Amenable to You (SERIE FEROCI 16)

elyjindria · 40 chapters · 9,836 words

Wattpad Originals Announcement

Hi, Elies!

I’m thrilled to share that Amenable to You (SERIE FEROCI 16) has been chosen for Wattpad Originals! This is a great achievement for me, and it has always been one of my dreams since this program launched. I know all this will never be possible without your love and support.

Serie Feroci was written without much thought and preparation, and I know it always shows. I wasn’t really proud of how I’ve written this series, but I’m always grateful to those who loved and supported this. You all gave me the strength to share this story with the world, even though I still doubt myself. I’m always thankful to all of you who gave this series a chance when I wasn’t confident at all.

I really hope you will respect my decision as this is a great opportunity for me as a writer. Salamat palagi. Salamat sa suporta at pagmamahal sa akin at sa mga kuwento ko.

With all my heart, Elyjindria

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Stay tuned for more updates, and in the meantime, you can learn more about Wattpad Originals here:

Wattpad Originals 101 [Filipino]

CHAPTER 1

Katrice Rivera

I have no purpose in life.

I don’t want to achieve anything in life… I don’t need anything. I was just existing, like a vessel… without feelings, without anything inside my heart.

I was only living for him… for Fiero De Greco.

I will never forget the first time I met him… I was trying to end my life.

“What are you trying to do?”

I was about to jump from here… the rooftop of the building… but I heard an unfamiliar voice of a man.

I looked at him. He was standing a few meters away behind me. But I could clearly see his eyes… just like mine, they were also lifeless, as if he had no purpose in life.

“I will jump from here… to end my life,” I said in a raspy voice.

He slightly tilted his head. “Why?”

“My life has been so boring,” I muttered. “I have nothing to live for… so I’ll just end my life.”

He nodded. “That’s unfortunate… Have you achieved anything in your life?”

I stared at him. He’s asking too much. Why was he even here? I don’t know him. I never met him before. It seemed like he didn’t know me either. Sa nakikita ko sa kaniya, mukhang wala rin naman siyang pakialam sa akin o balak na pigilan ako sa gagawin ko.

“I haven’t achieved anything… not that I have to anyway. It’s just… I’m no longer enjoying my life,” I said and shrugged.

“What do you want to do, though?” he asked.

“Nothing. I don’t want to do anything. Nothing drives me to do anything or to want anything. I was like an empty vessel. I have nothing to live for. I just don’t feel anything at all.”

He stared intently at me. I don’t even know why I’m saying all of this to him.

“Do you want to die for me?” he asked.

I chuckled emotionlessly and stared at him. I have to admit, his words really shocked me.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked and raised my eyebrow.

“Well… Instead of dying like this, why don’t you just die for me?” He grinned. “Come to think of it… You want excitement and thrill in your life, right?”

My forehead creased. “What do you want me to do?”

Ngumiti siya saka lumapit sa akin. Inilahad niya rin ang kamay niya, para bang sinasabi niya na sumama ako sa kaniya.

“Work for me. My work is quite dangerous. I kill people for a living. I will train you… I want you to kill for me, to protect me. Give your life to me. Sacrifice your life to me… Die for me.”

I stared at him. I don’t know… but for some reason, that sounds quite thrilling and exciting. I don’t even know this man or his reason for doing this. Maybe he’s just bored just like me… or maybe he just wants a slave… but none of it matters to me.

I held his hand. “Okay… You’ll be my life from now on. I will die for you… I will worship you.”

I didn’t even realize that ten years had already passed since that happened. I’m now 29 years old, while Fiero is 31.

“Katrice…”

I stopped reminiscing about the past when Fiero called me. Agad akong tumayo at lumapit sa table niya. Nandito lang din naman sa office niya ang table ko.

Kahit hindi niya pa sinasabi sa akin, alam ko na ang sasabihin niya.

“I already called the usual restau for your lunch…” I said in a cold tone.

He stopped typing on his laptop. Agad akong lumapit sa kaniya nang tumayo siya. I fixed his necktie and his hair. He closed his eyes and slightly tilted his head. Inalis ko ang salamin niya sa mata at inilagay ’yon sa lagayan. I took his cologne from my bag and sprayed a little on his neck.

Yes, I do all of these things for him, even the simplest ones. It almost felt like I was programmed to do this every day.

We went out of his office and entered his private elevator. We’re the only ones who are allowed to use this elevator. Fiero doesn’t like being surrounded by people. He’s also a germaphobe. Ayaw na ayaw niyang napapadikit nang basta sa kung sino-sino. Kaya rin lagi akong may dalang hand sanitizer para sa kaniya.

Nang makalabas kami ng elevator, agad na naglayuan ang mga empleyado sa amin. Alam na nila iyon. Ayaw na ayaw ni Fiero na madidikitan.

Sumakay na kami sa kotse niya. I opened the door from the backseat for him. Agad na akong sumakay sa driver’s seat nang makasakay siya. Ako rin ang nagda-drive para sa kaniya. Hindi siya kumportableng basta mag-hire ng kung sino.

I glanced through the rearview mirror while I was driving. I saw Fiero scrolling on his phone.

“Katrice…” he called for me.

“I already took care of Jason Pomerno’s body after I killed him last night,” I said… I already know what he was about to ask.

“Good,” he muttered.

Fiero De Greco is one of the most skilled killers that I know… but he hates getting himself dirty. Kaya kahit na kayang-kaya niya pumatay nang walang kurapan, sa akin niya pa rin ipapagawa. Ayaw na ayaw niyang nadudumihan ang damit at balat niya ng dugo. He only fights when he has no choice… or if we are outnumbered.

Kaya rin kilalang-kilala na ako ng Feroci. I don’t care about them, though. I don’t serve them. I’m only working for Fiero and no one else.

Nang makarating kami sa isa sa mga restaurant ni Draxon Laurent na palagi naming kinakainan ng lunch, agad na akong bumaba ng kotse para pagbuksan si Fiero.

We headed inside the restaurant. Walang katao-tao roon dahil naka-reserve ang buong restaurant kapag oras na ng lunch ni Fiero. Ayaw niya ng may ibang tao kaya ganoon.

Agad ko siyang ipinaghila ng upuan saka umupo sa tabi niya. Dumating na rin agad ang order namin dahil naka-order na ako kanina pa.

I started slicing the steak for Fiero. He was busy scrolling on his phone. One thing about Fiero is that he doesn’t stop working. Natitigil lang siyang magtrabaho kapag natutulog siya at naliligo.

Mabilis lang natapos kumain si Fiero. Agad din kaming umalis sa restaurant. Sunod naming pinuntahan ay ang party na gaganapin para sa pagbubukas ng bagong kompanya. It was under De Greco’s group of companies. Fiero didn’t want to attend, but I told him he had to. He still had to socialize with the powerful ones, even though he was probably the most powerful one there.

I opened the car door for him. I fixed his hair and necktie before we went inside. I looked at him… and I could already see that he wanted to leave this place so bad.

“Fuck this…” he muttered.

I smirked. “You have to endure this, Sir.”

“Why the fuck do I have to?” he murmured.

I just shook my head as we headed inside the venue. Halos lahat ng atensyon at tingin ay napunta sa amin… kay Fiero. Naririnig ko na agad ang mga mura sa isip niya.

“Fuck. I hate people,” he whispered. “Just talk to them in my stead.”

I already knew this would happen. Fiero really hates socializing. Sa paningin niya, marumi ang lahat ng tao.

Hindi kami nagtagal ng sampung minuto dahil nagyaya na rin umalis si Fiero. Wala na rin akong nagawa at sinunod siya.

Bumalik na lang kami sa opisina niya. Inayos ko muna ang table niya saka hinubad ang suit niya bago siya umupo sa swivel chair. Isinuot ko sa kaniya ang specs niya saka maayos na isinabit ang suit niya dahil ayaw niyang nagugusot iyon kahit kaunti.

I went back to my table. I sat on my swivel chair and started working.

I looked at Fiero again. He was busy typing on his laptop.

I slightly tilted my head while staring at him. I feel weird. It sometimes feels like I was hypnotized and programmed. I know to myself that I don’t feel anything for him. I don’t love him. I don’t like him either, but despite that, he’s still my life.

I still don’t care about myself and my life… but I’m willing to live and die for him… as if I only exist for him.

CHAPTER 2

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Natigilan ako sa pagta-type dahil sa tinanong ni Fiero. Napataas ang kilay ko saka seryosong tumingin sa kaniya.

“To be honest, I have no time for that, Sir…” I said in a cold tone.

Natigilan siya. He stared at me and slightly tilted his head, then he nodded… as if he realized that I really had no time for that at all. Sa kaniya pa lang, kulang na ang oras ko.

But I don’t want to have a boyfriend either. I don’t want to have a family. I just want to die alone… I just want to die for Fiero. That’s it. I don’t want or desire anything aside from serving Fiero.

“I think your obsession with Fiero is quite… weird.”

My face remained emotionless when Draxon Laurent suddenly came to me. I don’t even know why he’s here. Pero minsan gusto niya lang talaga manggulo.

Napatingin na lang ako kay Fiero na abala pa rin sa laptop niya. Mukhang hindi niya naman narinig ang pinagsasabi sa akin ni Draxon.

“Please shut up before I cut your dick off…” I said in a cold tone.

Draxon chuckled. “Damn, you’re so cold. That made you a hundred times hotter. Do you know that?” he asked, then he sat beside me. “Don’t waste your time with him… Work for me instead. Ni hindi ko hahayaang mabahiran ng dugo ’yang kamay mo,” bulong niya sa akin.

Madalas niya talaga akong alukin na sa kaniya na lang magtrabaho. Hindi ko alam kung ano’ng problema niya. Sa totoo lang ay wala naman akong pakialam sa kaniya, o sa kahit sino pang kasamahan ni Fiero sa Feroci Organization.

“Fiero is fucking boring, and he’s a fucking germaphobe. How can you even handle someone as boring as him? Kung ako ’yon, siguradong palaging exciting ang buhay mo.”

I really want to kick his ass right now… but I just did my best to focus on what I’m doing and didn’t bother talking to him anymore.

“Laurent… Do you want to die?”

Natigilan si Draxon nang biglang magsalita si Fiero. Natawa na lang si Draxon saka lumapit kay Fiero. Nag-usap sila ng kung ano… siguro tungkol sa Feroci. Hindi ko na lang sila pinagtuunan ng pansin at itinuloy ang ginagawa ko. Ang mahalaga lang sa akin ay ang mga inuutos ni Fiero.

Nang matapos ang trabaho, agad na rin kaming umalis ni Fiero ng opisina. Alam ko na agad ang gusto niyang gawin.

Agad na kaming sumakay sa kotse niya at pinaharurot ko na iyon papunta sa mansyon niya.

The moment we entered the house, I removed his suit and necktie. Isa na lang siguro ang bagay na hindi ko ginagawa sa kaniya… siguro iyon ay ang paliguan siya. I honestly don’t mind doing it though… but he has his own body care routine.

I went to my room after I took care of Fiero and took a shower. Yes, I also live here in his mansion. I have to be here all the time. Baka makalimutan ni Fiero magsuot ng damit kung isang araw lang akong mawawala. Halos lahat ginagawa ko para sa kaniya… Nasanay siya sa ganoon… Nasanay rin ako sa ganoon.

“Katrice…”

Natigilan ako sa paghahain nang dumating si Fiero sa dining area.

“Yes, Sir?” I asked.

I pulled a chair for him. He sat there while still reading a copy of the financial report. I sat beside him and started slicing the chicken breast for him. I prepared vegetable salad for him. Pati ang mga kinakain niya, tila nakaprogram na sa akin na lutuin.

“Fire Mr. Salvador tomorrow. I don’t want him to taint the name of my company with his fucking issues… Also, prepare for the board meeting tomorrow. I will also meet with Mr. Mallari, take care of the place. Inform the marketing team to change their proposal plan, I don’t fucking like it.”

I nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

I already took a note of it in my mind. I have great memorization skills, thanks to Fiero. I took a business administration course to be able to help him in handling his empire. But I know my knowledge is far from his. He’s a genius. He’s great with planning, strategies, and prediction.

Nang matapos kami mag-dinner, agad na akong naghugas ng mga pinggan. Dumeretso ako sa kwarto niya para ayusin iyon. Lumabas din ako agad pagkatapos. Naabutan ko si Fiero na nasa sala at nagtitingin pa rin ng mga files.

Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin nang mapansin ang presensya ko. He removed his eyeglasses and sighed.

“Have you checked the files I sent you?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yes, Sir… I will revise it later.”

He nodded and stood up. “Okay. I’ll go to sleep now. Take a rest too. Bukas mo na asikasuhin ang mga ’yan.”

Tumango na lang ako. He just nodded too and went to his room.

Even though we’ve been working together for a long time now, we still don’t have casual conversations. We only talk about work. I don’t think I have anything casual to say to him. Alam kong ganoon din naman siya sa akin.

I went back to my room and opened my laptop. Kahit na sinabi ni Fiero na bukas ko na asikasuhin, ngayon ko pa rin gagawin. Most people say that I’ve been living a boring life as I serve Fiero… but this is the only thing that keeps me going. This is the only thing that I want to do… to serve, to live, and to die for Fiero.

I stretched my back after working for almost two hours. Lumabas na ako ng kuwarto ko at dumeretso sa kusina para sana uminom ng tubig, pero natigilan ako nang mapansing nandoon si Fiero. Both of his hands were on the table. Nakatungo siya na para bang may malalim na iniisip.

Napataas ang kilay ko at lumapit sa kaniya. Mukhang kakagising niya lang dahil magulo pa ang buhok niya. Bakit naman nagising siya ng ganitong oras?

“Sir? Is there a problem?”

He looked at me. His eyes were cold as usual… but I saw something in them that I couldn’t explain. My forehead creased.

“Katrice… I’m having a fucking boner.”

Nasamid ako sa sinabi niya. Maybe this was the first time I lost my composure. I just sighed and tilted my head… I’m quite used to this. Halos lahat ng bagay, kumportable siya sabihin sa akin. Pero ngayon lang siya nagsabi sa akin ng tungkol sa ganito.

Fiero is a freaking virgin. Ayaw niyang humahawak sa kung sino kaya ganoon. He’s not comfortable around people. He thinks people are walking dirt.

I sighed and slightly tilted my head while staring at him. I crossed my arms. “Do you want me to help you with that?” I asked.

His eyebrow arched. “What?”

“Do you want me to help you with that?” I asked again.

“Why would you even—fuck…” he sighed and licked his lower lip.

Lumapit ako sa kaniya. “I don’t mind doing it. When I said I’ll do anything for you, this isn’t an exception,” I said in a serious tone.

I really don’t mind doing this. I don’t feel anything about it though… I just think that this is a part of my job. I have to serve him. I also have to satisfy him. I’m willing to give him what I can give.

CHAPTER 3

“Go back to your room.”

Iyon na lang ang sinabi ni Fiero saka umalis. Hinabol ko siya ng tingin nang magtungo siya sa silid niya.

I took my phone and started watching stuff to help him. I tilted my head while watching porn. This is quite weird. I have never had sex and been intimate with someone in my whole life. That’s why I’m gathering some data on how I’ll be able to help Fiero.

“I think that’s enough. I gathered enough information,” I muttered and put my phone down.

I went to Fiero’s room. He’s still awake. He’s standing on the balcony. He looked at me when he felt my presence. He sighed and crossed his arms.

“I told you, go back to your room,” he said in a stern voice.

I looked at his sweatpants. “You still have a boner.”

He licked his lower lip. “This is… this is fucking normal, Katrice.”

“Yeah… And I’ll help you with that problem, since you said… it’s normal,” I said in a cold tone. “How did you even get a boner?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Well, I just had a dirty dream, and I woke up with this.”

A normal person would laugh at what he said… but I guess I’m not a normal person.

Lumapit ako sa kaniya at hinila siya paupo sa kama. Halatang natigilan siya sa ginawa ko. Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata niya nang umupo ako sa kandungan niya. I rarely see him react… but I guess what I’m doing right now really shocks him.

“W-what are you—”

“Shh…” Agad kong pinutol ang sasabihin niya. “Let’s do this… I have to help you.”

“I know you’re not normal, but this is—”

He stopped when I suddenly kissed him. He froze, but he didn’t push me either. I moved my lips just like I’d watched in porn.

I just felt him touch my back… then he started kissing me back. For some reason, I could feel that this was his first kiss too. He seemed quite inexperienced, just like me.

I could feel his boner. I don’t know what to feel about it, or about the fact that we were kissing. This was something that I never imagined. But I will do it for him. As his employee, I have to focus on his well-being. I’m his slave after all.

His lips were soft. He just woke up, but I could taste the mint in his mouth. For some reason, I was starting to like the kiss. But I know it’s a normal bodily function.

I put my arms around his neck and kissed him harder. He pulled me closer to him and deepened the kiss. Natigilan pa ako nang buhatin niya ako saka inihiga sa kama. He didn’t stop kissing me, though.

His tongue started exploring my mouth… He was a fast learner. This is to be expected from him. He was a genius after all.

“Damn… I bet you’re thinking about some fucking weird shit again, Katrice,” he muttered between our kisses. “In this fucking situation.”

I didn’t say anything. I guess even though we don’t talk casually that much, he still knows me very well.

His lips went down to my jaw. I felt his hand on my waist. It was quite ticklish, even the way he kisses me. I don’t know if “ticklish” was the right term… or something else. Maybe pleasurable? I really don’t know. I’m not familiar with these things either.

I could feel his tongue on my neck. I stared at the ceiling and slightly tilted my head. That felt… amazing.

Should I moan too? Just like what I’ve watched in porn videos?

I mean… I really wanted to moan because of the feeling it caused me… but it felt odd. That is something I never imagined I would do.

“Katrice… Can I remove your clothes?” he asked in a raspy voice.

I looked at him and nodded. “Yes, Sir…”

He looked at me with disbelief. “I can’t believe you…” he muttered. “How can you call me ‘Sir’ in this situation?”

I looked at him, confused. “That’s what I always call you, though.”

He licked his lower lip and sighed. “But… fuck. Nevermind.”

I tried to analyze what he said… I started unbuttoning my sleepwear. I wasn’t wearing a bra, so he immediately saw my boobs. I’m confident that I have a good body. I always work out so that I can fight to protect Fiero.

I’m confident when it comes to cleanliness and hygiene too. I know that Fiero is a huge germaphobe, that’s why I always make sure that I’m clean… and I also make sure that I always smell good.

“Fiero…” I called his name.

His jaw clenched. “Are you really sure about this?” he asked.

I nodded without second thoughts.

“Do you want this?” he asked.

“I want it as long as you want it,” I said.

He licked his lower lip. “No, I’m asking if you want this… If you want this to happen.”

I nodded. “Yes, I want this to happen. I want to help you and—”

Natigilan ako nang bigla niyang hinablot ang kumot saka itinakip sa katawan ko. Agad siyang umalis ng kama saka napabuga ng hangin.

“Get out… We shouldn’t be doing this in the first place,” he said and sat on the couch.

Bumangon ako saka seryosong tumitig sa kaniya. “Why? I can feel that you need me? What’s stopping you?” I asked.

He stared at me and crossed his arms. “It feels like I’m forcing you. I don’t like it… Go back to your room and sleep. Let’s just forget this happened… We still have a lot of things to do tomorrow.”

“You’re not forcing me. Whatever satisfies you will satisfy me too. Whatever you want to do, I want it too. You know that I’m willing to do anything for you. Doon ako nabubuhay… Alam mo ’yon, ’di ba?” tanong ko habang seryosong nakatingin sa kaniya.

He closed his eyes as his head fell back. “Damn… You’re unbelievable…”

He stood up and stroked his hair. “Go back to your room.”

THE NEXT DAY, we didn’t talk about it just like what he said. I continued doing my job. He did the same.

We worked until nighttime. I looked at my watch. It’s already 9 p.m.

Umalis ako ng table ko at lumapit kay Fiero. Natigilan ako nang mapansing nakatungo siya habang nakapatong ang mga siko sa table niya.

“Sir?”

Hindi niya ako pinansin. Napakunot ang noo ko saka lumapit sa kaniya… Natigilan ako nang mapatingin sa pants niya.

“You’re having a boner, Sir…” I said.

“I fucking know…” he muttered.

“I told you, Sir… just let me help you and—”

Natigilan ako nang bigla siyang tumayo. Lumapit siya sa akin habang seryosong nakatitig… I wasn’t sure. Maybe I made him mad.

I froze when he suddenly grabbed my waist and carried me… then he made me sit on his table.

“Sir, what are you—”

I stopped when he suddenly kissed my lips… He kissed me aggressively… as if he’d been holding back.

CHAPTER 4

I don’t know if it was because I wanted to help him… or because I wanted it too… but I was kissing him back.

I could feel his hands on my waist… he was gently gripping it, as if he were losing control. His kisses were too aggressive… but I wasn’t stopping him.

I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back with equal fervor, with equal eagerness. I was naturally keeping up with him. Until we’re both in sync… I no longer care about anything.

He stopped kissing me for a while and stared at me. I stared at him too… I got to appreciate his good-looking face. I admit, Fiero is really handsome. I never thought before that it was possible to meet a man as handsome as him.

He has a piercing on his right ear. His black hair was always slicked back, and it always looked clean. He has thick eyebrows and beautiful hazel eyes. He has long eyelashes, he has longer eyelashes than me. He has a pointed nose, a sharp jawline, a clean-shaved jaw, and beautiful, naturally pinkish lips. He was almost unreal.

I rarely got to appreciate his ethereal looks… because I was always focusing on work in helping and serving him.

I understand now why I often hear from others that I’m like a freakin’ robot. It’s impossible not to fold with this handsome man in front of me… and knowing that I’ve been working for him for a long time makes me question what I was doing the whole time.

I shook my head. I have little to no feeling anyway. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t find anyone attractive. I don’t feel anything for people. I only want to serve Fiero… That’s my only purpose.

He kissed me again. I didn’t hesitate and kissed him back. He was nibbling my lips. He was gently sucking and biting them. I could feel his warm tongue exploring my lips, then my mouth. I could taste the familiar minty taste in his mouth. He was the cleanest person I know, it’s not that I know many people… but he’s probably one of the most hygienic and good-smelling people in the world. I’m sure it wasn’t his cologne. It was his natural scent. He smells really good.

I couldn’t help it. I bit his lower lip. He was taken aback with that. He stared at me… I put my face on his neck and inhaled his scent. Damn. He really smells good. I gently bit the skin on his neck.

“Damn, Katrice…” he muttered.

He started kissing my lips again. Down to my jaw, down to my neck… I was quite worried. For sure, I smell like sweat from working the whole day. I bit my lower lip and observed him. I expected him to push me, but he continued kissing my neck.

His hand went to the button of my suit. He was about to unbutton, but he stopped when someone knocked on the door.

I could feel his jaw clench. Agad akong umalis sa table niya at inayos ang damit ko. Lumapit ako sa pinto para pagbuksan kung sino ang kumatok. It was the head of the marketing team.

“Ma’am… Here’s the advertisement proposal that we prepared.”

I nodded and took the folder. “Okay.”

Agad na rin siyang umalis. Sinara ko na ang pinto saka tumingin kay Fiero. He was staring at me. He licked his lower lip and closed his eyes.

“We’re done for the day. Let’s go…”

Iyon na lang ang sinabi niya. Tumango ako at lumapit sa kaniya. I fixed his necktie and took his things.

We left the company. I drove on our way home. We were both quiet the whole ride. I know we’re always quiet and we rarely talk about things, but I don’t know why it feels like today… we’re too quiet.

As soon as we got home, we both went to our room. I took a quick shower, then I went to the kitchen to prepare dinner for us.

Nang dumating siya sa kusina, sakto na tapos na ako magluto. Naghain ako para sa kaniya. As usual, I sliced his food for him. We both eat quietly, as always.

“Katrice…”

I looked at him. “Yes?”

He stared at me. He slightly tilted his head, as if he were observing me. “Don’t you really see yourself getting married or building a family with someone?”

I drank my water before I answered. “No. I don’t see myself getting married and building a family. I don’t like family. I don’t want to be committed to someone. I hate kids too… I only want to live and die for you. That’s all I wanted.”

I don’t know why he’s suddenly asking this. We don’t talk about this anymore.

“You will eat those words once you fall in love with someone,” he said.

I chuckled emotionlessly. “Do you think I’m capable of loving someone? You’ve been with me for a long time, Sir. You know that I don’t feel such things. If I could love someone, I would have fallen in love with you a long time ago, but I didn’t… I don’t feel anything, Sir. Love is not for someone like me.”

He chuckled and stared intently at me. “I could feel that… That’s why I took you years ago, because I know you lack emotions the first time I saw you… For someone like me, it’s so convenient to have someone who’s not emotional. You’re perfect for me.”

I smiled a little. “That’s good to hear, Sir.”

Isinandal niya ang likod sa sandalan ng upuan saka tumingin sa kisame. “Wow. When was the last time I saw you smile?”

“I can smile whenever you want me to. Just tell me. I told you, I’ll do anything for you,” I said and drank my water.

He went silent for a while. I looked at him. I don’t know what he was thinking right now.

“That’s not what I want,” he muttered. He’s still staring at the ceiling.

I nodded. Okay, so he doesn’t want to see me smile. I can do that for him too.

“Katrice…” he called my name, then he looked at me again.

“Yes, Sir?” I asked.

“Do you want to have a sexual relationship with me?” he asked.

I nodded. “It’s fine, Sir. I don’t mind having a sexual relationship with you.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “You’re so fucking hard to handle. You drive me nuts,” he muttered.

I don’t know what he meant by that. “Please tell me what’s wrong with me. So that I can fix it.”

He stared at me. “Tell me… Do you want to have sex with me?”

I nodded. “Yes. It will make you feel better, right?”

He licked his lower lip. “No, I’m asking if you really want it…”

I nodded. “Yes, I really want it.”

“If I don’t want to have sex with you, do you still want it?” he asked.

His questions were confusing me. I shook my head. “No. I don’t want it if you don’t want to do it.”

“So, your answer depends on my wants…”

I nodded. “Of course. I serve you.”

I froze when he suddenly grabbed my nape and kissed me hard on my lips. I kissed him back… It was intense… then it became gentle… as if he were teasing me. His lips were gentle. His tongue was warm and soft on my lips… in my mouth. I could feel my knees weakening.

Natigilan ako nang bigla siyang tumigil. He stared at me and smiled.

“Let’s stop now… I’m sorry, but I will only have sex with you if you really want it,” he said before he left me in the kitchen.

I stared at the wall… I don’t know what to feel.

I felt something weird inside of me. I’m quite… frustrated.

CHAPTER 5

I couldn’t focus on my work for the past few days. I kept thinking about it… about what he meant by that. What does he really want? It was quite confusing for me.

Maybe this is what I get for not being emotionally intelligent. I’m intelligent and smart in a lot of things, but I lack so much when it comes to emotions.

I bit the tip of my pen and looked at Fiero’s table. He was busy typing on his laptop. He stopped and looked at me.

I cleared my throat and stood up. Lumapit ako sa kaniya at nagtanong.

“Do you need anything, Sir?” I asked.

He shook his head. He removed his eyeglasses and stared at me. “I don’t need anything right now, Katrice… How about you? Do you need anything?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t need anything, Sir… I was just worried because you looked at me.”

“Well… It was because you were staring at me,” he said and touched his lower lip.

I looked at his lips too. I don’t know why he’s being like this. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I’ve been asking what he needs. Wala naman akong nakukuha na maayos na sagot mula sa kaniya.

I continued doing my work, but I couldn’t get my mind off Fiero. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with him, or how I’m going to know what’s going on in his mind.

It’s somewhat hard to have no friends at all. I don’t have anyone to talk to about things like this.

“Huy, Katrice…”

I stopped from going in the elevator when I heard someone call my name. Natigilan ako nang mapansing may babaeng palapit sa akin. She’s familiar, but I don’t remember her name.

“Hindi mo ’ko maalala, ’no?” she asked and raised her eyebrow.

I nodded. “Yes. I don’t remember you.”

Napasinghap siya saka humawak sa dibdib niya. “Grabe! Ang honest mo naman… Anyway, ako ’to! Si Denise! Denise Villamor.”

I still don’t remember her upon hearing her name, but I just nodded. “Okay. I’ll go ahead now.”

Papasok na sana ako sa elevator, pero agad siyang humawak sa braso ko. Napangisi siya saka nagtaas-baba ng kilay sa akin.

“Napadaan ako rito kasi naalala kita… Hindi kita naka-bonding noong nag-beach tayo… Curious na curious talaga ako sa’yo. Gusto mong mag-coffee muna tayo?”

Napataas ang kilay ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto niya mula sa akin.

“What’s wrong with you?” hindi ko napigilang itanong.

Napanguso siya. “Kay Fiero pa rin umiikot ang mundo mo?”

Napailing na lang ako at akmang papasok na sa elevator, pero natigilan ako. I looked at her and raised my eyebrow. “Actually, I think I need to talk to you.”

Napasinghap siya at napangiti. “Wow. Unexpected ’yan, ah… Niyaya lang kita kahit alam kong tatanggihan mo ’ko. Anyway, sure ka?”

Tumango ako. “Yeah. I want to ask you something.”

Napatango naman siya. Natigilan ako nang yumakap siya sa braso ko at napangiti. I really wanted to push her, but I just didn’t say anything and let her pull me.

Dinala niya ako sa kotse niya at pinasakay roon. I don’t trust her, but I’m not scared of being alone here with her… I know I can fight her if ever.

“I’m really happy na sumama ka sa akin. I really, really want na maka-chika ka, alam mo ba ’yon?” tila excited na sabi ni Denise.

Hindi ako kumibo at kinuha na lang ang phone ko mula sa bag para i-text si Fiero.

Sir, I have an important meeting with someone. I’ll be late.

Mabilis siyang nag-reply.

Sir Fiero: Who’s that someone? Why didn’t you inform me about that?

Me: This is a personal meeting. It’s not related to work.

Sir Fiero: What? This never happened before. Who are you with? I need you here right now.

Me: Mabilis lang ito, Sir. I’ll just text you later.

Itinago ko na ulit ang cellphone ko sa bulsa ko dahil baka humaba pa ang usapan namin.

“Si Fiero ’yon?” tanong ni Denise.

Hindi ako sumagot at tumingin lang sa bintana.

“Tsk tsk… Dapat kasi pinaghihiwalay rin kayo minsan. Masyado kasi kayong clingy sa isa’t isa. I mean…” she cleared her throat. “Masyado kayong reliant sa isa’t isa. Kaya tuloy wala kayong personal life,” napapailing na sabi niya.

“I don’t need a personal life. My purpose is to serve him,” I muttered.

“Wow… Sa’yo na ang most loyal award. Sa’yo na ang korona, ’te!”

Napangiwi ako. She’s too loud. I hate her already.

Buong biyahe siyang daldal nang daldal. Nagpasalamat na lang ako nang tumigil na ang kotse sa tapat ng coffee shop. Agad na akong bumaba. Bumaba rin naman siya agad at lumapit sa akin saka kumapit sa braso ko.

Wala na akong nagawa nang hilahin niya ako sa loob. Buti na lang at walang masyadong tao sa coffee shop. Tahimik din at maganda ang ambiance.

Hinila na niya ako paupo. Imbis na sa tapat ko, sa tabi ko siya umupo. Napakunot ang noo ko at nagtatakang tumingin sa kaniya, pero ngumiti lang siya nang matamis sa akin.

“So, what are we going to talk about?” she asked.

I stared intently at her. “I’m curious about something. But you have to keep this to yourself.”

She nodded. “Okay. Naka-zip ang mouth ko.”

“I wanted to help Fiero with something a little bit… personal. I’ve been doing things for him, but this time, he seems hesitant about it. It seems like he wants it too, but he was restraining himself. I don’t understand. It’s my role to serve him with everything… Bakit parang ayaw niya? Ganoon naman talaga ang sistema namin noon pa. He wants me to want it too. I don’t understand him at all.”

Napatingin ako kay Denise. Nakaawang ang labi niya habang nakatitig sa akin. Napakunot na lang ang noo ko. Why is she looking at me like that?

“Is that about sex?” she asked.

I slightly tilted my head, then nodded. “Yes, this is about sex.”

Napaupo si Denise sa sinabi ko. “My goodness. Robot ka ba, Katrice?” tila hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Denise.

“I just don’t understand him. What does he really want? It’s confusing me. He’s acting different. Sex lang naman—”

“Wait…” she stopped me. “Here’s the thing, Katrice. Ipapaliwanag ko sa’yo, ha?” She cleared her throat. “Fiero wants you to want sex willingly… not because it’s your job to serve him… Wow, I thought he was a complete asshole,” she whispered the last part, but I heard it.

My eyebrows furrowed. “What I want isn’t important. What’s important is—”

“But it’s important for him, Katrice. Ayaw niya na parang pinipilit ka niya sa ganoong bagay. I know you’ve been doing a lot of things for him… pero ibang usapan ang sex, Katrice. He wants you to want it. Hindi lang dahil trabaho mong pagsilbihan siya… Naiintindihan mo na ba?”

Napatitig ako sa table… I’m trying to process whatever she was saying.

“So… he wants me to initiate?” I asked.

Denise sighed. “Parang gano’n… Pero ang gusto niya kasi rito, e, magustuhan mong makipag-sex sa kaniya. ’Yung gusto mo talaga. Please try to understand. Sumasakit ang ulo ko, para akong may kausap na robot.”

I bit my lower lip and slightly tilted my head. “I think… I understand now.”

HANGGANG SA MAKABALIK ako sa office, hindi maalis sa isip ko ang napag-usapan namin ni Denise.

Natigilan ako nang mapansing wala na si Fiero sa office. Agad kong kinuha ang phone ko sa bag, halos malimutan ko nang i-check iyon.

Napapitlag ako nang makitang maraming texts at missed calls si Fiero.

Sir Fiero:

Where are you, Katrice?

I still need you here.

I have a fucking headache.

I went home. Alone.

Agad akong umalis ng building nang mabasa ang messages niya. Sumakay ako ng taxi pauwi.

Napailing ako at napabuga ng hangin. Ngayon na lang yata ulit niya naranasan umuwi mag-isa at mag-drive. I’m quite worried about him.

Nang makauwi na ako, wala si Fiero sa sala at sa kusina. I stroked my hair with my fingers and remembered what Denise and I talked about earlier… I guess I have to do that.

I went to Fiero’s room. Naabutan ko siyang nakatayo sa may balcony. Agad siyang napalingon sa akin at napakunot ang noo.

“Where have you been, Katrice? Why the fuck are you—”

“Let’s have sex…” agad kong pagputol sa sasabihin niya.

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. “What?”

I smiled. I understand what he wants now. He wants me to be willing… he wants me to want this too. That’s the only way for him to let me help him with this.

“I want to have sex with you, Fiero…”

CHAPTER 6

Fiero’s reaction shocked me a little. He just chuckled while staring intently at me.

“Katrice… You don’t mean what you’re saying right now. I can see it in your emotionless eyes,” he said and shook his head. “Stop this nonsense and just tell me where the hell you have been.”

I sighed and stroked my hair with my fingers. I couldn’t believe it still didn’t work. What’s wrong with him?

“I talked with Denise… Denise Villamor,” I muttered.

His eyes narrowed. “Denise Villamor? Siya ba ang nagturo sa’yo ng kung ano-ano? That woman is not a good influence.”

“She actually helped a lot with my… emotional struggles.” I don’t know if it’s right to call it emotional struggles.

Fiero shook his head and grinned. “Yeah… It seems so.” He licked his lower lip. “Maybe I was just overreacting. You never did something like that before. I mean… meeting with someone due to something personal.”

I nodded. “Yeah. You were overreacting.”

Natahimik na kaming pareho. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko at seryosong tumingin sa kaniya. Napataas ang kilay niya. He even crossed his arms, his muscular arms were showing.

“Do you still have anything to say, Katrice?” he asked.

Lumapit ako sa kaniya. Halatang natigilan siya sa ginawa ko. I stared intently at him and slightly tilted my head.

“You’re having a boner right now,” I muttered.

Napatingin siya sa ibaba. “Fuck,” mariing mura niya saka agad na tumalikod sa akin.

“You’re acting like a kid, Fiero…” I said in a cold tone and crossed my arms.

He looked at me. His eyes narrowed. “Wow, you’ve been calling me by my name.”

“Because you’re acting so out of character. Sex is not a big deal for me. I mean… of course I want it too. I’m just a woman with needs,” I said, trying to manipulate him with my words.

“I know you, Katrice… You don’t have needs like that. Stop trying to manipulate me. Go back to your room and rest,” he said in an authoritative voice.

Wala na akong nagawa at lumabas na lang ng silid niya. Dumeretso ako sa kuwarto ko at nag-shower. Habang nasa bathroom, hindi maalis sa isip ko kung ano ang dapat kong gawin kay Fiero.

Naalala kong ibinigay sa akin ni Denise ang number niya kanina. Sinabi niya na tawagan ko lang siya kung may mga gusto pa akong malaman o itanong.

Napailing na lang ako at nagsuot na ng kumportableng damit. Natigilan ako nang maalala kong hindi ko pa naipagluluto ng hapunan si Fiero. Agad akong lumabas ng kuwarto at dumeretso sa kusina… pero natigilan ako nang makitang nandoon si Fiero.

“Sir?” I called for him.

He looked at me. He was holding a knife. Agad akong lumapit sa kaniya. Napakurap ako nang mapansing naghihiwa siya ng carrots.

“W-what the hell was that?” I asked and pointed at the carrots.

“I was trying to cook,” he said in a sarcastic manner.

“Why didn’t you just call for me? Ni hindi ka marunong maghiwa ng carrots. May balat pa,” hindi ko napigilang sabihin.

He cleared his throat. “Sinadya ko iyan.”

Napataas ang kilay ko sa kaniya. “Yeah, right…” sarkastikong sabi ko na lang.

I shook my head. He acts like a kid sometimes. Minsan napapaisip ako kung kasalanan ko ba iyon.

“I know what I’m doing, okay? Just watch…” he said confidently.

“Bakit ba bigla kang nagluluto?” nakakunot-noong tanong ko.

“Basta, gusto ko lang,” sabi na lang niya saka muling bumalik sa paghihiwa.

I crossed my arms and watched what he was doing. Unang kita ko pa lang kung paano niya hiwain ang carrots, gusto ko na agad siya itulak palayo at ako na lang ang gumawa.

I don’t know what’s wrong with him these past few days. It all started because of his boner.

“What are you even trying to cook?” hindi ko na napigilan magtanong.

He looked at me. “I’m trying to cook chicken curry. I watched this online. I know what I’m doing.”

Muli siyang bumalik sa ginagawa. Panay ang iling ko habang pinapanood siya. I bet he doesn’t even know how to cook rice.

Tila hindi na makapag-focus si Fiero. Humawak siya sa kamay ko at hinila ako paupo sa upuan.

“Just sit there and stop watching me. Matatapos na ito.”

Wala na akong nagawa at hinayaan siya. Tahimik na umupo na lang ako at hindi na nagsalita pa.

Ilang saglit lang, natapos na siya. Inihain niya ang niluto niya. Inabutan niya ako ng kutsara at plato. Napatingin ako sa niluto niya.

Umupo na siya sa tabi ko saka napangisi. “Go ahead and taste it.”

Tumango ako at tinikman ang niluto niya. Napakurap ako.

“It tastes horrible,” I muttered.

“You’re fucking rude.” Napakunot ang noo niya saka agad na kinuha sa akin ang kutsara at tumikim din. “Fuck… It really tastes horrible.”

Nagkibit-balikat na lang ako at kinuha sa kaniya ang kutsara… saka tumuloy sa pagkain. Natigilan naman siya at pinapanood lang ako.

“How can you eat this?” he asked.

I shrugged. “You cooked this.”

He shook his head and took the plate from me. “No. Don’t eat this. Let’s just eat instant noodles.”

Natigilan ako. He doesn’t like eating instant noodles. Ako lang ang kumakain no’n kapag nakatutok ako sa trabaho hanggang gabi.

Ako na ang tumayo at nag-asikaso sa pagluluto ng instant noodles. Umupo na lang siya at pinanood ako. Nang matapos ako, agad ko siyang ipinaghain.

“Is this spicy?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I will never serve you spicy food.”

I know he can’t bear eating spicy food. Mababa ang tolerance niya sa anghang.

Tahimik na kumain na lang kami. Hindi na naman siya nagsalita pa. Hindi na rin ako kumibo at tahimik na kumain.

Nang matapos kaming kumain, niligpit ko na ang pinagkainan namin saka naghugas ng plato. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi pa rin umaalis si Fiero sa kusina. Nararamdaman ko na lang na nakatingin siya sa likod ko.

“Katrice…”

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. “Hmm?”

He stared at me. “You deserve to be happy.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. “What do you mean?”

He licked his lower lip and stood up. “I mean… You deserve to be happy, be in love with someone, have a family with someone… You deserve to live for yourself.”

My forehead creased… I understand what he was saying… and I don’t like it.

“I like what I’m doing,” I muttered.

He sighed and gave me a faint smile. “Do you know what I regret the most, Katrice?”

Hindi ako nagsalita… Nanatili akong nakatitig sa kaniya.

“I regret making you my slave… I shouldn’t have saved you in that way… I regret making you live for me.”

What he said… scared me for some reason.

CHAPTER 7

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