Chapter 00

#BEM00 Chapter 00

“So, do we have a deal?”

I wasn’t getting any younger, and I wanted to get my family off of my back. They were in such a rush to marry me off. So, instead of them getting to decide on who I’d end up with, I’d rather be the one who’d do the picking.

“Are you for real?”

I nodded at Archibald Reign Gallego–lawyer by profession, but future president by ambition. He hadn’t announced yet, but I knew that he’s planning on running for mayor. Kasi d’yan naman nagsisimula hanggang maka-akyat ka sa pinaka-taas.

“You don’t look too bad,” I said.

His lips parted. “Thanks?”

“And I know you like my last name,” I continued that made his jaw clench. His family just got involved in a huge corruption ‘allegation.’ Case was still pending, but in the court of public opinion, they’re already guilty. Paano na ang pangarap niya kung ngayon pa lang ay sirang-sira na ang pangalan niya?

“It’s the 21st century–your idea of arranged marriage is outdated.”

I sarcastically laughed at his face. “Please,” I quipped. “Your name’s not even near my family’s radar. Me choosing to marry you is my idea of rebellion. Get over yourself, Atty. Gallego.”

Hindi siya nakapagsalita. He better get used to it–I didn’t hold back. Maigsi lang ang buhay kaya sasabihin ko ang gusto kong sabihin.

“What will you get from this?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Freedom.”

“By marrying me?”

I nodded. “Don’t worry, we’ll just be married on paper. I’ll do my part and you do yours. I’m going to accompany you in every campaign,” sabi ko sa kanya. It was easy. Mula pagka-bata ay ginagawa ko na iyan sa bawat kampanya ng lolo ko. I knew how to answer every question, how to look a certain way. Growing up in the eye of the public, I knew how my every movement would be perceived.

“You’ll be a mayor, then congressman, then senator. Pretty soon, you’ll be called Mr. President.”

“How about your cousin?” he asked.

I remained silent. I didn’t like discussing family matters with people outside the family.

“What will you get from this?” he repeated.

“Freedom.”

“By getting married?” he asked like I was out of my mind.

“Yes,” I replied again. “I don’t love you right now, but I’m not close to the possibility. We’ll just have to see, I guess?” I continued. “Let’s give it a year, but if we don’t work out, you’re free to have mistresses, but you have to be very careful. I don’t like for my reputation to be tarnished, Mr. Gallego. That’s my only requirement.”

A lot of my uncles cheated on their wife–heck, my father cheated on my mother. I was starting to think that it’s part of men’s structure, pero hindi naman ganoon ang mga pinsan ko, so really, it’s confusing. But one thing’s for sure, my husband could not cheat on me if I’d give him consent to go see other women. It’s fine. Kung hindi ko naman mahal, bakit ako masasaktan?

“Oh, and don’t get other women pregnant–also another requirement,” I added. I just didn’t want the headache of children popping out of nowhere and claiming that they’re family–had enough of that drama to last me five lifetimes.

His lips parted again. “What if I want to have kids?”

“We’ll hire a surrogate,” I replied. “Does this mean you agree to this proposition?”

Tumitig siya sa akin.

“The rumors are true–you really are insane,” he said.

I sweetly smiled at him. “So, do we have a deal?” I asked.

“You have a deal, Ms. Nadia de Marco,” he replied as offered his hand.

I took his hand and stared at his eyes. “Remember my requirements, Mr. Gallego–or I’ll personally destroy everything we will work hard for,” I said as I smiled at him. 

---

**

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Chapter 01

Chapter 01

“Is there a contest or something?” Aspen asked upon seeing me. It was Sunday and Sunday means brunch. I was dressed to the nines. I’d always been a firm believer that whatever shit life throws at me, at the very least, I’m well-dressed.

“What?” I asked although alam ko naman kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihin.

“About who will give Abuela that heart attack that finally will kill her?”

“Aspen,” I said, holding my laughter.

“Don’t be jealous if I can say it out loud.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever,” sagot ko. “Are they all inside?”

“Yeah. Already discussing the newspaper articles.”

I shrugged as he threw the cigarette on the ground at sinamahan ako na maglakad papasok. Even from afar ay rinig na rinig ko na iyong mga boses niya. I wasn’t sure, but I heard someone question if I was having a mental breakdown because why on earth would I associate myself with the Gallegos after the scandal that their family went through?

What could I say? I like challenges.

“Ready?” Aspen asked as we were few steps away from the dining area.

“Born ready, my dear,” I replied as I gently tapped his cheek.

Pagdating namin doon ay mabilis silang natahimik na akala mo ay hindi nila pinag-uusapan ako at kung nasisiraan na ba ako ng bait. I was sure I heard a suggestion of sending me to one of those resorts. I scoffed internally. Archie would lose his shit kapag nalaman niya na ganito ang reaksyon ng pamilya ko–not after him being sure that I specifically chose him because of who he was.

“Nadia.”

Lahat sila ay napa-tingin sa akin nang banggitin ni Abuela ang pangalan ko.

“Yes, La?” I replied politely. I would never lose my shit–at least not in public. I like the fact that the public thinks that I was someone who’s level headed and always in control… But I just like playing my part and I’m a pretty vindictive person.

And I always want to be the one to control the narrative.

“You and that boy Gallego,” she calmly said, but we all knew better.

“Archie, you mean?”

Her face was neutral as she reached for that cup of tea. “Archie,” she repeated with that split-second look of disdain on her face. I held my smile. Ganyan din ang itsura ni Archibald nang tawagin ko siyang Archie. But if we’d sell that we’re getting married, I needed to call him Archie because Archibald’s a mouthful and I refused to call him Arch like his friends.

“Yes, La. We’ve been dating for quite a while. Archie’s nice–you’ll like him,” dugtong ko pa. Napapailing na lang ang mga matatanda sa akin habang nagpipigil ng tawa ang mga pinsan ko. Well, I was glad to be a source of entertainment for these people.

My mom looked like she was begging to quit talking, but she’s the one who harassed me into finding a potential husband. I was doing fine on my own–running my own business and keeping my private life private. Sila ang nagsimula ng topic na pagpapakasal ko.

“Invite him next Sunday, then.”

“He’ll love it,” naka-ngiting sagot ko. I knew this game–I wasn’t the first person to date someone they do not approve. They’ll invite you and be polite to you while subtly making you feel like you don’t belong. They’re–we’re–all masters of making people feel like they could not get in the club.

I didn’t know exactly why… probably because a lot of shit has happened and is still happening in this family and there’s just too much dirt under the surface. You can never really be one of us unless you’ve been there right from the beginning.

Nothing personal, though. It’s not fun being one of us–it probably looks fun, but behind the pictures lie a shit ton of drama.

The lunch ended faster than imagined. Abuela looked like she’s brewing something, but please, I’d been sitting on the front row. I’d seen every move. She could not surprise me.

“Are you seriously dating Gallego?” Addie asked.

“What? He looks nice,” sagot ko. Archie’s face could pass as a movie actor, but that wasn’t what lead me to him–it’s his ambition to be the next president that made me look his way.

“Yeah, but we both know you won’t settle with someone just because he looks nice.”

I laughed. “Okay fine,” sagot ko dahil alam ko naman na wala akong maitatago sa kanya. We were in the middle of the garden and no one was within hearing distance. “Obviously, I don’t really love him, but we both know that love’s overrated, anyway.”

She shrugged. “I half agree.”

“But we can both agree that love makes people do stupid shits?”

She nodded. “That, we can both agree on.”

I smirked. “And you know me, Adelaide de Marco–I hate looking stupid.”

“All about public perception.”

“You know it,” I said.

“But why Gallego? You like the challenge?” tanong niya dahil alam naming lahat iyong eskandalo na kinakaharap ng buong pamilya niya. He’s already a city councilor, but how could he move up the ladder pagkatapos ng kinasangkutan na eskandalo ng pamilya niya?

“He’s ambitious.”

“Aren’t all politicians are?” she asked and I nodded. I’d seen a lot of politicians do stupid shit to please my family. Minsan, nakaka-tawa na lang. Madalas, nakaka-awa.

“I don’t know… there’s something about Archie. I can make him something.” If he would not mess up my plans, that is. I have a lot of plans for us. We can be the next first family if he’d let me have my way.

I left when I saw my parents approaching. I was not in the mood to discuss the articles again. I went to Archie’s condo and he was frowning upon seeing me.

“Hi there,” I said as I kissed his cheek. I straightened the lines on his forehead nang halikan ko ang pisngi niya. “Control your facial expression, future president,” pagtawag ko sa kanya. His scowl deepened. “Can I come inside?” I asked and he widened the door for me.

I made myself comfortable.

“Free your next Sunday. You’re invited to brunch,” I said.

“Your family invited me?”

“Yes.”

“This is fucking happening–”

“Archie, language, please,” I said that made him scowl harder. “You can show your disdain without using such word. Is your vocabulary limited?”

He poured himself a glass of whiskey. “I don’t know what your plan is, Nadia.”

“We’ll date for a few months and then we’ll announce our engagement. We’ll have the wedding of the year and then we’ll announce your bid to be the next mayor,” I said as I crossed my legs.

“What about the scandal?” he asked.

“Will be forgotten by then,” I replied. “Archie, the public is like a… gold fish. You give them something new to talk about and your scandal will be yesterday’s news.”

“You’re confident.”

I smiled. “Yes. Because I was raised in this environment,” I said. “And you are, too, so don’t disappoint me.”

Ipinatong niya ang kamay sa island at tumingin sa akin. “How sure are you that I’ll win?” he asked. “I don’t want to marry you and get nothing.”

‘See, Addie? I chose the right guy.’

“I don’t want to sound cocky but Archie, as long as I’m by your side, you’ll be fine… at least politically speaking.”

He scoffed. “You talk as if you know what will happen.”

“You just have to trust me,” I said.

“That you’ll make me the president one day?”

I stared at him.

There’s a reason why I spent my childhood listening to stories about my grandparents…

There’s a reason why people say that history is bound to repeat itself.

“Trust, Archie,” I simply said.

“What if that doesn’t happen? What, then? I would have married you for nothing.”

I rolled my eyes. “I told you, we’ll give it a year and if you still hate the sight of me, you’re free to get mistresses–just be discreet about it.”

I wasn’t naive. Almost every married man I know has a mistress or two. It’s almost like the norm… Thank god my cousins do not do shit like that–probably because we all knew what happens when you do something like that.

Feelings get hurt—children mostly.

“Right,” he snorted. “A year.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Archie–”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Archie,” I repeated, much to his dismay. “When we get married, I’m going to be your wife. We’ll do what husband and wife do,” sabi ko sa kanya. Napaawang ang labi niya. Napa-kurap. “Sex, Archie. We’ll have sex.”

I almost laughed at his reaction.

He’s almost too easy to read.

We have a long way to go.

“That’s why I told you, we’ll give it a year. Better if we develop feelings for each other, that will make everything easier,” sabi ko dahil mukhang hindi siya magaling umarte sa harap ng mga tao. “But if you really do not like me, I won’t stop you from seeing other people.”

I stood up and looked at his closet while he was gathering himself. Namili ako ng isusuot niya sa brunch namin. I didn’t need my family’s approval, but it would still be nice to get them on board. I didn’t want to waste more energy proving this relationship to them. I needed to focus on Archie and how I’d make him more likeable in public. So far, he still gives the… privileged vibe. People won’t vote for him. He’s not relatable. Not in the slightest.

“Nadia,” he called from behind me.

“What–” But I abruptly stopped when I felt his lips on mine. “What–”

His hand was already unbuttoning my top. “Maybe I’ll feel closer to you if we do this,” he said as he unhooked the front of my bra. I stopped myself from laughing when I saw his reaction. Why are men so weak for breasts?

“Fine,” I said as I pushed him to his bed and started to get undressed before him. 

**

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Chapter 02

Chapter 02

Growing up, I was always told to keep my ‘virginity’ in tact because apparently, it’s the best gift I could give to my husband. The thing was, I never heard them telling my male cousins to stay virgin because that’s the best gift they could gift to their future wife.

So, I said to myself, screw that ‘gift.’

The moment I turned 18, I got rid of that virginity.

I scrolled through the contact list on my phone, trying to choose who I’d ask to help me get rid of that virginity. I just hated that word as if that’s the measurement of my worth. It’s just a piece of hymen. Better get rid of it para hindi na mapasok pa sa isip ko.

I called Levi for lunch and then in the middle, I asked him if he’d have sex with me. I could still clearly remember him choking on his drink dahil nabigla siya sa sinabi ko. He was weirded out at first… but then I explained to him my reason why. There’s no lingering feeling behind it–I really just wanted to get it over with. So, we agreed to meet at a hotel that he booked under a different name. We didn’t know how to start it because we’d been friends for a long time and it did feel kind of weird.

We tried to kiss, but it felt weird… at first. But he was such a good kisser that seconds later, I was already feeling it. His hands knew their way around a woman’s body. He was touching me in all the right places and before I even knew it, I was already naked and writhing under him.

It was great–getting laid was great, no doubt about that. I did have a good time–Levi was a good friend and he took his sweet time to make sure that I’d have a great time. It was so great that we hooked up a couple times more, but that’s all there was to it. We’re good at sex, but we’re even greater as friends.

Then, life happened.

I found other guys I dated and slept with.

It’s all good.

Sex was good and even better was that you can control a guy through sex. It was a… weird power. It was weird how far some guy will go for sex. I would never understand, but that wasn’t a problem. I’d happily use it to my advantage.

‘Brunch,’ I texted Archie. I hated being late because it’s a sign of disrespect. If you commit to coming at a certain time, you better do your part and stop wasting other people’s time.

‘I know.’

‘Pick me up at 9am.’

‘I’m already on my way.’

‘And you’re texting me?’

‘I can do two things at a time. Don’t be surprised, love.’

I rolled my eyes. He knew I hated him calling me love, but he told me that he equally hated me calling him Archie. He said I better make my peace with it. I could already imagine my cousins doubling over in laugher kapag narinig nila na tinatawag ako na love ni Archie.

It was only 7AM and I knew that the reason he’s coming over much earlier than expected was to have sex. We had sex the first time last Sunday and since then, he’d been coming over more frequently. It was hard to say if he’s already beginning to like me or if he’s just blinded by the lust, but either way, he’s getting easier to be with. Hindi kagaya ng dati na kinu-kwestyon niya ang bawat desisyon ko.

“You’re too early,” I said as I opened the door. But I was sure that he was not listening to my words as he was intently staring at what I was wearing. I just finished my morning yoga and I was fresh out of the bath. I was only wearing a white robe that quickly got discarded the moment Archie stepped inside my condo.

“Archie, brunch,” I reminded him as he was busy kissing and licking my neck.

“I know… that’s why I came early,” he replied as he started kneading my breasts.

I stood there and let him kiss me and touch every part of my skin. “I’ll be wearing a squared neck dress,” I told him as I felt him lingering on the side of my neck. I didn’t know if he’s been depraved of sex for a long time, but the first time we did it, I ended up with lots of red marks all over my body. My knees had been bruised, too, that I ended up wearing pants for the whole week, even though I really prefer to be in a dress or a skirt.

“Okay,” he replied as his lips went further south until he was between my legs yet again. I closed my eyes and pulled his hair as I tried to even my breathing. God, this man and his tongue. Archie made me lift my left leg up and rested it against his shoulder. Halos hindi ako maka-hinga sa ginagawa niya sa akin. But even before I could come, he pushed me against the wall, bent me, and place both my hands against it.

“Condom,” I said as I felt his fingers going inside.

“Do I really have to?” he asked as I felt him holding his dick and rubbing it against the skin of my ass. “I’m only fucking you, you know that.”

“Condom,” I insisted. It’s my body and no one will protect it aside from me. I’m going to marry him, but I really didn’t trust him and I have no idea what he does on the side. Until then, he’d have to do with a condom.

So, I was there, my hands against the wall and my ass perched against him. I heard the familiar sound of the wrapper against his teeth and a few seconds later, my lips parted as I felt him stretching me. He held my waist as he began to relentlessly thrusting. I bit my lower lip as I stopped my head from hitting the wall. Thankfully, Archie finally realized that he was giving me a concussion by fucking me from behind against the wall. Agad niya akong binuhat at hinagis sa kama. I almost shrieked when he pulled me by my legs and lifted my legs until they’re at both sides of my head.

“How can I get you pregnant if I’m always using condom?” he asked as he continuously thrusted. I almost lost my shit when I saw him licking his two fingers before he used them to rub my clit. Agad akong napa-kapit sa unan.

“I told you, we’ll hire surrogate,” I replied as I tried to catch my breath.

“How will the public perceive that, Nadia?” he asked as he went faster. “How can we be the perfect family if you can’t even carry my child?”

Oh, fuck.

Why was sex so good?

“I–” I said, but stopped as I chased the high first. I was heaving deeply as I tried to gather myself together, but Archie was still thrusting while he was trying to come. And I fucking came again as he did. Fuck.

Huminga ako nang malalim at saka naupo sa kama. I got the tissue from the nightstand and handed it to him.

“Did you bring extra clothes?” I asked because at this point, his pants were already creased and I was pretty sure that was a shot of his cum on his polo.

“Yeah, of course,” he replied, breathing heavily.

“Let’s go take a shower,” I said. “We can’t be late.”

---

I already saw the cars of my relatives when we pulled up. I looked at Archie. He was wearing a light blue polo shirt, light brown chino pants, dark brown boat shoes, and Patek Philippe watch to complete the look. He’s also got the clean-cut haircut that he’s always wearing. His face was clean shaven. He really did look like a movie star wherein he plays that preppy kid.

“They hate me,” he said.

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“Wow, thanks.”

“At least you won’t be surprised,” I told him as I checked my reflection. I was wearing a light purple sleeveless, square neck top, semi-loose white maong pants, white Oran sandals. I wore dainty diamonds on my ears and my neck. I was not a fan of pants, but I certainly did not need people looking at my knees and imagining the things I let Archie do to me.

I turned my head to look at him. “Remember–you’re marrying me and not them. At most, you’ll just see them once a week, so don’t sweat this.”

“Whatever.”

Lumabas kami ng sasakyan. We walked side by side, not really holding hands because that would be too weird. My family will immediately know that something’s wrong if they see me holding hands with somebody. That’s just not me.

Upon going in, I introduced him first to my cousins, most of whom he already knew or always familiar with, before we went to the sharks. I introduced him to my parents first and as expected, they greeted him politely with a hint of disapproval. But Archie just continued to smile like he didn’t know or he just didn’t care–either way, good for him. He shouldn’t care about my family’s approval–the only approval we need was that of the public’s.

My other uncles and aunties were nice to him, too, but that was just expected.

And finally, my grandparents.

“Abuelo, Abuela, this is Archie,” I said.

I always suspected that there’s some weird shit going on between the two of them. My grandparents, they’re siblings. Abuelo is the de Marco and Abuela’s the one who married and brought the GDL side of the family. But both their spouses were dead–I’d been suspecting foul play… but really, I’d never really know. We’re one huge family and sometimes, it gets confusing. But I was thankful for the GDLs because they balance the evil that surrounded us.

“Archibald Gallego, Mr. President,” he greeted, sounding… honored. Weird. Abuelo’s always been like a house plant for me–he’s just a huge display and it’s always Abuela who’s really controlling the shots. It was Abuela’s idea for Abuelo to run for Vice-Presidency first and then started a huge rumor about the then President that eventually led to him being impeached. That’s why my family has been in power for nearly a decade.

Sometimes, when I did not despise her, I was in awe of her brilliance.

Archie looked like he’s going to kill me when I excused myself. He’s a big guy–he could handle himself.

I was enjoying my food when my cousins started to surround me.

“Nadia, what the fuck,” Psalm said, laughing.

“Jealous, are you?” I replied as I continued to focus on my food.

“Get off her back,” Saint said.

Psalm snorted. “Shut up. You don’t get to have an opinion when Abuela practically laid down a red carpet when you introduced Mary,” he said. I immediately looked at Saint. How could I ever forget?

“Saint,” I called.

“Yeah?”

“Do you care to introduce us to Preston?”

Agad na kumunot ang noo niya. “Huh?”

I smiled at him. “Archie and I–introduce us,” I told him. He still looked a little confused—God bless his innocence. “I mean, we’re practically family,” I continued as I sweetly smiled at him and then looked at Archie who seemed like he’d faint at every given second.

“Okay?” he replied.

“This Saturday. Dinner,” I said.

Natawa siya. “I’ll tell Mary first.”

I smiled. “I’m sure she’ll agree,” I just said as I began to plan on how I’d introduce Archie to Preston Suarez—probably the only person who can make my Abuela hold her horses. 

**

This story is already at Chapter 05 on beeyotch.ph

and patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance if you want to pay via GCASH. As of the moment, credit and debit cards can be used directly when paying in the site :) Thank you!

Chapter 03

Chapter 03

“You’re mad,” he said as soon as we were out of anyone’s earshot.

“Later,” I replied as I gave a smile to the waiter who passed by us.

“Nadia—”

“I said later,” I repeated, cutting him off.

He looked a bit taken aback by what I said. Sure, maybe he thought na pwede na kaming magusap dito dahil wala ng tao… but you’ll never know. You’ll never know kung may nakikinig ba sa ’yo. And if there’s one thing I learned in life is that your words can and will be used against you. Kaya minsan, naniniwala talaga ako na less talk, less mistake. Because words can be twisted, can be interpreted to serve anyone’s interest.

And I am only interested in serving my own interest.

“Stop sulking,” I told Archie when I caught him with his forehead creased.

He scoffed. “So, now I can’t even scoff?”

Tumingin ako sa kanya. “Why are you acting like a child?” I asked him. Hindi siya nagsalita. He stayed silent until the car pulled over in front of us. “Thank you,” I said when he still opened the door for me.

Nang makapasok siya sa loob, I looked at him.

“Now, we can talk,” I said now that we’re in the privacy of the car. Sure, the driver’s here, but he knows he can’t talk about what he hears. Whatever conversation he hears, it’s gone as soon as he leaves the car. Sure, he signed and NDA, but I think he’s more scared with what could happen to him and to his family kung may makalabas sa mga naririnig niya—same with all the people who work for my family. There’s a reason why they’re all well-compensated. They’re not only being paid for the service, but for their silence, as well.

“I don’t want to talk,” he said like a child.

Napailing na lang ako. I wanted to think that I made a mistake by choosing him, but I refuse to think that. He’s just… challenging. And I do love challenges.

“I’m not mad,” I told him. “And seatbelt, please.”

He begrudgingly put on his seatbelt. “Embarrassed, then.”

“You’re the one who said that,” I said.

Saint, bless him, managed to set a dinner for Archie to be introduced to Preston. All Archie needed to do was to show up, smile, shake his hand, and that’s it. But for some reason, it felt like he felt the need to impress him. He kept on doing all this ‘big talk.’ I didn’t know why but it came off as a bit desperate. So, yes, I was embarrassed.

“So, you’re embarrassed,” he said in an accusing manner.

“Why do you think I’m embarrassed?” balik tanong ko sa kanya. “Did you do anything embarrassing for me to be embarrassed?”

Napailing na lang ako nang ipag-krus niya iyong mga braso niya na parang bata.

“You’re the one who told me to be more ‘relatable,’” he said using air quotes.

“I did say that.”

“So, what’s wrong with me talking about soccer?” he asked. “Preston used to play soccer in college.”

“Exactly. In college. He doesn’t play anymore. Had you listened, I would’ve told you that he’s more into collecting vintage cars and investing,” I reminded him na sinabi ko naman talaga sa kanya, but he was more focused on my breasts. Maybe the next time that I would be talking about something important, I should be fully clothed because clearly, Archie couldn’t multitask. It’s like his brain can only handle one thing at a time—or maybe two things at a time.

“But it’s fine. We can work on it,” I said.

Tumingin siya sa akin. “I didn’t mean to embarrassed you.”

Inabot ko iyong kamay niya na nasa lap niya at hinawakan iyon. “You did not,” I said. We’re a team now—whether he likes it or not, we’re a team. If he’s embarrassing himself, he’s embarrassing me. And I would not have that. Mabuti na lang at may sinabi si Saint kanina na dahilan kung bakit doon nagfocus si Preston.

“I don’t believe you, but sure,” he replied as he rested his back against the seat of the car.

The remaining ride was quiet. Nang huminto kami sa harap ng condo niya, he looked at me and invited me to stay over.

“I have a busy day tomorrow,” I replied because I still had a business to run. I care about the business, sure, but I care more about not running my business to the ground. If that happens, I can already imagine the concerned looks (but in reality, judgment) that I’ll receive from my family.

“Okay…” he said in his sad, sad tone.

I watched as he got out of the car. I was about to tell the driver to proceed when I found myself shaking my head and telling my driver to go park first.

“Shut up,” I said when I caught him grinning nang maabutan ko siya. He knew that his sad sigh worked. I didn’t know why it always worked on me. I should really be immune to that at this point dahil lagi niya iyong ginagawa.

He’s almost like a… sad boy with all his sad sighs.

“Okay,” he replied, still with that stupid grin on his face.

Sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa elevator. May mga tumitingin sa amin. I wouldn’t say that I was exactly famous per se, but I am still a part of the de Marco clan. I don’t really appear on headlines much because I prefer to live my life quietly. My cousin, Maven, is quite famous. Look at how well that’s working for him. Masyadong maraming matang nakatingin. That way, even the littlest mistake you make can be noticed.

And I couldn’t afford that.

Not when the end goal is me in Malacañang.

“Can I make an observation?” he said.

“Of course,” I replied.

“Don’t be offended,” he began. “But it almost feels like you have… two face.”

“What do you mean?” I asked habang nakatingin ako sa mabilis na pagakyat ng mga numero sa elevator.

He shrugged as he rested his back against the elevator. “You’re very different in public as to when you’re with family and friends. And I’m just mentioning because the difference is huge.”

“Why will I be offended with that?”

“Because you can be kind of a bitch in private. In public? You almost look… kind,” he replied with a small shiver.

Finally, we reached his floor.

“Archie, when will you get in your head that in politics, perception is everything?” I asked as we began to walk towards his unit. “Those people will only see me once in their life—probably. How I interact with them in that one time will be their image of me for the rest of their lives,” I continued.

Nakakunot ang noo niya. “What?”

I shook my head. This poor boy. He really has a lot to learn. Hindi ko alam kung paano niya nagawang manalo as city councilor kung ganito siya.

“Say God forbid I get into a scandal one day,” I began, “Those people who I treated nicely once will tell the people they know that ‘she’s not like that. She’s nice. I met her.’ Even when most probably, the rumor’s true because you know what they say? When there’s smoke, there’s probably fire somewhere.”

He stopped walking.

I stopped walking.

“What?” tanong ko dahil nakatingin siya sa akin.

“Your mind…” he said. “It’s scary sometimes how your mind works.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Are you scared?” I asked.

Slowly, he shook his head. “Scarily enough? No,” he replied as he took a step until he was standing right in front of me. He held my waist with his hands. I felt his thumbs caressing the side of my waist. “I’m actually a bit turned on.”

He leaned down and tried to kiss me pero mabilis akong umiwas.

“I told you, no PDA,” I said as his lips landed on my neck.

He groaned. “Come on. They know we’re dating. So, what if we kiss?” he asked as I felt his neck on the skin of my lips.

“Your unit is literally a few steps away.”

“You didn’t answer the question,” he whispered against my ear.

“I’ll answer it when we’re inside.” He put his hand on my ass. “Archie,” I said in a clipped tone.

“What if I want to fuck you in a parked car? Is that not allowed?”

“What’s so wrong with a bed?”

Sometimes, he could be very frustrating.

Sometimes, I do think he’s dumb.

But if there’s one thing he’s actually good at? It’s sex.

Oh, the things he could do with that tongue of his—if only he could use that tongue to talk sense and not just to lick me senseless.

“Doing it in a place where you’re not supposed to have sex is hot,” he whispered as he bit my neck.

I drew a deep breath and pushed him away with as much strength as I had. I was starting to feel hot with how his hands were touching my body and how he was licking my neck and how he was whisering in my ears.

“You’re gonna be a president one day,” I said as my hands were against his check and as I was looking him in his eyes. “Whenever you wanna do anything, think about this—if this ever goes out, will people still vote for me?”

His lips parted. “I don’t wanna live like that.”

“Learn how to live like that,” I replied as I straightened my clothes.

“That doesn’t sound like fun.”

Inayos ko iyong collar niya. “You can have fun when you’re the president,” I said as I stared into his eyes. “But for now, behave. Always think that someone’s watching you.”

“Is that how you live?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Wow.”

“It gets easier,” I told him.

“How?”

“It’s because I know why I’m doing what I’m doing,” I said. “Eyes on the prize always, Archie,” I continued as I gently tapped his cheeks.

I’m pretty sure that from the moment I brought him home and introduced him, they knew that I was planning something… and anything and everything that we’ll do can and will be used against us.

I know so.

Because that’s how my family got to where we are now. 

**

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Chapter 04

Chapter 04

After confirming with Archie that he’s at work, I prepared to leave my office to go see him. We needed to go shopping. Normally, I’d rather leave this to a professional shopper, but I knew that I needed to bond with Archie some more. Sure, sex with him was great, but I needed him to be more attached to me. I knew that the more attached he was, the easier it would be for me to make him do my biddings.

Sure, sometimes, I like arguing with him, but it’s a waste of energy. We could be doing something else than argue. I was reminded of this when I was out with Maven and I saw how teenagers reacted to seeing him. He’s lucky he’s a good looking guy. These hormonal teens will let him get away with anything. And these hormonal teens will become voting adults who will most likely vote for him, too.

So, no.

The fight’s not fair.

I knew that even if I try, I can never beat Maven in any election. Are you kidding me? He’s literally the golden boy—at least that’s what the public thinks of him. He’s good looking, he’s a literal genius, and as far as they’re concerned, he keeps himself out of trouble. They will literally vote for him first kahit na gaano ko pa patunayan ang sarili ko na mas magaling ako.

That’s life.

And instead of fighting it, I’d just work around it.

Hence, Archie.

He’s also good looking. He can be smart at times. He just needed to behave now. It’ll be fine. We have time. He just needed to listen to me dahil alam ko ang ginagawa ko.

“Good morning,” bati ko sa mga tao sa city hall.

“Good morning, Ma’am,” sagot nila.

“Just Nadia,” I replied with a small smile.

She smiled at me. “Ay nakakahiya naman po…”

I just smiled. “Si Archie?” I asked.

“Nasa office niya po, Ma—” she paused and took a deep breath. “Nadia.”

“Salamat,” I replied.

I was fluent in Filipino, but I prefer to talk in English—or maybe depending on who I was talking to. I usually reserve my Filipino skills when I’m talking with the masses. They appreciate it kapag kinakausap sila ng Tagalog. Still, English is considered as the language of the elite… which was honestly a bit weird for me dahil nakakaintindi naman halos lahat dito sa Pilipinas ng Ingles.

Ngumiti ako sa lahat ng nakakasalubong ko. Dati, sumasakit pa iyong mukha ko sa dami ng ngiting binibigay ko. Now, I was already used to it. Kaya kapag puro reklamo si Archie, lagi ko lang sinasabi na masasanay din siya. Because I’d been there.

I gave his door three knocks and paused for five seconds. I learned knocking the hard way. Once, I opened the door to my dad’s office and saw some woman spread wide eagle on his table while my dad’s head was in between her legs. That was a terrible view. Since then, I learned to knock to give them warning that someone’s outside. The five second pause is for them to get dressed. I didn’t want to see anyone naked.

“Why didn’t you just go in?” Archie asked nang buksan niya iyong pinto at makita niya na nakatayo lang ako roon.

“It’s your break already, right?” I asked instead.

He nodded. “Why?”

“We’re going shopping.”

“Now?”

I nodded. “You got any other plans?”

“Well, no, not really,” he said. “Being a councilor’s boring. You’re basically just a yes guy to whatever the mayor wants,” he continued as he got his things.

“Right, but never say that in public.”

He scoffed. “I won’t,” he replied. “Magaling magtanim ng sama ng loob ’yung mayor dito.”

Tahimik lang kaming naglakad palabas hanggang sa makarating kami sa sasakyan. Then Archie began his rant about the mayor. I just quietly listened to him. It’s always better to listen because sometimes, people do slip up. And people can reveal their fears and weaknesses. Always something you can exploit.

“Election’s coming up,” I told him.

“I know.”

“We have to announce the engagement first and then your bid for the mayoral election.”

“Is there a reason why?” he asked. “Kung bakit kailangan may announcement muna ng engagement?”

I nodded as I crossed my legs. “So that people will know,” I said. “You should know by now that name recall is very important in politics. That’s why artists win over those who really know the law. Because as horrible as it sounds, a lot of people will vote who’s familiar. Kaya nga tadtad ng posters at jingles kapag election. Because you need to be etched in people’s mind.”

I felt him staring at me.

“You thought about this a lot,” he said.

“I did. Didn’t you?” I asked.

“I did… but apparently not as much as you.”

“Well, you do want to become the president, right?”

He nodded. “Every politician’s wet dream,” he replied.

“As you said, I’d thought about this a lot. So, if you’re smart, you’ll let me take the lead.”

Tumango siyang muli. “Why didn’t you consider just running yourself?”

I just smiled at him. We’re already at the mall and I didn’t have time to discuss how we’re already in the 21st century but misogyny is still prevalent. How I’m a woman and because of that, I’m not capable of running a country—only running the kitchen because that’s where I belong.

“Just polo shirts?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied. “Also, I’ll have my assistant ask for your passwords for your social media pages.”

“My social media page?”

“Yes. Don’t you have one?”

“I don’t.”

Napahinto ako sa pagtingin ng mga damit. “Seriously. How did you win the election?” I asked him. “Did you cheat?”

His lips parted. “The hell?”

“Because you look like you have no idea what you’re doing,” I told him as I looked at him. Maybe he did win because of his good looks. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised, really. The bar is in hell with politicians here.

“Anyway,” I said as I brought my attention back to shopping. “Since you don’t have any, I’ll have the campaign manager create one for you.”

“Campaign manager?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Isn’t it too early?”

“No,” I replied. “Campaign started the moment the new mayor was elected.” I gave him the clothes. “Try them on.”

Naupo ako habang sinusukat ni Archie iyong mga damit. I wanted him to look good, but also relatable. It’s a delicate balance. I wanted people to know he’s untouchable, but also that his feet’s on the ground. At least that’s how my Abuela plays her game. People know we’re the de Marcos, but still, for some reason, people think we’re one with them. Please.

“Are you still in contact with your friends?” I asked him habang kumakain kami.

“Friends? Sino sa kanila?”

“The one who can donate funds.”

“What?”

“For the campaign,” I said. “Weren’t you in the same frat as my cousin?”

He nodded. “Won’t your cousin run?”

“I don’t think so,” I replied. “He’ll go straight for the congress. He’s more interested in making laws.”

“Right… But I’ll be in congress, too, right?”

“Yes. That’s the next step,” I said. “Invite your friends for a dinner. Catch up. So that they won’t be surprised when they get invited for our wedding.”

Tumango siya. “We’re really getting married…”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Well, yeah. Did you think I was kidding this whole time?”

Umiling siya. “Not really… but it just feels more real now.”

“How come?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I just… I just never thought that this is how I’ll get married.”

Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya. I wanted to listen. I wanted to know him more. The more I know about him, the easier it’ll be for the both of us.

“I always thought I’ll get married for love,” he said at saka siya nagiwas ng tingin. “No matter how corny that sounded.”

I reached for his hand and held it. “Isn’t that the dream?” sabi ko habang nakatingin nang diretso sa mga mata niya. “Everyone wants to fall in love, Archie. I told you—I’m not opposed to the idea of falling in love. But if it happens, it will happen. Do you get me?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“We still have a few months to fall in love.”

Natawa siya. “You talk about love like it’s a chore.”

I shrugged. “It’s just chemicals in your brain that makes you think that it’s love,” I told him.

Natawa siyang muli habang naiiling. “I’m so curious about how you were raised as a child, Nadia.”

“Raised by nannies,” I said. “How about this? Free your weekend. We’ll go on an out of town trip.”

Kumunot ang noo niya. “For what?”

“To try to fall in love.”

Napaawang ang labi niya. “Are you being for real?”

I nodded. “Yes. Well, how can we fall in love if you only see me for sex and all we talk about is politics, right?” sabi ko sa kanya. “This weekend, I promise no talk about politics. We can just have… fun,” I continued.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had genuine fun. Sure, sometimes I have fun with my cousins, but now, rarely since we all have our own things.

I could have fun with Archie.

“What?” I asked when I saw him holding a laughter.

“Your face,” he replied. “You almost shuddered when you said the word fun like you’re almost allergic to it.”

I shook my head with disapproval. “Just tell me if your weekends are free.”

“Of course it’s free,” he said. “Pero saan tayo pupunta?”

“My family has a resthouse in Tagaytay. It’s cold. We can cuddle or something.”

“Malamig na tapos malamig pa iyong ica-cuddle ko?” he asked. I knew he was joking but I just gave him my usual dead expression. Muli siyang natawa. “Kidding. But yes, Tagaytay sounds great.”

“Okay.”

“May kailangan ba akong dalhin?”

“Change of clothes.”

“Can’t I be naked the whole weekend?”

I shrugged. “Your choice, really, but I prefer you with clothes when we’re not having sex.”

“Why? I’m very proud of my body.”

“You sure are,” I said because whenever I’d come over to his place or him to mine, he likes to walk around naked. I can safely say that I can pick out his ass if there’s a police line-up. Already very familiar with that ass.

“You have a very nice body, too,” he replied.

“Thank you,” I said, “But I’d rather be complimented for my brain.”

Napailing siya. “Of course, but sometimes, I do think you’re a psycho. I did tell you that.”

“You did,” sabi ko sa kanya. “So, be very careful never to cross me. You have no idea about what I can do.”

He smiled at me. “I promise I won’t,” he replied as he reached for my hand and held it. “Let’s go back to my office,” he continued as he caressed my knuckles with his thumb. “I’ll bend you over before I go back to my boring job,” he added before we stood up and left.  

**

This story is already at Chapter 07 on beeyotch.ph

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Chapter 05

Chapter 05

I was in the middle of choosing which clothes I’ll bring with me to Tagaytay when I received a call. That was strange.

“What’s up?” Addie said as she answered the call.

“I’m being summoned.”

“By Abuela?”

“Yes. Who else can summon me?”

I wouldn’t say that I’m a bitch because that sounds so horrible. Ewan ko. I just have that ‘vibes,’ I guess. I mean, kahit si Archie ay minsan sinasabihan ako na psychopath. Why? Just because I’m not warm and cuddly? Please.

“Because of your boy toy?” Addie asked.

“He’s not my boy toy.”

“I’m sorry. Because of your latest project?”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s not.”

I heard her laughing. “Oh, please. You can be honest with me.”

“He’s really not my latest project,” I answered because Archie’s my only project. This is a long game. I intend to invest a lot in him kaya una pa lang ay sinabi ko na sa kanya iyong mga expectations ko. I just wanted to lay all my cards on the table para alam niya. At para na rin wala akong maririnig in the future na niloko ko siya o kung anuman because if any, I had been nothing but honest with him.

“Sure…” she said. Kahit wala siya sa harap ko ay naiimagine ko na iyong marahan na pagtango ng ulo niya.

“We’re actually going to the Tagaytay rest house this weekend,” I said.

“Why?”

“To bond.”

“To bond?” she asked with such shudder in her voice.

“Yes, to bond with my future husband, Addie,” I said and explained to her that it’s better this way. If possible, I wanted Archie to be one of those guys who would do anything for the woman that they love. It’s possible. I’d seen it. I mean, at the top of my head, I could give my cousins as prime examples.

“Do whatever you want,” Addie said.

“That’s what I want to hear.”

“But why do you think you’re being summoned?”

“No idea as to why exactly, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with Archie.”

“She’s not a fan.”

“Obviously.”

“You saw how she died a little when you brought him over.”

I chuckled. “I know. I wanted to frame that exact moment and display it over my living room,” I said as I made my final turn bago ako nakarating sa destinasyon ko. “I’m here.”

“Good luck.”

“Don’t need it,” I replied as I watched the gates being opened for me.

Of course I was told to meet Abuela at the office. That’s where I almost exclusively talk with her—hindi kagaya ng ibang mga pinsan ko na nakakausap nila siya at times about random things. Ako? Not really. I think I was in high school when I formed the conclusion in my head that my Abuela hates me. She just treats me differently. I could feel it. Kahit pa sabihin nila Addie na nasa isip ko lang iyon, I knew that there’s something different about the way she treats me. It made me so curious that I began to watch her every move every time I’d get the chance to. Kaya siguro alam ko na bawat galaw niya. She pushed me to be like this. The more she pushed me away, the more I got to know her. It’s ironic.

“Good afternoon,” I said after I knocked on the door and opened it.

“Good afternoon,” she replied with that icy tone of hers na naririnig ko lang kapag kami ang magkausap. “Have a seat.”

I did as I was told. It was eerie na kahit hindi naman siya nakatingin sa akin ay ramdam ko pa rin na pinapanood niya ang bawat paggalaw ko.

I wanted to ask her kung bakit niya ako pinatawag dito, but I knew better. I should just wait dahil sigurado naman ako na sasabihin niya rin sa akin kung bakit ako nandito. That’s the better option than the alternative na baka may masabi pa ako na hindi niya naman pa alam.

You don’t always have to show your deck of cards—that’s one of the things I learned from her. Always keep your enemies on their toes.

“That boyfriend of yours,” she began.

“Archie,” I corrected her because although to be completely honest, I don’t fully respect Archie. I believe that respect is something to be earned. Wala pa siyang ginagawa na kaya kong irespeto, but I was sure that we’ll get there. Pero hindi naman alam ni Abuela ’yon. At least in front of her, I would not tolerate disrespect towards my future husband. We needed to show a united front.

“Archie,” she said with such a sneer on her face. “He’s running for mayor?”

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ko.

First mistake.

I saw the slight delight on her face.

“Don’t be surprised, hija,” she said. “That’s the logical step for him—at least politically speaking,” she continued. “That… and being associated with us.”

“He’s marrying me, “ I replied although kahit sa isip ko, I sounded ridiculous at best.

“Sure, sure,” she said as she waived her hand like she’s just letting me get away with my own lie. “What are your plans so far?”

“Plans?”

“For him to win,” she said. “If he’s gonna be associated with us, he definitely should win a local election. I wouldn’t be embarrassed like that, Nadia.”

I forced a smile. “Thank you for the vote of confidence, Abuela.”

She gave me a stern look. “Bring him to the party this weekend,” she said. “Introduce him to our family friends,” she continued, pertaining to the people who ‘support’ our family during campaign period and in turn, they win the biddings for the government projects. It was never a ‘donation.’ Donation means expecting nothing in return. The money given was more like a loan… with usurious interest. A lot of this people earned ridiculous money once the people they supported got elected.

I mean, that’s life.

Never really fair.

And if you think life’s fair, I want to have whatever you’re having.

“Thank you for the invite, but sadly, we already have plans this weekend,” sabi ko. “We’re going to be using the rest house in Tagaytay.”

I stood up and smiled at her.

“I really appreciate the invite for Archie, Abuela, but we’re gonna be fine,” I said.

She looked at me that almost felt like a warning. “If that’s the case…”

Ngumiti ako bago nagpaalam.

Now, I really needed Archie’s frat buddies to come fucking through.

---

“Hey,” Archie said as he kissed my cheek.

“Hey,” I replied. “Have you talked to your friends?”

“What?” he asked with his forehead creased.

“I know I said no politics—”

He dramatically rested his head against the headrest of his seat. “But?”

“I just need to know,” I replied. Tumingin ako sa kanya mula sa rearview mirror. “Fine,” I said dahil kita ko iyong inis sa mukha niya. This weekend lang naman. Pagbalik na pagbalik namin sa Manila, kailangan ko nang simulan ang plano namin. I needed to find a social media manager for his pages and start to get him more acquainted with the people in his place.

“Do you want to go drive thru?” I asked dahil tahimik lang siya at nakatingin sa labas. “You’re seriously gonna ignore me?”

“I’m not ignoring you.”

“Sure.”

“You said no politics this weekend.”

“I know,” I said, sighing. “I’m sorry.”

Hindi pa rin siya nagsalita.

“Abuela just called me. That got my head wrapped up around politics again. I apologize. I won’t speak about it again this weekend.”

Tumingin siya sa akin. It was like he was gaging if I were being honest. I was. Hindi ko naman kailangang magsinungaling kay Archie palagi. He’ll be my husband. It won’t be possible for me to lie to him all the time. Besides, he’ll be my partner in crime. He needed to know some things about me.

“Fine…”

“So, do you want to get coffee?”

“Yeah,” sabi niya. “And I’ll drive.”

“Okay,” I replied because I’d rather be a passenger. Hindi ako nagdala ng driver para naman maramdaman ni Archie na kaming dalawa lang kahit na ang totoo, maraming nakasunod sa amin. I was already used to it to the point na minsan, hindi ko na ramdam na nakasunod sila. I wonder kung napapansin kaya sila ni Archie?

He ordered his iced latte while I got my Americano. He played some song on the radio while we were on the way.

“What? You feel weird?” tanong niya nang ipatong niya sa binti ko iyong kamay niya.

“No,” I replied as I felt him caressing my leg and even squeezing it. “What—” sabi ko nang maramdaman ko iyong kamay niya na gumagapang papunta sa gitna ng mga hita ko.

“I’m driving,” he said.

“Amongst other things,” I said habang pinipigilan ko iyong kamay niya.

“Come on…”

“No.”

“Just wanna see if you’re wet.”

My lips parted for a moment. “It’s just sex 24/7 in that mind of yours, isn’t it?”

He chuckled. “Overestimate,” he replied. “I think about it like 70% of the time, if I were being completely honest,” he continued. “Besides, can you blame me? Sex with you is mindblowing.”

I remained silent.

I hated that I felt my cheeks reddening.

“But then again, why was I even surprised? Best sex is always with the crazies.”

I arched my brow. “So, you had sex with lots of crazies?”

He shrugged. “When I was younger.”

“Like in your teens?”

“Like college and law school.”

“Not anymore?”

“Not until you,” he said and then threw me a look and a grin. I gave him a deadpan look. He chuckled. “Just that one of my friends used to date this crazy girl. Sex was insane, of course, but the aftermath is as insane.”

“What do you mean?” tanong ko sa kanya.

In my experience, generally, guys like talking about themselves. Just ask them questions tungkol sa sarili nila. Make them feel important, make them feel good. That’s generally a way to make them like you.

“She’ll scratch him, throw things at him, threaten him. You know? The usual crazy stuff.”

“But he still did go back to her?”

He nodded. “Told you, the sex was insane.”

“All that for a good sex?”

“Great sex,” he corrected me. “Besides, he knew he’s never going to marry her. She’s more like a placeholder who’s great with sex until the right one comes along.”

“And what happened? Did the right one come along?”

He nodded. “Yeah, she did… And my friend’s the one who went all crazy for her. Circle of life, you know?”

“You think you’ll get your circle of life?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“You’re not opposed to it?”

“Not really,” he said. “I mean, I know my friend. He’s really you know? In love. And to be completely honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever fall in love in this lifetime. So if it means I’ll fall in love but I’ll have to go crazy? It’s fine, I guess.”

“You wanna fall in love?”

“Yeah. Who doesn’t?”

‘Me,’ I thought to myself.

Not if I can help it, anyway.

Love’s a weakness—at least that’s how I see it based on the people around me.

“You don’t wanna fall in love?” Archie asked me again.

Tumingin ako sa kanya. If I tell him I want to, he’d be able to call my bluff.

“Not my first choice, not if I can help it,” I replied. “But if it happens, it happens—if that makes sense.”

Tumango siya. “It’ll happen,” he said. “You got a heart hiding inside that ice cold chest of yours.”

**

This story is already at Chapter 08 on beeyotch.ph

and patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance if you want to pay via GCASH. As of the moment, credit and debit cards can be used directly when paying in the site :) Thank you!

Chapter 06

Chapter 06

“Why are we here?” tanong ko nang bigla siyang huminto sa harap ng isang grocery store.

“To buy food.”

“Why?” I asked, a bit confused. Nagsabi ako na pupunta kami. The place was stocked with food. We just needed to reheat them. We could also always call the on-call chef.

“Para hindi tayo magutom?”

“Do you think of me as a bad host?” I asked. “Of course there’s food there. I even told them to prepare your favorite meal,” I said as I explained to him na naka-handa na lahat ng pagkain namin doon. The wine cellar was even restocked dahil halos maubos iyong laman nun nung huling pumunta rito iyong mga pinsan ko. If ever there come a time na kukunin ng gobyerno ang ari-arian namin, siguro iyong Tagaytay rest house iyong pinaka-huling ibibigay namin. It just held a lot of memory for us. It’s easy to go there, so whatever minor inconvenience we feel, that’s our go-to place.

It just felt like us.

“Oh.”

There was a look of disappointment on his face.

“Why?” I asked. This was the last kind of reaction I expected from him. I thought he’d be delighted since we’d have more time for the… fun things.

“Nothing,” he said, shrugging, as he started the engine again.

“What?” I asked again. “Come on. Tell me,” I urged him. “How will we fall in love if you won’t tell me things?”

Umirap siya. “Stop telling me that we’ll fall in love. Makes it feel ingenuine.”

Umirap ako pabalik. “Fine,” I said because I didn’t want to argue about this. I was already feeling hungry. “But why do you look upset na may nakahanda ng pagkain?”

He shrugged. “Just thought cooking would be a nice bonding for the two of us,” sabi niya.

“Really…” I said, looking at him. “Do you look cooking?”

“Sometimes,” he replied. “It’s a nice way to destress.”

“Are you a good cook?” muling tanong ko sa kanya. Sure, sometimes naaabutan ko siya na nagluluto sa condo niya, but I never really tried whatever he was cooking. At first, he never really offered (which was rude of him) and then later on, tapos na akong kumain kapag pupunta ako sa condo niya, so I’d refuse (which was rude of me).

Together, we’re just two rude people.

“I try,” he replied.

“Fine,” I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

“San ka pupunta?”

“Grocery.”

“Akala ko may pagkain na don?”

“Yeah, but let’s just buy food. We’ll cook later or whatever,” I said and then I saw his reflection on the rearview mirror. Napairap na lang ako nang makita ko siyang naka-ngisi.

He’s annoying, sure, but he’s also annoyingly easy to please.

We got inside and it looked like he knew what he was doing. He grabbed a basket tapos ay lumingon siya sa akin.

“What?” I asked.

“Hand.”

“What?” I asked again, my forehead creased.

Instead of answering, lumapit siya sa akin at inabot iyong kamay ko at hinawakan. Bahagyang nanlaki iyong mga mata ko sa pagkagulat sa ginawa niya. He’s being very weird today.

“What? Is it wrong to hold my girlfriend’s hand?”

Umirap ako. “No,” I replied, “But we don’t have to hold hands.”

“Why not? Feels good,” he said as he intertwined our fingers together and then began to walk.

“Just not really a big fan of PDA.”

“You’re the one who said that we needed to prove people that we’re together.”

“We are together, Archie.”

“I know but I’m a pretty passionate guy.”

Umirap ako. “Yeah, I’m aware.”

Humalakhak siya. “It’s just hand holding, love.”

“We’re not teens.”

“I can’t imagine you as a teen. You must’ve been a nightmare,” he said as we stopped in front of the pasta section. “You eat pasta, right?”

“Yes.”

“Any preference?”

I shrugged. “As long as it’s good,” I replied. “Do your specialty.”

“Alright,” he said with smile that almost looked genuine. It’s good that he’s having fun. I mean, at least one of us should have fun. I’d have fun, but I was pretty sure that my idea of fun differs from his.

“Tell me stories when you were a teen,” he said. “Did you get in a lot of trouble?”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Just what kind of teen do you think I was?”

“Troubled.”

My lips parted. “I was not,” I said. “My cousins did stir trouble. If any, I was just the audience.”

He arched a brow. “You narced on them, did you?”

“I did not,” I said.

Humalakhak siya. “You little tattletale.”

“I did not,” I repeated, glaring at him. “I just wasn’t interested in their usual idea of fun.”

“Alright… Pero sumasama ka pa rin?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “Why not? They’re my cousins,” I replied. It wasn’t as if I had choice. I couldn’t be friends with other people, really. In my mind, there’s always the lingering thought na kaibigan lang nila ako dahil may kailangan sila sa akin. I didn’t need that in my life. I still kept them because I never knew when I’ll need them, but they’re always within arm’s reach.

“So, you never got into any trouble as a teen?”

“Not really,” I said. “If I did, everyone in our family knows na nadamay lang ako. I never really was the instigator.”

“You never got grounded?”

“No,” I said. “And my mom knows that if she did that, it’ll be just another day for me.”

Natawa siya. “So, what kind of ‘punishment’ did you get?”

“Going to church.”

“Really?”

I nodded. “Yeah… You do know that the biggest hypocrites are the ones who always frequent the church,” I told him. They’re the ‘do as I say, not as I do’ kind.“

“I know that,” he replied, “That’s why I don’t trust overly religious people.”

Napatingin ako sa kanya. “That’s one thing we have in common then.”

Napa-ngisi siya. “What? Our common distrust of religious people?”

I nodded. “One of the strongest bonds is the mutual hate of someone or something.”

“Such a negative way to bond.”

I shrugged. “I’ll take it.”

“We also love having sex with each other.”

Napairap ako. “A conversation won’t end without you making it sexual, will it?”

Muli siyang humalakhak.

---

Archie brought ingredients for his pasta, steak, salad, and mashed potato. Ang dami niyang lulutuin para sa aming dalawa, but I didn’t want to tell him that. He looked like he had genuine fun habang nasa grocery kami, so I just let him buy whatever he wanted to buy.

“Nice place,” he commented nang dumating kami sa may rest house.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Sa family niyo ’to?”

“Yes,” I replied. “Just put it there,” muli kong sabi habang nakaturo sa may island sa may kitchen.

Kapag nandito kami, we usually just drink wine or sometimes kapag nasa mood iyong mga pinsan ko, they’ll do barbeque or something. I couldn’t remember them really utilizing the kitchen. Well, at least magagamit na siya ngayon.

I went to grab myself a bottle of water.

“You weren’t kidding when you said that the place is stocked,” he commented when he saw the inside of the fridge.

“Why would I kid about that?” I asked. “What a weird thing to kid about.”

Humalakhak siya. He’s having a lot of fun today.

Nakatayo lang ako roon at umiinom ng tubig nang bigla kong maramdaman iyong mga braso niya sa bewang ko. I felt him kissing the side of my neck.

“Later,” I said. “I wanna shower first.”

“Shower together?”

“No,” I replied. “Tonight, maybe.”

“Why not?”

“Just wanna shower alone.”

He used his hand to hiked up my dress and began to caress and then squeeze my thigh. “Alright,” he said. “What do you wanna eat now? I’ll make the steak tonight for dinner.”

“Whatever that’s easy to make. I’m already hungry.”

“Alright, love,” he replied as he kissed my cheek. “Go take a shower,” sabi niya tapos ay nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang bigla niyang paluin iyong pwet ko.

“Archie!” I said in horror.

“What? Can’t help it.”

“God,” I said. “At least never do it in public.”

He laughed. “I know,” he said. “I wouldn’t dare. Not even in my wildest dream.”

I straightened the imaginary crease on my dress. “Good.”

“I know how much you care about your imagine,” he said. “I wouldn’t dare do anything to mess that up.”

I gave him a slow nod. “That’s good to hear,” I replied. “And it’s not just about me,” I continued as I bridged the distance between us. I placed my hands on his shoulder and fixed his collar. He already began wearing his polo shirts. He looked so… relatable. Like a good guy who you can trust with your vote. I wondered how he’d look with glasses. I should make him try wearing one.

“We’re a team,” he said.

I nodded. “That’s right. We are,” I replied as I tiptoed and placed a kiss on the side of his lips. “I hope the food’s ready when I get out of the shower. I’m hungry,” I continued before I left him and walked towards the room.

---

I didn’t take as long as I normally would. When my hair was half-dry, I went out of the room. I just wore my black negligee. Kitang-kita ko iyong pag-awang ng labi ni Archie nang mapatingin siya sa gawi ko.

“What?” I asked because his reaction was funny. He’d seen me naked, but for some reason, I felt more naked now dahil sa paraan ng pagtingin niya sa akin.

Instead of speaking, ibinaba niya iyong hawak niya at naglakad palapit sa akin. Muli ay inilagay niya iyong mga kamay niya sa magkabilang bewang ko.

“Are you really hungry?” he asked while his thumbs were tracing patterns against my skin. I could feel his touch kahit na may suot pa akong damit.

“Yes,” I replied as I breathed deeply nang maramdaman ko iyong labi niya sa may leeg ko.

“Okay,” he breathed against my skin.

“Let go, then.”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder.”

I felt him laughing. “Okay…”

We stood there for a whole minute that almost felt like forever dahil gutom na talaga ako.

“Okay, that’s it,” I said as I pushed him away. “What did you cook?” tanong ko dahil kanina ko pa naaamoy iyong niluto niya.

“Tomato pasta,” he replied habang sumisilip ako.

“Naluto mo ’yan habang naliligo ako?” I asked because I couldn’t have been gone for more than 30 minutes.

He nodded. “Yeah. It’s quick to make,” he replied. “Go sit down.”

Naupo ako sa stool sa may island. Naglagay siya ng plato sa harapan ko. It actually looked really good… o baka naman gutom na lang ako?

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome,” he replied with a smile on his face. “Hope it tastes good.”

I began to eat. I ignored him watching me dahil gutom na talaga ako. Nakatingin lang siya sa bawat galaw ko. Nang maubos ko iyong unang subo ko ay tumingin ako sa kanya.

“What? Was it good?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Really? You’re not lying?”

“When did I ever lie to you?”

Napahinto siya. “That’s right… You’re honest even when it’s borderline rude.”

Bahagya akong umirap at saka tumayo at kumuha ng glass ng wine. “Do you want some?” I asked.

“You’ll drink wine now?”

I shrugged. “Why not?”

“Okay,” he said.

I went to the cellar and grabbed a bottle of wine. We ate the pasta and had wine. Nang matapos kami ay lumipat kami sa couch. I sat down while he laid his head on my thighs. His eyes were closed. He’s probably tired from the driving or the cooking or just a bit sleepy from the wine.

“I have a question,” I said.

“Shoot.”

“Remember the meeting with Preston?” I asked and I felt him tensing. “Just want to know why you acted so weird around him. Have you met him before? Did you owe him money?” dugtong na tanong ko dahil ang weird niya talaga.

I felt him sighing.

I waited for his response.

“I guess it’s just a habit? Or something like that.”

“A habit? To make an ass of yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“Why would you do that?”

Muli siyang natahimik.

I looked at his face. He looked like a baby when he’s like this. He looked so harmless, so serene.

“That’s just how I saw my dad,” sabi niya. I remained silent. “I wasn’t born rich, you know?”

“I know,” I replied. He’s the typical rags to riches—one of the reasons why I chose him. It’s such a relatable story.

“My dad had to do favors for different people. It’s annoying to watch. I used to look up to him, but then I saw how these rich people treated him. Slowly, I lost respect for him. It’s just… degrading, you know? The things he’ll do, the words he’ll accept from them. It’s just horrible…

“But then I went to college… and then law school… I guess reality was shoved right at my face,” he continued. “I thought our family’s fine. At one point, I actually thought we’re rich, you know?” sabi niya at saka natawa. “But try being a millionaire surrounded by literal billionaires and people so powerful you can literally disappear without a trace if you manage to piss them off. I felt so fucking poor and powerless.”

I reached for his hair and slowly ran my fingers through them.

He’s so… broken.

And jealous.

And bitter.

“I was so bitter about that for years… until one day, I decided there’s nothing I can do. I figured that if I can’t fight it, then at least I should join it,” sabi niya.

“Is that why you joined the frat?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“So, you don’t really like the people there?”

“Depends on the day,” he said. “Sometimes they’re fun to be around; oftentimes, they’re not. It’s just that these people are so incredibly privileged that privilege is what’s normal for them.”

Napahinto siya at napadilat ang mga mata.

“You won’t understand—you’re one of them.”

“Perhaps,” I said, slowly nodding, “But one day, you’ll be one of us, too. You’ll be the one of the people you despised and isn’t that nice?” I continued as I gave him a small smile. 

**

This story is already at Chapter 07 on beeyotch.ph

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Chapter 07

Chapter 07

“This is so weird,” Archie said while he was ‘stalking’ his Facebook page. We were out having lunch. I figured it’s a good thing to make this a regular thing. It’s like hitting two birds with one stone—I get to eat and bond with him. “This doesn’t even sound like me.”

“Well, learn how to sound like that,” sagot ko sa kanya.

We hired a team to manage his social media pages. I also just approved the activity calendar. The page will be conducting some games and give prizes, of course, sa mga mananalo.

“Is this necessary?” he asked tapos ay pinakita sa akin iyong post regarding sa schedule nung game.

“Why not?”

“Just feels a bit forced,” he replied. “Like I’m buying their approval.”

“That’s exactly what we’re doing,” sagot ko sa kanya.

How he managed to win the previous election will forever confuse me… Kapag ganito na parang litung-lito siya sa mga gusto kong gawin at sa mga gusto kong mangyari…

“Speaking of which,” I continued. “Naka-ayos na ba iyong isusuot mo?”

“Para sa?”

“Party this Friday.”

“Oh… Right.”

“Did you forget?”

“Not really,” he said.

“Okay.”

“Just not excited is all.”

“You don’t need to be excited,” I told him. “It’s just work. Treat it as any other work that you do.”

Did he think that I actually enjoy going to parties and attending functions? Of course not. It’s not fun to pretend to enjoy talking to probably some of the most boring and self-absorbed people I’d met in my entire life. But I still do it. Because I see it for what it was—an investment. It’s a fucking long game and I always keep myself in check to make sure that I was playing it good.

“I know,” he replied with a shrug. “I haven’t seen some of these guys in a long time.”

“Good idea to catch up, then.”

“Yeah…” he said using that sad tone of his.

“Just give them your best smile and we can talk shit about them in private,” sabi ko sa kanya. Napatingin siya sa akin at napaawang ang labi. Tapos ay napangisi siya. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said as he slowly shook his head. “You really are my partner in crime.”

I gave him a smile.

Archie continued to stalk his page. I’d see him cringe and frown oftentimes. I let him do it. Masasanay din siya. Did he seriously think that the politicians he sees on TV? The one who wins national elections actually really do care? Maybe some of them does… Most of them? It’s just a big farce. Kasi paano sila mananalo kung hindi nila lalambingin iyong mga tao? You have to give what the majority wants. Tapos kapag nakuha mo na iyong gusto mo, then you can step back a little. Tapos gawin mo na lang ulit kapag malapit na ang election.

It’s just a cycle.

Predictable.

“What is this?” tanong niya sabay pakita sa akin nung screen ng phone niya.

“What?” I asked nang makita ko na isang post iyong regarding some raffle.

“This.”

“Yes, what about it?”

“I’m giving away money?”

“Yes,” I replied. “We’re running for mayor. It’s still a local election, Archie. You need to be more personable with the people who will vote for you. When we’re running for congress, we won’t have the need to do this as much… I think. We’ll have to check again the political climate once the time comes.”

Nakakunot ang noo niya.

“Seems excessive.”

“Not really.”

“Why can’t I just do normal campaign? Do door to door campaign?”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

How naive.

I held his hand and looked him in the eyes. “Of course, we’ll do that,” I told him. “And then just let the social media team do their job.”

Nakatingin lang siya sa akin.

I subtly took a deep breath.

“Archie, almost everyone has social media nowadays,” paliwanag ko sa kanya. “It’s a whole new playing field.”

“I know but—”

“But what? I thought we’re partners in crime? Do you think I’ll be pushing for this if I didn’t think that it’ll help us win?” I asked him.

In one of the functions I attended, I talked to someone who was so passionate about social media as the new key player in politics. I was just trying to be polite at first, but I did realize that he made a lot of sense.

And then I read more about it and I became more intrigued. I got really interested with how Cambridge Analytica works, but I didn’t think it’s needed at this point. I mean, Archie’s family background is not ideal, but not to the point that I needed to bring in the big guns. Besides, I couldn’t afford CA’s service. If I did, I’d probably have to sell one of the Philippine’s islands to China or something.

He sighed. “Yeah, okay…” sagot niya. “Pero lalabas ba ako d’yan sa page na ’yan? Ayokong mag-Facebook live,” he continued, looking really worried.

Bahagya akong natawa. “I’m not sure,” I said. “I’ll have to ask the team.”

He groaned. “Kailangan talaga?”

“Not sure. But if it’s needed, you have to do it,” I replied. “Remember, it’s just any other job.”

Tumingin siya sa akin. “Fine,” he replied in a dragging tone. “But if I do it, you’ll have to appear with me.

Kumunot ang noo ko. “What?”

“We’re a team, remember?” he asked, squeezing my hand. “And you said we’ll announce the engagement before the start of the campaign period. So, what’s wrong if my fiancée makes an appearance in my… Facebook live,” he said with such shudder.

I saw him fighting a laughter nang makita niyang ipilit ko ang pagtango at pagngiti. He looked so delighted with himself.

---

The next days, hindi ko masyadong nakita si Archie. I still had a business to run and he had people to serve… kind of. I did ask him if he enjoyed being a councilor. He said he did, but it’s a very limiting job because of the limited power. I took that as a positive sign na mas magiging madali na iyong mga susunod na araw. I just had to constantly remind him na kapag naging mayor na siya, he’d have to answer to no one—at least in the city.

But one step at a time.

One day, we’ll be ruling over the country.

“Wow…” sabi niya nang makita niya ako.

I was wearing a simple black evening gown, black stilettos, and a dainty diamond necklace. I wanted to look nice, but I didn’t want to catch too much attention. Too much eyes means too many people watching your every move. I didn’t need that.

“You look good yourself,” I said as I fixed his tie.

The party was held in a ballroom in a hotel. Mabuti na lang at sakto na ngayon iyong annual reunion ng fraternity nila. We’ll be meeting a lot of people tonight. Archie better be in his best behavior. Sana ay hindi niya na ulitin iyong ginawa niya kay Preston. That was… hard to watch.

“Pupunta ba si Maven?” he suddenly asked.

“No, I don’t think so,” I replied.

“Bakit daw?”

I shrugged. “Who knows?” I asked.

We’re family, sure. I do love him, yes, since we’re family. The kind of love that’s obligated, you know? But when I forget that he’s family, I kind of despise him. He’s handed everything—literally everything… And he always acts like he’s better than everyone else—actually, silang dalawang magkapatid. I mean, if they hated the privilege so much, then stop using it altogether. I find it highly hypocritical when they only hate certain parts of it, but enjoy the other parts that they deem acceptable.

Choose a struggle and stick with it.

“Do you think we’ll get donors?” he asked.

“Of course,” I replied and then looked at him. “Why do you ask?”

He shrugged. “Nothing.”

Nanatili akong nakatingin sa kanya. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I do,” he replied at saka tumingin sa akin. “It’s just that even back in law school, they all pertain to Maven as the future president,” dugtong niya. “I’m pretty certain a lot of the alumni will be pledging to support him.”

“Perhaps,” I said as I held his hand. “But he’s not running as mayor.”

“Because he doesn’t have the need to,” he replied with a scoff. “He can disappear from the face of the earth and then one day declare that he’s runnning for senate and people will still vote for him.”

Bahagya akong natawa. He was not a big fan of my cousin, was he.

“Yes,” I said because there’s no point in sugarcoating things.

“But remember that we still have the time,” sabi ko sa kanya. “We’ll build a good image for you. People will love you. Don’t you trust me?” I asked as I let go of his hand and cupped his face. “Partners in crime, remember?”

Slowly, he nodded.

“Yes,” he breathed.

“Good,” I replied with a small smile. “We’re here,” I said when the car stopped.

“I’m fucking nervous,” he said.

“Language,” I reminded him.

“Sorry,” he replied like a child na napagalitan.

“These are just normal people,” I reminded him. “Just… be normal.”

“Not embarrassing like how I did in front of Preston.”

“Exactly,” I said.

I saw a lot of familiar faces in the event. Karamihan sa kanila ay kilala ako, pero walang ideya sa kung sino si Archie. I introduced him to them as my boyfriend. Would’ve been better if I introduced him as my fiancé, but that’s fine.

“Gallego…” Senator Velasquez said.

Archie gave an uneasy smile.

“Yes, the infamous Gallego scandal,” I quipped as I gave the senator a knowing smile. Please. He knew a thing or two about scandals. Ang pinagkaiba nga lang nila ng pamilya ni Archie, mas magaling si Senator Velasquez maglinis ng kalat ng anak niya.

“Of course,” he replied, knowing what I was pertaining to.

Like him, I knew a thing or two about scandals. I just don’t always talk about them nor use them as blackmail material. I don’t like making enemies if I can help it. The world is too small to be always burning bridges.

“Archie’s actually planning on running this election,” I began. Archie looked visibly uncomfortable, but thankfully, he managed to relax kahit kaunti. It was obvious that he struggled at first, but I managed to guide him. Soon after, he finally caught on.

We talked to a lot of people. A lot of them were easy to talk to because they’d do anything to be in my family’s good graces. I also reminded them that early investment’s always a good idea. They did ask me about Maven, though. I could never escape that one.

“Weird seeing you here,” sabi ko nang puntahan ako ni Mama sa opisina ko.

“What are you doing, Nadia?” she asked.

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m working,” I replied.

Naglakad siya at huminto sa harap ng lamesa ko.

“You know what I am talking about,” she said using her clipped tone.

Tumingin ako sa kanya. “What about it?”

“Why do you insist in going against family, Nadia?” she asked me, sounding like she’s tired of me.

I drew a deep breath. It was supposed to be a good Monday morning. Yesterday’s brunch was cancelled for some reason I really didn’t care about. I played golf with Addie and had dinner with Archie. I was actually excited to work today, and then this.

“How am I going against family, Mama?” I asked. “I am minding my own business.”

I saw her calming herself.

When did she become like this?

If I asked her when was the exact moment she gave up on herself, may masasagot kaya siya sa akin?

“You know Maven’s the one being prepared for presidency,” she said. She was clutching on to her Hermés. Every time my father would cheat on her, she’d get one. She’s got quite the collection.

“What about it?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Nadia.”

Tumingin ako sa kanya. “I’m not doing anything, Mama, and if I am, so what? This is still a democratic country, as far as I’m concerned. And if you’re all so sure that Maven’s the future president, then why are you all so concerned about me and my ’ little project ?’” I asked because I was aware na iyan ang tawag nila kay Archie kapag wala ako—Nadia’s little project.

“You know campaign costs money. Where will you get funds?”

“Donors,” I said. “I know a thing or two about elections. I’ve been dragged since I was a kid, remember?”

Muli siyang humugot ng malalim na hininga.

“And if any, maybe I’ll spend my own money on this little project of mine. It’s a good tax write off—something I learned from dad,” I said.

Her lips parted.

“Now, if you have nothing more to tell me, I seriously have a lot of things I need to finish,” I told her as I opened my laptop. Totoo naman na marami akong gagawin. This business didn’t run itself. How I wish.

“I wish you’d stop fighting family,” she said.

“I wish you didn’t just completely give up,” I replied as I typed away on my laptop. 

**

This story is already at Chapter 10 on beeyotch.ph and patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance if you want to pay via GCASH. As of the moment, credit and debit cards can be used directly when paying in the site :) Thank you!

Chapter 08

Chapter 08

Everything was going according to plan—which a few problems along the way that I already predicted. I mean, is it really life if everything goes your way?

“Why are you happy?” tanong ko kay Archie. He’s been sporting that grin on his face since I saw him this afternoon. We’re headed to pick up the suit that he’ll wear for the engagement party.

“Because—” he said and then he paused dahil pinagpalit niya kami ng pwesto. He was the one walking outside the pavement now. He did it so casually like it was nothing and it was normal for him. I shouldn’t even notice this, but I did. I once dated a guy who was the worst in everything. He’d usually just throw money at things and thought that that made everything okay. I didn’t even know what I was thinking when I dated him. I call that my dark age.

So, now? I appreciate the nice gestures that Archie does. Because I now know that not everyone is capable of that.

“Because what?” I asked nang hindi niya ituloy iyong sasabihin niya.

“We had a meeting earlier, right?”

“Right,” I said because for some reason, he always updates me with whatever he does in office. I told him that there’s absolutely no need for that. I didn’t need to know where he was every second of the day. I just needed him to tell me the important things and to answer when I need him.

“Usually, hindi naman ako pinapansin sa meeting,” he replied.

“But you still go,” I said. He needed to be there para matutunan niya iyong gagawin niya kapag siya na iyong mayor. Sure, we’re planning on winning, but we also needed a good track record for him. Kapag tumakbo na siya sa national election, whatever he did for his town would be his show pony. Dadalhin niya ’to kahit saan siya makarating. It’s important that we don’t mess this up.

“Of course,” he replied. “But this morning, napansin ako sa meeting.”

“Did they really ignore you before?” tanong ko. Sometimes, Archie could be melodramatic. Sinasabi niya dati na bored siya sa meeting kasi hindi siya pinapansin. He said na literally attendance lang daw ang ginagawa niya. I mean, surely they could not be that juvenile para hindi siya pansinin? And for what? He’s basically a nobody before kaya bakit naman siya hindi papansinin? He’s not a threat to be iced out.

“Not really ignore, but you do feel that they didn’t really care about my attendance,” sabi niya. “But this morning, kinausap ako ni Mayor. He actually did ask about my opinion about this one resolution that we’re trying to pass bago magsimula iyong campaign period.”

I nodded my head and chose to just listen to his story.

“Do you think it has something to do with the election?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean, he’s usually pretty confident na mananalo siya. If it’s still the same, dapat confident pa rin siya, ’di ba? Unless he thinks of me as a competition?”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Of course you’re a competition,” I replied. “You’re about to marry me. He should be afraid.”

His face fell down for a second but he quickly picked it up and smiled at me.

“Of course,” he said. “Who would dare mess with the de Marcos, right?”

Ngumiti lang ako.

This guy’s ego is fragile. I should not be saying things like that. I should make him feel that he’s winning because he’s born to be a winner. Although he still needed constant reminder that he has what he has because I gave it to him.

Always both feet on land.

He was awfully quiet hanggang sa makarating kami sa boutique. Normally, I would prefer him being quiet, but not this kind of quiet. I didn’t want him to slowly resent me. That would make everything hard for the both of us.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

Sometimes, it’s fine to swallow your pride and apologize. But I rarely do this—only when I felt like the situation calls for. I didn’t want my apologies to feel like candies that I give away whenever. I rarely does this so that when I do this, it means something.

“What?” he asked habang nakaupo at hinihintay iyong damit niya.

“It’s not just because you’re associated with my family,” I said.

“It’s fine,” he replied. “It’s true. You’re literally from the first family. You’re… important. We even have guards following us everywhere.”

I arched my brow. “You noticed them?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “How could I not? Nakasunod sila kahit saan,” he continued. “Sinusundan ka ba talaga nila kahit saan?”

I nodded. “Just protocol. I hardly even notice them anymore.”

“Paano kapag gusto mong mapagisa?”

“I go to my condo.”

“Paano kapag gusto mo ng fresh air?”

“There’s a balcony in my condo.”

Umirap siya. “You know what I mean.”

Umirap din ako. “No, they always follow me,” I said. “And my cousins can manage to escape them, but I don’t want to do that. They’re there for a reason.”

“Do you think there’s a real threat?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yes. My family receives threat on a daily basis. I’m not insane to risk my life just to get some fresh air.”

He looked very interested. At least he’s finally forgotten about the thoughtless remark that I made. “May muntik na bang makidnap sa inyo?” he asked.

“Aspen when he was younger,” I said. “He used to make a game of it—iyong pagtakas niya sa security.”

“And?” he asked, sounding very invested.

“He almost got kidnapped.”

“Oh… wow.”

“No, not really,” I said. “I was just getting tired of hearing that same conversation over brunch, so I convinced my other cousins to stage a kidnapping attempt para matigil na si Aspen sa ginagawa niya.”

Archie’s lips parted. “You did what?”

I shrugged. “It used to be a constant topic in brunch. The elders hated what he was doing and he’s doing it just to prove a point. I was getting tired of it, so I decided to put a stop to it.”

Nakatingin siya sa akin na para bang tinubuan ako ng dalawang ulo.

“What?” I asked nang ilang segundo ang lumipas at ganoon pa rin ang tingin niya sa akin.

“Remind me never to mess with you.”

Umirap ako. “Will do.”

“Nalaman ba ni Aspen?”

Umiling ako. “My cousins and I promised to take it to our grave.”

“Pero sinabi mo sa akin?”

I shrugged. “We’re going to be husband and wife. What’s mine is yours—secrets included,” I said and then stood up because his suit was finally here.

---

“This feels more like one of Abuela’s political parties than an engagement,” Aspen commented.

I shrugged as I sipped my champagne. “Two birds with one stone.”

I initially planned on just a dinner between two families, but ultimately decided against it. Sure, we’re trying to act like we’re marrying for love, but we can never convince our family of it. They all knew that that’s just a farce.

This was a political marriage.

We can convince the world, but not our family.

“If you’ll excuse me,” I said nang makita kong muli si Senator Velasquez. I already got the word from some people na susuportahan nila si Archie when the time comes. Wala pa akong naririnig from Senator Velasquez. His word is the most important. Sure, my Abuelo’s technically the president, but anyone close to us knew who really holds the power. It’s the same with Senator Velasquez. He has such a huge influence in the legislative. It would be really nice to get him on our side.

“Senator,” I said when I finally managed to corner him.

“Congratulations,” he replied, giving me that polite smile.

I smiled back. “Thank you.”

Silence shortly enveloped us.

“Haven’t heard from you,” I said.

“You are bold,” he commented.

“Excuse me?”

“Your Abuela is watching us,” sabi niya.

“You can say hi,” I replied. Nakita ko na natawa siya. “What?”

Umiling siya. “What is with this Gallego kid?” he asked.

“Senator, he’s friends with your son,” I commented. “Same fraternity and all that. Doesn’t that mean anything anymore?” I asked because as far as I was concerned, people from frat have a weird sense of loyalty. They will literally cover murder for you. Could never be me. I was also a part of a sorority, but I’d sell any of those bitches if it meant saving myself.

“Your cousin is also a part of the fraternity,” he said.

“Sure, but really, do you think he’s in the right mindset for anything?” I asked.

Natigilan siya.

“Be smart about this, Senator,” I said. “Sure, Archie’s basically… unknown, but isn’t that better? He’s like a clean canvas. We can make anything out of him.”

Nanatili siyang tahimik.

Napatingin kaming dalawa kay Archie na kumaway sa akin. I smiled at him. My poor, sometimes naive boy.

“He’s easier to control unlike Maven,” I added.

“Your Abuela is still counting on him,” he replied.

“He’s her favorite. She’ll always have a blind spot for him.”

“For a reason,” sagot ni Senator. “Even with the mess he’s made, people still like him.”

My lips were pressed into a thin line.

I was starting to hate this conversation.

I hated being reminded that I needed to be excellent at everything and still, sometimes, I still fall short… but literally, Maven could burn the whole world and people will still find reasons to applaud him.

God, I hated him sometimes.

“Well, if you know him, you know he’s bound to make more mess along the road,” I said.

“And he will be forgiven once again,” Senator Velasquez replied.

“Sure, but—”

Inilagay niya sa tray nung dumaan na waiter iyong champagne flute niya. “Win the election first, Nadia, and then maybe we can discuss the presidency,” he said and then gave me the kind of smile that you give someone you pity. “Congratulations on the engagement once again.”

God, I hate Maven!

“Hey, are you okay?” tanong ni Archie sa akin nang makalapit siya.

I forced myself to smile. I shouldn’t alarm him. I shouldn’t show him any weakness or uncertainty. As far as he’s concerned, everything’s fine.

“Yes, everything’s good,” I replied. “Is your family enjoying the party?”

Tumango siya. “Yes… surprisingly.”

“That’s great,” sabi ko. “If you’ll excuse me,” dugtong ko bago umalis.

“Saan ka pupunta?”

“Need to find someone,” I replied… and hopefully, she’s not already rotting in hell because she’s the only one who could ruin Maven’s life.

Chapter 09

Chapter 09

“I gotta give it to you—you did the impossible,” Aspen said as he stood beside me. We were having a thanksgiving dinner. Kakatapos lang ng thanksgiving mass. If I were being honest, hindi naman talaga ako religious na tao. I didn’t even like going to mass dahil mas madalas na hindi ako sangayon sa sinasabi ng pari. More often than not, they’re not even preaching the word of God—it’s just their own ego talking. But I still go to the church dahil sabi nga ni Abuela—it’s good optics. Afterall, Philippines is still a Catholic country. You can get away with a lot of things just by pretending that you’ve found your way back to the Lord.

“It wasn’t impossible,” I replied as I smiled at Archie who was being congratulated by everyone. He soon needed to learn na hindi lahat ng tao na kaibigan ay kaibigan talaga. Karamihan sa kanila ay may kailangan lang. It’s a skill that he needed to learn.

“It was,” sabi niya. “I really thought he wouldn’t win.”

Lumingon ako sa kanya. “You doubted my choice?”

Aspen shrugged. “I mean, his father was the suspect in a rape and subsequent kidnap and murder of a college girl. Can you blame me?”

“Innocent until proven guilty,” I replied.

Aspen laughed. “You sound like Abuela,” he said and that made me give him a disapproving look. “But you do know that the court of public opinion always wins.”

“I know,” I said. “But the sin of the father is not the sin of the son.”

“The apple does not fall far from the tree.”

I shrugged. “It can,” I replied, “If I throw that apple far away.”

Tumawa siya. “Whatever,” he said. “So, you’re the mayor now.”

“Archie’s the mayor.”

“Sure,” he said. “Just like Abuelo’s the president,” he added. “What’s next now?”

I watched as Archie interacted with the people. He’s better now as compared to before where he used to struggle. He’s a nice person, I can say as much, but in the world of politics, being nice is going to be your downfall. Believing that people are nice just because will also cost you something. It’s most about ‘what can you do for me?’ and I hope Archie can get onboard with that soon.

“Be the best mayor this town has ever seen,” I said as I excused myself and made my way to my fiancé.

---

“That was tiring,” Archie said as I was pouring myself a glass of wine. Naglakad siya palapit sa akin at saka niyakap ako mula sa likuran. I felt him kissing the side of my neck. “Let’s go to sleep.”

“I need to take a shower first,” I replied.

“Okay, after we take a shower together,” he said while tracing a pattern on my waist.

“Just shower,” I said, “I’m tired.”

He chuckled. “I know,” sabi niya. “I’m tired as well.”

We just stood there habang umiinom ako at nakayakap siya sa akin. We had been together for months now. Hindi na kami ganoon kadalas nagtatalo. Sure, sometimes, he’d get annoyed at me, but he’s getting better at handling it (or maybe better at hiding it). Either way, it’s getting easier for us to get along.

“We have a meeting tomorrow, right?” tanong niya.

“Yes,” I replied.

We wanted to get married before he assumes office. Gusto ko na kapag nagstart na iyong term niya ay focused siya sa pagiging mayor. I mean, I really did mean it when I said na he’ll be the best mayor this town has ever seen. Sure, he’s got a pretty complicated family background, but all that will be a thing of the past once na mapatunayan niya na iba siya sa tatay niya at kaya niyang maging magaling na mayor.

This is one thing I adore about Filipinos—they’re very forgiving.

“My friends are already planning for the stag party,” sabi niya. “Will you have a bachelorette?”

I nodded. “Just a dinner with some of my friends.”

“Okay,” he replied. “They’ll invite some strippers, for sure, but if you don’t want to, I can tell them I don’t want strippers.”

“It’s fine. Have fun,” I said. “Just no photos or videos.”

Hanggang sa maubos ko iyong wine ay wala akong narinig mula sa kanya. I placed the glass on the counter.

“Let’s take a bath?” I asked.

Lumuwag ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin. Bahagya siyang umiling at ngumiti. “No, I have to make some calls first,” he said before he walked to the room.

What’s his problem?

Hanggang sa matapos ako sa pagligo ay hindi siya sumunod sa akin. I was already done preparing for bed. Hanggang sa makatulog ako ay hindi ko naramdaman iyong pagtabi niya sa akin.

When I woke up, he was already gone.

‘Where are you?’ I messaged him.

‘Went home to grab some things. Will see you later at the appointment.’

‘Okay,’ I replied although I wanted to know if I said something again because this was how he acted kapag may nasabi ako na hindi niya gusto. I wished he’d be more transparent with me. I try my best not to step on his ego, but I wished he wasn’t so sensitive. I felt like I was walking on egg shell most of the time.

I decided not to dwell on that anymore. Naghanda na lang ako para pumunta sa opisina. I busied myself the entire day until it was time to meet with the wedding planner. I wanted a fairytale kind of wedding, but also one that’s intimate. People love fairytale like happy endings. I needed to find that balance that’s why I hired the best planner in town.

Pagdating ko roon ay wala pa si Archie kaya naman pinakita muna sa akin ng planner iyong portfolio niya. After a while ay dumating na si Archie.

“Hi,” he said as he kissed my cheek. “Hi,” bati niya sa planner.

“Did you get what you needed?” tanong ko. He’s already staying at my condo habang wala pa kaming bahay. He told me that he’s planning on selling his condo, but I haven’t heard about him finding a broker. Maybe I should help him with that.

“Yeah,” he replied curtly.

I wanted to ask more about that, but the meeting began. Tinanong lang kami tungkol sa general theme na gusto naming mangyari. Archie was quiet for the most part. I wanted to think more about it, but he did tell me that he’ll let me decide dahil ako daw iyong bride. But I knew him better kaya alam ko na may dahilan iyong pagiging tahimik niya.

When you spend enough time with someone, alam mo kapag kakaiba iyong katahimikan na binibigay nila.

“Archie,” pagtawag ko sa kanya nang umalis na iyong planner. He didn’t even wait and stood up quickly.

“Yeah?” he said habang kinukuha iyong cellphone niya mula sa bulsa niya at may binabasa doon. Ni hindi man lang siya nakatingin sa akin.

“Are we okay?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Alright. If you say so,” I replied.

Tumingin siya sa akin. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

Nakatingin ako sa kanya. He probably felt the weight of my stare kaya naman tumingin din siya sa akin. “We’re fine,” he repeated. “Nadia, we’re fine.”

“Why do you feel the need to repeat yourself as if you’re trying to convince someone?”

I saw him taking a deep breath.

Bumalik siya sa pagkakaupo.

“Fine,” he said as he clasped his hands together. Tumingin siya sa akin. He looked serious. “I’m just… a bit confused.”

“About what?”

“Before… you did tell me that we’ll try to fall in love,” he said and he sounded a bit annoyed. “I mean, at least you tried to tell me that you’ll try to like me.”

Tumango ako. “I did tell you that.”

“Okay,” he said. “It’s been months.”

“I know.”

“You still don’t like me.”

“I do like you,” I said.

“You do?”

“I do,” I said. “I’m still here, right?”

Sandali siyang natahimik. “I don’t know… I feel like you want the presidency bad enough to stick around kahit ayaw mo naman sa akin,” he said.

I remained silent because he’s right. I can tolerate most things to get what I want. That’s how I was raised. I was told that sometimes, you have to sacrifice something to get that one thing. Hindi ako pinalaki sa fairytale where everything will all fall in their right place soon.

“That’s true,” I told him because I knew that there’s no point lying dahil kilala niya naman na ako. “But I am being honest when I tell you that I do like you, Archie.”

He was staring at me like he was trying to read my soul. “Just… like?”

“For now, yes.”

“Romantically like?”

“Maybe.”

“Why aren’t you jealous?”

“Jealous about what?”

“The strippers,” he said.

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Is that why you’ve been grumpy all day? Because I told you that you can have strippers in your stag party?” Sumandal siya sa upuan niya at pinagkrus ang mga braso. Bahagya akong natawa. “Do you want me to get jealous?”

He huffed. “No.”

“Okay.”

“I mean, it won’t hurt to be a bit jealous.”

Muli akong bahagyang natawa. “Do you want me to tell you that you can’t have strippers?”

“No.”

“Okay because your friends will dislike me if I say no to strippers,” sabi ko sa kanya. I know some of his friends. I know that one way or another, they’ll sneak in strippers. It’s just wasting energy kung sasabihin ko na ayoko.

“I don’t care about what they say,” he said like a stubborn child. Tumingin siya sa akin at saka inabot ang mga kamay ko na nakapatong sa lamesa at hinawakan iyon. I was taken aback at how he was looking me in the eyes. He felt so… serious.

“Nadia,” he called my name.

“What?” I said. I hated that I was uncomfortable with the intensity of his stares.

“I do like you.”

Bahagyang napaawang ang labi ko.

“And I know that you’re trying your best to like me and that’s fine with me. That’s enough for me… at least for now,” he continued. “But… I really do like you. And once we get married, I want to start a family with you. I don’t want any mistress like what you suggested before. I want you. I want us. I want a baby with you. Am I making any sense? I’m sorry. You do make me nervous all the time.”

Hindi ako nakapagsalita agad.

He was trembling a bit.

“Come on… Say something,” he said.

“Oh…” sabi ko dahil nakalimutan ko na kailangan kong magsalita. “Okay,” I continued.

“Okay what?”

“Okay to what you said,” I replied.

“To everything?”

“Yes.”

“So, we’ll get married for real?”

“We will get married ‘for real,’” I replied. “It’s a real wedding, Archie. Did you think it’s gonna be fake?”

“No, no, I mean, I wanna be husband and wife. Real wedding. Real marriage. You know what I mean.”

Huminga ako nang malalim. I held his hand back.

“Okay,” I said. “We’ll have a real marriage.”

He finally gave me a smile. “I promise I’ll give you the presidency,” he said as he played with my knuckles. “Whatever you want, I will do my best to give it to you.”

I looked at him and smiled.

God, he’s fallen in love. 

**

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Chapter 10

Chapter 10

“Hey…” sabi ni Archie nang sagutin niya iyong tawag ko.

“Hi,” I replied. “How’s the first day?”

The previous mayor tried to question the result of the election, but I wasn’t worried about that. Hindi kami nandaya. I mean, if there’s a need for that, I would not be totally opposed to rigging the election. But rigging the election meant spending money… And I was preparing for a bigger battle.

People really just voted for Archie. The sooner he accepted that, the better it would be for him. He just looked pathetic. Ayaw na rin naman ng mga tao sa kanya rito. His family’s been in power for decades at walang pagbabago na nangyayari sa lugar na ’to. People wanted change—and that’s why I chose Archie. He’s young and full of promise. He just needed the right person beside him to make it all work.

And it worked.

He’s the mayor now.

“It’s going well,” he replied.

“That’s good to hear,” sabi ko sa kanya.

I wanted to be with him today. First day in office? That’s exhilarating. Mas gusto ko na maging mayor muna siya para alam niya kung paano iyong executive. Presidency is an executive work, so being a mayor should be a nice training ground. Sa susunod ay congress na dahil kailangan na mas marami ang makakilala sa kanya. Right now, the goal is to collect cookie points. There’s no room for error—not when I know that in the future, si Maven ang possible na makalaban namin. I mean, hopefully not. Hindi naman malabo. Maven’s as unpredictable as one could get. It would only take one name for him to flip his world around.

“Did you receive the flowers?” he asked.

“What—” I said and then paused when I remembered. “Oh, right. Thank you for that.”

Sandali siyang natahimik.

“Did you do any work today?” I asked because I wanted to know what happened today. I could ask him later, but I wanted to hear it from him now. I would rather be there with him, but I still had a business to run. I just needed to finalize some details, but I would be passing the management to someone else. Ako na lang ang magbibigay ng final approval, pero iba na ang magpapalakad. I was more interested in politics, anyways. This business’ just a way to keep me busy. Being idle will drive me insane.

“Not any real work,” he replied.

“So, what did you do?”

“Mostly people introducing themselves to me,” he said. “I’d known some of these people for years.”

“Be careful. Most of them just wants something from you.”

“I know,” he replied. “Did you not like the flowers?”

“I did,” I said. “So, just meet and greet today?”

“Yes,” sabi niya. “I still needed to decide who I will replace or retain, apparently.”

“Right… We need to be think about that carefully. We don’t want the wrong people in certain positions.”

I remember hearing my Abuela tell me that the key to a successful administration is having the right people by your side. She said that she didn’t have to like these people, but if they’re the right person for the job, then personal feelings have to be set aside. It’s just work, she’d always say.

But at the same time, you have to make sure that these people know where their loyalty is.

One mistake and they’re out—that’s the rule. So that they know how to always stay in line.

“Right…” he replied.

“We can discuss that over dinner later,” I told him.

“Okay.”

I heard knocking on my door. “Okay,” I said. “I will see you later?”

“Sure,” he replied before I ended the call para asikasuhin iyong trabaho ko. I seriously would rather be in the municipal hall than in this place.

---

I was excited to go home.

For the first time in forever, I was excited to go home.

I did a little research about some of the people that we’ll work with. I planned to retain some of them in the office since obviously, sila iyong tao na loyal sa kung sinuman nag nakaupo sa pwesto. May iba sa kanila na loyal pa rin sa dating mayor. I just know that they’d just cause divide. They needed to be replaced dahil may iba naman na kaya ring gawin ang trabaho nila. They’re not irreplaceable.

This administration needed to go along perfectly.

I wanted to have a nice dinner with Archie kaya naman dumaan muna ako sa paborito niyang restaurant para kunin iyong inorder ko na pagkain. I prepared everything and waited for him to come home. He should be here anytime now.

“Where have you been?” I asked nang makauwi siya ng 8PM. Hanggang 5PM lang naman iyong trabaho niya.

“Dinner,” he replied.

“You had dinner already?”

He nodded as he put on his things on the table. “I got invited to a dinner and we talked business.”

My lips were pressed into a thin line. “You discussed business with who?”

“Some people.”

“Who are these people?”

Tumingin siya sa akin. He ran his fingers through his hair. “My head’s aching. Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m beat. I want to sleep already,” sabi niya at saka napatingin siya sa lamesa. Nandon lahat ng paborito niyang pagkain. Nakita ko kung paano napaawang iyong labi niya. “You cooked this?” he asked, sounding guilty.

“Of course not,” I replied, still looking at him with my lips pressed into a thin line. “Do I look like I have the time to cook? But I got them because I thought we agreed that we’d have dinner together. Apparently you have other plans,” I continued before I got the plates and then just began to shove them inside the ref.

“Nadia—”

“It’s fine,” I replied.

“I didn’t know…” he said. “I thought you just wanted to talk about work…”

“So what if I wanted to talk about work?”

“It’s fine… but I also want to talk about other things,” he said. “I want to talk about your day.”

“I just worked the entire day,” I told him. “You want to hear about the plans that I approved?”

He nodded. “I do. I really do.”

Nakatingin ako sa kanya at bahagyang nakakunot ang noo. Lumapit siya sa akin at hinawakan iyong kamay ko.

“I’m sorry… I know you’re pissed at me because I discussed business without you,” he said while he was tracing patterns on my hand.

“You know I’d be pissed but you still did it anyway?”

He nodded. “I’m an asshole, I know.”

Nanatili akong tahimik.

“I promised them nothing,” he continued. “They just wanted to tell me about the agreement with the previous mayor and to tell me that it shall continue.”

“What agreement?”

“Gambling, mostly.”

“What did you tell them?”

“No business talk when I’m drunk,” he replied. Lumapit siya at niyakap ako. He rested his head on top of mine. “I will never make any decision without your input. We’re a team.”

I remained silent.

“Are you mad?” he asked and when I said nothing, he began raining down kisses on my face. He kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my chin. And then he held my face by my chin, forcing me to look at him. “I’m sorry, love… Don’t be mad…”

I looked at him.

“You can choose who we’ll replace in the office,” he said.

I arched my brow. “Whoever I want?”

He nodded. “Whoever you want.”

“Okay.”

He chuckled and kissed my lips. “Okay, now let’s have dinner.”

“You already ate.”

“And I’ll eat with you again. And then will eat you later,” he said and then tapped my ass that made my eyes widen. Napahalakhak siya na parang tuwang-tuwa siya sa reaksyon ko.

---

Archie and I discussed first the pertinent positions. Of course we needed to put people who will be loyal to us. Archie’s been working there before kaya naman tinanong ko siya kung may mga tao ba na mapagkakatiwalaan niya. He mentioned a few names.

“I mean, I know those people… but I can’t guarantee they’re loyalty,” he said as we were in bed and he was tracing patterns on the skin on my arm.

“It’s easy to buy people’s loyalty.”

“How?”

“You buy.”

“Like with money?”

I nodded. “Money makes the world go round.”

“Does it, really?”

“It does,” I said. “And to think otherwise makes you look naive.”

“It’s one way to make the world go round,” he replied.

“Are you one of those people who don’t think that money can buy happiness?” I asked.

He shrugged as he pulled me close. “I know money can buy happiness… but surely money isn’t everything,” he said and then I remained silent. It’s astounding how based on principles, we’re two completely different individuals. “You think money is everything?” he asked.

“No,” I replied. “Money and power.”

“Aren’t they the same?”

“Not at all,” I said.

“I mean, if you have money, you always have power, right?”

“No,” I replied. “My family’s probably the most powerful at the moment, but we don’t have the most money…”

He arched his brow. “Don’t you?” he asked. “I mean… I heard stories…”

Bahagya akong natawa. “Stories about what?”

“Swiss accounts.”

“What about that?”

“So, they exist?”

I shrugged. “Neither confirm nor deny.”

“I thought we’re family already?”

Bahagya akong natawang muli. “We are married.”

“See? So, can’t I know the family secret?”

“It’s not a family secret,” I said.

“But do the accounts exist?”

“Yes,” I said, “But I don’t have access to it.”

“Who does?”

I shrugged.

We’re married, sure, but he’s still not family. We could make a family, but he’s still not a part of my other family. But I’d never tell him that knowing how sensitive he could get.

“Don’t worry, we’ll have our own Swiss accounts,” I told him instead.

“So, is that the plan? Take the presidency and then… steal money?” he asked. “Is that why you want the presidency? For money?”

“Yes,” I replied because that’s the easier answer to explain.

But I wanted power.

I wanted respect.

I wanted everything that was not given to me growing up.

“I hope I can give you everything that you want,” he whispered in my ears.

I held his hands. “You can and you will,” I replied. “And I’ll give you want you want.”

I knew he wanted love and if there’s anything I learned in life, you can fake anything if you want it bad enough. 

**

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Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I’d dated some people in my life, but almost all of the reason why those relationship ended was apparently because I wasn’t ‘caring’ enough. Or that I was cold. Or that they felt like I never really did give a shit about them. Granted that I didn’t love any of those men, it was still annoying to be dumped. Of course I would never tell a single soul about that.

There wasn’t really any reason to try to pretend that I care… Most of them I just dated for appearance’ sake. Iyong iba, nagustuhan ko naman kahit papaano… Just not enough for me to really develop feelings for them.

But now with Archie? I knew I should’ve practiced with those guys before. Ngayon tuloy ay para akong teenager na nag-aaral kung paano maging ‘sweet’ dahil alam ko na ganoon ang hinahanap ni Archie kahit hindi niya pa sabihin sa akin.

“What?” I asked Nicole, my secretary, nang mapansin ko na nabasa niya iyong nasa screen ng laptop ko.

Quickly, she shook her head. “Nothing.”

Sumandal ako sa swivel chair ko. “This is such a headache,” I told myself as I closed my eyes. I was nowhere near done with my tasks for the day, yet mas inuuna ko pa ’to. And I was a bit ashamed that I still had to ‘research’ about this. And now, nakita pa ng assistant ko. She must think na nababaliw na ako.

“Nicole,” I called her.

“Yes, Ma’am?” she replied immediately.

When she first started to work for me, she was a bit scared of me. She didn’t have to tell me dahil napansin ko naman. But I wasn’t mean—I just didn’t like mistakes. I wanted things done a certain way. And once she got the hang of it, mas naging relaxed na siya sa akin. Still, she knew that work is work. But on the other hand, I knew that I could talk to her. She always signed an NDA. She knew that whatever I tell her is for her ears only.

“You’re married, right?”

She nodded. “Yes, Ma’am. Kayo pa nga nagbayad nung honeymoon ko,” she replied.

“Right…” I said. “How did you make your husband fall for you?”

Kumunot ang noo niya. “Ano po, Ma’am?”

I didn’t want to explain my situation with Archie to her, but I guessed that this was for the better. Ayoko naman na pati sa assistant ko ay magpapanggap ako. Besides, this is what NDA is for.

When you have to pretend in front of the world, the last thing you’d want is to pretend with the people close to you.

“Like the dating thing.”

“Ah…” she said, still looking confused. “Sa inyo po ni Sir Archibald?”

I shrugged. “Yeah.”

Based on the reaction on her face, she wanted to ask me questions, but also knowing me, she knew that some things are better left unasked.

“Uh… ano po, sweet saka lalambingin niyo minsan.”

“Like how? Can you give concrete example?”

It had felt like a lifetime since I last dated. I felt like I was learning how to ride a bike and I needed the training wheels.

Instead of doing work, nandon kami ni Nicole at sinabi niya sa akin iyong mga ginawa niya para mainlove sa kanya iyong asawa niya. I mean, I was already half-way there. Archie’s already in love with me… I just needed to play the part well. Because based on how Archie’s acting so far, he’d resent me if I don’t have the same feelings that he has.

And I didn’t know if I wanted to fall for him.

So far, based on the people around me, they really didn’t make falling in love look like fun.

I feared that I’d lose my brain if I fall in love.

So what’s the next best thing? Pretend to be in love.

Surely, it couldn’t be that hard.

“Hey…” he said when I answered his call.

“Hi,” I replied.

I was trying my best to make the transition faster dahil mas gusto ko na magfocus na sa politics. I needed to make sure that his term would be best. We already had some plans for some program, but those still needed final approval.

Still, I needed to make sure na maayos iyong business ko. I always needed a fallback plan—not that I wouldn’t get the presidency. But a contingency is always nice. As Abuela always say, never let yourself be in a situation na gagawin mo ang isang bagay dahil wala kang choice. Always do yourself a favor and create options and choose what’s best for you.

After all, life is what you make it.

“What’s with the flowers?” he asked pero kahit na wala siya sa harapan ko ay nakikita ko na nakangiti siya. Nicole was right—guys do love receiving flowers. She said na usually ay babae ang nakaka-receive ng bulaklak. She also said that most guys only receive flowers on their burial. That was a little fun fact.

“Just wishing you a good week ahead,” I told him.

“Aww… That’s so nice of you, love.”

I wanted to ask him about work, but I knew that he didn’t like it when I ask him about that. I was just waiting for the time na hindi na siya maiinis sa akin kapag nagtatanong ako tungkol don. I felt like once he’s convinced that I’d fallen for him, he’d loosen up. Pakiramdam ko kasi ngayon ay pakiramdam niya iyon lang ang habol ko. All my problems will be solved once convinced him that we’re in this together ‘for real’ gaya nga ng sabi niya.

“What do you want for dinner?” I asked.

“You’ll cook?”

“Obviously not,” I replied.

He laughed like he was so delighted with my response. “Of course,” he said. “What time will you be done with work?”

“Around 5,” I said.

“Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I’m done here and we can have dinner in your fave restaurant.”

“I have a favorite restaurant?” I asked.

“Yeah, I think so?” he replied. “I mean, in all the time I’d known you, we ate there like eight times already.”

“Eight times? That’s a specific number,” I said. “Were you counting?”

Humalakhak siyang muli. “Maybe,” he replied in a playful manner.

Sumandal ako sa swivel chair. I crossed my legs and closed my eyes. “That’s cute,” I said. “So, what else are my favorite?” muling tanong ko.

Nicole said that once in a while, I have to flirt with him. This, I can do. Flirting is easy. It’s just mind games, really. Guys love confusion. That’s why a lot of times, kapag nakuha ka na nila at alam na nila na sa kanila ka, they’d lose interest.

That’s why you have to confuse them sometimes—but not all the time because they have fragile ego. If you step on it quite often, they’d feel emasculated and they’ll find someone else you’d make them feel like a man.

“You like wine.”

“Obviously.”

“Especially Sauvignon Blanc.”

“Sometimes Pinot Grigio,” I commented.

“Yes,” he replied. “You prefer white wine, I noticed.”

“Depends on my mood, really,” I said. “What else?”

“You like candles. Lots of it in the condo.”

“It’s relaxing.”

“It is,” he replied. “You like the vanilla scented ones although it gives me the headache.”

“It does?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s fine,” he said, but I already made a mental note na tanggalin iyong mga scented candle na vanilla scent sa condo at palitan ng iba iyon. “Your night time routine includes opening a bottle of wine, lightening a candle, and reading books about politics. The reading of the news is a part of the morning routine,” he continued.

Natawa ako. “This is starting to feel stalker-ish.”

Natawa rin siya. “Nah. I’m just very fascinated with you,” he said.

“Are you?”

“Yes,” he said in a much deeper tone. “You are very fascinating. You of all people should know that…”

I pressed my lips together and stopped myself nang maramdaman ko na napapangiti ako sa sinasabi niya.

“I am, am I not?” I replied.

“You very much are,” he said. “Dinner later?”

“Alright.”

“Can’t wait.”

“Are you busy now—” I asked and then stopped when I realized that he should be focusing on work and nothing else. “Never mind.”

“What?” tanong niya.

“Nothing. I will see you later.”

“Come on… What is it?”

“Nothing,” I repeated. “Focus on work.”

“How can I focus on work now? I will be wondering kung ano iyong sasabihin mo dapat sa akin.”

“I will tell you later.”

“Tell me now.”

“Wala ka bang ginagawa?”

“Of course I have,” he said. “But wife before work.”

I rolled my eyes.

Natawa siya.

“You rolled your eyes, did you?” natatawang sabi niya sa akin.

I remained silent.

This man knows me.

“But seriously, what were you about to tell me? I seriously won’t be able to work dahil iisipin ko lang kung ano iyong sasabihin mo dapat sa akin.”

I ran my fingers through my hair tapos ay napatingin ako sa daliri ko kung nasaan iyong singsing ko. I took a deep breath.

“I was about to ask you,” I said and then deepened my voice a bit. “If you have time to spare.”

“Why?” he asked, his tone mirroring mine. I couldn’t see him, but it was as though I could picture how he looked like at this very exact moment.

I do know him well.

Perhaps we know each other well.

“I want to see you,” I replied.

“Just see me?”

“Among other things…”

“Like what?”

“Do you want me to describe the things I want you to do to me?” I asked as I crossed my legs yet again. I heard him groaning. “I don’t want to disrupt your work. It’s still transition period, isn’t it?”

“That’s so unfair…” he said in a raspy tone.

“Life is unfair, Archie,” I replied. “But I will see you later.”

“I will leave as soon as work day is over,” he said.

“Okay. Don’t leave work earlier than you’re supposed to.”

“I know. Won’t look good.”

“Indeed,” I replied. “Scratch dinner plans. I’ll wait for you in bed.”

“Naked?”

“And ready,” I said.

He groaned. “You’re killing me, woman.”

Natawa ako. “Alright. I have to go to work.”

“You’re torturing me!”

“Have a productive day ahead, Mayor Gallego,” I said as I ended the call. 

**

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Chapter 12

Chapter 12

“Good morning, future first lady,” Archie whispered in my ear as he was pulling me closer to him. I was so tired. I had never felt that tired in my life. I don’t think I ever came to a point where in I was the one telling the guy to stop because I literally could not handle the sensation anymore.

But last night?

Last night was different.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang nangyari sa araw ni Archie. He was so… aggressive. In a good way. I mean, sure, sometimes hindi kami magkasundo sa mga bagay, but if there’s one thing we always agree about, it’s that together, we have great sex.

That’s one thing we have that’s certain.

It was just… surreal. Our sex life has always been great kaya naman hindi ko akalain na may mas pa pala roon.

Archie could surprise me sometimes.

“Good morning,” I whispered back as I snuggled closer to him.

“Stay in bed,” he said.

“I am in bed.”

I felt him chuckling. “I know… I mean, I’m gonna get up and prepare breakfast.”

“I’m good with coffee.”

“I know… but I want to make you breakfast.”

“Okay.”

I was still comfortable in bed, but if he wanted to make breakfast, wala naman akong magagawa. My eyes were still closed. Ilang minuto na ang lumipas, pero hindi pa rin siya tumatayo. Dinilat ko ang mga mata ko at tumingin sa kanya.

“Why are you still here?” I asked.

“So hard to leave you here.”

Bahagya akong natawa. “You’re the one who wanted to get up to make breakfast.”

“I know…” he said as he pulled me even closer. I was already close, but he wanted me closer. Sometimes, I felt like if he could crawl inside my skin, he definitely would just so he’d have me close.

“Then get up.”

“I mean, you said you’re good with just coffee…”

“So, no breakfast?”

“I can be your breakfast,” he said as he wrapped his legs around my body.

“Tempting, but I can’t…”

“Still sore?”

“Yes,” I said. “I think I’m gonna work from home today.”

Natawa siya. Pinutol niya iyong yakap at tumingin sa akin. “Seriously?” he asked. “You’re that sore?” I nodded. Humalakhak siya. He looked rather pleased with himself. “Nice.”

Napairap ako. I gently pushed him away.

“Go make breakfast,” I said, but he just kept on pulling me back.

“No. I’m more needed here. You’re injured,” he replied.

“I’m not.”

“You are,” he said. “Sexually injured.”

My lips parted. “You did not.”

Muli siyang humalakhak. “I did.”

“Whatever,” I said. “That was a one-time thing.”

“Oh, love. I will rewind last night in my head and figure out what exactly it was that I did that made you this sore,” he said. “And I shall do that again… and more.”

The entirety of the morning, he was just teasing me for being sore. I let him because he looked happy and to be fair, I was having fun, too.

He still needed to go to work, so he just toasted bread and spread butter over it. It was fine. I really didn’t like eating in the morning, anyway. And the coffee he made was good.

“I’ll send you the list of the people I’ll be appointing,” he said.

Napatingin ako sa kanya habang hawak iyong mug ng kape ko. I simply nodded. I tried not to initiate discussion about politics. I patiently wait for him to bring it up dahil ayoko na isipin niya ulit na iyon lang ang habol ko sa kanya.

It seemed like the plan was working.

The more I show him that I was developing feelings for him, the more he’d let me in and the less he’d struggle with me being included in the decision making.

Other guys, you can control through sex.

Archie? He’s a feelings kind of guy.

Took me quite a while to figure it out.

“But I’ll need your approval in three days,” he continued. “Need to appoint people.”

I nodded. “I’ll get it back to you tonight,” I simply said.

“Alright.”

Naglakad siya papunta sa akin at saka hinalikan iyong gilid ng ulo ko. “Have to prepare for work,” he said.

“Alright. I’ll be here when you come home.”

Bigla niya akong niyakap. “I love it when you say home. “

“Why? It is your home.”

“I know, but you know? A house is a house until someone makes it a home.” Napairap ako. Naramdaman ko na natawa siya. “I know you rolled your eyes,” he said.

“Do you have eyes at the back of your head?”

“No. I just know you very well now,” he said as he hugged me even tighter. “Need to let go,” he said but then continued to hug me. “Have to work.”

“If you have to go, then let go.”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder.”

“I am hard.”

“Archibald.”

Humalakhak siya. “That’s the first time you ever said my name!”

“Wrong,” I replied. “I said your name during our vows,” I continued and pushed him away. “Now, go prepare. Long day ahead for you.”

He groaned, but nonetheless complied.

---

The rest of the week was… surprisingly normal—or dare I say domestic? I finished transitioning most of my responsibilities in my business, so I really just needed to do final approval on major decisions. Natapos na rin si Archie sa pag-aappoint ng mga bagong tao. Next week, start na ng proposal for new resolutions and new initiatives. I also needed to meet with the campaign team. It’s never too early to prepare for the next step.

“Noted on that, Ma’am,” sagot sa akin ni Cheryl.

We just finished the meeting. Archie’s in an out of town gathering kasama iyong mga ibang mayor. It’s kind of a meet and greet thing, but in reality, it’s the governor confirming the mayors’ loyalty. It’s gonna be good for him. I just hope that he’s holding up well. He kind of gets nervous when he’s around powerful people.

Speaking of powerful people, I needed to meet with Preston once again. Mabilis lang ’tong term ni Archie as a mayor. Mas malaking campaign iyong sa congress. We’d need more donation and support.

Also, I needed to check with Maven kung saan ba siya naka-address. Archie’s gonna run for this district. As far as I was concerned, sa ibang district naman naka-address pa si Maven, but I never really know with that one. Most of the time, he’d like a rotting body buried six feet deep, but it only takes one thing and suddenly, he’s all over.

Always needed to be prepared sa kung anuman ang maging plano niya.

“Also send me a list of places for a conference,” I said.

“For the barangay captain?”

“And the SK,” I replied. “Just give me a list of places.”

“Okay,” she said. “Budget?”

“No budget,” I replied. I mean, I wasn’t gonna get it from my personal account. The government has money. And as of the moment, Archie has control over the money of this city.

Tanga lang ang maniniwala na walang pera ang Pilipinas. There’s money—tons of it—you just don’t have access to it.

After the meeting ay dumiretso na ako sa brunch. It had been quite a while since I last attended brunch. I had been busy with the wedding and the last leg of the election. I mean, they understood how busy campaign period could get.

“Been so long,” Addie said nang makita niya ako.

“Indeed,” I replied. “How’s everything?”

She simply shrugged at me. I knew that above all, Maven’s got her loyalty. I understood. They’re twins, for heaven’s sake. But I also knew that she wouldn’t screw me over. At most, she’d just stay neutral.

“Have you talked to Abuela?” she asked.

“Not really,” I said. “She’s still alive, isn’t she?”

Aspen snorted. “How’s married life treating you?” he asked.

“It’s been nice,” I replied.

Aspen grinned. “Sex that good?”

Napatingin din sa gawi namin si Psalm. Even Saint who’s usually just minding his own business and who usually looks like he couldn’t wait to get out of here ay napatingin sa gawi ko.

“No, I won’t be discussing my sex life with you,” I told Aspen.

Humalakhak siya. “So, he’s that good! Nice.”

I looked at him, disgusted. “When did I ever discuss my sex life with you?” I asked. “And what made you think that I’m gonna start now?”

Tawang-tawa sila Psalm at Saint sa reaksyon ko. The entire time, iniinis lang ako nung tatlo. I didn’t know what’s with today at ako ang naisipan nilang guluhin. Natigilan lang sila nang dumating na si Abuela. That always works—her mere presence is always enough to take the joy out of any room. That’s the level I aspire to reach.

The brunch started. I did my best to enjoy the food kahit na ramdam na ramdam ko iyong pagtingin sa akin ni Mama. I didn’t know why she always acts like she’s scared of me. It wasn’t as if I was going to kill her in her sleep.

Nang matapos iyong brunch, as expected ay kinausap ako ni Abuela.

“Congratulations,” she told me.

I was taken aback.

For a second.

Quickly, I composed myself. “Thank you,” I replied. “You should congratulate Archie, Abuela,” I continued.

“I will,” she said.

“He will appreciate it.”

“What is the plan?” she asked, instead.

“What do you mean?”

Tumingin siya sa akin. Bahagya akong natawa. Why did I even bother? There’s no use in playing coy with her. Whenever I’d look at her, I only see who I would be in the future—better, even, if I could help it.

“Congress,” I said.

Gently, she nodded. “Okay.”

“You’ll support Maven, of course,” I stated.

Tumingin siya sa akin. “Don’t you want my support?”

I did not know the purpose of this talk. I did not know why she needed to know kung anuman ang plano ko. I mean, it’s her. Of course she already knew. Baka nga hindi ko pa naiisip ay alam niya na.

Sometimes, it’s eerie how she could predict what I’d do. Like she’s in my head.

Parang si Archie.

Maybe I was just easy to read? That’s disappointing.

“Of course, I do,” I replied. “But at the same time, I won’t be begging for it.”

She clasped her hands together. “Why do you think I’ll make you beg? We’re family.”

I shrugged. “I know Maven’s the favorite. It’s hardly news.”

“There are a lot of seat in the Congress,” she said.

“I know,” I replied. “And as far as I’m concerned, Maven resides in a different district.”

“Why can’t Archibald run for Senate, instead?” she asked.

“Senate?”

Abuela nodded. “He can run for Senate and Maven can run for congress. Together, we’ll have control of both the lower and upper house.”

Tumingin ako sa kanya. “Why can’t Maven run for senate?”

“He can,” Abuela replied, “But Archibald is unknown.”

I rolled my eyes. “You talk about him like he’s some unknown species,” I said. “He’s a mayor of one of the cities here in the Metro.”

“One of the cities,” Abuela replied. “Not even Manila,” she continued. “Running for senate means national coverage.”

Hindi ako nakasagot agad.

It’s a national election—bigger coverage, more funds needed.

“I’ll think about it,” I replied. I didn’t know what’s in it for her… Besides, it’s risky. Kapag natalo kami sa senatorial election, it will always reflect poorly on Archie. He’d be known as someone who didn’t make the cut in the senatorial line. It’s a huge risk as compared to the Congress with less people we’d have to court.

“Alright,” Abuela said.

“What’s in it for you?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she replied.

“Nothing…” I said as I slowly nodded my head.

“Not everything has an agenda,” Abuela said. “Should you decide to agree with my proposition, you will have my full support.”

“And the presidency?” I asked. “Did you promise Maven that?”

“I did,” she replied. “But should you two decide to run at the same time, I will keep my hands off it.”

Slowly, I nodded.

May the better de Marco win.

**

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Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Oh, how I love natural calamities.

It was three in the morning and Archie received a call from his executive assistant about how the town was in the middle of a disaster. I pretended to be asleep, but I had been awake the whole time. Nung isang araw ko pa inaabangan iyong forecast. I knew that anytime this week ay tatama na iyong bagyo. And according to experts, this would be the biggest in recent history.

In every disaster, there is an opportunity. That’s why a lot of people got rich during the war time. Most people saw despair, some saw opportunity. They leveraged the chaos and gained a whole lot more. I mean, I’m not saying that it’s the moral thing to do… It’s not. But life’s never fair and you’re deluding yourself if for one second ay iisipin mo na magiging patas ang mundo.

If you want something, grab it with both hands and never expect that it’d be handed to you on a silver platter.

“Did I wake you up? I’m sorry…” Archie said as he kissed the top of my head.

Nagpanggap ako na kakagising ko lang. “What is it?”

“Work,” he said.

“It’s too early…” sabi ko sabay tingin sa orasan. “3AM.”

“I know. I’d tell you to go back to sleep, but I know better,” he replied and then cupped my face and kissed me on the lips. “Get up, love. We have work to do,” dugtong niya bago ako marahan na hinatak patayo mula sa kama.

I was never really a fan of wearing sweatpants. I’d only voluntarily wear it when I go to the gym or to my spin or rowing class. But today’s an exception. There’s a disaster. So, I wore my black tights and a loose white shirt. I also put my hair into a nice little bun. I wore little makeup, but I still made sure that I looked nice and put together.

“God, you always look nice,” Archie commented when he saw me. He was wearing a pair of dark pants and white polo shirt. May suot din siya na dark rimmed glasses. He looked so nice. Maybe I should tell him that. It doesn’t hurt to compliment him once in a while.

“Thank you,” I replied. “You look nice, too.”

“Of course,” he said as he put his hands on both sides of my waist. “I don’t want people to think that you chose an ugly man as your husband.”

Bahagya akong natawa. “How very thoughtful of you.”

“I know, right?” sagot niya sa akin.

We got in the car. He loves this car. This was my gift to him when he officially won the election. It was a bullet proof Range Rover. He almost drooled when he saw the car. Pinigilan kong matawa sa reaction niya. He can be adorable sometimes.

Pagdating namin sa munisipyo ay marami ng tao roon. I stood there and watched as Archie began to lead. He didn’t know this, but he’s quite a good leader. Maybe he hasn’t realized it yet, but he likes helping people. Ako rin naman. I mean, it’s always a good karma tuwing makakatulong ka sa tao. But aside from good karma, I also want to use it as leverage. Wala namang masama kung gusto ko ring gawin ’yon. Ang mahalaga, nakakatulong pa rin ako.

Archie’s main team already mobilized different teams in charged with different things. May naka-assign na sa packing ng relief goods, sa temporary shelter, sa first aid, sa search and rescue, at sa kung anu-ano pa. I was actually quite impressed.

“Is it already done?” I asked Cheryl.

Tumango siya. “Nakaayos na po.”

“Alright,” I said. Dumating na kasi iyong media. I just wanted to make sure na kung sinuman ang maiinterview ay sasabihin nila kung gaano nila naaappreciate iyong pagiging handa ni Mayor Gallego sa ganitong kalamidad. I knew that the previous Mayor received quite the flack before dahil hindi sapat iyong relief goods sa dami ng nabiktima ng bagyo. So I made sure that this time, hindi na mangyayari iyon. I contacted one of my ninongs and asked for him to donate some to our town and he didn’t let me down. He sent ten trucks worth of canned goods and noodles na nilagay namin sa mga bag na pinamigay. Hindi ko sigurado kung magagamit ba lahat, but better safe than sorry. Mas mabuti na iyong may sobra kaysa kulang.

“I think you made a great decision,” Cheryl said.

“About what?”

“Not putting Mayor Gallego’s name on the relief packs.”

I gave her a curt nod. “It’s too on the nose,” I replied. “Politics is different now,” I continued. “We have to adapt with the times.”

Nakahanda naman na lahat kaya naman habang naghihintay ay tumulong ako sa pagpapamigay. These people were very thankful for very little. I love them. And I love how my training just naturally kicked in. And by the time I was already done ay halos hindi ko na ramdam iyong mukha ko sa pagngiti.

“You should eat,” I told Archie who had been working since 3AM. It’s already 4PM. Nakamasid lang ako kanina pa sa kanya and aside from three bottles of water that he finished, wala pa siyang kinakain na kahit ano.

“I’m fine,” he replied.

“Eat,” I sternly said. “Just a few bites.”

Tumingin siya sa akin. “Fine…” he said like some kid.

Naupo siya at saka nagsimulang kumain. I made sure that he knew that I was watching, so he finished every bite. Things calmed down… for a bit. Nasa gymnasium na iyong mga tao. Most of them were already settled in their temporary shelter aka the tents.

“Sana mahanap sila,” he said.

“The team’s working full time,” I replied.

“I know… I just wish they listened.”

Instead of answering, I just gently tapped his back. There’s a family who was living near the river. They were given plenty of warning na tataas iyong tubig, but they chose to stay for whatever reason.

And as expected, the water level rose up in the middle of the night. When they’re all sleeping. And now, the entire family’s missing.

I saw the camera pointing at our direction kaya naman pasimple kong inilagay iyong kamay ko sa pisngi ni Archie at marahan siyang tinignan. Archie looked so tired and defeated. Just the perfect photo for this tragedy.

That picture would end up in the headlines—I’d make sure of that.

---

At around 8PM, I finally convinced Archie to go home. I told him he needed to eat, take a shower, and then sleep. And when he’s well rested, babalik kami dito. Mas walang mangyayari kung pagod lang siya. Besides, this was the very reason kung bakit kami may team. It’s all about delegating.

“Go to sleep,” I told him. Nakahiga lang kami sa kama pero ramdam ko na gising pa rin siya.

“Trying,” he replied.

“Try harder.”

“The mom’s a housewife and the dad’s a trash collector, but despite that, he managed to send his kids to school. Pa-graduate na raw iyong panganay ng college,” he whispered. He’s still really bothered by the family.

I didn’t know what to say that’ll make him feel better. Kasi kung ano ang tatanungin, wala na iyong pamilya. It’s been almost a day. Wala pa ring balita. What were the chances na buhay pa rin sila? Plus, I don’t want to speak ill of the dead… but they were given warnings. Multiple warnings. They chose to stay.

“Do you think they’re gone?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I replied. The safe answer. I think they’re definitely gone, but he won’t hear that from me. Seeing how affected he was by this, I won’t choose to be the bearer of this bad news.

“You can’t save everyone,” I said instead.

He pulled me closer and I felt him sigh into me. “I’d still want to try.”

---

He set the alarm for 6AM at kahit na ganoon kaaga iyong alarm niya ay mas nauna pa rin siya. I told him to make me coffee while I checked the updates in the group message. Gusto ko kasi na kahit wala kami roon, kahit natutulog kami ay alam ko kung ano ang nangyayari palagi.

“Everything’s being managed well,” I told him. “We can have breakfast here.”

“Doon na lang,” he replied.

“No,” I said firmly. “You can spare twenty minutes to eat breakfast with me.”

Tumingin siya sa akin. “You don’t even eat breakfast.”

“I will today,” sabi ko sa kanya.

“Okay…” naguguluhan na sagot niya.

“You didn’t eat the whole day yesterday.”

“I did.”

“After I almost shoved the food down your throat.”

Nakatingin siya sa akin at biglang napa-ngisi. “Are you worried about me?” he asked in a teasing tone. I rolled my eyes. Humalakhak siya. “You are worried!”

Hindi ako nagsalita, pero ayaw niya akong tigilan. Tawa lang siya nang tawa na para bang galak na galak siya.

“What if I am? It’s normal that I’m worried.”

“Yeah, it is… because you care about me.”

“Sure.”

“And you love me.”

“If you say so.”

Humalakhak siyang muli. “I do say so.”

“Just toast the bread, please.”

“I will,” he said pero naglakad muna siya palapit sa akin at saka hinalikan iyong tuktok ng ulo ko. “I love it when you’re worried about me. I should skip meals more.”

I gave him a deadpan look.

He laughed.

He’s much happier as compared to yesterday, so that’s a win.

We had toast and eggs and coffee bago kami bumalik sa head quarters. The water level’s starting to go down kaya naman nabawasan na iyong mga tao. Ang susunod na kailangan namang gawin ay iyong clean up.

“Mayor!” biglang pagtawag kay Archie. Sabay kaming napatingin ni Archie sa tumawag sa kanya. “Nakita iyong anak na panganay. Nasa ospital ngayon!”

Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ni Archie. “Iyong pamilya?” he asked, but he was met with silence and a slow shaking of the head.

Archie made it a priority to visit the poor girl.

I made it a priority to inform the press.

“Be discreet,” I told Cheryl. Alam ko na ayaw ni Archie ng media, but this was a golden opportunity. I stood outside, letting Archie have his moment with that poor orphan. Nakaupo iyong babae sa kama at umiiyak habang nakaupo si Archie sa may gilid at hawak iyong kamay nung babae. The girl looked disheveled and distraught. Archie looked very sympathetic—the very image of man you’d want as a leader.

“This,” I said, as I stared at them, “This is the money shot.”

**

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Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Kakalabas ko pa lang ng kwarto ay agad kong nakita iyong mukha ni nakakunot na noo ni Archie habang may binabasang dyaryo. I paused and took a deep breath. I knew that he would not approve of this, but it’s needed. It was such a good headline. It was so hard to pass up on in opportunity to paint him as a knight in shining armor.

“Good morning,” I greeted as though I had no idea that his morning was far from good.

“Unbelievable,” he said as he continued to read the article. Palalim lang nang palalim iyong kunot ng noo niya.

“What is?” I asked as I walked towards the coffee maker and grabbed myself a mug.

“This headline,” sabi niya at saka pinakita sa akin iyong litrato.

Ah… that.

I was the one who approved that photo before it was sent to various newspaper company and tv stations. I also had the team email it to different online publications since we can reach a lot more with social media. Iba na talaga ang labanan ngayon. And since Abuela offered the opportunity for Archie to run for the Senate, it wouldn’t hurt kung makikilala na rin siya nationally.

“Oh,” was my only response.

Napailing na lang siya habang pinatong iyong dyaryo sa counter. “I can’t believe it. They really are vultures,” he said. Bless him if he really was mad because of the headline.

“Is the girl okay?” I asked.

“No,” he replied. “Why would she? She lost her entire family.”

He’s being very sensitive about this. Tumahimik lang ako. Ininom ko iyong kape. Archie grabbed his phone and read something.

“Shit,” he said.

“What is it?”

“Nakita na nila iyong bangkay.”

“Ng buong pamilya?”

Umiling siya. “Iyong sa magulang pa lang.”

“At the very least, there’s closure,” I offered as I reached for his hand and held it.

“I guess so…”

“We can go to the funeral,” I told him.

He looked at me like he was surprised that I even offered to do that. “You would do that?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yes, of course,” I said as I squeezed his hand tight. Tumingin siya sa akin at bahagyang ngumiti.

---

I told Archie to focus on his work and promised him that I would help that poor girl with the funeral of her parents. Archie sure did sound worried about the girl. This was important to him kaya naman kailangan kong ayusin ’to.

“That’s very nice to hear,” sabi ko kay Cheryl nang ireport niya sa akin iyong feedback sa litrato ni Archie. The approval rating was very promising. Kung magpapatuloy sa ganito ay hindi malabo na sa senado na nga ang susunod na destinasyon namin.

“I think we should hold on to the girl, Ma’am,” Cheryl said.

“I know,” I replied dahil bago pa man niya sabihin ’yan ay marami na akong plano para sa babae na ’yon. “What’s her name again?”

“Rosie,” Cheryl replied.

“Rosie…” I repeated as I leaned my head against the headrest of my seat.

“Do you need me to do a deep dive, Ma’am?”

“No need for now,” I replied. She’ll take whatever we’ll give her. After all, beggars can’t be choosers.

I already had Cheryl contact the funeral house para sa mga magulang ni Rosie—along with all the others na namatayan din nung kasagsagan ng bagyo. Hindi naman pwede na sina Rosie lang dahil alam ko na agad kung ano ang kakalat na balita sa lugar na ’to. People hate favoritism lalo na kung sila ang naagrabyado. Gusto nila kung ano ang meron ang iba, meron din sila. Kaya minsan, nakakaubos ng pera ang politika. And not defending the corrupt officials, but honestly, saan ba kukuhanin iyong pera na binibigay din?

Before going to Rosie’s parents’ funeral, dumiretso muna kami sa iba. Archie told me to go on his behalf. Nagsend na rin naman na ng bulaklak na may pangalan niya sa mga namatayan.

I introduced myself as Mayor Gallego’s wife. I didn’t care about the spotlight. I didn’t really care about introducing myself as Nadia de Marco, but these people already know me as such. They all looked so grateful for my mere presence. Bakit naman hindi? I took time off my precious day to visit them.

“Thank you,” I said as Cheryl poured alcohol on my hands nang makapasok na kami sa sasakyan. “Where are we going next?”

“Rosie’s.”

“Good,” I replied. “Is Archie on his way?” I asked because it was already 4PM. I had been going around the whole day. Nakakaubos ng oras din makipagkapwa tao.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Good,” I said. “The press?”

“Nandon na rin po.”

Pagdating namin sa funeral house ay nakita ko na agad iyong sasakyan ni Archie. Nauna na pala siya. Naglakad kami papasok sa loob. I haven’t told Archie yet about the plan to give a house to the poor girl and then help her finish school and even a job after. I was sure that he’d be pleased with it.

I heard the clicks of the camera habang papalapit ako. Nang makapasok ako ay agad kong nakita iyong babae na nakakayakap kay Archie. Her face was resting against his chest and his hands were caressing her back. Nakapulupot din iyong mga braso niya sa katawan ni Archie.

I looked at the press and they’re all taking photos of this.

‘Too close,’ I thought to myself.

Mabilis akong lumapit doon. Archie quickly saw me at bumitiw siya sa yakap nung babae.

“Condolences,” I told the girl.

She looked at me with those grief-stricken eyes. “Salamat po, Ma’am…” she said, her voice sounding hoarse and weak.

We took our seats. Katabi ko si Archie habang katabi naman ni Archie iyong babae. They were talking about something na hindi ko marinig dahil sobrang hina ng boses nung babae. It was fine by me. I heard enough sob stories today to last me the whole year.

Tahimik lang akong nakaupo roon at naghihintay kung anong oras kami uuwi. I had been out the whole day. I was used to being out but there’s something about today that was extra-draining. It must be probably due to the fact na puro patay at lamay ang pinuntahan namin. It’s so emotionally demanding to be around grieving people.

“Archie,” I called out to him when it was already 8PM.

“Hmm?” he replied.

“Are we not going home yet?” I asked. Wala naman dito iyong babae dahil may pinuntahan siya. Kanina pa sila magkausap na para bang hindi nauubusan ng sasabihin.

Napatingin si Archie sa relos niya. “Right…” he said. Tumingin siya sa akin. “Are you tired already?”

I nodded. “And hungry.”

“I’m sorry, love,” sabi niya. “Magpapaalam lang ako kay Rosie tapos uuwi na tayo.”

“Okay,” I replied.

I watched as Archie stood up and approached Rosie na nakatayo sa may malapit sa water dispenser. He said goodbye and Rosie gave him a weak smile. And there’s hugging again. Tumayo rin ako at lumapit doon.

“Condolences again, Rosie,” I said.

Muli siyang ngumiti sa akin. “Salamat po talaga, Ma’am, sa pagpunta niyo rito…”

“Of course,” I said as I reached for Archie’s hand and held it. “I’ll have my assistant reach out to you after the funeral.”

“Para saan po?”

“Nothing important,” I replied. “Just focus on the funeral.”

Nagpasalamat siyang muli at lumabas na kami ni Archie. Ramdam ko iyong tingin niya sa akin hanggang sa makarating kami sa sasakyan niya.

“What was that about?” he asked.

“What?”

“Iyong sinabi mo kay Rosie?”

“Oh, that,” I said, acting like it was no big deal kahit na alam ko na matutuwa siya sa akin kapag narinig niya iyong balak kong gawin. “I heard tha she lost her house, so I was thinking of providing her housing—at least until she gets back on her feet.” Napatingin ako kay Archie. “What?” I asked.

“What’s the angle?” he asked.

“What angle?”

“You’re doing this for optics,” he said.

“This housing?” I asked and shook my head. “No.”

“I don’t believe you.”

I shrugged. “Don’t care,” I replied. “The girl lost her whole family and basically her entire life. Besides, I’m not buying her a house. I’m just helping her with her rent for a year. It’s not that big of a deal.”

Slowly, a smile appeared on his face. “You’ll really do that?”

I shrugged. “Why not?”

“Just… unexpected of you.”

“Are you saying that you think I’m heartless?”

He laughed as he planted a kiss on my cheek. “A bit,” he said, “But you have your moments.”

Umirap ako. “Thank you,” I said, my tone dripping in sarcasm.

He laughed again. “Oh, I’m so tired,” he said as he rested his head on my shoulder. “I wanna eat with you, but I just want to hop on the shower and then sleep.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “I can eat alone.”

“I wanna have dinner with you,” he mumbled. His eyes were already closed.

“We can do that tomorrow.”

“We can have breakfast instead,” he said.

“Okay.”

“I promise I’ll wake up early and make your breakfast,” he said… or at least that’s what I thought he said because his eyes were already closes and he was just mumbling incoherently. 

**

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Chapter 15

Chapter 15

“You sometimes scare me when I look at you,” Addie told me.

“What? Why?” I asked, a bit confused—probably because I wasn’t really listening to what she was saying earlier. I was more focused on the calendar that was right in front of me. Patapos na kasi iyong pangalawang taon ng pagiging mayor ni Archie. This year needed to end perfectly. So far, wala namang naging malaking problema other than the usual gossip coming from the camp of the previous mayor. But that’s no big deal. Most of our constituents were pleased with Archie as their mayor—well, mostly because of the giveaways I organized. After all, who doesn’t love free things?

“You’re like Abuela,” she replied.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” I said.

Natawa siya. “Of course you will.”

“Why not?” sagot ko. “Look at our family,” I continued. “If not for her, probably half the men in our family would be in jail for concubinage.”

Muli siyang natawa. “Right…”

“Also, the future generation won’t ever have to worry about money,” I said, pertaining to the fact that there were lots of hidden accounts—probably some of those I’ll never hear about in this lifetime. I mean, it’s fine. I’ll just have my own ill-gotten wealth. Ayoko rin naman ng utang na loob. Kahit pa sabihin na pamilya kami, I still hated when the people in our family would remind me of the fact that if not for them, I wouldn’t be where I am.

“But why do I remind you of Abuela?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Just… how you’re basically the one who’s running the show.”

“Just organizing some programs,” I said.

Tumawa siya. “See? Humility doesn’t really suit you. Sounds so fake. Made my skin crawl,” she replied.

Natawa na rin ako. “I’m just practicing,” I told her. “My role is Archie’s dutiful wife.”

“Who in reality is the one running the show,” she replied.

I shrugged again. “You know I never really liked being in the spotlight—too many eyes on you,” I said. “See what happened with your brother—”

She groaned. “Can we not discuss that?”

I chuckled. “You started it,” I said.

“Whatever,” she replied. “Are you done now? Can we go to lunch now?”

“Yes, of course,” sabi ko habang nakatingin pa rin sa calendar. We just needed to do some more giveaways, of course, and attend some events. And we needed to organize another trip for the barangay captains. It doesn’t hurt to remind them where their loyalty lies. Oh, and we also needed to meet with potential business investors. The more business in this municipality, the better for everyone. I didn’t know why I had to remind Archie this. Hindi niya ata alam na tax mula sa business ang nagpapatakbo talaga sa lugar na ’to maliban sa budget mula sa national government.

“God, you really are like her,” she commented one more time bago ako napairap at napatayo na mula sa kinauupuan ko.

Addie and I went to have a late lunch. We didn’t discuss anything family or politics related—which meant that it was a very pleasant meal. Nagusap lang kami tungkol sa nangyari sa isang kakilala namin. We gossiped about her getting pregnant and having no idea about who the father is because apparently, she engaged in a group sex. That was actually a fun conversation.

It was already 5PM nang matapos kami ni Addie. Dumiretso na ako pauwi.

“Hi,” I said when I saw that Archie’s already home.

“How was Addie?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Same as always,” I replied.

I always used to ‘drag’ Archie with me during Sunday brunch. I used the term drag because there always used to have resistance on his part. I mean, I did get it. My family could be very rude when they want to—at least not the in your face kind of rude, but the kind of rude that will make you feel very unwelcomed. Suffice to say, he did not want to attend the Sunday brunch.

But he’s my husband.

He needed to come with me.

I used to bribe him like a kid para lang sumama sa akin. He used to pout, but after a while, he got used to it. Kahit ng lahat ng bagay, masasanay at masasanay ka rin kapag lagi mong ginagawa. And he did get closer to my cousins. He particularly liked Aspen and Psalm kaya naman naging mas madali na iyong pagsama ko sa kanya sa brunch.

“Still judgy?” he asked.

I looked at him. “I dare you to tell that to her face.”

Tumawa siya. “Not in my wildest dreams,” he replied. “Hey, we’re on for Saturday, right?”

Tumingin ako sa kanya. “The lunch?”

He nodded. “Yes. Ano’ng dadalhin natin na regalo? I was thinking of buying dad’s favorite whiskey.”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Wait, it’s your father’s birthday?”

Kumunot din ang noo niya. “Yes,” he replied. “Also, he’s not just my father—he is your father-in-law.”

I pursed my lips. “Right,” I said.

I had been with Archie for quite a while for me not to know na sign ’to na malapit na siyang mainis sa akin. This was a sign that I needed to tread carefully now.

“We’ll attend his birthday lunch this Saturday,” he said.

Hindi ako nakasagot agad. I scheduled a business lunch with Mr. Sy. It was very hard to get a schedule with him. My assistant had to make lots of calls to make this possible.

I wanted to answer already. I knew what I should answer. But… it’s just a birthday. What’s so special about it? Tumatanda naman talaga ang lahat ng tao bawat taon. There’s nothing extraordinary about it. But this meeting? This could be a game changer.

“May iba ba tayong pupuntahan?” he asked after a full minute passed at hindi pa rin ako nakakasagot.

Huminga ako nang malalim bago nagsimulang sumagot. “Lunch with Mr. Sy,” I answered. “We can go there first then go to your dad’s lunch,” I offered as an alternative.

Hindi siya sumagot.

But the way his jaw clenched was answer enough.

“Had I known that it was your father’s birthday, I wouldn’t have scheduled this lunch.”

Hindi pa rin siya sumagot.

I just looked at him.

I refused to let this day go nang hindi namin ’to naaayos. The thing with Archie was, he could really hold a grudge. Kapag hindi namin ’to naayos, dadalhin niya ’to hanggang pagkamatay niya.

Sometimes, it’s exhausting to be married to him. He’s too emotional.

“Don’t even try to lie to me,” he said. “I know you. You know everything.”

“Well, I don’t know everyone’s birthday.”

He scoffed. “Mukha ba akong tanga, Nadia?” he asked with a sharp tone. He’s pissed, almost angry. “Your assistant has everyone’s birthday—at least everyone you deem important. I know you send everyone flowers and whatever the fuck you send them kapag birthday nila. But what? My dad’s birthday isn’t important for you kaya hindi mo alam? O alam mo pero wala ka lang pakielam? Which is it?”

I pursed my lips together.

All this for a birthday?

Kung gusto ko ng sakit ng ulo, sana pala ay nakipagdebate na lang ako kay Addie tungkol sa pulitika at sa pamilya namin.

“Fine,” I said. “I’ll cancel with Mr. Sy—”

Mabilis siyang umiling. “No need,” he replied. “Go on that lunch and I’ll go to my father’s birthday.”

“Archie—”

“Please,” he said, cutting me off. “For once, let me decide on what I want to do,” he continued before he got up, grabbed his keys, and walked away.

What on earth did just happen?

---

Hindi umuwi si Archie nung gabing ’yon. I asked his security kung saan siya nagpalipas ng gabi and he said na nasa munisipyo lang naman daw si Archie. That’s fine. He just needed to cool off. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagalit siya. It’s fine to be pissed, but I didn’t understand why he had to be mad. I already offered to cancel the lunch with Mr. Sy. Hindi ko alam kung ano pa ang gusto niyang gawin ko.

Pagdating ko sa munisipyo ay nakita ko si Rosie. We helped her finish her last semester in school and right after that, Archie employed her as an assistant. I heard nothing but good things about her—as far as Archie’s included. He has a weirdly soft spot for this girl.

“Where’s Archie?” I asked.

“Nasa loob po, Ma’am,” she replied.

“With someone?”

Umiling siya. “Wala naman pong ka-meeting.”

“Great,” I said as I started to walk, pero agad na napakunot ang noo ko nang humarang siya sa harapan ko. “What are you doing?” I asked while she was standing in front of me.

She looked at me with an uncomfortable expression on her face. “Ma’am…” she began. “Sorry po… Sabi po kasi ni Arch—” she continued that made my brow arch. Since when did she go from Mayor Gallego to Arch?

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“Bawal daw pong magpapasok.”

“Bawal magpapasok o bawal akong pumasok?” I asked using my clipped tone. She looked at me with that same expression that told me that it was my presence that wasn’t welcomed.

“Move,” I said.

“Ma’am—”

“I said move,” I added.

She sighed with resignation as she got out of my way. Agad akong naglakad papasok sa opisina ni Archie. I opened the door and the first word that I heard was—

“Rosie,” he said with a gleeful tone at nawala iyong ngiti sa mukha niya nang makita niya ako.

“Sorry to disappoint,” I said.

Inilagay niya iyong dalawang kamay niya sa lamesa. “What do you want?” he asked like it was such a chore to talk to me, his wife.

“I don’t like fighting,” I said.

“Since when?” he asked.

“Can you please stop with the tone?”

“What tone?”

Tumitig ako sa kanya. I did not have time for this—I did not have energy for this. I had been working non-stop para lang maging mabango ang pangalan niya. Did he seriously think na basta na lang dumadating iyong mga donasyon dito? O iyong mga business investment? Opportunity?

I never asked for a thank you, but being appreciated would be nice.

“I cancelled with Mr. Sy,” I said.

“I never asked you to did that.”

“Well, you gave me no choice when you walked away last night.”

“I just wanted a good sleep.”

“And you couldn’t do that in our bed?”

“No,” he quickly said.

“Oh, so it’s more comfortable here?”

Tumingin siya sa akin. “Are you stalking me?”

“Stalking?” I asked. “You’re talking to me like I am not your wife.”

“Oh… are you? Because most times, you feel more like my manager.”

I briefly closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I bit my tongue because I knew that if I continue to engage in this conversation, walang magandang mangyayari.

“I will see you tonight,” I told him.

Hindi siya sumagot.

“Tonight, Archie, or I will have your security drag you back home.”

Natawa siya. “There she is…” he said as he leaned back on his swivel chair and clasped his hands together. “There is my controlling wife.”

Muli akong huminga nang malalim. “I don’t know what is it with you today, but I did not come here to fight,” I told him.

“Yes, we never fight because all we really talk about is politics and how I’ll be president one day.”

“Well, don’t you want to be president one day?” Hindi siya nakasagot. “You do, don’t you?” I said. I looked at him with an empty expression on my face. “Yet I never once got a thank you coming from you.”

Muli akong tumingin sa kanya.

“I will see you later for dinner,” I said as I prepared to leave. I saw that he still had a lot of things he wanted to tell me, but this was not the place to argue—not when there were lots of ears listening.

Paglabas ko ay agad kong nakita si Rosie. With the expression on her face, I knew that she heard the conversation.

“Next time, I’d appreciate some privacy while I’m talking with my husband,” I told her as I walked past her. 

**

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Chapter 16

Chapter 16

I didn’t understand why Archie was struggling more than usual.

It had been two weeks since we had that fight—or more appropriately, he had that fight because I had no intention to argue with him. We ended up going to his father’s birthday lunch, but even then, he didn’t bother to pretend that everything’s fine with us. When I asked him about it, he said that what was the matter? It wasn’t as if we had to pretend in front of his family. Hindi naman iyon publiko na kailangan naming magpanggap palagi na masaya kami.

I seriously didn’t understand why he was being like this.

“Good morning,” I greeted when he finally got out of the room. Gumising ako nang maaga para maghanda ng almusal. I made him fried rice, bacon, eggs, longganisa, and freshly brewed coffee. For the past few weeks, kape lang ang iniinom niya bago siya pumasok sa trabaho.

“Morning,” he greeted back with a small nod.

“I made breakfast,” I said kahit na halata naman dahil nakaayos na iyon sa lamesa. He just looked at it. “Let’s have breakfast,” I continued.

“I’m already running late,” sabi niya kahit hindi naman siya tumingin sa relo niya. He was not

running late.

“Then be late,” I said. Bahagya siyang natawa. That was the first expression other than his forehead being creased that I had seen in weeks. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replied. “It was just weird. You’re the one who always told me that works come first all the time.”

I pursed my lips and took a deep breath. The thing with marriage was, you can’t be both mad at the same time. Obviously, he’s pissed—still—kaya naman mas dapat kong habaan ang pasensya ko.

“Not all the time,” I said.

“So, may exception?” he asked, taunting me.

“Archie, please,” I said using the calmest tone I could muster. “Can we just have breakfast? Please?”

Nakatingin siya sa akin na para bang iniisip niya pa kung ano ang dapat niyang gawin. I was staring at him back. If we’re indeed fighting, then this was me waving the white flag. I choose my battles, and this was definitely not one worth fighting for. Siya lang naman ang may problema sa akin.

“Fine,” he said as he took the seat opposite to mine.

Tahimik siyang naglagay ng kanin at ulam sa plato niya. I was just watching him as he ate. Thankfully, hindi naman siya nagmamadaling kumain. Maybe that’s a sign.

“Papanoorin mo lang ba ako?” he asked.

“Maybe,” I said. “I hadn’t had the chance to look at your face for the past weeks.”

I saw how his ears began to redden. At least alam ko na apektado pa rin siya sa akin. “You see me all the time,” he said, slightly scoffing.

“Barely,” I replied. “Maybe for a minute in the morning as you pour yourself a cup of coffee and then immediately leave for work.”

He shrugged. “Point still stands—nakikita mo ako araw-araw.”

Tumingin ako sa kanya at bumuntong-hininga. “Aren’t you getting tired of this?” I asked him. “Because I am tired of this.”

Seconds passed and I saw him sigh.

“Fine,” he said. “Truce.”

Umiling ako. “No truce,” I replied.

Mabilis na kumunot ang noo niya. “What do you want from me, then?”

“I don’t want to fight,” I said. “But I also don’t want truce. That’s just a pause. The issue is still there, lingering.”

“What do you want?” he asked again.

“To go back to normal.”

Bahagya siyang natawa. “When was it ever normal between us, Nadia?” tanong niya. “You came to me with this… absurd proposal. I said yes and then we got engaged and married,” he continued. “We were hardly ever normal in my book.”

I took another deep breath to compose myself. I didn’t understand why he was being so difficult. Things were working… until they weren’t. And now I felt like I was walking on a landmine.

“That’s fair…” I said. “What do you want, then?” I asked back.

His jaw clenched a little. “I want marriage,” he said. “God, you never really listen to me, do you?” naiinis na sabi niya. Ramdam na ramdam ko iyong inis niya sa bawat salitang lumalabas sa bibig niya.

“I already told you I didn’t mean to schedule—”

“Hindi lang ’yon,” he said, effectively cutting my off. Bahagyang napaawang ang labi ko.

“Did you just cut me off?”

“Yes,” he said. “You don’t always get the final say in this partnership.”

Bahagya akong natawa. “Oh, so now you’re calling this a partnership. I thought you wanted marriage, Archibald?” I asked, staring directly into his eyes. “This is marriage,” I continued. “It’s talking things through when things get hard—not hiding in your office like some coward.”

I knew that I struck a nerve nang makita kong kumuyom ang kamao niya. That’s good. At least I was getting a reaction from him. This was far better than him evading me for days. And who knew? Baka umabot pa iyon ng buwan. I was surprised with how good this guy was at handling grudges.

“Fine,” he said as he glared at me. “Let’s talk.”

“Finally,” I replied, not backing down.

“You wanna know my biggest problem with you is?”

“By all means,” I said and that made him clench his jaw. Nakita ko kung paano niya bahagyang ipikit ang mga mata niya at huminga siya nang malalim na para bang nagiipon siya ng pasensya para sa akin.

“You say you’re committed to this marriage, yet you never really showed it to me,” he said.

Muli akong huminga nang malalim. “I am committed to this marriage,” I replied. “What did I ever do that made you think otherwise?” I asked. “Aside from what happened with my father-in-law’s birthday?” muling tanong ko. I knew he didn’t appreciate the sarcasm in my voice. I probably should stop using this tone with him—at least not at this moment. But damn, this guy could push my buttons! And I hated that he could do this to me. I always liked being in control and I was hated every second of this because I knew in my head that I was not in control.

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

He took few deep breaths.

He’s really pissed at me.

“You are, Nadia,” he said, trying his best to be calm. Tumingin siya sa akin. “You don’t need me to list things down. Between the two of us, you know what your priority really is.”

And it was my turn to calm down.

This was good.

At least we’re finally communicating.

“To get us to Malacañang,” I replied. “Wasn’t that the goal right from the beginning?” Bahagya siyang tumango. “Then what’s the problem?”

Hindi siya sumagot.

Hindi ako gumalaw.

I wouldn’t move until I get an answer from him.

“I fell in love, that’s the fucking problem,” he said, his eyes looking at anywhere but mine.

“With who?” I asked.

Mabilis niyang ibinaling ang tingin sa akin. “With you. Who else?” tanong niya na may bahagyang inis.

I didn’t even have a reply.

My mouth just parted.

I knew he loved me.

I knew it.

It was obvious.

But there was something about hearing it—

“I love you,” he continued, effectively destroying my train of thoughts until all I could think about were those three words he just uttered.

Kumunot ang noo niya. “Why do you look so surprised?” he asked. Mas lalong lumalim ang pagkunot ng noo niya. “Kulang na lang ay maglatag ako ng carpet sa dadaanan mo,” he continued. “Hindi mo ba talaga nahalata?”

I took another deep breath.

Okay.

I shouldn’t mess up now.

His mood got much better.

“I know,” I replied. “I just…” I looked right into his eyes. “I guess I just don’t know how to act.”

Muling kumunot ang noo niya. “How to act?”

“When someone loves me,” I replied.

“What?” he asked, sounding confused. “Surely, it’s not the first time someone fell in love with you.”

I gave him a slight shrug.

“Come on,” he said. “Look at you,” he continued. “Guys must be falling at your feet every day.”

Bahagya akong umirap. “I remember you calling me crazy the day we first met,” sabi ko.

Natawa siya. “I did say that.”

“Guys don’t just fall in love with me,” I said.

“Well, you are pretty intimidating.”

“Don’t care,” I replied. “I won’t lower myself for anybody. If you want me, rise to my level.”

He slightly arched his brow. “See? That’s what confuses me. Why me of all people?”

Tumingin ako nang diretso sa kanya. “Why not you?” balik ko sa tanong niya.

He stared into my eyes. “I don’t really know,” he replied. “But… but I guess you saw something in me that nobody else did…”

Hindi ako nagsalita.

“And I am thankful,” he said. “Immensely,” he continued. “And I know I should be contented and thankful for everything that you did for me… But Nadia, I want more. I know this is selfish of me, but I need more from you.”

Nanatili akong nakatingin lang sa kanya.

“I know that it’s part of our deal, but I can’t live everyday knowing that you care more about politics than me,” he said. “And please don’t deny it because it’s true. Tuwing magkausap tayo, laging doon napupunta. Kapag nasa labas tayo, saka mo lang ako hahawakan kapag alam mong may ibang nakatingin.”

I pressed my lips together as he continued to tell me things he didn’t like about me.

“Are you done?” I asked as I stood there while he pointed out everything that he thought was wrong with me.

Marahan siyang umiling. “No, I’m not,” he said as he slightly shook his head. “Despite all those, I still want a marriage from you.”

I took a deep breath as I bit my tongue for a second.

“Define what marriage is, Archie,” I said, “Because from my end, I feel like what we have is a perfectly normal marriage.”

“We have been married for almost two years now,” he said.

“I know.”

“When are we having kids?”

Bahagyang napaawang ang labi ko.

“You said we’ll have kids,” he continued.

I quickly gathered myself before this conversation gets out of hand.

“Well, certainly not now,” I said. “Not when we’re like this.”

Tumingin siya nang diretso sa mga mata ko. “And whose fault is that?”

I clenched my jaw. “Are you done pointing fingers now?” I asked. “I’m tired of going around in circle with you.”

“I’m tired, too.”

“Just tell me what you want me to do.”

“I want kids.”

Hindi ako nakapagsalita.

There was nothing but complete silence surrounding us.

“Do you think kids will fix this issue?” I asked him.

“Maybe,” he replied.

“Maybe? That’s your answer and you still want to add children into this equation?” tanong ko sa kanya.

“Do you seriously think that our parents had perfect marriage before they waited to have kids?” tanong niya habang nakatingin sa akin. “I just want a family with you, Nadia…” he said. Nanatili akong tahimik. “And you said it yourself before—we needed to be that perfect family bago tayo makarating sa Malacañang. Now’s the perfect time, don’t you think?”

I took a deep breath.

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s start a family.”

**

This story is already at Chapter 19 on beeyotch.ph and patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance if you want to pay via GCASH. As of the moment, credit and debit cards can be used directly when paying in the site :) Thank you!

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

“Did you ask to see me just to insult me?” Addie asked.

“No, not at all,” I replied. “I’m just thinking out loud.”

“At the expense of my family?”

I shrugged. “Not my fault that your family’s a great example,” I told her.

Ever since I told Archie that I was willing to start a family with him, things went back to normal… kinda. But I also knew that I needed to hold up to my end of the bargain. I wanted to have a family with him—it was on the calendar. I just wasn’t sure if this was the right time. Also, when I told him about us having kids before, I did tell him that a surrogate would carry the baby, not me. But knowing what I know about him, I knew that he would not be open to the idea. I know a lot of people who do this. But Philippines being the country that it is, I knew that most people would raise a brow to this idea kaya naman kahit na surrogate ang magdadala ay magsusuot pa rin ako ng moon bump.

This was becoming more complicated than intended.

“On one hand, having kids seems like a great idea—exhibit A, Maven,” I said since that woman would forever have a hold over Maven because of that kid. “On the other hand… your mom,” I continued with a slight shaking of my head.

“Wow, thanks.”

I chuckled a little. “I did not hear a disagreement on your part.”

Addie rolled her eyes. “My dad’s something else.”

“I mean, aren’t all the men in our family?”

“True that,” Addie said as she raised her glass. “But… will you be a good mom?”

“The baby will be well provided,” I replied.

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Napailing si Addie. “Can’t you control him without putting an innocent child into the situation?” she asked. “The guy’s obviously head over heels in love with you.”

Hindi ako nakasagot agad.

“Surely, you can use that to your advantage.”

“Maybe.”

“Jere is only beneficial to Avery because she did something horrible…” Addie said. “Unless you’re planning on doing something like that as well, I think you can dispense with the idea of having a kid like it’s some bargaining chip?”

I shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

Napailing siyang muli. “Just think about this again,” sabi niya. “Bargaining chip or not, this child’s going to be your child as well. I don’t think you understand that.”

I didn’t know why I was asking Addie for her opinion. Bata pa lang ako ay alam ko na na magkakaroon ako ng pamilya. It’s part of the package, anyway. Dating, engagement, marriage, family—all these to get to the top. Alam ko na ’yan kaya bakit ba nagdadalawang-isip ako ngayon?

I tried to focus on work. I needed to finish these before I go home. Ayaw ni Archie nang nagsasabi ako ng kahit ano tungkol sa trabaho. It pisses him off for some reason. I wanted to ask him why, but at the same time, I didn’t want to open a can of worms. I worked hard for this peace and I didn’t want it to be disturbed for as long as humanly possible.

“He’s just been swamped with work, Ma’am,” Cheryl said.

“That’s it?”

She nodded. “Yes, Ma’am.”

I also did ask Cheryl to keep an eye out on that girl Rosie. I mean, sure, nakakaawa naman talaga iyong nangyari sa kanya, but I couldn’t help but think that she’s nothing but bad news. And normally, I would just brush it off. It’s just a silly crush, anyway. But we’re so close to the end of Archie’s term. The stakes are much higher. I wouldn’t let her silly crush get in the way of my dreams.

“Just keep me updated,” I said.

I still couldn’t get rid of her. She’s always a good reminder of how good of a leader Archie can be… but at the same time… those hugs that linger?

She needed to be watched.

I continued working. While I was in the middle of reading proposals for campaign, bumukas iyong pinto. I didn’t bother to look at who got in because I did ask Cheryl to grab me a cup of coffee from my favorite café.

“What is it that you’re reading that’s so interesting?”

Agad na napatingin ako nang marinig ko iyong boses na ’yon. Nakita ko si Archie na nakatayo sa may harap ng pintuan. His arms were folded against his chest. He looked so good with his ‘uniform.’ He’s wearing a black slacks and light blue polo—a little more formal than his usual polo shirt na sinuot niya nung election.

“Is it five already?” I asked.

Umiling siya. “Just needed to take a break.”

“From the meeting?”

He nodded. “I feel like I’m developing a migraine,” he said.

I stood up from my chair and sat on the couch. Agad na sumunod sa akin si Archie. I was slightly taken aback nang pagkasyahin niya iyong sarili niya at humiga sa couch habang nakapatong iyong ulo niya sa mga hita ko.

“Here, I thought you’re perfect from all angles,” sabi niya habang nakatingin sa akin mula sa direksyon na iyon.

I quickly covered his face with both my hands at rinig na rinig ko iyong halakhak niya.

“I was kidding!” he said nang tanggalin niya iyong mga kamay ko at imbes ay hinawakan iyon. “Of course you’re perfect—aside from the occasional mood swings.”

I arched my brow. “ I have mood swings?“

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“You’re the one who have mood swings,” I told him.

“You have more mood swings,” he replied.

“You’re the one who didn’t talk to me for weeks.”

“I still said goodbye bago ako umalis.”

“That’s not considered talking,” I replied.

“Still, it wasn’t complete silence from my end.”

Napairap ako. “Sure,” I said. “Why are you here, really?”

He sighed as he closed his eyes. Sinabi niya sa akin na literal na sumasakit na iyong ulo niya dahil sa mga nagpupunta sa opisina niya. Most of them were asking for ‘favors.’ And I knew that Archie didn’t like getting favors because he knew that one way or another, he’d have to give it back. He said that he didn’t want to be like his dad. Ewan ko. So, I just took it upon myself to do the ‘hard’ part.

He didn’t like getting his hands dirty… but he sure did like being in power.

Archie could be a hypocrite sometimes.

“Just checking,” he said.

I arched my brow. “Really…”

He nodded. “Just checking if you’re feeling nauseous…”

“Why would—” agad akong napahinto nang maintindihan ko kung ano ang tinutukoy niya. “I am not pregnant, Archie.”

“Yet,” he replied like a stubborn child.

“I took pregnancy test earlier,” I told him. He bought a box. Kung siya lang ang masusunod ay gagamitin ko iyon araw-araw. I just put water on it para mag-negative. I was still taking pills behind his back, but even I know that it doesn’t always work 100%.

“Yes, I know, but it can always be a false negative, right?” sabi niya at muling dinilat ang mga mata niya.

“Can be,” I replied.

He shifted his position hanggang sa iyong mukha niya ay kaharap na iyong tiyan ko. He was staring at it like he was trying to put a baby inside me magically.

“Archie,” I called.

“Hmm?”

“Will you get disappointed if I can’t get pregnant?”

Nakita ko iyong pagkunot ng noo niya. Hindi agad siya sumagot. Napaupo siya at humarap sa akin.

“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice serious this time.

I slightly shrugged. “What if I can’t get pregnant?”

“Can’t?”

I nodded. “Can’t,” I repeated. “If I have problem internally… or something,” I continued.

Of course I would never tell him about my intense dread of the thought of me being pregnant. I just didn’t see the appeal. Kahit hindi naman ako ang magdala ng bata, anak ko pa rin ’yon. It’s still my DNA. But I knew that Archie would never approve of that unless I have a legitimate reason.

“We’ll both get checked,” he said.

“What?”

“We’ll get medical opinion,” sabi niya. “At kung may problema ang isa sa ’tin… then we’ll think about other options.”

My heart was slightly racing inside my chest. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kinakabahan ako. Bakit nga ba ako kinakabahan sa kanya? Since when did I start to worry about his opinion? Dati ay ang iniisip ko lang ay kung paano siya papaikutin.

“Options such as?”

He shrugged. “IVF?”

I arched a brow. “You know about IVF?”

He shrugged again. “Been reading about it…”

“And why are you reading about it?”

Hindi siya agad sumagot, pero hindi ako tumigil sa pagtitig sa kanya hanggang sa makakuha ako ng sagot.

“Fine,” he said, slightly rolling his eyes. Minsan, ang arte niya. “It’s just that we’ve been having a lot of sex,” he continued. “And I mean a lot. “

It was my turn to roll my eyes.

“Hey!” he said like he was offended. “Pagod ako sa trabaho, pero nagagawa ko pa rin ’yon. If anything, I deserve an applause.”

I arched my brow once more. “Really? You want me to applaud you?”

He shrugged. “I mean, I did give you some of the best performances of my life…”

“Oh, so some of the other performances, you gave to someone else?”

Mabilis na napaawang ang labi niya. He looked like he was confused with how the conversation turned into that. I mean, I was raised in a family where words are often used as ammunition. There’s a reason why most of us, at least the ones from the de Marco side, ay hindi mahilig magsalita. It’s not just because we don’t like talking—it’s more like our own words have been used against us a lot of times that it had taught us that silence is more often the better choice.

“Wait what?” he asked, confusion still evident on his face.

“Don’t bother,” I said. “I knew you were quite a slut before.”

His eyes widened. “A slut?”

I nodded. “Yes, a slut.”

“Wow…”

“It’s fine. Past is past,” I said.

“You really had me investigated.”

“Yes,” I replied. “I never denied that.”

Napatitig siya sa akin. Tapos ay napangiti. This weirdo.

“I have no idea why that just sounded so… hot.”

I rolled my eyes. “Because you’re a psycho,” I said. “You like to think that between the two of us, I’m the insane one, but we both know that deep inside, it’s really you.”

Napahalakhak siya.

“Our baby doesn’t stand a chance,” he said. “Two psychos for parents.”

I stared at him.

Nawala iyong ngiti niya.

And then he held my hands.

“IVF, surrogacy,” he said, “I’d say adoption, too, but I seriously don’t think your family’s gonna be welcoming.”

I nodded. “Yes, I don’t think so, too.”

“So, if we can’t get pregnant by ourselves, we’ll explore other options,” he said as he caressed my knuckles with his thumbs.

“Okay,” I replied.

“Okay,” he said. He looked at me and smiled. “See? We can solve our problems only if we talk things through.”

I nodded. “Right.”

“So whatever happens, good or bad, just tell me.”

“Okay.”

“No secrets.”

“Okay.”

“Great,” he said and then quickly planted a kiss on my lips before standing up. “Now, I have to go back dahil baka nagpapatayan na sila roon.”

“Dinner later with my family,” I said.

“Already dreading it,” he replied before he got out. Napailing na lang ako at natawa. 

**

This story is already at Chapter 20 on beeyotch.ph and patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance if you want to pay via GCASH. As of the moment, credit and debit cards can be used directly when paying in the site :) Thank you!

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

This was definitely not the day to get sick.

There’s a program this afternoon that I needed to attend with Archie tapos ay may business dinner pa kaming kailangang puntahan sa gabi. Not to mention the other appointments that I needed to go to this morning.

“Do you need me to get you anything?” Cheryl asked.

“Just a bottle of water,” I quickly replied.

Sumandal ako sa couch at bahagyang pinikit ang mga mata ko. I could still go to those appointments. Hindi naman masyadong mahalaga iyon, but I still wanted to go. I try not to cancel appointments as much as possible because for me, it’s a sign of disrespect. Also, I don’t agree to just meet with everyone. There’s almost always something there for me, so it’s better if I attend.

Also, I would not like it if it’s done to me, too. Importante ang oras ko.

“Thank you,” I said nang iabot niya sa akin iyong tubig.

I just ignored as Cheryl watched me like I grew three heads. Nang makatayo ako ay ganoon pa rin ang tingin niya sa akin.

“What?” I asked, a bit irritated.

Mabilis siyang umiling. “Nothing,” she replied.

I resisted the urge to rolled my eyes at her. “What’s our first agenda?” I asked.

That morning, we attended three different meetings. It was fruitful. I mean, I wasn’t expecting any quick result. I was more of establishing connections. In this world, it’s all about connections. Kaya nga kahit mas gusto kong nasa condo lang ako, I still attend events—especially those attended by the right people. Even in college, I go to parties not for the sake of having fun, but for the sake of meeting people… and also, hearing some things that I know I can use in the future.

A little leverage never hurts anyone.

Nang matapos kami sa mga meeting namin ay dumiretso na kami sa office ni Archie. He said he wanted to see me first bago kami dumiretso sa auditorium. May awarding kasi sa mga bagong pasa ng board exams. It was a tradition here in the municipality. It was nice. I also suggested that the top 10 graduates of all batches be given monetary compensation. The parents did love that. Archie gets a high approval rating. It’s a win-win for everyone.

“Hey,” Archie said nang makita niya ako.

“Hi,” I replied.

“Productive morning?”

I nodded. “I suppose so,” I said.

“Paparating na ’yung lunch,” he told me. “Kain muna tayo bago ’yung program dahil medyo matagal ’yon.”

I was feeling tired from being all over town kaya naman naupo muna ako. Sandali kong isinandal iyong ulo ko. I just wanted to rest my eyes for a while dahil gusto kong magbasa ng article, but after some time, I felt someone gently nudging me.

“Love…” I heard someone say.

Idinilat ko ang mga mata ko. “I fell asleep,” I stated.

Bahagyang natawa si Archie. “Yeah, you did. Ilang meeting ba ang pinuntahan niyo?”

“Three,” I replied as I straightened out my back. I wanted to yawn and to stretch my arms but I saw Rosie sitting on the couch by the far right. I didn’t want to be too comfortable in front of her.

He slightly nodded. I agreed that it wasn’t a lot of meeting. I normally go to five meetings. I was just tired because we’ve been having a lot of sex—

Shit.

Agad na napatingin sa akin si Archie habang bahagyang nakakunot ang noo. He was watching the expression on my face. I felt how the beating of my heart quickened its pace, how my breathing started to deepen.

Huminga ako nang malalim.

I needed to act normal.

Maybe I was just tired.

I was just in my head.

Or maybe I was just scared.

God, I needed to vomit.

“Okay ka lang ba?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said as normal as I could possibly do. I forced a smile on my face, but I shouldn’t have because now, he’s looking at me weirdly. “Just a bit tired,” I continued. “One of the meetings took longer than expected.”

Dahan-dahan siyang tumango pero alam ko na hindi siya naniwala sa sinabi ko. I couldn’t blame him. He’s been practically dragging me every morning to the CR for me to take the pregnancy test. I was sure he’s got a list of symptoms and he’s watching my every movement.

“Okay…” he said, still sounding like he’s doubting me.

Pasimple akong huminga nang malalim. Nakaupo lang ako roon at pilit na iniintindi iyong binabasa ko sa phone ko nang pumasok iyong nagdala ng pagkain.

A pungent smell immediately attacked my nose.

Shit.

I wasn’t liking where this was heading.

Ramdam ko pa rin iyong tingin sa akin ni Archie kaya naman kahit na halos gusto kong masuka sa amoy ay pilit akong umarte ng normal.

“Kain na tayo,” he said.

“Okay,” I replied as I breathed calmly and told myself to hold it in.

Tumayo ako at naglakad papunta sa lamesa. Archie prepared the food for me. I was holding my breath in. I used to like this food, but it smelled so horrible right now.

“Okay ka lang ba?” he asked again.

I nodded. “Still a bit tired.”

“Kaya mo bang umattend pa?”

“Of course,” I said. “I’ll be seated down, anyway.”

“Sure ka?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Okay…”

Nang nasa iba ang atensyon niya ay saka ako huminga nang malalim. Nakita kong nakatingin sa akin si Rosie nang mapalingon ako sa gawi niya. I arched my brow at her. I didn’t need anyone else watching my every move like a hawk. Archie’s enough as it was.

“Hindi ba masarap?” Archie said when he noticed that I barely touched the food.

“No,” I replied. “Did they change the chef?”

He shrugged. “No idea,” sagot niya. “Parang pareho pa rin naman…”

“Tastes different,” I said, doubling down kahit wala naman talagang nagbago sa lasa… siguro. I could not focus on the smell, let alone the taste of this food.

My original plan was to just shove the food down my throat, but I really couldn’t kaya naman iba na lang ang nasabi ko. Buti na lang may nasabi ako dahil hindi ako makapagisip. I was too focused on the smell and the thought of not hurling in front of my already suspicious husband.

I managed to finish a quarter of the food and just finished the bottle of water. Thankfully ay magsisimula na iyong program. Hindi ako makahinga nang maayos habang nakatingin siya sa akin na para bang alam niya iyong tumatakbo sa isip ko.

“Sigurado ka?” he asked once again habang naglalakad kami papunta sa auditorium.

“Yes,” I said. “Please don’t start to be an overbearing husband.”

Nakita ko iyong pagsibol ng ngiti sa mukha niya.

“Why are you smiling?” I asked dahil wala namang ka-ngiti-ngiti sa sinabi ko.

“Nothing,” he said, but he was grinning like an idiot. “Sarap lang pakinggan ng salitang husband. “

I rolled my eyes. “You are my husband.”

“I know,” he replied. “Still… it’s nice to hear confirmation from you.”

“I did sign the marriage certificate. That was confirmation enough from my end.”

Humalakhak siya. “Ang sweet mo talaga.”

Pagdating namin sa auditorium ay nagsimula na agad iyong program. I showed them my rehearsed smile. Sometimes, I couldn’t even tell kung ano iyong totoo kong ngiti sa hindi. I’m a pro at this already.

After a while, I felt so nauseous. Mabuti na lang at nakaupo lang ako kaya naman nang matapos iyong program ay agad akong nagpaalam para umalis na. Thankfully, naharang si Archie ng mga tao kaya naman kinailangan niyang manatili muna sa auditorium. The few minutes of being alone was more than welcomed.

Patuloy lang akong naglakad hanggang sa wala ng tao sa paligid ko. Sumandal ako sa pader at saka huminga nang malalim.

If I wasn’t pregnant, I might be seriously sick dahil ang sama talaga ng pakiramdam ko. And at this point, I didn’t know which was worse.

I did some breathing exercise and was trying to focus on that when my phone rang.

“I think I might be pregnant,” agad na sabi ko nang sagutin ko iyong tawag ni Addie.

“Congratulations?” sagot niya. “Or… sorry to hear that?” she continued. “Choose the response you want.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t need the sarcasm now.”

Natawa siya. “Fine,” she said. “Did you go to the doctor yet?”

“No.”

“So… you just feel like you’re pregnant?”

“No… more like I know that I’m pregnant.”

“How sure?”

“Alarmingly sure,” I replied.

“Oh… Isn’t this what you want?” she asked. “To control little Mr. Mayor?”

Napahawak ako sa ulo ko dahil parang mahahati iyon sa dalawa sa sobrang sakit. “Not now,” I said. “And not by me. You know I always wanted surrogacy.”

“I know, but what if you’re really pregnant?” she asked. “Will you terminate?”

“Maybe…” I said. “I don’t know.”

Can I really abort?

Pero hindi pa naman siya tao.

It’s just… a bunch of cells inside my stomach.

God, why was I even thinking about this? Should’ve had my tubes tied, but no, my doctor didn’t want to dahil baka raw magbago pa ang isip ko at bata pa ako at magsisisi daw ako. I should’ve come back years later and demanded it.

My body, my rules.

Besides, I didn’t change my mind. I still didn’t want kids… at least iyong galing sa katawan ko. Bakit ba kasi kailangan na ako iyong magbuntis? Na para bang iyan lang ang role ko sa buhay. That mindset makes me really mad.

And now, I’m in this situation.

Bakit kasi hindi na lang irespeto ang gusto ko?

“But hopefully it doesn’t have to come to that,” I said.

“Hopefully—”

Pero hindi ko na narinig ang sumunod na sinabi niya nang makita ko si Rosie na nakatayo ilang metro lang mula sa akin at nakatingin na para bang nakakita siya ng multo.

What the hell did she think she heard? 

**

This story is already at Chapter 21 on beeyotch.ph and patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance if you want to pay via GCASH. As of the moment, credit and debit cards can be used directly when paying in the site :) Thank you!

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Fuck my doctor.

Seriously, fuck her for not respecting my wishes back then.

“Are you sure?” I asked once again.

“Yes, Nadia,” muli niyang sabi sa akin. “You did take the pregnancy test. We did blood work. You are pregnant.”

Fuck.

Fuck.

My mind was just screaming fuck.

Naramdaman ko iyong panlalamig ng buong katawan ko kahit na alam ko naman na bago pa ako pumunta rito na buntis ako. This is my body. Of course I’d know if something’s different about it. Lagi akong pagod. Lagi akong inaantok. That wasn’t my normal. At alam ko na nagtataka na rin si Archie if not for the negative pregnancy test results that I kept on giving him.

“How do you want to proceed?” she asked me.

“Terminate,” I replied like it was a reflex.

“Do you want to discuss this with your husband first?”

“No.”

Natigilan siya sa tono ng boses ko. I briefly closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I felt like suffocating. The term’s about to end. It’s been great, if I may say so myself. Archie performed better than expected—of course with a lot of help from my end dahil saan ba manggagaling lahat ng suportang nakukuha niya? But that’s not important now. I needed to decide if we’re running for senate or congress. I knew that the next time I see Abuela, I’d need to give her an answer.

This pregnancy’s not wanted now more than ever.

I needed to keep my eyes on the prize.

Presidency—that’s always been the end game for me. It’s my end all be all.

My doctor advised me to talk to a therapist first kung ayaw kong kausapin si Archie. Seriously, what’s wrong with this country? Kung ayaw kong magbuntis, why do they make it their business? My body, my rules. I hated explaining myself for something that should be my own decision.

I could hardly concentrate on anything. Gusto ko nang umuwi, pero ayokong makita si Archie. Gusto ko ring pumunta sa Tagaytay, but I needed to be in Manila dahil baka may biglang kailangan akong gawin.

Maybe I should just go to a hotel.

Right.

Sasabihin ko na lang kay Archie na may kailangan akong gawin sa probinsya o kung anuman. I really just couldn’t be around him. He always looks at me like he knew that I was hiding something and I could not lie right now. I was not in the right headspace.

I headed straight to Manila Pen. I was wearing a pair of sunglasses that almost covered my whole face. Wala ako sa mood makipagusap sa kahit na sino ngayon.

“Thank you,” I said when the keycard was given to me.

I stayed in the hotel bar first habang chine-check pa ng security ko iyong kwarto. I sat on the farthest end, hoping that it’s clue enough na wala ako sa mood makipagsocialize… but of course, someone still sat by my side and tried to have a conversation with me.

Sometimes, some people are just too oblivious.

But I have mastered the art of faking having interest kaya naman nakipagusap ako sa kanya. I almost sighed in relief nang maka-receive ako ng message mula sa security ko na pwede na akong pumunta sa kwarto.

Diretso akong naglakad papunta sa elevator. While inside, I crafted a message to Archie saying that I needed to attend a meeting outside Manila and that I’d just see him tomorrow since the drive’s long. Paglabas ng elevator, sinend ko iyon sa kanya. How badly I wanted to put my phone on do not disturb, but my brain wouldn’t let me dahil baka biglang may emergency at bigla akong kailanganin.

I placed my bag on the table and immediately stripped down. I made myself a bubble bath. While waiting for the water to fill the tub, naglakad ako papunta sa telepono. I was in the middle of listening to the phone ring nang may bigla akong ma-realize.

“Shit.”

Another reason for not wanting to get pregnant: you can’t drink alcohol.

“Good afternoon,” rinig kong sabi sa kabilang linya.

“Hi,” I replied, “Can I Caesar salad?” I asked.

“Of course, Ma’am. Anything else?”

“No, that’s it. Thank you,” I replied although I really wanted to order champagne. I mean… why was I restricting myself? It wasn’t as if itutuloy ko iyong pagbubuntis ko.

“Alright. Thank you, Ma’am. We’ll deliver it to your room shortly.”

So… no alcohol for the night.

Great.

---

I tried to work, but I couldn’t concentrate.

I tried to read, but I couldn’t understand the words.

I tried to watch, but nothing looks interesting enough.

I tried to sleep, but I kept on seeing Archie’s face in my head.

Great.

I was all alone with my thoughts the whole night.

Pagsikat ng araw, agad akong nag-checkout. I couldn’t be there alone for any more second. Pakiramdam ko ay mababaliw ako. Dumiretso ako sa condo ni Addie at doon nagpalipas ng oras bago ko kinailangan na umuwi. She kept on badgering me until she realized that I meant it nang sinabi ko na wala ako sa mood makipagusap. I waited there until Archie’s already at work dahil ayoko pa rin siyang makita.

Pagdating ko doon, agad akong nakatulog.

It was already around 3PM nang magising ako. I groaned when I realized that I slept through my alarm. Buti na lang at wala akong meeting na naka-set ngayong araw dahil nakakahiya kung hindi ako makakarating, although I knew that Cheryl would probably make an excuse for my behalf. She knows how I operate already.

It was around 4PM nang makarating ako sa munisipyo. I just wanted to get some things and to also make an appearance there. Malapit na naman ang elesksyon. People needed to be reminded again how good we were here para iboto ulit si Archie kung saan man siya tumakbo sa susunod.

“What?” I asked nang mapansin ko na nakatingin sa akin si Rosie. Normally, I had much longer patience for the girl, but lately, even the sight of her was putting me in a sour mood. I didn’t know if it was hormones o talagang nakaka-bwisit lang siya.

“Wala po,” she replied while shaking her head abruptly.

“Where’s Archie?” I asked.

“May tinatapos lang po na meeting,” she replied. “May sasabihin po ba kayo sa kanya?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Sasabihin ko na lang po kapag natapos na iyong meeting.”

I arched my brow. “I can talk to my husband myself,” I said, annoyed. Good thing no one’s around because they’d hate me for snapping at this poor orphan.

“Hindi naman po iyon ang ibig kong sabihin.”

“Whatever,” I replied. “I’ll wait for him inside.”

Dumiretso ako papasok sa opisina niya at naupo sa couch. The moment my body hit the couch, agad akong nakaramdam ng antok. Muli. God, I needed to get rid of the pregnancy. Hindi naman pwede na lagi lang akong inaantok. I had things to do.

Palakad-lakad lang ako sa opisina niya. Ganoon niya ako naabutan nang pumasok siya.

“Hey,” he said, his face lightening up upon seeing me. “Kailan ka nakabalik?”

“Ngayon-ngayon lang,” I replied.

“Dito ka dumiretso?”

I nodded. “We can have dinner later.”

“Oh…” he said.

“Why?” I asked because of his reaction. “You have dinner plans?”

“Birthday ni Rosie,” he said.

“So?”

“Nagsabi na ako sa kanya na pupunta ako.”

Hindi agad ako nakasagot.

Birthday pala niya ngayon.

“Oh,” I said. “Is it a party? Why am I not invited?” I asked, my brow arched. If it’s indeed a birthday party, bakit hindi man lang niya ako ininvite kanina? Bakit si Archie lang? Not that I wanted to attend—just genuinely curious.

Archie just gave me an uncomfortable smile.

“What?” I asked.

Umiling siya. “Bukas na lang. I’ll make a reservation in your favorite restaurant,” he replied, trying to divert the topic.

“Fine,” I said, “But still, she doesn’t want me in her party?” I asked. “Or is it just a dinner between the two of you?”

Agad na kumunot ang noo ni Archie. “What?” he asked like he was surprised sa tanong ko.

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, come on, Archie. It’s very obvious that that girl has a little crush on you,” I said, looking straight into his eyes.

“No,” he said. “She’s just thankful for everything we’ve done for her.”

“Exactly,” I replied. “We’ve done for her. We. You and me. So, why am I not invited?”

He sighed exasperatedly. “Really? All this for a birthday?”

I just stared at him. “Why are you defending her?”

“I am not,” he said, sounding defensive. “I had a long day, Nadia.”

“Oh, suddenly I’m Nadia,” I replied.

Hindi siya sumagot at naglakad papunta sa upuan niya. He sat there and opened his laptop. I just remained there, standing in front of him. I couldn’t believe that of all things we could argue about, iyong babae pa na ’yon.

“So, you’re really going to her birthday.”

“Yes.”

“Wow.”

“Anong gusto mong gawin ko?” mabilis niyang sagot. Rinig na rinig ko iyong inis sa tono niya. “Gusto mong sabihin ko na hindi ako pupunta? Kahit na wala na siyang pamilya?”

I rolled my eyes. “Losing her family’s not a free pass in life.”

“Oh, my god,” he said, sounding so pissed. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”

“Hearing what?”

“This. You being so heartless.”

I felt my jaw clenching.

Why was I suddenly angered with him calling me heartless? I had heard him say this to me before. I had always shrugged it off. I couldn’t believe that Rosie’s doing this to me. Who did she think she was?

Nakatayo lang ako roon.

“Shit.”

Bigla siyang tumayo at mabilis na naglakad sa akin. My mind couldn’t even process what was happening and why suddenly, I was inside his arms.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t cry,” he told me.

Napaawang ang labi ko.

I wanted to touch my face to see if I was crying, but there was no need when the tears fell down my face and I tasted the disappointment.

Of all the reasons I would cry about!

“Hindi na ako pupunta,” he said.

Hindi ako makapagsalita.

I hated that I was crying over Rosie’s birthday. Sa lahat ng bagay na pwede kong iyakan. Why was she capable of making me cry? This was ruining my day even more.

“Pupunta na tayo sa favorite restaurant mo,” he continued. “Wag ka ng umiyak, please…” he said as he hugged me even tighter and kissed the top of my head.

Hindi na ako nakasagot dahil parang umiikot na ang mundo ko. I sat down when Archie went outside. He tried to close the door, pero hindi niya masyadong naisara iyon.

“I’m sorry, Rosie. Bawi na lang ako sa susunod,” I heard him say.

Curiosity got the best of me.

I stood up.

“Okay lang, Sir,” sabi niya. Even from a distance, I saw how fake the smile was. Archie tapped her shoulder as he excused himself. I remained standing there as I saw Rosie shed a tear. Mabilis niya iyong pinunasan, pero tuluy-tuloy lang ang pagtulo ng luha niya.

What a weird girl—having a crush on someone who’s already married. Of course he’d choose me. I’m his wife. 

**

This story is already at Chapter 22 on beeyotch.ph and patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance if you want to pay via GCASH. As of the moment, credit and debit cards can be used directly when paying in the site :) Thank you!

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

“Do you need something?” tanong ko kay Rosie nang mahuli ko siyang nakatitig sa akin. I was in no mood to humor her. I was still in a battle against myself. I knew I should confirm the procedure already… but for some reason ay hindi ko magawa. I couldn’t sleep because I was riddled with guilt.

It wasn’t as if hindi ko bibigyan ng anak si Archie—it’s just that I couldn’t carry it myself. But of course Archie would think differently. Kaya kahit na gusto kong sabihin sa kanya ay hindi ko magawa. It would just open a whole can of worms and we didn’t have time for that. We had far more important things to think about.

Isa pa ’tong si Rosie.

I didn’t need her creating problems.

“So, why are you staring?” I asked.

She was useful in the beginning dahil wala pa namang napapatunayan si Archie. She’s a nice girl… or so did Archie say. But I was afraid that she’s already reached the end of her usefulness. She’s not worth all the headache. Mabuti sana kung ako lang ang nakakapansin ng crush niya kay Archie. If I, someone who barely gives her any though, managed to notice her silly crush, iyong iba pa kaya na lagi niyang katrabaho? Besides, she’s always around Archie. I didn’t want any weird rumors flying around.

Yes.

She’s got to go.

“Wala naman po,” she replied.

I didn’t bother to respond anymore. I tried to focus my attention on what I was doing, but who was I kidding? I needed to tell my doctor to go on with the procedure. That’s all I needed to do. To give the go signal. It’s so easy… but why couldn’t I do it? Other women in this country needed to go to other countries to get this done. All I needed to do was to say yes.

Kaya bakit ako nahihirapan?

“Cheryl,” I called.

“Yes, Ma’am?”

“Did you hear from Mr. Sy’s secretary?”

“None as of the moment.”

I briefly closed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose. I knew I should’ve just went on the meeting with him. I knew that I should’ve prioritized that instead of Archie’s fragile ego. He could’ve been one of our biggest donor—and now, he’s not returning our call. And I knew that I needed to give Abuela my answer already.

Senate or Congress?

This question’s haunting me even in my sleep.

“Ma’am?”

“What?” I replied, sounding pissed because I was. I was in no mood to go on meetings today. I had no energy to pretend in front of people. I didn’t even think that this was possible. Growing up, I was taught on how to appear in front of the crowd—always smile; never roll your eyes. It was almost second nature. Sometimes, I didn’t even notice it. Pero ngayon? Wala akong lakas magpanggap.

“Should I schedule your appointment?” she asked. She didn’t even need to specify.

Hindi ako nakasagot.

“I still have time,” I said.

“Okay, Ma’am.”

“I’ll do it,” I continued. She wasn’t even trying to argue with me. Why was I doing this? Why couldn’t I just get this over with para lang matapos na? Because I can never have a decent conversation with Archie with this hanging over my head. Lagi akong kinakabahan na baka malaman niya.

I should do it.

As soon as possible.

Yes.

That’s what I should do.

“Schedule it,” I said.

“Okay. When?”

Hindi agad ako nakasagot.

“Next week,” I replied.

I couldn’t even come up with a specific day. Saying something specific sounded so final. And I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just say Monday para matapos na agad.

God, this… thing inside me wasn’t even formed yet it’s already ruining my life. Kailan pa ako naging indecisive? I used to know what I want and relentlessly go after it. Hindi ko na talaga maintindihan ang sarili ko ngayon.

“No,” I said. “This Friday, 3PM,” I continued. “And then I’ll have a meeting tomorrow.”

“With whom?”

“Just someone,” I replied.

I knew that I didn’t have Mr. Sy’s loyalty and I wasn’t surprised. People like him only wants you if you have something that they want. Unfortunately, wala pa ako sa lagay na ’yon. No hard feelings. It’s just how it is. Besides, if I were in their position, I would’ve done the same. So, no harm, no foul.

“Good afternoon,” I said.

“Afternoon,” he replied.

“I’ll cut to the chase,” I said.

Bahagya siyang natawa. “I still can’t believe na pinsan mo si Santo.”

I gave him a small shrug. “Second cousin,” I corrected him. “He’s from the… fun side of the family.”

He gave me a small nod. “I can see that,” sagot niya sa akin.

I had his number from when Saint hesitantly gave it to me. I knew that Archie made quite an impression on him before, but it wasn’t all that bad. Looking at Preston now, it was probably for the best. He doesn’t really look like a very serious person.

So, I called him up and asked to meet him in a restaurant. We’re in a private room.

“So, why did you ask to see me?”

I drew a quick breath. I just needed to get this done with.

“My husband’s running for senate,” I said.

“Okay?”

“I want you to donate to the campaign.”

Agad siyang natawa.

Ni hindi man lang siya nagulat.

“Wow,” he said.

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Some people, they still throw a compliment or two before going for the gun,” he said as he cocked his head to the side.

I stared at him. “If I were being honest, I don’t think you need me to compliment you.”

Natawa siya. “Mukha ba akong mayabang?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“Magkakasundo kayo ng asawa ko,” he said.

I shrugged. “Perhaps.”

Hindi agad siya sumagot pero nakatingin siya sa akin. He reached for the cup of coffee and quietly sipped it. I heard from Saint how unserious Preston is… but I didn’t quite believe it. When I researched about him, I saw how many successful investments he’d made. He’s far richer than his siblings dahil sa mga investments niya. There’s a reason why Abuela acts weirdly around him. Kapag nandyan si Preston, best believe that all my cousins will be in attendance just to watch the spectacle.

Indeed, money is king.

“Why would I donate to your campaign?” he asked.

“Treat it as an investment,” I replied.

“An investment?” he asked again.

“My husband will be the future president,” I said.

“Not Maven?” tanong niya na may halong pangiinis.

“Not Maven,” I replied.

“You sound very certain.”

“Because I am certain,” sagot ko.

“I’m not convinced,” he replied. “Normally when I invest, I get presentation and stuff.”

“I don’t think you’d want to watch another presentation,” I told him. Bahagya na naman siyang natawa. I drew a deep breath. I needed to convince him in a different way. What did this guy like? “Think of it this way—my Abuela wants Maven to become the president. And I know you don’t really like her… so why not invest in my husband’s campaign?”

Muli siyang natawa.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” I replied. “Besides, we both know money is not an issue with you.”

“True,” he said, “But also, I have lots of kids.”

“You have four,” I replied.

“Five,” he said, “My sister-in-law is like—” he continued and then paused. “Never mind,” he added.

“Okay,” I said.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Alright,” sagot ko. “What?” I asked nang mapansin kong nakatingin siya sa akin.

Napailing siya. “Your family is so weird,” he said.

I gave him a look. “Don’t get me started with yours,” I replied before I heard him laugh… and weirdly enough, we had dinner and talked about how our parents fucked us up while growing up.

Well, even if he didn’t invest, I think I found a new friend? Weirdly enough.

---

Before I meet with Abuela, I needed to secure some donations first. I kinda had a feeling that Preston’s already a yes, but I still needed a few more options. I met up with a few people and I got some maybes and one yes.

This was stressful.

They all were worried about the same thing—Archie’s jump from local election to national. And that it’s gonna be a tough fight because a lot of the candidates are re-electionists with very good name recall. I knew that. Kaya nga kailangan ng budget. I needed na kahit pinaka-sulok ng Pilipinas ay alam ang pangalan ni Archie. Sa TV campaigns pa lang ay kakainin na ang malaking parte ng budget.

This was so stressful.

“What time is the meeting this afternoon?” I asked Cheryl. It had been a second pero wala akong nakuhang sagot mula sa kanya. I turned my head to look at her because she’s usually very prompt with my schedule. Agad na napakunot ang noo ko nang makita ko iyong ekspresyon sa mukha niya. “What—” I asked as I followed her line of sight and I felt shivers down my spine as I saw blood cascading down my thighs.

God.

The baby.

I felt my chest tightening.

I felt the world spinning around me.

I felt myself losing consciousness.

Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.

“Hospital,” I said. “Bring me to the hospital.”

---

I couldn’t explain how I was feeling.

I felt like my head was being attacked from all sides and all I could hear was the piercing pain inside me. But I forced to open my eyes because all I could hear was silence and the sound of the air going around the room.

“Where is Archie?” I asked nang makita ko si Cheryl nang bumukas ang mga mata ko. I lost consciousness while I was in the office. I knew that there was no way that they could’ve gotten me outside without him knowing.

Oh, god.

He knew about the baby.

What happened to the baby?

“Where is Archie?” I asked again nang wala akong makuhang sagot. Umiling lang siya. “What does that mean? Why are you shaking your head?”

“Ma’am—”

“Give me an answer,” I quickly replied.

“I called him to tell him that you’re at the hospital…” she said like she was afraid to tell me the next words. “I think Rosie told him that you got aborted the baby.”

“What?”

“He said he doesn’t care and hung up the phone.”

What the fuck did that orphan do again?

**

This story is already at Chapter 23 on beeyotch.ph and patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance if you want to pay via GCASH. As of the moment, credit and debit cards can be used directly when paying in the site :) Thank you!

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

“I talked to your security—”

“Ever heard of the word privacy?” mabilis kong pagputol sa sasabihin ni Mama.

I’d been at the hospital for a few days now. Although I knew that my doctor shouldn’t be disclosing my condition to anyone but me, I knew that my family had ways to get what they want.

“I cannot believe that husband of yours,” she said while shaking her head. “Didn’t even bother to show his face here.”

Hindi ako nakapagsalita.

It had been nearly a week and I hadn’t heard anything from Archie. I tried texting him once. I got response. That was the response. I refused to message him again. We’d talk once I get home. He couldn’t avoid me forever if that was his plan.

“Are you okay?”

“I am,” I replied.

“Nadia—”

“I’m okay,” I said once again.

Nakatingin lang siya sa akin. I didn’t want to explain myself nor my marriage. It’s my business.

“Are you sure—”

“I am,” I said, cutting her off. “I never asked you questions about your marriage. I would appreciate the same from you.”

I saw the surprise and disappointment on her face. She pursed her lips and her jaw clenched a bit. Umayos siya ng tayo at inabot iyong bag niya na nasa upuan.

“You really are a de Marco,” she told me.

Hindi ako nagsalita. I did not want to argue with her. I never liked arguing with my parents. It’s exhausting and not productive at all, but she would not leave me alone. She kept on asking kung nasaan si Archie. Obviously, he’s not here. And since he’s not here, obviously, we’re having problems. I didn’t understand her desire to keep on asking me. If I wanted to discuss it, I would do it. The fact that I repeatedly dodged her question should be answer enough.

Nang makaalis siya ay saka ako umalis. Thankfully, there’s a private exit for VIP. Doon ako dumaan. I didn’t need media taking photos of me. This was not the image I wanted to be seen by the public—not now that we’re running for senate. Now’s not the time to look like we’re not on good terms. Now’s the time to have a united front.

When I got home, I immediately felt Archie’s presence. I just knew that he wasn’t here because if he’s here, I feel it. I’d hear him constant pacing back and forth. I’d hear him trying to cook in the kitchen. I’d hear him surfing the channels to find something interesting to watch.

He’s just everywhere when he’s at home.

And now, this place felt so empty.

All because that girl decided she wanted someone who’s already married.

I stayed in. I didn’t want to go to work. The last thing I needed would be a public argument with Archie. I had no energy for that. The way he’s been avoiding me, I knew that this was an argument waiting to happen.

It was already 11PM nang makarinig ako ng pagbukas ng pinto. The whole place was quiet that I probably hear even the drop of a needle.

Agad akong tumayo.

“Did you have dinner already?” I asked, not wanting to start an argument. He’s obviously mad at me. We’d discuss that. We didn’t need to argue to communicate.

“Yes,” he replied shortly.

“I haven’t yet,” I said. “Will you eat with me?”

Tumingin siya sa akin.

I knew he was mad at me, but the way he looked at me told me that I underestimated just how mad he was. He looked at me like I… like I betrayed him. His chest was slightly heaving. I saw how his hand turned into a fist. He was looking at me with such hatred. And disgust.

Hindi siya nagsalita.

I drew a deep breath and let it out.

“Why are you mad at me?” I asked.

Hindi siya agad nakasagot. I watched as he clenched his jaw as if he was still trying to restrain himself. He looked so mad at me. Would he lay his hand on me? I watched as his chest heaved in anger.

“You killed our child,” he said as if he was in pain as he said those words. His face was full of pain and betrayal and anger. I knew that all those were directed to me.

“I didn’t ask for it.”

“You didn’t ask for it? You got an abortion!”

My jaw clenched. So, that’s what she told him. Who did she think she was para sabihin kay Archie iyon? That was my business to discuss with my husband. She had no right to tell him that. I didn’t give a damn what her reasons were.

“I didn’t get an abortion,” I said as slowly as I could so that he’d hear the words.

“Stop fucking lying to me, Nadia. I’m sick of the lies,” mabilis na sabi niya at saka ako tinalikuran at naglakad papunta sa kwarto. I quicky followed him. I didn’t want to prolong this fight. It was useless. He was mad at me for the wrong thing. I didn’t get an abortion. I miscarried because of the stress. I was told that this was a possibility during the first trimester. I did not abort the baby.

“I’m not lying,” I said as I followed him to our room.

Hindi siya nagsalita.

“Archie, let’s talk.”

“Not when all I’ll get from you are lies.”

“I already told you that I did not get an abortion.”

“You had the fucking gall to kill an innocent child yet you can’t own up to it?!”

Tumingin ako sa kanya at huminga nang malalim.

“I said I did not,” I told him. “And if you bothered to visit me in the hospital, you would’ve known.”

He scoffed. “What for? So the doctors can lie to me?”

“Why would they lie to you, Archie—”

“Stop with the nickname!”

Hindi ako nagsalita.

“God, stop with the lies, Nadia! Hindi ka ba napapagod?”

“No, because I never lied to you,” I said. “That’s the reason why I married you—because I know that I would never have to lie to you. Because whatever it is, I know that you can take it.”

He didn’t say a word.

He stood there.

But I knew him.

I knew him enough that my words were getting into him.

He loves me—at least that I know for real. Because he wouldn’t be this mad at me kung hindi niya ako mahal.

“If you visited me, you’d know that I miscarried because of stress,” I calmly said. “I did not get an abortion.”

He looked at me. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. “That you were pregnant? You knew that I wanted to know. Bakit hindi mo sinabi? Bakit hindi ko alam?”

I stared back at him. “I don’t know,” I said.

“Because you were thinking about terminating, right? That’s what you’re thinking?”

“Is that what that girl told you?” I asked.

“Sinong babae?” he asked back, playing dumb.

“Rosie,” I said, not wanting to play this game with him. “She’s the reason why you’re being like this, right? Why I’d been in the hospital and you never once visited me. Because of the things she’s feeding in your head.”

Marahas siyang umiling. “No.”

“She’s the one who lied to you that I got an abortion.”

“Why would she lie?”

“Come on, Archie. Don’t play dumb with me. We both know that she has feelings for you.”

Hindi siya nakasagot.

“Of course she’ll do anything to get you away from me,” I continued.

Muli siyang umiling. “She can’t do that.”

“Of course she can. And she already did. I was in the hospital for a week and you never once visited me,” I said slowly para marinig niya kung ano ang ginawa niya. Because we both knew that if not for her, he would never once leave my side. He would not think that I intentionally killed our baby. That thought would not have entered his mind.

“You’re lying,” he said.

“So, you’re choosing to believe her words over mine? Me? Your wife?”

He didn’t say a word.

We were just staring into each other’s eyes.

Suddenly, I was aware with every little movement, every faint sound.

It was just him and me.

“Would you have aborted?” he asked after the silence that felt like forever.

I stared at his eyes. “No,” I lied because it was necessary. We had been this far. Hindi ko hahayaan na ang babae na iyon lang ang sisira sa mga ginawa namin.

Pagak siyang natawa. “Lying is really just second nature to you at this point, huh?” sabi niya habang naiiling.

“Where are you going?” I asked as he began walking.

“Out.”

“Archie—”

“No,” he said. “I can’t do this shit with you anymore, Nadia. I can’t always live like this. You always lie to me. It’s driving me insane!”

“I already told you—”

“See? The thing is, I can’t believe you anymore. Kahit ano ang sabihin mo, kasinungalingan na lang siya para sa akin. I don’t trust you. You’re just a big fucking liar in my eyes.”

My lips parted.

“All this? Because of her?”

Mabilis siyang umiling. “All this because of you ,” he replied. “Remember what you told me before? That we’ll give it a year and if things don’t work out, I’m free to do whatever the fuck I want? Well, it’s been more than a year.”

I pressed my lips together.

I held my head up high.

I am a de Marco.

I would never beg—not for anything especially for a man.

“Okay,” I said as I drew a deep breath.

“Okay,” he said.

“If that’s what you want.”

Umiling siya. “This is not what I want,” he replied. “This is what you forced me to do.”

I felt my jaw clenching. “Okay,” I said. I didn’t want to argue. There’s no point.

Nakatingin siya sa akin. “All I wanted was to love you… but all you do is fucking lie and manipulate…” he said before he walked out once again and left me alone once more.  

**

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Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I had never hated silence.

Growing up, I had always enjoyed silence—my little moments of solitude. I was always around people. People were always around me. Kaya naman kapag nagkakaroon ako ng pagkakataon na magkaroon ng katahimikan, I always try to maximize it. Ang hirap din na palaging may mga mata na nakatingin sa ’yo.

But this?

This was hell.

Archie and I ate breakfast together, but at this point, I’d rather that we didn’t eat together. I hated having him in front of me and him not saying anything.

And I wanted to say something, anything, but pride’s all I got left. I refuse to beg. This was what he wanted. He asked for this, so even if it’s killing me to be like this, I would never waive the white flag.

He got his things and then he started to walk outside, pero bigla siyang huminto. He turned and then looked at me. I stared back at him. I would not start the conversation.

“What?” he asked.

“What?” I asked back.

“Let’s go,” he replied.

“You can go,” I said.

I saw him slightly rolling his eyes. “It’s been a week,” he said. “People are talking.”

“Let them talk,” I replied.

“You’re fucking weird,” he told me.

I reached for my cup of coffee. “It’s barely 8AM,” I said. “Don’t start with me now.”

Nakatingin siya sa akin. “You’re the one who kept on putting politics before marriage. And now what? You suddenly just don’t care if people think that we’re having problems?” tanong niya habang nakakunot ang noo.

I looked back at him.

Right.

Ayoko lang pumunta sa munisipyo dahil hanggang ngayon ay pinaguusapan pa rin nila iyong pagpunta ko sa hospital. A lot of rumors about that one, but nothing was ever confirmed. Even my family’s asking about it, but I shut down any form of communication. Pretty sure they know about it already. I just didn’t have the energy to talk about it nor did I want to talk about it.

“I thought we’re not talking about our marriage anymore?” sabi ko sa kanya. “Besides, I won’t go to the office. I have a meeting with some of the donors,” I told him. “I’ll have Cheryl contact your secretary,” dugtong ko dahil ayokong sabihin iyong pangalan ng babaeng ’yon.

He gave me a small nod. “Right.”

“If the meeting goes well, we can start preparing for the filing,” I told him.

It was still a bit awkward to talk to him. I was not a fan of this, but he’s right. I needed to straighten up my priorities. Besides, I was the one who told him that if things do not work between us, he’s free to pursue a separate life of his own.

But God…

Not Rosie.

Literally anyone but her.

“File for what?”

“That’ll depend on the support we’ll get,” I said. “I’ll finalize the details first and then I’ll keep you updated.”

“Okay,” he said. “Is that all?” he asked.

“What?”

“Sa meeting ka lang ba pupunta?”

“Meetings,” I corrected him. “I have a lot of people I need to talk to,” I continued.

I had been staying inside for the past few days—doctor’s advice. I wanted to argue that staying at home’s more stressful for me dahil nakikita ko si Archie. But not seeing him is stressful, too, dahil alam ko na kasama niya iyong babaeng ’yon.

“Hindi ka ba pupunta sa ospital?” he asked.

“No,” I replied.

“But everything’s fine?” he asked. “With you?” he continued.

My lips parted a bit.

Why was I pleasantly surprised by this?

This… last minute concern coming from him?

Ilang araw na akong nandito, pero hindi niya ako kinakausap. And when he talked to me before, all he cared about was the baby. Never once did he ask about me—kung okay lang ba ako?

And now this.

God, it’s pathetic how that little question of his made my heart skip a beat.

Maybe it’s arrythmia.

It better be an arrythmia.

Muli siyang marahan na tumango. Lumabas na rin siya. When I finally heard the door closing was when I was finally able to breathe.

---

“Oh, come on,” Jack said when I turned down his offer for a night cap. He’s my last meeting for today. Pagod na ako. Gusto ko nang umuwi at magpahinga kahit na hindi ko alam kung pahinga ba talaga ang makukuha ko paguwi ko. The only consolation probably would be meeting being so tired that I’d get knocked out once I get to the bed.

“This is a business meeting,” I told him.

“Sure, but we can have drinks,” he replied. “We’re friends, too.”

I looked at him dead in the eye. “I know what you’re doing,” I said. “And my answer has always been no. “

Jack had always, always expressed his interest, but I had always been vocal that I do not see him that way. I’d understand his obsession if I flirted with him at least once in my life, but no. I had never. But as it seemed, it just got him more interested. He seemed to have taken it as a challenge—even went to my place the day before my wedding and asked me to run away with him. I shut the door at his face. What was he thinking?

Guys and their logic.

“Even now?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“Come on,” he replied. “I know there’s trouble in paradise.”

Agad na kumunot ang noo ko. “What?”

“I know you’re having problems with your husband,” he told me and tried to reach for my hand before I quickly yanked it away bago pa man niya ako mahawakan. I saw him chuckle. If I didn’t find him so repulsive, I would have slept with him already for him to get over it. He just wanted me because he could never have me.

“Your business not keeping you busy enough that you now listen to gossip?” I asked with an arched brow.

“I hear no denial,” he replied. Hindi ako nagsalita. Why would I even bother? He already knows it. I’d just look like a clown if I try to lie about this. Besides, so what? Half the people we know are strategically married.

“You’re out of his league, Nadia,” he said. “Aren’t you already bored?”

I looked at him and gave him a polite smile. “I did not go here to discuss my private life,” I said. “But I appreciate your donation to my husband’s campaign.”

Tumayo ako. I heard him chuckle.

“And here I thought you’re cunning,” he said that made me halt.

“What?” I asked.

“I mean… your husband’s having fun himself,” he replied. “I thought you’d want yours, too.”

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ko. I was not an idiot. I knew what he was talking about. I didn’t want to give away any reaction, but for a split second, he caught me off guard.

“You’re pathetic,” I told him before I walked away.

Habang papauwi ako ay paulit-ulit kong naririnig sa isip ko iyong sinabi ni Jack. Archie’s having fun? It hadn’t even been long since I lost his child! He’s already found someone else?

I briefly closed my eyes and took deep breaths.

So, what?

He did tell me that that’s what he intended to do. I did tell him way before that he could do that and that my only rule is to do it discreetly and to never get anyone pregnant.

I’d probably fucking lose it if he gets that girl pregnant.

“I’ll go to the office instead,” I told the driver.

It was already 7PM, but I had a nagging feeling na nandito si Archie. I just had to see it myself. He did not exactly tell me that he’ll start looking, but what for? Iyon naman ang napagusapan namin dati. Would I be okay if he did that with someone other than that girl? I did not know. My hormone’s probably still messed up from everything that happened the past few weeks.

Pagdating ko sa munisipyo ay binati ako nung mga guards. I greeted them back. Guards and utilities na lang ang nandito sa ground floor. Agad akong dumiretso sa itaas kung nasaan iyong opisina ni Archie.

I walked towards his office.

And then I stopped.

If I see something… what would I even do? It’s not like we’re still together. We’re still married, but as far as we’re concerned, we’re already separated. He’s free to do as he pleases.

Huminga ako nang malalim at mas pinili ko na kumatok. I knocked three times and then waited. I did not know the situation inside. For all I know, they’re naked and needed time to get dressed.

At this time, I was just choosing peace.

I could handle seeing Archie with anyone, but the thought of him with that girl? I’d see red. And I did not need any more gossip circling us. Not now. Not now that election’s coming up again.

And then the door opened.

Kitang-kita ko iyong paglaho ng ngiti sa mukha niya nang makita niya ako. I told myself to get together and not show her any reaction. Her mere existence was enough to annoy me, but I would not give her the satisfaction of knowing that she has that kind of effect on me.

“We have a party to attend this Friday,” I told him while he was looking at me. Nandoon siya sa swivel chair. His laptop was on the side. There were takeout food on the table. They’re having a little picnic. How cute.

“Okay?” he replied habang bahagyang nakakunot ang noo niya. “You could’ve texted me.”

I chose to ignore that. Tumingin ako kay Rosie. “Can you give me a moment with my husband?” I asked.

Bahagyang umawang ang labi niya. “O-okay po…”

She was about to open the door again nang magsalita ako. “Take your dinner with you, too,” I said, looking at the food on Archie’s desk. Kita ko iyong gulat sa mukha niya. I stood there and watch as she did as she was asked. Good. At least alam niya pa rin kung saan ang lugar niya.

Nang sumara ang pinto, humarap ako kay Archie. He did not even bother to hide the disapproval on his face.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

I stared at him long and hard before I decided to tell him what’s on my mind. “I have a request,” I said. He didn’t say anything. He just kept on looking at me while I felt like I was losing every inch of dignity I had in my body just by asking him of this. “You can have anyone… Just please… please not her.”

I felt the relief.

And the disgust.

Why was I letting myself feel this way because of her? She’s nobody. Why was I giving her all this power? Why was I giving her so much credit?

“Anyone,” I said when he said nothing. “Literally, anyone, Archie.”

He just kept on looking.

And I felt like losing.

“Can you promise me that?”

But this time, he managed to find his voice.

“No,” he said.

I heard a sound breaking.

It felt like it was coming from inside me.

“Is there something going on?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he replied, “But if there is something, as we agreed before, I will be very discreet about it,” he continued before he politely asked me to leave his office. 

**

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Chapter 23

Chapter 23

I knew that I’d never marry for love. I’d rather marry someone I respect and can tolerate. That way, walang sakit ng ulo. He could do whatever he wanted as long as he would not give me any problem. That’s my ideal marriage.

But as they say, the universe has a twisted sense of humor.

“Do you think there’s something going on?” I asked Cheryl.

“Going on where, Ma’am?” she asked.

She followed my eyes. Nakatingin ako kay Archie na tahimik na nagbabasa ng speech niya para mamaya. We finally filed for candidacy. I consulted with some of my mentors and all of them agreed that it’s a risk worth taking. I like risk, but I only like calculated risks. I am not a big fan of losing—that’s why it grates my nerves to even think about Archie and Rosie getting together.

“Nothing,” I said as I thought that I was just probably being ridiculous. Rosie was literally just sitting beside him.

I did not know if something’s going on between them. I refuse to hire a private investigator. I promised myself that I would never stoop that low. I still have my limits.

I wanted to ask Archie again because it had been months since we last talked… kung may nagbago ba sa pagitan nilang dalawa. But I knew that he would never tell me the truth. I knew that if I asked, kahit walang nangyayari sa kanila, he’d tell me that there’s something going on just to piss me off.

Life at home is just one big pissing contest between us. I didn’t know if I like that or the silence better.

I kept my distance and acted like everything’s normal. The gossip died down—kind of. It was all PR. Abuela reminded me that optics is king. I know that. I was just distracted. She also asked me about me if I was okay. I was pretty sure she’s asking about my short stay at the hospital. I knew she did not care much about the supposedly great grand kid. Ang dami kong pinsan na kayang magbigay sa kanya.

She’s probably asking if I were okay with my husband having an affair with someone else. I just told him that everything’s handled. As long as people didn’t think that there’s trouble in paradise, everything’s gonna be fine. Besides, who in their right mind would believe that Archie would choose that girl over me? And who would think that if there is something going on between them, that I’d be here and just watch it all?

At the very least, in their mind, it did not make sense. I’d count that as a win for me.

Nang malapit nang magsimula iyong program, lumapit na ako kay Archie.

“Everything good?” I asked him.

He gave me a small nod. “Do you want to check my speech?” he asked.

“No need. I already read that,” I told him.

“Of course you did.”

I shrugged. “I just want everything to be perfect,” I told him.

“I know,” he replied.

Walang nagsalita sa pagitan namin. I did not say anything and just let him rehearse his speech. Nakita ko si Rosie na nasa isang gilid. Good for her. At least alam niya na ’wag lumapit kapag nandito ako. The only thing that’s stopping me from completely having her removed was the fact that we’re using her sob story for the campaign once again. Can’t deny that that one cemented Archie’s good reputation. Also, it would be suspicious kung bigla siyang mawawala. The timing would be too good. The gossip mongers would have a field day.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Always,” I replied. “What?” I asked when he offered me his hand. He wanted to hold my hand dahil maglalakad na kami papunta sa stage kung saan niya sasabihin ang speech niya. “Won’t your little girlfriend be jealous?” I asked.

He just looked at me. Clearly, he was not in the mood kaya naman kinuha ko na lang iyong kamay niya. Napatingin ako sa gawi ni Rosie. The pain on her face was very evident. It must be killing her that in public, she’ll never be able to hold his hand like this. She could blame no one but herself. Sino ba ang nagsabi sa kanya na ma-inlove sa taong may asawa?

“Please help us get my husband, Atty. Archibald Gallego, a senatorial seat this coming election,” I said as I stood beside him. I was wearing my fake smile.

We were a good hour talking to people, hearing about their plights, and making false promises—the usual when you’re doing a campaign. Of course you’d tell them what they want to hear. Bakit ka nila iboboto kung hindi?

“Are you going home?” I asked Archie habang nasa sasakyan kami.

“Yes, where else will I go?” he asked back.

I shrugged. “In your little love nest, probably.”

Nakita ko iyong pagpikit ng mga mata niya at paghilot niya sa sentido niya. He then opened his eyes and looked at me. His face painted a mixture of exhaustion and annoyance.

“Nadia, please, not now.”

“What? I can’t even make a joke?”

“No,” he replied. “Because you’re not the kind of person who makes jokes.”

“I’m just trying to make a conversation.”

“I know. And I already told you that we’re not discussing my personal life.”

I bit my tongue to hold off what I really wanted to say. I am his wife. I am a part of his personal life. But I guess his mistress is now his personal life.

It was just my pride.

That how could he choose that girl over me? Is it the sex? She must be better in bed. She probably rides him like her life depends on it. Probably. He gave her a roof over her head when she lost everything.

Pathetic.

“As long as I’m being discreet in whatever it is that I’m doing, I’d appreciate if you don’t comment on my life,” he said. “Let’s just focus on the election.”

Hindi ako nagsalita.

Pagdating namin sa bahay, akala ko ay dito siya pero nakita ko na nagpalit lang siya ng damit.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“Somewhere,” he replied. Tumingin siya sa akin. “You do what you want and I’ll do what I want. I thought that that’s the deal now?”

I drew a deep breath.

Right.

Hindi na ako sumagot pa at binuksan ko na lang iyong TV. I tried to distract myself by watching, but nothing was good enough to distract my mind from wondering about where Archie’s going. I knew I could ask his security to tell me about what’s happening with his ‘personal life’ but a voice in my head was telling me that that’s not a good idea. Besides, he’s doing his part of the deal. He’s being the perfect political candidate. He’s doing everything that was asked of him kahit na minsan ay kita ko sa mukha niya na ayaw niya.

I should… I should probably find something… or someone to distract myself with, too.

I did not want to just stay here while my husband’s gallivanting somewhere. I wanted to go see Addie, but she’s busy with Maven stuff. I didn’t want get myself involved in that right now. I did not have the headspace. It would have been nice if I had friends that I can just casually go to if I wanted to. Unfortunately, I was raised paranoid, so although I have friends, I consider none of them close enough for me to be able to talk to them about the things that were bothering me. I’d have more luck talking Cheryl. That girl knows everything in my life basically.

In the end, I decided to just go bother Aspen.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Bored,” I replied.

“With everything that’s going on in your life? You’re still bored?”

“Yeah.”

“Or is it because of the rumor that I’m hearing?”

I rolled my eyes. “Even you? I’m disappointed.”

He gave me short laugh. “What? I get bored, too,” he replied. “Is it true that he got himself a mistress?”

“Yes.”

What’s the point of him being family if I have to lie to him, too? I was already lying to the whole world about my marriage.

“You didn’t even reach two years? Damn.”

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks,” I said. “Not everyone in this family’s lucky enough to get married for love.”

Muli siyang humalakhak. “I’d feel bad for you, but as far as I can remember, no one really forced you to marry him, cous. You were the one who dragged him into this family, remember? We were all bewildered when you brought him home. I remember thinking ‘has she lost her goddamned mind?’ “

I rolled my eyes again. “You talk as if I brought home a stray dog.”

He shrugged. “Might as well,” he said. “He was practically no one and now he’s about to become a senator. You made him.”

Hindi ako nagsalita. It was more of a collaboration. Archie’s the face of the politics, but I was the one who made it all happen. Archie couldn’t meet the donors with a straight face. There’s something about his face that’s very… transparent. He’s very judgy—and that’s rich coming from him.

“At the very least, he should be kissing the ground that you walk on,” he said.

“You said it yourself—it was never a marriage of love.”

Aspen shrugged. “If you do say so,” he said. “But why are you here? It’s 11PM already.”

Hindi ako nagsalita.

“Is he with the other woman?”

“I didn’t come here to get lectured.”

Muli siyang humalakhak. “Why did you come here then?”

“I don’t know. I should have come to Addie.”

He poured himself a drink. “You know, if there’s anything I learned in life, it’s that if you want to be happy, take advice from people who are happy.”

I arched my brow. “First of all, who told you that I am not happy? And second, are you implying that Addie’s miserable?”

He nodded. “Isn’t she?” he asked with an arched brow, too.

I rolled my eyes. “She is, but that’s beside the point.”

“Nadia, I say this with love, but go take your husband back.”

My eyes widened for a bit. “What?”

“We all know that you love him.”

My lips parted. “Excuse me? We?”

He chuckled. “I see. No objection on the you love him part.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Oh. The f bomb. You rarely say that word.”

“Who’s we?”

“Family,” he replied. “That’s all I could hear during brunch. Everything I heard about that girl, I heard against my will,” he said.

“Wow… So that’s what you do? You talk shit about me?”

He shrugged. “You know the rule—the one who’s not present shall be the topic.”

“Wow…”

“So, you know, just a piece of unsolicited advice, from someone who’s actually happy in his life, go take him back.”

Hindi ako nagsalita.

I knew that whatever I’d say, I’d just sound defensive. He’s already convinced that I’m in love or whatever.

“You’re a de Marco,” he said. “Don’t let some random girl take what’s yours. That’s humiliating, cous,” he continued and I made face at him because that was very cocky of him.

“Shut up,” was all I said.

“Never,” he replied with a grin.

“I don’t chase.”

“Then don’t.”

“You’re very contradicting.”

“If you chase a guy, it means that he’s running away,” he told me. “You never chase a guy.”

Kumunot ang noo ko.

“Come on, Nadia. You did this shit a lot in college. Whip out the old playbook and get your man back,” he said. “Should be very easy for you—the man’s still in love, from what I could hear.”

He’s probably drunk already. It’s a big wonder why this man’s contented and happy with his life. Probably it’s true that ignorance is bliss.

“Whatever,” I said as I downed the drink.

“You know what to do to get him back running.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Get yourself a sidepiece, too,” sabi niya habang humahalahak. “Tell him that two can play this game.”

**

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Chapter 24

Chapter 24

I hadn’t had dinner at home in a while. I was always out, trying to close deals with people. I was so tired, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s better to have lots of fund than to lack fund. Ang gastso ng campaign. We really needed to win this one.

“You’re going out again?” tanong sa akin ni Archie.

I nodded while I was checking the content of my bag. “Meeting,” I simply replied.

“With whom?”

“Donors.”

“Hindi pa rin tapos ’yan?” he asked. “Kalagitnaan ng campaign?”

Umiling ako. “It never ends,” I replied. “Besides, this campaign is expensive,” I told him.

From my peripheral vision, nakita ko na dahan-dahan siyang tumango. “Why am I not invited?” he asked.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. “Why?” I asked.

“Why not?” he replied.

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said. “I never thought that you’d be interested.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because,” I replied. “Remember the dinner with Preston?”

Nakita ko iyong pamumula ng tenga niya—a sign that he’s embarrassed. Bahagya siyang nag-iwas ng tingin. He looked cute while doing that.

“That was a long time ago,” he said and that made me smile a little. Yeah. It was a long time ago. Ang tagal na rin pala naming magkasama. Time really flew quickly.

“Right,” I said tapos ay ibinalik ko iyong tingin ko sa bag ko. When I was sure that everything’s inside, ibinalik ko iyong tingin ko sa kanya. “I’ll head out.”

I did not follow Aspen’s advice to go get myself a sidepiece. For what? I did not need a man to validate me. Having a man in my life is more of a… work. For me, a relationship is work. It’s commitment. It’s constant communication. It’s allotting time. It’s just too much.

And I knew that he wasn’t suggesting that I get myself a boyfriend, but I also didn’t want some guy to fuck me. Being with me is a privilege. And I don’t have the time to date right now. I wouldn’t let some random man touch me. I’d rather be celibate.

“Nadia,” he called.

Napahinto ako. “What?” I replied. Hindi agad siya sumagot. I saw him look at me from my face down to my feet. It was like he was taking in the vision in front of him. I was wearing a white blazer and skirt and red heels. I knew it’s a business meeting, but I always believe in looking not only good, but great. It’s taken me far in life. A lot of man will give you what you ask for if you look good. It’s just how it is.

“Next time, I’ll join you,” he said.

“Where?”

“Dinners,” he replied. “With donor.”

“Oh,” I said. “I thought you’re tired? Or you have somewhere to go.”

Lately, I did not even bother to ask him kung saan siya pupunta. At first, my curiosity was always nagging me. Where’s he going? Was he with someone else? What’s he doing? Was he being careful? But later on, I got tired. I knew I would just drive myself crazy. And I knew that it was probably just my pride talking. I’d never be at peace knowing Rosie got ahead of me, but if she can take Archie away, then she could have him. I wouldn’t stress myself over someone who can easily be taken away. She can have him.

Besides, right from the beginning, this has always been a marriage of convenience. We tried to make it something that it wasn’t and we failed. That’s just how things go. You don’t always get what you ask for. You just have to roll with it.

“Yes,” he replied. “But I’m the one who’s running. It’s better that I’m also there… don’t you think?”

He was looking at me like he was nervous. Weird. What’s with him tonight?

I shrugged. “Sure,” I said. “I actually have to attend an event tomorrow.”

“I’ll be there,” he replied.

“Okay,” I said with a small crease on my forehead.

He’s acting different today, but I decided that it’s not my problem. We just live in the same house, but we live different lives. At this point, we’re more like roommates—although we still sleep on the same bed. If it were up to me, he’d be sleeping on the guestroom. It drives me insane to wonder if he’s sleeping in Rosie’s bed and then he’ll also sleep in my bed. We argued about this before, so the compromise was for him to take a bath before he could sleep beside me.

Nagsimula na ulit akong maglakad.

“Nadia,” he said.

“What?” I asked again.

He shook his head. “Nothing,” he replied.

I chose not to answer and instead, just went out because I had things that I needed to do.

---

The dinner was good. After that, I headed straight to Abuela to discuss some things. I just told her that I was worried about the results of the election. I knew that things were going well—campaign and survey wise. But whenever I’d think about the money invested in this campaign, I could not help but worry.

I just needed to hear it from her that the end game was already taken cared of.

“Why are you worried?” Abuela asked.

“Because a lot of people have invested money on this,” I told her.

“Do you not have confidence in your candidate?” she asked. “You’re the one who chose him.”

I found it ridiculous and slightly entertaining that whenever she’d talk about Archie—or anyone in our family, really—they’d talk about him like he’s a candidate, never my husband.

“It’s not about that,” I replied. “A lot of people donated money. They’re expecting a return.”

“Do you think you won’t win?”

“I think we’ll win—I just don’t like risks.”

“Every election is a risk.”

I slightly arched my brow. “Abuela, come on. I seriously have no time for this. I know every election is rigged—one way or another. I just need to hear from you that this election will go well for me.”

“Why are you so worried, Nadia?”

“Because,” I said, slightly annoyed. “Because I can’t throw money at everything like Abby and Maven.”

Whenever I’d think about the funds those two are spending… wow. Abby spent a fortune trying to spin the narrative and it’s working. Now, people see her as a victim rather than the monster who shot down a plane. I mean, what can she do, really? It’s her cousin who orchestrated everything. If anything, she’s a victim of it all. It’s ridiculous how easily swayed people are.

But I should not take it seriously. I better just use this to our advantage. People are easily swayed. They love sob stories. I mean, I can’t be mad about that—I basically used Rosie’s tragedy to my own advantage. Who was I to talk, really?

“Alright,” Abuela said.

“Alright what?”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Okay,” I replied. “Thank you.”

“Just make sure he won’t make it difficult.”

I nodded. “I’ll make sure.”

Then Abuela reminded me of the dinner next, next week and that I needed to be there. I had been avoiding them for as long as I could. I just didn’t want to see Maven and Abby—except during times when I see them outside for campaigns. That, I could handle. I could handle them in small dosage, but in private? I just didn’t have the energy for that. I couldn’t even see Addie because all she could talk about was Abby and I did not have the mental capacity for that.

Nang matapos kami sa paguusap ni Abuela ay dumiretso na ako pauwi. I was so exhausted. It had been a long day and an even longer night.

“Why are you still awake?” I asked nang maabutan ko si Archie sa may kitchen island. I saw an open bottle of whiskey and a glass on his hand.

“Can’t sleep,” he replied.

“Oh,” I said. “Good night, then,” I continued because I had no energy for small conversation. And knowing Archie and I, there’s a high probability that this would lead to an argument and I definitely had no energy for that.

I took a quick bath. Normally, I’d blow dry my hair, but I was just so tired. It had been a very long day.

“You’ll sleep with a wet hair?” Archie asked nang pumasok siya. He’s holding a bottle of water now.

“No energy,” I replied as I sat down on the nightstand. I still needed to put my night cream on. I was blessed with good genes, but even I knew that I needed to take care of myself.

“You’ll have a headache,” he said.

“I’ll take my chances,” sagot ko sa kanya.

I was minding my own business as I was putting on my eye cream nang mapatingin ako sa kanya. He pulled the drawer and got the hairdryer out.

“What are you doing?” I asked with my forehead creased.

“Helping you,” he said.

“Why?”

He shrugged. “You attend campaigns and meetings every day. You can’t afford to have a headache,” he said while he was plugging in the hairdryer. I watched as he tried to figure out kung paano buksan iyon. And when he finally managed to turn it on, he was surprised by the noise like he wasn’t the one trying to turn it on. He even chuckled for a bit.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked because he was being nice to me for no reason at all. Was he already tired of his mistress? Why the sudden change? Did he do something? Agad na napatingin ako sa kanya. “What did you do?” I asked again, reminded of the conversation I had with Abuela. That she’d take care of the election, but that Archie needed to do his part and not to make any splash.

“What do you mean?” he asked while he was trying to figure out the setting of the hairdryer.

“Were you discreet?”

Agad na kumunod ang noo niya. He looked annoyed. “What?”

“I knew you told me not to meddle with your personal life, but we can’t afford a scandal now,” I sincerely told him. A lot of people have invested their money on this. This was serious. Hindi na ’to kagaya nung dati na kaming dalawa lang. Back then, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Right now, there were a lot of people banking on this.

He looked at me. His aura changed. At least this was familiar.

“I didn’t do anything,” he said.

“Are you sure? Because—”

“For fuck’s sake, can’t I do something nice?” he replied while he loudly placed the hairdryer back on the vanity.

Hindi ako nagsalita. I had no energy for this. I stood up and began to walk.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Guest room,” I replied.

“What? Why?”

“It had been a long day, Archie. I need my rest,” I told him.

“Why can’t you sleep here?”

“Because I want to rest.”

“And you can’t do that here?”

“No,” I said.

I took another step.

“Just sleep here,” he said. “I promise no more question.”

Tumingin ako sa kanya. I didn’t want to argue. I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to rest. Naglakad ako papunta sa kama. I went to my side of the bed. I got under the covers and laid on my side. I tried to sleep, but for some reason, even though I was so tired, slept eluded me.

“What?” I asked because I knew that he was still awake. I could feel it from the way that he was breathing.

“I’m sorry. Did I make a noise?” he asked.

“No,” I said. “Just sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.”

“I know.”

“So, sleep.”

“Can’t.”

“Try.”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder.”

“I am.”

“Do you need to go sleep in someone else’s bed?” I asked.

There was silence.

And then suddenly, I was hearing nothing but the sound of his breathing and his heart beating.

“I have never slept in someone else’s bed since I met you,” he said amidst the silence of the night.

I said nothing.

What was there to say?

“Don’t you believe me?” he asked.

“Just sleep, Archie,” I replied.

“I will,” he said, “Answer me first.”

“Why does it matter? You sleep in someone else’s bed or not, why does it concern me?” tanong ko sa kanya. He was the one who told me that he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Why was he acting like this?

Then there was silence yet again.

“Are you…” he asked. “Are you sleeping with someone?”

I knew he was waiting for my response.

I gave him none.  

**

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Chapter 25

Chapter 25

“What?” Archie asked when he caught me staring at him.

I slightly shook my head. “Nothing,” I said.

“Black tie, right?” he asked.

“What?”

“Dress code,” he replied. “For today’s event,” he continued nang hindi ako makasagot agad.

“Right,” sabi ko. Tumango ako. “Yes,” I continued.

“Okay,” he said while slightly shaking his head and fixing his tie.

“I’ll go and prepare,” sabi ko na lang dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. I was not used to him being home this early. He usually goes as late as he possibly could go. Siya na yata lagi ang huling umuuwi. Did he feel bad for his staff dahil hindi rin sila makakauwi hanggang nasa trabaho pa rin siya?

“Okay,” he said. “Take your time. Maaga pa naman.”

“Right…” I just replied and then I headed straight to the room.

I tried to ignore his presence and just focused on preparing. I’d be meeting a lot of people tonight—Maven and Abby included. I needed to be relaxed and get my head straight.

I took a half bath and then started to prepare. I decided that I would straighten my hair since I would be wearing a tube red floor length dress.

I grabbed my clutch nang matapos ako sa paglalagay ng makeup. Lumabas ako at agad na nakatingin si Archie sa gawi ko na para bang nakaabang siya sa pagbukas ng pinto.

“Let’s go,” I said when a few seconds passed and he said nothing but stared at me. I stood there, waiting for him to say something pero nanatili lang siya na nakatingin sa akin. “What?” I asked when a full minute passed with him doing nothing but to stare at me.

Instead of saying something, tumayo siya.

“You look good,” he managed to say.

“Thanks,” I replied. “Let’s go.”

He did not give any indication that he’s ready to leave.

“Do you have something to do? Or somewhere to go?” I asked dahil baka nagbago ang isip niya. It’s fine. Sanay naman ako na pumunta sa event mag-isa. And it’s not like the people around me weren’t privy to my private affairs. I knew they know. Didn’t matter—business is business.

“Wait here,” sabi niya.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d tell him that we needed to leave already. Instead, I stood there and waited hanggang sa makabalik siya. When he came back, he was holding something on his hand. That was the least of my concern. Gusto ko na lang makapunta sa venue. We had lots of people we needed to talk to.

“Can we leave now?” I asked.

“Just one second,” he told me as he walked until he stopped right in front of me. He gently pulled the box open and a diamond necklace appeared right in front of me.

My forehead creased as my eyes went from looking at the necklace. Was that a diamond necklace? I wanted to tell myself that there’s no way Archie could afford that kind of necklace with his measly salary, but the sparkle could not be denied.

“Can I?” he asked, indicating that he wanted to put on the necklace around my neck.

I looked at him. “Where did you get that?” I asked with my forehead creased.

“What do you mean where did I get this? I bought this,” he replied.

“With what money?” tanong ko. By the looks of that necklace, it’s at least a million.

Kumunot na ang noo niya. “ My money,“ he said. “Can you just please let me do a nice thing?” he asked again, this time, the irritation in his tone was very palpable.

“Fine,” I said.

Archie uttered something under his breath that I was thankful that I did not hear. I did not want to be annoyed, too. We could not be annoyed at the same time. I realized that in this… relationship, I always have to be the neutral one. If not, we’d always argue. And it’s tiring.

He got the necklace and then placed the box on the table. He walked and stood behind me. I hated that the hair on my nape stood on their end just by the mere fact that he was so close to me.

It’s embarrassing.

“Your hair,” he said in a low tone.

I did not want to engage in a conversation. Hinawi ko iyong buhok ko papunta sa balikat ko. I did not even notice that I was holding my breath as he put on the necklace on me until I needed to catch air.

And when he was done, he walked around until he was standing in front of me.

“That’s what was missing,” he said.

I wanted to touch the necklace, but I told myself not to. Instead, tumingin ako sa kanya. “Can we now leave?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

Sabay kaming naglakad palabas. I felt him staring at me, but I chose to ignore it. This was not the night to argue. I was pretty sure that we’d see Maven and Abby and if there’s any night that I needed us to get along, this

was the night. Sure, those two knew that it’s not all rainbow and sunshine over here, but they did not need a demonstration.

“I was supposed to give that to you on our wedding anniversary,” he said.

I did not reply.

Just for this night, I did not want to fight.

“I actually wanted to give that on our first anniversary, but diamond’s expensive,” he continued. “Had to save for it.”

I briefly closed my eyes. “Thank you, but you didn’t need to,” I told him.

“I know, but I wanted to,” he replied. “I did not steal it.”

“I know. You’re the last person I’d expect to commit a diamond heist,” I said.

His lips slightly parted. “Is that an insult?”

I shrugged. “Take it as you will.”

Bahagya siyang natawa. Sumandal siya at pinagkrus iyong mga binti niya. “I mean, in this day and age, why bother with committing a diamond heist?” he said, his tone much lighter this time. What happened today? He seemed to be in such a good mood.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “For the thrill.”

“Of what? Not getting caught?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. I’ve never tried to steal anything.”

“Really? You? Never? Even when you were younger?”

Tumango ako. “Why would I? I grew up with everything handed to me. Why would I ever feel the need to steal?”

He shrugged. “As you said—for the thrill.”

“That’s what my cousins are for,” I replied. “I lived vicariously through them,” I continued. If he really knew me, he knew that I would never. Bata pa lang ako, alam ko na kung saan ako papunta. I would not risk that just to commit some petty theft—probably the reason why I was always in Psalm’s ear telling him to go do stupid things. Better him to get in trouble than me.

Thankfully, nakarating na kami sa venue. I drew a deep breath as we pulled over.

“Everything okay?” he asked. “You look… unusually nervous.”

“I’m not,” I replied as I looked at him.

“Is it because of Maven?” My lips parted against my will. He reached for my hand, but instinctively, I pulled away. Napaawang din ang labi niya sa gulat sa ginawa ko. I just flinched against his touch. “I’m sorry,” he said.

I shook my head. “It’s fine,” I replied. “Just… let’s go talk to some people.”

Tumango siya. “Alright.”

While we were walking, agad kong nakita si Jack. I briefly closed my eyes because I knew that he would be approaching me. And I also knew that this would not turn out well.

This was the last thing that I needed tonight.

“Hey,” he said as he kissed my cheek upon approaching. Kahit hindi ako tumingin kay Archie ay nararamdaman ko iyong sama ng tingin niya.

“Archie, this is Jack,” I introduced. “Jack, this is my husband, Atty. Archibald Gallego,” I said, hoping that this would diffuse the one-sided tension that was forming on Archie’s end.

“Of course,” Jack said, smiling and offering his hand. “Nice to finally meet you, Mayor.”

Tumingin ako kay Archie. I saw him smiling. I knew that smile all too well.

“Nice to finally meet you,” Archie said as he took Jack’s hand.

Tumingin sa akin si Jack. “I see,” he said. “You finally decided to wear my gift. About damn time.”

Agad akong napahawak sa kwintas habang nakatingin kay Archie. Kitang kita ko iyong pagkunot ng noo niya. Hindi pa ako nakakasagot nang biglang magpaalam si Jack dahil may nakita siyang kakilala niya.

And then we were left there.

Huminga ako nang malalim.

“We’ll talk about this later,” I said, as I left him and began to mingle because that was what we went here for.

---

I tried my best to ignore Archie’s personal feelings and just focused on the goal. I was glad that he also tried his best to act professional. He improved a lot. He’s now more… in control. He could now talk to people without disdain on his face being so obvious.

He’s finally learning.

“We still needed to talk to a few more people,” I said. Wala pa rito sila Abby. It wasn’t that surprising. She really was not known for her punctuality. Everyone knew that she’s busy with her side hustle.

“So, that guy gave you a diamond necklace?”

“Not now,” I told him.

“What? Just making a conversation,” he said.

Tumingin ako sa kanya. “Conversation or trying to pick a fight?”

Umiling siya. “Conversation.”

“Fine,” I said because I knew that he would not drop it. “Yes, he did give me. No, I did not know that it’s identical. I never really looked at it and I doubt that he remembers what it looks like.”

“Why did he give you a diamond necklace?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just accepted it and said thanks.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it,” I replied. “What? Did you think I had to do something in return?”

Hindi siya nagsalita.

His face softened.

“No,” he said. “I’m sorry,” he continued as he reached for my hand. Hindi ako gumalaw. I saw as his thumb started to caress my hand. I tried to pull it away, but he held on to me tighter. “I’m sorry,” he said once more. I knew that he was pertaining to something else, but I just did not want to get into it this time.

“Not now,” I told him.

Tumingin siya sa akin habang tumatango. His phone began to vibrate. Sabay kaming napatingin doon. My mood immediately did a 180 when I saw Rosie’s name there. Kung gaano ko kabilis nabasa iyon ay ganoon din kabilis niya pinatay iyong tawag. He put his phone back in his pocket.

“Let’s go,” he said with a forced smile on his face. “Lots of people to talk to,” he continued as he began to walk like he was trying to get away from me as soon as possible.

Did something happen between him and Rosie? 

**

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Chapter 26

Chapter 26

“Do you want to go home already?” I asked while we were standing side by side.

“Do you want to go home?” he asked back.

“Not yet,” I replied.

“Then, no,” he said. “Why will I go home if you’re still here?”

“Because clearly, your head is elsewhere.”

Narinig ko iyong pagbuntong hininga niya. Whatever was in that message, it was enough to make him bothered. Kanina pa siya hindi mapakali. A part of me wanted to know what it was, but another part of me reminded myself that it’s none of my concern.

At best, we’re business partners.

I should stay on my lane and everything will be fine.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Napaawang ang labi ko. Did he actually apologize? This was… weird. I was used to him being passive-aggressive or sometimes, straight to aggression.

What was in that message?

What did Rosie tell him?

“Ilan pa ba ang dapat nating kausapin?” he asked.

I wanted to tell him that we could already go home since he looked so bothered by whatever it was… but this was work. Whatever business he had with Rosie, he should deal with that on his own time. This was far more important.

“Just two more people,” I replied.

“Kasama si Jack?” he asked.

“What?” I asked, my forehead creased.

“Why did he give you a diamond necklace?” he asked.

“We’re back to that, I see,” I replied as I started to walk because I also did not want to talk about that topic. It was just a necklace.

Archie tried his best to act normal, but I was his wife. Of course I knew when he’s acting normal and when something’s at the back of his mind. I ignored it until it was time to go home.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Home.”

“Oh. Okay. Akala ko may iba pa tayong kakausapin.”

I did not reply to his last sentence and instead, decided to walk in silence. Tahimik lang din ako sa loob ng sasakyan. When I glanced at his side, nakita ko na nakatingin lang siya sa labas. I’d see him sigh and then run his fingers through his hair.

“Thank you,” I said when he opened the door for me.

“You’re always welcome,” he replied with a small smile on his face.

He was still silent as we were waiting for the lift. When we went inside, I was just staring at his reflection on the mirror—unabashedly at that. After a while, he finally caught me staring.

“You want a picture?” he asked in a lighter manner.

“Are you okay?” I asked. It was a valid question. Even he should know that he’s acting weirdly.

He gave an unconvincing nod. “Yes, of course,” sabi niya. He gave me an equally unconvincing smile. “Just work.”

“Is that what Rosie texted?”

Bahagyang napaawang ang labi niya. “What?”

“I didn’t read anything,” I said. “My eyes accidentally glanced when a notification came in.”

Hindi siya nagsalita.

When we reached our place, I quietly removed my shoes and walked towards our room. I wanted to ask more, but I needed to stop. It wasn’t any of my concern. I needed to be constantly reminded of that.

“Nadia,” he called my name.

Lumingon ako.

I waited for him to say something.

To tell me what the text was about.

“What?” I asked.

Bahagya siyang umiling. “Nothing,” he replied. “Just wanted to say good night.”

I gave him a small nod. “You won’t sleep yet?”

Umiling siya. “Work.”

“Okay,” I replied as I got inside the room.

I did my usual routine and tried my best to fall asleep, but who was I kidding? I just kept on tossing and turning and thinking about all the worst case scenario.

Did he get her pregnant?

Because that’s the worst case scenario.

I finally gave up.

I grabbed my phone and saw that it was already 1AM. I knew that Archie wasn’t beside me yet dahil kanina pa ako gising. I got up and quietly walked hanggang sa makarating ako sa pinto. I tried to open the door as quietly as I could. Nang mabuksan ko iyon, I took a peek and saw Archie standing with his back on me. He was on the phone with someone. Whoever he was talking to, he seemed frustrated—judging by the way he was standing and by the way his hand was placed on the island.

I didn’t know whether to make my presence known or to just go back to sleep. But I guessed I didn’t have to worry about that because he turned around and saw me as I was spying on him.

His mouth turned agape.

He looked like a deer caught in headlight.

“I’ll talk to you later,” he said to whoever he was on the phone with. Inilagay niya sa bulsa niya iyong cellphone niya. “Hey,” he told me. “I thought you were sleeping already?”

Tumango ako. “I was just about to get a glass of water,” I replied.

“Oh.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.”

I should I just ask him.

If he got her pregnant, that my business, too, right? I worked hard to get us to where we are right now. And right from the beginning, he knew about my conditions to make everything work for us.

“Archie,” I called his name.

He looked at me.

I drew a deep breath.

“Did you get her pregnant?” I asked.

I watched as the color on his face drained.

It was like the wind was knocked out of my chest.

He did not.

“N-no,” he said.

Hindi ako makapagsalita.

Hindi ako makagalaw.

It was like I was watching everything I built for us crumble right before me.

Of course he got her pregnant!

And of course she’ll keep that baby! She’s in love with him!

I briefly closed my eyes and tried to regain control of my breathing. Pagdilat ng mga mata ko, nakita ko na nakatingin siya sa akin. He looked so scared and ashamed and remorseful all at once.

“I didn’t—” he said and then stopped. “I didn’t know how this could happen.”

I stared at him.

I didn’t know what to say.

I wanted to say a lot of things, but I wanted to say the one that would hurt the most.

“I—” He stopped again. Tumingin siya sa akin. He took a step forward, but I shook my head at him. I needed the distance between us now more than ever.

“I what?” I asked when he said nothing. “I’m sorry I fucked up? I’m sorry I am such a disappointment?”

Hindi siya makapagsalita.

I stared right into his eyes.

“Tell me,” I said. “Did you,” I continued and then I paused. “Did you sleep with her?”

I knew he did because if not, he would not be acting like this. But he never directly told me before that there’s something happening between them.

I thought that maybe there’s none.

I thought that maybe, he’s just like me.

That he wouldn’t have the desire to be with someone else.

But who was I kidding? All my life, I’d been disappointed with men. He’s nothing different from all of them. Different name; equally disappointing.

“Answer me.”

He looked at me with fear in his eyes.

“Answer me!”

“Yes,” he said that almost sounded like a whisper—like he was afraid to say the word because it would make it come true.

It was the world stopped spinning.

He did.

He did sleep with her.

Her of all people.

How can I now look at her? She’s not even half of me and she thinks she’s had half of me?

“Nadia—”

I looked at him and shook my head. “No,” I said.

“Nadia, please—”

“No,” I replied as I started to walk back to the room. But he was quicker than me. He stood right in front of me. I looked up at him. “Move,” I said.

Umiling siya. “Let’s talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I said.

“Nadia—”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I repeated. “There are only things to fix now.”

I watched as confusion appeared on his face.

And then fear.

“You won’t—”

“Good night, Gallego,” I said as I got past him and locked the door behind me. 

**

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Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I woke up a minute earlier than the alarm. I stayed lying and stared at the ceiling until I heard the inevitable sound. I sat down, stood up, and started to walk. Dumiretso ako sa coffee machine para gumawa ng kape. I made myself a cup—an extra strong one this time. I knew that I’d need energy to get through today.

Lots of things that needed to be done.

I needed to talk to Cheryl.

I needed to consult with a crisis manager.

And I still needed to have a talk with Abuela. I knew that she’s aware. It’s of no use to pretend that she’s not aware of everything that’s happening.

I stood there and waited as my coffee finished brewing. When it was done, I poured it in my cup. I took a sit and enjoyed the silence—this was probably one of the last few moments of silence that I’d have in a while.

“Nadia.”

I looked at him. He had been watching my every movement simula nang lumabas ako sa kwarto. He looked like guilt was eating him alive. What for? He surely wasn’t guilty when he was sticking his dick in that girl.

“Nadia, can we talk?”

“Later,” I replied.

“Really?”

“I need to consult with some people first.”

Napakunot ang noo niya. “What?”

I held on to my cup. It was still hot, but not as hot as I would have wanted. I wanted it scalding. I wanted to burn. I wanted to feel something because I felt nothing now. All I could think of was how to fix this mess that he started.

Because I was far too gone now.

Too many people were involved.

Promises were made.

Money

were spent.

And people don’t play when it comes to money.

“About what the next appropriate action is,” I said.

“What? No. I don’t care about that—”

“Well, start caring,” I told him. “I’ll be meeting with some people first. I’ll have them meet you once we get everything fixed.”

His forehead started to crease. “What?”

I finished my cup of coffee.

I looked at him.

“Trust me—you don’t want to know,” I replied as I stood up because I had a long day ahead of me.

---

Archibald had been blowing up my phone—so much so that I had to temporarily block his number because I could not be seeing his notification every time I would check my phone. I had other things that needed to be prioritized.

“Before we begin,” Kerry, the crisis manager, said, “I need to know what your end goal is.”

“Presidency,” I simply replied.

She gave me a small nod. “How far are we willing to go?”

“Very far,” I replied as I saw that Archibald was using a different number to message me to ask me where I was and to ask when we could talk.

He’s relentless for all the wrong reasons.

“Alright,” she said with a very serious face. She’s quite expensive, but she’s very good at her job. She’s who Senator Velasquez use whenever he or his family would get in trouble. So far, the reputation’s unblemished. I’d say she’s worth the price tag. “First, we will need to know how far along she is,” Kerry, the crisis manager, told me. “If she’s far along enough that we can get a paternity test.”

I nodded. The irrational part of my mind would think that it’s a possibility na hindi si Archibald ang tatay kung totoong buntis man ang babaeng ’yon. But I’d seen how she looks at him. I knew that she’d jump at any chance to get in bed with him.

And Archibald? He’s an idiot who would not see what was happening right in front of him. If any, I’d say they’re a match made in hell.

“Do you have any question?” she asked.

Umiling ako. “Nothing,” I replied.

“I’ll contact you again once we get a word on the paternity—”

“No need,” I said. “I just need you to take care of it.”

Kerry’s lips parted at the realization of what I was asking. She quickly regained her composure and gave me a tightlipped smile. Was she surprised? Why did she think I contacted her? I was sure that she’s done worse than this.

“Alright,” she replied.

“Great,” I said. “I don’t need to know the details,” I continued.

“I understand.”

“Plausible deniability.”

“As always,” she replied.

I stood up and headed to my next appointment. I figured that before I talk to Abuela, I needed to make sure that everything’s fixed—or at the very least, getting fixed. Ayoko na pumunta roon na parang bata na nagsusumbong na may problema. If I go there, I will go there with both the problem and the solution. That’s how it should be.

“Not now,” I said nang subukan akong kausapin ni Archibald. I stood in front of him and pretended to fix his collar. We’re in the middle of doing a campaign.

“Pagkatapos nito?” he asked.

I smiled at him. I heard the camera clicking. I pretended to fix his hair.

“No,” I said.

“Kailan?”

Nanatili lang iyong ngiti sa labi ko. Was I still smiling? Probably. It’s always been like this during campaign season. My face has the muscle memory of how it needs to look like at times like this one. “Let’s focus on this first,” I said in the sweetest tone I could muster because there were a lot of ears around us.

“Okay,” he said. “Can… can I ask a question? Isang tanong lang.”

I stared at him.

People were watching.

“Later,” I replied.

“Nadia—”

“I said later,” I said one more time, my tone never faltering. I gave his shoulders a tap. “Later,” I repeated.

I could see how unfocused he was, but I ignored it and proceeded to shaking the hands of the voters. I listened to all their stories—they’re all the same. I’d heard the same story a thousand of times, but every time I’d hear it, I’d listen to it like it was the first time I ever heard of it.

These people just wanted someone to listen and that’s what I’ll give them. As Abuela always say, promise these people a little and they’ll give you the world.

After hours of shaking people’s hands, I was sitting and watching as Archibald gave his speech. He was good at doing this, thank God. It’s at least one less thing to worry about.

“Ma’am,” Cheryl said.

“What?” I replied.

“About what you asked me—”

“Did you do it?”

“Yes.”

“Then I don’t wanna hear about it,” I said, cutting her off.

This campaign was too important for me to be distracted. I did not care about that girl nor the baby inside of her, but the last thing I needed was her to act all pregnant in public. She has no boyfriend. She’s all over Archibald. It did not take a rocket scientist to put two and two together.

So, I told Cheryl to get a new assistant for Archibald and if anyone asks, tell them that she’s sick. I mean, she’s probably sick from all the morning sickness.

Whatever.

My hands automatically clapped for Archibald as he finished his speech. It was a good speech, of course—full of promises and hope for the future. In his defense, he’d probably fulfill some of those. Ganon naman talaga sa pulitika—overpromise and under deliver.

After the speech, I was immediately escorted to the car. If it were up to me, I’d leave immediately and go home. It had been a long day and all I wanted to do was to be in my tub and to drink wine and to plan the next day. But of course I needed to wait for my husband.

I quietly listened to some classical music while I was waiting for him to finish talking to some people. My eyes were closed and my head was resting, but all my senses were all too aware when he opened the car. I knew it was him. I knew his energy and his cologne.

And just like that, I was more tired than ever.

I knew he’d want to talk.

“Nadia,” he called after a full minute passed of him just staring at me.

I opened my eyes. “What?” I asked as I stared at the ceiling of the car.

“I just… I just need to know that you did not do anything to Rosie,” he said quickly like he just needed to get the words out of his system. Hindi ako nagsalita. He knew what I’d do. I told him right from the beginning. I did not care if he takes on another woman—I draw the line on having kids out of wedlock. If he wanted kids, he’d have it with me and we’d have a surrogate.

I had been nothing but clear.

“Hindi siya pumasok ngayon,” he continued when he received nothing but silence from my end. “Nadia…” he called again.

I sighed. I was so tired from this day. I needed a glass of wine and a good night sleep because tomorrow might be another day, but it’s still the same.

“She’s safe,” I said.

“Okay,” he replied. “And… the baby?”

Umayos ako ng upo at tumingin sa kanya. “You know how I feel about babies born outside of my marriage,” I told him. I saw the blood drain out of his face. Why was he surprised? This should be the least surprising thing about me. He knew about my family. I did not want a repeat of that.

Hindi siya nakapagsalita.

“Any more question?” I asked him.

He remained quiet.

Thank God.

“Great,” I said as I knocked on the window, signaling that it’s time for us to go home.

Tahimik lang siya hanggang sa makauwi kami. I thought his silence would continue until the morning, but I heard his voice while I was trying to pour myself a glass of wine. He was standing behind me.

“It’s been a long day,” sabi ko na inunahan siya.

“It happened once,” he said.

“Immaterial,” I replied.

“I… I don’t even know if I’m the father.”

Tumingin ako sa kanya. “God, you’re such a disappointment. You got her pregnant. At least take some accountability.”

“One time,” he said. “I was drunk—”

“I don’t care,” I told him. “You know the rule—no bastards.”

“Nadia—”

“No,” I told him because I knew that he’d just promise me things and if there’s anything I know about him, it’s that his words meant shit. He’s got no follow through. He makes promises like the politician that he was.

“If the baby is not yours, nothing will happen,” I told him. I only care about bastard from my marriage. I could not care less about other people. I have a lot of things going on in my life to care about others.

“It’s just a baby…” he said.

“Well, you should’ve thought about that before you got someone pregnant,” I replied.

Hindi siya nakapagsalita.

I was clear.

He couldn’t put this on me.

“That baby’s innocent,” he said.

“Surely, you would feel the same if I got pregnant with someone else’s baby,” I told him and I saw his jaw clench. So, what now? It’s only bad if I do it? If it’s him, he gets to have a free pass?

It’s a man’s world and we all just live it in.

“I’m sorry,” he said after he probably managed to calm himself down. Great. I had no energy to continue with this worthless conversation. It sounded sincere, but who cares, really? Not me.

“Sure,” I replied.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t want it to happen. You have to believe me.”

Tumingin ako sa kanya. “It doesn’t matter what I believe,” I said.

“It does,” mabilis niyang sabi. “It does matter to me. I want you to believe me, Nadia. I never meant for it to happen. I know that our marriage was struggling, but I never really gave up on us. I knew that one day, we’ll get back together again. I just…” He took a step forward, but I shook my head. His lips parted. His face reflected the face of a person whose heart got stepped on. Probably.

“I messed up.”

Seconds passed.

“I messed up real bad.”

I gave him an empty look.

“Don’t worry about it,” I told him. “I grew up with men like you. I know how to fix your mess,” I continued before I walked away with my glass of wine. 

**

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Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Were it not for the fact that election’s right around the corner and that I was very aware that all eyes were on us, I would have stayed elsewhere. I was fine with living with Archibald. I was already used to his presence around me—what I was not used and what annoyed me— was him watching my every move. It made me feel like I was under the microscope. I was already under the watchful eyes when we’re out doing campaign—the last thing I wanted was to be watched as well in the privacy of my own home.

“San ka pupunta?” he asked when I suddenly stood up. I had been sitting on the couch for quite a while. He had been creeping up on me for quite a while, too.

“Out,” I simply replied.

“Saan?”

“Dinner.”

“You said you’re tired,” he replied.

“Yes, but I’m hungry, too,” sagot ko sa kanya.

“I can cook.”

“Good for you,” I said.

I felt his eyes following me habang naglalakad ako papunta sa pinto. I was very much aware that for the past days, he’d been trying to ‘fix’ us. He’d been very nice to me that it started to made me feel weird. Archibald’s been always nice to me to an extent… pero iyong bait niya ngayon sa akin ay may halong hiya sa ginawa niya. It’s fascinating to know that he’s actually ashamed of what he did.

Men… they’re different but to their core? All just the same.

He’s like every guy I know but in different font.

Equally disappointing, if I may say so.

I threw on a black slip on dress, black Oran sandals, and black YSL shoulder bag.

“Nadia,” he called nang makalabas ako.

“What?” I asked.

Natigilan siya sa tono ng sagot ko. I really try to extend my patience with him. I was over it already—I think. I just had a lot of things going on right now and I really didn’t want to dwell on the fact that he got someone pregnant. What I cared about was for him not to embarrass me in public. He’s still my husband. I’m his wife but he got someone else pregnant? I knew that for some twisted reason, people will still think that I’m at fault for that.

“Kung gutom ka, magluluto ako… Para hindi ka na umalis… Kasi sabi mo pagod ka.”

I looked at him, my forehead slightly creased from annoyance. “It’s been a long day, Archibald—”

“Archie,” he said. “You stopped calling me Archie.”

“So?”

“It doesn’t sound right.”

“So?”

He sighed. “Nadia—”

“I just want to go somewhere and have a quiet dinner. I hope that that isn’t too much to ask,” sabi ko sa kanya.

We had this same exact conversation in so many different ways.

This was exhausting.

Then his phone began to ring.

“Won’t you answer that?” I asked nang makita ko kung sino iyong tumatawag.

He put his phone in his pocket. “No.”

“It might be an emergency,” I said.

“Nadia…”

“What?” I asked. I gave him five seconds to say something, pero wala siyang sinabi. I gave him a small shrug. “If you have nothing to say, I’ll go ahead and eat.”

Dumiretso ako sa pagkain sa labas. I drove around in silence. I chose to eat in a restaurant where I knew I could get privacy, but of course, the universe, as of the late, was consipiring against me. Ni hindi rin ako nakapagrelax dahil kay Jack. He was good company, though. I told him I was not in the mood to politely ignore his advances and that if he wanted to eat dinner with me, we’d have to do it in silence, to which he agreed.

Then we headed to the nearby bar in the hotel for a night cap. We talked—well, mainly him because I was just there to enjoy my drink and at most, I was just tolerating his existence. Pagkatapos nun, hinatid niya ako sa sasakyan ko.

“You sure you’re okay to drive?” he asked while he was standing outside my car.

“Of course,” I replied. “I had one drink.”

He chuckled. “Okay. Was just asking.”

“Good night, Jack,” I said.

“Wait,” sabi niya bago ko pa man maitaas iyong bintana. I looked at him. “Call me.”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “About what?”

“If you need someone,” he said.

Of course he knew.

Sometimes, I hated how small our world is. I like it when it’s beneficial for me, but not when everyone’s on my business. This was exactly why I told him not to have any bastard. Because to have an affair? It’s nothing new. To create a whole human? That’s something else.

“Good night, Jack,” I said once again before I drove off.

I knew I should drive back home, but for some reason, I decided to just go to Tagaytay. It was already midnight. Mabilis na lang akong makakarating doon. Besides, 11AM pa naman ang unang appointment ko bukas.

Right.

Why was I justifying this against myself?

Dumiretso ako sa Tagaytay. Pagdating ko roon, I took a quick shower and went straight to sleep. I didn’t even bother to dry my hair. And when I woke up, I was so relaxed. This has been the most relaxed I’d been in a while. Siguro dahil alam ko na walang Archibald na sasalubong sa akin pagbukas ng mga mata ko.

I was in a relatively good mood—I even invited my security to have breakfast with me, to which they declined, but hey, at least I offered. And then I was headed back to Manila once again.

Dumiretso muna ako sa bahay para magpalit. I always look presentable in public, but there’s this certain look that I always want to achieve during campaign period. I did not want to look too polished that there’s gonna be a wall between me and the people, but I also did not want to look like I was one of them.

When I opened the door, he was on the couch. I knew he was there because I immediately sensed him. He was looking at me. Did he even sleep? There were circles around his eyes.

“Did you sleep?” I asked.

“Did you?” he asked back.

I nodded. “Best sleep in a while,” I simply replied habang naglalakad ako papunta sa kwarto. I needed to take another shower and to prepare for this day. We’ll be out the whole day.

“Saan ka natulog?” he asked.

“Tagaytay,” I replied.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“With whom?”

Napatingin ako sa kanya. “I slept alone,” I told him. Nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin. “Why are you suddenly curious?” I asked.

“Please be honest.”

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ko. “I am being honest,” I said. “Just because you slept with someone else doesn’t mean that I do it, too, Archibald.”

I’d seen this happen. I’d see a man cheat on his wife and then he becomes paranoid that his wife is doing the same, too. It’s bewildering how a man’s mind works. Also, a proof that guilty conscience does the most.

I took a longer than intended shower dahil alam ko na paglabas ko ay makikita ko na naman siya. I was wearing my robe as I sat in front of my vanity. Nakita ko siya na nakatingin sa leeg ko. What was he looking for? Evidence of my affair?

“Go take a nap,” I told him dahil kung anu-ano na ang pumapasok sa isip niya dahil siguro kulang siya sa tulog. I couldn’t have him act like this in public. Kung kaming dalawa lang, okay lang dahil sanay naman na ako sa kanya.

And then his phone rang again.

“Have you talked to her?” I asked dahil mukhang wala siyang balak na umalis.

“No,” he said.

“Not even on the phone?”

“No.”

“Why?”

He was holding my gaze through the mirror in front of me. “I don’t know…” he began. “I don’t know what I’ll say to her.”

“About what?”

“What you want to happen.”

I pursed my lips.

I knew what I wanted to happen, but even I knew that it wasn’t some decision that I made lightly. It was something that I had decided long before I met him—and it was something that I had told him before.

“What do I tell her?” he asked.

I grabbed my brush and started applying my blush. “I don’t know,” I said. “I wasn’t there when you made that child. Why am I suddenly involved now?”

Nakita ko iyong inis sa mukha niya. It’s rich coming from him, but I also understood why he was feeling this way. I was not pleasant to talk to, I know. Kapag naguusap kami ngayon, kapag hindi tungkol sa eleksyon o hindi importante para sa akin, I was just pissing him off intentionally.

“Can we talk like adults?” he asked.

“I have nothing to say, Archibald,” I replied and I saw how his jaw clenched when I called him by his legal name. “I told you—I’m just waiting for the results of the paternity.”

“And what will happen next?” he asked.

Tumingin ako sa kanya sa salamin. “You know what will happen next.”

I saw the pain cross his eyes.

Of course he wanted the baby.

He already lost the one he was supposed to have with me and now, I was doing the same with the other one. Oh, he must really hate me.

“Nadia…” he said my name like he was begging. “Wala bang ibang paraan?”

“Why do you talk like I’m the bad guy in this story?” I asked him. “I had been clear from the beginning, hadn’t I?” I asked again and he wouldn’t reply, but we both know the answer. “I gave you everything a man could ever ask for—I gave you the permission to have someone else. If you wanted a child so badly, I would’ve given you one, too.”

“You had—” he said and then stopped.

We had this conversation before.

He stopped before he opened the box that we had already buried.

At least he’s learning.

“I told you—surrogacy. I would’ve given you a child.”

Huminga siya nang malalim. “Nadia, please…” he pleaded. “I’m sorry… I will do anything that you want… Just please…” he said. “Don’t do this…”

Hindi ako nagsalita.

“I promise you Rosie—”

“Don’t even say her name in my presence,” I said, quickly cutting her off.

If he had gotten a random woman pregnant, I wouldn’t even be like this. There’s just… something about her that pushes the right buttons for me.

And I hated knowing that she has that power over me.

No one has that power over me except for her—and it’s all because of this man.

“If she can promise that she won’t do anything…” he began. “Will you at least try to reconsider?”

Tumingin ako sa kanya.

I stared at his face.

This man looked like he aged and it’s only been a few weeks since he dropped this bomb on me.

“You’ve been married to me for a while. Surely by now, you already know me,” I said. “Ask yourself—do you think I’ll ever agree to what you’re asking of me?” I asked him and the way his face fell down was answer enough.

Pagdating namin sa venue, nagsimula na iyong program. We were holding a program together with the other senatorial candidates. There were talent portion—Archibald even sang a song. I clapped and smiled and acted like a proud wife. It’s just very interesting how he was like smiling and laughing when just a few hours ago, he looked like heavens and earth fell down on him.

Born politician—or made by me. Arguable.

And then it was time to mingle with the crowd.

I slapped the best smile on my face and held the people’s hands. I was talking to them about their lives and their plights when suddenly, someone called my name.

“Hi, ma’am… pwede po ba kayong makausap?” Rosie asked, standing right in front of me, holding my hand like she didn’t want to let go. “In private pero kung busy po kayo, pwede rin naman na dito na lang.” 

**

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Chapter 29

Chapter 29

I knew there was something about her.

Give her a room and she’ll want the whole house.

Ilusyonada.

“Alright,” I replied, my face still sporting the smile that I’d been wearing all day. Tumingin ako sa gilid ko. They understood what I meant. Quickly, they guided Rosie to a private place. Kakausapin ko siya, pero mamaya na. I had other things that I needed to do first.

I continued talking to the public. Nang mapatingin ako sa gawi ni Archibald, nakita ko na ganoon din ang ginagawa niya. He looked normal. Hindi niya siguro nakita si Rosie kanina kasi kung nakita niya ’yon, I doubted that he’d be able to focus on the task at hand.

When I was done, I quickly excused myself. I knew that people were still watching me, so I maintained my demeanor. I asked kung saang sasakyan nakasakay si Rosie. I quickly headed that way.

I drew a deep breath bago ako pumasok sa sasakyan. I quietly took my seat. She was watching my every move. I instructed the driver to drive us somewhere away from the prying eyes.

“Ma’am…” she said in that… sad, sad tone. It’s quite fascinating. How could she justify in that little head of hers that she’s the victim in this situation? How could she go here and blackmail me into talking to her? How could she call me ‘ma’am’ like she respects me after she slept with my husband?

She’s quite the walking contradiction.

I rested my head and closed my eyes while were on the road. Kahit na nakapikit ang mga mata ko ay ramdam ko na nakatingin siya sa akin. And when my phone vibrated, I opened my eyes to check on who was calling.

Speak of the devil.

He probably finally learned na kasama ko si Rosie. Hindi naman siya normally tumatawag na sa akin. I mean, there’s no point, really. Lagi naman kaming magkasama kapag nasa campaign kami. And when we’re home, he’d just watch me around. Even at home, I couldn’t relax when he’s breathing on my neck.

Nakita ko na nakatingin doon si Rosie nang hayaan ko lang na kusang matapos iyong tawag. She was looking at his name on my phone like she wanted to answer it.

Oh, right.

Hindi nga pala siya kinakausap ni Archibald.

“What do you want?” I asked her straight ahead nang huminto na iyong sasakyan. We were in some basement parking lot. It was quiet. She could say anything right now. I could say anything right now. No one’s watching.

I waited for her to say something. I mean, surely she did have something to say. Afterall, she did seek me out. Naghintay siya na matapos iyong program. Pumila siya para makausap ako. She went through all the trouble to get me here.

“Ma’am…” she began.

“Cut to the chase, Rosie. Tell me why you’re here.”

Nakita ko na huminga siya nang malalim. I looked at her through my peripheral vision. She was wearing a loose shirt. At the very least, she probably cared about Archibald because she could’ve worn the tightest fitting shirt and create some rumor.

“Ma’am, alam ko po na alam niyo…”

“About what?” I asked. There was only silence on her head. Why? Couldn’t she tell me how she’s pregnant with the child of my husband? That she knowingly slept with a married man? Why was she acting like a wide-eyed virgin right now?

Hindi siya nakapagsalita, pero inilagay niya iyong kamay niya sa tiyan niya. I didn’t think it was for her to tell me that she’s married. She instinctively did that to protect that against me.

Like I was the monster.

Like I was the one who put her in this situation.

“Gusto ko lang naman pong makausap si Archie…”

Hindi ko napigilan ang tawa ko.

“Archie…” I mimicked. Gone were the days when she called him Mayor Gallego. But why was I surprised? They did way more intimate things that her calling him by his nickname.

“I am not his secretary,” I told her. “If you want to talk to him, go call him. I’m sure you have his number.”

“Hindi po siya sumasagot.”

“Then, there’s your answer,” I replied.

“Ma’am—”

“Can you stop calling me that?” I asked. For some reason, her calling me that and sounding like she’s the victim was rubbing me the wrong way.

“Pasensya na po. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang itatawag ko sa inyo.”

“Call me by my name,” I told her. “After all, you already slept with my husband. You should be comfortable enough to call me by my name.”

Nakita ko na napaawang iyong labi niya.

Either she’s really this innocent or she deserved an Oscar for this performance. She’s really selling it with that innocent role she’s playing.

“Look, Rosie, I’m gonna be straight with you,” I said, looking at her so that she’d know that every word I’d say, I meant it. “You slept with Archibald? I don’t care. I mean, if anything, I was offended,” I continued. I knew I sounded condescending but we both knew that she’s a downgrade. “You can have him.”

I watched as her hands slightly trembled.

Was she scared?

Why?

I was not here to fight with her—I would never fight over a man. She can have him.

“Sorry po…” she said. I watched as the tear fell from her eyes. I did not understand this girl. It was not like he lied to her and told her that he’s single. She knew from the get go that he’s married. Still, she knowingly slept with him. Kaya bakit siya umiiyak ngayon?

“Don’t be,” I replied. “A man that can be stolen is not a man worth keeping.”

Besides, if there’s anything I learned in life, it’s that a snake can shed its skin, but can never change its color.

“So, keep him. Have him. I don’t care.”

The tears fell quicker.

God.

What did she want? Did she expect me to engage in a cat fight with her over him?

“Iyong…” she said in between. “Iyong baby po…”

She held on to her skirt so tightly that it begam to crumple.

“Pangako po hindi ako manggugulo…”

I just stared at her.

“Hindi ko po sasabihin kahit kanino iyong…” she said as she tried her hardest to even her breathing. “Iyong sa tatay niya po…”

I remained silent. Times like this, silence is way scarier than words. Because in silence, they can paint the worst case scenarios in their head—their own personalized version of hell.

“Please po…”

“Why? What do you think I’ll do?” I asked.

Hindi siya nagsalita.

She looked at me with those frightened eyes of hers… but even with fear, I sensed how she hated me.

“Please po, ma’am,” she said. “Mananahimik po kami ng anak ko… Pangako po…”

I stared at her.

The more I stared at her, the more disrespected I felt.

This?

This was the woman he chose over me?

“You should’ve thought about that before you got yourself in this situation, Rosie,” I said as I straightened my seat. She was still looking at me. I could see her at the mirror. I could see how quickly the tears were falling. I could see the fear and despair on her face.

“Ma’am—”

“No, you listen to me now,” I said because I was growing tired of listening to the same thing over and over again. I’d heard this before. Ganito rin iyong sinasabi ni Archibald sa akin. I was so over this conversation.

“Once I’m certain that my husband’s the father of that child—”

“Siya po ang tatay,” she quickly replied.

“You can’t blame me if I don’t trust your words,” I told her. “You opened your legs for a married man. Who knows who else you opened them for?”

Her face fell.

I wanted to feel bad for her, but she put herself in this situation. She needed to start taking some accountability. Bagay silang dalawa.

“Hindi po ako ganon,” she said while she was staring at her lap and while tears were continuously pouring. Can’t this girl do anything but cry? Sa ganyan din ba niya nakuha ang asawa ko? Sa pag-iyak at pagpapaawa?

“I don’t know that,” I said. “And frankly, I’m not interested to know at all,” I continued. “If there’s nothing more—”

“Ganon na lang po ba? Ano ang gusto niyong mangyari? Na mawala na lang ang anak ko?” she asked. Her tone was different. Suddenly, she felt like a different person. Was this the real her all along? Was the mask finally lifted now that she realized that she couldn’t get me to do what she wanted with some tears?

I looked straight into her eyes.

“Ganoon lang po ba kadali sa inyo ’yon? Na parang hindi tao iyong anak ko?”

I remained silent.

I’d just be giving her what she wanted if I’d react. After all, my mind’s already decided—it’s been decided long before I even knew she existed.

“Ano po? Ipapapatay niyo na lang kami ng anak ko? Sa tingin niyo po ba walang magtataka?”

“Your family’s dead, Rosie. Who will look for you?” I said before I could even stop myself because sometimes… sometimes you just want to go for the jugular.

I saw the shock written all over her face.

I wanted to apologize because even I knew that that was too much.

But I meant what I said—who did she think she was?

“I’m sure it’s not gonna be Archibald. You said it yourself—he’s not answering your calls,” I said. “So, why are you fighting for this baby? Clearly, it’s only you who wants it.”

Tears.

Hindi nauubusan ng luha ang isang ’to.

“Tama nga si Archie…” she said as she desperately tried to wipe the unending tears. “Wala kang puso,” she continued before she opened the door and got out of the car.

It was nothing new.

I’d heard it before.

But to know that he talked about me with her?

I wanted her gone.

---

Hindi ako umuwi.

I did not want to see Archibald because unlike all the other nights, I did not have the restraint to stop myself from arguing with him.

I did not want to go to a hotel because I did not want to be left alone with my thoughts.

I did not have the time to go to Tagaytay.

I most certainly did not want to go to my family’s house.

“You don’t have to entertain me,” sabi ko kay Addie.

She shrugged. “I’m not doing anything,” she replied.

We were sitting on the couch, surrounded with silence. Kanina pa ako nandito. She prepared food—or at least she tried. She just put a platter of cheese in front of me, a bottle of wine, and two glasses. But we both were not in the mood. They were still untouched.

“You hate Abby, right?” I said.

“I don’t hate her,” Addie replied.

“Right,” I said as I reached for the wine and began to open it.

“Just that… anyone else would be way better,” she said. “Like literally anyone else.”

“Still hung-up on the plane?”

“Of course I am!” Addie said. “Who does that? And seriously, how can Maven sleep beside her every night? She’s literally evil.”

I still remember the day I learned about what Abby did. I was half scared, half fascinated. She’s stop at nothing to get what she wanted. No wonder why Abuela likes her kahit hindi niya direktang sabihin.

“All that for what? A six-year term? Is it really worth losing your humanity for a position in the government?” she asked while she was looking at me like she knew what I was planning on doing. Or maybe she did. It’s Addie after all.

And in our world, there’s no secret—only delayed truth. Kaya hindi ako naniniwala na mananatiling sikreto iyong kay Rosie. Because one day, someone will find out. One day, someone will use that against us.

After all, blackmail has always been the name of the game.

“Maybe,” I said. “That six-year position comes with a lot of benefits,” I continued.

“Worth taking people’s lives?”

I took a small sip. “A lot of people died for a lot less.”

“And do you seriously want to be like those people?” she asked, asking me directly.

“What?”

“Come on,” she said. “I know why you went here.”

Sumandal ako. Tahimik na hawak ko iyong baso.

“I know this has been your dream for as long as you can remember,” she said. “And I know that you’ll do anything to get what you want… but… think about it, Nadia. Once you do that, there’s no going back. It’s not like… it’s not like you can just apologize and take it back.”

I remained silent.

I… didn’t know what to say.

“I know you want to be like Abuela… I know you want to be like her—powerful and all the things you admire about her. But look at her… does she look happy? Is that really who you want to be like—always hungry for more; never quite contented?”

Addie looked at me and smiled.

“You’re not like them, Nadia. And thank God for that,” she said before she left me alone with my thoughts. 

**

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Chapter 30

Chapter 30

There are things I say, but I knew I never really could do.

Because despite my best intentions, sadly, I’m still human.

And to be human is to have a heart.

A heart that I cannot just turn off on a whim.

‘This is a bad idea,’ I told myself as I was on the way. It was barely 8AM and my day was already about to be ruined.

Kerry sent me an email last night.

I didn’t want to open it, but I figured might as well rip the band aid off. I clicked on the notification and finished a glass of wine while waiting for the attachment to load.

The moment I saw the result, I stood up and left. I left my phone—for the first time in my life, I left my phone. I just needed to be alone. I just needed to think. I just needed to decide because whatever decision I choose to make would define me for the rest of my life.

Nobody else would know.

But I would know.

And that’s more frightening.

And now it’s morning again.

Panibagong araw na masisira.

I had someone pick her up. I didn’t want to go to her place. Ayoko na may makakita sa akin sa lugar niya. Besides, why would I go to her? Sino ba siya?

I was ushered to a private room. Pagpasok ko roon, agad ko siyang nakita. She was sporting that sad look on her face again. Wala ba siyang ibang alam gawin kung hindi ang malungkot? I still could not wrap my head around the idea that this was the woman my husband chose to impregnate.

“I will be quick,” I said after I took my seat.

Tumingin siya sa akin. There was a mixture of fear and hope in her eyes. But she looked scared. She should be. I could very well ruin her life. She could choose any woman’s husband but she dared to choose mine?

“I got the result of test,” I continued. I saw how her hands trembled a little. I relished on the look of fear in her eyes. “Surprisingly, you weren’t lying.”

I watched every little movement on her face.

I was betting on a lot by even going to this place. I could have her gone. I could have her disappeared. No one would look for her because I was right—she had no family. No one really loves her. Niloloko niya lang ang sarili niya kung iniisip siya na mahal siya ni Archibald. Because if he did love her, he would not put her in this position—cowering in fear, alone, right in front of me.

“If I were to be completely honest, my first instinct was to get rid of that child,” I said. There was fear in her eyes, but no surprise. Good. At least she knew what I was capable of doing. “But I changed my mine.”

She breathed in relief.

Magpasalamat siya kay Addie.

I was already aware of everything that she said… I just needed reminding. Because she’s right. I never would be able to live with myself if I killed an innocent child—a product of my husband’s shitty decision, yes, but still an innocent child.

And I hated the very fact that he was the one who made a mess, but I was the one who would suffer the consequences of his decision. Because if I did that, it would be on my conscience. Because the blood would be on my own hands. Because it would be my own doing. Kahit siya naman ang nagsimula.

God, I hated how I could not just turn my conscience off.

“So, here’s my offer.”

“Kahit ano po, ma’am, basta…” she said as she took a deep breath like I just kicked her to death. God, why did she always act like this? Is this a new personality trait? “Basta iyong baby ko po…”

I, myself, needed to take a deep breath.

This girl was insufferable.

“I’ll let the baby live,” I said. I saw that she was about to spout her nonsense again. “Let me finish,” I continued because we would be here for the entire day if she keeps on interrupting me with her nonsense. “You’ll sign an NDA. You’ll give the baby up after you give birth.”

Umawang ang labi niya. “Give…up?”

Has she always been this slow?

I nodded. “I will take that baby and raise it,” I said. Now that I think about it, I should probably stop addressing the baby as it .

“Ano po?”

“I will start wearing a faking belly. Then I’ll have a simulated birth when you give birth. I’ll be taking the baby and I’ll be signing the birth certificate,” I told her. “Now, do you have any questions?” I asked because now’s the time to ask questions—hindi nung nagsasalita pa ako.

I saw how she had a million questions, but she could not voice any of them. She probably didn’t see this coming. She thought I was dead set on having her abort—or if I were being honest, she probably feared for her life, too. She knew that I could easily have her killed and she’s right. I just couldn’t—but she didn’t have to know that.

Why would I divulge my weakness? For all she knew, I had no soul and I could do anything without batting an eye.

“Fine, no questions,” I said when I was met with silence from her end. “But to clarify some things, no, I won’t actively hate the baby. I will try my best to be a good mother. That child will go to the best schools, have everything it could ever want. I can’t say the same for Archibald—I have no idea if he could be a good father. But from my end, I will not hate on that child. I will be… impartial.”

I probably would not love the kid because it will always remind me of my husband’s infidelity… but I will not hate it.

I’d be nice.

And distant.

But it will have everything it will ever need and want.

And that’s more than what most people want.

“Now, for your part,” I said because she really looked stupefied. “You’ll keep your mouth shut. No talking about this with anyone—do not even think about writing it in your diary,” I continued. “I know I’ll make you sign and NDA, but I promise you, that if you make so much as a squeak, I will send your kid to another country and make sure that you never see it again. I will be so distant with that child that it will start to wonder what was so wrong with him that his own mother didn’t love him.”

I looked straight into her eyes so that she’d know that although I could not kill a child, I was not above making a child feel worthless.

“Alam ba ’to ni Archie?”

I forced a smile on my face. “Stop calling him Archie. People might wonder,” I finally said. “You’re a human incubator at best. Act like it,” I continued. “No, he doesn’t know. I want to talk to you first before I discuss it with him.”

“Hindi siya papayag.”

“You think so?”

“Gusto mo na ibigay ko na lang iyong anak namin—”

“Rosie, you’re pregnant, he knows you’re pregnant, and yet, he still does not talk to you,” I said, cutting her off. “Surely, you can’t be that dumb to realize where you stand on his life.”

I hit a nerve again.

But this needed to be done.

She’s still living in that delusion that her and my husband can live their happily ever after. She needed to be pulled back to reality. She needed to be reminded that in the reality where she lives, she’s an orphan who stole someone’s husband. And she deserves every bit of what I was giving her and more.

“That’s my offer,” I said.

I let her sit in silence.

I ordered myself a cup of coffee para naman magkaroon ng maganda sa umaga ko. I quietly waited as she died slowly right in front of me. I wanted to feel bad for her, but I couldn’t. She brought this to herself. Why would I infantilize this adult who made an adult decision?

Be accountable like everybody else.

“Gusto ko munang makausap si Archie,” she said.

“Mr. Gallego,” I corrected her. “Stop living in delusion, Rosie. He does not love you—heck, he does not even respect you.”

Her face fell as I reached for my coffee and took a sip.

I must be sick in the head because I enjoyed kicking this woman while she’s down.

That’s what she deserved for thinking she could just get what’s mine.

“If you want to talk to him, contact him yourself. I will not act as a mediator between my husband and his mistress,” I told her. “But I need to know your decision now.”

Hindi siya nagsalita.

I waited until I finished my coffee.

At least there’s one good thing this morning.

“Ganon lang ’yon? Kukunin mo na lang iyong baby ko na parang laruan?”

“Yes.”

“Wala kang puso.”

“Nothing new. Heard that before.”

I stood up and got my bag. Tumingin ako sa kanya. “I have to go and do some fitting,” I said because I needed to get some moon bumps and some maternity clothes. “I’ll have someone contact you for the new NDA.”

Tumingin ako sa kanya.

“Now that everything’s clear, I hope to never see you again,” I said as I stood up because now, I have to discuss things with some people because it never hurts to have contingency.

“Sandali lang,” she said before I could open the door.

“What?”

“Isang bagay lang,” she said. I stood there and waited for whatever nonsense she wanted to say. “Gagawin ko lahat ng gusto mo… pero gusto kong kasama ko siya sa pagbubuntis ko.”

More nonsense from her.

Kumunot ang noo ko. “What?”

“Gusto ko siyang kasama sa mga checkup, sa baby class… sa pagbubuntis ko.”

“What part of ‘no one will know about this’ can’t you understand?” I asked.

She tilted her chin up. “Iyon lang ang gusto ko.”

I stared at her.

What game was she playing again?

“Fine,” I said because I got what I wanted and did not want to deal with her any longer. “Have it your way. But if you’re doing this because you think he’ll just fall for you while you two are hearing the heartbeat of your child, let me save you the trouble—he’ll never fall in love for someone he doesn’t even respect.”

I looked straight into her eyes so that she knew I meant every word.

“You are pathetic, Rosie.”

**

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Chapter 31

Chapter 31

After the meeting with Rosie, dumiretso ako kay Abuela. I just needed to tell her about what I’d do kahit alam ko na alam niya naman na.

But then my day had to be ruined.

“Abby,” I said when I saw her. She looked like she was about to leave.

“Nadia,” she replied curtly.

“Good to see you.”

“Likewise.”

We’d be the best of friends if only she didn’t decide that she also wanted that one thing that I’d wanted all my life.

She didn’t want the presidency—she only wanted Maven and her little family. Pissed me off that she’ll have Maven run for presidency regardless. No one would dare touch her and her family—everyone knows she’s deranged.

“Good luck on the election,” she said.

I forced myself to smile. “Thank you. Good luck to Maven, too.”

“Thank you,” she replied as she gave me a small nod and went about her way.

I still had six years to make a game plan about the presidency. Now, I had to focus on the senate.

“I’m taking the baby,” I said.

“I’ve heard,” Abuela replied.

“How? I literally just decided.”

“I predicted,” she replied.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Was I that predictable? That was disappointing.

“No one is expecting you to kill a baby,” Abuela said.

“If you were in my position?” I asked her.

She just gave me a passive look.

I knew it.

She would do it—she’s done worse.

“Do not compare,” Abuela said. “Ordering the killing of some man you do not have personal ties with is different from killing a child you have personal ties with. The former is easier.”

I know that.

It’s easy to order death—I’d seen her do that… not in so many words… sometimes, just by giving a look to her security… It’s eerie… and scary.

“It’s gonna ruin my chances,” I said.

“A baby is always a blessing.”

“Not when the baby’s a bastard,” I replied.

Abuela chuckled a little. “I won’t care about that baby, Nadia—that baby is not my grandchild.”

“I don’t expect you to,” I said. “I just…” Tumingin ako sa kanya. “I can’t do it. I can’t kill a child,” I admitted.

I thought I could.

I really thought I could, but as it turned out, I draw the line on innocent kids.

But Rosie? I had no doubt in my mind that I could do it.

“No one’s forcing you to,” she replied.

“I feel like this one’s gonna bite me in the ass someday,” I said.

“Maybe,” she said. “But you’re a problem solver—you’d always been.”

My lips parted.

Was she… complimenting me?

“This is nothing,” Abuela said. “You take that child. You project a happy family. If people knew about it, deny it. If they persist, act like the victim. Always be the blameless victim.”

Abuela looked at me.

“You made that man out of nothing,” she said. “If things get bad, you drop him.”

My lips parted.

“You choose yourself—always. You and your family. And that man is not your family.”

I felt like I was a child and she was holding my hand, guiding me on where I should go and what I needed to do. I had always hated being told what to do and not to do—but never with Abuela. I had always wanted to be her… and better. But she never really talked to me like this. I knew she favored Maven—she’s always been open about that.

But now?

I felt like she’s guiding me.

“You’re not disappointed in me?”

“With what?”

“That… I can’t even do this?”

“Easier said than done, hija,” Abuela said. “You’ll get there someday, but don’t hurry.”

“And Abby?”

“What about her?”

“She’ll use this against me,” I replied.

“She will,” Abuela replied. “You have six years to study her. You will learn a lot—both her strengths and weakness.”

“The only thing she has over me is money.”

“Stop complaining,” was all she said before I left because I felt like there was nothing left to say.

---

“Why are we here?” Archibald asked after he took his chair. I had my secretary send his secretary a calendar invite for tonight’s dinner. Magkasama kami buong araw dahil sa campaign, pero hindi rin kami nakapagusap. I mean, I knew that he wanted to talk to me, but he couldn’t bring himself to.

Shame is such a powerful thing.

And at least he’s self-aware.

“I’d like to discuss something,” I said.

“You want to talk?”

“Discuss.”

“Why here? Bakit hindi na lang sa bahay?”

“Because this is a business discussion,” I replied. “I figured the ambiance might help,” sabi ko sa kanya. I usually conduct my business appointments over dinner. It’s just easier to close deals when people are well-fed and a bit drunk—not that I’m planning to get Archibald drunk because god knows what happens when he gets drunk.

The waitress came in. She took our order. Even as I was saying my order, I could feel the tension coming from Archibald’s end. Ganyan talaga kapag guilty. Every little thing I did made him nervous.

When we were alone again, I brought my attention back to him. His eyes were on my face like he was memorizing every inch of it. He looked like he was longing for me, but I was not living in delusion like Rosie.

Archie might love me, sure… but he didn’t respect me.

He slept with someone else.

Sure, maybe someday, I’ll forgive him for that—but if there’s one thing I am sure of, it’s that I will never forget it. Every time I’d look at his face, I would remember how he was with someone else. How he was with her, even after I specifically asked him not to.

I would probably forgive him, but I’ll never respect him again.

To me, he’s just like the men who disappointed me as I grew up.

“Business discussion?” he asked.

I nodded. “I talked to Rosie—”

I could not miss even if I wanted to—how his eyes widened a little, how panic quickly showed on his face. Why was he panicking? Did he say something to her about me? I hated that he talked about me with her. She was no one and he dragged her in to our lives. I would never be able to forgive him for that.

“Don’t worry, I did not hurt your little mistress,” I told him.

“She is not my mistress,” he said.

“Your baby mama then.” His jaw clenched a little. Umayos ako ng upo. I did not want to participate in this pissing contest with him. “I talked to her yesterday,” I continued. “I told her that I’d allow her to give birth.”

His eyes widened.

“But,” I said before he got excited. “I will be taking that baby and raising it as our kid.”

Confusion was painted all over his face.

“I’ll be wearing a fake belly and I’ll be ‘giving birth’ at the same time,” I explained. Tahimik pa rin siya. He was probably digesting everything o baka mahina lang talaga siya. Either way, I needed to spell it out for him because I did not want to explain again. “In one of the campaigns, I will faint and then news outlets will report that we’re expecting our first child. Everyone will be happy for us. I expect that the survey numbers will go up,” I told him.

Based on survey, mas binoboto talaga kapag may pamilya na iyong tao. For some reason, the voting public just trusts people with family—which does not make sense. I’d rather vote for someone without family because that way, that person will devote his or her time to work. But whatever. As long as I can use it to my advantage.

“You will do that?” he asked.

“Why not?”

“Because not even a week ago, you wanted to—” he said and then stopped. He couldn’t even verbalize it.

“Kill the baby?” I asked him. “If I were being honest, that was my first option. But I decided that I can use it to my advantage.”

Hindi siya nagsalita.

Good.

This time, let me fully lead because clearly, if I let him lead, we’d end up in the ditch.

“People love babies. God, I hope the baby’s not ugly,” I said because Rosie’s objectively not that good looking. She’s fine, but nothing special. I still wonder what Archibald saw in her. At the very least, I hope the baby gets Archie’s DNA… face wise. But the intellect’s from the mother’s DNA. This baby isn’t even given a fighting chance with its parents’ DNA.

Such is life.

“I’ll be having interviews, doing PR. The usual drill. I’ll still join the campaign and people will be in awe of how devoted I am to you,” I said.

“Why… are you doing this?”

“Because you fucked up and once again, I am forced to clean after your mess,” I told him.

“I just asked you to not do… that,” he said. “I did not ask you to raise the baby, Nadia,” he continued. “You don’t have to put yourself through that.”

Tumingin ako sa kanya.

“Put myself through what?” I asked.

Hindi siya nagsalita.

“This is a political decision, Archibald,” I said and I saw the hurt and disapproval in his eyes when I said his name.

“Of course,” he replied.

“Of course it is,” I said.

“Paano kapag nalaman ng iba?” he asked. “You said it yourself—walang sikreto ang hindi nabubunyag.”

I calmed myself down.

How dare this disappointment of a man ask me this question after the fact that he was the one who dragged me in the middle of this?

“Then I’d have you convert religion and tell everyone who would listen that you made a mistake, but in the middle of the darkness, you found the Lord,” I told him.

His lips parted.

Why was he going against me? I was merely fixing his mess.

“Let me worry about that when it happens because obviously, I’m the brains in this operation,” I said.

His jaw clenched. “Pumayag ba siya?” he asked again.

“Yes,” I replied. “With a condition,” I continued. “She wanted you to go on doctor’s appointments with her. Probably go shopping for baby clothes, too.”

Kumunot ang noo niya. “What? And you agreed with that?”

“Yes,” I said. “But everything will be done in private.”

If she thought she could force my hand by being seen in public with Archibald while she’s pregnant, she’s sorely mistaken. I’d gladly push her in front of a moving train first before that could happen.

“Do I even have a say in this?” he asked.

“No,” I replied. “Because clearly, you think with the wrong head.”

**

This story is already at Chapter 36 patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can also join the patreon facebook group. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance :) Thank you!

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

I had made quite a spectacle, if I may say so myself.

In the middle of a busy campaign, I faked fainted. It was caught on camera. It was shown in the evening news. It was on the papers. It was trending on social media.

Everyone was asking.

Why?

What happened?

Was she okay?

Everything was planned, of course. Times like this, every little detail is crucial. Everything needed to be pre-approved, be controlled. I did as much as I could—although admittedly, I just could not throw money at everything like Abby does. I’ll forever hate that a little… but at least, this forced me to be creative.

As Abuela told me—I am a problem solver.

I mean… I kind of had to. I was surrounded by adults with questionable judgment. Even Addie had to mature faster because she was surrounded with adults who seemingly needed constant guidance—or judgment, take your pick.

“Smile,” I told Archibald while we were posing for pictures that will be posted on his social media account. This picture will be used in all the news outlets and all vloggers and bloggers we hired, so of course this had to look perfect.

Thankfully, he finally smiled.

The photographer made us do different poses, but I told him that I was going for more of a natural and candid approach. We’re more casual and laidback people—at least that’s the image I was projecting in public. They didn’t have to know how high-strung I really am.

“I need the photos tonight,” I told Cheryl. “Send me five to choose from,” I continued.

The election day’s really fast approaching. We needed to confirm the pregnancy as soon as possible to really milk this. Filipinos are big on family. I didn’t care if this baby will be the center of the campaign. As far as I care, it’s all about name retention. Kahit na baby ang pagusapan nila, as long as nababanggit ang pangalan ni Archibald Gallego, everything will be fine. Because most people don’t really give a thought on who they’re voting—they’re just shading whose name looks familiar to them. Kaya nga maraming nanalo na artista. Because it’s all about familiarity. Because why would they vote for some name they don’t know anything about?

After the shoot, we were on our way to the clinic to make one of Rosie’s dreams come through. We needed to do this today because we’re leaving for Mindanao tomorrow and we’ll be gone for four days to do some campaign. It’s gonna be pretty hectic, but it’s fine. My family’s friends with the mayors of most cities there. They’ll surely take care of me.

“Kailangan ba talaga na nandon ka?” Archibald asked. I thought he lost his tongue. He’s been awfully quiet for quite a while.

“Yes,” I replied.

He apparently lost his tongue again.

“The clinic is closed and what if someone sees you coming into the clinic alone? And what if someone also sees that girl?” tanong ko sa kanya. “We’re too far, too deep in this election, Gallego. Just do your part.”

Tumingin siya sa akin. “Do you think people will believe that we’re in a happy marriage if you keep on calling me Gallego?”

I looked at him with a serious expression. “I will never call you Gallego in public. I always keep appearances,” I told him. “I’d always done my part—it’s you who keep on slipping.”

He remained silent until we pulled over in the parking lot. I let the security check the area first. Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Archibald. The only thing that was saving us from the deafening silence was the sound of the engine.

“I don’t want you there,” he said.

“Too bad. Suck it up.”

“Nadia—”

I looked at him. “Just do it,” I said.

“I will,” he replied. “I just don’t want you there.”

“Why?” I asked. I asked as I looked right into his eyes. “Why don’t you want me there?” muling tanong ko. But my question was once again met with silence. “I promise I won’t make a comment,” I continued. It’s not like I cared if the baby lives or dies. I mean, it would work in our favor either way—mas pa nga siguro kung mamatay iyong bata. It would show how resilient Archibald was—being able to go on campaign even though he’s mourning for his loss.

And it wasn’t as if I was looking forward to meeting that child. Just because I didn’t want to kill it didn’t mean I was jumping for joy for its existence.

When the perimeters were checked, we got out of the car. I knew how Archibald was basically dragging his feet. Pagpasok namin ay sinabihan kami na nasa loob na si Rosie. I was just quietly walking pero bago pa man mabuksan ni Archibald iyong pinto ay muli siyang humarap sa akin.

“Can’t you just stay here?”

“No,” I said. “Why are you so adamant on me staying out? Are you planning on jumping her bones when you get in?”

He just looked at me.

Then silence followed.

I stared back.

“I’m going in,” I said.

I didn’t know why.

I could’ve just stayed outside and waited for them to finish whatever it was that they’d do inside. Truthfully, I wasn’t really invested in the health of the baby. I was certain that it wouldn’t be a life changing moment once I hear the heartbeat of the baby.

But it could be for him.

I just wanted to see that look on his face once he hears the heartbeat of the baby.

I just… wanted to see his reaction.

He looked at me and then looked at me one more time with resignation. I felt him taking in a deep breath as he opened the door. He stepped in. I quietly followed. I said no word to anyone, but I was watching.

“Pretend that I’m not here,” I told them dahil hindi sila makapagsalita dahil nakatingin sila sa akin.

I took the seat on the side and reached for a random magazine. I flipped through the pages, but even from where I was sitting, nakita ko kung paano lumipat iyong atensyon ni Rosie mula sa akin papunta kay Archibald.

“Archie…” narinig kong sabi niya.

She got no response from him.

How her poor heart must be breaking.

“Archie…” she repeated again.

“Pwede bang—” he said and then paused like he just realized how his tone was rising. He stopped and checked himself. Even from a distance, I knew that he was taking in a deep breath and calming himself down. I’d live with him for a long time. I knew him like I knew the back of my hands. “Doc, okay lang ba ’yung baby?” he asked the doctor instead.

Rosie lifted her shirt up, but her eyes were not leaving Archibald’s face like she was afraid that he’d vanish in a second. I saw how she tried to reach for his hand, but he automatically flinched. Napatingin siya sa akin. I arched my brow at him. What? Ngayon pa siya mahihiya? Pagkatapos niyang mabuntis iyong kabit niya?

“That’s the heartbeat of the baby,” sabi nung doctor.

Rosie looked at Archibald. “Narinig mo ’yon, Archie? Iyong tibok ng puso ng baby natin?” she asked, but she got no response. Even from where I was sitting, I knew that this was not a completely happy occasion for him. His back was too straight that he looked so tensed. Maybe I should have just left him. Maybe I was robbing him of the opportunity to be able to have a decent reaction to him hearing for the first time the heartbeat of his child.

Maybe.

A lot of maybes.

“Doc, pwede na po bang malaman kung ano iyong gender?” she asked.

“Of course,” the doctor obliged. “Oh, it’s a baby boy,” she continued.

Rosie was all smiles.

So different from her being all cries when she was with me.

“Narinig mo ’yon, Archie? May magtutuloy na sa apelido mo…”

I almost scoffed.

As if the last name Gallego meant anything if not for me.

“Okay naman lahat, doc?” Archibald asked the doctor instead.

“Yes, okay naman lahat. The baby looks healthy,” the doctor explained among other things. I didn’t really want to listen, but I still did para naman may masabi ako kapag may nagtanong. I was originally planning on just telling them that the baby’s fine.

“Thank you, doc,” Archibald said.

“Archie—”

“Ingatan mo ’yung baby,” he said and if there’s an expression that could perfectly convey what heartbreak looks like? It’s going to be that look on her face.

“…saka iyong sarili mo,” Archibald added like it was an afterthought.

The way she smiled when he told her to take care of herself? God, she’s pathetic.

Tumalikod si Archibald at humarap sa akin. “Let’s go home,” he said as he began to leave.

Tumingin ako kay Rosie.

I didn’t even need words—she knew what I felt about this sad, sad visit.

---

“Sana po healthy iyong baby.”

I smiled. “Maraming salamat,” I replied. I wasn’t showing yet, but I wasn’t wearing fitted clothes, too. Let the imagination of the public run wild.

“Sana po kamukha ni Ma’am.”

Archibald laughed. “Sana nga po,” he said.

“Iboboto ko po kayo.”

“Maraming salamat po. Aasahan po namin ’yan,” Archibald said as he gave them his best smile and shook their hands.

The ratings were very promising. There are twelve seats in the senate and we only needed one. I’d like it more if Archibald would get the top spot, but third’s good already. He’s a first time candidate for the senate. He just needed to perform very well kagaya nung ginawa niya sa pagiging mayor.

He just really needed to follow my lead—no more mistresses and surprise bastards.

“One more week,” I heard him mumble as we got in the waiting room. The past few days we were just going around the country. It was one city after city. It was exhausting, but what’s this exhausting in exchange of the next six years?

“Suck it up,” I told him.

Napatingin siya sa akin. “God, why are you so mean to me?”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Excuse me?”

“Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo. Bawal ba akong mapagod?”

My lips parted.

What was with him?

“I’m sorry. I just can’t—” he said and then paused. He ran his fingers through his hair. “This is hard, Nadia. I have to put a smile in front of everyone and pretend that everything’s fine but then every once in a while, you put me through this mind game of yours.”

“Mind game?”

“Iyong sa mga bisita sa clinic. Why the hell do you have to be there?”

“Why? Do you want to be left alone—”

“I don’t want to be left alone with her!” sabi niya na nagtaas ng boses. “But I also don’t want you there! Hell, I don’t even want to be there!”

“You did it yourself.”

“I know! And I’m sorry! I’m sorry I fucked up! But for you to be there while the doctor’s telling me about the baby? Do you know how that’s fucking with my head?”

Hindi ako nagsalita.

I remained silent.

I knew my silence unnerves him.

But it only unnerves him because he’s guilty.

“ You are fucking with my head.“

He looked so defeated.

“I’m just… I’m so tired,” he said, almost whispered.

“What do you want?” I, then, asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Then I can’t help you.”

“I’m just so exhausted.”

“Everyone’s exhausted.”

“Is it really worth it?” he asked.

“It is.”

“The Senate?”

“The Presidency, Gallego,” I reminded him. “Everything that we’re doing leads to the Presidency.”

Bahagya siyang natawa. “How about Maven?” he asked.

I just stared at him. “Let me worry about that.”

“Because what if—”

“There’s no what if,” I said, cutting him off immediately. How dare he question me? I picked him when no one knew about his existence and now he’s the third in the surveys for the senatorial race. A bit ungrateful, this one.

Tumayo ako. I was tired, too, but I knew he couldn’t properly rest when I was around. He’s always tensed when I was around.

“I’m not ‘torturing’ you because I find it fun,” I told him. “You’re gonna be the President. So, if you’re tired, go take a nap. We still have some more campaigning to do.”

There’s no other end game for me but the presidency—no ifs, no buts, no maybes, no family. 

**

This story is already at Chapter 37 patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can also join the patreon facebook group. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance :) Thank you!

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

“Big day for you, huh?”

“What?” I asked, my forehead creased in confusion. The past few days—weeks, even—had been very tiring. Sometimes, I was just running on four hours of sleep—five, if I get lucky. But I had no complaints.

In the end, it’s all going to be worth it.

“New role,” Aspen said. “Mom and wife of a senator.”

“Right,” I replied.

90% of the total number of ballots had been counted. He’s number 2. Safe to say, Archibald’s already a shoo in. I could finally breathe.

Natawa siya. “You don’t look too pleased.”

“I am,” I said. “It just doesn’t reflect on my face.”

Mas lalo siyang natawa. Thankfully, he decided to talk to his wife and leave me alone. I like Aspen, but I was just in no mood to talk to anyone at the moment.

I stood up and decided to just go inside the house. We were at Abuela’s house to celebrate. Maven won. Of course. Didn’t doubt that for a moment. But I didn’t want to dwell on it, really. The presidential election’s gonna be six years from now. I could relax… at least for a moment.

I won the battle, but I needed to win the war.

“Congratulations,” I said when I saw Abby.

“Thank you,” she replied.

We both know that it’s us who won—Maven and Archibald were just pawns.

Napatingin siya sa tiyan ko.

“When is the due?” she asked. I knew that she’s just asking because she’s trying to make small talk. I knew because if the situation was in reverse, that’s what I would have done, too.

“Not sure,” I replied. I was told, but it’s been very busy. I’d check again. I just really needed a few days off. I needed to recalibrate before I go back to my normal schedule.

Abby just nodded. We’re just all here gathered because Abuela’s not getting any younger. No one likes to talk about it. We just… glide around the subject. I mean, she’s evil, but she’s still mortal. This was one of the things money can’t buy, sadly.

“I have a question,” I asked. She just gave me a shrug. “If you were in my position, what would you have done?”

“Not gonna happen to me,” Abby replied.

Bahagya akong natawa. “That confident, huh?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Good to hear.”

“Can I ask a question?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you do it?”

“That’s not who I am.”

“What’s the difference?” she asked.

“You won’t understand,” I replied.

“Because of the plane thing?”

“Yes, because of the plane thing.”

We don’t really call it for what it was—multiple murder. And that really pisses Addie off because for her, calling it the ‘plane thing’ minimizes its effect.

“Then how can you beat Maven in the Presidency?” Abby asked.

I forced a smile on my face.

She was just looking at me—no expression on her face.

“Let me worry about that,” I replied.

“You can just run after Maven,” she said. “I’ll even donate to your campaign.”

My smile was still on my face. I couldn’t tell her what I really wanted to tell her. I choose my fights and this wasn’t it—at least not now.

“I think someone’s looking for me,” I said although we both knew that I just reached the end of my patience for her. Bumalik ako sa labas. I sat beside Addie because I knew that Abby would never go near her—at least as much as she could possibly help it. Abby’s all things but she cares about Maven and she knew that Maven hates it when he gets brought in the Abby and his mother or Abby and his sister. Basically, Maven just really needed to get it through his skull that none of his family really likes Abby—we just really tolerate her a lot because we’re scared of her.

“Your sister-in-law’s really something,” I said to Addie.

“Tell me about it,” she replied in agreement. “Where’s the new senator?” she asked.

“He said that he’s extremely tired from the campaign, but I think he just really doesn’t wanna go here.”

“Can’t blame him,” Addie said. “Isn’t it weird?”

“What?”

“That,” Addie replied, pertaining to the moon bump that I was wearing. It was quite a huge moon bump, if I may say so myself. But I just really want to get in the part. I wanted everyone to know that I was pregnant. I mean, if I were to use this pregnancy, might as well milk it until the very end. People were speculating if we’re having twins. I say let the people speculate.

“Not really,” I replied. “But I’m starting to get used to holding on to it,” I added. I really wanted to show that maternal instinct. Our advisors told us that the pregnancy announcement really helped boost Archibald’s image. There’s just really something about a good father of a family that makes a man look like he’s going to be a good leader.

Let the public believe what they want to believe.

“What about Rosie?”

I frowned. “Don’t say her name.”

Natawa siya. “Pregnancy hormones? Sensitive ka ngayon?”

“Plane thing,” I said with a blank stare and that made her frown.

“Fine,” she said. “How’s the baby mama?”

“Delusional,” I replied.

“She with Gallego?”

“No,” I said. I knew that there’s no way that Archibald would go see her without me. That guy’s too burned out from everything—the last thing he’d want was for me to discover that he’s doing things behind my back. Again.

“Very certain,” she commented.

“Yes,” I replied. “Because if he does that to me again, I might seriously just resort to murder.”

Tumawa siya.

She probably thought that I didn’t mean it.

Maybe.

Abuela said some speech about family and power and I really wanted to listen and to relish this moment of winning, but I was just so exhausted that I could not enjoy anything.

Paguwi ko sa bahay, agad kong naabutan si Archibald. He was still there where I left him—he didn’t even seem like he moved at all. He was just sleeping on the couch. There was a late news program on the background. Nakatulugan niya siguro.

I decided to be quiet. He deserved the sleep. It’s been quite hectic for him. He did the physical campaign and he still attended some debates on live TV. In preparation for that, he had to review a lot of materials and he had to practice with some of the debaters we hired for this.

I saw him putting effort.

I’d say that I appreciated that, but he signed up for it. I was just thankful na hindi na siya masyadong nagrereklamo.

---

“Is that what you’re wearing?” I asked when he came out of the room. We had decided before that he’d officially move to the guest room—which I guessed was now his room. It’s just better this way. We could live together in peace if we can go to sleep in peace. And that’s just a bit hard to achieve kapag magkatabi kami sa kama tuwing gabi.

“Yes,” he replied. “Do you want me to change?” he sincerely asked.

Archibald’s been nice.

Awfully nice.

Like the fight in him died.

Seemed like I finally kicked him until he’s down on the ground.

I stared at him and what he was wearing. He was wearing a pair of black slacks and light blue polo. He looked very presentable.

“Barong,” I replied. “Embrace the Filipino pride.”

“Kahit ano don?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” he said and then without any more word, went back inside his room. There’s no fun to even think about trying to pick a fight with him.

“Okay na ba ’to?” he asked. He’s now wearing a barong Tagalog.

I nodded. “Yes.”

Archibald poured himself a coffee. He was quiet just like the other mornings before.

“When’s the due date?” I asked.

Hindi agad siya sumagot.

“I’m not trying to pick a fight,” I said.

“I don’t want to discuss this with you,” he replied in a calm voice… almost like he was begging me that he really did not want to do this.

“I was just asking,” I said. “I don’t want to wear a bump in public anymore.”

Hindi pa rin siya nagsalita.

“Also, I’ll have Cheryl schedule showing. We need a bigger house,” I told him. Our place right now was perfect. A kid could live perfectly fine here, but personally, I needed a bigger place—iyong tipo na kaya kong tumagal ng ilang araw na hindi ko nakikita o naririnig iyong bata. I should’ve looked for a new place before, but things got on the way—and also, I was kind of hoping that maybe the universe would want to give me a break and just take the baby away naturally.

Just because I couldn’t do it myself doesn’t mean that I wasn’t wishing that it’ll be gone on its own.

“Okay,” he replied. “Ikaw na magdesisyon.”

“Okay,” I said with my forehead in creased.

He sat there and quietly finished his coffee. When he was done, he put it in the dishwasher. And then he looked at me.

“Should I wait for you o sasama ka sa akin sa trabaho?” he asked.

I really wanted to go with him.

That was the plan.

I wanted to relish the victory.

“I’ll stay here.”

“Okay.”

“Are you okay?” I asked him. I couldn’t stop myself.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Lots of okay thrown in a hot minute.

“I’ll just introduce myself to everyone. No important decision will be made without your permission,” he said.

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Okay,” I replied.

Muli siyang tumango. “Great.”

Archibald grabbed his bag.

He started to walk.

“Gallego,” I called. He stopped on his track. “Are we okay?”

Because we didn’t work out as… husband and wife.

But we’re working out as business partners.

He nodded. “Yeah, of course. Bakit mo natanong?”

Umiling ako. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” he replied. Tumingin siya sa akin. “Nadia,” he called my name. “Can I ask for a favor?” he asked.

“Depends,” I said.

“Can you… can you be nice to the baby?” he asked. “I’ll do what you want—I’ll work hard as a senator. I promise I’ll do my best to do anything you’ll ask of me. Just… don’t take your hatred out on the baby,” sabi niya habang pahina nang pahina iyong boses niya. Like he’s afraid I was going to torment his spawn.

“I’ll do my part as long as you do yours,” I simply said.

“Thank you.”

It’s no fun conversing with him when he’s like this. I realized I liked him more when he’s putting up a fight. I always dreamed of Archibald just following my lead without any questions asked. He’s doing it now. I found it yawn inducing. Ganito ba sina Abby at Maven? Because I was sure as hell that Maven would follow Abby to the depths of hell. Didn’t Abby find that boring?

---

“Nasan si Archie?”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

“Can’t you put her to sleep?” I asked the nurse but she just shook her head.

We’re in the delivery room. It was not her schedule to give birth, but of course, Rosie, the ever inconvenience of my life, decided to give birth right around the busiest time of my life.

“Nasaan si Archie?” she repeated again.

“Conference,” I replied.

“Bakit ikaw ang—” she said and then paused because of contraction. I just watched as her face contorted in pain. She could literally be dying of thirst and I’d use the water to water the plants.

“You’re not supposed to give birth now,” I told her. “If you wanted him here, you should’ve stuck to the plan. You know he’s busy with work.”

The nurses were looking at me with disapproval. I ignored them. As long as the NDA is signed, I could not care less about their opinion. Besides, I just needed to care for their opinion four years from now—kapag malapit na ulit ang election. For now, I’d be a little bit more of myself in public.

“Mukha bang gusto ko ’to?!”

My plan was to just sit on the side and let them do their own thing. I wanted to take a nap, but how could I with Rosie shouting like she’s breaking in half? But on the brighter side, hindi ko na ulit kailangang magsuot ng bump. I missed being able to wear my clothes.

I tried to tune the noise out. Archibald should’ve been here. He’s already on his way back, but with the way Rosie’s shouting, I doubted kung maaabutan pa ni Archibald. Sana maabutan niya. I was the one who told him to go attend the conference. I didn’t want him to think na sinadya ko para hindi siya makapunta rito.

“Nadia…”

Napatingin ako nang may tumawag sa pangalan ko. My forehead creased when I realized who called my name. I didn’t say a word, but I just arched my brow at her.

“Pwede… pwede mo bang hawakan ’yung kamay ko?” she asked. Her voice sounded scared. She looked scared—reminded me of the very first time that I saw her. Who would’ve known? Definitely not me. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that that little orphan girl from before would be the one who would destroy my marriage.

“Natatakot ako…”

She was all alone.

No family.

No ‘Archie.’

Once again, she was at my mercy.

“I don’t care,” I told her. And maybe that was evil of me… but if it was, then why did the universe decide to grant my wish? 

**

This story is already at Chapter 39 patreon.com/beeyotch. Subscription starts at 100php per month for all stories. You can also join the patreon facebook group. You can email beeyotchpatreon@gmail.com for assistance :) Thank you!

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

“You can’t even let her soul rest in peace,” Addie commented.

My team was searching Rosie’s house. I mean, the bitch’s dead, but I knew that even in the afterlife, I knew that I could never trust her. So, I had to have her place checked for any surprises. Mas madali sana kung ipasunog ko na lang ’tong bahay niya, but I thought that that would be unfair for her neighbors. Hindi naman nila kasalanan siya ang naging kapitbahay nila.

“You know that girl hated me,” I simply replied.

“I mean, can you blame her?”

“Are you being serious?”

Natawa si Addie. “No, no, I mean, I understand you, but I also understand why she’s not your biggest fan.”

I rolled my eyes. “Never thought you empathizing with a whore would be in my bingo card for this year.”

“I’m not empathizing with her,” she said. “It’s just that… she’s dead.”

“So? She’s with her family now.”

She looked at me like she was disappointed. What? I never pretended that I was nice—it’s just that I wasn’t a cold blooded murderer. But still, I wasn’t nice—not even in the slightest.

“But she just… died.”

“I don’t see the relevance of this discussion, Addie,” I told her. “I was in the room when she died. I saw the doctors try to revive her. She’s dead. I sure as hell did not touch her.”

She nodded, but I could see that she still had questions in her mind. Whatever they were, she decided not to ask me anymore.

“How’s the move?” she asked instead.

I merely shrugged.

We moved a couple of days ago. It was a huge house—just like how I wanted it. I wanted to occupy the master’s, but I also wanted to be as far as I could be from the nursery. Nandon ako sa kabilang dulo ng bahay. Kung mayroon nga lang na guest house ay baka nandon na ako nakatira.

“May pangalan na ba ’yung baby?”

“Yes.”

“Ano?”

“Why are you suddenly curious?” I asked because the last time I checked, none of my relatives were really excited for this baby. I mean, with my other cousins, it wasn’t this bad since they’re still relatives by blood. But this baby’s just a complete stranger. They all knew that this baby’s the product of my husband’s philandering ways. This baby will never be welcomed in the family. He’ll feel it when he’s old enough to understand. And he’s got no one to blame but his philandering father.

“Okay,” she said. “The last time I asked, you said na kung pwedeng baby boy na lang ang ipangalan.”

I shrugged again. I just really could not care less for this baby. I would not go out of my way to be a horrible mother to him, but also, I would not be… his mother. At best, we’ll be housemates.

Besides, he’s got his father and an army of nannies. He’ll be just fine.

After a while, I was told that the place was clear. Good. Now, I can go home in peace knowing that my problem’s been solved.

Addie and I had dinner first at her house since I couldn’t be seen in public so soon after giving birth. Also, I didn’t want to go home now at the risk of hearing the baby cry. I mean, I try to pretend he’s not home, but I wasn’t deaf. Of course I’d hear him cry.

Then it was time for me to go home. This place was a bit farther than our previous place. It’s nice, but I really preferred living in the city. I just wanted to live in a penthouse for as long as I could possibly be. I never was the suburban mom living in a white picket fence house type—that would be my own personal nightmare. It’d be like I was just waiting for my inevitable death.

“Good evening po, Ma’am.”

“Good evening,” I greeted.

“Kasama po ni Sir si Atti.”

Look at that baby already having a nickname.

“Okay,” I simply replied.

The house staff didn’t know about the whole Rosie situation. As far as they’re concerned, I just easily bounced back from giving birth and that I am just a really absent mother.

Also, NDA.

How would I ever live without that?

I headed straight to my room. I took a long shower. I wanted to just go out in my bathrobe and to open a wine, but I can’t now that I had other people living with me. I had two nannies for the baby. I mean, we’re already living with strangers, so might as well add someone who’ll cook food for us.

God, I hated this already.

Instead of just going out in my robe, I was dressed in my pajamas. I couldn’t even wear my nighties. It was like I was back to living with my parents.

I was already on my second glass of wine nang mapatingin ako sa pinanggagalingan ng tunog. I saw Archibald emerging from the hallway. He looked like he hasn’t slept in days.

“You look like shit,” I commented.

“Newborn,” he replied. “But don’t worry—I’m still on top of all the senate work,” he quickly added like he thought I was making a comment on his productivity.

“Right,” I said, giving him a small nod. “Can I just say one thing?”

Tumingin siya sa akin. “Yeah?”

“I didn’t ask you to attend the conference on purpose,” I told him. “Had I known—”

“It’s fine,” he said, cutting me off. “No one could’ve seen it coming.”

“Right.”

“This is better for everyone else.”

Napakunot ang noo ko. “What is better?”

“Her… gone,” he said.

My lips parted in surprise.

Did I just hear him right?

Did he just say that it was better this way? With the mother of his kid gone? What the hell was happening?

“Good night, Nadia,” he said before walking away, leaving me with my confused thoughts.

---

I wanted to ask Archibald what he meant with that statement, but I didn’t. I thought about all the possible answers he could give me and none of those sounded good to me.

Instead, I decided to focus on other things that did matter.

Today was my ‘first’ day at work. Of course I had to pretend that I was in some maternity leave, so I had to stay away from the public. But I did my assignment. I researched about the things that I wanted to do now that we’re in office.

I was wearing white straight neck side pleated dress that just fell right above my knees. I was tired of wearing the same colored shirts for the past months because of the election. Also, white’s the perfect choice to subtly tell people that election’s over. Fight’s over. But of course the fight’s never over.

On my way downstairs ay nadaanan ko iyong nursery. The door was not completely closed, so I was able to take a peek inside.

“Daddy’s just going to work,” I heard Archibald talk to the baby. “I will see you again later, okay? Be a good boy, Atticus,” he added.

I rolled my eyes.

He looked ridiculous.

It was as if he felt my negative aura that was why he looked at my direction. Mabilis siyang tumayo at lumapit sa akin. He was wearing slacks and light blue long sleeves. His hair was also freshly cut. Nagpagupit pala siya. I really didn’t know what was happening to him. We live separate lives now. We were just together all the time before because of the election… and because before, we were still trying to play house.

Now, the charade’s over.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Good morning,” I replied.

“Nabasa mo ’yung sinend ko sa ’yo kagabi?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yes. I also made notes.”

“Okay,” he replied while we were walking. “I’ll introduce you to the team. There’s a session later if you want to attend.”

“Of course I want to attend.”

Bahagyang napaawang iyong labi niya. “Okay…” he said. Then he paused on his tracks. Napatigil din ako. Napatingin ako sa kanya. “Nadia,” he called my name.

“What?”

“I’m… I’m actually contented with my life now,” he said.

“Congratulations?” I told him, a bit confused because what did he want to hear from me?

“Thank you,” he replied like he was a bit weirded out, too. “I’ll do what you want,” he said. “I’ll go to work; I’ll attend all the sessions, the meetings; I’ll vote yes to all the agenda you want to push.”

“And what do you want?” I asked.

“What?”

“What do you want in return?” I replied. “Because there’s always a but in that kind of sentence, Archibald.”

He’s been in position for a long time now—he already knows the game.

“Nothing,” he said. “I won’t even ask you to pretend to be a mother—”

“Good, because that’s ridiculous.”

Natigilan siya.

He forced a smile.

“I just want you to be civil to Atticus.”

“When was I mean to that child?”

“And call him by his name.”

“Does he even know that his name’s Atticus?”

Hindi nagsalita si Archibald.

I rolled my eyes. “Fine,” I replied.

“Thank you,” he said. “And your family—”

I quickly shook my head and stopped him because he’s just wasting his breath. “My family will never love that kid, Archibald,” I told him. “I’m afraid that that ship has never even sailed,” I continued before I continued to walk to the car.

The ride to the senate was quiet. Archibald was just reading one of the bills that would be the topic of today’s session. He looked… different.

Was it because we’re older now?

Or because he’s just given up?

Either way, he’s right—this was better for everyone involved.

“You have a session, right?” I said.

“Yes, pero ipapakilala muna kita—” he said.

“No, I can manage,” I replied. “Being late is not a good look.”

“Karamihan naman sa kanila late.”

“So? I don’t care about them—I care about how you’re perceived,” I replied. “I’ll see you later.”

Tumango na lang siya. No more fights. I was starting to like this dynamic. Dapat pala ay matagal na kaming naghiwalay ng kwarto. I can tolerate him more in daytime when I don’t fall asleep planning his murder in my mind.

I headed straight to his office. I already knew everyone. I had them all investigated. I just did not want another Rosie. I did not want that kind of stress during the campaign for the presidency. I was pretty sure that Abby would be my main source of stress that time, so any additional stressor was definitely not welcomed.

I knocked on the door.

“Good morning, Mrs. Gallego!”

I gave them a smile. “Call me Nadia, please,” I told them.

I’d be working with these people for the next foreseeable future, so I just wanted to have a good working environment. This was not like when Archibald was still a mayor because that’s an executive position. This was the legislative. We needed collaboration. Besides, the people in this room was handpicked by me. They’re from the best schools in the Philippines.

“Okay po, Nadia,” the girl, Tanya, replied. “Also, congrats po sa baby,” she continued to which I just gave her a small smile.

I was told that the other members of the team were with Archibald. He does his homework, but sometimes, may mga pinaguusapan during session na hindi niya pa alam masyado. I do not expect him to know everything under the sun. Kaya nga may research team para d’yan.

Everyone’s seated and they were all looking at me.

“Good morning,” I began. “I’m Nadia de Marco,” I continued, correcting the woman who called me Mrs. Nadia Gallego. I never took on his name. Why would I? Hindi pa naman ako nababaliw. “I’ll be closely working with you for the bills that Senator Gallego will be proposing.”

The whole morning was spent with me telling them the scope of work that I would be expecting. I was strict, but that’s only because I knew what I wanted. And from here on after, there’s no room for mistake.

Then come lunch time, dumating si Archibald. He was greeted by the staff. It seemed that he was well-liked… I hoped not too much, though.

“Thank you, Sir!”

Archibald just smiled. He ordered food for the whole staff.

“Di ka ba kakain?” he asked me.

“How was the session?” I asked while I was mixing the salad that he ordered me. He knew I didn’t like eating heavy while on work. I just needed enough for me not to faint.

“Okay naman,” he replied. “Deliberating on the divorce bill.”

“Oh. How was it?”

“Mukhang maraming magaabstain.”

“Of course,” I said. “You’ll vote yes.”

Tumango siya. “Yes,” he replied. “Also, for the record, I will really vote yes.”

“Good,” I said. “I’ll send you the talking points. I’ll setup an interview.”

“Okay,” he replied. “But will that be beneficial? I mean, divorce is still a very divisive topic.”

“Yes, but you’re a neophyte senator,” I told him. “You need to show them that you’re not gonna be a token senator.”

Tumango siya. “Okay,” he said. “Nasa calendar na ’yung bill about transgenders. What, then?”

“I’ll ask for the updated survey about that,” I told him.

Of course if it’s up to me, I’d just approve that bill. Just let people do what they want as long as your personal life’s not affected. But that’s my personal stance. This was politics. I will never let my personal opinion affect my politics.

“Anything else?” I asked him.

Umiling siya. “Nothing,” he said. “Just have Cheryl update my calendar.” It seemed like he really did mean it when he said that he’s ‘contented’ with his life.

“Okay,” sabi ko sa kanya.

Maybe this was how Abby feels like—with Maven just doing anything she wants. 

**

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Chapter 35

Chapter 35

“You can go,” I told Tanya. She looked at me hesitantly. I motioned for her to leave. She gave me an awkward smile before she finally left the office.

I was always the last one in the office. I just wanted to make sure that everything’s in order. Besides, it wasn’t as if I was excited to go home. Pagdating ko sa bahay, as much as I wanted to pretend that the baby didn’t exist, I could just feel him… existing.

So, the next best thing was for me to stay in the office. I was well-aware that there were gossip about me and Archibald being on the verge of separation since I was always at the office. But whatever gossip was quashed because as soon as daytime hit, Archibald and I were back to our usual grind—pretending to be a happy, little family.

At around 11PM, I finally decided to call it a day. I was very productive today. I finally decided on which agendas to push in the senate. It wasn’t a mere decision of yes or no—for every vote, there’s a ripple effect. Also, it’s politics. It’s never just about the common good. There’s always an angle there somewhere.

“Did you put a tracker on me?” I asked when I saw Jack approaching me. He was wearing his usual grin.

Humalakhak siya. “If only I could, but your security’s hard to bypass.” Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanya. “I was kidding,” he said. “Knowing where you are 24/7 is boring.”

I didn’t even invite him, but he took the empty seat next to me. I was in some bar. I just wanted a nightcap. Wala namang umaabala sa akin sa bahay, pero hindi ako makapagpahinga nang maayos doon. I always needed a drink or two—sometimes none, but that’s when I was extremely tired.

“Have you seen the surveys?” he asked.

“Of course,” I replied.

“Nice work.”

“Thank you,” I said.

I was quite proud of my work. Archibald’s performing very well. His trust rating is very high. He votes yes to the agendas I told him to vote yes to. He follows the talking points I give him when there’s an ‘ambush’ interview. He’s basically doing everything I asked of him—granted that I leave him and his little spawn alone.

“Nice touch on the family picture.”

“Are you just here to admire me?” I asked and he laughed again. I might have to start charging him because it seemed like he’s making me his own personal entertainment.

“Sure…” he replied. “But also, I’m very curious about something.”

“Can’t you just google it?”

“Why don’t you just run yourself?” bigla niyang tanong.

“What?”

He turned from his seat so he was facing me. His right arm resting on the bar and his fist against his cheek. “I mean… you’re doing everything. He’s literally just a mouthpiece.”

I pressed my lips. “That’s the question that’s been bogging your little mind?”

Muli siyang humalakhak. I was starting to think that he might have a kink—he liked it a little too much whenever I’d insult him.

“Yes,” he replied. “So, satiate my curiosity, Nadia de Marco.”

I rolled my eyes. He ordered me another drink. Good.

“Don’t you think I didn’t consider that?”

“Did you?”

“Yes.”

“And why did you decide against it?” he asked.

I took a sip of my drink. Of course I’ve thought about that. Growing up, I’d always wondered why it was Abuelo who was the president and not Abuela. We all knew that it was Abuela who made the final decision. Abuelo’s just… he’s just there.

I asked Abuela about it when I was 7 years old—she told me that I was still too young to understand. She said that I’d understand when I was older.

I asked again when I was 10 years old—still too young.

I began to understand when I was in high school.

I had always liked telling people what to do, so I planned on running for the presidency. I mean, I’d always admired my Abuela. I just wanted to know how being the president felt like. So, I told my teacher that I’d be running. She looked at me like I was speaking in gibberish.

I didn’t remember the exact words she said… but I remembered the feeling.

I remembered how she talked to me like I was less than my male classmates.

I remembered being told that I could not run for presidency.

All because I’m a woman.

Since then, I began to notice the little transgressions.

The casual misogyny here and there.

On my 16th birthday, Abuela asked me why I hadn’t asked again.

I looked at her.

And she gave me a small pat on the shoulder.

“The real power stays in the shadow,” I told Jack what my Abuela told me.

“Or is it just because you’re scared?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Scared of what?”

“Failure,” he said. “Are you scared that if you run, people won’t vote for you?” he continued. “Is the Nadia de Marco scared?”

I stared at him. This was the reason why I never really considered him. He’s got wings of his own—I wanted someone whose wings I could easily clip.

“I’m not scared,” I told him. “I am calculated.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“So, why not run if you’re so calculated?”

“Because I’ll just be wasting my breath,” I told him.

“Really?” he asked, sounding like he wasn’t ready to give up this conversation. “Because for as long as I’d known you, you’d always get what you want. I’m just having a hard time understanding why can’t you run yourself? You basically did it all for him anyway.”

I arched my brow at him. “You sound jealous of him.”

Jack didn’t break the gaze. “Don’t flirt with me, Nadia—I might just fall in love.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Philippines does not want a female president.”

“It’s the 21st century.”

“Doesn’t matter,” I said. “Look at the Philippine history—the only two female president became female president because of extraordinary circumstances.”

One had to have a whole revolution.

The other one was a mastermind—arguably the most cunning president ever.

“That’s it?” he asked. “You are Nadia de Marco. It’s not like you’re just some random person who decided to run. You have the political history.”

“Clinton,” I told him.

“What?”

“Hilary basically lost to a lunatic,” I said. Imagine being so hated that people will literally vote for a lunatic instead of you.

“You oversimplify it,” he replied. “She lost because of Benghazi.”

“It’s politics, Jack,” I told him. “Decisions are made every single day, yet you don’t see people crucifying the males who made the same or worse decisions.”

He remained silent.

“The world hates females,” I said. “I’ve accepted it. I have no interest in changing the system. I’m working around it.”

Kumunot ang noo niya. “That’s it?”

“That’s it,” I told him. “I’m sorry to disappoint you—I have no desire to change the world. The system benefits me perfectly fine. Let the future generation of women fight to change the system, but it’s not going to be me.”

He continued to stare at me.

I began to ignore him and focus my attention on my drink.

“You fascinate and frighten me, de Marco,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” I replied before I left him to settle the bill.

Dumiretso na ako sa bahay. Pagdating ko roon, nadaanan ko iyong nursery. The door was slightly open again—why was this door never fully closed?

“What?” I asked nang magtagpo iyong tingin namin ni Archibald. He was carrying the baby. It was almost 1AM. Ang tagal pala naming nagusap ni Jack.

“Ngayon ka lang natapos?” he asked in a low tone.

“Yes,” I replied. I didn’t bother to tell him about Jack. That’s none of his business.

“Oh,” he said. “Nabasa ko na ’yung notes mo sa divorce. May dinadagdag lang ako. Sinend ko sa email mo.”

“Okay.

“Pasabi na lang kung pwede kong iadd sa agenda bukas.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.”

I stayed there for an uncomfortable amount of time—at least for me, because I was almost running away from the baby—that Archibald had to ask me kung may kailangan ba ako sa kanya.

“Nothing,” I said.

“Work and Atticus,” he told me.

“What?”

“I just go to work and then go home to see Atticus,” sabi niya sa akin. “Wala akong ibang ginagawa.”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Okay.”

“I know I fucked up—”

“I don’t want to discuss this again, Archibald,” I told him.

And then I stood there.

Looking at him while he was holding the baby.

This could’ve been different.

He could’ve been holding our baby.

This could’ve been our family.

He really did fuck up.

“Good night,” I told him before he could say anything that we already knew.

“Nadia,” he called bago ako makalayo.

I stopped on my tracks.

“Can’t I really do anything for you to forgive me?” he asked.

I looked at him.

And I shook my head.

“I told you that you can have anyone but her… and then you had to have her,” I said, staring straight into his eyes. “And I will never forgive you for that, Gallego.”

I began to walk away.

And then turn to look at him again.

“The presidency,” I told him. “Give me the presidency and I’ll forgive you.”

He looked me in the eye and something told me that he would give me exactly what I asked for.  

**

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Chapter 36

Chapter 36

“What?” I asked, my forehead creased when I Cheryl asked me the question. It was still early in the morning. I hadn’t even finished my first cup of coffee yet.

“There are rumors,” she said.

“About me running for presidency?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yes,” she replied. “They’re asking for comments.”

I simply rolled my eyes. Jack. I was pretty sure that he’s the source of this so-called rumor. He really won’t let this rest.

“Just say that I fully intend to support my husband’s political career,” I told Cheryl. The Philippines love this ‘supportive wife’ act. I play it very well. When we’re in the public eye, my eyes were almost always on Archibald. I always clap in admiration and fawn in adoration.

I was the perfect wife for him.

Pero bigla akong napahinto.

“What… what’s the reception?” I asked, letting the curiosity get the better of me.

“Mostly negative,” Cheryl replied. “But that’s because Senator’s performing very well. The opinion of the majority is that you two are a good team,” she continued. I knew she was just paraphrasing to protect my ‘feelings.’

It was nothing new. I wasn’t surprised that men didn’t want a female leader—that would give them aneurysm. And the women in this country have gotten used to being beneath men that the idea of a woman leading is just… unheard of.

“He’s performing better than expected,” Cheryl added. “He’s currently the favorite among the younger people. If this trend continues, he’ll be a shoo in for the presidential election.”

Nothing surprising.

I understood the younger generation. I knew exactly what agendas to push to get their sympathy. And even when I knew that Archibald had to vote no to some bills, I had him do interviews to quickly control the backlash.

It’s all about preparation and soothing the people’s ego.

“Maven?” I asked.

“Congressman de Marco’s getting a lot of negative press from the church and other religious sect,” she said.

“About the SOGIE?” I asked and she nodded.

Right… I forgot how righteous that cousin of mine is. He’s voting yes to all progressive bills—if not being the principal author of them. The last I heard was that he’s already working with a committee to push the agenda on legalizing abortion. It’d be interesting when it gets to voting—I knew Archibald would want to vote yes… but he’s one of those people who only gives a shit when it personally affects them. He doesn’t care about abortion—but he surely do care when it’s his baby you’re about to abort.

“There are also comparison between Senator and Congressman,” she said.

Kumunot ang noo ko. “About what exactly?”

“The votes,” Cheryl said. “Majority of the comments are about your family, Ma’am,” she continued. “That you have a good family—that’s why the senator knows how to protect the sanctity of family and marriage.”

I pursed my lips.

“Interesting…” I said. “And what about Maven?”

“Some people still bring up the plane incident,” she replied. “Sinasabi nila na nahawa na raw si Congressman sa asawa niya—kaya ganon ang boto niya sa mga bills ngayon sa kongreso.”

These people could be farther from the truth—Maven has always been the progressive type. Abby or not, that man will vote yes to legalizing abortion, divorce, and SOGIE equality.

It’s really interesting to see the effects of optics.

“Alright, thank you,” I said. “Just give me a monthly data on the surveys.”

“Senator Gallego?”

“And also Congressman de Marco.”

---

“Any question?” I asked him.

Archibald and I, we have our own mini session once a week. We discuss the issues that needed to be addressed. Although majority of the decision came from my end, I still give him the illusion of control. I mean, not totally an illusion. Minsan, may magandang ideya din naman siya. And if the idea’s good, I was not that big of a snob not to utilize it.

“Baptismal,” he said.

Kumunot ang noo ko. “What?”

“Binyag ni Atticus.”

I pursed my lips. “Right,” I replied. “What about it?”

There was hurt in Archibald’s face. I knew he was hurt on behalf of his son. I was not even doing anything—I literally avoid that child like a plague. I just use the guise of ‘privacy’ kapag hinahanap siya sa publiko. But I still release picture every now and then. I mean, the public loves that baby—he is a cute baby. Mabuti na lang at hindi nagmana sa nanay.

“Hindi ba siya bibinyagan?”

I shrugged. “Maybe,” I said. “Do you want to raise that baby as an atheist?”

I really don’t make any decision for that baby. That’s the unspoken deal between Archibald and me. Wala akong gagawin sa baby na ’yan basta susundin niya lahat ng gusto kong mangyari politics-wise. And it’s been working perfectly. I didn’t why he’s suddenly bringin up that baby’s baptismal like it’s my business.

“Catholic,” he replied.

“Fine by me,” I said.

“Aattend ka naman ng binyag, ’di ba?” he asked, looking straight into my eyes that I knew that he was expecting a serious answer from my end.

“Of course,” I told him. “People will ask question if I’m not there.”

I ignored the disappointment on his face.

“Sino’ng magiging ninong at ninang?” he asked.

I shrugged. “You decide.”

He paused.

“Aattend ba ang pamilya mo?” he asked.

I looked at him. “Yes,” I said. “But that’s only because if there’s one thing my family knows—it’s how to keep appearance. However, don’t, for one second, think that that baby will feel welcomed. Ever.”

This needed to be said.

I didn’t want him to think that maybe they will warm up to that baby because I’m telling him now that that will never happen. My family doesn’t welcome strangers… unless of course you come with a lot of family. Then, we’re talking business.

But other than that, have fun looking in from the outside.

Marahan siyang tumango. “Okay…”

I sighed. “Don’t think I’m being mean—I just don’t want to lie to you.”

He remained silent.

“I’ll have Cheryl assist you, if you need someone to help you plan,” I said. “I’ll also need new family photos—plus a photo of that baby with Abuela and also Maven and Abby.”

Too bad Abuelo’s already gone. I could’ve milked that photo for as long as possibly could. Abuela’s also not getting any younger. I needed to get as many photos with her as possible. I knew she’d agree. It’s not like I was just forcing that child on her out of pure love.

“Okay. That’s all.”

Iniwan ko na si Archibald doon. I knew his schedule already—he’d go to the nursery and play with the baby. I would go to my office and do some more work. I didn’t want any idle time. I tried to do some day trading but that was making me lose my mind. I heard from Jack that merger and acquisition is a good business, so I was studying it. I mean, you’ll never really know.

The next few months were the usual grind. We just go to the senate—I head straight to the office while Archibald headed to the senate hall.

I also worked so that he’d be a part of the committee that tackles with the most controversial issues. He’s more well-known that ever. He’s well-liked in both the young and conservative demographics. The only remaining target are the masses—but I had a timeline for that. I’d work on that two years before the presidential election. Those people have short term memory. Ang maaalala lang nila ay iyong recently na tumulong sa kanila. So, I would not waste funds right now. Wala ring kwenta.

Plus, those people do not have long-term vision—they appreciate short-term reprieve and best believe I’d be abusing that to my advantage.

“What’s the name of the kid again?” Aspen asked.

“Atticus,” I told him.

“Do I have to hold him?”

“Yes,” I replied. “You’ll all be taking pictures with him,” I said. Tumingin ako kay Maven. “Especially you.”

Kumunot ang noo niya. “Why especially me?”

I shrugged. “Because I said so.”

He just looked at me funnily but didn’t say a word. He probably thought that arguing with me was just a waste of energy and he’s right.

I wasn’t too worried about Archibald because I knew that the GDL side of my family would still be talking to him. The de Marco? Not a chance. And even if they do talk to him, I was sure that he’d feel the indifference. I mean, they barely tolerated him before. But now that they all knew about what he did? No chance that he’d ever feel welcomed in the family.

And whose fault was that?

We all went to the church. We were all wearing white. I sent the invites. It was specified that they should wear white. They all knew that I would send them away if they do not follow the dress code.

“I baptize you, Atticus Gerald Gallego, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,” the priest said as the baby was slowly immersed in water. Si Archibald ang may hawak. Akala ba niya lulunurin ko iyong bata?

There was a photo-taking session shortly after. My family performed as expected. I also took photos with the godparents—mga pinsan ni Archibald na wala naman akong pakielam. If this was my kid, Addie would most definitely be the godmother. The godfather would be Saint—I’d want that Suarez money for my kid if I ever die.

“Good thing the baby looks like Gallego,” Aspen said. “But what if the baby grows up and he looks like the mom?”

I shrugged. “By that time, I would’ve sent him to a boarding school abroad already.”

“Harsh.”

“Boarding schools are nice,” I replied. You’d literally make connection with powerful people from all over the world. How’s that harsh? Kung sa nanay niya siya lalaki, he’d probably end up in juvie.

We all went to a restaurant for the reception. Normally, we’d go to Abuela’s house but I didn’t even bother. This baby was a stranger.

There were no more camera dahil tapos na kami sa pagkuha ng litrato. The place was closed down for us. The divide was very obvious. My family stayed on one-side and Archibald’s family on the other. His family knew about what he did and they’re embarrassed. His father personally apologized to me for what his son did. The GDL was in the middle, as expected.

I just wanted to eat and then end this nightmare of a situation. The food was taking longer to be served kaya naman lumabas muna ako. I was just standing on one side, my back resting against the wall.

“They’re still inside,” I said when I saw Abby approaching. She’s late. What’s new?

“I know,” she replied. “Why are you oustide?”

I shrugged. “Too crowded.”

Bahagya siyang tumango. She was about to walk inside nang tawagin ko iyong pangalan niya. She stopped on her tracks and looked at me. Looking at her, you’d never know the things she’s capable of.

“Have you never thought about just… running yourself?”

“No.”

“Never?” I asked. “Take away all the negative publicity surrounding you.”

“Still no,” she replied.

“Why?”

“Because I have my own life.”

My lips parted.

“I have my own business to run,” she said. “Maven has his… thing,” she continued like being the congressman was just a hobby. “I support him so that he’s busy. He pretends that I just run some non-illegal company. We have a system.”

She looked at me.

“Do not compare us, Nadia. We’re different.”

“Excuse me?”

“Aren’t we?” she asked.

I remained silent.

I knew that this was about that baby again.

“Maven loves me—he will do anything I ask of him because he loves me. If

Archibald wins… don’t you think he will just leave you? After everything you did to him?“ she asked. “If he’s already the president, what will you be there for?”

I looked at her.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because we’re family,” she told me with a small smile. “And because I never saw you as a competition.”

**

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Chapter 37

Chapter 37

“I’ll change my surname.”

Archibald looked at me, confused.

“And I scheduled a session for us.”

It was before 7AM.

I wasn’t able to sleep the whole night. My mind kept on repeating what Abby told me—that she never really saw me as a competition. What a bitch.

She might be Maven’s leash holder, but she’ll never be family. She might consider us as family, but we will never see her as family. We’re just collectively frightened because she’s insane.

“What?” Archibald asked while he was sitting down on his bed. Nagiwas ako ng tingin. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. I wanted to ask him where he gets the time to work out? I barely had time for yoga.

“Take a shower first,” I told him. “We’ll have breakfast in the garden.”

I left Archibald confused. Pumunta ako sa kusina. I told the chef to prepare breakfast for us, but I told her that I’ll be the one making the coffee. I knew how to make Archibald’s coffee. For years, I was the one who did that.

Everything was perfect between us. I mean, it wasn’t the fairytale kind of life, but it was perfect for us. He was happy. I was on the right track. Everything was well.

Until it wasn’t.

But now, my mind’s all cleared up.

I knew what I wanted.

And what I had to do to get what I wanted.

“Hindi ka papasok?” Archibald asked because I was not dressed for work. I was wearing one of my casual dress. If we were alone in this house, I’d be wearing my nightgown. It’s a beautiful day.

Umiling ako. “No,” I replied as he took his seat. “I was thinking that I’ll be spending today with Atticus,” I said. “Don’t worry—I will not do anything to harm him,” I quickly added before his mind went there. Not that I couldn’t blame him. I wasn’t nice to the kid. Oftentimes, I still refer to him as it. Hard habit to break.

“Is this for PR?” he asked.

“No.”

“Then why?”

“Why not?” I asked back. “He’s my son.”

Hindi siya nagsalita.

“My name’s on his birth certificate, Archibald,” I told him.

“Not my son,” he said. “I told you—I will do anything you want.”

Bahagya akong natawa. “Why are you acting like I will sell your child for pennies?”

“Because I know you will if you have to.”

Umirap ako sa kanya. “You’re being overdramatic,” I told him. “I just want to ‘bond’ with the baby. His nanny will stay with us. He’ll be fine.”

“Saan kayo pupunta?”

I shrugged. “I scheduled a playdate with the other kids,” I said. He remained silent. “My cousins won’t be mean to a literal child, Archibald. Calm down.”

“Masisisi mo ba ako?”

“No.”

“Why are you doing this, Nadia? Why now?”

I left his question hanging. I grabbed my cup and sipped my coffee. Tumingin ako sa kanya. I thought about it. Abby’s right. The reason why she’s able to do everything that she wanted to do was because Maven would let her and he’d do anything to support her.

Archibald and I are not like that.

We had the chance to be like that, but that ship has long sailed.

I just have to do what I have to do now because Abuela’s right—I had always been a problem solver.

“I’m tired of this,” I told him as I stared right into his eyes. “I’m tired of ignoring you at home and then acting like a happy wife when we’re outside.”

He didn’t look like he believed me. I mean, he’s been living with me for a long time now. He knew that I wouldn’t just magically decide to flip the switch. He knew that there’s an angle somewhere that I was playing.

“Don’t you want what I want?” I asked him. “Don’t you want to be like how we used to be?”

There was a fight in his eyes.

But it was a losing fight.

We both knew it—that despite everything that had happened, despite everything that he did, in his cruel and fucked up ways, he did love me.

“Okay,” he said in resignation.

“Okay what?”

“Okay, we’ll try again.”

I gave him a small nod. “That’s all I’m asking.”

And in the silence, we finished our cups of coffee.

---

I wanted to bring Atticus to a class kung saan pwede siyang makipaglaro sa ibang bata. I did ask my cousins kung sino sa kanila ang pwede sa playdate ngayon, but they weren’t all too enthusiastic about it. I digressed. Umuwi na lang kami. I was told that if I wanted to attend a class, I needed to participate, as well, since it’s a mommy-baby kind of class.

I wasn’t prepared for that—nor into that. What’s important was that I did spend time with the child.

“Look at your father,” I said, talking to the child who was sitting beside me.

We were watching news while he’s making strange noises. Archibald’s being interviewed. It’s about a criminal case involving a member of the US army. Of course the US wants to get jurisdiction over their citizen. But it would look terribly bad for the Philippines to just give way. It was a very interesting case. I stayed up all night reading about all related materials and gave Archibald his notes. He did tell me that he’s a lawyer and he’s familiar with the law. I told him that sometimes, I forget that he’s a lawyer.

“Pretty smart, huh?” I said to the baby.

Atticus and I watched the news until it was time for his afternoon nap. I left him with his nanny and went to my room to sleep. Who knew that spending time with a baby could be so tiring?

“How was today?” Archibald asked.

I asked the chef to prepare a dinner for us. He made Archibald’s favorite dinner and I opened my favorite bottle of wine.

I shrugged. “Fine.”

“Saan kayo pumunta?”

“You know where we went,” I said. Natahimik siya. “Don’t worry—I take no offense,” I told him.

He may be the Senator, but I’m the boss of everyone who’s working for him. I knew he asked them to inform him of our whereabouts. Not that I couldn’t blame him, but I already gave him my word that I would do no harm to the child. Did he really think na bigla ko na lang ihuhulog sa building iyong anak niya? That would be quite the disaster… but then again, I can always use the excuse of postpartum depression.

Sometimes, it’s nice being a woman.

“Akala ko pupunta kayo sa pinsan mo?” he asked to fill the silence.

“Baby steps,” I replied, not wanting to elaborate because I knew that it would hurt his little feelings to know how unwanted his child was by my family.

He gave me a small nod. “Kailan iyong schedule nung session? Bukas ba?”

“No,” I replied. “You can’t skip any session.”

“Wala namang important agenda bukas.”

“Doesn’t matter. You need to get that ‘complete attendance.’”

“Really?”

“Really,” I said. “People will applaud. The bar is literally on the floor.”

Especially to those who don’t really care? All they’d hear is that Archibald attends all session. For them, he’s doing more than bare minimum. He’d be on their ‘to vote again’ list. Voters are simple.

So the next few days, it was just the normal routine. I was in the middle of finishing a bill. I wanted this to be close to perfection that the other members of the congress can do no amendment to it. Minsan kasi ay babaguhin nila to the point na nasa kanila na ang credit. I didn’t want any of their names as co-authors.

“Good morning,” bati sa amin ng therapist.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that she’s a good therapist, but she managed to convince Tito Maverick not to leave Beatrice. I mean, that’s something.

“Good morning,” I said, giving her a small nod.

She began asking us the surface level question and I gave her honest answer—honest to an extent. Archibald looked visibly uncomfortable. Maybe because we both knew that all these questions were just ramping up to the main topic.

“Why do you feel like you had to do that?” she asked Archibald.

I watched as he reached for the glass of water.

Tahimik kaming naghintay.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“You don’t know why you did that or you do know, but you don’t want to share the reason yet?” she continued to ask. I told her to just ask him question. This was a special session, after all.

I watched as he grew more and more uncomfortable.

“Why did you do that?” I asked him.

Napatingin siya sa akin. “I told you—I didn’t plan on it.”

“Even before that,” I said. “I saw how she looked at you. You’re not blind. You saw that, too. Yet you gave her the chance to get close.”

I watched as the guilt swallowed him alive.

Good.

Guilt is good.

“I was drunk—”

“Enough with the lies,” I said. “I heard about your college and law school years. You even participated in drinking contests. You cannot be that drunk.”

I knew he was lying then. I just didn’t care enough to confront him about it. And it didn’t matter—drunk or not, he slept with someone else. What? Just because he’s drunk, he’s excused?

“I don’t—”

“Enough with the lies,” I repeated. “Just be honest.”

“Because she made me feel like a man, okay?!” mabilis na sabi niya. He said it too quickly that even he was surprised with the honesty. I saw the look on his face. I saw how surprised he, himself, was.

“See? Honesty is easy,” I said to his silence.

The therapist tried to end the session, but why end now? Why end now that I’ve finally pried him open? After all the lies and excuses he told himself? Now that all his insecurities finally out in the open?

“Can we not—”

Umiling ako. “Do you still feel that way?” I asked him.

“Do you seriously have to ask me that?”

“Yes.”

“I’m your fucking puppet, Nadia. I do as you say. I don’t have a mind of my own. So, you answer your question.”

“Because you can’t decide.”

“I fucked up one time.”

“You fucked up big time.”

“One night.”

“One night is enough.”

“I never loved her.”

“You touched her.”

“Why do you care? You don’t even love me.”

“You don’t know how I feel.”

“Because you never tell me how you feel!”

“How can I? The one time I was honest, you accused me that I killed your child!”

I could hear my heart beating.

I could feel my heart racing.

“I can’t be honest with you because you can’t handle my feelings, Gallego,” I told him as I stared right into his eyes. “I can’t entrust you with my feelings. You never showed me that I can trust you.”

“Nadia—”

I shook my head. “You know about my family. You know about my father. You know about my issue with infidelity. I know I told you that you can, but you told me you love me. How can you cheat on me when you told me you love me? How can you cheat on me with that one person I told you not to cheat on me with?”

I had to say it.

I had to be vulnerable in front of him.

“So, do tell me. How is it my fault? How is it my fault that you’re not a man?”

My chest was tightening as I said the words.

I felt tears forming in my eyes.

I watched him as he watched a tear fall.

“I’m sorry, Nadia… I’m sorry…” he kept on repeating and I knew there and then, like Maven is to Abby, I got him completely wrapped up around my fingers. 

**

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Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Love in itself is powerful but to add guilt in the equation? Guilt that I made sure to remind him every day? Every time he’d see me try to get close to the product of his affair? And every time he’d see me fail because whenever I’d look at Atticus, all I remembered was his mother?

Gallego’s mine.

“You’re playing a game,” Jack said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied. “Also, why aren’t you married?”

“Oh, wow.”

“What?”

“First time you asked me about my personal life,” he said.

Umirap ako. “Why not? It’s been a while.”

I was in the bar, trying to decompress. It’s been a long day, a long month, a long year. A lot has happened yet a lot still has to happen. Year after year, Archibald’s name was on the news for all the great things he’s done in the senate. But when he’s outside senate, I made sure that he’s seen with me in public. Everyone in the know knew that we’re doing an early campaign—kasi sino ba naman ang magpapaka-pagod na maglibot sa Pilipinas dahil lang sa wala?

“Just haven’t met anyone worth giving up my freedom for,” he replied, shrugging.

“What? You’ll marry for love?”

“That’s the dream,” he said. “What about you, Mrs. Nadia Gallego?” he called. It’s been years since I changed my name. It still felt weird hearing that.

I finished my glass of whiskey. “What about me?”

“Why did you change your name?” he asked.

“Why not?”

“You love your name.”

“It’s still Nadia.”

“Who is Nadia if not a de Marco?”

I gave him the kind of smile that I give the people I meet. It was warm, but not real.

“I will always be a de Marco,” I replied before I left him because I needed to go home.

Atticus was waiting for me even when it was past his bedtime. Archibald has always been a doting father, but I felt like because I’d always been a bit distant, Atticus wanted my attention more.

“Mama!” he said upon seeing me.

“Why are you still awake?” I asked him.

Kaya nga ako dumiretso muna sa bar. I had a long day at work. I had no energy to play pretend with him.

“I was waiting for you…” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

The smile on his face fell. I heard footsteps approaching. I knelt down so I was eye to eye with Atticus.

“Go to sleep,” I told him. “We’ll play tomorrow.”

Just another promise that I’ll forget to fulfill.

Nang makatakbo si Atticus papunta sa kwarto niya, tumayo ako para humarap kay Archibald. We’d come a long way from where we began. Ever since that session, he’d been nothing but the perfect candidate. He always did his best at the senate and when he’s being interviewed, he’d always mention my name and tell the people that it’s a teamwork between us.

Sometimes… sometimes I wondered…

“Were you waiting for me?” I asked.

He nodded. “Nagdinner ka na ba?”

Umiling ako. “But I’m not hungry,” I told him. “Have you had your dinner?” I asked him.

Umiling siya.

Ever since that night, Archibald would wait for me to have dinner. I never asked why. In my mind, it was his… his way of proving to me that he never goes elsewhere. That at the end of a long day at work, he goes home to me.

Sometimes, I don’t go home when I wanted to escape.

I wondered if he doesn’t eat dinner when I don’t go home.

I never asked—it’s something I want to always wonder about.

“I have a question,” he said.

I told the chef to make him dinner. We were waiting for his food to be served. The least I could do was to wait with him.

“What?”

“Next year na ’yung election.”

“What about it?”

Probably it was Abuela’s dying wish, but Senator Velasquez and Mr. Sy agreed to support Gallego’s bid for presidency. I already talked to them a year ago. They’re the yes that I needed. The others would be a nice addition, but I didn’t really need them.

I also visited all the provinces and cities and reminded that mayors and governors who helped them when they needed help. It’s never free help. Payback time’s coming soon.

I’d also already finished the lineup that I wanted. Maven, the ever idealist, wanted a certain ‘qualification’ for all his senatorial candidates. And Abby’s all too in love to even question the methods to his insanity.

Me, on the other hand, didn’t need that.

I needed name recall—to hell with their qualifications.

They can win first, study how to be a senator later.

“Nakausap ko si Maven.”

“What nonsense did he say again?”

In the years that he was in Congress, he passed one bill—and that one bill was barely recognizable because it’s been amendment beyond recognition. I mean, he proposes bill that he knew would have a hard time being passed. He’s too idealistic for his own damn good. But I knew there and then that my dear cousin would run for the presidency.

He and I both knew that that’s where the power is at.

“He asked me if I’ll run for presidency.”

“You said yes,” I said because it’s no secret.

Tumango siya. “He said he wants a clean campaign.”

Natawa ako. These two idiots. Did they think that they’re the ones pulling the strings?

“What do you mean with ‘clean’ campaign?” I asked, wanting clarifications.

Tumingin siya sa akin nang seryoso. “Please don’t involve Atti,” he said.

“I can’t,” I told him. “We need to campaign as a family.”

“But Abby—”

“Abby knows the rules,” I said, cutting him off.

“Rules?”

“That if he involves Atticus, I will involve Jeremiah and little Juliette.”

I love my nephew and niece, don’t get me wrong, but if Abby involves Atticus, I think it’s fair that I involve her children as well. After all, isn’t her motto an eye for an eye or something?

“Are you insane?” he asked, his eyes wide in surprise.

“A bit,” I replied. “Any more concern?”

“Do you seriously think that Abby will care?”

“Yes,” I said, “Because as deranged as she may be, she draws the line with her kids.”

Jeremiah’s too sensitive for this world—much like his dad.

Little Juliette… she’s too young but what choice do I have? If push comes to shove?

“Are you planning to—”

Mabilis akong umiling. “Of course not,” I told him. “I don’t murder kids.”

He looked like he’s still unconvinced. I understood. When he was in the senate, I knew that he read the transcript of the senate hearing. It was televised, but much was still left from the public eye. So, I knew that his fear was warranted.

“Any more question?” he asked.

Umiling siya.

“Any secret you wanna share?”

Nagiwas siya ng tingin.

He looked all too relieved when the food finally arrived.

---

It was the anniversary of Abuela’s death.

Perhaps the universe was playing a joke on her when all of a sudden, she died due to a heart attack. She was playing scrabble when she died. The press was told that she died peacefully in her sleep.

“Abby,” I greeted.

“Nadia,” she greeted back.

We were both in black. She’s a little bit insane for wearing a short black veil over her head.

“Still running for the presidency?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“All because Maven can’t pass a bill?” I said, my tone dripping in sarcasm.

She gave me a tightlipped smile. “Anything my husband wants,” she replied. She faced me. “I don’t understand, Nadia.”

God, why do I despise her so much?

“We were almost friends,” she said.

“We were never friends,” I replied with a smile.

“You were so nice to me before,” she said. “Remember? When Gwen got drunk and you all brought me with you to the rest house? You were nice to me then.”

I stared at her. “Was I?”

“You were.”

“You’ve mistaken my indifference with kindness.”

Abuela was right.

I had six years to study Abby and what I learned is that with her, family always comes first. Probably because she grew up in a fucked up system that she’ll do anything to hold on to a semblance of normal family. She’d have a way better shot at a normal family had she fallen in love with a GDL or literally anyone but a de Marco.

“I’d always wanted the presidency,” I told her.

“I understand,” she replied. “That’s why I said that if you just wait for a year, I will fully finance your campaign.”

“I don’t need your money.”

“I have a lot,” she said. “And you’re family. I don’t mind helping.”

“That’s probably what Lorenzo felt when you murdered him.”

The ‘innocent’ smile on her face fell.

This was the real her.

The evil her.

The one who would shoot down a plane to get what she wanted.

“Do you enjoy where you are now, Nadia?” she asked in a tone that I’d never hear her use.

“What?”

“Do you enjoy being second-best because that’s all you’ll ever be as long as I’m breathing,” she said.

She took a step closer.

She stared right into my eyes.

“Don’t test my patience,” she said before turning around and walking towards her family. I watched as she played the loving wife and the doting mother to her children.

I smiled to myself while no one’s watching. I grabbed a candle and placed it in front of the tomb. Abuela’s been right all along. 

**

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Chapter 39

Chapter 39

I was standing in front of my board and staring at it. I stayed up all night to finish this one—I’d been up for a few days, if I were being honest. I knew that Archibald wanted to call me obsessive, but I didn’t care. I had wanted this for as long as I can remember. I couldn’t even remember a time when I didn’t want the presidency.

It’s like this… forbidden candy.

The more that people tell me I couldn’t have it, the more that I wanted it.

Before, it was just the people around me.

Now, it’s even Abby—a sadistic parasite who forced her way into my family.

It’s not just a dream anymore—now, it’s personal.

“What?” I replied when I heard the opening of the door.

“Breakfast,” he said. Napatingin siya sa board. “Di ka pa natutulog?”

I shook my head. “I’ll take a nap after breakfast,” I told him.

“Okay… pero aalis din tayo mamayang 10AM.”

“I know.”

“You can skip.”

“No,” I told him. “No skipping of meetings; no lagging behind,” I continued.

“I know but—”

“No buts,” I reminded him. He was the one who promised me that he would do anything I wanted. I’d been good on my end. I’d been nice to Atticus—much to my detriment because that kid loves me for some reason.

“Okay,” he said, conceding. He stared at the board. “You really planned all of this.”

“Yes. All you have to do is follow.”

Archibald looked at me. “I will,” he replied. “Can I say something?”

“Sure.”

“Do you have a solid plan? Because Maven is still Maven.”

“And I am Nadia,” I said.

“Abby is crazy.”

“She is,” I replied.

“She managed to get Maven in the congress despite all the issues in the past.”

“And I managed to get you in the Senate despite your father and your last name being associated to kidnapping, raping, and murdering a girl,” I said, which obviously hit a nerve with him.

“It’s not the same,” he replied.

“Yes, it’s not the same,” I told him. “Abby’s the cousin of a drug lord. Some lives were ruined because drugs are ‘bad.’ Big deal. But you on the other hand? Your father kidnapped, raped, and murdered a girl and all the gory details were paraded in the news and in the paper. Trust me—your reputation was way worse.”

I struck some more nerve and it wasn’t even 7AM. Because why would he ask me something like that and risk ruining his day? Archibald’s his own worst enemy.

“The Filipinos don’t want a smartass like Maven,” I told him. “The only ones who will vote for him are the progressive ones and they are outnumbered. Heavily,” I continued.

I already laid the ground work. While he was busy playing with his kid, I was busy securing the cooperation of the mayors of various cities. I mean, sure Abby might have the money and her little threats to throw but I’d been in this game longer. I had a whole fucking mansion worth of blackmail material enough to make those mayor shake in their boots.

I walked towards him and patted the imaginary dust on his shoulders. “So just do as I say and we’ll have a President Gallego,” I told him before I went outside to have some much needed breakfast.

---

“Peace be with you,” I said to Abby.

It was the last Sunday before the official start of the campaign. We’re all in the Church and hearing the Sunday mass. Part of the optics. I knew people were confused as to why we’re both running for the Presidency and why can’t the other one just give way. I just smile and say that my husband only wants what’s the best for the country and may the best candidate win. Of course, I couldn’t say that I would first slit my throat before rolling over and let Abby win.

Humility has always been a good look on me.

Plus, people love a good drama—and what better drama than one family fighting over the highest position in the country?

“Peace be with you, too,” she replied.

I saw Addie shaking her head while rolling her eyes.

“I’m surprised you haven’t bought the election yet,” I whispered.

“I am, too,” she replied.

“Sucks to have a husband with morals,” I said.

“A little,” she replied with that closed lipped smile of hers. “Can’t say the same for you.”

I knew Archibald heard that. I saw how he became visibly uncomfortable, but he said nothing. I also saw how Maven tuned us out. I grew up with him. I knew the look on his face when he’s purposely ignoring everyone.

The mass ended but I didn’t feel at peace. I couldn’t wait for this election to end so that I could go back to pretending that Abby didn’t exist in my world. I mean, it was relatively easy. I only saw her during brunch. And Abuela’s gone. I still wasn’t sure if that tradition would continue. But if it would, certainly not in the next few months as it’s going to be hectic.

“Nadia.”

I stopped on my heels when I heard Maven calling my name. Everyone was busy pretending to care about other people’s business. I mean, perhaps they really do care. But it’s only to know that they’re doing better than you. If I were asked where I could find the best actors, at least in the Philippines, I’d say in the church—most religious people I know are hypocrites. Their motto is ‘do as I say, not as I do.’

“Yes?” I replied.

Years passed and Maven still has that boyish looks that made all the teenagers back then lose their minds. He still has that look, but the decisions he made the last few years didn’t work in his favor. His extremely progressive views turned away all the conservatives in this country.

“Let’s have a clean election,” he said.

Kumunot ang noo ko. “It’s not like I can afford to buy the election,” I told him. I asked. It’s pretty expensive. To do that, I would have to sell a literal island. I don’t have control over that… yet.

“You know I won’t do that.”

“I know,” I replied. “Still confuses me.”

If I had the money his wife has, I would most certainly buy this election. I would rig all the smart cards and just relax my way to Malacañang.

The end justifies the means—I’d always loved that quote.

“We all just want the best for the country,” he said.

I looked at him. “I want what’s best for me,” I replied. “You want to alleviate your conscience because you married a mass murderer. Not quite the same, Maven.”

There was no change in the expression on his face. Not surprising. He’s probably used to hearing this. He’s heard that quite a lot—mostly from his sister, really. I wouldn’t be surprised if Addie’s dying words would be something about Abby.

Maybe that’s why we’re so close. We share the mutual hate. I mean, nothing bonds two person more than hating the same person.

“I’m not conceding, Maven.”

“I’m not asking you to,” he replied.

“Good.”

“We’re family,” he said. “No mudslinging.”

“I won’t if you won’t.”

“I won’t.”

“Tell your wife that.”

“Abby won’t,” he said.

“Great.”

“Kids are off limits.”

“Just send me a list,” I said, dripping in sarcasm.

“It’s just an election, Nadia—at the end of the day, we’ll still attend the same brunch.”

I shrugged. “I never really liked the brunch.”

“Me, too,” he replied. “The bread was always dry.”

This weirdo.

He points out the most random thing.

“May the best candidate win,” he said.

“May the best politician win,” I replied.

He remained looking at me.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Fine.”

“Nothing about Abuela’s life ever seemed appealing to me,” he said. “I will never understand why you’re so hell-bent on becoming like her.”

What a hypocrite.

It wasn’t as if the problems he created weren’t cleaned by Abuela.

Instead, I said goodbye to everyone who mattered before going back to the car. Atticus was sleeping. Archibald was sitting with his head resting on the window.

Pagpasok ko sa sasakyan, napatingin siya sa akin.

“No campaign today?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No,” I replied. “Today’s Sunday. Family day.”

His forehead creased. “Family day?”

“For you,” I said. “You spend your time however you like,” I continued. We went to the church. Photos were taken. He’s done his part for today.

“Saan ka pupunta?” he asked.

“Meeting,” I replied. It was painfully obvious that he wanted to ask more details, but he knew he didn’t have the right to. I’m the brains of this operation. He’s the face.

“Spend Sundays with your son,” I told him as I looked at the sleeping kid.

He still remained silent.

After years of being married, he’s finally mastering the art of silence. Knowing the right time to be silent could be very beneficial. You don’t always have to talk to get your point across.

“It’s gonna be a long campaign,” I said. “I’ll need your 100% from Mondays to Saturdays. But I know you need your son, so I will give you Sundays.”

He stared at me still.

“Thank you,” he said.

“For what?”

“Keeping your end of the deal,” he said. “For leaving him out of it.”

“I’m not a monster,” I replied. “I draw the line at kids.”

The ride home was quiet. I watched as he carried sleeping Atticus back into the house. I, on the other hand, went to meet with Senator Velasquez.

“The numbers look promising,” he said.

“They do, don’t they?” I replied.

I was nowhere near delusional. I knew that this wouldn’t be easy, but it wouldn’t be entirely impossible as well. The only reason why I knew I could win this election was because of how progressive Maven is. Even for Abby, the woman he’s crazy about, he stood by his beliefs. Abby had to be the crazy one.

That’s when I knew that I stood a chance.

Because Maven plays fair—I do not and never will.

“Majority of Mindanao is secured,” I said. “Visayas is still up in the air.”

“Cebu is yours,” Senator said.

“You talked to Mayor?”

He nodded. “She’ll take care of you,” he said. “But it’s hush-hush at the moment.”

“That’s fine,” I said. It’s politics, anyways. People will do what’s best for them. There are no ‘friends’ in politics—only enemies and people who owe you. “I’ll have Gallego focus on Iloilo.”

“How about Luzon?” he asked.

“Not very worried,” I replied. “The kids are noisy, but that’s just that—noise. Gallego appeals to the key demographics as planned. And as long as he sticks to the answer on the debate, I believe we have this election in the basket.”

Senator Velasquez stared at me. “A lot of things are at stake, Nadia.”

“I do understand,” I replied.

I knew that he loved the gravy train that Abby provides, but like everyone else who’s on a tight leash, I knew that he wanted to get away from her. It’s not fun to have someone breathing on your neck every time.

“We got this,” I said.

“Abby is always one step ahead.”

“Oh, I know,” I replied. I spent the past years studying her. I knew she thinks she’s better than me. That’s fine for now. It’s better if she thinks I’m not worthy of a competition.

“Just trust me,” I told him once again. “By the end of this campaign period, we’ll have a President Gallego in the palace.”  

**

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Chapter 40

Chapter 40

I was having a briefing with the team. Archibald’s number was great—I was more concerned with Maven’s number. He’s not performing well because as expected, he’s been very vocal about his plans for the country. I didn’t even have to do that much—his promises alone were enough to drive most mayors and congressmen away. I mean, I couldn’t exactly blame them. Maven’s been promising a transparency bill. Of course the corrupt politicians would get scared. They have a lot to hide. At this point, I didn’t even have to do anything because those people would ensure that Maven would not win.

“So, why are you so bothered?” Aspen asked.

I looked at him, my forehead creased. It was Sunday. We’re having brunch. We’ve decided that we should continue the tradition. It’s just brunch, anyway. But still, it didn’t feel the same without Abuela. May her soul have little respite from the burning pits of hell.

“Because,” I said.

“Because what?”

“This isn’t supposed to be too easy.”

Aspen shrugged. “Maybe you’re just used to always fighting to get what you want,” he said. “This is how winning feels, Nadia. Take it all in.”

Perhaps.

Perhaps I was just overthinking this… but I refused to believe that it could be this easy. I mean, I knew that at the end of the race, kami pa rin ang mananalo. But I was supposed to fight like hell for this. I was supposed to put everything on the line to win.

This didn’t feel right.

At all.

“She’s gonna do something,” I said.

“And you’re prepared,” Aspen replied.

I gave him a small nod. I was prepared. Of course I was. I had years studying her. I attended brunch against my will. I engaged in small talks even though all she did was give me backhanded compliments.

Abuela raised me—of course I knew what I had to do. I just wished I didn’t have to do that.

“So, everything’s gonna be alright,” Aspen told me. “Abuela might have been a pain in the ass, but if there’s one thing I admire about her—she’s all about family. Abby’s not family. Abuela won’t let her get ahead.”

Aspen gave me a small pat on the head—like how he did when we were younger.

“I know that even in the depths of hell, she’s looking out for us. Don’t you worry,” he continued. God, we, two, are really alike sometimes.

Maven and Abby and their little spawns arrived thereafter. I exchanged pleasantries with them. The kids were well-behaved. Jeremiah looked so much like Maven. It’s such a shame that Juliette looks a lot like Abby. Hope she doesn’t grow her little horns soon.

“Why don’t you ever bring Atticus around?” Abby asked me. I looked at her. She looked so relaxed. I knew it. I knew she’s planning something.

“I don’t want him around you,” I simply replied.

Abby gave me her usual polite smile. “Around me? Why me?”

“I think we both know why,” I said.

She gave me a small nod. “I see.”

I wanted to ask her what she was planning, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that I was losing sleep over her. God, how I long for the day when I don’t have to worry about her.

“But she’s with Archibald, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Now, I’m confused.”

Agad na kumunot ang noo ko. She knew that I was about to ask her a question, that was why she quickly left me to go talk to Maven. What was she talking about? I knew Abby. I knew her well enough to know that she just would not randomly say things like that.

Quickly, I excused myself.

Mabilis akong umuwi. Naabutan ko si Archibald at Atticus na nasa may garden area. They were having brunch, as well. I saw how Atticus’ face lightened up upon seeing me.

“Mommy!” he said.

I gave him a forced smile. “Hey,” I replied. I looked at Archibald. “Can we talk?”

“About what?” he asked.

I looked at Atticus’ nanny and signaled her to take the child away. I took the empty seat that Atticus left. Archibald was watching my every move.

“What did you do?” I asked him.

Kumunot ang noo niya. “What?”

“What did you do, Gallego?” I asked once again.

Confusion was written all over his face. “Nothing,” he replied. “Nothing you didn’t ask me to,” he continued. “Sinusunod ko lang lahat ng sinasabi mo. Kailangan mo ako sa Mindanao? Nandon agad ako. Kailangan mo akong magbigay ng statement? Kakabisaduhin ko agad. All I do is what you ask me to.”

No.

I wasn’t convinced.

I knew that there was something with the way Abby spoke to me earlier.

“What is this about?” he asked.

“We’re so close,” I told him.

“I know,” he replied. “Your plan’s working. I saw the numbers.”

He’s right—the numbers never lie… but then again, they’re just numbers. The voters’ mind are fickle. It would only take one news to change the game entirely.

And it didn’t even have to be true—it only has to look true.

What was Abby planning on doing? I knew she wouldn’t say anything about Atticus. Because as much as I didn’t want to do it, I would go after Juliette and make sure that that kid will need a lot of therapy in the future.

I didn’t do anything to Rosie—

“Tell me,” I told Archibald.

“What?”

I vaguely remember him saying something to me before… him acting strangely when Rosie died… but I knew that he wasn’t there when she died.

Because there was a meeting.

That Abuela told me he needed to attend to secure some funding.

“What did you do?” I asked him.

“Nothing,” he said.

“What did you do to Rosie, Gallego?”

I wished I didn’t see how the colors drained from his face.

I wished I didn’t know him completely to know when he’s lying and when he’s not.

“What did you do?” I asked again.

We were so close.

We’re almost there.

I didn’t need him to mess it all up.

“I didn’t know that she’ll do it.”

“Did you go to Abuela?” I asked him.

“Yes,” he said, almost inaudibly. “But I didn’t know that she’ll do it.”

“Well, what the hell did you think she’ll do?!” I shouted at him. If I wanted Rosie dead, I would’ve done it myself! But I didn’t because I knew that those kind of secrets? They never stay hidden. They always find a way to come to the surface, one way or another.

“I just asked for her help,” he replied. “To fix the mess that I made,” he continued. “Because you said that that’s what she does—make the problem go away.”

I heard something breaking.

Something shattering.

For all the years that I’d known him, I always told myself that he’s just misunderstood. I had always tried to justify all the mistakes that he did in my head.

He’s just Archie.

He’s not from my world.

He’s imperfect and that’s fine.

Even when he cheated on me, when he got someone pregnant, somehow, in my head, I managed to make excuses for him. I told myself that he fucked up, but for some reason, I drove him to do that. I told myself that he’s an idiot, but I was the one who told him that he could get a mistress.

Somehow, in some way, in my head, I managed to make it my fault.

Because he’s Archie.

He’s not like me.

But now?

I see all the flaws.

I see all the mistakes.

He’s Archie.

He’s just like me.

And I don’t know if I like him being like me.

---

I left the house.

I needed to think.

I knew that Abby would use this against me—not now, but when the election’s right around the corner. I knew that she knew that when it comes to things like this, timing is everything. I knew that if she leaked this right now, I would be on defense.

Filipinos are forgiving to a fault—but Abby knew that as well. She used that to her advantage as well. We’re almost playing the game using the same playbook.

“Let’s have a 20 minute break,” I said to everyone on the campaign team. “Cheryl,” I called bago pa man siya makalabas. She’s the only one who’s been here long enough to know about Rosie.

God, it’s like déjà vu.

Once again, we’re here.

“We have a problem,” I told her.

“A big one?”

“Very,” I replied.

“Will it affect the results?”

If it were any other problem, I would not be this worried.

But Abby knew what she’s doing.

Throwing this problem out in the open would result to the opening of all the other problems. It’s the ripple effect. She knew it. She knew that she held all the power at this point. All she needed was the perfect timing.

“Yes.”

Because it’s one thing for Archibald to get someone pregnant. It’s a mistake. It’s a forgivable mistake. We could get away with it.

But to plan the murder of the mother of your child?

That’s the kind of mistake that makes you lose the presidential election—makes you lose the respect of everyone around you. Because who can do that?

“Change of plans,” I told her as I gave her the instruction for what I needed her to do.

I didn’t want to have to come to this… but Archie left me with no other choice.

---

I had met with all the people I had to meet with.

I talked to Senator Velasquez and told him about my plans. He said that it’s a great plan and that he’d help me with it. I did ask him why, out of curiosity. He said that he’s at the end of his life. He’d take it to his grave. In return, I have to make sure that his son will be well protected.

The election’s in a week.

Any day now, Abby will pull the trigger.

I knew because if I were her, I would do it around this time. Enough time to get the news spread across the country. Enough time to let people speculate—to add fuel to the fire and paint him in the worst way possible.

“Nadia,” Archibald called my name.

“Yes?” I replied. “Do you have any question about the topics?”

We’re in the backstage for the first presidential debate. There were three presidential debates. I knew that Maven would talk about his progressive views as expected. Archibald would say the things that I told him about.

It would have been perfect.

But none of that matters anymore.

“Hindi ba natin paguusapan iyong—”

“No,” I said. “Let’s focus on the election.”

I still go home, but I never really had a conversation about that with him anymore. I heard enough. I just let him spend time with his son when he’s free and do campaigns as scheduled.

I was part of the audience. I listened to all the questions and answer. Cheryl was beside me, monitoring the response online. As expected, the people on twitter was eating up Maven’s answers. It’s a different world on Facebook. They’re more on Archibald’s side. They like how simplistic his approach were. He’s not a smarty-pants like Maven. He’s more empathetic and relatable—at least at the moment.

When the debate ended, I walked towards Archibald. I helped him remove his microphone. He was staring at me and I was letting him because I knew that the cameras were still rolling.

“Nadia,” he called my name.

“What?”

“I know you probably won’t believe me, but I’ll say it anyway,” he said while I was holding on to his collar and looking in his eyes. Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ko. “In my own fucked up way, I really do love you.”

My lips parted a little.

“Oh.”

“We’ll be fine,” he continued.

I felt like my whole chest was numb.

It was like he knew.

We said goodbye to the crew of the show. Nauna na sila Maven makaalis kasabay nung ibang mga candidates. Archibald stayed because he was on Facetime with Atticus. Nauna na ako lumabas. I stayed in the car. He was looking at the window of the car like he could see me even though the window was heavily tinted.

He kept on walking.

And walking.

Until we heard some shots fired. 

**

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Epilogue

Epilogue

Everyone was congratulating me.

I gave a small nod as it would be in poor taste for me to say thank you.

“When is daddy coming back?” Atticus asked.

I looked at him. He was dressed in all black. I remember him asking me why his dad was not replying to him when he talked to him while he was in the casket. I remembered him calling him daddy over and over again and then looking at me with his questioning eyes, wondering why his daddy’s ignoring him. Because Archibald has never done that—when Atticus called for him, he always came running.

“Daddy is gone,” I told him.

“Gone where?”

“Heaven,” I said.

“Can I go to heaven, too?”

He looked a lot like him. They spent a lot of time together that he sometimes acted like him, too.

“No, you can’t,” I replied.

“Oh…” he said with a disappointed look on his face. “Why not?”

“You just can’t,” I said.

“When can I see him?”

“When you’re older.”

“How old?”

“When you’re 30,” I said.

He counted using his fingers. The crease on his forehead deepened as he came into realization as to how long he had to wait until he could see his father again.

I didn’t know how to answer his question. I didn’t want to always answer his questions. As soon as he’s old enough, I’d send him to a boarding school abroad. It’s better this way. He didn’t have anyone here anymore—the only person who truly loved him and cared for him was gone. He’d just feel more alone here.

I left him to the care of his nanny. It was the 40th day following the death of Archibald. There was a dinner in the house. Typically, it was a gathering to commemorate the loss. It didn’t feel like it. No one was really talking about him. His family has not said a word to me. My family never really cared about him.

Apart from the questioning public, it was only Atticus who kept on asking about what happened.

A lot has happened since then.

He was shot.

And then he fought for his life in the operating room.

He eventually lost.

People speculated.

Who killed him?

What was the motive?

Could it be Abby? Afterall, she already did it before. She’s a cold-blooded murderer who shot down an entire plane. What’s stopping her from doing it again? When it was obvious that her husband was losing the election?

What will happen to Archibald’s candidacy?

And then, in the middle of grieving for my own husband, I announced that I would be stepping in, that I would continue to fight the good fight that my husband courageously fought for.

People love drama— craved for it.

They love the underdog, the victim.

And as they say—history is bound to repeat itself.

“I wish you were here to answer my questions,” I said as I stood in front of Abuela’s tomb. I couldn’t stay for any more second in the house. I couldn’t look at Atticus’ face. I had to leave.

“I never got to ask you because I didn’t really want to know,” I continued as I read her name Victoriana Jimena de Marco-Gomez de Liaño. Abuela’s always been a lot—even her name was a mouthful.

“I told myself that it probably was just that—a rumor… because how can you orchestrate the murder of your own husband?”

I felt the wind blowing against my skin even though the mausoleum was enclosed.

“But I was younger then… and life gets more complicated every day. I did things I never thought I was capable of—both good and bad,” I continued as I lit up a candle. I placed it in front of her name.

“If I were being honest, I don’t think happiness is for me, Abuela… I tried being happy. I really did. But it’s hard. Happiness just doesn’t come easy for me unlike for other people. It’s a struggle.”

I drew in a deep breath.

“I know no one will be able to understand what I did but you…” I said. “Are you proud of me, Abuela?” I asked.

She probably is.

Because her and I—we’re cut from the same cloth.

We’re the history that kept on repeating.

She was the woman behind the man, but I chose differently.

I became the man.

Archie’s Letter

Archie’s Letter

To my dearest Nadia,

I don’t know when you’ll find this letter, but I know that you’ll eventually find this—probably when you’re packing your things for your move to Malacañang. I know you don’t like it when someone touches your things, so I know that you’ll find this letter on your own.

Congratulations, my Nadia.

You deserve it more than anyone.

If I were right, you’ll read this letter when my death is still new. You’re still mourning. I know you still are. You do love me. I know that. But I also know that you hate me—understandably so.

I fucked up a lot. I didn’t know how to love someone like you—you are bigger than life itself. Sometimes, at night, when you’re sleeping, I just stare at you and wonder what you saw in me. Because you still chose me. Among all the men you knew, you chose me.

It baffled me.

And scared me.

And made me insecure.

Because you are… you.

Nadia fucking de Marco—the love of my fucking life.

I’m not saying this to blame you. I am well-aware that it is my fault. I fucked up a lot and over and over again. It’s on me. It’s my fault. My actions were a reflection of my insecurity.

I’m so sorry that I was not there when you lost our baby. I will never forgive myself for that, Nadia. Never.

I will never ask you to love Atticus. I know it hurts to look at him because he’s a constant reminder of my betrayal. I will never ask that of you, but please just look after him. You don’t have to love him, but please make sure that he’s going to be fine. I love that kid. He’s not to blame for me fucking up. And I know that you’re gonna ship him abroad as soon as he’s old enough. I understand. Just… if you can… at least let him spend the holidays with you. Please do that for me.

You’re probably wondering why I am writing this letter and how did I know that I’ll die. I knew it because I know you. It was when we were going through couple’s therapy that I knew that we’re never going to work out again. We’re just too broken to be fixed.

And then you changed your name.

I knew you sometimes think of me as an idiot, but baby, I still studied the law. I knew why you changed your name. Right there and then, I knew what my fate’s gonna be. You said that there will be a President Gallego in Malacañang—I knew that it was not gonna be me.

I know you talk a lot about selling the islands, but I know for a fact that you never will. You care about the legacy that you will leave. I have complete trust that you will make a great president.

Enjoy Malacañang, President Nadia Gallego.

I forgive you.

And I love you, too.