1: Meeting Tareq

“‘Deee-lahn’ That’s how he says my name, all exotic-like! Not ‘dill-un’ like everyone else calls me. That Arabian accent and super deep voice make me melt. He’s like a man-man,” I told Wes.

“Well yeah. You’re gay, you like men.” Wes rolled his eyes.

“No! It’s different than the other guys I’ve dated. It’s like all these years I was plain little dill-un, and now… I’m special! I can’t go back now that I’m Deee-lahn!” I swooned and clutched the dish towel against my Muffin Manor apron.

“No offense, Dylan, but you’re kind of an idiot. Plus you’re hot. Hot and dumb, that’s a dangerous combination. I love you, but you need to get real.” Wes wiped down the counter as the morning rush cleared out.

“I know. It’s only been a few weeks and I’ve already planned our wedding, but he’s so hot and so into me. His eyes are this deep shade of brown that just sucks you in. And his body. He’s a muscle god and not even stuck up about it. And he’s tall and I feel so safe when I’m next to him like he would kick anyone’s ass to protect me.” I rubbed down the coffee nozzles with the clean towel.

“So sleep with him and move on. He’s just here temporarily on business and looking for a pretty boy to play with. Then he’ll go back to his home country. He probably hasa wife and kids there. Don’t get too set in him. You’ll get hurt. You fall for a-holes.” Wes put away the cold brew pitchers.

“I wish I could just sleep with him! He’s a total gentleman though. We haven’t even done stuff yet, just kissing, no tongue. He’s definitely not a virgin… maybe he’s not that interested in me.” I refilled the coffee lid dispenser and reached for the sugar packet bowl.

I knew exactly what Wes was thinking. I tend to get myself into dumb situations, but Tareq was unlike any guy who’d ever paid attention to me.

“Of course he’s into you, but c’mon. You met this hot, rich, Arab, muscle guy who showers you with attention and hasn’t even tried to sleep with you. He wants to take you to some country you’ve never heard of in the Middle East to meet his family, in a place where gays are most definitely not welcome. This sounds perfectly normal and safe to you?” Wes went to open a new box of strawberry muffins to refill the bakery case near the register.

“Well not when you put it like that, but… well, you have to come tonight. It’s the first time he’s meeting my family, and that includes you. He’s taking us to Luca’s. You love their pasta… and Jared will be there.” I was doing my best to tempt him.

“Jared’s going?” Wes had been obsessed with my cousin since we were kids.

Jared was the golden boy, the alpha sports jock my aunt loved to brag about. He’d gone full scholarship to Arizona State for Lacrosse. He was a few years older than us, but a total boy scout with impeccable manners that Wes interpreted as interest. He was most definitely not gay, and would probably go for another jock-type even if he was. Wes was cute, but not in his league.

Wes and I grew up close to each other. By divinely dumb luck, two twinks were dropped on the same block to loving families and grew up as inseparable best friends. We’d had our fights, but we’d always had each others’ backs. He could be mean and vindictive, but he guided me through things like we were twins. He even got us the jobs at Muffin Manor.

“Yep! Jared’s home for the break. Plus, his girlfriend didn’t come with him, so you’ll get to sit right by his side. I think you’ll really like Tareq.” I did my best to look pitiful. I needed Wes to be there.

“Of course I’ll go. Someone needs to snoop this guy and your aunt loves everyone. Jared and I will put him through the questions to make sure you don’t end up in some sex cult.” Wes collected the empty mugs that customers put on the tray near the trash bins.

+++–+++

“My beautiful boy. I missed you,” Tareq said when I answered the door. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as I waved him inside from the blazing afternoon sun.

He put an arm around my waist and pulled me against his side when he saw the living room was empty and quiet. He moved in for a kiss on the lips then rubbed his nose against mine.

“Wes should be here soon. My aunt is getting ready and my cousin is on the phone. I’ll go tell them to hurry.” I started to pull away, but he kept a firm grip on me.

His dark, bulging muscles stretched a tight white t-shirt made out of the softest material I’d ever felt. He had on dark pants and black leather shoes. A silver chain and a healthy spritz of cologne hung around his neck. He always looked expensive, important.

Tareq had the body of a prize fighter with a confident air and gentle, deep voice. His large, brown eyes drew you in and made you feel important. He was the type of guy who’d look just as natural kicking a ball across a packed stadium as he would strolling into a red carpet premiere. Wherever he went, he belonged, he dominated, he conquered.

He’d shown me pictures of his sprawling desert estate, his vacations in Europe, and his catalog perfect family. He was visiting Arizona to inspect two resorts his family was building on the developing side of the Catalina mountains.

I couldn’t imagine why he liked me. I know I’m cute, but I’m also a small, thin, poor, unathletic, uncoordinated guy who had no idea what to do with his life. That’s not a rare commodity around here. Throw a rock.

I am a good dancer though, and I can draw pretty well, mostly anime fantasy stuff. I just didn’t know what he could possibly value in me. But that’s depressing, and currently, the man of my dreams is paying attention to me so let’s get back to that.

“There is no rush, unless my angel-boy is hungry. You did eat lunch today?” He rubbed his hand up my back as if I’d hidden food there.

He was checking on me. He’d done that since our first date when he interpreted my lack of hunger due to extreme nervousness as me not liking food or having some eating disorder. I do like food, but my body burns it off pretty quickly. I have trouble sitting still and I like running. I’d always been small but healthy.

“I did. I… Oh, Aunt Hilda, this is Tareq.” My eyes turned towards the hallway where my aunt was emerging with her purse on her shoulder which meant it was time to go.

“Hello, Ms Davis. I am Tareq Zakar. I have heard so much about you. It is a pleasure.” Tareq let me go and went to shake her hand.

“Oh my. Dylan didn’t tell me how handsome you were… enchanting.” My aunt eyed him with interest as he leaned down to kiss her hand.

“And this is my cousin Jared.” I waved at Jared who came in and gave Tareq a respectable bro nod as he finished his phone call.

“Hey, bro.” Jared came over and shook his hand before Tareq turned his charm-ray back towards my aunt.

“You have a very lovely home.” Tareq said this with as much sincerity as one can fake about a simple, three-bedroom, tract home on the betterside of Tucson.

“It was my brother’s home with his wife. Those were Dylan’s parents. When they passed suddenly, my son was heading off to college so I thought it would be better to keep a stable place for Dylan and give up my small condo. This is the only home he’s known so I moved down from Phoenix and transferred to a better job position here.” She put her hand on my right shoulder and sighed like she hadn’t intended to bring down the mood in the room.

“He is blessed to have you. Shall we go?” Tareq hugged me to his side.

As if waiting for his cue, Wes came in the front door looking ready to make soft boy fashion posts for his social media. He’d gone all out for Jared who didn’t even look up from his phone.

“So Dylan is turning 20. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?” Aunt Hilda went for the tough questions after we piled into the large SUV Tareq had rented for his business trip to the American Southwest.

“Of course. You are his care-taker. All questions are welcome. I am 27.” Tareq was ready for her inquisition.

“About time to start a family, no?” She was being bold tonight.

“Hopefully when I have the right partner and we are both ready. I want large family like I grow up with.” Tareq looked over at me.

“Dylan will be great with kids. He’s very patient.” I have no idea why she said that. She was trying to sell me here.

“I do no doubt this. He is gentle boy.” Tareq agreed.

“So how did you two meet?,” Aunt Hilda asked.

“I told you already,” I laughed. She is a bad listener.

“I want to hear HIS side of it,” she replied to cover her lack of listening skills.

“One morning, I am on my way to the construction site and I need coffee. As I leave coffee place, my father is calling me and I do not think. I put the coffee on top of the car to answer phone and then begin to drive away. I forget the coffee is on the roof! Of course, it does not stay put and my front window is soon painted in coffee. That is when I see the Muffin Manor and decide to try again on the coffee and find towel to wipe my window,” Tareq began.

“That’s the day I went to Phoenix for the concert?” Wes asked.

“Yeah, I was working with Nisha.” I nodded.

“I could have been Misses Tareq Zakar? It wasn’t even a great concert,” Wes lamented.

“Actually Nisha called him next. So…” I shrugged.

“So I go inside.” Tareq ignored our side dispute over his affections. “I ask the young woman at the counter for a coffee and paper towels, she tell me they are only to give two per coffee so I need to buy muffin if I want more. I tell her what happen, but she is unmoved.”

“She is so rude! I love it,” Wes chimed in.

“Dylan appears with a roll of towels and spray. He goes to parking lot while the lady make my coffee and he clean my windows.” Tareq reaches over and squeezes my hand.

“There were zero customers so we weren’t busy. I felt so bad for him and it was 100 degrees out. The coffee was plastered on there.” I laughed.

“He is my little angel. I demand to take him for dinner to give thanks for him.” Tareq beamed.

“He tried to give me 40 bucks, then offered dinner when I declined the money.” I put my head against his shoulder.

Tareq continued to charm them throughout dinner. Even Wes lost interest in Jared as Tareq told them of his travels and adventures. He’d been to every continent, even taking a penguin sighting cruise to the tip of Antarctica. I felt so unworthy of him, but so grateful every time he touched me.

After dinner, he took us back home then asked my aunt if it was ok to take me out for the night.

“Well yeah, Dylan’s an adult. Bring him back tomorrow,” she joked.

“He will be cared for. I assure you,” Tareq said as if there were dragons flying about.

He bid them a good evening, and then started to drive away.

“I want to show you this spot I found up in the mountain. Your city is so beautiful,” he told me.

There are five big mountains around Tucson, and it certainly has its charms. Though the flat areas are filled with tweakers, soldiers, and honky tonks; the foothill areas are downright beautiful.

Our house is somewhere in the middle, where the Catalinas roll into gentle hills before settling into the urban concrete and cacti. Tareq took a wide boulevard that headed straight for the mountains. We were winding up to the expensive areas when his phone suddenly rang.

“It is my father. I must answer,” Tareq said before switching over to Arabic. He argued with an older version of his voice coming through the car speakers before settling into a quieter tone and then finally hanging up.

“Is ok we go to my hotel? I forget to send the papers he needs. It is morning in my country and my father waits.” He reached over and put his hand on my knee.

“Of course.” I shrugged because I had zero interest in what we did so long as we did it together.

Tareq took a turn and then raced up a hillside that wandered into Oracle canyon. He wound his way up into the mountain then down a winding boulevard that climbed between rows of giant saguaro cacti until we arrived at a resort my parents once took me to for a fancy brunch with their friends.

“Oh wow, the city! Look!” I pointed out the window to the dramatic views of the valley, a million little lights glittering below us.

“It is beautiful, but my angel-boy is the better view,” he offered.

We drove right up to the entrance where a valet was waiting to take his car.

“I will only be a short time, please park it away from cars?” Tareq pulled a 20 from his wallet and the valet lit up happily.

We went through a grand lobby with a huge fireplace surrounded by oversized leather couches and ornate Western decorations to a cluster of elevators. His room was on the top floor with four other suites.

He put a hand in the center of my back and guided me to the end of the hallway to the grand double doors.

I was going to see his room, and maybe more of his body.

2: Exploring His Space

“I will be quick,” he said as he let me in.

“No rush! I’m chill.” I walked in as he rushed over to a desk piled with stacks of papers.

The room was one large area with a living room setup in one corner, a bed in the other, a small kitchenette by the entry, and then a door to the bathroom. He’d left the curtains open to show the dark sky and endless lights of the valley floor. The blinking lights of an airplane made their way from the television to the bed and told me I was looking south.

Tareq began to dig through papers while I snooped around. He had a pile of dirty laundry near the couch; an assortment of work suits, gym clothes, and sleepwear.

“I find here! I run down to business center and scan these. I will move quickly. Ok, my boy?” Tareq announced before I could snoop more.

“Do you want me to come with you?” I asked.

“Is better you stay put. I turn on the television for you. I will be fast. There is water in the kitchen. Do you wish for snacks? You did not eat much at dinner.” Tareq pointed towards the little kitchen area.

He grabbed a remote control and put the tv on then quickly flipped until he found a harmless kid’s show.

“Watch this. It looks ok. I am back soon!” He quickly kissed my cheek then dashed from the room.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, and then went to look around. His bathroom counter was filled with hair and skin products. As alpha as he appeared, he definitely took good care of his body. I gently sprayed his cologne. I loved his scent.

He had a few medication bottles, but the writing was in Arabic so I didn’t know what they were and I felt bad for even looking. The most scandalous thing in his bathroom array was a tube of athletic anti-fungal cream which made sense seeing how much time he spent working out.

I left the bathroom and looked into his closet. Everything was organized perfectly on hangers or folded into perfect corners. He took care of his things. The closet had drawers below the hanging clothes where I found a collection of briefs, jockstraps, and boxers alongside a colorful array of socks. It was a stark contrast from my jumbled drawers back home.

I closed the drawer just as I heard him swipe the card key on the door. I closed the closet and turned towards the door just as he entered.

“Do you need the restroom?” he asked, assuming I wasn’t snooping.

“I do. It’s here?” I asked and pointed to the only door in the room that didn’t lead outside.

“Yes, go ahead please. I send the papers and my father is happy.” Tareq beamed.

I went back into the bathroom and did what was needed.

“Do you like this show? Is ok I check the sports?” Tareq asked when I came back out.

“Yeah. I love sports!” I lied.

He was sprawled out on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table. I came and sat beside him. He pulled me in under his arm as he flipped to a soccer channel.

“The Madrid game is on! Is ok we watch a little? Then I take you to see the special view.” Tareq kissed my neck and rubbed his nose behind my ear. It sent a deep shiver through me.

“Sports is good. Let’s watch sports.” I was happy being under his hold, and in no hurry to leave his room.

“You smell like my cologne,” he noted. “You like?”

“I love it. I’ll have to buy it when mine runs out.” I put my head against his pecs and his lips nestled into the top of my hair.

“Is not the scent I will pick for you. You are gentle boy who smell like soap. We find nice cologne for you when we visit my country.” Tareq had his right arm around me and started to rub my chest.

“You have the best chest. You workout a lot?” I snuggled in against his heartbeat.

“Oh!” Tareq yelled at the television in Arabic. I didn’t understand a word of it, but he was very into the game.

I put my right hand on his stomach, feeling his tight abs. I rubbed it gently as he continued reacting to whatever was happening in the game. I started to rub lower and noticed his bulge was getting fuller.

I thought he was too distracted by the game to realize I was exploring him, but when my hand got down to the button on his pants, he stopped me. His hand came down and covered mine. He gently pushed my hand back up to his stomach.

“Dylan.” He kissed the top of my head. “Is not proper to rush things. I want very much we enjoy one another, but we must wait. You do not rush the one who will be your mate. You are too young to understand this. I will be the strong one.”

“I’m going to be your mate?” I looked up at him as my heart started to pound in my ear.

“I hope you will want this. You are so perfect and I know we will be great together. I dream of find perfect gentle boy to be mine. I see everything I dream of in you.” Tareq’s eyes lazered through me right down to my core.

“I want that too. I never thought a guy like you would like a guy like me.” I spilled my truth. It wasn’t pretty. I sounded so desperate.

“See? You do not know a guy like me. It’s why we will take our time and not rush to make the sex. Ok, my angel-boy?” Tareq reached down and brushed the hair from my forehead.

“Yes, sir.” I nodded. “Got it.”

He went back to the soccer game as I settled into his hold. I took my shoes off and pulled my legs up under me then quickly fell asleep against his heartbeat.

“Dylan, the game is over. I take you home now so your family does not worry. Is nearly 11.” Tareq gently woke me.

“She’ll be asleep by now. I’ll text my aunt. I didn’t bring my keys.” I yawned and reached to get my phone from my pocket.

“We will wake them? This is not good.” Tareq stretched sleepily.

“I guess so. They won’t be happy.” I didn’t tell them that Jared would definitely be up and I could text him to let me inside, or I could use the key we kept under a rock.

“You send her text to let her know you sleep here so she is not worried when she wakes. I will have you home in the morning on my way to work. She will be angry?” Tareq looked concerned.

“She knows I’m with you. She knows you’re responsible,” I assured him.

“Good. I call downstairs for extra toothbrush. I have shirt you can sleep in. Go to shower and i bring you things.” Tareq helped me to my feet then pointed me towards the bathroom.

I took a quick shower then found a toothbrush, t-shirt, and fleece shorts waiting on the counter for me. The shorts were his size, but had drawstrings so I could keep them on me without too much hassle. I brushed my teeth and hair then went out to find him watching another game and typing on his laptop.

“Time for bed, sleepy Angel. Can you stay on your side or should I put a wall of pillows down the middle?” He joked with a wide grin.

“I’ll try. No promises.” I yawned.

“What do you need to sleep?” He came to the bed and pulled back the covers for me to get in.

“I usually put my phone next to my pillow and watch stuff until I’m out… or sometimes Wes calls and complains about things until I fall asleep, then he hangs up and yells at me the next day.” I got under the covers and turned on my side to hug the pillow.

“No, no. Is not good to have electronics at bedtime for your young brain. How can I help you sleep?” Tareq leaned down to pull the covers over my chest.

“Hold me?” Truthfully, I was ready to pass out. But if he was offering, I wasn’t going to pass that up.

“Of course. First night away from home. You will be scared for strange bed. Ok. I hold you.” Tareq nodded. His logic made no sense since I’m not a four year old, but that wasn’t important right now.

“It’s kinda scary. I didn’t want you to think I’m weak.” I tried my best to look soft.

“Dylan! [Deee-lahn] You never need work for this. You are young. It’s ok to be open with me. You are very safe in my bed. I will always be here for your fear. But first I take quick shower.” He leaned down to kiss my forehead then disappeared into the bathroom.

I played with my phone so I wouldn’t accidentally fall asleep and miss his arms. I opened google, typed in “murder,” then hit the news option.

Tucson isn’t big on murder. We’re more of a weird crimes kind of town; like drunk people passing out in the drive thru line or someone trying to break in through a window that is smaller than their beer belly. Murder is more of a Phoenix thing. The nearest killing was a body found in the desert next to the native reservation west of town. It was just enough to put me on edge so I wouldn’t pass out as soon as he touched me.

I heard the water turn off and quickly put my phone back on the side table just how he’d placed it. He came out with a towel wrapped around his waist, his black hair glistening in messy perfection.

“Still awake? I hurry, coming soon!” Tareq grabbed a few things and then disappeared back into the bathroom.

He banged around for a few minutes then came back out with his hair combed and a small pair of shorts clinging to his perfect frame. He ran around the room checking the door locks, turning off lights, and plugging in his devices before diving into the bed next to me and getting under the covers. He slid his muscled arms around my chest and pressed his bulge against my bottom, wrapping his right leg across my legs. I felt his warmth pulse through me.

“What I can tell to make you sleep? You wish for the story of bedtime?” he asked.

“Bedtime has an origin story? How did it start?” I laughed.

“Do not make fun of my English, little angel.” Tareq pinched my nipple.

“I wasn’t… I’m sorry. That was mean of me. It’s just so hot, your accent. It makes me melty inside,” I admitted.

“Oh… I like that, my little melting angel. What do you wish to hear?” he asked.

“Tell me about our trip. When are we going? How will your parents feel about me? About us? Are you out to them? Will I be a surprise?” I had questions.

“We will go soon to Satra, possibly one week more here. I am eager to return home. You will love it there. My parents know I am bringing a boy to meet them. They know I do not prefer the females. They accept this. Is not so unnatural in our country. Is about 15% of families are of same-gender parents. We are unique for the Arab world,” Tareq began.

“I’ve never heard of that country. So we’ll be normal there?” This was definitely waking me up.

“Is a country where other Arabs send their loved ones for protection or come on their own for discretion. You will not find rainbows or parades, but you will find many others like us. We are a land that our neighbors use for safe keeping important things; money, loved ones, secrets. We are small enough to ignore and important enough to protect.” Tareq hugged me tightly.

“It sounds awesome! We have to go.” I turned to look at him excitedly.

“This is not way to make you sleepy,” Tareq realized out loud. “No more talk.” He rolled onto his back and pulled me against him so my head was on his chest.

“This is better?” He cradled me in his warmth.

“This is pretty good.” My lip rested against his nipple, but I quickly discovered a new problem as my bulge was pressed against his side and quickly growing as he touched me.

He rubbed my back and kissed the top of my hair, ignoring my poking in his side. I slid my left leg up and over his. His hand rubbed down my back, but didn’t go farther.

“Sleep, my angel. Is late. You are tired.” His voice, deep and soft, stretched out the words until I yawned and started to close my eyes.

3: Flying Away

I woke up before him. The thick curtains fought back the morning sun, which rises well before 6 AM in summer. I started to reach for my phone; a standard first priority when anyone awakens. But then I heard his breathing, felt his gentle heartbeat against my cheek.

I decided to just lay there, be present in this moment.

His body was a strong heater that fought valiantly against the chilly air assaulting us from the overhead vents. I had one hand resting on his tight abdominals. There was a narrow trail of hair that ran from his furry pecs and disappeared into his gray fleece shorts. I rubbed my hand down slowly towards the waistband of his underwear peeking out at me. I made it within an inch before I felt his body stir.

“You are awake, my boy?” His body yawned, making his muscles tense and his arms stretch. I raised up from his chest and nodded at him. His messy hair and bleary eyes were tempered by a contented smile.

“You sleep so peaceful.” He leaned down to kiss me.

“You’re so warm when you sleep. I love it.” I kissed his chest then laid back down.

“I have the heat. I am a wolf. I try to not make the room so cold for you. I keep you warm in my nest.” He reached for the covers and pulled them up over my head.

His body stretched and then I heard the television click on and a reporter started talking about a water main break up in Oracle.

“I order breakfast delivery. What do you wish for? I have menu on my phone. Come up and see.” He pulled back the covers then reached for his phone.

“Nothing too heavy. I have to work later and we get free muffins.” I’d traded my morning shift for the afternoon crowd which got surprisingly busy.

“The Muffin Manor. It sound so royal.” He chuckled. “Why do you work this? You should be in school, no? You study something?”

“I did a semester at Pima College, but I had a rough time in high school. College was worse. They placed me in remedial everything. I got kind of lost after my parents… I got lost. I barely finished high school and… Muffins are just easier to deal with. Muffins don’t make me think.” I’d never said that out loud.

“Oh.” That’s all he said with his lips, but his eyes said much more. They told me I was pitiful, problematic, pathetic.

“I know! I’m a mess. You deserve better.” I lowered my eyes to his chest.

“I do not like you say this hard on yourself. You are beautiful and perfect. Something tragic happen to you at a young age. You do not decide when trauma finishes with you, my sweet boy. You need time to heal. I will be here for your needs.” He put his hand under my chin, guided my face to his, and kissed my lips.

“I guess you… I wasn’t going to bring it up, but my aunt told you my parents died, and I guess it was obvious anyways since they weren’t there for the dinner. I wasn’t trying to lie about it, I just didn’t want to bring it up too soon or I’d scare you off. You probably want to know what happened, right? I owe you that, right?” I started to talk very fast.

“You will tell me when you decide to discuss it. You do not owe me your tragedy. It does not scare me off. Right now you just need choose breakfast. Ok? You like eggs? You want the bacon?” He offered a gentle smile then pulled me up to lie beside him.

“Hmm.” I scanned the menu. “Oh! The healthy start oatmeal looks good. I like berries. And an Orange juice? Please?”

“Very good.” He picked my choices on the menu then added an omelette and coffee for himself. “15 minutes will be delivered. We dress now to eat.”

I got up and found the clothes I had from the night before. I could change at home before catching the bus to work. He pulled on a t-shirt and changed to workout shorts. I got a nice view of him in tight stretchy boxer briefs before I went into the bathroom to dress.

We ate breakfast outside on his patio that looked out over the city and mountains. He told me he had to get documents ready to send back home then work on our travel arrangements.

“I can take the week off. My boss said her son is home from college for the break so he’ll take my shifts.” I scooped the last of the oatmeal from the bottom of the bowl.

“You will love my home. Maybe a week is not enough? Perhaps you will stay longer.” He sipped his coffee and looked out over the view.

“I can’t miss too much. They’ll replace me quickly. Lots of people need jobs. My aunt said I either need to work or go to school. My parents’ life insurance is in a trust until I’m 21 unless I go to school, and it’s not really a big amount anyways. I like my job and Wes works there. I don’t want to lose it,” I explained.

“You can open your own muffin store in my country! You know how to make them, I help you get set up. You will build empire and be very wealthy!” Tareq joked.

“Yeah, right! Like I can just open my own shop! Muffin Manor is legendary! Eloise Benson opened her shop after her husband died in Vietnam leaving her with two small children and 500 dollars! She has served muffins to every President since Carter and was invited to Buckingham Palace to make muffins with The Queen! She has stores in ELEVEN states plus Guam! If I open up some knock-off muffin store, she will hunt me down and crush me into the ground!” I echoed all the talking points from the training video I’d watched on my first day.

“She sounds very dangerous… maybe you make danishes instead!” Tareq laughed.

“You think taking on Big Danish is easier? They have their own country! The Danes are known for their assassin skills. You are trying to get me killed.” I shot back.

“I’m serious though, Dylan. I can see my life with you. A life beyond muffins. You are too young to worry about work and school. But maybe you will see that when you come to my home.” Tareq dropped the smile. “You will be happy in my home. This is discussion we have later, yes? I know you are the one.”

We finished our breakfast and then he got dressed for work and took me home.

“I will pick you up after work. You close at 7?” He asked when he pulled into my driveway and stopped.

“I do. But I can take the bus. It’s not far, like three stops. We can meet up later and hang out..” I assured him. He was being too nice and I didn’t want him seeing me all messy after a long shift.

“I will be there to collect you at closing time. It is dark by 7 and I don’t like you riding a bus at night. Is not safe for a gentle boy. I will be there. You count with me.” He put his hand on my cheek and pulled me in for a kiss.

After work he drove me home and talked to my aunt about our trip. She’d made a big dinner so Tareq stayed and ate with us. He and Jared bonded over sports and car talk. My family approved of him. My family liked him.

+++—+++

The rest of the week went by so quickly. Tareq started taking me to and from work. I didn’t ride the bus anymore. We hung out every night, but he didn’t do more than kiss me.

He took us all out to dinner one last time the night before we were to leave for Satra. We went to the fancy restaurant up on the hill where aunt Hilda said her husband had proposed to her. Tareq gave her phone numbers where I could be reached if she needed to contact me. He was so responsible.

The next morning he showed up early with a box of donuts for everyone. I was packed and ready. I hugged my aunt and cousin then went to say goodbye to Wes. He was jealous of my week off, but I promised to bring him a nice souvenir. And that was that.

The Tucson airport isn’t that big. The terminal has 9 gates, two restaurants, and a gift shop.

“What snack do you want for the trip? You will need a drink to sip so your ears don’t hurt for the take off.” He guided me into the gift shop that had a big cooler of drinks.

“Did you get souvenirs for your family?” I pointed towards a wall of southwestern crafts.

“They do not want these things.” Tareq laughed and shook his head.

“Get a nice shot glass for your dad… or these turquoise flip flops for your mom. Oh my god are we this tacky of a people?” I held up a bottle of multicolored sand in swirling designs.

“You are lovely people with ugly souvenirs. Focus on snacks, my boy.” Tareq led me away from the souvenirs.

“Oh! Squishy Cactus!” We rounded a corner and I saw a low shelf of stuffed animals. In the middle was a green pillow-friend that looked like a cactus with a smiling face. “So cute!” I picked it up and hugged it. It was soft as a marshmallow.

“You look so cute with it. We will buy squishy cactus. Is a must have item.” Tareq took it from me and walked towards the drinks.

“No. That’s a kid’s toy. I’m not a kid. It’s cute, but no.” I laughed and tried to take it back from him to return it to the shelf, but he held it out of my reach and beamed.

“You are my boy, and it makes you happy so I buy. Now choose your juice for the plane.” Tareq pointed to the cooler. He picked a bottle of water for himself and I grabbed an apple juice.

We went to our gate as people were beginning to line up. We were in the first group called and sat in the bigger seats up front. Tareq put his carry-on bag in the bin above our seats and his work bag under the seat in front of his. He handed me the squishy cactus to hold.

I hadn’t packed much because he said there would be clothes waiting for me there since the dress code was different and more formal than here in the US. He’d sent my sizes to a stylist in his country. I’d packed my backpack with things for the plane and had a few necessities in his larger suitcase that was checked.

“I have pill to help you sleep. Is long flight to Miami before we change to international plane.” He took a small bottle, one of the prescription ones I’d seen in his bathroom, from his workbag and handed me a green pill.

“I want to stay awake. I like to look out the window.” I turned to open the plastic shade that blocked out the desert sun.

“Yes, but when we arrive, it will be daytime and your sleep will be off. Is better to sleep now so you are awake to meet my family. My mother has event to welcome us. I don’t want you to be too sleepy… but maybe we save it for Miami.” He put the bottle away.

We took off pretty quickly and I tried my best to find my neighborhood. I finally found it when we did a loop around the city. My street looked empty, quiet. Soon enough we were out over empty desert that quickly lost my interest.

Luckily, Tareq had an iPad so we were able to watch one of the free movies the airline had. I watched about ten minutes of it before I asked for the sleeping pill.

“You will learn to trust me,” he laughed.

“Sorry.” I hugged squishy cactus and tried to look innocent.

“Is ok, my pretty one.” He gave me the pill along with my juice.

He turned off the movie and got out his laptop to work while I close the window shade and settled in for a nap.

I woke up as the pilot was announcing we would soon arrive in Miami. I opened the window shade to see green forests filled with brown water. That soon gave way to neighborhoods and highways as the plane lowered down from the clouds.

“Some day I take you to Miami. Is very fun city!” Tareq leaned over me and held me while we watched the scenery.

The plane landed and we got our things together. The airport was much larger and more chaotic than the one in Tucson. He held my hand as we went through the crowds and found a restaurant for lunch, or dinner since it was now evening in Florida.

“That flight was not bad!” I said after we ordered chicken fajitas.

“It’s good when you sleep. You are easy sleeper. The next one is 14 hours.” He sipped at the beer he’d ordered.

“14 hours on an airplane?” My eyes doubled in size.

“Well we could take camel, but they are not good swimmers.” He laughed.

“That’s so far! Can I get another pill?” I felt good after that first one.

“Later. You need to eat and we walk around. Maybe you find squishy palm tree to go with squishy cactus.” He pushed the basket of chips towards me.

Our food came quickly and we worked our way through the fajitas then went to explore the terminal. We tried to keep moving right up until it was time to go to our flight.

The seats on this plane were much better than the last one. They folded into beds and had screens that showed where the plane was and had a lot more movies to watch.

Tareq tried to push me towards the kids stuff, but there was an action film I’d missed when it came out last summer. He saw it was rated pg-13 and decided it looked ok.

We got to fold down the seats after take-off. I got into the movie while he went back to work. The flight attendant brought us snacks and juice.

After the movie ended, he let me have another of the pills, and I quickly fell asleep again.

I woke up hours later to find the cabin was dark and silent. Tareq was passed out next to me. I crawled over him to go pee and found the flight attendant manning a small cart with more snacks and drinks. He gave me a cup of water on my way back from the restroom.

I crawled back over Tareq and checked the map screen to see we still were only halfway there. The touchpad had some games so I did that for awhile.

Tareq woke up an hour later and we spent the rest of the flight talking and watching shows. The flight attendant came around with breakfast and then later gave us more drinks. We walked around the plane some, but it started to get busy as people woke up.

The pilot finally announced we would land. I felt like we’d been on this flight forever. We looked out the window to see the desert went right up against the coastline of a glimmering blue sea. Tareq pointed out landmarks as the plane started to descend.

We finally touched down and a few people started to clap. I raised my hands to clap since others were doing it, but Tareq shook his head and pulled my hand into his lap.

“Do we clap?” I asked.

“We do not,” he assured me with a chuckle.

“We are here!” I said excitedly as he guided me off the plane.

“We are not. This is Dubai. We take a short flight. 45 minutes and we finish.” Tareq nudged me into the terminal.

“No-my-god! I can’t do another flight, please!” I begged.

“I know, my heart. My country is much smaller, and everyone must pass through Dubai. We will be quick. I will tip the pilot to hurry.” Tareq led me through the terminal while keeping a hand on my shoulder.

4: Meeting Family

Dubai’s airport was much nicer than Miami and much more orderly. We walked down a long row of gates and then took a little train across the airport. 

He found a blue door with some white Arabic script and a pair of agents waiting at a booth in front of it. He addressed them in their language and showed them our documents before they let us inside.

The door opened to a room that looked like a restaurant. The agent led us to an open table and then gave Tareq a menu of sorts. There were lots of other men and a handful of women in the room. One wall of the restaurant was windows punctuated by a gate that led to a waiting airplane.

“This is the gate for the flight? That’s so cool!” I asked as Tareq studied the menu.

“Yes, is the shuttle to my country. This is closest world airport. It leaves in an hour. You should have food. You like hummus? Pita? Vegetables?” He ran his finger down the menu as a man in a uniform with a logo that matched the writing on the door came over.

“That all sounds good. Whatever you want.” I pulled out my phone and connected to the wifi.

I checked the texts from Wes and my aunt to let them know we were safe. Tareq addressed the waiter and pointed to the things he wanted.

Wes was working and sent a picture of him and Nisha goofing around. It looked like they were having fun without me, and I got a sudden sense of wishing I was there. 

Aunt Hilda was watching a show we’d started binging together. I told her I’d catch up on my own. I swiped through my social media and took a quick picture of me and Tareq to post. He looked so good in pictures and a part of me wanted to show my friends I was having fun too.

We worked our way through the meal he’d ordered and then got ready for our final flight. This last plane was very small with two seats on each side of the aisle. It was completely filled, but Tareq had two seats for us near the front. It was a quick flight and we soon touched down in his country.

We had to go through an immigration line, but no one asked me a single question or even addressed me. They accepted that Tareq was responsible for me. We moved through it quickly and then went to get our checked bag.

Tareq guided me outside where a man was waiting with a dark SUV. The man greeted us with a nod and then took the bags and loaded them into the back. Tareq opened the back door and helped me inside.

The driver took us onto a highway with jagged, desert mountains on one side and high-end towers that lined the white sandy beaches on the other. The sun was beginning to set. We drove towards the city then down a wide boulevard with towering palms until we arrived at a gated complex where the driver said something to two armed guards who slid open the gates.

“My neighborhood,” Tareq said with a wistful sigh.

“It’s beautiful.” I leaned over him to look out the window. 

We passed a neighborhood center that held stores and a restaurant as the boulevard curved towards the sea. We went through a series of increasingly narrowing streets until he turned into a cul-de-sac lined with high, white cement walls and lush tropical landscaping. The gate at the end began to open and the driver went through.

Tareq’s estate was a three level structure of glass and white stucco with a circle driveway that looped around a large fountain.

“You have peacocks! Oh they’re beautiful! I want to pet one!” I yelled with excitement.

“They are my mother’s prize pets. They are gentle and you can feed them, but they don’t like to be touched by anyone but her.” Tareq put his arm around me, his chest filling with pride to bring me to his home.

We pulled up to the front door which quickly opened. An older couple, most likely his parents, came out and waved with big smiles. I’m sure they’d missed their son and were happy to have him back safely. 

The driver pulled right up to them and his father opened Tareq’s door. They greeted us in Arabic as Tareq got out and hugged them. I tried to get out gracefully, but I had to awkwardly slide over and then I dropped squishy cactus on the floor of the car.

“Dylan, meet my parents,” he said after turning to assist me.

His father pulled me in for a hug and then his mother leaned in to kiss my cheeks. She said something to me, but it wasn’t in English. I looked at her with a confused smile unsure how to respond.

“He does not speak Arabic,” she said as if this was a distasteful fact.

Tareq answered her in their language and she quickly forced a smile.

“Welcome, Dylan. Is nice to have you here and finally meet you.” She studied me with critical eyes, but kept the smile on her lips.

Mr. Zakar put a hand on Tareq’s shoulder and began speaking in their language as he turned his son away from me and back towards the house.

“Come, Dylan. I will put you in our room for rest before dinner.” Tareq turned back for me and offered his hand. I grabbed squishy cactus and let Tareq lead me towards the house.

Tareq walked me through the house which looked more like a resort. There was a grand sitting room, a large living room, a courtyard with blue and white tiles surrounding a central garden. We walked towards a back house across the courtyard.

“This is my home. It will be ours should you decide to stay. I must go to business with my father. You should rest. Here is tv remote, I open curtains.” Tareq hit a button on the wall and the massive blue drapes began to slide open to reveal a view of the open beach and glittering sea illuminated by the last bits of daylight.

“It’s beautiful!” I set squishy cactus down on the long leather couch in the living room.

Tareq kissed my cheek then dashed out to find his father. His small house was one big open space decorated in dark blues and shining silvers. There was a kitchen area and small dining table on one side, a living area in the center, and the bed towards the back. Off the living room was one door that led to a huge bathroom with closet and laundry.

His space was decorated with art and personal pictures that showed his adventures from around the world. He had a lot of friends and family pictures that all pointed to a happy, privileged life.

A worker came in with our luggage and began to sort through things without even looking at me. I went to the couch and flipped through the menu with hundreds of channels from around the world. I settled on a nature show that was in Arabic because the voice sounded like Tareq’s.

I hugged squishy cactus and watched the show, but soon I felt like my nipples were tingling. I put a hand under my t-shirt. They were warm and hard. They never felt this sensitive. It was strange. The worker had left and I was alone there so I started to play with them. I twisted my nipples gently and it relieved the strange buzzing. As soon as I took my hand off of them, though, the feeling returned.

I went to the bathroom and took off my shirt. My nipples were hard, but didn’t look agitated. They were the normal pink peaks on my pale chest. I got closer to the mirror and noticed the tips were bigger than usual. Maybe I’d had an allergic reaction to something in our trip.

“Dylan. You are ok?” Tareq popped his head in the door right as I was squeezing my nipples. I froze in embarrassment.

“Oh god! Um! Yeah I’m good.” I dropped my hands from my chest as my face turned bright red.

“You hurt? They are sore?” He came close to look.

“No! I mean… I’m such a freak! They’re just… Nevermind. It ’s going to sound weird. Sorry.” I hung my head.

“Let me see.” He came up behind me and put his hands into my armpits. He lifted me up and turned me to sit on the counter.

“Ahh I think you wear same shirt for very long flight and the nipples agitate. It happen when I work out too long with shirt on. They call this the runner nipples. Is common. Is ok. I put something.” He went to his closet.

They weren’t sore, they felt very good at his touch and I wanted more. He came back out with a stretchy satin band. He told me to put my arms up then he slipped the band down over my head to my chest. It wrapped my pecs tightly and felt cool. It gave my nipples the pressure they needed.

“All better, my heart?” He kissed my cheek and rubbed my back.

“That’s better… I’m sorry. My body is really weird sometimes.” I laid my head on his shoulder.

“Your body is beautiful. You never need to be ashamed to tell me how you feel. I am your protector here. You will tell me everything with no shame.” He kissed my neck and slid his hand down to cup my bottom.

We got dressed for dinner. The stylist had left packaged outfits for me in hanging bags and there were two drawers with clothes in my size for sleep, leisure, and necessities. 

I put on a pair of light brown pants with a green sweater, black socks, and dress shoes. Everything was thin and light to accommodate the desert heat.

+++—+++

The dining room was filled with the adults in his family while a side room held a group of kids from very young to nearly my age. Tareq was the youngest of five and the only one not yet married.

He had one sister who was there with her wife, a strong Nordic looking woman. They sat between two opposite-sex couples; his brothers who had found wives from their culture.

Sitting on our side of the table was his oldest brother, Ahmad. He was married to a lighter, Italian man, Luca. 

I was the youngest and apparently the only one who didn’t speak Arabic. I would need to start learning it if things worked out between us. I couldn’t expect everyone to keep translating for me.

Everyone watched me closely as if I didn’t belong there. They were polite, but no one switched to English for my benefit except to greet me. Maybe they sensed Tareq was too good for me and I wouldn’t be around for long.

Tareq was so different around his family. He seemed younger, less confident, and more focused on me. He pointed out the different foods on my plate and explained what they were. He urged me to try everything and eat more. 

Normally, he ate his food and I ate mine. I think he felt bad that I couldn’t understand the conversation and didn’t want me to feel left out. He wanted me to be happy here. I didn’t want him thinking of me as needy so I turned to Luca whose English seemed proficient when he greeted me.

“You’re from Italy?” I asked him as Tareq watched.

“I am. But I’ve lived here for ten years or so. This is home now. You will enjoy it here. It is a comfortable place to live.” Luca smiled and took a sip of his wine. He was a very well-pampered man, probably close to 40, with the style and elegance of an upper-income life.

“It’s beautiful! The flight is crazy long though. I see why Tareq wants us to stay longer than a week.” I shrugged.

“A week is definitely too short. You will not want to leave. Life is perfect here. I will take you out one day when Tareq is working. There is much to see.” Luca winked at me.

“I would love that! Thank you.” I made a new friend. I turned and caught his mother looking at me. She seemed displeased and I quickly looked away. 

The rest of the table was engaged in a debate about something, we weren’t the focus. Tareq urged me to finish my plate so I got back to work on that. 

We got through the dinner and Tareq asked for our excusal. At least I think that’s what he did. It was in Arabic. But he nudged my elbow to get me to stand up.

“Thank you all for dinner. It was really good.” I said when we stood.

“Get some rest.” Tareq’s father nodded his approval at me and then at Tareq. He seemed like a kind man, but not interested in his son’s dating ventures.

Tareq took my hand and pulled us from the group. He led us back to his little house near the beach and closed up the drapes before locking the door.

“They seem nice! Was I ok? Do you think they liked me? Luca seems cool.” I paced around. I felt like I could go and run a 10k with all the nervous energy.

“Yes of course. Everyone likes you. They are surprise that I bring you here. It show them I have serious intentions. They know you will be mine.” Tareq pulled me towards the bathroom.

“It is time for rest. We will get clean and dress for bed, then you can watch movie until you are sleepy.” Tareq nudged me towards the closet.

5: Becoming his Boy

“I don’t think I can sleep. We should go for a run or… Oh! A late-night swim! The ocean looks so pretty. Lets do that!” I turned towards him with excitement.

“It is late, and we have long flight. I do not sleep well on airplanes. Is ok we have early night and tomorrow we can be crazy with the fun. Come, I make a bath for you and I want inspect your nipples. I hope they are better now?” He urged me to get undressed.

He went to check a knock on his door as I slid off my clothes except for my briefs. I pulled the band from my chest and my nipples started to buzz again. I started to touch them, but he came back into the bathroom carrying a tray with jars.

“They still hurt? I look. I can find cream to help the healing.” He set the tray of bath things down on the counter and went to turn on the hot water. There was an oversized tub next to a large shower.

“They definitely don’t hurt. They just kind of have this tingly feeling like they need to be touched and played with. They’re so sensitive. They’ve never felt like that. Maybe I’m allergic to something.” I couldn’t quite describe it.

“Hmm. They are puffy and pointy but no red. I see only your pink perfection.” He put his hands on my pecs and tried to cup them like breasts, but I don’t have a lot going on there. He twisted them with his fingers very gently.

“Ahh! Uh huh. That feels crazy good.” I gasped. My briefs started to tent. His expert touch made my stomach flutter.

“My baby is sensitive. You like daddy plays with your nipples?” He’d never referred to himself as daddy. That was new. His voice dropped an octave and sent shivers down to my core. He was changing, and I kind of liked it. 

“Yes. Oh yeah. That feels so good. Don’t stop.” I leaned back against the counter.

“I put you into the tub. Ok? You will feel better with soothing oils.” He put his hand on me and guided me towards the bath.

It was filling with steaming water that felt good against the cold room. He brought over the tray of things and began to pour them into the water.

“You can take off the briefs. Is ok. No one is here but us.” He didn’t look up from the bath as he watched the additions swirl around the the water. 

He added a handful of rose petals and some tiny pink chrystals while I stood there working up the nerve to get completely naked.

“Baby? You hear me? Is ready… You worry I see you naked?” Tareq looked at me with surprise.

I nodded and bit my lip. As much as I wanted to see him naked, I worried about going first. What if he didn’t like what he saw? What if he laughed or rejected me?

“You have same part I have. Your size is not important to me. Every piece of you is beautiful. You want I leave you?” He yawned and his eyes got a little teary from sleep.

He was so tired and just trying to make me feel better and ready for sleep. I knew he was eager to get to bed after our long journey. I was being a baby. 

“No, it’s fine. I’m being silly. Do you think I could have another of those pills? It’ll help calm me down.” I felt bad for asking, but they gave me the best sleep and I wanted to get on his schedule.

“Ok. You get in tub and I will bring. The water is ready.” Tareq got to his feet and gave me a kiss on the cheek before leaving the bathroom.

I peeled off my briefs and stepped into the bath. The water was warm but not too hot and the scent of whatever he’d put in there smelled so good. I sat down and started to clean myself. Luckily, the water was colored enough to shield my lower half and protect my modesty.

“Here, my boy. I take quick shower while you bathe.” He set a small dish with the pill and a glass of water on the edge of the bath.

He quickly got out of his clothes, and tossed them along with mine in the corner of the bathroom. I started to look away, but he was suddenly not shy about his nudity with me. It was another change from the reserved, conservative guy he’d been back in Arizona. Maybe things were moving forward. Maybe he did like me. 

He pushed off his underwear, freeing the thick cock I’d suspected he had. It was definitely something to be proud of. I quickly looked up to his face which was watching my reaction with a smirk.

“Is ok for you? Is big enough to give you pleasure?” he asked as he raised his arms to stretch, pushing his cock out towards me.

I licked my lips and nodded. “Yes, sir.” I grabbed the water and quickly downed the pill.

“I am sir? Soon I will be daddy?” he asked, but it sounded more like a command.

“That is your preferred pet name?” I grabbed the soap and started to wash my arms.

“Is a title I will earn. I will take care of my angel-boy. I protect him and make sure he has happy life. You will never have worry for things.” Tareq came over and leaned down to kiss my forehead before heading into the shower.

I watched him clean himself in the shower until the glass started to fog up. I quickly washed what I needed to, then laid back and yawned as the pill began to take effect. I started to feel the same warm buzz that I’d felt on my nipples, but this time it was down between my legs. My cock was rock hard from watching him, but the buzz was lower.

I reached down to soap up between my legs and got a sudden shock of pleasure when I grazed over my hole. It tingled and pulsed. 

“Woah! Oh my god.” I yelled as my body jerked. The shower turned off.

“What, baby? You are injure yourself?” Tareq poked his head out with a look of concern.

“No. Nothing. Sorry. I’m fine.” I reached down and put my finger to my hole again. It was pulsing and I felt my eyes flutter as my lips formed a wide circle.

“You are ok? What happens?” Tareq came out of the shower and walked to me.

“It’s stupid. Nothing. I’m fine.” I shook my head to allay his concerns, but my hand was drawn back down. I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t fight it.

“You have problem there? Let me look.” He came over and kneel beside the tub. His wet, hulking frame made me feel a greater need to touch my hole. I didn’t know what was happening, but I needed him.

“It feels weird down there… inside my butt.” I sounded weak.

“You need toilet? I help you?” He looked concerned.

“No. It’s not like that. It just feels like it needs to be touched. What’s happening to me?” I looked up with desperate eyes.

“I come in the tub with you. Yes? I will inspect things. There is no need for shame with me. You will learn to trust.” Tareq scooted me forward then climbed in behind me. He brought me back between his legs. I laid back against his chest as he wrapped his cage of muscles around me.

“Let me touch? Is ok?” He rubbed a hand down my stomach, but waited for approval.

“Yes please.” I whimpered as his hand rubbed over my hard cock and parted my thighs.

“Here feels good?” He pushed a finger to my hole and sent shivers through me.

“Here feels very good. Don’t stop.” I nodded. I turned my face to the side and lipped at his right nipple.

“Your pleasure come from here. When you meet the man who is to be your mate. Your body shows your need. You need me, my boy.” He pushed a finger inside me as his other hand rubbed my chest, tweaking my sensitive nipples.

“Let me in, my heart. I know how to give what your body calls for.” He worked a second finger inside me, pushing at the ring and rubbing the walls.

“Oh my god that’s a wow.” My body started to twist and jerk under his hold. He knew what he was doing in there.

“My perfect boy. Look how your body react to the touch of its owner. You are mine, yes?” He started to pump my hole with his fingers.

It felt like one long orgasm and my cock was pulsing without even touching it. I reached my hands up and gripped his arm that was playing with my nipples.

“Yes, oh yes. I’m yours. Please don’t stop.” I felt so out of body, like every nerve was being stimulated. The pleasure was intense and my vision went blurry.

“Daddy knows what your body needs. Look how hard you are, but the pleasure comes from your hole. I feel it squeeze my fingers. You need me inside you. You need what daddy can give.” Tareq was pistoning my hole with his thick fingers, working every spot I had.

“Yes, sir. Fuck your boy. Please, sir.” I begged through ragged breath. My cock was on the edge and ready to fire, but I was so focused on my ass. It pulsed at his touch and begged for more.

“You are mine.” He said this in that deep growl and it sent me over the edge. My cock started to fire off. My body twisted and writhed. I’d never cum so hard. I’d never felt that good.

“There you go. That’s my boy. That’s my good boy. Let daddy inside.” He kissed my neck and bit softly at my left earlobe as I jerked and whined under his touch. He kept ramming his fingers inside me until the last of my seed fired out and hit my cheek.

“My beautiful one. I love you so much. You are so perfect,” he whispered against my ear. I laid back against his chest in exhaustion.

“Thank you. Oh wow. Thank you.” I gasped for air in his hold. He slowed his fingers and held me.

“Now you are sleepy?” He asked with pride.

“Uh huh. Yes.” I closed my eyes. My body was spent.

We laid there for a while. He finished cleaning me and kissed my neck and shoulders. The buzzing in my hole was gone. He’d satisfied my need.

He helped me out of the tub and dried me off with a big towel. I dressed in a pair of stretchy satin briefs he chose for me along with pajama pants and a long sleeve t-shirt. Both were made of a super soft material. He carried me to his bed and I slept half on his chest while he had one arm around my back and the other cupping my bottom. 

I got the best night of sleep there in his arms, my head resting agains this heartbeat. I was his boy now, things had changed.

6: I Need It

“Dylan. My boy need to wake,” Tareq woke me by rubbing my back. I was hugging squishy cactus and laying on my stomach. “The breakfast is coming. You sleep a long time.”

“I slept too long? I was wiped out.” I yawned and turned over onto my back.

“You have big night. Maybe tonight is bigger?” He wagged his eyebrows and smiled with pride at how he’d made me feel.

“It still feels good down there.” I admitted with a blush. “You do good work.”

He helped me out of bed and I went to the bathroom to get dressed for the day. He’d set out a pair of jeans and long-sleeved t-shirt for me. I washed my face and put the clothes on.

We had breakfast together at the small dining table. The workers had brought in an array of food. Tareq sipped his coffee while reading news on his iPad. I was feeling so hungry. I wanted to eat everything, but I also didn’t want to look like a total pig in front of him.

Tareq said he had to run for a quick meeting but would be back in 2 hours.

“What should I do? Oh the beach! I’ll go for a walk.” The air was thick with morning clouds, but I liked a good nature walk.

“No. It is not acceptable for a boy to be out on his own. The beach is not public here, and the other owners don’t know you.” He shook his head.

“Maybe Luca wants to go out.” I offered.

“Please. You will wait for me here. I will return the minute I can. There is television.” That seemed to be Tareq’s preferred activity for me.

“Sure. No worries. TV is good.” I could sit still for a bit.

He dressed in a nice suit while I found an Arabic kid’s show and hoped it would teach me some words. He nodded in approval at my choice as he got his bag to leave.

I started to flip channels for the first hour, but then I got bored. I went and laid on the bed remembering how he’d made me feel the night before. It was the most intense sensations followed by the best night of sleep I’d had since before my parents died.

It was more than the sexual pleasure though. He released feelings I didn’t know I was holding on to. I felt like I’d put down the years of failure and grief, confusion and aimlessness. Tareq made me feel whole. He was healing me. 

I laid back and started to slide my hand down there. I didn’t feel the buzzing I’d felt last night. I felt echoes of it though. It was still there.

I wondered what was causing all of the new sensations, even before Tareq touched me. Maybe it was an allergy to something, but allergies usually hurt. This was the opposite.

It was the pill. It had to be. A simple sleeping pill had my body going nuts. I needed to try out another one to be sure.

I went to the bathroom and looked in his drawers and cabinets. He didn’t have a lot of things. He was somewhat minimalist except for hair and skin products.

I remembered that he’d left the bathroom to get one. I went to the kitchen, but there was only snacks and utensils. He likely never cooked a single meal there.

There wasn’t much left to search in the room. His bedside table held lube, tissues, a few pens, and a notebook. I looked in the notebook, but all his notes were in Arabic.

The lower drawer had files. I didn’t expect to find pills there. Plus, if I did find them there then that meant he’d hidden them and he wouldn’t be happy with my snooping.

I needed to sit still like he’d said and just wait for him to come back. I went back to the couch and turned to the TV when I noticed something on his bookshelf. He had a silver box with some interesting symbols. There was an eye floating above a pack of lions. I think pride of lions is the correct term.

I went to open the box and there were three pill bottles. The first was red tablets, but the second was the green pills. I’d found them! I didn’t look at the third bottle. 

The only problem is that he’d be home soon and he’d definitely notice if I’d taken one of the pills. I was such a fuck up. What was I doing? This beautiful man loved me and I was digging through his things looking for pills. I was acting like some addict. He’d dump my ass for sure.

I put them back on the shelf and decided to go lie down on the bed. I took off my jeans and got under the covers. I pulled them up over my head like a little cave. I just needed to wait here and he would be home and I could somehow request one. He seemed pretty free with them.

I tried to nap, but I wasn’t tired. I kept thinking about his fingers inside me and how good he made me feel. I needed his cock next. I wanted to take his seed, to have him inside me.

He’d said he wanted a life with me. We could get married and have kids that looked like little versions of him. I wanted that. I wanted his promise. I couldn’t fuck this up.

I heard a keypad outside and then the door opened. I peaked out to see Tareq coming back wearing the nice suit he’d put on this morning. He was a little sweaty from the hot desert sun. He looked over at me as I poked my head out.

His face lit up and he came over towards the bed. I got out and kissed him.

“You went back to sleep? You are feeling ok?” He set down his work bag and loosened his tie before deciding to take it off entirely.

“I was thinking about last night. I’ve never felt like that. I think it was that pill. Like maybe a side effect from it. I think we should try another one.” I paced around while he unbuttoned his shirt.

“I don’t know, baby… I don’t want you grow addiction with them. Is not the only way we enjoy the sex. I can give you pleasure without this. I am capable man of talents.” Tareq stepped out of his pants as he eyed me with concern.

“You’re right. I just wanted to try one more to see for sure. Do you have more?” I tried to cover that I’d dug through his place searching for them.

“I do. Let’s go workout and have fun day. If you wish, we can try one after dinner. We have a birthday party for Akim, my nephew.” Tareq headed for the closet. I followed him.

We changed into gym shorts and t-shirts. His stylist had gotten my size right and there were even a new pair of running shoes. This was a lot for a one week visit.

We went through the large house which was quiet except for the workers cleaning and putting the already spotless home in order. We made our way to the gym and I did the treadmill while he did a quick warm-up then worked through his weights routine. I did a four mile run and then cooled down while he finished.

“We can cool down in the ocean. The water here is not too cold.” Tareq said when he finished. He came over and turned off my machine then went to a cabinet and got oversized towels.

We stopped by the kitchen to grab water then headed down to the beach. It was so amazing. They had a little beach station just behind Tareq’s back house. We stopped there and he sprayed me down with sunblock. We left our socks and shoes there with our phones and watches. Tareq said it was fine to swim in our workout clothes for a few minutes. He peeled off his shirt, but said I should keep mine on since the sun was so intense here.

The water felt so good. It was crystal blue, so clear that I could see down to the white sand below. It felt so weird to have a world-class beach all to ourselves. There was literally no one.

“There’s walls going to the water?” I asked. I pointed in both directions where the long stretch of beach was sectioned off by large stucco walls that disappeared down into the water. There were about 20 large estates like Tareq’s lined up along this stretch, but no one else was out there.

“Is a private beach. There are public beaches, but most is private for homeowners or the resorts. My people prize our privacy.” He shrugged like this was normal.

We splashed around in the water. I’m not a great swimmer so I didn’t go out too far. He swam out and then back a few times. He was a strong swimmer and showed off for me with a few flips. I stayed in the water that was up to my waist. I do know how to swim, but I hadn’t been since I was a kid.

He swam right up to me and rose from the water with a big splash. I turned away and his hands found my hips. He pulled me against him and lifted me up.

“You are scared? Come with me and hold on. I protect you.” He put me against his chest and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He swam out deeper with me firmly in his arms. He kept one hand on my bottom as I held onto him. He seemed so natural in the water, like he was barely moving to keep us afloat.

“How does your hole feel?” he asked.

“It still feels good, not crazy like last night, but… I need you. I need all of it.” I begged.

“We go inside. I will look at it.” Tareq held me to his chest and made his way back to the shore. He carried me to our towels. We dried off and headed back to his house where he locked the door.

“Go to shower. I call for a health shake. We did not have lunch.” Tareq picked up his cell and began speaking in his language while I headed back to the shower.

I slipped out of my workout clothes. They were wet so I put them in the sink then tried to figure out his impossibly complex shower. There wasn’t a simple knob to turn like back home.

“Good news, my heart.” Tareq walked into the bathroom with a glass of water and the pills. “My farther and brother have gone to meet with the Sultan. The dinner is put for tomorrow.”

He got in the shower, gave me one of the pills and the glass of water, then started to strip off his wet clothes. I quickly downed it while he turned on the hot water. He took the glass from me when I’d finished and set it on a ledge. He pulled out the products he wanted and we began to wash each other.

We were just finishing up when the effects kicked in. I felt the buzzing, just like the night before. It started in my nipples, moved down to my bottom, and then spread out from there across my skin. I needed his touch and every brush of his arm, caress of his hand, nibble of his lips sent me right to the edge.

“You are warm,” he noted as he turned off the water. I pushed my body against his. He laughed like I was being silly. He put an arm around me and rubbed my back, sending shivers through me.

“I need it. Please.” I whimpered. Tareq went for towels and dried us off. When he thought I was good, he sent me to go lie down.

“Wait for me. I am fast,” he said.

I went to lie on his bed. I was naked and the soft blankets felt incredible on my glowing skin. My cock was rock hard and starting to leak precum.

“I need supplies to seed you properly.” Tareq came in with a small, rectangular box.

I scooted back against the pillows. I spread my legs and reached down to touch my hole, but he snapped his fingers and shook his head.

“You will wait. My boy waits for daddy’s touch.” Tareq pulled a small bottle out from the box.

I pulled my hand away and tried to cross my legs and fight the urge to play with it. I wanted to make him happy. I was ready to be his.

7: Mommy Issues

We woke up sometime in the night. I felt like I’d slept forever. My stomach felt full even though I hadn’t eaten anything since the protein shake after our workout. Tareq was still underneath me. His cock, soft but full, was still filling my hole.

I looked up his chest to see he was awake; laid back against the pillows and swiping on his phone. He caught my eye and offered a smile.

“I could not wake you. You look so beautiful with my seed inside you.” He reached down and pet my hair. “How am I so lucky to have the angel in my bed?”

“That was crazy good.” I yawned then nestled back in against his chest.

“We will eat. The night chef is awake. I will text for food. What do you wish to eat?” Tareq swiped around on his phone.

“I’m good. I think you filled me up from the inside.” I was kidding, but it really did feel like that.

“No, we need food. I will order protein. We need to replenish.” Tareq leaned his head down to kiss my forehead.

He ordered the food then carried me off to the bathroom. We showered and ate together at his small table near the kitchen.

It was 5 in the morning and Tareq had a meeting at 10. We decided to go for a run down the beach. We put on workout clothes and ran down to the moonlit beach. There was a soft, winding path made of a bouncy red rubber where the grass met the sand. It was a perfect exercise trail. We ran to one wall on the beach and then turned and ran to the other.

We worked up a sweat then collapsed on the sand to watch the sun rise. He pulled me against his chest and held me while the light crept over the water and warmed our skin.

“This can be no more perfect. My baby is in my home. I can ask for no better.” He kissed my hair and we laid there until the sunlight forced us back indoors.

We got cleaned up then went to have breakfast with his parents. We ate in a smaller dining room on the upper floor. It was glass on three sides and tinted so we could enjoy the morning sun without feeling its effects.

“My Tareq tells us you are only here for a short time,” his father said as the worker filled his coffee cup.

“I have my job to get back to. It’s so beautiful here. It’s like a resort.” I dug into the fruit bowl a worker had set in front of me.

“I hope we can change your mind. My Tareq is happy to have you. It’s been a long time since I see him this focused. It is good he has a mate to keep him focused on the future.” He offered me the first genuine smile I’d seen from him.

“I am going shopping this afternoon. You will come with me, We should do a fitting for your tuxedo for the formal.” His mother barely looked up from her iPad when she said this.

“Yes. I have my meeting. I will meet up with you both for lunch afterwards. La Palmiere on the Corniche. Dylan will like their french fries.” Tareq patted my hair.

We finished breakfast then I went to brush my teeth while Tareq dressed for his meeting. He walked me to the front of the house to wait for his mom while he left for work.

Mrs. Zakar was on the phone when she walked out. She snapped her fingers as she passed me and I followed her out to the waiting car.

She was dressed for the summer look of a Parisian runway and carried herself with importance. I followed her into the back of a waiting town car and the driver whisked us off towards the city.

She stayed on her phone call as the driver took us past the skyscrapers and down into a shopping street that opened to the beach. It was lined with expensive stores and towering palms. Every car was exotic and every surface was clean and shiny. I felt very underdressed.

“Come,” she said as she finished her call. The driver opened her door and I crawled out behind her.

Even before we could get halfway to the door, a man ina suit came out to greet her. He took her purse then opened the door for us and followed in behind me.

They spoke in Arabic. He led us upstairs to a private sitting room with mirrors and racks of clothing. Windows on one side looked out over the beach which was quickly filling with tourists. We sat on a plush red couch while workers came in and out with products to show Mrs. Zakar.

One worker gave me a glass of water then handed her a flute of champagne. She barely looked at the items they showed her, and got caught up in another phone call; pointing with a smile or a scowl to indicate her selections.

I wasn’t sure why I was there until a rack of tuxedos came in. She looked my shoulder and pointed me towards them. I went over to the rack and picked through them but they all looked the same.

I held one up and immediately earned a scowl. The next three weren’t much better. Exasperated, she snapped her fingers and said something to the shop workers. A man came over and picked through the rack until he found one that earned a half smile from her.

“He’s too small for this look.” She said when I came back out. She wasn’t talking to me, but her use of English was meant to include me.

“If we take it in here and here, it should add some angles. He is a petit boy.” The stylist echoed her sentiment.

“My son like the weaker ones. You should see the beautiful men who chase him. Half the models at the show in Milan were after him last spring, but he likes what he likes.” She frowned. Again, she could have saved her insults for Arabic. I was meant to hear this.

I kept quiet. I didn’t have a response. She was right. Tareq was the pinnacle of male perfection with the class and money to get any guy he wanted.

They switched back over to Arabic and the stylist pulled at the jacket indicating he wanted me to take it off. I went back to the dressing room to put on my clothes. I got dressed and then just sat there until his mother came back and gave me a curious look.

“It’s time for lunch. You fell asleep?” She looked at me with curiosity.

“I’m good. Let’s go.” I stood and followed her out to the car where workers were piling boxes into the trunk.

I stayed silent as the driver took us down the coast. Mrs. Zakar swiped around on her phone without addressing me. We pulled off on a side road then stopped at the entrance to a large building with random palm trees painted in a scatter on the white stucco.

A man came out to open the car door and I followed silently into the restaurant. Tareq was at a table in a private room above the main floor. He was staring at his phone when we came in.

He rose to greet us. He gave his mother kisses on both cheeks then did the same to me before putting back and looking at me with curiosity.

“He is upset. You did not like the clothes?” Tareq asked.

His mother just shrugged.

“I’m fine. Just tired.” I covered.

He nodded and seemed to accept my explanation. We sat down and they exchanged pleasantries in their language. I looked at the menu, but it was in French and Arabic. For some reason, that was the last straw. I closed the menu and sighed.

“Where is the restroom?” I asked Tareq.

“You do not feel well? You look sick. I go with you?” He rose.

“No, please. Order me a water? I can’t read the menu so just pick something for me, please.” I tried to look happy. I went back towards the front to find the restroom.

“His mom was a total bitch to me. She said he could do better,” I texted Wes as I walked. I knew it was the middle of the night back in Tucson, but Wes was usually up late.

“I hate her. Are they really that rich? Steal some shit to bring back!” Wes wrote back.

“They are super rich, but I don’t want any of it. She said he has much better looking guys throwing themselves at him and he could do better than me. I know she’s right. This was stupid to come here.” I went to pee then washed my hands.

“Just a few more days, Dyl. Don’t waste it feeling bad. Hunter asked about you! He saw your post from the flight. I think he’s jealous! Post some crazy hot pics of you having fun. Then he’ll be all over you when you get back here.” Wes had the right idea.

I was taking this whole thing way too seriously. Of course Tareq’s family would hate me and soon he wouldn’t want me. This was just a vacation. Real life was waiting back home for me. Hunter wasn’t bad either. We’d met in 10th grade and he was a total boy scout. He’d help me get over this thing with Tareq.

“Dylan [Deee-lahn],” Tareq’s voice called from behind me. I realized I’d been in the bathroom too long. He’d come to check on me.

I apologized for getting lost in texting. We went back out to the table and ate our lunch. I didn’t bring up the drama with his mom. I was going to enjoy my time here. It wasn’t that serious.

+++–+++

The rest of lunch was fine, but Tareq had to go back to work afterwards. He paid the bill and left me there with his mother who was still sipping a glass of wine. I’d hoped he’d be the one to take me back to the house.

“You fly home on Saturday?” she asked as if making conversation.

“I do. It’s so far. I’ve never been away from home like this. I mean we went to San Diego for the beach a lot, but that’s not too far.” I took a big sip of my water.

“And what next? Tareq has his life here and his business.” She eyed me with suspicion.

“He does. I have my life back home and my job and family. His life is here and mine is there.” I was letting her know this was the end of the road for me and Tareq.

“Well I hope you enjoy your time here.” She raised her glass then finished it in one gulp.

The drive home was the same as the drive there. She preferred her phone to me. I stared out the windows at the beautiful modern city with sleek highways and no litter or homeless people. This was definitely not my part of the world.

I went back to Tareq’s back house, but it was locked. I found a worker and he let me in. I watched tv on the couch until Tareq came home.

“How was your day?” he asked after kissing me. “I have much success today! I have surprise for you! We save it for dinner with my family.”

“I’m still full from lunch. Maybe we can go somewhere fun instead? Or just stay in and do more of what we did last night?” I perked up at his touch.

“We can not. My family will be here and of course they want to see you. They like you. Something is different with you. You feel well? There is sad in you.” He put his hand on my forehead.

“We woke up so early. I guess I’m tired.” I yawned.

“Do you want the pill again?” he offered.

I thought about it for a second. I actually didn’t. It had been fun, but I didn’t feel the craving for it that I had before. I shook my head.

Tareq changed out of his suit and we put on clothes for napping. We curled up together in his bed and he put on a movie for me to watch while he caught up with work on his laptop. It felt really nice to be in his arms, but I reminded myself that I was going home soon.

It had been fun, but I couldn’t get used to this. This was temporary. Everyone seemed to understand that but us.

8: Here We Go

“It is time,” Tareq said when the last of his siblings took their seats at the table for dinner.

“Ok everyone. Please for quiet. Today I finish big project for work and for myself.” Tareq rose with his glass of wine and his family got quiet.

“For work, I finish the final leasing for the resort spaces. We have restaurants and services all set for the projects in Arizona. I get the spa for both and the restaurants complete. We are set once construction is complete.” Tareq beamed and earned proud looks from both of his parents.

“And the personal project?” His mother raised an eyebrow. She was likely used to knowing things before the others were told.

“Yes. Is most important. You know I have trouble getting the coffee shop spaces for both projects because the Starbucks want major concessions. So I contact the franchise owner of the Muffin Manor where my baby work.” Tareq leaned down and kissed my head.

“You what?” I looked up in surprise.

“He is interested when I offer him to open two new franchise location in our projects. Both resorts will have a new Muffin Manor at half the cost Starbucks wants! Is huge win! The project manager is pleased.” Tareq was grinning ear to ear.

“You talked to Mr. Shenley?” I’d only met him a few times when he came in to check on things.

“Yes and I tell him you are very excited about the company. He says you are his best worker. He agrees to extend your time off for one month with job protection. So you do not need to return home so soon! And your job is safe! You have no worries and stay here with us! Is extra bonus!” Tareq was so excited.

“A month?” I looked over to see his mom staring flaming darts in my direction.

“A month with my boy. Will give you time to stay and know my family, my people, my culture.” Tareq read my face and his smile faded.

“A month.” I repeated. I liked him so much. I loved him, in fact. But I knew things couldn’t work out between us. His mom was right. My home was not here.

“A month… my sweet boy. You are happy for this news, yes?” He looked at me with so much expectation that I forced a smile.

“Yeah, yes of course.” I looked over at his mother and shrugged helplessly.

“My dear. He has his family and friends in Arizona. He is too young to be away from them for so long. He’s just a boy and clearly misses home.” His mother jumped in.

“We can invite them. Dylan is good for Tareq. He has been focused and stable. He was even on time for his meetings today and closed out two projects. He has chosen a boy to care for, and I approve.” Tareq’s father interjected.

“Of course, dear. I am only thinking of the boy’s well being.” She added more in Arabic. I guess she didn’t dare cross her husband.

“Yes. We will plan fun things. It will be great for all.” Tareq sat back down and kissed my cheek then put his arm around me.

The rest of the dinner was in Arabic. I ate some of what was on my plate, but I had too much going on in my head. His siblings made no attempts to address me.

We got back to his space in the back house when I decided we needed to talk about this.

“You can’t work special deals with my boss like that. Everyone at work will have to cover those shifts and they’ll be mad that I get to just come back like nothing happened.” I told him when he closed the door.

“Of course you can. Is perk of being my boy. You are not happy to stay here?” Tareq looked at me with sad eyes.

“Of course I want to be with you, but I’m a little home sick. No one wants me here but you. This isn’t going to work out. You know that.” As soon as the words left my lips I regretted them.

“You love me. I love you. We had sex and you seem like is fun time for you, no? Why can you say this isn’t going to work out? You are not happy with me?” Tareq came to me and put his hands on my arms to hold me in front of him.

“I am very happy with you. You’re an extremely beautiful man and so loving and kind. You are way too good for me. Your mother even said so. I promised her I’d leave this weekend. I can’t keep pretending here or it’s going to be even worse when you finally figure out what everyone else can see.” I let it all out.

“My mother tells you this? You must misunderstand. Her English is as bad as mine. She like you very much. You misunderstand her. And everyone else like you are here. You are more than good enough for me. You are my baby.” He looked at me with pleading eyes.

“I don’t want to… oh my god!” I got a sudden hit of major nausea and ran for the bathroom. I made it to the toilet and vomited everything I’d eaten that day.

“Baby!” Tareq was right behind me as I knelt on the floor.

“No! Gross! Please go. This is not how you see me.” I pushed him away after I finished. I sat back on my heels and gasped for air.

“My love. You are sick. You make yourself sick with worry. Of course I am here. I take care for you.” He went and grabbed a hand towel then ran it under the hot water before coming back to clean me off.

“This sucks…” I started crying as he wiped my mouth and rubbed my back. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t talk, my love. It is ok. I am here. I love you, Dylan. You are my mate. I will always be here for you feel better.” Tareq got behind me on the cold tile floor.

He sat down and pulled me back between his legs. I rested on his chest and held the towel to my lips. His arms held me tight and rubbed my stomach. He rested his chin on my shoulder and kissed my neck.

“I love you, little one. I mean this for life. I do not play with your heart. My family will get to know you and see the beautiful one I have chosen. My heart is set. It hurt that you do not trust this.” He held me until I felt better then helped me up to brush my teeth and get ready for bed.

I didn’t say much after that. I was horrified and confused and feeling really awful about myself.

We got into bed and watched funny videos on his iPad until I fell asleep on his chest. He held me protectively and kept checking my forehead for a temperature.

+++—+++

The next morning I felt better, at least until we ate breakfast. I didn’t keep it down for long and we were once again on the bathroom floor with a wet hand towel. I’m sure the cleaning staff would hate me worse than his mother.

“You will go to the doctor tomorrow if not feel better. I can not send you home like this,” he said. We hadn’t talked about changing the travel arrangements.

I wanted to stay with him, of course, but I didn’t know what to do and my stomach was killing me. It felt like this rumbling inside me. Tareq had them bring me some calming tea and toasted flat bread. I ate a few bites of it, but the tea helped the most. It sent a coat of warmth right through my core. He stayed in bed with me, working from his laptop and phone. His father insisted he take off until I was better.

By the afternoon, I was feeling almost back to normal. We took a walk on the beach before going to dinner with his parents. We met up with them in a living room close to the dining room in the main house.

“You look so pale. My poor boy. We shall have the doctor come tonight. He need a checkup.” Mr. Zakar pulled me in for a hug and inspected me.

“I’m sure his own doctor would be better. We should fly him home to get proper medical care,” Mrs. Zakar ried to look sympathetic.

“We can not send him on a plane like this!” Mr. Zakar shot back harshly.

I looked at Tareq and something seemed to click in his brain. He looked at his mom and read her displeasure.

“My boy will not leave my home until he is well again. I am taking him to the clinic in the morning. I will handle things.” Tareq’s voice had a harsher edge than I would have expected.

“Of course! Only the best. He will be cared for like my own children,” his mother sang. His father put his hand across her back and nodded approval. I quickly lowered my eyes before I could catch her wrath.

“We should eat. I feel better. I’m sure it was nothing.” I kept my eyes down.

We went to the dining room and the workers brought in plates of food. I did my best to eat a lot and look healthy. They tried to include me in the conversation since it was just the four of us,. They told me about Tareq’s childhood. But instead of embarrassing stories like my family would tell, they had stories of his sports wins, academic trophies, and everything else you’d expect from a golden boy’s perfect childhood.

I told them how I played soccer on a youth league until two of the team dads got us banned by punching each other and then attacking the referee who intervened. My dad decided we should try a less crazy sport. It was not a great story, and definitely not a good representation of my fellow Tucsonans. I got looks of shock from both of them.

“Tareq told me your parents pass away when you are young,” Mrs. Zakar dropped as we were beginning dessert.

“Your parents? Both of them? Oh,” Mr. Zakar looked at me with that exact face someone gets when first learning my parents died. “I am so sorry.”

“It was four years ago? He was so young. I can’t imagine my boys on their own at such a young age.” Mrs. Zakar reached across the table and put her hand on mine.

“His aunt live there and takes care of him. She is wonderful parent for him.” Tareq assured them.

“Just one parent? Well you have family here. You are home, my boy.” Mr. Zakar reached over and put a hand on my other hand to comfort me.

“You have finished your secondary school, yes? Not starting University?” His mother was trying every angle of attack.

“He is still very young, and has a great loss in his life. Do not ask these questions.” Mr. Zakar put a quick stop to her.

+++—+++

The next morning I woke up feeling different. My stomach didn’t hurt, but it felt like there was something in there. I was hungry, but also felt full. I crawled out from his warm hold and went to the bathroom. I took off my shirt and stared at my stomach from different angles. It looked fine, but felt full. There was no bruising or redness or anything weird. I stood there rubbing it with one hand.

“My love? You have the pain?” A sleepy Tareq appeared behind me in the mirror.

“Something is up. Maybe it’s the food here? I don’t know what’s going on.” I looked at him in the mirror as he came up behind me and put his arms around my waist.

“We have appointment soon. I trust this doctor to tell you what happens here.” He kissed the back of my neck and rubbed his hands in slow circles around my midsection.

We got dressed and headed through the main house. He stopped at his father’s office and they exchanged words in Arabic for a few minutes while I waited in the doorway.

“I hope you feel better, Dylan.” Mr. Zakar offered a sympathetic wave.

“Thank you, sir.” I nodded. I kept a hand on my stomach. It looked weird, but I couldn’t help it. It’s like it needed to be rubbed. I was turning into that Buddah statue at the entrance to Happy China where my parents used to eat every Sunday.

Tareq led me out to a car waiting in the driveway and opened the passenger door for me. He drove me out of his neighborhood and down into the city until we arrived at a shiny tower made of blue glass and white support bars. He parked in a garage underneath and came to open my door.

We took an elevator to the top floor and he checked in with a receptionist who quickly led us back to a waiting room that overlooked the mountains behind the city. I sat in a row of empty chairs while Tareq went to speak with the nurse.

The clinic was so fancy with wide, plush seats and buffet with coffee, bottles of water, and snacks. Along the walls there were pictures of happy families. In each photo, there was always two men and one baby. Eleven photos in all and all of them featured a variation on the same pairing. This place certainly did embrace the gays.

“What’s with all the pictures?” I asked Tareq when he came to sit beside me.

“Oh… Most of his patients are men who prefer men.” Tareq looked over a form on the clipboard the nurse had given him and began to write.

“Why do they all have babies?” I asked with a chuckle like I’d made a joke.

“Babies are cute. Everyone love babies. Do you have allergy to penicillin?” Tareq asked me.

“Nope. I don’t think so. I got all kinds of shots as a kid…. Um… Tareq? What kind of doctor is this?” I asked him that because just then a couple, two guys, walked in.

One of them had a very large belly but was otherwise in great shape. He had his hand on his stomach, rubbing the growth. I looked down at my own lap to see I was rubbing mine just the same.

9: The Procedure

“What kind of doctor is this? And what is going on with that dude over there?” I whispered and pointed towards the couple.

An older Arab man helped the younger Asian guy with the belly to sit in a seat and then went up to address the nurse. The younger guy had the most peaceful smile on his face as he looked down at his stomach and rubbed it gently.

“I explain when we go back. I need that the doctor make sure you are ok.” Tareq stood as the door opened and a nurse came out to nod at us.

“No. You tell me first. What is this?” I stayed in my seat. Something was up.

“Please.” Tareq knelt in front of me and put his hands on my knees. “This explain everything. You come with me, my love.”

I didn’t move. I stared him down, not sure what to do.

“I do not want to carry you, but I will. Is imperative the doctor see you. Please, my love.” Tareq leaned down to push his nose between my thighs. “Please.”

“Ok. Let’s go.” I looked up to see the nurse still waiting for us in the doorway.

The nurse took us back, weighed and measured me, and then put us into a smaller room with the usual doctor setup. I sat up on the paper-covered leather bench while Tareq paced around. He didn’t say a word. I didn’t either. We just stayed like that until a man popped his head into the room with a big smile.

“Hello! I am Dr. Rammat.” A dark man in a crisp white coat and dark suit came in and shook Tareq’s hand as he looked at me with that smile that said something big was happening.

“What’s happening to me? What is this place?” I was not here for greetings.

“You did not see the website?” The doctor looked at me with curiosity.

“He does not know any of this.” Tareq said without looking at me.

“Anything? But it’s started? You didn’t inform him?” The doctor’s face fell as his smile melted into anger.

“No one informed me of anything. What’s going on?” I looked between them, searching for answers.

“The short story is, you are likely pregnant. I will check of course, but you are having symptoms, and the pills are quite effective. The fail rate is very slim.” Dr. Rammat came over and put on his stethoscope to listen to me.

“No, seriously. Why am I here? I’m not pregnant. I’m a dude. I was born with male parts. It’s not possible.” I was getting pissed off at this weird situation.

“Yes. You are male. That’s why we needed the medication. You really should watch the video on the website. It will explain things.” The doctor moved to a screen on the wall and tapped it. 

He brought up a video showing two men sitting at a table with waves crashing over a beach behind them. The taller man had his arm around the smaller one. 

Tareq came and sat behind me on the bench while the video began to play:

“We wanted so much to have a baby that was ours. We had surrogates and egg donors, but the baby would be one of ours, not both. We thought that was our only option.” The picture expanded to show a small boy playing with blocks next to them.

“It was the miracle we never thought possible. We were lucky to find Dr. Sulemon and his clinic. We met a community of men in our position. We were able to meet with actual patients and see healthy, happy babies. To know my husband could not only help create our child, but also to carry him… A boy with both of our DNA. It was a miracle.” The second man said.

“The procedure was safe. We had a monitor at every step to tell us what was going on and help us through.” The first man laid his head on the second man’s shoulder.

“And best of all. We got our miracle boy and my husband’s body went back to normal afterwards.” The second man hugged the first one and then the video panned through pictures of the two of them holding their newborn baby and then the two of them shirtless on the beach with muscled bodies. It zoomed in on the first man’s stomach to show perfect skin.

“There were no scars from where they were able to take Taylor from my womb. The surgeon was an absolute artist and my abs definitely didn’t look this good before the pregnancy.” The first man voiced over pictures of him shirtless and doing yoga poses.

“We couldn’t have asked for better.” The second man said. The video moved on to other testimonials. Ten different male couples shared how their lives had been changed by the successful procedure.

They explained how the pills worked. Partner 1 took the green pills and developed the part necessary to create and grow a baby. Partner 2 took the red pills to increase sperm count and help it bond with the eggs developed in the first partner.

Once bonded, nature took its course. Partner 1 became impregnated and incubated the baby for six months. When it was time, the baby was delivered through surgery. The body absorbed and metabolized the unnecessary parts. If another baby was desired, the process would be repeated. The video showed a couple with three boys ranging from baby to 7 year old. This was not a new procedure.

“What the fuck, dude?” I looked over at Tareq who was stone silent as the video wrapped up showing a couple playing frisbee with their young son in a park.

“We should do a test first, but if you are no longer craving the green pill then it’s likely a viable baby.” The doctor went to a cabinet and took out supplies.

“I’m sorry, Dylan. I will explain after the checkup. Let’s see if it worked.” Tareq kept his arms around my waist as the doctor came over.

The doctor did a throat swab with a long q-tip. He put it into a larger vial that held liquid and put the cap on. He swirled it around then set it on the counter. Next, he did a blood draw on my arm and took a vial of it. He put a cap on that and sent it with a nurse.

The doctor poked around and put this scanner thing on my stomach to look and listen for things.

“The quick test shows he is pregnant, but we’ll know for sure when we examine the blood markers. It should take an hour or so. It is too soon to see or hear what is going on. Let’s get the blood test back before we decide anything.” Dr. Rammat leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms.

“As for the boy. It is unacceptable for him to not have been given informed consent for this. Once we know more, it will be up to him to decide if he wishes to continue with this or terminate the pregnancy. At this stage, it is reversible, but will be painful. I am so sorry that he did this to you. It is becoming a major problem with this procedure, and it’s one of the main reasons this is not a widely known option.” He looked at Tareq with disgust.

“We will not terminate. That is not a concern.” Tareq pulled me back against his chest and held me protectively.

“I will decide that. How could you? You knew this whole time and you kept going without saying anything!” I felt a rage grow inside me.

“We won’t know for sure for a time. Why don’t you two discuss this in our lounge? There is a juice bar you might like.” The doctor wanted our drama out of his office.

“Let’s go. You should eat something as well.” Tareq stood and reached for my hand, but I pulled it back. I got to my feet and went towards the door.

We walked in silence back to the waiting room where a nurse led us down the hallway to a private cafe with a playground and lounge seating. There were a few men there and a few children. They were having some kind of play group and the men were sitting around talking while sipping juices from the bar.

Tareq ordered us two green drinks while I sat across the lounge staring at the group of men. The boys were crawling around the playscape and laughing excitedly. The men were talking about something, but I couldn’t hear them.

“My love. I want so much to tell you. Let me explain?” Tareq came over and put an icy green slushy in front of me.

“Please do. Why would you do this? Is this even real?” I sipped the juice which was a green apple flavor with a hint of kale.

“I hear of this procedure four years ago and I went to the clinic in Malaysia to investigate. My family pressures me to settle down and make family, but I do not wish to be with woman. I knew this is right for me. I meet families and see that is safe and works well. Is not only this, the boys created from the pregnancies are genetically higher with intelligence, strength, immunity to conditions. Your weaknesses are countered by my strengths, and my weaknesses are countered by your strengths. Is genetically pure mix of best of both of us.” Tareq set his juice down and put his hands on my thigh.

“What we create, will be a perfect boy, the best of us both.” He smiled.

“Why me though? Why not find someone who wants to do this? Or at least ask me if I want to do this?” I couldn’t look at him. I kept my eyes on the boys playing.

“You are my genetic complement. The DNA test match us. Well not just us. It give me variety of men who have data in the world DNA bank. I choose you from the group; the most beautiful and perfect boy of my dreams. Statistically, we make the best recipe for perfection. You are meant for me. Then I research you and see the news stories of your tragic loss. I look through your records and I know you are right for me.” Tareq’s face started to turn a little green.

“So you tracked me and researched me. You just want my DNA.” I felt a twist in my stomach.

“No. I want you. I love you. You are my match, my mate. We are drawn together. I put together projects in Tucson to go and study you more. I see my mate is kind, sweet, pure, gentle, everything I desire. I know we will make the perfect match. You will carry my baby. But I also know time is not good for this.” Tareq sighed.

“There is always time to ask someone’s permission before you put a baby in them.” I pushed him away.

“You are of perfect age to begin, and I have only four or five years left before my seed will not work for this. With older men, the sperm require artificial means. At our ages, we can do things natural ways. You are just beginning, and my window is closing. I want natural way with procedure. And we do this. We have beautiful passion together. My body never feel like it does when I am inside the one made for me.” Tareq turned and put an arm across the back of my chair to rub my shoulder.

“Nothing about this is natural! But you should have told me. What you did is wrong. It’s assault. It’s really bad.” I turned to look at his teary eyes. He looked so fragile.

“I can not risk you say no. Is what we are meant for. Please just give time to think and do not terminate the baby. Give me time to prove I am man who will protect and enjoy you for rest of your life. Please do not act with anger.” He leaned down to put his lips on my shoulder.

“Let’s see what the doctor says. This is so fucked up, dude. I should call the cops or something. I can’t even…” I sighed. I laid my head against his and he turned to embrace me.

“Hi,” an unknown voice surprised us. “I’m David. It looks like you’re new here. Yeah?” I looked up to see a tall white guy with blue eyes and blonde hair pulled back into a manbun. He smiled warmly and took a seat across from us.

“Is our first time. We are waiting to hear the results.” Tareq sat up. He looked grateful for the distraction.

“I wish I had started at your age. We were able to have three. The older two are in school, but that’s my youngest, Darwin.” David pointed at a kid in the play area who looked much darker than him.

“A very handsome boy,” Tareq offered.

“He looks just like his father. My husband is on business in Egypt. I would go crazy without this group. You’re lucky to be having a baby here where there is a support network. My husband is Egyptian. I’m from Holland. You two are going to make beautiful combinations.” David was ready to sell us on the whole package.

“I know our baby will be beautiful.” Tareq agreed.

“Are you scared? Trust me. I was so scared when we started this, but now I’d have five more if I could!” David kept that winning smile flashed on me.

“This morning I didn’t even know about this. I thought I ate something weird.” I shrugged.

“You didn’t know?” David looked at us with confusion.

“We check in with the doctor. Has passed one hour now.” Tareq got up quickly and took my hand. We went back to the clinic office and he kept a firm grip on my hand like I would try to run away if he let go.

He talked to the nurse in Arabic.

“Is almost ready. We go back to the room. Ok?” Tareq pulled me towards the door that led back to the exam rooms.

We waited another ten minutes before the doctor came back in. He was expressionless as he opened a sealed envelope. I felt like we were a bad episode of a daytime talk show. But there was little doubt who the father could be.

“You are pregnant.” He said this and looked at us with uncertainty.

“My baby!” Tareq hugged me tightly and kissed me while I sat there stunned.

“What do you want to do, Dylan? It is your choice, and we will pay for your safe passage home if you decide to terminate. Obviously we are horrified that this happened to you, and we deeply regret that our clinic was used for illegal purposes. Our lawyers are ready to assist with anything you need.” Dr. Rammat was glaring at Tareq.

I didn’t respond. I just sat there letting it wash over me.

10: It’s For the Baby

“In the first few months of the pregnancy, you will notice a sharp increase in the sex drive of both the carrying and participating parents. This is a natural part of the process designed to reinforce the genetic link between both parents and the fetus. It is important to engage daily in sexual intercourse for the child to develop properly,” I read from the third page of the book Dr. Rammat had given us with the welcome materials.

“So we are commanded for playtime? I can do this.” Tareq laughed and looked over at me with a wink as he drove us home.

“This isn’t a joke. You got me pregnant. You don’t get to be cute.” I turned to the chapter explaining changes to the nipples.

“I know, but you must know I will take care of you. I prove to you I am your perfect mate. But please you will keep the child. You cannot kill what we create.” He reached over to put his hand on my leg, but I shoved it off and turned towards the window.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I do know that I am getting on that airplane and heading home Saturday. If you won’t send me then Dr. Rammat will. Whatever I decide to do, I’ll do it with my family and people I can trust.” I’d told the doctor we would come in for a checkup on Friday when I’d made my decision.

“What to tell my parents? They will ask what the doctor says.” Tareq turned the car into his neighborhood where the armed guards nodded at him and began to open the gate.

“Tell them whatever you want. I’ll never see them again. Your mom hates me so she can fuck right off.” I was on a roller coaster of anger. It washed over me like a crashing wave and then subsided only to come back again.

“She does not hate you. I will put a stop to her disrespect of you. You are carrying my child, and she will change when she learns this. My father very much care for you. He will be angered to me, but I will not ask you to lie. We tell them truth if you wish.” Tareq tried once more to put a hand on me.

This time I let him touch me. For some reason it felt comforting that he’d stand up to his mother for me. I felt so conflicted towards him. Of course a golden boy from privileged wealth would think nothing of impregnating the poor low-class boy of his choosing. It was a classic storyline.

He pulled into his driveway and left the car in front of the door. He came over to help me out then handed off the key to the family’s driver. What a crazy house to have valet parking. This was not my world.

We got inside and Tareq called his parents. His father came out from his office and looked hopefully at me. His mother came out from the living room and ended her phone call when she saw us.

“Dylan is healthy,” Tareq began.

They both sighed in relief and nodded happily at me. His father smiled because he was concerned for my health. His mother smiled because it meant I was going home sooner.

“And pregnant! I am pregnant with Tareq’s sperm.” I added.

I watched the looks on his parents’ faces go from surprise to confusion and then both erupted in a cannonball of Arabic. I was glad I didn’t understand it. They volleyed back and forth with Tareq waving his hands and trying to explain things.

“You are trans?” His mother turned to me suddenly.

“I’m what?” I asked.

“Transgender. You were born with female parts? Upstairs man with a lady in the basement.” She asked me without a hint of shame.

“Yeah sure. Why not? Let’s go with that.” I sighed. It seemed to be an easy way to explain everything.

“I did not say that! Mother! Do not say this to my boy!” Tareq interrupted. He held up his hands not wanting to anger me further.

“Yet is true! Is only explanation and she admit it. Right, Dylan?” His mother countered.

“No! Dylan is a boy! Why are you so hard with him? He carries my child, your grandchild, inside him! Show respect!” Tareq was determined to be my white knight here.

“Of course. It make sense. He is so petite and delicate… it makes sense. And of course he is boy. We do not discriminate or offend. She only means to explain how this can happen. She does not mean to insult Dylan. He is a fine boy.” Mr. Zakar made sure to temper his wife’s unfriendly tone.

“No, father! He was born…” Tareq started, but I cut him off.

“It’s fine. There’s no need to hide from them. I don’t owe anyone an explanation of my genitals. I need to lie down.” I sighed and rubbed my stomach.

“Of course. Nothing but rest and care for you. I am so pleased! My new grandchild.” Mr. Zakar gave me a hug and kissed my forehead.

“Thank you for your kindness. It means everything to me.” I told him. I walked past an icy Mrs. Zakar and headed to Tareq’s house across the courtyard.

“Let me to get the door. I will program your fingerprints so you can come and go as you need.” Tareq caught up to me as I got to his front door.

He opened it for me and I went inside and took off my shoes, changed into sleep clothes, and grabbed squishy cactus for naptime.

“I will hold you.” Tareq stripped down to his boxers and came to lie next to me.

“You will not. Stay over there.” I curled up far from him and tried to fall asleep.

I heard him sigh. He got up and went for his laptop to catch up on work. I tried every position, but I couldn’t fall asleep. It was cold in his room and too quiet. The only noise was his fingers on the keyboard.

I turned over and stared at him. He stopped typing, closed his laptop, and turned to face me. He laid down on his side and watched me watch him. His strong chest of muscles looked so warm and inviting. I felt a pull from my center like the baby wanted us together.

“I’m pregnant.” I whispered.

“I know. I participate… I am here for you.” He whispered back.

“We are supposed to have sex. It’s in the book. I don’t want to, but it’s in the book. We really shouldn’t, but what if the baby needs it?” I nodded towards the table where he’d set it down.

“We can not disobey the book. Is for the baby. I can touch you?” He reached for me and I nodded.

He put his hand to my cheek and rubbed his thumb over my lips.

“My beautiful boy. My little prince. I need you more than life. Come to me.” He rubbed his hand down to my shoulder and pulled on me until I rolled over and into his chest.

I kissed his neck as his hand rubbed down my back and into my sleep shorts. He pushed below the waistband of my briefs then touched a finger to my hole. My body responded with electric pulses and my cock went rock hard.

“I need you. Please.” I whimpered. The fire ignited and I felt like I did that first night. My body surged with waves of pleasure as his lips touched my skin and his fingers worked its way inside me.

“My love. I never deny what your body calls for.” He pulled off my t-shirt and went in to suck my nipples.

I slid my hand down his abs then gripped his cock and freed it from his boxers. I pushed him away from my chest then sat up and dove on his cock. His thick snake stretched my lips and poked back against my throat until I gagged. I looked down at his balls, two heavy bull nuts. He was full and ready to fill me.

“Oh fuck. That’s so good.” Tareq reached down to push his fingers through my hair with one hand while the other worked to open my hole for him.

He moved his hands to lift me up by the ass. He kept my mouth on his cock while positioning me so my knees straddled his chest and my hole was just over his face.

He tugged on my briefs, pushing them down to my thighs. I felt his tongue hit my hole and my body went into overdrive. I slurped his cock while he tongued me with expertise. 

“You are so good at that,” I praised as he wormed into me. He sucked on it like it was his last meal.

He spent a good while opening me while I half-assed on his cock. I wanted to suck it properly, but my body was overtaken by the sensations he produced in my hole. The man was good at his job.

“Is ready. I can give you my seed.” Tareq smacked my cheeks and pushed me forward. He got up from under me and turned me over.

“Fuck me, daddy.” I whined how he liked. It brought a wide smile of satisfaction to his lips. He raised my let’s to rest against his chest then lined his cock up with my waiting hole.

He pushed in with a gentle urgency. The tip stretched my hole then popped in. He waited, leaned down to kiss me, then fed me more. Once again, my body lit up as he filled it. He stretched me and my eyes started to flutter. He leaned down to kiss me as he slowly invaded my ass.

“My boy is made for me. We will have beautiful babies, no?” He slid in deeper, stopping to kiss my neck and bite my nipples.

“Oh fuck. That’s it. Don’t stop.” My breathing went to ragged gasps for air as he pushed in deeper. I put my hands on his back and held on as he started to fuck me.

He get all the way in and gave me ten seconds to adjust before he started to pound me. He knew what I wanted. I buried my lips in his shoulder.

His lips found mine as he buried his cock as far as it would go. I felt his nuts slap my ass as he started to pound me. His arms held me against his chest as our lips wrestled. His tongue pushed into me and I sucked it while he filled me.

My body thrashed in his arms when his cock pushed the most sensitive parts of my canal. I got a sudden wave of pressure from my stomach when he drove all the way in. I know it’s crazy, but it felt like the life growing inside me wanted him too. It wanted his genetic material. It needed to know it belonged to both of us; held both our dna.

“Do you feel that?” I asked him as I pulled my lips from his.

Tareq raised up, but continued to drill me in a slow, deep rhythm.

“Put your hand here.” I rubbed my stomach which was coated in his sweat.

“My love. It is too soon. He is the size of rice piece.” Tareq laughed, but I pulled his hand down to my stomach.

His smile faded to a look of confusion.

“Your belly pulses.” He pulled his cock back. “Even now it pulses. I am not moving. Is life in there. My boy is happy in my mate’s womb.”

He leaned down to kiss my stomach then kept on plowing me. For the first time I really felt like there was someone in there. I also felt like I was going to cum.

Before I could tell him, my cock started to fire off. My sperm went everywhere. It wasn’t important for the baby. It shot my cheek and chest and the pillow behind me. My body twisted and jerked under his hold as he piston-fucked my hole.

“I finish too,” Tareq bared his teeth and pushed deep inside me as his cock erupted. I felt the warm shots inside me and my stomach started to pulse faster. I know it sounds crazy, but I literally felt his seed race up through me.

“Fuck, daddy,” I whined as he grunted and pushed his seed as far as he could. He normally made sexy conversation, but this time he was focused. He knew he had a mission and he was intent on giving our baby as much of his material as he could.

“My love,” he whimpered as he collapsed into the bed. He rolled onto his back and brought me into his chest as we stayed locked together. He rubbed my back and kissed my hair as he breathed deeply.

We laid there together, recovering our breath and letting his seed do its job.

“I love you so much, my heart. I hurt you so deeply. I hope to earn your love.” He held me as I gently rose and fell on his chest as he breathed.

We went to shower and get ready for dinner. A worker came in to change the bedding while he kept me closed in the bathroom.

He cleaned me and worked a finger in my hole to check that I’d taken all of his seed. My body had absorbed it. It was so strange to see his fingers come out with no trace of his juice., but then nothing about any of this made any sense.

The book did not lie. I laid there in his arms and felt a rush of peace and happy.

11: What’s Growing On In There?

We had a simple dinner with his parents and his oldest brother, Ahmad, who was joined by his Italian husband, Luca.

“We heard you are expecting a child. Congratulations. When is the wedding?” Ahmad asked when we sat down.

“We have not discussed this yet. It was unexpected,” Tareq responded.

“I did not realize your boy was transgendered. Mother tells me this.” Ahmad looked at me with new interest as if this excited him.

“He’s not…” Tareq started to correct him, but I was getting amused by this thinking.

“Do you usually introduce yourself and state your gender history?” I looked at him as if I was offended.

“Excuse my ignorance. Is a surprise to us. You do not show signs.” Ahmad started to backpedal awkwardly.

“Signs?” I looked home dead in the eyes.

“Please stop,” Luca said to his husband. “You are in a hole. Stop digging.”

“No, no! I do not mean to offend. I only mean he is very handsome boy. Is surprising. He is very beautiful either way.” Ahmad tried to explain.

“Please keep your eyes off the one who carries my child.” Tareq looked at his brother threateningly.

“I apologize, Dylan. There is no bad intention in my words.” Ahmad gave up his inquisition. He nodded to me and I nodded back. No sense in starting a war.

“You are going to have the cutest baby! The two of you combined! I can’t wait to see how this turns out. My friend in Rome designs the most amazing baby clothes. I’ve begged her to make things in my size! When will you know the gender?” Luca asked.

“Not for a few weeks I think. I haven’t really researched this. I have a feeling it will be a boy. I just kind of know it.” I couldn’t tell them how we knew for certain.

“As long as it is healthy! Your child will never worry for anything. He will be a Zakar and will have a life of privilege.” Mr. Zakar nodded at me with a smile.

“I guess this means you’ll be staying here? You can’t have our grandchild in America. It is a dreadful place.” Mrs. Zakar looked at us as if the very idea of living in the US was abhorrent.

“I’m supposed to go home on Saturday. I haven’t decided. I need to see my family. I haven’t told them about this. They’ll be very surprised.” I realized I was torn here.

“You must convince him to stay. Travel is dangerous for the baby and the mother. We have the best care in the world here. The finest doctors will be available around the clock for you.” Mr. Zakar frowned at the thought of me leaving.

“If he does not wish to stay then I send him home, but of course I shall go with him. I can not leave my mate alone, especially when he carries my child. I can not be on the other side of the world from the most important people in my life.” Tareq hadn’t told me that before.

“You’d go to Arizona with me?” I reached over and took his hand.

“I will go where you go. I wish you will stay here, but you are not bird I can cage. So you decide, my love. You choose the tickets and I will buy them.” Tareq looked sincere.

+++–+++

“I’m pregnant,” I texted Wes later that night. It was morning in Tucson.

“Me too! It’s great!” he wrote back and sent a selfie with him sticking out his stomach and rubbing it. The picture showed him in his Muffin Manor uniform and I saw Ricardo in the background working the register. I missed home.

I realized there was no way he was going to believe me, especially over text messages while he was at work. I wouldn’t have believed me either. 

I showed my phone to Tareq who laughed. He was working on emails and had put on an information show on what to expect during pregnancy. It was about women though and I realized I should probably read the book Dr. Rammat gave me instead.

“How am I going to tell people? My family will not understand. This is too weird. I’ll either be treated like a freak or a liar.” I shook my head.

“You will need explain if we go to Arizona. That is, if you plan to keep it.” Tareq put his arm around me and brought me into his side.

“I don’t know what to do and the appointment with the doctor is Friday.” I laid my head on his chest. I was so angry at Tareq, but I needed his comfort.

“So we push appointment to Saturday or Monday or when you are ready. You decide this. I can not stop you. I am here for your needs.” He was trying his best to not provoke me. I knew he wanted this baby. He went through all of this deception to get it.

“I love that your family thinks I have girl parts down there.” I started to laugh and couldn’t stop. This pregnancy thing was making me crazy. 

“Is so offensive. I shall put a stop to it. The term is called misgender and is not good to do to someone.” Tareq grumbled. 

“No, it’s not offensive to me. At least they’re accepting of it. It does help them understand what’s going on without giving away the whole procedure. This way they think we just fell in love and forgot to use birth control.” I shrugged. 

“You are covering for the fact that I deceive you and impregnate you without the consent. You are too kind, my love. I do not deserve this. You repay my evil with kindness. I hope our child grows with your spirit.” Tareq looked at me with sad gratitude. 

“I don’t know what to do. I miss my family, but I mostly just want to go home to piss you off. They’d send you to jail, you know. Arizona would lock you up.” I poked a finger against his chest.

“If you wish for this, you can report me. But I will not leave you to wander the world without me. If this means jail, then I go to jail. But your government will likely want to study how you become pregnant. I cannot allow they harm my child… our child.” Tareq put an arm around me.

“I don’t want you in jail. And if we are going to go through with this then I need you close… if I decide to keep it.” I rubbed my cheek against his chest.

He held me, rubbed my back, and kissed my hair. He knew I couldn’t do that to him no matter how bad he’d been. We laid there like that until I heard him start to snore. I moved his computer off his lap and curled up against his chest. I reached for the remote and turned off the television so we could sleep.

+++–+++

Friday morning we went for breakfast with his parents before the doctor’s appointment. I still didn’t know what I was going to do, but I’d go and see what my options were. I was trying to not get attached to the idea that a life was growing inside me, even though I was constantly feeling pulled by it towards Tareq.

Tareq had spent yesterday making sure I was comfortable and entertained. We’d gone for a walk on the beach, lunch down in the marina, and even raced go-karts at a small amusement park out in the suburbs.

He was intent on giving me whatever I asked for. He even pulled off the highway and got a hotel room for us when I told him I needed his seed. We spent a passionate three hours there before returning home and missing dinner with his parents. He was desperate to make me happy.

“I usually show the new parents what the baby will likely look like based on the blood test and genetic workup. I do not think it is appropriate in this circumstance, but I will leave that up to you.” Dr. Rammat glared at Tareq when we came in for our appointment.

“You can show that?” I was intrigued.

“Yes, but it is only our best guess, and if you are considering termination, then I do not advise looking. But it is up to you.” Dr. Rammat moved towards the screen on the wall, ready to pull up the images.

“I will like to see this.” Tareq hugged me to his side and lit up with excitement.

“You do not get a vote! I am only offering this to give Dylan his options. I do not advise it though. You are young and I do not want your decision swayed by emotions. These are only projections based off your DNA and bloodwork. This choice is yours.” Dr. Rammat looked at me with unhappy eyes.

“I want to see.” I nodded. “Yes, please show us.”

“I can make Tareq leave the room if you wish. It is up to you if he gets to see. He already paid for the entire procedure upfront so you do not need to worry about anything no matter what you decide.” Dr. Rammat was most definitely not a fan of Tareq.

“He can stay. I want him to stay.” I reached for Tareq’s hand and he gripped mine with gratitude.

“You are a very forgiving soul.” Dr. Rammat swiped across the screen and found a folder with my name on it. He opened it to show a video file.

The video was soft piano music that started with a title screen showing both of our names and some kind of medical record number. It faded to a picture of a baby. It was a regular baby… they all kind of look the same to me. It progressed to show a boy, maybe 4 years old. He had Tareq’s coloring and nose and dark hair, but with my eyes and lips and chin. He looked so handsome.

It progressed to a boy of 10 years. He looked athletic and friendly with a clean cut image. This picture faded to a teenager with budding muscles and a charming smile. 

Next was a young man who looked like he was studying to be a lawyer or doctor. Maybe he would cure something or sue a big corporation who was poisoning a poor village or lead a revolution that history would celebrate.

Next up was a full grown man with stubble on his chin and over his lips. He looked accomplished and important. He looked like someone the world needed more of. He was tall and strong like Tareq. The parts that were me had subtly faded. I could still see my eyes, but it was 80% Zakar genes.

“He looks just like his father.” I noted.

“Arab genes are hard to overcome. Your delicate traits will give way to his.” Dr. Rammat explained.

I looked over at Tareq who stared on with a muted, thoughtful smile.

“Our baby… that’s our baby,” I whispered.

Tareq gave a sudden jolt as if he’d forgotten I was there. He looked at me and his eyes lit up.

“Please,” he whispered. He reached up and pushed my hair out of my face then cupped a hand to my cheek. “Please, my love.”

I sighed. I looked down at his chest and watched it rise and fall as his heartbeat pounded through his hand on me.

“So that is the likely boy you would produce.” Dr. Rammat closed the video and brought us back to his attention.

“What do we need to do to make this happen?” I asked as if we were buying a new Honda.

“You will be assigned a monitor. You will need a room for him in your home. There is a different monitor who specializes in each stage of your pregnancy. The first one will focus on your health and wellness. There is a special diet and workout routine that should be followed. For a boy of your health and age, you should be fine regardless. However, it is recommended to follow the program for optimal health of your child and ease in delivery.” Dr. Rammat pulled out a white box from his cabinet and opened it to show us an array of reading materials and supplies.

“I definitely want that. I want to give him every benefit I can.” I love a program. Wes and I were always checking out the newest celebrity diets and fitness routines. We once lived for three days on apples and tuna when the new Melanie Cruz movie came out. Her body was incredible.

Tareq hugged me from behind. He put his lips against the back of my neck while rubbing my stomach.

“You will need to schedule a weekly appointment with me. Your monitor will keep detailed records of your activities, changes to your body, and your diet so we can review them together and check the baby’s progress. I’m also recommending a therapist who is experienced with this procedure. He and his partner have each carried their own so he understands what you will be going through and can help sort out the damage Tareq has done to you emotionally.” Dr. Rammat moved to his computer and started making notes.

“Of course. My Dylan will receive the best care.” Tareq assured.

“I will send a follow up with all my recommendations, and your monitor will be at your home beginning on Monday. You must get lots of rest and avoid any unnecessary anxiety. Your body isn’t just growing a new life, it is also growing the items a female body would have to support the new life. You will need a lot of rest and comfort.” He kept his eyes on the screen where he was typing out his notes.

“What about travel? I’m supposed to go to Arizona tomorrow.” I told him. I hadn’t decided yet on that part.

“That is not possible. You would need to be near a clinic. We have offices in Los Angeles, but I don’t recommend that long of a journey for you. However, if you wish to do that then you must remain there for the duration of the process. Dr. Jacobian is in charge there and I could contact him to transfer things, but the best facilities are here in Satra. It became our home base when we had to close the main center in Malaysia.” Dr. Rammat looked up at me with concern.

“Oh.” I sighed.

“There is also the complication of being pregnant back in your home city where everyone knows you. Society here is much more discreet. It is the optimal setting for this procedure which is why so many of our families chose to make their homes here. I also want you to consider the support group. There is one for new fathers that is small, but helpful. It is led by our chief therapist on staff. I’ll have her reach out to give you the information.” Dr. Rammat finished his notes.

He came back over to us and handed Tareq the box of materials and supplies. I saw there was a nice water bottle with the clinic logo on it and a small silver picture frame with a printed photo of our baby (Pregnancy swag!). Tareq thanked him and we left.

“Are you sad to stay here? We can look at the clinic in Los Angeles if you wish. I can buy a home for us. I am so happy you decide to keep this. I do not care where we go.” Tareq was walking on air as he led me back to his car. His happiness made me feel better.

12: Community for Dylan

We got home and barely had time for a nap when Tareq’s mother came to tell us to get ready for the formal. A worker came in behind her holding a hang up bag with my tuxedo fresh from the tailor.

“We can skip if you are too tired, my love.” Tareq offered, but I kind of needed some excitement.

We went to shower and get dressed up together in his bathroom. A stylist came in and gave us quick haircuts. She applied a little eyeliner and powder on me that made my skin glow.

The tuxedo actually looked really hot on me. It was like high school prom if I’d grown up in a better neighborhood. The stylist fixed my hair in this smooth swoop style that I always thought about doing but didn’t know how.

For the first time here I felt like a hot guy who belonged rather than the poor kid or the pregnant kid. Tareq looked so hot. He didn’t need any help or styling. This was routine for him.

We got into the limo with his parents and went to a huge hotel complex built on a peninsula that jutted out into the bay or gulf or whatever this water was called.

“You look very nice,” Mr. Zakar offered as we drove up to the entrance.

“Thank you, sir. Your wife chose for me. She has impeccable taste.” It was time to mend fences with Mrs. Zakar if I was going to survive here.

“You look wonderful,” Mrs. Zakar added.

“He does. I will keep him close to avoid predators.” Tareq put his arm around me.

The celebration was on the top floor of the hotel. It was half indoors and half out with a huge rooftop patio that offered views of most of the kingdom.

“What is this celebration for?” I asked as we walked in. There was an elaborate set up with a bar, buffet, dance floor, and tables. A DJ was playing some Arabian music with a catchy beat.

“The son of a powerful sheikh, Omar Altani, is to be married. The couple is there.” He pointed towards a tall nerdy guy with his arm around a bejeweled princess with a beautiful dress and gorgeous face.

“He’s marrying her? Why?” I whispered though the music was loud enough to cover my tackiness.

“Her father is one of top tech developers in Indonesia. The sheikh looks to bring major investments and pay big for his connections.” Tareq looked uncomfortable with gossip.

“I hope he’s nice to her.” I felt bad. She didn’t look happy about this.

“He is nice enough to turn blind eye that she brings her female lover to live here with them,” Mrs. Zakar was ready to dish. She pretended to straighten my bow tie while she talked.

“No way!” I looked over at her.

“That is what I hear. She is forced to marry man so she find one who will give her freedom. The girl is listed as her personal assistant. They know this country does not permit paparazzi so her privacy will be maintained until they make appearances abroad.” Mrs. Zakar has all the details. She laughed at my shocked expression.

“Your mother spilled the tea with me! She likes me,” I told Tareq when we made our way to the dance floor.

“She spills tea on you? I help you clean it. There is restroom here.” Tareq started to walk back.

“No. She spilled the tea. That’s saying she gossiped. It means she’s really trying with me. Maybe she wants a good relationship between us for the baby. I’m so happy!” I was feeling hopeful.

“My boy is so innocent! I love this! You misunderstand. She knows she need new tactic. My father love you, I love you, and you carry my only heir. She plays smart. Is why my mother is queen of all social circle. She is very feared. You are kind to not keep the grudge. My boy is too good for that. She see you have value now.” He kissed me and pulled me out to dance with him.

The dinner was served at the tables. I guess the buffet was just snacks. We ate while people got up and gave speeches in Arabic. I finished my plate and then Tareq gave me a game to play on his phone while he listened.

They finished up the speeches and dessert was served while the DJ turned up the thumping music. I passed on the cake, but picked one of the fruit bowls his mom chose.

His mom nodded approval and leaned over towards me.

“You see the unattractive red dress next to the ice sculpture?” She pointed at a nice looking lady across the room. “Remember that face. I’ll tell you all about her relationship with the sheikh’s son later, too many ears around right now.”

Whatever she was doing, it was nice and I liked it.

+++—+++

“I’m going to stay here a while. His family is so nice to me and there’s a good college here that is free to residents! Free college! I could use that,” I told Aunt Hilda when I called her.

“Are you sure? It’s so far away, kid. The pictures you sent look amazing though! And they live right on the beach? Is that the Indian Ocean?” she asked.

“I think so. Maybe. I didn’t ask what the water is called.” I was glad that she was taking this well.

“Well, keep me posted! And send a postcard or something. I hear they have good figs over there if you come across any!” She was excited for me.

“We will send a gift basket! There is amazing fruit here.” Tareq had been listening from my side.

I put her on speaker phone and the two of them chatted for a few minutes. Aunt Hilda is surprisingly easy to buy favor with. A nice gift basket and she’d sell me to any part of the world without hesitation.

I promised to call her every week and wrapped up the phone call.

“That went well. She is so sweet. I will send her very special gifts.” Tareq assured.

“She’s the easy one. Wes is going to be the hard one. I should probably go somewhere private.” I sighed.

“Why don’t we bring him here? Call and invite. I will make the arrangements. I know you don’t wish to tell him what happens to you with the baby…” Tareq started.

“He won’t believe me, and if he does then he’ll want to kill you.” I knew either way it wouldn’t end well.

“Then I will die for your peace. Is not good to keep a secret from all of your support persons. You can use a friend to help things.” Tareq reached for me and pet my cheek.

“He would love it here. He’s always wanted to travel. and he loves the beach. There’s a beach right outside!” I nodded.

I texted him, “call me when you can,” and sent it.

Wes called back about an hour later while we were finishing a video Dr. Rammat had suggested. It showed how the baby would grow and things to remember. Tareq would watch it five times and take notes. He promised to handle that stuff.

“You are not going to even guess what I found out! This is the scandal of the month! Robbie and Ryan split up!” Wes screamed when I answered the call.

“No! They are so perfect for each other! They were twin gays with matching initials! I thought they were solid!” I looked over at Tareq who eyed me like I’d transformed into a 12-year-old girl.

“Well Ryan sure was solid when Robbie walked in on him feeling up Derek Kim! They got water at Lake Havasu on his dad’s boat! Robbie was ready to throw him overboard! Ryan and Derek had to take the bus home! A bus! Can you even?” Wes roared.

“Ugh! That’s crazy!” I wasn’t super interested in this.

“What airport are you at? Your flight comes in tomorrow morning? My mom is going to pick you up on her way home from the gym. She’ll stink, but whatever! I need you back here, pronto!” Wes sang.

“About that…” I took a deep breath.

“No! No! No! You promised! I knew he’d trap you there! You can not stay in the Middle East. That is unacceptable!” He hissed, like literally hissed.

“We want to bring you here! Can you take some time off? Tareq will book the flight and everything. The big things happening here and I really need you.” I meant that deeply.

“Are you getting married? Is that even legal over there? Oh shit. You’re getting married?” His disappointment changed to elation.

“Maybe. I don’t know. Yeah I think it’s legal. There are tons of gay families here. It’s not unusual. Just please come. We can go shopping, like the primo stuff stores! Plus, Tareq is friends with the big chief at work if you need time off.” I tried to sweeten the deal as much as I could.

“Ok, fine. Twist my nut. I’ll go. I’m just doing an online class for the next few weeks so that should be fine. And Muffin Manor can snack on my ass. I’m over Cheryl’s attitude with the schedule. I don’t even need the money right now. I got my scholarship!” Wes was excited.

“Yes! Ok I’ll tell Tareq to make the arrangements. He really wants to see you too!” I felt bad for not dropping the bomb. But until he came and saw for himself, he’d never believe me.

+++—+++

Monday morning Tareq had me signed up for my first group meeting with the other new and finishing fathers. He offered to stay with me, but it was only supposed to be for the carrying partners.

Tareq dropped me off then went to work in his office for awhile. After the meeting, I was supposed to meet my new monitor anyways.

“You will text me if there is a need or you feel not comfortable. My office is only a few minutes away.” He said as he walked me to the side of the meeting room.

“Yes, dad!” I laughed. He kissed me then left. He did a sad wave as the elevator doors closed on him.

He looked so powerful in a suit. I get this weird feeling of special when I see it because it reminds me that a man that hot chose to be with me. It’s shallow. It’s me.

I turned to the door and opened it to find a group of four guys sitting around a cheery, sunbright room in plush chairs. At the head of the circle was a lady who looked kind but professional. There was a coffee table in the middle with an assortment of healthy snacks.

“Welcome!” The lady called me. “Dylan, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.” I squirmed as the guys all stared at me.

“You can call me Hani,” she said with an accent on the last syllable of her name. “Please have a seat and help yourself to the treats!”

I sat down and tried to not look at their bellies. They weren’t huge, but they were definitely visible. One guy didn’t have a pregnancy bump, but he did have a baby sleeping soundly in a car seat next to his chair.

“Charlie will sleep right through this. But he’ll wake up at midnight screaming for no reason!” The man, who introduced himself as Rupert, joked as he reached down to rock the car seat gently.

He looked to be in his mid twenties. While his stomach was flat, his tight tshirt revealed pec muscles that looked quite impressive. Was he weight lifting through his pregnancy?

The therapist introduced the other three guys as Samuel, Adnan, and Sunjay. The guys all appeared to be just a few years older than me. I was the new kid. Everyone went through and talked about what was going on at this stage in the process.

Samuel, a North African man not much bigger than me, talked about the urges he was going through with his husband. Apparently, after the irresistible sexual cravings of the first few months, he was going through a phase where his husband wanted constant physical interaction but Samuel wasn’t feeling good about his body and just wanted to hide under the covers all day.

“Wait another week or so. You’ll get these intense exercise cravings. I started going hardcore on the weights until my husband had them removed from our home gym.” Sunjay laughed.

Adnan, a tall Saudi man with the most beautiful eyes, suggested a yoga program he’d been using that really helped him feel balanced and able to work through his feelings.

“And how is your husband doing?” Rupert asked Adnan.

“Mohammed does not let me leave the house. He is waiting in the cafe downstairs to take me back home. He thinks there is danger waiting for me around every corner. I know it is natural that the donor partner gets extra protective at this stage, but it’s too much. I woke up this morning to find him checking my pulse. He said I sleep too quietly.” Adnan shook his head in annoyance.

“It is normal and it will pass. My Kadan was the same. He still sends a guard with me to the yoga class.” Sunjay seemed to have a lot of answers.

“How are things with you, Dylan?” The therapist turned to me when everyone finished talking about their week.

I didn’t have much to say. I wasn’t ready to be too open with these guys, and I didn’t know who might know Tareq or his family. They seemed important here.

“Good. I’m just getting used to all this. I’m good.” I nodded unconvincingly. “Things are good.”

13: Reyk Me Up

“Dylan Zakar?” The man asked me. He’d come in just as our group was finishing up. He sat in the corner and waited until the therapist nodded at him and pointed to me.

“Davis. I’m Dylan Davis.” I said.

The man looked at me with confusion then checked something on his iPad.

“Of course. Yes, the baby has the Zakar name so I assumed. Can I call you Dylan?” he smiled.

“Sure, and your name?” I smiled.

He was cute. He looked like one of those young personal trainer guys that post thirst-traps of themselves at the gym and try to get you to sign up for virtual training sessions or buy the fitness and nutrition products that are sponsoring them. He was wearing a tight t-shirt with a low v-neck over a tight pair of shorts that showed off his perfect ass.

“Reyk. I am Reyk Cepeda. I will be your monitor for the next month. I wanted to meet with you before. Can you come with me?” Reyk offered me his hand. I took it and he gently pulled me up as if I was made of glass.

He led me up to the lounge where another group of men were sitting around the playscape.

“I will make this juice for you every morning. It has the nutrients and medicine your body will need this first month. You can taste the cafe’s version, but I know you’ll like mine better.” Reyk winked at me and said something to the juice barista in Arabic.

“Eres de Espanya?” I asked him if he was from Spain since he looked european and had a spanish last name.

“I am, but your partner does not speak Spanish so we will use English and Arabic in your home. It is never good to leave him out. You really should get that ring on your finger before the baby comes. Do you refer to him as mate or master? Daddy? What does he like to be called by you? It’s important I learn the dynamics of your relationship so I don’t offend him.” It was a weird question.

“Well his name is Tareq. He seems to like daddy, but I haven’t really committed to that yet. I’m from Arizona. I don’t speak any Arabic but maybe you can teach me some. It’s nice to meet you.” I smiled.

He seemed a little preoccupied with pleasing Tareq and they hadn’t even met. The barista gave us our juices and we went to a side table near the windows and far from noise.

“Your daddy will be here soon. He said you aren’t responding to his texts. You should never leave him waiting or worried! I assured him you are well.” Reyk held up his phone to show me texts in Arabic script which meant nothing to me.

“Oh. I didn’t connect to the wifi here.” I laughed.

Of course my cell didn’t work here, but Tareq had been good about connecting me to wifi at his home, and we hadn’t really been apart otherwise except for the morning with his mom.

“He is bringing you a new phone that will have service. That should have been done before beginning any of this. He is very worried about you. You should make sure you are always accessible.” Reyk seemed displeased.

“Well the whole thing lacked planning, at least on my side!” I joked.

“Dr. Rammat filled me in on that. It is unfortunate, but you must also realize how special you are to be chosen by such a prestigious family. Having a Zakar child means you will never again want for anything. They are good men who follow through with their commitments. I wish I were so lucky.” Reyk lit up at the the thought of this.

“Well if any wealthy guy offers you a green pill, take it.” I was getting weirded out by this guy.

“Someday! So lets get started. I reviewed your file. A little bit about me. I am from Madrid. I did my nursing degree at the University of Miami, in your country. I’ve been a pregnancy consultant and delivery nurse for two years. I focus on holistic nutrition and fitness. If you follow what I say, this will be an easy and happy first month.” Reyk said.

He swiped through some things on his iPad to show me what our daily routine would be like. He would spend about ten hours each day with us and be on-call around the clock.

Tareq came in just as we were finishing our juice. He walked over while holding his phone to his ear. He paused a few feet away from us and finished his call. I looked over at Reyk who eyed him with a dreamy smile.

“My love. I should have fix the phone issue earlier. The new one will be waiting for you at home.” Tareq leaned down to kiss me and put his hand on the back of my neck.

“Tareq, this is Reyk. Reyk, Tareq.” I waved my hand between them to make introductions.

Reyk got to his feet and offered Tareq his hand. “I am so happy to be going to your home. My last couple only kept a small condo here. I hate using community gym equipment. It’s so unsanitary for the baby.”

“You will have your own space in our home. I chose a room close to ours, but far enough to get some quiet rest.” Tareq nodded confidently.

We followed Tareq to the parking garage and he drove us back to their estate. Reyk’s eyes lit up as Tareq wound through the neighborhood and towards their place by the beach. The Zakar house made a great first impression.

“The boy should nap before we work on the exercises. That would give us a chance to talk as well,” Reyk said when Tareq led us into the house.

“Of course. I will change and help him rest then come find you. Your luggage should be in your room already. Dial 0 on the phone if you need anything at any time. He will show you to your room.” Tareq pointed towards a worker waiting near the stairway off the foyer. Reyk said something in Arabic and then followed the man.

“He’s weird,” I told Tareq when we got back to the door of the back house.

“Well he comes highly recommended. I just want the best for my boy and my baby.” Tareq opened his door and held it for me to enter.

“He’s totally into you.” I yawned. I did really feel like a nap.

“That is good. It means he does not try to steal my boy. As long as he focus on the work here and doing best for you, I am pleased. Come. We change and lie down. You wish for sex?” He offered it the same way a friend passes you gum while driving.

“Yeah, but later. I’m really wiped out. That juice was so good.” I followed Tareq to the closet where he slid off my shirt and pants. 

He helped me into a thin sweatshirt and sleep shorts then patted my butt to go towards the bed. He changed into a tank top and very short workout shorts that showed off his chiseled physique.

“You can’t go hang out with him like that. He’s already drooling over you.” I yawned and hugged squishy cactus.

“Is of no concern. He is no match for my perfect boy and if he try to flirt me, I will send him back for another monitor. Is cute you worry for me, but hurts you think I am able to be stolen. You are my love, my heart, my only.” Tareq dove into the bed beside me and pulled me to his chest.

“I can’t help it. You’re hot and I can’t really handle competition right now.” I laid my head on his chest and rubbed his abdominals.

“Do you wish for me to send him for exchange and get new monitor? I do not want you feel anything but safe and happy. This trouble is not worth it.” Tareq kissed my hair.

“No. You’re right. I think the baby is just making me emotional. I’ll let it go. We want the best. If he is the best then he should stay.” I realized I was being ridiculous.

“Very well, but if your mind changes, you tell me and he goes. They can put him elsewhere right away. Is not like they put him on the street or flog him for being sent away. He is here for your comfort, not your anxiety.” Tareq laughed. He rubbed my back until I fell asleep.

+++–+++

“A driver will bring him. We do not need to go to the airport. Wes will be ok. The driver is trained for security.” Tareq did not want me leaving the house.

“No. He’s been on all those crazy flights by himself. I want him to see me when he walks out. Please?” I flashed him my best begging boy eyes.

“Yes, ok. I will have a shake prepared for you to drink on the way. You did not eat much at dinner.” Tareq frowned but gave in.

We’d spent the afternoon with Reyk going through a workout and seminar on what the first month would be like. Tareq must have talked with him about what I’d said because Reyk was wearing a lot more clothes than before and they seemed to fit less tightly.

Tareq had given me a new phone. It was the latest model and he showed me all the tracking apps we could use to find and communicate with each other. He made me promise to always send him something if I was feeling any kind of need for him.

Reyk joined us for our trip to pick up Wes. Wes would be staying in the room next to his in the main house. We loaded into the back of a large SUV and headed for the airport.

Wes’ flight arrived on time and the driver went to collect his luggage while we waited outside the gates. I was so nervous to see him. So much of my world had changed in the past week. I was so nervous to hear his thoughts.

We sat in leather chairs in a lounge area near the exit and Tareq made conversation with Reyk in Arabic while keeping his hand on my back. Wes was one of the first passengers to leave. He looked sleepy but his eyes lit up when he saw me. I jumped up and ran to hug him.

“Oh my god that sucked! Three planes! But they gave me first class the whole way.” Wes held onto me as Tareq came over to us with Reyk. Tareq took Wes’ backpack and put an arm around him.

“You will have very comfortable bed for rest. Welcome to my home.” Tareq kissed his cheek. We waited for the driver to bring Wes’ luggage. He’d brought his mom’s flowery suitcase.

The driver took us home while Wes caught me up on things going on back in Arizona. I didn’t know how to bring up the pregnancy thing, but I thought maybe it would go better after he had a good night’s sleep.

“Oh my god! You’re right on the ocean!” Wes said when we got to the Zakar house.

“It’s a private beach. The water is perfect here,” I told him.

“So beautiful. Dude this is way better than San Diego.” Wes ran up to the edge where the grass is separated from the sand by the walking trial.

“You will stay as long as you wish,” Tareq assured. He kept his arm around me. “Would you like to see your room? You must be very tired.”

“I am, but I want to stay up for a little while if that’s ok.” Wes was using his best manners.

“Yes! You have to see our house. It’s the back house right there.” I pointed towards our door hidden behind a row of tall bushes.

Tareq agreed. He walked towards our house and opened the door for us.

“Oh my god! This is so cute! You guys have like a little nest. You look so happy, Dylan. And you’re glowing. Your skin looks great.” Wes marveled.

Tareq put on some music and a worker brought in some food for Wes and drinks for us. Wes started looking around our place when I went to the bathroom. I expected to find him eating when I came back out, but instead he’d discovered our stash of pregnancy books and materials near Tareq’s desk area.

“What’s all this stuff? Are you guys going to get a baby?” Wes asked.

“Let’s save that topic for tomorrow.” I froze and looked down at the floor.

“Dylan? You guys just met. It’s really soon to be thinking about kids.” Wes looked concerned.

“Well,” I started, but Tareq put his hand on my shoulder.

“Dylan is pregnant. There is much to explain here, but we want to do it in person to show you things.” Tareq pulled me protectively to his side.

“Aww shit. I knew this was going to be weird! What the fuck, Dyl?” Wes looked at me with sleepy eyes. This was not going to be easy to explain.

14: Friends and Bodyguards

“Seriously, Dyl. I know you barely got a D in biology, but even you know that a pregnancy is not possible.” Wes was not buying our explanations. He kept saying it was something Tareq convinced me of to trap me here.

“You will watch the video,” Tareq said with a sigh. We sat on his couch while Wes took the big chair across from us. We showed him the video Dr. Rammat had us watch in his office.

“This is just too weird. Ok? Maybe I just need some sleep. I can’t.” Wes raised his hands like he was checking for rain.

“Yes. Of course. We will show you to your room.” Tareq got to his feet and offered me his hand. I took it and gripped it firmly. I had no words to make this better or make Wes understand.

“I love you, Dyl. But c’mon. This is too much,” Wes whispered to me as we walked across the courtyard.

Tareq had sent Reyk away for the night so he was likely in his room or exploring the grounds. He seemed very much in love with this estate.

“Just promise me you’ll keep an open mind. We’ll talk more tomorrow.” I hugged him as we got to his room. Tareq opened the door to a palatial suite with a huge bed and bathroom.

“Holy woah! This is nice.” Wes dropped our drama when he saw the beautiful room.

“We will leave you here. There is water and snack bars if you get hungry in the night. Please dial zero on the phone for any needs.” Tareq pointed to a side table that had a basket with water and food.

“This is the life. I’d even have your baby to stay here,” Wes joked.

“You’re all awake! Why up so late? Dylan should be in bed.” Reyk’s voice sounded from the hall. I remembered that his room was next door.

“We were showing Wes to his room. I will have him in bed shortly.” Tareq nodded at Reyk who came right into Wes’ room without invitation.

“It is important that Dylan is kept from any anxiety or excitement.” Reyk looked at Wes when he said this.

“You mean for the baby.” Wes laid on the sarcasm.

“Of course. Healthy babies come from peaceful routine. He should also be on a regular sleep schedule and it is nearly 11.” Reyk went into monitor mode. He was hired to get us on a good path, and his tone showed he was up to the task.

“He is right. We say goodnight now.” Tareq pulled my arm gently. 

“This is too weird, but you know I love you. Let’s assume this is true for tonight because I am exhausted. Whatever is going on, you know I have your back and we will figure this out.” Wes came to hug me goodnight.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” I hugged Wes and then Tareq nudged me towards the door. We went back to our room and got ready for bed.

+++–+++

Tuesday morning we met up for breakfast with Mr. and Mrs. Zakar in the morning room.

“Your house is amazing! Thank you so much for inviting me.” Wes showed his manners when he came in. He was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt. Tareq had warned him to dress with modesty in this country.

“You are most welcome to stay here as long as you wish. My children are grown and the space can be too much for us.” Mr. Zakar greeted him warmly.

Reyk had already greeted them before Tareq and I arrived. He was on schedule and dressed in a button-up dress shirt and nice pants. We all sat down and the kitchen staff brought in the food.

“What do you boys have planned for today?” Mrs. Zakar asked.

“We should do something fun.” I looked at Tareq who was dressed for work. He had a meeting this morning with new investors.

“What about the horse stables? The boys might enjoy a trail ride, and the weather isn’t too hot today,” Mrs. Zakar suggested.

“That is dangerous in Dylan’s condition, and I don’t want him out in the sun. Perhaps the boys would enjoy going shopping with you, mother?” Tareq shot back.

“Oh shops! They must have crazy malls here! I’ve seen this on InstaTok!” Wes lit up.

“I do not go to malls,” Mrs. Zakar looked as if she’d been accused of murder.

“Of course.” Wes pulled back.

“A nice relaxing stroll at the mall might do Dylan good. There is a lunch place in Galerie Carrousel that has a very nutritious menu, and Dylan will need clothes that cover his condition once he starts to show, unless you plan to keep him at home.” Reyk looked intent on showing his worth.

“That is an excellent idea.” Mr. Zakar nodded. 

“I have two meetings with charities today, but I can have the driver take you after he drops me off.” Mrs. Zakar smiled and eased her way out of spending the day with us.

“Very well. That area is safe and I’ll send Higor with you for security, if my father can spare him for the day.” Tareq said.

“Of course! It should be fun to see how Higor reacts to a day at the mall! Use the credit card we gave you for expenses. Anything the boys want. Show them a good day and I’ll let my accountant know it is approved.” Mr. Zakar smiled at us.

“I have it, sir. Thank you,” Reyk assured.

Tareq checked my phone to make sure the tracking apps worked even though he’d confirmed them all the night before. He wanted me to stay home and rest, but he knew I needed some time with Wes so he didn’t argue. He made me promise to answer any contact from him and stay close to Higor.

We loaded into the limo with Mrs. Zakar and Higor, a hulking, older Brazilian guy who looked like he hadn’t smiled in a decade.

We dropped Mrs. Zakar at the Royal Palm center then the driver took us to Galerie Carrousel, a shining glass mall with an adventure park in the center of it. It was not too crowded, but definitely a big draw for residents and tourists. It was definitely better than any mall I’d been to in Arizona or California. 

Higor wordlessly followed us through the main entrance looking like a high level assassin. He wasn’t displaying a gun or anything, but he just generally looked like someone you shouldn’t mess with. He kept an eye in all directions, but mostly stayed behind me. I guessed that if it came down to it, he would see Wes and Reyk as expendable.

“We should get you some clothes for when your stomach will begin to show. Dr. Rammat’s office will send you a catalog, but that stuff is so pedestrian. I’ll take you to JuneClaw. Luckily, baggy tops are fashionable this fall and they keep sizes for our younger clients at the clinic.” Reyk led us towards an escalator next to a giant dinosaur that roared and snapped at people riding up the escalator.

“Is it really true? You’re going to give birth and all? Everyone here seems to be going along with this.” Wes looked at me with furrowed brows.

“It is. I didn’t believe it either, but I feel it. Tareq’s parents think I’m trans. It was easier than explaining everything, but I don’t want to lie to you. I need my friend. I can’t do this alone.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

“Why would you do this to yourself at all? You never talked about having kids. You just came here and immediately decided you needed a baby? It doesn’t make sense. Did he pressure you into it?” Wes was whispering as if we weren’t in the middle of a mall and amusement park buzzing with noise.

“It just happened. Ok. I don’t know what I was thinking, but it’s here now and I can’t get rid of him. I feel him in there. It’s like having a little friend in my stomach who demands things. I’m starting to love him.” I rubbed my stomach and felt a little jolt of happiness.

“So weird, but I’ll be here if you need me. Ok… so I’m going to be Uncle Wes? Can I buy some shoes to celebrate?” Wes joked.

“We have the black card. You can buy whatever you want! Within reason, of course.” Reyk had been listening.

JuneClaw turned out to be a men’s store that looked more like a club filled with fashion for young guys. There were a few Arab boys looking through the racks, but Reyk took us right to the register and asked for someone or something named neon-friend.

The cashier nodded and used his earpiece to talk to someone about neon-friend. A few seconds later, a man came out and whisked us to the back into a private room with mirrors and pop art.

A guy came in and greeted us then took a look at me and Wes. He disappeared for a few minutes while Higor checked things on his phone and Reyk paged through their catalog.

Wes and I sat on the couch and waited. Soon, a full rack of clothes came in with the man who’d greeted us. He spoke no English, but Reyk used his Arabic to tell him what we needed.

He gave me a few shirts and sweatshirts that would work for when I started showing. He added some stretchy pants that made my butt look really good. Lastly, he showed me a selection of sexy bedtime wear that Reyk insisted I get.

For Wes, he got the regular fashions and ended up picking three outfits that would work for the nicer places we’d be going with the Zakars. He looked so happy and took pics for his InstaTok.

Reyk got the shoes he wanted, but Higor declined our offer to make him over. He had no humor. The sales guy packed up all of our things to send with a courier to the Zakar home.

We walked through the mall when Wes decided he wanted to ride the roller coaster. I knew Tareq would not approve so I stayed with Higor while he rode it with Reyk. 

By the time he came back to where we were waiting, he’d met two Arab teens who were interested in him. Wes moves fast. They wanted to come to lunch with us, but Higor stepped in and put a stop to that. Instead, Wes exchanged social media with them before telling them goodbye.

We ate a healthy lunch of protein with a crazy good salad at the place Reyk had talked about. I sent Tareq pictures and he said he’d get them to deliver whenever I wanted. Wes enjoyed the salad, but wanted some chicken nuggets afterwards so we walked to the food court. Higor only agreed to get a burger after I promised to stay beside him in the line to wait. It seemed like he wasn’t allowed to eat while on duty. I felt bad for him.

After the mall we went back home. Wes and Reyk were going to head for the beach, but Reyk said it was my naptime and he sent me back to Tareq’s back house with Higor who let me in. I saw the workers had hung up the new clothes from JuneClaw in our closet. They worked fast. I got ready to take a nap while waiting for Tareq to come back. 

Higor stayed with me, sitting quietly on the couch until he could hand me off to Tareq. I was starting to get attached to him. He never said a word and lurked behind me like a silent, killer puppy. He didn’t make a sound while I snuggled under the covers. He did thumb through one of the pregnancy books on the coffee table. 

I wondered what he thought of being assigned to me for the day. He looked like he’d normally be off in an action film trying to infiltrate a high level mafia organization.  

I laid my head on the pillow and watched him move in the mostly dark room. He checked his phone, looked out the window, and then just sat quietly at the table. 

Tareq came in talking loudly on the phone which woke me up. I crawled out from under the covers to see Higor get to his feet, nod at Tareq, give me a quick wave, and then head off into the moonlight. I was going to miss him.

“I need sex time. I miss my boy with long day of work.” Tareq set his phone on the charger and started to take off his shirt.

“Me too, chief.” I raised my arms and waved him towards the bed.

15: My Nipple, My Ring

“You must go to your checkup, my love. And I can not miss this meeting. I will join you for lunch later and Reyk will take very good care of you.” Tareq was being weird Thursday morning.

“I need you there. What if he finds something weird like an extra head?” I didn’t want to go without him and I was tired of being treated like a patient. Reyk had been all over me Wednesday, correcting every exercise I tried and every food I wanted.

“Then we will love our two-head baby. Is just check up. I can access all tests and scans through the app. I promise to read the doctor’s notes, but I must go to meeting. I promise I will soon be all yours.” Tareq sighed and came over to kiss my cheek.

“Ok then fine! I’ll do this without you!” I crossed my arms quite dramatically and turned away from him.

I was behaving like a baby. I knew he had important things going on at work. He was planning to take time off when my pregnancy was farther along and again when the baby arrived. He wanted to wrap things up so he wouldn’t be missed. I sulked right up until Tareq walked me to the waiting car with Reyk and Wes.

“Give him a kiss and wish him a good day. Your partner needs your support,” Reyk whispered to me when I turned without saying goodbye to Tareq. He was right.

I turned and gave Tareq a long kiss that seemed to lift his mood. He helped me into the car and then closed the door like I was helpless or a celebrity.

“You should not push him from his business. He is an important man. You are lucky to have him.” Reyk was intent on annoying me as the car pulled away from the Zakar home.

“He is lucky to have Dylan. What’s your point?” Wes was not a fan of Reyk and how he pushed me.

“I am only concerned with the bonding process. It is important for the baby.” Reyk was not a fan of Wes either.

“The bonding of Dylan and Tareq or the bonding of you and the Zakars?” Wes was in a snappy mood.

Reyk shook his head and went over some things on his iPad.

+++–+++

“There are three today! Your support group grows. Welcome!” Dr. Rammat smiled when he stepped into the exam room.

“Wes is my best friend from back home. He doesn’t really believe what’s going on here, but he’s here to support me.” I introduced them.

“Ah yes, well he will change his mind when the baby comes.” Dr. Rammat chuckled at his joke and then consulted with Reyk on the data.

“And you are feeling better? Your levels look healthy. Let’s see what is going on in here.” The doctor turned to examine me after going over my chart.

“The exercises are hard, but they’re helping. I don’t feel so… uneven anymore. It was kind of a roller coaster with the baby feels, but it’s settling down now and I don’t feel like sleeping constantly. I feel good.” I rubbed my stomach while the doctor listened to and inspected different parts of me.

“The diet and workout plans are working. Reyk’s notes show you are following them. Next week we should be able to see something on the ultrasound. Your little bean will start to sprout and take shape in a few weeks.” He made some notes on his computer.

“He is doing well and following the program. He’s going to be a very easy client,” Reyk assured.

“Your pecs will start to change next.” Dr. Rammat slid my shirt up to check my chest.

“Like the guys in the group? They all looked like they did chest day all day every day.” I’d noticed that with the support group.

“Yes. It’s for milk production. With the original procedure, the men grew breasts, which wasn’t optimal or pleasing. They’ve really come far with the right formula that develops your typical muscle pattern.” He put his hand on my pecs. They were still pretty flat, but he squeezed them to check.

“Yours will look very nice and natural since you have very little body fat. We should increase his calories though. His weight hasn’t changed an ounce.” He gave my nipples little pinches. They were sensitive to his touch, but not how Tareq made them feel.

Maybe it was the gloves the doctor had on… or my lack of sexual attraction to the doctor. I wasn’t exactly here for nipple play anyways.

“Don’t be afraid when they start to produce milk. Your partner will enjoy it since it has a naturally sweet taste and includes comforting hormones. Don’t be surprised when he gets a strong craving for it. Your body will produce plenty for the child when it is time.” Dr. Rammat smiled.

“Some partners get very attached to it.” Reyk added.

“This is getting wild,” Wes whispered.

“So much to think about. And it’ll all go back to normal after I have the baby?” I shook my head.

“That’s why you have me.” Reyk put his hand on my shoulder. “Our team will be there.”

“Your body will go back to how it was before. You should produce milk for a year after the birth, and then it will be up to your gym routine to keep your pectorals at your desired level.” Dr. Rammat finished up and sent us on our way with a gift bag of vitamins and healthy snacks. This clinic never sent me away empty handed.

+++–+++

“Where are we going for lunch?” I asked as we walked to the parking garage.

“Khana! It takes months to get a reservation there. It’s so good!” Reyk went to the town car and tried the locked doors then sighed. The driver came rushing out from the lobby.

“Apologies. I needed the restroom.” The driver spoke to us and quickly took over the door holding duty.

“You would have the Zakar’s grandchild standing alone in the parking garage?” Reyk raised his voice.

“Calm down. Everybody poops.” Wes rolled his eyes.

“It’s fine, really. We just got here!” I didn’t like Reyk’s attitude. The Zakar’s staff tried really hard to make sure everything was perfect for us.

The driver thanked us and closed the back door when we were safely inside. He drove us back down to the coast then up along the cliffs that rise to the east. We arrived to an old Arabian-style palace built on a tall cliff overlooking the water. It was a bit much for a simple lunch.

“What kind of food is it?” I asked as the driver pulled up to the front.

“A little of everything, but they specialize in food from here. I’ll tell you what dishes work with your plan.” Reyk looked excited to try it.

“I’ve been craving a hotdog from AM/PM. And Chili Cheese Fritos would be so good right now.” Wes smirked.

“Remember those nachos your dad got us at the Suns game? I could kill for a bite of those right now.” We were both missing home.

“No nachos! No hot dogs! This is one of the finest restaurants in the country.” Reyk was appalled by our jokes.

“Let’s try it then.” I shrugged as the driver opened our door and helped me out.

Tareq was waiting when we walked inside. He came over and pulled me in for a kiss then looked me over as if I’d gone on a perilous adventure.

“Everything is ok, my love?” He asked and took my hand to hold.

“It was good. You’re going to be drinking milk soon though.” I laughed. Pregnancy was weird.

“Milk?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll tell you later. This place looks nice.” I let him lead me towards the hostess.

The hostess led us to a side elevator and up to the top floor. The doors opened to a room that looked like something Jasmine would live in before Aladdin stole her away. It was a huge, open space with walls of glass on three sides that took in the coast, mountains, and city. There was no one there but us.

A waiter came from the only door in the room and brought out a tray of drinks that looked like champagne. He served them to us while we looked around.

“It’s beautiful! Do you know how many royals and dignitaries have dined in this room?” Reyk was on his own special cloud.

“I do. We have dined with most of them,” Tareq laughed.

“As have I,” Wes joked. “It’s so pedestrian to eat elsewhere.”

“I do agree.” I nodded. Reyk rolled his eyes at us. Tareq typed out something on his phone.

On the one wall that wasn’t glass, there were huge paintings in ornate gold frames. The painting in the center disappeared though and was soon replaced by a display showing four different black rectangles. One by one, the rectangles were replaced by my family members.

The first one showed Aunt Hilda with Jared. The next showed my grandparents on my mom’s side who lived in Flagstaff. The third showed my dad’s parents who lived in El Paso. The fourth showed Wes’ parents at home in their living room in Tucson.

“Oh my god! Hey you guys!” I ran over to greet them. 

They were live! Everyone said hello and wished me well. I was on a zoom or something! I wanted to jump through the screen and hug them.

“Hello, Dylan’s people. These are my parents.” Tareq called from behind me. 

I turned to see Mr. and Mrs. Zakar had shown up along with all of Tareq’s siblings, their spouses, and children. The room began to fill each time the elevator opened.

“What a crazy surprise!” I hugged Tareq. I wanted to cry. It felt like I was home.

“I know you need cheer and you miss your people so I bring them here as best I could.” Tareq kept a tight hold on me as I turned back to look at my family. Wes was catching up with his parents as the room filled.

A worker came up to us and handed Tareq a microphone.

“Everyone is here? Yes? Everyone has drink? Yes? Everyone listens?” Tareq looked around the room and reiterated his words in Arabic.

“I bring everyone here,” Tareq began when the noise settled down. “To be here in most important time for us. I have question to ask my Dylan.”

He let me go and then sank down to one knee. His brother, standing to his side, passed him a box from his pocket.

“Dylan. My love. You bring the happiness to my life. You make me to be a better man. You are my world and I cannot imagine a day without you. I want to spend rest of my life with my perfect angel-boy. You will marry me… I mean. Will you marry me?” Tareq looked at me with emotional eyes. 

He opened the box and took out a beautiful golden ring with five diamonds embedded. They were evenly spaced around the ring with some little symbol etched between each one.

A tsunami of emotion hit me and I couldn’t even respond. I nodded and cried and then started to feel weak. He quickly rose to catch me and held me. He kissed me and slipped the ring on my finger.

My grandparents said a few words. They hadn’t been around much since my parents died. They came for holidays sometimes. Aunt Hilda was a little better, but I think my family was just a little overwhelmed with all of th Zakars in one room staring at them through the screen.

Tareq had sent each of my family a gift box with the desserts we would have after lunch. They were very impressed. It was so thoughtful of him to include them. Wes and I spent a few minutes chatting with my family while Tareq went to greet everyone. This whole thing was so surreal.

“You look very healthy and so happy,” my teary-eyed grandmother noted as she blew her nose into a handkerchief.

“Oh he’s got his own personal trainer here. This place is crazy!” Wes started to fill them in without divulging the pregnancy. 

Tareq came back and held me from behind while we wrapped up the screen time. We said goodbye to them and went to enjoy the party.

I kept staring at the ring on my finger. 

I was going to get married. 

I was going to be a Zakar. 

I was going to be Tareq’s overly-protected spouse. 

I was going to have a baby that belonged to this family and this world. 

I was never going to get back home. 

I was never going to work at Muffin Manor or ride the bus or eat a hot dog from AM/PM. 

I was never going to binge-watch some dumb show with Aunt Hilda on a sun-baked July day when all we could do was sit on the couch and pray for nightfall when it was cool enough to finally go outside again. 

I was never going to be me again.

16: Oh The Places We’ll Go

“I need a minute.” I kissed Tareq and pulled my hand from his.

I turned and found Wes flirting with Tareq’s younger cousin by the ice sculpture the staff had wheeled out. It was two swans with their necks crossed over a basket of roses. I went to Wes and grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the handsome boy.

“I need you!” I pulled Wes to the restrooms by the elevator.

“Yep, coming.” Wes was amazing.

“What the fuck did I just do?” I let go as we made our way into the mens room.

“You just got engaged, my boy. So crazy!” Wes laughed like this was all some weird prank.

“This means I’m stuck here. I barely know these people. I don’t have anyone here. I don’t speak any Arabic, and now I really want a hot dog and chili cheese fritos. What did I do?” I was melting into anxiety.

“Ok first of all. You can change your mind. Secondly, they have planes to take us home. Thirdly, you pulled me away from a gorgeous dude with a very nice bulge and I’m not even complaining. That is the kind of friendship you take to your grave, so don’t tell me you don’t have people here. I am people and I am here and we are going to figure this out.” Wes always knew how to calm me down.

“I know and I love you so much, but you can go home and I can’t. I’m carrying this guy’s child and now I have this ring… Oh fuck that’s a gorgeous ring!” I held up the ring to show him.

“That is a Cartier ring, my friend.” He held up his phone to show a picture of it on their website next to a twenty-thousand dollar price tag.

“This cost that much? Now I can’t even wear it. What if I scratch it or it falls off? It’s so beautiful!” It fit so perfectly on my finger.

“Then daddy’s gonna buy you a mockingbird or however the nursery rhyme goes. Look, just take a deep breath.” Wes started, but then the door popped open and Reyk came in with Tareq.

“You are ok, my love? The party will go on all night, but we can go home and rest. Are you tired?” Tareq came over to me and started checking things. He looked so hot in his suit, so tall and handsome and perfect.

“Yes. He needs rest and some water, but first can I get that guy’s phone number? He’s so hot.” Wes looked longingly at the door.

“Ishaq? My cousin you were talking to? I think he like ladies.” Tareq looked confused.

“Well he definitely liked me. He lives here, right?” Wes checked.

“He does. My uncle’s home is two streets from ours,” Tareq confirmed.

“Go! Go now!” I gave Wes a playful shove.

Tareq put his hands on my sides and lifted me up to sit on the counter. He got a paper towel and wet it before wiping my face gently.

“Are you rethinking your yes?” He asked with a look of uncertainty.

“No. Not for a minute. I love you.” I told him.

“But?” he asked.

Reyk watched us from a few steps back. He made no move to give us privacy.

“It hit me that my life is different, like forever! No more Arizona. No more goofing around with friends. I feel like you’re royalty or something. I get an assassin looking  bodyguard dude just to go to the mall? I don’t know if I can live that way.” I felt my breathing get heavy, labored.

“It’s ok. Breathe, my love.” Tareq pushed on my chest and put a hand in the small of my back to angle me and open my chest to breathe.

“I love you so much. I’m going to have your baby. I want that. I want this. I just… it’s a lot!” I started to sniff back tears.

“I know you are mine. I promise we will go to Arizona and visit. I will take you for goofing time with friends. I will goof with you. Is best thing to be married and have friend to goof with. I will not stop to send bodyguard when you are not out with me though. I will always protect my boy and my baby. Ok? And you like Higor. He say you are very sweet to him and very well behaved.” Tareq rubbed my chest as I took deep breaths.

“Ok.” I said, trying to breathe.

“Also! I am not royalty! We have a little more money than other people and I like nice things for you. I love that you do not want these things. Do you know how many boys I met who are desperate for this life and will do anything to trap me? With you I know is love. I know you will want me when I am older and not in peak shape. I know you will stay for me even if we lose the nice home and exotic life.” Tareq leaned in against my ear and nibbled on it.

“You bought me a twenty-thousand dollar ring,” I whispered to him.

“My Dylan deserve every diamond in Mount Arabi! Do you remember date we have in Tucson where I take you to pizza restaurant? You remember what you do after we finish the meal?” Tareq pulled back and looked at me. I didn’t remember doing anything.

“What did I do? You paid the check and we left.” I told him.

“Before this. You stack the plates with utensils on top and wipe the mess so waiter can easy clear table for us. You try to make the world to be easier for others. I know this sound simple, but I fell in love with you when you clean the coffee off my window before you even know my name. We are matched for the baby by dna database, but your heart lets me know we are match for life.” Tareq smiled.

We started to make out. Our bodies needed each other.

“Should I give you two privacy?” Reyk surprised us.

“Yes, like ten minutes ago!” Tareq growled. I laughed. Reyk left.

“We should go back out there. Everyone came here for us.” I yawned and laid against his chest as he balanced me on the edge of the counter.

“They see I propose to you. They clap, they eat, they dance. They are fine.” Tareq leaned back into me and slid his hand down the back of my pants.

“I need you.” I whimpered when his teeth brushed that spot on my neck that made my hole start to buzz. I reached down and felt his cock rising in his pants.

“Come. We find private.” He put both hands on my ass and lifted me off the counter. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held on.

He carried me into one of the stalls which were like tiny private rooms with a toilet and full door. He set me on my feet then turned to secure the door.

He turned back to kiss me, but I sank to my knees and went for his belt. I felt this urgency to get his seed. I may have just been horny, but I was going to blame the baby for this.

“You need what pacify you, my love?” he asked. He looked down at me as I fumbled with his belt and buttons.

“Yes, sir.” I looked up and our eyes met as his pants fell to his ankles. I pulled his boxer briefs next, peeling them down his muscled thighs until I got his in the face by his thick cock.

“Take what is yours. Daddy never say no to his little love.” Tareq put his hand on the back of my head and guided it until my lips touched his tip.

I opened and he slid into me. My tongue wrapped the underside of his shaft as the tip glided along the roof of my mouth until it got too far and made me gag. He did not have a beginner cock. He demanded a certain level of expertise that I didn’t have, but I wanted it and I’d work to get it.

“Too much for my little one. Daddy will control.” Tareq eased me back, keeping his cock inside me. He pushed his fingers through my hair and gripped it to hold me still and then started to fuck my mouth gently. He stretched my lips with his ample meat. I tasted his leaking precum, a thick salty mixture that made me want the real stuff.

I looked up at him as his eyes studied me. He always did that when we had sex. He studied me, not wanting to hurt me. He was convinced that because I was a smaller, twinkish guy that he’d break me if he wasn’t careful. Part of me loved that kind of care, but a bigger part of me wanted to be the kind of boy he could really let it go with. I wanted to be the kind of boy he could pound into the mattress, at least once.

“So good. You worship my cock.” Tareq kept up a steady rhythm and slowly pushed my throat a little more.

“Inside me, please.” I whined when he slid out and let me gasp for air.

“Your little hole begs for daddy? What does it say?” He smirked. He could see my desperation, my need for him. He knew he had the only thing that could satisfy me, at least the only one I wanted to satisfy me.

“It says please fuck me, daddy.” I whispered. We were still alone in the restroom, as far as I could tell, but it wasn’t exactly soundproof.

“Daddy grants the request,” he joked. “Come.” He tugged on my arm so I’d get to my feet.

He turned me so my back was to him. He undid my pants and pushed them down with my briefs then leaned me forward. I put my hands on the back of the toilet and leaned forward. I felt his hands rub my ass and then I felt his tongue inside me. He spit and then pushed it in with his tongue to warm me up.

One of the weirdest things about this pregnancy was how my hole seemed to open for him and not need a ton of lube. I wondered if it was just another strange side effect. He definitely filled me and stretched me, but it felt like something out of the ordinary.

He worked my hole, lighting the fire inside me that warmed my whole body. His tongue pushed in circles, and I started to get weak as he worked me open.

“Please. Now, daddy.” I begged. I felt weird calling someone that, but he seemed to push it and I was in no position to argue.

Tareq got to his feet and put a hand on my back to keep me in place. I turned to see him spit on his cock. Hung guys like to do that. It fell directly on the tip like he’d practiced this in his early years. He smoothed it over the fat cock and lined it up with my hole.

“Oh fuck yeah. That’s it,” I whined as he started to push inside me. He put his hands on my hips and pushed into me slowly.

“You feel so good. We not try this position. I do not like to not see your face.” Tareq put a hand on my neck and turned me so I could look back at him. He leaned down and kissed my cheek while massaging my neck and pushing inside me.

“So good,” I whimpered. He held me while sliding inside me and then put a hand under me to grip my cock.

“You are hard. This feels good?” He started to stroke me. His lips found my ear and he started to bite and suck on it as his cock stretched me.

He got as much in as he wanted and then started to slide back. He pushed in and out, hitting every pleasure spot he could. I started to twist and squirm as he filled me with pleasure. He let go of my cock and rubbed my stomach, holding me steady as he started to plow me.

“Dylan? You in here?” Wes interrupted us as he came into the restroom.

We froze with his cock inside me.

“Yeah. I’m uhhh… All good. Five more minutes.” I called out.

“Oh my god! You guys are… Ok. I got this. I’ll keep people out.” Wes laughed.

“Thank you. I buy you reward of your choice,” Tareq promised.

“Not necessary. Just stop getting knocking up my friends.” I heard the door close as he left.

“He is good friend.” Tareq laughed.

“The best. Now do your job please… daddy.” I needed a few more minutes of him.

“Daddy will do the job.” He started to pound me there over the toilet. He leaned over me, holding me against him as his cock pistoned my hole. He started to speed up and pound me. It send me into overdrive and my body rippled with electric pulses. If he hadn’t been holding me so tightly, I would have collapsed.

“I’m gonna…” I started to say, but my body was ahead of me. I started to shoot.

“I cannot control when your hole feel this good.” Tareq let out this deep growl and I felt his cock erupt inside me. He shoved in deeper, filling me with the seed my body craved.

“Fuck,” he hissed. “My boy. Take what daddy give you.” He fucked deeper, pushing his cum up into me so I could get all I needed. My body filled with warm waves of pleasure.

I finished emptying my nuts then got that brain click where I felt a wash of peaceful comfort. I was his.

“Baby so good. No one ever feel this in me,” he said weakly. He kept his cock buried in me and rubbed my stomach.

He backed up, keeping me impaled on him then sat back on a tiled ledge along the wall. He kept me in his lap and kissed my neck while we recovered.

I knew we needed to get cleaned up and get back to the party, but he seemed perfectly happy to just stay there with me in his arms.

This was perfect.

17: Goof Balls

I fell asleep in Tareq’s car on the way home. He drove Wes and Ishaq back from the engagement party while Reyk went in the limo with Mr. & Mrs. Zakar.

Wes had gotten friendlier with Ishaq while guarding the men’s room door while Tareq and I were exploring each other inside. Wes told Ishaq I had food poisoning so we needed to keep other people from going in there. They’d totally bonded over the game of directing guys to other restrooms.

Ishaq was 21 and and very cute. I knew he played soccer for the university here. He was just a little shorter than Tareq and in very good shape. Wes looked at him with starry eyes and an unwavering smile. I wondered if he would end up pregnant soon too.

The two of them filled the backseat with laughs while I’d leaned over to rest my head on Tareq’s shoulder. He took a scenic route home; going up into the mountains to offer the best views of the city. We had the windows down and the night breeze combined with a soft pop station on the radio pulled me to sleep.

I woke up in the garage of Tareq’s home. He was trying to gently remove me from the passenger seat, but hit his head on the ceiling of the car when he tried to lift me out. He cursed in Arabic, but brought me up into his chest with a solid hold. Ishaq and Wes were waiting for us outside the garage.

“My house is just a few blocks. I can walk.” He was talking to Wes.

“Take the car.” Tareq tossed him the keys.

“We could go out. It’s still early.” Wes shrugged.

“No. Is too late. You are under my father’s protection. Boys should not be out at night. He will not approve.” Tareq carried me towards them.

“True. Maybe tomorrow I can take you around?” Ishaq was undeterred.

“Dylan has appointment at 11. I will take him so you two may go as you wish and have fun day.” Tareq rubbed my back while he supervised them.

“Can you put me down?” I whispered to him as the other two guys flirted.

“We are almost to bed. I like carry you. Is good practice for the baby.” Tareq started to bounce me lightly.

“If the baby is 120 pounds then we will have some problems. Put me down. This is weird.” I yawned.

Tareq set me on my feet and we watched as the limo drove up carrying the rest of the household. Mrs. Zakar went inside with a simple wave to us while Mr. Zakar and Reyk came over to see why we were standing around outside the garage.

“You feel better?” Reyk asked as he came to inspect me. 

He felt my forehead and made a big show for Mr. Zakar to see he was earning his place here.

“Terrible, he does not feel well in his own party. I hope a night of rest will help. You should get him to bed.” Mr. Zakar said to Tareq as if we hadn’t been headed there.

“I am taking him to bed right away,” Tareq assured.

“If you need anything, text me.” Reyk gave me a hug and then went to his room.

Mr. Zakar talked to Ishaq in Arabic while Tareq took my hand and pulled me towards our house. Wes stayed with the other two men. He wanted to get as much Ishaq time as possible.

+++–+++

Tareq woke me up the next morning to go for my early workout with Reyk. We put on our gym clothes then went to the Zakar’s home gym where Reyk was already doing yoga poses and playing peaceful music. He led us through stretches and then Tareq went to do his weights while Reyk and I took the treadmills next to the windows with a beautiful view of the water.

“What’s the appointment at 11 for? Is it Dr. Rammat again>” I asked Reyk, remembering what Tareq had said the night before.

“I have no idea, but it’s not baby related. He’s sending me to the Brega Club for a spa day. I’ll be chilling with the super elites. I love this job! I always heard about assignments like this, but never thought I’d score one. Usually the super rich are super drama. You’ve been a dream to monitor and everyone here is so nice.” Reyk grinned. Maybe it wasn’t baby related.

We finished with our daily routine where he weighed me, checked my breathing and other medical stuff to add to my file for Dr. Rammat to review. We ate breakfast with the Zakars before heading out for the day.

“Where are we going? What’s the appointment for?” I asked when we got to Tareq’s car.

“Very important appointment, no questions please.” Tareq put me in the passenger seat and got us on the road.

“I can ask questions about my own medical care.” I defended. 

“True, but this is fun surprise so no questions.” He kissed me before driving out of the circle.

We drove out past the airport and away from the coast then exited onto a wide boulevard with shopping centers and new apartments. It looked like Phoenix with straight boulevards and flat areas with mountains poking up in the distance.

“Woah. What is this place?” I asked. It looked very different from the city where we’d been.

“The middle class area. My father help to develop it back 20 years ago. They try to look like USA. See?” Tareq pointed at a large marquee over the entrance to a neighborhood that read “Hollywood Hills.” The entrance road was called Rodeo Drive.

“That is so funny!” I felt this weird butterfly in my stomach. It looked almost like home.

“This place has the hot dogs. We not tell Reyk I am serve you this! He will not approve.” Tareq laughed and pulled into a restaurant called Uncle Sam’s Grill. It has a giant Eagle on the logo and was located in the “Empire Center,” a small shopping center with a handful of restaurants in front of a grocery store. 

It was sterile, generic suburbia. It looked like home. 

The place was a little fancier than fast food. We had to order at our table, but the menu looked just like a fast casual place back home except with their dietary restrictions and flavors.

“They have an arcade! Megadon! We have to play. Oh and a crane machine! I never win with those, but I can’t resist them.” It was so dumb but I was so excited. Wes would love this place, but he was probably attached to Ishaq right now.

“We will play after the lunch. What do we order? My baby needs food for the baby.” Tareq looked over the menu and picked a hamburger and fries. I ordered a plain hotdog with mustard and sweet potato fries.

“This place is awesome! Look at the pictures! They did the US presidents dressed as clowns.” I would definitely need to bring Wes here. He’d announce every weird detail. 

“You like this neighborhood? They have good schools for our little creation, but I am sure my parents will insist on private. They were big donors to my school so I am sure Madrasat Baris will want our money back.” Tareq smiled.

“He should have the best,” I agreed. I hadn’t even thought about schools for the baby.

“He most certainly will. I am so excited to raise baby with you. You are so gentle and love so much. We will have happy home.” Tareq closed his menu and reached to take my hand.

“Where will we live? Your place is kind of lacking privacy. I love it though.” I realized we hadn’t had these important discussions.

“Is fine for baby. We can build something new or add room to the back house. You will want nursery for the baby and we will need room for our private times.” He squeezed my hand.

“Whatever you think is best. I think it would be good to stay within the compound though. I like the armed guards and beach and house staff. Your mom runs all of that, right? I don’t think I could handle all that. Especially not with a kid to take care of.” I sipped the water the waiter had brought us.

“I agree… And the wedding? My mother can book everything. She love to plan big party. She can do fancy or super fancy. Those are the settings.” Tareq pulled out his phone and started swiping around.

“Can we just like go and do it in Vegas or something? I mean I’m probably going to be getting big pretty soon, and I don’t think we can get my family here anyways.” The thought of planning a wedding turned my stomach.

“I understand. I promise you plan nothing and just show up, yes? This is more pleasing? You will be there and no need to look at who else is there, just you and me are important for this. We do not worry for this.” Tareq easily read my anxiety and put a stop to it.

“Perfect!” I smiled as the waiter brought our food and a variety of sauces. The hot dog was turkey, but it wasn’t bad. Tareq enjoyed his burger.

We finished our food and went to play some games. I got to show Tareq how to play Megadon, but he very quickly turned out to be much better than me at it. He got to level six before killing himself just so I wouldn’t feel bad. 

He let me try the crane game and I wasted three coins trying to get a stuffed duck wearing a black and white Keffiyeh before I gave up and let Tareq try it. He got it right away, of course.

“You want to try for other duck?” he grinned, looking sheepish at how easily he’d gotten him.

“It’s a waste of money with me. I used to beg my mom for one more dollar but I never actually won except for a little plastic squirrel toy that just kind of fell out on its own. My mom pretended I’d won and made a big show of it,” I laughed.

“Is not waste. I buy you machine for practice at home. Here, the duck is yours. All for my baby.” He placed the duck in my hand and we moved on to other games.

We both did well at skee-ball and he scored 90% on the basketball shoot. We cashed in our tickets for the cheapest prize we could afford, which was a tiny toy car.

“This was the best. Thank you so much,” I told him when we got back to the car. 

I put the Arab duck in the back seat and buckled him in while Tareq closed my door and went to the driver’s side.

We drove around the area for a bit then stopped at a park that wound around a little lake in the middle of a master-planned neighborhood. We got out and went for a walk. The area was peaceful and quiet. Tareq sprayed us with sunblock. The sun was out with just a few clouds in the sky, but the path was well-shaded by perfectly placed trees and had a few misters along the way to keep us cool.

We had a good talk as we rounded the lake. He asked if I liked Reyk and wanted to keep him around. I told him Reyk was obviously trying to score his way into a rich marriage, but he was nice to me and good at keeping me healthy. I felt safe with him. 

Tareq said he was well aware of Reyk’s ambitions, but would keep him on as long as I wanted. He said Reyk had good manners with the family and his mother approved.

“What do you think Wes is up to with Ishaq? Your cousin is just his type; tall, strong, quiet. Do you think they’ll get along?” I asked as Tareq drove back towards the highway.

“I hope good things happen. He is a good friend to you. I like him very much. Ishaq is nice, a better man than when I was his age. Hopefully he is well behaved or I will correct him.” Tareq reached for my hand as he drove. 

He interlaced his fingers with mine and put them on the gear shifter. 

“Wes deserves a good guy, but I don’t think he’ll want to stay here. He’s way more social than I am. He has his LGBTQ group stuff and he plays on a tennis league.” I leaned across the console to put my head on his shoulder.

“We have tennis here. We have same-gender couples as well. I will invite some! We show him there is much fun here. Is nice place to spend a life with one you love. I know you are happy here as well.” Tareq sounded confident.

“It’s not bad. I’m starting to get into it. Today was really nice.” I yawned. It was nap time.

+++–+++

We went home and caught a nap before dinner. Everyone gathered at the large dining table including Reyk who was glowing from his spa day. He came to check on me then sat on the other side of Tareq to go over something on his iPad.

Wes came in with Ishaq who looked very pleased to be there. Wes looked very happy, and a bit sunburned.

They sat next to me, but Mr. Zakar looked displeased and said something in Arabic.

“The boy does not speak our language,” Tareq explained to his father.

“I was talking to Ishaq,” Mr. Zakar responded and then translated for himself, “I say that he brings the boy back with sunburn. This is not acceptable.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t have any and I forgot. I burn quickly” Wes looked like he had just committed a major crime. I reached over and put my hand on his.

“Is not your fault. You do not know better, but he is from here and should look out for our guests. The sun is very harsh here. My workers always pack this in your day pack. It is very important here.” Mr. Zakar looked at Ishaq with that disappointed dad face.

“It was with the towels. My mistake. I’ll remember next time.” Wes looked down.

“I will have a worker bring you some soothing gel. It is not your fault.” Mr. Zakar offered Wes a smile.

Ishaq said something in Arabic and Mr. Zakar nodded to accept it. This was a weird situation

18: The Echo

“Dylan should be there. He will go,” Tareq insisted.

“Of course he is welcome. I only meant that he may not want to go in his condition.” Mrs. Zakar countered.

We were all seated at breakfast and going over what everyone was doing that day. I loved that this family shared meals and discussed what was going on. Back home, I usually ate breakfast alone and dinner on the couch with Aunt Hilda while we watched something together.

Today, Mrs. Zakar had her monthly lunch with “the wives.” Each of her sons now had a partner, and her daughter had a wife as well. They had lunch once a month to go over the social calendar and discuss the charities they ran. This was the first I was hearing about it and I had no interest in attending.

“I was going to hang out with Wes today.” I whispered to Tareq.

“Actually… Ishaq invited me to watch his soccer practice. He offered to show me around the university. I could do that while you do this and then we can have a movie night or something?” Wes looked at me with pleading eyes.

“Oh. Ok then.” I definitely had no right to deny him a fun day chasing a hot guy. He’d more than been there for me when I needed him.

“And I have some work to catch up on as well. It will be good for you to bond with them. They barely know you and you are just as important in this family. You will go.” Tareq sounded unusually firm.

“The workout is easy this morning. I’ll help you choose what to wear!” Reyk interjected. He wouldn’t be joining me so this meant more free time for him.

“It will be good. You will enjoy the others.” Tareq offered a quick smile then returned his attention to emails on his phone.

+++—+++

By noon, I was sitting in the front room waiting for Mrs. Zakar. Reyk had picked out black pants and a button-up shirt that would help me fit in at whatever fancy place we were going.

“You look very nice,” Mr. Zakar said as he passed me coming out of his office.

“Thank you, sir. Big lunch!” I took a breath.

“You will do fine. Just sit quietly and let my wife bulldoze everyone.” He laughed. He patted my head and went off towards the kitchen.

The driver took us to a resort on a hillside looking over the city. We were led by a waiter up to a private room with a large table and soaring windows. Fancy places always need a view.

Luca was sipping a cocktail by the window while the wives were huddled over an iPad and discussing something in Arabic. They all snapped their attention up when Mrs. Zakar walked in with me behind her. The General had arrived.

They all stood and came towards her to exchange cheek kisses and smiles. It was an interesting group of spouses. With my addition, the same-gender spouses outnumbered the heterosexual ones; though that didn’t seem to be an issue here at all.

I moved in and got cheek-kissed by all of them. They didn’t seem to want much to do with me except for Luca. Mrs. Zakar sat me to one side and Annika, Tareq’s sister Tala’s wife, on her other side. Luca sat next to me and the other two wives, who’d never spoken to me or maybe didn’t know any English, sat between him and Annika.

Mrs. Zakar said something in Arabic and everyone pulled out their phones. I watched Luca swipe to open a calendar app so I pulled out my phone and did the same.

I saw I had a text from Tareq. It was heart emojis and a quick message wishing me luck. I started to text him back, but his mother interrupted me.

“I expect you to focus if you are to participate.” She did not approve of my texting.

“Yes, ma’am.” I quickly went back to the calendar.

“Give your phone to Annika. She will log you into the shared calendar.” Mrs. Zakar nodded towards her other side.

I handed over my phone and got it back with a full calendar of reminders and events… in Arabic. I’d need Tareq’s help with this.

They went through events and debated things in their language while I nodded happily and zoned out.

“You really don’t want to contribute anything to your wedding plan?” She suddenly asked me as I watched a ship sail by in the distance.

“Oh, me! Well… uh… Tareq said you wanted to plan something. I don’t have a vision or anything. Something small would be great. I think you have vision… Tareq said.” I tried to reiterate that Tareq had said this.

“Yes of course I’d love to throw together a grand wedding with no assistance in a very short time frame.” Her sarcasm had a razor’s edge to it.

“I thought just something simple. We can go to the courthouse and then have dinner somewhere with the family. Oh! We found this cool American restaurant with arcade games out in the suburbs. That would be fun for your grandkids.” I tried to assure her I didn’t want much.

She looked at me with horrified eyes and took a deep breath of exhaustion. 

“This is a wedding, Dylan; not a child’s birthday party. Our large party guest list nears 600 people, and they will all expect to attend. This is my son and people will be offended if they aren’t invited. They’ll think we don’t care or are suddenly poor. We are at the top of the social ladder. This needs to be an event that fits the occasion. Do you want Tareq to be shamed?” She looked at me like I shot Lincoln.

“I didn’t think…” I started, but I had no idea how to respond.

“You certainly didn’t. You show up here and get pregnant with my son’s baby and then expect things to be done for you. It’s shameful enough that you are pregnant without a wedding. You don’t even wish to lift a finger to try and fix this and save us from embarrassment.” Mrs. Zakar was pissed at me.

“I didn’t mean…” I started again, but she was not finished.

“My family worked hard to get where we are and the country expects that everything we do will have the grace and style befitting our name. You do not know the planning, the work, the management it takes to keep this moving. Everyone at this table has earned their place and none of them expected to sit here and have things done for them.” She looked like she was about to cut me.

I looked down at the table silently. I was way out of place here. I had nothing to offer them and I didn’t even speak the language needed to participate in this. I wanted to run home and find Wes. He always knew what to say. I shut down and fought to not cry. Crying would be the least helpful thing to do here.

She stopped talking to me and turned back to her calendar meeting. Everyone went on with it like nothing had happened. Of course I didn’t belong here so why would they care?

I breathed for a minute and collected myself. I slowly scooted my chair back. No one noticed so I scooted it a little more.

“Restroom,” I whispered and got up from the table.

“Where are you going? Don’t mumble,” she barked.

“Restroom,” I repeated. None of the other “wives” would look me in the eyes. 

“Hurry up. We will not wait for you.” She turned back towards the group and I walked away.

I went out and down a stairway by the restrooms until I found the lobby. I had no idea where to go and I wasn’t about to text Tareq. He’d done this to me. He’d gotten me pregnant and trapped me in this severely fucked up situation. He knew I didn’t want to come to this lunch. He hadn’t even asked me.

I opened the tracking app on my phone and saw he was a few blocks away. I’m not good with locations here, but it didn’t look far. I debated walking over there to yell at him.

“Do you need help?” A hotel worker offered when he noticed I was standing around fidgeting with my phone.

“No thank you.” I said. I needed to think. I needed some space.

I went out and down the sidewalk that paralleled a busy road. I walked down the hill where there was a big shopping center. I found a coffee shop next to a cute stationary store. Luckily Tareq had put emergency cash in my wallet. This was an emergency.

I ordered a juice and a pastry with some kind of yellow fruit in the middle. I sat down at a table in the courtyard to think. How had my life gotten so off course? I wished so much that I could be back home riding a bus to work right now.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered to my stomach. I reached down and rubbed where the baby was growing.

I had to think about him in all of this. I was starting to get used to him there. He didn’t do much, but I could feel him like a constant hum in the background. He was there and growing and I needed to try my best to not bring him into a disaster situation. He deserved better.

My phone started to buzz. It was Tareq calling. Of course he would know where I was. He could see me like I could see him. I hit the ignore button on the call. He could find me if he wanted me. I sat back and sipped my juice while watching people go in and out of the stores around.

Tareq found me about five minutes later. Our eyes met and I immediately looked down at my uneaten pastry. His eyes were frantic and his cheeks were red. He came and stood in front of me then took a deep breath.

“You cannot,” he started, but I cut him off.

“Don’t… just don’t. I’m done.” I shook my head.

“Done with what? Tell me what happens… my love.” He came and squatted in front of me; putting his hands on my thighs.

“I didn’t even want to go to this thing. She is so mean to me, but she’s right. I don’t belong here. You keep trying to force me into this family that doesn’t want me. I need to go home. I’m going home.” I tried to sound confident in my resignation.

“What does she do to you? She is mean to my heart?” Tareq grabbed a chair and sat directly in front of me. “Tell me so I can help.”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t even care. I want to go home. I’ll have my baby in Tucson with my family. I don’t want to raise him around these people.” I took a sip of my juice and swallowed the lump in my throat.

“My people?” he asked.

“Your family. You guys have money and class and celebrity and that’s great. I don’t want to mess this up for you. I just want to go home and have my baby. Please help me get a ticket.” I tried to smile to show him I was ok.

“You can not just have the baby. It require surgery. He has no exit, my love.” He looked at me like I was crazy.

“We have hospitals. I’ll figure it out. It’s not your concern. I’ll be ok.” I picked at the pastry and avoided his eyes.

“We can move to apartment in the city here. You do not need to see my mother every day. I should not have force that on you today. I will handle this with her. She is not ok to be mean to you,” he urged.

“That won’t help. She’ll pretend to be nice and then get revenge on me in private. I don’t need that kind of crazy. I’m not looking to fight with her. It’s stupid and not good for the baby,” I tried to reason with him.

“Ok. You will not see her. I get apartment for us. We can do simple wedding like you wish for.” Tareq reached to cover my right hand with his.

“Oh. The ring. Right.” I took my hand back and took his ring off. “This is yours. It’s way too expensive and I don’t need it.”

I set his ring next to the uneaten pastry. I wondered if it was kiwi or starfruit.

“The ring is yours. I buy for you to wear for life. You will be my partner and we raise our child together.” His voice started to crack. He wasn’t used to rejection.

“Dude. I am so not getting married. I’m way too young for this. I didn’t even want to have a baby. I love him now, but this was your choice, not mine. You gave me no choice in this baby. You gave me no choice in this wedding. You did this to me and never asked what I wanted. I want my life back. I want my choices back. I want to not have to get yelled at by a lady who acts like I stole my way into this family when I didn’t even get a choice. I didn’t ask for any of this, but now I’m demanding you leave me alone and let me go.” I was feeling my feet.

“I make this up to you. I make sure she know there is boundary with you to not cross. I will keep you separated. I fix this. I am man and I protect my family. You and our baby are my only priority,” he pleaded with a look of frustration.

“Please just let me go. I’m not even angry with you. I only want out of here. I want my baby to grow up around good people who will love and support him and let him find his own path without having to be some super celebrity with obligations and social standing. It’s a lot of pressure.” I rubbed my stomach, his hum felt my sadness.

“Our child will have the best of everything. I know my mother can be hard, but my father is sweet to you. He will be very upset with her. We can discuss with her and make sure she know she does not cross line with you. I promise I fix this. I promise you. I promise. Do not go from me. I need you.” His voice choked on the last words. I looked up to see his eyes looking full and heavy.

“I’m going home. The baby needs me and I’m not doing ok here. I need to get my life together so he can come into a happy situation. I can’t have this kind of craziness going on. It’s hurting him. I can feel his sadness echoing mine.” I reached for Tareq’s hand and moved it to my stomach.

“Let us take a break. Ok? We take a break. You take rest and relax. My child need happy Dylan. I need happy Dylan. The world need happy Dylan. We get hotel, we talk, we work this for better solution. Yes? 24 hours please.” He put his hand on my cheek.

His touch felt so good. I rubbed my face against his palm. I nodded. His touch unleashed the tears I was holding back. I started to cry and he moved in on me, lifted me out of the chair and hugged me tightly.

“I am so sorry you hurt. I am sorry my mother offend you. You are sweet, gentle boy who never disrespect anyone. You are kind soul and I will protect you. We take break and make you to feel better.” He kissed my neck and held onto me.

I didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t going to be an easy exit.

19: Wes Learns Everything!

“What did you say when she said all that?” Wes asked with wide eyes when I told him about the lunch craziness with Tareq’s mom.

“Nothing. I left.” I looked over at Tareq who had set up his laptop on a table near the window. He was into his work and half-listening while I rehashed the drama for Wes.

He’d gotten us a suite at a hotel built on a resort island off the coast. The suite had two bedrooms so Wes was going to stay with us. Tareq had the workers bring over our things.

“So awkward. What do you want to do? Do you think you’ll make up with her?” Wes asked.

“We will get apartment here. When baby is born we can move where Dylan desire, but the medical care he need is here. I will keep him separate from my mother.” Tareq answered for us.

Wes and I were sprawled out on the couch flipping through tv channels.

“I don’t know. I really want this baby to have the best doctors. What if something goes wrong? I don’t want something bad to happen to the baby just because my feelings got hurt.” I shook my head.

“True… do you want me to stay here with you? I wouldn’t mind. I can make sure I am always with you when you’re around her. I’ll put her in her place. Plus… I really like Ishaq. He’s so different from Tucson guys. He’s like… everything I want in a guy. I can’t go back,” Wes cooed with a blissful smile.

“Yes! Please! This would go so much better with you here. You have to stay.” I leaned over and put my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me and made me feel better.

“Wes should speak with his family before make decision like this. Is big thing to commit,” Tareq called from his work table.

“You don’t get a vote. I need my friend.” I was still angry with him.

“He’s right though. My parents might not be cool with it, but at least they’ve seen the family. They really loved your engagement party. I’ll call and talk to them.” Wes tried to calm the situation.

I thought about the engagement ring Tareq had given me. He’d put it in his zipper wallet when we’d left the coffee shop. We hadn’t discussed it, and I hoped he’d let it go.

A knock on the door to our suite revealed a very worried Reyk.

“What is going on? You were so happy when I helped you get ready this morning. How are you feeling? This is not good for the baby.” Reyk looked at me with concern.

Wes filled him in on the drama. I didn’t want to rehash it. Reyk looked at me with compassion.

“Ok… We’ll take a break for a few days here, but the Zakar compound really is the best place. You have the private gym and the chef who knows your nutrition needs. And Mr. Zakar adores you. I’m sure he can keep distance between you and the grandmother.” Reyk started.

“We do not speak of this right now. My Dylan needs rest. If you speak of it, you will leave. I need my Dylan to settle. The boys want to watch a movie and relax.” Tareq stopped him.

Since the coffee shop, he’d turned into a guard dog ready to destroy anyone who threatened my calm.

“Of course. Rest and relaxation. Did you look at the menu of spa treatments they have here? We can go for a massage. They’re supposed to be world-class at this place. That will help recenter you.” Reyk moved towards a leather book propped up behind the tv that showed all of the services.

“I don’t want some stranger touching me.” I shook my head. Massages creeped me out.

“Of course not. I do not want this either. I will touch my boy as he needs.” Tareq agreed.

“Ok. I guess we’ll watch a nice movie then. I’ll check your vitals. Did you at least eat lunch during this whole thing?” Reyk asked as he went for his backpack.

“No. I did buy a pastry at the coffee shop,” I told him.

“You can’t eat that kind of sugar, sweetie.” Reyk was annoyed with me.

“I didn’t eat it. I just ordered it. It looked good though.” I shrugged.

“Dylan! You haven’t eaten since this morning, and you barely touched your breakfast. Your body needs nutrition. It is working double-time right now. That’s why you don’t feel like getting off the couch.” Reyk turned into a mom on a rampage.

“Do not upset him. The menu is there. Let’s order food for everyone.” Tareq stood and went for the leather book.

“He’s just doing his job.” I reached for Tareq as he passed me. Reyk wasn’t the enemy.

Tareq was intent on showing me he could protect me from people upsetting me. It was completely misguided, but sweet. He opened the leather resort book to the dining page and handed it to Reyk.

Soon the living room was filled with salads and meat and a big bowl of popcorn for the movie we were going to  watch. Tareq signed off on the receipt and came to sit by me on the couch.

“Ok I can get into this. Food, movie, friends. It’s not too unhealthy. But I ordered a special breakfast according to your plan. Tomorrow we are going to do a good workout before your checkup.” Reyk poured a glass of wine for himself and one for Tareq. Wes and I got watermelon juice.

Wes got to pick the movie so we ended up watching the latest action movie where King Kong fights Dracula while a high school football player is the key to getting rid of them both. Titan Swift plays the high school football player who helps the Navy Seals defeat the monsters. Wes is super in love with Titan Swift.

“Titan looks just like Ishaq! Doesn’t he? So cute! Ishaq has his mannerisms too. He’s so smooth, no Cap.” Wes gushed.

Tareq scoffed with an audible “pft!”

“You don’t think Titan is hot? I like when he fights.” I pointed to the screen where Titan was punching a bad guy.

“This is a child! He has gym muscles but terrible form. He will cry if any hit him! He is little soft boy who plays dress up.” Tareq put is arm around my back and pulled me into his strong chest.

“I am soft boy?” I asked him as I rubbed my cheek against his chest.

“You are my boy. You are as soft as you need to be.” Tareq was being extra sweet.

“You’d be surprised to find out how strong I can be.” I shot back.

“You do not need to be strong. I will fight to my last breath for you.” He kissed up my neck and rubbed a hand down my back to squeeze my ass.

I settled into his arms and quickly drifted off to sleep.

+++—+++

The next morning I woke up to Wes using my pillow and sleeping in our huge bed. He had his mouth slightly open and a little line of drool had dried on his cheek.

I stared at him from across Tareq’s chest. Wes was hugging squishy cactus and facing us. I don’t remember him coming to our bed, but I guess Reyk was using the other bedroom.

I sat up and looked down at Tareq passed out underneath me. He started to stir when I wiggled out of his hold.

“How did Wes get here?” I whispered as Tareq blinked up at me.

“You fall asleep in second movie so I carry you to bed when it finish. Wes follow me when I lift you. I think he was too sleepy to think. Reyk use other bedroom. I thought was ok so I let him sleep there.” Tareq yawned.

“It’s fine. We should wake up though.” I said this but then laid back down against his warm chest.

“Few more minutes to hold my baby. You have bad day yesterday. I feel hurt that she hurt you. I do not sleep well. Is much to think about.” Tareq kissed my hair and held me.

“It just got to me. She acted like I planned all of this. Like I schemed my way into her perfect family. They all think that. No one defended me. I felt like some scheming gold digger and I didn’t know how to respond.” I sighed.

“Is not for you to respond. You are gentle boy who does not attack.” Tareq rubbed my bottom and rubbed his nose against my hair.

“I just hate that they think that I did this. I didn’t do this and I can’t even tell them the truth or it would get you into trouble. There’s no way to win here and it sucks.” I shook my head.

“Is time I am a man and stand up for you. I will speak to her. She will know the truth that you do not plan this. I can not allow that you take the anger for my deception. A man does not let his love take the blame. They will know the truth. I trick you into this baby. You do nothing wrong.” Tareq kissed my forehead.

“You tricked him?” Wes had woken up and heard everything.

I raised off of Tareq’s chest. We’d forgotten he was there and we weren’t exactly whispering.

Wes looked at me with concern as things started to click together in his brain.

“I knew it! You never wanted to have kids. I knew it! What did he do to you?” Wes was wide awake now.

“I did it. I give him pills for start the process and he did not know until the pregnancy arrived. He think was pill to help him sleep.” Tareq sat up and started to explain.

He told Wes the whole process and even told him how he’d found me in the DNA database and tracked me down.

“What is wrong with you? That’s fucked up! You’re an asshole, dude!” He got out of the bed and glared at Tareq.

“He’s not an asshole. He just…” I started, but Wes wasn’t finished.

“And you’re just ok with this? Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your best friend!” Wes turned his rage to me.

“Is not Dylan fault. He does nothing wrong. He try to protect me from everyone. He is good boy who is tricked.” Tareq put his hands up to try and calm Wes.

“I’m sorry Wes. I should have told you. I didn’t want you to hate Tareq.” I had no good reason for lying to him.

“You always make excuses when people hurt you, but this is really bad, Dyl. He drugged you and got you pregnant and then pushed you right into the line of fire with his family so you wouldn’t want to stay here. He’s prepping you to be worn down and give in to what he wants. He’ll send you home and keep the baby for himself. We need to get a lawyer and sort this out.” Wes paced around angrily.

“I’m not getting a lawyer. He’s not going to steal my baby. He made a mistake and he’s going to fix it. I just want to have my baby. I don’t want a big crazy drama.” I got out of the bed and went towards Wes.

“Bro, he lied about everything. You really think he’s going to let you leave here with the baby after it’s born? What’s to stop him from kicking your ass out once you give him a son? There’s literally like 30 movies with this same scenario. He’s done nothing to earn your trust. You are way too trusting.” Wes worked up a big conspiracy theory. He loved those.

“You think I will do this?” Tareq looked at us with wild eyes.

“Well neither of us thought you’d drug him and get him pregnant. So… yeah! Your honor is pretty much shit to us. Don’t be stupid, Dylan. You want this baby, you need to be smart about it. My dad knows a good lawyer back home. We need to call him and get things rolling. And we need to get you out of here.” Wes started looking for his phone.

“Wait, wait. Let’s just take a breath here and calm down. This is spiraling.” I pulled on Wes’ arm.

“We should get to the embassy! That’s the first step or he’ll try to keep you here like in that movie we watched with the Italian guy.” Wes alluded to a movie we’d seen where an Italian guy kept a lady hostage until she fell in love with him. He had all the local cops on his side.

“Of course I will not do this! I am not even Italian! I go to tell my family the truth today. I will prove I can earn your trust here. I want to marry Dylan. I want that we raise our baby together.” Tareq got out of bed wearing a pair of black boxerbriefs that showed off his ample bulge.

I lost focus for a minute, my body needed him. We hadn’t had sex since the day before yesterday and I was on edge with need.

“You can understand why we need a little more than that, right? Dylan needs to know his child won’t be taken away. You’ve given us every reason to think that could happen. Your word here means nothing.” Wes found his phone and swiped it open.

“I will give you proof then. Give me today to fix things. I will make this right. I will prove I can be good man for Dylan and my baby.” Tareq reached for me.

I looked at Wes and he paused and looked back at me.

“Let him do this first, ok?” I pleaded with him.

“Fine, but I have some conditions.” Wes looked between us and shook his head.

20: Mr. Zakar’s Promise

“He should have been back by now. Why isn’t he back?” I checked my phone for the 20th time.

“It’s not a simple conversation. His parents will be very angry and there is much to discuss.” Reyk put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me.

“Are you worried about you or worried about him? He deserves punishment and hopefully his parents are giving it to him. Maybe they took him to jail to turn himself in.” Wes was still furious with Tareq.

“Don’t say that. I know he was bad… but I need him. I can’t do this alone.” I’d spent the day worried that his parents would freak out and send me home with nothing.

“You have me. You have your aunt and family. If we go home, we’ll figure it out and sue their ass. Don’t forget they’re building those resorts in Tucson so they do have assets in the US.” Wes was ready to start something major.

“The Zakar family would never allow their heir to live in squalor. That child will never worry for money or care. They will rise to the occasion with this. You’ll see,” Reyk assured us.

“We will see. Can we go down for dinner? I’m starved.” Wes didn’t want to wait for Tareq.

“Give him ten more minutes. If he’s not back by 7 then we’ll go eat. Please just wait. I need to know what happened,” I pleaded with him.

We sat there while a cartoon played on the tv. None of us were watching it. We were too anxious about what would happen. This was big for us. Tareq was their youngest child, and seemed to be the one his mother paid the most attention to. She wasn’t used to being disappointed in him.

We heard a key swipe across the door and then the handle turned. Tareq came in and looked as if he’d just run a marathon. His father was right behind him, and looked at me with concern.

“Hello, Dylan. Can we speak please?” Mr. Zakar came towards me.

“Of course, sir.” I stood and he leaned in for a hug and kissed my cheeks.

“He hasn’t had dinner.” Wes interjected.

“Order whatever you wish. This will not take long.” Mr. Zakar nodded at Wes and offered a warm smile. Wes dove for the menu book as I followed Mr. Zakar back to the bedroom with Tareq behind me.

Near the window, there was a small sitting area with two chairs in the corner of our room. Mr. Zakar took one chair and waved his hand to the other as he said, “Please.”

“First. I apologize for the behavior of my wife. She did not know the truth. She will not be alone with you until you are on better terms, but I hope you will return to my home. You are very welcome and wanted there and I will personally assure you receive the best care from all you encounter.” Mr. Zakar had this gravitas to his voice that immediately eased my anxiety.

He sounded like he’d practiced this statement.

“Second. I apologize for my son. What he did to you is without excuse. You have more than proven your gentle and kind nature in not having him prosecuted. It is certainly not something my country would condone. You have every right to be angry and seek justice. My son was right to choose you for his mate, but terribly wrong to trick you into this.” He reached across and took my hand.

“I’m not angry. I mean I was, but not anymore. I just want my baby to be ok. I want him to be born here and get the care he’ll need.” I looked at Tareq who sat quietly on the edge of the bed. He looked like a kid waiting for his parents in the principal’s office.

“On that, we agree. He will have the best care and so will you. Additionally, I spoke with my lawyer to set up a fund for you in Arizona. Your aunt will receive instructions to access it. If you wish to go home after this, you will have the money for a comfortable life. If you stay, you will have that to spend as you please either way,” Mr. Zakar said.

“What about my baby? I can’t leave without him.” I didn’t care about money.

“Of course you can’t. Your baby is yours. I hope you will not want to leave, but we certainly can’t do anything to stop you. After his actions, Tareq has no right to ask this of you, but I hope you will want to stay. That is up to you.” Mr. Zakar looked surprised I would think they’d keep my baby.

“Thank you.” I nodded.

“Additionally, my lawyer is preparing a confession and Tareq will sign this with notary witness. You will keep it in a safe place for insurance. My family will work to earn your trust.” Mr. Zakar had thought of everything.

“Thank you, sir.” I couldn’t stop the smile spreading across my lips. I felt my lungs open and I took a deep breath of relief.

“We will make this right. My wife is horrified. This is not the boy we raised. He loves you enough to confess though. I hope this will count with you.” Mr. Zakar held a profound sadness in his eyes. He was disappointed with Tareq.

“He’s a good man. He made a mistake. I know he loves me.” I felt the need to defend Tareq.

“He has said you do not wish to marry him. I urge you to think on this. It is for your own protection. We will not be asking for the prenuptial agreement. That would not be proper considering the circumstances. You will have the full benefits and protection of my family name. Please think about it.” Mr. Zakar got to his feet.

I stood too, but didn’t answer him. He hugged me again and kissed my cheeks again and patted my back before walking to the door.

“Thank you, sir.” I told him as he left. He stopped in the doorway and offered me a smile.

He said goodbye to Wes and Reyk before heading out.

“Tell me everything!” Wes demanded, but a knock at the door interrupted us.

A hotel worker wheeled in a tray of dishes and set them up at the table for us before wheeling back out with a tip from Tareq. 

“Ok. Now tell me everything!” Wes was not going to let this go.

Tareq filled him in on what his father promised me.

“A confession! Ok that’s good. That’s a start. What about child support?” Wes was ready to plan my whole future.

“Slow down. I don’t even know if we’ll want to raise him in Arizona or here.” I stopped Wes.

“You can’t stay here after all this. Be smart.” Wes started to look over the food.

“So what happened when you told your parents? Did they yell at you?” I looked at Tareq who had slumped in a chair during Wes’ tirade.

“I can hold you?” Tareq looked up at me with pitiful eyes. I went to sit in his lap and lay my head on his shoulder while Wes and Reyk checked out the food.

“I need this. Your touch calm me so quickly.” He smiled and kissed my neck before wrapping his arms around me.

“Are you ok? Were they too mean to you?” I nuzzled my nose under his chin.

“Of course they are upset. My mother cry. She say I shame them and am biggest disappointment of her children. I never face her wrath like this. My father show more concern for you. He says we must make this right and give you what is needed.He also holds shame for me.” Tareq rested his cheek against my forehead and rubbed my stomach where the baby was.

“He seemed like he’s ok now.” I shrugged. I really needed to get Tareq back to the bedroom for some together time. My body was running on empty.

“Of course he is sweet to you. He know my boy is good and decent and will do what is best for our baby. He see you do not seek revenge or big money from us. Your only concern is the child growing inside you.” Tareq closed his eyes and sighed.

“What are we going to name him? Maybe we could use your father’s name? Or my father? What’s the Arab equivalent of my dad’s name? That would be a good pick.” I thought of how happy my parents would have been to meet their grandchild.

My parents loved kids, but didn’t have more after me since I had a lot of health issues when I was born.

“Nathan would be Nasaan. Is good name. My father is Ahmed. He would be honored if you chose this name.” Tareq smiled.

“Maybe we do Ahmed for the first name and Nasaan for the second and Zakar for the last name.” I was cheering him up.

“Will you take my last name as well? Will make it easier for the child since he will be dark like me.” He looked at me with hope.

“Take your name like when we get married? We can think about that later… we should eat.” I slid off his lap and went to make a plate.

“My mother want to meet with you, obviously she know she was mistaken to vent her rage to you like this. She want to apologize.” Tareq told me when he came to get a plate of food for himself.

“No, no, no. Awkward! Can we just like ignore it and move forward? I really don’t want to see her, like ever again.” I turned to look at him.

“Yeah you can’t ask him to do that. That’s not cool. She can send a gift basket if she’s sorry. Isn’t that how rich people handle things?” Wes looked up from the table.

“A gift basket would be nice.” I nodded.

“Dylan, she’s going to be in your life and the baby’s life. You should go and hear her out. She was lied to as well.” Reyk chimed in because apparently everyone gets to give input on my life.

“Ok we forget about this for tonight. I should not bring it up… Maybe gift basket before apology meeting.” Tareq joked.

“With the good cheeses too, none of that ‘cheese spread’ crap,” Wes added.

“I actually liked that cheese spread when I was a kid. I felt fancy spreading it on crackers. My mom always had it at holiday stuff.” I missed my parents. They would have handled this really well. They always handled everything really well.

“Your mom had the best holiday parties. She used to always have bags of candy and little toys from the dollar store for the kids.” Wes loved my parents more than his because we always had good snacks.

“She would have really loved being a grandmother. She would have stolen the baby before I even got to hold him. She would have named him too… and dressed him. He would have loved her.” I set my plate down. He would never get the chance to meet her.

“Aww, Dylan. The ick wave is back?” Wes jumped up and ran over to me.

I nodded.

“Ick wave? What’s that?” Reyk looked confused.

“That’s what we call it. The first year or so after he lost his parents he’d get these random waves of crying like when he did something without them for the first time or we went to a restaurant they loved or he saw a commercial with a guy mowing the lawn who looked just like his dad. It’s ok, Dylan. Let it out.” Wes came over to hug me.

“My love.” Tareq set his plate down and came to join our hug as I started to tear up.

“Whenever we called an ick wave everyone would stop what they’re doing and give him a big hug. One time he called it in biology class and we got 35 people to hug him! It was a record.” Wes laughed. He was used to this.

“That’s so sweet! How did his parents die?” Reyk asked.

“Don’t fucking ask that. Jesus H. Christ!” Wes barked.

“Oh. right. I’m sorry, Dylan.” Reyk came over and took the last open piece of me to hug.

“It’s ok. I’m ok.” I assured them. Wes and Reyk backed off, but Tareq kept me in his hug.

“I love you so much. You are my world,” he whispered against my ear.

“You have to let him go or he’ll start crying again. Twelve-second rule,” Wes advised.

“Never. I never let my Dylan go. He will always have arms ready to hold him.” Tareq rubbed my back. It felt so good to be his.

“Let’s watch something while we eat,” Reyk suggested.

“Yes! I saw the newest Titan Swift movie is on here. Can we order it?” Wes asked.

“The one where he turns down the ugly girl and she gets a makeover and then turns him down?” I asked.

“No! It’s the one where he’s the nerd but then gets hot and turns down the girl! He looks so cute as a nerd!” Wes squealed like a twelve year old.

“I have work to catch up on, but you enjoy.” Tareq took his plate to the desk where his laptop was. We settled in for another Titan Swift film and ate our food.

21: It’s For The Beans

We spent four more days at the resort relaxing and avoiding anything that would upset me. I was getting tired of being the focus of everyone’s care. Ishaq came a few times to hang out with Wes. I liked getting to know him. He was a solid guy who seemed to really care for Wes. They were really starting to get into each other.

Every morning, Tareq woke me with the same two questions:

1: How is my boy feeling?  

2: Will my Dylan wear my ring?

The first two mornings he just asked the questions, but on the third day he tied the ring to squishy cactus’ right arm and stuffed it between my arm and his abdomen. 

On the fourth day, he just put the ring on my finger before I woke up. I didn’t notice it until we were eating breakfast and it clinked against my cup of orange juice.

“Dude!” I laughed when I looked down and saw the ring on my finger. “This thing is way too expensive to keep playing with. What if I didn’t notice and it slipped off when I was washing my hands?” 

“Please keep it there until I make you angry again. Ok? It does not mean we get married, just that you are pleased with me. It will be my check-in with you to know your feeling.” Tareq pleaded.

“Ohhhhkay,” I sighed like Eeyore. It put a big smile on his face.

He’d really been trying to make me happy. We got Reyk his own room in the resort so Wes could use the other bedroom in our suite. That meant we could get our bed back for some much needed bonding time. Something about daily sex with Tareq helped things improve dramatically. My body felt better, my sleep was longer, my muscles felt right, and things felt peaceful.

Tareq and Reyk took me to my doctor’s appointment while Wes went to watch Ishaq’s soccer game and hang out with him.

Today we were supposed to maybe see something on the scan. 

I was so excited because we’d only heard little movements or mumbles when the doctor used the machine that let us listen. It sounded so promising, but the doctor assured us it was just my breathing or my stomach rumbling. But today there was supposed to be enough growth to show something.

“What will he look like on the scan?” I asked Reyk as Tareq pulled into the parking garage.

“He might look like nothing. It’s hard to tell this early if he will show up. If he does, it could be a spot or a little wiggling bean. The new technology will show it big on the screen, but he’s still a tiny cluster of cells.” Reyk explained.

“Can wet get a picture of him?” I really wanted to see something.

“Of course. If he shows up then you’ll get as many as you like. They have a fantastic photo lab.” Reyk grabbed his bag as Tareq pulled up to the valet.

Tareq held my hand as we walked to the elevator and rode up to Dr. Rammat’s office. His finger rubbed back and forth across my ring.

We got into the exam room and Reyk started reviewing his data on me with the doctor. They were pleased that I’d gained one pound and was following the workouts.

“Let’s try your first scan!” Dr. Rammat said when he’d finished looking me over.

He walked us down the hall and then back to the elevator and then up to the top floor of the building where there was a specialty clinic. He talked to the receptionist in their language before leading us back to a small, brightly lit room with a glass booth.

He helped me inside the booth and then adjusted some metal arms on the back of it to bring this steel plate down. He centered it right on my stomach and then stepped out and closed the booth.

“This might tickle, but it is safe!” He moved to a panel on the wall and began to touch through a menu of items.

The machine whirred to life with a happy hum and my insides began to appear on the screen. I saw my stomach working it’s way through the breakfast I’d eaten. He zoomed in below it and focused on a small oval.

“That’s my baby?” I asked.

“That is where your baby is growing.” He zoomed in more and I started to feel the tickle he’d mentioned.

“He is here.” The doctor zoomed in more.

I looked at the squiggle and then at Tareq who was beaming with pride.

“He’s perfect! So beautiful! Oh my god. I love him!” I gasped and watched the little bean move to the right.

“There is another!” Dr. Rammat yelled.

“Two? There’s twins? I’m having twins?” I watched a second little bean appear.

“This should not be. Is possible the scan is not working properly. Hopefully it is just an image echo. Technology is not perfect.” Dr. Rammat did not look happy.

“Two boys. We will have two boys!” Tareq was ready to break open the booth to hug me.

“It’s possible. We’ll need to scan again next week. If it is two boys, then this may be complicated. It’s too early to celebrate. They might not both develop. This brings concerns.” Dr. Rammat was definitely not happy.

“For what? What’s going to happen?” I felt my chest sink and watched as the two little beans traded places on the scan.

“We don’t know yet. It is too early to worry, but also too early to celebrate. Let’s stay calm and check back next week. Reyk will have an adjusted plan and I will consult with the board for our next steps. This is very rare and maybe the machine is messing up, but it looks like two in there.” Dr. Rammat tried his best too look happy.

He printed a set of pictures for us to take and then led us back down to his office.

A nurse brought in a gift bag for us while the doctor reviewed my new plan with Reyk. Inside the bag was a small glass box labeled “3 Weeks.” Inside the box were two little plastic beans that looked like the babies on the scan.

“Our babies,” I said and held up the box.

“Beautiful! My little ones.” Tareq gave the box a little shake and the brand bumped against each other.

“Oh my god! Don’t shake the babies!” I grabbed the box back from Tareq and set it on the doctor’s desk.

“They are plastic. I will never shake the real babies. These are for practice. Now we know better, and I will not shake,” he assured me.

“I know. I’m so worried. What if something is wrong? Or what if it’s just one baby. I guess one is good, right?” I asked him.

“We do not think like that. We will focus on positive. Now we can use both father names!” Tareq pulled me into his lap and hugged me.

“I can’t name them yet. What if the one with my father’s name ends up dying or not developing. I can’t lose him again. This sucks.” I started to cry.

“Dylan, my baby. No! You cannot think like this.” Tareq squeezed me and rubbed a hand up to pet my hair.

“I can’t help it. I’m so tired of losing people.” I pushed my face into his shoulder.

“No no! Why are you crying? It’s too early to worry. We just need to get a few opinions and advice. Twins are rare in this procedure, but not unheard of. It will be ok. You will be strong and positive. Your babies need that.” Dr. Rammat came back over to us.

“My babies.” I repeated.

“Hold on to these.” He took the plastic box and put it back in my hand. “You need to be positive. We cannot go into this expecting the worst.”

I sniffled and looked at the little box with the little beans while Reyk wiped my nose with a tissue.

“We will be positive,” Tareq promised.

“We will be positive,” I repeated.

+++—+++

It was a quiet drive to lunch. I stared out the window as the bright sun baked the city. I held the beans in my lap while Tareq cruised along the seashore.

“We need to increase your protein, and I’m having new vitamins delivered to your room. We’re going to make sure you are as strong as possible for them. You’re going to look so hot with a baby bump.” Reyk tried to cheer me up.

“I’ve always wanted to look hot.” I said with sarcasm.

Tareq’s phone rang and soon Mr. Zakar’s voice filled the cabin of Tareq’s car. They talked in Arabic for a few minutes before Mr. Zakar changed over to English.

“We would love to see the pictures. Will you share them with us, Dylan?” Mr. Zakar asked me.

“Oh! Yes, sir of course. We um… did Tareq tell you what the doctor said?” I perked up at the sound of his reassuring voice.

“He did. We will get the best specialists in the world. This will be ok. Will you come for dinner soon? We would love to see you.” Mr. Zakar was trying to resolve the issues between me and Mrs. Zakar.

Tareq immediately jumped in and said something in Arabic before I could respond.

“Oh, yes. Ok well hopefully we will see you soon.” Mr. Zakar dropped it.

Tareq must have made some excuse for us. He was trying. I squeezed his hand in appreciation.

+++—+++

That night we heard a knock on the door of our suite that was a delivery guy. Tareq spoke with him and came into the living room with a huge basket covered in green cellophane.

“I think is for Wes.” Tareq said when he lugged it inside.

“Not for me?” I felt the disappointment slide across my face as Wes jumped up excitedly.

“Oh! Wait. Card is upside down. No. It say for Dylan.” Tareq laughed like that was an awesome prank.

“Well now you hurt Wes’ feelings.” I jumped up and went to look at it.

“It’s ok. You had a rough day… and I’ll steal what I want from it anyways.” Wes came to look. Tareq had filled him in on the doctor news about the twins.

“Is from my mother. She send note. You want I read it first?” Tareq put his hand on my back for support.

“You read, we open!” Wes was beyond excited.

“Please read it.” I smiled at Tareq. I didn’t care about gifts.

“Dylan,” Tareq began. “I cannot begin to express the regret I have for the way I treated you.”

“Oh the new PS84 gaming tablet! This doesn’t even come out in the US until next week!” Wes yelled excitedly.

“Shh I want to hear this. You keep opening things.” I pulled Tareq to the side so he could keep reading.

Wes started unwrapping the packages arranged in the gift basket. Usually a gift basket shows what was inside, but this one had a pile of individually wrapped packages in various shades of green.

“Like you, I fell for my son’s deception. I misjudged you based on a lie.” Tareq continued.

“Ok so It’s your fault she was rude?” I sighed. She wasn’t starting off that great.

“There’s crackers and cheese spread!” Wes called excitedly.

“Whatever the circumstances, I hurt you and I am truly sorry for my behavior. I hope I can work to earn your trust and friendship. I hope some day you can forgive me and see me as family.” Tareq read it like he was auditioning for the role of mother in a play.

“Well she did apologize! That’s good.” I nodded.

“There is more. Do you wish to read?” Tareq handed me the paper.

“Maybe later. I think it’s time to let this go.” I realized I had way too much on my plate to waste time fighting with his mom.

“You are forgiving boy.” Tareq put his arm around me and we went back to look at the gift basket.

“It’s a Bible. Like a fancy one.” Wes held it up with one eyebrow raised.

“She think you must be Christian and must forgive her.” Tareq explained.

“Well I used to be when I was a kid. It’s a nice gesture.” I took the Bible from Wes. It might be useful with all the craziness going on.

“Oh sick! These are the DJ Mezzo edition Vans!” Wes showed an open shoe box that held a pair of yellow vans with flying dragons embroidered around the top.

“This stuff is way too expensive! I can’t keep this.” I started to put things back into the basket.

“She is feel very guilty. Shopping cleanse her soul. It will be insult to give back.” Tareq stopped me.

“I guess I should accept the dinner invitation before this gets out of hand and I end up with a BMW.” I sighed.

“They would love that! A nice dinner to start things the right way and move forward,” Reyk said.

“That would be the adult thing to do.” I agreed. I looked at the two little beans in the glass box and knew I had to make things better for them.

“Nope. Hold out for the Beamer!” Wes laughed.

22: The Caged Pet

“Thank you so much for the gift basket! It was so generous. Your letter meant a lot to me.” I told Mrs. Zakar.

“It’s the least I could do. I was harsh with you. I feel guilty for this and I am sorry.” She looked so much weaker, smaller then when I’d walked away from her at the restaurant.

“This is for you.” I handed her the envelope for the card we got at the stationary store. “For both of you.” I nodded at Mr. Zakar who looked pleased that I was accepting his wife’s apology.

“Oh thank you!” She showed the envelope to her husband and then opened the unglued cover. I don’t like the taste of envelope sealer.

She pulled out the card I’d picked, a cartoon picture of an older but stylish lady holding a baby. It said “Congratulations Grandmother” in Arabic. Inside it had a picture from the scan of the two little bean shapes that would grow into our babies… or baby. It was still unclear how many we were having.

“Oh they’re beautiful!” She caught her breath and started to tear up.

“We don’t know if it’s one or two babies. If it’s two, we don’t know if they’ll both make it… I’m pretty freaked out about it. I was so freaked out to even be pregnant and now I can’t lose them,” I admitted.

One of my friends from high school told me to never confess my feelings to someone who’d shown they don’t care, but I couldn’t help myself. I felt like this situation was beyond my capacity and I had two competent adults in front of me.

“Come and sit, please. You can talk to us.” Mr. Zakar led me to his office. 

Tareq followed silently but kept my hand in his.

They sat me in the middle of a couch and each parent sat on either side of me with Tareq sitting on the coffee table in front of me. They listened and assured me that they would use every resource to make sure things went as best as they possibly could. I knew that Tareq’s dad cared deeply, and his mom assured me she would be there for whatever I needed. I felt better after it.

We had a nice dinner together at a small table. They had so many different dining areas for whatever the mood of the meal. Their house literally seemed to grow to fit their needs. Tareq’s parents told me stories about him as a kid and it felt like we were starting to bond.

“I notice you still wear the ring Tareq gave you. Does this mean you wish to marry him?” Mr. Zakar asked when we finished eating.

“Dylan will think on it. I ask him to keep the ring on as reminder of how he feel. He knows I am commit to him,” Tareq explained.

“It is very good benefit for you and the child though.” Mrs. Zakar looked at me with that smile older adults give you when they’re asking a favor.

“It is. It just feels really permanent.” I nodded my head in agreement.

“A baby together is more permanent,” she responded.

“True, but no one asked if I wanted to get pregnant.” I laughed though it wasn’t a joke.

“Yes… and we are very thankful that you decided to not denounce our son for his crime. We only want that you and the child will have the protection and benefits of our family name.” She reached over and put her hand on mine.

“Dylan will decide. We can’t push him.” Mr. Zakar stopped her.

“I will always take care of you and my son… or sons. I already commit to you. The wedding will be when you are ready to commit to me. I know you are mine.” Tareq put his arm around me.

It was a lot to think about. He was right and I did want our family to be together.

“Whatever you decide. You always have a home here.” Mr. Zakar ended the topic.

“We should come back here. I don’t know what’s happening with the baby or babies, and I need things to settle down.” I looked at Tareq as his face lit up.

“I will have the staff prepare your home right away.” Mrs. Zakar nodded happily.

“You will be happy here. I make sure is peaceful place for my love,” Tareq assured.

+++—+++

Reyk was overjoyed when we told him we were heading back to the Zakar compound. Wes was happy too since he’d be closer to Ishaq.

We were just pulling up to the house in Tareq’s car when his phone rang.

“Is the doctor! I will see what happen.” He put the car in park and took the call without putting it through the car audio.

He started talking in Arabic as he stepped out of the car. I jumped out and went by his side. He put an arm around me and pulled me in as he talked to the doctor.

Reyk and Wes joined us, waiting for the news. Tareq’s face was unreadable. He had the same serious look he used when taking business calls.

I tugged on his shirt, wanting to know what was happening, but he just kissed my forehead and kept talking. After what felt like an eternity, he hung up with the doctor and took a deep breath.

“The doctor review the scans with specialists from three continents and special technician review the scan device.” Tareq began.

“What’s wrong? Something’s wrong. Tell me!” I was spinning out of control.

“Only one baby. The machine show an echo. But the development is good. Is what they hope for. All specialists agree the development look healthy and there is no worry.” Tareq said.

“Just one bean?” I asked as if he hadn’t been clear. 

My heart sank. I reached down to rub my stomach where the baby was growing and felt like I’d lost one.

“Just one, my love… but is a good bean and everything look healthy. We have many beans ahead! You are young and very healthy! We can make many more.” He made it sound like I was a horse he planned on breeding.

“What is the excitement?” Tareq’s father came outside to see why we were standing around the car. His mother was right behind him.

Tareq told them the news and I noticed his mother’s disappointment match my own. She came over and hugged me.

“I’m sorry. But at least one healthy boy will fill you with joy,” she whispered to me.

“Thank you.” I hugged her back. She understood.

“I thought Tareq was twin when I was pregnant with him. It turn out he is just a big baby. Huge head. He still has big head.” She made me laugh.

+++—+++

Things settled down over the next week. Tareq went back to work and I was at home doing workouts with Reyk or napping. Wes was now completely involved with Ishaq and I only saw him at dinner most days. Reyk was always around for me if I needed him, but he was paid to be there and wasn’t interested in things that didn’t concern the pregnancy.

Tareq came home about 4pm each day. He’d come in the door, give me a quick kiss, and then race off to the shower. He’d come back clean, naked, and ready for playtime before it was time for dinner with the family. After dinner he’d catch up on work while putting a movie on for me. He’d hold me while I fell asleep on his chest, but we didn’t talk a lot. He had too much going on. 

Routine was good for my anxiety, but I was starting to go crazy with boredom. Tareq was busy with work or too tired to take me out, and he didn’t want me leaving the compound when he wasn’t there. Even when he was home, he always had a phone call or email to respond to. 

By the time we headed for the next doctor’s appointment, I was feeling like his pregnant pet.

“We are late. I have meeting I try to finish early, but was with a Saudi. You know they talk forever! I try to rush home.” He’d made it to me just in time to head to the clinic. 

Reyk and I jumped into his car as soon as he arrived to the house.

“It’s fine. Maybe afterwards we can go to that American themed restaurant again? Play some games? I’m seriously craving a hot dog. Is that too weird?” I asked realizing this was the first time I’d been out of the gates all week.

“I wish, but I have project to work on for tomorrow. I want that I can get big things finished before you are bigger and need me to be there.” Tareq squeezed my hand as he drove.

“I need you now though… I’m alone all day at home. Let’s have like one hour of fun and then we can come back and you can work.” I leaned over the center console and rested my head on his shoulder.

“I’m with you for anything you need during the day. I can plan some fun things at home. We could do a craft time. Some of my clients find that relaxing. Tareq is a very important man and working hard for your family.” Reyk inserted himself in our conversation.

“I want time with you. I need time with you.” I ignored Reyk and looked at Tareq.

“We have time each day. I put one hour just to satisfy your needs. I do good job, no? You are pleased?” He looked with concern as we stopped in the parking garage.

“I’m very pleased with that. That’s not the issue. I want to do fun things, go places, have dinner with new friends. I was reading about this theme park with crazy rides that look so awesome. Maybe this weekend we could go?” I pleaded with him.

“FunWorld is too dangerous. It get very crowded on the weekends and the rides are too much for your little body. I do not think is safe for you to mix with the common folks and ride dangerous coasters. You must think of safety. You carry my child.” He kissed my forehead then got out.

He came around to open my door and help me out as Reyk gathered his things to lead us to the doctor’s office.

“I’m very safe and very responsible!” I pressed the elevator button a little harder than it needed.

“You are emotional and tired. Is normal. I do not mean to upset you, my little bean, but you must take it easy and rest.” He was trying to be sweet but it came across super patronizing.

“I’m not being emotional. I’m living in a cage and it’s really suffocating. I need something to look forward to.” I crossed my arms and leaned against the back wall of the elevator.

Tareq’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket.

“We discuss this later, my love.” He answered his phone and launched into Arabic as the elevator took us up.

+++—+++

“You lost two pounds this week? That’s not good,” Dr. Rammat said when reviewing my chart. The nurse had weighed me while we waited for the doctor.

“He isn’t finishing his shakes after our workouts and isn’t eating enough at dinner. I can’t force him.” Reyk explained.

“Is my fault. I have busy week at work. I will make sure his meals are completed. I upset him with my absence. There is only one of me and everything demand my attention at same time.” Tareq took the blame for my lack of appetite.

“It is important you eat and follow the plan, Dylan. The baby grows and you shrink. That’s not healthy.” The doctor looked at me with concern.

“I’ll try. How is the baby?” I asked.

“Things look good. Soon you will feel more discomfort. Your nipples will be tender and you’ll feel tired and easily nauseous. Those are normal in the men I treat. Your pecs will start to grow. It’s important you begin strength training if you want your arms to match your chest. Reyk will begin those workouts.” He looked over at Reyk who nodded and made notes on his tablet.

“I already feel tired and cranky. But it’s not just the pregnancy. I need to get out and do more. I’m just at home all day and it really sucks.” I complained.

“There is a beautiful nature trail in Arabi park. A time for nature walk would help with that. There is a group of young fathers who gather there. It is a safe park and could be a good place to make friends.” He suggested.

“I don’t want him out of the home without me and that park has mountain lions. Dylan is too tasty to be out for them. I have a few more weeks of big projects, but then I promise I’ll take more time off.” Tareq was not interested in the doctor’s suggestion.

“Dylan missed his support group meeting this week. Was there no one who could take him? Your family has a driver that could drop him off here at my office where he could wait with Reyk. It is quite safe.” Dr. Rammat said.

“I was to take him, but my phone conference went long. He fell sleep by the time I finish, and he is very tired these days. It was just one meeting he missed. I’ll make sure he goes to the next.” Tareq started to look guilty.

“You wanted to have a baby with Dylan. You have to keep up with the things he needs or be comfortable with him going on his own with Reyk and your driver.” Dr. Rammat was not pleased with Tareq.

“I have one busy week and everyone now is mad at me!” Tareq got defensive.

“All I’m saying is you don’t need to do everything on your own. You have a full staff and your father’s security team. You can send him with protection, but his health and group meetings should be priorities.” Dr. Rammat pushed back.

“I can take care of my boy. I will make sure he does not miss the meetings.” Tareq held me under his arm protectively. He felt like we were ganging up on him.

23: Take a Hike!

“I got the info on the nature hike group. They’re going tomorrow,” I told Tareq while we were getting undressed for the shower.

“I tell you this is not for you. You will stay home and we walk when I return from work.” He turned on the shower and guided me into it.

“Right, but it looks fun. They have pictures on their page. It’s like ten or twenty guys and they’re all older than me. Some of them are still pregnant, but others go with their babies in strollers so you know it’s safe. They look fun. I need some fun!” I handed him the soap and he started to rub it over my shoulders.

“I will take you myself when things settle at work. I am good to accommodate your needs, so be patient, yes? Tomorrow you stay here in my nest.” He looked so tired, and I didn’t want to argue with him so I let it go.

We got ready for bed and he fell asleep as soon as I snuggled into his chest. I laid there thinking about it and started to get mad. He had no right to expect me to just wait at home for him. I’d spent a whole week being cooped up here and I needed to get out.

The next morning he left for work right after breakfast. 

I went to his father’s office where Mr. Zakar was working at his laptop and talking to someone on the phone. He wrapped things up when he saw me at the door. He waved me in towards a seat in front of his desk with a big smile on his face.

“What a treat! Hello, Dylan. What do you need, son?” He asked after ending his call.

“There’s a walking group at Arabi park. It’s other guys who have been through the pregnancy thing. I was hoping to go there. My doctor recommended it. Can I use the driver?” I asked him.

“Well of course! I used to take my sons there for sports. It is very lovely space. Why didn’t you have Tareq arrange it for you?” Mr. Zakar looked slightly suspicious and I am not good at lying.

“He’s really busy and he thinks I’ll get eaten by a mountain lion if he’s not there… so he kind of told me I couldn’t go… but I really need to get out of the house. I am going crazy here by myself.” I pleaded with him.

“Yes… I suppose you do. I could use a walk as well. Is it ok for an old man to join you?” He smiled. He wasn’t that old and was in very good shape. He liked to play grandpa. 

“Oh please yes! That would be great! It’s at 11.” I told him.

“Perfect. I’ll have the staff pack supplies and I’ll change. Meet here in an hour and send Tareq a text so he does not worry. He is very busy, but you are his top priority.” Mr. Zakar looked pleased to be hanging out with me.

I raced back to our space and texted Tareq that his dad was taking me to the walking group. I changed into walking clothes and let Reyk know as well.

“With my father? I tell you no for this. You do not go to my father when I say no!” Tareq texted.

“Just letting you know so you don’t freak out. Love you. We’ll be back before you finish work.” I wrote back. I put my phone on do not disturb. 

“Do you want me to come with you? I can prepare your shake to take and have on your walk,” Reyk said when he came into our little house.

“Yes on the shake, no on the coming with, unless you want to.” I was excited to be getting out.

“Ok. I’ll stay here. I have some studying to catch up on anyways. Don’t over-exert yourself.” He nodded and left.

I checked my phone to see Tareq had responded. 

“I do not wish argue with you. We discuss later. Enjoy the time with my father. I love you very much.” Tareq texted. I didn’t know what that meant.

“Ok love you.” I wrote back hoping to smooth things over.

Mr. Zakar met me in his office dressed like we were going on Safari. He had khaki pants and a matching button up shirt. He had two big sun hats for us and a bag with water, snacks, a towel, and sunblock.

He drove us to the park in his obscenely fancy SUV and we saw a table where the group was waiting for everyone to arrive. We sprayed down with sunblock and put on the large sun hats.

He introduced us to the group, only a few of them spoke English. It was almost entirely guys in their mid to late 20’s from a variety of cultures. The friendliest one was an Egyptian named Nasir. He was 23 and held a young boy in a pack strapped to his chest.

“My partner is also older. Most of our partners do not come on these walks, but they are welcome,” Nasir said and pointed towards Mr. Zakar who was talking in Arabic to some of the other men.

“No! That’s my guy’s father.” I laughed.

“He’s your father in law! Very nice of him to take you to make friends! If he is this handsome then the son must be very cute.” He nodded.

“He’s not my father in law… yet… But yes, the son is very hot. We aren’t married. It’s a long story.” I sighed.

“You sound like you could use a friend.” He laughed. “I know how you feel. It can get crazy, but this group really helps me keep calm. I look forward to it every week. Oh, we’re walking! Here we go!”

The group started towards a pathway up the hill. Mr. Zakar came back to me and walked beside me and Nasir.

It was a path that looked completely artificial given the natural desert landscape here. There were misters to keep the trees and plants growing. It had a rainforest effect that cooled my skin and there were animal sounds piped in along the way like frogs and birds and larger animals.

Nasir told Mr. Zakar how he fell in love with a native of this country and moved here to marry him. The baby he held was their first, but they wanted to have two more. Nasir came from a big family back in Port Said. His family had cut off contact with him when they discovered he was gay. Asad had saved him from there and brought him here.

“I am so grateful for your country. I never could have imagined a life this good.” Nasir smiled and lightly bounced his baby as we walked.

“Dylan is just starting here. He is still unsure of us but we are trying to win him over,” Mr. Zakar said.

“Oh you will meet the best people here. There are so many groups like this, not just for families, but for friends and everything. And the university here is amazing. I’m working on my degree, online for now until the baby is older. I studied engineering back in Egypt, but didn’t finish.” Nasir’s baby looked up at him for a moment, then closed his eyes again and snuggled into his father’s hold.

“I can’t wait to have mine. I’ll never put him down,” I said.

“You’ll have no shortage of family wanting to hold him,” Mr. Zakar assured me.

We walked to the top of the hill in about fifteen minutes. Once there, we did stretching exercises that the group leader led us through. He spoke in Arabic so I just followed along with what the others were doing. Mr. Zakar joined in and kept up with us. We walked back down the hill and then enjoyed some of the homemade snacks the other dads had made. I’d bring something the next time we came.

Everyone was so friendly and welcoming. A few of the other guys tried their best to speak with me and Mr. Zakar translated for them. They were a very welcoming group and I felt energized and excited seeing how happy everyone was. It gave me hope that I could make friends here.

“That was so amazing,” I told Mr. Zakar when we got back to his SUV.

“I very much enjoyed that. They do that every week?” He gave my shoulder a pat when we settled into the front seats.

“They do! I wish Tareq would go with me. He’s so busy. I hope he’s not too mad that I went,” I worried.

“He will have to understand. It is not good to keep you in the house all day. I can speak with him about it. I know he worries greatly for you, but you are not a dog.” Mr. Zakar steered the car out of the parking lot and onto the high road.

“He’s really trying to work hard so he can take time off for me. He’s a good man, but I really needed to get out and talk to people. Wes is totally wrapped up in Ishaq, and I’m happy for him. It’s like now that I have this baby growing, I’m not allowed to be a person anymore,” I confessed.

“I will take you next week if Tareq cannot. This is important for you.” Mr. Zakar gave my shoulder a few quick pats and drove us home.

+++–+++

“Tell me why you disobey me.” Tareq set his work bag on the table when he walked in and came to join me on the couch.

“I didn’t disobey you. I told you I needed to go. I did need to go, and I’m going to go back next week. I made a friend too. He has the cutest baby he carried on the walk.” I looked up at Tareq as he sank down next to me and put his arm behind me.

“I do not like that you leave the safety of my home without me. Today you have my father so is ok, but you went to him without consult me. My boy should always come to me to resolve his needs. It is how things are done. Now my father think I am not take care of my responsibility.” Tareq used a gentle tone with his harsh words.

“I tried you first. You couldn’t take me so I went to him. I could have just gone by myself, but I knew you would worry. I can’t stay here all day every day. I’m a human, not a pet.” I didn’t like the vibe he was giving here.

“Yes. You are my human. You are mine to care for. You do not know this country or speak our language. You carry my child and you carry my heart. If anything happen to you, I never can live with myself to know I was not there to protect you.” Tareq tried to be gentle with me. He leaned in and kissed my cheek while pulling me against his chest.

“Will you take me next week? Or to my group therapy thing?” I pushed into his chest hoping he’d agree.

“I have very comfortable home for you. You have personal nurse and your friend stays here. I do everything to make sure you have a happy and safe nest. I feel safe when I know you are in one place without move. I can focus on my work so I can take time off when you need me later.” He wasn’t saying yes.

“Tareq… We are supposed to be in this together… but I feel like you’re not here. Wes is off with Ishaq all day and Reyk is great, but he’s not a friend. He’s not my partner. Plus we’re getting the next monitor in a few weeks so he’ll be gone. I’m alone here.” I tugged on his shirt. I hated feeling like I was begging to not be a prisoner.

“My heart. You are only pregnant for a short time. Is better to be safe in the very luxurious nest you have here. We do not want that accident happen. Please have patience. You are so young and believe to be invincible.” He got up and walked towards the closet to change out of his suit.

“No! That’s not cool. A week ago we were going places and doing things. You wanted to marry me and you were trying to do fun stuff with me. You changed. I don’t know this person who wants to keep me a prisoner here!” I followed him.

“You are too young to understand.” He sighed and turned away as he took off his shirt and pants.

I watched him strip down to a pair of gray briefs that hugged his ass so perfectly. He turned back towards me walked forward with his giant bulge swinging. I got lost for a minute.

“You didn’t think I was too young to have a baby with you!” I remembered the topic.

“Come and lie with me. We talk.” He reached and took my hand then led me to the bed.

We got under the covers and he brought me into his chest. His warm cave of muscles made my body react. I was so sensitive to the one whose seed I carried. He rubbed and kissed me until my hole started to buzz and my cock went to full mast.

“No! We talk first.” I pushed on his chest even though everything inside me wanted to bounce on his lap.

“You remember how you feel when the doctor tell you there may be two and may have problems? You are so sad and cry and… is horrible, Dylan! All I can think is I do this to my Dylan. I put baby in him and I feel helpless to protect you. If something happen to you, I will die!” He started to unload.

“Oh!” I hadn’t considered him being anything other than solid rock.

“If the worst happen, I will demand they remove the baby to save your life, but either way… I will lose you. You either die or hate me for rest of your life. To know I am one who put you in danger… no. This cannot be. Is worst feeling ever in my life. I love you too much for this.” He stared at his lap, not meeting my gaze.

“I don’t blame you. I mean it happened. You did start this, but I chose to keep him.” I put my hand on his chest and started to rub him soothingly. He reached up and covered my hand with his.

“A man does not put his mate in danger. Is my responsibility to protect my family; you and our baby. You may not like me, but I make sure you are safe. Do not ask to take risk. I cannot allow it. I need to know you are safe in my home.” He yawned and turned his eyes to me.

“I get it. It was traumatic for both of us. Right? It sucked. It was a really bad thing. You need some time to feel safe again… and I need time with you. I need you to be here. Ok? That’s how I feel better. That’s how I can recharge to give our baby what it needs. You want to be the man we need, you have to show up.” I leaned down and kissed his chest while keeping my eyes locked on his.

Tareq looked at me for a solid minute then put his hand on my cheek and nodded.

“I will be here. I will work it out.” He assured.

24: Soccer Champs

Friday night, Wes demanded we go to watch Ishaq’s soccer game, or football as they call it here. After a lot of begging, Tareq agreed to it. It was the first time we’d left the house other than to go to an appointment or my group thing at the clinic, but he was spending a lot more time with me.

He’d been working half days at the office and then coming home to spend time with me. We’d gone swimming twice and he’d gotten a few video games we could play together without competing against each other. He had a weird thing about not playing against me. He said we needed to always be on the same team.

The soccer match was at a huge stadium near the university campus. I’d never seen the campus, but apparently I was carrying the child of a graduate. Tareq gave me a quick tour around the buildings where he’d studied finance and engineering. He was so much smarter than I’d ever be. I couldn’t even think of trying school again.

“You can study if you wish… when the baby is ready for school… unless we have more. We will want more, yes?” He asked as we walked towards the stadium.

“Umm maybe. Let’s get this one born first and then we can decide.” I wasn’t sure I’d want to go through this again, especially since the birth required surgery.

“You will see! My genes make pretty babies. You will want a complete set. Must collect them all.” He held my hand as we walked.

“How many is in a set?” I’d never heard that.

“My mother gave five. This is maybe too many for your culture. Your babies are not so cute so the parents in your country only make one or two,” he joked.

“Ok so my ugly genes and your beautiful genes would necessitate 3 babies.” I did the math.

“See? You are very smart. You can study baby math and baby sciences. I will buy you a lab coat and microscope.” He beamed.

This was the happy Tareq I’d missed. He was charming and funny and looked at me like I was his favorite person. He was still overworked, but doing better to keep things separated and be with me.

“I’ll need goggles too. Babies get messy.” I carried his theme of science equipment.

“Dylan! You came!” Wes called and ran towards us. .

He was standing with Ishaq near the stadium. Ishaq was dressed in full soccer hotness with the team’s green lion logo on a gold shirt and shorts with matching socks.

They came over and hugged us before Ishaq handed Wes off to us then went to join his team.

“He waited for me until you guys got here. Isn’t that so sweet? He’s protective!” Wes’ face held a wide smile between two blushing cheeks.

“Of course he did. If anything happen to you, my father hold him responsible. Is his duty as your protector.” Tareq put a hand on Wes’ shoulder as he guided us inside.

“Right! A got hit on me at a party the other night and he flipped out. It was a friend of one of his friends so he didn’t know we were together. He got so protective and kept his arm around me the rest of the night.” Wes gushed like this was something to be proud of.

“Hey! Didn’t you totally give me a warning speech about this when I told you about Tareq?” I reminded him.

“Yes and if you’d listened to me you wouldn’t be pregnant and living in a mansion. You’d be home now sweeping muffin crumbs in 110 degree heat!” Wes reasoned.

“I kind of prefer the pregnancy.” I rubbed my cheek against Tareq’s shoulder.

We made our way into the stadium that was packed with people dressed in green and gold. Tareq went to a booth and checked us in. An attendant came out and led us to a roped off elevator that required a special key card.

We rode up a few floors to a much calmer hallway where people had private box rooms. We walked down a long hallway that bent around the outside of the stadium. Some of the doorways were open and we could see the private parties in the rooms with extravagant catering.

“My family’s company keeps a box here. Some of my coworkers will be here,” Tareq told us.

“We will be on our best behavior!” Wes nodded solemnly.

“You are both good boys. I do not worry for that.” Tareq led us into the room, a large suite with a kitchen and lounge. It had huge windows looking over the field.

Tareq parked us at a smaller seating area by the window then went to greet the other fans.

“I could so get used to this VIP life! Look at this place,” Wes laughed.

“It’s kind of too much.” I shook my head.

“Ishaq’s family is more lower-upper-class. They have a regular house, but it’s nice and his family is so cute. I think they really like me. Look! He’s right there! These seats are perfect!” Wes pointed to where Ishaq’s team was warming up below us.

I turned to look for Tareq who was talking to a group of guys dressed in the same business casual look Tareq was wearing.

Right in front of him was a very beautiful Arab man who looked almost painted. He had his large, beauty eyes fixed on Tareq and doing that flirty laugh like Tareq was a comedic genius. I instantly disliked him.

I wasn’t used to seeing Tareq around other guys. I wasn’t used to this jealous feeling that made me want to leap over there and protect what was mine.

“That guy is totally flirting with him! Look at that.” I elbowed Wes.

“He’s gay… very stylish… maybe 26, definitely under 30… total bottom, look at that ass… I think he’s wearing makeup!” Wes immediately assessed him.

“Should I go over there? He’s mega flirting. He just touched him! He touched my guy! I will end him.” I felt this unnatural anger build in my chest though I kept my voice down. What was wrong with me?

“Settle down. It’s probably the pregnancy making you extra protective.” Wes held me back.

“The baby senses evil. He has very good instincts. He says I should kill him.” I rubbed my stomach to reward his good senses.

“Easy, killer. You don’t want to seem desperate. Let’s watch the guys. Tareq will come back. Look at Ishaq! He looks so good in that uniform.” Wes turned back to the team.

Tareq turned to check on us and I looked away towards the window so he wouldn’t think I was desperate and spying on him. 

“The other team!” I pointed across the field. “It’s women. They’re playing a women’s team?”

“Yes. Ishaq said it was a team from Estonia that played in the Olympics! They try to fly in different teams to break up the monotony of the Arab leagues.” Wes explained.

“That’s so cool! It’s weird how progressive this country is, but then Tareq acts like we’re in the dark ages sometimes.” I shook my head.

“Ishaq can be the same, but it’s nice. I kind of like being cared for that much.” Wes was happy.

“It’s good, but kind of lonely. It got really bad last week. I freaked out on him. I felt so lonely.” I told Wes what happened. We hadn’t really had time to catch up on things. He was in new-relationship-land.

“I’m sorry, Dylan. I know I’m supposed to be here for you. I just never met a guy like Ishaq before and things are moving so fast. I’ll make a day for us this week, just us and maybe the guys.” Wes looked at me with guilt.

“No! I am so happy for you. You totally deserve a great guy and happiness. You’re not here to babysit me. I’m really happy to see you and Ishaq are doing well. You deserve a great guy.” I didn’t want him feeling like that.

“Dylan, you will meet my coworkers.” Tareq surprised me from behind.

I turned to look at two guys plus the one who had been eyeing Tareq with heavy interest. I offered my best fake smile.

He introduced them as Mohammed, Umar, and Rayan (the one who had eyes for him). I stood and greeted them before introducing Wes who did the same. Two of the men went to sit with their wives on the other side of the room while Rayan joined our group and sat on the other side of Tareq from me.

“Tareq tells me much about you! He used to be fun at work, but now he focuses to get home to you. I can see why! Very beautiful,” Rayan said. He was being extra nice and I didn’t trust it for a minute.

“Rayan is my team partner, we do many big projects together. He is very good with clients,” Tareq glowed.

Tareq ordered food from the waiter and the table in front of us soon filled with snacks and drinks. He and Rayan talked in Arabic while we watched the game.

I don’t know much about soccer, but the women’s team started scoring almost immediately. By the time they got to the first break, the score was 3 to 1. Ishaq’s team was out there working hard, but they just couldn’t keep up.

“They’re very good, they’re just not Olympic level,” Wes reasoned. He suddenly seemed very into sports. Back home, he’d never want anything to do with it.

“We like to bring in teams to challenge,” Tareq said. “They do very well against local team.”

“Hey! Look! What does it say? It’s in Arabic!” I pointed up at the screen as the players went to the sidelines for a break.

Up on the screen they were going through pictures of the players standing with someone else and heart emojis floating around. They flashed to one showing Wes and Ishaq holding hands in front of a fountain.

“They show the players with their loves, their sweethearts,” Tareq explained.

“It’s us!” Wes laughed. “Oh we look so happy!”

“He must have given them that picture! He’s way into you! That’s so cute!” I felt a surge of happiness for Wes.

“You want I get you big screen picture of us? I can do this very quickly. I know the big screen man.” Tareq asked.

“No… well… no.” I laughed.

A marching band came out on the field and we turned our attention back down.

Ishaq came up to visit our box, apparently there was a whole half time show. Everyone took a 45 minute break for food and needs. I’d never heard of that.

“Baby! Did you see the picture? You are famous!” A very sweaty Ishaq with a towel around his neck came and picked Wes up for a tight hug.

“You are so amazing down there! Dylan and I were raised on soccer and you blow everyone away! Too bad your team isn’t giving you the ball more!” Wes suddenly turned into a soccer coach.

“Right? They don’t pass to me! You real think I’m great?” Ishaq did look really hot in that soccer uniform. He looked over to me for additional validation.

“Totally! Best player since Mendez,” I offered a random soccer sounding name.

“Who is Mendez?” Tareq laughed.

“You know… he plays for that team that won the big championship!” I defended.

“Oh yes. Mendez was key to that game.” Tareq roared with laughter.

“Exactly… Go Mendez!” I stayed completely stone-faced.

“You are cutest boy who ever walk this earth.” Tareq lifted me out of my chair and put me in his lap.

Suddenly, Rayan didn’t seem so threatening.

Ishaq took my chair and sipped a bottle of Gatorade while we watched the halftime show. The marching band finished and an Arab pop singer came on the field with her backup band.

Ishaq headed back down to his team for the second half. Ishaq scored one goal, but the women’s team quickly recovered and the home team lost 8-3.

“What a game! Did you see how well he played? That goal was crazy!” Wes looked like he was ready to break into song.

“That was the craziest game I’ve ever watched!” I said with complete truth since I’d never watched a full game.

“Thanks for coming! I usually sit down there by the team and watch by myself.” Wes was grateful.

“I’m just happy to be out of the house!” I thanked Tareq who had kept me in his lap even after Ishaq left.

Tareq assured we would do more fun things like this. He went to say goodbye to his coworkers. We walked Wes down to the players locker room to deliver him to Ishaq.

25: The Immigrant

“He has a little head! Oh! The head is there! He’s smiling! Is that a mouth?” I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen as the scanner started to show our baby.

“6 weeks! He looks good. He starts to look like a person with a tail. Your little tadpole,” Dr. Rammat said as he moved the screen around to get a better view.

“Our boy. We made that! Look! That’s our baby.” I yelled to Tareq who stood frozen with his arms crossed as he studied the screen.

“We did. That is ours… our boy.” Tareq shook his head in disbelief.

“Ahmed Nasaan Zakar,” I corrected him with the baby’s full name.

“You already have a name? It is early for that,” Dr. Rammat told us and looked with concern.

“Is our fathers’ names. His father is Nathan, but we translate for easy pronounce here,” Tareq explained.

“So the baby will be raised here? This is the best place to raise a child.” Dr. Rammat was being nosey.

“I think so. He should be with his family here and have the best life we can give him.” I nodded. This country was starting to grow on me. Tareq hugged me tightly at that. 

“He looks very healthy, and your vitals look good. You gained a pound back from the two you lost. I expect to see that other pound next week. Reyk says you are eating and feeling better.” The doctor moved the scan around and snapped some photos.

“Yes, he is happier and keeping up with his exercises. I am sad our time is coming to an end.” Reyk offered that smile meant to look like he’d miss me when it was time to change for a new monitor. 

Dr. Rammat printed a new set of pictures for us to take and share with family. He led us back to his office and got me ready for the exam.

Tareq sat on the exam table and pulled me to sit between his spread legs. He rubbed my stomach and rested his chin on my shoulder while the doctor looked me over.

He went over the symptoms I should be feeling. I was definitely having the nausea at random times of the day, but I wasn’t throwing up much. The biggest symptom was my pecs growing like I’d been doing heavy workouts.

“Let’s have a look at them. Are they very sensitive.” Dr. Rammat logged into the computer in the exam room and pulled up my file.

“His chest look so nice, and he is so sensitive to my touch there. They are happy nipples,” Tareq said when the doctor had me take off my shirt for the exam.

“They are developing nicely. You’ll start producing milk in two more months. It is time to increase his weight training. We want these biceps to match the pecs, and some strength training will definitely be good for the baby.” Dr. Rammat made notes on his computer.

“I will do the exercises with him,” Reyk assured.

A nurse came in with a small gift bag and handed it to Tareq while the doctor listened to my breathing and made more notes.

“The baby! Look! Our handsome boy.” Tareq pulled out a glass box like the one we got with the two beans for week 4. This one was marked “Week 6” and had one small 3-D printed model of our baby.

“Don’t shake that one,” I reminded him since he’d shaken the box with the two beans.

“I will never erase that from your memory, will I? I promise you I never shake our baby. You think I am brutal.” Tareq teased. He set the box in my lap and kissed my neck.

+++—+++

We finished up with the doctor and drove back towards the house.

When we got there, though, there was a large black sedan with white doors and some arabic script written on the side. It looked like a police car from a movie. 

“Is that the police? What’s going on?” I asked as Tareq pulled over towards the garages.

“It is! I do not know. Something is wrong!” He put the car in park without driving into the garage door.

“Oh no!” I yelled as Tareq pushed open the door of his car.

“Stay here. I go see what happens,” he warned.

Reyk and I sat in the car under the shade of the garage overhang as Tareq disappeared into the house. It started to get hot in the car so we got out and waited in the shade by the garage.

Tareq came back out a few minutes later accompanied by an older man in a suit.

“Dylan, he need speak to you. Ok?” Tareq said. He looked alarmed, but his voice sounded calm.

“No… I mean… what about?” I backed away. This felt hella weird.

“Is for your immigration. The visa expire and you need sign new one. Is very simple, he just questions for you.” Tareq forced a smile and nodded towards the house for me to go.

“You come with me,” I said to Tareq. I walked towards him and reached for his hand.

“I need to speak with you alone. Tareq can wait outside the room. It is procedure,” the man said in a calm voice. He offered me a smile and winked like some weird uncle.

“Come. I walk you to the door,” Tareq said. He took my hand and walked me towards their house. The man followed us.

We went to Mr. Zakar’s office and the man waved me inside and closed the door.

“Please, have a seat.” The man pointed towards a meeting table near the windows. I took a seat at the table and the man came to sit next to me. He opened a file that was on the table.

“You came here on a tourist visa. Is this your handwriting?” He pointed towards a form I’d never seen. It had my information written in Tareq’s engineering penmanship with neat capital letters.

“Um… yeah kinda. I didn’t understand it so Tareq helped me fill it out.” I tried to sound believable.

“And this is your signature?” He pointed where Tareq had done a few squiggles that looked nothing like my signature.

“Yes, definitely yes.” I lied again.

“You look very worried. Are you here of your own compulsion?” He asked. 

“Compulsion?” I didn’t get what he was asking. 

“Did anyone force you to come here or is there a reason you’re staying past your expiration date?” he asked. 

“No. I just wanted to stay longer. Do I have to go home?” I was feeling super uncomfortable with the way he looked at me. He thought something was up. 

“Are you planning to study or work here? Or just be a guest of the Zakars for an indefinite time,” he asked. 

“I’m… I don’t know.” I froze. I should have had an easy answer, but I didn’t want to bring up the pregnancy and I definitely didn’t want to tell him Tareq lied to me about it. I had no idea what to say. 

“Your visa is for tourists and it expired last week. Are you planning to stay longer?” He sat back in his chair and looked to me for an answer.

“I’d like to stay here. I like it here. Everyone is really nice. Is that ok?” I looked at him with hopeful eyes. 

He sighed and typed something on his phone. He didn’t respond for what felt like an eternity. 

“It’s fine. We do have additional questioning if you wish to stay longer. There’s an appointment for you tomorrow with an agent who will review your activity and plans here. Just as your country checks on who is entering, we do as well. Your appointment information is here,” The man checked some things on his phone and then filled out a small business card with tomorrow’s date, a location, and a time for 11 AM.

He handed me a blank visa application to complete and then stood up.

He went to the door and opened it to find Mr. Zakar and Tareq standing there. He said some things to them in Arabic and they started to argue. Tareq looked at me with wild eyes. The man held up his hand, said one more thing, and then left.

“What does he ask you?” Tareq rushed in and sat beside me. Mr. Zakar followed him.

I told them everything that had happened and they started to look concerned.

“He said he just needed you to fill out a new form, but now he says you must come for interview. He think we are up to something tricky. I do not like this,” Tareq fumed.

“I will send our attorney with him.” Mr Zakar went for his phone and started barking orders in Arabic.

“Is very not normal they will bring you in. He sees you are cared for here and not for problems… We are a good family, this is strange.” Tareq started to look very concerned.

“I’m scared. What do they want to ask? I don’t know anything!” I started to freak out.

“Anything about what? What would you know?” Tareq asked.

“I don’t know! What if they ask if I’m here for trouble or some kind of American spy? What about the pregnancy? What if they lock me up and baby Ahmed is born in prison? Would they let me keep him?” I was spinning.

“No, no! My heart! Precious love, everything will be fine. Is my fault for not keep up with this. My country does not normally care about this if you stay with family of our class. Is easy fix! Lawyer is best for this. He know everyone in immigration. Is not a large country.” Tareq lifted me up into his arms and reassured me.

“You can’t let them take us. Ok? I’m having a child… your child.” I don’t know why I thought he needed a reminder.

“No one will take you. Our family name will protect you. Is insult to investigate us like this. Our class is above these things and they know this. Our lawyer will squash them quickly.” He held onto me and took me back to our little house for a nap. 

+++—+++

“It should have been a very simple fix, but several factors are at play and there’s been a complaint filed so that complicates matters,” the lawyer started.

“Someone complained about me? I’ve barely left the house here!” I didn’t understand.

“No. Someone is concerned about your welfare and asked the authorities to investigate. Also, the clinic you’re involved with for the pregnancy is under heavy scrutiny. Several human trafficking cases have recently been linked to it though not proven. The government is looking into it and you just happen to fit the model.” He explained.

“I chose to be here. I wanted to come here.” I held Tareq’s hand.

The family attorney, Mr. Allami, came over after dinner to tell us what he’d found about my case. He was able to use his contacts to review the case.

“Of course you did. The Zakars are a wonderful family. I will be with you for questioning. They have no evidence because nothing inappropriate took place and you clearly love Tareq and belong with this family, but they want to be thorough. The key is to not raise any alarms and show that the complaint was frivolous.” He nodded confidently.

“Will be fine. I will go too.” Tareq held me.

“It would be smart for us to go ahead and complete the paperwork for the fiance visa since you two are to be married,” Mr. Allami pulled up a form on his laptop.

“We haven’t decided on that yet,” I admitted.

“I was at the engagement party; lovely event.” Mr. Allami looked confused.

“We have not yet set a date,” Tareq corrected me. He reached for my hand where his ring still hugged my finger.

“Well set it soon. There shouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary, and having a clear wedding plan will certainly show them this is a regular, caring relationship.” Mr. Allami urged.

“My wife is working out the details,” Mr. Zakar added.

“Who would complain about us?” I couldn’t think of a single person who would do that.

“It was filed privately, but clearly from someone with enough sway to be taken seriously.” Mr. Allami started to fill out the fiance visa for me.

“I’ve been really nice to everyone… I think.” I tried to think back to anyone I’d encountered here. Most people completely ignored me and addressed Tareq when interacting with us.

“Our family’s success is envied by others. Perhaps they saw an opportunity to set us back,” Mr. Zakar offered.

“Is why we keep out of public light. We will resolve this and keep you at home until the baby comes. I should never take you out. They see my beautiful boy and think I do not deserve him.” Tareq shook his head angrily.

“Let’s keep calm here. Tomorrow we will resolve things. I’ll come for breakfast and go over questions with you. I’ll call my contacts again tonight and see if we can find out more. You get a good night of rest and I will take care of things.” Mr. Allami finished up the visa and sent it to print for me to sign.

26: Crossing Over

“Right this way, Dylan. Thank you for arriving early.” An older lady in a sharp blue suit waved me back to an office down the hallway past security. She’d introduced herself as Ms. Hassan, the case manager for my immigration file.

Mr. Allami greeted her with a warm handshake, and then followed us to the office.

“Have a seat. Help yourself to water,” she said and then switched over to Arabic for the lawyer.

Mr. Allami spent the morning at the Zakar house going over what he thought they’d ask me. He didn’t know that Tareq had tricked me into the pregnancy and I didn’t think I should bring that up anyways. It wouldn’t help the situation. 

Tareq and I decided to set the wedding date for five weeks ahead. His mother was busy setting it up. I didn’t really want to go through with it just yet, but I definitely didn’t want to be sent away from him. I would do what I needed to keep us together. 

Now in Ms. Hassan’s office, the two adults debated my state in Arabic without so much as a look in my direction. I stayed quiet and let the lawyer do his job. 

“Dylan,” Ms. Hassan turned to me suddenly and switched to English. “How is your pregnancy going?”

“It’s good. I really want to go home with Tareq and get some sleep. We filled out the visa form. Does it look ok? Can I go home?” I asked, pretending like there was no drama here.

“When did you decide to get pregnant? We have no proof that you went to this clinic or any of their branches before a week after coming here, and your medical file shows you were about a week into the pregnancy at that point. So you entered into this without ever consulting a doctor.” She knew quite a lot of information.

“I… well maybe a week or so before we came here. I mean I always wanted to have a baby. It was always my dream, but I’m a guy so I didn’t even know it was possible until Tareq told me about the clinic. He said he trusted them so I was like ‘ok, cool. Let’s do this!’” I tried to look excited.

“We have many questions. You only knew Tareq Zakar for three weeks before traveling with him to the other side of the world? Did that not seem sudden?” She looked through her notes.

“We’ll… almost 4 weeks! And we spent a lot of time together back in Tucson. It feels like longer than that.” I reasoned.

“Almost four weeks,” she echoed and wrote something on her tablet. “Did he discuss where you will live when the baby is born? Have you two made arrangements for that?”

“Oh! Well we are staying here until the baby is born since the clinic is here, but after that he said I can pick either here or Arizona.” I tried to look at her notes, but they were upside down and I’m Arabic.

“Location to be determined,” she made a note and then continued, “He lives with his family?”

“Yes! They are so cool! Everyone is super nice to me. He has his own little house in the back. It’s so cute like a big open studio.” I really wanted to go back there.

“With a room for the baby?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Well, no. But the main house is huge so we will probably get two bedrooms in there when the baby is old enough to not sleep in a crib in our house… I think. But yeah the baby will be in a crib next to us when it’s born. I don’t want him in a separate room.” I shrugged.

“This is pointless! This is a private couple who are preparing for the birth of their child. Dylan should be home resting.” Mr. Allami interrupted.

“You should go. Feel free to wait outside.” Ms. Hassan said to the attorney with a tone that could freeze lava.

“I am his attorney. He is a young boy carrying a child and he deserves an advocate here,” Mr. Allami’s confidence disappeared and he softened his tone considerably. 

“He is not being accused of anything. He is a witness and the state will hold him until we establish his safety and circumstances. If you wish, I can have a soldier show you where the waiting room is.” Ms. Hassan was not playing around with him.

“I’ll find it. Dylan, you don’t have to say a word if you don’t want to. Your answers are voluntary and the more answers you give, the more questions they’ll have.” Mr. Allami got to his feet.

“Your answers are voluntary, but your hold here is not. You will stay until we can resolve our concerns. It’s best you answer truthfully if you want to conclude this matter with expediency. Yes?” She smiled.

I nodded.

Mr. Allami left.

“Dylan, I want to show you two boys near your age.” She pulled up two pictures on her tablet of thin, twinkish guys with sad but beautiful eyes.

“Rory is from Scotland. He came here last year and was absolutely in love. He got pregnant and received the best care and treatment. When he had the baby, he was sent back to Scotland with no money, no love, and no baby.” She pointed to the first guy.

“This is Misha. He came from Russia last year with a similar story and now he is back home without his child or any support. Both boys swore they were in love. Both of them never suspected they were being used by their boyfriends to have a child and then be sent home. They have no way of ever seeing their children. It’s very sad, don’t you think?” She asked me.

“So the guys were just using them? That’s horrible.” I looked at the sad faces on her tablet. I put my hand to my stomach to rub where Ahmed was growing inside.

“Sadly, yes. If this happened one time… well that’s sad. If it happened two times, that’s a string. If we see it three times, that’s a pattern.” She pointed to the first picture, then the second, and finally to me.

“Oh no! No way. You can’t think that! You don’t know Tareq. He really loves me. This baby is my choice! He even said I could get rid of it when I found out!” I started to panic.

“Found out what? You didn’t know you were pregnant? The other two boys didn’t know either.” She leaned in towards me.

“That’s not what I said. Of course I knew! I chose this! You’re twisting things. I don’t want to answer questions any more. I need to find Tareq.” I got to my feet and went towards the door.

“Sit down, Dylan. We are trying to help you and you cannot leave.” She stood up.

“You can’t keep me prisoner here. I didn’t do anything wrong. I want the lawyer back or take me to the U.S. embassy.” I saw that in a movie one time. The embassy would be a safe place.

“There’s no embassy here. They have a kiosk at the airport. We contacted them to learn more about you, and they are concerned as well. We are placing you in protective custody until this gets sorted. I have a judge’s order here.” She pulled a white paper from a stack.

I turned back towards the door and pulled it open. I ran down the hall until I saw Tareq standing with the lawyer.

“They’re trying to keep me here.” I ran to his waiting arms.

“Why they do this?” Tareq was surprised.

“He is not able to leave.” Ms. Hassan walked towards us and said some things to a guard who quickly rushed over.

“They think you tricked me and are going to keep the baby and send me home with nothing!” I buried my face in Tareq’s shoulder.

“You know is not true. We fix this. My father will fix this. Don’t fight with them. I don’t want you are hurt.” Tareq hugged me tightly.

“Dylan will be fine. We will take good care of him. We can clear this up and get you back to normal soon enough,” she assured.

“You can’t let her take me,” I begged. 

“We will answer all questions and clear this up. Is no good to argue with her.” Tareq sounded defeated. He knew his country. 

“That’s right. All we need to do is make sure you are protected here. No one will harm you,” Ms. Hassan tried to sound caring and authentic. 

“Go with her, my love. I will make sure you are home very soon.” He kissed my hair.

I looked up to see a few tears in his eyes and that made me cry. I sank down into a chair and put my face into my hands. I couldn’t be without him. My body needed his touch. 

+++—+++

Tareq talked with Ms. Hassan while comforting me. He sent her a file with my doctors appointments and the orders for my diet and exercise plan along with Reyk’s contact information so he could get to me.

“We have a nice family who will care for him while we sort this out. You will be able to see him soon,” she assured.

“You go with them, Dylan. I will find you as soon as I can.” Tareq kissed me and then turned to Ms. Hassan, “He need his things. He has clothes and vitamins and comfort items.”

“You can send them here and they’ll be delivered to his protection family right away. They are experienced with the pregnancy procedure and are close friends with his doctor. He will be well-cared for.” She added a confident nod.

I hadn’t really stopped crying. It felt like a nightmare. I sat under Tareq’s hold for as long as I could and soaked up his touch.

Ms. Hassan had a guard take us to a neighborhood up in the hills. There was a private drive with an armed guard. Ms. Hassan spoke with him before he opened the gate to let us inside. The driver took us through a private neighborhood that looked similar to the Zakar’s down near the coast. He wound up a hill that led to another gate with another armed guard. This gate slid open to reveal a sprawling estate even bigger than the Zakar’s.

We drove up a small road lined with Italian Cypress trees to a circle driveway and under a covering in front of two huge doors. Waiting for us was an older Arab man and a shorter white guy.

“The Hamad family will care for you while we investigate. You are not to leave this compound until we have completed our review. All questioning will be done here. This is for your protection, Dylan.” Ms. Hassan assured as the driver came to a stop.

“Please send me home. I can’t be without Tareq. I really can’t.” I begged one last time.

“Dylan. Don’t you deserve to know the facts here? Don’t you want that protection for your baby? You know he has lied to you, we need to find out how much. Ok?” She made it seem like something big was going on.

“I don’t have a choice.” I shrugged and shook my head.

We got out of the car and she led me up to introduce me to the men. They were both named Mr. Hamad, but the white guy preferred to go by Emerson.

“It is very nice to meet you, Dylan.” Mr. Hamad said my name the same way Tareq did.

“Thank you, sirs.” I remembered my manners.

The two men looked like models from a luxury car commercial. Mr. Hamad wore a thin sweater that showed his broad muscles. His husband, Emerson, was thin but toned with beautiful features and a kind smile. I imagined their car commercial with the two of them cruising through a snowy landscape in an oversized SUV to arrive at a cozy chalet with breath-taking views.

“My husband is deaf, but I will sign anything you need with him.” Mr. Hamad spoke and signed. Emerson signed back and smiled at me. His husband translated a welcome.

“Your house is wow!” I said.

They invited me inside and Ms. Hassan walked with me. We wound our way through the expansive estate, across a courtyard, and to a smaller house out back. It reminded me of Tareq’s back house, but was larger.

“We keep a smaller house. We have two sons, but one moved out when he finished his degree. His twin still lives here with his husband. They’re hoping to start the pregnancy process you are experiencing once Kasper finishes his degree.” Mr. Hamad’s accent was similar to Tareq’s, but his English was very good.

They led me into the house where there was a big open space with a kitchen, living room, and dining table. It was a very cozy space that held a warm home.

The walls were covered in family pictures showing the two men with one set of twins through various stages of their growth. They’d been all over the world and had a very privileged life.

“The large door is our bedroom. You’ll be staying in this room right next to us.” Mr. Hamad opened a door to show a small bedroom with a twin bed, desk, and dresser.

“This is nice… thank you,” I whispered. My throat still felt salty from crying. I caught sight of myself in a mirror. My eyes are deep red and I looked like I’d slept at a bus stop.

“You will be very comfortable here,” Ms. Hassan assured. “I’ll have your things brought and I’ll come tomorrow to continue our questioning.”

She left and I sat on the bed.

“Are you hungry?” Mr. Hamad asked as his hands signed.

I shook my head.

I felt numb. Once again I asked myself how my life had gone so far off track.

27: Starve A Cold

“You must eat, little one. You didn’t have lunch, and dinner will be served soon. You can meet my son and his partner who is from your country.” Mr. Hamad sat down on the bed where I’d curled up around a pillow. I’d spent the afternoon staring out the window like Tareq would appear.

I ignored him. I couldn’t move. My body felt locked with fear. Laying there took every ounce of energy I had.

“Your things are arriving soon. The Zakars are a good family. I’m sure you miss them greatly. You can come out and wait for your things in the living room. We have snacks and many cable channels in English. We can find something good to watch while you wait.” Mr. Hamad put a hand on my shoulder. His hand felt comforting.

“Is Tareq coming to bring my things?” I looked up at him and saw Emerson standing behind him looking at me with concern.

“He is not. Ms. Hassan has asked us not to allow visitors until a judge reviews the case. Maybe soon they will allow a visit or phone call. It is not up to me, little one.” Mr. Hamad rubbed my shoulder gently.

“You know about the pregnancy needs. You know I can’t physically be without him. You know it makes me achey and tired. Please,” I looked up at him and begged.

“I am aware of your needs, but that is mostly psychological. You are sad and stressed. You will bond again with him soon when this is cleared up. Hopefully we can get Tareq time to visit. Please come out and eat something.” Mr. Hamad stayed there until I started to move.

I got out of the bed and saw Emerson looking at me and signing something. I looked at him, but I didn’t know how to sign. I gave him an apologetic look and walked out to the living room.

“Hi! Dylan! I’m Amir,” a handsome man just a few years older than me stood up from the dining table. He was tall and strong like Tareq.

“And this is Kasper.” He pointed to a guy who looked similar to me, but with long hair down to his shoulders.

“Hey. It’s nice to meet you.” Kasper nodded at me.

I nodded at them and went for the couch where the coffee table held a tray of vegetables and hummus. They came and sat on either side of me like this was going to be an intervention.

“So you’re from Tucson, huh? That’s in the desert! I’ve never been there, but it looks really hot with lots of cactus and scorpions, kinda like here I guess but we get the ocean breezes. I’m from SoCal… LA… Well, kinda LA, Ventura County. Have you been there? No one usually goes there unless you’re from the area…” Kasper started rambling.

“I can’t do this.” I got up and went back to the bedroom. I closed the door and closed the drapes before getting under the covers. I cried until I fell asleep.

+++–+++

“Dylan, your things arrived. You must wake up, little one,” Mr. Hamad woke me as he came in. He wheeled in a suitcase and held squishy cactus under his right arm.

I looked up at him and reached for squishy cactus. He smiled and put the stuffed object in my arms. I hugged cactus and could smell Tareq’s cologne. I felt like crying all over again.

“We saved you a plate of food. Everyone is very concerned and came to check on you,” Mr. Hamad pointed towards Emerson, Amir, and Kasper waiting behind him.

I shook my head and went back under the covers with squishy cactus. I wasn’t ready to face a crowd.

“You’re carrying a baby inside you and he needs nutrition.” Mr. Hamad sat on the bed and pulled back the covers.

I didn’t respond. I was not hungry and didn’t want to argue with him. My body gave a deep shiver that made him pull the covers back over me.

“If you cannot eat on your own then you will need to be transferred to a care unit at the hospital. It is not a threat to scare you, just the facts. I will not let you hurt yourself in my home.” He responded by upping the pressure.

“I don’t care where I go. This hurts… Everything hurts. I need him and you won’t let me go home.” I turned my face into the pillow and hugged Cactus.

“He is inconsolable. This does not work.” Mr. Hamad shook his head.

He ushered his family out of the room and closed the door.

I knew I needed to eat something, but my stomach felt like a roller coaster and I didn’t think I could keep any food down. This was a nightmare. I felt helpless and lost.

“Dylan? I have visitor for you,” Mr. Hamad came back a few minutes later carrying a tablet.

“Baby! My love. Wake up please. My Dylan,” Tareq’s voice called.

I sat up and started to get out of the bed, but then saw Tareq’s face on the tablet. He looked as sad as I felt.

“Tareq!” I yelled.

Mr. Hamad came to sit on the bed and held the tablet in his lap so I could see the screen clearly.

“You look so sad. He say you do not eat. You must eat, my baby. Hurting yourself will not help this. You go and eat right now,” he demanded.

“I want to go home. Please come get me.” I reached for the screen like I could crawl through it.

“We discuss this while you eat. Go now and have food.” Tareq pointed to a random direction as if he was there.

Mr. Hamad stood and I followed the tablet out to the living room. It was late at night and no one else was out there. He set the tablet on the dining table and pointed to a chair for me to sit.

“Here is a nice sandwich and vegetables.” Mr. Hamad brought a plate with food that looked too healthy.

“You will eat and finish all of it. Mr. Hamad’s husband prepares this for you. You will thank him tomorrow, he is very nice man. He is deaf, but everyone will help you for translate,” Tareq repeated as Mr. Hamad grabbed a bottle of water and placed it next to my plate.

I nodded. I picked up the water and took a sip. It hit my raw throat and I realized just how dehydrated I felt. I took a bigger sip and kept my eyes on the screen.

“The Hamad family is very respected. I know you are safe there. Hopefully I can visit soon.” Tareq started.

“What do they…” I started to say, but Tareq interrupted me.

“Eat. You speak when plate is clean! We have special permission to have supervised video so you will eat. I send your suitcase pack with things for comfort and your clothes. I do not like you are stress here. My father works to free you. You will be good boy there and obey, yes?” Tareq watched as I took a bite of the sandwich.

I nodded as I chewed.

Tareq kept me company while I ate. It helped me feel better. He tried to talk about inane things like our upcoming doctor’s appointment and a garden his mother was working on. I soon finished the plate and earned a smile from Mr. Hamad who was sitting behind the tablet out of Tareq’s vision while working on his laptop.

“I finished,” I announced after shoving the last bite of carrot past my lips.

“Now you sleep. Tomorrow there is more questions and we clear this up. Yes? You show them you are my good boy and happy here in my country. We have you back home soon,” Tareq assured.

“Will you stay with me until I sleep? I can’t sleep alone.” I couldn’t hang up with him.

“Is not up to me. You must ask Mr. Hamad and abide by his answer,” Tareq looked like he hated having to get someone’s permission.

“Very well. But you will bathe and get ready for sleep first, little one. I will talk with Tareq while you go.” Mr. Hamad turned the tablet and changed to Arabic.

I went to the bedroom and opened the suitcase. Tareq had put the two glass boxes with the baby models on top. I put them on a desk and looked through the clothes he’d packed. I found pajamas and fresh underwear along with a bathroom bag full of essentials.

There was a bathroom in the hallway and I walked past another bedroom where Amir and Kasper were watching a show and playing on their phones.

“Um… hi.” I knocked next to their open door. “Is it ok if I use this bathroom? Or is there another one for guests?”

“Yeah sure! Of course. Lemme help you get stuff.” Kasper jumped up and came towards me. He got me a towel and showed me how the shower worked.

I thanked him.

“Maybe tomorrow we can hang out. I have so many questions about the baby thing. We really want to do it though,” he said.

“Yeah… my world is kind of falling apart, but sure.” It came out ruder than I intended.

“Right. I’m so sorry. I um…” he trailed off.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m really not a dick like that. I just…” I started to apologize.

“No need. I get it. I’d go nuts without Amir.” Kasper looked back where Amir was walking over to join us.

“Imagine being without him and then you’re pregnant on top of it and you have this weird physical pain without him there. And now you’re alone and in some strange house with a very nice family that you don’t know at all.” I sighed. I was making excuses for being a bitch.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Dylan.” Kasper frowned.

“Oh hey, you can have this whole sink to set up your stuff,” Amir went to one sink and pushed everything over to the other one except for the hand soap.

“Thank you.” I put down the bathroom bag and opened it to see what Tareq had picked. I had my toothbrush, hairbrush, face wash, and, “Oh! His cologne! Oh dude, that’s what he smells like.” I held it up as if they cared about his scent.

“That’s a pricy one. Very nice.” Kasper nodded. “Well just yell if you need anything. Here’s a towel.”

“We are right next door and up late if you feel scared tonight,” Amir told me and offered a warm smile.

They left and I quickly showered, brushed my teeth, and got ready for bed.

Mr. Hamad was waiting in my room when I came back. He set Tareq (on the tablet) on the bedside table and plugged it in.

“Ten minutes, yes?” Mr. Hamad yawned.

“Yes, sir! Thank you,” I dove under the covers and saw Tareq was brushing his teeth.

“Baby! My love!” He spit out his toothpaste and went to rinse.

“I missed you.” I beamed. It felt so good to see him there. I got under the covers and held squishy cactus.

Mr. Hamad sat in a chair and opened his phone so he could supervise us without intruding.

“Mr. Hamad is agree and tomorrow we ask the judge for supervise visits in his home until this is over.” Tareq told me.

“For real? You have to come here! I hope they let you.” I wanted to reach through the screen and grab him.

“We will speak with the judge. They cannot keep me from you when you are in pregnancy. Is cruel for us and we do nothing wrong. They accuse me and steal my pregnant mate. Now they drag slowly to investigate, and this is not justice. I will fight for my boy.” Tareq sounded confident.

“If they don’t, we should go back to Arizona. We can have the baby there. Dr. Rammat said there is a clinic in LA. That’s only 8 hours away and we could stay there until the baby is born.” I’d been thinking of ways we could escape this.

“You think they let us get on airplane to another country right now?” Tareq looked at me with confusion.

“They have to. I’m a citizen of the USA. The government can’t legally stop me from going home, right? She said there’s a kiosk at the embassy so they’ll have to help me. They take taxes out of my Muffin Manor paycheck every two weeks.” I had no idea how an embassy kiosk at the airport would work.

“Is not that easy. My government need you for information and they need me because they think I am criminal and you have all the facts to prove this. Until they clear this up, we are stuck. Is good the Hamad family want to help here, otherwise you will be in the government holding and I have no chance to speak with you. You will be on very best behavior there and eat your meals, yes?” Tareq looked at me with seriousness.

“Yes, sir… I’ll try my best.” I promised.

“I want Mr. Hamad to let me call just to talk with you, not because he is forced to because you do not eat. That does not look good on our relationship, my heart. You will be his perfect house guest and thank him and his family.” Tareq knew Mr. Hamad was sitting in the room with me.

“I promise. I’ll be on my best behavior. He won’t even know I’m here.” I assured him.

“I know you will. Is time for sleep. You have big day tomorrow and I must get to work to clear my name here. I want that you are home very soon.” He pursed his lips and did a quick kiss motion under his worried eyes.

We stared at each other for another minute.

“I love you so much it hurts.” I started to sniffle.

“Do not be sad, my heart. You are home very soon.” He waved and then signed off.

“It is time that you sleep. You wish the door is open or closed?” Mr. Hamad got to his feet and yawned again.

“Open please,” I don’t know why I said that. At home in Tucson I never slept with it open, and Tareq’s place didn’t have a door except to the outside.

He nodded with a sleepy smile and then headed out.

I heard his own bedroom door open and then close and then nothing.

The house wasn’t silent.

I could hear the air conditioner struggling against the desert heat. I could hear my heart beating slowly in my ears. I could hear Tareq’s last words echo through my brain on auto-repeat. I will be home very soon.

28: Law & Order: Satra

I peeked my head out from under the covers to see the morning sun clawing its way through the drapes and filling the room. I noticed a shadow and turned to see Emerson unpacking the things in my suitcase. I’d left it open on the floor of the small closet.

“Good morning,” I yawned. 

Emerson didn’t turn to look at me. I remembered he was deaf. I felt bad for ignoring him the day before. He must have noted it since Tareq told me to be nice to him on the video chat.

I started to get out of bed and he quickly turned to look at me. He smiled, held up one of my shirts, and pointed towards the clothes he’d already hung. I waved and smiled then went over to help him.

Tareq, or likely the workers at the Zakar estate, had packed quite a selection of clothes for me. I wondered how long they would fit once my stomach started to show. I grabbed a folded shirt, but Emerson waved me off. He put a hand on my shoulder and then pointed towards the open doorway like I should go and eat breakfast.

“Thank you.” I nodded and gave him a little salute like he was my captain or something. He laughed like I’d made a joke. 

I went down the hallway and out into the living/dining/kitchen area where Kasper and Amir were sitting around the table with Mr. Hamad who was working on his tablet.

“Your um… Emerson. He’s hanging up my clothes. That’s so nice. Thank you, guys, and sorry I was… sorry about yesterday. I was mean to everyone and…” I felt like I owed them an apology.

“You were in distress. We are glad we could be there for you in your time of need. Come and eat.” Mr. Hamad patted the chair between him and Kasper.

I helped myself to a plate of fruit and a tray of flatbread with a spread of hummus and cucumbers.

“The baby is hungry today,” I reached down and felt little Ahmed inside me. The food tasted amazing.

“You feel him? You can feel him moving? How far along are you?” Kasper set his phone down and started to question me.

“Sort of. It’s more like a buzzing. It’s weird.” I told him about the symptoms and things with Dr. Rammat. He was fascinated by the whole process. I went to the bedroom and brought him the 3-D baby models they’d given me.

“Oh he is so tiny! That’s how big he is right now? I want a tiny baby, Amir!” Kasper tugged on Amir’s shirt when he wasn’t paying enough attention to the baby models.

“We will get you a tiny baby soon. I will fill you with tiny babies,” Amir assured. 

“Do not be gross, my boy.” Mr. Hamad chuckled.

“I didn’t mean that!” Amir’s cheeks reddened a little. 

“You guys will make a cute baby.” I told them.

“I can’t wait. I want to have at least three.” Kasper cradled the glass box in his arms like a real baby.

“Oh!” I suddenly remembered. “I have my therapy group today. I’m not supposed to miss it. Am I allowed to go?” I asked Mr. Hamad.

“Your doctor will visit here tomorrow, but you are not to leave my home. Will you be ok to miss your group this week? Hopefully things are back to normal by next week and you can resume your routine.” Mr. Hamad looked at me with sadness.

“Sure. It’s fine, sir. I guess we can’t do anything about it. It’s more just to share my feelings and listen to everyone’s experiences. It’s fine… don’t worry about it.” I nodded and sipped my cup of juice.

“I will check with the judge. It is not ok to deny you medical services if your doctor says you need to participate in this group therapy. Your mental and emotional health are important. That doesn’t seem acceptable to deny this,” Mr. Hamad looked at me thoughtfully.

“Nothing we can do. It’s ok, sir.” I shrugged. “I just want this to end. Maybe it’s better to not make trouble. You guys have been good therapy.”

“You are a good boy. I will see what can be done,” he assured.

+++–+++

Ms. Hassan came to the house after breakfast. She wanted to speak with me privately, but Mr. Hamad insisted on sitting in with us. She didn’t argue with him, and followed as he led us to his office.

“You look like you slept well,” she noted with a friendly smile as we sat down.

“When can I go home?” I asked her.

“The boy is worried. He needs to be with his mate. This whole process has him frightened. He is worried he will have to deliver this child on his own without the father.” Mr. Hamad jumped in.

“We hope to clear this up soon, but we need Dylan to give us answers and he hasn’t said much. Let’s get started.” She took out a tablet from her bag and began recording.

“When you found out you were pregnant, you did not know you could get pregnant, correct?” She started.

“Wait! What? I already told you I knew. He told me about the procedure and I wanted to do it.” I looked at her with exasperation.

“Given the evidence, we don’t find that story credible.” She didn’t believe me.

“What evidence? I already told you what happened. How can I prove it?” I looked helplessly at Mr. Hamad. 

“Is that true, Dylan? Did you not know what was happening? Did he not ask your consent?” Mr. Hamad looked at me with those piercing dad eyes.

“No. I told her already what happened. I just want to go home. Please.” I looked down at my stomach and rubbed where Ahmed was growing.

“We need to know the truth, Dylan, and you are too blinded by his charms to protect yourself,” Ms. Hassan softened her tone.

“Whether true or not, the boy chooses Tareq. What more can you do?” Mr. Hamad pointed out.

Ms. Hassan responded with something in Arabic.

“Then let’s offer him a choice.” Mr. Hamad switched them back to English. “Dylan, if you wish to be sure, we can send you and Tareq home to Arizona and assure you get the care you need to have this baby. We can ensure that Tareq is not able to leave the country with your child.”

“He cannot leave until this matter is resolved. He is the third boy with this situation and we cannot allow it to continue. I shared their stories with you when I asked you to protect Dylan in your home. You know that if we cannot secure justice then our country will become a haven for this!” Ms. Hassan grew aggravated with Mr. Hamad.

“I also know that if the boy does not wish to testify against Tareq then there is little you can do. Keeping him away from his mate will only make him dig in with his defense of Tareq. And that is assuming Tareq did anything wrong. What if Dylan is telling the truth? What if Tareq did nothing wrong here? If that’s the case then you have scarred a young life for no reason. You have made us look like Barbarians by ripping a family apart.” Mr. Hamad argued.

“I don’t believe he’s innocent. We cannot let this go unpunished,” she said.

“You don’t have to believe anything. I will speak with the judge today. She will decide.” Mr. Hamad bared his teeth, figuratively.

“If you are intent on assisting Tareq then I will have to place Dylan with a family that can adequately protect him.” She collected her bag as if readying to leave.

“The boy is not leaving my home until I am sure he will be safe. You’re overstepping here. A threat against my family and those we protect will go straight to the King. Be very careful where you aim your fire.” Mr. Hamad was furious. His eyes flared as he stood and pointed towards the door.

“We will see what the judge decides. This is a waste of time. Good day.” Ms. Hassan got to her feet and stalked out.

“I have no idea what just happened! I think I made things worse.” I shook my head.

“I need to make some phone calls. Go back to my home and find Emerson. Stay near him until I come find you. I will not be threatened in my own home.” Mr. Hamad dismissed me.

I went back through the house and across the courtyard to their family home in the back. I found Emerson in the kitchen mixing something in a large ceramic bowl. He smiled when I walked in.

“I stay with you.” I tried to speak clearly and motion with my hands to tell him this.

He looked at me curiously and then waved me towards him. He touched a tablet on the counter and opened a program.

It was two white screens separated by a gray line. He signed towards the tablet and words started to appear.

“This will translate between us. Speak normally and I use sign language.” The words appeared one by one on half the screen.

“Really? We can do that? That is so cool! Look at my words! I’ve been subtitled!” I said and my words showed up on the other half of the screen.

“Yes. It’s magic. Tell me what happened.” He signed.

“I’m supposed to stay with you until your husband comes back. He’s making phone calls. He’s not happy about the investigator’s threats.” I shook my head.

Emerson asked what happened and I told him.

“Did he really trick you? You didn’t know? That’s what she told us when she asked if we would take you in. I couldn’t believe someone would do that.” He asked.

“It’s not true. It’s not true.” I watched my words appear. I started to get upset all over again.

Emerson looked like he didn’t believe me, but he put his hand on mine and sighed. 

“Help me with baking. I’m making cookies for Kasper’s fundraiser. They are buying goats for a village in Dumari.” He changed the topic.

Emerson directed me to mix the batter so he could sign while I worked. It was thick and hard to stir, but I did my best. 

He told me about the village that had been hit with years of drought and lost its crops. There had been one agency working to build a canal while another group was helping the farms and replenishing the livestock. It was so sad. Many of the men had left to find work in the city while the wives stayed behind to work on the farms and raise the children.

“I guess my situation isn’t so bad. That’s so horrible. I guess I have it easy,” I said after listening.

“There is no hierarchy to personal trauma. Your pain is valid. Sometimes it helps to be busy helping others while your situation resolves. Good people are working on making sure you get treated fairly. Be patient and allow your hurt to work its way out of you,” Emerson signed.

We scooped out the cookies together and then put them on to bake. Emerson put on music for me and we played a board game while we waited. He told me about his life and how he’d come here by himself for college before Mr. Hamad (He called him Ali) met him and swept him off his feet.

Kasper and Amir came home and joined us. They were intent on cheering me up. Kasper showed me how to play an old board game called Secret Potion. It was fun, but I wondered why Mr. Hamad hadn’t come back yet.

“Do you think we could video call Tareq while we wait for Mr. Hamad?” I asked Emerson. Amir translated for me.

Emerson shook his head. “No. Wait for Ali (Mr. Hamad) to come back. Be patient. We wait.”

We ate a few of the cookies while Kasper packed up a bunch for his fundraiser. I helped Emerson start on dinner while we waited. The afternoon dragged on and I started to worry.

Mr. Hamad came back about 5pm and came first to kiss his husband before addressing me. He looked tired, but he met my eyes and nodded for me to have a seat.

“The judge decided and she does have some concerns,” he started.

“Oh no.” My heart sank. Emerson came over and put his arm around me.

“If the investigators cannot produce more evidence by tomorrow, then Tareq may come for supervised visits as early as tomorrow night. He cannot be alone with you without me or Emerson to observe.” Mr. Hamad continued.

“That’s good! I can see him tomorrow?” My heart leapt.

“If they do not find evidence that can link him to the charges, then yes. Visitation will be here. You are not able to leave my home. The judge did not approve for you to visit your therapy group.” Mr. Hamad smiled when he saw I was happy.

“That’s perfect, sir. I just need to touch him. Just having him here is everything. Thank you!” I jumped up and hugged a smiling Emerson.

“You will not have alone time with him. It must be supervised. She does not want him to influence you, yet she recognizes the cruel nature of keeping you isolated during your pregnancy. There are rules you and Tareq must agree to, but we will wait first to see what the investigators come up with for tomorrow.” Mr. Hamad came over and joined my hug with his husband.

“I’ll do whatever you want. I just need to see him. I need him to hold me.” I let go of Emerson and wiped the little tears off my cheek.

“I know it is hard and you are so young to be alone. The judge understands this too. We will work to fix this.” Mr. Hamad gave a confident nod. 

All we could do now was wait.

29: Arabic Numerals

After breakfast the next morning, I went on a hike with Amir, Kasper, and Emerson. It was technically still on the Hamad estate since it was their own private trail on their own private land up the mountain their house was built on.

“What’s on the other side of this mountain?” I asked. The trail was shaded by a line of Italian Cypress, but we still wore sunhats and copious amounts of sunblock.

“It is a federal preserve for the native wildlife. Beyond that is a resort and then an army base,” Amir said.

They’d all taken the morning off to keep me company while we waited to see if Tareq could get visitation with me. Mr. Hamad seemed very hopeful, but I worried. I hadn’t been able to talk to Tareq on the video chat. Mr. Hamad said it was best to not cause problems. I needed to show I was a good kid who followed the judges orders.

“It’s so beautiful up here, so peaceful.” I said.

“We bought as much as we could to preserve the native habitats.” Emerson signed. Amir was translating between us.

“Dylan! You have to see my garden!” Kasper called out. He was ahead of us up the trail.

“Oh cool. I like gardens.” I tried to sound excited for him.

“Emerson and I made it with native California plants. It’s to make this feel like home. Oh the poppies are blooming! It’s so beautiful.” Kasper’s face lit up.

We caught up to him and there was a little grove between the trees where there was a circular path filled with plants and a bird fountain.

“We built this my first spring here. I was so homesick, but my family didn’t want me there so I couldn’t really go home.” He explained.

“That’s terrible. Your family? That sucks.” I felt badly for him.

“It does… I haven’t been home since I came here. It hurts, but we do talk when big things happen. But this is my family now. I don’t think they’ll ever accept who I am and who I love so they don’t get to see me.” Kasper looked down at his plants.

“Baby love, don’t be sad,” Amir called and ran to hold him.

Kasper looked up with pouty lips and got a kiss from Amir. I looked over at Emerson who just shrugged uncomfortably and winked at me.

“I have you so I’m never sad.” Kasper was getting cheesy. Amir smiled and rubbed his nose against Kasper’s. Emerson put a hand to his cheek and shook his head in embarrassment.

It made me miss Tareq. I wanted to be obscenely gross with Tareq. I wanted the constant touching and the babytalk and everything else that would annoy the fuck out of everyone around us. It was building up inside me. I needed my man.

“I really miss Tareq,” I said to Emerson, trying to show my words. He nodded and came to hug me.

We got to the top of the peak where there was a large flat rock that had a view of the city. I pointed towards the Zakar house on the beach.

“Oh I know that neighborhood! That guy who did the yoga symposium. Remember that?” Kasper asked Emerson and signed for him.

“I do. That was just down the street. I think Mrs. Zakar was there!” Emerson signed.

“You know her?” I asked and Amir translated.

“Of course! We have done many events together. She is intense, but has a good heart. I’m sure she was mean to you!” Emerson laughed.

“She was, but we’re ok now. We made peace.” I told him. I definitely wasn’t going to tell them about Tareq’s parents learning that he had tricked me. If the Hamads thought he was bad, he definitely wouldn’t be able to see me.

We headed back down to the house and got cleaned up for lunch. I kept wanting to find Mr. Hamad and get an update on Tareq, but he’d gone to his office in the main house.

I picked at the sandwich Emerson made me, but I really wasn’t hungry. I finally got up from the table and went to the main house. Mr. Hamad’s office was just inside with a window facing the courtyard. I went to it and peeked in. He was on the phone, but raised an eyebrow when our eyes met. I quickly pulled back and started to walk around.

“You’re Dylan, right? I’m Lincoln,” a man I hadn’t met caught me pacing in the hallway outside Mr. Hamad’s door.

He was a tall, fit, handsome white guy. He looked like he played college football then settled into a real estate career. I’d seen him in some of the pictures inside Mr. Hamad’s smaller home.

“Oh. Hi. Nice to meet you. Yeah, Dylan.” I nodded.

“Do you need Ali? You can go right in. He’s friendly.” Lincoln started to open the office door.

“No! No! I don’t want to bother him.” I pulled his arm away from the door.

“It’s fine.” he assured. He pushed the door open and took me into the office with him.

“The boy was pacing,” Mr. Hamad smiled sadly. “You are well, little one?”

“Yes, sir. We went on a great hike and had lunch… just a regular morning.” I was trying to not act like I only cared about Tareq.

“I have not heard an update, but the deadline is here. My lawyer will call when we know, ok?” Mr. Hamad reached for me and I went over behind his desk.

“Yes, sir. Of course. Thank you for checking on things.” I nodded a little too eagerly.

“Ali tells me you’re from Arizona. I guess they ran out of California boys?” He laughed.

“Tucson, sir. The anti-Phoenix.” I joked. “We’re definitely not California!”

“No sir, call me Lincoln. I’m married to Ali’s younger brother, Samir. We live in the main house. We invited you to dinner with the whole family, but Ali wants to keep your world small so he’s hogging you back there. If you get bored later, come in for dessert! Thursdays are ice cream bar night for my boys.” He offered a friendly smile.

“Hopefully Tareq will be able to come…” I felt suddenly sad. I realized I was losing it waiting for news.

“Come sit with me.” Mr. Hamad stood up and went to drag a chair over behind his desk.

“Thank you,” I sat in the chair and looked at the stacks of papers on his desk mixed with a few napkins, and empty cups. “Do you want me to clean? I’m a good cleaner.” I started to gather the trash.

“It is ok. We have staff for that. Here, you can organize these papers. See the dates at the top? I need them ordered by date, but it’s not American date. The first number is the day, then the month, then the year. Don’t confuse that.” Mr. Hamad slid over a stack of papers.

“These are in Arabic, sir. I can’t read… Oh wait, the numbers are in English. Why do they use English numbers?” I asked.

Lincoln and Mr. Hamad both burst into laughter.

I didn’t understand.

“The numbers were ours first, little one. It is why the name for them is Arabic numerals.” Mr. Hamad put his hand on my back and leaned over to point out the dates I was looking for.

Lincoln bid us goodbye and headed back to his work.

I went through the stack of papers and put them in the order Mr. Hamad wanted while he got back to his emails and spreadsheets. I finished the stack and he gave me another one.

“This kind of work would be good for me. I should get a job like this since there’s no Muffin Manor here.” I told him.

“What is a Muffin Manor?” He said the name like it sounded exotic.

“It’s where I worked in Arizona.” I told him all about my job and friends there.

“You didn’t quit your job there?” He asked.

“Well not really. I took a week off and then Tareq got me longer, but I’m guessing by now they hired someone else.” I was talking without thinking because I was working on the papers and fighting anxiety over awaiting the decision on Tareq. I was not thinking.

“You took a week off of work and then came here to have a baby.” Mr. Hamad laid out the facts. It was not a question.

I felt my heart stop. I looked up at him like a deer in his headlights.

“This is not good, little one. You lie to protect the father of your child when he has done little to protect you. He did not even keep up with your paperwork.” Mr. Hamad sat back in his chair and looked directly into my soul.

I bit my lip, lowered my eyes to his chest, and started to feel shaky.

“You found yourself in a bad situation, and chose to cover for the one who deceived you. You love him.” Mr. Hamad’s voice sounded eerily calm and in control.

“Yes, sir.” I nodded.

“You want this baby to be born.” He continued.

“Yes, sir.” I nodded again. My head felt wobbly.

“I cannot condone what he did to you. Ms. Hassan was right.” He covered my right hand with his on the desktop.

“I’m so sorry I lied. Please. I need him. He’s a good man and I know he didn’t do this so he could send me home without my baby like the other two guys who didn’t know. I can’t send him to jail. He even gave me a signed confession in case I wanted to turn him in. He’s trying. He loves me,” I started to beg.

“Calm, little one. Take a breath.” He leaned towards me and put a hand on my chest to push me into sitting up straight. “Take a breath. It is ok.”

His hand felt reassuring. He rubbed my chest and put his other hand on my back to rub in slow circles that sent a calming wave through me.

“Tareq in jail and his family shamed will do nothing to help your situation.You do not seek that kind of justice. What he did to you is wrong, and you deserve the amends you want. You deserve to have your baby with him there to support you. I will speak with him to ensure this.” He assured me it was going to be ok. 

“What about the case against him? What if they try to lock him up? That lady is really scary,” I said. 

“We pay her good money to be scary. She protects our citizens and she is right to pursue this. However, without your cooperation, she knows this is a waste of time. She likely wants to send a message. Some of our elite families are not so well behaved and we do not want a country where the upper-income children run amok. The Zakar family must assure her that you will be cared for and have rights to your child no matter what happens,” he responded. 

“They did do that. They gave me the signed confession and set up an account for me in Arizona in case I wanted to go back. It would be enough to support me and the baby for a few years. They gave my aunt the information,” I explained. 

“Let’s see if they will increase the amount to cover 18 years. I will also assure her you are under my family’s protection and will be cared for. If Hassan knows we will handle this privately and you will not cooperate with a prosecution, she won’t pursue this.” He smiled like this was a very simple resolution. 

I thanked him and got to work on the last stack of papers. We didn’t hear anything about Tareq. He called to check one last time when I finished the last stack. 

“It is time for your nap, but I doubt you will be able to sleep. I will walk you back to my home.” Mr. Hamad closed out of his work and stood. 

It was two hours past the deadline and I wondered what was holding things up. He walked me back to his house and I helped Emerson start dinner. 

I kept wanting to ask what was going on and if he could call and check again, but I didn’t want to be a pest. I chopped vegetables and mixed up a salad while Emerson worked on the meat. Kasper came in and toasted some flat bread while Amir and Mr. Hamad watched a sports show on the big tv. 

We were just getting things to the table when Mr. Hamad took out his phone and announced, “This is the call. We find out now.” 

We all froze while he started talking in Arabic. Emerson came and put his arms around me. We waited for him to finish. I couldn’t read his face. I had no idea what the answer was.

30: Better Together

“Finish your plate. Tareq will be here soon, but I need to have a long talk before he sees you. There are troubling things I need to review with him first.” Mr. Hamad noticed me picking at the food and looking at the window as if Tareq would pop up in this heavily guarded estate.

“Yes, sir.” I immediately started scooping up the pile of salad Emerson had served me.

“So exciting! I can’t wait to meet him!” Kasper glowed.

“You met him before. Remember that party we went to for independence day? At Nasri’s house? He was the dude playing pool with my brother.” Amir noted.

“Oh, him! He’s so hot. Good job, Dylan!” Kasper laughed. He looked as if he remembered Tareq fondly.

“That’s my baby daddy.” I joked awkwardly. I was too anxious waiting for Tareq.

“He is here,” Mr. Hamad announced as he finished his dinner. “You will stay here until I call you to my office and we will discuss things together after I speak with Tareq first.”

“Oh yes, sir. Of course. I’ll stay put.” I nodded happily. My heart lifted to my throat at the thought that he was here and I’d be with him soon. I wanted to run and greet him, but I obeyed Mr. Hamad. 

He left to meet Tareq and I started to clear the table.

“We have staff for that,” Emerson signed and Amir translated.

“I need to do something.” I collected the plates and took them to the kitchen sink.

“We could spy on them! There’s a bush next to the window that is perfect for that,” Kasper offered.

“No, baby. You know dad doesn’t like that. He threatened to remove that bush after the last time.”  Amir shook his head. 

Kasper came over to help me with the dishes. Emerson pulled up a barstool across from the sink to watch me with an amused look.

I washed the dishes and then wiped down the table. It helped me relax and pass the time. Cleaning was one of the things I liked best about working at Muffin Manor. Putting things in order made me happy; made my world make sense.

After what felt like an hour, Emerson got an alert on his watch and signed that it was time. He walked with me to the office and knocked on the door. Mr. Hamad answered the door and I saw Tareq standing right behind him in a nice button up shirt with jeans.

He looked very tired but very hot. I wanted to rush and hug him, but I waited and looked at Mr. Hamad awaiting his permission.

“Go ahead. You are allowed touch. Everything must be supervised though, so there will not be intimate time. We do not wish to observe that.” Mr. Hamad smiled.

Tareq lunged for me first. He let out a short, whimpering noise like a puppy as he brought me in for a hug. He buried his nose where my neck met my shoulder and started to cry. 

It shocked me. I was the one who cried. I was the pregnant, emotional boy who needed his touch. He was supposed to be the big alpha beast. He melted into me and I wrapped my arms around his muscled chest as tightly as I could.

“I need you,” he sniffled. “I do not sleep and everything feel awful without my boy.”

“It’s ok.” I assured him. “It’s going to be ok.” We stood there holding onto each other so tightly. I smelled his cologne mixed with sweat. I felt his anxiety that matched my own.

“I miss you so much.” He pulled away from me and I saw his red, tear-streaked face.

“Take the couch. Sit please,” Mr. Hamad said. 

I turned to see him holding Emerson against his side as they observed our tender moment. Emerson watched us with a look of deep sadness. He signed something to his husband who nodded and signed back. “We will fix this.”

I walked Tareq to the couch. He sat and pulled me down into his lap, cuddling me as if I would float away.

“My parents yell and yell to me. I bring shame and scandal to them and, even worse, I hurt you. They care for you so much and see you are good for me.” Tareq sniffled.

“I miss them. Your dad is so nice, and your mom was really trying with me. I wish I could see them too.” I sighed.

“I cannot believe this. What happens? I never think they will take my boy and my baby from me. Is nightmare.” Tareq shook his head.

“Your choices were not great. These are the consequences,” Mr. Hamad noted.

“This is true. I try to fix this. I assure my Dylan that he is protected. I never think he will be taken from me against his choice.” Tareq sighed.

“It is for his protection until they can ensure you will care for him and not take his child.” Mr. Hamad countered.

“Of course I will not take the child and leave him unprotected. Dylan is everything I want. Is why I choose him to carry my seed. He is perfect in every way.” Tareq rubbed his nose against my neck sending little chills through me.

“Dylan told me about the confession letter and the money you placed for him in Arizona. That was a good move to redeem yourself. I am appalled that you would think it is acceptable to trick him like that. We cannot take that lightly.” Mr. Hamad was not going easy on Tareq.

Emerson gave a light smack to his husband’s shoulder and started to sign. Mr. Hamad’s face softened and he gave a light chuckle.

“Yes. My husband reminds me that I also tricked him when we got together. He was meant for another man, but I got to him first. I had to have him.” Mr. Hamad admitted.

“You stole him from another?” Tareq looked surprised. 

I sat quietly in his lap with his arms wrapped around me.

“I did. He was brought here on a scholarship for the university that was given by a friend of mine in hopes that he could win Emerson’s heart. My friend was called away on business and I moved in to scoop up my treasure. He was so helpless and beautiful. I could not resist.” Mr. Hamad admitted.

He looked like he didn’t want to talk about this, but Emerson was signing furiously and he’d never deny his husband’s communication. Emerson wanted this story told.

“I admit I stole you, but I did not impregnate you without your consent!” Mr. Hamad signed and said in his defense.

“You would have if it was an option back then! Technology made you honest.” Emerson signed.

Mr. Hamad burst out laughing and leaned in to put his arms around his husband and kiss him. I loved seeing their sweet interactions. They’d been together for decades and still looked like the center of each other’s worlds. I looked over at Tareq who was staring at me with a hazy smile of happiness.

“I never let you go again.” Tareq promised me.

“You will let him go in a few hours when he has bedtime. My house has a schedule and Dylan is on it,” Mr. Hamad corrected.

“Of course, sir.” I assured. 

Tareq nodded too.

“I think we understand each other. Tareq understands the rules if he wishes to visit you here. Let’s go back to the house. Amir and Kasper have a movie for tonight, and you two can catch up.” Mr. Hamad waved for us to follow them.

We went to the smaller house in the back, and I showed Tareq around. Mr. Hamad and Emerson settled into the living room with Amir and Kasper to watch some movie.

“This is your bedroom here? The bed is small,” he noted when I showed him where I was sleeping.

He held my hand and kept kissing different parts of me; hair, ears, cheeks, shoulders, anything within lip-reach. Things felt awkward between us. We missed each other, were desperate for each other’s touch, but we were here in the Hamad’s home; unfamiliar territory. Then there was the unknown of how much was appropriate here, and when he would next be ripped away from me.

“The bed is small, but fine for me. I bet we could both sleep comfortably there.” I wished we could.

“I will hold you so you don’t fall off.” Tareq assured.

“Maybe you can spend the night, if we keep the door open?” I hoped.

“Soon. In another week. They cannot prove anything and we will be able to be together without the supervision. I cannot wait to give my boy what he needs. We will be on good behavior until they finish with us. Is all we can do.” Tareq reached down and squeezed my bottom.

“I didn’t tell Ms. Hassan anything. She doesn’t believe me though.” I told him.

“We are not to discuss this. Is against the rules. Do not worry. We are together again soon and I visit you for most of the time until then.” He tried to look unconcerned, like everything would be ok soon enough,

“I can’t wait… I do like it here though! Everyone is so nice to me. It feels homey. We need something like this when we have the baby. Maybe just two bedrooms so the baby doesn’t get lost.” I pushed into his hold. His arms around me was everything I’d been missing the past few days.

“We will make a home. My space is too small. We can move into main house with my parents or find place of our own. Whatever my Dylan want. There is much room and my parents wish we will stay.” He kissed my hair.

“Ok boys. We are taking a movie break to get ice cream. Let’s go join them. My brother sets up quite the ice cream bar.” Mr. Hamad surprised us from behind.

We walked with him to the main house where Lincoln was with his husband, Samir, and their two boys who looked to be in their early teens. Kasper was pointing out things he wanted Amir to add to their ice cream. Emerson was making a bowl of fruit for himself.

“You guys came!” Lincoln called. “This is my husband, Samir. And our children… Oh, they wandered off.”

Samir turned and appraised me. He was a few years younger than Mr. Hamad, very handsome, and only slightly larger than his husband Lincoln. He offered me a warm smile and nod, but didn’t approach us.

“The boys are starting their game. I promised to play with them. Nice to meet you! Welcome to our home.” He took his ice cream and left quickly.

“They got the new Quadfoot4 game and they can’t stop playing it. I married a video game junkie and raised two more!” Lincoln laughed. He handed us a bowl and pointed out the toppings.

“You want ice cream?” Tareq asked.

“Maybe we can share one? I’m not super hungry.” I shrugged.

“Is good. I make for us.” Tareq added a few big scoops of vanilla and then we went through the toppings. I nodded at whatever he wanted. I was just happy to hold onto his arm and be with him.

Everyone settled in with their bowls around a huge kitchen island where the toppings sat.

“Are you guys excited for your trip? Did you get the new packs you wanted?” Lincoln asked Amir.

“We got them last week. Kasper couldn’t find the same color as the one that was destroyed in Bali.” Amir shrugged.

“We’re heading to South Africa for our five year anniversay. It’s where we met,” Kasper turned to me and explained.

“That’s awesome! I’ve never been to Africa!” I said.

Amir started to talk about their trip plans while Tareq and I worked our way through the ice cream bowl. It had granola and fruit. We listened as the family’s conversation turned to an upcoming fundraiser and then some business project Lincoln and Mr. Hamad were working on.

“Dylan is turning red. Is that normal?” Kasper asked suddenly and all eyes turned to look at me.

“I am?” I reached up and felt my face. My lips and cheeks felt puffy.

Tareq turned me to face him and the look in his eyes told me it was not normal.

“The fruit. Don’t eat anymore.” Emerson signed and came over to look at me.

“I’ll call his doctor. Dr. Rammat does not live far from here.” Mr. Hamad grabbed his phone and left the room.

“I feel ok, just a little swollen.” I tried to calm Tareq.

“You will be check out. Your doctor will come.” Tareq reached for a glass of water Kasper had brought. He handed it to me and told me to drink.

“I bet it was the Kapana grapes… or maybe the Ossium seeds in the granola.” Kasper started to look through the bowls on the counter.

“Rammat is on his way,” Mr. Hamad came back and moved towards me.

“I think I’ll be fine. He doesn’t need to come. It’s unnecessary.” I smiled for everyone to show them I was ok. They all looked at me with concern.

“You will be checked. The doctor can review you.” Tareq shook his head.

“I’m so tired of being the drama here. Really, I’m fine.” I tried to escape the room’s scrutiny.

“Doctor comes, we will make sure. We go sit there to ready for him.” Tareq led me over to a sitting area with a big comfy couch. 

All I could do was sit there and watch them all worry over me. It sucked, but at least I had Tareq there. I’d eat a pile of weird fruits if it meant I’d be in his arms. 

“Call it dumb luck,

But baby you and I

Can’t even mess it up

Though we both try.

It won’t always go

The way we planned it,

But the wolves came and went

And we’re still standing.“

-Maren Morris

31: Judge Almakri

“Ossium seeds. Yes, it is not in the North American diet. No new foods while he is carrying. It looks like a simple allergy, but call me if there are any symptoms developing or if it isn’t gone by morning,” Dr. Rammat said after looking me over.

It was so strange to see him outside of his office. He had on sweatpants and a t-shirt like he’d been working out. He gave me an allergy pill and had me drink more water while everyone stared at me like I’d drop at any minute.

“We will get him to bed now. I will check him later tonight.” Mr. Hamad walked with the doctor on his way out.

“I feel ok.” I told the room. Emerson, Kasper, Amir, Lincoln, Tareq, and even one of the house staff was there watching me. It was very uncomfortable being the center of attention.

“I help you get ready for sleep,” Tareq said.

He helped me to my feet and walked with me back to the smaller house. He kept his arms around me like I would fall down if he let go. I was the very fragile boy.

“I’m ok, I can walk.” I told him when we got out to the courtyard.

“You are pregnant. I will carry if you need me. You have no reason to be proud here. Everyone care for your safeness, my love.” Tareq sighed.

“I’m fine. It’s so embarrassing. I don’t want to cause problems here,” I admitted.

The Hamad family had it all together. Everyone was so perfect. I didn’t want to be the weird dramatic guy causing problems.

“You? You are my perfect, tiny boy. What problems do you cause? Everyone love you and just want you to be healthy. My baby is never problem. Let people love you, sweet boy.” Tareq rubbed my back and kissed my neck.

“Everyone was worried. I shouldn’t have tried new stuff.” I leaned into his hold.

“You turn very red. You eat strange new food. Of course they worry. The Hamad family take you in as their own, and you are younger than their children. They protect and care for you. Nothing will happen to you here,” he explained.

He walked me back to the house and followed me into the bedroom.

“Your pajama is warm enough? You have your cactus here to hug. What else can bring you comfort?” He started looking through my things.

“I’m ok. I need you more than any of that. Maybe they’ll let you stay.” I yawned.

I went towards the bathroom to shower. Tareq followed me with clean pajamas and underwear.

“Dylan should get ready for bed and it is time for you to head home,” Mr. Hamad met us in the hallway. He came and put his hand on my cheek to look at my allergic reaction.

“I help him to get ready and then I go. I worry for him. He carries my child. I can make sure he is well and then I go. Is that ok, sir?” Tareq asked him respectfully.

“I suppose that is fine. You comfort him…  You feel better, little one?” Mr. Hamad offered a kind smile.

“I feel ok, sir, just tired.” I yawned again for proof.

I went and took a shower while Tareq stayed with Mr. Hamad. My face felt better afterwards. Maybe the pill had kicked in, but I looked normal by the time I dried myself and brushed my teeth.

I found Tareq sitting on my bed holding squishy cactus and talking to Mr. Hamad and Emerson.

“I need to check you before I go,” Tareq said. He stood and came to look me over.

“It looks better. Just an allergy. I have super sensitive skin. I get weird red marks when I touch certain plants or dust. It fades when I wash. Standard white boy problems.” I told him.

“We will be safer with the food you get,” Emerson signed and Mr. Hamad translated.

“Will you stay until I fall asleep?” I pulled at Tareq’s arm.

“I think that will be fine. We will leave the doors open,” Mr. Hamad said. “But go right to sleep. He can not sleep here.”

There was a door to the hallway and a side door that connected to their bedroom. I’d never seen it open, but Emerson opened it to show a spacious room with a huge bed. I wanted to go investigate it, but Tareq’s touch was more important.

Tareq pulled up the covers for me to get in. He took his shoes off and slid in next to me then brought me into his chest with his arms around me. I settled in against his heartbeat.

“This feels so good.” I snuggled into his warmth.

“No talk, you will sleep now. We show them I can get you sleeping quick so maybe they let us do this every night, yes?” Tareq rubbed my back.

Sure, sure.“ I agreed. I closed my eyes and let his heart beat lull me to sleep. I felt so safe in his hold. I felt baby Ahmed rest happily inside me too.

+++—+++ +++—+++ +++—+++ +++—+++ +++—+++ +++—+++

“Dylan, meet judge Almakri. She is presiding over your case and wanted to speak with you herself.” Mrs. Hassan came into Mr. Hamad’s office with a lady who looked about the same age as her and wore an equally nice suit.

“Hello. Nice to meet you.” I stood and offered her my hand.

“You are very young. Younger than the other boys; too young to carry a child.” She shook my hand with a troubled look.

“I’m 19… ma’am. 20 soon.” I tried to keep the polite smile. She didn’t smile back.

“Please. Have a seat. Let’s begin.” Mr. Hamad pointed towards the table in his office.

Judge Almakri and Mrs. Hassan sat on one side while Mr. Hamad put me between him and his husband.

“You understand why I’m here, don’t you?   I’m not here to decide the guilt or innocence of Tareq Zakar. That is for another day. I need to determine what is best for you and where you should be placed. Since you have been uncooperative with the investigator, I came to interview you myself.” The judge looked at me as if I was something to be pitied.

“Yes, ma’am.” I nodded.

“Our suspicions were raised because you fit the profile of the other two victims. Even more so because you are younger and very handsome,” she began.

“I’m not a victim.” I said this and Mr. Hamad immediately reached for my hand.

“Let her speak. She decides your fate,” he cautioned. He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Sorry.” I nodded.

“That’s exactly the issue. You won’t know you’re a victim until it’s too late. Our job is to ensure that doesn’t happen. You need someone looking out for you and your baby.  The other boys were also orphans. I know you lost your parents a few years back. My condolences.” She paused like I should respond.

“Thank you. It’s been a crazy few years.” I looked over at Mr. Hamad who held the same pity in his eyes.

“Similar ages, similar family situations, similar beautiful looks, they even showed the same low levels of academic achievement.” She was laying out her case.

“My grades were good until I lost my family. It got really hard after that… but I got a job after I graduated,” I defended.

“The muffin store. Yes, but I was referring to your aptitude tests and the psychological assessment given by your therapist two years ago. It showed a low average IQ and problems with decision making. You are easily led, easily influenced.” She said all this as if it wasn’t the least bit offensive.

“I’m an idiot… you’re worried I’m too stupid to know if I’m being used?” I felt the anger rising in my throat.

“Dylan,” Mr. Hamad sounded like I was the one who said something offensive.

“That’s not what I’m saying. No one thinks that. You are a child and must be protected. That is my only job here,” judge Almakri sighed.

“Well maybe I’m too dumb to know what you meant. And how dare you go through my confidential information! And how did you even access that stuff? Aren’t there laws against those things? That’s a complete invasion of privacy.” I started to get out of my seat.

“Sit down. You should let her finish. I hope she has a good reason for invading your privacy. Allow her to explain,” Mr. Hamad cautioned.

“Dylan is right. It’s a great question. How dare anyone go into his private information,” judge Almakri began. “We know all of this because it was accessed by Mr. Zakar one month before he left for Tucson and met you. The internet here is monitored by our government. He was able to access it so we were as well.”

“Tareq looked it up?” I sank back into the chair. Emerson reached over and held my hand.

“He received it in an email from an investigator licensed in Chandler, Arizona. He paid $1,700 for a complete file on you. Here is a print out.” She opened a big leather case and took out a pink file folder stuffed with papers.

I opened it and saw copies of my state identification card, my student ID from high school along with pages from the yearbook that had me. I was only on three pages. I want that popular.

“The cactus club! We raised money for the desert preserve!” I pointed to a picture of me and Wes with the other people working the car wash.

“You were an even tinier tiny boy than you are now,” Mr. Hamad chuckled.

I did look super innocent there with a bandana on my head and holding up a big sponge.

“My medical records.” I started to dig into the file.

“You starved yourself when your parents passed,” Mrs. Hassan explained.

“I can’t eat when I get too sad.” I shrugged. “The therapy helped.”

“He didn’t eat the whole first day he was here,” Mr. Hamad added.

“Here’s the therapist assessments.” I found a thick stack with notes and test scores.

“My parents.” I pulled out printed newspaper stories from the accident.  “My parents.”

“Your mother was beautiful. Handsome father too.” Emerson signed.

“They were the best. It still feels so fresh and raw.” I traced my finger around the pictures.

“Does this seem normal that he accessed all of this before meeting you ‘accidentally’ in Arizona?” Judge Almakri asked.

I remembered Tareq had told me he’d found me in a dna database as the perfect match. Of course he would want to know more about me.

“I don’t know. Can I see him again? I know he loves me and we want to be together, to raise our baby together. Plus, I’m an adult now so don’t I get to choose?” I asked.

“You’re a minor here until 22. A guardian must be responsible for you and the Hamad family has volunteered for that. Are you happy with them as your guardian?” She asked.

“Of course! They are amazing. I wish they were my real family. Honestly, they pay more attention to me than my parents did.” I laughed.

“You are very much wanted here. My Emi and I love you very much, little one. You are welcome to stay with us even after the baby is born.” Mr. Hamad put his arm around me and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

“This is the best place for you and your baby,” Judge Almakri said.

“I’m getting married in a few weeks. I should be in the Zakar’s home after that.” I reminded them.

“Are you? We heard you gave him back the ring and only decided to go through with the wedding after the investigation was announced,” Mrs. Hassan countered.

“That’s not really true… Who told you that? Too many spies here!” I joked in disbelief.

“We have our sources. It is a very small country and people talk. It’s true though. What changed your mind if it wasn’t the investigation?” Judge Almakri was on the hunt.

“I got cold feet. We had an argument. It was dumb. His mom was really mean to me and he finally stood up to her.” I cobbled together a few truths. I was desperate to get back to Tareq.

“Very normal for any couple. They are very much in love. I know Tareq will be a good husband to him.” Mr. Hamad sounded convincing like he truly believed it.

“And you still wish to marry him after finding the file?” The judge pointed to the array of papers.

“I’ll hear him out. I’m sure he just wanted to get to know me. They have lots of money so maybe that’s normal for them? Maybe he has a good reason? Can I see him? I really need to see him.” I was tired of this meeting.

“If you want to jump off a cliff, none of us can stop you. But I’ve given the investigators six more days to come up with something substantial. Until then, you will stick with the supervised visits. I’m keeping that order in place. If the Hamads see any reason to keep him from their home, that is their right.” The judge looked disappointed in me.

“What about my doctor visit? I’m supposed to get the 8 week scan. I have to go to his office for that. I’d really like to see my baby and make sure he is doing ok.” I pressed. This was important.

“I have no problem accompanying him and the father. I have an easy Monday schedule,” Mr. Hamad assured her.

“Yes. Your medical needs come first. You will go there and return here. No side trips. Very well. We will see ourselves out.” The two ladies packed up and stood to leave.

“Thank you. Both of you. I know you are just doing your jobs and want me to be ok. I just wish we could prove that what happened to the other two boys isn’t happening here.” I tried to end things nicely.

Mr. Hamad walked them out while I sat there with Emerson.

I looked at him with worry. He shook his head and patted my shoulder to tell me not to worry.  I hoped everything worked out soon.

32: Had Enough

Tareq came to the Hamad home right as Emerson and I were making dinner. 

Kasper was updating his social media with videos of a dance that featured a heavy beat and electronic cow noises. He kept getting it wrong and starting over. He begged me to do it with him, but I wasn’t feeling that well. Amir eventually joined him.

The meeting that morning left me anxious and a little disturbed. Tareq’s investigator had gathered a complete file on me. I tried to rationalize it like Tareq just wanted to know how to win me, or maybe he had just asked for basic facts and the investigator had gone way beyond what he’d wanted. That had to be it.

“My boy feels better?” Tareq surprised me from behind and slid his arms around my waist to pull me back into his warm cage of muscles.

“I don’t feel good at all. My stomach’s all weird,” I whispered and set down the cilantro I was tearing. “We need to talk.”

“I know. Mr. Hamad told me of the judge visit. You are angry, my love?” He kissed my neck and nibbled on my ear.

I turned to see Mr. Hamad coming in the front door. He caught us embracing and raised an eyebrow. I guess he expected we would argue, maybe we should.

“Is it ok if we go talk in the courtyard?” I asked Mr. Hamad.

“Yes, but stay where Emerson can watch from the window,” he agreed.

I washed my hands and then pulled Tareq out to the courtyard where there was patio furniture around a fire pit and bubbling fountain.

Tareq had come from work and looked so hot in a black dress shirt that hugged his bulging pecs and biceps tucked into grey pants that were tight enough to show his thick thighs and ample ass. I really needed sex time with him.

“He say you see the file I receive from the investigator. Is a lot, I know this. You will think I am crazy person,” he started. He reached for my hands and held them in his as he looked me over with concern.

“I don’t want to talk about that. I’m so tired of talking about that.” I shook my head and moved away from him.

I should have wanted to talk about it, but seeing him here made me hold back. I didn’t want to argue or have negativity when I only got to see him for a few hours. Everything about this was so fucked up and all I could think about was getting him alone and spending a few hours exploring each other’s bodies.

He closed in on me as I walked towards the fountain. He came up from behind and held me as I looked at the fish swimming around in the small pool at the base of it. They had some exotic, fat fish with gold, red, and white coloring.

“What do you want to talk about then?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Anything. The wedding, where we’ll live, my doctor’s appointment on Monday, something happy. I need happy. It was so awful this morning. Everyone looked at me like I’m some stupid kid who is walking into fire. I hate this. I want it to be over.” I bit my lip and shook my head.

“Baby.” Tareq turned me to face him and hugged me tightly. “It will be over soon. They know there is nothing, but they give this restrictions a week to try and tempt you. How I can put you to feel better? Is too much stress for my baby.”

I put my face into his button-up shirt and took a deep breath filled with his scent. It helped, but also made me feel dizzy like I’d been holding my breath for too long. He eased back to look at me and I stumbled against the side of the fountain.

“No, you are falling!” He caught me. “Is time to lie down. Is all too much for you. You will rest.”

He walked me back to the little house and to the couch. I fell against the pillows and rubbed my head. Mr. Hamad looked up from where he was working at the table.

“He looks pale. More than normal.” He came over to check on me.

“Is too hard on him, the investigation, the separation. He is troubled. It make him dizzy and he almost fell.” Tareq sat and pulled me onto his lap.

I turned so my side was against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head on his shoulder.

“Let me see. You don’t feel well, little one?” Mr. Hamad asked.

“I don’t. I can’t do this anymore. I’m so tired of it.” I sniffled and wiped a few tears from my cheek.

“It is hard to be apart from each other, but it is the judge’s order for now. The meeting today did not persuade her to change. I wish there was something I could do. We have to be patient and wait. It is only a few more days and Tareq will visit every evening.” Mr. Hamad sighed.

“I don’t even have my phone to text Wes or my Aunt. Aren’t they worried about me?” I asked.

Ms. Hassan had taken my phone to avoid Tareq’s influence but also for evidence. They wouldn’t find much on it since it was the new one he’d gotten me that worked in this country.

“Wes has been staying with Ishaq’s family. I told him he could come see you soon. I spoke with your aunt. She knows you are not feeling well and we are taking care of you. You can call her if you wish. I didn’t want her to worry,” Tareq said.

“If I can’t be with you, then I want to go home. I’m not being charged with a crime, and I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s too hard and weird and… this isn’t working. I keep trying to fix it, but it’s just not going to work. I need to go home.” I looked over at Mr. Hamad who was signing my words for Emerson who’d come to sit on the coffee table in front of me.

“You won’t be allowed to leave until the investigation is over. They consider you a witness as well as a victim. They’re holding your passport until this is resolved. I’m sorry, little one. It is not possible to leave.” Mr. Hamad put his hand on my knee and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“That’s so not okay. I didn’t do anything wrong and I’m a US citizen. How can they just keep me prisoner here?” I shook my head.

Tareq sat silently, holding me in his lap and letting Mr. Hamad respond. He didn’t want to overstep and lose his privileges of visiting me here.

“I’’m very sorry, Dylan. You know that I already suggested sending you home. They did not agree to that. All I can do is make you as comfortable as possible in this difficult time.” Mr. Hamad used a soft and gentle tone with me. I could hear the sadness in his voice.

“I should have never come to this country. I was so stupid to come here. Wes tried to warn me and I didn’t listen.” I raised my eyes to meet Mr. Hamad’s.

I wasn’t trying to insult him or his people. It’s how I felt. Still, I immediately regretted it since this was all home for them.

I looked over at Emerson for help. He signed something to Mr. Hamad who immediately started to shake his head in disagreement.

“My Emi suggests we drive you to Dubai where you can get a new passport from the US Embassy. That would work for you, but Tareq would be a fugitive and they would return him very quickly to the authorities here. They would not allow him to board a flight to the US, and you wouldn’t be able to see him for a long time,” Mr. Hamad explained.

“But Dylan could go home with his family. Is that what you want, my heart? I don’t care what happens to me. I only want you to feel better. I hate see you so upset for my doing. Do you wish to go?” Tareq asked.

“I want to be with you. I want to sleep in the same bed and wake up together and not have to get permission to see you. I need more.” I leaned into his chest.

“We will be married soon. Once you are legally mine, they can not separate us. Mr. Hamad has very generously let me visit you. It is the best we can do for now.” Tareq kissed my hair and rubbed my back.

“This is so messed up. I followed the rules and no one cares. I told them I need you and they don’t care. I always follow the rules. I always do what the people in charge tell me to do, but… It doesn’t matter to them if I’m good or bad. Your country doesn’t care either way.” I was at the end of my patience.

Mr. Hamad looked like he understood my frustration. He turned to Emerson and translated. He looked like he was asking for his husband’s advice.

“What if we let Tareq stay overnight? Keeping them separated is not working and is harming Dylan and his baby. We cannot be cruel to him and participate in keeping him alone. He’s done everything they asked of him short of turning in Tareq,” Emerson signed.

“I agree. I will consult my lawyer. You two should go and nap. Dylan needs rest. We will eat dinner when I get answers on our options.” Mr. Hamad stood up then leaned down to kiss my cheek before leaving.

Tareq grabbed his bag and followed me to the bedroom. He changed out of his suit into clothes he’d packed. I watched with interest as he stripped down to a tight pair of black boxer briefs.

“You think they’ll let you stay?” I asked. I hugged squishy cactus as he put on a t-shirt and shorts.

“It seem that way. I hope that he will be able to overcome the judge.” Tareq pulled up his shorts and looked at me with sadness.

“I meant it though. I can’t do this anymore.” I shook my head.

“Is not good to threaten like that though. He is very powerful man here. Yet, he is very taken with you. Is strange. They are some of the wealthiest in our country yet very private. Is so rare they open their home or get involved in a public affair. And certainly he never back down or change his mind like he does with you. Perhaps you remind him of his Emerson.” Tareq came to lie down with me.

He pulled me into his chest. I snuggled in against his heartbeat. I was starting to feel hopeful which was dangerous because Mr. Hamad seemed set on following the judge’s orders, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to be disappointed.

“I hope he lets you stay. I don’t want to go home, but I can’t deal with this anymore. It’s too hard here, Tareq. I’m alone. And they keep finding weird crap you did. I love you, but… red flags, bro.” I rubbed my cheek against his chest.

“I know is not good, but I try now to make that things are good for you. If you must go home, I will do anything I can to join you there, and you will have the best care. We pay for top doctor there. I cannot allow that you suffer more for my crimes. A man does not do that to his love.” Tareq spoke slowly and rubbed my bottom until I yawned against his chest.

I felt so tired, but I didn’t sleep. I laid there silently and listened to his heart beating. After a few minutes, he took out his phone and balanced it on his chest next to me. He rubbed my bottom with one hand and swiped through work emails with his other.

Mr. Hamad came in after a long while. He whispered in Arabic to Tareq. Tareq whispered back in their language. They thought I was asleep, no need for English. They went back and forth. I wanted to know the answer, but I also just wanted to lie here and wait a few minutes before the disappointment came.

“Dylan,” Tareq whispered which was weird since the only reason he’d call my name was to wake me up. “Is good news, my heart.”

“What happened?” I yawned and lifted my head a little.

“Tareq will stay, for now. The attorney was able to convince a superior court judge to put this on hold until he can review Judge Almakri’s decree. The judge will sign the stay this very evening, but has already given his word. This is temporary, but good for now.” Mr. Hamad came and stood by the edge of the bed as Tareq sat up.

“He can sleep here with me?” I sat up excitedly.

“Unless we hear otherwise, yes. Is that better?” Mr. Hamad looked very pleased with himself.

I jumped out of the bed and ran to hug him. He hugged me back and laughed.

“Thank you so much, I am so sorry I insulted your country and everything. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry, sir,” I held onto him. His arms wrapped me in a tight dad hug.

“It is ok. You’ve been in crisis. I know you are frustrated here. I hope this makes it better.” He let me go and I saw Emerson standing there happily.

“We will have the bed changed while we eat dinner. Everything is ready, come.” Emerson signed.

“Thank you.” I signed repeatedly to Emerson. I was picking up a few signs. 

Tareq stood and took my hand. He kissed my forehead before following Emerson and Mr. Hamad out to the dining table. Things were looking up.

33: It’s Been Too Long

“Moo Cow Electronica already has almost 900 upvotes and over 2,000 views!” Kasper held up his phone to show the video he’d posted of his dance on TekTuk. 

The video showed him popping his hips and shuffling his feet while milking imaginary udders over his head while Amir stood behind him looking amused.

“So eleven hundred people watched your cow dance but didn’t like it? I will have the guards hunt them down. You worked very hard on your cow dance and it deserves appreciation.” Mr. Hamad teased with a smile that said he very much adored his son-in-law.

“It happens. People enjoy my content without leaving an upvote. It’s so easy too. They see the star button, but just don’t tap on it. It’s so easy to tap the star ! I would totally get more stars if Amir let me take my shirt off. That’s how Moo Cow Electronica is meant to be enjoyed,” Kasper noted before taking a bite of his taco.

“The days of using your body for attention are over. I am the only one allowed to tap your star .” Amir kissed Kasper’s cheek, leaving a smear of salsa.

“Kasper used to do modeling, but gave it up to work with me,” Emerson signed.

“You were a model? That’s crazy! I could never do something like that,” I thought out loud.

“It was too much, and not as fun as you’d think. But you could totally do it. You’re hella cute. I still have contacts if you’re interested.” Kasper nodded confidently.

“Dylan will be busy with the baby soon. I do not wish him to work.” Tareq beamed. 

He was so excited to be able to stay here. I was too. I couldn’t go on without him. I’d reached the edge of the cliff. 

While we were eating dinner, two workers came to bring in a bigger bed. They carried it back to the bedroom and a third worker came with a basket of pillows and bedding. Mr. Hamad directed them in Arabic before coming back to finish his dinner.

“I am so jealous you’re having a baby! We made an appointment for next week with Dr. Rammat. I have to do the physical first, but he said I should be good. What did they check when you did yours?” Kasper asked me.

“Dylan did not have a physical. I started him on the pill without his knowledge.” Tareq admitted. I guess he was hoping to earn points with Mr. Hamad for his honesty.

“Oh… huh.” Kasper looked between us with shock.

“They are super addictive. Once I had the first one, I craved them until conception. The doctor said that’s a sign they worked. My body didn’t want them anymore because they worked.” I’d forgotten about that until Tareq brought it up.

“You did not know what the pills did?” Amir looked surprised.

“I thought they were for sleep. They did make me really tired, but also very… well, needing a man’s touch.” I opened up.

“I can’t wait for that. I was reading a blog about it.” Kasper rubbed his shoulder against Amir’s chest.

“I do not need a pill to get you excited. I do an excellent job!” Amir defended.

“Oh! Yeah no. You do a great job, but it makes things extra sensitive… like super desperate for dick.” Kasper said/signed this and then froze when he noticed the disapproving looks from Emerson and Mr. Hamad.

“This is not appropriate family time conversation.” Mr. Hamad shook his head.

“Sorry. Uh yeah so we have our appointment soon! Super excited for it!” Kasper recovered.

We finished dinner and I started to clear the table, but Emerson stopped me.

“You should have alone time with your fiance,” Emerson signed. He nodded at Tareq and then towards the hallway to the bedrooms.

“Oh, no! I mean, um…” I felt awkward leaving with everyone knowing what we were going to do. But I also really needed to go and do that.

“Yes, thank you!” Tareq took my hand and pulled me towards the hall.

“His bedtime is in two hours.” Mr. Hamad reminded him.

“Dylan will be fully sleeping by then, sir.” Tareq promised.

I couldn’t look back at the Hamad family, it was weird and embarrassing. But I definitely needed alone time with Tareq.

“I like the bed, not too big. My boy will not get lost,” Tareq noted as he led me to the bedroom.

The workers had replaced my snug twin-sized bed with one that was just about two feet wider. They’d put a new comforter and extra pillows. Right between the pillows sat squishy cactus holding a small gift bag.

“Oh, what is this?” I asked and went for the bag. I handed it to Tareq.

“Is lubricant! This is good stuff. You will like.” He pulled out a small bottle. “Oh and oils… we will investigate these another time.”

“They gave us sex lube?” I covered my face with one hand.

“Is ok, my heart. They know our need for each other. Is not as if they wish to watch us,” he laughed.

We heard a loud action movie playing from the living room. Tareq went to close the door. They were giving us privacy. It was so weird.

“They put lube in squishy cactus’ lap. Poor cactus.” I laughed.

“He is born from our love. Come, my baby.” Tareq flopped down on the bed and patted his chest.

“I thought we’d never get back to this… even just being alone with you feels like a dream.” I went to lie down next to him and he pulled me over into his chest.

“I missed this beautiful bottom.” He rubbed a hand down my back and gave my ass a rough pat.

“I definitely missed you.” I leaned up to kiss him and slid my hand down to his bulge. He was already hard.

“My boy. I miss my perfect boy. Is a nightmare to be away from you.” He looked so guilty.

“Never again.” I slid on top of him and then sat up to straddle his lap. I put my hands on his chest and looked down to see him smiling up at me. He put his hands on my hips and then rubbed up and under my shirt to slide it up.

“You don’t have the tummy yet to show a baby is there,” he said as he rubbed his hand over where Ahmed was growing.

“He’s still so small. I feel it though. It feels like I ate a big meal.” I bit my lip as he appraised me.

He pushed my shirt up and I lifted my arms to slide it off of me. My nipples started to buzz at his touch. He raised up and started to bite and suck them.

“My boy, my love.” He kissed across my chest back and forth to tease my nipples with his teeth and tongue. My body started to tingle. He undid the button on my shorts and then rubbed his hands back to my ass. I pushed up from him to slide my shorts and briefs off.

“Your turn.” I slid back down his legs until I could get to his bulge. I leaned down and used my teeth to pull at the drawstring on his shorts and growled.

“Happy puppy.” He put a hand on my head and guided me while using the other hand to push down his shorts and underwear. I got smacked in the face by his raging hard cock.

“Fuck,” I hissed and immediately dove onto it. He filled my mouth, stretched my lips, and poked back at my throat with his throbbing part. I could taste the precum and it immediately made my brain start to buzz with happy vibes. My body shivered in anticipation that his seed would soon fill me.

“That’s my boy.” He leaned back and kept his hand on my head, his fingers pushing through my hair as he guided me to suck him.

“My pretty baby,” he praised as I worked his cock. He let me slurp him for a few minutes, but then pushed me back. He knew where I needed his seed the most.

He guided me to turn around so he could get to my hole. I sat up, straddling his face, as he started to lick me. His thick tongue teased my hole and then dove inside to open me for him. I sat up straight and arched my back as he pleasured me from below.

“That… oh yeah. That’s it,” I whined. I bounced on him as his tongue pushed deeper inside me and he soon pushed a finger in beside it to ready me for his monster meat.

“Uh huh. Yes… Thank you, daddy.” My cock flopped around in front of me as I bounced on his tongue and dribbled precum on his shirt. I leaned forward, putting my hands on the bedspread on either side of his chest. He raised his head to keep up with me and licked me out with expert technique.

My body started to weaken as he filled me with pleasure. I leaned forward and fell against him, gasping for air as waves of happy rushed through me.

“My baby is ready.” Tareq slid out from under me and I fell forward with my chest against the covers. He got off the bed and shucked the rest of his clothes then knelt behind me and grabbed the lube.

“Ohhh!” I felt two lubed up fingers slide into me and I gripped the blanket and looked back at him. He gently pried me open, touching little spots inside me that set off fireworks.

“Fuck, my baby so happy. I love how your body respond to its master.” Tareq beamed.

“Yes, sir. Fuck me, daddy.” I begged.

He slicked up his cock then lined up the tip to my hole and started to push into me. The fat tip of his rock hard cock pushed through the ring and started to slide in. He’d done his job and I was ready for him. He knew what he was doing.

“Oh, my boy. So good,” he praised as he slid into me. He leaned down over my back, kissing my neck and rubbing my chest. He pinched my nipples and pushed in deeper.

“Fuck,” I whined. I bit the comforter to stop from screaming as the thick shaft began to fill me.

“This is what my boy begs for?” He asked with confidence. His lips slid up to my ear.

“Yes, daddy. So good. Please,” I whimpered. Every inch of me tingled and pulsed at his touch. I felt a deep release from the week of separation.

He started to pound me, whispering praises in my ears. I barely heard him as I was overcome with waves of pleasure that felt like one long orgasm. My legs started to shake as he pounded my ass. I was bent forward in a triangle with my ass in the air, my knees and chest against the comforter.

He held onto me, knowing I’d fall forward from his pounding. He teased my neck with his teeth then slid them along my jawline. He told me again and again that I was his as if that was ever in doubt.

“Oh fuck,” I finally formed a half sentence. My body started to shake wildly as my cock erupted and sprayed all over the very nice bedspread. We should have thought ahead and laid a towel down, but things were full steam ahead.

“Yes, cum for me, my perfect love.” Tareq pounded me hard as my hole clamped down on him while I coated the bed with cum.

“I am close,” he warned as I finished. He sped up, slamming his cock into my hole, his heavy nuts swinging against my own. His chest pressed down against me while he held me tightly.

“Fuck,” he whispered then let out several deep growls. His cock twitched violently inside me as he filled me with his seed. I felt hot shots of his juice as he fired off inside me.

“Huhhhh,” I whined as my body began to soak up his seed. I felt my muscles shift, like a deep massage. He kept pounding my hole, pushing what I needed deep inside me.

He finished, then pushed his cock all the way inside and held it there as we collapsed against the bed. He rolled onto his side, spooning me

“I love you so much,” he praised as we settled in and recovered our breath together.

“I love you too,” I said when my body finally recovered enough to speak. My throat felt a little raw, but the rest of me was in full zen happy mode.

I started to fall asleep in his hold, but he woke me to go for a shower. We pulled on shorts and t-shirts then sneaked down to the bathroom while the others were watching their movie.

“We made a mess,” I laughed when we got to the bathroom. The blanket would need a deep cleaning.

“Is ok, I will clean you for sleeptime and then ask for new blanket,” Tareq assured.

We washed each other, pausing to kiss and touch and play. We brushed our teeth together and he dried me with a big towel.

“Is bedtime. You are sleepy?” he asked.

I nodded and he kissed my forehead as he brought me in for a hug. He walked me quietly back down the hallway wrapped in the oversized towel.

“They cleaned?” I asked when we got to the bedroom.

The bed had been made with a fresh blanket and squishy cactus was once again resting between the pillows.

“This is full-service house,” Tareq chuckled.

“VIP!” I giggled.

“Is nearly bedtime. Pajamas, now,” he ordered.

We dressed and snuggled into the new bed. He held me while I fell asleep against his chest. My world was at peace again, things were back to good.

34: Chief Negotiator

“Dylan, little one. You look much better this morning.” Mr. Hamad looked up from his coffee and laptop as I walked out into the living room.

Tareq had left early to go home and change for work. He promised to pack a bag so he could come right back here after he finished his workday. I fell back asleep after he left.

“I feel good again. Thank you for letting him stay, sir.” I went over to the table where he sat.

“Come and sit, grab a plate of food first. We need to review some business. The Zakars have sent over the marriage proposal. My lawyer is looking it over, but he says it is good. I need to review it with you.” Mr. Hamad pointed to the chair next to him.

“Tareq did a proposal already. That’s how I got this ring.” I held up my finger where Tareq’s ring shimmered in the light. “That was before you met me. He had this whole setup at a nice restaurant. It was so sweet.”

“No, little one. There is a contract between the families. We are your guardians here, so we must approve the marriage.” Mr. Hamad explained as I grabbed a plate and scooped some fruit from a bowl on the table.

“No! You have to approve it. Please.” I set down my plate and looked at him with begging eyes.

“Calm, little one. Eat your breakfast. Of course we approve of Tareq. It is your choice. This is to ensure you get what is customary for families of our status. They have made a proposal for the financial exchange.” Mr. Hamad explained.

“Like a prenup? They think I want their money?” I sighed.

“No. That is your culture. In our culture, the family of the one who proposes, in this case Tareq, must make certain assurances to grant the request. They have made offers to you.” Mr. Hamad pushed my plate towards me to urge me to eat.

“I don’t want anything. His mom already thought I was a gold digger. We can prove it by not taking any money.” I picked at the fruit on my plate.

“No, little one. You are very sweet, but that would offend them to reject their gifts. It is a promise that you will be taken care of if something happens to Tareq. You are giving them a grandchild, an heir for their youngest son. You are bringing much to the table.” Mr. Hamad put his hand on top of mine and lifted the fork to my lips to eat.

“Ok. What are they offering?” I asked with a mouthful of pineapple.

“First, they are posting a hundred thousand in a savings account that will be yours in the event of a divorce, or death, or after ten years of marriage,” he pointed to the laptop screen where there was a document.

“That’s in Arabic,” I laughed.

“Oh yes, let’s change it.” He clicked a button and the words transformed into English.

“Second, they are paying off the mortgage on your family home in Tucson. Your parents were smart and did not owe much, but your aunt wishes to stay there and take care of it so she will receive a monthly payment for upkeep of your family’s estate.” He scanned over the paragraph stating this.

“Estate? It’s half the size of your backhouse here… but that’s very nice of them. She works so hard and she really took care of me when my parents died.” I smiled. Aunt Hilda would be so happy with that news.

“They are trying, little one. They want to show you appreciation for marrying their son and not denouncing him for his crimes. You are keeping them from grave scandals, and bringing new life to their family. They are showing gratitude and welcoming you to the family. My job as your guardian is to ensure their offers are worthy of your position.” He put his hand on my back and pet me while I helped myself to a muffin.

“My position is pregnant orphan boy from Arizona.” I raised an eyebrow.

“You belong to the house of Hamad. One of the oldest and most prestigious of our kingdom. With our participation in your wedding and taking you as our own, the Zakar family will rise to the top of our social system. This is of no importance to me. I detest the thought that we are envied for our wealth and status, but to Tareq’s mother… it is a dream come true.” He shook his head like this bothered him greatly.

“So I went from being a nobody to a super somebody?” I was amused by this.

“No, little one. You were always a super somebody. I hate that you will be exposed to this. My Emi has worked hard to dispel the buzz around our family. He has worked hard on charities to raise the standard of living for all Satrans, but this only brought our family more celebrity. There is nothing more upper-class than rejecting the upper-class and my Emi is much beloved for his efforts.” Mr. Hamad shrugged.

“This sounds really complicated. So what else do I get?” I pointed to the screen.

“What else do you wish? I thought the offer was fair, but I will amend it with anything you wish to request.” Mr. Hamad looked at me expectantly.

“I don’t want any of it, well the house paid off is nice for my family. Maybe college or something? What if I want a job some day?” I asked.

“College is free here for all, and I doubt Tareq would permit you to work outside of the home. You could always join Kasper and Emerson with the charities. They would love to have you. The Zakar’s offer is quite fair considering the fund they already set up for you. They are not asking for any assurances since you have Tareq’s confessions which would certainly earn you full custody of the child. I would testify on your behalf which would almost guarantee a positive outcome.” Mr. Hamad assured.

“Thank you, sir. I really hope none of that ever happens.” I looked down at my plate. I couldn’t imagine Tareq divorcing me or trying to take our baby.

“Of course. It was not my intention to depress you, but as your guardian I must plan for the worst. Please know, little one, that no matter what happens, you can always come to me for protection and care. Emerson and I think of you as our own. You are very much loved here.” Mr. Hamad put his arm around me then leaned down to kiss my forehead.

“I really wish I’d grown up in your home. It’s a very special place.” I meant that. They had so much warmth and care for each other, like my own parents had for me.

“There is room here to build another addition for you and Tareq.” He smiled like he was joking, but his words sounded sincere.

“We’ll be ok in the Zakar house. Tareq is working on plans to add a room or two to his house like this one.” I told him.

“He showed me the plans. His bachelor pad is much like mine was when I met my Emi. We started adding rooms and then just bulldozed the place to build this. When my father died, we decided to stay here. My Emi didn’t want to move into the big house so my younger brothers took it over. We prefer a smaller place where we could interact with our children.” Mr. Hamad looked up as Emerson came in from outside.

Emerson came over to kiss his husband and see what we were looking at. Mr. Hamad explained the contract.

“I know the Zakars will take care of you. I’ve invited them for dinner tomorrow night,” Emerson signed.

“They want to see you, Dylan. We thought it would be good after your 8 week checkup tomorrow,” Mr. Hamad said.

“Sure, yeah.” I took a deep breath. “I guess I need to see them eventually.”

+++–+++

“I missed you so much. I’ve been driving Ishaq and Tareq crazy asking how you are! We have to sue them. I understand keeping Tareq away, but me? That’s effed, Dylan!” Wes was waiting there at Dr. Rammat’s office when we went for my checkup. He attacked me with a hug.

“Ok, settle down. We can’t get Dylan too excited.” Tareq pulled Wes back and Ishaq took Wes’ hand.

“I know. It’s been really crazy.” I introduced Wes to Mr. Hamad and Emerson.

The nurse checked me in and weighed me before Dr. Rammat looked me over in private with Tareq. When he finished, we went back out to get the others to go see the baby in the scanning room.

The six of us went up to the scanning room with Dr. Rammat. He told us Reyk had already been reassigned to another pregnancy. My new monitor would be at the Hamad house later that week. He was finishing up another assignment, and would work with Emerson on my nutrition and exercise needs.

We got up to the room and it was a little crowded with all the people, but I was happy for the support and having everyone share in this moment with us. Tareq helped me into the scanning booth, and then stood between me and the others while I slid off my shirt.

“You haven’t been keeping up with your exercises. You’re still so small,” Dr. Rammat noted with concern. I looked over to see Mr. Hamad signing for his husband.

“What does he need to do? If you give us the exercises, we will make sure he does them,” Emerson signed and Mr. Hamad translated.

“He knows them. He was doing them with Reyk. I notice his weight hasn’t improved either. He needs to bulk up a bit. Trust me, Dylan. It will make things easier as your baby grows. Follow the plan,” Dr. Rammat urged.

“He will improve by the next appointment,” Tareq assured.

“He’s had a very emotional two weeks, but I assure you things will settle down for him. No more troubles,” Emerson added.

“He has a good support team. If Dylan will not do it on his own, I urge you all to work together on this.” Dr. Rammat pushed.

“I’ll do better. Sorry.” I bit my lip and looked down at my shoes.

“It is not your fault. There is too much happens to you.” Tareq put his hands on my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

“We will support you, little one,” Mr. Hamad agreed.

“Let’s see the baby!” Dr. Rammat moved behind Tareq to adjust the scanner plate over my midsection. He positioned it and reminded me to stand still.

He went to his computer setup and hit some buttons. The machine whirred to life and an image appeared on the big screen.

“Ahmed! Hi baby!” I got a surge of happy when I saw him appear on the screen. He looked so different from just two weeks ago. He had an oversized head and chunky body with tiny arms and legs beginning to sprout.

“My little bean! He is perfect.” Tareq kept moving his attention between me and the screen. His eyes went wide and he had the biggest grin on his lips.

“Perfect. That’s just what he should look like,” Dr. Rammat confirmed.

“Oh dude, that’s inside you! It’s a baby for real!” Wes looked at me with shock like he finally believed I was pregnant.

I looked over at Mr. Hamad who had Emerson in front of him. He held him protectively while resting his chin on Emerson’s shoulder. They both looked at the screen like they were seeing a new world. Mr. Hamad looked over at me and winked.

“It’s my baby. 8 weeks down. How many to go?” I asked.

“It will depend on his growth, but generally at the 6 month mark we will need to remove him.” Dr. Rammat told the room.

“But it takes 9 months, no?” Wes asked.

“It does. He will spend two months in our care until he is ready to live on his own. We have a special chamber and care team that will simulate what he experience in the womb. We currently have three babies completing their final stages here.” Dr. Rammat took pictures on his computer of our baby.

“Can we see them?” Wes asked as if we were touring the facilities.

“No, that would need permission from their parents. We are a discrete clinic. Dylan and Tareq are the only ones who can view as they are clients here.” The doctor finished up his scan and then turned off the screen.

“Everything looks healthy, Dylan. Just remember to get back on the program. I expect gains when you next visit.” Dr. Rammat looked at me with concern.

“Don’t you worry, Dylan will be your patient of the month by the next visit,” Mr. Hamad assured.

I put my shirt back on and we went back to the doctor’s office. He gave my the 3-D model in a small glass case. Ahmed was the size of a quarter. He was really starting to look human. I carried him in my hands the rest of the day.

“You have to come hang out with me some. I’m not supposed to leave the Hamad house, but they have tons of fun stuff there and Ishaq can come too,” I begged Wes as we walked back to the parking garage.

“I will. I’m so happy for you! I can’t believe it’s really going to happen.” Wes shook his head. He hugged me then left with Ishaq.

Tareq held my hand and led me back to Mr Hamad’s SUV. He opened the door and helped me inside then slid in next to me.

“We will start the exercises and nutrition right after your nap, little one,” Mr. Hamad said as he started up the car.

“I will, sir. I just kind of forgot about it with Reyk gone and everything going on.” I snuggled under Tareq’s arm and stared at the model of baby Ahmed.

“I will have the lawyer discuss the health impacts of this separation with the judge. It has been very detrimental to your health and the baby’s development.” Mr. Hamad looked at me in the rear view mirror as we headed home.

“It’s all better now.” I pushed into Tareq’s chest and he wrapped both arms around me. Things were going to be ok.

35: Dinner Party

“Dylan! We were so worried until we heard that the Hamad family had taken you in. We thought you were in a shelter somewhere. You are very fortunate they took you. We knew they would treat our boy and his baby very well!” Mrs. Zakar gave me an exaggerated hug as Mr. Hamad and Emerson looked on.

“I’m so glad we get to see you again. I can’t imagine how scared you were being taken from Tareq. I’m furious that we were not able to bring you home!” Mr. Zakar was next. He gave me a warm hug and genuine words.

Tareq’s parents had come for dinner. We gathered in the main house where there was a grand dining hall that looked like it could seat 50 people at one long table made of ornately carved wood. The room was cavernous with a high ceiling and a wall of windows that looked out over the kingdom.

The entire Hamad family had gathered including the middle brother I hadn’t met before. His name was Zaid and he was shorter and thinner than Ali (my Mr. Hamad) or Samir. He was accompanied by a younger man who was tall and excessively muscled.

Samir and Lincoln had their two sons. Kasper was there with Amir. Amir’s twin, Ali Raza, was there as well with his girlfriend, a tall Egyptian girl I recognized from some very popular TekTuk videos. She did crazy good remakes of pop songs. She had tons of followers.

Wes and Ishaq were joined by Ishaq’s parents who seemed quite comfortable with Wes hanging on their son’s arm. I was so happy for them. Wes looked happier than he’d ever been back home.

This was going to be a grand dinner. Mr. Hamad sat on one end of the table with Mr. Zakar at his side. Emerson sat on the other side of his husband and across from Mrs. Zakar. Tareq sat next to Emerson with me at his side followed by Wes and Ishaq. Ishaq’s parents sat across from us and next to Mrs. Zakar. The rest of the family filled in the table.

I didn’t get much interaction with Tareq’s mother, but I noticed that whenever I looked at Mr. Zakar, his eyes seemed to find me as well. He kept offering a warm smile and eyes that seemed to ask if I was ok.

Mr. Hamad announced the intention of the dinner. It intended not only to bring the two families together, but also to celebrate the acceptance of the marriage contract. The wedding would be in two weeks.

“It will be the most beautiful ceremony our country has seen,” Mrs. Zakar began when Mr. Hamad handed things off to her. “I have my best designers on it. We’ve gotten press inquiries from as far away as Paris and Hong Kong. We will need a bigger press room, but the center can accommodate. This is going to be wonderful.”

I looked over at Tareq with wide eyes. This sounded like my nightmare.

“I do not want the stress on Dylan this will cause. This sounds like too much. He has already been through so much,” Tareq responded. He put his arm around me protectively.

“Relax! I thought of that. You two will be in a small room before the ceremony. You’ll be just a few steps from the stage, no big processional. You go out, do your thing, then go back in. You won’t even notice the crowd! They’ll have a screen in the room to show the rest of the ceremony. It will be very low stress,” Mrs. Zakar assured.

She looked at me and I could see in her eyes how much she wanted this. It would score major points to let her have her big day. It could also be dangerous to deny her this for her last child.

“Mother, we wanted something small,” Tareq started to argue. He was intent on showing me he could be the big protector I needed.

“It sounds very nice. I know it will be perfect just as you planned it. Thank you for planning everything and making it easy for us,” I interrupted.

I put my hand in Tareq’s and he squeezed it appreciatively. I was making peace. I was the good one in this competition.

“It will be very low-key for you. We will do the speeches and greetings. There will be very little of your participation. Think of it as a simple wedding inside a grand event.” She nodded like her head was about to fly off. I earned the most genuine smile she’d ever given me.

“If Dylan is happy, I am happy. He is my world.” Tareq gave her a nod of agreement.

“I promise it will be a happy day. The tailor is coming this week for a fitting. You will both look so handsome.” His mother looked more excited than we were about this.

“I’m sure it will be beautiful!” I told her.

“Is there anything you want from your culture? A priest or Christian things?” She asked.

“We weren’t Christian… my grandmother is half Navajo. I’ll ask her if there’s some ritual we should include. She’s big on that… I don’t think my family will come though. It’s too far for them.” I knew my grandparents would be scared to leave the country. They don’t even like going to Texas.

“I’ll investigate that. Not mixing Christian customs will help simplify the ceremony. I reached out to your family and they asked to watch it on livestream.” She was on top of it.

She went over more plans with Mr. Hamad and Emerson in Arabic. They seemed to agree with whatever she was proposing. Emerson lit up with delight that echoed Mrs. Zakar’s. I remembered he’d planned a ton of events since he coordinated charities.

“You are happy, my baby?” Tareq whispered to me. He put an arm around my back and leaned in to kiss my cheek.

“I’m happy. The baby is happy too. It feels like he’s dancing in there.” I put my hands on my stomach and rubbed.

He was too small to make much movement, but I felt kind of nauseous from it.

“We have prepared a traditional Satran Quail with Yanishquatl salad.” Emerson signed and Amir translated loudly when two workers arrived with trays of covered dishes.

Everyone but me and Wes made loud oohs of appreciation. This was going to be something rare and interesting. The workers set the covered dishes in front of everyone and then began to remove the trays.

“It looks amazing!” Mrs. Zakar glowed with a wide smile.

“This is a grand moment to bring our families together,” Mr. Zakar beamed.

“It is an excellent match,” Mr. Hamad agreed.

The workers made it to me and Tareq last, but when they lifted the silver cover off of the plate, the strange new smell hit my nose right as baby Ahmed was dancing in my stomach. I immediately felt a wave of nausea.

“Restroom!” I yelled and stood up. I used the sign for it Emerson had showed me and then clapped both hands over my mouth.

He immediately sprang into action and waved for me to come with him. I followed him and he guided me right down a side hallway. I flew through a doorway and bent down over the toilet to vomit. Emerson crouched beside me and rubbed my back.

“Baby love.” Tareq came in after us with Wes and closed the door. He squatted on the other side of me and rubbed my lower back while I emptied what little lunch I’d eaten earlier that day.

Emerson went to get a wet towel while I finished up. He came back and wiped my face while I signed a hundred apologies.

Emerson shook his head like it was perfectly normal. He smiled and leaned his head forward to touch his forehead to mine. He was so kind and caring towards me.

Ahmed was settling down inside me. His dance party was over. I could feel his buzzing though. He was ok.

“Can I do anything? I’m so sorry, Dylan.” Wes looked at me helplessly from the sink.

“No, thank you. Go back to Ishaq. I’m better now. Tell everyone to eat without me. I’ll be fine,” I assured.

“K, feel better.” Wes gave me one more look of pity then left.

“The doctor is coming. He says this is expected at this point in your pregnancy.” Mr. Hamad was right behind the door when Wes opened it. He’d come to check on us.

“Yes. It was in the book we got. I just haven’t felt the nausea go that far. I’m good now.” I told him.

“Still. You will be checked.” Mr Hamad came over and put his hand on my cheek to inspect me.

I got to my feet and Tareq helped me to the sink. Emerson got a paper cup and I rinsed my mouth out with water while the three men looked me over.

“Sorry I ruined your dinner. It looked great. I’m sure it’s amazing.” I looked at Mr. Hamad in the mirror while he signed for Emerson.

“It is nothing to be ashamed of. You are growing life inside you. Your body is adjusting.” Mr. Hamad told me.

One of the house staff brought me a toothbrush and some mouthwash to clean up.

We went down to his office to wait for Doctor Rammat. Mrs. Zakar came in with her husband to check on me. I thought she was just trying to play the caring mother to impress Emerson, but then I scolded myself for being so jaded about her. I was carrying her grandchild after all.

“I’m feeling better now, not hungry, but better.” I told them.

“When I was pregnant with Tareq, I threw up almost every day! He was my most problematic birth. Even after that he was a very unhappy and demanding baby. His siblings were all much easier,” she told me.

“Thank you, mother. Is a helpful story.” Tareq looked at her with annoyance.

“You grew into a very nice boy. I’m sure your baby will be strong and healthy.” She tried to recover.

Doctor Rammat came a few minutes later. He checked me over and assured Mr. Hamad that I was fine. He suggested some food I’d never heard of and Emerson nodded agreement.

Tareq said something to his parents in Arabic and then turned to me and said, “say goodnight to them, my heart. You are going to rest this evening.”

I got hugs and cheek-kisses from both of his parents.

“We will have you home soon. I promise you,” Mr. Zakar told me.

“We will have to plan more events with the two families! It is always lovely to spend time with the Hamad family,” Mrs. Zakar added. She was very happy to spend time with them. I wondered how she’d have felt if I’d been taken in by a family of lesser social standing.

Tareq walked me to the backhouse where a worker brought him his dinner and a bowl of the food Dr. Rammat had suggested for me. It was like a warm oatmeal with nuts and fruit I couldn’t identify. It was very delicious and made my stomach feel better.

We watched highlights from the soccer teams Tareq liked while the family finished their dinner in the main house.

“I’m glad your mom is warming up to me. She is so happy getting to plan the big wedding.” I snuggled into Tareq’s hold after finishing my dinner.

“She is very grateful to unite with the Hamad family. She is a good person, but I know she come from a family that struggle to survive and she work hard to gain her place here. The parents of her parents were from the area with much poverty. They work to better the life for her parents who do the same for her and so she do the same for me and my brothers and sister.” He kissed my head and rubbed my back.

“That makes sense. I guess my family is just the regular Tucson folks. You just kind of maintain the same like economic group or whatever you call it. There’s no pressure to do something big with your life unless you’re really good at sports or music or something.” I shrugged.

“Is because you have a history of your family have enough. My father, his family is from higher status. He does not push us much in our youth because my mother, she did the push. Always she push achievement and plan our steps. I can see with our baby Ahmed I will be the push. You will be the gentle caring,” he said.

“I can be tough when I need to be.” I said that and felt a little rumble inside me. “Oh my god. I think baby Ahmed just laughed!” I felt so in touch with him.

“He share your body. He know you are kind heart who will be easy on him. He will learn he has other father who is strong to guide him to the good.” Tareq rubbed his nose behind my ear and kissed my cheek.

The front door opened and the Hamads came in with Wes and Ishaq behind them.

They all looked me over like I’d had some major incident.

“I can come hang out with you some this week. We can find some fun stuff to do here. The views are crazy up here!” Wes sat down next to me on the couch once everyone had moved on from checking me.

Ishaq sat across from Tareq and they talked to give us privacy.

“Are you going to stay here? It seems like his family really likes you and you fit in with them.” I was happy for him. He deserved a guy who treated him so nicely.

“I don’t want to go home! Ishaq is so sweet and so hot. Plus, his family… they really like me and everything is so much simpler here. He says I can even register for classes and it’s free. My parents were like, ‘jump on that quick!’ All four years are free and they have programs in English too.” Wes rambled happily.

“I’m so happy for you. You guys are so sweet together.” I looked over at Tareq and he immediately turned to check on me.

“We will come hang out some,” Wes assured. “Mr. Hamad registered us with the front gate so we can get in easily.”

Tareq put his hand on my shoulder to tell me it was bedtime. We said goodnight to everyone. Things finally felt like they were getting back to normal.

36: Out of Shape

“You will look so perfect,” Azani assured me as he buttoned up a midnight blue dress shirt on me that shimmered in the blazing sunlight that filtered in through the sheer curtains.

“I feel like I’m getting bigger.” I looked at my profile in the mirror and could see baby Ahmed starting to push out my stomach.

“He is too small to show yet, and your tummy is flat as ever.” Tareq raised an eyebrow like he thought I was seeing things.

“You are twink perfection. You’re a designer’s dream!” Azani agreed. “It is too early in your pregnancy to worry about showing, and these tuxedos will cover even if he does spontaneously double in size. You are so easy to dress, little Dylan.”

“Are you sure?” I raised my arms as Azani helped me into the blazer.

Emerson and Mrs. Zakar had hired Azani to design our wedding attire. He’d come to the house with a huge rack of ideas. He was the number one men’s designer in the Middle East. 

“You will look wonderful,” Emerson signed. He had one of the house workers there to translate for him.

We tried on a few different tuxedos before settling on the midnight blue one for me and a light blue for Tareq. Yes, our wedding colors would be two shades of blue. That’s what I picked.

Emerson was trying to involve me in the decision making, but he actually made it not so overwhelming. He’d get me talking about something or watching something on TV and then out of nowhere he’d pull out a clipboard with some samples or pictures and ask me which one I’d prefer for the wedding.

The “choices” were always carefully curated options chosen by him and Mrs. Zakar so it was kind of a false choice, but I was glad he was trying to include me without stressing me out.

This morning, we were eating breakfast and talking about a Pixar movie where a family of forks escaped from an evil caterer when a house worker suddenly brought over four pictures of flower arrangements and asked which one I liked best. He was sneaky about it. He nodded with an approving smile when I picked the second picture.

“That one is my favorite too,” he signed.

Later, I discovered there was indeed a wrong choice. I was finishing the morning workout routine with him and Mr. Hamad in the gym we used in the main house. We were doing cool-down yoga when he pulled out a plastic page protector from underneath his yoga mat that had a set of fabric samples of the ceremonial cloth for the… ceremony (I don’t know what stuff is called over here). 

I picked the one with wide stripes in the dark blue and light blue, but I immediately saw the disappointment in his face.

“That is the one you want?” Mr. Hamad translated his husband’s mood as if his face was not abundantly clear.

“Oh no! I was picking the one I like the least. This one is tacky, very very tacky. Only a total psycho would choose this one,” I immediately corrected. That earned me a laugh from both of them.

“I guess my face betrayed me. It really is your choice,” Emerson signed with a smile that said he was sorry for making me feel bad for my selection.

“Dylan wants to make us happy,” Mr. Hamad said and signed before ruffling my hair.

“I want to make you happy, but I more want Mrs. Zakar to not think I’m a tacky gold-digger with bad taste. I really want her to have the day she dreams of and also be married to Tareq so we don’t have to worry about being separated again. It would really help if you could just pick whatever is going to please the crowd and make them compliment her so she doesn’t come back later and make me feel bad,” I confessed.

They both looked at me with mouths agape as if I’d told them I had cancer.

“Dylan, that is terrible. We cannot allow you to be under this kind of stress. It is not fair to you or your child.” Emerson shook his head and put a hand on my shoulder.

“It is unacceptable. We will give you and Tareq your own space here. There is a small apartment in the main house that has a large bedroom with a small room attached where we can make the nursery. You are very much wanted here just as you are. We will be happy to have a baby in the house again.” Mr. Hamad sat next to me on the yoga mat and put his arms around me.

“That means everything to me. Thank you, sir. I’ll talk to Tareq about it when he gets home from work.” I felt like their kid sitting there on the yoga mat between them. Mr. Hamad had his hand on my back and Emerson had both hands on my right shoulder.

“You should go and shower. It is time for your nap, and Tareq is bringing your new monitor in a few hours.” Mr. Hamad helped me to my feet and we headed back towards their house.

The new monitor, whom Emerson had personally chosen because he had some high level of training in natural medicine and diet, was coming tonight. The Hamads had set up a room for him in the main house that was just a short walk across the courtyard.

+++–+++

Tareq came at 6. I was working on dinner with Emerson while Mr. Hamad worked on his laptop at the dining table. Kasper and Amir were back in their bedroom, but came out to meet the new monitor with us.

“Dylan, you will meet Sai.” Tareq moved out of the doorway to reveal a man about my height and maybe just a few years older than me.

Sai was gorgeous. He had lightly bronzed skin, deep blue eyes, and dark hair pulled back in a short pony-tail. He was dressed in that carefree earthy look that showed his toned, twinkish perfection. 

He spread his full pink lips into a smile that showed perfect teeth and a warm character. I immediately hated him. Maybe it was the pregnancy, but all I could think about was him being in a car alone with Tareq.

“Hello, Dylan! It is so good to finally meet you,” Sai moved towards me with open arms.

I was ready to push him back through the doorway and lock it, but instead I remembered my manners and gave him a hug. He smelled like a flower plucked from an enchanted forest. I felt a surge of jealousy. He let go of me and I immediately went to Tareq who pulled me in against his chest as if to reassure me that Sai was not what he wanted. I was being super dramatic on the inside, but I tried to keep my cool.

“Nice to meet you.” I gave him a slight nod of the head and turned back towards Tareq.

Sai went through greetings with the Hamads while I looked up at Tareq and shook my head.

“He’s way too hot,” I whispered to Tareq.

“What? You have desire for him?” Tareq raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“No, but you will. I thought we were supposed to have a female one this time?” I asked. I remembered Dr. Rammat saying “she” when referring to the new monitor.

“We did, Emerson pick this one. I have no desire for this boy. You carry my child and my heart. If he worry to you, then we can change him. Is Emerson who choose him. I swear I do not pick this boy! I will never pick a boy who make my heart feel anxious!” Tareq looked alarmed that someone new would upset me. 

I realized I was being ridiculous.

“No. You’re right. If Emerson wanted him, we should stick with it. I think the pregnancy is just making me extra sensitive.” I nodded and kissed Tareq’s cheek.

“Dinner is almost ready. We will all eat together,” Mr. Hamad interrupted us. Sai was across the room talking with Amir and Kasper.

We ate together at the dining table. It was a bit tight with 7 people, but it was good. Sai told everyone about his latest assignment, staying for 6 weeks with a couple in India. He’d went for a two week retreat in Tibet afterwards before heading here.

“Where are you from originally?” I asked since his accent wasn’t too far off from mine.

“I was born in the UK, but my father is from New Mexico so I mostly grew up there before college in Northern California. I met up with this group when I started nursing school, and they offered to pay for my education if I committed to working with the clinic to monitor pregnancies. It’s been amazing! I’ve been able to learn so much about natural medicine which is funny since there’s very little natural about the pregnancies we conduct.” Sai seemed professional. Maybe I’d misjudged him.

“Sai has been trained in Tibetan pregnancy yoga and the Serrania Methods! I can’t wait to get started tomorrow. He is going to make things very easy,” Emerson signed excitedly.

He seemed very confident in Sai’s abilities. I decided to give him a chance.

“That sounds really good. I’m up for whatever you want me to do,” I told them.

“We will warm up to it. I need to evaluate you tomorrow. You should finish your meal. It’s important we work on your strength and weight targets. You need to bulk up!” Sai looked down at my plate.

“I will. I just eat slowly…. but I do eat.” I pushed the salad around my plate and took another bite of lamb.

“My Dylan needs you to be very observant with these things. He forget to eat. He is very tiny boy,” Tareq explained.

“Of course. I have read his complete file. Reyk is an excellent note-taker. I’ve taken over from him before. We trained together. He was very clear in Dylan’s needs, but it has been two weeks since he’s been without a monitor. That is very concerning.” Sai looked at Tareq with concern.

“Yes, it was a very intense time for us. I will make sure the rest of his pregnancy is calmer.” Tareq looked ashamed.

“I will as well. Reyk should have stayed with him. Our only job is to care for the expectant father. No matter the situation, his care and health should always come first.” Sai put his hand on my shoulder in support.

“Thank you. I am most grateful we found you. I know he is in good care.” Tareq turned to me and pushed my plate to indicate I should eat.

+++__+++

Sai was at our bedroom door early the next morning while Tareq got ready for work. Tareq usually let me sleep in and only woke me to kiss me goodbye when he left, but Sai had said we needed to get on a better schedule.

“Dylan, you’re awake? We should get in a light workout before breakfast.” Sai came in as Tareq went to brush his teeth.

“Oh, um yeah.” I raised up from the bed and stretched with a yawn.

“Ten minutes! Put on some workout clothes and meet us in the kitchen. It’s cold this early so dress warm. I’ll make you a morning juice.” Sai was all smiles and eager for the workout. I didn’t think people who woke up like that actually existed.

I got out of bed and looked at the clothes Sai had hurriedly grabbed from the drawers before leaving; some workout tights, shorts, a tank top, and sweatshirt. I quickly dressed and went to wash my face while Tareq got dressed.

“Morning juice! This has everything you’ll need for a good start to the day.” Sai held out a plastic bottle and showed a big smile. He was eager to get going. Emerson was behind him sipping his own bottle and nodding in approval of the drink.

Tareq came from the bedroom with his work bag and nice suit. He stopped to kiss me and greet the men. Sai started signing with Emerson. Of course he was fluent in sign language! Everything about him yelled perfection.

“You will have an amazing day, my love. Yes?” Tareq kissed me again and nodded his head like this was a command.

I assured him that I would and we followed Sai and Emerson outside. Tareq went towards the house and we went towards a cleared area surrounded by towering shade trees. Sai had a big pack with yoga mats and he laid them out for us while Emerson and I sipped our juices.

Sai led us through some stretches as the morning sun began to rise in the east. He paused to explain what we were doing and how it would help. I wondered if baby Ahmed was doing his own stretches inside me, he was probably still asleep.

I kept up with them at first, but then they both kept jumping over to my mat to position me better. They were trying to be helpful, but I felt like I’d stumbled into an advanced class. They started to get into positions I couldn’t keep up with so I finally asked for a break.

“I’m going to sit this one out if that’s cool. You guys go ahead,” I told them when Sai had his legs in an impossible position that Emerson easily mirrored.

“This whole thing is for you,” Sai laughed.

“I just need a minute.” I sat cross-legged on the mat and reached for my juice.

“Dylan, we’ll help you with whatever you need, but you have to try.” He came over and knelt in front of me.

“I did try, but this is new and I’m not used to being all bendy like that,” I insisted.

“Today we start slow,” Emerson jumped in. Sai translated for him.

“Ok, but we have to push a little every day to get you where you need to be.” Sai looked disappointed.

The rest of the day went on like that. I couldn’t lift the weights he chose for me, I threw up the super healthy lunch he prepared, and I fell asleep during the meditation prayers he led us through. I needed major work. I was not going to make it on his wall of fame.

“I’m going to go lie down for awhile until we start dinner,” I said when I was over it.

“Oh! I have a few more stretches I want you to try. I promise it will get you the best sleep of your life!” Sai countered.

“I’m kinda done. Thanks, though.” I shrugged.

“But they’re toning stretches. Don’t you want to get nice and toned up for Tareq? You’re gorgeous, of course, but you could tighten things up a little. It’ll really help. You just need a little work.” Sai was not letting go.

“I’m done.” I shook my head.

I looked over at Emerson who was watching this like a train wreck.

“But it’s…” Sai started, but Emerson put a hand on Sai’s chest and shook his head.

I walked off. I felt like a pregnant lump of failure.

Chapter 37: Carrefour

“You want that I fire him for trying to make you healthy?” Tareq asked.

He’d come home and was filled in on my walk-out by Sai and Emerson. He came to find me in the bedroom hiding under the blankets napping with squishy cactus. He sat on the bed and uncovered me.

“No. I couldn’t keep up and I got frustrated and then his comment about me looking better for you. Like out of all this craziness, I’m also supposed to think about improving my body so I’ll appeal to you…” I shook my head.

“Oh? Oh! No, my precious heart. You are prettiest boy ever, but so much more than this to me. You are my chosen mate and I marry you soon. Sai will choose better words and he will go easier. He hold good intentions for you. He is doing his job, but you may say enough when you grow tired. I will not have more stress for you.” He kissed me and then stood up to change out of his work clothes.

The rest of the week was easier. Sai slowed things down, and Emerson helped me instead of following along beside me. I started to learn more and do more. Wes even came two different days to join in with us.

+++–+++

“Let’s go somewhere, just us. I’m kind of over people. Oh! Do they have Target here? We should go look at baby stuff,” I told Tareq on Friday morning (the start of the weekend in this part of the world). We were snuggled into the bed as the sun began to peek through the curtains.

“We have Carrefour. Is similar. We can look for baby things, though we have not decide where we set up the nursery.” Tareq yawned and pulled me in against his chest.

“Would your mom hate me if I wanted to stay here? The Hamads offered us our own place in the main house with a little room for the baby.” I kissed his chest while he rubbed my bottom.

“Is a great honor to have this offer. They truly wish to protect you as their own. You worry so much for offend my mother. She does not worry for offend you, my heart. I wish to return home. It will make life easier and our boy should be with his family. We can decide later though. Is not for now.” Tareq kissed my forehead and hugged me against him.

We had breakfast with the family and told them we wanted to go see this Target-like place. I was intrigued to see how it compared. It was Sai’s day off and he’d left early that morning for a hike with a guy he was chasing.

“I haven’t been in a store like that since my boys were young. We should go too!” Emerson looked delighted at the idea.

“Yeah! I saw they are carrying the new Le Gold skincare line! We should definitely go!” Kasper was into it as well.

“I have the day off. Yes. We will all go to see the hypermarket! They are from France!” Mr. Hamad decided.

So my alone time trip with Tareq turned into a large group outing… to Carrefour.

We piled into an oversized SUV that was more like a small luxury camper van. Mr. Hamad drove us down into the city and out to the suburbs where Tareq had taken me to the USA themed restaurant.

“Where is the valet?” Mr. Hamad asked as we pulled into the parking area.

“They don’t have valet at this kind of…” I started to say.

“Here it is!” Mr. Hamad called as he rounded an aisle. He pulled up to a store employee collecting carts.

He rolled down the window and said something in Arabic to the employee. The guy shrugged and pointed to an empty parking spot just a few feet away.

“They should really post a sign if they don’t have a valet. It’s very confusing,” Mr. Hamad grumbled as he pulled into the open spot.

“He thought there was valet.” I mouthed to Tareq in disbelief.

Tareq shook his head like I shouldn’t laugh.

We got out and walked to the entrance. Two teenage girls cleaning the carts near the entrance eyed us with suspicious fascination.

“We will take one cart please,” Mr. Hamad told them.

Girl 1 raised an eyebrow while girl 2 slid out a cart for us. Mr. Hamad thanked her and pushed our cart towards the sliding doors.

“I thought he was going to tip her,” I whispered to Tareq with a chuckle.

“Baby items. We will find those,” Tareq reminded me of our mission. He wasn’t amused by the situation like I was.

Emerson sent us a group text so we could let everyone know when we’d finished. With that, we split up into couples.

“Why are the signs in English? It’s a French store in an Arabic country.” I pointed towards a big sign advertising their member’s club savings.

“Because English speakers are the loudest when they can not find what they seek. Most other language groups just ask for help.” Tareq shrugged.

“Weird! Ooh they have Halloween Candy!! Is it already October?” I’d totally lost track of time here other then my baby growth.

“Is October in this aisle, December in the next one!” Tareq pointed. He was full of jokes today.

“Jerry Beans! I love these. They’re cherry jelly beans, but the commercial has this cartoon beaver who only talks out of one side of his mouth so cherry sounds like Jerry!” I pounced on the package.

I did a little impersonation of the beaver’s hi pitched voice, “I lubz Jerrrrrry!”

“That’s frightening!” Tareq laughed.

“It’s not frightening. It’s a beaver. He’s cute but just can’t use half his mouth!” I defended. I tapped on the beaver on the package.

“What causes the broken half of his mouth?” Tareq questioned.

“I think the cherry’s tartness. Like it’s too sour for a beaver… at least that’s what I always thought. I hope he didn’t have a stroke or anything… poor beaver. We have to buy these!” I said.

“Sai will throw them into the trash. It is all sugar,” Tareq replied.

“They’re really good! Plus it’s for a good cause. I think part of the proceeds go to the beaver’s goFundMe to fix his mouth.” I really wanted them.

“Fine. I smuggle them into the house. On to baby items.” Tareq nudged me. He found a basket and put the candy in it before we walked to the baby stuff.

“There’s so much stuff!” I swept my arms in the air. They had a whole section for baby stuff in this alcove near the shoe department. There was soft lullaby music playing and a giant stuffed camel in the center.

“My mother has a baby room designer who will plan for this and get the things we need,” Tareq assured.

“No! No designers. This is our baby. I want stuff we chose; not some fancy, impersonal stuff.” I shook my head.

“What if we forget something? We need a checklist for these things. I do not want that you are without. Is best to get professional to fill our nursery, but first you may buy what you wish. Good?” Tareq put his arm around me while I started looking at baby clothes.

“Oh! This one is so cute.” I held up a cactus print onesie.

“Yes! Put in basket please.” He held up the small plastic basket.

“Look at this pacifier! It has a little stuffed bear attached! SO cute!” I grabbed a blue one and tossed it in the basket. “A tiny hairbrush! I can’t wait to brush his hair.”

“We need it, grab it all. My boy want, my boy get.” Tareq shared my excitement.

“Baby crocs! They are soooo cute. Baby Ahmed needs crocs!” I grabbed a pair of army green crocs in the tiny size then grabbed a baby velour track suit in matching green.

“Our boy will be on the move!” Tareq beamed.

We picked out a few more things before Mr. Hamad and Emerson came to find us.

“This is sugar. All sugar. Not good for the baby,” Emerson frowned as he pointed to the Jerry Beans in our basket.

“Dylan need a treat. Is from his childhood. He will not eat much and we will not tell Sai,” Tareq countered.

“I lubz Jerry Beans,” I whispered a sad impression of the beaver.

Emerson looked at me for a minute and then nodded understanding.

“I like the clothes you picked. We have much to buy,” Emerson changed the topic.

“I know. We need to figure out what all we need,” I told him.

“We did not keep the baby things from our twins, but Lincoln may still have things from his boys,” Mr. Hamad offered.

“Oh that would be great! Anything you can think of. I just want to get what we need without having to have some professional consultant designer extraordinaire,” I joked.

“You two should get the things you want. It is your baby,” Emerson agreed.

Mr. Hamad and Emerson helped us look through the baby things and pointed out things they found extra useful. We started to load up their cart, which was nearly empty. Apparently, they weren’t quite as impressed with Carrefour’s offerings.

“Our house staff does the shopping, Emerson makes a list of things he wants for the meals we make and they deliver them. We prefer more organic and local things,” Mr. Hamad explained.

“I like this store, it’s not quite Target, but like a Walmart that tries hard.” I told them as we headed for the checkout.

“They would be better with a valet, and maybe a clerk to do the checkout for us. It’s a good concept though. We will have to find a target next if it is better.” Mr. Hamad appraised.

Kasper and Amir showed up with a basket loaded with the skincare line Kasper wanted.

“It’s so cheap here!” Kasper exclaimed. “You have to try this lotion. It smells incredible.”

He opened the jar and put it right up next to my nose. I took one inhale and then felt my stomach start to rock.

“Oh no.” I shook my head as Tareq was unloading the cart onto the checkout conveyor. I pushed past him and ran towards the restrooms feeling my breakfast rising in my throat.

“So sorry!” Kasper yelled as I dashed away.

Emerson came behind me and helped me to the restroom where I threw up into a garbage can.

“I am so sorry, Dylan!” Kasper came in while Emerson was helping me clean my face.

“It’s ok. It doesn’t take much to upset things.” I told him.

“I guess I’ll find out soon. We’re going to start next week with the pills. I can’t wait,” Kasper said and signed.

“That’s so exciting! They can be cousins! I won’t let baby Ahmed push yours around.” I nodded my head solemnly.

“I won’t let baby Amir push yours around either!” Kasper said this as if returning a threat, but then he laughed.

“You’re going to name him Amir! Your baby is going to be so cute,” I cooed. Something about being pregnant turned me into someone who gushed over babies. I’d never been like that before.

“My love. You are better?” Tareq came in to check on me. “We paid for the purchases. I will help you to the car.”

“Yeah. All good.” I went to his side and he took my hand to walk me to the car.

We made it home before Sai came back from his hiking date. Emerson helped me put away the baby things in a basket for the closet until we figured out where to set up the nursery. Tareq hid the candy in our bedroom, promising to ration me a few each day.

Emerson made me a bowl of the oatmeal stuff that helped settle my stomach and then I laid down for a nap while Tareq worked on some emails and presentations next to me in bed.

+++–+++

“My parents wish for us to visit them this evening. They have surprise for you,” Tareq said when he woke me up.

He showed me his phone with some text messages in Arabic as if I could read that.

“What is the surprise?” I asked.

“I don’t know, my heart. Are you ok to go there? I tell them you do not feel well?” He put a hand on my cheek and leaned down to kiss me.

“No, yeah. We can go. It’s ok with Mr. Hamad?” I was still unclear about the rules of me leaving the house. I hadn’t been back to the Zakar estate since I was taken away by the investigators. It had been nearly a month.

“I will arrange with him. He should be ok for this.” Tareq put his laptop away and snuggled under the covers with me.

We napped for a few more minutes before he went off to talk to Mr. Hamad while I got dressed.

I went out to the living room to find everyone gathered. Emerson and Kasper were starting dinner while Mr. Hamad was playing a video game with Amir and Tareq. It was one of those race car games and Tareq was in the lead.

“You are having dinner with the Zakars tonight?” Emerson asked and Kasper translated.

“I think so. We’re going for some surprise. I’m still full from the oat stuff. I’m starting to really like it,” I joked. It always calmed my stomach.

“If you want us to go with you, we can. I don’t want her hurting your feelings,” Emerson signed.

“I’ll be ok. I think she really wants to impress you guys so she will want me to come back here happy and praising her.” I laughed.

“Ok.” Emerson put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it like he wasn’t sure this was a good idea. “Just text me if there’s a problem.”

I assured him I would. Mr. Hamad gave us another little speech before we left about Tareq standing up for me and not letting his parents upset me and going straight there and then straight home without any detours. He expected us back before ten pm or this would be the last free outing. I felt like I was their teenage daughter heading off to prom.

I got lots of hugs and Emerson made me put on a jacket for the night chill. 

Tareq promised to be the protective warrior their little prince needed and we were off to visit his parents.

Chapter 38: Disappointing Dylan

“Do I look ok? Should I have worn something nicer? Is this outfit trash?” I second-guessed myself as Tareq parked his car in front of the Zakar estate. I had khaki joggers and a blue, short-sleeved, Hawaiian print shirt.

“You are beautiful. You look very respectable and have no need to worry,” Tareq pulled me in for a kiss before getting out and coming to open my door.

He wore pressed khakis with a tucked-in button-up shirt that showed off his impressive biceps and pecs. He looked so hot. After all the weird things he put me through, he still made me drool.

“What is this surprise about? I hate surprises. I feel like I’m in trouble or something.” I fidgeted as we walked to the front door and he fished for his keys.

“Trouble for what? You have the paranoids. I assume by surprise they mean good surprise. I do not think they will invite us over to surprise us with a beating or punishment. My parents are not the monsters you believe,” Tareq chuckled. He held my hand as we walked to the front door.

“Dylan, my boy!” Mr. Zakar opened the door as Tareq was about to put the key in.

He pulled me in for a hug that lifted me off of my feet. I relaxed into his hold and felt the anxiety leave me. This was going to be a nice surprise. These were decent people who wanted me there.

Mrs. Zakar hugged her son and then kissed both of my cheeks as they ushered us inside the home.

It was unusually quiet and the normally palatial surroundings had a haunted cavern vibe. There was a quiet sadness about this place that I never felt before moving in with the Hamads.

“You are hungry? We have dinner almost ready. I had them make simple food that will be easy for your stomach. No surprise smells or spices.” Mrs. Zakar walked us through the foyer and into the first living room.

“Dylan has not had dinner. We have time to eat,” Tareq told them. He hadn’t had dinner either so I wondered why he framed that in terms of my needs.

“Excellent. We will eat and then show you the surprise.” Mr. Zakar beamed. His tone held an unsettled urgency.

“Thank you, sir,” I responded politely. 

Tareq took my hand and held it while talking to his parents in Arabic. When I wasn’t the topic, I wasn’t included. But I’m sure that using a foreign language just for my benefit was probably taxing and unnatural.

We moved to the dining room where four places were set at the oversized table. We took up one end of it.

“Where are the others?” I asked, sweeping my hand across the vast array of empty chairs. I hadn’t seen them since I was taken away.

“There is an art show with Luca’s work. We will see it tomorrow, but we wanted to spend some time with you tonight. Please, sit.” Mr. Zakar pointed to the two places on the right.

Luca was Tareq’s brother-in-law and would soon be mine as well. He was partnered with Tareq’s oldest brother.

We settled into a dinner of roasted chicken and potatoes. Everything was very simple and mild with few spices. It was actually pretty good, even if somewhat bland. Baby Ahmed didn’t like surprises showing up down there. I managed to finish the reasonable portion they served me.

“He like it. Is good to see he finish a meal without my prodding. Thank you, mother,” Tareq noted.

“Wonderful!” His mother beamed proudly at us as if she’d cooked it and not the kitchen staff.

“It was very good. Thank you!” I wiped imaginary sauce from my lips with the napkin. It just felt like the right way to end a formal meal.

“We will make sure the kitchen staff makes special meals for you when you are able to return. I don’t want you getting sick every time we sit down to eat. We are mindful of your needs.” Mr. Zakar reached over and patted my arm.

“Oh… yes. Thank you.” I guess they thought we were moving back here after the wedding. We hadn’t really had time for a sit down conversation with them.

“It is no trouble, dear. So. Shall we go and see the surprise?” Mrs. Zakar looked at her husband with a smile that said something was going on. Her happiness made me think I was either getting a plane ticket home or a beating from a gang of angry youths she’d hired.

“Yes! Please follow us.” Mr. Zakar got to his feet. He held the same sly smile as his wife.

Tareq stood and offered me his hand. I took it and followed him out of the dining room. Mr. Zakar led us across the courtyard back to where Tareq’s back house was. I felt my heart start to race when we saw it. I hadn’t been there in what felt like forever.

Tareq immediately started to ramble in Arabic, but it took me a minute in the dim lighting to see what he was buzzing about.

“Your house?” I pointed to a wooden frame rising on the side of it. They were expanding his little home.

“Surprise! The construction crew started last week on it. It will be ready when the baby arrives!” Mr. Zakar could barely contain his excitement. He clapped his hands together like he’d just scored a hole-in-one at the country club seniors match.

“My house!” Tareq boomed. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or delighted. He was definitely shocked.

“We are adding a nursery to one side and enclosing the master bedroom. It will be perfect for the baby!” Mrs. Zakar explained.

“Oh… woah,” I was speechless. It hit me that they fully expected us to be here when the baby came.

“You will have your privacy and room for your child. They’re putting in big windows here so you can watch the crashing waves while you feed your little one. It will be so nice!” Mr. Zakar pointed to big openings in the wood frame that looked towards the beach.

“It will be peaceful for him and for you. They will add shades that come down with the touch of a remote so it will be dark for his sleep or your privacy,” Mrs. Zakar added.

“Oh… wow. That’s… wow,” I was fumbling for words that just weren’t there. It was a beautiful gesture and told me they truly did want me here, but I panicked at the thought of leaving Mr. Hamad’s house. They hadn’t even asked if I’d want to live here.

Tareq said some things in Arabic.

“You haven’t decided where you want to live? Are you thinking of returning to Arizona? But we can give your child a life of privilege and safety here. You will never worry for necessities or safety.” Mr. Zakar turned to look at me.

“No, yeah. It’s beautiful. Really, thank you for thinking of us. It’s amazing, sir.” I caught the look of disappointment in his eyes. It sent a pang of guilt through me. I felt like a total a-hole.

“We haven’t decided anything yet, father. I wish you would have asked before doing this.” Tareq pulled me into his chest protectively. He was ready to stand up to his family for me.

“You can’t stay with the Hamads. We are your family. The child should be raised with his family. They have two young boys already and will soon have grandchildren of their own. For our family, you boys will be the last and have all of the affection,” Mrs. Zakar raised her tone from disappointment to anger. The Zakars already had grandchildren, but the youngest would be older than our baby Ahmed.

“Nothing has been decided. We are looking at the options. That is all. No one is rejecting anywhere yet.” Tareq held me while I looked down at my shoes.

I couldn’t raise my eyes to meet theirs. I felt so guilty, like I’d rejected them. They could tell I wasn’t excited about being here. Worse, I was taking their son and grandson away with me.

Mr. Zakar said something in Arabic and his wife responded, then Tareq said something and then all three started talking at the same time. I was glad to not be able to understand it.

“Ok. We will leave it for tonight. You can take time and think. That is fair,” Mr. Zakar said after an intense few minutes of this exchange.

“Thank you, father. I need to get Dylan back before 9. We should go.” Tareq rubbed my shoulder while I stared at my shoes.

“Thank you so much for dinner. I hope we can do this more often now.” It was the only thing I could think to say.

“Or course, my dear. You are always welcome here.” Mrs. Zakar hugged me.

“We are so happy to welcome you to our family. You are loved here,” Mr. Zakar said as he brought me in for a hug.

Something about the sadness in his tone broke me and I started crying.

“No, don’t cry. What’s wrong, sweet boy?” He hugged me tighter and I sobbed into his shoulder.

“It’s fine. We should live here. You made a room for the baby and everything. No one’s ever built a room for me. It’s so nice,” I started to blubber on.

“Dylan! No, he does not mean this. He is easily guilted. He can not bear to hurt your feelings. He loves you both, but we have not yet decide this. We decide together,” Tareq said. He pulled me back from his father and pulled me into his chest.

“No, really. It’s ok. This is home,” I sniffed back the tears and nodded.

“Perfect! We are excited to have you here,” Mrs. Zakar gushed.

“No, sweet boy. You boys will take your time and think. It is fine. Do not worry for us. We did not intend to guilt you. We should have asked first.” Mr. Zakar gave me a genuine smile that told me he meant it.

“Thank you for the lovely evening. We must go now before we miss the time.” Tareq hugged his parents again before ushering me out to his car.

“I feel awful. I’m such a dick, dude. You saw how hurt they were.” I shook my head when Tareq got into the car beside me.

“Is ok, my heart. You will take time and decide. Is wrong they alter my home with not consult first.” Tareq held my hand as he drove us home.

We got back to the Hamads and they immediately knew something was up.

“He was crying? What happened, my little one?” Mr. Hamad looked alarmed as we came in the door.

They were all in the living room watching a movie. He paused it and came over to investigate. The screen was stuck on the image of a hot action star just about to take a bite of watermelon. It looked really funny and I let out one weird little laugh.

“Is not what you think. They do not offend him,” Tareq defended.

I filled them in on what happened. They all got free tickets to the drama coaster.

“No way! They already started building? We will build twice as big! They play dirty,” Mr. Hamad fumed.

“No, please! No construction. I’m only having one baby,” I laughed.

“My boy is easy to feel guilt. He gave in right away, but I tell them we have not decide yet. Dylan is sad for hurt their feelings,” Tareq explained.

“I hate hurting people’s feelings. It’s the worst. You should have seen the disappointment in their eyes. Like I just peed on their rug or something.” I shook my head.

Mr. Hamad had us all sit down at the table to talk it over. Emerson was shocked that they would do that without asking us first, but Mr. Hamad said it was very reasonable for them to assume we would return to their home, especially given that my natural family lived on the other side of the world and my parents had passed away.

“It doesn’t matter. We are his family now. We protect him here. Dylan is happy here. That is what matters most,” Emerson signed furiously.

“True, but he was placed with us due to a government investigation that has now fizzled to nothing. Of course it is Tareq and Dylan’s decision, and the last thing they need is added pressure from us. Dylan will be protected and live wherever he chooses to live,” Mr. Hamad responded.

The front door opened and Sai sauntered in happily until he saw the looks on our faces.

“Oh! I just wanted to check-in on Dylan before I go to bed. Is everything all right? He should be in bed soon. We have Asuani Yoga at 8!” Sai looked at me with concern.

He looked a little red from his hike and whatever other fun he’d had with his date. I really wanted to see what the guy looked like, but Sai didn’t like to talk about non-pregnancy or non-wellness stuff.

“I’m good. I had dinner… feeling fine. No vomit! How was your date?” I asked, hoping to change the topic.

“Oh… um I really don’t discuss personal stuff with clients… no offense, yeah? If you need me, text me. I’m pretty tired. G’night everyone!” Sai backed away with a friendly wave and a half yawn.

“Dylan is well and will be put to bed soon. Have a good evening, Sai.” Tareq waved him off.

We said our goodnights and headed to get ready for bed.

“Thank you,” I told him when we finished brushing our teeth. “I know you want to be back with your parents, but you totally stood up for us back there. Do you think they are upset with me?”

“They have no reason to be. I tell them we will decide. I will discuss with them when we decide. Do not worry for this. What you want, I make happen, ok? I am your protector. I will take the unpleasant thing.” He pulled me into his chest and kissed me.

Chapter 39: The Milk

“Dylan [Deee-lahn].” Tareq shook me gently. “You are shaking… Dylan?”

“The what?” I answered sleepily. I was sleeping on his bare chest. The room was dark except for a few strands of moonlight peeking through the curtains.

It must have been late because the house was quiet and the bed was super warm.

“You shake like is too cold. You feel wet. You feel sickness, my love?” He started to sit up and ease me off his chest.

The cold air hit me like a shock as he raised me from his warm cocoon.

“Oh, shivering. You mean shivering… I’m wet?” I sat up and he pointed to my chest.

“Oh! Is your milk. Look. Is here.” Tareq slid up my shirt to show my nipples were hard and wet with a cold, sticky substance.

“Oh, no! Yuck. It’s too early. We’re getting married this week. I can’t be making milk already,” I panicked. I felt like a gross monster that had crawled into his bed.

“The doctor warns us yesterday. He say is normal and we expect this. Is not yuck. Is your beautiful body making our child,” Tareq reminded me. He tried his best to celebrate every weird development.

“He said maybe in a week or two,” I sighed. I wasn’t ready for this. My pecs had filled in and my bíceps were getting a good tone. I was morphing into someone I didn’t recognize, and now this.

The day before, we’d gone to the 10-week check-up with Sai and Dr. Rammat. The Hamads stayed away so we could spend it with Tareq’s parents and make a special day of it.

Everything had gone well with the check-up. I was gaining muscle and baby Ahmed was now the size of a plum. When Dr. Rammat pulled up the scan, we caught baby Ahmed moving his right arm as if waving at us. He tried to get a video of little Ahmed waving, but it was so quick and he wouldn’t do it on command.

“I check your nipples.” Tareq reached for the hem of my t-shirt and slid it up. I raised my arms for him to take it off.

“Cold.” I started to shiver again as the air conditioning hit my damp chest.

Tareq used my shirt to wipe my chest gently. He kissed my cheek and tried to make me feel like this was normal. He went towards the bedside table and pulled out a large towel. 

“Lie down. I fix this.” he got up on his knees and helped me up. He laid out the towel and then guided me to lie in the warm spot he’d left on the mattress. He pulled the covers up to my stomach and then leaned over me to bring his warmth.

“My pecs feel heavy,” I noted. 

“Your muscles get bigger. You go from twink to twunk. It look so nice,” he joked.

“The workouts have been intense, but I feel good. It’s kinda cool, but my nipples definitely hurt. I don’t think they were built for this.” I put his hand on my right pec. He rubbed it gently and looked at me with sadness. He always wanted to take away my problems.

“They are full. We see the technique in the video. You must express the milk from them or they will not feel better. Is ok I squeeze and suck them? You will not sleep if you are leaking,” he reasoned.

“Uhhh huh,” I whined when he started to squeeze my nipples. It relieved some of the pressure, but also let out a few drops of the milk. “Yes, please.”

“Your pecs are swollen with the milk. I will relieve you so we can sleep.” He gave another gentle squeeze and it started to dribble out.

The baby book encouraged us to use this as a bonding process. It was supposed to be pleasing for the mate and help to bond him to the pregnant partner. It seemed kind of weird, but Tareq was into it. I just hoped it didn’t taste weird.

“Sure… I… I guess we should.” I shrugged.

Tareq helped me sit up. He turned on a small lamp by the bedside. He put the pillows behind me so I could lay back against the headboard. He kissed my neck and then worked his lips down my chest. He rubbed a finger over my right nipple and then kissed it.

“We do not waste this. The book say I am ok to drink,” he noted.

“Oh. Uh huh,” I let out a gasp as his lips started to suck my nipple.

He flicked his tongue across it, lapping up the little drops that started to flow. He dove in and started to suck. I felt the pressure release inside me as he emptied the reserve. It wasn’t a lot, but it came out in a tiny spray when he started to suck.

“This turn you on, no? Is very hot to me. My perfect boy always please me.” He asked when he pulled away. He smiled with that confidence that he could make my body feel amazing things. He knew what he did to me.

“No! I mean… only cuz it’s you… I’m not like… into this like a fetish or anything. It feels good, but…” I felt a warm blush spread over my cheeks.

I was rock hard. He closed his eyes and sucked with this peaceful smile. Watching this warrior of a man with his head on my chest nursing from me was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.

“We can use the pump if you wish? This is too weird to you? Dr. Rammat include a pump in gift bag. It work the same as my lips.” Tareq pulled away from me, but he had this sly smile on his lips that said it was an idle threat. He licked his lips, looking like he wanted more.

“No, just… if you’re ok with it, this is probably the way to go. The book said we should do this regularly once it starts. It’s supposed to help us bond, and maybe it’ll be good practice for when our baby will need it.” I reached for him. 

I put my hand on the back of his head and pulled him back to me. He let me bring him in.

“We follow the book, but I am very much bond to you. You are my boy. I do not need more from you.” he noted with this nonchalant air like he could take it or leave it… drink it or pump it.

“Please… Tareq. I want you to suck it.” I offered my best innocent eyes and he smiled back at me. He loved hearing me ask for his help. 

He leaned into my left nipple and started to suck it. He put his hands on my pecs and squeezed them gently, using his thumb to push at my muscles and massage it out. It released a pressure I didn’t realize I was holding onto.

“Fuhhhh. That feels so wow,” I gasped. 

My mouth fell open as he started to alternate between my nipples; using his teeth, lips, and tongue to get his drink. His lips latched on and made my sensitive nipples start to tingle. I closed my eyes as a wave of pleasure hit me. It made me flash back to those vampire movies like I was feeding a Cullen.

“Mmm.” He swallowed with a satisfied noise. 

I put a hand on the back of his head, pushed my fingers through his hair, and gently rubbed him as he nursed on me. It was one of the few times I felt powerful over him. He was always so alpha, in the most honorable sense of the word. But he sucked with such an urgency like this was something he truly needed, almost like how I felt when begging for him to fuck me.

I know it was a seriously weird situation that I’m sure most people would be completely grossed out by… but you really had to be there to feel what I felt. 

The gentle sounds of suck, swallow, suck, breath through his nose, a happy little whimper, suck, swallow, suck; it was the hottest thing I’d ever done. I felt like I was giving him the pleasure he normally gave to me. I offered something he craved. 

He slurped up every drop and then licked around his lips like he’d just finished a melting ice cream cone. He nodded with this wide grin and then let out a little burp that he quickly covered with his hand. It was intensely cute in a way we’d never share with anyone else.

“Is very delicious. My boy is finest quality. You make me so hard. Look what you do to me. No one ever put me this hard. I need you.” Tareq said when he finished.

He raised up and I saw the outline of his thick cock stretching the black boxer briefs. He reached down and gave it a squeeze. A big spot of pre-cum covered the front of the fabric. He looked at me with pure desire.

“That felt incredible. I think you got it all. It feels empty. What did it taste like?” I asked. I rubbed my pecs and they felt almost normal, not as swollen.

“Is warm and creamy… is not sweet, but very good.” He wiped the side of his mouth with the back of his hand and then added, “five stars.”

“You can’t give it a rating. That’s not fair. I have no idea how to make it better,” I laughed.

“You ask how it is. I give you all the stars. Is weird like not something I ever taste before, but feels like something my body was missing. I love you so much, my heart. I give you pleasure now. Then we sleep.” Tareq nodded.

I didn’t understand what he meant, but he quickly pushed my legs up and grabbed the waistband of my pajama pants and pulled them off. He reached for the bedside table and grabbed lube from the drawer.

“You are so beautiful. This will be quick.” He shook his head and looked down at me with a smile. He pushed down his boxer briefs to free his thick monster. It bounced a few times before dropping a spot of pre-cum on my thigh.

“I need this.” I reached for his cock, but he grabbed my wrist and pinned my arm above my head.

“I do the sex. Is my job. You rest and enjoy. I bring you pleasure now.” He let go of my arm and reached for the lube. He slicked up his cock then lined it up with my hole while his other hand came to push on the center of my chest.

He started to push into me and immediately filled my body with little explosions. We tried to make time for it every day, but it still hit me like a tidal wave when he was inside me. He pushed in deeper, lighting up the places inside me that warmed and pulsed at his touch. I started to close my eyes, but his hand moved from my chest to my jaw. He liked me to keep my eyes on his so he could gauge my pleasure and avoid hurting me.

“So fucking good. You feel how hard you make me, baby? You are made for me and I for you.” Tareq looked down at me with a hazy passion; trying to gauge my reactions, but also lost in his pleasure.

He leaned down and brought me against his chest as he slid deeper into me and started to pump. His cock stretched me and had me feeling like I was right on the edge, about to fire off. I muffled my passion noises against his shoulder as his hard muscled chest rubbed against mine. He worked up a slow rhythm, making my body weak and tingly as he began to pound me.

“Fuck… yeah,” I whined into his shoulder. His arms wrapped around me, pressing our chests together as he worked up his rhythm. He hit that spot inside me that made me light up. I held on tightly as he pounded me against the pillows.

Tareq started talking in this low growl of Arabic that made things so much hotter. After feeding him with my milk, I definitely wasn’t going to last long. I tried to push down on him to get him inside me deeper, but he knew my limits and kept things to a comfortable depth.

The smooth bubble of my stomach rubbed against his furry, taught abs with my rock hard cock rubbing between.

For the first time, I could really feel the pregnancy between us. I wondered for a split-second if baby Ahmed was disturbed by everything thumping around him. This was so not the moment to think of him, but he was always there inside me, humming along happily. He would definitely know that his parents loved each other. 

“You like daddy breeds your hole? Yeah? You want my seed, my love?” Tareq snapped me back to the task at hand.

“Fuck yeah. I’m so close,” I warned him.

“Sucking your little muscle tits make me ready. I am not last long as well,” he agreed. He sped up, ramming into me and pushing against my spot with a force that said he very much owned it.

He held me tightly against his chest with my cock rubbing between our stomachs while he pistoned my hole and kissed me to muffle my happy noises. 

“Fuck, so good,” he growled against my ear. I felt my cock on the edge as he pounded me against the pillows.

“Right there, oh fuck,” I gasped. I started to shake and my cock erupted between us as his thick meat stretched me perfectly. I buried my head against his shoulder, sucking at his skin as I thrashed around and emptied my seed.

“I cum,” he shoved deeper into me and I felt him start to erupt. He shot warm missiles inside me that banged against my prostate and made my body jerk and twist in pleasure.

“Yes, daddy. Fill me up,” I begged.

“Fuck,” he hissed before burying his lips against my neck. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He pushed in deeper then held his cock there while the last few shots filled me.

He collapsed against me, and then rolled onto his side with his arms wrapped around me. He held me tightly against his chest and kissed me.

“That was intense,” I gasped. He turned onto his back and pulled me onto his chest. We laid there on the bed recovering our breath together. 

“I love you so much. Every day I think how lucky I am.” He pulled the towel over us and wiped up what he could. 

“I love you too.” I snuggled into his warmth feeling spent and relieved. 

He kissed my forehead and we fell asleep.

40: The Fire is Lit

“I just can’t believe you’re getting married. I’m so happy for you!” Aunt Hilda glowed from her little square in the group face chat.

My grandparents were in other squares and my mom’s best friend was in the last one. Everyone had logged on to wish us well before the ceremony. I was kind of bummed not having any of my actual family here, but the Hamads were doing their best to make me feel like I did.

“Thank you. It’s so crazy. We just knew it was the right time.” I lied.

None of them knew about the pregnancy and they certainly didn’t know Tareq had tricked me into it. They also didn’t know that Tareq had been investigated and this wedding was a way to ensure we wouldn’t be separated again. My life had gone off track.

“You look so handsome in your tuxedo. I love that blue. Your parents would be so happy for you. Your father looked just as handsome on his wedding day. You know we’d love to be there with you, but we just can’t do that far of a trip.” My paternal grandmother smiled sadly.

“Oh no. It’s fine. I mean this was so sudden. Maybe someday soon we can have something in Tucson to celebrate,” I nodded.

“Dylan, is almost time to start,” Mr. Hamad said. He and Emerson were hanging out with us in the little side room where we were getting ready before making our grand entrance. Wes and Ishaq had stopped by before going to find their seats in the theater.

“Ok. Just click on the link to switch over to the wedding feed streaming thingie,” I told my family and hoped they’d figure it out. It had taken them a while to get the video call working.

I said my goodbyes to them and they disappeared one by one. I turned to Tareq who was looking out at the crowd filling in the auditorium.

“Is not too many… You do not need to look.” Tareq gulped as he closed the door. I could tell he was lying. He didn’t want me to think of the oversized crowd his mother had invited to celebrate our day.

We were getting married at an events center called the Golden Dome. It was a large theater with a giant dome roof that glittered gold in the desert sun.

“What? Really? No…. Ok, it’s fine. It’s fine. We’ll make it. All that matters is us, right?” I could feel my heart pounding in my ear.

“We will be in our little area. Just give little nod of head and smile when you walk out and all will be fine. You do not need to look at crowd until we are finished and ready to exit.” He brought me into his arms.

“It will be fine. Don’t be nervous. We will be out there with you,” Emerson signed. He hugged me just as Tareq’s parents rushed into the room.

“Here we go! It’s time! March, March,” Tareq’s mom grabbed her husband’s arm and pushed him towards the door. She had been out front making sure everything met her expectations. This was her day to shine.

A violin started to play, it sounded lonely and I didn’t know the tune. It played through one verse of a soft song and then other instruments started to join it.

“Just as we practiced. Yes? Smiles and happy-happy.” Tareq’s mom turned to glare at me as if she knew I was going to fuck this up.

“Yes, mother. We are ready,” Tareq told her.

She nodded at us and then walked out towards the stage with her husband.

“Don’t be nervous. Everything will go well, little one.” He gave me one last hug before taking Emerson’s arm and leading him out.

“Don’t forget earpiece so you know what goes on,” Tareq reminded me.

The ceremony would be in Arabic mostly so I had a small white earbud connected to a translator who would explain things in English. I put it in and I could hear him breathing softly, waiting for words to translate.

“Here we go,” Tareq offered me his arm.

I wrapped both arms around his and held on as he started to walk towards the doorway. We went through this small transition room and then out into the bright lights of the stage. 

I took one look at the crowd, a thousand strangers eyeing me with interest. I quickly turned back towards Tareq’s side as he gently pulled me across the stage where the Hamads and Zakars were waiting with the Imam, a holy guy who would perform the ceremony.

Things in this country weren’t super religious, but this was supposed to be the main cleric for Satra. Mrs. Zakar had been super happy to book him. She said it was a great honor. Tareq led me over to him as the music wrapped up.

I looked above me and saw that Mrs. Zakar had gone way over the top with the decorations. There were thousands of white flowers wrapped with gold ribbon made into a huge arch over the stage.

The edge of the stage was lined with more white flowers in pots wrapped with gold ribbon tied into ornate bows. It all looked very expensive and time-consuming. This was her last child to be married and she went all out for it. I felt bad for not appreciating it more. I would definitely thank her for all of her efforts, even though she had not included the shades of blue I picked for our wedding colors. The gold and white looked nice enough.

We got to where the holy man was and Tareq took me to stand between Mr. Hamad and Emerson. Tareq went to stand between his own parents. I got a quick look at the crowd, but then lowered my eyes to the floor. Mr. Hamad put his hands on my shoulders and held me between them.

The Imam started to speak and the guy in my earbud translated. It was some kind of sermon. He was talking about the importance of a union that will last for a lifetime and lots of other stuff. I tuned-out because my heart was racing, I could feel a thousand eyes on me, I was staring at the thick carpet under my feet, and baby Ahmed was doing a little dance inside of me.

His speech went on for what felt like a long time. I felt my knees get weak and I was starting to sway a little bit back and forth. Mr. Hamad held me still and kissed the top of my head.

“It’s ok, little one,” he whispered against my ear. I looked over my shoulder at him and gave a nervous smile.

The speech ended with some kind of blessing that sounded like a poem. He turned towards us and asked something of Mr. Hamad. I listened to the translator in my ear that the man was explaining the marriage contract we’d made including the gifts Tareq’s parents had made to my family. I thought that was a little weird to put the details out there for the audience, but that was the custom here. Everyone would know the Zakars had lavished my family with gifts.

“We accept the terms and know Dylan will be loved and protected,” Mr. Hamad said in Arabic and it came out in my ear through the translator.

The Imam turned to the Zakars and asked them the same question. Mr. Zakar affirmed that they accepted the contract and would treasure and protect me as part of their family.

With that, Mr. Hamad nudged me forward. He walked me to a spot in front of the Imam and pointed towards a large satin pillow. I knelt on it with my back to the audience. Mr. Hamad returned to where Emerson was standing. Mr. Zakar brought over Tareq and he knelt on the satin pillow beside me.

The Imam launched into another speech, this one about the responsibilities we were taking on. He mostly directed it at Tareq, admonishing him to be a good leader, provider, and protector for me.

He urged me to be gentle, caring, and obedient; to respect Tareq as my leader and provider and always go through him when I had a problem. 

It wasn’t the most progressive speech, especially since we were gay, and I was already carrying the man’s child. But tradition is tradition and it wasn’t entirely untrue for us. I liked how strong he was and how he took care of us. I happily nodded and told him, “I accept.”

He turned to the parents and gave them similar advice to watch over us and guide us through whatever may come. It was really beautiful, and I realized I’d stopped thinking about the crowd of people watching us. The Zakars and the Hamads both agreed. I was now one of them.

I looked up at Mr. Hamad and Emerson. They caught my eyes and offered a warm smile. Emerson was tearing up and Mr. Hamad held his hand firmly. 

I was so grateful for their love and for taking me in as their own child, but it still sucked that my real parents weren’t up there. My mom would be crying through the whole thing. My dad would be nodding awkwardly and wishing he wasn’t standing in front of a huge audience. My mom would have loved the decorations and the ceremony. They should have been there. 

Finally, the imam pulled a paper from his book and explained that since I was from the USA, he would include some things from my culture. He unfolded a paper and read a wedding blessing from my grandmother’s culture. 

“Now you have lit a fire and that fire should not go out. 

The two of you now have a fire that represents love, understanding and a philosophy of life. 

It will give you heat, food, warmth, and happiness.

This new fire represents a new beginning – a new life and a new family. 

The fire should keep burning; you should stay together. 

You have lit the fire for life, until old age separates you.“

It was beautiful. I remembered hearing it once when I was a kid at a cousin’s wedding up in Payson. 

Mr. Hamad walked forward with a large, white, velvet box and knelt down between us to open it. Inside, there were two gold rings. The first was large and thick like a golden bolt, the second was smaller and lined with glittering diamonds. 

“Dylan. You are everything I ever wanted for my life, my future, my family.” Tareq picked up the smaller ring and I noticed a guy with a microphone move to hover behind us. It felt like a movie set. I looked at the guy but felt Tareq’s hand on my cheek moving my attention back to him. 

“I promise to always put your happiness and safety before my own. You have my heart, my faithfulness, and my protection. I will be faithful to you alone. Will you wear my ring and be my partner for life?” He held the ring hopefully. He had practiced his vows and had this cute, nervous energy to his delivery. 

“I will.” I nodded and offered my ring finger. He slipped it on. It was a little heavier than the engagement one. 

I looked over at Mr. Hamad who stayed kneeling between us holding the ring box. I took the thicker ring meant for Tareq and held it up. 

“Hi… Yeah…” I started to blank on what I’d written. I looked over at Emerson since he’d helped me write it. He nodded encouragingly and started to sign something. 

“I am so excited about my future with you. I will be your partner, your support, your confidant. I know we will make a family to be proud of, because we love each other and there’s nothing we can’t do when we work together.” I pushed the ring forward, forgetting to ask if he accepted it. 

“Yes, I will be yours forever,” Tareq said as if I’d asked the question. I slipped the ring on his finger and he leaned in to kiss me. 

“You cannot wait?” The imam asked with a laugh as the translator in my ear repeated it in English. “Ok then, you are married,” he continued. The audience laughed and then clapped and cheered. 

We got to our feet. My legs felt wobbly from kneeling for so long, but Tareq held me up as the imam presented us as a married couple to the crowd. The Zakars and Hamads quickly appeared behind us and clapped along with everyone. 

It wrapped up quickly after that and we took a zillion pictures as the guests mingled and made their way out of the theater. Several of the honored guests came forward and took pictures with us. Mrs. Zakar worked her way through them with dictatorial authority. 

I was officially a Zakar, and baby Ahmed would be born to parents who were married. We didn’t know where we would live, but at least we knew we wouldn’t be split up again. 

“We have reception dinner, and then to hotel for our special night,” Tareq told me when the photographer finally finished. 

“I really just want to crash, so not hungry,” I yawned as he walked me back to the room where we’d gotten ready. 

“We will make appearance, have some cake, dance one song, then we can go. Is ok? You feel sick?” he asked. 

“I’m good. Let’s get this done,” I told him. 

He stood, took my hand in his, and led me over to the reception.

41: Honey & The Moon

“This place is beautiful. He’s so soft. I’ve never been on a camel!” I leaned forward and pet the camel’s neck while he plodded along towards our room. A man in a hotel uniform was leading him.

“They give him bath. He smell nice, but not as good as my boy. You feel different now? To be mine forever?” Tareq pulled me back against his chest and kissed my neck as we rode along.

“I do. I thought I’d be super freaked out up there in front of everyone, but I wasn’t. I realized I want this. I can’t wait for our baby and our home together.” I turned my face towards his and his lips rose up to find mine.

The camel went over a rise in the desert landscape and then down a path between huge Acacia trees that shaded us from the quickly setting sun. We’d taken a limo from the wedding. We were just outside the city at a desert resort built into a cavern between two large, rocky mountains that looked like the ones back home in Tucson.

“This one is ours.” Tareq pointed to a two-story box painted to match the surrounding desert and shaded with large trees.

The camel went right up to the front door and Tareq slid off before reaching up to lift me off of it. I gave one last hug to the gentle giant before reaching for Tareq who brought me down into his arms. He had me horizontal in his hold with one arm under my back and another under my knees as I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold on.

“You can put me down. I can walk,” I laughed.

“Never. I marry you and you are legally mine.” He carried me to the door as the camel’s attendant went to open it for us.

The first floor held a small kitchen with a table and a living room that held a huge television on a wall decorated in ornate wood carvings. The back of the open space was lined with tinted windows that looked out over the desert scenery with no other buildings looking back at us. 

I could see a few goats lazily making their way across the landscape, stopping to investigate the scrubby growth. The couch, the curtains, the rugs, everything looked straight out of the Aladdin cartoon I’d watched a hundred times growing up.

“Oh it’s so beautiful! I feel like princess Jasmine! I just need to find a lamp” I noted.

“I do not know her. You want I turn more light on?” Tareq shook his head in confusion then kissed me. I guess he’s not a Disney fan.

Tareq said something to the attendant in Arabic and the guy set the room keys on the table and did a little head nod before turning on a few lamps and leaving us alone. I stifled a laugh.

Tareq carried me to a staircase that climbed around the corner of the room. We went up to a bedroom loft with a second bathroom. The room was dominated by a huge canopy bed that went up to the ceiling with flowy white curtains tied back with gold ropes. The white bedspread had pink rose petals laid out in a heart with our initials T & D inside.

“It’s beautiful!” I caught my breath as he brought me to it.

“Is all for you. My boy deserve the best,” he said and held me out like he was ready to toss me onto the bed.

“No! You’ll mess up the petals!” I protested, but he dropped me on the bedspread anyways.

“I am pretty sure our sex will destroy it.” He laughed as a spray of rose petals flew up.

“Dude!” I scolded softly.

“I take pictures.” Tareq took out his phone and got a few pics of me spread out on the bed of petals wearing my tuxedo from the wedding.

“Well it’s too late now.” I shrugged. 

“They make new tomorrow when they clean room. So sexy. I cannot believe you are mine for life,” he sighed after snapping a few pics.

“We’ll see how it goes,” I teased. “For real though, I can’t believe we’re married. It feels so weird, so permanent, so fast.” I held up my hand to look at the ring again.

“Is not fast. You carry my child. You hold my heart. You are my future. This is natural step to things.” He flopped down next to me and scooped up a pile of petals then tossed them over my chest.

I rolled over against his chest and he wrapped his arms around me.

“When did you know?” I asked.

I pushed my nose against his cheek and kissed his chin. I loved the smell of his cologne mixed with the sweat of a busy day. His cheek had a prickly stubble though he’d shaved just twelve hours ago.

“What do I know?” He asked. He raised his phone to check a notification buzz. He’d been away from his job for a whole day. 

“When did you know I was the right one?” I’d asked this before, but I like to hear him tell it again.

“Oh… The database say we are perfect match for baby, but there were many options. I tell you this all before. I choose the best boy of all and is you.” He set his phone down and pulled me onto his chest so my head fit just under his chin.

“But why the sneaky thing of getting me pregnant. I mean you are so hot I totally would have loved to have a baby with you. I’m sure just about anyone would want your baby.” I rubbed my cheek against his chest.

“You are perfect age, perfect beauty, pure in heart and soul. You are most beautiful I can find. I fall in love with you. I know is wrong what I do to you, but I did not wish to risk rejection. I know you will forgive me. I know you will love me if you carry my child and see the life I can give to you. Is wrong, very bad of me, but I do not regret. I have my dream.” He admitted.

“Rejection? You think I would have turned you down? You are the hottest guy I’ve ever met. I can’t see anyone turning you down.” I couldn’t believe he was insecure about me.

“You think this? So I take you on date, first date… and I woo you, yes? I work magic, then maybe I wait a week and ask you will carry my child. You think you will say yes?” Tareq rubbed his chin against the top of my head.

“Well no. I probably would have thought you were crazy, but…” I agreed.

“But you still will want to be with me?” His chin rubbed down until his lips found my forehead.

“Probably. I was so into you. Even just the way you said my name was so hot, dee-luhn. I’d never heard it like that.” I mimicked how he said my name.

“I say your name wrong? How I shall say?” He sounded confused and a little embarrassed.

“Not wrong, just different. Once I heard how you say it, that became the only pronunciation I ever want to hear. I felt so different with you; everything changed. Maybe it would have taken some time, but I would have wanted to have your baby. I know it for fact,” I assured him.

“Our little Ahmed was destiny. I knew you will be perfect mate for me, perfect mommy for Ahmed. Everyone love you. The most respectable family in my kingdom want that you are theirs. I am sorry for trick you, but I do not regret this. You are all I hope for. You are my peak.” He hugged me tightly and rubbed my shoulder. I slid my hand down to his bulge and cupped it.

“I’m like… super horny right now.” I laughed and shook my head. I didn’t know how to get this going.

“I am always ready when you are near. Come, my love. They have nice bath for us.” Tareq patted my bottom and then began to sit up. I slid off of him and he got to his feet then reached for my hand.

There was an expansive upstairs bathroom with a huge tub in the corner with windows looking out over the moonlit night. Tareq flicked a switch on the wall that put soft lights around the bathtub. He over went to turn on the water while I struggled out of the tuxedo I’d worn for our wedding. He waited for the waiter to warm before plugging the bath and then joining me in unraveling all the buttons and ties from our wedding gear. We stripped down to just our wedding rings then he came over and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in against his chest.

“All day, the only thing I can think is to get you here and take you as mine,” he whispered as he leaned in and put his lips to my right ear.

He kissed my neck and rubbed his hands down my back to cup my ass. He lifted me up into his chest and I put my arms around his neck to hold on. I wrapped my legs around his waist. I felt his thick cock push up between my cheeks and poke against my hole.

“Fuck,” I whined as the fat tip rubbed against my sensitive hole that begged for his attention.

“Is time, my love.” He carried me over to the tub and held me with one hand as the other went to turn off the water and pour a series of small glass vials into the water. The tub started to bubble and a heavy scent of lavender hit my nose and relaxed me.

He stepped into the tub and lowered us, sitting back in the tub and bringing me down into his lap. I leaned forward and kissed him as his fingers started to open my hole and stretch it for his cock. I knew my body didn’t need that, it always opened for him, but I felt ripples of pleasure and tingles of desire as he pushed into me. I put my head on his shoulder and whimpered as he worked me open.

“This is mine?” he asked as with fake doubt.

“Always, sir.” I groaned as his fingers pushed up and found the spots that made my body twist and shiver.

“Please fuck me,” I begged.

“You want like this?” he asked. His fingers left my hole and his hands went to hold my waist and steady me over his pulsing cock.

“Yes, sir. Please, sir.” I whimpered.

He lowered me down until I perched on his thick cock. The head poked into my hole and I felt my body suck it in. I slid down halfway on him and instantly filled with trembles.

“Your hole is greedy today,” he laughed. He loved what he could make me feel, the control he had over my pleasure. He started to push up into me, holding me steady with his hands on my ass. He spread my cheeks and started to slowly piston my hole.

“Baby pussy, so good. It grip me so tight. My good little love,” he praised. He kissed my neck as I lowered my lips to his shoulder, sucking on his skin as I started to ride him.

“Fuck, sir. So fucking… yeah. Just like that,” I begged. He let me bounce on him with my feet planted against the ceramic tub on either side of his stomach. He kept his hands on my ass, not letting me slide down too far. He always worried I’d hurt myself.

“That’s my boy. Fuck, Dylan. You are made for me,” he growled.

He kept one hand on my ass, but the other went to my chest. He started to pinch my nipples then leaned in to suck on the milk I’d developed that day. He nibbled and slurped my milk with a happy little groan as I bounced on his cock. He sucked out as much as he could, his hand massaging my pec to squeeze it out.

“So tasty, the last you make as a single boy.” He kissed my nipple then moved his attention to the other one as I tried to fit more of his cock in my hole.

“Fuck, daddy. So good,” I whimpered. His cock pushed me open and lit up every happy spot inside me. I felt so weak in his hold, barely able to bounce and get the cock I needed as he started to work on my other nipple. He massaged my pecs, tweaking my nipples and sucking out the milk, swallowing every drop. He loved it.

“Mmmm,” he groaned as he drained one part while filling another. My body twisted, twitched, trembled, and thrashed as he pushed deep inside me.

“Oh fuck, I’m,” I yelled and then felt a huge sneeze coming on.

“Ahhhhchooo,” I sneezed out a thick glob of green I hadn’t realized was blocking my sinuses.

“Bless you.” Tareq looked up at me with wild eyes. I got just a little on his forehead.

“Ahh Fuck, I’m so sorry.” I reached for his forehead and swiped off my mucus then washed my hand off in the water.

Tareq burst out laughing. “What happens?”

“I don’t know. It felt so good and I guess all the movements just… fuck. Why do I always do gross things right in front of you?” I grimaced.

“Is fine. I love everything my boy give me,” he laughed. “So fucking cute.” He raised up and kissed me as his cock started to pound my hole again as if I hadn’t just done something horrifically disturbing.

“I am so close,” I told him as he sped up and pushed into the deepest parts of me. I sniffled back what was left in my nose then pushed my face into his shoulder while he filled me with happy.

“I am here,” he growled. He pushed deep inside me, fucking the bottom and lighting up every happy spot.

“Fuck,” I hissed as my cock started to spray between us. I collapsed against him and he took over, holding me steady against his chest while his cock pistoned my hole.

“I seed,” he groaned. He pushed his cock all the way inside until my ass rested on his nuts and then started to unload. My body twisted and thrashed in his arms as he pumped his seed into me.

“Huhhhh,” I whined as he filled me with juice. I felt the sparks fly through every part of me as he gave me the seed my body begged for. He kept his cock buried in me, pushing and pulling a few times to milk out the last of his cum.

“So good,” I praised and rested against his chest. He held me, kissed my cheek and laid there recovering as our hearts pounded against each others’ chests.

We laid in the warm bath for a few minutes before he stirred and began to wash me. He kept his cock inside me as it started to soften and give up a few more drops of his juice. He rubbed soap over my back and I snuggled into his hold to let him work.

We stayed until the water went cold and then he lifted me up and helped me out. We went over to the shower to rinse off the oils and whatever leftover mess we’d made. He dried me and helped me into warm pajamas before leading me to the bed.

We crawled under the covers and looked up at the skylight that showed the dark night filled with stars above us. I was his. I was Dylan Zakar.

42: Catching Up

“There’s our Ahmed. See? 20 weeks and he is a healthy, perfect boy. He’s growing so quickly now. He knows the time is near… Almost, little one. He is moving quite a bit this morning… Oh, he waves! Hello, new life.” Dr. Rammat pointed to the screen with glee.

“He waved! He looks happy. I keep having the worst dream that he gets lost inside me, like we show up and you can’t find him on the scope and he’s lost in there and freaked out not knowing how to find me.” I put my hands on my stomach and gave the baby a rub of relief.

I spent most of my days with my hand there, feeling his gentle hum and occasional movements. He slept a lot, but when he got in the mood to explore, I could feel every stretch. I’d gently trace my finger in different spots and sometimes he’d reach out an appendage to give me a high five. He’d always know I was on his team.

I had one month to go before they’d do the procedure and transfer baby Ahmed to the incubation pod where he’d spend as long as two months until he could survive on his own. He’d grown so big inside me that even the bulky sweaters Reyk had picked out for me a few months back couldn’t hide him entirely.

“You are tiny boy. Is not that he has much place to hide! We know where he is,” Tareq laughed.

Tareq had changed so much in the month we’d been married. He was no longer afraid I would try to head home and the criminal investigation into him by Ms. Hassan was long behind us. He was back to the confident leader I’d fallen for six months ago in Arizona.

“Everything looks good. Dylan is keeping up with his exercise and nutrition. Our Ahmed will be ready for his pod life in just a few more weeks. I’ll print a few pictures for the family to see. Have you spoken with your aunt in Arizona yet? You should send her a photo.” Dr. Rammat moved to the printer behind the screen.

“No. We are almost finished and at this point it would just be easier to wait until he’s born and tell her we used a surrogate with an egg from a woman who looked like me.” I sighed.

“We do not wish she will panic,” Tareq added.

“You do realize the clinic now has added measures to meet with and obtain signed consent forms from both parties before issuing the medication to begin the procedure. The judge ordered it to avoid future situations like yours. I believe they’re naming it the Zakar form.” Dr. Rammat looked at Tareq with displeasure.

Tareq nodded silently and moved towards me as Dr. Rammat released me from the scanning chamber.

We’d spent so long hiding things. We’d been through so many lies and so many trials. But every time I touched and felt the life growing inside me, I knew it was worth it. I knew I’d forgiven Tareq for his deceit. I was so ready to meet my Ahmed, so ready to hold him, nurse him, love him.

We finished up the exam and Dr. Rammat gave us the printed pictures in a large white envelope.

The clinic had our names printed as “Mr. and Jr. Tareq Zakar - Baby: Ahmed Nasaan.”

When we registered with the Satran Crown after our wedding, there were options. We could choose Mister and Mister, signifying two individuals who identified as males of equal status; or Mister and Junior, signifying two individuals who identified as male but one was under the protection and responsibility of the other. The Junior option was not uncommon here with the high rate of foreign marriages. It was recommended that non-citizens choose this on their forms.

Tareq explained that since I was not from Satra and did not speak Arabic or know the customs here that it would be best to register as his junior so his family would be responsible for anything I might need. I certainly felt like his junior.

This meant that in this society, I was under his protection. I had to watch an hour-long informational video on it and take an online test afterwards to show I’d paid attention to give informed consent. If encountering police or government officials, Tareq would be contacted and he would handle matters.

He was responsible for my health and welfare expenses and responsible to ensure that my standard of living would not differ from his. It also ensured we would have equal rights and responsibility for any children we created together unless one of us was proved to be a danger or otherwise incapable.

I received an identification card with my picture and information and a small blue symbol that looked like a safety pin to signify my status. Tareq’s information was on there as my responsible senior.

If we went back to Arizona, though, it would just be seen as a regular marriage. I could never in a million years imagine the United States doing those kinds of arrangements, but it made sense and would protect me here.

+++—+++—+++

When we got back to the Hamad estate, our new monitor was waiting to meet us. She would be the last one and would stay with me through my recovery.

For this monitor, Tareq insisted on a female so I wouldn’t be jealous that they’d attract his attention. Mr. Hamad had insisted on interviewing three choices and reviewing their references and credentials. He promised a hefty bonus if things went well, and we had our pick of specialists.

Meena had 20 years experience as a delivery nurse and midwife. One of her references was pop sensation Jendi Skittles. He’d spoken with her personally as Kasper loomed in the background hoping to get a word in. Meena had worked with several of Dr. Rammat’s patients so she was well versed in the unique challenges of male pregnancy. He truly had kept his word to get me the best care.

Tareq’s mother was waiting there for us as well. She was overly excited at her newfound closeness to the Hamad family and the status it bought her in Satran society. It didn’t matter to her that the only reason the Hamads were involved was through a court order due to her son’s illegal activities. That had been swept under the rug.

I should have been upset by that, but she was treating me like her favorite son and it had cured her disappointment in Tareq’s actions. She gushed with praise over me, and was planning a lavish baby shower for us with prestigious guests flying in from various parts of the world. If the wedding was big, this was going to be bigger. Tareq had to reign her in when she mentioned us arriving in a helicopter that showered the guests with gold-tipped confetti.

“How is my grandchild? I must see the photos! Everything checked out, my love?” Mrs. Zakar squealed as Tareq led me into the main living room of the Hamad’s palatial main house.

“The baby is well, mother,” Tareq assured as she came in to kiss his cheeks.

“Everything is perfect.” I nodded and handed over the envelope with the pictures.

“Of course it is! The Hamads take very good care of you.” She quickly opened the envelope and dug for the photos.

“Come and meet your monitor, little one.” Mr. Hamad pulled me in for a hug.

Behind him was Meena, a short, older woman that my mother would have described as “voluptuous.” She had thick black hair pulled back into a ponytail and a warm smile. I expected her to hug me, but she just gave a polite nod.

“It is nice to meet you. I can see you are making very good progress. It will make my job easy,” she said.

“He has been through so much, the little lamb. We are forever in the Hamad’s debt for their care of my Dylan,” Mrs. Zakar interjected.

“He is a wonderful boy. My Emerson has greatly enjoyed having new life in our home.” Mr. Hamad put his arm around me.

“Yes,” Meena looked at a tablet she’d opened on the coffee table. “This is going to go well. We should look at adding more iron to his diet, but his levels look good otherwise. We’ll keep the workout routine if it’s not too strenuous, but we will need more rest as his body gets ready for the procedure.”

“Rest sounds good. Is nearly his nap time and I have work to get to. I must put him to rest. You will excuse us.” Tareq put his hand on my back.

Back in the smaller Hamad house, we found Kasper laid out on the couch under a blanket and cuddling a pillow. He was in his second week of pregnancy and it was hitting him pretty hard. His normal bubble of energy had shifted into sleepy nausea. Amir was still at work, but he’d left water, snacks, and Kasper’s favorite films.

“I smell meat. Is someone cooking outside?” Kasper raised his head and asked.

“I do not think so,” Tareq answered.

“Oh… I could really use a hot dog if… oh maybe not.” He looked sick and I felt bad for him.

Emerson walked in behind us and immediately went to take care of him. He thrived on caring and Kasper soaked up his attention like a dry sponge. Tareq guided me back to the bedroom for naptime.

“Was I that sick? It seems like it’s hitting him harder,” I noted when Tareq closed the door of our bedroom.

“He is older and more dramatic. You do not express yourself as he does. You do not complain so much.” He kissed my forehead and helped lift my shirt so I could get changed for my nap.

“Poor guy.” I yawned. “I did throw up a lot and everything smelled strange. I hope things settle down for him.”

“He is taken care of by Emerson. Let’s get you to sleep. I have meeting soon.” Tareq pulled a clean t-shirt from the drawer and helped me change.

We settled into bed and he launched into Arabic for his meeting. It was off camera so I cuddled into his side and he kept an arm around me as he spoke. His low voice and the rhythm of the foreign language lulled me to sleep.

+++—+++—+++

“Your aunt has not responded to the invitation for the baby shower. Shall I call her? Do Americans not RSVP?” Mrs. Zakar said as we settled into dinner. We’d gone to the Zakar house to have dinner with his family and check the progress on the renovation to Tareq’s small house.

They’d finished almost all of the construction, but they were waiting for the tile she’d chosen from a specialty mason in Tanzania. It was a rare blue stone infused with gold flecks. It was held up in customs at a port in Oman, but she was calling and yelling at them every few hours to get it to move. Tanzanite flooring was the current design rage in Satra’s upper society, and she would not be caught without it.

Tareq’s renovated house looked so cozy. She’d really been thoughtful in working with the architect. The nursery connected to the main bedroom just like the one at the Hamad’s home where we’d been staying. She’d made it bigger though, of course, and added a sink and baby station.

They’d designed it to easily add additional bedrooms if we decided to have more kids. Her goal was to eventually make it bigger than the Hamad’s. The entire back wall had big windows with views of the crashing waves along the beach. Mrs. Zakar had put in windows that tilted outwards both to shade from the sun and take advantage of the ocean breeze.

We would be moving in just before I went for the procedure. Our bedroom at the Hamad house would be renovated to its original use as a nursery back when Mr. Hamad and Emerson had brought home their newborn twins 25 years ago. They were sad to see us go, but it would work out perfectly with Kasper now carrying a child and Tareq was excited to be back in his own home where he had complete control.

“You invite the aunt? I tell you this is secret from his family! Why you will do this?” Tareq erupted as he stood from the table.

“We do not agree to hiding. What is the point? Either way you will have a child and they will know. You will eventually wish to visit them in the states, no?” Mr. Zakar didn’t look the least bit alarmed at his son’s outburst.

“It wasn’t intentional. I sent her a message last Friday to get baby pictures of the boy for the shower and she sends things and then asks why I want them. If you planned to tell her you’re using a surrogate then you probably should have already told her. She was very surprised you’d want a baby so soon after the wedding, but she knows you are in love,” Mrs. Zakar explained.

“She didn’t call us… Did she call your phone, Tareq? I haven’t talked to her this week. She’s probably upset that we didn’t tell her.” I gripped Tareq’s arm.

“She did not call… Wait! You got pictures? I want to see my baby Dylan when he was actual baby!” Tareq skipped right over the drama.

“And videos! She sent a selection. I’ll show you.” She reached for her ipad where she’d been showing us the designs for the new house.

She swiped around a bit and then set it up in front of us on the table. The video opened with a picture of a cake that had “Dylan’s First” written in icing between colorful balloons and Elmo’s face.

Everyone started singing happy birthday as the camera panned up to show a very disinterested me with a party hat on my head. I was wearing blue, Grover-print overalls over a yellow Big Bird shirt. It was a Sesame Street themed day. My mom had kept a framed photo on the wall back home from that day.

“Baby Dylan! You are so tiny there! I want that our Ahmed has these eyes! So beautiful,” Tareq glowed.

The camera zoomed out to show my family and the table with the cake, a super long sub sandwich from Eegee’s, and Elmo themed decorations.

“That’s the park by our house. Oh look at the mountains! I miss home! That’s Tucson.” I felt a surge of homesick rumbling inside me.

“It looks like here. We are desert twins,” Mr. Zakar observed.

“Oh it’s much nicer here with the ocean and no homeless camps. Tucson’s not nearly as clean either. It’s like… Oh look! My dad!” The camera turned around to show that my dad was recording.

Dad moved in and squatted beside me in the frame. Baby me reached towards him and made a sound of yearning as if I wanted to be picked up. I remember him saying I always wanted to be held up until I started kindergarten and then claimed I was too big to be picked up.

“You feel older, little man? Ready to find a girlfriend?” He joked to one-year-old me.

“Girlfriend,” Tareq laughed.

“He had hopes,” I chuckled.

“Nathan, did you pack his chupeta? I don’t see it in the bag. You know he can’t go without it.” My mom yelled from off screen.

“Probably. He’s fine. Stop fussing over him for five minutes and enjoy the party. We’re good, buddy, aren’t we?” Dad turned in his baby talk and leaned in to kiss my forehead.

“What means chupeta?” Tareq asked.

“Choo-PAYYY-tuh,” I corrected. “It’s the thing babies suck on…. um…pacifier.”

He swiveled the camera around to show my grandparents, my aunt, my cousin, Wes’ mom holding him in her arms, and then my mom.

“Yeah I’m not seeing it!” My mom continued to dig through the bag then looked up to give an annoyed glare.

“My parents. They look so young and… alive,” I choked up. “I haven’t seen this in so long. They’re so happy… they’re gone… they’re really gone.” I trailed off and turned to look away.

Tareq reached over and slid me out of my chair and into his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and put his chin on my shoulder. He rubbed his cheek against mine.

“I’m so sorry, my love. You have me. I’ll keep to hold you as long as you need,” he whispered.

I sniffed back the tears that threatened to escape and nodded my head. “They should be here.”

“This wasn’t supposed to be sad. I thought it would be nice to show at the baby shower. Do you not want that? I want this to be a happy thing for you.” Mrs. Zakar asked with a genuine tone.

“It’s nice. Yes. Thank you. That was very thoughtful. And you’re right. We should tell my aunt something. I’ll call Wes first to see if she’s mad.” I settled into Tareq’s hold and took a deep breath.

Wes had gone back to Tucson last week with Ishaq who was off school for a break. They’d gone to meet his parents. Things were really blossoming between them. They were completely inseparable.

“We should eat. We need that you are home soon for bed before Mr. Hamad calls with worry,” Tareq warned.

We ate dinner and watched the rest of my birthday. The pacifier was found and Wes and I made a mess of the cake they served us. I got tons of gifts and my dad and Wes’ dad took turns beating the pinata since we were too young to swing a bat.

The perfect little family in the video had no idea of the troubles that laid ahead.

I hope Baby Ahmed would never know that hurt.

43: The Mother of All Showers

“It’s really sudden to be having a baby. You boys just got married and… quite frankly, you just met. But it sounds like you two have already started… and I know you’re both truly in love. I see how he looks at you and takes care of you. I know your parents would be happy for you, concerned but happy. It’s not how we do things, but I’m happy you’re happy. You have my blessing.” Aunt Hilda forced a smile though I could see through the face chat she wasn’t entirely on board with this.

“That means everything to me. Thank you. I thought maybe you were upset with me for not telling you before Tareq’s mom did.” I chewed my lip nervously.

I gave a side smile to Tareq who was working on his laptop on the other side of the room. He nodded his relief that things were ok. He’d insisted on sitting in when I called. He was extra vigilant with anything that might upset me. I was near the end of my pregnancy and supposed to stay calm.

“Oh no, no, sweetie. I felt bad. I wasn’t there for your wedding. I can’t get to your shower. It’s hard to get time off to fly to the other side of the world. I didn’t want to bother things for you. I see all your pictures and you have a really nice life over there. I can see they’re taking care of you. I can see you’re loved and that makes me happy. You’re happy, right?” She asked.

“I am. I feel like I’m back on a solid foundation. I mean you did so much to keep things normal for me. I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful,” I stammered.

“I get it! I do. You’ve been through so much. I’m happy for you. Did you get the wedding gift? It’s the same one I have. I cook just about everything in it when I’m by myself” She’d sent a fancy toaster oven for our wedding gift. It was still in the box since we didn’t have a kitchen of our own yet.

“Yes! Thank you. I’ll have to learn how to cook when we move into the new house. I know you can’t visit. But we will definitely get back to Arizona when the baby is old enough to travel… and yes, the baby was sudden. It just felt right. I’m so excited to welcome him into the world.” I did my best to reassure her.

We finished up and promised to talk more often. She was good.

+=|=+

The next few weeks were a solid routine. Meena had me on easier but more frequent workouts and I took a lot of walks with Tareq on the trail around the Hamad compound that wound up into the foothills. Emerson had both me and Kasper doing meditation and yoga twice a day. It was nice to have someone going through what I had experienced.

Kasper’s monitor was an actual doctor who had studied under Dr. Rammat and was preparing to launch his own clinic in Taiwan. Mr. Hamad was not taking any chances with his first born grandchild. Dr. Li would stay and monitor throughout the pregnancy.

It was so sweet watching Amir patiently wait on Kasper’s every whim. He was never more than a few feet away, and always checking on his mate. If he so much as sighed, Amir was on it.

They already had a name picked out for the baby. They combined their names to make, “Kasmir.” They thought it sounded better than “Amper.” I told Tareq our next baby would have to be called “Taryn” or “Dyleq.” Tareq was not on board with the idea, but he was excited that I was already talking about having another. He wanted a big family.

+=|=+

The morning of the baby shower extravaganza we went for brunch at the Zakar house where there was a team of stylists present to ensure we would be the centerpiece of pride that Mrs. Zakar needed. She wasn’t even there. She’d spent the night at the resort that was hosting our baby shower to get things ready.

I had a complete coat of makeup applied to my face that made me look very peach, with oversized blue eyes. I looked ready for battle. They put me in dark pants and a dark blue, long-sleeved, stretchy shirt that somewhat distracted from my baby bulge and showed off the strong pecs and arms I’d developed with the pregnancy and daily workouts.

Tareq was in a thin, blue tuxedo so he’d stay cool. The stylists gave him a fresh haircut and trimmed down his beard. He looked so handsome, but I could tell he was upset that the tuxedo was a little too tight for him.

He’d given up his daily weightlifting and workout routine to stay almost constantly by my side. He tried to only do his work when I was napping or doing activities with Emerson and Kasper. He’d gotten time off for paternity leave, but still had his regular accounts to maintain. 

His time was divided between sleep, work, and making sure things were going well with the baby. He had a crazy amount of pressure, and it took a toll on his sleep and fitness. Still, he always looked at me with adoring eyes and looked out for my care.

“You look so handsome,” I reassured him as he pulled at the neck of his suit.

“We will make our appearance and then go rest when you need it. My mother goes over the top for these things. I wish I tell her no on this. Is not what you need.” He sighed, pushed at a few strands of hair that had gone out of place, and looked at me in the mirror.

“It’s fine. People want to celebrate us. It’s your culture. Things will go back to normal.” I tried to sound confident.

“They will not go to normal. No, my love,” Tareq chuckled. “And I don’t wish for that. I am ready for new normal with my boy and child in our home. I am ready for our family and the life I dream of with the Dylan I love. I make perfect next for my boy and our baby.” He came over to kiss my cheek.

We took a limo with his family to the Khaimara resort where Mrs. Zakar had spent the night preparing. We rode an elevator up 30 floors to the top where she’d reserved the grand suite and a private room for just me and Tareq. 

Mr. Hamad and Emerson were already there with Kasper and Amir. Mrs. Zakar wanted to be seen with them as much as possible. I know they had to be annoyed by her, but they played along knowing it would create peace for me.

Just before 2pm, we were taken down to the large garden between the hotel and the beach. The whole area had been blocked off and there was a security entrance where guards had us go through a scanner and checked our pockets. There were high profile guests coming in for this.

An attendant walked us up to the front table. It was just below a stage where the opening act was warming up. There was a huge screen behind them showing some message in Arabic below a picture of me and Tareq. We’d done a quick photo shoot the week before. The message cycled to English.

It read: “The Houses of Hamad And Zakar United At Last! Welcome, Baby Ahmed Nasaan Zakar”

“It makes it sound like a drag competition!” I whispered to Tareq.

“Or Game of Thrones,” Tareq chuckled.

“I don’t want our baby lip-synching for his life.” I rubbed the baby in my tummy. Ahmed gave a tiny high five to assure me he was ready to compete.

“My son will be champion. Bring on the competitor! Our Ahmed is baby warrior!” Tareq laughed and put his arm around me as guests started to file in.

“Did you guys do this for the other grandkids?” I asked.

“Definitely not. For the first born they have party at the Grand Zee, but all of the others they have the fest at my parents’ home. But none of those are attached to the Hamad family. Baby Ahmed brings a new level to the social ladder. She is eager to climb.” He shrugged.

Mrs. Zakar came rushing down in a golden gown. She’d had a complete makeover and looked every bit the fierce socialite who could pull this monstrosity off. Her focused scowl changed quickly to a winning smile when her eyes fell on the guests.

She launched into a barrage of Arabic and went to hug and kiss the guests, ushering them towards us to give their well wishes for our baby. We stood and Tareq handled our greeting. I stayed just beside and behind him with Mrs. Zakar on my other side. Mr. Hamad and Emerson stood beside her. 

Mrs. Zakar kept putting her arm around me and nudging me forward when a new guest approached to show there was indeed a baby coming. My belly was her receipt. 

I nodded quietly with a serene smile as Tareq, The Zakars, and Mr. Hamad exchanged kisses and greetings with the endless flow of guests. I did not recognize a single person who came through, except for Dr. Rammat and a few of the friends from the group sessions at the clinic. They were the only ones who addressed me personally. After what felt like an eternity, we got to sit down.

As the guests took their seats, waiters brought out juice and plates of fruits and vegetables. The table in front of us quickly filled with food and drinks. A waiter poured me a glass of juice as Tareq ordered a cocktail. The band began to play as Mr. Hamad and Mr. Zakar made their way to the stage.

Mr. Hamad offered a greeting in Arabic and then English to thank everyone for coming and bless our soon to be born child. Mr. Zakar echoed a similar greeting in Arabic and Farsi. Tareq whispered a translation for me. As over the top as this whole celebration was, it was really beautiful to see how welcomed and wanted our baby was.

My parents would have been touched and overwhelmed to witness this. I doubt they ever speculated that someday I’d have a concert thrown in my honor on the other side of the world to celebrate my pregnancy. Nothing in that sentence would have been on their prediction bingo card. They probably expected I’d have a decent job and a sensible tract home near their own. 

The band started to play some music I’d never heard. Tareq said they were pretty popular, locally. He bopped his head along to the chorus.

The screen behind them started to play pictures of Tareq as a baby and then progressed through his childhood. His championship soccer wins, his martial arts, a science fair trophy, his army training, and trips around the world; it was a monument to the perfect childhood. He was their golden boy.

The slides moved on to me - a baby picture of me looking red-faced and angry, the video from my first birthday with my parents, a picture of me at the zoo with ice cream smeared all over my face, our trip to the grand canyon with my broken arm in a sling, the time I won a participation trophy in an art competition my mom signed me up for, and a picture of me and Wes on our first day working at Muffin Manor.

It quickly moved on to a picture of me standing between Mr. Hamad and Emerson, and then another where they were looking at the little model of baby Ahmed. The slides made it seem like they were a big part of my life. I was grateful to have them. I’m glad they made it into our slideshow.

The slideshow concluded and a camera did a sweep of the audience. It was wild to see how many people were there. It swept to the end and then over a stage with a pile of gifts. There were all shades of pastel blue and gold in the pile as if the guests had coordinated en masse.

“Holy woah! Did you see that?” I grabbed Tareq’s arm. I pulled his attention behind us and to the side where the pile of gifts was blocking the last rays of the setting sun.

“Oh yes, the gifts. Is nice, no?” He put his arm around me as I gawked.

“What are we going to do with all that?” I whispered.

“The staff will open. They will make lists and write notes of gratitude. Is what is done in your culture, no?” he looked at me as if not understanding my surprise.

“Yeah, but not like… Ahh!” I felt Ahmed moving inside me and he give me a sharp poke.

“What hurts, my love?” Tareq moved from his seat and quickly knelt in front of me.

“He’s moving. I guess he didn’t like me questioning the amount of gifts he’s getting,” I joked but then felt a pain just under where the baby was.

“Ouch,” I took a deep breath and gritted my teeth.

“Ok, we get Doctor now. I take you to lie down.” Tareq lifted me up into a fireman’s hold as Mr. Hamad went to get Dr. Rammat.

“It feels like he’s trying to figure a way out of me.” I wrapped my arms around Tareq’s neck and pushed my face into his shoulder.

“Is too early for this. The doctor will know how to fix.” Tareq carried me into the hotel and set me down on a plush bench behind a grove of palms. He knelt beside me and kissed my cheek then put his forehead against mine and took my hand in his.

“Yeah. I’m sure it’s fine, just… Ouch!” I started to breathe deeply as my body began to pulse with little waves of pain.

Dr. Rammat came in with Mr. Hamad as the two men spoke in a flurry of Arabic. Tareq turned and joined in the melee. Dr. Rammat knelt beside him and put his hand on my stomach and then his ear. He pushed gently in different areas and then checked my eyes and forehead.

The men discussed me as if I wasn’t conscious. Mr. Hamad came around to the other side of me and Emerson soon joined him. Mrs. Zakar stayed outside with the party. They discussed me for a few more minutes and then backed away. Tareq squatted down and lifted me back up into his arms as Mr. Hamad took Emerson and jogged away.

“We go to hospital. Maybe is time!” Tareq said as he carried me out of the lobby.

“Now? But it’s too soon. Is something wrong?” I asked.

“We don’t worry when we don’t know. Ok? I take care for you and my baby. He will do tests and see if Ahmed is ready. Is good news, ok?” Tareq tried his best to reassure me, but I felt the cracks of worry in his tone.

“What if he isn’t ready? What if something is wrong?” I started to panic in his hold.

“This is not good to think for this! We have best medicine in whole world. There is nothing we cannot fix. You will trust me to take care. I am your husband. I protect you both.” He carried me across the lobby and out to the front.

“But what if,” I started to say, but Mr. Hamad quickly roared up in his SUV. Emerson hopped out and opened the back door for us.

“No what! No but! No if! I protect what is mine,” Tareq assured. He laid me down in the seat and pulled the seatbelt across me to secure it. He closed the door and ran to jump in the other side before Mr. Hamad peeled out of there towards the hospital.

The sun had set and the city came alive as we zoomed out of the resort and onto a highway towards the hospital. Tareq held my hand and kept his eyes on me, offering a feint smile every time my eyes met his.

I tried to breathe, tried to rub Ahmed so he’d settle down inside me. At least he was moving, and showing me he was alive. It felt like a scene out of a movie - where someone’s had an accident and another person is trying everything to keep them comfortable until the ambulance arrives.

“How do you feel?” Tareq asked as we pulled off the highway. I realized I’d gone quiet trying to breathe through the pain.

“Hurts… I hope he’s ok. I think he’s wants out… I think he’s ok. Yeah… maybe,” I said between deep breaths.

“We are there soon. Everything will be ok.” He put his arm around me and I snuggled into his hold.

The hospital came into view and two nurses were waiting by the curb with a wheelchair. This was it. Possibly.

44: A Long Night

“What’s going on? It’s good?” I leaned up and rubbed my nose against Tareq’s cheek as I drifted back to consciousness. He cradled me against his chest, slowly rocking back and forth in the cold exam room. He sat on the padded table holding me like a wounded pet.

“They debate. Our baby is good, but my boy is not. You pass out when we arrive. Your little heart beats too fast. You are so small, my delicate flower. I should have known… I did this to you. I am bastard to be hated. You are not built for this, my precious boy.” He kept rocking me in a slow, steady rhythm as he balanced me on his lap with his eyes locked on the door. He was spinning out of control and I didn’t have the energy to help him.

“I feel so tired. You’re ok in there, baby boy?” I rubbed a hand over my stomach where baby Ahmed felt calm and peaceful.

“Ahmed is good. Of course he is good. He is very strong. He is close to ready for his birth. But you… is dangerous, my Dylan. He is of my blood. He is of Zakar seed, too rough for your delicate body. We are not born of flowers. We are made for war, you are built for gentle.” His voice seethed with regret.

“I chose to keep him. It was my decision and I don’t regret it… never ever. He’s mine and I want him.” I sighed.

“You are young and wish to please me. You do not think of what can go wrong. I push you and you give what I desire. You are too good for this. You trust me to keep you safe. I fail you.” He was really beating himself up and I was too tired to go there.

“Where’s Dr. Rammat? Mr. Hamad?” I put my hand on his chest. I needed to move him on from this self hating journey. His eyes darted down to me with surprise as if he hadn’t realized I was there.

“They debate with experts from other clinics. Mr. Hamad have 4 continents reviewing the tests. They will be sure before they give options to me.” He lowered his lips to kiss my forehead.

“Options to you?” I raised an eyebrow.

“I know you will save him no matter the price. I cannot allow that you choose this. I give you many choices but not this one. Your life is more value than my heir. We will not argue for this. I damage you. I fix this.” He looked back towards the door to show the finality of his resolve.

“Leaving me out is how we got into this in the first place… Let’s just wait and see what they say.” I don’t know why I said that. There was no way I could ever let go of Ahmed. There was no way I could ever let go of Tareq. They were all I had. I was the expendable in this equation.

We both stayed there silent, rocking gently and studying the Arabic poster on the back of the door. It seemed to be advertising a treatment or something. There was a handsome, muscled man from Tareq’s culture wearing a tight blue polo shirt and holding a small, sleeping boy against his chest while typing with his free hand on a laptop.

“What’s that about? Some treatment?” I slowly raised my hand to point to the poster, but my muscles started to protest.

“Is reminder we must choose good school early here. You don’t want they end up in Meebu. All school are ok here, but we want the best. Meebu mean your parents are lazy and have no connections. Is not good to have this on the record of his life.” His body relaxed with the change of topic, but he shivered at the mention of Meebu.

“Ahmed will never be Meebu! Can you imagine us raising a Meebu? Why haven’t we looked at the schools yet? You won’t let him end up there, right?” I faked panic. I needed to keep him talking so the waiting wouldn’t feel endless. I needed to focus on things I could control.

“He register for Penceford. My mother arrange it. He will be with the Hamad baby if he arrive on schedule. My mother will arrange that as well. She will make a Hamad of Ahmed so her friends will know she is royalty.” Tareq laughed and eased back on the table. We both took a deep breath.

“She really does need a crown. She works so hard for it,” I laughed.

“You are good to indulge her. She see your value to our family.” Tareq leaned down to kiss my forehead.

The door suddenly opened. Our laughter left as the small group filed in. Dr Rammat held a tablet where a checkerboard of wise-looking faces offered me appraising looks.

“You’re awake. You look well,” Dr. Rammat observed. “We’ve been reviewing the scans with the team. I feel pretty confident that we can go ahead with the extraction.”

“He is ready?” Tareq asked.

“It’s a little early, but the odds are on our side. We’ve done this before.” He nodded confidently.

“The odds are good, but there are risks we must discuss.” Mr. Hamad moved to sit on the exam table beside us.

“I would prefer that Ahmed had a little more time, but your health will not allow us to wait much longer. I can’t risk your life when there is already a very good chance that we can save his.” Dr. Rammat set the tablet down beside him as if to show that there was a team of consent.

“We will do it. It is time. He need it,” Tareq offered without even looking at me.

“Wait! I…” I struggled to sit up. Tareq helped me, but kept me firmly in his lap between his strong, protective arms to remind me he was the protector. “I have questions. What are the odds? What can go wrong? What are you planning here? I need to know this stuff. It’s my baby.”

“Yes, of course.” Dr. Rammat straightened up. “Your baby is developing nicely. However, he is larger than we normally see and a bit much for your body to handle. This is why we worked so hard to train your body and add more bulk. But the strain on your body has become too great. It is no longer something you can tolerate.”

“But my baby. What will happen? He’s not finished. I’m not ready until he’s ready. I promised I’d keep him safe.” I rubbed my belly to let Ahmed know I would keep my promise.

“We must protect you first, little one. It is the only option to keep you safe. Your body was not meant to carry a child.” Mr. Hamad reached over to put his hand on my leg.

“He will be in the incubator. It simulates his current environment inside you. He will be nearly as protected and cared for as he is now. He’ll even hear your voice through recorded messages and live through the speaker. You’ll be right there next to him. Once he is ready, we can move him to the nursery, a sterile environment where you can interact with him until he is ready to go home. It shouldn’t be too long. There are risks. We won’t know for sure until he is out and can be checked and monitored. But so far he is developing nicely. We all feel that he is most likely to continue developing normally.” He spoke so confidently, but I didn’t know what to do.

“We must do this. It is right. It is time. It is no longer safe for you.” Tareq was ready to take action.

“It is Dylan’s choice,” Dr. Rammat reminded the room.

Tareq put his lips to my ear and whispered, “Please, my love. I cannot live without you. When you are out of danger, I will do everything to make our Ahmed safe. I need you safe or nothing is right. I need you with me.”

“I advise moving forward with this. It is the best way to ensure safety for both of you,” Dr. Rammat said.

“I guess… um… Ok.” I nodded and earned approving smiles from everyone.

“We will plan for the procedure. You are stable and everyone needs rest. We will begin tomorrow after running some final tests. Your room is prepared upstairs. We’ll be monitoring things overnight and give you something to sleep,” Dr. Rammat explained.

---

The summer I turned 13, I became obsessed with sleeping in complete darkness. My mom took me to Target where we got their heaviest blackout curtains. My dad helped me hang them up and then we stood around in my room for a while with my dad turning the lights on and off to test things as we cheered.

I was so excited to try it out, but once I laid down to go to sleep, I discovered disruptions other than the Garcia’s security lights now hidden by the curtains. First, there was a soft blue light on the device charger next to my bed. Even when I closed my eyes, I could still see a blue glow. I grabbed a baseball hat and covered it.

Next, I found a glowing green light from the air purifier my mom had put in every room because, “Tucson is filthy! Do you even know what we’re breathing?” I turned that off because my 13 year old brain thought maybe you don’t breathe when you sleep.

I caught my final nemesis in the form of the smoke detector my dad had installed above my door. It had a red light that blinked on and off every ten seconds. I grabbed the desk chair and a sheet of pokemon stickers my aunt included with my birthday present.

I got up on the chair and peeled off a sticker then tippy-toed up to reach the detector. However, when I pressed the sticker over the blinking light, it let out an ear-piercing screech that sent me flying back on my ass. I knocked over my side table and banged into the wall.

My parents ran into the room and declared my war against the light was officially at its end. My dad removed the sticker and then took the sheet of stickers and any rolls of tape he could find. I had to learn to live with the red blinker.

---

As much as I hated those lights, it was nothing compared to tonight’s blinking lights from the monitor beside the bed. I laid there for the longest time looking over at a screen with lit squiggles until they focused into numbers and then blurred again into squiggles. I didn’t know what they meant, but nothing on the screen looked panic-worthy. Still, it was very much keeping me awake.

“Are you sleeping?” I whispered as Tareq spooned me from behind.

“I do not sleep. My Dylan need sleep. I will stay vigilant. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. I have you, baby.” He kissed the back of my neck and pulled the blanket up to my chin.

“I can’t sleep. What if I made the wrong choice? I think baby Ahmed’s mad at me. He’s not moving much.” I started spinning.

“He is tired. You are tired.” Tareq started talking in a slow whisper while he rubbed the baby bump. “My boys will sleep. I take care of this. I will wake you if there is need. You will sleep.”

He rubbed me gently and started telling me a story or something in Arabic. The soft, steady rumble of his voice helped me finally nod off.

I don’t know how long I slept and I didn’t wake up with fresh memories of a dream. I did wake up to strips of sunlight across the room and the sight of Tareq looking through a bag his father had brought for us. He pulled out a toothbrush and crept towards the bathroom. He left the door open and looked back towards me as I laid still with my eyes on him.

“You are aware?” He whispered across the room.

“Aware of what?” I raised my head a little.

“Awake, I say… I have too tired for English.” He looked like I felt. He made his way towards the bed.

“Me too… everything is ok?” I hugged the pillow.

“They come soon. I help you to restroom and be ready.” He helped me get up and walked me to the restroom. He cleaned me gently and got me ready for the nurse.

“Are we sure about this? He feels so quiet this morning. At least he’s calm,” I said as Tareq helped me into a clean hospital robe.

“We must, my love.” He started to say more, but as I stepped forward, I felt a tiny hand or foot rub inside my belly. It wasn’t his usual kick.

“Wait! Oh dude. He’s like… Feel this.” I put Tareq’s hand on my baby bump. The baby appendage rubbed again in several slow motions.

“My boy pushes. He is waked.” Tareq looked sleepy but interested.

“It’s like a cat scratching at the door to get out,” I told him. I suddenly felt a little wave of nausea.

“He need out. This feel urgent to go. No? We do this now. I don’t want he crawl around inside you.” Tareq looked at me with resolve.

I nodded. Baby Ahmed was trying to tell me something. He was ready.

“Are we ready?” A nurse popped his head in the doorway to our room. He pushed in a wheelchair.

“Yes, please. He is time.” Tareq helped me towards the chair and settled me. They got me down to the operating room where Dr. Rammat was washing up and talking with the team.

Tareq lifted me out of the chair and set me on the table as the team made their preparations. They ran some final scans and I got a last look at Ahmed inside me. He was curled up into a little oblong on the screen and looked like he was sucking his thumb.

“I used to do that,” I noted to Tareq as we watched. “My mom had to put lemon juice on my thumb to get me off it. I won’t do that to him.”

“He looks very good. His heart is strong and calm. He will do fine,” Dr. Rammat assured as he looked over the scans.

“You’re going to feel a little prick,” a nurse told me before sticking something into my arm.

“I can’t look. Just do it.” I inhaled sharply as I felt the little needle.

“You will be the best parent he can need. We almost there, baby. I am so proud of you, my heart. You are so strong, so amazing.” Tareq hovered over me, pushing back my hair as I started to nod off while staring up into his worried eyes.

“It’s ok,” I assured him with a yawn. “It’s ok.”

“Count backwards from…” the nurse started to say, but I quickly fell into oblivion. It was time.