Broken and Faded (SERIE FEROCI 15)
elyjindria · 47 chapters · 17,254 words
Wattpad Originals Announcement
Hi, Elies!
I’m thrilled to share that Broken and Faded (SERIE FEROCI 15) has been chosen for Wattpad Originals! This is a great achievement for me, and it has always been one of my dreams since this program launched. I know all this will never be possible without your love and support.
Serie Feroci was written without much thought and preparation, and I know it always shows. I wasn’t really proud of how I’ve written this series, but I’m always grateful to those who loved and supported this. You all gave me the strength to share this story with the world, even though I still doubt myself. I’m always thankful to all of you who gave this series a chance when I wasn’t confident at all.
I really hope you will respect my decision as this is a great opportunity for me as a writer. Salamat palagi. Salamat sa suporta at pagmamahal sa akin at sa mga kuwento ko.
With all my heart, Elyjindria

Stay tuned for more updates, and in the meantime, you can learn more about Wattpad Originals here:
Wattpad Originals 101 [Filipino]
BLURB
Cherry Ann Silverio has been in love with her friend, Remor Fedorov, for a long time. They have been together ever since they were young and grew up together. But Remor only saw her as a friend and as a sister that he never had… Cherry was always at his side as she watched Remor grow, be successful, fall in love, change himself, and get married to the woman he loves. Even though it was killing her inside, she did her best to be happy for her friend.
But things happened… Remor and his wife separated and filed a divorce. Remor started noticing Cherry not just as a friend… but as a woman. It was like a dream came true for Cherry… but the short dream that she had only left her with a broken heart.
CHAPTER 1
Cherry Ann Silverio
“Cherry ang pangalan mo?” tanong niya habang hawak ang papel na may drawing ko. Nandoon ang pangalan ko.
Hindi maalis ang titig ko sa batang lalaki na nasa harapan ko. Sa tingin ko ay ka-edad ko lang siya. Dapat ay sumisigaw na ako ngayon dahil bigla na lang siyang sumulpot sa bahay. Baka magnanakaw pa siya… pero hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako makaramdam ng takot.
“O-oo…” bulong ko sa mahinang boses.
Tumingin siya sa katawan ko. Napalunok ako at napaiwas ng tingin dahil puro pasa at sugat ang katawan ko.
“Gusto mong sumama sa akin?” tanong niya.
Natigilan ako at napakurap. “S-seryoso ka ba, bata?”
Tumango siya. “Hindi kita sasaktan. Ilalayo kita rito at aalagaan kita.”
“M-magagalit ang pamilya ko…” bulong ko.
Natigilan ako at napatingin sa mga pasa sa katawan ko. Pamilya? Oo nga pala… Hindi ko sila pamilya. Inampon lang nila ako nang pumanaw ang totoo kong mga magulang… pero inampon lang pala nila ako para pagmalupitan at gawing alila nila.
“B-bakit gusto mo akong isama? Ano ang mapapala mo sa akin?” bulong ko. Imposibleng walang kapalit ang kabutihan niya sa akin. “A-ano’ng gusto mong kapalit?” tanong ko pa.
Saglit siyang natahimik. Tumitig siya sa akin… walang emosyon ang mga mata.
“Wala akong kaibigan… Gusto ko ng kaibigan. Iyon lang ang kapalit…”
Napalunok ako. “A-ano’ng pangalan mo?”
Bahagya siyang ngumiti bago sumagot. “Remor.”
Doon nagsimula ang ugnayan naming dalawa. Isinama niya ako sa kaniya. Hindi ko alam kung saan niya ako dadalhin. Hindi naman ako dapat magtiwala sa kaniya… pero hindi ko alam kung ano ang meron sa kaniya at ganoon na lang ako kadali nagtiwala.
Dinala niya ako sa magandang bahay… Kami lang ang tao roon. Tahimik lang akong nagmamasid. Pasimple akong tumitingin sa kaniya na tahimik lang din.
Pakiramdam ko magka-edad lang kami, pero sa aura niya, tila mas matanda siya ng ilang taon sa akin. Napalunok na lang ako at humawak nang mahigpit sa laylayan ng luma at marumi kong damit.
“Nandoon ang magiging kuwarto mo.” Itinuro niya ang malapit na pinto. “Maligo ka at magpalit ng damit. Marami kang damit doon.”
Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi at napakamot sa braso ko. “B-bakit mo ginagawa ’to?” tanong ko ulit, kahit na sinagot na niya iyon kanina.
“Naihanda na ng katulong ang pagkain. Bilisan mong maligo at magbihis para makakain ka na,” sabi na lang niya. Hindi na niya sinagot pa ang tanong ko saka iniwan na ako.
Simula noong araw na iyon, tila nagbago ang buhay ko. Naranasan ko nang kumain ng marami. Naranasan ko ang makapag-aral, ang mamuhay ng parang isang normal na bata… Hindi ko alam kung ano ang meron kay Remor… kung paano niya nagagawa ang lahat ng ito sa murang edad.
Noong una ay hindi kami gaanong nag-uusap, hanggang sa paunti-unti, habang tumatagal, nagiging close din kaming dalawa.
Totoo ang sinabi niya na aalagaan niya ako at hindi sasaktan.
I BECAME dependent on him as time went by. He was too good to me. He was the first person who treated me with warmth and kindness. A strange feeling started blooming in my heart.
I realized I love him… What I felt for him wasn’t a mere friendly love… I was sure.
I discovered what he was doing. I discovered that he kills people and steals riches from them. I discovered how cruel he was… and yet, I still love him. That moment, I knew I was down bad. What I felt for him was deeper than I thought.
I took interior designing because he took civil engineering. He was planning to build his own engineering and architecture firm, and he told me he wanted me to be a part of it. Of course I wanted that too. I wanted to be a part of his life.
And he became my life without him knowing…
I planned to confess my feelings after we graduated… but what he told me stopped me from doing so.
“Cherry, I hope you’ll find a good man. You’re like a sister that I never had. You’re a family to me. Kung may nagugustuhan ka, sabihin mo sa akin para makilala ko,” he said with a smile on his face.
That was when I realized that he only saw me as a sister… that I had no chance from the start.
I continued loving him secretly for the past years. It was hard for me. It was hard suppressing my feelings… my love for him.
Then my nightmare happened… He fell in love with someone… and it was obviously not me, it could never be me.
“Cherry, I really love Elara. But I’m scared… She’s a good woman. She’s righteous and… she’s too good for me. I really want to be with her… I want to change myself for her.”
His words broke my heart… because it really seemed like he loves her so much. I never thought I would see him like this… I never thought I would be able to see him love someone like this.
It broke me… but I tried my best to smile every time he mentioned her. I showed my support, even though it was piercing me in the heart.
When he proposed to Elara… I felt bad… because I was hoping for her to reject him… but she didn’t. She hugged him with tears in her eyes… and said yes.
I clapped with a smile on my face as I congratulated them… but I cried so hard when I got home.
Before they got married, Elara talked to me.
“Cherry… I know you’re like a sister to Remor… but I’m not comfortable with it. I hope you understand. You’re a woman too. I’m sorry for telling you this… M-may mga panahon lang talaga na nakakaramdam ako ng selos kahit alam kong magkaibigan lang naman kayo,” she said and smiled apologetically at me.
I knew what she meant by that… I knew what she was trying to say.
I smiled at her and nodded. “I understand, Elara. Don’t worry, kapatid lang talaga ang turing sa akin ni Remor… Malaki lang din talaga ang utang na loob ko sa kaniya… ’Wag kang mag-alala, iiwas ako kay Remor. Wala akong ibang hiling kundi ang kasiyahan niyong dalawa.”
Ngumiti siya sa akin at humawak sa kamay ko. “Salamat, Cherry… Alam kong hindi ka masamang babae… Alam kong hindi katulad ng iba… kaya mahirap din sa akin ang sabihin ’to. Salamat, Cherry.”
After that, I resigned from Remor’s firm. I distanced myself from him. He never asked me about it… Maybe Elara already talked to him about it.
It was hard adjusting at first. He was with me almost my whole life… but I had no choice. I felt like a newborn baby. Pakiramdam ko kailangan ko na namang magsimula ulit sa umpisa… pero wala akong ibang magagawa kundi ang maging masaya para sa kaniya.
I sighed and stroked my disheveled hair when I remembered those moments again. I just shook my head and drank my coffee. I have no time for this.
I stared at my sketchpad and poked the insides of my cheek with my tongue… I wasn’t satisfied with my draft.
Muli akong napailing at pinilas ang papel saka itinapon iyon sa trash bin.
Ever since I stopped working under Remor’s wing , it felt like I have lost my spark in interior designing too. None of my work has satisfied me these past few months.
Wala na akong balita kay Remor. All I know is that they got married in Los Angeles… It’s been six months since the last time I saw him. Sinasadya kong hindi alamin ang tungkol sa kaniya… ang balita sa kaniya. Wala na lang din akong ibang hinihiling kundi ang masayang pagsasama nila ni Elara.
“Ma’am Cherry…”
I stopped reminiscing when my secretary, Ms. Lala, entered my office. I smiled and put my hair into a messy bun.
“Yes?”
“Mr. Draxon Laurent is looking for you. Shall I let him in?” Ms. Lala asked.
I sighed and nodded.
“Hello there, pretty miss!”
Bago pa papasukin ng secretary ko, basta na lang pumasok si Draxon at lumapit sa akin saka yumakap. Umiling na lang ako at gumanti ng yakap sa kaniya.
Draxon is also a member of the Feroci organization just like Remor. Aside from Remor, he was the only member of Feroci that I was close with.
Hindi ako komportable sa kaniya noong una. Naging close lang naman kami simula noong magpakasal sina Remor at Elara. Hindi naman siya ganoong kasama kagaya ng inaasahan ko.
I have no friends. Si Remor lang ang nag-iisang kaibigan ko, kaya nanibago ako noong tuluyan ko siyang iniwasan. Doon din nagsimula si Draxon na lapitan ako at makipag-close.
He knew about my feelings for Remor. Noong una, natakot pa ako dahil akala ko sasabihin niya iyon kay Remor. Nalasing lang din naman ako kaya ko naamin iyon. Hindi talaga ako nag-iinom, pero naisipan kong pumayag noong yayain ako ni Draxon dahil hindi ko na kaya ang bigat ng nararamdaman ko.
I knew that Draxon was playful and likes teasing people, but I appreciate it that he never teased or made fun of my feelings for Remor.
“Nag-lunch ka na?” tanong niya saka umakbay sa akin.
I smiled shyly at him and shook my head. “Hindi pa… May tinatapos lang.”
“Let’s go. Let’s have lunch together.”
Wala na akong nagawa at nagpatianod na lang nang hilahin niya ako palabas ng office ko. Nakaramdam ako ng hiya dahil napapatingin sa amin ang karamihan, pero tila wala namang pakialam si Draxon doon. Ngumisi pa siya at kumindat sa mga babae.
Napailing na lang ako nang makasakay kami sa kotse niya. Nagpasalamat ako nang ayusin niya ang seatbelt ko.
Draxon sighed while staring at me. “You look like a potato.” He pinched my nose hard.
I gasped and touched my nose. He just chuckled and shook his head.
“You’re a cute potato,” he muttered.
“That’s not a compliment.”
Natawa na lang siya saka pinaandar ang sasakyan niya. Panay ang kuwento niya habang nasa biyahe. Tahimik na nakikinig lang naman ako at paminsan-minsan ay nagkokomento.
Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto nang makarating kami sa restaurant. Humawak siya sa palapulsuhan ko at hinila ako sa loob.
Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito si Draxon sa akin… Boring akong tao. Siya lang palagi ang nagsasalita sa tuwing magkasama kami. Siguradong marami siyang kaibigan kaya hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito siya sa akin.
“So, how’s your day?”
I stopped eating the vegetable salad that I ordered and looked at him. I smiled and shyly scratched my nape. “Well… it’s just another boring day.”
“That’s why you should spend most of your time with me.” He winked at me.
I shook my head and chuckled. “I can’t keep up with your extremities though.”
It’s true. There are times that I really couldn’t get his humor. Hindi rin ako palaging nakakasabay sa mga pakulo niya… kaya hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit kinakaibigan niya pa rin ako.
Pagkatapos naming kumain, hinatid niya ako sa office ko. Hinintay na rin niya ako at inihatid sa condominium na tinutuluyan ko.
“Bye, Cherry pie…” Draxon said and smiled at me.
I smiled at him too. “Thank you for today. Mag-ingat ka sa pag-uwi.”
Mas lalo siyang napangiti. Natigilan pa ako dahil matagal siyang tumitig sa akin. Napahawak pa ako sa pisngi ko dahil baka may dumi roon.
“Sige… Mauna na ako,” sabi ko na lang. Hindi ko na hinintay na pagbuksan niya ako.
Kumaway na lang ako sa kaniya at ngumiti bago pumasok sa building. Napabuga ako ng hangin saka isinukbit ang sling bag ko.
Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung magandang ideya ang pakikipagkaibigan kay Draxon. Palagi kong pinipigil ang sarili ko na magtanong sa kaniya tungkol kay Remor.
I just shook my head and went inside the elevator. I sighed and bit my lower lip… I should stop thinking about Remor. He’s living happily with his wife now. I should just be happy for him.
I gasped the moment I got out of the elevator… I saw a familiar man sitting in front of my door… with a bottle of liquor in his hand.
“R-Remor?” I muttered.
Agad akong lumapit sa kaniya at humawak sa balikat niya. Halos papikit na ang mga mata niya dahil sa kalasingan. Agad na nanginig ang mga kamay ko at napabitiw rin sa kaniya agad.
Ano’ng ginagawa mo, Cherry? Tawagan mo si Elara.
Napailing ako at agad na kinuha ang cellphone ko para tawagan si Elara, pero natigilan na lang ako nang humawak si Remor sa palapulsuhan ko.
“C-Cherry… Please convince her…”
Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya at napalunok… Ang tagal ko ring hindi narinig ang boses niya.
“A-ano?” tanong ko sa nanginginig na boses. “A-ano ba’ng sinasabi mo, Remor?”
Remor gripped my wrist harder. “P-please tell Elara… to forgive me and come back to me. Please convince her to be with me again… I-I can’t live without her, Cherry.”
CHAPTER 2
“A-ano? Divorced na sila?” tila hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko kay Cadence.
Tinawagan ako ni Cadence dahil napag-alaman niyang nandito si Remor sa unit ko. Agad naman siyang pumunta rito para sunduin si Remor.
Cadence nodded and stroked his hair. “Three months na rin noong nag-divorce sila. They went to Los Angeles to file a divorce.”
Napasinghap ako sa sinabi niya. “G-gano’n na katagal?” tanong ko pa.
Tumango si Cadence. “Hindi ba nasabi sa ’yo ni Draxon? Palagi kayong magkasama.”
Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya… Walang nabanggit si Draxon. Baka masyado siyang nag-iingat na mapag-usapan namin si Remor.
“B-bakit sila naghiwalay?” tanong ko saka napalunok.
“I’m not sure if I’m in the position to answer that… but okay… since you’re Remor’s trusted friend.” He looked at Remor and shook his head. “She discovered the Feroci organization. She discovered that Remor killed people. She was not happy about it. She found him disgusting and evil. I couldn’t totally blame her though. Feroci members are not good people to begin with.”
I bit my lower lip and stared at Remor who was sleeping like a log on my couch. He seemed really drunk. Namumula ang mukha niya sa kalasingan. Hindi ko pa yata siya nakitang nalasing nang ganito noon.
“Sige, Cherry. Susunduin ko na ’tong si gago. ’Wag mong kalimutan i-lock ang pinto mo pag-alis ko,” bilin ni Cadence saka nilapitan si Remor.
Hinawakan niya ang braso ni Remor at pinaakbay sa kaniya, pero agad na inalis ni Remor iyon at tinulak pa si Cadence palayo. Napangiwi si Cadence saka inambahan ng sapak si Remor.
“Tangina ng gagong ’to. Siya na nga ang sinusundo!”
I sighed and bit my lower lip. “Cadence… I think I’ll just let him sleep here tonight.”
Cadence looked at me. He seemed worried. “Are you sure? Baka manira lang ’to ng mga gamit mamaya kapag nagising.”
I smiled at him and shook my head. “I’m sure. Gusto ko rin kasi siyang makausap kapag nahimasmasan na siya. Matagal na kaming hindi nakakapag-usap.”
Napahawak si Cadence sa batok niya saka tumango. “Okay. I’ll go ahead then. Just call me if you need something.”
Tumango na lang ako at inihatid siya hanggang sa pinto. Nang makaalis na si Cadence, nilapitan ko si Remor na ngayon ay tulog na tulog pa rin sa couch ko.
Napabuga ako ng hangin at napatitig sa mukha niya. He looked tired… and sad. Seeing him like this hurts me too. Hindi na ako umaasa na mahalin niya ako, ang gusto ko na lang ay sumaya siya… Hindi ko alam na ganito ang nangyari sa kaniya.
I just shook my head and went to my room. I took a small towel and washed it, then went back to Remor. I sat beside him and started wiping his face gently. I could not take my eyes off him. I know I should not be missing him like this. I missed him so much… Alam kong hindi ko dapat siya hinayaang manatili rito, pero hindi ko rin mapigilan.
Mas ayos na sa akin ang makita siyang masaya, kahit sa iba… ’wag lang ang makita siyang ganito kamiserable. Kapag nasasaktan siya… mas nasasaktan ako.
I know some people will think that this is the perfect opportunity to win him over… Some people will surely think I’m a hypocrite for wishing for his happiness instead of wishing to have him… but I should not wish for something like that. Remor took care of me almost my whole life. He treated me like a family. He gave me things I never thought I could ever have. He loved me more than anyone else, not in a way that I wanted, but he still loved me. I wish nothing but happiness for him.
I stared at his lonely face as I gently wiped it. I gulped when he suddenly opened his eyes… My knees weakened when our eyes met.
Remor has always been a work of art for me. His golden brown eyes were still mesmerizing just like the last time I remembered. May namumuong bigote at balbas sa mukha niya, pero hindi iyon nakahadlang sa kagwapuhan niya. His lips were pale too… He really seemed miserable and it pained me even more.
“Cherry… What should I do?” he asked in a weak voice.
I have never seen him this weak before… He was so weak, so hopeless… as if he could no longer see light.
“I-I don’t know what to do. I-I can’t do this… without her. W-what should I do? I-I desperately need to know what to do.”
Tears escaped from his eyes. I bit my lower lip and avoided his gaze to restrain my tears.
“I-I don’t know, Remor.”
He closed his eyes again and cried silently… but for my heart, his cries were so loud that it reached the depth of my being.
I WOKE UP early. Remor was still sleeping like a baby on the couch.
Napailing na lang ako at inayos ang kumot niya. Nagtungo na rin agad ako sa kusina para magluto ng almusal. Iniluto ko ang paboritong fried rice at omelette ni Remor.
Pagkatapos kong maghain, natigilan ako at napatingin kung nasaan si Remor. Napalunok ako nang mapansing bumangon na siya. Napahawak siya sa sentido niya saka napatingin sa direksyon ko.
Agad akong napaiwas ng tingin at tumikhim. Agad siyang tumayo at lumapit sa akin.
“Cherry?”
I looked at him and gave him a faint smile. “You’re awake… Uhm. Eat first. I cooked fried rice and omelette.”
He looked at the table. He sighed and stroked his disheveled hair. He looked at me again. “I’m sorry for bothering you last night, Cherry.”
“It’s okay. Please sit. Kumain ka muna bago ka umalis.”
Nagpasalamat na lang ako sa isip ko dahil hindi niya ako tinanggihan.
Tahimik kaming kumain… Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin. Matagal naman kaming naging magkaibigan at komportable sa isa’t isa noon… pero hindi ko alam kung bakit naiilang na ako ngayon… Siguro dahil matagal din kaming hindi nagkita at nagkausap.
“Kumusta ka?” pagbasag ko sa katahimikan.
Saglit siyang natahimik bago sumagot. “I’m doing good…” tila labas sa ilong na sagot niya.
Napabuntonghininga ako. “I think you no longer consider me as a friend then.”
He sighed and licked his lower lip. He went silent for a moment, as if he was thinking hard whether he would tell me things or not.
“Cherry… I bet you’ve heard everything from Cadence anyway. Whatever he told you, that’s it… Elara and I are no longer together.”
I stared at him. I could see that he was just trying his best to sound tough and unaffected, but he could never trick me with that. I knew him so well. Basang-basa ko ang emosyon niya sa tagal naming magkaibigan.
“Bakit pumayag ka na makipaghiwalay siya sa ’yo? You should have chased her… Dapat sinubukan mo ulit kuhanin ang loob at tiwala niya. The Remor I know doesn’t give up easily,” I said and drank my coffee.
He smiled bitterly and drank his coffee too. “She’s my weakness. The moment she tried to stab herself with a knife… I agreed to filing a divorce. It was a hard decision… but she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. She’s willing to kill herself just to get away from me.”
I looked at him. I could feel the pain and agony in his voice. I just bit my lower lip and played with my fingers. I wanted to comfort him, but I was never good at it ever since. He was the one who had been comforting me for the past years. I never once tried to comfort him back then. Whenever he was down, I would just cook for him, or invite him to watch a movie, or draw together… I never comforted him through words. Right now, it felt like I actually had to say something comforting… but I don’t know what to say.
“By the way…”
Natigilan ako sa malalim na pag-iisip nang magsalita si Remor. Tumingin ako sa kanya at bahagyang ngumiti.
“Yes?” I asked.
“I’m sorry for not reaching out to you for the past months.”
Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Ngumiti na lang ako at umiling. “Ayos lang ’yon. Nakausap din ako ni Elara noon tungkol diyan. Iniwasan din kita dahil hindi na magandang tingnan na masyado tayong close dahil asawa mo siya no’n.”
Hindi na siya nagsalita pa at tumango na lang. Muling natahimik sa pagitan namin. Napakagat ako nang mariin sa ibabang labi ko.
“Thank you, Cherry. I’ll go ahead now. I have bothered you enough…” Remor stood up and fixed his messy hair with his hand.
Tumayo rin ako at tumango. “Ayos lang… Magpahinga ka na lang din muna pag-uwi mo.”
He smiled at me and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”
Hinatid ko na lang siya hanggang sa pintuan. Tumango na lang siya sa akin at marahan akong tinapik sa balikat bago tuluyang umalis. Napabuga na lang ako ng hangin habang hinahabol siya ng tingin hanggang sa makasakay siya ng elevator.
Isinara ko na ang pinto at nagtungo sa sala. Umupo ako sa couch na hinigaan ni Remor at napabuntonghininga. Humawak ako sa balikat ko na tinapik niya kanina… Pakiramdam ko pinaalala na naman sa akin ng tapik na iyon na talagang kaibigan lang ang tingin niya sa akin.
I just shook my head and took my phone. I sighed and looked for Elara’s number on my phonebook. I bit my lower lip and gulped hard before I dialed her number.
After a few rings, she finally answered.
“Hello?” she asked. I guess she deleted my number.
“Hello, Elara… This is Cherry.”
Saglit siyang natahimik sa kabilang linya bago muling nagsalita. “I have no time for this—”
“Gusto lang kita makausap kahit saglit…”
“I’m not in the Philippines right now, Cherry. And besides, I think wala naman dapat tayong pag-usapan… Wala na kami ni Remor. Go ahead and stick to him like a leech. I know you’ve been dying to do that,” sabi ni Elara sa mapaklang boses.
“Elara… H-hindi gano’n. N-nakikiusap lang ako sa ’yo na sana bigyan mo ng pagkakataon si Remor na—”
“Just stop, Cherry. ’Di ba kaibigan ka ni Remor nang matagal na panahon? Imposibleng hindi mo alam ang tungkol sa ginagawa niya. You know that he’s a heartless killer, and yet you didn’t tell me that. Parehas lang kayong pinagmukha akong tanga. Pwede ba? Ayoko na ng ugnayan sa inyo kaya ’wag ka nang tatawag sa akin ulit!”
Wala na akong nagawa nang ibaba na ni Elara ang tawag. Napabuga ako ng hangin at napahilamos sa mukha ko.
Hindi ko na alam sa kung paanong paraan ko pa matutulungan si Remor.
TILA WALA AKO sa sarili buong araw. Hindi maalis si Remor sa isip ko. Masyado akong nag-aalala para sa kaniya. I tried my best to focus on my work, but I could not get Remor off my mind. I’m really worried about him.
“Are you alright, Cherry pie?”
Natigilan ako sa malalim na pag-iisip nang magsalita si Draxon. Sobrang layo ng iniisip ko na tila nakalimutan ko nang nagdi-dinner kaming dalawa ngayon. Halos hindi ko na nagalaw ang pagkain ko.
I just forced a smile and nodded. “I’m alright. Pagod lang siguro.”
Natigilan ako dahil seryosong tumitig sa akin si Draxon. Pakiramdam ko binabasa niya ang nasa isip ko ngayon kaya agad akong napaiwas ng tingin.
“This is about Fedorov, right?” he asked.
Draxon preferred calling Remor by his surname. I think they were not that close.
I sighed. “I-I’m just worried about him.”
“What a damn lucky bastard,” he muttered.
I looked at him, confused. “Huh? Why is he lucky?”
He just cleared his throat and shook his head. “Nothing… By the way, what’s the deal with Fedorov? Why are you so worried about him?”
I stared at my food. “Well… I just don’t like seeing him in pain. I want him to be happy.”
“You should stop worrying about him. Malaki na siya. Kaya na niya ang sarili niya. You should just be worrying about yourself.”
I bit my lower lip and sighed. “How can I do that? You know that Remor gave me a new life. He was a savior to me. He’s the one who motivated me to pursue life… He means a lot to me.”
“Yes, let’s just say that you’re worried about him, you want him to be happy, and you want to help him… but Cherry… he doesn’t need you like that. There’s nothing you can do to actually help him. He only needs his ex-wife.”
Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya… dahil alam kong tama siya. Wala naman talaga akong pwede gawin para makatulong kay Remor…
Natigilan kami nang makarinig ng tila nabasag mula sa hindi kalayuang table. Napasinghap ako at napatayo nang makitang nandoon si Remor. Mukhang nakainom siya. Bahagyang namumula ang mukha niya. Kinwelyuhan niya ang isang lalaki na sa tingin ko ay customer din ng restaurant.
“R-Remor…”
Akmang pupuntahan ko si Remor, pero agad na humawak si Draxon sa kamay ko.
He looked at me with a serious expression. “Let him be. I’ll just call someone to pick him up… Help yourself too, Cherry.”
Napakagat ako nang mariin sa ibabang labi ko at inalis ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin. “S-sorry, Draxon… I-I need to help him.”
Agad kong pinuntahan si Remor. Napasinghap ako nang akmang aambahan niya ng suntok ang lalaking kinukwelyuhan niya, pero agad akong humawak sa braso niya.
“Remor!”
Napatingin siya sa akin. Binitiwan niya ang lalaki at halos padabog pa. Nawalan ng balanse ang lalaki at bumagsak sa sahig. Napalunok ako habang nakikipaglabanan ng titig sa kaniya.
“Elara won’t be happy seeing you like this…” I sighed. “Let’s go…”
Hinawakan ko siya sa kamay at hinila siya paalis ng restaurant. Wala siyang sinabi. Hindi siya nagpumiglas at nagpahila lang sa akin.
Alam kong wala akong maitutulong kay Remor kagaya ng sabi ni Draxon… pero hindi ko mapigilan. Hindi ko kayang pabayaan siya.
CHAPTER 3
I was just silently driving using Remor’s car. I sighed and glanced at him.
“Saan ako dederetso? Sa bahay mo?” tanong ko saka muling ibinaling ang tingin ko sa kalsada.
Saglit siyang natahimik. Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa labas, tila malalim ang iniisip. Hindi ko alam kung nahimasmasan na siya sa pagkalasing niya… Napabuntonghininga na lang ako at dumiretso sa daan papuntang bahay niya.
“Please take me to your unit… I’ll just sleep on your couch. I just… don’t want to sleep at my house tonight…”
Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Doon sa bahay na iyon sila nagsama ni Elara… kaya siguro ayaw niya muna roon dahil maaalala niya lang ang mga naging alaala nila.
“You should control your temper, Remor. Hindi ka dapat basta nananakit…” tila nanenermong sabi ko, iniiwas ang usapan kay Elara para hindi na niya maisip kahit papaano.
“I’m sorry… It’s just… my mind was too clouded,” he muttered.
I sighed. “Ayoko lang maparusahan ka ng Feroci.”
I know about Feroci’s punishment system. Ni minsan, hindi pa naparusahan si Remor doon, pero sa pagkakaalam ko, brutal ang parusa nila sa pagsuway sa rules… Kaya natatakot ako para kay Remor.
Tahimik kami pareho nang makarating sa unit ko. Akmang uupo siya sa couch, pero agad akong humawak sa braso niya.
“Sleep in the guest room. Maayos naman doon at malinis. Hindi ka kasya riyan sa couch,” sabi ko saka itinuro ang pinto sa guest room.
He looked at me. “Okay na sa akin dito sa couch.”
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. “Just do what I say. ’Wag ka nang mahiya. Sige na, doon ka na sa guest room.”
Napabuntonghininga siya saka tumango. “Thank you. Sorry for bothering you like this and—”
“It’s fine, Remor. We’re friends since we were young. Hindi ka naman iba sa akin…” sabi ko na lang saka ngumiti sa kaniya.
He smiled at me too. He smiled at me genuinely. Hindi ko na maalala ang huling beses na ngumiti siya nang ganiyan… kaya nakaramdam ako ng kaunting tuwa sa puso ko.
Alam ko namang hindi ko siya kayang pasayahin kagaya ni Elara. Wala rin naman akong planong palitan si Elara sa puso niya… Ang gusto ko lang ay sumaya siya… at gumaan ang loob niya. Ayoko nang masaktan pa siya.
Matapos kong mag-shower at magbihis, umupo na ako sa kama at kinuha ang phone ko. Bumungad agad sa akin ang mga message ni Draxon.
Draxon: I want to get mad at you, but I couldn’t bring myself to get mad. Wala rin naman akong karapatan. But I’m worried as your friend. You’re too kind for your own good.
Draxon: Please guard your heart. I know you’ve been doing that for years. But please take care of your heart.
I smiled while reading his texts. I appreciate that he cares for me so much.
Me: Thank you, Draxon. I’m sorry about earlier.
Draxon: It’s okay. Magpahinga ka na. Good night.
Me: Good night.
Draxon: I don’t wish that fucking Fedorov a good night though.
Me: Hahaha please don’t be like that to him.
Draxon: He’s your friend, but he’s not my friend.
I just shook my head and put my phone on the bedside table. Humiga na ako saka napatitig sa kisame. Halos si Remor na lang ang laman ng isip ko… Nasa iisang unit lang kami ngayon, pero iniisip ko pa rin siya.
Matagal ko nang tinanggap sa sarili ko na hindi ko magagawang magmahal ng iba… at tinanggap ko na rin sa sarili ko na hindi masusuklian ang pagmamahal ko.
I IMMEDIATELY WENT to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for me and Remor, but I stopped when I saw him cooking in my kitchen. He looked at me when he felt my presence and smiled.
“Hi, good morning,” he greeted, then went back to cooking.
“Yeah… Good morning.” Umupo na lang ako habang hindi maalis ang tingin sa kaniya.
“I’m sorry for barging in your kitchen without asking you first. Nahihiya na rin ako sa abalang dulot ko sa ’yo. I decided to cook breakfast. Para man lang makabawi.”
Napabuntonghininga ako at umiling. “Hindi mo naman kailangang bumawi.”
Natahimik siya sa sinabi ko. Hindi na lang din ako nagsalita at tahimik na pinanood siya sa ginagawa. Napakagat ako nang mariin sa ibabang labi ko at pinaglaruan ang mga daliri ko.
Nang matapos siyang magluto, naghain siya para sa amin.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
He smiled at me and nodded. “Let’s eat.”
We were both silent as we ate. I kept looking at him… He seemed to notice that. Tumingin siya sa akin, tila nagtatanong ang mga mata.
“Do you want to say something?” he asked.
I shook my head and forced a smile. “W-wala… May iniisip lang.”
Tumango siya saka uminom ng tubig. “I have something to say.”
Natigilan ako. “A-ano ’yon?”
“Can I stay here?”
Nasamid ako sa tanong niya. Agad naman niya akong inabutan ng baso. Kinuha ko iyon saka uminom ng tubig. Nang mahimasmasan, tila hindi makapaniwalang tumingin ako sa kaniya.
“S-seryoso ka ba?” tanong ko pa.
“Kung okay lang sa ’yo… Well, I don’t want to stay at my house for the meantime. Ayoko rin munang mag-isa. Well, if I’m here with you, I guess I’ll be able to restrain myself from drinking alcohol… Only if you’re comfortable with it.”
No, Cherry. That’s a bad idea.
“I-I don’t mind. Tumira naman tayo sa iisang bahay ng ilang taon. I don’t see something wrong with you staying here. Gaya ng sabi ko, hindi ka naman iba sa akin. Wala naman ako sa katayuan ko ngayon kung hindi dahil sa ’yo.”
He shook his head. “No, Cherry. You worked hard for it. And besides, you’re a dear friend of mine. I helped you back then because I wanted a friend. But everything you have gained and achieved for the past years is because of your hard work.”
My heart melted with his words. Everyone sees him as a bad and cold-hearted guy, but he’s actually warm-hearted, when it comes to people that he cares for. I know he doesn’t love me the way I want to, but he cares for me.
Kontento na ako roon.
“Fuck… Did you actually let him stay at your place?” Draxon asked in disbelief.
He’s in my office right now. He seemed stressed out because of my decision. I can’t blame him though. Nag-aalala lang din siya para sa akin.
“H-hindi ako makatanggi sa kaniya, Draxon. At isa pa… baka pabayaan niya lang ang sarili niya kung hahayaan ko siya. Nakikinig naman kasi siya sa akin,” sabi ko na lang habang pinaglalaruan sa kamay ko ang lapis.
“Wow. I really wish I could kill Fedorov right now.” He poked the insides of his cheek with his tongue.
“I-I’m sorry, Draxon… Hindi ko talaga siya kayang pabayaan sa ngayon.”
He sighed and nodded. “Okay, fine… But can I stay at your place too? Doon ako sa couch.”
“Hindi pwede, Draxon. Hindi ka magiging komportable roon,” sabi ko na lang saka marahang natawa.
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t laugh at me, Cherry pie.”
“’Wag ka nang mag-alala sa akin. I’ll guard my heart just like you told me.”
“As if you can do that with Fedorov. Marupok ka sa gagong ’yon,” napapailing pa na sabi niya.
Napanguso ako. “Hindi ka pa ba aalis? Wala ka bang ginagawa?”
Napahawak naman siya sa dibdib niya, tila nagdadrama. “Ang sakit mo, Cherry. Pinapaalis mo na ’ko?”
Natawa naman ako. “Baka lang kasi busy ka at may gagawin.”
He sighed and stood up. “You’re right though. I need to go. Just call me if you need something… I’ll go ahead.”
Tumango ako. “Bye. Ingat sa biyahe.”
He smiled at me before he left. I just sighed and went back to work. I did my best to focus on what I was doing.
Natigilan lang ako nang makarinig ng katok sa pinto. Pumasok ang assistant ko na si Ms. Lala.
“Ma’am, may naghahanap sa inyo. He said his name was Remor Fedorov. Should I let him in?”
Muntik na akong malaglag sa swivel chair ko dahil sa tanong niya. “L-let him in.”
Pinapasok na ni Ms. Lala si Remor. Pilit na ngumiti na lang ako nang makita siya, at pilit ko ring pinakalma ang puso ko.
Umalis na rin agad si Ms. Lala at iniwan kami ni Remor.
“B-bakit ka nandito?” tanong ko sa kaniya. Tila hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala.
He looked handsome wearing a simple white fitted shirt and jeans. Mukhang hindi muna siya pumasok sa trabaho ngayong araw.
“I’m here because I want to personally ask you to go back to my firm. Please work for me again, Cherry.”
Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. “B-but… I signed a one-year contract here and—”
“I’ll pay for everything,” agad na sabi niya pa.
“Y-you don’t have to do that. Okay na rin ako rito… Thanks for the offer though. I appreciate it. But I’m fine working here.”
He sighed and stared at me. “Aren’t you really going to at least consider it?” he asked.
“I’m good, Remor. Komportable na ako rito,” sabi ko na lang.
Sa totoo lang, mas productive ako noon sa firm niya… pero hindi magandang ideya kung magtatrabaho ulit ako roon. Hanga na rin ako sa sarili ko dahil nagawa kong tanggihan iyon.
“Okay… You can tell me anytime if you happen to change your mind, hmm?” he said.
I smiled. “Yes. Thank you, Remor.”
I’m just trying my best to guard my heart… even if it’s impossible.
NANG MAKAUWI NA ako, natigilan ako nang mapansing nagluluto si Remor. Napatingin siya sa akin nang maramdaman ang presensya ko. Ngumiti siya sa akin.
“Hi,” he greeted. “I cooked dinner for us.”
Lumapit ako sa kaniya. “Dapat hindi ka na nag-abala.”
“It’s fine. Please sit.”
Umupo na lang din ako at hinayaan siya. Napatingin na lang ako sa kaniya habang naghahain siya… Ayoko na lang din siyang kontrahin sa mga ginagawa niya… Siguro sinusubukan niya na lang din i-distract ang sarili sa pag-iisip kay Elara.
“Ano’ng ginawa mo ngayong araw?” tanong ko na lang.
“I just took my things from my house and brought them here…” sagot naman niya.
Napatango na lang ako at hindi na nagsalita pa.
Pagkatapos naming kumain, dumeretso na rin ako sa kuwarto ko para mag-shower at magpalit ng pantulog. Lumabas din ako ng kuwarto pagkatapos para sana kumustahin si Remor, pero natigilan ako nang makitang nanonood siya ng TV sa living room.
Lumapit ako sa kaniya saka umupo sa tabi niya. Tumingin siya sa akin saka bahagyang ngumiti.
I smiled when I saw what he was watching. Grey’s Anatomy. Paborito talaga namin iyon panoorin.
“Remor…”
Natigilan siya at napatingin sa akin. “Hmm?”
I sighed. “You know I’m not good with words… I want to comfort you with words, but I was never good at it… I wish nothing but happiness for you… I want to help you. I want you to be happy. Alam ko namang wala talaga akong maitutulong sa problema mo… but I can talk to Elara for you and—”
“You don’t have to, Cherry… Thank you. You already helped me a lot,” he said and smiled at me. “I’m okay… I’m trying… It’s not your obligation to help me… but you still helped me in a lot of ways. Thank you. I appreciate it, really.”
I did not say anything after that. We just continued watching… but when I looked at him again, I stopped when I noticed that he fell asleep.
I stared at his peaceful sleeping face… I fought the urge to stroke his hair and his cheek. I bit my lower lip and looked away.
“Elara…”
I froze when I heard his voice. I looked at him again. Nakakunot ang noo niya, tila ba nananaginip.
“E-Elara…” he muttered once again.
I could feel the pain and longing in his voice. Pakiramdam ko para akong dinudurog… para akong paulit-ulit na sinasampal ng katotohanan.
Maybe he was right… Siguro nga natutulungan ko siya… Pero hinding-hindi ko kayang pagaanin ang loob niya… Hindi ko kayang alisin ang sakit na nararamdaman niya…
Si Elara lang ang kayang gumawa n’on… Si Elara lang ang kailangan niya.
CHAPTER 4
“Is there a problem?”
Napatigil ako sa malalim na pag-iisip nang magsalita si Draxon. I forced a smile and shook my head.
“Wala naman… Pagod lang,” tipid na sabi ko saka muling ibinaling ang tingin ko sa sketch pad.
“You’re the quiet type, but you’re the easiest one to read. Don’t try to fool me, Cherry pie,” he said in a serious tone.
I sighed and looked at him. “I’m okay, Draxon. Don’t worry about me.”
He leaned back. His eyes narrowed while staring at me. “How can I not worry? Parang wala ka sa sarili kanina pa.”
Napailing ako. “Don’t worry about me, please. Bumalik ka na lang din sa trabaho mo, hmm? I’m fine.”
He seemed hesitant to leave, but he just sighed and nodded. “Okay. Just call me if you need anything…”
I forced a smile and nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”
Kahit mukhang ayaw pang umalis, iniwan na rin ako ni Draxon sa opisina ko. Napabuga ako ng hangin at napapikit nang mariin.
Hindi mawala sa isip ko ang nangyari noong nakaraang gabi. I could not forget how Remor called Elara’s name… I know he loves her so much… but witnessing it still hurts me.
I shook my head and bit my lower lip… I should just be supporting him with all I can… Wala rin naman akong karapatan na masaktan nang ganito.
Halos buong araw sa trabaho, si Remor ang tumatakbo sa isip ko. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ba ako mapapagod sa ganito… Kailan ba ako mapapagod kay Remor? Kailan ba ako titigil na mahalin siya? Hindi ko na rin alam kung posible pa bang dumating ang araw na iyon.
Pagsapit ng gabi, si Draxon ang bumungad sa akin paglabas ko ng building. Ngumiti siya sa akin at lumapit saka umakbay.
“Let’s eat together, Cherry pie. I will cook for you tonight,” he said and winked at me.
I chuckled. “You don’t have to.”
“Come on. You seem so down earlier. Let me cook for you. Do you know that—”
Agad kong pinutol ang sasabihin niya. “Yes, I know. You’re a great chef.”
He chuckled and opened the car door for me. “Alam mo naman pala, e.”
Napangiti na lang ako at sumakay rin. Siguro nga sasama na lang din muna ako kay Draxon… para pag-uwi ko, hindi ko maabutang gising pa si Remor.
Draxon brought me to one of his restaurants. Tahimik na nakaupo lang ako habang personal siyang nagluluto para sa akin. Swerte na yata ako dahil sikat na chef si Draxon, at isa pa, talagang masarap siyang magluto.
Nang matapos siyang magluto, naghain na ang waiter para sa amin.
Tahimik na kumain na lang ako. Maraming kinukuwento si Draxon. Pinilit ko na lang din ang sarili ko na magkomento sa mga kuwento niya dahil ayokong mahalata niya na wala ako sa mood.
Nang matapos kaming kumain, hinatid niya rin ako sa condo na tinutuluyan ko.
“Thank you for the food, Draxon. I appreciate it a lot.” I smiled at him.
He smiled at me too and nodded. “You’re always welcome, Cherry pie.”
Ngumiti na lang ako at nagpaalam sa kanya bago pumasok sa building. Napabuga ako ng hangin at tumingin sa relo ko. 10 pm na pala. Sana tulog na si Remor… o kaya naman sana ay wala siya roon.
Natigilan ako nang bumungad sa akin si Remor na nagbabasa ng libro sa couch nang makapasok ako sa unit.
He looked at me. He’s wearing comfortable clothes and specs. Inalis niya ang salamin sa mata saka ngumiti sa akin.
“Hi, how’s your day?” he asked.
I forced a smile and scratched my nape. “Uhm… Good.”
He nodded. “Hmm… That’s good.”
Hindi na ako nagsalita pa at akmang dederetso na sa kuwarto ko, pero natigilan ako nang magsalita siya.
“Are you dating Draxon?” he suddenly asked.
Tila nasamid ako sa sarili kong laway sa sinabi niya. I looked at him. I couldn’t read what he was thinking. Wala naman siyang ibang reaksyon. Hindi rin naman ako dapat mag-expect ng reaksyon mula sa kanya.
“We’re just friends,” tipid na sagot ko na lang.
“Draxon doesn’t see women as friends, Cherry. I will support you with your love life, but you shouldn’t date a Feroci member. They’re all assholes,” he said and shook his head. “I know a lot of good guys from my firm. I will introduce you to one of them if you want.”
My forehead creased, not because I’m mad… but because what he said hurts me. I gulped and bit my lower lip hard… I shouldn’t be hurting… I shouldn’t be, but I couldn’t help it.
“No, thanks… I’m not desperate for that. Please ’wag mo ’kong pangunahan, Remor… Sige, magpapahinga na ako.”
Halatang natigilan siya sa sinabi ko, pero hindi ko na siya hinintay na makapagsalita at agad na nagtungo sa silid ko.
Nanghihinang umupo ako sa kama at ibinagsak ang bag ko sa sahig. Hindi ko inasahan na magagawa kong magsalita nang ganoon kay Remor…
Masyado siguro akong naapektuhan. Hearing him say that he’ll introduce me to a good guy hurts me more than the fact that he could never love me back.
I WOKE UP with a heavy feeling in my heart. Naghanda na lang ako para umalis, kahit wala naman akong trabaho ngayon. Hindi ko muna gustong makita si Remor.
Napailing ako at lumabas na ng silid ko, pero natigilan ako nang si Remor ang bumungad sa akin.
“Cherry…”
I forced a smile at him. “Y-yes? Do you need something?” I did my best to sound casual, but I failed.
He sighed and touched his nape. “I’m sorry about what I said last night. I was insensitive… I’m really sorry.”
I smiled and shook my head. “It’s okay. Masyado rin akong sensitive kagabi. I’m sorry too.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t have to apologize. You did nothing wrong… I’m sorry. I won’t say such things again.”
“It’s okay, really…” I chuckled awkwardly. “Uhm, by the way, I have to go somewhere… I’ll go ahead now.”
“Saan? Ihahatid na kita,” sabi niya saka ngumiti sa akin.
Pinigil kong mapabuga ng hangin at mapaiwas ng tingin sa kaniya. I didn’t know how he managed to do that… I didn’t know how he managed to make my heart melt with just a smile.
I shook my head. “Hindi na. I can manage.”
“Where are you going though? It’s your day-off today, right?” he asked.
Natigilan ako. Hindi ko alam na alam niya ang tungkol doon.
I awkwardly laughed. “Uhm… I’m just planning to unwind and have fun?” sabi ko sa patanong na tono.
“I’ll come with you. I’m bored anyway,” he said and smiled at me.
My lips parted. “W-wala ka bang trabaho?”
“I’m taking a break from work. I’m not in the condition to work these past few months.”
I scratched my nape and chuckled nervously. “Uhm… Why don’t you unwind and have fun by yourself too?”
He chuckled. “It’s no fun. And besides, we used to have fun together.”
I touched my arm. I doubt that. I’m the boring type. Maraming nagsabi na hindi nila ako matagalang kasama. Sa tuwing magkasama kami noon, iyon ang palagi kong naiisip.
“Stop thinking too much… Let’s go.”
Natigilan na lang ako nang humawak sa palapulsuhan ko saka hinila ako. Wala naman akong nagawa at nagpatianod na lang sa kaniya… Napabuga ako ng hangin. Plano kong iwasan siya buong araw.
Mukhang bothered pa rin siya sa nasabi niya sa akin kagabi. Remor might be ruthless to some people, but he easily felt guilty about things. Mabilis siyang makonsensya… Kaya noong nalaman ko ang tungkol sa buhay niya sa Feroci, nagulat talaga ako.
Noong mga bata kami, may pangyayari na nasira niya ang laruang Barbie ko dahil curious siya… Matagal siyang nakonsensya roon kahit pa pinalitan na niya iyon ng maraming Barbie.
“Where do you plan to go? We’ll go there,” Remor said as he was driving.
I bit my lower lip and sighed. “W-well… I was just planning to do boring stuff… Draw nature or something,” I muttered.
I brought a sketch pad in my bag. Iyon na lang ang nakikita kong paraan para maalis sa isip ko si Remor… pero heto siya at sumama pa sa akin.
“It’s not boring though… If you enjoy doing it, then it’s not boring,” he chuckled.
Hindi ako nagsalita. Hindi ko na rin alam ang sasabihin. Tumingin na lang ako sa bintana at pinanood ang mga nadadaanan naming gusali.
Ilang saglit pa, dinala niya kami sa park na madalas naming puntahan noon kapag gusto kong mag-drawing ng scenery. Hindi ko alam ang dapat kong maramdaman… Ang alam ko lang, hindi nakakatulong ito.
I don’t want to fall for him harder… But he’s doing this. He’s making me fall for him again and again… And it’s making me feel more miserable and hopeless because he will never love me back.
I just shook my head and bit my lower lip. I looked at his back. Nauuna siyang maglakad sa akin… Napalingon siya sa akin nang mapansing naiiwan ako. Sumabay siya ng lakad sa akin.
“You know what… Every time you come here to paint and I tag along with you, I’m really having a great time. I never found it boring… Being here always soothes my mind. This place is relaxing and comforting. This place is better than drinking every night like a fucking idiot…”
Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya… Gusto kong magsalita at may sabihin, pero hindi ko talaga alam ang dapat sabihin sa mga ganitong sitwasyon.
“I know you’re also bothered by the fact that you’re not good with words, Cherry… It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. You can just listen. I don’t mind.”
Mas lalo akong natahimik sa sinabi niya. He knows me so well… Mukhang tama nga talaga si Draxon na madali akong basahin.
Umupo na ako sa bench na madalas kong pwestuhan.
“Go ahead and draw. I will just sit there and sleep,” sabi niya saka itinuro ang puwesto sa ilalim ng puno mula sa hindi kalayuan.
Lumayo na siya at nagtungo roon saka umupo. He crossed his arms and leaned his back on the tree. Napatitig siya sa paligid, tila ina-appreciate niya rin ang maganda at payapang paligid.
I found him beautiful at that moment… He was always beautiful to me. He was always dazzling, to the point that I was always blinded.
Natagpuan ko na lang ang sarili ko na iginuguhit siya. Habang nakatitig ako sa kaniya… nakikita ko ang lungkot sa mga mata niya.
He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. The urge to sit beside him and let him sleep on my shoulder was strong… I want him to rely on me. I want him to need me. I want to be of help to him… I want a lot of things that I shouldn’t be wanting in the first place.
I’m just so hopelessly in love with him… and it hurts me. It was agonizing… It was torturous.
He opened his eyes the moment I was done drawing him. I gasped when he looked at me and stood up. Agad kong binuklat ang sketchpad ko para maitago ang drawing ko nang maglakad siya palapit sa akin. Umupo siya sa tabi ko saka sumilip sa sketchpad ko.
“What are you draw—oh. Wala pa?” tanong niya sa akin.
I smiled awkwardly. “W-well… I got too caught up in appreciating the scenery. Ngayon pa lang ako magdo-drawing,” sabi ko na lang saka nagsimula nang gumuhit.
Natahimik naman siya sa tabi ko at pinanood lang ang ginagawa ko. Pilit ko na lang pinakalma ang sarili ko.
“Cherry… I know you’re not the type of person who likes to share what’s on your mind… But I can feel that you’re having a hard time about something.”
Natigilan ako sa pagguhit dahil sa sinabi niya. Napatingin ako sa kaniya na ngayon ay nakatingin din sa akin.
“You can tell me your burden. I will help you with the best I can… Don’t keep it up to yourself… If I can do something about it, I will surely help you… You’re my friend.”
Napalunok ako at tila sinampal ng katotohanan sa huling sinabi niya.
He smiled at me and gently stroked my hair. “I don’t like seeing you in pain. I don’t like you getting hurt… because you’re an important friend to me.”
I just forced a smile and nodded.
Remor really likes slapping me in the face with the reality that he only sees me as a friend… and that he will never love me the way I love him.
CHAPTER 5
I realized that all I can do for him… is to be a good friend.
Iyon ang katotohanang matagal ko nang alam… matagal ko nang tanggap… pero masakit pa rin pala sa tuwing maiisip ko na hanggang doon lang ako para sa kaniya.
“Cherry pie… You actually need to date someone… as in right now.”
I blinked and looked at Draxon with disbelief. “W-what? Why?”
He sighed and shook his head. “Because you’re a hopeless case. The only way for you to distract yourself from thinking about Remor is to actually date someone.”
Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. “Wala sa isip ko ang bagay na iyon, Draxon. Isa pa, ayoko rin ng ganoon. I don’t want to use people just to forget Remor.”
He smiled at me. “But what if he’s a willing victim? Like… he knows he’s just a rebound and he just wants to help you.”
I chuckled shyly. “That’s impossible.”
He stared at me and smiled. “Not really… I mean, I’m here.”
I shook my head. “Draxon, I know you’re a womanizer, and—”
“Cherry pie… It’s not what you think. Just think of it as a purposive date. Our only purpose for this is to distract you from thinking about Remor. I’m a willing victim here…”
My eyes narrowed. “I may look like a pushover, but don’t try to manipulate me with your words, Draxon.”
He laughed and stared at me as if he found me amusing. “I know you’re not a pushover, Cherry pie. You’re just quite stupid when it comes to Remor… But well, most people say love makes us fools.”
Hindi ako nakapagsalita sa sinabi niya… dahil para akong sinampal doon. Hindi ko magawang manlaban sa sinabi niya o depensahan ang sarili ko dahil totoong tanga ako pagdating kay Remor… I’m aware of that.
“Cherry pie… I really really want to help you get over him. Sa totoo lang, hindi pa nakakatulong na nandoon siya sa unit mo,” napapailing na sabi niya.
I sighed and smiled at him. “I appreciate your concern… But trust me. I will try my best to guard my heart. Wala rin naman akong chance sa kaniya in the first place… I can’t kick him out of my unit, Draxon. He needs company right now. I know… I know I can’t help him in any way. I’m aware of that… but I want to at least distract him. I’m not doing this because I’m hoping that he’ll see me in a different light… I just want to help him. That’s it.”
He shook his head. “Yeah, I know. Good luck with that little, miss good samaritan,” he said in a sarcastic tone.
I just smiled at him and didn’t say anything after that. I understand Draxon. Concerned lang din siya sa akin… pero hindi talaga ako komportable sa gusto niyang mangyari. Ayoko ng ganoon… na parang gagamitin ko siya para lang ma-distract ako sa pag-iisip kay Remor… Draxon is a good friend of mine.
When I got home, I saw Remor watching a movie. I stared at him… Tila hindi niya naramdamang dumating ako dahil tila wala siya sa sarili na nakatitig sa TV. Mukhang hindi niya rin nga naiintindihan ang pinapanood at tila walang buhay na nakatitig lang doon.
Napatitig ako sa kaniya nang matagal… His eyes were so sad, it hurt me too. He misses her… I can feel it.
He looked at me when he realized I was here. He smiled and stood up. “Hi, Cherry Ann… How’s your day?”
I forced a smile and touched my nape. “Okay lang naman… Ikaw? Ano’ng pinagkaabalahan mo ngayon?”
He chuckled. “Well, I went to the gym earlier, then I watched movies…”
Tumingin ako sa TV. Natigilan ako nang mapansing nanonood siya ng Asian dramas. Nakuwento niya sa akin noon na gusto ni Elara na manood ng mga ganoon.
Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa TV at tipid na ngumiti sa kaniya.
“Uhm… Kumain ka na ba? Magluluto ako kung hindi pa,” sabi ko na lang saka inilapag ang handbag ko sa couch.
“No, I haven’t eaten yet. I already cooked dinner for us though. I just waited for you so that we can eat together,” sabi na lang niya saka nagtungo sa kusina.
“I’ll wash up first,” I said then went to my room.
I touched my chest and let out a heavy breath. My heart is always confused when Remor is around. He can easily make me feel miserable, he can easily make me feel sad… and he can also easily make me feel happy and treasured.
I just sighed and went out of my room after taking a quick shower. I went straight to the kitchen and I saw Remor waiting for me there. He smiled at me and pointed to the seat in front of him.
“Thank you, Remor. Pero next time, hindi mo na kailangang magluto,” sabi ko na lang.
Natigilan siya at napatingin sa akin. Ngumiti siya saka napailing. “It’s fine… I’m sorry that it’s not as good as Draxon’s dishes though,” he said jokingly.
“Masarap ka rin namang magluto… mas masarap nga lang magluto si Draxon,” pabirong sabi ko na lang din.
He chuckled. “You’re right. He uses it as a charm to attract women… Be careful.”
“I won’t fall for that though,” I muttered and forced a smile.
Inilapag niya ang kutsara saka seryosong tumingin sa akin. “I’m really curious though… Please don’t be offended… I mean, you’re a good woman, you’re very likeable, and I’m sure there’s a lot of men out there who asked you out… Why are you still single?” he suddenly asked.
I bit my lower lip and cleared my throat. “Uhm… Well, I don’t know. I’m just… not interested.”
I couldn’t possibly tell him that he was the reason.
“Hmm… Is that so? It seems like you have a pretty high standard. That’s good. You shouldn’t settle for less. You deserve a perfect guy. Well, no one’s perfect, but he should be at least an almost perfect one.”
Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. Tipid na ngumiti na lang ako at tumitig sa kaniya. He said it in a harmless manner… but it did hurt me… Maybe because hearing him say that did not make me feel good at all. It just made me realize my place in his heart.
“Wala pa sa plano ko iyan, Remor,” sabi ko na lang saka uminom ng tubig.
“Yeah, I know… but if you happen to meet a good guy, please let me meet him. I want to know if he really deserves you,” he said and smiled at me.
I smiled faintly and nodded. “Yes… Sure.”
Ni hindi ko alam kung darating pa ang araw na iyon… na may mamahalin akong iba.
MASYADO AKONG busy noong mga nagdaang araw. Hindi ko alam, pero ayos na rin iyon dahil wala na akong time na isipin pa si Remor. Pero paminsan-minsan, hindi maiwasang sumagi siya sa isip ko.
Sa tuwing umuuwi ako, tulog na siya o kaya naman wala na sa unit. May trabaho rin kasi siya sa Feroci kung minsan.
Napabuga ako ng hangin nang makarating ako sa unit. Kagaya ng mga nagdaang gabi, inaasahan kong tulog na si Remor o kaya naman wala sa unit, pero natigilan ako nang makitang nakaupo siya sa couch habang nagbabasa ng libro.
He looked at me and smiled. He removed his specs and stood up. “Hi, Cherry Ann. Ngayon na lang ulit kita naabutan.”
I gulped and tried to calm my raging heart. I forced a smile at him. “Hello… How’s your day?” I asked.
“Well, boring…” he chuckled.
I smiled. “Gusto ko sanang samahan ka manood ng movie or maglibang, kaso medyo pagod ako ngayon. Medyo masakit din ang likod ko…” sabi ko na lang saka napangiwi.
“Is that so? Do you want me to give you a back massage?” he asked.
I gulped and stared at him. He was looking at me with concern in his eyes. Alam kong wala naman iyong malisya sa kaniya o ano man… Pero iba ang dating n’on sa akin.
“Uhm… H-hindi na. Magpapa-massage na lang ako bukas sa—”
“It’s fine, Cherry. You used to give me a massage back then… Come here.”
I gasped when he suddenly held my wrist and made me sit on the couch. Wala naman akong nagawa at hinayaan siya. Napalunok na lang ako nang humawak siya sa balikat ko habang nasa likuran ko siya. Marahan niyang minasahe iyon. Napabuga ako ng hangin at hinayaan na lang siya… Hindi rin naman ayos kung palagi ko siyang iiwasan dahil baka mahalata niya rin.
“I’m sorry, I’m not good at this,” he chuckled.
Tipid na ngumiti na lang ako at hindi na nagsalita pa. Nang matapos siya, humarap ako sa kaniya at muling ngumiti. Humawak pa ako sa balikat ko.
“Salamat, Remor.”
He smiled at me and nodded. “I want to help you in the best way I can… just like what you’re doing for me. ’Wag kang mahihiyang magsabi sa akin kung may kailangan ka.”
Napatitig ako sa kaniya. Hindi ko alam kung paano pa ako makakaahon… Noong nagpakasal sila ni Elara, akala ko pagkakataon ko na para maalis siya sa sistema ko, kahit paunti-unti… pero ito na naman siya… Mas lalo lang lumalakas ang epekto niya sa akin.
“Why are you staring at me like that? Do you want to say something?” he asked.
I cleared my throat and shook my head. “Uhm, nothing… I’ll go to my room now.”
Hindi ko na siya hinintay na makasagot, agad na rin akong tumayo at dumeretso sa kuwarto ko. Napabuga ako ng hangin at umupo sa kama… Hindi ko alam kung paano ko napigilan ang sarili ko na yakapin siya kanina.
Nag-shower na lang ako at nagpalit ng komportableng damit. Paglabas ko ng silid ko, wala na si Remor sa living room. Mukhang natulog na siya o kaya naman umalis.
Dumeretso na lang ako sa kusina at binuksan ang fridge para uminom ng tubig, pero natigilan ako nang mapansing may canned beers doon.
Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko at kumuha ng tatlo. Siguro kay Remor ang mga ito.
I went to the living room and sat on the couch. I opened one can and inhaled the scent of it. Napangiwi pa ako nang hindi ko magustuhan ang amoy.
I don’t drink. Hindi pa ako nakatikim ng alak sa buong buhay ko. I don’t know… Maybe I was just too scared to try before.
I don’t know what has gotten into me. Gusto ko lang subukan… Madalas kong naririnig na nakakatulong daw ang alak malimutan ang problema.
Napailing ako saka ininom. Napangiwi ako sa sama ng lasa n’on. Napabuga ako ng hangin at umiling… Siguro sa una lang ito.
Uminom pa ulit ako… at uminom ulit… hanggang sa naubos ko na pala ang tatlong can.
Napahawak ako sa sentido ko. Nahihilo na ako. Tila umiikot na rin ang lahat sa paligid ko. Napangiti na lang ako at marahang tumawa… Ganito ba ang epekto ng alak? Para akong nawawala sa sarili.
Napailing na lang ako at tumayo. Muntik pa akong nawalan ng balanse. Kahit hindi na makalakad nang deretso, naglakad ako patungong kusina. Akala ko matutumba na talaga ako, pero natigilan na lang ako nang may humawak sa braso ko.
“Cherry? Are you drunk?”
I looked up when I heard that familiar voice. I saw Remor staring at me… He seemed concerned.
“You should have told me that you’re going to drink. Sana nasamahan kita. Hindi ka pa naman nag-iinom…” tila nanenermon pang sabi niya.
Hindi ko magawang maintindihan ang mga sinasabi niya ngayon. Hindi maalis ang tingin ko sa mga mata niya… na para akong nilulunod. Napalunok ako at bumaba ang tingin sa mga labi niya.
Tila wala sa sariling napangiti na lang ako at humawak sa magkabilang pisngi niya. Halatang natigilan siya nang siilin ko ng halik ang labi niya.
Agad siyang humawak sa magkabilang balikat ko at hinila ako palayo sa kaniya.
“Cherry… Stop it. You’re drunk,” mariing sinabi niya.
Napailing ako saka matiim na tumitig sa kaniya. Muli akong humawak sa magkabilang pisngi niya at tumingkayad. Yumakap ako sa batok niya saka muli siyang siniil ng halik sa labi… hanggang sa tuluyan akong nawalan ng malay.
CHAPTER 6
I had a very bad dream… It was an embarrassing moment. It was the worst… and I would have probably died out of embarrassment if it was real.
Talagang masakit ang ulo ko nang magising ako. Napabuga ako ng hangin at agad na naligo, baka sakaling mabawasan ang sakit ng ulo ko at gumaan ang pakiramdam ko.
Natigilan ako at napatitig sa malaking salamin sa bathroom. Napahawak ako sa labi ko nang maalala ang panaginip kong iyon… It was too vivid in my mind that it seemed real.
I froze when I realized something… I gasped and covered my mouth with my palm.
What if it wasn’t a dream?
Nagmamadaling lumabas ako ng bathroom saka nagbihis. Lumabas din agad ako ng kuwarto ko… Naabutan ko si Remor na naghahain ng pagkain. Napalunok ako at agad na lumapit sa kaniya.
“G-good morning,” I greeted him.
I stared at his face and observed his reaction. He looked at me and smiled.
“Hey, Cherry… Good morning. Come, eat breakfast with me.”
Tila nakahinga ako nang maluwag. Mukhang wala naman talagang ganoong nangyari. Buti na lang… Hindi ko alam kung magagawa ko pa siyang harapin kung sakali.
Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko at tahimik na umupo… Ngayon lang ako nanaginip ng ganoon tungkol kay Remor. Hindi ko magawang tumingin sa kaniya dahil naaalala ko ang panaginip na iyon… kung saan hinalikan ko siya sa labi.
“I’m sure you’re having a hangover right now. This soup will help you with that,” sabi ni Remor saka inabutan ako ng mangkok na may lamang soup.
Ngumiti ako sa kaniya. “S-salamat… Pasensya na pala. W-wala naman siguro akong nagawang mali kagabi, ’di ba?” tanong ko pa.
“Wala. Naabutan lang kita na bagsak na sa couch. I’m sorry. I brought you to your room last night because you seemed uncomfortable on the couch.”
Mas lalo akong nakahinga nang maluwag. Tila nakumpirma na sa isip ko na talagang panaginip lang ang naaalala kong paghalik sa kaniya.
“I-I’m sorry, Remor. Hindi ko na lang din alam kung ano’ng pumasok sa isip ko at nag-inom ako,” sabi ko na lang saka napakamot sa batok ko.
He chuckled. “It’s fine. You should really try that once in a while… How was it by the way?”
Marahang natawa ako. “Well… It doesn’t taste good at all.”
“But you drank all three cans by yourself,” tila nang-aasar pang sabi niya.
I just chuckled and shook my head. We just continued eating after that. Paminsan-minsan ay napapatingin ako sa kaniya… Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi pa rin ako mapakali. Bakit kasi nanaginip pa ako ng ganoon?
“I think you should rest first. Baka hindi ka rin makapagtrabaho nang maayos dahil sa hangover,” sabi ni Remor habang nililigpit ang mga pinagkainan namin.
“I’m fine… Don’t worry about me. Kailangan kong bumalik sa trabaho…”
Hindi rin magandang ideya na manatili ako rito sa bahay na kasama si Remor.
Hindi ko alam kung paano ko na-survive ang oras na kasama siya. Hindi mawala sa isip ko ang panaginip ko. I suddenly feel like a sexually frustrated teenager.
I tried my best to focus at work… but my head was killing me. Mukhang tama nga talaga si Remor. Dapat nagpahinga na lang ako sa bahay. Wala rin akong nagawang maayos na trabaho.
Umuwi na rin ako agad pagsapit ng tanghali dahil hindi ko na rin kaya. Nag-text na lang din ako kay Draxon na ’wag siyang magpunta dahil umuwi na ako.
Pagdating ko sa bahay, naabutan ko si Remor na nasa kusina. Natigilan naman siya nang makita ako at agad na lumapit sa akin.
“I knew it… I told you earlier to just take a rest,” tila nanenermong sabi niya.
I smiled faintly and massaged my temple. “Yeah, I know. I should have listened to you… I’ll just go to my room and take a rest. Just do your thing.”
I didn’t wait for him to respond and immediately went to my room. Pinilit ko na lang magpalit ng damit. Agad na rin akong humiga sa kama pagkatapos saka napahawak sa noo ko.
Natigilan ako nang makarinig ng katok sa pinto. Alam ko kaagad na si Remor iyon.
“Come in,” I said and closed my eyes.
Pumasok naman si Remor. May dala siyang tray na may soup, tubig, at gamot. Lumapit siya sa akin saka inilapag sa bedside table ang tray.
“I guess drinking is not for you, Cherry…” he chuckled.
I looked at him and nodded. “I think so too. Ayoko na yatang umulit,” natatawang sabi ko na lang.
Inalalayan niya akong umupo. Inabot niya sa akin ang mangkok. Ayoko sanang kumain, kaso nag-effort na siyang dalhan ako kaya wala na rin akong nagawa.
Talagang hinintay niyang maubos ko ang soup saka niya ako inabutan ng tubig at gamot. Ngumiti ako sa kaniya at nagpasalamat saka ininom iyon.
“Get some sleep,” sabi na lang ni Remor at bahagyang ngumiti sa akin.
Kinuha na niya ang dalang tray saka lumabas ng kuwarto ko. I just stared at the ceiling and thought hard… Remor was always like this. He has cared for me a lot ever since we were kids. Kahit na paulit-ulit kong ipinasok sa isip ko na hindi ko dapat bigyan ng kahulugan iyon, hindi ko pa rin mapigilan.
MAGAAN NA NANG kaunti ang pakiramdam ko nang magising. Agad akong bumangon at humawak sa sentido ko.
Lumabas ako ng silid ko. Naabutan ko si Remor na nagpu-push up. Natigilan naman siya nang makita ako at agad na tumayo. Wala siyang damit pang-itaas. Nakasabit ang t-shirt niya sa balikat niya.
Napaiwas ako ng tingin at naiilang na ngumiti saka humawak sa batok ko.
“How are you feeling now?” he asked.
He wore his shirt and wiped his nape with a towel. I looked at him and smiled.
“Okay na ako… Salamat.”
Tumango siya saka ngumiti sa akin. “That’s good. By the way, I’ll just take a quick shower.”
Tumango na lang ako at hindi na nagsalita. Pumasok na siya sa kuwarto niya para mag-shower. Umupo naman ako sa couch saka pinakiramdaman ang sarili ko… Medyo okay na ang pakiramdam ko.
Isinandal ko ang likod sa backrest ng couch saka pumikit. Ilang minuto rin akong nanatiling ganoon.
Natigilan lang ako nang marinig na tumunog ang doorbell. Agad akong tumayo at lumapit sa pinto, saka sumilip sa peephole. Bahagya akong napaatras nang si Draxon ang bumungad sa akin.
I opened the door for him. He smiled at me and winked. “Hi there, Cherry pie. Sabi ng secretary mo, masakit daw ang ulo mo kaya binisita kita rito.”
Napahawak ako sa batok ko saka ngumiti. “Hindi ka na dapat nag-abala. Ayos na ako ngayon.”
Napasinghap ako nang basta na lang siya pumasok sa loob. Napailing na lang ako at sumunod sa kaniya. Dumeretso siya sa kusina saka inilapag ang mga dala niya roon.
“All the dishes I cooked are good for hangovers,” sabi niya habang inaayos ang mga pagkaing dala niya.
“Ang dami mo namang dinala. Hindi ko mauubos ’yan,” natatawang sabi ko na lang.
Natigilan kaming pareho nang lumabas si Remor mula sa kuwarto niya. I saw how Draxon’s expression changed. He gave Remor a teasing smirk.
“What’s up, fucktard? Akala ko patay ka na,” sabi na lang ni Draxon saka napangisi.
Remor smiled at him and shook his head. “I have a long way to go… By the way, what brings you here?”
“Well, as you can see… I brought dishes for Cherry,” Draxon said and smiled.
I shook my head. Why does it sound like Draxon is trying to compete with Remor or something? Wala namang pakialam si Remor doon.
“Draxon… I know what you’re trying to do. Cherry is an important friend to me. Don’t try to play with her and break her heart… I swear, I will kill you,” Remor said with a smile on his lips… but his eyes were deadly.
“I won’t play with her heart, Fedorov… Cherry pie won’t let me,” Draxon chuckled.
Napailing ako at agad na lumapit kay Draxon at tinulungan siya sa ginagawa dahil baka kung ano pa ang masabi niya.
“Salamat sa mga ’to, Draxon,” sabi ko na lang saka pasimpleng siniko siya.
Lumapit naman siya sa akin at bumulong. “Don’t worry, Cherry pie. I’m careful.”
Napabuga ako ng hangin saka umiling. Napatingin ako kay Remor na nakatitig lang sa amin. Tila binabasa niya ang sitwasyon sa pagitan namin ni Draxon.
“Let’s eat… Eat with us too, Fedorov. Hindi naman ako ganoong kasama para hindi ka yayain,” nakangising sabi ni Draxon.
Ngumisi rin si Remor at tumango. “Okay…”
Tila hindi makapaniwalang tumingin si Draxon sa kaniya. “Wow. Hindi man lang tumanggi,” napapailing na bulong niya.
Tahimik kaming kumain tatlo. Hindi ko alam ang dapat kong maramdaman. Medyo naiilang ako sa sitwasyon. Ngayon ko lang din kasi nakitang magkasama sina Remor at Draxon… Mukhang hindi nga talaga sila close.
“How’s life, Fedorov? Sinukuan mo na ba ’yung ex-wife mo?” nakangising tanong ni Draxon.
I glared at him and slightly kicked his feet under the table. He just looked at me innocently as if he was asking what he did wrong.
“Mind your own business, Laurent…” Remor said and gave him a serious glare.
“Well, you’re bothering Cherry right now because you’re heartbroken or whatever… and Cherry’s business is my business,” Draxon said and drank his water. “You are so fucked up sometimes, Fedorov.”
“Draxon,” tila nananaway na sabi ko pa.
Remor sighed and stroked his hair. “I can’t bear to hear that from someone who’s more fucked up than me,” he chuckled.
Napakagat ako nang mariin sa ibabang labi ko dahil baka kung saan pa mapunta ang usapan nilang ito.
“Can we just eat and stop talking? Let me eat in peace, please…” I muttered.
Doon naman sila natahimik pareho na ipinagpapasalamat ko. Akala ko magbabangayan pa sila.
Pagkatapos naming kumain, nagpresinta na si Draxon na maghugas ng mga pinggan. Nagpaalam na rin siya na aalis pagkatapos dahil kailangan niyang mag-asikaso sa isang branch ng restaurant niya.
“Bye, Cherry pie. Just call me if you need something. Take care of yourself, okay?” nakangiting sabi ni Draxon saka marahang hinaplos ang buhok ko.
“What a perfect line from a womanizer,” komento naman ni Remor na prenteng nakaupo sa couch.
Draxon looked at him and smirked. “Walang karapatan bumoses ang mahina sa babae. Isipin mo na lang kung paano ka babalikan ng ex-wife mo.”
Napasinghap ako. “Draxon naman,” mariing bulong ko.
Hindi pinansin ni Draxon ang sinabi ko at ngumiti lang sa akin. “Bye, Cherry pie. I’ll go ahead.”
Hinatid ko na lang siya hanggang sa pinto. Nang makaalis na si Draxon, bumalik ako sa living room at umupo sa couch. Napatingin sa akin si Remor.
“Draxon likes you. I’m sure of it,” biglang sinabi niya.
Umiling ako. “Magkaibigan lang kami.”
“He thinks otherwise though. I’m quite worried about you… Hindi ko pa siya nakitang naging seryoso sa babae,” sabi niya habang nakatingin sa akin.
“Don’t worry about me. Draxon said it himself, I won’t let him play with my heart if ever… We’re just friends,” sabi ko pa.
Napatango na lang siya. Hindi na rin ako nagsalita at nagtungo na lang sa kusina. Kumuha ako ng tubig sa fridge saka uminom. Napabuga ako ng hangin at napahawi sa magulong buhok ko… Ni hindi ko na pala nagawang ayusin iyon.
Natigilan ako nang lumapit sa akin si Remor. Kumuha rin siya ng tubig at uminom. Lumapit ako sa sink at hinugasan ang basong ginamit ko saka pasimpleng inayos ang buhok ko.
Lumingon ako kay Remor. Natigilan ako nang mapansing may kaunting sauce sa bandang pisngi niya. Nagpigil ako ng tawa… Natigilan siya at napatingin sa akin nang mapansing nakatitig ako sa kaniya.
Lumapit ako sa kaniya at inilapit ang kamay ko sa pisngi niya. Napapitlag siya at agad na napaatras… Natigilan ako sa ginawa niya at nagtatakang tumingin sa kaniya.
Bumaba ang tingin niya sa labi ko saka bahagyang napakunot ang noo. Muli pa siyang humakbang paatras sa akin na para bang natatakot siya na lapitan ko siya at hawakan.
“Remor?” naitanong ko na lang dahil sa biglang ginawa niya.
Natigilan ako nang may mapagtanto ako. Nanghihinang napatakip ako sa bibig ko at gulat na tumingin sa kaniya.
Base sa reaksyon niya… mukhang totoo nga ang nangyari… Kung ganoon… hindi panaginip iyon.
I gasped hard when I realized it. “R-Remor… I-I really did kiss you last night, right?”
CHAPTER 7
He just laughed at me and tapped my shoulder. “What are you talking about, Cherry?”
I stared at him and observed his reaction… Halata ko na siya. Nagmamaang-maangan siya. Totoo ang nangyari kagabi… Totoo ngang hinalikan ko siya noong nalasing ako.
“Don’t try to fool me, Remor. Just be honest with me. ’Wag mo na ako gawing tanga,” mariing sabi ko.
Napabuga ng hangin si Remor. He stroked his hair and licked his lower lip. “I didn’t make a big deal out of it because you were drunk last night. I didn’t bother telling you because I know you will react like this.”
Agad akong napaiwas ng tingin sa kaniya at napakuyom ang kamao. I just want to disappear right this moment. I couldn’t take this. This was too much for me.
“Cherry… listen to me.” Humawak siya sa magkabilang balikat ko saka seryosong tumitig sa akin. “Let’s just forget about it. I understand that you were drunk last night. I never took it seriously anyway.”
His last words just made me feel worse. I know for sure that he never took the kiss seriously… Of course, he doesn’t love me… but hearing it from him directly feels like a slap in the face.
Inalis ko ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin at napaiwas ng tingin. “A-alam ko naman… Pero hayaan mo muna ako sa mga susunod na araw. I’m your friend, yes… But the fact that I kissed you, even though I was drunk, is still embarrassing for me as a woman. Please leave me alone for a few days.”
Hindi ko na siya hinintay na makapagsalita at agad siyang iniwan doon. Dali-dali akong dumeretso sa silid ko at ibinagsak ang katawan ko sa kama.
Napalunok ako at napatitig sa kisame. Ang daming tumatakbo sa isip ko na hindi ko maipaliwanag… Nangingibabaw sa akin ang inis sa sarili ko… Bakit ko ginawa iyon? Bakit ko siya nagawang halikan?
HINDI AKO NAKATULOG nang maayos kaya naman para akong wala sa sarili nang magising. Pinilit ko na lang ang sarili ko na bumangon at mag-asikaso sa pagpasok sa trabaho kahit na parang wala akong lakas.
I froze when I saw Remor preparing breakfast when I went out of the room. I bit my lower lip when he looked at me.
“Cherry, come here… Let’s eat breakfast,” he said and smiled at me.
I know what he was trying to do. He was trying to act normal… like nothing happened.
I shook my head. “No, thanks… I have to go.”
Hindi ko na siya hinintay na makapagsalita at agad na umalis.
Mabigat sa loob ko ang hindi siya sabayan kumain… pero kailangan ko muna talaga siyang iwasan. Kapag naaalala ko ang katotohanang nagawa ko siyang halikan, para akong nilalamon ng hiya.
“Ever since Remor stayed in your unit, you always seem so out of it.”
Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Draxon. Tipid na ngumiti na lang ako at napailing.
“Uhm… Ano nga ulit ang sinabi mo?” tanong ko na lang saka alanganing ngumiti.
Napailing siya. “Wala na, nagtampo na ’ko,” pag-iinarte pa niya.
I smiled apologetically at him. “Sorry… What was that again?”
“I just asked what happened to you again for you to be like that,” he said and shook his head. “Bakit pa ba ako nagtatanong? For sure, si Fedorov na naman ang dahilan.”
Natatawang napailing ako. “Sarili ko ang dahilan…”
He raised his eyebrow. “Care to tell me what happened?”
I bit my lower lip hard and stared at him. I know I shouldn’t tell him that. Pero pakiramdam ko, may kailangan akong pagsabihan kahit na isa. Wala akong naging kaibigan maliban kay Remor, kaya wala akong mapagsabihan ng mga bagay tungkol sa kaniya… Si Draxon lang.
“I-I kissed Remor when I got drunk…” I mumbled.
Napaubo si Draxon sa sinabi ko. Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata niya saka gulat na tumingin sa akin.
“You did what?” he asked with disbelief in his voice.
“I-I kissed him… It was unintentional, I swear… I-I was just drunk.” I know I sounded defensive… But I don’t want him to think that I actually kissed Remor. It was really unintentional.
Draxon sighed as if he was really stressed out. He stroked his hair and stood up. “What did he say?”
“I-I was so embarrassed about what happened… He said I shouldn’t worry… He didn’t take it seriously. S-sinabi niyang naiintindihan niya dahil lasing lang ako no’n…” bulong ko sa mahinang boses.
“Wow… Mukhang hanggang kaibigan lang talaga ang tingin sa ’yo ng gagong ’yon,” sabi niya saka muling napaupo.
Kinagat ko nang mariin ang ibabang labi ko. “Alam ko na ’yan. Palagi mo na lang sinasampal sa akin,” bulong ko sa mahinang boses.
“Yeah… Sorry,” tila labas sa ilong na sabi niya. “So, what’s your plan now?”
“I’m avoiding him.”
“Yes. That’s the perfect thing to do. You should kick him out of your unit too while you’re at it,” he chuckled.
My eyes narrowed. “I can’t do that.”
“Well, right. Of course you can’t,” he shrugged.
After work, I spent time with Draxon. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan ako aabutin nitong pag-iwas ko kay Remor… Siguro nga dapat sundin ko na lang ang sinabi ni Draxon na paalisin siya sa unit ko.
Pero kaya ko bang gawin iyon?
“Cherry…”
Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang marinig ko ang boses ni Remor pagpasok ko sa unit. Naabutan ko siya na prenteng nakaupo sa couch, tila hinintay talaga ako.
Napalunok ako at napaiwas ng tingin saka napahawak sa batok ko.
“Gising ka pa pala,” sabi ko na lang sa mahinang boses.
Agad siyang tumayo at lumapit sa akin. “Can we talk, Cherry?”
I gulped and looked at him. “Y-yeah, right… Let’s talk. This is the perfect time to tell you about my issue… Remor… I think you should go back to your place. I don’t want to kick you out of here… but I think I’m no longer comfortable with you staying here,” dere-deretsong sabi ko na lang.
Halatang natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. Napabuntonghininga siya at seryosong tumitig sa akin. “Is this because of what happened last time? I told you, I know you were drunk that time. I swear I didn’t take advantage of you nor took that seriously… We can just forget what happened, Cherry.”
I didn’t find his words comforting… It was kind of… annoying… because for some immature reason, I wanted him to be affected, but it didn’t seem to be the case for him. I hate myself for thinking this way too.
“Remor, please… J-just leave. I can’t act like nothing happened like you do. I just can’t… so please… Just leave and go back to your place,” I mumbled and played with my fingers.
This was a hard decision for me. Ayoko naman siyang pabayaan… pero wala na akong tiwala sa sarili ko simula nang halikan ko siya… kahit pa lasing ako no’n.
Remor sighed. He went silent for a moment, as if he was thinking hard. He looked at me… I immediately avoided his gaze because I might change my mind if I stare at those eyes longer… I gulped and tried to calm my heart.
“Okay… If that’s what you want. I’m sorry, and thank you for always helping me.”
Bumigat ang loob ko sa sinabi niya, pero pilit na ngumiti ako.
“W-wala ka namang dapat ihingi ng sorry at ipagpasalamat… Ako dapat ang mag-sorry dahil ako naman ang nalasing at nakagawa ng gano’ng bagay… Pasensya na kung hindi ako komportable roon, Remor…”
Ngumiti siya at tinapik ang balikat ko. “It’s fine… I understand. Thank you for letting me stay here in your place. I will leave first thing in the morning.”
Tipid na ngumiti na lang ako at tumango. Hindi na ako nagsalita pa at nagtungo na sa silid ko.
Nanghihinang umupo ako sa kama ko at napahawak sa dibdib ko… Mas mabuti na ito. Hindi rin makakatulong sa akin at sa puso ko kung mananatili pa si Remor dito.
WALA NA SI Remor nang magising ako. He left me a note though.
Thank you, Cherry. I’m sorry for all the inconveniences I caused you. I appreciate everything that you did for me.
I just texted him to remind him to take care of himself. He didn’t reply. I just shook my head and went to work with a heavy heart.
Hindi ako nakapag-focus sa trabaho dahil hindi nagre-reply si Remor. Hindi ko maiwasang mag-alala para sa kaniya.
Buong araw na nasa isip ko si Remor. Hindi ako mapakali. Nagawa kong pagsisihan sa isip ko na pinaalis ko siya. Masyado akong nag-aalala para sa kaniya. Gusto ko nang i-text si Cadence Lettiere para lang malaman kung kumusta na si Remor…
Nag-iinom na naman ba siya o nagpapakalunod sa alak?
“Bakit ngayon mo lang naisipan na paalisin si Fedorov? You shouldn’t have let him stay here in the first place,” napapailing na sabi ni Draxon.
Tahimik na pinanood ko na lang siya na hinahanda ang mga pagkaing dala niya sa kusina ko. Sinabi ko sa kaniya na wala ako sa mood kumain sa labas kaya um-order na lang siya ng pagkain sa restaurant niya at dinala rito.
Napabuga ako ng hangin at napailing. “Hindi mo ba talaga alam kung nasaan si Remor? ’Di ba halos parehas lang kayo ni Cadence na magaling sa ganyan?” tanong ko.
“Hindi ko talaga alam, okay? Kahit mamatay pa siya sa kung saan, wala naman akong pakialam.”
I glared at him. “Draxon…” I said in a warning tone.
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. I’m sorry…” He shook his head. “I don’t know why you’re so in love with Fedorov. You’re beautiful, smart, pure… you have it all. Maraming nagkakagusto sa ’yo. Why can’t you just forget that asshole and try to open your heart to someone?”
I smiled bitterly and massaged my nape. “It’s easier said than done. If I can just forget him easily, I would have done so a long time ago. Loving Remor was hard, Draxon… I always have to limit myself… because for him, I’m just a friend.”
Draxon sighed. “Well, you’re right… My only wish for you is to finally free yourself from loving that man.”
Matapos naming mag-usap at kumain ni Draxon, nagpaalam na rin siya para umalis.
“Sleep early. I have to go now. Bye, Cherry pie,” Draxon said and tapped my shoulder.
I smiled and nodded. “Mag-ingat ka sa biyahe. Salamat pala sa pagkain.”
Napangisi siya. “Basta ikaw.”
Napailing na lang ako at inihatid siya hanggang sa pinto. Nang makaalis na siya, isinara ko na ang pinto. Napabuga na lang ako ng hangin at napahawak sa balikat ko.
Kumusta na kaya si Remor? Talagang nag-aalala ako.
Natigilan ako nang akmang dederetso na ako sa kuwarto ko. Napatili at halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang makita si Remor. He was leaning on the door of his room, with his arms crossed. He was looking at me with a serious expression in his face.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you’re here? Do you really have to scare me like that?!” Palagi akong kalmado, pero hindi ko maiwasang magtaas ng boses. Napasapo pa ako sa dibdib ko dahil sa gulat.
Natigilan ako nang mapansing hindi siya nagsasalita at seryoso lang na nakatitig sa akin…
I froze when I realized something. I gulped hard and stared at him… “H-how long have you been here?” I asked in a shaky voice.
Please. Please. I hope he didn’t hear that. Please.
“Well… I’ve been here long enough for me to hear what you talked about with Draxon,” he said in a serious tone while staring at me.
Nanghihinang napaatras ako sa sinabi niya kasabay ng panginginig ng mga kamay at tuhod ko.
“R-Remor… I-it was… I-I was…” My voice was also shaking that I couldn’t speak properly anymore.
His forehead creased. I don’t know what he was thinking right now.
“I’m sure I heard it right… I’m sure I heard you say that you love me…”
For me, he seemed… mad and unhappy.
CHAPTER 8
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 9
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 10
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 11
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 12
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 13
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 14
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 15
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 16
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 17
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 18
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 19
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 20
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 21
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 22
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 23
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 24
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 25
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 26
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 27
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 28
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 29
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 30
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 31
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 32
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 33
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 34
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 35
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 36
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 37
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 38
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 39
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 40
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 41
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 42
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 43
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 44
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

FINAL CHAPTER
This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.
Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.


