Welcome to Book 2

Hey friends,

It’s finally here—Part 2 of Lucas & Emilia’s love story! 🖤

Broken Hope picks up right where Broken Vows left off. If you haven’t read Book 1 (Broken Vows) yet, I recommend starting there to get the full emotional punch.

Thanks for trusting me with your heart. Now let’s see how far Lucas and Emilia will go to fight for their love.

— Ariana

✨ New chapters in ongoing stories land every Tuesday & Thursday at 3:00 PM EST.

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Prologue

Emilia

The Night He Left

(3 Years Ago)

Endings are the start of new beginnings.

That is what they say, isn’t it? What well-meaning folks wrap around you like a warm blanket, as if the saying is the antidote to heartbreak and disappointment. Not until today had I questioned the premise of the saying. Never did I see it for the lie it truly is, for there is no comfort to be found in watching the life you love come to an end. Much less in the prospect of a beginning, you don’t want.

“Just sign the papers, Emilia.”

“I don’t understand. Why the rush? We should wait until—”

“God damn it, woman!” He roars and slams a fist against the black marble countertop of our kitchen island. “Don’t you get we’re out of fucking time! Five hours from now, I’ll be gone and on my way to the most important assignment of my career. I need this done, so I can focus on not getting myself killed!”

“How can you want this? After everything…” I step forward, reaching out for him in hopes the physical contact will help remind him of the life we share. When strong fingers wrap around my wrist to stop me, a deep sense of sadness chokes me up and renders me unable to speak.

“This isn’t working for either of us anymore,” he states matter-of-factly, as though my opinion on the matter means nothing. “I know it and deep down you know it, too.”

“No Creed. That’s not true…”

“Will you fucking stop!” he screams as he grips my arms and shakes me violently. When he realizes what he’s done, he pulls me hard against his chest and wraps me up in a tight embrace. “Please, Emi. Just stop…” he begs over my head, his pained whisper blowing through my hair like an agonizing caress.

I can sense his desire to diffuse the tension between us. It’s like we’ve been catapulted into an alternate universe where I’m the one that fights and he’s the one who appeals for peace. The sudden role reversal is jarring, and further strains the deep sense of dread I can’t seem to shake.

Still, after months of missing his touch, my body sinks into him. Even as this embrace is a far cry from the way he used to hold me, I close my eyes and soak it in. The smell of aftershave and the way it mixes with his scent somehow helps to ease the ache inside my chest. The relief is short-lived, however, for when he steps away and puts the kitchen island between us, my heart sinks at the realization he won’t be swayed.

“It’s over. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. We don’t work. Not because of you, but because of me. I’m a selfish bastard who’ll do or say whatever it takes to get what he wants and from the moment we met, all I wanted was you.”

“I don’t understand. You have me.” I move to get closer, but he raises a hand to stop me.

“No. You’re not listening, and I need you to hear this. I wanted you, so early on I learned all I had to do was convince you I could give you the life you wanted. I knew that once I got you to the altar, all bets would be off because you would never, ever leave me. No matter how short I fell on the promises I made, you’d stand by me because it’s who you are. Loyal to a fault.” He scoffs as though he’s disgusted by my sense of loyalty, but in his eyes, I see the truth. It’s a quality he admires.

“I never had that before I met you, you know? The way you loved me is the most real thing I’d ever experienced in my life and God, it was addictive,” he sighs and then winces. Running a hand over his face, he emits a low growl before he says, “It’s why I lied and manipulated you. To trap you so I could keep you.”

“Stop this! Why are you saying these things?” I gasp in agony through piercing sobs. His words hit their mark, and it’s like the very foundation of our relationship has turned to dust, leaving me to question every moment of our past. Our present. Our future. What he’s insinuating can’t be true because if it was, wouldn’t I have felt it long before now?

“Because you asked me why I’m doing this, and for once, I owe you the truth. The life you’re fighting so hard to hold on to is based on lies.” Leaning onto the edge of the counter, his shoulders slump. “I’m tired of living this way. I’m sick of pretending I belong with you and the girls. What we have isn’t real. Even standing in our home, surrounded by our things, none of this feels real to me. But out there,” he points to the back door behind me, as the intensity of his gaze burns through me.

“In the dark trenches where despicable evil exists, now that world feels real. It’s the pain of it. The fear and devastation. The type of desperation that seeps into your bones and brings you to your knees. That’s where I thrive. It’s what drives and fuels the fire I need to burn it all down to hell. To chase the monsters, I must exist solely in that murky world instead of splitting my time here, where ignorance and pretense are par for the course. Where the search for joy and happiness comes at the expense of ignoring the terrifying truth that there are people in this world hell-bent on destroying its innocence.”

He swallows hard. His chest rises and falls several times while his head drops to his chest, before rising once more to meet my gaze. “I don’t belong in this life and I’m tired of pretending I do. So I’m begging you. Put us both out of our misery. Sign the papers so we can get back to living in our respective worlds.”

Another round of sobs breaks through me as devastation sinks in. The finality of what he’s said hits with such force, that I can feel myself plummeting into the dark abyss of grief. As despair descends over me, the life around us fades behind a fog of gloom. The family pictures on the wall hung in a proud display of our life together. The girl’s artwork that lovingly adorns our refrigerator door. My great-grandmother’s heirloom china, carefully stored behind glass cabinets for all to see. All the symbols of the perfect family life I love and want to keep now shroud me like a cold blanket of deceit.

Lost to my sadness, I hear the soles of his shoes as he comes to stand next to me. When he takes my hand to comfort me, I fill the silence with the only truth that matters to me.

“I love our life.”

At this, he gives a tired sigh. Then, with a pitiful look, he hits me with one last dose of devastating truth.

“No. What you love is the idea of what could have been. The lie I sold to you, but would never deliver. It was a mirage, Emilia. A sleight of hand. Deception at the hands of someone well-trained in the art, whose mission at the time was to win the heart of a woman he wasn’t meant to have. For that, I’m truly sorry.”

Releasing me, he reaches for the pen and divorce papers and then lays them down in front of me. “You deserve a chance to find your happily ever after, Emi. Signing these gives you that chance.”

Through tear-filled eyes, I stare at the paperwork. With shaky hands, I move to do as he asks, but when the pen touches the page, the finality hits me. Once I do this, he’ll be gone, and with him, the future I thought was guaranteed. Like before, I’ll be left behind to wander the world alone and in pieces. Broken. Never whole. The emptiness in my heart forever serving as a reminder that I’m not enough. That no matter how much or how hard I love them, they will never choose me.

“I can’t do this…” I cry as I look up into his eyes. “Please don’t make me do this. Don’t leave us like this. I know you love us. Just this once I’m begging you, please choose us…”

For a second, it looks like he’s going to reach for me, but then stops. Instead, he stares into my eyes, and for once, he doesn’t hide behind his usual mask of indifference.

“I do love you. All three of you. But unfortunately, love isn’t enough. The job will always come first. I will always be a source of disappointment in your lives because this is how I’m built. It’s better that we do this now. In hurting you this final time, I’m saving the three of you from a lifetime of future pain.”

Turning away, he grabs his jacket from the back of the dining chair before making his way toward the back door. When he steps out into the cool spring air, he turns to face me, sad eyes meeting mine for what feels like the last time.

“Sign the papers, then get them to Nic. She knows what to do. Take care of yourself and our girls.” When his voice breaks, he pauses a moment to compose himself, before adding, “It was an honor being your husband and father to our girls. I hope someday I can be the type of father they deserve. Until then, I think it’s best I stay away.”

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Author's Note: 

This is the first time we get to meet Emilia's husband, Creed.
 Though I'm angry with him for what he's done to Emilia and his girls, there's a part of me that feels sorry for him. He's caught between two opposing worlds, and struggling to figure out a way to balance them both.

How about you? What do you think of Creed and this scene? 

CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 1

Emilia

(Present Day)

Oh god! What have I done?

It’s the first thought that comes to mind when, out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of Lucas and Nero running after us.

When we disappear around the corner, I try to signal for Creed to stop. Tapping my hand on his abdomen, I yell over the deafening roar of the engine. I need him to turn around and go back, so Lucas and I can explain that we’ve been searching for him and that this is our chance to work together to find a solution. But when Creed tosses my purse onto the side of the road and then squeezes my hand in a painful grip, it becomes clear I’m no longer in control of my destiny.

“Stop it!” He roars loud enough for me to know he means business.

There was a time when I trusted this man implicitly. That was back before that dreaded day three years ago when he tried to convince me our marriage was based on lies and manipulations. I’m still not sure I believe what he said to me that night. But now, as I face the possibility he’s kidnapped me, I’m no longer certain I can trust him not to hurt me. I mean, why else go through the trouble of taking me this way? If he meant me no harm, why didn’t he just go to Ben and ask for his help?

Oh god, the earrings. Why didn’t I wear the earrings?

I was so angry and hurt after what happened between Lucas and me this morning that in an act of defiance, I refused to wear them and tossed them into my purse instead. The purse that’s now discarded on the side of the road, along with my phone, my wallet, and the tracking device that was meant to keep me safe.

How could I’ve been so stupid?

Unlucky for me, I have plenty of time to dwell on my stupidity and current predicament. Whether it’s been hours or minutes, I have no idea how much time has passed when he pulls the motorcycle onto a dirt road. The surrounding landscape tells me we’re not far from home, most likely in one of the more desolate mountain towns. Which one is anyone’s guess, and I’m kicking myself for not having paid closer attention. It was a foolish mistake. One I hope I don’t live to regret.

When we come to a stop outside a small cabin, I scan the area, knowing this might be my only chance at an escape. The hunting cabin looks old and poorly maintained. The surrounding forest has grown to reclaim not only the land around it but also parts of the porch where the floorboards are broken.

Before he’s turned the motorcycle off, I’m already on the move. Jumping from the back of the bike, I tear the helmet off my head and take off on a run. The rocky ground is difficult to navigate and I almost trip. Thankfully, I’m able to catch my footing before I fall.

“Emi stop!” He yells behind me.

He’s so much faster, partly because of the high heels that make it difficult to run. In my attempt to kick them off, he makes his move, grabbing me by the arm and spinning me around. Just as I learned in the self-defense classes Ben forced us to take, I swing at his face. My fist connects in a hit that should hurt him, and yet I’m the one who falls in pain.

“Nooo…don’t touch me!” I scream, holding my injured hand to my chest, while I flail and kick to keep him away.

“God damn it, Emilia. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Like a cornered animal I fight and scream until he lifts me from the ground and wraps me up in a tight hold. With my back against his chest and my hands secured across my body, I’m at his mercy. Resigned to my fate, the fight drains from me and I begin to cry. When he shifts his hold into an embrace, memories of our life together come rushing back.

This right here is the man I married.

The man who rescued me from the depths of heartbreak and taught me I could love again.

The man who saved me from myself, and showed me how to live again.

But then his ugly words from that awful night three years ago replay in my mind, stoking the red-hot rage that now lives inside me. He deceived me. Tricked me into loving him when he knew all along he didn’t want the same life I did. And then he disappeared. Left me and the girls to fend for ourselves.

“Get the hell off me,” I yell, pushing him away as I reign in the tears he doesn’t deserve. When he does as I ask and lets go, I trip and fall to the ground, kicking at him when he reaches out to help me. “I said don’t touch me! I want nothing from you. Not anymore.”

“Emilia, please. I brought you here to explain.”

“Explain what? How you’re a liar. How everything you’ve told me, including the reason you left, was a sleight of hand. Deception at the hands of a well-trained agent whose mission was to fool the naïve woman he tricked into marriage?”

For a moment, he just stares. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he hangs his head in shame. When he finds the courage to meet my eyes, it looks as though he’s going to respond, but he doesn’t. Instead, he lets out a defeated sigh before turning away from me and walking back towards the cabin.

“Come on. We have a lot to discuss.”

Not caring one bit about what he wants, I sit there watching as he takes the creaky steps to the front door, where he shoves a key and turns until the lock clicks open. When he steps inside, he turns to look at me imploringly. Common sense tells me I should get up and walk away, but my need for answers is just as strong as my desire to confront him and make him face the consequences of what he’s done to our family.

Getting up, I straighten out my dress and then walk towards where he stands, making sure not to spare him a glance. Once inside, the musty smell makes me cringe, and I use the back of my hand to cover my nose. Blinking a few times to adjust to the low light in the room, I look around and take in my surroundings.

The place is small and looks to have been abandoned long ago, though I can see areas where someone’s made recent repairs. The potent smell of damp mold and dust is yet another sign this place hasn’t seen the light of day in several years. There’s a small kitchenette to the left of the front door, with a small living room area to the right where an old, worn couch with an ugly floral pattern sits to the side. Across the living room are two additional doors, both closed, and I can only guess one to be a bedroom and the other a bathroom. At least I hope for my sake there is a bathroom, especially with not knowing how long he intends to keep me here.

“So what, am I your prisoner?” I scoff, my disdain for him and the situation clear, though I’m sure he can tell it’s partially an act. The truth is, I’m more hurt than mad. Not only did he abandon us, but for two years he left me to suffer alone, as I wondered if the man I married was even alive.

“No.” He shakes his head as an amused smirk, which I choose to ignore, takes over his face.

“Then I need a phone. I have no desire to be anywhere near you right now.”

“No phone. Not yet. First, we talk.”

“Fine. Then talk. What do you want?”

Again he smirks, only this time it turns into his signature arrogant grin. Anger pulses through me as my traitorous insides warm with desire for the man I loved and thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. Feelings that I long buried are suddenly resurrected, sparking a glimmer of hope that maybe none of this is as it seems.

“You know…” he takes a seat at the small round table in the kitchenette, then signals for me to do the same. “I don’t remember you being this feisty.”

His smart remark snaps me back to reality. If the past three years have proven anything is that hope and my relationship with this man do not go together. “Yeah, well, that was before, when I thought you were a man worthy of my respect.”

He smiles. That he’s finding pleasure in my anger, only stokes the fire of rage I’m barely able to contain. “Well, whatever it is, I like it. Now take a seat.”

“No. I think I’ll stand, thank you very much.”

This time, he chuckles. “Suit yourself. Now, tell me, how are the girls?”

“They’re none of your damn business. You lost your right to know anything the second you abandoned them.”

“Fair enough.” No longer amused, he crosses his arms at his chest. “I heard the FBI paid you a visit.” When he pauses, I nod. “What did they tell you?”

“That you need to turn yourself in. If you don’t, they’ll take it out on me and the girls. Did you know they’re building a case against both of us? That they’ve got surveillance on me? That they’ve been following the girls and me for months? What the hell did you do, Creed?”

When he sighs, I notice the deep exhaustion rooted in his features. It’s the type of bone-weary fatigue that shows in the way we age, accentuating the fine lines on our faces, while darkening and sagging the skin just below the eyes. Though it’s only been three years since this all started, it’s obvious how the stress of being on the run has taken its toll. Seeing him so changed saddens me. There’s a part of me that wants to save him from the hell he’s endured, but the scorned, hurt, abandoned mother in me can’t let go of all the things he’s done. I need answers.

“It’s all a setup. I’ll explain more when everyone gets here.”

“Everyone?” Confused and suddenly cold, I wrap my arms around myself.

“Ben and his team. My guys are leading them here. I just needed a few minutes alone with you first.”

“They’re on their way?” I ask hopefully, stepping forward as the news seems to warm my extremities.

He nods, then clears his throat. A look of uncertainty passes over him, and he averts his gaze.

“What is it? What did you want to talk about?” I ask, my voice gentle for the first time since arriving here.

“I didn’t do what they’re saying,” he says solemnly, his eyes fixed on a random point on the dark wooden table. “They’re setting me up. Their way of damaging my reputation, so when I expose the truth, no one will believe me.”

As the room sinks into silence, he takes a deep breath and then rubs his eyes with the heel of his hands. Removing his ball cap, he sets it down on the table in front of him.

“I just need you to know the truth. I would have been here sooner, but they had me pinned down, and the people I had watching out for you swore they’d left you alone. I came as soon as I heard that changed, that they were planning to use you to get to me.”

“You have someone watching me?”

“No. Not exactly.” Standing, he walks to the back of the kitchenette, where he opens the green door of an ancient-looking refrigerator. As he leans down to peer inside, he asks, “Bottle of water?”

“Sure.”

Not confident in the way my limbs are shaking, I move to the table and take the seat across from where he was sitting. When he returns, he hands me the bottle of water and then joins me at the table.

“The situation is complicated…”

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note: 

Remember back when Emilia was a conflict-avoidant pushover?
 It's good to know that when push comes to shove, our Emilia is willing to fight for herself.

As for Creed, we finally have confirmation he's not quite the bad guy the FBI's made him out to be. 

I'd love to hear what you think about Creed so far. Do you find it odd that he took Emilia the way he did, only to lead Lucas and the team back to the cabin where he's keeping her? At this point, do you feel he can be trusted?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 2

Emilia

“The situation is complicated…”

Sensing he might not be entirely forthcoming, I demand, “Then uncomplicate it for me by telling me everything. From the beginning. I need to know why you left and disappeared, where it is you’ve been, and why the FBI thinks I’m involved in whatever it is you’re doing. You owe me the truth, Creed. All of it. After everything you’ve put me through, it’s the least you can do.”

Though his eyebrows draw together, he gives me a slight nod. “When I left three years ago, my mission was to infiltrate the dark corners of an organization called La Salvacion. They’re a multi-national operation, that goes into countries fraught with war and poverty, to help orphans and refugee families. Billions of dollars are funneled to this organization from all over the world, as people make contributions to what they believe is a worthy cause.

“Our investigation first started five years ago when my partner and I identified a link between this organization and several international human trafficking cases we were working. Digging deeper, we uncovered connections that suggested the corruption in the organization was widespread. Especially amongst its leadership, which we learned includes some of the most powerful and influential people in the United States. American citizens, who hold high-ranking positions within our federal government, as well as in the public and private sectors.

“When we realized the success of the organization was driven in part by powerful Americans who were facilitating its illegal activities, we took what we found up the chain of command to the one person we knew wouldn’t turn a blind eye to what was happening. We needed someone with the authority to keep the investigation alive, and who had the resources to keep the details a secret while we gathered the evidence necessary to prosecute those involved.

“When I left you guys, I went to Columbia on orders from the FBI to go after some of the smaller players. But… I was also there on orders from the President of the United States, in essence, to uncover evidence that would implicate those Americans involved. Members of our very own government, including leadership in the Justice Department, the FBI, the CIA, and several other agencies. The mission was classified. No one knew what I was really doing there except a handful of trusted individuals, yet somehow the details of my mission were leaked.

“My handler and presidential contact informed me of what went down and helped me escape apprehension. They’re the ones that have been watching to make sure the FBI left you alone. The minute they got word the focus of their investigation now included you, they reached out to me. It was them who helped me back into the country, so we could work together to get you and the girls off the FBI’s radar.”

Shocked, I sit back in silence. My mind reeling as I process everything he’s shared. Though I’m relieved to hear he didn’t commit the crimes the FBI accused him of, his story changes nothing as it relates to my safety and that of the girls. And the worst part is, we wouldn’t be in this mess if not for his actions and his obsession with his job at the very agency now trying to frame him.

“You knew. Before you left, you knew the shitstorm this investigation might kick up, and even knowing the risks to you, to me and the girls, to our life, you still chose to go. How could you do this? How could you up and leave us without so much as a warning? How could you leave us vulnerable, and without a clue that our lives could implode at any moment?”

“Emilia…”

“No! Do not Emilia me. Not now. Not ever again. Not after you left me to grieve for you. Left me to cry, be sad, and be scared for you. Do you have any idea what I went through? What the past three years have been like? The minute you handed me those divorce papers and left, my life as I knew it ceased to exist. And then the FBI calls one day to tell me you’re missing. No other information on what was to come next, no word on what they were doing to find you. Nothing but silence and loneliness because they threatened to come after me if I told anyone what was happening with you. I had to deal with this all on my own, Creed. Completely and utterly alone.” My voice breaks, and I take a second to regain my composure.

“At the very least, you should have reached out when everything blew up, to warn me of what was coming and to tell me you were safe.”

“I’m sorry, I…”

“Save your apologies because I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have signed those damn divorce papers when I had the chance. I can only imagine the heartache it would have saved me if I’d just done what you asked. But no, instead I fought for you!” I’m so enraged that suddenly I’m yelling.

“I fought and held on to our marriage because outside of you, I couldn’t see me. You and the girls were my world, yet for you, we were nothing more than a complication. A hindrance. It used to make me so sad…” A sob breaks free, so I cover my mouth with a hand, fighting to breathe through the anguish.

“But now I’m just mad at myself for having spent the past three years crying over someone who doesn’t deserve my love. My devotion. Or those two little girls who are worthy of so much more. I should hate you.” I stare at him, eyes slit with anger and betrayal. “But instead, who I hate is me for not seeing you for who you are. For assuming that you loved me. That you loved us.”

“I do love you!” He screams at me, his demeanor gripped with fury I don’t understand. He’s not the aggrieved party here. It’s not my decisions that got us to this point. It was him. All of this is on him. “I’ve spent every second I’ve been away worrying about the three of you. I love you and those girls, and it’s because I care that I left. It’s why I’ve stayed away.”

Out of my mind with anger at the sorry excuse, I stand and lunge at him. The fiery rage that pulses through my veins demands I hurt him just like he’s hurt us. While he lets me get a few hard hits in, it’s not long before he has me subdued. With my fists crushed tight between us, I’m trapped and helpless. Dropping my forehead to his chest, I surrender to the grief. Sounds of betrayal bleed out of me with every sob that rips from my throat.

“Listen to me,” he clears his throat. “I do love you. How could I not when you’re like the goddam sun? From the moment I saw you, I couldn’t turn away, even as I knew my career made having a relationship damn near impossible. I knew it was a mistake, yet I couldn’t give up the only perfect thing God had ever given me.” His voice is rough and thick with emotion.

“And even knowing it was wrong, I don’t have it in me to regret it because my life before you was like the darkest, coldest night. My life afterward is lonelier and colder still, but that time I had with you I was rife with vitality. For the very first time, I had hope. You changed me. Made me want better things for myself than just to exist, so I held on when I should have let you go. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry the life I lead and the choices I’ve made have hurt you. But I will never. Ever. Regret falling in love with you.”

And then his lips crash into mine. An eager hand tangles into the back of my hair, pulling at my head until my mouth is right where he wants it. Deepening the kiss, he consumes me. His other hand comes to my hip, gripping desperately and bringing our bodies flush against one another. When he moans into my mouth, it lights a spark I haven’t felt in longer than I can remember. It’s want, need, and desire, all wrapped in this moment of pure, carnal exhilaration. I feel wanted. His body against mine as he handles me with such passion, fills the ever-present void that hasn’t been quenched since before he left me.

His lips are desperate. Almost pleading. Maybe for forgiveness. For understanding. Whatever he’s asking for, my body gives willingly. When his tongue parts my lips, I open myself up to him, moaning in response. With urgency, he reaches down the back of my thighs, lifting me and sliding his hands down the curve of my ass while my legs wrap around him.

Backing me up against the wall, his hands drop to pull my dress up around my waist, exposing my lower half while his mouth plunders mine in a punishing kiss. Within moments, I hear the sound of his belt as he sets himself free. In the next breath, he slides my panties to the side and enters me. The sound of our intertwined moans seems to fuel his desperation as he pounds into me, awakening every nerve ending in my core. It’s like fire and ice, burning and cooling the deepest parts of me and creating the most delicious friction.

His moans only heighten the euphoria. My insides quake as I feel him coming undone. At this point, nothing else matters. Nothing but the desire to relieve this burning, beautiful ache that throbs and sends waves of pleasure firing through my body.

“Fuck Emmie, Jesus you feel good…”

He continues to pound into me, deeper and harder, with a punishing speed that adds a touch of pain. Closing my eyes, I take in the sensation, craving the explosion that’s just out of my reach. With his free hand, he cups my breast and pinches my nipple, bringing about a delicious mix of pleasure and pain.

“Goddam baby. Fuck, I missed you. I’m sorry I left. I had to. To keep you safe.” He pants against my ear in between heaving breaths.

The words are likely meant to push me over the edge, but land like a bucket of ice water instead. In an instant, I remember everything he’s done. The divorce papers. How he left and never reached out to let me know he was safe or that the girls and I were in danger. It snaps me out of the sexual fog and lands me back in the dirty old cabin. The feel of the moist wood, as it splinters against my back with each of his thrusts, makes me gasp in both shock and pain. Mistaking the sound as pleasure, he speeds his thrusts, pumping into me two, three, four more times before grunting and filling me with his release.

The warm stickiness that pulses into me adds insult to injury. Shame wraps its icy claws around my chest as I’m struck by the gravity of my failures. Tears spring to my eyes, and a desolate sob breaks through my swollen lips. When he realizes I’m crying, he pulls out of me and gently drops my legs to the floor as he continues to steady me.

“Emi?” Lifting my chin, he forces my gaze to his.

One look.

That’s all it takes for us to realize this is the end.

There’s nothing left of our relationship worth salvaging.

The severity of our mistakes sits between us like a giant boulder too great to be overcome.

Dropping his head, he says, “I’m so sorry, Emilia. I never meant to hurt you.”

Barely able to contain my emotions, I nod. Pushing away from him, I wipe the tears off my face, then work to pull my dress back into place. Stepping into the living room, I wrap my arms around my chest and take a moment to breathe through quiet sobs. I’m not only sad, but ashamed. And so damn sick that once again I let myself be used. Don’t I deserve so much more than this?

“Is there a bathroom?” I ask with my back still to him.

“Um, yeah. Right through there.”

I turn just enough to see where he’s pointing, then make my exit. Slamming the bathroom door behind me, I turn to find an old-style bathroom with a green toilet and matching green pedestal sink. The look and feel align with the rest of the crusty old cabin, which only amplifies my desire to get away from this place.

At the sink, I turn the knob, relieved when the crystal clear water trickles into the stained sink. With my purse dumped on the side of some sidewalk, and the primitive facilities around me, I have no choice but to use my panties to get myself clean. After rinsing them under the cold water, I frantically wipe away all remnants of him while wishing I could just as easily erase this day from existence. Overwhelmed, heaping sobs burst forth, the sounds of devastation wrapping themselves around me and binding me to my shame. How could I have let this happen?

Looking up, I catch sight of myself in the mirror. Streaks of this morning’s makeup run down my face, while my carefully styled top knot is disheveled and loose. With bloodshot eyes and red puffy lips, the girl who stares back is a perfect depiction of how battered and broken I feel.

“Embree, it’s me. Open up.”

Lucas. At the sound of his voice, I burst through the door and jump into his arms. Wrapped in the warm safety of his embrace, I can finally breathe. Certain of the protection he’s offering, I bury my face in the crook of his neck and let myself fall apart.

“What did you do to her?” he growls. Fearing he’ll let me go, I tighten my hold around him. “Shh… sweetheart. It’s okay. Tell me, did he hurt you?” When I shake my head no, he brings a hand to the back of my head to comfort me.

“She’s fine. We just talked.” Creed bites back, sounding annoyed at Lucas’s question. Though it appears he wants to say more, he’s cut off when Nero growls.

“Sit the fuck down asshole, before we let our four-legged friend feast on you.” I recognize Ben’s voice. His tone only adds to the tension stifling the room.

When Lucas reaches for the hand I’m trying to hide behind my back, I try to pull away, to no avail. Reaching through my fingers, he takes the wet garment from me, giving it a brief look, before his body tenses with rage.

Embarrassed and not wanting to make things worse, I pull his gaze to mine and whisper, “I’m okay, Luc. I swear to you. Please let it go.”

“Did he…”

Adamantly, I shake my head no. “I’ll explain. Later. Please.”

With a nod, he turns to look at Creed. The murderous glare on his face leaves no doubt he has some idea of what happened between us. But a knock on the door interrupts the stare-down, and I watch in shock as Lucas and Ben draw their weapons.

When the door opens, Dominick enters, holding a gun to none other than Special Agent Carter Hunt. Behind them Mason follows, his weapon pointed at a red-haired woman I’ve never seen before. When I gasp, Lucas positions himself in front of me, his hand never leaving mine.

“Put your weapons down. They’re here to help.” Creed tells my rescuers before Nero lets out a warning bark.

“No can do since that’s the fucker who showed up at her door to threaten her.”

“Damnit, Ben. Listen to me, he’s with me. He’s been looking out for her and helping me steer clear of the assholes trying to kill me. He’s with me and so is she.”

The way Creed says it reminds me of what Agent Kessler implied about Creed and the red-haired girl he took to the FBI family events instead of me. Stepping around Lucas, I look at her.

“It was her, wasn’t it?” I direct the question at Agent Hunt. “The girl your partner told me my husband was with.”

Her mouth falls open. With her hands out in front of her as if to calm me, she takes a step toward me. “It’s not what you think. We work together in a professional capacity. My name is Maxine Halder. Agent Hunt and I have been assigned to keep your husband safe. To help him with whatever he needs as he continues his investigation.”

“Look, we’re wasting time. We brought you here for a reason. We have a plan. A way to keep Emilia and my girls safe, but for it to work, we need your help.” With his elbows on his knees, looking completely spent, Creed looks at the men standing around us.

“Fine. Start talking.” Ben retorts.

“There’s one more person we’re waiting for. She should be here…” A knock at the door interrupts him.

Mason, who is closest, looks through the peephole. “What the…”

Annoyed, Creed demands, “For god’s sake, just let her in.”

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Author's Note: 

I don't know what else to say about this chapter other than, wow! 
So much is revealed in this one scene, and yet there are still so many unanswered questions.

And that interaction between Creed and Emilia...yikes!  It's crazy how strong emotions can sometimes drive us to make the wrong decisions.

I'd love to know what you think of this chapter and the information that was revealed. How do you feel about what happened between Emilia and Creed? Who do you think is at the door?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 3

Lucas

When the well-dressed woman in high heels comes through the door, Emilia lets go of my hand. Stepping before me, she covers her mouth like she can’t believe who she’s seeing.

“Why the hell would you bring her here?” Ben growls at Creed. That’s when I realize it’s Nic, Ben’s little sister, whom I haven’t seen since I was 17.

“She’s here because we need her,” Creed answers.

“No. Nah-uh. Nic, out. Now!” Ben points to the door, almost stomping his foot like an errant child.

“Riiight. Cause telling me what to do always works out so well for you.” Nic laughs, not at all bothered by her brother’s ire.

“You can’t be here, Nic. He’s a wanted criminal.”

“An alleged criminal. You remember the whole innocent until proven guilty thing, right? Anyway, not that I need to explain myself to you. I’m here at Creed’s request to represent Emilia on a personal matter.” When she ends the sentence, her eyes land on Embree. “I’m here for you.”

That she doesn’t respond worries me. Laying a supportive hand on her back, I ask, “Embree, what do you want to do? If you want to leave, say the word and I’ll get you out of here.”

“Absolutely not.” Creed stands abruptly. Nero lunges, stopping just short of reaching him. A vicious growl accompanies the sound of snapping jaws. Staggering, Creed’s back hits the wall with a loud thud. “She…she can’t leave. We have a plan.” His eyes are wide and trained on Nero, who stares him down with his teeth bared.

“Nero los,” I command. With one last look at our mutual enemy, he returns to my side. Wanting to shield her from Creed’s prying eyes, I step in front of her. “What do you want to do here, Emb? Stay or go?” I ask again.

“I’m alright. Let’s just hear what they have to say and then we’ll go.”

“You sure?”

When she nods, I take her hand, then turn to face Creed. With Nero disarmed and sitting at my feet, the two agents have moved to his side. When he notices Embree’s hand in mine, he clenches his jaw and shoots me a threatening glare. In defiance, I return his stare. The near certainty he took advantage of her after luring her from my protection has me seeing red, and I want nothing more than to wrap my fingers around his neck.

“Alright kids, mind if the adults take over?” Nic reaches for Embree, pulling her away from me and leading her to a chair at the table. “Creed, you too. Sit.”

After Embree takes a seat next to him, he shoots me a condescending smile before looking into her eyes and taking her hand. The deliberate move has the desired effect and makes my blood boil. The contempt I feel for this man grows more intense, especially as I palm the wet fabric concealed in my hand. I want to believe nothing happened between them, but the way she looked coming out of the bathroom before collapsing into my arms does nothing to allay my fears.

I will get the truth from her.

And if he did what I think he did, I will fucking end him.

That’s a guarantee.

On the verge of doing something I’ll regret, I turn away, moving to take a seat on the old couch at the other end of the space. I’m a man of action. Someone who grabs the proverbial bull by the horns and executes solutions. I’m not used to sitting around stewing in this type of angry helplessness. It puts me on edge. Everything feels tight. My muscles, my skin. Like I’m a tightrope whose ends are frayed and about to break. As if sensing my discomfort, Nero lays his head on my lap. Running my fingers through his dark fur, my brain continues to race.

Creed showing up out of the blue, a week after the FBI showed up at her door to threaten her, can’t be a coincidence. Plus kidnapping her while holding us at bay, only to later lead us back here. None of this feels right. He’s up to something and as much as I’d like to get her the hell away from him and this place, it’s not my call to make.

For the next few minutes, I listen as Creed and the two agents recount the events that led us here. How while investigating sex trafficking cases involving foreign nationals, they uncovered evidence that linked those individuals with a non-profit organization that cares for children and families in war-ravaged nations. How, after digging deeper, they discovered the organization was controlled by rich and powerful Americans who not only funded its operations but also profited from illegal activities hidden beneath their philanthropic pursuits. Illegal activities that include not only the trafficking of human beings but also of guns, drugs, and even money laundering.

“That’s when the task force was created,” Agent Halder continues. “Under the direction of the President, the goal was to infiltrate the operation to gather evidence and find out how deep the corruption goes. Only a handful of people knew what we were doing, yet the information was leaked. In an attempt to impede the investigation, someone in the Justice Department—we don’t know who—falsified evidence, making Creed the target of the investigation. Elements of the FBI, CIA, DEA, and ATF are working together to discredit him, by pinning the very crimes he was investigating on him.”

Regardless of how I feel about the guy, even I can agree the situation is one massive clusterfuck he doesn’t deserve. Still, he knew the risks. Taking on the wealthy and influential, particularly those who can turn the government against you, is a task that shouldn’t be taken lightly. What he was doing was not only dangerous to him, but to his family, and he should have taken them into consideration before he volunteered for the assignment. Unlike Emilia and the girls, he had a choice. And he chose to pursue the case anyway. Not only did he put them at risk, but he also failed to put safeguards in place to ensure they were protected if his mission failed.

No longer able to sit through this, I make my way to where Ben and Dominick stand. Briefly glancing at Nero, who takes a seat at my feet, I notice how closely he’s watching Creed. Apparently, my dog doesn’t trust the motherfucker either.

“Look. We get it. Shit’s fucked up and you’re screwed,” Ben acknowledges with a hint of impatience. “You said you have a plan that helps Emilia and the girls. How about we just focus on that?”

Mouth gaping, Creed looks at Ben for a moment and then says, “Since when are you such an asshole?”

“Since like forever,” Nic snickers, her smile growing ever wider when Ben sends her a dirty look.

“Oh, I don’t know, Creed. Probably since it came to my attention that you chose your career over the safety of your family.”

As the two men glower at one another, I notice Embree’s pulled her hand away from Creed’s. Instead, she sits back in her chair, shoulders slumped, with a faraway look in her eyes. I want to go to her. I want to take her in my arms and reassure her I won’t let anything happen to her. But then I remember how easily she slipped through my fingers earlier. I let her down. Just as I did my parents, my sister, and my team. I’m in no position to make her any promises, so I don’t. Instead, I opt to let Ben handle what needs to be done.

“Nic. The papers.” Creed says, sounding defeated.

Reaching into her briefcase, she pulls out a red folder, which she hands to him. “If you’d prefer we do this in private, I can ask everyone to leave.”

“No,” Emilia answers defiantly. “Whatever he has to say, he can say it in front of my friends.”

With a hard swallow, he nods. “When this assignment came across my desk, I recognized it as the opportunity of a lifetime. The mission I’d trained for my entire career. The one that would bring me that much closer to completing my life’s work of avenging what happened to my sister. But… I also saw it as a case that would either make or break me. The risks were high. Too high when it came to you and the girls, which is why I made the decision to end our marriage. Emilia? Please look at me.”

When he pauses, I watch Embree closely. The ache in my chest grows as I’m forced to sit by while this asshole prepares to crush her.

“When I presented you with the divorce papers, I couldn’t tell you what was happening. The mission was classified. Plus, I never thought you’d fight me on it.”

“You didn’t expect me to fight?” She snaps as if slapped awake by his words. “You didn’t expect me to stand up and fight for our marriage? For our life? For our children?”

“No, that’s not… what I meant was that after two years of me constantly being away working cases, I thought you’d be okay with ending things. Especially since you’d already gotten used to being without me.” When she just sits there gaping at him like he’s shocked her into silence, Creed rushes on. “I might have gotten it wrong then, but not now. Now, after everything that’s happened, I need you to sign these.” Sliding the paperwork toward her, he says, “Today.”

“Emilia.” Jen leans forward, her hands clasped together in front of her. “We have mutual friends willing to not only backdate the divorce filings but also to create a paper trail that should offer you and the girls some protection.”

“I recognize how hard this is, but I have to be honest,” Creed tells Embree. “The chances of me making it out of this alive are almost nonexistent. I’ve come to terms with that. That being said, I refuse to allow the repercussions of my actions to affect you or the girls. To do that, we need to sever all connections the three of you have to me. It’s why aside from the divorce papers, I’d like to ask Ben…” Turning his attention to him, he drops yet another bomb. “I need you to adopt my girls.”

The room erupts in gasps of disbelief, the loudest coming from Embree, who stands with her arms leaning over the table as if she needs it for support. “What?”

“Emi, Creed thinks it’s best that he voluntarily terminate his parental rights to the girls,” Nic explains.

“Why? How could you do this? They’re your daughters. They know who you are. How would I ever explain it to them?”

“I know that. Don’t you think I know that?” He’s exasperated, his face red and anguished as he stares Embree down. “If there was any other way, I wouldn’t do this, but there isn’t. They can’t be connected to me. This is going to end badly and when it does, the media, the world… they’ll see me as a traitor. A man who not only betrayed the federal government and the oaths he made to defend it, but also a man so despicable, that he participated in the sale, degradation, and exploitation of human beings.” With a pained breath, he collapses back into his seat and then rubs the palms of his hands over his eyes.

It takes him a few seconds to regain his composure, and when he does he adds, “Creed Preston is done for. And anyone connected to him will become fair game, as the media, victims’ organizations, families of the victimized, and those desperate enough for vengeance aim to extract their pound of flesh from those I love. I won’t let that happen.”

His pain is palpable. His eyes shine with heartbreak, but it’s hard to feel sorry for the guy, especially as I try to stomach the look of utter devastation on Emilia’s face.

“Plus, you’ve seen what I’ve become. The only way to beat them was to become them.” As if ashamed, he drops his gaze. “Unfortunately, there’s no coming back from that. You’d be smart to keep them away from me.”

As the room falls into silence, my thoughts hang on his words. “You’ve seen what I’ve become. The only way to beat them was to become them. You’d be smart to keep them away from me.” It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as memories of my time at war come rushing back. War and desperation have a way of bringing out the worst in humanity. As a soldier, I’ve seen it firsthand, not only in the enemy but within our ranks. I’ve been privy to the way the most vulnerable among us are used and abused as a means to an end. Sacrificed, often without remorse, for causes deemed greater than the worth of a human life.

It changes you. Even standing on the side of good, you never forget, especially as the line between good and evil is often blurred. Knowing what I do about his line of work, I can only imagine the things he’s seen, never mind what he’s had to do to survive in that world. Then, as I remember the wet, lacy fabric in my pocket, my stomach turns. His reference to her seeing what he’s become paints a terrifying picture that sends fiery rage burning through my bones. Clenching my fists, I take slow, deep breaths, knowing that to get her out of this place and back to safety, I must remain in control.

“This is the only way.” Nic’s voice breaks through my thoughts. “In the state of Pennsylvania, for a parent to relinquish parental rights, someone else must claim responsibility for the child. It’s why we need Ben’s help.” Though the words are meant for Embree, her eyes remain trained on her brother.

“Uh. Creed, I’m flattered, really, I am. But I can’t make a decision like this without my wife. Plus, we’d need time to discuss it. To think it through and figure out if it’s something we can commit to.”

The room falls silent again, amplifying the quiet sobs coming from Embree, who’s crying into her hands. Unable to help myself, I go to her. Crouching next to her chair, I rub what I hope are soothing circles along her back.

“I’m afraid we don’t have that kind of time, bro. We have a brief window. Five hours to turn the paperwork over to the people who will process and create the paper trail we need to make this look legit,” Nic adds.

“Then my answer is no. I can’t do it. Creed, you have to understand. We haven’t shared this with many people yet but, Jen and I have a baby coming. A decision like this would have consequences that could put my own family at risk,” Ben explains.

“You don’t have to do this, Ben.” Emilia looks up from her hands, tears streaming down her face. “I agree, it’s too much. I don’t need anyone to adopt the girls. Let’s just sign what needs to be signed, and I’ll take full responsibility for them.”

“Emi,” With a gentle tone, Nic lays a hand over Emilia’s. “Someone has to adopt them. We can’t legally terminate his rights without someone else stepping up. It’s the law and the only way this will work.”

“Then let me. I’ll do it.”

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 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note:

While Creed’s choices are the reason Emilia and the girls are in danger, it’s hard not to feel sorry for him. Creed’s backstory is incredibly sad and will be revealed in its entirety toward the end of the series when he gets his own set of books—and his much-deserved happily ever after.

In short, his twin sister was kidnapped by traffickers when they were teenagers, and several years later was found dead. Creed never recovered from the loss and instead chose to dedicate his life to the pursuit and apprehension of those who traffick and exploit humans.

It’s what led him to abandon his family and take on this last assignment. While one may not justify the other, there’s no denying Creed’s motivations don’t make him a bad guy.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Do you see Creed as the bad guy or just another victim? Also, would love to know who you think has volunteered to adopt the girls.

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

# Chapter 4

Lucas

"Then let me. I'll do it." Where it comes from, I don't have a clue. All I know is I'm still crouched down next to Emilia when I blurt the words. Before I can second guess myself, I look into those sad whiskey eyes and say, "Embree, please let me do this for you. For them. I can help."

"No! That's not happening." Creed stands abruptly, as Nero growls and bears his teeth from where he sits at my side.

With a hand on Creed's chest, Agent Hunt attempts to calm him. "Creed. It has to be done, you said so yourself."

"Are you kidding me? I don't know this guy. I haven't a clue who the fuck he is and you expect me to hand over my wife and kids to him?"

"His name is Lucas Holt. He's Jen's brother and I can vouch for him. He's a good guy, Creed," Ben tries to reassure him.

"Of course he is..." He shakes his head, throwing it back as he laughs incredulously. "God, that explains so fucking much." With a pained expression he lowers his gaze, then fixes Emilia with a cold, hard glare. "Tell me then, Emilia, if he's such a good guy, why did he leave you the way he did? And where the hell has he been all these years?"

That's it!

Standing I give Nero the signal to stay, then I step into Creed's space. "This is about what you did! I may have left her first, but I was only a 17-year-old kid. You, on the other hand, abandoned the family you created and should have protected until your dying breath. You walked away, leaving them to live with the consequences of the mess you made. It's why you no longer have a say. From this point forward, all choices belong to her, so back the fuck up and learn your goddamn place."

When Creed attempts to take a swing at me, Agents Hunt and Halder step in to restrain him. Ignoring the scuffle that ensues, I return to Embree's side and squat down so we're at eye level.

Taking her hand, I ask, "Sweetheart, what do you want to do? Whatever comes next is your call." Her eyes are vacant, and she's no longer crying. When she shrugs, I know she's lost in her thoughts. "Embree, listen to me. You're the one in control here. Tell me what you want and I promise you, I will make it happen."

Like he knows what I'm trying to do, Nero lays his head on her lap.

"I want this to be over." Her eyes are a pool of emotion, as with her free hand, she reaches down to pet Nero.

"Tell me. What does that mean?"

"I'm ready," she says in a whisper. "I'll sign the divorce papers and whatever else they need."

"You got it. What about the girls?"

"Will you...?" She pauses while a lone tear slips down her cheek.

"I told you, whatever you need, I will do." I give her a warm smile, even as apprehension prickles down my spine. God, I hope neither of us comes to regret this.

"Now hold on a second," Ben interrupts. "Someone please explain to me how this solves our issue with the FBI."

"Glad you asked." Maxine steps toward Ben and with a bright smile hands him an envelope. "It's a flash drive with evidence taken straight from bureau servers. It includes email exchanges and other documentation between parties who were coerced into manufacturing the evidence used by the judge to issue the surveillance warrants on Emilia. Get this to OPR the same way you gave them the audio file from Kessler's visit to her house. Tell them you don't know the source of the information, only that it was mailed to your office anonymously."

Stepping back to where Hunt is still struggling to contain Creed, she adds, "There's enough there to end Agent Kessler's career, as well as a few others, including a federal judge. After that, we doubt anyone at the Bureau will bother her again. All we ask is you wait 24 hours. By then, the divorce and pertinent paper trail will be filed and uploaded, leaving no doubt that Creed and Emilia's relationship ended several months before he took this assignment."

"Wait, one problem. Three years ago, I was a SEAL on active duty, running ops in the Middle East. How are you going to explain me adopting the girls while I was in theatre?" I ask, looking from the Agents over to Nic.

"I'll need your service records," Nic answers. "The simplest way would be to stage it to look like the custody change for the girls happened more recently. Emilia believed her husband wouldn't return, so she took steps to help her move on." Cringing, she looks at Creed. "I'm sorry, but unfortunately the paperwork will have to show your parental privileges were stripped, not that you gave them up."

Shaking his head, Creed collapses back into his seat. He looks noticeably upset but doesn't say a word.

For the next 30 minutes, I watch helplessly as Nic goes over the terms of the paperwork with Embree and Creed. Hearing the personal details of their life together feels like an invasion of their privacy. Excusing myself, Nero and I go back into the living room and take a seat. Pulling out my phone, I distract myself by checking my email. Shortly after, both Mason and Dominick excuse themselves and go outside. Ben, however, takes a seat on the couch next to me.

"You doing okay?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I tuck my phone back into its holster at my waist. "Just wondering how a guy can walk away from his family like this."

"Don't judge him too harshly. He's not that much different from us. Think about it, you gave up 13 years of your life to fight for your country. Putting the needs of it before everything, including yourself and everyone you love. How's that any different from what he's doing?"

"For starters, he shouldn't have started a family if this is the life he wanted. Once he did, his commitment should have been to them, not the job."

"Seriously? You're going to sit there and tell me the men you served with, most of whom had wives and children, were wrong for leaving their families each time they deployed? You can't really believe that."

"Not the same. The military is the military. We all know what we signed up for, including spouses and families. But this? No one forced him to do this. He chose it when he could have just as easily said no. He was reckless and put his family in harm's way. If I had what he has and was given the choice to keep them or follow a mission, I'd say fuck the mission."

"Well, based on what happened in there, you'll now have part of what he had. Sure you're up for it? I mean, these are kids who will someday grow up. They'll have expectations of the man who went to great lengths to take over their father's role. Are you sure you want to take that on without so much as a conversation about what that will look like? Not trying to talk you out of it, but maybe you and Emilia should discuss it before this goes any further."

He's right. But at the end of the day, it's not my place to bring it up or place any demands around it. 

"I agree. But discussing it doesn't change that Creed is right. We have to get the three of them free and clear from the trouble attached to him. Plus, Embree is their mother. I'll let her dictate the role she wants me to take in their lives. I'll never push for more or less than she needs from me."

"Even if that means sticking it out in Ruby Creek permanently? You know, for visitations and spending time with them like a real dad. What if that's what she ends up wanting? Are you sure you can give those girls everything they deserve? Or hell, do you even want to?"

Considering his question, I take a deep breath. The truth of the matter is, I'm not sure that I'm ready to be a father. As of an hour ago, it's something I didn't think was possible. In the years I was in the military, I never saw it as an option, given my frequent travels and the dangers I faced on a continual basis. And in the sixteen months since getting out, it's been all about my recovery and readjustment to civilian life.

Up until I arrived in this town, I didn't think I could handle being amongst people, let alone consider the prospect of a family. But now, as I sit here thinking back to everything Embree has endured on her own, I can't help but want to take some of the burden off her shoulders. And while yes, I'm doing this mainly to help her, in the short time I've been around them, I've grown to care about those two little girls.

I want what's best for them, and by doing this, it'll give me a chance to teach them their worth. An opportunity to show them what it's like to truly be loved, respected, and wanted. I'll get to show them how a man is supposed to care for his family, putting them first always, even above himself.

"I think I do want this. I feel it in my gut that this is the right thing to do. I'm not big on fate, and I sure as hell don't trust the universe, but what if this is my chance to make amends for my mistakes?"

"These are kids, though, Lucas. They're not your second chance, they're your only chance. You mess this up, and it screws them up for life. Fuck, why anyone puts themselves through this shit, I'll never understand." He shakes his head as he looks at the ground in front of him.

"Are we talking about me adopting the girls, or you and Jen bringing a life into the world?"

"I don't know, man. I just feel like there's so much that can go wrong. I mean, you know how fucked up this world is. Isn't it selfish to bring a kid into it, and expect them to rise above it all? Even I don't have that kind of self-control, so how could I expect my child to do something I can't? Plus, how the hell do I keep them safe, when at every turn there's danger and pain?"

We both turn our attention to the conversation happening in the small kitchenette. Embree's posture is defeated, and Creed's not much better as Nic speaks to them in soothing tones. Regardless of the animosity I feel towards him, I can't deny the guy cares about his family. This situation is gutting them both, but in the end, it's Embree who gets to go home to the sphere of joy and innocence that surrounds the girls. There's something to be said for the love, energy, and spark one feels when in the presence of a child.

"You're right. It's scary as fuck, but I'd like to think we have as much to learn from them as they do from us. They teach us how to love and live without abandon, while we can teach them that there's life beyond the danger and pain. Plus, if we show them how to forgive, hopefully, they'll turn that shit our way when we inevitably screw things up."

Want to read ahead? The next 
2 Chapters are available FREE
 if you F
OLLOW ME on REAM
!!! (Link in my profile)

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

I love the way Lucas stands up for Emilia while giving her the space to choose what's best for her!
 He is a "Protector" in every sense of the word, and I do believe he intends to be there for Embree and the girls in whatever capacity they need.

As far as his interaction with Ben, this is the first time we see him offering Ben advice. It's an unusual exchange given that Ben is typically the one with the answers. I love Lucas's perspective on raising children and I can't wait to watch these two men come into parenthood together.

So what are your thoughts on this chapter? Do you think Ben's right when he mentioned that Lucas and Emilia should have a deeper conversation before proceeding with the adoption? Also, am I the only one who's still hurting for Creed?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 5

Emilia

As I sit in my living room staring at the collage of family photographs that adorn the walls, I can’t stop thinking of the future that’s no longer promised to me. The future where Creed and I would dedicate ourselves to raising happy, healthy girls. Together, we were supposed to watch them grow up. Graduate from school. Get married. Bring our grandbabies into the world. Then there are the family vacations we were supposed to take. The quiet moments spent at home as a family of four, sprinkled among holidays and family traditions, the girls will never get to experience.

That’s all gone now. The life we planned snuffed out of existence with the stroke of a pen like it never mattered. As if it wasn’t everything I’d ever wanted. Signing those papers did more than put an end to my marriage. They left me gutted. My hopes for the future were scooped out and replaced by this empty black hole in the center of my being. Now I see nothing but a dark void that shadows all the tomorrows headed our way. I’ve never felt more lost. More alone. More empty than I do right now.

How could he do this? He was there from the start. He helped build every part of this life. He was so taken aback when we found our dream home, he dropped to one knee and proposed. He carried me over the threshold after the wedding, whispering his vows and sweet promises of forever.

I still remember the tears in his eyes when they handed him our firstborn daughter, and he realized for the first time he was a father. He loved me. He loved our girls. Of that, I have no doubt, no matter how hard he’s tried to convince me otherwise. It’s why I can’t rationalize what happened to the man I married to turn him into the stranger I left behind in that old hunting cabin.

“You okay?” Lucas asks as he takes a seat on the other end of my cream-colored couch. His hair is still wet from the shower, making it look darker than its usual golden brown. “What? What’s that look for?” he asks, tapping his foot against mine playfully.

“Your hair…” I fake a smile, making certain it reaches my eyes. I’ve had years of practice perfecting this very smile. It’s all the reassurance most people need to move on, which keeps them from seeing the sadness that sticks to me like sludge that won’t wash off.

“What’s wrong with it?” The way he runs a hand through it is adorable and reminds me of the uncertain 17-year-old boy I once knew.

“Nothing. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen your hair wet. You always had the most beautiful ringlets.”

When he looks away sheepishly, I’m reminded of everything he did for us today. As difficult as it was to have my marriage implode in front of him, I’m glad he was there. His presence helped ground me. He kept me focused on what needed to be done and provided the framework to help me feel safe. It’s because of him and the choices he put before me that I left the cabin feeling like I had some semblance of control over what happened.

The unfortunate effect of him being there is that now he’ll stick around out of some sense of obligation. Especially given the adoption papers he signed, even as their purpose was only a means to an end. A way to separate Creed from the girls so they’d be safe. Knowing Lucas as I do, leaving town after the adoption fiasco will prove difficult for him. He’s a man of conviction. Someone who holds himself to a strict code of always doing what is right.

“Thanks for today.” When I notice he’s about to brush me off, I press on. “No, please. Let me get this out.”

“Okay then, go on,” he smirks, though the way he averts his gaze speaks to how uncomfortable this conversation is making him.

“Thank you. I can’t tell you how much it meant to have your support today. The way you stepped up for me and the girls, I’ll never be able to repay you.”

“But?” He runs a hand over the back of his neck.

“But I want you to know this doesn’t have to change anything. Signing those papers was more about severing the girls’ connection to their father, not about finding someone to replace him. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you don’t have to stick around regardless of what those papers say. I know you did it to help us because there was no other choice.”

“No Embree,” he turns in his seat to face me. “That’s where you’re wrong because I had a choice. I didn’t have to do it, but I did it for you. For them. That it was the right thing to do only played a small part in my decision. And I’m not asking to be their dad if that’s not what you want. I’ll follow your lead and do whatever you’re most comfortable with. But know, if you want me to be more than just the guy on their adoption forms, I’m here and I’d be honored to be a part of their lives.”

I can’t say I’m surprised. He’s an honorable man, so saying the right things to put me at ease is exactly what I would expect. If this was about anything other than the girls, I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, and taken his words in stride. But because it involves my children, I must approach this with a healthy dose of caution. As their mother, it’s up to me to protect them from being abandoned yet again.

“I appreciate that, but I think you should remain their Uncle Lucas. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll find a way to explain what’s happened. When the time is right, I’ll let them know how you stepped in to help when their dad couldn’t. I think it’s what’s best given how painful the truth is. As their mom, I’d like to shield them from the pain that comes with feeling abandoned. At least until they’re old enough to cope and grow from it. Plus, after what their father did, I can’t take the chance of them getting attached to another man who might leave them.”

Though he tries to hide it, I can see my words hurt him. “Whatever you think is best. Just know I’m here if they need anything.”

“I’m sorry, Lucas. I don’t mean to bring up the past. It’s just that they deserve better and I can’t afford to make any more mistakes.” And that’s the crux of the problem. As their mother, it’s my job to do right by them and so far, I’ve failed them.

“Embree…” he pauses. His mouth opens then closes like he’s trying to work out what to say, but I’m not sure there’s anything he could say to ease the awkwardness that sits between us.

Needing to bring this misery to an end, I rise from the couch. “Can I get you something to drink? Wine, beer, water?”

“A beer’s good.”

Relieved to make an escape, I rush to the kitchen while blinking away yet another round of useless tears. Why does it feel like I’ve traded away one failed relationship for another? Like Creed and Lucas are two ships passing in the night, and I’m a helpless buoy crushed between them. I’ve given my heart to both men, and neither has cherished me enough to protect it. They both broke my heart and moved on with their lives like I didn’t matter, and seeing them today only hammered home the fact I’ve never been enough for either of them to stay.

After pouring a glass of water for myself, I grab his beer and then set it on the counter. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. As much as I wanted Lucas to stay in town, maybe it’s best that he return to his own life. He doesn’t deserve the burden of my problems, and I for sure would be better off without his constant presence, which only serves as a reminder of how inadequate I am.

With one last swipe at the moisture in the corner of my eyes, I pull my shoulders back and force myself to smile. I’m okay. Everything’s going to be okay.

Creed left us long before today. The difference this time is that I know with absolute certainty, he’s not coming back. It’s time to move on. I’m free. Free from the uncertainty of a missing spouse and free from a past left unresolved. Plus, I have my girls. They are my light. My why. The two shining stars in the darkened sky. They are the answer to getting through this, so that’s where my focus needs to be.

When I return to the living room with drinks in hand, I stop in my tracks at the sight of him. He’s right where I left him. Only now he’s slumped forward, sitting on the edge of the couch as his hands run through his hair in a gesture that tells me something is wrong. Clearing my throat to give him a heads up that I’m back, I set our drinks on the coasters at the coffee table before reclaiming my seat.

“Everything alright?” I ask, though I’m not sure I want to know the answer.

“Yep, just thinking,” he mutters, as he reaches for his beer and then takes a long pull.

“I’m sorry for everything that happened today, especially for leaving with him the way I did. I should have told you it was him on the phone back at my agent’s office. Thank you for coming after me, though if I’m honest, I wish you hadn’t seen me like that…” I’m rambling thanks to the tension rolling off of him in waves. It makes his silence all the more oppressive and pushes up against my need to ease the strain that brews between us like a thick cloud of doubt and distrust.

“Embree, what happened?” he interrupts. Pulling his hand out of his pocket, he opens his fist, and there in the middle of his palm are the lace panties he took from me at the cabin.

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Author's Note:

In this chapter, we see Emilia regressing a bit, as she goes back to hiding behind the mask that didn't quite serve her during the three years Creed was gone.
  From what we've seen in previous chapters, we know Lucas can read her emotions so the fact he's not calling her out on it speaks to how uncomfortable he is after everything that's happened.

What do you think Lucas is thinking throughout this chapter? Can you imagine how mortified and ashamed Emilia must feel when she sees the lacy fabric on his palm?

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Chapter 6

Emilia

My eyes well up with emotion as memories of what happened assault my senses, bringing back the shame and humiliation I thought I’d already washed away. It’s the first thing I did when we got home. I turned the water in the shower as hot as I could take it, to scrub away all evidence of that cabin and my time with Creed.

I never should have let things get that far. After everything he did—the way he left us, and didn’t reach out to let me know he was okay or to warn me we were in danger—I should have stood my ground. I should have made it clear I’m not the same woman he left, and I should have demanded his respect. Instead, I let my desperation to be loved, my need to feel wanted, rise above all common sense. And by the time I realized my mistake, it was too late. I let him take yet another piece of me. Let him use me when deep down I knew he’d only leave me again.

Snatching the panties from his hand, I race to the kitchen. Dropping the offending garment into the trash, I pull the bag from the can so I can tie it closed. Determined to rid myself of every last piece of what happened today, I march toward the back door with the bag of trash in hand.

Just as I get there, he reaches for me. Grabbing me by the arm, he spins me around to face him, while in the same breath, he takes the bag of trash from my hand. With my tear-filled eyes locked onto his, he backs me up onto one of the stools at the kitchen island.

“Sit and don’t move. I’ll take care of this, but when I come back, you and I are going to talk.” When I drop my gaze to my hands which wring nervously on my lap, he demands, “Answer me, Emilia. Tell me you understand.”

I’m grateful when he accepts a nod and then leaves me. At the sound of the back door closing behind him, a small sob breaks through my lips. What happened between Creed and me is bad enough, but the thought of reliving it in a conversation with Lucas is just too much. Unfortunately, there isn’t enough time to come up with an alternative, for within seconds, he is back at my side.

Taking the stool next to me, he spins the seat, so he is facing me. Then, with his muscular arms, he pulls my stool in his direction, until my legs are caught between his. There’s no way out. He’s leaving me with no choice but to face the consequences of what I’ve done. It would be humiliating, if not for the concern in his eyes as he scrutinizes my face.

“Tell me. What happened before we got there?”

“He didn’t rape me, if that’s what you think.” The statement comes out more forceful than I intended, driven in part by the way he’s looking at me. The conclusion he’s come to is dead wrong, and I can’t let that go unaddressed.

“If that’s true, then why were you so upset when I found you? Matter of fact, why are you so upset now?” He asks with a hard glare that proves he doesn’t believe me.

Feeling cornered, I lift my chin in defiance. Then, with rage pulsing through my veins, I inadvertently spew all my self-loathing in his direction. “Because I let him use me and I was ashamed! Because in my desperation to be touched, to feel loved and wanted, I forgot he’s one of the reasons I feel so worthless. And I knew it. Deep down I knew he would leave me shattered yet again, but by the time I tried to stop, it was too late.” What starts as yelling ends in a whimper, and just as I finish, he pulls me hard against his chest.

“It’s never too late to say no, Embree. Never. And if that fucking bastard doesn’t know that by now, then maybe it’s time someone teaches him the lesson.” He growls into my hair, his arms squeezing around me as his racing heart pounds against my ear.

“It wasn’t like that, I swear.” I sob. God, I need him to believe me, for I cannot bear even the remote possibility there is any truth to his accusation. “I just…I made a mistake.” I pull back to look at him, putting as much sincerity into my eyes as I can muster. Reaching for his face, I take a second to soak in the feel of the soft hairs of his beard against my skin. “I swear on my girls, Lucas. He didn’t rape me. I just got lost in the moment and didn’t see it for the mistake it was until it was too late. I messed up.”

Having to admit that out loud and to Lucas, of all people damn near kills me. Closing my eyes, I swallow down the lump in my throat, hoping it’s enough to keep me from falling apart. As if he’s working through the same painful feelings, he drops his forehead to mine. With my hands still on his face, I’m surprised by the feeling of moisture running through my fingers. Opening my eyes to confirm the tears are his, my heart nearly breaks at the sight. His eyes are closed and his expression is pained as yet another tear trails down his face. His anguish is a mirror of my own, which sends a pang of guilt stabbing at my chest. Pulling him closer, I lay my head back over his heart.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m so sorry for involving you in this at all.” It’s a desperate plead for his forgiveness.

Kissing the top of my head, he sweeps a comforting hand through the back of my hair. “You didn’t hurt me, Emb. I hurt because, for 85 god-awful minutes, I thought I lost you. After promising I’d keep you safe, I let you slip through my fingers. I let him take you from me and in the process, he hurt you. That’s why I hurt Embree. Because all of this is on me. I’m the one who failed you.”

“You didn’t,” I interrupt, knowing the dark path his thoughts are leading him. “You didn’t fail me. Look at me, Lucas.” I grab his hands and hold them against the sides of my face so he can feel me. “I’m right here because you came for me. You didn’t give up. You saved me. I’m safe and it’s all thanks to you.”

“It isn’t. He led us to you.”

“It doesn’t matter. None of that matters. The only thing that does is that you came into that cabin and you saved me. And then by signing those papers, you saved my girls, and that’s something I’ll forever be grateful for.” As if resigned, he gives a slight nod.

Removing his hands from the sides of my face, he takes mine in his. “I’ll agree with your assessment of the situation if you agree to never again apologize for involving me in what’s happening. Because Embree, there is nowhere else I’d rather be. No matter how bad things are, or how bad things get, every moment spent with you is a moment I will never, ever regret.”

“I really want to believe that,” I tell him honestly, as my heart reminds me of all the ways he’ll eventually let me down.

“It’s for the best you don’t believe me, sweetheart. After what I did, I don’t want you to let me off easy. I’d rather prove it to you.” Pulling back, he looks down at me. “Promise me something.” When I nod, he says, “Don’t decide yet on this thing with the girls. Give me a little time. Let me prove I can be the man they deserve. Let me show you I’m in this Emb. That if given the opportunity, I can be the man you can trust and rely on.”

Nodding again, I close my eyes and lean against him. The sound of his heart soothes away some of the hurt and fills me with the tiniest bit of hope. We’re a long way off from getting to what he wants, but if there’s one thing young 17-year-old Lucas was known for, was his word.

“You’re going to be okay, Embree. I’ll make sure of it. Whatever you need, say the word and I’ll make it happen.”

“Maybe you can start by helping me figure out what’s wrong with me. Why every man I’ve ever loved has left me.” I regret the words even as they come pouring out. Here he is supporting me. Helping me through an impossible situation and there I go throwing our past back in his face, even after I told him I’d forgiven him. “God, what is wrong with me? I shouldn’t have said that. I’m so…” Mortified, I attempt to push away, but he refuses to let me go.

“Stop. It’s okay. I hurt you. I know I did, and it’s something I’ll regret for the rest of my life. But I need you to know that every day I was away from you, I missed you. Every night I closed my eyes, it was you I saw. Whenever I was scared or sad, it was thoughts of you that brought me some semblance of peace. And in my worst moments, whenever I felt hopeless, I’d close my eyes and picture a future with you. No matter how much time passed, I could never let you go, Embree.” He pauses for a moment and then lets out a sigh.

“And if that is the impression you left on a stupid 17-year-old kid, I can only imagine the torture Creed is living through. All I got was one night, Embree. He had all of you for years. Trust me on this. While he may not allow himself to dwell on it, he’s hurting. And he’ll spend the rest of his life wishing he’d made a different choice. Just like I did, and still do, every single day of my life.”

“What would you have done differently?” I ask, the 16-year-old girl inside of me needing to hear as her heart fills with warm embers of hope.

“I wish I could say that never leaving you was an option, but it wasn’t. If I had stayed, there’s no telling what child services would have done with me and God forbid Jenny. But, if I had the chance to do things differently, I would have come back for you when I turned 18. At the very least, I would have reached out and asked you to wait for me.”

“I wish I had waited,” I admit wistfully. “For a long time, I did. Five years. Until I met Creed, and by then I think I was just tired of waiting. I was so incredibly lonely.”

“I’m sorry you felt that way, but never apologize for moving forward and building a life of your own. It’s because of him you have those two amazing little girls.” He reassures me. Pulling away, he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Come, let’s take this to the living room.”

Grabbing my hand, he pulls me back to the couch. Sitting close, he loops his arm around me and I lean into his side. I don’t know for how long we sit there in silence, but it’s like we’re both soaking in the warm comfort that’s so familiar.

When he clears his throat, he confesses, “There’s something I want to tell you, but I don’t know if it’s appropriate. It’s something I never talk about, but…”

When he trails off, I reach for his hand. “Tell me. Whatever it is, I want to hear it.” Uncertainty flashes over his face as he looks at me. It’s like he’s trying to gauge if I’m ready for whatever it is he has to share. With a gentle squeeze of his hand, I implore, “Please. Tell me.”

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Author's Note:

I love that Lucas pushes her to talk about what happened.

 Especially as Emilia's tendency is to sweep her problems under the rug and pretend they never happened. 

I'd love to know what you think of this scene. Are you surprised Emilia opened up to him and told him the truth?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 7

Emilia

He swallows hard and takes a few seconds as if he’s finding the courage to go on.

“A little over 18 months ago, my team and I were running a mission just outside Kandahar in Afghanistan. There were eight of us, plus Nero. We didn’t know it at the time, but the intel we received was bad and led straight into an ambush. I was the person in charge, so I took lead and commanded those who could to get themselves to safety. Three of my men made it out, but me, four of the guys and Nero were captured.”

Captured?

I can’t help the gasp that escapes me. He must feel the tension rising in my body, for he adjusts his hold to pull me in closer. Nero, who must sense the growing unease, stands from where he slept on the floor to lay his head on Lucas’s knee.

“It’s okay. I’m alright. We’re all alright,” he soothes with a faraway look in his eyes.

As I process what he’s said, my stomach sinks. I want to believe he is in fact okay, but since those are the same words he uttered that day at the park as he recovered from a panic attack, it’s clear the soothing words are meant more for him than Nero and me.

I could tell from the moment we ran into each other in that grocery store parking lot, he’d been through something terrible. Back then, I assumed the sadness that still shrouds him after all these years was linked to his parent’s death. But, after witnessing his panic attack and now hearing about his capture, a terrifying picture has come to light.

I’ve seen the news stories. The harrowing tales of the things our soldiers endure while fighting for our country. To think of him, the boy I loved, suffering through those circumstances floods my mind with images of the terror he must have endured. The pain. The fear. And to think all the while we were here, living our lives completely unaware of what he was living through on the other side of the world. It tears me up inside and reminds me it was me who failed him. Me, who didn’t do enough to keep him in Ruby Creek where he belonged.

“For 28 days, the guys and I were tortured and beaten. As the team lead, I was deemed more valuable than the others, so I was forced to watch as one by one, three of my brothers were eventually killed. The fourth, Brian, who was Nero’s handler, died from his injuries as I held him in my arms.” His voice breaks suddenly, and his anguish over what transpired is palpable. “I was the only one left when rescue came,” his voice is gruff and unrecognizable. Giving him the space to compose himself, I curl up closer to his side and lay my hand on his chest.

“I was in such terrible shape that as the medics worked on me, they couldn’t help but voice their shock that I was still alive despite my injuries. At one point, I remember them saying they didn’t think I’d survive medical evac, let alone the extensive procedures I’d need to put me back together. Yet, I did survive. And throughout my recovery, I was asked over and over how the hell I endured so much for so long, and still come through on the other side.” After letting out a heavy sigh, he leans over and kisses the top of my head.

“It was you, Embree. Every time I felt like giving up, it was you that came into my thoughts. My mind conjured up a life with you, along with scenarios of coming home to you. To our kids and our home. At my worst moments, you’d come into my dreams and beg me to fight. You’d demand I stay alive and made me promise that I’d make it home to you. Overwhelmed by pain and the agony of what I’d experienced, my mind created this fantasy life that revolved around you. It became the place I could go to escape the waking nightmare of my captivity. There was no pain there, no death, only comfort, joy, and love. That’s what kept me alive all that time, imagining the life I built with you.”

I don’t realize I’m crying until he reaches out to wipe away the moisture from my cheek. I’m so overwhelmed by what he went through and the depths of comfort he found just by imagining a life with me, that I don’t know what to say. Especially as I too spent so much of my life imagining what could have been had the fire that killed his parents never happened. Not only was he my first love, but he’s also the only person who’s ever felt like mine. Like he completes me in every way. Like he’s the other half of this missing piece of my soul. So if what he’s saying is true, could this mean that he feels the depth of our connection too?

Not ready to dig into that just yet, I elect to hold on to the feelings of doubt that, to this point, have served as a shield. There are holes in his story. Facts that contradict the depths of what the experience meant to him.

“If that’s true. If I’m the reason you survived, then why didn’t you come back afterward? Why didn’t you do as you promised, and come home to me?” It’s an unfair question. Believe me, I know, but consider this my half-hearted attempt to prove his revelation changes nothing.

It takes a few seconds, but after clearing his throat, he says, “When I woke up in that hospital, the first person I asked for was you. It’d been days since the rescue and I’d been kept in a drugged-induced coma because of a head injury. I was septic. My body was riddled with infection thanks to untreated wounds. Between the head injury, fever, and all the medication I was on, it hadn’t dawned on me that the life I thought I had with you wasn’t real. When they broke the news to me, I didn’t believe them. It took a couple of weeks before I finally accepted the truth. You weren’t mine. The life I thought I was coming home to didn’t exist.”

When he breaks into sobs and covers his face, I turn to face him. This time it’s me that pulls him into my arms. The devastation pouring straight from his soul strikes at my heart like a physical pain that steals my breath. I did this to him. I pushed him. Out of some cruel need to make him prove his feelings for me, I’ve gone and made him relive this unimaginable nightmare. He thought he was safe. That he’d kept his promise and survived, only to find out what he lived for didn’t exist.

“By the time I was discharged from the hospital and the rehabilitation program, it had been months. Physically, my injuries were extensive, and it took almost a year to recover. The brain injury, along with the psychological trauma, those have taken far longer and may never fully heal. I’m still messed up, Emb. All these months later, I’m still not the same man I was before everything happened. It didn’t feel right coming back to Ruby Creek in the shape I was in. I was barely surviving from one day to the next.”

When he pulls back, I let him go. Sitting back on the couch, he adjoins our hands and lays them on his thigh.

“Plus, it’d been so long by then. I’d been gone for well over a decade and I wasn’t sure you’d all welcome me back, especially with all the problems I now have. I was also terrified to find out you were married and happy with someone else, especially since in my subconscious, it felt like you were still mine. The experience left me feeling like I had lost you. Like you and the life we shared had been ripped out from under me. So the thought of you living the life I envisioned for us with another man was too much for my shattered mind to take.”

Shaking his head, he emits a self-deprecating laugh. “For god’s sake, it was all so real. I swear I can still remember the smell of your skin. The softness of your body and how it felt against mine. And your lips. I’ll never forget the way you tasted or the sounds you made when I kissed you breathless. It’s so hard to believe it was all in my head when I swear to all that is holy, nothing has ever felt more real.”

When I turn to look at him, I realize his eyes are locked on me. The intensity in his gaze, combined with his sensual words, reignites the fire that’s always burned between us. In that instant, I’m a 16-year-old girl again, desperately waiting to be claimed by the only boy I’ve ever wanted. The only boy who’s ever made me feel so completely whole.

“Then kiss me. Right now. Make it a real memory and see if what you imagined was based on some kind of premonition. Or maybe on the memory of our last night together.”

As if I’ve slapped him, he yanks his hand from mine. Leaning forward, he runs his hands over his face and lets out a hard breath. His reaction to my words is like a bucket of ice water has been poured on me, leaving me cold and desperate to disappear.

“Don’t, Embree.” His tone is sharp, almost angry if not for the tinge of hurt that comes through in the break of his voice. “Don’t ask that of me because you don’t mean it. You’re hurt, vulnerable, and grieving over everything that happened today. I won’t take advantage of you the way he did. If you and I ever get the chance to make those memories real, I want it to be because you want to be with me. Not because you’re trying to forget about him.”

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Author's Note:

This is the first time we hear Lucas discuss what happened to him during that last mission. 
His openness to share the story is about showing Emilia that he's never gotten over her. However, I believe this is the first true stepping stone toward their healing, given this is the first time Lucas has shared significant details of what he's endured in the years since he left Ruby Creek. 

I'd love to know what you think of this chapter. How do you feel about what happened between Emilia and Lucas? Are you surprised by what happened between them at the end?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 8

Lucas

“Christ, it’s like déjà vu,” I tell Nero, who stands stiffly in front of me, his eyes and ears focused on the door Embree walked through fifteen minutes ago. His pitiful whine confirms he feels much the same as I do.

This time though, it’s on me. I’m the one who insisted she get checked out. After what that asshole did yesterday, I needed someone more qualified to confirm she is in fact, all right. Thankfully, she agreed without much fuss and made an appointment with her gynecologist, who is another blast from the past, Hannah Blake.

She was a close childhood friend of Embree and my sister. Unlike Nic, who was wild as hell and loved to cause trouble, Hannah was timid and quiet. She spent more time with her head in a book than doing much of anything else. She was a good influence on the girls, which is why I never minded when she came around to hang out with us. That they’re all still friends makes me happy, for it means that while I was gone, my sister and Embree had a stable support system.

“What the hell’s taking so long?” I growl into the quiet waiting room. The sound must grab Nero’s attention, for he breaks away from his stare down with the door long enough to acknowledge me.

Sitting out here after what happened the last time is killing me. An endless loop of alarming possibilities keeps streaming through my thoughts, making it hard to sit still. Everything in me wants to go to her. To run through that door so I can see with my own two eyes that all is well. Part of my anxiety has to do with the way she slipped through my fingers yesterday, but the bigger part of my worry has everything to do with what he did.

I know what she told me, what she begged me to believe he didn’t do, but truth be told, I still want to kill him. She may not want to use the term rape to describe his actions, but it doesn’t change that he preyed upon her vulnerability in that cabin, after methodically isolating her from those who would protect her. He took advantage of her, knowing damn well he was there to break not only her trust, but her heart.

“Christ. That’s it, I’m done.” Standing, I tug on Nero’s lead, and he follows me to the reception desk. “Morning. Could someone go back there and check on Emilia Preston? I just need to make sure she’s alright.”

“Of course. One sec, let me check…” says the older woman as she turns back toward her computer screen. “It says here that Dr. Blake is with her now. They’re almost done. Would you like to come back and see for yourself?”

Fuck yes!

Except no, I can’t. As much as I want to, I’m not in a position where I can infringe on her privacy that way.

“No, that’s good enough. Thank you for checking.”

I knock on the desk twice before taking my leave and resuming our positions in the waiting room. Nero takes a seat by my feet, his eyes going back to the door that separates us from her. Thank fuck he’s here. With him at my side, I can rest a little easier knowing he’ll alert me the minute something feels off, just as he did at her agent’s office.

“Lucas? What are you doing here?”

Though I’m surprised to hear Jen’s voice, I’m thrilled when I turn and see her and Ben walking into the waiting area. Running into people I know is a new feeling, one I guess I’ll have to get used to.

“Hey you,” I stand to greet her and pull her in for a hug. “Embree had an appointment with Hannah. What are you guys doing here? Everything okay with the baby?” Suddenly worried, my eyes scan down to her still-flat stomach. Fear over my soon-to-be niece or nephew’s well-being is yet another unfamiliar feeling.

“Yes, everything’s great.” She smiles as she rubs her belly.

“Since I missed her last appointment, Hannah’s squeezing us in for a quick ultrasound so I can see the little slugger,” Ben adds as he wraps an arm around my sister and looks at her adoringly.

“Mrs. Chelsey, why don’t you come on back? Dr. Blake asked I check you in and get your vitals.”

“Oh, perfect,” Jen says to the receptionist before turning to Ben. “You wait here. I’ll make sure they call you back when we’re ready.” After a quick peck on Ben’s lips, she turns to me and wraps her arms around me. “It’s good seeing you, big brother. Any chance you’re free for dinner tonight? You can bring Emilia and the girls.”

“We’ll see,” I respond as she pulls away. “I’ll run it by Embree and get back to you.”

Standing side by side, Ben, Nero, and I watch as she too is swallowed up behind that same damn door. The same sinking feeling as before hits me, only this time doubled as the blanket of anxiety expands to include my sister and her unborn baby.

“How the fuck do you do this, man? Sit out here while she’s in there?” I ask Ben, as Nero and I resume our positions.

“Trust me, it ain’t easy.” Taking the seat across from us, he asks, “How’s Emilia doing?”

“Seems okay, considering. Thanks for keeping the girls’ last night. She needed the time to process everything that happened.”

“Anytime. We adore them, so it wasn’t a problem. Did it give you guys a chance to work out what all the changes mean for the girls?”

“She wants to keep things as they are for now. Says she’ll figure out a way to tell them eventually.”

“Makes sense. I already told the boys to keep it quiet, and I’ll let Emilia be the one to tell Jen when she’s ready. What about you, though?”

“What about me?” I ask, even knowing damn well what he’s hinting at.

“Did you talk about your involvement in their lives? You know, since legally you’re their adoptive father?”

“Kind of.” I fidget in my seat as I think back to our conversation and her concerns over me abandoning them. “We’re going to wait and see. For the foreseeable future, I’ll remain Uncle Lucas. At least until she figures out how to tell them.”

In my periphery, I see him nod his head before he too, turns his attention back to the door. “And you? How are you handling everything else? You know, with being back and all.”

Uncomfortable with this new line of questioning, I avoid his gaze and give him as little as possible. “I’m good.”

Awkward as fuck, the three of us sit in silence. The god-forsaken door stealing our attention like it’s the most interesting fucking thing in the goddamn universe.

“At 8 o’clock tonight, Owen is releasing the contents of that flash drive to OPR. It’s Saturday, so I suspect we won’t hear from them until Monday or Tuesday at the latest, but just in case I’ll work with Nic to set up a meeting. With everything we have, we can make the case that if they don’t back off, we’ll file a lawsuit on Emilia’s behalf. With any luck, this will all be over in the next week or two.”

I nod, silently taking in the information. While I hope things go as planned, in my experience, it’s best to assume they won’t. These are powerful people we’re dealing with, people who’ve shown they’re willing to bend the rule of law to suit their needs. Plus, they have access to government agencies that could make life very difficult for all of us. It would be stupid to assume people like that would take kindly to us gaming the system in our favor. Especially as they’d correctly surmise the evidence we have came from Creed. They would see it as an insult. Creed flexing his muscles and showing that he too can bend the system to his will despite their efforts. It might provoke them into a show of force that won’t end well for Emilia and her girls.

“We’ll have to up our security, Ben. People like this don’t like to lose. Forcing them to take Emilia off the board may only make them want her more.”

“So you don’t think they’ll give up? Even with everything we have?”

“If we were dealing with honorable, law-abiding citizens, then maybe. But from everything we know, they’re criminals who make money off the trafficking of human beings. In my experience, those who don’t value the most vulnerable amongst us won’t be playing by any rules.”

“You’re right. I’ll talk to the guys, and we’ll do what we have to.”

“What about Creed? Are you keeping in touch with him? It might help to know what he’s planning, and as much as it pains me to admit, we might need the help of his contacts should we find ourselves in trouble again.”

“Yeah. Agent Hunt is in touch with us. He asked to tap into Owen’s expertise since they’re effectively cut off from using FBI resources. They can’t take the chance someone will catch wind of what they’re up to.”

“Good. What about him? Hunt and that redhead can’t stay with him since they’re tied to their jobs and need to maintain their cover. Would you be opposed to sending Mason to offer backup? Between Zeb, James, and me, we’ve got Embree, and the girls covered. If we need another body, you or Dominick could always step in.”

He considers this for a moment, then nods in agreement. “I’ll have Owen work with Hunt to set it up. But remind me again, why are we helping Creed?”

“Because as much as I want to kill the bastard, he might be our only chance at staying ahead of this thing. If these people are as bad as he says they are, they won’t stop until everyone who could out them is dead and gone. That includes not just Creed, but Embree, the girls, and our families. All of us. As much as I don’t want to work with the guy, he might be the key to making sure we all stay breathing.”

“God, you’re such a fucking downer.” He lowers his head to his hands, roughly running them over his face. “Damn, I hate how right you are about this. Okay. We’ll do what we can.”

“I want to kill him, Ben. I want to wrap my fucking fingers around his throat and squeeze until…” I shake my head and fight to tamp down the red-hot rage that has me shaking. “What he did to her yesterday. He fucking hurt her. In that short time, he made certain we couldn’t get to her, and he took advantage of her. I can’t forgive that and I most certainly won’t forget it. Until this is over, I want you to keep him alive, but you better keep him the fuck away from me because if I see him, I will end him. That goes for Embree and the girls, too. He’s not to have any contact whatsoever with any of them.”

Through my rant, Ben’s eyes never leave me. The deep scowl on his face now matches the outright rage that rolls off of him in waves. “That’s why you’re here.”

Though I nod, I tell him, “I can’t say.”

“Fucking hell. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this, Luc?”

“Nothing. She handled it and says it was consensual but Ben, her reaction when we got to her. You fucking saw. He took advantage of her while she was vulnerable. As far as I’m concerned, he’s just as bad as the assholes he’s investigating. I’ll never trust him with Embree or those girls again. Never.”

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Author's Note:

Once again, Lucas and Nero are forced to sit outside in a waiting room while Emilia is out of their sight!
 After everything that happened the day before at her agent's office, I can't blame Lucas for worrying. His anger toward Creed is understandable and I admire how he's able to put all that aside for the moment to make the logical decision to offer him help and protection.

Are you surprised by Lucas' willingness to help Creed? I'd love to hear what you think about this chapter.

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For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 9

Emilia

“Everything’s going to be okay,” Hannah reassures as she pulls me in for a hug.

“Thank you.” I return her embrace, my eyes blinking rapidly to hide the tears I don’t want her to see.

Remembering the experience was humiliating enough, but then having to recount it for her has left me completely depleted. I’m grateful she allowed me to retell the story at my own pace, and in the end, she showed no judgment. Her concern and gentle affection went a long way toward making me feel better. That is until she began listing everything I was at risk of contracting after sleeping with a man I hadn’t seen in over three years. A man who on paper may have been my husband, but whose whereabouts and activities have been a mystery.

After discussing it with Lucas last night, I agreed that coming to see her today was a good idea. This is especially true since I’d stopped taking my birth control shortly after Creed left and therefore needed medication to ensure I don’t get pregnant. But as I sat there listening to the terrifying list of STIs, and potential side effects from the prophylactics she prescribed to prevent them, I couldn’t help the overwhelming devastation that turned me back into a weepy mess.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you. You deserve better.”

“Believe me, I know.” I pull back, turning to grab my purse from the chair.

“And don’t worry. I won’t say anything to anyone. I’m your doctor, so everything we discussed stays between us.”

“Thank you.”

“Here are your prescriptions, and here’s the morning-after pill. Be sure to take it with food as soon as you get home. Last but not least, here’s an appointment card. I’ll need to see you for follow-up testing in six weeks.”

Grabbing everything, I avert my eyes. I can feel the burn of humiliation simmering under my skin and it’s taking all my effort to walk out of this room like I’m not on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

When we get to the door that leads out to the waiting room, Hannah turns to me and asks, “Are you sure you don’t want to see Jen? She’s already in the room with Ben.”

Normally I’d jump at the chance of seeing my best friend, but the thought of facing Ben after everything that happened adds further insult to my humiliation. Plus, I’m not ready to tell Jen what happened with Creed, and chances are she’ll recognize something is wrong just from my reaction to her husband.

“I’m sure. I didn’t get much sleep last night, and I have to get back to the girls who I’m sure are driving Zeb and James bonkers by now.”

When she opens the door, I see Lucas rise to his feet. His worried eyes scan over me like I’m a piece of fragile porcelain and he’s looking closely to find my cracks.

“Everything good?” Deep worry lines mar his face, but it’s the apprehensive tension that’s lingered since I asked him to kiss me that hurts the most. His unease is apparent, even in the way he holds himself back from me while ignoring Nero who tugs at the end of the leash to get closer. Whether it’s from fear of the answer to his question or being around me, I can’t tell, but I have a sinking suspicion it’s the culmination of my mistakes yesterday that is to blame.

“Yep. There are a few prescriptions she’ll need to get filled before she gets home,” Hannah tells him, and then to me she says, “I’ll see you in six weeks for a follow-up. Remember, the details are on the appointment card I gave you.” Reaching out, she shakes Lucas’s hand and tells him. “It was great seeing you. Thanks for convincing her to come in.”

When we’re finally back in the car, silence smothers us once again. It’s the same stifling cloud of quiet that’s followed us since last night. His pulling away from me after I asked him to kiss me felt an awful lot like rejection, even as I understood his words. He thought I wanted to kiss him as a distraction from the hurt Creed inflicted, and maybe there was some truth in that. But I can’t help but wonder if, after all he’s seen, he can’t get past the mess I’ve made of my life. Maybe he’s repulsed by yesterday’s events, and I’ve forever tainted his image of the girl he once loved.

“I talked to Ben about the flash drive. They’re sending it to OPR tonight, and he and Nic plan to meet with them next week.”

“Who’s OPR again?” There are so many acronyms I can’t keep track.

“Office of Professional Responsibility. It’s the equivalent of internal affairs for the FBI. The plan is to hand over the evidence we got from Agent Maxine Halder, along with the footage of Kessler threatening you. The flash drive Halder gave us proves the evidence against you was falsified. It should be enough to get you cleared from their investigation.”

“So everything will be over soon?” I ask hopefully. My desire to return to some kind of normalcy is overwhelming, especially as I’ve yet to work out what our new normal will look like.

“Why, are you tired of us?” He looks over at me with a rueful smile.

“Just tired in general.” I sigh before turning back to watch the passing scene outside my window.

When his hand reaches for mine, I do my best not to cringe. Though I’d normally welcome his comforting touch, this time it feels an awful lot like pity. His attempt at consoling the poor broken girl because this is what the honorable Lucas does. It only adds to my indignity. It’s why I give his hand a gentle squeeze before pulling away. I can tell he’s confused by my reaction, probably because it’s the first time in all our lives I’ve pulled away from his touch.

Honestly, this is how it should have been from the moment he came back. Not only had he already broken my heart and abandoned me once, but I was a married woman when he returned. This awkward rift that now sits between us is for the best.

“I’m here for you, Embree,” he promises like he’s reading my thoughts. “I’m not going anywhere, not even if you tire of me.”

Though there’s a gentle teasing to his reply, my heart isn’t up for any more banter. I’m spent. Completely and utterly exhausted from fighting to hold on to things that aren’t meant for me. Maybe it’s time I accept the life I have, instead of yearning for a dream life that doesn’t exist. I need to focus on my daughters. On the life we have together, which includes great friends, and a job I love. We have a home. Stable finances. It’s everything we need and now that this mess with Creed is about to be resolved, it’s time I find a way to be happy.

“Until we have confirmation the FBI has backed off, nothing changes. But, we’ll do what we can to stay out of your way.” There’s something about the way he says this, that makes my hackles rise.

“Is there some reason they wouldn’t back off?”

“We’re just being cautious. There’s a lot of unknowns as it relates to what transpired between Creed and the FBI.”

“Is he gone?” I ask timidly, ashamed there’s a part of me that still cares for his well-being. I’m a damn fool.

After a few seconds, Lucas answers. “As far as I know. Ben’s in touch with Agent Hunt, and we talked about sending Mason to offer Creed some backup.”

Knowing they’re helping him fills me with an unexpected sense of relief. Why I care after everything he’s done is a question I’ll have to work through later. For now, my only job is to rein back the tears that threaten to give away how awful I feel.

“We’ll do what we can for him. Helping to exonerate him might be our best hope of permanently neutralizing the FBI.”

With no energy to consider his words, I regress deeper into my thoughts. When my awareness returns, we’re parked in my driveway. The car’s off, and Lucas is staring out the windshield. The ticking in his jaw is the only sign he’s working through what happens next.

“Embree,” he clears his throat. “About last night…”

“Don’t.” His reference to our dreaded interaction last night immediately sets me on edge. “I don’t want to talk about last night. Or yesterday. Or anything at all, for that matter. I need a second Lucas…” I scream at him. Overwhelmed and at the end of my rope, I beg him. “Please. I need a fricken second to just breathe!”

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Author's Note: 

Emilia is at her breaking point and I can't say I blame her.
 She's a mess of emotions as she deals with the aftermath of what happened with Creed, in addition to the overwhelming feelings she has for Lucas.

What do you think about this chapter?

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Chapter 10

Emilia

The first thing I notice is the pounding in my head. My eyes burn, even as they remain hidden behind swollen lids. With a forearm, I shield myself from the sunlight permeating through the bedroom window. I can remember a time when I welcomed the brightness of a new morning, but not today. Today I’d give anything to find myself surrounded by the darkness of night once again.

Sleep has become my greatest ally. A welcome reprieve from reminders of Creed and the mess he left behind. Every minute in this house is an exercise in perseverance, and I’m too tired to even pretend to try. It’s the reason I choose to ignore the dawn of a new day, instead I roll over onto my side with a pillow over my head.

Still, the pounding in my head continues. My body aches, likely from the weight of the depressive cloud that’s descended upon me. I’m sure the lack of food in my belly isn’t helping matters, but in my current state, I can’t stomach the thought of eating anything.

After four days of worrying, Lucas finally called in Hannah, who promptly made a house call. That was yesterday, and seeing her did little to improve my mood, let alone my lack of motivation. At least she gave Lucas the reassurance I was okay. That all I needed was a little time. It was enough to ease some of his concern, though it still lingers in his expression even as he tries to hide it from me. Whenever I see it, it just brings it all back. Everything I’m trying to forget. All the lies I didn’t see, and the foolish way I believed the promises that were made.

As I lay here feeling like my life has ended, I realize that none of this is about Creed. It’s a sad truth that I didn’t marry him for love. I married him for the stability he promised to provide and if I’m honest with myself, I married him with the hope that over time he’d fill the void Lucas left behind. I was so damn naïve it’s no wonder I’ve ended up here. Abandoned yet again after marrying the man who promised to piece me back together, after the man now offering me his protection wrecked me in the first place.

I just can’t help but wonder what was the point. All the years Creed and I were together, all the sacrifice and sleepless nights as I worried about him—his job, his safety—all while caring for our young children alone. What was it all for?

A vow?

An idea?

The cultural belief that marriage is forever and that the only way to a happy family is with a mom, a dad, kids, and a home full of pictures that show all the love but none of the heartache?

For 7 years I had exactly that and you know what? The happiness I found… it wasn’t truly real! Not entirely anyway. It was an illusion I created with staged family photos, a beautiful home with colorful walls, and a fake smile that served the dual purpose of convincing me, just as much as the rest of the world, that I was happy. That I had succeeded in my quest to provide the happy, healthy home my children deserved. The type of home my parents failed to provide for me.

“Emb, it’s seven. Are you waking the girls, or would you like me to?” Even in my depressive state, his voice—rough from sleep—awakens something deep inside of me. It’s a mere sliver of a feeling, not enough to break through the mental fog that’s consuming me.

“I’ll get them. I just need a minute.” It’s what I answer, on this day five of my new life. It’s the same answer I’ve given every time he’s come to wake me. I hate to admit it, but deep down I’m grateful when he ignores it and proceeds without me.

No sooner does he close my bedroom door than I hear him in the girls’ room. Their cheerful voices filter into the space and choke me up with emotion. Just days ago, those sounds would have filled my heart with joy, but now all I feel is numb. As though I’m living in suspension, not quite in my life, but not quite out. It’s an odd sensation. Like I’m this empty human vessel devoid of any feelings other than brokenness.

That my kids aren’t enough motivation to get me out of this bed is a huge red flag. I know I can’t stay here like this. Sad. Scared. Alone and content to wallow and drown in self-pity. I know I have to go on, if not for me, then for them.

But how?

I don’t know where to start. Where to pull my energy from. Try as I might, I can barely muster the strength to open my eyes, let alone climb out of this bed to find a path forward.

The tears I’ve come to hate return in earnest. The hopelessness in my heart renders me incapable of much else other than lying here and weeping.

“Embree…” My sobs are so overpowering I only notice him when he sits on the bed next to me. His hand comes to my back, rubbing soothing circles I barely feel. “Sweetheart, while it may not feel like it right now, I promise you will get through this.”

“I don’t know how to do this. I feel like I can’t do this.” Through tears, I repeat myself, over and over.

“You can, and I’m here to help you figure it out. For now, let’s start with today. This moment right here. Let’s take a second to let it all out and after we’ll work out what comes next.”

It’s a starting point. Something tangible. A place to build from and where I can find the traction I so desperately need. His words, his touch… he somehow anchors me back to solid ground. It helps and by the time the tears slow, I’m lulled back into a moment of clarity. For the first time in days, I feel something other than hopeless.

Regaining control over my emotions, I look up at him and say, “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. I’m exactly where I want to be.” He leans down. His soft lips graze over my forehead as he gives me a gentle kiss. When his eyes come back to mine, he asks, “What do you say we head down for a little breakfast? The girls are waiting for us.”

“Okay.” I attempt to return his smile, and though it’s half-hearted, I can tell he appreciates how hard I’m trying.

Reaching for my hands, he helps me out of the bed and then steadies me. With his firm hands at my waist, and those eyes focused intently on me, my body warms. A sense of recognition falls over me as the tether that binds us pulses between us. Like a beacon, it calls to us, drawing us to get closer, just like it always has. I can tell he feels it too, for he reaches up to caress my face as he looks deep into my eyes.

“Thank you for letting me be here for you.” His voice cracks, and a slew of emotions I can’t decipher pass over his features.

With our gazes locked on one another, as our bodies move ever closer, my heart begins to race. Unlike other times this has happened, it’s not lust that’s triggering the response, but fear. Because I’m doing it again. Falling for the lie that there is something more between us. Something akin to hope, which in my current state, I can’t afford to have.

Averting my gaze, I step away from him. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I decide what he’s done for me this morning is more than enough. I’ll take this moment he’s given me and build from there on my own. Given the circumstances, I can’t allow myself to rely on him.

“Can I meet you down there?” I ask while glancing down at myself. When I realize I’m wearing nothing but a long t-shirt, I cross my arms over my chest. While what I’m wearing is not entirely inappropriate, the way he’s looking at me leaves me feeling exposed. Bared. Unprotected.

“Sure.” He shifts uncomfortably as his eyes scan back and forth between mine.

I can feel him digging through what he sees, pulling away the layers I’ve erected to protect myself, to find my most intimate thoughts. But I’m careful. This time I don’t let him see. He takes one last look at me before making his way back out through the door. And when he closes it behind him, instead of relief, it’s the feeling of emptiness that returns.

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Author's Note:

In this scene, Emilia begins to realize that maybe Creed was right.
 That her unwillingness to let go of her marriage was more about her attachment to the idea of marriage, than about holding on to a life with the man she married. Now that it's over and she's failed to give her daughters the life she always wanted for them, she's lost and unsure of how to move forward.

I'd love to know what you think of this chapter. Please share your thoughts when you get a moment.

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For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 11

Emilia

By the time I make it downstairs, the girls have already left. Given I’ve never missed seeing them off to school before, my eyes well up with tears. If Lucas notices, he doesn’t mention it. Instead, he scurries about the kitchen, putting my breakfast together with practiced ease.

It looks like he’s changed his clothes. The dark-wash jeans and black form-fitting t-shirt he’s wearing mold perfectly to his chiseled frame. Looking at him now, it’s hard to believe the hulk of a man standing before me is the same lanky 17-year-old boy I used to know. Though he’s always commanded whatever space he’s in, the adult version of him is far more assured, and his presence in my kitchen is almost larger than life.

When he catches the way I’m staring, he shoots me a knowing grin. “Alright, come on. Have a seat.”

Embarrassed, I avert my eyes, hoping he doesn’t spot the warm flush creeping up my cheeks. When he sets the plate in front of me, I’m surprised by what I see.

“You made all this?” While I didn’t think I was hungry, the combined sight and smell of the homemade breakfast burrito—complete with eggs, cheese, bacon, and veggies—makes my stomach growl.

“Aaah, yeah,” he says this as though I’ve offended him. “I’ll have you know I’m an excellent cook, Ms. Embree.” The mischievous smile on his face makes my stomach flutter. “Now eat up. Then we’ll figure out what comes next.”

Picking up my fork, I ask, “Did you eat already?”

“Yep, with the girls.” Moving to the kitchen sink, he starts working on the dirty dishes. “Got up early and figured I’d go all out to impress you fine ladies with my cooking skills.”

“I’m sorry about this morning. For not helping with the girls…”

“Not trying to be rude, but I’m stopping you right there. There’s no need to apologize. You needed the time, and the girls and I were happy to give it to you.” He says this matter-of-factly, as he looks on from where he’s loading the dishes into the dishwasher. There’s so much wrong with this picture, and yet, it’s like he and I have been doing this all our lives. Sharing not only domestic responsibilities but also time with the girls.

“Still, I want you to know I appreciate all you’ve done for us.”

“Anytime. It’s my pleasure.” Closing the dishwasher, he dries his hands on a dishtowel, then leans back against the counter facing me.

Filling in the awkward silence, I tell him, “If you need to work today, you can use my office.”

“Nope, I’m good. Things on that front are quiet for the moment, and Ben knows where to find me if he needs me. How about you? What’s on your list for today?”

It’s entirely my fault that he’s asking this. Between my breakdown this morning and the depressive state that’s overwhelmed me the past four days, he’s taking it upon himself to coax me out by pushing me to look forward instead of dwelling on the past.

No longer hungry, I set the fork down. As my mind struggles to sort through what needs to get done, I’m crushed by the weight of what I have to do. I have to tell them. All of them. My mom and Harold. Our friends. And oh god…the girls! What do I say? How in the world do I explain?

Just thinking about it sends me into a panic. My heart pounds in my chest, which makes it hard to breathe. With the world suddenly teetering around me, I reach for the edge of the kitchen island just as my vision begins to blur.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Embree!” In an instant, he’s at my side, holding me up and drawing me close. “Christ, I got you. I got you.” Like the anchor he’s always been, he steadies me. “Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.” Pulling back, he cups the side of my face as his eyes scan for visual confirmation.

“Yes… I think so.” Though I’m still unsteady, I try to reassure him.

“Okay. Think you can walk for me? I’ll help you. Just over to the couch.” He doesn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he helps me up and, with great care, leads me to the living room.

“Here, sit for a second.”

Once he’s helped me onto the couch, he stands in front of me like he’s unsure of what to do next. Running a hand through his hair, he blows out what sounds like a frustrated breath. Something that’s confirmed, when with hands on his hips he declares, “You need food, Embree. You haven’t eaten anything substantial in days.”

He shakes his head like he’s disappointed in me, then with a pointed look, he adds, “I need you to eat. I won’t be able to concentrate on anything else until you do, so here.” He grabs the remote from the coffee table and hands it to me. “Put on something you like. I’ll be right back and we’re not moving from this couch until you eat.” And then he’s gone.

Defeated, I sink back in my seat and do as he asks, clicking on the channel button until an old Friends rerun comes on. I can’t remember the last time this TV played anything other than a kid’s show, which again reminds me how I wasn’t there for the girls when they left for school this morning.

I know it sounds like I’m overreacting, but the thing is, ever since that day at the cabin when I faced their father, I haven’t been the mother they’re used to. I’ve been distant. Detached and so in my head, I can’t even remember what they told me yesterday during dinner when I asked about their day. I’m running through the motions of caring for them, but I can’t find it in myself to be present. I can’t explain it. It’s like I left a part of me in that cabin, and now I don’t know how to be the mother they need.

I have no idea how to fix it, let alone what I’m going to do. I mean, how am I supposed to explain to them that their dad is never coming back? How do I tell them he gave them up? That he asked another man to step up to take his place, in a transaction that required nothing more than a signature. And to add more confusion to the mix, how do I explain to them that Uncle Lucas, a man who’s never been a part of their lives, is now their adoptive father?

“Here. Eat.” Lucas hands me the plate, then with his laptop, he takes the seat next to me on the couch.

“You don’t have to sit with me while I eat. You should use my office instead.”

Keying in what looks to be his password, he shakes his head. “Nope, I’m good.” Pausing for a minute, he looks over at me with a smirk. “Plus, the company is better out here.”

“Of course, because that would make more sense than you sitting here only to monitor my caloric intake.” I shoot him an annoyed glare.

When he laughs—something he doesn’t do often—it takes all my effort to hold back a smile. He’s so beautiful when he laughs. So light and carefree. It’s one of the few times when the burdens that weigh him down seem to lift.

“I don’t remember you being this sassy.”

“Well, I guess you could say a lot has changed…” I don’t mean to bring down the mood, but my comment is laced with so much pain, that it’s exactly what it does. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. Everything will be okay.” He puts an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to kiss the top of my head. “Now eat. There’ll be no more talking until most of that plate is gone.”

For the next half hour, we sit in silence side by side. He typing away on his laptop, as I eat and pretend to watch TV. Though it’s delicious, I don’t have much of an appetite. When I can’t stomach another bite, I attempt to get up to take my dish to the sink.

“Oh no you don’t.” He takes the plate from me, only to place it on the coffee table in front of us. “I would have liked it if you ate more, but since it’s more than you’ve had in a few days, I’ll let it slide. So…” With a warm smile, he rubs his hands together. “About that to-do list. What comes next?”

“You don’t have to do this, Luc.” Avoiding his gaze, I pick at the seam of my jeans. Though I appreciate everything he’s done, I hate that I’ve made him feel responsible for me. I’m a 31-year-old woman. An adult who’s been single parenting her children alone for over three years. By now, handling adversity should be as natural to me as existing, and the fact it’s not only makes me loathe myself more.

With a loud sigh, he sets his laptop on the coffee table. Grabbing the remote, he turns off the TV and then rises to his feet. “Come.” He extends a hand out to me, and for reasons I can’t fathom, I reach up to take it.

Pulling me up to a stand, he grabs my breakfast plate and then leads me to the kitchen. As I take a seat at the kitchen island, he deposits the plate in the sink before coming back to stand across from me.

“Whether you like it or not, yes, we are doing this. As someone who’s lived through bad shit, I know how easy it is to give up and let yourself drown. I won’t let you do that, Emb. I told you I’d help and I meant it. So let’s figure out what’s important, so we can get you focused and zeroed in on those things you can control.”

When I give him a slight nod, his face lights up. “Great! Okay. Are you ready?” He makes it sound like we’re about to do something super exciting. The twinkle in his eye speaks of mischief, but I know it’s purely an act he’s putting on to help lighten my mood.

“You’ve been spending way too much time with my children.” I should know since speaking in that tone is a trick I’ve used countless times with the girls.

“Let’s just say I’ve paid attention during my time here.” He smiles again, then reaches for the pad of paper and pencil I normally use for making my grocery lists. “Okay, first things first. Dinner tonight. I’m thinking pizza. It’s fast, easy, and from what I’ve heard, the girls love it. What do you say?”

“Okay, fine. Pizza it is.” I roll my eyes but chuckle at the same time. I’m both amused and touched by his eagerness to help.

“Consider it done. What else is on the agenda for today?”

Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I open the calendar app. The benefit of writing books for a living is the ability to set my own schedule. I typically write or work on administrative tasks when the girls are in school, so I can be available for them when they’re home. Unfortunately, this hasn’t been possible since the situation with the FBI and Creed came to light. With all the distractions, my career has taken a huge back seat.

“Shit.”

“What is it?” He asks, his brows drawn together.

“I have a huge deadline coming up in a few weeks.” As my mind races through everything it will entail, my eyes burn. “I can’t do it.” Still staring at my phone, I shake my head. “I just don’t have it in me right now.”

“So what can we do? Who can we call?”

I’d forgotten how he does this. Even back when we were kids, he had this uncanny ability of encouraging me to face my problems head-on, while helping me work through potential solutions. It’s the thing I missed the most when he left. Suddenly, not only was I nursing a broken heart, but I’d lost my compass. My guiding light. The one person who could help me find my way when I was lost.

“My agent. I could explain some of what’s happened, I guess. Maybe beg for an extension.”

“It’s worth a try. Okay. Call. Agent,” he says out loud while adding it to the list. “Done. What’s next?”

For the next few minutes, we go through my calendar, adding to the ever-growing list, which he’s sectioned off by level of priority.

“Oh no. God! How could I forget?” I’m staring at Friday, June 12th, and right there, written at the very top, Alyssa’s Father-Daughter Dance.

“What? What is it?” his eyes snap to mine. Unable to speak through the emotion building up in my throat, I turn the phone so he can see. It takes him a second, but then his eyes go wide. “Holy crap. What do we do?”

“It’s her first father-daughter dance.” My voice is raw with emotion as I try to explain. “I can’t believe I forgot.” Losing the fight, I bury my face in my hands.

“Fuck Emb, please don’t cry. It’s going to be okay. I got her. I can take her, just tell me what to do.” His concern is genuine and hurts my heart since I know my reaction to the situation is hurting him.

“It’s okay.” I lay a hand over his on the counter, while wiping the tears from my eyes with the other. “I asked Ben to take her. But now…” Since finding out about the dance, I told her that her father would give anything to go to that dance with her. I made her believe he valued her above all else and reassured her repeatedly that someday soon, he would be back. But it was all I lie. Her father isn’t coming back, and that’s not even the worst part.

“Now what, Emb?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t got a clue. I have no idea what to do and I doubt there’s a parenting book out there for this type of situation. This is going to traumatize them, Luc. It’s going to change who they are. Who they’re meant to be. It will impact their self-worth and their self-esteem. After they find out, there’s a good chance they’ll never be the same and I don’t know how to protect them from that. Tell me, how do I protect them from that?”

When I burst into tears, he comes around and pulls me in for a hug. Kissing the top of my head, he says, “We don’t need to deal with that right now. When you’re ready to face it, we’ll get the best pediatric therapist we can find to help us. They’re experts in this sort of thing. They can help mitigate the risk so the girls come out of this healthy and whole. You’ll see. And then you, me, Ben, and Jenny, we’ll all be there to make sure they know how amazing they are. We’ll love them so completely, they’ll never think to question their worth.”

“Thank you.” This time the tears I cry are that of relief. It’s been a long time since I had someone I could lean on. Someone who could step in to help lighten the heavy load that is my life.

“You’re welcome. Now, about the dance, I’m their Uncle Lucas.” He pauses and pulls back far enough so he can look into my eyes. Wiping a trail of tears from my face with his thumb, he adds, “And though they don’t know it yet, I’m also their adoptive father. Even if they don’t find out what I am until they’re old enough to understand, in the end, it might mean something to them. Knowing I was there whenever they needed me might help lessen the sting. I can handle this, Emb. Let me be there for them. Let me do this for her and for you.”

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Author's Note:

That the responsibility of explaining what's happened to the girls falls on Emilia further adds insult to injury
. I really feel for her and I'm glad that Lucas is there to help her work through it.

What do you think of this chapter? Do you think Lucas is right when he says that his being there for the girls may someday lessen the sting of their father abandoning them?

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Chapter 12

Lucas

“You sure this looks alright?” Standing at the full-length mirror, I turn from side to side, still not entirely convinced. “I feel like a damn penguin in this thing.”

“For god’s sake Lucas. You’re hanging with a bunch of six-year-olds. I doubt they’ll have much of an opinion about what you’re wearing.” As expected, my sister does a piss-poor job of reassuring me.

“Then why this? Wouldn’t jeans and a dress shirt be more appropriate?”

“Seriously?” Pulling at the lapels of my suit, she turns me so I’m facing her. “Because there’s a little girl on the other side of that door who is waiting for her knight in shining armor to come through for her. She’s a Princess, Lucas. Didn’t she tell you? The least you could do is stop whining and do your best to look the part.” She smiles up at me as she smooths out the front of my suit.

Standing here with Jenny, her face radiating joy as she dresses me up is surreal. Whether her happiness stems from our reunion or my discomfort with the outfit she chose for me, I almost don’t care. After years spent wondering how she was, seeing her this way soothes that part of me that always wondered if leaving her was a mistake.

Fighting back a smile, I smart. “Then shouldn’t you be styling me in armor instead of this?” I lift my arms and look down at myself in feigned disgust.

When it comes to wardrobe, I’ve spent most of my adult life wearing whatever the mission required. Typically, choosing function and comfort over anything else. The closest I’d come to dressing up was when wearing my Navy service blues, and that was only when it was officially required. I would have been more comfortable going that route instead of this, but Jenny outright revoked the idea. Her reasoning… that it was about time I learned to fit into society, and then something about learning to keep up with the Joneses. Whatever the hell that means.

“Trust me. This is perfect. Alyssa’s going to love it.”

At that, the now familiar feeling of warmth creeps back under my skin. There’s something about making those two little girls happy that zaps the toughness right out of me. The smile that lights up their faces when we hang out and play together is like nothing I’ve ever experienced and floods my system with happy hormones I’m growing addicted to.

When Embree gave the okay for me to take her to the dance, I damn near cried. My knees went weak with the hope that slowly but surely, I’m making progress in my quest to convince her I’m here for the foreseeable future. A fact that just a few weeks ago would have sent me into the deep end of a panic attack.

“You ready for this, big brother?” She brushes her hands over my shoulders one last time, and when she meets my gaze, her eyes are a pool of emotions.

“Jenny…” Overcome by the sudden heaviness, I swallow hard. “Thank you for this. You have no idea what your being here means to me.”

Rising on her toes, she reaches up and throws her arms around me. “You’re wrong. I do know because you being here means everything to me, too.”

“Uncle Luc! Look at me, look at me, look at me!” The little whirlwind twirls into the room, her pretty pink dress flowing around her as she spins in circles. The look of unbridled happiness on her face permeates the room, bringing brightness and light to everything around her. She’s perfection. A God-given miracle. And I’m the lucky bastard who gets to take her to her first dance and show her how a princess deserves to be treated.

Walking quickly, I get to her just as she tips over from dizziness. Her loud giggles as I lift her into my arms make me smile, but when her little hands wrap around my neck in a tight hug, my heart damn near bursts out of my chest. Much like their mother, the girls are quickly becoming as necessary as the air I breathe, which leaves me wondering how I’ll survive the day Embree’s issues are resolved, and I’m forced to get back to my life.

“Hey there Ally girl. You look beautiful.” At my words, she shrugs and gives me a shy smile. The depths of my feelings for this little girl and all her expressions never cease to amaze me.

“What! What’s happening here, Alyssa? Don’t you know you’re making me jealous?” Ben teases from where he stands at the door of the guest room, which over the past few weeks has become mine. “Uncle Luc’s been here for what, like 5 minutes, and he’s already stealing all the best hugs?”

“Hey, don’t make my Ally girl feel bad. She can’t help it that she has good taste. Right Ally?”

“Right.” She giggles and then squirms to get out of my arms. “Don’t worry, I still love you, Uncle Benny,” she squeals as she runs up to Ben, who squats down and pulls her in for a hug.

“Where’s Embree?” I ask when I notice she didn’t come in with Alyssa.

“She’s with Mallory, who’s having a tough time right now.” The sad look on Ben’s face hints at what could be wrong.

After letting Alyssa know I’ll be back, I go in search of them. When I enter the girls’ bedroom, I find Embree lying on Mallory’s bed with her back to me and Mallory snuggled up against the front of her.

The sight of the two of them gives me pause, as flashbacks from my time in the hole spark in my brain. How many times during captivity did I imagine this very scenario? Embree and I in our home, the two of us very much in love, which transcended as we cared for our children. That I’m experiencing those very scenarios is unreal and serves as a painful reminder that none of this is mine to want.

This is all his.

His children, his house, and since it’s only been a week since the ink dried on the divorce papers, in a lot of ways, Embree is still his as well.

I’m only a guest here and no matter how normal and natural it all feels, I’m only “playing house”. I’m essentially walking in someone else’s shoes, filling in and partaking in a life that’s not mine. It’s something I need to keep in the forefront of my mind because someday soon this will all be in the past. They’ll still be here, while I’ll be forced to go out into the world still alone.

Clearing the emotion from my throat, I step into the room and ask, “Is everything okay?”

Lifting her head, Emilia’s glassy eyes come to me. “She’s sad.” She mouths to me, her voice silent so Alyssa doesn’t hear.

Walking to the bed, I take a seat at the edge next to Emilia. With my mind still reeling with the reminder that she and these girls aren’t mine to want, I take great care to make sure we don’t touch. Even so, my body reacts to the curve of her hips and the narrow waist that beckons to be touched. There’s nothing sexual in the way she’s lying here, but as is always the case when she’s near, my fingertips yearn for the feel of her skin.

Taking a second to gather my thoughts, I look down at sweet Mallory, who stares back at me with sad eyes. “Hey, Mally, you doing okay?”

When all she gives me is a slow shake of her head, I reach over her mom to take her little hand in mine. The position brings Emilia’s body ever closer, and the way she sinks back against me steals my breath. Even with the sad little girl in the room, everything about this moment feels perfect and real, which makes my chest ache since I’m merely a stand-in for the man to whom they belong.

Swallowing down the hurt, I turn my attention back to Mallory. “That makes me sad, sweetheart. Can you sit up for me a second so we can talk?”

With a nod, she sits up, turning her little body, so she’s facing her mom and me. Her eyes are glassy, her face somber as a stray tear falls down her little cheek.

“I need to hear your words, sweetheart. Can you tell me why you’re sad?”

She shakes her head as another tear trails down the other side of her face. Unable to help myself, I reach up to wipe it away.

“That’s okay. How about this? What if I ask you some questions and all you have to do is say yes or no?”

She nods and then reaches for the hand I placed on her face. Wrapping her little fingers around mine, she sets our adjoined hands on her lap. It’s a gesture that tugs at my heart and nearly brings me to tears because if there’s one thing I’ve learned about this little girl is that for her, trust does not come easy.

“Are you sad because Alyssa’s leaving?”

When she shakes her head, I remind her. “Words, remember. I need to hear your words.”

“No.”

“Okay. Next question. Are you sad because you want to go to the dance?”

“No” This time she shakes her head while giving me her words.

“Okay, I think we’re getting somewhere then. Let’s try this one. Are you sad because you want to wear a pretty dress?”

“No.” This time she smiles as she shakes her head.

“Got it. Okay, how about this? Are you sad because I’m not wearing a dress?”

“No.” This time she giggles, which lifts some of the sadness from her eyes.

When her little hands reach up for me, I lift her over Embree and sit her on my lap, facing her mom, who now turns to her other side so she can look at us.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m afraid I’m out of questions. Think you can tell me what’s wrong now?”

As she nods, she takes my hand while also reaching for her mom’s.

“I want you to stay with me Uncle Wuc.” It’s almost a whisper, my name said in her signature way as she’s still learning to annunciate her L’s.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I promised your sister I would take her to the dance, but how about this? What if next weekend you and I go out for dinner and ice cream? Just the two of us. I’ll have your mama buy you a pretty dress, and I’ll let Aunt Nic torture me into another suit that makes me look like a penguin…” At this, she laughs, “and then you and I can hang out. What do you say?”

She smiles wide, her glossy eyes communicating a kind of love I never knew existed. When she turns and wraps her little arms around my neck, burying her moist little face against my skin, I damn near break. Emotions choke me out, forcing my eyes closed as I fight to hold back tears. As if she knows what I’m feeling, Embree takes my hand in hers, setting up a series of flashbacks that take me back to those moments I shared with her and our family as I lay there dying in that dark hole. As if that’s not enough, my mind then takes me back to that horrible day when I woke to the realization they were but a figment of my imagination. The family I loved, cherished, and found comfort in during those 28 unbearable days never existed.

Desperate to regain control over my emotions, I pull my hand away from Emilia, instead wrapping both my arms around Mallory’s little body. “That’s a date, sweetheart. Your mama and I will talk it over tomorrow and we’ll get it set up.”

Determined to keep it together, I give her one last squeeze, then I sit her down next to her mom. I can feel Emilia’s eyes on me, but I try my damnest not to return her gaze. Right now, I just can’t take the chance she’ll see the turmoil running through my mind. There’s a good chance she’ll misinterpret my reaction to the situation and I just can’t take that risk.

Thankfully, Alyssa comes running in just in time to save me. “Ready, Uncle Luc?” She bounces into the room, her little body launching at me, so I have no choice but to catch her.

“Oh my goodness, yes! Let’s go.” Standing, I turn to Mallory one last time, and with a smile remind her, “Don’t forget. Next time, it’s you and me.” When she smiles back, I rub my hands on her little head playfully, before turning my attention to the beautiful woman I can’t get out of my system. “Ben and Jenny will be with you until I get back. Don’t worry about Alyssa. I got her.”

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Author's Note

: 

In this scene Lucas struggles as reality collides with the memories his mind created while he was fighting to survive captivity
. To him it feels like he's reliving moments from the past which scares him. It's why he keeps reminding himself that Embree and the girls aren't his to want. 

What do you think of this chapter? Am I the only one smitten with these two little girls and the way they love their Uncle Lucas?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

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Chapter 13

Lucas

As expected, Alyssa’s father-daughter dance was everything a kid could want. Aside from the dance floor that was decorated with streamers, balloons, and strobe lights, there was a bouncy house, cotton candy, and more sugar-laden beverages than any proper parent would allow their kid to consume. Given she’s kinda like my kid, I did my best to limit her sugar intake while still maintaining my cool points as Uncle Lucas. It was not an easy feat, but given the smile that was on her face most of the night, I’d say the mission was a success.

During the two hours we were there, we danced, I got to chase her as she ran around with a pack of wild kids—an undertaking that at times left me with the same emotional trauma I experienced in BUDs—and I got to hang out with a bunch of real dads. That was the strangest part for me. I’ve hung out with many men throughout my life, but unlike the guys I knew in the service, all these men talked about were bowling leagues, little leagues, and work. It was weird. I had zero in common with any of them, hence the kink in my neck from all the nodding I did as I pretended to follow along with their conversations.

“Okay Ally girl, do you want banana-rama, strawberry-nelly, or peach-please?”

“Peach. I want peach!” She yells happily, making sure I hear exactly what she’s said.

After paying, I grab both our drinks with one hand, and then guide her over to the outdoor patio area, where I know it’s quieter. Aptly named The Smoothie Bar, the place is like a kid’s version of a bar. There are dozens of round-top tables with colorful bar stools, all filled with boisterous families. Between the crowd of people, the coin-operated kiddie rides, and the arcade machines whose sounds reverberate off the walls, the place is loud.

Unfortunately for us, much louder than my PTSD-laden brain can handle. It’s my fault, really. After the dance, I figured it would be a good time to check the place out, not realizing others at the dance might have the same idea.

Thankfully, Alyssa doesn’t complain about the change of scene, and I’m pleasantly surprised as I watch her take in the outdoor area with a look of awe. I can’t blame her, since the string of lights that brighten the space gives it a magical feeling that complements the soft island music playing on the outdoor speakers.

When I find an open table at the end of the patio we take a seat, my back to the exterior wall so I can see the entire space. It’s a balmy June evening, so the cool breeze coming off the lake is refreshing. Taking off the suit jacket, I lay it over the chair next to me and then unbutton the sleeves of the white dress-down shirt so I can roll them up to my elbows.

“Uncle Luc, do you know my dad?” Alyssa asks between sips of her smoothie.

Yeah, I met the asshole.

That’s the response that comes to mind, but given she’s just a child, I do my best to tamp down the hatred I feel for the man.

“Yes, I’ve met him.”

Looking down at her drink, she continues to work through her thoughts.

“Do you know where he is?” This time, those sad little eyes peer right at me.

“I don’t, I’m very sorry, Ally.” I’m grateful my answer isn’t a lie.

“I don’t think he’s coming back but don’t say anything to Mama. She gets sad when we talk about him.”

This comes as a surprise, as I didn’t think Embree’s girls were aware of what’s happening. Based on this conversation, it’s clear Alyssa knows and understands far more than we thought. It’s something I’ll need to bring up and discuss with Embree.

Not knowing what to say, I remain quiet.

“Mama says he’s working, but I talked to my friends and they said work only lasts until nighttime. It doesn’t take this long for other dads to come home from work.”

“Some jobs do take a long time, Ally. Like my job. I would go away sometimes for a year or more. And I couldn’t come back until the job was done.”

“Did you leave your kids, too?”

Her question stirs something deep inside of me, forcing an answer before I have time to think.

“I don’t have any kids, Ally. Not yet anyway. But some guys I worked with did, and yeah, sometimes they had to leave them behind.”

“Why didn’t you have any kids? You’re old, right?”

I chuckle, one eyebrow going up as I question her reference to me being old.

“Well, I’m old enough, if that’s what you mean. But no. I just…my job kept me busy. I was traveling all the time.”

“You don’t want kids?”

“I do.” Though up to this point, it’s something I’ve always denied to anyone who asked. It was just easier that way. Better than having to explain how I never thought I’d be good enough to deserve them.

“Did you not want to leave them?”

Her question is like a punch to the gut and stirs the throbbing ache deep in the pit of my gut. For only being 6 years old, this little girl is wise beyond her years.

“No. I didn’t want to leave them. It was just easier to not have any until I was ready.”

“Are you ready now?” She asks, her face serious and looking an awful lot like her mama’s.

Ruffling her hair, I tease her. “What’s with all the questions? You’re sounding an awful lot like your Aunt Jen.”

When she doesn’t smile and looks down at her drink, the ache in my gut settles over my chest. Fuck. I don’t know if I’m equipped for this. I can sense the importance of this moment and I’m terrified I don’t have it in me to say or do the right things to help this little girl. The same little girl that just seven days ago became legally mine. All without a background check, security clearance, psych evaluation, or even references to show I was equipped for such a task.

But like I said, I can sense this is important, so I press past my fear and give her the reassurance I’m ready and that more than anything, I want to hear what she has to say.

“What is it Ally girl? Tell me what’s going on in that little head.”

With a shrug of her shoulders, those sad green eyes come back to mine, and with her words, she lands one final blow.

“I wish my dad was ready.”

Fuck! Emotion clogs up the back of my throat as my eyes burn. If I hated the man before, I beyond hate the motherfucker now. How could he do this to her? To Mallory? How could he walk away from his children, dooming them to an existence where they’re left wondering why they weren’t enough for him to want to be here with them?

But then again, isn’t that one of the reasons he came back? To right his wrongs by making sure someone was there to take his place. Someone who could be there for them and could help guide them through life so they wouldn’t succumb to the trauma of feeling abandoned. It’s why I’m here and why I signed those papers. To protect them. To help them feel chosen and loved. To help guide and support them through life’s struggles and hardships.

“Well, I’m here now, sweetheart. I don’t have that job anymore, so I’m back for you, your mom, your sister, and Aunt Jenny. Because I’m finally ready to have a family. No matter what, I’ll always be here for you.”

“Promise?”

Fuck. Just like her mom.

“Cross my heart, but just in case, let’s seal it with a pinky promise.”

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Author's Note: 

This scene broke my heart! Like Lucas said, little Alyssa is wise beyond her years. 
Though she may not understand what's happening between her parents, she knows something isn't right. However, because she can tell her mom is saddened by the situation she chooses instead to internalize her struggle as she tried to understand. 

And Lucas... for a man who doesn't feel like he's equipped for the challenge of helping these little girls, he sure is good at it. I especially love how he goes out of his way to reassure her that he's back, and that he'll always be ther for her.

Now it's your turn. Tell me what you think of this chapter? Would you say that Lucas handled the situation well? 

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 14

Emilia

“And then we went out for ice cream!” She smiles wide, her energy still high even as her little eyes show she’s ready for sleep.

“I thought you went to get milkshakes?”

“We did. A shake is just like ice cream, mama, don’t you know that?”

I can’t help but laugh, peering over at Mallory, who’s smiling at us from where she lies on her bed. Being the good guy he is, Lucas brought a milkshake home for her so she didn’t feel left out.

“Well, I do now.” I lean in to kiss her cheek, then stand and tuck the blanket around her.

“Mama?”

“Yes, Ally Baby.”

“Did you know Uncle Lucas had a job like daddy’s?” I must look confused, for she rushes on to explain. “He went away for a long time for his work, too. It’s why he didn’t have any kids, cause he didn’t want to leave them. But now he came back for us. For you, me, Mally, and Aunt Jen. Because he’s ready and wants us to be his family.”

Her words send shards of ice shooting through my veins. The thought he would talk to my daughter about the situation with her father behind my back plunges my stomach into a tailspin. Forcing a smile, I kiss her little head before turning to do the same to Mally, who yawns quietly.

“Okay, my babies. Night night. I’ll see you both in the morning.”

When I close their bedroom door, anger slams into me with all the pent-up fury I’ve suppressed for the past three years. How dare he do this after he promised to follow my lead? After he agreed, I would be the one to decide when and how much to share with the girls. That he would talk to Alyssa without my consent after I trusted him with her is downright unforgivable.

Determined to confront him, I rush to find him. He’s sitting on the couch in my living room with his computer on his lap as one of the girl’s TV shows still plays in the background.

“How dare you? You promised you’d go along with whatever I decided.” Though I’m furious, I do my best to keep my voice down. The last thing I want is for the girls to hear any of what I’m about to say. Figuring it’s best to take this discussion behind closed doors, I take him by the hand and give him no choice but to follow me into my office. The minute the door is closed behind me, I continue in a much louder voice.

“In that cabin, you made it a point to tell Creed that all choices from that point forward belonged to me, and yet you go behind my back and do this?”

“Embree…” With his brow pinched, he claims, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You told her…” a thick wave of emotion cuts off my words.

“Told her what?”

“That you wanted them to be yours. You told her that’s why you came back. How could you do this?” I demand his answer. The disbelief that he would betray me in this way pushes me to the edge of tears.

“Now hold on a second…” When he reaches for me, I push him away. “Emb, I swear I said nothing to her about what happened with her father. She was the one who brought him up. She had questions. All I did was try to reassure her the best way I could. I would never go against your wishes, especially when it comes to them.”

“Then tell me what happened. Every little detail, Lucas or I swear to God I’ll call Ben right now and tell him to send over one of the other guys. I can’t have someone in my home who I don’t trust with my children.”

Like I’ve stunned him, he stares at me for a few breaths before a pained look falls over his face. When his shoulders slump in defeat, he nods his head a few times before looking straight into my eyes. “When we got to The Shake Bar, she asked if I knew her dad and if I knew where he was. I told her the truth. Yes, I’ve met him and no, I don’t know where he is. This is when she told me she’d been talking to her friends. They all told her their dads come home from work at the end of every night. Because Creed hasn’t been back in a long time, she believes he’s never coming back.”

With a hand, I try to cover the gasp that escapes from my lips. That she’s talking to her friends about her father’s absence tears out my heart. “She’s never said anything. If all this is true, why hasn’t she come to me?”

Though at first he hesitates, he answers my question. “She asked me not to say anything because it makes you sad.”

With tears burning behind my eyes, I collapse onto my chair. With elbows on my desk, I bury my face in my hands. I refuse to let the tears spill. Not this time. Not before I hear every painful detail of his conversation with my little girl.

“Hearing the sadness in her voice, I just… I couldn’t take it. That’s when I explained that before coming back to town, I had a job like her dad’s. A job that took me away for long periods of time.” When he pauses and takes a deep breath, I look up at him. “That’s when she asked if I had to leave my kids behind, just like Creed left them. The question caught me off guard, so without thinking, I told her the truth. That with my work schedule and all the travel, I never had kids. That though I wanted them, I wanted to wait until I was ready.”

Rubbing at the back of his neck, he releases a pained sigh. “I regret telling her that, for the next thing I know she tells me ‘I wish my dad was ready.’ It broke my goddamn heart, Embree.” Before my eyes, his face contorts from an anguished look to one of angry determination.

“That’s why I told her I came back for them. For her and Mallory. As well as for you and Jenny, because it’s the god-honest truth, Emilia. I chose to stay because I’m done with the empty life I was living. After the past four weeks I’ve spent here there is no denying it, I’m staying because what I want is right here. With you. With the girls, and my sister. And I won’t apologize for making that little girl feel wanted, supported, and loved. And I sure as hell won’t apologize for reassuring her that until her dad gets his head out of his ass, I’ll be here to give her whatever she needs.”

With that, he forcibly opens the door and storms out. Leaving me to face my shame and anger alone. Confined to this small room with feelings I’m unable to process, I bury my face in my hands and let the tears come.

When did I become this person? Someone so closed off and volatile that I’d turn against the man who’s moving heaven and earth to help us. He’s done nothing but give his love and support after putting his life on hold to untangle my family from the mess Creed left behind. He doesn’t deserve my anger or my lack of trust, especially since it was he who offered to assume responsibility for the girls when their father walked away.

“God, what is wrong with me?” I release the words, hoping hearing them out loud will shed some light. But let’s face it, I’m wasting my time since I already know exactly what’s wrong. Once again, I’m wallowing in self-pity. I’m choosing to stay in the darkness, bathing myself in bitterness and resentment, and using it as justification for my actions.

It’s a self-perpetuating cycle. In doing so, I get temporary relief from the pain of my sins, but it doesn’t absolve or save me from the consequences of my mistakes. It doesn’t help me heal or move forward. Sitting here feeling sorry for myself does nothing but bind me to the very past I’m trying to forget.

Seven days since I signed those divorce papers, I’ve faded into the background. I’ve been absent not only from my life but from the girls, which is something I cannot let go on. I refuse to do to them what my mother did to me. I won’t disappear. I won’t let emotional pain or my resentment steal me away from them too, nor will I take away the love of a man who wants to do right by them.

If Lucas wants to be a part of their lives, if he desires to take away a little of the hurt, then what kind of mother would I be to get in the way of that? Everything he’s done since he arrived back in town demands I at least give him the chance.

Confident this is the best path forward, I leave my office, determined to make things right. Not just with Lucas, but with the girls. With me. I will no longer play the victim. If I want better for us, then it’s up to me to move beyond what happened and build the life the three of us deserve.

Standing outside of his bedroom, I pause. The feeling of uncertainty is overwhelming, but with a deep breath, I steel myself and knock on his door.

“Luc, I’m sorry. Could we please talk?”

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Author's Note: 

I can't say I blame Emilia for her reaction to what Alyssa told her. 
Both she and Lucas are under so much pressure to do right by the girls which isn't easy given the circumstances. I think what makes this even harder for Emilia is that up until now, she didn't realize just how perceptive and aware Alyssa is. She's spent so much of the past three years shielding the girls from the truth of what is happening, that to hear it was all for nothing leaves Emilia feeling like she's failing her daughters.

So I'm curious. Do you think Lucas handled the situation well? Is there some part of the conversation with Alyssa or Emilia that she should have handled differently?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 15

Emilia

I can tell he’s still angry by the way he opens the door. And though I feel his piercing gaze like a brand over my skin, I can’t take my eyes off the contours of the body that stands before me. His torso is completely bare and, like a moth drawn to a flame, I’m captivated. From the round curves of his strong shoulders to his well-defined muscular chest, to those chiseled abs and the trail of light brown hair that disappears beneath the waist of his dark grey sleep pants. I’m mesmerized.

That is until the warm flush that permeates my body snaps me out of my lust-filled haze. But as I try to look away, the evidence of his past grabs my attention and crashes into me with the force of a runaway train.

The extent of the damage is so extreme that in sections, it’s hard to tell where one injury ends and another begins. There are multitudes of gashes lining his skin, some stitched cleanly in perfect lines, while others are jagged and skewed in ways that invoke pain just at the sight. And as if that weren’t bad enough, the pink puckered evidence of burnt flesh is scattered down the left side of his torso in a pattern that makes my stomach twist like I’m going to be sick.

When my tear-filled eyes come to his, what stares back at me is pure, unadulterated despair. Pain and shame pour out of him in waves that make it hard for us to breathe, but when I go to reach for him, he pulls back. Spinning toward the bed, he grabs a black t-shirt, but just as quickly I’m standing in front of him. My hands clinging to his as I prevent him from hiding the scars that are as much a part of him as he is a part of me.

“Please don’t,” I beg.

While his fear never wanes, he releases the shirt, dropping it to the floor by our feet. Unsure, I search his eyes and when he doesn’t pull away, I lift a hand and ever so slowly draw it closer to his chest. Though he flinches at my touch like it still burns, he allows it, and with my heart stuck in my throat, I skim my fingertips over his warm flesh until my hand is resting over the scarred gashes that line the skin over his heart.

In that instant, time stops. The tether that binds us flares to life and I attempt to absorb every bit of his fear. His pain. The anguish he endured. Soaking in as much of the devastation as I can in hopes it helps to ease some of his burden.

When I notice the harried way his chest rises and falls, it draws my attention back to him. His eyes are sealed shut. He’s gone pale and his features are twisted into an agonized look that makes my breath catch in my throat.

Determined to pull him out of the nightmare his mind has trapped him in, I cup the sides of his face. This moment is important. I don’t know how I know it, but I can tell he needs this if for nothing else, to help build upon the trust we’re both so desperate to repair. It’s why I wait him out. And when those wistful pools of sea green stare back at me, I smile through a sob.

He survived. For me.

He endured and lived through the terror. For me.

Each of these scars is a symbol of his love and devotion to me and the family he created in his mind. We were his comfort amidst the terror, and that he survived it all so he could come home to the life he imagined for us heals a part of me I thought would forever be broken.

Without thinking, I step closer, rising to my toes so I can brush my lips against his. It’s a slow, tender touch. One I hope communicates how grateful I am for the sacrifices he made to be here. Though he doesn’t kiss me back, his hands slide around my waist, pulling me closer. The feel of our bodies pressed against one another awakens that spark of desire that’s only ever existed for him. When his fingers graze the skin at the hem of my shirt, I shiver in anticipation as goosebumps break out over my flesh.

This is wrong.

I know it is.

To feel this way, and be this close to another man when, just seven days ago, I signed the papers that ended my marriage to Creed. And yet, I can’t help but want more, for in all the years he’s been gone, my love for Lucas has never wavered. Not after he left me, and not after he stayed gone for more than 15 years. The truth is, I love him just as much today as I did the night of the bonfire when he finally admitted his feelings for me and then kissed me for the very first time.

He’s my soulmate.

My best friend and protector.

I knew it back then, just as I know it now, but if there’s one thing the events after the bonfire taught me is that nothing about Lucas and I is guaranteed. It’s why in this moment, wrapped safely in each other’s arms, I ignore the alarms going off in my head. Instead, I focus on the only thing that matters now.

“Thank you.” I stare deep into his eyes. “Thank you for fighting. For surviving. For loving me so much that you kept your promise to stay alive so you could return home to our family.” As his eyes drown in overwhelming emotion, I lean into his chest and bring my lips right over his heart. When my lips touch his skin, he sucks in a loud breath.

“Emb…” He breathes my name in a desperate exhale. “Tell me.” He demands in a rough voice. “Make me believe you’re done with him. That it’s over and you’re ready for whatever exists between us.”

Reaching up to his face, I confirm the words he wants to hear.

“It’s always been you, Lucas. It’s only ever been you.”

His eyes drop to my lips before returning to meet my gaze. “Embree?”

“Hmm,” caught under his spell, my blood heats.

Inching closer, he says, “I need to kiss you…”

“Yes.” He’s close enough that I feel his breath fan over my lips.

“More than anything, I want to kiss you, but you need to be sure, Embree. Because once I get another taste, I won’t be able to give you up again.”

“I’m sure.” My words are breathy as I hang on the very edge of anticipation.

In an instant, we come together. His soft, warm lips brush and caress against mine in a desperate kiss that deepens when our tongues intertwine in an exotic dance that heightens my need for the man who completes me. Tangling one of his hands into the back of my hair, he guides my head, positioning it just as he wants me. Meanwhile, his other hand caresses the side of my face in a move that makes my knees go weak and leaves me no choice but to melt deeper into him.

His breath comes out in shuddered pants, and when he moans, the muscles at my core clench in delicious ecstasy. With every whimper that escapes me, his movements grow more hurried. Frantic, he pulls our bodies closer. The feel of his warm hands exploring through my clothes turns me into a needy mess. Feeling like a damn about to burst, my hands touch the hard planes of his chest before moving down to the elastic waist of his pants. Before I make it any further, he grabs my hands, and to my disappointment, he works to end the most amazing kiss of my entire life.

“Fuck…” he drops his forehead against mine. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Like he can’t help it, he leans in for another taste. This time, the kiss is slower but no less seductive. “Emb…” I chase his lips, desperate for this moment to never end. “Hold on, sweetheart.” He kisses me one last time, taking my face in his hands as he pulls back. “As much as I want to continue this, we have to stop. We need to talk.”

It’s like he’s doused me with a bucket of ice water. The tension in my chest returns, alongside the memory of the last time he rejected me. I’m so scared of what he’s about to say that my first inclination is to brush off what just happened and pretend it wasn’t a big deal. All to stop the objection, I’m certain he’s about to voice. It’s what the old me would have done. Impeded our truths for the sake of not upsetting the fragile balance of our relationship. But isn’t that the same behavior that’s made such a mess of things?

I’ve spent most of my life running from hard conversations. Hiding from painful feelings and truths while pretending my problems don’t exist. I can’t continue down this path, so for the first time, I do as my dad suggested in his final letter. I choose to brave the conversation while bracing for the pain that’s sure to come.

“The past few weeks with you and the girls have been amazing. Being back in this town has allowed me to experience a life I never thought possible. A life I want to remain a part of. Desperately. You have no idea how badly I want this, but…” he sighs, dropping his head. “I’m scared. Terrified to the point I’m afraid to let myself believe it’s possible. I worry I won’t be enough for you, and that eventually you’ll realize it’s him you want.”

“Lucas.” I take his hands in mine and inject as much sincerity as I can into my voice. “I know what I want. It’s the same thing I’ve always wanted. A chance at a life with you.”

This time, when he sighs, his shoulders slump in defeat.

He doesn’t believe me.

“I want that too, but the rational part of me thinks it’s too soon. You just signed the divorce papers, and given what you’ve been through, what you’re going through, we shouldn’t be hasty. We need to be careful. Take things slow to allow time to heal you and the girls. It’s the only way to ensure the future we build is based on a foundation that’s separate from the relationship you had with him.”

He’s right. Deep down, I know he is, but it doesn’t make his words sting any less. With a finger, he lifts my gaze back up to his.

“I want you, Embree. Mind, body, and soul. I want to keep you, to love you. I want you to be mine completely.” Reaching up, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Which is why I promise you, I’ll wait. However long it takes, I will wait until the day we’re both ready to take that next step.”

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note: 

This is another one of those moments where Lucas becomes the vulnerable partner, while Embree turns into the strong one.
 It's such a shift from their normal personalities, and it's the dynamic I most love about their relationship.

The only time Lucas allows himself to be vulnerable is when he's with her because his trust in her is absolute. As for Embree, she is strongest when she's with him because he encourages her to face life head-on while trusting her with his vulnerabilities. 

I'd love to hear what you think about this chapter. Do you think it was smart of Lucas to slow things down? How do you feel about Emilia being ready to move on so quickly?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 16

Lucas

“So where are we?” I ask Ben, who takes the seat across from me in Embree’s office.

It’s been a little over a week since we turned over the information Agent Halder gave us to OPR. Since then, he and Nic have been in negotiations with them, attempting to untangle Embree from the mess Creed is involved in.

“Nic was able to work out an agreement. Thanks to what was on that thumb drive, they agreed the surveillance on Emilia was planted illegally. They have no evidence tying her to their investigation, so Nic made it clear it needs to be made right. She also filled them in on the dissolution of the marriage and subsequent termination of his parental rights. It’s enough to affirm Emilia wants nothing to do with Creed, and that she’ll be the first to turn him in should he make contact. In short, they won’t be bothering her anymore.”

“We got that in writing?”

“Damn straight. You know my sister. She’s a goddamned pit bull when it comes to protecting the people she loves.”

“What do we know about the asshole agent who threatened her?” Agent Robert Kessler. The second man on my growing kill list.

“Nothing yet. From what I understand, they’re still investigating. Hunt did say he’s on some kind of administrative leave and was warned not to contact her.”

“We need to figure out who’s behind this. Whoever orchestrated the investigation against Creed and ordered the surveillance on Emilia is more powerful than Kessler. They’re the real threat and as long as they’re out there, there’s no guarantee she’s safe.”

“We’re on it. Mason’s on Creed duty and Owen is working closely with Agents Hunt and Halder. The minute we get an inkling of who it might be, you’ll be the first to know.” His assurance does nothing to ease my concern. Especially as with each passing day, Emilia and the girls grow increasingly tired of being locked away in the house.

“Embree’s had enough,” I confess, as my shoulders slump in defeat. I promised her this would be over soon, but it sounds like it’s going to be a while before her life can return to normal.

“What do you mean?”

“School year ends in three days, and she was hoping everything would be settled by then. Given what’s happened, she’s looking forward to spending time with the girls, possibly taking them on a trip to get them out of Ruby Creek for a week or two. Just the three of them.”

“Look, I get this is hard, but part of your job is managing her expectations. Only time will tell if the threat is truly behind us. You need to help her understand that and make it clear that it’s something we’ll need to re-assess weekly. If having the girls’ home full time gets to be too much, we can look into setting up occasional day trips to places where we can mitigate the risk and ensure their safety.”

He’s not telling me anything I don’t already know. Properly chastised, I only nod. For the foreseeable future, this is how it needs to be.

“So, how’s everything else? She had enough of you yet?” Under the desk, he kicks at my feet playfully. It’s his way of trying to lighten my solemn mood.

“All good. And no, I don’t think so. Though I can tell having us around has been a difficult adjustment for her.”

“Sounds about right. It’s to be expected given the circumstances. What about you? How are you adjusting?” Though he gives off an air of nonchalance, his eyes are locked in on me like he’s dying to see if I’ll tell him the truth.

It awakens a prickle of apprehension, especially when I think back to what happened Friday night. When I opened the door, still pissed after our argument, nothing could have prepared me for the way her eyes sparkled with desire. It damn near brought me to my knees, and it took everything I had to stand there waiting for the inevitable moment that look would turn to pity.

It happens every time. The scars that mark me will forever taint the way others see me. I saw it in the faces of the nurses, the doctors, the physical therapists, basically anyone who’s looked upon the evidence of my torture. And it’s especially worse when it’s someone who knows what each of those marks cost me. Where they came from and what I endured in the aftermath cements that pity to the point it’s all they feel when they look at me.

To my horror, it’s exactly what happened when she finally saw what my torturers had done to me. The look of lust fell away, replaced instead by unfathomable sadness and pain.

With adrenaline pumping through my blood, I watched helplessly as she scanned over each mark. Her face twisting in agony like she was experiencing each skin-splitting strike of their whips. The breathtaking force of their fists. The burning and stinging of the heavy chains that cut into my wrists and ankles. Each slice of the knife as they carved me up with glee on their faces. The fire that scorched my skin, burning and eating away at the tender flesh like it was an inanimate object and not me.

I hated that not only could she see what happened, but that she experienced it so completely, it was as though it happened to her. I couldn’t take it, so I ran to the bed, intending to cover up, but the feel of her hands as they stopped mine instantly quieted the need. With each passing second that she took me in, that her hands explored, soothed, and caressed, the pain of my past faded away. The phantom stinging and burning, was replaced by desire until all I could feel was the magnetic attraction that’s as unavoidable as breathing. For the first time since it happened, the scars no longer mattered.

“In some ways, it’s been easier than I thought. In others, I’m still adjusting.” It’s a truth he’ll buy and one I’m comfortable sharing.

“What about her? How’s she doing since that day at the cabin?”

It’s the question of the hour and the reason I’m being so careful. In the three nights since she saw my scars, she’s slept in my bed. Both of us fully clothed, as I’ve fought with all my might to keep us on safer ground. On more than one occasion, we’ve made out like teenagers. Touching and exploring until my control starts to slip, and I immediately pump the brakes. Each time I do, the look of disappointment on her face chisels away a bit more of my restraint, but still, I hold. After everything, I’m more sure than ever that I can’t allow things between us to progress too quickly.

“Hard to say.” I shrug my shoulders before closing the file Ben brought for our discussion. Handing it back to him I add, “She’s been through a lot. I suspect she’s still processing.”

“The Luc I knew would’ve marched right up to her and demanded she spill her feelings. What’s with all the tip-toeing?”

Good question. Not one for subtleties, I like to nip confusion in the bud. My mind demands complete clarity, but with her, there’s just too much at stake. Too much I want, far too many things we both could lose. It’s got me stuck. Afraid to push in case her feelings for me are enough to propel us over the line. And that’s the part that terrifies me the most. What if we indulge in what we feel, only for her to wake up one morning regretting us? I’ve survived a lot of fucked up shit in my life, but that. I don’t know how I’d survive that.

“It’s complicated. Things between us ended on a shitty note and now that I’m back…” I let the thought hang, unsure of where to even begin.

“Well? Now that you’re back, what? Spit it out, man. I got shit to do and now I can’t leave until I sort out whatever mess is in your head.”

“There’s nothing to sort,” I tell him, annoyed. The last thing I need is him poking around, stirring up more of my shit.

“The fuck there isn’t. What is it, Luc? What’s got you so twisted up you can’t talk to her?”

Needing to move, I stand and walk to the window overlooking the front yard. The beautiful landscape, with summer flowers in full bloom, is in stark contrast to the sadness hidden behind these walls. Or maybe it’s not the house. Maybe it’s me.

“Well?”

Moving past the flower beds, my gaze lands on the metallic gray BMW i8 parked next to Embree’s CRV. It’s such a pretentious car for a supposed family man. After seeing the size of the girl’s booster seats, there’s no way in hell he bought that car with those two little girls in mind.

It pisses me off.

He’s been gone for years and yet, he’s everywhere you look. Especially in the family photos she’s got hung on every surface of this damn house. Each time I walk by, I find myself examining their faces.

Hers.

His.

Looking for… who knows what.

Just something to tell me how much love and devotion they have for one another. It’s like I’m hoping those pictures will reveal how much of that love is still alive and existing in her heart.

“I slept with her.” I blurt, shaking my head in anger at myself. At Creed. At the universe for being so incredibly cruel.

“What?” Though my back is turned to him, there is no misinterpreting the growl in his voice.

“It was before. The night I left. The same night we buried my parents. I was heartbroken and drowning in grief when she found me sitting alone in the dark. She offered me comfort. An escape. And I was so desperate for relief from the weight of my guilt that I didn’t say no. I was so in love with her. You would think knowing I was leaving, I’d have the decency to protect her, but I didn’t.”

Pissed off, I turn to face him, willing to accept whatever punishment he deems fit. “I took her virginity that night, then walked away without so much as a thank you, never mind a goodbye.”

With mouth agape, he stares at me. His brow grows more furrowed with each passing second, but when he finally speaks, I’m shocked by what I hear.

“She loved you just as deeply as you loved her. If she offered you comfort. Love. In whatever form it came, it meant just as much to her that you accepted it. Of that I’m sure. I’ve known that girl almost as long as you have and whatever she offered you that night was less important to her than you allowing her to take care of you.”

That makes it so much worse. Dropping back into my seat, I slump forward. Rubbing my hands over my eyes, I struggle to keep my emotions in check.

“I’m in love with her.”

“No shit, Sherlock. I thought we’d already worked through this that morning I kicked your ass.”

I chuckle at that. “I must have landed a good one if that’s how you remember it.”

“What I remember was asking what your plans were. Does this mean you’ve decided? Is your plan to get the girl?”

Suddenly exhausted, I slump back against my seat. I’m so fucking tired of feeling like this. Confused, sad, angry. Afraid. Nothing I’ve done so far has offered any kind of relief, so maybe spilling my guts to him is the answer.

“She asked me to kiss her. It was the night that asshole took advantage of her and God, did I want to. Knowing what she’d just been through, I couldn’t do it. Not then. But then a few nights ago, we had another moment. We’d had a misunderstanding, and she came in and saw…”

FUCK! Every time I think about it is like a knife through the gut.

I’m starting to think it’s not just because of what she saw, but because those scars represent the painful proof that I survived while I let the others die. Those marks are evidence of my biggest failure and to have them seen by the eyes of my greatest regret was, and still is, excruciating.

But then when she thanked me for keeping my promise to survive so I could return home to her and our family… For the first time, those scars meant something more. The reverence in her voice flooded my system with something akin to gratitude, which is so outside the scope of what I’ve felt all these months, that I’m still struggling to process it.

“Because I’m in love with her those moments between us are getting harder to ignore.”

“So, it’s not one-sided, I take it. She feels it too?”

“Yes.” I nod, staring off at yet another picture of her and the girls. “She says she feels the same, but how could she know? Look at what he did to her. What if she’s just lost, not realizing I’m not the answer?”

“Have you asked her?” I look at him, confounded. “Come on Lucas! Have you asked her what she wants?”

“Of course I have! And I’ve heard her answer. But I can’t forget the look on her face when she told me what happened between them in that cabin. She wanted to feel loved and wanted by him. What if in his absence she’s settling for me? I can’t be the fill-in, Ben. I fucking love her, but I can’t go into this wondering if while she’s with me, she’s wishing I were him.”

“Dude, you need to talk to her. Get all that out in the open. She’s still that same girl. She’ll hear you out and do her best to protect your heart until she’s sure. It’s who she is.”

“I have. But even as I hear her words, as she looks me in the eye with so much certainty, I can’t help but wonder if her answers are a symptom of the betrayal she feels. It may feel real to her, until she processes everything, and then realizes it isn’t.”

“Look, I won’t sugarcoat it. The situation is fucked, and you’re right, I’d be cautious, too. But at some point, you have to trust her. It’s the only chance the two of you have to make it work.”

“I don’t know. I feel like any way this goes, it’ll be me on the losing end. It took me years to feel okay. It’s only been what, 5-weeks? And I’m back to feeling like that same love-sick kid. The only difference is it’s not distance keeping me from her. It’s fear.”

“Sounds to me like the very same thing. I mean, you didn’t come back Luc. One can only assume it is fear that kept you away all these years.”

He’s not wrong. When I don’t respond, he stands.

“Take my advice. Stop with the excuses. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, life happens on its own time. You have an opportunity here. One that may never come around again.”

I watch as he walks away, only turning to face me when he gets to the door of the office.

“And for the record, I don’t think there was much left of their marriage. Of the three years before he left, he was gone more than he was around. He missed Mallory’s birth by almost a week. Only made it to one of Alyssa’s three birthday parties. He wasn’t around long enough to be missed.”

“Tell that to all the pictures she has hanging around this place.”

He shakes his head and smiles.

“Maybe it’s time you looked closer, my friend. Those pictures confirm exactly what I just told you.”

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Author's Note: 

I'm truly amazed by how far Lucas has come.
 The way he opens up to Ben in this scene shows how much trusts he has in his friend. Aside from the conversation he had with Emilia when he returned to town, this is the first time he openly shares what happened on the night he left. It shows growth. A willingness to connect that didn't exist when he first returned to Ruby Creek. 

What do you think of Ben's reaction when Lucas told him he slept with Embree on the night of his parent's funeral? Are you surprised?  

Also, did you notice the slight shift in Lucas' perception of his scars? Would love to know what you thought about that part of the scene.

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 17

Lucas

“I can’t believe we have a dog now.” Alyssa squeals. Her arms are wrapped around Nero’s neck, and the way he melts into her like he can’t get enough brings a smile to my face.

I’m still amazed at how well he’s adjusted to life with the girls. Looking at him now, you’d never believe that just a year and a half ago he was in Afghanistan, fast roping out of Blackhawks and incapacitating armed insurgents. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous when I first brought him around the girls. For four long deployments involving countless missions, Nero was entrenched in active war zones. He’s been shot at, stabbed, and beaten, and his body still carries the shrapnel that almost ended his life on that last mission.

Though not his handler at the time, I had the pleasure of observing him in action, which is how I knew he could distinguish between friend and foe. I’d seen him walk excitedly amongst children playing in the crowded streets of the Mandawi Market in Kabul. But when it was time to work, he had no trouble tuning them out, often running right past them on his way to attack the next designated target. As such, I knew I could trust him around the girls, at least for short periods. Anything beyond that I wasn’t sure, but it didn’t take long for me to realize not only could I trust him, but that babysitter and glorified cuddle buddy were also part of his calling.

“Lyssie baby, leave the poor guy alone. And he’s not OUR dog. He’s Uncle Luc’s dog.” Embree tries to explain over Alyssa’s loud giggles, as Nero returns her affection with eager puppy kisses.

“Uncle Luc. You said we could share him,” she complains to me with two little fists on her hips and an adorable scowl on her brow. Watching her reminds me so much of her mother and my sister that once again, my mouth pulls into a grin.

“I did say that, didn’t I?” I nod, but stop when I catch the way Emilia’s glaring at me.

Damn it!

I guess that wasn’t the right answer.

I’m learning that being around the girls and their mother is like walking through a minefield. Not because of the kids themselves, but because I have to be reading Embree’s expressions constantly. Who knew that there’s this whole other language of non-verbal cues adults use to communicate when in the presence of children? It’s something I’ve yet to master, and based on how she’s looking at me now, I’d say I have a long way to go.

Time for a preemptive strike.

It’s another lesson I’ve picked up during my time with them. Do or say something around the kids she doesn’t like, fix it by redirecting them to do something helpful.

“Okay girls, time to help mommy out. Both of you upstairs, double-time, so you can get ready for your baths.”

Helping Mallory off the chair, I ruffle both their little heads and then guide them out of the kitchen toward the stairs. When I encourage them to go up but don’t follow, they turn to me with a look of disappointment.

“No. We want you to do it.” Alyssa takes my hand and starts jumping up and down in front of me, desperate to get me to agree. “Pleeeeease, pretty, pretty, pleeeeease.” When her face twists into an exaggerated look of agony, I bite back a chuckle.

But then, to my surprise, little Mallory reaches up for me, asking to be picked up in a move I’ve only seen her do with her mother. Wasting no time, I swallow down the lump in my throat and lift her into my arms. In the distance, I hear Embree’s breath hitch, but as much as I want to check on her, I can’t tear myself away from Mallory’s doe eyes, whiskey-colored, just like her mama’s.

“Pwease, Wuc. Pwease.” She whispers so low I can just make it out.

When I smile at her in awe, she raises her little shoulder and ducks her head with an embarrassed grin. There’s a sparkle of wonderment in her eyes, almost like she’s amazed at finding herself in my arms. The way she’s looking at me ignites something deep inside of me. A sense of possession, commitment, and devotion all wrapped into one. It’s a feeling so strong and pure that I make a silent vow to do whatever it takes to make sure she always looks at me this way.

When my gaze finally meets Embree’s in search of permission, I’m relieved to find acceptance there.

“Your mama said yes, so go on up. Get ready and I’ll be there a minute.”

After ruffling both their little heads, I watch them take off at a run. Their sweet little voices carry even after they’ve disappeared into their bedroom. When I turn, I find Embree staring at me with an emotion I can’t quite read.

“Thanks for letting me help with them. It means a lot.” Again she gives me a silent nod, similar to the way Mallory likes to communicate. “You know, it’s you who she gets it from?”

“What?” She smiles at me, crinkling her nose in adorable confusion.

“Mallory. The way she nods her answers, no words, just her little head doing the talking for her. She gets that from you.”

“You think?” She asks, genuinely wondering which makes me laugh.

It takes only four strides to get to her. Wrapping her in my arms, I lean down to drop a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“Yes. And I don’t think it. I know it. I see it every day.”

And for that, I’ll be eternally grateful. My time with them has upended everything I thought I knew about myself. It has opened my eyes to the realization I can have this. A life surrounded by people. A family. A home. Friends and neighbors. Even the dog. Every moment with them is like a sunrise, an invitation to new and fresh experiences. They make me want things I never thought would be possible. Things like kids of my own. A future with the only woman I’ve ever loved…

“Well, you better get going.” She slowly rises on her toes, coaxing me to lean down to meet her lips in a chaste kiss. “They’re waiting for you, and they’re far less patient than me.” Smiling, she takes a few steps back, before turning away and heading back towards the kitchen. Like a fool in love, I watch her walk away in total disbelief that this is my life.

“Uncle Luc. Are you coming?” Alyssa yells from the top of the stairs.

With the spell broken, I take the steps up two at a time, calling for Nero to follow. As I do every time, I look over the family pictures that adorn the walls as I walk past. Thinking back to my conversation with Ben two days ago, I scowl. He was right. Just as he said, all the pictures that include Creed seem to have been taken on four different occasions. One of those was their wedding, which means in the seven years they’ve been married, he’s only posed for family photographs three times.

As for Embree and the girls, their photos span over the years and were taken at over a dozen separate events. That he seemed to have missed so much of their lives makes me angry for them. As I hear the voices of the two little girls summoning me, I can’t help but wonder how a man with so much could so easily give it all up.

For the next 10 minutes, we fill up the bathtub. The girls toss in a myriad of toys while Alyssa jabbers on about mermaids, whales, and fish. Once they’re in the water, I can’t help but laugh when Alyssa pretends she’s a mermaid, while little Mallory looks on with glee.

There was a time many years ago when Embree, Jenny, and I were just as carefree. We’d spend our days down by the lake, playing similar games as we reveled and thrived in the safe world our parents created for us. Looking back, I’m glad we got to experience that. While the tragedy of my parents’ death robbed us of so much, the one thing it could never take away was the memory of those simple days.

Looking at the girls, I make another silent vow. For as long as the universe allows, for as long as I can manage it, they will be carefree. I’ll make sure of it. And when such a time comes that the universe takes it all away, I’ll be there too. Fighting to my last breath, to show them they are still whole. That life is meant to be lived regardless of the things we lose. A lesson I’m still struggling to learn, but which I’ll cling to with all my might, thanks to them.

When Nero stands abruptly, my attention shifts to him. By the time I hear the low growl, my hyper-awareness is already on edge. Something is wrong. I feel it in the air, sense it in how time stands still. Reaching into my back pocket to get my phone, I select the security system app and hit the panic button to alert the team. Then I dial Embree’s phone.

“Girls. I’m right out here.”

I step outside the bathroom door calmly, standing just outside where I can keep my eye on them. Without having to ask, Nero follows. His posture is stiff as he stands at attention, awaiting his orders.

“Stop what you’re doing. Don’t say a word and come to me. Stay on the line until you get here. I already hit the panic and the team’s on their way.”

She does as I ask and doesn’t respond. On the line, I hear her making her way upstairs. When she gets to the landing, her eyes are wide with fear.

“It’s going to be alright,” I tell her, as I hang up my phone. “Get in the bathroom, lock the door, and get the girls ready to move, just in case,” I whisper. Both so the girls don’t hear, and because I don’t know who else might be listening.

“Lucas…” it’s all she says, her distress evident in the slight tremors that roll through her.

Pulling her into a quick embrace, I place a kiss on the top of her head.

“Teams on their way. Nero and I got it covered until they get here. You’ll be safe. We’ll make sure of it.”

Then I push her through the door, locking it before shutting it quietly behind me. Knowing they’re secure for the moment, I move to the gun safe in the guest room, Nero at my heels. The hair on his back stands, and his guttural growl warns the danger hasn’t passed. Once my weapon is secured, I give him the command.

“Zoek.” Search.

It doesn’t take long for me to realize whatever he’s sensing is unique. As I follow him to Embree’s bedroom at the back of the house, I watch his eyes scanning up and down the walls. When he stands on his hind legs at Embree’s bedroom window, that’s when I hear the unmistakable buzzing. Straight away, I know what we’re dealing with.

“Nero, los.”

I call him back, already running towards the bathroom door.

“Embree. It’s a drone. Get in the tub with the girls. Do NOT open this door for anyone but me.”

Not waiting for an answer, I sprint down the steps, going through the hall and into the kitchen, where I draw my gun and command Nero to get behind me. Opening the door slowly, I listen for the low hum, looking for confirmation of where the drone is hovering. The moment I step outside, it pulls away from the house, proving whoever is piloting it has seen me. Lifting my gun, I move to shoot it out of the sky, but at the sound of a car door closing, I make the split-second decision to stand down.

At this point, the drone is quite a ways away, and though I could have shot it down, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. Whoever was behind that thing already got what they came for, and discharging my weapon in the quiet neighborhood would only bring unwanted attention. Re-holstering my weapon, I call Nero back inside. Re-setting the alarm, I pull out my cell phone, which hasn’t stopped vibrating since I set off the panic protocol.

“It was a drone,” I tell Owen. “Took off, heading east. Got Embree and the girls hiding in the tub, and couldn’t leave them alone to track it.” Switching the phone to my other ear, I walk toward the front of the house, Nero at my heels. “Why didn’t it trigger the alarm, Owen? The motion sensors should have picked it up.” The tremor in my voice is the only sign I’m shaken.

“They weren’t set to detect above, just threats coming at ground level.”

“What the hell, Owen? We’re not dealing with amateurs here.” Weapon drawn, I move to clear the downstairs space, room by room, even as it’s obvious there is no one here. Even if the alarm had failed, Nero would have alerted me.

“I know man, my bad. Just didn’t expect that.” I hear him typing away as he takes a pause. “Teams there. Ben and Dom are clearing the front, Zeb and James the back. I’ll disengage the alarm and let them in when I get their all clear.”

Re-holstering my weapon, I take the steps up two at a time until I’m back at the bathroom door.

“Embree, five more minutes. The guys are here. They’re just clearing the outside.”

And then it hits me.

The panic.

The endless list of fucked up possibilities that could have meant the loss of everything I found here.

Fuck, just the thought is enough to cripple me. The searing pain at the bottom of my chest as I fight to suck in a breath has me collapsing, my hands at my thighs, the only thing preventing me from falling on my face. This isn’t my first time having to protect someone I care about. It’s not the first time I’ve put my life on the line to help someone else. But it is the first time that losing was absolutely not an option. I cannot lose them. I cannot let anything happen to them.

When I hear the front door disengage, I force myself to stand. With sweat dripping down the side of my face, I lean back against the wall for support. Nero’s ears lay back, and he lets out a quiet growl until he sees Ben and Domnick coming in through the front door, at which point he wags his tail in recognition that all is safe.

For the first time since I adopted him, I’m infuriated by how easily he relaxes. I’m enraged and completely out of my mind because there is nothing safe about this situation. If anything, the risk has been amplified. The assholes who we hoped would give up and set Embree free have come to let us know this is just the beginning.

No. There is no time to rest. No time to celebrate that we came away unscathed. Instead, it’s time to preempt, plan, and get ready for the fight that’s surely coming. Because if there’s one thing I know for certain, the worst is yet to come.

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Author's Note: 

We now have confirmation that Embree and the girls are still in danger. For Lucas, this is the worst-case scenario given his track record of losing the people he cares about. 

What do you think about this chapter? Would love to know what you think about Nero and his role so far in this story.

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 18

Lucas

Closing the front door, I listen for the telltale beep of the security system as it activates.

“Come on. I’ll let you out.” I tell Nero as I walk back to the kitchen to let him outside one last time.

It’s well after midnight and the guys just left. While there wasn’t much in the way of evidence, Owen was able to get a partial image of the drone on one of the cameras. We’re hoping it’s enough to ID the type that was used, which would help narrow down who might be behind tonight’s incident.

Opening the back door, Nero waits for me to give the all-clear before running past me and down to the grassy area beyond the deck.

“Is everything alright?”

Surprised she’s still awake, I turn to find her standing by the kitchen island. The subtle tension in her features and the weariness in her tired eyes reveal the toll tonight’s events have taken on her. Even so, she’s by far the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. With her dark brown wavy hair pulled up in a messy bun, and the barely there tank top that does nothing to hide the creamy swells underneath, it’s taking everything in my power to keep my eyes focused on her face.

“Yep, just letting him out. Give me a second.”

I turn my attention back to Nero, who’s sniffing around the yard like he’s on a self-appointed recognizance mission. I can relate to his unease. The fact someone breached the perimeter of the house without tripping any alarms is concerning. And though none of us expected something like this, it still feels like we failed. It’s our job to plan and anticipate all the things that could go wrong, and I feel personally responsible for allowing it to happen. With my combat experience, I should have known better, for there is no greater threat than the one that descends unseen from the air, catching you off guard.

I don’t even want to imagine what could have happened had Nero not been here to alert me. Always vigilant. Protective. Most of all, intuitive. Twice now that dog has come through for Embree, forever cementing his place in my life. I owe that dog everything and now, more than ever, I vow to give him the life he’s worthy of.

“Nero, here,” I call him back. When he runs inside, I shut the door and wait for the beep confirming the back door is secure. Nero sits at my feet, panting with excitement, his tongue hanging out with a telltale look that’s like a grin. The excitement of the day is still coursing through him, and the glint in his eyes speaks of his eagerness to get back to work.

“We’re done for tonight. Good job today.” I squat down and stroke his head, taking a moment to give him a good scratch.

“He’s amazing.” I look at her and nod in agreement. “He’s so good with the girls, too.”

“Yeah, he can’t get enough of them.” Standing, I go to her. Wrapping her in my arms, I bring her close and bury my face in her hair. Breathing her in, I close my eyes. The feel of her body against mine loosens some of the lingering anxiety that’s like a vise around my chest. We were so damn lucky that whoever piloted that thing was on an intelligence-gathering mission. God knows if they wanted to hurt us, they could have.

“Thank you for keeping us safe. I don’t know what we would have done if you hadn’t been here.” At the crack in her voice, I squeeze her a little tighter.

“Shhh. That’s unnecessary. And anyway, your gratitude is wasted on me since it was Nero who noticed what was happening.” Sneaking a glance at him, emotion chokes up the back of my throat.

I’ll never forget the day I got the call that confirmed my application to adopt him had been accepted. I was at my lowest, fighting my way through depression, desperately clinging to the hope that one day life wouldn’t feel so overwhelmingly impossible.

The process started several months earlier when I got word that, like me, he’d been forced into early retirement because of the injuries he suffered on that last failed mission. The minute I heard he needed a home I jumped at the chance, for it’s another thing we had in common. After the rescue, I’d lost the life I thought I was coming home to, while Nero lost Schmitty—his handler, and the closest thing he had to a home. We were both homeless and alone, with nowhere to go and no one to belong to.

After everything we survived, it felt unfair that we both came out of that fucked up situation with nothing to show for it. At the time, it felt like the Navy had discarded us both. Used us up and spit us out when we no longer fit into their purpose. I know now that was the depression talking, but at the time I felt the solution for us both was to build a home with each other.

Plus, after all the times he’d come through for our team, I owed him. In my mind, I was saving him, but in the end, it was he who ultimately saved me. Within days of his arrival, he snapped me out of my downward spiral with his constant demand for walks, affection, and playtime. He forced me back into the land of the living and pushed my body back into movement. He left me no choice but to get up out of bed to take him outside, where my lungs finally filled with the fresh air I’d been searching for since we were rescued.

“So what happens now?” She pulls back, looking up at me with a mixture of hope and fear in her eyes.

Taking her hand, I lead her to take a seat, then I cross to the refrigerator to grab us both a bottle of water. The weight of what we’re up against is so daunting that it’s taking everything in me to not grab my three girls and whisk them away somewhere far, where they’ll never be found. The problem is, they aren’t technically mine. At least not yet. Which means, for the time being, I need to find a way to convince her we can’t stay.

Setting a bottle of water in front of her, I tell her, “After talking to Ben and the team, we feel it’s best to move the three of you to a safer location. Staying here is no longer an option. They know where you are, which gives them an edge we’re not sure we can defend against. Tonight was a test of our security. They were checking for holes, which I’m afraid they were able to find.”

“Where would we go?”

“I have a friend about three hours from here. Alex Diaz. He’s a retired SEAL. We went through BUD/s together and served on the same team for several years.” As she shakes her head, I reach for her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “He lives on a secure parcel of land. There’s a two-bedroom guest house separate from the main house. He said we could stay for as long as we need, and he’d be there as backup should we need the extra security.”

“No, Lucas.” She pulls her hand away and rises to her feet. “I can’t take them to a strange place, around people they don’t know. Mallory would struggle. It would be too hard on her.”

Coming around to where she stands, I pull her back into my arms. “I know, sweetheart. But right now, our options are limited.”

Like she’s considering this, she falls silent. With every stroke of my hand on her back, her body grows more slack. I hate how difficult this next part will be for them, but there’s no other choice. Keeping them in harm’s way is out of the question and if not for the guys keeping watch outside of the house right now, I would have demanded we pack up and leave tonight.

“I don’t know about this, Lucas. Mallory’s so sensitive. Taking her away from everything she knows and expecting her to manage… it just feels like too much to ask of a four-year-old.”

Closing my eyes, I let her sadness wash over me. There’s a battle raging within me. The trained soldier who is adamant we do what needs to be done against the man who loves them down to the depths of his very soul and wants them to feel happy and safe.

“What about the Inn? Can’t we stay there?”

“We can’t stay at the Inn, Emb. It’s not easily secured, and it’s one of the first places they’d look the moment they realized you were gone.”

“I don’t want to take them too far from the world they know, Lucas. Can’t we find someplace closer to home?” Her voice is laced with desperation as she looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

Fuck!

I know just the place, but I don’t know how I’ll stomach going back there. Shoving down the emotion, I think through the possibility. The property is gated and secure. There’s an alarm system already installed, though it’s a far cry from the high-tech setup Owen is used to. As long as he can upgrade the system to what he installed in this house, it could work. It would allow us to remain in Ruby Creek, in a location no one would think to look for her and close enough that the team could assist if we needed the backup. Though my stomach churns at the thought, it’s the pleading look in her eyes that convinces me this may be our best option.

“My house,” I tell her in a rough voice. When she looks at me in confusion, I clarify. “My parent’s place.”

“Wait. I thought you sold it.” Overwhelmed by the sudden wave of grief that washes over me, I’m unable to speak. Taking my face in her hands, she asks, “You kept it?”

“Yes.” I clear my throat, trying to rid myself of the heavy lump that’s settled there. “When Jenny and I talked after I first came back, I tried giving it to her, but she refused. Instead, she insisted I keep it, so I’d have a place to call home if I ever returned.”

With tears in her eyes that match my own, she reaches for the back of my head and draws me close until our lips meet. Soft and warm, the taste of her shoots sparks of need through my body. When her tongue coaxes at the entrance of my mouth, I groan, sinking my fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck, I tug gently until her mouth is at the perfect angle for me to devour her.

She tastes so goddamned sweet. So fucking perfect, that for a moment I almost forget the promise I made to take things slow. With great effort I bring the kiss to an end, pulling back far enough to lay my forehead on hers but still close enough so we’re breathing the same air. The desire that pulses through me is so strong that I close my eyes and will myself to breathe through the discomfort.

When I’m back in control, I take her by the hand and lead her up the stairs to the room that’s become mine. As we’ve done every night since that first night she saw my scars, we climb into bed together and she nestles into my arms. Kissing the top of her head, I offer a silent prayer to whatever deity is willing to listen to a flawed man like me.

“To whoever is out there, please grant me the strength to overcome the fear of what I have to do next.”

Whether they’ll listen and take pity on me or not, one fact remains. No matter the cost to myself, there is nothing I won’t do for her and the girls.

“Lucas.”

“Hmm?”

“What could these people possibly want with me?”

Nothing good, I’m afraid. For these people, Embree and the girls are a means to an end. A way to bring Creed back in line and punish him for the infractions he’s committed. Knowing what we know, it’s highly likely their goal is to lure him out by making Embree and the girls disappear. And if that happens, we’ll likely lose them to the dark underbelly of the seedy world Creed’s single-handedly trying to destroy, never to be seen or heard from again. It’s a terrifying thought. One I can’t bring myself to share with her, so I swallow down the panic clawing in my chest.

“Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I don’t want you worrying about this right now. I know it’s hard, but I’m asking you to please put your trust in us. We’ll keep you safe and I promise the team and I will do whatever it takes to get you and the girls free from this mess.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know, sweetheart.” I am too but there’s no way in hell I can tell her. Kissing her forehead I pull her in closer. “But remember, I’m here now. No matter what happens, I won’t leave you to face this alone.”

“I love you, Lucas.”

“I know, Emb. And I have always and will forever love you.”

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note: 

In this scene, we learn a bit more about how Lucas came to adopt Nero. The bond between them is like no other, because it was forged out of circumstances few could relate to. Nero is quite special, and I modeled his character based on research I conducted on real-life Military Working Dogs and their handlers. He's by far one of my favorite characters and I cannot wait for you to see what else he can do. 

Tell me what you think about this chapter. It looks like Lucas is headed back to his childhood home. Do you think this will give him the closure he needs, or will it trigger the self-loathing that often sabotages his decisions?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 19

Emilia

I wake to the feeling of a warm hand caressing the side of my face. Even in my sleep-induced haze, I know who it is because I can sense him. There’s something about this man that’s always been so familiar to me. Like we’re connected somehow, two pieces of the same whole separated by time.

“Embree, sweetheart.” He leans in, dropping a soft kiss on my temple. “The girls are already up and dressed. Now it’s your turn.”

Opening my eyes, I can’t help but return his smile. His hair is wild, either from sleep or because he’s been running his hands through it like he does when he’s frustrated or nervous. At the sight of it, my fingers tingle with the need to tangle into those strands, so I can pull him close and convince him to finally claim all of me.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Like he can’t help himself, he leans down, taking my lips with his in a slow, sensual kiss I feel down to the tips of my toes. “As much as I want to stay in this bed and kiss you breathless, we have a full day ahead of us and I’d like to feed you before everyone gets here.”

“Everyone?” My mind is slow to process what he’s talking about until I remember the events of last night.

“James and Zeb are downstairs with the girls and Ben and Dom should be here within the hour to help us load up. Owen is already at the house with the installers upgrading the security system, and Pastor David is on his way to meet us there when we arrive. He confirmed the house is fully furnished, and he’s asked the property management folks to stock the fridge with the basics. All we need to pack is clothes for you and the girls, toys, and maybe enough bedding, blankets, and towels to get us started. Anything else we can get later, once we’re settled.”

“Wow. You’ve been busy.” I sigh. He makes it sound so simple, while to me, it all feels incredibly overwhelming. “Were you able to get any rest?” I reach up to cup the side of his face, focusing in on the dark circles underneath his tired eyes.

“Some. I had to get things moving early, given our decision to stay in Ruby Creek. I talked it over with Ben and Owen to make sure it was doable, and the good news is that we’re set. When we’re ready, you and I will drop the girls off at Offset Tactical Headquarters. Annelly will be waiting there with Zeb and James, who’ll watch over them while we get things settled at the house. OTS is built like a fortress, so they’ll be safe there until we’re ready for them to bring them back to us.”

“Gosh, Luc. I don’t know what to say.” I look away, not wanting him to see the sudden wave of emotion that’s burning behind my eyes.

“Hey.” He scoots closer and reaches for my hand. “What’s going on, Emb? What’s got you so upset?”

“Nothing.” I shake my head and give him what I hope is a convincing smile. “I guess I’m a bit overwhelmed. Plus, I hate that while I was up here sleeping you were downstairs making plans and putting everything into motion. I guess I just hate feeling so useless.”

“You’re not useless, Emb. If anything, your job is the most important one here.” Reaching up, he tucks an errant curl behind my ear. “Do you know anything about SEAL Teams?”

When I shake my head no, he smiles.

“In the Teams, an operator’s role is determined by their training level and area of expertise. In this context, my expertise lies in security and logistics, while yours revolves around the girls. My knowledge about children is limited, and I’m depending on you as their mother to inform me if the plan we’re crafting isn’t practical. Take last night, for instance. Without your objections and insights, we might have entered into a situation that wouldn’t have been in their best interest, potentially jeopardizing the very plan designed to keep the three of you safe.”

“Why does it seem like you’re just trying to mollify me?”

“Because that’s exactly what I’m doing. But only because you don’t seem to fully grasp the significance of your role. I meant what I said to you back in that cabin. Final decisions on what we do or don’t do rests solely with you. The team and I are here to offer advice and carry out the plans you are most comfortable with.”

“Okay.” I suppose it’s my turn now to mollify him, not because I doubt what he’s said, but because I’m much too overwhelmed to refute him, let alone make any decisions right now. “You mentioned the girls are up and dressed?”

“Yep. They must have heard the guys and me talking and came down looking for breakfast. Alyssa helped Mallory get dressed in the outfits you laid out for them last night and they’re downstairs eating breakfast as we speak.”

“It’s like they no longer believe they can count on me,” I confess, a wave of sadness washing over me.

“I don’t believe that. I’d say it’s more about them growing up to be the smart, confident, and independent little girls you’re raising them to be. Besides, I think it’s mostly about the half-a-donut James sneaks them whenever he comes for breakfast. It was the first thing they asked for when they saw him. In case you didn’t know, your children are quite the opportunists,” he chuckles.

He plants a quick peck on my lips and then follows up with, “Anything else bottled up in that beautiful and complicated head of yours I should know?”

“The girls. How are we going to tell them?” My eyes well up, and I instantly berate myself for appearing so weak. He’s the one doing all the heavy lifting, being incredibly gracious in guiding us through this difficult situation. Yet, all I seem to contribute is round after round of useless tears.

“You can credit James and Zeb for breaking the news. They got them all excited for the mini vacation we’re taking. Alyssa’s got them making a list of all the things she wants to do while we’re away.” He smiles, a sense of pride in his eyes as he talks about Alyssa bossing the other guys around. “It’s like I told you, Emb. You’re not doing this alone anymore.”

“And Mally?”

With a broad grin, he bends down and plants a kiss on the tip of my nose.

“You have nothing to worry about. That little girl is far stronger than you think.”

---

“Are you alright?”

The moment we started driving, I could tell something was wrong. The man who, just five minutes earlier, was playfully bantering with the girls suddenly vanished. The clenched jaw and tension in his body emit a vibe of great distress. Considering what happened last night, and having just left my daughters at OTS Headquarters, my thoughts edge toward panic.

Taking my hand in his, he tries to reassure me. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

“About?”

With a heavy sigh, he glances at the rearview mirror, then checks the side mirrors before returning his focus to the road.

“Remember the park? When I had the panic attack?” when I simply nod, he continues. “It hasn’t happened lately. Since you guys. Guess the distraction’s helped…” he pauses a moment. His eyes once again scan over the mirrors as he continues. “Feels like one might be coming on. Thought I should warn you just in case…” And that’s how he leaves it.

The panic attack.

How could I ever forget the intense look of fear that fell over his eyes as he collapsed onto the ground that first day we met up? The way his skin grew clammy and ashen. The sound of the heaves in his chest as he fought for every breath. The way the tears ran down his face as he held on to me for dear life. At the memory, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

“In case?”

When he looks over at me this time, his face is anguished. It’s then I notice that the hand holding mine is shaking. Taking his trembling hand between both of mine, I do my best to ground him, praying it’s enough to keep him from falling into that dark void of doom that haunts him.

“Can you pull over? Just for a second.” I tell him, observing the knuckles on his hand at the steering wheel going white.

“It’s not safe.” He says, with a quiver in his voice. His eyes are glassy as they continue the same vigilant motions: rearview mirror, side mirrors, eyes back on the road.

“Lucas, where’s your gun?” I ask calmly, and he turns to me in surprise. “Are you carrying or is it somewhere in the car?”

“I’m carrying. Why?” His voice is still rough, but his eyes are a bit clearer.

“Because I need you to pull over for a second. If your gun is handy, we’ll be okay to stop for a bit. Can you pull over, please?”

With a nod, I observe him scanning the area around us again before pulling over onto the shoulder of the two-lane road. It’s a straight stretch of road, where you can easily spot any cars coming our way in either direction.

Now that we’ve stopped, the nervous energy coursing through him intensifies. Like he can’t help himself, he scans the area around us with an intensity that reflects fear, as though he’s expecting something terrible to happen at any moment. Gone is the man who doesn’t bend under the weight of danger and stress. In his place sits the scared 17-year-old boy who left me the night of his parents’ funeral.

Not knowing how else to capture his attention, I release my seatbelt and move across the center console to straddle him. It’s an awkward position for me, but effective, as I feel his hands come around my waist. His eyes regain focus, and he looks at me with a surprised glimmer of awe.

Before he can speak, I lean forward and ever so softly glide my moist lips over his. Like I’ve surprised him, he’s slow to respond, but when his hands tighten around my waist and his tongue coaxes against my lips, I open up and give myself to him. The taste of this man is like nothing I’ve ever had, and the feel of his hard body under mine sends tingles shooting up and down my skin. When I nip on his lower lip, he growls into my mouth as his pelvis rises urgently to meet mine.

“Fuuck. Embree…” he pants when I pull away. With my hands still on his face, I kiss one of his eyes, and then the other, before finishing with one last chaste kiss on his lips.

“Talk to me, Lucas. Tell me, what’s got you so twisted up that you’re on the verge of a panic attack?”

“I-I’m…” Seemingly embarrassed he attempts to look away but I refuse to let him go. Determined to get an answer I wait him out, and when he meets my gaze, his sea-green eyes are buried behind pools of grief. “I’m kinda freaking out. I feel like I’m barely holding on.” His shoulders slump under the weight of his confession and his voice cracks as if he’s fighting to reign in his emotion.

Seeing him this way makes my chest ache. When my eyes burn, I lean in and kiss him again. This time I keep all the control. Dictating the pace, I twirl my tongue around his in a sensual dance that I slow only after he groans in pleasure. When his fingers come around my backside, squeezing hard and drawing deliciously close to where I wish he would touch me, I pull back.

As much as I want him right now, this isn’t about sex. It’s about staving off the panic attack long enough for him to open up about the fear that’s trying to drown him.

“Tell me. Let me in, just as I’ve let you in, and I’ll help you carry some of that burden. Let me love you, Lucas. Let me show you that when I need to be, I can be strong enough for the both of us.” I watch as he contemplates my words, and when he finally speaks, relief washes over me.

“I haven’t…” he clears his throat and swallows hard. “I haven’t been back there since the night of the fire.” He closes his eyes as tremors rack through his body. His skin goes damp with perspiration and his breathing picks up at a pace that hints I’m losing him to his demons.

“Look at me,” I tell him with force, my voice taking an unfamiliar tone. When terrified eyes meet mine, I affirm, “Whatever’s happening, I’m here. No matter where you are or where you go, Lucas Holt, I will not stop until I pull you out.”

At my words, a shuddering breath escapes his lips, and he drops his forehead to my chest. Wrapping him up in a tight embrace, I hold on, hoping it’s enough to ground him to me as he works through the fear polluting his thoughts.

When his breathing slows and his body relaxes, the silent tears I’ve been holding back slip free. And when those sea-green pools look at me, it’s like we both take a collective breath. This time it’s him who kisses me. Deep and commanding, it’s like he’s pouring all of his grief, his fears, his love and devotion into me. Taking my face in his hands, he tangles his fingers into my hair, sending sparks of pleasure from my belly down to my core. As if on cue my hips respond, moving over his erection to the rhythm of our shallow breaths.

“Sweetheart.” He growls in warning even as his hands grip me tighter in aid of my movements. “Not here,” he gasps as I add more pressure each time I slide over him. We’re both on fire and desperate for the friction that will douse the ache that hasn’t been quenched in more than 15 years. “Embree, we need to stop. We have to get somewhere safe.”

Like he doesn’t mean it, his pelvis rises to meet mine in a move that makes my insides quake with pleasure. My head falls back as a moan bursts from deep within my chest. At the sound, his mouth trails down my neck, his lips and tongue working together to build me up.

“Fuck, baby. I want you so fucking much.” He says between licks and sucks that send goosebumps breaking out over my skin. One of his hands travels up the front of my shirt, narrowing in and squeezing a pebbled nipple with a force sufficient to nearly topple me over the edge into oblivion. “God, I want to hear you come.”

“Yes. Please!” I beg in a voice I’d be ashamed of if I wasn’t so drunk on the pleasure he’s building.

When his lips return to mine, he reaches down and, with both his hands, he unbuttons my jeans. As he slides his hand under the waistband of my panties, I meet his gaze. This is the furthest he’s allowed us to go, and it’s the first time he’s touched me in the way I’ve been craving for so long. Suddenly questioning if he’s ready for this and terrified he’ll end up regretting it, I search his gaze, but what I see staring back at me steals my breath. As two of his fingers slide deep into me, his thumb takes the lead, expertly stroking the sensitive bundle of nerves that almost pushes me over the edge.

“You’re so fucking wet, sweetheart. So fucking tight and warm.” Almost there, I chase his fingers. My body moves of its own accord as it reaches for the peak that promises unimaginable pleasure. “That’s it Emb, take what you need. Fuck my fingers, show me how it will be when it’s my cock seated deep inside you.”

And then I explode! In wave after wave of blinding bliss, my body falls into the ether. Shaking and vibrating all over, all the way down to my toes as they curl in overwhelming relief. As if desperate for every bit of my pleasure, he milks my orgasm as he swallows my moans with the desperation of a starving man. As I come down, he slows our kiss until I collapse against his chest, my face buried in the crook of his neck. In a post-orgasmic haze, I take in the smell of his skin. The fresh, woodsy notes wrap themselves around me, inducing a feeling of safety. Home. This right here is where I’ve always belonged.

“Embree, sweetheart. You okay?” He chuckles in a lighthearted way that’s in direct contradiction to how this all began.

“Yes.” I smile against his skin before trailing kisses up his neck, and then onto his lips.

Breaking the kiss, he looks down at his hands, as he works to button and zip up my jeans. When he’s done, he squeezes my hips and after a deep breath, he says, “That was fucking incredible. As much as I wish we could keep going, I have to get you off this road and someplace safe.”

Then, with his powerful arms, he helps me back into my seat. Leaning across, he reaches for the seatbelt, and gives me a slow, tender kiss that only stops once he’s buckled me in.

“Please, promise me you won’t come to regret what just happened,” I beg, desperate to get him to agree before he rebuilds those deep, impenetrable walls he keeps between us.

“Emb, it’s not my regret that I’m afraid of. I’ve loved you my entire life, and there’s nothing I want more than to be with you. Completely. Forever.” With a sad look, he kisses the back of my hand. “I’m afraid it’s you who’ll wake up one day regretting me.”

“I could never regret you, Lucas James Holt. Never.”

Sitting back, he reaches for his seatbelt, and with his eyes staring off into the distance, he says, “For both our sakes, I really hope you’re right. Unfortunately, it’s one of those things only time will tell.”

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Author's Note: 

In another departure from their usual roles, Lucas embraces his vulnerability allowing Emilia to be the strong partner. This dynamic is at the root of why they're so good together, and it will help cement the trust they'll need for the challenges that lie ahead.

As Emilia shares, this is the first time Lucas allows this level of intimacy. Do you feel it's about time they move their relationship forward, or is this something you think they'll come to regret?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

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Chapter 20

Lucas

As soon as I turn onto the street where I grew up, the knot in my stomach travels up into my throat. The last time I was here, Jenny and I were huddled under a blanket in the back seat of Uncle George’s car, both of us shivering uncontrollably despite the warm July night. While I don’t recall who else was on the scene, I do remember there were lots of people there, some running towards the scorching black shell that was once our home, while many others just stood around, gaping at the charred remains of the family life that was forever lost.

“If it gets to be too much, tell me,” she reassures, squeezing my hand in a show of support.

While I appreciate the sentiment, her words offer little in the way of solace. Life became too much for me on this very street 15 years ago, and not much has changed since then.

“Is that…”

“Yeah, Pastor David.”

He’s parked just outside the gate of the long driveway, leaning against his car. To my relief, seeing him helps ease some of the pressure from the Grand Canyon size boulder of grief, currently crushing my chest. In the almost six months since I last saw him, I kept my promise to check in with weekly phone calls. It was the only thing he’d asked of me when I told him I couldn’t live in the city anymore, and after everything he’d done for me, it was the least I could do. While to this point those calls have felt like enough, it turns out seeing him here in person is just the medicine I never knew I needed.

Over the years, this man has become so much more than a mentor and friend. He’s taken on the role of surrogate father. Since I left Ruby Creek, he’s been the only constant in my life, the grounding force that’s held me together more times than I can count. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be alive, which is why there is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for him.

When I’ve pulled in behind his car, I kiss the back of Embree’s hand. “I’ll be just a minute. Stay here.”

I sense her questioning gaze as I step out of the car, but I can’t bring myself to look at her. I can see how my behavior right now might be setting off some red flags in her head, especially after our intimate exchange. As much as I’d like to reassure her that my actions have nothing to do with her or what happened, I just can’t. My demons are much too close to the surface, and it’s taking all of my strength to hold them back.

Shutting the car door, I scan the area for threats. It’s a compulsion at this point. My growing unease over having her out in the open with only me as protection has me damn near crawling out of my skin. I’m hyperaware to the point every sound and every shadow feels like a significant threat. To add insult to injury, feeling this out of control in the presence of the two most important people in my life only adds to my growing anxiety.

“Lucas, my boy.” He walks towards me with a beaming smile. Meeting me halfway, he pulls me in for a tight hug. “My, you’re a sight for sore eyes. You doing alright?” He pulls back, his dark eyes scanning over me in that methodical way that makes it impossible to hide anything. I know what he sees, and lying about it will only make things harder.

“It’s been a difficult morning.” I attempt a smile but fail miserably.

“I figured it might be. It’s why I’m here. So talk to me. Where’s your head at?”

At the familiar question I cringe, not because I’m not willing to tell him the truth, but because my answer today is the worst it’s been in quite some time.

“About an eight,” I swallow hard. “But I’m managing.”

His brow furrows. “You sure?”

I nod.

“If you get to a nine, you come find me, you hear? You do not let it go much past that, understood?”

“Understood.”

“Does she know?”

“No,” I shake my head and drop my gaze. “She’s seen the panic attacks firsthand but doesn’t know about the rest. I’d like to keep it that way for now.”

“You should tell her, Lucas. It might help…”

“I said NO!” Frustrated, I run a hand through my hair. “It’s not her responsibility to help me. There are dangerous people after her thanks to the asshole who abandoned her. She’s a terrified, single mother who’s having to uproot her two little girls from the only home they’ve ever known, only to be placed on lockdown in the very home that tore our lives apart. She doesn’t need the burden of my problems right now. She’s already dealing with more than enough.”

“You’re right.” He pulls me in for a hug. “I’m sorry I pushed.” Then, grabbing me by the shoulders, he looks into my eyes. “I know you’ve got this, son. I’m just an old worrywart who loves you and hates to see you struggle.”

“I know you do.” I let out a heavy sigh as I attempt to breathe through the ball of emotions that threaten to cut off my airway. “I’m sorry too.”

“Not necessary. It’s all water under the bridge, right?” He smiles at me much in the same way he used to back when I was an angry, volatile kid. “Now, what do you say we get this technical business out of the way, so you can get inside and finally introduce us?” Still working on pulling myself together, I nod. “Your friend Owen left about 20 minutes ago. He’d like to upgrade some of the sensors, so he went to the warehouse to pick them up. He should be back in an hour to finish up and give you a more detailed run-down of how everything works. The installers finished shortly before he left, so everything is operational.”

For the next few minutes, he takes me through the list of security upgrades Owen had installed. Thorough as always, he’s thought of just about everything. From proximity sensors that set off an alarm when there’s movement, to cameras that cover every inch of the property. The security at the front gate is even more high-tech, with cameras and a vehicle detection system complete with a license plate reader. It’s a far better setup and much more secure than what we had at Embree’s house.

“So, here’s the intercom system.” He indicates as we walk up to a screen that looks like a smart tablet on a metal post. “There are several cameras that record anyone who pulls up to the gate. When they push this red button here, it’ll link up to the intercom panel in the house. It’s like a video call where you’ll be able to have a conversation with whoever wants to be let in. It’ll also send an alert to the app on your phone, so if you’re not at the intercom panel inside, you can still answer from a designated mobile device.

“Everything is recorded in real-time, including the license plate of the vehicle. He’s got it set up to do an automatic search, to identify a car’s registration. The same goes for facial recognition. Oh, and there’s a sensor he’ll need to install in your car. When you drive up, the system will recognize it, automatically triggering the opening of the gate without having to stop.”

“So, how do we get in now?”

“Besides the vehicle sensors, each of you will be assigned a pin which can be entered after you push this,” he points to a section on the screen. “For now, it’s just your employee ID. He said he’ll change it to something more secure when he gets back.”

Looking beyond the intercom display, I note the decorative stone-faced cement walls that surround the property. This addition, made by Embree’s father before he died, not only adds to the aesthetic appeal but also serves the practical purpose of keeping out trespassers. The cement fencing was a response to the unwanted attention following the tragic events of that night.

“This goes all around the property?” I already know the answer, but I need confirmation. He knows every inch of this place since he’s been managing the property for me since I aged into the trust.

“Yep. Ten feet tall, and goes all the way around. The only large entry point is here, through the front gate. There’s a smaller gate in the back towards the woods. By smaller, I mean it’s as wide as a regular door, but it’s reinforced steel, and Owen’s secured it with enough tech that no one is getting in that way unless he lets them.”

“Looks good.” He nods in agreement, following my gaze as I look around.

Then he asks, “Should we get on with it?”

Circling back to the car, I scan our surroundings one last time before getting in.

“Everything alright?”

“Yep. He was showing me the upgrades Owen had installed.”

“It’s crazy how different this place looks,” she adds as she reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers. “You couldn’t see the house from the road before, but now with the concrete fence, it’s like we’re entering our own private world.”

It sounds like this is her first time seeing the upgrades her dad made, which is surprising given the house is only about 10 minutes from her place.

“When was the last time you were here?” I take my foot off the brake and follow behind Pastor David’s car that’s now moving through the gate. In the meantime, I scan the mirrors around the car, ensuring no one sneaks through behind us.

“Not since the night of the fire.”

“Really?” Surprised, I look at her.

“Yeah. After everything and then with you leaving, it just…” She trails off, shaking her head slightly like she’s trying to push away the memories. “Things were hard enough after everything.”

Hating that I’m to blame for the pain she experienced, I bring her hand up and brush my lips against her skin.

“I really am sorry for everything you went through. The way I handled things wasn’t fair to you.”

With a sad smile, she says, “What happened wasn’t fair to any of us, Lucas. Least of all you. You aren’t to blame for the fire, for the grief, or the choices that were made in the aftermath. You did the best you could considering the circumstances, and in the end, it must have been the right choice because you survived it. And now, here you are.”

God, what I wouldn’t give for it to be that easy. To be released from the oppressive weight of my mistakes. To not have the memories of my past haunting my every breath. But I can’t tell her that, so instead I squeeze her hand and pray she doesn’t notice the sting behind my eyes.

“The install team is finished, so it’s just the three of us until Owen gets back. Pastor David managed the property while I was in the service, so he’ll be showing us around. If you need anything more than what is here, let us know, and we’ll get someone on it. The guys will bring the girls back to us once you give the okay.”

I’m the one who insisted the girls not be here for this. Having not stepped foot in this place since the fire, I needed to ensure it was safe for them. The charred remains of the house where I grew up are my last memory of the place, and no matter the number of times I was assured the house was in good condition and safe, I needed to see it for myself first.

When the house comes into view, Embree gasps.

“My gosh, it looks the same.”

Yeah, it does, and fuck does that intensify the hollow ache inside my chest. Unable to control it, my mind floods with images of my mom and dad. Memories of times we shared as a family. My mom digging in the garden with Jenny. My dad and I throwing a football close by. Then unexpectedly, those memories intersect with what I remember of the fire and its aftermath. The burning inferno. The guttural scream that ripped from my throat. Being tackled to the ground as I fought to go inside the burning blaze to find my parents. Jenny’s face and the sounds of her anguish. The caskets.

It’s all too much.

It’s not until a lone tear runs down the side of my face that I notice the burning in my lungs. My body is desperate for air because the sudden wave of grief has rendered me unable to breathe. The loud inhale catches me by surprise, as does the pained sound that slithers from my throat.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Embree watching me, her thumb rubbing soothing circles on my hand.

“I’m here, Luc. I won’t let you face this alone.”

As much as I want to thank her for her words and convince her I’m okay, I can’t. Being forced to relive the consequence of my greatest mistake is too much. This is where it all began, my first and biggest failure. Now that I’m back to face it, I have no idea how I’m going to make it through the tidal wave of regret and soul-crushing grief.

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Author's Note: 

The fire and subsequent death of his parents was the defining point in Lucas' life. Everything changed after that, including his perception of who he was, which then shifted the trajectory of his life. 

Though he doesn't know it yet, returning to the house where everything started is yet another defining moment. One that if he's able to work through, may right the wrongs of his past and lead him back to the life that was meant for him.

Would love to hear what you think of this scene. What did you think of Lucas' relationship with Pastor David? 

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 21

Emilia

Not long after Uncle David gave us a tour of the house, I gave Lucas the okay to have the girls brought back to us. While the outside of the home where he grew up looks much the same as it did before the fire, the interior is a different story. The layout of the rooms didn’t change, but they’ve been updated from the rustic wood paneling and accents that were in just about every room. Now, with the dark stained wood beams along the walls and ceilings, beside the creme or sage-colored walls, the space is more modern, yet invitingly cozy.

When Lucas reminded me it was my dad who oversaw the reconstruction, it brought tears to my eyes. I swear I could feel him as I walked through the door. My heart warmed from the inside out, much as it did when he held me in his arms back when I was a little girl. I can’t believe he never told me that Lucas’s family had assigned him as the trustee, leaving him with the responsibility of rebuilding the house as he prepared for his own death.

Looking around at all the thoughtful details, it’s clear to see Daddy made sure that upon his death, Lucas and Nic would have a home to come back to. This confirms what I already knew, that my dad is the most amazing man I’ve ever known.

“Hi there.”

Turning towards the voice behind me, I find Uncle David—or Pastor David, as Lucas calls him.

“Hello.”

“Lucas asked me to check in on you.” He looks unsure as he walks into the room, though his kind smile never falters. “He’s walking the perimeter with Owen, but wanted you to know the girls will be here in about a half hour.”

Looking at my dad’s oldest friend, I notice the fine lines that now mark his face. Though it’s been a long time, the open softness of his features is just as I remember them. I was around 15 at the time, which was about a year before our lives were turned upside down by the fire and cancer diagnosis. It was a warm spring day, and Daddy and I had gone to the lake for a hike before meeting up with Uncle David for an early dinner. That was the last time he came around, not that I saw him very often, maybe a few times a year from the time I was very little. It’s why I’m left wondering how it is he came to know Lucas, given I have no memory of the two of them ever meeting.

“Do you remember me?” He asks at the same time he puts his hands in his pockets.

“Yes, I do. You’re Uncle David.” I smile, hoping it puts him at ease.

“That’s right,” he smiles back before looking down at his feet. “I, uh, wanted to talk to you privately for a few minutes if that’s alright.”

When I nod but say nothing more, he points to the couch, and I follow, taking the seat he suggested across from him.

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but Lucas is unaware that we know each other.” He starts, his gaze never meeting mine. “I’ll spare you the excuses as to why that is, and just cut to the chase. When Lucas ran away, your dad enlisted the services of a private investigator. When that guy found him, he called the police, hoping they would help bring him home. Sadly, the way the police handled it spooked him, and after a physical altercation, he ran from them and never returned to the area.

“Your dad was livid when he found out. The last thing he wanted was to cause the boy any more psychological harm. It’s why he fired that first investigator and hired another. The new guy was instructed to locate, but not approach, which is what he did. By the time he was found, your dad was in terrible shape, so he asked if I’d step in to help the boy. It’s how I ended up in New York. On his deathbed, I promised your father I’d befriend the kid and do my best to bring him in from the cold streets where he didn’t belong. Once I learned where he was, I applied to become the pastor of a local church, a job I accepted, so I’d have somewhere safe, a home for Lucas to return to.”

Unbidden, the tears come.

Bringing a hand up to my mouth, I attempt to muffle the gut-wrenching sobs that burst past my lips. Memories of my father bombard me. I was his only child, so in many ways, what he did for me was expected. Yet, he was also present at every football game Lucas played, every dance recital, and track meet that Jen and I participated in. When Jen got the lead role in our school play, he was there for her too, sitting right beside her parents, as we all cheered her on.

And then there’s everything he put into place to take care of us after his passing—a long list that now includes finding a surrogate father for Lucas. It’s just as he promised me in his last letter. Dad’s been gone for almost 15 years, and to this day, he’s never stopped taking care of my Lucas.

The love I feel for my father at this moment is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It’s the kind of love that’s so ingrained into the very fiber of who I am that there’s no way to tell where it ends, and I begin.

It’s overwhelming.

The grief is so intense that it manifests in physical pain I feel in every part of my body. But at the same time, my heart is bursting with joy, wonder, and gratitude. I’m so damn lucky to have had him as my father, to have been the recipient of his love and devotion, and to have been graced with his presence for the 17 years I had him.

“It’s why I never returned to Ruby Creek after he told me he was sick. Your father begged me not to come back. He didn’t want me to watch him suffer and waste away. Instead, all he asked of me was that I help a boy who was alone, lost, and who needed someone to guide him toward the path of healing.” He gives me a watery grin, then adds, “In the end, it was the boy that helped heal me from the loss of your father.”

Exhaling loudly a few times, I do my best to regain control over my emotions. When I’m ready, I ask him, “Why haven’t you told him?”

“He’s stubborn.” He reaches up to wipe a lone tear that’s escaped from the corner of his eye. “In the beginning, I was afraid if he found out, he’d run and disappear again. I felt it would be best to wait until he’d had more time to heal, until he was ready to face his past. The thing is, I underestimated how determined he was not to do just that. By the time he’d turned 18 and had passed his High School Equivalency exam, he was no better emotionally than he was when I’d first found him. He’d lost his will to live, to achieve. He was barely existing.

“It’s why I suggested he enlist in the Navy. He was in desperate need of the regimented structure only the military could provide. There, he found a new purpose. He loved it so much that he rose to the top of his class, and he was determined his next step was to become a Navy SEAL. I was proud of him, and I supported his decision, though deep down, I knew the choice wasn’t coming from a place of healing.

“Instead, he saw the Navy as the vehicle to run away from the life he didn’t want to face. I knew that’s what he was doing because I did the same thing at his age, and while I wanted to stop him from making the same mistakes I made, I knew what he needed was to feel supported. It took a lot of work to get him to trust me, and like the traumatized child he was, it didn’t take much for him to build those walls right back up. It’s why I learned early on to guide him softly, with love, but never to impose my will over his. So that’s what I did. I gave him the support he needed to make sure he understood he had a friend in me and a home he could always return to.”

“You left your own life behind to save him?” I ask, my head shaking both in disbelief and in awe of the selflessness of this man. Sighing, his shoulders slump. Though he’s looking down at the ground in front of him, I don’t miss the look of sadness that washes over his face.

“With your father dying, I’m afraid I didn’t have much of a life left to begin with.”

Standing, he walks towards the French doors that lead to the outdoor deck. With his hands in his pockets, he looks beyond the yard to the tree line at the back edge of the property. The aura of sadness that radiates from him is palpable and brings more tears to my eyes, but when he turns to face me, his face is blank. If not for the red rim around his eyes, you would never know that just seconds ago he was on the verge of tears.

“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just come out with it. Your father and I… we were more than friends. We were in love. A love that started in our teens. A love I broke when I joined the Navy, hoping to cleanse myself of my sins. I was god-fearing. Raised by a pastor, it was made clear to me very early on that loving another man was a sin. So at my dad’s urging, I left, as my dad used to say, to get right. By the time I realized I’d made a mistake and came back for the man I loved, he was already married to your mother.

“She’d gotten pregnant after a short fling, and your dad, being the kind-hearted man he was, married her. We didn’t take our relationship past the point of friendship for many years after that. But that all changed when your mother began seeing another man. Your dad found out, and she told him she was in love with the man and wouldn’t be giving him up. She also refused to end the marriage and threatened to take you away from him, should he file for divorce, so your dad stayed.”

“Harold….” His name, bitter on my tongue, comes out in a sob. “It was Harold, wasn’t it?” When he nods, I drop my face into my hands.

God, this makes so much sense. It explains why the minute Daddy died, my mother disappeared. Why she’d be gone for days at a time, leaving Jenny and me to fend for ourselves as we grieved alone. And then just six months after we buried him, Harold was already living under our roof. Before the year anniversary of Daddy’s passing, my mother had already married him.

Imagining what my father must have gone through during his marriage to my mother makes me so angry. The thought he was alone at the end, after having sent the man he loved away to take care of Lucas, while my mother continued her affair, is devastating.

When the cushion beside me sinks, comforting arms come around me. Collapsing into Uncle David’s arms, I’m lost to the thoughts of what his last days must have been like. If only he’d told me. If only he’d trusted me enough to tell me what was happening. I could have been there for him during his last moments.

“She left him alone to die, didn’t she?” I sob into his shoulder, knowing this was the man my father had been in love with for most of his life. The man he sent away when he needed him the most, so he could save the broken boy who meant everything to me.

“I don’t know. She refused to tell me anything.” His voice cracks as he rocks us gently.

“Why didn’t he tell me? If he had, I could have been there with him in the end. I could have helped you with Lucas. So much time has gone by and if I’d known, I could have fixed everything. I could have brought us all back together.”

“Darlin, I’m a firm believer that things in life happen for a reason. All of us are put on this earth to walk a path. Your daddy thought he was doing right by you, Jennifer, and Lucas. You had all lost so much, and I’m guessing the last thing he wanted before departing this earth was to put a wedge between you and the only parent you had left. You had your mom and Jennifer, which had to be enough. Lucas had no one, which is why he sent me.”

As much as that makes sense, everything in me wants to reject it. When Daddy died, I didn’t have the mom I needed. Instead, my mother ignored my grief. She disappeared and made herself scarce. She did everything to push me away so she wouldn’t be burdened with the sadness that overwhelmed me. For so long, it felt like she hated me for the way he circled the wagons around me as he prepared for the end.

But now…now I see.

I was my father’s daughter. What she resented was that she was forced to keep Harold away for as long as she did. Most of all, she resented that in my daddy’s absence, she was now stuck with me.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done.” I pull away to look into his dark brown eyes. “I’ll forever be grateful to you for honoring my father’s wishes. For loving him so much that in the end, you sacrificed your last moments with him to do as he asked. Thank you for loving Lucas, and for taking care of him all these years so he wouldn’t be alone. Most of all, thank you for leading him back to us.”

With the back of his hand, he wipes away a stray tear from my face and then says, “That’s just it. Him coming back, that was all you. The moment he laid eyes on you, he couldn’t walk away. He told me as much.” He smiles.

Overwhelmed, I choke back a fresh wave of emotion, then nod. “I’ll keep your secret.”

“Thank you. I promise I will tell him just as soon as we get this little situation you’re in resolved. Plus, right now, he needs a little time. Being back in this house is taking a lot out of him.”

“How long are you planning to stay with us?” When he shrugs, I rush on. “Please stay. I know he’d love to have you, plus…I’d love to learn more about my dad. I want to hear all about your relationship, and about how you met. I’m desperate to know all the things he never got a chance to tell me.”

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Author's Note:

If you want to revisit Emilia's father's final letter, you can locate it in Chapter 4 of Broken Vows (Book 1 in this series).

In this chapter, we witness Emilia's father's dedication to ensuring the well-being of Emilia, Jen, and Lucas after his passing. The chapter also unveils the backstory of Pastor David's introduction to Lucas. 

I'm eager to hear your thoughts on this emotional scene. Do you believe Pastor David's choice to withhold the truth from Lucas for all these years was the right decision?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

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Chapter 22

Lucas

“Hey, we’re heading out,” Ben announces as he walks up to shake my hand. “You guys good?”

“Yeah, should be. Thanks for everything today,” I respond, making a conscious effort to ease the tension in my jaw. The truth of the matter is that having everyone around while we set up the house served as an effective distraction. Now, with everyone leaving, the gravity of my past mistakes lingers in the air like a predator waiting to make its move.

“Don’t mention it. After everything, we were happy to help. I’ll check in with you first thing tomorrow. James and Zeb are all set up in the guest room with the equipment, so if anything goes down, you’ll have plenty of backup.”

I’m still impressed by how swiftly Owen and the team transformed the downstairs guest room into a control center. Its proximity to the main entryway of the house made it the logical choice. After clearing out all the bedroom furniture, the guys arranged an array of monitors along the front wall, each connected to the various cameras and sensors strategically placed around the property.

From this room, the team will oversee security. The moment anyone approaches, whether a person or something else, we’ll be alerted. This time, every conceivable scenario has been considered, including the potential threat of another drone. It’s all thanks to the jammer technology Owen installed, which will prevent another drone from getting too close. The best part… once activated, the drone will automatically return to its launch location, enabling us to trace it back and identify the person responsible. The first time they caught us off guard, but this time, we’re fully prepared and ready to follow it back to its source.

“Great. Thank you.”

Following him to the foyer, we arrive in time to watch Embree hugging and saying goodbye to all her friends. Hannah, Nic, Jen, and her cousin Annelly were kind enough to stop by to help her get the girls settled. I’m glad they were here, for it gave Emilia a chance to open up to her friends about some of what’s happening in her life. I say some, meaning only the high-level details. The things that are safe to tell, considering the security implications and the negotiated terms with the FBI.

Having them here also made it so I could put a bit of distance between Embree and me while I worked through my emotional turmoil. Now that her friends are leaving, I suspect she and I will have a lot to discuss. Including our intimate exchange this morning, and what it means for us going forward.

“See you, big brother,” Jen says as she wraps her arms around me. “Take care of our girls, will ya?”

“You got it.” I force a sure smile and lean in to kiss her forehead.

As everyone makes their way out the door, Embree comes to stand beside me. Putting my arm around her, I pull her in close. I’ve barely said a word to her since we arrived this morning and the guilt is eating away at me. There’s a lot I don’t care to discuss tonight, but what transpired between us on the side of the road is not one of those things. I can’t let this night end without ensuring she understands that the way I’m acting has nothing to do with her or the future I see aligning for us. I just hope I can find it within myself to push through the crippling anxiety long enough so I can explain my feelings to her.

Being back in this house has stirred up emotions that, try as I might, I’m struggling to control. For most of the day, I felt like climbing out of my skin, the unease so strong I had to keep myself moving to avoid falling apart. So I stayed busy with continuous perimeter checks, camera and sensor inspections—anything to divert my mind from the fact that this is where my parents took their last breath.

“I’m heading out to do one last check before we lock down for the night,” James informs us as he trails behind the group making their way to their cars. “Zeb’s in the control room going through the feeds. If you guys turn in before I return, have a good night.”

With a goodbye from Emilia and a subtle nod from me, he shuts the door behind him. The ensuing silence that descends around us is like a punch to the gut, stealing the air from my lungs. With everyone gone, and the darkness of night upon us, grief crashes over me in a tidal wave. My insides vibrate with a sudden surge of panic, adrenaline flooding my veins. My heart pounds in my chest, and my breathing grows ragged as every instinct screams at me to move, to run, to do everything in my power to escape before the grief overwhelms me.

“Hey, are you okay?” She steps in front of me and wraps her arms around my waist. Her eyes meet mine with a look of concern.

Uncomfortable under the scrutiny, I draw her close until her head rests comfortably under my chin. Kissing the top of her head, I inhale her summery scent.

“Yep, just tired,” I murmur, the tremor in my voice a dead giveaway I’m lying.

In response, she kisses my chest right over my heart. “Tell me. How can I help you?”

I wish I knew. I wish I had some idea of where to begin untangling the mess inside my head. Short of going back in time to the night of the fire and granting me a second chance to make a different choice, there’s nothing that can be done.

“There’s nothing you or anyone else can do. What’s done is done and there’s no going back.” My tone is more forceful than I intended, but before I can take it back she pulls away. I hate how she’s looking at me, which is why I can’t bring myself to meet her eyes.

“Lucas, you need to stop this.” With a furrowed brow, she jabs her pointer finger into my chest. “What happened that night was not your fault. You couldn’t have saved them, and had you tried, you might not be here standing with me right now. You could have died with them, Lucas. And then so would I, because without you, I wouldn’t have wanted to survive.” Her eyes well up, and the shrillness in her voice forces me to react.

“That’s not true, Embree.” I reach up to cup her face, using my thumbs to wipe away the silent trail of tears running down her cheeks. “Without me, you thrived. You went to college, got married and had a family. Without me, you made a good life for yourself, and maybe if I’d died, you’d have been better off. It would have been easier for you to move on if the night of the bonfire and that last night between us had never happened.”

In a fit of rage that’s unlike her, she swats my hands away. “You think I thrived? Look around you, Lucas!” Her face is red and contorted to match her fury. “This is what became of my life. What happened to me after I lost you. This is what happened when I woke up one day to find you gone, and I no longer cared to be an active participant in a future you weren’t a part of. I was so tired of trying to survive without that missing part of my soul that I turned to the first man willing to overlook the fact my heart was already promised to you.” She ends in an angry sob, her body damn near collapsing in on itself as she fights to swallow back her anguish. When I go to reach for her, she takes a step back.

“No. Don’t touch me. Not right now. Not when I need to get this out.” Shocked by her reaction, I drop my arms to my side and watch helplessly as she closes her eyes, taking a few seconds to pull herself together. “This is not okay, Lucas. It’s been 15 years since that awful night and we’re both still stuck living in the past. We can’t continue like this, you blaming yourself for the accidental death of your parents, me blaming myself for not being able to save you! Where does it end, Lucas? When does it fricken end?”

She’s right. Fuck! I know that she’s right, but how do we do this? How do we let go of the trauma that’s so deeply ingrained in us it’s become the very foundation of who we are now?

Closing the distance, I bring her into my arms. When she collapses against me, I reach under her knees, lifting her full weight against my chest. Overcome by the emotional exchange, anger spirals through me. I did this. Somewhere in my haste to outrun my feelings over being back in this house I forgot how difficult this must be for her too. How is it that even as I love this woman with every fiber of my being, all I seem to do is bring her pain? My issues… my baggage. If there’s any hope for us, I have to find a way to get beyond the past, the regret, the inconsolable grief.

Kissing the top of her head, I head towards the steps. The feel of her face nestled into the crook of my neck grounds me as I mull over possible ways to fix this. Even though I don’t deserve her, today more than ever, I’m determined to keep her, to love her, to cherish her for the rest of my days.

She’s my home.

My happiness.

She’s everything.

When I get her upstairs, I’m so focused on taking care of her that surprisingly, I don’t feel the expected ache at the bottom of my chest as I pass what used to be my father’s office. Nor does it hit me when I walk through the threshold of my childhood bedroom, located across from my sister’s old room—where the girls now sleep. The memories of my losses, my failures, and my regrets are all pushed aside and made insignificant by the pain of the woman in my arms.

Gently laying her down on the bed, I settle on the other side and draw her into my arms. With her head resting on my shoulder and our hands intertwined over my chest, I inhale deeply, determined to find the right words to help me fix what I’ve broken.

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Author's Note:

The events of the day have taken a toll on both Lucas and Emilia, which is why this exchange escalated so quickly. This is another instance where Emilia's strength and determination to seek healing surpass her usual tendency to avoid difficult emotions.

I believe this is a good thing, and hopefully, a step in the right direction for both of them.

What do you think of this chapter? Do you think this will be enough to help them turn the corner towards the path of healing?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 23

Lucas

“I’m sorry.” I choke out. The emotion thickens my voice, making it impossible to continue.

Fuck!

How do I push through this? I need to find a way, especially now that she’s confirmed the same emptiness that’s plagued my life, has also laid claim to hers. While I resigned myself to this dismal existence long ago, I can’t bear the thought of her enduring the same hell I have.

“I know you’re sorry. We both are, but at this point, those apologies feel like meaningless platitudes. Isn’t it about time we call a truce with the universe, with ourselves, and say enough is enough? Because as hard as it is to acknowledge this… I just don’t see a way forward for us, Lucas, not as long as we’re both stuck living in the past, blaming ourselves for circumstances beyond our control.”

“You’re right.”

“Then say it. Out loud. If you really mean it, say it and acknowledge that what happened that night wasn’t your fault.” When she turns her head to look at me, our tear-filled eyes connect. “Even if you don’t believe it. Say it now, and then repeat it whenever the doubt and self-loathing creep in, so that someday soon, you’ll finally believe the words to be true. Say it to me now, Lucas James Holt, and I promise to do the same.”

Inhaling sharply, my head swirls with the words she wants to hear, but the guilt, the regret, they weigh on me like a barricade, making it difficult to speak.

“What happened that night…” My head shakes involuntarily as if it refuses to accept the words I’m about to utter. Desperate tears spring from my eyes as I struggle to push through the ache inside my chest. “What happened that night… wasn’t my fault.” The visceral sob that claws up my throat nearly breaks me apart.

The burn in my chest becomes unbearable as the grief I’ve evaded for 15 years surges out in one overwhelming eruption that cuts me raw, right down to the bone. With my heart torn from my chest, I’m flayed open and bleeding, setting up the perfect scenario for my demons to pull me straight down into the pits of my personal hell. As the room around me descends into darkness, I hear her call out.

“Lucas? Lucas, breathe!”

Her desperate pleas cut through the whooshing in my ears, but it’s not enough. The pain from my broken ribs, infected gashes on my back, and burnt flesh make it impossible to register anything but the foul smells of decay and human excrement that turn my stomach until I nearly heave. Yet amidst the turmoil, I feel it—the weight of a body on top of mine, initially terrifying until the scent of coconut and vanilla breaks through the debilitating haze.

“Lucas. Look at me. Open your eyes and look at me, please!”

“Embree,” I whimper, sounding more like a child than a grown man, but I couldn’t care less. Relief floods through my veins as I realize it’s her straddling me. In a rush, I wrap my arms around her in an embrace that screams of desperation.

“I’m here, Lucas. I’m right here,” she whispers, trailing kisses from one side of my face, down to my neck, before repeating the gesture on the other side.

“Don’t let go. Please don’t let me go,” I beg, as remnants of the panic attack cling to me like quicksand trying to pull me back under.

“Never.” Gripping the sides of my face, her eyes pierce mine with a resolute steadiness I’ve never seen from her. “I’ll never let you go, Lucas. Never.”

Taking hold of her wrists as she cups my face, I rush to explain, “I-I’m sorry. I know we said we wouldn’t apologize anymore, but I-I need you to know. What happened…” I swallow hard, pushing that twisted ball of fear and regret down as far as I can, if only to get her to see that I’m fighting for her. “I’m willing to try. It was my first time. It was harder than I thought, but I swear, I’ll do it over and over again if it means I get to keep you.”

Leaning in, she brushes her lips over mine in a tender move that brings more tears to my eyes. “I’m already yours, Lucas. I’ve always been yours and that’s never going to change.”

Wanting her to see I mean it, I try again, “What happened that night… wasn’t my fault.” This time it’s her who sucks in a breath. “And what happened to me, me choosing to leave, it wasn’t your fault either, Emb.”

Overcome, she takes a second, but then she acknowledges, “It wasn’t my fault.” Then, dropping her forehead to mine, she reiterates. “It wasn’t our fault.” For several breaths, we just lay there, breathing each other in as our hearts slow and begin to beat as one.

“Lucas?”

“Hmm?”

“I need to say this, so please try to just listen. What happened the night of the fire was a tragedy beyond measure, and if I had the power to turn back time and give you your parents back, I would in a heartbeat. I know losing them on the same night you came to the bonfire to tell me you loved me is a painful memory and something you’ve come to regret.

“But Lucas, all these years later, we have a second chance. An opportunity for something good to come out of such a catastrophic, life-altering night. Your parents wouldn’t want you spending your life punishing yourself, any more than my father would want me to give up on choosing love. This is our chance. Let me show you how it could be, Lucas. Let me show you how it should have always been.”

“Show me. Please,” I implore, completely mesmerized by this confident, sensual side of her I’ve never seen. Somewhere deep down, a voice reminds me this isn’t a good idea, but the prospect of what she’s offering is everything I’ve ever wanted. Everything I dreamed of when I was stuck back in that hole, fighting for my life so I could return to her.

Looking back and forth between my eyes, she takes a second. When she’s found whatever she’s looking for, she leans down and takes my mouth with a passion and fire that blows my damn mind. Unable to help myself, I tangle my fingers into her hair, while her tongue swipes into my mouth, taking what she needs, like she’s trying to erase our combined anguish and pain.

Moaning into her mouth, I pull our bodies as close as I can get them, before sliding a hand down her back and then to her ass. Needing her closer still, I bring my hips up to meet her core, and this time she’s the one who moans. Like she wants more, her legs open wide, bringing that sweet, hot center right over where we both want it. Seeking friction, her hips move over me, meeting every one of my thrusts with a fervor that ignites a fire in my loins, the likes of which I’ve never felt. And when she mewls and writhes above me as she blows my mind with the way she’s making love to my mouth, I lose all self-control.

In one swift motion, I flip her onto her back. Not missing a beat, her legs wrap around my waist, pulling my erection exactly where she wants it, as her hips continue their rhythm. Sliding back and forth, her pussy glides over my dick, and even through our clothes I swear to fucking Christ, I can feel how wet she is.

“Emb…” My body’s just as desperate for release, so I need to slow this down before I end up embarrassing myself.

“Don’t, Lucas. I need this. You. Need. This.”

Fuck! I do. My need for her is an imperative at this point. Like the way plants need the earth, or fish need the sea, my need for her is absolute. She is my lifeline, the one who infuses life into every fiber of my being. This newfound certainty deems all my previous concerns insignificant. Even the question of where her heart lies, whether with him or me, it no longer matters because I’m making my stand.

She’s mine.

From this moment until forever.

And it’s about time I claim all she’s offering, finally erasing him from her life once and for all.

When she reaches up to remove my shirt, I break our kiss long enough to help her. The minute it’s off, her hands reach for me, her fingers exploring, caressing, setting my skin on fire with sparks of lust and desire. Needing to feel her bare skin, I slide my hand under her top, reaching until I find those luscious breasts that have haunted my every thought. The lace bra does nothing to hide the hardened nipple. Squeezing, I roll it between my fingers until she makes the most delicious sounds. Noises which I inhale, and swallow down with the enthusiasm of a starving man.

When her hands push against me I sit up on my knees, mesmerized by the sight of her reaching for the hem of her shirt, which she slides up over her head, exposing her beautiful breasts. Even covered by sexy black lace, the creamy mounds call to me. Searching her eyes, I await her permission. The minute it comes, I reach behind her, unclasping the bra, then ever so slowly, I slide the straps down her shoulders, making sure she feels the slight feathering of my fingertips as I caress down her soft skin. When her flesh breaks out in goosebumps and she shivers with anticipation, I can’t help the pleased smile that pulls on my face.

With those glorious breasts exposed, my fucking mouth waters. The sight of them steals my breath, and it’s not until I take a nipple in my mouth that I’m able to breathe again. Licking and sucking on one, while with my other hand, I explore the other. The feel of her fingers pulling on the hair at the nape of my neck elicits a groan from deep within my chest, and suddenly I need her mouth. So I kiss a trail up her chest, then her neck, before making it to her lips as I lay her back down on the bed.

With eyes still closed, I lay my forehead on hers. The sound of our breathing matches the rush of our lust, making this slight pause feel like pure torture.

“Be sure, Emb.” It’s all I manage to say between ragged breaths.

“Look at me, Lucas.” It takes another second before I’ve gathered the self-control necessary to comply, and when I do, the answers to every question I’ve ever had about us are answered in that one look. “It’s always been you. You are my one. My only. I’m yours and always have been.”

The swell of emotion drowns me in both sorrow and elation. Sorrow because all this time I traveled the world, mission to mission, running scared. Afraid to stop fighting the never-ending wars of the world, so I wouldn’t have to face the loneliness that enveloped me since the moment I left her. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to deal with the intensity of how much I missed her, or the smothering emptiness that stole all the color and joy from my life. And yet, all this time, she was here. Still mine. Still waiting for me to return to claim her.

“I don’t have a condom,” I tell her in a rush, my mind working through how fast I can get to a store while chastising myself for assuming that not having them on hand would stop us from getting to this point. “I haven’t needed any for a long time. But I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone for a few years, and I was tested after everything that happened.”

“I…” When I lose her eyes and her face contorts with a look of shame, my stomach drops. It’s then I realize what she’s thinking but is afraid to say. It abruptly turns my lust and desire into a fiery rage I can barely contain. “I’m so sorry, Lucas,” when she finally looks at me, her eyes are a pool of sorrow. “We have to wait,” she whispers.

Jesus FUCK!

Even now, in a moment that should be solely ours, the bastard comes between us. Even miles from her, he’s still twisting her up, making her feel bad about herself while inhibiting her ability to move on. It makes me want to call Mason to figure out where he is so I can make him suffer for what he’s done to the woman I love.

Swallowing down the fury, I reach for her chin and kiss her. Hard, deep, and desperate, until she’s once again writhing under me and breathless in a way that assures he’s no longer in her thoughts. Only then do I slow things down, my lips tender and soothing. Caressing and working to erase all traces of the moment he just stole from us. When I bring this kiss to an end, I look into those whiskey eyes with a promise of my own.

“It’s better this way. It took a lot to get us here, which is why we owe it to ourselves to do this right. I don’t want to rush anything about us. Instead, I want to savor every moment, every kiss, and every touch, so when I take you, Emb, when I finally make you mine, it will be perfect, just as you deserve.”

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note:

Thanks to the little push Emilia gives him, we finally see Lucas coming around to the idea that maybe it's time he shed the guilt of the past. It's a difficult prospect for him, given that it's not in his nature to be kind or forgiving with himself. 

What do you think of this chapter? Do you think this is a step in the right direction for Lucas? Are you concerned that because he's only doing it for her, it may not be enough in the end, especially if their relationship continues to be tested? I'd love to hear your thoughts. 

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 24

Emilia

I feel his eyes roaming over my face, even before the haze of sleep releases me. There’s never been a day where I didn’t love this man, but waking up in his arms after the breakthrough we shared yesterday, the word love doesn’t do justice to what I feel.

“Hi,” he whispers, sweeping a finger down the side of my face before leaning in and taking my lips in a slow, sensual kiss that ends much sooner than I’d like.

“Hi,” I smile back, only looking away to track my finger as I trace over one of the smaller scars that line his chest. While to him these marks represent failure, to me, they are a symbol of survival, of his triumph and strength. Most of all, they are a depiction of his love for me.

“This feels different. Like we’ve turned a corner and come through on the other side.” Mesmerized by the goosebumps breaking out under my touch, I only nod. “Look at me, sweetheart. There you are.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “I meant what I said last night. In case I didn’t make myself clear, I’m in, all the way in, Embree. When you said this is our second chance, you were right. It’s time we put the past to bed and grab onto the life that was meant for us to share. You’re my present, Emb.” He kisses my lips softly. “My future.” He kisses me again. “My everything.”

“I love you.” Overwhelmed and so incredibly happy, I reach for the locket around my neck, the one Daddy gave me before he passed. In his letters, he promised me this day would come, and after finding out that it was he who sent Uncle David to help Lucas, I’ve never felt my father’s influence and presence in my life, more strongly than I do right now.

“And I love you.”

“About last night. I’m sorry…”

“I thought we said we wouldn’t apologize anymore,” he interrupts.

“I know.” I consider his words while searching for ones that will accurately convey the depth of my regret. “But the way things ended, I feel like it needs to be said.”

“Nothing ended, Emb. If anything, last night was a beginning for us. There’s no timetable here. As far as I’m concerned, now that we’ve chosen to be together, we have the rest of our lives to figure this stuff out.”

“I know. I just… it feels like my past, my mistakes. It all keeps getting in the way.”

“Stop, sweetheart,” stroking a lock of hair off the side of my face he implores. “Aren’t you the one who told me you didn’t see a way forward for us as long as we continued holding on to the past? For you, I’m willing to do the work, Embree. Whatever it takes, I will do it for a chance at a life with you. But for this to work, you have to promise me the same. Whatever happened before last night is inconsequential. The only thing that matters is what we do going forward.”

I can only nod, realizing for the first time that overcoming our past might be more challenging than I expected.

“Promise me,” he playfully kisses down the crook of my neck, making it tickle.

“Okay, okay…” I chuckle, not trying very hard to escape his playful advances. “I promise.”

“Yeah?” The way he tilts his head to the side makes me smile.

“Yeah, now kiss me, Mr. Holt, before that panty-melting smile of yours turns me into a puddle.”

“Mmmm,” he groans into my neck as he resumes his neck kisses. “The sound of you all wet for me is quite enticing.” His lips continue their descent, slowly trailing down to my chest, his tongue laving the way in a feathering touch that leaves me shivering in anticipation. “No kisses for you. Not yet.” When he reaches for the hem of my sleep shirt and pulls it up, exposing my bare breasts to the cool air, I close my eyes and swallow back a moan.

How does he do this?

How does he unravel me so completely when he’s barely even touched me?

“No, sweetheart.” He circles the very tip of his tongue around my nipple. The tingling that erupts from that small, tiny graze spreads like wildfire all over my body. “I don’t want you to think.” He does it again, this time to the other side. “Don’t close your eyes.” Taking his time, he continues, alternating from one side to the next with barely there swipes of that sinful tongue. “No holding back. Just feel.”

When he blows over the puckered flesh, I moan, and with every slight graze over the sensitive buds, my breathing grows more rushed. Desperate for more, I arch my back and spread my thighs slightly. Arousal floods my system, the heat of it flushing my skin with an intensity I feel pulsing in my core.

“Lucas…” I hiss, as once again he blows over a pebbled bud.

“You’re mine, Embree. And it’s about time I show you what that means.”

And then he captures my lips with an all-consuming kiss that steals my breath yet floods me with life-giving oxygen. His lips are demanding. It is the same passion and desperation as that first night I saw his scars, but this time there is no fear or uncertainty. Instead, his mouth is assertive, taking what I’ve offered like he’s staking his claim on what’s always been his. When I tangle my fingers into the back of his hair, he groans. His tongue delves deeper, stroking the inside of my mouth with a fervor that makes my insides quake.

When I shudder through another moan, he pulls back. Kneeling between my legs, he goes back to trail kisses down my neck, to my chest, taking a hard nipple into his mouth, before doing the same to the other. Without further delay, he works down the rest of my body. Those lips and that tongue, lighting my insides up like magic, pushing me closer and closer to the edge, even though he’s yet to touch that part of me.

When he reaches the apex of my thighs, our eyes lock onto one another. His eyes are hooded, yet sparkle with a look of awe, especially when he notices the way I writhe at the feel of his fingers gently caressing my folds.

“You’re fucking glorious. So goddamn beautiful.” When the tip of his finger slides over the sensitive bundle of nerves at my core, I gasp. When he notices the slight tremble of my legs and the sinful way my hips chase the sensation, he closes his eyes and lets out a breath. “Fuuuuck. You’re close, aren’t you? I’ve barely touched you and you’re already so fucking close, so goddamn wet.”

“Please…” I beg, wanting this release more than my next breath. I need him to touch me. To own me. To finally make me his.

“We don’t have any condoms, sweetheart, so for now we improvise.”

Leaning closer, he swipes the tip of that magical tongue, reaching just inside my folds, deep enough that I bite my bottom lip to stop the pleasure-filled squeals that threaten to rip from my throat. He watches closely, his rapt attention split between his fingers as they slowly and methodically work to build me up, while taking in every gasp, every twitch. Information that he then uses, repeating his ministrations over and over again, as he diligently works my body up into a frenzy.

Just as my insides begin to flutter, he pushes two fingers into my entrance and wraps his lips around my tender nub, and when he sucks; I fly! Right off the precipice of that wondrous peak, directly into the depths of the darkest yet brightest oblivion. Like an explosion, I detonate around his fingers and his mouth. The pleasure is so intense that I shake and convulse with every nerve ending that fires in ecstasy.

When my awareness returns, his body lays over mine as he pours all of his lust and longing for me in a kiss that intensifies the vibration still simmering deep in my core. Like he’s noticed I need to catch my breath, he breaks away. Dropping his forehead to mine, we both lay there for a few seconds, breathing each other in as I soak in the last few moments of the greatest orgasm of my life.

“You’re so damn beautiful.” With eyes still closed, he cups the side of my face and tenderly brushes his lips over mine. “So fucking perfect.” Shifting to lie beside me, he pulls me into his arms, then looking down at me with a roughish grin, he asks, “You okay?”

Still out of breath, I fight to hold back a smile. “You’re looking awfully smug there, Mr. Holt.”

“Am I?” he chuckles as he brushes his lips over my forehead.

“Yes. You are. And for the record, I’m more than okay.” Unable to help it, I smile wide and let out a contented sigh. “That was amazing. Give me a minute to recover and I’ll be more than happy to reciprocate.”

“Stop talking, woman,” he groans and then drops a rough peck on my lips. “I’m a man, Embree. One who prides himself on his self-restraint, but I’m asking for mercy here. I’m hanging on by a thread, so no more talk of reciprocity or anything of the like.” Hearing how sexually frustrated he is makes my smile grow impossibly wider. “Now, who’s looking all smug?” With those sinful lips, he tickles my neck again, sending us both into a fit of laughter.

When he stops, he leans back onto his pillow, one arm on his torso, the other still pulled tight around me. “God, I can’t remember the last time I laughed like that.”

“It’s beautiful.” When he peers down at me with a look of confusion, I explain, “It’s how I remember you. Back when we were still kids. Before teenage hormones took over and complicated our lives with feelings and emotions, we didn’t know how to handle.”

“Before the fire…” At this, the darkness that plagues the adult version of the man returns.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” After everything we talked about, how could I be so stupid?

“Hey,” he turns to his side so he can peer into my eyes, “You did nothing wrong. Part of moving forward means we need to learn how to talk about the past. We are who we are because of what happened. It’s part of our story. It’s the reason we know not to take opportunities like this one for granted. I don’t want to ignore the past, for to do so would be like pretending my parents never existed. For once in my life I want to grow from this, Embree, not run from it or bury it.”

One night. Just one night is all it took for this man, this wonderful specimen of a warrior, to realize that beyond the tragedies he’s endured, there is a life worth living. One night and seven paltry words—first uttered with so much uncertainty they seemed to hurt—that’s all it took to absolve him from the weight of the guilt he never deserved to carry in the first place.

“What happened that night wasn’t your fault,” I whisper.

Wiping the stray tear that escapes from the corner of my eye, he whispers back, “That’s right. What happened back then wasn’t our fault.”

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note:

Lucas is right! It does feel like they've turned the corner and I for one couldn't be happier. There's still a lot they need to do to overcome the trauma of their past, but I'd say they're finally in sync and moving in the right direction. Oh, and did you see Lucas's playful side? I think this is the first time I've seen him truly happy.

I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter. Given what you know so far, do you think the relationship is moving too quickly?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 25

Emilia

“Jen, this isn’t going to work,” I mutter, twisting from side to side, nervously eyeing my reflection. The olive-colored maxi dress I brought with me hangs limply around my frame, looking as shapeless as it does well worn.

“Why not? It looks fine to me. Plus, you love that dress. I’ve seen you wear it dozens of times.”

“Exactly. It’s what I wear to normal, everyday events.” I scowl, staring down at the offending piece of fabric, wondering how it became one of my favorites.

“Goodness gracious, what’s up with you? It’s only my brother, for God’s sake.”

What is up with me?

WHAT IS UP WITH ME!?!

Everything is up with me!!! From the fact that today marks our first official date and I have nothing to wear, to the reality I’ve yet to talk to my best friend about my budding relationship with her brother. Oh, and let’s not forget the cherry on top of the craptastic sundae that is my life: the girls and I are in hiding because there are people determined to use us to get revenge on my ex-husband.

“Jen, please. This is serious. I’m freaking out,” I whine, feeling tears stinging in my eyes. When she notices my distress, her face pinches with concern. Knowing this is it, I collapse on the edge of her bed, shoulders slumped, bracing for the fallout of this conversation. Dropping the pair of shoes she was holding, she comes to my side and takes a seat next to me.

“We need to talk.”

“Of course. What is it, Emi?”

It’s only been 4-weeks since I signed the divorce papers that ended my 7-year marriage, and 2-weeks since the girls and I moved into Lucas’s childhood home. From the outside looking in, the pace at which we’re moving forward with our new relationship would draw incredulous looks and judgment from anyone. And as I’m looking at my best friend now, knowing she’s aware of the mess that is my life, I wouldn’t blame her if she hated that Lucas and I are together.

“I’m in love with your brother.” I blurt out, unable to meet her gaze. My attention fixates on my hands, wringing nervously on my lap. “I’ve loved him all my life, Jen. Even as I married Creed, the love I felt for my husband was nothing compared to what I feel for Lucas. And I get it. I know I’m not in the best place right now, and that I’m probably the last person you’d want for him, but….”

“You finish that sentence, and so help me God, I will punch you. Hard. Like, bring tears to both our eyes kind of hard.” Jen interjects firmly. Her hard stare is laser-focused on me, and I understand why she doesn’t want us together. If I were in her shoes, I’d probably feel the same way.

“Emilia, I don’t know anyone in this life who deserves to find happiness more than you and my brother. The three of us have been through pain and heartache the likes of which most people will never experience. It’s why we deserve every bit of the happiness we can find,” she continues, her hand resting on my hands as she looks into my eyes.

“I’ve found my happiness. In you, my brother, our friends, my husband, and now my baby. If Lucas is your happiness and you are his, why would I ever stand in your way?”

“Look at my life, Jen! Everything’s a mess. I just got out of a seven-year marriage to a man who up and disappeared after leaving a heaping pile of trouble on my doorstep. How could you possibly want your brother to be with someone like me?” I express, my emotions a mix of anger, frustration, and fear. I’m terrified that after all is said and done, I will be to blame for Lucas’s undoing. I love him with all my heart, and while I’d never do anything to purposely hurt him, what if that’s exactly what I do?

“You already said you love my brother, which leaves only one question. Are you still in love with Creed?”

“No! God, no. I love him because he’s the father of my children, but the only man I am in love with is Lucas.”

“Then I’m fine with it.”

“Why?” I shake my head. “How could you be okay with this?”

“My God, Emi. Why the heck wouldn’t I be okay with this? It’s like you want me to be against it.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… what if I mess this up and hurt him? What if everything goes wrong and he leaves again?”

“Do you intend to hurt him?”

“No.”

“Good. Then I don’t see a problem. How could you think I’d be anything but happy? This is exactly what I always wished for the two of you.”

“I can’t believe you’re so nonchalant about this. My life’s a wreck. I can’t imagine too many mothers or sisters who’d want someone like me anywhere near the men they love.”

“Look, Emi, I’ve known you my whole life, which is how I know you’re what he needs. And yes, you might have a little baggage, but my brother, he’s got an entire warehouse full of unpacked crap he’s stashed away and never dealt with. The way I see it, he’s who I should be mad at for not sorting through his mess before coming back to sully up your doorstep. Except here’s the thing, I’m kind of relieved he did, because there’s no one better to help him unpack that crap than you.”

“Don’t you think we’re moving too fast, you know, given everything that’s happened?”

“Honestly? No. For god’s sake, it’s been more than three years since Creed left, and far longer since he stopped being a good husband. That’s a hell of a long time since you last had a man who loved you and supported you and those girls the way you all deserve. On the other hand, you and my brother have spent a lifetime loving each other from afar.

“What exists between the two of you is special. Like a once-in-a-lifetime special. I felt it when he told me how he’d run into you the first day he came back. I saw it with my own two eyes at your mom’s, when Ben and I walked in on the two of you looking like you were about to kiss, and that feeling was cemented when I watched him threaten Harold before whisking you away to safety. What’s happening between you isn’t rushed. If anything, I’d say it’s long overdue.”

Staring down at my hands, I contemplate her words. In a lot of ways, I know she’s right. Creed stopped being a husband and father long before he left us. And yes, while Lucas and I have loved one another our entire lives, I can’t shake the little voice inside my head that keeps reminding me of the last time I thought he and I were on the same page, only for him to suddenly disappear.

“I’m scared,” I confess, my feelings ringing true, yet shame twists in my belly as if giving them a voice is a betrayal to Lucas.

“Of what?”

“Everything…” I force a chuckle, though the sadness in my tone is unmistakable. “For starters, that eventually my problems will prove too much for him and he’ll no longer want a life with me. That one day life will get too hard and he’ll leave me like before. And let’s not forget his sister is my best friend. What if something goes wrong and I end up losing not just him, but you, too?”

“You’ll never lose me, Emi,” she assures, pulling me into a hug. “While Lucas is my brother, you are so much more to me than blood.” When she pulls back, she takes my hands in hers. “You and I have been through hell and back together. You were there for me after my parents died and Lucas left me. We grieved together for the three of them, and then again for your father the day he too left this world. You were at my side when Benny and I started dating. When we got married and then later through my journey with infertility…”

Choked up with emotion, it takes her a moment, but then she says, “You were the one who intervened when I gave up and nearly destroyed my marriage. You are so much more than my best friend, Emilia. Our relationship has been battle-tested and there is nothing in this world that could ever destroy it.

“Now about the rest, I know you’re afraid he might leave you someday, and given what you’ve been through, I get it. But here’s the thing, what if this is it? A lot has changed. He’s told me himself that he regrets having left us and he’s promised to never leave us again. He’s endured enough struggle and hardship that he knows how incredibly rare a chance like this is. I think he’s ready, Emi.”

“But what if it turns out he’s not?” Defeated, I drop my head to hide the emotion pooling in my eyes.

“When my brother loves, he loves with his entire soul. It’s in his nature to give more than he takes, for he doesn’t believe he’s deserving or worthy of anything more. You have a choice to make here, and I’m telling you, think long and hard before you decide, because I know my brother. If you tell him it’s best the two of you remain friends, he’ll step aside and give you what you want, but be prepared. This is the first time I’ve seen him ready to embrace a better life for himself, and if you close that door, he’ll take it as confirmation he was right. That he’s not good enough or deserving of happiness. He’ll close himself off to the possibility, and you will lose him. Forever.”

“That’s the problem,” with tears running down my face, I look into her eyes. “I can’t lose him, Jen. Not again. I don’t think I’d survive it.”

“Then what do you have to lose? Lean into the fear and take the leap. See where it might lead. Otherwise, you’ll lose him anyway and spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been if only you’d made a different choice.”

She makes it sound so simple, but she’s right. If I go through with our date tonight, it will at least give us a chance. The alternative is far too painful to even imagine, which is how I know this is right. He’s my heart, my life. My past, present, and my future.

“You’re right.”

“So, you’re going through with it? You’re going on this date and rocking my brother’s world?” With her fists under her chin, she bounces excitedly in her seat.

“Yes, I am.”

“Eeeek,” she squeals, wrapping me in a hug that almost knocks us both off the bed and leaves us laughing. When we’ve pulled ourselves together, she takes me by the hand and pulls us both to a stand. “This is so perfect! You are going to knock his socks off by the time I’m done with you.”

It doesn’t take long for Jen to pull an outfit together from her closet. It’s a beautiful blush-colored dress, with a purple floral print. The crossover surplice bodice ties at the waist, perfectly accentuating my figure, and the high-low skirt shows off my legs. For the first time in a long while, I feel beautiful. Sexy.

“You look stunning. Matter of fact, that dress was meant to be yours, so keep it.”

“What?” I turn away from the mirror to look at her.

“I said keep it. I bought that dress about a year ago and never found the occasion to wear it. Now with the pregnancy, I for sure won’t be wearing it, so it’s yours.”

When I turn back around to look at myself in the full-length mirror, Jen slips a tear-drop necklace around my neck.

“There. Now it’s perfect. Oh, and here…” she rushes off to her closet, coming out a second later with a pair of blush sandals that match. “Try these.”

“I was thinking of wearing the black heels I brought.”

“Nope. My brother’s orders were to make sure you had comfortable footwear, which is why I gave you those. He specifically said no heels.”

“O-okay.”

“Seriously, Emi, he’s going to lose it when he sees you.”

“Thanks to you,” I tell her with tears in my eyes. “I cannot tell you how grateful I am for all this.” I run my hands down the outfit. “For supporting me and talking me off the ledge. I couldn’t imagine my life without you.”

“I love you, too, but don’t you dare cry. We don’t have time to fix your makeup.” She comes to stand next to me, taking in the outfit and inspecting her hard work. “Now, Lucas will be here in about twenty minutes to pick you up. That gives you plenty of time to decide how far you want this night to go. In the meantime, I’ll be downstairs with Ben and the girls. Come down whenever you’re ready.” She winks at me and then makes her way to the door of her bedroom.

“You sure it’s okay for the girls to stay tonight?”

“Of course. They’re my nieces and I promise you they’re safe here. The way Ben obsesses about security, our home might as well be a prison. Plus, you know Lucas would never have agreed to this if he didn’t trust us to keep them safe.”

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note:

Emilia is a nervous wreck, as her first date with Lucas approaches. Despite her strong desire to be with him, her past trauma makes her question whether it's worth the risk of getting hurt again. I love how Jen stands by her friend, reminding her that though Lucas is her brother, the two of them share a bond that in a lot of ways is far greater.

I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter. Do you think it's a bad sign that Emilia is questioning whether to move forward or not?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 26

Emilia

At the sound of the doorbell, my heart begins to race. This is it. The night we’ve both been waiting for since the day we moved into his house and vowed we’d do the work to move our relationship forward.

It honestly surprises me we’ve made it this long without giving in to what we both so clearly want. Since that first morning when he blew my mind with the way his mouth made love to my body, he’s refused to let us go much beyond that point. Knowing Lucas as I do, it’s probably his way of proving to me that what we are is so much more than sex. However, there are times I wonder if he’s holding back out of fear of what may happen when we finally cross that line. The times I’ve tried to talk to him about it, all he’s said is he wants to do things right, that having sex before we’ve had a first date cheapens what we are. It’s why the minute he suggested we go out tonight, I jumped at the chance.

As the swirling in my belly intensifies, I listen for the unmistakable sound of the front door opening. Jen and Ben’s gentle teasing carries in the air, as do the sounds of the girls’ squeals as they greet him. Closing my eyes, I can picture him lifting them into his arms the way he does. That look of awe washing over him as he soaks in their love with the focus of someone who knows that nothing in this life is forever.

There’s no question how much my girls love him, but it’s the careful way he handles their innocence, protecting their little hearts while building them up with confidence, that leaves no doubt he was meant to be theirs. And while I know it’s too soon to reconsider his role in their lives, I hope that if things continue as they are, he’ll someday be willing to step in and be the father my girls deserve.

With one final breath, I look over my reflection, and once I confirm everything is in its place, I swallow back the nerves and make my way toward the steps. As nervous as I am, my world has never felt more right. And while yes, there’s still so much that could go wrong, Jen was right. After everything, I owe us both this chance.

As I turn the corner, my body flushes with heat. His gaze is like a sensual caress, sending goosebumps breaking out over my skin. He stands at the bottom of the steps in dark wash jeans and a fitted aquamarine dress shirt that matches his eyes. The rolled-up sleeves accentuate his muscular forearms and make me yearn to be wrapped in his embrace.

Reaching for my hand, he guides me down the last few steps until I’m standing in front of him. Angling his head, he leans down, dropping a tender kiss on my lips. With our eyes locked onto one another, everything around us disappears.

“Uh…okay, umm, girls, what do you say we go see how Uncle Ben is coming along with those ice cream sundaes? Good idea, right? Okay. Let’s go. You two have fun,” she whispers that last part as she and the girls sneak off into the kitchen. Not that we notice. The magnetic pull between us renders everything outside of us unimportant.

“God, you’re stunning.” His voice is reverent as he slides his hands over my hips. Pulling me against his hard body, he tangles our lips together in a claiming kiss. The deep groan that reverberates through his chest stimulates that deep ache inside me, that can only be alleviated by him. “Christ, Embree,” he growls, as again his lips move to devour me. “How in the hell am I going to get through tonight?”

“I don’t know what you mean?” I smile against him, knowing exactly what he’s talking about since I can feel its thickness through the front of his jeans.

Tangling his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck, he commands my body, coaxing me to open so he can make the kiss deeper. “I know I said we should wait,” he gasps. “But I don’t think I can,” he moans, his hands moving down to the bodice of my dress, stopping just below my breasts, where he catches himself and slowly works to end our kiss.

“Jesus,” he pants, eyes shut tight as he drops his forehead to mine. “I love you so damn much it fucking hurts. After being with you day and night the past few weeks, the three hours we were apart were…” he blows out a breath. “Seeing you. Touching you. Feels like coming home.”

The words spill forth with such raw intensity and vulnerability that I rise onto my toes and wrap my arms around his neck. This man… there’s a depth to him that defies description. Yes, he is a protector, embodying all the qualities that come with that role. Yet, he’s also tender and emotionally open in a way that reflects his deep trust in me. He inspires me to be the strong one. The confident partner. The resolute guardian and protector of the wounded 17-year-old boy he’ll always be.

“I love you too, Lucas,” I croak out, my voice thick with emotion. “I’ll always be your home.” Caught in the moment, we hold each other tightly, both of us seemingly reveling in the surreal realization that after all these years, we’re finally here.

“You ready to go?” he asks, pulling back, but still holding both of my hands as if determined not to break our connection.

“So ready,” I reply, unable to contain the wide smile spreading across my face.

Hand in hand, he leads me to his truck, where he proceeds to blindfold me. The feel of his fingers as he secures the satin fabric over my eyes makes me shiver with anticipation.

Once we’re settled in the car, I can’t help but ask, “Will you tell me where we’re going?” Nervous and excited, it’s taking all my self-control to not bounce in my seat like the girls do.

“Patience, sweetheart.” The soothing gentleness in that gravelly voice further heightens my anticipation. “I’m sorry for mauling you earlier. Seeing you in that dress and knowing what tonight means for the two of us, you could say I kind of lost my head.” I swear I hear hints of a bashful smile in his tone.

“It’s alright. Since we’re being honest, I kind of like it when you lose your head.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yep. It sort of turns me on.”

He clears his throat. “Is that right?” I can’t help but smile at his feeble attempt to feign indifference.

As we remain quiet for the rest of the drive, the air thickens with sexual tension. It doesn’t help that with the loss of my sight, my other senses are heightened. The faint smell of his cologne mixed with his woodsy scent fills the air, leaving me desperate for the feel of his skin against mine. No barriers. Just us, coming together in the way we were always meant to be.

The feel of his thumb tracing light circles over the skin of my hand only intensifies my growing desire, especially as I remember how that thumb and those fingers so expertly stimulate my most sensual parts. The thought has me squirming in my seat as my cheeks heat.

By the time the car pulls to a stop, I’m flushed, and it feels like I’m burning up from the inside. If Lucas notices, thankfully he doesn’t mention it.

“Stay right there, sweetheart. No peeking. I’ll come around to help you out,” he says, lifting my hand to feather a light kiss over the skin before exiting the car. A few seconds later, he opens my door and guides me into the comfortable evening air. With one hand on my lower back and the other holding mine, he leads me through a grassy area.

“Thank you for this, Paula.” He switches his hold on me and I feel him reach out to hug the person he’s speaking with.

“Anytime Lucas. Happy to help. Nice to see you again, Emilia.”

“Mrs. Souder?” I know that voice. Paula is married to Henry Souder, who is the owner of the small-town neighborhood bar and grill in Ruby Creek.

“Yes, dear. My, don’t you look gorgeous,” she adds, pulling me in for a quick hug. “Well, I’ll be on my way. You two enjoy.”

And then she’s gone. The sound of her car leaving the area fills the air around us. It’s not until the sound fades that Lucas finally speaks.

“This is it, sweetheart. Are you ready?” The butterflies in my belly come alive. Unable to find my words, I nod.

When he steps in front of me, I lay my hands on his firm chest. Reaching behind me, his fingers work to loosen the blindfold. In less than a second my eyes are free, and I’m greeted by those pools of sea green that own my heart and soul.

With a sheepish grin, he asks, “Ready?”

“Yes,” I breathe the word as my free hand reaches up for the locket Daddy gave me.

When Lucas steps aside, allowing me to see all he’s put together for us, all I can do is gasp.

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note:

The night they've both been waiting for is finally here! Though they've already decided to move forward with their relationship, for Lucas this date cements the start of their new life together.

I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter. What do you think Lucas has planned for their first date?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 27

Emilia

With tears in my eyes, I take in the breathtaking scene.

We’re on the grounds of his childhood home, where we’ve been living for the past fifteen days. Just before the line of trees to the west of the property, several large blankets have been layered on the ground with pillows of various sizes in pastel colors framing the space. Wooden pallets are stacked and arranged elegantly, serving as makeshift tables. Various flower arrangements of all shapes and sizes decorate the space, and the mason jar candles further set the ambiance against the backdrop of the setting sun. There’s a large wine bucket in the center and a delicious assortment of bite-size hors d’oeuvres displayed on silver trays.

“Do you like it?” That his words are laced with uncertainty makes me love him that much more.

“Oh my gosh, Lucas. This is amazing.” With my fingers clinging to Daddy’s locket, I smile from ear to ear, happy tears trailing down my face.

“I hoped you would.” He moves behind me, pulling my back against his chest in an embrace that magnifies the heat coursing through me. “I know I promised you a proper date. I’m sorry this is the best we can do given the circumstances.”

Turning around, I frame his face and look deep into his eyes. “This is perfect. You’re perfect.” His thumb wipes away a stray tear before he passes his lips tenderly over mine.

“Will you join me?”

“Yes!” I giggle, joy vibrating through every cell in my body.

Joining him on the blankets, we take a seat. He spends the next few minutes setting up the food and filling our wine glasses. When he settles beside me, he gives me one of his rare bright smiles.

“I love it when you smile like that,” I sigh.

“Like what?”

“You know. Like you used to when we were kids. Like you’re happy and not weighed down by life or adult responsibilities.”

“Kind of how you’re smiling at me right now? With your eyes lighting up your entire face in a way that steals my breath.”

“I steal your breath?” It comes out all breathy like I’m still that lovesick schoolgirl, which thinking about it, I guess I am.

“Every day.” He sweeps a finger over my face. “You always have.” He leans in, taking my lips in a brief kiss that ends much too soon. “But as much as I’d love to keep kissing you, it’s more important to me that I feed you first. Wait here.” He kisses the tip of my nose and then moves to the makeshift tables at the edge of the blankets.

When he returns with two plates, we fall into a comfortable conversation. Like we’re both ignoring the charged air around us, we keep to lighter topics as we feed each other bite-size morsels of stuffed mushrooms, mini flatbreads, sliders, and even oysters.

“This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”

Wincing, he says, “I’m sorry about this, Emb. You deserve so much more than a makeshift picnic in the sideyard of the house where you’re being forced to live.”

“Hey, don’t do that.” I take his hand and wait for him to look at me. “Don’t downplay this for us, Luc. This is a big step, a fresh start, remember? Nothing else matters but us.”

“You’re right. Christ, you’re right.” He lifts my hand and brushes his lips against the back of it.

“Now, are you going to tell me how you pulled this off?” I ask, watching his eyes heat as I seductively suck on my fingers.

“Mmm…” Knowing exactly what I’m doing, his mouth pulls into a grin. “After you agreed to go on a date with me, I reached out to Henry and told him what I was looking to do. He shared that his wife is a former sous chef and would be happy to help me out.”

I can’t help the smile that pulls at my cheeks as I watch his eyes follow the bite of food he puts to my lips. When his fingers graze my skin, my tongue darts out, eager to taste him.

“Christ, Emb…” he closes his eyes and his head falls back for a moment. “You’re killing me.”

Determined to prove to him this is right, I take the plates and sit them on the small table beside me.

“I’m done waiting.” With my gaze locked onto his, I move to his lap. Stradling him, I wrap my arms around his neck and bring our lips together in a deep, searing kiss that burns with lust and leaves us both panting. Like I’ve flipped a switch, his movements turn frantic. Desperate for more, he pulls me as close as he can get, his hands digging into my hips in a bruising way that sparks my need.

With every stroke of our lips, we grow more eager, almost feral as our bodies rush, moving of their own accord to explore, to squeeze and tease. Meanwhile, my center meets his every thrust with an urgency that won’t be denied. In tune with my body, he positions me just right, guiding me to glide over his erection in a way that makes me gasp and sends sparks of pleasure shooting through my body.

“Jesus Emb, I don’t think I can wait. I need to be inside you.” Between kisses he continues, “I want to mark you, to fuck you. Make you mine…”, he moans, setting off more of those delicious explosions in my core. “But…”

“No,” I shut down his objection. Afraid he’ll deny us again, I take over the kiss. “Don’t say it. Please! Don’t think. For once, let’s just do what feels right.”

No sooner are those words out of my mouth than I’m flipped onto my back. Luc pulls away, crawling over the blankets as he rushes to blow out the candles that light up the space. Once he’s sunk us into darkness, the night sky blankets us. The light of the moon and twinkling stars settle around us like voyeurs, ready to witness the final coming together of two souls, whose fate was written long before tonight in those very same stars. The atmosphere is surreal, just like this moment.

When he lays his warm body over the top of mine, I can’t help but close my eyes as they prickle with unshed tears. As my life and the man I’ve always wanted converge into the present, I can’t help the immense gratitude and relief that overcomes me.

“Still with me?” He asks, brows furrowed with genuine concern.

“Yes. Just kiss me and don’t stop until you’re inside me.”

It must be what he wants to hear, for his lips crash into mine with the passion and fervor of a man whose control has been hanging by a thread for weeks now. While Lucas has kissed me many times before, never has it been like this. So untethered. Like he’s both claiming ownership over my body while worshipping it. His mouth is consuming and demanding, while also protective and reverent, rendering me helpless but to submit to him.

As he kisses down my neck, I become aware of the hardness that grinds over me, spreading sweet pleasure that makes my insides flutter. With quick precision, he lifts my dress to my waist, and the sensation of his lips as they trail over my collarbone fills me with a sense of desperation. Reaching for his jeans, a thrill rushes through me when he allows me to unbutton and unzip them.

“Pull these down,” I gasp as my longing to touch him overcomes me, the need to feel the warmth of his length, to draw him into my hands and bring him pleasure overpowers my every thought.

When he does as I ask and releases the object of my obsession, I whimper with relief. Taking him in my hands, our breaths catch in unison as I get to do what we’ve both craved. When he moans, it stirs something deep inside of me, and it’s like his pleasure is connected to my own. It further fuels my need to please him and fill him with my love. Anything to prove to him I was put on this earth to be his.

“Fuuuck! Be sure, Emb. Please be sure this is what you want.” His words are rushed and said between the ragged hisses and moans that arise with every one of my strokes.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, Lucas. I’m yours. Always have been and always will be.”

With a groan, he sits up on his knees. Reaching under my dress, he removes my panties in one quick move before running his fingers over my wet folds. “I’m going to fuck you now, sweetheart, I’m going to make you mine” He reaches into his wallet where he grabs a condom and tears the foil packet with his teeth.

“No, let me. Please let me,” I beg, needing to touch him, to pleasure him. With hooded eyes, he scans down my face, to my lips, my chest, and down to my sex before he stops to watch my hands as I sheath him. When I’m done, his eyes return to me, especially when I sit up to pull my dress off, exposing my breasts.

“Fuuuck…,” he groans, “Embree, you have to know once we do this, you’re mine. Tell me you understand that. It’s only me and you, from this day forward. I won’t have it any other way.”

With my hands, I pull his face down to my lips. “I’m yours now and always.”

And with that, he surges forward and impales me. My insides burn as they stretch with sweet pain that makes my pleasure centers come alive.

“Oh god…” I squeal as my insides contract, his deep guttural moan serving as confirmation he feels it too.

Slowly at first, he begins to move, pulling out of me carefully before sliding back in through my wet folds. Once he’s certain I’m ready, he picks up the pace. His eyes never leave mine as the electricity that sparks between us renders me incapable of focusing on anything other than the pleasure that’s pulsing within me. As he angles his hips to allow him deeper access, my body heats, especially when the new position grinds perfectly over the bundle of nerves that nearly topples me over the edge.

As our breathing picks up, so do his thrusts. Desperate to feel his skin, I pull at his shirt, needing it out of the way. Sitting up, he tears it up over his head, ripping the buttons and setting them flying over the blanket in a move that says he doesn’t care. When that bare torso comes down over me, my fingers move to explore, taking in the twitch and flex of his muscles as he works us up into a frenzy. When his mouth zeroes in on one of my breasts, sucking on a stiff bud, a cry escapes my lips as I almost detonate around him.

“Jesus! Fuck, you feel good.”

As the pleasure begins to overtake me, his lips return to mine. His tongue moves in, plundering and making love to my mouth with the same intensity as his cock. Sliding a hand over my ass, he changes the angle of my hip again, this time squeezing the tender flesh as he pushes us deeper towards the edge of oblivion.

As my pleasure builds, he swallows down my cries. The coiling inferno inside me becomes more demanding, turning me into a needy, wanton mess. Desperate to soothe the burning pleasurable ache that’s driving me insane, my hips thrust to meet his in a fevered rush, chasing what I want, what I need, what only this man can give me.

“Luke…” I pant, “I’m going to come.”

“No,” he bites my lower lip before licking away the sting. “Wait for me. Don’t you dare come.” His tone is sharp and only heightens my need to give in, to let myself fall into the blinding vacuum of pleasure that’s fighting to suck me under. Trying to hold back seems to only expand the sensation, pushing me ever so closer to that edge. I need it. Like the air I breathe, I need to come, so in between cries of pleasure and frustration, I beg.

“Please!” I whimper, “I need to…”

“Come, Embree.” And at that moment I explode, shivering and convulsing with my release. The sound of my heart whooshes in my ears as I close my eyes at the overwhelming pleasure that slams through every orifice of my body. As my insides continue to contract, I feel him chase his own release. One, two more thrusts, and then he’s there. His body twitching over me as he convulses deep inside of me, provides just the right amount of friction to send me spiraling into yet another spine-tingling climax.

“Fuuuck…,” is all he manages to say, as my body squeezes and milks every single ounce of his pleasure. Dropping his forehead to mine, we both melt into one another. Catching our breaths and coming down from the height of ecstasy, feeling sated, spent, and utterly fulfilled. Still inside me, he pulls back and looks deep into my eyes. Stroking the sides of my face lovingly, he tells me, “You’re mine now and I’m yours completely. No more bullshit. No more waiting. This was me claiming you.”

Unable to help myself, I snicker playfully. “I had no idea you were such a caveman.”

“Only for you.” His lips come to mine in a slow, reverent kiss that speaks of love and feels like need. “Jesus,” he moans. “I’m so fucking in love with you, I almost don’t know where to put it all.”

Cupping his face in my hands, I respond, “I love you too, Lucas James Holt.” Then I pull him in for a kiss that speaks of promises and feels like forever.

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note:

Lucas wants so badly, to make the date special for her he doesn't realize she means it when she says it's the most romantic thing anyone has done for her! Considering how badly he wants to move the relationship forward, he' so cautious with her. It forces Emilia to one again be the strong partner Lucas needs her to be. 

I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter. Is it at all concerning that Lucas was so hesitant to take that final step?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 28

Lucas

While in captivity, the only way to silence the pain and terror was through memories of her. Like an out-of-body experience, I would escape into the dark recesses of my mind and reach for her. There we would sit next to each other on our rock. I would play my guitar and sing to her as I bathed myself in the brightness and tranquility of her smiles. That I’d found a way to escape my reality was so welcomed that it wasn’t long before I began to imagine what it would feel like to touch her and have her body wrapped around mine as I made love to her.

By the end of my captivity, I had built this entire life for us. A life where she was my wife, and the mother of my children. On the worst days—those I was sure would be my last—I would picture her at home waiting for me to return from deployment. Then I’d see her devastation as she was told I wasn’t coming home, and I’d watch as she and our children struggled without me. It was during one of those fevered dreams that I decided I had to fight to get back to her…to them. For 28 days, that decision kept my heart beating and my lungs breathing. Somewhere along the way, that fake life I’d imagined cemented itself into my reality until I no longer remembered it wasn’t real.

Finding myself here tonight, with her in my arms after having just made love, feels like a dream. It’s so surreal that I’m afraid if I blink, I’ll wake up back in that god-forsaken nightmare, only to discover this is all just a figment of the imagination of that dying, broken man. It’s why I bury my nose in her hair and breathe her in. She smells like home, like my future, and most of all, my happily ever after. Three things that not long ago I would have told you weren’t meant for me, but because she’s here in my arms after everything we’ve both been through, for the first time, this feels like our destiny.

“Are you sorry we didn’t wait?” The tone of her voice gives away she’s unsure of how I’ll answer.

“Not even a little.” I kiss the top of her head, unable to help the smile I can’t seem to wipe from my face. “That was…” I pause, searching for the right words, but realize there’s nothing in the entire dictionary that could encapsulate what just happened between us. “It was amazing. Earth-shattering. Out of this world.” The sound of her laughter fills my heart with a happiness I never knew was possible. “So, no. Absolutely no regrets. You?”

“No. No regrets…” she sighs. “I only wish we hadn’t lost so much time. I know we were just kids when everything happened, but even back then, I knew you were the only man I’d ever love like this.”

Wanting her to see the truth in my eyes, I turn her gaze towards me. “I know we agreed to stop apologizing, but I need to say this almost as badly as I think you need to hear it. I’m sorry I left you. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t regretted it. I wish I could go back and do things differently. But since I can’t, I promise to spend the rest of my days making it up to you.” As her eyes fill with tears, I lean in to seal my promise with a brush of my lips. “I don’t want to waste any more time, Embree. You’re mine. Until the end of time.”

Nodding rapidly, her lips curve into a smile I feel down to the depths of my soul. “Yes, yes. I’m yours.” She wraps her fingers around my face and pulls me down for a greedy kiss.

Her soft lips take and demand in a way that almost unmans me, and when I feel her tongue poke at the entrance of my mouth, I can’t help the groan that rips through my chest. Just as I’m getting ready to climb back on top of her and take what she’s offering, my watch vibrates with an incoming message. I already know who it is without looking, and though I wish I could ignore it, there is nothing more important to me than her safety.

Bringing the kiss to an end, I explain. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. We have to get dressed so I can relight the candles.” Though she sits up and reaches for her dress, I can tell she’s confused. “When I set up for the date, I deactivated the cameras on this side of the yard. The guys were relying on the lights from the candles to monitor we were okay. That was them ringing me to find out what was going on, so if we don’t want them coming out here to see what we’re up to, we better get dressed and get all those candles relit.” When she catches on and rushes to get her dress back on, I smile and pull her in for one last kiss.

A few minutes later, we’re both dressed, and the candles are lit. Embree sits between my legs, her back resting against my chest as I trail gentle kisses down her neck. At the feel of her body writhing with need, I groan.

“If we keep this up, we’ll have to end our date and take the party inside.” I moan, wrapping my arms around her as I bury my face in the crook of her neck.

“Would that be so bad?”

“Yes, because with the girls staying with my sister tonight, you and I have all night to take the party upstairs to our bedroom. Which means we should take the opportunity to not let this picnic go to waste.”

As I hold her, we fall back into silence. Her body melts against mine as the enormity of what we shared settles over us. Like it was when we were together all those years ago, everything feels right. Easy. Even the silence.

“Lucas?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can you tell me what happened to you after you left?”

At her question, my muscles tense. It’s an involuntary reaction from years spent avoiding the memories, but as I process what she’s asked and work out how much to tell her, I’m surprised there is no hesitation. I want her to know everything, even the parts no one else knows.

“You remember how every summer my parents would take Jenny and me to New York?” She nods. “Sometimes we’d go just to visit the museums, or to spend time in Central Park. Other times we’d end up in Times Square, or they’d take us to a Broadway show. I loved those trips.” Weighed down by the memories of my parents, I sigh.

“I remember that. I always wanted to go with you guys, but Mom never let me.”

“You would have loved it. My favorite part about New York was the street performers. I couldn’t help it. I was mesmerized by their acts. Their songs or their dances. There was even a time when I saw a man swallow a sword. I loved it so much that my parents would stop for hours to let me watch, often handing me wads of dollar bills so I could drop money into their hats, coffee cans, or whatever they were using to collect donations.”

With the familiar ache stirring in my chest, I have to stop. Taking a second, I breathe in and out. Consciously working to exhale the grief so it doesn’t overwhelm me. I appreciate her patience through all this. Like she knows what I need, she waits me out until I’m ready to continue.

“When I left Ruby Creek, I had this plan. I would make my way to New York and become a street performer. At that time, I was looking for a way to feel closer to my parents, and with the house gone and Ruby Creek off limits, New York was the only place that made sense.” I sigh, “So I grabbed Clara, my clothes, and with the money I had, I bought a bus ticket.”

“What happened when you got there?”

“Well, things didn’t go as planned. With nowhere to sleep and no money for food, I realized I wasn’t going to make it without help. So, I made friends with a couple of street kids who taught me how to survive. They showed me how to get food, where to sleep, and where I could go to wash. During the day, I’d perform for the tourists, and then whatever money I made, I would use it to buy dinner. It was the only meal I allowed myself.” I pause, remembering the intense hunger that at times made me want to give up.

“Anyway, I did okay during the warmer months, but then winter came and royally kicked my ass,” I chuckle. “Between sleeping in the cold and the lack of tourists to perform for, it felt like I was always starving. One night I got so cold that I broke into a car. I threw a brick right through the front passenger side window…” I shake my head, still surprised by what I did, even after all these years. “Then I climbed into the back seat of that car to escape the icy wind and blinding snow and fell asleep.”

I kiss her neck and bring her in closer. “I woke the next morning to a policeman standing over the open door. The owner of the car was right beside him, furious at the snow-covered front seat of his car. I was arrested and taken to the police station, where I refused to give them my name or age, and made it clear there was no one I could call. I gave them nothing, partly because locked in that cell I was given a warm bed and three square meals a day, which as cold and hungry as I was, it was like being locked up at one of those fancy hotels.” I smile at the memory. I was so relieved to finally be warm that I prayed they wouldn’t change their minds and kick me back out into the cold.

“The other reason I refused to give them my information is that I didn’t want them turning me over to foster care. For two nights I stayed in that police station, I think mostly because some of the cops took pity on me. On the third day, Pastor David showed up outside my cell. I recognized him. He was the sandwich guy.” I can’t help but chuckle. “I don’t know why he took such an interest in me, but for weeks he’d been showing up at the park where I hung out with my friends. He’d bring us sandwiches, sodas, and cups of hot chocolate, all from the local deli across the street.

“He told us he was a pastor at a local church and each time he came by, he’d ask us if we needed a place to stay. Unfortunately, with my friends outright rejecting his offer, there was no way I was going to say yes. He was a stranger, after all. An unknown, whereas the streets, as inhospitable as they were, had become my home. But that day when he showed up to see me in jail, I knew there was no going back to the streets for me. I couldn’t hack it anymore. I didn’t want to. This time, when he asked if I’d go home with him, I said yes.

“That was it. He paid my fines and got me out of there. He took me to his house and showed me the room where I could stay as long as I agreed to get my GED and spend a few hours a week doing chores around the church. The thought of a warm dry place to sleep, as much food as I could eat, a job and studies to keep my thoughts occupied… there’s nothing I wanted more.

“It didn’t take me long to figure out he was a good man. That he truly cared about me. It was like he understood me, even as I shared nothing about my past. He never pushed for answers or information, but he gave me his time. His attention. He filled a little of the void I was left with after my parents died. Not all of it, of course, but just enough that I began to lean on him. To need him and want to please him. He was good to me, took great care of me.” The memories of everything Pastor David did for me stir up emotions I haven’t thought about in years. Clearing my throat, I push myself to continue.

“Then, about a month before I turned 18, he told me about his military service. How it gave him purpose when he was lost and trying to figure out his life. He told me how it gave him back the feeling of being a part of something greater than himself, and how it helped him become the man he was. It was on my 18th birthday that I told him I wanted to enlist. He helped me get copies of my social security card, birth certificate, and even a driver’s license.

“Two months later, I enlisted, went through boot camp and all the training, then moved on to become a Navy SEAL. My first two and a half years of service were non-stop training, with the next decade spent traveling the world from mission to mission. Going wherever I was told made it so I never had to face my real life or the past I left behind. It’s why I decided to stay, to do the job for as long as I could.”

“Until you got captured.” Her voice is quiet. Sad.

“Yeah. Until I got captured.”

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note:

In this chapter, we learn a bit more about what happened to Lucas after he left Ruby Creek. 

Knowing what we do about Pastor David and how it was Emilia's father who arranged for him to be a part of Lucas's life, how do you think Lucas will react once he knows the truth? Do you think he'll be angry? Or maybe relieved?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 29

Lucas

“Yeah. Until I got captured.” I pause, feeling a surge of emotion, and then clear my throat. As hard as this is, I feel compelled to tell her as much of my story as she wants to hear. “Embree. I’m okay sharing this with you, but if at any point it becomes overwhelming…”

“It won’t, I promise. Whatever you went through, I want to know. It will help me understand how to best support you.” She assures me, her voice brimming with such certainty and concern it sends a wave of moisture prickling behind my eyes.

With my arms wrapped around her, I pull her back against my chest. “We were following up on a lead and got caught in an ambush. Even before the shooting started, I knew something was off.” I pause, remembering how everything around us suddenly went quiet.

“I can’t explain it. There was just something in the air, something I could sense. By the time I stopped to issue my men orders to retreat, it was too late. Before I knew it, there were five of us face down in the dirt, with our hands tied behind our backs, and our bodies beat to shit.

“At some point, I lost consciousness, and when I came to, I found myself in the darkest dark I’d ever seen. I didn’t know it at the time, but they were keeping us in an underground bunker. I remember I was lying on my stomach, with my hands and feet bound, and when I attempted to roll over, I nearly passed out from the pain.” Shaking my head, I attempt to push the memory away and take a deep breath.

“I remember how relieved I was when I called out to see if my brothers were with me, and sure enough, they responded. It was then we realized the bindings on our legs were connected to the wall by a chain that was no more than two feet long. It was barely enough space for us to move, which beat to shit as we were, wasn’t so bad at first. Except they left us there for two days. No food or water. Freezing our asses off, having to go to the bathroom literally in the same space we slept. It was miserable.

“The worst part wasn’t the hunger. It was the thirst. A calculated move on the part of our captors to not only weaken us, but to use it as leverage in exchange for information. When that didn’t work, they resorted to torturing us. They would take us one at a time, forcing the others to watch as they did unspeakable things to us. Things the Navy warns you about during training, but which you pray will never come to pass.

“After a few hours, they called a young girl down. As I watched her, I remember feeling sorry for her. She couldn’t have been more than a year or two older than Alyssa, and those bastards stood around laughing as she struggled to carry a large bucket of water down those steep steps.

“When she finally made it down, she stopped in front of one of my brothers, but the asshole in charge stopped her and sent her to me. That’s when I realized they knew I outranked the rest of the guys. It made me more valuable. Something I should have considered before I took that first sip, but I was so damn desperate for water that I eagerly drank, assuming she was there to offer the same to all of us.”

Fuck! The memory of what that decision cost us is too much to bear. As panic claws up my throat, Embree turns to face me.

“Hey…” Coming up on her knees in front of me, she takes my face in her hands. “It’s okay. We don’t need to talk about this.”

“Yes, we do,” the words catch in my throat, and I swallow hard. “We should. I want you to know.”

“Okay,” she whispers, her eyes searching my face for a beat before she closes the distance and brings those soft, warm lips over mine. “But if it gets too hard, we can stop. You said we have the rest of our lives, which means we don’t have to go over all of this tonight.”

Taking her hands in mine, I nod before continuing. “After I had my fill, the little girl went to the next three guys and let them drink. When she got up to do the same for Marx, the head asshole called her back. Then, to our horror, they climbed the steps out of that hole, plunged us back into darkness, and left without giving Marx a single drop. It would be another three days before they returned. By that time, Marx was gone. The four of us were forced to watch as our friend, our brother…”

My voice cracks and I take a moment to breathe through the overwhelming guilt. I’m bombarded by the memories of those three days, the feeling of helplessness as we watched our friend deteriorate, knowing we took something that wasn’t afforded to him. I shake my head, still in disbelief that I let it happen.

“He died. Marx. Carlos Mendoza. He was the first.”

As she wipes a stray tear from my face, she asks, “What was he like?”

Thinking back to a better time, I’m surprised when a sad smile forms on my lips. “He was huge. Not tall per se, but he was one of those guys who had muscle upon muscle. He spent all his free time on PT; working out was his escape from the hell we sometimes had to endure. And he was funny. He would crack jokes at the worst possible times, even when everything had gone to shit, he could make everything feel lighter.” I sigh, breathing through the emotion as I allow it to sweep through me.

“After Marx died, the beatings and torture continued. The thirst was ever present, but somewhere along the way the hunger disappeared. A few days after we lost Marx, we lost Decoy. Dean Coyle. He was beaten so severely he’d stopped waking up. We could see him breathing, but there was no movement. He wouldn’t answer us. When the seizures started, we knew he didn’t have long. A few hours after that, he was gone.

“Next was Keegs. Victor Keegan. I was unconscious when it happened after enduring my own beating. It was Schmidtty who told me they’d come in and disemboweled him, right there where he hung in front of us. When I woke up, he was still hanging on the chains hung from the ceiling. His bowels spilled on the floor in front of us. It took another hour or so before he, too, succumbed. It was part of our torture, forcing us to watch our friends as they suffered and died. It was despicable. Inhuman.”

This time, I don’t fight the sob that rips from my throat. Closing my eyes, I surrender to the constant ache that has plagued me since I lost my brothers.

“Tell me, Luc.” She tries to distract me, to pull me back from the grief that’s sucking me under. “What do you remember most about them?”

Sucking in a breath, I fight to push through the darkness, determined to see this through to the end. I grit my teeth and tell her what I remember. “Dean, Decoy as we called him, he was such a mama’s boy.” Somehow I manage to chuckle, as with my thumb I catch one of the stray tears running down her cheek.

“He was tough as nails, but when it came to his mama and his sister, he was a big ol’ softy. And Vic…” My voice breaks as I think of my friend and what he endured. His death is one I wish I could cleanse from my mind. “Keegs. He put the team in teammate. He always had our backs, always there when we needed someone to step up. The first guy in, the last one out. He was the guy you wanted at your back when shit hit the fan.”

“I’m so sorry you lost them, Lucas.”

“Me too.” I pull her in, taking her lips in a desperate kiss that sends my heart racing and somehow eases away the guilt that hangs heavy around my heart. This woman is my salvation. My fucking cure. She has no idea what this night means to me, and there are no words that could properly express it. So I pour all of those feelings, all my appreciation, into the way I worship her mouth, her skin, that body that’s made for me. When I pull back, one look into those warm, tear-filled eyes tells me all I need to know. She understands.

“Tell me. What happened next?”

“After we lost Keegs, they moved us into the city, which we knew was a bad sign. It meant they were getting ready to trade or sell us off. Either way, our days were numbered. So that first night when they came, I fought back, hoping they would kill me so they couldn’t make any money off our misery.

“I broke someone’s nose with a head butt, then fought the others the best I could with only my feet, swinging from the chains where I hung by my hands. It hurt like a motherfucker, but by then I welcomed the pain, invited it in, figuring it meant I was closer to the end. When they finally got control of me, they took me down and beat the living daylights out of me…just to the edge, right before I lost consciousness.

“To punish me, they turned their anger toward Schmidtty. They beat him before pouring gasoline all over him and setting him on fire. But those animals weren’t done. They rolled him in a blanket to put him out, then they left us. They didn’t bother to chain me this time, so I crawled over to him. He was still alive. Whimpering.”

Unable to stop it, wracking sobs burst through me. When she wraps her arms around me, I bury my face into the crook of her neck, letting her scent wash away the smell of burnt flesh that will forever taint my every breath.

Powerless to escape the memories, I relive the moment he begged I end his pain. His insistence it wasn’t my fault, that just in case I needed to hear it, that he forgave me even as there was nothing to forgive. I’ll never forget the sound of his words when once again he begged I end it, that I set him free. Followed by his apology and his regret that he wouldn’t be able to do the same for me. So I did it. As a last mercy to my brother, who was suffering because of me, I did as he asked.

Weak as he was, it took but a minute. With the very same hands I’m touching her with now, I smothered my friend and brought his suffering to an end. Not that she’ll ever know. That’s the one bit of truth I refuse to burden her with.

“How much after that were you rescued?” She asks when she pulls back, taking my hands in hers.

“I don’t know, several days, maybe a week. After Schmidtty passed, I refused to let them near me. I stopped eating and drinking, and at one point they tried force-feeding me water. It was futile on their part. I wanted to die. As I waited for the end to come, that’s when I turned to you. I’d bury myself in the imaginary life I’d created for us. When sleep would come, I’d dream of you and our children. Two little girls and two little boys. My very own version of heaven. I fed on it and drank it in. I used it to medicate my pain and silence the grief.

“As death drew closer, I opened my mind to welcome it in. I was ready… until you fought your way through the darkness and demanded that I fight. You begged and pleaded that I not give up. You swore you would wait for me to make it out of there and made me promise I’d come home to you. So I fought. When they finally rescued me, the first thing I asked for was you. Half starved, dehydrated, and out of my mind with pain and grief, I’d forgotten you weren’t real.”

When again I burst into sobs, she drops her forehead to mine and cups the sides of my face. “I’m real, Lucas. Open your eyes and look at me. I’m right here. Thank you for keeping your promise. Thank you for surviving and coming home to me.”

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note:

In this scene, we learn more about the men Lucas lost on that last mission, as well as what those 28 days in captivity were like for him. Aside from the flashbacks and PTSD, Lucas is still struggling with the guilt of those lives that were lost. That he's sharing this with Emilia is rather telling, for it shows he has complete trust in her.

Are you at all surprised that he was that open with her about what happened to him?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 30

Emilia

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I exhale loudly and continue to take out my frustration on the carrots I’m chopping.

“Relax Em. I’m sure with Lucas by your side, they’ll be on their best behavior.” Nic adds while reaching for one of the carrot pieces before popping it into her mouth. “Jen told me how he handled things the last time. Harold might be an asshole, but he’s not an idiot. Doubt he’d do anything that would trigger Lucas’s wrath.”

When her phone beeps with an incoming text message, she stops to look. The smile that melts over her features catches me by surprise. It’s a look I’ve never seen on her before. It’s so far removed from her sarcastic one, and way different from her mischievous grin. It makes me wonder who it is, and what they could have said to have that effect on her.

“Who is that?” I ask, putting the knife down, when suddenly the only thing that matters is who’s made my normally closed-off friend smile like that.

“Oh, you know,” she brushes me off with her hand, “just the usual lineup of fine cock.”

“Why are you so vulgar?” I shake my head at my friend, picking up the knife while wondering why the heck I asked in the first place.

“Hey, that’s how they like me. Men like a woman with a filthy mouth almost as much as they like one willing to act on their filthy thoughts.” She winks.

Incorrigible as always, I let it go. I’ve got bigger problems tonight than worrying about my friend’s repressed approach to life. Dumping the last of the chopped-up carrots into the salad, I reach for the saran wrap and cover up the bowl. As I walk to put it back in the fridge, I hear Luc’s voice as he joins us in the kitchen. His phone is to his ear, and when our eyes connect, he gives me his signature wink. Just like it did when I was 17, that wink sparks a wave of heat I feel all over my body.

“Thanks for that. Appreciate it. Later.”

“Hey there, hot stuff. Heard your sexy SEAL ass is off the market. I never would have guessed our little Emilia is such a frog hog.”

The look Lucas gives her steals all the warm air from the room. “You better watch your mouth, Nic.” He growls her name with such ferocity that I lay a hand on his arm to calm him.

“Jesus, Luc. Don’t be so damn literal. She knows I’m kidding. She’s one of my best friends and I’d never do or say anything I know would insult her.”

“I don’t care. She’s mine and I won’t have you talking about her that way. Ever. Not even as a joke.”

“Luc it’s okay.” I move around to his front and wrap my arms around him. “While I love you for coming to my defense,” I rise to my toes and close the distance, bringing our lips together in a kiss that sends sparks of electricity shooting down to my lady parts. When I pull back, his anger is long gone, replaced instead by a needy look that matches the way his hands knead against my hips as he pulls us closer together. “She’s harmless,” I whisper.

“God that’s hot! But unless you two are okay with turning this into a threesome, I suggest you cut it out.”

Not used to her sense of humor, Lucas shoots her a glare and says, “God, you’re filthy.”

“Thanks. I get that a lot.” Impervious to his ire, she beams a smile at him.

Reaching for his face, I get his attention. “Was that Ben on the phone?”

His hands reach up, taking hold of my wrists as he nods. “Harold agreed to meet at Offset Tactical Headquarters. Ben will drive them over.”

After our date last week, Lucas suggested it was time I call my mother to fill her in on everything that’s happened. She and I hadn’t spoken since that god-awful dinner where Lucas stepped in to protect me from Harold. That’s also the last time she saw the girls.

Before I made the call, I warned Lucas that he shouldn’t expect much and that chances were, it would only make things worse. And sure enough, the minute I told her what was happening, she demanded I immediately drop the girls off to her. As if she and Harold are better equipped than Lucas, me, and Ben’s team to protect them.

When Lucas saw what the conversation was doing to me, he stepped in, taking the phone and reassuring her that everything was under control. Then, to my surprise, he invited her and Harold over for dinner in our home . That’s how he said it, our home .

I would have been angry that he’d invited them without discussing it with me first, if not for the warm feeling that permeated my body at hearing him call the space I’m falling in love with, our home. While for him this house holds a lot of sad memories, for me it’s a reminder of how our bond developed over the years. Not just him and me, but Jen and our other friends as well. It’s also a reminder of my father and the love he had for us kids.

“How nice of the asshole to agree to such a concession. We should give him a medal.” Nic adds.

“Trust me. It was the only way I’d agree to let them come. Took one phone call to Muriel to get her to understand it’s the only way I’d let her see the girls,” Lucas explains.

“Wait, wait, wait. The only way you’d let her see the girls? So this dad thing, you’re really taking this seriously,” Nic remarks. Her gaze shifts to me as if seeking confirmation. At the same time, Lucas tenses against me. Whether or not she means it, the way she phrased it comes off as insulting.

“Look Nic,” I interject. “Lucas has gone out of his way to protect us and help me out with girls. I trust him completely when it comes to them and, given the circumstances, he has as much say as I do in matters like this.”

I look up at him, hoping my eyes convey how much his presence in our lives means to me. Although our relationship is new, more than anything, I want him to be a part of my life with the girls. However, with everything going on, we have to be cautious. Those two little girls are counting on us to get this right, which I believe he understands. But as I look into his eyes, what I see is disappointment. Something that’s confirmed when he refuses to look at me.

“I’m uh… I’ll be in the control room taking over for Zeb so he can get some rest. Ben and your folks should be here in about two hours.” With a quick kiss on the top of my head, he leaves the room. Unsure of what to do or how to make this right, I follow his retreating form, staring at the space he exited, long after he’s gone.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Why do you go out of your way to humiliate every man you meet? Luc’s a good man. What you just did… he didn’t deserve that.”

“Whoa, wait a minute. I wasn’t trying to—”

“No Nic. Things between him and I are hard enough, without your constant judgment and commentary. I get it. You hate men. You don’t trust them for anything other than the orgasms you steal from them. But Lucas isn’t any man. He’s the love of my life. Jen’s brother and therefore our friend. He’s been through far worse than the abuse you experienced. Trust me. Matter of fact, what you went through growing up is posh, compared to the nightmares he’s faced. So stop treating him like he’s the enemy. Like he’s on the outside of our little group because he’s not. He’s never been. He’s ours and it’s time we re-claim him. We’re his family, Nic. The only one he’s got.”

Hurt, pissed, and suddenly light-headed after my angry tirade, I sway on my feet, needing to lean on the kitchen island to keep from going down. With a hand on my stomach, I swallow down the bile climbing up my throat. Noticing, Nic comes around the table, placing a helpful hand on my back.

“Are you alright?”

I nod… my mouth sealed tight as I fight off the nausea.

“Jesus, Em. Come on, you need to sit.”

With her help, I make it to the living room. The dizziness and nausea have passed, though sweat still beads on my forehead.

“Are you sick?”

“Looks like it. The girls must have given me something,” I confirm, though now that I’m feeling better, I wonder if maybe I just need something to eat.

“Maybe you should cancel dinner tonight. Or at least consider ordering in instead?”

“I can’t. You know how my mother is. And anyway, I’m feeling a lot better. I probably just need a bite to eat.” When she falls quiet and sighs, I turn to look at her.

“Em, about Lucas. I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m taking my shit out on him, which isn’t fair. I promise I’ll do better.”

Reaching for her hand, I tell her, “Thank you. He needs us, Nic. I can’t tell you why, but trust me, what he’s been through you and I would never have survived. Sometimes when I hear him talk about it, it’s almost like he wishes he hadn’t.”

“Jesus…” she gasps. “But he’s okay, right? Is there anything we should be doing to help him?”

This is the side of my friend that people don’t get to see because she hides it. The loving, ever-preset force that shows up to fight for those she loves until the bitter end. Her loyalty and willingness to go to battle for those who need her are what make her an amazing attorney. Most of all, it’s what makes her an amazing friend.

“We love him, that’s how we help him. And I’m sorry, too.”

“For what?”

“Creed. What you did for me three years ago…”

“We already hashed that out,” she interrupts.

“I know. But I still need to say it. Thank you for what you did back then, and for the way you handled things in that cabin with the divorce and the custody of the girls. You’re an amazing friend and I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”

“I feel the same way about you.” She gives me a sad smile. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t.” I pull her in for a hug. “And for the record, it wasn’t you who hurt me. You were the one in my corner fighting to get my life back, and you’ll never know how much that means to me.”

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you F OLLOW ME on REAM !!! (Link in my profile)

Author's Note:

Why does it feel like these two are still not on the same page when it comes to the girls? There is so much residual pain from the past for these two, it almost feels like they're still tip-toeing around their issues.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Do you think their decision to start fresh and move on from the past was the right one, or should they have taken the time to dig into the hurt they're both carrying first?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 31

Lucas

I regretted the idea the minute it came out of my mouth, but the way Embree’s mother insinuated the girls were better off with her had me seeing red. Especially as I watched Embree’s demeanor change back to the sad girl she was the night I was forced to step in between them. It was then I realized a confrontation was inevitable, and likely the only way to get them to see she’s not in the same place she was before. She has support now. She’s not alone. More importantly, she deserves their respect, and I’m here to make damn sure they understand that’s non-negotiable. If they want to be part of the girls’ lives, they need to comply. Otherwise, I have no problem cutting them out, and I’m certain Embree doesn’t either.

And yes, Nic’s right. These decisions aren’t mine to make right now. But while I may not be the girls’ biological father, I have every intention of assuming the role in the near future. Regardless of what it’s going to take, I will prove to Embree that I’m ready to be their dad. I didn’t know it then, but I know it for sure now. I fell in love with those two little girls back in that hole, back when I only imagined their existence. And being here with them and their mother now is everything I’d imagined and more. It’s why I will spend the rest of my life dedicated to loving them.

“Yo, I’m good now.” James plops down in the seat next to me. “It’s been ten minutes since Ben texted to let us know they were on their way, so you better get out there.”

“Copy that. Mind if Nero sticks with you through dinner?”

“Not at all, but why?”

“I gotta have a word with Muriel and Harold. Things might get a little tense, and I wouldn’t want him to misread the situation.”

“It’s about damn time someone put that bully in his place,” he chuckles. “I’ve told Ben a thousand times to step up, but your sisters got him by the balls.” I can’t help but laugh at his comment. James is single and much younger than Ben and me, so he doesn’t yet understand how incredible it is to have a good woman in your life.

“Can’t say I feel bad for him. Serves him right for marrying my sister.” I chuckle.

“By chance, is Annelly coming to this dinner?” The way his eyes never stray from the screens as he asks makes me wonder if something is going on between them.

“She’s not, why? You interested in her?”

“Hell no,” he chuckles a little too hard. “Annelly’s a wine and dine kind of girl. The kind you take home to your ma and marry. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m more of a ‘wham bam, thank you, mam, I’ll see myself out now’ kind of guy. Plus, I don’t have a ma to take anyone home to, so you see, it would never work.”

Clapping him on the back, I chuckle. “Whatever you say, Casanova.”

Leaving the guest room—turned control room—I move to close the door behind me and catch Nero tipping his head from side to side like he’s wondering where I’m going without him. It makes me smile. He’s fallen in perfectly with the guys, and I no longer worry about leaving him with them.

Finding Embree in the dining room, I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Unable to help myself, I kiss the side of her neck and take in her sweet scent. The sound of her soft laughter is like music to my ears. This is how I want my Embree to always feel. Happy, relaxed, and content because she knows she’s loved. Because she knows she has my unconditional support. Noticing the dish in her hand, I loosen my hold. “Need any help?”

“No, I’m good.” She lays down the last dish and steps back to look over the table. Apparently, her mother is big on presentation, and no matter how hard I tried to convince Embree we didn’t need to impress them, she insisted it would make things easier.

When her shoulders slump and her smile falls, I reclaim my hold on her and ask, “What’s going on? You okay?”

With a shy smile, she responds, “I will be.” Only she doesn’t sound convinced.

“You understand why we have to do this, right? We need to take a stand so they understand our boundaries.” When I say this, she smiles wide. “What?” I ask in confusion.

“You said our boundaries.” She turns in my arms and her hands come around my neck. “I like that.”

“Oh, yeah?” I smile back before leaning in to take those luscious lips in a sultry kiss that makes her gasp. She feels like sin but tastes so damn sweet, and the way she opens up and lets me take my fill… fuck! “We have to stop, sweetheart. Your mom. Harold.” I breathe the words between kisses, then drop my forehead to hers. “I love you, Miss Emilia.”

“It’s Miss Barett, now. And I love you too.” Unsure I heard her right, I pull back and stare into those whiskey eyes. “My last name. Nic came by to tell me it’s official. I’m back to using my maiden name.”

The first thought that runs through my mind is that now that she’s free from him, I want to give her my last name and put a ring on her finger. Marriage. The thought should terrify me, but it doesn’t. A life with Embree, with the girls and the babies we’ll make. I’ve never wanted anything more.

“And the girls?” I ask tentatively, both afraid to hope, and terrified of what it will mean.

“It’s done.” She beams at me, her nose scrunching in that adorable way it does when she’s excited and struggling to contain it. “Their last names are officially Holt.” She laughs, bouncing on her toes. “We have the rest of the summer to get them used to it before they return to school. When the time is right and they’re old enough to understand, we’ll find a way to explain it to them.”

They’re mine?

I can’t believe they’re fucking mine!

Lifting her off her feet, I take her in my arms and capture her mouth. What starts slow escalates into full-fledged passion and desperation. Our heartbeats, our souls, and our every breath come together, becoming one. Needy. Demanding. All-consuming. Our lips explore, giving and taking as our tongues dance together in the most erotic dance I’ve ever experienced.

The deep groan that reverberates through my chest must ignite a fire within her, for she wraps her legs around me. I swear to God, I can feel her body vibrating as she grinds her core against my erect cock. Before I can take her upstairs and rip her clothes off, the goddamn doorbell rings.

I’ve never hated Harold and her mother more.

Putting her back on her feet, I give her one last kiss before I look at her beautiful face. Before my eyes, I watch my girl wilt and I fucking hate it.

“Embree, look at me.” When she gives me her eyes, I tell her, “I’m here. You won’t be facing them alone, and I won’t let them disrespect you. Okay?” When she gives me a sad nod, I push for more. “Words Emb.”

“Yes, thank you.” She whispers, then lays her forehead on my chest.

Kissing the top of her head, I then tag her hand and lead her towards the foyer. When I open the door, her hold on my hand grows tighter.

“Muriel, Harold. Welcome to our home.” Now that I know how she feels about that word, I have every intention of using it as often as I can.

Without letting Embree’s hand go, I pull Muriel in for an awkward hug, then reach around her to shake her husband’s hand. When Muriel notices the way our hands are intertwined, her lips curl in what looks to be disgust, and the next thing I know, she’s pulling her daughter into a half-hearted hug that forces our hands apart. The look of disdain she sends Embree’s way when they separate doesn’t escape me. The minute I get the chance, I reach for my girl, pulling her to my side so I can put an arm around her.

“Welcome. Dinner’s already on the table.” I say through gritted teeth, as I paste a nonchalant grin on my face.

As if on cue, Nero’s deep rumbling growl sneaks past the cracks of the guest room door. “Foei,” I command him to stop, before turning my attention back to our nervous guest. “Sorry. He’s protective of Embree and the girls. It’s why he’s in there while you’re here. Can’t be too careful.” As I lead my woman to the dining room, I can’t contain my smirk after seeing the way Harold tenses at the comment.

At the dining room, I take my seat next to Embree, then frown as Harold assumes the seat directly in front of her. It’s the move of a bully. Positioning himself so his mere presence intimidates his victim. Something he’ll come to regret if he even tries to push his power play any further. For the next few minutes, we pass the food around, as Harold takes it upon himself to pour a glass of wine for everyone.

“Hmm, guess this will have to do.” His lips curl as he reads the label on the bottle. As he moves to uncork it, he looks at his wife and says, “Guess it will have to do. Next time, we’ll be in charge of the wine.” When Embree squeezes my hand under the table, I bite my tongue, keeping myself from delivering the insult he deserves.

“Where are the girls?” Muriel asks. “Thought this was supposed to be a family dinner.”

“It is,” I tell her as I slide a piece of steak from the serving plate in front of me over to my dish. “We asked you here to discuss Embree’s situation, as well as to clear the air. The last time we met, things were a bit…” I pause, looking for the right word. When I realize clusterfuck might not cut it, I stick with “difficult.”

“We only agreed to this because we wanted to see the girls. You said they’d be here.” She demands, her eyes laser-focused on her daughter.

“No.” I push my plate away, realizing there’s no way I can stomach a meal with these people. “What we said was we’d like to have you over for dinner so we could talk. That’s it. The girls aren’t here because, after the last time, we have some concerns.”

“What about our concerns?” Harold pipes in. “Our grandchildren are in danger, thanks to their deadbeat father and mother who can’t get her act together.”

“Watch yourself, Harold.” I stand abruptly. My fury is aimed at the asshole, who is two seconds away from eating my fists.

“Lucas, stop this.” Her mother demands. “We’re here because we love those little girls, and if they’re not safe with their mother, then there’s no reason we shouldn’t be allowed to take them with us.”

“The hell you will,” I spit in her direction. “I’m a trained Navy SEAL. Ben and his team are trained specialists in the work they do. There’s no safer place on this earth for those girls than in this house, with their mother and our team.”

“What is it with you, boy?” He chuckles, condescension painted all over his smarmy face. “This is a family, not a damn war zone. Our number one priority is those girls. We’ve been a part of their lives since the day they were born, while you only just got here.” He leans over toward me like he’s some sort of tough guy and says, “As far as I’m concerned, you have no say over what happens in this family.”

“Harold that’s enough!” My brave girl stands at my side, her posture mimicking mine. Her expression is fierce in a way I’ve never seen, but damn, is it sexy as fuck. “Lucas is more my family than you will ever be. He was here before you, and he’ll be here long after. And as far as the girls, he has a legal say over what happens to them, since I had Creed’s paternal rights stripped, so Lucas could adopt them.”

Proud as hell of her, I take her hand, a move I regret when a sly grin falls over the asshole’s face.

“Oh, now I get it. You’re fucking him, aren’t you? You traded those little girls in for what? A dirty fuck with a has-been frog?”

Before it registers, I got the asshole by the throat and I slam his back against the wall. Everything in my periphery fades as I get within inches of his face, making it easier for him to watch me as I rob him of the air he doesn’t deserve to breathe. All I want is to squeeze the life out of the son of a bitch, and the redder his face gets, the more satisfaction I feel.

When muscular arms come around me to pull me away, I fight them off, but it’s no use. Instead, I’m taken to the ground, with my arm twisted awkwardly behind my back.

“Stay down, Luc. It’s for your own good. Asshole’s not worth it,” James growls over me. He’s pissed, whether at me or Harold, I don’t know. Either way, I don’t give two fucks. It’s only because I consider him a friend that I do as he says and don’t fight to get free.

At the sound of Nero losing his shit in the other room, I warn, “You can’t leave Nero when he’s like that. He’ll fuck up the room.”

“Better the room than him killing that bastard. Not that we wouldn’t enjoy the show.” He snickers behind me.

“Get the hell off me!” Harold yells at Zeb.

“Sir, I’m only going to say this once. You got 30 seconds to get in the car that brought you here, or else we’ll pick you up and throw you in it.”

“No. We’re not leaving without our granddaughters. Where the hell are they, Emilia? Where are my girls?”

“They aren’t yours, Mother. They’re mine and Lucas’s.” Finally free from James’s hold, I walk towards Embree and pull her into my arms. “Lucas and I will see to their safety. To their happiness and anything else they might need. If you want to be a part of their lives, things need to change. When you’re ready to listen, give us a call. As for you…” She turns her hard glare towards Harold. “They are not your grandchildren, nor are you a part of their family. I never want you anywhere near me or my girls again.”

Like he’s not bothered at all by her statement, he laughs. “I’m married to your mother, little girl. That makes me the head of this family, and if you think for a second Muriel will let you cut me out of their lives, you’re sadly mistaken.”

With her chin in the air, and shoulders pulled back, my beautiful spitfire moves in for the kill shot. “You might be the head of your family, Harold, but you’re not the head of mine. I am. And until the two of you can respect that, you’re not welcome near my family. Do not mistake my tolerance of your disrespect all these years as a weakness. You have no idea the strength it took to keep my mouth shut and ignore your underhanded jabs because I loved my mother. But it stops now. Especially since you, Mother, have done nothing to protect me from the man you married. Now get the hell out of our house.”

Watching her knock her mother and stepfather down a peg is a thing of beauty. And hearing her kick them out of our house… fuck, that felt good. Our house. It feels so goddamn right, which is surprising, given I never thought I’d be able to step foot, never mind live under its roof again.

“He’s not going to stick around, you stupid girl.” When Muriel comes forward to get closer to Embree, Zeb steps in front of her. “And when he tires of playing house and leaves you again, then where will those poor little girls be?”

“Never going to happen…” I growl, stopping only when Embree’s hand comes to my chest.

“Regardless of what happens, Mother, those girls will be exactly where they belong. With me. Now get the hell out.”

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Author's Note:

There is so much to talk about but biggest of all, did you see our fierce Emilia in action? Watching her stand up to Harold was a thing of beauty! And here Lucas thought he'd have to be the one to put him in his place! 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Were you surprised that Emilia found the strength to stand up to her mother and Harold? 

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 32

Emilia

Her harsh gaze cuts me down with the same hatred and venom I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. I’m not sure when she began looking at me this way. There’s a possibility she may always have, but it was hidden in the shadows behind Daddy’s goodness and light.

I know my conception was a surprise for both of them and after talking to Uncle David, I realize my entry into this world wasn’t just unexpected; it was also a life sentence that forced two people together who weren’t meant to be. It makes me wonder if that’s where her bitterness stems from. My birth not only forced her into a marriage, it also left her stuck in a life she never wanted. Could that be why my mother hates me so much?

“You’re making a terrible mistake. When are you going to realize I’m all you have? Your father is dead, which only leaves me, Emilia. Without me, you’ll have no one left to help clean up your messes. You need me. The girls need me.”

The way she softens her voice at the end brings tears to my eyes. That’s the thing about my mom. She’s a master at injecting genuine love and compassion into her words when the occasion suits her. It’s what’s so confusing about our relationship and why for years, I’ve twisted myself into knots attempting to please her. She knows how to appeal to that side of me who loves her unconditionally and who’d give anything to get her to love me back. It’s outright manipulation, but damn it if it doesn’t work on me each and every time.

Like he can sense my wavering, Lucas takes my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. That simple touch is enough to break me out of the claws of self-doubt my mother instills in me. His love not only soothes my aching heart, it grounds me, tethering me to reality, and saving me from falling for yet another one of her manipulations. With Lucas by my side, the fact my mother doesn’t love me doesn’t break me. Instead, it sets me free.

“I’ll take my chances, Mother. Now get out.”

It’s not long before Lucas and I find ourselves alone. The moment I hear the front door shut behind them, it’s like the ground sways beneath my feet.

“Hey, hey. Sweetheart…” he takes me in his arms, his hands reaching for my waist to steady me. “You alright? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

That would be because I am. Nausea rolls through me as the combination of the stress and smells of the uneaten food makes my stomach revolt.

“Bathroom…” It’s all I get out before my hand goes to my mouth.

He whisks me into the guest bathroom, where he helps me to my knees and opens the toilet seat just as I heave. It happens again and again, my stomach purging itself of the poison inflicted by my mother and Harold as tears roll down my cheeks. When it finally stops and I come back to my senses, I’m horrified to find him squatting down beside me, his hand rubbing gentle circles along my back. To say I’m mortified is an understatement.

“Please leave me. Please,” I beg, praying he does as I ask so I can clean myself up and hold on to what’s left of my dignity.

“Emb, sweetheart, it’s alright. Give me a second. I’ll grab you a washcloth.”

A second later, he’s crouched beside me. Taking my face, he wipes away the tears and remnants of sickness from my skin. Unable to avoid his gaze, I watch as he takes in my ill appearance. The way his brows draw together in genuine concern goes a long way to easing the ache left behind by my mother.

As emotion pools in my throat, I stammer, “I-I’m sorry.” As much as I appreciate what he’s doing for me, part of me wishes he wasn’t here to see me like this.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Here. Let’s get you up so we can settle you upstairs.”

Reaching down, he loops his arms around my legs, lifting me into his arms. With ease, he takes me up the stairs, and then through our room to the bathroom that adjoins with the girls’ bedroom. There he sets me down on my feet, and like a sentry, he stands at my side as I wash my face and brush my teeth. When I’m done, he escorts me to the bed, helping me to lie down.

Exhausted from the day’s events, I turn on my side and watch as he grabs several blankets from the closet and then comes back to spread them out over me. As crappy as I feel, I’ve never loved this man more than I do now. The sense of security and safety he invokes in me is like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my adult life. Even while embarrassingly sick, I can’t help but lean deeper into his love.

“There,” he says, as he sits on the edge of the bed, his eyes scanning over me in that meticulous way that tells me he’s worried. “What’s going on Emb?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been a little off the past few days. Might be something I caught from the girls.”

“Hmm,” is all he says while caressing the side of my face. “Will you be alright for a few minutes while I put away the food?”

The old me would have said yes, not wanting to burden him with my emotional baggage. But the new me, the one he’s helped me rediscover, speaks out and tells him what I need.

“Stay with me.” I reach for his hand and intertwine our fingers. “Text the guys. Tell them to eat. We’ll go down to clean up later.”

At my request, the look of concern softens. After sending a quick text to the guys, he goes to his side of the bed and scoots in behind me. Lifting my head, I let his arm slide in under me while he wraps his other hand around my waist. The warmth of his body against my back is soothing and helps dispel the remnants of stress that still linger after that awful confrontation.

“Who took them home?”

“Zeb, I think… you feeling any better?” He kisses the back of my head, and I swear I can feel it when he breathes me in.

“Yeah. It might be the stress. There’s just so much going on right now.”

“Should we make you another doctor’s appointment?”

When his hand slides up my arm and down again, it sends a wave of goosebumps breaking out over my skin. As if he’s noticed, I feel it when his breath hitches in his chest. The sound sparks tingles deep inside my core, and suddenly I’m desperate to see if he’s just as affected as I am by the way my body responds to him. Rolling to my other side, I face him. The desire in my eyes must trigger something, for in the next breath, his hand is on my hip, pulling my pelvis right against the hard-growing bulge in his pants.

“I have an appointment with Hannah next week. If I’m not better before then, I’ll make one with my primary care doctor.”

Entranced by those sea-green eyes, I just stare. It’s so easy to get lost in the depths of love that engulfs me when he looks at me. This connection we share is surreal and so addictive.

“I’m proud of you. What you did today, how you handled them, it was so fucking sexy watching you put them in their place.” He grins while his hold on my hip goes tighter as he grinds his erection against me. The sensation only adds to the tendrils of heat swirling in my lower belly.

Rolling me to my back, he leans up over me and asks, “Did you mean it? When you said the girls are ours?” The hope that sparkles in his eyes as he waits with bated breath for my answer brings tears to my eyes.

“Yes. They’re yours and mine. Forever.”

When his forehead drops to mine, his eyes close. It’s in that same position, he asks, “And the house? When you asked them to leave, you called it our house. Did you mean that?”

“Lucas?” I cup the sides of his face, pulling him back far enough so he can see the truth in what I have to say. “I meant every word. I’m yours. The girls are yours. And if you’ll let us, we’d love for you to be ours too. As far as the house, what better place to start our lives together than in the home where we both learned how to love? The only place left from our childhood that to this day still feels like home.”

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted,” his voice breaks, as a stray tear falls from his eyes. “A life and a home with you and our children. I was yours the day I left this town, Embree, and I’ve been yours every day since.”

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Author's Note:

Lucas is incredibly proud of Emilia and how she handled Harold and her mother. He especially adores how she referred to the girls as belonging to both of them. He's so smitten with those two little girls that he can no longer picture a life without them.

What are your thoughts on this chapter? Can you believe Lucas is the same man who came into town swearing he wanted nothing to do with the family he left back in Ruby Creek?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 33

Emilia

Meeting him halfway, our lips come together in a soft yet spine-tingling kiss that sets my insides ablaze. The need to be closer to him, to let him take me, own me, and sink himself deep inside of me spurs me to lick at the entrance of his mouth. The deep groan that resonates from his chest as he moves over me and takes over the kiss confirms my boldness had the desired effect.

Forcing me to submit, his hands position my head where he wants it, allowing him to deepen the kiss until I’m breathless and soaked with desire. Desperate to feel him, my hands move to unbutton his jeans, and within moments I’ve got his cock in my hands. With my thumb, I rub the pre-cum over the tip of the bulbous head, making him moan as he licks into my mouth with renewed urgency.

His desire is palpable and with every stroke of my hand, his breath catches in his chest. When he reaches under my shirt and palms my breast, I arch my back, needing more. Like he can read my mind, he sits up on his knees. Reaching up behind his neck, he pulls his shirt over his head in one swift pull. Needing to touch him I too sit up, getting up on my knees in front of him I boldly trace the firm line between the muscles of his chest, down the line between those washboard abs that call to be licked.

The way his hooded eyes follow my hands as they explore fuels my need to taste him. Leaning in, I take his mouth, nipping at his lower lip, before opening and allowing him to taste me. Breaking the kiss, I trail my lips down the side of his face, then his neck, tangling my fingers in the back of his hair as I go back to stroking his hardness.

“Fuuuck,” he hisses and his head falls back, like he’s overcome by the overwhelming sensation.

Continuing the trail, my mouth travels down to the plane of his chest. Sucking, nibbling, then licking along the way until I reach his nipple. Sensually, I lick at the mound of tender flesh, before wrapping my lips around it and sucking until he groans. It’s a deep vibration I feel all over my skin and I want so badly to hear it again.

Before I can do the same to the other side, he grabs my attention, pulling me away so he can help me take my blouse off. When he goes to help with my bra, I stop him. Shaking my head, I give him a teasing smile. I want him to watch me. No, I need to watch him, as he struggles to contain the urges that are made obvious by the way he struggles to hold still. Though he drops his hands to his sides, I don’t miss the way they shake or the clenching of his fists, like he’s struggling to maintain control.

Reaching behind me, I undo my bra, then slowly, in the sexiest way possible, I remove the lace fabric, allowing my heavy breasts to fall free. Like he’s enthralled, his eyes move to my chest, taking in my body with lust and desire written all over his face. When he doesn’t move, I reach for his hands, laying them upon my hard sensitive buds that tingle with the need to be touched. When he groans and squeezes in response, it’s my turn to close my eyes as a whimper escapes my lips.

“God, you’re beautiful.” He kneads at my breasts, hissing when again, I reach for his hard cock and stroke him.

“Take off your pants, Lucas.” I stop and pull back.

He takes a second to process what I’ve asked. By the time he moves to undress, I’ve already removed the rest of my clothes. Leaning back against the headboard, I allow my legs to fall open, exposing my center. His eyes immediately fall to the apex of my thighs, and the minute his gaze reaches my folds, I hiss when my insides contract in anticipation.

The pleasure he lavishes upon me with a mere look is extraordinary and shoots sparks of heat throughout my body. I want him to touch me. More than anything, I want him to take my body and use me for his pleasure until we’re both left wanting yet longing for it to never end.

“Jesus,” he hisses as he climbs back on the bed and prowls towards me on hands and knees.

When his tongue darts out to swipe at my seam, I nearly convulse at the overwhelming sensation. Already on the edge, tremors rock through my limbs as I fight to breathe through the ache that’s got me desperate for release. Like he’s pleased to see me writhing with need, a proud smile breaks over his face.

“You’re fucking soaked, sweetheart. Fuck. You’re close, aren’t you?” Like he’s testing to see how far he can push to get me just to the edge, he slowly glides a finger into my wet slit. When my muscles contract around his finger, his brows draw up with amusement.

Desperate for the friction, I chase his touch. When he inserts a second finger, he leans in, closing his mouth around my clit he sucks and my entire world explodes. A multitude of colors burst behind my eyelids, as pleasure sears through me in earth-shattering ecstasy that steals my breath and leaves me quaking with relief. When I can finally breathe again, I hear my cries of pleasure, and the look in his eyes is that of wonderment and elation. He’s rather pleased with himself, but the awed expression at watching me come apart is a look I wish I could bottle up and hold on to forever.

“So damn beautiful.” He rises on his knees in front of me, and with firm hands, he pulls and spreads my legs apart until I’m bared open and displayed like an offering.

Reaching for the condom he must have tossed onto the bed at some point, he says, “If it weren’t for the fact we have to go pick up the girls, I’d take my time with you.” Mesmerized, I follow his hands as he rips the condom open with his teeth, and then begins the breathtaking process of sliding over his long, thick shaft. When he notices the way I lick my lips in anticipation, he smiles. “Next time, sweetheart. This time though, this time I’m going to show you what it means to be yours.”

When I feel the head of his cock lining up at my entrance, I moan. When he begins his slide in, I angle my hips, pulling him deeper into the space where I most need to feel him.

“That’s it. Oh, fuck… sweetheart.” He’s breathless, his face contorted in agony as he watches himself enter me.

When his control finally slips, he slams into me. Deep and hard, he thrusts in and out, his eyes zeroed in on the place where our bodies are adjoined. Once again, pleasure ricochets inside of me. Goosebumps break out over my skin as I watch him lose himself in the pleasure of my body. When he notices the way I’m watching, he drops on top of me, his mouth plundering mine in a kiss that steals my breath, my heart, and the very essence of who I am.

His love wraps around me as he pours his own heart and soul into the rhythm that builds us up into a frenzy, pushing us further and further to the edge of oblivion, where his body promises to not let me fall alone. Feeling like I’m floating away, I cling to him, my fingers digging into his back as the pressure inside me builds. The constant pulsing of my muscles, as he expertly glides through my folds while his shaft rubs against my clit, turns my breathy pants into mewls and whines of desperation.

“Let go… fuck, Emb. Let go.”

And my god, do I let go. Falling headfirst into my orgasm, I’m catapulted out of my body and into the depths of the sweetest oblivion. As my muscles contract around him I hear, as much as I feel, his loud groan as his body responds with his own pulsating release. Together we fall, our bodies intertwined as our heartbeats sync as one, forever bound to one another, beating only for each other.

Sated and spent, it’s not until I wake up in his arms an hour later that I remember what Mother said. “When he tires of playing house and leaves you again, then where will those poor little girls be?”

It’s a terrifying thought. One I know I must not give any credence to, but I can’t help it. She’s planted the seed and now, try as I might, I can’t help but be worried for the girls. Telling them their real father isn’t coming back is hard enough. Bringing another man into their lives to replace him may heal some parts, but that first wound will always be raw for them. So what will happen if Lucas does as Mom says, and leaves them?

“What is it?” His voice is thick with sleep, which makes me wonder how he knows where my thoughts are.

“Nothing you need to worry about. I’m just thinking.”

“Emb,” he rolls to his side. After dropping a quick kiss on my lips, he says, “You went stiff as a board, sweetheart. Stop hiding from me. Tell me what’s got you so worried.”

“My mom.” I sigh, feeling embarrassed that once again I’ve let her get to me. “Lucas, I’m worried about the girls. This situation with their dad is hard enough to explain. I just…” I don’t even know how to say it. After the beautiful afternoon we spent together, I don’t want to ruin it by sharing my concerns. Doubts that were planted by my mother, which means they aren’t mine at all. But if I voice them, there’s a good chance he’ll think I’m doubting him.

“Those girls were meant to be mine, Embree. Even before I saw their faces and learned of their existence, I dreamed about them. Back in that hole, it wasn’t only you, they were there too. They and the two little boys we’ll someday have. Of that I am certain, which is why I’m telling you, no, I’m promising you I won’t ever walk away from them. Not while my heart still beats, and even then, I don’t plan to ever leave them. They’re mine, just like I am theirs, and even in the event of my death, nothing is ever going to change that.”

With tears in my eyes, the pressure in my chest eases. “I believe you. I’m sorry.”

He kisses the tip of my nose, then says, “I get it. You’re an excellent mother, Embree, which is why you’re worried about them. You have every right to advocate for them and with our history, you also have every right to question me and hold my feet to the fire. I get they will always come first, and I will love you to the ends of the earth for loving and protecting those girls the same way I vow to protect the three of you.”

When we fall back into silence, he lays his head back on his pillow and pulls me in close. Breathing in his fresh, woodsy scent, I let my doubts go.

“I know this is all new and things are moving fast. Plus, with the threat that hangs over us, I’m okay with waiting to tell the girls, if that’s what you wish. Nothing has changed for me, Embree. Like I told you in that cabin, all choices going forward are yours to make. Whatever you want, however you want to handle things, I’ll follow your lead.”

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Author's Note:

I fell even more in love with Lucas after writing this scene. That line where he talks about how certain he is that those girls were meant to be his, along with the two little boys they'll some day have together, melted my heart.

What are your thoughts on this chapter? Should they tell the girls, or do you think they should wait and tell them after the danger has passed?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 34

Lucas

“Lucas,” Ben’s steel-toed boot slams into my shin, sending searing pain shooting through my leg.

“Christ! What the fuck?”

“Dude, what’s up with you?” Owen pipes in through the speaker that sits at the center of the table.

“My sentiments exactly, you need to pull your shit together and stop being so damned distracted,” Ben adds with a piercing glare that would normally piss me off.

“Fuck off,” I attempt to bark back, but it comes off as a half-hearted retort. The hits just keep on coming, and the thought of disappointing her with yet more bad news is daunting.

“So? What do you want us to do?” Owen repeats, unaware of my embittered mood.

Dropping my head, I do my best to breathe through the anger as I remember Kessler’s words when he threatened Embree and the girls. It’s been a little over a month since the FBI dropped their investigation into Emilia and with the evidence we turned over, Agent Robert Kessler was fired, two federal judges are facing impeachment proceedings, and several others at the FBI, CIA, and DOJ are under investigation.

Given how deep the rot seems to go, I have little faith that those who are pulling the strings behind the scenes will be identified, let alone be held responsible. Kessler was but a small fish in a sea of corruption, and with the amount of noise this investigation has kicked up, it’s a certainty that whoever sits at the head of this mess has gone to ground, leaving us in limbo. We’re exactly nowhere with no way of knowing if Embree’s still in danger.

“We stay the course,” I respond, certain it’s our only choice.

Even so, I know what these men have sacrificed to protect Embree, the girls, and her ex-husband over the past seven weeks. Looking over at my friend, it’s not hard to miss the worry lines on his face. This case has amounted to an all-hands-on-deck situation, which has meant the reallocation of resources from Offset Tactical’s paying clients. More importantly, it has made it impossible for the company to take on new jobs, so Ben’s concerns aren’t just about Emilia’s situation, but about keeping his men employed and his business afloat.

“Listen, Ben. We’ve shored up security to the point we don’t need three of us to be here 24/7. The girls are out of school for the rest of the summer and Embree’s doing a great job of keeping them busy so they don’t notice they’re essentially prisoners here.” Those words churn like acid in my gut, especially as it was Embree who said them last night in a moment of frustration. It hurts to know that’s how she feels, even as I know that keeping them locked away behind the walls of the property is what’s safest for them.

“With Pastor David retiring, and coming to stay with us, we got things pretty well covered. It will free up James and Zeb, so they can be redeployed to other assignments.”

“Pastor David was Navy, right?” Ben asks, his eyes focused on the screen of his phone.

“Yep.”

“Can he still hold his own?”

“Damn straight. You know I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t think he could.”

“Okay. Until we see how things go, I’ll leave James and pull Zeb. Now Owen,” he shifts his focus to the speaker at the center of the table. “What do we know about Kessler? He hasn’t been seen since he got fired and Hunt hasn’t had any luck getting eyes on him. He hasn’t been to his home or visited his dad’s nursing home nor any of the other places he frequents. It’s like he’s vanished.” Ben adds.

“I’m aware and already working to locate him. For now I’m not too worried about it. Even if he has Emilia in his sights, there’s no way he’ll get remotely close without us seeing him coming.” Owen notes. “If he’s stupid enough to try, we can easily take him out of play then.”

“You good with that?” Ben directs his question to me.

“I’m comfortable with that, but only as long as we do our due diligence to still try to find him.”

I only agree because having been through every inch of this house and the surrounding property, the chances of someone getting in unnoticed are slim to zero. Plus, thanks to the panic room Owen had installed on the 2nd floor, Emilia and the girls can quickly be whisked to safety while Nero and I go on the hunt. Shy of a militia storming through our front gate, anything else we have an answer for.

“How’s it going with Mason?” I ask, purposely not mentioning her ex by name. The less I know about the asshole, the lesser the chance I’ll end up in prison convicted of murder.

“He’s still on mission. They’re working together but apart. Mason’s orders are to keep his distance, so we stay off the radar of whoever’s after Creed. The last thing we need is one of our own getting caught between the crosshairs of whoever’s trying to take him out, or god forbid getting picked up by whichever of the federal alphabet soup agencies gets to Creed first.”

“If you guys are good, any objections to me dropping off? I have a shit ton of stuff to work through this morning,” Owen proposes.

After looking at me for confirmation, Ben affirms. “Yeah, you’re good. Thanks, Owen.”

When he hangs up, Ben makes no move to get up. Instead, he sits back in his seat, looking over me like he’s assessing. By now I know the drill, and though I’m not in the mood for a heart-to-heart, I know staying and confronting his concerns head-on is the only way he’ll back off.

“Look, I know I was a little out of it today, but it doesn’t mean my head isn’t in this. I know what’s at stake and I’m more committed than ever to keeping them safe. There’s just a lot going on right now.”

“Like what? Whatever’s getting in the way of you doing your job, it behooves you to tell me what that is right now.”

“Let me clarify something for you, Ben. What we’re protecting her from, that’s the fucking job and the only thing I’m responsible for sharing with you. Anything outside of that, including what goes on between us, is none of your business. So fuck off. I already told you all you need to know.”

“Lucas….” He leans forward, his hands clasped together on the table. “I’m talking to you as your boss, not your friend. If something is going on between the two of you that affects the decisions she makes or the advice that she follows, you need to tell me now. You’re not the only one who cares about her. If there’s even a tiny chink in her trust for you or anyone on this team, it could mean the difference between life and death.”

He’s right. Her trust in me and the team is paramount. It’s why I tell her every move we make, why I share any little bit of intel we get. So she feels informed and trusts I’ll always tell her the truth. That way, when I say it’s time to move, she’ll do it quickly and without question.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. But I assure you it’s nothing that could impede my job or her safety.”

“Stop hedging Lucas. I need to know where your head’s at. Tell me the truth, or I’ll bring Dominick in to take over as lead.”

“It’s nothing like that.” I defend, my mind spinning as I debate how much I’m willing to share. It’s not that I don’t want Ben to know what’s going on, but that putting a voice to what my gut is telling me, gives it a semblance of truth I’m not yet ready to face. “Things are just a little off. It started right after that horrible dinner with her mother and Harold five days ago. Since then she’s been more anxious and stressed than usual, and because of it, she hasn’t been feeling well.”

“Wait, so she’s sick?”

“No, I mean,” I shake my head, not entirely sure how to explain it. “She hasn’t been feeling well. She thinks it’s from stress, which given the circumstances, makes perfect sense. But there’s also this sadness about her. And when I ask her how she’s feeling, or what’s making her so upset…” I breathe out a frustrated sigh, running a hand over my face as I struggle to keep my emotions in check.

“My gut is telling me something is wrong, but when I bring it up she tells me she’s okay. She’s lying to me, and you know what a shit liar she is.” Shaking my head, I attempt to swallow around the lump in my throat. “Whatever it is, she’s determined to keep it from me. We even had our first fight last night. It was over something stupid, just her venting her frustration because she can’t leave the house, but I could tell it was about so much more than that. There is something major bothering her, but how am I supposed to help if I can’t get her to tell me what’s going on inside her head?”

“The number one thing I’ve learned from your sister is that women are complicated. Often, they don’t tell us what’s wrong because they themselves haven’t a clue. They’re much more complex, intelligent, and intellectual than we are. Add that to their capacity to understand, interpret, and experience deep emotion, and it’s no wonder they sometimes can’t tell why they feel out of sorts.

“My advice, be her sounding board. Keep asking, keep showing up, keep reminding her how much you love her. Encourage her to talk it out, or just sit quietly and hold her when talking is the last thing she wants. Women can be difficult, and exhaustingly complicated. But when they finally come apart in your arms and give you that final glimpse of what’s in their heart, I’m telling you, there is no better feeling,” he smiles. “Keep at her, but be patient. Love her, but be firm. Most of all, make it clear you’ll never give up wanting to be there for her because there is nothing in this world more important to you than her.”

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Author's Note:

More trouble is brewing for our fearless group, and I only hope cutting back on the amount of bodies they have to protect Embree and the girls doesn't come back to bite them. 

What do you think of this chapter and what you learned? Do you think Lucas and the team are making the right choice?

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Chapter 35

Lucas

After walking Ben out, Nero and I stop in the control room to check in with the guys. James, Zeb, and I have gotten quite close over the past several weeks, and it will be weird not having both of them around when Pastor David comes to stay with us. While I know freeing them up to get back to work is the right decision, I can’t ignore the small flicker of apprehension at the base of my gut.

I meant what I said to Ben. I’m confident in our security as well as the skills Pastor David, Nero and I bring to the table. I know with absolute certainty we can protect them, but as usual, I can’t shake the fear and self-doubt that took root after my last mission in Afghanistan. Just the fact that it exists within me ups our risk of failure because, as Keegs used to say, emotions like fear and doubt make you second guess. They make you hesitate. They make you dead.

“Where’s James?” I ask Zeb, as I take the empty chair next to him. Staring up at the screens, I get my answer before he has a chance to respond.

“He’s in the yard with Annelly and the girls,” he points to the screen with footage from the backyard cameras. “Look at that smitten fool,” Zeb laughs. “He watches her like she’s the most amazing creature he’s ever seen.”

I chuckle and lean forward to get a closer look. Sure enough, while Annelly is laughing and smiling as she talks to the girls, James looks on with awe, like he can’t take his eyes off of her.

“Look at the expression on his face?” Zeb continues cackling as we both watch our unsuspecting friend.

“It explains a lot. The night Embree’s parents came for dinner, he asked if Annelly would be here.”

“He’s obsessed with her, though he’ll never admit it. You should see him when she’s out there with Emilia, helping with the girls. The idiot follows her from screen to screen like a stalker. I’d be concerned if not for the fact he’d never let himself go there.”

“What is there to be concerned about? So what if he likes her?”

“Uh… you have met James before, right? He’s a man whore. The only guy I know who can leave a woman both satisfied and grateful to have been used and then discarded by Adonis himself. Annelly is barely 21 years old. James would destroy that poor girl and he’s smart enough to not let himself go there.”

“Take it from me.” I rise to a stand. “Women like Annelly are the cure for men like James. If I were a betting man, my money would be on her being the one who destroys him.” Pushing my chair back in, I ask, “Mind if I leave Nero here? I need to talk to Embree.”

“No problem. Hey,” he turns to look at me just as I reach the door. “I’ve been meaning to ask. Is she okay? She’s seemed a little down the past few days.”

At his question, the fear that’s been slowly constricting my chest coils a little tighter. That Zeb has noticed is confirmation I have every reason to be concerned.

“Yeah. With the stress of the past few weeks, she’s been a bit under the weather,” I reply, careful to mask how unsettled I am.

Leaving the control room, I search for her. After my conversation with Ben and Zeb, I need to see her, to touch her, and feel her warm skin under my fingers. I’m desperate to put my arms around her and hold her tight against my body so she never slips away from me. Because if I’m honest with myself, this fear in my gut isn’t about her illness; it’s about the feeling she’s pulling away. Erecting walls and boundaries around herself to keep me away from the noise inside her head. Whatever is wrong, she doesn’t trust me enough to let me in, which leaves me wondering if she’s having doubts about us.

When I find her in the girls’ room, I lean on the doorframe, watching as she smooths out the duvet over Alyssa’s bed. It’s impossible to miss how tired she looks. Since the night of the confrontation with her mother and Harold, she’s hardly slept. If I’d known this was the effect their presence would have on her, I never would have invited them to clear the air.

When she sees me, she rewards me with the smile I’ve seen too many times in the past few days. It’s the very same smile that graced her face when I first returned to town, and she didn’t yet trust me with her burdens. It’s the smile she uses to hide her truths from the rest of the world, and seeing her using it on me now is gutting.

As if she can sense my distress, she comes to me. Wrapping her arms around me, she lays her head against my chest. Leaning in, I bury my face in her hair, taking in her fresh, summery scent. With the feel of her warm body in my arms, and her scent permeating my senses, some of the tension in my body eases.

“Ben’s gone?”

I hesitate for a moment, considering how much of what was discussed should be shared with her. She’s already under so much stress.

“Yeah, about ten minutes ago.”

“Anything I should know?” She pulls back. The look of apprehension in her eyes gives me pause, but in the end, I choose to tell her the truth.

“Kessler’s been fired, and those involved are under investigation. Ben’s working with Agent Hunt to assess what that means in terms of your safety. For now, we’ve decided to stay the course, at least until we’re sure the threat has passed.”

“Okay.” She resumes her position, resting her head against my chest, but not before I catch the subtle look of sadness that washes over her. “I’m sorry for everything I said last night. I was just tired and frustrated. It wasn’t about you or us,” she looks up at me, her eyes imploring as they drown in a pool of sorrow. “I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

“Lose me?” I reach up to cup her face, my voice gentle. “Embree, why would you think… have I done or said something to make you think I’m not in this 100%? Because I am, sweetheart. I have no intention of ever leaving you.”

“Promise me.” The desperation in that plea cuts deep and confirms my suspicion. Something is wrong.

“I promise. You are never. Ever. Going to lose me,” I tell her firmly, trying to keep my expression steady despite the frustration bubbling inside me.

Seemingly satisfied, she nods a few times before rising on her toes and pressing her lips to mine in a quick, fleeting kiss. As she pulls back, unable to meet my gaze, my stomach sinks.

“I’m sorry,” she says, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “For being so darn clingy and needy. I just…”

“Embree, I hope you know everything your mother said that night was wrong. I understand my track record does me no favors, but you know I’m a man of my word. When I was 17, I left to save my sister and because without my parents it felt like I no longer had a family, but now, thanks to you, it’s no longer just Jenny and me. Now I have you and our girls. They’re my daughters…” My voice breaks under the weight of the words that until now, I’ve never said out loud. “Everything I’ve ever wanted is right here, in this town, with them and with you.”

Dropping her head, her shoulders slump. Unable to understand what is happening, the sinking feeling in my gut flares in that familiar way it does when the other shoe is about to drop.

“What’s going on, Embree? Things haven’t been the same since that night with Harold and your mom. Did I say or do something to make it so you no longer trust me?”

“No,” she launches herself into my arms. “I do trust you. Please, believe me, I do.”

Except I don’t believe her; she’s not telling me the entire truth. Reaching up, I remove the hands that are wrapped around my neck, and without letting her go, I step back away from her. Ben’s advice from this morning reverberates in my thoughts, reminding me to be both patient and firm.

“Then what is this about? Because right now, the only thing I know for sure is that you’re hiding something from me.”

“No, I’m…”

“Please don’t lie to me,” I implore. “If you’re not ready to talk about it, then tell me that. If you’re not sure because you’re trying to work out what’s inside your head, then fine, say that, because when you lie or try to hide the truth from me, it feels like you’re trying to push me out. I don’t want to be pushed out, Emb. It took 15 years for us to get to this point, and I’m sorry, I refuse to let us go backward. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready to talk about what’s bothering you; all I ask is that you at least admit it, and in the meantime, trust me enough to let me be there for you.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Her chin quivers like she’s fighting to keep herself from crying.

Pulling on my hands, she leads us out of the girls’ room, straight across the hall into our bedroom. Shutting the door behind us, she then directs me to take a seat at the edge of our bed. With both of my hands in hers, she kneels on the floor between my legs. Whiskey eyes shimmer with unshed emotion, and I can tell by the way she’s breathing she’s doing everything in her power to not give in to the anguish that permeates the air around her.

Though I hate seeing her this way, it’s Ben’s words that keep me from taking her in my arms. My job is to listen, not to fix. To be her sounding board, her partner, the one who she can lean on when she’s overwhelmed. It’s why I intertwine our fingers, channeling all of my love into that simple touch, while I steel myself the best way I know how. Whatever she says, I can’t let it break me. Whatever she reveals or doesn’t reveal, I need to be okay with it so I can do as I promised and love her through it.

“I’m sorry if it feels like I’m pushing you away. I don’t mean to. It’s not what I want,” she says, squeezing my hands in reassurance. “The truth is, I’m scared. Going to see Hannah tomorrow for this follow-up appointment is bringing everything back. What I did…” She shakes her head, her face contorting with fear and shame as she fights back her tears. “I’m ashamed of what I did, and I hate that I betrayed you so horribly.”

“Sweetheart,” I attempt to give her a reassuring smile, while my insides boil with fury at the reminder of what happened the day Creed stole her right from under my watch. “You didn’t betray me.”

“I did,” losing the battle she sobs. “I loved you, not him. I wish I could go back. I never should have gone with him that day, and I wish to God I’d never let him touch me.”

Seeing her this anguished breaks my heart, so I pull her onto my lap and put my arms around her. Though I hate that she’s in pain because of what that bastard did, I can’t deny I’m relieved. This is something we can work through. Something that after her appointment tomorrow, she’ll never have to think about again.

“Listen to me. You didn’t betray me. Like I told you that first night we made love, you’re mine, and you will be so until the end of time. Nothing that happened before I made that vow to you matters. The only thing that does is how we love each other going forward.” Pulling back, I look deep into her eyes. “You are the love of my life, Embree, my soul mate in this and all my future lives. There is nothing in this world that could ever come between us.”

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Author's Note:

I feel like they're both approaching their relationship from a place of fear, which in turn is holding them back from finally being happy. Part of me wished they would tune out all the noise, and focus instead on the miracle that they finally found their way back to each other.

What do you think of this chapter and the struggle Emilia and Lucas are going through? Do you think Lucas has a reason to be concerned?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

Chapter 36

Emilia

When I was seven years old, Daddy surprised Mom and me with a visit to the King of Prussia Mall—at the time the second largest mall in the country. It marked my first visit to such a vast place, and coming from a small town, it was unlike anything I had ever experienced. The mannequins that lined the large window displays of the stores were mesmerizing, as were the glamorous outfits they wore. The sights, the smells, the bustling crowds all thrilled me to the point I couldn’t resist bounding from one store to the next in excitement.

When we stumbled upon the Build-A-Bear store–with its selection of adorable bears you could dress up and accessorize until your heart’s content–I was enthralled. Like I couldn’t help it, I found myself walking inside what could only be described as the most wonderful place on earth. The brightness that hung in the air like a beautiful rainbow of happiness was like magic, and I remember thinking how I couldn’t believe such an amazing place existed. I turned around, looking to share my utter joy with my father, but to my horror, he was gone.

In that instant, the wonderment that consumed me moments before disintegrated, leaving behind nothing but terror. I was lost, alone, and consumed with the overwhelming fear that I’d never see my father, my home, or my friends again. Weeping and screaming for Dad, I spun in circles, shying away from the touches of strangers who made me more scared, even though I knew they were only trying to help.

Then, just as suddenly, I was lifted into the air and into the embrace that was as familiar to me as the rays of the sun on a summer morning. Wrapped in the safety of Daddy’s arms, I remember the overwhelming sense of relief that washed over me. He found me. I was safe. Nothing else mattered. Not the interesting people, not the cute bears, or the mannequins with fancy clothes. At that moment, the only thing that mattered was my dad. He was my safe place. My safety net.

That this is the memory that’s coming to me now only intensifies the restlessness coursing through me. That memory is a reminder that even when surrounded by happy and beautiful things, all it takes is one mistake, one bad choice made in a moment of distraction, for all that happiness to disappear. The thick haze of depression that’s descended upon me like a toxic plume of devastation reaffirms the dreaded misstep has already taken place. Just like when I was a little girl, I got so caught up in the thrill of what could be that I forgot to pay attention to what mattered.

And now, unlike 7-year-old me, there is no one left to save me. I already know how this is going to end. Like a slow-speed slide on an icy road, the inevitable crash that’s coming is laid out before me. There’s nothing I can do to stop it and all that’s left to do is pray the fallout doesn’t destroy everyone I love.

Setting the urine sample on the counter, I follow Tammy, Hannah’s receptionist, to the chair where she takes my blood pressure before drawing a few vials of my blood.

A full STI panel.

My second since my time at the cabin with Creed. All to ensure I didn’t contract a disease after having unprotected sexual intercourse with a man I hadn’t seen in over three years—a man who spent all of that time surviving in the underbelly of the sex trafficking trade.

“The only way to beat them was to become them.” His words to me that day choose this moment to run through my mind.

It’s a terrifying thought that only compounds the dread swirling amidst the constant waves of nausea that roll in my belly. The first set of tests came back clean, but since taken just hours after our encounter, this is the set that’s of most concern. And as if that wasn’t enough, there’s that little detail of two missed periods that adds more grey to the terrifying picture that is my life.

“You’re all set. Follow me.”

Walking behind her into the exam room, I feel numb. When Tammy exits, quietly shutting the door behind her, the gravity of my situation slams into me, knocking the air from my lungs. Thick and unrelenting, it expands through the room, strangling me and twisting my insides until I’m about to be sick. Swallowing down the bile, I fight to keep it together, imploring my body to wait until we’re alone and out of this place.

“It’s going to be okay.” With a hand on my belly, I will myself to absorb the words. Though I don’t believe them now, maybe they’ll become true if I say them often enough. But then, I lose the battle when I think of Lucas and the girls. This will destroy him. It will destroy us, and worst of all, it will upend the safety and security I’m fighting to hold on to for my girls.

“Are you okay?” Hannah’s voice comes from where she stands at the door.

It’s not until I see the concern etched on her face that I realize tears are running down my face. Of all my friends, she is the most compassionate and understanding, which I hope will make what I’m about to say all the easier.

“No, I’m not.” Choked up with emotion and overwhelmed by guilt and shame, I hang my head. My chest hitches painfully as I try to hold back my sobs. I need to say it, but saying it will also cement it as truth.

I don’t want it to be true.

Please god, don’t let it be true.

Stepping in front of me, she lays the tablet with my medical records down beside me. When her arms come around me, the walls holding back the torrent of emotions shatter in an instant.

I’m about to lose the only life I’ve ever wanted.

The only man I’ve ever truly loved.

It’s heart-wrenchingly devastating and hopelessly unavoidable. And after 6 days of denying to myself what my body tells me is true, I can’t hold it in anymore.

“I-I think… I’m pregnant.”

THIS IS WHERE BOOK #2 ENDS, but don’t worry because BROKEN COURAGE (Broken Redemption Book 3) is out now and can be found under my profile.  

Author's Note: 

Now, I can't wait to hear your thoughts on what happened in this chapter. How do you feel about Emilia's revelation? What do you think will happen next?

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!

For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

What’s Next…

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

• John Lennon

Writing Broken Hope has been both the hardest and most healing part of Lucas and Emilia’s journey. Their story taught me that even in the darkest moments, love still finds a way to reach us.

Thank you for holding on through every heartbreak and every fragile flicker of hope. Your love for these characters means the world to me.

The final installment of Lucas and Emilia’s journey continues in

Broken Courage (Lucas & Emilia Book 3)

— now available to read.

BROKEN COURAGE

(Broken Redemption: Lucas & Emilia Book 3)

While tortured and held captive as a prisoner of war, she became my reason to keep breathing. The force that fueled my will to fight. To survive.

When I woke after the rescue to discover the life I thought I was coming home to was but a figment of my imagination, hallucinations brought about by pain, desperation, and isolation... it nearly broke me.

Fifteen years since I first lost her, at last, we have a second chance. Holding her in my arms, finally feeling the warmth of her skin as she melts under my touch, is like a dream. She and her two little girls are now as essential to my existence as the air I breathe.

However, just as things start falling into place, the universe steps in, threatening to take it all away. I used to think that choosing her cost me everything I'd ever loved, but now I see that in choosing her and her children, I have the chance to reclaim all that I lost. They are my salvation. My true path to redemption.

Which is why I'll leave no stone unturned, why I will scorch this world to the ground if that's what it takes to save them.

And when I do, I will fight to convince her once and for all they are meant to be mine, just as I was destined to be theirs.

💔 Continue Lucas & Emilia’s story in

Broken Courage

— available now wherever you’re reading.

Thank you for believing in these characters, for every message, every comment, every moment you’ve spent inside their world. You make it all worth it.

With all my heart,

Ariana ✨

✨ New chapters in ongoing stories land every Tuesday & Thursday at 10:00 AM EST.

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