Captured and Tainted

Angelica Louise ‘Angel’ Mendoza is a famous model and actress, she has a bitchy attitude, she does whatever she wants to do, she gained a lot of haters because of that but she doesn’t care because she’s happy. She finally achieved her dreams and plans in life, she couldn’t ask for more. Her best friend, Jaze, has a long-time boyfriend. Angelica knew that Jaze is deeply in love with him that’s why she was shocked when Jaze left without any notice, leaving her boyfriend behind. And now, she’s being held as a hostage by her best friend’s ferocious boyfriend… Zakarius Cavalcante.

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NOTE: I will mute disrespectful readers from now on. PLEASE. Please stop mentioning other writer’s stories or characters in my stories. Call me sensitive or whatever you want, but I found comments like that offensive, I won’t… and I will never take those as a compliment. Please stop doing that to me and to other writers as well. I love reading comments from the stories I worked hard writing… yes, writing is my relaxation but I can’t deny the fact that it is tiring as well. So please, be mindful of your comments, that’s all I ask for. Please, let’s respect each other. Thank you.

DISCLAIMER

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, businesses, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

I mostly write cliché , light (not all the time), predictable, and unrealistic stories. If you are looking for realistic stories with life lessons and drama, you can’t find it in this series. My stories are also unedited and contain a lot of grammatical errors and typos. I’m open to correction and criticism, please correct me if you happen to see some errors in my works :)

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

WARNING: This series contains violence, abuse, brutality, and vulgar words, please be aware that this series also contains kidnapping, using or selling illegal drugs, abusing of power and other sensitive issues that may be disturbing for some readers. I do not promote, support neither romanticize any of the crimes and red flags that will be mentioned throughout the series, it’s just needed in the story. Thank you.

WARNING: SPG | R18

MOODBOARD

✿❯───「Angel Mendoza」───❮✿

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

»Zakarius Cavalcante«

credits to pinterest ~

Chapter One

WARNING: Kung ayaw niyo ng story na may cheating issues, may mababaw at nakakainis na characters, nonsense na dahilan, at may mababaw na cause of conflict, please drop niyo na agad. Kung mataas ang standard niyo sa story at characters, please wag niyo na lang basahin ’to… salamat.

• • • ~ ~ ~ * * *

Angelica Louise ‘Angel’ Mendoza

“Yes! That’s it, Angel. Fiercer, you’re doing good!”

I looked at the camera one last time with a serious look on my face. This photographer annoys the hell out of me. He says that I’m doing good but we’ve been doing this for hours.

May balak ba siyang pagpahingahin ako?

“Okay, that’s enough. I’m tired,” I said and rolled my eyes at the photographer and went back to my seat.

“Hindi pa tayo tapos, Angel,” sabi nito at napakamot pa sa batok nito.

“Do you think I’m a freakin’ robot? I did my best. Ikaw na ang problema, do your job well next time. Wala ka sa kalingkingan ng mga photographers na nakakatrabaho ko,” I said and smiled sweetly at him.

My personal assistant-slash-manager scratched the back of his head and facepalmed. The hell I care, I’m tired as fuck and this whole thing is draining me out. Dapat kanina pa ito tapos, hindi ko alam kung ano’ng trip ng photographer na ’to.

“O-okay, let’s wrap up,” sabi na lang nito.

“Chan, where’s my bag?” I asked my personal assistant as my perfect eyebrow arched.

I looked at my face in the mirror. I’m tired as fuck but I still look like a goddess. How is that even possible?

I’m wearing a neon sportswear, this one looks good on me. But I won’t buy this pair, paniguradong marami na ang bibili nito once na ma-release ang endorsement ko rito. That’s the reason why I wear my clothes only once because every clothes I wear is always on trend, at ayaw ko ng may katulad. I donate it to charities most of the time, pero kapag talagang gusto ko, itinatago ko na lang.

“Ito na,” sabi na lang ni Chan at inabot sa ’kin ang bag ko, padabog.

“Galit ka ba?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko sa kanya.

“Angel naman kasi, lahat na lang ba talaga aawayin mo? Hindi ’yan maganda sa image mo, tigilan mo na ’yan,” pananaway niya sa ’kin.

“I’ve been a bitch since day one, but I’m still the most successful and highest paid actress and model. Fuck off,” I said as a half smile crossed my face.

“Iyan pa, tigilan mo na nga ang pagmumura mo. Nadulas ka nga noong nakaraan sa interview mo at napamura ka, buti na lang nagawan ng paraan ng ni Sir Cassian.” Chan is always stressed-out when it comes to me. I’m kind of hard-headed and hard to tame, but I pay him more than what he deserves naman, e.

Cassian is the CEO of Aingeal Agency. I  think he’s just 5 years older than me, he’s young to be a CEO. Pero tuta ko lang din siya. Ako ang nagpalago ng agency niya, sa akin nga rin kinuha ang pangalan ng agency, gano’n akong ka-importante kay Cassian kaya handa siyang linisin nang paulit-ulit ang kalat ko.

“The interviewer was annoying as hell, kulang na lang pati kulay ng panty ko itanong niya. Sino ba’ng hindi mapapamura?” I asked innocently, defending myself.

Chan shook his head and sat beside me. He seems tired and exhausted, I wonder why… Hindi naman siya ang napagod sa letcheng photographer na ’yon kundi ako.

“My phone, Chan?” I asked and closed my eyes. I really want to go home and sleep for a whole day, ayoko lang talaga na mamaga ang mukha ko, baka sermunan na naman ako ni Chan.

“It’s in your bag, maghanap ka paminsan-minsan.”

I opened my eyes and glared at him. He just scratched the back of his head and took my phone from my bag. I’m not in the mood to do anything. Kung maaari nga ay magpapabuhat na lang ako sa kanya pauwi.

I took my phone from him and immediately went to my social media accounts. My eyebrow arched when news about him popped out of my newsfeed first.

“Wow, best director of the year na naman si Zakarius Cavalcante,” Chan murmured while peeking on my phone. I pushed his head away from me and raised my middle finger at him. He just pouted and scratched his nape.

Napatingin na lang ulit ako sa phone ko, as usual, Zakarius Cavalcante didn’t come to claim his award. He never attended awards ceremonies, even once. Taon taon na lang yata siyang nananalong best director ngunit hindi siya sumisipot. Weird.

“Show off,” I mumbled while looking at his picture, it was just a stolen picture. He’s wearing a leather jacket and a black cap, you can barely see his face on the picture.

Damn him!

“He has something to show off though. Nakakapagtaka lang talaga na ni minsan hindi ka niya kinuhang artista, kahit extra man lang,” napapailing na sabi ni Chan.

The veins in my head pulsated, I kicked his legs and pushed him away from me. Kita na nga niyang pagod ako, iniinis niya pa ’ko.

“Do you really think I’ll accept an extra role, Chan? My face, my body, my brain, and my talent doesn’t deserve that, I always deserve the best role,” I said and gritted my teeth. I suddenly want to fire him.

Chan laughed nervously and started massaging my back. I just rolled my eyes and threw my phone on the table. Tumaas na nga ang dugo ko sa engot na photographer kanina, dumadagdag pa siya.

“Joke lang naman, Angel. Siyempre hindi deserve ng katulad mo ang simpleng role lang. Tanga lang talaga si Director Cavalcante dahil hindi ka niya kinukuha,” he said while still laughing awkwardly. He continued massaging my back.

“Stop it! I want to go home. I’ll just take a shower and change my clothes. Bitbitin mo ang mga gamit ko at dalhin sa van para matuwa ako sa ’yo.”

I stood up and just brought my small bag with me and immediately went to my own dressing room here in the building’s agency. Yes, I have my own dressing room because I don’t like sharing with other actresses. Wala namang nagagawa si Cassian sa lahat ng gusto ko dahil malaking pera ang ipinapasok ko rito.

I wore a light pink off-shoulder chiffon crop top, revealing my small waist, and paired it with a cream-colored mini skirt. I wore light pink wedge heels, I don’t really like pink stuff, tinatamad lang talaga ako na magpa-bongga pa ng suot. I just wore my simplest set of clothes.

I looked at the mirror and put my hair into a messy bun. I put a very minimal make up and looked at myself in the mirror one last time before heading out. I look beautiful in whatever I wear anyway.

“Grabe, ang paghihintay ko, mahigit isang oras,” Chan complained while waiting for me in front of the door. My perfect eyebrow arched.

“Tanga ka ba? Bakit hindi ka na lang naghintay sa loob para hindi ka nagrereklamo riyan?”

Wala na talaga siyang alam gawin kundi ang pag-initin ang ulo ko. Hindi ko rin alam sa sarili ko kung bakit hindi ko pa siya pinapalitan. It’s not easy to find someone like him who can cope up with my bitchy attitude. Walang nagtagal na PA sa ’kin maliban sa kanya.

I just rolled my eyes and left him there, he immediately followed me and clung on my arm, I’m way taller than him, hanggang leeg ko lang siya kaya madalas ay nakapit siya sa braso ko upang makahabol, hinahayaan ko na lang.

“You don’t have schedule for today, magpahinga ka na lang daw sabi ni Sir Cassian,” Chan mumbled. 

“Magpapahinga naman talaga ako, may pahintulot man niya o wala.” Napairap na lang ako at tumuloy sa paglalakad.

“Angel!”

I sighed when I heard Cassian’s voice from nowhere. I just shrugged my shoulders and pulled Chan, signaling him to ignore Cassian, but as a scaredy-cat as he is, he pulled me to Cassian’s direction. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes tightly. Ako ba talaga ang amo ni Chan o si Cassian?

“What the hell, Cassian? I’m tired as fuck because of the fucking stupid photographer you hired and now–” Cassian immediately covered my mouth with his hand.

“Shut up, Angel. Director Cavalcante is with me,” Cassian murmured in a firm voice.

Noon ko lang napansin na nasa likod niya pala talaga si Director Zakarius Cavalcante at walang emosyon na nakatingin sa ’min.

Cassian removed his hand and smiled at me, I know that smile, as if he’s telling me to behave or be a good girl just for once. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

“Nako, pasensya na, direk. Medyo mainitin lang talaga ang ulo ni Angel kapag pagod. You know, she’s really busy and in demand. By the way, I bet you know her, right? Angel Mendoza, Philippine’s most awarded actress and model of this generation,” Cassian remarked proudly. I suddenly want to kick his ass to shut him up.

I scoffed and turned my gaze at Zakarius Cavalcante, he’s probably the hottest movie director that can beat any actors in terms of good looks. Ilang beses ko na siyang nakita ngunit hindi ko maiwasang hangaan ang pagmumukha niyang ’yan.

His black and tousled hair suited his badass look. His thick eyebrows matched with his long eyelashes and his hooded light blue eyes that scream dominance and authority even though you can’t see any emotions there. His proud pointed nose suited his thin pinkish lips and his prominent clean-shaved jawline. Matangkad na ako ngunit nanliliit pa rin ako sa tuwing magkaharap kami ng ganito.

“I already know her, but I’m not here for her. Where’s Savannah Miranda?” Zakarius asked and immediately turned his gaze at Cassian.

Cassian scratched his nape and looked apologetically at me. I raised my eyebrow and glared at him, he just smiled awkwardly at me and signaled Chan to take me away.

Huminga ako nang malalim at pinigil ang sarili ko na sugurin ang Zakarius na ’to at sapakin.

Chan seemed to notice that I’m about to explode so he immediately pulled me away from them. I gritted my teeth as I left that fucking building with heavy steps.

“Fuck him! Fuck Zakarius Cavalcante! How dare him?! Seriously? Savannah Miranda? I’m way better than her in all aspect, Chan!”

Tuluyan na akong sumabog nang makapasok na kami sa van. Napakamot na lang si Chan sa batok niya at pinandar na ang van.

“Ano ka ba, Angel. H’wag mong isipin masyado si Director Cavalcante, hindi naman siya kawalan sa career mo ’no. Wala lang talaga siyang taste sa pagpili ng artista,” Chan said, trying to calm me down.

I threw my bag on the floor and stomped my feet. I can’t believe him! Zakarius Cavalcante is really unbelievable, how dare he do this to me?

Best friend ako ng girlfriend niya! Dapat ay pinakikisamahan niya ’ko nang maayos.

Mainit pa rin ang ulo ko hanggang sa maka-uwi ako kaya pinauwi ko na kaagad si Chan at baka sa kanya ko pa mailabas ang inis ko.

I sat on the couch, still clenching my jaw. Kanina ko pa gustong magwala, sa agency pa lang. I just did my best not to throw a fit there.

“Relax, Angel. Chan is right, hindi siya kawalan sa career ko,” I murmured.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself a little bit. I counted one to twenty before I opened my eyes again.

The luxurious style of my house invaded my sight as I opened my eyes. My house is not that big because I live here alone, beige and brown is the color scheme of my house, and honestly, I like dull colors more than bright ones.

I live in a private village, this house and everything I have is from my own money and hard work. Nasa New Zealand ang mga magulang ko. Actually, they don’t want me to be an actress, but as a spoiled brat as I am, I did what I want. Wala na rin naman silang nagawa at sinuportahan na lang din ako.

I can say, I’m successful at the age of 30, I entered showbiz five years ago. Naka-graduate naman ako ng college, I finished Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communication, a broadcasting major, I just wanted to be a reporter at first, and I did become a reporter… I don’t know why I end up as an actress.

I woke up from my thoughts when I heard the door opened, kilala ko na kaagad kung sino ’yon. Isa lang naman ang may extrang susi rito sa bahay ko.

“Oh my God, Jaze. Good thing you came. Iyang boyfriend mo nga ay kausapin mo, what the hell is his problem with me?!”

Natatawang napailing na lang si Jaze sa ibinungad ko sa kanya pagkapasok na pagkapasok niya. She sat beside me and gave me a bag of fruits. She knew I only eat fruits most of the time, especially cherries.

“He doesn’t have any problems with you, I think. He’s just like that,” Jaze said and laughed softly. I just rolled my eyes and removed my wedge. I just threw it somewhere, Jaze didn’t react, she’s used to it.

Jazelyn Hernaez, or Jaze, is my long-time best friend since we were first year college, magka-edad lang kami. She’s a talented fashion designer. I always wear her designs to show my support for her. Pero kahit hindi ko naman siya suportahan ay marami pa rin siyang kliyente dahil magaling talaga siya.

She’s beautiful too, magaling siya magdala ng damit at talagang fashionable ang mga sinusuot niya. She has an angelic face… almond shape eyes, luscious and pinkish lips, white skin… Marami ring nagsasabi na hindi magkaiba ang aura naming dalawa. I look like a bitch and she looks an angel.

“May problema sa’kin ang Zakarius na ’yon. You should break up with him! How dare he embarrass me like that? Pinagdududahan na ng mga tao kung bakit hindi niya ako kinukuhang artista sa mga palabas niya. Ask him what the fuck is his problem with me, alam kong meron!” I grunted and stomped my feet on the floor.

Jaze and Zak have been in a relationship since our last year in college or after college, hindi ko na maalala. Zakarius is 8 years older than Jaze, but I guess age doesn’t really matter when it comes to love.

“Hey, Jaze, are you still listening to me?” I asked and snapped my fingers in front of her face.

Jaze just shook her head and smiled apologetically at me.

“Oh, sorry, Angel. I’m just tired. Ano nga ulit ’yong sinabi mo?” tanong niya. Natatawang napailing na lang ako at tinapik ang balikat niya.

“Just take a rest, Jaze. You really seem tired,” I said and smiled at her.

“Thanks, Angel. I’ll just call you later, okay? Kainin mo ang mga ’yan,” sabi niya saka itinuro ang mga prutas.

“Yes, Mommy. You can leave now, and take a rest,” I commanded and raised my eyebrow at her. She laughed gently and nodded before heading out.

It seems like something is bothering her. I’ll just ask her later, she doesn’t seem alright.

I CAN feel that something is wrong with Jaze, she’s not herself these past few days and I’m honestly worried about her but she’s not telling me anything about her problem. Her clients are complaining to me saying that Jaze can’t be reached out.

“Angel, we have to do something about Director Cavalcante. Why is he not interested in you? May alitan ba kayo? Bakit hindi ka niya kinuhang artista ni minsan? This is making my blood boil, Angelica,” Cassian complained. I just rolled my eyes and continued my skin care routine.

“I don’t give a shit about him anymore. Bahala siya sa buhay niya, hindi naman ako ang mawawalan kundi siya,” I said and looked at my gorgeous face in the mirror. Perfect.

“But, Angel, he’s an important factor in your career and I can’t take it! He’s not–”

I didn’t let him finish and immediately ended the call. I still have to call Jaze, I don’t have time for his nonsensical tirades.

Nagtungo ako sa kama at umupo ro’n habang hinahanap ang pangalan ni Jaze sa contacts. I was about to call her but she calls me first. I immediately answered her call.

“Hello, Jaze! I was about to call–”

“M-Ma’am Angel, si Leah po ito.”

My forehead creased. Bakit nasa katulong ni Jaze ang phone niya?

“Hello? Where’s Jaze? Bakit na sa ’yo ang phone niya?” I asked in a calm tone. I don’t want to sound rude.

“Ma’am, kasi po si Ma’am Jaze bigla pong umalis. Namalengke lang po ako saglit pero pagbalik ko po rito sa bahay, wala na ang mga damit niya. Nag-aalala po ako, Ma’am Angel. Baka po alam niyo kung saan siya nagpunta,” nag-aalalang sabi ni Leah.

Agad na umakyat ang kaba sa dibdib ko. Nagpaalam na ako kay Leah sa tawag at sinabing susubukan kong hanapin si Jaze.

I immediately took a jacket from my closet because I’m just wearing a silk nightie. I took my wallet and wore a simple flip flops. Kailangan ko siyang mahanap, hindi ako matatahimik hangga’t hindi ko siya nakakausap nang maayos. There’s really something wrong with her.

Bakit siya aalis? I can’t believe that she’ll leave Zakarius just like that, she’s head over heels in love with him. Kasama niya ba si Zakarius? Pero imposibleng hindi siya magsasabi sa ’kin.

Nagtungo na ako pinto at agad na binuksan ’yon upang lumabas ng silid, ngunit natigilan ako nang si Zakarius ang bumungad sa ’kin pagkabukas ko no’n.

“Z-Zakarius? H-how did you–”

My knees weakened while staring at his blue eyes. Unfamiliar electricity gushed through my veins, I gulped but I felt a lump in my throat. My hands are cold and shaking because of his fearsome presence.

How did he manage to enter my house? My house is fully protected. How did he get through the security system of my house?

I bit the inside of my cheeks, trying to ease my nervousness… His presence scares me right now, I don’t know why.

“I’ll just ask you once, don’t test my patience, woman. Where is Jaze?”

Nagtayuan ang mga balahibo ko sa malamig niyang boses. I think this is the first time he talked to me, he never talked to me before and just ignores me.

“I don’t know, I-I was about to go out and find her because I’m worried. How about you?! Why the fuck are you doing here inside my house? Do you want me to call the cops?!” I shouted, trying to look strong and unbothered.

“Where the fuck is Jaze?” he asked again, in a more domineering voice this time, it made my lips shiver.

“I honestly don’t know, Zak! Can’t you just fucking believe me?” I pushed his chest away.

I moved quickly and tried to close the door but he immediately stopped the door from closing using his hand. I nervously bit my lower lip and tried my best to close the door.

Napasinghap na lang ako nang marahas ’yong bumukas, halos tumalsik ako sa sahig dahil sa lakas ng puwersa nang pagkakatulak niya sa pinto.

Fucking assh-le!

I gasped when he grabbed my jacket and pulled me up without difficulty as if I’m just a piece of paper and pulled me closer to him. I inhaled deeply when our nose almost touched. I can almost smell the scent of whiskey and cigarette from him… But his wild male scent immediately took over.

Why the fuck am I admiring his scent in this situation?

“Did she call you? Fucking answer me honestly, woman,” he said in a very dangerous voice.

I averted my gaze away from him and tried to escape from his grip. I gasped exaggeratedly when he pulled me closer to him again. Our bodies crashed together, his hard and strong body against my soft one. Unfamiliar electricity gushed through my veins.

“Will you please let me go, Zakarius?! Seryoso na ’ko! You’re crossing the line!” I shouted and tried to push him again.

My knees are shaking, my whole body is trembling, but I will never admit that I’m scared of him. Magpapanggap akong matapang at kontrolado ko ang nangyayari.

“Let me go!”

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang tuluyan na niyang bitiwan ang jacket ko. I immediately took my phone from the pocket and called Cassian, he answered it shortly.

“Hello, Angel. What’s up?” tanong niya sa kabilang linya.

“Cassian you have to call the–”

I was taken aback when I turned my gaze at Zakarius. Nanginginig ang mga tuhod na napaatras ako nang makita kung ano ang hawak niya.

“Angel? Still there?” Cassian asked.

Zakarius pulled the trigger of his gun and pointed it at me. Agad na nanlamig ang mga kamay ko habang nakatitig do’n.

“Go on, ask for help, but you’ll die right here… right now. After that, I’ll kill him next,” he said with no emotions evident in his eyes as if killing someone wasn’t a big deal to him.

With shaking hands, I ended the call. I  don’t want to die right now, I don’t want to die like this. My parents will be devastated as hell.

“You fucking vicious beast! Now I know why Jaze left! You’re a murderous creep!” I shouted as I step backwards. Paano ba ako makakaalis sa sitwasyon na ’to?

Nanginig ang mga tuhod ko nang maglakad siya papalapit sa ’kin. He gripped my arm tightly while staring murderously at me as if he wants to crash my whole existence.

“You’ll come with me, woman,” he demanded. My eyebrow arched at his remark.

“Do you think I’m insane?! Stay away from me, you fucking brute!” I tried to let go from his grip.

Natigilan ako nang itutok niya sa sentido ko ang baril niya. I closed my eyes tightly and bit the insides of my cheeks to fight my nervousness. Damn this man, damn his fucking gun!

“You don’t want to tell me where Jaze is? Fine, I’ll just take you as a hostage until she comes back.”

Chapter Two

“Fuck you, Zakarius Cavalcante! You will fucking rot in hell!”

Wala na akong pakialam kung malakas man ang bunganga ko. How dare he do this to me? Ang kapal ng mukha niyang tutukan ako ng baril at basta na lang akong kuhanin!

“Zakarius, I swear, you will rot in jail after this! Itaga mo ’yan sa bato!” nanggigigil na sigaw ko at pinilit na alisin ang pagkakaposas ng kamay ko mula sa likuran.

I’m here inside his car, I don’t know where he’ll take me, and this motherf-cker handcuffed me! My wrists are aching because I’ve been struggling since he brought me here. I’m on the backseat of his car while he was driving. Honesly, this is too much. Nasisiraan na talaga ng bait ang Zakarius na ’to.

“This is kidnapping Zakarius, this is a crime, this is against the law!” I shouted and tried to kick him but I can’t, ang hirap kumilos kapag nakaposas.

“I know, I’m not stupid,” he answered in a cold tone without looking at me. Damn this guy.

“You’re not stupid naman pala, e! You should know where this shit will take you, ipakukulong talaga kita kapag nakawala ako rito!”

My blood boiled when I saw his face from the rearview mirror, still emotionless. Mukhang hindi siya apektado sa mga pananakot ko na tila ba hindi siya natatakot. Makawala lang talaga ako rito at makikita niya.

“Damn this,” I murmured and laid my back on the seat.

I just want to know where Jaze is, I just want to know if she’s alright and what’s bothering her. Why did I end up being kidnapped by his crazy boyfriend?

By the way, paano na ang shooting ko bukas?

Natigilan ako nang mapansin kong tumigil ang kotse. Zakarius got off the car and opened the backseat’s door. I gasped in shock when he suddenly pulled my legs and grabbed my arm.

Walang kahirap-hirap na binuhat niya ako mula sa baywang at isinabit sa balikat niya.

“Damn you, Zakarius! Where the hell are we?!”

I still tried my best to struggle but he just held my waist tightly for me to stay still. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes tightly. Nakakahilo ang posisyon ko ngayon, idagdag pa na naglalakad siya.

I accidentally inhaled his scent, I encountered a lot of male models and actors, they all smell good but Zakarius’ manly scent hits differently.

“Ah!” Napasigaw ako nang basta na lang ako nitong ibinagsak sa couch, halos tumalbog ako sa lakas ng puwersa no’n.

Zakarius took the handcuffs’ key from his pocket. He sat on top of the mini table in front of me and leaned closer at me, I inhaled deeply when his scent invaded my nose. Damn his smell… Muntik ko ng makaalimutan na naiinis nga pala ako sa kanya.

He removed the handcuffs and threw it beside me. Pakiramdam ko nakahinga ako nang maayos nang maalis ’yon. Damn those handcuffs, I fucking hate them now. I held my wrists and gently massaged it, my wrists reddened because of those fucking handcuffs.

I stood up and glared at Zakarius. Wala pa ring bahid ng emosyon sa mukha niya habang nakatingin sa ’kin. Gusto ko tuloy siya kalmutin dahil sa inis ko.

Zakarius stood up too. I bit my lower lip because he’s way taller than me.

I just raised my eyebrow and looked murderously at him, trying to show him that I’m not scared nor intimidated. I will show dominance here, fuck his gun.

“Are you on drugs, Zakarius?!” I asked and pushed his hard chest. Hindi naman siya natinag at nanatiling nakatingin sa ’kin.

“Tell me where Jaze is right now and I’ll let you go this instant,” he muttered while looking straightly into my eyes. I rolled my eyes and groaned in irritation.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I really don’t know where she is right now?! I’m worried as hell about her too! Why don’t we just help each other and find her instead of doing this foolish and immature act? My goodness, Director Cavalcante, hindi ko alam na ganito ka ka-siraulo.” I massaged my temple, trying to calm myself a little. Gusto ko na talaga siyang bigwasan ngayon.

“Then you don’t have a choice, you’re my hostage right now, woman. You have to bear with it until Jaze comes back.”

My mouth agape when he just turned his back at me and left me here in the living room. Now, what? Mabubulok na lang ba ako rito sa malaking bahay niya?!

Wait, did he just leave me here?

A smile formed on my sexy lips. This is my chance to escape from Zakarius. Damn him, he’s an idiot to the highest degree.

Agad akong tumakbo palabas ng bahay niya ngunit bumagsak ang mga balikat ko sa bumungad sa ’kin.

Am I a fucking prisoner?! Hindi lang basta gate ang pumo-protekta sa bahay na ’to kundi pader, sobrang matataas na pader. Mukhang hindi na nga tinatamaan ng sinag ng araw ang bahay na ’to sa taas ng mga pader.

The yard’s space is really huge, halos pwede na yatang maglaro ng soccer dito. There is a fountain in the middle with snake design on its sides, even the top of the fountain is a sculptured snake.

Is Zakarius a vampire?! My goodness, I will definitely go crazy if I stay here a little longer. This place is suffocating as hell. Zakarius is really a super weird guy. Paano siya napagtiyagaan ng ilang taon ni Jaze?

I stomped my feet on the ground and just get back inside his house. I roamed my eyes around the place, I didn’t get to appreciate his house earlier because I’m too preoccupied with my raging feelings.

His house is really huge, twice or thrice bigger than my house. The color scheme of his house are dark gray and light gray, too dull, but I love it. There are a lot of snake paintings on the wall, maybe he likes snakes… Weird. I hate snakes even though I’ve been socializing with them for years.

It seems like there are a lot of rooms here. The space is really huge, his house is huge, I don’t even know if it’s still right to call this a house. Wala lang talagang masyadong gamit. Ang laman lang ng living room ay couch at malaking TV.

The huge chandelier on the ceiling is not that bright, which is good. Mayroong malaking hagdan, hindi ko alam kung ano’ng meron sa itaas, maybe rooms and such too. I can say that the architect who designed this house really did a good job.

By the way, where the hell is Zakarius?

“Zakarius!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, my voice echoed like hell in his house. I’m not really a screamer, I just want to annoy Zakarius.

“Zakarius ‘fucking’ Cavalcante!” I shouted again, making sure that he’ll hear my annoying voice this time.

I waited for a couple of minutes but no Zakarius appeared. Where the hell is he? Is he planning to leave me here all alone to die and decay right after?

I slumped on the couch and sighed. Damn this night. Damn Zakarius Cavalcante, how dare him abandon me like this?

Ayokong mamatay ng hindi pa natatapos ang mga shooting ko. Ayoko ng may ibang gumanap sa mga roles ko. Ako lang ang bagay sa mga ’yon!

Agad akong napatayo nang makita si Zakarius na pababa ng hagdan. Nandoon pala siyang hayop siya, kanina pa ako sigaw nang sigaw rito. Agad akong lumapit sa kanya at tinaasan siya ng kilay.

“Zakarius, where the hell is my room?” I asked in a demanding voice and crossed my arms over my chest.

I noticed that he’s wearing a different clothes now. He’s wearing a gray jogging pants and plain white t-shirt. Lalong kapansin-pansin ngayon ang magandang tindig niya.

Honestly, he can be a model and an actor himself. Well, an actor should be filled with emotions, ligwak siya ro’n dahil ni hindi yata siya marunong ngumiti.

“Follow me,” he commanded and turned his back at me. I just rolled my eyes and followed him.

Umakyat kami sa hagdan. I silently admired the design of the staircase. Naglalaro ang kulay ng dark gray at light gray sa bawat baitang no’n. The design of silver stair handrail is awesome too, tila balat ng ahas ang disenyo no’n.

He seems to like snakes a lot, that’s so weird on so many levels. I hate snakes to the core, they’re scary.

I roamed my eyes around the place, my hunch wasn’t right, walang masyadong kuwarto rito sa second floor. But he has a mini gym here, a bar with lots of alcoholic drinks, and some snakes paintings and vases.

Damn, does he worship snakes?!

My stomach growled, I bit my lower lip and touched my soft abdomen. I stopped walking and patted Zakarius’ back. He looked at me as his forehead creased.

Nagutom tuloy ako dahil sa mga pinaggagawa ng Zakarius na ’to!

“Hey, Zak. I want to eat first, I’m hungry,” I commanded.

He didn’t say anything. Naglakad na lang siya pabalik ulit sa ibaba, siguro nasa first floor ang dining area. Sumunod na lang ako sa kanya habang nakahawak sa tiyan ko.

We reached the dining area, the dining area’s interior design is simple. The table is good for just four people, there’s no much utensils but the kitchen is incredibly clean and neat. It’s just odd, there’s no snake whatsoever here. Akala ko pa naman ay lahat ng parte ng bahay niya may ahas na kung ano-ano.

“Eat whatever you want, I’ll just wait for you here. Eat faster,” he said in a domineering voice and sat on the chair.

“No, I don’t eat fast, Director. I chew my food slowly, with class. So you don’t have a choice but to wait even if it takes forever… By the way, where’s the food?” I asked while I was roaming my eyes everywhere. Pinapakain niya ako pero wala namang pagkain. Nahihibang na ba talaga siya?

“In the refrigerator, cook your own food, princess,” he said in a mocking voice as he mentioned the word princess.

Muli akong napairap at lumapit sa ref at binuksan ’yon. Napasinghap ako nang makita ang laman ng ref niya. I can’t see any fruits or vegetables inside his refrigerator. There are meats, fish, lots of liquors and bottled water… Damn!

“Oh my God, Zak. This can’t be! You don’t have any fruits or vegetables here?! I only eat fruits for my dinner!” I exaggeratedly exclaimed.

“Stop complaining and just eat whatever’s in there, you’re not a princess here,” he said in an authoritative voice, commanding.

“No way, Zakarius. I want fruits, this instant. Only fruits!” I shouted again and stomped my feet. Naiirita na ’ko dahil wala siyang prutas. Kahit mamatay ako sa gutom dito, hindi ako kakain ng karne.

“Mamatay ka sa gutom,” he said, unaffected and stood up. My lips parted when he left me here alone in the kitchen.

I gripped my own hair in irritation and immediately followed him. Hinawakan ko ang braso niya upang patigilin siya sa paglalakad.

He inhaled deeply and faced me, I was almost taken aback when I saw his kind of irritated face. I can see in his face that he wants to kill me now or sew mouth. I fought the urge to roll my eyes again. This is his fault anyway, he shouldn’t have kidnapped someone like me. I’m too high-maintenanced for his cheap kidnapping schemes. Damn him to the highest degree!

“Zakarius! You are a fucking cheap kidnapper! You just kidnapped the highest paid actress in the country, you should have prepared or at least search information about me! I rarely eat meat, at hindi ako nakain ng meat and fish kapag gabi.” I put my hands on my waist and glared at him. Hindi ’to makatarungan para sa akin!

Zakarius licked his lower lip and clenched his perfect jaw. I fought the urge to smirk at his reaction. Buti nga sa kanya, pasasakitin ko ang ulo niya hangga’t nandito ako.

He took his phone from his pocket and started typing something there. I just crossed my arms over my chest while staring at him. What the hell is he doing?

“Cadence, bring a sack of fucking fruits here. Right now,” he ordered while he was gritting his teeth.

“Oh, tell that Cadence or whoever the hell he is that I only eat high quality fruits, and I want lots of cherries and strawberries. Oh, I want bananas too, and please, I want my fruits in a perfect state. H’wag niyang ilagay sa sako dahil marumi ’yon. Thank you,” I said and smiled sweetly at him.

Zak clenched his jaw once again and gripped his phone tightly. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, as if he’s trying to calm himself.

“You hear that? Bring it all here in a minute,” sabi niya saka agad na ibinaba ang phone niya.

“Okay, bring me to my room while we’re waiting for my fruits. I suddenly want to take a nap,” I said ang gently massaged my nape.

Zakarius didn’t say anything and turned his back at me. Umakyat ulit kami sa hagdan, sumunod na lang ako sa kanya dahil gusto ko na ring humiga.

I’m just wandering around when something caught my attention. It sent shiver down my spine. I gasped and gripped the hem of Zakarius’ shirt. Natigilan siya at humarap sa ’kin.

“Is that a fucking snake, Zakarius?!” I asked exaggeratedly and pointed a snake inside an aquarium-like something. It’s a really huge color black or brown snake and it’s moving! It’s moving! What the fuck?!

“That’s my royal python, Brutus. Don’t mind him,” he said and shrugged off.

“No freakin’ way, Zakarius Cavalcante! Pakawalan mo ako o alisin mo ang royal something na ’yan dito! I don’t like snakes, Zak. Alisin mo ’yan dito kung ayaw mong magwala talaga ako!” I demanded, my voice thundered around the house. I don’t care, I can’t stay here with scary snakes around.

“Fine, just shut up, will you?” tila naiinis ng tanong niya. Napaismid na lang ako nang magpatuloy na siya sa paglakakad at agad na sumunod sa kanya.

Kapag naabutan ko pa rito ang ahas na ’yan bukas talagang magwawala ako.

“This will be your room,” he announced and opened the light gray door.

I immediately go inside and examined the whole room. Not bad, the room is huge with huge bed and TV. There’s also a small ref at the corner and it seems like this room has its own bathroom which is good. But there’s no closet or vanity mirror around.

I sat on the bed, it felt somewhat comfortable. But I like the bed in my house more.

“Zakarius, where is your room?”

“Why are you asking that?” he asked. Nakasandal siya sa pintuan habang nakatingin sa ’kin, mukha siyang model ng men’s clothing.

“Of course, I have to know. Paano kung may kailangan pa ako or what? Or just provide a phone for me with your number in it so I can call you easily, or you can just provide a maid for me. You choose,” I said and looked at my nails. I need a manicure, I should request a manicurist to Zak. Hindi ko pinababayaan ang mga kamay at kuko ko.

“My room is just next to yours. Stop bothering me and just… Damn, woman. You’re a hostage here, not a fucking princess.” His jaw clenched together with his fists. He’s gonna lose it, I think.

“Whatever,” I said and rolled my eyes at him.

He didn’t say anything and just left my room. I shrugged my shoulders and laid my back on the soft mattress. Inaantok na ako pero gusto ko munang kumain ng cherries or banana.

Bumangon ako at muling nilibot ang tingin sa paligid. Sasabihin ko na lang kay Zak na ipadala ang mga gamit ko rito, ayaw ko ng ibang damit, or personal necessities, gusto ko ’yong sa akin lang.

I stopped when I heard a weird sound, ssshh, something like that. I roamed my eyes around the room, saan nanggagaling ang tunog na ’yon?

Tumayo ako at sinilip ang ilalim ng kama, agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makitang may ahas doon.

“Aaahhhh!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. I ran out of the room and immediately look for Zakarius.

“Zakarius fucking Cavalcante! Aahhh!”

Agad na lumabas si Zak ng kuwarto niya na katabi nga lang ng akin. Agad akong tumakbo papalapit sa kanya. Natigilan siya nang lumambitin ako sa batok niya. I clung my legs on his waist and hugged his neck. My hands are trembling as well as my knees. Papatayin ako sa nerbiyos ng mga ahas ni Zakarius!

Zakarius held my waist and tried to get me off him but I just clung on him tighter. Napatingin ako sa mukha niya, natigilan ako nang halos magdikit na ang mga ilong naming dalawa. I can also smell his minty breath. Our position is really awkward but I won’t get off him until that fucking scary snake is gone. Bakit ba kasi ang dami niyang ahas dito?!

“What the fuck is your problem?” Zakarius asked while looking intensely at me. His blue eyes locked with my brown ones.

“There’s a snake in my room, Zak! How dare you put a snake there?! Alisin mo ang mga ahas mo rito sa bahay na ’to!”

Wala akong pakialam kahit halos tumalsik na ang laway ko sa mukha niya, hindi ako matatahimik hangga’t may mga ahas dito.

Zakarius sighed and entered my room while I’m still clinging like a monkey on him. I gasped when I saw the snake on the floor and hugged Zakarius tighter.

Tila wala lang na kinuha niya ang ahas gamit ang isang kamay niya. May lahi ba siyang ahas?!

“Put that thing away, Zak!”

Lumabas siya ng kuwarto ko at inilagay sa aquarium-like thingy ang ahas na hawak niya kasama ang isang ahas pa na malaki. Hindi ba sila mag-aaway sa loob?

“Lock it tightly, make sure those… those scary animals won’t be able to escape!” I frantically exclaimed and pointed the aquarium-like thingy.

Tila nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang nasa loob na ang ahas. I still can’t believe that there are snakes lurking around his house. Paano kung kagatin ako ng mga ’yon?

“Get off me,” Zakarius said in a cold tone.

I immediately get off him and cleared my throat. I fixed my disheveled hair and act cool… damn that snake.

“Let me clear things to you, I want all your snakes gone in this house! All of it, Zak. And please, bring my clothes, if possible, bring my whole closet here. I also want books because I get bored easily. Give me a phone so I can call you anytime I want to. I need a manicurist and pedicurist. Provide me with anything I want so we can live here peacefully without chaos,” I said and showed him my sweetest smile.

Zakarius remained silent, I don’t know what he’s thinking right now but I know he’s about to explode. Good for him.

He was about to turn his back on me but I immediately gripped the hem of his shirt. He looked at me with irritation in his eyes. Satisfying.

“By the way, change the design of this house, remove the snakes painting and all snake shits here. I really hate snakes. That’s all, thanks.”

He removed my hand on his shirt, finally turned his back at me and entered his room. A triumphant smirk formed in my lips. He kidnapped me and held me as a hostage or whatsoever… he has to bear with it.

It seems like his coldness is no match for my bitchiness.

Chapter Three

I didn’t have a good sleep here. Wala man lang akong phone at hindi ko ma-check ang social media accounts ko. That is really frustrating! Being kidnapped by that cheap man is the worst. Damn Zakarius, damn him.

“I need clothes,” I mumbled and looked at the nightie I’m wearing since last night. Disgusting.

“Zakarius!”

Lumabas ako ng kuwarto ko at agad na kinatok ang pinto sa silid ni Zak. I smirked when the aquarium-like thingy with snakes is not there at the corner anymore. Buti naman, kundi talagang magwawala ako.

“Zak!” I shouted and knocked on his door. Damn him, I badly want to take a shower and I won’t wear this nightie again, that’s disgusting.

The door abruptly opened, I was taken aback when Zak came out, he looks fresh unlike me. Mukhang bagong ligo siya dahil basa pa ang buhok niya. He’s wearing a leather pants and kinda fitted white shirt. I stole glimpse at his mucled arms. He always wears a leather jacket or long sleeve something, last night was actually the first time I saw him without wearing one, and today is the second time… Damn, he’s ripped.

“What?” he asked while staring at me. I rolled my eyes and took a step backwards.

“Look at me,” I commanded and placed my hand on my waist. His thick eyebrow arched and looked at me from head to toe.

“Now, what?” he asked, emotionless.

“Didn’t you get it? I’m still wearing this disgusting nightie since last night. I want my wardrobe now, right now, Zakarius. I desperately want to take a shower now,” I demanded and stomped my feet on the ground.

“Wait for it,” sabi na lang niya at lumabas ng silid niya. Agad akong sumunod sa kanya.

“This is your fault, Zakarius. You kidnapped me and you didn’t take my closet with me. That’s idiotic!” I frantically exclaimed. I’m stressed out.

As usual, Zakarius remained silent and go straight to the kitchen while I’m still following him like a dog.

“Nagugutom na ’ko, kagabi ko pa hinihintay ang fruits ko,” I complained and crossed my arms over my chest.

Zakarius sighed and turned his cold gaze at me. I just arched my eyebrow and glared at him. Naiinis na talaga ako. Gusto kong kumain ng fruits at magshower pero hindi ko magawa.

“You want your fucking closet to be brought here as well as some unnecessary stuffs so fucking wait there and shut up,” he said and his jaw clenched. He turned his back at me again and put a bread inside the toaster. I just rolled my eyes and sat on the chair.

He’s annoying to the highest degree.

“By the way, where did you put your scary snakes?” I asked and curled my hair using my index finger.

“At my snake farm, faraway from you,” he answered and took a pitcher from the refrigerator.

“You have a snake farm? Damn, Zakarius. Do you worship snakes?!” I exaggeratedly asked.

Hindi naman siya sumagot at kinuha na lang ang tinapay sa toaster at kinagatan iyon. I sighed and just watched him while he was eating a bread. I suddenly want to smash the toaster on his face because of his nonsensical schemes.

“Hey, Zak!”

Natigilan ako nang makarinig ng boses mula sa living room. Agad akong tumayo at nagtungo ro’n, natigilan ako nang may makitang lalaki na hindi pamilyar sa ’kin.

“You’re late, Cadence,” sabi ni Zakarius at lumapit sa lalaki.

My eyes twinkled when I saw two plastic bags of fruits on the mini table. Agad akong lumapit do’n at tiningnan ang laman. Cherries, strawberries, bananas… Damn, I missed them.

“Woah, who is she, Zak? Akala ko ba si Jaze ang girlfriend mo?”

I turned my gaze at the man called ‘Cadence’ or whoever he is. His eyes grew wider when he saw my face. My forehead creased, why the hell is he looking at me like that?

“Damn, are you… Are you Angel Mendoza?” he asked, still shocked.

“Oh, yes, I’m Angel Mendoza,” I answered and smiled sweetly at him. That’s one of my killer smile, no one can resist that.

Cadence, or whoever the hell he is, is handsome as hell too. He has dark brown eyes and thick eyebrows like Zakarius. He seems friendly and he gives off a different vibe, a lively vibe unlike Zakarius. He has a scar on his right eyebrow that made him look hotter. But nah, something is still off about him.

“The house I illegally entered last night was her house, Zak?” Cadence asked and looked frantically at Zakarius.

“Where is her closet? Did you bring it?” Zakarius asked instead of answering his question.

“I didn’t bring the whole closet bro. I just brought the clothes inside it. Tanginang kalaki ng closet niya, kasya na yata buong bahay ko ro’n, e,” Cadence exaggeratedly remarked and pointed the mountain of clothes on the couch. Good. Makakapagshower na rin ako.

My forehead creased when I realized something.

“Wait! Paano kayo nakakapasok sa bahay ko? Paano niyo nalulusutan ang security system no’n?!” tanong ko.

“Secret. Pero pwede pa-picture?” Cadence asked and took his phone from his pocket.

“Papayag ako kung itatakas mo ako rito. This man, Zakarius ‘fucking’ Cavalcante kidnapped me!” I pointed my index finger at Zak and glared at him.

“Woah, Zakarius. You kidnapped her? That is so wrong, dude. Hindi natin gawain ang mga ganyang bagay, gentleman tayo, e,” napapailing na sabi ni Cadence at tinapik pa ang balikat ni Zak.

Why does it sound sarcastic to me?

“So, are you going to help me? I can’t stay here any longer,” I complained and rolled my eyes.

“Sorry, Ms. Mendoza, utusan lang ako ng lalaking ’yan. I can’t do anything to help you, but don’t worry, gentleman ’yan si Zak, gago lang talaga,” Cadence said and smiled at me.

Damn it.

Kailan ba kasi babalik si Jaze? Bukod sa nag-aalala ako sa kanya, gusto ko ng makawala sa Zakarius na ’to.

---

“Ah, feels good,” I said while I was combing my wet hair. I looked at myself in the mirror.

I’m just wearing a white halter crop top and cream-colored front slit palazzo pants. I sighed and stroked my wet hair, I forgot to tell Zakarius about the blower. That is one of the most important thing, how can I forget something so important?

I looked at myself in the mirror once again. I’m really beautiful, yes, gandang ganda ako sa sarili ko dahil totoo naman. One of my asset is my incredibly long and naturally straight hair. Pinag-agawan ako ng mga commercial brands dahil sa buhok ko, pinapanatili ko kasi na mahaba ito. Itim na itim ang buhok ko at hanggang balakang ko ang haba. My eyebrows are always pefectly shaped, thanks to my make up artist, but without her, my eyebrows are… nah, nevermind. My eyelashes are naturally long and curly so I don’t put fake eyelashes anymore. My almond-shaped eyes are color light brown, I always get complimented because of it. My Dad is a full blood Brazilian, that’s why my nose is naturally pointed. But my lips and eyebrows are thin, sinabi sa akin ni Cassian noon na magpa-retoke ng labi upang pakapalin nang kaunti pero tinanggihan ko.

To be honest, make up works like magic on my face. I can say that I’m beautiful, but if you will tell me to reveal my face without make up, no. I’m still not confident with my bare face. Okay, honestly, I’m still not confident enough. I don’t show anyone my ‘no make up’ face, well, except Jaze, my parents, and my personal make up artist. Even my manager, Chan, never saw my face without make up.

Lumabas na ako ng kwarto nang matapos mag-ayos at agad na dumiretso sa kusina para kumain ng prutas.

By the way, where is Zak?

I just shrugged my shoulders, malamang umalis na siya, he’s an in demand movie director, he’s always busy.

I sighed while I was eating my strawberries. Paano na kaya ang shooting ko? Malamang nagwawala na si Cassian or Chan. But what can I do? I’m a prisoner, hostage or whatever here.

“Oh, I look so beautiful on screen,” I murmured.

Nandito ako sa living room habang nanonood ng TV. Sakto na lumabas ang shampoo commercial ko. Grabe, ang ganda ko talaga.

But I think… Hmm.

Natigilan ako nang makita si Zak na pababa ng hagdan. My forehead creased, he’s still here? He didn’t even tell me that he’s here!

“Zakarius!” I stood up and glared at him.

He didn’t say anything and just wore his leather jacket as he walked towards my direction. Mas nagmumukha tuloy siyang action star imbis na direktor dahil sa mga sinusuot niya.

“I want a bigger TV, Zakarius. Palaging nasa TV ang mukha ko kaya gusto kong makita ng malinaw. And please, buy a blower for me,” I ordered with my hands on my waist.

Zakarius remained quiet while he was fixing his leather jacket, I just rolled my eyes and slumped on the couch. Sobrang nabo-bore na talaga ako rito. Nami-miss kong rumampa.

“Pakawalan mo na ako, Zak. Mamamatay ako sa boredom dito. I don’t even have a phone to check on my social media accounts, I also want to post some cute videos on my tiktok account. Saka isang araw na akong hindi nagpo-post ng vlog sa youtube. This is the worst day of my life, Zakarius. You really are the worst kidnapper in the history! This is against–”

I was taken aback when he threw something at me, buti na lang at nasalo ko iyon. Napasinghap ako nang mapagtantong cellphone pala iyon.

“That’s my phone, do whatever you want,” he said calmly. I just smiled sweetly at him and hugged his phone. Ah, this is heaven.

He was about to leave but I immediately gripped the hem of his jacket. He looked at me, irritation is evident in his blue eyes. 

“Paano kung humingi ako ng tulong sa mga kakilala ko gamit ang phone na ’to?” I asked and pointed his phone.

He took another phone from the pocket of his leather jacket and showed it to me.

“You can’t text or call anyone with that phone, no one can track your location with that too. If you’re going to use your social media to seek for help, I’ll be able to track that using this phone. I can track all of your actions with that phone. And believe me, papatayin ko ang hihingian mo ng tulong,” he said in a cold tone and turned his back at me and immediately left the house. I just rolled my eyes and stomped my feet. Damn him.

Agad kong binuksan ang phone niya, naka-connect na iyon sa wi-fi. Wala siyang masyadong applications sa phone, ni wala ngang kahit isang social media app. There is only one game here, and oddly, it’s about snakes, again.

Why is he so obsessed with snakes? The media should know about this. Huh.

Nagdownload na lang ako muna ako ng social media applications. I opened my twitter account first and I was shocked when I saw the top 1 trending tweet in the country right now.

#WhereIsAngelMendoza?

Hindi ko mapigilang matawa sa mga nababasa kong tweets. Halos maiyak na ’ko kakatawa at napapahampas na ako sa couch. I can imagine my face right now, siguro pulang pula na ang mukha ko kakatawa.

I think Angel Mendoza doesn’t want to be in the showbiz world anymore, or maybe she’s with her hidden or non-showbiz boyfriend #WhereIsAngelMendoza?

Baka naman nakipagtanan siya sa boyfriend niya?

Showbiz can be suffocating for someone famous and well-known like her. Maybe she’s just taking a break, still her fan <3

Oh my God, baka naman na-kidnap na si Angel? Dapat ginagawan na ’to ng aksyon ng agency niya.

Grabe, wala pa yatang isang araw ang nakakalipas noong kinidnap ako ng Zakarius na ’yon, nagkakagulo na agad sa social media.

I wiped my tears because of non-stop laughing and fixed my hair. Inayos ko ang camera sa phone ni Zak at agad na nagselfie para i-post ’yon sa instagram.

Hey guys, I hope all of you are having a good day. Angel Mendoza here, just taking a short break. Love y’all.

As expected, dinumog ng reacts at comments ang post ko na ’yon. Natatawa pa ro’n ako sa ibang comment. Some of them are suspecting the post, baka raw agency ko ang nagpost ng picture na ’yon.

“Makapaglive na lang kaya?” I murmured while browsing on instagram.

Natigilan ako nang agad na bumungad ang messages sa ’kin nina Cassian at Chan sa private account ko.

Cassian:

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU ANGELICA LOUISE??? NASISIRAAN KA NA BA NG BAIT? GALIT NA GALIT NA ANG DIREKTOR SAYONG GAGA KA! NASAAN KA NA BA?

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Kapag ganyan na ang way ng pagtype niya, talagang galit na siya. I just shrugged my shoulders and started typing my reply to his message. Baka pumutok pa ang ugat niya sa leeg.

Relax Cassian. Something came up, emergency. I promise I’ll try to go tomorrow, just tell them I’m sorry. If you’re still mad, I can just terminate my contract with you and find another agency ;)

Am I really saying sorry or am I threatening him? Well, whatever.

Cassian:

Fine! Just make sure that you will come tomorrow for the shooting. My God, ang sakit mo sa ulo!

I just chuckled and continued browsing on my social media accounts.

HOURS PASSED by quickly. I spent my day interacting with my fans. I may be a bitch but I appreciate and I am thankful to all of my fans. I wouldn’t be here without them, and most of them are really sweet and caring. I sincerely appreciate them.

“Hmm, how can I convince Zakarius to let me out for my shooting?” I murmured while making fruit shake. Good thing Zakarius has a blender here. I love fruit shakes and terribly missed it.

Should I annoy him again? Well, I’m not really confident about that tactic. And besides, I’m his hostage daw. Sino ba ang matinong kidnapper na magpapalabas ng biktima niya?

Saka siguradong tatakas lang ako kapag hinayaan niya akong lumabas.

To be honest, kasalanan ito ni Jaze. Why did she disappear just like that without telling her boyfriend? Ako tuloy ang ginugulo ng Zakarius na ’yon, and actually, medyo nagtatampo ako sa kanya dahil bigla siyang nawala. Hindi niya man lang naisip na sobra akong nag-aalala sa kanya.

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Mag-isa na lang si Jaze simula pa noon, her parents died because of an accident. Kaya sobra akong hanga sa kanya dahil nakakaya niya nang mag-isa. Sinuportahan lang siya ng Tita niya sa abroad na siyang nag-paaral sa kanya. Pero nalimutan ko na ang pangalan ng Tita niya na ’yon at hindi ko alam ang number. Paano ko malalaman kung nasaan siya?

What could be the reason of her sudden disappearance? May kabit ba si Zakarius? O baka siya ang may kabit.

I just shook my head, it’s impossible. Jaze loves Zak to the core. Halo araw-araw niyang bukambibig si Zakarius, imposibleng may mahal siyang iba.

I just sighed and drank my fruit shake. My head is aching, thinking about her. I’m worried as hell, hindi ko mapigilan na makapag-isip ng masama like what if she was kidnapped or what?

I stopped drinking my fruit shake when I heard some footsteps from the living room. I put my fruit shake on the table. Nakauwi na ba kaagad si Zakarius?

Agad akong nagtungo sa sala upang silipin kung dumating na ba si Zak, ngunit natigilan ako nang iba ang bumungad sa ’kin.

There’s a man with a mask on his face, he’s putting Zakarius’ expensive vases and other furniture to his extremely huge bag. I gasped when I realized what he was doing. That man is a fucking thief! Paano siya nakalusot sa ubod ng taas na pader na ’yon?

My pulse and heartbeat raced because of nervousness. I gulped and looked at my phone on the mini table. How can I get it without being noticed by that thief?

Dahan-dahan akong naglakad patungo sa couch habang hindi maalis ang tingin ko sa magnanakaw. It’s a good thing that he’s too busy putting some things on his bag.

I immediately took the phone and hide on the other side od the couch. Agad kong hinanap sa contacts ang number ni Zakarius. I cussed under my breath when I realized that this phone has no sim card and no numbers in it.

“Fuck,” I hissed.

My eyes grew wider when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me. I gasped when I saw the thief with a mask in front of me, gripping my arm tightly.

“L-let me go, you fucking thief!” I shouted and tried to escape from his grip.

“Tangina, may tao pala rito. Akala ko mag-isa lang yung lalaki.” The man removed his mask and gave me a creepy smirk.

He looks like an average adik, and he’s fucking ugly and he smells awfully bad!

“Pamilyar ka ha,” he said and gripped my jaw.

“I said let me go!” I shouted and tried to push him away but he’s way too strong for me.

Damn, where the hell is Zakarius when I need him the most?!

“Ikaw yung magandang artista, kung sinu-suwerte nga naman,” nakangising sabi niya at itinulak ako sa couch.

Napasigaw ako nang malakas nang pumaibabaw siya sa ’kin. I did my best to push him and kick him but it was all nothing.

Nanginig ang buong katawan ko nang akmang ididikit niya ang mukha sa ’kin ngunit agad kong nasampal ang pisngi niya.

The thief glared at me while he was gritting his teeth. I was about to scream but he immediately punched my stomach, my whole body weakened because of it. Fear rendered me powerless against him, fear finally took over my feelings. I’m scared, I’ve never been this scared before.

My whole body is literally shaking, my eyes dwelled with tears. I can’t think of anything anymore, I just want Zak to come and save me. Uncontrollable burning tears slid down to my cheeks.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

Nabuhay ang pag-asa sa puso ko nang marinig ang boses ni Zakarius. Natigilan din ang magnanakaw at napatingin kay Zak.

Zakarius looked at the man murderously. His jaw clenched as well as his fists. Nerves fluttered in my belly when I saw his reaction. Tila papatay na siya sa tingin niya, his blue eyes are scream ferocity and danger… I never saw him this mad before.

My eyes grew wider when Zakarius took the gun from his coat, he immediately pulled the trigger and pointed it at the thief. Napasigaw na lang ako nang malakas nang walang pag-aalinlangan na ipinutok niya ang baril.

My whole body trembled with fear when the thief collapsed on the floor, lifeless. Mabilis na kumalat ang dugo nito sa sahig.

Zakarius… Zakarius killed him, Zakarius shoot the man’s head without any hesitation.

Zakarius is a killer.

Chapter Four

I couldn’t how long I’ve been quiet while hugging my legs. My whole body is still trembling with fear. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong maramdaman, Zakarius came and saved me… But he killed the man, he killed him without a blink of an eye.

“You should’ve controlled yourself, Zakarius. That woman still looks horrified. You’d never been this careless before,” someone said. I don’t know who he is, but he’s with Cadence.

“Same thoughts, Arken. Zakarius got no chill this time,” Cadence remarked.

I remained silent and still trembling with fear. Wala na ang bangkay ng lalaki rito pati na rin ang dugo nito sa sahig dahil inasikaso na ni Cadence at ng lalaking kasama niya. But I’m still terrified, I won’t be able to forget that scene forever, it will hunt me in my sleep. Yes, he harassed me, but he just died in front me for heaven’s sake!

“We’ll go ahead, Zak. Ikaw na ang bahala sa kanya,” sabi ni Cadence at lumabas na kasama ang lalaking kasama niya.

Naiwan na ulit kami ni Zakarius dito. I didn’t look at him, I can’t look at him right now after what happened. What happened tonight is too much to bear for me. This is the first time I saw someone who had been killed in front of my very eyes.

After deep thoughts, I gained my courage and look at him. Nagtayuan ang mga balahibo ko nang mapansing nakatingin din siya sa ’kin. As usual, there’s no emotion in those blue eyes. Walang pagsisisi, walang takot.

“W-why did you kill him, Zakarius? You killed someone for fuck’s sake! Ni hindi ka man lang nakonsensya, h-how… How did you manage to stay calm and cool as if killing someone is not a big deal to you? Fuck it, Zakarius. Fuck you!”

I don’t know how I managed to curse at him and act tough after what happened. It’s just, I can’t believe it. I was literally shocked, hindi ko magawang kumalma. Zakarius, my best friend’s boyfriend is a killer, and I’m here inside a killer’s house. How can I calm down?

“I already killed lots of people, others are worse than that. Sometimes, I’ll torture them first before killing them, and yes, I’m a killer. I kill people to get what I want, to achieve what I want to achieve… But don’t get me wrong, woman. I don’t, and I will never kill innocent people,” he explained and took a step forward. Agad akong sumiksik sa sulok ng couch upang lumayo sa kanya.

“H-how did that thief manage to enter here? You have high walls a-and… and everything,” I muttered.

Zakarius sighed.

“This is not the first time this shit happened. Expert thieves with appropriate tools can pass over the wall. My security system isn’t that tight since I live alone and I can protect myself. I’m sorry for forgetting that you’re here now. I should’ve hired some guards and tighten the security. I’ll promise this will never happen again.”

I remained silent. I gulped and bit the insides of my cheeks.

“Is that the reason why Jaze left? She discovered about this? Nalaman niya na pumapatay ka ng tao, k-kaya ba siya nawala?” tanong ko saka tumingin sa asul niyang mga mata.

He became silent for a few minutes while I was staring intently at him, waiting for his answer.

“Yes, Jaze discovered that I’m a killer that’s why she left… Natatakot siya sa ’kin,” he answered and turned his gaze away from me.

I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes tightly. So that’s the reason? I can’t blame her, I can’t blame Jaze for doing that. Kung ako ang nasa posisyon niya ay matatakot din ako at madidismaya. The man he loved for how many years is a ferocious killer. That probably broke her heart into pieces.

“Now, I can’t blame her for disappearing just like that,” I murmured.

Parehas kaming natahimik ni Zak. The atmosphere between us is awkward. I don’t know if I can still boss him around, paano kung mapikon siya at barilin niya rin ako?

But he said he doesn’t kill innocent people.

I shook my head at the sudden thought in my mind. Why am I defending him? He’s a killer, he doesn’t deserve to be defended in any way. Why is there something inside me that defends him?

“I want to sleep,” I mumbled and stood up. My knees are still trembling but I did my best to stand up and walk away from him.

“Ouch!” Napasigaw ako nang tuluyang bumigay ang mga tuhod ko at napaupo sa sahig.

I bit my lower lip and immediately checked my knees, laking pasasalamat ko nang hindi naman ’yon nagkasugat.

Natigilan ako nang makitang lumapit sa ’kin si Zakarius saka yumuko at binuhat ako. My hands move on its own and clung on his nape. I immediately turned my gaze away from him when our eyes met. I can feel something in my stomach that I couldn’t explain, especially when his calloused hands touched my exposed waist and soft arm. I felt electrified, I can feel electricity gushing through my veins when our skins touched. It feels like my soft body belongs to his hard one. Bakit ko ba ’to nararamdaman? Did I eat too much fruits or what? Maybe I’m still terrified about what happened, maybe that’s why.

“Put me down, I can walk on my own,” I hissed. I’m still not looking at him, I can’t look at him for some unknown reason.

“You can’t,” he responded. Umakyat siya ng hagdan habang buhat pa rin ako. I just remained silent and stopped struggling, baka malaglag pa ako rito.

I took a glimpse of him, there’s no emotions in his eyes.

Binuksan na ni Zakarius ang pinto ng silid ko nang makarating kami ro’n. Dahan dahan niya akong ibinaba sa kama. I didn’t say anything, and I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m starting to be comfortable with him but shit happened, and he killed someone in front of me. I don’t know how to act in front of him now. I’m kinda scared of him, who wouldn’t be? He may be one of the most handsome and attractive man alive but he’s still a killer. I never imagined being involved with a killer before…and I don’t wanna be involved with them anyway.

Hindi nagsalita si Zakarius at basta na lang lumabas ng silid ko. Nanghihinang napahiga ako sa kama nang makaalis na siya. I felt weak, all over. I couldn’t even move my fingers, nanghihina ang buong katawan ko.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself, and my rapid heartbeat. How am I going to sleep peacefully now? After what I saw… after what I discovered about Zakarius?

I did my best to stand up, I’m so drained but I need to take a shower. I hope it helps in relaxing my mind. I just need to stop thinking about it, about the man who died in front of me. Right, I’m just a weak woman earlier, I can’t do anything to save him for I was shocked too. Right, it’s not my fault. Angelica, it’s not your fault.

Simpleng pares ng pantulog na lang ang sinuot ko matapos kong maligo. Tila wala rin akong buhay habang nakatingin sa salamin at ginagawa ang skin care routine ko. I can’t stop thinking about what happened, it still haunts me. This night is too much to bear, I was harassed by a thief and that thief was killed in front of me. I don’t know what to do to ease my mind.

I stopped from combing my hair when I heard a knock on the door. I sighed and stood up. What does he need? I don’t want to see him right now.

Even though I don’t want to see Zakarius, I still opened the door for him. I’m sure he has a key to this room anyway, so what’s the point?

“What do you need?” I asked and raised my eyebrow at him. Even after what happened, I will never show him that I’m scared nor intimidated… Well, I’ll try my best to do so.

Inabutan niya ako ng paper bag. Kinuha ko ’yon mula sa kanya at tiningnan ang laman no’n.

Blower?

“I bought a new TV, it’s way bigger this time. You can watch yourself clearly there,” he mumbled. His voice is so faint that I almost couldn’t hear it.

I honestly don’t know what to say or to react. Should I say thank you or what?

“Good night,” I said and instantly closed the door.

I bit my lower lip and hugged the blower. My heartbeat is not normal right now. Why am I reacting like this when I should not? Nothing, maybe I’m still scared of him. Maybe that’s why.

HINDI ako nakatulog nang ayos kagabi. Siguro ay wala pa sa apat na oras ang tulog ko.

I stepped out my room after taking a bath. I just wore a simple blouse and jogging pants with a very minimal make up, I don’t have much energy today, and I don’t know how long will it take since I couldn’t get last night happenings off my mind.

Natigilan ako nang makababa ng hagdan. The design of the living room changed, from the carpet, the couch, everything changed. Pati ang pwesto ng couch at TV ay nagbago na. I smiled a little, it seems like Zakarius is not that heartless jerk after all. I judged him too much. But he’s still a killer, a dangerous killer.

I sat on the couch and opened the TV. The TV is twice larger than the last one, I couldn’t help but to smile. Am I really a hostage here? Lahat ng sabihin ko ay sinusunod niya. Zakarius is an oddball to the highest degree.

I want to open Zakarius’ phone and see my social media accounts but I don’t want to talk to Chan and Cassian right now. Paniguradong sesermunan lang nila ako dahil wala na naman ako sa shooting. Buti na lang talaga at wala akong tinanggap na teleserye ngayon. Right now, I have a lot of product endorsement and a romance-action movie with a famous but arrogant actor, I forgot his name. Iyon lang muna ang tinanggap kong role sa ngayon dahil tinatamad pa ’ko.

I cooked fried chicken for my lunch, papapakin ko na lang iyon dahil tinatamad akong magluto ng kanin, besides I can’t cook rice perfectly without rice cooker. Bakit ba walang rice cooker dito?

I stopped from eating fried chicken when I heard steps from the living room. Panic rushed through my system. I immediately hide under the table, while I’m still holding the plate with fried chickens.

Mauulit na naman ba ang nangyari kagabi?

Napahawak ako nang mahigpit sa plato. Ipupukpok ko na lang itong plato sa ulo ng magnanakaw kung sakali. Sisiguraduhin kong malakas ’yon.

I gulped when someone entered the kitchen. I bit my lower lip and tried to fight my fear and nervousness. I should be strong in this situation because I’m all alone here.

“What are you doing there?”

I gasped in pure shock when I saw Zakarius looking at me. Nakayuko siya habang nakatingin sa ’kin na nasa ilalim pa rin ng mesa.

Dali dali akong umalis sa ilalim ng mesa. I cleared my throat and fixed myself. I can feel that my cheeks are crimson red now because of embarrassment. Bakit kailangan niya pa akong makita sa gano’ng sitwasyon?

Fucking

embarrassing to the highest degree!

“I just want to. It was fun,” I murmured and turned my gaze away from him.

Umupo na lang ulit ako sa upuan at muling kumain ng chicken. He will forget about that ‘under the table’ scene eventually. Stop thinking about it!

I didn’t bother to say anything. Kung hindi lang nangyari ang kagabi ay baka kung ano-ano na ang pinagsasabi at ni-request ko sa kanya. I feel somewhat uncomfortable around him now.

Uminom siya ng tubig saka hinugasan ang basong ginamit niya. He’s wearing his usual attire, siguro papasok na siya sa trabaho.

“Do you need something?” he asked and looked at me. I just shook my head as my respond. Actually I need new sets of make up, but no, I will fight this feeling. I won’t talk to him until I’m finally comfortable with him.

“Do you want to go out?”

My eyes widened with his remark. I looked at him with disbelief. Agad kong ininom ang tubig na nasa mesa saka pinakalma ang paghinga ko.

Maybe he’s just kidding or playing with me, pero na-excite pa rin ako. Pero hindi dapat ako magpadala sa excitement, maybe this is just a prank or what, uso pa naman ’yon ngayon.

“You have a shoot, right? Do you wanna go out?” he asked once again.

I can’t take my eyes off him, I don’t want to believe him but my heart is hoping that he’s not kidding. I bit my lower lip and nodded. Bahala na kung prank lang ’to.

“Get ready, wear a jacket and face mask so that people won’t recognize you.”

Right, magiging issue pa kapag nakita ng mga tao na kasama ko siya. He’s a well-known movie director. Many people recognize him.

Hindi ko na ako sumagot sa sinabi niya at dali daling tumakbo papuntang kwarto ko. Mabagal talaga akong maghanda kapag ganito, but I’ll try my best to prepare faster. He might change his mind, mahirap na.

I just took a fast shower and brushed my teeth. Usually, I do skin care routine first before going on a shoot but I didn’t bother to do so this time.

I wore a black see-through chiffon blouse and I wore a black tube inside. I paired it with white boot cut pants and black wedge heels. I put a minimal make up and wore my large jacket. Naglagay na rin ako ng face mask gaya ng sinabi ni Zakarius kahit hindi ako comfortable na magsuot no’n.

“Please, I hope Zakarius is still here,” bulong ko nang makalabas ako ng silid ko.

I will literally crush his whole existence if he was just playing with me. I swear, I’ll kick his balls!

“What took you so long?”

I smiled widely when I saw Zakarius waiting for me at the living room while sitting on the couch. His forehead’s creased, but still no emotion in his eyes. Mukhang pinaghintay ko nga siya nang matagal.

“Let’s go,” he said and stood up. I quietly followed him, fighting the urge to smile like an idiot.

Nakahanda na ang kotse niya nang makalabas kami ng bahay, lalo akong na-excite. In my estimation, it has been two to three days since he kidnapped me, but for me, it felt like three years.

We’re both quiet inside the car, but my knees are shaking because of excitement. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakain ni Zakarius at pinayagan niya akong lumabas.

But of course, tatakas na ako sa kanya pagkatapos nito ’no. Hindi ako gano’ng ka-tanga para bumalik pa sa mala-presong bahay ni Zakarius.

My lips parted when I saw the gate of this prison-like house. The gate automatically opened but unlike other gates, this gate is made of thick steel, his gate is consists of pure steel only. Hindi mo talaga makikita ang nasa labas dahil walang butas unlike other gates which is weird. I think the high walls in this place are weird too. Wala naman kami sa Attack on Titan, para saan ang mga pader na nakapaligid sa bahay ni Zakarius?

I chose to stay silent during the ride. I’ll be a good girl to him this time, only this time because he let me go outside. I won’t annoy him too much.

Nakarating din kami sa agency makalipas ang ilang minuto. I can feel butterflies in my stomach when I saw the tall building.

I looked at Zakarius and bit my lower lip, trying to find the right words to say to him. Of course I won’t thank him, he kidnapped me in the first place… What should I say then?

“Can I go now?” I asked and smiled awkwardly at him.

He just nodded. Zakarius is really a man of few words. How did he manage to become a successful director with that attitude? I suddenly want to work with him and see him act like a director.

“Babalik ka sa ’kin.”

Nagtayuan ang mga balahibo ko sa sinabi niya. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at tila hindi makapaniwalang napatingin sa kanya. He remained emotionless while staring at me. The words he said earlier echoed in my mind once again, his deep but sexy voice lingered in my mind.

Babalik ka sa ’kin.

Bakit iba ang meaning no’n para sa ’kin?

“W-whatever,” mahinang usal ko na lang at agad na lumabas ng kotse niya.

I fixed my face mask and walked inside the building. My heart is still fluttering like crazy. I just shook my head and tried to get that off my mind. Why am I being like this?

What the fuck are you thinking, Angel?

“Angelica Louise Calderon Mendoza!”

I closed my eyes tightly when I heard Cassian’s voice. Damn him, I told him not to call me by my fucking whole name. sighed and turned my gaze at him. Damn, Chan is with him. Double kill.

“You… You bitch, kung hindi lang talaga malaking pera ang pinapasok mo sa agency, naku!” nanggagalaiting sabi ni Cassian na halos tirisin na ako sa inis.

“Hindi magandang biro ’yon, Angel. Pinag-alala mo kami,” seryosong sabi ni Chan.

“Sorry, okay? Something just came up. I’m here now, h’wag niyo na akong sermunan,” I said and rolled my eyes at them.

“You have lots to do for today, Angel. Get ready,” Cassian warned me.

Damn, I missed this.

---

“I’m tired as fuck,” I murmured. I massaged my temple, I don’t have energy to do anything now. Gusto ko na lang mahiga agad.

“Didiretso ka na ba sa bahay mo, Angel?” tanong ni Chan nang makasakay sa van.

Biglang pumasok si Zakarius sa isip ko… Nevermind, I have my own house and I won’t let him take me again.

“Chan, bakit hindi mo pa pinapaandar ang van?!” I shouted and kicked his seat. Gustong gusto ko ng magpahinga.

“Angel, kasi… Si Director Cavalcante, nakaharang siya sa daraanan natin.”

My eyes widened and looked at the front. Chan’s right, Zakarius is literally blocking our way himself. Had he gone mad?!

Isinuot ko ang face mask ko at agad na lumabas, may mga fans din na palaging nakabantay rito sa parking lot, mahirap na.

Lumapit ako kay Zakarius at tinaasan siya ng kilay. He remained emotionless while staring at me, we’re just a meter away from each other. I sighed and put my hands on my waist.

“Zakarius, let’s stop this kidnapping shit. Kakalimutan ko na ang lahat ng ginawa mo at ang ginawa mong… pagpatay. So please, let’s stop this now. Let’s just find Jaze in our own ways and–”

Hindi ko natapos ang sasabihin ko nang hawakan niya ang palapulsuhan ko at hinila ako papalapit sa kanya.

My eyes widened and my heart is now beating faster than usual. I don’t know why but my whole body instantly shivered when our skin touched. He held my back and pulled me closer to him.

“Z-Zakarius…”

He removed my face mask and stared intensely at me, it may be weird but it feels like my whole body is burning because of his blue eyes that scream unknown emotion I couldn’t explain.

Tila nawalan ako ng pakialam sa paligid habang nakikipaglabanan ng titig sa kanya. Alam kong may mga nakakakita sa ’min ngayon pero tila nawala ang mga ’yon sa isip ko.

He touched my cheek and gently caressed it while he was looking into my eyes, as if he owns me… my body and soul.

“Jaze will come out this way, she gets jealous easily… You’re worried about her, right? Why don’t we help each other to find her in my way? Be my hostage, be with me.”

Chapter Five

I know this is foolish and crazy, and I bet Chan was shocked as hell with what he saw earlier. I’ll just explain to him later. Pero ang isa sa mga pinag-aalala ko ay ang mga nakakita ng tagpo kanina.

Ano ba kasi ang trip nitong si Zakarius at umeksena ng gano’n? Is he that desperate to find Jaze? That he didn’t mind having a chaotic issue with me? I thought he wants a peaceful life as a director that’s why he doesn’t attend award shows and rarely show himself in the public… Well, whatever. To be honest, I’m more confused with myself right now.

Bakit ako sumama sa kanya?!

“Zakarius, you should be aware that what you had done will cause a big issue. Why the hell did you do that corny and creepy–whatsoever earlier?! Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait?”  I asked frantically and threw my sling bag on the couch.

Ako yata talaga ang nasisiraan ng bait sa aming dalawa dahil sumama ako sa kanya. Well, I’m not in my right mind right now. Maybe he just… he just put spells on me or what. This is not me, Zakarius ‘fucking’ Cavalcante cursed me!

“I told you earlier, we’re doing this for Jaze. I thought you already agreed since you’re here in my house again… willingly this time,” he said while he was removing his black leather jacket.

I turned my gaze away from him when I saw his muscled arms again. He really looks ten times better without his leather jacket. His body is perfectly built that I can’t take my eyes of it most of the time… What the hell am I thinking right now?

“I’m just tired, okay? Wala na akong choice kundi ang sumama sa ’yo because I’m really tired. Wala na akong energy makipag-argue sa ’yo,” I said and raised my eyebrow.

“Okay,” tipid na sabi niya at umakyat na lang sa hagdan at iniwan ako sa sala.

I bit my lower lip and stomped my feet on the floor. Damn that man. Matapos-tapos niya akong dalhin dito basta na lang niya akong lalayasan. He’s bwisit to the highest degree!

Nagpunta na lang ako sa kwarto ko para magshower. The shooting drained my energy but Zakarius drained it more. Halos wala na siyang itinirang enerhiya sa pagkatao ko dahil sa mga pinaggagawa niya.

After taking a shower, I wore my white nightgown and did my skin care routine. I missed my vanity mirror at home, I should tell Zakarius about that too… But wait, why do I have to? I’m not living here for fuck’s sake.

I sat on the bed and took my phone on the bedside table. Good thing Zakarius finally gave me my phone.

Agad kong binuksan ang twitter account ko, and as I expected I’m on the trending tweets right now. Kahit sa facebook at instagram ay kumalat ang picture namin ni Zak sa parking lot. Sabi na nga ba at may paparazzi ro’n kanina.

I just shrugged and read popular opinions about Zakarius and I weird dating scandal.

Angel Mendoza is dating a well-known movie director?

Angel Mendoza has a good taste. Lol, crush ko si Director Zakarius Cavalcante. Pighati crying emoji

It’s her life, she can date whoever she wants. Tao rin naman siya at nai-in love.

In my opinion, maghiwalay na lang sila. Lol. Director Cavalcante is too reserved for Angel Mendoza. Angel got into a lot of dating scandals and has an attitude problem. Nah, he doesn’t deserve her.

I bit my lower lip when my phone rang. I closed my eyes tightly when I saw Cassian’s name on the caller ID. I just sighed and answered his call. Damn it.

“What the hell are you thinking, Angelica Louise?!”

Agad kong inilayo ang cellphone sa tainga ko nang sumigaw si Cassian. Akala ko mababasag ang eardrum ko sa lakas ng boses niya.

“Don’t shout at me! Ang sakit mo sa tainga!” ganting sigaw ko at napairap kahit hindi niya ako nakikita.

“Ikaw na babae ka, pinapasakit mo talaga lagi ang ulo ko! Bakit hindi mo man lang sinabi sa ’kin na nagde-date kayo ni Direk?! Sinasabi ko sa ’yo, pilitin mo siya na kuhanin kang artista sa movies niya. Magjowa naman pala kayo, e. Bakit hindi niya–” I cut him off immediately.

“No, we’re not dating, Cassian. It’s just a misunderstanding and don’t call me again! I’m tired. Ikaw na ang bahalang umayos ng issue ko ngayon, bye,” I said and instantly ended the call.

Napailing na lang ako at muling tumingin ng comments. Some of them are positive comments but there negative ones too. Buti na lang talaga at sanay na ako sa ganyan. I have a lot of bashers too because of my attitude problem. Madalas talaga ay hindi ko nakokontrol ang sarili ko sa mga bagay bagay lalo na ang pagmamaldita ko.

I just shrugged my shoulders and decided to go out of my room. I suddenly want to eat fruits. Naii-stress ako sa mga nangyayari simula ng guluhin ng Zakarius na ’yon ang buhay ko.

Natigilan ako nang makarinig ng sunod-sunod na putok ng baril sa living room. I immediately rushed to the living room to see what’s happening. Is there a thief again or what?

My forehead creased when I saw Zakarius standing on the couch, sahig ang pinapuputukan niya ng baril. Ano’ng nangyayari sa lalaking ’to?

“Zakarius!” I shouted and walk to his direction. He didn’t bother to look at me and continued firing on the floor with his gun. What the hell is his problem?!

Medyo lumayo ako sa pwesto niya dahil baka tamaan pa ako ng bala niya. I sighed and closed my eyes tightly. I took a deep breath to prepare myself.

“Zakarius ‘fucking’ Cavalcante! What the fuck are you doing?!” I shouted and gave him a deadly stare.

Natigilan naman si Zakarius sa pagbaril sa sahig at napatingin sa ’kin.

“Don’t bother me, there’s a cockroach,” he said and pointed the floor.

My lips parted and blinked thrice with his remark. I took a deep breath once again to calm myself. Is he fucking serious?!

“You’re being like that… because of a cockroach?” I asked in disbelief.

Hindi niya ako pinansin at muling pinaputukan ang sahig. Napatili ako at napatakip sa tainga ko dahil sa gulat.

“Zakarius! Stop! Stop it!” I shouted and stomped my feet on the floor.

Zakarius stopped firing his gun and sighed. I immediately ran to his direction and look for the cockroach. Napailing na lang ako nang makita ang kawawang ipis sa ilalim ng mini table.

“Shoo, go away, run for your life,” I murmured and gently kicked the cockroach. Agad namang tumakbo ang ipis.

“That fucking cockroach,” Zakarius murmured and he was about to point his gun at it but I immediately stopped him.

“For heaven’s sake Zakarius! Ipis lang ’yan! Wala ka ngang pakialam sa ahas, e. Ipis lang ’yan, hindi ka naman kakainin nang buo niyan!” naiinis na sabi ko at tiningnan siya nang masama.

I held Zakarius’ hand and pulled him down from the couch. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko nang mapagtantong nasa itaas pa talaga siya ng couch habang binabaril ang kawawang ipis.

“Takot ka ba sa ipis?” natatawang tanong ko nang makababa na siya sa couch.

“I’m not afraid of anything, but cockroaches are filthy. I hate them,” he said in a cold tone and put his gone back in his pocket. I bit my lower lip again to stop myself from laughing.

I couldn’t believe someone like him is afraid of cockroaches. He can kill someone without a blink of an eye… tapos takot siya sa ipis? My goodness, Zakarius Cavalcante is surprising me in his own ways.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m not afraid, I’m just disgusted,” he said, defending himself.

Natatawang nagtungo na lang ako sa kusina. Habang buhay ko yatang maaalala ang tagpong ’yon sa buhay ko. Zakarius tried to kill a cockroach using his gun while he was on top of the couch, like a scared cat. Damn, I should have took a picture of that. Sayang.

Zakarius followed me in the kitchen. I took my fruits in the ref and sat on the chair. Pasimple akong tumingin kay Zakarius na kumuha ng meat sa ref. I noticed that Zakarius is a meat and fish lover. I think he rarely eats fruits and vegetables. Nakakapagtaka lang because he’s in a good shape, I mean, he’s body is still in a good shape even though he always eat meat. Siguro binabawi lang talaga niya sa exercise.

I was just staring at his back while he was cooking. Kumagat ako sa strawberry ko nang maamoy ko ang niluluto niya. Nagluluto ba siya ng steak? Damn, my fucking favorite.

No, hindi dapat ako magpaakit sa amoy no’n. Hindi ako nakain ng meat sa gabi at paninindigan ko ’yon.

Zakarius sat in front of me after cooking the steak. I cleared my throat and turned my gaze away from him. Kumain na lang ako ng strawberry. Strawberry is way better, Angel. Right.

“Do you want steak?” Zakarius asked while he was slicing the yummy and juicy steak.

“No, I only eat fruits and vegetables,” I said and rolled my eyes at him. He just shrugged and eat the steak in front of me.

I gulped and looked at him while he was chewing the steak. His jaw looks sexy while eating, and damn, the steak looks good and delicious. Why is he seducing me with my favorite food?

“Are you sure you don’t want this?” he asked once again and pointed his steak.

“Oo nga! H’wag ka ng magtanong nang magtanong,” naiiritang sikmat ko saka sumubo ng cherry.

“Okay,” he said and continued eating his steak.

Hindi ako mapakali dahil napapatingin ako sa kinakain niya. Pupunta na lang ako sa kuwarto ko para hindi na ako ma-torture nang ganito.

“Zakarius,” I mumbled and bit my lower lip.

Zakarius looked at me and raised his eyebrow. I sighed and rolled my eyes, damn it.

“Fine, I want steak.”

I can’t believe I gave up just like that. I’m determined to go to my room earlier but the steak is seducing me with its smell. This is all Zakarius’ fault!

Zakarius remained silent and gave his plate to me. Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko at tinikman ang steak. Pakiramdam ko nagkantahan ang mga anghel sa langit nang tikman ko ’yon.

Damn this steak, so fucking good.

Zakarius stood up and leaned closer to me. My eyes widened, my pulse raced when our faces are just few inches away from each other. I inhaled deeply, trying to stop myself from breathing.

Zakarius took a piece of strawberry from my fruits and took a bite while he was staring at me. I blinked twice, my heart is not in its normal pace, it’s beating crazily as if it wants to go out of my ribcage.

His blue eyes are making my whole body tremble with unknown emotion. I felt that my cheeks are literally burning right now. My eyes go down and looked at his sexy lips while he was nibbling the strawberry. Nanunuyo ang lalamunan ko habang nakatingin do’n.

“Why do you like this so much? It’s fucking sour,” sabi niya saka lumayo na sa ’kin. Tila nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang makalayo na siya. I didn’t know how long I stopped myself from breathing.

I clasped my chest when he finally left the kitchen. I licked my lower lip and tried to calm myself. What the hell? Why am I being like this towards him? What is he doing to me?

---

“No, Zakarius. Hindi mo ako ihahatid sa agency, I’ll go there on my own,” I said and glared at him.

“Just wear a mask, I’ll go there anyway. I have something to talk about with Cassian. We’ll go there together,” he said while he was tousling his hair. I just rolled my eyes and stomped my feet.

“No! Just let me borrow one of your cars. Nakita ko sa likod, ang dami mong kotse, I want the red one,” I demanded and crossed my arms over my chest.

Zakarius didn’t say anything. Napaawang ang mga labi ko nang lumabas siya ng bahay at iniwan na lang akong basta.

“Damn you, Zakarius,” I mumbled and followed him.

Wala na akong nagawa kundi ang sumakay sa kotse niya nang sumakay siya ro’n. Walang hiya talaga ang lalaking ’to, ginagawa niya ang gusto niya palagi.

I just wore my shades and combed my hair using my fingers. Hindi tuloy ako nakapagpaganda nang bongga dahil parang may lakad itong si Zak at pinagmamadali akong maigi.

I’m just wearing a white tiered long sleeve mini smock dress, I paired it with black knee high platform boots. Kung hindi niya lang sana ako minadali, baka mas bongga pa rito ang suot ko. He’s annoying to the highest degree.

Nakarating din kami sa Aingeal Agency makalipas ang ilang minuto. Sa VIP parking space nagpark si Zakarius para walang masyadong tao.

I immediately get off his car. I fixed my long hair bago pumasok sa loob. The guards greeted me as well as the other employees, I just gave them my toothpaste-like commercial smile. I waved my hips confidently as I walk inside the building. Hindi ko alam kung nakasunod ba sa ’kin si Zakarius at wala akong pakialam, bahala siya sa buhay niya.

I go straight to Cassian’s office. Naabutan ko siya na may kausap sa telepono habang hinihilot ang sentido niya. I just smiled sweetly at him when he turned his gaze at me and sat on the couch. Pumasok din si Zakarius sa opisina ni Cassian, I removed my shades and rolled my eyes at him.

“Let’s just wait for their respond, okay? Bye!” Cassian ended the call with whoever he was talking to.

Cassian seems so stressed out, he’s always stressed out when it comes to me anyway. Hindi pa ba siya nasasanay?

“Direk, pasensya na sa abala at pinapunta kita rito,” sabi ni Cassian at tumayo pa saka iginiya si Zakarius paupo sa couch. Muli akong napairap. What’s so special about Zakarius? Takot naman siya sa ipis.

“It’s fine, what are we going to talk about?” Zakarius asked, emotionless, as usual.

“Direk, aminin mo nga sa ’kin, ginulo ka ba ni Angel kaya kayo na-issue? Angel can be prideful sometimes, hindi niya matanggap na hindi mo siya kinukuhang artista sa mga palabas mo ni isang beses. Kung ano man ang ginawa sa ’yo ni Angel, ako na ang humihingi ng tawad. I’m sure na siya ang may kasalanan sa nangyari, I know you’re aware that she has an attitude problem and–”

“The fuck, Cassian?!” I asked in disbelief and threw him the pillow beside me. “Hindi ako ang may kasalanan dito kundi ang lalaking ’yan! He was the cause of that stupid dating scandal! Bakit ako ang sinisisi mo?!”

I can’t believe him, parang gusto ko tuloy i-terminate ang kontrata ko sa Aingeal agency sa sobrang inis ko.

“So, direk, ano ba ang plano niyo ni Angel? Nagtatanong na ang mga tao, e,” Cassian said and scratched his nape. Ni hindi niya man lang pinansin ang pagwawala ko rito.

“Just tell the media that Director Cavalcante offered me to be the star of his new movie and we’re not dating!” I shouted and stomped my feet.

“Direk, ang sasabihin mo ang mahalaga. H’wag mong pansinin ang babaeng ’yan,” pambabalewala ni Cassian sa sinabi ko.

I groaned and threw another pillow at him. Damn this man, sana ay hindi na siya makapag-asawa habang buhay!

“Tell the media that I offered her a role in my new movie. Her suggestion isn’t that bad,” Zakarius said. I smirked and raised my eyebrow at Cassian.

“That’s a good idea, Director. We’ll go with that,” Cassian said and clapped his hands.

My lips parted in disbelief with his remark. Walang hiya talaga ang Cassian na ’to!

IT’S ALREADY 11 pm but I’m still reading the comments about my agency’s respond on my dating scandal with Zakarius.

Good thing that most of the feedbacks are positive. Siguro inayusan ni Cassian pang-uuto sa media, doon naman siya magaling.

Lumabas na lang ako ng kuwarto pagkatapos kong magbasa ng comments. I can’t sleep, I’ll just drink warm water.

Natigilan ako nang makita ko si Zakarius na nakaupo sa upuan at naka-ub-ob sa mesa ang ulo. Is he sleeping? Why the hell is he sleeping here in the dining area?

Lumapit ako sa kanya at umupo sa tabi niya. Nagdadalawang-isip ako kung gigisingin ko siya o hindi.

I was taken aback when he suddenly stood up. Napatingin ako sa mukha niya at gano’n na lang ang gulat ko nang makitang nakapikit pa rin siya.

Oh my goodness, is he sleepwalking?

Zakarius started mumbling something I couldn’t understand while his eyes are still closed. Tumayo ako at sinubukang amuyin kung lasing ba siya o ano, pero hindi naman siya amoy alak.

My goodness, Zakarius is a sleepwalker… Nagsasalita rin siya kapag tulog.

I covered my mouth to stop myself from giggling. I don’t want to wake him up, I still want to see this weird side of him.

Akmang maglalakad na palayo si Zakarius pero agad kong nahawakan ang kamay niya. Iginiya ko siya paupo sa upuan at dahan-dahang in-ub-ob ang ulo niya sa mesa.

“Baka naman kung saan ka mapunta,” bulong ko na lang.

Zakarius started murmuring something again. I just smiled and stared at his cute sleeping face. I didn’t know he can be this cute.

Pakiramdam ko kusang gumalaw ang kamay ko upang hawakan ang buhok niya. Just like I expected, his hair is soft, it feels good to touch and caress.

Um-ub-ob din ako at tinitigan ang mukha niya. His long eyelashes are to die for, I didn’t know that a man with long and curly eyeslashes can be this attractive, but still managed to look manly. His thin and pinkish lips is slightly pouted, it makes him cuter.

I was taken aback when I noticed that my heart is pounding faster than usual while staring at him. Agad akong napatunghay at napaiwas ng tingin sa kanya.

What the fuck am I doing to my best friend’s boyfriend? Hindi ko dapat nararamdaman ’to, hindi dapat.

It feels like I’m betraying Jaze… this is not right.

Chapter Six

Avoid him, don’t talk to him, Angel.

How can I avoid Zakariu if I’m currently staying here in his house? What if I leave? Hahayaan niya ba akong umalis? I know him, he will blackmail me using his gun or he will use Jaze an an excuse. Why does he need me here anyway? Ano ba ang dulot ko sa pagsulpot ni Jaze? I don’t understand his point at all, and I don’t understand myself too.

After taking a bath, dumiretso agad ako sa kusina para uminom ng warm water. I was taken aback when I saw Zakarius there, sitting on his usual spot and eating his favorite breakfast, toasted bread and coffee. I just shrugged and didn’t say anything. Kumuha ako ng baso at naglagay ng warm water doon. I can feel that Zakarius is stealing glances at me, but chose not to say anything. The atmosphere between us is awkward, it’s maybe because I’m not bugging him nor talking to him.

“Uuwi na ’ko bukas sa bahay ko, and you can’t stop me,” I said and gritted my teeth. I looked at Zakarius, he remained emotionless, I’m not surprised.

Tumayo si Zakarius at lumapit sa ’kin, but not that close. We’re still one meter apart from each other. He looked at me with serious look in his eyes. I can’t bear the intensity of it.

“Is there a problem? You’ve been like this since yesterday,” he said while he was looking straighly in my eyes. I turned my gaze away from him.

“I have my own house. Don’t scare me with your devilish shit again because I’m not scared of you. Nagsasayang lang tayo ng oras pareho ng oras, Zak. Let’s just stop this play and get back to our normal lives, I, being an actress and you, being a director or killer or whatever the hell you are. This is not working, Zakarius. This won’t bring Jaze back, we’re just wasting our time.” I sighed and put my hand on my waist.

Zak remained silent while staring at me. I honestly don’t know what to feel right now because I can’t read what’s going on in his mind. Why does he have to be so mysterious? Even his facial expressions are mysterious that I couldn’t read them, and it’s so frustrating.

“You can’t stop me, Zak. Didiretso na ako sa bahay pagkatapos ng shooting. Don’t bother me again, please.”

Hindi na ako naghintay na sumagot siya at agad na umalis ng kusina saka nagtungo sa silid ko.

I don’t know why my heart feels heavy, I just stayed here for a couple of days for heaven’s sake. I should stop this before it gets out of hand. I should stop the unknown growing feelings inside me that I should not feel.

Being with Zakarius is fatal, it will ruin me, it will ruin the friendship I have with Jaze. She’s so important to me, she’s like a sister to me. I won’t let a man, a dangerously handsome, fierce but cute man, ruin our friendship.

---

“Photoshoot muna tayo saka magsisimula ang shooting, Angel. Bawal kang magreklamo dahil ang tagal mong nawala,” sabi ni Cassian saka pinaningkitan ako ng mga mata. Napairap na lang ako.

“Cassian, almost three days lang akong nawala. Sabihin mo kay direk na bukas na lang simulan ang shooting ng scene. I need to take a rest too,” I said and closed my eyes while my personal make up artist is working on my make up. I want to go home immediately after the photoshoot.

Pinuntahan ni Cassian ang direktor at kinausap. I know someday, this bitchy attitude of mine will bring me down, but the hell I care.

“Angel, direk wants to shoot some scenes now. Wala ka ng magagawa,” Cassian said and sat beside me. I just rolled my eyes and groaned. Damn it.

Wala na akong nagawa dahil baka mapikon na rin talaga si direk sa ’kin.

Castor Raven is my partner in the movie. He’s a handsome and good actor, he’s professional too, we almost dated before but it didn’t work. He’s a good guy but I really feel nothing about him. I don’t want to settle in that kind of relationship. Magkaibigan naman kami ngayon, he knows my real attitude, he tried to ask me out again last month but I declined. Our loveteam have a strong fanbase, kaya marami ring negative comments noong lumabas ang dating scandal namin ni Zak.

“Are you ready?” Castor asked and smiled at me. I gave him a smirk and removed my coat.

Nakasuot ako ngayon ng leather jacket at leather pants na medyo sira sira, Castor is topless while wearing a ripped pants. We’re currently working on a romance-action movie. Kaya medyo ganito ang datingan naming dalawa.

“Angel, Castor, hold your guns tightly, magtalikuran kayo. Don’t forget the fierce look, okay? Let’s start,” the photographer announced and started taking pictures of us.

Iba’t ibang pose ang ginawa namin ni Castor. Smooth naman ang naging photoshoot dahil komportable na kami ni Castor sa isa’t isa. Mabilis natapos ang photoshoot. My stylist chose set of clothes for me to wear and after that, my make up artist started fixing my make up again.

“Oh my God! Good thing you came, Director Cavalvante!”

Natigilan ako nang marinig ang sinabing ’yon ni Cassian. My eyes widened when I saw Zakarius talking with Cassian from afar. What the hell is he doing here?!

Natigilan ako nang mapansing papunta sila sa direksyon ko. I straightened my back and act cool as if I don’t give a fuck about him. Well, I really don’t give a fuck about him. So why do I need to act like I don’t? Damn, am I making any sense?

“Angel, I invited Director Cavalcante to watch your shoot for today para makita niya ang talent mo. It’s a good thing para rin makita niya kung paano ka umarte. I hope I didn’t bother you, direk,” sabi pa ni Cassian saka ngumiti kay Zak. Napairap na lang ako.

Masyadong wino-worship ni Cassian si Zakarius. Siya lang ba ang magaling na direktos sa Pilipinas? Cassian is fucking annoying to the highest degree! Kapag nalaman niya lang talaga na killer ang Zakarius na ’yan, ewan ko na lang kung tratuhin niya pa rin nang ganyan.

“It’s fine,” Zak answered shortly. He’s really a man of few words, and damn him.

“Let’s start!”

Agad akong tumayo at lumapit kina Castor. I can feel that Zakarius is looking at me but I didn’t dare to look back at him. Damn Cassian, why did he invite Zakarius? Hindi na ako magiging kompotable nito.

“Castor, after that, you have to hug Angel from her back while teaching her how to use a gun. You have to whisper on her ears, like that.”

Wala akong masyadong maintindihan sa sinasabi ni direk. I can’t focus because I can feel Zakarius’ intense gaze even though I’m not looking at him which is weird. Kapag nagkamali ako rito, talagang sisisihin ko si Cassian.

“1, 2, 3, action!”

I gulped and took a deep breath. I took the gun and pointed it at the target, this is just a fake gun but I don’t know why I’m shaking like hell. Castor positioned on my back and held my hands.

“Hey, you’re shaking. Are you alright?” Castor murmured. I just smiled at him and nodded.

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at napatingin kay Zakarius. Katabi niya ang direktor, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked intently at me. His blue eyes are penetrating into my system for some unknown reason. I can’t focus at all because of him.

Calm down, Angel. May mga naka-trabaho ka nang magagaling na direktor kaysa sa kanya. Calm down, relax.

“Angel, focus! Look at the target, you have to look fierce than nervous!”

I bit my lower lip in embarrasment when the director shouted. I took a deep breath once again and calm myself.

Pilit kong pinakalma ang sarili ko hanggang sa natapos ang scene na ’yon. Pinilit ko na lang na isipin na wala si Zak dito. I was really embarrassed because it was just a simple scene. Halatang nanibago rin si Castor sa ’kin dahil hindi talaga ako awkward sa camera.

Kasalanan ’to ni Zakarius.

“You both know what to do with the next scene right? Just look at each other’s eyes intently as if no one is around and then boom, you know what to do.”

Napatango na lang kami ni Castor sa sinabi ni direk.

We will be shooting a kissing scene. Actually, I’m used to it. In my five years in showbiz, hindi na ako naiilang sa mga ganitong eksena. But I don’t know why I suddenly felt uncomfortable knowing that Zakarius is here, watching us.

“Action!”

Castor held my waist and I clung on his nape. We fell on the soft mattress together while he’s on top of me. We stared at each other’s eyes, without breaking the eye contact. Castor gently caressed my cheek. Nanatili akong nakatitig sa mga mata niya nang bumaba ang tingin niya sa labi ko.

Dahan dahan kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko nang unti-unti niyang inilapit ang mukha sa ’kin. We were about to kiss when someone interrupted.

“Cut!”

I instantly opened my eyes when I noticed something, hindi iyon ang boses ng direktor.

Halos lahat ay nakatingin kay Zakarius, kahit si Cassian ay halatang natigilan. Zakarius is just looking at us with a serious look on his face. Castor stood up and helped me stand up. I can’t believe it, did he just interrupt our shooting?!

“What the hell?!” I asked and put my hands on my waist. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko na mapasigaw. Okay na sana, e. Mabilis sanang matatapos ang kissing scene kung hindi lang panira itong si Zakarius.

“Ms. Angel Mendoza doesn’t seem to be in a good mood to do kissing scene. She didn’t show much emotion at all. I’m disappointed,” dire-diretsong sabi ni Zakarius saka lumabas ng silid. Agad naman siyang sinundan ni Cassian.

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from screaming because of irritation. Damn him, damn Zakarius ‘fucking’ Cavalcante! How dare he embarras me like that?!

---

“Ngayon sigurado na ’kong wala kayong relasyon ni Director Cavalcante, kasi kung meron, hindi ka niya ipapahiya nang gano’n,” natatawang sabi ni Chan.

I glared at him and threw him my pouch. He bit his lower lip, trying to supress himself from laughing again. I inhaled deeply and try to calm myself. Fuck.

“Matapos-tapos niya akong kidnap-in ng ilang araw, ipapahiya niya ako nang gano’n?” I asked in disbelief and fanned myself using my hands.

Natahimik si Chan sa sinabi ko, napaawang din ang labi niya. Doon ko lang napagtanto ang sinabi ko. Tumingin ako sa paligid, buti na lang busy ang lahat.

“Woah, Angel. That’s a good joke,” Chan said, laughing.

I kicked his legs and threw him a tissue roll. Tinawanan niya lang ako. Halos umusok na ang ilong ko sa inis. Minsan talaga naiisipan kong sisantehin na lang si Chan.

“If he kidnapped you for days, paano ka nakakapunta ng shooting? Saka bakit hindi ka kaagad tumakas o nagsumbong sa pulis? Joker ka pala, Angel Mendoza. Pwede ka na sa comedy movies,” natatawang sabi pa niya.

Natigilan ako, tila nawala sa isip ko ang pang-aasar ni Chan. There’s only one thing that bugged me… why am I not escaping? Why am I still staying at his house? Why can’t I leave him even if I can?

I don’t know why I became a bitch, maybe it’s because I can’t trust anyone. Halos lahat pina-plastik ako. Aarte sila na parang kaibigan ko pero malalaman ko na lang na sinisiraan na nila ako sa iba.

I don’t know why they did that. Maybe they are insecure, wala naman kasi akong ginagawang masama sa kanila. Actually, I’m a good friend, I don’t know why they keep on breaking my trust as well as my heart. Of course, friendship is still a special bond, masakit mawalan ng kaibigan, but it’s much better than staying in a toxic friendship. Naglolokohan lang kayo kung sakali.

I met Jaze during my first year in college. Akala ko noon wala na akong magiging kaibigan, but she came into my life and became my best friend. To be honest, Jaze is way too good to be my friend. She’s the real angel between us. Sobrang saya ko noong dumating siya sa buhay ko dahil sa unang pagkakataon, may taong naging totoo sa ’kin.

Hindi ko inakala na magtatagal ang friendship namin ni Jaze. We’re now on our last year in college. Saglit na lang at makakapagtapos na kaming pareho. I’m still thankful to have her as my best friend.

“Where are we going, Jaze? I’m busy,” I said, kinda irritated when Jaze dragged me somewhere.

May shooting dito sa tapat ng university namin kaya marami-raming tao. I’m not interested in watching this kind of stuff dahil maraming tao. Ayaw kong nakikipagsiksikan.

“Wait, Angel. Look at the director, the man with the blue eyes. Ang guwapo niya, diba? He’s Director Zakarius Cavalcante, a young well-known director,” kinikilig na sabi ni Jaze at itinuro ang lalaking nakasuot ng black jacket at seryoso ang mukha.

I was stunned while staring at him. Jaze is right, he’s really attractive, sinfully handsome. I honestly think that he’s more handsome than the actor. His serious eyes make him more attractive, he looks so matured and reserved. Damn, I have a crush on him already.

Even after class, Director Zakarius Cavalcante still lingers on my mind. There’s something about him that really caught me off guard. May mga naka-date na ako noon, pero iba ang dating sa ’kin ni Zakarius Cavalcante.

“Ma’am Angel, saan ka po pupunta? Pinapasundo ka na ng Mommy mo,” sabi ng driver ko. Napairap na lang ako.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ipinapasundo pa ako nina Mommy sa driver kahit kaya ko na naman ang sarili ko.

“I need to go somewhere, uuwi ako mag-isa,” I said and gave him my bag.

“Pero Ma’am Angel, gabi na. Baka–”

Hindi ko na hinintay na matapos ang driver sa sasabihin at agad siyang iniwan sa tapat ng gate ng university.

Actually wala naman talaga akong pupuntahan, gusto ko lang tumambay sa rooftop ng abandoned building na malapit sa campus. Gusto ko munang magpahangin saglit, napagod ako sa exams.

I was taken aback when I saw someone sitting on my favorite spot. My heartbeat raced when I saw the man sitting on the floor, wearing a leather jacket with tousled hair. It feels like my lips curved on its own.

Director Zakarius Cavalcante.

Napalunok na lang ako at nanatiling nakatayo mula sa malayo habang pinagmamasdan siya. His eyes are closed while feeling the cold wind. When I first saw him, he’s emotionless, as if he doesn’t care about anything. But he’s way different right now, it seems like something is bothering him. Mukhang may malalim siyang iniisip.

He opened his eyes when a cat approached him. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang hawakan niya ang leeg ng pusa saka inangat.

Oh my God, what the hell is he doing?

Akmang lalapit na ako sa kanya upang pigilan siya nang ilagay niya ang pusa sa kandungan niya. I blinked thrice when he starts stroking the cat’s fur. His eyes are soft while looking at the cat. I supressed myself from laughing, he’s weird, but cute at the same time.

Napasinghap na lang ako nang mapatingin siya sa direksyon ko. My knees automatically weakened and my pulse raced when his blue eyes stared at me directly, his eyes are like the blue sea, para akong nilulunod ng mga ’yon.

Wala na akong nagawa at naglakad na lang papalapit sa kanya. I cleared my throat, tried to act cool and sat beside him. We’re still few inches apart from each other but I can already smell his manly scent.

“You shouldn’t grab cats like that. Ganito.”

Kinuha ko ang pusa mula sa kanya. I gently grabbed the cat’s tummy and put him or her on my lap. I smiled and gently rubbed its fur. I really like cats but I can’t adopt one, allergic si Mommy sa balat ng pusa. Mamaya pag-uwi ko ay maliligo muna ako at magpapalit ng damit bago yumakap kay Mommy.

Zakarius Cavalcante remained silent, he’s just looking at me. I felt uncomfortable, is there a stain on my face or what? Kung alam ko lang na makikita ko siya rito, sana nagpaganda ako nang maigi. I look haggard and worned out right now.

Simula ng tagpong ’yon, gabi-gabi akong napunta sa rooftop ng abandoned building na ’yon, palagi rin siyang nandoon. Most of the time, we’re not talking, we’re just staring at the moon and stars. Habang tumatagal, nag-i-improve, hanggang sa nalaman niya na ang pangalan ko, at madalas ko ng i-kwento ang nangyayari sa araw ko. It’s weird because I found myself trusting him easily, hindi yata maku-kumpleto ang araw ko nang hindi siya nakakasama sa rooftop.

“You want to be an actress?” Zakarius asked while staring at me.

“Yup. But to be honest, I think being an actress doesn’t suit me. Baka sukuan ako ng mga direktor,” natatawang sabi ko at kinagatan ang chocolate na bigay niya sa ’kin.

I don’t eat chocolates that much, pero kung galing sa kanya, palagi kong kakainin.

“Be an actress, I will be your director,” he said and gently touched the tip of my fingers. Napapitlag ako sa ginawa niya, tila may kuryenteng dumaloy sa buong katawan ko.

Damn, I want him to touch my hand. I want to touch his hand. I want to hug him. This is really bad.

I smiled with his remark. I want that too, I want to be an actress while he’s the director.

“Talaga? Kahit hindi ako magaling um-acting, o kaya may attitude problem ako, kukuhanin mo pa rin ba akong artista?” natatawang tanong ko.

Tumango naman siya saka hinawakan ang pusa na palagi rin naming kasama rito. Hindi ko pa nakikita na ngumiti si Zakarius, sana makita ko siyang ngumiti kahit isang beses lang.

Sa mahigit dalawang buwan naming pagkikita ni Zakarius sa rooftop, I realized something… I like him, I don’t even know if it’s still ‘like’ or something more. I want to see him always, I want to be with him, just sitting with him on the rooftop without saying anything already comforts me. Kahit hindi kami naglalandian o anuman kagaya ng mga naka-date ko noon, nakukuntento na ako, masaya na ako.

I decided to finally confess my feelings for him. I’m scared that he might reject me, pero baka pagsisihan ko lang habang buhay kapag hindi ako umamin.

Tonight, I will finally confess to him. Bahala na.

Aamin na sana ako sa kanya pero hindi siya sumipot ng gabing ’yon… Hanggang sa ilang linggo na siyang hindi nagpakita sa ’kin.

“Where are you, Zakarius?” I murmured while tapping my finger on the table. I suddenly regretted not asking for his number.

“Angel!”

Natigilan ako nang marinig ang boses ni Jaze. Agad akong napatingin sa kanya at napangiti, ngunit naglaho ang ngiti sa labi ko nang makita ang lalaking kasama niya. They are holding each other’s hands habang papalapit sa direksyon ko.

My chest tightened and my lips shivered. I bit my lower lip and tried to stop my tears. Nararamdaman ko ang bahagyang panlalabo ng paningin ko dahil sa nagbabadyang luha pero pilit kong pinigil iyon.

I shouldn’t cry, not in front of them.

“Angel, I have a good news for you. Remember him? He’s Director Zakarius Cavalcante, he’s now my boyfriend!” Jaze announced and squealed. Pilit na ngumiti na lang ako saka ibinaling ang tingin konkay Zakarius.

He’s staring at me with no emotion in his eyes, as if he doesn’t know me… as if we didn’t share a lot of moments together.

“Hello, Director Zakarius Cavalcante, I’m Angel. Please take good care of my friend, and please don’t hurt her,” I said and smiled at him. That’s right, just smile, Angel.

I think I really did fall for him, sa kanya lang ako nasaktan nang ganito. But what can I do? I just did my best to hide my feelings, I buried it deep within my heart… At hinding hindi ko na ibabalik pa ’yon.

“What the fuck are you thinking, Angel?” I asked myself and massaged my temple. Bakit ba bigla ko pang naalala ’yon?

Just forget about it, Angel. Never think about it again. Please.

That’s right, ilang taon na ang nakalipas. Wala na ’yon ngayon, wala na. It was just a puppy love, nothing more.

Napailing na lang ako at lumabas ng banyo. Malamang kanina pa naghihintay si Chan sa van. I should stop thinking about that stupid past of mine. It’s all nothing now.

Pilit kong pinakakalma ang isip ko habang naglalakad ako patungo sa van. Maraming napasok sa isip ko, I’m clouded with thoughts and memories that I don’t want to remember anymore.

I was taken aback when someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me. Sisigaw na sana ako ngunit natigilan ako nang mapatingin sa mukha niya.

Zakarius, again.

“Wala akong sinabi na pwede ka ng umuwi. You’re still my hostage, woman,” he muttered while staring at me, his blue eyes are penetrating my system.

I guess, I’m still weak when it comes to him… My heart is still weak when it comes to him, just like before.

Chapter Seven

“This is against my will, Zak.”

Nanatili akong nakatingin sa bintana ng kotse. I don’t want to look at him right now, baka masapak ko lang siya ng wala sa oras.

“I know, no need to remind me,” he responded. I just snorted and took a deep breath.

“Naiirita ako sa pagmumukha mo,” I said while gritting my teeth. Zakarius didn’t say anything, he remained quiet, he just focused on driving. I hate him, I fucking hate him!

I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Baka masipa ko pa ’tong si Zak sa inis ko. I’ll just ignore him while he’s taking me as a ‘hostage’ kuno. When will Jaze come back? Mababaliw na ako sa pinaggagawa nitong si Zakarius.

My eyes widened when I heard a gunshot from somewhere, halatang natigilan din si Zakarius.

“What the fuck was that, Zak?” I asked nervously, and shaking. I gripped Zakarius’ arm. My whole body shivered because of fear.

“Wear your face mask, make sure no one can see your face,” he said in a cold tone.

Agad kong sinunod ang utos niya. Nanginginig ang mga kamay na kinuha ako ang face mask sa sling bag ko at sinuot ’yon. Napatili ako nang makarinig na naman ako ng putok ng baril.

Zakarius started driving three times faster than usual. I gasped and gripped my seatbelt, pakiramdam ko tatalsik ang kotseng ’to sa bilis ng pagpapaandar niya.

“Kumapit ka nang maigi,” he demanded and looked at the side mirror of the car.

Tumingin din ako sa side mirror. I gasped in horror when I saw three black cars following us. Napasigaw na naman ako nang malakas nang magpaputok sila ng baril, sumakto ’yon sa side mirror na tinitingnan ko.

“Z-Zakarius, who are they? W-why are they following us?” I asked, my voice is literally shaking.

I love starring in action movies but I don’t want real action in real life. I don’t want to die yet, for heaven’s sake.

Zakarius didn’t respond. He took a gun from his coat and looked at the side mirror once again. Binuksan niya ang bintana ng kotse saka nilusot ang ulo ro’n. Napasigaw na lang ako nang paputukin niya ang baril niya.

I looked at the cars following us, dalawa na lang ang kotseng nakasunod sa ’min, siguro binaril ni Zak ang gulong ng isang kotse.

Zakarius continued driving, mas naging mabilis ang pagpapaandar niya ng sasakyan. I tried to stop from screaming and just gripped my seatbelt tightly. Wala na nga akong maitulong kay Zakarius sa sitwasyon na ’to, pipigilan ko na lang ang sarili ko na sumigaw para hindi siya ma-distract kahit na takot na takot na ’ko.

Zakarius tried to shoot their car again. I held his arm and pulled him. He looked at me with creased forehead. I gulped and bit my lower lip.

“B-baka mabaril ka sa ginagawa mo, tumakas na lang tayo,” I said and turned my gaze away from him.

Zakarius remained silent, he just continued driving the car, much faster than it was earlier. I closed my eyes tightly. Mukhang hindi kami sa baril mamamatay kundi sa bilis ng pagpapatakbo niya ng kotse.

I don’t know where we are right now, the place is dark, there’s no streetlights around. We’re just on the dark road with no people nor houses around… Kaya mas lalo akong kinakabahan.

“Shit,” Zakarius cussed. Lalong umakyat ang kaba sa dibdib ko nang bumagal ang andar ng kotse hanggang sa tuluyan ’yong tumigil. Siguro nabaril din nila ang gulong ng kotse namin.

“Hey, listen to me.” Zakarius held my hand and looked at me with serious eyes.

My vision became blurry because of the tears I’ve been stopping. Zakarius wiped my tears on my cheek and gently caressed it. I’m scared, my whole body is literally shaking, my lips are quivering like hell because I’m so scared.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of them fast, don’t get out of this car. Okay? This is my phone, call Cad and tell him to track my phone. Ask for his help, he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

Hindi na niya ako hinintay na sumagot at agad na lumabas ng kotse. Hindi na ako nagsayang ng oras at agad na binuksan ang phone niya. My hands are shaking while browsing for Cad’s number on his contacts. Agad kong tinawagan nang makita ko ang pangalan niya. Laking pasasalamat ko nang agad niyang sinagot ang tawag.

“Hello, Zak. What’s up?”

“H-hello, Cadence. M-may nangyayari kasi, basta! Nakikipagbarilan si Zakarius sa labas. Tulungan mo kami, b-baka kung ano pang mangyari sa kanya,” I nervously said, my voice is still shaking.

“Oh, alright. We’ll be there in a few minutes. By the way, don’t worry about Zak, kaya niya ’yan, and don’t call the police, unless Zakarius is dead. Bye!” sabi nito saka agad na binaba ang tawag. Mas lalong umakyat ang kaba sa dibdib ko dahil sa sinabi niya.

Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko at napatingin kay Zakarius na nasa gilid ng kotse at nagtatago habang nakikipagpalitan ng bala. I really want to call the police right now. I don’t think I can wait longer.

I bit my nails, my knees are still shaking. I’m worried as hell about Zakarius, I don’t know what to do if something happens to him.

Please, don’t die.

I gasped in horror when he was shot on his left shoulder. Napahawak siya ro’n at napangiwi ngunit hindi niya ’yon ininda. Mas lalong umakyat ang kaba sa dibdib ko nang lumapit si Zakarius sa kanila at walang habas na nakipagpalitan ng mga bala sa mg ’yon.

Is he fucking crazy?! Paano kung mabaril siya?!

I supressed a scream when he was about to get shot again. With pounding heart, I look around his car to look for another gun. I’m sure he has another gun here.

My eyes widened when I saw a silver-colored gun under his seat. Agad kong kinuha ’yon, tila ba nawala na sa isip ko ang binilin ni Zakarius at agad na lumabas ng kotse.

My hands are shaking while holding the gun with both of my hands, I don’t even know if I’m holding it right. I want to help him, I don’t want him to die.

“I won’t do that if I were you.”

Natigilan ako at napatingin sa nagsalita sa likod ko.

“W-who are you?” I nervously asked. Is he an enemy?

He looks like a foreigner but with black hair and black eyes. He has serious and mysterious look in his eyes. I immediately pointed the gun at him.

“Calm down, I’m your ally,” tila natatawang sabi pa nito saka lumapit sa ’kin.

“Don’t fucking come near me,” I said, trying to sound strong, but in reality… I’m so scared.

Natigilan ako nang mapansing wala ng putok ng baril sa paligid. What happened?

“I clearly told you not to get off the car.”

Napasinghap ako at napalingon sa likuran ko. Pakiramdam ko natanggal ang tinik sa dibdib ko nang makita si Zakarius na ligtas. Katabi niya si Cadence na may hawak ding baril, ngumisi siya sa ’kin.

I removed my face mask and bit my lower lip as tears instantly stream down to my cheeks. I bit the insides of my cheeks to stop myself from sobbing. Kusang nabitiwan ng kamay ko ang baril na hawak ko. I felt weak, I was about to fall down the ground but Zakarius immediately come near me and held my waist, he carried me as if he doesn’t have a wound on his arm. I clung on his nape and buried my face on his chest. I suddenly feel embarrassed because he saw me like this, so weak and fragile.

“Why is she crying? Did you scare her, Frenier?” Cadence asked, maybe he’s talking to the guy who talked to me earlier. I guess he’s really our ally.

“The fuck did I do? I just told her I’m her ally. Tangina, bakit ba kasi sinama mo pa ako rito? Kaya niyo na naman palang dalawa,” the foreigner-like guy said. I didn’t expect he can speak tagalog like a pro.

“Are you alright?” tanong ni Zakarius. Napatingala ako sa kanya saka tumango habang lumuluha pa rin. Kanina ko pa pinipigil na umiyak dahil sa halo halong emosyon, takot na takot ako kanina. Akala ko talaga ay may mangyayari nang masama sa kanya.

“How about you? A-are you alright?” I asked and looked at his shoulder. May dugo nga siya ro’n, muling nanginig ang labi ko dahil sa kaba.

Hindi niya sinagot ang tanong ko, binuhat niya lang ako at ipinasok sa ibang kotse dahil nga sira na ang gulong ng kotse niya. He sat beside me and pulled me closer to him. I didn’t protest and just let him held my waist. Cadence and the man I don’t know also got inside the car, Cadence started driving and I finally felt at ease.

---

“Damn this night.”

I looked at myself in the mirror while doing my skin care routine. Nagtagal ako nang maigi sa banyo kanina habang pilit na pinakakalma ang sarili ko. Tonight’s happening is too much to bear, I was so scared knowing that Zakarius almost died.

I bit my lower lip and stomped my feet. What the fuck am I thinking? Ano naman kung mamatay siya ro’n? Bakit ba masyado akong concerned? He’s a killer, he can handle himself, why the fuck am so worried about him earlier?

I shook my head and groaned. I don’t give a fuck about Zakarius. Natural lang na matakot ako sa sitwasyong ’yon, kapag namatay siya, ako na lang mag-isa ro’n.

I sighed and stood up. By the way, how is he? Did he already cure his wound?

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at sinilip siya sa living room. Natigilan ako nang makitang nandoon pa si Cadence at ang isang lalaking kasama nila. Zakarius is sitting on the couch while the two are standing, it seems like they are talking about something serious. My forehead creased when I saw his wounded shoulder. He’s not wearing his leather jacket anymore that’s why his wound is much visible now.

Bakit hindi niya pa ginagamot ’yon?

“Cadence, tell the others that we will annihilate that fucking group tonight. Tell Xanthos that he’ll lead tonight’s annihilation, I won’t be able to come with you, I’m so drained,” Zakarius said and closed his eyes.

Mukha ngang pagod na pagod siya.

“Woah, easy there man. Annihilation agad? Wala ka namang pakialam sa grupong ’yon diba? Bakit gusto mong patumbahin sila ngayon?” Cadence asked. Zakarius opened his eyes and looked at him.

“I wouldn’t care if I was alone that time, Cadence, but I’m with that woman. They’re still lucky because nothing happened to her, I will kill them and their fucking whole clan if something happened to that woman.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Napalunok ako at napakapit nang mahigpit sa stair handrail dahil sa sinabi niya. My pulse races as well as my heartbeat. I can feel that my cheeks are heating up, I touched them unknowingly. Why did I get so worked up because of what he said? Fuck.

“Hey, Ms. Mendoza, nandiyan ka pala.”

I was taken aback and looked at them. Cadence called me and gave me his usual playful smile. I just smiled awkwardly at them, I tried to calm my heartbeat. I just won’t look at Zakarius for the meantime. Right, don’t look at him, Angel.

Bumaba na ako ng hagdan at lumapit sa kanila. Oddly, I can feel Zakarius’ intense gaze even though I’m not looking at him which is weird. Focus, Angel. Don’t fucking look at him.

“Eron, ito nga pala ang kaibigan kong artista, si Angel Mendoza,” sabi ni Cadence sa lalaking Eron ang pangalan saka inakbayan ako.

My forehead creased with his remark. When did we become friends? Hindi ko alam na magkaibigan pala kami.

“Hello, Ms. Angel Mendoza, I’m Eron… Eron Frenier. Sorry for scaring you earlier,” Eron said smiled a little.

Eron Frenier is a handsome man too, mas mukha siyang approachable kaysa sa dating kasama ni Cadence dito na Arken yata ang pangalan. I think he’s a half-French or what.

“It’s fine. Sorry rin sa pagtutok ko ng baril sa ’yo kanina,” sabi ko na lang saka alanganing ngumiti sa kanya.

Napatingin ako kay Zak nang tumayo siya. He pulled me away from Cadence and glared at him. I was stunned when he put me on his back as if he’s hiding me from Cadence.

“Stop fooling around and do what I said,” Zakarius said in a cold tone, I almost shivered.

“Fine, fine, init agad ng ulo mo, e. We’ll go ahead,” sabi na lang ni Cadence habang natatawa. Lumabas na silang pareho ni Eron at iniwan kami ni Zak.

I removed Zak’s grip on my wrist and glared at him.

“Bakit hindi mo pa ginagamot ang sugat mo?! Inuna mo pa ang pagpa-plano ng kung ano-ano, paano kung naubusan ka ng dugo?!” naiinis na singhal ko saka itinulak ang dibdib niya.

Natigilan siya nang hawakan ko ang kamay niya saka hinila siya paakyat ng hagdan… How dare he ignore his wound?

“Where’s your first aid kit?” I asked.

“In my room,” he answered shortly and just let me pull him.

Hinila ko siya hanggang sa silid niya at basta na lang binuksan ang pinto. Hindi naman siya tumutol at hinayaan lang ako.

I was stunned when I finally entered his room. I’m actually expecting snake-like room but surprisingly, his room is just simple with large bed and gray color scheme. Wala siyang masyadong gamit dito sa kuwarto niya.

“Where’s your first aid kit?” I asked and raised my eyebrow at him.

Zakarius pointed the drawer beside the bed. Agad kong binuksan ’yon at kinuha ang first aid kit. Siguro madalas na talaga siyang masugatan.

Pinaupo ko si Zakarius sa kama saka inilapag ang first aid kit sa tabi niya. Agad kong binuksan ’yon. Natigilan ako nang may mapagtanto ako.

“Ahm, can you remove your shirt?” I awkwardly asked.

I was taken aback when Zakarius removed his shirt and threw it on the floor. I turned my gaze away from his body. I can feel my cheeks heating up but I remained calm and just paid my attention on his wound.

Zakarius is ripped all over, but it’s not scary unlike other muscled men. His shoulder is broad, just like what I expected, his muscled arms are to die for. It feels like those arms can protect me in any harm.

I just gulped and tried my best to focus on cleaning his wound. Mukhang nadaplisan lang siya ng bala sa balikat, kaya pala parang wala lang sa kanya, pero alam kong masakit pa rin ’yon.

I straightened my back and punched it slightly. Ang hirap pumwesto na nakatayo habang ginagamot ang sugat niya. Ayaw ko namang umupo sa tabi niya dahil mataas ang balikat niya, lalo akong mahihirapan.

I gasped in shock when Zakarius suddenly pulled me to sit on his right thigh. My eyes widened in disbelief and looked at him. As usual, there’s no emotion in his eyes. He’s just looking at me as if he didn’t do something.

“It will be easier for you to cure my wound this way, right?” he asked. Our faces are just few inches away from each other so I can almost smell his minty breath.

Napalunok na lang ako habang pilit na pinakakalma ang puso ko na halos nagwawala na. I licked my lower lip and starts cleaning his wound. My hands are literally shaking because of our awkward position but I just did my best to act cool because Zakarius seemed so cool about this. Halos manginig na ang buong katawan ko pero kalmado lang siya.

With shaking hands, I covered his wound using a gauze pad after cleaning it.

I was about to stand up but I was stunned when I saw his stomach. My lips parted when I saw his tattoo there.

Zakarius has a snake tattoo on the left part of his abdomen up to the lower part of his chest. It’s a snake swirling on a trident, a king cobra. It was beautifully tattooed, I hate snakes, everything about snaked but the snake tattoo on his abdomen turns me on.

I suddenly want to touch it, to look at it closely. His snake tattoo suits his firm abs, it suited his ripped body so well I almost salivate. Tattoos are cool and I actually planning to have one, but his tattoo is the most admiring tattoo I’ve ever seen.

Bumaba ang kamay ko ro’n, napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko nang kaunti na lang ay mahahawakan ko na ’yon ngunit agad na hinablot ni Zak ang kamay ko. Tila natauhan ako at napatingin sa kanya.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked. I almost shivered because of his cold voice.

“Z-Zak…”

He loked at me with those intense eyes. I bit my lower lip once again and looked at his beautiful tattoo.

“Am I not allowed to touch it?” I asked while staring at his tattoo.

Natigilan ako nang siya mismo ang nagdikit ng kamay ko ro’n. I inhaled deeply when my fingers finally touched his tattoo. My whole body shivered when I finally touched it. May kung anong nagwawala sa tiyan ko na hindi ko maipaliwanag… That familiar heat, it’s spreading like a wildfire throughout my body. I looked at his face once again. Zakarius held my back and slowly pulled me closer to him.

Bumigat ang paghinga ko at tila nanghina ang buong katawan ko nang mapatitig sa mga mata niya. I can’t take the intensity of his stare anymore. It feels like he’s marking my whole being, it feels like I am his.

Our nose almost touched, my lips automatically parted when I smelled the addictive smell of his breath. Kaunti na lang ang layo ng mga labi namin, pilit kong pinipigilan ang sarili na hilahin ang batok niya at siilin ng halik ang nakakaakit na labi niya.

Natauhan na lang ako nang pumasok sa isip ko si Jaze. Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko at napatayo. Halata namang natigilan siya sa ginawa ko.

“I-it’s done. I-I will go to sleep now,” I uttered and immediately left his room.

Napasandal na lang ako sa pinto at napapikit nang mariin nang makalabas na ako sa silid niya.

What the hell? I almost lose it… Muntik na akong malunod sa emosyon at mahalikan siya. What the fuck am I thinking?

Chapter Eight

“Okay, today is rest day. You won’t do anything but to exercise, eat fruits, watch my face on the TV, and read books. Zakarius is probably busy, so don’t mind him. Even if he’s here, you won’t talk to him. Got that, Angel Mendoza? You are so beautiful, don’t be swayed by his charms.”

Para akong ewan na nagsasalita sa tapat ng salamin. I looked at my face while putting minimal make up on my face. I’ll just work out for this morning. Oo, naglalagay ako ng make up kahit nagwo-work out ako, magagandang klase ang make up ko, they are tears proof, sweat proof, lahat ng klaseng proof. Make up remover lang ang makakatalo rito.

I put my hair into messy bun, I look hot. I smiled in front of the mirror and stood up. I’m wearing gray sportswear, a sportsbra and shorts. Good thing Zakarius has a mini gym here. Hindi ko na kailangang lumabas para magwork out.

I prepare a towel and a tumbler and go straight to the gym. I was taken aback when I saw Zakarius in the gym. He’s working out using the pull-up bar. Glass wall ang haligi ng gym kaya kitang kita ko siya.

Pumasok na ako sa loob, nakatalikod siya sa puwesto ko kaya siguro hindi niya ako napansin.

I unconsciously bit my nails while looking at his muscular back. Inaangat niya ang sariling katawan sa pull-up bar, wala siyang damit pang-itaas kaya kitang kita ko ang pawisang likod niya. I’ve seen a lot of muscular men with sexy body, but Zakarius’ body is to die for, his body is the sexiest one I’ve ever seen.

Fuck those firm sexy biceps and triceps. I wanna touch them.

I just shook my head and gently slapped my face. What the hell? Pinagnanasahan ko ba talaga siya habang nakatalikod siya?

Nagtungo na lang ako sa treadmill at nagsimulang tumakbo ro’n, mabagal lang muna. Pasimpleng napapatingin na lang ako kay Zakarius. Natigilan ako nang mapansing wala na siya sa pull-up bar.

I cleared my throat once again when I saw him sitting on the chair while wiping his nape down to his neck. Halos mapaso ako dahil nakatitig siya sa ’kin, iyan na naman siya sa titig niyang nakakatunaw. Bakit ba ganyan siya makatitig?!

I just turned my gaze away from him and snorted. Don’t mind him, Angel. Malamang nakatingin siya sa ’kin dahil ang ganda ko, normal lang ’yon.

“Ouch!”

I groaned when I lost my balance, natumba ako sa treadmill. Napadapa ako sa sahig at talagang sumubsob ang mukha ko sa sahig. Fuck. Sana ground proof din ang make up ko.

I sighed and closed my eyes tightly while still on the floor. Gusto ko na lang lamunin ng lupa at h’wag ng magpakita kay Zakarius habang buhay. Running on treadmill is my favorite work out because it’s easy, ngayon lang ako nakagawa ng katangahan sa treadmill.

“Are you alright?” Zakarius asked. He gently held my arm, tinulungan niya akong tumayo. Inalalayan niya ang baywang ko ngunit agad ko siyang itinulak.

“This is all your fault, Zak!” I shouted and pushed his chest. Damn, what a hard chest.

“Why was that my fault?” he asked. His forehead creased in confusion. I admit, he’s cute doing that.

“You keep on looking at me, I can’t focus! Kapag nabangasan ang magandang pagmumukha mo, talagang masasapak kita!” naiinis na sabi ko saka inangat ang kamao ko.

Natigilan ako nang lumapit siya sa ’kin. Hinawakan niya ang baba ko saka marahang inangat ’yon. I blinked twice when he examined my face, our faces are just few inches away from each other, I can smell the scent of his addicting breath. I gulped and my pulse raced, when he stared at my bare face, maybe he’s trying to see if there’s a wound or what on my face. But damn, he’s too close that I almost forgot how to breathe.

There’s no emotion in his blue eyes but it’s making my heart beats like crazy. My knees are kinda shaking and I’ve been fighting myself from exhaling for how many minutes now. I’m confident about the smell of my breath, but I don’t know why I’m suddenly conscious about it.

“May masakit ba?” tanong niya sa malalim na boses habang nakatitig pa rin sa mukha ko.

My knees wobbled once again, he rarely speaks tagalog, but it’s always turning me on every-fucking-time he does that. Zakarius Cavalcante is a walking perfection.

“I’m fine, let me go,” I snarled and pushed his chest.

I saw his king cobra tattoo again. I groaned and turned my gaze away from it. That fucking tattoo is seducing me again. Why does he have to look so fucking hot with that tattoo? He’s already hot without it, but his tattoo makes him ten times hotter.

“Don’t mind me,” I said and rolled my eyes at him.

Lumayo na lang ako sa kanya dahil hindi pa rin ako maka-move on sa katangahang ginawa ko sa treadmill. Malamang mukha akong ewan kanina noong nahulog ako.

Nagtungo na lang ako sa yoga mat at umupo ro’n. Zakarius sat on his chair and stared at me while wiping his sweat again. Why the fuck is he staring at me all the time? Hinihintay niya na na mapahiya ulit ako?

I closed my eyes and sat straight, I calmed myself and started inhaling and exhaling slowly. I have to forget that Zakarius is there, he’s just distracting me.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at humiga. I bent my knees and put my palms on the sides of my head. Makapag-sit ups na nga lang, hindi ko na lang papansinin ang Zakarius na ’yan.

Nagsimula na akong mag-sit ups, medyo nahirapan lang ako dahil walang nakahawak sa paa ko. Usually kasama ko si Chan during work out, siya ang nahawak sa paa ko kapag nagsi-sit ups ako.

I was taken aback when I felt something on my feet. Napabangon ako at natigilan nang makitang hawak hawak ni Zak ang magkabilang paa ko habang nakatitig sa ’kin.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked and raised my eyebrow at him.

“I’m just trying to help you, you seem to be having a hard time doing sit ups,” he murmured and held both of my feet using his one hand.

“Fine,” sabi ko na lang saka inirapan siya.

Inilapat ko nang maigi ang likod ko saka huminga nang malalim. Iisipin ko na lang na si Chan ang kaharap ko ngayon, hindi na lang ako titingin sa pagmumukha niya.

Dahan-dahan kong inangat ang katawan ko, napasinghap na lang ako dahil halos magkadikit na ang mga mukha namin. Nanatili naman siyang nakatitig sa ’kin na tila ba hindi siya naaapektuhan.

I blinked my eyes and turned my gaze away from him. I slowly laid down again and took a deep breath. Calm down, that’s the key. Act like he doesn’t affect you at all, Angel.

Muli kong inangat ang katawan ko. Muli akong napasinghap at halos maduling na ako dahil sa lapit ng mukha niya sa ’kin.

I gasped in shock when his hand held my back. Isang kamay niya lang ’yon pero pakiramdam ko sakop na sakop na niya ang likod ko. Marahan niyang idiniin ang kamay sa likod ko.

“Straighten your back, you look tensed,” he murmured and let go of my back.

I pushed his chest and immediately stood up. Tumayo rin siya at isinabit ang towel sa batok niya. I glared at him and put my hands on my waist.

“Wait, pwede ka na bang mag-work out? May sugat ka pa diba?” I asked as my forehead creased.

“I’m fine, this was just a small wound. I can’t even consider it as a wound. I have lots of wounds here that are much worse,” he said and pointed his body.

I cleared my throat and looked at his sexy and muscular body. He’s right, he has lots of wound, but I don’t know why he still looks attractive with those wounds. I really got it bad.

“Fine, I don’t care anyway,” I said and took my towel and tumbler and left the gym.

Damn, it seems like I have to practice my emotions from now on. I always lose my poise every time I’m with him, and it’s not good.

---

“Why don’t you release an announcement? Kakausapin si Castor, i-release niyo sa media na nagde-date kayo. Ang daming reviews ng teaser photos niyo ni Castor, almost all of your fans wanted you to date him.”

I just rolled my eyes while fixing my hair into a messy bun. Damn Cassian, kung ano-anong pinagsasasabi ng lalaking ’to. Tatadyakan ko talaga siya bukas!

“No, I won’t do that kind of fan service.”

I may be a bitch but I don’t want to fool my fans just to make them happy. I want to be real, that’s why I show my true colors most of the time, pero nilu-lugar ko naman, at depende rin sa init ng ulo ko. Mabait ako sa fans, sincere ang ipinapakita ko sa kanila because I’m truly thankful to have them. But I really don’t do those kinds of fan service. I’m an actress, but I still want to be real.

“Fine, I know you would say that,” he murmured. I can imagine that he’s rolling his eyes right now.

“Alam mo naman pala, e. Bye na nga,” nakakunot-noong sabi ko na lang saka ibinaba ang tawag.

I looked at the mirror one last time, I’m wearing a white long sleeve chiffon nightgown. I look like a princess right now. Matutulog na nga lang ako, ang ganda ko pa rin.

Lumabas ako ng kuwarto para sana magtungo sa kusina at uminom ng tubig ngunit natigilan ako sa naabutan ko sa living room.

Bakit ang daming lalaki rito?!

“What the fuck are you all doing here?”

Nakatayo si Zakarius sa tapat ng mga lalaking prenteng nakaupo sa mahabang couch. Nakatalikod si Zak sa puwesto ko kaya hindi niya ako nakikita ngayon.

“Chill, Zak, my friend. Nandito kaming lahat para pag-usapan natin ang hatian ng nakuha naming pera sa kabilang grupo,” nakangising sabi ni Cadence. Lumapit ito kay Zakarius at umakbay pa.

“How much?” Zakarius asked.

“Two billion US dollars, bro. Two billion, dalawang bilyong dolyar. Tangina,” tila na-e-excite na sabi ni Cadence. My eyebrow arched, where the hell did they get that huge amount of money?

“Zak, I think I deserve the largest percentage. I acted as the leader last week. I’ve done so much, I deserve the largest amount,” the man with the black curly hair said. I think he has the manliest aura among the other men here.

“Shut the fuck up, Xanthos. I deserve the largest amount, ako ang naging tuta ni Zakarius nang mga nakaraang linggo. Diba, bro?” sabi naman ni Cadence.

“Wait, ako ang pinakamaraming nagawa nung annihilation. I’m the most skilled fighter here, I deserve the largest percentage,” Eron said and stood up.

“Let’s just stop fighting and split the money among us fairly. Tapos ang problema,” nakakunot-noong sabi ng lalaki na sa pagkakaalala ko ay Arken ang pangalan.

“Shut up, rich guy!” sabay na bulyaw nina Eron at Cadence.

I bit my lower lip and cross my arms over my chest. It seems like Zakarius is the leader of this thingy. I bet they are all killers. Do they kill people to get their money? Kaya ba ang yayaman ng mga ’to?

“Who is that woman?”

Nagtayuan ang mga balahibo ko nang magsalita ang isang lalaki habang malamig na nakatingin sa ’kin. That man looks dangerous with his brown hair and brown eyes. He looks like a pure foreigner and his cold voice is so fucking… fucking sexy.

“Kalma, Remor. Harmless ’yang si Miss Angel Mendoza,” nakangising sabi ni Cadence.

“I don’t give a fuck if she’s harmless. She heard our conversation,” that guy called ‘Remor’ said and took his gun. I was taken aback and my eyes widened.

Itututok na niya sana ang baril sa ’kin nang agad na nahawakan ni Zakarius ang baril niya at hinablot ’yon.

“No one is allowed to kill that woman, Fedorov,” Zakarius said in a very dangerous tone. I somehow felt protected.

“Hay nako, tigilan niyo nga ’yan. Halika, Angel, my friend. Ipapakilala ko sa ’yo ang mga mababait kong kaibigan.”

Hindi na ako nakapalag nang hilahin ako ni Cadence saka inakbayan.

“Iyang masungit na ’yan, si Remor Fedorov ’yan. H’wag mo na siyang pansinin kung nagsusungit siya, ang tagal ng hindi nakakatikim ng sex niyan kasi hiniwalayan siya ng asawa niya,” sabi ni Cadence at itinuro ang lalaking muntik ng mantutok ng baril sa ’kin.

“Shut up, Cadence!” naiinis na sabi ni Remor.

Natigilan ako nang hawakan ni Zakarius Zakarius ang kamay ko at hinila ako mula may Cadence at inilagay sa likod niya.

“Fucking leave now, Xanthos and Eron will receive the largest percentage. Cadence will receive the least amount,” Zakarius said coldly and glared at Cadence. Cadence lips parted with his remark.

“What the fuck? Bakit gano’n? Nasaan ang hustisya, Cavalcante? Mas may silbi pa nga ako kaysa kina Xanthos, e!” reklamo ni Cadence.

“Okay, okay. You heard him, right? Let’s go, Cadence. H’wag na nating inisin si Zak. Let’s go,” Eron said and pulled Cadence away from Zakarius.

Nagsimula na silang maglabasan ng bahay ni Zak. Pinigil kong matawa dahil naririnig ko pa ang reklamo ni Cadence.

“Ang sama mo naman kay Cadence. Palagi niyang sinusunod ang utos mo. You should give him what he deserves,” pagdepensa ko kay Cadence. Napakunot naman ang noo ni Zakarius.

“Just shut up,” Zakarius said, annoyance is evident in his voice.

“Don’t shut up me, Zak. How dare you do that to Cadence? You’re a heartless jerk! He brought my things here and even buy fruits for me. You should–” he immediately cut me off.

“I fucking paid him for that! Isa pang salita mo, wala akong ibibigay sa kanya kahit singko!”

I was taken aback when he shouted, he shouted at me. I glared at him and pushed his hard chest.

“You are so fucking masungit! I hate you!” I snarled and left him there.

Agad akong umakyat ng hagdan at nagtungo sa silid ko. Padabog na isinara ko ang pinto at agad na umupo sa kama.

How dare he shout at me like that?! May masama ba sa sinabi ko?

I removed my brassiere and threw it on the bed. Damn him. Wala siyang karapatan na sungitan ako, ako lang ang may karapatan magsungit dito.

“Damn, I need water,” I murmured. Nakalimutan kong uminom ng tubig dahil sa mga lalaking ’yon na basta na lang sumulpot.

Lumabas ako ng kuwarto ko at nagtungo sa kusina. Napairap na lang ako nang makita ko ro’n si Zakarius. Nainom din siya ng tubig.

I just ignored him and took a glass of warm water. I can feel that he’s looking at me but I just didn’t pay attention on him. I’m still furious as hell.

Natigilan ako nang lumapit sa ’kin si Zak. Napakunot ang noo ko at tinaasan siya ng kilay. Nanatili naman siyang walang emosyon habang nakatitig sa ’kin.

“What?” I asked and putt the glass on the sink beside me.

“You’re not wearing a bra.”

Agad na nag-akyatan ang dugo sa mukha ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Napatikhim ako at agad na napayakap sa sarili ko.

Fuck, I’m so fucking idiot.

Pakiramdam ko na sobrang init na ng magkabilang pisngi ko ngayon. Baka iniisip niya ngayon na inaakit ko siya. Ang kapal naman ng mukha niya kung iisipin niya ’yon. I don’t need to do this just to seduce someone. I’m already seductive as hell even if I’m fully clothed.

“Ahm, I-It was just… Women really remove their brassiere when they go to sleep. Bye,” I said, awkwardness is so evident in my voice.

Aalis na sana ako ngunit agad na nahawakan ni Zakarius ang kamay ko saka hinila ako papalapit sa kanya. I gasped exaggeratedly as my knees weakened because of what he did.

“W-what the hell are you doing?” I stuttered.

I looked at his eyes. My pulse quickened when I saw something unfamiliar there. I can see fire in his eyes, my whole body shivered when his hand gently held my waist. I feel so weak right now, his eyes alone make me weak and helpless.

My lips parted when his other hand gently caressed my neck up to my jaw. His sensual touch makes my system go wild with unknown emotion. I want to be devoured, I want to be touched and devoured by him.

My mind finally went blank when his thumb sensually stroked my lower lip. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa mga labi ko at kitang kita ko kung paano siya napalunok.

His jaw clenched, he licked his lower lip and closed his eyes tightly, as if he’s fighting something.

My heart is pounding faster. Sasabog na yata ’yon sa kakaibang pakiramdam na bumabalot sa katawan ko. I couldn’t think of anything else right.

Zakarius opened his eyes and looked in my eyes with much intensity, I almost melted. My hand unconsciously held his muscled arm. Sobrang nanghihina na ang mga tuhod ko at parang bibigay na ang mga ’yon.

Napasinghap na lang ako nang walang sali-salitang binuhat ako ni Zak at ini-upo sa mesa. He spread my legs and positioned himself in between. He held both of my cheeks and hungrily crushed his lips on mine.

I groaned in much need and desire, I hugged his nape and respond to his hungry kisses with equal ferocity. He held my back and pulled me closer to him. My nipples instantly hardened when it crushed on his hard chest. I moaned softly when his toungue starts exploring my mouth while gently caressing my waist.

This is not my first kiss, I know how to kiss but I feel so amateur right now while answering his sensual kiss. I grabbed his nape and deepened our kiss. I can’t think of anything right now. I just want his kiss, his addcitive lips.

My whole body shivered when he put his hand inside my nightgown and gently stroked my soft legs. I moaned under his kiss, my hands reached his hair and gently gripped it.

Hinihingal ako nang bahagya niyang ilayo ang labi sa ’kin. I’m still catching my breath, my eyes are half-open. I know I look sated right now, but damn. I want more of him.

Zakarius planted small kisses on my lips, down to my jaw, to my neck. Electricity rushed through my veins when he licked a ticklish spot on my neck, teasing me.

“Z-Zak…” I murmured softly and desperately pulled his neck closer to me.

Zakarius gladly obliged and crushed his lips on me once again. I released a needy moan and instantly respond to his hungry kisses. I’ve never been kissed like this before. I never felt like this before.

He sensually moves his lips, I almost lose my sanity when he moves his tongue with his lips. Pakiramdam ko inuubos na niya ako, at pakiramdam ko wala akong balak na pigilan siya.

“Fuck.” Zakarius cussed under his breath grind his hips in my center part. I bit my lower lip and moved my hips against his.

“Ahh,” I groaned softly when I felt something hard in my lady part.

My knees weakened when Zakarius spread my legs wider, I gasped in shock when he slowly laid my back on the table. Agad siyang pumaibabaw sa ’kin at muling siniil ng halik ang labi ko.

He spread my legs wider. Na-expose and mga hita ko at ang underwear ko nang bumaba ang nightgown ko dahil sa ginawa niya. He starts grinding himself on my center. I moaned when I felt his hard on crushing against my wetness covered by my silk underwear.

Zakarius is just wearing a thin pajama so I can feel his hard on, it’s so hard I almost came. Damn, I desperately want to feel him.

I bit my lower lip when the table creaked while he’s grinding his hips against mine. His kisses became more sensual, his hot tongue is now exploring the insides of my mouth.

I hugged his nape and moved my hips against his. Fuck everything, I want him. I fucking need him.

Chapter Nine

“Zakarius…”

I can feel his hand inside my nightgown. Napakapit ako nang mahigpit sa mesa nang maramdaman ko ang kamay niya sa dibdib ko. My body is shivering against his touch. My mind is still stopping me, but my body is in control right now. My body wants his touch and kisses.

“Z-Zak, touch me,” I murmured when his hand started fondling my breast under my nightgown. He’s avoiding touching my nipple on purpose, he’s literally teasing me.

He’s gently bitting my lower lip while touching me all over. My body arched when I felt his hard on crushing on my womanhood harder. I released a needy moan and touch his broad shoulder. Sobrang nanghihina na ako, pakiramdam ko matutumba ako kahit nakahiga naman ako sa mesa.

“So sensitive,” he whispered huskily and played with my nipple using his thumb. My toes curled, my mouth agape while I’m trying to catch my breath. I’m literally sweating but he doesn’t seem to mind.

He sucked my lips and kissed me savagely again. I responded with much need and desire. We kissed open-mouthed, we’re both panting as his hands worked, doing wonders on my body.

Pakiramdam ko ay malalagutan ako ng hininga sa halik niya. His kiss was hard, then gentle, then hard again, like he’s a hungry beast and I’m his prey. I almost lose it when his kiss became slow, wet, and coaxing. This is surely the hottest kiss of all time. I can’t breathe properly right now, wala pang nakagawa nang ganito sa akin noon… Si Zakarius pa lang.

My back arched once again when his thumb and index finger starts playing with my nipple. My eyes dilated as his mouth moved down to my slender throat, he licked my skin there and gently bit it. Tila nakuryente ang buong katawan ko sa ginawa niya, hindi na ’ko mapakali.

I start gripping his arms, then his shoulders, then his hair. Hindi na ako mapakali dahil sa sensasyon na ibinibigay niya, nagiging malikot na ang katawan ko.

Zakarius held both of my hands and pinned it on the table. My lips parted when he started grinding his hips again. I spread my legs wider and moved my hips against his. My heart beats faster when I heard him released a manly moan, I never knew someone’s moan can be this sexy. Zakarius is a walking temptation, no one can resist this man.

I bit my lower lip, my wet womanly center pulsated and tingled with pleasure against his hard shaft covered with his pajama. I tried to calm myself, I couldn’t think properly anymore. I’m so desperate to release this heat building up in my body. I desperately need him.

Binitiwan niya ang mga kamay ko, agad akong napakapit sa likod niya nang maramdaman ko ang kamay niyang bumababa hanggang sa pagkababae ko. I catched my breath, he puts his hand inside my underwear. My toes instantly curled when I felt his rough hand on my soaking feminity.

“Fuck, you’re so wet for me,” he mumbled ina sexy hoarse voice and gently stroked my folds using his finger.

I made out with my past boyfriends before, but I never let them touch my private parts. I don’t know why I’m letting him touch me all over as if my body belongs to him. This is insane, I’m insane.

“Aahhh, Z-Zak…” I moaned and spread my legs wider when his finger starts playing with my slippery core.

His finger found my throbbing nub and tease it. My lips parted, trying to catch my breath when he gently rubbed it using the tip of his index finger. My whole body is literally shaking, my body can’t contain the sensation anymore, it was too much to bear.

He slightly spread the folds of my core and rubbed his finger there. My eyes dilated, my pulse raced as my back arched. I can’t keep up with his expert fingers anymore. Mababaliw na yata ako sa ginagawa niya.

I raised my hip but he held it using his other hand. He started swirling the tip his index finger there , teasing it, making it wetter than it already is. I can feel something building on my belly, I couldn’t explain it. I just want to release something, I just want to release this heat because I can’t take it anymore.

“Z-Zak, oohhh… P-please, touch me, please,” I moaned. I’m literally begging him to touch me more. Hindi ko inaakalang magagawa kong magmakaawa nang ganito. I’m desperate, I want him.

My eyes widened when he removed his hand on my core when I was about to release something. I felt so frustrated, I want him to continue, I want him to touch me more. Why the fuck did he stop?

I gasped in shock when he grind his hard groin on my wetness again. My mouth agape when I realized it was his bare c-ck. He didn’t remove my underwear but I can feel his bare hardness, it’s hard. I’m currently fighting the urge to stroke it with my hand.

“Aahhh…” I gripped his hair when he started thrusting his hip. I can feel that he’s still wearing his pajama, he just took his c-ck out. I can feel his bare c-ck grinding on my softness beneath my underwear, it feels so good… The tingling sensation and electricity are rushing through my veins. I’m about to lose my mind right now.

Zakarius licked his lower lip and sexily bit it. He gripped the table trying to stop it’s movement, the table is literally creaking right now, hindi na ako magugulat kung bigla na lang itong bibigay dahil sa paggalaw niya sa ibabaw ko.

I enjoy staring at him, he looks so satisfied. Just like me, it looks like he was about to lose his sanity too. Namumula nang bahagya ang mukha niya habang nakaigting ang panga na tila ba kinokontrol ang sariling emosyon.

His blue eyes met my brown ones. The intensity of his eyes are too much, the dominance it screams is too much to bear.

“Z-Zak, the table… The table will break, I-I’m sure,” I stuttered. I held his shoulder, trying to stop him.

“It won’t,” he murmured and continued rubbing his shaft on my core. I just closed my eyes and bit my lower lip. Tila na-blanko na rin ang isip ko. I just moved my hips against his, keeping up with his desperate movements.

“Fuck,” he moaned and held my legs tighter. He crushed himself in between my legs harder, he’s now sweating but it just makes him hotter and sexier. Damn it, I want more of him.

“Z-Zak, s-stop. There’s something, aahhh…” I gripped his arms, my nails digged on his muscled arms but he doesn’t seem to mind and just continue grinding himself on my softness.

Powerful sensations start building up amd throbbed on my belly. I desperately moved my hips against his when I felt something, I want to release this flaring heat inside my body.

“Ahh, fuck. Z-Zak, oohhh…”

I grabbed his hair and pulled him close as I writhed beneath him. I felt something coming out of my wet core. I moaned when I finally released the heat inside me, my whole body is convulsing in much pleasure. I feel so sticky and wet right now, but Zak is still moving above me, he’s still grinding his hardness on my damp core. Hs’s literally gritting his teeth, the table is creaking loudly, sigurado ako na masisira na ito maya-maya lang ngunit tila wala siyang pakialam.

Zakarius’ groans and heavy breath is turning me on. I already had my release but he looks so hot while moving his body in much need and desperation. I suddenly felt so desirable and wanted.

“Damn, so good,” he murmured sexily while thrusting his hips.

I bit my lower lip while staring at his handsome face, I can feel his c-ck convulsing on my lady part. His face screams pleasure and desire. His blue eyes are on fire while staring at me. I held his face and moved my hips against his even though I felt so weak all over.

“Ah, fuck…” he moaned and gripped my shoulder tightly. His body shivered and his movements became slower.

My lips parted when his hot seed coated my belly as he came. He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. He’s catching his breath while stroking my waist. That was so intense, he didn’t penetrated my womanhood but that was so good.

“Fuck, I never came this way before,” Zakarius murmured while caressing my arm.

The hot load feels so sticky on my tummy, but oddly, it doesn’t feel disgusting at all. I find it satisfying and hot.

Zakarius stared at me, I bet I look like a wasted and drunk woman right now. Nag-iinit pa rin ang mukha ko dahil titig na titig siya sa ’kin. I want to wipe my sweat but I’m too weak to do that.

“Stay there,” Zakarius murmured and get off the table.

I just nodded and closed my eyes while still catching my breath. Bumalik din agad si Zak. He wiped my stomach using a tissue and fixed my nightgown.

He carried me off the table, pinaupo niya ako sa upuan. Nanginginig pa rin ang mga hita ko dahil sa nangyari.

I gasped when the table suddenly collapsed. Sabi na nga ba at bibigay ito, inaasahan ko na ’yon ngunit nagulat pa rin ako. Buti na lang wala na ako sa mesa nang bumigay ’yon.

I bit my lower lip while avoiding Zakarius’ intense gaze. The atmosphere suddenly became awkward from intense. I don’t know how to face him now, pleasure blinded my mind. Nakalimutan ko kanina ang lahat ng bagay, mukhang gano’n din siya.

“Angel.”

Natigilan ako nang tawagin niya ako. Tila hindi makapaniwalang napatingin ako sa kanya. I don’t know but I think this is the first time he called me by my name. He always calls me ‘woman’. I think my heart is about to explode right now.

“I know you are aware that we’re both consenting adults. We were just carried away by emotions, I know you’re open-minded about these stuffs.”

Ang kakaibang emosyon na nararamdaman ko kanina ay tila gumuho. I looked at him, I tried to remain calm and didn’t react with his remark. I know what he’s trying to say.

“So, you want me to forget everything. That’s what you want to say, right?” I asked. Pilit kong pinigilan na mautal, pinilit kong pakalmahin ang sarili ko kahit nanginginig ang mga kamay ko.

Good thing I’m an actress.

He didn’t say anything, he just remained silent, but I get it. Naiintindihan ko kung ano ang gusto niyang mangyari.

I bit the insides of my cheeks, pinipigilan ko ang kakaibang emosyon na umaakyat sa dibdib ko. I don’t know why but this situation is hurting me. Pinipigilan ko ang sarili na maiyak. I won’t cry, I’ll do anything just to stop myself from crying in front of him right now.

“Of course, Zakarius. Na-carried away lang din naman ako. You know, I just missed having sex with someone, I’m just a woman with active sexual life. Pinagbigyan lang natin ang mga sarili natin, but don’t worry, I’ll forget everything, ni hindi nga tayo nagsex, e. It’s fine, kakalimutan na lang natin ang lahat, that’s the best option. Good night.”

Kahit nanginginig pa ang buong katawan ko, pinilit ko pa ring tumayo at iwan siya sa dining area. Agad akong nagtungo sa kuwarto ko at dali daling sinara ang pinto.

I slumped on the bed and covered my face. Ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan ay agad na kumawala. Dumapa ako sa kama at tinakpan ng unan ang mukha ko habang impit na umiiyak.

I shouldn’t blame him for this, I let it happen. Ginusto kong mangyari ’yon. I should’ve stopped myself, dapat pinigilan ko ang sarili at ang emosyon ko.

But still, he’s a jerk. Damn him. I will never forgive him, I will never let him touch me again.

---

“My goodness, Angel. Ano na naman ba kasing drama ang pinanood mo at namamaga ang mga mata mo? Hirap na hirap tuloy ang make up artist mo kanina,” panenermon ni Chan sa ’kin. 

I just rolled my eyes at him. I don’t have energy to argue with him right now. Ilang beses na akong napagalitan ng direktor dahil nalulutang ako at tila wala sa sarili.

“Just shut up, Chan. Baka masisante kita sa inis ko,” pananakot ko sa kanya saka tiningnan siya nang masama. Natahimik na lang si Chan at tinakpan ang bibig niya.

I sighed and tried to relax. Just stop thinking about him, Angel. He’s a d-ck, hindi niya deserve na isipin ng magandang tulad ko.

Napairap ako nang makitang papalapit sa ’kin si Cassian. Nakakunot ang noo niya at nakikita ko ng sesermunan din niya ako.

“The director said you should take a break, Angel. Magpahinga ka muna at mukhang wala ka sa sarili,” nakakunot-noong sabi niya saka agad akong tinalikuran.

Buti naman at hindi na niya ako binira nang maraming sermon. Mukhang napansin niya rin na wala ako sa mood kanina pa.

Agad akong tumayo at lumapit kay Castor na abala sa pagbabasa ng libro. This man loves reading books, that’s admirable because of that, he loves reading books about mystery and crimes, sometimes he reads fantasy books too. We are alike when it comes to that, I love reading fiction books too. I read fantasy and mystery novels too, but I like reading romance novels more, especially stories that tackle up about real-life sufferings and experiences.

“Castor.”

Natigilan si Castor sa pagbabasa at napatingin sa ’kin. He smiled and put his book on the table beside him. Tumayo siya at humarap sa ’kin. One thing I like about Castor is that he knows how to deal with women. He can be playful, he can be naughty, he can be a gentleman, depende sa mood ng babae.

“Why, Angel?” he asked and stroked his hair using his hand.

“Do you want to have a dinner with me?” I asked while curling my hair using my finger. Halata namang natigilan siya sa tanong ko.

“Woah, that’s so sudden. Ano’ng meron?” tila natatawang tanong niya.

“Pumapayag ka ba o hindi?” I asked and raised my eyebrow at him. He just laughed and gently pinched my cheek.

“Okay, mukhang kanina ka pa wala sa mood, siguro nag-away kayo ng bago mong ka-date. But well, let’s have a dinner if that will make you feel good,” he said and smiled at me. Bahagyang ngumiti na lang din ako.

This is right, I should distract myself on other things and stop thinking about him. That’s the right thing to do.

Wala pa si Chan nang makarating ako sa parking area. Malamang kinakausap pa ito ni Cassian. I just shrugged off and was about to enter the van when someone pulled my wrist. I already know who it is.

Agad kong inalis ang pagkakahawak niya sa ’kin at tiningnan siya nang masama.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Zakarius?!” I asked and pushed his chest.

“I told you that–”

I immediately cut him off.

“I won’t go back to your house again, Zakarius. I have my own house, I have my own life. Jaze will come back if she wants to. Try finding her on your own and don’t bother me again. Isang lapit mo pa sa ’kin, magsusumbong na talaga ako sa mga pulis. Fuck off,” I said with finality on my voice. I stared at his blue eyes and as usual, I can’t see what he’s thinking right now. Hindi ko na naman mabasa ang emosyon niya.

“Angel? Director Cavalcante, namdito ka pala.”

Napatingin ako kay Chan na kararating lang, agad ko siyang tiningnan nang masama.

“Get in the van. I want to go home, Chan,” I said and immediately get inside the van. Wala namang nagawa si Chan at sinunod na lang ang utos ko.

This is the right thing to do. I should stay away from him, being with him is fatal… Walang magandang idudulot sa ’kin ang pagigng malapit sa kanya.

Chapter Ten

“Magkwento ka sa ’kin, para naman gumaan ’yang nararamdaman mo.”

Napatingin ako kay Castor. I just rolled my eyes at him and played with the wine glass’ mouth, circling my finger there. Ako ang nagyaya sa kanya na magdinner pero nakatulala lang naman ako at walang sinasabi.

Nandito kami sa rooftop mg private condominium na tinutuluyan niya. Ito ang lugar na hindi pa yata nadi-discover ng fans niya, which is good. I just want to have a peaceful mind even just for tonight. I don’t want to be alone because for sure I’ll just end up thinking about him, then cry. Well, to be honest, I’m thinking about him right now, but at least I’m not crying.

“Just thinking about random stuffs, don’t mind me,” I said and drank the wine. I looked at the night sky, what a wonderful sight.

“Well, it’s just I’m not used to seeing you like this. That thing that’s bothering your mind right now must be a big deal, you lost your focus on acting earlier, that’s new. You’re always professional, putting aside your personal matters while doing your job. Well, you can tell it to me. You know I’m a good listener, and I always keep secrets. Ang dami mo ng sinabi sa ’kin, yung iba personal pa, kailan ko ba pinagsabi ang mga ’yon?” natatawang tanong niya. Bahagyang natawa na lang din ako at napailing.

I hate to admit it but Castor really knows me so well, I don’t consider him as my best friend but I’m so comfortable around him, kahit pa nilalandi niya ako paminsan-minsan.

“I had an intimate moment with my best friend’s boyfriend last night,” I said and sighed. I drank my wine once again and stroked my hair using my fingers.

Castor’s eyes widened, his lips parted, he looked at with disbelief in his eyes as if I’m kidding or what. I just rolled my eyes at him and kicked his feet under the table.

“Woah, I didn’t know you have an incredibly wild side. That’s fucking amazing,” he said and smirked at me. Damn this man, akala niya yata ay nagbibiro ako.

“I’m serious as hell, Castor. I’m so confused right now.” I closed my eyes and massaged my temple.

“Is there something to be confused about? You’re my friend but you and that guy clearly did the wrong thing… you know, just forget everything, you said he’s your best friend’s boyfriend. The best thing to do is to forget about it, though, just let me remind you that you shouldn’t do it again. That’s cheating. He’s your best friend’s boyfriend, right?” tanong ni Castor. Natigilan ako.

What the hell? I just noticed that I forgot about Jaze. Dapat hindi si Zakarius ang iniisip ko kundi si Jaze. Bakit nakalimutan kong makaramdam ng konsensya sa kanya dahil sa nangyaring ’yon sa ’min ni Zak?

“Oh, damn, I forgot about her. Good thing you reminded me that. I’m really a bitch,” I murmured and gripped my hair. Castor just laughed at me and grabbed my hand, stopping me from gripping my own hair.

“It seems like you have feelings for that man, Angel.” He smirked and laughed gently. My forehead furrowed, what the hell is he talking about?

“Are you insane? Of course not, wala akong feelings sa lalaking ’yon!” I exaggeratedly said as my eyes widened. Damn him.

“If you don’t have feelings for him, why are you acting like this? Hindi ka naman mukhang nakokonsensya sa best friend mo. Then it must be about him, you’re thinking about him and he’s the one who’s invading your mind right now. In short, you have feelings for him,” Castor said. Kinagatan niya ang strawberry na nasa plato ko. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at napailing.

“It’s not like that, Castor. Oo, nagustuhan ko siya noong college ako, pero wala na ’yon ngayon. Sobrang tagal na no’n,” depensa ko saka kumagat na lang din ng strawberry.

“Woah, so siya pala ’yon. Yung first love mo nung college ka na naging boyfriend ng best friend mo? Wow, pwede ng i-drama ang buhay mo,” natatawang sabi pa niya. Tiningnan ko na lang siya nang masama.

“Did I tell you about that?! When?!” I asked and hit the table with my hands. Castor just laughed at me.

“Yeah, I guess it was two or three years ago? You were so drunk that time, sayang lang at hindi mo nasabi ang pangalan niya,” napapailing na sabi naman niya. Kahit papa’no nakahinga ako nang maluwag, buti na lang pala.

“Well, he’s my first love. But I don’t have lingering feelings for him now, saka puppy love lang naman ’yon. I’m just bothered because I’m insulted. He told me to forget everything, I should be the first one to say that. Naunahan niya ako, hindi ’yon tama!” naiinis na sabi ko at muling napahampas sa mesa. Muling natawa si Castor sa ginawa ko.

“Fine, I get your point, Angel. But what can we do? Naunahan ka na niya. Just forget about it. Ang masasabi ko na lang sa ’yo ay tanggalin mo ang lahat ng ugnayan mo sa kanya. Stop thinking about him and just be cool about it,” sabi niya saka uminom ng wine.

I sighed and nodded, he has a point. I should just stop thinking about him.

“You’re right, Castor. Why am I letting him invade my mind? I’m too beautiful to be stressed out just because of that jerk.” I gritted my teeth. Castor just smiled at me and gently caressed the top of my hair.

“That’s the power, Angel Mendoza,” Castor said and smiled at me.

Buti na lang at naisipan kong kausapin si Castor. Kahit papa’no gumaan ang pakiramdam ko.

---

“OMG, Angel. You were spotted last night inside Castor’s car, and the fans’ reviews are all positive. Announcement niyo na lang ang hinihintay nila. Are you sure you’re not dating him? Bakit hindi na lang kayo magdate for real? That will be convenient for the both of you,” Cassian said. Ipinikit ko na lang ang mga mata ko habang inaayusan ako ng make up artist ko.

“Shut up, we’re not dating, at h’wag ka ngang maingay at baka marinig ka pa nina Castor,” I said while gritting my teeth. Tatadyakan ko na talaga siya, kaunti na lang. Kita niyang inaayusan ako, e.

“Then date him. Ano pa ba ang ayaw mo kay Castor? He’s perfect for you at halos kilalang kilala niyo na ang isa’t isa. Label na lang talaga ang kulang sa inyo,” tila nangingisay pa na sabi ni Cassian.

Hindi na lang ako nagsalita at baka matadyakan ko pa siya. Cassian is really a jerk, kaya palaging masama ang tingin sa ’kin ng mga artista rito sa agency, e. Masyado niyang pinapahalata na ako ang favorite niya sa lahat ng artista rito.

The shooting will end early today because there will be an award ceremony tonight, 45th film award ceremony of CGFA. There will be a lot of well-known actors and actresses there, as well as well-known directors. Speaking of director, I’m sure Zakarius won’t attend the award ceremony. He never attends award ceremonies even though he won a lot of Director of the Year Award. Palagi siyang nababatikos dahil do’n, I don’t know why he does that all the time, and I don’t care. Bakit ba naisip ko na naman ang lalaking ’yon?

“Hello, Angel.” Lumapit sa ’kin si Castor saka umupo sa tabi ko. Napairap na lang ako dahil halos lahat ng staff ay nakatingin sa ’min, maski sina Chan at Cassian na mukhang kinikilig pa sa amin. Pag-uuntugin ko na talaga silang dalawa.

Lumapit sa ’kin si Castor saka inilapit ang labi sa tainga ko.

“I got a tip from the announcer, you will win the best actress award this year, again,” he murmured and laughed gently. I just smirked and raised my eyebrow.

“I’m not even surprised, Castor.”

Natawa na lang siya sa sinabi ko.

“Will you be my date, Angel? You know, I helped you with you ‘puppy love’ struggle last night. So be my date for tonight, I don’t want to go there without a date,” he mumbled. I just laughed and look at my nails, I need a manicure.

“Fine, para namang ikamamatay mo kapag wala kang ka-date do’n,” tila nang-aasar na sabi ko.

“Well, I know you want to ask me to be your date, nahihiya ka lang siguro. Inunahan na kita,” natatawang sabi niya saka nagtaas-baba ng kilay. Napailing na lang ako at pabirong hinampas ang braso niya.

My forehead creased when I saw Cassian taking pictures of us. I took the tissue roll beside me and threw it at him. Sapul naman ’yon sa noo niya kahit medyo malayo sila ni Chan sa ’min. Damn this man, talagang gusto niyang magdate na kami ni Castor para mas malaki pa ang pumasok na pera sa agency niya.

At some point, I think he’s right. Dating Castor will be convenient for me. He knows me so well and vice versa. Castor is also a loyal type of man, hindi ako mamomroblema sa babaero. Kaso hindi ko talaga kaya… I don’t know why.

---

“Damn, you look so gorgeous, Angel,” Castor said with admiration in his voice. I just smirked at him. What’s new? I’m always gorgeous.

Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto ng van. Dito ako sa bahay ko nagpaayos, sinundo niya ako rito dahil nga siya ang date ko para sa award ceremony.

Castor looks dashing with his gray tuxedo. To be honest, he looks like a Hollywood star, maybe because he’s not a pure Filipino. Matangkad siya at matikas ang katawan, he looks intimidating at first because he looks like those typical ‘supladong guwapo’ but he’s actually a good guy. Madalas ko nga siyang asarin na marami lang siyang fans dahil guwapo siya, but to be honest, he’s talented as hell too. My parents want me to date him too especially my Mom.

Castor helped me with my long gown. I’m wearing a silver mermaid long gown with plunging neckline and open back. The long gown emphasizes my curves, Castor and I intentionally wear a matching outfits. Halos magkapareho ang kulay ng suot namin. Cassian suggested it, pumayag si Castor kaya pumayag na lang din ako. Ayoko namang masabihan ng killjoy.

Castor and I talked about some nonsense things during the ride. Hindi na ako kinakabahan sa mga ganitong ceremony. Siguro ang kinakatakot ko na lang ay kapag nadulas ako or natalisod during the ceremony. That happened to me three years ago while receiving the influential celebrity of the year award, I was so embarrassed I didn’t use social media for a week.

Nakarating na kami sa venue makalipas ang ilang minuto. Si Castor muna ang lumabas ng van saka pinagbuksan ako. He helped me on fixing my long gown, I clung on his arm and walked on the red carpet with him. Nasilaw ako sa mga camera sa paligid, but I still managed to smile at everyone and waved my hand. Our fans shouted. Mukhang kami ni Castor ang huling dumating. I told him we should be the last one to arrive because I like it. Alam na niya naman iyon, alam niyang bida bida talaga ako taon taon.

Halos lahat ay may hawak na banner na may picture at pangalan namin ni Castor, yung iba naman ay fandom ng love team kuno namin ni Castor… What a joke.

Sa bandang unahan kami pumwesto ni Castor dahil nandoon talaga ang upuan namin. My co-actors greeted me, of course, I greeted them back. Hindi naman ako gano’ng ka-maldita para hindi sila pansinin.

“I just hope we don’t get the couple of the year award,” I murmured to Castor. He just laughed and offered me a sit then sit beside me.

“Hindi natin masasabi, couple of the year award is based on people’s votes. Masyado tayong na-expose nitong mga nakaraang linggo,” natatawang sabi niya. Napairap na lang ako.

The ceremony finally started. I really enjoy attending these ceremonies not because of my award, I can see my favorite actor ang actresses here. Halos lahat ng paborito kong artista ay mga batikan na, kumbaga mga artista noong 80s or 90s, sila talaga ang mga idolo ko. I can socialize with them or ask for their advice. Most of them are so humble and approachable, hindi katulad ng ibang artista ngayon na ang tataray hindi namang magagaling umarte.

Ako lang ang may karapatam magtaray dahil magaling akong umarte.

“Best actress of the year, Angel Mendoza!” the host announced. Castor smirked at me and winked.

I confidently stand up and walk to the stage. I smiled at everyone, all of them are clapping, I waved my hand elegantly and gave them my sweetest smile.

Inabot sa akin ng host ang trophy. I smiled once again and raised my trophy, the crowd’s cheer became louder. Medyo nasasanay na ako sa ganito pero sobrang saya ko pa rin. Last year I didn’t win the best actress award which is understable. Si Gia Vadermo ang nanalo last year, she’s a good actress, and a worthy opponent.

“Thank you for this award, CGFA. I’m so honored and will cherish this forever. Thank you for all of my fans and for those who didn’t get tired of supporting me since day one. This wouldn’t be possible without all of you, thank you very much.”

Bumalik na rin agad ako sa upuan ko pagkatapos ng maiksing speech na ’yon. Paulit-ulit na lang yata na gano’n ang sinasabi ko, ayaw ko na rin kasing habaan dahil nakakangalay tumayo ng naka-heels.

“That speech is so cliché, Angel,” Castor said while laughing. I just punched his arm lightly and gave him my trophy. Castor didn’t get the best actor award, but he’s cool with it. Castor doesn’t care about awards anyway. Nag-artista lang talaga siya dahil trip niya.

As expected, Castor and I won the couple of the year award. I don’t know why we won this, we’re not even a couple. Pero siyempre tinanggap ko na lang din. Paniguradong mag-iingay na naman ang fans ng love team kuno namin sa social media.

“The director of the year, Zakarius Cavalcante for the movie, Political Parties!”

I’m not surprised, the movie Political Parties deserves to win as the movie of the year award. Maraming kritiko ang lumabas nang ipalabas ang movie na ’yon dahil tila pinapamukha ng movie na ’yon sa mga tao ang tungkol sa korapsyon at real-life happenings sa pulitika. Zakarius is really fearless because he directed that film, tila kinakalaban niya ang mga pulitiko dahil do’n. Mas lalong marami ang humanga sa kanya nang ipalabas ang movie na ’yon. To be honest, I admired him too because he directed that worth-watching and eye-opener movie.

But they’re just wasting their time. Hindi napunta si Zakarius sa mga ganitong ganap.

Natigilan ako nang magbulungan sa paligid, napatingin ako sa stage at natigilan sa nakita.

My lips parted when I saw Zakarius walking on the stage. Ano ang nakain niya at um-attend siya ng award ceremony?

“Thank you for this award,” he said with no emotions in his eyes. Tipid na ngumiti lang siya. Napasinghap na lang ako nang magtagpo ang mga tingin naming dalawa.

I bit my lower lip and turned my gaze away from him. My knees instantly weakened, my heart is beating like crazy right now. Nakita ko lang siya bumibigay na kaagad ang sistema ko.

Don’t be a weakshit, Angel Mendoza.

Napakunot na lang ang noo ko sa mga naririnig na bulungan sa paligid.

“Wow, Director Cavalcante is really handsome. I already worked as an actress in his movie last year. Girl, mas guwapo pa siya sa ibang artista.”

“He should be an actor, ang gwapo niya talaga.”

Napataas na lang ang kilay ko at napairap. To hell with these girls. E, kung ingudngod ko kaya ang mga pagmumukha nila sa sahig, ang haharot.

The party started after the ceremony. Nakakainis dahil maganda na sana ang mood ko, kung hindi lang sana dumating ang Zakarius na ’yon. Masyado siyang pa-bida!

“Hey, are you alright? Mukha kang manununtok,” natatawang sabi ni Castor saka uminom ng wine.

“I’m fine, I’m just tired.”

I don’t know but I keep on looking for Zakarius the whole time. I stopped myself for how many times but my eyes keep on roaming around, looking for him.

My forehead creased when I finally saw him. He’s sitting on the counter while drinking liquor with some actresses. I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath.

What a manwh-re. Damn him.

Wala ako sa mood buong oras ng party. Nahahalata ’yon ni Castor kaya hindi na lang siya nangungulit. Nawala na si Zakarius sa paningin ko, pero wala na ’kong pakialam. Bahala siya sa buhay niya, malandi siya!

HINATID AKO ni Castor sa bahay nang matapos ang party. I’ll just apologize to him tomorrow, wala talaga ako sa mood buong gabi kaya hindi ko siya kinakausap.

Pumasok na ako sa bahay, basta ko na lang hinagis ang pouch ko sa sofa at agad na nagtungo sa kuwarto ko. I removed my sandals and threw it on the floor and then opened the lights.

I gasped in shock when I saw Zakarius lying on the bed, sleeping. Agad akong lumapit sa kanya at niyugyog ang balikat niya.

What the fuck is he doing here in my house?!

Amoy alak siya, namumula rin ang mukha niya lalo na ang ilong at tainga niya. Mukhang marami siyang nainom.

I just rolled my eyes and sit on the bed, beside him. Maybe he enjoyed drinking with those actresses that’s why he’s so drunk right now. He’s really a manwh-re, I hate him so much.

Nakatagilid siya at nakaharap ngayon sa puwesto ko habang nakayakap sa unan ko. Dahan-dahan akong humiga sa tabi niya at tinitigan siya.

A smile formed on my lips when he started murmuring something I couldn’t understand. I restrained myself from laughing and just watched his innocent sleeping face.

Pakiramdam ko kusang umangat ang kamay ko upang hawakan ang ilang hibla ng buhok niya. I bit my lower lip and gently curled his soft hair on my finger while staring at him. My hand goes down to his face, I gently caressed her cheek. I can feel something in my stomach that I couldn’t explain. I gulped and looked down to his luscious lips, his lips is more beautiful than mine. I smiled when he nuzzled on my pillow and hugged it tightly.

My heart is so weak when it comes to his cute side. He’s the cutest sleeping man on this entire planet. Damn, I won’t get tired staring at his sleeping face… so heavenly.

I was taken aback when he suddenly opened his eyes. I gasped exaggeratedly. Babangon na sana ako ngunit agad niyang nahawakan ang baywang ko at hinila ako papalapit sa kanya.

Halos magwala ang puso ko nang isiksik niya ako sa dibdib niya at niyakap nang mahigpit. I think my cheeks are literally heating up right now.

I did my best to push him but I’m too weak, my whole body is convulsing because of the emotion building up in my heart. I just bit my lower lip when he pulled me closer and inhaled the top of my hair.

“H’wag ka ng magalit sa ’kin,” bulong niya saka hinaplos ang buhok ko.

Mas lalong nanghina ang buong katawan ko dahil sa sinabi niya.

“I’m sorry, come back to me, please. I’ll do everything you want, I’ll give everything you want… Please stop making me jealous,” he murmured in a deep husky voice. My pulse raced as my body shivered. Damn, what is he doing to me?

Napatingin ako sa mukha niya, natigilan ako nang mapansing nakapikit siya. Is he sleep talking right now?

“A-are you talking to Jaze?” I asked while still staring at him. Napalunok na lang ako nang hindi na ulit siya nagsalita.

I bit my lower lip and touched his chest gently. I sighed and hugged him, I closed my eyes and nuzzled on his neck. He smells so good, kahit pa amoy alak siya nangingibabaw pa rin ang mabangong amoy niya.

I know he’s thinking about Jaze right now, but fuck everything. I just want to hug him and think that I own him just for tonight… Kahit ngayong gabi lang.

“Angel.”

I opened my eyes and looked at his face. His eyes are still closed, mabigat pa rin ang paghinga niya, tulog pa rin siya.

I bit my lower lip, my cheeks heated up. He’s just calling my name but my heart’s already beating like my life depends on it.

“Angel? W-what do you mean Angel?” I asked, still staring at his handsome face.

“Please, come back to me, Angel,” he whispered.

Mas lalong naghuramentado ang puso ko. Yumakap na lang ako sa batok niya at muling sumubsob sa leeg niya. I bit the insides of my cheeks, trying to stop myself from screaming.

Damn, he’s not talking about Jaze… he’s talking about me.

Chapter Eleven

“Hmm…”

Mas iniyakap ko ang mga braso at mga hita ko kay Zakarius. I sniffed his neck and nuzzled my face there. I don’t want to get up anymore, I just want to hug him like this.

“Angel,” he whispered. He held my waist, trying to push me gently because I’m hugging him too much.

My eyes widened when I realized something. Agad akong napabangon at lumayo sa kanya. I took my comforter and covered myself with it.

“D-don’t get me wrong, you sleepwalker! Niyakap lang kita nang gano’n dahil bigla ka na lang natayo at naglalakad!” agad na sabi ko at dinuro-duro pa siya.

I bit my lower lip, I suddenly want to punch myself right now. Masyado akong na-carried away sa pagyakap sa kanya. Pero totoo namang niyakap ko lang siya nang gano’n dahil bigla na lang siyang natayo at naglalakad. Kaya wala na akong nagawa kundi yakapin siya nang mahigpit, pati legs ko ay pinulupot ko sa baywang niya para lang hindi siya makatayo.

Zakarius didn’t say anything, he just blinked twice, maybe he’s not aware that he’s a sleepwalker. Damn, he’s cute but it will be dangerous for him. Paano kung nakalabas siya ng bahay at nasagasaan?

“By the way, what the fuck are you doing here in my house?! Diba I told you na stay away from me? Ano ba ang hindi mo ma-gets do’n?” singhal ko sa kanya.

Zakarius sighed and stroked his hair using his hand. Napaismid na lang ako at umiwas ng tingin sa kanya. I’m still mad at him and I won’t forgive him.

“I’m sorry, I was just too drunk last night,” he murmured. I looked at him, namumula nang kaunti ang mukha niya. Dahil siguro sa sobrang kalasingan niya kagabi.

“If you’re okay now, then leave. Paglabas ko ng banyo, dapat wala ka na rito,” I said firmly and stood up. Agad akong nagtungo sa banyo at iniwan siya sa kuwarto.

Agad kong tiningnan ang sarili ko sa malaking salamin dito sa banyo. I looked at my face and gently touched my cheeks. My goodness, buti na lang wala akong muta or panis na laway. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag.

I shook my head and gently slapped my face. What the hell am I thinking? I should be mad at him, bakit parang excited pa ako na nandito siya?

No, get a grip of yourself, Angel . I shouldn’t fall in his trap again. I’m sure he’s just manipulating me, trying to poison my mind. Huh, he won’t succeed. I’m Angel Mendoza, I won’t get involved with the likes of him anymore. Damn him for confusing me like this.

I spent a lot of time in the bathroom, I made sure I smell good and look pretty as always. I don’t know if he’s still here kapag lumabas na ako ng banyo, pero maganda na ang sigurado.

Sinuot ko ang robe ko at agad na lumabas ng banyo. Bumagsak ang mga balikat ko nang makitang wala na si Zakarius sa silid ko. I don’t know why I’m disappointed, e ako naman ang nagpaalis sa kanya. Nababaliw na rin yata talaga ako.

I just shrugged off and wore something nice. I wore a off-shoulder blouse and paired it with a palazzo pants. Cassian said I can take a rest for today but I still want to wear nice clothes. Kahit mag-isa lang ako gusto ko palagi pa ring maganda ang suot ko. I don’t know why, siguro maarte lang talaga ako.

“Damn that man, he really left. Ni hindi man lang nagpaalam,” I murmured while applying minimal make up on my face.

Lumabas ako ng kuwarto pagkatapos kong mag-ayos at dumiretso sa kusina ngunit natigilan ako sa nadatnan ko.

“What the hell are you still doing here, Zakarius?!”

I put my hands on my waist and glared at him. Zakarius turned his gaze at me shortly, pero agad niya ring ibinalik ang atensyon sa niluluto.

I calmed my heart from getting too excited knowing that he’s still here, cooking something while wearing my pink apron. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling. Damn this man.

I noticed that he’s already wearing a different clothes. He’s wearing a plain white t-shirt and a sweatpants. Where did he even get that? Wala naman akong ganiyang damit.

“Zakarius, I’m talking to you!”

Lumapit ako sa kanya at nakapamaywang na tiningnan siya nang masama. Nanatili naman siyang tahimik at nilagay sa plato ang niluluto niyang pancake.

Nakain siya ng pancake?

“Do you want pancake?” he asked and pointed the pancake on the plate. His blue eyes seem so innocent right now. Fuck, I’m so weak when it comes to his cute side. I just rolled my eyes at him and stomped my feet.

“I’m serious, Zak. I told you to leave, why are you still here?!” I asked and crossed my arms over my chest.

Itinuro niya ang couch sa living room, napataas ang kilay ko at tiningnan ang tinuturo niya. Napaawang ang labi ko nang makitang may malaking bag do’n.

“What’s with that bag? Iyan ba ang mga gamit ko?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko.

“No, that’s my clothes… I’ll stay here from now on,” he said and sat on the chair.

My lips parted, I instantly covered my mouth with my hand and looked at him with disbelief. Is this a prank or what?

“I’m fucking serious, Zakarius!” I exclaimed and slammed the table with my hands. He seems unbothered, nagawa niya pang kumain ng pancake kahit halos nagwawala na ako rito.

“I’m fucking serious too,” he said and stared at me. Fuck, he’s so handsome.

“No way! You can’t stay here, I won’t allow it, I will never allow it!”

“Let’s just think that I’m your victim and you kidnapped me,” tila wala lang na sabi niya saka muling kumain ng pancake.

Damn, he’s so cute while eating that pancake. I wanna pinch his cheeks.

“You’re my victim?! Sinong biktima ang kusang napunta sa kidnapper niya?!” I asked exaggeratedly.

“Ako,” tipid na sagot niya saka muling kumain.

I slumped on the chair and massaged my temple. Sumasakit ang ulo ko sa kanya, pero normal bang mainis sa kanya habang nakakaramdam ng mga paru-paro sa tiyan ko?

This is all his fault, nababaliw na ako ng dahil sa kanya.

“Do you have a pool here? By the way, you don’t have meats in your refrigerator, why don’t you start storing meats for me? And I don’t like the design of your house, too girly. Why don’t you consider changing the color scheme? Gray is much better. And the most important thing, do you have extra room? I don’t want to sleep on the couch. I’m too big for your girly couch so I need a room to sleep. Your room is quite big as well as the bed, we can sleep there together if you don’t mind.”

My forehead furrowed because of what he just said. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling. Damn, why did I find it so cute? Iyon na yata ang pinakamahabang sinabi niya. Zakarius is a man of few words that’s why I suddenly want to laugh my ass off.

“Ginagaya mo ba ako?” tanong ko, I still did my best to sound maldita and lifted an eyebrow.

Zakarius crossed his arms above his chest and looked intently at me, I almost melted because of the intensity of his blue eyes.

“I’ll stay here, Ms. Kidnapper,” he said and the corner of his lips turned up.

Damn, why is he so hot?

“Ms. Kidnapper? When did I kidnap you? Wala akong maalala,” nakataas-kilay na sabi ko na lang.

“Last night, you kidnapped me using you arms and legs. I was sleeping peacefully but you imprisoned me with your tight hug. So you kidnapped me, end of conversation,” he said and continued eating his pancake.

Where the fuck did he even get that? I don’t have a pancake mix or something here.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at binuksan ang ref. Napasinghap ako nang makitang maraming meat at fish doon. Tiningnan ko nang masama si Zakarius. Hindi naman niya ako binalingan ng tingin at tumuloy lang sa pagkain.

I sighed when I saw a box of cake in my ref, may ice cream din, cupcakes and chocolates. The heck, halos napuno ang ref ko ng dahil sa kanya.

Kumuha na lang ako ng fruits at hiniwa ang mga ’yon saka nilagay sa blender. Pagkatapos kumuha ako ng one slice ng bread at inilagay iyon sa toaster. Nang matapos na ’ko, umupo na lang ako sa tapat niya.

“Zakarius, take your foods out of my refrigerator and I won’t let you stay here in my house, I only have one room here and I will never let you sleep beside me. No way!” I exclaimed and took a bite of my bread.

Hindi siya sumagot. Napairap na lang ako at naiinis na kumagat ulit sa tinapay. Hindi magiging maganda kapag dito siya tumuloy because he’s a meat lover. He also like sweets, mananaba ako kapag nandito siya.

Zakarius drank his water and looked directly in my eyes. I just chewed my lower lip and avoided his gaze. Why does he have to look so sinfully handsome? And why the hell am I always complimenting him in my mind?

“Are you still mad at me?”

My eyebrow shot up with his question. I looked at him and took a deep breath. I crossed my arms over my chest, nakipaglabanan ako ng titig sa kanya.

“Why would I be mad at you? Hmm?” I asked and drank my fruit shake.

Hindi siya nakasagot. Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa ’kin. I know I’m always pretty but I suddenly felt conscious, why is he staring at me like that as if he’s examining my face and rating it.

“I’m sorry, I was too insensitive. I shouldn’t have said that after what happened,” he apologized while still looking directly at me.

Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. I can feel my cheeks heating up but I remained calm as possible as I can. Akala ko hindi na siya hihingi ng tawad, hindi naman kasi halata sa hitsura niya na marunong siya humingi ng tawad.

“Whatever,” sabi ko na lang at tumayo. Kinuha ko ang baso na pinag-inuman ko at nilagay ’yon sa sink.

I was about to leave the kitchen but he immediately grabbed my wrist. I looked at him as my forehead furrowed. He pulled me closer to him and hugged me.

My heart almost comes out of my ribcage, my whole body shivered and my pulse raced. My heart thudded in my chest, it’s uncontrollable. It’s beating so fast I almost faint. I can smell his manly perfume and his natural scent. Damn, my whole body literally weakened.

Isinandal niya ang baba sa balikat ko at mas inilapit ang baywang ko sa katawan niya. Natulala na lang ako, hindi ako makahinga nang ayos. What the hell am I still doing? Why am I not pushing him away?

“Let me stay here, please. I won’t touch you without your consent,” he whispered on my ear and nuzzled his face on my neck. I just bit my lower lip and took a deep breath.

“B-but you’re touching me right now without my consent,” I murmured, stuttering.

“This one is an exception,” he mumbled and hugged me tighter.

Damn, my heart and body isn’t even complaining.

“L-let me go,” I whispered and tried to push him but he’s too strong, or maybe because I’m just too weak for him.

Wala na akong nagawa at hinayaan na lang siya na yakapin ako, habang ang puso ko ay nagwawala na, pati na rin ang mga paru-paro sa tiyan ko.

No, I don’t like him. Yes, I don’t like him… Damn, I’m so confused.

---

“Where the hell is he?” I murmured while wiping my wet hair.

Natulog ako maghapon, minsan lang ako pagpahingahin ni Cassian ng isang buong araw kaya sinamantala ko na.

Lumabas ako ng kuwarto ko. Hindi ko nakita si Zak maghapon, kasi malamang tulog ako. Saan na kaya nagpunta ang lalaking ’yon?

I was taken aback when I saw him sitting on the couch while watching some movie. I chewed my lower lip when I saw him eating strawberry ice cream. Damn this man, palagi na lang niya akong sino-sorpresa sa mga bagay na ginagawa niya.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at tinaasan siya ng kilay. Tumingin naman siya sa ’kin ngunit agad ding ibinaling ang tingin sa pinapanood.

Damn, he’s watching my family-theme melodrama movie last year.

“You’re a good actress,” he murmured while eating his ice cream. I just rolled my eyes at him, why did it sound so sarcastic?

“Of course, I’m not just good, I’m the best actress and model,” I said and pointed the shelf of my trophies in the corner of my house and smirked at him.

He turned his gaze at my trophies. He just shrugged and just continued watching.

“I don’t like romance, most of your awards are from romance movies and dramas. By the way, don’t you have other movies here? Puro mukha mo ang nakikita ko sa files,” he murmured and continued eating his ice cream. My mouth agaped. My goodness, how dare he?

“For your information, hindi romance lahat ang movies at drama ko. Right now, you’re watching one of the highest grossing film last year. It’s about family, struggles of family, there’s no romance in there. Ang yabang mo porke’t most controversial movie of the year ang Political Parties,” nakataas-kilay na sabi ko at kumuha ng unan sa couch saka ibinato sa kanya.

“Ah, that was the best movie I directed. I really enjoyed that, I almost died thrice after directing that movie.”

Muntik na nga siyang mamatay, natuwa pa siya?!

“Kailan mo balak umalis?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.

“I’ll stay here or you’ll stay at my house… Your choice,” he said, emotionless, as usual. Bakit lahat naman yata ay pabor sa kanya?

“Damn you!” naiinis na sabi ko at muli siyang binato ng unan.

Iniwan ko na lang siya ro’n at nagtungo sa kusina saka kumuha ng saging. Hanggang ngayon naiinis pa rin ako sa daming laman ng ref ko. Sa totoo lang, nito ko lang nalaman na mahilig kumain si Zakarius.

Bumalik ako sa living room at umupo rin sa couch, medyo malayo rin ang pagitan namin ni Zak. Masyado siyang tutok na tutok sa pinapanood niya. Why isn’t he crying? Wala yatang hindi naiyak nang mapanood ang movie ko na ’yan.

I peeled my banana and stared at it. My forehead creased when I realized something. I looked at Zakarius and then looked at my banana again.

“Zak.”

Napatingin siya sa ’kin nang tawagin ko siya. Ngumisi ako sa kanya saka ipinakita sa kanya ang saging.

“Look at this banana, it’s so long, so huge, so fat…” I whispered seductively and bit my lower lip.

I gently licked the banana’s top while staring at him. I saw how his Adam’s apple moved and how his jaw clenched, I smirked in triumph. I’ll tease the hell out of him, tingnan natin kung tumagal ka pa rito.

“What a smooth… tasty banana,” I whispered and licked the banana from its bottom to its top while staring at his blue eyes.

Hindi maalis ang tingin niya sa ’kin. Gusto kong mapangisi nang mapansing humigpit ang paghawak niya sa kutsara na tila ba nanggigigil siya.

“I love big bananas, Zak. They are so good, good for my health… and good for my body,” I murmured and gently bit the top of the banana.

His blue eyes focused on my tongue, I can see blazing desire in his eyes, it excites me more, I want to tease him more.

I swirled my tongue at the top of the banana while looking intently at him. Nawala na ang focus niya sa TV at ice cream. Napangisi na lang ako nang ilapag niya ang ice cream sa mini table at akmang lalapit sa ’kin nang pigilan ko siya gamit ang paa ko.

“Na-uh, stay there. I want to enjoy my banana, just watch me… You promised me you won’t touch me without my consent, right?” I asked in my most seductive voice and licked my lower lip.

I put the banana inside my mouth, his eyes widened. Kinagat ko ang saging saka agad na nginuya iyon. Ngumiti ako nang matamis sa kanya saka muling kumagat sa saging.

“Wow, this banana is so good. You want some?” tanong ko saka inilapit sa kanya ang saging na kalahati na lang.

Zakarius didn’t say anything. He’s just staring at me, this is a weird thing to say but his blue eyes darkened with unknown emotion. It feels like he wants to devour me, to own me… Or am I just exaggerating?

“Aahhh!” Napatili ako nang hilahin niya ang paa ko papalapit sa kanya. He took my banana from me and put it on the table. I bit my lower lip when he suddenly positioned himself on top of me.

“You want something better than banana?” he asked in a deep husky voice, probably the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard.

I sexily bit my lower lip and touched his chest, I swirled my finger on his hard chest, teasing him.

“Is there something better than banana?” I asked seductively and stared in his blue eyes.

My mind is telling me to stop this because it will definitely lead us to something we will both regret. I don’t know why my body isn’t following my mind.

He crushed his lips on mine. I groaned and instantly hugged his nape, I can taste the strawberry ice cream from his mouth, but oddly, I find it hot and sexy… His strawberry flavored kiss makes me crazy.

“Z-Zak.” I gently pushed his chest and looked at him seriously. I gulped and bit my lower lip.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” bulong niya at akmang aalis sa ibabaw ko nang hawakan ko nang mahigpit ang t-shirt niya.

“S-sasabihin mo ba sa ’kin na kalimutan ko na lang ang lahat pagkatapos nito?” tanong ko saka napaiwas ng tingin sa kanya.

Zakarius sighed and gently caressed my cheek. I was stunned when he softly kissed my cheek with much tenderness and care. Marahan niyang hinawakan ang baba ko at pinaharap ako sa kanya. Napapikit na lang ako nang dampian niya nang magaan na halik ang labi ko.

“I won’t tell you to forget it… I want you to remember everything we’ll do, I want you to remember every single detail… How I touch you, how I kiss you, how I pleasure you, and how my c-ck is better than that fucking banana.”

Chapter Twelve

“Zak… B-baka malaglag tayo,” bulong ko nang basta na lang ako nitong buhatin.

He didn’t answer. He just encircled my legs around his waist and crushed his lips on mine. I hugged his nape and instantly responded to his kiss. It feels like my lips are moving on its own every time our lips touch.

His hot tongue traveled inside my mouth while walking to my room, still carrying me. I don’t know how he managed to do that. Wala na rin akong pakialam, nalulunod na ako sa mga halik niya. Kumalas siya sa paghalik sa ’kin at niyakap na lang ang baywang ko. I nuzzled my face on his neck, I suddenly felt embarrassed. I’m so desperate with his kisses, I’m not like this before.

Hindi ko alam kung paano niya nagawang makarating sa kuwarto ko. Binuksan niya ang pinto at isinara ’yon saka muling siniil ng halik ang labi ko. Iniupo niya ako sa bedside table at hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi ko habang patuloy ang paghalik niya sa labi ko.

His kiss was slow, gentle, and passionate unlike earlier. Every move of his lips and tongue makes my knees shiver. My whole body is quivering against his sensual kiss. His tongue is sending shivers of desire down to my spine. Nagtatayuan ang mga balahibo ko sa banayad niyang halik na para bang ingat na ingat siyang h’wag akong masaktan.

His hot and sexy lips demanded a response, I moved my lips against his, tasting all the corners of his mouth. I hugged his nape and grind my body against his hard one. He released a needy and sexy groan and hugged my waist tightly, as if he owns me. Tila ba ayaw ako nitong pakawalan at tila ba sa kanya lang ako nararapat.

I was panting when he released my lips from his kiss. My lips were still warm and sensitive from his sensual kiss. My lips parted while still panting. Damn, I still want his lips on mine.

My body shivered as he planted small kisses on my neck. I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip. I arched my body, giving him more access, and hugged his nape tighter. He held my held my jaw and ravished my lips with his hungry kisses once again.

He scooped me and carried me to the bed. Dahan-dahan niya akong inihiga sa kama, puno ng pag-iingat, saka muling pumaibabaw sa ’kin.

Zakarius’ hands start caressing my body, he put his hand inside my nightgown and gently stroked my thigh. His calloused hand is sending shivers down to my spine, I felt electrified. Ginigising ng haplos at halik niya ang bawat himaymay ng katawan ko.

Zakarius was taken aback when I held his shoulder and switched our position. I sat on his hard stomach and hungrily kissed his luscious lips. I caressed his hard chest and start grinding my center part against his hard stomach. Damn, when did I become this horny?

Umupo si Zakarius at niyakap ang baywang ko. Yumakap naman ako sa batok niya habang patuloy na nakikipaglabanan ng mainit na halik sa kanya.

Zakarius held the strap of my nightgown and let it down. I closed my eyes when his mouth reached my neck, kissing me there, teasing my sensitive skin and licking it with his hot tongue. He licked his way down to my shoulder, kissing and licking it with urge and desire.

I start grinding my hips against his erection. I can feel his hard on inside his thin pajama. I bit my lower lip and gripped his jaw, he was taken aback when I planted soft kisses on his cheeks, down to his prominent jaw, to his neck… He released a ferocious groan and gripped my hips tightly, pulling me closer to him.

I slowly put my hand inside his shirt amd caressed his firm abs, I licked his jaw while sensually stroking his abs.

“What the hell are you doing?” he murmured in a raspy voice.

“I’m just touching you,” I whispered on his ear and licked his earlobe. I smirked when I felt him shivered. Good thing I have an effect on him too.

My hand goes down until it reached his pajamas. He gripped my waist tighter when I put my hand inside his pajama and his boxer. I bit my lower lip when I finally touched his hard length.

“Damn, Zakarius… You have a fucking huge–fuck. Why is this so long and… Fuck, I’m speechless,” I murmured, my mouth agape when I stroked his shaft with my delicate hand.

His heavy and hot breath was ragged against my neck. I looked at his reaction and I’m so satisfied seeing him closing his eyes and bitting his lower lip. His perfect jaw clenched as he gripped my waist.

I slowly moved my hand up and down around his c-ck. Hindi ko pa nagawa ’to noon, I’m not sure if I’m doing it right, but his reaction is pushing me continue.

His manhood is pulsating in my hand. Honestly, I’m still shocked at how huge his c-ck is. I’m a little bit scared but I still want to show him that I’m confident even though his manhood can literally crush me.

“Fuck, Angel…” he murmured when my hand’s movement became faster.

I played with the tip of his c-ck using my thumb and encircled it. His luscious lips parted and released a sexy moan. I just bit my lower lip and stroked my hand faster. Bakit mas lumalaki yata ’yon ? Ang weird.

“Stop…” he said, panting, and took my hand away from his manhood.

“Why? I’m not yet done,” I murmured and pouted my lips.

Hindi na lang nagsalita si Zakarius at walang pasabi na inihiga ako sa kama. I gasped in shock when he ripped my nightgown without warning.

“Fuck you, Zak! That was expensive! You’ll pay for–” He didn’t let me finish, he immediately kissed my lips.

Hindi na lang ako nagreklamo nang ihagis niya ang nasira ko ng nightgown. He put his hand on my back and expertly unclasped my brassiere from behind and threw it just like what he did to my ripped nightgown.

His raking gaze drop from my eyes, down to my neck, to my shoulders, then my breasts. I bit my lower lip and avoided his raking gaze.

“I-I know you’re disappointed, I don’t have huge breasts, t-they’re just small… I know I’m not that sexy like what you saw on TV. So what?” I muttered, stuttering. I’m always full of confidence… Hindi ko alam kung bakit palagi akong nahihiya at nagiging conscious sa sarili ko pagdating kay Zakarius.

Zakarius held my jaw gently and made me face him. He looked at me with tender eyes, full of fire and desire. It feels like his blue eyes are caressing my whole body, the intensity of his eyes are too much.

“You’re so beautiful, your body is beyond perfect… Everything about you is perfect in my eyes,” he murmured. My heart throbbed with his remark. I bit my lower lip as my cheeks heated. Tumaas nang sampung beses ang confidence ko dahil sa sinabi niya kahit alam kong hindi perpekto ang katawan ko.

He kissed me again, his tongue and lips are so tender and full of care. I groaned against his sensual kiss when I felt his hand gently fondling my small bosom, molding it. I bit his lower lip when I felt his thumb playing with my breast’s sensitive tip.

“Aaahhh… Z-Zak,” I moaned. I gripped his muscled arm and arched my body when his mouth reached my neck while caressing my breast.

My eyes dilated when he swirled his tongue on my neck’s sensitive skin. I gasped when he starts sucking my neck, leaving a mark there.

“Z-Zak, m-may shooting ako bukas… Oohhh!” I shouted as my toes curled when he starts tweaking my nipple, encircling his fingers around it.

He sucked the other part of my neck again. I just closed my eyes and let him do what he wants… Bahala na lang bukas.

His mouth goes down until it reached my mounds. I gripped his hair as my body arched when I felt his hot lips near my nipple. I achingly groaned and pulled his head closer to my bosom, urging him to lick my aching nub.

“Z-Zak… Please, please,” I begged and pulled him closer.

I released a needy moan when he lashed my pebble-hard nipple with the tip of his tongue. I buried my head on the pillow because he’s literally torturing me with his sinful tongue.

“Aaahhh! Zak! Zakarius, oohhh…” My eyes dilated with desire when he took my flushed red nub into his mouth and starts sucking it lustily like his life depended on it.

I panted and writhed underneath him. I want him to stop but I also want him to do more… I can’t understand myself anymore. Nalulunod na ako sa init ng ginagawa niya.

I spread my legs to at least release the heat building up inside me, but Zakarius’ hand goes down, he put his hand inside my underwear and touched my soaking womanhood. I groaned in much need and spread my legs wider for him.

He alternately suckled on both of my nipples. My hands weakened when his tongue starts flicking my sensitive aching nipple. I gasped exaggeratedly when he took my bud between his tongue and teeth, making it harder and more sensitive. 

“Aaahh! Z-Zak, more, please,” I begged and grind my hips against his hand.

He teased my aching cl-t and starts flicking it with his index finger. My toes curled, I helplessly clung on his nape, arching my body, offering myself to him completely.

His fingers teased my wet feminity, his fingers separated my folds and played with my insides. The tingling sensation is too much, my whole body is electrified by his hot touch. My lips parted and my eyes dilated. I can’t take this anymore… This is too much to bear.

“Zak. Take me, please… I can’t take it anymore,”I mumbled and thrust my hips against his expert fingers.

“Relax,” he murmured in a husky voice and kissed my cheeks softly. I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip. Damn, this is so frustrating.

“Z-Zak…”

“Yes, my Angel… Feel how wet you are for me, only for me,” he whispered and while still playing with my soaking flesh. My center part feels sticky and wet, I’m not comfortable but I can’t stop him because I love what he’s doing right now.

My eyes instanly opened when he removed his hand in my underwear. Saglit siyang bumangon at hinubad ang t-shirt niya.

I bit my lower lip when I saw his snake tattoo again. My hand moves on its own and gently touched his tattoo. I’m still not used to seeing his body like this. He’s so ripped, so strong, I feel so weak beneath him. But if feels good, my soft and delicate body matched with his strong muscular one.

“Zak…” I muttered when he pulled my underwear down. He raised my legs and took my underwear off my body. He gave me a sexy smirk and inhaled my underwear. I bit my lower lip as my cheeks heated. I avoided his gaze because of embarrassment. Damn this man.

He put my underwear beside him and spread my legs. I looked at him to see his reaction. His eyes are burning with desire and need, he gave my exposed womanhood a hot, blazing, and raking gaze I almost melted. I’m sure my cheeks are crimson red right now.

His abs clenched when he released his proud manhood and let it sprang free from his pajamas. He hastily removed his pajamas together with his boxer. My lips parted when I finally saw his bare length. He spread my legs again and positioned himself in between. I unconsciously bit my lower lip when I felt the tip of his manhood on the opening of my hole. I closed my eyes and arched my body.

“I’m giving you a chance to back out,” tila nahihirapang anas niya saka isinubsob ang mukha sa leeg ko.

I hugged his nape and pushed myself against his body that earned a lusty moan from him. His jaw clenched and suck the skin on my neck.

“Take me,” I murmured and spread my legs wider for him.

His jaw tightened, he gripped both of my legs and pushed himself deeper in my center. My mouth agape when I felt his c-ck slowly penetrating my womanhood. Pain stabbed me, substituting the pleasure and desire I felt moments ago. My opening felt so stretched because of his enormous length’s penetration. The thick head of his c-ck lodged inside me.

“Fucking hell… You’re a virgin? B-but I thought–” I didn’t let him finish and just crushed my lips on his.

I let out a soft cry, and gripped his nape tightly. Fuck his huge c-ck… Parang hinahati ang katawan ko.

“Inhale, my angel… Relax,” he murmured while caressing my cheek. I gulped and tried to relax.

I inhaled deeply, I bit my lower lip when he pushed himself inside me slowly, letting me adjust to his size.

“Now, exhale,” he whispered and planted kisses on my cheeks, down to my jaw while gently caressing my bossoms and my waist.

I exhaled, he eased himself out of my womanhood as I exhale. Kahit papa’no, kumakalma na ako, masakit pa rin ngunit nababawasan na kahit papa’no.

He slid his hardness back in slowly. Nakikita ko na nahihirapan siya sa ginagawa ngunit pilit niyang pinakakalma ang sarili. I just closed my eyes tightly and suppress myself from letting out a sob.

“Relax, my angel… you’re so tight, it’s hard to penetrate,” he whispered and clutched the bedsheets, tila ba ro’n niya inilalabas ang pagpipigil.

I spread my legs, tried to relax and inhaled deeply. I was inhaling while he’s entering and exhaling while he was pulling out. I bit my lower lip when he nuzzled on my neck while playing with my nipples. He licked, kissed, and sucked my skin there, trying to distract me from the pain.

“Fuck, you’re clenching, so tight… Ahh, fuck,” he moaned huskily and starts thrusting a little bit faster inside me. I clung on his nape as my eyes dilated because of unknown feeling subsiding the pain I felt earlier.

His moans alone are turning me on, causing an electrifying ruckus in my heart. I hugged his waist using my legs and moved my hips with his to keep up with his movements. I bit my lower lip when I felt something inside me I couldn’t explain. The tingling sensation that his hardness gives is making me insane. With shivering hands, I gripped his muscled arm and thrust my hips even though I can still feel a little bit pain. It was bearable now, the pleasurable feeling of warmth and heat stole over me. Paniguradong masisiraan ako ng bait kapag itinigil namin ’to.

I chewed my lower lip when I heard the loud creaking of my bed. I just closed my eyes and feel the friction of his manhood in my flesh.

“Z-Zakarius! Aahhh! More, please, oohhh!” I moaned loudly when he pulled his length out and then slammed it again inside me with much force. My toes curled. I can feel he’s hitting something so erogenous deep inside my womanhood. Nagtatayuan ang mga balahibo ko at literal na namginginig ang mga tuhod ko sa tuwing natatamaan niya ’yon.

Zakarius buried his face on my neck again and fondled my breast, teasing my nipples using his index finger and thumb, tweaking it while licking and sucking my neck as his huge c-ck banged my wetness, a desirable shudder heated my body, my heart is beating wildly inside my ribcage as if it wants to come out. The feeling he’s giving to me right now is so good, I couldn’t think of anything anymore.

“Aaahhh! So good, Zakarius, fuck me more… P-please, oohhh!” I can’t control myself from shouting his name, the sensation is making me a prisoner of pleasure. I just want to release this blazing heat inside my body, I want him to do me more, to rammed his huge shaft inside me without stopping.

Zakarius held my right leg and clung it on his sexy and broad shoulder. His blue eyes is staring at me, burning with desire, penetrating my system as if he owns me. I just bit my lower lip and stared at him with equal fire as I lifted my hips to meet his deep and rough strokes.

“Z-Zakarius, aaahhh! Hmmm, y-you’re the best… Aaahh!” I writhed underneath him. Hindi na ako mapakali at kung saan-saan na lang kumakapit, pati sariling buhok ko ay nasasabunutan ko na.

“That’s right, you’re mine… Fucking mine,” he moaned and held the sides of my waist tightly, thrusting and pounding like a hungry beast inside me. The bed is creaking like hell, natatakot ako na baka kama ko naman ang masira. He’s now uncontrollable, tila ba nagdilim ang paningin niya at nagiging mapangahas na ang pag-ulos nito sa ibabaw ko. Napakapit ako sa balikat niya.

“Z-Zakarius… T-the bed will–aaahhh! Y-yes, ooohhh, please!” I don’t know what’s going on anymore. Masisiraan na ako ng bait.

I bit my lower lip when I felt something building up inside my tummy. My eyes dilated when he slammed his c-ck harder, my breasts are jiggling because of his rough thrusts, he fondled them while banging my wetness, I can’t keep up with his movements anymore. My whole body is quivering, I’m literally writhing underneath him, begging for release.

My womanhood tightened around his hard shaft, Zakarius released a rough groan because of that. He held my shoulder and moved his hips faster. He pressed his c-ck harder inside me, my mouth parted, catching my breath. My pulse throbbed with his savage movements, it feels like my soft body will crush beneath his hard one.

“Z-Zakarius… I-I’m near, aaahh! P-please, more, faster… Fuck me harder, please, oohhh!”

My lips parted when I felt something building up, damn, I’m fucking near, I’m reaching my climax. Fuck. I’ll go crazy, he’s making me crazy.

One deep thrust and I finally had my release. My body arched against his as my toes curled. My whole body is quivering as I reach my orgasm. It feels like the tension inside me finally exploded.

“Hmm…” I moaned and bit my lower lip. That was the best feeling ever, so mind-blowing and so pleasurable.

His pulsating shaft is now covered with my fluid, he’s still thrusting like a madman inside me. I buried my head on the pillow. I’m panting hard, sweats are glistening on my body, I feel so drained.

My lips parted when he pulled his c-ck out of my flesh. Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko nang walang kahirap-hirap na pinatalikod ako nito saka pinatuwad kahit hinang hina ang mga tuhod ko. Hinawakan niya ang dalawang kamay ko at pinakapit iyon sa metal headboard ng kama.

He lifted my butt and spread my legs. I moaned helplessly when he shoved his hardness inside me from my behind. He held the sides of waist tightly while banging his c-ck inside me.

I gripped the iron headboard tightly. Ang lakas ng pagbangga ng bed frame sa pader pero mukhang walang pakialam do’n si Zakarius.

I just bit my lower lip and closed my eyes as his body slammed on my rounded butt. Nahirapan akong kumapit sa headboard dahil pinagpapawisan ang mga kamay ko.

“Damn, even your back looks sexy as hell… You feel so good, fuck,” he mumbled while thrusting from my behind.

“Z-Zakarius, aaahhh! P-please, own me…” I moaned as my eyes dilated with unbearable pleasure.

“Grip the headboard tighter, my angel. Don’t let it go or I’ll stop… Damn, so fucking tight,” he murmured sexily and fondled my breast gently with his left hand.

“Aahhh,” I moaned helplessly when he gripped my hair while thrusting roughly inside me. My insides are clenching, it feels like something inside me is about to burst again.

Kahit na nangangawit na ang mga braso ko, hindi ko pa rin binitiwan ang metal headboard dahil baka tumigil talaga siya. I grind my butt against his hard and deep thrusts. I never thought I’ll become a submissive like this. Damn him for fucking me so good.

“Fuck, yes, my angel… Move that sexy derriere,” he mumbled while ramming his shaft in my wetness like there’s no tomorrow.

I bit my lower lip as my insides tightened, his c-ck is now throbbing inside me, wanting to release something just like me.

Napasinghap na lang ako nang basta na lang nitong hinawakan ang baywang ko at muli akong pinahiga.

“Z-Zakarius…”

He spread my legs wider and slammed his c-ck inside me once again. I moaned when he pulled his shaft out and slammed it inside me again. Heat rushed through my veins and the tingling sensation made me quiver as waves of pleasure lingered in my body. I shouted his name, writhed underneath him, I’m lost in mind-blowing climax.

Zakarius pulled his glistening shaft out, he made a low sensual sound and stroked his hardness while staring at me with much need and flaming heat. I bit my lower lip as I watched him playing with himself. He closed his eyes and sexily bit his lower lip. He raised his head and moved his hand faster. I gulped and my lips parted when he released his semen on my stomach. I find it so hot, I’m not even disgusted.

“Fuck,” he murmured and collapsed above me.

Hindi niya ibinagsak ang buong bigat niya sa ’kin. Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko habang hinihingal pa rin hanggang ngayon.

Zakarius stroked his hair and stared at me. Tila napapaso ako sa titig niyang ’yan, nakakapanlambot lalo ng mga tuhod.

He took his t-shirt beside him and wiped his semen on my stomach. I just bit my lower lip while looking at him.

Damn, he’s so cute in everything he does, especially when sleeping… But he’s hot and wild and so good in fucking. Fuck the duality.

He caressed my cheek and planted small kisses all over my face. Literal na nag-init ang mukha ko sa ginawa niya. He’s not just a good fucker, he’s gentle and caring too. He made me feel so desirable and wanted. Damn him.

“I-I need to go to the bathroom,” I mumbled and stood up. Kahit hinang hina pa ang katawan ko, pinilit kong tumayo at magpunta sa banyo.

Agad akong nagtungo sa bathroom sink upang maghilamos. I looked at myself in the mirror. My face is crimson red, even my neck and my breasts. I cussed under my breath when I saw hickies on my neck.

Muli akong naghilamos at napabuntong hininga. Nanginginig pa rin nang sobra ang katawan ko. Napatingin ako sa salamin, napapitlag na lang ako nang makitang nakatayo si Zak sa likuran ko.

“Z-Zakarius, what are you–”

I gasped when he held my back and bent it. I gripped the bathroom sink tightly when he raised my right leg and pushed his hardness inside me again. I moaned helplessly and look at the mirror. Pangahas na bumayo na naman siya sa likuran ko.

He’s looking at me in the mirror with his intense eyes. He lifted my leg higher and starts banging his hips on my behind, slamming my wetness with his hardness. I bit my lower lip and released a breathy little moan. We look so hot in the mirror while he’s thrusting from my behind. I’m so tired… but fuck, he’s so hot that my body can’t resist him.

Chapter Thirteen

“Zak, let me go,” I murmured softly and tried to get off from his hug.

Imbis na bitiwan ako, hinigpitan lang lalo ni Zakarius ang pagyakap sa ’kin. I just rolled my eyes and just hugged him back. I nuzzled on his hard chest and hugged his waist. Damn, he smells so good right now. May bagong gising ba na mabango pa rin?

I lost count of how many times we did that last night. Zakarius was uncontrollable, idagdag pa na bumibigay rin ang katawan ko sa bawat haplos at halik niya. And because of that, my whole body is aching like hell, especially my legs and my lady part. I don’t think I can go to work right now. Magdadahilan na lang ako kay Cassian.

Zakarius pulled me closer to him and imprisoned me with his hug. Sakop na sakop ng katawan niya ang sa akin. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at tumingala upang tingnan siya. His eyes are still closed but I know he’s awake. Kanina ko pa nararamdaman na ninanakawan niya ako ng halik, saka kung tulog siya malamang wala na siya sa tabi ko at palakad-lakad na kung saan-saan.

“Zakarius, I need to take a shower,” I said and pushed him a little but he just hugged me tighter and kissed the top of my head. I bit my lower lip to restrain myself from smiling, damn this man.

“Later,” he murmured and put his hand inside my t-shirt, this is actually his shirt, pinahiram niya lang ako ng shirt. Sa tingin ko mapapadalas na ang paghiram ko ng damit sa kanya, parang dress na sa akin ang damit niya.

He’s now caressing my back, tracing the valley of my back with his long fingers. Literal na nagtayuan yata ang mga balahibo ko sa ginawa niya.

“Zak, I can’t take this anymore. I really need to take a shower,” I said and pushed his chest.

Kahit ang hirap kumilos, I still did my best to get up. I grimaced and held my legs. Kakabangon ko pa lang parang gusto ko na lang bumalik ulit sa kama, ang bigat ng buong katawan ko.

I was taken aback when Zakarius held my arm and carried me, bridal style. I instantly clung my arms on his nape. Damn, I’m so weak right now. This is all his fault, he’s so insatiable last night, we were having sex until fucking dawn. No one can keep up with his stamina.

“Let’s take a bath together,” he murmured and took me to the bathroom. I glared at him and punched his chest.

“Ligo lang ba talaga?” I asked suspiciously and raised my eyebrow. Sex is good, but honestly, I can’t do it right now. Hindi pa yata kaya ng katawan ko.

“I don’t force women, Angel, and I know you’re still sore down there,” bulong niya saka ibinaba na ako nang nasa banyo na kami.

I just cleared my throat and rolled my eyes at him. Damn him, I want him to call me my angel again just like last night. I couldn’t remember how many times he called me that, I found it so sweet. No one called me that before. Every time he says my angel, my heart throbs like crazy.

He removed the shirt I’m wearing. Naki-cooperate na lang ako at hinayaan siya. He removed his boxer too and we’re both fully naked. I just turned my gaze away from his body. Baka ako pa ang maakit nito, e.

“Stay there, I’ll scrub your body,” he whispered and took my body scrub. I gasped and held his arm.

“I can scrub myself, Zak. Just get out!” I exclaimed and pointed the door.

He didn’t listen to me, he just opened the shower and caressed my hair. I glared at him when he starts putting shampoo on my hair and rubbed it gently. I just sighed and let him. My heart instantly softened with his gentle gesture. Damn this man.

“Close your eyes, the shampoo might get into your eyes,” he murmured while still stroking my hair. I just obeyed him and closed my eyes. His gentle strokes on my hair and scalp feels good. I just don’t want to admit it to him, baka matuwa pa siya.

After washing my hair, he starts scrubing my body, he’s too gentle… Baka walang matanggal na libag sa katawan ko dahil sa sobrang pag-iingat niya. I appreciate it though, I never thought Zakarius has a soft side. He likes sweets, he’s a gentleman, he sleep talks and sleepwalks… Damn, he’s the cutest badass alive. My heart always throbs because of him, he’s causing a ruckus in my system again.

“I’m sorry about the hickies. I think I was too rough last night,” he murmured and touched my cheeks, caressing it gently with his thumb.

“Anong ‘I think’? You were really rough last night, Zakarius! Akala ko masisira na ang kama,” nakasimangot na sabi ko at inirapan siya.

He just pinched both of my cheeks and bit his lower lip while staring at me as if he’s restraining himself from smiling. My forehead creased and my eyebrow raised.

“Is there anything funny?!” I asked and slapped his hands.

“You look cute this way, squishy squishy,” he whispered and pinched my cheeks again. I glared at him and punched his hard chest.

Is he making fun of me?!

“Fuck you, Zak,” I said and gritted my teeth.

“Okay, but not now, Angel. You’re still sore, maybe tomorrow na lang.” He continued scrubbing my body.

I bit my lower lip to suppress myself from laughing. The way he said ‘maybe tomorrow na lang’ is so funny. Zakarius also has a conyo side, damn it. I almost laugh my ass off.

“What’s funny?” he asked as his forehead furrowed. I just smacked his chest again and covered my mouth. I bet my face looks like a ripe tomato right now. Hindi ako maka-move on sa ‘maybe tomorrow na lang’ niya.

“Repeat it,” I demanded and touched his chest. He just hugged my waist and nuzzled his face on my neck.

“What?” he whispered on my neck.

“Maybe tomorrow na lang,” natatawang sabi ko.

Napatunghay siya at tumingin sa ’kin saka napakunot ang noo. I just bit my lower lip and hugged his nape. Natatawa pa rin talaga ako.

“What’s so funny about that?” he asked.

“Wala, you’re so conyo kasi, e,” I said, still laughing.

“So what? Bawal ba maging conyo ang lalaki?” he asked and pinched my nose.

“I didn’t say that, baby. I just want to hear you say ‘maybe tomorrow na lang’ again,” I said and traced my finger on his hard chest.

“Wait, what? Did you just say baby?” he asked, his luscious lips parted. I blinked when I realized I really did call him baby.

What the fuck?

“No, I didn’t tell that. Nabi-bingi ka lang yata!” asik ko na lang at napairap saka itinulak ang dibdib niya. Hindi naman niya binitiwan ang baywang ko at mas hinila ako papalapit sa kanya.

I bit my lower lip when I felt his hard manhood on my abdomen. Damn this man, is he always horny?

“No, I clearly heard that. Say it again, please,” he said and kissed the tip of my nose. I rolled my eyes and punched his chest again.

“No way!” I exclaimed. There’s no way I’ll repeat that. Hindi ko nga sinasadya ’yon, e.

“Okay, let’s have a deal… I’ll be a conyo for the whole day, and you will call me baby every single time for this day too. How about that?” he asked and raised the corner of his sexy lips.

“But you’re not a baby, you’re a huge baby,” I said and arched my eyebrow.

“I’ll be your baby… So, are you up for it?” he asked and kissed my forehead. Kung ano-ano na lang talaga ang hinahalikan niya.

Natahimik ako at napaisip. Should I accept it? I know calling him ‘baby’ will be a torture, but damn, Zakarius being a conyo for a fucking whole day will be hilarious.

“Fine, baby,” I said and rolled my eyes at him.

He chuckled gently and hugged my waist tighter. He kissed my nose, both of my cheeks, my forehead and my lips. Why is he so touchy and… Whatever, gusto ko rin naman ang ginagawa niya, e.

“I will still prepare myself, I honestly don’t know how to be a conyo,” he said and caressed my body, trying to wash away the soap on my body.

“Tumupad ka sa usapan natin ha, I will call you baby, and you sill be a conyo. Don’t make me mad, baby,” I said and glared at him.

“I won’t make you galit, don’t worry,” he said and nuzzled on my neck.

I pushed him and laughed my ass off. I smacked his chest while laughing. Damn, I won’t make you galit daw. My goodness, Zakarius will be the death of me.

“Will you laugh every time I’ll talk in a conyo way?” he asked and looked at me coldly. I just covered my mouth, trying to stop myself from laughing. Damn.

“You were a cold badass the first time you took me, then you became a cute man, and then a hottie, especially while we’re having sex last night… And now, you’re a conyo. Damn, you never fail to surprise me, Director Zakarius Cavalcante,” I said while still laughing. Damn, I’m laughing here in the bathroom while we’re both naked. This all his fault.

NATAGALAN kami sa banyo dahil ang tagal ko ring tawa nang tawa dahil sa kanya. Nakasimangot lang siya habang tinatawanan ko siya. Can he blame me? He’s too cute.

Naunang matapos magbihis si Zak, agad siyang lumabas ng kuwarto at nagpunta sa kusina para raw magluto.

Natigilan ako nang mapatingin sa salamin pagkatapos kong magbihis. I gasped and covered my mouth because of shock. Why did I realize that too late?

Agad akong lumabas ng kuwarto ko at pinuntahan si Zakarius sa kusina. Nagluluto na siya ng kung ano, maybe meat again or something.

“Zakarius! I mean, baby!” naiinis na singhal ko. Napalingon naman agad sa ’kin si Zak.

“Why?” he asked turned off the stove. Lumapit siya sa ’kin ngunit agad akong napaatras palayo sa kanya.

“Fucking stay there! I’ll talk to you about something important… Baby,” I said and arched my eyebrow at him.

Tila pilit na lang ang pagkakasabi ko ng baby, but fuck, nevermind.

“All this time, you always see my bare face without fucking make up and you’re not saying anything about it?!” I exaggeratedly exclaimed and stomped my feet. Zakarius’ forehead furrowed as if he can’t see anything wrong with that.

“What’s wrong with that? Am I not allowed to see your face without makeup?” he asked and scratched his nape.

Gusto ko sanang matawa dahil pinaninindigan niya pa rin ang pagiging conyo kahit galit na galit na ako ngayon… But no way, I won’t be swayed by his cute conyo talk.

“Yes, baby! No one is allowed to see my face without make up except my personal make up artist and my parents. You should have told me that I’m not wearing my make up!” I exclaimed and pointed my face. I stepped backwards because I’m not wearing make up right now.

“There’s no difference though, you’re still pretty with or without make up,” he said. He was about to hug me but I immediately pushed his chest and avoided his gaze.

“It’s just… I’m not confident with my bare face, baby. I mean, look at my lips, they’re pale, even my skin. My lips are thin too, and look at my eyebrows, manipis din ang kilay ko… Damn it, you won’t tell anyone about my no make up face, Zakarius or I’ll kick your ass,” I said while gritting my teeth.

No one can cure my insecurities about my bare face, I will never be confident showing it to the world.

Zakarius just stared at me with serious eyes. I avoided his gaze and turned my back at him. Damn, maybe he thinks I’m an overreacting bitch now. Who cares? Bahala na siya kung umalis man siya at iwan ako rito.

I was about to go to my room but Zakarius immediately held my arm to stop me. He hugged me from behind and rest his chin on my shoulder. I bit my lower lip and inhaled deeply when he pulled me closer to him and buried his face on my neck.

“You’re still beautiful though. Honestly, I’m so honored to see your beautiful bare face.” He held my shoulder and made me face him. I just bit my lower lip when he held my jaw and raised it. He stared at me intently, his blue eyes almost penetrated into my system. Kahit pa hindi ganoong ka-expressive ang mga mata niya, at kahit palagi siyang walang emosyon, pakiramdam ko totoo ang mga sinabi niya sa ’kin.

“Stop fooling around,” I hissed and smacked his chest.

“To be honest, physical appearances don’t matter to me, Angel. If I like something, I still think it’s beautiful. I have a snake at my farm with no eyes and slightly deformed face, I still find her beautiful because I like her no matter what she looks like,” he muttered. He stroked my cheeks with his thumb gently while staring at me.

My cheeks heated, I gulped and looked straight in his blue eyes. I don’t know why my whole body shivered because of what he said. I just bit the insides of my cheeks.

“Does it mean you like me because you find me beautiful even without make up?” I asked and raised my eyebrow.

My heart is throbbing right now while waiting for his answer. Why am I so excited? Hindi mapakali ang sistema ko, lalo na ang kalamnana ko, parang may kung ano ro’n na hindi ko maipaliwanag.

Zakarius blinked twice and suddenly avoided my gaze. Hindi nakawala sa paningin ko ang bahagyang pamumula ng mukha niya.

“T-that’s not what I mean… I mean, ahm, basta. I know you get it already,” he said and looked at me again.

I felt kinda disappointed with his answer, but what the fuck am I expecting? We had sex but that doesn’t mean he likes me.

“Whatever, maybe what you said earlier only applies for snakes. I’m not a snake, Zak. Saka ang usapan natin you’ll be a conyo, hindi ka tunutupad sa usapan,” I said, raising my eyebrow.

“Because you’re not calling me baby.”

Well, he has a point there.

“Whatever, let me go. I’ll talk to Cassian,” I said and removed his arms on my waist.

He just hugged me tighter and kissed my neck lightly. I sighed when he nuzzled on my neck and then kissed my lips. I just pushed his chest and glared at him.

“Why do you need to talk to him? Don’t go to work today, tomorrow na lang. Hmm?” he asked and kissed my forehead.

Bakit ba panay ang halik niya sa ’kin?

“Kaya ko nga siya tatawagan, e. I’ll tell him I can’t go to work today. H’wag kang magulo, okay?”

Hindi ko na siya hinintay na sumagot. Bahagya ko siya itinulak at agad nagtungo sa kuwarto ko para tawagan si Cassian. I know he’ll be mad as hell. But what can I do? Zakarius drained my energy last night, he’s so insatiable.

Nagpunta ako ulit sa kusina matapos kong kausapin si Cassian. Natigilan na lang ako nang makitang wala si Zak doon.

Nagpunta ako sa living room pero wala rin siya ro’n. Napakunot na lang ang noo ko nang makita siya sa balcony. Nakatalikod siya sa puwesto ko at mukhang may kausap siya sa phone.

“You already traced her location? Find her immediately, Cad.”

My forehead creased. What is he talking about? Sino ang hinahanap niya? Is it Jaze?

Damn, I almost forgot about her. I’m a worthless friend.

“Make sure to find her first, Cad. Leave the current mission I assigned you. Find Jaze first, she’s a more important mission, don’t let her disappear again.”

My heart throbbed because of an unknown emotion swelled in it. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes tightly. What the hell am I thinking right now?

I shouldn’t be surprised. Jaze is most important for him, of course, she’s his girlfriend… Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nararamdaman ko ’to ngayon. Tila kumikirot ang puso ko dahil halatang atat na atat na si Zak na makita ulit si Jaze.

“Angel.”

I was taken aback and looked at Zak. Ngayon ko lang na-realize na nakatingin na pala siya sa ’kin at tapos na siyang makipag-usap sa kausap niya.

“Kanina ka pa ba riyan?” he asked. He’s looking at me with much intensity in his eyes.

“Ahm, no… ahm, bakit?” tanong ko na lang saka pilit na ngumiti sa kanya.

Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa ’kin na tila ba sinusuri niya kung nagsasabi ako ng totoo o hindi. For some unknown reason, I felt kind of nervous by the way he looked at me. I’m aware that he’s a cold-blooded man but, there’s something in his eyes right now that I couldn’t explain.

Is it fear? Uneasiness? Nagagalit ba siya sa ’kin? I couldn’t discern.

“Baby, hindi pa ba tayo kakain?” pag-iwas ko na lang sa topic saka ngumiti nang matamis sa kanya. Lumapit ako sa kanya at yumakap sa baywang niya.

Kahit papa’no nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang bigyan niya ako nang maliit na ngiti. He hugged me back and kissed my forehead.

Why does it feel like he’s hiding something from me?

Chapter Fourteen

“Angel.”

Napadilat ako nang maramdaman ko ang braso ni Zakarius sa baywang ko. Napakunot ang noo ko nang dahan-dahan siyang humiga sa tabi ko saka sumiksik sa leeg ko.

“What are you doing here?! I told you na sa couch ka matutulog, diba?!” I shouted and pushed him lightly. Hindi naman siya nagpatinag at mas hinigpitan ang yakap sa ’kin.

“I told you I can’t sleep there, ang small ng space do’n, and I’ll just sleepwalk. Just hug me with your arms and legs just like what you did last time para hindi ako mag-sleepwalk,” he murmured and inhaled my neck.

Nawala ang antok ko dahil naging conyo na naman siya. I just chewed my lower lip to restrain myself from laughing. Damn this stubborn, cute and conyo man.

“No, masyado ka ng sinu-suwerte. Pumayag na nga ako na rito ka tumuloy, e. Requesting to sleep beside me is too much, Zakarius,” I said and pushed his chest again.

“I thought you’ll let me sleep beside you now because we had sex. Why are you so heartless? I can’t sleep there on the couch. Natatakot ako mag-isa sa living room, it’s so dark there,” pag-iinarte pa niya at isinubsob naman ang mukha sa dibdib ko. “Squishy squishy,” he murmured and gripped my left bossom gently.

I gasped and slapped his hand. My cheeks instantly heated. Nakaramdam din ako nang kakaibang kuryente na dumadaloy sa buong katawan ko sa ginawa niya.

Calm your horny nerves, Angel Mendoza!

“Natatakot kang mag-isa? Hindi ka nga natatakot sa ahas, e. Let me go nga, doon ka sa couch!” naiiritang sabi ko at itinulak ang mukha niya palayo sa dibdib ko.

“Sige na, just for tonight. Hmm?” pangungulit pa niya saka tumingin nang seryoso sa mga mata ko.

“No, I know na masusundan pa ’yang ‘just for tonight’ na ’yan. Get out of my room, now,” I said and pushed him again.

Napabuntong hininga na lang si Zakarius at inalis ang braso sa baywang ko. Mukha siyang bata na hindi napagbigyan na bilhan ng laruan. Bumangon siya sa kama ko at walang salita na lumabas ng kuwarto ko.

Napataas na lang ang kilay ko, nagtatampo ba siya?

Well, nevermind. Magtampo siya kung gusto niya. I don’t care.

I just took my phone and opened my twitter account and looked at some tweets. Napataas na lang ang kilay ko dahil hanggang ngayon trending ang love team kuno namin ni Castor.

Nang magsawa ako, ibinalik ko na lang ulit ang phone ko sa bedside table at sinubukang matulog ulit.

I sighed while staring at the ceiling. I can’t sleep now. This is all Zakarius’ fault. If he didn’t just barge in, siguro tulog na ako ngayon.

Inabot ako nang mahigit thirty minutes kakatitig sa kisame. I can’t stop thinking about Zakarius. I admit, medyo nakonsensya ako sa pagpapaalis ko sa kanya rito sa kuwarto ko.

Napaismid na lang ako at bumangon saka lumabas ng kuwarto. Pupunta na sana ako sa kusina para uminom nang tubig nang makita ko si Zakarius na nakahiga sa couch at nakapikit.

He was right, the couch is too small for his large frame. It’s his fault, he keeps on insisting to stay here. He has his own house, a very huge house, say bigger than mine. Bakit ipinagpipilitan niya ang sarili rito sa bahay ko na isa lang naman ang silid.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at umupo sa mini table na nasa tapat ng couch. He looks cute while covered with comforter. Para siyang guwapong suman. I chuckled gently with my thought.

I stared at his face and bit the insides of my cheeks. I hate the fact that his eyelashes are longer than mine, he has more beautiful eyes, and more attractive lips than me… Hindi makatarungan.

“Zak,” I mumbled and gently stroked his hair.

I smiled when he starts murmuring something I couldn’t understand. He’s always like this when sleeping. No one can’t resist this cute side of him.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at umupo sa tabi niya. I held his hand and put it on my lap while staring at him.

“Zakarius.” I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb gently and then intertwined our fingers. I smiled faintly and took my phone, buti na lang at dinala ko ’to.

I took a picture of our intertwined hands. I giggled softly and put my phone on the mini table after. I stared at him again, he’s still sleeping peacefully.

Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko at humiga sa couch katabi niya at nagsumiksik sa dibdib niya. I hugged his waist and nuzzled on his neck. I gasped when he hugged me back. I looked at him again, nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang makitang nakapikit pa rin siya at mabigat ang paghinga.

Tulog mantika si Zakarius.

I inhaled his manly scent, I bet he’s not wearing any perfume right now but damn, he still smells good. He used my shower gel that smells flowers pero nangingibabaw pa rin ang natural na amoy niya. I sighed and hugged him tighter. Yumakap ako sa batok niya at ipinulupot ko ang mga hita ko sa baywang niya. Buti na lang at hindi naman siya nagising.

I kissed his right cheek gently and caressed it. I traced my finger on his face while staring at him. Hindi ko magagawa ’to nang gising siya kaya sasamantalahin ko na ngayon.

I gasped when Zakarius suddenly opened his eyes and held my hand, I blinked twice and pulled my hand away from him but he just gripped it tighter while staring at me.

“You woke me up, woman,” he murmured in his husky and super sexy voice. My knees literally shuddered because of his fucking bedroom voice.

“I-I’m sorry, n-natatakot lang ako na baka mag-sleepwalk ka na naman,” bulong ko. Akmang babangon na ako ngunit agad niyang nahawakan ang baywang ko at mas siniksik ako sa tabi niya.

“Stay here beside me,” he mumbled and closed his eyes. I just bit my lower lip and nodded like an obedient child.

Napatingin ako sa mukha niya, nakapikit pa rin siya pero bahagya itong napangiti. Napangiti na lang din ako at muling sumubsob sa leeg niya.

Lulubusin ko na lang, pansamantala lang naman lahat ng ’to, e. 

---

“Is that a hickey?” Cassian asked and pointed my neck. I just rolled my eyes at him and covered my neck.

“Just mosquito bite,” I answered and avoided his gaze.

Napailing na lang si Cassian habang nakataas ang kilay. He doesn’t look convinced with my answer.

“Nadia, make sure that red thingy on her neck won’t be visible,” Cassian whispered to my personal make up artist. I just rolled my eyes and threw the tissue roll at him.

Hindi na nga masyadong visible ang hickies ko, e. Nagsearch pa talaga ako sa internet para malaman ang mabilis na pampatanggal ng hickey. This is all Zakarius’ fault, damn him to the highest degree.

Pumikit na lang ako at hinayaan ang make up artist ko na ayusan ako. Castor and I will be having a swimwear photoshoot for our endorsement. I’m wearing a black backless one piece swimsuit, Castor on the other hand is just wearing his trunks. He really loves exposing his body. Kahit may concert siya palagi niyang hinuhubad ang shirt niya kaya marami ang nahuhumaling sa kanya… but not me.

My eyebrow arched when I turned my gaze at Zakarius. Katabi niya ang photographer pati na rin si Cassian. Wala ba siyang trabaho? Napapadalas yata ang pagpunta niya sa mga shooting ko.

I took my phone and texted him.

Why are you here again?

Napatingin akong muli sa kanya. He took his phone from his jeans’ pocket. He glanced at me before typing on his phone.

Zakarius ‘fcking’ Cavalcante:

Cassian invited me, did you forget that I will be the director for your next movie?

Muling napataas ang kilay ko sa reply niya. Muli akong nag-type sa phone ko.

I know, but it doesn’t mean that you have to come here every time!!!

I looked at him as I hit the reply button. Agad niyang tiningnan ang phone niya at muling nag-type.

Zakarius ‘fcking’ Cavalcante

I just wnat to see you act.

want*

Natawa na lang ako sa typo niya. Nagmamadali ba siya masyadong mag-type?

“Okay! Let’s start!”

Agad akong napatayo nang matapos na akong make up-an ni Nadia. I removed my robe and fixed my slightly disheveled hair. Lumapit na ako kay Castor na kanina pa naka-puwesto.

“Okay, for your first pose… Angel, hold Castor’s chest and look in his eyes. Castor, hold Angel’s waist and pull her closer to you” the photographer demanded.

Huminga na lang ako nang malalim at hinawakan ang dibdib ni Castor. I’m kinda nervous because Zakarius is here, kung wala siya rito malamang sobrang confident ako.

Castor held my waist and stared directly in my eyes. I sighed and smiled awkwardly at him, he just chuckled and gently squeezed my waist.

“Are you alright?” he whispered on my ear. I just nodded and inhaled deeply, trying to calm myself.

The photoshoot started. Castor is so good at his job, pakiramdam ko ako ang sumisira ng photoshoot. Hindi talaga ako mapakali, nararamdaman ng photographer ’yon kaya naka-ilang shots kami pero hindi pa rin siya satisfied sa kinakalabasan.

“Castor.”

Napatingin kaming lahat kay Zakarius nang bigla itong lumapit kay Castor at bahagya itong hinila palayo sa ’kin. Napasinghap na lang ako sa ginawa niya. Napaawang na lang ang bibig ko nang lumapit siya sa ’kin.

“Can I touch you, Miss Mendoza?” he asked. I just gulped and unconsciously nodded, my mind was suddenly clouded.

He held both of my hands and put it on his chest. He held my waist and pulled me closer to him. Hinawakan niya ang baba ko at marahan ’yong inangat hanggang sa magtagpo ang mga mata namin.

My hands are literally shaking, my heart is pounding like crazy in my ribcage. His blue eyes are like penetrating my insides again, making my system go wild. Why is he doing this to me?

Halos lahat mg staff sa set ay halatang nagulat pa rin sa ginawa niya, maski ako naman.

“You have to look directly at your partner’s eyes, look fierce, h’wag mong ipahalata na kinakabahan ka,” sabi niya na lang. Napapatango naman ang mga staff na tila ba sumasang-ayon sa sinabi niya.

“I-I know what to do, Director Cavalcante, I’m just kinda distracted!” I exclaimed, trying to suppress myself from melting against his body.

Inilapit niya ang labi sa tainga ko saka bumulong do’n.

“Am I distracting you, Angel Mendoza?”

I gasped in shock, but I still remained calm. Ayaw kong magwala sa inis dito nang dahil sa kanya. Baka pagdudahan pa kami ng mga staff dito.

“I’m not, you’re so assuming to the highest degree,” I whispered back, my teeth are gritting.

“If I’m distracting you, I’ll take my leave. Go to your private dressing room after this fucking photoshoot,” bulong niyang muli saka lumayo na sa ’kin. He tapped Castor’s shoulder before leaving the room. Napaawang na lang ang labi ko.

The heck?

AGAD AKONG dumiretso sa dressing room ko kagaya ng sinabi ni Zakarius after ng photoshoot and after I changed my clothes.

Napasinghap ako nang agad na may humila sa ’kin papasok sa loob ng dressing room pagbukas ko ng pinto.

“Zakarius! How did you–”

Hindi natapos ang sasabihin ko nang agad na siilin ni Zakarius ng halik ang labi ko. As a marupok as I am, I responded to his hungry kisses without any hesitation.

Zakarius held both sides of my waist and lift me up. I gripped his nape and encircled my legs on his waist. I moaned softly when he bit my lower lip gently and put his tongue inside my mouth, exploring the insides of my mouth. He carried me to my dressing room’s bathroom and closed the door. Pinaupo niya ako sa bathroom sink habang patuloy pa rin akong hinahalikan sa labi.

My lips parted when he distanced himself from me. I groaned in protest, I want his luscious lips on mine again.

“I want you so much, Angel… I fucking want you now,” he murmured while unbuckling his belt. I just bit my lower lip and get off the sink. Lumapit ako sa kanya at yumakap sa batok niya.

Zakarius carried me again and pinned me on the wall. He pulled his pants down and ripped off my skirt. I didn’t protest and just kissed his lips. Damn, I can’t think of anything right now. I fucking want him too.

Zakarius ripped my underwear too and threw it on the sink. He held my butt and lifted it, I instantly encircled my legs on his waist and clung on his nape.

He pulled his pants down together with his boxer and rubbed his bare manhood on my center. My eyes dilated with excitement, damn, I want him inside me again, I want him thrusting inside me again like his life depends on it.

My whole body shivered when he starts rubbing the tip of his hardness on my feminity. My lips parted and my toes curled, my flesh instantly gets damped. My body reacts on its own with his touch and advances.

He kissed my lips passionately, I answered his kisses with equal fire, I tried to keep up with his hungry kisses but my whole body is shivering right now.

Our tongues fought inside my mouth, he stroked my back sensually while still rubbing his hardness on my center. I groaned and hugged his nape tighter, pushing him to penetrate his c-ck inside me.

“Relax, we’ll get there,” he murmured and put his calloused hand inside my blouse and starts fondling my bossom. I inhaled deeply and moved my hips against his. My insides churned when I felt him playing with my nipple using his fingers, he’s gently pulling it and then slightly twisting it with his fingers.

His mouth goes down until it reached my neck. I held his shoulder, trying to stop him.

“Z-Zak….no hickies, please, baby,” I begged and gripped his broad shoulders tightly. I’m still drunk because of his touch and kisses but I can’t let him put hickies on my neck right now.

Zakarius just planted kisses on my neck and ran his tongue on my skin there, his hot and sinful tongue makes me crazy. Nagtayuan ang mga balahibo ko dahil sa ginawa niya.

Zakarius gently penetrated my womanhood with his hardness. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes tightly. Bumigat ang paghinga ko kasabay ng panginginig ng kalamnan ko.

“Fucking tight,” he murmured and gripped my ass, he pulled it closer to his hardness and penetrated inside my core deeper.

“Aahhh…” I moaned softly and gripped his shoulders. Zakarius groaned on my neck while bitting his lower lip.

Tila hindi ko na maramdaman ang malamig na tiles sa likuran ko dahil sa init na dumadaloy sa buong katawan ko. I can’t think of anything right now, his hardness inside my feminity means everything to me right now.

Nakaramdam ako ng kirot nang mas ibaon niya pa paglalalaki sa loob ko. I just bit my tongue, trying to stop myself from screaming and sobbing. I don’t want him to stop, I want him so much.

“Ah, fuck… my Angel.” He groaned like a wounded animal and thrusts faster on my center.

My eyes dilated when he starts ramming his c-ck faster inside my wetness. I bit my lower lip and moved my hips against his. Nanginginig ang buong katawan ko, hindi na rin ako mapakali dahil sa kakaibang kiliti na dulot niya sa ’kin.

“Aahhh… P-please, fuck me harder, baby. Please, oohhh!” I can’t stop myself from screaming anymore.

He gripped my ass tighter and moved it against his thrusts. I’m literally writhing like crazy underneath him right now. His huge shaft inside me feels good, halos mabaliw na ako sa sensasyong ibinibigay niya.

“You want me to fuck you harder? Hmm?” he murmured in a deep sexy voice and pulled his c-ck out of my flesh. My mouth agape as emptiness filled my system.

“Z-Zak, please, fuck me again. I want you so much… Hmm…” I bit my lower lip and desperately moved my hips. Zakarius stared at me with his intense eyes.

Tila nalalasing na tumingin na lang din ako sa kanya at muling napakagat sa ibabang labi ko. I need him so much, I can’t take this anymore.

“Fuck, you look so hot right now, my Angel,” he whispered and then shoved his whole shaft inside me again without any notice. My womanhood instantly clenched because of the penetration of his huge hard on. My core felt so stretched and full.

“Aaahh… Damn, you’re so good, baby. Please fuck me more, don’t stop… Fuck me harder, ooohh!” I moved my hips against his and bit his shoulder gently. He doesn’t seem to mind because he just keep on thrusting like a madman inside me.

Natigilan ako nang marinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto sa dressing room ko. Agad kong hinawakan nang mahigpit ang balikat ni Zak.

“S-stop, someone entered,” I whispered and held his stomach, trying to stop him from shoving his c-ck inside me.

Zakarius didn’t stop, my lips parted when his movements became faster and rougher. My p-ssy clenched against his hardness. Zakarius groaned softly, minimizing his voice.

“Angel! Where are you? Are you there ba sa bathroom?”

I bit my lower lip when I heard Cassian’s voice. I scratched Zakrius’ back, trying to stop his thrusts but he’s so stubborn!

“I’m fucking near, I know you too. Don’t mind him, he won’t enter,” he murmured and rammed his c-ck deeper and swirl it inside me. I covered my mouth because of the overflowing sensation. I bit my finger to stop my moans.

“Angel!”

I closed my eyes tightly when Cassian starts knocking the bathroom’s door.

“I-I’m taking a shower–aahhh…”

I was shocked when Zakarius rubbed my cl-t with the tip of his finger while thrusting roughly. The tingling sensation earlier became too much, I can’t take this anymore. His fingers on my cl-t added fuel to the fire. This sensation is too much to bear.

Fuck. Zakarius doesn’t even seem nervous about being caught. He’s just thrusting his hips, trying to make me lose my sanity while fucking me harder and deeper.

“Are you alright? Bakit parang nadaing ka riyan?!” tanong pa nito saka muling kumatok.

“I’m fine! Just leave me alone! Kapag ako nainis hindi ako pupunta sa shooting!” pananakot ko saka muling kinagat ang daliri ko.

“Fine! Ang arte mo talagang babae ka.”

Hinintay ko muna na marinig ang pagtunog ng pinto bago ako muling nag-focus sa ginagawa namin ni Zak.

“Aahhh… F-fuck you, Zak. Hmm,” I moaned when he rammed inside me deeper, reaching my G-spot. My eyes burned with desire as it dilated while thrusting my hips against his.

My flesh tightened when I felt something familiar building up inside me. I bit my lower lip and moved my hips desperately, Zakarius released a manly groan and fondled my bossom while thrusting.

His c-ck was relentless, driving me roughly while plowing into my wetness deeply like his life depends on it.

“Fuck, I-I… I’m almost there, Zak. Please, harder, baby…” I murmured when my insides churned.

After Zakarius’ deep and hard thrust, my body clenched around him. I felt dizzy and my mind became clouded as I came. His c-ck gleamed with my juices. He just groaned and desperately thrusts his hips as he came right after me.

My lips parted when hot thick liquid gushed in inside me. My eyes dilated as his cum streamed on my inner legs. My whole body convulsed while letting the pleasure took over my mind.

He keeps on thrusting, but slower this time. He planted all his seeds inside me, my mind went blank when I realized what he did.

“Zakarius, y-you came inside me,” I murmured. I closed my eyes while panting.

Zakarius carried me and let me sit on the bathroom sink.

“Ah, my bad,” he said as if what he did isn’t a big deal. I punched his chest.

“I-I might get pregnant,” I murmured and collapsed on his body. He hugged my waist and inhaled my shoulder.

He didn’t say anything, he just gently stroked my hair while planting small kisses on my shoulder blade.

“Nevermind, I’ll just take some birth control pills or what,” I murmured. My body is still trembling because of that mind-blowing sex.

Zakarius remained silent. Kumuha siya ng maliit na towel na nakasabit sa likod ng pinto. He washed the towel and wiped my wet feminity. I just closed my eyes because of embarrassment. Ang init na ng magkabilang pisngi ko ngayon. Hindi ko alam pero bigla akong nahiya sa ginawa niya.

He removed all of his clothes as well as mine cleaning me up. Ngayon ko lang na-realize na gumawa kami ng kababalaghan dito sa banyo pero kumpleto pa rin ang damit niya.

We took a quick shower, gaya ng inaasahan ko, nagpumilit na naman si Zak na magkuskos ng katawan ko kaya hinayaan ko na lang.

After a quick shower, he covered my body with a robe. Kumuha siya ng isa pang tuwalya na nakasabit at ibinalot ’yon sa baywang niya. Binuhat niya ako at inilabas ng banyo pagkatapos. Dahan-dahan niya akong iniupo sa couch. Agad siyang nagtungo sa pinto at ni-lock ’yon saka muling bumalik sa tabi ko.

Kahit na nanginginig pa ang mga tuhod ko. I still gathered my strength and took an underwear and clothes on my drawer and wear it kahit pa nasa harapan ko siya. Wala na naman akong itatago sa kanya.

I took a large t-shirt and a sweatpants and gave it to him. Buti na lang at may ganyan ako rito.

“Wear this muna,” sabi ko at inabot sa kanya iyon. Napatango na lang siya at basta na lang hinubad ang tuwalya saka nagbihis sa harapan ko. Napatikhim na lang ako at napaiwas ng tingin sa kanya.

Damn this man and his hot body.

“How did you know where my dressing room is?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko nang matapos na siyang magbihis.

Mukha lang siyang nasa bahay sa suot niya pero mukha namang wala siyang pakialam.

“Ahm, I just know,” he said with no emotions in his eyes.

“Whatever, aalis na ’ko. Bahala ka ng umalis, just make sure no one will see you kundi lagot ka sa akin.”

Akmang magtutungo na ako sa pinto upang lumabas nang agad na mahawakan ni Zak ang kamay ko.

“Angel,” he mumbled and bit his lower lip. I just raised my eyebrow at him.

Damn, he looks so cute right now.

“Can you stay here for a minute? I want us to cuddle even just for a minute,” he murmured and looked down as if he’s embarrassed. Namumula rin nang bahagya ang mukha niya.

My heart throbbed because of an unknown emotion. I bit my lower lip, my mind is screaming ‘no’ and telling me to leave him here… but I found myself lying down on the couch with him, while hugging each other. He caressed my long hair gently, I just closed my eyes, nuzzled on his neck, and hugged him tightly.

I’m so doomed.

Kahit pa ilang ulit kong itanggi sa isip ko, alam ng puso ko ang totoo kong nararamdaman…

…I’m falling in love with him again.

Chapter Fifteen

“Cassian said you’re free tomorrow.”

Natigilan ako sa pagsusuklay ng buhok ko at napatingin kay Zakarius mula sa salamin. He’s sitting on my bed while hugging my pillow. I just rolled my eyes and continued combing my hair.

“Oo, pero may lakad ako bukas. Why? Do you need something?” I asked and put the hair brush on the table. Nilingon ko siya saka tinaasan siya ng kilay.

Zakarius just stared at me and didn’t say anything. I groaned in frustration and stood up. Lumapit ako sa kanya at nakapamaywang na hinarap siya. He bit his lower lip and held my hand. He pulled me closer to him. Napasinghap na lang ako nang mapaupo sa kandungan niya. He hugged my waist and buried his face on my neck.

“Stay with me tomorrow after ng lakad mo, hmm?” he said and kissed my neck softly. I chuckled because of the tingling feeling it gave me.

“Why do I have to stay with you after ng lakad ko tomorrow? For what?” I asked… laughing, and pushed his face away from my neck and looked in his blue eyes directly.

“Nothing, I just want to,” he murmured and gripped my waist gently and caressed my arm.

Ito na naman siya sa mga gestures niya na ganyan. Marupok ako sa mga ganito niya, kusa akong bumibigay, parang hindi na nako-kontrol ng isip ko ang sarili ko sa tuwing ginagawa niya ’to.

“Para saan ba kasi?” tanong ko pa saka yumakap sa batok niya.

He just held my jaw and kissed my lips gently, I just closed my eyes and responded to his gentle kiss. His lips are like caressing mine with much care and passion. He hugged my waist tighter and planted soft kisses on my lips, to my cheeks, to my nose… he planted kisses all over my face. I just bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling. Nakikiliti ako nang kaunti sa malambot niyang labi.

“Zakarius…” I pushed his chest gently and looked in his eyes.

“Hmm?” he murmured and touched my cheeks. I glared at him when he starts pinching both of my cheeks. I slapped his hands but he’s still pinching my cheeks.

“Stop it,” I commanded and slapped his hands again.

“Ano yung sasabihin mo?” tanong na lang niya saka binitiwan ang magkabilang pisngi ko.

“I want to sleep now, get out of my room now,” I said and lifted my eyebrow.

“Why? Am I still now allowed to sleep here beside you?” tila nagtatampong tanong niya.

“Oo, bumalik ka na ro’n. I’m going to sleep na,” sabi ko na lang at umalis sa kandungan niya.

Humiga na ako sa kama at nagkumot, nanatili namang nakaupo si Zakarius sa paanan ko. Lumingon siya sa ’kin saka gumapang papunta sa tabi ko at humiga.

I just rolled my eyes when he hugged my waist. Kinumutan niya rin ang sarili at nagsumiksik sa ’kin. He nuzzled on my neck and gripped my bossom gently. I slapped his hand and glared at him.

“Tigilan mo,” pananakot ko sa kanya.

He put his hand inside my night gown and caressed my waist. Hinayaan ko na lang siya at yumakap na lang din sa kanya. Hindi naman nagpapapigil ang lalaking ’to kapag gusto niyang tumabi sa ’kin, and besides, hindi ko rin siya natitiis.

I sighed and brushed his hair using my fingers. He let out a husky groan and inhaled the smell of my neck. Damn this man, I can’t just say no to him.

“Angel, why do you smell so good?” he asked in a husky voice.

“Natural na mabango ako, Zakarius. Maswerte ka nga dahil hinahayaan kitang amuyin ako, e,” mayabang na sabi ko at napangisi pa.

“It’s such an honor,” he mumbled and gently fondled my breast. I slapped his hand. Damn this man.

Inalis niya rin ang kamay sa loob ng nightgown ko at niyakap na lang ako nang mahigpit.

He’s so clingy, but I don’t know, I like the fact that he’s clingy. I should be irritated but I’m not. What the hell is he doing to me? I think I’m not myself anymore.

---

“Angel.”

Natigilan ako sa paglalagay ng lipstick at saglit na napalingon kay Zakarius.

“Hmm?” tanong ko at muling tumingin sa salamin at tinapos ang paglalagay ng lipstick.

“Where are you going?” tanong niya at nagtungo sa likuran ko at hinawakan ang magkabilang balikat ko.

“Castor’s party,” I answered and fixed my hair.

I’m just wearing a simple asymmetric ruffled floral pink chiffon dress, I matched it with beige wedge heels. I let my hair down because I don’t put much effort on my hairstyle most of the time.

“Puwede bang umuwi ka kaagad?” tila bulong na na tanong niya saka marahang pinisil ang balikat ko.

Muli akong lumingon sa kanya. Tumayo ako at nakapamaywang na hinarap siya. He just bit his lower lip and hugged my waist. I just sighed and rolled my eyes but I still hugged him back.

Damn it, he smells so good.

“Why? You seem bothered. Ano ba’ng mayroon ngayon?” I asked.

“Nothing. I just want to hug you nang matagal. Umuwi ka kaagad,” he murmured and kissed my neck gently. I just but my lower lip to stop myself from giggling.

“Yeah, uuwi ako kaagad para you can hug me nang matagal,” panggagaya ko sa pagiging conyo niya. Hinigpitan na lang niya ang pagyakap sa ’kin at isinubsob ang mukha sa leeg ko.

Damn this clingy man.

It’s already 5 pm, siguro makakauwi ako ng 6 or 7 pm. Alam naman ni Castor na hindi ako nagtatagal sa mga ganoong party, and besides, I’m kinda excited to go home because I want Zakarius to hug me nang matagal.

“Zak, I gotta go. Baka ma-late pa ako ro’n,” sabi ko na lang at bahagya siyang itinulak. Napabuntong hininga na lang siya at lumayo sa akin.

“Damn, I miss you already,” he murmured and avoided my gaze. I bit the insides of my cheeks to restrain myself from smiling like an idiot. Damn this man, he’s making me kilig .

“Whatever, I’ll go ahead. Bye!”

I took my car keys on the bedside table and immediately left the room. Hindi ko na binalingan ng tingin si Zak dahil baka hindi na lang ako tumuloy sa party ni Castor.

I can’t take my mind off Zakarius while driving on the way to Castor’s party. I miss him already. Nahahawa na yata ako ng pagiging clingy sa kanya.

Nakarating din kaagad ako sa party, as usual, there are actors and actresses like myself here in the party. Gusto ko na lang batiin si Castor, i-abot ang regalo saka umalis na lang kaagad. Hindi ko alam kung bakit atat na atat akong umuwi kaagad.

“Angel Mendoza! The queen of Castor’s party!”

I just smiled awkwardly when a group of celebrities approached me. When did I become the queen of Castor’s party? Fuck, I’m so done with these issues.

“Hey, Angel.”

Lumapit sa akin si Castor at bumeso. Napangiti na lang ako at agad na inabot sa kanya ang regalo ko… it’s just a limited edition watch. Sa sobrang tamad ko nga ay si Chan pa ang inutusan kong bumili no’n.

“Happy birthday, Castor. By the way, I have to–”

Hindi ako natapos sa sasabihin ko nang basta na lang nitong hinawakan ang wrist ko at hinila ako papunta sa table nila saka pinaupo. I sighed and bit my lower lip. Fine, I’ll just eat and go, I really want to go home.

Kaunti lang ang kinain ko, akmang aalis na ako nang matapos akong kumain pero agad akong niyaya ng mga artistang kasama ko na maki-inom sa kanila. Safe namang mag-inom dito dahil bawal ang reporters dito. Pero ayaw ko pa rin, gusto ko ng umuwi.

“Ahm, no thanks. I really have to go, and I can’t drink because I’ll drive on my own,” I said while fighting the urge to raise my eyebrow at them.

“Don’t be a kill joy, Angel. Castor will drive you home. You’re the queen of his party, you can’t leave just like that!” Karina, my co-actress, exclaimed. I looked at Castor who’s staring at me intently right now. I just rolled my eyes and drink with them.

Mataas naman ang tolerance ko sa alak, hindi ako nalalasing kaagad. Kaunting inom lang siguro at uuwi na rin ako kaagad.

MANY HOURS passed, hindi ko na rin namalayan ang oras dahil nawili ako sa pakikipag-kwentuhan at medyo may tama na rin ako.

Kinuha ko ang phone ko para tingnan ang oras. My eyes widened when I saw that it’s already 11 pm. I sighed and massaged my temple. There are a lot of text messages from Zakarius too. Nagulat na lang ako nang makitang lagpas 100 na ang texts niya. Agad kong binasa ang mga ’yon.

Hey, what’s taking you so long?

Are you alright?

Susunduin na ba kita?

Angel, I miss you so much, I want hugs.

I bit my lower lip and immediately stood up. Nagmamadaling lumabas ako ng hotel na pinagganapan ng party ni Castor. Agad akong nagtungo sa kotse ko at kinuha ang susi mula sa pouch ko.

“Angel!”

Napalingon ako sa tumawag sa ’kin. It was Castor. Agad siyang tumakbo papalapit sa ’kin.

“Hey, I really need to go home. Happy birthday ulit, I’ll take my leave.” I was about to get inside the car but he immediately grabbed my wrist.

“I’ll drive, you’re kinda drunk. Baka mapa’no ka pa sa daan,” sabi niya saka kinuha mula sa ’kin ang susi.

Hindi na lang ako kumontra at hinayaan siya. May tiwala naman ako sa kanya dahil hindi siya nag-inom buong party.

Tahimik kaming pareho sa biyahe. I’m busy reading Zakarius’ messages. I don’t know but I’m kinda nervous. I lost track of time because those bitchy actresses and actors are so stubborn. Gusto ko tuloy pagsasampalin ang mga mukha nila.

“Mukhang hindi ka mapakali.”

Napatingin ako kay Castor. I just smiled faintly at him and scratched my nape. I lost for words, I just want to go home as soon as fucking possible.

“I’m just tired,” I said and looked at the window. Damn, I’m too obvious.

Nakarating din kami sa bahay makalipas ang ilang minuto. I hastily get off the car and was about to go inside but Castor stopped me and held my arm.

“Hey, here’s your car key,” he said while chuckling and gave me my keys. I awkwardly smiled at him and took my keys from him. Damn it.

“Thank you, ahm… Paano ka uuwi?” nakakunot-noong tanong ko.

“I’ll just take a cab. I’m fine, pumasok ka na,” he said and slightly pushed me. I just smiled at him and immediately get inside.

Madilim ang bahay pagkapasok ko, mas lalo tuloy akong kinabahan. Sinilip ko si Zakarius sa couch at sa kuwarto ko pero wala siya ro’n. 

Where the hell is he?!

I took my phone and dialed his number. I thanked heavens when he immediately answered the call.

“Where are you, Zak?” I murmured and bit my lower lip.

“Kitchen,” he answered and ended the call.

How dare him end the call just like that?! At nasa kusina lang naman pala siya?! Pinakaba niya pa ako.

I bit my nails and took a deep breath, my system is in ruckus right now, my heart is pounding so hard. I’m still nervous, he’s obviously mad at me.

Whatever, I didn’t promise anything to him anyway. Yeah, right, wala akong kasalanan dito.

Nagtungo ako sa kusina, naabutan ko si Zak na nakaupo sa mesa habang nakatungo. Gusto kong matawa dahil inii-swing niya pa ang mga paa niya na parang bata.

“Zakarius.”

He looked at me, I almost shivered because of his cold eyes. Ganitong ganito amg tingin niya sa akin noong unang gabing nawala si Jaze.

Speaking of Jaze, kumusta na kaya siya? Kapag bumalik siya, siguradong hindi ko na siya magagawang harapin pa.

“Are you mad at me? I’m sorry, okay? Hindi ko naman alam na matatagalan nang gano’n, saka hindi ako basta puwedeng umalis dahil birthday ni Castor ’yon. Ang halay naman kung kakain lang ako at aalis,” agad na paliwanag ko nang makalapit ako kay Zak.

Tumingin siya sa ’kin. Napalunok na lang ako nang umalis siya sa pagkakaupo sa mesa at lumapit sa ’kin. I looked at his face and stared in his eyes to see his reaction. I can’t see any emotions there, now I’m really nervous.

“Me too, but nevermind. I understand,” he murmured and immediately left the kitchen.

Napaawang na lang ang labi ko at sinundan siya. He took his leather jacket on the couch and wore it. Hindi ko na siya napigilan nang basta na lang siyang lumabas ng bahay at padabog na isinara ang pinto.

What the fuck is his problem?! Na-late lang ako ng uwi, galit na galit na siya.

“Bahala siya sa buhay niya!” naiinis na sabi ko at binuksan na lang ang ref para uminom ng tubig.

I was taken aback when I saw a chocolate cake inside the refrigerator. Napakunot na lang ang noo ko nang makitang may cupcakes din doon at fruit salad. What are all of these for? Did he cook these? But why? Ano ba’ng meron?

Napailing na lang ako, kahit mabigat ang pakiramdam ko, nagtungo na lang ako sa kuwarto ko upang magshower at magpalit ng pantulog. Hindi pa rin mawala sa isip ko si Zakarius. I want to know what’s wrong with him or call him but my pride is not letting me do that.

I just opened my twitter to look for some tweets. My forehead creased when I saw a tweet from my co-actress, Savannah Miranda.

Happy birthday Castor Raven and Director Zakarius Cavalcante! <3

My lips parted and read the tweet again to make sure. Today is his birthday?!

Agad akong nag-search sa internet, I searched Zakarius Cavalcante and I gasped in shock when I saw his birthday there.

Director Zakarius Cavalcante

Birthday: April 20, 19**

Age: 38 years old

Nationality: Filipino-Italian

Oh my goodness. Birthday niya nga ngayon! And wait, he’s a Filipino-Italian? Damn, I didn’t know that.

Agad akong bumangon para bumalik sa kusina. Binuksan ko amg ref at tiningnan ang mga pagkain do’n. Kaya ba gusto niyang umuwi ako kaagad at makasama ako buong araw dahil birthday niya ngayon? Why didn’t he tell me that? Kung alam ko lang edi sana hindi na ako nagpunta sa birthday ni Castor.

I bit my lower lip and tried to call Zakarius. I groaned in frustration because he didn’t answer my call. Sinubukan ko ulit na tawagan siya ngunit hindi siya sumagot.

I know wala naman akong kasalanan dahil hindi ko naman alam na birthday niya, pero hindi ko alam kung bakit nako-konsensya pa rin ako. Hindi ako mapakali, parang may kung ano sa tiyan ko na hindi ko maipaliwanag.

I’m scared, I don’t know why… What if tuluyan siyang magalit at hindi na bumalik?

Damn, that will be the death of me. I can’t… I can’t let him go yet. I still need him, I still want him by my side.

Fuck. Fine. I love him… I love him so much.

Chapter Sixteen

I can’t focus on everything I do. Hindi maalis si Zakarius sa isip ko. Wala siyang ni-reply-an na kahit isa sa texts ko at hindi niya rin sinasagit ang mga tawag ko. Hindi siya nagparamdam kagabi noong umalis siya, hanggang ngayon. Hindi rin siya nagparamdam sa shooting ko for the first time.

I groaned in frustration and took my phone again. Damn him. Tatadtarin ko siya ng texts hanggang sa mainis siya at mapilitang mag-reply.

I’m sorry na nga eh! Ano ba’ng kasalanan ko? I didn’t know it’s your birthday yesterday, it’s your fault because you didn’t tell me!

Fine, I’m sorry. Babawi ako sayo, promise.

Happy birthday. Sorry na.

Pati sa text pabago-bago ang mood ko. Nakakainis kasi talaga, ano pa ba ang gusto niyang mangyari?

“Angel!”

I flinched when Cassian shouted at me. I blinked and looked at him, I realized that everyone on the set is looking at me. What the hell is going on?

“What?” I asked and raised my eyebrow.

“Kanina ka pa tinatawag ni direk, start na ng shooting!” tila naiinis ng sabi ni Cassian.

I cleared my throat and avoided his glare because of embarrassment. Pakiramdam ko pulang pula ang mukha ko ngayon dahil kahihiyan. Ganoon ba ako kalutang para hindi marinig na tinatawag ako ni direk?

“Sorry, medyo masakit lang ang ulo ko,” pagdadahilan ko na lang at ipinatong ang phone ko sa table.

“Hayaan muna natin na magpahinga si Angel. Ako rin napagod sa party kahapon,” sabi ni Castor saka naglakad papalapit sa ’kin.

He sat beside me and gave me a bottled water. I just smiled at him and took it. Damn, I’m so embarrassed. Hindi ako palaging napapahiya sa mga ganito, minsan lang kaya talagang sobrang nakakahiya.

Hinayaan muna kaming magpahinga ng direktor. Napapikit na lang ako at isinandal ang likod ko sa sandalan. I can’t work like this, I can’t stop thinking about him, fuck that Zakarius ‘fucking’ Cavalcante!

“You seem bothered,” Castor said and tapped my back. I just smiled faintly at him and sighed.

“I’m fine,” sabi ko na lang saka tiningnan ang kuko ko. I need a manicure, my nails are stressed out too because of Zakarius.

Natigilan ako nang hawakan ni Castor ang kamay ko at bahagya akong hinila patayo. Nagpatianod na lang ako sa kanya hanggang sa makarating kami sa balcony.

My foregead creased and looked at him with confusion in my eyes. Castor just smiled at me and pinched my cheek.

“You had a quarrel with Director Cavalcante, right?”

Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at gulat na napatingin sa kanya. Napatingin pa ako sa paligid para masiguro na walang nakarinig sa kanya. Good thing everyone seems busy, malayo-layo rin kami sa kanila. Kaya siguro hinila ako ni Castor dito.

“H-how did you–” He instanly cut me off.

“I saw him came out of your house last night, mukhang galit siya. Nalaman ko kaagad na siyang ang lalaking tinutukoy mo dati, and besides, you too are so obvious. He’s always glaring at me as if he wants to kill me during our shooting, lalo na kapag scene nating dalawa,” natatawang sabi niya saka uminom ng tubig. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa kanya.

“It’s not like that, Castor. We have a very complicated relationship, I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I want to push him away, I don’t want to betray my best friend anymore. Hindi lang halata pero nako-konsensya na ako. I won’t be able to face my friend the same way again kapag bumalik siya… Pero hindi ko kasi talaga siya kayang iwasan, Castor. I did my best to stop myself from loving him, but I can’t,” I murmured and bit my lower lip.

Natahimik naman si Castor, pero nakatingin siya sa ’kin at nakikinig sa mga sinasabi ko. Castor is a really good listener, halos wala na ’kong itinatago sa kanya. Bukod kay Jaze, he’s one of my most trusted friend.

“I understand you, Angel. But of course, you have to know what’s more important. Dapat piliin mo ang desisyon na hindi ka masyadong masasaktan. But you see, kahit ano’ng piliin mo masasaktan at masasaktan ka. But that’s fine, I’m here for you, you can vent it all out on me.” He smiled and drank his water again. “Ngayon pa lang, sort your feelings out. Isipin mo na lang na kahit ano man ang kahinatnan ng mga mangyayari, lilipas din naman. May puwedeng mawala sa ’yo but it’s all part of the process. You’ll learn something in the end, you’ll know better, and you’ll be better because you’re Angelica Louise Mendoza.”

Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. Castor really knows how to make me feel better, I don’t deserve a friend like him.

But he’s right, I’ll be better. I will learn something from my actions… Pero ngayon, gusto ko munang samantalahin ang pagkakataon.

---

“OMG! Angel Mendoza!”

Basta na lang akong pumasok sa agency kung nasaan nagta-trabaho si Zakarius dahil agad akong pinapasok ng guard. Well, perks of being a well-known actress, I guess?

I just smiled and waved my hand to those who are greeting me. I may be a bitch but I’m not a snob, hangga’t maaari, pina-pansin ko talaga ang mga nakakakilala sa ’kin.

Actually, Chan doesn’t want me to go here pero pinilit ko siya na ipag-drive ako. Tutal free time ko naman ngayon, I want to talk to Zak, hindi na ako nakakapag-focus sa trabaho ko dahil sa kanya.

Aingeal Agency’s building is much bigger than this. Most of the staffs and workers here are the best directors, producers, script writers… Karamihan ng mga artista nila rito ay underrated. This agency is focusing on the good storyline and movie plots which is good. Hindi sila masyadong kumukuha ng mga well-known actors.

Nagtungo ako sa counter at ngumiti sa babaeng receptionist, napaawang ang labi niya habang nakatitig sa ’kin. I just gave her my sweetest but killer smile and removed my shades. Damn, I look so classy right now.

“Ahm, can I talk to Director Zakarius Cavalcante? I just need to talk with him about our future project together, if that’s okay,” I said in a pretend shy tone.

“S-sure, miss. Pero okay lang po ba na magpa-picture?” tila nahihiyang tanong ng receptionist, bahagya pang namumula ang mukha niya.

My heart thumped with delight. Ilang taon ko ng naririnig ang linyang pero kinikilig pa rin ako. I genuinely appreciate all of my fans, they are a big part of my achievements. Isa siguro iyon sa masasabi kong totoong nararamdaman ko at hindi arte lang.

“Sure, it’s fine,” I said and smiled at her.

Nagpa-picture siya sa akin, napangiti na lang ako dahil halatang tuwang tuwa siya habang tinitingnan ang picture namin.

“Thank you po, Ma’am Angel. Nasa 5th floor nga po pala ang office ni direk. May pangalan po niya sa pinto kaya makikita niyo agad,” nakangiting sabi niya at napayakap na lang sa phone niya.

“Thank you, have a nice day,” I said and smiled at her before leaving.

Agad akong sumakay ng elevator, napapatingin sa ’kin ang mga empleyado sa loob pero ngini-ngitian ko na lang sila. I’m kinda used to it, I’m a naturally head-turner, I can’t blame them. I’m so beautiful that they can’t take my eyes off me.

Agad akong bumaba ng elevator nang makarating ako sa 5th floor. Napangiti ako nang agad na bumungad sa akin ang gray door na may nakalagay na Director Zakarius Cavalcante. Obviously, that’s his office.

Tumingin muna ako sa paligid, wala namang masyadong tao. I fixed my hair and my clothes. Kinuha ko ang maliit kong salamin sa pouch ko at tiningnan ang mukha ko. I’m so beautiful, sana masiraan siya ng bait sa sobrang ganda ko.

I took a deep breath and check the cake and cupcakes inside the paper bag. Ito ang cake at cupcakes na nakita ko sa ref kagabi. We will eat this together, kung kakausapin na niya ako.

Basta ko na lang binuksan ang pinto. I bit my the insides of my cheeks as my knees weakened when I saw Zakarius sitting on his swivel chair while looking at his laptop.

I unconsciously bit my lower lip and gripped the paper bag tighter. Hindi pa siya natingin sa direksyon ko pero kinakabahan na ako. Damn him, he’s the only one who can do this to my system.

He looks so hot right now. He’s not wearing his leather jacket, nakasabit ’yon sa sandalan ng swivel chair. He’s wearing a kinda body-hugging white shirt that makes him look hotter. His disheveled hair is literally killing me, kahit yata hindi na siya magsuklay kahit kailan ang guwapo niya pa rin.

Damn, I missed him so much. Kagabi lang siya umalis pero parang isang buwan na.

I cleared my throat to get his attention. My insides churned when he finally looked at me. I just bit my lower lip because his eyes remained cold while staring at me.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at inilapag ang paper bag sa table niya. I suck at apologizing, mataas talaga ang pride ko… but here I am.

“I’m sorry na, hindi ko naman alam na birthday mo, e. See? I brought the cake and cupcakes from the refrigerator. I’m here to say sorry. Let’s celebrate your birthday today, hmm? Babawi ako,” sabi ko na lang at napatungo saka pinaglaruan ang mga daliri ko.

Napaawang na lang ang labi ko nang hindi niya ako pinansin at muling ibinaling ang tingin sa laptop niya. Sisigawan ko na sana siya nang biglang tumunog ang phone niya. He took his phone on the table and answered the call.

“Hello.”

I bit my lower lip and glared at him. He didn’t look at me and continued talking to someone on his phone. Ganyan pala ang gusto niya ha.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at itinulak ang swivel chair niya. Natigilan na lang siya nang walang pasabing umupo ako sa kandungan niya. Good thing I’m wearning a flowy mid thigh dress.

I hugged his nape and stared in his blue eyes. I bit my lower lip and grind my hips against his. I smirked and looked at him seductively. I was so satisfied when I saw his Adam’s apple moved. He held my waist tightly, tila ba hindi alam kung itutulak ako o hihilahin pa palapit sa kanya.

“W-what you were saying again?” nauutal na tanong niya sa kausap.

My confidence increased when I felt his manhood getting harder in his pants. I hugged his nape tighter, mas inilapit ko ang sarili ko sa kanya.

He groaned huskily when my soft bossoms rubbed again his hard chest. I planted small kisses on his neck and gently bit his skin there. I moaned softly and grind my hips faster on his hardness.

“ Fuck, yeah… I-I understand, let’s talk later. Bye.”

Natigilan ako nang bahagya akong itulak ni Zakarius. He took his laptop and put it on the other table as well as his phone. My forehead furrowed, is he not attracted to me anymore.

Natigilan ako nang muling lumapit sa ’kin si Zak. He stared at me with his intense eyes, grabbed my arm, and pulled me closer to him.

“Punishment time, my angel,” he murmured and kissed my lips gently. 

I gasped and clung on his nape when he scooped me up and put me on top of the table. I bity lower lip as my cheeks heated when he sat on the swivel chair again and lifted the hem of my dress, exposing my legs.

“Z-Zakarius, what are you doing?” I frantically asked when he pulled my cycling down together with my underwear and threw it on the floor. He looked at me intensely and spread my legs. I gasped in shock and gripped his hair when he buried his face in between my legs.

“Fuck! Z-Zakarius…” I gripped his hair as my knees weakened when I felt his hot and soft lips on my feminity.

He spread my legs wider and pulled my hips closer to his mouth. My toes curled and my whole body convulsed when I felt the tip of his tongue teasing my sensitive nub. I gripped his hair and pulled him closer to me. I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip, trying to stop myself from screaming.

Damn, are we really doing this in his office? Fuck. What if someone enters and they saw me like this? Legs wide open while Zakarius’ face is in between my legs, kissing my lady part. Fuck. I’m nervous, but I don’t want him to stop.

“Aaahhh… Z-Zak, baby, n-not too much… Please,” I begged. He didn’t listen, he pushed his tongue inside my hole and tease my insides. I bit my tongue and groaned helplessly, my knees are literally shaking. My body is about to collapse on his table because of too much sensation. He just put both of my legs on his shoulders and buried his face more.

“Oohhh… Fuck, aahhh, y-you’re so good… I can’t take it anymore,” I cried. He swirled his tongue around my cl-t, teasing me. I bit my lower lip and jerked my hips, urging him to lick the perfect spot. Damn, why is he so good at this? Why is he so good at teasing me? Mababaliw ako sa ginagawa niya.

“Fuck! Z-Zak, aaahhh.. Hmm…” I bit my tongue to stop myself from screaming. Kanina ko pa gustong sumigaw ngunit pinipigilan ko dahil baka may dumaan sa labas ng office niya.

I clung on his nape and grind my hips on his sinful lips and tongue when he starts kissing my wetness. He moved his lips and tongue on my center as if he’s just kissing my lips. My eyes dilated as I looked at the ceiling, waves of pleasure is dominating my body. I can’t think of anything else right now, the pleasure he’s giving to me right now is so unbearable. His tongue and lips alone are making me crazy.

His tongue found my cl-t again and fired off short little licks and sucks. I let out a soft cry and spread my legs wider for him. Binitiwan ko ang buhok niya at napakapit sa mesa.

“Z-Zak, aahhh… I-I’m near, baby, please, lick me more…” I moaned and thrust my hips on his lips.

My toes curled when I felt something building up in my tummy. I gripped his hair again and moaned, my whole body is trembling because of the pleasure he’s giving to me.

I almost lose it when he hardened his hot tongue and starts thrusting it inside my tight hole. He let out a manly groan and teased my hole with the tip of his tongue, trying to put it inside me, then pulling it out again. I thrust my hips, trying to keep up with his playful tongue.

“Fuck… Aahhh, Z-Zakarius, oohhh…” I writhed on the table. Halos masabunutan ko na rin si Zak but he doesn’t seem to mind.

My whole body shuddered as I came. My eyes dilated while he’s licking all of my release. I was panting real hard and catching my breath. Tila saglit akong nawala sa sarili ko.

“Z-Zak… W-what are you doing?” I asked, stuttering, when he starts kissing my lady part again eventhough I just had my release, my feminity is still sensitive.

“Hmm… Aaahhh, Z-Zakarius, I-I can’t take this anymore. Fuck, oohhh,” I wailed. I gripped his hair tighter when I felt him slowly putting his index finger inside me.

I looked at him. My cheeks heated and my heart throbbed like crazy when I realized that he’s staring at me while licking and kissing and sucking my center as he finger-fuck me. He looks so hot right now. My feminity clenched because of his hot stare and sexy eyes. Damn, his eyes alone are sexy. He’s too much to handle.

He moves his finger faster while licking my cl-t, then sucking it and flicking it again with his tongue. He rammed his finger inside me faster, my lips parted as my insides churned with sensation when he put hisiddle finger together with his index finger. Damn, it’s just his fingers and tongue but I’m here, moaning like my life depends on it.

Natigilan ako at napasinghap nang makarinig ng katok sa pinto.

“Direk! Hindi pa po kayo nakain, kanina pa. Okay lang po ba kayo riyan?!”

“Z-Zak, t-there’s someone outside,” I frantically murmured and tried to push his head away from my core.

I bit my lower lip because he didn’t listen, he just continued licking and finger-fucking my womanhood. My heart is beating hard and fast right now, I’m nervous as fuck… But damn, I also don’t want him to stop.

“Aahhh…” I released a breathy moan when he removed his fingers inside me and replaced it with his tongue. My eyes dilated and my toes curled. Fuck, he’s so good.

“Direk, hindi ka po ba kakain?”

Muling umakyat ang kaba sa dibdib ko nang mapansing hindi lang isang tao ang nasa tapat ng pinto ni Zak.

“Zak, stop, please… W-we might get caught, stop, baby… Aahhh,” I lose it again when he starts tongue-fucking me. I just groaned and spread my legs wider for him. He just pulled my hips closer to him when I tried to push his face away from my center.

His mouth, lips, and tongue never stopped working on my wet center. His tongue lashed inside me, driving me wild, making me moan helplessly and writhe on top of the table.

“Direk? Nagpapalipas ka po ba ng gutom?” Muling may kumatok. I just bit my tongue to suppress my moans. Fuck.

Zakarius finally distanced his face on my feminity. He looked at the door and hissed as if he’s annoyed.

“Don’t mind me. I’m eating right now!” he shouted and positioned his face in between my legs again. I just moaned helplessly and gripped his hair again.

Yeah, right… He’s eating me.

Chapter Seventeen

“A-are you crazy?! Paano kung binuksan ng mga ’yon ang pinto?!”

He didn’t answer me. He just keep on wiping my center part gently. I just bit my lower lip and turned my gaze away from him. My cheeks suddenly heated up. Damn him, why is he always doing that? I mean, I find it sweet, but fuck, it’s embarrassing as hell.

He took my underwear and my cycling on the floor. Binuhat niya ako paalis ng mesa at pinatayo. Umupo siya sa swivel chair at isinuot sa akin ang underwear at cycling ko. I just scoffed and bit my lower lip, what a gentleman.

He fixed my dress and my hair. Hindi pa rin ako makatingin nang ayos sa kanya. Nang matapos siya, muli niyang kinuha ang laptop at nilagay sa table. Napakunot na lang ang noo ko nang mag-type na siya ro’n na para bang walang nangyari.

What the hell? Is he still mad at me? He ate me on top of the table like a starved man and that’s it? Hindi na niya ulit ako papansinin? That’s fucking absurd!

“Hey, look at me,” I demanded and punched his arm lightly.

He didn’t even flinch and just continued typing something on his laptop. I groaned in frustration and stomped my feet. How dare he ignore me like this?!

Ano ba ang puwede kong sabihin?

“May kasalanan ka rin sa ’kin, y-you did that horrible thing to me on top of that table while someone’s knocking! What if someone entered? Masisira ang career nating pareho! And the most important thing of all, they almost saw me looking like that, legs spread wide w-while… Basta!” nakapamaywang na sabi ko at itinulak ang swivel chair niya. Kung galit siya sa akin, mas magagalit ako sa kanya.

He looked at me with cold eyes and showed me a red small button on the corner of his table. I lifted my eyebrow while looking at it. Ano naman ang meron do’n?

“This button instantly locks my door since I don’t want someone entering my office. Do you think I’ll let them see you like that?” he asked in a cold tone, with a hint of sarcasm. “I’ll kill them if they happen to see your private parts.”

My whole body shivered with his remark. I just bit my lower lip because I felt something in my stomach I couldn’t explain.

Muli niyang ibinaling ang tingin sa laptop niya. Napaismid na lang ako dahil ang cold pa rin niya. I thought bati na kami, bakit nagagalit pa rin siya?

“Hey, why are you still mad? I brought your cake and cupcakes. I’m here to apologize, and besides, hindi ko naman alam na birthday mo. You should have told me, edi sana hindi na ako nagpunta sa party ni Castor.” I grabbed his swivel chair and made him face me.

Bahagya akong napaatras nang mapakunot ang noo niya. Palagi siyang walang emosyon at madalang ko makita ang ganitong reaksyon mula sa kanya.

Gano’n ba katindi ang galit niya sa ’kin?

“For what? Mas importante naman sa ’yo ang Castor na ’yon. Just go to him, it’s obvious that you’re enjoying his company more than mine,” he murmured and looked at his laptop again.

My lips parted because of his childishness. Damn, why is he suddenly acting like a jealous 5-year old child right now?

Fine. He’s still cute.

“Kaya nga ako nandito dahil mas gusto kitang kasama, e!” nakakunot-noong singhal ko saka napapadyak sa sahig.

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. Napatingin siya sa ’kin, napansin ko kaagad ang pag-iiba ng tingin niya. Nawala ang pagkaka-kunot ng noo niya saka tila umamo ang asul niyang mga mata.

“Is that true?” he asked like a cute puppy. Damn, I suddenly want to kiss this cute man until he realizes that he’s the only one I want.

“Mukha ba akong nagjo-joke? I’m here nga para bumawi sa ’yo, diba?” I said and rolled my eyes at him.

He held my wrist and pulled me to sit on his lap. He hugged my waist and kissed my cheek softly, his feather kiss feels heavenly.

I cleared my throat and hugged his nape. I avoided his gaze and just looked at my hands. Matutunaw ako sa tingin niya. My heart is so weak when it comes to him, simpleng tingin niya lang para ng sumasayaw ang puso ko. What the hell is he doing to me?

“Ahm, belated happy birthday, Zak.”

Hinawakan niya ang baba ko at pinaharap ako sa kanya. I bit the insides of my cheeks as our eyes met. He has the most mesmerizing eyes, he can cause an uproar in my system just by staring at me.

“Thank you,” he mumbled and buried his face on my neck. Paborito niya talagang gawin ’yan, hindi na lang ako tumututol dahil gusto ko rin naman.

“I skipped my work today to make it up to you. Ano ba’ng gusto mong gawin natin ngayong araw?” tanong ko at marahang hinaplos ang buhok niya.

He planted soft kisses on my neck and inhaled it. I just bit my lower lip to restrain my giggles and continued caressing his soft hair.

“Let’s have a date.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Inalis niya ang mukha sa leeg ko at tumitig sa mga mata ko. He looked at me with his kinda puppy eyes. I bit my lower lip and sighed.

“You know we can’t do that, Zak. I’m an actress, maraming nakasunod sa bawat galaw ko. A simple wrong move can ruin my career and those I’ve worked hard for,” I explained and held his sharp and clean-shaved jaw. He just held my hand and kissed it gently. My heart throbbed because of what he did. His simple gestures can make my heart go wild that even the Philippines’ hottest actor can’t do.

“I know, don’t worry, I prepared everything. All you have to do is to go home, change your clothes and wear comfortable ones, and go to the address I’ll send you,” he explained and gave me a small smile.

Fuck, why is he smiling like that? Para ng sasabog ang puso ko dahil sa simpleng ngiti niyang ’yon.

“What are you up to?” I asked, kinda suspecting.

“It was my birthday yesterday, hindi mo ba ako pagbibigyan?” tanong niya, tila nangongonsensya pa. Napairap na lang ako.

“Fine… pero bakit mukhang planado mo ang araw na ’to? Diba nagtatampo sa ’kin kanina lang?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko.

“Kanina lang ’yon,” sabi na lang niya saka muling sumubsob sa leeg ko. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at hinayaan siya.

What can I do? Just like what he said, birthday niya kahapon, I’ll make it up to him.

I WORE comfortable clothed just like what he said. I’m wearing a simple t-shirt and jogging pants. I also wore face mask and shades to be sure, mahirap na.

Zakarius sent the address to me. He wants me to go to an amusement park. I didn’t realize that I’m giggling unconsciously while driving. Is he a kid? Why does he want to go to an amusement park? But well, if that what he wants, what can I do?

Hindi ko alam kung bakit gusto ni Zakarius na mag-date kami sa amusement park kung kailan madilim na. Siguro para walang masyadong makakilala sa ’kin dahil madilim naman.

Agad akong bumaba ng kotse nang makarating ako sa amusement park. Ang daming mga lalaking nakabantay sa gate ng amusement park. To be honest, they all look like assassins. Natatakot tuloy akong pumasok sa loob.

May lumapit sa aking isang lalaki. Napataas na lang ang isang kilay ko.

“Ma’am, Sir Zakarius is waiting for you inside,” sabi ng lalaki sa matigas na ingles… he’s a foreigner, huh.

Naiilang na ngumiti na lang ako sa kanya at pumasok sa loob. Napakunot na lang ang noo ko nang mapansing walang katao-tao sa loob. Bukas naman ang mga ilaw at rides pero walang tao.

Ano ba’ng mga pakulo ni si Zak?

Natigilan ako nang matanaw ko siya sa isang cotton candy stall. I just bit my lower lip and giggled when I saw him eating a pink cotton candy. Mukhang may tao naman pala dahil may tindero.

Naglakad ako papalapit sa kanya. I can’t take my eyes off him, I’m so entertained watching him eat a cotton candy. I noticed that Zakarius likes anything pink aside from gray, he likes strawberry flavored sweets. What a cutie. I’m not even turned off, I find him cute. Saka ano naman kung mahilig siya sa pink? Bawal bang magustuhan ng lalaki ang pink?

Napatingin sa ’kin si Zak. Agad siyang tumakbo papalapit sa ’kin at hinawakan ang kamay ko. He pulled me to the stall and took a cotton candy from the vendor and gave it to me. I just shook my head, refusing the cotton candy.

“I don’t eat cotton candy,” I said and just stared at his handsome face.

When will I get tired of that sinfully handsome face? I can stare at him forever.

“Did you rent this whole place?” I asked and roamed my eyes around. Wala talagang tao, may mga vendors lang sa paligid sa bawat stall. “Zak, paano kung makilala ako ng mga vendors na nandito?” I asked frantically and punched his arm.

“They won’t expose you, trust me. By the way, eat this cotton candy. Pink cotton candy is my favorite,” sabi niya saka kumurot sa cotton candy niya at itinapat sa labi ko.

Napairap na lang ako at hinubad ang face mask ko saka isinubo ’yon. Birthday niya nga pala kahapon, pagbibigyan ko na lang siya. Kinuha niya ang face mask ko at inilagay sa bulsa niya.

He held my hand and intertwined our fingers. I just bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling like an idiot. His calloused hand gave a familiar sense of comfort to my soul. I glanced at him and he’s busy eating his cotton candy.

“I thought this shit is corny. I directed a romance movie once, after that I didn’t accept any romance movies because I almost puke while directing every scenes, damn those corny shitty scenes… But doing all of these with you feels like those corny shitty scenes aren’t that bad after all,” he said and swayed our hands. I just giggled and let him do what he wants.

Holding hands while walking pa-sway sway pa with him feels good. I love romance genre but doing it in real life gives me an unfamiliar feeling. It makes my heart flutter.

Kung makapagsalita naman siya parang hindi pa siya nai-in love. Ilang taon din ang naging relasyon nila ni…

I sighed and shook my head. I’ll be selfish kahit ngayon lang. Saka ko na lang iisipin ang dapat kong gawin kapag bumalik na siya… Sa ngayon, gusto ko munang mahalin si Zakarius.

“Ah…” sabi ni Zakarius at tinapat sa bibig ko ang cotton candy. Natawa na lang ako at muling isinubo ’yon, baka magtampo pa siya.

“Open ba ang lahat ng rides dito, Zak?” tanong ko habang patingin-tingin sa paligid. Tumango naman si Zakarius saka tinapon ang plastic ng cotton candy sa trash bin na nadaanan namin nang maubos na niya ’to.

Natigilan ako nang hilahin ako ni Zak sa kung saan. Wala naman akong nagawa kundi ang magpatianod na lang sa kanya.

Napasinghap ako nang makita ang merry-go-round. Ako naman ang nanghila kay Zak, hinila ko siya papunta ro’n.

“Where are we going?” he asked and scratched his nape.

“Sumakay tayo riyan, Zak!” excited na sabi ko at itinuro ang merry-go-round.

Wala akong kalaro palagi noong bata ako kaya madalas ay mag-isa ako, madalang kong maranasan ang maglaro sa ganito noon dahil palagi akong mag-isa.

“Diyan mo gusto?” tanong ni Zak at itunuro ang merry-go-round. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko saka tumango.

I know him, he’ll say that I’m a childish bitch. 30 years old na ako pero gusto kong sumakay sa–

“Let’s go!” agad na sabi ni Zak at hinila ako sa merry-go-round.

Pumasok kami sa loob, pinatigil ng nagbabantay ang merry-go-round. Agad akong sumakay sa kabayo, sumakay naman si Zakarius sa katabi ng sa akin saka ito nagsimulang umandar.

“Woah! I missed this so much!” I yelled and raised my hands. I looked at Zakarius who’s sitting on a horse ride beside me.

He’s just staring at me while gripping the pole. He gave me a small smile and held my hand. I just giggled and swayed our hands.

This is just a simple moment, but this is so precious to me. Hindi ko na maalala kung kailan ako huling nag-enjoy nang ganito. Kami lang ang tao rito at tahimik pero sobrang saya ko pa rin.

During the ride, it feels like our heart and soul are one. He keeps on staring at me the whole ride as if I’m the most beautiful scene he has ever seen. Para na namang nagwawala ang mga paru-paro sa tiyan ko.

Pagkatapos namin sa merry-go-round, kung saan-saan pa kami sumakay. Sobra akong nag-enjoy dahil game si Zakarius sa lahat ng rides na ma-trip-an kong sakyan kahit pambata pa. Hindi naman siya nagrereklamo at halatang nag-e-enjoy rin.

Siya ang may birthday pero pakiramdam ko ako ang sinorpresa niya.

“Wow! Look at the beautiful view, Zak!” I frantically exclaimed when we’re finally at the top of the Ferris wheel.

We decided to ride in the Ferris wheel for our last ride.

“You’re more beautiful.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya at napatingin sa kanya na nakaupo sa tapat ko. Umupo siya riyan para daw matitigan niya ako nang maigi. Corny… but sweet.

“Alam ko na ’yan,” sabi ko na lang at muling tumingin sa labas. Nag-iinit na naman ang magkabilang pisngi ko, buti na lang at gabi na kaya hindi masyadong halata.

Nag-iinit pa rin ang pisngi ko nang makababa kami ng Ferris wheel dahil nakatitig lang siya sa akin imbis na sa view buong ride. I know I’m beautiful, but Zakarius makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful woman even though I’m really not. But damn, Zakarius always stares at me as if his world revolves around me.

“Let’s take a picture there!” I excitedly exclaimed and pointed the photo booth. I pulled him there and luckily, he didn’t protest.

Lalo akong na-excite nang makitang may mga props doon. Kumuha ako ng headband na may halo at isinuot ’yon.

“Look at me, I’m a real angel,” I said and chuckled.

Kumuha ako ng props na salamin na may bigote at malaking ilong saka ipinasuot ’yon kay Zak. Napahagalpak ako ng tawa sa hitsura niya at napahampas pa sa braso niya.

“You’re making fun of me,” reklamo niya saka kinurot ang pisngi ko.

“Okay lang ’yan, let’s take a picture!”

Kung ano-anong props ang pinasuot ko sa kanya habang picture taking namin sa photo booth. Hindi naman siya nagrereklamo at hinahayaan lang ako, kung minsan ay nakiki-pose pa siya.

When we’re finally done with picture-taking session. We took two copies of our picture and kept it in our wallets. Hindi ko talaga iwa-wala ito.

“Uuwi na tayo?” tanong ni Zak habang hawak ang kamay ko.

I swayed our hands and smiled sweetly at him. Damn, I almost forgot the most important part.

“Zak, sit here.” Pinaupo ko siya sa bench. “Wait here, may bibilhin lang ako. H’wag kang tatayo riyan,” sabi ko at pinaningkitan pa siya ng mga mata.

Zakarius just nodded like an obedient kid, cutie.

Agad akong nagtungo sa stall ng cupcakes. Bumili ako ng isang chocolate cupcake pati ng maliit na kandila. Buti na lang at meron.

I lit the candle and put it on the cupcake. Lumapit ako kay Zakarius at tumikhim. Agad siyang napatingin sa ’kin. I just smiled at him and sat beside him. I cleared my throat and started singing for him.

“Happy birthday to you…”

Zakarius stared at me, he’s looking at me with gentle eyes. His gentle eyes almost touched the depth of my soul, and filled the gaps in my heart.

“…happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you.” I smiled at him awkwardly after singing him a happy birthday. I’m honestly not confident with my voice. I’m a terrible singer, almost all of my fans know that.

“Happy birthday, Zak. Blow the candle and make a wish,” mahinang usal ko saka inilapit sa kanya ang cupcake.

Zakarius looked at the candle. He closed his eyes, I just stared at his face. I want to know what he wished for… Hiniling niya kaya na bumalik na si Jaze?

I just shook my head, I should stop thinking about that right now.

Hinipan na niya ang kandila nang idilat ang mga mata niya.

He gave me a small smile and held my hand. He pulled me closer to him and imprisoned me with his warm hug. I just closed my eyes and hugged him back. He caressed my hair gently and buried his face on my neck.

“Thank you for making my birthday more meaningful, my angel,” he murmured.

I smiled as my heart thumped when I heard him called me ‘my angel’. Ang sarap sa pandinig, parang hinahaplos ang puso ko.

Kunalas siya sa pagkakayakap sa ’kin at tinitigan ang mga mata ko. He gently rubbed my arm with his gentle hand. His other hand touched my cheek while staring at me intently.

He held my waist and pulled me closer to him. Napapikit na lang ako nang ilapit niya ang mukha sa ’kin hanggang sa magdampi ang mga labi namin.

His lips are like caressing mine with much affection and feelings. It was just a slow and gentle kiss but it feels like he’s already giving his heart and soul to me through our kiss.

Pinagdikit niya ang mga noo namin nang bahagya na niyang ilayo ang labi sa ’kin. Nanatili akong nakapikit habang dinadama ang mainit niyang hininga.

“Ti amo, Angel. Ti amo tanto.”

Chapter Eighteen

Ti amo tanto

I love you so much

I bit my nails while staring at my phone. Hindi ko na maalala kung gaano katagal na akong nakatitig sa phone ko. I know what ‘ti amo’ means ever since, but I don’t know why I’m staring at my phone for an hour now. Did I really hear it right?

Ti amo tanto ba talaga ang sinabi niya kanina? Baka naman tarantado? 

“Fuck!”

I groaned in irritation and punched my pillow. I want to ask him again but of course I won’t do that. How can I make him open up about it without telling it to him? Damn, this is so frustrating.

Natigilan ako nang lumabas na ng banyo si Zak. He’s just wearing pajamas, wala siyang damit pang-itaas at basa ang buhok niya. I unconsciously bit my lower lip while staring at him. Palagi ko namang nakikita ang katawan niya pero hindi masanay-sanay ang sistema ko.

“Are you alright? You seem mad,” he murmured and sat beside me. He hugged my waist and nuzzled on my neck. Napaka-clingy niya talaga.

“I’m not, let me go nga, magbihis ka muna,” masungit na asik ko at itinulak siya palayo.

Tumayo na lang siya at kumuha ng t-shirt sa drawer at isinuot ’yon. Medyo na-dismaya ako nang matakpan na ang matipunong katawan niya, pero ako naman kasi ang nagsabing magdamit siya.

Lumapit ulit sa ’kin si Zak. Umupo si Zak sa tabi ko at muling yumakap sa ’kin.

“Thank you for spending the night with me, thank you for making my birthday more special,” he murmured and nuzzled on my neck. I just scoffed and pushed him a little.

“Ten times mo ng sinasabi ’yan,” masungit na sabi ko at pinilit ko na lang na mag-focus sa phone ko kahit nasa kanya naman talaga ang atensyon ko.

“That was the first time I celebrated my birthday,” he mumbled.

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. My eyes widened and looked at him with disbelief as my mouth agape. I put my phone on the bedside table while still staring at him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked and raised my eyebrow at him.

“No, I don’t celebrate my birthday because for me it’s not necessary. For some unknown reason, I just thought of celebrating it with you yesterday.”

I sighed and stared in his blue eyes, mukhang seryoso nga siya. Mukha namang hindi siya malungkot habang sinasabi ang mga ’yon, pero bakit nga ba nagtataka pa ako? Madalas naman wala siyang emosyon.

“Bakit hindi ka nagce-celebrate ng birthday mo?” Iyon na lang ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

Zakarius scratched his nape and licked his lower lip.

“I don’t know… As far as I know, we celebrate our birthday because we are happy that we were born. I do not celebrate my birthday because I am not happy that I was born. Well, am I making any sense here?” he asked and avoided my gaze. He gave me an awkward smile and looked at me again.

“Ahm… you must be so sad, I’m sorry,” I mumbled. I honestly don’t know what to say. Should I make him feel better? Should I hug him? I don’t know.

His forehead creased while staring at me.

“I’m not sad about it,” he defended.

“You said you’re not happy about it, then you’re sad…” I mumbled. Fuck. I’m not making any sense too.

He just gave me a half smile and then chuckled. Natawa na rin ako dahil doon. Para pala kaming ewan dalawa. Ano ba ’tong pinagsasasabi namin?

Napatitig ako sa kanya, napatitig din siya sa ’kin. His eyes are telling me something I couldn’t explain, his eyes are always emotionless, this time, his eyes are showing me something he doesn’t show to anyone. My heart skipped a beat, my system is in ruckus again.

Natigilan siya nang lumapit ako sa kanya. Umupo ako sa kandungan niya at niyakap ang batok niya. Bumigat ang paghinga niya dahil sa ginawa ko. I just smiled at him and kissed the tip of his nose. Natigilan siya at tila hindi nakagalaw dahil sa ginawa ko.

“Please celebrate your birthday from now on… with or without me,” I murmured and gently caressed his face.

I know this is just temporary. Matatapos ang lahat ng ’to pagdating ni Jaze. Alam kong malaki ang kasalanan ko sa kanya, I’m willing to face all of it. Kakalimutan ko ang lahat ng naging ugnayan namin ni Zak, kakalimutan kong mahal ko siya… I know I can do that, I will be able to do that… But I’m sure it won’t be easy.

Zakarius held my hand and gently kissed the back of my palm. He closed his eyes and took a deep dreath. Mukhang maraming bumabagabag sa isip niya at tila ba napapakalma siya ng ginagawa niya. Napangiti na lang ako at nanatiling nakatitig sa kanya.

Zakarius opened his eyes and stared at me. He gave me a half smile and gently squeezed my chin.

“Well, you have to know that I’ll never celebrate my birthday again if you’re not with me,” he whispered and planted small kisses on my cheeks.

He hugged my waist and buried his face on my neck. I sighed and hugged him back. This simple gesture feels good.

Alam kong pansamantala lang ’to, pero wala naman sigurong masama kung damhin ko ang pansamantalang saya kasama siya.

---

Zakarius ‘fucking’ Cavalcante:

I have to stay here in my house tonight. Don’t worry about me, I’m just taking care of somethingsdnzn🍼

Napaakunot ang noo ko nang mabasa ko ang text ni Zak. Bakit may feeding bottle na emoji sa text niya? Napailing na lang ako, ano naman kaya ang ginagawa niya at nagkaganyan ang text niya?

“Whatever.” I looked at myself in the mirror. I fixed my hair and applied minimal make up.

Kakatapos lang ng shooting, sobra akong napagod dahil kinailangan kong bumawi sa mga araw na in-absent ko sa shooting.

“I’m done,” I murmured and stood up. Pinagpag ko ang halter top ko saka muling tiningnan ang sarili ko sa salamin.

I just shrugged and took my sling bag. Naabutan ko si Chan na naghihintay sa pinto pagkalabas ko. I took my car key from him. His lips parted and looked at me with confusion in his eyes. I just raised my eyebrow at him.

“I can go home by myself, alis na. Makipag-date ka na lang kay Cassian or what,” sabi ko na lang at agad siyang tinalikuran.

Agad na humabol sa ’kin si Chan at hinawakan ang braso ko upang patigilin ako sa paglalakad. I looked at him as my forehead furrowed. What the hell?

Namumula ang mukha niya, halos nakatungo na ako habang nakatingin kay Chan. Medyo maliit na lalaki kasi talaga siya, minsan ding napagkakamalan siyang babae dahil maamo ang mukha niya at may kaliitan ang katawan.

“H-hindi kami nagde-date ni Cassian,” depensa niya at hinampas ang braso ko. Napasinghap na lang ako at napahawak sa brasong hinampas niya.

“You two are obvious, so what if you two are dating? Bakit mo ikinakahiya at ano naman ang masama ro’n?” nakapamaywang na tanong ko.

I’m not dense, I know there’s something off about them. Nagbago ang pakikitungo nila sa isa’t isa at napansin ko rin ang pagiging protective ni Cassian kay Chan.

“W-we’re both guys,” he whispered and bit his lower lip. I just rolled my eyes at him.

“So what? Falling in love with a guy doesn’t make you less of a person. Date and love him freely, gender shouldn’t be a barrier when it comes to love. By the way, I’ll go ahead, bye!”

Hindi ko na siya hinintay na sumagot at agad ko siyang iniwan. I took my phone from my sling bag, tiningnan ko kung may text pa si Zakarius pero wala naman.

Iniisip ko pa rin si Zakarius habang nagmamaneho ako. Ano ba’ng meron sa kanya ngayon? He’s not like this, I’m always bombarded with his texts and calls. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit biglaan siyang umuwi sa bahay niya. Kulang na nga lang ay hindi na siya umalis sa bahay ko, e.

I sighed and punched the steering wheel. Kailangan ko siyang puntahan.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako mapakali. Maraming bumabagabag sa isip ko. Hindi ako matatahimik hangga’t hindi ko siya nakikita. Magdadahilan na lang ako kung bakit ako pupunta ro’n. Bahala na.

Nakarating din ako sa mala-presong bahay ni Zak. Until now, I don’t know why his walls are high as fuck. His walls could win the Guinness Book of World Records as the highest walls of all time… Well, I’m just overreacting.

The steel gate automatically opened, I don’t know why. Nare-recognize din ba ako ng high-tech scanner niya? Well, whatever.

Nag-drive na lang ako papasok sa loob ng bahay niya. Ipinarada ko na lang ’yon sa kung saan at agad na bumaba ng kotse. Natigilan ako nang biglang may pumasok sa isip ko.

What if he’s torturing or killing someone right now? Or what if…

Napailing na lang ako sa naiisip ko. Huminga ako nang malalim at nagtungo sa loob ng bahay ni Zak.

Tahimik ang bahay nang makapasok ako. Wala namang nagbago sa bahay niya simula ng umalis ako. The interior design is still grayish, with snake-design shits around.

Where the hell is he? Baka naman may underground something dito sa bahay niya at doon niya isinasagawa ang kung ano-anong krimen?

Umakyat ako sa hagdan para magtungo sa kuwarto niya ngunit natigilan ako sa sumalubong sa akin.

My eyes widened when I saw Zakarius with large and long snake encircled around his arm, he’s caressing the snake’s body like he’s not afraid at all. Napaawang ang labi ko nang makitang mas marami na ang aquarium-like thingy rito at may mga snakes sa loob.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makitang may ahas sa sahig at nagapang na papalapit sa ’kin. Agad na nagtayuan ang mga balahibo ko kasabay ng panlalamig ng mga kamay ko.

“Aaahhh!” I shouted like a crazy bitch and immediately ran down the stairs.

Dalawang hakbang na lang sana ang bababaan ko pero agad akong natisod at sumubsob sa sahig. Fuck! Zakarius’ snakes will kill me!

“Angel! Are you alright?”

Narinig ko ang boses ni Zakarius. I closed my eyes tightly because of embarrassment when I felt him gripping my arm gently. Dahan-dahan niya akong binuhat at dinala sa living room, pinaupo niya ako sa couch. Agad naman siyang lumuhod sa harapan ko at tiningnan ang paa ko.

“May masakit ba?” he asked while checking my feet. Tiningnan niya rin ang tuhod ko pati ang mga braso ko.

“Oo! Ang sakit ng hips ko at ng arms ko! Your snakes will kill me!” I frantically exclaimed and punched his chest.

“They didn’t do anything to harm you. My snakes are well-trained. I suddenly missed them that’s why I decided to stay here tonight,” he said and sat beside me. He gently held my arm and massaged it. I just rolled my eyes at him and hissed.

“Why do you love snakes so much? They are dangerous, they can swallow you alive, may nakikita akong gano’n sa movies!” sikmat ko saka tiningnan siya nang masama.

Zakarius chuckled softly and hugged my waist. I pushed him away and glared at him.

“Nasaan ang mga ahas mo?! H’wag mong sabihin na nasa labas pa rin sila?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko.

“Kinulong ko na sila… Come here, I wanna hug you,” he murmured and pulled me into a tight hug. I just scoffed and hugged him back.

“By the way, why are you here? Did you miss me?” he asked and looked directly in my eyes. I just glared at him and punched his arm.

“I just want to know what’s keeping you busy! Kung alam ko lang na snakes ang pinagkaabalahan mo edi sana hindi na ako nagpunta rito,” asik ko at itinulak siya palayo.

Agad akong tumayo at pinagpag ang damit ko. Muli ko siyang tiningnan nang masama nang tumayo rin siya at humawak sa kamay ko.

“Uuwi na ako, I can’t stay here with your snakes,” I hissed while gritting my teeth.

Inalis ko ang pagkakahawak niya sa ’kin at akmang aalis ngunit muli niyang nahawakan ang kamay ko. He hugged my waist from behind. Inilapat niya ang baba niya sa balikat ko at napabuntong hininga.

His hug instantly eased my anger away, I sighed and just let him hug me. I don’t know why I’m so marupok when it comes to him.

Simpleng dampi lang ng balat niya sa balat ko, nagwawala na ang sistema ko. Hindi maganda ’to, mas lalo lang lumalalamin ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya bawat araw, kahit alam kong walang patutunguhan ’to, kahit alam kong hindi magtatagal… I can’t stop my heart from loving him even though I know where this will end up. My heart is so stubborn to the highest, my heart doesn’t listen to what my mind says anymore.

“Stay here,” he murmured.

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at pinaharap ako sa kanya. He touched my cheek, he showed me his soft but super rare kind of smile. Tinitigan niyang maigi ang kabuuan ng mukha ko.

Kapag natitig siya sa ’kin nang ganiyan… pakiramdam ko mahal niya ’ko, pakiramdam ko walang Jaze sa puso niya at ako lang.

But of course, I’m just assuming things. He’s just bored, he doesn’t really love me. Nadadala lang siya dahil nami-miss niya si Jaze. He will never love me the way I love him.

Sobrang mahal ko siya na handa akong masaktan para lang makasama siya nang panandalian… kahit saglit lang.

Alam ko na hindi dapat… pero may parte sa puso ko na umaasang totoo ang sinabi niyang mahal niya ’ko.

---

“What have you done to Chan?!”

Agad kong inilayo ang cellphone ko sa tainga ko nang sigawan ako ni Cassian sa kabilang linya. Ano ba’ng problema niya?!

“What the fuck, Cassian?! You don’t have to shout!” I growled and rolled my eyes. Parang gusto ko tuloy siyang puntahan at suntukin.

“Chan is avoiding me and I know it’s because of you!”

Muli akong napairap, mukhang malakas na ang tama nitong si Cassian kay Chan, parang dati naman wala siyang pakialam kay Chan. Well, I’m happy for them, but it seems like they had a quarrel or what.

“H’wag ako ang sisihin mo, pwede? Baka naman may kasalanan ka sa kanya? Don’t bother me again, I’m busy right now. Bye!”

Agad kong ibinaba ang tawag niya at inilapag ’yon sa table. Bumalik na ako sa skin care routine ko. Pasimple akong tumingin sa phone ko, hindi na naman nagte-text si Zakarius, umalis din siya kanina at may pupuntahan lang daw. Is he busy with his snakes again?

After doing my skin care routine, lumabas ako ng kuwarto at nagtungo sa kusina. I took fruits from the refrigerator and sat on the chair. Hindi maalis ang tingin ko sa phone ko habang nakain ng fruits. Nags-scroll ako sa social media habang hinihintay ng text or tawag mula kay Zak. Dapat nandito na siya ng ganitong oras.

Electricty rushed through my veins when I heard footsteps, I just bit my lower lip and remained calm. I straightened my back and stroked my hair. Nanatili akong nakain ng prutas habang kunwari ay nakatingin sa phone ko.

Don’t let him know that you’re excited to see him, Angel.

“What took you so long?” I asked. I did my best to sound uninterested as I can.

“Angel.”

Natigilan ako nang marinig ko ang pamilyar na boses na ’yon. My eyes widened and my pulse raced. Napalunok ako at agad na napalingon sa likuran ko. Agad na nanghina ang mga tuhod ko nang makitang tama ang hinala ko.

“J-Jaze,” I mumbled. Even though my knees are shaking, I still did my best to stand up. Nanginginig ang mga kamay na inilapag ko ang phone ko sa mesa. Muli akong napalunok at naglakad papalapit sa kanya.

She’s just wearing a simple shirt and jeans which is unusual, she always wears glamorous clothes for she’s a fashion designer. But she’s still stunning and beautiful as ever. It feels like my heart sank because of an unknown feeling lingered in my system.

“I’m sorry, Angel. Did I make you wait for so long? Pinag-alala ba kita?” she asked and held my hand. She smiled at me and sighed.

“W-where have you been?” I asked, still stuttering.

“It’s not important. I just took a short vacation, inilayo ko lang ang sarili ko sa lahat pansamantala. Don’t worry, hindi ko na ulit uulitin ’yon. Pasensya na kung pinag-alala kita.”

Am I still a good friend? Bakit malungkot ako na bumalik na siya? Bakit parang hindi ako masaya?

“Jaze!”

Natigilan kaming pareho at napatingin kay Zakarius na kakarating lang. Agad siyang tumakbo papalapit sa ’min at hinawakan ang kamay ni Jaze. Tila humahangos pa siya at mukhang nagmadali siya papunta rito.

“Zak!” Jaze exclaimed in delight and let go of my hand. Agad siyang lumapit kay Zakarius.

Zakarius sighed and pulled Jaze closer to him. I bit my lower lip and turned my gaze away from them. Looking at them will be a fucking torture.

Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko at napatingin ako sa kanila. Zakarius closed his eyes and sighed once again. He intertwined their fingers while staring at Jaze, as if I’m not here.

“I’ll take you home, let’s talk there,” he murmured in a soft voice.

“Z-Zak, sorry dahil umalis ako nang gano’n gano’n na lang. I’m sorry if–” Zakarius immediately cut her off.

“It’s fine, I’m not mad at you. We’ll talk about it later, let’s go.” Hinila niya si Jaze, tinalikuran na nila ako. Ni hindi niya man lang ako kinausap o tiningnan man lang. Para bang si Jaze lang ang nakita niya at wala ng iba.

Muli akong napakagat sa ibabang labi ko at pinigilan ang sarili ko na maiyak, kahit wala na sila rito, ayaw ko pa ring umiyak.

Nanghihinang napaupo ako sa upuan at nanginginig ang mga kamay na napatakip sa mukha ko. Wala na akong nagawa nang umalpas ang mga luha mula sa mga mata ko.

This is so expected, I’m expecting this right from the start. Wala akong dapat sisihin dito kundi ang sarili ko dahil minahal ko si Zakarius kahit alam kong hindi puwede. Pero bakit sobrang sakit pa rin?

“F-fuck you, Zakarius!”

I know this is my fault but how dare he ignore me like that?! He made me feel worthless after making me feel like I’m the most beautiful woman in his eyes. He told me sweet nothings that swept me off my feet, he said I made his birthday more meaningful, he showed me his cute sides and his fears, he boosted my confidence in a way that no one have done before, he made me love him so much…

…and he said he loves me and made me believe it.

This won’t be easy, but I just have to accept the fact that Zakarius just used me to ease his boredom while waiting for Jaze… and I let him use me.

Chapter Nineteen

I look like hell.

I sighed and stared at the ceiling. Kanina pa tumutunog ang phone ko sa bedside table ngunit hindi sinasagot.

Kakagising ko lang but I feel so drained already, pinagod ko ang sarili ko ng ilang araw sa shooting. Kahapon ang last shoot ng movie namin ni Castor. Tinanggap ko kaagad ang susunod na political action movie na gaganapan ko without reading the whole script, gusto kong pagurin ang sarili ko, I want to distract myself from thinking about him… about them. I’m keeping myself busy just to avoid them.

Ilang araw na rin ang nakalipas nang bumalik si Jaze, ilang araw na rin akong umiiwas sa kanya. Sa totoo lang, nauubusan na ako ng excuses para hindi kami mag-usap. Nagpupumilit siya na kausapin ako. Sa totoo lang, nako-konsensya na ako dahil sa pag-iwas ko sa kanya. But what can I do? I can’t face her right now. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, nakokonsensya ba ako? Nagi-guilty ba ako sa ginawa namin ni Zak behind her back? O baka naman nasasaktan ako dahil nasa kanya na ulit si Zakarius?

Hindi ko na alam.

Halos isang oras din ang nakalipas bago ako nagkaroon ng lakas na bumangon at kuhanin ang phone ko saka sagutin ang tawag. I didn’t bother to look at the caller ID, basta ko na lang sinagot ang tawag.

“Hello,” I murmured.

“Angel, are you sure okay lang sa ’yo na simulan kaagad ang shooting? Kakatapos mo lang sa movie niyo ni Castor, you should take a rest. Hindi ka robot,” tila nag-aalalang sabi ni Cassian. Napairap na lang ako at tiningnan ang sarili ko sa salamin.

I look like a worned out bitch right now, wala akong make up kaya kitang kita kung gaano ako kapagod at kapuyat.

“Kailan ka pa naging concerned sa well-being ko?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko.

“I’m not concerned to your well-being ’no. Baka himatayin ka pa sa set at ako pa ang sisihin ng fans mo, tuktukan kita riyan, e. Saka alam mo bang–”

I shrugged and instantly ended the call, cutting him off. I don’t have energy to listen to his nonsense remarks. I sighed and put my phone on the table. Nagtungo na lang ako sa banyo para maligo.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal sa banyo. Ang daming tumatakbo sa isip ko… Hindi ako mahilig mag-overthink, gusto ko palaging chill lang. But Zakarius fucking came into my life again and ruined my peaceful mind. How can I stop thinking about him? Paano ko ba pipigilan ang sarili ko na mahalin siya?

Napailing na lang ako at lumabas ng banyo saka nagbihis. I wore a puff sleeve top and black skinny jeans, I paired it with my favorite wedge heels. I didn’t put much effort on my hair fixed it into a messy bun. I took my sling bag and my car key and left the house.

Hindi na ako nagpapasundo kay Chan, hindi na rin ako nagpapahatid sa kanya pauwi. Palagi akong sinasabihan ni Cassian na h’wag ko raw pagurin si Chan, minsan nga pakiramdam ko wala na ’kong PA. Si Chan naman ay halatang nahihiya paminsan-minsan sa pagiging showy ni Cassian. I admit, they’re a cute couple… kung couple na ba talaga sila.

Nakarating din ako sa agency makalipas ang ilang minuto. Script reading lang muna ang magaganap ngayon, na-pirmahan ko na ang movie contract kahapon. Hindi ko na binasa ng buo ang contract dahil wala ako sa mood, pinagkatiwalaan ko na lang dahil sabi ni Cassian magiging hit daw ’yon. Bahala na.

“My dear, Angel!”

Napairap na lang ako nang bumungad sa ’kin si Castor pagpasok ko sa building. Inakbayan niya ako saka kinurot ang ilong ko.

“My, my, you look like hell again. Baka naman isang oras ka lang natulog,” nakangiwing sabi niya pa.

“Hey, I still look pretty,” I murmured and touched my right cheek. Nakita ko naman sa salamin na maganda pa rin ako kahit mukha akong bangag, natakpan naman ng make up.

“Don’t underestimate me, Angel. Hindi matatakpan ng make up ang feelings mo. Well, you still look pretty… but you also look miserable at the same time.”

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at nagpatianod sa panghihila niya sa ’kin. Sad to say, kasama ko na naman siya sa movie. But unlike the previous movie, mas focus sa akin ang storyline ng movie na gaganapan ko ngayon kaya mas magiging busy ako. Well, that’s good, the busier, the better, gusto kong paguring maigi ang sarili ko para mawalan na ako ng time na isipin siya.

“What’s bothering you?” Castor asked and gently squeezed my arm.

“Nothing,” I mumbled.

Wala akong lakas na mag-kwento sa kanya ngayon.

“Okay, you know you can tell me everything, pero hindi naman kita pipilitin kung ayaw mo.” He smiled and winked at me. I just shook my head and gave him a half smile.

Sabay kaming dumating ni Castor sa meeting room. I froze when I saw him beside Cassian, tila may seryoso silang pinag-uusapan.

Naramdaman yata ni Castor na natigilan ako. He looked at me and gently shaked my shoulder, concern is written all over his face. I just bit my lower lip and turned my gaze away from Zakarius.

“You didn’t know? Director Cavalcante is our movie director, hindi ba nasabi ni Cassian sa ’yo?” bulong ni Castor. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at umiling.

I didn’t pay much attention about it, basta na lang akong pumirma sa kontrata, kung alam ko lang edi sana hindi na ako pumirma.

“It seems like you have some problems with him, aren’t you? Just keep your cool, you’re Angel Mendoza. You can do it,” Castor whispered to my ear and smiled at me. I just smiled back and straightened my back.

He’s right, I’m Angel Mendoza. Hindi dapat ako magpa-apekto sa kanya.

Castor guided me to my seat. Pasimple akong tumingin kina Zak, I was disappointed when I noticed that he didn’t even glance at me. I bit my lower lip and tried to act cool, just like what Castor said.

Castor sat beside me, he gave me a copy of the script. I sighed and calmed myself. Presensya pa lang niya, hindi na mapakali ang sistema ko.

THE SCRIPT reading session finally ended. Hindi ako mapakali, script reading pa lang ’yon pero nanghihina na kaagad ako. Paano pa kaya kung actual shooting na? Bakit kasi siya pa ang direktor? Kaya ko nga papagurin ang sarili ko ay para mawalan na ako ng time na isipin siya.

Hindi naman niya ako pinagtuunan ng pansin buong oras, he didn’t even look at me, but I’m uncomfortable. Siguradong hindi ako makakapagtrabaho nang ayos sa movie na ’to.

“Woah, I can really feel that there’s something wrong between the two of you,” Castor said while casually sitting on the couch. Nandito siya sa dressing room ko at malamang sasagap siya ng tsismis sa buhay ko.

“Don’t mind it,” I murmured and continued applying make up on my face.

“Seriously, what happened? Bakit hindi ka na tinitingnan ni direk? Dati halos hindi maalis ang tingin niya sa ’yo. Nagka-amnesia ba siya? Wow, akala ko sa movies lang nangyayari ’yon,” tila natatawang sabi ni Castor.

I threw my powder brush at him, he just laughed and immediately catched my brush. Tumayo siya at lumapit sa ’kin saka umupo sa katabing upuan ko. He put my brush on the table and looked at me, his eyes are now serious. He sighed and held my hand and my chin, marahan niyang inangat ang baba ko upang iharap ako sa kanya.

“Alam kong siya ang dahilan kung bakit ka nagkakaganyan. What did he do to you? Did he hurt you? You know you can tell me everything, my mouth is always sealed. Palagi naman akong nakikinig sa ’yo, diba?”

I sighed and bit my lower lip, I avoided his gaze and looked at the mirror again.

“My best friend finally came back. I guess you already know what that means. He doesn’t need me anymore, he doesn’t need someone to ease his boredom anymore. His girlfriend is finally here, wala na lang ako sa buhay niya ngayon.” Napalunok ako at napakagat sa ibabang labi ko. Nakakapanghina pa rin, para pa ring may patalim na sumasaksak sa dibdib ko.

“Gago pala siya, e,” napapailing na sabi ni Castor.

He gently squeezed my hand and smiled at me.

“Masyado kang maganda para isipin ang gagong tulad niya. I know, I can see that you really love him, but let’s be honest, he doesn’t feel the same way, because if he does, he will choose you and won’t let you feel worthless. I know it won’t be easy since he will be the director, but you don’t have any other choice but to forget your feelings for him. Don’t worry, I will help you. I will help you in any ways I can. So smile now, Angel. Nababawasan ang ganda mo kapag nakasimangot ka,” Castor said and smiled at me again. I just gave him a half-hearted smile. I sincerely appreciate his effort to make me feel good, but forgetting Zakarius will surely take a lot of time.

LUMABAS NA ako ng building pagkatapos kong mag-ayos, umalis na rin si Castor dahil may kailangan daw siyang puntahan.

I was about to get inside the car when someone held my wrist.

“Angel.”

I was taken aback when I saw it was Jaze. She sighed and let go of my wrist. I tried to calm my nerves, hindi ko alam kung bakit tila hindi ako mapakali. I’ve been avoiding her for days, I know she noticed it, but I really can’t face her now.

“Jaze, what are you doing here?” I asked and smiled at her. I tried to act cool, as if her presence doesn’t bother me.

“You’re avoiding me,” she said with finality in her voice. Her accusing eyes are penetrating into my system.

“I’m not, I’m always busy these past few days. Palagi akong pagod,” pagdadahilan ko na lang at marahang inalis ang pagkakahawak niya sa ’kin.

“Galit ka ba sa ’kin?” tanong niya, bakas ang takot at pag-aalala sa boses niya.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at tuluyang bumigay, nakonsensya ako sa paraan ng pagtingin niya sa ’kin na para bang natatakot siya na galit ako sa kanya.

Wala na akong nagawa nang yayain niya ako sa isang private restaurant. There are dividers per table kaya hindi ako masyadong nakakaagaw ng atensyon.

“Are you mad at me, Angel?” Jaze held my hand and looked at my eyes. I licked my lower lip and avoided her gaze.

“Hindi, nagtatampo lang. How can you disappear like that without telling me? Kung nagbabakasyon ka lang gaya ng sabi mo, sana sinabi mo sa ’kin,” I murmured and sighed.

Jaze lost her parents due to an accident during her elementary days, I admire her so much because she managed to live alone and survived. Kaya rin wala akong mapagtanungan kung nasaan na ba siya. Auntie niya lang ang sumuporta sa kanya na nasa abroad ngayon.

“You don’t seem worried, Angel. Are you really worried about me?”

Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. I looked at her with a hint of disbelief in my eyes. She just awkwardly smiled at me and sighed. She gently squeezed my hands, binitiwan niya rin iyon pagkatapos.

“Let’s just forget about it, Angel, everything that happened while I was gone. Isipin na lang natin na hindi ako umalis. Forget about everything that happened and I’ll do the same. Let’s not ruin our friendship because of this,” she said in a serious tone. I bit my lower lip and nodded. Hindi ko naiintindihan kung ano ang tinutukoy niya ngunit tumango na lang din ako.

What does she mean by that? What was she pertaining to?

“Are we good now? You won’t avoid me anymore?” she asked, still smiling at me. I just nodded and gave her an awkward smile. I don’t know why I’m so uncomfortable around her now, maybe it’s because I betrayed her, or maybe because I love her boyfriend… I want to be comfortable with her again, just like before.

“Nandito na si Zak,” Jaze excitedly exclaimed.

I froze on my seat when I heard his name. My pulse raced, something I couldn’t explain stirred in my insides. I took a deep breath and relaxed my nerves, kailangan kong alalahanin ang mga sinabi ni Castor sa ’kin.

Naramdaman ko na umupo si Zakarius sa tabi ni Jaze. I cleared my throat and straightened my back, trying to look cool as much as possible. I won’t let him see that I’m intimidated by his presence.

“Angel, isinama ko na rin si Zak. Okay lang ba? Sa building niyo rin naman siya nanggaling, e.” Jaze smiled at me sweetly. I just nodded and focused on my strawberry juice. Damn.

Um-order ng pagkain si Jaze. Vegetable salad na lang ang in-order ko dahil gustong gusto ko na kaagad umalis. Pasimple aking napapatingin kay Zak, tahimik lang siya habang naka-akbay kay Jaze, may pinagbubulungan silang dalawa na hindi ko marinig… They really look like a sweet couple, I feel like a third wheel here. Fuck.

“Angel!”

Tila nabuhayan ako ng dugo nang marinig ang pamilyar na boses na ’yon. The corner of my lips automatically lifted when I saw Castor walking to our direction. He’s wearing simple 3/4 sleeve shirt and jeans and paired it with an aviator shades. Ngumiti siya sa ’kin at naglakad papalapit sa ’min, pinagtitinginan na siya ng mga tao. I’m not surprised, he’s really a head-turner. Sa tingin ko nga ay kahit hindi siya mag-artista, sisikat pa rin siya.

“Hey, Angel. You ditched me on our date just to be a third wheel, not cool,” he said while smirking and sat beside me. Basta na lang ako nitong inakbayan saka hinubad ang shades niya. Napakurap na lang ako sa ginawa niya.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I whispered while gritting my teeth.

“Calm down, sexy vixen. I’m just trying to help you in this awkward situation. Thank me later,” he murmured and winked at me.

“You’re Castor Raven, right? I’m a fan, I’m Jaze, best friend ako ni Angel,” pagpapakilala ni Jaze saka tipid na ngumiti kay Castor.

“Oh, you’re Jaze. Girlfriend ka ni direk?” nakangising tanong ni Castor at tumingin pa kay Zak na tahimik lang, walang bahid ng emosyon sa mukha nito.

“Yes,” Jaze answered and hugged Zak. She kissed Zakarius’ cheek and nuzzled on his neck. Tipid na ngumiti na lang si Zak at muling inakbayan si Jaze

I took a deep breath and turned my gaze away from them. I bit the insides of my cheeks, trying to stop myself from bursting into tears. My hands are literally shaking, and my heart throbbed because of an unknown emotion dwelled in my system.

Pasimple akong kumapit sa laylayan ng damit ni Castor. Agad naman siyang napalingon sa akin. He held my hand and gently squeezed it, trying to calm me down. Muli siyang tumingin kina Zakarius at Jaze saka ngumisi.

“Pasensya na ha, kailangan ko ng kuhanin si Angel. Namimilit na kasi, e. Type talaga ako nito, ayaw lang aminin. Diba ’no?” nakangising tanong ni Castor at tumingin sa ’kin.

My eyes widened in shock when Castor kissed my temple and took my hand and put it on the table, he intertwined our fingers, purposely showing it to Jaze and Zak. I was about to say something but he just encircled his arm around my waist and smiled at me.

“Let’s go?” he asked while looking into my eyes. I gulped amd unconsciously nodded, I really want to get out of here. Hindi ko na kayang tingnan nang matagal sina Jaze at Zakarius, tino-torture ko lang ang sarili ko sa ginagawa ko.

Hinila na ako ni Castor patayo. Tipid na ngumiti na lang ako kay Jaze bago nagpatianod kay Castor. Inakbayan ako ni Castor habang naglalakad kami palabas ng restaurant, maraming nakatingin sa ’min pero tila wala na ’kong pakialam sa paligid.

We reached the car park, Castor took my car key from me and guided me inside my car. Sumakay na rin siya sa kotse sa may driver’s seat.

Lumingon ako kay Zak mula sa glass wall ng restaurant. My knees weakened when I caught him looking at me with some unknown emotion in his eyes. My system is in ruckus again, halos magwala ang puso ko sa bilis ng pagtibok no’n, namuo ang pawis sa mga kamay ko at nakipaglabanan ng tingin sa kanya. I was taken aback when Castor held my hand, he also held my chin and made me face him. He looked at me with intense eyes, I blinked twice… ngayon ko lang yata nakita na ganito ka-seryoso si Castor.

“Stop looking at him, look at me instead. Wala kang kahati, my attention is all yours.”

Chapter Twenty

Maybe Castor was just too carried away with helping me. I know him, he likes to joke around. I’m sure he’s not serious about it.

Nakarating na kami sa bahay, agad na lumabas ng kotse ko si Castor at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto. Inilahad niya ang kamay at iginiya ako palabas ng kotse saka inabot sa ’kin ang susi ng kotse ko.

“Thank you kanina. Without you, maybe I’m still stucked in that awkward and unpleasant situation with them. Halos hindi na ako makahinga nang ayos. Ang sakit nila sa mata,” I said and raised my eyebrow. Castor chuckled while shaking his head.

“Bitter queen,” he murmured while still laughing. I glared at him and punched his chest.

“I’m not bitter ’no, ang sakit talaga nila sa mata. Nanibago nga ako kay Jaze, hindi siya gano’ng ka-clingy kay Zakarius noon. I wanna puke,” I said as my forehead furrows. I’m so pissed. Maybe Castor was right, I’m a bitter queen. Damn them, damn Zakarius.

“Sus, sige na, hindi ka na bitter. Sige, una na ’ko. Mag-lock ka ng pinto ha,” bilin niya saka bahagyang ginulo ang buhok ko. I slapped his hand and glared at him.

“For your information, my house has a tight security system,” I boasted while raising my eyebrow.

Until now, I don’t know why Cadence and Zakarius managed to get inside my house, paano kaya nila nalulusutan ang security system ng bahay ko?

Bakit ko ba sila naiisip? I’m just giving myself an excuse to think about Zakarius. Fuck it.

“Paano ka uuwi, Castor? Where’s your car?”

“Ahm, I left it at the restaurant. Balikan ko na lang,” natatawang sabi niya at napakamot pa sa batok niya.

It seems like Castor has a cute side too. Bakit basta na lang niya iniwan ang kotse niya sa restaurant? Ganoon ba siya ka-determinado na tulungan akong makawala kina Zakarius at Jaze?

“I’ll take my leave. Next time, text or call me whenever you need help, I’m just one call away, vixen. I won’t let you become a third wheel again, my Angel Mendoza doesn’t deserve that,” he said and gently pinched my cheek. I just smiled and smacked his chest. Damn this man.

“Fine, thank you. You’re really a good friend,” I said and smiled at him.

For some unknown reason, his smile vanished. He just sighed and gave me a bitter smile afterwards and tapped my shoulder.

“It will be better if I’ll be more than just a friend to you,” he murmured and scratched his nape. My forehead creased.

“What?” I asked. I didn’t hear what he just said, ang hina ng boses niya.

“Sabi ko, ang guwapo ko. Sige na, aalis na ’ko. Bye.” He kissed my temple then immediately turned his back and walk away.

Napahawak na lang ako sa sentido ko na dinampian niya ng halik. Nawiwili yata siyang halikan ako rito. Well, that’s not a big deal for me, ilang beses na nga kaming naghalikan, kaso sa palabas naman ’yon.

Napailing na lang ako at pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Agad akong dumiretso sa kuwarto ko para maligo at magpalit ng pantulog.

I’ll just distract myself by watching movies or anime, I don’t want to give myself time to think about Zakarius. I’ll distract myself in any ways possible.

Magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong hindi ko siya nami-miss… I miss him so much, I want to hug him again, nuzzle on his neck… I want to feel his kisses and simple gestures again, I want to see his soft side again… I miss him so much that my heart can’t take it anymore.

I bit my lower lip and took a deep breath. Nararamdaman ko ang pag-iinit ng sulok ng mga mata ko. I want to burst into tears, but I have a shooting tomorrow… and I’m so tired of crying because of him.

I woke up from my thoughts when my phone rang. Natigilan ako nang makita ang pangalan ni Jaze sa caller ID. I nibbled my bottom lip while staring at my phone. I sighed, closed my eyes tightly, and finally answered her call.

“Hello, Jaze,” I said, I tried to sound cheerful as I can.

“Angel, are you dating that actor? I’m so happy for you! Bakit hindi mo man lang sinabi sa ’kin?” may bahid ng pagtatampo sa boses niya.

“Ahm, o-our status is complicated. I can’t say that we’re dating… but I can’t also say that we’re not,” I murmured.

Sorry, Castor. I need your help again.

“Is that so? It seems really complicated. If I were you, hindi ko na siya pakakawalan. Minsan lang ang ganiyang opportunity. Saka diba siya ’yong naka-date mo noon na nag-iisang nakatagal sa ugali mo? He’s the one, Angel, don’t let him go,” she said and chuckled on the other line. I just smiled awkwardly and scratched my nape.

“Castor not bad, he’s really the best option among the rest. Pero ayaw kong magsalita ng tapos,” sabi ko na lang at tiningnan ang sarili ko sa salamin saka tumayo at lumabas ng silid ko. Nagtungo ako sa kusina habang nakatapat pa rin sa tainga ko ang phone ko.

“Well, okay. Sayang lang kasi, baka maagaw pa siya ng iba sa ’yo. Mahirap na, marami ang mang-aagaw sa panahon ngayon.”

I froze with her remark. I licked my lower lip and sighed. I don’t know if she’s pertaining to me or not… pero natamaan ako, pakiramdam ko para sa akin ang sinabi niya.

“Hmm, okay. Sige, kakain muna ako ng fruits. Let’s talk again tomorrow, bye.”

Hindi ko na siya hinintay na sumagot at agad ng binaba ang tawag. I closed my eyes tightly and stroked my long hair with my fingers. I suddenly felt uneasy and tensed, I don’t know why.

Napailing na lang ako at kumuha mg fruits sa ref. I need to calm down and stop thinking about it, wala ’yong maidudulot na maganda sa ’kin. I’ll just shrug it off.

Just like what Castor said, I should remain cool and unbothered because I’m Angel Mendoza.

I just checked my twitter account. I just rolled my eyes when I saw the trending tweet, it’s about Castor and I. Lumabas na naman ang fans club kuno naming dalawa. Kumalat sa internet ang pictures namin sa restaurant kanina.

I just shook my head and continued eating my fruits. Natigilan na lang ako nang makarinig ako ng mga yabag. Agad akong napatayo at napalingon sa pinanggalingan ng yabag. Natulos ako sa kinatatayuan ko nang makita siya.

“What are you doing here, Zakarius?!”

He remained standing there, he’s a few meters away from me. He’s just staring at me with no emotion in his eyes. My forehead furrowed.

I tried to act cool and pretent like his presence doesn’t bother me. But to be honest, my heart is beating so fast, I can also feel something in my stomach. These butterflies always react when they feel Zakarius’ presence. Tila ba kilalang kilala na nila si Zak at kusa silang nagwawala sa tiyan ko kapag nararamdaman ang presensya niya.

“W-what the hell are you doing here?” I asked. I bit the insides of my cheeks because I stuttered. My plan to act cool is obviously failed, hindi mapakali ang sistema ko ng dahil sa kanya kaya kahit anong pilit kong kumalma ay hindi ko magawa.

“I’m here to get my things,” he said in a cold tone.

I cleared my throat and nodded. What the fuck am I expecting? Of course he’s just here to get his things… not because of me. Fuck my heart for hoping like a fool, damn it.

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa kanya. I stared at him as if his presence means nothing to me, I straightened my back, trying to show that I’m not affected by him. But damn, I want to hug him, to kiss him, to smell him… I want us to cuddle just like before. Damn, I miss him so much that just by seeing him like this feels like a fucking torture. Baka hindi ako makatiis at sugurin ko siya ng yakap.

Calm down, Angel. Don’t do something stupid.

“Okay, nasaan ba ang mga gamit mo? Ako na ang kukuha,” I said as my eyebrow shot up. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him with equal intensity.

“I’ll get it myself,” he mumbled and hastily left me here in the kitchen. My mouth agape in shock. Agad ko siyang sinundan nang magtungo siya sa silid ko.

He took his bag under my bed. I bit my lower lip as I watch him. Bakit nagagawa niyang umakto ng normal at basta na lang kuhanin ang mga gamit niya? Wala na ba talaga siyang pakialam sa mga naging alaala namin dito? Bakit parang hindi man lang siya natigilan? Bakit parang wala lang sa kanya? Bakit parang hindi man lang siya naaapektuhan?

Kinuha niya ang isa pang bag na katabi ng closet ko. Hindi niya ako binalingan ng tingin, akmang aalis na siya nang matigilan at napatingin sa direksyon ko. Tila natulos naman ako sa kinatatayuan ko at nanatiling nakatitig sa kanya.

“What?” I asked and raised my eyebrow, trying to look unaffected.

My lips parted when he threw one of his bag on the floor. My forehead creased and looked at him with disbelief. What is he up to? Tino-toyo na naman ba siya?

Zakarius turned his intense gaze away from me. He took a deep breath, his Adam’s apple moved sexily. He licked his lower lip… He seems tensed, it seems like he’s just trying to calm himself down or something. Ngayon ko na lang yata ulit siya nakitang nag-react nang ganito simula nang bumalik si Jaze. Ngayon na lang yata nagkaroon ulit ng emosyon sa mukha niya.

“That bag is heavy, I’ll come back tomorrow to take it,” he murmured and turned his raking gaze at me. My forehead furrowed, I looked at him as if what he said was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

“Why don’t you just take them both para hindi ka na babalik tomorrow? You’re just making your life harder, Zakarius,” I said and rolled my eyes at him.

Fine, I want him to come again tomorrow, but how can I move on from my love for him if I’m so marupok? I shouldn’t let my guard down.

Zakarius’ forehead creased. He didn’t say anything and just left me here in my room without saying anything. Napaawang na lang ang labi ko habang sinusundan siya ng tingin.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

---

“My dear Angel!”

Napairap na lang ako nang si Castor agad ang sumalubong sa akin sa set. Nandito kami sa may parang forest something, halos dito gaganapin ang halos lahat ng scenes. Maarte ako but I’m used to this kind of role. Dati nga ay nagpagulong-gulong ako sa putikan, sa maruming tubig, at kung saan-saan pa.

“You look so fresh, Angel. Baka maakit sa ’yo si direk. Stay by my side, mahirap na,” Castor whispered to my ear. I punched his chest and glared at him.

Ito ang unang beses na makaka-trabaho ko si Zakarius. I spent my time last night searching about how he works as a director. Base sa mga nabasa kong reviews sa mga artista rin na gaya ko, he’s a strict director, wala raw araw na hindi ito nagagalit sa shooting, but he’s very professional and an outstanding director.

Now I’m nervous. Hindi pa ako kinabahan nang ganito sa mga batikang direktor na nakatrabaho ko noon. I want to show him that I’m a good actress, I want to show what I’ve got. I can do this, I’m Angel Mendoza.

“Mukhang kabado ka, anghel. H’wag kang kabahan, bubuhatin kita sa bawat eksena,” tila nagyayabang na sabi nito. Muli akong napairap at sinuntok ang dibdib niya.

Nagpalit na ako ng damit, simpleng damit lang ang suot ko dahil ipapakita muna sa shooting ngayon ang pagt-training ko para maging assassin, this movie is all about my revenge. I became an assassin because my whole family was annihilated by some rich group at ako lang ang nabuhay. Meron pang mga back story, pero tinatamad akong alalahanin… But I’m certain that this movie will surely be a tough one.

Natigilan ako nang makita ko si Zakarius na abala sa pakikipag-usap sa cameraman, Assistant Director, at sa DP pagkalabas ko sa tent. He looks hot right now, his face screams authority and dominance.

I just shook my head and gently slapped my face. What the hell am I thinking right now?

Stop it, Angel. Be professional and don’t be intimidated by his presence.

I took a deep breath to prepare myself. I’m nervous as hell right now. Ngayon lang yata ako kinabahan nang ganito sa shooting.

“Angel.”

Napatingin ako kay Castor na hindi ko namalayang katabi ko na pala. He smiled at me and pinched my cheek, I don’t know why he always does that.

“Oy, ang sweet!”

Agad kong nilingon si Cassian nang kantiyawan kami nito. Naki-tili rin naman ang iba at tinukso kami ni Castor. Napairap na lang ako at tiningnan nang masama si Cassian.

I froze when Castor leaned forward, he grabbed my arm gently, and whispered on my ears. I just stay still and listened to him.

“Malay mo magselos si direk,” bulong niya saka natawa. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at hinampas siya.

“Bakit naman siya magseselos?” I asked as my eyebrow shot up. He just chuckled while nodding.

“You have a point there. Bakit nga naman siya magseselos eh hindi ka nga pala niya pinili?” nang-aasar na tanong niya. Sinuntok ko ang dibdib niya, natatawang hinawakan na lang niya ang kamay kong sumuntok sa kanya.

“Let’s start!”

Natigilan kami at napalingon kay Zakarius, he’s looking at us with no emotion in his eyes. I just avoided his gaze, bakit ba siya nakatingin?

Magsisimula na ang shooting, magsisimula ang scene sa natakbo ako habang papunta sa bahay para iligtas ang pamilya ko sa bingit ng kamatayan, base sa script.

“Quiet on set,” Zakarius commanded. I took a deep breath and prepare myself… Boses pa lang niya kinakabahan na ako.

“Sound?” the Assistant Director asked.

“Set!”

“Roll sound,” the AD said.

“Rolling!” the production assistant shouted.

“Roll camera.”

“Camera speed,” the first assistant camera said.

“Scene 1, roll 1, take 1!” the second Assistant camera shouted.

“…and action!” Zakarius shouted and stroked his hair using his hand like a shampoo model. Damn him.

I inhaled deeply and started running. Nag-dry run na kami kanina, pero nakakakaba ngayon dahil nanonood na si Zakarius. Why am I so bothered? Kailangan kong kumalma kung gusto kong maganda ang kalabasan nito.

Tumakbo ako papunta sa pababang parte kung saan magpapagulong-gulong ako ngunit napangiwi na lang ako, hindi swabe ang galaw ko ro’n. Imposibleng hindi ’yon mapapansin ni Zak.

“Cut!”

I bit my lower lip amd closed my eyes tightly when Zakarius shouted, sabi na nga ba. Lumapit sa ’kin si Chan at tinulungan akong tumayo.

Hindi naman nagsalita si Zak, pinagsabihan lang ako ng AD. I just nodded, trying to absorb what the AD just said. I can’t focus for heaven’s sake!

Naka-ilang take na kami, nakatitig lang si Zakarius sa ’kin at AD na halos ang nagsasabi ng cut.

I bit my lower lip and took a deep breath, pang-ilang take na ’to. Magsisimula na sana ulit kami nang muling magsalita si Zakarius.

“Wait.” Zakarius looked at me. “What are you doing, Angel? Stay focused. Baka abutin tayo ng ilang oras sa scene lang na ’to,” Zakarius said in an authoritative voice.

“Sorry, direk,” sabi ko na lang at napaiwas ng tingin sa kanya.

This is all your fault! You’re distracting me!

“Chill ka lang, you seem bothered,” sabi ni Castor nang lumapit siya sa ’kin. Pinunasan niya ng towel ang mukha ko.

“Let’s start!”

Natigilan kaming pareho ni Castor nang agad na sumigaw si Zak. I sighed and slightly pushed Castor. He just chuckled and pinched my nose.

“Show him what you’ve got, h’wag kang kabahan sa presensya niya.” Pagkasabi no’n, umalis din agad si Castor.

“Action!”

Nagsimula ulit akong tumakbo. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang mawalan ako ng balanse at tuluyang nadapa. Napangiwi na lang ako at agad na tiningnan ang tuhod ko, buti na lang walang sugat.

“Cut!”

I looked at Zakarius. He seems mad, really mad. He inhaled deeply and massaged his temple. He licked his lower lip and looked at me intensely.

“What the hell are you doing? I’m expecting more than this, Ms. Mendoza. You’re disappointing me. I guess you’re just good in romance shit genres, huh.” He turned his gaze away from me and looked at the staffs. “Everyone, 20 minutes break!” he commanded and immediately turned his back and left.

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from bursting into tears. Hindi ito ang unang beses na napagalitan ako ng direktor, yung iba ay mas masakit pa ang nasabi lalo na noong baguhan ako… Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit ang bigat sa dibdib ng kay Zakarius.

Lumapit sa ’kin si Castor at binalutan ng towel ang likod ko saka binuhat ako. Hindi na lang ako nag-protesta at hinayaan siya.

Fuck you, Zakarius!

---

“I hope you rot in hell, assh-le,” I murmured while staring at myself in the mirror, doing my skin care routine.

Hanggang ngayon dinadamdam ko pa rin ang pagpapahiya sa ’kin ni Zakarius kanina sa shooting. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha niya.

“Fuck him! Fuck him! Bwisit! Bwisit talaga!”

Naiinis na binitiwan ko ang skin care product na hawak ko. Pati sa pagpapaganda, hindi ako makapag-focus.

Tumayo na lang ako at nagtungo sa kama at umupo ro’n. Paano kaya ako makakatulog nang hindi iniisip ang lalaking ’yon?

Natigilan ako nang marinig kong bumukas ang pinto sa kuwarto ko. Agad akong napatayo at napatingin do’n. Gano’n na lang ang gulat ko nang makitang si Zak ang pumasok… pasuray-suray siyang maglakad.

What the fuck? Is he drunk?!

“What the hell are you doing here again?!” I asked and put my hand on my waist.

Zakarius didn’t say anything. Naglakad siya papalapit sa ’kin at walang sabi-sabing niyakap ang baywang ko saka isinubsob ang mukha sa leeg ko.

I inhaled his scent, napangiwi na lang ako dahil ang lakas ng amoy ng alak sa kanya. What the hell? Nahanap na niya si Jaze, bakit pa siya nagwa-walwal?!

“L-let me go,” I murmured and tried to push him away but he just hugged me tighter.

“I-I’m sorry if I embarrassed you like that earlier, my angel,” he mumbled and planted kisses on my neck. I inhaled deeply and tried to push him again.

“I don’t mind, you’re just doing your job. Let me go!” I tried to push him again… but damn, I’m so weak.

My heart is beating like crazy in my ribcage right now. Damn, I missed this so much. I missed him hugging me like this and nuzzling on my neck. I missed him so much that I badly want kiss him and claim him… without thinking about Jaze.

“I missed you so much, my angel,” bulong niya saka inalis ang pagkakasubsob sa leeg ko.

He stared at me as if I’m something he’s longing for, his blue eyes glistened with unknown emotion I couldn’t discern. I avoided his gaze and pushed his chest but he held my back and pulled me closer to him.

I gasped in shock when he crushed his lips on mine without any warning. Tila nawala sa isip ko ang lahat ng bagay nang maramdaman ko ang labi niya sa akin.

Bumagsak ang likod ko sa kama. He positioned on top of me while still kissing me with much passion and hunger. When our lips touched, I realized that my heart is so weak when it comes to him… Fuck.

Natigilan ako nang bigla siyang bumagsak sa ibabaw ko. I blinked twice and looked at him… Mabigat na ang paghinga niya at mukhang tuluyan na siyang bumigay dahil sa kalasingan.

I bit my lower lip and sighed. Marahan ko siyang itinulak at pinahiga siya sa tabi ko. I scratched my nape and covered him with my comforter. He’s now sleeping peacefully like a baby… what soft guy .

I stared at him and gently stroked his hair with my hand. Paano ko ba mapipigilan ang sarili ko na maging marupok pagdating sa kanya? Bakit niya ba ako pinapahirapan at pinapaasa nang ganito.

I leaned over him, closed my eyes, and gently kissed his soft lips. Kahit ngayon lang, I just want to kiss him one last time… and I promise that this is going to be the last one, for real.

“I knew it.”

I froze when I heard that familiar voice. Agad akong lumayo kay Zakarius at napalingon sa pinanggalingan ng boses. Agad na nanginig ang buong katawan ko nang makita siya na nakatayo sa pintuan habang nakatitig nang masama sa ’kin. Namumula ang mga mata niya at nagbabadya ng kumawala ang mga luha mula sa mga mata niya.

“J-Jaze.”

Chapter Twenty-One

I’m expecting a hard slap from her, and she did slap me. But the look in her face is much painful than her slap, seeing her eyes dwelled in tears and her quivering lips… It makes me feel like I’m the worst friend alive, and I guess I really am.

“What was that, Angel?! Why did you kiss my boyfriend?!”

Napatungo ako at napahawak sa braso ko. I avoided her gaze. I don’t know what to say… Gusto ko na lang mawala na parang bula sa harapan niya. I bit my lower lip and calmed my nerves, sobrang lamig ng mga kamay ko.

“J-Jaze, let’s not talk here, d-doon tayo sa living room. Please,” I murmured and glanced at Zakarius who’s peacefully sleeping on my bed without knowing what’s happening right now. I inhaled deeply and looked at Jaze again.

Hindi na siya nagsalita at padabog na lumabas ng silid ko. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko upang pakalmahin ang sarili ko.

I don’t have any other choice but to face this, hindi puwedeng takasan ko ito habang buhay. Alam ko rin na malaki ang posibidad na hindi na ako patawarin ni Jaze.

I took a deep breath once again and followed Jaze. Nasa living room siya habang nakatingin pa rin nang masama sa akin. Ang sakit sa dibdib na makita siyang ganito kagalit sa ’kin, pero sana naisip ko ’to bago pa ako mahulog nang tuluyan kay Zakarius.

I’m a foolish bitch, I know.

“You know I’ve always treated you like a sister, Angel. Itinuring kitang pamilya na maagang ipinagkait sa ’kin! Alam mo rin kung gaano ko kamahal si Zakarius, a-alam mo ’yan noon pa lang!” her voice broke and she finally bursts into tears. Nanginig ang kalamnan ko nang makita siyang lumuluha, nanghina ang mga tuhod ko kasabay ng pagbagsak ng mga luha ko.

Naglakad ako papalapit sa kanya at sinubukang hawakan ang kamay niya ngunit agad niya akong itinulak palayo.

“I-I’m sorry, Jaze. I tried to stop myself, I tried to suppress my own feelings. Believe me, p-please.”

I froze when she slapped me again. I just gulped and endure the pain it caused. This is nothing compared to her pain right now. I should endure this, this is all my fault.

I realized that I’m also weak when it comes to her. My heart is throbbing with pain, seeing her cry like this… seeing her cry like this because of me breaks my heart. I ruined her, I’m the one who ruined our friendship.

“You didn’t do your best, Angel! Ginusto mo rin! Wala kang pakialam sa pagkakaibigan natin dahil kung meron, h-hindi mo gagawin sa ’kin ’to!” she shouted. Namumula ang mukha niya habang patuloy sa pagluha. Lalo akong nasasaktan dahil kitang kita ko ang sakit sa mga mata niya.

I covered my mouth to fight my sobs. Pakiramdam ko bibigay na ang katawan ko dahil sa panghihina anumang oras. It feels like I finally reached my weakest point, Jaze is my weakest point. I don’t know if I can still continue without her, she completed me, she’s the friend I ever wished for… and I did this to her, I betrayed her.

Jaze wiped her tears. She inhaled deeply, she calmed herself, and looked directly at my eyes.

“A-aminin mo sa ’kin, ano’ng nararamdaman mo para kay Zak? Aminin mo sa akin, Angel,” sabi niya sa matigas na boses.

Natigilan ako, nanatili akong nakatitig sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin. Buong buhay ko palagi akong handa sa bawat tanong na ibinabato sa ’kin… Ngayon lang ako nahirapan sumagot nang ganito, pakiramdam ko sa isasagot ko nakasalalay ang pananatili ng pagkakaibigan namin.

“I love him, Jaze. I-I love him so much… I love Zakarius Cavalcante so damn much,” I murmured and closed my eyes tightly.

I chose to be honest with her and with my feelings. Ilang taon kong kinimkim ang nararamdaman ko sa tuwing nakikita ko silang magkasama ni Zakarius, ang tagal kong kinimkim ang totoong nararamdaman ko at nagpanggap na masaya para sa kanila.

I want to be honest, I know where this will lead me, us, but I want to voice my feelings out this time. Ayaw kong magkaayos kami pero kailangan ko na namang magpanggap.

I looked at Jaze, she bit her lower lip as tears streamed down from her eyes on her cheeks. I avoided her gaze, nanghihina na naman ako… Sobra akong naiinis sa sarili ko dahil pinahihirapan ko siya nang ganito.

“Kailan pa, Angel? S-sabihin mo sa ’kin!” she shouted and pushed me again. Tuluyan na akong napaupo sa sahig dahil sa panghihina ko.

Kahit nanginginig ang nga tuhod ko, kumapit ako sa mini table at pilit na tumayo at muli siyang hinarap. I’m a strong independent woman, but I’m so weak right now. Nanghihina ako dahil alam ko ang magiging ending naming dalawa. I will lose my friend as well as the man that I love… I’ll lose them both.

“M-mahal ko na siya bago pa maging kayo Jaze, mahal ko na siya noon pa,” mahinang tugon ko sa nanginginig na boses.

Jaze looked at me with disbelief. She groaned in pain and pushed me again. Muli niya akong sinampal, saka sinampal ulit… Paulit-ulit niya akong sinampal ngunit hindi ko siya pinipigilan.

“All this time… naghahanap ka lang ng chance na maagaw sa ’kin si Zakarius. Gano’n ba?! All this time hindi mo ako itinuring na kaibigan kundi kaagaw! How dare you, Angel?! I treated you like a sister I never had. Paano mo nagawa sa ’kin ’to?! S-siguro tuwang tuwa ko no’ng umalis ako, siguro tuwang tuwa ka at hiniling mo na h’wag na akong bumalik!” She gave me one hard slap again.

Napahawak ako sa pisngi kong sinampal niya. Tuluyan ng umagos ang mga luha mula sa mga mata ko.

“H-hindi totoo ’yan, Jaze. Alam mong itunuring din kitang kapatid! You know how important you are to me. Hindi ako naghintay ng chance na maagaw si Zakarius gaya ng iniisip mo. Heaven knows how I tried to stay away from him! Pero siya ang lapit nang lapit, siya ang kumuha sa ’kin! I did my best to stop my feelings for him. Siya ang lumapit sa ’kin, Jaze. I know, kasalanan ko rin dahil hindi ko napigilan, but you have to know that Zakarius pushed himself on me, Jaze. I’m just a weak woman when it comes to love… when it comes to him. I’m sorry, Jaze. Puwede mo akong saktan nang paulit-ulit, h-hindi ako magrereklamo. Please, I’m really sorry, Jaze.”

Jaze wiped her tears and stepped backwards. Natawa siya nang mapakla habang patuloy ang pagdaloy ng mga luha mula sa mga mata niya.

“I’ll take Zakarius with me, but remember this day, Angel. Hindi na tayo magkaibigan at hinding hindi na tayo magiging magkaibigan pa ulit.”

---

This is all my fault.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang araw na akong nakakulong dito sa bahay. Cassian, Chan, and Castor tried to reach me out but I don’t want to talk to anybody right now. I just want to be alone.

I looked at myself in the mirror, halata sa mukha ko na wala akong matinong tulog, hindi ako makakapagtrabaho sa lagay na ’to. I sighed and closed my eyes tightly. I don’t know what to do anymore. Sinubukan kong tawagan o i-text si Jaze, pero wala siyang sinasagot. She even blocked my number. Siguro ay hindi niya na talaga ako mapapatawad.

Natigilan ako nang muling tumunog ang phone ko. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako nang makita ang pangalan ni Cassian sa caller ID. I rolled my eyes and took my phone, sinagot ko na lang ang tawag niya.

“Hello,” I said in a weak voice. Pakiramdam ko paos na paos ang boses ko.

“Hoy, sesermunan na dapat kita… kaso bakit ganyan ang boses mo? May sakit ka ba?” tanong ni Cassian, bakas sa boses nito ang pag-aalala.

“I’m fine. I just need time for myself,” I murmured and looked at myself in the mirror again.

“Go, take your time. Missing in action din naman si direk, e. Hindi rin namin ma-contact. Nakakausap mo ba siya?” tanong niya.

I sighed and scratched my nape. I don’t want to talk about Zakarius, ni ayaw ko ngang marinig ang pangalan niya. Mali talaga na sinagot ko ang tawag ni Cassian.

“No, hindi ko siya nakakausap,” tipid na sabi ko at agad ng binaba ang tawag.

Nasaan naman kaya si Zak? Abala ba siya sa pagsuyo kay Jaze? Ipinaliwanag niya kaya ang lahat may Jaze? Sinabi niya ba na wala siyang nararamdaman para sa ’kin at si Jaze lang ang mahal niya?

Napailing na lang ako at pinilit na tumayo saka magtungo sa banyo upang maligo.

Maybe I need to face everything now. Magpapakapagod na lang ulit ako sa trabaho para kahit papa’no hindi ko maisip ang sakit, para kahit papa’no ma-distract ako sa mga tumatakbo sa isip ko.

Pagkatapos kong maligo, nagbihis na ako at nag-ayos. Lumabas na rin agad ako ng kuwarto at nagtungo sa kusina.

I was about to open the refrigerator when I heard the doorbell rang. My forehead creased in confusion. Who might that be? I’m not expecting any visitors right now.

Natigilan ako nang mukha ni Castor ang bumungad sa ’kin pagsilip ko sa peephole. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at pinagbuksan siya ng pinto. Nakalimutan kong may access nga pala siya sa gate ko.

“Hey, Angel!” he greeted and smiled at me. Napairap na lang ako at muling dumiretso sa loob.

Sumunod siya sa ’kin sa kusina. Inilapag niya ang dala niyang paper bag sa mesa saka lumapit sa ’kin. He held my arm and made me face him. He looked at my eyes intently and gently caressed my arm.

“Ano ba’ng problema?” he asked in a serious tone and sighed. I avoided his gaze and bit my lower lip.

Kahinaan ko ang ganyang tanong galing sa kanya. Pakiramdam ko kapag tinatanong niya ako niyan kusang tumutulo ang mga luha ko.

Napapitlag ako nang maramdaman kong marahan niyang hinaplos ang pisngi ko, doon ko lang napagtanto na lumuluha na pala ako.

“Sabi ko naman sa ’yo, e. You don’t have to bear it all alone, tell me if there’s something wrong. Ilang araw akong hindi mapakali dahil sa ’yo, nag-aalala ako na baka naiyak kang mag-isa rito,” he murmured and wiped my tears. Tumango na lang ako habang patuloy sa pag-agos ang mga luha ko.

Castor pulled me closer to him and hugged me. I hugged him back and buried my face on his chest. Kahit papa’no ay gumaan ang pakiramdam ko.

Hindi nagsalita si Castor, hinahaplos niya lang ang buhok ko habang hinahayaan akong umiyak sa dibdib niya. This is what I need, I need comfort… Castor is really my savior.

Nang kumalma na ako, nagtungo kami sa living room habang tahimik na nakaupo sa couch. Hindi nagsasalita si Castor at tila tina-tantsa kung okay na ako.

“Okay ka na ba?” Castor asked and gently caressed my cheek. I smiled at him and nodded.

“Thank you,” I murmured and avoided his gaze. I suddenly felt embarrassed, hindi ko nakontrol ang sarili ko na umiyak sa harapan niya.

Napangiti na lang si Castor saka inayos ang buhok ko. He pinched my nose and chuckled, I just smiled at him and punched his chest.

“Ang cute mo umiyak, kaya ka siguro best actress,” tila natatawang sabi niya. Tiningnan ko na lang siya nang masama.

“Baka sapakin kita riyan,” pananakot ko.

His eyebrow shot up, he pinched my chin gently and gave me a boastful smile.

“Pagkatapos kitang i-comfort, sasapakin mo ’ko? Hindi talaga bagay sa ’yo ang pangalan mo,” napapailing na sabi niya pa.

Napagdesisyunan kong h’wag na lang muna magpunta sa agency gaya ng sabi ni Castor. Nag-kwentuhan lang kami buong oras, kahit papa’no ay nawala sa isip ko ang problema ko.

Natigilan kaming pareho nang tumunog ang phone ko, agad kong sinagot ang tawag nang makita ko ang pangalan ni Cassian sa caller ID.

“Hello, Cassian?”

“Angel, alam kong may pino-problema ka ngayon… But you have to see what’s happening to your career right now, tingnan mo ang pinag-uusapan ng mga tao ngayon. Bukas magpunta ka rito sa agency at ipaliwanag sa akin ang nangyayari.”

Pagkasabi ni Cassian no’n ay agad din niyang tinapos ang tawag. My forehead furrowed in confusion, what the fuck is happening in my career? Ano ba ang pinagsasabi ng Cassian na ’yon?

Sinunod ko ang sinabi ni Cassian, tiningnan ko ang nangyayari sa social media ngayon. Lumapit naman si Castor sa akin upang makisilip.

I visited my twitter account first, my mouth agape when I saw the current trending tweet.

“What the fuck? Angel Mendoza, a boyfriend stealer?” Castor asked, he looks confused as me.

I inhaled deeply and continued scrolling. Gano’n na lang ang gulat ko nang makita na naka-post ang picture namin ni Zakarius. Nakahiga siya sa kama ko, ito ang gabi na nahuli kami ni Jaze… She took a picture of us and posted it on social media? Paano niya nagawa sa ’kin ’to? Hindi ko alam na aabot sa ganito ang galit niya sa ’kin.

Kahit nanginginig ang mga kamay ko sa kaba at halo-halong emosyon, pinilit ko pa ring basahin ang comments ng mga tao.

I knew it, halata namang malandi si Angel Mendoza.

What a disgrace, best actress of the year pa man din. Best friend pa talaga ang inagawan ng boyfriend. Hindi na nahiya, akala mo kung sinong maganda.

Nasa loob talaga ang kati niyang babaeng yan. Dapat hindi na mag-artista yan!

She’s obviously a bitch in all aspect. Kahit yung ugali basura din. Kunwari pang concern sa fans niya. Pweh!

Inakit niya talaga si Director Cavalcante para makuha ang lead role sa movie ni direk. Nakakahiya, siguro marami ng naakit na direktor ’yan.

I’m not her fan anymore. Castor doesn’t deserve a bitch like her.

Napatakip ako sa bibig ko kasabay ng pagkawala ng mga luha mula sa mga mata ko. My hands are literally shaking, nabitiwan ko ang cellphone ko at tuluyang napahagulgol ng iyak.

“Shh, come here.” Castor hugged me and let me cry on his chest again.

He stroked my hair gently and rubbed my back with much tenderness. He sighed and hugged me tighter. Napakapit ako nang mahigpit sa damit niya upang kumuha ng lakas do’n.

“Don’t mind them, they don’t know the real you, Angel… I won’t leave you,” he mumbled while still caressing my back. I cried harder, inilabas ko ang lahat ng emosyon sa dibdib ko na hindi ko na kayang pigilan.

I don’t know what to do anymore… Pati yata ang nag-iisang bagay na nagpapasaya sa ’kin ay mawawala na rin.

---

“You need to take a break, Angel,” Cassian said with finality. I bit my lower lip and sighed.

“Of course I need to,” I mumbled.

Actually, I don’t want to face him right now. Ayaw ko muna talagang lumabas dahil matindi ang galit sa akin ng mga tao. Pero kailangan kong harapin ’to, hindi puwedeng palagi akong magtago.

“We will release a statement about this. We will talk to your friend, Jazelyn Hernaez, about this issue. For now, cancelled muna ang movie mo. Wala pa kaming nakukuhang statement galing kay direk, dapat pag-usapan niyo iyan dahil kayong dalawa ang nasa issue ngayon. For now, take a rest, Angel. Ayaw kong nakikita na nagkakaganyan ka, ayaw ko rin na sinasabihan ka ng masasakit na salita ng mga tao, nasasaktan din ako hindi dahil sa artista ka rito sa agency… Alam mo ’yan diba? Hindi lang basta artista na nagpapasok ng pera dito sa agency ang turing ko sa ’yo,” Cassian said with concern in his voice. He held my shoulder and gently tapped it. I just gave him a weak smile and nodded.

“Sir Cassian, mababalik pa ba natin sa dati ang tingin ng mga tao kay Angel? Ayaw ko sa ibang artista, gusto ko kay Angel lang magtrabaho,” naluluhang sabi ni Chan.

Kanina pa siya nakahawak sa kamay ko habang naiyak. Kanina ko pa siya pinapatigil na umiyak pero hindi niya raw mapigilan ang sarili niya.

Pakiramdam ko may kung anong humaplos sa puso ko. Palagi ko siyang tinatarayan at inuutus-utusan, pero ito siya, naiyak dahil ayaw niyang magtrabaho sa iba kundi sa ’kin lang.

“Damn, Chan… why are you so cute?”

Natigilan kaming pareho ni Chan at napatingin kay Cassian na biglang nagsalita. Nakaupo ito sa couch na nasa tapat namin habang titig na titig kay Chan. Cassian blinked and straightened his back, he cleared his throat and loosened his necktie.

“I-I mean, Chan… stop crying,” Cassian said and turned his gaze away from Chan.

Nagawa pa talaga niyang lumandi kay Chan sa harapan ko at sa sitwasyon namin ngayon?

I sighed and stood up, bahagyang ginulo ko ang buhok ni Chan saka ngumiti sa kanya.

“Stop crying, everything will be fine. By the way, I’ll go ahead, magpapahinga na lang ako sa bahay,” sabi ko na lang at sinuot ang shades ko.

“Ihahatid na kita,” sabi ni Chan at agad na tumayo.

“No need, I can manage,” I said and took my sling bag. I looked at Cassian, he’s seriously looking at me.

“Once you get home, don’t check your social media accounts, h’wag ka ring magbasa ng comments. Just take a rest and let me handle everything, okay?” Cassian asked. I just smiled and nodded at him.

Akala ko wala na akong kaibigan noong tapusin ni Jaze ang pagkakaibigan naming dalawa, pero mukhang hindi naman pala.

Napansin ko na iniiwasan ako ng mga empleyado sa agency habang naglalakad ako palabas ng building, hindi ko na lang sila pinansin at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

Natigilan ako sa bumungad sa ’kin paglabas ko ng building… ang daming tao, lahat sila ay nakatingin nang masama sa ’kin.

“Mang-aagaw! Malandi!”

“Desperada! Dapat hindi ka na mag-artista!”

“Angel Mendoza, a bitch boyfriend stealer!”

Natulos ako sa kinatatayuan ko habang binabato ako nang masasakit na salita ng mga tao. Agad na humarang ang mga guard nang magbato ng kung ano-ano ang mga tao.

I bit my lower lip as tears streamed down on my cheeks. My whole body is trembling with fear and pain, this whole thing is painful as hell. They used to cheer for me, and shout my name with adoration… but now they are cursing me, throwing things at me as if I’m the worst thing that happened to them.

I gasped in shock when someone threw a rock at me, tumama iyon sa noo ko. Hindi ako nakagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko, pinilit kong ihakbang ang mga paa ko palayo sa lugar na ’to pero parang may nakadagan na mabigat sa mga ’yon.

Where are you, Zak? Where is he when I need him the most?

Natigilan ako nang may humawak sa kamay ko at humila sa ’kin palayo sa lugar na ’yon. Nagpatianod na lang ako sa kanya at nakipagsiksikan sa mga guard at mga tao palayo sa lugar na ’yon na kanina ko pa gustong takasan.

Nakarating kami sa parking area. Binuksan niya ang van at ipinasok ako sa loob. Napatingin ako sa kanya, seryoso ang mukha niya pero kitang kita rin doon ang inis at galit.

“C-Castor.”

He took a deep breath and held my hand, he closed his eyes as if he’s calming himself. He opened his eyes and looked into my eyes with emotions I couldn’t discern.

He wiped my cheeks with his gentle hands. Kumuha siya ng panyo mula sa bulsa niya at inilapat iyon sa noo ko, napangiwi na lang ako nang makaramdam nang kaunting sakit.

“Dumudugo,” he murmured while gently wiping my forehead.

I bit my lower lip and turned my gaze away from him. I was taken aback when he held my chin and made me face him. He looked at me intensely and caressed my arm.

“Gusto mo bang lumayo? Let’s escape this hell together. Kahit saan mo gusto, dadalhin kita… kahit gaano pa kalayo, sasamahan kita. Lahat gagawin ko para maging okay ka, handa ’kong iwan ang lahat para sa ’yo, Angel.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Siguro nga kailangan kong lumayo. Everything is suffocating me, I want to breathe, I want to be alone, and I want to escape from all of the pain. I think I deserve to take a rest too, because I can’t take all of this anymore.

“Where do you want to go?”

Napalingon ako kay Castor na abala sa pagmamaneho. We didn’t bring anything with us, except his car, our phone, and our wallet. Bukod do’n, sarili na lang namin ang bitbit namin. Siguro ay naging padalos-dalos kami, pero ayaw ko ng magtagal pa sa lugar na pinanggalingan namin… Gusto ko sa lugar na tahimik, sa lugar na walang nakakakilala sa ’min.

“Anywhere, Castor. Basta tahimik, kaunti lang ang tao, at walang makakakilala sa ’kin,” bulong ko saka muling tumingin sa bintana.

“Okay, you’re the boss, vixen,” he murmured and continued driving.

Hindi ko alam kung saan niya ako dadalhin, pero sasama na lang ako sa kanya kahit saan basta malayo sa lahat, basta makahinga ako nang ayos, basta matahimik ulit ang isip ko sa lahat.

I froze when Castor held my hand and gently squeezed it. I looked at him, he remained looking at the road while driving. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at hinayaan siya na hawakan ang kamay ko.

Nanatili akong tahimik sa biyahe. Ilang oras din ang tinagal no’n, hindi ko alam kung ilang beses akong nakatulog sa biyahe, patuloy ang pag-andar ng oras, pero hindi nagrereklamo si Castor, alam kong napapagod na siya at inaantok dahil ilang oras na siyang nagmamaneho.

“Nagugutom ka ba?” tanong ni Castor saka sumulyap sa ’kin.

“Wala akong gana,” sagot ko na lang saka tipid na ngumiti sa kanya.

“Okay, don’t hesitate to tell me if you’re hungry,” he murmured.

Hindi na lang ako nagsalita at ipinikit ang mga mata ko. Kakagising ko lang pero gusto ko na namang matulog, ganito talaga siguro kapag mentally drained. Pakiramdam ko pagod na pagod ako kahit wala naman akong ginagawa.

I lost track of time, I don’t know where the hell are we, I trust Castor… I know he won’t take me to some creepy place or what.

“Angel, wake up.”

I slowly opened my eyes, guwapong mukha ni Castor ang bumungad sa ’kin. Kinusot ko ang mga mata ko at nag-unat ng katawan. Castor stroked my hair with his gentle fingers and wiped my cheeks. My eyes widened when I realized what he just wiped. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands.

“M-may panis na laway ba ako?” nauutal na tanong ko. Castor chuckled, he didn’t answer my question and unbuckled my seatbelt.

Agad siyang lumabas ng kotse at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto. Inalalayan niya ako palabas at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Napatingin ako sa paligid, feeling ko nasa maliit na village kami.

“Where are we?” I asked while roaming my eyes around.

Walang masyadong tao, ang tahimik ng lugar at may dagat pa mula sa di kalayuan. Ang lamig ng simoy ng hangin at talagang nakaka-relax, magandang place ’to, magaling pumili si Castor.

“Diba mas maganda kung hindi mo na lang alam? I mean, para kung sakaling tanungin ka nina Cassian, wala kang mai-sagot. You’re here to relax and to have peace of mind. Lumayo ka muna sa mga magpapasakit sa ulo mo,” seryosong sabi ni Castor habang matiim na nakatingin sa ’kin.

I crossed my arms, raised my brow, and looked suspiciously at him.

“I think this is low-key kidnapping, Castor Raven.”

Natawa na lang siya at bahagyang ginulo ang buhok ko. Inakbayan niya rin ako, nagpatianod na lang ako nang magsimula siyang maglakad.

“Well, maybe this is low-key kidnapping, pero malaya ka sa lahat. Ikaw ang masusunod kung kailan tayo babalik sa siyudad. Just like what I said earlier, you’re the boss,” he said and chuckled. I just rolled my eyes and nodded.

Naglakad na kami, simple lang ang mga bahay rito, kaunti lang din. May mga ilan kaming nakakasalubong, ngunit hindi naman kami pinapansin ng mga ’yon. Napangiti na lang ako, ayos ’tong lugar na ’to. Everyone is ignoring us as if they don’t know us. That gives comfort to my heart, at last… a peaceful place.

“Castor! Hijo!”

Natigilan ako nang may lumapit sa aming matandang babae. Napangiti naman si Castor at sinalubong siya ng yakap.

“Lola! Ang tanda mo na po talaga!” natatawang sabi ni Castor habang hinihimas-himas ang likod ng matandang babae.

“Walang hiya ka pa rin talagang bata ka! Aba, sino ba iyang magandang dalaga na kasama mo?” tanong nito nang mapatingin sa ’kin, alanganing ngumiti na lang ako sa kanya.

“Lola, siya po si Angel, kaibigan ko. Angel, si Lola Gladys nga pala,” nakangiting sabi ni Castor saka inakbayan si Lola Gladys.

“M-magandang hapon po,” I greeted. I bit my lower lip because I stuttered.

“Magandang hapon din sa ’yo, hija. Dati akong katulong ng pamilya ni Castor. Para ko ng apo itong si Castor dahil ako ang nagpalaki sa Papa niya pati na rin sa kanya. Nako, masaya ako na malaman na may girlpren na itong apo ko,” tuwang tuwa na sabi ni Lola Gladys at hinawakan pa ang kamay ko.

Castor scratched his nape and apologetically smiled at me. I just gave Lola Gladys a sweet smile and held her hands too.

“Hindi po ako girlfriend ni Castor, we’re just friends lang po… good friends.”

Hindi naman ito ang unang beses na napagkamalan kaming magkasintahan ni Castor. Medyo sanay na ako sa ganito.

“Ay sus, doon na rin patungo iyon. Oh siya nga pala, ito ang susi sa rest house mo, Castor. Dadalhan ko na lang kayo ng pagkain doon palagi, magpahinga na lang kayo at alam kong mahirap ang buhay-artista.” Inabot ni Lola Gladys ang susi kay Castor. Gulat na napatingin ako sa kanya.

Alam niyang artista kami?

“Sige po, salamat. Una na po kami,” paalam ni Castor saka muling lumapit sa ’kin at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

Naglakad na kami palayo kay Lola Gladys. Hindi ko alam kung saan kami pupunta, masyado akong nadi-distract sa ganda ng dagat. May ilang mga bata na naglalaro do’n.

Nakarating kami sa isang rest house, malaki ang rest house na ’to at malayo sa mga bahay, tahimik ito at mukhang kahit papa’no ay matatahimik ako, kahit ilang araw lang… gusto ko munang ipahinga ang isip ko.

Simple lang ang disenyo ng rest house ni Castor. Modern-type rest house ito pero hindi naman sobrang intricate ng design, mararamdaman mo pa rin na nasa bahay ka.

Nagtungo kami sa isang silid. Castor opened the door and guided me inside. Simpleng silid lang iyon na may single bed at TV.

“This will be your room, Angel. Magpahinga ka muna riyan, bibili lang ako ng ilang damit at gamit,” sabi ni Castor saka ngumiti sa ’kin at lumabas ng silid.

I sighed and sat on the bed, kahit papa’no ay comfortable naman. Humiga ako at tumitig sa kisame. Maybe this is really what I need, I need to stay away from everything. I need to build my strength and courage again. Pakiramdam ko kasi naging mahina ako, siguro nga ay kailangan ko munang mag-ipon ng lakas.

HINDI KO na namalayan na naka-idlip pala ako. Bumangon ako at tumingin sa paligid. Hindi pa ba nadating si Castor?

Lumabas ako ng kuwarto at nagtungo sa living room. Malapit ng dumilim, nasaan na kaya si Castor?

Umupo ako sa couch at niyakap ang mga tuhod ko. Napatingin ako sa cellphone na hawak ko. My hands are shaking, nangangati ako na i-open ang phone ko at tingnan ang comments ng mga tao. Pero gaya nga ng sabi ni Cassian, walang magandang idudulot sa ’kin kung gagawin ko ’yon.

I took a deep breath and calm myself. Saglit ko lang naman titingnan, saglit lang talaga. After that, papatayin ko na ulit ang phone ko.

Binuksan ko ang phone ko, agad kong nag-open ng social media. Nanginig ang buong katawan ko nang makitang trending pa rin ang issue namin ni Zak. In-open ko ang messages at mas lalo akong nanghina sa mga pinapadala nilang message sa akin, pati na rin sa mga comments.

Magtago ka na lang sa lungga mo, filthy wh*re!

Sa ginagawa niyong yan baka ma-depress yan, kaya galingan niyo pa hahahaha.

Angel Mendoza lang desperada at boyfriend stealer. Yuck!

Hindi ko papanoorin ang ire-release niyang movies kahit pa nandoon si Castor. Nakakaawa talaga si Castor, sa malandi pa siya nai-partner.

I bit my lower lip and bursted into tears. I don’t know why I’m still scrolling and reading their comments kahit pa tinatapakan na ng mga tao ang pagkatao ko sa comments.

“No phone!”

Natigilan ako nang may humablot ng phone ko. Napatingin ako kay Castor na seryosong nakatingin sa ’kin. He sat beside me and wiped my tears, napabuntong hininga na lang siya habang nakatingin sa ’kin.

“Please, stop looking at your phone, Angel. Sinasaktan mo lang ang sarili mo. Nandito ka para kalimutan ang lahat kahit saglit lang. Please, Angel. Help yourself, I can’t bear to see you like this,” he murmured and pulled me closer to him and hugged me. Gumanti ako ng yakap sa kanya habang umiiyak sa dibdib niya.

Sana lumipas na ’to, sana matapos na ang lahat ng ’to.

---

“Buong araw kang tulog, baka naman manaba ka niyan,” natatawang sabi ni Castor habang sinusuklayan ang buhok ko. Inismiran ko na lang siya saka tiningnan nang masama sa salamin.

I’m just wearing a simple floral beach dress, puro ganitong damit ang binili ni Castor. Maganda rin naman, it feels comfortable kahit simple lang.

“Ako na ang magco-comb ng buhok ko, Castor. Para kang parlorista,” sabi ko na lang at inagaw sa kanya ang suklay. Natawa na lang siya at hinayaan ako.

“Angel, gusto mo bang maglakad-lakad tayo sa dalampasigan? Or gusto mo bang maligo sa dagat, malinis ang dagat dito,” sabi niya habang nakatitig sa ’kin sa salamin.

“Bukas na lang ako maliligo sa dagat, gusto kong magpa-tan, wala ng sun ngayon, e. Maglakad-lakad na lang tayo,” sabi ko na lang saka tumayo matapos magsuklay.

Hindi na ako nag-apply ng make up. It seems like Castor is not bothered with my bare face. Wala naman siyang sinasabi, hahayaan ko na lang. Wala na rin akong gana mag-make up, para saan pa?

“Let’s go?” Castor asked and smiled at me. He held my hand and intertwined our fingers. Kahapon pa, simula nang dumating kami rito, napansin ko na nagiging touchy si Castor… pero hinahayaan ko na lang, we even kissed several times before. Hindi na siguro dapat big deal ang paghawak niya sa kamay ko.

Tahimik kaming naglakad sa dalampasigan, ang lamig ng simoy ng hangin. It feels relaxing, pinapagaan nito ang loob ko at tila ba pinapa-kalma ang sistema ko.

“Bakit parang hindi tayo kilala ng mga tao rito?” tanong ko kay Castor habang tumitingin sa mga tao mula sa di kalayuan, may mga nagtitinda ng isda at kung ano-ano, may mga bata ring naglalaro.

“Walang TV ang mga tao rito, Angel. Kung meron man, palaging malabo. Saka mas gusto ng mga tao rito ang nakikipag-kwentuhan at nakikipaglaro kaysa sa gadgets or manood ng TV. This is a good place to escape the showbiz world, right?” Castor asked and smiled at me. I just nodded and gave him a small smile. He’s right, this place is wonderful and so peaceful.

“Kuya Castor! Kuya Castor!”

Napatingin ako sa grupo ng mga bata na natakbo papalapit sa ’min, yung iba sa kanila ay nakaapak pa at mukhang naligo sa dagat. Napabitiw si Castor sa kamay ko nang pagkaguluhan siya ng mga bata.

“Kuya Castor, galit po ako sa ’yo kasi crush ka ni Deng Deng. Ako ang crush niya noon pero dumating ka, hindi na niya ’ko crush,” nakangusong sabi ng batang lalaki sa unahan. Natawa na lang ako sa sinabi niya.

“Talaga? May crush sa ’kin si Deng Deng? Aba, kawawa ka naman pala. Sa akin nagkaka-crush ang mga crush niyo,” mayabang na sabi ni Castor at ngumisi pa sa mga batang lalaki. Naghiyawan naman ang mga bata at muling sinugod si Castor. Natatawang napaupo na lang si Castor sa buhanginan at hinayaan ang mga bata.

“Ate ganda! Ako na lang po ang crush mo, para hindi na po kami yabangan ni Kuya Castor. H’wag niyo na lang po siya maging crush,” nakasimangot na sabi ng isang bata at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

I chuckled, I squatted my body to meet the boy’s gaze. I smiled at him and pinched his soft cheeks gently. I may be a bitch, but I really like kids, kahit marungis pa sila. I’m soft when it comes to kids and elderlies. Hindi naman ako mabait pero hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses akong nag-donate sa charities para sa mga bata at matatanda.

“Hindi ko siya crush, ikaw ang crush ko,” nakangiting sabi ko sa kanya.

The little boy giggled and his face reddened. I smiled unknowingly because of his cuteness, he’s so innocent and cute.

“Ouch, grabe ka, Angel,” pabirong sabi ni Castor at napasapo pa sa dibdib niya. Inirapan ko na lang siya. Lumapit ako sa kanya at tinulungan siyang tumayo.

“Narinig mo ’yon, Kuya Castor? Ako na ang crush ni Ate ganda!” natatawang sabi ng bata, natawa na lang din ako.

“Yabang mo naman, oh siya, sige na, maglaro na ulit kayo. H’wag matigas ang ulo sa mga magulang niyo ha, magpakabait,” panenermon ni Castor saka kinurot ang ilong ng bata sa unahan. Napangiti na lang ako.

Tumakbo na ang mga bata palayo at bumalik na sa paglalaro. Castor held my hand again and we continued walking on the seashore. I just closed my eyes and feel the cold air embracing my body. Castor really brought me to a simple but wonderful place.

I opened my eyes and looked at Castor, natigilan ako nang mapansing nakatitig pala siya sa ’kin. I gave him my pure and real smile, sobra ko talagang na-appreciate ang ginawa niyang ’to. I’m so lucky to have a friend like him.

“Thank you so much, Castor. Palagi kang to the rescue sa akin kahit madalas kitang tinatarayan,” natatawang sabi ko saka tumigil sa paglalakad at tumingin sa kanya. Castor smiled at me and gently pinched my chin.

“Hindi ka si Angel kung hindi ka mataray, I’m used to it.”

“Well, on point,” I said and chuckled.

Natahimik kaming pareho, natigilan ako nang mapansing nakatitig pa rin siya sa ’kin. He gently caressed my cheek while looking intently into my eyes. He sighed, licked his lower lip, and then he smiled at me again.

“I know you still love him, Angel. Alam ko na hindi basta mawawala ang nararamdaman mo sa kanya, but I want you to stop loving him. Please stop loving him, Angel.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Lumapit pa siya sa ’kin at matiim na tumitig sa mga mata ko. Napapitlag ako nang maramdaman ko ang marahang paghaplos niya sa ibabang labi ko.

“C-Castor.”

“Walang kaso sa ’kin ang maging rebound, Angel. I don’t mind.” He sighed and looked at me with gentle eyes. Inilapit niya ang mukha sa ’kin at dinampian nang magaan na halik ang pisngi ko. Nagtayuan ang mga balahibo ko sa ginawa niya kasabay ng panghihina ng mga tuhod ko.

He looked into my eyes after that soft kiss. He smiled at me and caressed my arm.

“You seem to have no idea, so I’ll tell you now…” He put his hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes. He let out a sigh and smiled.

“…I love you, Angel.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Castor didn’t mention that ‘I love you’ thingy again, which is good, I honestly don’t know what to say and what to react. All this time I thought he just see me as a friend, kung alam ko lang sana hindi na ako sumama sa kanya… Ayokong masaktan lang siya dahil alam kong hindi ko masusuklian ang nararamdaman niya.

Natigilan ako sa pagsusuklay ng buhok ko nang makarinig ako ng katok. Tumayo ako at agad na binuksan ang pinto sa kuwarto ko. Bumungad sa akin ang guwapong mukha ni Castor, ngumiti siya sa ’kin.

“Hey, let’s eat,” he casually said and scratched his nape. I just gave him a small smile and nodded.

I tried to forget his confession two days ago because he didn’t mention it again. Umaakto siya ngayon na para bang hindi siya umamin sa ’kin, pero mas maganda na rin ’to. I don’t want to give him false hope, ayaw ko siyang paasahin sa bagay hindi ko maibibigay sa kanya.

“Angel, hija, halika rito. Nagluto ako ng almusal,” nakangiting bati ni Lola Gladys habang naghahain ng pagkain sa mesa.

Hindi ako nakain nang marami tuwing breakfast, pero sa loob ng three days na nandito ako, palagi na ’kong nakain ng marami. Palagi kasing nagluluto si Lola Gladys for us, nakakahiya naman kumain nang kaunti, sayang ang effort niya and isa pa, napansin ko rin sa sarili ko na ang lakas ko na kumain. Stress eating siguro ang ginagawa ko.

“Lola Gladys, this is so masarap. Ano po ang tawag dito?” tanong ko at inangat ang fish na sinasawsaw sa suka na may bawang.

“Tinapa ’yan, hija, masaya ako at nagustuhan mo. Akala ko hindi ka nakain ng mga ganitong pagkain,” nakangiting sabi ni Lola Gladys. Kasabay namin nga ngayon kumain. Madalas talaga ay sumasabay siya sa ’min.

“Kahit sardinas kinakain ni Angel, Lola. Mukha lang po siyang maarte,” natatawang sabi ni Castor at kinurot ang pisngi ko. Siniko ko ang tagiliran niya.

“Maarte naman talaga ako,” nakaismid na sabi ko at inirapan siya.

“Wow, proud maarte.” Tinawanan pa ako ni Castor.

Natawa na lang si Lola Gladys sa amin. Sigurado na aasarin na naman kami ni Lola.

“Hay nako, bagay na bagay talaga kayong dalawa. Aba, Angel, sagutin mo na itong apo ko. Wala ka ng hahanapin pa kay Castor. Ikaw naman, Castor, napakahina mo naman, galingan mo naman, mauunahan ka ng iba kay Angel,” napapailing na sabi ni Lola Gladys.

“Lola naman, friends lang po kami ni Castor,” sabi ko na lang saka muling sumubo ng kanin. Mapapadami na naman ang kain ko nito.

“Ouch,” Castor exclaimed and clutched his chest.

“Ang arte ha,” pang-aasar ko pa sa kanya.

“Natinik lang kasi, assuming ka masyado,” natatawang sabi ni Castor saka uminom ng tubig. Tiningnan ko na lang siya nang masama.

“But you said you love me,” I said and raised my eyebrow. Castor faced me and looked into my eyes. He smirked at me and pinched my chin.

“Aw, gusto rin,” nakangising sabi niya.

I blinked when I realized what I just said. I avoided his gaze and focused on my food. I can feel my cheeks heating up, I suddenly felt embarrassed, baka isipin niya na nag-a-assume ako masyado.

“Hindi ka nakakatuwa,” I muttered

Bakit naman kasi umamin pa siya?

Natigilan ako nang maramdaman kong hinawakan ni Castor ang kamay ko sa ilalim ng table. Napatingin akong muli sa kanya, he smiled at me.

“Is it okay if I express my feelings? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me, kaya hindi ko na binabanggit ulit,” Castor muttered while staring at me. I just gave him an awkward smile and avoided his gaze.

“I-I don’t know, I don’t want to give you false hope, Castor. You know I can’t love you back.” Napatingin ako sa plato ko na halos wala ng laman.

“Mukhang kailangan ko ng umalis para mas makapag-usap kayo nang ayos.”

Natigilan kaming pareho ni Castor at napatingin kay Lola Gladys, doon lang namin na-realize na nandito pa pala si Lola. Lola Gladys just nodded and smiled, as if she’s saying that it’s alright. Nilagay niya ang plato niya sa sink at hinugasan saka agad na lumabas ng rest house.

Muli akong napatingin kay Castor, nakatingin pa rin pala siya sa ’kin.

“Nag-aalala ka ba na baka masaktan ako?” tanong niya habang matiim na nakatingin sa ’kin.

I sighed and bit my lower lip. I nodded and turned my gaze away from him.

Natigilan ako nang hawakan niya ang baba ko at marahan akong pinaharap sa kanya. Napatingin na lang ako sa mga mata niya, seryoso ang mga ’yon habang titig na titig sa ’kin.

“Pursuing you is my choice, Angel. Kung masasaktan man ako, wala kang kasalanan do’n.”

Kahit na, kung hindi ko siya pipigilan sa nararamdaman niya… masasaktan siya ng dahil sa ’kin, makakasakit ako ng kaibigan na palaging nasa tabi ko sa tuwing kailangan ko siya.

---

“Castor, alam mo ba kung saan ako makakabili ng lobster?”

Natigilan si Castor sa paghuhugas ng mga plato at napalingon sa akin. I just bit my lower lip and sighed. I really want lobster right now, I will pair it with banana.

“Lobster? Kailan ka pa nahilig sa lobster?” Castor asked, confusion is evident in his eyes. I just shrugged and tapped my fingers on the table.

“I don’t know, I suddenly want a lobster, a really big lobster… I want to pair it with banana. I’m  already salivating just by thinking about it, damn,” I murmured and touched my bottom lip, imagining a big lobster, and banana.

Hindi ko rin talaga alam kung bakig nagc-crave ako sa lobster ngayong umaga. Fruits lang naman ang gusto kong almusal palagi. But right now, I really want to eat lobster.

“Just wait here, I’ll buy lobster and banana for you.” Castor wiped his wet hands and removed his apron.

Napangiti na lang ako nang lumabas siya ng rest house. Sana makabili siya kaagad ng lobster, at sana meron siyang mabilhan.

Nagtungo na lang ako sa living room para manood ng TV. Sinabihan ako ni Castor na mas maganda kung hindi ako manonood ng TV dahil baka lalo lang akong ma-down, but okay lang naman. I’ll just watch animal channel, or even cartoons.

Nilipat ko na lang sa animal channel. I was fascinated, turtles ang fini-feature nila ngayon. Turtles are amusing. Ipinapakita ngayon kung paano nagle-lay ng eggs ang turtles.

Natigilan ako nang ipakita sa TV ang baby turtles na pinipilit umalis ng buhanginan, their Mom buried them after laying them nung eggs pa sila. I bit my lower lip when tears dwelled in my eyes. Napahikbi ako at napatakip sa bibig ko. Paano na ang baby turtles? Nasaan ang Mommy nila? Baka naman nahuli ng mga fisherman ang Mommy turtle nila o baka naman na-stuck sa polluted na dagat?

Tuluyan ng kumawala ang mga luha ko habang pinapanood ang baby turtles na pilit na gumagapang papuntang dagat. How will they survive on their own without their mother? Makikita ba nila ang Mommy turtle nila?

“Hey, Angel, are you crying?”

Napatingin ako kay Castor na kakarating lang. May dala siyang container na may buhay na lobster sa loob, nagalaw-galaw pa ang lobster.

Agad niyang inilagay ang container sa table at lumapit sa ’kin.

“Sabi ko naman sa ’yo na h’wag ka munang manood ng TV at baka makasakit lang–”

Natigilan siya nang mapatingin sa TV. He looked at me again with confusion in his eyes. Muli siyang tumingin sa TV, saka muling tumingin sa ’kin.

“You’re crying because of turtles? Really?” tila hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya.

I sobbed and covered my face with my hands. I cried harder and turned my gaze away from the TV, I can’t bear to watch it anymore. It’s so heartbreaking.

“O-okay, papatayin ko na lang ang TV,” sabi ni Castor at pinatay ang TV.

Inalis niya ang kamay ko na nakatakip sa mukha ko, pinunasan niya ang luha ko gamit ang panyo niya. He chuckled while wiping ng tears, I glared at him and gently punched his chest.

“My goodness, turtles made you cry like this,” natatawang sabi niya pa.

“Dapat pinanood mo rin, kawawa yung baby turtles. M-maiiyak ka rin sigurado. Is there a charity for turtles? Magdo-donate talaga ako,” bulong ko.

Tinawanan lang ako ni Castor habang napapailing. Bahagya niyang ginulo ang buhok ko saka agad na tumayo at nagtungo sa kusina. Sumunod na lang ako sa kanya. Umupo ako sa upuan at napatitig sa lobster na nasa table.

“Paano ang naiwan na babies ng lobster na ’to?” I asked and pointed the lobster. Castor just chuckled and took the container.

“So you don’t want lobster anymore?” he asked. I bit my lower lip and sighed.

“I want lobster,” murmured. Muling natawa si Castor at nagtungo na sa sink para trabahuhin ang lobster.

Pinanood ko na lang siya habang pinapatay niya ang lobster, napapangiwi na lang ako dahil naaawa ako, but I really want to eat lobster right now.

Tahimik na lang ako habang pinapanood si Castor na magluto. Alam ko na noon pa na marunong talaga siyang magluto… Parehas sila ni Zak, Zak is a good cook, and he likes meats so much.

Natigilan ako nang bigla siyang pumasok sa isip ko, napailing na lang ako. Hindi ko na dapat iniisip pa ang lalaking ’yon, malamang si Jaze ang kasama niya ngayon, malamang nagpapakasaya silang dalawa ngayon.

“Here’s your lobster, and a banana.” Castor put the plate in front of me. Kumuha siya ng saging at binalatan ’yon saka nilagay sa plato ko. Napangiti na lang ako nang makitang umuusok pa ang lobster.

Kinuha muli ni Castor ang plato, sinimulan na niyang balatan ang lobster. Pinanood ko na lang siya, maglalaway na yata ang bagang ko, kanina pa ako natatakam sa lobster.

Matapos balatan, inilapit na ni Castor sa akin ang plato. Agad na akong kumain, si Castor naman ay nanonood lang sa ’kin. Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin, busy ako sa lobster ko.

Ngayon lang yata ako na-satisfy nang ganito sa pagkain. Feeling ko napagbigyan akong kainin ang gusto ko after ten years, gano’n yung feeling.

“Dahan-dahan, himdi naman kita hihingian, e,” natatawang sabi ni Castor habang pinapanood ako. Inabutan niya ako ng tubig at inilapit ’yon sa ’kin.

Kinagatan ko rin ang saging, hindi ko na lang pinansin si Castor at tumuloy sa pagkain. I don’t want anyone to bother me right now, gusto ko lang kumain nang kumain.

Napahawak na lang ako sa tiyan ko nang matapos akong kumain, ngayon lang yata ako nabusog nang ganito sa buong buhay ko.

Natigilan ako nang maramdaman kong tila bumabaligtad ang sikmura ko. I grimaced and caressed my stomach, nasobrahan yata ako sa kain.

Napatakip ako sa bibig ko nang maramdaman kong maduduwal ako. Agad akong tumayo at nagtungo sa sink at agad na naduwal. Agad na lumapit sa ’kin si Castor at hinaplos ang likod ko.

“Hey, are you alright?” nag-aalalang tanong niya habang hinihimas ang likod ko.

“I’m fine, nasobrahan lang yata ako sa kain,” sabi ko na lang at agad na nagmumog.

Napangiwi ako nang sumakit na naman ang sikmura ko. Muli akong naduwal, hinimas naman agad ni Castor ang likod ko. Bahagya pang nanginginig ang kamay niya at halatang kinakabahan siya para sa ’kin.

“Ano ba’ng nangyayari sa ’yo? I’m worried, dadalhin na kita sa ospital.”

CASTOR TOOK me to the hospital after that… but the doctor’s findings shocked me… I honestly don’t know what to feel.

“Congratulations, you’re six weeks pregnant.”

Natigilan ako sinabi ng doktor, maski si Castor ay halatang natigilan din. Nanlamig ang mga kamay ko, pati buong katawan ko ay nanghina. Marahang hinawakan ni Castor ang kamay ko na tila pinapakalma ako.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal natahimik ni Castor sa loob ng opisina ng doktor. Hindi ko alam ang dapat kong maramdaman, halo halo ang pakiramdam… pero mas nangunguna sa akin ang kaba. Buntis ako… magkaka-anak kami ni Zakarius.

“I trust you, doc, I paid you for this. Kapag lumabas sa media ang tungkol dito, kakasuhan kita,” seryosong sabi ni Castor sa doktor.

Tahimik pa rin ako hanggang sa biyahe namin pabalik sa rest house. Nakatingin lang ako sa bintana ng kotse at nakatulala. Mukhang nahalata ni Castor na ayaw kong makipag-usap kaya hindi na lang siya nagsalita.

Agad akong nagtungo sa living room at tulala pa rin nang umupo sa couch. Naramdaman kong umupo si Castor sa tabi ko. He held my hand amd my shoulder, he made me face him and looked at me intensely. He sighed and slightly pinched my chin.

“He’s the father, right?” he asked. I just bit my lower lip and avoided his gaze.

“N-natatakot ako, Castor,” mahinang usal ko.

Castor gently squeezed my hand, tila ba pinapakalma ako.

“Wala kang dapat ikatakot, I’m here. Tutulungan kitang palakihin ang bata, I can be his father. H’wag kang matakot, I’m always here for you,” Castor murmured and caressed my cheek.

Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko kasabay ng panlalabo ng paningin ko dahil sa nagbabadyang luha. Napahawak ako sa tiyan ko. Natatakot ako, sobra akong natatakot sa mga susunod na mangyayari sa buhay ko pero kailangan kong maging matapang dahil may isa ng buhay na nakasalalay sa ’kin ngayon.

“I can do this alone, Castor. I really appreciate your effort, but I want to be strong and independent for my child, and besides, ayaw kong maging unfair sa ’yo. You have a great life ahead of you, Castor. I don’t want to put you into my mess.”

Castor sighed and shook his head. Matiim na tumitig siya sa mga mata ko na tila ba sinasabi niyang wala siyang pakialam sa lahat… pero ayaw kong idamay siya, ayaw kong maging unfair sa kanya.

“I will help you, Angel, whether you like it or not.”

---

“Baby, gusto mong kantahan kita?”

Hinahaplos ko ang tiyan ko na maliit pa rin hanggang ngayon habang nakaupo sa beach chair. Gabi na ngayon at nakatitig ako sa dagat, kailangan ko munang pakalmahin ang isip ko. The moon’s reflection on the sea looks magnificent, it’s relaxing, kahit papa’no ay nawala ang mga bumabagabag sa isip ko.

To be honest, I’m still scared. Magulong mundo ang ginagalawan ko lalo pa ngayon na may issue ako. Ayaw kong mabuhay ang anak ko sa magulong mundo ng katulad ng sa ’kin. I want the best for my child, I don’t want him or her to suffer just like me. I want to give my child a peaceful life. I’m willing to leave everything for my child, even the showbiz world.

Hindi ko pa naipapanganak ang bata sa tiyan ko, ni hindi pa nga siya buo… pero mahal ko na kaagad siya.

“Angel.”

Napalingon ako kay Castor. Ngumiti siya sa ’kin saka pumwesto sa tabi ko. He squatted to meet my gaze, he held my hand and intertwined our fingers.

“Gabi na, mahahamugan ka rito, baka makasama pa sa baby,” tila nag-aalalang sabi niya saka bumaba ang tingin niya sa tiyan ko.

“Balot na balot naman ako, I’m fine, gusto ko lang mag-relax dito,” I said and smiled at him.

Nakasuot ako ng makapal na jacket at jogging pants, sinuotan naman ako ng cap ni Castor saka inayos ang buhok ko.

“Ano’ng plano mo, Angel?” tanong ni Castor saka umupo sa buhanginan, sa may tabi ko.

“Ano pa ba? I’ll be quitting showbiz, that won’t be easy, siguradong marami akong kailangang bayaran. Pero ayaw ko na mabuhay ang anak ko sa magulong mundo ko. Gusto ko nang tahimik na buhay kasama ang anak ko, siguro next week pupunta na ako ng New Zealand. Doon ko na palalakihin ang anak ko kasama ang parents ko, marami-rami na rin naman akong naipon, e,” paliwanag ko. Napatango na lang si Castor.

“How about Director Cavalcante? Will you tell him about it?” he asked while staring at me. I just smiled bitterly at him.

“I won’t tell him about it, Castor. I will never tell him about my child. Wala siyang karapatang malaman, saka ayaw kong magulo pa sila ni Jaze. Ayaw ko na rin ng magpapasakit sa ulo ko,” bulong ko saka muling tumingin sa dagat.

“Can I follow you, Angel? Puwede ba kitang samahan? I mean, I want to be with you and help you, as well as your child. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na mahalin mo ’ko pabalik, gusto lang kitang suportahan. I know you’re strong and independent, but I want to be with you.”

Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin, ayaw ko siyang paasahin. Hindi ko mabilang kung ilang beses ko ng sinabi sa kanya na hindi ko matutugunan ang nararamdaman niya, pero ayaw pa rin niyang sumuko. Nakokonsensya ako na inaaksaya niya ang oras at effort niya para sa akin.

“Angel, ayaw mo pa bang pumasok sa loob?” tanong ni Castor. I just gave him a small smile.

“Maya-maya papasok na ako, saglit lang ako rito, mauna ka na sa loob,” sabi ko na lang saka muling tumingin sa dagat.

“Okay, pumasok ka rin agad.” Tumayo na siya at pinagpag ang sweatpants niya saka umalis. Nilingon ko siya at hinabol ng tingin hanggang sa makarating na siya sa rest house.

Hinaplos ko ang tiyan ko saka muling tumingin sa dagat. Bukas ng umaga ay maglalakad-lakad ako rito sa dalampasigan dahil sa susunod na araw, ihahanda ko na ang sarili ko. I’ll talk to Cassian I’ll tell him that I will finally quit on showbiz.

I stood up and took a deep breath. I will be strong for my child, I will give and provide the best for him or her, I know I can do it on my own… I will do my best.

“Angel.”

Natigilan ako nang marinig ang pamilyar na boses na ’yon. My insides churned and the butterflies in my stomach instantly reacted as if they know who’s the owner of that voice. I inhaled deeply, trying to calm my system.

Lumingon ako sa pinanggalingan ng boses. My knees weakened when I saw him standing there, staring intently at me. My whole body shivered because the intensity of his blue eyes. I avoided his gaze and licked my lower lip.

No, don’t mind him. You don’t need him, Angel.

Niyakap ko na lang ang sarili ko at dire-diretsong naglakad patungong rest house. Akmang lalagpasan ko na siya nang agad niyang nahawakan ang braso ko.

“Let’s talk, Angel.”

Agad kong inalis ang pagkakahawak niya sa braso ko at itinulak siya palayo. Hindi na ako magiging mahina sa kanya ngayon dahil napatunayan na niya sa ’kin kung ano ang lugar ko sa puso niya.

He doesn’t give a fuck about me.

“Is there anything for us to talk about, Zakarius?! Kung nandito ka dahil sa issue nating dalawa, h’wag kang mag-alala dahil inaasikaso na ’yon ni Cassian ngayon! Now, let me go! I don’t want to see your face,” I said while gritting my teeth and turned my back on him again.

Muli niyang hinawakan ang braso ko. Marahan niya akong hinila at pinaharap sa kanya. He held my arms gently and looked into my eyes.

“Come with me, please. Let’s fix this, my angel.” Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko.

Muli ko siyang itinulak palayo.

“H’wag mo akong daanin sa ganyan, Zak! Puwede ba umalis ka na lang?! Baka malaman pa ’to ni Jaze, baka kung ano na naman ang isipin niya tungkol sa ’kin. S-sa girlfriend mo na lang ituon ang atensyon mo at hayaan mo na ’ko.” Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko nang mabasag ang boses ko.

Tears dwelled in my eyes. I turned my gaze away from him and let out a sob. Mas emosyonal ako ngayon dala ng pagbubuntis ko.

Zakarius held my cheek and made me face him. Napatingin ako sa asul niyang mga mata, marahan niyang hinaplos ang pisngi ko habang matiim na nakatitig sa mga mata ko.

“She’s not my girlfriend…”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa kanya at buong lakas na itinulak siya.

“Wala akong panahong makipaglokohan sa ’yo! Just fucking leave me alone!”

Muli ko siyang tinalikuran. Naglakad ako nang mabilis pabalik ng rest house pero agad akong niyakap ni Zak mula sa likuran. Natulos ako sa kinatatayuan ko, mas hinigpitan naman ni Zak ang pagyakap sa ’kin.

“I’m sorry, I just had to take care of something… I’m sorry for making you wait, my angel,” bulong niya saka marahang hinaplos ang braso ko.

“S-sino ang nagsabi sa ’yong hinintay kita?! Wala akong pakialam kahit habang buhay ka ng hindi magpakita! Bitiwan mo ’ko!”

Sinubukan kong kumawala sa pagkakayakap niya, pero hinila niya lang ako lalo papalapit sa kanya.

“Let me go, Zakarius. H’wag mo na ’kong pahirapan at paasahin sa mga ganyan mo. Balikan mo na lang si Jaze at iwanan mo na–”

Agad niyang pinutol ang sasabihin ko.

“I love you… I love you so much, Angel.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

I won’t believe it.

Kahit gaano ko pa siya kamahal, hindi ako maniniwala o bibigay. Baka nag-away lang sila ni Jaze at ako naman ang kailangan niya ngayon, baka naman wala na siyang mapaglaruan.

“Bitiwan mo ’ko!”

Kumawala ako sa pagkakayakap niya at humarap sa kanya saka tiningnan siya nang masama. He looked at me with unknown emotion in his eyes, he looks at me as if he’s longing or yearning for something.

“What do you take me for? Huh? I’m not stupid, Zak. Just leave me alone! Makita lang kita naiinis na ’ko!”

“Angel…” Akmang lalapit siya ngunit agad akong umatras.

Natigilan na lang ako nang maramdaman kong may humawak sa braso ko at hinila ako palayo kay Zak.

“Ano’ng ginagawa mo rito, direk?”

Ipinwesto ako ni Castor sa likuran niya at siya ang humarap kay Zakarius.

Nagtagisan silang dalawa ng tingin. Natahimik na lang ako at kumapit sa damit ni Castor. Ayaw ko siyang idamay sa problema namin ni Zak pero ayaw ko rin namang kausapin si Zakarius. Pakiramdam ko paiikutin niya lang ako dahil alam niyang mahina ako pagdating sa kanya.

“You have a girlfriend, right? What’s her name again? Hmm, Jaze?” Castor asked.

“I don’t have anything to explain to you… let her go,” Zakarius said and took a step closer to Castor. Hindi naman natinag si Castor at nakatitig pa rin kay Zak.

“Why the hell are you bothering her? Just let her be, ni hindi mo nga siya kayang panindigan, e. Tapos gusto mo siyang bawiin nang gano’n gano’n na lang? Gago ka talaga ’no?” maangas na sabi ni Castor saka tinulak ang dibdib ni Zak.

Umakyat ang kaba sa dibdib ko, baka magsuntukan pa ang dalawang ’to. Bakit ba kasi ayaw na lang umalis ni Zakarius? He can’t be serious about his confession, I’m certain that he’s just bored… Gusto niya lang akong paglaruan.

“Don’t mind him, Castor. Let’s just go inside, gusto ko ng matulog,” sabi ko na lang at tinalikuran sila saka agad na nagtungo sa loob rest house. Bahala na silang dalawa riyan.

Agad akong dumiretso sa living room, I slumped on the couch and hugged a pillow there.  I took a deep breath and calmed my nerves. My system is in ruckus again. Bakit kasi nagpakita pa ang Zakarius na ’yon?! Nagkakagulo na naman ang sistema ko ng dahil sa kanya.

“I love you… I love you so much, Angel.”

I gulped as my cheeks heated when his confession suddenly popped up in my mind. I buried my face on the pillow to suppress my scream.

No, hindi ako kinikilig. This is just due to my pregnancy, I’m just more emotional than before.

“Angel.”

Napatingin ako kay Castor na naglalakad papalapit sa ’kin. Umupo siya sa gabi ko at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

“Ano ng plano mo? He seems determined to pursue you,” Castor murmured while staring at me.

“Walang plano, Castor. He’s just bored, he’s not serious about pursuing me. Tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko, sana h’wag mong sabihin sa kanya ang tungkol do’n. Desidido ako na umalis, mahihirapan lang ako kapag nalaman niya ang tungkol dito,” bulong ko at napahawak sa tiyan ko.

Castor sighed and nodded. I want to ask him kung ano na ang nangyari kay Zak, kung nasa labas pa rin ba ang lalaking ’yon o umalis na… Nahihiya lang talaga ako, baka kung ano pa ang isipin niya.

“Ms. Angel Mendoza, hello, Ms. Angel Mendoza. Lumabas ka riyan, Ms. Mendoza. Para ’to sa ekonomiya, please lumabas ka.”

Nagtatakang nagkatinginan kami ni Castor. What the hell is that? Pamilyar sa akin ang boses na ’yon.

Agad akong tumayo at naglakad papunta sa pinto. Binuksan ko ang pinto at gano’n na lang ang gulat ko nang makita si Cadence na nasa tapat ng rest house ni Castor. Katabi niya si Zakarius at si Arken na tila nahihiya sa pinaggagagawa ni Cadence.

Cadence is holding a megaphone, he smiled at me and waved his hand. Where the fuck did he get that megaphone?!

“Hello, Ms. Mendoza… Shit, I love megaphones,” sabi pa ni Cad.

Napasapo na lang ako sa noo ko, hindi ba siya aware na nakaka-abala siya sa ibang mga tao rito sa lakas ng megaphone niya?!

“What the hell, Cadence?!” naiinis na asik ko saka tiningnan siya nang masama.

“Sorry na, Ms. Mendoza. Namomroblema kasi ’tong kaibigan kong si Zakarius dahil ayaw mo siyang kausapin. Usap na kayo, please, bago niya itumba ’yung lalaking kasama mo sa loob. Serious ’to, walang halong joke,” nakangising sabi ni Cadence.

Naglakad si Zakarius papalapit sa ’kin, hinawakan niya ang kamay ko habang matiim na nakatitig sa mga mata ko.

“Angel, please, just give me even a minute to explain my side, I will–” agad kong pinutol ang sasabihin niya.

“30 seconds,” nakataas kilay na sabi ko. Halatang natigilan siya sa sinabi ko.

“I’m serious here, Angel. I just want to–”

“Okay, 15 seconds,” I said and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Angel, I’m really sincere about you. I truly love you… About Jaze, it’s hard to explain it like this, if you could just give me enough time, I will–” muli kong pinutol ang sasabihin niya.

“Time’s up, now leave. I don’t wanna hear you gibberish talk, I don’t wanna see your face, I don’t want you touching me,” I said while gritting my teeth. Inalis ko ang pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko.

Biglang sumulpot si Castor sa likuran ko at hinila ako palayo kay Zak. Muli silang nagtagisan ng tingin. Bahagya pang itinulak ni Castor si Zak palayo.

“Narinig mo naman siguro, direk. Umalis ka na lang,” sabi ni Castor.

“I’m not talking to you, Castor. Get out of my way before I lose my patience and kill you right here, right now,” Zakarius said in a cold tone grabbed Castor’s shirt.

“Bring it on, assh-le. Show me what you’ve got, baka naman puro satsat ka lang,” tila nanghahamon pang sabi ni Castor.

Zakarius’ jaw clenched, he’s now glaring at Castor as if he wants to kill him right on the spot. I held Castor’s arm, trying to calm him down. Agad namang napatingin si Zakarius sa kamay kong nakahawak sa braso ni Castor.

“Don’t touch him,” mariing sabi ni Zakarius at inalis ang pagkakahawak ko kay Castor. Natigilan ako sa ginawa niya.

I hope he’s aware that he just showed his immature side. Damn, okay, kinda cute. But no.

“Hay! Wait, wait! Papasok muna kami sa loob ni Arken, nauuhaw na kami. Halika, Angel. Hayaan mo silang magsuntukan diyan.”

Natigilan kami nang bigla na lang sumingit si Cadence at Arken. Umakbay naman sa ’kin si Cadence at hinila ako papasok sa loob. Napaawang na lang ang labi ko sa ginawa niya, kung makapasok siya sa loob ay para bang siya ang may ari ng rest house ni Castor.

Nagpatianod na lang ako kay Cadence nang magtungo kami sa kusina. Umupo silang dalawa ni Arken.

“Pahingi nga tubig, Ms. Mendoza,” utos ni Cadence saka napahawak pa sa lalamunan niya.

Napairap na lang ako at sinunod na lang din ang sinabi niya. Kumuha ako ng pitsel sa ref at kumuha ng baso saka inabutan siya ng tubig.

Agad namang sumunod sa ’min sina Castor at Zak.

“Lumabas kayong tatlo sa rest house ko! Trespassing ’tong ginagawa niyo,” naiinis na sabi ni Castor.

“Yabang mo naman, bilhin ko pa ’tong rest house mo, e. Magkano ba ’to?”

Tumayo si Cadence at naglabas ng wallet. Napasapo na lang ako sa noo ko at napailing. Mukhang sasakit ang ulo ko sa apat na lalaking nandito ngayon.

“Angel, please hear me out first.” Lumapit sa akin si Zak at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

Huminga ako nang malalim at tinaasan siya ng kilay.

“I don’t wanna hear anything from you.” I pushed him away.

“Sige na, Ms. Mendoza. Pakinggan mo na ’yang si Zak. Mahal ka talaga niyan, promise, cross my heart, mamatay man siya. Diba ’no, Arken? Kitang kita natin kung gaano kamahal ni Boss Zakarius si Angel,” sabi ni Cadence at siniko si Arken na abala sa pagpindot sa cellphone nito.

“I don’t know. I don’t give a fuck about Zakarius,” tila wala lang na sabi ni Arken.

“Tangina mo talaga, napaka-walang kwenta mo. Bakit ba ikaw ang sinama namin? Dapat si Eron na lang,” napapailing na sabi naman ni Cadence.

Muling lumapit sa ’kin si Zakarius at marahang hinawakan ang dalawang braso ko. Tumitig siya sa mga mata ko, napatitig na lang din ako sa asul na mga mata niya.

“I love you, Angel, ikaw lang. Please let me make it up to you.”

Nag-init ang magkabilang pisngi ko dahil basta na lang niyang sinabi ’yon kahit pa kasama namin sina Cadence na tila ba wala siyang pakialam sa mga ’yon.

“Aw ’no, tamis naman, baka Zakarius ’to,” nanunuksong sabi ni Cadence at pumalakpak pa.

Hinila ni Castor si Zakarius palayo sa ’kin. Castor held my wrist and positioned me on his back as if he’s hiding me from Zakarius.

“Hanggang salita ka lang, Cavalcante. Balikan mo na lang ang girlfriend mo at lubayan mo na si Angel,” tila naiining ng sabi ni Castor.

“I don’t have a girlfriend… Wala pa,” nakakunot-noong sabi ni Zak saka ibinaling ang tingin sa ’kin. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa kanya.

“To hell with that, Cavalcante. You can’t fool her again.” Nakipagtagisan ng tingin si Castor kay Zakarius.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako nang magtinginan na naman silang dalawa nang masama. Mukhang kaunti na lang magsusuntukan na sila.

“Hep, hep! Ayusin natin ’to, daanin natin sa patas na paraan.”

Natigilan silang dalawa at napatingin kay Cadence. Lumapit sa ’kin si Cadence at hinila ako papalayo kay Castor saka inakbayan ako.

“Don’t touch her!” sabay na sabi ni Castor at Zak.

“Easy lang kayong dalawa. Makinig muna kayo sa ’kin, ganito ang naisip ko… patunayan niyo kung sino talaga ang karapat-dapat sa inyong dalawa. Kami ni Arken ang judge at scorer, don’t worry, no to favoritism kahit kaibigan ko si Zak… si Angel pa rin naman ang magde-desisyon. Pagalingan na lang maging aso, este manligaw, saka pagalingan na lang din magpakilig. Dapat pati si Arken na walang pakiramdam kiligin din. Gano’n…” Cadence smirked and winked at me. I just rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

What a fucking ridiculous idea.

“Ano? Payag na kayo, tutal parehas naman kayong may pag-ibig na nadarama kay Binibining Mendoza, patunayan niyo. Payag ka na rin, Angel, saka pakinggan mo na rin paliwanag ni Zakarius… Seryoso ’to, ang mananalo magiging kasintahan ang magandang dilag na ’to,” sabi ni Cadence at tinapik ang balikat ko.

Napailing na lang ako at napahilot sa sentido ko. Ano ba’ng gulo ’to?

“May extrang kuwarto ba rito? Dito kami matutulog para masubaybayan namin ang competition na ’to,” sabi pa ni Cadence at nagtaas-baba pa ng kilay. “H’wag na kayo magdalawang-isip, pati ikaw, Angel. Fair naman ’to, saka alam naman namin na nahihirapan ka na sa pagiging maganda mo. Kaya nga nandito kami ni Arken, e, para tulungan kang mag-decide,” pamimilit pa ni Cadence.

Napatingin ako kina Zak at Castor na tila gusto pa rin yatang magsapukan. Napakamot na lang ako sa batok ko.

“Hindi na natin kailangan ng competition, I know I deserve Angel more than this assh-le… and I’m confident that I love her more than you love her, Cavalcante,” sabi ni Castor saka tumingin nang masama kay Zak.

“Shut the fuck up, you know nothing about my feelings. I love her more than anything, your love for her is nothing compared to mine,” agad namang segunda ni Zakarius.

“Ops! Puro naman kayo salita, e. Kaya nga may competition tayo, ipakita niyo ang pagmamahal niyo kay Angel. Diba ’no, Angel my friend? Kaya bukas, magsisimula kaagad ang competition. H’wag tayong mag-aksaya ng oras. Let’s do this!”

Napapikit na lang ako nang mariin at napahilot sa sentido ko. Ano ba ang trip sa buhay ng Cadence na ’to?

---

“Good morning, Angel!”

Napakunot ang noo ko sa bumungad sa ’kin paglabas ko ng kuwarto. Nasa living room sina Cadence at Arken at prenteng nakaupo sa couch.

“Dito talaga kayo natulog?” tila hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.

“Hindi, do’n kami natulog sa katabing rest house ni Arken. Sina Castor at Zak hindi natulog, e, parang mga tanga. Nakabantay sila sa pinto mo baka raw kasi pasukin ka ng isa sa kanila. Pero sabagay, kung hindi nakabantay si Castor baka pinasok ka na ni Zakarius sa kuwarto mo,” napapailing na sabi ni Cadence. Napairap na lang ako.

“Where are they ba? Bakit wala sila rito?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko.

“Nakatulog yata, buong gabi ba namang gising, e. Sino ba’ng hindi aantukin?” natatawang sabi ni Cadence saka muling nanood sa TV.

Nagtungo na lang ako sa kusina para uminom ng tubig. Ano ba kasing trip ng dalawang ’yon at hindi natulog?

Natigilan ako nang lumabas si Castor sa kuwarto niya, mukhang kakaligo niya lang. Napangiti siya nang makita ako at agad na lumapit sa ’kin.

“Good morning,” he greeted and pinched my chin. I just smiled at him too.

Natigilan ako nang pumasok si Zakarius sa rest house. Mukhang kakaligo niya lang din, saan naman kaya siya naligo?

“Zakarius, dude. Kilos na, inuunahan ka ni Castor!” natatawang sabi ni Cadence.

Tumayo si Cadence at lumapit sa ’min. Umupo siya sa tabi ko at bumulong sa ’kin.

“Magpaluto ka ng almusal, first challenge,” bulong niya. Napakunot na lang ang noo ko.

It seems like he’s really serious about that challenge thingy. I didn’t even take that seriously.

“Sabi ni Angel gusto niya raw ng almusal, kung sino raw ang may masarap na luto, may one point agad. Game na!” nakangising sabi ni Cadence.

Natigagal ako nang mag-unahan sina Zak at Castor sa kitchen counter. Halos mag-agawan na rin sila sa utensils.

Sine-seryoso ba talaga nila ang mga trip ni Cadence?

“Chill ka lang, Angel. Hayaan mo silang dalawa. Magandang way ’to para mapatunayan natin kung sino ang mas deserving ng ’yong pag-ibig,” bulong ni Cadence saka umakbay sa akin.

I just shook my head and let them be. Mukha namang hindi magpapapigil ang dalawang ’yon.

Halos sabay na natapos magluto si Zak at Castor. Agad nilang inabot ang plato sa ’kin.

“You just wasted your time, Angel likes tinapa for her breakfast,” sabi ni Castor saka ngumisi kay Zak.

“My bacon and egg are much better than your tinapa,” sabi naman ni Zak at nakipagtagisan ng tingin kay Castor.

Napailing na lang ako at pinagsama sa isang plato ang niluto nilang dalawa. I’m so hungry right now, kaya kong ubusin ’to.

Hindi ko na lang sila pinansin habang nagsasagutan sila at kumain na lang ng almusal. Si Cadence naman ay tila referee ng dalawa, siraulo talga ang lalaking ’to.

Iniwan ko na lang sila sa kusina pagkatapos kong kumain. Nagtungo ako sa kuwarto ko para kumuha ng damit saka dumiretso sa banyo para maligo.

Honestly, natatakot ako na i-entertain si Zakarius. I’m so marupok when it comes to him, I can’t trust him, kahit sina Cadence ay hindi ko mapagkatiwalaan.

Natigilan ako nang lumabas na ako sa banyo pagkatapos kong maligo at magbihis. Napailing na lang ako nang mapansing nag-aaway pa rin si Zak at Castor. Si Cadence ay nanonood sa kanila na tila ba enjoy na enjoy, napansin ko rin na wala na si Arken. Siguro hindi na niya kinaya ang ingay sa paligid.

“Angel, upo ka rito.”

Cadence guided me to the couch and made me sit. I looked at him with confusion as my forehead creased. What is he up to this time?

“Ano’ng gusto mong kainin?” tanong ni Cadence.

“Kakakain ko lang pero gusto ko ng fruits and cheese-flavored ice cream,” sagot ko sa tanong niya.

“Ops! Tama na ’yang away niyo. Gusto raw ni Angel ng cheese-flavored ice cream, milk tea, saka yung mga prutas, saka hindi mawawala yung burger at saka fries,” nakangising sabi ni Cadence.

Napakurap na lang ako nang mabilis na lumabas sina Zak at Castor. Tiningnan ko nang masama si Cadence.

“Ice cream at fruits lang naman ang sabi ko, e.”

“Siyempre sa ’kin ’yung iba. Nakakapagod kaya mag-host saka maging referee ng contest… Hay grabe, parang gusto ko na lang din tuloy maging babae,” napapailing na sabi ni Cadence saka binuksan ang TV.

Okay, fine, I’m kinda enjoying this too.

---

“Damn.”

Napahawak ako sa likuran ko dahil sumasakit ’yon. Ilang oras din yata akong natulog, simula nang mabuntis ako, napansin ko na palagi akong inaantok.

Natigilan ako nang makitang si Zakarius lang ang bumungad sa ’kin paglabas ko ng kuwarto. Wala sina Cadence at Castor.

Nagtungo ako sa kusina para uminom ng tubig, hindi ko na lang siya pinansin kahit nararamdaman kong nakatingin siya sa ’kin.

Hinugasan ko ang basong ginamit ko at umupo sa upuan habang hinihilot ang balikat at balakang ko. Nasobrahan yata ako sa tulog.

Lumapit sa ’kin si Zakarius at umupo sa tabi ko. Napatikhim na lang ako nang hilahin niya ang upuan ko papalapit sa kanya.

“Saan masakit?” he asked while staring into my eyes. I just rolled my eyes and turned my gaze away from him.

“I’m fine,” pag-iinarte ko. Akmang tatayo ako nang hawakan niya ang kamay ko upang pigilan ako.

Marahan niya akong hinila upang yakapin. Natigilan ako sa ginawa niya. He gently caressed my back and buried his face on my neck, inhaling my scent. I gulped and calmed myself, my heart is in ruckus again, it feels like my heart wants to escape from my ribcage. Nanghihina na naman ako.

Kumalas siya sa pagkakayakap sa ’kin saka muling tumitig sa mukha ko. Bigla tuloy akong na-conscious.

“I missed you, I missed this, I missed cuddling with you,” he murmured and gently pinched my cheeks. “Squishy, squishy.”

Napasinghap ako sa ginawa niya. Pilit kong pinakalma ang sarili ko dahil feeling ko pulang pula na ang mukha ko ngayon.

I missed this too.

“Ops! Boss Zakarius, walang ganyanan, umaatake ka kaagad, e.”

Agad kong itinulak si Zakarius palayo nang marinig ko ang boses ni Cadence, kasama niya si Castor, may bitbit silang plastik na hindi ko alam kung ano ang laman.

“What are you doing, Cavalcante?!” Agad na lumapit si Castor kay Zak at hinila ito palayo sa ’kin.

Inilagay ni Cadence ang mga plastic sa ibabaw ng mesa. Bumili yata ulit sila ng mga fruits.

“Angel, my friend.” Lumapit sa ’kin si Cadence at umupo sa tabi ko. “Pahirapan ulit natin sila,” bulong niya sa ’kin.

What is he up to again? Si Cadence na yata ang may pinaka-siraulo na nakilala ko.

“Sabi ni Angel, gusto niya raw na manghuli kayo ng isda sa dagat, gamit lang ang kamay niyo. Paramihan daw ng mahuhuli,” nakangising sabi ni Cadence.

Napailing na lang ako nang agad na lumabas ang dalawa at nagtungo sa dagat. Napaawang na lang ang labi ko habang si Cadence naman ay tawa nang tawa.

“Chill ka lang, Ms. Mendoza. Enjoy-in mo na lang ’to.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

“Okay, another challenge ’to. Ang tawag ko rito, ‘spend the day with Angel’. Dito na babase si Angel kung sino ang pipiliin niya. Ehem, walang pikunan ’to, guys. Magba-bato bato pick kayong dalawa, kung sino’ng mananalo, siya ang mauuna. Siyempre dito sa ‘spend the day with Angel’, walang dapat umabala sa naka-schedule na kasama ni Angel. Kanya kanyang technique na lang para mapa-fall siya. So, game na, bato bato pick na kayo,” sabi ni Cadence.

Umagang umaga, ito ang ibinungad sa amin ni Cadence. Hanggang ngayon pala ay hindi pa rin natatapos ang competition kuno na ’to.

“No, that’s not acceptable. Paano kung kidnap-in ni Zak si Angel?” nakakunot-noong tanong ni Castor.

“Ano ka ba? Masyado namang masama ang tingin mo sa kaibigan ko, Castor. Hindi gano’ng klaseng tao si Zakarius my friend, hindi nangki-kidnap ’yan. So ano na, bato bato pick na, h’wag na tayong mag-aksaya ng oras,” sabi ni Cadence at pumwesto sa gitna nina Zakarius at Castor.

“What the hell is bato bato pick?” Zakarius asked as his forehead creased. I bit my lower lip to suppress my laugh, to hell with this man. Siya lang yata ang Pilipino na hindi alam ang bato bato pick.

I just sighed while staring at them. Cadence is patiently explaining how bato bato pick works to Zakarius.

“Okay, game na… Bato bato pick!” sabi ni Cadence.

Ayaw kong sakyan ang trip na ’to ni Cadence pero napatingin ako sa kamay nina Zak at Castor. Bato ang kay Castor at gunting naman ang kay Zak.

“Okay, dahil nanalo si lover boy Castor… Si Castor muna ang makakasama ni Angel ng buong araw. Zakarius my friend, pasensya na pero bawal tayong umepal sa kanilang dalawa,” sabi ni Cadence at umakbay kay Zakarius na nakakunot ang noo.

“This is unacceptable,” tila naiinis na sabi ni Zakarius, umiigting pa ang panga nito.

“Dude, let’s be fair here. Kahit kaibigan kita, kailangan ko pa rin panindigan ang pagiging host ng competition na ’to. Let’s go, my friend. Bukas naman masosolo mo siya, e.”

Hinila na ni Cadence si Zakarius palabas. Wala namang nagawa si Zak at hinabol na lang ako ng tingin. Halatang ayaw pa niya lumabas pero pinilit siyang hilahin ni Cadence palabas.

Naiwan na kami ni Castor dito sa rest house. Natigilan ako nang matawa siya saka umupo sa tabi ko.

“Damn, Director Cavalcante fucking surprised me, I didn’t expect him to be like that. I mean, he always seemed serious and matured, kung umakto siya pagdating sa ’yo para siyang teenager,” napapailing na sabi pa nito.

“He’s more than what you think he is. He’s immature, he’s clingy, sometimes he’s innocent about some certain things, he’s also a cold and heartless jerk… He’s unpredictable,” I said and drank my fruit juice.

“Well, I don’t want to admit this, but he seems sincere, Angel. Hindi ko siya kinakampihan, ayaw ko rin naman na piliin mo siya… Pero sa tingin ko dapat mong pakinggan ang paliwanag niya.”

Natahimik ako sa sinabi ni Castor. Sa totoo lang wala na akong balak pa na pakinggan si Zak… Paano kung umasa lang ako? Paano kung pinaglalaruan niya lang ako? Paano kung si Jaze naman pala talaga ang mahal niya? Sobrang nag-aalinlangan pa rin ako kahit na gustong gusto ng bumigay ng puso ko sa kanya.

“So… How will we spend the day?” Castor asked and smiled at me. I just chuckled and shrugged.

Napahawak si Castor sa baba niya na tila nag-iisip. He looked at me and touched his bottom lip.

“Nothing, we’ll just talk, or eat… Puwede namang tumulala na lang tayo,” tila natatawang sabi niya. Naningkit ang mga mata ko.

“Sumusuko ka na ba kay Zakarius?” tanong ko na lang, may halong pagbibiro.

Castor smirked at me and gently pinched my chin.

“I know you will choose him. Nakikita ko rin naman na pagkakaibigan lang talaga ang kaya mong ibigay sa ’kin, I respect that, pero gusto ko munang makita na talagang seryoso siya sa pagkakataong ’to bago ako sumuko. Maganda na ang sigurado,” nakangising sabi niya. Napangiwi na lang ako.

“I won’t give him a second chance, Castor. I’m so done with him, I don’t want him in my life again,” I said with finality and gritted my teeth.

“Really, huh? Scam yata ’yan,” natatawang sabi niya na tila nang-aasar. Inirapan ko na lang siya saka siniko ang tagiliran niya.

Sa tingin ko rin ay malaki ang posibilidad na hindi ko mapanindigan ang sinabi ko. Knowing my marupok heart, it’s always weak when it comes to Zakarius.

WALA KAMING ginawa ni Castor kahapon kundi ang mag-kwentuhan at manood ng TV. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin chine-check ang nangyayari sa social media ngayon, pati na rin sa career ko. Baka makasama pa sa baby ko.

“Okay, turn mo na ngayon, Zakarius my friend. Galingan mo ha, ikaw ang manok ko rito. Fighting!” sabi ni Cadence at nag ‘fighting’ gesture pa.

“Hey, assh-le, no monkey business,” asik ni Castor saka tiningnan nang masama si Zak. Hindi naman siya pinansin ni Zakarius na nakatitig pa rin sa ’kin. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa kanya at ibinalik ang atensyon ko sa gatas na iniinom ko.

“H’wag kang masyadong OA, pareng Castor. Mabait ’yang si Zak lalo kapag tulog, naglalakad nga lang,” sabi ni Cadence at tinapik-tapik pa ang likod ni Castor.

“Angel, tawagan mo ’ko agad kapag may ginawang kahayupan sa ’yo ang lalaking ’yan,” sabi ni Castor. Napakamot na lang si Cadence sa kilay niya at nagsimulang hilahin palabas si Castor.

Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Zakarius dito. Nanatili siyang nakatayo ilang metro ang layo sa puwesto ko, hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at itinuloy ang pag-inom ng gatas.

I don’t drink milk before, pero noong nalaman kong buntis ako, ginawa kong alternative ng coffee ang milk. Masama sa buntis ang coffee.

“Tutunganga ka na lang ba riyan?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko.

Hindi man lang ba siya lalapit sa ’kin o kaya yakapin ako. Akala ko ba ay na-miss niya ’ko? Bakit parang hindi naman?

Zakarius siged and scratched his nape. He looks like an awkward teenager right now. Walang emosyon sa mukha niya pero bahagyang namumula ang mukha niya na hindi ko alam kung bakit.

Dahan-dahan siyang lumapit sa ’kin, pinigilan ko na matawa dahil ang liliit ng hakbang niya. He’s showing me his cute side again, damn him. How can he be so cute and handsome at the same time?

“Can I hug you?” he asked and stared at me intently. I rolled my eyes and stood up. Nagtungo ako sa sink at hinugasan ang baso nang maubos ko na ang gatas.

I want him to hug me but I will never admit it. I won’t let him win.

I took a deep breath and faced him. I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrow.

“No, you’re not allowed to touch me, Zakarius,” I said with finality in my voice and turned my back at him.

Nagtungo ako sa living room at umupo sa couch. Sumunod naman sa ’kin si Zakarius pero hindi siya umupo sa tabi ko, nanatili siyang nakatayo sa gilid ng couch.

“Can I explain my side now? Will you hear me out now?” he asked. His baritone voice didn’t suit his question.

“No. All I want you to do for this day is to stay away from me, don’t talk to me, and don’t touch me. Hindi naman siguro mahirap ’yon ’no?” I asked and smiled sarcastically at him.

Pakikinggan ko naman ang paliwanag niya, kaso hindi muna ngayon. Hindi pa ako handa sa mga ganyan, baka hindi ko lang din naman magustuhan ang paliwanag niya… Sarado pa ang isip ko ngayon.

Zakarius didn’t say anything. Lumayo siya nang kaunti sa akin at hindi na ulit nagsalita. Mukhang gagawin niya talaga ang mga sinabi ko.

Hindi niya ba ma-gets na nagpapakipot lang ako?!

“Just call me if you need or want something,” he murmured.

Napairap na lang ako. Nagtungo siya sa kusina, umupo siya sa mesa ngunit nakatitig siya sa ’kin. Lalo tuloy akong nailang.

Nasaan na yung makulit at mapilit na Zakarius? Kahit sabihin ko noon na ayaw ko siyang katabi o kayakap, mangungulit pa rin siya at yayakap sa akin… Hindi bagay sa kanya ang maging good boy.

I looked at him, he’s still staring at me. I just sighed and rolled my eyes at him. This is so awkward, I want him to say or do something but he’s just really staring at me. Hindi ba siya kikilos para makuha ang loob ko?

“Cook a steak for me,” I commanded. Zakarius nodded and stood up. Nagtungo siya sa kitchen counter at nagsimulang magluto.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at tumayo saka muling nagtungo sa kusina. I sat on the chair and watched him as his back and shoulder moves. Na-miss ko ang steak na iniluto niya noon.

Tahimik lang ako habang pinanonood siya. I want to hug him from behind and nuzzle on his neck. Kanina ko pa gustong gawin ’yon pero pinipigilan ko ang sarili ko.

Matagal din bago naluto ang steak, inihain niya iyon sa akin nang matapos siya. Siya pa ang nag-slice no’n para sa ’kin. Hindi ko na lang siya pinigilan at hinayaan siya.

Umupo si Zakarius sa tabi ko pagkatapos akong paghandaan ng tubig. I cleared my throat and tried to focus on the steak and not on him. His manly scent is lingering on my nose. I missed his smell, I really want to bury my face on his neck and inhale his scent.

I took a small bite on the steak. Nakatingin pa rin sa akin si Zakarius, mas lalong nakakailang dahil magkatabi lang kami.

Naiinis na uminom ako ng tubig saka tumingin sa kanya nang masama. He looked at me with slight confusion in his blue eyes.

“Why? Does it tastes bad?” tila nag-aalalang tanong niya saka itinuro ang steak. Napapitlag ako nang maramdaman ko pa ang pasimpleng paghawak niya sa siko ko.

Damn, electricity is gushed through my veins again. Simpleng hawak lang iyon pero nagwala na kaagad ang mga paru-paro sa tiyan ko.

“No, hindi iyon. Puwede ba h’wag kang tingin nang tingin sa ’kin, nadi-distract ako! Saka h’wag mo nga akong hawakan!” singhal ko saka itinulak siya sa dibdib.

Hindi naman siya natinag at nanatiling nakatingin sa ’kin. My forehead creased when his gaze goes down, he stared at my lips.

“Can I wipe the sauce on the side of your lips?” he asked in a husky voice.

My cheeks heated, napahawak ako sa gilid ng labi ko ngunit wala naman akong naramdaman na sauce do’n.

“Nasaan ba? Wipe it,” I murmured while touching my the side of my lips.

Natigilan ako nang ilapit ni Zakarius ang mukha sa ’kin. Napasinghap ako kasabay ng panginginig ng mga tuhod ko nang dumampi ang labi niya sa labi ko. My whole body shivered when the tip of his hot tongue licked the side of my lips. My pulse raced and my heart thumped as if it wants to go out of my ribcage.

Inilayo na niya ang mukha sa akin pero nakatulala pa rin ako dahil sa gulat. I looked at him with disbelief, my eyes are still wide and my lips are still parted.

“H-how dare you?! Why the fuck did you kiss me?!” I shouted and pointed my lips.

“You said I’m not allowed to touch you, but you didn’t say that I’m not allowed to kiss you, and besides, I just removed the sauce on the side of your lips. Hindi pa halik ang ginawa ko,” he said in a calm voice.

Huminga ako nang malalim at pinaypayan ang sarili ko gamit ang dalawang kamay ko. He outsmarted me, damn him for pulling dirty tricks like that!

You liked it too, Angel.

Napailing na lang ako sa pumasok sa isip ko. Of course not! I didn’t like it, cross my heart.

Nanginginig ang mga kamay na ibinalik ko na lang ulit ang atensyon ko sa steak kahit pa hindi ako makapag-focus dahil sa ginawa niya.

Nakatitig pa rin siya sa ’kin hanggang sa matapos akong kumain. Napaismid na lang ako at muling nagtungo sa living room at umupo sa couch. Sumunod naman si Zakarius sa ’kin, umupo siya sa kabilang sulok ng couch, ilang dipa ang layo mula sa ’kin.

Binuksan ko ang TV at inilagay ’yon sa animal channel. Nawiwili ako manood ng mga ganito nitong mga nakaraang araw.

“Paano mo nalaman na nandito ako?” tanong ko habang nakatingin pa rin sa TV.

“I paid Cadence to track you down,” he answered.

“Bakit mo ako pinuntahan dito?” muling tanong ko.

“Because I love you.”

Muntik na akong masamid sa sarili kong laway dahil sa sinabi niya. Napakagat na lang ako sa dila ko at pinakalma ang sarili ko. Hindi na yata ako masasanay sa pagiging straight-forward niya.

“If you really love me, bakit ngayon mo lang ako pinuntahan? Wala ka noong panahon na kailangan kita, a-akala ko tuloy sinusuyo mo si Jaze at wala ka ng pakialam sa akin,” sabi ko na lang at pinaglaruan ang mga daliri ko. Bigla tuloy akong nahiya sa pinagsasabi ko.

“We’re in Italy during that time, our organization needed to take care of something, we ambushed a drug lord there. Cadence took all of our phones to keep us concentrated on the mission… And Jaze, I didn’t suyo her, why would I do that? Hindi ko naman siya mahal, I didn’t even like her, not even once… So, do you want to hear my side now? About Jaze,” tanong niya saka umusod papalapit sa ’kin.

Hindi niya minahal si Jaze? Sa ilang taon nilang relasyon, hindi ako naniniwalang hindi niya minahal o nagustuhan man lang si Jaze.

I pushed his chest, umatras ako papalayo sa kanya saka tiningnan siya nang masama. Tumayo ako muling umatras palayo sa kanya.

“Do you really think I’m stupid, Zak? Nagsisinungaling ka pa sa ’kin? H’wag mo akong gawing tanga, Zakarius. Maniniwala pa ako kung sasabihin mong nawala ang pagmamahal mo sa kanya, pero sa tingin mo maniniwala ako sa sinabi mo?! To be honest, until now I don’t believe that you really love me. Sigurado ako na naghahanap ka lang ng pampalipas-oras, maybe Jaze got mad and rejected you kaya sa akin ka bumubuntot! Ah, maybe you need someone to be your sexual partner again. I bet you just want to get into my pants.”

Halatang natigilan si Zakarius sa sinabi ko, kahit ako ay natigilan din. Is this still due to my pregnancy?

Zakarius turned his gaze away from me and licked his bottom lip. Hindi ko alam pero may kakaiba akong nakitang emosyon sa mga mata niya na hindi ko maipaliwanag.

Nasaktan ba siya sa mga sinabi ko?

“That’s… that’s not my intention, Angel,” he murmured and scratched his nape. “I really love you.”

Tumingin siya sa ibang direksyon. Hindi nakawala sa paningin ko ang pasimpleng pagpahid niya ng kung ano sa mukha niya. Napakurap na lang ako.

Is he crying?

“Zak,” bulong ko at akmang lalapit sa kanya pero agad siyang tumayo. Nakatungo pa rin siya at halatang sinasadyang iiwas ang mukha sa akin. His pointed nose is kinda reddish as well as his ears and cheeks.

“I… I have to wash the dishes,” sabi niya saka agad na nagtungo sa kusina.

Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko habang hinahabol siya ng tingin.

Did I just… Did I just make Zakarius Cavalcante cry?

---

Maghapon yatang lumilipad ang isip ko.

Kinakausap naman ako ni Zakarius, pinagsisilbihan niya rin ako, pero hindi pa rin maalis sa isip ko na umiyak siya. Hindi ko na lang ulit binanggit ’yon pero hindi talaga maalis sa isip ko.

Maybe I was too harsh on him earlier. Kung iisiping maigi, Zakarius can get any woman he can have sex with, I mean, he’s handsome and hot, no woman can resist him. Where the hell did I get the idea that he just wants to fuck me?

“Hey, you alright?”

Napatingin ako kay Castor nang umupo siya sa tabi ko. I just nodded and smiled faintly at him.

“Nasaan sina Zak at Cadence?” tanong ko.

“Nasa labas, may pinag-uusapan yatang seryoso. Noong nalasing si Cadence kagabi, niyaya niya ko na sumali sa organization kuno nila. Hindi ko masyadong naintindihan pero sabi niya, I can be the 21st member of their–” agad kong pinutol ang sasabihin niya.

“No, it’s nothing, he’s just drunk. H’wag mo ng isipin ’yon.”

Hayop na Cadence ’yon, balak pa yatang isali si Castor sa kanila, kapag si Castor natuto pang pumatay… Masasapak ko lang siya.

“Ano… Magpapahangin lang ako sa labas saglit,” pagpapaalam ko kay Castor. Tumango na lang siya saka ibinaling ang tingin sa TV.

Lumabas ako ng rest house, natigilan ako nang makita sina Cadence at Zak na nakaupo sa mahabang upuan at nag-uusap, ilang metro din ang layo nila sa ’kin, nakatalikod sila sa puwesto ko kaya hindi nila ako nakikita.

“Just let her go, dude. Mukhang wala namang balak si Angel na patawarin ka o pakinggan man lang ang paliwanag mo, you’re just wasting your time,” Cadence said and puffed on his cigarette.

“I won’t,” sabi naman ni Zakarius.

“Kapag wala ka ng mapapala, tigilan mo na. Tingnan mo na lang sina Arken, pinalaya at hinayaan na lang nila ang mga babaeng mahal nila dahil aware sila sa mundong ginagalawan natin. Arken can easily know where Ayen is, pero hinayaan na lang niya. Minsan gano’n ang pagmamahal, Zak,” Cadence said and sighed.

“I’m not stupid like them, Cadence. They have all the chance to pursue the woman they love. Ako, ngayon lang, ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Zakarius, hindi ko naiintindihan ang ibig niyang sabihin, pero bakit pakiramdam ko…

Napailing na lang ako.

“I waited for almost ten years for this moment, Cad. I’ll show her my love and affection that I restrained for years, I waited for almost a decade, I won’t miss the chance again… Hindi ko na kayang maghintay ulit. I won’t let her go, I will never let her go.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

Hindi ako tanga, at kahit sino makukuha ang ibig sabihin ng mga sinabi ni Zakarius… Pero hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit tila na-blangko ang isip ko.

Just relax, Angel. Pretend that you didn’t hear that. Yeah, right. Hindi ko dapat ipahalata na narinig ko ang sinabi niyang ’yon.

“Okay ka lang, Angel? Kagabi ka pa tahimik,” puna ni Castor saka inabutan ako ng fresh orange juice. Ngumiti na lang ako sa kanya saka ininom iyon.

“I’m fine, may iniisip lang,” sabi ko na lang saka pasimpleng tumingin sa paligid.

It’s already 1 pm, ilang oras din akong nagkulong sa kuwarto. Bakit wala rito sina Cad at Zak?

“Naliligo silang dalawa sa dagat.”

Natigilan ako at napatingin kay Castor. I raised my eyebrows at him but he just smiled at me and pinched my cheek.

“I know you want to ask that. Niyaya rin akong maligo ni Cadence pero wala ako sa mood. Ikaw? Gusto mo bang magpahangin sa labas?” tanong niya. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa kanya saka itinuloy ang pag-inom ng juice.

“The hell I care,” I murmured and sipped on my juice again. Castor chuckled and scratched his eyebrow.

“Sungit mo naman, buntis,” natatawang sabi niya. Inismiran ko na lang siya saka sinipa ang binti niya sa ilalim ng table.

Mabilis kong inubos ang juice, halos inisang inuman ko na lang ’yon. I stood up and fixed my hair and my flowy floral dress. I need to get some fresh air.

“Lalabas muna ako saglit, Castor. Kailangan ko lang magpahangin,” sabi ko na lang saka agad na lumabas ng rest house, hindi ko na hinintay na sumagot si Castor.

Agad akong nagtungo sa dalampasigan, napakunot ang noo ko nang makitang wala naman sa dagat sina Zakarius. Pinagti-trip-an lang ba ako ni Castor?

“Kuya Zak! Paano po ba ako gaganda? Ang pangit ko raw po sabi ng crush ko kaya ayaw niya sa akin.”

Natigilan ako at napatingin sa pinanggalingan ng boses ng batang babae. Nakita ko si Zakarius mula sa di kalayuan, nakaupo siya sa buhanginan habang nakapalibot ang mga bata sa kanya. My forehead furrowed as my eyebrow shot up. What the hell is he doing? Bakit siya napapalibutan ng mga bata?

He’s topless, his muscled arms are exposed, as well as his firm abs. His muscular body makes me want to forgive him already and touch him all day long.

“Kung pinanganak kang pangit, hindi ka na gaganda maliban na lang kung magpaparetoke ka,” walang emosyon na sabi ni Zakarius sa batang babae.

I gasped in shock with his remark, pati ang batang babae ay halatang natigilan din sa sinabi niya, halata rin sa mukha nito na nasaktan ito sa diretsahang sinabi ni Zakarius.

Damn this man. Walang preno ang bibig niya.

“Pero wala lang ang panlabas na anyo, mas mahalaga pa rin ang ganda na nasa loob… kung sinabi ng crush mo na ayaw niya sa ’yo dahil pangit ka, then he’s not worthy of your affection. Nakupas ang ganda, kung maganda ka nga at nagustuhan ka niya dahil do’n, paano na lang kapag hindi ka na maganda? Edi hindi ka na niya gusto?” mahabang paliwanag ni Zakarius saka inayos ang buhok ng batang babaeng katabi niya.

Hindi ko namalayan na nakangiti na pala ako habang nakatitig sa kanya. Kung ganyan ang mindset niya, ibig sabihin lang niyan hindi niya ako minahal dahil sa hitsura ko.

Bakit nga ba mahal niya ako? I may be beautiful but I’m a bitch, hindi naman maganda ang kalooban ko.

“Ate ganda!”

Natigilan ako nang tawagin ako ni Toto na palagi kong kausap kapag naglalakad-lakad ako rito sa dalampasigan. Napatingin si Zak sa akin. I just cleared my throat and calmed my nerves, damn him and his effect on me.

Tumakbo si Toto papalapit sa akin at hinila ako palalapit sa kanila na nakapalibot kay Zak. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin kay Zakarius at umupo na lang din sa buhanginan.

“Hello,” I greeted and smiled at them.

“Hello po, Ate Angel!” nakangiting bati ng mga bata sa akin.

“Ate, sino po ang mas pogi para po sa inyo? Si Kuya Castor po o si Kuya Zak?”

Natigilan ako at napakurap sa tanong ng batang babaeng katabi ni Zak. Napakamot na lang ako sa batok ko at alanganing ngumiti sa kanila.

Inutusan ba sila ni Zak na itanong ’to sa ’kin?

“Ahm, parehas silang pangit,” natatawang sabi ko na lang saka napakamot sa kilay ko.

“Kuya Zak, ang ganda po nitong tatu mo, ahas. Paglaki ko magpapa-ganyan din ako!” sabi ni Toto at hinawakan ang snake tattoo ni Zakarius sa tagiliran.

Damn, I want to touch it too.

“Masakit magpalagay ng ganito,” tila nananakot na sabi ni Zak. Napangiwi na lang si Toto saka napanguso.

“Toto! Nene! Halika na kayo rito!”

Agad na napatayo ang magkapatid na sina Toto at Nene nang tawagin sila ng nanay nila. Nagtayuan na rin ang ibang mga bata at sumunod sa kanila.

“Bye po, Ate Angel, Kuya Zak!”

Napangiti na lang ako at kumaway sa mga bata, si Zakarius naman ay nakatingin lang sa kanila at ni hindi man lang ngumiti.

Kami na lang ang naiwan ni Zak dito. The atmosphere became awkward, should I just stand up and walk away from him without saying anything?

Or should I just ask him about what he said to Cadence last night? That he waited for almost a decade for me.

“Where’s Cadence?” I asked and scratched my arm.

Gusto kong batukan ang sarili ko, hindi iyon ang gusto kong itanong pero iyon ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

“Why are you looking for him?” nakakunot-noong tanong niya.

I smirked and raised my eyebrow.

“Why? Are you jealous ba?” ganting tanong ko.

“Oo,” agad na sagot niya.

Ako naman ang natigilan sa sinabi niya. My heart skipped a beat and my pulse raced. I bit my bottom lip and looked at his emotionless face, walang bahid ng pagbibiro do’n… sabagay, palagi namang walang emosyon ang mukha niya.

Natigilan ako nang mas lumapit pa sa ’kin si Zak. Marahan niyang hinawakan ang pinky finger ko, he played with my pinky finger. He stared at my hand. Isa isa niyang pinaglaruan ang mga daliri ko bago tuluyang hinawakan ang kamay ko.

He intertwined our fingers and looked at our hands. He looked at me and gave me a small smile. My heart almost fell because of his cute smile. I took a deep breath and fought myself from pulling him into a tight hug.

How did he manage to be cute, handsome, and hot at the same time? Is that even possible?

“Even our hands fits perfectly to each other,” Zakarius murmured and pulled me closer to him.

He hugged my waist and buried his face on my neck. I gasped in shock as my heart starts thumping wildly. Nag-init ang magkabilang pisngi ko dahil sa ginawa niya. Wala namang masyadong tao rito pero nahihiya pa rin ako, hindi ko rin maintindihan ang sarili ko kung bakit hindi ko siya maitulak.

“Finally,” he whispered and inhaled the scent of my neck. I gulped and clutched the hem of my dress tightly.

Hinayaan ko na lang siya na yakapin ako. I can’t push him away, maybe because I want his hug too. I missed the warmth of his muscular body… I missed his warmth so much.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal nakaupo rito sa buhanginan habang nakayakap siya sa ’kin. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at nanginginig ang mga kamay na niyakap siya pabalik.

My shaking hands held his hard waist,  halatang natigilan siya sa ginawa ko ngunit hindi pa rin kumalas sa pagkakayakap sa akin.

“Can we have a date? I’ll prepare something for you tonight, is it okay?” he mumbled against my neck.

I sighed and nodded. He gently stroke my long hair and kissed my neck softly. Nagtayuan ang mga balahibo ko sa ginawa niya ngunit hindi na lang ako nagsalita.

“Ngayong gabi mo na rin ipaliwanag ang lahat… lahat, Zakarius. Wala kang iiwanang detalye, lahat sasabihin mo sa ’kin, doon nakasalalay kung bibigyan pa kita ng chance o hindi.”

Inalis nk Zakarius ang pagkakasubsob sa leeg ko at tumingin nang diretso sa mga mata ko. I avoided his gaze but he immediately held my chin gently and made me face him. He gave me a small smile.

“Really? You finally want to hear my explanation?” he asked, his blue eyes are full of hope, which is unusual. Madalas kasi talaga ay wala siyang emosyon.

“Oo nga, paulit-ulit,” masungit na sabi ko saka inismiran siya.

Nakangiti pa rin si Zakarius. Inilapit niya ang mukha sa ’kin saka ninakawan ako nang magaan na halik sa labi. Napasinghap ako sa ginawa niya at hinampas ang dibdib niya.

“You! Stop kissing me! Nawiwili ka na kakahalik sa akin,” nakakunot-noong sabi ko saka muling hinampas ang dibdib niya.

Hinila na lang niya ako at muling niyakap. Napairap na lang ako pero niyakap ko rin siya pabalik.

Okay, fine. I’m so marupok , I know.

---

“I’m beautiful, yes,” I murmured while looking at myself in the mirror.

I’m just wearing a cute floral pink dress, I don’t have any make up on my face, simula nang dalhin ako rito ni Castor, hindi na ako nagme-make up. I paired my dress with a flowery headband, bigay sa ’kin ng batang di Nene ang headband na ’to, I’ll definitely gonna treasure this forever.

Lumabas na ako ng kuwarto ko, naabutan ko si Castor na nakatayo sa tapat ng pinto ko. He smiled at me and tapped my shoulder.

“Always choose what will make you happy, pain is part of the process. Hear his side and try to forgive him, that will make you feel better,” Castor said and pinched my chin gently. I smiled at him and avoided his gaze.

“Thank you so much, Castor. I’m sorry… sorry kung sa akin ka pa nagkagusto. Na-appreciate ko talaga ang lahat ng ginawa mo para sa ’kin, I don’t know how to repay you anymore,” I murmured bit my bottom lip. I’m so embarrased with myself.

“Si Angel Mendoza ka pa ba? Naninibago ako ah,” tila nanunuksong sabi niya saka mahinang natawa. Tiningnan ko na lang siya nang masama saka inismiran.

“Castor.”

“Joke lang, ayos lang naman sa ’kin, Angel. Ipapaalala ko lang sa ’yo na ginawa ko ang lahat ng ’yon ayon sa sarili kong kagustuhan, hindi mo ako pinilit o anuman. H’wag kang humingi ng sorry sa ’kin, alam ko naman noong una pa lang na hanggang kaibigan lang talaga. Gusto lang talaga kitang tulungan. Oh siya, lumabas ka na, nakahanda na yung candlelight dinner na inihanda ni direk,” natatawang sabi niya saka inipit ang ilang hibla ng buhok sa tainga ko. Napangiti na lang ako at tumango.

Lumabas na ako ng rest house. Natanaw ko si Zakarius mula sa di kalayuan, sa tabi ng dagat. Castor is right, it’s really a candlelight dinner. It suited the cold night and the dark sky, I didn’t know that Zakarius can be this romantic.

Agad na tumayo si Zakarius nang mapalingon sa akin. Agad siyang tumakbo papalapit sa ’kin, napatikhim na lang ako at pasimpleng inayos ang dress at buhok ko.

Napangiti si Zakarius nang nasa tapat ko na siya. Napapansin ko na napapadalas ang pagngiti niya, parang palaging may nagwawala sa sistema ko kapag nangiti siya. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba napaka-dalang niya ngumiti o baka dahil mahal ko lang talaga siya.

“You’re so beautiful, my Angel,” he murmured and slowly held my hands. He intertwined our fingers and gently caressed my cheek. I avoided his gaze and cleared my throat.

“I’m always beautiful, but thanks,” sabi ko na lang.

Iginiya niya ako papunta sa dalampasigan. Pinigilan kong matawa dahil may pa-retractable tent pa talaga siya.

He guided me to my seat, I bit my lower lip to restrain myself from smiling, what a gentleman.

Maraming fruits and vegetables na nakahain sa table, may seafood din at meat, malamang para sa kanya iyon. Natatawang napailing na lang ako.

Maganda ang pagkaka-set up ng table, maganda rin ang disenyo, kulay pula at may mga rose pa talaga sa paligid ng candles. Ito pala ang pinagkakaabalahan niya kanina pa, ilang beses ko siyang sinilip mula sa bintana ng kuwarto ko.

“Ma’am and Sir, do you want some good music?”

Natigilan kaming pareho ni Zak at napatingin kay Cadence, may hawak itong violin. Natigilan ako nang magsimula na siyang magpatugtog sa violin niya. Napatakip ako sa tainga ko dahil parang iniipit na yero ang tunog no’n.

“Fucking stop that, Cadence! Leave us alone,” nakakunot-noong sabi ni Zakarius. Napasimangot naman si Cadence at napasapo pa sa dibdib niya.

“Sakit naman, boss Zakarius. Pero sige, bye na, pakasaya kayo, salamat na lang sa lahat,” tila nag-iinarteng sabi ni Cadence at iniwan na kami. Natatawang napailing na lang ako sa mga kalokohan niya.

“What do you wanna eat? Banana?” Zakarius asked and grinned. Inilapit niya sa plato ang saging. Inirapan ko na lang siya at sinipa ang binti niya sa ilalim ng table.

Nagsimula na kaming kumain, tahimik lang kaming pareho. Ipinagbabalat naman ako ng seafood ni Zak at ipinaghihiwa ng meat, halos hindi na siya kumain kaka-silbi sa akin. I feel like a queen, his queen .

Gusto kong i-open ang topic tungkol sa paliwanag niya, but I don’t want to initiate, gusto ko na siya mismo ang magsalita.

Natigilan ako nang tumayo si Zak at kinuha ang upuan niya. Napakurap na lang ako nang itabi niya sa akin ang upuan niya saka umupo sa tabi ko.

Natigilan ako sa pagkain ng strawberries. Napatingin ako sa kanya, nakatitig lang siya sa ’kin, bawat galaw yata ng mukha ko ay pinanonood niya.

Natigilan ako nang hawakan niya ang isang kamay ko na nakalapat sa legs ko. He held my pinky finger and played with it while staring at me. Buti na lang at madilim na ngayon dahil pakiramdam ko pulang pula na ang mukha ko ngayon. Halos sasabog na yata ang puso ko sa lakas ng tibok no’n.

“Where is Cathy now?”

Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. My eyes grew wider and my lips parted in shock because of his question.

“Y-you remember Cathy?” I asked in disbelief.

“How can I forget her? She’s our cat,” he murmured and touched my long hair and gently stroked it.

Naaalala niya si Cathy, ang pusa sa rooftop noon sa abandonadong building kung saan kami nagkikita gabi-gabi. Naalala ko na kinuha ko ang pusang ’yon at pinaalagaan sa pinsan ko na mahilig sa mga pusa dahil allergic si Mommy sa balahibo ng pusa.

“She died four years ago due to an illness,” I murmured and bit my lower lip. Hanggang ngayon nasasaktan pa rin ako sa pagkamatay ni Cathy.

Zakarius sighed and intertwined our fingers. He’s still staring at me as if his world revolves around me, his blue eyes are full of emotion I couldn’t describe.

“Mahal na kita simula pa no’ng una kitang nakita sa rooftop na ’yon, Angel. I know you won’t believe me, but I’ll still tell you that I love you so much more than anything.” He sighed and licked his lower lip. “Gusto rin ako ni Jaze noon pa. I don’t know why did she like me, I don’t even talk to her, I rejected her so many times I lost count… And then I discovered that she’s your close friend. I told her that  I love you, and I won’t love anyone else but you. She got furious, she even tried to end her own life. I thought everything’s finally okay because she didn’t bother me for days… But… but she saw me, I killed a fucktard and she saw that. Sinabi niya sa akin na sasabihin niya sa ’yo ang tungkol do’n, she also told me that you hate criminal people like me. I know I was coward, but I don’t want you to know that I kill people that time. Cadence suggested that I can just kill Jaze, but I can’t do that, I don’t kill innocent people and besides, she’s your close friend. Jaze always tells me how you hate killers, how you hate thieves, how you hate criminals, I’m just scared. Sa unang pagkakataon sa buhay ko, natakot ako. Natakot ako sa iisipin mo tungkol sa ’kin. I don’t want you to hate me, that will be my nightmare. So I didn’t have any choice, I stayed away from you. I also thought that we will never be together for my world revolves around darkness, you don’t belong to my world… Kaliwa’t kanan din ang mga nagtatangkang pumatay sa ’kin, ayaw ko na mapahamak ka.”

Napakapit ako nang mahigpit sa dress ko nang marinig ang paliwanag niya. Bumibigat ang dibdib ko, nanginginig din ang mga kamay ko.

“Why am I pursuing you now? Because I can’t take it anymore, Angel. Those years were like torture, I want to hug you, kiss you, and tell you how much I love you but I can’t. But you know, I won’t force myself to you. If you don’t want to be with me, that’s understandable. I’m living in a chaotic world, my whole existence itself is in turmoil. It’s just… I want to be honest with myself, kahit ngayon lang. I will respect your decision whether you want to be with me or not. Kahit ano pa man, mamahalin pa rin naman kita… Hindi pa rin naman mawawala ang pagmamahal ko sa ’yo. ” he murmured and let go of my hand.

Halatang natigilan siya nang agad kong habulin ang kamay niya at hinawakan ’yon. Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata niya. Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko, malamang naramdaman niya na nanginginig ang mga kamay ko ngayon.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ba’ng dapat kong maramdaman, halo halo ang pakiramdam sa sistema ko… Pagkagulat, panghihinayang, lungkot . Hindi ko alam kung bakit.

“H-hindi mo ba talaga minahal si Jaze? Sa ilang taon niyong magkasama, a-ako lang ba talaga ang mahal mo? Ako lang talaga?”

Tuluyang nabasag ang boses ko, hindi ko alam kung bakit ako naluluha. Muli akong napakagat sa ibabang labi ko nang manlabo ang paningin ko dahil sa mga luhang namumuo sa mga mata ko.

Sampung taon… Halos sampung taon niyang pinigilan ang sarili na mahalin ako, malamang sobrang hirap no’n para sa kanya.

Zakarius smiled at me and gently caressed my cheek. Inilapit niya ang mukha sa akin, I closed my eyes when I felt his gentle kiss on my forehead. Pagkahalik sa noo ko ay muli naman siyang tumitig sa mga mata ko. My whole body shivered because of his stare, it’s full of emotion, affection, love.

“Ikaw lang, walang iba, Angel…” He held my arm and rubbed it gently using his thumb, it feels comforting.

“…my heart belongs to you, only to you, Angelica.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“Good morning, Ms. Mendoza! Kayo na ba Boss Zakarius mapagmahal?”

Napairap na lang ako sa bungad ni Cadence sa akin paglabas ko ng kuwarto. Prente siyang nakaupo sa may kusina habang nakain, si Castor naman ang nagluluto.

“Castor, bilisan mo naman, ’tol. Mauubos na ’tong kinakain ko, e,” napapailing na reklamo ni Cadence.

Castor glared at him. I just shook my head and sat beside Cadence. Napakamot ako sa batok ko at pasimpleng hinanap si Zakarius sa paligid.

“Sus, nahiya pa, magtanong ka na lang kasi. Nandoon si Zak sa labas, kausap na naman yung mga bata. Nagpapahiwatig yata siya, baka gusto na niya ng baby,” tila nanunuksong sabi ni Cadence at bahagya pang sinundot ang tagiliran ko.

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya, maski si Castor ay halatang natigilan din. Napatikhim na lang ako at inismiran siya.

“Kung ano-anong sinasabi mo riyan, hindi niya gusto ng baby!” sikmat ko na lang saka inirapan siya.

“Edi don’t,” bulong pa ni Cadence na narinig ko naman. Napailing na lang ako at hindi na nagsalita pa.

Tumayo ako at kumuha na lang ng baso para uminom ng tubig, pagkagamit no’n, agad ko ’yong hinugasan. Mamaya na ako kakain, pupuntahan ko muna si Zakarius sa labas.

“Labas lang ako,” pagpapaalam ko sa kanila. Akmang aalis na ako nang magsalita si Cadence.

“Aw, pupuntahan mo si Zak ’no? Wala ka na talagang pag-asa, Castor. Pero h’wag kang mag-alala, marami akong p’wedeng i-reto sa ’yo, saka ’di naman kawalan ’yang si Angel,” napapailing na sabi ni Cadence. Inirapan ko na lang siya saka agad na lumabas.

A smiled formed on my lips when I saw Zakarius playing with the kids again. They are building a sand castle, he’s not smiling but I can see that he’s enjoying his time with the kids. Damn this man, he’s making me fall for him more.

Naglakad ako papalapit sa kanila. Zakarius is not wearing a shirt again, he’s just wearning a board shorts, his muscular body is exposed again. Buti na lang at walang gaanong tao rito.

“Kuya Zak! Pumapasok ka po ba sa school?” tanong ni Toto saka dumakot ng buhangin.

“Hindi na, tapos na akong mag-aral kaya nagta-trabaho na ’ko,” sagot naman ni Zakarius.

I’m just a few meters away from them so I can clearly hear them. Zakarius is too distracted building the sand castle that’s why he didn’t notice me. I just crossed my arms over my chest and quietly watched them.

“Wow! Masaya po ba sa school? Gusto po naming pumasok sa school kaso walang pera sina Nanay. Kulang palagi ang kinikita nila sa palengke, pero naiintindihan naman po namin,” sabi ng isang batang lalaki na katabi rin ni Zak.

Tila kumirot ang dibdib ko sa sinabi ng bata. Hindi ko alam na hindi pala sila nakakapag-aral, akala ko bakasyon lang talaga nila ngayon.

“Gusto niyo bang pag-aralin ko kayo?” tanong ni Zak saka tumigil sa pag-aayos ng sand castle at tumingin sa mga bata.

Napasinghap sina Toto sa sinabi ni Zak, maski ako ay natigilan din. Hindi ko inaasahan na sasabihin niya ’yon.

“Libre po, Kuya Zak?” tila hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Toto. Tumango naman si Zakarius saka muling ibinaling ang atensyon sa sand castle.

I unconsciously smiled while staring at him. I bit the insides of my cheeks and shook my head. Hanggang ngayon naso-sorpresa pa rin ako sa mga natutuklasan ko tungkol kay Zakarius.

“Ate ganda!”

Natigilan ako nang lumapit sa ’kin si Toto at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Hinila niya ako palalapit sa kanila. Napangiti na lang ako at nagpatianod sa kanya.

Napatingin sa ’kin si Zak, napangiti siya nang makita ako. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa kanya dahil tila may naghu-huramentado na naman ang puso ko dahil sa ngiti niyang ’yon.

“Ate, sabi po ni Kuya Zak, ililibre niya raw po kami sa pang-school namin!” tila tuwang tuwa na sabi ni Toto at napalundag pa. Napangiti na lang ako at bahagyang ginulo ang buhok niya.

“Ililibre ko rin kayo,” sabi ko saka marahang kinurot ang pisngi ni Toto.

“Wow, ang bait mo po, Ate Angel. Bagay talaga kayo ni Kuya Zak. Mag-asawa po ba kayo?” tanong naman ni Nene.

“Hin–” agad na pinutol ni Zak ang sasabihin ko.

“Oo, mag-asawa kami.”

I glared at him and punched his arm. Zakarius just bit his lower lip, restraining himself from smiling. I just scoffed and rolled my eyes at him.

Ang kapal talaga ng mukha.

“Sabi na nga ba mag-asawa po kayo, e, kasi po ang sweet sweet niyo po, yieee!” panunukso pa ng mga bata. Napailing na lang ako.

Patuloy ang panunukso ng mga bata sa amin habang tumutulong ako sa pagtayo ng sand castle, pero nakagulo lang yata ako dahil nasira naman ’yon. Himdi naman nagalit sina Zakarius at hindi na lang ulit itinayo ang sand castle.

“Let’s get inside, Angel, it’s getting hot here. Baka mainitan ka,” Zakarius said and helped me stand up. Medyo umiinit na nga.

He held my hand and intertwined our fingers. I just remained quiet and let him hold my hand, nakakapagod din pala ang mag-inarte.

Pagpasok namin sa rest house, wala na sina Cadence at Castor. Tila natuwa naman si Zakarius nang makitang wala sila at agad akong niyakap. Napairap na lang ako sa ginawa niya ngunit hindi ko rin naman siya pinigilan.

Isinubsob niya ang mukha sa leeg ko at dinampian ng maliliit na halik iyon. Napayakap na lang ako sa batok niya, mas hinila naman niya ang baywang ko papalapit sa kanya.

Buti na lang at maliit pa ang tiyan ko.

I honestly don’t know when I will be able to tell him about my pregnancy, I’m not yet ready, hanggang ngayon nga ay hindi pa rin ako sigurado kung tatanggapin ko siya nang buo sa buhay ko, natatakot pa rin ako… What if he’s just lying to me? What if he doesn’t really love me and just playing with my heart? I still have doubts… ayaw kong masaktan lang sa huli.

“I love you.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Kumalas siya sa pagkakayakap sa ’kin saka tumitig sa akin. Hinawakan niya ang pisngi ko at marahang hinaplos iyon. I gulped and bit my lower lip, he’s not doing anything yet but my system’s already in ruckus. Palagi niya talagang nagagawang guluhin ang sistema ko sa mga simpleng gestures niya.

He took a deep breath and smiled at me. Natigilan na lang ako nang walang pasabi niyang dinampian ng halik ang labi ko. Napakurap na lang ako habang nakatitig pa rin sa kanya.

“You’re so cute,” he murmured and pinched both of my cheeks. “Squishy squishy.”

Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko nang sabihin niya iyon. I think his squishy squishy is my number one weakness. His manly voice contradicts the cute squishy squishy sound but damn, he’s still cute as hell.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked and hugged my waist.

Hindi naman agad ako nakasagot at nanatiling nakatitig sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot ko. He already kissed me!

I want him to kiss me again but I don’t want to admit it.

“Okay, I’ll just hug you,” he said and pulled me into a not-so-tight hug again. I suppressed myself from complaining and just let him hug me. Damn this man, hinalikan na nga niya ako kanina, e. Sinasadya niya yatang i-frustrate ako!

Zakarius chuckled sexily and stared at my face, he caressed my bottom lip and gave me a small smile.

“I’m just kidding, my Angel. Galit ka kaagad,” sabi niya saka marahang dinampian ng halik ang labi ko.

Inilayo niya nang kaunti ang mukha sa ’kin saka muling tumitig sa kabuuan ng mukha ko. Muli niyang siniil ng halik ang labi ko. Wala naman akong nagawa kundi ang pumikit at tugunin ang halik niya.

“Wow, talaga naman. Sana hindi na lang ako bumalik kung ito lang din naman ang maaabutan ko.”

Agad kong itinulak si Zak nang marinig ko ang boses ni Cadence. Napatingin ako sa kanya, siya lang mag-isa, hindi niya kasama si Castor pero nahihiya pa rin ako. Bakit ko ba nalimutan na hindi lang kami ang tao rito?

“Respeto naman sa mga single, Boss Zakarius,” Cadence dramatically said and clasped his chest. I just rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

“You have a girlfriend, Cadence,” Zakarius said in a cold tone.

Napataas ang kilay ko sa sinabi niya. May girlfriend pala ang Cadence na ’to? May nagkamali palang pumatol sa kanya.

“Hay, thank you at pinaalala mo, muntik ko ng malimutan,” napapailing na sabi ni Cadence saka kinuha ang phone mula sa bulsa ng board short na suot niya. “Iwan ko muna kayo riyan, tawagan ko lang yung bebe ko,” nakangising sabi ni Cadence saka agad ding lumabas.

Napatingin ako kay Zakarius, ngumiti lang siya saka muling lumapit sa ’kin at niyakap ako. Hindi na lang ako tumutol at hinayaan siya.

Fine, medyo gusto ko rin naman, e.

---

“Why are you still awake?”

I looked at Castor, he sat on the bench beside me. Inabutan niya ako ng baso na may tubig, kinuha ko iyon saka tipid na ngumiti sa kanya. Uminom ako ng tubig saka inilapag ang baso sa tabi ko.

“Can’t sleep,” I murmured and looked at the night sky.

“Hindi ka dapat nagpupuyat, makakasama sa baby mo ’yan,” tila nag-aalalang sabi ni Castor.

“Matutulog na rin ako maya-maya,” sabi ko na lang saka napabuntong-hininga.

“Lalim no’n ha, ano ba’ng iniisip mo?” tanong niya saka bahagyang ginulo ang buhok ko.

“Some things, uncertainties, doubts… I’m still unsure, Castor,” I murmured and gently rubbed my stomach.

“Why? You’re still unsure about Zakarius?” he asked. I just sighed and nodded. “Why? He seems sincere, I mean, the way he looks at you, there’s no doubt that he loves you more than I do.” He chuckled.

“I can’t help it, Castor. Paano kung saktan na naman niya ako? Paano kung iwanan na naman niya ako sa ere? Paano kung ma-realize niya na si Jaze pala talaga ang mahal niya. He told me that he never felt something about Jaze. But I think it’s impossible, they’d been together for years, imposibleng hindi niya minahal o nagustuhan man lang si Jaze. My friend is a beautiful, sweet, and caring woman, she has lots of suitors lining up over her. Imposibleng hindi siya nagustuhan ni Zak… Me? I’m just a spoiled brat bitch with lots of dating scandals and a bad image. Paano niya nagawang mahalin ang tulad ko when it’s obvious that Jaze is more lovable than I am? Don’t you find it suspicious?” I asked and looked at him.

Castor just shook his head and scratched his eyebrow. He’s not saying it but I can see in his eyes the disagreement with I just said. Why is he suddenly siding with Zakarius?

“I understand that you can’t trust him now, but I think there’s nothing suspicious about him loving you and not your friend. You always see yourself as a bitch, but you’re actually not… But anyway, everything is up to you. Hindi ko pakikialaman ang mga plano mo, what’s your plan anyway? Tutuloy ka pa rin ba sa plano mo?”

Napatango na lang ako at napayakap sa sarili ko.

“Hmm, after paying for the breach of contract for my projects, tutuloy ako sa New Zealand… with my baby,” bulong ko sa huling sinabi ko saka muling napahawak sa tiyan ko.

“How about Director Cavalcante? Ano ang plano mo tungkol sa kanya?” tanong pa ni Castor. I sighed and shrugged.

“I don’t know. Siguro aalis na lang ako nang hindi nagpapaalam sa kanya. I know he’s not serious about his feelings for me. I don’t know what his agenda is, but I’m sure he doesn’t love me kagaya ng sinabi niya. I won’t let myself be fooled again, he’s just playing with me,” I mumbled and played with my fingers. Castor just smiled and nodded.

“Can I come with you?” tila nagbibirong tanong niya.

“Sinabihan na kita tungkol diyan diba? Pero kung mapilit ka, ikaw ang bahala,” sabi ko na lang saka pinaningkitan siya ng mga mata.

I sighed and stood up, I caressed my tummy and gently tapped it. Time to sleep.

“Sige, papasok na ako sa loob, Castor,” pagpapaalam ko sa kanya. Ngumiti na lang siya saka tumango.

Natigilan ako nang akmang papasok na ako sa loob ng rest house. Tila natulos ako sa kinatatayuan ko nang makita si Zakarius na nakatayo mula sa di kalayuan habang nakatingin sa direksyon namin ni Castor.

I can see the pain in his blue eyes, he turned his gaze away from me. He’s holding a glass with milk in it. Siguro ay ibibigay niya dapat iyon sa akin dahil palagi akong nainom ng gatas.

“Zakarius,” mahinang anas ko.

Narinig niya ba ang lahat ng pinag-usapan namin ni Castor? Pati ba ang tungkol sa baby?

“I’m sorry, I’ll go ahead,” he murmured and turned his back on me.

Tila may kung anong dumagan sa dibdib ko nang bitiwan niya ang baso sa buhanginan, tumapon ang gatas doon. Mabilis siyang naglakad papalayo sa amin. Marahil pupunta siya sa katabing rest house na tinutulugan nila ni Cadence.

“What will you do now, Angel? Mukhang nasaktan siya,” sabi ni Castor habang hinahabol din ng tingin si Zakarius.

Napabuntong hininga ako at dali daling sinundan si Zak. Masyadong mabilis ang paglalakad niya ngunit pinilit ko pa rin na makahabol sa kanya.

Tama ang hinala ko na pupunta siya sa katabing rest house na tinutuluyan nila ni Cadence ngayon.

“Zak! Sandali!” I called him but he didn’t stop walking. Nagtungo siya sa isang kuwarto, agad ko naman siyang sinundan.

“Zakarius, listen to me!” I shouted. Hindi niya ako pinansin at kinuha ang bag sa ilalim ng kama. My lips parted when he left the room, dire-diretso siyang lumabas ng silid.

Aalis na ba siya?

My heart throbbed, hindi ko alam kung bakit natakot ako sa katotohanan na aalis siya kahit may plano naman akong iwanan siya.

Naguguluhan na rin ako sa sarili ko.

“Zakarius fucking Cavalcante! I said listen to me!”

Agad ko siyang hinabol at hinawakan ang braso niya, huminga siya nang malalim at nanatiling hindi humaharap sa akin.

It seems like he didn’t hear about my baby part, kung narinig niya iyon, hindi siya aalis.

“Look at me, Zak, please,” I mumbled. Bumaba sa kamay niya ang hawak ko, I intertwined our fingers and pulled him closer to me, pero hindi niya pa rin ako hinarap, nanatili siyang nakatalikod sa direksyon ko. I sighed and bit my lower lip.

Mukhang nasaktan nga siya sa mga narinig niya.

“Zak, I’m sorry, please kausapin mo naman ako.”

Fine, I gave up. I really love him, I can’t live without him, I want to be with him.

“I told you that I won’t force myself to you if you don’t want me in your life. You should’ve just tell straight to my face that you don’t want me in your life, hindi ko naman ipipilit ang sarili ko. I’ll respect your decision no matter how painful it will be for me.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko nakikita ang mukha niya dahil hindi pa rin niya ako hinaharap pero ramdam na ramdam ko na ang lungkot sa tono ng boses niya.

Maybe he really loves me.

“Siguro hindi mo lang maamin nang diretso sa ’kin na ayaw mo. It’s okay, I’ll leave on my own. Maybe I’m making it harder for you. I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He tried to remove his hand from my grip but I gripped it tighter.

“Look at me, Zak.”

Hinila ko ang kamay niya at pinaharap siya sa akin. Natigilan ako nang makitang bahagyang namumula ang magkabilang pisngi niya lalo na ang matangos niyang ilong. Hindi rin nakawala sa paningin ko ang nagbabadyang luha mula sa mga mata niya kahit pa agad niyang iniwas ang tingin sa akin.

Damn, Zakarius and his soft side. I’m falling for him more.

“I love you too, Zak.”

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. His hooded eyes widened and his sexy lips parted. Namumula pa rin ang ilong niya, which I find cute.

Natigilan ako dahil nakatulala lang siya sa akin, he’s not saying anything, he’s not even moving na para bang nakakita siya ng multo. What the hell is wrong with him?

“I’m sorry about what you heard earlier. To be honest, I’m still not sure about this, I’m still scared… But I really love you, mahal na rin kita noon pa. I thought my love for you will be gone as time goes by, but it didn’t. Mahal din kita, Zak. Bahala na, bahala na kung ano’ng mangyayari… Basta mahal din kita, don’t leave me, please. I love you too.”

Zakarius licked his bottom lip amd turned his gaze away from me. A smile formed on my lips when he finally teared up. He sniffed and wiped his tears.

What a cutie.

“Damn, why am I like this?” he mumbled. “You’re turned off now, aren’t you? Maybe you don’t love me now because I’m a crybaby… Damn, I’m not like this before,” he murmured while still wiping his tears. I chuckled and hugged his waist. I tiptoed and kissed his soft lips gently. Halatang natigilan siya sa ginawa ko.

“No, it didn’t turn me off, it just made me love you more,” I said and smiled at him.

Bahala na. Basta, I love him. I love my squishy squishy, bahala na kung masaktan man, bahala na sa kalalabasan. My love for him won over my mind.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I moaned when I felt Zakarius’ strong arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I opened my eyes and looked at his handome sleeping face. I giggled and gently pinched his pointed nose.

“Hmm,” he groaned as his nose wrinkled. Ang tulog-mantika talaga niya.

“My love,” I murmured and traced his sharp jaw with my index finger. Tila hindi naman siya natinag at tuloy pa rin sa pagtulog. Napasimangot na lang ako at yumakap sa batok niya. Kailan ba siya magigising? Umaga na.

Wala kaming ginawa kagabi kundi nag magyakapan. Hinayaan ko na lang siya dahil na-miss niya raw ang cuddle moment naming dalawa. Hanggang sa makatulog kaming pareho, nakayakap pa rin siya sa akin. Himala at hindi siya nag-sleepwalk.

“What are you doing? Admiring my face?” he asked in a sexy, and husky voice. He slowly opened his eyes. My heart thumped when our eyes met, his blue eyes are so beautiful. Hindi yata ako magsasawang titigan ang mga ’yon.

“Pinapahid ko lang ang panis na laway mo,” nakakunot-noong palusot ko saka bahagya siyang itinulak palayo.

He let out a manly chuckle and pulled me closer to him again. Inilapit niya ang ilong sa buhok ko saka inamoy ’yon. Nag-alala ako nang kaunti dahil baka hindi maganda ang amoy no’n.

Whatever, palagi naman akong mabango, kahit three days yata akong hindi maligo, mabango pa rin ako.

Inilayo na niya ang mukha sa buhok ko at nakangiting tinitigan ang mukha ko. I just wish I don’t have panis na laway or muta on my face.

“Are you my girlfriend now?” nakangiting tanong ni Zakarius at tila kinikilig pa dahil kagat kagat niya ang ibabang labi niya. Pinaningkitan ko na lang siya ng mga mata saka mahinang sinampal ang pisngi niya.

“Asa you,” nakataas kilay na sabi ko na lang.

“But you love me too,” he murmured and pinched my cheek. “Squish,” he mumbled.

Ano ba ang meron sa squish squishy na iyan? But fine, he’s cute naman, e.

“I said I love you too, but I didn’t say na tayo na,” pag-iinarte ko pa.

I just want to tease him. But damn this man, mukhang hindi man lang siya napikon. Nakangiti pa rin siya habang nakahawak sa pisngi ko at marahang kinukurot ’yon.

Hindi na lang siya nagsalita at mas hinigpitan ang yakap sa akin, hindi naman gaanong kahigpit, tama lang. I buried my face on his chest and inhaled his manly scent.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked and gently caressed my back.

Inalis ko ang pagkakasubsob sa dibdib niya saka tiningnan siya nang masama.

“Ang harot mo,” sabi ko na lang at inirapan siya.

“Sa ’yo lang,” he said and bit his lower lip. Naningkit ang mga mata ko.

“Si Cadence ba ang nagturo sa ’yo niyan?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko. Napakamot na lang siya sa kilay niya.

“How did you know?” he asked and gave me an awkward smile.

“Ako pa ba? Ganyan mga salitaan ni Cadence, e.”

Hindi na lang siya nagsalita at hinaplos na lang ang mahabang buhok ko. Marahan niyang sinuklay iyon gamit ang mga daliri niya. I closed my eyes and let him do that, I found it so comforting.

“Ang baho mo na.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Agad ko siyang tiningnan nang masama saka bahagya siyang itinulak palayo.

“Let’s take a shower together,” nakangising sabi niya saka dahan-dahang ipinasok ang kamay niya sa loob ng damit ko. Tinampal ko kaagad ang kamay niya.

“Tumigil ka,” pananaway ko sa kanya.

Inalis ko ang pagkakayakap niya sa baywang ko at agad na bumangon sa kama. Binalingan ko siya ng tingin, bahagya siyang nakasimangot habang nakatingin sa akin.

“You, take a shower here… I’ll take a shower at Castor’s rest house. Nandoon din ang mga damit ko,” sabi ko na lang saka agad na lumabas ng room niya.

Parang ewan na napangiti na lang ako nang makalabas ng rest house, parang nahihiya na tuloy akong bumalik sa rest house ni Castor. Malamang nahalata niyang hindi ako umuwi kagabi, nakakahiya at baka kung ano pa ang isipin niya.

Natigilan ako nang imbis na si Castor, si Cadence ang naabutan ko sa rest house. Napataas na lang ang kilay ko, hanggang ngayon pala ay hindi pa siya naalis.

He’s sitting on the couch like a boss while drinking coffee. Mukha ring kakaligo niya lang. Akala ko pa naman ay aalis na siya.

“Good morning, Ms. Mendoza. Ang ganda yata ng gising mo ah. Dito na ako natulog, e. Ako na ang nag-adjust, hindi ko na kayo ginulo sa moment niyo. Ano? Kayo na ba? Ano’ng pinag-usapan niyo kagabi?” sunod-sunod na tanong ni Cadence.

Inismiran ko na lang siya at nagtungo sa kuwarto ko para kumuha ng damit. Agad din akong lumabas ng kuwarto at nagtungo sa banyo para maligo.

Para akong ewan na napapangiti habang naliligo. Para akong teenager na kinikilig kapag naiisip ko si Zak. Nakakainis talaga ang lalaking ’yon, sa kanya lang talaga ako kinikilig nang ganito.

Nakangiti pa rin ako nang matapos akong magbihis at makalabas ng banyo. Nasa living room pa rin si Cadence at patawa-tawa pa habang nanonood ng TV. Napaismid na lang ako at umupo sa tabi niya.

Hindi pa ba tapos mag-shower si Zak? Bakit hindi pa siya napunta?

I was taken aback when Cadence took the remote amd turned off the TV. My eyebrow arched when he faced me, seryoso siyang tumingin sa mga mata ko.

“Ano, Angel? Tsismis naman diyan, kayo na ba ni rekdi?” nakangising tanong niya. Napakunot na lang ang noo ko.

“Rekdi?” nagtatakang tanong ko pa. Napailing na lang si Cadence at tila dismayadong nakatingin sa ’kin.

“Hindi mo alam ’yon? Ano ba naman ’yan? Diba palagi kang tambay sa social media bago ka nalaos? Nakaka-disappoint na hindi mo alam ang rekdi,” napapailing na sabi niya. Napahawak pa siya sa sentido niya na tila ba sobrang na-dismaya siya sa akin.

What the hell is rekdi ba kasi?

“Rekdi, kapag binaligtad mo, direk! Tinatanong ko sa ’yo kung kayo na ba ni direk,” paliwanag niya.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at pinigilan ang sarili ko na tadyakan si Cad.

But well, rekdi kinda sounds cute. Rekdi. Ano kayang magiging reaction niya kapag tinawag ko siyang gano’n?

“Angel.”

Natigilan ako at napatingin kay Zak na papalapapit na sa amin. Agad niyang hinablot ang damit ni Cad at hinila si Cadence palayo sa akin saka siya ang umupo sa tabi ko, akala ko ay tatalsik si Cad. Napaawang na lang ang labi ni Cadence sa ginawa niya.

“Wow, ganyan ka pala, Boss Zakarius. Matapos kong i-alay ang buhay ko para lang sagutin ka ni Angel. Nagpakahirap pa akong maging host ng competition niyo ni Castor, tapos ito pa’ng igaganti mo. Salamat na lang sa lahat,” tila nagda-dramang sabi ni Cad at napasapo pa sa dibdib niya.

“Shut up,” sabi na lang ni Zak at hinila ako paupo sa kandungan niya saka yumakap sa baywang ko. Napailing na lang ako pero hindi ko na lang din siya pinigilan.

“Grabe na talaga ’to, makalayas na nga lang, ang sakit niyo sa mata. Maghihiwalay rin kayo, walang forever!”

Hindi na lang namin pinansin si Cadence. Naiinis na lumabas na lang ito ng rest house. Yumakap na lang ako sa batok ni Zak nang isubsob niya ang mukha sa leeg ko saka inamoy iyon.

“Angel,” he murmured and gave my neck a light kiss. My whole body shivered but I remained calm and didn’t let him notice it.

“Hmm?”

“How long are we going to stay here?” he asked and looked into my eyes. I bit my bottom lip and avoided his gaze.

Sa tingin ko dapat ko ng sabihin sa kanya ang isa sa nagpapabagabag sa isip ko kaya hindi ako makaalis dito.

“I’m still scared, Zak. Malamang galit na galit pa rin sa akin ang mga tao, hindi pa ako handang harapin ang galit nila,” bulong ko na lang.

I traced the collar of his shirt using my index finger. Doon ko na lang ibinabaling ang tingin ko para hindi siya mapatingin sa mga mata ko, natatakot ako na baka makita niya ang takot sa mga ’yon.

“I will hold a press conference to clear your name. Nakabasa ako ng ilang comments tungkol sa ’yo. I honestly want to hunt each of them down and make them pay for insulting you,” he said as his forehead furrowed. I just sighed and shook my head. He can’t be serious.

“You don’t have to, sanay na ako sa ganyan,” sabi ko na lang saka marahang hinaplos ang pisngi niya. Nanatili naman siyang nakatitig sa akin.

“No, you don’t deserve to be insulted like that. They have to know that you’re not a boyfriend stealer, sa ’yo na ako noong una pa lang, wala kang inagaw.”

Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti sa sinabi niya. Kinurot ko ang matangos niyang ilong saka dinampian ng halik ang labi niya. Halata namang matigilan siya sa ginawa ko.

“Bukas babalik na tayo sa realidad. Ayaw ko na ring makaabala kay Castor dahil nakakahiya na. Pero sa h’wag mo ng ituloy ang press conference na binabalak mo. I don’t want to hurt Jaze in any way right now. Kahit pa hindi totoo ang naging relasyon niyo, mali pa rin ang ginawa ko, may kasalanan pa rin ako sa kanya. Wala na rin naman akong balak bumalik sa showbiz, hayaan na lang natin, makakalimutan din naman ng mga tao ang tungkol sa akin, e,” sabi ko na lang saka bahagyang ngumiti.

Zakarius remained serious while staring at me, he doesn’t seem to like my request, pero ayaw ko na lang dagdagan ang sama ng loob sa akin ni Jaze. She’s still my friend, naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit niya nagawang sirain ako sa media. Kung tutuusin wala akong karapatang magalit sa kanya.

“I can’t promise that I’ll remain silent forever, Angel. I want to clear your name, I want everyone to know that I’m the one who pushed myself to you. You don’t deserve all the hate that you’re receiving from them,” he murmured and caressed my face. I just smiled at him and held his hand.

“I’m fine, Zak. I can do this, I’m Angel Mendoza, incase you have forgotten.” I chuckled. Zakarius remained serious while staring at me.

“I know you’re a strong woman, Angel, but you have to know that you can always depend on me,” he mumbled and gave my lips a soft kiss. I just smiled and buried my face on his neck, ako naman ngayon.

“I love you,” I whispered against his neck. He sighed and caressed my back gently, tracing my backbone with his gentle hand.

“I love you more, my Angel,” he answered back.

---

“Kapag may ahas na naman dito, talagang lalayasan kita!”

Nakakunot-noong inilibot ko ang tingin sa bahay ni Zakarius. Hindi ako puwedeng tumuloy sa bahay ko dahil hanggang ngayon daw ay may reporters na natambay ro’n.

Sa phone lang ako nakapagpaalam kay Castor dahil nandito na pala siya sa Manila kahapon pa, pinatawag siya ni Cassian. Ngayon ko lang din nalaman na sa Ilocos Norte pala ako dinala ni Castor.

“There’s no snake here, pinaalis ko na kay Cad bago pa tayo makarating dito. I know you hate snakes,” Zakarius said and smiled at me.

“Why do you love snakes so much ba kasi?” I asked and crossed my arms over my chest. Zakarius just scratched his eyebrow and bit his lower lip.

“Because they are dangerous, and they’re beautiful too,” he answered. I just shrugged, hindi ko naman siya mapipigilan sa gusto niya. If he likes snakes, I’ll just respect it. Basta ba h’wag na niya ulit dadalhin dito habang nandito ako.

Natigilan na lang ako at napahawak sa tiyan ko nang kumalam iyon. Kakakain ko lang kanina sa kotse ni Zak ng fruits, nagugutom na naman ulit ako… dahil siguro dalawa na kaming nakain ngayon.

Mukhang napansin ni Zak na napahawak ako sa tiyan ko. Hinawakan ni Zak ang kamay ko saka dinampian ng halik ang kanang pisngi ko.

“Are you hungry? I’ll cook something for you,” he murmured. I just nodded and bit my lower lip.

Napangiti na lang si Zak. Magkahawak-kamay kaming nagtungo sa kusina. Na-miss ko rin itong bahay ni Zakarius, naalala ko bigla noong kinidnap kuno niya ako. Natawa na lang ako nang maalala iyon, ibig sabihin mahal na pala ako ni Zakarius during that time.

“Why are you laughing?”

Napatigil si Zakarius sa pagluluto at napalingon sa ’kin. I just smiled and covered my mouth with my hand, I fought the urge to laugh loudly. Kunwari pa siyang masungit, may gusto na naman pala sa akin.

“Nothing, I just remembered something funny. By the way, matatapos na ba ’yan?”

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa kanya. Muli niyang binalik ang atensyon sa niluluto. Yumakap na lang ako sa baywang niya mula sa likuran. Naamoy ko ang niluluto niyang beef steak, nakakagutom.

“Take a rest in your room first, dadalhin ko na lang ’to sa kuwarto mo,” sabi niya saka muling humarap sa ’kin at dinampian ng halik ang noo ko. Napangiti na lang ako sa ginawa niya.

Humalik na lang din ako sa labi niya bago siya tinalikuran at umalis ng kusina. Nagtungo ako sa naging kuwarto ko rito. Napangiti na lang ako nang mapansing walang pinagbago ang kuwarto, nandito pa rin ang mga gamit ko, even the vanity mirror.

I sat on the bed and took my phone from my sling bag. Ilang araw ko rin yatang hindi binuksan ’to.

I inhaled deeply and turned on my phone. I’m still nervous, I’m still not ready to see those bad comments about me, titingnan ko lang ang messages sa akin nina Cassian. I won’t open my social media accounts, makakasama sa akin ang ma-stress.

Isang message lang kay Cassian ang bumungad sa akin, he said ‘take your time to rest, Angel.’ Kay Chan marami, puro pangungumusta. I just smiled and shook my head, Chan is such a cutie.

Natigilan ako nang makitang may text messages na galing kay Jaze. Agad na umakyat ang kaba sa dibdib ko. Nanginginig ang mga kamay na binuksan ko ang messages niya.

Are you happy now? Zak is all yours now.

Hate me all you want, even though Zak and I weren’t in a relationship in the first place, you still stole him from me. Alam mo na boyfriend ko siya pero pinatulan mo pa rin!

Siguro masaya ka na ngayon dahil wala na ang panggulo sa inyo ni Zak?

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako sa mga nabasa ko. She’s still mad at me. Mabigat sa dibdib na galit pa rin siya sa akin hanggang ngayon, pero kasalanan ko rin naman kasi.

“Hey.”

Natigilan ako nang pumasok si Zak, may dala siyang plato at baso na may lamang orange juice. Agad kong pinatay ang screen ng phone ko at inilagay ’yon sa likuran ko.

“Is there something wrong?” tanong niya saka umupo rin sa kama. Inilagay niya ang plato at baso sa bedside table saka seryosong tumitig sa mga mata ko.

“N-nothing,” I mumbled and avoided his gaze.

Zakarius held my hand, he sighed and intertwined our fingers. Bahagya akong napapitlag nang i-angat niya ang kamay saka marahang hinaplos ang pisngi ko.

“Angel,” tila namimilit na sabi niya. Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko.

“Jaze is still mad at me,” I murmured.

Natahimik si Zak. Marahan niya na lang akong hinila papalapit sa kanya saka ikinulong ako sa mga bisig niya.

“Don’t mind her, masyado nang mabigat ang pino-problema mo dahil sa kanya, sarili mo muna ang isipin mo,” mahinang sambit niya habang hinahaplos ang buhok ko.

Kumalas na siya sa pagkakayakap sa ’kin saka muling tumitig sa mukha ko. He smiled at me and gently pinched my cheek.

“I love you,” he murmured and gave me a soft kiss.

Akmang ilalayo na niya ang mukha sa akin ngunit agad kong niyakap ang batok niya at mas pinalalim ang halik niya sa akin.

Halatang natigilan siya sa ginawa ko, pero ’di kalaunan napahawak na lang siya sa baywang ko at siya na mismo ang nagpalalim ng halik.

He starts kissing my lips slowly and gently, as if he’s afraid to hurt me. I answered his slow kisses with equal passion. He moved his lips together with his tongue against mine. Pakiramdam ko ngayon na lang ulit kami naghalikan nang ganito.

He distanced his face from me and stared on my lips. He gulped while gently caressing my bottom lip with his thumb.

I pouted my lips and glared at him. Why the hell did he stop?

I suddenly remembered the cute word I learned from Cadence yesterday.

“Kiss me again, rekdi,” I said and chuckled.

Natigilan si Zak sa sinabi ko. Napakunot ang noo niya saka bahagyang lumayo sa akin.

Bakit mukha siyang galit?

“Who the fuck is Rekdi?” he asked. Bahagya ng namumula ang mukha niya dahil sa inis at halos magdikit na rin ang dalawang kilay niya.

Natawa na lang ako sa tanong niya.

“Secret. He’s my ideal man, he’s hot, handsome, and cute at the same time… And I love him so much.”

Mas lalong napakunot ang noo niya. Akala ko pa naman ay mage-gets na niya na siya ’yon dahil sa clues na sinabi ko.

“Who is he?” tila naiinis pa ring tanong niya.

I just smirked and crossed my arms. Pagti-trip-an ko nga muna itong si rekdi .

“He’s the love of my life, I can’t live without him, Zak. Gusto ko ring bumuo ng family with him,” I said and smiled sweetly at him.

Natigilan ako nang tumayo siya saka kinuha mula sa likuran niya. Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makitang baril ’yon. Ang dilim na ng mukha ni Zak, kunot na kunot ang noo niya at tila ba gusto niya ng manuntok, minsan ko lang siya makitang ganyan.

“What the hell, Zak?” I can’t take my eyes off his gun.

“I’ll tell Cadence to find that motherf-cking rekdi or whoever the fuck he is. I will kill him,” he said in a cold tone.

Siguradong tatawanan lang siya ni Cadence.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

“Tangina, one hour yata akong natawa. Ang tanga ni Zak, sobra,” natatawang sabi ni Cadence sa kabilang linya. Napaismid na lang ako.

“Nagtatampo siya sa akin, niloloko ko lang naman siya, e,” nakangusong sabi ko saka napapadyak sa sahig.

“Gaga ka kasi, bakit pinaabot mo pa kasi na pumunta siya rito para ipa-hunting sa akin si rekdi kuno? Para lang siyang ewan na nagpunta sa lost and found para ipahanap ang sarili niya,” natatawa pa ring sabi ni Cadence.

“How can I make him forgive me?” I asked and bit my nail. Hindi siya lumalabas sa room niya, ipinagluto niya lang ako ng food tapos pumasok na rin agad siya sa kuwarto niya, ni hindi niya ako pinapansin.

Siguro napahiya siya dahil pinahanap niya talaga si ‘rekdi’ kuno kay Cadence kahit siya naman ’yon.

“Bakit kita tutulungan? Bahala ka sa buhay mo, matapos-tapos niyong mag-sweet moments sa harapan ko, wala kayong respeto sa single,” tila nagda-dramang sabi niya, nai-imagine ko pa na nakahawak siya sa dibdib niya at nag-e-emote.

“Hoy! Anong single ang pinagsasasabi mo riyan?!”

Natigilan ako nang makarinig ng boses ng babae sa kabilang linya. Napangiti na lang ako, siguro iyon ang girlfriend ng Cadence na ’to.

“Ay oo nga pala, girlfriend nga pala kita. Pasensya ka na ha, God bless.”

Pagkasabi ni Cadence no’n, pinatay na rin niya ang tawag. I just sighed, slumped on the bed, and stared on the ceiling. Ano ba ang dapat kong gawin para hindi na mag-inarte pa si Zak?

“Fuck,” I hissed and stood up.

Bahala siya sa buhay niya! Nilalambing ko na nga siya kanina, ayaw niya pa rin akong pansinin. Edi hindi ko na lang din siya papansinin, hindi siya kawalan!

Humiga na lang ako sa kama at pumikit, tutulugan ko na lang siya. Bahala siya, hindi niya rin naman ako matitiis. Ako matitiis ko siya kahit gaano katagal.

I tried to sleep and calm my mind, pero hindi maalis sa isip ko ang Zakarius na ’yon. I crave for his hugs and kisses. Paano niya ako nagagawang tiisin?!

Naiinis na bumangon ako at lumabas ng silid ko saka basta na lang pinasok ang kuwarto ni Zak, buti na lang hindi naka-lock. Naabutan ko siya na nakaupo sa kama niya habang nakatutok sa laptop niya, he didn’t even glimpse at me. Damn him.

“Zakarius! I said sorry!” naiinis na asik ko saka lumapit sa kanya.

He’s editing a movie scene in his laptop. I just rolled my eyes and sat beside him.

“Hey, talk to me. Sorry na nga, e. Ayaw mo no’n? At least ikaw ang rekdi na tinutukoy ko!”

Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang ako pa ang galit kahit ako naman ang may   kasalanan. Kasama ba ’to sa pagbubuntis ko o baka talagang maarte lang ako?

He didn’t say anything. He just sighed, closed his laptop, and put it on the bedside table. Humiga na siya sa kama at nagtalukbong ng kumot. Napaismid na lang ako ngunit humiga rin sa tabi niya.

Mag-iinarte pa rin pala siya?

“Hey, my big baby,” I murmured and hugged him from behind.

Paano ko ba siya lalambingin?

“I’m sorry na, I miss you already. I miss your hugs and kisses, don’t you love me anymore?” I asked and buried my face on his back and inhaled his scent.

Hindi pa rin siya nagsalita pero nararamdaman kong pinipigil niya ang paghinga niya.

“Do you still remember what I said about rekdi earlier? I told you that rekdi is the love of my life, I can’t live without him… And that he’s cute, handsome, and hot. Diba I told you rin na gusto kong bumuo ng family with him?”

Halatang natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. Agad siyang humarap sa akin at tumitig sa mga mata ko. He bit his lower lip as if he’s restraining himself from smiling.

“Really?” he asked and held my waist. I just nodded and chuckled. Damn this man.

Hindi lang pala ako ang marupok, siya rin. Well, it’s a good thing.

“You’re my rekdi, my lovey dovey rekdi,” I murmured and gave him a peck on his soft lips. Zakarius smiled and pulled me into a tight hug. Napahagikhik na lang ako at gumanti ng yakap sa kanya.

“Ahh, rekdi sounds cute now,” he mumbled and kissed the top of my head.

Tumingala ako at tiningnan siya nang diretso sa mga mata niya.

“Love mo na ulit ako?” tanong ko. Natawa na lang si Zakarius.

“Why are you asking that? Hindi nawala ang love ko sa ’yo, at hindi rin mawawala,” sabi niya saka mas hinigpitan ang yakap sa akin.

“You’re so maarte kaya kanina, ayaw mo akong pansinin kaya akala ko hindi mo na ako mahal. Na-miss ko ang kisses, hugs, at ’yung squishy squishy mo,” nakangusong sabi ko. Natawa naman si Zakarius at pinisil ang pisngi ko.

“You missed my squishy squishy too?” he asked while a wide smile is plastered on his handsome face. Minsan lang siya ngumiti nang ganyan.

“Yeah,” I mumbled and pinched his cheek too. “Squishy squishy.” I giggled.

Natigilan kaming pareho nang kumalam ang sikmura ko, siguradong naramdaman niya iyon dahil magkayakap lang kami. Napakurap na lang ako at nahihiyang napaiwas ng tingin sa kanya.

“Hindi ka pa nakain?” tanong niya, tila galit pa ang tono.

I smacked his chest and glared at him.

“This is your fault, nawalan ako ng gana kumain dahil nagtatampo ka sa ’kin,” paninisi ko sa kanya.

Zakarius sighed and scratched his nape. Bumangon siya saka tinulungan din akong bumangon. He held my hand and intertwined our fingers. Seryoso siyang tumitig sa akin.

“Let’s go, I’ll feed you,” he said and gently pinched my nose.

Sumunod na lang ako sa kanya nang lumabas kami ng silid niya saka nagtungo sa dining area. Ipinaghila niya ako ng upuan saka pinaupo ako ro’n.

“Why aren’t you eating something at–” hindi na naituloy ni Zak ang sasabihin nang buksan niya ang takip, wala ng pagkain doon. He looked at me, disbelief is visible in his eyes, his lips are slightly pouted too.

“Actually, I already ate. Gutom lang talaga ulit ako,” I said and smiled sweetly at him.

Mukhang nagulat pa rin siya, marami siyang iniluto at naubos ko ang lahat ng ’yon tapos gutom pa ako, hindi na ako nagtataka kung bakit ganyan ang reaksyon niya.

“You’re… you’re still hungry?” he asked and scratched his thick eyebrow. I bit my lower lip and nodded.

“Why? Are you worried na baka tumaba ako?” I asked as my forehead furrowed.

Zakarius sighed and crossed his muscled arms over his chest and looked at me with his intense blue eyes.

“I told you before that I don’t give a fuck about appearances, Angel. Naninibago lang talaga ako, you weren’t like this before. You only eat fruits and vegetables at night,” he said and pinched my cheeks. I hissed and rolled my eyes at him. Sus.

“Wala lang, for a change. I want to eat the foods that I want while I’m still alive without thinking about my figure and my body. Sabi nga nila, you only live once, if reincarnation is not true,” I said and shrugged. Napatango na lang si Zakarius sa sinabi ko.

“Okay, what do you want me to cook, my queen Angel?” he asked and smiled at me.

Nahawa ako sa ngiti niyang ’yon at napangiti na lang din.

“I want chicken curry,” I instantly answered. Zakarius nodded and gave me a peck on my lips and headed to the kitchen counter.

I just watched his back and bit my nail. Pinanood ko na lang ang bawat galaw niya habang naghihiwa siya ng ingredients. I sighed and touched my tummy. Kailan kaya ako magiging handa na sabihin sa kanya ang tungkol sa baby namin?

I don’t know what’s stopping me from telling him. It’s either natatakot ako sa magiging reaction niya, or talagang hindi pa ako sure sa kahihinatnan naming dalawa.

“Here’s your chicken curry, what do you want to drink? Water, milk or juice?” he asked and served me the curry.

“Water,” I answered and smiled at him. Agad kong kinuha ang kutsara at nagsimulang kumain.

Zakarius sat beside me pagkatapos niyang kumuha ng water at pinanood akong kumain. Mas ganado ako ngayon kaysa kanina dahil bati na kami. Oo nga’t naubos ko ang pagkain, pero malungkot naman ako noong kumain akong kanina dahil nagtatampo siya sa ’kin.

“Gusto mo ba?” tanong ko saka itinapat sa labi niya ang kutsara na may curry. Zakarius just shook his head and smiled. I just shrugged and continued eating.

“It’s satisfying to see you eat like that. You’re gaining weight too,” he said and gently pinched my arm.

I gasped in shock and pushed him away from me. Halata namang natigilan siya sa ginawa ko pero tiningnan ko lang siya nang masama.

“So you don’t love me now just because I gained weight?” I asked, my eyebrow shot up.

Nagtatakang napatingin sa akin si Zak, tila naguguluhan sa sinabi ko.

“I told you that you’re gaining weight… but I didn’t tell you that I don’t love you anymore because of that.” His forehead creased.

I cleared my throat and turned my gaze away from him. I suddenly feel embarrassed. I know this is just due to my pregnancy but I’m becoming more sensitive as time goes by.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled and bit my lower lip.

Hinawakan na lang ni Zakarius ang kamay ko saka dinampian ng magaan na halik ang likod ng palad ko. He smiled at me and gently pinched my cheek.

“It’s alright. Maybe you’re just anxious about gaining weight, but I want you to know that I don’t give a fuck about that, Angel. I love you not because you got perfect curves and angelic face, I love you because you’re my Angel… I love you because you’re Angelica Louise Mendoza. Even if the time comes you don’t possess physical beauty anymore, you’ll still be the most beautiful woman in my eyes for physical appearance isn’t important and not a basis of my love for you… and it will never be,” he murmured while staring directly into my eyes.

I bit my lower lip and pulled him into a tight hug. Halatang natigilan siya sa ginawa ko pero mahinang napahalakhak na lang siya saka ginantihan ako ng yakap.

“I love you too, Zak. I love you not because you got perfect body and super handsome face… I love you because you’re Zakarius, my softie and cutie Zakarius,” I mumbled and inhaled his scent.

HINDI AKO nakakain nang ayos dahil puro landian kami ni Zak habang nakain ako kanina. Ang kulit talaga ng lalaking ’yon, ang sarap mahalin.

Napatingin ako sa salamin pagkatapos kong mag-shower at magbihis ng pantulog. Medyo tumataba na nga ako.

Imbis na mainis, napangiti na lang ako nang maalala ko ang mga sinabi ni Zakarius kanina. He never fails to make me feel beautiful and confident.

“Damn, I miss him already,” I mumbled while brushing my hair.

I want to sleep beside him but he insisted, hindi ko alam kung bakit. Gusto ko lang naman siyang yakapin. I just want squishy squishy moment with him.

Okay, to be honest, I want to have sex with him too, not just hugs and squishy squishy.

Lumabas na lang ako ng silid ko pagkatapos kong magsuklay at agad na nagtungo sa kuwarto ni Zakarius at binuksan ang pinto. Naabutan ko siyang nakahiga sa kama niya at nakapikit na. Agad naman siyang napamulat nang buksan ko ang pinto at napatingin sa direksyon ko.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at humiga sa tabi niya. I sighed and hugged his waist. He smells so good.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his forehead furrowed.

“I want to sleep beside you, I want cuddle moment,” I murmured and hugged him tighter. Napabuntong hininga siya sa ginawa ko.

“Sleep in your room, my Angel. Magyayakapan naman tayo nang matagal bukas,” he said and slightly pushed me away from him. I pouted and smacked his chest.

Naiinis na bumangon ako at tiningnan siya nang masama. Napabangon na lang din si Zak at napakamot sa kilay niya.

“Bakit ba ayaw mong magtabi tayo?! Nu’ng ikaw ang nasa bahay ko, tabi ka nang tabi sa ’kin kahit ayaw ko. Tapos ngayong nandito ako sa bahay mo, pinagbabawalan mo ’kong tumabi sa ’yo? Bahala ka na nga riyan!”

Akmang tatayo na ako ngunit agad na nahawakan ni Zakarius ang kamay ko. Napabuntong hininga na lang siya.

“Fine, I’m sorry. You can sleep beside me now. Okay?” he asked and caressed my cheek. I rolled my eyes at him.

“We’re just going to sleep? Hindi ba tayo magse-sex?”

Nasamid si Zakarius sa tanong ko. Napaupo siya at napaiwas ng tingin sa ’kin ngunit hindi nakawala sa paningin ko ang bahagyang pamumula ng mukha niya.

I suddenly want to have sex with him. I don’t know if this is because of my pregnancy or maybe he’s just too hot right now. Okay lang naman, my doctor said it’s still safe for me to have sex with him.

“W-what?” he asked and scratched his nape. I rolled my eyes once again. Why is he acting like this? Noon nga hindi kami natutulog hangga’t hindi siya nagsasawa.

“I want you, Zak. Let’s have sex. Actually, I’m kinda wet right now just by thinking about having sex with you,” I honestly said and pouted.

Natahimik si Zak habang nakatulala sa akin, tila pino-proseso niya pa rin ang mga ka-bulgarang sinabi ko.

Zakarius took a deep breath and scratched his thick eyebrow, tila hindi niya alam kung sasakyan ba ang sinabi ko o hindi.

“I won’t force you if you don’t want to, Zak. I’m just asking if–”

Hindi na ako natapos sa sasabihin ko nang hilahin niya ako papalapit sa kanya saka siniil nang mariing halik ang labi ko. I automatically closed my eyes and responded to his passionate kiss. I clung my arm around his nape and answered his kisses with equal heat.

Naramdaman ko na lang ang paglapat ng likod ko sa malambot na kama habang patuloy pa rin ang mainit na halikan namin. His hand reached my waist, down to my legs, sensually caressing it.

He broke the kiss and distanced his lips from mine. He inhaled deeply and gently stroke my bottom lip with his thumb.

“I don’t want you to think that I only want sex from you, Angel… for me, this is making love, not just sex driven by lust,” he muttered and stared into my eyes. I just smiled at him and nodded.

“Yes, this is making love,” bulong ko at ako na mismo ang humalik sa labi niya.

He answered my hungry kiss with equal fervor. I spread my legs for him and clung it around his waist. His kisses became gentle, his lips are like caressing my lips with much tenderness and love, it reached the depth of my heart and soul. His gentle kiss is making me love him more.

“I love you so much,” he mumbled.

Napasinghap na lang ako at napakapit nang mahigpit sa batok niya. His hot tongue starts moving together with his lips. I groaned in much need when he ran his tongue on my bottom lip and gently licked it. He bit my lower lip, I unconsciously parted my lips because of that. He didn’t miss the opportunity and put his tongue inside my mouth, tasting the insides of it, playing with my tongue while caressing my right leg.

He put his hand inside my nightgown and reached for my bossom. I moan against his needy kisses when he starts fondling my bossom. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my system. Ilang linggo na rin ang nakalipas no’ng huling beses na ginawa namin ’to, kaya siguro sobra akong nasasabik.

Natigilan kaming pareho nang makarinig ng katok sa pinto.

“Boss Zakarius!” Boses ni Cadence ’yon, ah.

Saglit lang na natigilan si Zak at muli akong hinalikan. I held his arm, trying to stop him but he didn’t stop, he just continued kissing me while molding my bossom with his calloused hand.

“Z-Zak, someone’s knocking,” I mumbled against his kisses. I gently pushed his chest.

Zakarius hissed in annoyance. Bumangon siya at inayos ang t-shirt na suot niya. Napabangon na lang din ako at inayos ang nightgown ko.

“That motherf-cking assh-le,” mariing mura ni Zakarius saka kumuha ng baril sa drawer niya.

Agad na binuksan niya ang pinto, tama nga ang hinala ko na si Cadence ang nakatatok. Napatayo ako at napasinghap nang itutok niya ang baril sa noo ni Cadence, kahit si Cad ay halatang nagulat din sa ginawa nito.

“What the hell, Zak?” tanong ni Cad, he can’t take his eyes off Zakarius’ gun.

“I’ll give you fucking 3 seconds to run, Lettiere,” Zakarius said in a dangerous tone while looking murderously at Cadence.

“W-wait naman, kalma muna. M-mangungutang lang naman ako, e,” nauutal na sabi ni Cad at napaangat pa ang dalawang kamay na tila sumusuko. Napatingin si Cadence sa akin, napangiwi siya. “Tangina, kaya pala.”

“One,” bilang ni Zak.

Agad na tumakbo si Cadence palayo. Napatili ako nang paputukin na ni Zak ang baril kahit hindi pa man umaabot ng three seconds. Agad akong tumakbo papalapit kay Zak at humawak sa braso niya upang pakalmahin siya.

“Tangina, Zakarius! Kapag ako napatay mong hayop ka! Tama na!” sigaw ni Cadence habang hinahabol siya ng mga balang pinapakawalan ni Zak.

“Zak! Stop it, baka mabaril mo si Cad,” pagpigil ko sa kanya ngunit hindi siya natinag at patuloy pa rin ang pagpapaputok ng baril.

“Aalis na nga, e! Aalis na ’ko, ituloy niyo na ’yung loving loving niyo!” sigaw ni Cadence saka nagmamadaling bumaba ng hagdan.

Napatingin ako kay Zak na madilim pa rin ang mukha… Hindi pala magandang binibitin ang Zakarius na ’to, namamaril.

Chapter Thirty

Uncomfortable. I can’t sleep.

I looked at Zakarius who’s currently sleeping like a baby right now. He’s hugging my waist while his lips are slightly parted. Noon ko pa napapansin na mabilis makatulog si Zak lalo kapag magkatabi kami. We just finished making love and he already fell asleep five minutes after cleaning me up and himself. And I’m here, still wide awake for almost an hour after he fell asleep. Kanina pa ako nakatitig sa mukha niya, halos magsawa na ako.

Sa totoo lang ayaw niya pang matulog kanina dahil hihintayin niya raw ako na maunang makatulog, pinilit ko na lang siya na pumikit dahil alam kong hindi niya mapaninindigan ’yon at makakatulog din siya kaagad.

I feel uncomfortable because I want to eat something from Mcdo or other fast-food chain, but I don’t want to wake him up just for that. Ayaw kong sirain ang tulog niya dahil mukhang himbing na himbing sa pagtulog.

I just sighed and clung my arm around his nape, he didn’t even move and still sleeping soundly. I just smiled and chuckled softly. The duality of this man, he was so hot while we’re making love making me lose my inhibitions, but now he’s sleeping like an innocent baby.

I gently traced his jaw using my index finger. I gave him a peck on his lips and nuzzled on his neck. He let out a husky groan and hugged me tighter. I inhaled his scent, ang amoy niya yata ang pinakagusto kong amoy sa lahat.

“Angel,” he murmured.

Umalis ako sa pagkakasubsob sa leeg niya at tumingin sa mukha niya. He slowly opened his eyes, kinusot niya ang mga ’yon saka napahikab. He honestly looks cute while yawning.

“Why are you still awake?” he asked in a hoarse voice and gently caressed my cheek. I just bit my lower lip and smiled shyly at him.

“Go back to sleep, makakatulog din ako mamaya,” sabi ko na lang. Napakunot ang noo niya.

“What is it? Why are you still not sleeping? Can’t sleep?” he asked and gave me a peck on my forehead. I just closed my eyes and sighed.

My stomach growled, mukhang naramdaman niya yata ’yon dahil natigilan siya. He let out a manly chuckle and pinched my cheek.

“You’re hungry. Why didn’t you wake me up? Ipagluluto naman kita,” tila nanenermong sabi niya.

“You’re sleeping peacefully, I don’t want to disturb you,” I mumbled qmd avoided his gaze.

Zakarius gently held my jaw and made me face him. Napatingin ako sa asul niyang mga mata, seryoso siyang nakatingin nang diretso sa mga mata ko.

“Next time, don’t hesitate to wake me up if you need or want something. Okay? You boldly ask for sex earlier, hindi ka rin dapat mahiya na gisingin ako kapag may kailangan ka. It’s totally fine,” usal niya saka pinaningkitan ako ng mga mata. Napanguso na lang ako.

“Fine… I’m hungry,” I mumbled and touched my stomach.

“Do you want a real food this time or…”

Hindi ko na siya pinatapos, agad kong hinampas ang braso niya. Tinawanan niya lang ako saka marahang kinurot ang pisngi ko.

“Just kidding,” he mumbled. I just glared at him.

Bumangon siya at umalis ng kama saka lumapit sa akin at hinawakan ang kamay ko at inalalayan ako na bumangon. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko at pinigilan siya nang akmang lalabas na kami ng silid niya.

He looked at me with confusion in his eyes. I just bit my lower lip and sighed.

“I want food from Mcdo, Zak. I want spaghetti, fried chicken, fries, and McFlurry from Mcdo,” I mumbled.

Zakarius nodded and took his car key from the bedside table. Mukha namang hindi siya naiinis kahit pa nagising siya ng dahil sa ’kin tapos pabibilhin ko pa siya ng pagkain sa fast-food chain.

“Wait for me here, I’ll buy those for you. May iba ka pa bang gusto?” he asked in a soft voice and caressed my cheeks while staring at me. I smiled at him and shook my head.

“Wala na.”

Napatango na lang si Zak.

“Okay, I’ll go now. I love you,” he murmured and gave me a gentle kiss on my lips. Pagkahalik niya sa akin ay lumabas na rin siya kaagad.

Bumalik na lang ako sa kama at umupo ro’n pagkaalis ni Zak. Napahawak ako sa tiyan ko na kanina pa nag-aalburoto. Napapangiting umiling na lang ako.

When will I be able to tell him about my pregnancy? Sa ngayon maitatago ko pa dahil maliit pa rin ang tiyan ko. Pero alam kong napapansin niya rin ang mga pagbabago sa ’kin.

Napailing na lang ako at kinuha ang phone ko sa bedside table. 1 am na pala, last na ’to na magpupuyat ako. Makakasama sa baby ko ang pagpupuyat. Binuksan ko na lang ang phone ko at nag-games na lang habang hinihintay si Zak. Simula ng mag-lie low ako sa showbiz, madalang na akong gumamit ng phone.

Dumating din kaagad si Zakarius makalipas ang ilang minuto. I put my phone on the bedside table gave Zakarius a wide smile. Mas lalo akong na-excite nang makita ang paper bags na dala niya na may logo ng Mcdo.

Zakarius sat beside me and gave me a peck on my lips.

“I love you, but don’t eat here and eat on the dining area instead, Angel,” he said and scratched his eyebrow. I just rolled my eyes and nodded. Ayaw niya talaga na nakain dito sa room niya, mas maarte pa yata siya sa akin.

“Samahan mo ’ko, susubuan kita,” sabi ko na lang saka ngumiti nang matamis sa kanya at hinila siya.

Nagpatianod na lang siya sa ’kin nang hilahin ko siya palabas ng silid. Nagtungo kami sa living room at umupo sa couch. Kinuha ko mula sa kanya ang mga pagkain at inilapag ang mga ’yon sa mini table saka inilabas sa paper bag. Halos tumambling ang sikmura ko sa tuwa nang maamoy ko ang fries.

“I’ve been craving for this,” I murmured.

Sumandal na lang si Zakarius habang nakatitig sa ’kin. Kumuha ako ng isang fries at kinagatan ’yon. Napatingin ako kay Zak, muli akong kumuha ng isang fries at itinapat ’yon sa bibig niya. Napailing na lang siya.

“I’m good, baka kulang pa sa ’yo ’yan, natatawang sabi niya. I glared at him and punched his arm lightly.

“Fine. How about spaghetti?”

Inilabas ko ang box ng spaghetti saka binuksan ’yon. Kinuha ko ang plastic fork saka inikot iyon sa spag. Inilapit ko iyon sa bibig niya, umiling na naman siya.

“Sige na, hindi mo na ba ako mahal?” I asked and glared at him.

Napakamot na lang siya sa batok niya at isinubo ang spaghetti. Napangiti na lang ako habang nakatitig sa kanya, hinihintay ko ang opinyon niya about sa spaghetti.

“Ano? Masarap diba?” tanong ko saka ako naman ang sumubo ng spaghetti.

“Not bad,” he answered. I just rolled my eyes at him, ang arte ha.

Kumain na lang ako nang kumain habang si Zakarius, nakatitig lang sa akin. Sinusubuan ko siya ng kung ano-ano, wala naman siyang nagagawa kundi ang kumain na lang dahil nagagalit ako kapag natanggi siya.

Bumalik na kami sa kuwarto niya pagkatapos naming kumain.

“I’ll just brush my teeth,” Zakarius said and entered the bathroom.

I immediately took my phone and followed him in the bathroom. Halatang natigilan naman siya nang makita akong pumasok. Sakto na naglalagay na siya ng toothpaste sa toothbrush niya.

“Sabay na tayo, wait ka lang!”

Kinuha ko ang toothbrush ko sa lagayan saka inagaw mula sa kanya ang toothpaste. Nilahyan ko ng toothpaste ang toothbrush ko. Akmang magto-toothbrush na si Zak pero agad ko siyang pinigilan, napakunot ang noo niya.

“Wait, magvi-video tayo na sabay nagto-toothbrush, dapat mukha tayong sweet. Tumitig ka sa ’kin habang nagto-toothbrush tayo ha, kunwari in love na in love ka sa ’kin,” sabi ko saka inilagay ang toothpaste sa lagayan.

“In love na in love naman talaga ako sa ’yo, e,” sabi niya habang nakakunot pa rin ang noo.

I stared at him and blinked twice. Seryoso ang mukha niya nang sabihin niya ’yon, walang halong ‘banat’ look or what. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa kanya at nag-focus sa phone ko para hindi niya mahalata na kinilig ako sa sinabi niya.

“Basta gano’n. Ipo-post ko ’to sa social media kapag legal na tayo sa Pilipinas at wala na ’ko sa showbiz ng tuluyan,” sabi ko saka in-open ang camera ng phone ko.

“Why do we need to be legal for other people? Hindi natin kailangang maging legal sa kanila, sa mga magulang mo na lang,” sabi niya saka tumingin sa salamin.

My cheeks heated with his remark. Nagpapahiwatig ba siya?

Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko at magmumog. Kung ano-anong pagpapakilig ang sinasabi niya. Ang gusto ko naman kay Zak ay ang pagiging unaware niya na pinapakilig na pala niya ako.

“Soon. Basta, mag-video muna tayo.” Itinapat ko ang camera sa salamin, mirror shot ang gagawin namin, para cute. “Game na ha… One, two, three!”

I started the video. We both started brushing our teeth. Gusto kong matawa kay Zak dahil halatang awkward na awkward siya sa camera.

’Di kalaunan, tumingin na lang siya sa akin. He gave me that kind of look that I want, he’s looking at me as if his world revolves around me. I fought the urge to giggle, once I’m done with showbiz, I’ll post this video on social media.

Wala akong pakialam kung mainggit man ang mga single diyan.

---

“I can go on my own, Zak. Saglit lang naman kaming mag-uusap ni Cassian, ise-settle ko lang ang mga kailangan kong bayaran for the breach of contract,” I said while applying lip balm on my lips. Hindi na ako nag-apply nang makapal na make up. I wore a simple Boho Coachella ruffle floral dress, I paired it with a beige flat shoes. Hindi na muna ako magsusuot ng heels while I’m pregnant.

“I’ll come with you,” pamimilit ni Zak saka sinuot ang black leather jacket niya.

Ngayon ko na lang siya ulit nakitang magsuot niyan. Feeling ko si Director Cavalcante ang kaharap ko ngayon at hindi boyfriend ko.

“Ang kulit,” napapailing na sabi ko na lang saka kinuha ang sling bag ko. “Kapag nakita tayo ng media, pag-iinitan na naman tayo,” I said and crossed my arms above my chest.

“We’ll be careful. Let’s wear a mask,” he said and took two black face masks from his drawer. I chuckled and shook my head.

Wala na akong nagawa kundi ang isama siya. Siya naman ang nag-drive, sineryoso namin ang pagsusuot ng face mask kahit mukha kaming holdaper pareho.

“Wait for me here, saglit lang kaming mag-uusap ni Cassian. I’ll be–” agad niyang pinutol ang sasabihin ko.

“I’ll come with you,” he said and removed his seatbelt. Tinanggal niya rin ang seatbelt ko. Napasinghap ako nang magdikit ang mga mukha naming dalawa. Napangiti na lang siya saka dinampian ng halik ang labi ko bago dumistansya.

I cleared my throat to calm myself. Ano ba naman ’yan? Bakit hindi pa rin nasasnaay ang puso ko sa lalaking ’to?

“Bahala ka na nga,” sabi ko na lang at napairap saka agad na bumaba ng kotse niya.

Sumunod siya sa ’kin papasok ng Aingeal building, napaptingin sa ’min ang ilang empleyado dahil mukha kaming ewan. Whatever, hindi na naman ako mag-a-artista, e.

About that, siyempre may parte sa akin na nalulungkot. Kahit nakaka-stress at nakakapagod ang pagiging artista and model, napapasaya naman ako no’n lalo na kapag nakikita ko ang mga sumu-suporta sa ’kin. But now, my number one priority is protecting my baby. Hindi na maganda ang imahe ko sa showbiz, ayaw ko na dalhin ’yon ng magiging anak ko kaya ititigil ko na lang. I’m sure that my baby will be my number one happiness anyway.

“Angel!”

Agad akong binati ni Cassian pagpasok namin ni Zak sa office niya. Inirapan ko na lang siya at naiinis na hinubad ang face mask ko.

“Shut up,” sabi ko na lang saka umupo sa couch.

Umupo si Zak sa tabi ko at hinawakan ang kamay ko, hinayaan ko na lang siya.

“Wow, is that Director Cavalcante?” Cassian asked.

Zakarius removed his face mask and put it in his pocket. Napasinghap naman si Cassian nang makita ang buong mukha niya.

“You two are in a relationship?” Cassian asked. His eyes widened and his lips parted in shock.

“Hindi ba obvious? Gusto mo maghalikan pa kami sa harap mo, e,” sabi ko na lang saka ngumisi sa kanya.

“Angel,” pananaway ni Zak sa ’kin.

“What?” I asked and looked innocently at him. He just sighed and shook his head.

Natatawang napakamot na lang si Cassian sa batok niya habang nakatingin sa amin.

“Congrats sa inyo, but Angel, you have to pay for the breach of contract on your signed endorsements and movies kung talagang titigil ka na sa showbiz,” naging seryoso ang tono ng boses ni Cassian.

“I know that, babayaran ko ang mga ’yon, don’t worry,” I said and smiled at him.

“How much does she need to pay? I’ll pay for that.” Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Zak. Tumingin ako nang masama sa kanya at hinampas ang braso niya.

“No way, Zak. I have my own money, ako na ang bahala,” sabi ko na lang. Napabuntong hininga na lang si Zak.

“I know you’re an independent woman, but you can rely on me, Angel. If you need something, just tell me,” Zakarius said and intertwined our fingers. I just nodded and smiled at him.

“I know, love. But I can pay for this one, hmm? Let me handle my own problem, your presence is enough to make me feel better,” I muttered. Zakarius gave me a small smile and kissed the back of my hand.

“Sige, mag-live drama na lang kayo sa harapan ko.”

Natigilan kaming pareho at napatingin kay Cassian. Inirapan ko na lang siya, panira talaga.

Pagkatapos naming pag-usapan ang mga kailangan kong bayaran, agad din kaming umalis ni Zak sa agency at agad na umuwi.

Umalis din kaagad si Zak dahil may kailangan pa siyang trabahuhin, ilang araw din kasi siyang hindi nag-trabaho.

Habang wala si Zak, napag-desisyunan kong magluto at mag-bake. I will surprise him, tonight, I will finally tell him that I’m pregnant.

Sa totoo lang, nagda-dalawang isip pa rin ako noong una, pero para saan pa nga ba kung ililihim ko pa ang tungkol doon?

Napatigil ako sa panonood ng tutorial sa youtube nang mag-text si Zakarius.

My baby Zakarius: let’s eat somewhere nice tonight, I have something to tell you. I love you, my Angel.

Napangiwi ako nang mabasa ang text niya. Ano ba ’yan? Nakapagluto na ako, e. Agad ko siyang ni-reply-an.

Let’s eat here na lang sa house mo. Nagluto ako para sa ’yo eh :< but if you really want to eat somewhere, okay lang naman din.

Agad siyang nag-reply.

My baby Zakarius: No, diyan na lang tayo kakain. You cooked for me, I’m so excited to go home. ^_^

Natawa ako sa emoticon na kasama sa message niya. Ang cute talaga ng baby Zakarius ko, na-miss ko tuloy agad siya. I miss his squishy squishy already.

“Yey, I’m done,” bulong ko nang matapos na akong magluto. Kaunting dish lang naman ang niluto ko dahil hindi naman talaga ako marunong magluto. Tinikman ko naman ang lahat, hindi naman masama ang lasa.

8 pm na nang makauwi si Zak. Agad niya akong sinugod ng yakap na para bang ten years kaming hindi nagkita.

“Ah, I missed you so much,” he murmured and gave me a peck on my lips. I chuckled and smacked his chest lightly. “Squishy squishy,” he mumbled and pinched my cheeks.

Kinurot ko rin ang pisngi niya. “Squishy squishy,” I muttered and smiled at him.

“Ano’ng niluto mo?” tanong niya saka yumakap sa baywang ko.

Agad kong hinawakan ang kamay niya at hinila siya paupo sa upuan, natawa na lang siya sa ginawa ko. Umupo ako sa katapat na upuan, saka itinuro ang mga niluto ko.

“I cooked steak, chicken marsala, and homemade ricotta. I also baked a small chocolate cake. Tada!” I smiled at him. Napangiti na lang din si Zak habang nakatitig sa akin.

Akmang ipaghahain ko na siya pero agad niya akong pinigilan. Natigilan ako nang siya ang maghain para sa ’kin. Napangiti na lang ako at hinayaan siya. I’m sure he’ll be a good husband… I just wish he will be my husband in the future, I can’t imagine myself with another man but him.

Nagsimula na kaming kumain, pasimple akong napapatingin sa kanya habang nakahawak sa tiyan ko. Kinakabahan pa rin ako. Humahanap lang ako ng magandang timing na sabihin sa kanya ang tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko.

“Hey, do you want to say something? Hindi ka mapakali.” Zakarius held my hand and stared at me. I just sighed and bit my lower lip.

I should tell him now. Bahala na kung ano ang magiging reaksyon niya, kung matutuwa man siya o maiinis. Bahala na. Ang mahalaga, masabi ko na ’to sa kanya.

“Zakarius, ang totoo niyan… I’m preg–” naputol ang sasabihin ko.

“Zak!”

Natigilan kaming pareho sa pinanggalingan ng boses. Gano’n na lang ang gulat ko nang makita si Jaze na naglalakad papalapit sa amin. Her eyes are swollen, mukhang kakagaling niya lang sa pag-iyak.

“What the hell are you doing here?” nakakunot-noong tanong ni Zak.

Hindi ako binalingan ng tingin ni Jaze, nanatili siyang nakatingin kay Zakarius.

“You will propose to her, right? I saw you bought a ring earlier,” Jaze said and glimpsed at me. Muli niya ring ibinalik ang tingin kay Zak.

Nanlamig ang mga kamay ko sa sinabi niya, may kung ano akong naramdaman sa tiyan ko. Bumilis din ang tibok ng puso ko, hindi ko alam kung kaba ba ’yon o excitement. Napatingin ako kay Zak, he just avoided my gaze and cleared his throat.

“So what if I will? And why are you even here? After what you have done to Angel, you’ll show yourself as if you didn’t do something terrible to her,” Zakarius said, his forehead creased and his jaw clenched.

“No, Zak. You can’t marry her! Kailangan mong panagutan ’to!” singhal ni Jaze saka itinuro ang tiyan niya.

Agad na nanghina ang buong katawan ko sa sinabi niya. Maski si Zakarius ay halatang nagulat din dahil napaawang amg mga labi niya.

“What the hell are you saying, Jaze?” Zakarius asked and stood up, nakipaglabanan siya ng tingin kay Jaze.

Jaze gave him a bitter smiled. Kinuha niya ang kamay ni Zak at inilagay iyon sa tiyan niya. Mas lalo akong nanghina sa nasaksihan, tila may patalim na sumasaksak sa puso ko.

Mas lalong nayanig ang mundo ko sa sunod na sinabi ni Jaze.

“I’m pregnant… I’m pregnant with our child, Zak. We’re having a baby.”

Chapter Thirty-One

“Are you kidding me, Jaze?” tila hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Zakarius.

Hindi ako nakagalaw, nanatili akong nakatitig kay Jaze, tila na-blangko ang isip ko. Until now, my whole body is shivering like it’s about to give up. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko… mabigat, ang bigat sa dibdib.

“You know it’s not impossible, Zak. Alam kong alam mo ’yan,” mariing wika ni Jaze habang matiim na nakatitig kay Zakarius.

Nanatili akong nakaupo at hindi makagalaw, kahit yata ang tumayo ay hindi ko magagawa dahil sa panghihina ng buong katawan ko.

Of course it’s not impossible, even though he never loved her, they’ve been together for years. Imposibleng walang nangyari sa kanila ng mga taong ’yon.

Napapitlag ako nang mapatingin si Jaze sa direksyon ko. Tumitig siya nang diretso sa mga mata ko, hindi ko mabasa ang emosyon sa mga mata niya. Wala akong nakikitang emosyon sa mga ’yon.

“Angel, we want to talk privately, if you don’t mind,” she said and gave me a small smile.

Agad na lumapit sa ’kin si Zak at hinawakan ang kamay ko, ngunit nanatili siyang nakatingin kay Jaze.

“We don’t need to talk privately, Angel doesn’t need to–”

Natigilan si Zak nang alisin ko ang pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko. I stood up and distanced myself away from them. I bit my lower lip to suppress my emotions, I tried my best to calm my nerves and act like this situation isn’t affecting me at all.

“It’s fine, talk to her. Hahayaan ko kayong mag-usap.” Halos hindi ko na narinig ang sarili kong boses sa sobrang hina no’n.

Kahit nanghihina ang mga tuhod ko, pinilit ko pa ring ihakbang ang mg paa ko at talikuran silang dalawa. Natigilan ako nang maramdaman kong hinawakan ni Zak ang kamay ko.

“Angel.”

Napapikit ako nang mariin at muling inalis ang pagkakahawak niya sa ’kin at dali daling umalis ng hapag at iniwan sila ro’n. Agad akong nagtungo sa silid ni Zakarius at isinara ang pinto. Nanghihinang nagtungo ako sa kama at umupo ro’n.

With shaking hand, I touched my abdomen. I was about to tell him about our baby… I thought this is the perfect time.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal akong nakatitig sa kawalan, tila naubos ang lahat ng lakas ko sa mga binitiwang salita ni Jaze kanina. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I couldn’t blame anyone on this. Pinili kong mahalin pa rin si Zak kahit alam kong masasaktan ako. Pwede kong piliin na tumakbo kaagad palayo sa kanya noong una pa lang, pero naging mahina ako.

I did my best to stand up even though my whole body’s about to give up. Nagtungo ako sa closet ni Zak at kinuha ro’n ang bag ko. Natigilan ako nang marinig kong bumukas ang pinto sa kwarto.

“Angel.”

Napalingon ako kay Zak, bumaba ang tingin niya sa bag ko. Agad siyang lumapit at inagaw ang bag mula sa ’kin.

“Let me explain first, please,” he mumbled. He looked directly into my eyes and held my wrist. His blue eyes scream emotions I couldn’t read, he seems desperate and scared. Scared to lose me? Nah.

“Kung sasabihin mong sigurado kang hindi ikaw ang ama, maniniwala ako, Zak… T-tatanungin kita ngayon, ikaw ba ang ama ng ipinagbubuntis ni Jaze o hindi?” tanong ko habang nakatitig nang diretso sa mga mata niya.

Naramdaman ko kung paano siya natigilan sa tanong ko. Lumuwag din ang pagkakahawak niya sa ’kin. Napalunok ako kasabay ang malakas na pagtibok ng puso ko… Natatakot ako, natatakot ako sa isasagot niya.

Please, please me that you’re not the father, I’ll believe you… Just say that you’re not.

“I-I… I’m not sure, I can’t answer you now, Angel.”

That’s it.

Kinuha ko mula sa kanya ang bag ko. Sinamantala ko na mukhang nanghihina pa siya kaya agad kong naagaw ang bag mula sa kanya.

“I know Jaze, Zak. Ikaw lang ang lalaki sa buhay niya… Obviously, you are the father of her child,” I said and bit my lower lip, trying to fight my tears from falling.

Zakarius held my hand, his hands are cold.

“Angel, d-don’t leave me. I’ll face my responsibility with her, but please, don’t leave me. You know that I can’t bear to lose you, Angel, you’re my life… I love you so much, baby, p-please, h’wag kang umalis. We can still be together even though… even though…” halos hindi niya maituloy ang sasabihin, nanginginig ang boses niya, nahihirapan na siyang magsalita dahil do’n.

“That’s selfish, Zak. Masyadong makasarili ang gusto mong mangyari,” mariing asik ko at itinulak siya palayo sa akin.

I’m so tempted to agree with what he wants to happen. Tama naman siya, pwede pa rin naman kaming magpatuloy kahit pa may anak na siya sa iba… But I think I’m not selfish enough to accept that.

My tears finally escaped from my eyes. Inalis ko ang pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko at mabilis na pinahid ang mga luha ko.

“Let’s just end this, Zak. Come to think of it, baka naman hindi talaga tayo ang para sa isa’t isa… There are hindrances everywhere, parang ayaw talaga tayong pagsamahin. Prioritize Jaze and your child, mas mahalaga sila, Zakarius. I know that you love me, hindi ko na pinagdududahan ’yon, pero hindi natin pwedeng ipilit kung hindi talaga tayo pwedeng magsama. Isipin mo na lang ang anak niyo ni Jaze… Let’s just stop this, please.”

Pagkasabi no’n, agad akong humakbang palayo at nilagpasan siya. Akmang lalabas na ako ng silid niya nang agad niya akong yakapin mula sa likuran. Agad na nanghina ang buong katawan ko nang maramdaman ko ang mga bisig niyang nakayakap sa akin.

“I… I can’t let you go, Angel, para mo na ring sinabi na mamatay na lang ako. Believe me or not, I can’t live without you now. I finally experienced the love I longed for from you. Please, just give me time to fix this. D-don’t leave me… I love you, I love you so much.”

Hinayaan ko na lang muna siyang yumakap sa akin dahil nanghihina pa ako. Minabuti ko na lang na hindi tumugon sa sinabi niya. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko at napapikit nang mariin. Hindi ako pwedeng magtagal pa rito, baka bumigay na naman ako… baka hindi ko na naman gustuhing umalis sa piling niya.

Muli kong inalis ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin bago pa magbago ang isip ko.

Yes, I’m pregnant with his child too. But unlike Jaze, I have someone beside me, I have my family… Jaze grew up alone all her life. She’s strong and independent, she survived all by herself without anyone to rely on. Hindi niya hinayaan na kaawaan ko siya o ng kahit sino dahil lang sa mag-isa na siya sa buhay mula pa noon. Alam kong matapang siya, pero kailangan na niya ng kasama ngayong magkaka-anak na siya, ’di hamak na mas kailangan niya si Zak sa tabi niya.

“Don’t follow me, Zak, don’t stop me. Kapag sinundan mo ’ko, t-talagang magagalit ako sa ’yo, kamumuhian kita habang buhay.”

Pagkasabi ko no’n, agad kong sinamantala ang pagkakataon at agad na lumabas ng silid niya.

Kapag nagtagal pa ako rito, baka gustuhin ko lang na makasama pa siya.

---

“Break na naman kayo, ’no?”

Hindi ko na lang pinansin ang tanong ni Cadence at itinuloy ang pag-inom ng juice ko. Gusto kong ipahinga ang isip ko kay Zakarius simula nang umalis ako sa bahay niya kagabi, kaso itong si Cadence, nagpunta pa rito.

Ni hindi ko nga siya pinapasok, e. Basta na lang siyang pumasok sa bahay ko na hindi ko alam kung paano niya nagawa. Ano ba’ng ginagawa nila ni Zak at nakakalusot sila sa security system ng bahay ko?

“What are you doing here? ’Di ba dapat si Zakarius ang kinakausap mo dahil siya ang boss mo?” masungit na tanong ni Castor. Napangisi na lang si Cadence.

“E, ikaw? Bakit ka nandito? Nako, grab the chance agad, ’no? Galing mo, Castor, kapag ganyan na malungkot ang puso ni Angel, kailangan niya ng magpapagaan ng kanyang puso,” ma-dramang sabi ni Cadence at napahawak pa sa dibdib niya.

Damn this man, I suddenly want to kick him out. Miyembro ba siya ng akyat-bahay gang? Paano ba kasi siya nakakapasok dito sa bahay ko?

“And besides, neutral akong tao. Kahit pa boss ko si Zakarius, kailangan ko ring mapakinggan ang side ni Ms. Mendoza ’no, saka hindi ko makausap  nang ayos si Zakarius, basta na lang namamaril. Kaya si Angel na lang.” Tumingin sa ’kin si Cadence. “Spill the tea, sis.”

Castor stared at me too, waiting for my answer. I sighed and bit my lower lip, siguro gagaan kahit papa’no ang pakiramdam ko kung sasabihin ko sa kanila.

“Jaze is pregnant, he’s the father.”

Natahimik silang pareho sa sinabi ko. Nanatili akong nakatitig sa basong hawak ko, nararamdaman ko ang kakaibang tingin nilang dalawa. Kahit na si Cadence na madaldal ay saglit na natahimik. Mukhang hindi nga talaga nasabi sa kanya ni Zak ang tungkol doon.

“Tinapos ko na lang lahat sa amin, kailangan si Zak ng magiging anak nila ni Jaze,” mahinang usal ko.

Napatingin ako kay Castor. For some odd reason, I can read what he’s thinking right now… I’m pregnant too, I know, but Jaze needs Zakarius more than I do.

“Baka naman hindi talaga si Zak ang ama? Diba gano’n sa mga palabas?” tanong ni Cadence habang nakahawak sa baba niya na tila nag-iisip.

“Si Zakarius lang ang lalaking dumaan sa buhay ni Jaze. Ayaw ko na lang paasahin ang sarili ko,” sagot ko na lang saka inilapag ang baso sa mini table.

“Ano na’ng plano mo ngayon?” seryosong tanong ni Castor. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at sumandal sa couch saka pumikit.

“I don’t know, gusto ko na lang munang bigyan ng oras ang sarili ko na ipahinga ang isip ko… About Zakarius, I’ll just stay away from him, from them, gusto kong kalimutan na lang niya ako… I know he can do that.”

Cadence sighed and shook his head. Napakamot siya sa batok niya saka tumingin nang diretso sa mga mata ko, ngayon ko lang yata siya nakita na ganitong ka-seryoso.

“Believe me or not, he won’t be able to do that, Angel… Not in this lifetime. Zakarius is madly in love with you. Pustahan nga tayo, mamaya lang, nandito na ’yon, e. Matagal kong nakasama si Zak, alam ko ang lahat tungkol sa kanya, maski na ang tumatakbo sa isip no’n. Kung babae nga lang ako baka nagkatuluyan na kami, e.”

Tiningnan ko nang masama si Cadence. Siniko naman siya ni Castor na katabi niya lang.

“Sige, nakasagap na ’ko ng tsismis. Aalis na ’ko. By the way, Castor, ito na ang chance mo. Fighting!” sabi ni Cadence bago tumayo. Tinapik muna nito ang balikat namin ni Castor bago tuluyang umalis.

Naiwan kami ni Castor. Napatitig na lang ako sa baso at napabuntong hininga. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin alam ang dapat kong gawin.

Dapat bang lumayo na lang ako?

“Paano ka? You’re pregnant too, Angel.”

Napatingin ako kay Castor. Tumayo siya saka umupo sa tabi ko. I smiled bitterly and inhaled deeply, alam kong sasabihin niya ’to.

“I know, but Jaze needs him more. I have everyone on my back, I have my family, Jaze is all by herself… I’ll just go to New Zealand and raise my child there. Tama, ganoon na nga lang. Ayaw kong ipagkait sa magiging anak ni Jaze ang buong pamilya, Castor. I can raise my child alone, I’ll do my best without anyone’s help. I know Jaze can do that too, but I know she doesn’t want her child to experience what she had gone through and so do I, gusto ko na may buong pamilya ang magiging anak ni Jaze,” paliwanag ko. Saglit na natahimik si Castor.

“You care too much about Jaze’s child, but how about your child, Angel? Okay lang ba sa ’yo na lalaki siyang walang kasamang tatay? Your child needs Zakarius too,” sabi ni Castor saka marahang tinapik ang balikat ko.

“But not as much as Jaze’s child does, Jaze needs him too. I can’t be selfish… Hindi ko kaya lalo na kung si Jaze ang pinag-uusapan. She’s still my friend, the only friend that accepted me back then, the only friend that I relied on back then… Siya lang ang kaibigan ko na tumanggap sa akin noong tinalikuran ako ng lahat. Ito na lang ang magagawa ko para sa kanya… Ito na lang.” Halos hangin na lang na lumabas mula sa mga labi ko ang huling sinabi ko.

Natahimik na lang si Castor at hindi na nagsalita pa. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko, hindi na lang ako nagsalita at nanatiling nakatitig sa baso na nasa mini table.

Ngayon alam ko na ang gagawin ko, sa pagkakataong ’to, itutuloy ko na ang balak kong magpunta ng New Zealand at doon palakihin ang anak ko. Pagkatapos kong asikasuhin ang mga kailangan kong gawin, hindi na ako mag-aaksaya ng oras at aalis na kaagad… Ito ang alam kong makabubuti para sa ’ming lahat.

Magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong handa na akong kalimutan si Zak. Sa tingin ko nga ay wala na akong ibang mamahalin maliban sa kanya. Pero hindi ako pwedeng kumapit sa pagmamahal na ’yon, dahil may mas nangangailangan sa kanya… at hindi ako ’yon.

Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko. My lips shivered as well as my hands. Being away from him, out in his life… It feels like I’m already being tortured by just thinking about it. We both waited for the moment when we can finally be together, but it seems like we’re not really for each other… Pinapahirapan lang namin ang mga sarili namin.

“I need to leave as soon as possible, hindi dapat malaman ni Zak na buntis ako.” Napabuntong hininga ako.

“Wow, this shit’s getting more interesting.”

Natigilan kami ni Castor. Tila natulos ako sa kinauupuan ko nang makita si Cadence na nakatayo mula sa di kalayuan. Nakapamulsa siya habang nakasandal sa pader, nakangisi siya habang may pinapaikot na susi sa daliri niya.

Agad kaming napatayo ni Castor. Nanatiling nakangisi sa amin si Cadence, pakiramdam ko hindi siya ang Cad na nakasama ko ng ilang araw… parang ibang Cadence ang nasa harapan ko ngayon… at marahil iyon ang totoong siya.

“Hmm, I wonder, how much will Zak pay me for that important piece

of information? But well, that’s not the important question here, right?”

Naglakad si Cadence papalapit sa amin habang pinapaikot ang susi sa daliri niya. Napalunok ako at bahagyang napaatras nang nasa tapat ko na siya. Nanginginig ang mga tuhod ko sa hindi malamang dahilan.

Napahawak ako nang mahigpit sa damit ko… Hindi, hindi dapat malaman ni Zak ang tungkol dito.

Cadence gently held my chin and stared directly into my eyes. Halos magtayuan ang mga balahibo ko nang bigyan niya ako nang kakaibang ngisi… That grin is up to no good.

“What will Zakarius Cavalcante do once I tell him that you’re pregnant with his child?”

Chapter Thirty-Two

Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal naglalabanan ng titig ni Cadence. Gusto kong malaman ang tumatakbo sa isip niya ngayon pero hindi ko mabasa… mukhang hindi ko pa talaga ganoong kilala si Cadence.

“A-ano’ng dapat kong gawin para hindi mo sabihin kay Zak?” nauutal na tanong ko.

Mas lalong napangisi si Cadence sa sinabi ko. Bahagya siyang lumayo sa ’kin, doon lang ako nakahinga nang maluwag. Napakamot si Cad sa kilay niya saka umupo sa couch.

“Iyon naman pala, e. Dapat kanina mo pa sinabi ’yan,” natatawang sabi ni Cadence saka ipinatong ang mga paa niya sa mini table.

“What are you up to?” Castor asked. He took Cad’s collar and made him stand up. Bahagyang namumula ang mukha niya at mukhang handa ng suntukin si Cadence.

“Castor,” pagpigil ko sa kanya. Hinawakan ko ang braso niya upang pakalmahin siya.

“Chill ka lang diyan, bro. Madadaan naman ’to sa maayos na usapan, kalma ka lang,” sabi ni Cad saka inalis ang pagkakahawak sa kanya ni Castor.

“Go straight to the point, Cadence. What do you want me to do for you to keep your mouth shut?” I asked and gritted my teeth.

I shouldn’t have trust him in the first place. Masyado akong nagpadala sa pagiging easygoing niya.

“How much can you offer, Angel? Kaya mo bang lamangan ang ibabayad ni Zakarius sa akin kung sakali? I know you’re aware about Zakarius’ wealth, it’s unimaginable. He can buy anything in just a snap of his finger… Kaya mo bang lamangan ’yon?”

Natahimik ako sa tanong ni Cad. Lalong nanlamig ang mga kamay ko sa tanong niya. Napalunok ako at pilit na pinakalma ang sarili ko.

Kahit sa panaginip, hinding hindi ko malalamangan ang kayang ibayad ni Zak sa kanya.

“How much do you want? Ako ang magbabayad,” seryosong sabi ni Castor.

My eyes widened and my lips parted in shock, Castor seemed serious. Walang bahid ng pagbibiro sa mukha niya.

Pinagpag ni Cadence ang damit niya saka ngumiti kay Castor. Tinapik-tapik niya ang balikat nito.

“Hmm, pag-iisipan ko pa. For now, chill muna kayo, guys. Don’t worry, hindi ko sasabihin kay Zak habang nag-iisip ako. Bigyan niyo ’ko ng 3-5 days para makapag-presyo. Sige, sibat na ’ko. Bye, friends!” Tinalukuran na kami ni Cadence, akmang aalis na siya ngunit agad ding natigilan. Lumapit siya ulit sa akin saka hinarap ako, napakunot na lang ang noo ko.

“What?” I asked and raised my eyebrow. I don’t want to show him that I’m intimidated, I’m still mad thinking that I trusted him. He’s just a manipulative assh-le na mukhang pera!

“Bakit hindi mo na lang sabihin kay Zak? Para wala kang pino-problema,” sabi ni Cadence. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa kanya.

“Wala ka na ro’n!” asik ko at bahagyang tinulak ang dibdib niya.

“Ouch naman, parang wala tayong pinagsamahan, ah. Pero sige, ikaw ang bahala.” Napakibit-balikat siya.

Nakangising tinalikuran na kami ni Cadence bago ito tuluyang lumabas ng bahay ko. Tila nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang makaalis na siya. Nanghihinang napaupo na lang ako sa couch at napahilot sa sentido ko.

I don’t know what Cadence is up to, I don’t even know if I’m going to take him seriously or not. Nagbibiro lang ba siya tungkol sa mga sinabi niya kanina? O baka naman didiretso kaagad siya kay Zak para humingi ng pera kapalit ng nalaman niya?

Castor sat beside me and inhaled deeply. I remained silent and closed my eyes. I don’t know what to do anymore… bakit ba kasi hindi ko naramdaman na nandoon si Cadence?

“Hindi ka naman siguro ilalaglag kaagad ni Cad, he may be a jerk, but I think he’s not gonna do that. Sa ngayon, magtiwala muna tayo sa sinabi niyang hindi niya sasabihin kay Zak. H’wag kang masyadong mag-isip nang mag-isip, baka makasama pa sa baby mo,” tila nag-aalalang sabi ni Castor saka hinawakan ang kamay ko. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at tipid na ngumiti sa kanya.

Sana nga… Sana nga mapagkatiwalaan ko ang Cadence na ’yon.

---

“In-announce na namin sa media ang tungkol sa pag-alis mo sa showbiz world. Sure ka ba na wala kang last say para sa fans mo? Ni wala ka man lang statement or kahit goodbye short clip sa kanila.”

I looked at myself in the mirror and shook my head. I sighed and rolled my eyes even though Cassian can’t see me. Goodbye short clip? What the hell is that for? Kailangan pa ba no’n? Wala na nga yata akong fans, e.

“You know that I have no plans on clearing my name whatsoever, right? Wala na rin naman ako sa showbiz, para saan pa ang goodbye shits na ’yan? Besides, close-minded ang mga tao sa ’kin, baka kapag nag-release pa ako ng formal retirement sa showbiz, lalo lang akong i-bash ng mga tao. I’m so done with that, Cassian. Gusto ko na lang mamuhay nang tahimik.” Kasama ang anak ko.

“Okay, fine, if that’s what you want. Alam mo na ha, kahit wala ka na sa showbiz, one call away pa rin kami ni Chan. H’wag kang mahihiya na tawagan kami o puntahan, bibisitahin ka rin namin ni Chan diyan kapag hindi kami busy. Stay healthy ha, h’wag kang magmukmok,” tila natatawang sabi ni Cassian sa kabilang linya. Napairap na lang ako ngunit natatawa rin.

“Hindi ako magmumukmok ’no. By the way, kumusta na kayo ni Chan?” tila nanunuksong tanong ko.

“Anong kumusta kami ni Chan ang sinasabi mo riyan? Bye na nga, saka nga pala, h’wag ka ng magbukas ng social media accounts, kung maaari i-take down mo na ang mga accounts mo. H’wag ka na ring magbasa ng comments, magpahinga ka na lang. Kapag natuloy ka sa New Zealand, bibisitahin ka pa rin namin ni Chan. Teka nga pala, isasama mo ba si Director Cavalcante sa New Zealand?”

Napawi ang ngiti ko sa tanong niya. Hindi niya nga pala alam na hiwalay na kami ni Zak. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at napailing.

“Bye na, magpapahinga na ’ko.” Hindi ko na hinintay na sumagot siya at agad ko ng tinapos ang tawag.

Tumayo ako at nagtungo sa kama saka umupo ro’n. Napatingin ako sa passport na nasa ibabaw ng bedside table.

Bakit pakiramdam ko ayaw ko pang umalis?

Umaasa ba ako na magbabago ang sitwasyon? Umaasa ba ako na baka may pag-asa pa rin kami ni Zak?

Natigilan ako sa malalim na pag-iisip nang tumunog ang phone ko. Napasinghap ako nang makitang gustong makipag-video call ni Mommy. Agad kong inayos ang buhok ko, tiningnan ko muna ang sarili ko sa salamin upang siguruhin na maayos ang hitsura ko bago ko sinagot ang tawag.

Bumungad sa ’kin ang magandang mukha ng Mommy ko.

“My baby Angel! I missed you so much, my baby!”

Napangiti ako sa agad na bungad ni Mommy, kahit matanda na ako, baby pa rin yata ako sa paningin niya.

“Hello, Mommy! Na-miss din po kita. Where’s Dad po?” tanong ko.

“Surprise! I’m here!” Biglang sumulpot si Daddy na katabi lang pala ni Mommy. Natawa na lang ako.

My Dad is a full blood Brazilian and he’s the sweetest Dad ever, my Mom is a Filipina, she’s sweet too, pero nakakatakot siyang magalit, she’s kinda strict too.

“Angel, kailan ka uuwi rito, anak?” tanong ni Mommy. Napatango naman si Dad, he can speak tagalog. Ilang taon din si Dad sa Pilinas hanggang sa nakilala niya si Mommy na accountant during that time.

Aware sila sa nangyari sa akin, alam nila kung paano nasira ang pangalan ko sa showbiz pero hindi nila ako sinermunan. Kakausapin na lang daw nila ako kapag nasa New Zealand na ako, but knowing them, they’ll just comfort me, hindi nila ako papagalitan o anuman.

“Come here immediately, Angel. I’m so excited to hug my favorite anak,” my Dad said with a wide smile. I just chuckled and rolled my eyes.

“I’m your only anak , Dad,” natatawang sabi ko.

Matagal din kaming nag-kwentuhan nina Mommy. Ang hindi pa nila alam hanggang ngayon ay ang tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko. Wala pa akong lakas ng loob na sabihin sa kanila ’yon ngayon. Lalo na’t wala akong maipapakilalang tatay sa kanila, talagang magagalit nang sobra sina Mommy.

Napailing na lang ako at nagbukas ng social media, I think I should listen to Cassian’s advice and delete my social media accounts, it will just be a hindrance to my going to be peaceful life.

Bumungad agad sa akin ang article ng pag-alis ko sa showbiz. Sinubukan kong pigilan ang ko ang sarili ko na basahin ang comments pero hindi ko rin napigilan.

Sayang, mababawasan ang malalandi sa showbiz industry.

Baka tinakbuhan na siya ni Director Cavalcante, lol.

Mas maganda sana kung mawala na rin siya sa earth.

Baka wala na siyang mautong direktor kasi laos na siya.

Y’all stop bashing her, kung makapang-bash naman kayo sa kanya parang nakapatay siya ng tao. Nakalimutan niyo na yata kung gaanong karami ang natulungan niya. Puro kasi negative ang nakikita niyo sa tao. May pagkasuplada lang talaga siya pero ang bait niya.

Napangiti na lang ako nang makitang may isang nagtanggol sa akin. Binasa ko ang mga replies sa kanya at kahit papa’no, napagaan ang loob ko nang makitang may mga ibang nagtanggol din sa akin do’n.

Ang nag-iisang positive comment na ’yon na lang ang itatatak ko sa isip ko bago ko tuluyang burahin ang accounts ko.

Natigilan ako nang muling tumunog ang phone ko. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako nang makita ang number ni Jaze sa caller ID. Huminga muna ako nang malalim at pinakalma ang sarili ko bago ko sinagot ang tawag niya.

Hindi muna ako nagsalita at hinintay siya na magsalita, saglit din siyang natahimik.

“Pwede ba tayong mag-usap bukas?” she asked in a low tone. I bit my lower lip and sighed.

“What for? I bet you don’t even want to see me.” I tried to sound strong and unaffected as best as I could. I can do that, I know I can.

“I know you still want to fix our friendship, and so do I. Let’s talk tomorrow, here in my house. Zak will be here too… I know you’re aware that you can’t have him, right? You’re aware that you shouldn’t give him false hope because you two can’t be together now, right?”

Natahimik ako sa tanong niya. Tila malakas na sampal sa mukha ko ang mga binitiwan niyang salita. Gusto ng puso ko na sabihing ‘hindi’, ngunit iba ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

“Of course, I know.”

I shouldn’t give myself false hope too, right? Zak and I wouldn’t be together again, we’re not meant to be together.

---

“Bakit sumama ka pa?”

Natawa na lang si Castor at sinuklay ang buhok niya gamit ang kamay niya.

“May sinabi ba si Jaze na bawal akong sumama?” nakangising tanong niya. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa kanya at napaismid.

Nanatili kami sa loob ng kotse niya. Nasa tapat na kami ng bahay ni Jaze ngunit ayaw ko pang pumasok. Parang gusto ko na lang mag-back out at umuwi.

“Hindi dapat nawawala ang second lead sa mga ganitong scene, Angel. Second lead ako sa buhay mo,” tila natatawang sabi ni Castor. Natawa na lang din ako at pabiro siyang hinampas sa braso, kahit papa’no napagaan no’n ang loob ko.

“Ikaw ang leading man ng sarili mong kuwento, wala pa kasi yung leading lady,” sabi ko na lang at tinapik ang balikat niya. Napangisi na lang siya at napailing.

Matapos amg ilan pang minutong pagtambay sa kotse, napagdesiyunan din namin na tuluyang lumabas ng kotse. Agad na nagbukas ang pinto pagkatapos kong pindutin ang doorbell sa gate, pinagbuksan kami ng katulong ni Jaze.

Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko habang naglalakad kami papasok sa loob. Inakbayan naman ako ni Castor at marahang tinapik ang balikat ko na tila pinapakalma ako. Huminga na lang ako nang malalim.

Dumiretso kami sa dining area. Naabutan ko ro’n sina Jaze at Zak na seryosong nag-uusap.

Naramdaman siguro nila ang presensya namin ni Castor kaya agad silang napalingon sa direksyon namin.

“Angel.” Jaze stood up and smiled at me. I just gave her an awkward smile. This is really not a good idea. We won’t be able to fix anything, hindi na namin maibabalik ni Jaze sa dati ang pagkakaibigan namin, alam kong imposible na ’yon.

“Maupo kayo,” nakangiting sabi niya. Napatango na lang ako.

Umupo na kami ni Castor. Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na mapatingin kay Zak na katapat ni Castor ngunit hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko.

I gasped when our eyes met, he’s looking at me too. I just avoided his intense gaze and looked at my plate. Looking at him won’t be good, I’ll just end up giving in again. His eyes are enough to make me feel weak, his eyes are enough to make me love him more.

“Nabalitaan ko kay Cassian na pupunta ka na ng New Zealand.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Jaze, nanatiling tahimik si Zak at walang kibo na tila ba alam na niya ang tungkol doon. Tipid na ngumiti na lang ako at tumango.

“Oo, gusto rin kasi ng mga magulang ko na sa New Zealand na ’ko tumira,” tipid na sagot ko na lang.

I was taken aback when Jaze held my hand. She sighed and stared directly into my eyes. There’s an emotion in her eyes that I couldn’t read. Is that sadness? Nah, it’s impossible. She hates me.

“Attend our wedding first before you go, Angel.”

Pakiramdam ko natulos ako sa kinauupuan ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Nanatili namang nakatingin sa akin si Jaze habang nakahawak sa kamay ko. Pakiramdam ko hinang hina ako, pakiramdam ko anumang oras bibigay ang katawan ko.

Naisip ko na na pwedeng mangyari ’to, pero bakit tila may sumasaksak pa rin na patalim sa puso ko? Bakit ang bilis? Bakit magpapakasal sila kaagad?

Paano kung… Paano kung hindi naman pala si Zak ang ama? Paano kung iba pala?

Bakit ko ba pinapaasa ang sarili ko?

Ako ang pumiling tapusin ang lahat sa amin ni Zak, bakit ko pinapaasa ang sarili ko sa mga imposibleng bagay? This is reality, I’m not in a drama where impossible circumstances happen… This is reality that says Zak and I aren’t made for each other.

“Naka-schedule na ang flight ko,” tipid na sagot ko na lang at marahang inalis ang pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko, hindi ko matagalan ’yon, parang mainit na bagay ’yon na pumapaso at lumulusaw sa kamay ko paakyat sa buong katawan ko… hindi ko matagalan.

“H’wag ka munang umalis agad, Angel. Diba aayusin pa natin ang friendship natin? Gusto ko sana na maayos na tayong dalawa bago ka umalis,” sabi pa ni Jaze habang nakatitig sa mga mata ko.

I closed my eyes tightly and inhaled deeply. I can’t take this anymore. I sacrificed my happiness with Zakarius for her, siguro naman ay may karapatan na akong gawin ’to.

Nakipaglabanan ako ng titig kay Jaze.

“I don’t want to,” mariing wika ko.

Her eyes widened, her lips parted in shock. I raised my eyebrow and smirked at her. I’m so done with this, ayos na sa akin ang matapos ang pagkakaibigan namin ng may lamat kaysa magpanggap ako na ayos lang ang lahat sa aming dalawa kahit alam kong hindi.

“Let’s just stop this facade, Jaze. This doesn’t suit us, hindi na natin maibabalik ang dati. This whole thing makes me puke. I don’t want to reconcile with you, I don’t wanna act like everything’s fine. Zakarius is now yours, ang selfish mo naman kung hihilingin mo pa na magkaayos tayo.” I stood up and took a deep breath.

Halata pa rin ang gulat sa mga mata ni Jaze dahil sa mga binitiwan kong salita, si Zak naman ay nanatiling walang emosyon habang nakatingin sa akin… Hindi ko alam kung saan ko kinuha ang lakas ng loob na sabihin ang mga ’yon, pakiramdam ko lang na dapat.

“Let’s go, Castor.”

Agad akong umalis ng dining area, sumunod naman kaagad sa akin si Castor. Nanatili siyang tahimik hanggang sa makabalik na kami ng kotse.

Napahawak na lang ako nang mariin sa sling bag ko. Akala ko pagkatapos kong sabihin ang mga ’yon kay Jaze, mas lalong bibigat ang pakiramdan ko.

But oddly, it somewhat makes me feel good, maybe, I just have to release everything inside.

Napapitlag ako nang maramdaman kong may kumalampag sa bintana ng kotse, gano’n na lang ang gulat ko nang makitang si Zak ang gumawa no’n. Matiim siyang nakatititg sa akin mula sa bintana.

“Let’s talk.”

Hindi ko gaanong narinig ang sinabi niyang ’yon pero alam kong iyon ang ibig niyang sabihin.

My system is in ruckus again. Presensya lang niya, sapat na para magkagulo na naman ang sistema ko… hinding hindi na yata talaga ako makakawala sa pagmamahal sa kanya.

Akmang lalabas na ako para harapin siya ngunit agad na nahawakan ni Castor ang braso ko. He looked at me with concern in his eyes, I just gave him a small smiled and nodded. Napabuntong hininga na lang siya bago binitiwan ang braso ko.

Lumabas na ako ng kotse upang harapin si Zak.

“What the hell do you want?” I asked in a bitch tone. I should be strong, I know I can do this.

He held my hand and looked directly into my eyes, I almost melted because of the intensity of his stare. I can see lots of emotion in his eyes which is unusual… he seems scared, sad, hopeless… I don’t know anymore.

“W-why are you giving me to her just like that?”

My heart almost stopped beating when his voice cracked. I avoided his gaze and suppress myself from pulling him into a tight hug. I miss him so much, I miss everything about him…

“Face your responsibility and don’t bother me again, Zak.” I looked at him, I did my best to look unaffected, to look strong. “Do you want me to be honest with you?”

Natigilan siya sa tanong ko.

“I hate you, Zak. Galit na galit ako sa ’yo dahil nagkaanak kayo ni Jaze!” Lies. “Kaya h’wag mo ng hayaan na mas lalo kitang kamuhian, h’wag na h’wag ka ng magpapakita sa akin kahit kailan. Makita ko pa lang ang pagmumukha mo, nangingitngit na ang kalooban ko sa galit. H’wag ka ng magpapakita sa ’kin ulit dahil napalitan na ng galit ang pagmamahal ko sa ’yo!”

Hindi ko na hinintay na makasagot siya, agad akong sumakay ng kotse.

“Let’s go, Castor.”

Tila naging signal iyon ni Castor upang paandarin ang sasakyan. Napatingin ako kay kay Zak mula sa side mirror ng kotse. Agad na nanlabo ang paningin ko kasabay ng pag-alpas ng mga luha mula sa mga mata ko.

Bakit gano’n? Bakit ako rin ang nasaktan sa mga binitiwan kong salita sa kanya?

Chapter Thirty-Three

I didn’t know that pushing someone you love away would be this painful. Naiisip ko pa lang na nasasaktan si Zak sa mga sabi ko at pagtaboy ko sa kanya, sobrang nasasaktan na ako… Knowing Zak, he’s a crybaby.

“I can’t say that you did the right thing, I’m in no place to judge that. Ang gusto ko lang, hindi mo pagsisihan ang mga nagiging desisyon mo at pag-isipan mo munang maigi.”

Napatingin ako kay Castor na seryoso ang mukha at tutok ang tingin sa daan habang nagmamaneho. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at mapait na napangiti.

“Hindi mo lang siguro napapansin, pero palagi mong kinakampihan si Zak sa mga ganitong sitwasyon,” napapailing na sabi ko at natawa na lang.

“Hindi naman,” pagtanggi niya saka napakamot sa kilay niya.

Natahimik na lang ako at napatingin sa bintana. Pinanood ko ang mga gusaling nadadaanan namin na iba iba ang hitsura at ang taas. Siguro dapat ko ng samantalahin ang mga huling araw ko rito sa Pilipinas. I’ll stay in New Zealand for good, together with my child. I’ll find a stable job there and will live peacefully. To be honest, I will surely miss the showbiz world, but I don’t want to go back there again, lalo pa’t magkakaanak na ako.

Nagpahatid na lang ako kay Castor pauwi, bukas na lang ako maggagala-gala bago ako tuluyang umalis. Masyadong na-drain ang energy ko sa nangyari kanina. Gusto ko na lang munang matulog nang matulog ngayong araw.

“Call me if you need something!” sabi ni Castor mula sa loob ng kotse niya. Napangiti na lang ako sa kanya saka tuluyang pumasok sa bahay.

Dumiretso ako sa kuwarto at agad na humiga sa kama. Ni hindi kami inabot ng isang oras ni Castor sa bahay ni Jaze pero napagod agad ako nang ganito.

“Get up, Angel. Get up,” I murmured to myself. I need to take a shower first before I go to sleep, pero ang bigat masyado ng katawan ko at hindi ako makabangon.

Ipinikit ko na lang muna ang mga mata ko para saglit na umidlip. Kahit saglit lang ipapahinga ko muna ang isipan ko kina Jaze at Zak. Gusto ko muna ng katahimikan sa isip ko kahit saglit lang.

NAPABALIKWAS ako ng bangon nang magising ako. I looked at the wall clock and gasped when I saw the time. 4 pm na pala, ang haba ng tulog ko. Baka naman wala na akong itulog nito mamaya.

Napahawak ako sa sentido ko at kinuha ang phone ko. Tatawagan ko na lang muna si Chan, pupuntahan ko siya kung hindi siya busy para makapagpaalam ako nang ayos sa kanya. Malaki rin ang naging utang na loob ko sa lalaking ’yon dahil naka-tiyaga siya sa akin ng ilang taon… Pero malaki rin ang utang na loob niya sa ’kin dahil napagtiyagaan ko ang katangahan niya paminsan-minsan.

Natigilan ako nang makitang hindi ko pa pala nabubura ang instagram account ko. Napangiwi ako at tiningnan muna ’yon bago ko burahin.

Natigilan ako nang makita ang trending sa social media ngayon.

Picture ni Castor na natutulog sa kama, may kasama siyang babae na siyang kumuha ng photo na ’yon. Nakangiti ang babae sa picture at naka-peace sign. Mukhang lasing si Castor dahil namumula pa ang mukha niya sa picture.

kleinczenith: with Castor Raven wahhh! Nananaginip lang ba ako? Huhu. Ang gwapo niya sobra 😭

Napailing na lang ako dahil puro bashers ang nasa comment section, halos lahat bina-bash ang babae sa picture. Kesyo creepy raw ito at desperada… hindi na ’ko nagulat, wild talaga ang mga fans ni Castor.

Ini-stalk ko ang babae sa picture. Artista rin pala ito, underrated actress, I guess? Kaunti lang ang followers nito, kung may mga comments man sa kanya, puro bashers. Marami na talaga siyang bashers bago niya pa i-post ang picture nila ni Castor. Bakit naman kaya ang dami niyang bashers? She looks sweet and kind, she’s beautiful too. But well, it won’t be good for Castor’s career to be involved with her.

Agad kong tinatawagan si Castor, nakailang ring din bago niya nasagot. Mukhang busy talaga siya dahil sa issue niya ngayon.

“Hello.” He sounds stressed out. Hindi na ako nagulat.

“Ano’ng meron ha? Sino yung girl na kasama mo sa picture? Siya na ba ang leading lady sa buhay mo?” tila nanunuksong tanong ko.

“She’s not,” tila naiinis na sabi nito. Natigilan ako. Parang ngayon ko lang yata narinig na ganito ang tono ng boses niya, maliban na lang kapag si Zak ang kausap niya. Mukhang problema talaga ang dinala sa kanya ng babaeng kasama niya sa picture.

“Why not? She’s beautiful,” I said while looking for that woman’s pictures.

Gusto kong malaman ang dahilan bakit marami siyang bashers, bukod sa picture nilang dalawa ni Castor.

“I need to take care of something, bye.”

My forehead creased when Castor immediately ended the call. I just shook my head and chuckled.

Parang ayaw ko muna tuloy umalis, parang gusto ko munang masaksihan ang magiging love life ni Castor.

---

“Wow, ililibre mo talaga ako, Angel? Kahit anong gusto ko?!” excited na tanong ni Chan habang nakahawak sa braso ko.

I glared at him and smack his arm. Napaka-ingay talaga ng lalaking ’to.

“Hinaan mo nga ang boses mo. Para saan pa ’tong disguise ko kung ipagsisigawan mo rin pala ang pangalan ko?!” naiinis na asik ko. Napaismid na lang si Chan saka napanguso.

Naka-face mask pa ako at naka-shades para lang hindi makilala kahit mukha akong ewan para lang mabili ko ang mga gusto niya rito sa mall.

“Bakit? Ikaw lang ba ang Angel ang pangalan sa mundo?” bulong niya na narinig ko naman. Inirapan ko na lang siya.

“Whatever, just say what you want me to buy for you, anything… h’wag lang house and lot at kotse,” sabi ko na lang saka hinila siya.

Napahawak si Chan sa baba niya na tila nag-iisip.

“Ah, I want donuts and sundae,” nakangiting sabi niya saka itinuro ang stall ng donuts. Napakunot ang noo ko.

“Iyon lang ang gusto mo?”

“Hindi, meron pa, pero nagugutom na ako, e. Halika!” Hinila niya ako sa bilihan ng donuts. Nagpatianod na lang ako sa kanya.

Ibinili ko siya ng isang box ng donuts. Kinain niya ’yon habang naglalakad kami.

“Angel, ito!” Itinuro ni Chan ang bilihan ng keychain na tag-fifty pesos lang yata. Hinila niya ako papunta ro’n.

“Ano riyan ang want mo?” tanong ko.

Ipinakita niya sa ’kin ang keychain na dalawang heart na kulay pink na may balahibo na parang ewan. Napatango na lang ako at binayaran ’yon.

“What else do you want?” I asked. Chan attached the keychain on his bag’s zipper.

“Wala na.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya.

“Wala na?” I asked as if I heard it wrong. Chan nodded like a kid while staring at his keychain.

“Oo, iyon lang naman ang gusto ko, e,” sagot naman niya.

Bakit hindi man lang siya nagpa-libre ng mamahaling damit or alahas? Sinabi ko naman sa kanya na ililibre ko siya ng kahit anong gusto niya. Nahirapan akong ilibre siya dahil puro mumurahin ang gusto niya, puro blue bills lang ang laman ng wallet ko… Hmm, kaya siguro siya nagustuhan ni Cassian.

“Chan, who’s Klein Czenith na nai-issue kay Castor ngayon? Nilibre talaga kita ngayon para maki-tsismis dahil ayaw magkwento ni Castor.” at para na rin malimutan sina Jaze at Zak kahit sandali.

“Ah, si Klein, artista rin siya sa agency ni Cassian. Palagi siyang nagpapa-picture sa ’yo noon kada nakikita ka niya sa agency. Hindi mo ba naaalala?” tanong ni Chan.

“I don’t remember,” I murmured and held my chin.

“Sumisikat na siya noon, kaso na-issue siya na naging kabit ng isa ring sikat na artista, may issue pa siyang isa na nalimutan ko. Kaya ayun, nag top 4 siya last year sa most hated celebrities in the Philippines. Hindi siya inalis ni Cassian sa agency kasi nakakaawa. Ang malas lang talaga ni Castor at kay Klein pa siya na-involve, pero ginagawan na naman nina Cassian ng paraan ’yung issue ngayon.”

Napapatango na lang ako habang nagku-kuwento si Chan. I don’t want to judge that Klein girl easily, baka naman naipit lang siya sa sitwasyon or what.

“By the way, wala ka na ba talagang gusto?” tanong ko pa kay Chan. Tumango naman siya agad.

Natigilan ako nang mapatingin sa store ng home appliances. Agad na nanghina ang mga tuhod ko nang makita ro’n sina Zak at Jaze. Napalunok ako at napakapit nang mahigpit sa braso ni Chan upang kumuha ng lakas.

May ipanakitang oven si Jaze kay Zak. Bahagyang ngumiti si Zak saka tumango. Pakiramdam ko may mabigat na dumagan sa dibdib ko dahil sa nasaksihan.

“Angel, are you alright?” tila nag-aalalang tanong ni Chan.

I smiled faintly at him and nodded. I took a deep breath to calm myself. Hindi ko dapat nararamdaman ’to, wala na akong karapatan maramdaman ’to pagkatapos kong itaboy si Zakarius.

“I’m fine… I-I just want to go home, sorry, Chan. N-nahilo kasi ako, e. Mauuna na ’ko.”

Hindi ko na hinintay na makasagot si Chan, agad ko siyang tinalikuran. Nagmamadali akong lumabas ng mall dahil pakiramdam ko bibigay na ang mga tuhod ko anumang oras.

I finally have a reason to leave as soon as possible. Just seeing them together like that, smiling at each other, already pains me… paano pa kaya kapag ikinasal na sila?

Akmang papasok na ako ng kotse nang may humawak sa braso ko. Agad akong napalingon sa humawak no’n at gano’n na lang ang gulat ko nang makitang si Zakarius ’yon.

“Angel,” he murmured. I gulped and removed his grip on my arm.

“W-what are you doing here?” I asked, I tried to sound strong and unbothered but my own voice failed me.

Zakarius removed my shades and looked into my eyes directly. Nanghina ang mga tuhod ko nang mapatingin ako sa asul niyang mga mata. I pushed his chest and took my shades from him.

“Why are you crying?” he asked and held my cheeks gently. He wiped my tears there with much gentleness and care.

I felt like I’m hypnotized while he was caressing my cheeks. I was about to push him away again but I ended up touching his chest, tila roon ako kumapit at kumuha ng lakas dahil pakiramdam ko bibigay na ang katawan ko anumang oras.

Napatingin ako sa paligid, walang masyadong tao rito pero paniguradong may makakakilala pa rin sa amin.

Zakarius held my chin and made me face him. He sighed and hugged my waist, he rested his chin on my shoulder and hugged me tightly, tila ba wala siyang pakialam kahit pa may makakita o makakilala sa amin.

“Nagseselos ka ba?” tila bulong na tanong niya. Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko at sinubukan siyang itulak ngunit mas hinigpitan niya lang ang yakap sa akin.

“H-hindi ako nagseselos! Lumayo ka nga sa akin!” Sinubukan ko ulit siyang itulak ngunit nagmatigas siya.

“I’m sorry for making you cry,” he muttered and buried his face on my neck. I hissed and tried to push him again, hindi ba siya nahihiya sa mga makakakita?!

Tila nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang kumalas na siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin, pero hindi ko alam kung bakit parang lumamig ulit nung hindi na siya nakayakap sa ’kin… pakiramdam ko may kulang na ulit sa pagkatao ko.

Natigilan ako nang ngumiti siya sa akin saka kinurot ang magkabilang pisngi ko.

“Let’s talk later, hmm? I’ll go to your house and we’ll talk about something. H’wag ka ng umiyak, I don’t love her, I will never love her. Ikaw lang ang mahal ko,” anas niya saka dinampian ng halik ang noo ko.

Agad na nag-init ang magkabilang pisngi ko sa ginawa niya. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin at itinulak siya sa dibdib niya.

“W-wala tayong pag-uusapan, doon ka na lang kay Jaze, saka ’di ba sabi ko magagalit na talaga ako kapat nagpakita ka pa sa ’kin?!”

Napabuntong hininga si Zak sa sinabi ko.

“Don’t you love me anymore? Mag-uusap lang naman tayo, e,” he said and avoided my gaze.

My heart almost fell when his lips slightly pouted. I bit my lower lip and took a deep breath… What the hell? Bakit siya nagpapa-cute sa akin nang ganyan?

Akala niya yata ay madadaan niya ’ko sa ganyan.

“Fine! Ano ba’ng pag-uusapan natin?!” naiinis na tanong ko.

Zakarius’ face gleamed with delight and smiled at me again. Hinawakan niya ang dalawang kamay ko.

“We will talk about us,” sabi niya habang nakahawak pa rin sa mga kamay ko.

“Why will we talk about us? Baka nakakalimutan mo na may responsibilidad ka kay Jaze?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko.

“I know… pero mamayang gabi, magkakabalikan na tayo,” tila confident na sabi niya. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa mga mata niya at bahagya siyang itinulak palayo.

“Ewan ko sa ’yo!” asik ko saka agad na pumasok sa loob ng kotse ko saka pinaharurot ’yon.

Naramdaman ko ang mga kamay kong nanginginig pa rin habang nakahawak sa manibela. Napalunok na lang ako at pilit na pinakalma ang sarili ko.

What the hell? Muntik na naman akong bumigay sa kanya.

ILANG ORAS na rin yata ang nakalipas simula ng makauwi ako galing sa mall, pero ito pa rin ako, nakatulala habang nakaupo sa kama ko.

Ano ba’ng dapat kong gawin?

Parang ayaw ko na lang na mag-usap kami, paano kung bumigay na talaga ako nang tuluyan sa kanya? Paano si Jaze at ang anak nila ni Zak?

Napabalikwas na lang ako ng tayo saka agad na kinuha ang maleta ko na ilang araw ng nakahanda. Siguro ay tataguan ko na lang siya, kay Chan na lang muna ako mags-stay hangga’t hindi ako naalis.

Hindi kami pwedeng mag-usap ni Zak. Sigurado ako na kapag nag-usap kami sa pagkakataong ’to, bibigay na talaga ako nang tuluyan… at hindi pwedeng mangyari ’yon, hindi .

Kinuha ko ang phone ko at agad na tinawagan si Chan, laking pasasalamat ko nang sagutin niya kaagad ang tawag ko.

“Hello, Angel, bakit ka napatawag?” tanong ni Chan.

“Pwede bang diyan muna ’ko sa ’yo tumuloy. Don’t worry, malapit na rin naman akong umalis, kailangan ko lang muna ng matutuluyan,” sabi ko na lang saka kinagat ang kuko ko.

“No problem, wait kita rito.” Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya.

“Thank you!”

Agad akong lumabas ng bahay nang matapos kong tawagan si Chan. Hindi na ako nagdala ng kotse, sumakay na lang ako ng taxi papunta sa bahay ni Chan.

Hindi ko maiwasang hindi mapaisip habang nasa loob ako ng taxi. Ayos lang ba na hindi ko na pakinggan si Zak?

Napailing na lang ako at huminga nang malalim. Haharapin ko na lang ang desisyon kong ’to.

Natigilan ako nang mag-vibrate ang phone ko. Napakunot ang noo ko nang makitang kay Cadence galing ang text.

Cadence:

Pasensya ka na ha, God bless.

Ano raw? Ano’ng ibig sabihin ng text na ’to?

Magre-reply na sana ako ngunit biglang tumigil ang taxi. Napakunot ang noo ko, at nagtatakang napatingin sa driver.

“Manong, bakit po kayo tumigil?” nagtatakang tanong ko.

“Ma’am, ano po kasi… may nakaharang na kotse sa daraanan natin,” sagot ng driver at napakamot sa batok niya.

Napatingin ako sa daan, may nakaharang nga na itim na kotse ro’n. Napakunot ang noo ko nang mapagtantong tila pamilyar ang kotseng ’yon.

Bumigat ang paghinga ko nang bumaba na ang driver ng kotse na nakaharang sa harapan namin, nakasuot ito ng itim na leather jacket. Mas lalong bumigat ang paghinga ko nang mapagtantong si Zakarius ’yon.

Lumapit siya sa taxi at tumingin sa akin mula sa bintana. He’s glaring at me as if I did something unforgivable.

“Labas!” sigaw niya habang nakatitig nang masama sa akin. Napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin sa kanya.

Bakit siya nagagalit?

“Manong, umikot na lang po tayo,” sabi ko na lang sa driver.

Kinatok ni Zak ang bintana ng taxi driver. Napabuntong hininga na lang si manong at ibinaba ang bintana niya. Napasinghap ako nang makitang inabutan ng pera ni Zak si manong. Napakamot na lang si manong sa batok niya.

Muling bumalik sa akin si Zak at binuksan ang pinto ng taxi. He held my wrist tightly and pulled me out of the car. Kinuha niya rin ang maleta ko at hinila ako papunta sa kotse niya.

“Bitiwan mo ’ko! ’Di ba may usapan tayo na h’wag ka ng magpapakita sa akin! Gusto mo bang magalit na talaga ako sa ’yo nang–” agad niyang pinutol ang sasabihin ko.

“Ikaw pa talaga ang magagalit, Angel?! Ikaw pa talaga ang may karapatang magalit?! Hindi ba dapat ako?!”

Napapitlag ako nang bulyawan niya ako. Ngayon ko lang siya nakita na ganito kagalit sa akin. Halos mamula na ang buong mukha niya sa galit. Napasinghap ako nang basta na lang niya ihagis ang maleta ko sa loob ng kotse niya.

Muli niya akong hinarap, bahagya akong napaatras dahil sa sama ng tingin niya sa akin. Sa totoo lang, kinakabahan ako sa tingin niyang ’yan. Zakarius never looked at me like this before. Tila ba galit na galit talaga siya sa akin sa hindi ko malamang dahilan.

He took a deep breath and gripped his own hair, he bit his lower lip and closed his eyes tightly. Tila ba pinipigilan niyang sumabog sa inis.

Muli siyang tumingin sa ’kin, nanghina ang buong katawan ko nang makitang namumula ang mga mata niya, napaiwas siya ng tingin sa ’kin nang tuluyan ng umalpas ang mga luha mula sa mga mata niya.

“Ibinigay mo na lang ako kay Jaze ng basta basta na parang gamit lang ako na pwedeng ibigay… And fuck, you didn’t tell me that you’re pregnant, you’re planning to leave for good without even telling me… Tang ina, mahal mo ba talaga ako, Angel? B-bakit sobrang babaw naman yata ng pagmamahal mo sa ’kin?”

Chapter Thirty-Four

Nanatili akong tahimik habang nasa biyahe, pasimple akong napatingin kay Zak na seryoso pa rin ang mukha habang nagmamaneho. I don’t know where he’ll take me, I can’t even open my lips to ask him.

Hanggang ngayon hindi ako makapagsalita dahil sa mga sinabi niya kanina, pakiramdam ko tuloy masyado ko siyang nasaktan, pakiramdam ko mababaw talaga ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya gaya ng sinabi niya kanina.

Natigilan ako nang tumigil na ang kotse. Agad akong sumilip sa labas. Napakunot ang noo ko nang mapagtanto kong nasa labas kami ng bahay ni Jaze. Nagtatakang napatingin ako kay Zak.

“What are we doing here?”

He didn’t answer. Lumabas siya ng kotse at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto. He held my wrist and pulled me out of his car. I grimaced because he’s holding me too tight, pakiramdam ko madudurog ang buto ko kapag nagtagal pa ang paghawak niya sa akin… obviously, he’s still mad at me.

He pressed the doorbell, saglit lang kaming naghintay at agad na kaming pinagbuksan ng katulong ni Jaze. Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko nang muli niya akong hilahin papasok sa loob.

“Zak, I’m hurting,” I murmured and touched his hand gripping my wrist. Natigilan naman siya at agad na napabitiw sa akin.

He sighed and checked my wrist, bahagyang namula iyon. He bit his bottom lip as his expression softened. He looked at me and gently caressed my wrist.

“Sorry,” he muttered and turned his gaze away from me.

Agad na nawala ang kaba ko dahil sa simpleng salita galing sa kanya.

He held my other wrist, hindi na mahigpit kagaya ng kanina. Nagpatianod na lang ako sa kanya dahil baka mainis na naman siya. May atraso pa man din ako sa kanya.

Naabutan namin si Jaze sa living room. She’s sitting on the couch while typing something on her laptop. Napatingin siya sa amin nang maramdaman niya ang pagdating namin. She smiled at us and closed her laptop and put it on top of the table.

“Bakit ngayon lang kayo? Kanina pa ’ko naghihintay,” sabi ni Jaze saka tumayo at lumapit sa amin. Nagtatakang napatingin ako sa kanya. Agad kong inalis ang pagkakahawak ni Zak sa kamay ko.

“I’m so drained, Jaze. Explain everything to her.”

Natigilan ako nang talikuran na kami ni Zak. Lumabas na siya at iniwan kaming dalawa ni Jaze rito. Nagtatakang napatingin ako kay Jaze. Ano ba’ng nangyayari?

“Why don’t we take a sit, Angel?” tanong ni Jaze.

Kahit naguguluhan pa rin ako sa nangyayari, tumango na lang ako. Umupo na kami ni Jaze sa couch.

“Bakit dinala ako rito ni Zak? Ano’ng sasabihin mo sa ’kin? Ano ba’ng meron?” sunod-sunod na tanong ko.

Napabuntong hininga si Jaze saka napakamot sa batok niya.

“Ayaw mo siguro ng patumpik-tumik pa ’no? So, I think I’ll just go straight to the point,” she said and gave me a weak smile. My forehead creased, I’m so confused right now.

“Hindi si Zakarius ang ama ng ipinagbubuntis ko,” sabi ni Jaze habang nakatitig sa mga mata ko.

Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. Pakiramdam ko tila binuhusan ako nang malamig na tubig. Tila hindi kaagad nag-proseso sa isip ko ang sinabi niya.

“What the hell are you saying? Pwede ba, ayaw kong makipagbiruan ngayon,” naiinis na sabi ko at napaiwas na lang ng tingin sa kanya.

Jaze held my hand, napatingin ako sa kanya. Her eyes softened and glistened at the same time. She took a deep breath and held my hand tightly.

“I know, I became desperate, I ruined our friendship because I love Zak too much. Parang nawala ako sa sarili ko noong siniraan kita sa mga tao. You know, I never loved anybody, si Zak lang talaga. Siguro hindi ko matanggap na all this time, all those years that we spent together, he still loves you, he never stopped loving you. Maybe, it drove me insane. Maiintindihan ko naman kung hindi mo ako papatawarin, hindi rin kita pipilitin.”

Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko at napatungo. Hindi ko alam ang dapat kong sabihin sa inamin niya.

“Buntis na ako simula nang sumulpot ulit ako, obviously, Zakarius is not the father. Tinanong niya ako kung siya ba talaga ang tatay kahit alam niya sa sarili niya na walang nangyari sa amin… Idinahilan ko na lang na may nangyari sa amin noong nalasing siya, iyon siguro ang weakness niya, wala siyang naaalala kapag nalalasing siya. Sinabi ko na may nangyari sa amin kahit wala, I did that to hide from the true father of my child, well, I kinda hoped that… that Zak will marry me and love me back. I’ll be honest, I still love him, I still love Zak. Pero napag-isip isip ko na parang… parang hindi na ako ’to. Binubulag na ako ng pagmamahal ko kay Zak. Naisip ko na nagawa kong abandonahin ang nag-iisa kong kaibigan at karamay sa buhay para lang sa kahibangan ko.”

Nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata ko sa huling sinabi niya. Napatingin ako kay Jaze. Mapait na ngumiti siya sa akin, namumula na rin ang mga mata niya at makikita sa mga ’yon ang nagbabadyang mga luha.

“I really love him, Angel. I really love Zakarius. Sinubukan kong lumayo, sinubukan kong magmahal ng iba… I even got pregnant, but I still love him. Ayoko ng sumobra pa ’to, ayoko ng dumating ako sa punto na tuluyan na akong mahibang dahil sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya kaya itinigil ko na. S-sorry kung naging hadlang ako sa inyong dalawa, nasayang ang ilang taon sa buhay niyo na sana nagmamahalan kayo. Sorry kung naging selfish ako at hindi ko inisip ang nag-iisang best friend ko, sorry dahil naging hadlang ako sa inyo ni Zak, sorry for ruining your career, your dream… I know apology is not enough, I know this is not enough, but I still want to say sorry for everything.  Hindi ko hinihiling na patawarin mo kaagad ako, kahit ilang taon pa ’yang abutin, kahit hindi mo na ako patawarin.” She forced a smile and wiped her tears. “By the way, kanina lang nalaman ni Zak na hindi siya ang ama ng ipinagbubuntis ko. Alam kong nakita mo kami sa mall kanina, but don’t worry, nagpasama lang ako sa kanya. Ikaw lang ang mahal ni Zak mula noon hanggang ngayon kaya wala kang dapat ipag-alala. Bukas din, lilinisin ko ang pangalan mo, aaminin ko na ang totoo sa mga tao.”

I sighed and smiled at her. Natigilan siya nang marahan kong hinaplos ang kamay niya.

“You don’t have to do that. Wala na akong planong bumalik sa showbiz. Actually, I’m pregnant too, I want to give my child a peaceful life. Makakalimutan din naman ako ng mga tao, lilipas din ’yon… About everything, I couldn’t tell that I finally forgave you. It will take time, pero hindi naman siguro matatagalan. Kailangan ko lang sigurong mag-isip, kasi mahal na mahal ko rin si Zak, Jaze, mula noon, wala akong ibang minahal maliban sa kanya. Naiisip ko pa lang ang ilang taon na sana ay magkasama kami, nanghihinayang ako. Nasasaktan din ako dahil nagawa mong balewalain ang pagkakabigan natin at nagawa mong pagdudahan ang pagiging kaibigan ko sa ’yo.” Napaiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya at napatungo.

Saglit kaming natahimik pareho. Bakit ba nauwi sa ganito ang pagkakaibigan namin?

Kasalanan ni Zak.

“I understand, Angel. Hindi naman kita pinipilit na patawarin agad ako, take your time,” she said and smiled at me. Napangiti na lang din ako.

“I know this question is kinda offending, but I still want to ask you this, Jaze. Everything that you said, do you really mean it? I mean, it’s so sudden. Parang noong nakaraan lang, parang desidido ka na ikasal kayo ni Zak. Why sudden change of heart? I’m sorry for suspecting you… I just want to make sure,” I mumbled.

“I know it won’t be easy for you to trust me again, but I decided to finally give up because I realized what I’ve been doing all this time. Napagdesisyunan ko rin na umalis na lang ng bansa at pumunta sa tita ko sa abroad. I told you, ’di ba? Tinataguan ko ang totoong tatay ng baby ko,” sabi niya saka marahang hinaplos ang tiyan niya. Napakunot ang noo ko.

“Bakit mo siya tinataguan? Pwede ko bang malman kung sino siya?” tanong ko. Tipid na ngumiti si Jaze.

“H-he’s not important,” sabi na lang na saka napaiwas ng tingin sa ’kin. Napatango na lang ako at hindi na siya pinilit na magsalita.

MATAPOS ANG matagal din naming pag-uusap, lumabas na kaming dalawa. Natigilan kaming pareho nang makita si Zak na may kausap na lalaki. Napakunot ang noo ko, hindi pamilyar sa akin ang lalaking ’yon.

“Zak.” Tinawag ko si Zakarius, agad naman siyang napalingon sa direksyon namin pati ang lalaking kausap niya.

Lumapit ako kay Zak. Napatingin ako sa lalaking katabi niya na ngayon ay nakatitig na kay Jaze. Sino naman ang lalaking ’to?

I admit, he’s handsome as hell. Matangkad din ito kagaya ni Zak at halatang matipuno ang katawan. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and pants, kitang kita ko ang tattoos sa mga braso niya. He’s almost fully tattooed, maski leeg niya ay may tattoos, mukha na lang siguro niya ang wala, but honestly, he looks hot with those tattoos.

“Stop staring at him,” tila naiinis na sabi ni Zak at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Hinila niya ako papalapit sa kanya.

“Tang ina, pinahirapan mo ’kong hanapin ka, Jazelyn,” mariing mura ng lalaki at lumapit kay Jaze.

“Who is he?” bulong ko kay Zak. Hindi naman siya sumagot. Sungit.

“A-ano’ng ginagawa mo rito, Damien?!” naiinis na tanong ni Jaze at itinulak palayo ang lalaki.

I gasped when that guy Damien held Jaze’s arm and pulled her closer to him. My forehead creased in confusion, who the hell is that Damien guy?

“Zak, baka kailangan ni Jaze ng tulong natin. Sino ba ang lalaking ’yan?” muli kong bulong kay Zak.

Baka saktan pa ng Damien na ’yan si Jaze. Mukha pa namang barumbado ang lalaking ’yon, kahit pa gwapo siya, hindi ko basta basta iiwan si Jaze sa kanya.

“Bakit mo ’ko tinakasan ha?! Buntis ka at ako ang tatay niyan! Ano’ng karapatan mong tumakas?! Akala mo ba ikaw lang ang gumawa sa bata?” mariing tanong pa ni Damien.

Napaawang ang labi ko at napatakip sa bibig ko. Kung gano’n… ang Damien na iyan ang ama ng ipinagbubuntis ni Jaze?

“Let’s go,” sabi na lang ni Zak at hinila ako papasok sa kotse niya.

Muli kong sinilip sina Jaze at Damien na mukhang nag-aaway pa rin hanggang sa pumasok na si Zak sa kotse. Hinabol ko pa rin ng tingin sina Jaze kahit na pinaharurot na ni Zak ang sasakyan.

I looked at Zak and held his arm.

“Zak, that Damien guy might do something harmful to Jaze. Balikan natin si Jaze doon,” nag-aalalang sabi ko.

“Don’t judge him by his appearance,” tipid na tugon na lang niya.

“I’m not judging him by his appearance… okay, fine, I’m kinda judging him because it looks like he’ll punch Jaze kapag nagalit siya,” nag-aalalang wika ko na lang.

“Let them handle their problem, you have your own problem you need to deal with,” he said coldly. I sighed and bit my lower lip. He’s still mad at me, huh.

SA BAHAY niya kami dumiretso. Hindi na lang ako nagsalita nang kuhanin niya ang maleta ko saka hinila ako palabas ng kotse niya. Nagpatianod na lang ako sa kanya nang hilahin niya ako papasok sa bahay niya.

Tahimik na lang ako nang dalhin niya ako sa naging kuwarto ko rito. Inilagay niya ang maleta sa gilid ng kama at pinaupo ako ro’n.

“Take a rest,” tipid na sabi niya saka agad na lumabas ng kuwarto ko.

I bit my lower lip and sighed when he finally left me in this room. I want to apologize to him but it seems like he still don’t want to hear my apology now, hindi ko na lang muna siya kakausapin. Mukhang mainit pa ang ulo niya dahil sa mga ginawa ko… I can’t blame him.

Napailing na lang ako at kumuha ng damit sa maleta ko. Pumunta ako sa banyo upang mag-shower.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal sa banyo. Hanggang ngayon, pakiramdam ko hindi pa rin nagsi-sink in sa utak ko ang mga nangyari.

Napailing na lang ako at lumabas ng banyo saka nagbihis. Bigla kong naalala si Chan. Agad ko siyang t-in-ext para sabihin na hindi na matutuloy ang pagpunta ko sa bahay niya.

Jaze popped up in my mind too. I immediately dialed her number, baka kung ano na ang ginawa sa kanya ng Damien na ’yon.

Laking pasasalamat ko nang agad niyang sagutin ang tawag.

“Hello, Jaze. Are you all right? I mean, did that Damien guy do something to you?” I asked, concern is evident on my voice.

“No, don’t worry. That assh-le will never hurt me, well, he kinda looks and acts like a thug but he’s not. I hate him but he’s harmless.” Nakahinga ako nang maluwag sa sinabi niya.

“Is he really the father of your baby?” I asked. Jaze sighed on the other line.

“Unfortunately, he is… By the way, where did Zak take you?”

“Nandito ako sa bahay niya,” sagot ko naman.

Oddly, this conversation of ours feels good. Pakiramdam ko bumalik kami sa dati na komportable kami sa isa’t isa.

“Good thing. I forgot to tell you something. I forgot to tell you the real reason why I suddenly disappeared without telling you. Zak hunted me down like crazy because of that, natatakot siya na baka sabihin ko sa ’yo ang tungkol sa natuklasan kong ’yon. Actually, I have photos and videos of it, but it’s much better if you’ll see it in person… Sa kuwarto ni Zak, meron siyang book shelf. May Italian book doon na ang title ay Angelo della mia vita. Put that book out of the shelf and you’ll see a small button there, pindutin mo iyon at makikita mo ang ibig kong sabihin. Makikita mo ang secret room ni Zak.”

Napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. Angelo della mia vita? Ano naman ang makikita ko ro’n sa secret room kuno ni Zak?

“Ano’ng meron doon?” nagtatakang tanong ko.

“Hmm, just Zakarius’ weird and creepy stuff… Just see for yourself, bye.”

Magtatanong pa sana ako ngunit agad niyang binaba ang tawag. Mas lalo tuloy akong na-curious kung ano ang meron do’n.

I sighed and stood up. Before that, I need to eat first. Nagutom ako dahil sa mga naganap at nalaman ko ngayong araw.

Lumabas ako ng kuwarto at agad na nagtungo sa kusina, natigilan ako nang makita ko si Zak do’n at nagluluto. I just cleared my throat to get his attention but he didn’t bother to look at me and just continued cooking. I sighed in frustration, hanggang kailan ba siya magmamatigas?

“Zak, I’m hungry,” I mumbled and touched my tummy.

Hindi nagsalita si Zak, palihim ko na lang siyang inirapan.

I took a deep breath to gather my courage. Lumapit ako sa kanya at yumakap sa kanya mula sa likuran niya. Halata namang natigilan siya sa ginawa ko.

“I’m sorry, Zak. I’m really sorry. Sorry kung sa tingin mo mababaw ang pagmamahal ko sa ’yo, s-sorry kung naging selfish ako at hindi kita inisip, sorry kung itinago ko sa ’yo na buntis ako… Please, talk to me na, I-I can’t take this anymore. Babawi naman ako sa ’yo, e. Punish me, do whatever you want. Just please, talk to me again.”

Hindi kumibo si Zak. Natigilan ako nang alisin niya ang pagkakayakap ko sa kanya saka humarap sa akin. Napakagat na lang ako sa loob ng pisngi ko nang matiim siyang tumitig sa akin.

“It’s just… I think this whole thing is so unfair, Angel. Isang salita mo lang, kaya na akong palambutin. I can beg you and fight for my love for you without any hesitation, while you… you didn’t even think twice to throw me away like a piece of garbage. This is honestly unfair because I think I love you a hundred times more than you love me.”

Napabuntong hininga ako at hinawakan ang kamay niya.

“It’s not like that, Zak,” I mumbled and avoided his gaze.

Zakarius sighed and turned his back on me again. Muli niyang ibinalik ang atensyon sa niluluto.

“It’s fine, it’s fine if I love you way more than you love me, it’s fine if your love for me is shallow. Just don’t… don’t push me away again, and don’t try to leave me again.” It almost came out as a whisper because his voice is too weak. I just bit my lower lip and nodded even though he can’t see me.

Pinanood ko na lang siya hanggang sa ilagay na niya sa plato ang niluto. Inihain niya ’yon sa mesa saka hinila ako paupo sa upuan. He took a spoon and fork and gave it to me, naghanda rin siya ng tubig at iniabot sa ’kin.

Galit siya sa akin pero pinagsisilbihan niya pa rin ako nang ganito… Natigilan ako at napatingin sa kanya.

“Are you doing this because I’m pregnant?” I asked. Zakarius looked at me and sighed.

“No, I’m doing this because I love you,” he muttered and took his phone out of his pocket.

Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko at uminom ng tubig dahil pakiramdam ko nag-iinit ang magkabilang pisngi ko.

“May kailangan akong puntahan. Call or text me if you want something…” Zakarius kissed my forehead. “…and I’m still mad at you.”

Pagkasabi no’n ay agad siyang umalis ng dining area. Napaismid na lang ako habang hinahabol siya ng tingin. Saan naman kaya siya pupunta?

Kumalam ang sikmura ko. Napailing na lang ako at nagsimulang kumain. Mamaya ko o bukas ko na lang ulit siya kakausapin. Medyo inaantok na rin kasi ako, masyadong napagod ang isip ko sa mga nangyari.

Pagkatapos kong kumain, hinugasan ko na ang plato saka muling bumalik sa silid ko. Papasok na sana ako sa kuwarto ko ngunit napatingin ako sa pinto ng kuwarto ni Zak. Bigla ko tuloy naalala ang sinabi ni Jaze sa akin kanina.

I entered Zakarius’ room, his room is still clean and neat as always. Mas malinis pa yata ang room niya kaysa sa room ko.

Agad na naagaw ng bookshelf na malapit sa TV ang atensyon ko. That’s the only bookshelf here in his room. Maybe that’s what Jaze is talking about.

Lumapit ako ro’n at hinanap ang Angelo such na book. Natigilan ako nang may makitang book na Angelo della mia vit a, this is it.

Kinuha ko ang libro at tama nga si Jaze, may red button nga roon. Dahil sa kuryosidad, agad kong pinindot ang button na ’yon at gano’n na lang ang gulat ko nang gumalaw ang bookshelf.

Agad akong napaatras nang kusang umurong ang bookshelf pagilid. May pinto sa likod ng bookshelf, marahil ito ang sinasabi ni Jaze na secret room kuno ni Zak.

I gulped and held the doorknob with my shaking hand. Luckily, the door wasn’t locked at nabuksan ko iyon.

Napakunot ang noo ko, sobrang dilim sa secret room na ’to. Kinapa ko ang dingding sa gilid dahil baka may light switch doon or what. Agad kong pinindot ang switch nang may makapa ako at agad na nagbukas ang ilaw.

Natigilan ako sa bumungad sa akin.

“What the fuck is this?” I mumbled and covered my parted lips with my hand due to shock.

This room… this room have a lot of pictures on the wall, my pictures. Halos maduling ako sa dami ng pictures ko na nakadikit sa pader. Lumapit ako ro’n upang tingnan nang malapitan.

My goodness.

Pati pictures ko nang mga panahong reporter ako ay meron din. Karamihan ay pictures na noong artista ako, yung iba ay mukhang kinuha or pinilas magazines. Iyong iba naman ay pictures tuwing natanggap ako ng awards.

Halos mapuno ang bawat sulok ng silid ng pictures ko. Ano ba ang mga ’to?

Napapitlag ako nang makarinig ng kaluskos. Agad akong napalingon sa pinto at nakita ko si Zak doon na nakakunot ang noo habang nakatingin sa akin.

“What are you doing here?” he asked in a cold tone. I gulped and bit my bottom lip.

He should be the one to be nervous, right? I mean, bakit parang ako pa ang kinabahan na nakita niya ako rito sa secret room niya?

Chapter Thirty-Five

“What the hell is this, Zakarius?”

Zak turned his gaze away from me. Lumapit siya sa akin at hinawakan ang kamay ko saka hinila ako palabas ng silid na ’yon. Huminga ako nang malalim upang pakalmahin ang sarili ko.

“What are those, Zak? Ano’ng trip mo at ang dami kong pictures doon?!” I asked hysterically.

Zak scratched his nape, he sighed and bit his bottom lip.

“Just forget about that, aalisin ko na rin naman ’yan,” sabi na lang niya habang hindi pa rin makatingin nang ayos sa akin. I rolled my eyes at him.

“No, explain that to me! I love you, Zak, but that is honestly creepy,” I said and pointed his secret room or whatever the hell he calls it.

“Is it really creepy?” Zakarius asked and scratched nape again. He looks like a lost puppy or what.

“Of course! Kung ikaw kaya ang nasa posisyon ko, nakita mo akong may secret room kuno na punong puno ng pictures mo, ano’ng mararamdaman mo ha?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko.

“Kikiligin ako,” agad na sagot ni Zak. Napaawang na lang ang labi ko saka napakurap. “Fine, Cadence said the same thing when he discovered that, he said it was creepy. I didn’t thought it would turned out like that. I’m just collecting your magazines everytime I see one. At first, I just planned to make it a photo album, pero nakakapagod magbuklat nang magbuklat. So I just pasted all of it on the wall for easy viewing. I know this is kinda creepy–” agad kong pinutol ang sasabihin niya.

“Anong kinda?! That is so creepy on so many levels, Zak!” I sighed and massaged my temple.

Napatungo si Zak at halos hindi na talaga ito makatingin nang ayos sa akin.

“I’m sorry if that creep you out. As you can see, originally, it was my room for my ammunitions… b-but, I’m sorry, okay? Tatanggalin ko na ang mga ’yan, promise,” sabi na lang niya at humawak sa braso ko.

“Are you obsessed with me or what?” I asked. Zakarius was taken aback with my question.

“No, it’s not like that. Ang assuming mo naman.”

Gusto ko sanang matawa sa sinabi niya na ang assuming ko, kaso dapat kong panindigan na seryoso ako ngayon.

“That is what that fucking room indicates, Zak. You are obviously obsessed with me, and it’s not good,” tila nanenermong sabi ko.

“I’m not obsessed with you. I just bought some of your magazines and watched your movies. I mean, I promised you back then that when you became an actress, I’ll be your director but everything became fucked up. I know that’s creepy, tatanggalin ko na rin naman ’yan, e,” paliwanag niya. Napataas ang kilay ko.

“You bought my magazines and watched my movies? Anong dahilan ’yan? May picture doon noong reporter days ko, Zak. Obviously, you stalked me,” I accused. His forehead furrowed.

“Hey, I didn’t stalk you, I’m not a stalker. Kinuha ko lang sa diyaryo ang mga pictures mo noong reporter ka pa. I didn’t stalk you,” pagtanggi niya.

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrow. I stared at him, Zakarius is still avoiding my gaze. Namumula na ang mukha niya dahil siguro sa hiya.

“But we can’t deny the fact that you’re crazily in love with me, as in crazily. Remove my pictures in that secret room of yours, Zakarius. Ang creepy talaga, kahit sino maki-creepy-han diyan. Sino ba naman ang matinong tao na magdi-dikit ng sandamakmak na pictures na ganyan?!” panenermon ko sa kanya. Napakamot si Zak sa batok niya.

“Cadence did this too with his favorite Korean idols,” bulong niya. Tiningnan ko siya nang masama.

“Magkaiba ’yon,” sabi ko na lang at inirapan siya.

Lumapit ako sa bookshelf at pinindot ang button doon. Muling gumalaw ang bookshelf at muling naharangan ang pinto. Napailing ako at ibinalik ang libro do’n. Muli kong hinarap si Zak na hanggang ngayon ay parang bata na pinagalitan ng nanay niya.

“Bukas dapat wala na ang mga ’yon doon, Zak. Do you understand?” I asked and put my hand on my waist.

Zakarius nodded like a child. I sighed and scratched my eyebrow. Damn this man, he never failed to surprise me every time. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na ganito siyang kabaliw sa akin. Akala ko pa naman all these years, ako lang ang may hidden feelings sa kanya, mas malala pala ang nararamdaman niya sa akin.

“So… iyon pala ang dahilan kung bakit hanap ka nang hanap kay Jaze? Dahil nakita niya ang secret room mo na ’yon? Bakit natatakot ka na makita ko ’yon?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko.

Zakarius held my hand and took a deep breath.

“Jaze discovered that secret room before you and I… you know, happened. I’m afraid that you’ll find me creepy and weird… Don’t worry, aalisin ko na talaga ang mga ’yon.”

Nanatili akong nakatitig sa kanya.

“Are you sure you aren’t obsessed with me or what? Baka naman bigla mo na lang akong ikulong dito sa sobrang obsessed–” agad niyang pinutol ang sasabihin ko.

“I will never do that! I’m not like that, Angel. Naiintindihan ko na natakot ka sa nakita mo, but I won’t take away your freedom from you. I’m not obsessed with you, I’m in love with you, magkaiba ’yon, but I understand that you misunderstood those pictures and found it creepy.” He sighed. “Do you want to end everything now? I won’t force you in a relationship with me if you don’t want to, Angel.”

I bit my bottom lip and avoided his gaze.

“Kapag sinabi kong ayaw ko, pakakawalan mo talaga ako?” tanong ko.

“Yes, but I guess, I’ll just find a way for you to love me again. I’ll just court you again,” he said and gave me a small smile.

“Well, we already wasted a lot of time and years in our lives. H’wag na tayong dumaan sa gano’n. That creepy secret room, I’ll just let it pass, but don’t do it again,” I murmured and looked at his blue eyes. Zakarius just nodded.

“Are you sure you aren’t obsessed with–” Hindi ko na naituloy ang sasabihin ko dahil tinakpan ni Zak ang mukha ko gamit ang kamay niya. Agad ko siyang hinampas at inalis ang kamay niya sa mukha ko. Tiningnan ko siya nang masama.

“Bakit ba ipinagpipilitan mo ’yan?” nakakunot-noong tanong niya. Inismiran ko naman siya.

“Well, kasi, mga obsessed na tao lang ang gagawa ng gano’n. Kung konting pictures lang understandable pa, pero yung gano’ng karami?” Pinaypayan ko ang sarili ko gamit ang kamay ko.

“Then you’re obsessed with me too,” Zakarius said. My eyebrow shot up with his remark.

“Bakit naman?” tanong ko.

“I saw your photo albums in your room before. You have thick photo albums in your drawer with my pictures inside. Marami ’yon, halos katumbas ng pictures mo sa secret room ko,” sabi ni Zak saka pinaningkitan ako ng mga mata. Napasinghap ako sa sinabi niya.

“H-how did you know that?! Pinakialaman mo pala ang mga gamit ko kung ganoon?!” nakapamaywang na tanong ko. Idadaan ko na lang sa galit ang hiyang nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Totoo naman kasi na may pictures siya sa akin. Pero ang OA naman ng sinabi niya na katumbas ang dami no’n sa pictures na nasa secret room niya.

“That’s not the issue here, Angelica Louise. To be honest, It creep me out too when I saw that. It’s obvious that you’re crazily obsessed with me.” Napangiwi pa si Zak at napayakap sa sarili niya. Napasinghap naman ako sa naging reaksyon niya.

“Ang kapal mo naman, sine-save ko lang ang nakikita kong pictures mo sa social media, ’no! It was just… just admiration, I admired your handsome face, nothing more, nothing less. Ikaw ’tong assuming, e!” asik ko saka itinulak siya palayo sa akin.

“Oh, really?” tila nang-aasar pa na tanong niya.

Bakit parang nagkabaligtad yata ang sitwasyon namin?

“Oo nga! Sige, mang-inis ka pa, aalis ulit ako,” pananakot ko. Feeling ko sobrang namumula na ang mukha ko dahil sa usapan naming ’to. Bakit naman kasi ako ang na-hot seat dito?!

“Joke lang, I didn’t find it creepy.” Lumapit siya sa ’kin at yumakap sa baywang ko. “Kinilig lang,” bulong niya saka dinampian ng halik ang labi ko. Napaismid na lang ako.

Hindi naman talaga creepy ’yon, e. Na-trip-an ko lang naman ipa-print ang pictures niya dahil… dahil sayang ang binili kong photo album noon. Assuming siya masyado.

“Ano? You’re not mad at me anymore?” nagba-baka sakaling tanong ko.

Natigilan siya at kumalas sa pagkakayakap sa ’kin. He crossed his arms above his chest and distanced himself from me. My lips parted because of his childishness. Is he for real?

“Hindi pa rin tayo bati kung gano’n?” nakataas-kilay na tanong ko. Hindi siya sumagot at inismiran lang ako.

Damn him, why is he so cute?

Lumapit ako sa kanya at biglaang yumakap sa kanya. Nawalan naman siya ng balanse kaya napahiga kami sa kama habang nasa ibabaw niya ako. I sat on his stomach and stared at him. Napakurap naman siya sa ginawa ko.

Natigilan siya nang pumaibabaw ako sa kanya at pinupog ng halik ang buong mukha niya… his forehead, his cheeks, his chin, his lips. Hindi naman siya nakagalaw sa ginawa ko.

“W-what are you doing?” nauutal na tanong niya at sinubukan akong alisin sa ibabaw niya pero mas binigatan ko ang sarili ko.

“Nilalambing kita para bati na tayo,” sabi ko saka muli siyang pinupog ng halik.

Tinitigan ko siya pagkatapos ko siyang halik-halikan. Napakurap siya saka napalunok. Namumula ang mukha niya lalo na ang tainga niya, halata rin na pinipigil niya ang paghinga niya.

“Hey, breathe. Masyado ka namang kinilig,” natatawang sabi ko bago saka dinampian siya ng isa pang halik sa labi.

Kinurot-kurot ko ang dalawang pisngi niya.

“You’re so cute, my squishy squishy… In love na in love ka talaga sa ’kin, ’no?” I asked and gave him a playful grin.

I squealed when he changed our position, siya naman ngayon ang nasa ibabaw ko. Napahagikhik ako nang siya naman ang pumupog ng halik sa buong mukha ko.

“Zakarius!” I giggled.

“Let’s have a date tomorrow, para bati na tayo,” sabi niya matapos halik-halikan ang mukha ko.

Natatawang napailing na lang ako sa sinabi nya.

“Akala ko pa naman sex ang gusto mo,” nakangising sabi ko. Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata niya sa sinabi ko.

“You… you’re becoming a sex-starved woman,” sabi niya saka pinaningkitan ako ng mga mata.

I traced my finger on his hard chest and pouted my lips. I gave him a soft peck on his lips and smiled.

“Your fault, you’re always driving me crazy every time we do that.”

Natawa na lang siya sa sinabi ko.

“Kasalanan ko pa talaga?” natatawang tanong niya. Muli akong napanguso saka tumango.

“Oo nga… but okay, para bati na tayo, fine, let’s have a date tomorrow,” I said and clung my arms around his nape.

He let out a manly chuckle and buried his face on my neck. Humiga na siya sa tabi ko at yumakap sa baywang ko. Natigilan ako nang maramdaman kong napunta ang kamay niya sa tiyan ko at marahang hinaplos iyon.

“Many things happened tonight, I didn’t get to show you how happy I am knowing that you’re pregnant,” he muttered while caressing my tummy. I smiled and held his hand touching my tummy. His hand feels warm, he gave me and my baby the warmth we’ve been craving for from him in just a simple touch.

“Who told you that I’m pregnant?” I asked even though I already knew the answer to my own question.

“Cadence… it’s not for free, but it was worth it,” he mumbled and nuzzled on my neck.

Natahimik na kaming pareho. Napapikit na lang ako niyakap siya pabalik. I stroked his soft hair using my fingers and started humming. Zakarius groaned and pulled me closer to him.

“I missed this so much, Angel… I love you so much,” he murmured. I just bit my lower lip and smiled.

“I love you too.”

I have to admit, Zakarius is one of the best thing that happened to me, and he will always be. Damn, I’m so in love with him too, so in love.

---

“How do I look with this dress, Zak?” tanong ko saka umikot sa harapan niya upang ipakita nang mabuti ang simpleng flowy white dress na suot ko. I paired it with beige-colored flat shoes.

Zakarius held his chin and stared at me from head to toe.

“You look ravishing as always,” he said and smiled at me.

Napakagat na lang ako sa ibabang labi ko at pa-kunwaring inirapan siya para hindi niya mahalata na kinilig ako sa sinabi niya. Kinuha na niya ang car key sa bedside table saka lumapit sa ’kin at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

“Saan tayo pupunta?” tanong ko habang naglalakad kami palabas ng bahay niya.

“I don’t know,” sagot niya saka pinagbuksan ako ng pinto ng kotse. Nakakunot-noong pumasok ako sa loob.

Nagyaya siyang makipag-date tapos hindi niya pala alam kung saan kami pupunta.

Sumakay na rin kaagad siya sa kotse saka pinaandar iyon.

“Ang low-maintenanced mo talaga palagi, Zakarius fucking Cavalcante,” sabi ko na lang saka napaismid.

Napangiti na lang si Zak at hindi na nagsalita. Hindi na lang din ako kumibo at tumingin na lang sa labas. 5 pm na kaya hindi na ganoong ka-init, ayaw ko rin kasi lumabas ng mainit.

Makalipas ang ilang minuto, nakarating kami sa park na malapit sa school ko noong high school. Bumaba ng kotse si Zak saka pinagbuksan ako. He held my hand and intertwined our fingers. Napangiti na lang ako saka lumabas ng kotse.

I roamed my eyes around the park. Na-miss ko bigla ang lugar na ’to. Dito ako palaging tumatambay mag-isa noong high school ako. Ang peaceful kasi ng ambiance ng place. Maraming trees, may mga family nagpi-picnic, may mga couples din pero tahimik naman kahit papa’no at hindi ganoong ka-ingay.

Nagsimula na kaming maglakad-lakad. Kaunti lang ang tap rito ngayon pero may ibang napapatingin sa akin. Hindi ko na lang pinansin, wala na ako sa showbiz, wala na akong pakialam sa iisipin nila.

Napangiti na lang ako dahil dito ako naisipang dalhin ni Zakarius, he’s kinda simple-minded most of the time, but I love this side of him.

“This is actually the place where I first met you.”

Natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Zak. Nagtatakang napatingin ako sa kanya.

“Akala ko ba sa rooftop mo ako unang nakita?” nagtatakang tanong ko. Napailing naman siya.

“I was around 22 years old that time, I saw you arguing with girls around your age during that time, maybe you were 14 or 15 back then,” kwento niya.

I chuckled and shook my head. War freak talaga ako noong high school, kahit nung college naman.

“Doon ka ba unang na-in love sa akin?!” Napakunot ang noo ko. 

“Of course not. Wala pa akong nararamdaman sa’yo no’n, of course, you were just a kid that time. I fell in love with you when we started spending time at the rooftop when you were already a college student,” sabi na lang n’ya. 

“Hmm, so… Ano’ng nangyari noong nakita mo ako rito? Nag-usap ba tayo? Did you approach me or is it the other way around?” sunod-sunod na tanong ko. Natawa na lang siya tumingin sa akin.

“Secret… I’ll tell you when we’re finally married. Kaya dapat magpakasal ka sa ’kin para malaman mo,” nakangiting sabi niya.

Damn, w

hat a cute smile.

“Is this indirect proposal or what?” natatawang tanong ko. Napakibit-balikat na lang siya.

Natahimik na ulit kami. Ini-sway sway ko ang kamay naming magkahawak. Ang simple lang nito pero ang sarap sa pakiramdam. Kung yayayain ulit ako ni Zak na maglakad-lakad dito sa susunod, talagang papayag ako.

Natigilan ako nang maramdaman kong naiihi ako. Napatingin ako kay Zak at pinatigil siya sa paglalakad.

“Zak.”

“Hmm? Do you want something?” he asked and looked at me.

“I need to pee,” I mumbled. Natawa na lang siya saka napatango.

“Okay,” sabi na lang niya at hinila ako.

Hindi na lang ako nagreklamo at nagpatianod sa kanya. Naiihi na talaga ako, e.

Natigilan ako nang makarating kami sa mukhang high-end na hotel… CAD group of Hotels. Natawa na lang ako, dito pa talaga niya ako sa mamahaling hotel pai-ihiin. Ang arte talaga.

“Zak, nakakahiya naman kung papasok lang tayo rito para umihi,” bulong ko kay Zak.

Nakakapagtaka na basta na lang kami pinapasok ng guard, ni hindi man lang kami kinapkapan or what noong guard.

“It’s fine, Cadence owns this hotel,” sabi na lang niya. Natigilan ako. Kaya pala CAD ang pangalan ng hotel na ’to. Nakikita ko talaga na maraming branch ’to all around the country, umabot pa sa Asia.

Mukhang may bunga naman pala ang pagiging mukhang pera ng Cadence na ’yon.

Hinila ako papuntang CR ng hotel.

Nakakasilaw ang hotel na ’to. Mukhang hindi biro ang bayad sa pag-stay rito. Pati loob ng CR nakakasilaw.

Lumabas na ako ng CR pagkatapos. Naabutan ko si Zak na nakasandal sa pader mula sa di kalayuan habang naghihintay sa akin. Lalapit na sana ako sa kanya ngunit may lalaking humarang sa akin. Mukhang guest siya rito sa hotel at mukhang mayaman din.

“Ikaw si Angel Mendoza, ’di ba?” tanong ng lalaki. Alanganing ngumiti na lang ako saka tumango. “Pwedeng magpa-picture?” tanong niya.

Kahit nag-aalangan, ngumiti na lang ako at pumayag sa gusto niya at nakipag-picture sa kanya. Napatingin ako sa direksyon ni Zak, naglalakad na siya papalapit sa ’kin habang nakakunot ang noo.

“You’re kinda pretty, kaya siguro ang dami mong nalalanding lalaki. I have a friend who’s a movie director. He said you let him fuck you for a movie contract. Magkano ba ang pwede kong ibayad sa ’yo? Name your price,” nakangising sabi nito.

Tila binuhusan ako nang malamig na tubig sa sinabi niya.

“Excuse me?” I asked and raised my eyebrow.

Pasimple kong pinatunog ang mga buto ko kamay. It’s been so long since the last time I punched someone, mukhang may makakatikim ng suntok mula sa akin.

“Ah, you want straight to the point, huh? Can I fuck you, bitch? I’m willing to pay–”

Hindi na niya naituloy ang sasabihin nang may humila sa kanya. Ganoon na lang ang gulat ko nang makitang isinandal ni Zak sa pader ang lalaki, kinuha ni Zak ang baril mula sa bulsa ng leather jacket niya at itinutok iyon sa panga ng lalaki. Agad akong lumapit sa kanya upang pigilan siya.

“Zak! No, don’t do that,” tila pabulong na sabi ko sa kanya at tumingin sa paligid.

Walang masyadong nakakapansin sa amin dahil nasa sulok na parte kami ng hotel, pero delikado kapag may nakakita sa amin dito. Bakit ba siya may dalang baril in the first place?!

“What the fuck did you just said? Huh? Fucking assh-le,” mariing bulong ni Zak sa lalaki saka mas idiniin ang nguso ng baril sa panga ng lalaki.

Literal na nanginig at namutla ang lalaki, agad din itong pinagpawisan at kulang na lang maihi ito sa takot.

“Zak, calm down. Umalis na lang tayo, please. Don’t do this,” pagpapakalma ko sa kanya. Marahan kong hinahaplos ang braso niya para kahit papa’no ay kumalma siya.

Zakarius is breathing heavily, he’s holding the gun tightly as if he’s determined to shoot this guy. Ang sama ng tingin niya sa lalaki at halos mamula ang buong mukha nito sa galit.

“Zak, baby, please. Listen to me, just let this pass, please. Kahit para na lang sa ’kin at sa baby natin,” bulong ko pa sa kanya.

Doon siya tila kumalma. Huminga siya nang malalim at inilayo ang baril sa panga ng lalaki. Kinuha ni Zak ang card na hawak ng lalaki at tiningnan ang pangalan doon.

“Alexandro Romano, general manager of QHY group of companies… remember this fucking day, I will make you pay for insulting my woman,” malamig na sabi ni Zak saka muling ibinalik ang baril niya sa bulsa. Tila nakahinga ako nang maluwag.

Nakatulala pa rin ang lalaki at namumutla, mukhang hihimatayin na ito anumang oras.

“Let’s go, Zak,” sabi ko na lang at hinila siya palayo sa lalaki saka palabas ng hotel na ’yon.

I hope Zakarius won’t hunt that man down. Mukhang mas galit pa siya sa akin, e.

KAHAPON PA nangyari ang insidenteng ’yon sa hotel pero hindi pa rin maganda ang mood ni Zak hanggang ngayon.

I’m honestly nervous, baka ipa-hunting niya ang lalaking ’yon kay Cad at kung ano pa ang gawin niya sa lalaki. Knowing Zak, masamang magalit ’yon.

Ilang ulit ko ng sinabi sa kanya kagabi na ayos lang ako at hindi naman ako naapektuhan dahil hindi naman ’yon totoo, pero naiinis pa rin talaga siya.

Wala ngayon si Zak dito sa bahay dahil balik trabaho na ulit siya kaya nanonood na lang ako ng movies mag-isa. Ayaw pa nga niyang pumasok pero pinilit ko lang, baka naman kasi ma-umay na siya sa akin kapag palagi kaming magkasama.

My phone rang. My forehead creased when I saw Chan’s name on the caller ID. I instantly answered his call.

“Hello.”

“Angel! Buksan mo ang TV mo, sa channel B ha. Bye!” Binaba niya kaagad ang tawag. Nagtatakang napatingin ako sa phone ko. Ano naman kaya ang meron?

I just shrugged, binuksan ko na lang ang TV kagaya ng sabi niya. Sana lang talaga hindi panibagong issue tungkol sa akin. Nananahimik na ako rito.

Natigilan ako nang mukha ni Zak ang bumungad sa akin. Napaawang ang labi ko, ano’ng ginagawa niya riyan? I mean, ano’ng meron?

“I hope everyone stopped insulting my girlfriend, Angel Mendoza. I want everyone to know that she’s not a bitch or a boyfriend stealer for I’m already hers right from the start.”

Napakurap na lang ako habang pinapanood siya sa TV. He’s holding a press conference right now. Halatang naiilang siya sa nakakasilaw na cameras around him, pero tuloy lang siya sa pagsasalita.

“I still want to clear her name even though she’s not in showbiz world anymore because it pains me every time people judge or insult her, because I know, more than anyone, that she’s not like that… she’s my angel. Yes, she stole my heart the very first time I saw her, but she’s not a boyfriend stealer. Believe it or not, she’s my first girlfriend… She may be a bitch most of the time, but she’s kind, she’s lovely, she’s generous, she’s softhearted… she’s the most perfect angel, the best thing that ever happened to me, she’s my everything.”

Agad na nanlabo ang paningin ko dahil sa mga luhang nagbabadyang umalpas mula sa mga mata ko habang pinapanood siya. Napatakip ako sa bibig ko upang labanan ang mapa-hikbi at mapahagulgol ng iyak.

“I hope everything is clear now, my Angel Mendoza, didn’t steal anyone, because a woman like her can steal the heart of any man without exerting effort… This sounds corny but Angel Mendoza is the angel of my life. I couldn’t ask for more. I’m not religious, I rarely pray to God before but after I met her, I always thank God for her existence.”

Hindi ko na napigilan ang mga luha ko. Agad na umalpas ang mga luha ko at dumaloy ang mga ’yon sa pisngi ko. Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko, sobrang saya ko hindi dahil nilinis ni Zak ang pangalan ko sa mga tao… sobrang saya ko dahil nagawa niyang ipaalam sa mundo kung gaano niya ako kamahal.

“ My Angelica Louise Mendoza, if you are watching this right now I want you to know that I love you so much, more than anything. Ti amo, ti amo tanto, my angel.“ He took something in the pocket of his leather jacket. It’s a small red box. My eyes widened when he opened it, there’s a ring inside. Ring.

He smiled awkwardly and scratched his nape. Napangiti ako sa pagitan ng pagluha dahil ang cute niya nang gawin niya ’yon, halata sa mukha niya na nahihiya siya harap ng camera.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly.

“My Angel… will you marry me?” he asked and smiled shyly.

Zakarius Cavalcante is always full of surprises.

I took my phone and dialed Zakarius’ number while tears keep on flowing from my eyes. My hands are shaking but I still managed to dial his number. It feels like my heart will explode because of the unbearable happiness he makes me feel right now.

Kinuha ni Zak ang phone niya sa bulsa ng leather jacket niya. Halatang kinabahan siya nang mapatingin doon pero agad din naman niyang sinagot ang tawag ko.

“H-hello, Angel.”

Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko para pakalmahin ang sarili ko. Napangiti ako bago magsalita.

“Y-you surprised the hell out of me, Zakarius… but my answer is yes. Of course I will marry you… and I love you too, baby. I love you so much.”

NOZZE

I never saw myself before being married to someone. Honestly, before, I thought of adopting dogs or cats and just live by myself for the rest of my life.

I don’t know what good thing I have done in my past life to deserve Zakarius Cavalcante, he’s too good for me, he loves me so much in a way no one can’t. Until now, walking down the aisle with my simple white sheath wedding dress on feels surreal. Napatingin ako kay Daddy na katabi ko ngayon. Humigpit ang kapit ko sa braso niya nang mapansin kong naluluha siya. Napangiti na lang ako dahil kanina pa siya hindi nagsasalita.

My baby bump is now visible, I’m now 4 months pregnant, but I don’t care. Maybe, I really gained weight, but Zakarius never failed to make me feel beautiful every day. Araw-araw niyang ipinaparamdam sa akin kung gaano ako kaganda kahit pa may kalakihan na ang tiyan ko… I love him more because of that.

“I can’t believe this is happening, are you really sure about this, darling? We can still take you out of here,” Dad murmured, he’s trying to stop his sobs.

“Daddy naman,” natatawang sabi ko na lang habang tinatanaw si Zak na naghihintay sa akin.

Natanaw ko si Mommy na iyak nang iyak sa puwesto niya sa unahan, tila walang pakialam kahit na humulas pa ang make up niya. Kaunti lang naman ang tao rito sa church, my friends, Castor, Chan, Cassian, and Jaze of course, my maid of honor. Zakarius’ friends are also here, and Cadence is his best man, some of my relatives are also here. I want a peaceful and private wedding kaya walang media sa paligid.

“Dad, thank you for accepting Zakarius. I love you so much, you and Mom are the best parents in the world,” I muttered while still walking slowly with him by my side.

Si Daddy ang unang tumutol nang malaman niyang magpapakasal na kami ni Zak. Agad silang lumipad papunta rito sa Pilipinas at kinausap kami ni Zak. Hindi rin madali ang pinagdaanan ni Zak bago niya napapapayag sina Daddy. But I admire him for not giving up, he showed his love and sincerity to my parents without complains.

Mas bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko habang papalapit kami may Zakarius. He looks dashing with his gray tuxedo. I looked at his glistening blue eyes, his eyes and cheeks are kinda reddish, it seems like he’s just fighting the urge to burst into tears. I smiled while staring at him. Mas emosyonal pa siya kaysa sa akin, halatang mahal na mahal talaga ako ng lalaking ’to.

Halos wala na akong marinig sa paligid nang nasa harap ko na siya ngayon. Tuluyan ng naluha si Dad nang kailangan na niya akong ibigay kay Zak at halos hindi na ito nakapagsalita.

“P-please take care of my daughter, Zak. She means everything to me and my wife, please… please love her with all of your heart,” my Dad said and let out a sob. I held my Dad’s hand and smiled at him

“I will treat her as my queen, Sir. She deserves the best, and I’ll do everything to give her that,” Zakarius said. His voice cracked, it seems like he’s about to cry too.

Dad sighed and just tapped Zakarius’ shoulder. Dad kissed my forehead before going back to his seat, beside Mom. Napatitig sa akin si Zak, he held my hand and clung it on his arm. He smiled at me and took a deep breath.

“I hope I’m not dreaming, Angel,” he muttered. I fought the urge to laugh when I heard him sniffled. Namumula na rin ang ilong niya at mukhang paiyak na talaga siya.

Naglakad na kami papuntang altar. Sa totoo lang kanina ko pa rin gustong maluha sa tuwa, pero mas nangingibabaw sa puso ko ang saya. Zakarius made my life more meaningful, I’m so excited to spend my whole life with him and our future child.

Mas naghuramentado ang puso ko nang sa wakas ay nasa harapan na kami ng pari. Tila sasabog ang puso ko sa tindi ng emosyon na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

“Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Zakarius and Angel in marriage. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife,” the priest said. I took a deep breath as my hands became sweaty.

“I love you,” Zakarius murmured. I just smiled but remained looking at the priest in front of us.

His ‘I love you’ still feels like the first time I heard it from him, ganoon pa rin ang epekto no’n sa ’kin, mas lumala pa nga yata.

“True marriage is more than simply joining two persons together through the bonds of matrimony. It is also the union of two hearts and the blending of two families. It lives on the love you give each other and never grows old, but also thrives on the joy of each new day. Marriage is, and should be, an expression of love. May you always be able to talk things over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life together, and to also share those moments of quiet and peace, when the day is done. May you be blessed with a lifetime of happiness and a home of warmth and understanding.”

Pinakinggan kong maigi ang bawat salitang binibigkas ng pari. I know Zak and I aren’t going to be perfect husband and wife, we will face challenges ahead, but I know the power of our love will be more powerful than any hindrances we’ll face.

“Since it is your intention to enter into the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and His Church,” the priest said.

Zakarius and I held hands while staring at each other’s eyes. His eyes are still glistening, he smiled at me, his blue eyes alone shows how happy he is right now, and I know he can see it in my eyes too.

Zakarius took the mic and start stating his declaration of intent while staring directly into my eyes.

“I, Zakarius, take you, Angel, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part,” Zakarius said. He said it slowly, taking every words to his heart. After that, he gave me the mic.

“I, Angel, take you, Zakarius, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” I don’t know how I managed to say those words without stuttering, or sobbing. My vision is now blurry, I’m about to cry too.

This is probably the happiest moment in my life, I know Zakarius feels the same way, I can see it in his teary eyes. He looks at me as if I’m the only person in his eyes right now, nakatingin siya sa akin na para bang walang ibang tao at kami lang. Hindi ko inakala noon na may taong magmamahal sa akin nang ganito, Zakarius really made my life complete, together with our child.

And now, the moment I’ve been anticipating for… the exchange of vows. I’m prepared with the vow I personally wrote two weeks ago, but I’m still nervous. My hands are literally shaking.

Zakarius took a deep breath and held my hand tightly, preparing himself for his vow. He stared at my eyes and smiled.

“Angelica Louise Mendoza, the angel of my life, the only light in my whole existence, and the only woman who gave me the warmth that I’ve been craving for a long time… I don’t know how many times I thank God for your existence, until now, I think that you’re too good for someone like me… you are so perfect for me, Angel. You’re a miracle that comes to life to make my world a better place, you’re an angel that embraces me with your warm and heavenly wings… Almost all my life, I’ve been so empty. I thought before that someone like me isn’t capable of loving someone, I thought I’m just an empty can with no ability to love and feel someone’s warmth, but then I met you.” Zakarius stopped talking.

He finally burst into tears, he let out a sob. He took the handkerchief from his coat’s pocket and wiped his tears. Seeing him like that made me cry too. Zakarius isn’t scared or shy to show his emotions to me, but right now, seeing him show to our family and friends how happy he right now makes me feel like I’m the luckiest woman alive.

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Angel… The very first time I met you, the first time I saw your radiant smile, the first time I heard your melodious laugh, even the first time I heard your curses…” He paused and chuckled softly. “…I already knew that you are the woman who will have a huge impact to my life, the woman that will be the cause of my downfall and my deliverance, and I was right, loving you makes me a better person every day. I know I’m a man with nothing to be proud of at all, but I will do my best, I promise that I’ll be the man deserving of your love, I promise to cherish you forever. I promise to respect you as a woman, as a person, as my wife, and as the mother of our future children. I promise to trust you, I promise to be with you through the joyful moments and hardships that may come, I promise to laugh with you, cry with you, and grow old with you. I promise to love you with all of my heart, more than I love myself. I love you so much, Angel.”

Hindi ko na nakontrol ang sarili ko at napahagulgol ng iyak habang naglalaro sa pandinig ko ang mga binitiwan niyang salita. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang emosyon at sinseridad sa mga ’yon. He’s looking at me with his teary eyes while saying his heartfelt vow.

I took the mic from him after his vow and smiled, I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. I’m nervous, excited, and happy at the same time.

“Zakarius Cavalcante, my squishy squishy… you’re the man who makes my life more meaningful, the man who accepted me and my flaws, the man who loves me in a way no one can’t, the only man I want to spend my whole life with, and the man I love so much. You always say that I’m beyond perfect in your eyes, that I’m too good for you, but that’s not true, Zak. I’m the luckiest woman alive because I have you, I’m the luckiest woman because God gave me the most lovable man every woman would ever ask for, I’m the luckiest woman because I have you who never failed to show how beautiful and perfect I am in your eyes, I have you who love me so much more than you love yourself.”

Muling naluha si Zak habang nakikinig sa vow ko, tila ba wala na siyang pakialam kahit pa tawanan siya nina Cadence pagkatapos nito, tila wala siyang pakialam sa paligid at ninanamnam ang bawat salitang sinasambit ko.

“I also thank God for your existence, Zakarius. I know we wasted a lot of years, but I know the years ahead of us will be much better, I know our time together as a married couple and our undying love for each other will be our strength to face every challenge that may come. I know our time together won’t be always happy moments as we are not perfect, but I know we will always be at each other’s side, knowing you, you’re a clingy soft boy,” I chuckled while tears are continuously streaming on my cheeks. “I know I won’t be a perfect wife to you nor a perfect mother to our child but I promise to trust you, to respect you, to cherish you, to be with you through thick and thin, and to love you whole-heartedly. I love you so much, Zakarius Cavalcante… Ti amo, ti amo tanto, m-my love.”

“I love you more, my Angel,” he murmured. He’s still crying, halos mamula na ang buong mukha niya.

After our heartfelt exchange of vows, exchange of rings comes after. Pareho kaming naluha habang sinusuotan ng singsing ang isa’t isa. Hindi ko na rin mabilang kung ilang beses akong binulungan ng ‘I love you’ ni Zak.

“And now, by the power vested in me, and as witnessed by friends and family, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”

Pagkasabi no’n ng pari, hindi na nag-aksaya pa ng oras si Zakarius at siniil ako nang magaan at banayad na halik sa labi. Tila ba sa halik niya na ’yon ibinuhos ang pagmamahal na nararamdaman niya para sa akin.

“Finally, you’re now Mrs. Cavalcante… I love you so much, my Angel,” he murmured after the kiss. He caressed my cheeks and gently pinched it. I just smiled and let out a soft chuckle.

“I love you too, my husband.”

---

“Ah, finally.”

Natawa na lang ako nang agad akong yakapin ni Zak pagkapasok na pagkapasok namin sa hotel room namin. Pinupog niya ng halik ang buong mukha ko at marahang hinaplos ang tiyan ko.

Actually, kaninang kanina niya pa gustong umalis kasama ako sa wedding reception, kaso nahihiya siya kina Mom at Dad kaya hinintay na lang namin na matapos.

I looked at Zak. I held his hand and gave a peck on his lips. Halata namang natigilan siya sa ginawa ko.

“Let’s make love,” I said and hugged his nape. Agad siyang napaatras sa akin nang kaunti.

I knew it. Simula nang malaman niyang buntis ako, ayaw na niyang makipag-sex sa akin. Aware naman siya na safe ang sex para sa ’kin at sa baby noong nagpa-check up ako kasama siya pero natatakot pa rin siya.

“That can wait, love. Kaya ko namang mabuhay ng walang sex ng ilang buwan, I can’t risk you and our baby’s safety just to satisfy my sexual needs,” he said in a serious tone and held my tummy.

“Come on, you heard it clearly last time, right? The doctor said that sex is still safe, may benefits pa nga raw ’yon, e,” pangungumbinsi ko pa sa kanya.

Umupo na lang si Zak sa kama at pinaupo ako sa kandungan niya. Napanguso na lang ako nang hawakan niya ang braso ko saka marahang hinaplos ’yon.

“Fine, but before that, sing for me first,” he said and smiled at me. My forehead furrowed.

“Why do you want me to sing?” I asked, confusion is evident in my voice.

I’m a terrible singer, kahit mga fans ko noon ay alam na alam ’yan. Sabi pa nga ng iba sa kanila, um-acting na lang ako at h’wag ng kumanta ulit.

“Wala lang, I just want to. I saw you danced before, but I never heard you sing yet… Come on, kahit chorus lang,” pamimilit niya. Napaismid na lang ako.

“Pangit ang boses ko,” pag-amin ko sa kanya.

“I won’t believe it unless I hear it,” segunda niya. Ang kulit naman ng lahi nito.

“Fine, what do you want me to sing ba?” napipilitang tanong ko saka napairap.

“Anything,” he answered and buried his face on my neck and sniffed it.

Napakamot na lang ako sa batok ko at huminga nang malalim bago nagsimulang kumanta. Bahala na. Sana lang talaga h’wag siyang makipag-hiwalay sa ’kin pagkatapos nito.

“Inside my heart is you, no greater love, no one above you. Inside my heart is you, stay in love always, as I live in your ways… Coz inside my heart is you.”

Inalis niya ang pagkakasubsob sa leeg ko saka napatitig sa mukha ko. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko at hinintay ang sasabihin niya. Bakit nakatulala lang siya sa akin?

“A-ano? Maganda ba boses ko?” kinakabahang tanong ko kahit alam ko namang pangit ’yon.

Zakarius smiled and kissed my lips gently.

“It’s not important, ang mahalaga, mahal kita,” natatawang sabi niya. Napakunot na lang ang noo ko at hinampas ang dibdib niya.

“Kainis ka,” nakasimangot na sabi ko na lang at inirapan siya.

Hinila niya ako pahiga sa kama. Humiga rin siya sa tabi ko at in-unan ang braso niya sa ulo ko saka hinaplos-haplos ang tiyan ko. Hilig na hilig niya talagang haplusin ang tiyan ko.

“Kanta ka pa,” bulong niya saka dinampian ng halik ang sentido ko.

“No, let’s make love,” sabi ko at yumakap sa baywang niya.

Zakarius chuckled and looked at me. He gave me a gentle peck on the lips and caressed my cheek.

“My horny wife is really asking for it, huh,” he muttered and gently pinched my cheek.

“Yes! Let’s do this, let’s take a shower first.” Bumangon ako at hinila rin siya patayo. Natawa na lang siya at nagpatianod sa akin papuntang banyo.

---

Author’s Note:

I haven’t attended a wedding before. I’m honestly clueless about wedding stuffs that’s why I rarely (or maybe I haven’t) wrote a proper wedding scene in my stories before. I just watched a lot of wedding videos and searched for the “I do” stuffs (if you know what I mean) so please bear with my fast-paced or mema wedding scene (lol).

NEXT: Last chapter (Zakarius’ POV) mahaba haba iyon at aackkkk! Basta HAHAHAHAHA

Thank you again 🤧💛 i love y’all, my elies.

LAST CHAPTER

Zakarius Cavalcante

I don’t know what warmth feels like. The world I live in since I was born is a cold and lonely place. That’s maybe the reason why I’m so stiff, I’m not capable of loving someone, I don’t even love myself.

My father, Zachariah Cavalcante, didn’t tell me anything about my mother. I don’t know her name, if she’s still alive or if she has a new family… I know nothing about my mother.

I tried to ask him, kahit pangalan lang gusto kong malaman, but I just ended up being tortured.

“You’re too soft, Zakarius. Anak ba talaga kita?”

He held my jaw tightly and kicked my small body like a piece of trash. Tumama ang likod ko sa pader at halos napabaluktot sa sahig. I’m just 6 years old, but he wants me to act like 30 years old or something.

He doesn’t see me as his son, he only sees me as a vessel for his selfish goals.

After that, I didn’t dare to ask about my mother again. Knowing Zachariah, he’ll just me up to death.

Zachariah is probably one of the most powerful man I know. Even politicians are afraid of him, even I, his own son is afraid of him.

At the age of 10, Zachariah taught me how to use a gun. At my age, I should be holding toys or playing with the kids at my age. At the age of 15, I already know how to fight: guns, hand to hand combat, knives… name it, I mastered it all at an early age.

I was also fifteen when Zachariah started Club dei Gentiluomini Feroci. He gathered vulnerable and young lads who are blinded by selfishness, wrath, and money. Zachariah even built a secret headquarters for us, it is somewhere hidden in the middle of a forest-like place.

Xanthos Archante and his brother, Xceron Archante are the first members. Zachariah saw their potential, sinamantala niya ang galit sa puso ng magkapatid, lalo na ni Xanthos, para sa pansariling kapakanan niya.

“Listen, Zakarius.”

I looked at Zachariah, he’s staring at those lads that he kept, they are currently training right now. They are now practicing how to use gun, how to fight, and how to defend themselves just like what I have gone through.

“You will lead those boys someday, you will lead and help them reach their goals. You will be the leader of the most powerful organization and you will be feared by everyone,” Zachariah said and tapped my shoulder. I just nodded and remained silent.

Is that what I really want? Do I want to be the most powerful and be feared by everyone? I don’t know what I truly want, or maybe, I just don’t care anymore.

“Killing is part of the process in reaching your goal, you have to get used to it,” Zachariah said with no hint of emotions in his blue eyes.

I was stunned, I’m expecting this. I know someday, he will teach us how to kill people too. But I don’t know, my mind’s protesting, but what can I do against Zachariah? Batas ang bawat salita niya.

“What? You want to be a film director?!” Zachariah asked, his voice thundered.

I remained emotionless while looking at him. I want to be a director because I love watching movies, especially indie films. Watching movies makes me feel somewhat relaxed. I can see in the movies those feelings I didn’t get to feel.

“Hindi ka ba nahihiya kina Xanthos? Ha?! All of them chose practical facades, ano’ng mapapala mo sa mga palabas na ’yan?!” Halos maglabasan na ang ugat niya sa sentido dahil sa galit.

“Then make him the leader,” I said in a cold tone.

As I expected, I received a strong punch from him. I remained calm and wiped the blood on the side of my lips. I sighed and stared at him.

“I’ll be a director, Zachariah, whether you like it or not,” I said with finality in my voice.

I studied Bachelor of Fine Arts major in filmmaking in a well-known university in Australia for four years and graduated with Latin honors. Zachariah didn’t support me financially so I just worked hard by myself. I returned to the Philippines after graduating at the age of 21. I’ve got a lot of film directing offers at a young age, but I still want to get a master’s degree in filmmaking.

I hoped… I hoped that Zachariah will be proud of my achievements that I worked hard for by myself, but I was a fool for hoping that.

Arken studied political science and graduated in University of the Philippines, with Latin honors too… Summa cum laude.

Zachariah was so proud of him, he boasted Arken’s achievements not minding what his own son has achieved. He didn’t even congratulate me… For the first time in my life, I felt envy. It was painful, my heart was aching.

“What’s your plan now, Arken?” Zachariah asked and tapped Arken’s shoulder.

“I’ll be studying law, I’ll run as a politician after graduating in law school,” Arken answered coldly. Zachariah smiled widely… he’s so proud of him.

“Dude, napapansin ko kapag may misyon tayo, ako yung laging pumapatay,” reklamo ni Cadence matapos barilin ang drug lord na misyon naming patayin ngayon.

To be honest, I haven’t killed anyone yet. That’s why I always take Cadence with me and let him do the killing stuff and Zachariah doesn’t know about that.

Zachariah wants us to kill everyone that will be a hindrance to our goal, he wants us to take even those innocent lives which I cannot do… hindi ko maaatim na gawin ’yon.

“Zak! Sa likod mo!” Cadence shouted.

Napalingon ako sa likuran ko. One of the drug lord’s men was about to stab me with his knife but I immediately shot him with my gun without thinking.

I just realized what I have done when the man is now lying dead with blood all over the floor. My heart became heavy, it feels like there’s something suffocating me… ang hirap huminga.

“Wow, proud of you, bro. First time kitang nakitang pumatay, ang swabe no’n,” nakangising sabi ni Cad at tinapik pa ang balikat ko.

I didn’t say anything. I remained silent and left him there without saying anything… I killed someone.

I sighed and decided to go to somewhere peaceful… park. Gusto kong maalis ang bigat na narararamdaman ko. I know I should get used to it since it’s the reality of the world I live in… but it really feels heavy inside, heavy but empty at the same time. I couldn’t understand myself anymore.

I sat on the bench and stared at the sunset. I sighed and closed my eyes, I just want myself gone, I want myself out of this shitty mess… I’m so fucked up.

“Masyado kang gandang ganda sa sarili mo! Bitch!”

I saw group of high school girls few meters away from me. Tila nag-aaway ang mga ’yon, may pinagtutulungan silang isang babae sa gitna.

I sighed and scratched my eyebrow, I don’t want to be involved in stuffs like that but I can’t take my eyes off them. What are they fighting for? Naaawa ako sa babaeng pinagtutulungan nila… Four versus one, kinda unfair.

“Papansin ka talaga sa mga lalaki, Angel! You’re a bitch, siguro bitch din ang Mama mo ’no?!” the other girl shouted and pushed the girl named Angel… poor girl.

I stood up, I can’t take this anymore. Tatakutin ko lang nang kaunti ang mga batang ’yon, they shouldn’t be bullying someone. Akmang lalapit na ako sa kanila ngunit gano’n na lang ang gulat ko nang halos tumalsik ang babaeng nanulak kay Angel.

“Don’t call my Mom a bitch!” the girl named Angel shouted and pulled the hair of the other girl and kicked her abdomen… my lips parted in shock.

Halata namang natakot ang ibang babae sa ginawa niya. The girl named Angel glared at them and was about to punch the other girl but they immediately ran away from her, leaving her alone. My lips are still parted, I was stunned, she’s so strong.

I was taken aback when the girl named Angel looked at my direction. Tumingin siya nang masama sa akin saka lumapit din. I inhaled deeply and stopped myself from breathing when she was finally in front of me.

Her hair and her uniform was messy… but she still looks cute. I looked at her uniform’s necktie… 3rd year high school. So I think she’s around 14 or 15 years old now.

She still managed to look cute even though her hair’s messy. Her brown eyes are beautiful, her nose is kinda small but pointed, she has naturally long eyelashes, her eyebrows are thin, she has thin but cute lips and heart shaped face, and her tan skin suits her well… she smells good too, I can smell her flowery scent right now.

“Nakita mo ng nabu-bully ako but you did nothing!” the girl named Angel shouted. My eyes widened, I looked at her in disbelief. What?

“H-ha?” I asked. 

“You don’t have concern sa mga naaapi like me! Do you even have balls, Sir?” she asked and raised her eyebrow. I blinked once again and gulped.

Why am I nervous? She’s just a high school girl for heaven’s sake.

“S-sorry, but I think you handled them so well, I-I almost thought you’re a gangster,” I muttered.

Naningkit ang mga mata niya sa sinabi ko. She just rolled her eyes at me and stomped her feet on the ground.

“Whatever!”

Pagkasabi no’n, tinalikuran na niya ako saka umalis. Doon lang ako nakahinga nang maluwag. A high school girl just made me nervous… What’s wrong with her?

ZACHARIAH DIED in a car accident… but oddly, I didn’t cry.

“Tsk tsk tsk, patay na si Zachariah, nakakalungkot naman,” Cadence said while shaking his head and puffed on his cigarette.

I remained emotionless while staring at him inside his coffin. I don’t know what to feel, I don’t know why I’m not crying, am I still a normal person?

“I’ll go out,” I said and left the headquarters.

Nagpunta ako sa park na pinuntahan ko last time. I sat on the bench where I sat last time and stared at the night sky.

I sighed and closed my eyes, sinubukan kong pakiramdaman kung ano ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. And then I realized, my heart is aching. It feels like something is stabbing my heart… masakit pala.

I bit my lower lip and opened my eyes as my vision became blurry. Zachariah is heartless, Zachariah never treated me like his son, Zachariah never show me his love amd affection… but he’s my only family. I have nothing left now.

I failed to protect Zachariah… I wish I have told him that I love him, sana nagawa ko man lang sabihin na mahal ko siya bago siya nawala.

I sobbed and wiped my tears. My chest feels painful… I’m now alone… I’m scared.

Natigilan ako nang maramdaman kong may umupo sa tabi ko. I instantly wiped my tears, napatingin ako sa babaeng umupo sa tabi ko.

The girl named Angel.

“Why are you crying, Sir?” she asked. I blinked because her voice is different from the last time… mukhang naaawa siya sa akin, I can see it in her brown eyes.

I avoided her gaze as my knees instantly weakened. She saw me like that, it’s embarrassing.

“I-I’m not.”

She took a handkerchief from her bag. Lumapit siya sa ’kin at marahang pinahid ang pisngi ko. I was stunned, my eyes widened as my lips parted. I looked at her, our eyes met.

“I’m sorry for being rude last time, umiiyak ka ba dahil naalala mo ’yon?” she asked innocently. She seems worried about me and it makes my heart flutter.

I shook my head in response.

“No, I-I just… I just want to cry,” I said and turned my gaze away from her again.

I suddenly want to ask why she’s still here at this time but I’m embarrassed, baka isipin niya na masyado akong nakikialam.

“Why are you crying? There must be a reason,” she mumbled.

“You must not talk to strangers,” sabi ko na lang. Napatingin naman siya sa akin.

“What’s your name, Sir?” she asked.

Should I answer that?

“Zak.”

She just nodded and gave me a small smile.

“I’m Angel,” pagpapakilala niya.

I know.

Natigilan ako nang hawakan niya ang braso ko, she made me face her. She smiled at me and held both of my cheeks and gently pinched it.

“Kuya Zak, I know you cried because of some reason that I don’t know, but you can do it. Cheer up.” She pinched both of my cheeks again. “Squishy squishy,” she muttered.

Squishy squishy? What’s that?

That night, she cheered me up. Her name suits her so well… she’s an angel who saved me with her simple gesture. 

WHEN ZACHARIAH died, I honestly want to end the organization for I don’t want to continue this shit anymore. I don’t want to lead them… don’t want to become like Zachariah.

But looking at those men, some of them has a serious purpose for joining this ridiculous organization, like Xanthos… They need feroci, feroci is their hope.

Wala na akong nagawa kundi ang patakbuhin ang feroci, marami akong binago… but I think I handled feroci better than Zachariah.

“My number one rule, don’t kill innocent people.” Halatang natigilan sila sa sinabi ko.

“That’s impossible, we can’t say if someone is innocent or not,” Dravis said and smirked.

“If he or she is not part of the mission, spare his life… that’s it, Dravis,” I said coldly at him.

Ever since I became the new leader, I didn’t come to that park again. I can’t be swayed, feroci’s future depends on me.

SIX YEARS have passed. Club dei Gentiluomini Feroci is still standing strong, we became more powerful as the years go by. We gained a lot, we took a lot, we killed a lot… and my world became darker… and colder.

Maybe I just have to accept that I need to live like this for the rest of my life.

I became a successful film director, all of the feroci members became successful with their career too… but we don’t call it like that, we call it our facade.

My plan for my future is clear… That is to live like hell and wait for the moment I die. I’ll just live like this for the rest of my life… but then I saw her again, the girl named Angel. But this time, she’s now a beautiful woman, she’s not a cute girl anymore.

Nagkaroon kami ng shooting sa university na pinapasukan niya… It’s good to see her smiling and laughing with her friend, it seems like she finally found a real friend.

We finally had a time together again on the abandoned building’s rooftop. I’m kinda disappointed because she doesn’t remember me anymore, but well, six years have passed, I can’t blame her.

I became more attached to her as time goes by, I found myself falling in love with her. My day isn’t complete without seeing her especially her smile, my day ain’t complete without hearing her voice… actually, just looking at her is enough to make my tiredness and my loneliness go away… she gave purpose to my life.

“My Mom is the best mother, kung magkaka-asawa man ako at magiging Mommy rin, gusto kong maging katulad ni Mommy,” Angel said and smiled at me.

My heart beats faster seeing her smile like that. Heavenly. Seeing her smile feels heavenly, damn, I’m so in love with her.

“Yeah, you look like a mother,” I muttered and turned his gaza away from her.

“What?! Sinasabi mo bang mukha akong nanay?!” naiinis na tanong ni Angel. I looked at her again, I smiled awkwardly at her and nodded.

She looks like the mother of my future children.

Every moment I spent with her was heavenly. She’s a real angel who saved me from my dark world… Mahal ko siya, mahal ko si Angel.

“Director Cavalcante!”

May pamilyar na babaeng lumapit sa ’kin, maybe I met her before.

“Hello, direk. I’m Jazelyn Hernaez, Jaze na lang,” pagpapakilala niya.

Ah, Jaze, she’s Angel’s friend. I remember her now.

“Hello,” I said and smiled faintly at her.

Maybe, entertaining her approach is the worst decision I’ve made. Nahiya lang naman talaga ako na hindi siya pansinin dahil kaibigan siya ni Angel. I won’t even look at her if she’s not Angel’s friend.

“I like you, Zak.”

My nightmare began, Jaze confessed her feelings for me.

“I can’t like you back. I’m in love with your friend.” I instantly rejected her. I feel bad for her, ako pa ang nagustuhan niya, but I can’t do anything about that. My heart only belongs to Angel.

As expected, she was devastated and broken. I thought she will finally stop there but she didn’t, she just became more persistent than before.

That’s why I decided to finally confess my love for Angel… but it seems like circumstances are really against us.

Jaze saw me killed someone, it was a spy tailing me that was sent by some organization against us. I can’t let our enemies know about me, no one knows my identity as feroci’s leader except the members. Angel will surely be in danger since I spend time with her… That’s why I killed the spy without a blink of an eye.

“Y-you’re a killer,” Jaze said while looking at the spy I killed, lying on the ground, lifeless.

Damn, it seemed like she stalked me and followed me here. Fuck.

Hindi ako nakapagsalita. I’m nervous, I’m scared, paano kung sabihin niya kay Angel? Matatakot sa ’kin si Angel, kamumuhian niya ’ko… hindi niya ako mamahalin.

I can’t kill Jaze, she’s innocent… and she’s Angel’s only friend. What am I going to do?

Ilang gabi akong hindi nagpakita kay Angel dahil do’n. I’m scared, my anxiety is killing me… What if Angel knows about it already?

“Gusto mo bang hindi ko sabihin kay Angel ang nakita ko?” Jaze asked while staring at me. She doesn’t even seems scared about the fact that I killed someone.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked in a low tone.

“Be my boyfriend,” she said and smiled at me.

I was taken aback with her answer. My forehead creased and my knees weakened. Is she fucking serious?

“You know, Zak. I have a video of what you did that night… Angel will surely believe me,” she said and smirked at me.

I know it’s foolish, but I let her rule over me because of that. Nauna ang takot sa puso ko… takot na baka kamuhian ako ni Angel at matakot siya sa akin.

Inisip ko na lang na baka hindi talaga kami para sa isa’t isa. She’s too good for me anyway, someone like her is too perfect, too heavenly, and I don’t deserve someone like her.

Jaze on the other hand, I never treated her like a girlfriend, we’ve been together for how many years but I don’t know why I didn’t even like her. Wala akong naramdaman para sa kanya, kahit kaunti.

Angel became a successful actress, and damn, I’m so proud of her… and for the past years, my feelings for her is still the same… I’m still in love with her.

“Wow, dude, fanboy ka pala ni Angel Mendoza,” nakangiwing sabi ni Cadence at binuklat ang magazines ni Angel na kaka-deliver lang sa bahay ko.

“Don’t touch it.” I took the magazine from him.

I know it’s weird, but I started collecting her magazines and pictures ever since she entered showbiz industry. Hindi ko rin pinapalagpas panoorin ang mga palabas niya at ang award ceremonies kung saan palagi siyang nananalo.

“Congratulations, my Angel,” I murmured while looking at her from afar. She’s having her speech because she just won the best actress award, again.

“Damn, this is tiring.”

Nakakapagod magbuklat nang magbuklat ng magazines at pictures ni Angel, masakit sa braso.

I sighed and stared at the wall. I’m here inside my secret room where I put my ammunitions. This is one of my favorite place because it’s so dark in here.

I looked at the magazines and then looked at the wall again. Doon ko naisipang idikit ang pictures ni Angel para hindi ko na kailangang magbuklat nang magbuklat, nakakapagod kasi.

But another nightmare came… I don’t know how Jaze discovered my secret room, she was so mad at me when she saw that.

“So until now, you still love her?!” she asked frantically. Umiyak siya, kahit papa’no, nakaramdaman ako ng awa sa kanya.

“I didn’t tell you that I stopped loving her,” I said and looked at her coldly. Kailangan ko na siyang diretsahin dahil wala siyang aasahan sa akin.

“H-how about me, Zak? All those years that we spent together… wala lang ba sa’yo ang mga ’yon? Pinaasa mo lang ba ako?” lumuluhang tanong niya.

“You know, you are aware that I feel nothing about you right from the start. I never told you that I love you, I never showed you affection… kaya hindi kita pinaasa, Jaze.”

Jaze left my house crying that day, but days after that, she texted me that she will take a break and leave, but she’ll tell Angel about the fact that I kill people and about my secret room once she came back.

“What will she react if she saw this? What do you think, Cad?”

Cad’s mouth agape when I showed him my secret room. Napangiwi siya saka napatakip sa bibig niya.

“Putang ka-creepy mo, dude. Kung ako si Angel, matatakot talaga ako sa ’yo,” napapailing na sabi niya. Mas lalo akong kinabahan.

“What’s so creepy about that? Napagod lang naman ako magbuklat palagi,” pagdadahilan ko. Cadence laughed and tapped my shoulder.

“Dude, ano’ng iisipin mo kapag nakita mo akong may secret room tapos punong puno ng pictures mo?” tanong niya. My forehead furrowed.

“Fucking creepy,” I mumbled and pushed him away from me.

“Exactly, creepy ’di ba? E, hindi naman kayo close dalawa. Maliban na lang kung mag-jowa kayo, baka medyo kiligin pa ’yon, kaso hindi, e. Kabahan ka talaga kapag sinabi ni Jaze kay Angel ang tungkol diyan, baka mas matakot pa siya riyan kaysa sa katotohanang pumapatay ka ng tao, e.”

I sighed and massaged my temple.

“You have to find Jaze, Cad. Babayaran kita kahit magkano.” Napangisi si Cad sa sinabi ko.

“Sure thing, boss.”

KIDNAPPING ANGEL wasn’t part of the plan. Hindi ko alam kung ano’ng pumasok sa isip ko at ginawa ko ’yon. Alam kong kapag bumalik si Jaze, ilalaglag niya rin naman ako kay Angel… kaya bahala na.

I just showed her who I really am, I showed her that I’m a killer. I don’t know why did I do that. Itinago ko sa kanya ang katotohanan na ’yon nang matagal. Maybe I want her to hate me… gusto kong matakot siya sa ’kin. Gusto kong kamuhian n’ya ako para makalimutan ko na siya pagkatapos nito.

But it feels like all of those years that I distanced myself from her became nothing because she still accepted me even though she discovered that I’m a killer. I want to be with her even just for a few days… I just want to show my love for her for a few days. After that, I’ll leave her alone for good, she doesn’t deserve someone like me. She deserves a better man… like Castor, perhaps. But things go out of hand when I fell in love with her deeper. Mas tumindi pa ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya, I can’t even imagine my life without her now.

Those moments with her were truly magical and heavenly. Mas lalo ko siyang minamahal sa bawat oras na lumilipas.

Jaze came back. She’s honestly problematic, she’s mentally unstable. She said she’ll end her own life and I can’t just let her be… I pity her for loving someone like me for a long time. Pinagbigyan ko lang siya ng ilang araw kahit na nasasaktan ako kapag nakikitang nasasaktan si Angel… pero itinigil ko na rin lahat dahil hindi ko na talaga kaya. I want to be with my Angel, only with her. Living without her is like death to me, I love her so much… only her.

“Fine! Hahayaan ko na kayo! Gawin mo na kung ano’ng gusto mo!” Jaze shouted while crying her heart out. Naaawa ako sa kanya pero wala akong magawa, I can’t love her back, I will never love her back.

“I’m sorry, Jaze. You’ll find a better man for you. Please don’t end your life just because of me. Please.”

I don’t love Jaze, I never loved her but I don’t want her to die because of me. Yes, I killed a lot of people but I don’t want her to take her life because I can’t love her back. She’ll have a better life ahead of her… without me.

Before I pursued Angel, I fixed my affairs with feroci first.

“Aalis ka na sa feroci?” Cadence asked, shocked.

“I’m sorry if I have to leave you all… but I really want to be happy this time. I-I can’t live like this forever. I need Angel, I need her in my life. I love her so much.”

They were quiet for a moment. I was honestly nervous that time. I’m their leader, but I’m the one who left first.

“Do what you want. If that what makes you happy, go for it. But rules are rules, you’ll give us all the assets that you’ve got from our organization. Is that okay with you?” Ashteroh asked while looking at me intently.

I gave them a small smile and nodded. “No problem.”

“Ayos! Trilyon ’yang pera ni Zak, e. Ehem guys, hatiin natin nang ayos ha. Walang dugaan,” sabi naman ni Cadence.

Napailing na lang ako. Mukhang masaya pa ang mga loko-lokong ’to na aalis na ’ko.

“Alam naman namin na hindi ka makaalis ng feroci dahil sa ’min, Zak. Masyado mo kaming iniingatan at pinahahalagahan lahat pati na rin ang goal namin kaya namin ginagawa ’to. Sorry for taking your happiness away from you. You’ve been a great leader, you’re probably way better than Zacharias. Sobrang laking kawalan ka sa grupo, pero sa pagkakataong ’to piliin mo na ang tunay na magpapasaya sa ’yo,” sabi ni Eron saka tinapik ang balikat ko.

Pakiramdam ko naalis ang mabigat sa puso ko nang tuluyan na akong umalis sa feroci. May bago na silang leader, pero hindi na nila sinabi sa akin. Simula ngayon labas na ’ko sa lahat ng transaksyon at mga ginagawa nila.

I pursued Angel after I left feroci, I finally told and showed her how much I love her. I was happy because my feroci friends still support me even though I’m not with them anymore.

Ako yata ang naging pinakamasaya nang sabihin niyang mahal niya rin ako. I never thought I’ll be able to feel that kind of happiness even though I don’t deserve it.

But I think Jaze will be always the cause of our separation, she’s pregnant and she claimed that it was my child. I know nothing happened between us but I couldn’t trust my drunken moments.

Jaze wanted us to get married, I instantly disapproved, I can’t marry someone I don’t love.

“Jaze, I can’t marry you. I love Angel, I love her so much. Please, I’m begging you, will you please let us be together now. I-I will support the baby in any ways I can, please, let me be with her now. Gusto ko namang sumaya, Jaze. I’ve been alone my whole life… Angel gives me warmth, Angel is my home, Angel is my heaven… M-my life will be meaningless without her.”

Patuloy na lumuluha si Jaze habang sinasabi ko ang mga ’yon, iyon din ang naging huling laban niya… She finally admitted that the child isn’t mine, she finally gave up.

“I’m sorry for causing you pain for the past years, Zak. Sumobra ang pagmamahal ko sa ’yo na napapahirapan na pala kita. I’m sorry… P-please be happy with her, Zak.” She finally gave up.

“You too, please be happy, Jaze. I know someone will come and will give you the love that you deserve,” I said and smiled at her.

Finally.

---

“Direk, natunog cellphone mo.”

I looked at the assistant director, he gave me my phone. I just nodded and took my phone from him. Napangiti na lang ako nang makita ang pangalan ng mahal ko sa caller ID… My Angel.

I instantly amswered the call.

“Daddy!”

My smile grew wider when I heard my little angel’s voice. Mukhang kinuha na naman niya ang phone ng Mommy niya.

“Hello, my little angel,” I said while still smiling like an idiot.

Zureen Angela Cavalcante, my four-year-old angel, never failed to make me smile like her mother… I can’t imagine my life without them, everything about them is heavenly, they are my home… my heaven.

“Daddy, I want to make sumbong to you,” she murmured over the phone. I chuckled, damn, my little angel is so cute.

“Hmm, go ahead,” I said and tapped my fingers on the table.

“Someone fliwted with Mommy kanina sa mall, he’s tall just like you and he’s hansome too.”

Fliwted… flirted?

Agad na napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi ni Zureen.

“Who the fu– I mean, who dared to flirt with your Mom, Zureen?” Halos magdikit na ang dalawang kilay ko sa inis.

“I don’t know his name, Daddy. You have to come home and confwont Mommy… and please buy a make up kit for me, I love you po!”

Hindi na ako nakasagot dahil ibinaba rin nito ang tawag. I just shook my head and smiled, Zureen is really the mini version of her mother.

“Leo, ikaw na’ng bahala. I have to go home,” I said to my assistant director, Leo. Hindi ko na siya hinintay sumagot at agad na umalis ng set.

I bought a make up kit for Zureen first before going home, I also bought fruits for Angel.

“Daddy!”

I smiled when Zureen welcomed me with her tight hug. I carried her and pinched her soft cheek. My little angel giggled and clung her short arms around my nape, she planted wet kisses all over my face, I just chuckled and put her down… natanggal agad ang pagod ko.

“Here’s your make up kit, little angel. Itago mo sa Mommy mo ’yan. Papagalitan tayo,” bulong ko saka kinurot ang maliit na ilong niya.

“Thank you, Daddy! You’re the best, I love you!” She showed me her cute and bright smile.

“I love you more, little angel.” I kissed her forehead. “Go to your room and try those on. I’ll just talk to your Mom.”

Tumango na lang si Zureen at agad na tumakbo papuntang silid niya. Nagtungo naman ako sa kuwarto namin ni Angel… I need to talk to her.

Naabutan ko si Angel na nakaupo sa kama habang may kausap sa phone. She didn’t even notice I came in. I leaned on the door and crossed my arms over my chest.

Hindi na nag-artista ulit si Angel, pero reporter na ulit siya. She got a lot of film offers but she turned them all down and became a reporter instead. Hindi ko naman siya tinutulan, susuportahan ko siya kung saan siya masaya.

“My goodness, Jaze. Bakit bumigay ka kaagad kay Damien?! Nanggigigil ako ha.”

I smiled while staring at her. Ang ganda niya pa rin kahit galit.

She looked at my direction, her eyes widened and her sexy lips parted. She said bye to Jaze and ended the call. Agad siyang tumayo at lumapit sa akin.

“Bakit ang aga mo umuwi?” she asked and smiled at me.

Seryoso akong tumitig sa kanya, nawala ang ngiti niya dahil do’n.

I locked the door behind me and smirked at her. She blinked and gulped when I started removing my leather jacket.

Damn, her effect on me didn’t change. I’m still crazy over her. Sa bawat taong nagdaan, mas lalo ko pa siyang minamahal.

“We’ll just talk about something, my wife. Who was the guy who flirted with you at the mall, hmm?” I asked and threw my leather jacket on the floor.

Angel just sexily smirked at me and clung her arms around my neck.

“Hmm, someone flirted with me at the mall, my dear husband… What are you gonna do now? Hmm?” she asked and traced my chest with the tip of her index finger, teasing me.

“Ah, my wife wants to be punished, huh.”

My wife giggled when I suddenly carried her to the bed. My wife is an angel but also a temptress at the same time… the duality of my wife is the best.

Damn, I love this woman so much. Angelica Louise Cavalcante captured my heart right from the start… and I’m willing to be her captive forever.

• • • ~ ~ ~ * * *

Thank you Angelica Louise Malabad for letting me use your name. I love you, friend 💛

Thank you for reading this story despite its flaws, errors, and loopholes. You’ve been with me on my writing journey and watched me improve in every story 🤧

Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts about this story. I’ll read your comments and will surely appreciate it. Thank you, my elies. I love you all 💛

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NEXT

Chasing the Forbidden (SERIE FEROCI 3)

Kiara Amaris North knew that her parents are not really in love with each other, she was just a product of a loveless marriage. On her 24th birthday, her mother announced that she wants to be legally separated from her father because she has a new boyfriend. But of course, she won’t let that happen, she’ll do anything to save her parents’ marriage even if that means she has to seduce her mother’s boyfriend, Xanthos Archante.

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