1. Now This Is A Story All About How My Life Got Flipped Turned Upside Down

Long ass A/N at the end of this first chapter, but it includes changes I’ve made to the story, so please read!

Derek

Getting arrested was not how this story was supposed to start, yet here I am- in processing.

Do I regret my actions?

Absolutely not! I got to marry a couple I gave the most of a fuck about, in a venue I would’ve killed a man to enter again.

Now would I have done some things a little differently?

Well yeah… I probably would have invested in a better peel and stick mustache. Who knew the dollar general was no place for elaborate, well made disguises. I sure didn’t.

If you followed the story of Christian Ivanov and Alexander Hamilton, you probably know the rundown of how I landed myself here. For the uneducated few who clearly don’t love themselves enough to invest in that chaotic yet exhilarating ride, no worries, allow me to fill you few fools in…

It all started when Alex decided to have his wedding at The Gardens-

Well, actually, it wasn’t his wedding at first but with a weird twist of fate, he ended up wedding his soulmate… who’s wedding it actually was all along…

I’m starting to realize this story has got a whole lot of twists, so if you don’t fancy my botched explanation, phone a friend and have them explain this shit. I don’t have a lot of time right now to start from their beginning, only enough time to start from mine.

So back to The Gardens.

Me and this venue go way back, a couple years to be exact. There were a few instances that occurred which landed me on their ban list, and if you need a reference for how badly I fucked up all future chances of entering this place again, my name is the only name on that damn ban list.

This story is a conflicting one, yet some would argue most of the stories that involve me, are. If you ask me, I’d say that this wasn’t my fault, but if you asked my date and girlfriend of six months, she’d tell you to tell me to go all the way to fucking hell.

Luckily she’s not the one telling the story.

Ah, Tina Goldman.

Tina, Tina, Tina.

She really just might have been the love of my life, regardless of only spending 6 months together. Joan says I say this about all my exes, but I really did mean it this time.

If you guessed that the night I got officially banned from The Gardens, was the night that Tina and I broke up, you guessed correctly. They were actually directly related to each other.

I had had my fair share of disputes with the staff in the past, but I can honestly say the argument that transpired there on August 16th of 2018 had nothing to do with them, and everything to do with the toxicity between Tina and myself.

That I will take some accountability for. We were a bit of a mess that night.

I should’ve probably smoked a bit before taking her out there, and Tina should’ve laid off the shots at the bar, but shit happens. It started with us having a pretty waitress, then it was all downhill from there.

Tina made some sly remark about my history of cheating, and I told her to fuck off respectfully because within those six months of us seeing each other, I surprisingly didn’t even bat an eyelash at another woman.

Hence why I think Tina really was the one that got away.

After telling this slightly- nah, pretty drunk woman to drop the subject and let us enjoy this very nice, very expensive six month anniversary dinner, things just spiraled further.

One minute, she was calling me a cheater, the next, all of The Gardens now knew I was one “good for nothing stoner” with no direction, or sense of security in my life.

The events that transpired after that, included actions I’m man enough to admit I’m not proud of.

I believe I hurled some of my tomato based linguini pasta at her $2500 white Chanel dress right after her little outburst.

I only knew this much information about that damn dress because she screamed it at the top of her lungs while security dragged us the hell out of there, then proceeded to send me an invoice for the dress two months later.

I know my actions weren’t the greatest, but she, too, made some wild decisions. She managed to get her remaining Pinot noir wine all over my white button down right before security yanked her back. Was this Target dress shirt anywhere near as expensive as what she was wearing?

No.

Was it of equal value?

Absofuckinglutely. Plus tomato sauce is nowhere near the same staining level as red wine. This was why I ignored her bullshit invoice she sent, and sent her one for my shirt that still has that fucking drink stain on it.

Anyways, I’m getting ahead of myself here. The night ended with us being escorted off the premises, and me specifically being told I could never return here. Tina didn’t make the ban list because Tina had no priors with the staff. I, on the other hand, had history there.

And this was why I needed to purchase a disguise to get in. I’d say it worked out pretty well up until it came time for me to wed arguably my most favorite people in the world, besides Joan of course.

When I got up to the alter, I knew my time would be limited. I could feel the fake mustache pulling on more of my peach fuzz as it inevitably started to peel off, and when I made eye contact with that absolute bitch of a manager and her security, operation Get Out was a go.

Many years of track and field had trained me for the heroic sprint I did off that stage before zooming out the door, and I would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for the meddling sea of cops that confronted me at the front gates.

So one hour later and here I am, chilling in a jail cell next to one guy that smells like farts, and another who hasn’t taken his eyes off me since I sat down on this disgusting bench. All I can do is keep a mean muggin face on and pray that the six foot something giant is terrified of all five foot eight of me.

I always was a little terrified of being taken advantage of in jail, but a large part of myself was quite confident that Christian and Alex would show up to bail me out. I mean, how could they not? I was the one who married them when that jackass of a Father wouldn’t. One could say I became the step-Father, but I’d like to think I was the Father that stepped up.

Just a little bit of gay and people wanted to start catching attitudes in there. I could never understand anyone caring that much, but whatever, I heard the priests are touching children these days anyhow.

“What you in here for, good looking?” The man who’s gaze was cemented to the side of my face, asked. I could only make out his features through my peripheral vision cause no way in fucking hell was I going to make direct eye contact with him.

He had darker clearly artificially tanned skin- I could tell just by the whiteness of his palms alone, and paired that with dark brown almost black hair. The first thing I saw was that creepy ass smile when I entered the cell, with teeth that looked like he ate rocks as his source of vitamins.

We were a healthy distance apart as he stood in the corner of the cell, yet I swear on my mother I could smell his breath from here. I just held my own breath best I could and tried not to gag.

Where art thou, Alexander Hamilton? I thought to myself.

The creepy dude took a step towards me when I failed to answer his question, and my heart did that thing where it threw itself off rhythm like that one white guy at the club.

Okay no seriously, where the fuck are you Alex?

“Derek Holding!” An officer practically belted as he suddenly appeared at the cell doors. It was so unexpected, I visibly jumped.

It disgusted me to hear people used my official government last name, but I guess it didn’t get more government than law enforcement, and in this particular moment, I couldn’t have been more happy to hear it.

“Yes!” I sprung to my feet, practically charging the man down as he worked to get the cell door open.

“You made bail. Let’s go.”

Those words just made my massive grin widen. Creepy guy with the fucked up teeth tried to say something before I disappeared presumably forever, but I sure as hell didn’t wait to hear what that was. I could already taste freedom, and it tasted like the chocolate cake I was about to absolutely obliterate from Alex’s wedding.

The officer handed me the items I had on me before booking, which included my fake mustache and my cellphone, before directing me to head out through a second set of doors on my left.

I was expecting the warmest greeting from my friends as I pushed those heavyset doors open, but the person I came face to face with on the other side was someone I least expected. Someone I honestly didn’t know if I would ever see again.

It was none other than John Terry .

I was so baffled by what this man was doing here in the waiting area, I hadn’t quite figured out words yet. Luckily he had a few good words of his own to share with me, as he lifted up a white plastic bag with some sort of container inside.

“I brought cake,” John Terry said with a mesmerizing grin.

••

A/N:

Well hello there lovelies!

If you’ve been keeping up with this story, you know it’s been some time since I’ve last updated

And if you’ve been keeping up with me, you know that’s because I’ve been writing a new book for the last year through the Creators Program (which is now complete- yay!)

Eyes Like Sky (boyxboy) - check it out in my published works

It’s the sweetest, most romantic yet heartbreaking story I’ve ever written, and I recommend you go give it a little once over to see if you might like it

I’m still in absolute aw of how incredibly supportive readers are on here, but my readers in particular- yall gon do it for me every single mfucking timee. Thank you so much for the support!

But now that we’ve closed the chapter on that book, it’s time to pick up something a little more fun again yeah?

That being said, I’m ready to jump in with this one, but there’s some tweaks I’ve made that you should know about before we continue our little rendezvous

For starters,

this book will now be centered around a BDSM relationship…

I’m ready to see the reactions with that one lol ;)

I will always still include a warning before any of the steamy scenes for anyone who isn’t comfortable reading that, and if you’ve read my other work, you know how much I value clear consent in my works

This means this relationship will never stretch past what both parties are comfortable doing, and I’ll never ask my readers to put themselves in an uncomfortable position entertaining that dogshit take that consent is a gray area.. like in Fifty Shades Of… you know what, I won’t even start with E.L. James and her horrible ass writing

This story will revolve around two men learning about that other side of their sexual urges/preferences, through a shit ton of communication and trust.

And humor.

Cause it’s Derek.

If that in particular isn’t your cup of tea I completely understand, I just want my readers to know that this is a safe space. I could never, ever, write stories/dark romance like that. I don’t knock the girlies who like to read it, but that subject matter needs to be treated with the care it demands, and in my opinion, too many writers miss the mark with it

So I’m blaming the writers, idgaf

Anywhooo, enjoy the edited chapters if you need to catch up, and the first new chapter

I love you all so very much

Take care of yourselves, and lets have some fun :)

xoxo

I decided to add the incredible fan art I’ve received down below because my readers are literally the most gifted people in the work, thank you!!

Fan Art:

TouchLiit

Illustraice

2. Don’t Forget To Bring Some Cake!

John

“Arrested?”

“Yeah it’s a long story,” Christian replied, weaving the both of us away from another group of people that looked like they were pining for Christian’s attention. Somehow the reception had gotten rowdy, but I would assume it was due to the fact that everyone on Christian’s side of the family was a drinker. Heavy drinkers to be precise.

Surprisingly, Christian seemed pretty sober tonight. I’d later find out that him and Alex were actually completely sober, whereas Joan and Brad were clearly helping themselves to the open bar.

“That’s a story I’d like to hear,” I spoke honestly. Derek being arrested peaked every interest I had in that odd man.

“I’m sure you’ll hear all about it in a few. Alex and I are going to go bail him out right now, and we should be back soon.” Christian replied. He was slipping off a suit coat that someone had already spilled a drink on, before he set it behind one of the unused dj booths. Luckily we were the farthest from the one in use, which was blaring some wedding classics out into the reception space of The Gardens.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I quipped back almost immediately. “You can’t leave your own wedding Christian.”

He slowly straightened out his tie as he started to give my words some thought. “I mean, I guess you’re right. While me and my very sober… well husband now, wouldn’t mind taking a break from these drunk guests, I guess they’re our drunk guests to deal with. I could probably send someone from the company?”

“Or I can go,” I offered, not even processing the words before they left my mouth. The look Christian gave me was almost pure confusion, mixed with just a dash of shock. “I mean- I just got here so I haven’t started drinking yet, and I’m sure Derek would want to see a familiar face instead of some random employee.” I tried to explain my now worked out reasoning.

“I… guess? I don’t know, I feel like you probably have more important things to do, right? I mean, you always do- you mentioned your schedule was pretty intense today, and you could only stop by for a bit. I wouldn’t want you to spend your free time down at the precinct.” Christian straightened his tie again. “Plus, push comes to shove, Derek could always spend a night there and we’ll bail him out in the morning.”

Christian was being pretty nonchalant with the whole situation, which further solidified my thoughts that Derek must’ve gotten arrested for some pretty stupid shit.

I thought back to the first time I ran into that bundle of nerves in Hawaii. It was quite the coincidence that he had made it out for the hotdog eating competition on the same weekend I gifted Christian, Alex, Joan, and Brad a little couples vacation.

I could still recall the brief conversation we had the morning of. He was gearing up to take home first, which was pretty exhilarating to hear about.

I didn’t remember much of the people I met with so briefly, but hell would freeze over before I could forget Derek.. willingly or not.

“I don’t mind at all. I can always clear up some of my schedule, plus it would be nice to catch up with you and Alex for a bit longer. Apparently a lot has happened since our time in Hawaii.” I replied, gesturing to the beautiful venue Christian had managed to rent out for this special day… that I knew nothing about until today. He was lucky I was already in this city for a weekend convention otherwise I would’ve missed the whole shindig all together.

I was set to fly back to New York tonight which was why I told Christian that, as much as I’d love to, I couldn’t stay long.

Upon seeing Christian fully married, and hearing Derek was in holding, I made the executive decision that New York could wait till tomorrow.

Christian chuckled at my comment, giving me a nod. “I definitely did not see me marrying Alex, coming.” My eyebrows furrowed slightly at that statement when Christian sounded genuinely confused about this wedding, but I let him continue. “I’ll send you the location for where he’s being held, and I’ll wire the bond amount first thing tomorrow morning.”

My hand raised to dismiss him. “Don’t worry about that. I’m sure you’ll find a way to return the favor.” I replied, already starting to weave my way back towards the entrance of The Gardens.

“Oh, John!” Christian called to me before I could disappear amidst the crowd that somehow only seemed to grow in size. “Don’t forget to bring some cake!”

And this was how I got here, in the waiting area of the precinct with a packaged, generous piece of chocolate cake.

When Derek walked through that waiting room door what felt like hours later, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. It was almost like I forgot he was at a wedding just a few hours ago, because his well fitted suit took me by surprise. Derek’s dark hair was a short and curly sort of mess when I first met him in Hawaii, but today he had combed and styled it, allowing the longer front to lay neatly to the right side.

He looked a bit tired, with a few buttons on his dress shirt undone. I could see some barely there chest hairs peeking through, yet I forced my eyes to stop their wandering. Instead, I let my eyes meet his.

That hazel green mix. Something that’s more or less imprinted itself on my memory.

He looked confused, which I suspected. He was probably expecting literally anyone else, yet I found his look of bewilderment adorable. He didn’t seem capable of gathering words in this exact moment, so I decided to take the initiative.

“I brought cake.” It was three simple words, yet Christian strongly suggested it would be the first thing Derek would want right after being bailed.

The look on Derek’s face at first, didn’t mirror the excitement I was hoping for. His eyes were locked in on mine, but he stole a glance to the bag I held up. I desperately searched for the next thing to say, and it was almost like Derek’s brain needed to mentally catch up… because when it did, a slow smile spread across his face.

“I- uh, hi thank you! Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting-” he cut himself short as he took a step forward. I couldn’t help but smile myself, for it truly was insane how cute this guy was when he was flustered. “Thank you for the cake though,” he added with his last few steps towards me. I extended my arm, allowing him to take the bag that was so tightly held within my grasp. It was impossible to miss his excitement as he looked inside.

“No worries,” I tried nonchalantly. “Christian told me close to nothing about the wedding or even you being arrested, so I’m flying a bit blind.” I admitted, leading Derek out of the precinct. He was already taking a peak at the slice that was soon to be devoured.

“It’s uh- it’s a long story,” Derek replied. “Essentially, I’m not allowed to enter The Gardens ever again. I sort of got myself into some trouble that resulted in me getting banned there a few years back, and regardless of my stellar disguise, they still caught me today.”

Disguise ? I couldn’t help but glance back at Derek again. We had made it out to the parking lot now, and as he spoke, his words came out in a mumble from the bites of cake he was sneaking in.

Christian had definitely failed to mention that part to me. “So I’m guessing heading back to The Gardens is out of the question?”

Derek gave me a nod. “But don’t worry, I can call myself an Uber. You’ve done more than enough-”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I cut him off, still leading him towards my convertible. “Tell me where you want to go, and we’ll go.”

••

3. Petco Pit Stop

Derek

“When I said chefs choice, I didn’t expect we’d end up here.” I spoke, glancing up at the stores front.

“Well you said chefs choice,” John replied with a grin that terrified me- mainly by how well it managed to put my reigning bouts of anxiety at ease. “We can’t head back to The Gardens… so we’re here.”

“At Petco?” I blurted out more unexpectedly than I had meant to.

“My cats terribly low on food,” He replied with a grin. I gave the pet shop another long stare, before glancing back at John as he spoke. “You seem pretty surprised… a state I never thought I’d see you in. Usually you’re the one doing the surprising.”

“I just-” I stopped myself short, trying to figure out how to reply to that in a way that didn’t sound as ridiculously stupid as I always do. “I don’t mean to offend, it’s just… Alex made it seem like you travel a lot so I didn’t really expect you to have a pet, or I guess time for one.”

Yep, still sounded like I was inserting myself into shit that most definitely didn’t concern me.

John’s smile faltered a bit, which made me feel even more uneasy. You should’ve just kept your trap shut Derek, I thought to myself.

“That’s a pretty accurate observation,” He nodded. “If anyone asks, Herold The Third is a cat that’s been with my family for years. A heirloom if you will. In actuality though, I bought him on a whim when I was out drunk with my ex one night.”

That made my ears perk right on up. I wasn’t sure what I found more intriguing, the fact that he was drunk enough to buy a cat, or the fact that he kept it.

“Woke up the next morning very ah- well, surprised… but there’s a quote I prefer to live by, and that is: you become forever responsible for what you have tamed . So I guess I own a cat now.”

Just those few words got the gears in my head turning. I had heard that quote from somewhere before, but the way John applied it practically coerced a small smile out of me. There was something so oddly genuine about that. About him.

“I make an effort to never leave for more than a few days, and if I must, I guess I’m lucky that Herold likes to travel.”

“You take him with you?” I asked curiously.

“Everywhere I can, at least.” He replied, pushing the car’s gear finally into park. I felt this awfully expensive car jerk forward slightly before it stopped. “I have a spot here when I’m not in New York, so I usually bring him when I visit. Now that I’m in business relations with Ivanov Corp, the spot I have has become a little more… permanent I guess you could say. I still head to New York for my own endeavors, but I frequent here more. Herold seems to like it here.”

That made me smile. “How old is he actually?” I asked as we stepped out of a vehicle I could only hope to see again in this lifetime. It was giving custom everything. “Just gotta know so I get my story straight when people ask.”

That made John’s easy going grin widen.

“Well to keep my story straight, I’ve been telling everyone he’s nine years old, but in reality he’s probably not older than three. I got him when he was still practically a kitten, which as you guessed, was a whole fucking handful.”

I felt a cold breeze run through me as we hurried into the store. This weather the whole week had been bipolar as fuck. “Don’t you have someone who could’ve taken care of him for you?” I asked without really thinking, like I always do. “I mean- I shouldn’t pry-”

“It’s okay.” John chuckled. “I do have someone I can pay to do that for me, but then what would be the purpose of owning Herold? If I could pay someone else, then he’s not really mine . Sure I wanted to off myself when he was going through some things with potty training, and ate everything regardless of whether it’s food or not… but we eventually got through all that.”

I hurried after him as John walked through Petco like he worked there. His larger build allowed him strides that my much shorter frame couldn’t match, it felt like I was taking two steps for every step he took, and I didn’t work out nearly enough for this type of exercise, my god.

“That’s… admirable.” I settled on. Somehow, that made John chuckle again.

“It’s a bit sad to be called admirable for taking care of my own pet, but I understand what you meant by that- and thank you.” When he looked back at me with that smile, I noticed it was lacking a bit.

Great, Derek- you dumb fuck . I was used to bombing through conversations with little filter, but John made me want to filter things. He made me want to filter things before they just came spewing past my lips. He made me want to keep that happy go lucky smile he had, continuously plastered on his face.

Even the slightest bit of a frown didn’t suit this guy.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. I guess some prestige views have rubbed off on me after hanging with Christian for so long.” That got a hearty laugh out of John, which made me feel better about being so ignorantly blunt.

“He’s been giving us rich guys a bad rep for years now,” John spoke as his laughter settled. “Seems like Alex is quickly working those knots out. Thank god too, cause if everyone assumes we’re all assholes then I might actually die alone.”

“No way that’s true,” I shook my head quickly in disbelief. John could’ve secured an exposé in any male model catalogue he wanted. He had the most friendliest personality I’d ever seen for a man of his nature (given, the only real example I had to work with was the batshit crazy Ivanov family… and damn near anyone could be considered an angel in comparison). No way in hell was this guy going to die alone.

John sent me a cheeky grin right before he picked up and swung the largest bag of cat food over his shoulder with ease. No exaggeration at all, the bag was about half my size. He made it look like the thing weighed nothing, whereas I probably would’ve collapsed right here in aisle ten.

“My family likes to think I’m married to my work, which honestly? I probably am. Haven’t had the greatest luck in the dating department.”

A statement as simple as that one, resonated pretty heavily with myself. It was no secret that my previous relationships had been something shy of a dumpster fire. Hell, it was the reason I was even arrested, and almost missed Alex’s wedding. Whatever luck John had, had to be better than whatever I was currently sporting.

He seemed to slow a bit as we made our way towards the registers up front. I was grateful for the literal change in pace because even though he was the one holding pounds of cat food over his shoulder like a goddamn lumberjack, I was the one starting to wheeze from lack of oxygen. My toes were tingling. I was on the verge of seeing stars.

“I- I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. I didn’t mean to dump my shit on you.” He glanced back at me again. I tried to hide the deep breathes I was taking as I finally caught up with him.

“It-” I took a sharp inhale, pulling air in, in an effort to get this damn sentence out. “It’s so cool- no bother, I swear.”

If this was what John thought of as over sharing, I had no idea how he was managing conversations with me.

That was when I remembered why we were even here to begin with: he was just being polite.

••

It has been quite the pause on this story, and I just want to say I’m so sorry about that!

I’ve been undergoing quite a few shifts, one of them being a promotion at my current job.

I may have mentioned it before, but I’m an accountant. I also run my own art business, both of which have been really taking off (something I’m incredibly grateful for, don’t get me wrong) and that’s sucked up quite a bit of my free time, but also my inspiration for a lot else.

Recently, I started reading again.

Really

reading again, the kind of reading that has you binging books in hours.

I’m happy to say that has giving me so much inspiration. For a moment there, I thought I’d completely ran dry.

That I didn’t have any more words left to write in me… but as you can see, that’s clearly not the fucking case.

To apologize for my absence, I have dropped the unedited version of one of my exclusive books here on Wattpad. The book is called

After All This Time

, and it’s fully complete if you want to check out a short read (it is a GirlxGirl book)

I have also pulled NoSpellCheck.com down for maintenance and revamping so anyone apart of that exclusive membership will not be charged while I work on getting more stories uploaded there.

Also also- my Instagram was unfortunately hacked, then disabled by Instagram, so you probably won’t be able to find my account there. I’m on the fence about starting a new one (huge bummer because I really built an entire feed I loved, just to lose it all), but I’ll update you if I do!

For now, feel free to follow my Snapchat. I post a lot on there: monkeypolice101

Thank you to everyone who’s still been rocking with me and my inconsistencies all these years… and for those of you who are new, welcome <3 it’s a community of wonderful readers here, and I couldn’t be more grateful for each and every one of you.

Thank you.

xoxo

4. I Still Don’t Have Your Address

John

The line was short for checking out, which made the whole pet store stop pretty simple. I was grateful to get rang up quickly, but I slowed my strides to keep pace with Derek as we walked back towards my car.

He’d grown more quiet during the last bit of our pet store trip and I wondered if I had said something wrong, or if maybe he just had a surge in depleted energy.

I mean he was, in fact, just arrested. I’m sure today hadn’t been the most relaxing day for him.

“Sorry,” I spoke as I finished tossing the cat food into the back seat behind both Derek and myself, making sure not to whack him in the head with the large bag. “You’re probably exhausted after your whole ordeal today, and didn’t think we’d have to do some shopping. I should’ve read the situation better and-”

“No!” Derek interjected abruptly. “I- I mean, I didn’t mind this at all I promise, and I’ve definitely been arrested before so that really wasn’t anything-” He stopped himself before he could go on.

I couldn’t help but glance at him as I turned the key into the ignition. “Arrested before?” That simple yet complex question fell past my lips with an eyebrow slightly arched. Derek suddenly took interest in the parked cars sitting idle in the pet store’s lot.

“A story for another day,” he replied, refusing to look my way. I could see the faintest color of pink blossoming across his cheeks, and that was when I chose not to pry.

“What’s your home address?” I asked instead, realizing that we were now just sitting in a running car that hadn’t moved from the lot yet.

“Oh I can always call a Lyft from The Gardens. It’s much closer to here than my home,” Derek’s response was quick, finally allowing himself to meet my gaze.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Christian entrusted me with your life, he’d probably make a fuss if I didn’t get you home.”

Derek

I was too late to stop the abrupt cackle that rolled past my lips as John pulled out of the lot and onto a main road.

John looked over at me for a moment too long, and I felt the car accidentally swerve. “I-” I inhaled sharply, getting out the final bits of laughter. “Yeah something tells me he won’t be losing a whole lot of sleep over it. I don’t think that man loses sleep on anyone but his family. Obviously, now that Alex has been made a part of it.”

John gave me a lopsided smile, before eventually nodding. “I’m surprised anyone married him to be honest, he’s been a handful for as long as I’ve known him.”

That made me chuckle again, but in a much more dainty and soft way. Not like the hyena screech I’d let out seconds ago.

“You mentioned you live close to The Gardens, so we’ll head back that way.” John continued as he pulled up to a light. I decided it was easier to succumb to his requests, than argue my way into an Uber or Lyft.

I never got any cool drivers either, it was always either someone who wanted to tell me every detail about their life, or someone who drove like they couldn’t care less about mine. Hell, sometimes it was a mix of the two. Joan would always tell me about all the sweet ladies she’d met during her rides, yet somehow I’d never once gotten a woman driver.

I’m now convinced there’s some sort of sexist blacklist that someone has put my name on, because my blessings are feeling very cockblocked.

“How is everything at work?” John asked, before quickly following it up with “I’m sorry, I’m sure that’s the last thing you want to think about on the weekend.”

“No problem, seriously. Ever since the two newlyweds got together, there has been not a single line drawn between work and my personal life. You aren’t crossing any boundary that Christian Ivanov hasn’t already pushed his forces through with a military grade ram.”

That got a good laugh out of John. “Then let’s set some between us. No talk about work if we aren’t at the office, or in the company of other execs. Sounds refreshing, yeah?” That smile he gave me from the drivers seat was too fucking contagious not to return. It was like some celestial black magic type of shit.

“I’d love that,” I replied. The way he spoke made it sound like he was going to be around longer, but I also remembered he mentioned a flight he had to catch. “Are you planning on visiting the Ivanov office soon?”

John paused a moment before his response. “Yeah I guess I do. I don’t think I’ll be in New York for long. Mavericks is taking flight, Christian and I are officially in bed together- financially of course, Alex has nothing to worry about… at least I think. Honestly, Christian is so much of of a poor management whore, he could very well financially fuck us all.”

I full on laughed at that. Yeah, the man definitely had the means and the insanity case for it. “I’m glad to hear you two reached an agreement for both companies. Alex has been really excited about the work.”

“And here we go talking about work again.” John laughed. “Alright we’re drawing the line now. What activities do you like to do to keep your mind off of work? Besides win hot dog competitions of course.”

This man just had me all fucking smiley and honestly it was starting to get annoying. The glances when he made brief eye contact before bringing attention back to the road… I just didn’t understand. Was this me overreacting to even the slightest bit of attention someone has show me in months? How disgusting.

Settle down you whore, I told myself.

“I uh- well, I’m also a fan of reading. More specifically, comic books and sports illust-” I stopped myself immediately. I know I was not about to admit this man that I owned sports illustrated magazines.

Yeah, no I’d officially lost it tonight. That smirk on John’s lips told me he had heard enough.

“B-Brad and I got into it about whether comic books counted as books. He said they were just pictures, I told him the word book is literally a part of the name. Like it’s a graphic novel . The ignorance of some, I swear.” That unwarranted rant was the product of my own nervousness as I attempting to shift the conversation away from porn or porn adjacent activities.

John just hit me with another contagious laugh. “Yeah for a lawyer, you’d think he’d know that unfounded thought would never hold up in court. Comic books may be more a book than a book is, granting us the benefits of both art and words. Isn’t one picture worth a thousand words? So doesn’t that make a graphic novel one of the most  extensive things you can read?”

I sat in my seat quietly as a blatantly stared. I knew I had just moments to gather myself before he’d look over at me and ask if everything’s okay. I needed to formulate a justified response to something so fucking well put.

The urge to, I don’t know, like tackle him came over me. Of course I wouldn’t actually, we were still on the road just about to pass The Gardens.

“I-” this was about how far I got before pausing. “That’s like, one of the greatest things I’ve heard anyone say ever.  And I listen to the Radio Lab podcast. My mind is being blown constantly.”

John looked over at me again, but this time his gaze held mine longer than the others. So long, he managed to accidentally swerve again. Luckily the roads were empty this evening, but I noticed the car still slowed.

“I’m glad you appreciated my two cents on it,” he told me, but there was just something different about the way he said that. The tone had more of a roughness and I suddenly had the urge to stick my head out the window like a fucking dog.

When did this car get this hot? Did we climb in altitude? I was definitely experiencing palpitations- actually, do I even really know what palpitations are? Where’s google when you need her…

“We’re uh- we’re stopped,” I choked to get out like the true idiot I was.

That smirk playing on his lips just revealed more ridiculously perfect teeth that could’ve been seen from miles away. “I still don’t have your address.”

••

It’s been forever, and I wish I had a better excuse than just the fact that I’ve been busy working 😭 but I promise I haven’t forgotten about this story or any of you. My boss went on maternity leave during a shift in our finance department, then just got back a few weeks ago so I’ve been taking on more duties than I expected I would since Oct. (yes indeed, ya girl got a raise too).

I’ve tried to not put stress on writing over the years in hopes I can keep the passion I have for it. Therefore, this has made my writing pretty sporadic.

I’ve still been writing, but the pressures to read and edit take a lot out of me… that being said, you guys are probs going to see a lot less edited stuff. Kinda like my older books, but with sturdier dialogue and plot.

Hopefully you all don’t mind, I know you’re mostly here for the story… but how I convey and portray that story can sometimes get to me, pushing me away from writing rather than drawing me closer to it. Since this is also a form of therapy for myself, I have to care for the relationship I have with it.

Thank you to all of you who have ridden out my journey with writing from 2014-now. I can’t even begin to explain how incredible it’s been, and how excited I am for future projects here on Wattpad.

I love you all. xoxo

5. My Cakeee

Quadruple update because y’all deserve this… and the Trident of Poseidon tbh for all my absences.

As always, I love y’all infinity times infinity. or double infinity. or whatever the live laugh love yt ppl say.

Enjoy, my lovelies!

xoxo

Derek

Oh Derek. Please, you fucking idiot, say something.

“R-Right.” I finally nodded in his direction. “I live in the apartments off Sax, down this road here.”

Having the opportunity to rip my gaze away from John’s and set them back onto the road, felt like someone gave me a hit from their oxygen tank… after damn near drowning in the Indian Ocean. I was a happy to focus on something other than John’s continued side glances.

My brain was in shambles as to whether it was overreacting to some very normal conversational glances, but what I did know was that John really needed to focus on the road more.

Luckily we pulled up to the front of my complex just minutes later. I couldn’t wait to start gathering my things and launch myself out of this car (respectfully, of course) but John stopped me before I could dish out a quick thank you and be on my way. 

“Would you like me to walk you up?” He asked, placing his hand briefly on my shoulder. I turned back to him with a smile. On the surface, I hoped this smile looked genuine, because inside I wanted to shrink myself into oblivion.

“That’s really not necessary, but thank you for such a friendly offer,” I replied. “Really, you’ve honestly done so much more than you needed to tonight, so thank you.”

The smile that spread across his face, forced an even more genuine one from myself. I quickly slid out of that passenger seat, but as I closed the door, the side window rolled down.

This guy was fucking relentless.

“I’ll be in New York for a few days, but when I get back here, there is something you could do for me that could make us a little more even. I mean I did liberate you from the dungeon those government aides forced you into.”

Well that was one way to put bailing me out of jail.

A chuckle escaped my lips, and before I could stop myself, I gave him a nod.

It was as if whatever urgent energy he had on his face, sort of just washed away. He relaxed in his seat with that killer smile still threatening my very existence.

“Perfect. I’ll see you soon, Derek,” was all he said before he shifted gears, and the sports car pulled away. He didn’t even tell me what the thing was, but that was all the go-ahead I needed, to quickly get my ass into my apartment building. I was so lost thinking about the last few moments of that car ride, I didn’t notice not the one, not two, but about five wet floor signs in my apartment’s lobby.

And what happened next, was something out of a damn movie.

First I felt my right foot give out from beneath me. Then, in an effort to stop myself from face planting, I landed on my left foot. Unfortunately, that foot didn’t give a fuck about my well being either and completely let itself go. This forced all my belongings (including the cake) to go flying from my arms.

Luckily my face didn’t ram right into the tiled floor, but I felt the impact on my whole upper body.

Tears started to well in my eyes, as that familiar stinging sensation overtook my senses. It wasn’t from pain though, oh no . It was the torturous image of seeing my piece of cake splattered across the fleshly mopped floor.

“Are you okay?” I women asked from somewhere in the lobby, but I didn’t even bother to look in her direction. I was too busy mourning my deliciously unhealthy dinner.

There was a hand at my side moments later, helping me up. I hadn’t even noticed I was still frozen in place on the floor. “My cakeee,” I whined out in protest. That’s when I took note of the lady besides me.

She was much younger than I expected, and in a managers uniform. A gorgeous shade of pale pink stretched thin across her plump lips as she offered me an uneasy smile.

“I see that, yeah. I tried calling out from the front desk but you were moving so quickly, the wet floors stopped you first.” She joked, helping me pick up some of my belongings that had fallen from my bag.

Her eyes hovered over the precinct label on the bag, but she didn’t say anything as she handed it back to me.

“I’m sorry,” I started, waving my hands loosely towards the delicate chocolate icing that had made one with the marble tiles. “If you show me to a mop, I can clean this up.”

The pain of losing the cake slice hadn’t subsided, rather it was the pain of a pretty lady seeing me fall, that hurt even harder.

I dusted myself off, attempting to look less disheveled and even less like an idiot who’d ignore an entire row of wet signs.

“Can I help you to your apartment?” She asked. I quickly shook my head no.

“That’s okay, I should be able to handle it from here.” I smiled down at her. She pushed a few long straight strands of her reddish brown hair back, giving me a better view of her brown doe like eyes. 

“This is the only floor with tile, so you’ve got some good odds up there… but I’m heading up anyways to check on maintenance, so I don’t mind.” She replied, which made my smile widen.

I gave her a quick nod, letting her lead the way towards the elevators.

John

I had started to pull out of Derek’s complex, but that was when I remembered I forgot to make sure he’d even got in okay. My car made a tight turn in the parking lot, pulling back around to the front, and as the glass doors of Derek’s entrance came into view, I caught just the last few moments where he completely fell in the lobby.

First I was in shock, watching almost in slow motion as his bag of personals and cake were tossed in the air. When that cake box opened and the piece went flying, I almost felt the pain Derek must’ve, and I didn’t even like cake.

My seatbelt was off before I could throw my car into park, but more motion through the exposed doors made me pause.

There was someone at his side now, helping him up.

That was quick , I thought.

I couldn’t really see much of her face from the framework of the doors, but the smile this woman gave him was large and friendly. Her hand lingered on his arm a moment as they maybe exchanged conversation… Both their backs were turned to me, so I really have no idea what was going on.

She helped him gather his items quickly, shuffling over to what looked like his phone which slid across the floor away from him. That was when another few words were exchanged, to which Derek offered her a smile. I felt like I could see it plain as day… then he turned further away from me, making it almost impossible to see them as they both moved past the lobby to the elevators.

I pulled my car out of sight before either of them could turn around in the elevators, and when I was completely out of the parking lot, I strapped my seatbelt back on.

She must have been his girlfriend or something, I thought as my car veered back onto the empty roads.

••

6. Meet Herold, The Cat That Wouldn’t Go

John

The red-eye I had switched my flight to, was soon to be listed as one of the worst possible decisions I have ever made. Ever.

Yet somehow, bailing Derek out of jail made it kinda worth it. Worth the slight sensitivity in my eyes from lack of sleep, and the irritated ticketing clerk that gave me a cold welcome when I arrived late to the gate.

Yeah… somehow that was all still worth it, and this proclamation was going on the list as some of the craziest shit I have ever admitted to myself.

It just genuinely felt good to talk to Derek.

Besides Alex, there weren’t many people I’ve met in the last few years that didn’t treat me differently. I kept ties with Christian for so long because in addition to him coming from a direct line of powerful businesses, he also never hesitated to tell me when my previous partners were cheating, or my old accountant was money laundering.

Sure, my auditors would’ve caught that money laundering eventually… Christian just had the balls to tell me and everyone in the boardroom, in the middle of a company meeting.

It was that level of honestly that felt like a breath of fresh air amidst the the congestion of kiss-asses.

Derek was less brazen with his honest approach than Christian was, but it felt good. Our conversations felt good. I knew I had thrown him off his game last night, but he still managed to make conversation. Keep conversation. He just had this personality that felt goofy and fun, and I liked that.

It had been a while since I pursued anything goofy or fun.

Not that I was going to

pursue

him , I reminded myself. That was when I thought back to the way the lady in the lobby had smiled at him, and I quickly tried to shake the memory.

The thirty alarms I had set the night before, was my first boss fight of the morning.

Getting Herold into his carrier, was my second.

“Herold, please.” I whined to this stubborn nightmare of an animal as he hissed at me from under the couch. It wasn’t even the carrier that bothered Herold, it was the fact that I was trying to get him in it at four in the morning. “Please!” I sighed, attempting another swipe to get him out from under there. He just swatted my hand away.

The watch on my wrist was reminding me that I really really didn’t have the time for this.

“Alright. That’s how you want to play things Herold? So be it. You’re staying.” I decided, pushing myself from the ground to my feet. I took a few steps away, watching as Herold slowly creeped out from under the couch.

When I made a move to grab him again, he sprinted out of the living room with unnatural speed, and I sighed one final sigh.

This was how I managed to find myself on this plane alone, heading back to New York. My eyes could barely keep themselves open, regardless of the multiple coffees the flight attendant had brought me.

The way she lingered around, and made extra stops at my row, was a dead giveaway that she wanted me to ask for her number. Unfortunately, nothing turned my off more than someone who couldn’t read the room. Or rather, another person.

She insisted on asking me things like my favorite hobbies and food, when I could barely hold my own head up.

To drown out most of the exhaustion, I thought about the conversation I had with Brad while on the way to the airport…

It took six calls to get ahold of him this morning.

“ What ?“ He mumbled into the line.

“Who the fuck is that?” I heard someone say from somewhere behind him. It sounded like Joan, but with sleep deprivation heavy in both their voices, I couldn’t tell.

“It’s John.” Brad sighed the heaviest of sighs. “What do you want John?”

“I need Derek’s number,” I replied, unsure of how to react. I couldn’t remember the last time Brad sounded so informal, yet then again I also couldn’t recall the last time I phoned him so early in the morning.

There was the longest pause on the other end. One so long, I thought maybe he’d fallen asleep again.

“Let me get this straight-” that harsher voice cut through like a true Ivanov. “You woke me up at five o’clock in the damn morning, to get Derek’s number ?”

His tone said everything: infuriated, bewildered, irritated, all topped with a slight tease.

I had to check the caller ID again to make sure I had rung the right brother.

Yep. This was supposedly Brad.

“Listen I am zooming down this highway right now trying to catch a flight to New York so while I’d love to give you a detailed explanation on why I need Derek, short answer is my cat will die otherwise.” I got that out in one breath, as I weaved between lanes.

There was another pause before I heard a muffled sigh. “I’ll text you it.” Brad grumbled, before hanging up.

If I wasn’t about to miss my flight, I would’ve gave him crap for his less than pleasant goodbye.

Right now I was too focused on not hitting the car in front of me, that I was currently riding the ass of.

I hadn’t managed to send the text until I got on the flight, and all I could do was hope that Derek saw it before Herold caused a scene.

Derek

I couldn’t remember what had woken me up, but the pain from that horrible fall last night was what kept me up.

My arms and chest had kept my head from hitting the concrete, but now I had this horrid pain across my chest like someone ran it over with their car.

“ God .“ I groaned out in pure agony. This didn’t feel right at all. My arms tried to reach up and adjust my pillows, but the pain caused me to retract them almost immediately.

I was just about getting ready to commit to death itself, when I felt my phone vibrate from somewhere at my side. I managed to bring the the lit up screen to my line of sight.

Hey, this is John.

That alone sprung me up to sitting position as I stared at my phone in confusion.

I’m about to take off so hopefully this sends, but I need to cash in on that return favor a little sooner… Could you take care of Herold for a bit? I forgot to switch his bowl out for his dispenser and I’ll be in New York the next few days. Just sent you the location for my home, and the unlocking code to get in.

I seriously appreciate this

John

I smiled at the way he signed off on his text, but that smile faltered a bit when I finally processed his request.

The location ping had come through, yet the time stamp was at 5am which was over two hours ago. The current time sent me into panic.

“Shit!” I groaned, pushing myself out of bed. The discarded pieces of clothes on my hard wood floors, almost sent me into my dresser when I got up too soon.

I reached for my robe that was hanging behind my master bathroom door, cursing all the profanities as the pain continued to spread. The only thing that overtook the aching, was a glance of my messy state in the bathroom mirror.

“Lovely,” I practically whispered to my reflection. “Let’s go feed this cat I guess.” Those were the only words I exchanged with myself before forcing this sim character of a body into motion.

••

7. Welcome, Guest

Derek

By the time I made it to the home address entered in my GPS, I was beyond late for work.

If the truth could set me free, than you all should know I rerouted that GPS about three times out of pure disbelief by the neighborhood it had brought me to.

This town was about ten minutes away from the city, and absolutely not what I was expecting.

I pulled my car into the long driveway of a quaint stone home that came into view. Beautiful, old multicolored stones were holding two stories just above some of the trees.

“This is really it then,” I said aloud, peering through my bird shit covered windshield, at the tall evergreen trees that hid most of the home. If it wasn’t for the home’s mailbox at the edge of the driveway, you’d never guess a house was perched just a few hundred feet down.

The driveway opened up to the front of the home. There were no cars parked out front, and the garage was closed. I put my car into park, and just sort of sat there moment.

It wasn’t like I had any time to waste, but I let the image of this home soak into my memory. It just looked… beautiful. Like in a fairytale cottage sort of way.

It was the violent vibration of my phone alarm, that brought me back to the present. I was supposed to be clocking in right now. “Ah shit .” I sighed, unbuckling the seat and stepping out. The weather was better today, yet it felt like the trees blocked off most of the wind as I walked up the steps of the entrance. All I felt were the rays of the sun that broke through.

I noticed a tablet looking pad located right by what I thought was the door. It was odd, because there was no handle on the outside- just a flat slab of wood. I approached the tablet looking thing, but before I could touch it, the screen lit up.

“Hello.” An automated voice spoke through the screen. “Please enter the homes code, then place your thumb finger on the scanner.”

I stared at the screen a moment, as a number pad appeared. 1012 I recalled from John’s text, before slowing keying that in.

At first I couldn’t figure out where the fingerprint scanner was located, until another piece slid out from the first screen like some spy kids tech. It felt cold as my thumb gently yet firmly rested against it.

What happened next made me yank my finger back immediately.

“Ow!” I hissed, flipping my thumb up towards me. The scanner had pricked the middle of my finger.

“Welcome, Guest.” The screen spoke again, before the front door slowly opened. My feet were frozen in place, unsure of what to do as I started to suck the droplets of blood leaking from my finger tip.

From the opened entry, all I could see was a long hallway with an beautiful clay sculpture perched atop a table.

It was the door slowly starting to close again, that got me going, as I quickly hustled inside. I was not trying to get assaulted by a number pad again.

The inside of his home smelt wonderful.

I couldn’t explain it, but my sense of smell was the first thing to be seduced.

Then it was my sight.

As I walked down John’s dimly lit corridor and turned the corner, the interior almost made my jaw drop. It was a very open floor concept, with a large kitchen to my right, and a living room to my left. All of the floors were wooden, which reminded me to kick off my shoes.

John just didn’t seem like a shoes on in the home type of guy. And if he was, he had one spectacular cleaning lady.

These floors could be ate off of.

I stared in awe at the rich colored wood, and large healthy plants that occupied most of his home. I just- I had so many questions.

Questions I was reminded would go unanswered by the fluffy white cat that was currently stalking towards me. “You must be Herold.” I smiled, gently lowering myself to his level. My arm extended, offering Herold some fingers to sniff.

And he did. At first.

Then he full on bit me.

“Ow!” I pulled my arm back towards me, pissed first at this cat for biting me, and second at myself for extending the same hand that had gotten pricked by the damn door thingy. “What the hell, Herold?”

This cat, in all 17,000 pounds of fur, stared at me. Just fucking stared. I would’ve stared back if I didn’t have to get to work twenty minutes ago. “Fuck it, let me just find you some food so I can get the hell out of here.”

My body was now in pain in many places. This made the search for cat food, one strenuous mission. I checked the pantry and under the sink, but none of those had anything. I even started checking the cupboards, before landing on a can of tuna.

Herold continued to stare at me from the same spot at the entry of the hallway. He hadn’t budged a bit.

“I mean, you can eat this right?” I held the can up to Herold, who stared at it in confusion. “Of course you’ve never seen this before.” I more or less whispered to myself. This man probably fed this cat cast iron skillet seared salmon.

I bent the top opener back to hear the pop, then peeled the lid off completely. There was some excess water that I poured into the sink, before slowly approaching Herold with my peace offering.

“I know you’re hungry, and judging by your face this isn’t usually what you’re used to… but we got to improvise here buddy, otherwise you’re going to starve to death. That means no more innocent people to assault. Yeah, sounds boring doesn’t it? “ I whispered that last part as I set the can of tuna down in front of him.

Herold approached it as he did my hand, sniffing around the edges. I half expected him to launch a sneak attack, the same attack my poor fingers endured, but he didn’t. Instead he stuck his little tongue forward and gave it a lick. Then another.

“See. It’s not so ba-” that’s when Herold went in. He placed his paws on both side of the can, holding it in place as he devoured the contents. I couldnt help but chuckle as I started to watch him eat, but his eyes shot up at me, and my mouth snapped shut.

That was when my ten

minutes past clock in alarm went off on my phone.

“Shit!” I sighed, rushing back towards the hallway entrance but making sure to step around Herold. My shoes slid on with ease, as I ran towards the front door that thankfully had a handle on this side. “Alright, you enjoy that food and I’ll see you after work Herold!”

I didn’t give the feline a chance to respond, or charge after in protest, as I dashed out of there.

Joan was going to absolutely kill me for being this late.

John

When I touched down in New York, the first thing I did was check my phone. Well, first I got the hell off that plane before the flight attendant found me. I had given her the wrong number as a last ditch effort to get some peace, and now that we had signal again, she had every opportunity to check it.

After I was positive I was out of the clutches of that flight attendant, which took much longer than anticipated, I whipped my phone out in hopes I’d see a message from Derek. Instead, there wasn’t anything. It said the messages had delivered, but Derek hadn’t texted back.

“He had to be awake by now, right?” I asked myself aloud. The time on my phone said it would be around eight there.

I was about to give him a call, when a call suddenly came through from the office.

“Hello, Sir. Welcome back. Your transportation is waiting out front.”

••

8. You Got A Cat?

Derek

“And where the hell were you?” Joan asked as soon as I entered the first work floor.

“Feeding a cat.” I answered, unable to give a more descriptive answer. Honestly, I just wanted to clock in and get this day the hell over with.

“You got a cat?” Barron, one of our team leads asked as he walked out of our printing room. He was wearing his lucky blue button down, reminding me of the promotional talk that had made its way through the floor. Today was review day with our floor managers, and Barron was trying to climb that corporate ladder.

Or rather, corporate staircase. He was trying to get bumped up to the fourth floor’s marketing management team.

In my opinion, Barron had a better chance of getting laid by a mermaid, but it was his determination that truly warmed my heart.

“No, I didn’t get a cat,” was all I replied with. I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t care to inform this group of rascals about neither my arrest nor my run in with John.

“Who’s cat? Also, John called this morning trying to get your number. Also also, how was jail?” Joan got all that out in one breath, and just like that, the whole floor learnt of my weekend escapades.

“You were in jail?” Barron asked immediately, dropping everything he had just printed half assedly on my desk.

“It wasn’t that serious,” I insisted, but the eyes from onlookers let me know they weren’t the least bit convinced. Luckily, my cell phone ringing saved me from saying anything else. “Sorry I’ve got to get this,” I didn’t even look at the caller ID. “Can you punch me in Joan? Thank you!”

Joan just gave me one effortless eye roll, as I all but ran out into the main lobby.

“Hello?” I asked into the line, making sure I was out of ear shot from these gossip greedy fiends.

“Derek, I’m glad I got ahold of you,” John’s voice spoke into the line.

I wasn’t sure what made me straighten my tie like he was standing right across from me, but I did it anyways.

“Did you get my messages this morning?” He asked. “I hadn’t heard anything back, and wanted to make sure Herold was doing alright.”

“O-Oh.” I sorta choked up, trying to catch the last bit of air I had lost on the brisk walk out here. “Yes I’m sorry I completely forgot to text you- I was late to getting up this morning so my brains been scattered-” my voice cut itself off immediately, forcing me to work out the sentences in my head first before blurting them out. “I did feed Herold though yes, he’s doing well. I’ll head back to check on him after work again today, and before work tomorrow.”

There was a soft chuckle on the line as I heard some papers rustling. “You are literally perfection, thank you. I’ll be back by this Thursday, just getting things together at my office right now.”

There were voices in the background, but those were drowned out by the ringing of an office phone.

“I’ll give you a call later. Seriously, thanks for doing this-” John paused a second before saying something else away from the phone. It was too muffled for me to hear. “I’ll call you back okay? Thank you!” That was the last thing I heard from him before the line went dead.

“O-Okay.” I hesitantly mumbled to myself. John sounded busier than Alex had these past few weeks, and Alex was technically planning someone else’s wedding.

It made me wonder what was on John’s plate… and I couldn’t tell what got me more upset.

The fact that our phone call was so abrupt, or the fact that I now couldn’t use it as an excuse to avoid telling my jail cell stories.

John

“And if we’re to proceed to what Dickens & Rogers have proposed, that’ll be an increase in our stocks. I put together this spread for you on our YTD projections.” My advisor Donald share dropped a few files to my computer, and I expanded what he had pulled up on his tablet.

“This is some seriously great work, Don. I mean it. I know I’ve put you through hell with this Ivanov deal.”

“Technically sir, the Ivanov’s have put us through hell with this Ivanov deal.” Don reminded me. “Nevertheless, his new assistant seems more than capable. I put in document requests with his team this morning and I got them within the hour. That’s like years earlier than Ivanov’s standard processing time.”

That got a laugh out of me. Don would never forget the previous dealings we’ve had with Ivanov Corp, and it was difficult to ask him to. Christian really did treat him like shit in the past.

“Don’t put anymore requests in for this week actually. Christian and Alex are on their honeymoon.” I replied, pulling up the email Christian had sent me this morning, to forward to Don.

All it said was:

Don’t ask me for shit. I’ll see you next Monday.

Simple, and to the point. One hundred percent Christian.

“Honeymoon?” Don asked in surprise. “Who’s the unlucky lady?”

“Alexander Hamilton.” I replied.

“The founding father?” Don’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, deepening his wrinkles and exposing just an inkling of his age.

“His assistant.” I clarified.

“That young man’s name is Alexander Hamilton? What an interesting name.” Don was already searching previous emails to confirm, like I was trying to pull a fast one on him. The little “hmm” He made when he found what he was looking for, made me smile.

“Christian really has surrounded himself with quite the bunch of new friends.” My thumb rubbed against my phones volume keys as I thought about the phone call I had with Derek hours ago.

It felt like I had just called him, but my perception of time today had been screwed from the jump. Now it was approaching almost seven in the evening, and Don had insisted we get through financials before calling it a day.

I thought about the time difference between here and there. Derek would be getting off soon, and heading over to check on Herold.

I thought about the state of my home. Did I clean before I left? It was hard to remember everything I needed to do when I was back in town, and having a random person clean my home could never sit right with me.

Brad was the only person I trusted to check in on my longer trips, and that was because he didn’t like having house staff either. In a lot of ways, Brad and I were very similar.

We joked about being in an abusive relationship with Christian all the time.

“Should we call it a day then, sir?” Don asked me, but he was already packing up his files. He always knew when I was checked out, even before I did, and one thing about Don was that he refused to waste his breath on deaf ears.

“Yes, thanks Don. For all the help, too. You always keep things sane around here, and I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Don smiled, letting me know he appreciated the acknowledgments… but then that smile faltered slightly, and I felt my own eyebrows furrow.

“Have you heard from Pierre?” A question so simple, yet so loaded. Maybe that was why he waited all day to ask it.

“You know I have him blocked on just about everything. If he wants to get a message to me, he can go through my assistant.” I replied, as I started to gather my own things. Don and I were used to leaving the office space together and I didn’t want to keep him.

“Well you’re going to need to get yourself a new assistant cause your last one left their resignation letter on my desk this morning.” Don continued. I now understood why he waited till the end of the day to tell me this.

“What?” I asked, pausing everything I was doing. “And why would he do that? I was literally paying him a fortune to do close to nothing!”

“Well, yes, sir. While some people would jump at the opportunity to handle minimal personal affairs for that kind of pay… a person with his qualifications doing nothing more than handling a nasty breakup between you and your ex… Yeah sir I think he might’ve took some offense to that.”

The sigh I let out was just pure exhaustion at this point. It also told Don that he was absolutely right.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take care of the hiring process with HR in the morning.”

“And what should I tell Pierre? No way in hell I’m taking his stupid calls.” Don spoke as he held the office door open for me.

“We’ve got all our business severance plans in play already. If he wants to talk to me, tell him to get a court order.”

••

9. Shit, Can Cats Not Have Tuna?

I’m officially back baby ;)

Long ass A/N at the end of this chapter, but it includes changes I’ve made to the story, so please read!

xoxo

Derek

This cat was unfortunately going to be the death of me.

“Please Herold, please let go.” I whined, trying to shake off the kitty’s death grip it currently had on my dress pants… with its teeth .

We were in an all out war over the second can of tuna I refused to feed him.

“I’m not even supposed to be giving you this to begin with!” I tried to level with the feline. “Your father will probably kill me if he found out.” The look Herold was giving me told me he didn’t believe a word of what I just said. “Okay so maybe he won’t kill me, but he’ll surely be disappointed, and hell, that might be worse.”

Herold’s hold on my pants refused to let up even after all my begging and leg shaking, and maybe it was the exhaustion seeping in from the heavy work day, but I soon accepted defeat.

Once that aluminum can hit the wooden floors, Herold detached himself in an instant. All his attention went to the food in front of him, and honestly? I understood.

I had been a bit late to check on him tonight, because everyone had to stay late for some mandatory overtime. Was this unheard of at Ivanov Corp? No, not really. We did however, for the first time ever, get the run down of why we had to stay late. Looks like Alex really was making some changes for the better. It’s like the office staff now had an inside man.

By the time I made it back to feed Herold, it was going on six in the evening. I had meant to just feed him and leave, but something else convinced me to stay. I’d like to think it was the softer more kinder meows in protest once I tried to slip my shoes back on, but from the corner of my eye, I caught sight of something else.

Amidst John’s glorious home, was a large bookshelf tucked into the corner of his living room. I hadn’t thought much of it considering the first few rows looked like encyclopedias.

Something I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.

How often are those things updated anyways? And do you just keep buying new sets every few years if they do get updated? What’s the scoop on the encyclopedia business, cause it kinda sounds like a scam…

But there was something else there. As I moved closer, I realized that the fun assortment of colors was just what I predicted.

The spines of comics.

“ No way .“ I whispered to myself as my fingers grazed across what looked like every issue of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics. Below them were just more and more… comics?

I was so enthralled by John’s collection, I barely noticed Herold rubbing up against my legs. Instead, I slumped to the ground cross legged with a comic book in one hand, while the other rubbed the kitty’s now full stomach. Hesitantly first of course, until I felt Herold relax against me more.

And this was where I unintentionally stayed for hours. I hadn’t realized it was getting so late until my phone started buzzing hard in my pocket. I picked up, not bothering to pull my eyes away from the page I was on as I answered “this is Derek.”

“Hey Derek, it’s John.”

That made me drop the comic book entirely, having it close on itself. I let out an aggravated “ shit “ when I realized I forgot what page I was on.

“Sorry, did I catch you at a bad time? I tried to wait a bit with the time difference, so you’d for sure be off work… are

you still working?“

Between my brain and my body, everything was starting to fail. “No that’s okay! I’m not- I mean, I’m done with work. I’m actually just checking on Herold now.” Why couldn’t I sound like a normal human around this man? And also, what time was it?

“That’s great! Thanks so much again. I know he can be a handful, so hopefully he’s been treating you like he was raised right.”

I glanced down at the wounds on my fingers, and the teeth holes in my pants. “One could say that.” I replied, unintentionally letting a bit of sass run through that statement. It made John laugh, which in return made me smile. Maybe the battle scars were a bit worth it in the end.

“Please invoice me for any damage he may have caused. I’ll try to wrap things up sooner and head back Wednesday night,” John insisted.

“It’s okay!” I quickly rushed out. The last thing I wanted John to do was have to work more than he already was. “I mean he’s been… something , but with a weird twist of events, we’re kinda bonding.”

And we were. Herold hadn’t left my side as I slowly read through John’s comic book collection, instead opting in for the tummy rubs and nibbling on my fingers here and there. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as when he intentionally bit down, so I allowed it.

“I’m happy to hear it. He can get irritated whenever his feeding schedule goes even slightly off course, so while I know these calls may seem a bit excessive, it’s more for your safety than his.”

That got a good laugh out of me. If only John had seen the last few hours unfold.

“I completely get it,” I assured him. With every word that left John’s lips, I could swear he was sounding more and more exhausted. I didn’t want to keep him if he was just calling to check in. “I’ll be leaving here soon, I just got here.” I lied, not willing to admit that I had just spent hours in John’s home reading his comics. “With Herolds food, I um… I was having some difficulty finding it. I sorta had to give him tuna from a can.”

Whyyyyy couldn’t I ever sound normal around this fucking man.

The chuckle John let slip past his lips, gave me hope. He didn’t sound as disappointed as I thought he’d be.

“He must’ve given you hell, I’m so sorry. Tuna is his Kryptonite and should be an ultimate last resort because he has waged wars over another can. Brought kingdoms to their knees, et cetera.” John explained. A little too late , I thought as Herold tucked my hand between his paws to hold it at his belly. “That’s my fault though, my apologies. I set the new bag of dry food in the garage and forgot to bring it in.”

I let out a sigh of relief, grateful that the bag of food even existed, even though I just saw this man haul one through the pet store yesterday.

I did not have the hands to fight this cat on the regular, I thought to myself. Or a first aid kit at home.

“No problem!” I replied. “I’m happy to hear he can have tuna, I really should’ve checked with you first before just giving it to him.”

That sentence made a lot more sense in my head, cause when John followed it up with “what do you mean? Shit , can cats not have tuna?” I realized how incredibly dumb I sounded.

“No no no, sorry I just meant-” I stopped myself short, unsure of how to put this in a way that didn’t make me seem any more stupid than I was coming across as. “I just thought he might be used to something more… fancy.” I settled on, not mentioning the pan seared salmon thought I had earlier.

“ Fancy , huh?“ John chuckled. “Christian really must be setting some real ridiculous standards cause I’m baffled by how boujee a lifestyle you think I live.”

I glanced around John’s home which was currently calling me broke in every language known both to mankind and extraterrestrials. Who was gunna tell him?

“To be fair though, with Herolds attitude, you’d think I stole him from Buckingham Palace. In his mind, I think he thinks I did.”

That got an unexpected laugh out of me, because such truer words had never been uttered. Herold acted like humans were mere servants that existed to serve. He wouldn’t spit on me if I was on fire, I was sure of it.

“Yeah I think it’s safe to say Herold thinks he lives that boujee lifestyle.” I countered once my laughter settled.

“And I must thank you once more for sticking it out with him these next few days. If you need anything, just let me know. I’m always- well I’m usually… okay well I’ll try to be just a phone call away. Work hours can get a little tricky.”

The smile from my laughter decided to stay a little longer because of John’s words. He was just so- fuck, I don’t know, genuine ? Or maybe I just wasn’t used to people thanking me this much.

“No problem at all. And well-” I stopped myself a moment, looking back down at the three more X-men comics I already pulled from the bookshelf, and neatly placed on one of John’s soft rugs. “I was uh, I um, well I noticed you had some comics in your living room bookshelf- incredible collection by the way .” An entirely different part of my brain inserted that last tid-bit, before I went back to struggling. “W-Would you, um… would you mind if I borrowed a few? Just for the night! I’ll take great care of them obviously, and bring them back to their home base first thing in the morni-”

“Borrow whatever you’d like,” John inserted with a chuckle almost immediately, cutting off what surely would’ve been a mess of a rant on my part. “I mean that. Hell, you can even borrow the cat. Something tells me you probably won’t, but I just wanted you to know he’s not off limits. If you can get him in that carrier, he’s all yours.”

The small smile on my face widened as I let out another unexpected laugh.

••

A/N:

Well hello there lovelies!

If you’ve been keeping up with this story, you know it’s been some time since I’ve last updated

And if you’ve been keeping up with me, you know that’s because I’ve been writing a new book for the last year through the Creators Program (which is now complete- yay!)

Eyes Like Sky (boyxboy) - check it out in my published works

***it’s currently free!!

It’s the sweetest, most romantic yet heartbreaking story I’ve ever written, and I recommend you go give it a little once over to see if you might like it

I’m still in absolute aw of how incredibly supportive readers are on here, but my readers in particular- yall gon do it for me every single mfucking timee. Thank you so much for the support!

But now that we’ve closed the chapter on that book, it’s time to pick up something a little more fun again yeah?

That being said, I’m ready to jump in with this one, but there’s some tweaks I’ve made that you should know about before we continue our little rendezvous

For starters,

this book will now be centered around a BDSM relationship…

I’m ready to see the reactions with that one lol ;)

I will always still include a warning before any of the steamy scenes for anyone who isn’t comfortable reading that, and if you’ve read my other work, you know how much I value clear consent in my works

This means this relationship will never stretch past what both parties are comfortable doing, and I’ll never ask my readers to put themselves in an uncomfortable position entertaining that dogshit take that consent is a gray area.. like in Fifty Shades Of… you know what, I won’t even start with E.L. James and her horrible ass writing

This story will revolve around two men learning about that other side of their sexual urges/preferences, through a shit ton of communication and trust.

And humor.

Cause it’s Derek.

If that in particular isn’t your cup of tea I completely understand, I just want my readers to know that this is a safe space. I could never, ever, write stories/dark romance like that. I don’t knock the girlies who like to read it, but that subject matter needs to be treated with the care it demands, and in my opinion, too many writers miss the mark with it

So I’m blaming the writers, idgaf

Anywhooo, enjoy the edited chapters if you need to catch up, and the first new chapter

I love you all so very much

Take care of yourselves, and lets have some fun :)

xoxo

10. Tomorrow? I Thought You Were Leaving Friday?

Unedited, but a double upload cause I love y’all-

will edit in the next 24 hours, scouts honor

Love you

xoxo

John

My fingers moved to the bridge of my nose, massaging the area in hopes of relief as both I and Don sat in on yet another three hour meeting.

A message popped up from Don in our own private chat, separate from us and the boards thank god.

Sit up. If you slouch any further you’ll be under the fucking table

The presenter from our board had continuously looked to me as he presented, using me as his beacon of light and forcing me to pay somewhat attention, but I took the opportunity while he fiddled with his clicker, to message Don back.

I’m sitting in yet another three hour meeting about delegation training amongst our board. You’re lucky I haven’t done anything drastic yet,

like leave

I glanced up from my laptop screen to make eye contact with the presenter again. He was an older man, maybe early fifties, yet he carried himself like a novice to the field of work. Project Management must’ve been a new to him, I thought.

I broke eye contact first, caring less and less about my engagement as I felt this meeting finally nearing its end. Will, our less than engaged presenter, was using follow up words such as regrouping , and getting something else on the calendar which meant we had about ten more minutes tops.

It was Wednesday afternoon, our first three hour meeting had started at 6:30 am, and this one started immediately after that one, with an expected end time of 12:30pm… yet here we all were, fifteen minutes past that and still going at it.

By the time our presenter got to his last slide, I needed a drink.

“You took good notes, right?”

Don sighed, leaning against my office desk as he looked through some files on his tablet. I was zooming through emails on my end, trying to clear out what was unread and reply to things on hold. “Please tell me you paid some attention.”

I briefly glanced away from the screen to look up at Don, noticing more of his grey stubble coming in that he usually kept clean shaven. “I mean, I’m pretty confident about the first two hours, but that last one stripped me of my will to live.”

Don glanced down at me, sporting a disappointing frown that didn’t look entirely too believable. I saw a tinge of humor in his eyes, and knew instantly that he was suffering through that just as much as I was.

“William sure can drag a meeting out,” he nodded slightly. “Don’t worry, I condensed most of that discombobulated mess of a presentation into key notes, and I’ll email those over shortly.” His positive words made me breathe a sigh of relief, because as much as I absolutely loved my entire team here at Mavericks, and all the work they put in for us, I didn’t want to hear William explain anything else to me ever again.

“It was an experience, I’ll tell you that much,” I agreed. “Are we all set for my flight tomorrow then? I can’t wait to get out of here, but I can’t tell if I’m going from one hell of a work schedule to another with Ivanov Corp.” That last bit was a little too honest. “Come to think of it I’m not even sure who I’ll be working with, considering Alex and Christian won’t be back till next Monday…” I drifted off, thinking about that more.

Who was actually running the show while they were away?

“Uh-” Don paused a moment. “Tomorrow? I thought you were leaving Friday?”

Just as I was shifting gears to get back into the swing of emails, that pulled my attention right back to my advisor again. “Uh- no , my return date is for tomorrow. I messaged the office Sunday night to confirm with Fin.”

“Yes, and Fin quit first thing Monday remember? He didn’t see that email you sent, so guess who had to work your last minute itinerary while they were smack dab in the middle of financials. “ Don set his tablet on my desk above a stack of discarded papers, as he turned his body towards mine.

“ Ah shit ,“ I sighed, resting my head in my hands while my elbows held me up against the wooden desk.

“Let me see if I can change it,” Don insisted, picking up his tablet again to pull up the flight information. He could probably tell by now just how much today was wearing me thin. Hell, it was only Wednesday and this week had been back to back things with work.

I needed to leave tomorrow. There was no way I could be away from Herold for that long, and absolutely no way I could ask Derek for any more favors. He was already doing a lot by taking the time to check in on my demon child.

“Okay,” Don interrupted my internal spiraling, “so there’s no direct flights out tomorrow, but there is one tonight. It’s late- looks like the departure is set to 10:36pm. With the time difference, you’ll touch down at 11:23pm there.”

If my head could’ve sunk any lower into my hands, it would’ve. “Yeah,” I found myself saying. “Yeah that’s fine. What will we do about the meeting with Dickens & Rogers tomorrow morning? Assuming you planned for me to be on site.”

Don studied his tablet screen a moment. “I think a Zoom call should be fine, I’ll take care of the minute details tonight and follow up with you first thing in the morning.”

“ My hero,“ I cooed . “ I could kiss you right now.“ I finally lifted my head from my hands to cast Don a dreamy glance.

“And judging by your track record with conquests I’m sure you almost never hear this sir, but I’d rather you not .” Don teased back, completely used to my harmless flirting by now. “What I would like however, is Carson’s parking space. Since you’re in such a generous mood and all.”

“Not that generous,” I replied almost instantly. “That’s between you and Carson.” 

And I was serious. I refused to take part in this ridiculous feud Carson and Don had going on. Carson was our Director of Human Resources, who somehow managed to get the underground parking space closest to the back entrance which we all preferred using. I cannot tell you how he swung that, especially considering I own the company and even I didn’t have the best seat in the house… but the spot soon turned into a source of mayhem, with everyone trying to figure out what Carson’s price was to give it up.

The person who had tried the hardest in the office was Don, offering up anything from seasons tickets with some sort of sport he swore he heard Carson liked, to straight up hard cash.

Safe to say Carson wasn’t budging, and that made things personal for Don.

“For all the things I do for you, this is the thanks I get?” He quipped back, leaning off my desk to slide his tablet in the laptop bag that sat on the chair across from mine

“He’s been gone three days- technically two and a half.”

“Yeah and with how much you do John, two days is two years in standard business time. Probably two decades in Ivanov Corp time…” Don muttered that last part more to himself, but it still got a grin out of me.

“I thought Alex was making changes for the better?” I asked with a bit of humor and curiosity laced in there.

“Oh he is, trust me, he really is. But if you think a new assistant- or I guess partner?… Husband? I don’t even know what you’d classify that relationship as other than an insane HR violation. Anyways, if you think that’ll squander the years of history we have with Ivanov Corp, you are sadly mistaken. Tell Christian I want his apology in writing for how he botched the closing on that 2018 deal which, might I remind you, was a favor on our part.”

“Oh trust me Don, you’d surely never let me forget.” I teased, turning on my second monitor for a more aggressive approach to the remainder of the workday. If I was heading back tonight, that meant everything I had planned for the next 24 hours had swiftly gone to shit. Now I was on go mode, making sure Don had everything he needed for tomorrow even though I’d be just a phone call away.

“And rightfully so. To this day, I still struggle to understand your relationship with Christian.”

That made my easygoing smile widen. “Maybe that’s why I like it so much- because people don’t understand it. And as much as I love you Don, and appreciate all the abuse you’ve endured on my behalf, you’re going to have to forgive him at some point. You’re my financial advisor after all, you know best the potential with this deal and It’s undeniable that Christian and Alex have worked hard to turn things around.” Don’s eyes softened at that. “Why don’t we wait and see what else this founding father’s got up his sleeve? He sure did surprise the shit out of us with our last conference.”

It was my turn to remind Don that he was the one who approved of this deal in the first place, regardless of his issues with Christian. Alex really did blow our socks off siting some actual precise projections we could work off of, along with his insane turnaround time. Plus Don hated Jack Nickelson just as much as Christian did, and hearing how Christian completely snapped on him during their visit here made Don smile ear to ear.

What was that saying?

An enemy of an enemy is a friend?

Yeah, Don needed to come to terms with that soon if this partnership with Ivanov Corp was going to work.

••

11. What An Unexpected Surprise

Derek

“Oh so now you want to make peace?” I questioned Herold as he forcefully nudged his way into my lap.

I was sitting on the floor of John’s living room, leaning against his bookshelf as I read more from his insane comic collection. I didn’t even know the time anymore, yet I promised myself that after I was done with this next Black Panther issue, I would head home. Joan and I were supposed to grab drinks tonight, but she called me shortly after we got off work tonight, to say something urgent came up. Sure I was bummed, but Joan rarely ever cancelled, and the tone in her voice honestly scared me a little.

She couldn’t talk long, so I decided not to dig deeper. We still had tomorrow and Friday in the office together, where I was sure she’d tell me more then. This was when I’d usually guilt trip Alex into going out, but in addition to him cutting out alcohol, he was also on his honeymoon with Christian.

It felt like everyone had somewhere to be tonight except me.

So by default, John’s living room floor was the next best thing.

Herold and I didn’t start out on the best of terms this morning. The look he gave me when I poured his dry food into his food dish, had told me to make myself useful and go jump off a goddamn bridge. Now it was the evening, and based off his reaction this morning, he didn’t take well to the second serving of dry food.

At first he tried to ignore the food dish entirely, and to my surprise, he held out for a decent amount of time. About thirty minutes to be exact, with me justifying staying by making sure he ate.

Well now it was well past the time he caved and ate, so with a full belly, Herold must’ve decided he wasn’t mad at me anymore.

“You miss him, huh?” I asked this this furball as he nuzzled even deeper into my lap, curling his body up so his back feet were close to his head. He fit perfect in the pocket I created by sitting crisscross applesauce. Of course I got no answer from Herold, but I could feel his need for attention whenever he squirmed as I pulled my hand away. “If John let’s me,” I continued, massaging the tender spot under Herold’s chin, “I can come visit again while he’s away.”

I know this sounded batshit crazy, but when Herold’s head tilted up away from his curled body towards me, I swore he understood what I just said. The look he gave me almost converted me over from a dog person to a cat person… well, almost . The battle wounds from Herold were still a little too fresh for me to be completely convinced.

And yet I found myself sitting there, feeling Herold’s quick breathes as he drifted to sleep. If it wasn’t for his white fur, I would’ve thought this was the cat from Hocus Pocus with how his relaxation soon pooled into me. Such witchcraft.

I couldn’t remember when, or how, but moments later, sleep seduced me also.

John

There was no way to describe how the last 20 or so hours went. Work was about as brutal as predicted, putting me in yet another predicament where I questioned whether or not I could actually make this flight tonight. Safe to say I did… even though I had to go straight from the office to the airport to catch it.

Luckily Don had booked the best of the best, priority check in, boarding, and first class with travel notes- god bless him . Any time I could, I prefered to fly economy, but after my flight in Monday morning, I decided this could be one of the few times I treated myself to something better.

The only issue was, regardless of what class I was flying with, I had this thing where I couldn’t bring myself to fall asleep on the plane. This meant I spent the entire two hour flight just staring into the abyss that was the pitch black sky through my window seat. The darkness brought on a state of delirium, where for a moment I could’ve sworn I dozed off with my eyes still open.

And I dreamt about Derek and Herold.

Maybe putting those two together wasn’t the best idea, I thought to myself… but it had to have gone better than the last few times I had Brad check in on Herold. Those two were damn near diabolical, with Brad not afraid to discipline using a spray water bottle, and Herold too bold to accept defeat by said water bottle. I once came home and it looked like two people had had a water gun fight indoors. Brad swore up and down that all he used was the spray bottle, but my furniture was giving super soaker three thousand . Herold was drenched, and yet he still had the stamina to come at Brad with the heat of a thousand suns.

It was from that day on, I realized those two were never meant to mix.

And that was when I started having Brad house sit while Herold traveled with me.

By the time the plane landed, I got my luggage, and was in a ride home, I couldn’t process what I did for the last three or four hours. It was like my body had been on auto pilot for all of it.

Usually I’d take public transportation home since I lived close, but Don insisted that this would be the very last thing I’d want to deal with upon touch down… and he was so right . I was in such a state of delirium, I almost kissed the Ivanov company driver that insisted it was no hassle to get me back to my humble abode this late at night… So you could imagine my initial shock when I stepped through my home, set my suitcase aside, and walked down the corridor only to be greeted by not one but two individuals.

I couldn’t decide what I was more taken back by- Herold fast asleep in someone else’s lap, or that someone else being Derek, who was fully surrounded by open comic books on the floor of my living room. I froze for more than a few seconds, unsure of what to do or say.

Derek was still wearing his work clothes which consisted of a light blue button down shirt, dress pants, and a chrome grey tie that was loosened around his neck for what I assumed was comfort. His hair was scattered everywhere, and yet it still had this unmatched sex appeal. The type of style that made you want to run your fingers-

Herold must’ve smelt me before he heard me, because I saw his nose point in the air before his eyes flew open. Every attempt was made for him to remain calm, but the ways in which he leapt from Derek’s lap woke Derek up immediately after.

Fuck.

“ Shit “ was the first thing I heard him say, ignoring the very prevalent cat scratches Herold left as I watched this adorable man rub the sleep from his eyes. The position he was in couldn’t have been comfortable, I was sure of it, yet Derek woke up like he was on cloud nine. I saw him completely stretch out his limbs, before his drowsy eyes found mine.

And when they did, panic immediately took over.

“Oh- oh

• oh shit, fuck .“ He was scrambling now, working overtime to get the many comic books in order. “I-I’m so sorry- I didn’t”

I didn’t even process what Derek was saying. By default, I found myself helping him pick up the comics, but my eyes quickly widened when I noticed how he was filing them back on my shelf.

“Did you-” I started, not sure how to even word this correctly, “did you- uh, did you memorize how they were shelved or?”

Derek was still wiping sleep from his eyes as he shook his head no in panic mode. “They’re arranged by release date, right?”

That was when my body stopped moving entirely.

And all I did was stare as Derek placed the remaining comics back on the shelf. He didn’t even check the release year… because he obviously didn’t need to.

“Yeah,” I tried to play it cool with my tone of voice, but I was failing miserably, “how did you..”

Derek shrugged, still rubbing his eyes aggressively. “I noticed once I started your x-men collection. Weird enough, this is how I have my own collection at home. Makes you feel like you’re in the past huh?” He massaged his face some, getting rid of the sleep lines, “It’s like a sacred timeline you get to travel back to.”

I almost dropped my whole fucking cat at Derek’s words. I hadn’t been expecting them, nor him , but as I watched him gently place each comic in their rightful place, I couldn’t help but smile.

What an unexpected surprise , I thought to myself as I gently placed Herold back down.

••

12. Breakfast At Terry’s

John

Derek insisted he should go.

I insisted he should stay.

And then we went back and forth on this for what felt like fucking hours.

When he finally caved on my demands which were that he should stay the night because it was literally almost midnight and he could barely keep his eyes open, I insisted he take my bed.

He insisted he take the couch.

Then there was more ridiculously polite back and forth until I was the one who eventually caved to his demands.

It was kinda hard arguing with his reasoning, which was that I just got off a two hour flight and desperately needed some sleep. The yawns that broke up my argument weren’t helping my case much either.

“Here is a blanket, and two pillows-”

“One pillow should be fine-”

“ You’re getting two .“

Derek’s soft, sleepy eyes found mine again and he finally just nodded, accepting defeat thank fucking god . I couldn’t tell if he was too tired, or if he was starting to pick up on my exhausted yet stubborn attitude. Maybe both.

Good.

“And if you need anything, my bedroom is just down the hall to your right.” I continued, making my way to flip on a dim lamp that was on one of the side tables, before switching the bright overhead light off.

The small lamp gave the room a warm glow, with just enough light to get around, but to also fall sleep with it on. Derek looked exhausted, barely caring to fully unfold the blanket before he collapsed on the couch. I watched him snuggle up with the knitted material, and forced myself to remember that he chose the couch.

We could’ve just shared-

“Goodnight.” I spoke, giving him a small smile which he comfortably returned once he settled in.

“Goodnight,” He replied, his eyes finding mine briefly before his lids slowly lowered.

With a shit twist of fate, sleep didn’t find me nearly as easily. I had only slept about two hours before I woke up needing to piss. Then of course, because my bathroom was down the hall, I used that as an excuse to check in on Derek quick. My bedside clock told me it was nearing 2:15 in the morning, which was something I was going to ignore for now because work was only four hours away.

Derek was knocked out cold once I made it to the living room. I noticed the blanket was pulled tight around him, tucked in on his sides as he brought it up to his chin, so I checked the living room thermostat and bumped it up a few degrees. I also grabbed an extra blanket from the cabinet in the bathroom, and unfolded the fabric before I draped it over him.

His skin looked so soft in this warm lighting. So soft, I found my fingers lingering on the blanket’s edges after laying it over his slender frame. I noticed the few bits of stubble coming in as it cast a slight shadow on his chin, and I was having an internal battle for a second, right before I put the whole fucking debate to rest.

I was not going to be a fucking creep and touch Derek’s cheek, even if it was out of pure curiosity- not lust. I was going to let go of this blanket, and go back to fucking bed…

John.

John…

My fingers brushed some of Derek’s messy hair away from his face, studying his sharp cast features intently as I did. I wasn’t sure what you’d call this hairstyle, maybe chaos , but it suited him so well. It looked like someone took a leaf blower and just went to crazy, with locks of hair tossed in every which direction. His body shifted again, and when he ran his hand ran through his hair recklessly while his lashes fluttered against his cheek… I immediately backed away.

We were most definitely crossing boundaries I shouldn’t have needed to remind myself of .

There was off limits … Then there was Derek .

Bed. Now, I commanded myself, not caring to give me even a fraction of the benefit of the doubt for this one.

I released a final sigh, granting myself one last look at Derek before I headed back down the hall.

And sleep must’ve been punishing me for my acts, because I couldn’t bed her no matter how hard I tried.

I whispered sweet nothings in her ear. I hummed a lullaby. I counted fucking sheep.

By the time the clock struck five in the morning, I was on my hands and knees begging her for mercy.

But alas, all that was granted was about four hours of shut eye total. My alarm woke me up again, reminding me that Don was going to be calling in less than thirty minutes and I needed to get my shit together.

I was so delirious this morning, I literally forgot that Derek had spent the night at my place until Herold dragged me to his food dish in the kitchen. You might be wondering how this cat dragged me, a full grown man… but all I can say is do not underestimate Herold’s set of chompers. Once he locked in on my pajama pants, he was no longer asking questions and I had no other options.

Now if I had remembered that Derek had spent the night, I probably would’ve done a few things differently. For starters, I would’ve put more clothes on.

Maybe. I at least would’ve thought about it…

“Oh- Hi.” I froze, watching as Derek stood neatly folding both blankets before placing them at the end of the couch.

“I- fuck! Sorry, I meant to be outta here before you woke up.” Derek was still rubbing sleep from his eyes much like he had last night, which told me he was just getting up himself.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “My first alarm goes off at four in the morning, love. The odds of you getting outta here unnoticed is more slim than you winning the lottery.”

Derek’s gaze was failing to meet mine, and at first I didn’t understand why, but Derek had this thing about him where every so often, he just said what he was thinking. No filter. No second guessing. No thinking it through. Nothing. Just a statement as raw as good honey.

“Do you do targeted workouts for those abs?” He asked, mumbling more to himself than me, but I definitely still caught it. And it definitely pulled a smile from me as I glanced down at my shirtless body.

There was about ten thousand other ways I could’ve answered that which would’ve been far more acceptable, and yet the sleep deprivation only made me think of one. “I could show you some,” was all I said. Now the way in which I said it was something I wouldn’t be answering any further questions about.

And Derek must’ve heard the flirtation in my voice, but if he did, he was choosing to ignore it just as hard as politicians choose to ignore global warming.

If I though he was struggling to meet my gaze before, he suddenly took interest in every other thing in this fucking room besides me.

“I’ll be outta here in just a sec.” He assured me, still refusing to glance my way, so I approach the man moving about in the warm living room lighting.

“I’m about to make some breakfast, why don’t you stay for that?” I collected the pile of blankets he meticulously folded, along with both pillows that he eventually used at some point in the night. Good .

“Oh-” he finally looked up at me, and I watched as his hands immediately ran through his messy hair. There was no saving the train wreck that was this bed hair, but when his hands ran through the tangled strands, I watched his toned arms tense slightly before falling to his sides.

All it took was one man sleeping in my home for the first time without actually sleeping with me, and here I was lusting for him like a goddamn school girl. It didn’t help that I was always the kid who got jealous of toys he couldn’t play with.

Off fucking limits, I reminded myself, tugging my lips up into a friendly smile instead as I thought of a way to convince him to eat.

“I should really get back home so I can make it to work on time,” he insisted.

“How about you stay for breakfast, and head to work after? If you feel like showering and changing clothes, you’re welcome to anything in my closet.”

He finally looked at me again, but this time his eyes analyzed my larger bare frame… and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t latch onto any bit of attention he showed me, whether it was sizing me up or not.

“Yeah… I’m pretty certain I’m not fitting into any of your clothes,” he said with a tinge of embarrassment. I was trying to pay attention, but his Adam’s apple dipped again as he swallowed, and that demanded the attention of all my remaining barely working brain cells.

“Don’t worry,” I told him simply, “we’ll make it- them fit.”

••

13. Let Him Cook

Derek

I had no plans of staying as late as I did yesterday.

Absolutely no plans of spending the night, that’s for sure.

And if you told me this morning after would end with me on one of John’s barstools, watching him cook breakfast while he got his laptops fired up for a meeting in fifteen minutes… I’d tell you to get into writing with a storytelling gift such as yours.

“What are you doing?” A man asked through one of John’s laptops, which was facing away from me and towards John as he cut some tomatoes on the counter.

Much to my dismay that was.

I wasn’t a vegetable person at all . I liked bread. And sweets. And cheese. Pretty much any non healthy food you can think of, is on my list of prospects. So far John had cut spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, bell peppers, and some green leafy shit I didn’t recognize… and all I could tell myself was to let him cook.

Trust the process.

“I’m making breakfast,” John replied to the man who sounded incredibly serious and alert for how early it was. Even John had some remnants of sleep still in his eyes, and sleep lines down his neck. And chest.. .

It was like somebody had cut John out of one of those sexy shirtless year calendars police and fire departments sometimes did. Or at least I think they did, I’d only ever seen this referred to in movies and TV shows, which was where I based most of my knowledge from, but if that didn’t exist in real life it should. Imagine the department revenue that would come in. Maybe I gotta look into that as a potential business idea…

I couldn’t help but stare at him, I mean, what guy wouldn’t want a body like that? The amount of chicks he must get, have got to be astronomical.

“You’re making breakfast now? We’ve got this call with Dickens and Rogers in like thirty minutes. And why are you shirtless?”

I wondered the same thing…

“Because I’m in the comfort of my own home,” John replied.

Shit. Right. I was the one intruding here, I reminded myself. But John insisted…

I watched as he transferred all the ingredients into a bowl, before popping open the egg carton. Oooh, it’s an omelette , I thought to myself. I wasn’t sure where he was going with all the rabbit food he put in there. I was always a cheese and bacon bits omelette girly myself, so this one was going to be… interesting…

Let him cook. Let him cook. Let him cook… don’t say anything stupid, Derek.

“I know you love trying to seduce me with that meticulously cared for body of yours… but as far as I know, these aren’t the ass ets Dickens and Rogers are interested in.” The man’s voice replied.

I immediately inhaled, coughing on my spit as it travelled down the wrong tube.

John looked up from cracking an egg, to catch my eye. “You okay?” He asked me, but there was something else in his eyes when he caught mine.

My hand went to cover my mouth as I faked a few more coughs to cover up my surprise. “Allergies,” I replied with.

“Now who the fuck is that?” The voice over the video call demanded, continuing. “Please don’t tell me you’ve got another one of your nightly escapades in on this call with us. As your advisor, I cannot begin to tell you how many violations-”

John hit that mute button so fast, it sounded like someone took the needle off a record. Or unplugged the radio. I’m dating myself again, aren’t I?

“Don. Donald. Donny boy,” he spoke gently down next to his computer screen, “you are still very much on speaker. I’m going to take you off mute now, and the next sentence should be chosen carefully with as much grace as I know you have in you.”

I kept my gaze on John, watching more of his Hulk Hogan like arms tense as he pushed himself up from his laptop, but this time he refused to meet mine.

Trying to seduce him?

Nightly escapades?

I didn’t even have time to process that, because a moment later, John hit that same button and Don- I guess his name was Don? came through the speaker once again.

“Well excuse my stupidity, I didn’t know we’d have an audience this morning during a highly confidential financial review. “ John transferred the mixed eggs and veggies into the hot pan, ignoring Don’s very chosen words.

“Breakfast is almost done, we’ll be wrapped up before the call,” John insisted. I watched him handle the pan expertly, while each muscle in his ridiculously Ken shaped body rippled like a chain reaction at each move. And in his defense, the eggs were taking literal seconds to cook.

“Yes, before that call. We still have this call to review our workload. Which I shouldn’t have to add, is also highly fucking confidential. “

I was starting to believe the man before me invented the art of multitasking, because he was doing it all. He got a good flip on the omelette (after adding some cheese to it, thank the heavens), then removed the coffee he was brewing from his coffee maker. The smell of both the omelette and coffee together was making my stomach start to growl, and as if on cue, John began plating.

“Trust me,” he glanced up at me slightly, “I don’t think we have much to worry about. He works for Ivanov Corp. Plus we’ve already bed the company, there’s no secrets between Ivanov and Mavericks.”

“ You’ve got to be kidding

• so now you’re fucking someo-“

The speed in which John whipped around to tap that mute button again, almost sent the omelette flying off the plate. My stomach was thanking every god known to man that it didn’t, and he was still able to set it in front of me moments later.

A fork and cup of coffee soon followed, but he avoided my gaze once again. Then he plated his own omelette, poured his own cup of joe, and I thought he was going to turn back to his computer, but he instead rummaged through one of the kitchen drawers. Seconds after, his hand retrieved some Bluetooth ear buds and he put one in his ear.

It was only after he got everything connected, did he turn to me with one of those stellar smiles, finally met my gaze, and said “Eat.”

I chuckled nervously, offering a small ‘thanks’ before picking up my fork. Everything about this call felt weird, but the food in front of me distracted me immediately.

Did this look and smell absolutely delicious? Yes .

Was I still hesitant to try it? Also yes.

And I thought the kale situation at Brad’s place was horrific.

These two were like two peas in a pod. See, even the reference that fit just had to be fucking healthy.

“You’re a piece of work, you know that?” I heard John say to Don, but I didn’t hear Don reply. Instead, I gave the first bite of this literal garden of ingredients, a try.

And boy oh boy, did it knock my socks clean off.

John

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” I spoke to Don, trying my best to maintain every bit of composure as I could literally see the wheels in Derek’s mind turning.

Fuck , I was sure he heard all that… I just wasn’t sure if he comprehended all that.

Derek was… well he was… well… his mind worked in the most… complex way I’ve seen for some time.

He could tell me the complete history of Hawaii’s Great Hot Dog Eating Competition, but other things just sorta slipped through the cracks. Like what a retirement account was, for starters. I kinda liked it, he had selective memory so the things he remembered, he cared to, and I liked hearing about why. What made those things so important to him?

“Oh, I’m a piece of work?” Don shot back, pulling me away from the concentration I was starting to have on Derek, as he took his first bite. “John, I do not have to be the one to say that fucking an employee of Christian fucking Iva…”

Don was continuing his lecture, but the sound Derek made with that first bite drown out whatever scolding I was getting. His lips twisted up into a grin so goddamn big, I knew I was starting to smile like an idiot in response. He made a sweet hum of approval, which brought my focus even more to those lips…

“Are you even fucking listening to me? John? John!”

Don’s direct tone forced my eyes back down on my computer screen. Don was sitting at his desk, with a look on his face that said he wanted to jump through this video call and strangle me.

“I- yes, sorry, yes I am.” Focus, John… jesus christ .

Derek looked up from his plate at me with that same goofy smile…

“If you don’t wipe that insane smile of yours off your goddamn face, I’ll smack it off. Then phone HR.” I heard through the ear bud.

“If you lay hands on me Don, HR will find my own hostile workplace environment complaint. We don’t want Carson seeing that, do we?” I played into his ultimate weakness- that parking spot. “Plus, we’re not even from the same companies. The hell would HR do with your complaint? Keep the fireplace going?”

I was trying to keep my responses on this call as vague as possible, because Derek could still hear them, but that last sentence would sound just about batshit crazy to anyone. I took my first bite of my omelette, and nodded to myself approvingly. I did good.

“So you two are dicking each other down then?” My little earpiece spoke to me.

That made the piece of egg I was trying to swallow, lodge into my esophagus, and I started to choke. Derek got up almost immediately, but I waved my hand dismissively, signally for him to sit and eat while I fought for my life over here. Seeing Derek enjoy a meal I cooked, would be a pretty good parting gift before death eventually found me, if I was being honest.

“Don,” I croaked out, taking a sip of coffee to help, “I-I’m not, we’re not- that’s off limits, and besides he’s- wasn’t this supposed to be a review before the financial review? We’ve got that next meeting soon, so lets wrap this up.”

And thank god Don did. Because judging by Derek’s expression with that very last bit, he was starting to piece a few things about my life together.

It wasn’t that I was ashamed of my sexuality, quite the opposite, I was just concerned that Derek would take my kindness as something more.

Well… wasn’t it something more?

No , I told myself firmly. For the sake of our blossoming friendship, it couldn’t be. I was just being kind.

And he was off fucking limits .

••

14. If You Were A Man, Would You Find Me Hot?

I made this chapter a lil longer cause we got some serious fluffy ground to cover these next few chapters before we get into the real steamy stuff.

I’ll probably shoot for closer to 2,100 words than my usual 1,500 moving forward.

So

What can I say

Except

You’re welcome ;)

Love y’all to bits, then a million little pieces

xoxo

Derek

“Hey Joan?” I asked, pushing my chair back from my desk to look at her.

“Yes Derek?” She replied, still keeping her eyes glued to her computer screen as she took small sips of her coffee.

“If you were a man, would you find me hot?”

She started coughing abruptly, working to clear her throat before she turned to me from her office space.

“Derek,” I heard one of her iconic sighs as she replied. “That question- that…” she sighed again, pulling off her glasses that she really only wore during work hours, and set them on her desk. Then she gently rubbed the bridge of her nose. She must be tired , I thought to myself. “Oh boy, there’s a lot to unpack with that one. For starters, I’m not a man. Or gay. How did we- how did we even get to this question, like what brought us here?”

I pondered for a moment, thinking how best to put this.

“Well I just- I-… how do you know when someone likes you? Like as in a guy to guy sorta situation. I’ve just never…”

“Derek,” Joan sighed, “neither have I. Like I said, I can’t even tell you what I’d find attractive as a guy, to a guy, cause I’m not a guy… or gay, dear lord give me strength . But since I love you so very much, I’m going to try to help you with this absolute car wreck of scenario.”

I gave Joan a smile. I was really grateful for her.

“I think John Terry might be gay,” I blurted out.

Joan looked at me funny a moment. “And what does that have to do with you being attractive to him? Derek, I really hope that you’re not assuming of a person is gay, that they’re automatically attracted to every guy.”

“No no!” I rushed out quickly, trying to unscramble what I was getting at. “I-It’s not like that, it’s just- he makes these comments and I can’t tell whether they’re flirty or a joke. And he just- I can’t tell if he’s being nice or… And today there was this video call he had-”

“Well Derek,” Joan gently interrupted, “he could just have a flirty personality. I don’t think he would overstep or do anything intentionally, that would make you uncomfortable. At least that’s just what I got from the little I talked to him during the Hawaii trip. He also gifted me and Brad one of the best vacations of our lives so I’m a bit bias here with my absolute adoration for him. If you prefer he doesn’t act like that towards you, then you have every right to tell him that though.”

I sat back in my chair, pondering a moment while Joan slipped her glasses back on, and returned to her regularly scheduled program. She also put up this little stand alone sign on her desk that says:

Do NOT Disturb Under NO Circumstances You WILL Be Dealt With

That told me Joan was done taking anymore questions for a while, and ya know what? Fair. She did just get done explaining to me the changes with our new company website for the nine gazillionth time, because helping customers navigate it while on a call has been hell on earth for me. She earned a break.

I, on the other hand, spent the rest of the work day spiraling like no one’s business. Though Joan and I’s workload was insane this week with Christian and Alex out, I found myself wandering back to the thought of John in between every service call.

Maybe I was making a big deal out of all of this, like Joan suggested. Maybe he was just flirty. I mean his assistant was probably joking about the whole pursuing thing, which meant that that was probably just John’s personality.

Right. Yeah.

Right on, brain!

It only took us- I glanced at my desk clock to see it was almost five thirty, which was when I’d be done today… only took us eight hours to figure that one out.

But it felt good. Most of all, I liked that the outcome meant John and I were just friends, and I could stop being awkward. I always thought that vegetables in anything completely ruined a dish, but this morning I was wholeheartedly suprised. I wasn’t ready to let that kinda cook go so soon.

My stomach growled as I gathered my work things. I turned to Joan, who was still at her desk working away.

“You’re not calling it quits?” I asked her. She still had that Do NOT Disturb sign up so I was taking a gamble on whether she was going to acknowledge me or not.

But she did, she popped out one of her ear buds and shook her head no. “I practically bribed Nora in HR to move up my PTO request so I could take tomorrow off and spend a long weekend with Brad. We’re kinda sorting out some stuff, and I think he needs a bit of a breather, so I rented out a cabin about an hour north from here.”

My eyebrows furrowed some in concern. I remembered how she sounded when she called to cancel plans last night, and now I was more curious than ever to find out what was going on… but instead I nodded. Those bribes couldn’t have been easy. Nora’s got some high prices.

“Sounds good yeah. You just- please make sure to call if you need anything. Anything at all. Besides money, of course. You know I don’t have that.” Joan nodded her head in agreement.

“Yes, no I’m well aware that’s not an option. And if I ever come to you for money, just know the second coming of Christ will soon follow.”

“Well you’re dating an Ivanov so really I should be the one asking for money here, but anyways that’s besides the point.” I waved my hand, dismissing the topic of funds all together. “I can do other things! A home cooked meal? Cleaning up around the house? Delivering a swift blow via baseball bat to the head of whoever hurt you and Brad? You tell me what you need, and I’ll make it happen bestie.”

Joan’s lips curled up into a genuine smile. The first one I’d seen in a while. Then she got up and gave me a hug. “I love you, Mr. Fix It Man.” My arms tightened around her before eventually letting go. She always smelt nice, nothing overpowering, but a fruity floral mix. At least I think that’s how you’d describe it.

Women’s scents are complex. Lilac Lily Rose. Japanese Cherry Blossom. Sweet Pea.

Men’s scents are a concept. Like Phoenix. Mountain. Pure Impact. Sport. Caribbean Chill.

What the fuck do those names even mean?

“Just a phone call away,” I told her. “And it’s pretty much riding season, once you’re back from your getaway, we can take my bike out.”

The smile and Joan’s face immediately vanished. “I’d sooner launch myself off a moving train, than get on that death contraption with you.”

Joan and I went through this every year.

“You’re lucky I love you. Because me and my YZF-R6 that’s currently parked in a second parking space that mind you, I pay my apartment complex a ridiculous additional amount for , do not take kindly to those tasteless tactless words. I’d ask you to apologize to her but she’s not here right now.”

Joan rolled her eyes at me. “You’re a great rider Derek, it’s the rest of the road and the people on it that I’m worried about. I quite like being surrounded by metal on all sides, that both shields me and can take a hit. You get to live this carelessly because you still haven’t set up a retirement account. I, on the other hand, would be damned if I die before I get to reap the benefits of this bullshit.” She signaled to all the work on her desk.

Mmkay. There was some truth to that.

“Alrightalrightalright, I get it. One of these summers though, Joan, just you wait. I’ll wear ya down enough with all my asking, and BAM! You’ll have a newfound addiction.”

“You’re so delusional, but I love you for it. Now scram so I can get work done and get the hell outta here myself.”

She gave me a shooing motion with her hands until I made it out into the lobby of the company. About twenty minutes later, I was home.

I knew I was getting old because that race to get home after work got more and more aggressive with each year. It just felt good being able to walk around in boxers with a glass of wine in hand, while playing the entire soundtrack of Shrek 2 at a respectable volume level because you can’t afford another noise complaint.

That was what peak adulthood looked like.

And that was what I chose to do tonight. I told myself I was drowning out the misery of knowing Joan won’t be at work tomorrow, because it really was the fucking worst when your favourite coworker took the day off. And on a Friday of all days, like who was I supposed to waste eight hours of company time with?

But with the wine coursing through me, it felt like being hit with a bag of rocks when the music cut off right at the build up for Holding Out For A Hero, all because my phone started to ring.

Seeing it was John calling, sent me into immediate panic. It was going on nine thirty in the evening, I was definitely a bit wine drunk, and now all out of breathe because the song before this was Livin La Vida Loca…

But I picked up anyways.

“John!- I mean… hi.” Mm great start, Derek. Smooth like Minnesota roads after a long winter.

I heard his warm chuckle come through before he said “Hi Derek, how’s your night going?”

“It’s…” I caught a glimpse of myself through my living room mirror. I was in my boxers, with the now half empty glass of wine, and a face just flushed red to the gods cause drinking wine always made me turn red. “It’s going pretty well.” I was trying to slow my breathing cause I didn’t want to sound like I just ran a fucking marathon.

“Did you just get done exercising?” He asked. Well great.

“Oh no I was,” I glanced around my apartment for an excuse, any fucking excuse, before I finally found one. And empty Amazon box on my coffee table. “I was moving some boxes around my apartment.”

I picked up the box and moved it two inches before setting it back down. There. Technically I wasn’t lying now.

“Oh got it, well I won’t keep you because I know it’s getting late, but I just wanted to ask if you had plans tomorrow night?”

I plopped down on the couch, spilling some wine in the process but not caring because I didn’t even know how to process what to say next to that. I settled on “I don’t think so?” I mean both of my best friends would be out of town now. I had zero clue what to do with myself.

“Good. I wanted to formally thank you for taking such good job of Herold. I saw a bit of blood on his fur and thought it might be his, then I realized it must’ve been yours, so I want to also apologize for all the harm he’s caused in such little time.”

“It was really no problem!” I immediately insisted. “And I would definitely love to watch him again- I mean, anytime you’re away and can’t take him with you.”

There was a pause on John’s end before he finally spoke. “I’d absolutely love that, thank you. Then let’s shake on this over dinner, tomorrow night at Giulia say 7pm? I could pick you up.”

I set this wine glass down on the coffee table and picked up the water bottle instead. I needed to sober up asap. “Um yes yeah, okay. Uh- we can, there’s no need… how about I just meet you there?”

My face dropped into my hand. Why was I like this?

Another soft chuckle came through the line and it somehow calmed most of my nerves. Why was I nervous? This was just a thank you dinner for taking care of Herold. Reparations if you may. “Yeah,” John replied, “that sounds great. I’ll see then. Goodnight Derek.”

“Goodnight John,” I got out before quickly ending the call. Then I picked that water bottle back up and got to chugging it.

••

15. I Should’ve Just Stuck To One Thank You

I’m in a giving mood today so fuck it

Y’all waited a year for the continuation, you deserve

Here’s another chapter

(And she’s long asf)

Enjoy, lovelies <3

xoxo

John

“You’ve been real fidgety tonight. What are you rushing to get to?” Don asked, setting some financial statements from the fiscal year on my desk.

Well, Christian’s desk.

One should’ve seen this coming, but Christian forgot to mention to Alex how much more often I’d be flying in with this partnership. I told that idiot- Christian of course, not Alex, that he was going to need to set me up with a workstation somewhere. Anywhere, hell I didn’t mind a janitors closet as long as there was a double monitor set up, and a decent amount of outlets.

And yet of course that somehow slipped his mind. As did so, so much. I tried giving him a call but knew before I even dialed his number, that he sure as hell wasn’t picking up. Luckily, Alex saw the missed call on his phone and snuck away to call me back. It was good to see at least one of them still kept tabs on this partnership while they were out.

First Alex recommended I temporarily use his office, but after looking at the literal packed desk filled with papers and folders, I asked for Christian’s office instead.

Alex was hesitant at first, but he was in a hurry before Christian caught him, and I ensured the poor guy that I could handle Christian’s wrath if he felt some type of way about it. I had to remind Alex that before he and Christian shared a bed, me and this dickhead slept top and tail while passed out from alcohol for the majority of our college days.

Christian would live.

Once Don heard about the whole workstation situation, he insisted he take a red-eye here Thursday night to be at the office Friday morning and get me situated, then he was due on another flight back to NYC this Friday evening.

I wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but after how our check in went before the call with Dickens and Rogers, Don felt like an in person regroup would be better before Christian returned the following Monday.

I wanted to think he was keeping an eye on me, and he probably was, but also any mistake by Christian got Don all ruffled, and the office space debacle was probably his tipping point.

“I’m getting dinner with Derek later.”

I could’ve lied, but there was no point. Don pretty much knew my entire schedule anyways, and he did my credit card reconciliation. This man knew more about my spending habits than I did, so dinner for two at Giulia was absolutely going to raise his suspicions.

“Oh?” Don asked, cocking an eyebrow in my direction.

“It’s not like that,” I clarified immediately. “He did a great job of watching Herold for a few days while I was out, and I wanted to do something to say thank you.”

That eyebrow only raised further. “Wasn’t that what breakfast in the morning was?”

“No, no i-it wasn’t like that. That was a thank you because he stayed so late with Herold,” I explained.

“So we’re doing two thank you’s?”

“No, we’re-” I stopped myself, thinking this through before reluctantly replying “yes okay alright I’m doing two thank you’s.”

That judgmental eyebrow finally lowered. Slightly.

“Above my work as your advisor John, I’m also your friend.” Don’s gaze softened just a smidge. “And this is probably the only time I’ll actually ever admit that out loud so treasure it.”

“Consider it treasured.” I smiled across my desk at Don, who finally took a seat in the guest chair. He was a pacer, so seeing him sit without fidgeting told me this was coming from a more heart heavy and less brain heavy space. “You’re still dealing with a messy breakup with Pierre, who by the way, I am about three second away from putting a restraining order out against.”

I didn’t even bat an eyelash at that. If Pierre was nothing, and I mean nothing else , he was persistent.

“Yeah I’ll take care of that when I’m back in New York. Honestly a restraining order isn’t a terrible idea.”

Don chuckled at that. “Yeah that’s what I’m getting at though. You have shit in New York to take care of. Now if this was any nightly escapade, I’d be less concerned, but this is one of Alex’s friends. And Alex is Christian’s husband… assistant… I don’t fucking know anymore, but you get the point. I’m not saying you can’t have friends, but I’ve also known you for far, far too long- some years I still claim were against my will , to know you don’t want this to be just friends. You don’t keep tabs on someone like that to be just friends.”

“I-” I froze a second. “I wasn’t keeping tabs on him per say…”

“Oh?” Don cocked his head. “So that inquiry you did to the hot dog eating competition about Derek’s future visits, when you got back from Hawaii… that was just curiosity? Even your calls to Brad were starting to get weird these last few months. When you asked about Derek, all he did was complain, and you still looked like you couldn’t have been happier to hear the update. It took a Herold emergency for you to finally get his number, and a greater surprise was that you did that, because you don’t leave Herold with just anyone-”

“ Okay okay alright , I see your point.“ I muttered, cutting Don off but refusing to meet his gaze.

“I’m just saying, go do friends things, but leave it at that. The Ivanov’s are enough of a mess to deal with, let’s keep this strictly professional. And that’s to help keep your feelings safe too, don’t forget that.” Don sighed. “I’m already greying, why are you hellbent on making it worse?”

I sighed myself, defeated. Don wasn’t making any miraculous revelations here. I knew all this already, even if I didn’t want to fully admit it.

This was why Derek was off limits.

But that still didn’t stop me from getting home in time to shower, style my hair, brush my teeth, and iron a shirt that matched my light green eyes. The weather was warming up, and nature was in full swing, so green was my favourite color to wear this time of year. It paired well with the golden hair I kept cut short on the sides and my longer front gelled over to my left.

I thought about my eye color. Then about a certain other someone’s green and hazel mix…

John.

“Alright,” I spoke in the bathroom mirror, distracting myself, “let’s get this show on the road.”

I messaged Derek that I was leaving and would be there in thirty. I’d really be there in twenty but I liked to get a feel of the restaurant before my d- before people that I invite arrive.

I couldn’t tell whether Derek would be on time, cause he seemed a little too free spirited for that, but I also believed that if anything could bring the punctuality out of him, it would be food.

Once I got to the restaurant though, my anxiety started to kick itself up a notch when I got a text from Derek that said:

I’m riding over now

Because I immediately thought he might’ve meant via bus… which would’ve taken him at least 30 minutes with traffic even if he lived down the road.

“Mr. Terry, what a pleasure it is to have you dining with us today. We saved your usual private location towards the back, for you and your companion. If you’ll follow me.” The greeter spoke with a smile, and I returned it. I recognized her on the many occasions I stopped by when visiting Christian and Brad. I took Pierre here a few times, but he wasn’t a fan of Italian.

My eyes scanned the fairly full restaurant, before I spotted a small empty table right by the large windows, looking out onto the busy street. “Actually, would it be possible to sit at that table there?”

The greeter took a look in the direction I pointed, then glanced back down at the tablet in her hand. “Hmm… yes actually, yes. We can move some things around to accommodate that request. Please follow me.” I watched her change direction, before she led me to the table.

And I was glad I made the switch. Not only did I have a good view of the entrance so I could flag Derek down when he got here, it was also a breathtaking view of the street at night.

I watched as people passed. Some couples doing their best to walk hand in hand even though the narrow sidewalks barely allowed it. I watched cars pass, some pulling in to park close to the entrance of the restaurant, while others pulled out from visiting nearby shops.

Then there was a rumbling of a motorcycle, but with how busy the roads were, it took a while for me to actually see the motorcycle come into view. I watched this fully black bike pull into a barely there parking spot between two cars. Ah, the convenience of a bike over a car never left me.

Tha man got off the bike, zipping open his worn leather jacket, to reveal a casual white shirt underneath. The wind from the evening hugged the shirt tight against his torso, revealing some definition of his stomach. He paired this with his faded jeans, and it looked nice. I watched him flip his stand before he pulled his helmet off.

And then I forgot how to breathe correctly. Or really at all. I held my breath a few moments, unsure of whether I was looking out into this dimension, or another.

Derek tucked his helmet under his arm before running his hands casually through his beyond salvageable hairstyle, then he took a step back and looked at the building. When his gaze lowered, his eyes found mine through the massive windows. I saw a few strands of hair push back from the wind, revealing more of his face to me.

And a large smile slowly spread across his lips.

…Shit .

I felt my heartbeat quicken.

Fucking shit.

The smile I gave him made my cheeks fucking hurt from how big it was. He didn’t waste a second after that, to head into the restaurant. I saw the same greeter greet him, before she signaled in my direction, and he made his way over.

John, wipe that ridiculous smile off your face right the fuck now.

“Hi,” I gave him a small wave.

“Hey,” He waved back. I was about to get up and pull the chair out for him, but stopped myself. That was doing way too much.

“Uh, please, have a seat. I pretty much just got here so you didn’t miss anything.” I explained, watching as he set his helmet on the windows ledge beside us. “I didn’t know what you meant by ride, but I guess now I do.”

Derek had this sweet tender smile when he looked out to his bike. “Yeah she’s my baby. It’s been some great weather as of late so I’m trying to take advantage of it.”

I glanced from the bike, back to Derek. He slipped off his jacket to reveal the white short sleeved shirt I saw earlier. How could something as simple as a goddamn t-shirt look that good?

“I’m sorry,” Derek said, looking around the restaurant. “I’d never been here before. I didn’t know how fancy it was. I mean here you are looking incredible, and I wore a leather jacket.”

Incredible…

“I like the leather jacket,” I replied genuinely. Derek turned back to me with another smile.

Fuck .

I smiled in return.

I should’ve just stuck to one thank you…

“That had to have taken you a while to save up for. Your bike.” I gestures to the motorcycle still propped up on the stand outside the restaurant.

Derek and I had just received our main courses, mine was the Cacio E Pepe, a simple pasta dish, while he got the Seafood Cavatelli, which was a sort of seafood medley pasta. Judging by his immediate smile after his first bite, I damn near thought his soul had left his body, and transcended to the heavens.

I stupidly offered to share a bottle of wine, and at first I thought his immediate discomfort was because this was starting to feel like a whole lot like a date- unintentionally might I add, but he admitted that while he’d love to, he doesn’t drink and ride.

As he shouldn’t.

So I felt like even more of an idiot for offering.

“Not exactly,” Derek replied after swallowing another bite. “I- um… well it’s a long story but I won a civil suit against one of my ex girlfriends over a ridiculous situation I rather not get into. The settlement was just enough for the bike so I sort of impulse bought it… which you absolutely under no circumstances can tell Joan about, or she will skin me the fuck alive. I am not joking, John. I told her I inherited it from a dead uncle.”

My face broke out into a friendly grin, but my mind was fucking racing.

I couldn’t tell what I stressing out more about. The civil lawsuit part, or the ex girlfriend part.

The lawsuit part, John. The lawsuit part.

“Best split I’ve ever had honestly, besides the legal stuff of course.” His gorgeous smile widened as he looked back at his bike. I could see his reflection in the window, surrounded by the beauty of both the street lights, and the restaurant’s warm chandeliers inside.

Fucking hell, I thought to myself.

Don was right. I should’ve really stuck to just one thank you.

••

16. And I Suddenly Felt… Weird

I plan on spending most of today writing, and going back to edit previous chapters, so stay tuned for some more uploads m’lovelies!

I might also update some of the art (character photos, etc) but we’ll see how much time I’ve got

Love you guys so so so much

xoxo

John

“So… he’s harassing you.” Derek more or less stated in between mouthfuls of his chocolate cake. I slid a spoon back into my own rich coffee flavoured ice cream as I watched him. He had a bit of chocolate on his lips that I want to reach across and wipe off, or rather kis-

John .

I wasn’t even sure how we got on this topic of conversation, but I did not plan on us discussing my ex tonight. Or Derek’s. No one’s exes would’ve been preferred…

No wait, this was a dinner with a friend. Exes were bound to come up right? This was what friends talked about. Right?

Somehow my dumbass let slip about my assistant quitting, and that led to explaining why. Then that led to me telling Derek about my ex… who was a man… which I assumed Derek probably worked out on his own by now, because he didn’t seem too phased about it.

And I appreciated that.

But then that led to me explaining the tumultuous relationship that was between me and Pierre. Yeah I wasn’t too thrilled about that part.

“I mean I wouldn’t say… well okay yeah, I would say it’s pretty much harassment. I know it sounds bad, and it might not sound like he and I have anything in common, but in a way we kinda do. We both don’t fair well with not having things we want. Or rather crave. I just write about it in a diary, and he phones my office one hundred and fifty-two times a day.”

That made Derek unexpectedly laugh, which pulled an unexpected smile from me. Somehow it was easier talking to him about this, even when I hated bringing Pierre up under any and all other circumstances. It generally soured my mood, but it was hard to not feel anything but happy with Derek and his goofiness. He reminded me not to take things so seriously.

“Do you actually have a diary?”

That was a very Derek thing to focus on. “Sort of. I used to, but now I have a journal. It’s for both business and pleasure I guess, so I wouldn’t call it a diary. How about yourself?”

Derek shook his head. “No, but I’m a post-it note guy. I keep them around the home to write fun aspirations on, or help remember certain things.”

“ That’s cute ,“ I whispered without thinking.

Derek’s cheeks turned a blazing shade of scarlet red in an instant, as he stared down at his cake. “I- thanks, yeah- I guess so.” Ah fuck. “Tell me more about him- your ex.”

For the first time tonight, I tried to focus on anything other than the man in front of me. I settled for Derek’s bike again. “He values work a lot, and I do as well, but not in the same way. He used to be the person I could drunkenly adopt a kitten with after a night out on the town, ya know? Well of course you do, you’ve met Herold.” I chuckled, remembering seeing Herold curled up in Derek’s lap as he slept. Fuck, that was so goddamn adorable. “Anyways, then his career got more pressing and as it changed, he started to too. That was the one thing I promised, or I guess that we promised we’d never let happen… putting work before everything else.”

I was trying not to bore Derek with the details, but he had finally ripped his focus away from his plate, to me, and he looked so engaged like I was reading off a script from a telenovela. Hell, it probably sounded like I was.

“Anyways, over time I became less of a person, and more of a possession to him. He liked the thought of being with me, but with how many important dates and dinners he missed, he couldn’t actually like being with me. He might have told me he did, but the truth lives in one’s own actions right? Not words.” Something light flashed across Derek’s face as he slowly nodded. “The breakup was messy because he’s a possessive dickhead who definitely flipped board games over as a kid if he didn’t win. At least I wasn’t that bad.”

Derek smiled. He was still slowly eating, but he was barely paying the chocolate cake any mind now. With a distraction that could pull Derek’s attention away from cake, I almost felt pressured to continue.

“I don’t really have much more to tell.” I spoke honestly.

Derek’s shoulders relaxed back a little, and I let out a light chuckle. I hadn’t noticed he had been slowly leaning forward while listening. Fuck , he was just so-

“I keep a friend like Christian around because he’s on the complete opposite side of the spectrum from Pierre.” I explained. “Christian just doesn’t give a flying fuck.” That made Derek laugh before he took a sip of his water. “And I guess I land somewhere in the middle. I don’t want to become my work like Pierre, but I also don’t have the opportunity to do whatever I want like Christian. I value the weight my employees place on my shoulders… but hell I too want to stomp my work laptop out from time to time.”

That made Derek’s smile widen. I couldn’t tell if it was me, or if he was much more generous with these smiles tonight.

Derek

“So you’re telling me that you literally bolted down the isle barefoot in a peeling off mustache?” John asked between sharp breathes from his rich laughter.

I was trying to contain the side pains from my own laughter. “No-” I inhaled, “I swear to god it was so worth the forever ban. And the arrest. I was glad I got to be apart of that moment for Alex and Christian.”

John looked at me, grinning ear to ear just like myself… and I suddenly felt… weird .

Not like a bad sort of weird, just… just weird.

Like warm? I felt really warm, like someone needed to crack a window in here or something. Speaking of windows … my eyes turned back to the one besides us in hopes I could hide some of my suddenly flushed face. When his smile touched his eyes, and his dimples deepened…

“My deepest apologies for interrupting your dinner, Mr. Terry.” Someone spoke suddenly beside us. “The restaurant is now closed, and though you are welcome to stay as long as you’d like, the kitchen staff must leave to return in a few hours for our next days preparations.” The greeter explained to both me and John. I hadn’t even noticed her walk up.

And as I looked around the restaurant for the first time since sitting down, I noticed that we were now the last two customers in here. How hadn’t I heard everyone filter out over time?

“No, my apologies. Please don’t ask any staff to stay.” John replied with a quickness before he whipped out his wallet and handed a card to the woman. I didn’t even do the courtesy reach for my wallet, because let’s be honest, this place was at least fifty times above my pay grade, and this dinner had to be one months rent.

Maybe two.

I saw it in the decorations, the beautiful hanging vines across the ceiling and warm chandelier lighting. I tasted it in the food- god, the fucking food . I needed to have words with the chef at some point before I died. And lastly, I felt the price tag in the atmosphere. It didn’t help that John Terry raised the price of rent here just by looking this good tonight.

Seriously, I didn’t get it. Did he have a personal designer that put together each look, or what? How could someone look so… so bloody perfect?

“I guess I lost track of time.” I saw him lean forward on the small table in front of us, as the sleeves of the shirt he was wearing tightened against his biceps. The look he was giving me with those light eyes, and easygoing smile, made me avert my gaze to my bike again.

“I did too,” I replied quietly.

John walked me over to my motorcycle, holding my helmet for me as I slipped my jacket back on. The night had definitely gotten a bit more cool.

He kept eyeing my baby, so I asked him a question I couldn’t believe I hadn’t asked all night. “Have you been on one before?”

He glanced up from my bike to me, making sure I finished straightening my jacket before he handed me my helmet.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “it’s incredible. Never owned one personally but some of my friends collect them and I’ve been out riding with them here and there. I do have a valid license… Maybe I need to get back into it.”

That made me smile. Jesus fuck Derek , stop smiling . Please . My mouth hurt from doing that all fucking night . “Well- uh, i-if you want to, we could go for a ride together sometime. Before the weather gets chilly.”

John’s smile dimples deepened, and I straight up just looked at the ground a moment. My face was getting hot again, regardless of the cool breeze tonight. “Yeah I’d love that. How about Sunday?”

That made my gaze snap up to his. “This Sunday?” I asked. John nodded.

“Unless you’ve got something going on. It might be a nice break before the next work week begins?” He suggested. “Especially with Christian and Alex getting back. I know a comic book store just about fifteen miles from my place, with a scenic route. Why don’t you ride over and we can go together? Maybe say a quick hello to Herold too? He’s been missing you already.”

The smile I promised myself to erase off my face, just grew to an unimaginable size. There was no way around it at this point.

I nodded quickly, literally feeling this smile become a part of my permanent features. “Then it’s settled, I’ll see you Sunday Derek.” John smiled as he started to turn, but then he stopped himself, and turned back to me.

Without saying anything he walked towards me, closing most of the distance. Before I could react, his hand reached out and touched my face. I felt his thumb gently graze the corner of my mouth, before he brought the tip of his thumb to his lips and sucked chocolate off it.

My body was so frozen in place as I watched him, I thought the concrete below me must’ve still been a bit fresh.

“Sweet.” He murmured, before he slipped his hands into the pockets of his trousers, and turned to leave me.

I was so frozen, I literally watched him walk all the way to his convertible a few blocks down, get in, and pull off onto the now less busy street.

God only knows how long I stayed on that sidewalk, feet planted near my bike.

By the time I finally made it home, and went to shower, I caught a glimpse of myself in my bathroom mirror. I still couldn’t get rid of the redness scattered across my face.

“I’m not gay.” I whispered to Joan, who had called me Saturday morning to check in. She was whispering because Brad was still fast asleep in their cabin room, something Brad never did past seven in the morning, so Joan was doing her best to keep her voice down and let him rest.

I was alone in my apartment this morning, but since Joan was whispering into the line, I started to unintentionally do it too.

“I’m not saying you are,” she continued, “but it sounds like the date went well.”

“It wasn’t a date!” I whispered a bit more aggressively.

“Okay okay okay, it wasn’t a date… but you had fun right?”

I thought back to last night. John and I had spent almost four hours at that restaurant just talking. I couldn’t remember the last time I spent more than two hours with someone just talking, besides Joan and Alex of course.

Then I remembered him touching me, to wipe the chocolate off my lips…

That was just him being considerate, right? Friends do that. Yeah, friends do that all the time…

“Yeah,” I nodded as if Joan was here sitting on my apartment floor with me. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

“Good,” she replied, “I gotta go now because I want to get started on breakfast before Brad wakes up, but I’ll give you a call tomorrow evening to check in again. And Derek?”

“Yes?”

“Just know that however you feel, is okay. Don’t get too in your head about this one. I know how you can get about things when you sit with them.”

That was the last piece of information Joan left me with Saturday morning, and though I tried hard to heed her word, I couldn’t get these jumbled thoughts together for the life of me.

I kept thinking about John. How he looked last night. There was just no way someone like that existed, no fucking way. Each smile he gave me, showing off his pearly whites…

I flipped to my side while laying on my carpet floor, before my body went full fetal position. I hated that I had to bother Joan with all this when she was clearly going through something, but I also couldn’t call Alex.

The guilt of ruining his romantic dinner with Christian, hit right after that Hawaii trip, and though I wish I could change the past, there was no going back to it. Alex deserved some alone time with his man, especially after everything that had happened the last few months…

So I was left alone.

Like this.

In a fetal position on my floor, thinking of nothing but a man that was too perfect to exist.

This was so un-straight of me.

••

17. No I Was Just Near My Phone

Shooting for a double upload today m’loves!

Here’s another long one!

Also did you guys prefer numbers for chapter headers, or would you like me to make fun chapter names? I always wondered whether that would be easier for you guys to jump to chapters you might want to read again.

I dunno.

Lemme know :)

xoxo

John

I wish I could say my Saturday was spent sipping mimosas on a beach somewhere.

Instead, I was hunkered down in my home office working on tasks that Don had assigned me throughout the week. And working was putting it lightly, because every two seconds I was glancing at my phone like a text would magically appear without the notification sound.

I had messaged Derek to see what time we were on for tomorrow, but that was two hours ago and he still hadn’t responded.

“John,” I whispered to myself, “ get a fucking grip. “

The sound of my phone going off startled me. I barely even looked at the caller ID before answering, which was a mistake because of course it was Don, someone I probably would’ve ignored at this point in the day.

“Were you expecting my call?” Don asked.

I moved some of the stacks of paper to the side of my desk to give me better access to the computer mouse. “No, was I supposed to?”

“Well you picked up after barely the first ring. Usually I can feel you debating whether you want to pick up as the third and forth ring goes through on my calls. This was record timing… sir.” He added that formality in like it was going to do something.

My hands froze at that, and I leveled with myself a moment. If Don asked about the second thank you, what was I going to say exactly? And more importantly, did he really need to know about my plans for Sunday? Most likely not… I bought enough comics on my own that whatever Derek and I picked out tomorrow wouldn’t raise much suspicion with my credit cards.

That and, regardless of how bad it sounded, I didn’t want Don to talk me out of this one. Not like he had much to stand on, friends went to comic book stores together all the time.

And I really didn’t want to hear about what was for the good of the company and myself. As reckless as this was, all I wanted to do was spend a little more time with Derek. Especially before Christian became a living pain in my ass.

I know how it all sounds, trust me. I know.

But the thought of seeing Derek in his element at one of my favourite comic book stores sounded too good to pass up. I was also excited for us riding there. His bike was beautiful, and it made me wonder how good a rider he actually was. Like should I be drafting out a will today or not? I liked the uncertainty that came with him.

“No I was just near my phone,” I replied. That was technically the truth, but Don was also right, I usually debated picking up his calls whenever I saw them come through. Getting a call from Don was usually to inform me of some shit hitting the fan, and honestly? I had very reserved time for bad news these days.

Speaking of reserved time, I was going to have to get used to the Ivanov’s calling at the ass crack of dawn again. It honestly made no sense, both brothers got up at like five or six in the morning, and while Brad managed to get his mood together pretty quickly, Christian acted like we were the ones who woke his ass up that early.

So we were all forced to suffer his shit attitude even though he called us first.

He was really just a gift that just kept giving.

I wasn’t sure how he and Alex worked, but I’m glad they did. This idiot seemed to be trying harder. Hell, Christian was finally getting back to his backlogged unread emails from our marketing department, and unfortunately since the bar was nestled in the earth’s core when it came to him, I was going to take what I could get.

I did wonder about Brad. He’d become increasing more busy over the last month, and we hadn’t had time to catch up like we usually did. I was hoping my more lengthened stays here would help fix that.

I also needed to pay the brothers parents a visit, it had been a long while since I and Anna caught up with each other. Slav was apparently still in town which was a once in a blue moon occurrence all in itself.

I’ve always kept a good relationship with them in terms of my own private investments in Ivanov Corp. Plus Anna was like a second mum to me, especially during Christian, Brad, and I’s college days. She always checked in on both of them, and their house mates once we all moved to housing off campus.

She was a bit crazy at that time, but I understood that it was a lot for her to manage… Christian and Brad in college together. Slav off doing god knows what.

It was my understanding then that Anna had taken Brad under her wing to get him through college, which sounded like a stellar investment considering he decided to continue with law school… But it was only in our second term of college did I actually learn that Christian and Brad were really brothers.

Christian let it slip while he was drunk and laying on the hood of my jeep with me one night. It was only about fifteen minutes after I told him I was very very very fucking gay. He was trying desperately to set me up with a friend of a girl he liked at the time, who honestly, I wouldn’t have been into even if I were straight. I was also pretty sure both her and her friend were into each other, but I decided to let Christian figure that one out for himself. He eventually did.

He was the first person I told in college, and the person to take it the best surprisingly.

Most of my friends were a bit weird about it at first because they instantly thought I liked them, but it was hard to tell your best buds that you wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole. It’s like they all forgot we’d been friends for a while now and I knew their personalities too well.

Hell would freeze over before I decided to date any one of those fuckers.

Even Brad, he was a bit of a whore in college before he tightened up and went to law school. Because he completed the most college out of all of us, we barely ever brought up his early college days. He wasn’t the same Brad anymore anyways, which made me happy to see he was finally pursuing something good for him with Joan… and pursuing it more organically at that. It was the reason why I extended the offer to Hawaii.

And I’m glad I did because Christian told me about Brad’s outrageous six month plan.

Brad took me coming out during college pretty indifferently at the time. He just asked me whether he could tell Christian, and I told him he already knew, then we never spoke about it between us again. He always waited until he knew for sure the people we chatted with knew, before even slightly addressing it in conversation.

And I was insanely grateful for that.

It made me comfortable being myself around him. I guess I valued being around both brothers for different reasons.

The way Christian saw it, everyone could catch strays regardless of their sexuality, and I grew to love that about him too.

He protected everyone close to him, and protected them fiercely. His choices weren’t always easily digestible, but his heart was usually in the right place when he made them.

Christian took his business degree and called it quits after he graduated, while I went on for a double major in both business and finance. Brad was the overachiever, getting both his business and finance degree before moving on to law school.

I could absolutely never. After that double major, I was fucking over it. I wasn’t set to inherit a company like Christian was, Mavericks was actually built from the ground up by me. It was my very first start up, which made my work and what I did for this company, more personal to me than most could ever understand. Especially Christian.

Ivanov Corp was a different dynamic. Slav passed the company on eventually, however I wasn’t surprised by him staying on as COO. Christian was… unpredictable really, until this last year or so.

What did take us by surprise was when Don and I received the notice of a transition with the COO title from Slav to Brad this week. I wasn’t sure what turmoil was happening within the Ivanov company, but it had to be great in order for Slav to relinquish that position. Christian and I really had a lot to catch up on once he returned…

I still couldn’t believe he managed to book a honeymoon so quickly, but I was happy for the happy couple.

With all these changes Don and I were being made aware of during the last week, it sounded like him and Alex needed a break.

“Well I’m glad you were near it, because I called you to correct the general ledger account for some invoices you approved and coded. The ones over a hundred thousand- we spoke about this workflow earlier.”

“Right,” I sighed. I was still getting used to our new accounting software. Don swore up an down that the efficiencies would even out the cost, but all I could do was hope so, as I let him spearhead most of the new processes. “I’ll get right on that.”

“Now,” Don clarified. “Believe it or not John, I have a life outside of this company, and I too don’t want to have to work a Saturday. Because of this error, I have to run financials again . Is this your offer to do them for me? I mean you did get a finance degree. Please, by all means, the floor is yours.”

“I’ll get this corrected in ten,” I grumbled before hanging up.

As soon as I hung up, I felt my phone vibrate again. “Don, I swear I heard you the first time.” I answered irritatingly whilst opening up the accounting software on my desktop.

“Uh-” I heard a voice say on the other end, completely bewildered. One that wasn’t Don. “This is Derek,” the voice clarified. “Sorry… I took a bit of an afternoon nap, and missed your text. I’m sorta in the middle of something… so I thought a call might be easier? Is this a bad time?”

Shit .

“Hey, sorry-” I said a bit unevenly. I had completely expected Don, not Derek. “Yeah no, a phone call is great. How are you?”

Derek took a second longer to reply. “Doing good, sorry, I fell asleep in an awkward position so I’m just getting myself together now. Trying to stretch it out.” That reminded me of how comfortable he looked leaning against my bookshelf a few nights ago. I couldn’t for the life of me understand how he knocked out like that. “How about yourself?”

“I’m doing well, just working on a few things. Sorry for the way I answered, I thought it was a work call.”

“Working on a weekend should be a sin,” he stated matter of factly.

“Agreed,” I nodded. “You said you were working on something yourself?”

There was some shuffling in the background before Derek replied. “Y-Yeah I’m just drawing.” he said with some hesitancy. “I just wanted to confirm for tomorrow. How did around three in the afternoon sound?”

“That sounds like a plan.” I replied before I bothered even looking at my calendar. I’d make it work regardless. “What are you drawing?” I asked, committed to continuing this conversation. I couldn’t tell whether that was more so because I wanted to continue every conversation with Derek, or the fact that I was avoiding my work entirely.

“Ah-” Derek paused, “well I- well… I like drawing these stupid panels. Just like random comics I think of, nothing too elaborate or well thought out. It’s like doodling I guess, but more nerdy.”

I set down the remainder of my work, fully interested now. “Tell me more,” I gently urged him. I could tell he was hesitant to explain, but I wasn’t going to let him leave it at that.

“Well think of like fanfiction, but comics. Sometimes I draw the stories I daydream about with characters that already exist, sometimes I create new ones. However I’m feeling in the moment honestly.”

That made me smile. “I’d love to read some.”

He took yet another elongated pause before I heard his voice again. “Yeah. Sure. They aren’t groundbreaking or academy award winning or anything like that, just fyi. Just a bunch of word vomit too-”

“I find that hard to believe,” I replied, cutting him short. I knew I was pushing the perimeters of his comfort zone, but I didn’t like seeing him downplay the things he liked to do.

“Well maybe you’d like to come over sometime? I don’t have a pet to entertain or bribe you with, but I do have a Tamagotchi that is somehow still alive and you’re welcome to feed him. I think that’s of equivalent value, but this is also coming from a non living pet owner, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.”

I was ready to ask whether he’d want company tonight, but I stopped myself. I needed to fuck someone soon, this was starting to get outrageous. Mother always said the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. “Why don’t we plan for that next weekend? I’ll cook.” I added as incentive.

Derek must’ve contemplated for just a fraction of a second before I heard him agree. “Yeah food sounds great!”

There he went again, focusing on the important details. That made me smile. “Perfect, we’ll plan for it.” I was going to ask Derek what he liked to eat, but seeing how much he enjoyed the omelette, especially after the looks he gave the veggies, I didn’t think I was going to need to cater to him like I did Pierre. I swear that man was the only reason I had put so much effort into learning to cook in the first place.

It was nice not having to build an entire menu every time I wanted to do something nice, like make dinner.

“Perfect,” Derek said. I could hear the warmth in his voice as the call ended, and I had to stop myself from saying it’s a date.

Because it wasn’t. It was just two buds out buying some comics. Completely platonic…

••

18. Just Who The Fuck Was John Terry?

“Another One.” DJ Khaled voice

Enjoy, lovelies!

xoxo

Derek

I stared past the porn on my computer screen, to the blank wall in front of my bed. The sound of a woman orgasming echoed loudly throughout my room, but when I looked back down past my laptop at my little guy for a reaction, any fucking reaction , he was barely hard.

What. The. Fuck .

Don’t think about it, Derek. Don’t think about him. Don’t fucking go there…

But my mind went there.

Went back to a mere hour ago, when I had abruptly showed up at the front steps of John’s home for the second time today, completely soaked, and dripping pond water.

My mind played out every single thing that happened like it was safeguarding this information in case of a universal memory wipe or something. And of course, as soon as the climax of those events on John’s doorstep came to a head, my dick grew rock hard in seconds.

Fuck … Fuck!

Six hours earlier…

It was a perfect sunny day, with mid seventies for the highs, which made the ride to John’s home almost picture perfect. I didn’t even need my jacket, but I brought a light one just in case.

Since it was Sunday, there weren’t that many cars on the road. I got to zoom through the empty streets, weaving through light traffic before managing to get to John’s right at three. He texted me to walk in when I arrived, so I drove my motorcycle up to the beginning of his driveway by his garage, parked it, and made my way in.

His door finger scan thingymadodad only pricked my finger the first time I used it when I came to feed Herold early last week. After that, it just scanned my fingerprint and had me enter the door code. I didn’t know what kind of technology this was, but I decided not to even bother asking. It was one hundred percent outside of my tax bracket.

“Honey, I’m home!” I called out jokingly once the front door opened. Herold appeared outta fucking nowhere, sprinting with intensity before he literally jumped on me.

I’m not joking.

I felt his claws dig deep into my clothing and some of my skin, as this crazy fucker tried climbing me.

“Owow ow ow ow, Herold hold on-” I pleaded, trying to rip him off me but he wouldn’t budge. Instead, after trying and failing to fight him off, I gave up and helped hoist him further up into my arms.

“How domestic,” John replied from the end of his corridor that opened up into the main space. He was wearing a pair of distressed jeans, with a short sleeve white shirt that looked a lot like the one I wore to dinner a few nights ago.

I still couldn’t believe I chose that outfit for a place as nice as that, what the fuck was I thinking? I should’ve googled the restaurant before just showing up.

“Don’t tell me that greeting was for Herold,” he added, walking down the hallway towards me. I hadn’t even been in his house for two fucking seconds and I was already a tightly wound bundle of nerves on the brink of exploding. He looked somehow even more impeccable than he had Friday night, and I couldn’t tell what I loved more about this fit. Probably how casual he was, with his insanely toned arms filling out the short sleeves easily.

“It was…” I mumbled, distracted by John’s fingers as he worked on detaching some of Herold’s nails that were caught on my shirt. His scent of vanilla crowded damn near every thought I had.

It made me happy to see that John didn’t declaw the little guy. Sure I was suffering drastically by his paws, but I always found declawing to be incredibly inhumane for the animal. Like if you cant handle a animal with claws, how about just don’t get an animal with claws? Get a goldfish or something, unless you wanna descale them too you psycho.

“Great. Who knew a day would come where my house cat got more action than me.”

Unfortunately, from John’s proximity, I had nowhere else to look at but at him… So he got a front row seat of my now crimson red face. When has anyone ever rendered me this speechless? Who the hell was this guy?

“Let me get this devil off of ya.” John made his first attempt to peel this furball off of me, but Herold had locked in with a death grip, meowing at his owner in disapproval. “Come on Herold, show some fucking decorum. The guy just got here.” And it was as if Herold understood, because he finally, reluctantly let go. I could see his dissatisfaction etched into his face as he just stared at John.

“He scaled me like a tree,” I joked, and that got John laughing. Jeez, even the guys abrupt laughter was picture fucking perfect. We couldn’t have been more different.

“I wasn’t lying when I said he’s taken a liking to you. I think it’s because you’ve handled his abuse well. Now if he tried to do that shit with Brad, Brad would’ve launched him across the room.”

I cackled,  but tried to muffle it some with my hand. Seeing Brad and Herold going at it would’ve been the highlight of my fucking year. Maybe my lifetime.

“Let me get you a bandaid for that scratch on your arm. I think he got you good.” I looked down where John pointed to see a few droplets of blood forming on my forearm. I hadn’t even noticed. John set Herold down, told him to behave, then disappeared around the corner of the corridor. Herold was eyeing me like round two wasn’t above him, but he didn’t try anything again while John was gone.

I debated whether I should take my shoes off to follow him, but John appeared not even a minute later.

“I’d tell you to kick those shoes off and stay a while, but I forgot the book store closes early on Sundays, so we should get a move on.” He peeled back the protective paper on the back of the sticky part of the yellow bandaid, before he approached me. I held out my arm to give him better access, and when he applied the bandaid, my lips twitched up into a smile.

“SpongeBob SquarePants?” I asked him, referencing the bandaid design.

“Where’s the fun in having a boo boo if you can’t put a ridiculously childish bandaid over it? I’m convinced the adults were onto something when they started offering these to kids, I just wish we as a society never decided to put an unspoken age limit on it… as we do most things.”

That made my small smile turn into a grin. Just who the fuck was John Terry? I needed to meet this man’s mother, because I’d met Christian’s and everything there checked out to a fucking T. Both Christian’s parents actually, jesus . They were… terrifying. And meant for each other. Terrifyingly meant for each other.

“I love that hot take,” I told John, finally meeting his gaze fully. He had this look in his eyes for a moment as he studied me, before that easygoing smile returned and he took a step back. Then I watched him start to slide on his own shoes.

“Well here’s something to think about while we ride- what’s one thing you think shouldn’t have an age limit, and what’s one thing you think should?”

Hmm , I thought about that a moment. It reminded me of the questions John asked me over dinner. Like what’s a tv show that should’ve had another season, and what’s a tv show that should’ve cut their losses while they were ahead? I struggled to think of a show for his first question, but as for his second, that was easy. To this day, if anyone asks, The Magicians ended on the fourth season. I do not acknowledge the fifth.

John got me thinking, which was something I rarely ever felt like doing, but with him it was different. Nothing was ever overtly philosophical with him, and yet it wasn’t dry either. I couldn’t explain it, but I liked it. Maybe that was how I found myself staying past close at the restaurant Friday…

John led us outside, making sure to close the front door quickly behind him before Herold could plan his escape, because Herold was already making a meowing ruckus the second John put his first shoe on.

It almost made me want to skip out on the comic bookstore all together, and stay here to give Herold some loving. That was a strong almost though, I was more excited to check out a comic bookstore that John loved so much. If it was anything like his choice with Giulia, I was in safe hands. Herold would just have to wait for some post-bookstore belly rubs.

John

Don was right. This whole friendship thing with Derek was probably going to be the actual death of me.

First off, though Derek had great control of his motorcycle, the speed in which we rode had me saying a few hail mary’s just to be safe. And I’m not sure why my brain didn’t register that riding with Derek meant I would have my arms secured tightly around his waist for about twenty five minutes… but it did… and they were… and I was struggling to keep them only there.

I faced a whole new set of challenges when Derek started signaling by reaching back and touching my outer thighs. My guess was he was probably used to doing this with the girls he took out on rides, but for my very gay and slightly sexually starved body, this was driving me fucking crazy.

My limit was reached when we slowed to a stop and Derek shifted back against me. His ass grinded against my already pressing hard on, and if it wasn’t for the helmet I was wearing, he most definitely would’ve heard the groan I tried and failed to muffle.

Fuck, maybe he did. I felt his body go stiff for a few seconds, but he didn’t scoot away.

By the time we made it to the comic book store, my arousal was fucking raging, and I quickly realized this whole thing had been a mistake. I should’ve at the very fucking least, jerked off before this.

I thought maybe Derek didn’t notice the bulge in my pants… but you know who did? Fucking Marty, the bookstore owner.

“Well damn! I know your comic book addiction is really just a cover to come visit me, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy to see me.” Marty gestured casually to my crotch, and Derek turned to also see what he was referencing, then he ripped his eyes away nanoseconds later. He suddenly took interest in the first row of comics on the right that welcomed us when we walked in. My hand moved quickly near my neck to signal for Marty to shut the hell up. “And you brought friends! Or is he your boy-

“This is Derek,” I cut this man off, “he’s a friend.” That clarification made Marty’s lips form a small o.

Marty was… a character.

We had tried to date years and years ago, but that ended up being a bust. Marty found out soon after that he was asexual, and I guess I should’ve been flattered because he told me that if he didn’t have sexual feelings for me, the chances he would have them for anyone were pretty slim.

I told him to live his life however he saw fit, the stigma of sexual desires be damned.

So from then on we formed this oddly satisfying friendship. I thought he was my soulmate once upon a time believe it or not, Marty was the friend I took to every movie premier, every book signing, every convention… pretty much everything that Christian, Brad, and my other friends would rather do community service than attend.

Because of his asexuality, we decided that sticking to friends was a good option. That didn’t stop our consistent flirting though, even though we both knew it was going nowhere, and obviously our bond was strong enough for me to purchase a home near him and the comic book store he decided to open.

It worked out pretty well for the both of us- I got first pick of new issues, whilst keeping his business on the outskirts of town, afloat.

I let Derek wander through the first few shelves while I caught up with Marty on all the changes. He had held a few issues for me while I was in New York, which I told him to just ship over to me, but he wanted to make sure I had a reason to stop by when I was visiting here.

I then had to explain to this man that as long as he kept selling comics, I was going to keep buying them.

We kept the conversation brief this time around since I was with Derek, but before I could find which aisle he’d wandered off into, I felt my phone vibrate. The pessimist in me expected Don, but what I got was an unlisted number.

“Hello?” I answered, confusion present in my voice. I rarely ever got a call to my personal phone that I didn’t recognize.

“Hi, love.” I heard an all too familiar voice reply.

••

19. Jealousy Is A Dish Best Served Soaked

Taking a lil long weekend getaway with my partner so I may or may not upload, but here’s a lil sumtin sumtin to hold y’all over in the meantime :)

Also thank you for all the feedback with chapter names! I went back and created some fun ones that I might tweak if I think of something funnier, but still included the numbers so it’s easier to track for those who preferred that

I love y’all so gd much

xoxo

Derek

The afternoon did NOT go according to plan.

Actually, I want you to think of the worst possible case scenario, and double it. Maybe triple it for good measure…

Here, let me explain.

First off, I had no idea who Marty was, but clearly John did. Clearly he knew him, and he knew him well .

I watched from behind the end of a bookshelf, as John and Marty chatted up a storm. I was reading through a comic called Darkest Matter, or at least I was trying to, but every few moments I was pulled from the story by the sound of John and Marty’s laughter.

Nothing they were talking about could’ve been that funny, I thought to myself.

Mind your business, Derek . I looked back down at the comic in my hand, trying to find which panel I left off on, when another round of laughter echoed through the otherwise empty bookstore. I hadn’t noticed I was starting to hold the pages a little too tight, until I saw some of them folding in on themselves. I released my grip immediately, and said a silent apology to the pages of artwork.

But then my eyes gravitated towards the two men at the front of the bookstore again . Marty had reached out across the register counter to touch John’s upper arm, and I could feel my aggravation quickly growing. As soon as he gave John’s bicep a squeeze, I turned around and walked further down the isle.

This was a comic book store for christsake, I wasn’t going to spend my time here watching John flirt with another man. I decided he’d come find me whenever he was done.

After about fifteen minutes, I thought he was well on his way to doing just that when I heard the chatter quieting down, but then I heard John’s voice again a little closer to me and it sounded like he was taking a phone call.

‘The ship’s temperature had started to cool, causing its controls to signal to the crew that they had mere hours…’ I started reading the comic I picked up from the beginning again because I barely remembered what I had just read, but that was when John’s voice distracted me once more. It was more of a whisper this time.

“How did you get this number Pierre?”

Welp.

Consider my concentration officially broken.

I unintentionally listened in from a few rows down, trying to pick up bits of what John was saying as he spoke quietly into the line.

“How many times do I… No, Pierre, I’m serious…. Fine, you know what? Fuck it- tonight, seven. If you’re late, I’ll fucking-… Fine… Fine … Bye.”

That was pretty much all I got from that conversation before John hung up. And it was just another thing on the list of things that were making me irritated. Was John really planning to see that fuckface again? After everything he explained Friday night, I thought hell would freeze over before he wasted any more time on that guy.

“Derek!” I heard John call out.

“Over here!” I replied, trying to mask the irritation in my voice. It didn’t take long for him to find me.

“Hey, sorry!” He replied a bit bashfully, “I always seem to get caught up in conversation when it comes to Marty. We haven’t seen each other much this last year so I’m trying to make these moments while I’m in town, count. Then Don called just now, work related stuff.”

I gave John a smile, but my irritation was only growing. So we were lying to each other now? I tried to tell myself that John had every right to keep some things private, but a call from Pierre was major right? Isn’t that something you’d tell a friend?

“Did you pick out anything good in the meantime? Oh shit, Darkest Matter, that’s an awesome series!”

I let John give me more of a deep dive into what the story was about, and I would’ve probably been more grateful if I was paying more attention. Instead, my mind was entirely preoccupied.

I kept looking at the places where Marty had touched John. Kept replaying how happy and comfortable they seemed together. I bet he was going to tell him about the phone call , I thought to myself..

And yes, I was well aware we had reached the realm of ridiculous jealousy over something as simple as friendship. I just didn’t know how long it would last for, and spoiler alert, it lasted all fucking day.

By the time John and I finished up at the bookstore, I couldn’t tell what I was feeling, but I knew I didn’t like it. He and Marty still exchanged words here and there as we browsed the store, and Marty offered his input on some new reads which I politely declined, but John insisted on hearing him out.

Honestly, by the time we were done I was just ready to go the hell home. John offered to ride back while I backpacked, and I took him up on it almost immediately. I had barely managed to keep my head on straight while walking through that bookstore, I was sure I’d actually kill us if I was going to steer.

I tried to keep as much distance as I could between John and I on the way back. The hold I had on his waist was loose, and I swear he braked abruptly on purpose because I immediately locked in with a death grip around him right after that. He signaled to me by tapping my outer thigh much like I did with him, but there was a point towards the end of the ride where he placed his hand there and didn’t move it.

The nice thing about us riding was that we couldn’t talk to each other, and I appreciated that now more than ever because anything I was going to say to him was going to sound wrong. Even if he was taking my mind off my irritation, by focusing on the hand that occasionally gently squeezed my outer thigh.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in? Herold was really looking forward to the cuddles…” John trailed off, slipping the comics he purchased for himself under his armpit. He hadn’t taken his eyes off me once he got off the motorcycle, especially after he saw me shift up as I got ready for this ride home.

“No no I really should be getting home. I’ve got… a house plant that needs watering.”

John’s eyebrows furrowed, and once that frown officially crept its way across his face, I felt like someone had shot a harpoon through my fucking chest, and ripped a gaping hole straight open with it. Shit . “Did I…” He paused a moment. “Did I do something wrong?” Fuck .

“No!” I rushed out quickly. “No I swear everything is fine. How about next weekend? Will you tell Herold sorry for me today?” I asked, now unable to meet his gaze at all. John only nodded as he watched me flip the visor of my helmet back down, and start to reverse the motorcycle out of his long driveway.

Honestly, I was so irritated and disappointed in myself, I could feel my hands start to shake some as I rode home.

I tried to take a more scenic route thinking that would help clear my head, but nothing in that mess got any clearer. All I could think about was John and Marty. How comfortable they were together. Marty was just a little taller than I was, but we couldn’t have looked more different. You’d have to be blind not to think the guy was an attractive well kept individual, someone I’m sure John liked as more than friends. It was obvious with the way they openly flirted with each other… I couldn’t compete with someone who owns a fucking comic bookstore-

I stopped that train of thought immediately, but unfortunately I had distracted myself so terribly that my bike steered slightly off the dirt road, and hit a ditch where the gravel met grass which sent me flying off before I started to tumble off the road down hill. Luckily my motorcycle and the bookstore bag I tied to it just slid further down the gravel road and not off the fucking edge much like myself.

I, on the other hand, was nowhere near as lucky. I instead dove headfirst into a small pond located at the very bottom of this slope. I felt the freezing water immediately, and tried my best to pull myself out of the water just as quickly as I had fallen in. Every single part of me was drenched in seconds, from the light jacket I was wearing, right down to my fucking underwear.

And with being this wet, I felt like I was dragging up a body as I tried to climb my way back uphill to my bike. “Fuck!” I shouted out into the empty road like a mad man, wishing I could lay hands on whoever cursed this wretched day for me.

Luckily my motorcycle was fine, but even as I got it up, checked to make sure the comics were fine, and got back on the thing, I couldn’t bring myself to get going again. Regardless of how freezing I was from the pond water and chilly air.

Instead I looked up at the now setting sun a moment and practically begged the universe to reveal her secrets to me. To tell me what it was that I wanted. To explain why after over twenty-five years on this damn spinning rock, I was just starting to feel things that didn’t make any sense.

“I don’t get it.” I whispered to no one but myself. My wet hand gently touched the now soaked material over the spot that John had kept his hand rested on, while we rode back. I thought about the way Marty linked his arm with John’s when he pulled him over to another isle to show him some new releases… “ Fuck …“ I whispered again, finally pulling my motorcycle off the side and back onto the road. This time, I went in the opposite direction of home.

John

I just couldn’t figure out what it was that threw Derek off. One minute he seemed generally excited about the bookstore, but the next thing I knew, he had gotten really reserved. Marty did his best to get a better picture of what Derek’s favourite comics were, and see if he could match him up with some series Derek hasn’t checked out yet, but Derek didn’t seem all that interested.

Maybe I had spent more time catching up with Marty than I thought? It couldn’t have been that long, and plus Marty stayed open an additional thirty minutes for us, to give us a little more time to browse.

Maybe Derek was just getting tired? That was a good possibility too… But this just felt… different.

I was so in my own head, that that had to be the only explanation for missing the distinct sound of a motorcycle pulling up my driveway. The sound of my door bell going off a few times was what ripped me back to reality, and got my ass off my living room couch to go investigate.

I didn’t even bother with checking the doorbell camera, but maybe I should’ve, because what I came face to face with was by far the most unexpected shit ever…

Derek was standing at my doorstep dripping water from every limb and crevice. His dark curly hair was a wet mess that looked like the wind had gelled back. His clothes clung to his smaller frame, making his tan colored shirt a bit see through. I could see his dark nipples through it now, and though I knew for a fact I was staring, considering Derek’s insane state, I think I had every right to.

“Derek… what the fuck …”

“Do you like me?” This shorter man asked suddenly. There was this look he had in his eyes… this was the most serious I think I had ever seen him.

I was speechless for a moment, still registering his question. “Well- I- um I mean, yeah you’re a great person and I value our friendsh-”

“ No ,“ Derek cut me off. My eyebrows raised some in surprise. This had to be the longest he had ever looked me directly in my eyes without looking away. Whatever it was I was feeling right now, I can guarantee you I’d never felt before. “Do you like me , like me. Like like me like me like me.”

“Derek… I don’t think I should-”

“ Please .“ He more or less whispered that last part, and now my heart was starting to beat a bit more uncontrollably. Hearing him beg was just…

I should’ve lied. I could’ve lied. Hell, I would’ve lied, if it wasn’t for the way Derek was looking at me. His cheeks were rosy in color, and I could see his body shaking slightly from the wet clothes and cold wind, but none of that seemed to concern him as he waited patiently for my reply.

And so I gave him the truth.

“ Yes ,“ that was almost a whisper, but the way Derek’s eyes widened, I knew he heard it. “But…” I continued, or at least I tried to.

Something else had cut my train of thought short completely, and it wasn’t Derek’s words.

Instead it was his lips… as he took an awkward step forward, got on the very tips of his toes, and kissed me.

••

20. So We’re Calling People Kitchen Equipment Now?

Alrighty I’m back m’loves

Thank you so much for the well wishes with the trip! It was just what I needed to get back into the swing of things

xoxo

Edit: Warning: Explicit Content (kinda sorta a bit. You be the judge lolol)

John

There were no words to describe what the hell I was feeling.

My eyes remained open in pure shock as Derek lowered himself slowly back onto his heels. He had done that, right? Like he had full on kissed me right? I was starting to believe I might’ve imagined it.

Derek didn’t say a single thing to me, he just looked up at me with his gorgeous hazel-green eyes. There was something there behind those eyes of his, but I couldn’t place what it was. He was looking at me expectantly, but I wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Or what the hell this man wanted anymore honestly.

I could feel himself pulling away the longer I took to do anything, and when I saw him go to take a step back, My body acted on impulse.

“Fuck it . “ I muttered, bunching some of his soaked shirt- I still wasn’t sure why it, nor he was absolutely drenched , and yanked him through the doorway towards me, till his lips were on mine again.

My foot half-assedly kicked the door closed behind us in an attempt to keep my very indoor cat from fleeing. Herold tried to plan an escape at least three times a week, like clockwork. I was so focused on Derek, all I could think was that if this pampered dickhead got out, maybe it was time for him to explore the outdoors.

Herold would figure it out, his diet was too specific to stay gone long. He was the very definition of knowing where home was.

Derek’s lips were freezing cold from the water, but the contrast to my warm ones made me unintentionally deepen the kiss, pushing Derek up against one of the walls in the corridor near my entrance table, as I tilted his head up further towards me.

What was meant to be an innocent kiss, quickly turned into anything but that when I heard Derek moan quietly against my lips, shuddering against my body as his hands grasped the sleeves of my shirt. That was when I decided that I wanted more. Fuck that, I needed more of him.

My right hand still had Derek’s shirt bunched up at his chest, and held it close to my own, but I let go to place that hand firmly on Derek’s lower back, before I whispered against his swelling lips “ jump up .“

He did as he was told, and I caught him with ease right as he wrapped his legs securely around me. He weighed much more with this soaked clothing on, but that wasn’t going to be a problem soon. I could feel him now, feel just how turned on he was getting by the growing bulge in his wet pants while my teeth pulled at his bottom lip.

I focused on getting him onto the small entrance table, which required me to clear everything else off it. My immediate reaction was just to swipe all contents off and onto the floor, which included the seven thousand dollar vase I had purchased in Italy three summers ago with Pierre. Something that definitely wasn’t hardwood floor proof.

I was already willing to cut my losses with that one, but when Derek’s shaky wet hands wrapped themselves around the back of my neck to hold himself up better, I was already erasing this vase from my memory and my bank account.

“Oh, shit -” Derek tried to break the kiss when he heard the shattering of the vase, but all I said was “ leave it .“ Before capturing his swollen bottom lip with my own again. The house itself could’ve been burning to the ground for all I gave a shit right now.

I felt Derek shudder again as I placed him on the now cleared table. My heart was beating so goddamn hard, for a split second I thought I might’ve actually been going through a legitimate health crisis, but that just made my kisses rougher. My hand moved from Derek’s lower back to his hips as I ground his lower half against mine. The short table gave me complete access to all of him.

If he hadn’t felt just how excited I was before, he sure as hell could feel my hard on now… and I could fully feel his. My stomach has doing its best to fight off all the butterflies that were moving in on me like an ambush, but I had no control over it. I hadn’t realized how badly I wanted him.

Every single part of Derek was turning me on. So much so, I swear I was no longer in control when I started palming him through his soaking pants. And that was when he started to really come undone.

“John-” he murmured breathlessly against my lips, but I wasn’t anywhere near my fill of him. I worked out a rhythm between my lips and hand, stroking him roughly through his pants whilst my lips continued their own gentle attack on his soft ones. They weren’t so cold anymore.

His breathes became even shorter and more labored. I could feel his hands tightening around me, and my heartbeat exceeding all recommended beats for minute as I heard him getting close.

The thought of him coming like this from just my touch… Yeah I was starting to lose the control I thought I had over this situation, but probably never actually did.

Maybe that was what took me by surprise when I felt my body suddenly being pushed back.

I was far too dazed and confused to fully register what the hell Derek had said before he legitimately bolted out of my fucking home. 

Like it was so sudden, I just stood there breathing heavily as I stared at the open front door and tried to figure out what even took place for the last few minutes.

I could’ve sworn I heard him say “ I have to go “ right before he disappeared through my doorway, but that just made me worry more than I had before he even kissed me.

Was he okay?

Had I hurt him?

Derek

Present time…

And this was how I found myself here, looking at lots of straight porn to try and figure out what was really going on with me. Even after one hot shower to rinse the pond water off, then two cold additional showers, my body still felt weird. Not a bad weird, just… weird.

Yes okay alright , I had kissed John first. I’ll take ownership of that.

But the way that he kissed me back? Yeah I wasn’t nearly as prepared for that. At all.

I glanced back down at my hard dick that twitched at the mere thought of that man. “You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” I questioned this wildly inconsistent fucker.

But then I thought about it… It wasn’t just my little guy, was it? I thought of the way Marty touched John… Yeah, no I didn’t like that at all. Or the way John laughed when he was with him.

Then I thought of the way John smiled at me from the restaurant window… and when he cleared that side table off before setting me back on it…

Yeah I liked that. I clearly liked that a lot.

“ Fuck! “ I grumbled into my pillow, closing the laptop right at the end of the gorgeous pornstars orgasm, before I flipped to my side. This was beyond my area of expertise, and just far too much for my peanut sized brain to comprehend on a Sunday night.

Luckily I knew someone who was far more versed on this subject, and he’d be back in the office first thing tomorrow.

“Unhand me, Derek!” Alex hissed. He stumbled into one of the shelves that held cleaning supplies as I let go of his shirt collar, then I backed up further into the closet myself.

“Sorry!” I muttered, closing the closet door and watching as the man I had been trying to get alone all day, tucked his shirt back in and straightened his tie. Since when did he start wearing ties? I wondered.

“Why, for the love of all fucking hell, did you just yank me into a janitors closet?” He asked. I could see he was biting back harsher words as he looked at me expectantly.

“I think I might be gay,” I blurted out.

Alex’s face contorted in about as much confusion as it would’ve if I had just told him I was running for president. Which wasn’t so out of left field honestly. If Donald Trump and Joe Exotic could do it, why couldn’t I?

“No you’re not,” he said seriously.

I was suprised about how serious he was being, but then again, this could’ve been due to the fact that I had intercepted Alex on the fifth floors left wing hallway, right after his third meeting today. He looked done with the day in general.

“No, seriously Alex,” I tried to explain, “I kissed John. And I’m pretty sure I liked it?- Oh wow I now understand what Katy Perry was trying to tell us.”

Alex went silent at that for what felt like an eternity. He was just looking at me.

He was silent for so long, I finally had to check in. “Whatchya thinking… buddy?” I asked slowly.

“ That my honeymoon was entirely too short ,“ he grumbled in return. “I leave for one fucking week… Derek listen, regardless of what you and John have done, that doesn’t make you gay.”

“It doesn’t?” I perked up a little, trying to understand Alex better. This was news to me.

“Don’t get all excited, it doesn’t make you straight either.” He added. I nodded my head slowly, still not really following. “It’s not either or, Derek. There’s a wide variety of sexualities to explore, and considering that up until literally a month ago, you were still watching porn on your company computer. So I wouldn’t say you’re gay. Maybe bisexual? Or pansexual?”

“Pan what now?” I asked.

“Pansexual.”

“I can identify as a pan?”

“No- dearfuckinggod , you can be pan. It means you’re sexually and/or romantically attracted to someone regardless of their sex or gender.”

“And my mum told me it was stupid to aspire to be a paper clip when I grew up.”

“That is stupid, Derek.”

I gave Alex a look. “First off I was inspired by Clippy, and you can blame Microsoft for that one. Who knew he was the father figure I needed at such a pivotal point in my life. Second, we’re out here calling people kitchen equipment, so my dreams of being a paper clip can’t be that far fetched.”

“No, Derek. Pan means all in Ancient Greek, that’s where the origin of the word comes from. And I just got through my third meeting about billboards, so forgive me if I choose to overlook the entire rest of this tangent. That point is, you can be a variety of things. I just don’t think you’re strictly gay. Tits still bring you joy right?”

I thought about that moment.

Thought of the almost naked women’s photo that was my shower curtain… a hot red head who otherwise would’ve been completely naked if it weren’t for the marijuana leaf covering her nipples and pussy. Yeah , I thought to myself. Her tits did still made me smile. “I guess you’re right.” I nodded.

“I usually am,” Alex replied. “Does this mean you’ll stop avoiding John?”

My eyebrows furrowed. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Derek, everyone from the first to the fifth floor knows that you’re avoiding that man like the plague today, including John himself.”

My eyes grew large at Alex’s words. “But how did you-”

“You literally jumped over the receptionists front desk to hide from him, when he needed to replace his door keycard with tech support on the first floor. You took the actual receptionist down with you too, remember that?” Alex reminded me.

Shit. Right.

“Jessica plans on billing you for literally every bit of the injuries she sustained from being yanked out of her office chair and tackled to the ground by the way, and you will pay it. She’s like seventy-five years old for fucks sake, Derek.”

I thought about that. The incident that happened first thing in the morning. I hadn’t meant to take Jessica down with me, I had just reacted as soon as I heard John and Christian’s laughter down at the other end of the offices.

I couldn’t, under any circumstances, face John after yesterday. Especially not when I hadn’t talked to Alex yet.

Unfortunately, Alex, Christian, John, and Brad were all tied up in meetings from like seven this morning- wayy before I even made it to the office, till now.

So I had spent much of this morning avoiding John at all costs, whilst figuring out how to kidnap Alex.

“You also tried hiding behind a tree on the third floor when John caught your eye through the open blinds in one of our conference meetings. Everyone in our meeting saw you, especially because John spent most of the meeting staring out that window watching you work. Just go fucking talk to him.”

Alex straightened his tie one last time before he opened the closet door back to the world, and stepped out. Clearly he was done being kidnapped.

Right , I nodded to myself, just go talk to him.

I stared out into the office space again through the doorway, watching as everyone kept themselves busy with work.

First thing tomorrow , I told myself stepping out. I’d talk to him first thing tomorrow.

I only made it about three steps away from the janitors closet before I felt myself being yanked back in by my dress shirt.

••

21. What Is With You And This Damn Closet?

I forgot to slap an Explicit Content Warning on the last chapter but I think it’s there now!

My bad y’all

Anywhooo double upload cause I love youu

xoxo

John

Derek was avoiding me. And it was starting to piss me off. Which wasn’t mixing well with my worry.

I tried to give him a call last night but he sent me to voicemail, and that had to be the first time he has ever missed my call. Intentionally at least.

I tried to meet him at his desk after my first meeting this morning, but that was a bust. Joan told me he was around the building running some errands.

I made excuse after excuse to wander to every floor, including replacing my fully functioning keycard, before a miracle from above came in the form of overbooked conference rooms on the fifth and fourth floor. I recommended we go to the third and use customer services smaller conference room instead since it would be just the four of us- Brad, Alex, Christian, and myself.

That landed us on the floor Derek worked on, which gave me direct view of his and Joan’s desks.

Sure enough, about ten minutes into our meeting, Derek finally made his way back to his desk. At first he didn’t notice us right across the hall, so I just watched as he went through his daily work. At some point he pulled his headset on to take a couple calls, but every few moments he would press a button on his headset and turn to Joan to say something.

Joan looked irritated, but she entertained the side conversations. When it was her turn to pull on her headset, Derek slipped his off and grabbed a stack of papers off his desk. He then moved around to walk to the printer that was located a bit closer to the conference room, and started scanning a few documents.

He got about halfway through the stack before finally looking up, and through the large floor to ceiling windows and completely glass door, he made eye contact with me.

First his face went pale white, then it got really really flushed. And very soon after that, Derek darted behind one of the decorative office trees near the printer… but I could still see his shoulders, and the stacks of papers he was holding.

He seemed to turn to someone, and when I glanced in that direction, Joan had her headset around her neck now and she was saying something to Derek. She looked insanely confused, which Derek didn’t help with when all he did was wave his hand dismissing her. It stuck out behind the tree hilariously.

That was probably what got the attention of Brad, Alex, and Christian… the goofy as shit smile on my face by how funny this ridiculous man was.

“What the fuck…” Christian muttered, rolling his chair up beside me to get a better look. Alex was right at his side doing the same, while Brad just straight up got out of his own chair and walked behind us to see for himself.

Joan was still saying something to Derek who was still behind a tree, while pointing aggressively at his desk. Derek was waving his hand nonsensically back to her. When her eyes finally gravitated away from Derek to the conference room behind her, she was met with stares from all of us.

Her annoyed featured softened to that of sheer embarrassment, before she offered us an awkward smile and an even more awkward wave.

We all slowly waved back.

“…Okay…” Christian was the first to interrupt this interruption. He slowly pushed Alex’s chair back to where he was sitting previously, before he scooted his own. “I can’t believe I’m going to be the one to say this, especially in a room full of all of you , but let’s get refocused here.”

I slowly pulled my gaze away from Derek, to my laptop screen. If Christian had to be the one to get us back on track, we were really in the end times.

And so the rest of the day went as such. Meetings after meetings, with Derek finding a way to disappear whenever I caught even a glimpse of him. That was why I thought the heavens had opened up when I was making my way to the fifth floors printer. The door up ahead opened, and I watch Alex walk out. He immediately bee-lined it back to his office near Christian’s on the far right, not bothering to look back my way.

Then I saw Derek follow him out seconds later. I thought he was going to turn to me, but he walked the other way too, and so I seized the opportunity.

It didn’t take a second to yank him back into the janitors closet, before I turned and closed the door behind us. I was blocking his exit since apparently we had a runner on our hands.

Derek looked startled at first, but when his gaze found mine, that fear turned into straight terror.

“ Fuck ,“ he whispered.

“You’re avoiding me.” I spoke directly, surprising even myself by how serious I sounded.

“I-I don’t recall-”

“Why are you avoiding me?” I didn’t give Derek the opportunity to lie to me.

Derek grew silent a moment. He turned his head slightly, breaking our eye contact.

“Did I hurt you?” I continued a bit softer, and that made Derek’s gaze snap up to me again.

“What? No no, god no , it was the opposite-” he stopped himself, but he didn’t look away again. Even with the dim lighting of the closet, I could see how red his face was getting. The opposite … I thought to myself. “I was- it was- it didn’t hurt- I was just going to…” Derek trailed off quietly. I couldn’t stop my lips from curling up into a slight smile.

“ Oh .“ Was all I said.

Derek looked away again.

“I just didn’t- I’ve never- well not with-” he started mumbling incoherently to himself. I think I heard kidnap Alex somewhere in there but I couldn’t be sure.

Instead, I took a small step forward, which completely silenced Derek and his gibberish.

“Do you like me?” I asked, taking a play from his own playbook. If I had to answer that question, then so did he.

Derek’s eyes found mine, but it took him a moment before he nodded “yes.”

“And I mean,” I took another step forward, watching as Derek took a sharp inhale, “Do you like me , like me.” I took one more step, drawing even closer to the shorter man. “Like like me like me like me…” he was just an arm length away now.

I kept our eyes locked, silently begging him not to look away this time. And he didn’t. Instead he whispered a small “yes” before he finally decided on something equally as enticing.

He closed the distance between us again, pushing himself up on the balls of his feet to kiss me.

And boy did I fucking lose it.

I almost immediately pushed him back against one of the cleaning supply shelves, moving against his soft lips with nothing but unholy intentions in mind, and making sure he understood every bit of them. His hands slipped into my hair, something I hesitated about for a nanosecond because I still had a good amount of the workday left… but when my teeth grazed his top lip and his fingers tightened their grip, I decided I once again could not find a fuck to give.

My hands were starting to explore the rest of him, tugging up his tucked in dress shirt so I could feel his bare skin. The smoothness of his toned chest… those dark taught nipples…

But before I could even get there, the janitors closet door swung open.

“Oh my god-”

I immediately pulled away from Derek, leaving him still leaning against the shelves as he seemed to lock eyes with the person who caught us.

Alex was holding a spray bottle that looked like it belonged somewhere on one of these shelves. He must’ve been returning it.

“What is with you and this damn closet?” He snapped at Derek.

The sheer awkwardness that was my next meeting with Alex, Christian, and Brad, almost had me walking out into a busy intersection.

My hair? A mess. My dick? Still fucking hard because my mind wouldn’t stop replaying that kiss. Alex’s gaze? Everywhere else but on me.

You know who’s gaze was directly on me?

Christian’s.

“Who is he?” He demanded.

“Christian, this is so off topic-” Brad started, but Christian raised his hand.

“I know Alex knows, but I also know Alex won’t tell me because he’s taken a liking to you John. So, who is it?”

I rolled my eyes at Christian, trying to downplay it. “It’s not that serious, Christian.”

“Okay so since we’re doing this now, let’s take a fifteen and regroup when we’re all on the same topic about next weeks training courses.” Brad announced, standing. “I’m going to go bother Joan. I’ll see you sorry excuses in fifteen.”

Alex stood up right after him. “Take me with you?” He more or less begged. Brad looked back at him.

“Fine. You can chat with me and Joan for five minutes then you gotta find something else do to. The next ten is reserved for just me and her.” Alex nodding immediately, following him out of the fifth floors conference room to head to the third floor.

“Who is it, you man whore!” Christian continued, insisting.

“Oh okay says the person who got with his own assistant,” I quipped back.

We both stared at each other, and eyebrow raised in solidarity.

“Are you fucking your assistant?” He asked.

“No- what? I don’t even have one.” I replied. That made Christian’s eyebrows furrow some.

“So you fired him and now you’re fucking him? I guess that’s one way to get around HR…”

This discussion had gone so off the rails so quick. “No it’s not that. I um- well I may have made a rather interesting impulsive decision.” I settled on.

“I highly doubt whatever you’ve done could shock me-”

“I kissed Derek-”

Christian started coughing abruptly, hitting his chest to clear himself up. “-but there is a first for everything. What the fuck do you mean you kissed Derek?”

I sighed. “I mean just that, Christian. I’m sure you’ve done this with Alex plenty, but when two people really like each other, they-”

“Oh you know what I meant,” he snapped. “Of all the people- I mean all of them. All eight fucking billion on this planet, and you choose… Derek?”

“Watch it.” I warned him, and Christian’s demeanor softened just a bit.

“I’m just… he’s just…” that was pretty much how he left it, because let’s be honest, any other words from Christian would’ve made this conversation get much more heated. “Well do you… like him?”

“I mean jeez, Christian, I kissed him so I’d fucking hope so.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “I’m just trying to get a better scope that’s all. He is my employee after all.”

I peered over at him. “If you can tell me how long he’s worked here, I’ll walk out of here and end things with him right now.”

Christian paused a moment. “Touché.”

And so the rest of the meetings went surprisingly well. Since it was Alex and Christian’s first day back, we stayed late to work. I was exhausted beyond belief because I barely got any sleep last night thanks to a certain someone.

And I’d be lying if I said I retained even half the day. Most of my thoughts were still in that janitors closet.

I didn’t see Derek the rest of the day which was fair. I think Alex catching us made things even more awkward, and I really didn’t know what he told Joan. If he told Joan. Something told me some kind of conversation was probably going to be had, and I wanted to give him some space to figure it out.

By the time I got home, I was ready to call it a day. Herold was pissed because I fed him late, but he still crawled into bed with me like he usually did, because he much like myself was an attention whore.

At least he knew I was the better of the two parents. Pierre once forgot to feed him for a whole day and a half.

“There you go.” I whispered, hearing him purr as he nestled his head on my chest.

Christian had bought dinner so it was a seamless transition from car to shower to bed, but the very last thing I did tonight was send a text to Derek. It read:

What would you and your tamagotchi like to eat next weekend?

••

22. Yes, We Will

Might be a double upload because I can’t sleep, but we shall see

Enjoy, lovelies!

xoxo

Derek

The events that had taken place over the last week called for a regroup at Tully’s Monday night.

Joan and I were a bit hesitant to recommend Tully’s because Alex was no longer drinking, but he assured us he’d be fine, and he surprisingly was.

He asked Tully for a Jack and Coke, hold the Jack. Tully looked at him weird a moment before pouring the soda, but as soon as Alex saw him start to unscrew the Jack Daniels cap, Alex stopped him.

“I’m serious,” he told Tully. Tully’s eyebrows raised at that.

“Never thought I’d see the day.” Our good friend and bartender replied, passing just the coke across the bar table to Alex. “I thought you were pulling my leg.”

Alex shook his head. “Nah I’m officially off the sweet nectar of the gods. Addiction has been running rampant in the family for too long, so I’m breaking generational curses or whatever the hell the kids are saying these days.”

That got Tully laughing, and he gave Alex a courtesy top off with more coke after he took his first sip.

I’m sure the coke was cheaper than the Jack Daniels anyways. Made me wonder how much money I’d be saving if I quit drinking…

And thus the group delved into our usual gossip. We started with Alex and how his honeymoon went.

“It was incredible, “ Alex gushed excitedly. “He made my dream a reality. Literally. He booked a last minute stay in Tahiti and Bora Bora, and while my dreamland fictional butler Jer Jer wasn’t there, we did have personal staff bringing round the clock virgin cocktails for the days we sat on the beach doing absolutely nothing. It was literally a dream. One that only included me and him- no offense. I love you guys but having that much alone time with my b- husband ,” Alex corrected himself, “was seriously needed.”

I smiled at that, remembering the dream Alex had told us about during one of our gossip meetings at work. He was trying to explain how he managed to get that gash on his forehead, and why Christian spent the night at his place.

Whenever Christian wasn’t torturing the innocent, he was obviously taking time to be a good husband to Alex, and that’s all I could asked for.

Alex kept his telling of events brief, clearly trying to tap dance over all the sexy sexy time I’m sure the two had. Joan, being Joan, pushed for at least some of the romantic and naughty details.

All I could do was have a little silent freak out as Alex dished out the deets, because I knew it was going to be my turn to share the events of the week soon… and I was nervous as all hell all of a sudden.

“Enough about my sex life, please, this prodding should be reserved for Derek.”

Great. Thanks, Alex.

“Oh?” Joan’s eyebrows raised as she turned to me. “So you and John, huh?”

There wasn’t enough liquor available to discuss what Alex walked in on today… or what he might’ve walked in on had he been just a few minutes late. Not enough liquor in the world… but I still asked Tully to pour me another round.

“Listen,” I threw the shot back like it was water, “I really don’t want to get into this…”

“You’re not getting off that easy,” Joan replied. “Did you finally talk to him?”

“From what I saw, I think they are well past the stage of talking.” Alex interjected, which made Joan turn to him.

“From what you saw?” She questioned, then looked back at me.

“We may or may not have kissed. Again.” I clarified. Joan’s lips curled up into the most devilish grin.

“You don’t say.”

I signaled to Tully to pour me another. He gave me a half a shot with a look that told me to watch my drinking tonight. I think he still had PTSD from Alex’s heavily intoxicated nights. And it looked like he just replaced the glasses Alex tried to juggle but broke.

“It’s… I don’t know what it is, but I like it- and him.” I did one terrible job of explaining.

“Well at least you’re not claiming to be fully gay. I’ve cleared far too many viruses from straight porn websites off your company computer, to have you insult my intelligence like that.”

By the end of our night at Tully’s, I was positive the gang was more confused than before about what John and I were. Hell, I was too. For the first time ever, I wasn’t as straightforward as I usually was with my sexual encounters.

Lol. Straight forward.

Anyways, this wasn’t like the time I fingered a girl at the movies, or got a blow job in the bathroom of an arcade- something I don’t recommend because I got the ick from the dirty floors immediately after coming in that poor woman’s mouth.

This was… different.

That was only further confirmed when I drunkenly made it home and into bed, before getting a text from John.

What would you and your tamagotchi like to eat next weekend?

The largest smile spread across my lips at that. If I wasn’t laying on my back, I just know my feet would have been kicking in the air like a damn teenager. I honestly forgot all about our plans this coming weekend because of how this mess of a week had started.

I texted back:

What’s your favourite dish to make?

I was about to set my phone down, ready to call it a night because John surely had to be asleep by now. It was a little past midnight… but another text came through seconds later.

Ratatouille

That made my already massive smile widen. It reminded me of the animated movie I convinced the gang to watch after The Gala.

In the movie, they were tearing that dish up, so naturally I responded with:

Yes. Absolutely yes. One hundred percent yes.

Then my drunk ass added a smiley face after. As soon as I sent it, I immediately regretted it. I was doing too much , I thought, but the last text John sent that night put me at ease… and damn near put me in a hospital from the irregular heart palpitations.

Perfect. It’s a date.

:)

I thought there was no possible way I was going to survive a full week of work, working in the same building as John, but I didn’t actually see him a whole lot throughout the week. Or like at all.

“He’s caught up in off site meetings with his board members and Christian.” Alex explained with irritation when I tried to look casually around the fifth floor for the nine thousandth time. “Speaking of which, did you and Joan also get a weird email from Christian?”

I nodded my head. Christian sent something out this morning about us meeting this evening in his office, but the context of the meeting wasn’t included. I had no intentions of staying late for work, but alas I also had no fucking choice when it came to the Ivanovs.

Eight million people on this planet, and Alex chose that guy… of all the gays. Just incredible.

“What’s it all about?” I asked Alex, watching as he finished clearing up space on my company laptop that was making it lag.

I assured him numerous times it wasn’t a virus, but he still had the same attitude he usually had when it was a virus, so I assumed this work week was kicking everyone’s ass.

Alex shrugged. “No idea. With Christian though, it could be anything.”

And Alex was right. Because once six rolled around and I found myself in Christian’s office across from him and Alex, at I sat next to Joan and Brad, I realized this meeting could be about damn near anything.

The last person to walk through Christian’s office took me completely by surprise.

“I just spent all fucking day with you Christian, this meeting better have importance or I’m billing you separately for it,” was the first thing John said as he entered the office. Once he looked past Alex and Christian, to glance across the desk at us three, his eyes immediately found mine.

The smile that spread across his lips had me fighting for oxygen. I couldn’t leave him hanging though, so with my now very heated face, I flashed him a quick smile in return before putting my attention back on Alex and Christian.

I heard a chair being dragged across the shallow carpet before John positioned it right next to me, and took a seat.

Great , I thought. Now I was going to focus on nothing but how good he smelled. Fucking perfect.

Christian crouched down to pull something out from under his desk, before retrieving a megaphone. Alex looked down at it, then him.

“There’s no way that’s necessary,” he was quick to say.

Christian looked up at him, before beckoning for Alex to bend down a bit. “ Baby we talked about this ,“ I heard the great Ivanov whine like a child, as he whispered “support me in public, question me in private.”

Alex’s eyebrows furrowed as he whispered back “ now when has that ever been our relationship? “

Christian paused a moment.

“Considering we’re all sitting across a desk from you two and can hear you both clear as day, I highly doubt the megaphone is necessary,” Brad spoke.

“Fair enough.” Christian replied irritably before setting the thing on his desk. “Now you’re all probably wondering why I gathered you here tonight.”

“With an email as descriptive as that one, no fucking shit,” I heard John grumble. A smile broke out on my face as I glanced over at him. His eyes caught mine and he sent me a wink before focusing on Christian again.

Fucking breathe, Derek. In and out. In and out. Fuck, he smelt great.

“Well,” Christian continued, choosing to ignore John, “it has come to my attention- well, HR’s attention-”

“Do you guys really have an HR department?” John looked past me to ask Brad, who slowly nodded.

“Not much of one, but it exists. And trust me, I’m just as surprised as you are.”

Christian cleared his throat, ending the side conversation. “Our department has brought up some troubling concerns about the workplace relationships here. There was an… incident reported Monday afternoon.”

My face immediately got red at Christian’s words, right as they registered.

Fuck.

Shit .

There’s no way.

No like really, there was actually no way . Alex was the only one I thought who saw us, and the irony of him reporting it would’ve been too wild. Plus he’d generally just never do that. Everyone knew the HR department was the opps.

John’s face looked to be getting a bit rosy, and he glanced over at me for just a fraction of a second before Christian continued.

“This incident means a meeting needs to take place for me to lay down some new expectations. From now on, all relationships must be kept professional while in office. No quickies in random places, like the back stairwell or the janitors closet.” Christian directed that last part at John and myself.

“Well that seems a bit homophobic,” I muttered.

Christian and Alex just stared at me a moment.

“I’m not even going to entertain that one.” Christian shook his head slowly. “Now, if you’d like to know who actually ruined it for everyone, look no further than Brad.”

…And we all did just that.

John and I leaned forward to turn to Brad and Joan next to us. Brad’s face was turning bright red at rapid speeds, spreading across to the tips of his ears down to his neck. Joan had suddenly become interested in Christian’s bookshelf on her right.

Well.

This was not where I thought this was going at all.

“Now, given the situation with Brad, I’m going to let this very

very

detailed report suddenly disappear.“ Christian took a piece of paper that was on his desk and tore it up. “However, I expect each and every one of you to show some workplace etiquette while on site. You all have homes and bedrooms you can go to, act like it. Put a cap on the horniness, you pubescent teenagers.”

John turned back to Christian. “And as for you and Alex?” He questioned.

“I’m the CEO, and he’s my husband. I don’t have to explain myself to any of you.”

Alex rolled his eyes at Christian’s response, before turning to John. “We, too, will be exercising some workplace etiquette.”

“No we won’t,” Christian cut in.

“Yes we will,” Alex quipped back.

“No. We. Won’t ,” Christian shook his head.

“Yes, we will .” Alex insisted, giving Christian a look.

“We’ll discuss this at home.” Christian replied quickly before turning back to us. “Anyways that’s besides the point. It wasn’t me and Alex who made it to HR.”

“Speaking of which, what situation could make the most holy unadulterated Brad commit such a sinful devilish act?” John directed that question over at Brad.

I was glad someone in the room had the guts to speak to the Ivanov’s like this, cause I’ll tell ya this much, it wasn’t about to be me. I had zero desire to question either man’s sex lives when they both made in a day what I made in a year.

Not my tax bracket, not my problem.

“I don’t have the time to get into that tonight,” Brad replied quickly. “But I’m preparing to leave for business relations next month… in Russia.”

••

23. Go. The Fuck. HOME.

Basically technically kinda sorta a double upload because my

last

chapter

went up at like 2am

this morning

I got a flat and need to tow my car in to get it replaced

today

, but there’s no carriers available right now so… here’s another chapter!

Who knows, might be a triple upload cause Progressive is playing in my fucking face with their roadside assistance…

And I

guess I

love that for y’all

lol

Enjoy!

xoxo

John

Russia?

Well, that explained some of his weirdness.

And why he’d been just about attached at the hip to Joan these last few weeks.

We had so much to catch up on, I thought to myself… but Brad was the first to stand, signaling this meeting was officially over.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, Joan and I have dinner plans.”

Joan looked over at Brad as she stood. “We do?”

“Yes.” Brad nodded. “It was supposed to be a surprise, but now that we’ve got even less time to get ready for it, I guess the cats out of the bag. Anyways, it’s always a pleasure being inconvenienced by you Christian, thank you.”

Christian eyes peered over at his brother, before yanking open and pulling out a tape roll from his desk’s top drawer. “You seem to have forgotten who got us here, bRaD . Should I tape this document together and share with the class just what was witnessed and documented in that back stairwell?”

“No!” Joan shot out quickly. “Nope, no no- message received loud and clear Christian, thank you. Let’s go , Brad.” Joan ushered them out of the office quickly before both brothers really got into it.

“If they get to leave, I’m leaving too.” Derek told Alex and Christian.

“Same,” I agreed, getting up myself. “If you’re all done with this lecture dad, I have a child of my own that needs to be fed, unless I want to come back to shredded furniture.” I explained to Christian and Alex.

Derek also stood, grumbling to himself “ this OT better be double time ,“ then turned to leave the office.

Before he could make it fully down the hall towards the elevators, I stopped him. “Hold up a second,” I spoke, reaching out to grab his arm and pull him back towards me.

He stumbled a bit as he turned, but I caught him with ease, wrapping my arms around him. Once my eyes found his, a smile spread slowly across my lips. I was holding him against me by his waist, and god did it bring back some fond memories. I’d been dying to touch him again.

Before I could say anything else, we heard a loud pitched sound, then Christian’s voice bellowed down the hall through the megaphone.

“Now what the fuck did we literally

just

meet about? I know you two are taking the fucking piss.“

I let go of Derek reluctantly, before flipping Christian off behind me. He stood at the doorway to his office, megaphone in hand, watching us like a hawk.

“I uh-” I turned back to Derek, caught off guard by that sudden obnoxious interruption. “I just wanted to confirm for this weekend- Saturday. I could come over around six so we have a decent amount of time to cook?”

Derek nodded up at me, those blushed cheeks deepening in color. Fuck , I wanted to pull him in for a kiss, but I’m pretty sure Christian’s next course of action was going to be hurling that megaphone at the back of my head.

“Saturday at six,” he confirmed.

“Can I walk you to your car?” I asked, not skipping a beat. My voice was a bit rougher now, and his face only got redder as he slowly nodded again.

Ivanov Corp’s parking garage confused the complete hell out of me.

Even during the peak of the work day, most people still parked in the lot outside. Made me wonder if folks even knew this existed, which was crazy to me personally considering my financial advisor and my Director of Human Services were currently in an all out feud over a parking spot.

All these empty spots felt like neglected prime real estate.

This meant Derek and myself both got a pretty decent spot near the entrance today. And any other day I would’ve been grateful for that, but tonight I wanted just a few moments of actual privacy with him.

Derek must’ve felt that too, because he wasn’t nearly as surprised when I spun him around gently, pushing him up against drivers side of his car to tip his head up for better access to those lips.

He dropped his book bag on the concrete ground immediately. I know it had only been two days since I last saw him, but fuck it it felt like weeks. The satisfied moan I let out against his lips was followed up by his own, and I felt his hands clench tight on the front of my fitted work shirt, pulling me down towards him even harder as his soft lips moved with the same urgency as mine.

I slipped a leg between his, feeling just how hard he was against my thigh. I pushed up against him harder, and the sound that escaped past his lips made me forget entirely where I was.

It was that same familiar high pitch screech that echoed through the once empty parking garage that reminded me, and Christian’s voice rang out seconds later.

“I just know you’re fucking joking. Get. In. Your. Cars. And. Go. The

Fuck

. HOME.“

I jumped back from Derek, pulling away immediately. Jesus , Christian had scared the shit out of me. Derek didn’t even bother to look over in Christian’s direction. He just stared up at me breathlessly, his lips plump and swollen, before slowly smiling.

Fuck , my already rapid beating heart just kicked it up like ten notches.

I wanted to reach out and trace the outlines of his perfect facial features, that looked even more sharp against this dim underground lighting. Run my hands through his complete mess of a hairstyle…

“Goodnight,” Derek whispered to me

“Goodnight,” I whispered back.

“Go. Home!” Christian spoke through the megaphone.

I watched as Derek picked up his book bag. Then turned to open and get into his car. That was when I pulled my gaze away from him to glare at Christian.

“Go-”

I shut him up by flipping him off again, yelling “I’m going I’m going!” His way before walking around to the drivers side of my own vehicle and getting in. Derek pulled his car out of the garage soon after, but I sat in mine for a few minutes, watching him take off.

It was getting a bit scary how I was starting to feel about him. These last two days were bullshit with my work schedule, and now Christian was implementing these stupid rules that I promise you he himself was going to break by tomorrow morning at the latest if he hadn’t already, which meant I was going to get even less moments with Derek at work.

Goddamn it, Brad.

Fuck! I readjusted my hard on through my trousers to make sitting in the low convertible more comfortable. Unfortunately I didn’t have much of a choice. It was Christian’s office. He could technically do whatever the hell he wanted.

Then that made me think of my office. In NYC. And Don.

Right .

I hadn’t told him jack shit yet. Not about the first or second kiss… but he was bound to find out soon enough, and lord knows I was not going to hear the end of it when he did.

And there was still that mess with Pierre.

After Derek kissed me Sunday evening, I texted Pierre and told him I’d reschedule a call with him back sometime this week. I still hadn’t done that.

He needed information to access some of our old accounts that he managed then kinda forgot about. I didn’t want to take the call, but most of that money was his anyways, and I just wanted to be rid of this man all together.

By the time I got home, Herold was downright pissed. I knew instantly that it was going to take him time to fully forgive me for how rocky his eating schedule had been these last few weeks, but the treat I gave him after his dinner was a step in the right direction.

I had half the mind to just drop him off at Christian’s place one of these nights to let him deal with this cats attitude problem since these late nights were his doing, but Nathaniel didn’t deserve that. Nathaniel had already raised one feral animal.

I made something quick for my dinner, which was fried broccoli and mushrooms. The healthy meal made me think back to Derek agreeing on ratatouille for dinner Saturday.

That made me smile. I couldn’t remember anyone actually asked me what I liked to cook. Especially not Pierre.

But then that smile faltered slightly when I thought about this a moment.

Did Derek…

Well, did Derek actually know what was in ratatouille?

I couldn’t help but think he might’ve agreed to it because he saw food critic Anton Ego take that first bite in the animated film, and the world around him changed…

That was unfortunately a thing that Derek would very much do.

Derek

Thursday and Friday were just brutal. Besides not seeing John at all, Alex and I couldn’t even speak with Joan much about the whole Russia thing. Everyone had mandatory overtime on their schedule which meant by the time any of us got home, there wasn’t much time to get ahold of her. She was spending most of her evenings with Brad, which I’m glad I now understood and of course I fully supported.

I even forgave Brad for being the reason Christian was banning all office romances. Honestly Brad deserved to be able to do the old Devils Tango with Joan anywhere he wanted leading up to him leaving.

Joan told me she’d find time to fill Alex and I in on Sunday, so it was just a waiting game at this point with that topic of conversation.

Alex stopped by to play some video games Friday night which was awesome. It had been a while since we got together to hang out, so it felt just like old times. He wasn’t fully submerged into the world of RPG’s, FPS’s, and MMORPG’s, but everyone loved some super smash bros, and potentially a freshly rolled joint.

I wondered if Alex ever did find what I stashed in Hamlet on his shelf. With how many books he had, there was a good chance he hadn’t.

He didn’t partake in any smoking Friday night, insisting he still had to make it home to get some work done, but he ended up crashing on my couch anyways.

I didn’t mind. It actually made me kinda really miss these nights, so I decided that once Joan’s life settled a bit for her, I’d see if we could all get together to make some pies again.

Alex was definitely getting used to the early mornings with Christian. He was up before I was, and managed to head out before my alarm even went off. He shot me text telling me thanks for letting him crash, but I wouldn’t see it till later that morning.

I, for one, had a nightmare, which made my sleep throughout the night just utter complete trash.

I had dreamt that all the Cold Stone Creamery locations closed down.

The panic sweats I broke out in when I woke up in the middle of the night, only reflected half the terror I felt. After that, I could barely fall sleep again from fear I’d go back to that horrible world. A world with no Cold Stone was not a world worth living in.

This meant that most of my day Saturday was a literal struggle. John was coming at six tonight which meant I had about eight hours to clean my home top to bottom, and hide my extensive sports illustrated collection.

Most would say this is a suitable amount of hours for any average individual to achieve a great deal.

The unfortunate reality was that, with my home, it sorta wasn’t.

I had started drawing a new series of comics, which meant I was reading far more comics than I usually did to gain inspiration for the art style, and that left most of my collection scattered all throughout my home in chaos.

I also needed to air out the smell of that good ol ganja. Something told me John was progressive especially with these new weed legalization laws starting to come out, but I still wanted to be a courteous and considerate host.

Next, it was the kitchen. Seeing the incredible state of John’s kitchen made me want to burn mine to the ground and start over, but we didn’t have time. Instead I spent a good amount of time scrubbing everything, doing the dishes, wiping down the counter tops, et cetera et cetera. By the time I was done, I was sure this was best that could be done with the space I was working with.

The bathroom was last, and was actually pretty fine. It was the one space I liked to keep the most clean because nothing grossed me out more than taking a long refreshing shower, only to step out into filth. No thank you.

By the time I got to all the major areas in my apartment, I was surprised to see it was only going on three in the afternoon. I still had three solid hours before John would arrive, and this was the pivotal moment in the day where I made one of the worst mistakes sleep deprived Derek could’ve ever made.

I decided to take a quick nap.

It was the feeling of my phone vibrating against the side of my face that woke me up. At first I thought the vibrations was an alarm, but after ignored the fist few, another distinct vibration came through indicating a text.

I pulled the screen out in front of me to check who this could possibly be, and I felt every part of my body go into complete shock.

So, a few things…

1 . It was now 6:23pm

2 . I had two missed calls from John

3 . The text he just sent said he’s be up to my apartment door in three minutes.

So I had… three minutes to rip myself from these sheets and get it together.

And lord, if there was ever a time where my multitasking skills had failed me, it was right now with me in this still somewhat asleep state.

I managed to shove a toothpaste coated toothbrush into my mouth, and pull some sweatpants over the black briefs I had slept in, but a knock on my front door came before I could put a shirt on. Or even remember to.

The first thing I saw when I swung that door back on its hinges, was Mr. Terry himself in a jet black sleek dress shirt and black dress pants. He wasn’t wearing a tie, but he was wearing a fancy looking watch that elevated the entire fit, and the first few buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned revealing some of his smooth toned chest. His golden blonde hair was every bit as perfect as it always was, styled impeccably to fit his look, and god those eyes. Those fucking

light green

eyes.

In each of his hands was two cloth bags filled to capacity with groceries, and when his gaze finally made his way up my own body to find mine, he looked completely taken back.

I could only imagine the batshit physical state I was currently in to catch this handsome man this off guard.

••

24. I Don’t Think That’s Necessary

I wrote this chapter, and by the end it was like 3100 words…

I don’t feel like reading through all that for errors right now, so we’re splitting this up with a double upload today!

(Second upload coming later after work)

Enjoy, m’lovelies!

xoxo

John

Well.

It’s official.

I was right.

Derek most definitely didn’t know what ratatouille actually was, what was in it, or how it was made.

“Well, I just- I honestly think I just didn’t register it was vegetables… Allll vegetables…” Derek trailed off, looking over past me at my own set up chopping board, and stack of veggies.

My eyes struggled to keep their gaze on his hands as Derek set the remaining washed produce down on the clean granite countertop in front of us.

They instead found their way back to his bare chest.

His skin taking in the warm overhead light from his kitchen, and exposing down to his waistline. The low hung joggers worn as the only piece of clothing he had on besides those briefs. He hadn’t tied the drawstrings of the sweatpants tight enough so they hung low on his slender waist. Very fucking low. I had the clearest of views to his well toned abs leading to…

“Like what the hell is this?” Derek asked, turning to me suddenly. My eyes snapped back up to his, then to what he was holding in his hand. “Why are cucumbers going in this?”

I focused more on the vegetable, and less on my sinful thought.“That’s a zucchini,” I explained. Derek’s face went flush from my words, but then he frowned, his face scrunching up in disgust as he looked back at the vegetable.

I just found it insanely cute. I was finding every damn thing about being here tonight with him, and him , beyond words fucking cute.

“So you’re telling me there are people who still make bread with this thing? A vegetable ? Are they okay? No really, has anyone checked in on the zucchini bread lovers lately cause I’m genuinely concerned. It’s giving prehistoric hunter and gatherer era.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. This night was giving my mind and body literal whiplash. “So are you saying you wouldn’t give my zucchini bread a try?”

Derek’s lips parted as if he was going to say something, then he stopped himself. “Well I mean- well, with you it’s-” Derek paused a second. “Well I… Well I would like to think you too are a man with exceptional refined taste, therefore I’d be willing to try anything you suggest… at least once.”

Exceptional refined taste , I thought, letting my eyes dip from his, to the tongue that slid across part of his lower lip. He had gotten that so right.

Jesus, John.

Dinner .

“I’ll see if I can’t change your mind about a few things.” I spoke a little lower, unable to restrain most of the roughness in my voice now, even if I did finally force myself to turn back to these fucking vegetables.

I thought about the request I had made earlier.

The one right after Derek swung open that front door.

The one that was currently kicking my concentration’s ass.

First off, I wasn’t expecting him to be shirtless.

I almost dropped the grocery bags in my hand as my eyes quickly moved from Derek’s cozy pineapple house shoes to his Star Wars sweat pants, but when I reached the waistband of those barely tied sweats, I saw the band of his briefs. The only part which was slightly covering those well defined v lines leading to so much more.

His body was- goddamn . Not what I was expecting for a competitive hot dog eating champ. When my eyes finally forced themselves away from his lean stomach, exposed shoulders, toned arms, and sharp collarbone… I found his again.

He had a toothbrush in his mouth, accompanied by an intense bit of bed hair and sleep lines across the entire left side of his face. Even through the drowsiness, his cheeks were crimson.

“I may have taken a nap.” He mumbled, struggling to articulate with the toothbrush still in his mouth. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my lips as he awkwardly stepped aside to let me in.

“That’s okay.” I assure him, slipping off my work shoes by the doorway before I searched for, and found a good spot to set down the groceries. His apartment immediately opened up to his kitchen and living room from his front door, so I decided on one of the kitchen counters in my direct line of sight.

Once the bags were settled, and I actually got a look around, my smile widened.

Derek’s home was actually really nice. He kept this industrial dark oak theme through it, with large sofas filling the living room that were perched in front of an impressively massive tv. To the right of that revealed something even more interesting about him.

Just how much of a geek he really was. Up until now, I couldn’t really gauge it.

He had a gazillion different relics and books filed and on display, but his place had this bit of sophistication to it too. Like for instance, there was a bookcase nestled in the farthest right corner of his living room, and it held what looked like detailed replicas of castles and certain monsters from video games, but they were all housed and displayed in what I guessed was all clear acrylic. Or maybe all glass. Either way it was gorgeous.

I started to look around more, taking in everything from the warm industrial string lights hung across the ceiling of his kitchen space, to the floor lamps that brought mood lighting to his living area. There were framed movie posters he had, lined all the way down the hall on both sides of the walls, leading to the rest of the home.

I couldn’t see them all but I noticed a few easily, like Interstellar, and The Godfather.

“I’m going to spit this out and grab a shirt.” Derek said to me, momentarily breaking the full on analysis I was doing of his downright awesome humble abode.

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” I replied without much thought, before Derek could disappear down his dimly lit corridor. I was too busy trying to figure out what some of the video games were under his tv stand. He turned back to me.

“The toothpaste?” He asked, pointing to his mouth.

I chuckled at that. “No,” I shook my head slightly, as I looked over to offer this beautiful mess of a man, a grin. “The shirt.”

His already flushed face went full on red, but he nodded slowly before turning back towards what I presumed was the bathroom.

And this was how I found myself here, cutting vegetables alongside Derek as I struggled between wanting to touch him, and wanting him to try this dish. The way I saw it, only one of those things could come first if I wanted to get to the other as well… and touching him wasn’t it.

So far we had only made it to washing the produce, and I was already falling apart at the seams. Both from literally every bit of Derek’s body, and from this man’s concerning lack of knowledge when it came to vegetables.

The look on his face when he noticed all the produce, made it certain this was going to be a challenge.

But I liked that.

I wanted Derek’s eyes to roll back when he took his first bite. I wanted it to be as earth shattering as when critic Anton Ego took his. I wanted to change more of Derek’s ideology about things that were good for him.

That meant I couldn’t be distracted tonight. Or burn anything. If I were to so much as kiss him right now, dinner would be an absolute lost cause. We weren’t in the office anymore. I had this man entirely to myself, and I was barely holding on to my self control as is.

“What did you think was in the dish exactly?” I continued, hoping this conversation would further distract me.

“I just thought: oh! look at that fun colored pasta! “

I full on laughed at that, turning to this shirtless man as he struggled to hold his first vegetable down on his chopping board. Fuck , I wasn’t sure whether I was going to die from the horniness, or from the genuine happiness I felt around him.

This was… fun . Not to say I didn’t find cooking enjoyable, but cooking with Derek brought an aspect of fun to it I didn’t think anyone could.

Then again, Derek wasn’t just anyone.

“Now how attached are we to these weird bananas?”

Derek help up a new vegetable for us to examine.

“Those are yellow squash,” I clarified again. “And according to the recipe, we’re very attached.”

His face scrunched up in disgust again. “Please explain to me why anyone would name anything edible, squash?” Derek countered. I paused a minute, pondering that.

“Okay yeah no, you got me there. That is a bit weird.”

Derek turned to me with a triumphant smile, and I almost cut my finger while chopping.

Because of how fast I was able to get my group of veggies chopped, when I looked over to Derek’s side again, I could see he was clearly struggling. The few pieces he had cut were looking… questionable.

“Manual labor over an eggplant is crazy,” he muttered to himself. I seriously couldn’t stop grinning around this man.

“Here,” I suggested, drying my hands briefly on the hanging kitchen towel before I grabbed one of his uncut veggies and moved it to my cleared chopping board. “Watch, you want to keep them as thin as you can.” I showed Derek slowly.

It would’ve been easier if we had a slicer. I thought Derek might’ve had one, but he was quick to reply with “a vegetable slicer in this home, is like housing the enemies useless artillery. I do, however, have two different cheese graters in the top shelf over there.”

Right , I nodded. Of course . I should’ve expected nothing less really.

So it was here that we found ourselves… doing this manually.

“I know I said I wanted to help, but now I’m thinking that was a terrible idea.” Derek grumbled. I looked over at him again, my smile faltering. Derek had a bit of genuine disappointment etched into his voice this time.

And that was when I decided to really push the limits of my self control to its almost breaking point. I set my knife down and approached Derek on his side of the kitchen, walking behind him to wrap my arms around both sides of his until I felt his upper back against my chest. I could smell him now clear as day, the clean scent of his shampoo mixed into those tossed locks, the slight spice in his body wash against his skin.

Derek immediately dropped his knife at the contact, but I picked it up instead.

My left hand gently rested on his, which was holding the zucchini like you’d hold a literal stick.

“Here,” I whispered this time, keeping as safe a distance as I could from his left ear. I still felt him shiver against me, and my eyes closed for just a moment. The food, John . For the love of god, the food . “Curl your thumb back like this.” I instructed, pushing his thumb in. “You don’t want to lose the little guy.”

Derek’s hands were shaking slightly now, but he seemed focused as he did what he was told. Once he had a good grip, I lifted my head up, brushing myself against him slightly before bending down on his right side.

“Now on this side, hold you knife like this, fingers tucked here.” I instructed as I moved his slender fingers gently. “Make sure you’ve got a good amount of space here,” I pointed between the blade and vegetable. Derek nodded against me. “Then slice like this.” I guided his way through the zucchini once… then twice… then three times… by the fourth, I slowly pulled my hands away to let him continue on his own.

“Oh, well I’ll be damned!” he grinned ear to ear, clearing the zucchini out in no time with all ten fingers still attached- thank god. I knew the grin I had plastered on my own face by this time in the night, had to be outrageous. But I couldn’t help it.

“Those look fantastic!” I nodded, forcing myself back to my own chopping board to collect all our prepped vegetables. Derek looked over at me, and he held my gaze for longer than I anticipated, before his face turned back to conceal some of that redness.

God- fucking hell, I was like mush around this man.

••

25. Not Even At Museums?

I’m just a tad bit late (12 hrs lol)

But here’s that second part! Yeah clocking in at 2200 words, this needed its own chapter

xoxo

John

The next thing I worked on prepping was the herb seasoning glaze, then the tomato base sauce, both of which I was able to whip up pretty quickly.

Derek insisted he take on the most important role in the kitchen- head chef supervisor. A role that I was positive didn’t exist in the culinary world, but tonight I made an exception. So he watched on with more weariness as I chopped up white onion, bell peppers, 4 cloves of garlic, and basil for the base.

“It’ll be good, I promise.” I assured him over my shoulder from my spot at the stove. I could feel his gaze on me intensify. The incredible aroma from the sauce filled Derek’s kitchen quickly as I poured the crushed tomatoes into the sautéed veggies, but Derek was still biting his lower lip nervously while he leant against the counter a few feet away from the heat.

“So there’s really no pasta involved here?” He asked, taking a few steps forward till he was at my side and peering over into the sauce pot. This was the third time he had asked, but I didn’t mind. This last time sounded more as an actually inquiry, with much less sadness, so we were making progress.

“No, but the veggies will leave you fooled.” That was kinda a lie, however I’m glad I rolled with it cause I saw Derek relax more besides me.

My finger quickly swiped a bit of the sauce off the wooden ladle to try it, and my eyes almost immediately closed once those flavors hit my tastebuds.

This was by far the best sauce I had ever made for this dish.

I swiped a bit more off the ladle, then turned to Derek. He was already eyeing the sauce on my finger. “Open.” I told him.

He stared at my finger for just a fraction of a second, before his lips parted and he leaned forward to suck it off.

I watched every last bit of his movements like I’d be tested on this later . His eyes drifted closed a moment, and I felt the small hum of satisfaction around my finger. It felt like that vibration ran through my entire body, before he finally pulled away slightly and my finger fell past his lips.

“That’s… that’s…” his eyes were still closed, but a smile spread across those now slightly raw lips. “That makes me want to try your zucchini… bread. Zucchini bread.”

I felt the shift in energy between us when his lids slowly lifted and he looked back up at me.

I meant to pull my hand away, but I couldn’t. Instead, that same finger started to lightly trail the surface of his lips.

With his bare chest, I could see the rise and fall of his breathing easily. How quickly his breath hitched when his eyes caught mine. I knew there was absolutely nothing innocent about the look I was giving him right now.

His hand slowly wrapped around mine, before he boldly brought my fingers down from his lips, to his chin… then across his jawline… and down to his neck. He leant into the touch ever so slightly.

Jesus fucking Christ . I know Christian folks would say that the lord is always testing you, but this felt like a devils seduction.

“You’re gunna make me burn this sauce.” I murmured to him, just an arms length away. His lids were growing heavier at my touch.

“Y-You just- you haven’t really t-touched me…” he trailed off so quietly, I wasn’t sure whether he actually meant to say those words aloud. But they were absolutely heard. I felt myself get unimaginably hard below the belt, the very thing I was trying to avoid all evening.

“I have never wanted to touch something more in my entire life, I can assure you of that.”

“Not even at museums?” He asked softly, still looking up at me. That made me chuckle, but it came out a bit raspy. I was working overtime to make it back to this damn sauce.

“Not even at museums,” I assured him. “The goal is to feed you first.”

“H-How many steps are left?” He continued his line of questioning, but his voice sounded strained. Probably as strained as my own.

“We’ll lay the sauce down in the oven safe dish I brought, then layer the vegetables and place them on top kinda like dominoes. Last thing is spreading the herb seasoning I was making earlier while the onions sautéed, over the layered veggies.”

Derek nodded, letting his gaze drop from my eyes to my lips.

“After that,” I spoke a little lower, taking just the smallest step closer to him. “There’s a baking time.”

“Oh?” Derek whispered quietly, dropping his voice lower than mine.

“Forty five minutes,” I continued.

Derek’s face got even more flushed. “ Oh. “ He struggled to get that bit out.

“And another twenty minutes uncovered.” My fingers were gently tracing patterns against the skin of his neck, and I watched closely as his Adam’s Apple moved with each hard swallow.

Derek’s lids almost closed a moment, before they slowly opened more and he looked back up at me. “W-Well then, we better get to it. Can’t let a sauce that incredible go to waste.”

Derek had no fucking idea.

If he had brought my hand any lower, I would’ve had to order us Chinese later.

The sizzling of the pot was what forced me to reluctantly pull away, but the disappointment in Derek’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed.

Derek

I was fucking dying.

And I mean dying.

Now I have been cockblocked by other people. I have been blue balled by other people. I have taken my fair share of cold showers.

However , I have never, never wanted someone to touch me quite like tonight. I mean willing to get on the floor and start the begging sort of want.

John was a complete natural in the kitchen. The way he memorized where everything was so quickly, blew my socks off. I’ve lived in this place for years and even I didn’t remember where I put everything. I just blindly opened cabinets and drawers most of the time till I found what I was looking for.

Then I’d place it back there when I was done.

Then it would be wiped from my memory right after that, and the viscous cycle would continue.

While he worked, he kept one of the white kitchen towel tossed over his shoulder, and I couldn’t understand why I found that so unbelievably attractive.

The all black attire made him look even more incredible. He hadn’t broken a sweat even though he was in a long sleeve dress shirt and dress pants, and was chopping fast like a madman, yet there I was, sweating profusely over cutting a roma tomato. And I was the shirtless one.

Speaking of which, whatever clothing I still had on, this man was undressing with his eyes. I could feel his gaze on me, and yet he hadn’t even reached for me yet.

The closest he had got to me all night was when he showed me how to chop. And I was so focused on not losing a finger, I barely caught his hard on as he brushed it against my lower back. If it wasn’t for the fact that John was giving me actual instructions in my ear, and I was trying hard to follow them, my mind would’ve been absolute mush after that.

But alas that moment felt like seconds, then he was back at his chopping board again .

By the time he moved to making the sauce, I just decided to watch. He kept adding more and more healthy shit to the pot, which made me shift weight back and forth between my feet nervously. Was there at least some Parmesan in this? Cream? Butter?

Apparently not.

I shifted closer to John, deciding to further investigate when I started to smell something.

Something really good.

He assured me it was turning out great, before he tried a bit off the wooden spoon thingy. I watched him bring his fingers to his lips, then moments later he hummed in approval.

I want to try some of that…

I swear I hadn’t said it out loud, so the only logical conclusion was that John was a mind reader, because he swiped a little bit more sauce off the spoon thingy, turned to me, and just said “Open.”

And it was like my mind started to register this request… or rather demand, but my body happy leant forward to try it before my mind could finish.

And bitch?

My god. My good lord.

I have never. Never . In all my years, tasted a tomato base sauce that good. Was this what that one critic in Ratatouille felt? Was this my come to Christ moment? What in the hell-

“That’s… that’s…” my eyes had closed somewhere along the way, and I couldn’t help but smile as I said “that makes me want to try your zucchini.” My dumbass almost left it at that before remembering “bread. Zucchini bread.” I clarified.

I’d reckon John really started all this by the way he looked at me after I opened my eyes again. That was absolutely it for me. He looked like he was about to turn the stove off.

But yes, I do hold some accountability by reaching up to slowly move his hand from my lips, elsewhere. I was just growing a bit impatient, and I had to chop so much healthy shit, I felt like just a bit more touching wouldn’t kill anyone.

My breathing had got a little heavier with everywhere he touched. His hands were larger but really gentle , “You’re gunna make me burn this sauce.” He murmured to me. I wasn’t even thinking straight anymore after that.

“Y-You just- you haven’t really t-touched me…” i mindlessly muttered. That was definitely meant to be thought, not said. I didn’t even register I said it until John replied.

“I have never wanted to touch something more in my entire life, I can assure you of that.”

“Not even at museums?” My last few brain cells managed to conjure up. That made him chuckle, which in turn just made me harder. His hands were cool against my warm skin.

“Not even at museums,” he replied. “I just want to feed you first.”

Those were the sweetest words anyone has ever said to me.

“H-How many steps are left?” I asked, trying to get to the bottom of this complicated dish.

He mentioned something about layering things on other things in a dish. And I think a herb something was going on top of all the layers. I had made the mistake of looking from his eyes to his lips as he explained the recipe, and so I zoned out a bit. It just kept getting fancier. And his lips made me want to kiss them.

“After that,” he spoke a little lower, taking a small step towards me. That got my attention again immediately. “There’s a baking time.”

“Oh?” I whispered quietly. This was a part I was very interested in.

“Forty five minutes.”

I think I was starting to like this dish.

“ Oh .“ My voice didn’t sound like my own anymore. Especially not when John’s fingers had started to have a mind of their own, massaging me gently.

“And another twenty minutes uncovered.”

I swallowed. 65 minutes of bake time. Yeah this dish might just be her . “W-Well then, we better get to it. Can’t let a sauce that incredible go to waste.”

And this was how I found myself here, having John run through the pattern we’d be layering and laying the vegetables in. He let me lick the wooden spoon after he was done pouring the sauce into the thick glass dish, which made up for some of this manual labor.

Who am I kidding, it took every bone in me not to sneak a spoonful from the oven safe dish while John wasn’t looking. But I told myself to trust him, and the process.

Once everything was layered, it was actually a really beautiful colorful meal. John poured this liquid herb mix glaze thing over it, before cutting and neatly using the foil to cover it.

I hadn’t even noticed he got the oven preheated before we started. This was usually when I realized I forgot to do that, and had to wait those awkward fifteen minutes for it to heat up.

I also let John place it in the oven, because one of my greatest fears ever is the burning hot oven door snapping back up on my arms. That gets me every fucking time.

He didn’t seem the slightest bit bothered by it. Or maybe it was because he had longer arms, that could be it too. I watched from my spot on the arm rest of the living room couch as John pushed a whole bunch of buttons on my oven panel, before I finally realized towards the end that he was setting a timer.

I had no idea ovens even did that. Like it makes sense, but wow.

He turned back towards me, but stopped to check his watch for a second. I heard him mutter “ fucking finally ,“ as he continued and made it to the couches ledge in just three long strides. His hand reached out, tilting my chin further up to him before he bent down and kissed me.

••

26. Life Is Short. Eat Dessert First

This and the next chapter are pretty much just smut, fyi lol

Totally okay to skip these parts for the baddies that aren’t into that, I promise the important bits will be further explained after the smut

And as always, for the smut lovers who took up arms in the comments of the last chapter because of the cliffhanger, this one’s for y’all

Put the pitchforks and Molotovs down babes, I gotchuuu

It was the fast before the feast ;) and we all know the food hits different when you’re hungry

Enjoy lovelies!

Warning: Explicit Content

Derek

John pushed me back onto that couch almost immediately, barely breaking the kiss and rather choosing to deepen it as soon as I got situated with him on top of me. He had very easily moved us all the way to the other end of this massive couch, which just turned me on even more.

I felt his teeth tug on my bottom lip before his tongue slipped past, and all I could think about was how good he tasted. Like herbs and spices. I gave in with absolutely no hesitation.

My hands slipped into his hair, furthering my obsession with how gelled it looked, but how soft it actually was. And I wasn’t sure what hair products he used, but the fresh scent stayed on my finger tips for hours. I fucking loved it.

He was rested in between both my legs, but there was still some space between us- space I wasn’t particularly fond about, so I found my legs wrapping themselves around his waist instinctively, before tightening their hold and pulling him down more. John groaned against my lips when I felt his now very hard cock brush up against my ass.

“F-Fuck Derek.” He whispered to me, finally breaking the kiss but only for a second. His right arm fit perfect in the curve of my neck against the couch cushion, with his elbow pushed into the leather to hold himself up.

That other arm though? My god. He pulled it away from my back to start slowly feeling up my side, his fingers massaging my skin as they went. It sent shivers through me, pulling a soft unexpected moan from my lips against John’s. His touch was something else. I felt his hand move down to my hip and grip it tight, then he shifted up slightly and ground both our lower half’s together. It was inexplicable how good that felt.

John groaned against me louder, kissing me harder. I felt his teeth nip lightly at my bottom lip before his tongue went out to soothe it. The groan I made when he did that repeatedly was just downright shameful. I could feel myself starting to lose it completely.

I moved my shaky hands from his hair to the front of his shirt, terrified I was going to fuck up his hairstyle completely, but John whispered against me “ place them back “ and I did exactly as I was told.

I felt his soft kisses move from my lips… to my cheek…then down my jawline, till I felt them connect with my neck. My fingers gripped his hair tighter which caused John to release a raspy moan into the crook of my neck. The vibration made my entire body shiver against him.

My heart had sailed off the edge of the world eons ago. I wondered if John could feel it pulsing against my neck. When he starting to suck the delicate skin there harder, I felt my briefs growing damp with pre-cum.

“S-Shit-” I whispered, unable to think of any words that could accurately express how good this felt. His lips continued down, stopping every few kisses to pull my skin in again, and the harder he sucked, the more jolts of pleasure I felt through me.

That was probably why I I couldn’t help but look down when I felt him stop at my chest. His hand reached into his back pocket to pull his phone out. I thought I heard vibrations like someone was calling, and the look on John’s face as he read the screen, panting and all, went from pleasure to irritation quick.

He stared at the phone for another second or two before I saw him hold the power button, and place it on the floor near the couch.

He had like five different emotions cross his face all at once but then an easy going smile replaced it. “Sorry about that.” He whispered roughly close to my chest, lowering himself back down. “Just work.” He started to kiss my chest again but my next horrible, terrible, god awful choice of words- word rather, made him still.

“Pierre?” I spoke without thinking. Without thinking at all. John’s eye caught mine as he looked back up from my body.

What the actual fuck is fucking wrong with you, Derek?

Now? You wanted to mention this

now

?

His eyebrows first furrowed deep, a clear distinct look of bewilderment, before something made them settle. He placed another kiss on my bare chest which made my heartbeat fucking skyrocket. My hands were still tangled in his hair, but when I started to remove them, his free hand held me there.

“You heard me in the comic book store, huh.” When he spoke, his lips grazed my sensitive skin sending more shivers through me. He placed a first kisses towards one of my nipples, and all I could do was watch. His gorgeous eyes never left mine.

I shakily nodded, unsure of how to feel right now. John didn’t stop his kisses. I couldn’t tell whether he was mad I even mentioned that guy at a time like this, but he had to be… right?

“I didn’t mean to lie…” his voice was hoarse now. When I felt him kiss one of my nipples, a broken moan escaped my lips. John’s eyes just seemed to darken. “I just didn’t want to ruin our day.”

John’s tongue flicked out against my nipple and I felt my hips buckle slightly. My eyes shut tight a moment at the contact, unsure of how to maintain composure when John didn’t plan on stopping at all. Yet he still planned on explaining this to me now , dear god . “He was looking for logins to old accounts. Don’s taking care of it.”

I tried to nod again, but John’s teeth grazed the small dark bud and my back arched slightly off the couch. Jesus fucking Christ.

“But Derek?” He mumbled with one of my nipples still in his mouth. His free hand moved up my side before he pinched my other. My hands only tightened their grip on his hair. Could they even go any tighter? I was breathing so damn heavy right now, it felt like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the world to satisfy my lungs.

“Y-Y-Yes-” I barely croaked out, looking back at John whose gaze was so goddamn intense, I was already starting to feel that familiar build up from getting close. My body felt like I was baking in a desert.

“Let’s table this conversation for later,” I felt him slowly kiss his way back to the middle of my chest. The quick rise and fall of it was embarrassing, but I didn’t have any control how I reacted to him anymore. God, his voice . “I have about thirty more minutes of uninterrupted time… and I’d like to focus that solely on you.”

We both watched as my chest rose and fell with speeds that should’ve been concerning. All I could do was nod my head yes. If I gripped John’s hair any tighter, I’d start pulling hairs.

“Besides,” his soft kisses then continued lower to my stomach. I didn’t even know where to start with how goddamn good this felt. Every place he kissed, my body reacted to. “The only name I want to hear fall past your lips right now…” he murmured, his words almost lost against my skin as he got lower and lower. I felt every word he spoke. “Is mine .”

His light green eyes caught mine again and at this point I was doing everything in my power not to cum.

John

I could barely keep my head on straight anymore.

Not like I was doing great with that at any point in this night.

Sure, the Pierre comment had taken me back, It had thrown me off completely actually. I had to genuinely process how Derek knew that… but something else stopped me from pulling away from him. It was the fact that Derek knew I lied at the book store, but still trusted me enough to let me handle it.

He’d been sitting on this information for almost a week, and for Derek, that was kinda a record.

I should’ve just told him who it was when Pierre called, but I genuinely didn’t want to ruin our dat- day , ruin our day. I promised myself I’d clear this up tonight with him while we ate, but right now, I wanted to taste something else.

Watching Derek unravel as I slowly kissed damn near every part of his exposed skin, was literally pushing me to my final limits. “J-John-” Derek struggled to get through, his moans had become more uncontrollable. More defined. Far less restricted . I dragged my tongue along the indents of his v lines and Derek squirmed below me again. I loved how my name sounded when he moaned it.

His cheeks were beyond flushed, with his hands still tangled tightly in my hair. And I fucking loved how that felt, how every moan, groan, and sharp inhale was accompanied by a tight squeeze that made Derek’s eyes shut temporarily. It was my direct line to feel how he felt, it made me feel the most connected to him.

Maybe Ratatouille was onto something with the hair pulling.

My eyes were on nothing else but him. I followed every twitch, every shudder, soaking in how he particularly bit down on his own lip every time I grazed my teeth at the skin near the band of his briefs.

Once I got low enough, I could feel just how hard Derek was. His sweats were slightly damp from the liquid leaking beneath them and it made me even more impatient.

“J-John,I-” Derek whispered between breathes. “I-I’ve never- not with-”

I watched him force his heavy lids open a second to catch my gaze again. He did his best to lift his upper body, leaning back on his elbows for support so he could see more of me.

“It’s okay,” I murmured against that sensitive skin. “But you have to let me know if it’s not okay. If you’re not okay.” I told him seriously, finally separating my lips from his body fully I hadn’t done that since the phone call, and that already felt like ages ago. “Understood?” I asked Derek, not touching him at all as I asked this.

He slowly nodded to me. “Y-Yes. Yes.”

My lips curled up into a smile, which he sheepishly returned.

Fuck. Just fuck.

I pushed myself up further, freeing both hands to pull Derek’s loose joggers off. I wanted to rip them off him, but decided that this slowdown would be a good time for him to make sure this wasn’t too much. I wanted more of him, but only if he wanted that too of course.

My hands hesitated at his briefs, and as if Derek could tell I was pausing to make absolutely sure, he gave me a small nod and another smile.

I will admit, the briefs practically flew off after that.

It was in the interest of time, sue me.

Once I caught a glimpse of all of Derek, I felt my heart just dip out entirely. His body was absolutely perfect. He was toned, something I really couldn’t believe after seeing his somewhat of a breakdown tonight over vegetables. The love bites and marks I left on him made my already damn near aching cock, swell even further with need.

I hadn’t touched myself once, because tonight was supposed to be focused on Derek. I didn’t want to scare him with all the gay sex stuff just yet, I thought he’d probably feel less nervous if I just did the same things his previous partners have done…

But better, of course.

His stomach was already slick with more from his leaking tip, and I was just working on burning this image in memory before I moved.

Derek was watching me like a hawk. He was still barely holding himself up, leaning back on his elbows.

He watched me lower my head between his legs, seeing them quiver on either side of me through my peripheral when I slowly licked the skin around his cock.

Derek’s head would tip back, and eyes would shut, but it was all momentarily. Very soon after, he’d find my gaze again. He’d watch on with such intent on every movement I made. He was driving me crazy looking at me like that, his eyelids low. My eyes just raked over everything, from those v lines to that even messier hair, then down to his relatively broad shoulders and toned arms. God, he was gorgeous .

Once I took Derek in my mouth completely and so unexpectedly, the sound Derek made almost sent me to the upper room. “S-Shit- John, oh f-fuck-”

Derek tried to grab at the the leather cushion sides, but my free hand grabbed one of his arms and brought his hand to my hair again. Derek’s other hand followed in suit, but he was far more gentle than I was expecting. Well kinda.

His hands gripped on for dear life, but he completely let me control the speed in which I went. He wasn’t pulling me back or pushing my head down. He wanted to feel my tempo, and when I took more of him in my mouth, I heard him moan “fuck- J-John I can’t, I’m- I-”

••

27. Tomorrow Is Simply A Theory

Not me instigating shit with another cliffhanger on the last chapter lol

I’m willing to accept that I am the problem

But of course, you know I wouldn’t leave you all waiting

too

long

Enjoy, lovelies!

xoxo

Warning: Explicit Content

John

I couldn’t help but watch Derek as he squirmed underneath me. He was doing his best to keep his hips still and planted, but I could feel them buckle upward when my hand grabbed his cock at the base, before my tongue slid upward towards his leaking tip.

“J-John…” he whispered roughly. Those eyes were still shut tight, and judging by his death grip on my hair, he was close. I swear I’d never grow tired of hearing my name fall past his lips like that. So desperately.

Derek couldn’t even maintain the eye contact anymore. He was off his elbows now, laying back completely on the couch with his head tilted up. I watched his Adam’s Apple bop up and down with each swallow. Followed the trail of marks I left from his neck down his body, towards where I was now between his legs.

My tongue swirled around his tip before taking him in my mouth again, and I felt Derek slightly spasm before a serious of incoherent words and moans were released. “I-I…” He didn’t saying anything else, instead I felt his dick twitch, and his now very shaky hands tighten their grip, before warm liquid unexpectedly filled my mouth.

And I swear, the look on Derek’s face as he quickly pulled his hands away to prop up on his elbows again, made the crotch of my dress pants damn near painfully tight. I swear I could’ve cum from that alone.

His eyes were dazed, those lids barely open, with his swollen lips slightly parted. I could feel him shuddering below me as I slowly released him from my mouth and swallowed.

It felt like the angel and devil on my shoulder were sorting their shit out with hands. The angel, the one telling me not to push Derek , was using his halo as an origami throwing weapon, while the devil, the one telling me to ask for more , was counter attacking with his pitchfork.

When Derek’s eyes found mine again, his cheeks were beet fucking red. His skin took on a shimmery glow from the light sweat, making him look even more delectable. I saw his chest rise and fall with his short breathes that fell past his lips. I slowly kissed my way back up him, making sure my lips lingered on certain areas that he was more sensitive to. He shuddered from it.

It didn’t take long before I felt his dick harden again, against my own. He let himself fall back into the cushion, off his elbows, but never broke eye contact with me.

Instead, I felt something else. It was his hands now on my belt, doing their best to figure out the buckle. His slight struggle gave me these last few seconds to really think about this. Should we go further? Derek clearly hadn’t done anything with another guy, and I wasn’t trying to make him feel pressured to do more. I was pretty content with doing the giving tonight.

But as soon as I decided that maybe that blow job was enough for tonight, Derek somehow managed to get the latch undone, then my top button of the dress pants, and last but not least, my zipper.

His hand slipped past the waistband of my briefs unexpectedly, before those fingers wrapped around my bare cock. I immediately dipped my head low, bringing my lips just centimeters apart from his.

“ Derek …“ I whispered. Or rather warned.

I felt his hand squeeze me lightly before he slowly started to move, stroking me from my base to my tip. I closed the distance between our lips, trying to muffle the groan fighting it’s way past my lips. It was barely any use, and Derek used this moment to pick up his pace. I could feel the hesitancy, like he wasn’t one hundred percent sure what he was doing, but I’m sure my heavier breathes were some indication that this felt absolutely fucking incredible.

My lips moved more gently against Derek’s swollen ones, but it was him this time who seemed to deepen it, pulling me harder against him when his free hand tangled itself in my hair once more…

But I never got see where he was going to take this… because the timer for the oven started going off again, making us both jump.

I pulled away unintentionally, not wanting to leave this couch or this man… but that loud beeping just kept going, and as I looked back between the oven and Derek, I sighed in annoyance.

“One second. Don’t move.” I told him, getting up. He nodded to me, his eyes slowly lowering to my unbuckled and unzipped pants, which showed the tip of my now throbbing dick peaking out through the elastic band.

That just made me move quicker. So I could wrap this up and set the timer for an additional twenty minutes of uninterrupted time.

The timer was easy to reset. I then grabbed the oven mittens Derek had hanging from one of the utensil drawers, pulled the oven door down, and slid the cozy quilted things on. They were actually really cute, a pale shade of blue with cake slices all over them.

I bent down and grabbed the hot dish out, placing it on a cool burner on Derek’s stove, before I closed the oven and removed the mitts again.

“The suspense is killing me.” Derek whispered somewhere slightly behind me. I jumped, not even noticing he had snuck up and was now taking a peak around me.

“I told you to wait for me.” I scolded him while my fingers began lifting up on the foil cover.

“It smelt too good. I had to look for myself.” He replied. He was in nothing but briefs as he shimmied closer, but I forced myself to focus on removing the rest of the foil seamlessly.

Then Derek placed his hand on my upper arm when he leant forward even more to get a better look. That was when I cracked, pulling his hand way from me to yank him forward in front of me. If he wanted to see, he might as well have had a front row seat. His hands fell comfortably to his sides while I reached around them to continue removing the foil.

The smell of Derek’s hair filled my senses once again, and this time, I made sure there was no space between me and his back. “How’s it looking?” I asked, close to his left ear. I felt him lean further into me.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he replied. And I agreed, it was. Ratatouille had always been so physically pleasing to look at. The colors of all the sliced vegetables made for a statement of a dish. “Can I try some?” He asked.

“We still have an additional 20 minutes of cook time with it uncovered,” I reached over to pull Derek’s utensil drawer out, then handed him a fork, “but I don’t see the harm in trying a bit.”

I watched as Derek carefully pierced a couple veggies, making sure to gather up a bit of the sauce underneath before he brought the full fork to his mouth. After that first chew, he leant back even further into me with a small hum slipping past his lips.

None of this was doing any good for my still rock hard dick that was pressed against his lower back, resting in the arch above his ass.

“Goddamn it! This shit is good.” He declared, making me smile. “Alrightalrightalright, I’ve had my fill, do what needs to be done with her.” As soon as he shuffled out of my embrace, I felt the loss of contact immediately. Even though I was still fully clothed, I could feel the warmth of his bare skin through the thin rich fabric.

But I forced myself to set the timer again, put those mitts back on, and place the dish back in the oven.

Derek’s phone starting ring from its place on the dining room table while I was pushing the dish back on the top rack of the oven, so he moved out of the kitchen to answer it.

“Hello?” I heard him say into the line just as I closed the oven door again. “Oh shit! Sorry, I mean yes, just a moment.” I was turned around now, leaning against the kitchen counter watching as this man starting running around his living room looking for something. He seemed to find it in a folder filed into one of his bookshelves. He had a total of three placed against the back wall of his living room, completely filled with books and comics.

I couldn’t wait to check out his collection tonight.

“Yes I’ve got the list here… yep… yeah I’m ready when you are.” Derek sat back on the couch, looking over the piece of paper in his hand, and saying the words “yep” or “that’s right” every few seconds.

My interest only grew as the phone call progressed. When he finally said goodbye and hung up, the first words out of my mouth were “who was that?”

Derek glanced up from the piece of paper he now set on his coffee table, to look over at me.I pushed myself away from the counter and made my way towards him.

“It was In Tune Gaming. I bought some parts this week to upgrade my gaming PC, but because I put in a first order, cancelled it, then put in the correct order with some additional parts, they were calling to confirm on the list of items I needed before they shipped Monday.” Derek explained, point to the paper he set down.

I took a seat beside him on the couch, before I picked up the paper myself. Sure enough it was a list of a bunch of parts I didn’t recognize, besides a new graphics card.

“Alex helped me figure out what I needed for the upgrade months ago, but life’s been kinda busy for him so I’ve been hesitant to jump on this project. Well the new Arkham game comes out in two months and and I need these upgrades done before that.”

I continued down the list of parts, my eyes growing wide at the price of this stuff.

I had a gaming PC myself, but Marty had actually put it together for me. I just gave him my credit card and told him to get whatever he needed. Sure, Don mentioned while reconciling said credit card, that I’d spent a lot on the build, but I wasn’t paying much attention to him then.

The thing about Don was, he’d bitch at you about fucking something up, but then he’d fix it. He’d always fix it. So I just assumed he did whatever financial sorcery he usually does, and made the books balance.

“There’s no way Christian’s paying you enough to afford all this.” I blurted out without thinking. “Sorry- I didn’t mean- I mean, your finances aren’t my business-” I started, but Derek cut me off.

“Oh no, he sure isn’t.” His hearty laugh put me at ease almost immediately. “I’m just good at saving. Not saving for emergencies though, saving for the things I want to buy. Joan says this is a terrible outlook on life for long term existing, but I genuinely believe tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Eat dessert first.”

My smile only grew.

Joan was right about the long term thing… but it was a breath of fresh air to be around someone who lived so in the moment, tomorrow was practically just a theory to him.

“I now just have to figure out how to put all that together myself. I’d ask Alex, but until the partnership launch is straightened out, I think he’s going to be really busy.” Derek shifted a little closer to my end of the couch, looking down at the same order sheet I was.

I had almost forgotten what were were doing just minutes ago. The love bites down his lean torso reminded me again.

“And plus, Christian’s been spending more nights at Alex’s, I’m a bit hesitant to leave my expensive ass computer at his place. I’d trust Alex with every last thing in my home, but Christian? Yeah no. I saw what he did to that laptop, that bloody psychopath… “ Derek whispered that last part to himself, but I full on laughed.

Ah, the infamous laptop. Brad had told me about that. The little outburst Christian had after the Larington deal went south.

I didn’t blame Derek one bit.

“I dated this chick who worked at Best Buy in the Geek Squad department, so I might see if she doesn’t hate me anymore and knows what the hell to do, otherwise-”

“I could help.” I insisted without thinking. What the fuck, John?

Derek’s eyes grew wide at that, before his lips curled up into a smile. “Are you serious? That would be amazing!”

God, his smiles were going to end me.

“Sure thing. I’ve put one or two gaming PC’s together in my lifetime.” I lied.

That count was settled comfortably at 0.

Derek’s face lit up immediately from my words.

“You’re so fucking amazing.” He said, shifting even closer now. My eyes were fixated on his genuine beaming smile. Those lips. Those soft, perfect-

The sound of the twenty minute timer started going off again, making Derek and I jump slightly once more. It broke whatever concentration I had, and whatever sexual tension was just starting to build again.

“Looks like dinners ready.” I told Derek with a smile, before standing up to switch off that obnoxious noise.

••

28. Is This Me?

Double upload cause it’s the weekend, babyyy

(This also means I hastily edited this, so my apologies for any errors m’loves)

xoxo

Warning: Explicit Content

(kinda sorta a bit, maybe. You be the judge lol)

Derek

John sat across from me at my glass circular dining room table. He was watching on as I scarfed down my third serving of this greatness.

I was fucking in love. With the ratatouille I mean.

This stuff was- wow. Just wow.

John had since finished his plate. He did some light clean up in the kitchen, even though I insisted I could take care of it later, but he simply looked at me and asked whether the dishes in the dish washer were clean or dirty.

Sensing defeat, I replied with “dirty.”

It was safe to say he was much quicker at cleaning than I was, because he was done and seated again in no time.

“So,” John said, drawing my gaze up from my plate to his, “I promised I’d explain the Pierre thing.”

I slowly nodded, completely forgetting all about that. I had been… distracted. My thoughts went back to just half an hour ago, when John was in between my legs…

I felt myself getting hard again, as my gaze cast back down to my plate.

Then I thought about just how hard John was in my hand…. The sounds he made when I started moving up and down him… Dear god I was praying that we weren’t done for the night.

“We had some joint savings accounts together.” He explained. I looked up, forcing myself to concentrate on his words, but then my gaze fell to his lips and my mind went elsewhere momentarily. “He just wants to access some of that money to invest with, or whatever. He’s a CFO for an up and coming tech company, I think he wants to do some business investments, which is fine. He’s good at what he does and most of the money is his.”

John relaxed back in his seat. He had to unbutton another button while he was cleaning because the oven had made the place warm, so I could see more of that insanely chiseled chest. It had also made my home smell so goddamn comforting. I wanted this aroma to stay forever.

“Anyways, Don’s taking care of it.” John added.

I slowly nodded, taking another bite of the ratatouille. Well that made sense. I felt kinda stupid for getting so worked up about it.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, forcing myself to chew and swallow first. “Sorry for prying.”

“Once again, If you thought that was prying, you’d be surprised what some people feel comfortable asking,” he replied.

That made me feel warm. I was glad I hadn’t completely ruined whatever moment we had tonight by literally saying his exes name during it. That had to make like top ten fails ever during an intimate moment.

“If you have any questions, just ask and I promise to be honest moving forward.”

“Thank you,” I spoke, feeling my heartbeat quicken as he looked at me with such intensity again, I completely forgot I was still trying to finish this plate.

My arm awkwardly bumping the ceramic on the table reminded me, and that was when I decided I probably wouldn’t make it through this meal if he continued to sit across from me looking at me like that. I glanced up past John to my bookshelves in my living room.

“Did you want to check out some of my comic book collection? We’ve got a lot of the same issues and series, but there’s a few hidden gems there.”

John’s lips curled up into a grin. “I thought you’d never ask.”

He didn’t waste time making it over to the endless rows of books, and it felt really nice knowing I wouldn’t have to go over there and start explaining the shelving system, because he had the same one.

Not even Alex fully understand it yet, and we’d been trading comic book issues for as long as we’ve known each other. Books in general really.

“Have I mentioned how incredibly attractive it is that you have your collection like this?” He spoke over his should to me. That made me feel all the things. I fully chewed and swallowed before I could respond.

“Y-You haven’t, but I feel the same about you-your collection.”

John looked back, giving me a toothy grin before continuing his journey through my shelves. Every so often, he would pull an issue out and scan through it. The easy going smile playing on his lips made it hard to focus on the food too. This had to be the longest I’ve ever take to clear a plate.

John was currently looking through my entire Bone collection, which was one of my favourite graphic novel series as a kid. Watching his smile grow as he flipped through the first issue was damn near cardiac inducing.

“These are awesome,” he told me, still focusing on the book. I had to be grinning like an idiot at this point, cause it took literal mind power to force myself to chew and swallow the next bite.

“It’s one of my favourite series,” I told him honestly. That made him pull his gaze away from the pages, to look over at me, still smiling. God, he was so goddamn beautiful. Like it really made no sense.

“Do you mind me borrowing some?” He asked.

I shook my head. “Go for it. Just be gentle, those ones made it from my early childhood.”

John’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Jeez, these look new. I would’ve never guessed. You weren’t kidding when you said my comic books were in good hands.”

Alright that one almost killed me with the utter sweetness of it. “T-Thank you,” I struggled through.

John turned back towards the comic books, before he gently pulled the first two books in the Bones series out, and placed them neatly on the coffee table behind him. Then he continued on, reading the spine of each book that had one, then sliding the issue out some to see the covers for the ones that didn’t.

And I worked hard to focus on finishing this plate.

At least John had zipped his dress pants up , I thought to myself. Honestly, him still having clothes on was a real buzzkill, but I would’ve never gotten to the ratatouille if he was even remotely exposed.

My line of sight were on the last few bites I had left, and I was so focused on those, I didn’t notice when John moved from my bookshelf to the couch. It was actually only after I completely cleared my third serving, did I finally look up to see John sitting down, reading something. He likely completely immersed.

My sight zeroed in on the blank front page of the book he was holding. I recognized the stitch binding of the pages instantly, they were my work. The thing that troubled me was the number written on the front page. It made me drop my fork suddenly, hearing it rattle against the empty plate. Then I was beelining my way over to John before my brain could register my feet were moving.

“Those should not have- oh god

• okay, listen. Okay so-“

“Is this me?” John asked, pointing to the top left panel of one of the comic pages. I could literally feel my face turning as red as it has possible ever turned, when I confirmed exactly what comic book John was reading.

See, now this was why I needed to take my time with cleaning.

During my frenzy to get everything back on the shelves, I stuck a few of my own unfinished works at the end of the third row so I could file them before John got here. I even stuck them out a bit on the shelf so I remembered.

Of course, with that nap, I didn’t have any time to give the home a good once over. I didn’t have time to do anything really.

“Okay so-” I started, trying my hand at explaining this again. “It- like- well, yes so technically … yes, but also… no.” I tried to grab at the comic, but John just held it further out of my reach.

“Yes, and no?” He questioned, clearly confused, but also somewhat amused.

“Okay so like- so like yes , the character is based off you yes- but like also not you

• it’s a completely different storyline I’m playing around with.“

This had to be top five worst moments of my life right now. It had to top the whole Pierre thing. There was a date on that issue. A date on all of them actually, and and this one was made just after the Hawaii trip.

“What’s the storyline?” He continued, pushing the comic book out even further away from me when I tried to grab at it again.

“I-It’s like a detective storyline, takes place in New York City. I’ve been reading a lot of Agatha Christie this year and felt inspired to write these.”

“These?” John’s eyebrow arched. A smile was playing at his lips now. “There’s more?”

I turned back to my bookshelf, noticing a few more of those blank covered comics sticking out from others on the third shelf. When I turned back to John, he was looking at the bookshelf as well.

John started to stand, so I did the only thing I could think of in that moment…

I tried to hold him down.

“Now wait wait wait one minute-” I climbed on top of John, managing to get the comic book out of his hand and onto the floor, but before I could reach down for it, I felt arms wrap around me, and I was suddenly being pulled up into a straddling position. John’s arms were securely on my waist; the soft material of his shirt felt incredible against my bare skin as he forced me to look at him. We were almost at eye level now, just a few inches away from each other.

“You made comics about me,” his voice was low as he spoke. I could tell the energy between us had shifted once again.

“T-They’re not about you , I just told you the plot.” I was quick to reply with in almost a whisper. “Unless you really are a detective from New York City. In that case, if you smell marijuana anywhere in this house, it’s cause I have a pot scented candle.”

The look in John’s literal perfect light green eyes when he smiled at that, made my body feel things that I couldn’t explain. That was probably the best way to explain how I felt with him.

“I can confirm I am not a cop. And have no quarrels with the devils lettuce.”

I offered him a toothy grin in return. The warm lighting made his skin look golden.

“Well then, see, not about you. I just took your appearance as inspiration.”

John’s arms shifted some, he startled gently running his fingers across the curve of my spine. I couldn’t help but shiver. My hands grabbed at his shirt sleeves.

“Can I read the rest?” He asked.

“No,” I replied immediately. “Absolutely not, they are very very very rough drafts and-”

John pulled me down onto him a bit more, and that was when I felt the rest of him. He cock was now pushed up against mine, and I could feel him fully through his pant suit. The friction between those and my briefs forced me closer to him. His hand on my back was activating my nerves, and I felt myself only growing harder. This position was… Jesus fucking christ.

“J-John-” I whispered far more roughly than I meant to.

“I would really, really like to read more,” he murmured softly.

I had no idea how I was supposed to say no to that. From the page he was on, John had already made it through most of the first issue anyways.

I was thoroughly fucking embarrassed he found them in the first place, but I also really liked the plot I was working on with it, and welcomed a second opinion. I hadn’t been ready to show Alex yet because frankly, I wasn’t about to explain myself. He would’ve recognized that as John in a heartbeat.

But I would argue that anyone who looked at John would immediately want to draw him. I couldn’t have been the only one.

When John’s hands moved to my hips, and he ground our lower half’s together again, that was just about when my deductive reasoning decided to launch itself out the open window John cracked to let some cool evening air in.

It was already pitch dark out, probably a little past nine, but I hadn’t noticed. I hadn’t remembered how seamlessly time flowed with John.

“ O-Okay ,“ I mumbled, accepting his pull and leaning even closer till our lips were on the verge of touching.

“I’ll make sure to take good care of them,” he whispered against me, feeling his lips brush mine. His hand remained firmly on my hips, massaging me there, and I was fucking melting against him.

“C-Can I- Can I take care of you? “ I asked him, my voice was completely uneven now.

John didn’t say anything, but I felt him nod against me. His hands tightened their grip slightly before he captured my bottom lip with his.

••

29. I Liked That Too

This chapter is pretty much all smut

Lol for the smut loving baddies, I told y’all I gotchuuu, just trust me babes ;)

“Have I ever steered you wrong?”

-Cleo, Clifford

For the non smut loving baddies, we’re resuming regular scheduled programming next chapter, you have my word

I edited a bit of the last chapter so the wording flowed better towards the end, just fyi

Love y’all so so much, I’m so happy you guys are loving this one as much as I am

It’s been like the beacon of hope for my writers block rn

, so

it’s doing me good to get these chapters up when I feel like it

xoxo

Warning: Explicit Content

Derek

I pushed John a bit further into the couch, wanting to deepen this kiss immediately. He didn’t resist, instead he actually pulled me even closer to him by my hips, and both our moans were muffled into the kiss.

His body was firm, flushed so close against mine, and I couldn’t begin to describe how much I absolutely loved it. That was probably what seduced my hands to let go of the death grip on John’s sleeves, and instead focus on getting this damn shirt off.

I unfastened each button as fast as I could, but John’s lips were an insane distraction when he started moving rougher against mine. His teeth dragged across both my lips, making every part of me submit to that feeling, and my hands would slow again without me even realizing.

Maybe Dave Crenshaw was onto something when he wrote The Myth of Multitasking.

It felt like it took ages to unbutton everything, but as soon as I managed to, my fingers reaped the benefits of my labor. I waisted no time feeling John. From his chest, down his torso… slowly taking note of every ridge. Every curve. Every bit of this ridiculously sculpted man. John moaned roughly into the kiss at my touch, encouraging me on.

And so I continued. Even though my heart was pounding at the thought of me not knowing what the actual fuck I was doing, I decided to just do what I’d usually do with any other partner. I was the first to break this heated kiss, pulling myself away to a instead kiss his cheek, then I dipped my head lower, tilting my head slightly to plant a few soft kisses down his neck.

John’s hands tightened their grip on my hips so goddamn tight, I felt the imprint of each of his fingers as they dug into me. He caught himself a second later and eased his hold some, but I had already felt our cocks grind against each other again from our closeness, which shot series of pleasure waves through my entire body.

I brought my head up till my dazed eyes met John’s. His eyes were dark, and there was a look there that made my stomach flip repeatedly. “I-Is that o-okay?” I whispered, barely getting those words out.

“Yes.” John’s voice was as strained as I ever heard it. It sent shivers through every fucking nerve I had.

So I did that again, dipping my head to connect my lips to his neck again. His skin was soft, but I could feel his veins. I could feel his heartbeat, and the pounding rhythm it kept while my hands felt up John’s chest again. Once my lips made contact, I heard a groan slip past John’s lips that set me on cloud fucking nine.

It was possibly one of the sexiest things I’ve ever heard. His hands tightened on my hips, and when he pulled me towards him again, I couldn’t stop the moans into his neck. My shaky hands moved lower against John’s body without me even realizing it. I couldn’t tell when I started undoing John’s pants, but I heard his breath hitch as soon as I pulled that zipper down.

John’s briefs were slightly wet. That made me smile into his neck while I continued kissing the delicate skin. Once my hand dipped past his briefs to grab him, that was when I felt bold enough to tug at some of his soft skin with my teeth.

John let out a struggles moan, moving his hands from my hips to the sides of my thighs so he could squeeze me a little harder. I think he was a bit scared of hurting me, but I kinda liked it. My hand brushed my own now unbelievably hard dick as I started stroking John…

Okay so maybe I kinda really liked it. The pressure, with a bit of the ache when his thumb started digging even deeper. Nothing that I would consider painful necessarily.

“D-Derek-” he groaned, his voice so damn raspy it felt like he was taking the last of his energy to hold back. Hold back what exactly? I was still working that out.

My hand picked up in speed, stroking him like I would whenever I jerked myself off. John started grinding his hips up into my touch, causing both our now rock hard dicks to brush against each other while my hand moved.

I was so focused on trying to make sure John felt good, I almost jumped when I felt his hand slip past my own briefs. “Y-You don’t hav- y-you already-” my words were barely coherent as is, muffled into his neck, so I pulled my head up till I was closer to his ear. “I want to make you feel good. Y-You already-”

John squeezed my dick hard, and the pleasure that shot through me shut me up instantly. I released a series of moans against his upper neck, struggling to fight how good that felt. How good every fucking thing about this felt.

“Hearing you like this, while you touch me. ..” John whispered hoarsely. He started to stroke me.

I had absolutely no words of substance left, just a variety of curse words. The free hand that John was gripping my right thigh with, slid to my ass and pulled me down even harder. Then he gave it a squeeze and I’m sure whatever was falling past my lips had absolutely no coherency whatsoever anymore. I half forgot I was even kissing down his neck- hell, I was just proud of the fact that I kept a good speed with John’s cock still in my hand.

When I did remember that I was at some point kissing down his neck, I continued. His heartbeat slowly started to feel more and more defined as I moved further down , and it was beating just as hard, if not harder than my own.

My kisses made John’s pace on my dick quicken, which in return made my body as responsive as all fucking hell. I picked up my own pace with John’s cock and he reacted by squeezing my ass even harder. I swear I was starting to get a bit light headed now.

My hand that was once enjoying the feel of John’s ridiculously perfect chest and abs, were now clinging to his shirt collar in my final attempts of trying not to cum.

I wanted John to do that first. He’d already-

My body only added to how scorching hot I felt, when I thought of John swallowing. I was starting to feel that same almost pent up feeling again, just like before.

My brain scoured for something- anything else , to think of in this very moment.

I was so close, I felt my teeth drag down a little harder than intended on a spot of John’s neck. His strokes stilled for a minute as he tipped his head back slowly, granting me more access there. His breathing was labored now, with low throaty moans slipping past those gorgeous lips.

I continued my pace along the length of his dick, dragging my teeth down his neck again like I accidentally did when I was on the verge of coming. I thought this was my ticket out to buy me some time to calm myself down, but just my luck, it had the exact opposite affect.

I felt John move his hand from my ass, up my back, then to my neck, before his fingers slid into my hair and he yanked my head back away from his neck. His voice was the rawest I’ve heard it when he leant towards my ear and whispered “ you’re going to make me cum, “ I felt the hand that had stilled in my briefs, start to pump me again. This time faster. “ But I want to hear you first. “

The short breathes from him fanning the sensitive skin around my ear and upper neck almost made me cum, but those fucking words?

He pulled my head back by my hair again, maintaining a firm grip, before his lips attached to my own neck. My eyes shut tight with pleasure.

He’d be a bit rough at first, sucking in the skin hard for a few moments, but then I felt his tongue come out to soothe the same spot after, just like he did with my lips, and I was completely unraveled by then. I let whatever moans I was holding back, go, as I felt myself orgasm, coming in his hand.

I tried to bury my head in John’s chest to muffle the shakes, and some of the sounds I was making that I couldn’t explain, but his grip on my hair held me back. Then I felt that grip tighten, and the sound John made would’ve had my dick hard all over again if I wasn’t so already spent.

I hadn’t noticed I was still stroking John till I felt his throbbing dick tense up in my hand, and warm liquid coated my fingers moments later.

John’s grip tightened on my cock which made me practically fucking whimper from the sensitivity, before I felt him slowly release me. He moved that hand back to my ass, before bringing my head closer till his lips were just an inch or two away from mine again. His grip in my hair loosened some as well.

I finally opened those tightly shut lids to look at John, who’s eyes now had a glaze to them. I couldn’t really explain it, but it was the most seductive I think he had ever looked. I would’ve glanced way if it wasn’t for our proximity. I had nowhere else to look but at him.

“Was that okay?” He asked lightly, his voice sounding just as raw as it did when he came moments ago. “Did I hurt you at all?”

I shook my head no. “N-No that was- that was- I liked it. “ I settled on. John smiled.

“I uh- I didn’t mean to be so rough-” he continued, with a bit of unevenness in his voice.

“I um-” I paused a moment, letting my eyes drift closed because I refused to remain eye contact with him while I admitted this next part. “ I liked that too. “

I felt John take the shakiest deep breath, but he didn’t say anything for a while. I kept my eyes closed, anticipating he’d have a response to that at some point, but he didn’t. When my eyes slowly opened again, I saw his were still on me intently.

But with his next blink, it’s like something in him brought him back to the present. His lids shut momentarily to give me a soft kiss, before eventually pulling away.

“Let me clean you up.”

I wanted John to stay the night, but I knew he couldn’t. So I didn’t ask.

I didn’t want him to feel bad for having to leave so soon after dinner… and after what took place right after dinner.

He was going to pack up the remaining like two scoops of ratatouille to set in my fridge for later, but I happily finished that off while I watched him put together the rest of the kitchen items he brought from his home.

He told me to keep the dish I was currently eating straight out of, which I thanked him for. I honestly wanted to try and recreate ratatouille on my own, so the medium square size was perfect.

John, much to my dismay, didn’t forget any of the comics he planned on borrowing. He cleared out every last one of my works that had his likeness as a character, and honestly, I was still so up in the clouds, eating the last of dinner after having cum twice tonight… I couldn’t find it in me to argue with the man.

He said his goodbye’s at my doorway, leaning down to give me a kiss.

His lips moved against me gently before he pulled away a few seconds later. The kiss felt sweet, but a bit polite. Regardless, it made me smile.

I wasn’t liking this part at all.

I kinda wanted to throw a tantrum in hopes he’d stay, but I held myself back. Some would call this growth, because I’ve never been above a tantrum before.

“Goodnight, Derek.” John said with an easygoing smile.

“Goodnight John,” I waved slowly, watching as he turned down the hall with both cloth bags in one hand, before disappearing. I locked up soon after.

A quick shower before bed sounded like a fantastic idea, so I found myself making my way back down the corridor towards the bathroom. Before I could make it there, however, there was a knock on my front door.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I turned around and walked back.

“Did you forget something-” I started to say while flipping the lock and swinging the door open, but John gently pushed me back through the doorway before I could finish. His hands wasted no time wrapping around my waist and the back of my neck before his lips found mine again.

I mind was very confused, but my body told me not to question it. So I found my hands tangled up in the same hair he had just finished trying to work damage control on with his fingers, before he left. John’s lips were rough, and hasty against me, this kiss far more passionate than the one before, but he pulled away almost just as quick.

“I can’t stay,” he told me gently, his voice close and low, “but I want you to know I want to. I really fucking want to. “

That was the last thing he said, before walking back to the doorway and picking up the produce bags he had set on the floor.

“Goodnight Derek.” The most gorgeous smile was playing at his lips when I finally opened my eyes again, and that was the last thing I saw before he turned the corner and disappeared again.

For real this time.

••

30. I Agree With This Line Of Questioning. I’m Intrigued

Two uploads today because I love you guys

Getting back to comments and hopefully messages on my board today as well!

I needed to take some time to regroup, and tweak a bit of the upcoming chapters, but we’re back at it babyyy

Enjoy!

xoxo

John

I had to be losing my marbles.

Because Sunday was possibly the least productive day I’ve had in a while. And that was the complete opposite of what I had planned for the day. Another unexpected thing was the call I received half way through it.

“Pierre. Just call the fucking bank for that one, your name is on the account too.”

“This one had a password protection on it for whenever we called, and I can’t remember what that was. I told you to write it down-”

“And I probably didn’t.” I snapped on the call, glancing at the comics I was currently in the middle of trying to read before Don rang me in less than half an hour. “Why are you bothering me with this on a Sunday? I told you business inquiries are done through business hours.”

As soon as I said that, I almost laughed. To Pierre, business hours were twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. This call probably made the most sense to him.

“Ouch,” Pierre replied. “I didn’t think we’d ever get here during this split.”

“You’ve been harassing me with phone calls. Showing up at my office unannounced,” I shot back. “The next stage in this split will be a restraining order, I’m sure Don has made you aware of that already.”

Pierre chuckled dryly. “I thought he was joking.”

“He wasn’t.” I clarified.

The line went quiet for a while. I honestly thought he might’ve hung up, but I didn’t hear that familiar three beeps when a call ends, so unfortunately that wasn’t the case.

“You’re seeing someone new then?”

Ah.

There is was.

“Pierre,” my next few words were more biting than I was used to replying with when it came to him, “I could be in a long term committed relationship with a north shoreline pebble , and I promise you, it would still have absolutely the fuck nothing to do with you. We’ve been broken up for almost a year now, this is ridiculous.”

“I haven’t seen anyone since you.”

“Yeah and I’m sure your dick hates you for that.”

Yet another silence occupied the line, before Pierre finally said “I’m willing to change. I’d be better for you this time.”

This time, the next pause was one of my own accord. “I changed to be better for you. Now I’m learning who I was before that, and who I could’ve been had you not happened. I needed that flexibility from you fucking years ago, I don’t need it now.”

The anger in my voice encompassed every irritation Pierre had brought on. Including calling during my time alone with Derek.

“I actually need absolutely nothing from you now. You’re free. Go do free single people shit, and stop harassing me.”

The call didn’t last much longer after that.

And that was a good thing too, because I managed to get through more of the series Derek had written about me.

Okay, alright, technically it wasn’t about me, but seeing the way Derek drew me as a character made my heart do a thing. A real dangerous thing.

I could barely believe my eyes when I was looking through his collection and my fingers panned over to a series with no cover, just a number scribbled on the front. When I peaked inside,  my body stilled. I recognized that shade of light green eyes anywhere, I had stared at them in a mirror for almost three decades now.

That was when I moved to the couch, deciding to actually read this one page by page. I noticed the date on the bottom right of the inside cover was right after Hawaii, which honestly made my mind spiral.

The thought of Derek still thinking about me, even after the trip.

I mean sure, he thought I had a face for a character, but still. The way he wrote me in this story as a charming detective with addicting looks and an even more addictive personality…

Say what you will, but I was rolling with this being about me.

I thought about Derek’s adorable reaction once he recognized what I was reading. How he tried his best to grab it out of my hand… and what that led to…

I had tried all fucking day not to think too much about that part, especially when I was supposed to be working, but I couldn’t help it.

The way he had said that. ’ I liked that too .’

My hands had already wreaked havoc on whatever hairstyle I was going for today, but that didn’t stop stop them for putting in extra credit now. At least I was in the comfort of my own home.

I had froze up when he said that. I didn’t know how to react. Or rather, I had two very different reactions playing at the forefront of my mind.

One was probably my initial reaction. The reaction the devil on my shoulder was in charge of: temptation. That line turned me on so much, it slightly terrified me. Especially after I had already cum as hard as I did from just his touch.

The thought that Derek actually liked a bit of the roughness was just- it was too much. It was too much … and that was when the angel on my other shoulder lent me her two cents.

She had me thinking about how quickly I was pushing things. How impatient I was being. Hell, Derek hadn’t even had sex with a guy before, and there I was on that couch, thinking about restraints, and ropes and- and discipline .

Yeah it was then that I decided I should probably get home. I honestly didn’t trust myself, or trust how slow I was willing to take it. Derek was my blind spot.

The call with Don didn’t go much better.

I was going to tell him about Derek right away, but he immediately jumped in with Pierre slander, and I didn’t feel like getting Don more worked up.

That, and the fact that Pierre slander will always be tolerated around these parts. So I let Don get everything he needed to off his chest. We shared the same resentment for that guy.

By the time we got off the topic of restraining orders, I couldn’t figure out how to segue that to Derek. So I didn’t.

But there was someone else I needed to call in regards to Derek, and I gave them a ring as soon as Don and I got off the phone.

I heard the call connect on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey Marty.”

Marty groaned almost immediately.

“John, the store is closed. It’s been closed for hours now, and I refuse to go open it just cause you don’t know how store hours work. Let me enjoy my weekend goddamn it.”

I chuckled at that. “I’m not calling for that, man.”

There was a bit of rustling over the line before he said “You’re not?”

“Remember that time when I did that one thing for you and you promised you’d do something for me if a time ever called for it?” I questioned.

“No.” He deadpanned. “What do you need though?”

I laughed. “How do you feel about giving me a general walkthrough on how gaming computers are built?”

Marty chuckled on the other end.

“No seriously, what do you need?”

Derek

Going back to work Monday morning after the weekend I had, felt almost dystopian. But I did it anyways cause money. After that parts order, I was going to need to make a whole lot more money, which meant I was unfortunately welcoming the overtime.

Ivanov Corp didn’t deserve an extra second of my life, but overtime was always an option here, which made these desperate moments in my life a bit easier financially.

But fuck em. Fuck all of them.

Besides Alex and Joan of course, we like Alex and Joan.

Joan was supposed to give me and Alex a ring on Sunday, but we all decided we’d meet up at Tully’s mid week to catch up there instead. A phone call just felt a bit weird for a topic like this one, and a three way call never worked right.

Alex spent most of the day hiding on the third floor come Monday, trying to fix one of Christian’s awards which he accidentally broke when looking for a finance book Christian requested from his office. Alex was doing his best to glue it back together with super glue, and it was… well, it was going.

“Alex?” I called out, slipping my headset back around my neck like Joan had, before she started in on her baby carrots.

“Yes?” He replied from the empty desk nearby.

“Does anal sex hurt?”

Joan started choking, standing from her chair suddenly to pat her chest.

Alex almost dropped the glass ball part he had broken off the award and was trying to glue back on.

“Actually,” Joan barely croaked out, “I agree with this line of questioning. I’m intrigued.”

“Alrighty. And that about wraps up my third floor side quest. It’s been an honor-”

“Oh no you don’t.” Joan managed to scoot her chair across to Alex and yanked him back into his seat before he could fully stand. “I sat here and answered questions I had no business answering for a week straight, while you had virgin cocktails on a beach. It’s your turn baby.”

Alex gave her a look before scooting his chair back in.

“Derek, it’s… well, it…” Alex took a moment to compose himself and seemingly his thoughts. “It’s hard to say. It really depends. Kinda like since it’s a sort of penetrative sex, there’s bound to be a bit of discomfort and pain at the very beginning. But it all depends, if it’s slow and lube is involved, that’s also usually a big help.”

I frowned at that.

“But then you, ah… well I guess you adjust. With the right partner it can be really good.”

I thought about that. With the right partner.

“When did you and Christian start fucking?” I asked a bit suddenly.

“I’m not answering that,” Alex snapped back.

I nibbled on the inside of my lip, thinking for a second.

“How long did you and Christian wait to start fucking?”

“That’s the same question, reworded. I’m not answering that either.”

I leant back in my chair a moment, thinking. I guess there was one other thing I wondered about. Something I probably should’ve sat with before blurting, but regardless, I decided on “How vanilla is Christian and yours’s sexlife?”

“Oh honey, John is so sweet, I’m sure the sex will be pretty gentle and vanilla,” Joan tried reassuring me. She probably thought I was worried about the first time. I mean I guess I kinda was.

“I agree with Joan, and as for your question, I’d sooner attempt stopping a moving train with my body, than answer that.”

“That’s a good answer,” Christian cut in, startling the hell out of all of us as we whipped our eyes over at him. He had popped out of one of Customer Services training pods which were just private rooms for when the chatter of the open office space got a little too loud. I wasn’t sure how he even caught the conversation, but I stood by my initial take of the place:

It was like Big Brother in here, he was always watching.

Alex turned around at lighting speed, having been caught in the act of still trying to glue this broken award together. “Uh- C-Christian,” he tried for a smile. He just looked even more guilty.

“I’m not sure what you’re doing, but it doesn’t look like work,” Christian replied. Alex was still startled, but he was also a bit confused now.

“Well uh- I accidentally broke one of the awards in your office.” He gestured to the ball thing that was separated from a glass cylinder looking thingy all on the otherwise empty desk. I don’t fucking know what it was supposed to be, but it seemed fancy.

Christian took a closer look, before shaking his head. “Yeah I honestly don’t recognize that. Leave it, and if you’re still hell bent on fixing it later, you can put in overtime after we finish our calls. John’s waiting upstairs with questions. Questions I can’t BS my way through.”

And that was the last we heard from Christian and Alex as he whisked our buddy away back to the top floor.

Just hearing John’s name made my body heat up again. Suddenly, this long sleeve work shirt felt like a fur coat on me. Saturday night had already occupied so much of my brain, I was fighting for the last few bits of free space I could find.

Having the weekends I was having this last almost month now, then being thrust back into these work weeks, was the most jarring thing I’d experienced in a while. And I made it through the dogshit seasons and movies that were produced from the early 2008 writers strike.

This shouldn’t have been as hard as it currently was.

I thought about the text I got Sunday night, and the plans that would surely throw my next weekend into equal chaos.

Then I turned to my next best thing about this. “Hey Joan-”

“No.”

••

31. Plan To Spend The Day With Me

Second upload is here as promised!

I’m at work currently so I’ll check out comments on both chapters after :)

Might be some errors here cause work has picked up, but I’ll get to those later, too

Enjoy all 2700 words lol, this chapter is a long one

xoxo

John

“So you want me to build you another PC? You just dropped like close to ten bands on your last one!”

“No no,” I tried to explain to Marty, “I just need to know how to upgrade it. Replace some parts.” I paused, thinking back to that long ass order list Derek had. “Well, a lot of parts. Also, jeez I spent ten grand?”

“Upgrades? John, please hear me when I say that what I built you could survive the fucking rapture. That’s how powerful that bad boy is. And yes, ten g’s. You told me to build my dream PC for you, so I did.”

I stopped to think, wondering how best to explain this request to Marty.

Eventually I just gave up and said “Derek wants to upgrade his computer. I offered to help him.”

Marty full on laughed at that. “Oh sweet lord, why the hell would you do that?”

Ah, a question I was definitely trying to avoid.

“Scratch that, anyone who’s seen you around that man knows why,” Marty added.

Well alrighty then.

I guess that wasn’t much of a secret.

“I’m still a bit surprised though, cause you don’t know the first thing about that world. You were pretty clear about not caring to learn when I built yours.”

Marty was just being honest with me. He’d offered to build my PC with me and I turned him down almost instantly. At the time, I thought it was a stupid thing to have occupy space in my brain, but now I wasn’t like that anymore. I wasn’t as closed minded… or in the heat of one messy breakup.

“I learn quick,” I reminded him.

“How could I forget,” Marty muttered, having now spent years and years losing to me in the video games I actually applied myself to.

“Perfect, I’ll see you this Friday night after you close the store. You coming to see Herold?”

“Fuck no.” Marty’s response was quick. “John, that cat only likes you.”

“He just takes some getting used to.”

“Takes some getting used to my ass. It’s been years ,” Marty reminded me. “That ship has sailed. There’s permanent bad blood there now, and it’s easier to lean into it than to draw up treaties this late in the game. He’s an enemy for lifers.” I chuckled at that. “Plus,” he continued, “it’s probably easier to show you more of the basics on one of my older PC’s at the store. I did a bunch of fancy shit to yours that Derek probably hasn’t done to his.”

I thought about that a second. Was the fancy shit that necessary? Maybe I should’ve been paying closer attention to the build. Or at least the bill when Don was lecturing me about it.

“Just drop by at the store after hours, you’re pretty used to doing that anyways.”

I decided I deserved that last jab. I was pretty notorious for missing the store hours cause of my work. It got hard to fit that stop into my schedule when I was visiting here from New York.

“Thank you, Marty. I’ll never forget this.” I said dramatically.

“An no matter how hard I try to, something tells me I won’t either,” he quipped with the same dramatism.

Before my Sunday came to a complete close, I texted Derek.

I just realized I never fed your tamagotchi last night. How rude of me.

I kept my phone near me instead of placing it on the night stand, hoping Derek would still be up.

He was.

I know, I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic.

Don’t worry, after a midnight snack he was all good.

That had to the the cutest fucking thing , I thought, smiling.

Well let me make it up to him. Why don’t you both come over next Saturday. He and Herold can have a play date.

I waited a bit before sending this next part:

You and I can also have a date. And play.

There’s a cute grocery store and farmers market near my home. I’ll let you choose what we make.

And the final nail in the coffin was this:

Bring your computer too. We’ll work on it together. Plan to spend the day with me.

Then I waited for Derek’s reply.

And waited.

And waited .

Sure only five minutes had passed before I got a response, but that felt like a fucking eternity when I was just laying in bed waiting.

That sounds phenomenal. Shimagurutchi (my tamagotchi) says thank you. I say thanks too… :)

If it weren’t for the fact that tomorrow was a work day, I would’ve asked whether this young man and Shima-… Shimaguruu-… Shimaaa, let’s just call him Shima, would like some company tonight.

But instead I responded with:

You two are most welcome, love.

And so, because of my very eventful weekend, the start come Monday hurt more than I was expecting. Don had sent over questions after our third and forth proposal review with manufacturing, which I had been reviewing since I woke up at six this morning.

Brad decided to take a personal day today, which made it even harder to work out when to talk with him about the whole Russia situation, and Christian had sent Alex off to do something early in the morning but he hadn’t returned yet.

So that just left Christian and I when I arrived at his office a little later that same morning.

All it took was one glance at me before Christian muttered “you disgust me.”

I took a seat across from the man at his desk, grateful I closed his office door behind me on the way in.

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“That smile,” Christian continued, “last time I saw it, you closed that critical deal with investors for your start up. You’re a sappy, disgustingly sweet kinda happy, and something tells me that had something to do with Derek.”

“Good morning to you too, Christian.”

This had to be the first time I genuinely had to break eye contact with an Ivanov. I always forgot how well the Ivanov brothers knew me.

“Derek and I spent time together Saturday night,” I admitted.

“As long as you spent that time off this damn premise, I don’t need to hear anything else. And I mean that. Spare me all the details. Every last one.” Christian replied.

I lent back in one of his slightly uncomfortable office chairs. “I was wondering something actually… have you met some of Derek’s other exes before? What were they like?”

The look Christian was giving me was one I should’ve seen coming. “First let me start by saying that there is nothing, nothing I could care less about, than Derek’s love life. I mean that with all my heart,” Christian spoke sincerely, patting his chest. “However, from what I heard, Derek must be into all kinds of stuff-”

Oh?

“Well maybe not, it honestly sounded a bit like he was just getting his ass beat, which I guess isn’t really consensual. Maybe non consensual consent? Is that what that is? Anyways his exes are crazy from what Alex has told me.”

Oh.

“Although I’m sure they also didn’t consent to being cheated on…”

What?

“Anyways I reviewed the questions you had for us, and honestly? I need Alex for this. I sent him to do one little task and now he’s trying to dodge working entirely.” Christian muttered that last but more to himself. “Let me see what’s up with him.”

I watched as Christian moved to stand before walking around his desk and myself, towards his closed office door. I heard the door handle rattle, but before he could yank it open, he called back over to me.

“John?”

I turned around in the office chair to fully face him. “Yes?”

Christian took a moment to get whatever was suddenly weighing heavy on him, off his chest.

“While Derek isn’t my favourite person in the world… Or like top seven billion honestly . He means a lot to Alex, and Alex means a lot to me. He also means a lot to Joan, and Joan means a lot to Brad, who means a lot to me. Both me and you actually.” Christian added, reminding me of something I knew too well. “While I full heartedly believe Derek will probably be the one to do something stupid and ruin this first, I just-… I… let it be him , you know?” Christian paused before clearing his throat. “It’s easier that way. For all of us.”

In the most roundabout way fucking possible, I understood what Christian was saying.

And so I gave him a warm smile.

“I won’t hurt him. You have my word.”

It didn’t take long for Christian to find Alex, and drag him back upstairs. Alex had a call to hop on soon so Christian just dumped the files filled with questions from Mavericks’s board, into Alex’s hands, and sent him back to his office.

That was when I decided it’s best I get some of my own work done. I’d have to explain to Don why these questions probably won’t be answered till at least by EOD, so that was going to be fun.

Before I could stand to leave Christian’s office though, he mentioned something that made me sit right back down.

“I just walked in on the funniest conversation between Alex, Joan, and Derek downstairs.”

“Really?” I asked. “What was it about?”

“They were discussing our sex lives,” Christian laughed. My eyebrows just furrowed. “They all thought sex with you is probably vanilla. Brought me right back to our good ol college days, cause the stories that came from back then- stories I’m still hearing about to this day mind you, contradict that statement entirely.”

The amused grin on Christian’s face made me look away from him again.

College was… a different time. A slightly unhinged time for me and my sexuality.

But… vanilla?

‘I liked that too.’

What Derek had whispered to me still occupied every thought I had in my mind today, in some way. There was no way he could’ve been the one to make that vanilla comment. And was vanilla being used as a positive or a negative in that context? Was vanilla what Derek wanted?

‘I liked that too.’

No… I don’t think so.

I wanted to ask Christian more about what exactly was said, but I chose not to pry. The less Christian was reminded of our terrible decisions during college, the better.

It sounded like between Derek and myself, we had one… interesting dating history.

I still hadn’t forgotten about the domestic violence and the cheating Christian literally mentioned in passing like it was nothing.

That was absolutely going to be a conversation between Derek and myself at some point. And there was still that civil lawsuit I knew nothing about.

I also thought about what Christian had said before he went to find Alex. What I promised him- that I wouldn’t hurt this adorable man.

It was no surprise to anyone that Christian and I were from very different worlds than Alex and Derek. Christian knew I’d have to be back in New York next week, I couldn’t leave my office unattended for long. He knew I’d be having longer stretches between my trips here because Ivanov Corp would be going back to New York instead, unexpectedly, for some in person meetings with my board and new investors.

I was hesitant about having these new investors meet Christian in person, but Alex being there seemed to calm him during their last trip, and everything ended up working itself out, so I decided to risk it.

Christian also knew Derek had an entire work life balance here. One that couldn’t be uprooted to New York just like that- not saying I’d ever even ask that of Derek… maybe I was getting a little ahead of myself here.

He knew all the shit Don knew, besides the extent of my issues with Pierre of course… so if Christian was this weary, I knew I should’ve been as well.

But it was hard to be when I got messages like the one Derek sent Tuesday evening.

Btw, I told Shimagurutchi about us. Just fyi. He might have some questions come Saturday.

This shit had my heart on a fucking rollercoaster.

Tell him to lay it on me, I can take it. How much should I tell him?

Another text came in minutes later.

How much do you feel comfortable telling him?

I was quick with my response.

How much do

you

feel comfortable telling him?

But Derek was quicker with his.

However much you do.

I smiled down at my phone screen like an idiot, already tucked into bed with Herold laying on my lap. I could feel his eyes on me, judging.

Well I hope you don’t mind, but Herold knows everything.

He beat it out of me.

So I think it’s only fair we give Shima the same transparency.

It took Derek a bit longer before he replied.

I agree. Just prepare yourself. He’s probably cooking up some tough questions. Also Shima is a cute nickname.

I was one hundred percent grinning like an idiot, when I responded with:

Good. I like a challenge. And I’m glad you think so.

And that was where we left things for the night.

I wasn’t the greatest texter, but Derek didn’t really put any pressure around an immediate response. I found myself searching for a pocket of time right before bed, when he was somehow still awake as well. That was usually when we both had time.

I opted for a call Thursday evening because I had seen him in passing at the office a total of three times this entire week. Only three times. It was starting to irritate me.

Christian’s bullshit workplace policy was starting to really irritate me. Everywhere I looked, there he was with his megaphone in hand. The embarrassment of him calling me out with that thing on a floor full of employees, kept all my urges at bay.

I was usually always in earlier than Derek was, and Christian, Alex, Brad, and I found ourselves leaving late each evening since Christian and Alex got back. It was so often, Herold had toned down his complaining. At this point, he was getting used to the apology treats.

I told myself I had to watch it cause Herold was already one big cat. His puffy fur didn’t help him much either.

Derek picked up on the fourth ring.

“Hi.”

I swear I could hear him smile when he spoke.

“Hi.” I replied with a smile of my own, as if he was right in front of me. “I was going to text, but I like hearing your voice.”

There was some rustling of papers on Derek’s end.

“No this is perfect! I was just drawing… and I- I um, I like hearing your voice too,” he replied.

I sat up a bit in bed with an even larger grin playing at my lips, before I reached over and turned up my bedside table lamp’s brightness setting.

“What are you working on?” I asked as I pulled my notebook out from the top drawer of the table and grabbed a pen from the holder next to the lamp. Then I turned to a new fresh page and leant the book against Herold’s fat tummy.

“Oh it’s just something I’ve been fiddling with. It’s nothing solid yet.”

My teeth bit of the top of the pen off. “Humor me,” I told him.

And so he did… with one of the most interesting premises for a story I’d heard in quite a while.

I made sure to write it all down.

••

32. I Thought My Lock Picking Skills In Splinter Cell Had Prepared Me For This

Another random upload as I do some revising with future chapters

There may be errors (as always lol) cause I was editing and rewatching Psych for the ten billionth time (my comfort show) earlier in the day

Enjoy!

xoxo

Derek

John was too good at getting information out of me, I swear.

Somehow what would’ve been a quick fifteen minute conversation where I gave a vague explanation of the plot, turned into an almost two hour conversation that went until around one in the morning.

John asked me to explain the story like I would if I was pitching it to a publication company. He asked me questions I hadn’t really thought of before, like whether a shorter or longer series would really work best. He had me determine how many peaks the story will have, or whether it would follow the traditional Freytag’s Pyramid.

I told John I had absolutely no idea what in the hell that was.

So he had me pull out a piece of paper and draw this pyramid shape, then he explained where to put dashes, and what those dashes represented on the shape I drew.

It was actually really helpful for organization with the jumbled plot I was currently trying to hash out.

At first I thought the story would be something short, maybe three to five issues total, but John pitched a fair argument for why seven to ten longer issues might also be a good idea.

Essentially the working synopsis I had come up with was this:

The year is 1888.

Inside the small, cluttered, dusty home of address 221B Baker Street, is a mad man working and case that’s been tearing the mind he once knew, in two.

Sherlock has been tasked with solving a mysterious set of murders plaguing the Whitechapel district of London, England. This killers victims are chosen and targeted- the invisible few. Those passed by on the streets without a second glance, their lives viewed as nothing more than livestock ready for slaughter at any unfortunate, unforgiving moment.

This was the jagged bitter truth for many women who found a living as ladies of the night. Their deaths slipping from the memory of those who’d even bother to listen…

Until the the bodies piling are far too many to ignore.

As were the ways in which they were killed.

A slash to the throat. Their stomached gutted open like a fresh market fish. Their organs removed with skill only a surgeon could have.

The police have no suspects. And no other choice, but to call upon help from a man who serves no business being near a crime scene. No business near any place that called for even a shred of tenderness. They think due to his uncanny habit with detaching from each case, he must be hiding something.

And maybe Sherlock was.

As he delves further into this investigation, he starts to notice things that aren’t quite right. Or rather, too right. There was something about this case that felt familiar. Something that almost…

taunted

him. Bits and pieces that fit too well, as his own more constant memory lapses leaves in their wake all questions and no answers.

There was only one question he keeps stumbling back to like a homing pigeon returning to its nest, as each murder reveals more yet less about the killer.

Was he playing a deadly game of chess… against

himself?

It was basically a What If Sherlock Was Jack The Ripper gothic graphic novel.

John fucking lost his shit when I told him about the premise, and listened intently as I revealed some of the major twists that I wanted to play around with. A very solid, comfort yet thrilling Who Done It.

It made me feel incredible, like I had shown someone my stamp collection and they actually found it cool. It felt like John and I were two writers in a writers room together once the conversation took off, bouncing ideas off each other like a friendly game of tennis. He didn’t give as much input on where the story should go, but rather opted to ask me all these questions that made my creative juices flow.

Like how deep into the background did I want to go with each victim? I did my best to dance around the topic of just how much I personally supported sex work (I obviously still did, but John didn’t need to know about the the whole porn addiction thing just yet. Or really ever).

He really liked the idea of flushing the victims backstory out, and making good tie ins. By the time we finished chatting, I had pages and pages of notes, all scribbled about in some chicken scratch handwriting because John and I were spreading like wildfire across different topics.

I wasn’t even sure I got everything down.

I liked how well he managed to keep up with my random thoughts though. Topic changes. Sideline entries. If this weird brain of mine left his frizzled, he did a great job of hiding it.

The only downside to how long we were on the phone for, was how inspired I was right after saying goodnight. I ended up staying up till nearly 3:30 in the morning just drawing and writing.

That made for one brutal Friday morning. That shit ran me over, reversed back onto me, then ran me over again. I looked and felt like death throughout the day, which was only stretched out when Alex and Joan agreed on Tully’s for tonight right after work.

We hadn’t had time to check in with Joan yet this week, so I told myself tonight was too important to reschedule again. Who knew when either Joan or Alex would get another free moment.

By the time we made it to Tully’s though, I looked and felt like a fucking zombie.

“Your usual?” Tully asked me as we all took our usual seats at the bar. I shook my head no.

“Unless you’re hiding a shot of expresso somewhere back there,” I signaled to behind his bar, “I’m going to take a Red Bull. Actually, make that two.”

Tully nodded, pulling two cans of the Tropical flavor out before setting the yellow cans in front of me. Joan got herself a Tito’s and Sprite per usual, while Alex stuck with Coke.

“So,” I started, turning to the gang, “why the hell is Brad going to Russia?”

While I would’ve loved to have been more smooth with that transition, I was about thirty minutes away from laying right down on top of this bar and taking a nap. It was slow for a Friday night so I genuinely contemplated it, but Tully would’ve probably thrown me out before I got a leg on it.

Maybe that was actually the out I needed tonight.

“Honestly, Brad didn’t disclose all the details, but Vadik requested he do some work there. I guess that disgusting piece of shit did a favor for Brad and in return, he wants Brad to return home for a  month or two.”

Alex and I immediately frowned.

“That’s a horrible idea.” We both said in unison.

“Oh trust me, I know.” Joan nodded. “Brad gave me more of an overview, so I think it’s best he explains the rest. It’s just- he should be the one to explain it.”

Alex and I nodded slowly, sensing Joan really didn’t want to go any further with that.

“Anyways, we’ve been spending as much time together as we can. Brad has been making arrangements for his home while he’s gone. Or rather, arrangement. I agreed I’d just move in temporarily to tend to the place.”

That made Alex and I grin wide.

“His home is way, way more high maintenance than mine!” Joan rushed quickly when I started wiggling my eyebrows. “The guy started a fucking garden this summer for Christ sake. All I’ve got is a house plant that’s definitely on its way out. Come to think of it, I have no idea why he’d trust me with his garden…”

That was technically true. Brad had a mansion that he basically kept up with on his own. Judging by how healthy all his house plants looked while I was wandering about his halls drunk off the Gandhi Spirituality after the Gala, I’m guessing he kept up with everything pretty well.

“Let us know if you need any help. Seriously. We can google how to keep a garden alive together, but knowing Brad, he probably has a set of instructions for you.” Alex offered sincerely.

Joan nodded. “Thank you. And you are so right. Sometimes I wonder how he does it- how he holds it all together. Taking on all these new tasks as he transitions into COO, while still going overse-”

“Wait hold up, when did that happen?” I cut in. “Slav stepped down?” This was all news to me.

“Derek, we all got an email with the company’s monthly newsletter like two weeks ago. It was the very first bit of information on there,” Joan replied.

I stared back at her. “You guys actually read those?”

Joan just slowly shook her head at me. “ Like I was saying , I don’t know how he holds it all together. Christian has been calling him a lot lately to work out both work and private matters, I can tell Brad’s keeping his cool to provide some stability for everyone else… so I’m trying to be a bit of stability for him. He didn’t ask for it, but you know Brad. When does he ever ask for anything…“

“Yeah…” Alex trailed off sheepishly, “apologizing on behalf of Christian is useless, but sorry for all the late and early calls. Slav hasn’t made this transition pleasant for Christian either. They’re also still very on edge with each other about the whole wedding thing, and Vadik thing, and Brad leaving for Russia thing… a lot has happened.”

Joan and I nodded in agreement. A lot had happened.

The Ivanov family was better than I, cause I would’ve lost it if I had that much on my plate. I honestly felt kinda bad for my friends, and the fact that both their partners were tied up in the most insane family drama one could conjure up after a massive blunt.

I definitely felt bad for Brad. He was the one who deserved this the very least.

Christian?

Well…

Well… okay I guess I felt just a smidge bad for him too. Only cause Alex cared. Therefore I had to too.

Watching Joan and Alex go through it just broke my heart. They one thousand percent didn’t deserve this.

And so, our meeting at Tully’s was a more somber one. Definitely not a sober one though, besides Alex of course. I had told Tully to pour Joan and I a round, cause if we couldn’t cheer each other up, we’d ride out the very low lows good and drunk.

Alex just agreed to drive us all home since he was sober, and told us to drink to our hearts content considering he had to make us for all the times we got his drunk ass home.

I still couldn’t believe that until further notice, Joan and I had a designated driver. Manna from heaven, I tell you.

By the time I got home, I was so tired and tipsy I didn’t have the energy to take my work clothes off before I plopped onto my mattress. I wanted to text John and see if he was up, but I didn’t even make it long enough for that. As soon as my body bounced lightly off the soft memory foam cover, I melted into it and welcomed this cloud like comfort.

John

“I cannot believe I let you convince me to do this.” Marty swore under his breath as he pointed to the screw I needed to unscrew for the third time in the last five minutes. His eyesight was insane for how dim these book store overhead lights were.

“It’s not my fault I thought my lock picking skills in Splinter Cell had prepared me for this.”

Marty looked across the counter to shoot me a look. I focused again on the microscopic screw, trying to hold the screw driver steady to lock it into the matching grooves. This was… annoying. This was really fucking annoying.

“Oh yes, you were able to slowly push the analog stick around in a circle. You’re basically an engineer. Let’s remember you agreed to this. I’m only doing this because you’re my largest paying customer.”

“Oh I know. I also agreed to get you passes to that gallery show you’ve been meaning to go to. Let’s not forget that. I cashed in on a lot of favours to secure them, which I’m genuinely alarmed by.”

“And judging by how long it’s taken you to get this plastic piece off, I’d say we’re even.” I gave Marty a look, one that told him these two things were no where near equivalent to each other. “Speaking of events, I take it you plan on taking Derek to the Onyx Comics Cocktail Party this month then?” He continued.

My eyebrows furrowed a moment.

Onyx Comics Cocktail Party…?

I looked past the computer to him, trying to figure out what he was talking about, until an “ ah shit “ slipped past my lips.

I really needed to hire an assistant.

“That’s…”

“Yep.” Marty nodded.

“ Shit .“

“Yeah.”

“Was I supposed to…”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I asked for, and you agreed to do a short acceptance speech.”

“Right…”

“You agreed.”

“Right. No, yeah I’ll be there. Speech written and all.”

“Good. Cause you agreed.”

I gave Marty a nod, hoping that would reassure him. My hand reached up to run my fingers through my hair again, but I stopped myself before I could. I’d done that enough times tonight whilst having Marty walk me through each part major part of this PC. We’d been at this since seven this evening and now it was almost eleven at night.

Instead, I focused back on unscrewing the last two screws of the panel.

“Speaking of Onyx actually, are you still close with what’s his name- Gilbert?”

“Gillian. And yes, why?” Marty questioned. “Also, I’m proofreading your speech before you stand up and embarrass me in front of a lot of wealthy people. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this, but you should know who’s head of the leading comic publishing company you donate a shit ton of money too.”

“I like being a quiet philanthropist. It means less suit and tie events.” I reminded Marty. “Anyways, I was just wondering if they were still taking submissions? For fresh meat that is.”

The surprise on Marty’s face was was unmissable.

“John. No offense, but I’ve seen your art. Stick figures is the extent of it and even those are questionable. You always draw the torso too long, so it looks like they all have a penis.”

“Okay first off, rude . Let’s not forget I count that penis as an extra thing you can lose if you mess up a turn in hangman. You’re welcome for that by the way. Also, It’s not my work,” I tried to explain. “It’s a referral actually. Derek has this new story he’s working on and it’s really good. He’s fantastic at drawing too, the whole nine yards. I don’t want you to tell Gillian it’s from me though, that’ll influence his decision. I want Derek to have this shot organically.”

“Hmm,” Marty hummed, “a man that not only reads comics, but makes them… oh you must be smitten beyond belief my boy. And he’s got a killer set of eyes-”

“Leave me alone.” I grumbled, placing the last screw on the double sided tape Marty laid out in strips on the counter for easy reassemble.

“I’m happy for you. Cause fuck Pierre, seriously. He’s on a different level of delusion.” Marty pointed to the next piece I needed to undo.

Great, another small ass screw.

“And yeah, we’re always looking for something fresh. Pitch it to me.” Marty picked up the other screwdriver off the table and got to disassembling the front panel in hopes of moving this hands on demo along. “I gotta see if it’s worth bothering that very very busy man about.”

••

33. When You Stop, We Stop

A lil weekend treat, might be a double upload cause I’m particularly hyped about these next few chapters… ;)

but we shall see

Enjoy, m’lovelies!

xoxo

Derek

I slept all the way into Saturday morning.

It was actually the call from John that woke me up. He was letting me know he was on his way to come pick me up, and would be here in thirty.

I kept my cool and remained calm over the phone.

Then rightfully so, I full on lost it as soon as I hung up.

In addition to having to shower, dress, and at least try with my hair because I wanted to look nice today…

Yes , John was starting to make me care about my hair. It was a tough pill to swallow- looking over at his perfect style, then catching a glimpse of my insane birds nest in the mirror. John didn’t seem to care, but that just made me want to try even harder to not look a mess.

Anyways, in addition to all that, I also had to get my computer and the new parts together. Luckily I hadn’t removed the new parts from the original packaging that was delivered to my door earlier this week. As for my computer though, I forgot to get it ready to move last night.

I didn’t do anything after making it back from Tully’s, but sleep.

This meant that I was in the fight of my life trying to wrap up jumbled chords and cables when John finally arrived. I thought he would just shoot me a text that he was downstairs, but he instead walked all the way up to my apartment door. The knock damn near gave me a heart attack.

“Hi.” I smiled up at him a bit wildly once I threw the door open. I was still holding a massive ball of three tangled cables that refused to separate. Maybe I should’ve been happy for the happy throuple, who fucking knows.

John looked even better today, if that was humanly possible.

He was in casual clothes, but since the weather had started to get chillier, he was wearing something warmer. Light blue distressed jeans and a cashmere sweater. Not a single strand had strayed from that perfect hairstyle he was rocking, and like always, I felt ridiculous compared to him.

I had grabbed literally whatever was clean and threw it on. The shirt I grabbed ended up being the one I guess I never returned to Brad. It was the shirt I changed into the morning after the Gala, after Slav had…

I shivered. Oh the memories.

Those horrid memories.

I can comfortably say that I had never experienced a hose down until that day. My stomach was already churning just thinking about the god awful dish I had to eat after that.

I vowed from that day on, to never step foot in another Ivanov’s place… Or at least I once thought that was plausible, but if Joan ended up asking for help while Brad was out, of course I was going.

I paired the almost comically oversized shirt with a pair of nicer fitted black jeans. It matched the shirt which was also black, and had some band logo I didn’t recognize. I thought everything went well- well, as well as it could given I had like five minutes to put something on, but John still gave me an odd look with his once over when I opened that door.

He didn’t say anything about it though. Instead he fixed that look with one of his easygoing smiles, bent down, and kissed me.

It was a light peck, something far too quick for my liking, but my hands were full with cables so I couldn’t bring him back down to me. I couldn’t do much of anything when he pulled away seconds later.

“Hi.” He replied. “My guess is you just woke up.”

I stepped aside to let him in. “You should take these guessing skills on Jeopardy.”

John’s smile widened. “Unfortunately, it will never be the same without Alex Trebek, may he rest in peace.”

I had the computer sitting on my coffee table, along with all the cables I meant to bring to test it once reassembled, so I moved back to that in the living room in a massive attempt to finish quickly.

I really wasn’t expecting John to walk all the way up.

“He was really quite the host.” I nodded, not noticing John had slipped off his shoes and walked over to start helping me detangle. I was going to tell him he really didn’t have to help, but then I’d be lying.

I’m sure standing in my home waiting for me to finish packing up, wouldn’t be any better. I don’t think waiting was part of John’s plans for the day.

It was only ten in the morning, but John let me know the farmers market didn’t stay open long, just ten to noon, so we were pinched for time.

And that was what made me welcome his help. And much like with everything else, John was a pro at detangling too.

“Sorry for literally never being ready whenever you come. I didn’t know you’d come all the way up, but I owe you a thank you for helping me with the wires.” I told him. A healthy dose of shame was set in my voice as he put the rest of the now wrapped chords in a bag next to my computer.

I made sure to grab my tamagotchi off my tv stand and slip it in there as well. Shimagurutchi would never forgive me for missing this play date.

“I was planning on coming up to help bring the computer down. For the parts you ordered, you had to be working with something big.” John gestured to the huge hunk of metal on the coffee table that was my baby. I gave him a nod.

“Yeah she’s got some weight to her. I don’t mind carry-” before I could even finish my sentence, John had slid one hand underneath my child, picked her up, and tucked her under his armpit like it was nothing.

I held my tongue after that, because if I were to pick it up and carry it, I was going to look like a newborn child holding a damn PS5.

John somehow made it look attractive.

I made it look like I was carrying Madame Zeroni up the mountain to avoid my family being doomed for all eternity.

He helped me bring everything out of my apartment and downstairs to his car. Then he loaded it all, while I continuously thanked him because there was no way I was going to get it situated in the back of his convertible without either dropping the hefty thing, or breaking some fingers.

And just like that, we were off.

John ended up answering a work call from Don shortly after we were on the road, so I decided to busy myself by looking out the window to the gorgeous plains that came into view. The sun was out and about today doing her thang against the rich blue sky, but that cool breeze was what dropped the temperature a bit.

It made me grateful that I grabbed a light coat on the way out the door with John. He was actually the one who insisted on it, even though I could see the sky through my apartment windows and it looked warm. Yeah, well that wind chill deceived the hell outta me.

Regardless, where John lived was a bit aways from the inner city, and I loved watching the views outside change. More trees and plaines of tall green grass came into view. More wildlife too.

John had Don on his car’s speaker so I could hear them discussing something work related, but the pleasant suprise was the hand I suddenly felt on my thigh. I glanced away from the scenic view outside to catch John’s eye. He gave me a smile, still speaking to Don about something to do with assets or something.

Listen, I just took customer service calls. Financial discussions on a director level was far above my degree and pay grade. He could’ve been talking about money laundering, and I truly wouldn’t have known.

I was paying even less attention when I felt him squeeze my thigh lightly. That practically beckoned my left hand which moved from my side to rest over his, and I smiled back.

John practically ripped his gaze back to the road seconds before we started swerving into the oncoming traffic lane. He kept his hand there though, on me… He gently started to massage the spot through these thin jeans.

By the time we made it to the farmers market, I could feel myself getting hungry. The last real thing I ate was lunch yesterday. Then I drank too much at Tully’s, and went to bed before dinner.

Now it was almost 10:45am and if I did my calculations right, this had to be the longest I had gone without food ever. I was an habitual snacker for this very reason, but John didn’t keep treats in his car like I did in mine. Or like most people should’ve done in theirs.

And though that was a criminal offense all in itself- not having snacks in your vehicle for desperate times like these, he quickly picked up on my hunger and had the first purchase at this beautiful quaint farmers market, be two Carmel apples for us.

“I could kiss you right now,” I mumbled through a moan, as the sweet caramel coated my molars indefinitely. That was the beauty of caramel. The havoc it wreaked on every crevice in your teeth without a care to give. How indulging. This delicious treat was hitting spots I didn’t know I had.

“Whenever you feel that urge, I want you to lean into it.” John replied lowly with a grin. The way he said it though, almost made me drop my half eaten caramel apple, so I forced myself to look away.

John had asked me what I felt like having him cook today, but honestly, after the ratatouille, I trusted this dear man with my life. He could’ve literally served me anything and I’d try it… so I told him I wanted to try another dish that he loved to make. That made him give me a smile I couldn’t describe as anything else but sweetness.

I got the feeling he didn’t really get to make dishes he liked as often as he should.

He asked me how I felt about fresh fish. I told him that sounded incredible. And then he got to picking out the veggies he’d need for it. He mentioned we’d pick up the fish from an Asian market that was nearby, and I replied with that sounded like a plan.

John could’ve led me into the depths of Mordor this afternoon for all I cared. I just liked spending time with him.

The only issue between this man and I was, while he was an expert at staying on track and sticking to a list… I was like a child at a fucking candy store, just stopping every two seconds to look at something. And John was like a rich busy dad that was trying to locate his kid every two seconds because the idiot decided to wander.

First I was eyeing some fresh blackberries that an older woman was selling near the entrance to the market, but before I could pull my card out of my wallet for the purchase, a crisp twenty dollar bill zoomed right past me and into the woman’s hands.

“Oh, John!” I watched as this older woman’s face lit up like a damn Christmas tree when she narrowed in on the person past me. She had given me a friendly smile while I was picking some berries out to buy, but the smile she flashed John who was standing behind me now, blew my socks off.

“Hi Cherry!” John replied. I could hear his own tenderness in his voice.

“Always a pleasure to see you, handsome. And you brought a friend. Or more than a friend?” She looked back over at me now, and I was still blown away from how that bright smile of hers changed her whole appearance. Her whole demeanor. And John had done that.

“Something like that,” John replied a bit hesitantly. The question had definitely thrown him off some. I was still taken back by just how happy this woman was to see him. It kinda made my stomach do a thing. A fluttery thing.

“Well I don’t want to keep you two lovebirds. There’s only about an hour left before we’re outta here, so go get your shopping done.” She insisted, handing the large cloth bag of packaged berries to me. John grabbed it before I could, adding the bag to the other two he was already carrying that were starting to fill with produce.

“I can carry some you know,” I told John a bit sheepishly as we started to walk deeper into the market. He just shook his head, transferring all the bags to one hand before I felt his free hand slip into mine.

Our fingers interlocked almost instinctively, and for a fleeting moment, I was nervous that others might see. Might notice. Might stare . I had never openly held another man’s hand before. Hell I’d never openly done anything intimate with another man before.

But that bit of hesitancy was quickly abolished when John gave my hand a slight squeeze. I looked around the small busy market, and no one seemed to give even a shred of a fuck about this, so I stopped myself from giving one too.

“At least let me pay for some things?” I asked him, trying to negotiate with this man and his insisted chivalry. Yes it did make my heart melt and brain mush by just how he took care of me, but I also wanted to do sweet gestures like that for him too.

“It’s a cash only place,” John explained, looking over and down at me as we walked hand in hand through the stands. “I saw you reach for your card, so I thought it was easier for me to pay since I pulled cash out prior to picking you up.”

I gave John a nod, trying to stop the blush from spreading across my cheeks. It was like this man thought of everything.

“And we don’t have to hold hands if you don’t want to.” He spoke that part little lower, probably sensing my initial hesitation. “It just helps me keep track of you.” I watched his lips tug up into a smile. I couldn’t help but return it. “I like that you like to stop and check out certain stands, but it doesn’t feel right for me to walk ahead of you, so now-” John raised our hands slightly, “when you stop, we stop .”

Yeah. O

kay .

There was no hope for how red my face got at that.

This man was going to put my goddamn heart out of service. Just take her out of commission like that, so early in the game too.

“I- I um…”

Words Derek, please. I’m begging you.

“I like that. This .” I raised our locked hands slightly much like John had, signaling to them and him with a shy smile.

••

34. No, I’m Asexual, Not A Sexual

Double uploaddd:)

Have a great weekend lovelies, I’ll see y’all Monday!

xoxo

John

I was beyond words exhausted when I woke up Saturday.

I mean I practically crawled out of bed, barely making it to the alarm on my dresser before it took the volume up a notch with its second set of rings.

I had moved my alarm clock all the way over here because Marty had us up at all hours of the fucking night yesterday. I didn’t trust myself to get up in time if I could easily reach an arm across and flip this obnoxious thing off.

By the time I showered, changed, did my hair, pulled a random assortment of clothes on, and fed Herold, it was already time to go pick Derek up. I gave him a call to let him know I was on my way, and from how it sounded, he seemed pretty alert himself.

That’s why I was fully surprised by how tired he looked at ten in the morning once I got there. Well, there was something else that surprised me to…

I glanced back at the shirt Derek was wearing as I finally drove us back to my place from the Asian market. It was now going on two in the afternoon.

The shirt was one I recognized instantly,because Brad and I went shopping together years ago and I forced him to buy it. Technically it was an inside joke between us, relating to a girl he was seeing in college who invited us out to this concert.

The concert took place under a laundromat, which for one was fucking weird to begin and the reason why Christian decided not to go.

That had to be one of the few times in my life I regretted not taking that man’s advise.

The Brad today wouldn’t have been caught dead in that establishment either, but college Brad was game for anything. And he really liked this girl. She brought a girl friend who I obviously wasn’t interested in, but decided to keep it polite. I wasn’t one hundred percent open with my sexuality back then. Especially around new people.

The band was called The Annihilators…

And they just about annihilated Brad and I’s will to fucking live that night.

An absolute wreck is what they were. From sound production, to vocals, to pitch.

I’ll never forget how terrible that performance was- they were so bad, Brad and I just left without saying a word to either or our dates, then we got drunk at an Irish pub next door. Brad asked the live band in there to play something, anything to drown out what we had just heard across the street, to which they happily obliged.

The girls joined us after the show, but we were far too drunk at that point to care about hearing how much fun they had. I’m very sure that at some point, Brad looked at them dead in their eyes and said his ears almost bled from how dogshit that band was.

Safe to say we never heard from them again.

When I saw this shirt in an old vintage store Brad and I stopped through a few years later, I made sure he bought it. It was an incredibly niche thing.

So I was wondering how the hell Derek managed to get ahold of it.

Once we reached home, Herold made his usual chaotic rounds, jumping up onto Derek as soon as he slipped his shoes off and set the bags of groceries on the kitchen island. I tasked him with bringing in the bags while I grabbed the computer.

At least the fur demon waited till Derek’s hands weren’t full before he pounced. I watched as I set Derek’s computer on my coffee table in the living room, then headed to the kitchen to give him a hand.

“Oh my god, Herold!” Derek laughed as he helped Herold up into his arms. This man was literally the first person I’ve seen to allow Herold to do that. I couldn’t tell whether Derek’s skin was made of steel, or if my other friends were all just weak.

“One of these days it’ll get easier.” I told this gorgeous man with a mostly promising smile, but the smile on his face as he looked back at me, made mine spread across my lips. He didn’t seem to mind at all.

I started unpacking everything we bought. Derek had had the time of his life at the Asian market, he ended up picking out a bunch of different fruity drinks and treats he wanted to try. I tried to ring them up with what I was buying, but he snuck away to the cashier counter while I was selecting a cut for the late lunch.

I went with fresh salmon.

Derek finally managed to literally peel Herold off of him before setting him back on the floor. I spent the time he took unpacking the parts and cables for his PC, to prep the food. There was a period of marinating time where I could work on the computer with him uninterrupted.

And though I started off strong, getting the bigger parts out of the way, not even a manual and the many many google searches while Derek wasn’t looking, could prepare me for the rest of this rebuild. The first few parts weren’t difficult to find and replace, but as we removed more pieces, digging deeper into the computer, I was struggling to pinpoint things with google searches, and Marty was growing increasingly confused by every SOS text I sent him.

I made a good excuse to step away from the PC, by checking on the marinading salmon in the kitchen. Derek continued to study the manual in the living room while I pulled out the container from the fridge, then pulled out my phone.

Thoughts of what I was going to have to bribe this man with started circulating through my mind as soon as I gave Marty a call.

He picked up on the fourth ring.

“John, your texts are making absolutely no damn sense.”

“ I know ,“ I said quietly, glancing over my shoulder at Derek who was now also searching something from the manual, on his phone. “I need your help.”

“I’m literally running a store right now.”

I pulled the lid off the container, examining the large freshly cut fillets of salmon. I wanted to add just a bit more lemon to the marinade. “You can close for a few hours, can’t you?”

“Johnathan Emil Terry, I know you’re not suggesting-”

“I’ll pay you what you would’ve lost in sales.” I cut in. “It won’t be long, we’ve made really good progress-”

“I literally have a business to run-”

“And I’m in the middle of cooking-” I continued.

The line went quiet after that, for a while. A long while.

“…You’re cooking?” He spoke finally.

I held the phone against my ear with my shoulder, before grabbing a lemon from the counter and placing it on my set out chopping board. “Yes, I’m cooking.”

“…Whatchya making?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Salmon. Lots of it. With roasted potatoes and vegetables.”

There was another long pause.

“…Alright. I’ll be there in thirty. Leash that demon of yours.”

Then he hung up.

“So,” I said, taking a seat on my living room floor beside Derek, who was still looking through the computer manual like his life depended on it. “I must make a confession…” Derek glanced up from the manual to me, listening intently. “I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing past this point,” I gestured to his gutted computer, “However, I do know someone who does.”

The emotions on Derek’s face went all over the place from that revelation, but he looked hopeful at that last bit.

“He actually built my PC,” I explained. That got Derek smiling. “You remember Marty right? I think he should be here in about twenty minutes or so to help out.”

Derek froze, before his eyebrows furrowed a bit in confusion. “Marty?” He asked.

Derek

Okay, yes, I was well aware that I shouldn’t have still felt this way about Marty.

But in my defense, I was too busy focused on the whole Pierre thing to remember that there was still the whole Marty thing. So many fucking things to keep track of.

John nodded to me, as he laid out more parts on the coffee table. “Yeah he does stuff like this as a side hustle. He’s definitely far more versed at it than I am.”

I slowly nodded, unable to figure out what expression I had on my face currently. I was hoping it wasn’t as tight as I felt. It took a good amount in me to force whatever jealousy I was feeling bubbling up, back down.

So the guy owns a comic book store AND can build PC’s…

I guess what they say is true, that god or the universe or whatever must favor a few. Cause what the fuck was this?

The feeling of wanting to say fuck it to this whole project, and just ask Alex about it later down the road, quickly washed over me. But my need to play the new Arkham game with the best graphics in literal weeks, outweighed all of that.

I eventually swallowed every last bit of my pride, and forced a smile when we heard John’s doorbell ring a little while later.

“Oh wow,” Marty nodded, looking over each remaining part we had left to replace. “These are better upgrades than I thought.”

It was getting really fucking hard to keep this tight friendly smile going. I told myself that what he just said couldn’t possibly be a jab at my setup or my finances, but his words only mixed in with the growing jealousy like gas to a flame.

This all started with the hug John gave him as soon as he entered the living room. One that may have only lasted one second, but it was a second too long.

Derek , I warned myself, they’re friends. It’s fine.

But once Marty got to work with disassembling and reassembling pieces, I felt my agitation growing.

Of course John would just so happen to have a handsome friend that can do literally everything under the damn sun. Of course he fucking would.

John continued to work on lunch, heating up the oven and washing, cleaning, then slicing potatoes. He’d since put on some light jazz to cook to while Marty showed me more about my computer setup.

I didn’t want to listen to a thing this man said, but I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t a good instructor. He had a steady hand for the small screws, and kept everything meticulously placed for easy reassembly. He was insanely organized, just the complete opposite of me.

I was so enthralled with his movements, I almost didn’t hear John say “I’m running out to the shed to grab food for Herold. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Marty responding with a “sounds good” was what made me register John’s words and that he even left.

Speaking of Herold, I wasn’t sure what Marty did to him, or vice versa, but that cat fucking hated him.

I mean right now as we sat on the living room floor, Herold remained right on top of John’s fridge in the kitchen, glaring at him. It took John a minute to get the little guy to stop hissing at Marty, who was hurling insults right back like a ping pong match.

Hiss .

“You spawn of satan.”

Hiss .

“You devil reincarnate.”

Hiss .

Just back and forth while John put himself between the two, trying to play referee.

I should’ve known it was going to be a problem immediately, when the first thing that tumbled past Marty’s lips once he walked down the corridor into the open space, was “make sure you keep that fucking stray away from me.”

And since then, the two sent menacing looks at each other every chance they could find.

Marty pulled me from my thoughts again by his next few choice of questions. First he asked “so what’s up with you and me?”

My head whipped away from the exposed computer, to look at him.

“ W

What? “ I asked. Marty kept his gaze on the computer part he was unscrewing. It was another panel.

“You don’t seem to like me much.” He continued. “Did I do or say something?”

I turned back to the kitchen looking for help, only to remember that John had already left to get food for Herold. It was just me and Marty now. Well, and Herold. He was still staring at Marty from above the fridge, slowly licking his paw.

“I…” I spoke slowly over the quiet jazz. “Well, have you and… well have you…” my words were suddenly caught in my throat, unsure of how to get them out correctly. Or really at all . “Have you two… You a-and John-… have you like ever…”

Up until this point, Marty had continued working while we chatted. This was when his hands finally slowed to a stop, and he looked back over at me.

“John didn’t tell you?” He asked.

I felt my heart drop to my pit of my stomach as I slowly shook my head no. This was when I swore I could hear my heartbeat quicken, sounds like light drums. I was no longer thrown off anymore, just a bit… devastated? A bit being a fucking understatement right now.

“We did-…”

I don’t think I wanted to hear more honestly. I should’ve just shut up to begin with.

“Well we tried, but that was many many years ago. And it didn’t work out. Like at all.”

My body stilled so hard I thought my heartbeat did too. I felt my eyebrows furrowed some at that.

“I couldn’t get hard. He couldn’t stay hard. Asexuality can really put a fork in the road. Switch your perspectives on relationships moving forward.”

My eyebrows only furrowed deeper as Marty continued, still looking over at me.

“Asexuality…” he said a bit slower. “I’m asexual.”

I slowly nodded. The rusty gears in my head were working hard to continue shifting. “I mean, I’m also a sexual person… I think most people are?” I offered back.

Marty shook his head. “No no, I’m asexual , not a sexual.”

I just stared at him at this point. “That’s… is that not the same thing?”

“No,” Marty continued, also looking a bit bewildered now but still a little hopeful too, “I’m not saying I am a sexual person, I’m asexual . One word. It means I don’t have any sexual desires or feelings like that for a person.”

My brain was trying to process what Marty was saying, but I eventually turned to the pinnacle of my foundation: Google. Running a quick search on my phone, good ol New Oxford American Dictionary told me exactly what Marty was getting at.

“Oh…” I more or less whispered, rereading the definition again and again. “ Oh…“

“Yeah…” Marty nodded. “I promise you, you have nothing to worry about. That man is absolutely taken with you. Completely smitten. He’s never touched the inner workings of a computer a day before in his damn life, and he still spent close to eight hours having me teach him last night just so he could help you. That’s some next level simping if you ask me.”

My brain was so fucking scrambled by the google search, and what that meant, I almost missed what Marty had said after.

But as soon as I registered it, I felt my whole body grow warm. That familiar fuzzy feeling spreading through me till I could feel it down to my curled up toes.

Just so he could help you…

“He… he did that?”

Marty nodded.

“Yeah and from the look of things based solely off what I taught him yesterday, he remembered an impressive amount.”

••

35. So Is This Like A Self Serve Situation? Buffet Style?

I’m back lovelies! Sorta!

Lol I’m changing the next few chapters as we speak, to find a happy medium between fluff and smut… but you’ve been warned, it’s going to get pretty explicit ;)

Enjoy!

xoxo

Warning: Explicit Content (kinda, sorta a bit, maybe… you be the judge lol)

John

I glanced back over at the source of the laughter that filled the living room as I finished making the dressing for the side salad I was putting together. The salmon was almost done in the oven.

Marty and Derek were joking about something, but I couldn’t hear them well over the light jazz since the Bluetooth speaker was in the kitchen with me.

I was still confused on what the hell was going on with those two. I had only been gone for about five to ten minutes, but when I returned, the energy in my home had completely changed.

For starters, Herold was now sitting in Derek’s lap on the floor. That wasn’t the craziest part though, the craziest part was the fact that Marty was still sitting beside Derek working on the computer. I’d never seen Herold willingly choose to be this close to Marty, especially without hissing.

Derek was giving him a full body massage though, so that must’ve been some incentive for him to act somewhat civilized.

The other weird thing was how close Marty and Derek had suddenly become. It wasn’t like they were fighting or anything before, but I could tell Derek didn’t really seem to like him much.

I meant to pull Derek aside after feeding Herold to ask him if everything was okay, but by the time I got back from the shed with Herold’s wet food, everything had seemed to magically resolve itself.

And now I couldn’t help but stare as Marty made some side comment and Derek laughed, then vice versa.

Derek seemed to be really focused on putting everything back together, so much so, they were almost done by the time I wrapped up cooking. The stove clock told me it was now going on almost five in the evening.

Going off the business hours Marty would argue I didn’t care to memorize because of how often I abused them, I knew Marty would have to go back to the store right after eating. He still needed to do a full close before opening again tomorrow, and I knew he wouldn’t want to do that in the morning.

Marty was not a morning person. At all. If it wasn’t for owning that store, and the responsibilities that came with it, he’d be fully nocturnal.

This was what made me rush to get everything completely done. Because I knew both my guests could eat a whole lot, I made sure to make extra sides. There was warm buns, salad, a fruit salad from all the fruit Derek decided to buy at the farmers market, and fried asparagus, in addition to the roasted potatoes and veggies that cooked perfectly with the salmon.

I basically made enough to feed a growing family of twelve. And somehow I was still telling myself this might not be enough.

The salmon was pretty much done, so I decided I’d just let it sit in the hot oven for another minute of two. Everything else was ready to be set on the dining room table, and it was a nice surprise when Derek joined me in the kitchen to help.

“Oh you don’t have to-” I started, but Derek shook his head.

“I want to help.”

The look in his eyes told me he wasn’t budging, so I let him. Plus, setting the table together felt… nice. It felt domestic. Derek would shoot me a smile whenever his eyes caught mine, and I couldn’t help but return it.

I wanted to ask him what I missed in the ten minutes I went outside for, but I didn’t want to risk it with Marty so close. I didn’t want to put Derek on the spot like that, especially if whatever the hell they had talked about to resolve their differences was more personal.

Instead, I settled on a less pressing but still important topic of discussion. Once Derek returned to the kitchen after setting the plates neatly around the dining table, I asked a question that’s been on my mind since the second Derek opened his front door for me this morning.

“That’s Brad’s shirt, right?”

Derek looked down at the large shirt he was wearing almost to verify what he had on.

“Oh yeah. Do you recognize the band?” He asked, moving a bit closer to where I was near the stove. I watched him take yet another small step towards me, but the look in his eyes changed some. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking… not that I really ever could.

“Yeah.” I nodded to him, my eyes casting down to where his fingers grabbed at the hem of the material. He lifted it up slightly, revealing a small bit of his bare lower waist that lead to the band of his briefs. Jesus . “I recognize it.”

Derek took another step forward. This one put him just an arms length away from me now. I glanced back behind me at Marty who was still keeping himself busy with the final touches on the computer.

“Was this what you’ve been looking at all day?”

My face got a bit heated when my eyes found Derek’s again. Was I that obvious?

“I just- I was curious, that’s all.”

Derek smiled up at me. “Well if you must know, I got really drunk off Slav’s liquor the night of the Gala and puked on my shirt the next morning. Christian and Brad got me a change of clothes from Brad’s closet since we all spent the night at his place.”

Oh.

Yeah, no, hearing Slav’s liquor was involved was enough for me, but when I saw pain flash briefly across Derek’s face, I knew it must’ve been worse than he was letting on.

“Does it look bad?” He continued, gesturing to his outfit.

I shook my head no. “No I just- I…” this next part was the trickiest to get out without sounding like a crazy obsessed lover boy. I focused back on chopping the cilantro for garnishing as I said “I just rather see you in your clothes… or mine .”

I forced myself to focus on chopping, but when I felt Derek’s hand on my upper arm, I quickly slowed to a stop.

“Why don’t you…” his voice grew light from somewhere beside me. He whispered this last part. “Why don’t you find me something else to wear then? Something of yours.”

The last thing I remembered saying to Marty before dragging Derek down the hall towards my bedroom, was along the lines of “I spilt something on Derek’s shirt. Be right back.”

Marty barely even acknowledged us, but the small smile playing on his lips told me he had picked up on the strained urgency in my voice.

I barely even managed to get my bedroom door closed before Derek was on me, and that took me fully by surprise. I immediately pushed him back against the door, melting against his soft lips as he kissed me in a way he hadn’t before.

I could feel how desperately he wanted me against him. To touch him. He moved my hands that already had a tight grip on his waist, lower. I couldn’t help but groan into this quickly escalating kiss, feeling Derek shudder against me when I grabbed his ass.

Fuck , I was already started to get light headed. I could feel all that blood rushing from one head to my other.

His hands were trying to avoid my hair. He was probably worried he’d ruin the style, especially now that we had company just down the hall, but I wasn’t having any of that.

Instead I brought them to those loose golden strands, encouraging Derek to go crazy. His teeth slowly grazed my bottom lip, which was an action that forced me even closer to him, pushing him harder against the closed door.

“ Fuck .“ I mumbled that against Derek’s lips, hearing soft moans escape him. Then I slid a leg between his, and the gasp he released made him break the kiss, tightening his grip on my hair while his body shook again. This time with far less control.

He was rock hard against my upper thigh, and just that simple thought was driving me insane.

I latched those lips onto his neck, and Derek started to unravel beneath me. My leg shifted, rubbing up against his hard on more roughly than before, and Derek dipped his head into the area near my collarbone to try and muffle his more explicit moans.

“J-John-” I heard him groan against me.

Fuck .

I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed just a bit more of him. Just a taste. Marty would understand.

My fingers latched onto the hem of Derek- or I guess Brad’s shirt, and pulled it clean off the shorter man. I tossed it somewhere behind me, making a note to return it to Brad myself later on.

We were going to have words about carelessly giving away something that obviously should’ve meant the world to him.

That shirt was going to come off anyways considering I was going to get Derek something from my own closet, but feeling Derek start to tug up on my own sweater was too much for me to say no to. Feeling his bare chest against mine… how was I possibly meant to say no to that?

Well unluckily for me, I didn’t have to.

The next thing I heard wasn’t another moan from Derek like I was hoping. It was Marty yelling from my living room.

“So is this like a self serve situation?” He called out to us, his voice traveling down the corridor. “Buffet style? Also Herold, no- no! John, come get your fucking cat!”

My body slowed, my hand reaching up into Derek’s hair so I could pull his head away from my chest and tilt it up towards me again. I bent down to gently rest my forehead against his, before I gave his now swollen lips a soft kiss. Derek hummed slightly into it, making my grip involuntarily tighten in his hair. I could feel his labored breathes against my lips. I still felt his hard cock against my upper thigh.

I loved how I made his heartbeat quicken. I loved every bit of his reactions to my touch. How hard I made him. Those soft uncontrollable moans…

“I should go get Herold before we have a repeat of last summer.” I mumbled to this beautiful man. “I think that was the closest they last came to killing each other.”

Derek smiled softly, then he did something else unexpected. He leaned up on the balls of his feet and kissed me again. Just a slow, gentle kiss.

Fuck

…

How was I supposed to leave this now.

Leave him? I felt like I was being drugged with every kiss-

“Ayo- John! This fucking cat man- Herold, let go! “

I sighed against Derek’s lips. His hands slowly detangled themselves from my hair before I finally forced myself to pull away completely.

“I’ll be there in a minute!” I called out to Marty, then I turned back to my dresser and began rummaging through for something for Derek. A shirt that would most likely fit him better than anything Brad could offer.

Brad was absolutely just shy of a giant… And Derek was the complete opposite of that.

By the time we made it back to the dining room, Marty had already finished putting the rest of the computer bits back together, and connected all the chords for testing. Now he was sat patiently at the dining table with his eyes fixated on each dish.

The new scratches on his bare arms didn’t go unnoticed, neither did the glare Herold was now giving him from his place on the couch’s arm rest.

These two took the whole sworn enemies thing to great new heights, I swear.

Marty’s eyes found mine as Derek and I joined him. His eyebrow raised when his gaze lifted to my now messed up hair, but he didn’t say anything about it.

“Alright alright, let’s dig in.”

And so we did.

I continued to look between Derek and Marty as they continued to get along great. They were chatting up a storm sitting side by side across from me.

“I really was serious when I said you’ve got a good set up. That had to cost you a pretty penny,” Marty spoke, taking a sip of water in between bites of salmon.

I was still on cloud nine from all the gushing compliments Derek had gave the food. I mean Marty also gave his compliments to the chef, but it was different with Derek.

Marty just had a fast metabolism so he ate constantly. But he could also eat pretty much anything.

Derek, although also having what seemed to be a fast metabolism, had a unique appreciation for flavor. He was able to pick out specific spices just from taste, and honestly just continued to baffle me with how refined his pallet was.

It genuinely made me happy to cook for him, because he had this way of making my cooking feel genuinely appreciated. It was the sweetest fucking thing.

“Yeah at this rate, I’ll be working overtime at Ivanov Corp till I die,” Derek replied, using his hand to cover his mouth as he chewed. With every bite, I saw his eyes close briefly, like he was savoring every bit of it, and I just wanted to reach across this table and kiss him. When the hell was Marty leaving again?

“Well if you’re looking to work some extra hours at a place that isn’t as crazy as Ivanov Corp, I host Magic The Gathering Tournaments once a week at the store, and was looking for a judge. Do you play?”

Derek’s eyes lit up. “You’re joking.”

“Dead serious,” Marty smiled.

I was, once again, completely lost. Derek would barely give this guy the time of day mere hours ago, and now it’s like they were long lost buds.

“I would be absolutely honored to, oh my god.”

Both Marty and Derek looked like they’d just hit a jackpot at a Vegas casino or something.

And this energy continued all through dinner. Hell, I was the one who had to remind Marty that he didn’t actually close the store yet. At some point, he seemed like he didn’t want to leave.

I loved that him and Derek were getting along now, but I also desperately wanted some alone time with Derek before Don and I had to jump on yet another work call tonight. The call we had while I was driving to the market, just brought up more pressing issues we needed to sort out as soon as possible.

Regardless of whatever the hell I wanted, Marty still left my place by six, and I needed to drive Derek home so I could make it to the call with Don at seven. I was planning on catching yet another red-eye back home Sunday night, to be at my office in New York Monday morning, and Don was shooting shit at me left and right in preparation for my first set of meetings.

I walked Marty out first, while Derek stayed with Herold to keep him at bay. Herold was trying to get his last word in with his paws, and since Marty had ate and refueled that fully charged turbo thing he called a body, he too was ready for a repeat of last summer.

“So,” I started, letting go of him after giving him a goodbye hug, “when do you think you’ll be free next?”

Marty looked at me suspiciously. “Why?”

“Well, if Derek’s going to be judging some Magic tournaments, maybe it’s high time I actually learn how to play?”

Marty gave me a smile. “Lose my number, John.”

I nodded, clocking this response before I even asked.

“Love you too, Marty. Get back safe.”

••

36. Pineapple

I was in the fight of my life tryna get this transition chapter written, so hopefully it doesn’t suck.

The next chapter or two is straight smut (I’m so mf excited) which I’m still working on writing, but they should (universe willing) go up before I’m out of town this Thursday!

Enjoy, m’lovelies

xoxo

John

Driving Derek home had to be top five on the list of shit I was hoping I just wouldn’t have to do.

But alas, here we were.

I helped him pack up everything, watching on with surprised levels of excitement, as he showed me his pet Shima and just how he went about feeding him. It was the cutest thing- the Tamagotchi. I made a silent promise to the little guy that I would answer all his pressing questions at a later date, seeing as how I had to get his dad home soon.

I insisted Derek take the rest of the packed up leftovers. He told me he shouldn’t clear me out, but I reminded him that Marty had openly packed three additional servings, and Derek couldn’t let that human vacuum of a man one up him like that.

I could tell Derek had picked up on the fact that Marty would eat anything, and therefore couldn’t appreciate the meal like he did. That was enough insisting for him to get some Tupperware packed in a bag.

We were now on the freeway, heading back to Derek’s place. My hand was on his thigh again cause it just felt like it fit there. His hand was rested over mine comfortably while he stared out the window at the changing scenery.

I decided I felt comfortable enough to ask him about the more prominent question weighing on my mind today. “What was going on with you and Marty?”

Derek turned back to me from his gaze out the window, as the city slowly came into view.

“You two seemed to work some things out when I was gone,” I added.

Derek’s cheeks grew rosy. “Y-Yeah we um- we had a conversation.”

“A conversation?” I asked.

“You um…” Derek continued, “you never mentioned you and Marty dated.”

Oh.

I focused back on the road again.

Right .

“Or that he was… well, that he was asexual.”

Oh…

Right .

Yep, nope I definitely forgot about that one too.

I pulled my eyes away from the long stretch of the freeway to glance back at Derek. “I’m so sorry, I completely forgot about Marty and I’s… unique dynamic. I swear we’re just good friends now.”

Derek kept his eyes on me, almost determined not to look away again, but his words were far less bold. “I um- well I was… see, I didn’t know at that time that you two had… or that he was… especially when you two were…”

I slowly nodded, understanding what Derek was trying (and sorta failing) to get at. Now the weirdness from earlier today was making a hell of a lot more sense.

“I’m sorry,” I continued, “I should’ve told you.”

There was no part of me that meant to keep that particular detail from Derek… but knowing all his weirdness was really just jealousy, made me feel some inexplicable things. I told myself not to smile no matter how hard I wanted to, cause Derek’s feelings on this were valid.

Even if they did kinda turn me on.

Derek nodded, then I watched as his lips twitched up into a slight smile.

“It’s okay.” He assured me. “He’s a pretty solid bloke, isn’t he?”

My eyes turned back to the road, but I could feel myself starting to smile. “Yeah he’s a great friend. Feels like I’ve known him for decades, but I guess that’s how it feels about most of my friends from college. They all knew me before the money.”

And that part rung truer than I was willing to admit. I was riding on scholarships for my days at Stanford. Same with Marty. Most of the people there were like Christian and Brad, who didn’t have to worry about tuition and board.

The unique friendship we all formed was surprisingly some of the most organic shit to come out of a campus full of pretentious bobble heads.

Derek’s hand squeezed mine as I watched his smile widen through my peripheral. Then he glanced back out the window again. I wasn’t sure how much time passed before he spoke again.

“Can I ask you a question?” He kept his gaze out the window when he said that, and for a second I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me. It was a stupid thought considering the only souls in this moving vehicle was myself, Derek, and Shima.

I tried to memorize the curve of the bridge we were driving onto, before glancing back at Derek. “Go for it.”

Derek took a moment before he replied, still keeping his gaze out the window as if he was fixated on something. “What kind of sex are you into?”

…

I almost drove this car into the fucking river.

My hand swerved left on the steering at the last possible moment before my headlight collided with the cement barriers.

“I-” I stopped myself a moment, contemplating how the hell to answer that . And if I should pull the car over to do so. I had damn near almost sent us off the bridge for christ sake. “What do you mean?” I finally settled on.

Derek turned to me again, his expression still unreadable besides the obvious awkwardness from the question. “Do you… well do you like it vanilla. Or um-” Derek paused a second. “O-Or not vanilla.”

“I don’t-” I started again, my eyes darting back and forth between Derek and the road. Was I still going the right way? A GPS would’ve helped in this instance, but I knew I memorized Derek’s way home from the first night I dropped him off after the wedding. “I don’t think we need to delve into all that just yet.”

There was a look in his eyes. Something I didn’t have the time to figure it out. I was still trying to figure out whether this upcoming exit was the right one. “Humor me,” Derek countered, using the same remark I had said when I asked him to tell me about his graphic novel idea.

Well, fuck.

I decided I owed this man a bit of transparent honesty. We’d barely started exploring this relationship, and I had already had two exes come up. That had to be a record for how much of a mess I could come off as, in such a short period of time.

“I’ve been more or less involved in a BDSM lifestyle for a while now.” I admitted to him. “But that doesn’t- it doesn’t define me of course. Nor do I need it, it’s just a preference. Im perfectly fine with not perusing any of that with you.”

Derek’s fingers fidgeted with the loose fabric strand of his jeans, but his hand still remained over my own. I could feel his him move against me, drawing my gaze back there… which was a mistake. I noticed the growing bulge in Derek’s pants almost immediately.

You’re driving, John. Please.

“What if I…” he trailed off. I pulled off onto the exit that I was just praying was correct at this point, because barely any bit of my attention was on this road anymore.

I honestly should’ve pulled the car over, but seeing Derek’s apartments in the distance gave me hope.

“What if I wanted to try that?”

The car suddenly dipped into the ditch off the road a bit, before I realized I hadn’t made a tight enough turn leading up to the intersection’s light.

Fucking hell.

Luckily the car pulled up to a red light.

“I uh- well… well we haven’t-” I started. That light didn’t even give me a second to breathe before it turned green with the arrow, so I reluctantly took a left. “We haven’t exactly gone that far. I think it’s better that we explore things without all the kinks.”

Derek was silent while I turned into his apartment complex’s parking lot. My face had to be redder than the light we just stopped at, with the direction this conversation was quickly nosediving in. His next set of words threw me off completely, as if his previous set hadn’t already. “I might not have had sex- well, gay sex anyways, that doesn’t mean I’m all that innocent either… and, well, I… I trust you.”

The grip my left hand had on that steering wheel had to be lethal. Especially with how hard I was trying to control the grip on Derek’s thigh.

“I just want to make you feel as good as you make me,” he added.

This steering wheel was now seconds away from being ripped clean off. Yeah those words definitely solidified every urge and fantasy I had ever conjured up with Derek. I was unintentionally already thinking of the things I wanted to try.

“Are you… are you sure?” I asked him, refusing to feed into my less innocent desires. The way this man was looking at me damn near made me forget how to ninety degree back in park. I almost hit the car on my left when I straightened the vehicle out.

“Will you…” Derek started in almost a whisper, forcing my eyes back to his. I felt the car jerk forward slightly after being thrown into park. “…Will you come upstairs and show me?”

I don’t even know how I got my shit together after that. All I could do was nod to him, lost for words, before I killed the engine and reached back behind us to grab his computer.

“You know,” Derek started, staring across his living room table at my fingers that were moving at the speed of light. I was typing out a hasty response to Don’s alarmed email.

I had told him we needed to reschedule our call tonight.

He told me to take these searching skills to the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System (NamUs) because he didn’t know where I managed to find Ms. Audacity. Then he told me he’d be calling in fifteen.

I then had to insist that I was serious about the reschedule, and that we’d definitely find time later. He had my word.

He proceeded to ask me whether I was really questioning the ancient Egyptians and their conception of time.

I, against my better judgement, asked him what the hell that meant.

He shot a response back seconds later, asking me whether I was going to step away from the very principled twenty-four hours in a day to magically create more, considering my flight back was Sunday night.

I was now responding with one lengthy game plan that freed up my night tonight, but would subsequently ruin whatever free time I had tomorrow. I decided it was just a risk I was willing to take, because this was a conversation with Derek was one that we needed to have.

“When I asked you to show me,” Derek continued, “I expected a whole lot more showing. And thought it would take place in my bedroom,” he grumbled that part more to himself, clearly thinking I wasn’t paying as much attention since I was still typing out this long ass reply.

“Well,” I glanced at him, noticing Derek’s head whipped up in slight surprise. “We need to establish a few things first. And if we head to your bedroom now, I won’t be in the mood for doing much talking.”

That got Derek’s face heated. He crossed his arms over his chest like I’d just told him no to dessert. “Is this like a fifty shades of grey thing?” My brows creased some in confusion as I hit send on my response to Don. I had no idea what he was talking about. “It’s like a BDSM book to film adapta-… never mind it’s not important, will there be a contract or something?”

I shook my head. “A contract is crazy.”

“That book and movie will change your entire perspective on just what crazy is. Did you know it’s based off Twilight?”

I visibly cringed. “That was… that was a choice. From all parties involved.”

Derek nodded. “You have no idea.”

I saw Don’s email replies come through at the top banner of my phone for notifications, but I ignored them for a moment. This conversation had taken yet another turn I wasn’t expecting. “Well I’m almost positive that this won’t be that. I haven’t seen the movies or read the books, but I would literally bet my life on it.”

Derek’s eyes caught mine. “Will there be anal beads?”

I choked on a bit of my own spit. This conversation was going to age the hell outta me.

“I think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves here.” I set my buzzing phone back on Derek’s dining room table, still ignoring Don. “I don’t plan on all that just yet. For now I just want to get a general consent to things. Remember, this is just consent for now, if you want to stop at any time before or during, we stop. You can revoke your consent at any time. Your decisions now are never and will never be set in stone, I can’t stress that enough.”

Derek gave me a nod. His hands relaxed back into his lap with my words, and I watched his eyes soften some.

“Speaking of which, one of the most common things we should establish, is the vocal communication of a clear boundary.” I continued. “With most of my previous partners, we used the stop light method during intimacy. This is when you’d either say red, yellow, or green depending on your comfortability levels to the different things we might want to try.”

“Like a safe word?” Derek asked.

I nodded. “Exactly. We could use a safe word if you like that better.” I didn’t really have a preference on this one. It was whatever Derek felt most comfortable with. “Any word in mind? It should be unique enough that it wouldn’t slip past your lips on accident. Something that’ll tether me to your needs immediately, telling me to stop.”

Derek gnawed on the inside of his cheek as he thought about this a moment. “What about pineapple?”

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but somehow, for Derek, this made sense.

“Pineapple is good.” I nodded. “How comfortable are you with restraints? Like I said, we can stop at any time during, this is just a precursor. A placeholder for your consent.”

Derek took another second before he finally nodded. I just looked at him expectantly. “Y-Yes.” He confirmed verbally, starting to pick up on just how important clear communication was. How important this conversation was to me, and how important it should be to him.

“Good,” I made a mental note, picking up my phone again to briefly check Don’s messages.

He was going on and on about the now tight-knit schedule for tomorrow. How lovely.

I was so enthralled in shooting Don a final message for tonight, but my thoughts were immediately cut off by Derek’s hand that gently rested itself on top of my arm. My fingers froze, hovered over the phone’s keyboard.

I hadn’t even noticed he had stood up from his place across the dining room table, and walked towards me.

“Now,” his eyes held my gaze as I looked up from the phone screen to him. “Is it finally time for you to do less telling… and more showing? “

I set my phone down before I could even finish my response to Don. Then I gave this inexplicably beautiful man one devilish smile.

“I suppose it is.”

••

37. Y-You Can Um… You Can Go A Little Tighter

Hello m’lovelies!!

Lol I didn’t die y’all, I was just out of town for a bit

(a funeral)

but I’m back!

Because I’m late to everything rn, here’s a little gift while I finish writing the rest of th

is

smut

scene

.

This chap is about 3000 words so it should hopefully hold y’all over till I get things edited and uploaded at the end of the week.

Bear in mind ya girl is a whole artist and Accountant in addition to writer so as we approach year end, my already weird upload schedule will be getting weirder lol

Thanks so much for hanging in there with me y’all, I love you guys so damn much

xoxo

Enjoy!

Warning: Explicit Content

;)

Derek

I led John to my bedroom. This should’ve been a momentous moment- we were finally getting some alone time after all, but all I could think about was what state my room was possibly in.

I barely remembered how the hell I left it when I went into a state of panic this morning, but when I cracked that door open, I was grateful the only thing a mess was my bed. I had my comforter pushed over to the edge of the mattress, displaying my silk beige sheets.

The sound of the door closing behind me only excelerated my heart rate, but when I moved to the edge of the bed to try and at least somewhat fix the comforter, I felt myself being pulled back against something by my waist. It was John. He turned me around to face him.

“I promise you, I have no intention of keeping your bed made.” He was staring down at me now, his hands still at my waist holding me flush against him. I felt him pull at the hem of the graphic tee he gave me. It was a Halo Reach shirt and I couldn’t figure out what I loved about it more.

The fact that is was Halo, one of the greatest gaming franchises created in the history of gaming, argue with your imaginary friend .

Or the fact that it smelt like John.

Anyways the shirt was off in an instant. I raised my hands, gladly helping John pull it off. His eyes raked over my body, from my collarbone down to my navel.

Unlike my struggle with John’s belt, he managed to unbuckle and pull mine off with such ease, I wondered if this was equivalent to my expertise skills with unclasping bras.

John tossed the belt somewhere. I only knew it was tossed by the thud it made when it hit the floor beside us. I just watched John as his eyes continued to darken. I thought he was going to pull my jeans down, but instead, I heard him whisper “ get on the bed .“

The way he said that made me spin around so quickly, I almost forgot I close I was to the mattress.

I propped two pillows up against the metal bars of my headboard, then climbed on, leaning against the soft padded material to watch John again. His eyes were still on me, and this time I knew I was staring back with as much eagerness as he was. John was shirtless now, his sweater tossed near my belt on the floor.

There was no way I couldn’t stare. Every single fiber of this man’s being was a work of art, painted by closeted artist who ignored all their class assignments until the final project, and was shooting for an A as a semester grade. Rent was in fact due, when the universe created this one.

My eyes trailed every inch, from his broad shoulders, to his lean muscular chest… down those carved defined abs…

I finally landed on his hands, that were undoing his own belt buckle. I watched him pull the leather strap out of the all the loops in one fluid motion, but when I thought he was going to discard the belt like he had done mine, he didn’t.

Instead he walked towards the bed.

Any senseless thought I had wandering around this mixed bag I call a brain, was obliterated immediately when John got onto the mattress and straddled me. My dick was already pushing up against the tight jean fabric through my briefs. He looked… goddamn. The light from my bedside lamp was the only thing I left on from last night and this morning, and the warm glow it cast against John’s sun kissed skin, made him look even more heavenly.

I was started to get a bit self conscious. Like how could a man like this first exist, and second, be into little ol me. Now I’d never struggled in the women’s department, but I’m pretty sure the gays had much higher standards for men when it came to appearances.

Whatever thoughts I was starting to conjure up again, John expelled from my mind once more when he bent down and kissed me. I felt his lips mold with mine instantly, feeling his gentleness when he pushed me back into the pillows.

Before he broke away from a kiss to fleeting as it was, he whispered against my lips “ put your hands together. “

Once he pulled away completely, I did what I was told, clasping my hands in front of me above my chest like I was about to pray.

John pulled the strap through the metal buckle of the belt he was still holding, before he slipped the loop over my hands and pulled it tight around my wrist. “Is this too tight?” He asked me with that roughness in his voice again. The same roughness I was quickly starting to absolutely drool over. It was like a part of him switched as his eyes continued to analyze me.

I wriggled my wrists slightly, noticing there was still a bit more room. “Y-You can um… you can go a little tighter.”

The way John looked at me after that made me bite down on my lip hard. I watched him pull the leather tighter, forcing my wrists together so closely, my fingers pulled away from the clasp I was making.

Then John leaned forward with the strap, lifting my arms back over my head, before he wrapped that same strap around two bars of the headboard behind me. If I stretched my fingers, I could feel some of that cold metal against the tips, but all I could focus on was John’s chest just inches away from my face.

When he pulled that strap through and secured it with the buckle, his muscles rippled in this tied motion from his upper shoulders down to his pecks. I wasn’t sure what came over me, but I lifted my head slightly, and licked his right side close to one of his nipples.

The was when I felt a hand wrap itself tight around my neck before I was suddenly being pushed back into the pillows. John looked down at me with those same knee weakening eyes.

“ That’s no allowed. “ He whispered with a raspy breath. The hold he had on my throat wasn’t painful or anything, but it was firm. It was like he was holding every bit of my body still, just by the grip there. And it only made my already hard dick all the more harder. I felt a shiver run through me from his touch when his hand slowly released around me, to trail fingers down my delicate exposed skin. “It’s my turn.” He murmured. “You don’t touch me tonight unless I give you permission to.”

Once they reached one of my nipples, John pinched it hard, releasing an unexpected moan from me as my hips buckled. It was John’s weight around me as he straddled me, that kept them pressed firm into the mattress… and it was John’s secure tight lock with the belt that kept my hands above my head, restraining me. All I could do was nod at the man.

He shifted himself further down and brought his knees in, till he was kneeling on the bed between my legs. His hands didn’t stop moving, feeling every inch of my torso down to the waist of my undone jeans. He yanked those off so quick, I hadn’t noticed until my legs were lifted and my ankles rested on his shoulders.

This was when his gaze found mine again.

If he continued to look at me like this, I was point blank period going to cum. No ifs, what’s, or buts.

He leant down, keeping eye contact with me and bending my legs back till his lips reached my chest. I felt my weak legs starting to shake, feeling bolts of pleasure shooting straight to my groin with every kiss. It was so fucking intense, my legs eventually slid down the rest of his sides but he caught them near his elbow, holding them bent as he shifted even further down the bed.

He kissed and nipped and sucked down every bit of my torso, getting closer and closer to the band of my navy blue briefs. Even with the dark material, I could see how wet I made the fabric with my precum. My hands pulled down on the strong leather strap, but nothing gave. There was a metal horizontal bar on the headboard, just below the top of the pillows, which kept my hands locked right above my head now.

John began kissing near my waistband, with his arms wrapped around my upper thighs and holding my hips down. There were no words for how fucking hot he looked between me. No fucking words for when his fingers hooked on to the elastic band, and he slowly pulled that thin wet material down.

My dick rested against me now, moving slightly with anticipation when John rested between my legs again.

His eyes flickered back to me, watching intently as his tongue slid out to lick the length of me. I let out an attempt at a muffled moan as my head tilted back, pushing into the pillows below. I felt my hands yank at that strap again, but all it seemed to do was tighten the hold around my wrists.

John took me into his mouth without giving me even a second to process or adjust. He practically anticipated the next thrusts my hips did towards the air, because I felt pressure come down on them before I even had time to react.

I pulled my head up to look past the rise and fall of my chest, and back down at him. John’s eyes were absolutely devouring me. His gaze moved from my toned stomach, up my chest and neck following every mark he left, till his gaze found mine.

I’d like to think that I prided myself on being well versed in most things kinky, but there was just something about his gaze right now that made me feel so exposed. In a good way. In a way I didn’t think could be related to the kinky side of sex. I always viewed that as more of a fun sex, but this was… this was different. John wasn’t looking at me like this was a fun activity to pass time. He was looking at me like he wanted every single part of me in every single fucking way.

I felt a shiver run through my lit ablaze skin, watching as John took all of me inside of him.

My hands yanked on that strap again, seemingly forgetting it was there before I was quickly reminded. The leather tightened around me once more, digging into the skin a bit now, but that slight pain mixed with the feeling of John’s tongue pushing against me as he picked up speed with his mouth, was pushing me to the edge. “J-John-” I tried to get out between my growing uncontrollable moans.

This feeling was intense… too intense. As if this gorgeous man could read my mind, soul, and body, he slowed his assault some. I was too focused on not coming right now, I didn’t notice one of the arms that was wrapped around my thigh slowly pulled back. I felt it massaging my waist, down to my ass. He then brought that same hand to his mouth, releasing my cock only momentarily to get his index finger wet, before he took me in all the way again.

I felt my back arch off the bed at that, but John still kept my lower half anchored down. I was doing everything in my power not to yank on this belt anymore.

My back barely made it back to the mattress, before I felt a different sensation. A new sensation. One I clearly wasn’t expecting as a gasp left my lips.

John’s finger gently prodded my entrance right as he picked up speed again. Taking me all the way to the back of his mouth, before bringing those perfect fucking lips up to my leaking tip.

I made the mistake of trying to pull my hands down again. The strap tightened.

This time, the pain, mixed with the bolts of pleasure shooting up me from both my cock and now my entrance, was pushing me over the edge. My body was starting to shake, and for a second I contemplated saying our safe word…

But it wasn’t that I didn’t feel… safe . I always felt safe with John. I’d just- I’d never came from something like this before. I felt John push his finger only slightly into me, and this was when all my emotions hit a head.

“J-John- I’m close- I- I can’t-” my back arched off the bed again. I didn’t even know where I was going with that sentence… If you could call it one.

But instead, John’s eyes locked in on mine. I watched as he took me all the way down again, but as he moved up towards my tip, he dragged his teeth gently along the soft skin. I felt my hips buckle for the final time as all that pent up feelings were released.

My head pushed back into those pillows so hard, I thought I felt the metal bars pushing through the stuffed fabric. “F-Fuck!” I groaned, feeling my body flinch with each jolt of pleasure, unable to do anything when that belt tightened even tighter.

Somehow that made this orgasm feel even more intense. So much so, my fingers wrapped themselves around the verticals metal pole they were tied to, and I gripped that thing for dear life.

John didn’t stop though, he barely even slowed down as he managed to swallow my cum, but also still keep sucking me. “J-Joh-” my breathing had interrupted every word and thought I had. This feeling felt so fucking good it was terrifying . “J-J-” I tried to get out, gasping again as the tip of his finger made a beckoning motion inside me.

My dick was now a sensitive wreck, pulsating in John’s mouth, building again… but I couldn’t take it. My hand yanked on that strap again which made the hold on me too intense. I felt another orgasm rippling through me, and it shook every part of my body. I had squeezed my eyes so tight, stars had begun to form amid the abyss of darkness.

“I- I can’t-” I tried to get out, before my brain finally functioned enough to remember what John told me. “P… Pineap-”

It was hard to tell whether I even managed to get the word out correctly, but the light chill I felt when John pulled away completely, confirmed it.

All I could hear was my damned heart beat, reminding I had somehow still survived that out of body experience. John was so quick to push himself up, I was still too dazed to recognize he was at my side releasing the restraints. My hands were pretty much spaghetti at this point, so I let him bring them down to him. He placed gently kisses on them. “Are you okay, love? I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you like that-” John started in with immediate panic, but stilled when his eyes found my hazy ones.

He was massaging the slight bruising on my wrists, tenderly, and yet I barely even registered they had bruised.

Instead, I had a warm smile playing on my lips as I looked back up at him. I could’ve answered John, but those lips of his had done too much of the lords… or maybe the devils work , not to be thanked. I slowly pulled my hands away from his, before I used them to push me up slightly so I could kiss him.

He was a bit stunned by that too, but I felt him relax a second later, leaning into me before I finally pulled away.

He looked like he was going to say something else that would make him second guess how fucking good he just made me feel, so I did the one thing I could think of to show him just how okay I was.

I pushed him back onto the bed, maintaining every bit of his intense gaze as I straddled him this time, still fully naked. My hands rested comfortable on his bare chiseled stomach. His gaze practically pulled me towards him, but instead of bending down to kiss him, I shifted past him to his ear.

“I want to make you feel as good as that was for me.” I whispered against him, feel his hands instantly lock on my naked hips. They were already digging into the skin, representing more of the restraint he was showing.

My cock was now rested against his massive bulge that was pushing tight on the jean fabric. One of my hands moved down his firm skin, past his lower stomach to rub his rock hard self through his jeans, and I was surprised to find a little dampness there already.

The way I whispered this last part echoed my growing immediate need for him again. “Do I have your permission?”

••

38. “Are You Okay?” “Are You?”

Hi lovelies!

I know I took a bit of a break after the last chapter. Tbh, my work life has been a lot…

I haven’t forgot about y’all though! I’ve just been in some intense negotiations, because one thing y’all gotta know about me is I’m always negotiating my pay for anything and everything I do

There is no one (literally not a living soul) in this world that I would bet on more than myself, so whenever I feel like my work and output

outweighs

my pay, I’m dragging everyone and their fucking mother to a meeting to renegotiate that shit

So that’s what I did

(and I got a raise on top of my performance increase, yay!)

Anyways, enjoy my beauts!

More smut on the way once things with my day job are finalized and I can swing back into the groove of things.

Love you guys so so so mf much, pleaseee don’t get me started 😂🩵

xoxo

Warning: Explicit Content

;)

John

All I could do was watch as Derek shimmied down till he was between my stretched legs, then he started to undo the top button to my jeans.

The word ’ yes’ had fallen past my lips without my minds consent. Tonight was supposed to be about Derek, not myself… and yet here we were.

Had I wanted Derek to touch me? No fucking shit, but I also understood that he hadn’t really done any of this before. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to… to feel obligated to…

But when my eyes cast from his, to the grin playing on his lips as I helped him slip my jeans off, I realized I might’ve been the one that was more nervous than he was right now.

His hands tugged my briefs down next, until my full body was exposed to him. There was nothing more of a turn on than to watch Derek’s eyes rake over every part of me from head to toe. I don’t think he realized how often I caught him checking my body out, he usually struggled to maintain eye contact after I did, but this time it was different.

When my eyes caught his, with him still sitting, kneeling between my legs, his smile spread across his face.

“It is a cardinal sin for anyone to look this good, John Terry.” He whispered.

I felt my breathing cease completely at those words. And the way he said them. My hands reached forward to grab Derek and pull him towards me, but he stopped me before I could complete that mission. “Now hold on a minute sir , it’s my turn.” He teased.

Him calling me sir just made me want him even more. I didn’t care in what way anymore, I just wanted him…

But my arms moved back to my side, resting in defeat much to my dismay, before they quickly latched onto Derek’s silk sheets. I inhaled sharply as soon as Derek took me in his hand without warning. My cock was already so far past the point of hard, I had to force myself to downplay the whole situation so I wouldn’t cum. I hadn’t expected this tonight. Any of this.

I kept telling myself that this is just a man, and this was just some simple head… but the sudden look of determination on Derek’s face as he bent down to taste my tip, forced my head back into the pillows hard.

This wasn’t just some man. And unfortunately this wasn’t simply head. As soon as Derek took the tip of me inside him, I knew I was utterly and completely screwed.

Luckily… or maybe unluckily for me, Derek really didn’t know what the hell he was doing.

“I-Is t-this okay?” He mumbled against my sensitive head, and I gripped his top sheet so tight, it untucked it from the mattress.

“Y-Yes.” I told him, nodding a bit jarringly before I felt him lick my tip again this time. My head pushed back into the soft material one more, but I couldn’t look away. The sight of Derek slowly taking more of me in his mouth made my soft groans turn far more primal. “A-Are you o-okay?” I tried to get out between choppy breathes, still wanting to maintain open communication with him even though formulating words right now was about as easy as counting fucking grains of rice.

Or doing taxes.

Or walking Herold, for that matter.

Derek nodded, his mouth clearly still too preoccupied to answer, and that was when I forced my gaze to break away from his.

There was a slight awkwardness with how he moved, and at first I thought this would probably help me hold out a little longer, but much like every other part of Derek, I just found this part of him even more fucking hot. I felt his teeth accidentally graze against my shaft when he picked up speed, which forced my eyes back on him again, but when he mumbled an apology, my dominate hand shot to his hair to slow him down some.

Get it together , I practically scolded myself. There was no way I was lasting this.

I didn’t notice the death grip I had in Derek’s hair at first, but when I did, my fingers eased up immediately. I hadn’t meant to hold him down on my cock, but I also needed a breather. A second to get myself under control. Before I could fully release his soft silky strands and apologize, Derek’s hand moved to mine and gently nudged them back. My fingers tangled themselves again like they belonged there.

He wasn’t as solely concentrated on my dick as he first was when he started. Instead, he was looking back up at me now, and I was quickly realizing I had very little control over how I reacted to this man.

“A-Are you s-” I started, but Derek nodded to me, successfully cutting off every thought process I was starting to have again, when his tongue swirled around my tip with me still in his mouth. I gripped Derek’s messy locks tighter, doing everything I could not to push more of myself in.

The hand that was holding my almost painfully hard cock upright in his mouth, started massaging the base while Derek’s head bobbed up and down. He hadn’t taken all of me in his mouth yet, so I tried not to be too impatient, but I would’ve been lying straight through my fucking teeth if I said I didn’t apply a little more pressure. “I-Is t-”

Derek nodded again, cutting me off once more as he allowed me to push myself further into him. My head dipped back almost immediately, not even bothering to focus on the ceiling. There was absolutely nothing I could do at this point to stop the buildup that started to form. I could feel the warmth and wetness of his mouth all around me. The texture of his tongue against my sensitive skin, tasting my precum…

Those soft lips… the ones stretched tight around my cock…

My eyes shot back down to Derek when I felt my tip hit the back of his throat. The rough noise that hammered past my lips was echoed immediately after by Derek’s own groans. I felt every bit of the vibrations, my free hand snatching hold of these smooth silk sheets for dear life.

I watched his own free hand move past his torso to readjust his own hard on, and I couldn’t tell what was sexier in this very moment:

The fact that Derek looked this fucking good between my legs on the bed… sucking me off while trusting me enough to start maintaining a pace with the fingers that were still entangled in his hair…

Or maybe it was the fact that him sucking me off was in return making him hard. Really fucking hard.

It already felt like my body had been buried under layers of scorching hot stones, so the wash of heat and pleasure  through me as the build up almost reached its peak, made me genuinely think Derek had to have the heat on in here. “D-Derek-” I whispered with a rasp, struggling to get out.

My voice sounded absolutely nothing like me at this point. It was rough from the shallow dry breathes I was taking in as a last ditch effort to force oxygen to my brain. Raw from the gritty groans he pulled from me every time I felt him suck me harder.

I didn’t even know what I was fixing to say. Maybe I wanted to warn him, because I knew I wouldn’t last much longer. There was just no way I could. Between this current visual of Derek letting me practically face fuck him as I gently pushed me right up to his hilt… to the practically branded visual of Derek’s orgasm as the restraints held him back…

My hand eased its hold in Derek’s hair, pulling back some as I realized I really didn’t have much left in me before I came. I didn’t want to cum in his mouth, especially when he once again had probably never tasted, let alone swallowed cum, but Derek wasn’t having it. His hand nudged my own back, those eyes catching mine as he damn near pleaded with me. All this while he pushed me even further down his throat, gagging at the feeling.

My teeth clenched tight, trying everything in my power now to gather my bearings whilst my body betrayed the thoughts of my mind.

I told myself to pull out. Told myself that I should. That regardless of what kind of bold Derek was feeling tonight, the most respectful thing to do was to pull out…

But my hands gripped his curls even tighter, pumping my cock in and out of his mouth faster as I felt my orgasm just on the brink. Derek’s eyes would drift closed every so often, but when he opened them again, his eyes were on me.

At first I tried to look to the ceiling again, thinking that might slow my body down, but the look in Derek’s eyes stopped me. He wanted to see me cum.

And I wanted to watch him swallow.

So I held his eye contact, watching my cock push through past his soft lips every time I lowered his mouth more. Feeing his tongue massage up and down my shaft, it sent shivers through each nerve in my being. Shivers that, mixed with those bolts of pleasure, was too much for me contain anymore. There wasn’t enough distractions in the world that could stop me from coming now.

“F-fuck-” I choked on that word, releasing one almost animalistic growl as I felt my body tighten. Derek didn’t let up, even as my body began to spasm. My mind was telling me to be gentle, but my body once again wasn’t communicating with that part of me. My hand instead pushed Derek all the way down, feeling his lips right at the base of my cock as he gaged against my tip.

My hips buckled once, something I had been trying not to do this entire time, but couldn’t help myself now. I felt my warm liquid fill his warm mouth, before I pushed all that cum down his throat with my cock.

Derek started coughing which made me pull my hand away from his hair immediately. I didn’t even let myself fully soak in every bit of this spine chilling pleasure before I was on him with instant concern.

“F-Fuck- I’m sorry, I- I knew I shouldn’t of… fuck,”

I was aware that I was saying words and they were hopefully making sense, but if I was being honestly, all I heard was ringing. Luckily it was Derek who once again cut me off by shaking his head. He coughed a few more times, clearing his throat before he finally said anything. I did my best to wait patiently.

Derek had sucked me so dry, I barely had enough energy now to keep my damn eyelids open, but I forced myself to sit up so I could be eye level with him now that he was sitting back up on his knees. I pulled him in for a kiss, one I hadn’t realized I wanted so desperately, and one I held just a little longer than expected. Derek’s hands tangled up in my hair almost instinctively as he pulled me closer to him.

“Are you okay?” I whispered against those lips. The ones that had rearranged the chemical makeup in my brain by what they’d done just seconds ago.

“Are you?” He whispered back coyly with a smile. These were the first words I had heard in what now felt like ages, and nanoseconds, all together. I felt his smile against my lips, which was something I couldn’t help but return. That was followed by a dry chuckle.

“I could show you,” I whispered back against him. My hands were at his bare waist now, massaging his exposed sides while he played with strands of my hair. Having him like this, kneeling between my stretched and slightly bent legs, feeling his hands start to massage my scalp… it made me realize how desperately I didn’t want this to end. How willing I was, to stretch out every possible moment with this perfect man.

“I’ve got a counter proposal,” Derek replied. His hands were slowly moving from my hair to the back of my neck. His touch felt indescribable, causing me to melt against him like it always did.

“And what’s that?” I whispered back, feeling my eyelids start to grow heavier and heavier with each passing moment.

“A nap.”

A grin spread across my lips at that. The thought that maybe Derek didn’t want me to leave just as badly as I didn’t want to, made my stomach do a flip so wicked it felt like I’d been flattened by a house.

“Yeah,” I nodded gently against him. “I think I could swing that.”

••

39. Butter My Southern Pecan

I’m backkkkkk :)

Haha hello lovelies!

I hope you all had one absolutely amazing Halloween if you celebrate

I was in NOLA for it, then got back to a snow storm in MN last Monday because this state hates us fr

Had to buy a new car, and work was a shit storm

to return to

… so I said fuck it and took last week off from writing

to regroup

But I’m back baby!

This one’s a bit of a fluff

/

filler chapter, but the next one

will be straight fire- I promise, m’loves <3

xoxo

Derek

I couldn’t remember when I fell asleep. All I remembered was John seemingly molding into the comfort of my mattress, pulling me into him on his side till my back was flushed against his firm bare chest. He smelt beyond words incredible, and with his skin now exposed from the lack clothing, that distinct scent flooded both my senses and my sheets.

All I could hope was that his scent lingered into the satin fabric. I didn’t know when he’d have to leave, or whether I’d be awake for it, so I savored what moments of bliss I felt as sleep won this intense game of tug and war.

When I awoke again, I could see it was now pitch black outside from the window adjacent to my bed. There was rain pouring down heavily against the apartment complex, with each droplet hitting the side of the window panel with some vengeance. I couldn’t tell what time it was, nor did I feel like stretching my arm off the side of the bed in hopes of turning my alarm clock around to face me.

At first I blamed that one on sheer laziness, but when I felt an arm tighten itself on my torso, pulling me even closer against the slow breathes that were now fanning the soft hairs on the nape of my neck, I realized that the time right now didn’t really concern me.

I melted against John’s warmth. I wanted to feel more of him, and his massive self that was like a gentle heater against my cold skin. I hadn’t noticed at first, but the cooler breeze flowing through the room made me realize John had cracked the window at some point. It wasn’t open enough for rain to get through, just enough for the cool air that accompanied the storm, to push fresh air into the room. It felt like… fall. Or like a scene in Hocus Pocus. Pumpkin spice, candle lights, and everything nice.

There was something else though- something that would complete this cozy feeling entirely. Something that would unfortunately require me to leave this but of warmth… but only for a second. And the risk was well worth it.

Something like Southern Butter Pecan ice cream.

I did my best to slowly shimmy out of John’s surprisingly tight grasp. His arm had literally wrapped itself around my waist fully, then tucked itself under to keep me in place. After the first few seconds, I felt whatever progress I made, completely shatter when John’s arm readjusted again.

“Whereya going?” He whispered roughly near my ear, with sleep still weighing heavily in his voice. I felt my body shudder at the sudden noise, the proximity, and they way in which he said those words.

I almost didn’t want to answer them. I almost wanted us to go right the fuck back to bed. I almost didn’t want ice cream, now that I thought about it…

…Well, almost …

“I uh-” I started, my voice filled with its own raspiness, “I was- well, I was going to grab some… ice cream?” I whispered that last part as more of a question than a declaration.

John didn’t say anything at first, but I felt him stir behind me more. Then his hand loosened its grip some, and I decided this must’ve been him releasing me from this comfortable yet awfully secure hold. “ Go forth and prosper .“ He mumbled so incoherently, I barely caught it. That hoarse voice coupled with his sweet comment, made my lips tug up into an unexpected smile as I slowly moved his once tangled arms away, and forced myself to leave the warmth.

My room was dark, only barely visible by the lamp on my bedside which John must’ve dimmed. I was glad he seemed to be a person who needed to set the ambience before falling asleep, because I was a knock out in all day clothes will lights on till 2pm the next day kinda guy. I could achieve REM sleep regardless of my environment, and I liked to think that was my greatest superpower.

Who needed heat vision when one could fall asleep within the burning depths of Mordor, ya know?

I could barely remember where my boxers had went throughout the night, but it was safe to say that that was the very last thing on my mind while I was at John’s mercy last night.  Luckily I found them at the foot of my bed, and slipped the soft material on. It was cool to touch, much like the temperature in the room.

The hallway leading to the rest of my home was also dimly lit. I followed the wood floor panels until they were replaced by tile, opening up to my kitchen. I wanted to be quick and quiet, hoping I didn’t wake John up again. The sleep deprivation in his voice made me feel bad for waking him up at all.

I grabbed a pint of ice-cream out from the pullout freezer drawer of my fridge, before rummaging in a cabinet drawer nearby for a spoon. I had barely got the cap off the damn container before I heard a voice suddenly behind me.

“Oh, you were serious.”

My body swiveled around so damn fast, I almost launched the ice cream and spoon out my hands. Somewhere, between grabbing the ice cream and opening the lid, my sleepy brain forgot I wasn’t the only one in this apartment tonight.

John was standing at the end of my hallway in nothing but boxers. Sure, he had on the same thing I did, and yet, John looked… wow. I was about to force my gaze away from his body, but his eyes found mine before I could.

“I um-” I started, staring at John like a dear caught in headlights… or a child with his hand in the cookie jar. “I-I don’t play a-about southern butter pecan.” I attempted at an answer. Did it make much sense? Well to me it did.

I continued to stare at this barely dressed man. There was no way… There was just simply no way someone’s bed hair could look this heaven fucking sent at-… I glanced over at the time on my oven screen. At three in the morning-

It’s three in the morning?! I almost did a triple take.

“And I love that about you.” John continued, still scrubbing sleep from his eyes like I usually did, as he joined me in the kitchen.

I could literally feel my face heat up at those words. The grip I had on the carboard ice cream container tightened in hopes I wouldn’t suddenly forget I was holding the damn thing, and I did the same with the spoon.

‘And I love that about you.’

“Can I have some?” He asked, signaling to the ice cream container whilst successfully startling me out of whatever trance I found myself in.

Each step he took towards me made my heart start to race again.

This man had literally just seen me naked a few hours ago, and vice versa, yet it felt like I was meeting him for the first time again.

Like the first time I had seen him in Hawaii.

I thought back to the run in we had at the hotel the morning of the hot dog competition. I was wearing a shirt he recognized from one of the island’s previous eating tourneys, and he had randomly approached me while I was grabbing coffee in the restaurant to ask me about it. I thought back to those warm light green eyes… his perfect smile… beautiful sunkissed skin that was only elevated in the light of Hawaii’s perfect sunny days.

The shock of finding out he and I both knew Christian and Alex, rippled through both of us and our conversation… but John didn’t ask many questions about them then. He just wanted to know more about me, and hell, vice versa. That kept our conversation flowing all morning.

He had looked like a fucking greek god then… and goddamnit, he looked even more like one now…

All I could do was nod, forcing myself to maintain eye contact with John because if my gaze wandered tonight, there was no going back. I was already getting hard just off my thoughts alone.

He took another few steps towards me, his arm stretching out to accept the tub of ice cream and spoon, and that was when my restraint failed. I couldn’t help but watch the veins from his fingers pulsate up his built arms towards his chest. The urge to touch him only grew.

I swear I could never get tired of craning my neck up to see this man. His height was starting to add to the appeal, and when I watched him dip a big scoop of ice cream onto the spoon before he brought it to his mouth, I genuinely contemplated how climbable his body was.

I was always that kid who loved to climb fences and trees. Who knew it would lead to this.

There was a sweet hum of satisfaction as John savored the spoonful. One that made me look away before we could make eye contact again, because I was positive my thoughts were about to manifest into something physical that he could see… and lord were they anything but holy.

I leant back against the kitchen counter, trying to find anything else to focus on while John helped himself to a second scoop. The first thing I noticed was John’s phone. He had left it on the dining room table where we sat across from each other a few hours ago. “Oh,” I murmured more to myself, as I pushed myself away from the kitchen counter. “You left your phone-”

Before I could take more than two steps, I felt something tugging me back by my arm.

It was John, he had pulled me back to my spot leaning against the kitchen counter, but this time his larger frame caged me in. All I felt was the marbled countertop pressing against my lower back as I did everything I could to gather my bearings. “ Leave it, “ he told me gently yet firmly, his hand was still holding my arm while his other hand held the pint of ice cream with the spoon in it. I could feel my brows furrowing as I looked back and forth between the phone on the table, and up at him.

“A-Are you sure?” I asked. John not having his phone felt weird. He had to have left it out here all night, right? Surely someone had pinged him in that time.

John’s lips tugged up into a small smile as his almost naked body drew even closer to mine.

“Positive.” He nodded down to me. Then I watched him do something else that knocked my already scrambled and barely awake brain, even further off its rocker. His hand gently let go of my arm, before he used it to dig the spoon back in the container for another large scoop. This time however, he brought the spoon to my lips instead of his.

I was still staring up at him, but my lips parted almost instinctively.

“If I turn that phone on,” he continued, looking down at my lips with such intensity as he watched the spoon disappear into my mouth, before my eyes damn near rolled back from the flavour.

Southern Butter Pecan man, there really was nothing like it.

“I’ll have to face the music with work. And right now,” John dipped the spoon back into the now almost half empty container, before feeding me another large scoop. “Right now, I’m enjoying this. The quiet. The stillness I get to have with you… as we eat ice cream in your kitchen at three o’clock in the morning.” John gave me a smile.

I could barely focus on the ice cream anymore.

“Oh.” my idiot self muttered with a mouth full of the sweet cool treat. Shut up Derek , I insisted to myself. There was nothing of substance in my brain right now.

“Work is a constant. It will always be there for me…” John watched me slowly swallow. “But you? Every fleeting moment we get, I plan on taking full advantage of.” His thumb gently swiped some of the ice cream from the corner of my mouth before bringing it to his lips.

I tried to hide the smile forming, but it was impossible. I chose to blame this indescribable feeling on the fact that my brain was barely functioning right now, but I didn’t miss that thing my heart did where it really pushed the limits of my no medical insurance having ass.

“I-I-” I started, still scrambling words. “I would- I like- I- um… I like the sound of that.”

John’s lips tugged up into a bigger smile. One that showed his perfect set of teeth.

“What do you say we head back to bed then?” He asked me, placing the spoon in the container, before his hand stretched to my arm again. I nodded, letting him lead me out of the kitchen towards the hall with no protest, but before we could disappear into my bedroom, I stopped us.

“W-What about the ice cream?” I asked him, gesturing to the treat still in his right hand.

John looked back to give me another smile, before he raised the container slightly. “It’s for sure joining the party,” he replied.

••

So I received the sweetest fanart ever for this book, I’m just going to verify with the artist that I can post it, then I’ll either update this chapter or post it in the next one (I’ll let y’all know so you can check it and them out!)

If you ever want to send me some fanart, please feel free!! My email is in my bio

I’m an hyperrealism artist myself so my appreciation for art already runs deep, but seeing how bloody TALENTED you readers are just gets me so damn emotional

I love y’all fr fr

Thank you, lovelies! <3

Here’s a random pic of me in NOLA that I have no recollection of taking… so you know a time was HAD

DD

with the girls lol

That ain’t even my sim

s headband

D

on’t ask

me

how I got

a

hold of it cause then we’ll both have questions 😂 like who took this picture, for starters

40. Love Forces A Whole New Approach On How One Handles Business

Hello my lovelies!

I hope you all had a great holiday if you live in the US!

I took some time to spend time with my mum since it was just her and I for the holidays (second year without my daddio since his passing, and my sister is in my home country Kenya visiting family) so I hope y’all understand the little hiatus.

Of course, in true fashion, I got back and started revising all that I wrote lol, so this chapter is indeed necessary but also a bit of a filler.

No worries though, it’s a good lead up to what’s to come!

I hope you all are taking good care of yourselves

I love y’all to bits,

xoxo

P.S. check below for incredible art by one of my readers

!!

TouchLiit

John

Though I may have tried denying it in the past… there was literally no denying it now.

I was falling mad fucking hard for Derek.

And not like in a graceful dainty fall sort of way, I’m not even referencing the fall people do in horror movies after tripping over shit that simply didn’t exist. I’m talking about a belly flop from ten thousand stories high onto straight concrete type of fall. That’s how hard these feelings hit me when I woke up to this man in my arms the next morning.

I had found myself just watching him sleep in the early hours. His body was completely curled into mine, his legs entangled with my own as his head rested on my chest. My eyes glanced only briefly past his, to the now empty pint of southern butter pecan ice cream that Derek and myself just about annihilated in bed during the night, whilst I asked him more about his comic series and how it was coming along.

I chose not to tell him about reaching out to Marty just yet. I still hadn’t heard back about whether Onyx would be interested in the pitch or not, and I didn’t want to relay half baked information.

Derek looked so peaceful now. Those long lashes moving only slightly whenever his eye lids twitched. It reminded me of the first time I had found him sleeping, when he spent the night on my couch. God, that now felt like ages ago.

I wanted to think it’s because Derek and I had spent so much time together, but really, work was starting to stretch these week days out and cram the weekends in. It felt like I was sucked into a black hole sometimes whenever I reviewed statements and got a glimpse of how Christian was running things before.

Though I’d given Christian shit in the past for almost always getting off scot free because of his affluent background, this was one of the moments where I had to admit I might’ve been wrong. At least with my reasoning.

Christian was just somehow, someway, lucky as all fucking hell.

And I genuinely meant this.

I hadn’t seen the extent of things with my previous visits to Ivanov Corp, so this partnership sure has been eye opening.

I’d done my best not to think of work all weekend, and my phone was still sitting on Derek’s dining room table, taunting me with the pain and misery it would surely bring.

Really, I was more or less avoiding thinking about returning to NYC.

Truth be told, I was missing my office and staff… hell, even the fucking food. Though I loved to cook, I appreciated the delicious hot and ready menu the big city offered. Plus cooking for yourself gets pretty old pretty quickly. The only thing I wasn’t missing, was the one thing that wasn’t in New York…

Derek.

And though he was but one man, he was the person that was singlehandedly making me fall in love with all the things I thought I grew tired of here. He was adding purpose to things I didn’t think I had the capacity to care for, and by god whatever this man was doing to me was terrifying me.

Hell, he had me looking at office spaces around the area within the company’s budget.

My eyes cast from Derek’s lashes, to his sharp nose… down to his lips… The way he completely relaxed into me made me want to stay in this bed forever, but I knew deep deep deep down, that I couldn’t do that.

I thought it would’ve been hard to separate Derek from my body, but this man didn’t even flinch when I slowly peeled him off me. He snored very very softly, honestly it sounded more like a purr than anything, and that was the only indication I had that the man was even still alive.

It didn’t take long to gather my things and get clothes on, especially considering all of the clothes were now on the floor. Between the oral sex, the cuddles, and Derek wanting to show me a wrestling move he used on a classmate in the third grade that got him suspended for a week (the sugar rush from the ice cream was at full peak here), not even the comforter stood a chance.

I slipped on clothes, then made my way to my phone in the dining area. I had switched it off right before Derek led me to his bedroom, so once that baby powered up, I was immediately assaulted by emails, texts, and phone calls. Mostly from Don, but that was no shocker there.

The last thing I did before I left, was leave a note for Derek. It simply said:

I miss you already.

Then I drew a little cheese slice next to it with a smiley face.

It was by far cheesier than the state of Wisconsin, but it accurately echoed my sentiment of both last night and this morning. If I didn’t have a cat I needed to take care of before I left for New York, this note wouldn’t even exist right now. I would still have Derek cuddled into my side, his shorter arms around my torso while his soft hands mindlessly caressed my skin.

He’d do that a lot actually, even when he seemed to be in the deepest of sleep, and I fucking loved it.

But alas, I had cat dad duties. And I guess a company to run.

Herold was quick to remind me of what he thought of my disappearing act as soon as I entered my humble abode. So much had happened yesterday, I had almost forgot I cooked. The pleasant aroma still lingered in the home, which made me smile. My mind immediately went back to Derek, and the look of sheer bliss when he took that first bite of salmon.

Fucking fuck John, please.

All roads could not lead back to him. Some had to lead back to my workload, before Don tore into me this week.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t the first person I called when I got back. Instead, it was Brad.

“I don’t want to be dramatic or anything, but if you’re calling for work related shit, I’m hanging up right now.” Was the first thing out of Brad’s mouth when he picked up.

“Hold on!” I stopped him before I could hear the line go dead. “I’m actually calling to check in man. It’s been a while since we last did one of these.”

I heard a bit of shuffling on the other end before Brad cleared his throat. “God, it has hasn’t it? Works fucking up my perception of time.”

“That makes two of us.” I chuckled, holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder as I squatted down to scoop food into this impatient cats food dish. “But for you it must be different. I still can’t believe you’re fucking off to Russia for a while.”

There was a pause before Brad replied. “Yeah there’s a lot that… well we probably shouldn’t discuss everything over the phone, but there’s a whole lot going on there.”

I nodded, forgetting I was on a call before I said “right, no absolutely. I get it.”

I’d known these brothers for almost a decade now, but the secrets the Ivanov family kept still managed to surprise me. I wanted to tell Brad that whatever was going on couldn’t possibly be that bad, but considering Brad was literally going to fucking Russia for it, I don’t think my words held any weight.

And with Slav stepping down as COO to have Brad take over, honestly I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to know about this supposed mess of a situation.

“I just-” I continued into the line. “I want you to know that I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

Herold started nipping at my hand because I wasn’t moving fast enough, so I had to nudge the damn furball away. All I heard was his battle cries of protest while I continued the conversation.

“You need me in Russia? I’ll go. You need Joan? I’ll send her on my private. You need connections? Well your family are the only Russians I know so I’m useless on that front, but I know a joke or two in Russian that might get you through a few more sophisticated doors.”

Brad laughed at that, which made me smile. Making Brad laugh was always an achievement. “Hell, I’m still trying to figure out how I’m supposed to leave Joan.”

I was really about to say I know how that feels, but I stopped myself short thank god.

First off, I was going to NYC for a week, not Russia for a month or two. Second, I still didn’t even know what the hell had pulled Brad there in the first place. And I couldn’t even pry about that one because something told me that conversation wasn’t meant to be carried over the phone.

“I know she wants me to ask her to come, but I know she knows that I can’t. I need to do this one on my own.” Brad continued, hinting at just how personal this trip really was for him.

“Do you love her?” I asked Brad randomly, unsure of where that question had even come from.

This wasn’t usually Brad and I’s kinda conversations. He liked to keep things brief, yet supportive.

But without a single hesitation, Brad replied with “yes.” There was a bit more rustling on his end before he continued. “I mean I’m not even sure I can put into words how much I love that woman, man.”

I was about to tell him he already put it into actions…

By getting freaky with Joan in the company’s back stairwell and subjecting the rest of us to an insanely platonic workplace environment…

But I held my tongue.

Brad deserved to let loose like that every once in a while. He went cold Turkey on his reckless vibes right after his first four years of college, and I still to this day don’t think that was healthy. Quitting anything cold Turkey is bound to have some consequences.

“Like I know I called Christian absolutely batshit for marrying Alex so soon, but damn. Maybe when you know, you do just… know. You know?”

I chuckled at that. “You must really know, cause Joan’s turning you into a whole philosopher.”

It was Brad’s turn to laugh. “I mean, a Great Value philosopher at best, but yeah I’ll take it.”

I could practically see the curt nod he must’ve gave over the phone.

“It’s kinda funny actually. I first fell for her because of her maturity and capacity for chaos, but now it feels like I’m falling in love all over again. She’s got this charm to her that you’ve got to work for. One that you’ve gotta earn. It’s like I miss her and I haven’t even left yet. She just gets my humor and personality so fully, I would’ve popped the question weeks ago if Joan actually believed in marriage.”

That got a good chuckle outta me. I kept it casual over the phone, but best believe my smile was reaching my ears now. This had to be one of like four deeper conversations Brad and I have ever had about his love life.

“She’s making this whole process easier, and I’m not sure how I can thank her.”

“Well for starters,” I replied, “you can make sure you come back.” I said that first part jokingly, but there was some truth there. “Business always seems to dictate the lives of this Brady bunch.” I added.

There was a slight pause before Brad replied. “Love forces a whole new approach on how one handles business… And I think that might be the beauty of it.”

••

Thank you so so so much TouchLiit

41. Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur

Happy Holidays Ya Filthy Animals!

Whether you celebrate anything or don’t, I hope y’all got in some good family time (if they respect you, fuck the ones who don’t idc.) and just a much needed mental break.

I love y’all so so much!

I’ve had back to back trips for Halloween, Turkey Day, Christmas, and New Years… so these chapters are just popping up whenever I can get them uploaded

But enjoy the lil holiday gift, and more that will be coming before New Years :)

Derek

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/aaa761fc3898fcd94f4387ac7461c3cbd501ec8a/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f3671457a587451434476597972513d3d2d313430393231353436332e313761353233653731303363636434333331373631333033393337312e6a7067)

I slept pretty much all day.

At least that’s what my phone’s clock told me as I rolled over only to be blinded by the screen light. It was now so late now, the sky had darkened all over again.

And for the first time in what might’ve been ever, as soon as I got up, I regretted this deep sleep.

John had since left, but I saw a text he sent right before boarding his flight to let me know it was on time. I also found the handwritten note he left. And I’d be telling a whole bold face lie if I said that didn’t make my cheeks heat up like a freaking furnace. It just reminded me of every last second we had spent together between yesterday and today… which made me regret missing when he left even more.

I tried to tell myself it was fine as I got up and started to tidy up a bit, but the scent of John lingered everywhere. All I wanted to do was curl back into bed and pretend he was still here, which trust and believe I knew was crossing into dangerous territory.

And I knew it was dangerous because I had absolutely never felt this way about any of my previous partners before.

The week John was gone for felt like shit. It was even shittier because in addition to not seeing him around the Ivanov Corp office from Monday to Friday, he and I were finding it hard to jump on the phone for a call, and I instead had to deal with Alex and Christian’s weirdness at the office alone.

Alex was for the most part alright, he was just still coming to terms with the fact that between him and Joan, he really was my only lifeline to this newly found gay lifestyle. Joan insisted I direct all questions to Alex, reminding us that it was her who had to answer all my more… direct heterosexual inquiries over the years. This just meant that Alex was doing his best to avoid me for all non-work related discussions like his life depended on it.

Christian, on the other hand, was just downright staring. All day. For starters, he was still carrying that damn megaphone around which was subsequently putting us all on our best behavior.

“John isn’t even in this state this week, you can lose the megaphone Christian.” Alex told him in passing when they both left the third floor’s conference room. They had been using that space a lot, which felt like a fucking waste of time for me personally cause I couldn’t even stare at John aimlessly this week while he did a bunch of important looking work related stuff.

Not like I had the time to be slacking on my own work this week, but for him I was willing to move some things around.

Instead all I got to see was Alex and Christian bickering from behind the glass panels, while Brad looked slightly irritated at being forced to play mediator. It was actually a bit surprising to see how the groups dynamic changed with and without John. He really was the only person I knew who could speak to the Ivanov’s like that who wasn’t an Ivanov or Alex, and somehow his presence alone commanded this unique sense of respect from the brothers that I hadn’t seen them give anyone else before.

There was something about that- something about him that made my fucking toes curl. And I hadn’t even started thinking about that man’s voice yet… or his touch. Or that sweet fucking note he left me that I shamelessly taped on my bathroom mirror Sunday night after I found it.

They way John had spoke about work before he left, I knew this week back in NYC was going to be a rough one, but I had no idea it was going to be this busy for him. It was Friday now, and though he was set to return on Sunday, the all of like 10 texts he managed to send this week made me feel like a was penning notes to a man off at war.

“Calm down.” I muttered to myself, setting all my work bags on the coffee table in my living room. They hit the wood will a light but full thud like they, too, had just about had it with this week, and it echoed my sentiments exactly.

Instead of allowing my bird brain of a central hub that I call my noggin, to miss this man any further than it already did, I decided to distract myself by getting a little more work done on the comic book series. John had got me hyped about it whilst feeding me ice cream in bed on Sunday, and now I had that same sensation I did the day he first found my comics.

I wanted to write more, so I had something to show him when I saw him next.

I just must’ve forgot that I based the looks of my main protagonist after his perfectly chiseled features… So whatever escape I think I was creating for myself, quickly failed miserably.

It was actually the sound of my phone going off that finally pulled my drawing pens away from the paper. For a split second I though this might’ve been some miracle where one of John’s meetings got magically cancelled and he had some time to jump on a call, but that caller ID quickly shoved those thoughts down. Instead it was someone I didn’t expect at all.

“Brad?” I asked confusingly into the line. I could hear the phone line picking up on some busyness, but no words came through yet. “Is Joan okay?” I added. Joan was the only logical reason for any call from Brad.

“Oh- wait!” more shuffling came through the line. “Derek, I need you here now! Like right the fuck- hold on! No, Christian I said-” Brad’s voice was cutoff again, but this time all I heard were screams. High pitched damn near ear deafening screams.

“Is everything okay?” I sat up in the rolling chair now, pushing myself away from the drawing table to try and hear this call better.

“Yes- just- come!” Brad yelled into the line. It was what he added before the line went dead however, that really got me on my feet. “To John’s!”

It was safe to say that I have never, in all my years as a tax payer on this burning up rock, ever zoomed somewhere so fast before. I didn’t even take my car, and instead opted for my motorcycle since it helped whip me through the tail end of traffic like it was nothing. By the time I pulled up to John’s home, I knew something was up because I recognized the two cars in his driveway damn near immediately.

I would’ve maybe even paused to admire the new coat Brad had put on his, but there was simply no time for that. At least not with his front door wide open, and blood curdling screams coming from inside. My kick stand barely even hit the pavement before I was off the bike with my helmet in hand, literally sprinting in.

And I wasn’t sure what I was expecting when I made it down his corridor to the rest of his home, but this… well this really wasn’t it.

Standing right up with his back smacked against the wall nearest to the couch and coffee table, was Brad.

Standing on the damn coffee table istelf, was Christian.

And they both looked like they may have been trapped in here with a grizzly bear.

Brad was a bit more composed, with his buttoned up dress shirt now half unbottoned, exposing his bare chest. I swear I saw a scratch mark or two there, but it was Christian’s state that almost made me drop my motorcycling helmet onto the hardwood floor.

His shirt was half unbuttoned… from the bottom up. I could see scratch marks all up and down his now rolled up sleeves. Hell, even his exposed abdomen had scratches down to the waistband of his dress pants.

“What the hell-” I started, clearly startling the two men who hadn’t heard me walk in due to their eyes being glued on something in the kitchen.

Or rather, something on the dining room table.

There, perched on top like he chipped in monthly on the mortgage payments here, sat Herold. And there was only two things I noticed without a second thought.

1. Herold had thrown up literally everywhere

2. Herold was pissed

“What the fuck-” I started again, but Brad yanked me towards him against the wall before I could finish.

“ Thank fuck you’re here .“ He whispered under his breath, but as he turned to face me, I saw that the other half of Brad’s face was pretty scratched up too.

“What the hell hap-”

“Shhhh!” Christian shushed me, looking over from his spot on the coffee table to shoot an icy glare my way.

All I could do was turn to Brad in hopes of an explanation. He looked like he was less on a fight vs flight mode… unlike Christian, who just looked unhinged.

“Herold,” Brad explained quietly, forcing both our gaze in the cat’s direction as he pointed at it with a bloody finger.

It was safe to say that I was still absolutely confused… but not necessarily by Herold’s attack (it was a very well known fact by now that Herold and the Ivanov brothers weren’t on the best of terms), but by how it got this… bad . That was when I noticed a red carrier on the other side of the couch, a bit mangled by the looks of it too.

“What… happened?” I settled on finally.

Brad just pointed to Herold again, who looked down at his own throw up with disgust, before staring back at the brothers with even more disgust.

“What did you guys do?” I added, picking up on the fact that Herold clearly wasn’t feeling well. I mean there was throw up literally everywhere.

“We didn’t do shit!” Christian hissed furiously, ignoring his own demands for silence as he used his hands to swat the air threateningly when Herold took another step closer to the edge of the table. “We just came to grab some documents but Belzebub over there fucking attacked us!”

Now on a good day, I would say that Herold getting a few paws in on Christian was probably warranted, but seeing how much he had vomited made me think the attack was probably overkill- even by his standards.

“I think he’s sick.” I explained, setting my helmet down on the now slightly tethered couch, to walk over and pick up the battered carrier.

“Yeah no fucking shit sherl-”

“Christian, shut the fuck up. Please, for once in your life, bite your tongue instead of the hand that is literally just trying to help.” Brad’s voice had a sharpness to it I hadn’t heard before.

It made me wonder just how long these guys were going at this for.

The high pitched screams I heard over the phone just turned the once terrifying thought I had about what was going on, into that of complete comedic gold once I realized it was Christian who was screaming bloody murder. There was nothing he could say to me in this moment that could put a damper on that now pleasant memory.

So instead, I ignored the tattered up douche face of my boss, and laid the carrier down on the floor. My first thought was maybe I can bribe Herold with food, but he didn’t seem well enough to stomach anything. Instead I took a seat down next to the carrier, scooting close so the dining table was only a few feet away from Herold.

“Come here baby,” I cooed quietly, watching Herold’s face turn from the brothers back to me with a tinge of curiocity, before he finally hopped up off the table.

The sound of Christian and Brad’s sharp inhale was heard clear as day once those four paws hit the wooden floorboards, but I didn’t let it get to me. Herold and I had an understanding. And these next moments proved just that.

The entire home was pin drop quiet, with both brothers watching as Herold made his way to me. The first thing I did was stick out my hand to him, allowing him to sniff me like fresh meat. It was no surprise to me when he bit down, and it wasn’t nearly hard enough to draw blood, so I allowed it. When he released my fragile bones, a small smile crept upon my lips as I watched him tuck himself under my hand, allowing me to gently massage the back of his head down to his body, before flipping out his fluffy tail.

Herold would suddenly give me another nip or two, then tuck his head under like that again, and soon enough, I had him against my knees purring.

This was when I gently scooted the carrier towards him. That earned me another nip, which of did pull blood, but I decided Herold’s trauma with this carrier was enough for me to look past it. Plus, compared to the number he did on the Ivanov brothers, this was just a papercut.

Herold spent about another five minutes or so testing me every time I moved the carrier closer. It was like he knew that wherever we were taking him would make him better, but he also had an equally obsessive trait of wanting to see who would actually live long enough to get him there. After plenty more nips, Herold must’ve deemed me worth, because he walked right into that carrier of his own accord.

And I shut that shit right before he could start having second thoughts on his decision.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. it was that easy?” Brad asked me incredulously.

I waved my hands at the Ivanov’s (one of which who was finally climbing down from the damn coffee table) to show them my battle scars.

“Not that easy… but easier than whatever hell y’all welcomed by trying whatever the hell you tried with the little guy.”

“I told you he didn’t like to be picked up!” Brad snapped at Christian, who looked like he was trying to diffuse his own frustrations without snapping back.

Christian trying to pick up Herold explained about 102% of the injuries he sustained, and was probably how Brad got so caught up in the crosshairs.

Hell, even I wouldn’t try that. Herold climbed you , I thought everyone knew that.

“Well fuck it, we got it sorted is all that matters. Now, if you’ll excuse Brad and myself, we have some business to attend to.” Christian straightened… or at least tried to straighten out his shirt, but to be quite honest Herold had fucked that up righteously.

“Uh-” I replied almost immediately, “Herold really needs to be taken to the vet hospital.”

And this was the same guy saying ‘no shit’ when I mentioned this cat clearly wasn’t feeling well. How lovely.

“And you can do that.” Christian more or less stated. I looked at him, then past him to Brad.

“No I actually can’t. I rode my motorcycle.”

“Well why the fuck did you do that?” Christian countered.

“Because I heard ear deafening screams coming from the phone when Brad called and I thought someone was getting murdered. But you’re right, had I known it was you I would’ve taken a razor scooter here.” I snapped back, unable to hold down my own anger at the half hour drive I did across town just to deal with Christian’s pissy attitude.

That got an unexpected chuckle out of Brad, which just added flame to the fire, but he got some words in before Christian could lose it completely. “We’ll take my car, Derek. Christian- go… shower. Get you a drink. I don’t know, just go be useful somewhere else. Derek and I can handle this.”

Were the Ivanov’s always like this? Just deciding things for people? If it wasn’t for the fact that I would probably throw myself in front of a moving train for Herold if he wished it, today would’ve been the day my ass would’ve got fired. Instead, all I did was nod Brad’s way.

It wasn’t like I could trust any of these idiots to keep this little fur ball alive. Clearly .

••

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/fdaeec82d7598d009deef068022d470ea75a2792/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f526279654e54753751412d356e773d3d2d313430393231353436332e313761353233636636623632376564303231323530323532363933322e6a7067)

42. Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Purr Purr Purr

John

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/febdbd3e8ea9d5e932f961677221139a7135bb42/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f793750367244334d31514d6f78773d3d2d313430393236373835312e3137613532343234353966386131656133303639393930303930312e6a7067)

“What the fuck do you do to get through days like this?” I whined to Don as we exited our last meeting of the day together. I wasn’t even sure what the time was anymore, I had left my phone locked up in my office for most of the day.

“I drink.” Don replied simply as I let him lead us through the countless now empty offices.

Jeez , I thought, it must’ve been even later than I was thinking.

“Fair,” I told Don, doing my best to match his brisk walk. Clearly he was ready to get the hell outta here himself. I tried to keep away from liquor whenever a busy day wore me thin, but I understood the appeal.

“After the week we just had though, may I suggest something stronger… Like crack.”

I let out an unexpectedly chuckle from behind him. If this day stripped everything else from us, I was proud to see Don still kept his wits.

My office was as cold as I had left it this morning. Don escorted me all the way there before he said his quick goodbyes and left. He had gotten a shit parking spot today so I’m sure that only ground his gears more to get the hell out. I, on the other hand, wasn’t so lucky.

As soon as that phone screen unlocked, I was bombarded with notifications. One had come in from Onyx, but I was way more concerned with the countless missed calls from Brad, Christian, and Derek. The final text I got to was one from Brad, which simply said:

Herold’s sick. We’re at the animal hospital.

I almost dropped my phone at that, opting to re-read Brad’s vague ass text till I was sure that’s all the information I had, then I called him.

“Jesus man, what the fuck!” Was Brad’s first words through the line. I was already gathering up all my office items by the time the call went through and connected.

“The fuck happened?” I replied to the man that was tasked the simple task of checking on on Herold while I was away. This was supposed to be a convenience for both of us considering he needed to pick up numerous documents from my office as the week progressed on.

“Listen man, I don’t know. I think Herold ate something. When I went back this afternoon to pick up the printed docusign info, I came back to him throwing up everywhere.”

I could already start to feel that biting panic settling in. From the sounds of it, Herold didn’t go gently into that good night with getting him to the hospital.

“ I want to smother your fucking heaven of an animal with a pillow. “ Brad muttered more to himself, yet the call picked up on it and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Herold and the Ivanov’s just didn’t mix. Ever.

“How did you get him in the carrier?” I asked. Once the final stack of documents made it into my briefcase, I was out the door, barely remembering to lock up behind me before I started for the parking garage.

“We didn’t. Derek did.”

Those words alone made my heart do something completely different as my feet slowed. I felt this warmth spread through my otherwise sore bones, processing what Brad had said.

“Wait- we ?”

There was a pause on the other end of the call before Brad finally responded “Christian and I.”

That made whatever brisk walk I was starting to do again, turn into a light jog.

“Goddamn it!” I grumbled out more aggressively then I meant to. “Just- just stay there, I’m on my way right now. It’s O’Flare Hospital right?” Brad and Herold might not have mixed, but Christian’s and Herold were oil and fucking water.

There was yet another pause. “Yeah well see- Herold needs to be rushed into surgery and well… Derek and I don’t exactly own him…”

The paused on Brad’s end were starting to concern me.

“And because of that, and you know, this is Herold’s regular spot, so they um- well they… they called Pierre.”

That stopped me dead in my tracks. “No… nonononono.” I quickly rushed out. “Tell them to cancel that. Tell them I’m already on my way-”

“John, they called him like an hour ago. He’s already on his private here, he should reach the hospital in the next twenty minutes or so.”

Fuck. Fucking fuck fuck !

“Okay-… alright- okay-” I struggled to get a clear sentence out as my feet carried me once again, this time it was more of a sprint than anything else. “Do not under any circumstances let him make any decisions for my baby that contradicts anything the vet recommends, do you hear me?” My tone was nothing near welcoming now, and judging by Brad’s, he knew this was about to be one major fuck up for my already hectic schedule.

“You have my word.” Brad replied, and for once, something he said in the last few minutes finally gave me some peace. The one unshakable bond was Brad’s word.

“And,” I added, shooting down the back stairwell instead of bothering with the elevators, “don’t let him even look Derek’s way.”

It was Brad’s response that sent my heart racing. “Yeah… you know I can’t do that.”

“Fuck!” I muttered, slamming on the metal door handle before stepping out into the cold underground parking. “Just stand by.” I directed Brad, who understood and agreed before hanging up.

There was figure further down the parking garage who was doing their own speed walk to their vehicle. One I could pick out from a line up just by the back of his head.

“Don!” I shouted out, hearing my voice echo again the cement walls and pillars of this damn near dungeon. Don swivel around immediately, clearly confused by how quickly I made it out after him. “Start up the private!”

Even from the maybe hundred feet I stood away from him, I saw that confusion etched into his face clear as day. “Why?” He called back.

I fumbled with the keys to my own car that was parked right up front, before getting it unlocked and swinging my bags into the passenger seat.

“Herold’s in the hospital!” I called back, and that was all Don needed to hear as he gave me a direct nod.

Derek

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/1ee7c8fa5b432c6228a085779c3c8e888b360759/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f4f43346d51644253504841364c673d3d2d313430393236373835312e313761353234396364623264343765663538393233313937393030312e6a7067)

Calling John wasn’t the plan, but after the vet calmed Herold down with a sedative to take a look at him, things quickly snowballed.

First, neither me, Brad, or the hospital could get ahold of John. And the hospital did what they believed was right… which was to contact Pierre. As soon as I heard his name mentioned between Brad and the vet, my whole body went rigid.

Not only was John’s pet very sick, now his ex boyfriend was flying in to see Herold… and most likely John based off what I heard about the guys obsession with him.

Yeah, so whatever cool calm demeanor I was sporting for the good of the kids (Herold) was quickly starting to slip. Brad had stepped away to make a call, so I couldn’t even lean on that damn near expressionless man to try and calm me down some.

It’s fine , I told myself. This is technically Pierre and John’s cat. This is normal.

The door to the examination room opened, which made me jump. Of course, it was just Brad who walked through, and he quickly pulled me aside away from the vet and the table Herold was laid on. Herold looked so peaceful when he was knocked out, which was a stark difference to the white droplets of blood that were still on his white fur coat from the mayhem that broke out hours before.

“John’s on his way.” Was the first thing Brad told me, which just sent me spiraling further. How the hell did all this go from worse to worser in the mere matter of hours? “I also called Christian to fill him in on the changes, and have him fill in Alex.”

“Great.” I sent Brad one painful smile, to which his eyes softened some.

“Listen, if anyone’s to blame it’s probably me. Well really it’s probably Herold, but it’s got nothing to do you with you. Hell you were the hero here if we’re all being honest.”

I wasn’t sure how to react to Brad’s softened reassurance. All I’ll say is I didn’t usually look to him for anything along the lines of consolation and comfort. Even his suits looked scratchy from how stiff they were.

But regardless, I was grateful… even if I wasn’t necessarily worried about that part.

“And Pierre is a fucking dickhead but John knows how to handle him. Until John’s here though, maybe it’s best you wait in my car?” Brad suggested as he started to reach for his keys.

My eyes narrowed. “If you think I’m leaving Herold’s side just because I don’t want to deal with John’s shitty ex, you’re sadly mistaken.”

I wasn’t even sure where that directness had come from, but the thought of Herold being left alone with Brad and some asshole that couldn’t give a rats ass about him regardless of whether he was his owner, almost made me physically ill. Herold didn’t deserve that.

Brad’s eyes readjusted on mine, searching for something for what felt like literal hours, before he eventually just nodded. “I’m not leaving you alone with that guy though.” Brad added, to which my eyebrows furrowed some.

“And why’s that?” I asked. “It’s not like the guy’s gunna jump me or something… is he? Cause I’m sure Joan has told you that I don’t have healthcare.”

Brad paused a moment. “Let’s just say there’s unhinged, then there’s whatever possessive shit he’s got going on that you absolutely should not want any part of. I mean that Derek, Pierre is something else entirely.”

It was now my turn to readjust my gaze on Brad. The way he said those words… I couldn’t shake it. And unfortunately, I did have the time to. The door to the room opened again, however the man I saw step through was someone I didn’t recognize.

He had jet black hair, cut short almost military style. He was a bit shorter, but comparing anyone’s height to Brad’s honestly wasn’t fair. He was still taller than me, maybe 5’11 or 6’. His features were sharper, but most were masked by an impeccably short kept beard which matched the tone of his jet black hair. In his hand were a few bunches of white roses, and in his other a suitcase.

“They directed me to this room.” The man spoke, his voice deeper than I expected. When his eyes landed on Brad, whatever simple expression he had settled into, darkened some. “Brad.” This man noted.

“Pierre.” Brad replied with a coldness in his tone.

“It’s been a while.”

“Not long enough.”

Pierre’s face hardened more at Brad’s icy response, but it was the vets voice who interrupted whatever was going on.

“Okay, so we just need you to read through this here and we’ll get the little guy ready for surgery. We’ll be removing blockage from an intrusive item swallowed, and will update you on recovery time. Since it’s late, we could keep him here overnight if you approve it.”

Pierre reached forward, setting his briefcase on one of the chairs in the room, before taking the paperwork from the vet’s outstretched hand. “I don’t really think overnight-”

“John would want it.” Brad replied, cutting the man clean off. I hadn’t noticed how much Brad’s demeanor had changed until I watched his shoulders tighten further.

Pierre looked over at Brad a moment, before glancing back down at the paperwork. “Fine. Yeah. Whatever.” The man replied, nodding to the vet.

I watched as two additional vets entered the door on the other side of the room. They detached the table, before starting to wheel Herold out, while the vet who handed the paperwork to Pierre remained back to get a signature on a different form.

After everything was signed and handed back, that was when she left us in the room to our own devices. Judging by the immediate tension that traveled through each of us, I don’t think she wanted to spend another minute here… hell I almost asked her if she could just take me with her. I’d scrub in in a heartbeat.

“So where’s John?” Pierre asked.

“On his way.” Brad responded.

“From where?”

“A place, I’m sure.”

Maybe waiting in the car was a good option.

“Flying or driving?”

“Teleporting.”

Alright. That one got a very unexpected chuckle out of me. One I’d soon come to regret, because all that charged energy between Brad and Pierre was broken, when both their gaze turned to mine.

“And who’s this?” Pierre asked.

“Derek-” I spoke.

“-Someone.” Brad answered at the same time, before he quickly turned to me disapprovingly.

Clearly we weren’t quite on the same page yet. Fifteen seconds into this verbal battle and I was already losing. Awesome.

“Derek.” Pierre more or less stated, ignoring Brad. “Why are you here?”

“He works for Mavericks Corp.” Brad replied. “He’s doing business with Ivanov Corp.”

I had to stop myself from making a face at Brad because while I had no fucking clue what the hell he was getting on about, I’m sure he did. At least I hoped. I was deciding to go: trust the lawyer here, for $200.

“And why is he here with my cat?”

“ Your cat is a stretch if I ever heard one. He’s here with me, and that’s really all you need to know.“ Brad snapped, his tolerance for both this man and today was clearly reaching a head. Pierre’s eyebrows raised some.

“You finally dipped your toes in the homos?” This stranger asked. That whole phrase took me by surprise, but all Brad did was chuckle.

“As long as there’s people like you over there, the whole lgbtq+ community will absolutely never know peace. Thanks but no thanks.”

I had never in all my days seen Brad this offensive. As my eyes darted back and forth between the two, I was just grateful Brad was on our side… I think?

The look Pierre was sending back could cut through steel cut doors now. “I should’ve known. You far prefer your work as your partner. The only getting laid you experience is when the defense rests.”

Brad didn’t waste any time with his rebuttal. “Man- a trip down memory lane is just what I needed. I was getting home sick. Last I recall you cheated on your relationship with your work… only for your company to take a 6% dip in stock value under your direct guidance and misuse of funds based of your first and second quarter financials. I’d say you’re not scoring on or off the field right now, Pierre. But please, coach me on my love life.”

The look in Pierre’s eyes could kill now. Brad had hit every nerve this man had as if he was playing him like an accordion. Maybe that’s what sent my heart plummeting when we all heard the sound of Brad’s phone going off.

He reached into his pocket before pulling out the phone and unlocking the screen. I swear I heard him mutter “ shit “ under his breath when he was who was calling, then he barely looked up before quickly dismissing himself from the waiting room…

And all he left were two.

Me…

And this pissed off, unhinged ex.

••

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43. Ex Boyfriend, And Our Cat

Gotta make up for all that lost time this last month;)

Enjoy, lovelies <3

Love you guys sm

xoxo

Side Note: what was y’alls favourite/most played song this year?

Mine’s tied for:

Make Up (ft Crush) - Sam Kim

Stay For A While - Victor Ray (this SERIOUSLY needs more plays than it has cause wtf)

Derek

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I straight up couldn’t believe that Brad had just left me to the wolves. Or… wolf.

One hungry, lone wolf.

At first I thought what could possibly warrant him to leave me?

Then I remembered the Ivanov’s had a whole lotta whole lot going on right now that I’m sure Pierre needed to know the least about. This was why I tried to keep my answers as short as possible when questions started flying.

“What do you do at Mavericks?” Pierre asked, leaning against the wall where the door he walked through and Brad left through, was. Brad had kept it open which made me feel a little more safe. Like someone would hear my screams if needed.

I watched Pierre toss the bunch of white flowers onto the chair next to his travel suitcase a bit carelessly, while his eyes barely ever left mine.

Or rather me, I refused to meet this guy’s gaze at all costs. It was way less intimidating staring at the door the vets disappeared through what now felt like hours ago, instead of at him.

“I work in-” I stopped a second. “At a job. I work at a job.”

There , I nodded slightly to myself. Brad would be proud of that one.

Through my peripheral vision, I saw Pierre shift weight a bit, yet he didn’t decide to sit. I didn’t sit either, hoping that at any second Brad would walk through that doorway like my knight in stiff suits armor.

There was a longer pause before Pierre said anything, and at this point I couldn’t tell how long we had been standing here alone. When he spoke again, it almost made me jump.

“I’m sure Brad and I can take it from here till John returns. Why don’t you head home?”

That pulled my gaze away from the door, to meet his finally. “I’m here for Herold.” I stated simply.

Pierre scoffed. “I’ll take care of him.”

I felt my eyebrows raise some. “From what I’ve heard, I don’t think you’re capable. Isn’t that why John has him?”

There was a clear flash of anger that overwhelmed Pierre’s face, before he tried to relax himself a little. The anger just transformed to straight irritation.

“Whatever Brad told you-”

“John did.” I corrected him, watching as some of that anger crept up on him again. “And plus, I came here with Brad. So at the very least, I’m leaving when he is.”

“He-” Pierre started, the he stopped himself. “…Fine. You and Brad stay with that hellish cat. John and I have things to discuss anyways.”

I felt my face scrunch up some, but I forced my own irritations down immediately after. I had the upper ground right now… at least I’m pretty sure I did. And I wasn’t trying to lose it. “From what I’ve heard, there hasn’t been anything to discuss for at least a year.” Those words slipped past my lips before I could overthink them, and judging by the slightly visible veins starting to form against his temple, I’d struck a nerve.

“How close exactly are you to John?” He asked me, his jaw locking then unlocking slightly.

“Close enough to know that he wouldn’t leave his cat that’s in surgery, to go do anything… let alone anything with you.” I snipped back, allowing just a bit of my anger to slip through.

See, Pierre had most definitely hopped on one of his fancy planes to see John.

John however, had hopped on one of his fancy planes to see Herold.

Now I may not have been playing with a full deck here, but even I wasn’t stupid enough to think John would fly in for Pierre. John loved the fucking hell outta that cat.

But before Pierre could get another word in, we both heard someone clear their throat from the doorway maybe three or four feet away from Pierre.

My heart filled with immediate warmth at the thought of Brad coming in to save me, but when I locked eyes with who was at the door, my entire being stilled.

Leaning against the doorframe was none other than John Terry.

And he looked- I mean- I-

His hair for starters wasn’t perfect at all, which added to this disheveled look I wasn’t used to seeing him in. He- that messy hair. The undone tie and half unbuttoned shirt. Even his dress shoes had a crease like he had been running in them.

I felt my body grow warm when my eyes found his again. They were looking directly at me. The smile that spread across his lips made my heart reconfigure its rhythm. It coerced its own smile from me, but I didn’t manage a single word before Brad popped up from behind John like he was hiding there all along.

“Come here for a second.” Brad beckoned to me, not really asking but more or less telling. That reminded me that Pierre was still very much here, and though I wanted to fight tooth and nail against leaving that fuck face here alone with John, I put on my big boy pants and headed towards the door.

Before I could pass through completely, shimmying past John, his hand reached out to stop me. There was barely any space in the doorway between us as is, and yet he still dipped his head down to whisper something to me.

“ I missed you. “ He practically murmured against my ear, almost turning my legs to jelly as he pulled away slightly to catch my gaze. My face was absolutely beet red right now, and the stupid cheesy grin I had plastered on my face made me forget where we were entirely.

It was Brad clearing his throat that forced John to finally let go, before I did something stupid… like kiss him.

I let Brad lead me out of the waiting room, watching as John turned to head inside before the door closed.

John

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I tried to wipe this smile off my face as I shut the waiting room door behind me, but being back and seeing Derek here just- it felt good. Too fucking good.

Of course the dreadful part of this situation presented itself in a man that was now trying to hand me flowers.

“These are for you.” Pierre spoke, giving me one of his once charming smiles.

“You brought me roses? I’m not the one in surgery.” I replied with a good amount of irritation.

“What the hell is a cat going to do with flowers I buy?” He asked, some of that charm quickly slipping.

“What the hell am I going to do with flowers you buy?”

“Put them in a vase of something.”

It was my turn to dryly chuckle. “They’d look better in a bin. Preferable a trash bin.”

Pierre’s face settled back into what it usually was. Just sly of the Grinch’s.

“I got your favourite.” He tried to explain. I looked down at the white roses with a struggle not to roll my eyes all the way to the back of my fucking head.

“Red roses.” I reiterated for what had to be the one thousandth time over the many many years I’ve known this man for. His favourite were a batch of colorful tulips, and I remembered that from the first goddamn date we had. “You couldn’t even get that right.”

Pierre glanced down at the flowers in his hand, before tossing them in the trash nearby. “You know, you don’t have to be this way.”

“And since you signed the papers for Herold, you don’t have to be here at all.” I reminded him.

“He’s still my cat-” Pierre tried to start, but my anger cut him off.

“Oh for the love of god, cut that shit out Pierre. Go fly back off to wherever the hell you came from, I’ll take it from here. I’ve always taken things from here.

Pierre shook his head. “I’m not going back to NYC just yet. The Onyx Comic Cocktail Party, remember?” My eyebrows tightened slightly in confusion. “That was a couples donation we made a few years ago that got me as an attendee this year. Aren’t you doing a speech?”

I froze a moment, forgetting all about that. And the fact that it was next week. And the fact that Pierre technically did have an invite because of our ginormous donation a few years ago to help Onyx kick off their own comic-con like annual convention.

Fuck man, I really needed an assistant.

And I hadn’t even started on that speech yet. Marty would be getting all of like 20 words out of me for it, cause I honestly didn’t have time for any of that shit.

The door on the opposite of us opening, is what pulled both myself and Pierre away from what was about to be a real heated conversation. The vet that entered must’ve felt it too because the smile that she had on, immediately faltered.

“So you two are then…”

“Ex boyfriend,” I jerked my hand in Pierre’s direction, “and our cat.” I then pointed to the paperwork in the vets hand.

“Right…” she nodded. “So, Herold’s doing great. We’ll keep him overnight just to make sure he’s alright, and you can pick him up in the morning. This,” the vet stepped forward to hand Pierre the paperwork but I intercepted it. “Uh- that’s the treatment plan and care instructions, however the vet will also walk you through everything during pick up.”

I glanced down, scanning over the papers to get a quick overview of what needed to be done, before I folded them and tucked the thin stack inside my suit jacket.

God, I couldn’t wait to get out of these fucking clothes.

“You’re friends are in the next room with Herold now, did you want to see the little guy before you go?”

“Yes.” I answered immediately not caring to hear what Pierre’s answer would be, but instead allowed the vet as she led me out into the next room through the door she walked in from. Pierre followed closely behind, the wheels of his suitcase rolling against the linoleum and echoing down the otherwise empty hall.

When she brought us to the open room, I first saw Brad standing besides the comfortable looking cot-like bed they had Herold nestled in. Derek was to the other side of him, crouching down to give the now sleeping Herold the gentlest head rubs. Derek had a soft smile on his face as he whispered quietly to my cat, and it made me slow to a stop.

I didn’t want to interrupt him. Hell, I wish I had the energy to stay all night just so I could watch him like this, but the crashing my body was doing at this moment, was beckoning me home. From what Brad had described when I first pulled into the hospital, I had a mess I was coming home to clean.

Derek was really the only one out of all of us that managed to look the most together. Even Pierre seemed like he had a rough plane ride here. Brad looked like he was jumped by a lion, and this was by far the most stressed my look has ever been.

Yet there Derek was, crouched down comforting Herold with not another care in the world besides my cat.

Pierre managed to accidentally bump into the back of me with his suitcase which was what finally caught Derek’s attention, while the vet walked towards a computer on the far right.

I made my way towards Derek, ignoring the uncomfortable suit I was in as I crouched down right beside him to check out my child. Herold was fast asleep, sleeping just how he did whenever he was sprawled out on my stomach.

I glanced over at Derek who was still petting him softly, but Brad’s coughing pulled both our attention over to him.

“Well,” he said to the room suddenly like he was addressing the court, “I need everything from a shower, to a first aid kit, to sleep. And explaining this,” Brad gestured to his wild state, “to Joan has to fit somewhere in there. So while I’d hate to leave you all so abruptly, good night.” Brad didn’t even wait for goodbyes before he straightened his torn up suit jacket, gave the vet a courteous nod, and walked himself out.

“Honestly we should probably get going too.” I told Derek softly. “Brad told me your bike is at mine?” He turned, catching my gaze finally since we walked into this room, and give me a nod. I could see his cheeks turning color which just made me want him alone to myself more. My hand reached out, gently lacing his in mine as I stood us up. “We’ll be back tomorrow, first thing in the morning.” I told the vet, leading Derek out right behind me.

“We?” Derek asked in a hushed tone. I turned back slightly to give him a grin.

“Yes, we .”

The vet gave me a nod, accompanied by a warm smile when her eyes dropped to my hand in Derek’s momentarily- which was the first smile of the night in my direction, might I add.

“He’s real good with him.” She spoke lightly to me, nodding behind me at Derek.

I didn’t know if the gorgeous man behind me caught that, but I gave the vet a smile in return. “Yeah. He really is.” I responded before leading Derek and I further out of the room. Before we could pass through the door completely, I heard the small whining of a cockroach somewhere behind me.

“So… you’re just leaving then?” Pierre asked.

“Pierre, you can roll a sleeping bag out and sleep outside for all I care.” I replied, refusing to neither turn to acknowledge him, nor hear the complaints of a very rich man in his own right. It was the masked chuckle I heard from Derek behind me that put a smile once again when I remembered where we were going, and pulled him further along.

Home.

I let Derek drive.

If I was being honest, it allowed me a few moments of much needed rest. I could tell he was nervous about it considering the car I owned was expensive, but I assured him the odds of us crashing tonight were much higher if I drove

He kept his hand on the gear shift with a death like grip, so I eventually pulled it away, and locked it in mine. Lifting his hand to my lips to kiss it softly made Derek unintentionally jerked the car, so I decided keeping it rested in my lap was a safer bet.

By the time we reached the house, it was well into the night. The dashboard of my convertible read closer to midnight, and man I was feeling it.

Derek, much to my insistence and dismay, helped me bring my suitcases and work shit inside. I think it was his final act of kindness to comfort the blow for the state my home was about to be found in.

“Well. Fuck.” I whispered, looking around at the scattered vomit and ripped furniture.

“It’s not that-… well okay no, it’s pretty bad.” Derek admitted from somewhere behind me. I had to watch my step when I set all my bags on the now ruined leather couch. I wasn’t even mad or upset about that though. All I could think about was Herold going through all this while I wasn’t here.

I was so caught up in assessing the mess, I didn’t even notice Derek moving about the home until I heard some paper towels rip. When I looked over to the kitchen area, Derek had already laid out cleaning products, a box of rubber gloves, and two rolls of paper towels.

“Oh no you d-” I started to say, but Derek put the hand that was now in a massive yellow cleaning glove, up in protest.

“If we’re both heading to the hospital tomorrow, I already know I’ll have no say in staying here tonight- which no worries, I absolutely did not plan on protesting that- however, I refuse to stay here tonight and just watch you clean. You’ve clearly had a long day and I want to help.”

My gaze held Derek’s stubborn one for what felt like an unreal amount of time, before I accepted my dearest and took a step closer to him. “Have I ever told you how much I adore you?” I asked him lowly.

He slowly nodded his head. “I think so. But after we’re done here…. maybe you um-… maybe you can show me?”

My eyes darkened at his words. The fresh rosy blush spreading across his face.

And I have never in my life snatched a pair of cleaning gloves so fast.

••

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44. Punishment Or Reward?

Happy New Year, lovelies!!

I’m late as all hell on this upload because I hit a fucking deer on NYE and fucked up my new car.

Two days in, and 2024 already got me fucked all the way up man.

Fuck Minnesota.

I might just fuck around and become a hunter cause now I HAVE to go get it back in blood.

I’m so livid right now, I might watch Bambi again just to see the mum’s death

(JK of course, I haven’t completely lost my gd mind)

Andywhoooo,

Warning: Explicit Content ;)

Derek

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Herold and the Ivanovs really did a number on the home.

What I thought was going to be a simple clean up, only multiplied when we realized some of Herold’s throw up got on the rugs. I didn’t really care though. John and I just spent the time catching up as we cleaned together.

“I never want to do that again.” John spoke a bit suddenly. I heard the waste bin open from the kitchen area for the ten thousandth time tonight.

“Do what?” I asked.

“Go that long without us talking. Without me hearing your voice.” John replied simply from somewhere behind me. “Never realized how bland some people could be, until I spent even just a fraction of time with you.”

My back was to John because I was currently trying to sweep up all the couch filler the was ripped out by Herold’s nails and pushed under the couch itself, but that made me turn back around instantly. John glanced over, sending me a grin that I couldn’t help but return.

“I uh-” I paused, working up the courage to say this back. The courage I lacked at the hospital. “I missed you… too.”

John’s smile widened.

“Well since Herold has a bit of recovery time, looks like my NYC trip will be cut short.”

I was conflicted on how to feel about that, because while I didn’t want John’s work to be even remotely more stretched, I couldn’t help how genuinely happy I was when I was around him. When he was here.

“Not all bad things came from today though.” John continued, his words caught my attention once more. “Have you heard of Onyx?”

The whiplash my face experienced when it went from intrigue, to looking at John like he had just asked me if I knew who the current president was, was damn near legendary.

“You mean one of the largest comic book producing companies in the industry? Yeah, no, I think that names come up once or twice in my lifetime.”

That made John laugh, and I had to force myself to at least look a little busy at cleaning, so I wasn’t staring. John was already finishing up disinfecting the dining room table and his meticulousness with cleaning was only putting mine to shame.

“Well how would you like to go with me to their cocktail party next week?”

Alright that made me set every cleaning product in hand, down, to give John my full attention.

“Like as in your plus one?!” I couldn’t control my budding excitement regardless of how hard I tried.

“No,” John shook his head immediately. “Like as in my date.”

The excitement was still there, but leave it to John to make me suddenly feel all mushy inside too. All the words I was once contemplating saying, were now jammed into this box, then shook around until the order they should’ve been in was known to no one. Not even myself.

“I-” I started, unsure of how to continue.

“If you’re okay with that.” John rushed out, immediately feeling my hesitance.

“I’d-” I started again, but this time I tried to sort out the mush of emotions before I said something stupid. “I’d like that… like- I’d really really like that.”

The look John gave me made me want to give up on cleaning entirely.

“You should know though,” John continued, “that Pierre will be there. I personally have stopped caring what that idiot does, but I don’t want anymore surprises with you.” He was starting to put away some of the supplies he had used, so I rushed to finish up with him.

“I don’t mind.” Those words fell past my lips before I could even think about them. But they were right. I didn’t give a shit what that jackass did either.

“ Speaking of which ,“ John turned to me again but I forced myself to focus on picking up these last bits of torn leather. “I caught that last part of your conversation with him at the hospital.”

That made my hands freeze mid stride.

“The part about uh- about me not leaving Herold for anything.” John’s face was the one that turned a bit flush now as I looked up at him again, but I wasn’t sure why. “I just- no one’s really- I…”

My hands, much like the rest of me, were still frozen. John’s whole demeanor had shifted, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he seemed nervous. My eyes followed his movements, watching as he went from the kitchen to the living room where I was. I wasn’t sure what he was doing until he knelt down to help me sweep the debris into the dust collector.

“ You defending me like that did something to me. “ He whispered that last part from right beside me as he looked over to catch my gaze again.

I could practically feel the speeds in which blush was spreading across my face. I wasn’t expecting this at all.

“It- I- Well I mean, I-I’ve seen how much you care for Herold.” I tried to explain. My voice sounded so small, it was distracted momentarily by John’s lips as I watched his tongue glide against them briefly. Shit, this man looked so fucking good right now it was practically hurting me . He slid those rubber gloves off, before turning to me completely. He was kneeling just like I was, but his height had him towering over me with ease.

Nevertheless, he used one of his massive hands to tilt my head up towards him.

“Hearing you defend me like that when I wasn’t there to do it myself… I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone or something more desperately than you.” I felt John’s hand gently caress the ridged edge of my jawline, as a small smile formed on his lips. This time I decided not to even risk it by opening my mouth.

Instead I closed the distance, pushing myself up off the back of my legs to get some height so I could reach him. John let out a quiet gasp before I felt his arms at my waist, pulling me even closer to him without any hesitation.

His lips felt like something I hadn’t touched in ages. I kept my hands at my side because I didn’t want to touch him with these now dirty gloves on, but John made that difficult when I felt his tongue almost immediately graze my lips, asking for entrance. I had to force myself to pull away because regardless of how badly I wanted to push John back on this hardwood floor and straddle him, I needed to clean up first. Hell, clean me up first.

“ Fuck ,“ John whispered, his hands eventually agreeing to let me go. They had kept a tight lock, almost daring me to try an escape.

I personally had no issues with being laid to rest in those very same incredibly firm and toned arms, so escaping wasn’t even on the table.

“We should probably take a shower.” John added. He was already pushing himself up to stand, then he stretched out a hand to help me up.

“Why don’t you go first? I’m almost done here, then I can go after.” I offered John. He sure as hell deserved to go first, I kept forgetting that he literally flew here. Before I could pass by John to pick up the rest of the cleaning supplies, his arm reached out to stop me.

I glanced down at the hand that was now on my forearm. It was gently starting to slide down my bare skin until it reached the bottom opening of the glove. Two fingers then hooked themselves onto the material, and John slowly pulled the comically large glove off me. He tossed it on the floor next to the dust collector, before signally for me to give him my other hand.

I just let him remove them for me because, honestly, there was no winning with John… and he had a knack for making losing feel oh so fucking good.

His gaze caught mine once he was done. “I said ‘we.’”

Who knew the breath I sharply inhaled would be so fucking loud. I sure didn’t. In an effort to mask anymore embarrassment that would surely follow if I opened my mouth now, all I did was nod up at this gorgeous man with those perfect set of teeth and deepened dimples.

“I’ll get the water warm.” He whispered to me, before giving my forehead a gentle kiss. That was when he finally let go, leaving me alone in his living room with nothing but my thoughts. Many of them legitimate. Some unholy.

Like how exactly was I supposed to take a shower with John, without my heart giving in and failing on me?

The answer to that specific thought was simply: I wasn’t. Heart failure was inevitable, and I only understood that when I caught the silhouette of John’s body through his glass shower’s door. The bathroom was already fogging up with the steam from the shower so I couldn’t see much of him, but from what I did see, I was quickly reminded of just how perfect John really was.

He had to have had the hearing of a damn owl, because he called out seconds later. “Come in, the waters hot.”

You’ll be fine Derek , I tried to tell myself. I was running through a list of positive affirmations as I slowly began to strip in front of the bathroom mirror, but it was the sight I caught from the corner of my eye that made me almost jump. John had his head popped up over the glass door and he was watching me.

If you could even call it that, he was really watching every last article of clothing fall to the ground with a look that would’ve made these clothes disintegrate if I wasn’t already pulling them off. I turned my head slightly to his reflection through the mirror, giving him a look to which he just grinned at.

“You’re almost there, baby.”

I damn near knocked his entire cologne collection down at those words when I pulled my phone out of my work pants, and went to set it on the counter. The way he said that just- Jesus fucking Christ I was not going to be okay.

My shaky hands forced themselves to the waistband of my briefs, before slowly pulling them down. I wondered if John knew that what currently looked like a strip show I was supposedly giving him, were really just slow movements from my insane nerves. I wasn’t sure how one person could make me this nervous over something as simple as showering together.

I’d done this with countless chicks in the past. Hell, it was one of my main ploys for shower sex after morning sex. I usually started it with a fun fact on how the average home wastes about ninety gallons a day, which rounds to about ten thousand gallons per household per year. 

Then I’d discuss the intimacy that comes with washing a partner, et cetera et cetera. It almost always ended in shower sex which back then worked great for little ol’ me.

Ah , I sighed to myself. I was once a simply man with simple tastes… but now…

I caught John’s gaze through the mirror again. His gorgeous green eyes were dark, and I could already feel myself getting hard in anticipation.

Oh how things have changed.

“Come here.” He spoke again, and this time, it was an order. One that had me moving before I could even tell my legs to. Those two words ran through me with a shiver, forcing my eyes to John’s as he held the glass shower door open for me. His eyes were over every last inch of my now bare self, before he pulled me in towards him.

I could feel his hard cock pressed against my abdomen, and if it wasn’t for the warm water spreading across us, I would’ve shivered at the feeling. John had absolutely no problem letting me know just how much I turned him on. I on the other hand was trying and failing miserably to mask my own response to him.

John’s hair was darker from the water. His skin looked like gold under the stream from the shower head, and each droplet felt like water from the unique shape of the shower head itself. One of John’s arms was still wrapped tight around my waist, holding me against him with no room between us. I felt him slowly walk us back until my back was flush against the shower wall.

I’d argue the sound of my heartbeat right now could rival the sound of the shower running, it was that damn loud.

“You are quite possibly one of the most beautiful humans I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing naked.” John whispered to me. “You make me want to start a petition to make clothes optional.”

I could already feel myself getting light headed, and I couldn’t tell whether it was from the shower’s steam, or how completely raw John’s voice was now, especially when he said those words. I felt my tip start to leak with need, and it was in this moment I couldn’t be more grateful that there was water all around us.

“I- that’s y-you-” I struggled to get out. John’s free hand had started gently tracing the outline of my features. Starting at my jaw, down to my neck. I was melting under him, ready to give in to whatever this man wanted tonight. “D-Did you um- did you want to be um- like rough-” words were curb stomping my ass right now, but staring up at John and the seduction that was his gaze, just made thinking impossible.

It took John a moment, but once he understood what I was asking, his grip on my waist tightened.

“Though seeing you all tied up submitting to me completely, entices me in ways I didn’t think was humanly possible… that’s not what tonight’s about.”

The way he said those words made my knees completely weak.

“ Tonight you did good …“ he murmured, allowing his voice to fade some. His hand had reached my chest, and when a finger grazed a taught nipple, my eyes unintentionally closed. I let out a soft moan, one that made John’s grip around my waist tighten again. “You did so fucking good…”

I shuddered at that, letting my head rest back against the wall. John’s voice right now mixed with his touch was making my leaking tip worse. I needed to get a grip.

“And since you were a good boy, tonight’s not about punishing you.” His hand trailed further, separating our bodies some until he had the space to reach my cock. I felt him swipe his thumb against the wetness of the tip, and my hands reached out to grip his bare arms immediately. The jolts of pleasure were unimaginable and completely unexpected. “Tonight’s about rewarding you. And I plan on showing you just how grateful I really am.”

All I could do was watch on with anticipation, holding John’s wildly intense gaze as he slowly lowered himself to his knees.

••

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45. The Things I Do For Love

We got about ten chapters left lovelies, so buckle tf up and let’s have a ball <3

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Warning: Explicit Content ;)

John

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There were very few things I had the energy for tonight…

And yet, the look Derek gave me from those low hooded eyes as he watched me slowly take his cock inside my mouth, had me deciding I’d figure out just how hard I overextended tonight, come tomorrow morning.

Derek’s hands grasped behind him at the stone wall of the shower, but his hands just slid down the wet sides, offering nothing for him to grab hold onto. Instead, I moved my hands from his thighs to his own, using them to pin his wrists against the wall. I wasn’t rough with him this time, not like I kinda was in the past.. that wasn’t what I wanted tonight. Derek’s legs were a bit shaky though, especially when my tongue pushed against his tip, so I decided if I didn’t have him pinned back somewhere, I honestly wasn’t sure he would still hold himself up.

Derek was just too unpredictable to risk it. Especially when he didn’t know how to react to something, which was a lot of the time.

And maybe I was the crazy one for liking that about him so goddamn much. Liking how much I could read the emotions on his face when I touched him, because he kinda lacked the quick thinking it took at times to mask them.

“J-John-” Derek’s voice was rough. Barely audible, mixed in with his moans, low groans, and the sound of the shower water hitting us and the stone floor. “I-I,wait-”

I leant forward, that feeling of my resolve quickly releasing itself from the chambers of my body the louder this man got. My eyes wandered as I slowly slipped Derek’s cock out of my mouth, before pushing it to the back of my throat again. I watched the water quickly cascade down his delicate neck, following his veins and tendons down to his toned chest. It actually took a good deal of maneuvering to make sure the water didn’t drip drown past my hair to my eyes, but I wasn’t giving up watching Derek climax.

And he was close, even though he didn’t want to admit it. I hadn’t touched him for long tonight, but it had also been a little while since I last did. I wondered whether he relieved that tension in my absence… and how often he did it.

“ J-John- “ Derek tried to get out again. I watched those eyelids close, before they tightened shut. His hands balled up into fists but I slid mine down his wrist before forcing them open so I could hold them. Then I moved a little faster, sucking harder as I danced the line of Derek’s limits.

“W-Wait- I’m going to- I can’t-” His chest rose and fell now like he was on the cool down from a marathon, and when I felt his hands squeeze mine with an unexpected death grip, I felt his warm cum fill my mouth a second later. He tried to pull away at that last moment but I had him pinned between the wall and my mouth.

And if it wasn’t for my quick movements, Derek’s legs would’ve given out before I finished kissing my way back up. I let him stumble into me instead, catching his now shaking body with ease as it rode the tail end of his intense orgasm. That in return sent shivers down my spine. I felt his soft breathes on my chest as the warm water surrounded us, before I gently wrapped my arms around him.

“Can I-”

“No.” I replied sternly before he could even finish the thought. My head dipped lower so I could whisper something close to his ear. Something I wanted to make sure couldn’t be muffled by the sound of the water. “I already got everything I wanted and needed tonight. Let me finish washing you .”

Derek’s body shivered at my words, but he nodded into my chest. No doubt still trying to mask the redness in his face that reached all the way to the tips of his ears.

After a thorough shower- one I insisted on waking Derek during regardless of his exhausted protests where he stated that he could wash himself, sleep found us as soon as our bodies made contact with a mattress.

It was the sound of my piercing alarm going off the following morning that made me want to swing on something or someone. Anything at this point.

…but then it was the scent of Derek’s soft locks under my chin.

…And the light kisses on my arm which was draped over his neck and shoulders, holding his back flushed against my chest.

All of this was quickly turning my anger into something else. And when his ass brushed against my now growing hard on, the hold I had on his upper body tightened.

“J-John-” Derek whined, struggling to ease my grip some. “We have to get up.”

“Any more movement out of you and we’ll never leave this bed.” I countered, my voice coming out more rougher than intended when my lips brushed against the edge of his ear.

Derek stilled immediately, allowing his body to fall victim to mine in a game he was quickly losing… but then there was one word he uttered shortly after, a word that reminded me of what exactly being a responsible human and cat dad meant. .

“ Herold .“ Derek reminded me, replying with a wicked defense strategy. I kept my arm wrapped like that for just another moment before I eventually released him.

“You drive a hard bargain my friend.”

“Oh friend huh?” Derek teased, his voice low but coy. In about an instant after that, I had grabbed his hand and flipped him over. He was now on his back, staring up at me with both his hands pinned deep into the pillows by my own.

“ Boyfriend .“ I clarified slowly, watching Derek intently as his complexion deepened with redness. His gaze struggled to hold mine with that. He still had the glossy overlay in his eyes from sleep, making him look all the more angelic than his sharp features already did, and his hair was a mess, but its chaotic nature had grown on me much like Derek had- faster than a fucking chia pet.

But all that immediate shyness didn’t stop him from slowly nodding his head. A smile crept across my face before I dipped down to give him one soft brief kiss.

“But you’re right.” I added, pulling away. “It’s about time to pick the little guy.”

As soon as Herold made it home from the hospital, this cat couldn’t figure out who’s side he didn’t want to leave… or rather who he wanted near his side at constant attention, since he was still ordered to rest. He whined as soon as I left his bed to get him some water. Then he wailed bloody murder when all Derek did was leave to move his bike inside my garage. The sun was currently playing a will they won’t they game with rain and I didn’t want it sitting out during one of skies disputes.

That just meant that Derek and I had to keep within the confines of a fifteen yard radius if we wanted Herold to shut the hell up. This also meant that the surprise call I needed to take from Gillian at Onyx was going to be complicated with Derek here.

“Hey man,” I spoke into the line tentatively, unbuttoning more of the buttons on my dress shirt. My gaze met Derek’s expected one, to which he immediately started busying himself with sorting out Herold’s medication. I kept telling him I would get to it after this work call, but Derek said he simply did not know how to continue on living if I didn’t let him put the medication into their own daily tabs for the little guy.

I couldn’t lose the grin plastered on my face this time around, nor could I tell what I loved more… The way Derek was as I watched him care for Herold, or the way Derek looked when I caught his eyes on me. I loved how he still acted like looking was off limits, when we were well well past that.

“Where’ve you been, dickhead?” Gillian replied through the line.

His words were a choice that’s for sure, but his tone was friendly.

“It’s like… I tell you all I prefer to do my philanthropy from the shadows… then it’s all surprised Pikachu faces when I retreat to, or emerge from the shadows.”

“Oh you know it’s more than that,” Gillian replied. “There’s good business to be had between Onyx and Mavericks but you’re a hard man to pin down, John Terry.”

I glanced at Derek again. I could think of one man I wouldn’t mind mounting-

John.

Please .

Right now a partnership with the Ivanov’s was quite literally all I had the time for. And it was a partnership I had been thinking of since my college days; I just needed to test the waters and see where Ivanov Corp both stood, and would stand in the coming years.

Though that family was absolutely nuts, they were also apart of my family in a way. God, I wondered what that said about me.

“And I promise, we’ll revisit this in two years time when things settle at Mavericks.”

“You said that last year.” Gillian reminded me.

“Keeping count will only depress you.” I replied with. That earned me another odd look from Derek, before he went back to taking notes on Herold’s recovery plan.

He was so fucking cute sitting criss cross on the floor next to Herold’s large bed. Herold would fuss as soon as Derek moved, but Derek didn’t seem to mind staying at his side. This man somehow managed to make my home feel more like… a home, I guess. I wasn’t sure how to explain it, but watching him with Herold while I worked made me realize how much I didn’t mind this.

How much I maybe wanted this.

“If it wasn’t for Marty calling to confirm your attendance for the Cocktail event, I would’ve thought you moved to Bali or something.”

“Nah, the shadows. Remember?”

“How could I forget.” Gillian grumbled. “Anyways, Marty also told me about your pitch. Or rather, your boyfriend’s.”

“He’s n-” I started, before stopping myself quickly.

My mind flashed back to this morning. The look in Derek’s eyes as he laid underneath me… accompanied by the nod he gave me to only officially confirm something we otherwise already pretty much knew. I think. I glanced over from my notes to Derek again now, watching as he placed the spoon filled with a soothing lick treat in front of Herold, who gratefully had some.

Yeah… I really didn’t want anyone else.

“It’s his.” I nodded like Gillian was here to see it. “How’d you like it?”

“Well I knew before Marty got done with the pitch that it wasn’t from you. I was seriously impressed, like I want to talk at the cocktail party about this, type of impressed. Did you have more issues completed? I want a full in depth elaboration.”

I thought to myself, remembering the conversations Derek and I had. “Yeah I think he’s making good progress. You’ll actually be able to ask him yourself.” I paused a second before asking this next question. “Are you by chance in charge of the guest list?”

There was a pause on Gillian’s end. “Marty told me about your situation. It was a joint donation, John. I can’t get Pierre off.”

“Right.” I nodded. “I get it.”

“You more than anyone should get it. You know money is your skeleton key to any door in the mansion that is capitalism and consumerism. And you, my good sir, donated so much you’re practically the locksmith. You guys are literally first on that list.”

I sighed. “Yep, no I get that. And I understand it. I don’t respect it, but I understand it.”

Derek looked up at me again briefly, but I only caught it from the corner o my eye as I started to write dates down in my planner. It was the vibrating of my phone that took me back a little as I pulled it away from my ear briefly.

“Shit sorry Gillian, my FA’s calling.”

“No problem, I’ll see you next week. That speech better be written.”

“Bye Gillian.” I spoke quickly, switching the call before Gillian could get any more words in about the speech that definitely wasn’t written yet. Everyone was going to need to plan for mediocre at best. “Don!” I greeted cheerily through the line. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Well,” Don started immediately, “I first wanted to see how Herold was doing. I don’t care for that cat at all but clearly you do, so here I am offering my condolences or prayers or whatever.”

That made me laugh. “Condolences are usually for the dead. Herold’s very much still kicking and he’s doing well. Derek’s been with him,” I explained.

“Oh perfect. I saw your email this morning explaining the surgery. Speaking of that email…” Don cleared his throat and I quickly dropped the phone volume with buttons on the side, before bracing myself for impact. “What the FUCK do you mean you want me to start looking at office spaces there?!”

I took a deep breath. “I mean just that. Nothing crazy, we’ll still keep HQ in NY. I sent you some links, did you-”

“John. John . You can’t just relocate on a whim like this. You still have an office here. Staff here. Clients here.”

“And I’ll still be there .” I told Don, trying my best to keep my choice of words vague considering Derek didn’t know about this sudden decision quite yet either. I’d made it this morning before we left to get Herold, when I realized just how complicated going back and forth between states was going to be.

“So what are we supposed to do here-”

“I’ll lend you my office while I’m out.” I graciously offered, ready to end this conversation just about as soon as it started. The thing I loved the most about Don was that he always had a price.

“And your parking space.” He countered.

It was my turn to hesitate. “That would-”

“That’s the only thing that would make me say yes.”

I paused another moment, taking into account the dynamic of the office staff. “And what about Carson? This may bring you peace, but this is bringing hell right to my doorstep if I give you my space.”

“Well lucky for you, I’m ready to put this feud between Carson and I, behind me. And considering you won’t even be in NYC for most of this fiscal year, I think you can handle it.”

Just like that, Don had quite intentionally put a new target on my back.

And the man taking aim was none other than the Director of Human Resources.

Ah . The things I do for love, I couldn’t help but think as I found myself agreeing.

••

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46. Magasin De Costume… We Meet Again

Enjoy, lovelies!

xoxo

Derek

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“Remind me again why I’m here?” Christian cut in on Alex and I’s conversation. We were regrouping now to collect everyone’s suit election for me to try on, and of course Christian was already itching to leave.

“I truly have no idea Christian. I told you I was going to be home soon, but you insisted on joining remember?” Alex replied, folding up one of the suits he pulled off the rack as his selection.

“Well… Brad’s here,” Christian tried to explain.

“Yeah and I’m here for Joan.” Brad spoke, appearing suddenly from behind Christian to hand Alex a suit he selected for me.

“And only that.” Joan added, making sure to give Brad a look as she passed her selection over to Alex. I think she was referencing the cleanse Brad was currently on from buying any more suits, and from the look she gave him, it seems like Brad was close to cracking.

“ See

• everyone else is here, so…“ Christian explained, which made Alex roll his eyes. “And I’m pretty sure it was Derek who tagged along when we needed to get you a suit, remember? This is pay back.”

“I wouldn’t say we bring the same thing to the table.” I countered to Christian who was behind us. He was following Alex and myself over to the changing rooms, which had a large waiting area. “For starters, you’re not nearly as fun.” I could feel Christian’s eyes piercing through the back of my head now.

“I’m loads of fun. You’re just chaotic.” Christian grumbled that last bit to himself, which Alex turned back briefly to send Christian a look. It was nice seeing Joan and Alex outside of work, and since both their schedules had been hell these last few weeks, I particularly enjoyed the princess treatment I was getting today. Joan had already cussed out Brad on two separate occasions for me this afternoon, and I was on cloud fucking nine.

The only person that wasn’t here, was John. And though I wanted to be a sad mopey bitch about it, John was home still looking after Herold. He had managed to take some work from home days, which he asked me to stay over for and I wish I could’ve, but I wasn’t even going to bother asking our Sales Floor Manager to work from home. The answer would be no, it usually was whenever I had to ask that asshat for anything.

John’s consistent check ins also helped fill his absence.

Have you started trying things on?

I read the text that came through right as I was entering the fitting room. Alex had hung the five suits we all selected, on the hook behind the door.

Just starting now

John didn’t wait a second to respond.

Pics or it didn’t happen

That made me openly laugh. I set my phone down on one of benches, before looking over each suit selected. The color schemes were all pretty fucking boring besides the one I selected myself which was a beautiful light green, and the other was surprisingly Brad’s option.

He had chosen a suit that was a darker blue, standing out from the 3 bland black suits brought to me by Alex, Joan, and Christian. Sure, it was still boring, but at least it wasn’t black. I made a note to thank Brad for attempting to understand my very different color palette.

Joan and Alex had selected some nice complimentary ties however. I didn’t even bother with trying on the suit Christian selected because it was as standard as suits came. Just boring boring boring.

The first one I tried on and sent a picture to John, was Joan’s. I loved the purple tie she selected with her suit, but I kind of wished it was a bowtie instead. Once I stepped out of the fitting room to show the group, Joan and Alex were sitting patiently while Christian and Brad stood behind them. They all looked so cute chatting with their partners, and whatever they were talking about had to be engaging because they almost didn’t notice me.

“That’s it! That’s for sure a winner. You don’t even have to try on anything else.” Joan clapped her hands in excitement once she caught sight of her work.

“Absolutely not. Derek, my selection was the most refined. Go throw it on so I can show these amateurs what it truly means to select a suit.” Brad’s arms were folded across his chest as he spoke, only adding to the sass. I gave the group a chuckle, before making it back to the fitting room. Luckily there was barely anyone here at Magasin De Costume, and though I absolutely didn’t have the funds to be spending on a whole new suit, John was insistent that I buy something nice. So much so that he called the store ahead of time to work out the price.

I knew he wouldn’t accept it, but I was going to find a way to pay him back for this. The price tags almost made me keel over and die the first time Christian brought us here, so there was no way I was letting John pay.

The second suit I tried was Alex’s, which was also pretty boring but he selected a bright red bowtie which I liked. It kinda reminded me of a penguin since the suit and undershirt were black and white. It also got some good reception from the group once I stepped out, but it still was only just… meh. It definitely wasn’t me.

I managed to send the photos to John, but judging by the messages still saying delivered, I assumed John was probably off doing some work related stuff. I was hoping I’d get to hear his thoughts in real time while I was here, but I did my best to be understanding. I’m sure John’s Tuesday afternoon was even more stressful with Herold as restless as he was. I hadn’t seen him in person since Saturday, but the brief call I had with John Sunday revealed the hell Herold was putting him through.

Let’s just say that cat was not used to being bedridden for so long.

As soon as I got my selection on, I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face whan I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the fitting room mirror. The suit fit perfectly, so perfect that I still took a picture and sent it to John, even though I knew for a fact that I couldn’t get this one. Everyone sitting right outside the fitting room would absolutely not approve, regardless of how fucking dapper I looked and felt right now. It was such a hard no, I didn’t even bother showing the guys.

Instead, I slipped the suit back off, and put on Brad’s. And in his defense, he had done well. I popped out a moment later to immediate praise from Brad himself.

“Now this is what the hell I’m talking about.” Brad nodded to himself, before signalling for me to turn. He had paired the suit with a light pink tie that actually complimented the dark blue great. Brad may have been on a cleanse, but he sure as hell didn’t lose his touch.

“Fuck, you’re right.” Joan grumbled, clearly taking some offense to her suit not winning out.

“I think this is the one.” Alex agreed, but Christian cut in.

“Hey now, there’s still my option.” We all turned to him.

“Yeah I’m definitely not trying that on.” I replied honestly, which made Christian frown. “Hey! You’re the one who didn’t even try to choose something remotely interesting. Not even a pop of color with the tie. No effort whatsoever.”

Alex shrugged. “He’s not wrong. A grey tie is coming up short compared to our picks.”

Christian grumbled some, crossed his arms again, yet said nothing. Brad had no problem adding salt to the wound however.

“Yeah your boring choice pales in comparison to this one. Going up against me in general was a bad move on everyone else’s part. This is my area of expertise, and more importantly, my stomping grounds.”

“Oh we know ,” Joan chimed in. “You were greeted at the door with complimentary champagne.”

“I swear baby, I haven’t been back here in months.” Brad pleaded quietly, clearly still trying to convince Joan of his longstanding sobriety. I had absolutely no issues with what Brad spent his money on, but upon seeing these price tags again, I understood Joan’s concerns.

“Oh I know. The people who work here were acting like their father just got home from the war when they saw you walk through those glass doors.”

“Yeah I had to tell Susie we weren’t here for me.” Brad nodded a bit disappointingly.

“The the immediate sadness on her face was insane. She was acting like we just told her someone died.” Christian added.

“For the loss in revenue, I think we should let the store manager mourn in any way she deems fit.” Alex replied, coming to the managers defense.

“Well if we’ve made a decision, let’s get this checked out so Alex and I can head home.” Christian wasted no time getting out. He was ready to go from the second we got here.

“Which home?” Alex asked.

“Yours. I gave Nathaniel a week off.” Christian explained. Alex nodded, a smile tugging on his lips from Christian’s sweet gesture. I wondered if they’d start looking at places together now that they were married, but then I wondered what would happen to Nathaniel?

Speaking of Nathaniel, it’s been a minute since I last saw him . To be fair, a day at Christian’s place wasn’t something I dreamt about, but Nathaniel was a cool dude. We chatted a few times whenever he dropped by the office for Christian and stopped by to talk to Alex.

“Christian’s right. Joan and I have a dinner date tonight. Brad explained. “We’re making pizza.”

“Well technically Brad’s making pizza, I’m just pouring the drinks and supervising.” Joan added. That made the rest of the gang including myself, laugh. I trusted the contents of Brad’s fridge about as far as I could throw the damn fridge itself- I’ll never forget nor forgive the vegetables he tried to feed me after the Gala. Fucking kale ? But hey, if Joan liked it I loved it.

I didn’t hear from John for another few hours that day. In fact, I almost spilt the cup of water I had on my desk, all over the comic panels I was working on when I saw his call suddenly coming through.

“H-Hello!” I rushed out, still a little frazzled by the unexpected call. I fully expected to hear from him in the morning.

“Go with the green.”

It was the first thing John said to me. And the smile it garnered from me was absolutely massive. I felt my entire face flush as I scrambled for a decent way to answer that.

“Is that one your favorite?” I asked.

“Without a doubt. I know I’m late to reply though, which one did you decide on?”

I started to pop the caps back on my water pens, deciding we would call it a day since it was now closer to nine thirty at night.

“Ah, I went with the dark blue.”

“Did you like the dark blue?”

“Yeah, it’s nice.” I said honestly, thinking back to how it looked. It was the right choice- the more mature choice, and with me being John’s plus one, I really wanted to impress him. And everyone else that would be at the event. “It’s a cocktail event… so I thought it’s best I go with the more conservative option. Brad picked it out too and if I should take anyone’s opinion seriously on suits, it’s probably his right?”

There was a slight pause on the other end of the call before John continued. “Well I like you in everything. And nothing, while we’re on that topic. So I think you should wear what you feel most confident in. Your confidence is one of the your most enticing features, and I could care less what anyone else there thinks. Seriously, I haven’t seen most of these people in years.”

My hands fumbled with the markers at John’s response. It made my body grow warm all over, subsequently jumbling up my thoughts again… much like John’s words always did.

“I-I appreciate that.” My voice was uneven, but I forced myself to continue. “The blue is good though, it’s okay. Brad picked out great colors.” I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince anymore, but switching things out now when the cocktail event was this Friday evening, just didn’t make sense. That, and John didn’t need to worry about something like a suit. Herold was still recovering.

“I just want to make sure you know that.” Was all John said, making me far too aware of the efforts it took to breathe right now. “But like I said. You look good in everything. And nothing at all.”

I should’ve prepared myself better for this phone call, cause John was unaliving me from across town within the first five minutes of talking to him.

“Enough about suits. What I’d really like to know is how your day went, and how the comic book is going.”

I slid the last marker into the clear plastic case, before spreading out the loose mostly completed book pages. Tonight was a productive one and I couldn’t thank John enough for both switching topics, and sitting through my plot rambles. He was following the storyline better than I was, which was insane in his own right, and I couldn’t help but love how much he cared.

It was nice. Really, really nice.

••

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47. Promise Me

I’m backkkk

Just fyi, these last chapters will be very steamy but with also some pretty good fluff- I hope you guys enjoy!

xoxo

Warning: Explicit Content ;)

John

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I didn’t like how little I saw Derek leading up to the cocktail event. I tried to find time in between the work days but this week was hard considering I had both a new office space to find, and a fucking speech to write.

Herold made nothing easier either, even though the vet assured me he’s recovering fine and is just being difficult. Which like, was pretty on par for my cats asshole personality.

Derek was really an anomaly when it came to their relationship, I was still hung up on how fucking good he was with him. The patience he exercised with good ol Herold.

I didn’t have time to stop by Derek’s place before Friday, or vice versa, so most of our communication was phone calls. I was getting needier with him, I knew that- it’s just the whole Herold situation had shook me up, and seeing Derek again.. seeing him earlier than expected, made me want to never leave. Neither him or that ridiculous cat.

Don was a mess to deal with in his own right this week. He wasted no time switching out our name plaques for the parking spaces back in NY, to which I got a call from Carlson literally as he was switching them out, bitching to me about how this must’ve violated some workplace policy.

I told him that unless he can pinpoint to where it says that in our policy handbook, he and Don would need to duke it out on their own.

He and I both knew that Don had won it fair and square… by leveraging my relationship with Derek. If only Carlson had thought of that sooner, the parking space would’ve been his months ago.

Luckily because Don was in such a good mood with the closest spot in the underground parking garage, he actually took quite a bit of work off my plate later in the week so I could actually focus and write that speech.

The only reason I was going in the first place was Marty. The two reasons I was now going was for Marty and Derek. I wanted Derek to connect with Gillian about his comic book which meant I was definitely going. That was an opportunity I didn’t want him to pass up, unless he truly didn’t want it. I knew he wasn’t very confident with this story at the start, but after our countless conversations I could tell he was really passionate it.

I wanted him to lean into that more. To stop worrying so much and just take a chance on his talents. Everyone had to start somewhere, and Onyx was literally the best of the best.

By the time Friday rolled around, the fact that I hadn’t even gotten one physical face to face conversation in with Derek yet had pissed me right on off. So much so, it was affecting my focus.

It didn’t help that I was literally working in the same building as this man. Once lunch time came to pass, I decided that breaking Christians workplace rule just a little bit couldn’t be all that bad. Joan mentioned to Brad that Derek was going offsite for a quick bite to eat, and though Christian had a strict ‘no one steps foot outside this workplace today until the job is done’ policy with Alex, Brad, and I, he didn’t say anything about underground parking.

That was still technically the building, right?

I managed to catch up with Derek just as he made it to his drivers door. He hadn’t noticed me because of the earbuds he had plugged in, so when I spun him around quickly, the look of sheer surprise was etched into his face.

Once he did finally realize who I was, I saw those cheeks go from pale white to scarlet red in seconds. His fingers were a bit shaky when he removed the earbuds. “J-John.” He whispered. I smiled, bending down to lay yet another surprise on him, this time on his lips. He’d been gnawing away at them all week while he worked, and the sheer willpower it took me not to force him out of his office chair and into the nearest fucking closet, was that of a god.

How could something this addictive be so healthy?

Well the way Derek kissed me back silenced every single thought. He dropped his book bag on the concrete again like he’d done last time we were in this parking garage, but this time there was no interruption from that man child and his megaphone when I pushed Derek back against his car.

It was actually Derek himself who broke the kiss. “I-I-” He was beyond words flustered, more than usual, and in that moment I’ve never wanted to know what someone was thinking more. I wondered if he replayed last weekend in his head on repeat like I did this week. I wondered just how pent up he was, and whether he was doing something to… resolve it.

“Whatchya thinking about?” I asked him, hoping he would lean towards his usual honesty. With Derek, I loved how much he valued honesty. Filtered or unfiltered, I didn’t care because he felt safe to be as open with me as he could.

“…I- um- I- uh, well… you .” Derek struggled through. “It’s just- I-it’s been a while, a-and I’ve got a meeting after lunch- I c-can’t be-” he slowed to a stop, before I saw his hands gesture below his belt, and sure enough, his bulge was perfectly evident through those work pants. I hadn’t even noticed how much tighter this pair was from his usual sets till now.

“ Oh .“ I couldn’t stop my voice from getting rougher. I seriously contemplated leaving with him now, but Christian would put out an APB on me immediately. It was going to be the weekend after today and that madman was hell bent on building Rome in one day right now.

The Ivanov’s work ethic was sickening.

“Did you not…” I started, pressing a leg between Derek now who looked like he could cum from this alone. “Did you not touch yourself?”

I didn’t think it was possible for Derek’s face to get this red, but lo and behold he was giving a stop sign a run for it’s money right now.

“I-I-I… I-I’m n-not- I c-can’t answer t-that-” Derek stumbled through clumsily, finally breaking eye contact with me. My leg shifted again, rubbing against his hard cock through this dangerously thin pants material. I felt quite literally all of him through it.

“Why don’t you?” I asked softly, drawing a bit nearer to those lips and forcing his eyes back up at mine. My heartbeat was starting to quicken now, watching Derek’s breathing getting heavier. His eye lids fluttered shut for just a moment before those beautiful irises found mine again.

“I-well- see, I love porn as much as the next person- wait fuck, I mean no- fuck, scratch that.” That was one interesting start , I thought to myself.  “O-Okay so up until recently I was fairly certain of what I was into. But now, I-well, I-I don’t know- I’m not- like I’m not sure what to watch.”

Those particular words sounded like one legitimate struggle to get out for Derek, so I forced myself to wait patiently for him to finish. His words didn’t help neither my heart rate or my thoughts right now, and I couldn’t even formulate what question to ask him next. My leg shifted again and this time Derek gripped the front of my suit jacket in response.

He was so sensitive. God , I fucking loved seeing him like this. And though I wanted for nothing more than to tease him, I knew Christian would be on the hunt for me soon. That fucking vulture.

So I reluctantly pulled away from Derek. “Go home for lunch. And call me.”

Derek’s face went from that pleasure to confusion quick with the loss of contact and my strange request.

“Hmm?” He more or less hummed. Some of that redness scattered all over his face was subsiding some now, especially when my leg was no longer pressing up against his hard on.

“Go home for your lunch and give me a call. I think I have just the solution to your predicament.”

That just made Derek’s face further contort into confusion, but he nodded, agreeing to do as he was told. As a thank you for that obedience, I bent down to capture his lips with mine one last time. “ Go .“ I whispered, before finally pulling away completely.

Then I got my phone out and made a phone call.

“What do you mean you’ve got to take this?” Christian snapped as I quickly picked up the ringing phone.

“One sec,” I told Derek over the line, before making my way out of Christian’s office. “I won’t be long!” I called out over my shoulder, to which I heard Christian groan irritatingly but I ignored him. If he was going to kidnap me for the day, he could at least allow me a phone break.  Even prisoners got that.

This phone break just so happened to take place in the same janitors closet on the fifth floor, where Derek and I shared our second kiss.

The look in his eyes when he tried to tell me I hadn’t hurt him… but really, the opposite of that. Yeah that just about did me in. Now we were going to have yet another conversation in this closet, and it was oddly somehow poetic. I made sure to fucking secure the door this time, placing a chair up against the handle to keep it closed.

Christian would skin me alive if he knew I was using my phone break for this, but I couldn’t really care less anymore.

“Sorry, I had to go somewhere more private.” I explained into the line was I got situated against some of the storage shelves.

“I-It’s okay.” Derek was all nervous, which he followed up with “I also got the food you ordered- y-you didn’t hav- that- that’s really sweet.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “What I want to do is going to take up a bit of your lunch break. And trust me, you’ll want food readily available after.”

I heard Derek’s breathing hitch a bit. “W-What’s that?”

My smile only widened. I’m sure Derek had an inkling by now.

“Go into your bedroom, strip to nothing, and lay down.”

“J-John that’s not- it’s really not nec-” he started, but my words cut him off.

“ Don’t make me ask twice, baby. “

“I-I-” I could already hear how flustered he clearly was, but a very small “okay” followed shortly after and it turned this smile into a toothy grin. There was some rustling on his end for a minute or two, before I heard him speak into the line again. “O-Okay. I’m um, I’m laying down.”

“Good. I just have one question: what is it right now that turns you on, Derek? What makes you want to touch yourself when you think about it.

I just know his face was bright crimson now. What I would’ve done to see him sprawled out like that, fully naked. I wondered if the marks I left had faded any from last weekend.

“W-Well right now… you .” Derek whispered that last part quietly but I caught it with ease. It made my stomach and heart feel things I had no business feeling in this damn janitors closet.

“ Good .“ I whispered far more hoarsely than intended. “Do you miss me?… The way I touch you? “ Derek tried to muffle a soft moan at that, and I damn near unzipped my own fucking pants. It was the sheer thought of where we were that was holding me back. “ The way you feel with my fingers inside you .”

Derek’s breathing was getting harder now. I could tell he was trying to be about as quiet as humanly possible over the phone, but he couldn’t mask every moan. And I had my volume set on the highest fucking setting to hear absolutely everything. I felt my dick leaking with need, which made me grateful we’d gone with an all black suit today.

“ Answer me. “ I spoke roughly into the line, causing Derek to let out one unexpected moan.

“J-John-” he started, struggling for even that to come out as anything else but a moan. “I- Y-Yes .”

My head tilted back against the storage shelves. I wanted to touch myself so badly, but Christian would literally beat the bricks off of me.

And if Don found out, they might just tag team the assault.

“ Good, baby .“ I whispered lowly to this handsome man. “The thought of your cock inside my mouth… that look on your face when you can’t look away from me. Do you remember that?”

Derek was starting to unravel. Whatever resolve he was holding onto maybe out of initial embarrassment, fell apart completely. “J-John- fuck

• you just- I’m
• I’m close-“ his voice was strained, which told me he was on the brink of his climax.

“I can’t wait to feel your walls closing in around me when you cum.” I whispered that last part without thinking, but it did it for Derek. I heard his once repressed groans fall effortlessly past his lips as he came. Hard . And god almighty did I wish I could just fucking teleport there. I wanted to see him spent, just like this.

“ Fuck,“ my voice was raw as I whispered into the line . This man turned me on in ways that shouldn’t be possible. “Promise me something.” I said a bit suddenly to him.

The line was silent for a moment, with all you could hear was Derek’s breathing. I could tell he was trying to compose himself again, but man did I love this unfiltered, downright horny version.

“Yes?” He whispered back to me. His voice was raspy, making me contemplate whether to just get up and leave. What was the worst Christian could do?

Actually scratch that, the whole Ivanov family gave ‘we buried bodies’ vibes. Especially Slav, and with the whole COO title change and Russia, I was doing all I could to keep him happy.

“Promise me,” I started, readjusting my massive bulge in my own pants. “That if you ever need release like this again, you’ll call me immediately.”

“J-John…” Derek practically whined in protest.

“ Promise .“ I reiterated.

“I-” Derek started before stopping himself. “O-Okay.”

“Good. Now go eat your Italian food, and get back here before Christian suspects a thing.”

I know that embarrassment was hitting this man at full force right now, but that was something he’d need to get over cause we were definitely doing this again. I understood sexuality was a hard thing to navigate, especially when discovering it, so if Derek needed me as the one thing he found release from when he didn’t know what to even look for, I quite literally could not think of any better way to spend any bit of my fucking time. Like literally.

In fact, just the thought that I was the only thing for him right now, the only thing that could make him feel good like that, made my body bloody hot all over.

And I was worried of the choices my heart could make… cause this man literally had it.

••

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48. Perfect Match, Huh?

Second upload today cause I love y’all <3

Derek

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I swear I could never face John again after that phone call.

And yet, with each bite of the delicious linguini that he ordered to my home, I found myself forgiving him.

Or rather, forgiving the literal embarrassment that was me admitting to my new boyfriend that I was having a weird relationship with porn.

There are very few things that could induce such crippling embarrassment in me and I was almost positive that this had to be one of them… but John’s words made me beg to differ.

He had helped, which maybe he should’ve done anyways because he was technically part of the problem here.

My dick was all fine and dandy before Mr. Terry happened.

The issue was, I’d fallen for him specifically, not necessarily men in general. I still thought a whole good lot of them sucked fucking ass—John was just literally an anomaly. Sure straight porn was okay, but it didn’t make me feel how John made me feel. And gay porn was alright, but that didn’t do for me what he did.

So really, if we should blame anyone here, it’s John.

But him helping with that little… problem, allowed for me to make it through the rest of the work day without feeling like I was in fucking heat the entire time. Especially after my run in with John in the underground parking lot. I wasn’t expecting that shit at all.

It also helped me feel more comfortable about tonight. Because I would be beside John. And infamous Onyx leaders. All night .

Yeah I really needed my head on straight for this one.

Silly Derek will be momentarily replaced with professional Derek because I didn’t want to embarrass John. I was his plu- date tonight after all.

A knock at my apartment door was definitely what reminded me to check the time. It was going on five in the evening and John would be here within the hour to pick me up. I told him I could pick him up, but he just straight up said no .

I can’t lie, I’d never had someone pick me up for a date before, so I decided I’d let him have this one. For some reason, my nerves were way worse now then they where when I had been on my way to my previous girlfriends. Maybe the ride or the drive was what usually called me down. I didn’t know how to argue with John though, he was just too fucking kind.

The knock on the door made me wonder if he was early. All I’d managed to do up until this point was take a shower, so I prayed that sure as hell wasn’t the case.

And it wasn’t. Instead, I was met with a pair of unfamiliar blue eyes. A pair that belonged to one of the apartments mail carriers, and he was holding a box out for me.

“Derek Holding.” He said expectantly.

“In the flesh.” I replied, my eyebrows furrowing slightly at his gift.

“Perfect, sign here.” The guy thrust a scanning pad forward, to which I signed in straight confusion. I hadn’t ordered anything, right? We

re

some parts on back order for the computer ?

“What is it?” I asked the delivery guy, but he just shoved the box into my hands, took a picture, and left me to it. “How charming,” I muttered, closing my apartment door behind me with my foot while I tried to catch sight of the label on the side of the box.

Everything was unmarked besides my shipping label on the front. There wasn’t even a return to sender address.

I couldn’t help but think it was a bomb.

And that realization brought on another— that I might have just lived a life worthy of getting a bomb sent to my home and the fact that I saw that as totally plausible, was probably not a good thing.

But then again, none of my previous partners were smart enough to do something like this. Or stupid enough to send it through the mail , I hoped. Actually who fucking knows.

Once I hesitantly got the box open, I was even more confused to see a folded large silk off-white bag. It took me completely pulling the bag out to realize what exactly it was, and when I took a look inside, I felt my heart fucking flutter. In the otherwise empty cardboard box remained a small card, and when I flipped it over, I saw the message written in familiar handwriting. I now had a small collection of cute post-it notes with that fancy handwriting.

Wear the one you want to. Not the one you’re expected to.

I’ll see you soon, love.

xx

I probably stared at that card in my hand for at least half an hour. Well at least that’s what it felt like.

I just couldn’t believe it. John was just-

The suit fit perfectly. I didn’t know how this man got my measurements, but then again this was John. He probably had the connections to get it from anywhere including Magasin De Costume. I felt the smile on my face only grow when I got a glimpse of the beautiful light green color.

I was a bit ashamed about leaving Brad’s stellar choice discarded like rubbish on my bed, but I told myself that we’d just let Brad keep thinking his suit won out.

He deserved that bit of happiness.

My giddy bubbly feeling faltered slightly when I now realized I owed John for two expensive ass suits. I know he absolutely wouldn’t see it that way, but I sure did. I didn’t want him spending so much on me. I loved all the qualities about John that didn’t require the money, and I wanted him to know that.

But for tonight, I’d just let him win with this one. I wasn’t even sure how he found the exact suit from the picture I sent so this… this meant way more than just money.

And the smile it put on my face was something money couldn’t buy. It was from the heart melting thought John managed to always put into everything.

John was good to send an ‘on the way’ text before he came. I was just stupid enough to not charge my phone beforehand so it was sitting in my bedroom, unattended and on the charger by the time I heard another knock on my door.

At first I couldn’t tell why I was so nervous, but then I remembered this was John we were talking about. It only took a look from him to evaporate what little brain cells I was still working with.

Once that door was swung open, the smile that spread across my lips at John damn near hurt my cheeks. Holy fucking fuck, I thought.

He was in a crisp champagne colored suit, with jet black pants and an all black inside button down shirt. He wasn’t wearing a tie, instead opting for a few undone buttons that led to his exposed collarbone and upper chest.

His hair? Gelled just picture perfectly, there was no other way to explain it. The champagne and black fixed with his green eyes had me practically frozen in place. When his lips tugged up into that gorgeous easy going smile, showing his deep smile lines and dimples, I forgot I hadn’t even said any words yet. I was supposed to, I think.

“ Holy shit .“ John whispered. “The sales clerk was right.”

My eyebrows creased at that one. Definitely not what I thought our first words would be.

“What do you mean?” I asked, forcing my feet to move so John could actually walk on inside. Of course I stumbled a bit. John slipped his shoes off before his hand went to my shoulders. I noticed his other hand was behind his back but he gently nudged me forward first towards my living room. I had a full size mirror on the wall next to my kitchen, and when we both approached, I instantly saw what John meant.

“Perfect match, huh?”

I stared back and forth between John and myself. “I- I didn’t know how close-” my face was starting to get heated. “I swear I didn’t plan it.”

“The color looks good on you.”

My eyes caught John’s light green ones, an exact match to my suit. “I mean I knew it was kinda close…” I trailed off, mumbling to myself. There was just no way I could feel this much embarrassment in one day. “The color… it- it looks good on you too.”

“And now I know you think so.” He replied, sending me a wink. John’s hidden arm slowly came around his back to reveal a bouquet of flowers. “And these are for you.” I glanced down at the lovely arrangement. “Can I trust you to keep them alive?”

My lips tugged up into one slightly ashamed smile. Clearly this face was only meant to get redder tonight, John was making sure of it. “They’ve probably got like three days tops in here if I’m being honest.”

That made John give me a hearty laugh. He had bent down some, just barely touching my right shoulder with his chin. “I’ll just have to buy you new ones more often then.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. John had started to lightly massage my left shoulder as I took the bouquet from him. It was beautiful. Seriously, this man had great taste in absolutely everything. That arm massaging my shoulder then started slowly moving its way up to the crook of my neck. Ugh, this felt heavenly . Why was this man so-

“Were you going with a tie?” He asked me, his voice a little rougher now. John was absolutely the one to blame here, especially with the way he was looking at me right now. All my focus was on him, and what exactly it was he was going to do.

I slowly nodded. “I was just about to look for one.”

“ Go without it tonight .“ He murmured against my ear now. There was no control over how I reacted to that. I watched with anticipation as both his hands moved to the top buttons of my shirt, and started to undo them.

“John-” I tried to start.

“Just a few buttons.” John explained quietly. “Just a little skin. Plus, no tie means one less thing for me to take off you later.”

Was I really actually going to make it through this dinner? Were we ?

John’s hand slipping past the opening to my bare chest almost made me drop the flowers. John whispered near my ear again, causing my whole body to shiver. I was trying so hard to be strong, but when his fingers brushed against one of my nipples, I felt my nails digging into the stems of the flowers. “How are you feeling?” He whispered against me. “ Is there something I can take care of? “

I almost stumbled back into John, which cause me to overcorrect and slip just out of his grasp. I turned to face this culprit, facing away from the mirror and refusing to accept how red my face had gotten in such a short amount of time.

“We- we should definitely go. I don’t want you to be late.” Words. Yes, Derek. Good stuff.

“I believe there’s such a thing as fashionably late.” He offered.

I laughed. “You’ve got a big speech, my love. Remember?”

John’s eyes darkened some, looking at me again the way he was in that mirror. His hand was faster than I could process, and before I knew it, I was being yanked into him by my suit jacket. He didn’t hesitate to pull me in for one quick, surprisingly sweet kiss. He let go moments later, making sure not to ruin the fabric of the suit with his strong grip.

“Call me that again and I’m dragging you off to your bedroom. I mean that with my entire heart.”

“I-” I stopped myself short. John looked one hundred percent serious right now. “There’s always after the cocktail party.”

John’s lips curled up into a smile so mischievous at my words, I took a few extra steps back for good measure. He had a reach on him apparently.

But instead of advancing me again, John nodded. “Will you promise to come back to mine after? Herold would probably love to see someone other than me. As you can imagine, I haven’t brought anyone around after the issue with the Ivanov’s.”

I slowly nodded.

“Beautiful. I also have some items I bought that I’d like to break in with you.”

I knew this man just had to slip something like that in. Regardless, I slowly nodded again, watching his smile widen. Just irritatingly beautiful now , I fucking swear.

“Look at you, making me want to actually make it to this event now. You’re the best motivation.”

Goddamn it. Why was his smile so contagious? Why did he have to be so utterly irresistible? And how was I making it through this cocktail party at this disastrous rate?

John

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We weren’t making it through this cocktail party at this rate.

I knew that as soon as that door swung open, and I got a look at Derek. I realized in that moment that the only eyes I wanted on him tonight were mine. His suit was like looking into the mirror every morning, and that had made me almost lose it. The clerk mentioned it but boy did she underplay how spot on Derek was.

He was the one trying to keep us on track now but jesus

• him with those few buttons undone. His hazel green tinted eyes, mixing so ridiculously well with those dark curls. He had combed his hair for the occasion, which made every feeling a felt just dial it up a notch.

I couldn’t stop myself from touching his delicate skin once I undid those buttons.

And seeing us together in that mirror… it made me realize just how good our holiday photos would be. Was Derek into that stuff?

Maybe.

I’m sure he’d make it as chaotic as possible. And I, for one, couldn’t wait.

I caught just one more glimpse of Derek before we entered the estate. He had turned to me, mouth agape at the castle-like home as he asked “is this really someone’s house?”

“Technically, yes. It’s been rented for tonight’s event however so I recommend we try not to touch anything.” I gave Derek’s hand a light squeeze as it rested comfortably in mine, before I led him up the steps to the large double doors.

As much as I’d trust Derek with my life, there was no way I was letting him out of my sight. Too many breakable things. And plus, why would I want to with him looking this good tonight.

••

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49. Are You Having Fun?

3300 words on this one and maybe a double upload later!

Y’all are getting fed today, fr

xoxo

John

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Derek surprised me tonight.

And like yes, I’m well aware that he had a tendency to do that a lot. But this was different.

In fact, it was kinda reminded me of our time in Hawaii together, when he was chatting it up with the other contestants after his big win.

At the time I thought that he was definitely just really comfortable with them, especially after I found out about how into the food competition world the man really was… but tonight, he didn’t know a single soul here besides myself and Marty, and yet he moved through each room of conversation with me by his side and a drink in hand like it was nothing.

There was some first issue set to release for a debut dystopian graphic novel that Onyx was launching in the coming months, and once Derek steered the conversation with some other large investors in that more engaging direction, I physically saw each dull investors face light up- welcoming a topic that wasn’t about money or stocks for once.

He had this gorgeous goofy smile plastered on his face as we moved through each group of people, most approaching us because they had just heard praises about Derek with the last group they chatted with. This beautiful man was stealing the hearts of these otherwise money hungry conference goers right before both their, and my very eyes. Whenever he took a moment to look my way, my heart did an almost lethal thing.

Like trying to burst from my chest cavity.

Everytime I thought I couldn’t fall more madly in love with him… Here this man was, challenging the hell out of that.

“Are you having fun?” I asked him, pulling us away from the last group for our first moment of actual privacy in here. The main halls of the castle were starting to clear out as guests made their way to the dining room. It was really more of a ballroom considering those who could attend, put our numbers tonight at easily close to fifty guests.

I wanted to check in with him quick before we got whisked away there too… because what came next was my speech, and hell— even I was honestly a bit nervous. As it turns out there was only one person I could think of who seemed to manage to calm me down with just his goofy smile.

“Are you kidding? I don’t think I’ve had this much fun at an event since the hot dog eating competition!” Derek’s face was beaming, smile stretching ear to ear.

Yeah. Fuck . He really just did it for me.

“I didn’t think there would be this many people! Shame on you for not telling me. Of course I was a bit nervous at first with everyone coming up to us, but I’ve got you and Marty here. And you were right-… wearing something you feel confident in helps.”

What time was this cocktail party over? I wondered.

And how soon would be soon too to leave, like right after my speech, or…

“Are you having fun?” He asked, turning to me completely as he took a sip from his champagne flute.

I grinned, unable to mask my feelings anymore. “You amaze me, you know that right?”

Derek’s bold persona was quickly overmasked by his face getting flushed. “J-Judging by everything I heard tonight by everyone here, you’re the amazing one. I didn’t- well, I didn’t know how much philanthropy work you were actually involved in.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, “Regardless of how much I like to do it through anonymity, Pierre likes his work to be known. Which means he thrust my own in a lot of spotlights- hence this stupid speech.”

I might not believe in the lord, but they were onto something when the Bible said your left hand shouldn’t know what your right hand gives.

“I don’t think it’s stupid.” Derek told me with every ounce of seriousness this fairly unserious man could muster… which was surprisingly a lot. “I don’t think it’s stupid at all. I think you’ve done a lot that you should be recognized for, besides just cutting a check. A lot that- well a lot that I would like to recognize you for.”

That already made my stupid smile grow even more.

“You can ask me anything. I’d like to think I’m an open book.” I told this man that had me checking the watch on my wrist every few minutes. I wanted him to myself. Now .

“More like a reserved one in high demand at a library. I’m just next on that long waiting list.”

That analogy was a little too spot on, but something made my smile falter.

“Don’t worry,” Derek added, speaking this last part a little lower even though we were the last two in this massive main hall now. “I already have my ‘I lost it’

story ready for the librarian. I’ve got no plans on returning you.“

“ Good .“ I spoke low, trying my best to shove the rest of this giddyness down. I was about to get up on stage and deliver a speech, I could not go up with a look like this one on my face. “A pity to all the other eager readers, then.” I added.

“They’ll live.” he sent me wink, which shot straight through me.

“W-We-” my words were knocked offbalanced for maybe the first time tonight. “We- uh- we should get going then. I’ve got my man to impress, don’t I?”

“Everyone else has already done that for you.” Derek reminded me. “You just have your man to make proud. Go accept praise for the things you’ve done, John Terry. Everyone in there including myself is trying to give you some damn flowers of your own.”

“I suppose it would be rude to refuse such a kind gesture.” I replied, reaching out to take Derek’s hand in mine.

The only person I was incapable of refusing in this entire place tonight, was Derek.

He was a hands talker, and already had a drink in his free hand, so the best I could do as we moved around chatting with everyone that approached us tonight, was a hand on his lower back. It felt right, his warm one finally slipping into my cooler one as I led him towards the main ballroom. He kept that hand in mine, even when we crossed the very full, very nosy ballroom to take our place at the first row of tables.

The layout was actually quite similar to the Ivanov Gala, however the guests in attendance for that shindig was far more than this one. Considering the Gala was a company wide event open to all in office employees, that checked out.

Derek didn’t seem nervous as he took a seat beside me, but I gave that hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze anyway.

Obviously everyone here knew I was gay since Pierre was my previous partner for years— speaking of which , that idiot was now late as all hell tonight, but I didn’t care. If he decided not to show up at all, maybe I’d pass by the church next sunday. Cause then there must be a fucking god.

But the thing was, Derek hadn’t really told many people. Holding my hand at a farmers market was just a bit different than tonight. Or was it? Should it have been? Besides the difference in money the people had, I saw no difference in caring for the opinions of others here, or there. But then again that was how I felt- I wasn’t sure how Derek felt.

He agreed to be my date tonight though so there was a part of him that was ready, right? I noticed it when his hand didn’t leave mine, even as we sat. He just pulled mine into his lap.

The man to take the stage tonight (just a slightly raised platform at the front of the gorgeous ballroom) was one I definitely recognized. It was none other than Olaf Ahlstrom, the CEO of Onyx. Derek recognized him too judging by his bulging eye sockets that stared on in literal admiration.

Olaf hadn’t joined in on the mingling before we gathered in this room, so Derek hadn’t gotten to meet him yet.

Gillian let me know in passing once we arrived, that he was held up in an important conference, which I understood considering it was still a Friday- aka a work day for all us folks. Christian barely released us in time for me to make it to Derek’s by six, which made Derek’s reaction to my look tonight just all the better.

It was rushed. And I had flowers to buy on the way to him.

I also spent the better half of my afternoon on the phone with Magasin De Costume confirming the delivery of Derek’s suit would be on time. That was such a hassle, I had to call on Brad so his weight at that store could get the ball moving, and it took him physically pulling up to the store after Christian let us loose, to assure the delivery along with my little note for Derek.

I told Brad I owed him one.

Then he reminded me of the back stairwell incident and I immediately took that IOU back.

He was right, we were more than fucking even now.

“Well my god, look at the turn out!” Olaf boasted to the room. He was an odd guy, eccentric I guess you could say, but I liked him. That, and he knew how to play this game too well. His predictions for what was the next best thing, was why I put some much faith in him with my money.

We listened on intently as Olaf said praises for all in attendance tonight. Pierre’s seat at our assigned larger table was still empty, and lord was I praying it stayed that way. Right now having Gillian and Marty sitting right across from us felt too comfortable to have it ruined by that asshat.

Olaf kept his introductions brief, which probably suprised everyone. The guy liked to ramble, but something told me today had already been a long one for him.

He had that look in his eyes that said this was a marathon, and pacing himself was crucial.

But this just meant that it was my time to shine. Before I knew it, the words John Terry slipped past his lips into that microphone and I guess that was my cue.

“Knock ’em dead.” Derek whispered to me. I brought our interlocked hands up to my lips, giving the back of his a gentle kiss before finally letting go.

The look on Derek’s face to that, made my walk up to face the folks I’ve been avoiding, much easier.

The look on Olaf’s face as I approached him, was a direct threat.

“We’ll talk about your disappearing acts later. For now, you better have something written.” He spoke that away from the microphone and for my ears only.

“Don’t think so lowly of me.” I replied, flashing him the notecards I had stashed in the inner pocket of my suit jacket.

Relief flashed across his face as he handed me the microphone. I swear I heard him mutter “So there is a god.” on his way to his seat, but I could be wrong.

He took the seat Pierre was meant to sit in at our table. which made me grin. Derek looked like someone had just offered to pay off all his debt when that man sat down next to him, which I was learning as our relationship progressed that he and I were going to have to have a conversation about.

That, and his healthcare. He still didn’t have any.

“Well jeez, I’d say this was all a bit unexpected, but then my good friend Marty over there would probably leap over all these tables to put his hands on me.” I glanced down at the cards again before looking back out to my audience. “I’m not much for this kinda stuff. I was raised on the principle that if someone needed help, and I was in the position to, I would. Olaf approached me with his talks of expanding, and for a man as intelligent as that one, I don’t think I need to explain to this room how assured I was with that conversation.

“I’m hearing most call my contribution tonight one massive gift, but god I hope you don’t see it that way too Laffi.”

That made Olaf outwardly laugh, filling the room with his contagious presence. Laffi was a nickname Olaf probably hadn’t heard since we last spoke, and god knows how long ago that was.

“Cause I’m banking on a return at some point.” I added.

I could hear laughter from the rest of the room at my comment, but this grin Olaf gave me was what made me smile. I was working hard to ease the tension in a room that was always more or less about money.

“Olaf- you’ve built something here with people with like minds. Sorry I haven’t been around much to get that understanding in depth, but tonight made me realize it.” My gaze shifted slightly from Olaf to Derek. “I’ve started seeing this particularly great guy who’s passion for this stuff rivals my own. He’s made me realize tonight that any interaction is what you make it, and in the past I surrounded myself with people who made it about money. This was why I preferred to keep my investments private.

“Now, having had an entire evening of genuine passionate conversation about comics and just creative content in general, I realize I get a choice in what I value, and how I value it.”

Derek’s gaze was glued on mine like a magnet. His face was almost beet red, but the shy smile his lips tugged up into let me that part was okay. Mentioning him was okay.

“Olaf always told me during his startup days that we put our money where the stories are. The good ones anyways.” Olaf laughed loudly again at that, probably remembering the times we had those conversations. “Well you’re writing a pretty extraordinary one right now my friend, with all that you’ve done… and for that, you’ve got both my vote and my dinero.”

My eyes found Olaf’s again, and I could feel the warmth from that crazy old man.

“Just don’t ask me to give another speech ever the fuck again.”

The room erupted in laughter. Little did they know I was one thousand percent serious with that.

And that was about it. My hands trembled slightly as I made it back to our table and conversation began to flow amidst guests once more, but Olaf pulled me in for a tight hug before I could even reach Derek.

“Had I known you’d speak so highly of me like that, I would’ve had you introduce me .”

“Yeah and I promise you, I definitely would’ve preferred that.” I replied with a grin matching his own.

Derek looked over at us, overjoyed just to be here. Yeah , I thought to myself. Maybe that wasn’t so bad. Wasn’t

so

stupid, per say.

“We’ll keep that in mind for next time.” Gillian added, but he also gave me a hug before I sat back down next to Derek.

“You should take those comedy stand-up talents on the road” I turned to Gillian, giving him a look to which he just smiled at. Then I reached under the table to find Derek’s hand again. “Cause there will be no other speech.”

Gillian’s hands flung up in the air next, signaling defeat. “Hey listen all I’m saying is, from the look on Derek’s face- especially when you said all those things up there about him, he might not mind hearing another speech come next year. He’s definitely invited back.”

My eyebrows narrowed at Gillian’s comment. “You’re taking points from Don. Don’t do that.”

“Well the great John Terry didn’t have any weaknesses till now.” Gillian countered.

“ I gave that man one fucking parking spot… “I grumbled more to myself. Gillian was surprisingly pretty chummy with Don, granted both our businesses had supported each other a lot over the years. He had to have mentioned just how much of a sucker I’d become for Derek.

“I wouldn’t call it a weakness,” Olaf replied, turning to speak to me as he kept his eyes on Derek. “More of a soft spot, am I right?”

“Not soft enough to stress myself over writing another one of those things.” I grumbled back, gesturing to the front of the room while blatantly lying. “Just let me pay you in peace. Think of it like the opposite of hush money— I’m trying to pay you so I don’t have to speak.”

That got a hearty laugh out of Derek, who looked like he was trying to muffle it with his free hand moments later. I gave his occupied one another gentle squeeze, unable to mask my own smile.

“Well, I know we haven’t met officially yet Derek, but the murmurs these rich folk like to do in a setting such as this, has made you sound promising.” Olaf smiled big at Derek, to which he returned. My smile grew cause Derek had no idea what Olaf meant by that yet, but he would soon.

I wondered if Derek’s cheeks hurt by now. The smiles he greeted everyone with tonight were so big and genuine, he couldn’t possibly have had more in his reserve, and yet here we were. Here he was.

“Far more engaging than whatever the other guys name was. Fuck, what was it…”

“Pierre.” A voice spoke from somewhere to my right, yet slightly behind us. A voice all too familiar.

We all turned to the side we so clearly neglected to pay any attention to before, and lo and behold, in the flesh- flesh that really needed some moisturizing, was non other than Pierre.

He looked good, I’ll give him that. It wasn’t that Pierre wasn’t outwardly unattractive, it was the ugly heart that turned most, including myself, off. He chose a black suit which looked about as generic as any black suit would, but his hair was styled nicely. He actually tried with that.

Considering he was this fucking late though, I was far from impressed.

“Pierre.” Olaf nodded to him, like Pierre hadn’t just overheard Olaf talking shit.

“Olaf.” Pierre forced a small smile. He took a few more steps towards our table, reading each name card propped on the stacked royal plates that coincided with a chair as he went.

When he got to Olaf’s seat, well technically his seat, all Olaf did was look at him.

That was the thing about Olaf, he was pretty much always smiling. Like I couldn’t say there was a second that went by when he wasn’t.

But that also added to the deranged more sharp aspects of his personality, and the smile he was giving Pierre honestly just challenged him to say something. Anything.

While Pierre had a shit personality, and even more shit temper, Olaf wasn’t the same man that needed a loan all those years ago. Pierre was the guest at this seat now, not the once money hungry mogul he was when we used to come to these things. Olaf had built a damn empire with what we donated- really, what I donated and Pierre just put his name on.

And Pierre knew it too. So he kept his smile tight. “Seating chart must be more of a guideline tonight I suppose.”

“It sure is.” Olaf replied, his arms folding across his chest with that almost sinister smile. “Much like this event’s start time… I suppose .”

••

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50. Understood?

Second upload and 3400 words, ya girls on a roll

(will edit these tomorrow)

Love y’all sm <3

xoxo

Warning: Explicit Content… kinda sorta, you be the judge ;)

Derek

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Present time: 3:47AM

“So I just want to say-”

“Derek.” John shot me a glance from his stance in the holding cell. He was leaning again the metal bars, his bruised knuckles tucked tight under his massive arms. He no longer had on his champagne colored jacket, just the black button up shirt and dress pants.

Was the jacket still at the event?

I looked down in disappointment at my own now wine stained suit jacket.

“Not now. Please.”

“Oh no I’d love to hear what he has to say.” Pierre grumbled from the bench in the back, but he kept his voice low. He was holding a piece of ice to the cut on his face. That’s all the guards would give him.

“Honestly, me too.” Steve nodded in agreement.

At least I think that’s what he introduced himself as.

He was sitting next to Pierre, trying to get the pissed off joke of a man to join a game of tic-tac-toe that he started with a white pebble he found somewhere, and the cement bench.

“In my defense-”

“Baby,” John cut in. His eyes darkened some as he looked over at me, and I suddenly busied myself the metal shavings peeling from some of the bars.

That had got to be some sort violation for this place. But then again we were in a precinct holding cell.

“All three of you came in looking like this and none of y’all are talking? A damn shame.” Steve continued, gesturing to the game he set up for him and Pierre, but Pierre just continued ignoring him.

I would’ve played too if I wasn’t under John’s direct orders to remain quiet, stay near him, and wait for Don.

6 Hours Before Present Time…

John and I carried on with dinner through the dining hall.

I was on cloud fucking nine because the only open space Pierre could find once he arrived, was the last table near the door. This meant dinner actually went on uninterrupted.

Olaf dove in to talking about his latest ventures as we ate, and I was absolutely mesmerized. I had no idea he knew John so well either, which made me even more nervous to be at this prestige table. I also didn’t know what half the utensils on the table were for.

It was Marty who put my mind at ease some, tapping me on my shoulder and leaning in to whisper “I can eat practically anything, but I’m drawing the line at whatever the hell this is.” He pointed to a weirdly pink paste mush thing.

Instantly my face smushed up in disgust, and Marty broke out into laughter.

I grinned at that, turning to John to ask if he maybe knew, but he just leant in at my side m to whisper “I’ve got no fucking idea either.” My grin widened. Okay so maybe it wasn’t so posh after all.

By the time dinner came to a close, Olaf welcomed everyone else back out into the main hall for more conversation before the night would come to a close.

I was a bit excited for it too, because everyone here was so freaking interesting to chat with.

Seriously, for the first half of the night, I was confused on how so many different people knew about so many niche comics. I mean, they were investing in like the largest distributor, but I couldn’t figure out how people hadn’t mingled here about that stuff before.

One guy thought I was some reporter trying to get an inside scoop on some comic to game adaptation that wasn’t set to release yet. I just explained I had a few friends who were actually working on the early development, and the smile on his face was massive.

Like lord, who hurt these people?

It was kind of like speed dating but I wasn’t dating anyone here but John. Maybe like a looking for a third speed dating, except we weren’t actually looking for a third.

Anyways, I think that made sense. I was on my second champagne flute by now cause the shit tasted expensive.

Somehow during the busyness of the regathering, John and I gotten separated. I ended up on the far side of the room closer to the entrance, speaking with a older woman who had somehow managed to whisk me away. John was across the room near the bar, chatting it up with a few people I didn’t recognize.

I didn’t mind this woman’s kidnapping though, she was actually a producer working on one of Onyx’s comic to film adaptations that I surprisingly used to follow a couple years back.

I don’t think I completed it, but the way she— I believe she said her name was Sharon, was discussing the adaptation, made me want to double back like yesterday.

“I would absolutely love to hear your input! Please, just give it a few more issues and I swear more of the storyline will fall into place. It was a bit of an exposition dump wasn’t it?”

I gave her a genuine smile, loving her honesty. “Yeah it killed my engagement by issue number four, but you seem like a woman with refined taste so I’ll give it one more chance.”

“Oh, you flatter!” Her smile grew. “If only you had just a few more years in you.” She sent me a wink. “There was actually someone I wanted you to meet, that’s why I pulled you towards the entrance.”

“Oh no worries!” I replied, looking through the crowd once more to spot John. He was chatting amongst the higher ups now, while Marty must have wandered off looking for food he, and I quote ‘could actually fucking eat.’“

I can’t lie, I stayed away from most of the food tonight too. And that was saying a lot, coming from me.

John’s eyes locked with mine across the room while in mid conversation, and he gave me a smile. I smiled back, but my focus was pulled away by Sharon again.

“Oh there she is! God, come here girl— I told you this thing started at six thirty-” I watched Sharon approach a tall women who was walking through the entrance near us. She had a scarf wrapped around her long button down jacket which made it hard to see her face, but as her hands unwrapped the fabric, I got a better view.

She was pretty. A redhead, which made her hair look more fiery against the caramel jacket color.

“Now I want you to meet someone- my gosh he’s just the sweetest!” Sharon chirped, dragging the younger woman along towards me. I guess I was just meeting everyone tonight, huh?

Once my eyes connected with her dark green ones, my eyebrows furrowed slightly. They felt familiar.

“Do I kn-”

“Derek?” The woman asked me.

Then her eyes grew large in realization.

“Cynthia?” I took a stab in the dark.

“Seraia! Oh my gosh you remembered!”

No , I thought to myself. I don’t think I did.

But I wasn’t able to process that, because before I knew it I was being pulled into a hug by Ser…

Serel…

Fuck it, Cynthia.

Her bones where crushing mine, and all I could do was thank the heavens when she finally released me. I would’ve had to remember a bear hugger like that one, right?

But then she did something just as, if not, more damning than that bone crushing hug. She grabbed me by my jacket collar and full on kissed me. I was so stunned, I didn’t have enough time to back away before her lips collided with mine.

“Dear god, woman!” Sharon scolded suddenly, pulling her away from me. “I told you to say hi, not attack him!”

I was so stunned, I couldn’t move. Whoever she was, there no way I deserved whatever that was.

“Oh no mum it’s okay, we dated! Oh god, that was only a few years ago right? Ugh what a time to go back to, I was a wild ride back then.”

Ser… Seri… fuck.

“Oh god, do you remember Lahaina Beach? Oh my god, we got so wasted out by that campfire, and I remember the mosquitoes were just terrible! I think I made you go inside to get the spray cause we’re all dying, but then you took forever, and when I went to go check-…” S trailed off.

Just as memories were starting to click for her, they were starting to click for me.

Ah, fuck.

Before neither me, nor Sharon process what was happening, Seraia palm struck the left side of my cheek hard. Ah, I remembered now. I think.

“Seraia!” Sharon called, mortified as she jerked her daughter away.

“No, no-” I rushed out as my hand reached up to touch where the stinging had started. “I probably deserved that one.”

“Damn straight you did!” Seraia hissed, working to keep her voice down as a few people started to glance in our direction. I scanned the attendees, wondering if anyone had seen the last few seconds unfold, but it was the sound of a glass breaking that pulled everyone’s attention in the opposite direction of us.

John Terry, standing across the room, was now holding a shattered wine flute in his hand.

And his eyes were one hundred percent directly on me.

Fucking fuckity fuck . I felt one cold shiver run down my spine as I turned back to Cynt- shit, Seraia.

“Listen-shit. I’m sorry for whatever I did-”

“You don’t remember?” She seethed, her face growing redder with every poor choice of words I made.

“As you mentioned, we were drunk-” I continued to rush out. “And I have made some awfully terrible decisions over the years, but tonight I’m here with my boyfriend so if we could please, please table this conversation for literally any other fucking time, I promise I will grovel at your feet with apologies until I die.”

“Oh yeah no I should’ve known you’d hav-… you- wait- you… did you say…”

I almost rolled my eyes at Cy-Seraia, before I cast that gaze tentatively back to John. He was now walking through the crowd towards me, a towel in the hand that once held the champagne flute, and the champagne colored blazer nowhere to be seen. The look in his eyes…

Fuck.

“You have a boyfriend?” It was as if all the anger suddenly vanished from her face when I glanced back at her, but that didn’t do me a lick of good.

“Y-Yeah” I spoke, watching John clear that insane distance with long quick strides. The look in his eyes were. I- well, I didn’t know how to explain it. “Him.”

I pointed helplessly to the man that looked like he wanted to kill everything and everyone in this room. John reached me easily, grabbing that hand extended to him with his free one, and yanking me forward a bit, separating Sharon, her daughter, and myself, with his body. I felt myself stumble, but before he could pull me any further, he stopped suddenly to turn to Seraia.

“J-John Terry- he-… h-he’s your-” S started, staring at John. Let’s just call her S.

“You.” He whispered so coldly to her, I couldn’t register that voice came from John or not. I couldn’t see his face to confirm. Her face had started to pale when he placed his wrapped hand briefly on her shoulder. “Stay. Right. Here.”

And those were the last words uttered to anyone in that room, including myself, before John dragged me quietly down the nearest corridor.

Four Hours Before Present Time

The room he chose to throw us in, was a study. I think. The home itself was very old, so the lighting wasn’t the greatest throughout, and it didn’t look like John was going to bother with finding a light switch. All we had was the moonlight shining in through the large windows, letting me know it was getting later. Once I heard him lock the door behind him, my already hammering heartbeat just took it up a notch.

He leant against the locked door, allowing me to back up some till I felt my ass touch the ledge of a desk.

Okay, Derek, think. How the hell do we get-

“Who is she?” John asked, wasting not a lick of time as he used the towel to dab the rest of the champagne off his shirt sleeve. A bit of relief washed over me when I realized he hadn’t cut himself with the glass. Then worry washed over me when I realized he broke that glass in his goddamn hand.

“I-” I started. His gaze was cutting into me but I forced myself not to look away. I knew he wouldn’t want me to, but god just the moonlight shining on him right now was making me both scorching hot and ice cold all at the same time.

How the hell was I going to explain this one? Without John killing me, breaking up with me, or both.

“I- I think we dated, but I swear it was a long time ago!” I rushed out in a frazzled complete mess.

“You think?” He asked me.

If this was what feeling your heart drop felt like, lord was it devastating. “Yeah… that’s why the reaction was so-…” I wasn’t even sure what to say next.

Apparently neither did John because we stood there, staring at each other for a few moments.

I watched as John pushed himself away from the door finally. He neatly folded up the towel and placed it in his pant pocket, before he took a step towards me.

“How long ago was it?”

My hands reached behind to grip the ledge of the desk for support. Jesus, at this rate my heart was going to quit on me.

“I-It was- I’d say like- I think two or three years ago?” I offered. Please don’t ask her na-

“Who is she?”

…

Fuck!

“Ser-.. Seri.. Seria?”

“You don’t remember?” John asked, taking yet another step forward. The way he was looking at me- only me. I felt my palms go sweaty above the laminated wood, which only weakened my grip on it.

“I-” I stopped myself again, before letting out a shaky breath. “No. T-That’s why I deserved that- the slap.”

It was just a fraction of an inch, but I watched as John’s eyes softened some. He took another step, and this time I wished I chose the farthest wall from him, to lean against or something. Not the desk in the middle of the fucking room.

As the moonlight revealed more of him, I could see his lip tug up into just the slightest bit of a smile. Then he took a few more steps, and my heart told me we’d need a pacer awfully soon.

For a man who I’m positive knew I didn’t have healthcare, he really liked to test my limits.

He was close enough to reach out and touch now, but I didn’t dare. I kept my hands at my sides, gripping that wood edge for dear life. John took one more step forward, but this time he nudged my legs open with his so he could step between them.

My body was literally already on fire and he’d barely even touched me. And I couldn’t tell what the hell this man was thinking anymore, what he was going to do. That when when his right hand tipped my face up further to look at him.

I knew he saw my heartbeat when he glanced past his hand to my exposed chest, there was no possible way he couldn’t have. And that just made it beat all the harder.

He examined my face a moment, gently grazing over some of the area Sharon’s daughter slapped me. It didn’t hurt anymore, yet somehow his touch made it more sensitive. The he gently brought those same fingers down to my lips, trailing the two areas Sharon’s daughter had touched in the matter of seconds.

I felt my skin crawl at the thought of it. I didn’t like getting touched like that without my permission. Maybe I once did, but I didn’t anymore. 

The way John touched me was making me quickly forget she ever had.

I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead, he dipped his head down beside mine, brushing his lips against my ear. I immediately shuddered, but forced myself not to move. Not to touch him.

“ Derek ?“ John whispered against me, his voice sending every possible shock wave to every part of my body, including the part I was currently trying my best not to think about. It was deep, but coy. How could my name- fuck that, any name , sound that seductive?

“Y-Yes?” I practically croaked out. He smelt so fucking good.

When his teeth grazed my earlobe, my hand slipped a bit, but John used his hand to pin it back to the table. Well, I had no means of escape now, not like I had much of one before.

And his next choice of words made me wonder whether I ever wanted to.

“ You’re mine ,“ he murmured, his tongue licking gently at the spot he grazed. “ And I. Don’t. Share. “ I felt his teeth nip at my lobe and now I was literally chanting in my head to keep myself upright. My arms felt like they were buckling. “ Understood? “

When that tongue slid back out to trail the outer edge of my ear, I let out a stifled moan, one I was trying so freaking hard to mask but couldn’t. I was absolutely at John’s mercy now, and all I could do was nod.

“This,” he continued, his fingers softly caressing my cheek again, then over the area that once stung,.“ no one touches but me. “ His fingers were so delicate over the skin, I couldn’t help but lean into them. That coupled with those fucking words. His fucking words.

His teeth grazed my earlobe once more and I swear I almost whimpered.

“This,” I felt those same fingers move to my lips, before gliding across them. “ No one touches but me .“ He finally pulled away from my ear slightly, but then his lips lowered themselves to the spot between my jawline and neck, and I also fell back on the table.

He started with kisses, but my body was already so sensitive they might as well been love bites. J-Joh-“ I did my best to get out, but his words again my skin cut me off.

“ Understood? “

I did my best to nod my head between my now more labored breathing. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take, but leave it to John to push my limits.

“And this,” he whispered, his hand moving from mine to unexpectedly palm my now rock hard cock through my pants. That feeling was so visceral, both my hands shot up from the table to grab John’s dress shirt. I felt a whimper escape me then, unable to mask how incredible my body felt to his touch. His voice. His scent .

John moved quickly, using one arm to wrap around my waist and hold me upright towards him, while his other continued palming me.

I had buried my face into his chest, embarrassed by what other sounds I might make, but I heard John whisper “ look at me “ before he slowed his touch.

It was my mistake in the first place to look.

Who knew the moons reflection mixed in with John’s light green eyes would be the last thing I wanted to see if my heart actually did fully give out right now.

“ No one touches but me .“

Another jolt of please was sent through me and my whole body felt that shit straight to my core. My breathing stopped completely for a moment, with the grip on his shirt only tightening. I knew I was ruining it but I couldn’t let go.

“ Understood? “ He murmured low to me, those eyes filled with pure lust as they bore into my own.

I slowly nodded, completely at a loss for words before he brought his lips down to mine.

And I wouldn’t be an honest man if I said I didn’t welcome them.

••

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51. I Take This Date Instead Of Plus One Title Very Seriously

Mayyybee another upload today but we’ll see! I decided I’d extend the story juuuust a smidge (like an extra chapter or two lol) so y’all get the fluff I know you want.

I think we’re looking at give or take, five more chapters

I do have something else in the works after this, so I may or may not drop a preview chapter for it somewhere between now and the end of this story

Anywhoo, love y’all!

Enjoy, lovelies!

Warning: Explicit Content… kinda sorta, you be the judge ;)

John

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Four Hours Before Present Time

I couldn’t control myself anymore. Not my rage, nor my urges with Derek. My blood was still boiling from the events I just witnessed play out.

That woman kissed him. Kissed him. And as if the audacity wasn’t fucking rampant enough, she then slapped him.

I had a brief lapse in judgment with containing my growing rage when I saw that, so when the champagne chute finally shattered in my hand, I couldn’t even register I’d done it at first. Hell, I wasn’t even sure who handed me the damn towel or who took the drenched suit jacket off of me. All I had my eyes set on then, was Derek.

The absolute rage I had for that woman who dared to touch him in any way, let alone like that. The hug had already pulled me completely out of the conversation with Olaf, and fixated on those two, but then what followed…

That kiss made me feel something I don’t think I’ve ever felt for another partner before. The slap just secured my sudden urge to kill someone.

I couldn’t remember the walk over, but I’m sure I pushed a few people out of my way to get there. Derek had seen me stalking over to him, his eyes darting sporadically between the women in front of him, and myself. The look on his face was clear panic.

He seemed like he was working hard to figure out how to explain what just happened, but I didn’t care to have that conversation here. Or with anyone else but him.

I grabbed the hand he pointed at me, firmly, trying so goddamn hard not to pull too hard as I yanked him towards me. It felt good having him near me again. My body stilled a moment though, when I made eye contact with the woman who touched him. She was standing to my right.

I didn’t recognize her, or the older woman Derek had first started this conversation with, and from how the older woman introduced herself to Derek, I don’t think he knew who she was either.

But he sure as hell knew this younger one.

I glanced over her features for a brief second. She was tall, beautiful… which only pissed me the fuck off more. I couldn’t remember exactly what I told her because in that moment, I wasn’t thinking straight. I was seeing red, while simultaneously telling myself that I couldn’t lay hands on this woman the same way she had with Derek.

Now if Derek’s exes were men, this would’ve been a bit easier. How the hell was I supposed to have a conversation with this woman when all I wanted to do was punch something.

Instead, I’m sure I told her to stay put while I sorted things out with Derek, because this conversation most definitely wasn’t over. Then I did my best to find a place in this massive home where I could talk to Derek without making a whole scene for Onyx and their investors.

I had probably already made one with crushing that glass in my hand like that, but at least it helped pull the attention away from Derek’s escalating situation.

And although I didn’t wait a moment once we were inside the empty study to start in on my line of questioning, the way this conversation eventually played out wasn’t what I was expecting at all.

When Derek said he deserved that slap, I felt my heart break a little. There was a rawness- an insane amount of shame etched into his voice. It cut through that initial anger, forcing me to remember what Christian had said. About his insane past relationships. The domestic violence. The… well, the cheating.

I felt my stomach churn at the thought of Derek maybe having eyes for someone else when he was with me.

But then there was that look in his eyes tonight. The look in his eyes now.

No… no. Derek understood now. He might not of then, but he definitely did now. And while I did think the past can shape a person, I also thought it was a disservice to paint a person for who they were if they were making efforts to not be that person anymore.

And the look on Derek’s face… the uncomfortableness and almost intense violation of the whole situation when it happened. I knew for a fact that Derek didn’t want any of that, which just made this possessiveness in me grow.

I wasn’t try to be overbearing with him, but I couldn’t help but advance his position against that desk, to clarify a few things.

“John…” Derek’s voice was muffled by my kiss as I pulled him against me hard. My hand continued to palm him through his dress pants, but I was slow. He couldn’t cum in these, not yet anyways. The stain would be visible through the light green material and I guess we still had a party to get back to.

We had reached an understanding mere moments ago, he and I. I wanted to make things clear before this young man had me catching a murder charge for someone else touching him. That woman out there had definitely violated him, and trust and believe that was going to be dealt with shortly after this, but moving forward Derek needed to understand exactly what I wouldn’t tolerate.

And I drew the line at anyone touching him.

But me. Of course.

He may have been a flirt in the past, but that shit did not fly with me and my feelings for him.

His moans into my kiss as I deepened it, was what was starting to change my mind about the slow palming. About keeping things slow in general. He was coming undone, shivering at every touch now. His hands had a vice grip on my shirt, and I loved feeling him clutch onto me like that.

Like he needed this, and me.

The look in his eyes when he broke the kiss to catch his breath told me he did. Those slightly lowered lids. His bottom lip curling in and biting down in hopes his noises would be more muffled. If we weren’t in a home with this many guests, I swear I would’ve pulled that bottom lip back out with my teeth ages ago.

There was nothing more satisfying than the sound of Derek when he was like this.

I knew I made him nervous. I knew this made him pretty fucking nervous. But when his feeling of pleasure overtook his overthinking with how vocal he was being, that was by far the biggest turn on for myself. I wanted to see him like that every goddamn time I touched him.

My hand moved up to his pant buttons, capturing his lips again, and deciding I needed more. Just to feel him a little. My fingers undid the top button with ease, but before I could reach for the zipper, I heard a knock on the door.

“ Oh you’ve

got

to be fucking kidding. “ I murmured harshly against Derek’s now swollen lips.

Derek’s body went so still, I would’ve thought he froze in time if it wasn’t for his laboured, more shallow breathes against my own lips.

“John! Ya in there?” Marty asked. The thick doors surprisingly allowing more sound through than I thought.

I felt Derek relax a little against me at the sound of Marty. I guess this was the best case scenario.

I turned my head slightly towards the door. “Yeah, what do you need?”

There was a slight pause. “Oh! Well honestly nothing personally, Olaf was looking for you. What are you doing in there anyways?”

It was my turn to take a second to answer. “I’m um- I’m having a conversation.” My voice was still a lot rougher than I intended.

“Oh?”

“…With Derek.”

“Oh… Oh . Right . I’ll uh, I’ll come check in again in five. As in five minutes… sharp. As in you got 300 seconds ex-”

“Got it, Marty.”

“Alrightalrightalright…” we heard his voice fade as his footsteps got lighter down the corridor.

That was when I turned back to Derek who was trying to stop a chuckle from breaking past his lips. I don’t know why but I almost broke out into one myself.

“I think Marty is sick and tired of our shit.” Derek whispered with a smile, his voice a lot lower now. Looks like we both picked up on this room not being all that soundproof.

“I think so to.” I whispered back.

“We should uh- we should probably get back to the crowd. I’m positive your disappearing act will be noticed, Mr. Terry.” I loved when he got all posh with me like that.

“I think yours will.” I replied honestly, that crowd had fallen in love with this man. My words made Derek’s recovering face, just a little more flushed again. “And plus, the conversation with that woman out there isn’t done.”

Derek suddenly tugged on my dress shirt a bit, catching my attention. “You should know that I um- well I did tell them that I was already in a relationship with someone, after everything happened.”

“With someone?” I whispered lightly, gazing a bit deeper into him than I meant to.

“With you.” He clarified, his gaze holding mine. I didn’t understand how someone could be so damn beautiful. “I told them I was in a relationship with you specifically. They just- well, they didn’t know that before so just keep that in mind when you’re…”

“Just talking, Derek. We’re just going to have a few words.” I replied with a smile. What the hell did the Ivanov’s have Derek thinking rich people do? “But,” I continued, slipping past his unbuttoned pants to briefly feel up his toned stomach. “I love the fact that you told her it was me.”

Derek’s eyebrows furrowed a bit. “Of course I did.” He replied, surprising me a little. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re my boyfriend after all right?”

I nodded, chuckling a little to myself as I thought about the crazy anxiety I was just having earlier tonight about this very thing. “No, you’re right.”

That made Derek smile again. “Good, cause I take this date instead of plus one title very seriously. Don’t insult me like that.” He huffed quietly.

I dipped my head, allowing my nose to gently brush against his for a second. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Derek’s breathing hitched slightly before I pulled away. His eyes had drifted closed, and it took him a moment to open them again.

“Derek?” I whispered.

“Hmm?” He asked, gazing back at me. He was still in my embrace, with one of my arms secured tightly around his waist. His hands were still clutched onto the front of my shirt, as my free hand slowly slid further up him. His shirt’s material felt nice to the touch, and yet each ridged and crevice of his own body was even more enticing.

He was practically sitting on the desk at this point, but I was being careful not to push him too far back because it looked like there was actual things on it. Things we could potentially mess up or break.

“How are your social levels right now?” I asked.

“Honestly?” Derek replied, his lids slowly lowering again to my touch, especially as it spread across his chest. I hummed for him to continue. “Depleted. I just wanted to make a really good first impression though, so we should at least-” he paused a moment when my finger grazed a nipple through his shirt. “-At least try to stick it out.”

My fingers paused a moment, forcing Derek’s eyes out of that delightful daze he was in to focus on my words instead of my hands.

“You have made one incredible first impression.” I said seriously. “Plus, the after dinner mingling is usually for those who know they’ll be late and don’t want to embarrass themselves by showing up late through dinner- a very rude gesture to both the host, attendees, and staff since courses are on rotation.”

“Oh so that’s why Olaf was pissed with Pierre?” Derek asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “well that and he just doesn’t like Pierre.” Derek cracked a grin at that, and I couldn’t blame him. “But yes, what Pierre did tonight was rude in our eyes. If you’re going to be late, skip the dinner and come during the gathering after. It’s open bar too, so most are probably treating this as their pre-game.”

“Hmm.” Derek nodded. “So there’s a whole system to it.”

“Unfortunately yes. We did great tonight though. You did great tonight.”

Derek smiled, breaking eye contact only briefly as his cheeks heated up. I gave his forehead a gentle kiss.

“Stay here.” God it felt like an ice cold wind flew the room when I finally had to separate myself from Derek. Retracting both arms from his warm body, as I stepped out of our more straddled position. I could’ve been like that with him until the second coming of Christ.

Derek looked at me a bit confused as he slowly slid off the desk. This disheveled look- his swollen lips, and that crimson face. His pants were still undone, but I watched his shaky hands reach up slightly in a desperate attempt to fix that.

Both our hairstyles had actually made it through okay. My hands were too busy on Derek while his were holding on for dear life by my shirt.

“Where are you going?” He asked me. “And wait, why am I staying?”

“I’m going to check on something quick, then I’ll come get you and we’ll say our goodbyes.” I straightened my own self out, fixing my crotch, and smoothing my shirt out best I could, before moving closer to the door.

“Oh.” Derek replied, the confusion slowly subsiding. “Are you sure?” He added.

Am I sure-

Dear god , this man was lucky he was so fucking adorable.

“Yes Derek,” I smiled, looking back at him. “I’m sure. So please,” my tone dropped a little for this last part, “ Please don’t make me wait any longer .“

Derek broke eye contact with me at that, looking past me to the door when his face flared up again, but he gave me a nod. My smile only grew as I turned to leave.

After my very brief yet insightful conversation with Gillian about who Sharon and her daughter were, I found the person I was looking for sitting at one of the lounge spots in an open room. It was adjacent to the main room everyone was chatting and getting drinks in at the bar.

She hadn’t noticed me because her back was to me, but I recognized the fiery red hair semi draped over the back rest of the chair, with a bit of that brown jack showing at the flipped collar. It looked like a large group were sitting around chatting so I did my best to approach her without being noticed.

I crouched down a bit next to her side, my head only a few inches away from her ear.

“I thought I told you to stay put.”

Her head turned so fast, I almost got whipped in the face with a few strands of her hair.

“John!” I heard someone else welcome me from the seated group I was trying to not interrupt. I gave the man I barely recognized, a friendly smile.

“Stay seated and look ahead.” I told this woman, who did as she was told immediately. I still had that friendly smile on my face, but the tone of my low voice said it all.

“I-” the woman started. “I’m so sorry- I- I didn’t know-”

“Do you make it a habit of kissing and slapping everyone you see?”

“I-” the woman started.

“Smile.” I whispered, to which she gave the next group of investors who looked our way, a pleasant smile and a wave. I could see her hands had started to shake a bit though, when she placed them back in her lap.

“Had I known- see, we dated before so I just-”

“You what?” I whispered, nodding up at Marty across the room who was holding up and pointing to a small plate of food with glee. Looks like he finally found something edible. “You thought that was okay because you’ve dated him before?”

“Well we uh- you know-”

I felt my jaw hinge, then unhinge.

“Just because you had his body in the past, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to it now. Or ever. I think it’s in your best interest for us to never cross paths again. And if you ever-” my voice paused, focusing on Olaf who was nearby for a second, and wondering if he was going to stop by me on his way to Gillian across the hall… but it looked like he decided on a drink first, and headed back the way of the bar. “If you ever even dream about touching the molecules surrounding that man, let alone him , I’d like you to think of your mother first, and her stellar new position here at Onyx.”

My voice dropped dangerously low at this last part, losing control on my rage for just a moment.

“I may not be able to hurt you like you just hurt him, but rest assured, I don’t have to lay hands on you to financially gut you.”

My hand gently patted her shoulder before I stood, not bothering to hear what her response would be.

I instead had a man to drive home, and to have my way with.

Oh wait, fuck, and a cat to feed.

••

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52. Pierre

Second Upload ;)

Mannn… by the title, y’all already know lol

Okay quick q, do you guys see the photos I usually have at the very top? It should be the book cover but cropped and without any text

I’ve been adding them to each chapter, but when I preview my published works, it just vanishes

Also, Wattpad, if y’all are here, every time I click a comment that shit be disappearing my nigga- fix it, por favor.

Also I edited the prev chapters and will get to this tomorrow

Anyways, enjoy!

xoxo

Derek

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I tried to pull myself together best I could once that door opened. John left it open as he walked out to face the music, which let in more light from the corridor space.

I decided to have a look around the room now that I could see it better.

It was old. Really old. So old, the spines of the books were all monotoned in color, almost blending together along the shelves. It was something you rarely ever see with books of the 21st century, and though I loved a good pop of color, there was just something about old books that felt sacred.

I wanted to take a deep look around the place, but I remembered what John had said about breaking things.

Yeah… better not.

I looked with my eyes though, something my teacher always told me to do when I was younger because I always wanted to touch everything. I fucking hated when she said that. I mean, you’ve got to let the kid touch the hot stove to learn their lesson right?… I just incorporated that into my lifestyle- I promised myself id touch everything I could, at least once.

But today was not the day, of course. I’d caused enough trouble for John as is.

There was a black type writer sitting on the desk I was leant against, right next to me, but I hadn’t noticed it before when John and I were in here earlier. I slowly stretched by hand out, hesitating a little as I contemplated it. I wanting to feel just once what the keys felt like when you pressed down, and they sprung back up quickly-

“Where’s John?”

I whipped my head towards the entryway of the room as soon as that voice registered, causing me to pull my hand away from the keys. And sure enough, as if this night couldn’t possibly get any worse, there, standing in the large doorway, was fucking Pierre.

He walked into the room with a wine glass in hand, which I noticed was filled to the absolute brim with red wine. Actually the fact that he could carry it without spilling any was a talent all in itself. He had this look to him like he might be a little tipsy, but his stature was normal as he waltzed into the room like he owned the place.

“Not here.” I replied, taking a play from Brad’s book. Less was more with this one.

“Yeah clearly. I couldn’t find him out in the main hall either.”

There may have been a time where being alone with this man freaked me out- ahem , the time Brad left me alone to fend for myself at the vet a week and a bit ago, but after having John deal with an ex from my past mere moments ago, I decided I could deal with this fucking idiot just fine.

It made me realize how much control John had exercised tonight with my situation, cause if Pierre would’ve kissed John, I would’ve simply had to kill him. Pierre, that is. Like even just the thought of his lips touching John’s made my fucking blood boil.

“Well, whatever. If you’re here, I’m sure he’s bound to come running in like a lap dog. He always did love shiny new toys.”

I shut my eyes a moment, choosing to ignore that comment completely.

The high road, Derek. The high road .

“Well I hope you’re enjoying yourself tonight.” I replied with, keeping a tight smile. I wanted to add for the whole two second you’ve been here for , but I kept it to myself.

I was now a changed man, after all. And if John had it in him to have a reasonable chat with Sharon’s daughter, then I could keep it kosher with this absolute twat.

Pierre scoffed, taking another few steps inside the old study. “Yeah sure. I couldn’t give a single fuck about anyone here so who really cares.”

My eyebrows furrowed at that. “Then why did you come?” I asked.

“For John, of course.” Pierre responded all matter of factly. “Why the fuck else would I be here?”

I was starting to play with a a small frayed piece of fabric on the inside of the jacket’s hem to keep my fingers busy, yet my eyes never left Pierre’s. He was keeping his voice as level as he could, but after he took that first massive gulp of wine from his glass, I knew the fucker was at the very least tipsy.

He couldn’t have been at this event for more than like two hours tops so I had to question how much wine he was slamming back to get here, and whether each glass looked like one he walked in here with.

“You tell me.” I continued, working to keep my voice leveled even though every word Pierre spat my way sounded and felt like it was laced with venom. “You say you’re here for John, and yet you couldn’t even show up for his speech on time. Actually, at all.”

Pierre’s entire body stilled a moment. There was something that flashed across his face, but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was before it was gone.

I watched him bring that wine glass back to his lips, before he took yet another step forward. Now we were just a few feet away, a safe distance for a conversation, yet it was a conversation he clearly wanted to have that I didn’t.

“I had a work thing-” he started.

“It sounds like you always do. Rather, did . Especially when it mattered most to him.” I finished.

There was a silence between us now that I could only describe as eerie. I could see it in his eyes- the anger. He didn’t frighten me as much though. Seeing him like this was almost pitiful.

“You know absolutely nothing about me.” Pierre spat back. He took another large gulp from his wine glass, leaving about half the glass full now. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t go for some red wine too. Not as much as Pierre, but this conversation alone made me want to drink.

“And what exactly do you know about John?” I asked him.

Pierre looked at me like I was a fucking idiot. “What the fuck does that mean?” He chuckled dryly to himself, taking the first opportunity since he walked into this room, to look at anything but me. From the brief glance he gave everything, I could tell he didn’t give a shit about a single thing in here. “What, you want to talk about his dick size? I know every crevice of that man’s body, and yet you have the audacity to ask me if I know him? “

“The fact that you even remotely think I meant his body by that question, is damming enough. Do you know his favourite meal to cook?”

Pierre paused a moment, more than likely thinking back to the meals John had made. “He likes a well done steak.” Pierre finalized.

I almost burst out in a hearty dry chuckle myself, but I stopped before I could.

High road, Derek. High road.

“No,” I shook my head, “he actually really likes seafood in terms of meat. Getting it fresh at this local Asian market is his favourite because there’s an old lady who works there that gives him free samples to take home every time he goes. She’s incredibly sweet by the way. She doesn’t know a lick of English but they exchange smiles and a hug like family. He knows her schedule already so he likes to plan large dinners around the weekends she’s working…”

I trailed off, remembering our time there together probably at least a month ago now. It made me smile.

“He feels a little guilty if he doesn’t stop by every few weeks. Same with the farmers market whenever they’re open for the year.”

Pierre’s face showed nothing but anger, yet I swore I saw something flicker in his eyes. Whatever was there, was consumed by anger again soon after.

“He actually usually has a bad reaction to most of the spices that go on steak’s, especially the ones you like, so every time he cooked for you, he made himself a plain steak. He doesn’t even really like steak, and yet he ate a fucking plain one for you in the hopes you two could eat together.” For fucking fucks sake , I almost added out of sheer fucking anger alone.

“It’s not my fault if he doesn’t bring shit like this up to me.” Pierre spat back, but his voice was mixed. He was definitely getting more drunk now, I could hear the slight slurring in his words.

“Should he have to?” I asked the man quietly. “Did you two even have dinner together enough times for you to notice? Sure, you aren’t a mind reader, but do you even know his favourite book? Comic? The things that make him… him?”

The look in his eyes told me I’d struck a nerve.

And part of me told me to start dialing it back, to not provoke him any further, especially while he was like this… but the other part of me said fuck that. He was the one who barged in here and he was the one that started this stupid conversation. This little fucktard needed to hear this.

“You’re at an event tonight meant to honor Onyx for all their achievements, and recognize you for what you’ve given to their vision… yet I wonder whether you actually know what that vision is. Whether you actually know anything about the company you’ve donated to.”

If looks could kill, Pierre was in the Home Depot picking out nails for my coffin.

“You don’t even know the fucking half of the empire we built, the work we did- I did for us .”

I looked at him a moment, unsure. Unsure of how wrong someone could be about someone else.

“If you ever thought it was about the money, I don’t think you really ever knew John at all.”

Welp. Now Pierre looked like he wanted to burn me at the stake with the daggers he was sending, but I internally shrugged.

There won’t be any room for dead people in boxes come a couple hundred years, so cremation was far more sustainable anyways.

And god, if you’re both real, listening, and thinking of sending me to hell… I just want to say, slay girl. Ariana Grande may have let the cat out of the bag with God being a woman and all, but if a woman were to send me to hell, point me in the direction girl cause I probably needed that time out anyways.

“And why the fuck do you think I’d even listen to the shit you have to say about him? You’re literally a nobody here tonight, a nobody. A plus one . I’m the one actually on the goddamn guest list, and right at the top might I remind you.”

“But did you get a seat at the table?” I countered. “You know, that one where all the important people at the very top of the list were sitting.”

Alright that one struck a

nerve

.

“You little cock sucking slut! Some of us didn’t sleep our way there.”

I looked back at him, my eyebrows raising some.

“If you think I’ll take offense to you calling me a slut, I’ll have you know I literally had the biggest hot pink, glitter and bedazzled sign, front row and center at Amber Rose’s Slut Walk. There’s CCTV footage to prove it. Most words are only as important as you make them out to be my dear chéri, and given my history with the porn history, the word slut holds no fucking weight when used as an insult. In fact, to think I’ve got the sexual expertise to bed my way to the top, is one damn good compliment.”

The look in Pierre’s eyes once I said that, made me slightly worried. Only slightly though, and clearly not enough to shut myself up.

“The only reason I didn’t sit there was because I showed up late and that fucking dickhead Olaf hates me. He had no problem taking my money though.”

“Well see that’s your first problem,” I started, lying literally to everyone because this man had such an onslaught of problems, this couldn’t be the first, “you have the audacity to call the man who invited you into this space, a dickhead. And the gall to do all this while you’re still here. Drinking his free booze.”

“I earned this right with my money.”

“No, you bought it. Throwing money at a problem hasn’t earned you anything. You worked to get the money, you didn’t work to earn your place amongst creatives. And I’m starting to think that’s why John might be so disgusted with you, and what this event is. Everyone I’ve met here tonight, they’re a lot like yourself- which I mean when you put it that way, I

really

see why John didn’t want to come.“

Alright that last jab was a bit under the belt, but fuck this guy.

“Or at least I thought they were like you when I arrived. I think John did as well…. But they aren’t.”

I pulled some of my shirt sleeve down from inside the blazer, working to straighten myself up a little more before John got back.

“After just one conversation, every person I’ve talked to here has showcased a passion for what they do. What they love . They have a purpose for what they started here… for

why

they started here . Sure, money makes the world go round, but what makes all that work worth it in the end? What makes the grind worth it if you can’t relish in the excitement for upcoming comics you love? Hell, at an event that’s held by the biggest comic book producer and distributor in the fucking country? What’s the whole point of that?“

Pierre didn’t answer that one. At this point I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, I think his default mood was just set to anger.

“I’ve spoken to so many people here who’s bank accounts wouldn’t even spit in the direction of mine if it was on fire- which honestly, it usually is. My finances are really just vibes, but that’s not the point. The point is, even with all that money, more money than you have now from the sounds of it-”

Alright, hit another nerve. His forehead vein was starting to pulsate.

Actually at this point we were well past nerves. This man looked like I’d been playing wack-a-mole with his face for the past thirty minutes and now he was ready for his get back.

“All that money,” I continued, quite boldly if I do say, “and yet, talking to them for five minutes pulled out a side of them that I’d grab drinks with. Easily. In a few minutes, I learned more about their jobs than anything you could find in their job descriptions, and not just that, I got to hear about the good parts. The exciting parts. The reason they still wake up each morning and fucking do it.”

I knew I was monologuing here, but if Pierre wasn’t going to interrupt me, then he was just going to accept these verbal hands in replacement of physical ones.

“So yeah Pierre, I’d argue that a lot of people here including yourself might have a bit of an ugly heart… because money will do that to a person, regardless of who they are. The rich don’t stay rich by giving all they can- all they should , to the poor.”

And that was a true statement, even for John. Though I took refuge in my funky little head whenever I could, and didn’t want to face this ugly, disgusting grey world, I wasn’t naive enough to think that everyone could do right all the time, and I knew John, much like the Ivanov’s and everyone else who had money, made some sacrifices to keep it.

“But man. We’re in a castle filled with the largest dollar sign folks, and yet the one thing I’ve felt in every single person here besides you… is a soul .”

I folded the sleeve of the blazer up now, deciding it looked better that way anyways.

“You can tell me what you do for a living, your living, but I don’t think you can tell how to live. I don’t think you’d know where to start. And I’m in love with a man that’s living each day learning how.”

I took a deep breath finally, really testing Pierre’s limits out with this last part.

“So save all that work ethic mumbo jumbo for the next guy, cause you don’t know, nor may ever know, what it means to work to live. And what a sad existence to fall victim to, not knowing how to make yourself happy… and so you latch yourself so desperately onto those who once cared enough to try.”

…

The silence Pierre and I sat in after that was bloody lethal.

And maybe his next coarse of action was expected… but then it would be expected by everyone else on this fucking planet other than me.

Why?

Because usually when I got a drink thrown at me, it was after someone found out I cheated.

I didn’t register Pierre had thrown his wine all over my suit, until some of that alcohol splashed up onto my face.

I glanced down, analyzing the massive stain now stretching across every piece of clothing I was wearing. The blazer. The shirt. The dress pants. Probably my fucking underwear.

High road, Derek. High road.

It was seeping into the beautiful green material…

The material John bought me… the suit he sent me.

High road, Derek.

High road.

High road.

I glanced back up at Pierre who now had this slight smug look on his face. Like he had somehow won this argument by tossing wine on me.

High road… high road… high r-

You know how often people say you should take the path less traveled? Well I’ve worked in customer service enough to learn that, with people, you can’t always take the high road.

So, just for tonight, I decided I’d take the path most travelled.

Fuck the high road.

If Pierre wanted to go low, I’d drill into the earths crust and take us right to that fucking core. Only god could judge me.

And Clippy.

That was the last thing I remembered thinking before I used the one tool I had in my Bob the Builder Talking Utility Belt…

It was the wrestling move that got me suspended for a week in the third grade….

And man, I still got it if I do say so myself.

••

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53. Don’t Say Anything Else

Mannn I’ve really been on it with writing lol

Thank you guys so so so much for all the votes and the sweetest comments a gal could ask for, seriously!

Y’all make this shit so fun

I wouldn’t be here without you guys, so if you’ve made it this far, just know that I love and adore you to smithereens

And I seriously appreciate the trust y’all put in my work, and the love you show it

I cant wait to see what else this year’s got for us after this

But for now, let’s have some fun :)

xoxo

Also Wattpad, consider this non-expiring beef for making me go back and add all those header photos on my laptop

John

Present Day

Just take a deep breath, John.

It’s fine.

Don’s on it.

My arms slowly relaxed themselves at my sides, and I leant against the wall wedged right at the other end of the bars.

Derek was only a couple feet away, following the directions I gave him. Stay silent, and stay near me. It was only going to get worse if either of us said a word, so I watched on quietly as he stood there lightly tapping his foot.

I wanted to get him out of those fucking clothes. And not like sexually- well that too, but he must’ve felt uncomfortable with all the wine still drenched into the fabric. I couldn’t believe Pierre-

I felt my bruised knuckles tighten when my fingers curled in on themselves. I barely even recalled what the last few hours were, all I remembered was going back to get Derek from that study, then finding him and Pierre rolling around on the floor fighting. 

By the time I got Pierre off Derek, I’d already semi accidentally landed a blow to the side of Pierre’s face. I think that sobered him up a bit because everything in this room reeked of alcohol including him, and he wasn’t the one drenched in it.

The thing that landed us in a precinct holding cell would be the homeowners security that swarmed into the study soon after me.

Apparently they thought we were all drunken idiots because Pierre here couldn’t handle his liquor.

It doesn’t matter anymore, I thought to myself now. We just needed to tough this out for a few more hours, which meant I needed everyone to not talk for that duration. Well I needed Derek not to talk. I needed Pierre to shut the fuck up. I’m not sure what vile shit he said to Derek to get us here, but shutting up was absolutely the best solution to get us out.

The issue was, Derek was fidgety as all hell.

I could tell he didn’t like being locked in like this. I’m sure the suit was uncomfortable, and we’d been here for three fucking hours.

I had to wake Don up for this shit because the only way we could get out right now was if we covered all damages to the original owners and made bail. Don assured there won’t be any charges after. The issue was, the fucking statue Derek and Pierre broke during that tussle was in the higher range of six figures.

Don almost had a stroke tonight when he heard that.

“Derek.” I called out. He looked over at me from his once fixated gaze past the bars.

“Hmm?”

“Come closer.”

I watched as he slowly turned and took a few steps to his left, nearing the wall I was leaning against.

“What’s up?” He asked a bit cautiously.

“Nothing,” I sighed. “I just wanted you closer.”

Derek broke eye contact immediately, looking away, but not quickly enough to hide his blush. “Oh.”

He went back to fixating on something past the bars, but his foot stopped tapping.

I know he was pissed. Definitely pissed at Pierre, and probably pissed as myself because I scolded them both on the way here.

It was safe to say my initial response was anger. The home owners security had escorted us out the back doors to avoid the commotion and embarrassment of being detained in front of the guests, but no one could find Olaf before they decided to take us down to the precinct.

So I had no choice but to wake up Don at what was well past midnight at that point. He assured me he’d both get us out, and kill me, all in one night.

I told him that was some good work ethic and I was proud of him.

He told me to go to hell.

So now we were here… waiting…

“Piss. Off.” Pierre snapped at the guy who was sitting beside him. I couldn’t remember what his name was, but I was glad he was the only other one in here tonight. I had told Derek to stand close to me cause I didn’t know where we’d end up, but now… well- now I just wanted him closer.

What a fucking night , I thought.

“Come closer.” I told Derek again, which broke his concentration to look over at me, but he turned and took a few more steps regardless. I walked behind him, placing my hands on the shoulders of the jacket before I slipped it off. “It’s wet.” I explained to Derek, folding up the material neatly and draping it over my arm before I turned and leant back against the wall.

“Oh- I’m okay, I can-” Derek started.

“No.” I shook my head, to which he averted his gaze again.

Fuck, I just wanted to be home with Derek right now.

Herold was also going to kill me. Slowly.

You know those stories about how caretakers pass and their cats sometimes eat their body?

Well I’m sure Herold was fixing to do that in my sleep.

“The hell is your assistant doing?” Pierre grumbled. I looked over at him, feeling my anger start to bubble up again. I didn’t wish I would’ve hit him harder… but I do wish he leant into that punch a little more.

“Pierre,” I spoke coldly, using a tone I rarely ever used with anyone. “I want you to search deep within you. Deep. Think back to every time you’ve crossed paths with Don. Everything you know about him. Everything he surely knows about you. Then ask yourself, do you really think that man is burning the midnight oil to get you out too?”

Pierre looked over at me. I could see more of himself sobering up right before my very eyes.

“But Olaf-”

“Keep searching.” I cut him off.

Olaf would’ve ‘lost’ the key if he had it to free Pierre.

Hell, he’d probably ‘forget’ the location of Pierre.

Another good thirty minutes passed without anyone coming to get us. At that point, I couldn’t tell what stage of delirium I was reaching.

Derek had done well, managing to keep quiet and close. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to pull him into me, but I stopped myself. I knew we still needed to talk… about everything. I hadn’t given him the chance to yet.

“You know,” Derek started.

“Derek-”

He looked over at me, before saying “ no .“

That was when his eyes finally met mine… but he looked at me… differently .

“ No .“ He said again.

…Fuck.

“ Okay .“ I slowly nodded. I didn’t want us to do this here, but I couldn’t say no to him- not when he looked at me like that.

“I didn’t lose control.” He said his words quietly, maybe hoping they’d find just me, even though I was almost positive nosy whatchyamacallhim over there and Pierre were listening in too. “I mean like… yes, okay, I did tackle him… but not because I couldn’t keep my cool with the shit he was saying.”

I wanted so desperately to understand what this man meant, but I was beyond the realms of confused.

“What do you mean?” I replied, keeping my voice down as well.

“I-” Derek paused a moment. “I may have said a few things that may have provoked him. Some pretty cut throat things, but nothing he didn’t need to hear.”

My eyebrows raised slightly at that. I couldn’t stop my smile. “Did you now?”

Derek continued to hold my gaze. “Well of course, I had to defend your honor. And I guess mine since he thinks I slept my way to the top-”

“What?” I asked a little suddenly.

“Not important.” Derek brushed it off.

No, no I’m pretty sure that was fucking important. The look I cast Pierre was absolutely deadly, and he immediately looked away.

“What else did he say?” I asked Derek.

“It’s not important.” He insisted, his eyes growing softer. “There’s absolutely nothing he could say that could damage who you are… and who you are… to me.” I slid my hands into my suit pant pockets to stop myself from outwardly fidgeting. Fuck , I wanted to touch him. I wanted to touch him so goddamn bad.

He took another step forward, almost reading my mind.

“It was the suit.” He barely spoke, his voice low.

My eyebrows creased again. “What do you mean?” I continued to keep my voice down as well.

“He spilt wine on it.”

I glanced down at my arm, that was starting to go damp with the wine seeping from the jacket. I think I got that part.

“Yeah. It’s okay baby, we can always buy another one.”

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, breaking eye contact with me finally. He looked… uncomfortable, more uncomfortable than he had before. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and when his eyes eventually found mine again, it felt different. His face was starting to get redder.

“It-it’s- no.”

Mmkay. I’d seen Derek is very many stages, however this one… this was new.

“It’s not about-” he stopped himself short, seemingly thinking about how to better explain this.

I felt my lips curl up when I realized what he meant. “You don’t want another suit.”

Derek slowly shook his head. “You got me this one. “

I felt my nails digging into my palms as I tried to control myself.

“And he ruined this one .”

Fuck .

Jesus, any harder and I was going to draw blood.

“So…” I took a deep long breath. “So he didn’t say- you didn’t do that cause he said-”

“That man could tell me the sky is blue and I’d still go check.”

I-

“Like I said, there’s nothing he could say that would change how I feel about you. Sure you could’ve lied straight through your fucking teeth this whole time we’ve been together-”

Derek paused. He seemed to really think about his next choice of words.

“But I think it’s less about who you tell me you are, and more about who others are around you. I haven’t met a single person yet besides that guy over there,” Derek jerked his thumb in Pierre’s general direction, “who doesn’t think you’re godsent. And I think I’ve got a running list for the guys who hate that shithead.”

I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out to grab Derek’s wine stained shirt, and yanking him closer.

The things I would’ve given for it to have been just the two of us here.

I felt too many things right now, and all of them we’re leading back to him.

“ Don’t say anything else ,“ I murmured to him, still keeping my voice low.

Derek started to look at me a bit confused. “Did I-”

I dipped my head a bit lower closer to his ear, cutting his train of thought completely off. “Not here. If you do, I won’t be able to hold myself back .”

Once I pulled away, Derek’s entire face was entirely red. “I-”

I put a finger up to my lips, signally for him to remain quiet, to which he just got more flushed.

But I wasn’t lying. I wanted to touch him. And if he started talking like that…

To my surprise, I heard the door on our right open moments later, startling the hell out of both Derek and myself.

“Alright, Terry and Holding, let’s go.” An officer announced roughly, followed by another officer who unlocked and swung open the barred door for us. Derek awkwardly stepped ahead to follow the first officer, but a voice from behind me stopped my feet from moving further.

“So you weren’t joking, huh.”

I didn’t bother turning back to Pierre when I addressed him. “I told you. You should’ve made a call.” I’m not sure why he thought I was joking when I said Don wasn’t doing anything for him. “But thanks for this-” I held up Derek’s wine drenched jacket. “You never fail to leave a mess wherever you go.”

There was a slight pause before Pierre muttered “it’s an ugly color anyways.”

That made my whole body still. There was something in me that broke with what he said. Or maybe the correct word was snapped . I felt my shoulders jolt forward a bit as I chuckled dryly. “Man. Thanks Pierre. Truly, I can’t thank you enough for all your hard work.”

“With what?” He replied, with an equal dryness in his tone.

“Helping me dodge the absolute grenade that is you. And I must say, I don’t know what your searching for, but I’ll save you the exercise by saying this: you don’t need to look any further than yourself to find the bearer of your own unhappiness.” I paused a moment. “Convenient isn’t it? You don’t even have to leave the house.”

That was when I finally stepped past the last officer, quickly picking up on his annoyance that I was still fucking here to begin with. I’m sure he was questioning whether I actually wanted my freedom or not.

“Go home.” I spoke on my way out.

Was the last thing I said to Pierre before I let the officer do his job.

Derek and I started to make our way out of a precinct that he and I- well… that I hadn’t been to before, I was quickly learning the same maybe couldn’t be said for Derek. After having had my conversation with Don over the phone when he was trying to get this mess sorted, I could comfortably say that Derek and I had a long road of conversations ahead of us.

Once we got through a few doors, I noticed a familiar man up ahead waiting by an empty desk.

“John!” Olaf beamed once he spotted us, pulling me in for a tight hug as soon as we drew closer, like I just did 10 years in gen pop or something.

I couldn’t help but smile though, and when he pulled Derek in for a friendly hug of his own, Derek couldn’t help but smile too.

“The hell are you doing here, Olaf? And where the hell were you earlier?” That made this consistently overjoyed man laugh.

“Sorry, the sister called. My neice wanted me to read her a bedtime story so I stepped away for a bit.”

That must’ve been where he wandered off to when I saw him earlier. I just assumed it was the bar, nothing that wholesome.

“Shame on you for diffusing my anger with my love for your niece.” I chastised him, to which he just laughed. He knew I loved that rascal.

“I’m here now aren’t I? I got things settled with the owners security, finished the funds transfer with Don over the phone- I only charged y’all half, don’t worry, I’ll cover the other half. Only partly because I assume all this was all Pierre’s doing anyways.”

And was.

I couldn’t help but smile at my good friend. I knew he was beyond exhausted, so the fact that he still had the energy to do all this tonight, baffled me.

“As for Pierre, he will still be paying a large amount of fines out of pocket, and I’m not posting his bail until the weekend is over. That’s his punishment for both showing up late and still managing to further embarrass you, your date, myself, and my company. The bail now includes that half of the price of the statue which will ensure he stays here this whole weekend. I know a good deal about his financial situation, and there’s no way he can liquify enough assets before Monday.”

I just stood there a bit stunned. If I was being honest, there’s very few people I would’ve done all this work for at four in the morning. I wasn’t sure if Olaf was one of them then, but I guess he was now. “What do I owe you? name your price.”

Olaf’s easygoing grin never left his aged face when he pointed to Derek. “Him.”

My eyes narrowed immediately, but when Olaf’s grin widened, I felt myself slowly relax. “Card declined. Insufficient funds.” I replied. Olaf almost buckled over.

“Ah fuck John, I’ve really missed ya.”

Derek shifted his weight some besides us, before he finally gained the courage to talk to the man that was probably equivalent to Jesus for him.

“I’m being… sold?” he questioned. That just made Olaf and I laugh harder.

“No no- well I mean yes, but not like that, and it’ll be consensual.”

Derek looked even more confused.

“I think you’ve got to explain yourself, big guy.” I told Olaf, who nodded in agreement.

“So your one of a kind boyfriend over there pulled a little fast one on us. Well both him and Marty actually, I should’ve known to expect you lot when it comes to trouble.” Derek was listening intently to every word coming from this man like they were proverbs. “They sent over one of your comics and mixed it in with a bunch of new pitches we had yet to sort through. This man” Olaf jerked his thumb my way, “must have some real faith in your talent because it made it through screening after screening before it found its way to our producers. You could’ve just put it on my desk, you know.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” I countered, smiling. “I wanted his story to touch as many hands before yours, cause I knew it was just that good. And I knew you’d favor your staff telling you that, more than myself.”

That made Olaf laugh, before he slammed a hand down on my shoulder. “I don’t give you enough credit John. And that says a lot, cause I give you plenty as is.”

I smiled back at Olaf, before turning back to Derek. The look on Derek’s face was absolutely impossible to read, but it definitely wasn’t the excitement I thought it would be. I think he may have frozen up.m a bit.

“John…” he whispered, turning to me, “please tell me… you didn’t send the-”

Oh fuck .

“Oh no no no!” I rushed out quickly. “It’s the sherlock holmes one you’ve been working hard on. The other one is uh-” My hand went up to massage the back of my neck slightly, “that ones… that ones for my eyes only.”

Olaf looked at both Derek and myself questionably. “I don’t know what weird kinky shit yall got going over there, nor do I want to know. The story I’m interested in is that sherlock/jack the ripper piece. I want to get you acquainted with the team this coming Monday to see if you’d want to eventually join.”

My eyes never left Derek during this entire preposition, but he still just looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Nothing’s written in stone yet. And hey, if you decide it’s not for you, think of Monday as a free Onyx Headquarters tour. How does that sound?”

There was a slight puase before Derek said anything. Or rather, managed to say anything, and when he did, all we heard was a solid “Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Olaf clarified, his smile widening.

“Yeah.” Derek nodded again. I still couldn’t tell what he was thinking though, it looked like he was in a serious state of shock.

“Well bloody perfect then! Alright, I’ve got one hot date with my bed so, without furtherado,” Olaf reached into his pocket to pull out a familiar set of keys. “these are yours” he tossed them to me, “and all your personal belongings are there. I’ll see you two lovebirds Monday yeah? John will send you the information Derek.”

Olaf turned to leave, but before he could, he turned back to us.

“Oh and a special message from Don: he told me to tell you to go all the fucking way to hell .” Olaf paused a moment. “yeah no I think that was it. See ya!”

I gave him a wave, watching as he disappeared down the long main hall to the entrance doors.

Once I turned back to Derek, I was about ready to grab his hand and head straight for my car, but my body stilled when my eyes met his.

His glossy ones. Very glossy ones.

I could see him biting the insides of his cheeks hard, but I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t expecting-

Instead Derek did something I definitely wasn’t expecting. He grabbed my hand and led me away from the exit doors to a custodial room located a few feet to the right. I was feeling a bit of deja vu once he opened that door and shuffled us in. We’d done this a few times before.

Yet I couldn’t help but think: wasn’t this my move?

••

When they ask how many stories you got left in you lol. At least 21

54. My Office Won’t Have Any Of Those Stupid Rules

Only two chapters left after this!

Spoiler: they’re all smut (and some fluff!) lol

Peep the intro for my next piece of work down below

And maybe help me decide on a book cover, some options I made are down below as well

As always, enjoy lovelies!

xoxo

But real quick…

And I don’t give a fuck who this pisses off, all I’m finna say is this:

I hope Ms. Onika Tanya Maraj-Petty can fucking fight

cause she gon need some hands for if I ever see her— wasting my fucking time like that

And if you’re still a barb, y’all really need to go check on that lady, man

Your fav isn’t doing okay, like seriously I mean it health wise. Idk

who

got in that studio for that weak ass response, but that was not the Up In Flames and Highschool Nicki I know

Y’all barbs swear you love that lady but I don’t believe that shit for a minute

Encouraging her to crash the fuck out like this isn’t love

Watching this lady tweet for legit 72 hours STRAIGHT, isn’t love

I said what I said

And I don’t think that lady likes any of y’all barbs either if I’m being fucking honest

To the mfs doxing hoes, I got a two piece with a side glizzy right here waiting on you.

And any artist that would let their fans do some

insanely

dangerous shit like that, absolutely doesn’t give a shit about them

That’s it, that’s all

I’d pull up on you and beat your motherfucking ass my motherfucking self before I tell or condoned even ONE of you to do something that fucking deranged 

xoxo

Derek

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/ed295b5451722fe4c6e9e73b5557379724b8ca47/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f45746e52696f4e4669586a7338773d3d2d313431373632363239392e313761663238383266393332346136653235323533373932333735332e6a7067)

I practically dragged John into that closet. I hadn’t meant to, but I was not about to shed a single tear in this precinct entryway full of cops.

They needed to know that I was walking out of here with my head held high, and a fiery spirit courageous to do these crimes all over again.

Otherwise what was the point of getting an audience while being released, unless I actively choose to rub salt in the wounds on your way out.

Well the person who absolutely fucked those head held high plans over, was none other than John Terry.

“Derek?” John spoke, his voice more comforting than I expected, especially after rushing us in here. “What’s wrong?”

I leant back against the cold stone brick wall, immediately regretting my decision to pull us into this small room in the first place. It was John who found the overhead light and turned it on so we weren’t standing here in complete and total darkness.

“I-.” I first spoke, but I wasn’t looking in a John’s direction. Instead I was staring off past him, trying to think of any funny meme right now that would stop this stinging sensation in my eyes from going any further. Like tears, for example. “You just-”

Was my lip starting to quiver? Stop that, Derek. I mean, of all the places to cry in this prison hell scape, this room would’ve been a better option. I just didn’t want to cry in front of John.

“You didn’t… you…”

Wow. Words were truly just rolling off the tongue today.

“That’s probably… no, that has to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

There we go, Derek. Not too hard, huh?

I felt John’s gentle fingers on my chin before he tipped my head back up towards him. The overhead light was a shitty white fluorescent bulb, but John’s larger frame easily blocked it.

I wanted to refuse him.

Right now my body was one insane emotional wreck unsure of which high or low I was supposed to be riding out, and unsure of whether John’s next words would make me smile or burst into fucking tears.

“Oh?” he asked as his fingers delicately started tracing the outline of my jawline.

Alright well now I didn’t know whether the next thing John would say would make me laugh, cry, or strip him naked. I was trying so hard not to get caught up in the look John was giving me, but when he pushed us back against the wall behind me, laughing and crying were quickly taking a back seat.

His hands reached out on either side of my head, flipping my suit jacket back over his shoulder before placing both hands on the cement bricks past me. Imagine my surprise when instead of connecting his lips to mine, John slowly bent down and instead rested his chin on my shoulder. Then he softly rested his forehead against the wall right behind me.

I mean… that definitely wasn’t what I was expecting.

With John’s height, it felt like my body was being swallowed by his whole, yet I liked it. His warmth was like a blanket as he hovered slightly over me, and his scent made my body relax. “I’m sorry,” I heard him whisper, sending shivers down my spine with how close his lips were to my left ear.

It was yet another thing I wasn’t expecting tonight. That apology. John really didn’t have much of anything to apologize for because Pierre was his own person.

I mean, not much of one , but a person nonetheless so I’ve been told. With a human heart and everything… so I’ve been told.

“Don’t apologize.” I replied quietly. “After all, I did kinda land us in jail.”

John slowly shook his head, so much so that I could feel his chin massaging the spot where my shoulder met the beginning curves of my neck. “No.” He told me. “Pierre landed us in jail.”

I smiled back at him, forcing myself to do whenever it took to make this guy realize that any more apologies and I wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“I am perfectly okay with choosing to blame that man for just about everything.”

That made John chuckle, sending more shivers from the nape of my neck straight down my back.

“Does this mean you’ll check out Onyx?”

My hands reached up, gently bunching some of John’s black shirt to pull him a little closer. He had to keep some space considering our difference in height, and his insistence on keeping his chin rested on my shoulder.

“Absolutely yes. I just hope I didn’t look like an idiot when Olaf asked.” Another light chuckle slipped past John’s lips. He softly kissed my lobe, forcing my eyes closed a moment.

“ Good .“ That word was a whisper. “There’s something else you should probably also know.” He placed another light kiss on my lobe and now I was starting to fight real fucking hard to focus on his words. He was saying words, right?

John’s tongue lightly flicked against the curve of my ear and my grip on his shirt tightened. At first I thought I should probably spare the material from creasing… but then I remembered that we just spent about four hours in a holding cell.

I doubted John gave a fuck.

I could barely remember my own name I was so tired.

“What’s that?” I asked, my voice a lot rougher than intended. John was going to have to stop this teasing soon, cause I might’ve been crazy, but I wasn’t fool around at a precinct crazy. Even I had my limits.

“I’ve been thinking of moving here.”

It took a minute to process that because John refused to stop his slow assault on my ear, but once his words registered, I felt my eyes widen.

“Y-You… you are?” I asked him. I felt him nod against me.

“Yeah, Don’s been locking down some final choices for office spaces. I’ll be relocating some employees, really depending on if they want to- I’m not going to force anyone,” he gently rubbed his chin against me again. “Then I’ll start the hiring process here. It’ll be a small team considering I’ll still be flying back to New York a few times a month. I don’t feel like moving our Headquarters.”

I knew I had heard John right, and yet my body was still in various stages of shock. My heartbeat had picked up when I realized that John would be here more… but then I felt my smile faltered when I realized something else too.

“You won’t be working from Ivanov Corp then?”

“No,” John chuckled. “You’ll miss me?”

“Maybe.” I mumbled, thanking the good lord that John’s face was now tucked into my shoulder and not staring back at me. I knew I was getting flushed.

“I’ll still be around. We’re still in the fairly early stages of our partnership with Ivanov Corp. Christian, Alex, Brad, and myself have weekly meetings set on our schedule for the coming months, which will more than likely rotate between their office space and mine.”

I lightly nodded, grateful that John had kept his tongue to himself a moment so I could actually focus on what he was saying.

“You’ll be welcome at my office anytime. Whenever you’d like to get away from the Ivanov’s, or avoid responsibilities for a little while, I want you to come over.” He gently nestled his face further into my neck, his nose massaging the delicate spot.

I was back to the heavier breathing already.

“Plus , my office won’t have any of those stupid rules… “

And that right there— those words and the way he had said them, almost made my breathing cease completely. My mind was working overtime to hammer the dirty thoughts back down to the pits of hell from which they sprung from.

“I know it’s kind of weird to say,” he mumbled against my sensitive skin. I gripped his shirt even tighter. Precinct precinct precinct … “But I don’t want you and work to mix. I know Alex and Christian have an interesting relationship going for them… but I’m not them… I mean, I’m not like them. And I don’t think I want us to be.”

I didn’t think my grip could go any tighter on this man’s shirt, but by god I still tried. It felt like there was no amount of closeness to John that could feel close enough right now. I wanted to pull this shirt off completely, but I forced myself to remember where we were. So I chose words instead of actions.

“Me too,” I spoke honestly to John.

I could feel him smile against me. “Good. Cause even though I want to see you every second of every day, I want most to be that person you tell about the long days once they’re over. It just so happens I’ve needed an assistant for a while now, and in the beginning I wanted to ask you just so I had a reason to see you more.”

That confession made my body feel like I had been wandering through a desert for the last 40 days.

“But then I got to see you more anyways. Organically . And I realized I loved seeing you when you were doing the things you love. Work doesn’t make that list of things for you.”

“Work didn’t even make it to the try-outs.” I spoke a bit too freely, but that made John laugh. I could feel it against my neck, forcing a smile from me.

He smelt so goddamn good…

“Exactly. It’s not that I want to ignore your work life. It’s just that I’m far too possessive of you that honestly, I don’t want you to work another day again. Keeping my distance keeps me from imposing on your life to that extent.”

I felt my smile widen a bit. “You got me a shot at maybe making something I love doing, an actual job. I-… I’m not sure I can describe how much that means to me.”

John placed a few soft kisses on my neck. “Well if I have to tolerate you working, I much rather have you happier doing it.”

There was no way I was actually starting to justify getting a little freaky in this damn precinct closet right now. Derek, pull it the fuck together.

I could barely hear my own voice of reason over my heartbeat picking up the pace.

“T-Thank you.” I more or less whispered, to which John gave my neck a few more kisses. On the last, I felt his teeth graze against the skin. If I gripped this shirt any tighter, I was going to rip it off him.

No wait, that might’ve been the goal here.

“Of course. I’d do anything for you.” John’s kisses were getting a little lower. Dangerously lower. “Which is what makes this next thing I’m about to say oh so fucking hard .”

His words made my brows furrow slightly. “What do you mean?”

John sighed against my skin, his warm breath sending another shiver through me. “Well, during the process of getting our bail sorted with Don, we were forced to do a little clean up with your public record.”

That made my body still completely.

Well.

That couldn’t be good.

“And Derek?”

…

Did he heard my heartbeat stop just then?

I sure as fuck just felt it. “ Hmm? “ I more or less murmured. You could already hear the defeat in my voice.

“You were bailed from jail just months ago…” John’s teeth scraped against my now wildly sensitive skin a little harder, forcing my head back against the wall before this gorgeous man added “How the actual complete

fuck

have you racked up twenty-six parking tickets since then?“

••

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/19826e7693233cd61c5140111f84684827ae33bf/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f7a412d455552623432794d4833413d3d2d313431373632363239392e313761663263323661313432333539313532303934353234323532362e6a7067)

—

Introducing

The Pirate King

**Coming soon :)

The people of Azultia have been at war for close to a decade now. With the once ruling royal family since disbanded, chaos has fallen upon all aspects of living. To the people on land, the merchants, the workers, this chaos has brought upon a life of complete discourse.

Food is not promised.

Work even less so.

This great amount of uncertainty has made life in Azultia a harsh, difficult feat.

And yet, there is one that stands to benefit from this.

One who has already.

Land is stable. Secure. The people who call it—

make

it home, grow accustomed to that security. When something strikes the ground, uprooting the foundation from its very core, those people crumble amidst the chaos that inevitably will ensue.

But the sea?

It’s not something that can be made.

A man who chooses the sea, chooses chaos in its entirety.

And there was only one man brave enough to attempt to control chaos at that magnitude.

Only one man insane enough to even try.

And they call him The Pirate King

••

When Alistair Melek gave his life to the sea, a various degree of things changed. For starters, his love for bloodshed was exemplified. Bolder. He was drawn to the clash of a sword like a moth to a flame.

And this love was damned to spread through his crew like some treacherous disease, claiming any who joined.

But he knew this was the price he’d pay.

The price for the sea itself.

So when his crew completes another standard loot and pillage from a merchant ship, he allows his men a bit of fun. He liked to give them an audience, rounding up those who didn’t fall victim to the blade during battle, and forcing them to beg for their lives.

To prove how much they

really

wanted to live.

He had ruled the sea for some years now. Killed thousands, maybe tens of thousands. Destroyed hundreds, maybe

thousands

of vessels.

And yet, each feeble human was all the same.

There was not one man he threatened that didn’t beg for their lives with all they had in them when faced with the wrong end of the sword.

Each feeble human was all the same.

Or so he thought.

And yet, he also thought that this would be one standard job. A treat for his men.

But this particular survivor, the one with long white hair and dead looking eyes. He wasn’t a merchant.

He couldn’t have been.

More important, there was no hesitancy when Alistair asked the fairly built man whether he wanted to live, and the man replied with a simple

no

.

••

Essentially it’s a story about a pirate who takes on a captured merchant as his slave, deciding that for a man who wants nothing but death, there’s no worser punishment than to be forced to live. Only issue is the merchant is literally doing everything in his power to get himself killed. Oh and he doesn’t know the first thing about sailing. Chaos, Strife, and Love ensue as Alistair works to figure out both who this man is, and why he wants to die.

Whatchya guys think?? I’m so fucking excited for this one!! Just so you know you’re in good hands, Pirates Of The Caribbean is deadass my most favourite franchise of all time (I’ll defend her till the end so keep it cute in the comments (Like I got two tattoos from these movies and know the entire third movie soundtrack on the piano)).

It’s going to be really graphic guys just fyi. Like I don’t want to spoil anything but expect one very bloody, very badass pirate novel. Lots and lots of fighting, and it is a fantasy so there will be some magical elements. ~ Now, let’s do a lil poll if you beautiful readers will entertain me a moment. Which cover is your fav??

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/e4e8faf959618de5805b83433d56fe52022752fb/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f53346f703275596e464a594667673d3d2d313431373632363239392e313761656462343935323866626466393437363932343131313630342e6a7067)

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/f85f3a958bc49a9a58f21c214ae9d75d1a11c853/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f61315231357151307258663950413d3d2d313431373632363239392e313761663264386566663865386533323837383032323633333138362e6a7067)

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/1070776c539c7fce3884461fbf516df5c439a10d/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f4748766373664a46324e4c6477673d3d2d313431373632363239392e313761663264393332346138373335663634313235333733313130392e6a7067)

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/63c6bcdd4560a0f4129a7bedef95e79acc47eeb4/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f3078504a544b59346765727355673d3d2d313431373632363239392e313761663238376165633130626330323234373534313635383637322e6a7067)

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/9da4dcd496ac2de5f1372b2e564e50616fa30fc3/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f652d46424c695a486f356f5449673d3d2d313431373632363239392e313761663238376436633763666666633238393733383039393639352e6a7067)

As always, thanks so much lovelies!!

55. Not In Front Of The Kids

Good news… there may be two more chapters lol. This was too cute

a chapter

not to make longer

,

so whatever

sue me

Will be doing a second pass in like an hour so you early folks get this chapter raw

Enjoy, lovelies!

xoxo

John

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/e6a47de67d28202971893b6531f9bae0d6d933ae/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f2d7a546f30636d307733455768673d3d2d313432303530343332362e313762316532383461393061636161323734303936343931383839382e6a7067)

Derek did his best to explain this whole twenty-six tickets debacle while I drove us home.

I’d argue that twenty-six tickets warranted no additional explanation cause I mean at that point… you must do some time right?

Well of course my gorgeous passenger prince was able to still convince me of his innocence by the time we reached our home. This man had to be the devil reincarnate.

“So you see.” He continued, “who’s really in the wrong here? Me or that pho place having shit ass parking in downtown?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, unlocking the car doors for us before I followed him up the driveway towards the front door.

“Definitely the pho place.” I nodded. “Call me when you go next, I’ll wait in the car for us.”

Derek turned back at that, smiling a goofy wide smile at that. It gave me a little more energy… Like I could at least muster up some for a little kissing and cuddling.

Derek stepped aside to let me unlock the door, but I just gestured to the thumb pad for him to. It was now the one fingerprint besides Christian and Brad’s that gave him access to every part of my home. This was equivalent to giving him a master key, and I wanted him to abuse the absolute hell out of it.

Herold was the first to assault us, completely ignoring his advice to rest once he heard Derek’s laughter fill our home.

“Down boy!” I ordered strictly, forcing him to stop climbing Derek like he usually did. The look he gave me once his feet hit the floor again told me that if he wasn’t plotting on my downfall already, he was now.

“He’s healing so well!” Derek gushed, setting our stuff we gathered from the precinct neatly on my coffee table before heading back to Herold again.

“Yeah I’ve been cooped up here all week keeping him alive. And I mean that. He got a random burst of ‘what is life even worth anymore’ which forced me near his side for the majority of the week. Herold has both the stubbornness and willpower to hold his breath until he dies, so I couldn’t take any chances.”

Derek’s laughter only grew, but I was dead serious. One of the days during his healing period, Herold was so moody he even declined tuna. That’s when I decided we were going to have to have a conversation about this, and that conversation resulted in me sleeping next to his cot since he couldn’t jump up into my bed just yet.

Yeah I slept on the fucking floor for that cat. My spinal alignment will never be the same again.

“You’re a good cat dad.” Derek spoke, looking back at me a moment as he crouched down next to Herold.

I wanted to hate this moody little fucker, but Derek made it impossible to. He was just…

So I found myself crouching down besides him, joining in on the pets. Our suits were already a mess at this point do it didn’t matter what we did in them anymore.

I turned to look at Derek when I said “you bring out the best cat dad in me.”

Derek turned to me with all seriousness, a look he rarely ever had when he said “Herold loves you too much for that to be true.” Then he tilted his head some with a grin to add “you’re the father that stepped up right?”

I looked at him a moment, allowing his words to seep through my sleep deprivation. He was seriously just so…

Words didn’t figure themselves out. Maybe I had none , I decided, before pushing Derek onto his back a bit abruptly, and lowering myself over him.

“John?” Derek questioned, clearly taken back by my sudden movements. I was kneeling above him, both my legs on either side of him, and I didn’t wait for another word before I dropped lower to kiss him. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation fucking with me, but my insane need to have Derek as close to me as possible was clouding the rest of my judgement. Really any judgement— we were home now anyways, right?

Even though Derek didn’t suspect the tackle, he wasn’t hesitant with the kiss. I felt his hands tangle into my hair immediately which I’m sure he was happy he could do now that the event was over and we were home.

And I happily allowed it, tasting the the dry champagne he had been drinking tonight on his lips, the same champagne that I was. We both went for the most expensive stuff, because that’s how you drink booze not on your dime and I was glad Derek understood.

I also smelt the deep richness of the red wine that stained his clothes, but I didn’t care. God there wasn’t much I could care about right now besides the people in this home.

I felt each bit of him, my one hand starting at his neck to tilt him up further to me. I wanted more access to him- every part of him. I felt him shudder against me when that hand dipped down to his exposed neck. Fuck, no tie was such a good idea.

“J-John-” Derek tried to get out, probably feeling more of my sense of urgency when my fingers- who had a complete mind of their own might I add- started undoing his dress shirt buttons. I needed this wine stained shirt off pronto. “J-John- wait, hold on-” I felt Derek gently push me back a little, drawing my eyes to his again.

I felt him lean up to gently brush the bridge of his nose against mine, and that shit almost sent me spiraling all over again.

He leant back down. “I want to, it’s just…” Derek pointed over, and my eyes followed his direction. There, perched in his cot just staring at us, was Herold. “Not in front of the kids, right?”

A chuckle escaped my lips before I could stop it. “No,” I said tuning back to Derek who was still sprawled out on my living room floor underneath me. His shirt was more than half buttoned now, revealing too much skin for me not to touch. “Bedroom then?” I more or less whispered to him. The way his eyes were looking at me made me think that Herold would understand, but I forced myself to comply.

“I uh should probably shower first.” Derek gestured to the stained shirt I was absolutely willing to discard right now.

“No,” I shook my head, “trust me when I say that right now I couldn’t care less.”

Derek’ cheeks grew redder, but he remained quiet a moment. With me above him like this, there wasn’t much else where he could look to, but I’m glad he didn’t decide to try. I liked his eyes on mine like this… every so often dipping to my lips, or my exposed neck… down to my chest-

“Hypothetically speaking,” Derek started, luring me in more. “Say I’d want to- we’ll say I’d want to go further tonight… like I mean further than we have gone, what um- what exactly would I need to do? Like I mean…” Derek trailed off again. I was watching every mannerism on his face instinctively.

“Like… if you want to go further… or like-” my voice froze a second, forcing me to calm down. I had meant for this to sound tender, but my voice was coarse and my pants were growing tighter with every word Derek had spoken. I cleared my throat again, adjusting the weight on the now both hands holding me up above Derek. “Or like, all the way?”

I could see Derek’s gears working. He curled his lip in, temporarily forcing my attention there. Fuck . I had half the mind to tell him that Herold could handle it, but I didn’t. Not in front of the kids .

“I… think so?” He offered me finally. I was proud that he didn’t look away when asking. Especially for this. “If it’s- we’ll if I’m not- like once we-”

“ Derek ,“ I whispered gently, cutting him off. This time I let one of my hands shift from holding me up, to his chin again. “If at any point at any time during anything you want to stop, we stop.”

I saw some serious relief flash across his face.

“This lifestyle… yes, it does bring me pleasure. But what brings real pleasure is knowing that the roughness is something my partner wants. It’s the consent of the relationship that turns me on the most. The only pain I want to cause you should be intentional and something you not only want but ask for.”

Derek curled his lip in again, sinking his teeth in harder. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking until I ran my finger further down his chin to his neck and I watched as his lids fluttered closed a moment.

A small smile graced my lips.

“Is that okay?” I whispered lower, a little coyly. Derek shook his head gingerly, forcing his eyes to slowly open again. God, they were beautiful . “Good,” I nodded, before pushing myself off the shorter man. “Then let’s go.”

I looked down, not managing to shake the smile as I offered Derek my hand. He slowly sat up off the floor, and I swear my heart packed her shit up and left when he slipped his hand into mine with a smile of his own.

I waited outside the bathroom patiently for Derek.

I insisted I really didn’t mind helping.

He insisted not even god himself could step foot into the room with what he was about to do. That made me laugh because the act of douching was fairly common for men and women. It was also pretty simple for the most part. I told Derek he didn’t have to be he insisted he wanted to.

So here we were.

The fact that we had got this far was probably a lot for Derek, which meant I decided not to push it. Instead, I showed him where the new kit was, and started explaining the directions from outside the door.

It was kind of cute. How this man couldn’t read directions to save his life. It was a fairly quick process but it felt like I was outside this bathroom for hours. Once I heard the shower, I knew we were well on our way now.

That still didn’t stop how taken back I was when the bathroom door finally flew open and I almost fell back through it. Had I dozed off against it? Potentially.

“Oh!” Derek caught me, or at least sort of tried. I mostly caught myself otherwise I would’ve easily taken us both down. “You waited right outside this whole time?”

I turned around to face him, momentarily forgetting what he asked me because he was in nothing but a towel.  His dirty clothes were folded neatly on the sink which I found adorable, along with the twist knot he used to tighten my very large towel around his very slim frame.

“Of course I did.” I spoke finally, recalling words once again.

Derek gave me smile. “You really didn’t have to. I swear I had the whole thing under control.”

That made my eyebrows raise. Says the man who couldn’t even get the packaging off.

“You should know that there are very very few things I do with you, where I feel like I have to.”

That made Derek’s face grow redder. Or maybe it was the steam of the shower that already had him somewhat flushed.

“Thank you,” He said, “and I feel-”

“Except for the twenty-six parking tickets I just paid off to get you out of jail.”

Derek nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, no that checks out. And I promise you I will absolutely pay you back.”

I crossed my arms over my chest a moment, hating the feeling of this now worn out dress shirt across my arms as I looked down at Derek. “You can pay be back. However, I will only accept payments in comic books. That you’ve written. Of me.”

Derek huffed, breaking eye contact with me suddenly to look away. “I told you it’s not about you.”

“But he has my eyes.”

“A lot of people have your eyes.”

“Oh do they?”

Derek glanced at me, his face for sure heating up now. “No.” He mumbled.

“See, then it’s about me.”

I could see Derek force himself to keep his face straight. “So you have been living a double life as a NYC Detective then?”

I shrugged, grinning now. Who’s to say. How much digging up on me did you do right after Hawaii?“

Derek’s face went beet red. “Come on,” he said, turning swiftly before he grabbed my hand. “Weren’t we gunna have sex or something?” He grumbled, pulling me towards my room. I was chuckling now, giving no resistance to this man.

“Hey, you said you wanted to pay me back!” I told Derek, watching his back profile as he walked in front of me, giving myself a perfect view of his toned figure. He was still dripping wet, most likely from how wet the back of his hair was.

“I’m sure you can afford it.” He replied, not daring to turn to me until we were down the corridor and into my room.

“Oh, did you not say you would absolutely pay me back? I think I heard the word promise there too.”

Derek finally turned to look at me. I loved the warm lighting in my room, it was well lit enough to see the droplets falling from each chaotic strand of Derek’s hair, and I fucking loved it.

It looked like he was thinking about it a second, before he finally said “You get 10 issues total.”

My grin widened. “No take backs?”

Derek sat with himself a moment, then sighed. “No take backs.”

“Beautiful, because I would’ve accepted one.” Derek’s eyes widened, but before he could protest I reminded him “no take backs.”

He let out a little “hmph”

“Now turn around.”

That demand made Derek’s brows creased. “Hmm?” He asked.

“Turn.” I said, signally with my finger for him to face my bed. He was still looking at me like maybe the sleep had finally caught up to me, but he did as he was told. I turned into my closet on our left to grab a fresh towel before returning to Derek. “The back of your head is still wet.”

Standing behind him now and bunching up the towel up, I brought it to his curls, working with the pattern as the material gently tried up what was left.

When I was finishing up, I moved my head down a little closer to Derek’s ear. “The pillow would’ve gotten soaking wet with the position I want you in tonight.” Derek’s body shook slightly from the close proximity, and I felt him lean just a smidge further into me. That’s when I let the towel fall somewhere to the ground.

His hair smelt good.

I loved when he used my stuff, it mixed so well with his scent that I couldn’t help getting a little closer to him.

“Oh?” Derek asked. “And what um… what position would that be?”

“Well,” I murmured, nuzzling my nose into the crook of his neck now. I wasn’t sure how I got here but his soft warm skin felt incredible. I could feel his heart beat, how fast it was pounding. His body practically melted into my touch at that. I felt the towel around Derek’s waist finally give in, and Derek tried to reach for it but I held his hands still instead. “ To wake myself up a little, I think we might need to start with some discipline. “ I heard a soft inhale. Derek’s damp hands were a bit shaky, but they slowly brought mine to his chest, letting me touch him.

There were no words to describe how much I wanted him right here right now. I know he felt it, and me, when he leant further into me. I couldn’t stop myself from how turned on he made me, letting him slowly guide my hands across his chest and a little lower.

“ Then after that, “ I added, whispering against his neck. Every bit of him was so goddamn intoxicating, and that coupled with the fact that it was almost five in the morning, made restraining myself almost impossible. “ After that I will be as gentle as you want me to be. As gentle as you like it. “

Derek’s heart was racing, I could feel him against me, every part of him, and that insane beat was starting to match my own.

“Now,” my hands gently let go of his. “Get on the bed.”

••

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/d84061a6d3bb2db010c689d97c7b855b430fe67b/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f52326958467247334e497a5772413d3d2d313432303530343332362e313762316466646230616332323439613139343331383435353732372e6a7067)

56. Punishment

3300 words of pure smut. You are, indeed, welcome lol

Enjoy, lovelies! Now I’m off to smoke a cig cause gahdayum

(Don’t smoke cigs though kids, do as I say and not as I do)

Enjoy, lovelies!!

xoxo

Warning: Explicit Content ;)

John

I watched as Derek climbed onto my bed. If he wasn’t completely naked right now, sleep cuddled up with him would’ve sounded absolutely fantastic. It still sounded great, but I just imagined how much better it would be after Derek and I worked up a real appetite for it.

I approached him where he was on his usual side of the bed which was the left side, but diverted from him slightly to bend down and grab a few things from my bedside table drawer.

“Whatchya getting?” I heard Derek ask as he got situated and comfortable above the fluffed duvet. He was a bit nervous, I could tell from his voice, but I heard a bit of curiosity there as well. “Like lube or something? Like to help with…”

My eyes caught his when I turned my head to him. “I told you our first time would be gentle,” that was when I reached back into my bedside table to grab the rest of what I needed, “but I also promised a little excitement before then.”

Derek’s eyes shifted to what I was now holding. It was a pair of restraints, sort of like two handcuffs but the part that wrapped around your wrists were soft leather instead of metal. Much more comfortable for play… especially with what I had in mind.

“Oh.” I heard Derek say, before he slowly nodded. Even more curiosity flooded his face. My eyes cast further down Derek’s body, watching as his cock twitched slightly at that, to which Derek immediately tried to cover it up by raising the leg closest to me. I’d grabbed pretty much everything I needed from the drawer anyways, so when I straightened myself up, I got a perfect view of Derek in his entirety— that modest leg didn’t nothing.

And fucking

hell , man. He was so goddamn perfect.

“So they’re like handcuffs?” He asked.

“A bit,” I nodded. “More comfortable. Just something to keep your hands out of my way.”

Derek’s eyes widened slightly.

“Do you remember the safe word?”

He nodded. “ Pineapple .“

The way he said it was so fucking adorable, I had to stop myself from chuckling. I settled on a smile instead.

“Good. And remember, like I said, whenever you don’t like something, you want to stop, you don’t want to do this anymore, et cetera et cetera… just tell me. I am not some horned up teenager with no self control and whatever stupid lesson that’s been taught about the very infamous blue balls, I’d like you to forget completely. Just because you agreed to certain things earlier doesn’t mean I’m entitled to anything then or now, especially with something like this.”

I finally took a breath after delivering that lengthy but much needed dialogue. I was surprised by how intently Derek was listening before he nodded.

“ Understood? “ I reiterated, reminding Derek that a nod wouldn’t suffice.

“Yes.” He replied, which coerced another smile from me.

“Good,” I nodded again before kneeling onto the mattress besides him. First I wrapped the open strapped leather material around Derek’s left wrist, before securing it tightly with the strong Velcro at the end. “This too tight?” I asked Derek who was watching me intently.

“No,” he shook his head lightly, forcing more of those slightly damp curls to spread across the pillow case. “It feels good.” He added

It was like everything this man did had some unmatched sex appeal, and I think what I loved most about it was how oblivious he was to it all. And I mean all of it.

Like how completely oblivious Derek was to how badly I wanted to kiss those lips whenever he curled them in, and bit down with zero mercy. Or how he’d get within two inches of a screen to read something, telling me he must live to see another day where he didn’t have to wear glasses.

I told him that at the rate he was going, he might not live to see anything at all ever again.

This man was just something else. My something else.

My hand gently reached for his forearm before bringing his right wrist up over his head to my headboard. There were small hooks custom drilled across the top of the wood, barely noticeable unless you knew what you were looking for. I clipped the lock on one end of the restraints to the hook closest to Derek’s side, then asked again if he was comfortable.

Derek probably thought all these questions were useless, but he’d see soon enough that this was for his own good.

Once I had both of Derek’s hands retrained above his head with some distance between each other, I climbed off the bed. My hands reached for the first thing I had set on the table itself before rummaging for the restraints, then slipped it into my front dress pant pocket.

Derek hadn’t noticed, he was too busy testing out the strength of the restraints.

Considering those hooks were drilled in with two inch long nails, it was safe to say Derek wouldn’t be freeing himself anytime soon. I also liked that the restrains were connected by a thick black fabric-covered chord instead of chain link. I didn’t want the chains to overpower the sounds from Derek tonight.

Derek smiled up at me when I finally climbed onto the bed. I knelt over him, my knees on both sides of his thighs before I drop down to give him a more tender kiss. One that should’ve forced my heart rate to slow a bit, but did the exact fucking opposite when I felt a satisfied moan escape Derek’s soft lips.

That was when I forced myself to pull away, but this time my lips started one devilish trail from his cheeks, to his jawline, then slowly down to his neck.

Derek let out one laboured shaky breath, pulling on the restraints before he remembered they were there. And very fucking secure. I wanted his hands on me, but for what I was about to do, he needed just a few of those liberties restricted.

My kiss followed the delicate skin of his neck, drowning in his rich scent mixed with my fresh body wash and shampoo, all blending together with my clean sheets. His hands pulled on those restraints again, moaning a bit louder and less conservatively once my teeth grazed down his neck to his collarbone.

“ S-Shit, John… “ those words spilled out in a whisper, but my ears caught them loud and clear.

I wanted to spend hours here. Just slowly working my way down his unbelievably beautiful body, but we’d be hearing birds chirp soon and lord knows there was still a long way to go.

I kissed down his chest, taking a moment to give each of his now hard nipples the devoted attention they deserved. Derek was already unraveling underneath me but he tried to stay still.

I knew he was trying, because the only time his eyes looked away from me was when they closed a moment in an effort for him to collect himself. It was unfortunate, him putting all that work in. And he’d see why soon enough.

As I kissed, nipped, and licked even lower, inching myself closer to the edge of my bed, I could feel Derek’s cock against me. When his tip rubbed against my chin, I felt his precum coat it.

I was between Derek’s legs now, staring up at the man who’s breathing made his chest rise and fall a bit more sporadically. His lids were lower, maybe half slits as he watched me. He had been this entire time, watching me inch my way down his body, and fuck I loved how he didn’t look away. How he didn’t want to, even as more moans slipped past those now swollen lips.

When I finally moved down further, bringing his hard leaking tip into both our view, Derek’s breathing hitched. It was like he went from catching his breath, to not breathing at all.

There was a look in his eyes, something I hadn’t necessarily seen before, or rather this prominently. They were beyond dark with desire, and I mean Derek was looking at me with something that almost told me to skip the foreplay entirely.

Almost .

My tongue slid out to lick Derek from his base to his tip, and Derek’s eyes shut hard at that. His hips buckled, but my arms slid under each of Derek’s thighs before my hands wrapped around and placed them both firmly on Derek’s stomach.

I could feel it now, the slight shake in his legs when they rested comfortably on my shoulders.

My right hand moved back, but it kept Derek’s leg on its shoulder as I reached into my pocket to pull out what I slipped inside there moments ago. Derek watched me return my hand but this time it reached around to grab his cock.

“W-What’s- what’s that?” I heard him ask as he took these moments of calm to get more of his breathing under control.

“This,” I started, stopping myself a moment in hopes of dialing back some of the now intense arousal in my voice. It was safe to say that my own cock was so beyond fucking hard, these pants felt like a torture device. “This is a cock ring.” I stretched the rubber material out between my fingers before I slowly glided it onto Derek.

He looked like he was going to say something, but as soon as I touched him again, that response must’ve went out the window entirely. Instead he just watched, curling that lip in again with unreal intensity.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Derek probably expected me to take him in my mouth again once the ring was securely on his base, but I didn’t. Instead I inched myself just slightly further down before I could comfortably raise Derek’s lower half up a little higher. When his ass spread further at that, my tongue slip out to moisten my lips.

Derek was just… I was running out of words that were already doing this man very little justice.

I had been worried about his resolve, yet this whole time I really should’ve been worried about mine.

“Are y-” Derek started, before he let out one unexpected cry. I had buried myself between his ass, my tongue finding his entrance easily from this position, and Derek’s back arched immediately off the bed.

“Oh!” He let out breathlessly, “I-I- oh my god -”

My tongue prodded his entrance lightly at first, feeling every nerve of his lower body practically jolt to life at the sensation. It was incredible.

“Oh- Oh my god- John- “

I hadn’t even noticed my eyes had drifted closed a moment, just enjoying every single filthy unadulterated moan that was started to get past Derek with absolutely no second thought on his part. The hard tug he gave those restraints was felt throughout his entire body, but it did nothing.

“I-” his breathing got even heavier. When my hand gave his cock a quick stroke while my tongue pushed forward a bit more forcefully, I heard him cry out again. “ Oh- fucking fuck, this- “ he cut himself off, or maybe I did by my tongue moving around more inside him. “It- it feels so good

• I can’t- I don’t think- “

When I finally looked up at him past his leaking tip, Derek’s face was beet fucking red all the way to the tips of his ears. Those once slightly hooded lids were shut wicked tight, but they slowly opened to find my gaze. Especially when my tongue slid out of him to lick up to his balls.

“I- I don’t think I’ll last -” Derek tried telling me through his strained voice, but my lips curled up into a slight smile.

“You’ll last as long as I tell you to . “

Derek’s head fell back into the pillow at that. I watched his cock twitch a bit uncontrollably now from my words, matching his short breathes.

Then I slid back down again, burying my face between his ass to find that entrance once more. My arms also held Derek’s thighs a bit tighter, feeling his shakes building with intensity against me.

“Please-” I heard Derek say, but I ignored it. Instead I pushed my tongue in again, taking as much care with him as I saw fit. It circled Derek’s tight hole, feeling each ridge when he unintentionally started to pulsate against me. “Please- please, John-” Derek tried to get out, but my thumb grazed his sticky tip, and all words faded away after that.

How long has it been since I touched him? I wondered, savoring each ‘please’ that fell past his lips like it was the last spoken word. How long since he touched himself? My sleep deprived brain couldn’t even tell me how long I had been having my way with him tonight. How long my lips had explored him.

Right now I wanted to test every limit Derek would let me.

Judging my how vocal he had gotten, my bet was that some limits were already being reached. “John… I can’t-” he started again, “I… I can’t cum- I can’t.”

I slid my tongue out, mumbling against him “I know.” Looks like someone was in fact new to the cock ring. Derek locked eyes with mine again when I pulled away more to look at him, but this time I leant forward and took his cock in my mouth completely. Without any warning.

“Oh- no wait- fuck -”

Though we’d started out strong with our words, right now all I could hear from this gorgeous man was the long series of curse words, my name, and many many please’s. I hadn’t bothered to go slow this time, instead I brought Derek’s cock right to the back of my throat. His hips went from buckling to full on spasming.

I looked back up at Derek, watching as his eyelids squeezed even tighter. I heard his voice break when he asked “please John, please- please -” he brought his bottom lip in again to bite down hard on.

My mouth made a little popping noise when his dick spring free from my lips. “ You want to cum, love? “ I asked, mumbling against his now taught leaking tip which forced Derek’s head back into the pillow tighter. His hands were balled up in a fist so tight I saw his knuckles start to turn white.

My eyes raked over every slightly faded mark I had ever left on his body, grinning as the new ones I made tonight joined them, before my gaze eventually found his again. He nodded hard into that pillow.

“Beg.” I murmured against him again. He let out one strangled moan, something rich, throaty, and oh so fucking hot it was criminal.

“ Please- please, John -“ his words were choppy against his laboured breathes.

“Please what? “ I asked, my tongue slipping out to lick off the fresh precum.

“Pl-Please John-” I heard him take a fresh inhale when my lips spread open around that tip. “ Please l-let me cum- please-“

I felt myself grin with him still in my mouth. Those words alone- the way he said them, they were almost enough to make me cum in my pants and I hadn’t even touched myself yet. I forced my heartbeat to slow a little, bracing itself for the main course.

And it came not even moments later. My hand wrapped itself around the base of Derek’s cock, giving him a few good hard strokes into my mouth before pulling the cock ring off. My lips found his tip again and Derek came immediately.

His cum flooded my mouth before I had time to process it, but I swallowed him quickly, giving a few long deep strokes with my lips as I milked him completely dry.

His legs felt like tambourines against my shoulders as he came, but I loved every single second of it. I just watched him ride out his orgasm, his eyes shut so fucking tight with his cock still in my mouth, but when I watched that first tear suddenly run down the side of his cheek, I pulled away from him completely.

“Oh shit -” I whispered under my breath, climbing off the bed to come around to Derek’s side. My hand reached down before I immediately turned his chin up to me. “Are you okay baby?”

Derek’s eyes very slowly opened, to which I noticed how glossed over they were now. My body stilled as I waited patiently for him to check in with me. He slowly nodded with his mouth still slightly parted from that orgasm. I noticed now, right next to him, just how hard he was breathing. And I mean hard . His body was still shaking too.

My fingers gently brushed some of his wet strands away from his glistening forehead, to give his forehead a kiss. Then I tipped my head down, rubbing the bridge of his nose with the tip of mine until my lips eventually found his.

He kissed me tenderly, and it made my heart do something unexpected. . It was the kind of kiss I wasn’t expecting. The kind of kiss you gave someone in front of the Eiffel Tower after they just proposed… and it did absolutely nothing good for my own heart rate.

I forced myself to pull away finally, deciding that this was definitely more than enough for one night as my hands got to unfastening the restraints. I wanted to hold him. When I examined each wrist, it made me happy to see that they weren’t badly bruised. The handcuffs would’ve cut into his skin within minutes, especially with the thrashing he was doing towards the end there. When he was close.

Once I got both restraints unfastened and unhooked, I leant forward where I was sitting off the side of my bed to set both back in the side table. I set the cock ring on the table itself for cleaning later but before I could even look back to Derek, something gently grabbed my forearm.

I couldn’t even tell you what happened next exactly.

One minute I was sitting on the edge of the bed next to Derek, cleaning things up so we could go to bed.

The next, Derek was naked in my lap straddling me.

“D-Derek-” I was taken off a bit when I looked at the man. When I caught his eyes in this warm bedroom lighting.

It was that look I saw earlier, that look of lust and desire, but this time it was even more intense. “Please,” he whispered, his face just inches from mine. I watched as both his hands shakily started to unfasten the rest of my shirt buttons.

“W-Wait- Derek, I think we should wai-”

His head leaned forward past mine until I felt his lips right against my ear. He whispered ever so quietly “I don’t want to wait.”

My hands grabbed at Derek’s bare hips now, unable to control nor determine just how hard that grab actually was. “Are you-” I started, practically forcing these words to push past my teeth and leave my fucking lips at this point. “Are you sure?”

I felt Derek nod against me before we whispered back a small “yes.”

Jesus Christ almighty.

And if that wasn’t enough for me to call on the good lord himself to calm my now almost raging arousal, this relentless man just had to add “ I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure of anything .“

Somehow these shirt buttons were getting undone. I wasn’t even sure when this was happening, until his cool hand touched my warm bare chest.

“ I want you, John Terry .“

••

My dads bday would’ve been tomorrow. Happy heavenly birthday, pops🩵

57. Reward

Here is the last chapter I’ve been avoiding uploading cause I didn’t want to say goodbye yet

Stay tuned for my usual emotional ass paragraph afterwards

And enjoy lovelies!!

Thank you for giving me such an amazing run with this series

I couldn’t be more grateful

I’ll be editing later, but for now…

Warning: Explicit Content ;)

Derek

I pushed the fabric of John’s smooth black dress shirt off his broad shoulders, and back onto the mattress behind us. I was forcing my still shaking hands to comply, promising them that those buttons were the last complicated thing they had to do.

At least I think, I had dived head first into this whole sex thing with John on some still pretty limited knowledge.

My body was on absolute fire right now from every place he touched, but I didn’t care. I just wanted this man in less fucking clothes. Actually, no clothes really, but I was willing to negotiate.

I could feel him through his pants now, he was pressed up against my naked body hard as his hands gripped my hips even harder. I felt the slight pain at my sides, but that just made my need for him grow. It excited me for what was coming next.

Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before . Or felt this strongly for someone before.

Was sex with him always like this? Would it always be?

John stopped fighting me and my needs tonight. I’d say he didn’t put up much of one when I slowly passed my fingers down his smooth, exposed toned abs. Instead, his grip on my body only tightened. Once my hands reached his crotch, my gaze met his again to ask for permission. John slowly nodded, giving me the okay to continue.

So I did. My fingers unclamped the button easily, before I zipped the crotch zipper down. His fabric was so tight, the zipper almost jammed, but eventually I got it undone. When my hands freed John, slipping his hard cock through the hole in his briefs, I heard him let out one low slightly shaky breath.

I was slowly stroking him now, feeling his cock against mine whenever I pulled it towards me. John leant forward to lean his head against my shoulder, clearly doing everything he could not to dig his fingers into my hips any deeper.

“Wait-” John spoke suddenly, his raspy voice causing my hand to still on him. He slowly released that death grip he had on me, but I could still feel his hands even if they weren’t there anymore.

Every touch from him lingered.

I felt a strong arm wrap itself around my back, holding me against John’s chest as he leant us forward. Instead, his free hand reached past us to his bedside drawer again, which made my already rampant heart rate drive itself off a fucking cliff.

He pulled out something that I didn’t catch until he adjusted us back onto the edge of the bed again.

“Is that lube?” I asked John, hearing the bottle cap open from where behind me. John slowly shook his head.

“Massage oil,” he explained. “It’s easier, especially because it’s your first time. I just- I don’t want to hurt you.”

This had to be the rawest I had ever heard John’s voice, but that kind and considerate tone never left him. It made more warmth spread through my already lit ablaze body.

I really didn’t think I deserved a man like John Terry, and yet… neither did the world really. He was harsh when he needed to be, and gentle when situations called for it. We were such opposites, and yet…

I hand unintentionally gripped John’s cock hard when I suddenly felt a warm liquid at my entrance. John was starting to slowly massage me there, causing me to bury my entire face into his neck a moment. It was the only thing I could think of to silence the noises I was making, but that just made John push two fingers deep inside me.

I had to stop myself from biting down on him.

“Derek, please-” John’s voice was beyond strained. “I’m working oh so fucking hard to be gentle. You can’t- you-”  my hand let go of John’s cock now, before I wrapped those same arms around his shoulders. I knew my countless moans into his neck weren’t helping anything, but that third digit sliding itself in made me forgot all about the restraint John was trying to show.

“ Please ,“ I moaned into his neck. I wasn’t sure how much I could take. How much my body could anyways, and I wanted to feel him before that happened. Before I reached my actual limit.

John must’ve picked up on that, because he slid all three fingers out of me moments later.

“I won’t be rough,” he warned me, “but if it’s still too much, I want you to use the safe word. I’ll stop immediately, okay?” I felt his hand gently massage the curve of my spine, before both his hands gripped my ass.

I gave him a nod, not bothering to move my head from his neck. That must’ve sufficed because I felt him lift and pull my lower half even closer to him with ease. I could feel his cock resting against my ass now in anticipation, but John picked up the bottle besides us and squirted more oil onto his hand, before pumping his cock a few times with it.

He really wasn’t taking any chances tonight.

And that just made me want him even more.

“I’m going to start slow,” he whispered to me. I nodded against him again, already desperately wanting him inside me, like yesterday. I wanted him so badly that if he slammed his cock into me right now, I’d just force my body to adjust. It was that bad.

But I know John didn’t want that. He didn’t want our first time like that, so I forced myself to be patient.

His cock at my entrance made my heartbeat speed up again, feeling the warm wet rod against my already throbbing self. I hadn’t known just how slow was John’s slow, but when he said slow by fucking god that man meant it.

It felt like an eternity before he finally got his tip inside me. He was big, and yes I had my reservations about how exactly he was supposed to fit that in me, but I also failed those shape puzzles as a kid and barely passed geometry so right now I didn’t fucking care. I just wanted more of him.

And it maybe wasn’t even about sex anymore. I’d deny it if anyone asked, but I had truly never felt more safe than I did in this exact moment. With him. It had taken me some time to realize it, but in this exact moment, I realized that this man didn’t expect a single fucking thing from me.

He’d created an environment where I felt comfortable to explore myself. My sexuality. Myself sexually. And by god fucking damn did that alone make every part of me want to beg.

“ John ,“ I whispered against his neck before pulling myself back a little to face him. I regretted it pretty much immediately because the look on John’s face made my toes fucking curl. His lids were low, his concentration almost fixated on controlling himself.

“Yes?” He practically croaked out, his eyes meeting mine.

“Please,” I murmured. It took literal brain power to remember I was even saying words when he looked at me like that. “Please don’t be so gentle. I can take more.”

John’s eyes drifted closed a second at that. I couldn’t tell whether I’d offended him, or poked a bear, but when I felt John push more of himself inside me with far less regard, I realized it was the latter.

My fingernails dug into John’s upper back unintentionally. The feeling- him, more of him inside me… I just- I didn’t even know how to explain it other than feeling full. Like that final jigsaw piece you snapped into place before completing a puzzle.

His grip on my hips was absolutely fucking mental, but I didn’t stop him. I knew that was part of him trying not to thrust in too hard. Instead, he was slowly sliding in and out of me, working on getting myself used to more of him.

And I, in return, was coming completely undone. I found myself burying my head back into his neck, unable to mask any moan that boldly slipped past my lips anymore. My hands started a death grip of their own, but on John’s back.

I felt him, I felt every fucking throb. Every twitch. Everything. And I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t starting to push me towards my edge.

He pushed even more of himself inside me, now about maybe half of him. When I felt myself adjust, I understood why John insisted on going slow. There was some discomfort, a bit of dull pain that shot through me, but John slowed immediately like he could feel it himself.

It was almost scary how this man seemed to know more about my own body than I did. He knew just where to touch. Just how to start. Just when to stop, or slow. My nails dug into him deeper, but I froze.

“S-Sorr-” I started, to which John cut me off.

“ Don’t stop. I love it. “

…

My heart wasn’t built for a man like John Terry, that was very clear. I tried to get a handle on the butterflies, mixed with the arousal, mixed with this complete whole feeling I was feeling with John inside me. He lowered even more of me onto him, but this time he was slow again. It was actually me who found myself taking more of him in. He was almost buried inside me, but when I sat down more, I felt him hit something I absolutely wasn’t ready for.

The way my arms suddenly locked around him made John lightly kiss my shoulder. “Was that the spot?” He asked. I nodded into his neck like I knew what spot he was talking about.

Cause I definitely didn’t.

But that had to be it.

My legs were starting to shake, my knees barely able to keep me straddled because John thrust a little harder, hitting that spot again.

My body spasmed around him, unable to control it at all. Whatever he was doing right now had seen the edge, and still sent me catapulting right the fuck off it. “ Fuck ,“ I whispered into him, unable to hold back as me teeth bit down on the delicate skin of his neck. That made John thrust into me a little more recklessly, and there were no words to describe that feeling.

This spot… it was testing me. I had just cum not all that long ago, and yet my body reacted like I was sexually starved for weeks.

John’s didn’t seem to be fairing much better. I could hear him now, his goosebumps inducing groans and grunts as he started to make love to me. And I meant the making love part, because this was by far the most intimate and aware I have ever been during sex.

I could tell he was close, but there was no way I could hold out for him. When I felt him push himself the rest of the way in, my body unraveled completely.

“J-John-” I tried to start, my voice and moans still muffled by the neck I was nipping and licking at. The neck that smelt so much like him I wanted to fucking melt into it. My nails were still wreaking havoc on his back, unable to stop especially when John made his thrusts longer. Harder. “I-” I tried again, but no additional words came out.

If it wasn’t for John’s build, the force I was using to hold him had to be enough to break the common man, but John just gripped me even tighter.

“ Are you going to cum, baby? “ He whispered so hoarsely against me, I almost came then.

Just a little longer, Derek. Please…

I nodded into him again, but this time one of John’s hands separated from my hips to connect with my hair, and he yanked me back to eye level again.

“I want to see.” He whispered. John’s face was flushed, probably the most flushed I think I had ever seen it. His eyes made my body tremble even harder, with the look he gave me now. No one had ever looked at me like this before, like I hung the fucking noon or something. My lips found his again before I felt my last orgasm of the night cut through.

Everything was shaking, including my fucking brain. I couldn’t even register existing anymore, and yet John’s lips kissed me right back into that present moment. It was like he snatched my soul from the air as it was starting to ascending, and gently shoved that bitch right back into my fucking body.

And as if that wasn’t enough, John’s cum filled me a second later. I thought I had a death grip on the man, but my grip was enough in comparison to how hard he dug those fingers into me. He buried his load deep inside me, coupling this warmth feeling with grunts that would’ve made me hard all over again if my body wasn’t screaming to give it a damn rest.

I felt him shaking slightly beneath me, which brought a smile to the lips that were still against his.

I wanted to hear him cum like that again and again and again.

His body held mine so tight, I was positive my skin was starting to mesh with his, but I didn’t care. He just felt so fucking good. I wanted to stay like this forever, but I’m sure John wasn’t hoping to eventually sleep sitting up like this. To my suprise, he separated our lips before he gently pulled himself out of me, allowing his cum to drip out which felt interesting but good, then he wrapped his arms around my shaking body again.

When I heard the bottle cap to the massage open, my heart skipped many beats. In fact, for a moment, it just didn’t beat at all. “I-” I started, to which John gently shook his head, meeting my gaze again.

“Aftercare.” Was all he said, to which I felt his warm oiled hands start to massage my shoulders. I melted back into him, allowing my head to rest back on his shoulder as I nuzzled his neck with my nose.

Holy fucking shit this felt like heaven.

His hands were gentle but firm, working out knots not even my chiropractor couldn’t locate. My arms held him tighter, but with each deep knead his fingers worked into me, I could feel each muscle relax against him.

This was…

“Will it always be like this?” I mumbled a bit drowsily against his skin. John’s massages got a bit rougher but I didn’t mind. It just pulled me closer to dreamland.

The birds starting to chirp outside could’ve been the start of the day, or the start of my dream, I really couldn’t tell anymore.

“With me?” John whispered, his words seeping through my exhaustion. “ Yes .“

I felt myself smile against him. Shit man, he had me. My arms tightened around him once more, but his touch forced those muscles to relax again. I felt my heartbeat start to slow for maybe the first time this entire night. My body slowly stilled, embracing the warmth that John was against me.

Sleep was winning this intense tussle.

But before I felt my body completely give in, I swear I heard something. Heard John say something.

“I’m falling in love with you.”

That part had to be a dream right? That’s what I told myself to keep these butterflies contained in my fucking stomach.

But regardless of whether or not it was, I found myself answering him with a quiet, almost inaudible “ ditto .“

Even if this was a confession to dream John, it still made me feel good to get it out. Cause I was— falling in love with him, that is. Hell I’d been falling for so long you’d think they launched me from space.

And yet I felt a very real hand tighten it’s hold on me before I was suddenly being flipped back onto the mattress. My eyes flew open, catching John’s immidietly with him now hovering over me. My legs were stretched out on both sides of him, feeling his soft trouser material against the bare skin.

“John?” I whispered.

His hand slowly reached up to tip my chin further up towards him. “ I’m falling mad fucking hard in love with you Derek Holding .“ He whispered gently, tracing the edge of my chin to my jawline. The look in his eyes made me absolutely melt.

“I-” I whispered back, forcing my words to sound at least somewhat together. “I think I’m-” I stopped myself again. No, that wasn’t right. We’d done oh so much thinking already, a conclusion must’ve been met. “I’m… I’m falling in love with you too.”

John’s gaze had a look I’d never seen before. And at this point my heart was sick and tired of his shit.

He slowly lowered himself, his lips capturing mine for a slow sweet kiss. Lord, I never ever wanted to leave this bed again. He pushed me back into the pillows, deepening the kiss before he started a slow treacherous trail downward.

I knew exactly where this was going. “W-Wait now hold-”

“ Say it again. “ His lips murmured against my neck now, trailing kisses to my clavicle.

This man. “I- I’m falling in love with you-” my voice cut short when a light moan replaced it. John was starting to suck my skin a little harder, leaving more hickeys and love bites rather than kisses.

“Again.” He asked once more. I would’ve rolled my eyes at him if he hadn’t made his way to my left nipple. That forced some of my upper body off the bed immediately. Shit, I was already too sensitive.

“John, I-” his eyes found mine, forcing me to watch as his tongue slip out to lick the taught bud. My hands gripped the sheets underneath me from the feeling.

“ Please .“ He whispered. That word coming from him almost knocked me the hell out. It wasn’t something my heart was equipped to handle right now, she was still working out the whole beating thing. But I still found myself slowly nodding.

How could I say no?

“I’m falling in love with you, John Terry.”

The smile that stretched across John’s lips made my head fall back into the pillows.

I guess sleep would come to us when it came to us, huh?

His touch felt too incredible to resist as he got lower. This man was too incredible to resist, period. And maybe I didn’t want to. Not anymore, anyways.

What an interesting turn of events.

I still couldn’t believe I let my heart get stolen like this. I thought I’d put up more of a fight when the time came.

But some could say I ran into one of the greats.

I glanced back down at the man who could probably ask me to do anything in this very moment. Anything from here on out, really.

Damn. I really was down bad. But I didn’t mind this point of view.

I watched as John moved even lower, feeling my body give in the rest of the way. Yeah, he had snatched my heart right on up.

So, with that being said…

Go fuck yourself, John Terry.

Respectfully , of course.

Fin

••

So first things first, all I gotta say is thank you.

Seriously,

thank you!!!

Words can’t begin to describe how y’all have shown up and shown out for this book and the CEO’s series as a whole.

Thank you so so much for allowing me the opportunity to fuck off for a year, write a whole other book that I felt I really needed to write after the passing of my father, then come back to this with readers just as eager to read this as I was to write it.

Feels like I’m constantly in a state of flux with my life. Like I totaled my car on new years by hitting a deer, just bought the same make and model again, and now I’m in the process of moving into my own place to live on my own (no roommates!). 2024 alone has been wild.

Plus it’s audit and tax season. Yay…

Writing has been helping though all of that, which is why I cannot wait to bring you guys something I’ve been brainstorming for months now. Seriously. I started thinking about this story after hear that Smokey Bastard song last year, and knew I had one badass fantasy novel cooking.

So without further ado…

Introducing:

THE PIRATE KING

(Out now!)

••

When the winds shift west

And the sun soon sets

Steady those vessels, pull in your nets

If blood soaked red

Sails soon appear

Make peace with Death, The Pirate King is near

••

The people of Azultia have been at war for close to a decade now. With the once ruling royal family since disbanded, chaos has fallen upon all aspects of living. To the people on land, the merchants, the workers, this chaos has brought upon a life of complete discourse.

Food is not promised.

Work even less so.

This great amount of uncertainty has made life in Azultia a harsh, difficult feat.

And yet, there is one that stands to benefit from this.

One who has already.

Land is stable. Secure. The people who call it—

make

it home, grow accustomed to that security. When something strikes the ground, uprooting the foundation from its very core, those people crumble amidst the chaos that inevitably will ensue.

But the sea?

It’s not something that can be made.

A man who chooses the sea, chooses chaos in its entirety.

And there was only one man brave enough to attempt to control chaos at that magnitude.

Only one man insane enough to even try.

And they call him The Pirate King

••

New Book Alert!

So the book that won out was DonxCarson :) Alright y’all, let’s get it… And because I don’t take nothing serious… I present to thee:

I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

The first time Don Whittaker heard those infamous words was on January 26th, 1998, when then president Bill Clinton went on national television to deliver his verbal rejection of the notion that an affair between him and Monica Lewinsky ever took place.

Never in Don’s wildest nightmares would he believe these very words could come from his own mouth…

Until one fateful September day when he opened the front door to his high rise penthouse, and he came face to face with an empty hallway… before his eyes eventually panned down to the small child staring up at him.

And his life was soon changed forever when that child spoke his very first words to a man who should’ve been a complete stranger.

“Dad?”

Carson Lee Jones had done his best to always uphold the law. Having worked in HR for most of his career, there wasn’t many who had the ability to get under his skin.

Not many, besides Don Whittaker that it.

And what had started between these two men as a disagreement over a parking spot, suddenly takes one insane turn when Carson’s sister requests he puts in temp hours at her elementary school as a guidance counselor.

Agreeing to this rather simple ask was something Carson found simple to do. He had the education background, and was great with children… That was until he met Dylan, a new transfer student to the school district.

It was in that moment Carson should’ve known that the only child who could test his usually unwavering limits, had to be the spawn of satan himself.

And to eventually find out just who spawned this heinous creature? Well, everything fit perfectly in place after that.

A story in which Don, a financial advisor for John Terry, finds himself juggling three ominous threats:

A feud over a parking spot with a man that wouldn’t go willingly.

An unexpected child he refused to believe was his regardless of their startlingly similar personalities.

And the terror of eventually finding love in both of these pain in the asses.

Out Now:)

(It’s on Inkitt because Wattpad took it down for reasons they couldn’t even disclose)