Desiring Her

WARNING: DON’T READ THIS STORY IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE DEPRESSING SCENES OR SENSITIVE TOPICS OR MATURE CONTENT.

DESIRING HER

Berry Lacsamana had given up on life. But when she one day wakes up in a strange bed with someone calling her his wife, her life begins to take a different path.

---

When Berry Lacsamana wakes up in a room she doesn’t recognize, hooked up to medical machines, confusion and anxiety consume her. Deepening Berry’s fear is the presence of Cadmus Valcarcel who treats her coldly and and looks at her with resentment.

“Finally,” he said with coldness in his voice that made her shiver, frightening her. “My infamous wife is awake.”

Berry isn’t anyone’s wife, lest is she married to Cadmus. However, when she sees a photo of Cherry, a woman who looks like her from every angle, Berry begins to have some suspicions.

She knew she was Berry, not Cherry… wasn’t she?

PROLOGUE

WARNING: DON’T READ THIS STORY IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE DEPRESSION OR SENSITIVE TOPICS OR MATURE CONTENT.

PROLOGUE

MALAKAS NA napaigtad habang impit na umiiyak ang batang babaeng nakaluhod sa sahig habang pinapalo ng sinturon ng kanyang ama. Pilit nitong pinipigilan ang hikbi na gustong kumawala sa bibig nito pero hindi nito magawa ’yo.

Ang walang imik nitong pag-iyak ay nauwi sa mahinang hikbi at pagkalipas ng ilang segundo, pumalahaw na sa iyak ang bata dahil hindi na sinturon ang pinalo sa kanya kung ’di mahabang pamalo na gawa sa kawayan.

Bawat hampas ng kawayan sa katawan ng bata ay nagbibigay ng hindi matatawarang sakit. Bawat hampas ay palakas nang palakas hanggang sa nag-umpisang manlabo ang mata ng bata.

“Hindi ba sinabi ko na sa ’yo!” Malakas na pinalo ang bata sa hita gamit ang kawayan. “Huwag na huwag kang lalabas ng bahay! Ilang beses ko bang dapat sabihin ’yon sa ’yo para makinig ka?!”

Nakakuyom ang kamao ng batang umiiyak habang hilam ng luha ang mukha na umiiling. “H-Hindi p-po ako l-lumabas, D-Daddy.” Humihikbing sagot niya. “H-Hindi ko po k-kayo s-sinuway—”

Isang malakas na hampas ng kawayan sa mga binti ng bata ang nagpatigil dito sa pagsasalita. “Sinungaling! How many times do I have to tell you not to lie to me, huh?!”

“B-but D-Daddy—”

“Shut up! Shut up!”

Mariin na lang na ipinikit ng bata ang mga mata na hilam ng luha at sakit habang humahampas sa musmos nitong katawan ang kawayan.

Sa hita. Sa paa. Sa likod. At sa mga braso. Nakapagtataka kung bakit nakakaya pa ng bata na mabuhay pagkatapos saktan ng sarili nitong ama.

“S-sorry, Daddy,” umiiyak at nangangatal ang boses ng batang humihingi ng tawad. “Sorry, Daddy. S-sorry. S-sorry.”

Pero bingi ang ama nito sa paghingi ng tawad ng anak na walang awa nitong sinasaktan. Bulag din ang ama sa mga sugat na natamo ng bata dahil sa kawayan na hinahampas dito. Walang pakialam ang ama sa dugong dumadaloy mula sa mga sugat ng bata na nagmamakaawa rito.

“T-tama na p-po, D-Daddy. T-tama na. T-tama n-na—h-hindi n-na po a-ako uulit. H-hindi k-k-ko n-n-na p-po k-kaya.”

Hindi na mabilang ng bata kung ilang beses na itong hinampas ng kawayan at sinturon. Sa sobrang sakit ng nararanasan nito ay namanhid na lang ang katawan at nawalan ng malay.

Humahangos na napabalikwas ng bangon ang dalaga mula sa masamang panaginip na gabi-gabi siyang hindi nilulubayan. Habol ang sariling hininga na pinalibot ang kabuunan ng silid na kinaroroonan, sinusuri ang paligid habang malakas ang kabog ng dibdib.

I’m alone. Calm down. I’m alone.

Nang masigurong walang tao sa kwarto maliban sa kanya, nakahinga siya ng maluwang saka napabaling sa pulsuhan niyang namamanhid sa sakit.

Pulang likido. Nababalot niyon ang pulsuhan niya pero wala siyang pakialam.

Hindi na ’yon bago sa kanya. Hindi na bago na makitang dumudugo ang pulsuhan niya pagkatapos niyang hiwain ’yon. Of course, it’s nothing new. Wala ng bago sa ginagawa niya sa sarili. She’d done it a hundred times already, but she was still alive.

Why can’t I just die, already?

She could slit her wrist, but she can’t seem to kill herself. She tried over and over again, but each time, she wakes up alive in a hospital. Hindi niya alam kung bakit hindi niya magawang patayin ang sarili samantalang wala namang dahilan para mabuhay siya. Walang dahilan para gumising pa siya sa umaga at harapan ang bukas.

She has no plans for her future and no care about the present. She struggled to live everyday. Gabi-gabi, hinihiwa niya ang pulsuhan niya, nagbabakasakaling hindi na siya magising na siya namang gusto niya. Yes. She wanted to die so bad, but slitting her wrist was just another way of letting herself know that she was still alive and not a walking corpse.

If someone will know what she was doing to her life, they would judge her and make accusation. No. She was not insane. Those doctors who diagnosed her with depression doesn’t know shit about her.

She wastired of living her life full of misery. She was not like other people. Those people have purpose in life, she doesn’t. They have a reason to live, she have none. They have someone who cared for them, while she have no one.

She has always been alone. Alone in this dark scary world she lived in. No one reached out their hands to her. Some did, but only to hurt her and used her, and did some things only a vile human would do.

Nightmares after nightmares. Dread after dread. Ayoko na. She was tired of living a hellish life every day.

Ilang minuto siyang nakatitig sa kawalan bago niya hinawakan ang sugat sa pulsuhan saka diniinan iyon hanggang sa makaramdam siya ng sakit pero pinagsawalang bahala niya iyon. Hindi niya inalis ang kamay sa sugat niya hanggang sa namanhid na lang ang kamay niya.

Nagbaba siya ng tingin saka tinitigan ang sugat sa pulsuhan. Mas lalo iyong nabalot ng dugo kasama na ang kamay niyang dumiin sa sugat niya.

Walang imik na ibinagsak niya ang katawan sa kama at tumuon ang mata niya sa kutsilyong nasa maliit na mesa na katabi ng higaan.

Walang pag-aalinlangang pinulot niya iyon saka pinakatitigan ang kutsilyo bago inilipat iyon sa sugatan at nanginginig niyang kamay. Mabilis at may diing hiniwa niya ang kabilang pulsuhan.

She didn’t whimper nor grunt in pain. She welcomed it. It felt right. The pain felt good. She let the pain consume her as she closed her eyes.

Sana matapos na rito ang bangungot na araw-araw niyang dala-dala. Sana hindi na siya magising pa.

“Saan ka pupunta, ha?!” Galit na sigaw ng ama ng bata na nanginginig sa takot lalo na nang makitang may hawak na tubo ang ama.

Nanginginig sa takot na umatras ang bata na bakas sa katawan ang maraming pasa at sugat na natamo. “W-wala, D-Daddy. H-hindi p-p-po ako l-lalabas.”

Panay ang atras ng bata sa lasing na ama. Naamoy nito ang alak sa ama na papalapit nang papalapit sa kanya.

Kapag ganitong lasing ang ama nito ay takot na nagtatago ang bata sa kwarto nito. Dahil kapag lasing ang ama nito ay ito ang pinagtutuunan ng galit nito sa lahat ng bagay.

“D-doon l-lang—a-ko sa taas, D-daddy.”

Akmang tatakbo ang bata palayo sa ama nang mapigilan nito ito sa braso.

“Saan ka pupunta, ha?! Aalis ka rin?! Iiwan mo rin ako?! Hindi ako makapapayag! Dito ka lang! Dito ka lang!”

Nanlilisik ang mata ng ama ng bata habang pinaghahampas nito ang katawan ng bata gamit ang tubo.

Tanging iyak at puno ng sakit na pagsigaw lang ang nagawa ng bata habang pinaghahampas ito ng ama. At tulad ng mga nagdaan na araw, nakatulugan na lang nito ang pambubugbog ng ama.

At nang magising ang bata, nasa sahig pa rin siya. Nanginginig ang katawan nito sa sakit. Hindi nito maigalaw iyon. Walang imik na lang na umiyak ang bata habang iniinda ang sakit ng katawan habang gumagapang sa sahig sa takot na baka saktan na naman ito ng ama kapag nakita ito.

Nagising ang diwa ng dalaga sa loob ng mabilis na sasakyan. Naririnig niya ang sirenang nag-iingay at nararamdaman niya ang presensiya ng mga taong nakapalibot sa kanya.

She felt a hand in her chest, pumping up and down, like someone was resuscitating her. She could feel them panicking inside the car while they were trying to stop her wrists from bleeding. Nararamdaman niya ang pagpapalibot ng tela sa pulsuhan niya at ang pagtusok sa kanya ng karayom.

Gusto niyang sigawan ang mga ito na huwag siyang pakialaman, na hayaan na siyang mamatay, na hayaan na siyang manahimik pero hindi niya maigalaw ang katawan.

Sinubukan niyang imulat ang mga mata pero wala siyang lakas. Sumisigaw ang isip niya na patahimikan na siya nang marinig niya ang malakas na tunog ng pagbangga ng isang bagay saka naramdaman niya ang sasakyan na gumewang at humampas sa kung saan dahilan para tumilapon ang katawan niya sa ere at may bumaon na matulis na bagay sa likod niya.

Then pain consumed her. The kind of pain that she had been seeking to wake her up from her nightmares.

But she didn’t wake up. She continued being immobile and for the first time in her life, she felt a spark of happiness in her dark and lonely world.

Instead of fearing death, she smiled, and welcomed it as she took her last breath.

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 1

THE MOMENT SHE opened her eyes, she squinted them as the light from the open window filled her sight. She tried moving, but her body remained immobile. Only her eyes can move freely and she immediately frantically looked around, observing her surroundings as she tried to move her body, but to no avail.

She tried wiggling her toes or her legs, but nothing. She can’t feel anything. She tried to move everything, but nothing happened.

What happened?

A familiar fear consumed her. Instinctively, she immediately seek pain. Anything that can wake her up from this nightmare. But nothing. Her fear intensified and she was sweating bullets. She felt like it’s about to swallow her whole when the door of the room opened.

Awtomatikong tumingin doon ang mga mata niya, nagdarasal na sana hindi iyon ang ama niya. Her nightmares has always been vivid. So vivid that it rendered her weak when she woke up.

Her pulse immediately quickened when she saw a man, a stranger, in a white coat with two women in white uniform behind him. Her mind was shrinking away, it was sending a warning through out her body, but she couldn’t move.

She wanted to leap out from the bed, to get away from these strangers, but nothing. She couldn’t move.

“Hello, Mrs. Valcarcel,” anang lalaki sa kanya habang ang dalawang babaeng kasama nito ay sinusuri siya at ang mga makinaryang nakakabit sa katawan niya.

“I am your private doctor, Dr. Jacobe. You’d been in a coma state for three weeks now.” He smiled, but it made her fear him even more. “I know, you’re afraid, but you don’t have to worry. You’re safe here. For the meantime, hindi mo pa maigagalaw ang katawan mo. But give it days. It’s nice to see that you’re finally awake.” He smiled at her, but his smile did not erase the panic in her system. “We’ve already called your husband and informed him about your health improvement. He’s on his way from Japan.”

Pilit niyang ipinipilig ang ulo at ibinubuka ang labi para magsalita pero naninigas ang bibig niya at walang lumalabas na salita dahil siguro sa nakabaong plastik na tubo sa bibig niya. Tanging daing at ungol lang ang tunog na kaya niyang gawin na mas lalong nagpapalala sa takot niya.

It seems the doctor saw how uncomfortable she was with the tube in her mouth, so, he carefully and slowly pulled it out.

Nang mawala ang tubo sa bibig niya, humugot siya ng isang malalim at mahabang hininga saka namamaos ang boses na pilit na nagsalita kahit nananakit ang lalamunan niya.

“Na—u—h-haw,” namamalat ang boses niya. “U-u-h-haw a-k-ko.”

Kaagad na inutusan ng doktor ang isa sa mga babae nitong kasama na kumuha ng tubig saka nilagyan nito ng straw ang baso bago iyon inilapit sa kanya at pinainom siya.

Uhaw na uhaw siya kaya madali niyang naubos ang tubig.

“More?” the doctor asked.

Mahirap man, pinilit niyang tumango.

The doctor smiled. “Go ahead, Justina,” anang doctor sa babaeng walang emosyong nakatitig lang sa kanya. “Go get some water for Mrs. Valcarcel.”

Her brows slowly furrowed. She was confused. Why does he keep calling her Mrs. Valcarcel? Sino si Mrs. Valcarcel? Ano ba ang nangyayari?

“N-na—saan a—k-ko?” namamalat at nanginginig ang boses na tanong niya sa doktor na inilapat ang stethoscope sa dibdib niya kung nasaan ang puso niya na mas lalong nagpalala sa takot na nararamdaman niya. “A-an—n-nong nang—y-yari s-sa—ki—n?”

Masuyo siyang nginitian ng . “Huwag kang ma-alala, Mrs. Valcarcel, you’re in a safe place.”

“Si—no s-si M-Mrs. V-Valc-car—c-cel?” naguguluhan niyang tanong.

Nagtatakang napatitig sa kanya ang doktor. “It’s you.”

Namilog ang mata niya, bakas ang kaguluhan sa mukha niya habang pilit siyang umiiling. “H-hin—di a-ako ya—n—” pilit niyang inangat ang nanginginig na kamay at hinawakan niya ang IV sa braso saka hinila iyon. “H-hindi a-ko y-yan—” pilit niyang tinatanggal ang mga nakakabit sa kanya. “H-hindi a-ako… h-hindi a—ako yan…”

Bumagsak ang kamay niya sa kama, unti-unti siyang nawawalan ng lakas na pinagtaka niya. Unti-unti nang bumabalik ang lakas niya, bakit nanghihina na naman siya?

Nang mapatingin siya sa doktor, nakita niyang may hinugot itong syringe na nakabaon sa braso niya.

“A-ano y—an?”

“It’ll calm you down,” anang doktor.

Her sight got blurry and her strength faded away slowly, until she became unconscious of everything.

“WHAT HAPPENED?” Kaagad na tanong ni Cadmus sa doktor nang makapasok siya sa kwarto. Kararating lang niya galing Japan. “You said she’s making progress. Bakit tulog pa siya?”

“She was awake, Mr. Valcarcel.” Bumaling ito sa asawa niya. “Then, she started panicking. Pinagtatanggal niya ang mga nakakabit sa katawan niya, so I sedated her.”

His eyes landed on his unwanted wife. “Did she say anything?”

May pag-aalangan si Dr. Jacobe bago sumagot. “S-sabi niya hindi daw siya si Mrs. Valcarcel.”

Cadmus sighed, annoyed. “Wala akong pakialam kung anong sabihin niya. Wala ng bago do’n. She’s a lying conniving bitch after all. She’s good at that. Just keep her alive.” Nagtagis ang bagang niya. “Marami siyang dapat na ipaliwanag sa ’kin.”

Tumango ang doktor saka umalis siya ng kwarto at dumiretso sa mini-bar ng bahay niya.

Nasa kalagitnaan siya ng pagsasalin ng alak sa baso nang pumasok ang sekretarya niya.

“Cadmus, I cancelled your meeting and moved it tomorrow, 10AM.”

He grunted and drank the whiskey straight from the bottle. “Thank you, Nadia.”

Lumapit sa kanya si Nadia saka hinaplos ang balikat niya pababa sa braso niya. “Is there anything you want, Cadmus?” Mababa ang boses nito at nang-aakit. “Is there anything that you want me to do for you?”

Inalis niya ang kamay nitong nasa braso saka malamig niyang tinitigan ang babae. “Don’t touch me, Nadia. That’s what you can do for me.”

Uminom ulit siya ng whiskey sa bote saka ibinalik iyon sa lalagyan at umalis ng mini-bar. Nagtungo siya sa master’s bedroom na nasa ikatlong palapag ng bahay.

Nang makapasok do’n, kaagad niyang inalis ang necktie at hinubad ang damit.

Unconsciously, his eyes landed on his study table. Gumalaw ang panga niya at kumuyom nang mahigpit ang kamao nang makita ang papeles na nasa ibabaw ng mesa.

I won’t give in to your antics, wife.

Nagtatagis ang baga niya nang nagpalit siya ng damit saka umalis ng kwarto at bumaba sa ikalawang palapag.

He was planning to go to his private office, but his feet started walking towards his wife’s room. Bukas ang pinto ng kwarto kaya malaya niyang napagmasdan ang mala-anghel na mukha ng asawa mula sa pintuan.

She was a real beauty, but very deadly.

He shook his head. A devil in disguise, that’s what she is. He was deceived once, not happening again. Hinding-hindi niya ito hahayaang paikutin na naman siya.

He was not the man to be played with. It’s always the other way around. No one played and deceived Cadmus Valcarcel and gets away with it.

Akmang aalis na siya ng tumuon ang tingin niya sa pulsuhan ng asawa.

The cut on her wrist was healed. But it made him wonder. Why did she want to kill herself? Isang mapagmataas na babae ang asawa niya. Matapang at magaling magmanipula. Kaya bakit nito tatapusin ang sariling buhay kung lahat ay naaayon sa plano nito na pahirapan siya?

Napailing na lang siya ng wala siyang maisip na sagot.

It’s a good thing that she was still alive. He will make sure that she will regret playing him like a fool.

Cadmus turned around and was about to leave when he heard a fast beeping sound. Nang umikot siya paharap sa kamang kinahihigaan ng asawa, nakita niya ang pagmulat ng mga mata nito.

A cold heartless smile stretch on his lips. Time to pay for every trouble you have caused me.

EVERY PART OF HER BODY aches. Hindi pa rin niya maigalaw ang katawan katulad kanina nang magising siya, nanghihina pa rin siya at nararamdaman niya ang pagpintig ng sakit ng sentido niya.

But something has changed. She cannot move her toes unlike earlier.

What happened earlier?

She opened her eyes and the white walls greeted her sight, the smell of antiseptic seeped her nose and a continuous beeping filled her ears.

Nagpasalamat siya ng sa wakas ay naigagalaw na niya ang kanyang leeg. Luminga-linga siya, sinusuri ang buong paligid. Pinag-aaralan kung nasaan siya at kung paano siya makakaalis dito.

She was still in the same room from earlier, but now she was more attentive and observant. She was still hooked into some medical equipments, but now she can finally move her legs just not enough to walk.

And her surrounding screamed the word hospital on her face.

This explained everything. Her last memory. She must have been in a car accident…no, an ambulance accident.

And after all that, she was still alive.

She wanted to die, why can’t just God let her? Gusto ba nitong mahirapan pa siya? Is that it? Hindi pa ba sapat ang pinagdaanan niya para hayaan siyang manahimik.

She just wanted to die. But here she was, alive and breathing again!

She stilled when a man with square tightened jaw blocked her vision of the door. He stood beside her bed, his back, straight and his stance, authorative and commanding. His presence screams danger and callousness. His forehead furrowed, lips tightening and and his eyes are like the sharp edge of a knife, ready to cut her up.

He looked like an animal ready to attack his prey. Me.

Fear automatically crept into her. His presence, this man’s aura, it was frightening. He reminded her those men who had hurt her. She was terrified of him.

“Finally,” he spoke with coldness in his voice that made her shiver, frightening her even more. “My infamous wife is awake.”

She couldn’t speak, and could not reply. Her lips just trembled while waiting him to hurt her.

But he didn’t. He just stared at her with disgust.

“Quit playing like a victim.” His voice was harsh and angry, “–because you’re not.”

Hindi siya makapagsalita. Nanatili lang ang mga mata niyang nakatingin sa baba, natatakot siyang tumingin sa mga mata nito dahil baka maging dahilan iyon ng pagdapo ng kamao nito sa katawan niya.

“Ano ba talaga ang pina-plano mo?” Galit at matalim ang boses ng lalaki. “Sa tingin mo hahayaan lang kitang paikutin ako? Huh! What do you take me for? A fool?!”

Napaigtad siya nang lumakas ang boses ng lalaki. Gusto niyang bumukas ang lupa at lamunin siya para makatakas siya sa nakakatakot nitong presensiya pero nanatili siyang nakahiga sa kama.

She can’t do anything, but to lay there in the bed. Defenceless and scared.

“Quit playing around, Cherry. You, disgusting slut!”

Slut. Ilang beses na ba niyang narinig iyon na kakabit ang pangalan niya? That word meant nothing to her now.

“Talk, damn it!”

She remained silent, her eyes trained on her feet. Hindi siya nagsalita o gumalaw. Hinahanda niya ang sarili sa pag-atake ng lalaki pero naroon pa rin ang takot sa dibdib niya.

Would he slap her? Punch her? Kick her maybe? Kung ano man ’yon, nasisiguro niyang naranasan na niya iyon at natatakot siyang maramdaman ulit ang sakit na naranasan na niya.

He tsked. Angry. “Sa tingin mo madadaan mo ako sa drama mo? Huh! You want to play?! Let’s play then! How about I do this, huh?” He grabbed her wrist and pulled the IV. “And this?” Pinangtatanggal nito ang lahat na nakakonekta sa katawan niya. “Do you think I won’t let you die? Binuhay lang kita kasi pagbabayarin kita.”

Her body trembled in fear. Pilit siyang tumatalikod sa lalaki para hindi siya masyadong mapuruhan kung bubugbugin siya nito habang nanginginig ang buong katawan niya sa takot.

Sa tuwing sumasayad ang kamay nito sa katawan niya ay napapaigtad siya at mas lalong kinakain ng takot ang kabuonan niya.

“—But now that you won’t even talk, don’t test my patience woman. I’m not a very patient man. I will make you regret everything that you did to me. Every trouble you have caused, every headache you gave me and every damn things that you lied to me—”

“D-do—n’t h-hurt m-me,” she managed to say in trembling voice as she shrink away from him. “P-please—d-on’t,” she begged him. “D-don’t h-hurt me. P-please. P-please.”

Napatigil ang lalaki sa ginagawa saka galit na itinapon sa sahig ang mga hawak nitong nakakonekta sa kanya pagkatapos ay nagmamadaling umalis ng kwarto.

Siya naman ay ikinuyom ang kamao na nanginginig at nakahinga ng maluwang nang makaalis ang lalaki. Pero kaagad din siyang nakaramdam ng kaba nang pumasok ang doktor at ang dalawang babae nitong kasama.

Dr. Jacobe immediately went to her side and tried to calm her down, but her fear just intensified.

“D-don’t touch me! D-don’t touch me!” Nagwawala niyang sigaw habang pilit siyang pinipigilan ng dalawang babae.

She kept on fighting them using her strength. She was panicking. She was losing her breath in fear and the next thing she knew, she was dozing off and she was in oblivion.

CECELIB | C.C.

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2

THE HOSPITAL ROOM SHE WAS currently in, turned into a normal room in just a matter of hours after Dr. Jacobe announced that she was officially okay after two weeks since she woke up. Pinalabas lang siya ng kwarto sa loob ng tatlong oras at nang pabalikin siya ay isa na iyong simpleng kwarto. The medical equipments are now gone, but her uncomfortableness did not go away because it was replaced by two guards outside her room

Magdadalawang linggo na siya sa bahay na ’yon mula nang gumaling siya pero para siyang preso. Lahat ng galaw niya ay dapat naayon sa gusto ng may-ari ng bahay. She cannot leave her room without the company of the guards and she was not allowed to roam around the house. She cannot eat without his permission and she will not be stunned if he told her. She was not allowed to breath without his consent.

Dr. Jacobe already said that she was completely healed, but the man of the house, that man who has a commanding aura around him, did not even let her set off outside the household.

She planned to beg him to let her go and explain that there must be a misunderstanding, but he haven’t been home for weeks now. She tried asking around, but no one would answer her. Palaging umiiwas sa kanya ang mga tao sa bahay na ’yon na para bang mayroon siyang nakakahawang sakit.

Hindi rin nakatakas sa paningin niya ang mga tingin nito sa kanya na para bang may kasalanan siya sa mga ito.

The woman who looked like her—that man’s wife must’ve done something bad in this household. Akala niya pinaglalaruan siya ng mga taong naroon, lalo na ng lalaking ’yon, pero nang makita niya ang larawan ng babae sa salas na nasa ikalawang palapag ng bahay. Halos nanlamig ang buong niyang katawan.

They were alike in every angle. Physically. Wala silang pagkakaiba. Magkamukhang-magkamukha sila.

And her desperation to escape from this house—from that man—only grows. Kailangan niyang makaalis sa bahay na ’to. Houses like this was uncomfortable for her. It made think about an old and ugly memory from her past and nightmares plague her sleep.

Every night that she spent in that house, she shivers in fear. She trembled in her sleep. Her feet and hands were cold because of fear whenever she heard a creak on the floor. And no amount of expensive duvet can calm her nerves.

All she wanted was to stay in a rundown small hotel so, she could do what was needed to be done.

Berry nearly jumped out of her skin when the door opened.

It was one of the nurses, Clara. “Bumaba ka na. Kakain na raw.”

Halata ang iritasyon sa boses ng babae pero hindi niya pinansin iyon. Sanay na siyang gano’n ang pakikitungo sa kanya ng lahat ng tao sa bahay na ’yon.

Walang imik siyang tumayo at maingat ang mga hakbang na lumabas ng kwarto.

Nakahinga siya ng maluwang nang makitang wala doon ang dalawang bantay sa labas ng kwarto niya.

Napatigil siya sa paglalakad nang biglang humarang sa daraanan niya si Nurse Clara.

“I’m not buying this act of yours, Bitch,” wika nito habang tinitingnan siya mula ulo hanggang paa na parang diring-diri sa kanya. “Ang kapal din ng mukha mo, ’no? Wala akong pakialam kung magalit ka. You have no power in this house. Sana namatay ka na lang at hindi ka na bumalik pa.”

Hindi niya mapigilan ang matawa sa huling tinuran nito. If this woman only knew that she wanted that too.

Mas lalong nairita sa kanya si Clara dahil sa pagtawa niya. “At anong nakakatawa sa sinabi ko?” Sikmat nito sa kanya.

Walang imik siyang umiling saka nakatungong nilampasan si Clara at nagtuloy-tuloy sa paglalakad.

Nang makababa sa unang palapag, nakatungo pa rin siya habang naglalakad patungo sa hapag-kainan. She was taught not to look at other person if not asked, or else, she will be beaten up again. Nadala niya iyon hanggang sa paglaki niya.

When she entered the dining hall, her feet halt. Kaagad siyang nakaramdam ng pagkailang at kaunting takot nang makitang naroon na ang lalaking may-ari ng bahay.

She was in the middle of calming herself when someone pushed her, causing her to stumble and fall.

Kaagad siyang tumayo mula sa pagkakadapa at lumingon para tingnan kung sino ang tumulak sa kanya.

Nakita niyang nakangisi sa kanya si Clara at matalim ang matang tinarayan siya.

Umayos siya ng tayo saka walang ingay ang bawat hakbang na naglakad palapit sa mesa.

Nang makalapit sa mesa, nanatili siyang nakatayo sa tabi at nakatungo hanggang sa magsalita ang lalaking kumakain.

“Tatayo ka na lang ba diyan o kakain ka?”

Napalunok siya. “K-kakain.”

“Then sit.” Wala mang emosyon ang boses nito pero ramdam naman niya ang talim no’n.

Maingat siyang umupo saka ilang segundong tinitigan ang pinggan. Akmang itataas niya ang kamay para kumuha ng pagkain nang naglagay ang katulong ng pagkain sa pinggan niya.

“A-ako na.” Nahihiyang sabi niya saka kinuha ang pinaglagyan ng ulam sa katulong at siya na ang naglagay sa pinggan niya.

“That’s a first.” The man said in a gruff voice. “You like slaving the maids.”

Naglakas ng loob siyang tumingin sa lalaki at napatigil ang paghinga niya ng makitang nakatitig din sa kanya ang kulay tsokolate nitong mga mata.

Kaagad siyang nagbaba ng tingin.

He tsked. “Look at me.”

Slowly, she looked up at him and her breathing became uneven when her eyes met his.

“So this is how you want it, huh?” His jaw tightened. “You deserve an Oscar award for your acting. Bravo, wife. But you will never fool me again.”

She averted her gaze. “H-hindi ako ang a-asawa mo, S-Sir.”

He laughed coldly, making her goosebumps. “Sir? Really?” He laughed again with no emotion. “You really wanna play with me?

Umiling siya. “N-no, S-Sir.” Palihim na kumuyom ang kamao niya. “N-nagsasabi lang h-ho a-ako ng totoo.”

He chuckled. “But you’re a very good liar, Cherry. I’ll give you that. Sa tingin mo maniniwala ako sa mga kasinungalingan mo—”

“P-pero hindi ho ako si C-Cherry.” Giit niya.

“Bullshit.”

“T-totoo ho ’yon.” Naglakas ng loob siyang tumingin sa lalaki. Magkasalubong ang kilay nito at matalim ang mga mata. “Hindi ho a-ako si Cherry. Berry p-po ang pangalan ko. M-magkamukha lang k-kami ng asawa mo, S-Sir.”

Ilang segundo siyang tinitigan ng lalaki saka mahinang tumawa. “You know what, Cherry, I will never fall for your acting anymore. Siguro kung noon nagawa mo akong paikutin dahil sa pagpapanggap mo, hindi na ngayon.”

“Pero S-Sir—”

“Shut up.” He sneered at her. “Eat. And go to your room if you don’t want to angry me more.”

Kaagad siyang tumahimik nang makitang kumuyom ang kamao nito.

Would he hit her? Where?

Ilang sigundo niyang pinakiramdaman ang kasama kung sasaktan siya, saka lang siya nakahinga ng maluwang nang tinapos nito ang pagkain at iniwan siyang mag-isa sa hapag-kainan.

Ipinikit niya ang mga mata saka pinakalma ang sarili. Ilang minuto pa ang lumipas bago naging normal ang pagtibok ng puso niya. Saka lang niya nagawang kumain.

“ANONG PINAGGAGAGAWA niya habang wala ako?” Tanong niya kay Manang Josie, ang mayordoma sa bahay niya. “I’m sure her acting is off since I’m not around.”

“Wala kaming masyadong nakita, Sir Cadmus.” Kunot ang noo ng mayordoma na para bang may gumugulo sa isip nito. “Hindi siya lumalabas sa kwarto niya noong wala ka. Lumalabas lang siya sa tuwing kakain na. At kahit nasa labas siya, hindi siya nagsasalita. Palaging nakatungo ang ulo niya kapag naglalakad at parang hindi siya si Ma’am Cherry.”

Tumaas ang kilay niya saka mahinang natawa. “Looks like she fooled you again.”

Nagbaba ng tingin si Manang Josie. “Pasensiya na, Sir Cadmus. Kakaiba lang talaga ang kinikilos ni Ma’am Cherry—”

“Of course she’s acting weird. That’s her act to fool everyone again.” Napailing siya saka nagtagis ang bagang. “Naalala mo nang huli siyang umaktong parang ibang tao?”

“Oho.”

“Yes. I remember that too. And she fooled me into giving her another chance and a lot of money. Hindi na mauulit ’yon, Manang Josie.”

“Oho, Sir Cadmus.”

“Good.” He, then, dismissed her. “Sige, makakaalis ka na. Good night, Manang Josie.”

Tumango si Manang Josie saka lumabas sa pribado niyang opisina.

Hinilot niya ang sentido saka isinandal ang katawan sa likod ng swivel chair.

Lahat nang nakakausap niya na kasama ni Cherry sa loob ng dalawang linggo na wala siya ay pare-pareho ang sinasabi. Para raw itong ibang tao.

But he will never be fooled again.

She will pay dearly.

Malalim siyang bumuntong-hininga saka binuksan ang desktop niya at ini-open ang live surveillance ng bahay at inumpisahan niyang panoorin ang footage sa kwarto ng asawa niya mula ng araw na umalis siya.

Like what the maids and the guards said, she didn’t leave her room. She just stayed there, reading and lying on the bed. She only goes out to eat at lunch and dinner. Other than that, she stayed in the room. And at night, she would trash on her bed and woke up scared.

Kumunot ang noo niya sa pinapanood. Nakakailang araw na siyang nanonood ng footage pero walang nagbago sa routine ng asawa niya.

She didn’t even try to escape from the guards. She didn’t try to trick them so, she could get her phone in his private office to call her lover.

Cherry cannot stand a lifeless room like what she’d been using for weeks. Umasa siyang nagpabili na ito ng mga furniture habang wala siya pero wala ni kaisa-isang palamuti ang kwarto nito.

The room is in the same state when he left.

Napailing siya. For two weeks, she was in perfect character.

“She must be planning something big.” Napailing siya saka walang buhay na natawa. “I won’t let you fool me again, Cherry. Hindi mo na ako maloloko kahit ano pang klaseng pagpapanggap ang gawin mo.”

Galit na pinatay niya ang desktop saka bumuga ng marahas na hangin bago tumayo at lumabas sa opisina niya.

Nasa kalagitnaan siya sa pag-akyat sa ikatlong palapag ng bahay para magpahinga dahil maghahating-gabi na nang mahagip ng mga mata niya ang asawa na papalabas ng kwarto nito.

There were no guards to stop her and to follow her because he already sent them home.

I should have lock her up in her room . He tsked. Knowing Cherry, she would do something just to escape. Nagtataka nga siya at hindi pa ito tumatakas sa pamamahay niya. Kaya nga naisip niya na tiyak na may pina-plano ito para tuluyan siyang mapabagsak.

He nearly lost his two companies against her last attack. Hindi na niya hahayaang mangyari ulit iyon.

With a frown, he followed her quietly.

She was sneaking all right. She was up to no good again. Sabi na nga ba’t hindi magtatagal ang pagpapanggap nito.

Nang makababa ang asawa niya, dinala ito ng mga paa nito sa kusina.

He was still wondering what she was up to. Then, she picked up a knife on the sink.

His eyes widen, the scene in front of him was like in slow motion. Nagawa lang niyang makagalaw sa kinatatayuan nang makita ang dugo na umagos mula sa pulsuhan nitong walang pag-aalangang hiniwa.

“Damn it!” Galit siyang napamura saka nagmamadaling sinalo ang pabagsak na katawan ng asawa. “What the hell are you doing, you witch!”

Madilim ang mukhang kinarga niya ang asawa patungo sa kwarto nito saka tinawagan si Dr. Jacobe at nagmamadaling kinuha ang first aide kit sa master’s bedroom at bumalik sa kwarto.

Just like earlier, she was still unconscious.

Mabilis niyang nilinis ang sugat ng asawa saka nilapatan niya iyon ng pang-unang lunas habang hinihintay si Dr. Jacobe.

Nang bahagyan na lang ang pagdurugo, tinawagan niya si Clara, ang private nurse na inutusan niyang bantayan ang asawa.

“Cherry’s room. Now!” He ordered and went back to stop the bleeding.

Did she cut herself that deep? Matalim ang kutsilyo sa kusina. Nasisiguro niya iyon.

Gumagalaw ang panga niya sa galit at frustrasyon. “What the hell are you thinking, woman?! You will really stoop this low just to fool me?”

Cadmus was putting a pressure on his wife’s wrist when Dr. Jacobe and Clara came into the room.

Kaagad siyang umalis sa pagkakaupo sa gilid ng kama para bigyan ng lugar ang dalawang bagong dating.

Dr. Jacobe immediately examined Cherry’s wound. At nang makita niyang para itong nakahinga ng maluwang, doon lang niya pinakawalan ang hininga na kanina pa pala niya pinipigilan.

“May history ba ng pananakit sa sarili ang pamilya ng asawa niyo, Mr. Valcarcel?” tanong sa kanya ni Dr. Jacobe habang tinatahi ang sugat ni Cherry sa tulong ni Clara.

Mabilis siyang umiling. “Not that I know of. Her mother has no history of self-harm. So is she.”

“Then why did she slit her wrist so often?”

Natigilan siya sa tanong ni Dr. Jacobe. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t tell you this because it was irrelevant at the time, but your wife has healed cuts on both of her wrists.”

“Meaning?”

“Ibig sabihin palagi niyang hinihiwa ang pulsuhan niya.” Napailing ang doktor. “Some are deep and deadly. At itong hiwa niya, hindi ito malalim. I know some people who would cut themselves because they want to feel pain.”

He’s baffled. “Why would she do that? She’s a proud woman. The last thing in her mind is to kill herself and damage her skin.”

“Well… people kill themselves for far more less reason,” sabad ni Clara.

“She’s my wife,” iritado niyang wika. “At hindi siya pwedeng mamatay hangga’t hindi niya pinagbabayaran ang kasalanan niya sa ’kin.”

Galit na umalis siya ng kwarto pero natigilan din noong nasa may pinto na siya.

He felt a magnet forcing him to look back. And he did.

And the most absurd thing happened, his heart pounded. It wasn’t loud, but enough to anger and disgust him.

Not a chance. Not again.

Nagmamartsa siyang umakyat sa master’s bedroom saka pabagsak na ihiniga ang katawan sa malapad at malambot na kama.

‘Hindi ho a-ako si Cherry. Berry p-po ang pangalan ko.’

Marahas niyang ipinilig ang ulo. Impossible!

BERRY WOKE up alive again. When she opened her eyes and saw the ceiling of her prison room, she knew shen wasn’t dead.

Tiningnan niya ang pulsuhan niya na nababalot ng bendahe.

Malalim siyang bumuntong-hininga saka bumangon at umalis ng kama. Nang lumabas siya ng kwarto, hindi na siya nagulat nang makita ang dalawang guard sa labas ng kwarto pero naroon pa rin ang takot niya.

Mukhang wala rito ang lalaking ’yon.

That’s a good thing.

He makes her very uncomfortable.

Mabagal siyang naglakad pababa ng hagdan saka nagtungo sa kusina para kumuha ng makakain.

The only good thing in this house was the food. Hindi siya nagugutom at palaging may pakain nang nakahain sa kanya pagkababa niya.

But today was different.

When she entered the dining hall, the table wasn’t empty. A beautiful little girl was there, eating.

Berry felt a small spark of happiness inside her when he saw the little girl. She was so beautiful and cute.

Only kids can make her dark world lit up. They were the only thing that made her feel good. Maybe because she knew that they won’t hurt her like the grown ups would.

Nilapitan niya ang bata saka umupo sa katabi nitong upuan.

“Hello, baby girl.” Masuyo ang boses na kuha niya sa atensiyon ng bata.

Nang mag-angat ito ng tingin, bumukas ang takot sa mga mata ito at kaagad na umalis ng hapag-kainan at tumakbo palabas.

Gulat siyang napakurap-kurap. She knew that fear in the little kid’s eyes all too well. Berry knew the little girl must be frightened by now, but she adore kids and she can’t resist.

She followed her and found her in the living room.

Nang makita siya ng bata, akmang tatakbo na naman ito palayo sa kanya pero humarang siya sa harapan nito.

Kaagad itong umatras, halata ang takot sa kanya. “I’m sorry. Hindi na po ako mag-iingay, Mommy.”

Mommy? Napakurap-kurap siya. “Did you just call me… M-mommy?”

The little girl nodded, her eyes tearing up. “I’m sorry na, mommy, hindi na po ako mag-iingay. Makikinig na po ako sa inyo. Sorry. Mommy. Sorry.”

She doesn’t want to pretend to be someone else’s, but she couldn’t let the little girl cry.

“Hey… it’s okay.” Lumapit siya sa bata saka masuyong tinuyo ang luha sa pisngi nito. “I won’t hurt you,” malumanay ang boses na pagkausap niya sa bata. “Gusto ko lang makipaglaro sa ’yo.”

May pagdududa man ang titig sa kanya ng bata, pagkalipas ng ilang segundo ay tumango ito bilang pagsang-ayon sa gusto niya.

“Promise, you won’t hurt me again?” anang bata.

She frowned. “Again?”

“Yes.” Napahawak ang bata sa pisngi nito, “you slapped me, remember? Because I’m too loud and so noisy.”

What kind of mother does this little girl have? “I’m sorry.” Hinaplos niya ang buhok nito saka pinanggigilan ang pisngi nito. “I promise I won’t hurt your cute fluffy cheeks again. Are we friends now?” Inilagad niya ang kamay.

May pag-aalangan man ay tumango pa rin ang bata. “Sige. Kung ’yan ang gusto mo, Mommy.”

Hindi niya pinansin ang tinawag nito sa kanya. She was delighted that there’s an innocent soul in front of her, untainted from all the cruelty in the world. How she wished to be just like this little girl, oblivious and unharmed.

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ng bata saka masuyo iyong pinisil. “Gusto mo bang maglaro, baby?”

Kaagad na tumango ang bata. Bakas ang excitement sa mukha nito habang nakatingala sa kanya. “Yes po.”

“Okay,” she softly smiled at her, “anong gusto mong laruin natin?”

“Dolls?” She cutely suggested as she pouted her lips.

That made her smile. “Okay. Let’s play dolls.”

Parang bumalik sa pagkabata si Berry habang nakikipaglaro sa batang babae. Nakalimutan niyang kumain at nawala sa isip niya ang gutom na naramdaman kanina. She even forgot about her nightmares and she felt a spark of light in her void existence.

For the first time in a long time, she was happy.

“WHERE’S MY DAUGHTER, damn it!” Galit na sigaw niya kay Clara na siyang tumawag sa kanya at nagbalita na iniwan ng ina niya sa bahay ang anak niya dahil may importante itong lakad. “Nasaan si Snow?”

Namumutlang sumagot si Clara. “Sa kwarto ho ni Ma’am Cherry.”

Fear and anger filled him. The last time Cherry and Snow were together, she slapped his baby girl! And that was the last straw of his patience.

Mahigpit na kumuyom ang kamao niya habang malalaki ang hakbang na tinungo ang kwarto ng asawa.

If she lay a finger on his princess, he will not hesitate to end her life. Pinalampas niya ito noong una pero kapag may ginawa pa ito sa anak niya, magkakamatayan silang dalawa.

Every step he makes, dread consumed him. He can still remember Snow’s whimpers and sobs. The redness of his Princess’ cheeks and the pain and fear in her eyes as she looked at him.

No. Not again.

He have to hurry up! Baka kung ano na ang ginagawa ni Cherry sa anak niya.

Ang malalaking hakbang ay nauwi sa mabilis na pagtakbo. Hinihingal siyang nakarating sa kwarto ni Cherry. Kaagad niyang binuksan ang pinto pero bigla siyang natigilan sa nakita.

Nakadapa si Cherry at Snow sa sahig habang naglalaro ng Building Blocks at nagkalat naman sa sahig ang mga barbie dolls ng anak nila. Pareho ang dalawa na walang pakialam sa paligid habang masayang naglalaro.

Napatitig siya sa anak niya. Walang takot sa mukha nito. Her face was filled with happiness. Just like Cherry’s. His wife looked happy… genuinely happy. Her eyes even sparkles in happiness and it’s the first time he ever saw his wife like this.

It’s an act. Anang likod ng isip niya.

Marahas niyang ipinilig ang ulo saka nilapitan ang anak at kaagad na kinarga palayo kay Cherry.

“Daddy, we’re still playing—”

“No.” He said, firmly.

“But Daddy—”

“No buts, Snow.” Pinanlakihan niya ng mata ang anak. “Go to your room. Now!”

Nakasimangot na nagpaalam si Snow kay Cherry na tinugunan naman nito ng tipid na ngiti.

Nang makaalis ang anak niya, hindi niya alam kong sasakalin niya si o tatawa dahil sa pagpapanggap nitong mapalapit sa anak nila.

She had already done this before, trying to get to him through their daughter and he will not let her do that again.

“So this is your plan? Be nice to Snow so I’ll be nice to you?”

Tumayo si Cherry mula sa pagkakadapa saka inayos ang bahagyang nalukot na damit. “A-ayos lang n-naman kung hindi ka maging mabait sa ’kin, basta huwag mo lang pagagalitan ’yong bata.” Nakatungo ito habang malumanay ang boses na nakikipag-usap sa kanya. “Ako ang nag-aya sa kanyang maglaro.”

Pagak siyang natawa sa sinabi nito. “Wow. You’re giving me a parental advice?” Dinuro niya ito. “Just priceless and full of bullshit coming from you!”

“Nakikipaglaro lang naman ako—”

“I don’t care. And can you cut out this nice-and-pitiful-woman act of yours? It’s starting to get into my nerves.” Nanggigigil sa galit na sinapo niya ang mukha nito saka pilit na pinatingin ito sa kanya. “And don’t you dare talk nor play with my daughter again. The last time you did, you used our daughter in your schemes, you have hurt her. I’m warning you now, Cherry, I can be a monster when I need to.”

Malakas niyang itinulak ang asawa sa kama saka malalaking hakbang na umalis ng kwarto nito at nagtungo sa kwarto ni Snow.

Cadmus already left the room so, he didn’t see the tears of self-pity and fear of being beaten in Berry’s eyes.

CECELIB | C.C.

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

MABILIS NA BINITIWAN ni Berry ang kutsilyong hawak nang makitang pumasok si Snow sa kusina. Kasama nito si Clara na matalim ang tingin sa kanya.

“Mommy!” Snow gleefully ran towards her and embraced her legs tightly as she looked up at her.

She felt a warm hand caressed her heart. This cute little girl thinks she was her mother and she couldn’t say otherwise because she doesn’t want to disappoint her just like how disappointed she was in her childhood days.

“Good evening, Mommy,” nakangiting bati sa kanya ni Snow habang nakayakap pa rin sa kanya. “Are you hungry? Hindi mo ako sinabayan mag-dinner kanina.”

If only she could tell to this little angel that her father doesn’t want her to.

“May ginawa kasi ako kanina,” pagdadahilan niya.

“You’re busy again, Mommy?” tanong ni Snow saka pinakawalan siya sa pagkakayakap at umatras. “Am I not allowed to talk, Mommy? Am I being too noisy? Pwede ba tayong maglaro ulit? Pwede mo ba akong samahan mag-half bath?”

Lumuhod siya para magpantay ang mukha nila ni Snow saka masuyong sinapo ang cute nitong mukha. “Pasensiya ka na, hindi pwede eh.” Nawala ang masayang kislap sa mga mata ng bata kaya naman kaagad niyang binawi ang sinabi. “Gusto mo, sabay tayong mag-half bath?”

Kaagad na bumalik ang liwanag sa mukha ng bata. “Talaga, Mommy? You’ll do that for me? You won’t mind if the water ruin your make up?”

Umiling siya saka nginitian ito. “Let’s go?”

Kaagad na hinawakan siya ni Snow sa kamay saka hinila palabas ng kusina. Kaagad namang humarang sa kanila si Clara.

“I’m sorry Snow, pero hindi ka pwedeng sumama sa Mommy mo,” ani Clara na masama ang tingin sa kanya.

Kaagad na naglukot ang mukha ni Snow. “At bakit naman? She’s my Mommy!”

“Snow, listen to me—”

“Why would I? You’re not my Mommy. Hmp!”

Hinila siya ni Snow paalis at walang nagawa si Clara. Nang lingunin niya ito, may tinatawagan ito sa cellphone.

Mukhang nagsusumbong na naman ito sa lalaking ’yon.

Kinarga niya si Snow. “Saan ang kwarto mo, baby?”

Nagtatakang bumaling sa kanya si Snow. “Why are you asking me that, Mommy? Have you forgotten?”

Napangiwi siya. “Something like that, baby.”

“Ah.” Tinuro nito ang pasilyo sa ikalawang palapag. It’s in the opposite direction from her room. “Doon, oh. Bilisan natin, Mommy. Baka dumating na naman si Daddy at pagalitan na naman tayo.”

Napangiti siya sa tinuran ng bata. “Natatakot ka ba sa Daddy mo?”

Snow shook her head. “Hindi po. Daddy is the sweetest. Nang pagalitan niya tayo, he didn’t really mean it. Gano’n lang talaga si Daddy. Galit siya sa ’yo Mommy eh.”

“Bakit siya galit sa ’kin?” She wanted to know the reason why he won’t believe that she was not his wife.

Snow shrugged. “Daddy said it’s adult stuff only.”

Napatango-tango siya saka pumasok sa kwarto ni Snow.

Wala silang sinayang na oras, sabay silang naghubad saka nagbabad sa malaki nitong bathtub sa sarili nitong banyo.

Berry felt happy again as she bathe with Snow. Simpleng bagay lang ’yon pero masaya siya na walang takot sa dibdib niya. This is why she love kids, they were innocent and won’t be able to hurt her.

And Snow was just too cute, so sweet and so cuddly not to be adored. Panay ang yakap nito sa kanya habang nagsasabon silang dalawa.

And they decided to put shampoo on each other’s hair.

Their half bath turned into a full bath. They were playing in the bathtub. Splashing water at each other, and putting shampoo foam and bath bubbles on each other’s faces.

Their laughter echoed inside the bathroom.

It’s been so long since she laughed freely and happily. It’s been so long since she felt secure and unafraid. It’s been so long since she loved the feeling of being alive and not the thought of being dead.

She was glad she met Snow. She was happy to meet such cute little girl whose laughs are contagious.

Tumigil lang sila sa paglalaro habang naliligo nang mapansin niya ang pamumutla ng mga kamay ni Snow dahil sa sobrang pagbababad sa tubig.

Kaagad niyang kinarga si Snow patungo sa ilalim ng shower para magbanlaw. Pagkatapos ay tinuyo niya mula ang katawan ni Snow at pinagsuot ito ng bathrobe bago tinuyo ang sarili at ipinalibot ang pambatang tuwalya sa katawan niya.

Maikli ang tuwalya pero pinagkasya na niya ang sarili. Tatakbo na lang siya mamaya patungo sa kwarto niya.

“Mommy, can you sleep beside me tonight?” tanong ni Snow habang binibihisan niya ito ng pantulog.

Kaagad niyang naisip ang ama nito. “Baka magalit ang Daddy mo.”

Mahigpit siyang hinawakan sa kamay ni Snow saka nangungusap ang mga matang tumitig sa kanya. “Please, Mommy. Please?”

Berry doesn’t have the heart to disappoint this little angel. Pero ayaw din niyang magalit sa kanya ang ama nito.

Binuhat niya si Snow pagkatapos bihisan saka maingat na ihiniga sa kama at hinaplos ang buhok. “How about we compromise, hmm, baby?”

Snow looked at her with her innocent questioning eyes. “Compromise? Ano po ’yon?”

“It’s like a negotiation,” paliwanag niya habang hinahaplos pa rin ang buhok nito. “I will do what you want and you will do what I want.”

Snow immediately grinned happily. “Okay. What do you want, Mommy?”

“Well,” she smiled, “I want to sleep in my room. Magagalit kasi ang Daddy mo kapag nakita tayong magkasama. In return, I will stay by your side until you fall asleep. Pangako, hindi ako aalis hangga’t hindi ka mahimbing na natutulog.”

Umaktong nag-iisip si Snow saka malapad ang ngiting tumango. “Okay, Mommy. Deal.”

She smiled and kissed her forehead. “Tulog ka na.”

Tumango si Snow saka ipinikit ang mga mata. Siya naman ay tumabing humiga sa bata saka masuyong hinaplos ang buhok nito habang mahina ang boses na kinakantahan.

’… caterpillar in the tree,

How you wonder who you’ll be,

Can’t go far but you can always dream.

Wish you may and wish you might,

Don’t you worry hold on tight,

I promise you there will come a day

Butterfly, fly away…’

While humming Snow to sleep, Berry didn’t realise that she was falling asleep as well. Ang huli niyang namalayan bago tuluyang pumikit ang mga mata niya ay ang pagbukas ng pinto ng kwarto at ang pagpasok ng ama ni Snow.

CADMUS HURRIEDLY went home when Clara called him, telling him that Cherry was with Snow again. Halos paliparin niya ang kotseng minamaneho habang maraming senaryo ang naglalaro sa isip niya.

Pero ang senaryong hindi pumasok sa isip niya ay ang marinig si Cherry na kinakantahan si Snow para makatulog nang mahimbing.

From outside Snow’s room, he can hear Cherry’s soft humming and he couldn’t move his feet to enter the room. Gusto niya pang pakinggan ang mahina nitong pagkanta. Gusto niyang magpanggap na normal silang mag-anak.

But reality came too soon.

Cherry’s voice faded away unto the air, waking him up from his reverie.

Hinawakan niya ang doorknob saka binuksan ang pinto at dahan-dahan iyong itinulak pabukas.

Cadmus felt his defences softened when he saw Cherry sleeping beside their daughter, her arms hugging Snow and her lips pressed against Snow’s temple.

The scene in front of him was a picture of a loving wife, taking good care of their child.

But he knew the truth. He know better than to trust Cherry again.

The last time he gave her a third chance, she destroyed two of his companies and hurt his little Princess.

He could never allow that to happen again. Never. Ayos lang na siya ang masaktan, huwag lang si Snow. She was too innocent to get hurt. She was too young for this mess.

Huminga siya ng malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili saka lumapit sa asawa na mahimbing na natutulog.

Natigilan siya at nagtagis ang bagang niya ng alisin niya ang kumot nito at nakitang nakatapi lang ito ng maikling tuwalya.

Snow’s towel.

Cadmus gritted his teeth and was about to shake Cherry awake when he noticed something in her back.

Kumunot ang noo niya habang pinagmamasdan ang likod nito.

Cherry’s back was flawless. No speck, no bruises and no cuts. Alaga nito ang katawan kaya paano ito magkakaroon ng maraming sugat sa likod? At sa parte lang iyon ng likod nito na nakikita niya. How about to lower part of her back?

Paano ito nasugatan ng ganito? It’s not from the car crash that’s for sure. He was not a doctor, but he can tell that these wounds and cuts healed years ago and not just for weeks!

What the hell is this?

He run his fingers through his hair as he stared at Cherry’s back. This can’t be. Hindi iyon ang likod ng asawa niya. He knew his wife’s body. They have a child together for Christ’s sake! And this is not it!

Hinubad niya ang suit na suot saka itinakip iyon sa katawan nito at ibinalik ang pagkakatakip ng kumot dito.

Cadmus, then, get his phone from his pocket and called Dr. Jacobe. Ilang ulit munang nag-ring sa kabilang linya bago nito sinagot ang tawag niya.

“Mr. Valcarcel—”

“When can you see me?” He cut him off. “It’s urgent.”

“Oh. I’m in a conference in Macau,” anang doktor na mas lalong nagpasakit ng sentido niya. “I’ll be home next week.”

Cadmus blows a loud breath. “Can’t you cancel that meeting?”

“No. I’m the speaker.”

Malakas siyang napabuntong-hininga saka lumabas ng kwarto ng anak. “Fine. I’ll ask you in the phone then.”

“What is it?”

“Is that woman really my wife, Cherry?”

Cadmus was holding his breath as he wait for Dr. Jacobe’s answer.

“I would gladly answer that, Mr. Valcarcel, but it’s better to show you than to tell you.”

Nagtagis ang bagang niya. “Just a no or a yes, Jacobe.”

“Sasagutin kita kapag nakabalik na ako, Mr. Valcarcel.”

Humigpit ang hawak niya sa baluster saka pinatay ang tawag. Kapagkuwan ay napabaling siya sa nakasarang pinto ng kwarto ng anak niya.

That woman. That can’t be possibly Cherry. I just need a confirmation.But who the hell is she? Their face are exactly the same in every angle.

Napasabunot siya sa sariling buhok saka marahas na napailing.

This is fuck up! He was sure as hell that Cherry doesn’t have a twin sister. She was an only daughter of a struggling single mother. Mahirap lang ito kaya nga pinakasalan siya para umangat ang buhay nito. She only wanted his money, huli na nga lang nang malaman niya iyon. That’s why she doesn’t want to have a child. He should have known by then that she doesn’t really care about him.

And if that was not his wife then she wasn’t really acting. That woman was really shy, nice and quiet, very different from his bitch of a wife. She was really happy playing with his kid.

Bumuga siya ng marahas na hininga saka wala sa sariling naglakad patungo sa master’s bedroom habang nasa isip niya ang babaeng kamukha ng asawa niya.

NAKATAKIP ANG MGA kamay ng pitong taong gulang na Berry sa tainga nito at mariing nakapikit ang mga mata niya habang pilit na winawaksi ang naririnig mula sa labas ng kwarto niya.

“Oh! Sige pa! Oh! Oh! Hector. Sige pa! Ang sarap-sarap mo. Ah! Ah!”

Marahas niyang ipinilig ang ulo at umiiyak na mas hinihigpitan ang pagtakip sa tainga niya.

“Tama na…” mahina niyang nagmamakaawang bulong habang umiiyak. “Tama na. Tama na.”

“Oh! Oh! Hector. Ang sarap! Sige pa. Isagad mo lang. Ah! Ah!”

Dumapa siya sa kama saka nagtakip ng unan para hindi marinig ang ingay na nanggagaling sa labas habang impit na umiiyak.

Nakatulugan na lang ni Berry ang ingay sa labas at nagising siya nang marinig ang malakas na pagsipa sa pinto ng kwarto niyang naka-lock.

Mabilis siyang bumangon saka isiniksik ang sarili sa gilid ng higaan habang nanginginig sa takot ang katawan.

“Buksan mo to, Berry!” sigaw ng ama niya mula sa labas.

Napaigtad siya sa takot at nanlalamig ang katawan na niyakap ang sarili habang nagdarasal kay Papa Jesus na sana hindi mabuksan ng ama niya ang pinto pero hindi siya pinakinggan ni Papa Jesus.

The door flew open and her father entered her room holding a belt on his hand.

Berry instantly quiver in pain when his father walked towards her. Inihanda niya ang sarili para sa sakit. Pero nagulat siya nang hawakan siya sa braso ng ama saka hinila siya pababa ng kama.

Napaigik siya dahil sa sakit sa braso niya. “Daddy! Masakit!”

Pero hindi tumigil ang ama niya sa paghila sa kanya hanggang sa makalabas siya ng kwarto. Patuloy siya nitong hinila pababa sa hagdan at sa bawat pagkahulog ng katawan niya sa bawat baitang, napapasigaw siya sa sakit.

Panay ang pagmamakaawa niya. “T-tama na, Daddy! H-hindi ko na p-po kaya.” Umiiyak na pagnamakaawa niya pero bingi ang ama niya.

He dragged her towards the living room and slammed her body on the center table before beating her up with his belt.

Sa likod, sa leeg, sa paa, sa hita, sa braso at sa binti. Lahat iyon ay tinamaan ng dulo ng belt nito hanggang sa manghina na lang siya sa sobrang sakit ng katawan niya.

Sa mura niyang edad, hindi na kinaya ng katawan niya ang lakas ng bawat hampas ng sinturon ng ama sa katawan niya. At nang tuluyan na siyang nanghina, naramdaman niya ang paghaplos ng kamay ng ama niya sa kanyang katawan.

“Kamukhang-kamukha ka ng Mommy mo.”

His father words made her want to scream for help. Pero alam niyang walang tutulong sa kanya. Sa bata niyang edad alam niyang wala siyang magagawa. Walang makakarinig sa kanya.

Ang tanging nagawa lang niya ay sumigaw sa isip niya na huwag habang inaalis ng ama niya ang pang-ibaba niyang damit.

Takot na pabalikwas na bumangon si Berry at nanginginig ang boses na sumigaw nang makita ang bultong nakaupo sa gilid ng kama niya.

Her nightmares are still within her and she panicked. Her mind was telling her that it’s her father and he came back to abused her again. Pinagsisipa niya ang bulto habang umiiyak na nagmamakaawa.

“Leave me alone! Please! Please me alone! Ayoko na! Ayoko na! Please! Don’t hurt me… don’t touch me!”

Pero nagpumilit ang ama niya na hawakan siya pero mas lalo siyang nagpumiglas. Sa wakas ay sumuko na rin ito kasabay ang pagliwanag ng buong paligid.

Berry gasped and hugged her naked body as light engulfed the room. Her body trembling in fear.

Kapagkuwa’y namilog ang mata niya nang makitang ang lalaking pinagsisisipa niya ay ang lalaking may-ari ng bahay.

Shame consumed her. “I-I’m s-sorry.”

Berry expected him to shout and be mad at her, but he didn’t say anything. He just picked the duvet on the floor and wrapped it around her nakedness.

“Natakot yata kita,” anito sa mababang boses habang inaayos ang pagkakakumot sa kanya. “I was just moving you to your room. Malamig kasi doon sa kwarto ni Snow tapos wala ka pang damit kaya binuhat kita rito.”

Mahigpit siyang napahawak sa kumot. “I-I’m sorry.” Hingi niya ng tawad. “P-pasensiya ka na. P-please don’t h-hit me.”

Umatras ito saka umiling. “Don’t worry. I won’t.” Pagkasabi niyon ay lumabas na ito ng kwarto niya.

Siya naman ay naiwan na nahihiya sa ginawa pero naroon pa rin ang takot sa kalooban niya.

Napatitig siya sa kawalan at mariing ipinikit ang mga mata habang dumadaos-dos pahiga sa kama niya. At habang nakatitig siya sa kisame, alam niyang hindi na siya makakatulog pa. At alam din niya kung anong kailangan niya para makatulog siya.

Mabilis siyang bumangon saka nagdamit pagkatapos ay lumabas siya ng kwarto at nagmamadaling bumaba sa kusina.

Nang mapatingin siya sa relong nakasabit sa dingding na dinaanan, lampas hatinggabi na.

Malalaki ang hakbang niya papasok ng kusina at naghanap ng kutsilyo. Nang makakita ng isa sa lababo, kinuha niya iyon at lumabas ng kusina.

Kapagkuwan ay napatigil siya sa paglalakad nang mahagip ng mata niya ang pinto ng bahay.

No guards and no one was around.

But it was locked from the inside and she has no key.

She resumed walking and hurriedly went to her room. Ini-lock niya ang pinto saka umupo sa gilid ng kama at mahigpit na hinawakan ang kutsilyo.

I want to sleep. I need to sleep.  At nakakatulog lang siya kapag may sakit siyang nararamdaman. She needed pain to sleep. Just enough pain to make her sleep and not die. She was thinking of Snow. She doesn’t want her to see her die like that.

Pero hindi pa rin nagbabago ang gusto niya. She still wanted to die. But not in this house. Not in that little girl’s presence. She doesn’t want her innocent view of this world to be tainted.

Huminga siya ng malalim saka pinakatitigan ang pulsuhan habang unti-unti iyon hinihiwa. Hindi iyon malalim pero sapat na para mamanhid ang kamay niya. Nang maramdaman niya ang sakit, binitiwan niya ang kutsilyo saka nahiga siya sa kama at ipinikit ang mga mata.

Kaagad siyang dinalaw ng antok. The pain in her wrist was like a lullaby for her. The pain made her sleep soundly.

Pero bago siya tuluyang makatulog, narinig niya ang pagbukas ng pinto at ang pagpasok ng kung sino man sa kwarto niya.

CECELIB | C.C.

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 4

BERRY WOKE UP AND her eyes instantly landed on her wrist to see her bleeding wound. Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya nang makitang may benda na ang pulsuhan na hiniwa niya kagabi.

Did Clara clean her wound and put bandage on it?

Berry sighed and pushed herself to get up from the bed even though her head was pounding mercilessly. Pagkatapos ay pumasok siya sa banyo para maghilamos at mag-ayos ng sarili.

After cleaning herself up, she changed her clothes. Pinili niya ang damit na hindi masyadong revealing. It took her some time to choose because all of the clothes in the closet are revealing.

She was guessing that Cherry owns all the clothes in that closet.

After a long deliberation with herself, she finally chose the simplest dress in the closet she could find – a dress reaching her knees.

Humarap siya sa salamin at tiningnan ang sarili doon. She looked pale and weak. She was like death itself and for a thousand times, she did not care wether she looked presentable or not. Nothing will change. She was still a damage person from the inside and out. Nothing can change that. Nothing.

Berry let out a loud breath and stared at her wrist. Nababalot ng benda ang magkabilang pulsuhan niya. Kung nasa hospital siya ngayon, baka ini-endorse na siya ng doktor sa isang psychiatrist.

Then the psychiatrist would diagnose her with Major Depressive Disorder. Then, a therapist would be given, a therapist who would just sit with a paper and pencil on her hand, who doesn’t know shit about her, and would ask her the same questions over and over again.

How do you feel?

Mapait siyang ngumiti. How do I feel?

I feel like I’m in hell every time I wake up. I feel like my life is not worth living. I feel like I am a worthless human being. I don’t feel the need to be happy. I don’t know the reason why I’m still alive. I feel like everything will only be okay when I die. I feel that I will only forget everything that has happened to me if I kill myself. That’s what she felt. Every time.

Napatigil siya sa pag-iisip at napabaling sa pinto ng may kumatok doon.

Then, the door opened showing Clara.

“Kakain na raw,” padaskol na sabi ni Clara sa kanya.

Tumango siya saka nagtanong tungkol sa kanina pa gumugulo sa isip niya. “Ikaw ba ang nagbenda sa sugat ko?”

Kumunot ang noo ni Clara. “Hindi. Bakit ko naman gagawin ’yon?” mataray nitong tugon.

Umiling siya. “Wala naman.”

Inirapan siya nito saka nauna nang umalis sa kanya. Siya naman ay humugot muna ng malalim na hininga bago naglakad palabas ng kwarto.

Nang makababa siya sa unang palapag ng bahay at nakapasok siya sa kusina, nabitin ang pagbati niya kay Snow na kumakain nang makitang naroon ang ama nito sa hapag-kainan.

Kaagad niyang naalala ang nangyari kagabi. Nagbaba siya ng tingin saka walang imik na umupo sa tabi ni Slow, medyo malayo iyon sa lalaki.

“Good morning, Mommy!” masayang bati sa kanya ni Snow sabay halik sa pisngi niya. “How’s your sleep, Mommy?”

She smiled at Snow. “Okay naman. Ikaw? Nakatulog ka ba nang mahimbing?”

Nakangiting tumango si Snow. “Yes po. I slept really well. Pwede mo bang kantahan ulit ako mamaya?”

Napabaling siya sa ama nitong walang imik na kumakain. Hinintay niya ang hindi nito pagpayag pero walang sinabi ang lalaki kaya naman sinagot niya si Snow.

“Sure, baby. It’s my pleasure to sing for you,” aniya.

Snow grinned and kissed her on the cheeks again. “Yehey! Thank you, Mommy.” Then, she kissed her again. “School na po ako, Mommy.”

Tumango siya saka sinundan ng tingin ang bata na tinatawag si Clara para samahan ito sa paaralan.

Then, there was only her and the man of the house.

Come to think of it, she doesn’t even know his name.

The dining table was filled with silence until he broke it.

“How’s your wrist?” he asked.

Bumaba ang tingin niya sa pulsuhan saka mahina ang boses na sumagot. “O-okay lang.”

He sighed, “Look at me.”

Slowly, she looked at him. “A-ano ’yon?”

“Don’t do that again.”

“W-what?”

Tinuro nito ang pulsuhan niya. “Don’t cut yourself again. Paano kung hindi kita nakita kagabi na may dalang kutsilyo? Sinong aampat sa pagdurugo ng sugat mo?”

So, he was the one who put the bandage on her cut? “I-ikaw ang nagb-benda ng sugat ko?”

Tumango ito saka bumuntong-hininga. “Huwag mo nang uulitin ’yon.”

Hindi siya umimik at nagbaba lang ng tingin.

“Look at me,” he commanded.

And she obliged. Slowly. “S-Sir?”

“Don’t call me Sir,” anito saka hinilot ang sentido. “It’s Cadmus. Cadmus Valcarcel.”

“C-Cadmus…” his name rolled on her tongue softly. “Cadmus.”

Tumiim ang tingin nito sa kanya. “Yes. Cadmus… or if you find it mouthful, just Cad.”

“Cad,” his name felt soft in her tongue. “Cad.”

“Yes. Cad or Cadmus.”

Tumango siya saka nagbaba ulit ng tingin at pinagpatuloy ang pagkain.

“Look at me,” Cadmus ordered.

She instantly looked at him. “Y-yes?”

Cadmus frowned at her. “Why did you do that?”

“W-What?”

“You,” anito. “You’re like a robot. You just do as I say quickly.”

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. “A-ayoko lang ng gulo.”

“I see,” paused. “So, if I told you to stop eating now, you will?”

Binitiwan niya ang kutsara at tinidor saka tumayo at akmang aalis na nng pigilan siya ng lalaki sa kamay.

Bigla siyang kinain ng takot kaya naman mabilis niyang hinila ang kamay niyang hawak nito. And as she held her hand, she trembled.

Kinuyom niya ang kamao saka nagmamadaling umalis ng hapag-kainan.

Nang makalayo siya, nanunubig ang matang napasandal siya sa malapit na pader at niyakap ang nanginginig niyang kamay na hinawakan ni Cadmus.

She was afraid. She was terrified of a man’s touch. She was frightened of any man that gets close to her. She was scared of their kind.

Naluluhang tumakbo siya pabalik sa kwarto niya saka ini-lock iyon at isiniksik ang katawan sa gilid ng kama at pinalibot ang kumot sa katawan niya na para bang po-protektahan siya no’n laban sa mga taong gustong manakit sa kanya.

CADMUS CAN’T focus on the job at hand. Naglalakbay ang isip niya patungo sa babaeng nasa bahay niya.

She was scared earlier. He could tell. She was scared of him.

But why? Wala naman siyang ginawang masama rito.

Why the hell do I care?

Marahas niyang pinilig ang ulo saka bumuga ng marahas na hininga at tinawagan ang kilala niyang private investigator.

“I need you to investigate someone for me,” sabi niya nang sagutin nito ang tawag niya.

“Sino ho, Mr. Valcarcel?”

“I’ll send you her picture,” aniya saka pinatay ang tawag.

Kaagad niyang ipinadala sa e-mail ng P. I. niya ang larawan ni Cherry na may nakakabit na instructions.

’She looked like my wife, Cherry. But her name is Berry, I don’t know her surname. Investigate her. I want to know everything about her. ’ Then he hit send.

He wasn’t sure yet though, but he has a strong feeling that ‘that woman’ was not his wife, Cherry. He has to find out whoever she was.

Malalim siyang bumuntong-hininga saka tinawagan si Jared, ang isa sa dalawang guard na nakabantay sa labas ng kwarto ng asawa niya sa tuwing aalis siya ng bahay.

“How’s my—” tumikhim siya, “—wife?” he asked.

“Hindi pa ho siya lumalabas ng kwarto mula kaninang umaga,” sabi ni Jared.

For some reason, he was worried for her. If she was really not his wife then, she was not faking any of this. She was not faking that fear in her eyes.

Cadmus let out a loud breath and ran his finger through his hair.

What if she cut herself again? What if no one in the house noticed her? What if she have a hidden knife in her room? What if it’s too late to save her?

Padaskol siyang tumayo saka pinatay ang tawag at nagmamadaling lumabas ng opisina niya.

“Nadia.”

“Sir?”

“Cancel all my appointments,” wika niya habang naglalakad patungo sa elevator.

“But Sir—”

“Tell them I’m busy.” Pagkasabi no’n ay sumakay siya ng elevator at pinindot ang button para sumara ang pinto.

Nang makarating siya sa basement, nagmamadali siyang lumabas ng elevator at malalaki ang hakbang na tinungo ang nakaparadang kotse. Nang makasakay, kaagad niya iyong pinausad at pinaharurot nang makalabas siya ng parking lot.

Madali siyang nakarating sa bahay dahil sa bilis ng pagmamaneho niya. He hurriedly parked his car outside his house and went inside his home.

Cadmus immediately went to his wife’s room.

“Sir—”

“She’s still inside?” he asked.

Tumango si Jared, “Yes, Sir. Hindi pa siya lumalabas.”

“Okay,” he said then, dismissed the guards. “Makakaalis na kayo.”

Hinintay ni Cadmus na makaalis ang dalawang bantay bago ginamit ang susi niya para buksan ang pinto ng kwarto ng asawa.

When he slowly pushed the door open, he silently walked inside the room. His eyes instantly settled on the woman in the bed. Nakapikit ang mga mata nito na parang tulog pero pabiling-biling ito sa higaan, basa ng pawis ang unan at tumutulo ang luha sa gilid ng mata na para bang nananaginip ito ng masama.

“H-huwag—Daddy—no! No! Uncle, no! D-don’t touch me. Please. D-don’t hurt me!”

Cadmus felt a strong urge to console her, but the last time he did that, he scared her even more.

So, he stayed two steps away from her and just stared at her. Ilang minuto din ang lumipas bago ito bumalikwas ng bangon at habol ang hiningang niyakap ang sarili habang mahinang humihikbi.

“Hey…” mahina ang boses na kuha niya sa atensiyon nito.

She was trembling as she looked up at him. Fear was in her eyes and it intensified tenfold when she saw him.

“D-don’t h-hurt me,” may pagmamakaawa sa boses nito habang namamalisbis ang luha sa pisngi. “P-please don’t. Please…”

Umiling siya habang nanatili sa kinatatayuan. “I won’t hurt you.” Humakbang pa siya paatras para mapanatag ito, “I swear. I won’t.”

Ang mahina nitong pag-iyak ay nauwi sa hagulhol habang pahigpit nang pahigpit ang yakap nito sa binti at sa sariling katawan.

He just stayed there in silent. Maybe not by her side to console her, but close enough to be with her if needed.

AFTER HOURS OF CRYING, Berry finally was able to pull herself together and stopped her tears from falling. With her watery eyes and damp cheeks, she glanced at the man who stayed throughout her breakdown.

Cadmus.

Hindi ito lumapit sa kanya na pinagpasalamat niya. Sa halip ay umupo ito sa sahig at nakasandal ang katawan sa likod ng nakasarang pintuan.

Hindi ito nagsasalita o sinusubukan man lang siyang patahanin habang umiiyak siya. He just stayed there silently and she preferred that rather than him, touching her.

Men frightened her and Cadmus was no different.

“How are you feeling?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.

Tahimik siyang tumango habang tinutuyo ang basang pisngi.

Cadmus stood up and walked towards her. But he stopped two steps away from her bed and handed her a blue handkerchief.

“Use this to dry your tears,” anito habang inaabot sa kanya ang panyo. “It’s made from a soft fabric.” Nang hindi niya tinanggap iyon, ipinatong nito iyon sa ibabaw ng kama. “Take it,” wika nito saka lumabas na ng kwarto niya.

Hindi mapigilan ni Berry ang maguluhan.

Why was he being nice to her? Noong isang araw lang ay galit ito sa kanya. May lihim ba itong binabalak sa kanya katulad ng mga lalaking naging mabait sa kanya? Does he want to use her too? Like those monsters hiding in a form of a man?

Tumulo na naman ang luha niya nang maalala ang nangyari sa kanya.

Nanginginig ang kamay na pinulot niya ang panyo ni Cadmus saka ipinahid iyon sa pisngi niya para matuyo ang mga luha niya.

All her life, pain was her best friend and tears are her allies. She has no one to talk to, no one to care for her and no one to even bother to know how her life was.

She has no family and no friends. She has nothing. All she have was herself and her inheritance that she didn’t need.

All she wanted was someone who will care for her, but in this dark world where she live, no one cared for her. No one. Not a single soul.

She was alone. Always have been and always will be. At sanay na siyang mag-isa siya palagi. Hindi na ’yon magbabago.

Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga at akmang aalis ng kama para maghilamos sa banyo nang may kumatok sa pinto at bumukas iyon.

It was Cadmus.

“It’s bothering me…but, ahm,” tumingin ito sa mga mata niya. “Are you really okay? Do you want water? Or something to eat?”

“I’m okay,” namamaos ang boses na sagot niya.

“You sure?”

Berry wrapped her arms around her chest. “W-why are you being nice to me?”

Ilang segundong napatitig sa kanya si Cadmus bago sumagot, “I’m worried.”

“’D-di ba galit ka?”

“Yes. But, ahm, I’m more worried than mad.”

“I’m o-okay,” aniya saka nagbaba ng tingin.

Cadmus sighed. “Okay. Ahm, if you need anything, just call Clara. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” anito saka isinara na rin sa wakas ang pinto ng kwarto niya.

Nakahinga siya ng maluwang saka nagmamadaling pumasok sa banyo para maghilamos.

Pagkatapos maghilamos sa lababo, hindi niya alam kung ilang minuto siyang nakatitig sa salamin habang tumatakbo sa isip niya ang masamang panaginip bago lumabas ng banyo.

Napatigil ang balak niyang pagbalik sa kama nang makita ang meryenda sa paanan ng kama niya.

Sino ang nagdala nito? Tanong niya sa sarili saka nilapitan ang tray na may lamang meryenda.

A simple snack, but it’ll do to fill her hungry stomach.

Habang nagmemeryenda siya, napabaling-baling siya nang makarinig ng tunog ng cellphone sa loob ng kwarto niya.

First of all, she doesn’t need a phone. Second, she doesn’t own one.

So, why was there cellphone ringing inside her room?

Sinuri ng mata niya ang bawat sulok ng kwarto at ginamit ang tainga niya hanggang sa matagpuan niya ang bagay na hinahanap.

Ang cellphone na nag-iingay ay nasa gilid ng tray, bahagyang natatakpan kaya hindi kaagad niya nakita.

She frowned. Why was it there?

Berry picks up the phone and her frown deepened when she saw who was calling.

“Cadmus?” Basa niya sa pangalan ng tumatawag.

Ilang segundo niyang tinitigan ang nag-iingay na cellphone bago iyon napipilitang sinagot.

Hindi pa siya nakakapagsalita ay nagsalita na ang nasa kabilang linya.

“That’s my old phone,” ani Cadmus sa kabilang linya. “I figured that you don’t like being touch, so, ahm, let’s just talk. It’s easier this way, yes?”

Mas lalo lang na lumalim ang gatla sa noo niya. “Bakit mo ba ’to ginagawa?”

“Because you’re nice to Snow,” he answered. “And it seems to me that she likes you.”

That made her smile. “I like her too.”

“I know. I saw you two. By the way, kinain mo na ba ang meryendang iniwan ko diyan sa kwarto mo?”

Napabaling siya sa meryendang hindi pa niya natatapos kainin. “Ikaw ang nagdala sa ’kin ng meryenda?”

“Yes. And thank you for not stammering,” he said. “Looks like not being around me while we talk is more comfortable for you.”

Tumango siya na para bang nasa harapan niya ang lalaki. “Yes.”

“May I know why?”

“Because you make me very uncomfortable.”

“Why?”

“Because you are a man.”

“So?”

“I dislike men.”

Natahimik ang nasa kabilang linya ng ilang segundo bago ito nagsalita ulit. “But you’re talking to me now,” he pointed out.

“You’re not here,” she argued.

“Mauutal ka na naman ba kung sasabihin ko sa ’yong nasa labas lang ako ng kwarto mo?”

Namilog ang mata niya at akmang papatayin niya ang tawag nang marinig na magsalita ulit si Cadmus sa kabilang linya.

“Don’t cut your wrist again. You’re making me worried,” anito. “If you feel like doing it, call me. I’ll talk you out of it.”

Hindi siya sumagot at pinatay niya ang tawag saka itinabi ang cellphone.

She doesn’t want to call him nor talk to him. She doesn’t want anything to do with him.

Pero salamat kay Cadmus…ngayon alam na niya ang pakiramdam na may nag-aalala. It might not be genuine, but that was the first time that someone told her that they’re worried of her for the third time.

It felt good. It was her first time feeling that kind of emotion.

Feels good. Good . What does good even mean?

CECELIB | C.C.

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 5

“WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT?” Cadmus asked his private investigator. “Who’s Berry? Sino siya bago ko siya nakita sa hospital? I want to know every single detail.”

Tumango ang private investigator saka may inilagay na larawan sa ibabaw ng mesa niya, sa harapan niya.

It was a picture of Berry in her expensive looking High School uniform and she looked like Cherry so much. Pero alam niyang hindi iyon ang asawa niya. His wife didn’t go to a Private High School because her mother can’t afford it.

Pinakatitigan niya ang larawan ni Berry na mag-isang nakaupo sa Bench at nakatingin sa kawalan. She wasn’t smiling in the photograph. She looked sad actually. Her eyes have that glint of sadness in them.

Something might have happened to her for her to be like that now. Something happened that scarred her or maybe something already happened before this picture was taken. Maybe she was just good at hiding it and now, she was in the edge, in a brink of losing herself.

Cadmus sighed. “Who is Berry? What happened to her?”

His private investigator immediately answered. “Her name is Berry Lacsamana, only daughter of the Owner of Lacsamana Group of Companies.”

Umawang ang labi niya. “The Lacsamana Group of Companies?”

Tumango ang kausap. “Yes. That one. Mr. Henry Lacsamana and his daughter, Berry, went to the U.S. after her mother left them. Berry was just four years old at that time.”

Hindi pala siya lumaki dito sa bansa. Then, why was she here? Last time he heard, the Lacsamana Group of Companies was about to elect a new Chairman. Is that why she was here?

“What else?” He asked, curious.

“She was top of her class. But she didn’t show up in her graduation. No reason was given. Lahat ng nakausap ko na mga ka-klase niya noon ay iisa lang ang sinasabi nila tungkol kay Ms. Lacsamana. They said that she kept it to herself. Ayaw niya ng kausap, ayaw niyang may lumalapit sa kanya lalo na kapag lalaki at wala siyang kaibigan, or rather, ayaw niyang makipagkaibigan. She was a loner. No one really knew about her that much.”

“Family?”

“An orphan.”

So, she was alone in this world. “No relatives?”

Umiling ang kausap. “Her father died when she was a Senior.”

“Cause of death?”

“Drunk driving.”

The hell? “So, sino ang nag-alaga sa kanya? She was a minor.”

“Kinupkop siya ng auntie niya sa ama na dito nakatira sa Pilipinas. She was brought here and went to College here,” sagot nito. “But her aunt died when she was in second year college. Drunk driving also.”

Every family member she had was dead? “And?”

“Then her uncle from her mother side took her in. Malapit na siyang mag eighteen ng panahon na ’yon.”

“Nearly an adult.”

“Yes. Pero walang nakakaalam kung anong nangyari sa kanya habang doon siya nakatira sa uncle niya.” Napailing ito. “That was the time when she dropped out of College. Something might have happened back then, pero walang may alam. All I know was that her uncle and his son was using her inheritance money since she was living in their house.”

Nagsalubong ang kilay niya. “Are you sure that no one knows? Kinausap mo na ba ang uncle niya? Ang anak ng uncle niya?”

His private investigator shook his head. “The son went to the U.S. after his father’s death. Car crash. Two years ago. That’s when Berry resurfaced again after not being seen for more than seven years.”

Kumuyom ang kamao niya. “So, we can assume that it’s about the money. Was she abused?”

“No one knows. I can’t find her hospital records.”

What the hell happened to her? “Ahm, boyfriend?”

Umiling ang private investigator. “Wala siyang naging boyfriend.”

Is that because she dislike men? He was confused. “Is she related to my wife?”

“I’m still investigating that, but as of now, I can’t see any connection that will tie the two together.”

Bumuga siya ng marahas na hininga. “Okay. Just inform me immediately if you find any link between her and my wife.”

Tumango ang private investigator niya saka nagpaalam. Nang makaalis ito, napatitig ulit siya sa larawan ni Berry na nasa ibabaw ng mesa niya. Even in the picture, she looked sad.

Bumuntong-hiningang itinago niya ang larawan sa drawer saka lumabas ng pribadong opisina saka nagtungo sa kwarto ni Berry.

Natigilan siya nang pihitin pabukas ang pinto. It was locked. I wonder what was she doing inside.

Kumantok siya sa pinto.

No one answered.

Maybe she was hurting herself again.Worry filled him.

Mabilis niyang inilabas ang master keys sa bulsa saka ginamit iyon para buksan ang pinto. When he pushed open the door, he let out a relieve breath when he saw Berry staring at the ceiling, unmoving and unharmed.

Isinara niya ang pinto saka lumapit sa higaan nito.

Her body was instantly in a defensive mode when he neared her, kaya naman umupo na lang siya sa sahig, medyo malayo sa kama nito para mapanatag ang kalooban nito.

“Hi.” Kuha niya ang atensiyon nito.

But she didn’t move a muscle.

Tears just kept falling from her eyes, but her face was drained with emotion.

Patuloy ang pag-agos ng luha nito habang nakatitig sa kisame ng kwarto at pakiramdam niya ay naninikip ang dibdib niya habang nakatitig sa dalaga. He could feel the pain in her tears. It was suffocating him.

Napabuntong-hininga siya saka pinakatitigan ang dalaga. This woman suffered a great deal of cruelty to be like this and he was furious. He was angry at those people who made her like this.

He saw how she treated his daughter. Berry was kind, caring, loving, innocent, shy and scared. And to those people who scarred this woman, who’ve hurt her, and who drove her to hurt herself, how can they do this to her?

His jaw tightened.

How can they hurt an innocent woman like her?

Napakurap-kurap siya nang makitang gumalaw si Berry para tuyuin ang luha sa mga mata nito.

“Hi…”

Slowly, she glanced at him.

Awtomatiko ang pagkislap ng takot sa mga mata nito nang makita siya.

“It’s okay. I won’t hurt you,” aniya.

Doubt was in her eyes and he understood her. So, Cadmus pushed himself away from Berry to gave a safe distance between them.

“Is this distance okay? O gusto mong lumayo pa ako?”

Berry remained silent, but her eyes are trained at him.

Cadmus sighed. “Talk to me.”

“What for?” mahina at malumanay ang boses nito na para bang pagod na pagod ito.

“I’m angry,” he said while looking into her eyes.

Fear filled her eyes and asked, “A-at me?”

Mabilis siyang umiling. “No. No. Not at you.”

“Then at w-whom?”

“To all the people that—” hurt you. Hindi niya tinapos ang gustong sabihin, “—you know… just the people in general.”

Dahan-dahang dumapa si Berry sa kama saka pinag-krus ang braso sa kama at ipinatong doon ang baba habang nakatingin sa kanya.

“I’m furious too,” she whispered absentmindedly. “And my anger won’t go away that easily.”

“I can make you smile,” he offered. “If you let me.”

Nakatitig sa kawalan na umiling ito. “Don’t bother. That’s not happening.”

As if on cue, the door opened and a gleeful Snow entered.

“Mommy! Mommy! Look! One hundred ako sa test namin!” Matinis ang boses ni Snow habang malapad ang ngiti sa mga labi.

And like a light in the darkness, a sunlight breaking at dawn, Berry’s face lit up and smiled softly at Snow. Without hesitation, Berry got up from the bed and hugged Snow.

Berry’s smile made him smile. So, his Princess can make Berry smile. He was relieved.

“Ang galing-galing ko raw, Mommy, sabi ni Teacher. Look, oh!” Snow showed her hand at Berry. “Three stars!”

The smile remained on Berry’s lips as she looked at Snow’s hand with amazement. “Wow. You’re so brilliant, Snow. I’m so proud of you.”

Snow grinned. “Can we play now?”

“Of course, baby.” Without hesitation, Berry agreed. Her eyes sparkling with happiness and she looked like a different person to him. “Anong gusto mong laruin natin?”

“Dolls and Blocks and let’s bathe together again!”

“Sure, baby.”

Parang wala siya sa kwarto habang nag-uusap ang dalawa. But he doesn’t mind. He was happy because Berry looked happy and somehow, he felt good.

“Let’s go, Mommy!”

Hinayaan lang ni Berry na hilain ito ni Snow palabas ng kwarto at siya naman ay napailing saka tumayo at lumabas na rin ng kwarto.

Cadmus hoped that Snow was enough to make Berry happy while he was trying to figure out what to do with her.

NANG MAKATULOG si Snow pagkatapos niyang kantahan, maingat siyang lumabas ng kwarto saka dahan-dahan iyong isinara.

Berry felt calm after tucking Snow to bed. She even felt happy and for her, happiness was hard to come by. Very hard. That little girl can calm her like a powerful sedative. She wished she could keep her, but she can’t do that. She can’t drag that little angel to hell with her.

Berry took a deep breath, her shoulders sagging as she turned around, but only to gasped in shock and fear when she came face to face with Cadmus.

Just inches away. She could feel the heat of his body and her anxiety was automatically triggered.

Her father’s fist punching her body. His powerful legs kicking her to the side, beating her up until she couldn’t stand anymore and when she couldn’t move anymore, his dirty hands would undone the button of her jeans.

Berry stumbled as she moved away from Cadmus. Her uneasiness doubled and she became agitated because of the memory flooding through her mind, frightening her.

Her uncle’s filthy hands touching her bare thighs and she screamed. Pero kaagad na natigil ang pagsigaw niya nang sapakin siya ng tiyuhin sa magkabilang pisngi dahilan para magdilim ang mukha niya.

Nanlaban siya. Pilit na nagpupumiglas palayo sa demonyo niyang tiyuhin pero hindi siya nito hinayaang makalaban. Malakas siyang sinuntok sa tiyan nito dahilan para mamilipit siya sa sakit at unti-unting mawalan ng diwa. At ang huli niyang namalayan bago tuluyang nawalan ng malay ay ang tunog ng kadena na pinapalibot sa magkabilang binti niya.

Men. She abhor men. They were the only creature on this earth that could make her feel so small, worthless, despicable and valueless.

As she walked away from Cadmus, the fear of being dragged by the hair and being locked up and beaten filled her mind.

She trembled.

Scared.

Cold.

“Wait!” Pigil sa kanya ni Cadmus.

Kaagad siyang napatigil sa paglalakad saka ikinuyom ang nanginginig na kamao. “A-ano ’yon?”

“Pwede ba tayong mag-usap?”

She stilled.

“Don’t worry.” Kaagad nitong sabi. “I won’t touch you or get close to you. Gusto lang kitang makausap.”

Huminga siya ng malalim saka mahinang tumango. “O-okay. Where?”

“In the Garden–” he said then added, “–if you don’t mind.”

Tumango siya saka naunang naglakad patungo sa hardin ng bahay. Nang makarating doon, kaagad siyang umupo sa dulo ng bench na gawa sa semento.

When Cadmus arrived, he sat on the same bench, but with space between them. Sa kabilang dulo ito umupo kaya kahit papaano ay nakahinga siya ng maluwag.

Nanatili siyang tahimik habang hinihintay itong magsalita. Panay ang hinga niya ng malalim at kuyom sa nanlalamig niyang kamay.

Being in a dim lighted place like this made her feel very uncomfortable. She wanted the comfort of her bed and duvet and she was getting anxious every passing minute of silence.

Mariin niyang ipinikit ang mga mata nang maramdaman na nababalisa siya, at kapag ganito siya, alam niya kung anong kailangan niyang gawin.

Pain. She needed pain to calm down.

I need pain—

“Ano ang naaalala mo bago ka nagising dito sa bahay ko?”

Natigilan siya saka napabaling sa katabi. “B-bakit mo n-naitanong?”

“I just want to know.”

Nagbaba siya ng tingin at itinuon ang mga mata sa kanyang paa. “N-naaksidente ang sinasakyan ko. P-parang nasa a-ambulansiya ako pero h-hindi ako sigurado k-kasi wala akong lakas para imulat ang mga mata ko.”

“So, you got into an accident and you were brought to the hospital where Dr. Jacobe works.”

Hindi siya umimik. She was focusing all her attention on keeping herself calm without pain and she was miserably failing.

“Do you remember anything else?”

She fisted her knuckles.

“Where were you before the accident?”

Calm down. Calm down!

“What did you do to be in the ambulance?”

Calm down! Please! Come down!

“Answer me—”

“Pain…” she whispered. “I need pain.”

Tumayo siya saka malalaki ang hakbang na tinungo ang kusina.

Berry was frantically looking for a knife when she spotted one. Nagmamadali siyang kinuha iyon pero bago pa niya magamit iyon ay may humawak sa kamay niya para pigilan siya saka inagaw ang kutsilyo sa kanya.

The knife. The pain. Her own personal sedative…

She looked up.

It was Cadmus and he looked furious.

“Don’t even think about it!” he snapped at her. “Why do you always want to kill yourself, huh?!”

Pilit niyang inagaw ang kamay niyang hawak nito pero mahigpit ang hawak sa kanya ni Cadmus.

Anxiety was spreading through her again. Her hands cold, pale and trembling. She was having an anxiety attack, her tears falling down on her cheeks when Cadmus held both of her hands and looked at her begging eyes.

“P-please—d-don’t…” her lips quiver, “I-I’ll b-be g—g—ood g-girl. P-please don’t h-hurt me. P-please. P-please. I b-beg—of y-you…”

Berry was sobbing so hard and was begging, but Cadmus did not let go of her hand. Instead, he held it tighter.

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” wika nito sa mahinang boses na parang hinihele siya habang pinagsisiklop ang kamay nilang dalawa. “Hindi kita sasaktan. Shhh… I’m not gonna hurt you. I won’t hurt you. Shh… it’s okay. I won’t hurt you. I won’t hurt you like they did. I won’t do that. Shhh… tahan na. Hindi kita sasaktan… tahan na … tahan na …”

He won’t hurt me. He won’t hurt me. He won’t hurt me.

Paulit-ulit niya iyong sinasabi sa sarili habang hawak ni Cadmus ang kamay niya.

He won’t hurt me. He won’t hurt me. He won’t hurt me.

Seconds and minutes passed. Cadmus was still holding her hand firmly and he didn’t hurt her. Like he said. He didn’t hurt her.

He didn’t hurt her.

He didn’t…

Just like what he have said. He didn’t hurt her. He just held her hand and looked at her in the eyes with utmost sincerity in them. He didn’t do anything to scare her and to make her anxiety more severe.

He just stayed in front of her, holding her hand while looking at her in the eyes.

And slowly, she’s calming down. Slowly, her breathing became even and her heart stops racing.

“There…” Cadmus whispered and squeezed her hand softly. “I told you I’ll talk you out of it if you try to hurt yourself again.”

Her lips trembled. “I need it—the pain…”

“No you don’t.” Umiling si Cadmus saka dahan-dahang binitiwan ang kamay niya. “Hangga’t narito ka sa bahay ko, hindi ko hahayaang saktan mo ang sarili mo. No. I will stop you. Every time you try. I’ll be there to stop you.”

A tear rolled down her cheek. “W-why? W-why do you even bother to do that to me, a despicable, worthless human being?”

Cadmus looked at her intently. “There are handful of human being who’s despicable and worthless, and I’m pretty sure you’re not one of them.”

“H-how’d you know?”

“Because you’re kind to my daughter and that makes you worth it.”

Nagbaba siya ng tingin saka tumuon ang mata niya sa kutsilyong inilayo sa kanya ni Cadmus at mukhang napansin iyon ng lalaki.

“Don’t look at it as if your life depends on it,” anito. “You’re not cutting yourself again. I won’t let you.”

Walang imik siyang nagbaba ng tingin saka niyakap ang sarili bago tinalikuran si Cadmus at naglakad patungo sa kwarto niya.

Berry was calm until she entered her room.

The darkness.

The cold.

The suffocating feeling.

Her fear went back. Anxiety spreading through her like wildfire again and she immediately turned around and left the room.

She came face to face with Cadmus. Again.

She was shaking and was about to walk away when Cadmus held her hand.

He’s not gonna hurt me. He’s not gonna hurt me. He’s not gonna hurt me.

Nanatili siya sa kinatatayuan at nanatiling hawak ni Cadmus ang kamay niya.

He didn’t do anything aside from just holding her hand. He didn’t come closer, he didn’t touch her inappropriately, he didn’t do anything that’ll trigger her anxiety again. He just stood there until her breathing relaxed.

Then he guided her back to her room and opened the lights.

Nakahinga siya ng maluwang ng lukubin ng liwanag ang buong silid at nang bitawan ni Cadmus ang kamay niya, naglakad siya patungo sa kama saka nahiga at ipinalibot ang kumot sa buong katawan na para bang po-protektahan siya no’n.

As she lay on the bed, she saw Cadmus looking around.

Berry thought Cadmus will leave, but he didn’t.

Sa halip ay umupo ito sa sahig at isinandal ang katawan sa nakasarang pinto ng kwarto niya na para bang binabantayan siya saka ipinikit ang mga mata na para bang nagpapahinga ito.

She couldn’t help, but to stare at Cadmus’ face, memorizing ever angle and admiring his appeal until she became drowsy and her eyes dropped close.

CECELIB | C.C.

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 6

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER pain. Berry woke up feeling nothing. Wala namang bago do’n. It’s not the first time that she wanted to end her existence. This wasn’t the first time that she thought of death early in the morning.

In two years that she’d been out from that basement, the thought about being dead never left her mind. Hours and days may passed, but the thought of ending her life never changed.

It was the only thing that made her sane. That, and pain. Lots and lots of pain to survive a day. Minsan, tinatanong niya ang sarili kung masokista ba siya at tulad ng mga nauna niyang tanong sa sarili, wala iyong naging kasagutan.

Sanay siyang nasasaktan. Sanay siyang iyon palagi ang nararamdaman. Pain has always been with her since she was four years old. Pain and tears, her companion in her everyday hellish life.

Her void existence always made her question herself again and again. Why am I still alive?As usual. No answer. Just silence. Long and painful silence.

The idea of dying has never been this inviting. She can already feel death as she stared at the ceiling. Gustong-gusto na niyang mamatay, pero sa tuwing sinasaktan niya ang sarili niya, hindi siya nagtatagumpay. She doesn’t know why, but she can’t seem to kill herself.

Hindi gumalaw si Berry sa kinahihigaan kahit nang pumasok si Clara sa kwarto para linisin ang sugat niya. Clara’s hands are callous and uncaring, but she doesn’t mind. She likes the pain. It comforted her. It calmed her somehow.

Habang nakahiga, bumaling ang ulo niya paharap kay Clara. “Pwede ko bang hiramin ang gunting mo?” she asked politely with a low voice.

Tumango si Clara saka iniwan ang gunting sa ibabaw ng kama niya at lumabas na ito ng kwarto niya.

Walang buhay siyang bumangon sa kama at pumasok sa banyo habang dala-dala ang gunting na hiniram kay Clara. Sigurado ang bawat galaw niya. Lumapit siya sa bathtub saka umupo siya doon habang unti-unti iyong napupuno ng malamig na tubig.

When the water filled the tub, it was overflowing, but she didn’t make a move to stop the water from spreading into the tile floor. She just submerged herself and remained underwater until she couldn’t breathe anymore and until her strength was fading away because of the lack of oxygen.

Habol ni Berry ang sariling hininga ng umahon at isinandal ang katawan sa gilid ng bathtub. She was gasping for air and she liked the pain in her chest and lungs. It calmed her.

Ilang beses siyang huminga ng malalim bago bumalik sa normal ang paghinga niya.

Kapagkuwan ay pinagmasdan niya ang gunting na hawak bago iyon ibinuka at ibinaon ang dulo niyon, ang pinakamatalim na bahagi sa braso niya.

Napasinghap siya saka napapikit at kaagad na kumalma nang maramdaman niya ang sakit at pamamanhid sa braso niya. Mas lalo pa niyang ibinaon ang dulo ng gunting hanggang sa mabitawan niya iyon dahil sa panghihina.

The pain and the blood comforted her and she was addicted to the feeling of tranquility it gave her. It was peaceful. It was quiet. She liked it.

Then she heard a voice of a little angel.

“Mommy? Mommy?”

Kaagad siyang bumalik sa kasalukuyan at napabaling sa nakabukas na pinto ng banyo at bumalik ang tingin sa bathtub na nagkulay pula na ang tubig dahil sa dugo niya.

No…that little kid can’t see her like this. She doesn’t want to corrupt her innocence like what those people did to her!

Kahit nanghihina, pinilit niyang umalis ng bathtub habang gumigewang na naglakad patungo sa pinto ng banyo at mabilis na isinara iyon at ini-lock saka napaatras hanggang sa tumama ang likod niya sa lababo.

“Mommy? Mommy! Open the door, Mommy! Mommy!” Snow kept calling her from outside of the bathroom, but she didn’t reply. She remained silent as she held her wounded arm.

Berry struggled to pull herself up to sit on the sink and leaned on the cold bathroom tile.

Dumadaloy pa rin ang dugo mula sa sugat niya pero wala siyang ginawa para patigilin iyon.

She just let the blood flow and even pressed her fingers on her wound to feel the pain even more.

Pain. Too much pain and she felt alive.

Berry consciousness was slipping away when she heard the familiar voice of Cadmus.

Cadmus. The man who told her he was worried of her. The man who made her felt good. The only man who stayed with her and didn’t abused her. The only man who got close to her, but didn’t hurt her. For the first time in a very long time. That felt good.

Isinandal niya ang ulo sa malamig na pader na gawa sa tile saka papikit-pikit ang mga mata na nakatitig sa pinto ng banyo.

“I’m coming in,” anang boses ni Cadmus. “Don’t be afraid.” Bilin nito bago pa pumasok. “Hindi kita sasaktan.”

Liar. Her mind screamed. You will hurt me too. Just like them. You will kill me too.

The door of the bathroom opened and Cadmus entered. Then, he closed the door behind him before looking at her.

“…the hell…”

Berry saw how worry filled Cadmus’ eyes when he looked at her.

“H-hey…” mahina ang boses na sabi niya.

“What the hell did you do?” Cadmus immediately grabbed her hand, opened the faucet on the sink and cleaned her wound with cold water.

Pilit niyang inaagaw ang kamay niya mula rito pero nanghihina siya. Her hand just trembled.

Berry hated being like this. The feeling of weakness, being afraid and pathetic all the time. But she cannot control her mind and her body. She had been through too much already to be able to recover from the hell she’d been through and all she could do was to cry when she was frightened of what she had become because of those monsters.

“Ano ba ang ginagawa mo sa sarili mo, ha?” Galit na singhal ni Cadmus sa kanya na nagpagising sa kanya sa kasalukuyan. “Bakit mo ba ’to ginagawa? You’re making me worried again, damn it!”

Berry felt so weak and lonely and she knew she was breaking down again. Hindi niya mapigilan ang sarili na ilabas ang tunay na nararamdaman. Umaasa siyang sa pagkakataong ito, may makikinig sa kanya. Umaasa siya na pakikinggan siya. Kahit sino. Basta pakinggan lang siya.

Because God knows, all her life, no one listened to her and that’s what she needed the most. Someone who’ll listen to her. Someone who will save her. Pero ilang beses na siyang humingi ng tulong pero walang dumating para tulungan siya. All her life, from her father, to her aunt until to her uncle, not a single soul heard her. Even if she screamed from top of her lungs, no one would care.

She already lost hope. She already let go. She already gave up trying. She welcome death. That’s her only option. Death will make things go away. Death will save her. Death will make everything okay. Death will make her forget the hell that she’d been through. She craved death. She wanted it so bad. No one would care, no one will even miss her.

But Cadmus…why was he worried about her? Does he still think that she was his wife? Kaya ba mabait ito sa kanya? Kaya ba gano’n ito kung tratuhin siya? Even though Cadmus was just nice to her because of the thought that she was his wife, she kinda liked it.

Because for the first time, someone told her he was worried about her. It may not be for her, but he was looking at her when he said it and that felt good. At least, alam na niya ang pakiramdam na ’yon.

It might be too late for her, but now she knew what does ‘it feels good’ mean.

Mapait siyang ngumiti habang nanunubig ang mga matang nakatitig kay Cadmus. “S-sana nakilala kita b-bago pa nila ako nawasak ng buong-buo. Those m-monsters… those monsters…” mahina siyang napahikbi habang hinihila pa rin ang kamay niya palayo kay Cadmus. “S-siguro, m-may natira p-pa sana akong p-pagpapahalaga sa s-sarili ko.” She sobbed silently. “I-I’m s-scared, C-Cadmus. I’m s-scared.”

Cadmus looked at her, his eyes bored into hers. “If you’re scared, then let me hold your hand. Don’t pull away. Hayaan mo akong hawakan ang kamay mo. I swear, I will not do anything, but hold your hand.”

Her lips quivered. “J-just my hand? P-promise you will not t-touch me anywhere e-else?”

Tumango si Cadmus, ang mga mata nito ay nakatigin pa rin sa kanya. “I promise.”

She nodded. “O-okay. I c-can tolerate t-that much p-physical contact. J-just my hand…okay?”

“Okay.”

Cadmus held her wounded hand. Firmly. Pagkatapos ay binuksan ng isa nitong kamay ang kabinet sa taas ng salamin saka kinuha doon ang first aide kit.

With utmost patience, he cleaned her wound with antiseptic and covered it with bandage. Pero kahit natapos na nitong gamutin ang sugat niya ay hindi pa rin nito binitiwan ang kamay niya.

Cadmus sighed heavily and looked at her. “Hindi ba sinabi ko na sa ’yo? If you want to cut yourself, call me so I can talk you out of it?”

Nanatili siyang nakahilig sa malamig na tile ng banyo. “W-why would—I, ahm—c-call you? I-I’m not used to people. I have a-always been a-alone.”

Bumuga ito ng malalim na hininga. “Just try. Call me. Okay?”

Umiling siya. “N-no use. You’ll never h-hear me. Mula ng bata pa ako, wala nang nakakarinig sa pagmamakaawa ko. Even if I s-scream on the top of my lungs, no one would listen. I beg and b-beg a-and b-beg, but n-nothing. N-no one came. No one.”

Berry wanted to shrink away from Cadmus when he raised his hand. Pero hindi sumayad ang kamay nito sa pisngi niya. Nanatili iyong may distansiya sa kanya.

“May I dry your tears?” He was asking for permission.

Umiling siya.

“Please?” Nangungusap ang mga mata nito. “Ayoko nang nakakakita ng babaeng umiiyak, lalo na kung ikaw ’yon.”

“B-because you think I’m your wife?”

Nawalan ng imik si Cadmus pero nanatili itong matiim na nakatitig sa kanya.

“Can you walk?” Kapagkuwa’y tanong ni Cadmus pagkatapos ng mahabang katahimikan.

She nodded, but didn’t move a muscle.

“Can I carry you then?” he asked.

Berry shook her head as she shrunk away from Cadmus.

“Bubuhatin lang kita. Wala akong gagawing masama sa ’yo,” anito.

Umiling siya saka kusa siyang bumaba mula sa pagkakaupo sa lababo pero nang umapak ang paa niya sa sahig, muntik na siyang mabuwal sa pagkakatayo kung hindi lang siya naalalayan kaagad ni Cadmus.

Their closeness made it hard for her to breath. She can take him holding her hand, but not like this, not this close.

Her brain was alarmed. It made her heart pumped crazily, giving her anxiety. She was having a panic attack as he carried her to her bed. She was gasping for air as tears fell harder from her eyes. Her body was cold and trembling. She was terrified, but Cadmus manage to put her in bed and covered her with duvet.

Nang magkaroon ng distansiya ang katawan nila ni Cadmus, saka lang siya nakahinga nang maayos.

And just like the other day, he silently sat on the floor, his back leaning on her bed and he stayed.

Napatitig siya sa likod ng lalaki, tinatanong ang sarili kung bakit mabait ito sa kanya. Dahil ba sa tingin nito siya ang asawa nito?

What does he want from her? Why was he being nice to me? She doesn’t have anything to give to him.

She was already empty. Inside and out. Empty. Like a valueless vessel.

“Nagugutom ka ba?” Basag nito sa katahimikan.

“H-Hindi.” mahina ang boses na sagot niya.

“Inaantok ka?”

“H-Hindi masyado.”

“Masakit ba ang sugat mo?”

“Pain c-comforts me,” she answered honestly. “I—I like the feeling of pain.”

“Why?”

“It makes me sleep and b-because that’s the only thing I could feel. That’s the only thing I know. Pain. Mula noon, hanggang ngayon. ’Yon lang.”

Umikot paharap sa kanya si Cadmus saka ipinatong ang mga braso sa gilid ng kama niya habang nakatitig sa kanya. “I don’t mean to pry or offend you, but have you tried seeking medical help?”

Humigpit ang hawak niya sa kumot. “Ask for help? P-para ano? P-para pagpasa-pasahan n-nila ako hanggang sa ma-mental ako?” Umiling siya. “I-I already know what they’re going to say. That I have a major depression and I should take some m-medication to make my life better. As if a piece of medicine can make me forget everything.”

Matiim siyang tinitigan ni Cadmus bago nagsalita. “I’m no doctor, but I disagree with them.”

That’s a first. “B-bakit naman?”

Cadmus took a deep breath. “You’re not really depress, well not at first. You were first… broken. I think. Broken from the inside and out and being broken comes depression and suicidal thoughts.”

“It’s depression. That’s what the doctor said,” aniya saka humugot ng malalim na hininga. She was starting to calm down. The pain in her arm was doing its work of calming her. “But yeah, I’m broken as well.”

Cadmus nodded and stared at her for a minute before speaking softly. “I just want to say I’m sorry.”

She frowned. It was the first time she heard that from someone sounding so sincere. “F-for?”

“For shouting at you, for pushing you and ahm … for everything.”

Berry didn’t say a word. She just stared at his face.

Cadmus took a deep breath. “If, you ahm, want to harm yourself again. Remember this … you’re strong. Very strong. I know you are. Because if you’re not, you wouldn’t be alive right now.”

Ilang segundo siyang natahimik bago sumagot. “I’m just lucky… that I’m still alive.”

Umiling si Cadmus. “No. You’re strong, not lucky. Gustuhin mo mang tapusin ang buhay mo, I know, deep down, you wanted to fight it. You wanted to live that’s why you’re still alive. Suicide is not the answer to every problem in the world. No one should take their own life, because life is precious, life is a gift and you, you are blessed because you’re alive. Ang daming tao na ginagawa ang lahat mabuhay lang.

“They would let doctors cut them open so they could have a chance to live longer. And you, you’re young, you may have suffered a great amount of cruelty, but you can get through that. You can conquer your fear, you can fight those demons and prevail. Would you let those monsters who made you like this win? Would you let them see you weep and take your own life like what they wanted you to do? Because if you did, if you kill your self, they will be very happy that they destroyed you, completely. Death will not solve anything. Death will not make you feel okay. You want to get back at those monsters? You want revenge? Then stand up, pull your self together and live. That how you take your revenge. That’s how you fight back.”

Sa unang pagkakataon, gumuhit ang ngiti sa mga labi niya. She smiled. Not because she was with an innocent child, but because she was with a man who made her feel good.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “But … I don’t want to fight back. I just want to die.”

Cadmus tried to talk back but she closed her eyes and ears at him. Pero kahit ginawa niya ’yon, nanatili pa rin ito sa kwarto niya.

He stayed with her and his presence somehow calms her and that scared her. Men scared her, but with Cadmus, she was slowly adopting and her fear of him is slowly receding. Hindi siya pwedeng masanay sa presensiya nito. She was not his wife. She was not Snow’s mother. She was not part of this family. She was an outsider, a broken valueless vessel. She have to leave this house, soon.

I can’t stay here.

CECELIB | C.C.

CHAPTER 7

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 8

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 9

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 10

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 11

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 12

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 13

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 14

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 15

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 16

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 17

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 18

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 19

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 20

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 21

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 22

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 23

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 24

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 25

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 26

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 27

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 28

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 29

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 30

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 31

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 32

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 33

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 34

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 35

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 36

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 37

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 38

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 39

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 40

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 41

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 42

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 43

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 44

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 45

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 46

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 47

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 48

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

CHAPTER 49

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

EPILOGUE

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

SPECIAL CHAPTER

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

SPECIAL CHAPTER: Giving Birth to Storm

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

SPECIAL CHAPTER: Slate

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

SPECIAL CHAPTER: Summer

This story is part of the Paid Stories program, a selection of exclusive stories that help support Wattpad writers. Click here to continue reading on the Wattpad app.

Esta historia pertenece al programa de Historias Pagadas, una selección exclusiva de historias con las que apoyas a escritores de Wattpad. Da click aquí para seguir leyendo en la aplicación.

✨ CeCeLib’s 10th Anniversary Event ✨

A decade of storytelling—what a surreal feeling.

Thank you for your unwavering support and love.

Your love for my work has been my inspiration behind every story I’ve shared.

Thank you for being part of this incredible decade journey.

Here’s to many more years of stories and memories.

• C.C -

---

Celebrating 10 years of CeCeLib on Wattpad!

Time flies when the reading is good.

Ring in CeCeLib’s 10th birthday with up to 50% OFF most of her popular reads, like the Possessive Series, Mistress of Nature, Amorous Agreement and more.

Check this

reading list

now!

  ![](https://img.wattpad.com/0293b4921691f9a731f170512ec5732ebbc8bb08/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f777974426b71474d3576674c6a773d3d2d313434363038343531312e313763663933633330383165623261663936383433373233303131372e6a7067)