Diary: Chapter One

I clenched my fist at the soft tapping of a pencil eraser against a stack of exposed notebook paper, I would have ignored it any other day but today was different for an uncommon reason, I was just at my wits end with everyone. The start of my day was challenging, my alarm clock wasn’t plugged in so I hadn’t woken up until fifty minutes after the six, then my roommate threw my jersey jacket containing thirty-nine dollars in the washing machine, thinking it was hers, and leaving me with crumbles of money.

My crumbles of money didn’t work on the campus vending machines and I ended up eating nothing for lunch, while everyone else socialized and chatted with their friends, I sat by myself because my cranky attitude caused Riley to avoid me after snapping on her. It’s now the last hour of the day and I’m swimming in homework, my decision of taking very complex math subject was an honest mistake, I’m starting to think.

“X equals nineteen?” A person asked, and I watched my professor suck his teeth in frustration.

No one knew much in this class, I was surprised I knew how to figure out the problem by not writing anything down on paper. It was very complex work and sometimes, I struggled to solve it correctly. I was an original enrollment in

Lakes All-Girl Boarding School

and it was my fourth year being here from freshman status, most of the girls that attended were either lesbians or just hoping to stay away from teenage boys in their hormones, a small percentage sent to get away from other family members.

Our campus isn’t that large but we do have multiple parking lots so that we can get to our apartments if we live outside of the campus barriers. Only the most richest people on campus live outside of the campus barriers in pretty houses that their parents live in or their own apartments with close friends that they knew growing up. I stay in a campus apartment and I rarely step outside of my apartment because it’s where I feel the safest.

“Ms. Filler,” I raised my eye to acknowledge Mr. Lewis, “ do you know this by any chance .“

“X equals thirty-eight-B.” I said with confidence, feeling all eyes on me before everyone turned to see if it was the correct answer.

“Fantastic.” Mr. Lewis muttered, writing the answer beside the college-level equation.

“ She’s so smart .“ I heard someone whisper as I looked back down at my blank desk.

“ Why is she even at this school? She’s too smart. “ Another person whispered around me, I hated that they talked about me like I couldn’t hear them.

“ How did she -“

“One-thousand-and-six-hundred-seventy-two divided by eighty-eight equals nineteen. Nineteen times two equals thirty eight, bring your B down and you get the answer.” I explained with a shrug, glancing toward Trinity as she looked at me with amazement.

Trinity Ellie was one of the few rich girls in the school, she had past shoulder-length jet-black hair that were straight at the roots and curvy at the ends, she had a hairpin pinning back her bang so that it stayed out of her pace. Her eyes were an emerald green that sparkled as she stared at me, I knew she was amazed by the way my brain worked and sometimes, I was amazed by it. Trinity has a aquiline nose that had more of an upturned nose tip, her lips had pink lip gloss painting them to make them sparkle like her eyes, which had eyeliner surrounding them. Her blush was a soft pink and her mascara made her eyelashes pop.

“ Wow …“ Trinity responded, glancing me up and down before turning forward while Mr. Lewis nodded that I was correct.

“Bullshit.” Someone said, I glanced behind me to see Megan shaking her head as she glared at her paper. “This shit is bullshit, Mr. Lewis, why are we doing this? It’s not like we’ll ever use it again.”

Standing five-three, Megan was able to tower a couple of girls at the school, she had braids reaching to her back and a black beanie over her head, giving her more of a boyish appearance. Her braids allowed us to see the gold studs in her ear and her slightly-hollow cheeks that many said she got from sucking too much dick.

A rumor that spread like wildfire around the campus and it all tied back to the fact that she didn’t deny nor admit to it, she only tried to fight people who said anything about it. She always wore bagging jeans with a over-sized tee and a heavy coat, the boyish side of her was what many found cute until she opened her kisser and nothing but profanities poured out like a river.

“Language, Ms. Uler.” Mr. Lewis said. “And, you do… if you want to be an engineer.”

A couple of people chuckled at his remark as Megan rolled her eyes but said not another word, instead, she turned to face Delilah and bicker to her about how stupid math was.

Delilah Smith is the name known by many, for it be her pretty looks or her quiet demeanor, she was one force to be reckon with when you’re trying to be the prettiest in the school. She had curly hair that she dyed a scarlet red and it falls in a curly shoulder-length bob, Delilah’s eyes were a soft blue with a roman nose that was slightly pointy at the tip and a small bump on the bridge o fit, she also had a very soft skin complexion that was a olive tone. She was also unnaturally busty with nice round hips and her addiction to tiny skirts on her five foot frame kept people wishing the wind would blow it up so we could see what she really hid from us.

“For homework, do numbers fifteen through twenty-five, have a good afternoon.” Everyone hurried to get their belongs packed as I took my time, considering I had nothing out but a pencil.

I pulled myself out of my seat before sliding my backpack on and heading toward the door, I exited and glanced up and down the hall as people chitchatted while waiting on other friends and such. I slid past Delilah and her friend, Charlie, as they waited for Megan to exit the room but I knew she was busy trying to catch Trinity’s attention and get her number without many people noticing, but I noticed. Just as I was past, Charlie purposely took a step back to get in my way before smiling flirtatiously at me. I returned it with a tiny nod as she reached up and touched my exposed bicep because I only wore a plain grey t-shirt that clutched my upper half tightly.

“Hey, Hope.” She said, dropping her hand as she nervously bit her lip.

Her touch lingered on my arm for a minute and I so bad wanted to slam her against one of the lockers and kiss her in front of everyone. Charlie Onyx was another one of the prettiest, rich girls in the school with hair that touched to her lower back in blonde waves, her eyes were a pretty, ocean blue with the tiniest specks of green. She had plump, full lips that were coated in a layer of red lipstick, the dark blue eyeliner and black mascara made her eyes pop and gave her more of an innocent look than a badass expression.

Just like Delilah, she had large bosoms and a thin waist before her hips grew drastically, she was only five feet and only the tall girls towered over her. Her name also went around the school but that didn’t make me fill any different about her, her blush was adorable and when she got nervous, she fidgeted so cutely. While her and Delilah were pretty good friends, they constantly bumped heads with one another, sometimes over looks and sometimes over the available people in the school.

“Hey, Charlie.” I responded, glancing over her attire as she stood before me with her eyes casted to the ground. “What’s up?”

She wore a coral, cowl sweater that was off-the-shoulders and displayed her smooth skin from one end of her collarbone to the opposite side of her other collarbone. Her neck was free of any blemishes such as hickeys and acne, and the skin glistened with glitter from her lotion, she was very beautiful in her pair of skin-tight black, stretchy fabric skinny jeans. She finished her clothes off with a pair of open-toe, t-strap coral wedges covering her medium-sized feet, her toenails were painted coral like her fingernails.

“I’m good.” She replied, pushing a long stand of her blonde hair out of her face as it shifted around closer to her juicy bubble butt. “I was wondering if you could come over after school today?”

“Um…” I said, my eyes growing wide as my mind started to race.

‘Is she asking me out? Is this just a friendly type of thing? Are her parents home right n-’

“Y-Yeah, sure.” I said, reaching up and pushing a strand of my jet-black angled bob out of my face as I nodded quickly. “I would love too.”

“Good,” She said, turning to move out of my way as I started to slowly walk, signaling for her to follow me, “because this math is killing me.”

I nodded. “Yeah, it ain’t easy.” I mumbled, looking at the ground.

“How do you know it so well?” She asked, cocking her head as she glanced at me then turned back to looking before her.

“I just do,” I responded, biting the inside of my cheek gently while I tried to think of other things to say and keep her talking to me, “we have English together too, if you need help.”

“We do?” She asked.

I felt my heart sink, so she never see me in there. “I sit in the corner.” I told her.

“Oh, I never saw you in there.” She whispered, rubbing her exposed arm before glancing at me with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, no one ever really notices me.” I told her. “I like it.” I shrugged, glancing at her as she quickly averted her eyes.

“I don’t blame you, some days I wish I could just… become invisible to everyone…” She trailed, I looked around us to see a lot of people looking at us and I could just imagine them assuming something. “Just to catch a break, ya know.”

“Yeah.” I said, but I really didn’t know what that felt like, to be popular and everyone like you or want to be you.

I slowed to a stop as Charlie looked at me questionably, she rose an eyebrow before realization dawned on her, I gave her another small nod as she smiled and shook her head while giving me a joyful look. I stepped aside as she opened her locker and started to store her books away, I looked behind me as I heard someone clear their throat obnoxiously, I quickly moved aside as Delilah opened her locker and pulled out her backpack while putting away her school books.

Megan was holding her by the waist and suspiciously checking around her locker as if she was looking for something, I turned my attention away from the two as Megan started to get really touchy by grabbing Delilah’s ass and squeezing it. Charlie stepped away from her locker as she closed the door and slid her lock back on, I looked at her and waited as she slid her backpack on without acknowledging Delilah or Megan’s presence.

“Ready?” Charlie asked, smiling kindly at me and I nodded.

“Yeah.” I said, stepping aside and letting her lead the way.

Diary: Chapter Two

“Mom! We’re upstairs!” Charlie called, tossing her keys on the console table by the door before hurrying up the stairs, I quickly followed.

I remained completely quiet as I followed her through a hall before turning and we reached her room, she opened the door and I walked inside, quickly glancing around her room. She had a thick, black drape over the one window present in her room and it kept a lot of the sun’s light out, the theme of her room was a baby pink and a soft white to keep it tamed. I walked to her bed and sat my backpack on it before unzipping the bag to grab the things I needed out of it. 

I glanced behind me as I heard an audible click to find that Charlie had closed her door, I turned back around as she walked to her dresser and slid a bobbypin out of her head, right when she did so, her bangs fell right into her face. I sat on the end of the bed, I had only manage to get over her house once and that time was at least a year ago before she became closer to Delilah than anyone else had ever. I watched as she pushed her hair out of her face then looked at herself from different angles in the wall-mounted mirror over her dresser, she was always so beautiful to me and I always wondered what she thought of herself.

“I put on too much foundation today.” She muttered, grabbing a makeup cleansing wipe. “Everyone was probably laughing at me, maybe that’s why they kept looking at us.”

“I never noticed.” I said, staring at her.

Charlie glanced back at me with a tiny smile before she turned and went back to wiping the makeup off her face, she tossed the first cleansing wipe into a small bin beside her dresser.

“You know, you always said the nicest things to me last year.” Charlie said, turning in my direction and leaning against her dresser with the second wipe in hand. “You’ve always been sweet girl.”

I shrugged. “I think you’re perfect the way you are, everyone is.”

She dropped her gaze to the floor before turning back around to face the wall-mounted mirror as I turned my attention away from her, I must of said something that irritated her and I mentally kicked my own ass for it. I had been honest, Charlie was more than beautiful and I wish I could show her that however she needed me to. My eyes never mistaken me, she’s so gorgeous. 

“I might would of believed you if I heard that this morning. It would be better than your own mother telling you to add a little more foundation to your face, that way you can cover up a pimple.” She muttered, dropping the second wipe in the trash.

“You look fine just the way you are, I wish I could put on makeup and look fantastic like you.” I said in a stoic tone, completely joking and Charlie already knew because she giggled.

“I’m sure makeup isn’t your thing.” She said and I nodded because it was true.

I stand a good five-eight with an angled bob that was cut at the nape of my neck in the back before angling to my shoulders in the front, I have hazel eyes with plump lips that I never wore lipstick or lip gloss on. My shoulders were slightly broad from me staying fit and doing my best to eat healthy. When people see Charlie, they expect to see them dressed in a short skirt with a tiny top that showed the swell of her breast, as well as a thick layer of makeup on her face to hide the true beauty underneath. However, when people see someone like me, they know my appearance will not be something to please them, and I don’t care.

“I think I’m fine without it.” I said in the same stoic tone while reaching up and pushing a tiny strand of hair out of my face.

“I think you are too.” Charlie said, making me look at her as she looked at me through the mirror.

I gave her a very tiny nod as I dropped my eyes unintentionally to her butt, enjoying the sight of her skinny jeans clasping her round butt cheeks, I looked away and blinked a couple of times while blinking to myself to get it together. I knew that anyone else would have freaked out, my heart was racing in my chest as I was thinking of the millions of ways this could go completely wrong. I didn’t want anyone to know that I was into girls, I pretended that I was interested in anyone at the school but the truth was that I was. I wanted someone who could catch my eye and keep it, someone to please me like the others are being pleased. 

“Thanks…” I whispered. “I think you look good without it.” I pushed suggestively.

“Ha, say that after I have it all off.” She said, tossing the second wipe away.

“Okay.” Was my response as I placed my hands in my lap and sighed.

“Bored already?” She asked, making me glance at her and shake my head.

“No… patiently waiting.” I muttered.

“I’m hurrying.” She said, reaching behind her while looking in the mirror and grabbing all her hair. “Can I ask you something?”

She then pulled her into a nappy bun and dropped her hands onto her round hips, I rose my eyebrows at her with uncertainty while taking occasional glances at her big, round ass that looked so nice and curved at perfection.

“Um… yeah, what’s up?” I shrugged.

Charlie turned to face me, she leaned against the dresser once more before biting her lip and averting her eyes in thought.

“Are you and Riley… a thing?” She asked, reaching up and pushing a couple of strands out of her face as her sloppy bun started to fall out of the rubberband.

I scrunched my face up. “Wh-”

“Honey, I have some snacks for you and your friend.” Her mother’s voice rung through the door before she knocked. “Which friend is it? Delilah? Megan?”

I cringed at Charlie’s mom saying Megan’s name and I immediately because sort of clamped up because I never knew Megan used to come over. Charlie hurried to the door and unlocked it, she swung the door open drastically and I barely caught Ms. Onyx peeking in before Charlie blocked the view and left the door ajar while looking back at her mother.

“Oh, it’s Hope, it’s been a very long time since she came over.” Ms. Onyx said and my eye only twitched at the way she talked to Charlie like I wasn’t right across the room. “I thought you said you two stopped talking after sophomore year? Are you okay? She’s not pestering you, is she? I can call the po-” 

Charlie slammed the door hard as I stared at the rug on her floor, contemplating my own next to just leave or should I just wait until Charlie say something that made me want to stay. What made her mother think she needed to call the police? What has Charlie been telling her? I was curious but I knew that I needed to leave soon, that was unacceptable. It was a low blow and I felt slightly betrayed because I used to look at Charlie’s mother as a mother for me as well, considering I never had one. Charlie closed her eyes and released a frustrated groan, I decided it was time for me to make my move as I rose to my feet and grabbed my backpack.

“Maybe I should go.” I muttered, confused to why her mother became so hostile so suddenly.

“NO!” Charlie hurriedly said, taking a few steps to me quickly. “I mean… I’m sorry, ignore her. Please. I want to study. Please.” She stressed.

I stared at Charlie and part of me was ready to shove her out the way and leave the room but the other half planted my feet, I wanted to stay and talk to Charlie, I secretly missed her sweet aura that was like cotton candy to my spirit. I used to adore Charlie our sophomore year, I was new and had just moved to the area, as well as the boarding school my parents picked for me. She was kind to me right away and helped me get around but by junior year, I returned to school the same person I left and she hadn’t. She had completely blossomed and became friends with Delilah, Delilah took her away from me. 

“Okay.” I said, taking my seat once more while my decision didn’t sit well with me and gave me heartburn as my senses rose slightly, I was on edge around Charlie now and I felt like I had no choice. 

“Thanks.” Charlie said, taking a heavy breath and setting aside the snack her mother brought, we both didn’t have an appetite right then. “Now, answer my question.”

“No.” I deadpanned. 

“No?” Charlie copied in confusion, obviously confused to what I was saying.

“I don’t like girls.” I lied. 

“Oh.” She said, obviously upset about what I had just said. “I was just curious.”

I remained silent as I grabbed my math book and sat it on the bed, Charlie glanced behind herself and our eyes connected momentarily and for that moment I wondered what was going through her mind. Was she sad? Was she happy? Was she curious? A year ago, that lie would of never slipped pass Charlie but because we weren’t friends anymore and hadn’t talked to each other since last school year, there was no way she knew if I was lying or not. I bit the inside of my cheek while also taking praise to myself that the lie had slipped past her, she truly believed I didn’t like girls and that was for the best. I looked at Charlie as she came to sit beside me while fidgeting slightly, I looked at her in curiosity as she averted her eyes before looking back at me.

“Charlie?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. “You okay?”

She remained silent and with a distant expression on her face, making me frown slightly and lean a little closer to get a better look at her zoned-out face. She suddenly leaned forward and pushed her lips against mine, the feeling of her soft lips against mine sent electricity through my body as I willed myself to not do something stupid and to break the kiss. I placed my hand on her waist as she wrapped her arms around my neck while allowing me to deepen the kiss, I slid my tongue in her mouth and felt her slick muscle rubbing against mine as she moaned against my mouth. I felt her grab onto my gray top and yank me toward her, I quickly followed her direction as she laid on her back, barely missing the platter of snacks beside her. I slid my body on top of hers as she wrapped her legs around my waist and secured me in place.

I pulled away. “Charli-”

“Shhh, don’t talk.” She cut me off before pulling me down to kiss her once more.

“Charlie,” I pulled away abruptly and rose to my feet, “I-I’m sorry. I can’t.” 

I quickly rushed to her door and unlocked it before quietly departing, sneaking down the steps and exiting the house without a single pause because I didn’t want to see her mother, or her for the matter. It was so tempting but I knew the rules and for that reason, it was my secret and that was what it would remain, even against temptation.

Diary: Chapter Three

I was nervous about walking into English but I kept my head down and sat in my usual seat in the corner as the classroom started to slowly fill up, it was my first hour of the day and I wasn’t really sure what today was going to be like. Riley and her girlfriend had kept me up most of the night with their drunken racket and it had been around four in the morning before I finally went to sleep, I had a lot on my mind anyway. I glanced up as Charlie entered the classroom and I felt like the world paused at the sight of her beauty walking into the room. 

Her hair was pulled into two blonde ponytails with a cute white blouse with baggy sleeves, it was perfectly styled with a pair of beaded dark blue shorts that were so small her ass was almost hanging out the bottom. How did she leave the house in clothes like this? Why was this acceptable at our school? Because all the teachers are pervs that get to do whatever they want. 

Charlie and I made eye contact before I quickly averted my eyes and looked toward the ground that I tried to find interesting, it was the same exact tile found in the hallways of the school… interesting . I heard clutter before me and looked up to see that Charlie had sat directly in front of me instead of in the back with her other friends who she usually lingered around when Delilah wasn’t there. 

I gulped and blinked a few times as Charlie turned sideways in her seat and pretended to be fixing her slides, and I nearly was drooling as I saw the curve of her back when she bent over. She was so elegant and beautiful, she was so angelic and delicious and she should be all mine but she can’t. I averted my eyes as she sat back up and turned to face the front, it was odd because she never sat this close to me, she normally sat in the back where the most ruckus was. I hated that she was doing this, she was tempting me with each second that passed by and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I fell for it. I had to hold strong or everyone would know the truth, and I couldn’t let anyone find out what my sexuality was just yet, not until everything fell into place. 

“Good morning, class.” I looked to Mr. Henry Jackson as he spoke up while walking into the door of the classroom.

He made a beeline to his desk and glanced around the classroom quickly to get a glimpse of all the people before him, his eyes lingered on a student sitting across from his desk as she chomped on her bubblegum and twirled a blonde strand of her around her pointer finger. Erica Beckman was also very pretty but also very straight because everyone knew she slept any male teacher that was willing to unzip their pants, and that was all of them. Erica was around five feet with thick blonde hair that had black highlights in an old nineties fashion with bright pink barrettes to match her stylish pink shirt that had a very low neckline, the shit was a crop top and showed off her bellybutton piercing. 

“Half of you are failing my class,” Mr. Jackson spoke up while glancing over in Erica’s direction,“ so today, I’ll be generous and packet I’m giving you will be for credit. Thank me later.“

I mentally groaned at the idea of one of Mr. Jackson’s credit packets that were normally fifty pages long and you could answer any of them and just get a credit for the blank being filled, it was easy work but just very long work. He sat a small stack on the front row of desk and very soon, Charlie turned to pass me a packet and I made sure to avert my eyes as she sat mine on my desk. I hated that she sat before me, she’s even harder to miss when those pretty blue eyes glitter whenever the light hit them. 

“Thanks.” I muttered, flipping a page to the packet and glancing at it.

It was pretty obvious that it was a last minute decision because the questions were everywhere and had no specific order, I pursed my lips before looking up to see Mr. Jackson taking attendance to see who all showed up. I turned my attention back to the blonde haired girl sitting before me as she raised her hand and wildly waved it in the air, I could picture the goofy smile on her face as she did so. 

“Oh, Mr. Jackson.” She said sweetly and he quickly turned to address her with a small smirk on his face, his eyes rolling over her body swiftly.

“Yes, Ms. Onyx?” He replied, cocking his head while walking towards the corner of the room, where we were sitting.

“Can we work with partners?” She asked and I got a sunken gut feeling immediately. “Please.” I can even picture her giving him a cute pouted look.

“Sure.” He said, winking slyly but it wasn’t sly enough that I didn’t catch it. 

The class went into a quick roar of noise as everyone quickly picked their partner and since I knew I’d be working alone, I didn’t bother to find someone to work with and started on my packet immediately. I had finished the first three questions already when a identical packet smacked down right beside mine, I looked up to see that Charlie had basically claimed herself as my partner. I watched as she stood up and drug her chair to sit beside me, a little too close beside me, I scooted over to put a little more distance between us and for some reason, she took that as a reason to scoot even closer with a genuine smile on her face. 

She was adorable and the two ponytails were so exotic on her, my stomach twisted as I realized my thoughts were definitely not classroom-appropriate. I bit my lip as I turned back to stare at the next question as Charlie quickly copied my answers, leaning close and I could smell her perfume, she smelled like a fresh-out-the-oven cinnamon roll. I inhaled quietly to get a better smell and to savor that she was just as sweet as one, I bet she’s just as warm and delicious as one too. I circled a random answer and Charlie quickly did the same before flipping the change eagerly, I wasn’t sure if she was happy to be working with me or to just be working with someone who could raise her grade in the class. 

I flipped my page but without all the eagerness she had, she read the question in a whispered tone as I took the time to glance around the classroom. Everyone had the heads down as they worked with one another, I glanced to where Charlie’s friends were and saw that they were also working in a bigger group to finish the packet. I looked back at Charlie to see that she was staring at me, I blinked a few times and averted my eyes as yesterday came into mind, she was staring at me with the same hunger. I circled random answers and Charlie copied them before flipping her page again, I did the same and saw the first question was a fill in the blank. I randomly thought of a color and wrote it in, Charlie gave me a curious glance before shaking her head.

“What year was the first onomatopoeia discovered?” Charlie whispered to me, as if I couldn’t read it for myself.

“I know.” I whispered back, going to the next question and writing a random word once more.

“Then why did you put purple?” Charlie asked in a hushed tone, raising an eyebrow and cocking her head.

I leaned closer and had to stop myself from chuckling as her eyes widened slightly, the hunger stare quickly returning, I had that affect on her. It was odd to see such a thing up close, the way her lips slightly parted as if she was expecting me to kiss her in front of everyone. 

“Cause it’s a credit packet.” I replied in my own hushed tone. “Any answer is an answer.”

She slowly nodded as if she was in a trace as I leaned back and randomly worked down the page while taking the time to answer the few that I knew, I went to the turn the page but Charlie stopped me by grabbing my hand quickly and jotting down the same answers with her left hand. How odd that she was left handed, I never noticed it before and that was what confused me. We were once the best of friends and I didn’t even know she was left handed so where we the best of friends after all? Once she finished, she released my hand agonizingly slow and flipped her page before looking over at me patiently, her eyes lingering on my lips before we made eye contact. 

I need to get away from her before I can’t control myself.

As if reading my thoughts, the bell rung loudly though the quiet classroom and I quickly rose out of my chair and departed, grabbing my backpack as I did so. I glanced back to see Charlie staring at the desk before looking up at me just as I passed the threshold of the door. I watched for people as I made my way into the hallway with a heavy breath of relief that I was away from her, what is wrong with me? 

She gives me butterflies and no way is that normal, a man should be what gives me these emotions, not another female. I made it to my locker and put the combination into my lock just as I heard a loud yelp and looked to see that Delilah was shoving Megan away from her with frustration. I watched with a raised eyebrow as Megan rose her hands in a surrendering position as Delilah adjusted her mini-skirt with a glare, I shook my head as Delilah crossed her arms and stopped away in her wedges to meet with Charlie. 

I stared at Delilah as she passed me, immediately noticing that she didn’t even glance my way as she went to where Charlie was exiting Mr. Jackson’s classroom. I turned my attention away abruptly just as Charlie looked in my direction, I stared at the inside of my locker as the two passed with Delilah complaining to Charlie about whatever Megan did to get a reaction out of her. I closed my locker as they went to their next classroom, which I think was art, together while I walked the opposite way to go to my biology class. I was pretty much deaf the entire class and had took no notes for the impending test next week, but I wasn’t worried because I could also check someone else’s notes and get the answers. 

“Hey, Riley.” I whispered as the biology teacher, Ms. Rells, finished her teachings. “Can we compare notes?” I asked.

“Sure.” Riley said, sliding me her notebook and I quickly jotted down everything she wrote just as the bell went off. “Need me to text you the rest later?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

Riley Michelle was probably the most laid back person I would ever talk to in the school, she was very helpful and always looked out for me whenever I fell flat, and there was definitely no one else I could say could do the same for me. We were roommates after all and I knew she was still feeling sour about the way I went off on her yesterday morning, but she knew I was upset about the money. She had offered to replace it but I denied her request, telling her everything was cool, even thought I had no lunch money but it was no big deal. I left the classroom last and immediately was about to turn to the go the opposite direction at the sight of Megan and her friends coming in my direction, as well as Delilah and Charlie also with them.

“Yo, look who it is!” Megan hollered, making me roll my eyes to the ceiling before turning to face her because it was always the same jab. “Nerd!”

“Yo, look who it is!” I mocked in her irritating voice as people started to notice our exchange immediately. “It’s stupid, oh! And it’s a package deal, dumb and dumber included!” I copied her stupid smirked before allowing it to fall and walk toward my locker while muttering every single swear word I could think of. 

Dumb and Dumber, or Brooklyn and Carmen Hillfoot , were twins that were almost too identical for their own good. They both had chestnut brown hair that they pulled into a ponytail and while Brook always wore a sneer, Carmen tended to look more bored with life whenever she was around. Carmen was the more tolerable one because she was usually quiet unless spoken too first, she was reserved and carried herself with a little more class than the other two that she hung with all the time. 

Carmen and I were never friends or anything but we also never started off as enemies, that day came when Carmen tried to take credit for a project that she didn’t help me with, I easily shamed in front of the whole class and that was when our silent feud started. Brook was Carmen’s sister so I knew that she’d also not like me, but I also believe she has her own reasons unnamed for not liking me. Reasons I didn’t give a damn about and I definitely didn’t let these three ever get me down, they could suck my dick if I had one and that’s the nicest way for me to put it. 

“You’re such an asshole.” Riley snickered as she unlocked her own locker that was right beside mine. 

I shrugged and grabbed out my math book because I knew that I would need it, I was thankful that the day was flying by and it was now the last hour of the day. I was ready to head to the apartment and take some time to myself, and enjoy silence that I really needed because I knew Riley and her girlfriend would go stay at Riley’s parents house for the three-day weekend. I closed my locker and quickly turned around to get to my last class on time, nearly trampling Yandy Reed, who quickly put her hands up and stop me from tackling her. I stepped back and gave her an apologetic nod as she shook her head with a small smile, Riley wrapped her arm around Yandy’s shoulder.

“Tryna run my girlfriend over?” Riley chuckled, pulling Yandy tightly to her side. “That’s how you feel, man?”

“Oh, shut up.” Yandy chuckled, swatting Riley’s arm. “Let’s skip.” She whispered to Riley but I heard and nearly gagged at what she was hinting. 

I went around the two and hurried to my last class, I slipped inside with everyone else quickly as the last bell rung and I scurried to my seat with a light chuckle as I noticed that I was nearly late to class. That was unusual for me but I was thankful I made it anyway as I heard someone obnoxiously clear their throat, I looked up to see that I had picked the wrong seat and Delilah was impatiently waiting for me to move.

“Sorry.” I muttered, raising to my feet and walking to where I normally sit. 

I sat my math book on my desk and leaned back in my seat as my phone vibrated, I glanced over at Mr. Lewis to see that he was doing attendance, I pulled my phone out and took a peek to see it was a unknown number. I slipped my phone back into my pocket and decided to ignore it as it vibrated again, making me purse my lips. 

Some random number was texting me and I wanted to read the messages but I knew that Mr. Lewis didn’t like people on phones while he was teaching, even thought he wouldn’t stop them from getting on them. It was mainly quiet today and that was odd because normally Mr. Lewis class is filled with talkative people like Megan, who actually wasn’t present and I was curious to why. I didn’t let my mind linger on that question as I paid attention while still ignoring the constant vibrating of my phone.

Diary: Chapter Four

“Finish twenty-five to thirty and because we’re all overachievers, start on section fifteen. Do one through ten and have it all ready by Tuesday, we’re gonna hit the ground running. Enjoy your weekend.” Mr. Lewis dismissed us. 

I grabbed my backpack and threw it over my shoulder while raising in my seat, it was odd to be going into the weekend with nothing to do but I wasn’t upset, I had the apartment to myself and some quality time to get my mindset together. I didn’t like girls. I couldn’t like girls. My parents would be upset about that, I could imagine them ranting right now. I pulled my phone out my pocket and read the messages from the unknown number, the first one was simply a “Wyd later” and the second was more specific with a simple “It’s Charlie” . 

Wait… how did she get my number? Riley, that damn Riley. I hesitated texting back, I knew that nothing good would come out of texting her and I was sure that it would end with me falling victim to her beauty and charisma attitude. Is it technically charisma or would it just be her attitude because that makes her even sexier when she’s so nonchalant sometimes. 

I’ll text something simple.

“How you get my number?”

Why does that seem so aggressive?

“Riley.” Should of fucking known, the reply was swift and I wasn’t sure what to say next so I pocketed my phone as I reached my locker.

I unlocked it quickly and tossed my homework inside as everyone tired to rush for the doors, I will wait until the crowd disperse before I try to exit. It was the weekend and I wasn’t going to be doing homework, I wanted to relax and I will reap the consequences on Monday, plus I know I’m not the only one. I popped in my wireless headphones and closed my locker, replacing the combination lock and making sure it’s secured before fishing for my phone and turning on some music. 

I glanced around before starting to the door just as the crowd lessened significantly and I was glad, I walked with my backpack on my back correctly because my shoulders would hurt during my walk. I glanced over as a pink 2018 Camaro slowed beside me and for some reason, I wasn’t shocked since I knew who drove that car. Did I ever mention that Charlie Onyx drives a bright pink Camaro? I don’t think I did. 

I awkwardly greeted her with a simple wave as she slowly cruised beside me, I realized she was offering to give me a ride and quickly walked closer to her car as she unlocked the doors. I opened it but the hesitation was obvious as she cocked her head, I couldn’t see her eyes but I was sure she was questioning why I was suddenly so tense around her. I removed one of my headphones as I eased into her ride and looked over at her curiously, why was she giving me a ride?

“I was looking for you.” She said. “I thought you left already.”

“I was cleaning my locker.” I lied, not wanting her to see that I was claustrophobic and my anxiety didn’t really help, I was truly a weirdo, I guess.

She luckily didn’t try to elaborate further and I was glad as a recognizable beat started to play on her radio, she immediately started bobbing my head as I did as well, cutting the music that was blasting through my headphones off while removing the one in my other ear as well. Charlie reached forward quickly and raised the volume as she realized I was vibing to the same music she was.

“Hit you with no delaying so what you sayin yo. Silly with my nine milli, what the deally yo”

I bobbed to the beat as I mouthed the words, looking out the window as Busta Rhymes rapped over the sick beat.

“When I be on the mic yes I do my duty yo.”

Charlie rapped, making me pause and cock an eyebrow at her.

She looked over at me as I continued to mouth the words, still watching her with a smug look because I wasn’t sure if she was fronting or if she actually liked this song. I noticed that it was actually her AUX plugged into her radio so maybe she did like this music after all, and for some reason, it was a turn on.

“You don’t wanna VIOLATE nigga really and truly yo. My main thug nigga named Julio he moody yo.”

I rapped out loud this time, rocking back and forth as I continued to rap the verse at the same speed as the actual artist.

“Fuck that, look at shorty, she a little cutie yo. The way she shake it make me wanna get all in the booty yo.” 

For some reason, I felt like I could understand the feeling of looking at a cutie. Charlie was elegance in a human form and the way she was seeming to rock her hips in the driver seat made me want to get “all in the booty, yo” . I bobbed my head as I went back to mouthing the lyrics as Charlie rapped the words next, she rocked her hips as she drove and I was surprised she didn’t hit any hydrants or trees as she drove, considering she couldn’t drive in the first place. 

I smirked at my mouth as I realized that I would rather ride with her crazy ass than get on the bus, and it was her energy that I loved to soak up, she was a good person. Charlie was truly a good person but her surroundings made others think otherwise. I watched as the rich neighborhood came into view but didn’t say anything as it also flew past, where was she going?

“I hope you didn’t have any plans.” Charlie said, taking an exit that led to the highway.

“Nope.” I replied swiftly, still nervous as I fiddled with the zipper of my backpack as it sat between my legs, should I be worried? “You?” I asked in a funny mocking tone, hoping it’ll help incase she’s trying to murder me.

“Yup, we do.” We?

“We?” I asked, raising my eyebrow again at her.

“Yea, we.” She clarified, her smile so bright as she happily merged onto the highway and I urgently reached for my seatbelt.

She giggled at my reaction as I glanced over at her with fear, she drove like a fucking maniac sometimes, and it’s hot. I blinked a few times as I averted my eyes, glancing out the window as I gulped the drool in my mouth, this wasn’t normal because I didn’t have with the sexy girls or even the cool girls at the school. I didn’t hang with anyone actually, so what did she have planned for us was something I was curious to know and I was eager to ask but I knew she wouldn’t tell me. Was she trying to surprise me?

“Where we going?” I asked anyway.

“You been to the new hideout?” She asked her own question instead, and I shook my head because I wasn’t sure what she was talking about. “It’s a bonfire tonight, I hope we’re not late, it started while we were at school.”

“I didn’t know.” I told her, cocking my head a little while wondering when this became known, was this why Megan skipped? “Your friend gonna be there?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Delilah?” She asked curiously and I nodded. “Yeah, why?” She asked, her eyes lingering over to me and I quickly gestured for her to watch the road with wide eyes.

She shook her head with a light chuckle like she was in disbelief at the way I was acting, she knew damn well she couldn’t drive, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has told her the truth, then again… I might be. I eased downward in the seat slightly as I got more comfortable, pushing the seat back a little to give myself more room as she smiled slightly over at me, she must liked the thought of me getting comfortable in her car. Her smile made my stomach jump, was this what butterflies feel like? I licked my lips as they suddenly felt dry while my mind constantly pictured her beautiful smile over and over again, it was like my brain wanted me to remember how it felt to see her happy. 

“Why?” She asked again.

“Why what?” I asked, not sure exactly what she was hinting at. “I’m tall.”

“Not that, why you ask if Delilah would be there?” Her smile wavered a little as she glanced over at me and I gestured for her to look at the road again with a nervous chuckle.

I shrugged. “She can be a bitch sometimes.” And that was the pure truth.

Delilah can be cool if you were her friend, she would talk to you and even show you respect from time to time but if she didn’t hold you to any standard, she’d act like you were a bug under her shoe. She would stomp you every chance she got, she was sometimes reserved but when she was really bitchy, she was reallllly bitchy. I never really heard her being nice to someone that wasn’t Charlie, Megan, or one of her other close friends she hung around, and she didn’t hang around many people. 

If Delilah was there, Charlie was beside her. 

If Charlie was there, Delilah was somewhere nearby . 

Charlie and Delilah were inseparable but even I wondered how Charlie could manage to be the third wheel, she always had to watch Delilah boo-around with Megan whenever they linked up. Charlie seemed to accept my answer as she cocked her head and did a slight nod that she probably hoped I didn’t notice, but I did. There were times when I heard Delilah would even rain hell on Charlie, and when Charlie and I stopped being friends in tenth grade, I used to love to hear how Delilah would snap off on Charlie or anything similar. 

However, as I got older and now that I’m a senior in school, I hated to hear that shit because Charlie always reminded me of the sweet, frolicsome person that every friend had in their clique. While Charlie was always blithe, Delilah was more overweening to the point that it was irritating at times, she was completely snobby and so damn bougie that I wasn’t sure how Charlie put up with her.

“I thought maybe you liked her or something.” Charlie said with a nonchalant shrug but her attitude seemed distant towards me, her energy was becoming shifty.

“What makes you say that?” I asked curiously, I wouldn’t say I like Delilah… but she is sexy, I’m not to big-headed to admit the truth.

“Everyone likes Delilah.” Charlie shrugged again, almost mockingly. “She’s prettier and she’s…” She trailed like she wasn’t sure what else to say.

“My point.” I sighed, looking back to the window while shaking my head. “That’s it, she’s just pretty.”

“Prettier than me.” Charlie whispered but I still heard her. “Sometimes pretty is all you need.”

I felt terrible and it felt like my heart cracked at hearing Charlie play herself, she was jealous of Delilah’s beauty and it was heart-wrenching because she was beautiful as well and she had more characteristics than Delilah. She was so open and so honest, the way her eyes glittered stole anyone’s heart, and her personality was to die for because she was so goofy but slightly down to earth… I think she has some crazy hidden in her, though. Charlie was beautiful because she was always being herself, and her smile made anyone fall in love at first sight… was I in love then? No, but I was nearly there. 

“True.” I said, wanting to dead the conversation because I didn’t want to tangle myself into it with giving her compliments and washy vibes. 

I sat up a little as Charlie took an exit that seemed to lead to no fucking where. “You sure you ain’t tryna kill me?” I asked as I looked around for any sign of people.

She laughed cutely and it made me chuckle a little to. “I’d killed you already.” See what I mean,

crazy

.

“I knew you were crazy.” I laughed, smiling at her as she waved her hand at me to dismiss what I said.

“I’m not. We’re almost there.” She said as she drove nearly seventy in a thirty-five. 

The town was small and I could tell because it looked so out of tune with the world, it had acres of corn fields and it looked like a small town you’d see on movies where bad things happened. Charlie slowed and took a cut that led behind a few houses that were rundown and some looked to had suffered from some fire damage, I was used to seeing things like this because this was what it looked like where I grew up. 

I glanced over at her as she looked so out of place here, she was the super rich white girl that didn’t belong in the area but it didn’t seem to phase her. I stayed quiet as I looked back out the window to see that we were still on a backroad that led to the rural area. I looked curiously until I noticed a white house that looked more like a mansion as we got closer and closer.

“We’re here.” She said, turning into the opened gateway that had numerous cars parked into the driveway that lead all the way to the backyard.

She parked and I got out and glanced around, the forest was nearly the backyard of the large mansion that I was sure came with many acres around, but it was all acres of forest that was rich and healthy. I looked over at Charlie as she climbed out as well and I couldn’t help but catch the way her breast looked so big and round in her top, how hadn’t I noticed that before? Or did I notice that already and they just look even bigger because of that white blouse? 

As I looked closer, I realized that it wasn’t the same shirt she wore to school, she had changed into an actual crop shirt that had similar baggy sleeves like the blouse she wore earlier but it still looked good with the dark beaded shorts. I turned my gaze as Charlie glanced over at me, and she seemed to be walking agonizingly slow as she lead the way, her butt jiggled with each step as she walked ahead of me and it was hard to keep my head up. I took a heavy breath to calm my boiling blood as she seemed to entice me with each step toward the backyard, she was shaped like a goddess and what made it worse was that I was trying to fight the attraction.

We entered the backyard and I glanced around with quick awe at the crowds of people I knew and didn’t know already here, they were grouped with acquaintances and friends, I even spotted Delilah and Megan standing amongst some other people. Charlie noticed them as well and turned to me, making me look at her questionably… don’t tell me she’s ditching me for them right now.

“I’ll be right back.” She said, grabbing my bicep before releasing it and walking to where Delilah was.

I stood awkwardly there as I glanced around before looking in the direction Charlie was talking to Delilah, who greeted her with a simple glance before Charlie ignored a guy that was trying his hardest to get closer to her, that irritated me that he was so bold to try that in front of everyone, why wasn’t I that bold? That’s because I’m trying to not get caught up, right. That’s right. I put my hands in my pocket as I looked over at a small group of girls that were chugging beer together. 

They were racing to see who finished first as the ones around encouraged them and laughed as one of the girls choked on theirs. I looked back to where Charlie was standing with her friends to see that all of their eyes were on me, I sighed and curved my vision slightly to look at another group of people to see them nearly having an orgy in the corner of the backyard, I could join but not my thing. I looked away before someone thought I was being a creep and looked to see Charlie release a hard sigh with a defeated expression on her face, something didn’t go her way and she wasn’t happy about it.

I turned my head to make it seem like I didn’t notice that she was upset as she dismissed herself from where they were all standing.

“Beer?” I turned to see Charlie holding a full beer bottle to me that was already opened… no turning down free beer, it’s a bonfire rule, I think .

“Thanks.” I said, taking a needed gulp as it seemed like all eyes were watching me closely, why did I feel out of place? 

Charlie was reserved as she stood beside me, nursing a soft drink while I held my beer in my hand, occasionally drinking from it because I was no stranger to beer, Riley and I used to crack cold ones occasionally through the last few months of junior year. I felt terrible as I noticed how Charlie was closely lingering to me, as if she didn’t have anyone else to be with, she was the oddball because of me and I noticed that immediately. Delilah was keeping her distance and while I was thankful, I was sure Charlie felt odd about it… I shouldn’t had come.

Diary: Chapter Five

I bobbed my head as music flowed through the speakers, I was a little paranoid about being here because of all the people that were around, it seemed like more people were showing up by the hour. I bit my lip and glanced over at Charlie to see her swaying her hips to the beat and I couldn’t look away, I must be getting a slight sway from the beer, I watched as she rocked her hips back and forth at a steady pace that never wavered like she did it all the time. Maybe she practiced whenever she was in her room, she probably looked in the mirror and did it all the time, I can picture that. 

I turned my gaze as she looked over at me suddenly and I could tell the tiny smirk on her face as she looked away but I knew she caught me looking, and I didn’t hesitate to take another look but this time it was a glance so I wouldn’t get caught. I paused as a Jamaican reggae beat followed through the speakers, I wasn’t sure who was controlling the music but this song made me want to hug them as all the girls in the vicinity started to slow dance immediately because the song had that affect. I couldn’t stop myself as I started to sway my body, swinging my shoulders as I bobbed my head to the beat.

“Got somebody, she’s a beauty. Very special, really and truly”

Wayne Wonder’s vocals poured into the air.

“Take good care of me, like it’s her duty. Want you right by my side, night and day”

“No letting go, no holding back.”

I sung as Charlie suddenly became very much in my reach and only seconds later her body was right against mine as we danced together.

Her hands came up as her drink was long empty and she had pitched it earlier, she clasped them above her head and started to swing her hips against me as I immediately grinded back with no hesitation. Her round globes felt perfect against my waist as I pulled her tight against me and grinded harder, her arms came around neck and pulled to move my face closer to her. 

We were soon cheek to cheek as I stood behind her while still dancing against her as her brick-house hips bounced back against me. This song alone had set the bonfire into motion as the sun nearly below the horizon, none of the mattered as everything around Charlie and I vanished and the only thing I could hear was the music in my ears.

“When I’m with you, it’s all about that. Girl I’m so glad we’ve dated.”

I whispered into her ear as my blood burned in my veins with desire for the beauty in my arms and at this moment, nothing mattered.

She turned in my arms and we were now face to face as I stared at her, admiring the way her eyes glittered and her glossed lips looked so damn kissable, she was delicious. Her blonde ponytails swung as she started to slow her dancing as well, as if she was falling into the same trace I was in. Her ocean blue eyes dipped from mine and down to my lips for a moment before meeting my eyes again, it was like she was hesitating to kiss me and for some reason, that made the desire to touch lips with her even stronger.

“No letting go, no holding back.”

I muttered as I leaned my forehead against hers, mesmerized by her beautiful eyes.

“Kiss me…” She whimpered, half begged as I reached up and touched her soft chin, wishing that I could do it but I couldn’t.

I stepped back and turned to give her some distance but I couldn’t do that either so I faced her to see her standing by herself, her eyes watching me with concern and sadness, she thought I was rejecting her. She didn’t understand. She wouldn’t understand. I stepped back to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders to pull her to my chest, she remained silent and from the look in her eyes, I could tell she wanted to leave.

“Let’s get out of here.” I whispered in her ear before leaning back to see what she’d say.

Relief washed over me as she nodded and led the way back to the front of the mansion, only if things were different, I wouldn’t mind kissing her but even I was tired of coming up with excuses to why I wouldn’t take the chance. Any guy or girl would fall for this chance, probably kill for this chance, and here I was finding every single excuse to why I shouldn’t kiss Charlie. Too many people were around. I’m not ready to come out yet. I don’t want her to get attached. I don’t want to get attached. What we do is no one’s business. She deserves better than filthy me . 

I shivered at that thought and quickly cleared my thoughts as the last reasoning was probably the best reasoning, she wouldn’t understand. Charlie deserved someone who could love her better than me, she was too precious to be stuck with someone like me. She deserves someone who will make her happy. Charlie was completely quiet as she drove and most of the time, she seemed like she was zoned out while driving and while that scared me, her untold thoughts scared me more than her phased-out driving.

“Charlie.” I whispered, wanting to see what reaction I get. “You okay?”

“Yea.” It was restrained, and that made me nervous.

“Okay.” I said, not wanting to make her upset or anything but trying to get an understanding of her mindset. 

The ride was quiet other than that small talk and we seemed to make it to my apartment faster than we made it to the bonfire, and that wasn’t a coincidence since Charlie flew nearly ninety the entire way home. I looked over at my apartment and then back at Charlie as she held the steering wheel tightly while keeping her head straight, she didn’t want to look at me and I was sure she was feeling dejected inside but wouldn’t say anything. 

“Charlie…” I wasn’t sure what to say, but I was sure I was sober now and I was very conscious to what was going on.

“Get out.” She said with the same restrained voice. “ Please .“

“Oh… okay…” I said, glancing over at her one last time before opening the door while also feeling dejected now because I had just thought about inviting her in.

It obviously wasn’t a good idea so I didn’t second-think it as I climbed out the car and shut her door before turning to walk into my three-story building that was slightly ran-down but in better condition than most areas near the campus. I took a few steps forward and part of me was yelling to turn around and make this right because I knew it was my fault, but I couldn’t make it right any other way than giving her what she wanted, and I couldn’t do that either.  

“Hope!” Charlie had called to me suddenly.

I turned around and looked at to see that she had rolled her window down, her eyes looked slightly bloodshot and glassy now as she stared back at me. 

“Lose my number.” She said and it wasn’t what I expected but it was something I immediately accepted and understood because I knew I had hurt her feelings.

I had refused to kiss her in front of everyone from our school and outside schools, she was probably embarrassed because I didn’t kiss her like she wanted, and it wasn’t that I didn’t want to, I just couldn’t do it like I wished. Not until she knew. I slowly nodded as my chest caved in, I was hurt. I was destroyed but I didn’t press the emotion as I turned back around to walk into my apartment while hearing her tires screech as she speed off.

What was ironic was that she had gotten my number from Riley, so shouldn’t she be the one losing my number? Is that how it works? I wasn’t too sure because I didn’t really understand society but I didn’t press that matter either as I entered my apartment and welcomed the immediate silence. I should of invited her in. I walked to my bedroom and sat my backpack in the corner while yawning as I stripped on my way to my bed, I pulled my shirt off and had only managed to unbutton my pants before growing careless and plopping on my small twin bed. 

I looked at my phone and the defeated feeling settled in my chest as I looked at me and Charlie’s messages, the very short conversation was nothing but four messages long but it was all about the effort. She had asked Riley for my number so she could text me, she was that determined to talked me, she was that determined to gain my attention and let me see she wanted me. Would this be considered playing her? No, I’m not playing Charlie, I’m just afraid.

I groaned and released a defeated whiff of air before closing my eyes and letting darkness settle amongst the quiet except the echoing of my rackety fan that was lullabying me to sleep. I wasn’t sure how long I slept but I probably would of slept into the next day if a tune ringing from my phone hadn’t woke me up. I grunted as I reached up and rubbed my crud from my eye, I looked at my phone to see it was face up and that the sound wasn’t coming for there because my phone wasn’t lighting up. I looked at my laptop with squinted eyes and noticed that I was getting a call, from who? Probably Riley asking me to unlock the door because she left her something.

I grunted again as I stretched to my open laptop on my bedside table and hit the decline button as the tune started to play again, it was a skype call. I rubbed my face and rolled my back to my laptop as silence filled the air again I stretched in the bed while yawning, prepared to go to sleep again until I heard some shifting that sounded a little weird and that was because it was coming from my laptop. I rolled back over with squinted eyes, nearly blinded by the light of my screen as I realized that I had actually answered the call and it definitely wasn’t Riley who was on the other side.

“Charlie?” I asked in shock, squinting against the light while rising to a sitting position.

“Hey…” She trailed, her eyes locked oddly on the screen before her as I moved to the edge of the bed to see what was wrong.

“You okay?” I asked her, confused to why she looked so allured as she stared at the lower area of the screen.

“Perfect.” She muttered, her eyes never averting as I slowly nodded while still curious to what she was looking at on my side of the computer. 

I moved the laptop slightly so I had better view and stared at Charlie as she sat in a onesie, it was skintight in stretchy material that made her breast look very swell and very big as she seemed to snap out of daze and reposition the camera on her side as well. Upon doing so, I got a better view of her romper onesie that looked so tight that it was like a second skin on her. She rose from what looked like her bed and moved the device she called me to her dresser, she sat it up and stepped back to put her entire body in the camera.

She was definitely doing all this to tease me in her bodycon pajama romper that had avocados on it, any man would be drooling at the sight of her thick thighs on such a display. What man wouldn’t want to dive into the very noticeable camel-toe that sat so proudly and fat, I had to stop looking. I need to stop looking right now before I say something I shouldn’t… like let me taste you or can I get a sample .

I looked at her before averting my eyes but it was much harder because she was so damn attractive and nearly fucking naked, her pajama romper was so damn tight and even slightly see through that I could see her nipples and even the round areolas peeking at me. She was teasing me. She’s just teasing me. She knows she’s sexy, she don’t need me to tell her. She’s teasing, Hope, don’t fall for it.

“What time is it?” I asked more to myself while reaching to check my phone.

“11:18.” We said in unison, it wasn’t close to midnight yet but it definitely felt like it, I should get some extra rest while I got the chance.

Upon checking the time, I realized I had seventeen missed calls starting from about an hour after I fell asleep and they were all from the same number.

“You sure you’re okay? You called me seventeen times.” I asked, looking at Charlie with concern.

“I thought you were ignoring me.” She whispered with averted eyes before turning those ocean eyes back to the lower part of her screen, almost sounding embarrassed to admit how she felt.

I smiled slightly because the way she acted so timid was always cute to me, even when we were friends, it was something I adored the most about her. She was always so shy and timid when someone was catching onto her, definitely if she had liked that person.

“What do you keep looking at?” I asked her, actually wanting to know and not trying to change the subject.

“You.” She said, cocking her head as she blinked a few times before lightly smiling at me.

“Me?” I asked before looking at me as well and remembering that I had took my shirt off, I was just in a sports bra.

My stomach wasn’t perfect but it was slightly chiseled into a six pack, I chuckled as I realized she was actually staring at my body this whole time and as much as I liked the attention, I didn’t want to send mix signals. I averted my eyes with a harmless chuckle before rising to my feet and fixing the camera so that my stomach wasn’t in her view anymore, she pouted cutely for a moment before smiling slightly.

“You thought I was ignoring you?” I asked, wanting to address the actual answer she gave me.

“I thought you were mad at me.” She confessed. “I figured you really deleted my number.”

I blinked a few times at her confession before grabbing my phone while slowly nodding to let her know I accept those answers from her, I unlocked my phone before turning the screen around for her to see it herself. 

CHAR. 

That was it, just Char and it seemed to make her relax as the tension in her shoulders melted away at the sight of her number still saved in my phone. I rose an eyebrow at her while waiting to see what she’d say next, I crossed my arms over my chest and yawned tiredly.

“Thanks…” She trailed shyly but I could see the excitement in her eyes.

“If I said come over, would you?” I asked curiously, it was nearly midnight and I doubt she would.

Her eyes widened in excitement as she quickly nodded while rushing to grab her slippers and what looked like a duffle bag to put clothes in, I blinked in realization that she was packing an overnight bag and didn’t bother to stop her because I wouldn’t mind the company.

“I’ll be over in a jiffy.” She giggled before quickly ending the call before I could even respond, that made me chuckle as I closed the skype window and sat back down on my bed to wait for her.

What the hell is a jiffy anyway?

Diary: Chapter Six

The knock was swift and I didn’t hesitate to swing it open as Charlie smiled at me shyly before walking inside of me and Riley’s apartment, she cutely looked around her as I shut the door and showed her to the living area. It was a little apartment that did justice for Riley and me whenever we needed it, at times it felt crowded when her girlfriend would linger around for a couple of days, but it was always harmless. 

I always kept my distance when Yandy was over and not because I wasn’t sure about the couple, it was more because I couldn’t stand wanting them be like that. They were always kissing on each other and cuddling on the couch together, I guess it was a constant reminder that I wasn’t happy and that I wasn’t accepting who I truly was. 

“I didn’t expect this.” Charlie chuckled, looking around.

I looked around as well, there wasn’t much to look at and I guess that’s what Charlie was referring to, there weren’t any pictures or anything personal in the area, just a couch with a television in front, and a coffee table in between. I glanced over at Charlie to see that she was wearing her onesie still but she had put on a pair of pajama pants to keep her legs warm while she made her trip. I wasn’t really sure how to respond so her comment so I didn’t respond, instead, I led her to my bedroom. 

I walked in first and Charlie noticeably shut the door behind her and shredded her jacket immediately, I tried hard not to stare but it was harder the more she made herself comfortable, her pants came off next. I sat on the bed and yawned tiredly but I knew that I wasn’t tired, I was awake now that I had slept the majority of the afternoon away. It was quiet as we stared at each other quietly, it was a little awkward. 

“I’m sorry about earlier.” I spoke up first, wanting to rid the awkwardness that settled around us.

“Me too, I was angry but I should of known you liked boys.” She said, cocking her head.

“What?” I asked, curious to what made her think that out of all things.

“I narrowed it down to two reasons: you like boys or you’re not interested in me.”

“I definitely don’t like boys,” I chuckled before signing and deciding to woman up in this moment. “And I wouldn’t say I’m not interested, it’s just… complicated.” How should I phrase this.

“What’s so complicated about it?” Charlie asked, and it’s something I should expected but wasn’t sure how I should respond.

“I… I don’t know.” I whispered, shrugging while looking at the wood flooring in my bed.

Charlie seemed to accept that answer oddly enough and suddenly grabbed my chin, just as fast as she snatched my chin, she smacked her lips against mine and I quickly placed my hands on her hips to tell her to stop but I couldn’t. I responded by forcing my tongue into her mouth and tasting the peppermint on her tongue, her hands fell to my shoulders and I allowed her to climb into my lap as we continued to attack each other’s lips. 

She hungrily kissed me as I aggressively reached up and ran my fingers through her hair, she moaned against my lips and pushed her upper body against mine to force me on my back. It didn’t take much persuading as I fell back and she worked her lips against my neck. I flipped us over and started sucking and biting her neck, wanting to desperately leave marks so everyone would know, but I’m sure they’ll be faded by Monday. 

I didn’t care and continued to leave hickeys on her neck, it couldn’t get no further than the innocent pecking and kissing, I couldn’t continue this. Her hand started to snake down to my pants and unbutton them, I quickly grabbed ahold of her hands and forced her to pause her motion as an uneasy feeling settled in me. 

“Wait.” I said urgently, moving back as she looked at me in confusion.

“Why?” She asked, sitting up and kissing on my chin in a hypnotizing way. “I want to. Let me.”

“I-I…” I can’t say it, she would never look at me the same.

“Shhh…” She coaxed onward and part of me wanted to just say fuck it but I knew she deserved to know, someone always deserves to know.

She giggled as I moaned at her teasingly nipping my earlobe, she slicked her tongue along my neck and it sent a shiver down my spine as I reminded myself that we needed to conversate before we went any further. She had to know.

“Char… wait, Char.” I grunted as she wiggled her left hand inside and tweaked my clit swiftly before I pulled her hand back out.

“Stop teasing.” She whined cutely with a soft pout as she reached her hand to her onesie and popped the first four buttons quickly.

Her ample chest spilled out and stood so proudly that I was almost drooling in an instant, her perky nipples stared at me and it took everything inside me to not slurp one of them into my mouth as I pulled away from her.

“Wait, Charlie.” I said, averting my eyes so I could focus on the task. “We can’t.”

“Why?” Charlie pouted.

“Because.” I sighed.

“Because why?” She continued, her pout growing.

“Because we can’t, Char.” I sighed.

“But why not?” She insisted on knowing.

“Because.” I said, averting my eyes as we were back to round one.

“Because why?” She said with a raised eyebrow. “You don’t like me do you?”

“No, I do Char, it’s just…” I sighed.

“Complicated.” We said in unison. 

“Yeah.” I whispered, rubbing my face with agitation.

“Yeah.” Charlie mocked, rolling her eyes as she buttoned her onesie back up and raise to her feet to put her pants on.

“Char wait, please.” I groaned, grabbing her hand and pulling her back to my bed. “Just let me…”

“Let you what? Keep hurting my feelings?” She huffed, punching my shoulder but it didn’t hurt.

“You wouldn’t understand.” I whined, burying my face in my hands.

“Then help me understand, Hope, I want to understand.” Charlie said, grabbing my face in both of her hands and forcing me to look at her. “Talk to me, you can tell me anything, you know that. We were friends before and believe it or not, nothing ever changed between us.” 

“It’s not that Charlie.” I said.

“Then what is it?” She asked, moving closer and putting her forehead against me. “You can trust me with anything Hope, I promise.”

“ I… I got herpes .“ I whispered.

“What?” She said in shock, taking a step back from me.

“I got diagnosed last year, it’s hard to explain, I-” She was gone.

I looked up and Charlie was already out my bedroom door and just as I got up to see where she went, I heard the front door slam shut, she moves fast. I quickly got to my feet and peeked out my bedroom door to see her Camaro zoom by, my heart dropped in my chest as I thought about what I had done. I had told her my biggest secret because I trust that she would keep her world like she promised, you never break a promise. 

   

    

I hadn’t heard from Charlie since she came over and it was a little nerve wrecking because I wasn’t sure how she felt about my secret, but she promised and I trusted her still to keep that promise. My heart ached with the thought of Charlie not ever talking to me again, I really liked her and while I never acted on it, I hope she can come around and see that my condition doesn’t define me. Even if she didn’t like me, maybe we could be friends and see past it.

I kept a keen eye as I stepped onto campus, I wanted to find the bubbly girl with blonde ponytails, my stomach felt heavy and my heart was fluttering in my chest as I shoved my hands in my pockets without removing my headphones from my ears. I didn’t want to conversate with anyone and with my main destination in mind, I needed to talk to Charlie and see if she was okay. I should of told her in the beginning when she first kept trying to make her move.

I glanced around as I moved into the main building, all eyes felt drawn to me as I passed people that were crowding the halls. Ever felt like you were standing on the stage in front of a million people? That’s how I felt in this moment as I reached up and removed my left earbud and the whispers were going. Maybe she didn’t tell anyone, she wouldn’t do that and I’m just being paranoid. I kept telling myself that I was being paranoid as I passed Riley and she gave me a disdain expression, meaning something was definitely going on around me that I didn’t know about.

“Well, well, well.” I halted at the sound of Megan saying it loudly to catch everyone’s attention.

I turned to look at Megan as we stood in the middle of the hallway and everyone was watching us, they wanted to see what would happen this time around. Megan smiled innocently at me as she wore her braids in a ponytail with a baggy Marilyn Monroe shirt and a pair of bleached blue jeans that had holes at the knee, her backpack was half slung on her shoulders as she shoved her hands in her pockets with a shrug. Carmen was to her left and Brooklyn was to her right, both dressed the same as usual with one having a more manly appearance than the other.

However, they weren’t what caught my attention. I spotted Charlie as she stood beside Delilah with her eyes averted while Delilah was standing behind Brooklyn and watching closely with a face of slight amusement. Charlie looked guilty about something with her eyes constantly looking everywhere but in my direction, that’s when the bad feeling started to brew even bigger in my stomach.

“What’s up, Herp-Aderp.” Megan smirked as everyone who heard her started laughing.

I stared at her while trying to comprehend it at once, she knew. Everyone knew. I looked down to the tile flooring as Megan stood right in arms reach and what I did next I will never regret. All the anger that I felt in this moment was released as I drew my fist back and punched Megan in her chin, I dodged a swing she threw back and tackled her just as teachers rushed to break up the fight.

I had snuck a good one on her and she was livid as she screamed out obscurities and kicked at me while we were being pulled apart. I had reached my limit with her constantly picking with me and everyone else and in that moment, I didn’t give a damn about anything but making sure Megan knew that she should count her days. I wanted to hit her again… I’m

GONNA

hit her again.

“You stupid bitch!” Megan yelled. “You snuck me! Pussy!”

“Learn some respect!” I yelled back angrily. “This ain’t over! Let me go!”

“Ms. Filler, calm down. Now!” I heard Mr. Williams, the art teacher, say as he pushed me against a set of lockers and pinned me there with his portly belly.

I was feeling angry but the betrayal sensation was slowly setting in with the realization that Charlie had told Megan, she had told everyone my secret after she promised that I could trust her. She had betrayed me, Charlie had did this to me. I was destroyed inside but I tried hard to not show it as I noticed that Charlie was in the crowd, standing closely to Delilah with her eyes widened in shock. 

The crowd had surrounded Megan and I after I had tackled her, I knew that no one had expected me to wild out and hit Megan but I did, and I didn’t regret it. Even fifty years from now, I wouldn’t regret attacking Megan because she deserved it, the bitch was purposely making everyone’s life miserable and it was time someone stood up to her. 

“To the principal office, both of you!” Mr. Williams ordered. “You’re both going to be suspended!”

Well…

hell

!

Diary: Chapter Seven

That’s exactly what happened, I was suspended for an entire week and when I get back, I was on school probation that meant one fuck up, and I was suspended for another week. I was sure that Megan had got a more crucial punishment because she was always on the side of trouble. I pulled my backpack up on my shoulders and shoved my hands in my pockets aggressively as I walked toward my apartment, I was furious inside but I knew that as much as I wanted to go after Charlie, I couldn’t. 

I could do her like she did me, I could damage her image with the few rumors I heard but I couldn’t find it in myself to try and get payback on her. I was the bigger person and that was what I was going to be after today, I had let Megan get the best of me and now I was paying for it. I still didn’t regret it. However, this was the perfect time to visit family now that I had an entire week free of school, they were going to be upset but I missed them enough to suffer the bickering and whining they would send my way. 

“Hope!” I heard someone yell and looked behind me in confusion to who was calling me and upon seeing who it was, my eyes nearly rolled out of my head while I quickly hurried away from campus, wanting to avoid Charlie at all cost. “Hope, wait, please. I’m sorry.” 

I ignored her, walking faster as she quickly rushed behind me, and if I wasn’t so upset about my main secret being spread around the entire school, I would of been hypnotized by her busty breast jumping in her small crop top. Minus that, the skintight jeans she wore showed her nice, big butt that was so squeezable, that’s not the problem… focus on the problem, focus Hope. Charlie continued to stumble behind me as I walked toward the bus station that I would catch to get to the apartment, I just wanted to be alone to think about my next few moves. 

It was time for find another school, time to move to a different location and start all over, again . It wasn’t the first time this happened and while I thought last time was the last time, apparently I have to learn to stop trusting any and everyone. Charlie was someone I had thought I could trust and I should of expected that things wouldn’t go as I planned, I had hope she’d accept me but looks like we can’t have everything we wanted. It was fun while it lasted. 

I need to start a new life again. “Hope!” Charlie huffed. “I said I was sorry!”

“Sorry? You’re fucking sorry? Okay, you be sorry. Leave me the fuck alone, Charlie.” I growled angrily while whirling around to face her, fed up with her playing victim about this shit. 

“No.” She said timidly. “I didn’t know this would happen. I was just so confused and I wanted to talk to Delilah about it, I thought she wouldn’t tell anyone… I thought…”

“You thought she’d keep my secret? See Charlie, that’s where you’re dumb as fuck. You were supposed to be my diary, not her! I told you, not her!” I said, no longer able to keep my filter in check. “That’s the same hoe that make rumors about you, the same bitch that told everyone you had some random dude nut on your face for a hundred dollars. She can’t be trusted, and obviously I can’t trust you either.” I started walking away again.

I never wanted Charlie to see that Delilah wasn’t her friend and as genuine I always thought I was being by not outing their fake friendship, it came around and bit me in the ass in the end, Delilah had told my business to everyone but at the end of the day, Charlie was the first step. Perhaps Charlie was the victim in this as well but that didn’t change anything, people wouldn’t point at her and laugh about it, or look at her in sadness or pity about this. She wouldn’t have to have a daily reminder for the rest of her life, she didn’t understand how I felt, no one did unless they were in my shoes. 

I hate my life.

“T-That’s not true.” Charlie sniffled, making me halt mid-step as I realized she was crying…

“You tell the biggest mouth in my school my business and she tells everyone else, and then you have the nerve to cry like you’re the one affected by this, Charlie…” I said in disbelief, peeking back at her. “Megan and Delilah was right, you’re such a selfish bitch .”

With that off my chest, even though the pain hadn’t settled and the feeling of crying hadn’t dissipated yet and I don’t think it will until I actually cried. I will wait until I have the privacy to do so, I felt my eyes water but I blamed my anger instead of the hurt I felt. I wanted someone to pay for it and see what I felt right now, I wanted someone to know how much it hurt, I wanted Charlie to know how much it hurt. 

I didn’t look back until I made it to the bus stop, I noticed it was mainly quiet near the campus because school had started and I’m sure Charlie had went back into the school since I had hurt her feelings but it was true. Whenever Charlie wasn’t around, the things you heard came from her friend’s mouth was ridiculous, Delilah always bickered about how Charlie acted outside of school. She used to say things like Charlie was always whining for her attention and that Charlie was always begging for someone to love her, she even claimed that Charlie was jealous of her and Megan’s relationship. 

I never knew if those things were true and part of me always wondered, definitely when Megan was rumoring that Charlie was sending her nudes and I wanted to see them but never pushed the issue because I was sure Megan was lying. Maybe Megan and Delilah wasn’t lying all this time. My phone dinged, knocking my thinking off as I fished out my phone and peeked at it to see 

I’m sorry.

I rolled my eyes and pocketed my phone again, and it seemed to immediately go off again but it was a phone call. I declined the call and patiently waited for the bus to come, I had about twenty minutes before the next bus ran and then I could get to my apartment and pack me a bag to go see my parents, I needed to see them immediately so I could talk to them about what was happening. I pulled my the most common number I call all the time and put the phone to my ear as it ringed only once before it was answered and I heard slight scurrying until someone cleared their throat.

“Hey, Dad.” I said with a humored eyeroll. “Mom home?”

“Hey, kid.” Dad said with a slight octave in his voice. “She went to the cloth store just an hour again, everything okay?”

“No.” I admitted, sighing cause I knew he was going to be upset. “It happened again, everyone at my school knows.”

I heard slight grumbling as I waited to hear what he would say next, I nipped at my fingernail while listening to the background on his side, not realizing that the bus was coming until it had stopped right before me. I quickly hurried on and paid my fare before taking a seat while still listening to the background on Dad’s side.

“I’m sorry, kid.” Dad sighed, and I could picture him rubbing his forehead in disdain for me, I hated when he did that. 

“That’s not all.” I said with a heavy breath, knowing this was what would put him over the edge. “I got suspended for fighting.” I mumbled, embarrassed to actually tell him.

“What? Speak up, Hope.” Dad ordered, making me take another heavy breath as my stomach turned.

“I got suspended for fighting.” I repeated, knowing he was about to go on a rant.

“Wow, kid, what’s really gotten into you? You’ve been doing so good since you started there last year, what’s happening? Is everything okay? Why did you get to fighting? You can’t let people get the best of you…” And there goes the rant, I put the phone on mute while patiently waiting for him to stop talking.

I noticed that I had nearly ten messages in the time frame of ten minutes, and they were all from Charlie but ignored them as I looked out the window, waiting for the scenery to become familiar so I would know when to get off. I opened the messages from Charlie to see that she was still apologizing and was sending me a few screenshots that were from Riley’s Facebook page. I was curious to why she was showing me this as I clicked on the photo and saw that it was her holding a prescription bottle with the caption saying

It’s true

. 

I stared at my name typed on the prescription label and it was my daily dose for my condition, that bitch had posted my prescription on her Facebook page for everyone to see. I chuckled in disbelief as I looked at the screenshot before unmuting my phone as Dad ranting came to a close, thankfully.

“I know Dad, I should of been more responsible.” I said, it was always the way I replied. “I’ll be coming to see you and Mom this week since I’m suspended, I miss you guys.”

“We miss you too, kid. Come stay for a week, I’m sure you Mom will love it.” Dad said and I quickly agreed.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” I told him, deciding that it would be a good idea, I’ll be getting away for the week instead of mopping around the apartment I shared with a backstabber. 

I hung up just as my phone dinged and Riley had texted me to ask me if I made it to the apartment, I felt my anger surge as she sent me another message right afterward that told me to call her because it was important . Maybe she believed that I didn’t know what she had done, I closed my phone and ignored all messages hitting my phone from people checking on me and Charlie was constantly texting me back to back, and it was growing annoying, time to get a new number. 

I rose up as I hit the stop button just in time, I almost mixed my exit because I was so deep in my mind. I apologized for the sudden stop and thanked the bus driver as I exited the bus and walked right down the street to the apartment, I need to move into a different apartment also. My phone started ringing and I looked at the number to see that it was from Riley, I decided to play clueless by answering.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hey, you made it home?” Riley asked again. 

“Yeah, just walked in.” I replied as I shut the front door behind me.

“Alright.” She said, but I could tell she wanted to say something else.

“What’s up?” I asked, wanting her to admit it to me instead of just waiting for me to find out.

“Yandy posted something on my page about you, I made her delete the post too.” It’s fucked up to blame your girlfriend for something like that. 

“What you mean? What did she post?” I continued, just wanting to know how much Riley would admit.

“About you taking some pills. I know you ain’t got that shit… right?” 

“I do.” I admitted with a shrug.

“Damn… I’m sorry, man.” Riley said with pity in her voice, it immediately irritated me.

“Yea. Anyway, I’m gonna go out of town for a while.” I told her, I hope she pass the message to everyone else.

“How long?” Riley asked immediately, obviously curious.

“I don’t know.” I lied because that wasn’t her business, she didn’t need to know why, where, or when.

My phone dinged as I started getting another incoming call, I sighed as I realized what number was calming me.

“I’ll call you back, Riley.” I’m such a liar, I picked up the next call. “Make it quick because I’m gonna block you after this.”

Diary: Chapter Eight

Warning: Girl on girl scene! Reader’s discretion is advised.

“If you block me, I swear I’ll never leave you alone.” Charlie promised. “I’ll follow you to the end of the world.” 

“You don’t know me.” I said with an disbelief chuckle, walking into my bedroom and packing a bag. “Stop calling me, Charlie.”

“No.” She sniffled, making me roll my eyes again, she could not be crying right now. “I’m sorry that I told Delilah, if I could go back and never tell her, I would in a heartbeat because you don’t deserve that.”

“Goodbye, Charlie.” I said, tired of hearing her lie to me, I can’t trust her anymore. 

“Don’t you hang up on me.” Charlie huffed, trying to sound dominate suddenly but it wasn’t going to work.

I paused, maybe it did work after all because something stopped me from hanging up suddenly. “What do you want?”

“To talk.” Charlie whined. “Please.”

“I don’t want to talk Charlie.” I sighed. “I have to go.”

“Please.” Charlie whined, making my heart strings rip.

“Bye.” I said, trying to force myself to hang up because I knew if I didn’t, I’d cave into her.

“Don’t hang up, please.” I clenched my teeth because I couldn’t do it, I had caved in the moment I answered the phone.

“What is there to talk about Charlie?” I whispered, feeling my chest hurt at the realization that it was over for me here. “It’s too late.”

“No, it’s not.” She whined. “I’ll be over soon, just please… hear me out. Please.”

“Okay.” The click was abrupt and I knew she had hung up to rush herself to the apartment. 

I was shoving a shirt into my duffle bag just as my door swung open and I looked over with alertness at the sight of Charlie standing in my bedroom, she must of been down the street or around the corner because she arrived so fast. I plopped down on the side of the bed as Charlie slowly crept closer until she was sitting on the bed as well, her pretty ocean eyes stared at me with uncertainty before peeking around until they landed on my half-packed bag.

“You’re leaving?” She asked in sadness.

“I got suspended for a week.” I told her, shaking my head while also chuckling at the stupid decision but still I had no regrets. “I don’t regret it.”

“I know.” Charlie whispered, peeking over at me cutely. “I wouldn’t either, I just got suspended too.”

“Why?” I asked, raising an eyebrow, thinking she was trying to joke around. 

“I pulled a you.” Charlie shrugged innocently with a very small, sly smirk. “Delilah didn’t see that bitch slap coming.”

“You didn’t.” I laughed in shock as she shrugged.

“It’s on Trinity’s page.” Charlie said, smiling a little before letting it fall and bowing her head. “I’m sorry, Hope, I thought she was really my friend and it turns out that everyone who smiles at you isn’t your friend… you used to always say that.”

“ My mom used to always say it.“ I reminded her. “Not me.”

“That’s true, but you did too.” Charlie said, putting her hands in her lap as she nervously bounced her right leg. “And I don’t see you any different.”

“What?” I asked, confused to what she meant. 

“Your…” She gestured and that was enough for me to know what she meant.

“Condition, that’s all it is.” I reminded her. “It didn’t kill me so it only made me stronger.”

“You’ve always been strong.” Charlie whispered, reaching into my lap and grabbing my hand to cup it in hers. “Way stronger than me.”

“I’m just as fragile as you.” I told her honestly, letting her hold my hand as her thumb lightly caressed my palm.

“When did…” She asked. 

“I found out last year.” I whispered to her, but she understood what I meant.

“I’m sorry everyone knows.” Charlie muttered, scooting a little closer to me as I slowly nodded.

“It’s life, I guess.” I sighed. “I’ll find another school to att-”

“No, you can’t leave.” Charlie said, grabbing my hand tighter as I shook my head because I had no choice.

“I don’t have a choice, Char.” I told her.

“Yes, you do. Don’t leave, please.” She said, putting her head into my neck and I didn’t stop her because I wanted to enjoy this feeling.

Her face was buried in my neck and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as she reached up and wiped her teary cheeks before pulling her face out and staring at me with teary eyes, her eyes fell to my lips momentarily and lust rushed my chest as I looked at her plump lips for a moment before quickly looking back up. I couldn’t fall for this, she could still be playing with my heart. I needed to keep myself together and make sure that I stop her from making the next move. 

She kissed me and I kissed her back. 

It wasn’t long before we had resumed the position from a few nights ago, she pulled away for a moment to rip her shirt off before going back to attacking my lips and I came with just as much hunger as she reached behind her and unclasped her bra. Her breast had fell in my hands just as I went to stop her from taking her bra off, and I squeezed them with desire as I decided that I didn’t care to stop until she had decided she wanted to stop. I was sure she didn’t want to go all the way, I was sure she just wanted to get her rocks off and then go on about her business, I might as well enjoy this while it lasts.

“Ch-” Her lips cut me off as she reached down to unbutton her tight jeans.

I grabbed onto hips to stop her again, pulling back and she followed until we fell onto the bed and she straddled me as I grabbed her big globes and squeezed them until she wiggled out of her pants. She was only in a hot pink G-string that literally hid nothing from me and I quickly observed the view as the sight of her made me throb with lust and want, I wanted her to sit on my face until she squirted all over my visage. That’s what I wanted to happen by the time she decided she shouldn’t do this with me, I wanted to make her satisfied before she left for good. 

“Ride my face.” I told her and she eagerly approved by reaching for her G-string. “No, leave that on.” I said, feeling myself leaking as she seductively crawled onto the bed and straddled my face.

I reached up and slid the G-string aside and didn’t hesitate as I grabbed her hips and buried my face into her warmth, pleased with the trim she kept and she tasted amazing, like pineapples to be exact. Her second lips were just as delicious as her first set and I attacked her clit with excitement as what I always fantasized was now coming true, her hips rocked back and forth as she quivered and moaned loudly. I forced her hips still as she pleaded for me to not stop and how amazing it felt with my tongue lapping at her insides, she was screaming in no time as I wiggled a few fingers inside of her while still sucking at her clit. I reached up and started tweaking her nipples as she rocked harder against my face, was she close already?

“I-I’m about to-” She squealed as she came, gushing all over my chin and into my mouth as I slurped her until she was finished.

She slipped down until we were hip to hip and she giggled while wiping some of her juices off my chin while I had chuckled in disbelief of what had just happened just now, I looked at Charlie before laughing once more. I was in shock that Charlie had rode my face but not only that, she had squirted so fast while I always anticipated it being hard to make her cum. I was pleased with the results that she came so fast, she obviously was horny enough for me that she squirted so fast, or either she doesn’t get this often. 

“Wow.” Charlie whispered, kicking her leg over my waist as we laid in my bed. “That was the best I ever had, honestly.”

“I can’t believe this.” I chuckled as she looked at me with a small smile. “I never thought…”

“That we’d do something like this?” She finished, cocking her head cutely as I nodded. “I always thought about it but I didn’t think you’d know what you were doing.”

I chuckled even harder at what she said, I didn’t know what I was doing but I obviously had done right from the way she had acted while riding my face. 

“That was fun.” I said instead, smirking in thought. 

Her hand came to rest on my chin and force me to look her in the eyes as I noticed she was holding back.

“You can’t leave me, Hope.” She whispered, making my heart flutter as I nodded dumbly like I was under a spell. “I’ll be your diary the right way this time, I promise.”

I was hypnotized by her ocean blue eyes as she looked at me pleadingly, leaning forward and gently pecking my cheek before laying her head on my shoulder. I laid my head against hers as I thought about it, she wanted to be my diary and she wanted to do it the right way this time. I should of said it was too late but I knew the truth. Charlie would be my diary as long as I told her everything and I knew that she was the only person I ever felt like I could trust, even when I should of took this as a chance to leave and move to another place.

“You’re my diary.” I whispered to her, pecking her forehead. “And I’m yours.”

“Well, I have an entry.” Charlie chuckled. “Dear diary, I met this really fine girl that gave me the best head ever.” We both laughed.

“Okay, now it’s my turn.

Dear diary…

“ I paused as I thought of what to say. “ I met this girl at school… and the first thing I fell in love with were her ocean blue eyes. “

                                            

The End

Author’s Note:

HSV(Herpes Simplex Virus) affects nearly 12% of the US Population, 12% that faces the lifelong duty of taking medication and sometimes, therapy. Sexually transmitted, wearing a condom is probably the second smartest thing you can do when it comes to intercourse, ABSINENCE being the first smartest. Trust that you’re protecting yourself and others by wearing protection such as a condom. If you are like me, and have become a victim to HSV or made contact with someone who has HSV,

please

get checked and know that there are support groups and other people that are here for you. HSV doesn’t display symptoms in everyone, there’s no need to risk your safety or someone else’s…

National Herpes Hotline

(919) 361-8488

We are the victims.