Chapter One

Bursts of energy coating the sky in a array of light, so bright that it seemed so white and pure to the touch… to the human eye, to my delicate eyes. The warmth coated my skin with goose bumps, or maybe it was my arrector pili muscles going out of control and making my tiny hairs spike up. The soft aura of light peeked from behind a thick pearly cloud and it was as if the landscape relaxed, the light cascaded it’s waves of energy over the grass, making it brighter and healthier-looking. The shiny pole in the distance glistened, as well as the useless water fountains in the middle of the dirty rest area. A rest area with no seats, broken water fountains, chipped or missing tiles, and moldy trees providing little shade, a horrible sight that hurt’s the human eyes, my delicate eyes. It makes me forget…

“Honey?”

The hue of the world is fascinating when it’s not so contaminated… contaminated with dumb people. Like those wanna-be Nicki Minajs or those dumb, idiotic, fake-ass stupid

cunts

that are walking sex-toys to all the guys at this dumb-ass, stupid fake-ass school. All those motherfuckers are…

“Honey?”

Those stupid fuckers that think they’re so good, while their failing and secretly wishing life was easy. Those bastards who wish they could have me deep down, only if I was prettier… thinner… sexie..

“Honey!”

I almost jumped out of my chair as I quickly snapped my head to look at Mr. Lanson as he rose an eyebrow while holding a piece of chalk in his brown hand. I blinked a couple of times and nervously licked my slightly dry lips, I looked at him in confusion as he sat his white chalk down and crossed his arms.

“Yes?” I asked.

A snicker escaped from someone towards the far right of the room and everyone started to laugh at me as I lowered my eyes to my desk then back at Mr. Lanson. He started to open his mouth as the laughing continued while someone made a joke I didn’t hear.

“Mr. Lanson.” A monotone voice came over the speaker. “We need Honey Basset to report to the office… now, she’s checking out.”

My eyebrows immediately caved in confusion as I slowly, unsurely climbed to my feet and closed my notebook that had nothing written on it, not even an X, Y, or Z to solve an algebra matrices. I opened my OCD organized bookbag and pushed my notebook in and closed it back while picking up my binder and plastic rectangular, bright red pencil pouch. I slid my backpack on while glancing around the room to see everyone still staring at me. I lowered my head sheepishly as I pushed my chair in and started toward the door, I quickly paused.

“Do we have any homework?” I asked Mr. Lanson, he cocked me a very tiny side smile.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said, shooing me away while turning back to face the class.

I nodded before turning and walking up to the door, I pushed it open and closed it behind me as I glanced up and down the mostly dark hallway of the school, the walls were crumbling and the graffiti on the rows of unused lockers was devastating. I hated this school with a passion, I don’t know if it was the dumb hoodrats or the idiotic people, a mostly black school that dealt with drugs, sex, and the police. All those things in one setting was too much for me, I constantly thought about ways this could affect my future, why was I stuck here anyway? I’m the smartest at this school and I deserved better than this, however, this was all that better was. The office’s door came up in the view as I rounded a corner, I slowly crept to a stop as the door opened and Jackie stepped out, Jackie is my auntie and with her was my Mom. I stared on as I started to walk a little more while nervously looking up the halls, I didn’t want anyone to see my family because we weren’t perfect, not one bit.

“Come on.” Jackie wrapped her arm around my shoulder and led me out as I stared at them in confusion. “I’ll tell you in the car.”

I nodded while the curiosity in me caved at my heart and mind, I wanted to know because I never got checked out, it was almost impossible for that to ever happen. I pursed my lips as we exited the school through the front doors and passed the hoodrats of the school, those dumbass motherfuckers. I glanced at the crowd in disgust because I pitied them, I pitied the girls that were nothing but sluts to those boys, they didn’t want them girls, they probably wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole, their ten foot poles. Then again, some of them probably already have and that’s just wrong, that’s just disgusting! Sex wasn’t knew to me, I knew what it was and what it was about, often fantasized about that too. The crowd was constructed of seven people that I hated from the pit in my acidic stomach, Asiah was a total bitch that had no class and she loved to fight. This bitch was completely ghetto and obnoxiously loud, she had her weave in a nappy bun and it looked like it needed to come down immediately. She wore a pair of bleached denim jeans that were a size way to small but she did have a romp, so I guess whatever works. To go with her bleached jeans, she wore a sparkly 00 jersey in the fashion of a crop and a cheap baseball jacket that she probably got from the flea market that was awfully familiar looking. She wore a pair of fake Timberlands and black socks that went almost to her knees over her jeans, a really horrifying sight.

Next was Shaniqua but everyone called her Shay for short, everyone but me, she had her weave extending down her shoulders with weak curls that looked ridiculous. Shaniqua make up was layered thickly on her face and her fake nails were painted a ugly green that didn’t match the hot pink shades of hair in her head. She wore a red belly shirt that showed off her belly piercing and over it she had a black crop bubbled-jacket. Shaniqua’s lipstick was a little smudged and it made me wonder if the rumors of her sucking dick in the bathrooms for fame were true. Shaniqua wore a pair of black jeans that were also a size to small and a pair of worn plain, black Adidas that had more of an Wi-Fi logo, meaning they were fake. The girls had a horrible reputation for doing that type of shit, they were truly ugly on the inside and to make it worse, they hated me like everyone else. Honestly, it didn’t hurt me, if anything, it makes me feel good because I don’t have all drama and enemies in my sacred world.

After those ratchet two were Gee-Gee, Gorvel was her real name but everyone knew she hated her name, and she was worse than Asiah when it came to fighting. The girl fought everyday if not every hour, it was always drama circling her and to make it worse, she got to physical fights with Asiah more than five times already during their one year friendship. Gee-Gee wore a multi-colored pair of leggings with a short shirt that stopped at her midsection, her leggings had a hole in the knee from where she got snagged on something, no telling what. Gee-Gee’s hair was mostly shaven off but she wore wigs most times, the wigs were shabby and probably stolen like the rest of the things the girls wore. With Gee-Gee’s outfit, she wore what she called KD’s, the print was so worn and the sole was probably missing on the insides. She had pimples raining down over her forehead and decided to not cover them with 100+ coatings of foundation. While the girls were the worst, the four guys weren’t to far from them, especially one that rarely came to school. While the girls were disgusting and trash, one of the four guys were cute and he was one you fantasized about wanting to have sex with, I have before and I probably will again… I always do. The first guy was the most popular in school, he was cute but not as cute as Mr. Mysterious that everyone wanted to fuck, even me. Melvin was a decent looking guy, when you got past the ugly tattoo on his jaw, it was a middle finger but the detail was bullshit, horrible as fuck. He had a fade with a line cutting in a curve close to his temple, a trending hairstyle at the moment in the school, and he didn’t start that trend either.

Melvin wore a pretty simple outfit, a large black tee and a pair of sagging denim jeans that showed his bright blue boxers and a pair of real Adidas, thank goodness. I couldn’t blame the girls for wearing fake clothing, Adidas cost almost four-hundred dollars in town and that’s just from the major flea market, for fake Adidas! Melvin had an attitude like no one you’d ever meet in the school, he sits his ass on a gold throne and act like he runs the school but that’s only when Mr. Mysterious isn’t showing his face. Next in line is Darrion but everyone calls him DJ because he’s very good at beatboxing and stuff like that but that’s it, he has no brain, it’s just completely gone. He always wear a pair of fake Timberlands with a polo of some color, while he had a good taste in clothes sometimes, it made me wonder how he got them other than stealing, then again, there was no other way. His Mohawk fade needed a touch-up and the shining gold chain necklace around his neck was 100%… you can guess, fake. The semi-cute Keshawn was cuter than Darrion but worse than the girls, he had no filter when it came to words and whatever came to his head, he’d say. Today, he wore a pair of grey Jordan’s with saggy jeans and a cotton white belt, as well as a large grey tee that looked good on him, he was buffy like the rest of the guys and he showed it proudly. Keshawn’s hair was styled in the same trend as Melvin and he wore it better than him, another cute thing was his goatee that he kept short, like Mr. Mysterious as well.

DeQuan is more calm of them all but he’s also the fighter in the group, as well as Mr. Mysterious sometimes. DeQuan had a natural fuckboy look to him, he wore a large black tee and saggy pants with his pants folding over the entrance of his KDs. He had a tapered fade with his afro, it was a cool design on the back of his head in an OK shape but I didn’t know what it mean, but the detail of it was still cool. Lastly was Mr. Mysterious himself, aka Kasmin and he was finer than fine… sexier than sexy… he was hot! Kasmin was a boy name when pronounced the right way, he had a high tapered fade with a semi-curly afro, the natural no-good boy. Kasmin was a handsome guy with a light complexion and blemish-free face, as well as a sexy tiny goatee and thin mustache at the top of his upper lip, he was sexy as hell. Just like the other four guys, Kasmin was buffy and would make any girl of any age drop her panties at the snap of a finger, he was irresistible. While he wasn’t with the group today, I was a little happy that I got to leave early, for what reason… I still didn’t know.

My feet carried me closer to Aunt Jackie’s car as I spotted a head pop up, Jaden’s large smile followed as I flashed my five year old baby brother a tiny, side smile. He opened the door as I made it and I climbed in while closing the backseat door behind me, I glanced over while reaching for my seatbelt to see the group staring at me. I stared for a millisecond before looking away to click my seatbelt, I saw Asiah curl her lip in disgust my way before swaying her hair and flipping it in a “dissing” way. I just ignored her and looked forward as Jackie climbed in and Mama did too, I wanted to know what was happening but I knew to be patient, it’s what keeps this world going… other than gravity and Earth’s orbit itself.

“…It’s ridiculous, it’s been months and for some reason I just, can’t get over us*…”

“Somethin’ na eat?” Jaden asked, sitting in the middle with his seatbelt on because I made him.

“Yea, what you want?” Jackie asked, making me look at her with uncertainty, she rarely agreed to let us get fast food.

“McNona!” Jaden quickly said while pointing drastically at the building as it came up slowly in the distance ahead of us.

“Any other choices?” Jackie asked, glancing over at Mama as she stayed silent in the passenger seat. “McDonald’s then.”

“…No more walking around, with my head down. I’m so over being blue, crying over you…”

“What’s wrong, Jackie? What’s going o-” I started.

“Shut up, Honey.” Mama broke in, shooting me a hatred glare as I stared at her in confusion.

“Leave her alone, Unique, it’s not her damn fault.” Rarely did Auntie Jackie ever cuss.

“It is her damn fault,” She turned her attention back on me with anger,“ you dumb bitch, you ran your motherfucking mouth, didn’t you!“

“What are you talking about!?” I said in shock, staring at Mama as she made a mad grab for me but missed as Jackie pushed her back.

“The house was raided this morning, right when your ass left for school, dumb hoe!”

I stared at Mama as she called me faulty things that I knew I wasn’t, her rant went on about how I wasn’t her child and she was going to sell me to her pimp to make up for what I cost her. All her coke, money, and marijuana was gone and I owed it all back to her, get the fuck out of here with that bullshit. I just let her rant because I could care less, the dopehead will be sleeping in a matter of minutes or twitching while whispering under her breath. I stared out the window as she went on and on until we pulled into McDonald’s driveway and started ordering.

“What do you wanna eat, Honey?”

“Nothing.” I stated, still staring out the window.

“… and one more ten piece and that’ll be all… with a Caramel Frappe.” Jackie ordered, waiting to hear the total. “Alright, dopehead, pass it here.”

Mama grumbled and passed a wad of crumbled cash over before crossing her arms agitatedly.

“You’re mom’s going to rehab… again.” I pursed lips, it was out of joy but I couldn’t show them that.

This was the third time Mama was going to rehab, whenever she went, we were passed to Aunt Jackie and stayed with her until Mama got her act together, life was so much better with Aunt Jackie.

“For how long?” I asked, glancing at the back of Mama’s head before looking back out the window.

“… Said I’m so sick of love songs, so sad and slow. So why can’t I turn off the radio?…”

“Until she gets better… for good this time.” That probably meant forever if possible.

I leaned my head against the door as it dawned on me once more, I’m going to be alone again, I have no friends and a brother that gets on my nerves sometimes, as well as a workaholic auntie. I pursed my lips, which I’ve grown fond of doing a lot lately, and closed my eyes as we pulled up to the first window and Auntie Jackie handed Mama’s money to the cashier. I glanced over at Jaden as he bounced excitedly, he knew that we were going to be staying with Auntie very soon and he loved it there. Don’t get me wrong, I like it there too but it’s farther from the school so I would have to take the train, which makes it that I have to get up way earlier than usual. See how that affects me! I smiled at him as he gave me a cheesy grin, I don’t blame him tough, Mama’s a complete bitch to both of us and I’d rather she take it out all on me and not him.

“Right now, I can’t take you guys.” My smile slowly dissipated as I heard Jackie say those things. “But, when I get back from Atlanta, I’ll come get you. In the meantime, your mom is going to be at home and you’re still going to stay with her.”

“How long is that suppose to be?” I asked, turning my attention away from Jaden as his energy left his body in the snap of a finger and he sagged back against the seat in defeat.

“Month and a half… or two, it’s your other Auntie, she’s fucking her life up too.” Auntie Jackie said, glancing over at Mama with a nasty glare, she loves Mama but she hates her too.

“ Damn …“ I said loudly, making sure she heard me.

“Honey… language.” She said as she was handed our food.

“Sorry.” I commented with no emotion, it was bullshit, like everything else was.

She shook her head as she took the parking lot exit and passed the food bag back to me, I grabbed it as Jaden went to reach for it, he whined impatiently as I sat the bag on my lap and pulled out his cheeseburger. I unwrapped it and shoved the wrapper back into the bag before handed it to him carefully, he happily accepted it and took a large bite as I accepted my Caramel Frappe from Auntie Jackie. I luckily knew how to fend for myself, how do you think I’ve gained this slightly chubby figure of my own… maybe because I’m shorter than average people… yeah, that’s probably another factor to add to it. I knew how to cook and clean up after myself to avoid having mayhem happen eventually, I also knew how to do the same for Jaden just incase I had to watch over him as well. I then pulled out my box of food and opened it to see the individual pieces of fried chicken, my stomach growled and churned in agony at the sight of it, I’m starving at the moment. I glanced over at Jaden to see him wolfing down another bite and frowned, I used my thigh to bump him with a motherly glare, a glare that told him to slow down before he choked. He gave me back a glare as he lifted his burger to his mouth and shoved more into his mouth, I felt the corner of my lip twitch in aggravation.

His hands were covered in mustard, as well as the lap of his black pants that Auntie Jackie bought him not to long ago. He looked up at me with a smug smile because he knew it aggravated me when he didn’t listen to me. I dug into my food as Auntie Jackie pulled up to Mama’s apartment, just from the outside, I could easily tell the rent should be free. It wasn’t the best but I had to be glad that I had it, and that I didn’t have to hop from friend’s house to friend’s house like some of the girls at my school. I opened the door as I stored the food I hadn’t ate in the bag for later, I never ate leftovers, I just left them for Jaden if I didn’t feel like cooking or for Mama to eat when she got the munchies. I survived out of my own spirit, there were times when I wanted to cave in and just stop living the way I was, to run away and start getting money the easier way. However, then I remember that I had a child watching my every move, believe it or not.

“What the fuck, Jaden!” Mama screamed angrily, balling her fist up as he tried to quickly step behind me.

I moved aside to see what was wrong, only find the big wet spot in his pants as he clutched his hands in front of his pants in embarrassment, his bottom lip was poked out and his eyes were glassy, he was about to cry. While I was angry at him because I was going to be scrubbing piss out of Auntie Jackie’s leather’s car seat, I knew that it was something Jaden couldn’t control at the moment, he was still getting the hang of holding his urine until he got to the bathroom. I reached down and grabbed his hand as he started to mewl and used his unoccupied hand to reach up and wipe his eye, he’ll be okay.

“I’ll get him cleaned up.” I stated.

I didn’t wait for anyone to object as I turned and walked Jaden into the apartment, I led him straight to the bathroom and locked the door behind us for the sake of Mama coming in and raging about shit like she always does. I walked over to the tub and turned the faucet as the pipes in the wall croaked while water flooded through them and into the tub. While it was filling up, I walked over to Jaden and helped him strip as he wiped his face while still mewling.

“Hush, Jaden, you’re not in trouble.” I huffed, tossing the soaked black toddler pants aside as he walked over to me nude. “Where did your diaper go?”

“No give one.” He whined as he tried to climb onto my lap.

Someone else would of been pissed that a pissy baby was climbing on you but I didn’t mind because Jaden was my brother and I loved him for his every adorable moment and his every flawed moment. I lifted him up and hugged him close to me before twisting my body and setting him in the lukewarm water, I then reached forward and grabbed Mama’s favorite bar of soap and started to scrub him down with it, that’ll show her. The subs immediately started to form as I flicked some water on his shoulders and stomach then started to run the bar of soap over his abdomen. I glanced at the door as I heard yelling coming from the living room, of course those to were into it and it was probably about Darnell, Mama’s so called… boo. He came over here and there and they’d fuck, then he’d leave and not show until the next day, and they stayed into it constantly. I think he was the one who provided Mama the drugs and constantly made sure she stayed well supplied with them.

“I love you, Sisa.” I heard Jaden say, I smiled.

“I love you too, big head boy.” I chuckled as I reached to the sink and grabbed his little basketball for him to shoot in the shower hoop that was over the faucet.

• So Sick Ne-Yo

Word Count: 3941

Chapter Two

I rinsed Jaden carefully and made sure all the soap was gone around his crotch before pulling him out the tub while he was dripping wet, I grabbed a dingy-white towel and wrapped it around his small body. He clutched his ball and I smiled while holding my hand out for it, he handed it over and I twisted my body a little to face the goal and threw it, I even shocked myself when it went in.  Jaden jumped in excitement as I laughed in amusement, I actually made the shot! I wiped Jaden dry while getting off my knees from in front of him as we were face to face, I lifted him in my arms with the towel still wrapped around him. I went to the door and unlatched it before pulling it open and pushing it out the way while stepping out the bathroom, I glanced down the hall to find the living room empty, Auntie Jackie must of left already. I walked straight to Jaden’s room and sat him down on the bed while walking over to his stack of training diapers, I grabbed one while opening his drawer and finding something for him to wear. I grabbed a pair of socks and tossed them on the bed with one of the training diapers from his stack, I walked back over while picking up a pair of dirty socks and throwing them toward his dirty clothes pile, which was slowly growing bigger.

“Honey.” I turned to face Mama as she leaned against the threshold, holding a flamed joint while staring out the window.

“What?” I asked, catching her attention.

“I’ma need hundred dollars.”

I went back to looking for something to put on Jaden that would go with his red polo shirt without answering her.

“Hello, I’m talking to you.” She snapped, fixing her posture as I turned my head to look at her once more.

“I don’t have any money.” I told her snappily.

She glared at me and I glared back until she turned and stopped off, the sound of her door slamming made Jaden jump as he watched the little altercation from the bed. I shook my head as I took a seat on the bed with a his polo shirt and some stretchy pants, he looked up at me and I smiled to reassure him everything was okay. Jaden was going to be a smart little guy that already knew how to walk by seven months, how to draw by nine months even if they were just scribbles, and how to bite off a burger by nine months as well. I heard Mama’s door open again and I could hear her heavy stumps as she came toward Jaden’s bedroom, where she knew I’d be.

“Go to River Park and get me a pound.” I stared at the flying twenties as she threw them at me.

“No.” I said boldly, standing up to hold my ground

“What?” She asked dangerously, taking a step to me while cocking her head a little closer to hear me repeat myself.

“I said n-”

Jaden followed me as I stepped off the curb of the street while glancing up and down the road to make sure no cars were coming while I passed through, school was already out and I knew that the dealers would be here by now. River Park used to be very popular but after the almost 24/7 water park opened, it was where everyone would go and it became abandoned slowly. Many drug lords tried to claim it as theirs but there was only so much room to take because the territory was already claimed, it was already taken before it was abandoned. I glanced around as the day started to darken, the sun had just set and it was starting to get chilly out, I looked back to see if Jaden was following me and surely he was. I reached my hand out and he quickly latched to it as we walked the length of the park until I was able to look at the lingering bodies close to a lit LED streetlight. The hue of the light casted long shadows as I stared them down while slowly moving closer, making sure to be careful not to scare them incase they had a gun or knife. I paused and lifted Jaden up onto my hip and moved closer as their talking got louder. 

"... yeah, her ass is fatter than a 
motherfuck'a
!" One of the three guys standing under the streetlight said. 

I immediately recognized it as Darrion with his loud ass mouth, he was wearing a light black jacket with a beanie that read HOOD on the flap, as well as a pair of saggy grey sweatpants. He had a black t-shirt under his thin black jacket and a pair of black timberlands. 

"But was she a good fuck tho?" Another guy asked as they all laughed at his question.

"Naw, but she can suck some dick." Darrion said. 

"Kandy sucked my dick in Fred's, remember that shit, man?" The guy said, he was someone I never saw before so I assumed he was a street friend to Darrion.

The guy had dreads that reached all the way down to his back with the sides tapered off, he had two teardrop tattoos under his chocolate eyes with a nice, sexily sculpted jaw. His caramel skin looked rugged but he was sexy with thin but plump lips, he was nicely built the rest of the guys that circled themselves around the drug lords, built for protection and I was positive he had a gun or something on him. And like every other protective guy, he's probably been "shot more than three times, stabbed more than twice, and shot 
at
 more than a ten times before". I moved closer as I felt Jaden shiver on my hip, it was getting every chilly so the sooner I got Mama's pound and got back home, the better. I was scared to be honest. I've never in my life been out this late, better yet, I've never in my life went to get drugs from someone. The last guy stood in the middle with an oddly familiar hairstyle, his hazel eyes watched his surroundings hard as he listened to the two talk back and forth, adding his own laughable opinion here and there. 

"Here come somebody, that him?" The dreadhead asked.

"Naw man, that's a girl, and she got a kid with ha." Darrion said. "Aye, what the hell you want, bitch?"

I slowed unsurely, hesitating to take another step toward them, I lingered where I stood as I looked at them all unsurely, I bit my lip nervously as I glanced around and debated if this was worth it. Considering it wasn't, I turned and went to run away when I heard the sound of thundering footsteps coming at me, I tried to scream for help but I was grabbed and yanked back by somebody. I felt my heart race as I was dragged toward the streetlight, Jaden was now screaming as tears poured down his face. I fought hard against the person as they grabbed my hood and yanked it off as the streetlight caught sight of my face. I was dragged closer to the streetlight so the guy that stood in the middle could see who I was, I yanked myself away from Darrion as he glared at me before backing away to look at the "leader" of the group. I turned my attention to the quiet one and stared at Kasmin as he stared back at me, he cocked his head and raised an eyebrow before looking at Darrion then at the other guy.

"What you want, man?" Darrion asked, pushing my arm a little to urge me to talk.

"A pound." I said, squeezing Jaden close to me as he continued to mewl. "My Mama said she comes to you... all the time."

I said, glancing up at Kasmin before averting my eyes to stare down the road at the stoplight that was green, but no one was at it, I looked back at Kasmin as he cocked his head the other way in thought. I sighed with an eye row as I reached for my pocket, immediately, Darrion reached in his pocket and pulled out something shiny and pointed it at me warningly. 

"Its cool," Kasmin's laid-back voice spoke," she ain't stupid."

Of course I wasn't stupid, I looked at Darrion as he reluctantly lowered the gun but kept an eye on me as I pulled out the twenties that Mama threw at me, I showed them to him.

"You said a pound?" The guy that I didn't know asked, he glance at Kasmin, who just continued to stare me in the face as I glanced over at the guy and nodded slowly. "How much you got?"

"A hundred." I said, holding the twenties in my hand as I waited for one of them to hand me for the asked product. 

"How we know you ain't with the police tho?" Darrion asked, his lips poked out a little as he stared at me suspiciously.

"She ain't, her Mama's the one we ran a train on yesterday." I felt bile rise in my mouth as I listened to the unknown guy say that, Darrion chuckled.

"Aww, that 
stretched
 bitch!" Darrion said, a smirk on his face.

I looked over at him with disgust, he caught me glaring at him and reached down to grope himself with a wink. 

"I can stretch you, ya feel me." He laughed. "We all can." He then lifted his hands to crack his knuckles while eyeing me down. "I never fucked a fat hoe before."

"D... man, chill." While it wasn't Kasmin that spoke up to stop him, I was just happy someone did because it was growing uncomfortable for me. 

"Man, I just wanna fuck her, that's it. How about we go behind a tree and you suck on this chocolate meat, how 'bout that?" Darrion continued, he even went far as reaching for the front of his sweats and yanking them down a little to show me what he was packing. 

I stared at him in shock as he fixed his sweats, I didn't get to see much but his pubic hairs and the thickness at the base of him, I immediately wished the image would go away. I hadn't seen what a guy looked like down there so it was all new to me, nor had a guy ever asked to have sex with me, what's a girls suppose to do when it happens all in one minute? I heard the sound of a click and looked to see Kasmin pointing a gun at Darrion, who quickly put his hands up in surrender. I stared with wide eyes as the barrel of the gun pointed right between his eyes, Kasmin's eyes were hard and cold as he stared at Darrion angrily. He was a fast mover, for him to pull his gun own so fast and for no one to hear him do it, he had to be a fast mover. 

"Chill." Kasmin warned, Darrion quickly nodded while taking three steps back and looking around frantically.

Kasmin then lowered the gun and stored it in the front of his sagging pants, while he was so hot, he was also so dangerous, this was the type of things I fantasized about. How he'd pin me down and take me, how he'd make me enjoy it, like he did to Shaniqua on that video on Facebook. The video went around the school immediately, that's how Shaniqua became as popular and started to hang with Asiah and the other girls. However, I didn't want it to be so I could become popular, I was best unknown or at least known as "the fat girl with no ass but a big ass rack" as one guy told me before. 

"So? Give her a pound?" The guy with dreads asked, raising an eyebrow as he glanced between Darrion and Kasmin, his eyes even landed on me. 

Kasmin looked me up and down again before holding his hand out, I laid the five twenties in his hand one by one and he in-between counting them with a nod, he nodded at the dreadhead so he could hand me the pound. 

"Wait...," Darrion said, making us all turn to look at him as my heart started to race, he's starting to remember me, "who smacked the shit out of you." I rolled my eyes as I reached up to touch my still-throbbing cheek before reaching back and pulling my hood up.

I stared him down before looking at the guy as he reached in his pocket and handed me the pound, I fixed Jaden on my hip before turning to walk away but I felt someone grab my wrist. I turned quickly with an aggravated frown but the frown immediately dissipated as I looked into Kasmin's golden eyes, his face moved closer to mine and I felt my breath hitch as he puckered his lips to peck me on the-

"-back." I looked at him in confusion as I quickly blinked to rid of my fantasy that I had always hoped for. 

"What?" I asked, missing the whole sentence.

Kasmin gave me an aggravated look as I stared at him in more confusion, 
what could I have done to him?

"I said: don't come back." I rose an eyebrow at him, who the hell does he think his sexy ass is, he's not the boss of me... though I wouldn't mind.

"You're not the boss of me." He took a step closer to me, easily towering over me as I stared up at him with a little fear, 
maybe I shouldn't of said that
...

"I'm the boss of whoever the fuck I wanna be the boss of, now get the fuck out here." Kasmin said, lightly pushing me away as he took a step back to stand in his pervious spot. "And tell ya Mama to come by some time, I wanna shove my dick inside her again."

I tried to glare at him but I couldn't really find any real menace so I just dropped my gaze and nodded before turning and walking away once more, it stung a little to hear him say that. They all had sex with my mom and I was disgusted by that fact, how could she be okay with all them having sex with her at the same time, disgusting. Now that I did know my Mama fucked Kasmin, I was angry at her and him for doing such a thing, while neither of them knew about my feelings, it still hurt and the betrayal was real. I crossed the street I had on the way here before looking back to see Kasmin watching me walk away as the two guys continued their talk about Kandy and Asiah. I corrected Jaden on my hip once more as I spotted the house in the distance, I had Mama's stuff so she should be happy and high for at least four days straight, her and her boyfriend can be happy before she go off to rehab, but that's if she goes. I entered the house and closed the door behind me as Mama stood in the threshold waiting, she had another joint lit and one of her female friends were over to help her smoke away her worries. I tossed the bag to her as I carried Jaden to my room and sat him on the ground, he rubbed his eyes sleepily as I left the door open and leaned against my threshold to hear and watch Mama's conversation with her friend.

"... girl, I'm so tired that little bitch." Mama said, I knew she was referring to me. 

"Send her ass on somewhere." Her friend said. "That's what I did with Ginger's slutty ass, put her on that street and gave her an ultimatum: the house or the fucking men, one of them gotta go."

"See but that's not my problem," She pasued to take a puff and blew it into the air," that bitch is going to be virgin and she's probably gonna die a virgin, nobody want her fatass." 

I quietly snorted, considering what I just found out today, it seemed like my Mama wasn't to fond on tell her business but she sure as hell liked to tell mine to her friends. 

"So, put that bitch out and see what happened, somebody gonna gladly fuck her."

"I'm not trying to have DFS at my door." Mama laughed while taking another puff.

"That only happened one time!" Her friend, Tiff, laughed.

"Shit... and now I got Jaden, but I don't want his ass either, shit." I glanced over at Jaden as he sat on my bed while flipping through his favorite Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? book. "But I guess it's cool, that little trifling hoe can run my errands. Oh! Let me tell you about the dude I met yesterday!" 

Ha, more like the 
THREE
 dudes you met yesterday.

"Who?" Tiff asked, grabbing a slip of rolling paper and grabbing Mama's baggie to open it. "Throw me the lighter."

Mama reached over on the couch, by the remote to the broken TV, and threw it to her friend before taking another puff.

"Who you meet?" Tiff pushed, smirking as she leaned forward for Mama to spill the tea. 

"Girl, this sexy mixed guy, his cock was thick as fuck!" Mama yelled, the only mixed guys were Kasmin and the dreadhead. "And he had dreads! Girl!" 
Good, it's not Kasmin.

"Oh! We gonna have to find this cutie and see what he about then!" Tiff encouraged, bouncing on the edge of the couch in excitement as she clapped her hands.

Mama laugh as she pointed toward the direction of the park, she went to talk but started to cough instead, she reached forward and grabbed the bottle of Hennessey and took a big sip without trying to even dilute it with a soda. 

"Girl, he was sexy too." Mama said, she sat the bottle of Hennessey down and took another puff. "You know ya bitch got that number." Mama and Tiff 
aaaed
 before high-fiving as Tiff took the first puff of her joint. 

"He got any friends?" Tiff asked, giving Mama that you know it's about to go down, right look.

"Yeah, his friend is mixed too." 
Oh no, that's mine, Tiff better lay off
. "And a chocolate one and his dick is pretty big too, he tried to fuck me and I told him no."

"Mmm, I like mine chocolaty." Tiff said,
 yeah, that's what the fuck I thought.

"Go 'head then!" Mama laughed, Tiff then joined in as she leaned back on the couch. "Jackie trying to send my ass back to rehab."

"What? Fuck no!" Tiff said, sitting up with a face of terror.

Of course she was mortified, Mama was her "plug" in some cases, Mama was getting child support for Jaden and she'd take it and use half of it for drugs while the rest is for food that she can eat when she get the munchies.

"Yeah, but ya bitch ain't going." Mama said, Tiff put her hand out for another high-five, which Mama did high-five her.

"That's what I'm talking 'bout, ya sister always coming over here, fucking up shit!"

"Right! Ha ass need to stay where the fuck she belong, away from her', shit." Mama took another puff, I rolled my eyes. 

I glanced back at Jaden to find him sleeping on my bed, sprawled out in the middle with the 
Brown Bear...
 book on the floor, I smiled a little, he's so adorable at times, and bad at those other times.

"Let's get back on that dreadhead, tho." Mama said, she ashed her joint before taking another puff.

"Yeah, I wonder what he up to do right now, maybe we should go find him..." Tiff suggested.

"Yeah, we should... better yet, I'll send Honey to get his sexy ass. HONEY!" I ignored the call as I tip-toped to my bed and climbed in over Jaden the best I could. "

HONEY

!"

I ignored her call once more as I turned my lamp off and closed my eyes, I heard the couch protest her moves as she got up and walked toward the hall, her steps continued as we plunged in black and I pretended to be sleep. Her steps stopped outside of door and I could imagine her peeking in, she wasn't going to scream because she knew she'd wake up Jaden, who is hard to put back to sleep. Mama turned and made her way back to the living room before I heard some shuffling and the door slamming closed, I was thankful that she went herself but it was going to be embarrassing to show my face tomorrow because Darrion knew my Mama, ha, he fucked my Mama. Speaking of school, what am I going to wear tomorrow, maybe... just maybe, Kasmin will come to school and even though he had sex with my Mama, part of me still wanted to try and impress him. I guess I'll find something to wear in the morning, plus, I have to get Jaden to daycare because he's one year to young to go to Pre-K. I grabbed my little, old phone and made sure that I had my alarm set for five o'clock and closed my eyes to go to sleep.

                                                                                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BBBBUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I woke to my phone vibrating under my pillow, I frowned as I looked out the window to see it still looked like midnight, I grabbed my phone and pulled it to check the notification. It was from 
Messenger
, I frowned as I tapped the little bubble to see who it was from, my eyes widened as Darrion sent me a video of my Mom that had the caption of 
The Nite Show
. The thumbnail of the video was completely graphic, her face was covered in some white stuff and she had a large smile on her face as she wore no shirt, to make it all the worse, I could see Kasmin in the back. He was missing his shirt and he had a grip on Tiff's neck as she screamed at the top of her lungs while he stood between her legs as she laid on the back of a worn couch. I tapped it and quickly adjusted the volume so it was low and wouldn't wake up Jaden, it was something I had to see, while I was horrified because I knew it was probably all over his page, I was also saddened at the sight of Kasmin and Tiff. That should of been me he was choking, it should of been me instead of Tiff, I deserved it more than she did and to make it worse, I wished I hadn't played sleep and had went myself. The video started off with them in someone's room, I assumed it was Darrion's because his face come on the camera and he was smirking while unbuckling his pants. He pulled the front down and his semi-hard stick popped out as Mama came forward and she smiled at the camera while grabbing onto him and stroking it, Darrion started to meet her thrust as the camera guy moved forward to get a better look. I fast-forward through the beginning and I was able to see Mama gobbling down Darrion's stick and even the dreadhead talking to the phone before it moved to the others in the room. I quickly rewinded a little before letting the video play. In the back ground, I could hear the sound of someone screaming in excitement and pleasure as the camera turned to look at Kasmin and Tiff, who both were having to good of a time. I watched on as Kasmin grabbed Tiff by her weave and pounded into her harder, the sight of him showing her no mercy made me bit my lip in wonder, 
would he have showed me mercy?
 I watched on as Kasmin continued to fuck her like the whore she was until he busted himself all over her face, the video ended with Kasmin showing us what he was packing, and I was passed impressed. He was well packed, his stick was thicker and longer than Darrion's, 
I wanted it all for myself.

On The Hotline Pretty Ricky

Word Count: 4106

# Chapter Three

How was I going to show my face at school? How was I going to walk to school knowing that everyone probably saw this video of my Mom and her friend being a nasty whore?
 I glanced over at Jaden as he scratched his small Nike's together to make a screechy sound come from them, I smiled a little and tickled his belly before getting up from the bed and setting him down. It was exactly five o'clock and I didn't want to get up because I had stayed up all night with the video on my mind... with 

Kasmin

 on my mind.  I stretched as I looked at my closet and tried to see what I had clean from the distance, should I go looking cute or should I go looking the normal way? Today was going to be hard because I knew the video was seen by everyone, just to make it worse, right after the video, Darrion and the dreadhead went Live on Facebook, but Kasmin wasn't there so I didn't bother to even watch it. I walked up to my closet and filed through my hanging clothes until I found a strappy V-neck that accented but also flashed the roundness of my 40DDD, I tossed the shirt on the bed. It had a cold shoulder, which is when the shoulders were exposed only and the strappy V-neck is when there are straps similar to shoelaces cutting back and forth through the V-neck part itself. The shirt was cute and this was going to be my second time wearing it, I start to then fish for something that could go with it, I reached in my drawer and found a denim skirt as I heard a loud bang at the door. I quickly tossed the denim skirt with the shirt and hurried toward the living room to find Jaden, Mama was going to probably be high or drunk since she was drinking and rolling joints in the video.

I couldn't find him in the living room and quickly went to the kitchen to see him sitting in the middle of the floor with a car toy, I smiled as I walked over and lifted him in my arms as the front door opened, I reached down and grabbed his car toy before turning and walking back to my room. I closed the door behind me as I heard the front door open and someone groaning about a headache, Mama of course. I sat Jaden on the bed and looked for some shoes to wear. I was a big girl but there were days when I did wear cute clothes, but my clothes were a classy cute, not a tank top that showed that I wasn't wearing a bra and a pair of short-shorts with no panties. I had way more class than that, I dressed to impress myself, not anyone... other than Kasmin, I dressed to impress him too. I then stripped Jaden from his clothes and walked him to the bathroom, I cleaned him up real good and changed his training diaper before getting him dressed in a pair of clean black pants and a yellow polo shirt. I grabbed a thin jacket for him and a plain black beanie just incase it cooled off later in the day and Mrs. Willis wanted to take him outside or something. Mrs. Willis is our next door neighbor, she watches Jaden until I come get him, she doesn't even open the door when Mama come to retrieve him, and I don't blame her. I then checked the time to see it was just hitting five-thirty, school starts in about an hour and a half, leaving more than enough time for me to fix Jaden, Mama, and I something to eat. I quickly cleaned myself in the bathroom before changing into the outfit I picked out and checking it in the mirror, it was perfect together. I placed a pair of large-sized, thin jeweled-band hoops in my ears and applied a little mascara to my eyes as a final touch. I then grabbed a light cardigan and exited my room and to the kitchen, I peeked in the living room to see Mama sprawled out on the couch, sleep. 

She was cleaned up, or at least her face was but her clothes were shriveled and her house-shoes were missing. I sighed as I opened the fridge and saw the mostly stacked fridge, which was good, I pulled out the carton of eggs and checked them to make sure they were still good. I set them on the counter while closing the fridge door, I then turned the stove on and grabbed a skillet from out of the oven drawer. I went back to the fridge and grabbed some butter to make sure the eggs don't stick, I grabbed a bowl as well and cracked three eggs in a bowl while using a fourth egg to crack into the now sizzling pan with a piece of melting butter. I allowed the fried egg to cook on one side before flipping it over and cooking it on the other side, while the second side cooked, I grabbed a plate to set it on. I grabbed the bowl that had Jaden and I's three eggs in it and used a fork to beat them really well, I sat the bowl down as I took the egg off the heat and put some more butter in the skillet. I took the fried egg and sat it farther back on the counter so Jaden couldn't take it. I then poured the beaten eggs into the pan and started to cook them as I grabbed Jaden and sat him at the kitchen island that was facing toward the broken TV. It was good to have while the TV worked but now it doesn't because Jaden poured Mama's apple juice on it while he was younger, I stirred the beat eggs before adding slices of cheese that I got out the fridge. I walked to the counter and grabbed the bread, I made sure it wasn't molded before setting one slice on each of our plates. I glanced at the eggs before staring them once more, I walked to the fridge and grabbed out a bottle of Apple Juice to pour us some, breakfast is an essential for Jaden and I. 

The eggs were soon finished and I had split them between us before setting one plate down in front of Jaden then the second one down in front of my seat beside him. Jaden went to eat but I stopped him by giving him a stern look, he smiled and said grace before digging in and I said grace before starting to eat as well. We finished quickly and drunk our juice before I sat Jaden down to go get his things for Day Care. I placed our dishes in the sink and slid on a pair of plain black wedges before grabbing my backpack and putting it on, I walked to my room to grab my phone to see that I had a message from Jackie. It read: 
Come by immediately after you pick up Jaden, take transit.
 I replied with: 
Ok., knowing not to ask any questions until I got there.
 I was curious though, 
was it about the video? Was it dealing with Mama's addiction? What could it possibly be other than those things?
 With Jaden ready to go, I made sure I had my phone and binder before grabbing my backpack, which Auntie Jackie had brought in yesterday. I placed my binder in my backpack and slid it on before lifting Jaden into my arms and carrying him out the door, I closed the door behind me and walked next door. I knocked and Mrs. Willis immediately opened the door, Jaden smiled at her and waved. She smiled back as I sat him on the ground and he hugged my leg before hurrying inside. 

"I'll be by to get him right after school." I told her. "And he already ate." 

"Okay, have a good day, be good." 

"You too." I replied, I started to walk away as she closed the door.

I paused outside the door, maybe I should get a little money and buy something to eat. I decided against it as I started my way toward school, I should of packed a pair of extra shoes because right when I reached the actual ground of campus, my feet started to ache. And then I remembered that I had forgotten my cardigan, just great, I've gotten so forgetful lately. It wasn't very chilly this morning but I was sure it would be by the time it was to go home, maybe I'll get lucky and it'll still be a little warm by the time school is over. I walked toward the door as all eyes turned to look at me and the talking started, I ignored them as I walked my way up the school stairs. I glanced around to see people staring me down, waiting for me to say something to them I was sure, I glanced over to see Darrion leaning against a railing as he laughed and talked at the top of his lungs as normal.

"Honey!" I turned to look behind me as I went to grab the school door and head to class.

The person behind me was Asiah, she smiled at me before throwing a bottle of water at me, I stared at it in confusion.

"Ya Mama's friend was all over my baby, she seemed very thirsty." Everyone started to laugh as I stared at the water bottle as it started to roll down the stairs.

I leaned down and picked it up while looking at a crinkled piece of plastic circling it, I looked back up at Asiah and tossed it back, she fumbled it. "No boo, you look thirsty." 

Everyone 
"oohed"
 as she glared at me and took a step forward, she cocked her head a little and her weave slithered around before settling as I stared down at her from a higher step, if we were at ground level, she would easily be able to look me down. Asiah was wearing a tube top with it's belly out, showing her belly piercing, her make-up was layered on her face as she wore fake eyelashes and hot pink lipstick. Her lipstick didn't fit her face and it made her look like a goofy little, thirsty bitch. I wasn't scared of Asiah, I didn't care about her either. I was angry that she called Kasmin hers when she knew he wasn't hers, he was mine and while no one knew that, I knew it. Behind Asiah was her little goonies, Shaniqua and Gee-Gee. Shaniqua was wearing a too-thin and too-small pink dress with a pair of tall stilettos that seemed to be straining under her thin weight, her face was coated just like Asiah's and she wore extra large hoop earrings. Gee-Gee had on Asiah's jacket from yesterday with a plain, grey tanktop that was pulled up past her belly button under it and tight hip-hugging jeans that looked very uncomfortable, so uncomfortably tight that they were going to leave skin impression on her when she took them off. I didn't have time for their silliness at the moment, I didn't have time to try and entertain these idiots. I cocked my head while I waited for Asiah to do something, she went to say something but was cut off by Darrion hopping in between us, blocking my view of her. 

"Damn, if ya'll gonna fight over me th-"

"Ain't nobody fighting over you!" Asiah yelled, taking the words right out of my mouth.

Darrion was wearing a large grey t-shirt with a gold braided chain around his neck, the chain looked so heavy but he wore it proudly with no complaints all the time, almost everyday. With his large tee, he wore a pair of matching grey sweatpants with a black design on the left leg, today, he wore black Adidas instead of his normal array of fake timberlands. 

"Then what's the deal, baby?" Darrion asked, trying to put his arms around Asiah's waist, she pushed him off. 

"Get yo' ugly ass away from me, damn!" Asiah said, frowning in disgust.

"Yo, you wasn't saying that when I was laying this wood on you though!" He replied, and he was telling the truth, 
she never complains when 
ANYONE
 is laying their wood on her
. "Come on..." Darrion pressured, making me roll my eyes as I turned to walk away.

"Don't be scared now, bitch! Move, Darrion!" Asiah tried to get past Darrion but he put his hands in her way so she couldn't pass. "Darrion!"

"No, gotta watch out for ol' girl, my task fam." Darrion said. "I'm getting paid, bruh."

He has to watch out for me? His task?
 I looked at him in confusion as I tried to make since on what he was saying, 
he was put the task of watching over me? And he was getting paid to do it? Who the hell would pay him to watch over me? I can watch over myself!
 I watched as Asiah tried to get around him once more and talk to me, which I ignored her, but Darrion got in her way once more as Gee-Gee and Shaniqua tried to get him to move as well.

"Darrion, please..." Gee-Gee said, giving him a look that said it all.

I saw Darrion hesitate and I prepared myself to fight as he slowly moved aside, I readied my stance as Asiah got around him and smirked at me. She took a defensive stance as well as we stood in front of the entrance doors of the school.

"So, wassup, bitch?" I shrugged, smiling in her face as I readied for her to try and swing on me.

"Wassup?" I asked back, waiting on her to do something. 

Like I said, I wasn't scared of Asiah, Gee-Gee, or Shaniqua so I was ready for anything, I've been in a fight before and not only did everyone else say she lost, she said I whooped her ass. I was ready to whoop some ass because today wasn't the day for me, I just wanted to come to school, see if my future baby was here, and if not, have a good, quiet day then leave. I should had known that that wasn't going to be the case but I was hoping. 

"Yeah, 
wassup
?" Everyone turned their attention to where Kasmin was standing.

Asiah took a step back from me as Darrion jumped "back" into action and tried to act like he was protecting me, I rose an eyebrow at him as he had spread his arms and waved them. Kasmin was standing at the end of the stairs with a large jacket over a thinner hoodie jacket and a plain black shirt, his flat herringbone chain looked so sexy on him as he cocked his head to the side dangerously. His jeans were saggy as usual and he wore a pair of clean, white Jordans that looked new and freshly bought, just like almost everything else he ever wore. Kasmin went to say something when the bell rung, I moved aside so that I wouldn't get bombarded by people, I wanted to see how this played out but I knew I couldn't be late. I stepped into the crowd as they passed into the building, I glanced back to see Kasmin staring at me as I walked away, damn, he's so cute. I turned away and walked to class with his stare still intense on me, or maybe I was still just feeling it because of the way it made me tingle. It made me want to fantasize about him giving me that look as I stripped for him, right before he would do me. Right before he would grab me by my waist and lift me against the wall, the way he'd shove himself inside me and pound me like he always did to the girls on the videos. I didn't want to be like the girls on the videos, I wanted to be like me and him to be like him when... 
if we have sex
. And that thought made me wonder, would there ever be anything between us afterward, the only girlfriend he ever really had was Asiah and that was for three straight days before they broke it off. Some said that she was always to clingy for him, others said that she wasn't clingy enough for him, while the rest of them said that she cheated on him with one of his goonies and he beat the shit out of him, almost killed him because of the disrespect. I reached class with my heart beating, not because of Asiah but because Kasmin was here today and I have him in more than half of my classes, including lunch. I took my seat in class as the talking continued, while the altercation had so easily left everyone's mind, they were talking about why Kasmin might of showed his face today. 

"Maybe he heard something was happening, like Honey trying to fight Asiah." I overheard Denise say. 

"Naw, Asiah was trying to fight Honey, she threw a water bottle at her." Someone, Ray, quietly defended me as I pretended like I couldn't hear them.

"Damn, you wanna eat her pussy or something?" Gee-Gee, who's in my first hour, asked. 

"At least it won't be all ran through like yours." Ray replied, everyone "oohed".

Everyone knew about Ray and Gee-Gee, she was a whore and he was the guy that liked the whore, it's was sad when she tricked him into giving her about seven hundred dollars before selling him out to Darrion. Ray had a friend who used to sell drugs, some guys beat him and Ray up so bad and sent them to the hospital and everyone found out from Darrion running his mouth about it. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, I frowned as I pulled it out to catch a quick glimpse before the bell rung, it was from Messenger. I figured it was Asiah talking shit and was going to ignore it, but I decided against it as unlocked my phone with the swipe of a finger and saw that it wasn't from Asiah, 
it was from Kasmin...

No Music 

Word Count: 3089

# Chapter Four

See me after school

 

I frowned because I knew I had to see Auntie Jackie after school today, why was today so good and also... so bad? I was going to reply when he sent another message.

I ain't askin either

A small smile cracked on my face as I tried to think of a way to break it to him, I couldn't today but I didn't want to tell him no. 

Ok.

 

Was my reply and I went to my Messages App to text Auntie Jackie and see if I could come any time later. 

Can I come a little later, not right after school?

I knew she wasn't going to reply right away so I locked my phone and placed it in my skirt pocket. I looked up as the bell rung and Ms. Holisse entered the classroom to start class.

"Morning, class."

"Good morning." We replied as I pulled my binder out my backpack.

Class went by in a breeze, the day went by in a fast breeze and Kasmin wasn’t in any of the classes like I expected, my feet were killing me and my head was starting to hurt, I was so ready to go home and lay down. However, every time I thought about it, I remembered that Auntie Jackie said I didn’t have to come right after school and that I also had to see Kasmin after school. I was curious to know what he could possibly want with me, it was probably going to be about Asiah trying to fight me and he was going to have her back, I knew this because not to long ago, she made a status about how he couldn’t stay away. While she didn’t put a name to it, we all assumed it was about Kasmin, they are so on and off anyway. I was so antsy in the last hour of the day, my leg was bouncing so fast that the chair was starting squeak, I calmed myself as the last bell rung and everyone quickly filed out of the classes. The halls were packed with people and like always, people were busy socializing than trying to hurry and leave, I glanced around for Kasmin but couldn’t find him. I slowly made my way to the front door as I heard a familiar loud mouth and followed the direction of it, I turned down the last hall close to the back of school, where there was a back exit and saw the group standing there. I slowly walked forward as I stared at Asiah cuddled up into Kasmin’s side, he stood up straight as he stared me down while I came closer.

“Apologize to my girl.” I stared at him like he had grown four head.

“You and everybody else’s girl?” I asked, one minute I was standing about five feet away from him and the next, he had me pinned to a locker by both my wrist.

I gasped as I grabbed his wrist and stared into his hazel eyes while he stared back at me, I struggled to breath as he tightened his grip, I felt myself grow wet like I always did when I saw him. I pushed at his wrist while turning my head away, I gasped and dug my fingers into his arm as he finally released me and I slumped forward against him. I moaned into his chest as I pushed my body up by using his chest before looking at him with lust, he was so fucking hot and manly that I just wanted to jump on him.

“I said: apologize.” He threatened as Asiah, Gee-Gee, Darrion, Melvin, Shaniqua, Keshawn, and DeQuan watched from a distance.

He pushed me against the locker and held me in place by putting his hands on both sides of my head. He pushed his cock against me and I could feel how hard it was as he grabbed me by my inner thighs and lifted me against the lockers. He pushed my skirt up to where my panties were exposed before pulling those aside aggressively with hunger, I moaned as he lined himself u-

“ Damn .“ I was snapped out of my fantasy as Kasmin eyed me closely, silently.

“Huh?” I asked, looking at him in confusion.

“Damn, you can tell that bitch want some dick.” Keshawn laughed, smirking as he took a step forward. “Shit, needs some dick.” His face turned serious as he eyed me up and down with lust.

Kasmin quickly turned and glanced at him as he stepped back from me, he swayed side to side with each step before coming to a stop and staring me up and down.

“She moaning and shit.” Darrion commented, laughing as I felt my face heat up with embarrassment, I… I moaned? “Damn, man.”

Kasmin turned and glanced around at his friends and his…

girlfriend

before gesturing to the back door then taking the lead out, I was now terrified as I watched them walk away…

I moaned?!!

I quickly turned and walked off, I blended with the crowd in front of the school as I quickly tried to get to Mrs. Willis’ house and get Jaden so we could catch the transit to Auntie Jackie’s house. I crossed the street and walked full speed toward Mama’s apartment as school buses zoomed by, I slowed as I passed River Park and made my way to Mrs. Willis’ door. I knocked and she pulled the door open with Jaden behind her, I smiled as I thanked her and lifted Jaden into my arms.

“Thank you, Mrs. Willis, Auntie Jackie will give you the money tomorrow.” She always pay her after she watches Jaden, she watches him every other day.

“Don’t worry about it.” I nodded and thanked her once more before quickly turning and hurrying to catch the transit.

I knocked as Auntie Jackie opened the door, she took Jaden as he snored while I entered the house and closed the door behind me. 

"Hey, Auntie." I muttered, I was a little upset of how things turned out with Kasmin but I didn't know how to go about it as well. 

"Hey, how was school?"

"Good... long, as usual."

"Aw, yeah, it's your last year. Be happy."

"Be healthy." I muttered with a small smile on my face, copying the famous Cheerios commercial. 

"Cute." Auntie Jackie mocked, sticking her tongue out at me, I chuckled. "Isn't that a cute outfit, who are you trying to impress?"

I fought a large smile. "No one." I squeaked, turning my head so she couldn't see my reaction.

"Mhmmmm." She sounded, I couldn't fight my large grin any longer. "Is it 
Ray
?"

My smile immediately dissipated. "Ha, no. Eww, he's starting to like this new girl named Bianca, though he won't admit it."

"That boy... how's he doing anyway, better I hope." 

"I think he is." I said. "He's still upset at Gee-Gee but I'm not surprised, I'd been done cut her throat already."

"Honey..." Auntie Jackie warned, glancing at me as she fluffed a blanket over Jaden's body and corrected the pillow under his head.

"What? It's true, I mean come on Auntie, she almost got him kicked out of his Mama's house." I took a seat on the opposite couch. "We have an assignment in Mr. Hymen's class, for extra credit."

"Ha, like you need it." Auntie Jackie said, smiling over at me as she walked to her stack of medical books and stored them on the large bookcase. 

I smiled. "That doesn't mean I don't want to do it, I also have to work on a project with a partner, and it has nothing to do with reading." I muttered, struggling to resist an eye roll. 

"What is it?" She asked, frowning up a little.

She was frowning because she knew I rarely ever complained about anything, I could be at wits end but you would never hear a complaint come out of my mouth. 

"We have to do research on an ancient architect and make a powerpoint about their famous works... well, I guess I that does have a little to do with reading but not much. That's more like... social studies." I reasoned, shrugging as I leaned back on the couch. "But I know you didn't tell me to come over to hear about how my day was, what's wrong?"

Her face darkened in sadness as she glanced up at me, I cocked my head a little as I looked at her, I couldn't think of anything that would make her so upset other than... Mama. I sat up slowly as I waited for her to tell me what the problem was, I wasn't too worried because Mama did come home this morning, I saw her with my own two eyes. 

"Your Mama, she overdosed this morning, she's in the hospital." I stared at the floor. "Honey?"

I was so numb that I didn't know what to do, I should of been sad, maybe even angry but I wasn't because I knew it would happen sooner or later, I didn't feel anything and because of that, I wanted to cry. I should of been angry or screaming at the top of my lungs with worry, but all I could do was stare at the floor with blankness written on my face. 

"Honey?" Jackie called me again, making me look up at her. "I know it's hard, but life still goes on. They said she's going to be just fine."

She reached over and grabbed my hand, making me glanced down at them clasped together before looking back at her. Suddenly, I felt my heart speed up as my lip started to quiver and I felt like I was suffocating. I heaved for air as Auntie looked at me with desperation and pulled me close, my eyes watered as I finally felt the need to get away from all the drama...
 I needed some money and I needed it right now... I needed a break
. I pulled away form Auntie and wiped my glassy eyes of water, I smiled at her to show her that I was strong and I was going to continue to be strong for Jaden. She smiled back at me before pushing a curly strand of brown hair out of my face and cupping my cheeks, she stared me in the face with a pleased smile.

"I'm so proud of you, Honey, I really am." I looked down into my lap as she touched my shoulder with a parent's touch then got to her feet and walked toward the kitchen. "You wanna eat before you head home? Or you can even stay here tonight."

"Yes, and no, I'll head home... I'll be fine." I said, climbing to my feet as well as I walked toward the bathroom before stopping in the kitchen's archway. "Thanks Auntie, I'm proud of you too."

She smiled at me because she knew what I meant by that, how she put up with Mama on the day to day basis was beyond me, I refused to be treated the way Mama treated Auntie. Over my dead body was I going to let Mama spit at me or cuss me out in front of people, if I can stand up to Asiah, I can sure as hell stand up to Mama. I then turned and continued toward the bathroom, I cleaned my face up and fixed a couple of strands of hair before turning the light off on my way out. I walked back to the living room and slipped my wedges off before curling up on the couch while pulling my phone out, I didn't have much data left to use so I had to make the best of it. I clicked my Twitter app and went directly to Kasmin's page, which was under Kas The Clutch, his real last name was actually Sapine. Kasmin Sapine... Honey Sapine, that's pretty cute actually. I went down until I saw the first thing he shared, it was a picture of a girl with a big butt and a flat stomach, which I had neither, he gave her a shoutout and I just knew her page was blowing up with people. The girl was pretty and it took me a minute to realize it was actually Bianca, the girl that Ray liked and always talked about, but he didn't have the balls to approach her. I knew that soon, Bianca was going to be in the same position as Asiah and Shaniqua, in the group but never seen by anyone else. Bianca had a big butt to be seventeen, her hair was always filled with weave but she had a really good personality compared to the other girls around the school. She's very nice but as the days go by and the popular boys like Darrion and... 
Kasmin
 start to recognize her, she becomes snobby and slutty. She always dressed so appropriate and professional but today, she was a tiny tube top and a pair of hip-hugging jeans with a pair of heels, she was starting to pick up on Asiah and Gee-Gee's style. Kasmin's shoutout read: 

Ain't the prettiest but that head be on point tho @BiancaBadd

, I should had expected something along those lines, to be honest, I was expecting worst from him but I guess I got... 
lucky
? Bianca replied with: 

I looked better than yo Mama on ha worst day @KasTheClutch

 with a picture of her blowing a kiss at the phone, sparking a lot of back and forth on their pages. The fight then charged from them two to 
CaramelBaddie... or Asiah
 and Bianca when Asiah commented:

 I'm going to whoop some ass and slap some hoes that kept coming in contact with my man...

 
ha, her man, not
. Bianca replied: 

Come get some, walking STD bitch

 and the feud was left at that on that picture. However, I knew Asiah had took to Facebook and was bragging about how she was going to whoop Bianca's ass. Which I knew there wasn't going to be a fight unless it was out of school and you rarely see Asiah's ass out of school because she's usually at someone's trap getting high and double-teamed. 

I scrolled to the next picture and it was of him without a shirt, I took a deep breath while closing my eyes to relax myself, goodness this dude was hot. His muscles were so big and bulky, his shoulders were broad and his stomach was completely flat with a six pack, he was hot as hell and muscular. I could just imagine how it felt to lay on his chest after good sex, the way he would caress my back afterward and the way he would gently pillow talk with me. I would hold him tight to me and never let him go, I wouldn't want to let him go if he looked that hot every night... he does look that hot every night. I scrolled down some more and caught a video of something inappropriate, I clicked it and turned my volume all the way down as I spotted Asiah on her knees while smiling up at someone. I spotted a too familiar tattoo to see that it was Kasmin, he had 

Fully Clutched And True

 in beautiful font on his inner forearm, it was something I liked and it had two thick, black dots at the beginning and the end of the whole tattoo and a cool design within the writing. The video continued by Kasmin walking up and giving us a glimpse of glory at his gigantic size, his caramel stick was so long and thick that it made my stomach turn a little, 
how could anyone take that thing?
 He thrust his hips forward and Asiah quick opened her mouth to take his pipe as he put his hands a hand on her head and guided her slowly, he moved his hips back and forth before going forward more than normal and gagging her.

"Honey." I jumped up in shock as I glanced over at Auntie Jackie before locking my phone and climbing to my feet.

"Yeah?" I said, trying to not look suspicious of wronging as I started toward her.

"What's up?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

I started by slowly shaking my head while looking at the ground before quickly shaking it and walking around her, or at least trying to before she grabbed my arm.

"What?" She demanded. "I'll get the phone myself if I have to."

I sighed. "It's a video..." I said, looking away to tell her I didn't want to finish this topic.

"And?" She pressured.

I stayed muted, staring at the floor away from her as I hoped she'd let me go so we could go eat, I didn't want to tell her that I saw a video of my crush getting head from a girl I hated. Better yet, a girl that just tried to fight me today, I was hoping that Kasmin would be different but maybe I was wrong, maybe I'm ALWAYS wrong. 

"And...?" She pressured more, pulling my arm to make me look at her.

My feelings were hurt, how would I be able to face him on any day, if Kasmin was Asiah's 
boyfriend
 then I guess I should of expected it but I was hoping that she wasn't. However, the video I saw proved me wrong, considering it was posted about an hour ago. Asiah should be flipping a table right now, she always see us girls in the wrong but when Kasmin does something like he just did with Bianca, she should be going off on him. Maybe that's why she's not, because they're not really together, she just want to be able to claim one of the hottest teenagers in town.

"Kasmin's getting a blowjob." I said boldly, looking up at her with a solid face, I wasn't going to cry and whine about it in front of her. 

"And?" She said, looking at me with a frown. "You like him or something?"

"No..." I said, not making eye contact with her as I stared at the well with tears in my eyes.

I couldn't cry over my mom having an overdose but I could stand here and whine because Kasmin had a video of him getting head from his "girlfriend", 
I'm a disgusting individual. Or was I really? This type of thing was suppose to make me upset, how am I suppose to deal with him knowing that he's probably getting another blowjob by another girl right now?

"Oh... Honey..." Auntie Jackie spoke, looking at me with desperation. "You girls and all ya'll hormones..." She turned and headed back to the kitchen while shaking her head.

No Music 

Word Count: 3142

# Chapter Five

"You sure you don't want me to take you home, Honey, you know I don't like you walking this late at night." Auntie Jackie said. 

"Naw, I'm good, I'll catch the next transit." I told her while fixing the filled Tupperware in my unoccupied hand. "I'll call you when I make it home."

"Alright, just be careful and if something happen, just hurry and get you and Jaden out of-"

"Haha, I know Auntie, you've told me hundreds of times growing up." She smiled before kissing Jaden's head as it laid on my shoulder.

I corrected the jacket and pulled his hood over as I felt a cool breeze, I then turned and waved back at Auntie Jackie as she reluctantly started to close her door, I glanced back as I walked, I wasn't scared to walk at night. I started down the walkway, moving fast to get Jaden out of the cold, I wasn't regretting the choice to walk because it gave me the freedom and time to clear my mind at the moment. I had so much on my plate: 

Mama overdosing and her not going to be going to the store to fill the fridge, now making that my job; Kasmin were making comments about Asiah and his video, which I shouldn't had read because it only killed my mood more; Jaden was slowly coming down with a cold, making me the suitor to take care of him; and this stupid... stupid project that was due in a week, and to make it worse, Mr. Common was picking the partners tomorrow. 

I just needed a break and part of me was thinking of taking some money and going to find Kasmin and them for a pound, since that was all I knew how to get, and it was for a hundred dollars, which I didn't have. Another part of me knew I was better than that, I had to be strong and stay away from that substance before I became like Mama, addicted to it and unable to live without it. I bit my lip as I glanced around, I couldn't pull my phone out and check the time because both of my hands were full, I was praying that I didn't miss the transit or I would really be walking home. 

It was mostly quiet out, and it only got quieter as I made my way farther and farther into the nasty depths of the town, which was very unusual so I assumed that it was the drug lords making a move, which means:
 I need to get home ASAP because it's never this quiet
. It was probably what we called
 "the quiet before the storm"
, I knew something bad was going to happen but it just hadn't yet. I listened as the sound of tires cruising on the crumbling road and a growling engine pumping loudly caught my attention, I glanced behind me as a black truck slowed down a lot from the fast but cruising speed it was going. I turned back to face the concrete walkway before me as it slowed to a rolling speed beside me, I glanced over as the driver's window descended down about two inches and a large cloud of smoke rolled out immediately afterward. I continued to walk while fixing Jaden on my shoulder, he had fallen back asleep and was snoring in my ear now, I bit my lip nervously as I glanced at the car to see it still beside me out the corner of my eye. 
Who was this person and what could they possibly want with me?
 I figured it was maybe a gang member and they were trying to scare me up a little, I tried to ignore them as the car continued to roll beside me while I made my way to the transit station slowly. 

Maybe the person in the car thought I was a prostitute looking for some money, finally the person in the car put some power into their gas and was back to going down the road. I quickly decided to take a different approach to the transit station and hiked across the road and down an open, quiet street, just as I disappeared around the corner, I saw the black H2 Hummer brake lights come on as they skidded left. I was hoping that they weren't coming back around to come get me, if that was the case, I needed to get somewhere safe and unseen. I fixed the Tupperware once more in my hand as I looked for a shortcut to the transit station, there is always a monitor watching us from there and if I get kidnapped, you would be able to see it on the monitor. It was my best bet. I rounded yet another corner and saw the lit transit station in the distance, my heart skipped a beat in happiness as I picked up speed and made my way to it, I crossed the street again and safely made it to the benches. I laid Jaden down and walked up to the timing board to see if there was a transit coming, my joy was short lived as I realize I made it ten minutes too late for the last transit to come this way. My heart became heavy as I glanced back at Jaden before walking over to take a seat as he slept, which he was starting to do a lot and I know it's something you're suppose to do when you're sick, but it worries me. I looked up as I heard the sound of another growling engine and realized it was the same black Hummer H2, my heart started to race as so many possibilities started to go through my head: 

are they going to try to kill me, going to try to rape me, force me to go somewhere with them, was this person alone, where they going to keep trailing me... what about Jaden?

I quickly grabbed for Jaden as the car came to hard halt in front of me while it sat in the middle of the road, the driver had nothing to worry about because wasn't a car in sight, not even a police car. I looked up at the tented windows to see if I could spot anyone inside but they were so black that I saw nothing but darkness, I lifted Jaden into my arms and held him tightly as I started to bounce my leg fearfully. My heart was beating so fast that I thought I was going to have a heart attach, worst of all, Jaden was also in this situation with me and he was more at risk than I was. I glanced down at him as my leg bounced uncontrollably, 
would this person just please go away alre
-

"You're real dumb, ain't you." I looked up to see Kasmin glaring at me, 
well at least he didn't call me a bitch...

I stared at him before lowing my head and fixing Jaden's hood around him, his body was starting to shiver in my arms and I pulled him closer for warmth... I could be calling Jackie and telling her I missed the transit so she could come and get us out this cold weather. I looked back up at Kasmin without saying anything, I didn't know what to say because I really had nothing to say to him, I never thought we'd ever get to an opportunity in a million years. I never predicted this chance of ours, while I fantasizied about him fucking me and holding me afterward, I never thought about a simple, one-on-one conversation that didn't deal with us not having sex before or afterward. I guess you can say I'm a freaky person, I wouldn't know, I've never discovered that side of myself and I didn't plan on to any time sooner, I was to afraid to ever push that boundary yet, definitely with Kasmin because of him being a man-whore... 
a sexy ass man-whore... 
MY
 sexy ass man-whore.

"Hellooo? You fantasizin' about me fuckin' you or somethin'?" He asked with attitude, making me frown a little. "I'm talkin' to you."

"No..." I said timidly, biting my lip as I started to grow incredibly embarrassed, he's so... blunt. 

"Then what? You ignoring me or somethin'?" He asked, curling his lip, which was very sexy.

"No..." I muttered once more, I glanced up at him again as he fixed his face and looked at me blankly. 

"You shouldn't be out here." He said, his voice was a little more smoother but still rough around the edges, the way I imagined him talking to me during pillow talk.

He shook his head as he gripped the steering wheel of the hummer, he stared ahead at the changing streetlights.

"Then why are you out here?" I asked, I wasn't wanting to get bold with him, I just wanted to know. "Shouldn't you be somewhere safe too?"

"What the fuck you worried about me for?" He said in a very ghetto way, I quickly turned my attention away from him as he looked over at me with a pointed glare.

His attitude was confusing me, I didn't do anything to him... well, I didn't apologize to his "girlfriend", but that's it, nothing that truly affects him. I bit my lip again in wonder, why was he here right now anyway? He wasn't here to just cuss at me, who would waste their time by doing that, surely not Kasmin. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel again before taking a deep breath and glancing over at me.

"Get in." I frowned immediately.

"What?"

"Get in the 
fucking
 car." He said, his voice more stern and authoritative the second time. 

"Why, where are we going?" I asked, not moving a muscle.

"You coming or not? I don't have time for your fucking questions, Honey." 
He knew my name
...

"O-Okay." I said, getting to my feet and lifting Jaden to my shoulder, I then grabbed the Tupperware of food then slowly walked to the hummer.

I frowned as I tried to find a way to open the door, I decided to sit Jaden on the ground before pulling the hummer door open and climbing inside as he rubbed his eyes clear tiredly, I climbed in before setting the Tupperware on the dashboard then lifting Jaden into my lap. I glanced over at Kasmin as I closed the door, he pulled away from the curb and I felt my heart drop to my toes as I realized something, 
I'm in the same car with my crush... and we're the only two in here
. I found it hard to contain my excitement but I was managing as I stared at the dashboard before me, I should put my seatbelt on but I didn't want to make him think I didn't like his driving, I didn't want him to think I didn't like him at all. I watched as the landscapes we passed started to become familiar, it was still pretty bare of cars so we were making good progress instead of having to wait in traffic with others. 

"Where is everyone?" I asked more to myself than him. 

"Storm's girl got shot a hour or two ago," Kasmin explained, making me look at him with pity for his friend and plug, " for some KDs."

"Her shoes?" I asked, cocking my head.

He nodded slowly, not looking my way as he turned on the wrong street.

"I live back that way." I said, pointing in that direction while cutting my eyes to him then back out the window. 

"So?" He asked, cutting me a stern look before looking back out the windshield. "You're a target by being in that shitty ass building, and don't worry, ya moms not home either." He said with a smirk. 

I shook my head, feeling my stomach drop at the fact that she was probably getting some of him again tonight, 
I should be getting some of him
! I kept my eyes drawn to the things passing by as he drove, I had a knot in my stomach because I figured he was taking me to where she was. 
Why did she have to be such a whore? 
Why couldn't she had been like Auntie Jackie, intelligent and sophisticated with a nice paying job so her children didn't have to suffer. Auntie Jackie said her way of life was to never worry about a guy and get her money up, she wanted to provide for her future family and not put them in a hellhole like Mama did to us. I know she sees us as her children because there are times in life where I see her as our Mother, I feel safe around her and I can't wait for the day I meet the guy that I feel safe around. 

"That your baby bro?" Kasmin asked, making me suddenly realize the awkward silence that had fallen over us inside the car. 

"Yeah," I whispered, correcting the hood on his head, "he's getting sick."

Kasmin gave me yet another nod before turning on another road that I always avoided, it was where the druglords and prostitutes stayed with no shame and since cops ever really came this way, they were safe. 

"I don't like being this way." I told Kasmin, feeling panic fill me. 

"You don't have a choice, Shawty, you with me." He said, I felt my panic rise as I tightened my hold on Jaden and looked around with fear. "Damn, relax... I told you, you with me, ain't nobody gonna mess with you."

"And how do you know that?" I asked, thinking of Storm's girlfriend, they just wanted her KDs and shot her for them.

What if they want my shoes? What if they want my jacket? What if they want Jaden! Or me!
 I felt sick to the stomach as I felt the car come to a stop outside of a pretty well-kept place, I was expected boarded windows and the door missing but instead, it had neither. The two-story house had faded brown vinyl siding, with a black porch and bay window, which was the only thing boarded up. The front door was a grand brown door that had been painted over in black with a gold symbol to state who owned the house. 

"Cause if they do, I'ma put a bullet in'em." He said, giving me a reassuring look before opening the car door and climbing out, when he saw that I wasn't moving, he rose an eyebrow my way. "You comin' or what?"

I bit my lip nervously and glanced up and down the quiet street, not a person was in sight and I knew that this was cutting close so I decided to do Kasmin a favor instead of complaining or whining. I nodded slowly and pushed the door open before climbing out and juggling Jaden with my Tupperware of food, I pushed the car door closed with my body as Kasmin came along to my side and led me up to the house. I followed him closely, scared to be on someone's property that I didn't know, what if he decided to shoot me because he didn't know me, or because he didn't like what I looked like. I corrected Jaden as he laid asleep on my shoulder, I was curious to know if I would run into Mama or into Asiah while I'm inside this house. I bit my lip once more, which was becoming a very bad habit for me, I was scared to be in this area because the thought of being around a druglord terrified me. I wasn't safe and neither was Jaden, no matter what Kasmin said to reassure me, I should be at home right now. Kasmin started around the back of the house and I quickly followed, the side of the house was a little shittier than the front and I was almost positive the back of the house was going to be disgusting, trap-houses are disgusting. As we rounded the back, I saw a chain link fence but it was so dark that I couldn't see what was inside. I turned my attention away but got a eerie feeling that I was going to have the scare of my life, and it was true as I heard something smack against the fence and screamed in fear as I turned to see something baring it's teeth at me. I quickly pushed myself against Kasmin as he moved to open the back door, we both stumbled from the impact but caught himself by grasping onto my waist and also onto the open doorway. I buried my face into his chest, completely being oblivious to the perfume on him as he stared to help walk me into the traphouse, I couldn't believe this madness and I just wanted to run but I had seen things that I probably shouldn't had. Kasmin slammed the door shut behind him and did a loud whistle that made me flinch, I pulled my head away from his chest and alertly checked my surroundings to make sure nothing else would bare it's fangs at me with the attempt to injure me. I realized that I was by a kitchen and it was completely in halt, four naked women stood by counters and the island table while drinking from Styrofoam cups and passing a blunt between them. I was horrified by the sight as I stared in shock of their nudity, not to mention the loud screams coming from upstairs of someone having the time of their life, I stepped back into Kasmin and turned to look at him with shock as well.

"Kas, babe..." I turned to see who had called Kasmin their babe to see Asiah standing in nothing but a pair of lace green panties and a skimpy tank top that had a strap ripped off. "Why the fuck is this bitch here?" She yelled angrily as she noticed me. 

"Yo, chill out, Asiah." He said, stepping between us as I corrected Jaden in my hands.

"What the fuck you mean chill, Kasmin! This hoe came in with you!" I rose an eyebrow at the name calling.

"You can't call nobody a hoe, man." Someone said from out of nowhere. "You just got dicked down by Storm and his homie VJ so he can get their help." 

Oh, and she has the right to call someone a Hoe.

"Aye, go lay ya little bro down in the living room." Kasmin instructed me before he turned his back to me and started to angrily whisper to Aisha, who was looking butt-hurt at the moment. 

I carefully sat Jaden down on the couch in the living room, he immediately started to stir but luckily, he went back to sleep as I sat beside him nervously and rubbed my suddenly wet palms against my clothed thighs while glancing around the trap-house living room. A wall was broken into with a hole punched through the opposite one that I was facing, the lights flickered lowly and the soft buzzing of a distant bulb rung through the air as I stared into the gloominess of the next room. The screaming upstairs was starting to make me nervous, it wasn't because I was scared to have sex but it was because it reminded me that I was on the bad side of town and the person upstairs was probably having sex with a walking STD. I pulled Jaden close to me with anticipation, I was a little worried about us being this way and I knew it was probably safer to stay with Auntie Jackie but I was too far away to be going and I knew it'd be a fight with Kasmin before I left the trap-house. 

"Hey, you want something to drink?" A hollow, feminine voice asked, the person cleared their throat right afterward. 

I glanced behind me to see a very familiar teenager, her face was coated in foundation with smudged eyeliner, her dark brown eyes drooped and because she didn't have her light contacts in, they weren't the hazel that she always wore to school. Gee-Gee wore only a pair of lacy pink panties with a glittery pearl at the middle of the elastic band of them, she also wore a pair of dingy white socks and flip flops that looked a size to small on her large feet. Her wig was pulled into a messy bun with a streak or two of white substance that I didn't want to assume, a couple of bobby pins secured the wig to her head, she looked a hot mess and I was very shocked about what she was wearing so carefree with her breast out, showing her belly piercing.

"No." I said sternly, turning back around as I glanced down at Jaden then back around the living room with uncertainty.

"Alright, Kasmin said he'll be back, he had to run somewhere."

"He left me here?" I asked in disbelief, feeling complete displeasure about the entire situation. 

My chin dropped slightly as I stared at her in shock, she averted her eyes before scratching her forehead then looking back at me and nodding her head, I dropped my eyes to the dirty carpet then shook my head with a disbelieving, awkward smile on my face. 
This asshole left me in his trap-house... Lord, be my savior and don't let me gouge his eyes out when he come back...
 I leaned back on the couch before something surged in my head, Mama and Tiff had sex with Kasmin and the other boys on this nasty ass couch! I quickly lurched myself to my feet and stared at the leather couch in disgust before turning to look at Gee-Gee, she looked at me with confusion as I took a deep breath before calming myself to notice the leather couch in the video wasn't black like this one. 

"Nothing..." I muttered before taking a cautious seat back on the couch. 

I pulled Jaden close to me once more before clearing my own throat, a yawn immediately followed as I squinted my eyes closed and tensed up, I pulled my watery eyes open before wiping them with my free hand as my opposite one protectively hung over Jaden's shoulders as he laid leant against me. I laid back against the couch and pulled Jaden into my lap carefully, I corrected his hood once more and laid his head on my boob before closing my eyes and yawning once more, I blinked my watery eyes and squeezed them tightly as I drop of water fell from my eyes. I can't fall asleep here, I have to watch over Jaden, I glanced around be as I heard hush talking in the kitchen while the smell of marijuana rung through the air, meaning after a while, our clothes will start smelling like it as well.

No Music

Word Count: 3842

# Chapter Six

I took a deep whiff of air through my nose and yawned tiredly as I slowly pulled my eyes open to see a ceiling, I blinked a few more times before realizing I was waking up, I slowly pulled myself up and rubbed at my right eye aggressively as crust made it itchy. I managed to get them clear before taking in my surroundings, I was sitting under heavy covers in someone's bed that was pushed against the window as the sun tried to shine through the heavy, black curtains. I stretched my arms over my head before realizing something very important, critical actually, 
where the hell is my brother? 
Panic rose inside of me as I pushed the covers back and pulled myself up, I looked down to see I was still dressed in the same clothes, thank God that nothing happened to me. I pushed the door heavily, almost ripping it off the hinges as I frantically searched for my baby brother, 
they probably sold him for weed! Maybe they have him doing something stupid! HE MIGHT BE PLAYING WITH NEEDLES! OH FUCK!
 I took a deep breath to calm myself as I entered the hall and hurried down the stairs and made a beeline for the kitchen, where a lot of commotion was happening.  

I came to an abrupt halt at the packed kitchen, the small round table was packed with gambling folks as they shot dice while sipping a couple of 40ozs from the corner store not to far away, shirtless girls from different age groups ranging from teenagers to probably early thirties hung around with Styrofoam cups, and they all seemed to be rotating blunts around the room while happily socializing and laughing at stupid remarks while music boomed through a stereo nearby. I spotted Kasmin at the round table, he swooped up the dice after throwing his bet down before tossing them and making a good play, causing a lot of loud but only verbal ruckus to erupt from the table as Kasmin took the other men's bets. I looked over the many smiling faces to my dismay before looking back at the table to see Kasmin now paying attention to a boy that was standing beside Kasmin's chair at the round table, it was as if the child was forced to stand there and not move or he'd get in trouble. The heavy black coat told me it was Jaden as he stood with his hood still on, his eyes nervously surveying the crowd as he held a Styrofoam cup with both of his tiny hands, I released a breath of relief as his eyes fell on me and they almost glowed at my presence. I reached up and willed my heart to rest as I lifted my finger and immediately gestured for him to come to me, he quickly moved as Kasmin made his bet without noticing Jaden leave his side.

Jaden ran into the front of me and stayed there as I protectively wrapped my arms around him as I looked at the crowd, they laughed and partied like it was no tomorrow early in the morning, I spotted Aisah as she walked over to Kasmin in a pair of the shortest denim shorts known to man-kind and a skimpy, lace tanktop and stilettos. Her extensions fell along her shoulders as she took a seat on his lap and smiled down at his questionably, Kasmin said something back with a face of confusion before he looked in the spot where Jaden was once standing and it was as if panic filled him as he looked around with wide eyes. I stared at him as our eyes made contact as he noticed me holding Jaden close to me and I easily noticed he had relaxed though he tried to hide it. I looked down at Jaden and surveyed him for a second before reaching down and pulling his hood off his head, I glanced in the Styrofoam cup he was holding to see something blue swirling in it as he held it at an angle, almost threatening to spill it over the floor and my legs. 

"... and I said bitch, run up then! That hoe..."
 

"... I meet this dike bitch last night, right..."

"... head and throw the dice! Miss, and its yo' ass fam! Best...."
 

"... keep a spare Glock in my compartment, these niggas slimy as..."

I glanced at the loud kitchen again before lifting Jaden into my arms and turning to walk out, I walked to the back door and pulled the door open to leave when a hand shot out and slammed it closed on me. I flinched and turned around to see Kasmin staring down at me with his smoldering hazel eyes, I stared up at him with my lips slightly parted as he looked my face over before meeting my eyes and cocking his head with a tiny smirk on his face. 

"What?" I asked quietly.

"Where you going?" He asked, almost in a mocking way.

I frowned a little before glancing around to see some people followed him in toe to be nosy, he immediately blocked my vision and rose an eyebrow at me. I nervously bit my lip as I thought long and hard about his question, I knew the wrong answer could of gotten me and trouble and I wasn't dealing with the Kasmin from school, I was dealing with the Kasmin from the streets and I knew this Kasmin was as dangerous as it got. 

"I said: Where you going?" He repeated, gently grabbing my chin so I was forced to look at him.

"H-Home...?" I trailed in almost a question, I immediately tried to look away but he kept a grip on my chin.

"Already?" He asked, dropping his hand from my chin and taking a step back with a smug look on his face. "What you ain't feeling the celebration?" He extended his arms as I smelt the lingering scent of alcohol.

"No." I said, staring at him before nervously taking a step back, pushing myself against the door. 

"Alright, cool..." He said, reaching up and scratching his head before nodding slowly and staring at the ground. "You wanna go home? You want me to take you?"

"You're drunk." I told him, 
I hope he know that means no.

"And?" 
Of course his drunk, sexy ass don't.

I shook my head, glancing down at Jaden as he held his cup with both his hands while innocently looking between Kasmin and I. The stench of smoke was in the air and it was almost suffocating, I knew the others were used to this but I wasn't, plus I had to get to school today and I had a feeling I was already tardy. 

"I need to get to school." I told him to be reasonable. 

"You going to school?" Kasmin asked me. "It's Friday, turn the fuck up, girl." He put his arms around my waist and tried to pull me closer to him.

"Kasmin, stop." I said, pushing against his chest as he chuckled and released me. 

"Man, you buggin'." Kasmin said, looking me up and down and sexually biting his bottom lip before smirking at me. "We should go upstairs."

"No, Kasmin." I said, turning to leave.

I gasped in utter shock as he pushed himself up against me, actually pinning me to the back door as I quickly tried to get away from him, no matter how much I fantasized about us actually doing something, the real thing was unwanted. I felt panic rise in me as I pushed him away and he chuckled, I took that as a chance to pull the door open but he was quicker as he slammed it shut before I could leave and I pushed at him, now becoming aggravated. 

"Stop!" I yelled, turning to open the door and this time, he didn't slam it on me, I need to leave and I won't be coming back, I can promise that!

                                                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hallways were dead quiet, something I wasn't surprised about, when I entered because I knew Kasmin and his friends wouldn't be roaming around while waiting for action to happen or for school to end. I only wore a pure white see-through, knee length skirt with a tucked in short-sleeved, black V-neck that showed the swells of my breast that were accented by my favorite push-up bra. I decided to wear my hair in crinkly curls that fell heavily around me, I found myself to be a beautiful individual now that I was dressing up more and more and now I was going to see this tardy as a grand entrance, as long as Auntie Jackie doesn't find out about it. My suede ankle boots clicked against the tile floors of the hallway as I walked to the Principal's office to get a pass for class, of course after I got my tardy put into the system, before I head to class and got ready to learn. 

"Tardy?" The woman behind the secretary desk asked.

"Yeah..." I drawled in embarrassment, I vowed to myself this would be a one time thing. 

"Reason?" She asked, typing on her computer as she chewed mint gum drastically. 

"No alarm." I said in a monotone voice, feeling ashamed about the real reason.

"Ms. Basset?" I looked over as Principal Reynolds exited his office with a face of confusion. "What are you doing in here?"

"Tardy." I muttered, dropping my eyes to the ground as I nervously corrected the straps of my backpack on my shoulders. 

"Tardy?" He asked, glancing over at the secretary, who nodded as she paused her gum chewing and squinted at the screen. "Don't worry about it, Ms. Wines, head to class and tell... who are you going to?"

"Mr. Ryan."

"Alright. Tell him I sent an email, don't let me catch you in here again, Ms. Basset, unless it's for something good."

"Yes, Sir." I said, immediately feeling relief wash over me as I realized my perfect discipline wasn't screwed any longer. 

I happily turned as Ms. Wines went back to viciously chewing her minty gum while watching me walk away, I could feel her eyes boring into the back of my head as I exited the office and shut the door behind me gently. I was thankful that Mr. Reynolds had showed up because I knew she wouldn't of hesitated to hand me a tardy slip and pass for the hour I was joining, I took a heavy gulp as I slowly stalked toward class without a rush,
 what if someone ask where I was? Does anyone know I was with Kasmin last night? Would people assume we're dating... would that necessarily be a bad thing?
 I grabbed the handle to Mr. Ryan's door and pushed it to find it was locked, I knocked three times gently before glancing up and down the hall as the door pulled open and I turned my attention to see that someone had opened it for me. I entered as Mr. Ryan got to his feet and looked at me with confusion.

"Mr. Reynolds said he'll send you an email." I said, walking to a open seat in the back because someone had filled mine. 

"Alright, we're just working on our packets from yesterday." I nodded and pulled my backpack off before taking my seat cautiously.

I felt all the eyes on me as they watched me open my backpack and pull my binder out, I opened it and took the chance to glance around to see that people were actually staring at me and I almost feared that my business had gotten around, people knew that Kasmin had took me to the trap-house last night. I pulled my packet out and glanced to Mr. Ryan as he stared at me over his book with a rose eyebrow, I frowned at the attention as I wondered if something was on my face. I bit my lip and flared my eyebrows before reaching up and delicately brushing my nose to make sure nothing was there, I glanced around the room as people shared looks before glancing gin my direction and pretending to work on their anatomy packets. I flipped my packet open and went directly to the fifth page out of the seven present, I was so close to being done and I had planned on finishing two pages last night but you can see I got caught up. 
Just stop staring... just stop staring... stop staring... stop... staring... 
I closed my eyes and released a deep breath as I corrected my packet but tucking a couple of other pages to the back and siting over the first question present. 

22. Number the layers of skin from one to three: 1. Epidermis 2. Dermis 3. Hypodermis

23. What muscle in the skin causes goosebumps: Arrector Pili...

  

24. Gland that release sweat through tiny openings in the skin: Skip

25. Tiny openings in the sk-

A loud abrupt knock caused me to jump in my seat, also scaring a couple of other people as we all turned to see who was at the door next, I felt my eyebrow raise unintentionally as Darrion entered when Mr. Ryan opened the door. He handed his pass over and threw up his gang sign to a couple of his friends at they started to egg on his appearance, I felt my stomach turn as I didn't notice the small group of them at first, they probably spread my business because Asiah told them to. I pushed a strand crinkle hair out of my face and blinked a couple of times before biting my lip and glancing back at them, the group consisted of two girls and two guys, not including the new arrival to the group. The first girl had her hair brown-to-blonde ombre weave with a red hat that read

 F*ck It All

, she wore a thin, red crop top that stopped just below her breast and threatened to show her bra as she leaned across her desk and socialized with some of the guys around her. She finished her attire with a pair of white pants that had a brown spot at the knee and black and red Jordans that looked a size too big on her feet but her outfit was what I would of expected from her. She had a washboard stomach, completely flat with a ruby belly button piercing that glittered whenever it turned to the light, her skin appeared soft and caramel with foundation covering her face and glittery eyeliner framing her eyes and fake eyelashes. She also wore glittery black lipstick on her lips, hoop earrings dangled from her ears that swirled with every motion she made, her eyes were a soft gold color from her contacts as she laughed and playfully flirted with one of the guys that flirted with her. Her name is Tahia Ross, known for giving the best head and you can already guess who told the whole school over social media, the sexy King himself, Kasmin. 

The second girl, Ralia Johnson, had the ugliest shade of green hair known to the world, she had attempted it to match her green contacts but it had miserably failed, and to make it worse, she had attempted to fix it by bleaching her hair and then dying it a brown but the green happened to come back and her hair was beyond damaged after what it went through. Today, she wore a silver high-low dress that was very see-through, it showed her navy blue bra and brown panties, I was sure she had told everyone it was on purpose but I knew it wasn't, it was just her everyday wardrobe malfunction. Amalia finished her attire with a pair of wedge heels that I knew made her feet cramp up, her milk chocolate skin glistened with sweat as she sat with her hair pulled into two Goddess braids, she had a couple of silver bead cuff clips to add a little glamour. Her lips were small and she painted red lipstick over them with her eyelashes covered in mascara, her eyes were also circled in eyeliner and she finished hers with a cat-eye tip. 

Next were the two guys, the first was handsome as hell, he stood a nice six feet with his hair styled in a curly afro fade, his eyes were dark brown and glittered when he smiled his pearly white smile that used to catch my attention when I was younger. He was still the cutest guy, well, that was until I met Kasmin and fell head over hills for a thug that had grown hardheaded and dangerous to society but I didn't care because I loved a man that was real and protective over everything he owned. The guy, Junie Turner, had nice chocolate skin and I knew under his heavy layers of coats, he was masculine and could easily stand up for himself if it ever came to that point, and it has a couple of times. Junie hated his name but it was what made him who he truly was, I secretly loved his name because of how unique it was to the male race, and while he had constantly got teased for it when we were younger, I still felt he had no reason to actually hate his name. Last was all too familiar, Ray, he wore a black hoodie with Tupac on the front and a solid black beanie that said 

Thug Life

 on it. He finished his very simple attire with a pair of saggy red skinny jeans and red Air Jordans, including a smart watch on his wrist as he leaned back in his chair with distaste of Darrion's presence. 

"Get to work, people in the back." Mr. Ryan said, making me turn my attention to look at him as he glared at the group of people.

I was in desperate need for a break, I wanted to get away from school as soon as possible and it felt like the hours were tickling by so slowly, I was ready to get home to Jaden but I knew that the world was against me at this moment. I wasn't sure what people knew exactly but I knew they knew something and I was going to find out what it was, even if I had to do a little Facebook or Twitter page stalking to see, and I would gladly do it with no shame because I didn't want my name going around the school as if I was a hoe. I took pride in myself too much to take such a disgusting name, I was called many of things that I lived up to: 
smart, wise, fat, strong, ugly, ambitious,
 and even 
carefree
 but this was something I couldn't let cause me any trouble in the long run. The good side of being tardy to school was that I had skipped Mr. Common's class, meaning I wouldn't find out who I was paired with on this stupid project he lectured us on about all week. 

No Music

Word Count: 3201

# Chapter Seven

"Have a good weekend." 
I'll try...

I glanced to the clock to see it ready a minute past our actually dismissal but I didn't mind as I grabbed my binder and stored it away in my organized backpack, I got to my feet and corrected my skirt before pulling my backpack onto my shoulders and heading to the door, being one of the last three to leave the classroom. I wasn't in a rush to get home becuase I knew Mama was probably waiting, either drunk or high, and I didn't have the patience to take care of her and Jaden at the same time. I crossed my arms under my breast and walked at a strolling pace, glancing around as many people wandered through the halls while waiting on friends and even siblings. I was estatic but also annoyed, I had just found out a Teacher-In-Service would be happening Monday so we would also have no school on that day but the reason I was upset was because i would have nothing to do the whole weekend but babysit. It wasn't a big problem but I had hoped to spend some time on my own and just relax after the busy days I've had, I was anxious to know who Mr. Common had partnered me up with but I had decided to leave that until Tuesday, the day we would return to school. I exited the school building and glanced around the front as I spotted many cars slowly cruising by in the hopes of not hitting a stray walking teenager as they rushed to their cars or toward the transit bus. I walked slowly, hearing the clicking of my heels against the concrete pavement of the high school's sidewalk while heading toward the transit bus myself. I glanced behind me as I noticed a black Hummer slowly cruising by, I stared and walked onward as it came to a slow rolling motion before stopping right beside me and the tinted passenger seat rolled down. Kasmin stared at me as I stared at him before I stopped walking and uncrossed my arms to stare at him directly, we continued to stare at each other as he waited for me to climb in the hummer and I waited for him to apologize. 

"Get yo' ass in the car." He said so thuggishly, almost making me shiver but I pushed the feeling of desire away with the reminder of the stunt he pulled this morning, he had to apologize before I went anywhere near him. 

"Apologize and I will." I proposed, making me curl his lip at me.

I knew that if he didn't care, he'd pull off and I was expecting him to but instead, he stared out the front window as cars went around his hummer, a few of them blew their horn and I immediately recognized them to belong to Darrion and Keshawn as they zoomed by at high speeds, causing my hair to flare around me. I waited patiently, wanting to hear a sincere apology as he continued to stare out the front window but I already knew he was debating on apologizing to me. I shrugged and started to walk again, he cruised his car beside me like last night until I stopped and looked at him with an expression of aggravation but I was actually liking his attention.

"...I...ry..." Cars roared by on the opposite side, going dangerous speeds and making it hard to hear what Kasmin was saying.

"What?" I asked loud enough for him to hear over the traffic.

"I said: I'm sorry, I shouldn't of don' that, now climb your ass in the truck! Damn!" He said with aggravation but I didn't mind because I had got my apology.

I walked to the door and pulled it open before tossing my backpack on the floor, which Kasmin grabbed and sat in the backseat behind the passenger chair, I climbed in and closed the door behind me as Kasmin looked me up and down before turning his attention back to the road before him and pulling away from the curb. I smiled as I stared at the passing apartments, I glanced over at Kasmin as he drove with one hand braced on the steering wheel and the other holding the gear shift, I sat with one of my chubby thighs crossed over the other and my hands nestled in between my stomach and thighs as I stared at the Hummer H2 for a better look. It was nice and cozy with a matte black interior, I leaned back into the cushion of the seat before glancing over at Kasmin once more as we pulled to as top light. 

"Why you pick me up?" I asked, really wondering what he was up to.

"..." Silence, that's what I received.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, sitting up with a little worry now.

"..." Again, Silence was what I received. 

"Kasmin." I said, thinking that maybe I didn't have his attention. "Kasmin!"

"It's all good, school 'ight?" He asked, making me look at him in confusion before slowly nodding. 

"I almost got a tardy but Principal Reynolds saved me." I told him, glancing over at him once more before looking down at my black suede wedge booties. 

Kasmin slowly nodded, glancing over at me before he took the chance to survey my body once more then pull off at the forever-lasting red light, I wasn't sure what his little glances were for but I knew something wasn't right with him, no matter how much he ignored me or said he was okay. Without thinking, I placed my hand over his, the one that was resting on the gear shift, and waited as he flinched almost immediately and stared ahead as he drove, making me bit my lip nervously before I curled my fingers on the inside of his palm and waited until he acknowledged me. The back of his hand felt so nice and large, and warm against the inside of my palm as I rested my hand over his, I could feel his bones as they sat tensed inside his skin and I almost took my hand away but I decided to push forward with this tiny plan of mine. 

"Kasmin..." I whispered, gently tickling his palm with my finger tips. "I'm talking to you." I whispered.

"I know." He said, not turning to look at me nor pull his hand away from mine. "It's all handled, don't worry 'bout it." 

"I am, cause you're ignoring me." I told him, I started to pull my hand away from his finally but in such a quick motion, he grabbed mine and squeezed it tightly.

I stared at him a moment longer as he held my petite, dainty hand in his large one, I felt my breath hitch as he curled his fingers with mine and I could only sit and watch as he gently stroked the back of my thumb with the pad of his. I turned my attention back to him to see that he was still watching the road, I bit my lip and fought the large smile trying to come over my face as he relaxed in his seat and freely drove. I turned my attention back out the front window and watched the passing cars as we drove behind a beat-up truck that seemed to be heading the same way we were. I relaxed in my own seat, closing my eyes and yawning before sighing softly.

"Don't go to sleep." His deep voice penetrated the quiet atmosphere in the truck. "We're hitting up the store."

"Hitting up the store?" I asked in confusion, 
we're going to steal from a store?!

"Yeah, I got some shit there."

"How about... no." I said, making him cut his eyes at me before turning to look back out the front window. 

"What?" He asked, shooting me a glare but not releasing my hand from his grip.

"I'm not going, handle that business when I'm not around so you can get arrested on your own." I said, trying to pull my hand away from him but he kept his grip tight on my hand. "Let me go." 

"The hell is yo' problem, ma?" He asked, glaring at me even more as I rolled my eyes and tried to pull my hand away once more.

"Let me go, Kasmin." I said, now trying to wiggle my hand out of his.

"Yo, chill out, man." He said, only squeezing my hand tighter and it was starting to piss me off. "Yo' ass got mood swings or something?"

"No, I'm not stealing from a store." I told him, now managing to get my hand free.

"Who the fuck said I was stealing?" He said, looking at me with his mouth slightly agape.

"You said you're 
hitting up a store
, that usually means stealing!" I confessed, now glaring at him.

"Yo' ass about to feel real stupid." He said, pulling along the curb and cutting the truck off. "Stay here, alright, I have to get a load."

Stupid my ass, he's going to be feeling stupid when I'm not here when his stupid ass get back... 
stupid, sexy ass
. I watched as he climbed out the Hummer and slammed the door shut, but not before shooting me another glare, it sent a shiver through me and I didn't fight it this time. I sighed and turned to watch Kasmin walk inside the store, a small crowd of trouble-makers hung around and they ignored his presence, probably for the better considering he was rather popular for his bad reputation. I waited patiently, wanting to see what his plans were and if he was really stealing or not. Kasmin pushed the door open and paused outside the door before glancing around and stepping from the door, he upped his head at the group of young wanna-be gangsters hanging around, they immediately returned his greeting before going back to talking to each other. 
Should I get out?
 I debated my choice as I watch him glance at the glittering watch on his wrist before he fixed his black t-shirt and shoved his hand in his sagging jeans patiently. The door to the store opened and the owner walked out with a cardboard box in his hand, Kasmin lead him to the truck and opened the back with the button on the back, I glanced behind me as the cashier sat the package inside the trunk. I squinted my eyes curiously as Kasmin handed him three crispy twenties before slamming the trunk closed and walking around the driver side.

"What was that?" I asked before he could even climb in the truck.

"Food." He said, climbing in before shooting me an patient look.

"What?" I asked, he slammed the door while still watching me. 

"I'm waiting." He said, a small smirk forcing its way on his face.

"Oh, you want 
me
 to apologize?" I said with disbelief, a smile coming on my face as I giggled a little. "Hmmm... let's see..."

"I'm still waiting." He said, I rolled my eyes with a smile still on my face.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, making him move closer like he didn't hear it.

"Huh? I couldn't hear you." Kasmin said jokingly.

"Shut up." I playfully pushed his shoulder and he chuckled before starting the truck up again. "What you got food for, your trap-house?"

"Naw." He pulled away from the curb and we were back on the road. "For Rainbow Daycare."

"Is that sarcasm?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Naw, part of being a gangster is protecting the ones you love and I love my Mama." He said, glancing over at me as I sheepishly looked away, I love a family man.

"That's good, and speaking of family, I still have to go get Jaden." I reminded him, giving him a tiny smile as I felt my heart swell, he's so different from what I would of expected.

"We can get him first." Kasmin said, making me glance over at him. "What?"

"Nothing." I said, a smile on my face.

"What?" he asked, a smile now lingering on his face.

"I said: nothing." My smile growing wider as he shook his head before touching the radio.

...Said I'm big on you and I'm wanting you. So tell me what's up...*

I immediately started bobbing my head as I mouthed the words, Kasmin glanced over at me as the song ended too soon but I was upset as the next song started to echo throughout the truck walls, I bobbed my head as the next song caused me to slowly move my upper body.

... Girl, I know you're scared of love, but you never had a love like this. I know you been hurt before but you never had a love like this...**

"You lame as hell." Kasmin said, making me roll my eyes.

"Shut up! 

I'm the type of guy that don't make promises, I wanna be the love of your life, don't be scared

." I sung along, snapping my fingers with the beat. "

Like this. Like this. Like this

. You're a hater."

"Hating on what?" He asked, a smile still on his face. "Where am I getting your brother from?"

"My Auntie house, she lives on Watson Street." I said, glancing out the window before looking back at him as he slowly nodded while continuing to listen to the music. "Oh, and I'm lame. You seem to be feeling it yourself."

"It's 'ight." I rolled my eyes at his response, knowing he actually liked the song.

A silence fell over us as we slowly nodded our heads to the ongoing music that seemed to never want to end, and I didn't want this music to end because when it did, so did this little fun that I was having. I would be back in the real world when this ride was over, Kasmin would go back to ignoring me and I'll still be at home, stuck with a dopehead mother that couldn't keep her legs closed and too many responsibilities as a teenager. 

"You alright?" Kasmin asked, probably noticing the mood change.

"Yeah..." I whispered, not wanting to talk about my worries to him. 

"No you ain't." He said, he had decided to take the highway to get around town, which included going to my Auntie's house. "Talk to me."

"It's nothing, I'm just tired." 

"Of me? Already? Dam-"

"No, not of you." I laughed half-heartedly, because I knew he'd be the one that got tired of me. 

"I'm just playin', but what's up, forreal." He pushed, making me glance at him before I dropped my eyes to my black suede boots once more. 

"I'm just..." I sighed as I debated on how to start, I 
can't... I'm scared... Are you really... Is this just... Could we ever... Am I...
 I released a sigh. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Then rant, man. Tell me what's on that pretty little mind of yours." He said, making me bit my lip and debate if I should trust him with my feelings or not. "Come on, talk."

"After this, I have to go home and take care of my Mama with Jaden at my side and the fear that she hasn't sold us for some dope, I'll have to give Jaden a bath because he probably pissed himself and Mama's going to get mad because he doesn't know how to wait until he goes to the bathroom yet. I'll have to get into a fight with her which will only make it only worse, I'll have come up with fifty-nine dollars for rent, eighty for daycare hours, and about fifty for groceries-"

"That's not your job." Kasmin said, cutting me off finally as my ranting started to go too far.

"But it is," I said, glancing over at him while trying to not pout in sadness of my terrible reality, "I wear the top-hat in my family because my Mama can't raise me or my brother so she turns to drinking and smoking, Jaden's too young to stand up for himself and might not be able to get into school until she gets it together-"

"Don't worry about that, you're young, you have to-"

"But I have to worry Kasmin, don't you see?" I reached up and angrily wiped a tear. "I don't have a choice, I'm alon-"

"No your not." He said, grabbing my hand that I was wiping my tears away with. "I'm here, no matter what you think, I got you." 

I forced him a smile before looking away while clutching his hand in a soft, quiet prayer to the Lord that he wasn't going to leave me. 
Please, My Lord, don't let me down. Don't let him slip away, have him notice me and see I'm what he needs. Don't let him hurt me. Please. 
I prayed, hoping the Lord was listening to my pleads as I squeezed my eyes tightly and pulled Kasmin and I's entwined hand closet my chest, resting it over my heart as I continued to softly pray,
 nothing is ever fair, why me? My Lord, don't let me get hurt this time, please.
 I took a heavy gulp as an ache in my throat irritated me to no end, I now needed a drink as my dry throat screamed for something to release the ache. I reached up and wiped my second round of tears before lightly smiling at him and laying back in the seat as we pulled onto to Auntie Jackie's street, I pointed out her house and Kasmin pulled to the side.

"I'll be right back." I said, opening the door and carefully stepping out.

I hurried to the door as it pulled open and Jaden pushed the screen door open forcefully, he hurried to me with a half-eaten Oreo in his hand, I smiled and lifted him up as I walked into Auntie Jackie's house, she was rambling on the phone with an expression of anger.

"... she should be there!" She yelled angrily. "What the hell you mean she never showed up, fuck this shit! I'm coming up there and I'ma put my foot in your ass! Then we'll see who's in the system, you dumb bitch! Hell no! No! If you hang up on me, I swear to God I'l...

FUCKING CUNT

!"

I stared on at Auntie Jackie as she slammed the house phone down and stomped toward the kitchen before noticing me, she paused and stared at me before taking a deep breath. I corrected Jaden on my hip and frowned at her with worry, she was beyond pissed and I knew it had something to do with the Rehab Center that Auntie Jackie was trying to send Mama to, and from the sound of it, Mama had never showed up like she was suppose to. 

"I have to go to Atlanta like I figured, your Mama ran off again." I sighed as I slowly nodded. "I don't know how long it'll be but... be good." She disappeared into the kitchen as I grabbed Jaden's bag and slid it on my shoulder.

I felt tears slid down my cheek as I walked, the sun nestled along the horizon as I slowly stalked to the Hummer, I refused to acknowledge my feelings as I pulled the door open with my free hand and pulled the bag off my shoulder to sit it on the ground. I glanced at Kasmin as he watched me silently cry, I pulled myself up into the passenger seat and sat Jaden on my lap as he slowly chewed his cookie. I stared into his face while he stared at Kasmin, I couldn't build enough courage to look at Kasmin myself as I gulped and finally reached up to wipe my tears, a hiccup escaped unexpectedly before I sobbed loudly and clutched Jaden tightly to me. 
What a crybaby.
 I held him tightly, crying as Kasmin finally pulled me close to him before gently pecking my head, at least I had him too and that's when I realized something: It's just me, Kasmin, and Jaden right now. 

* U Know What's Up Donell Jones(In Story)

** Love Like This Donell Jones(Top)

Word Count: 3384

# Chapter Eight

I slowly pulled myself up with a slow stretch, I rubbed my face gently before glancing around my bedroom to find Jaden on the floor with his 
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
 book that he was reading aloud to Kasmin. I rotated my neck before looking over to see Kasmin and Jaden both staring at me, Jaden pulled himself to his feet and rushed over to the bed before trying to climb up. I pulled him up with a smile on my face before tickling his belly as he giggled and playfully kicked at my arm for me to stop. I glanced over at Kasmin as he watched on with his hands resting on his knees, which we pulled up into a comfortable positon on the pallet underneath him. He had stayed the night and while had offered him the couch, he decided he wanted to sleep on the floor beside me, something I gladly didn't protest to.  

"Morning." I said. "I need to go the bathroom then I'll make some breakfast."

I pulled myself up and Jaden climbed off the bed next to follow me to the bathroom, I glanced behind me to see that Kasmin was also following me but he broke off as I entered the bathroom and he walked to the kitchen. Him spending the night didn't go as you would of planned, all we did was talk a little then hit the hay, I woke up in the middle of the night to hear him snoring like a whale before I rolled over and went back to sleep. We didn't stay up talking about his lifestyle or mine, we only talked about the latest school projects for the classes we shared and what my plans were now that I was alone. I washed my hands thoroughly before exiting the bathroom, I swiftly made my way to the kitchen and tossed a dirty bowl of dried oatmeal into the sink with a sound of disgust, I turned the front left stove eye on and walked to the fridge as Kasmin and Jaden made their way to the living room. 

"Something wrong with y'all TV?" Kasmin asked, smacking the TV remote against his hand.

I looked through the small window of the kitchen wall facing the living room and nodded my head, he looked at me questionably. His handsome face couture with confusion before I realized he didn't notice me nod at him, his hair was rather untamed and mashed in the back from him laying on it but it only made him cuter as he stared at me. 

"Yeah, Jaden spilled some water on it when he was younger... I think it was water." I can't remember, that was too long ago. I grabbed a couple a carton of untouched eggs and walked to the counter to set them on. 

"Damn..." Kasmin carelessly tossed the remote aside and slouched on the couch, he looked at Jaden as Jaden sat on the ground and stared at him. "Alright, little man, what we doing?"

I couldn't help the small smile that came over my face over my face as Jaden cutely shrugged before cocking his head patiently, he was waiting for Kasmin to find them something to do and from the looks of it, Kasmin seemed just as clueless. I lightly chuckled as I grabbed a bowl and cracked five eggs inside, I whisked them together with a fork before grabbing butter out the fridge while glancing in on Kasmin and Jaden. 

"You two can... find something to draw on, there's paper somewhere around here."

"I'm a thug, I don't draw." Kasmin replied, looking at me with a deadpan expression.

I rolled my eyes. "And you're acting like someone's going to know." I said, shaking my head as I turned back to the stove and dumped a spoonful of butter inside the warming skillet.

"Girls like you can't keep your mouth shut, I've had my share."

"Boy please, you'll never find a girl like me because I ain't like any of these other girls around here." I said truthfully while meaning every word.

"Word?" He asked, a smirk on his face. 

"Word." I repeated mockingly, a light smile on my face as I dumped my bowl of scrambled, raw eggs in the hot skillet.

They immediately sizzled as I stirred them at the fast cooking pace, I worked with speed as I quickly scraped at the bottom of the skillet in the hopes that the eggs wouldn't stick. I glanced behind me to see Kasmin shuffling around the living room, he entered the kitchen and came to  a stop at the archway, making me glance over at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What?"

"Nothing." He replied sternly, making my eyebrow raise higher.

"Really?" I asked, smiling lightly as I shook my head and turned back to the eggs before me. 

"..." Silence was his reply as he stood and watched me finish cooking scrambled eggs.

I grabbed three plates and put a helping of eggs on each, giving Jaden a little more than me because I knew he as probably hungry since he didn't eat dinner last night, I left the plates on the counter as I exited the kitchen and headed to my room to change my clothes. I dressed in a pair of black comfortable shorts and a black tanktop that showed the large swell of my breast, of course I was pushing the limit with Kasmin but I had to know if he at least saw something about me attractive. I dressed quickly, biting my teeth into my bottom lip nervously as I took a deep breath and said a silent prayer to the man above before pulling the door open and stepping out just as Jaden pulled Kasmin toward the back rooms. I rose an eyebrow with a small smile as Jaden clutched Kasmin hand tightly, his face focused as he made his way to his bedroom that he rarely slept in with a face of determination. It was adorable to see the two interact, even better that Kasmin wasn't trying to pitch a fit about Jaden leading the way or about Jaden touching him period. I followed behind him, positive that Jaden was going to show off his Hot Wheels collection that I kept up to date with little gifts for I'm occasionally but I've been slacking lately with money being incredibly tight and so much complication. Jaden sat Kasmin on the bed and hurried to his box of cars silently, I leaned against the doorframe and watched as Kasmin accepted the small box of cars and started looking through them. He made a face that said he was pretty impressed with the collection before lifting a small ambulance and a small smile came over his face as he hit the switch button and the lights turned on. 

"Cool, little man." Kasmin commented, turning the switch back off as Jaden beamed up at him. "Who got you the ambulance?"

"Sista'." Jaden said, pointing an almost accusing finger at me, I smiled lightly as Kasmin glanced at me then back at the Hot Wheels ambulance truck. 

"What's your sister's collection? What does she keep?" Kasmin asked, a small smirk on his face as Jaden pondered to the sky before shrugging unsurely. "Nothing?"

"Pan'." Jaden said, pointing to me again as I tried to think of what he was saying.  

"What?" Kasmin asked, looking at him at confusion as well.

"Pan'." Jaden repeated, now cocking his head as he stared at Kasmin. 

"Jaden..." I said as it dawned on me. "Don't say another word." I said.

"Haha no, keep going, little man." Kasmin encouraged. 

"Hush, Jaden." I huffed, putting a hand over my eyes as I shook my head. "Listen, I got chocolate!" I lied.

Jaden's head immediately snapped my way and he looked up at me with wild eyes while slowly making his way to me with his hand open, I saw Kasmin digging for something in his pocket as I quickly thought of a way to get him chocolate so he'd keep his mouth shut.

"I got chocolate too, little man. You want it?" Kasmin said, pulling out a small Hersey's Kiss.

Jaden turned and eagerly hurried back to Kasmin, he went to reach for the chocolate but Kasmin moved it out of his reach and gave him a stern look.

"Jaden." I said, hoping to catch his attention once more. 

"Tell me, what's your sister's collection?"

"Pan'." Jaden said.

"Panties, huh?" Kasmin smirked, making me groan as I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Does she have any pretty ones?"

"Kasmin!" I said, stomping my foot, causing him to laugh.

"I just wanna know," He passed Jaden the candy and leaned back on Jaden's small bed, staring up at me with an expression of hunger, it made me a little uneasy, " incase I ever run across a pair from your Mama."

"Get out." I said, now longer finding his jokes funny as he cocked his head and rose an eyebrow at me.

"Mama?" Jaden asked, staring at Kasmin with an expression of confusion.

"Leave, Kasmin." I grabbed Jaden's shoulder and pulled him toward me as I stepped out the way for Kasmin to leave the room, to leave the apartment.

"I'm just joking." Kasmin said half-heartily, I shook my head and stared at the carpet in Jaden's room. "Look, I'm sorry."

I looked up at Kasmin with a pout as he smiled lightly at me before climbing to his feet, he moved closer to me and I released Jaden while turning to move away but Kasmin was quick as he pushed me back and pinned me against the wall, I gasped as I stared at him with wide eyes. He moved close and pushed his forehead against mine, making me stare at him with shock as my eyes dropped to his juice, kissable lips then back up to his sexy, darkened eyes that bared into my soul. He was so handsome and I just wanted to curl up into him and never let him go, but then I remembered something very important, something important enough to make me turn my head whenever he tried to peck my lips, 
stupid me
...

"Your girlfriend, I don't think she'd like you doing this." I whispered, staring at him as part of me hoped he'd ignore me and try to kiss me again.

If he did, I wouldn't object to him, instead, I'd kiss him just as eagerly and hope that things wouldn't get carried away in front of Jaden. I wasn't saying that I'd have sex with this guy, but I wouldn't mind him leaving my body shaking and close to a climax if it got to that point, he was so sexy and just the thought of him being in my home still hadn't registered yet. However, Kasmin pulled away and took a step back with a slow nod, I dropped my eyes to the tattoo on his forearm, 

Fully Clutched and True

 with the L in 
Clutched
 being the shape of a gun. I reached forward and ran my fingers over it gently, feeling the smooth skin present as he watched my fingers caress his skin. 

"What's the word?" He asked me, making me gently look up at him.

"To what?" I asked.

"To my heart." He said, gently grabbing my chin and making me take a step closer to him as I moved onto my tippy-toes.

"Kasm-"

"Say it, Honey." He whispered demandingly, his juicy lips begging to be kissed... 
or was I just wanting to kiss him anyway?

"I don't..." I didn't know the word, I looked up at him pleading.

"
Please
." He said gently, pushing a curly strand of hair out of my eye vision.

"Please." I repeated, realizing how desperate I sounded.

"Please." He said once more.

"Please." I repeated again, noticing that he had drawn closer to me, our lips almost touching as our breaths brushed amongst each other. "Please, Kasmin, finally be mine."

"That's all you gotta say, baby." He said, pushing his lips against mine.

I felt ecstasy rush through me as his lips gently pushed against mine, they felt so smooth and wet against my lips, making warmth rush through me as he dropped his hands to my waist and pulled me closer to him. I moaned at his touch as he dropped his head a little lower to make it easier for me, I moved my hands to his shoulders and rubbed the muscles there as he slowly rubbed my lower back, making me shiver against him as the electricity flowing through me didn't want to end. I paused and moaned as he moved his lips along my jawline, pecking path toward my neck as he pushed me up against the wall and lifted my legs to his waist. I stared at him as he pulled back and stared down at me, his hazel eyes burned with lust and I couldn't help but return the emotion as I rubbed my hands along his pecs. The feeling of the rock-hard muscles below my fingers excited me, I wanted to curl up with him and sleep the day away but I had to watch Jaden at the moment, I had to watch him until Auntie Jackie returned. I pulled away as I looked around for Jaden, he was no where in sight and I frowned as I pushed at Kasmin's chest in a indication that I wanted him to put me down. He proceeded to lower me but keep me pinned to the wall as he tried to bury his head in my neck, I allowed him and my eyes rolled in the back of my head as he nibbled in various spots, making me arch my back as I felt a little tingling in my wetness. 

"Kasmin..." I moaned, burying my nails into his biceps and he grunted at the small pain. "S-Sorry..." I gasped, feeling my nipples harden as he put his hands on my butt and squeezed.

"

AUNTIE

!" I jumped from Jaden's loud scream of excitement and quickly pushed Kasmin away while hurrying to fix my hair and clothes.

"Jaden, hey big boy, where's your sister?" Auntie Jackie asked from the living room, I quickly pushed a couple of strands of hair out of my face before looking at Kasmin, who wiped his lips and chin so sexually.

His tongue flicked over his lips and I fought the urge to kiss him once more but the reminder of Auntie Jackie in the living room sent me quickly walking that way, she stood in the living room with her hands filled. She wore a business suit and grocery bags in her hand, I smiled kindly at her as I moved forward, she spotted me and her smile widened as she gently pecked my cheek before passing me the bags.

"Hey, Auntie, how's Mama?" I asked, glancing back to where Kasmin was in Jaden's room.

"A bitch as usual." Auntie Jackie replied, making me smile a little. "The woman just can't get herself right, her dumbass is in jail and facing prostitution charges, go figure."

"No way." I said, but truth be told, I wasn't surprised.

"Yea, so... just us three." Auntie Jackie said. "But only for the next four days, I'm heading out to Atlanta this week, remember."

"Yeah..." This time, I wasn't too down about her leaving, I had Kasmin here to keep me company now... 
if he was actually planning on being my boyfriend.
 

Auntie Jackie surveyed the living room, I quickly did a once-over myself and noticed the three empty plates on the counter before internally cursing myself for not cleaning up, Jackie turned to look at them before raising an eyebrow. She looked at me accusingly and I dropped my eyes as the stare became intense, she crossed her arms over her chest and rose her head while looking at me patiently, waiting for me to spill.

"Auntie..." I said, taking a deep breath as I glanced in the direction of Jaden's bedroom again. "I have... company." 

"While no one is here but you and Jaden? What have I warned you about this?" Auntie Jackie asked, shaking her head in disappointment.

"I'm sorry, he staye-"

"
He
!" Auntie Jackie said, her lips pursing as she shook her head with a disbelieving chuckle. "Honey..."

"Yeah, my... 
boyfriend
?" I said while it came out more like a question, hoping she'd at least calm down a little.

"Were you two having sex?" Auntie Jackie asked bluntly, what the hell Auntie Jackie!

"W-What!? No! Auntie, you know that's not me!" I said, now feeling a little offended as she slowly nodded but her tense shoulders settled a little. "Yet..." I added on in a whisper.

"Yeah, who is he? Where is he?" Auntie asked, walking to the couch and taking a seat.

"I told you about him already, Kasmin..." 

"Oh no, 
hell
 no." Auntie Jackie said, looking at me sternly with her hands on her hips.

"What?" I asked, staring at her in confusion.

"The one you cried about because he was getting some head from another girl, hell no, Honey. Break up with him now."

"Auntie!" I huffed, knowing he could hear her.

However, I was a little happy she remembered the pain I had told her about and I had hoped that Kasmin did hear how he hurt me with everything he was doing, the videos, the constant girls he was fucking, and the way he treated me whenever he was around his friends. I wanted him to remember how much those things hurt me, just so he'd remember to never do it again to not hurt me. 

"What? I'm only looking out for you, and isn't he some druggie or something?" Auntie Jackie asked.

"Auntie, stop. And, no, he's not. He's so cute and-"

"Looks don't mean anything when he'll only break your heart." Auntie reasoned, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at me with an expression that dared me to rebuttal her decision.

"I really think he's changed." I whispered, knowing she was fed up with arguing but I wasn't. 

"Actions speak louder than words, you'll come to see that when he's getting head from another girl while telling you he loves you at the same time, right to your face. Now, I don't want to hear anymore about this guy, Honey. I'm going to head home, you wanna come, Jaden?" She asked, smiling down at him as I stared a the ground in defeat. "I know it's hurts now Honey, but in time, you'll realize that you're not meant for certain people, no matter how cute, funny, or smart they are. I've tried to raise you to be an independent woman so you won't have to rely on a man, and you'll never have to worry about what he's doing in the shadows. That boy is no good, those videos you were crying over should tell you that." With that, Auntie Jackie turned and walked Jaden out the room. 

Nothing good ever last forever, I'm starting to believe. 

No Music

Word Count: 3199

# Chapter Nine

"You good?" I jumped and quickly nodded as I wiped a few tears before sniffling and clearing my throat. 

"Y-Yeah." I whispered. "You must of heard." I continued.

"Yeah." He said, almost sounding unbothered. "It's cool, I ain't trippin' over it." 

"Well I am." I said, whipping around to stare at him as he carelessly shrugged. "Kasmin!"

"What? Maybe ya Auntie or cousin, whatever the fuck she is to you... maybe she's right. And she got a fat ass too." Kasmin said, staring straight at me as I stared at him in disblief. "I wouldn't mind fucking the shit out of-"

All these time, I thought I had gotten him. He was suppose to be mine! He is mine! What are you doing to me Kasmin, why are you trying to hurt me purposely? Don't you love me, Kasmin! Kasmin! 
KASM-

"Get out!" I yelled, walking to the door as tears welled up in my eyes.

"Shit, I'll just follow her." He moved closer to the door and I pushed him in the shoulder roughly, though he didn't budge. "Chill out, man. You buggin'."

"Fuck you, Kasmin! That's why you'll always be alone! That's why no one will ever love you, becuase you don't know when you have the right thing in front of you!" I sobbed, pushing him again and he only stared at me with a rose eyebrow, only succeeding in making me angerier. "Fuck you!"

"No, fuck you! Get the fuck off of me!" He shoved me aside and I could only glare at him.

"You're an asshole, Kasmin!" I said, pulling the door open and waiting for him to leave.

"Say another thing about me, Honey, and I swear to Go-"

"What? You're going to whoop me? Fuck you, Kasmin. Go back to the only life you have, because obviously you don't want to be happy with anyone else." I walked behind him and pushed him toward the door.

"I fucking told you-" He stopped and turned around to me, roughly grabbing my biceps and shoving me back toward the couch.

I fell back and he followed, holding me down as I kicked and screamed at him, trying to wiggle my way out of his grasp as he easily pinned me, his left hand braced against my neck and he held tightly as he glared down at me. I punched at him weakly, scared that if I pushed him too far, he'd actually hurt me but I didn't see Kasmin that way, he was just very upset about the things my Auntie said about him.

"You're pushing it, Honey, I'm about to fuck your stupid ass up!" He growled angrily.

"Let me go!" I yelled, glaring at him as he glared back at me. "Get the fuck off me, Kasmin! Fuck you!" 

"Fuck you!" He retorted, putting his masculine weight on me while keeping his hand around my throat.

"Let me go! Get off of me! Now!" I yelled, angry tears rushing down my face as I punched at his chest even more, hoping he'd soon let me go so I could get him out of here.

"You're trippin', I ain't got time for this shit." Kasmin said, pulling away from me but I wrapped my legs around his waist to keep him secure. 

I then wrapped my arms around his neck and held tightly as I felt his stud earring digging into my cheek, his hair smelled so lovingly and his cologne lingered, making me melt inside as I held tightly to him. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hold on or let go, I didn't want to give him up because I had just gotten ahold of him but I also knew he was no good for me. I needed a man that would give me all his attention, treat me like the Queen I was, and never look at another woman as a fuck toy and he broke all those rules that I sat as my standards. I believed in Love, I believed that anything was possible and that's probably what kept me hoping that maybe one day Kasmin would notice me and see me for who I am, instead of what the others want me to be. I had always hoped he'd see the love I had, the chemistry that we could build one day, and the hope I could give him by just being by his side. I believed Love to be a treasure only found for the real, no games, no absences, no pain, and that Love would be irristable in the right hearts. Maybe that's the problem, maybe I was too kind to find love, maybe I wasn't cold enough to tell the wrong guys off and too niave to notice the good guys standing right before me. Kasmin was good, he just rarely showed his good side but I knew it was there, even when no one belived he had one. 

"Let me go, Honey." He said, his tone deadly.

"No." I sobbed, clutching to him tightly.

"Honey, I'm not playing with you, let me go." 

"Kasmin, pleas-"

"Let me the fuck go." He grabbed my arms and wrenched them away as I tearfully whimpered at the roughness.

I dropped my legs from around his waist and laid there, he held my hands pinned above my head while still between my now spread legs, I stared up at him as he stared at me, tears slowly streaming down my face as I decided to take my last chance.

"Don't you see," I whispered, sniffling, "I don't want you to go because I know you're a good guy deep down, y-your just afraid."

"Afraid of what?" He asked in an almost mocking tone, a laughing smirk on his face. "I ain't afraid of shit."

"Of love." I whispered, watching the smirk on his face slowly dissipate as he stared at me. 

"You don't know what the fuck I've been through." Kasmin said, glaring down at me. "Don't sit here and act like you know me, you don't know shit about me."

He pulled away and I allowed him to, watching as he turned and headed for the door, but I had a new plan settling in my head, I wasn't going to allow him to leave my side so easily, I refused to let him go that fast. The sound of the screen door closing caught my attention as I looked up wtih a blurry vision, I was hurt, I was sad, I was in disbelief, I sniffed and reached up to wipe my face clean before taking a deep breath and rushing to the back to chance clothes. I went through my top drawer and pulled out a summer knitted sweater, it was solid black with small holes between the knitting and a cowl-off-the-shoulders neckline. I tossed it on my bed and turned to open a different drawer, I grabbed a ruffled black mini skirt and a pair of my favorite, pink lacy panties that I hid in the same drawer as my bottoms for a reason, so Mom couldn't get her hands on them.The panties had a tiny bow in the front and was made with silky smooth fabric that made my kitten look nice and chubby, a little chubbier than it already was, I tossed the panties and skirt on the bed and hurried to the bathroom to ready myself. I turned the shower on and stepped in quickly, feeling the heat relax my tense muscles as I leaned against the bathroom. 

Kasmin, I'm sorry....

I didn't mean....

I know I came on strong....

You should be apologizing to me....

It's not easy...
 

I'm so done for, at the most, he'll at least hear me out and not make me look like a fool when I got to the trap to see him. 

What if he told Darrion and the others to not let me in? Will they if I bribe them? I don't have shit to bribe them anyway... holy fuck, what if ASIAH answer the door? Maybe wearing this isn't a good idea, she'll probably try to fight me and my skirt will go up in front of everyone and they'll see my butt! Kasmin wouldn't let her fight me... would he? He wasn't at first but he hates me right now... what if he's not even there!? 

I sighed as I grabbed a clean, disposable razor and thoroughly shaved under my underpits before moving lower and shaving my wetness clean of hair, I worked cautiously, not wanting to cut myself and I didn't regret any minute of my decision as I cleaned the hairs and watched them rush down the faucet, and with the pubic hair went my innocence. I knew exactly what I wanted and that was him, no matter what my Auntie said, I wanted him to be mine. No matter what blowjob videos, the girls he fucked: Asiah, Bianca, my Mom's friend, fuck all of them, I just wanted my Kasmin back. Yesterday, he showed me his good side and I was amazed, and now I craved to have his good and bad side because it was what I loved about him, he was so handsome and a man that could put his needs aside and help was to die for. I rinsed off once more before shutting the water off and stepping out carefully, I wiped myself dry with a large, body towel and shook my head to loosen my hair. I styled it in crinkle curls slowly, not sure what time it was but I knew today was going to be the make it or break it moment for Kasmin and I. I knew that if I didn't get him today, I could kiss my fantasies and future family with him goodbye for good because he'd never want to be around me ever again, even now, I was giving him too much space to think and I had to change that.

I walked to my room, taking deep breaths as I thought of how everything was going to go, he was going to push me away or pull me in and I was hoping he'd reel me in for good and see what I could be to him. I knew for sure that I could take the Kasmin from the streets, and I most definitely didn't want to take the streets out of him because I loved that part of him like I loved every other part of him. I dressed slowly, pulling on the matching bra to my lacey pink panties and a tank top then sliding on my knitted sweater. I applied lotion to my legs and shoulders, also applying to my neck, the skin on my crotch, and feet before sliding on my short skirt, it stopped mid-thigh and I posed in the mirror for a moment while sizing myself up, damn, I look pretty yummy if I have to say so myself. I put my hands on my hips and took a deep breath while scanning my outfit once more.

"Kasmin, you're going to hear me out... terrible." I sighed, shaking my head before allowing my posture to drop.

I pulled myself back up to the same posture, putting my hands on my hips and glaring at my figure. 

"Kasmin, I know you don't want to talk to me, but I need to tell you I'm sorry and I want to make it up to you, dinner and a movie maybe?" I sighed.

I can't believe I'm doing this, I'm going to the terrible side of town where Auntie Jackie always banned me from going, worse, I'm going to a 
trap house
.
 I grabbed my small, crossbody purse and slid it on before fluffing my hair once more then heading to the living room to leave, I stopped and slid on my favorite, black suede wedges without a worry because I knew the walk wasn't that far. I slipped out and closed the door behind me, glancing around to see it was mostly clear, thank God becuase if Mrs. Willis heard any of that, I knew I'd never hear the end of me bringing a guy home. I took a deep breath as I walked, my arms crossed over my breast as I felt like everyone was staring at me, I walked with speed and one destination in mind, to get my man back. I reached the street and almost felt like I blinded in with the day prostitutes that had the balls to work at this time of the morning, I gulped as one eyed me with suspicion before picking up the pace to get away. I spotted the trap-house with the correct symbol before looking for Kasmin's hummer amongst the rather populated area. Cars were parked everywhere and I was sure it was another party going on but there were also prostutites out that told me they probably were trying to get in and get ahold of some money while at the party. I took a deep breath and stepped on the grass before walking around the back slowly, it was mostly dead outside and I looked at the fence to see far corner to see an black American Pit Bull Terrier standing by the gate while panting heavily. It's water bowl was sitting rather close to the gate and I felt a little sad for it as the bowl sat knocked at an angle with no water inside it. I walked to the door as it sensed me, it released a loud huff and I glanced at it before walking toward the door as it watched me while heavily panting for water. 
Breathe. Breathe, you got this. You can do this, Honey.
 I gulped and licked my lips, tasting the Cherry flavored lipgloss, I pulled my skirt down a little before sighing and rapping on the door four times loudly. I glanced behind me at the Pit Bull before turning around as the door opened and there stood Kasmin, look as fine as ever. He wore a pair of sagging pants, his hair was a little messed up but it still looked ever so sexy as he stood shirtless at the door, he stared at me before his eyebrows lowered in curiosity. A high-pitched scream rung out the door as he glanced back with a smirk on his face before it fell as he turned toward and rose an eyebrow.

"The fuck you doing here?" He asked in a not-so-friendly tone.

"I need to talk to you." I said, trying to peek in but he moved so I couldn't. "Please."

"The only way in is if someone's fucking you." He said so smoothly, almost as saying he could ride a bike.

My mouth fell agape as I stared at him before dropping my eyes down to the ground and slowly nodding. 
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be; if it's not, then I'm fucked... literally.
 I huffed and looked up at him before nodding again, telling him that I'd let him do so, as long as we got to talk afterward.

"If you talk to me afterward, then okay." I said, lowering my eyes to the ground as I remembered all the times he showed his size to the world. 

He stared at me for a moment, sizing me up and down before slowly moving aside and allowing me to enter, I entered slowly, glancing around as everyone turned to look my way before going back to what they were doing. I glanced into the living room to see Asiah on the couch with Gee-Gee beside her, and lastly Shay beside Gee-Gee, all three were on their backs with someone between their legs as they laid side by side on the worn couch. I stared on for a second as Gee-Gee was enjoying herself by Shay didn't appear to be, she seemed distant with a large frown on her face, I took a deep breath and looked over at Kasmin as he walked up beside me and put his arm around my waist. I didn't say a word and he didn't either as he lead me into the kitchen, which was only being used by one couple, who consisted of a guy and low and behold, my Mom. I recognized the guy to be Darrion, he had my mom pinned against the counter with her naked legs wrapped around his waist and his hips hurryingly pounding back and forth as the two stayed entwined. Watching from a far, Bianca was standing naked and patiently waiting for her turn, I glanced at her as she smiled at Kasmin before it fell as she noticed him holding me close to him. She stared at me with a look of hatred and almost what I would say to be jealousy, I ignored her glare as Kasmin turned me around so my back was facing him and my front was facing the table. 

"Oh, fuck!" Darrion yelled, causing me to jump as he stopped rocking his hips and took a deep breath. 

I gulped as he allowed my Mom to slid off his body and to the ground as she sighed and leaned against the counter without realizing who I was just yet, I felt Kasmin's hand rest on my hips and he gripped them gently, causing a moan to spark out of me. One of his hands pressed on my back with a little force, pushing me forward onto the table I was facing with my busty boobs and stomach squished against it. His hands went to my skirt and I felt his knuckles digging into my sides as he grabbed the elastic waistband of my skirt and forcefully ripped it halfway down my legs before pausing. I flinched from him doing so, and when he paused, I glanced back to see what he was doing. Needless to say, he was admiring my pantied butt with one of his hands gripping his thick pipe, the outline of it in his sweatpants scared me as I took a deep breath to calm myself. 

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this...

 I repeated, taking another heavy gulp as the radio in the kitchen changed and a too familiar song came over the speakers.

"... This is for my playas in the hood, up to no good, lets kick it like we really should. It's just an ordinary day...*"

I stared forward, seeing the cabinets from a different level as I heard the sound of Kasmin's pants dropping behind me, my bottom lip quivered and my hands shook as I kept them braced against the table. I bit down on my lip and closed my eyes as I mentally prepared myself, I wasn't planning on losing such a valuable piece of me but I knew that after this, there was no going back. I felt his fingers trail along my second lips, sending a shiver through me as my breath hitched and my legs tensed up, his fingers moved away and I felt something between sticky and gooey rub against my lips before pressure was added. I gasped as something solid pushed against my lips, trying to find it's way inside and it seemed unsuccessful until Kasmin kicked my wedges apart and the thing slipped in swiftly. I gasped as friction quickly followed, including pain and the realization that he had popped my cherry and with my cherry went my purity. 

"... It's good to reminisce on the old days, when we use to kick it with the G's and the homies. I would go back, yo if I could, this is for my peoples that still roll around in the hood(Yeah)..."

*In The Hood(Playas Version) Donell Jones

Word Count: 3309

# Chapter Ten

"... Somethin' goin' on, I feel funny. Can't tell me nuttin' different, my nose twitchin'. Intuition settin' in like steel vision, I still close my eyes, I still see visions...*"

I groaned as I rolled over, feeling a warm body beside me as I wore nothing but a large shirt, I gulped as I slowly set up, ignoring the feeling of pain rushing through my lower half. I looked beside me to see Kasmin laying there and what confused me was the black handgun on the nightstand, I sighed as I glanced around the bedroom to see it was the same one I was in before. I assumed it was his bedroom and we had shared the bed last night, I couldn't remember much about what happened after he entered me the first time but I knew he couldn't keep his hands off my body.

" ... You niggas actin' like you will, But I know you won't, you won't. I read between tha lines of ya eyes to ya brows. Ya handshake ain't matchin' ya smile, you niggas foul..."

A large, warm hand snaked up my thigh and rested on my lower stomach before rubbing small circles, I smiled down at Kasmin as his hand gently eased the cramps away, it's as if there's a baby in there. I put my hand over his and yawned tiredly before laying into his side as he put his arm protectively over my body, I loud growl made me giggle as I smiled up at him and gently pecked his nose. 
Did I mention we made up?
 Kasmin grinned and moved to kiss my lips as his hand rested on my lower abdomen, continuing to caress away the cramps, the good side of him was showing and I loved it but I loved his bad side even more. 

"You hungry?" I asked him, smirking as I looked at him.

"Yeah, what we gonna eat?" He asked in a groggy tone, making me reaching up and brush my fingertips along his throat. 

"... I can feel it in the air, I can feel it in the air. I can feel it in the air. I can hear it in your voice, I can feel it in the air..."

"Burger King?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Naw, McDonalds." He said, making me frown in disgust. 

"Ew, Burger King." I said, sitting up slowly as his hand started to rub very-wanted circles on my stomach again. 

"Fuck Burger King!" Kasmin yelled, making me laugh as I shook my head.

"No! Fuck greasy-ass McDonalds!" I retorted, playfully rolling on top of him as he put his hands on my thighs and gently rubbed them.

"McDonalds don't be that greasy." He said, knowing he was lying.

"Whatever, how about who's paying?" I said, secretly declaring myself as the winner.

"...Read they body language: 85 percent communication non-verbal, 85 percent swear they know you, 10 percent you know they stories. Man, tha other 5 time to show you, just know you..."

"I got you." Kasmin said, pulling me close and gently pecking my lips as I smiled at him.

"No, I got it." I said, slowly pulling myself off of him. 

"
Ha
, no, I got you." He pulled himself off the bed and walked to his pants in the nude. 

"... As for me, I'm still circlin' tha block before I'm parkin'. Not bitchin', I'm just still cautious. Same black parka, same Uzi, extra clips, still clappin' wit that same larkin'..."

Noticing them laying on the floor, I now remembered that he had shredded them while his hard cock bobbed in the air from all of his hasting movement, I had decided to help him when his foot got caught and he almost hit the floor. To see Kasmin so caught up in the moment, it made me realize that he wasn't as perfect as he seemed but he was perfect enough for me, more than perfect for me actually. I climbed off the bed as well and walked up behind him as he fiddled through his pockets, he grabbed his keys and held them in one hand while surfing for his wallet with the other hand.

"I wanna drive your truck." I pleaded, cutely pouting at him purposely. "Can I, pwease?" 

"Mmmm, Ion know if you can handle all that power, baby." He said, a smirk on his face.

"What you trying to say?" I laughed, lightly punching his chest as he pulled me close and his smirk widened. "I can handle you."

"...Damn, I feel it in tha air, you not sincere. Nigga it ain't an us, or we, or I'ma thing, it's a good bad karma thing, this a song man. I'ma say, I swear I feel somethin' honestly..."

"Yeah, barely." He chuckled, making me playfully roll my eyes and push him away. "You was screamin' and cryin' and shit."

"No I wasn't!" I laughed, not sure if he was telling the truth or not because I couldn't remember. "Can I drive your truck and we'll see?" 

"Ion know... I want a little somethin'." Kasmin said, reaching down and gripping onto my butt cheek.

"How about, when I get back, you get some." I promised, rubbing his biceps. "I really wanna try out your truck, baby, just drive to get our food and come straight back."

"Ight... fine." Kasmin said, making me grin really big as I put my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Damn, the fuck you doin' to me?" He asked himself more than he asked me. 

"... I can feel it in the air, I can feel it in the air. I can feel it in the air, I can hear it in your voice..."

 

"Loving you." I replied, smiling as I turned away to pull on some bottoms he had thrown around the room.

"First you got me rubbing on yo' belly after some bomb-ass sex and me poppin' that cherry, then you got me arguing with yo' sexy ass, next you got my ass over here grinnin' and shit, and now you about to drive my whip. Fuck, you got me sexy." Kasmin said, shaking his head as he watched me pull on a pair of basketball shorts that fell to my knees. "And now you wearing my shit, damn."

"You love me." I knowing that I wouldn't push him away by saying so.

"Yeah, I do love yo' goofy self." He pecked my forehead before walking back to his bed and taking a seat. "Throw me some boxers and here, get me a Chicken Wrap, Large Sprite, and a Oreo McFlurry."

I grabbed him a pair of boxers off what seemed to be clean stack and walked them to him as he passed me a solid fifty, making me lean down and gently peck his lips as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me a little longer.

"See you when you get back baby." Kasmin said, making me smile even bigger, he was hooked.

My kitten must be bomb to have him calling me baby and talk to me like we're dating, 
wait... we are dating! Haha! Yeah! I got my baby! I got my baby! I got my baby! I got m-

"Babe? You good?" Kasmin asked, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. 

"Yeah, I'm just happy I got you." I said, pecking his lips once more before pulling away. "Let me hurry and get out food, you better be waiting."

"Oh, I will be. Bet that." He said, making me laugh as I nodded before leaning down and pecking his lips again. "Rock hard too, so you better be ready."

"Oh, I will be." I said playfully, giving him fake attitude by rolling my neck. 

"...I can feel it in the air, I can feel it in the air. I can feel it in the air, I can hear it in your voice(Hear it in your voice, ya voice, oh)..."

With that said, I slipped out of the room with the smell of sex lingering in the air, nice, hot, steamy sex that I couldn't forget how great it felt. I might not had remembered what happened detail for detail but I did remember the amazing feeling of Kasmin's fat cock sliding in and out of me to no end. I had done it, I had gotten what I always wanted and more. Satisfied, I bounded down the stairs to stumble among the few people left after their little fuck fest, Gee-Gee was sprawled on the floor with a bottle of Hennessy laying beside her head, her snores echoed off the walls in the sound of growls as I stepped over her. Asiah was no where in sight but the constant squeaking of a bed mattress in another room gave me the assumption she had went in there after not getting enough. Bianca was sitting back on the couch in a slumped position, nursing a blunt as her legs sat on some guy's shoulders as he ate her wetness, she seemed rather bored as the guy tried with all his might to pleasure her, or at least get a reaction. I shook my head, noticing a guy standing by the backdoor with Shay on her knees in front of him, her hand was positioned at the base of his length as she slurped hungrily on the head of it. Darrion groaned as he gripped her head and pulled her farther down, gagging her and I felt a little sick to the stomach as her throat protested while he didn't slow. 

I passed them gratefully, pushing my way out as I spotted the Pit Bull laying by the fence, the sun beamed brightly and today felt so beautiful, or maybe it was me that felt so beautiful... and gaped. I sighed, making my way around the house and spotting Kasmin's hummer parked on the side, I walked up to it and unlocked the doors before climbing in. I put the key in the ignition and turned the truck on, the roar of it coming to life satisfied me as I put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb, driving very cautiously as I came to a stop and spotted a car slowly cruising by. I frowned as I waited for it to slowly crept pass, I rose an eyebrow as the car pulled to a stop and the passenger side and backseat passenger side darkly tinted windows slowly rolled down. My eyes widened as the barrel of a gun came out of them both and released fire, I immediately ducked my head low, screaming as I felt something sizzle into my leg before a burning hot pain settled in my stomach. I gagged as I sunk lower in the passenger seat and tears rushed to my eyes, the gunshots continued as I released the brake and the car rolled forward. I closed my eyes and prayed to the man above that I made it through this as darkness faded in soon after.

"

I can feel it in the air, I can feel it in the air(I can feel it)..."

*Feel It In The Air Beanie Sigel

                                                           

           ...TO BE CONTINUED...

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