Chapter 1

Somethings are meant not to be followed….

Cole’s POV

“Sir you have to pay for what you ate” The waitress reminded the guy in her calm tone after catching up with him,the guy nodded though he didn’t make move to pay. He then looked at the door as if waiting for something or someone, the waitress too followed his gaze and after a couple of minutes of the both of them staring at the door, the man looked back at the waitress and smiled politely.

“She will pay” The guy says pointing at the woman wearing a long red dress walked in with a small purse looking fancy. she looks exactly like the guy but her features are feminine making her beautiful.

The woman who has just entered smiled opening her bag without a word and started searching it and for a small purse things hide in there depending on how she is searching that tiny bag like she is searching for a pin. After a while she then glanced at the guy and the look seemed like they were communicating through the eyes, she breathed hard before pulling off her ring from her middle finger handing it to the waitress who held it with clear confusion on her face “I don’t have any money with me but that ring is really expensive and it can compensate for what he ate” Her voice was so melodic that you can feel sorry for her and let her go away without paying.

“Am sorry but you will have to talk to the manager” the waitress said while turning her head around, I guess to look for the manager. The guy snatched the ring from her fingers, put it on his middle finger before walking away with the woman hand in hand. I don’t know what was going on but the waitress didn’t yell, I guess she was in shock of what has happened but the guys walked out so freely that even the security guards on the door didn’t stop them, matter of fact no one in the restaurant stood up to say something they were all in one place looking stuck and the video ended just like that with me so confused wondering what has happened.

“This happened last night but….” My boss Dylan the chief of police sighed “The CC’s are taking over the investigation” he pulled the flash out putting it in the box that will be sent to the CC’s later depending on the label on the box saying CC’s. I can’t believe they are taking us off of this case too.

“Sir, you saw what happened “ I said getting up, I need to take this case now more than anything “They always take cases that are hard to explain but we were the first on sight, tell me why we are allowing them to take us off of the case we need this” I argued, if we have this video it means we were the first ones on the scene if the CC’s were the first ones there, everything and I mean Everything would have disappeared without a trace.

“Cole you have just known about this case 5 minutes ago, stop acting as if they are taking a case that you have been working on for years plus they are clearly higher than us and you should suck it up and accept it” he replied closing the box as I internally scoffed, I am not going to get off of this case and I am definitely never accepting the CC’s “And don’t do something I wouldn’t do” with that Dylan walked out and I scoffed out loud this time.

If he didn’t want me involved he should have not informed me about this case since I didn’t know about it until five minutes ago. Now I will do something he wouldn’t do because I hate, no, loathe when the CC’s try to take cases from us, the weird part is that I didn’t even know about the CC’s existence until two months ago when they appeared out of nowhere and started taking our cases, the first case they took was of a young woman who was ripped apart with what seemed to be an animal.

I was the first one on the scene, it didn’t take time immediately after I called for back up, the CC’s showed up taking me off of the case and if I saw in seconds I mean in milliseconds.

The way they dress, the power they had was visible by the way they held themselves. I tried arguing as the good detective I am who wanted to solve that case and give the lady some justice but I was never listened too, infact they acted as if I was invisible yet it was my case. I was so persistent until Dylan called and told me to get off of the case, I kept quiet and gave up thinking if they are high ups maybe they will get some justice for the lady but no, the case disappeared in thin air, since then all the cases that the CC’s take all disappear because that is what they do and every case they take has to have something weird about it, whether the death is weird or something, all the cases have to be weird and the only cases we work on are robbers and other silly pett crimes as they take the big ones, we are treated like kids in school who are still learning about the job we have spent years doing.

I am a detective and I am not going to sit on my desk and do nothing while those idiots make all the cases disappear. I picked up my coat and badge before leaving my boss’s office “Where do you think you’re going?” My partner Bryan asked as soon as I walked out of the office

“Am not allowing those idiots to take this case away” I said continuing my walk out of the station while Bryan followed “This case is going to disappear just like they always do and I am not standing for it”

“Dylan told me to stop you from doing something stupid that is why I was waiting for you outside his office”

“If he didn’t want me to get involved in this case then why would he show it to me when I didn’t know about it” I asked reaching my car with my partner behind “Am not allowing this to happen everything that happened was all odd and I need to know what is going on and where the hell did the CC’s come from in the first place”

“Or is it because of your hate for-”

“Finish that statement and I promise I will cut you into pieces” I threatened cutting Bryan off before he could even finish what he was about to say because that will make me angry before getting to know what happened to the case, the truth is I don’t understand what this case is about but I am willing to try and find out, this isn’t about that bastard that I hate it is about uncovering the entire CC’s “Are you coming with me or not”

“Let’s go” Bryan said walking to the passenger side “You know when officer’s hear the words ‘Your off the case’ they feel so happy me included but with you it always sounds like ‘pursue this case’ are you really normal”

“What is fun about a normal partner” I fired back and he chuckled nodding his head yes while I drove the rest of our journey to the restaurant in silence. I parked my car when we reached the restaurant which is working like normal days, we both walked out of the car and into the restaurant, we showed our badges telling them we are here for the robbery that happened last night. The security guard directed us to the waitress in the video, the one who served the guy “Hi can we have a word” I asked showing my badge to her, she nodded taking us behind the restaurant and away from people.

“Am guessing you’re here to ask about what happened yesterday” the woman asked folding her hands over her chest.

“If you don’t mind, can you elaborate exactly what happened” I asked pulling out my note book and pen “Starting with your name please”

“Am Tracy” she started “My co-worker called me and said that a man specifically asked for me to serve him, it happens all the time so I walked there served him, everything was fine until he asked for the bill. I walked out to get him his bill after he was done eating only to find him walking out, I caught up to him reminding him that he had to pay for his meal, then he said that she was going to pay, that was when the classy woman entered handing me the ring  I held the ring and….” Tracy held her forehead with her hands shaking a little “I know no one will believe me but it happened”

“What happened?” Bryan asked with interest in his voice.

“That ring entered my hand like inside but it didn’t hurt, when I looked back to tell someone to call the manager for me the ring was yanked from my hand like I was holding it but I wasn’t, it was not in my hands it was inside my flesh even though it didn’t hurt, you will call me crazy but it happened”

“You said he asked for you specifically” I asked and Tracy nodded “Did he flirt with you to something” Tracy shook her head no again, why did the guy ask for her if he wasn’t interested in courting her “Did he need something from you or why he asked specifically for you” she shook her head no again, then why did he ask for her “Can you tell me something about the woman that handed you the ring” I asked changing from the previous topic, maybe she got something from the woman that could lead us somewhere.

“There was nothing weird about her, she was very polite for a high class woman. Though I wonder if she was faking being rich, the dress she was wearing, the heels were all expensive for her to tell me she had no money or a card on her was a blow to the face, why try to look that rich if you aren’t” All I have gathered in this case is that there is nothing new or CC’s worthy. It looks like he ate and didn’t pay for his food but why would the CC’s want the case, it should be ours since that is all we do ‘work on robbers’ “I have to get back to work” Tracy said and I nodded, stepping away from her so she can get back to her job.

Me and Bryan walked back to my car with me in my head contemplating why, the CC’s want this case plus I don’t understand why Tracy would say she had the ring in her flesh yet on video I didn’t see her freak  out or flinch or anything unless I missed it of course.

If someone saw or felt something inside of them they would freak out ‘At least that is what I would do’ but she was just confused when she was handed the ring, I am not one to judge about things like that because I have also had my share of weird in my life and I will definitely give her the benefit of a doubt about the ring thing “That was a dead end where are you going to start from now” Bryan asked on our way back to the station.

“Steal the flash again and see if there is a part that I missed”

“For the first time I thought you were going to say ‘Oh I give up’” Bryan sighed leaning back in his chair.

“But I guess I never disappoint” we both laughed with Bryan shaking his head no before turning his head to me.

“One of these days you will know things you shouldn’t know”

Author’s note

Thank you guys for trying this book out on my new account. Tell me your thoughts on this first chapter and if you enjoyed please vote plus if anyone missed the warning this book is going to have sexual content among two men, so it is going to be gay,

i

f your not into that please with all kindness don’t read just look for something that will be for you.

Anyway to those willing to try my book out thank you so much and I hope you enjoy

Love you all 🌈🌈💕💕

Chapter 2

Hate is such a strong word…

“Cole why do you always want to get in trouble” Brody complained as I approached him for a favor and not just any favor, I want him to help me steal the flash from the evidence box that has to be sent to the CC’s any minute from now. He shouldn’t be surprised though, I have asked him for these kind of favors before, what is new this time.

“All you have to say is you were out when I took it and there won’t be any problem like always” I convinced trying to show Brody that he won’t get in trouble for any of this.

“They have saved us from that useless case but all you want is to take the case” Brody asked and I shrugged, they see it as useless I see it as important an opportunity matter of fact “Sometimes I just don’t get you Cole. Most of us became happy when the CC’s came to help us out but you, you argue like no other yet we should be happy about it” I showed him a face that said nope, I am not happy about it and I need to get into the room. These guys aren’t thinking of the fact that the police might be closed because we are dormant I am helping us all yet they don’t see it “I can never understand you but whatever just make it quick” I patted his back before walking into the room and looking for the box with CC’s on it. It was not hard to find, I opened it up taking the flash out before getting out of the evidence room “did you finish watching it?”

“I will watch it on my desk and if they come for that box don’t tell them I took it” I walked away with Brody complaining about me taking the flash, I ignored him walking back to my desk. I turned on my computer as I put the flash, I observed the video for the second time and as the first time I didn’t see the waitress flinch or anything. I watched it like five times waiting for that flinch but it still didn’t happen no matter how much I replayed it ‘i guess she lied’  I sighed falling back in my chair giving up.

I took the pictures of the robbers while tapping my pen on the desk as I wondered where I will have to begin from if the video isn’t showing anything. The case is not that serious, it looks like a robbery where the man ate and didn’t pay, that is not why I am so stuck up on this case ‘Why do the CC’s want this case?’ the CC’s to want a simple robbery, they usually go for homicides. That is why it is making my head spin and why would the woman give the waitress the ring only for the man to take it away just like that then walking away like nothing happened.

I pulled out the flash walking to the technician so that he can take a look at it “Hey William” I called entering his office “I need you to get the ID of the guy and the woman on this video” he took it from my hands saying ’on it’s he typed his staff as I got myself comfortable waiting for William to finish getting the identity of the robbers. After a few minutes William cursed out loud “What happened?” I asked watching William stare at his computer in anger while typing so fast green words or numbers running across the screen so fast.

“Bullshit” he yelled when the computer went black “What the hell did you give me to search” he asked as he pressed delete over and over with nothing changing on the screen.

“It is just a case am working on” my answer is vague but it will do “Tell me what happened?”

“I was blocked out of my computer the moment I put a search on their faces, they sent a virus” he said pulling the computer out throwing it on the ground breaking it in pieces, I pulled the flash out before it can get destroyed too by the suddenly angry William “Don’t bother putting that flash in any computer it will just go black”

I nodded thanking him for his help before walking out of his office. I sat back on my desk while looking at the flash in my hands, I know who was able to cut me out from this search for the identity of the two whatever the CC’s are hiding must be big if they are hiding the identities of the robbers, now I want to know what is going on, this all shows that this is not just a simple robbery but something big and the CC’s are trying to hide it.

I spent the entire evening trying to figure out what this case has, what clue am I missing. Who are those two and why are they being protected by the CC’s, I have alot of questions but so little answers. The rest of the day went on by like that, Bryan trying to help me piece the pieces together but we ended nowhere I bid goodbye to Bryan when it was time to get back home, I sat in my car with thoughts of what this case has that I can’t put my fingers on. What are the CC’s planning, why love a robbery case, are they out of cases that they want this one or they have something to do with it or what Tracy said was true ’i can’t believe I am putting that into consideration, this is helpless….

A black car stopped in front of me cutting me off to my journey home and just by looking at the car I knew instantly who it is.

No one I know or will block my path like this that drives a car that expensive except one person… A big guy got out of the passenger seat, moved to the back door opening it for the one and only Ryker Fox who walked out in a black suit. This guy is like really, really tall and if you ask me it is abnormal to be that tall, he is probably around 6’5 or 6’4 and everyone he walks with is at the same height as him which is also odd like where the hell did they get such heights, it is ridiculous, is that like the first interview they have to pass when getting jobs to work with Ryker. I have never seen a place that has same height people like the CC’s but that is not what angers me although it is part of what angers me about Ryker Fox.

Ryker Fox angers me, ALOT and your about to find out why if we exclude out how he smells, looks, talks it is all just…Ugh. I got out of my car “What the hell do you want you bastard?” I asked anger sipping in my voice.

“You know what I want now hand it over” that commanding voice just pisses me off so much.

“Like hell I will” I replied with a serious tone myself, I hate the fact that I have to really stretch my neck inorder to look at Ryker’s face because of how super tall he is yet I stand at the height of 5’9 which has never bothered me until this ridiculously tall guy “I wouldn’t want you to ruin my day, get your stupid car out of the way now” I said as I tried opening the car but Ryker held it

“You really like making my job hard detective Relish” Ryker said rolling his neck and I heard his bones crack, I unconsciously winced holding my own neck why did he do something as disturbing as that “I need the flash now”

“Am also doing my job here Mr. Fox” I replied staying firm, I saw Ryker’s eyes flashed dark purple like always. Here is the thing, Ryker has purple eyes ‘weird I know’ they get darker purple when angry I guess then they go back to faint purple. That is the cycle of his eyes and at first I was like, his eye contacts must be expensive if they shift like that from time to time but all in all I hate his eyes, they look bad and un natural to me but he seems to love them since he has them on all the damn time.

“Am not going to repeat myself Relish” his calm but venomous tone may make everyone crawl away in fear but not me, I am not backing down on this bastard. He thinks he is above the law and he can do whatever he wants to do like no one can take him down but I will.

“Well Fox, I guess that means you should leave because to be honest your presence irritates me” I said with a glare, he knows how to push my buttons so good yet his mere presence angers me, I heard growls from his men or should I say body guards but I wasn’t fazed since they growl all the damn time.

“You really like acting like a child, we both have jobs to do and you should just stick to yours instead of going where you’re clearly not needed” Ryker said getting close to me as we stood face to chest with my neck looking up at his now darker purple eyes “do you have a problem with abandonment”

‘huh’ I couldn’t believe my ears, I felt so much anger as I balled my hands into fists, how dare he say something like that. I raised my hand punching him as hard as I can but it was like punching a brick wall, Ryker didn’t look affected nor did he touch where I punched him or move his head to the side or anything, he seemed unfazed yet my knuckles hurting, I punched him pretty hard and I know I have a good punch in me with all the damn training I got in order to join the police “I will make it my job to find out which cave you crawled out of and take you back you ignorant, stupid idiot. I wish you fall into a ditch and get lost from the face of the earth”

Ryker looked at me from top to bottom before turning around and walking away leaving me behind fuming in anger “I hope you get murdered you fuckin piece of shit and one day I will uncover all of your dirty secrets and make sure your ass rote in jail for a life time” I yelled on top of my lungs when he drove his car away but I still needed to give him a piece of my mind.

I kicked my car in anger, I never thought I could ever hate someone like I hate Ryker Fox. I kneel down every single night and pray that that mother fucker gets killed somewhere no one will ever find him, I wish for the worst. Never wish anything bad for a person, never pray for someone’s death but ever since I met Ryker two months ago because he is the leader of the CC’s, all I wish for him is death in the worst way possible.

I have never wished for someone to die painfully but I need Ryker to die a slow and painful death that even when he goes to hell because he is going to hell, I wish for Ryker to be burnt for eternity and that is when I will be able to sleep at night without planning his murder in my head every damn time my head hits the pillow.

I hate Ryker with every soul of my body.

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Chapter 3

Dreams hold meaning, listen to your dreams sometimes they hold the answers your searching for…..

My young self saw the boy laying down on the cold ground with his head covered up by his long dirty brown hair, his clothes are torn and only cover a little part of him. His fingers and legs are chained together with very strong chains  covering up his entire fingers. I can hear small sounds coming from him and his body shivering once in a while, I think from the cold since the room is cold and dark, the moon is the only source of light that is enabling us to see anything.

I was about to move my cold feet from the floor to go meet with the kid when the door opened, a tall, really tall man entered wearing black from head to toe with a cap and since I am too short and the light is limited I can’t see his face. He made long strong threatening steps and if he was trying to make me scared he succeeded as I felt myself get stuck on the floor unable to move my feet from fear. The kick in the kid’s stomach made me cough out loud crunching my stomach in pain as I got down on my knees in tears, feeling the kick rearranging my inside while the kid who has just gotten kicked didn’t make a sound.

I cried clunching my stomach tightly “Please” I heard the kid whimper, I turned my head to find the guy has pulled him into a sitting position, his hair is still covering his entire face. A red light appeared into the guy’s hand as he took the kid’s hand before passing his light onto it, I cried out in pain feeling the light penetrating my skin as pain surged through my entire hand making me writhe out in pain, the pain was too much I tried asking the guy to stop but it seemed like they can’t hear me. I don’t get why the things he is doing to the kid are happening to me too, the kid is just making groaning sounds not moving while I am crying out in pain, writhing on the floor with need to cut off my hand just to stop the pain.

I don’t know how long it took but in my head the pain took forever before it could stop, my hand started getting some kind of relief but I still couldn’t get off of the floor. The guy said somethings I couldn’t hear before walking out and banging the door behind him with force. My eyes moved to the kid who is back to laying in the same position as he was in before with his hand all burnt up, I sat up holding my burnt up hand which has started healing slowly my skin getting back together and covering the hole that was created by that evil man, my hand healed up with all the pain that once surged it disappearing.

I glanced back at the kid when I could get on my feet again, he might be strong or just used to the pain since he didn’t cry out in pain when he was getting burnt yet I was dying and I am older than him, I am twelve while he looks to be around six or five. I wonder why that guy has a young boy locked up in a place like this all chained up like he can cause so much damage to the world. He is torturing the kid which is illegal, his parents might be worried searching for him and they don’t know where their son is ‘i wonder how long it has been since he was locked up in here’ I need to save him from this place, whatever this was I had to take him out before he can get murdered by the guy ‘Will I die too since I feel the pain he feels’ I shrugged, I didn’t dwell on the idea that the hand that had a hole in it just healed out of the blue, all I need to do is save this kid.

I walked up to him, taking slow steps not to startle him just in case he can hear me. I reached him, I knelt down touching his shoulder when a certain calmness took over my senses. Suddenly everything felt so calm, like I belonged exactly right where I am, not the room but next to him. I wanted to get even more closer to him feeling relief, calm, comfort and safeness like no one can hurt me, like I belong I was brought back to my senses when the kid shivered “Am not going to hurt you, we need to leave” I said glancing around to see if I can find the keys to the chains, I didn’t search for long when a cold metal touched my hand.

“A-Am sorry” the kid’s voice came out as if he doesn’t know how to talk or has never done it before, he was still not lifting his head up “Am so sorry for all o-of this” I was about to ask why he is apologizing when something took over me, hatred took over my senses, I felt hate towards him, so much hate in my bones as I was pushed out of the room into somewhere so dark with me yelling in anger.

I sat up in my bed breathing hard feeling pain in my chest. I held my chest with sweat coating my entire body and bed. I shrugged off my shirt before looking at my hands looking at the last scar I got hasn’t changed “I thought they stopped?” I thought out loud getting concerned again.

That looks like a dream but it wasn’t, when I was young I used to get episodes where pain would shoot through my body in a specific place at any time. I was around twelve when they all started happening, first it appeared like a dream but my leg was burnt and when I woke up it had healed but it left a scar that I still have up to now. Then it started getting worse and the pain just grew each and every day but I always felt the pain was never on me but rather the kid who I felt a strong connection with. The episodes as doctor Walker called them started happening even when I was in school in class, playing with other kids.

Up till now I don’t know what was happening but it took two years for the episodes to stop completely. My last episode was the one I just had with the kid apologizing the throwing me out. I still can’t explain it but this particular dream made me feel like I was abandoned or rejected by someone who I trusted dearly. In all the episodes I used to get I never once spoke to the kid until this one when he apologized

In those years I lost alot of things and people in my life, I have scars, I always have to cover up and people started saying I was just weird for feeling pain that is not there. I was sent to a mental institute since they said that the disease I have was in the brain and I was creating situations that aren’t there, I spent two years until the episodes stopped, I was released after doctor Walker cleared me as mentally stable to go back into population. That was the first day I smiled in years but it turned out I was never meant to be happy because when my parents didn’t come get me from the hospital, doctor Walker drove me home only to find my parents had up and left with a single note that our neighbor had, it said “ We can’t handle this anymore, we don’t know when you will be discharged or if you will be discharged but we wanted a normal kid not this“ yeah I have never seen them ever since then.

I was taken into forster care as they were searching for my parents. I cried myself to sleep again, this time not because of the pain I used to go through, but the thought of my parents leaving me behind hurt so much, they left when I needed them the most, they couldn’t wait for me to get better they decided to leave and get a better life without their abnormal child, this is why it hurt me so much when Ryker said I had abandonment issues, it is true what he said and I hate that he is right, I got out of bed to go get myself some water pushing them out of my mind.

I am wondering why I got that dream again, it didn’t leave a new scar because I have already had the dream before and it was me going back into my child hood age. I reached my bathroom taking a sip of water staring at myself in the mirror, I have so many scars that I can’t count but up till now I don’t know why I was connected to the kid or who was the guy who put these scars, I would care if the kid escaped but the hate I have for him is too much for me to care so I don’t.

I shrugged off my shorts before going into the bathroom, I took a shower did my business, brushed my teeth then got out of the bathroom. I put on my clothes, picked up my wallet, badge and gun. I picked up the flash on my bed side taking it to the bathroom and keeping it in my cabinet drawer then left the house after locking up. I got into my car driving to the station trying not to get worried with the dream I had, it can’t happen again, it is all in the past and I shouldn’t be worried about it.

I walked into the station past everyone like they didn’t exist. The dream came again yet they had stopped when I was fourteen, I am twenty six now and I am wondering why they would be back to haunt me again, I thought I can leave that in the past and move on with my new life.

I took a seat on my desk while massaging my temple I didn’t get enough sleep since all the dreams are so real, they feel like I am really there in that terrifying room- “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed” Bryan commented handing me a cup of coffee.

“You could say that, thanks” I sipped on my coffee feeling better than before, I needed coffee “How is Paula and Simon” I asked trying to get off of the topic, he might ask why I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and I have absolutely no answer for him.

“Good, Simon is giving Paula more trouble than ever” he said shaking his head “Paula found him trying to climb the sink, he almost fell if she wasn’t in the room on time to catch him, she was so terrified but Simon was giggling telling her ‘again’ that boy of mine”

“He will give poor Paula a heart attack” I commented Paula is such a softie. She gets scared easily and I know that moment terrified her so much, when she makes mistake or when Simon gets injured accidentally when running or knocks himself on a table she always thinks she is a bad mother for letting her kid to get injured, I am not dad but I know a bad parent when I see one and she just loves her kid so much that she wants to save him from all the danger around him, that is being a good parent.

I cut myself off when the entire station fell silent and I wondered why, I lifted my head searching for the reason when my eyes landed to the person I want to see last in this world “Detective Relish” even the way he says my name just pisses me off, as usual he has two tall men, standing a few feet away from him. He is wearing his blank face as usual, his purple eyes staring directly at me as they stood as the giants they are towering over everyone in the room.

“Mr. Fox” I said again fighting the urge to kill him, that feeling washes over me every time he is around. I stood up glaring at him even though my entire colleagues are shaking in fear like the cowards they are, I am not a coward and this guy doesn’t scare me at all in fact he does the opposite anger me to the core. “How may I help you?”

“I need the flash” that commanding irritating voice angers me, he thinks I will do things just because he asked for them. I moved my hands to the desk handing him the flash which he took and I am glad our hands didn’t brush each other because the idea makes me want to puke, he stared at me skeptical as to why I didn’t argue like I usually do ‘well surprise, I don’t want to argue today’ Ryker passed the flash to the guy behind him who inserted it into a small device.

“Why are you still here?” His mere presence makes my skin crawl, he should leave now.

“Am guessing that is not the flash I am looking for” his gaze is not leaving me.

“You asked for a flash you didn’t make it specific which one you wanted” I replied folding my hands above my chest, his blank face didn’t change but his eyes did by becoming a darker purple as he took, I think what was meant as threatening steps towards me, I didn’t back down I stayed my ground daring him to scare me.

“Relish” ugh, he should stop saying my name “You’re playing a game that I wouldn’t advise you to play” I scoffed “Let me hope you take my warning, the next time you play games with me I promise there will be consequences”

Did he just threaten me, at a police station with every one around. That son of a bitch, I should just murder him today, I opened my mouth to retort but he was already at the door going outside, all my co workers look like they have been suffocating and now they are breathing again making me so angry, how can one man scare them shitless like this, we are the police nothing should scare us when we are the law “He has just threatened me in a police station and no one thought about arresting him” I yelled fuming in anger the nerve of that guy, and the nerve of my co-workers to be cowards

I started pacing around with so much anger flowing in me that it is boiling my blood, I feel like I want to murder someone and that someone being……

Ryker Fox

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Chapter 4

Sometimes let a mystery stay what it is because what if you don’t like the answers found or lose yourself in the process……

“I can’t believe your all going to stand there and let that man threaten me and do nothing” I yelled again, all the anger that has to go on Ryker putting it on them since they are all cowards. I know they couldn’t have arrested him, I tried once and he was released before I finished snapping the cuffs on him, that is how powerful he is and I know it but I am angry. I picked up my jacket and gun from the table with all there gazes on me “Your all….. Ugh”

I made my way out of the station feeling angry at the entire police station because of how much of cowards they are to not even try stand up to that bastard who is taking all of our jobs, they do nothing all day now days because whichever case that comes the CC’s take it. This is the police, we shouldn’t just sit around and chat, laugh like idiots when criminals are taking over and we are leaving the biggest one on the lose.

“Do you want me to come with you” Bryan asked, I glared at him before getting into the car without a word. He too is scared of Ryker just like the rest of them, I never saw him as a coward until the CC’s arrived. I need to find out something that will help me put Ryker in jail, no one is that perfect at hiding their crimes, one of these days he will slip up and I will be there to throw his ass in jail.

I caught up with his car and I started following it at a safe distance wishing I could just knock it off the road ‘Oh my God Cole, stop thinking like a killer’ I shook my body to get that serial killer thought out of my head, everyone deserves a chance to go to court so that they can pay for their crimes and not get an easy way out by death. That is the reason why I joined the police force in the first place, I need to see bad people rote in jail not kill them myself but Ryker just…..

I slowed down my car when Ryker’s car stopped at Frat’s restaurant where the robbery happened. I stayed in my car as Ryker walked inside the restaurant, I was going to follow him inside but I might stop him from  what he is going to do so I  decided to stay in my car and wait for him to come out, it didn’t take long when he walked out with another guy I didn’t see him enter with, I can see the guy’s lips moving but I can’t read them since I am too far, all I can see is that they are capturing the women’s attention.

I wonder why they find them attractive, they are all just ugly especially Ryker and I would pity anyone who would like to be with him. The guy deserves nothing but a miserable lonely life. They both got into the car driving away as I got out of mine making my way into the restaurant looking for Tracy, they have to have talked to her “Tracy” I called capturing her attention “Can we talk?”

“Who are you?” Tracy asked, I didn’t think too much of it as I showed her my badge telling her my name. We walked into a private part to talk only to find out, she knows absolutely nothing of what I am talking about, she doesn’t remember anything about the robbers or what happened two nights ago, she doesn’t remember the ring or that she even talked to me yesterday. I know I am not special that she should remember me but I asked her questions and not everyone can forget something like that unless your a criminal and you meet the police every day

When I asked her what those two dudes wanted, she didn’t remember them. She didn’t know what I was talking about, she is either lying or Ryker and his friend did something to her. With their height it is so hard to not notice them or forget them that quickly, why is she saying she didn’t see any tall guys in here, is she saying they didn’t come in here when I personally saw them come in and out of this place.

I didn’t know what happened but I decided to go to the manager who called the case in and he is the same, he knows nothing of the robbery too. Things have just gotten weird now, how come the people who knew about the robbery yesterday don’t remember about it today. I asked for the video footage of that night and today and when he showed them to me, it was different than the one we received. This one has no robbery in it at all, no faces of the robbers or the commotion, today’s video shows no Ryker in it too. I saw him enter this place, I am certain about it, how come he is not in the video. I asked for both videos. I need to find out what is going on here, when I reached the office I got all of their names and addresses of the customers who were in that restaurant when the robbery happened. If Ryker made Tracy and the manager to forget plus other co workers he couldn’t have made all the customers in that restaurant that night forget too and if I need to find out what really is going on this is my first clue.

That is why I am knocking on the door of my first customer. I put my right hand on my pistol standing there waiting for him to open up and when he did an old man probably around his mid sixties with gray hair and blue eyes, I showed him my badge “Good after noon officer, how may I help you”

“I am detective Relish, are you Rodin Trey” I asked reading the name from the paper in my hand he nodded “If you don’t mind I would like to ask you some questions”

“About”

“You were at frat restaurant one night ago at around 9 pm” he nodded “I would like to know if there is something you saw that was a bit suspicious” Rodin made a thinking face looking to the side for a minute before averting his eyes back to me.

“No, all I remember was that the food that day was too spicy and I hated it” Rodin replied, I sighed pulling out the photos of the robbery showing them to him, yes I managed to get their photos but not their identities.

“Do you by any chance remember these two, they didn’t pay for their meal” Rodin took the photos examining them closely before shaking his head no handing them back to me “Okay, if you see anything please call” I said handing him the card, sighing in disappointment. This one doesn’t remember a thing that night, what are the odds that he also doesn’t remember, did Ryker reach to him before me.

I decided to not give up as I went to a the customers who were there that night but as Rodin they all don’t remember a robbery happening. Yet in the video I have they all stopped and stared at the waitress and the guy which means they heard what happened but now they are all telling me they didn’t remember what happened in there, why is everyone forgetting about it.

‘what am I getting myself into?’

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Chapter 5

We all want to know the truth until the truth we are searching for destroys us…..

I glared at my boss showing him exactly how I feel about what he is saying. When I came back from that long day of interviewing the customers he has been bothering me with his ‘get off of this case’ bullshit. I don’t want to be rude or anything but his forwardness is pissing me off “I can’t allow them to do what they want” I argued back

“They are superior than us, do you want to get in trouble with people like them. I am just looking out for you Cole” Looking out for me how, by wanting me to let them do whatever they want without us doing anything, watch the cases disappear in their hands, we signed up to give people justice not sit back and watch them cover them up like that.

I was about to argue again when my phone rung, it is a new number “hello” I said as soon as I picked up, it is already time for me to be home enjoying my own company but Dylan made me stay to give me his speech I didn’t need and I wish he knew that.

“Hello, is this detective Relish?” The woman asked, I replied ‘yeah’ “You showed me photos earlier of a man and a woman who looked alike, they were here just a few minutes ago, they have just left out going to the south”

“Can you give me the location please” I picked up my note book and pencil, writing down the address “Thank you so much” I hang up tearing the paper from the note book picking up my badge and gun “I have to go now”

“Is it that case again” Dylan asked, I had no time for this so I ran away leaving him there. He can save his lectures for someone who needs them, I reached my car starting it and driving away at a high speed following the address the woman gave me. I decreased my speed when I reached the place, I drove slowly observing outside in hopes that I will find them in this bad looking crowded town.

My eyes were so focused on the outside that I forgot to look in front where I was going until someone yelled banging my car making me hit the brakes. I tried apologizing to the guy who kept on banging my car cursing at me, some other guys followed in suit and they looked like they wanted a fight and I was definitely not in the mood to argue with anyone when I have criminals to catch.

I pulled out my badge showing it to them, when they saw the badge they sprinted down the streets like they have just seen their worst nightmare. It was laughable and I chuckled a little at how the entire street went into panic mode when the guys yelled ‘POLICE’ Everyone was scattering around, some tripping and falling down before getting back up and running. I didn’t do anything other than showing them my badge and they are running like I killed one of them, I sighed looking around the now empty street.

If the criminals were close by then they have to have run away and I won’t be able to see them now. I started my car again to get back home, this was not the day to capture them, I will get them some other time. I turned my car around to get back where I came from when I heard screams, I stopped the car glancing around trying to figure out where those screams came from. They came again from my right where there is a much darker ally and I couldn’t see anything from where I am parked.

I drove towards the screams when something hit the hood of my car before falling down ‘what is with me and knocking people over’ I thought stepping on my brakes before I could run over someone, running out of my car I walked over to see who it was. I found a man groaning on the ground “Sir you okay?” I know that is a stupid question but I need to know if he is fine  I knelt down and I was about to touch him and check for his injuries when he lifted his head making me jump away from him in both surprise and fear as he growled.

I am calling it a thing because I am staring at something I have never seen in my entire life. It has jet black eyes, it’s teeth are inhuman, very sharp, it’s face is animal like with black veins on it’s face and hair on its hands. It looks like a beats from a television that you never expect to be seeing in real life. I pulled out my gun when it started getting close to me “Stand down” I was proud of my voice depending on how much fear I am feeling in me, I shouldn’t be able to utter a word. The thing growled getting closer and when it jumped to attack me I fired my gun only for the thing to disappear.

I looked around wondering where it disappeared to, the fact that I don’t know where that creature is takes me into panic mode with my head swinging all sides just in case it appears when I least expect it. I heard snarls coming from above me and when I glanced up the thing was dangling a few feet above my head. I couldn’t help the scream that escaped my lips as I crawled from under it and a few feet away in fear and stupidly leaving my gun behind, the only protection I have against this thing.

I sat there in fear and not having my gun next to me adding to the fear when I realized something, why was it just dangling and not attacking. The thing was not just dangling, it was being held by the neck by someone very tall that I couldn’t see the face of since he has the thing right in front of his face. The thing whimpered as it tried crawling on the man’s hand but he wasn’t letting go. For a human he really has so much power in that one hand to hold something that big in the air as it thrust fighting to get away but the man wasn’t letting go until it all just stopped, the whimpers, the snarls and the cry’s of the thing stopped going limp into the man’s hand who finally let it go.

It fell on the ground with a thump sound making me squeak while moving away from it. I glanced back up to find purple eyes staring back at me as he fixes his coat as if he didn’t just kill…uh I don’t know what to call it but I know one thing it is not human but Ryker had not right murdering it like that. That wasn’t self defense, that was murder, he was stronger than it and he could have handled this differently. I crawled to my gun ‘don’t judge I can’t feel my legs’ I picked it up pointing it at Ryker “Why would you kill….” I glanced back at the thing “it or him”

Ryker looked at me from head to toe before turning around and leaving as if I am not pointing a gun at him. He has that tendency of staring at me from head to toe then walking away but this time I have a gun and I am willing to use it “Ryker, your under arrest stop moving now” I yelled with my hand on the trigger feeling so tempted to shoot him but I have just gotten evidence of him murdering something and this might get him behind bars so killing him would be pointless plus if I am to ever shoot him, I want when he is looking at me so that I can fire at his heart directly.

He stopped turning around his hands not leaving his pockets, his purple eyes the only thing I can see very clearly, he pointed behind me and I wish he is not showing me what I think he is showing me. I lowered my gun turning around cautiously wishing it is not what I am thinking, I have seen that thing get killed and if I find it behind me I will faint. I finally got the power to turn around, I gasped when I saw the thing moving on the ground writhing.

I pointed my gun at it but it wasn’t getting up, it’s bones cracking filled the entire ally. It’s bones were cracking like rearranging, I witnessed it’s crawls move back into its skin, it’s teeth moved back, the hair on it shed off as all the veins disappeared leaving a man laying on the ground with dark black blood coming out of its nose and mouth. I turned around to ask Ryker what is going on only to find him gone and I realized I was in the ally alone with a thing that has turned human and not just human but the guy from the restaurant, the robber.

I ran to my car and drove out of there without even looking back, I have seen alot of weird things happening in my life but seeing something turn from beast to human freaked me out so much that when I reached my house I locked the door breathing heavily. I peeked through my curtains to see if anything followed me, was it still alive. It transformed into human, I don’t know what to think any more.

I shrugged off my shoes, removed my jacket then my shirt and trousers before walking to the bathroom to take as shower and after the night I had, all I want is to get into bed and sleep even though I haven’t eaten dinner.

And that is exactly what I did.

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Chapter 6

Something that is yours will find you even when you give up on it……

“Are you sure this isn’t some type of made up story because you want Ryker to go to prison” Bryan asked, I am taking him where I saw Ryker kill that thing and Bryan is not believing any of it like I would want to sound crazy if it wasn’t true.

“I know what I saw, that thing looked horrible then it turned human”  I explained for the hundredth time, I need him to believe me after what I saw last night, I was so terrified of sleep just like I used to be when I started getting episodes though this time I saw something that in my mind I thought it was impossible until it happened right in front of my eyes. I still don’t know if it was fear that made me see what I saw because my mind tends to make up staff but it has never showed me something that wasn’t real.

I turned into the side of the town where everything happened and I stopped existing the car, that thing hit the hood of my car lat night. The place is so clear like no murder happened, it looks like how it should look, dirty with graffiti on the wall, trash being scattered everywhere by the wind. Everything looks normal for a place like this “I should have known he would clean the place” I said through gritted teeth. Now I regret running last night, maybe I should have called for back up.

“If what your saying really happened, at least one homeless guy would have seen it” Bryan said glancing around the ally, he was going to make his way to one homeless guy at the end of the ally but I caught his wrist stopping him.

“They had all run away last night” he gave me a puzzled look “I kind of showed them my badge and the all ran so I don’t think anyone saw anything and if anyone really saw what happened Ryker would have messed with their memory”

“Are you hearing yourself” Bryan questioned getting his wrist from my hand “Okay even if all the people ran and no one witnessed anything you ‘claim’” he air quoted ‘claim’ “How can Ryker mess with their memory?” He asked “I think your obsession with the guy is making you see things, the chief was right get the fuck off the case before I will have to see my partner and friend being taken into a mental hospital”

I wanted to argue and say I saw it but then I remembered how I used to see things when I was young and it all made me be taken into a mental institute because they thought My brain was making up all the pain. My parents disappeared because of that and I am not willing to lose the only true friend I have due to something stupid and probably imaginary “Your right” I said in defeat “Let us go”

I was glad when he didn’t add anything to that, we entered the car and the entire ride back to the station was silent. I decided to keep my sanity and get off of the case before I start seeing more things that are not around or I can’t prove, I don’t want to be taken back to the mental hospital and all because I wants to find out about this case ‘good thing no one died’ do I can be rest assured no one needs justice plus the restaurant doesn’t remember any of it so it is for the best, I can find another way to put Ryker in prison but I will have to work on myself first.

All of this is too much and I would never want to go back to that place in my life again. I glanced at Bryan who is on the phone and with the smile on his lips he has to be speaking to his wife but I can’t hear anything he is saying yet he is in ear shot. I blinked shaking my head while rubbing my ears when everything became silent around me, all the noise the voices just faded out as my head started pounding and it felt like it was under water.

I held it hard to stop it from feeling like it is going to burst, suddenly all the sound came back but it came back with full force as I started hearing each and every conversation in the station giving me a more massive head ache as I held my ears to drown them out, my vision blurred and all I can see is black all around “FIGHT THE SPELL” an animalistic voice said with so much sadness in it’s voice, I could hear it’s desperation for help. I could hear it breathing hard, I feel our connection but it is too faint because something is stopping that connection to grow. Purple eyes with a yellow fleck appeared out of nowhere right in front of my eyes scaring me that I fell back hitting my head on the ground so hard.

I gasped for air like I have been suffocating, I coughed holding my throat coughing so hard while heaving on the floor, I  heared faint voices calling up my name with hands on my shoulders shaking me. I looked around but all I can see is darkness, I rubbed up my eyes before opening them again to meet with my partners look of worry that turned into relief when I opened my eyes “what happened, how are you feeling?” Bryan attacked me with questions, I pulled myself up and he handed me a glass of water. I took it in my shaking hands taking a sip while pouring most of it down on my shirt “Are you fine?”

“Yeah” I replied, the entire station is staring at me with concern “I didn’t get enough rest last night, I got dizzy” I made up a quick excuse which is part true because I didn’t sleep well last night and maybe that is what I need “I will go home and get some rest”

“Shouldn’t you go to the hospital” one of my co workers asked.

“I will go with you” Bryan jumped in, I stiffened before shaking my head no. I picked up everything that I need, walkinh out of there before anyone could add anything to that. I got into my car driving off back home, what happened back there? It came as one of my episodes but this time instead of going into that dark room I heard a voice. A voice telling me to fight a spell, I have never heard voices ever in my life and this is new and terrifying. Why would it come to me and why now, why was it sad.

I got back to my apartment and after closing the door  I ran upstairs, I checked under my bed pulling out a box. I opened it taking out all the sketches I drew whenever I would see the boy laying down. I arranged them in order from the first one to the last one and every sketch here is the number of scars on my body and that is 128. All the sketches are of the kid, the guy plus the thing I saw last night but nothing else, I have never seen purple yellowish  eyes before and the thing sounded like an animal “Am going crazy” that is my worst fear. The fear of getting back in that place, I promised myself I will never go back in that place and I tend to keep it, whatever is trying to drive me crazy I need to stay as far away from it as possible.

I got up walking into my medicine cabinet picking out two sleeping pills before taking my trousers off and falling onto the bed, I didn’t sleep well last night and maybe that is why I am hearing these things, all I need is some rest and it will all disappear.

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Chapter 7

Admitting that we need help isn’t a weakness…..

It has been two days but I feel like I am going crazier by the hour, the dream is getting strong plus the voice, I have been calling in sick for two days now because I feel as bad as I look. My sanity is disappearing with each second that passes, I can’t sleep because everytime my head hits the pillows I get the dream again and again ‘This is getting out of hand’

Even when I’m just sitting the episodes come back and the voice says the same thing ’ fight

the spell’ i still don’t know what that means no matter how much I search, I still don’t even know what spell I have to break, are spells even real. I don’t believe in such things but this thing is driving me crazy when my life has just become bearable enough to be proud of where I have gotten my life to. Being thrown into forster care where I had to feed myself, get hated for once being in a mental institute, at school were I had to keep to myself because I was the crazy weird kid whose parents ran because they can’t deal with the embarrassment. They were all bad years, I was thrown out of the forster care at eighteen, had to work hard and follow my heart in what I wanted to do, I knew no one will help me or tell me I can do it because I had no one. I managed to get into the police force without going to college, I was so proud of myself that even when I was alone without friends I was okay, it didn’t matter I was here because of me now look at me, here on the floor losing the one thing I have arrived to keep.

Getting off the floor where I spent another night looking through the sketches that are providing no answer, they are not clear but they can show what I was trying to mean. I have improved by the years, I walked into the bathroom taking a shower before putting my clothes I picked up my wallet before making my way to the car.

I started driving back to the only place I feel like is capable of helping me in this kind of situation even though they weren’t much help in a previous years but at least tthey gave me some pills that helped me get some rest at night, yes the sleeping pills I have been taking aren’t working and they are just giving me a massive headache every time I take them. I reached the hospital gulping, I never thought I’d be in this place ever again but here am I. I walked in straight the receptionist “hi, my name is Cole Relish, I would like to meet doctor Walker” she leered at me from head to toe as if sizing me up, I know I look like a mess right now but this is not that time to judge patients. She was not here the years before and this place has changed alot.

“Do you have an appointment” I shook my head no “Am sorry you can’t see him now but I can fix something for you in two days”

“You don’t understand I need to see him now” I said desperately, I need to meet him now and today because I feel like I’m going crazy and if I was to wait a day or two to meet him I might have gone crazier by then, this time it is in full force even though I’m not getting physically hurt I am getting emotionally hurt by each second. Do you know how you would feel if your mind is being so productive to show you things that aren’t real, then a voice telling you to fight that spell and it is not allowing you to sleep ‘that can make anyone go crazy’

“Am sorry but you-” I just walked away to Walker’s office, I just hope it never changed. I need to see him and I am not leaving without seeing him today. The elevator are closed as the security team were running towards me but I need to see the doctor.

When I reach to the floor I walked out of the elevator going to Walker’s office entering without knocking “I am still-” Doctor Walker stopped himself as he took in my state, my clothes look like I have been wearing them for weeks and I know my face is not better, that is why I need to talk to him “Will you give us a minute please” the nurse nodded walking out leaving me and Walker in the office alone “Take a seat and tell me exactly what happened”

I sat down when the security guards burst into the room heaving, I think they used the stairs “It’s fine you can leave” Walker sent them away, they left after asking are you sure to Dr Walker who nodded “Tell me what happened”

“It’s back” I mumbled not making eye contact with him “But this time it is different, I can’t sleep and I hear a voice saying ‘fight the spell’ from time to time, it comes like my episode then a voice says”

“How long has this been happening?”

“Today is the third day since it begun” I replied still not making eye contact.

“Do you have any idea what could have triggered it” I shook my head no, it all just started happening like it used to happen out of nowhere “You know I have to hospitalize you again” I snapped my head up so fast getting out of my chair scratching my cheek as I observed the doctor consciously. That was fast, we haven’t even exchanged two words and all he is thinking about is hospitalizing me again.

“I-i can’t be here, I have things to do, a job and a life, I just can’t be back here” I stuttered not buying the idea of being back in this place when I have a life. If the police chief finds out I was hospitalized again, he might never give me my job again.

“You came here seeking help and we both know it is only going to get worse” Walker said he stood up from his seat too sitting on top of the desk “We need to help you before it gets worse Cole, if you’re scared for your job I will make sure you find it after treatment”

“Last time it took two years before I got better”

“You came here because you needed my help and that is what I am trying to provide, we need to start sooner than later before you start hurting yourself like your doing to your cheek” I took my hand off of my cheek to see blood in my nails, he tried getting close to me but I stopped him.

“All I needed was medicine to help me sleep that’s all” I slid down the wall sitting on the floor, I promised myself that I will never get back in this place, I suffered enough as it is why is it coming back.

“If you live here you will be able to get the medication you need to get better” Walker said kneeling on one knee next to me “We can help you before it gets worse” I pulled away from him standing up.

“I won’t be in this hospital again, I will find another way to stop what is going on, I don’t need your help” I said walking away from the doctor’s room before he could say anything I entered the elevator taking me back to the first floor, I walked out without looking at anyone back in my car. I might not have any idea how to stop this but I will never get in that place again. I wiped a tear from the side of my face when my eyes became blurry. I sniffed rubbing my eyes to get all the tears out when strong loud noises hit my ears.

The road I am on is empty but the sound of cars attacked my sensitive ears. I took my hands off of the wheel holding them over my ears to cover out the noises but it was in futile as the noises only intensified until it all drowned out “FIGHT THE SPELL”   the voice came again, purple yellowish eyes made me start gasping for air again coming back to reality heaving taking in all the much needed air into my lungs while coughing hard. I opened my eyes to find my car has run into a rock on the side of the road, I unbuckled my seat belt, opened the door then jumped out still coughing, my legs buckled out below me and I fell on the ground everything shaking, my body in pain.

I couldn’t help the tears from flowing out of my eyes, i don’t want to go back in that place again but it looks like I am in that place again, my life is getting ruined again and I have no way of stopping it again “WHY ME?” I yelled holding myself into a ball, I don’t care how bad my head hurts, all I want to do it let it out, I want to let it out and maybe, maybe it will all stop and that is what I did, I cried on the ground.

I don’t remember falling a sleep but I woke up with a hand on my shoulder, I opened my eyes to find a face I don’t want to see in my entire existence “What are you doing here?” I harshly asked pushing his disgusting hand off of me, I got all the power in my bones and got up from the ground walking to my car on my shaky legs and still pounding head “I asked what are you doing here?” I asked again not yelling, my head hurts so much and I controlled my voice. He kept on staring at me like I am a tourist attraction, I pulled my gun plus my other essentials out of my car, when Ryker didn’t reply, I walked away without another word, it is annoying being close to him but it is more annoying when my head hurts and he doesn’t reply to my questions.

I walked getting back to the road until I felt footsteps following me “Go somewhere Fox” I yelled stopping to look back at him.

“You need a doctor”

“Did I ask for your opinion” I yelled holding my throbbing head, I already have alot on my mind and he is the last person I want to deal with “Go and do what you do best and leave me the fuck alone” I resumed my walking but I could still feel him “I am not in the mood Fox, I swear I will put a bullet in you if you dare take a single step”

I threatened but I feel like I am capable of doing something in this moment. I resumed walking and as the none listener he is he continued following me. I pulled out my gun pointing it at him, this is enough. Without hesitation I fired three bullets aiming for his heart, I want him dead not injured and with no regret I waited for him to fall on the ground dead, the world will be a better place without him in it and I will finally be able to breathe again. My eyes widened, my gun fell out of my hands when I saw Ryker dodge bullets like I have fired stones at him, that did not just happen “b-b-but-t-tha-” I stuttered falling down on my knees, I couldn’t stand on my shaky legs anymore after what I have just witnessed.

I leered at Ryker for a couple of minutes still in shock yet he looks like he hasn’t dodged any bullets with his hands in his suit staring at me with a blank expression. Tears started rolling down my cheeks again without a car that I am showing my weakness at him “I-r really need help” I sobbed knowing I can’t fight the inevitable “am going crazy” I admitted crying out loud as my head ache caught up with me, I held it as it throbbed so bad that I passed out from the pain and shock.

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Chapter 8

It is not bad to follow dreams no matter how crazy they make you look….

I woke up feeling well rested than I have felt in two days, I stretched out my body feeling the soft bed…what soft. what last happened drowned in me, I opened my eyes to find that I was back to the house, I stopped remembering when I passed out in the middle of the road so how come I am at home…my eyes landed on something rather someone I don’t want to see sitting in my couch staring blankly at me.

“What the fuck you doing in my room” i asked shivering in disgust just the thought of him sitting in my couch, now I have to throw that out “You know what, I don’t need to know all I want is to never see your ass ever again” I said changing my mind because I feel a little happy that I slept well without any voice waking me up.

“You said you didn’t need a doctor”

“So you want me to thank you for bringing me home, you should have left me in the middle of the road since your the one driving me crazy”

“How am I driving you crazy”

“I know you know what I mean, you killed that thing that turned human then you dodged bullets like they were nothing. Am sure if I never see your ass again all those things won’t be happening now get out” I ordered pointing at the door.

“I don’t know what your talking about” he denied with that blank expression of his. This is exactly what I am talking about, he is messing with my brain now he wants me to think I am stupid.

“Get out” I ordered again stern on my decision while getting off of my bed, I am in no mood to question the sanity left because of Ryker, I got out my thoughts to find Ryker still not moving “I said get out” I repeated with anger as Ryker stood up fixing his coat and that was just pissing even more ‘this is not his house’ “I said get the fuck out”

He gave a firm nod before walking out as I pulled my hair in exhaustion yet I have been sleeping, I looked at my bed side to see the time and it says 10 am ‘wow I really slept’ for the first time in days but then I had to wake up to the idiot’s sight. He had a choice to leave me on the road instead of bringing me home as if I asked him to do it, the thought of him touching me and bringing me home is making my skin crawl “I need a shower” I took off my clothes throwing them into the bin as I entered the bathroom. I scrubbed my body cleaning in out, after taking a shower, I tried covering my cheek from the bruises I caused my self. I made myself as representable as I can for my work day, I can’t call in sick again, Bryan will be at my door right then and there.

I walked out of my apartment while still fixing my gun holster “Cole” I looked up to find Bryan getting out of his car “How you feeling?”

“Good, did you come to pick me up?” I asked while getting to Bryan’s car.

“Yeah, we got a phone call this morning that your car was found on the side of the road” he looked at me with a worried expression “but you were nowhere to be found, what happened?”

“A dog scared me and I lost control of the car hitting the rock but it is no big deal” I lied with a shrug as Bryan nodded hesitantly but didn’t ask again which I am grateful for. He glanced at me with worry still in his eyes.

“Let us got for breakfast” he finally said starting the car up, I know he has some questions depending on how I have been behaving these past few days but I don’t know if am ready to talk about it, I looked outside dreading whatever conversation we are about to have. The entire ride was silent until we reached the cafe ordering our breakfast while still in silent and I could feel the tension between us but I was not willing to start this conversation “Cole” I stiffened when he broke the silence that was some how killing me inside but I enjoyed it more than the conversation we are about to talk about “Am your friend and you could tell me anything”

I glanced from my food looking at him “Yeah, why?” I asked observing him, I know he trying to hint something but I will play damn for as long as it takes.

“I don’t get you anymore” Bryan said as he rested his hands on the table “Your close but far away at the same time, don’t you trust me anymore. Am I not trustworthy enough for you to tell me your secrets because right now I feel something is up but you’re not telling me anything?”

Bryan gave me an intense look daring me to lie to him. We have known each other for four years now and I could say that he is my best friend I have ever had but how can you start listing all the things that I see and hear, they all make me crazy and when I tried telling him about something I saw Bryan just told me that it was about my obsession with Ryker as he calls it, which is wrong because I have no obsession with Ryker, all I have is hatred.

Bryan doesn’t know that I was in a mental hospital before and I would like to keep it that way but if I keep on telling him about all the things that I see then later he finds out that I have had some mental problems. All that I will do will be taken as me being crazy, I don’t know if that is how he will react but I would rather not take chances.

“Just my hatred for Ryker is kind of getting to me” I mumbled getting my attention back to my food, it is part a lie and part the truth coz it is true Ryker gets to me and I would like to shoot him but I don’t think I will be trying it anytime soon depending on how it all went down when I tried killing him and even though Ryker denied it ever happening, I believe it did and no one is going to tell me otherwise moreover Ryker Fox “I found him in my apartment this morning looking for the flash can you believe the nerve of that guy”

“Did he find it?” Woah I was lying but now that I think about it, what was he doing in my House. Did he take the flash, is that why he acted like a great samaritan only to get the flash “Maybe it is good he takes it, so you can cut him off completely if it is getting too much for you. You know what they say ‘If you leave whatever stresses you, you will find happiness’”

“Who says that?” I asked with a chuckle.

“Me but you can’t deny that it is right” I laughed nodding yes as we continued eating our breakfast with small talk and once we were done we drove to the station and begun working just like we normally did, the entire day went on without a voice in my head and I am glad I had a normal day for once in three days.

In the evening, me and Bryan had some fun in a club catching up. I said goodbye to my partner feeling happy after the fun we had, we worked as we used to do, like two normal detectives. I sat on my bed feeling as lonely as ever because of my cold bed reminding me each and every day of how lonely I am but who will ever want to date me when I am mentally unstable. I am notwilling to let any man in my shitty life and yes I am gay, I found out I was gay at a young age but I was fully sure when I was fifteen after kissing a girl, that went bad.

At the age of seventeen I tried dating but my fear of letting someone in made me back off therefore putting myself off the market. Now at the age of  26 I am scared of letting anyone in but who would want to be anywhere near me, I sighed snuggling in my pillow with my lonely thoughts.

I recognized

myself back inside the room with the same kid on the floor. As always I was about to get to the kid when the man entered kicking him in the stomach and even though I felt the pain too my eyes were on the room searching for the keys and ways to get this kid out of here, I am not letting him stay in here another day, I am going to do anything to get the both of us out.

The guy pulled the kid up with the red light in his hand, I prepared myself for pain but there is nothing that could have prepared me for that light because no matter how many times I have faced it, it hurts, it hurts so much I cried out falling to my knees holding

my hand yelling at him to stop but he didn’t, he never stops. That light feels like a burn of direct fire searing inside of my hand getting hotter with the feeling of needles pricking throw the already burt skin. He finally stopped his light, yelled something to the kid that I couldn’t hear before stomping out of the room, I stayed on the floor waiting for my hand to heal as I won’t be able to do anything while in pain.

My eyes were scanning the room but there are no keys, I got up when my hand was fully healed making my way to the kid holding his shoulder as the comfort washed over me “Am going to get you out of here” i promised passing my hands on the chain to see where the key hole is but there is none, how did he use these.

“Am sorry” the kid apologized “am so sorry for all of this” something about this moment felt oddly familiar and as the kid raised his hand, that is when I remembered that the kid always pushed me out after apologizing but this time I am not getting cursed out.

I am staying until we get out of here together.

He was a bout to push me out but I caught his weak hand stopping him from what he was about to. For the first time he snapped his head up, my brown eyes connected with the kids purple and red eyes. One eye is purple with panic and fear in it while the red one shows pure rage. His face is covered in dirt but something just drew me in, he was so captivating, so beautiful even when he is angry I could see he was so… “NO” he growled and before I knew it I was being pushed out of the room again this time, I didn’t feel hatred this time i was pushed out and all I felt was love.

I woke up from the feeling of falling, when I looked around I was back in my bed alone, breathing hard with my entire body and sheets covered in sweat. I don’t know what happened but whatever it was I finally got a glimpse of the kids face even though it was covered in dirt and hair, his eyes are so hard to forget.

I got out of bed picking up my pencils coloured ones and sketch book and my hand started moving on its own. I didn’t know how long it took but my hand stopped moving and I had drawn the dark room, his brown hair hanging on both sides of his face. His purple eyes with panic and fear plus his red eye staring at me in anger that only drove me in.

“Who are you?”

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Chapter 9

Love hits hard and unexpectedly, there is no way to hinder love…..

I glanced over my shoulder that feeling of someone watching me, the feeling has been there for days now but every time I look over my shoulder I see nothing. All I see are people going with their daily lives and sometimes I scoff because I remember like no one is interested in my life so I just leave it at that.

Anyway no need to dwell on that, my life has been going great, no voice no episodes and no weird dreams technically my life is great. I feel better than ever like something was washed off my body after a long time of it being stuck with me, I am not worried I feel alive and for the first time in my life I feel like my life is better “Cole” I came back to reality when Bryan called me “What are you smiling about?”

“I don’t know how to explain it but I feel free” I explained with a smile stuck on my face as we walked down the streets with our drinks.

“Maybe you left your stress behind”

“Maybe” I agreed “I think I am ready for a relationship” I can’t believe that me Cole, the one who has been having a voice in his head is considering something like that after so long of being scared of it but now I feel ready to love like I have never loved before in my entire life. My heat is open to show some love.

“Do you know how long I have been waiting for you to say that” the excitement in Bryan’s voice couldn’t be masked “for four fuckin years and I can’t believe I have had you say it finally, we need to get you on a dating app right away, We have to take some sexy photos showing off your body you need a haircut new clothes yep clothes are really needed”

“What is wrong with the way I dress” I asked genuinely confused, I don’t see a problem with my clothes.

“They make you look like a grandpa” he replied and I gave him the look, there is nothing wrong with my clothes “We will have to take some sexy photos but most of all, tell me what type of guys your into so that I can get you the perfect match” Bryan found out I was gay a year after our friendship, it is not something I go around telling people but he had started forcing me out on dates with his wife’s friends. At first I accepted because I didn’t know if he was homophobic or not but I got exhausted about it so I told him, he took it cool and I appreciated that but it was never a subject we talked about.

“I don’t think I have a type” I replied

“Everyone has a type, do you want him to be short and slender” I shook my head, I may not have a type but I definitely don’t want that “Tall and muscular” that doesn’t sound bad, I nodded though I feel like all of this is for nothing since I feel like I have already found the one for me yet I have no one in mind “Okay noted I will get someone to fit that….where are we going again” I gave Bryan a face that said ‘are you serious man’ we have been walking for thirty minutes because we decided to stretch our legs to go look at the cameras opposite where the murder happened and he is telling me he doesn’t know where we are going “Don’t judge me, you destructed me with you being ready for a relationship” I chuckled continuing to walk “Hey you didn’t reply”

“You will know when we arrive” I said and we continued our journey with that feeling of being followed still not leaving me but I am too excited to start dating for me to worry about something that is probably my imagination. I am excited to start dating but Bryan’s smile shows how excited he is for me, I feel so happy that he is my friend.

We reached the coffee shop, got the video footage we needed before going back to the station to look into them. The rest of my day went like that with me and Bryan trying to solve a murder that happened last night, surprisingly the CC’s didn’t take this case to. I am done with the CC’s but not with Ryker at least not yet but for now he is on a low, I need to work on myself, my happiness before I start going after him and unmasking all his crimes. I am in a good place to start unmasking a mystery that is Ryker.

I walked into my house exhausted after a long day, I rested my gun and badge down, then shrugged off my jacket. I don’t remember the last time I felt like this, it’s not like I am complete but ever since that day I got to see that kids face, something changed. I don’t know what changed but something did changed, something set me free, something washed off. I picked up my phone ordering my food before walking into my bathroom taking a shower and when I was done a knocked sounded on my door, I got my dinner, took it to the living room while going through some files and I was ready to retire to bed when another knock sounded on the door.

I scrunched my face, I never have visitors and it can’t be Bryan at this hour. I walked over the door, looked through my peephole but whoever it is he is really tall since I can not see his face but his chest. I opened up the door and I believe I have been taken somewhere where I can see HOT standing in front of me like a shinning gold medal. I drooled, I literally drooled at the HOT guy I am staring at.

I have never seen a man as handsome as the one standing in front of me, the man has a triangular shaped face with well defined features, a strong well shaped sharp jaw. His brown hair cut to the sides shaping his head nicely but all in all it is his eyes that are so captivating, that I couldn’t breath and I forgot that they are blank showing no emotions but those purple eyes called out to me, they are trying to communicate with me, they are holding something that is both beautiful and mysterious that I am getting pulled in. He stands at a nice height of 6’5 with broad shoulders and a body I am so sure is well built under the tight suit that fits him very well attempting me to touch it.

His legs make him the sexiest man that has ever walked planet earth, he deserves to be on magazine covers ‘i know I would like it if he was in my cover’ just the thoughts of those big hands on me made my skin yarn out to be touched by him, the man is gifted he should be proud to have been given everything anyone could yearn to have but I don’t yearn to have what he has I yearn to be touched with everything he has and that strong aura getting off of him that commands respect from everyone around just….mwah, he is the full package and what I need “Hi” my eyes snapped up when I heard that voice, oh shit that voice made me so hard in my pants and I think I came getting hard again, the sound was nervous but still held something that held my heart, my brain and my stomach which is full of butterflies flipping in turns

I cleared my throat, shifted my hips, averted my eyes just to calm my body, brain and mostly my dick that is so hard than it has ever been before in my life and all for the man Ryker Fox, the man I have wanted to kill ever since I met him, the man I tried killing not so many weeks ago is the man I have been checking out like there is no tomorrow. What happened to I hate him, my face heated up in embarrassment that I had to hide my face when I choked out “hi” I was so embarrassed and hot “Can you give me a second” I stuttered running away before he can say anything else.

I ran into the kitchen pouring myself a glass of water, chugging the entire glass of down. I fanned myself feeling so hot all over and my hard on is making everything a million times worse. I am with a person who hates me and might not be gay. Oh shit he might not be gay, I let that sink in and my solution was to not fall for him and just hate him again. I took in deep breaths, I used to hate him how hard can it be again “Sorry about…..” Definitely hard, definitely hard since the man has gotten ten times hotter after the few seconds I didn’t see him. Everything in him became so much more HOT than before that I couldn’t utter another word as I let myself be captivated by the man.

“I…” He too trailed off pushing his big hands into his pockets standing there without a word. I am fine with us standing here like this, I can watch him all day long and not get tired but when fear crossed those beautiful purple eyes I grew concerned even though his face moved back to that blank one I was still worried. I watched his mouth open and close a couple of times with nothing coming out, scaring me.

He then started taking steps back “Fox is everything fine?” My concern was getting the best of me, I shouldn’t be concerned but I am. I too steps towards him, I want to be assured that everything is okay even though I don’t know what i am talking about but I wanted to comfort him, protect him, pull him into my arms and tell him everything will be fine.

“Am sorry” Ryker mumbled, turning around walking away taking my heart with him. I tried following him but the man walks like he is running and secondly I was not wearing any pants. I stood there staring at the hall way where he stood with my heart pounding.

“I think I am in love” I mumbled closing the door behind me, I ran up the stairs picking up my sketch book and a pencil as I started sketching every detail perfectly as I had just seen it. It is all like they are imprinted in my memory but how can I forget how handsome and drop gorgeous Ryker looked, no one can forget someone like him now I wonder why I have never thought of him in that way at all. All I used to feel was anger and hatred and all I saw was someone that needed to be eliminated from the face of the earth now how I wish to see him again or better yet touch him, smell him.

Purple eyes

Cole is in love with the person he used to hate, what happened… comment below

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Chapter 10

The most magical thing is wanting to spend time with the person you love and it gets better when they want to spend their time with you…..

I woke up with Ryker’s sketch in my hands, I glanced at it and smiled as I remembered the dream I had last night which had my cheeks in flames. This sketch made me feel like I was close to him for the entire night, I shook my head to get that dream out resting the sketch back down making my way to the bathroom, I did my business, took a shower, got dressed, picked up all of my staff then made my way down and into the parking lot.

I got I into my new car I got after wrecking the first one into a rock, I sighed shaking those memories from my head, that is the life I should get over again and burry in the past as I pursue things in front of me. My life is doing great to let what happened in the past ruin it, I walked into the station greeting everybody as I got to my desk greeting Bryan “Tell me we don’t have any work today”

“We don’t why?”

“Good, I need to go somewhere can you cover for me” I said getting up again, I have been seated in my seat for not longer than a minute but I just can’t hold it in, I need to see him.

“Sure but remember I got you a date tonight at 8 pm” I stopped in my tracks, first of all I am not going to be where I am going for that long, only a few hours and I will be back so he would have informed me of this when I got back not this early, secondly how did he get me a date this early, I informed him of this yesterday, he said we have to buy clothes ‘even though there is nothing wrong with my clothes’ take sexy photos, get myself on a dating app, how did we jump from all those steps to a date “I will be at your house to help get you ready”

“But-but…”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be” Bryan said in a dismissive tone turning away from me, I told him we will talk about it when I get back before making my way out of the station. Getting into my car and punching in the CC’s coordinates, I have never been to their head quarters since we’ll I hated them and Ryker, I never wanted to be anywhere near him before but now…things have changed and I want to see him, look into his eyes. The entire drive I was nervous shaking like a leaf, how is he going to look today, I parked the car outside what is supposed to be their head quarters, the building looks like a hotel, a very expensive hotel ‘i guess I shouldn’t be surprised because he has money and all’ but was a building like this necessary.

I got out of the car, my heart doing flips in my chest at the thought of seeing Ryker but me and remembering how hot he looked yesterday it made me feel like this maybe is not a great plan. What if I get a boner again, that will be so embarrassing and I will not be able to hide it since I am in his building and in public but I am also a professional and I can handle this, I picked up the files I brought with me before making my way into the building.

I past security opening the door to find each and everyone standing in one place all eyes on me, do they never get visitors. I tried greeting them but no one replied ‘Okay’ I thought ignoring them all making my way to the person behind a counter getting weirded out by the stairs they are giving me yet still not moving “Excuse me” I called trying to get her attention but she seemed to be in her head “Hey” he blinked staring at me “Hey, am here to see Fox”

Growls consumed the entire building startling me that my heart literally stopped in that minute. I know I have heard them growl like a countless times but I feel like I am in the enemy territory and they can kill me hide my body and no one will remember my existence. My first instinct was to pop open my holster clutching my gun tightly while holding the files in my left hand tightly. I know I am scared I know and I might be seeing staff but I think their eyes are yellow, not like yellow the sun, their eyes have a yellow ring to it, it’s creepy and I believe they weren’t just a minute ago and if they were I would have noticed.

“Knock it off, get back to work” a stun voice calmed down the beasts that looked ready to pounce on me. The yellowish color moved out of their eyes as they walked back to do their work like that intense moment hasn’t just happened even though it did to me. It was scary and creepy at the same time, I am used to the to Ryker’s growling and it has never scared me at all but this scares the shit out of me “What a pleasure to see you Mr. Relish”  I glanced back at the guy who calmed them down, he is the one who I saw with Ryker the other day, I nodded still trying to get my heart and mind back in order “Don’t mind them”

“Well I didn’t until they scared the shit out of me” I complained getting my hand off of my holster the guy chuckled before handing me his hand.

“Felix McCoy” I took his hand shaking it “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you”

“Shouldn’t it be a displeasure you know because your….I mean Fox hates me” I explained, his boss hates me and I came here without informing them, I bet he wouldn’t want to see me, my heart hopes he is as excited as I am to see him, I heard Felix laugh “Sorry did I miss something” I asked taking my hand back

“No” He said still chuckling “Ryker said he will meet you now, let’s go” I gave him a wondering face of how they communicated that but anyway, maybe he told the woman on the desk who informed him when I was in my head. He led the way with me beside him admiring the decorations in the building, whoever did this deserves a bonus, he made the building spectacular. We reached the elevator and when we got in I started admiring it’s glassy interior “What would you want to talk about with Ryker”

“Am sorry but it is between us and I don’t know if Fox would want you to know about it” Felix laughed making me wonder what part made him laugh, the fact that me and Ryker have secrets or something else.

“Ryker has never said you are that funny”

“Am not, I haven’t made any jokes” I know I wasn’t trying to be funny, that is so not my department. I am not funny and I know that but again Felix laughed making me question, I know I am not funny but the guy keeps on laughing about everything I say, maybe he is just easily amused, that can be the only explanation I can come up with. The elevator opened and a frown immediately formed on my face, did someone different design this floor.

The floor if so boring and so badly designed. I no nothing of designs but I know bad when I see it “That is the face I made when I entered here the first time” Felix said and turned to him “I have always told him change and make it more entertaining to the eyes but he said as long as it is pleasing to my eyes”

“If this is pleasing to his eyes then I wish to see his house” I commented, if you could see the mess on this floor you can fall dead, who ever accepted to design this should have fallen sick and left the money instead of destroying a beautiful expensive building by doing this. Felix opened one office with a boring door and if this is Ryker’s office then I will question his life choices. We entered the office and it is indeed Ryker’s office, it is boring as the floor but it has someone worth staring at.

Ryker is sitting staring at the papers in front of him “I guess I will leave so that you can both talk about your secrets” Felix smiled patting my back before walking out, I stayed standing there awkwardly staring at Ryker hoping he would lift his head and look at me but he didn’t, it is like he is ignoring me because he can’t be reading those papers at how stiff his shoulders look.

“Hey” I said taking a seat even though he didn’t tell me to sit, I wasn’t planning on standing this entire meeting. Him not looking at me made my heart tighten in hurt, doesn’t he want to see me as much as I wanted to see him “Fox” I called and that managed to make him look at me, everything in me disappeared staring in those purple eyes I missed so much ‘his face should be illegal’

“How may I help you Mr. Relish” his voice, I know my dick is hard again and I wouldn’t mind if he bends me over and fucks the shit out of me, his voices sounds like the kind of voice that can make you do anything.

I cleared those thoughts “Am…I need to know if it was the CC’s who took Mr. Roberto’s body” I asked handing him the file, I could feel the tension in the room and myself I don’t know where that tension is coming from, Ryker went through the photos.

“We have him why?”

“Well we need him back, the investigation is ours and the family wants the body back” LIES, the case was given to them and I haven’t talked to the family but I figured they would want his body back, all excuses to see this man.

“The family will get the body after the autopsy” I nodded “And don’t forget that this is not your investigation Mr. Relish”

I rolled my eyes “Yeah because you always steal all of our cases” I whispered slumping back in the chair and the unimaginable happened, I heard Ryker chuckle, I glanced at him as my body grew goosebumps just hearing that sound, he cleared his throat his face going back to that blank one. I didn’t even get a chance to see his teeth or see his smile.

“I can put you on the case if you want it so bad” I leaned my elbows on the desk, is he kidding. Do you know how much I have asked him to involve me into an investigation and he has been blowing me off as if I didn’t matter, now him suggesting it out of the blue makes me question.

“What is the catch” he made a ‘huh’ as if confused “Your not joking with me right” I asked more clearly.

“I don’t think I ever joke”

“I didn’t think I joked either until McCoy laughed at everything I said” I don’t know why I said that.

“Maybe he finds you funny” well maybe but I don’t think I am funny

“So what do we have in the case, I need to know everything since I am joining”

“We haven’t done an autopsy but I can take you to and we can do it” Wow bomb after bomb, he wants to take me, I thought he will send me to someone but he wants to do it, that is okay, I get time to check him out smell him and get to know him. We stood up leaving his boring office which is as bad looking as the rest of the floor, he is handsome but he sure has a bad taste in design.

‘i guess we can never have it all’

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Chapter 11

The truth always sounds like a lie when your trust in people is small

….

My eyes have been on him ever since we left his office, he is so hot it is hard not to stare at him just to admire. His creation must have been for years, I wonder who he looks like between his parents, his dad or his mom coz I think they both had to be super hot to give birth to a human that looks like that. He is a specimen that is not from this world, he stared down catching my eyes on him and my face heated up as I glanced away from him wow, I am so glad he didn’t say anything about it, I would have died from embarrassment. He should be used to people staring at him, who wouldn’t want a piece of him. ‘i got it bad’ I can’t think straight ‘Good thing I am not’ The elevator stopped opening “Good morning alpha” a man said as soon as he spotted us walking out of the elevator.  Ryker gave him a look that made the guy bow a million times before running off with his tail between his legs.

They are weird, they are calling him alpha now like he is not just a boss but a leader, isn’t that too excessive even for them. I would never see my boss as my leader, I walked beside Ryker and whenever we passed they bowed calling him alpha, I stopped thinking of it, if that is what they want then I guess it is fine to bow to him, there is a certain respect that they are giving him and no wonder he owns the whole world, people are practically bowing when he passes by. I guess it is not forced, if that is how they want to see him it is there choice anyway the floor has some nice color to it and it matches the money spent to it unlike Ryker’s floor. I wonder how his brain works, for him to see this and be like ’nah I don’t want it’s it makes me want to get inside his head and see how he thinks, it might be interesting in there.

We reached the morgue “Alpha?” The woman sounded surprised getting up from her chair “Morning alpha, I wasn’t expecting you”

“Go pull out Roberto’s body” Ryker commanded, the lady didn’t say anything as she walked further inside with us not far behind.

“Alpha this body was brought in last night, it looks like they both died the same way” the lady informed pulling out a second body uncovering both their faces.

“You can leave now” she nodded bowed then walked out and not once did she acknowledge me at all. I shrugged picking up gloves, Ryker pulled off the clothe and I almost puked “Oh my God, what killed him” I have seen people die like this but it never gets easy. People just get more aggressive with time and this is bad, both bodies have deep big lines on the stomach, their insides are ripped out of their bodies it is like someone got a sharp object and ripped them open four times.

“Jessica killed them”

“Who is Jessica?”

“You remember the video you stole, the twins with the ring” he asked making me nod with a proud smile, he has never gotten the flash though it is useless even to me since I can’t use it because of the virus he put on it, I guess it is a loss on both sides “Jackson and Jessica, I killed Jackson and now this is Jessica’s doing”

He pulled both bodies bringing them closer as he started observing them but I am still caught up in what he just told me, he denied that thing ever being real now he is here telling me he killed Jackson as if he didn’t utterly deny it the last time “You know you have just admitted to murder and I should arrest you” he stopped staring at me.

“At least the person I was saving will send me to jail”

“What do you mean?” I asked holding the table “You said it didn’t happen which means you didn’t kill Jackson to save me, you just killed him”

“Well it did and the thing that was going to kill you was a laypole” Ryker said, I raised my eyebrow asking ‘what’ “A laypole is a beast, like what you saw but it can shift into human at anytime and to know if someone is a laypole is by this” he showed me a mark that was on the dead man’s right hand.

The mark looks like a rectangle with two dots in it and what looks like a ring but I can’t be too sure. I glanced back up at Ryker and he was already looking at me, I am not willing to be driven crazy again when I have just got back my sanity, I should have known he didn’t let me onto the investigation with a good heart, he wanted me to drive me crazy with his stupid laypole story “Beasts are not real, no one can shift from human to a beast or the other way around and even if there was such thing we would have known about it”

“I guess they hide very well and I don’t know why you say they don’t exist when you witnessed one shift”

“My mind was just making up staff to scare me” I said sticking to my story.

“So you’re going to accept that your crazy than accept that they exist” he asked as if in disbelief. I am willing to believe I am crazy than accept what he is saying, this will take me back into a place I shouldn’t be in “Let’s get back to work”

I nodded relieved that we have decided to leave that topic behind. We resumed examining the bodies “He was hit on the head but that didn’t kill him, the scratch on the neck and then lastly he was crawled on the stomach” he explained, I nodded this is not my department of expertise and he seems to know it more “this one seems like he knew her but was surprised by the attack but…..” Ryker trailer off looking through the scratch marks “That killed them”

I glanced where he is staring at but I didn’t see anything until Ryker pushed his hand in pulling out what looked like a residue from some metal, I pulled out a plastic bag. He threw it in “I have a lot of questions but first of all do you think this came from the murder weapon”

“Claws were the murder weapon and depending on the smell of that it was from a ring she was wearing” I opened the bag smelling the residue but I smell nothing

“I smell nothing, how did you smell that?”

“I just did” the ego, he couldn’t have told me he did it after a long time of practice or something instead of I just did it “Stella, get me the file of the second guy” Ryker’s voice was low and if he didn’t say the name I would say he is talking to me, he spoke so low for someone who isn’t in the room to hear and I was shocked when Stella entered the room with the files Ryker asked for, leaving me wondering how she did that.

“This doesn’t mean I believe you or anything but if she is a ‘laypole’ as her twin why would she kill her own kind”

“Humans kill humans”

He is right literally but it still doesn’t take away the fact that that wasn’t the answer I was searching for “I hate your answers but what could be her motive” I asked clearly this time hoping I get a straight answer.

“You hate my answers but still ask alot of questions” Argh, I couldn’t hold it in I groaned taking off my gloves, so hot but h can make you head spin in frustration all the time “we will find out her motives” we walked out of the morgue with the file of the second guy. He opened the door for me, my cheeks heated up loving that. I don’t know why he opened the door for me but it feels amazing when he did it and I won’t be complaining about it.

We got into the elevator going back up to the boring floor, Ryker opened his office door for me again and a smiled plastered my lips making forget what happened earlier. We both got in taking their seats, I took both files in my arms comparing the two, we need to find the similarities between them then we might know Jessica’s motives “These guys both live in the same building” their addresses match, there has to be a pattern between them, getting killed by the same person one night after the other and both in the same way has to mean something.

“Just give me a few minutes so that we can leave and go check it out” Ryker replied without looking away from his computer so focused

“But if you say they are beasts that shift to human, how come you know about it”

“Your human but you know about it” oh, I wish I can get my hands on him just so I can punch him a good punch, he is handsome but man his words just makes it hard to love him, it is always between love and hate for this guy.

“You keep on reminding me why I hated you” I mumbled looking around the boring office, he makes it so hard to not hate him all together. His office is so boring and the only sight in here is Ryker so I glanced back at him to find him already staring at me with something in his purple eyes that I couldn’t decipher. He turned his head back to his laptop and I stayed there getting entertained by him, his face doesn’t change but he is still eye candy, I have always wanted to work on cases with the CC’s but most of all I would like to know the real Ryker Fox.

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Chapter 12

Love is hard to find….

“I don’t feel like it” I whined sitting down on the bed “Why do I have to go huh?” Bryan pulled me off of the bed “Why are you forcing me”

“Your going on that date Cole” he said leaning on to the closet, folding his hands over his chest “Do you know how long it took me to get you a date” apparently not long, we talked about it yesterday how come I have a date today.

“I am not backing out” I scratched my nose “I have had a busy day today and I am tired, that is why I am suggesting that we can just post pond it to maybe this weekend” I suggested taping my feet silently praying we could back out of all of this, I am in no mood to go on a date when I am already in love with someone.

“Where were you this entire day?”

“Umm…I already told you, I had a case that I was working on”

“You just did that thing you do when you’re lying” I scoffed hiding my hands so that I don’t do it again “Yes you did, you have just scratched your nose which means you’re lying and now if you don’t go on this date I am going to drag you to that restaurant myself” he threatened and I caved “now put on these clothes”

I took the new clothes he bought glaring at him before walking into the bathroom. I started changing so tired after the day I had with Ryker looking through the case of Jessica. I found out that the CC’s do things so differently when they need things, they can break into a house and say it was necessary. He broke all the laws in the book in just hours and I have to say it was a roller coaster of emotions for an entire day.

He was so hot when he ripped things apart, I think that is the only thing I didn’t mind when he did then. It just brought out his muscles and I enjoyed every single part of that even though the owners of those things won’t be so happy, at least one one of us is happy. We didn’t find much but the similarity between the victims is they were both working for the same company too, it was late so we don’t go check it out. We decided to do that the next day “Hey you don’t have long get out” I sighed walking out of the bathroom wearing a jean that is so tight for my own liking.

“Bryan this is too tight” i complained wiggling in my pants walking to the mirror “Bryan”

“Oh my god those jeans are gorgeous, they will make any man want to fuck you”

“What?” I asked my mouth hanging open “Bryan, I don’t need to get fucked on the first date, that will show I am desperate”

“Aren’t you?” I scoffed, if I am desperate about anything it is Ryker. For him I can beg on my knees just to get fucked by that hank, not anyone else so no I am not desperate “When was the last time you had sex, I have known you for four years but you have never once slept with anyone and that is only long enough for you to be sexually frustrated without adding the years before” I shook my head “You need some dick man”

“I need a relationship”

“Who says you can’t have both”

“On a serious note these pants are too tight man” I complained pulling them on a little because they are holding me so tight that I am fighting to remember how my usual pants felt like, so free and comfortable. They are what I need, not these that restrict my movements.

“Those are the right pants, he needs to see your ass because right now I can definitely fuck you” I could see Bryan through the mirror biting his lips with his eyes on my ass. He has never said something as gay as that and checked me out like he is doing right now with his eyes coated with lust if I can see clearly “You really, really have a nice ass how come I have never seen it before, wow, I would definitely tap that”

“Then why would you send me to some stranger when you can do it yourself” I moved close to him touching his chest, trying to flirt but I looked silly so I pulled back laughing, I can’t flirt for shit and I looked weird.

“If I wasn’t married I would definitely fuck you” I don’t know if he is serious but he has to be joking since he is not gay or bisexual “But I will take you up on that offer when me and Paula are over, it won’t be soon but a man can wish right”

“I will keep you up on that offer too” We have never talked so sexually with each other before but it is nice knowing that he is comfortable in talking gay things and think nothing of it “Okay let us go and if this guy is trash I will never let you pick a date for me ever again”

“Yeah, yeah if you don’t like him at least get him to take your virginity”

“Who said I am a virgin?” I asked locking the door behind us as we walked down the hall then down the stairs and into the parking lot.

“Depending on how long it has been, yeah you’re a virgin again” I chuckled shaking my head, it has been years and he is partially right, my first time was awkward, not enjoyable at all and I think that helped me into not craving sex alot in these past years.

“Yeah, okay I will see you tomorrow then” I waved walking yo my car when I gasped jumping up “did you just slap my ass”

“I couldn’t help it, you have a fine ass”

“If I didn’t know better I would say I turned you on”

“Good thing you know better” he kissed my cheek before walking over to his car, what has just happened. He is married and in love with his wife, I am just overthinking this, he is just so comfortable with me being gay or he wants to show me he is comfortable with it. I got into my car driving to the restaurant already disappointed that this date won’t be with the person I want it to be with. I feel it in my heart that I will not like this guy but I hope he doesn’t suck. I parked the car in the parking lot dreading this and the feeling of someone watching me.

The feeling feels harmless but I hate it, if they want to talk to me they should approach me and get this over with instead of hiding in the shadows. This feeling has been happening a lot and it can’t all be in my head, someone is following me. I glanced around to see if I can find whoever it is but no one is there, I sighed before walking into the restaurant and my eyes immediately landed on my date who is seriously flirting with the boy opposite what is supposed to be our table.

‘such a turn off’ he is a man whore, shouldn’t have expected better. I rolled my eyes when he winked at the guy who blushed sipping on his juice, I should just go home and ditch him, this is not worthy “Sir can I help you” the waitress said getting attention on me, now my date also is staring at me, too much for running away now I have to face him.

“No thanks” I replied walking over to the table “Am Cole and your Andrew” he smiled handing me his hand. I gave him mine for a handshake but he pulled it to his lips pecking them. He is handsome but he looks like someone who is a player, I want to date but not with someone who will cheat on me after a first date, I snatched my hand away not liking that “Can I sit”

“Of course” I pulled out my seat “If I am being honest, you alot hotter than in the photo” Yeah definitely hate him, this is a no. He thought that is a compliment well it is not and I hated it.

“If you didn’t find my photo hot, why did you agree on this date”

“Does it matter” I shrugged, maybe it doesn’t because I did the same thing but still i was forced on this date by my crazy friend but what is his excuse “You have a nice ass”

“How did you see it?” He pointed behind, I turned to see a mirror where I was standing “Okay” I have nothing else to say to him.

“Tell me about you Cole” I really don’t want to.

“I am a cop” the waitress came to our table and I asked for some wine “What do you do?” I changed the topic from me to him.

“I am a tour guide” I nodded taking a sip of my drink “You’re really handsome and that ass in those jeans are killing me” I think these jeans are magical, they got Bryan to flirt with me and now they are making Andrew to focus on me and not that boy he was flirting with earlier. We laughed the entire dinner chatting about random staff and the attention he gave me made me want to see him again even though I wouldn’t like for it to be romantic but just as a friend, Andrew is a good replacement to get my heart from Ryker.

I judged him earlier but he seemed to surprise me, I don’t know if my ass changed him and he wanted to fuck it so hard, whatever it was I love it “I enjoyed your company and I would like to meet you again” he moved his thumb on the back of my hand harassing it but I don’t feel like I should feel. He is hot, nice and easy to talk to and if I keep hanging onto Ryker I might end up alone for the rest of my life and that is not what I want but I need to accept that I am not Ryker’s type.

“I would definitely like to do this again” I accepted and the moment those words left my lips the entire place started shaking, cracking up, things started falling “Everybody RUN” I yelled trying to get up but I couldn’t, I Couldn’t get to Andrew who was knocked down by something sending him down. People yelled all around crying out in fear, i tried getting up to help but the building fell down on all of us, pain was the first thing to come, everything became blurry before darkness took over and I passed out

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Chapter 13

Everyone gets lost in life, staying strong always gets you exactly where you want to be…..

I felt myself being pulled from the hole that had sucked me earlier before feeling like I am falling again, hitting my head “Cole” a panicked voice called, I groaned holding my head “You good?” I don’t know if I should nod because whatever is going on is scaring me. Everyone in the restaurant is staring at us or mostly me but there stares aren’t the ones making me look around.

This place was in pieces before I passed out, why is it still up with everything in order like nothing has happened. Why is everyone alive….what is going on “Hey you feeling good?”

“W….w…why…I…it” I stuttered taking my hand off of my head, blinking rapidly just to make sure this is real and it is

“Let me just take you home, can I get the check please” Andrew asked pulling me up, I got on my knees not caring how I looked, I moved my head around. I remember what happened, I am sure an earth quake happened and the entire building came down on us, we were all crashed by the building, I am sure it all wasn’t in my head it happened “Come on let’s go” Andrew pulled me up, put my hand above his shoulder helping me walk out even though I feel good.

“What happened?” I asked after we reached outside pulling away from him to stare at the building once again, Everyone inside is happy enjoying their meal like nothing happened.

“You suddenly fell from the chair and hit your head” I do not believe that “I think you were a little shaken up, let me take you home” he took my hand helping me walk to the car and after opening the door he walked to the driver’s side “Give me your address”

He started driving after I gave it to him, I wanted to laugh at myself. Of course the earth quake didn’t happen, everything was in order when I opened my eyes. I am just losing my mind, I don’t know what to think of what I think happened, is this going to be a new…. “Hey we are here?” I snapped my eyes towards Andrew.

“Thank you” I said unbuckling my seat belt “Am sorry for how our date ended”

“It’s fine, I had fun” I nodded getting out of the car after saying goodbye to him “Hey Cole” I glanced back “I like you, can I have your number” I don’t want to waste his time when I am not going to be with him and what has just happened proves that I am not ready.

“Andrew I-”

“I know, just give me your number so that we can get to know each other, I will not put pressure on you and if it doesn’t work out then we can end it but please give me a chance” my lips cracked into a smile, he is a nice guy how can I not give him my number “Your smiling is that a yes” I nodded reading out my number “Thank you” he leaned in attaching his lips to mine, I didn’t kiss back because of the shock plus the emptyness in the kiss. There is something lacking in the kiss, he pulled back with a smile and I smiled just not to disappoint him when I felt a presence next to us.

I turned my head to find Ryker standing a few feet away from us “Fox?” I called surprised he is here, I took him in and he looks a mess, his hair is sticking out in all directions, his suit is all crippled with some buttons unbuttoned, the shirt is not well tucked in and his face has dirt on it, he looks like he has been crying “What happened?” I asked walking over to him thinking the worst, I have never seen him this broken and it is breaking me so much“

“Who is this?” Andrew asked but this is not his time.

“Andrew please go home, I will talk to you later” I dismissed my eyes not leaving Ryker who is staring down, I took Ryker’s hand walking him inside the building, we walked up stairs to my apartment with Ryker saying nothing and looking dejected. I closed the door behind us “Hey talk to me what happened” I asked sitting him down on the couch next to him.

“Am sorry” Ryker whispered and if I wasn’t near him I wouldn’t have heard him “Please forgive me, I-i… didn’t mean for that to happen but I couldn’t help it, I almost killed you, I have never meant to hurt you and I can’t stand myself that I put you into that….” He moved kneeling between my legs with me staring at him in shock, worry and confusion. Ryker is crying in front of me and I feel hurt that he is sad but I am also contemplating why he is crying and apologizing to me “Am so sorry please forgive me, I didn’t mean for that to happen and I would never hurt you but-but I got so mad-”

“Fox” I called cutting him off, I put my hands on his shaky lips as an electric charge passed through me. His lips are so soft, I pulled his head up feeling the same electric rush in me. I forgot about that feeling when I stared into his eyes I was surprised, I never knew that the man who holds himself like he owns the world could look like that man I am staring at who has so many emotions, fear, guilt, shame, anger, sadness, panic and so many, I wiped away his tears “Baby, everything is going to be okay” Ryker wrapped his hands around my waste holding me tight with his head in my legs apologizing over and over.

I wrapped my hands around him and I let the silence calm him down. I felt calm, forgetting all of my problems, feeling his warmth, the peace it brings in me just feeling him close. The peace I have never felt before in my life, I feel like my soul is full after being half all of this time and I know this is right, it is all right having him like this and I hope it is for forever….I got startled that I jumped up when my door banged, McCoy entering my apartment.

“McCoy what are you doing here?” I asked when Ryker refused to let go, he didn’t even shift or move when his friend broke into my house.

“Ryker” Felix called ignoring me “Ryker let us go before you do something stupid” why would he let me go, what stupid thing would he do, I sighed in relief when Ryker held me tighter showing Felix he is not letting go “You’re emotions are not in check, do you want to scare him”

“He has to forgive me” Ryker mumbled shaking his head no.

“I forgive you baby don’t worry” I mumbled wrapping my hands around him, don’t ask why I am calling him that, it just feels right in the moment and I am trying to calm him down.

“Ryker don’t make me do this” Felix warned pulling out a gun and pointing it at Ryker, my heart started pounding and I tried pulling Ryker closer to prevent him from getting hurt by his friend.

“Put the gun down” I ordered protectively, he should get that gun away from Ryker because this is pissing me off.

“Ryker, you know what will happen if we don’t leave now please don’t make me do this”

“Felix put the gun down” I growled feeling my temper rise the more Felix keeps pointing that gun at Ryker who hasn’t done anything. The ground started shaking, my entire apartment started breaking, my mirror, my vases, my cupboards were trembling falling to the ground, the ceiling was cracking and everything was going to fall on us “We need to leave”

“RYKER STOP” Felix growled but he was thrown into the wall by a force I didn’t see, I just saw him being shoved into the wall but he got up immediately pointing the gun at Ryker before firing, I wanted to push Ryker out of the way. My heart had stopped in those few seconds watching in horror, the idea of Ryker getting hurt made me feel like I was going to die if he wasn’t here. What I thought were bullets turned out to be tranquilizers which stopped in the way going back to Felix who ran out of the way avoiding them firing more.

‘what is going on?’

Ryker hasn’t moved an inch ever since all this begun but I could feel his anger and sadness, more tranquilizers stopped in the way going back to Felix “Alpha, is this what you want” Felix yelled above the noise “Do you want to scare your mate, for him to hate you”

The room shook even more and when I looked back at Felix he had pleading eyes as if asking me to stop this but I don’t know what to do or why this is happening. I touched Ryker’s back soothing it while wondering what is happening, I moved my hand into Ryker’s neck putting pressure on his artery, he tried fighting it but in a few seconds I felt his hold on me loosen, the shaking stopped with my apartment completely trashed. Felix knelt down on one knee breathing hard “What happened?” I asked pulling Ryker’s limp body towards me without getting my eyes off of Felix, I need answers. Felix pulled out a tranquilizer from his neck before he fell on the ground passing out too.

Now I have two CC’s agents passed out in my apartment.

“What is going on?”

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Chapter 14

How do you differentiate what is true and what is false….

I woke up with my phone buzzing so loudly, I searched for it with my hand but I can’t find it and I had to open my eyes, the noise is coming from my pants that are down on the floor. I groaned getting off of the bed to my pants pulling out my phone answering after seeing it is Bryan “Couldn’t you have waited before calling me this early” I commented falling back on the bed.

“Cole it’s 2 pm” I glanced at my clock and it is indeed 2 pm, who sleeps that much “I am guessing everything went great since your sleeping up till now” Speaking of my date….Oh shit, Ryker.

“I will speak to you later” I hang up running downstairs, I don’t remember falling a sleep. I had decided to stay with Ryker and Felix until they woke up so that they can give me answers to what was happening, I think I fell asleep somewhere in the middle “What the….” My entire apartment is back in order, everything is in place and the bodies I was expecting are not here “Fox” I called looking around my entire apartment, I touched my mirror  “How did they fix all of this” I asked myself out loud.

What is going on?, Did it happen or did it not happen. I was here when it all happened I had just been dropped off by Andrew when Ryker appeared looking dejected, he started crying. We were holding each other, his friend was here trying to shoot him, I am not letting this go without knowing what is going on here. I ran back into my bed room taking a short quick shower, put on some clothes before running out “Hi detective” Oh no

“Mr. Donovan” I said with a weird smile, such bad luck to find him in the halls.

“Long time” I nodded saying goodbye but he stopped me from going away “We should catch up over some drinks you know I am having friends over and you can join us if you want” I tried smiling, I have so many things to think about instead of being here with him. He talks so much like he is doing right now, I am nodding but I can’t hear a thing he is saying and I am glad my brain is toning him out. This guy can talk anyone’s head off, I wonder how his wife deals with it, he doesn’t take a breath. I shook my head when I saw his lips moving to the words earth quake.

“Wait did you say earth quake?” I asked

“Yeah, as I was saying, it happens for just a few minutes then it stopped, nothing serious-”

“Was the city affected?”

“No just our building apparently, I think the gods were so mad they decided to show us how powerful they are by trying to strike our building down-”

“I have a case, talk to you later” he kept on yelling if I will meet him later for drinks but I ignored him running to my car, I need answers and now I have to get them from Ryker. This is something that could throw anyone into a mental crisis and I am hating whatever game Ryker is playing with me, this is so not cool playing with my feelings like I am not a human then running away like a coward the morning after he caused chaos and havoc.

I got out of the car passing everyone to the elevator, I pushed the buttoned and waited for it to open, when it did I pressed the buttoned to Ryker’s floor tapping my feet with impatience, I need to figure out what the hell is going on before I lose my mind for the second time. I have noticed that every weird thing in my life happened to involve Ryker in ways more than one. The dark room, the boy had purple and red eyes, what are the odds that Ryker has purple eyes. He killed Jackson the ‘laypole’ as he calls it, denied it then later accepted it, he just keeps on going in circles. The elevator opened and I strutted to his office opening without a knock “Detective Relish, what are you-”

“Cut the bullshit” I snapped glaring at him “You came to my house last night apologizing, what were you apologizing about” he gave me a confused look and if I wasn’t so angry at the games he is playing I would have focused at how handsome he looks but not now, brain before heart and dick.

“I don’t know what you are talking about”

“For once can you stop lying” I slammed my fist on the desk throwing his files on the ground plus his computer.

“I am sure my memory is good detective, I would remember being at your house” Ryker said not losing his calm, his face back to being blank “And why would i be at your house to apologize?” I opened my mouth closing it when nothing came out, why would he apologize. The Ryker I am looking at now is nothing compared to the Ryker I saw last night, the Ryker of last night had all emotions written on his face, I felt connected to him but now I don’t feel connected to him, it is like there is a barrier between us.

The Ryker I saw last night was afraid of losing me or being angry, the man who I felt everything with, the man who made me feel complete. Like I have found my other part. My phone started buzzing, I pulled it out to find a new number “Hello” I said after picking up still staring at Ryker’s guarded eyes, no one guards there eyes like that if they have no secrets.

“Hi beautiful how are you feeling?” My face heated up a smile forming on my lips. I turned away from Ryker, I wasn’t expecting that.

“Am feeling better thank you” a growl made me turn around to find Ryker with an angry face “Um Andrew, when you drove me home last night did we meet someone outside my apartment”

“No, we kissed before you walked inside, did something happen”

“No, no I just got curious anyway I am in a meeting maybe we can talk later” I said and when he said ‘sure’ I hung up but still didn’t look back at Ryker. So the earth quake happened but Ryker didn’t come at my place why am I smelling bullshit. If he managed to put my things back together then he is capable of everything.

“Is your boyfriend off of the phone”

“Who said it was my boyfriend?” I asked turning towards him studying his empty blank face. He is Sooooo good at this game. He has some advantage, he can clean up a scene so nicely to the point that you start doubting yourself like I did earlier thinking he wasn’t at my place until Donovan told me about the earth quake.

“He called you beautiful so I thought your dating”

“How did you hear him call me that?” My phone wasn’t in loud speaker so how did he hear that.

“So he is your boyfriend”

“Why do you need to know?” I asked, I sighed glaring at him. He doesn’t need to know a damn thing about my life most especially that department, I didn’t say a single word as I walked out of his office with one thing in mind, he might be good at the game but I have to unmask what is going on here and how he does what he does.

I am going to figure him out.

Do you guys think it happened or is Cole losing his mind….comment your thoughts and don’t forget to vote

Love you 💕💕

Shery7888

Chapter 15

Secrets can be hidden for generations but trust me they are always revealed sooner or later…..

I looked through another drawer picking out another file on a case the CC’s have worked on in the past months, I went through it and it was a case that they stole from us about a woman who disappeared in thin air. The only thing that was left on the scene were ashes and up till now we don’t know how the case ended because the CC’s took it and they say it was solved which means they made it disappear to cover their tracks.

I walked back to my living room throwing the file on the coffee table where the rest of the files are. I have been a mess this entire week looking closely to every case that the CC’s have taken, I have been asking the victims of the deceased about their loved ones that they lost but all they can say is that the cases were cleared and they finally got justice for their loved ones but it doesn’t show things in my reports.

The only thing I can find is that the CC’s take cases and that is that, there are no solved cases, they have ever taken to court, they say that tones of cases have been taken care of and the prisoners are all in jail but they were all sentenced by the same judge. There were no witnesses in those courts ‘at least that is what I found out’ and don’t even let me get to Ryker. If I could serve a medal for someone who is a professional at hiding their lives then Ryker wins the cup. The son of a bitch can hide.

After a week of trying to figure out who Ryker is, I came out short, his file is classified so me as the investigator I am I found a way to get that classified off of his file only to find it empty, I asked myself why they say classified if there is absolutely nothing in it. It was as blank as his stupid handsome, gorgeous face. Any way getting back to the topic I hit rock bottom but I wasn’t giving up that easily because that is not me, so I decided to check up on the CC’s again and after a lot of searching I finally got something and it said and I quote “We work on cases to give people justice, our work is private to keep both you and our agents safe, we work with the president directly to keep you safe” end quote.

I hate them so much but I am not willing to end here no matter what happens, one has to crack and one day I will crack the big mystery behind these guys. Now more than ever, the president needs to know the kind of people he is dealing with because those guys are not what they say they are especially Ryker. We don’t even know where he studied middle school or where he was born, what kind of person lives this world without that kind of information.

I picked up my cup off of coffee as I picked up another file reading through it, the case is about two kids who disappeared and and to be honest this case never reached the station, the woman directly went to the CC’s head quarters. No one knows about those guys, how did she know about them to even directly take a case there “I think I found my first clue” I said out loud while looking of the address on the file. This is the first clue I have found in a week and I hope it leads me somewhere.

A knock on the door made me look up from the file, resting it down before walking to the door with my cup of coffee in hand. I peeped through the peephole to see a brunette girl with light brown eyes. I opened the door, she is short at about 4’9, she is wearing jean shorts with a white crop top and a bag pack on her back “oh thank God, I have been searching for you for a week Cole Relish” she pushed past me getting inside my apartment.

“How may I help you?” I asked closing the door following her in, I walked into the kitchen putting my cup into the sink before going into the living room where I found her peeking through my scattered files “Hey, hey, that is private” I said taking the files from her “How may I help you miss…?” I tailed off arranging the files leaving the one with the kidnapped kids behind.

“Maya” she introduced taking a seat “Your a very hard man to find”

“And why were you searching for me” she got up, walked to me taking a seat right next to me, so uncomfortably close.

“I know what happened last Thursday night at the restaurant” she whispered as if she doesn’t want any body to hear us.

“Yeah I went on a date i am gay so what” I said getting defensive, standing up from the couch.

“I am not talking about that you idiot though as we are on the topic those jeans you wore that day were right for you than these”

“Hey” I scolded “We are not here to talk about what I wear” he is the second person to tell me that this week, the first being Andrew when he saw me in my normal clothes, now I believe I need some shopping.

“Anyway, as I was saying I know what happened” I gave her a face that said elaborate “The earth quake you idiot, I can’t believe your a detective” Okay let us skip the insult and get to where she said earth quake.

“What earth quake?” I asked playing damn, that is the best thing. I don’t know if she is here to mess with me, I can’t go around showing people I see things that are not there when I have just met her. This week I have confirmed the earth quake that happened at the building but not a single soul had confirmed the earth quake that happened at the restaurant, do don’t judge me if I decide to not show it.

“Come see this” I didn’t even see her pull out her laptop but I did sit next to her. She clicked play and a video of her rapping started playing, she has a beautiful voice and the way she is rapping with passion made the song interesting though I don’t know why she is showing me this. I don’t need to see teenagers rap, Suddenly the video started shaking, it turned to the building and it was falling in when, it was the restaurant I was in with Andrew, it was falling in, the video went black and we couldn’t see anything but we could still hear the cries and screams of agony until the video ended.

“I was waiting for my mom who was inside buying us dinner when it all happened, I watched the entire building fall to the ground with my mom inside. All the remaining buildings weren’t shaking except for it, I was so scared I couldn’t even get my feet to move but in just a few seconds the building got itself back together, all the people went back enjoying their meals, my mom walked out like nothing happened except you, you were the only one who left that place shaken and that is why I was looking for you plus the fact that everyone that I showed this video thought I made an edit so I was left with one option you”

I got up with surprise but then she recorded it which means she saw it and it happened, I wasn’t crazy the building fell and someone else saw it happen. See secrets can’t last forever “Oh My God” I yelled “So it is true, it happened I am not crazy”

“What the hell you talking about?”

“All this time I thought I was crazy, everyone in that restaurant said I fell off of the chair hitting my head but I knew I knew it” I held my hands above my head, I shouldn’t be happy because what happened was tragic but they all don’t remember anything that took place “I should have known they wiped their minds”

“What, they wiped their minds?”

“Yeah that is what they do they…” I trailed off looking at Maya “I don’t know you, how can I trust you”

“You don’t need to trust me, I need to know the truth of what I am seeing and if they wipe memories then why didn’t they wipe you”

“ I don’t know“ I have also wondered the same thing but here we are, I always remember everything “if you expected answers from me you came to a wrong place”

“But you want to find out what is going on right”

“Yes I want to but how sure I am that they didn’t send you?” I am still skeptical, how come she still remembers what happened when everyone was wiped. We are in the same boat here, I have never found anyone that remembers what happened except me, now why does she still remember.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about but I know one thing, I am going to find out what is going on with or without you”

Who is Maya, do you guys trust her, comment below and don’t miss to vote

Thank you💕💕💕

Chapter 16

Trusting someone is easy until they give you enough reason not to…..

How I came to be in my car with a minor girl going to look into a case, is beyond me. It might be that she saw what happened that made me trust her just like that without looking into her life. I don’t want to feel alone in this, un discovering a mystery that I don’t know and it seems to be non-existent, it gets too much and I need help from someone who knows and believes what is going on and that person happens to be this young girl “How old are you?” I don’t want to go in jail for putting a civilian and a minor in danger.

“If your worried I am a minor don’t be because I am not and your really bad at this detective staff”

“How come?”

“You asked for my age after accepting us to work together on what might be a dangerous mission”

“It’s not like we are going into battle” I defended, we are just going to ask questions about the kidnapped girls that is it. “We are here” I announced unbuckling my seat belt staring at the big spacious mansion. We walked up to the house, Maya ringing the door bell. The door opened instantly like whoever was inside was standing next the door this entire time.

“Oh, hi beautiful, what’s your name” Maya cooed, when a young girl opened up the door

“Am Amelia” the girl whispered shyly with a red face hiding behind the door.

“What a beautiful name” Maya complimented making Amelia’s face to turn red “Is mummy home” she shook her head “Who is home with you?” Before she could reply another girl that looks exactly like Amelia appeared “ooh your twins, hi am Maya and this is Detective Relish”

“What do you want?” The second twin seems to not like our visitation that much depending on her tone

“We wanted to talk to your mummy, do you know when she will be back” I asked

“She is at the grocery store, she will be back soon” Amelia mumbled when the other twin looked like she wasn’t going to reply. Amelia opened the door widely letting us into the spacious house with the other twin protesting shaking her head no. Amelia took us into the lounge before walking away to go call her mom leaving us with the angry twin.

“What is your name?” Maya asked breaking the silence and the intense glare.

“Emilia”

“Emilia would you like to tell us what happened when you got kidnapped years back” My eyes widened in shock, how can Maya ask something like that to a kid. The subject might be triggering for her and Maya has just reminded her of it as if it was nothing.

“Emilia am sorry about that, if-”

“No it’s fine what does she want to know” Emalia cut me off, Maya said everything but I am not liking this idea at all “We were taken from school by our driver, he took us into this dark place with-”  a loud growl cut her off, we looked back and the door to find a woman with pitch black eyes staring right back at us in anger.

“What are you doing in my house asking my daughter questions” she asked stalking towards us, her eyes show how ready she is to rip us apart. I pulled Maya to me putting my hand on my gun just in case she tries something “YOUR BOTH DEAD” she growled so loud the house shook. My eyes were trying to study her, she looks like an animal just like Jackson Maybe Ryker wasn’t lying after all and Laypoles truly exist. I was about to pull out my gun when the one and only Ryker came in standing behind, Miss Johnson. She turned around I guess sensing someone standing behind her “HOW CAN YOU LET THIS TO HAPPEN” she glowed in Ryker’s face as if blaming him for us being here.

I scoffed, why would RYKER have any business with us. Ryker’s eyes turned dark purple with red, his eyes never leaving miss Johnson, she started whimpering together with Emalia as they took steps away from Ryker. It feels like Ryker just showed her who is boss when she growled at him but the way he did it is sexy, he didn’t say anything but just commanded with a change of his eyes ‘That was impressive even for me’

“Let us go” Ryker said in a monotone voice staring at me and Maya. We followed him outside the house skipping what happened in there for a minute “What the hell are you doing here” Ryker asked anger evident in his voice

“I don’t owe you any kind of explanation mr. Fox” I replied he doesn’t need to know anything that goes on with what I do. Ryker groaned as he buried his hands in his pants, his face is not blank, it is holding anger.

“She would have killed you if I didn’t arrive in time” he growled standing so close to me that I couldn’t breath his scent intoxicating my senses “You need to stop looking into things that will get you in trouble”

“I am not stopping until I unmask you” he thinks threatening me is going to work here “You might think that you own this world and that your secrets are well hidden but one day you will slip up and I will unmask the real you so that I can send your ass in jail” Ryker’s face didn’t change angering me “I will figure out all your darkest secrets one day”

“What are you searching for?” He asked as if he doesn’t already know what I am searching for “Tell me detective, what are you looking for?”

“Justice”

“Are you sure” ‘yes bitch am sure’ I thought, what else am I searching for “If you were looking for justice you would be out there looking for bad guys and we are on the same side even though we are in different departments, it doesn’t mean we are on different sides”

“I will never believe that until I find out what you’re hiding”

“And what would that be”

“I don’t know Fox but you are starting to slip and my evidence is piling up so wait a little longer maybe we both shall find out” I smirked taking Maya’s hand pulling her back to the car “God, I hate him” I groaned tightening my hold on the steering wheel.

“Well I think I am in love” I glanced at Maya who is staring at Ryker’s car that is leaving in the distance. That is exactly what I said when I saw Ryker for the first time, I mean after hating him.

“What?”

“Didn’t you see him the man is every woman’s wet dream, he is practically a walking god and when he growled, oh shit my pants got wet-”

“I get it” I snapped cutting her off, I don’t care if I sounded rude but it doesn’t matter. I hated the way she was talking about him like that, I don’t have any right to be mad and I know whoever doesn’t have a crush on him is blind and I would bet that even a blind person could fall for a hunk like him, he is every woman’s wet dream and every gay guy’s fantasy.

“Chill man” Maya surrendered “You are gay how come you don’t have a crush him”

“Just because I am gay doesn’t mean I will like every guy plus the guy is not that hot” I scratched my nose telling that lie, biggest lie I have ever told “And the man I find hot is Andrew”

“Well if I am being honest Andrew has nothing on Ryker” bitch you think I haven’t seen the both of them, Ryker is a ninety nine while Andrew is a twenty. The guy is soo hot but so complicated that is why he will never be a one hundred percent “Well since you two know each other maybe you could get in a word for me”

“Ha” I gave a short dry laugh “If you didn’t see that transaction, we hate each other with passion and if anyone is to put in a word for you it will not be me and all I want is to see his ass in jail”

“Before you take him to jail please let me get one Fuck him” in your dreams, I would rather see him behind bars than ever see him sleeping with anyone other than me ‘That sounded possessive’ but do I care no, I don’t because….

HE IS MINE

Tell me what you think in the comments below, don’t forget to vote….

Thank you💕💕

Chapter 17

Why do you want me dead….

“Please set me up with that hunk” Maya has refused to let go of the subject yet it is not fun anymore, I sighed when we reached her house “Okay, I think this will be the last time we see each other”

“Why?”

“I have to get back to college but keep me connected with everything you get plus that hunk set me up”

“Get out” she destroyed the moment now I won’t miss her when she is gone thanks to her obsession with Ryker. How can you catch a criminal if your in love with him, this job is definitely not good for this job.

She chuckled unbuckling her seat belt “don’t forget to call me and tell me everything”

“Okay, bye” I waved at her driving off back home in disappointment, she might have been good company with all this Ryker staff. I will miss her even though I have just known her for a day, she was fun to hung out with plus she is the only one that believes what is happening. On the plus side I have no competition on Ryker.

I need to stop thinking of Ryker as if he is mine, I need to focus on what is in front of me and that is putting him in jail. He is not mine, or will he ever be because he might not be gay plus criminals and officers don’t go well…I hit the brakes when I saw a figure standing in the middle of the road. I focused my eyes and the way she is standing shows she is not looking for help or in danger, she seems like she is angry, I opened the door getting out of the car with my hand on the gun “Miss you okay” I yelled still distancing myself from her. She is breathing so loud that I could hear it from over here, she started taking steps towards me and when I took in her face I pulled out my gun.

She has jet black eyes, veins on her face legs and arms. Her long claws and fangs are out, she looks like Jackson the guy Ryker killed in the ally and the woman miss Johnson. She growled running towards me and I started shooting but the bullets seemed to be bouncing off of her skin. I jumped out of the way when she was ready to rip me apart shooting at her again while dodging her attacks and God bless I don’t get into those punches that are breaking the road, that has to be one hard punch if it could do that.

I ran out of bullets and my chance for survival had to be running, that is exactly what I did, I ran. I took just five steps when I stopped hearing animal sounds behind me which forced me to panic looking around only to find Ryker standing there with his hands in his pockets, are you kidding me “YOU FUCKER” I yelled in anger and disbelief that he has just sent something to kill me “No, no fucking way, you MOTHER FUCKER” I couldn’t hold in my anger.

I stalked over to him my blood boiling and I know I could make ice melt on my skin. I threw a punch at him that he dodged, I threw a kick and another punch and the more he keeps dodging the more angry I feel “what is wrong?” Him acting like he doesn’t know what is going on just angers me more, I punched him again and he caught it, I brought another and he caught it too holding me with my back on his chest.

“Let me go, I want to kill you” I fought him struggling for him to let go of me. He is so warm and comfortable, so peaceful but I am angry.

“I don’t know what your talking about” He denied, I stomped his leg and he let go of me.

“You sent that…that” I just can’t talk with so much anger flowing in me, all I want to do is yell and just kill this guy once and for all, so that his beauty will be forgotten once and for all, he is such a dick “You want to kill me, you sent your thing to finish me off”

“Detective what did I send”

“ARGHHHHHHH” I found myself yelling because it was the only thing that could calm my ranging anger “YOU BASTARD” that kind of calmed me down “Whatever your playing, it is not going to work you asshole” I pushed him out of the way walking away from him to my car, now I have to be more careful since he is making me a target ‘This means I am close to the truth and they want to eliminate me’

I glanced back at Ryker who is still standing in the road with his arms in his pockets. I gave him a middle finger before getting into the car starting it only for it to not start, I tried again and again until it started smoking “It’s a new car come on” I whined raising my hands. I turned it off popping the hood open.

“Need any help” the most sexiest voice is just irritating after the stunt he has pulled on me. I pulled out my phone to call a mechanic to fix my car but just my luck it is dead.

“You’ve got to be kidding me” I yelled banging the hood close turning to Ryker “This is all your fault, you sent your thing to kill me and now my car has stopped working because of your stunt”

“Why do you blame everything on me?”

“Because it is always you, did you come to confirm if I was dead” I argued my voice so high something I don’t think I can get out “Where did you come from and the moment you appear the thing disappears”

“I am not your enemy and if I am honest you have just created an enemy who would want you dead”

“Yeah you” I retorted but a beep cut me off before I could give this fucker a piece of my mind “am so sorry” I forgot I parked in the middle of the road. I took off my jacket moving behind the car to push it out of the way even though I know I can’t do it alone. I glared at Ryker when he started pushing the car getting it out of the road to the side “Who said I needed your help”

He didn’t reply and helped me finish parking the car to the side, I apologized again to the other driver as he drove away “Why do you like yelling so much” I scoffed, as if he doesn’t know why.

“I yell because I hate you and the only thing you do best is irritate me” I replied picking up my staff walking away from him until I  realized he is following me “Why are you following me, go away and plan another way to kill me, this one failed obviously” he still didn’t reply to me but still followed in silence.

I wonder what he is planning to do next, do I need to get the chief of police involved or should I tell Bryan about it so that he can help me out and in case I die he will know who did it. I glanced up at Ryker and he is staring up, his company is not bad when he is not talking. It isn’t awkward but rather calm making me enjoy the journey, on a silent peaceful night.

“Do you see the moon” Ryker suddenly broke the silence, I glanced up looking at the moon “It’s full”

“I can see that” I replied wondering where the fuck this conversation is going when he is pointing out the obvious, he has just told me to look at it and I did, I did see it was full.

“Yeah, but when it is full it is the best nights” I glanced up at Ryker who is staring at the moon, why is it the best, the moon is just full period “The full moon just makes me calm, it gives me hope that whenever is wrong or not going my way I just look at it. It tells me that no matter how many people are competing against me that there will be nights when I shine brighter than all of them, I just have to wait for my time with patience”

“You mean the stars fight the moon” I asked surprisingly intrigued with where this is going

“When it is half, it half shines, it does it’s best but when it is full no one stands against it” Ryker said those words but his face was not blank except it had an emotion that I couldn’t decipher “We are all half our potential but one day we will be full and nothing will ever shine better than us”

In all months I have known Ryker I never took him as the person who could say such words, this has been the most encouraging and calming conversation of my life, how come I didn’t know that. I just never cared about the moon and I feel special that I know this now, I hope I am the first he has told this to, I just want to feel special “I have never looked at it like that before”

“In lonely nights just look up” I nodded bringing my eyes back at the moon and he is right, the moon is full with no stars in the sky whereas if I am right when it is half stars crowd the sky which means….oh this is so good, i glanced at Ryker smiling those were nice words “what do you do when lonely” well I wasn’t expecting this turn.

“And why would you ask?”

“Because I want to know” he replied, we have just had a wonderful moment and he had to ruin it by getting personal. I am the one who is supposed to know him not the other way around.

“I don’t want you to know me” I replied pulling the door open heading up the stairs, glad he got all personal when I have reached home “And why are you still following me” I asked not looking back but I could feel his footsteps behind me.

“I told you mine, it is only fair you tell me yours” I rolled my eyes, I didn’t know that that was about I tell you mine if you tell me yours conversation, I didn’t ask and obviously didn’t agree on it too so no, he is not knowing me when he is still the biggest mystery I have ever encountered in my life, yet I have been in police for years but I just can’t seem to decipher Ryker Fox

“Stop being a pain in the ass” I groaned

“You want me to become pleasure in the ass”

😂😂😂

I couldn’t keep a straight face when I was writing the last part…. Any way please comment your thoughts on this chapter.

Don’t forget to vote 😚😚😚

Chapter 18

Everything is a dream until it becomes a reality….

“You want me to become a pleasure in the ass” I think my ears are not just hearing staff and I have heard what Ryker has just said right. He wants to be a pleasure in the ass, let me hope that is not just a phrase he uses when joking because I wouldn’t want to be joking about something like that, I have yearned to have him in my bed for long and I would definitely love it if he became a pleasure instead of the constant pain he always is.

I glanced up at Ryker to find him already looking at me with all his emotions opened up. He isn’t as blank as he usually is, he is back to being the Ryker I saw on the night of the earth quake the one I connected with so much, the one who cried in front of me holding me like I am the biggest treasure of his life. The one who makes me full, the one who makes me think I know him even though I don’t, I just know he will never hurt me, the one who makes me feel it all, the one who I never want to let go in my life, that is the Ryker I am staring at, the Ryker who shows all his emotions to me without a fear of judgement because he knows I will never judge him.

This is MY Ryker that I love so much, my Ryker who isn’t afraid to show me his weakness like now. He put his hand on my cheek, his touch awakening everything in me, his hand holding me is the safest place I have ever been in “Can I kiss you?” I don’t have to power to reply, I nodded getting on my tip toes as he met me half way attaching our lips in the most loving, desiring kiss I felt myself shaking. We pulled back and glanced into each others eyes, his eyes so full of desire and so much love.

I moved my hand to his cheek, he leaned into my touch with his eyes closed. I moved my head to his shoulder smelling him “You smell so nice” I mumbled not getting enough of him, I want to smell him more I moved so close to him, our bodies close to each other both of us sniffing the other, I moaned his scent filling my entire body “Ryker” I moaned holding him so close his scent driving me to the edge my dick so hard and about to burst “Ryker”

“Cole” I couldn’t hold it in anymore I came into my pants when I heard him say my name in the most sexiest way. My dick got hard again immediately after shooting so many cum in my boxers, I moved from Ryker’s neck as we stared into each other’s eyes again “You are the most handsome, breath taking man I have ever seen in my life” Ryker mumbled his face so close to mine his eyes closed smelling my skin “Your smell….your smell…. you smell so good” he attached our lips again, this time we both opened our mouths, I put my tongue into his mouth and when his tongue connected with mine I felt like I can fly, I moaned so loud wrapping my hands around his waist as his hand are in my neck making my entire body tingly.

“Mmmh” I hummed, electric charges going through my entire body, my body so hot front the kiss that has everything I have ever wanted and more “Oh my God” I chocked out onto his mouth when we broke the kiss to get air in our lungs, I didn’t need air, all I need are those lips to be on mine again. I crashed my lips on Ryker’s again feeling them my body getting hot again, pulling Ryker towards me not wanting to let go of those lips but I need to breath or I will pass out and miss this moment precious moment. I opened my eyes staring at him “come with me” I locked the door taking his hand in mine pulling him up to my bedroom. I got onto the bed and he followed getting in between my legs “Hold me” I just need to o be wrapped in those big hands of him, pull him so close that he is so deep inside my skin, I couldn’t take him out.

He wrapped his hands around me enclosing me whole, I sighed in comfort clinging close to him taking in his scent “Why do you smell so nice?” I had to ask, his scent is too much for me.

“I should be asking you that, you smell so good” he replied sniffing me, we are both addicted to each other’s scents, I moved my head from his chest staring back at him, he is so breath taking. I attached our lips again feeling those lips on mine, our tongues connected and that is the best thing ever, massaging his tongue with mine makes me get weak at the same time stronger than before. I moved my hands unbuttoning his suit jacket, pulling his shirt from his pants before pushing my hands on his well defined abs that I have wanted to touch since the day I developed a crush on him, I knew they were hard and they are. I felt his abs in my hands not breaking the kiss and I felt him shiver at my touch.

His hands moved into my own shirt, I shivered breaking the kiss, getting on top of him as I kissed him again with both my hands into his shirt again feeling him up. His hands moved to pull my shirt off, I wasn’t hesitant like I thought I would be because of my scars, I allowed him to pull off my shirt. I sat up on him, he moved his hands to my scars, he touched every single scar on my belly caressing them one by one “Am so sorry” he apologized and the guilt in his eyes.

“Babe it’s fine” I mumbled taking his face in my hands “That was all in the past, let us build a new chapter for us” I comforted with a smile pecking his lips “By the way nice abs, you must have spent years in the gym”

“I have never gone into the gym”

“If you don’t how do you keep in shape”

“I run alot” I laughed unbuttoning his shirt taking in his abs with my eyes, they are mouth watering, an eight pack from running, I think I should take y that out too.

“I think I might join you in one of your runs”

“Your always welcome” he replies pecking my neck, I bared my neck out to him and he bit down before licking definitely leaving a hickey. I don’t care about being marked as long as it is with him “You taste so good” I smiled.

“Let us taste everything else” I said getting off of him, I unbuttoned my jeans throwing them down. I took off my pantiee before stepping out of them standing there fully naked with my dick hard. Ryker growled making me shiver from where I was standing, he moved off of the bed stalking towards me with his eyes getting a yellow and a red tint in them, he looks like a starved man ready to eat me alive, that I leaked in anticipation my body shivering from his intense look. He reached me carrying me off of the ground like I weigh nothing, putting me back on the bed getting in between my legs kissing me senselessly and breathlessly but still passionately.

His growls continued to make me leak, my dick needs attention. He caressed each and every scar on my body with me moaning uncontrollably. He moved from my stomach his mouth on my dick, without hesitation he took me slowly into his mouth and I ejaculated the minute my tip hit the back of his throat, he didn’t pull out nor did he shock when I shot my load down his throat. He pulled off of my dick when I was done, I pulled his head towards me kissing him hard, that was hot, sexy and over all so good. He groaned as I moaned tasting myself on him, making it taste even better.

I flipped us over pulling his pants down to reveal a minnie Ryker, that is definitely not a minnie. That is a third leg and I can’t wait to feel it inside of me as deep as I know it is gonna get, I moved my mouth to suck him off when he caught my chin making me stare up at him “Don’t do that?”

“Why? You did it to me and I really want to do it”

“There are alot of things you don’t know” he pulled me up “This isn’t the time to know them plus….” He turned my head that his lips are on my ear “I want to be inside of you so bad, would you want that”

“I would love that” I replied kissing him again passionately. He flipped me over that I am laying on my stomach, he got on top of me making me moan feeling his body on me, every things so awake, my body becoming sensitive to his touch. I felt him separate my ass before he started pushing his dick in me, he didn’t prepare me, I expected a lot of pain but all I got was emerse pleasure the more he pushed into me, deeper, his dick stretching my walls like never before the more I moaned louder. He got fully in, pulled out then slammed back in and a loud moan escaped me as I came once again. His dick felt like it was something I needed all my life, there will never be anyone better than him and he fits right with me. I breathed laying down on the bed when my dick got hard again from the feeling of Ryker in me.

“Don’t look at me” he growled holding my head down when I tried looking back at him, is he getting shy or something, we are both completely naked, he has a nice body why would he be getting shy. This feels like he can never look bad in my eyes just like I can never…I moaned when he started thrusting into me hard. All thoughts left my brain, feeling pleasure all over my body that I just can’t help but moan out Ryker’s name, writhe in pleasure looking for something to hold myself. I have never felt like this before, the feeling of getting destroyed but in a good way, my ass being stretched so much.

“Ryker…” I moaned, his power will manage to make me come more than I have in my life. I felt my walls getting stretched again Ryker’s dick getting larger in my ass stretching my walls even more making me moan even louder being pushed to the edge again “I…want to look at YOU” I moaned, I need us to look into each other’s eyes when we come, I want to see his face, I want to connect with him even more.

“You can’t do that today mate” Ryker growled in my ear, that was enough to make me cum screaming out his name coming so much like I haven’t been coming. He groaned cumming inside of me making me remember we didn’t use a condom or lube ‘how the hell didn’t that hurt’ guess he is a professional, he looks hot he has to have slept with a lot of people before. That ruined my mood, why would he sleep with other people, he pulled out of me making me moan getting hard again though my mood made me not want to act on it seeing it in my eyes, Ryker kiss someone else other than me “You seem angry what’s wrong”

I tried turning but he caught me so fast getting behind, holding my hands across my chest with my back on his chest. I laughed at the speed he did that in “You insecure about something” I had to ask, he did that so fast like he is hiding something

“I have a lot to be insecure about when I am with you”

Is he serious, what is there to be insecure about me, he is like the full package, perfect dick, a body to die for, lips that I can kiss forever without ever getting tired of and he says he has a lot to be insecure about with me, I tried turning but his grip was too strong I can’t even move “If your insecure then the world has to look for the new meaning of perfect”

“Your perfect”

“Am like a zero compared to you”

“Don’t ever say that” he said his chin on my shoulder “Your so perfect I envy you, with your brown eyes that hold so much light-” he can’t be serious, hold so much light has he seen my eyes, they are the saddest eyes in the world unless when I am looking at him, he is my light “-i stare at them and I want  be staring in them for the rest of my life, your face is just so gorgeous, your personality pulls me in. When your angry and yell it turns me on so much, your lips, your body was made to make me weak and your ass just makes me not never want to forget about you ever, you just so perfect to me Cole, you mean so much than you will ever know and I am sorry for everything”

“Can I kiss you?” I didn’t know I was crying until my voice cracked sobbing. No one has ever said anything like that to me and coming from him just makes it better, I have always wanted to know what he thinks of me. I want to kiss this man, I want for him to hold me forever.

“Close your eyes” I did without a question, I felt his hand on my chin turning my head. I felt his lips on mine and I melted kissing him back with so much passion and need. This is all I have ever wanted, this is it, this man right here is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, this is the man who just makes me complete that I yearn for nothing other than be with him and him alone.

He is my everything.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, tell me what you think about it in the comments…..

Thank you for reading

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Chapter 19

Sometimes the people we love the most hurt us the most….

I yarned feeling my bed to find it empty and cold “Ryker” I called after being met by an empty room. I sat up expecting pain to shoot through my back but nothing came “Woah he is good” the last time and my first time I had sex I was in pain for a month yet the sex wasn’t even worthy like what I experienced yesterday night. Yesterday it wasn’t sex, it was love making, it was connecting the two people who love each other dearly, feeling each other’s bodies, tasting each other, it was a night to not forget. He even cleaned me, so thought full, I wonder how I didn’t wake up with him cleaning me.

I walked into the bathroom looking for him but I found it empty and dry, I walked downstairs and I remember how we kissed on the door, just the memory makes me hard. A smile plastered my lips remembering how he touched me, held me like I am his one and only. I just want to do it again, feel that again “Ryker” I called and again I was met with silence ‘I guess he had work this early’ he should have left a note behind or woke me up before leaving, we could have had some morning make out before saying goodbye.

I moved into the kitchen making myself some coffee playing some music. I sipped my coffee missing Ryker already, what am I doing here when I could go see him at his work. That idea made me put my cup in the sink running back into my bedroom and into the bathroom when ‘wake me up before you go-go’ came on making me sing along “Wake me up before you go-go, don’t leave me here hanging on like a yo-yo” He should have woke me up, even if I was sleeping, he should have left a note or something to inform me.

Ryker Fox gave me the best night of my entire life where I felt everything, all my senses and emotions waking up. Feeling pleasure at the same time feeling desired and loved, not caring about my scars, kissing them down, loving them, caressing them like he treasure’s them. I felt needed, wanted, desired, loved with every touch. We connected a lot. I finished showering going into my closet and really hating it. Nothing in this closet will make Ryker remember last night, I need something that will remind him of my ass last night so that he can be buried in it again maybe in his office

I searched for the pants Bryan bought me but they are dirty, I didn’t wash them “Argh” I groaned, he will not want me in these grandpa pants but they are the ones I am stuck with for today. I put on a shirt and jeans walking into the mirror “I need some shopping today” I picked up everything with my keys and I know I have to call a tow truck. I didn’t charge my phone but after the events of last night, charging a phone was not even in my mind.

I walked down stairs and the moment I left the building my car was there. I stopped almost not believing my eyes, I pulled out my keys walking over to it, I unlocked the door getting in, I put in the keys praying it works, whoever brought it back better have made it work and it did, I don’t know how it was brought back when I had the keys but still ‘everything is going my way’ I buckled up driving to the CC’s department.

He is gay, he is gay or whatever but he is gay and depending on how hot and gorgeous he is and I am me. How can he sleep with me, he is like sooooo out of my league, I need to claim before he is stolen from me, he is hot and everyone will want him. I got out of the car getting into the CC’s head quarters, going straight to the elevator that took me to Ryker’s floor a smile never leaving my lips even when I looked at his boring floor but my heart was doing flips. I am so nervous to see him, I will definitely want a repeat of last night. I knocked on his door entering before he could tell me to enter “Morning Fox” I greeted staying at the door checking out the beauty and I can’t believe I had THAT in my bed last night, too bad I couldn’t find him in my bed this morning.

I walked over to his side capturing his lips, my lips lingered onto his humming at the feeling that passed through me but he wasn’t responding which made me pull back looking at him confused, he was also looking at me with the same confusion that I am sure I hold “What?” The worry in my voice has to be evident if I heard it too, didn’t he like last night, am I coming onto him too strong, does he need space, he didn’t enjoy as much as I did, all that is making me doubt.

“Detective Relish” why are we back to being formal with each other, he stood up moving away from me and that hurt “Why did you do that?”

“Because of yesterday” I replied obviously

“Because of yesterday what, I am not like gay and I don’t think you should have done that”

“Ha what?” I don’t know what is going on but I am not liking it “Are you having a crisis of self acceptance, everyone goes there you just don’t need to put a label on it”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ryker we don’t need to play whatever game your playing we….” I trailed off something downing onto me “Are you acting like this because you don’t to bring what happened between us at work” I sighed in relief that has to be the reason. On the way we made love last night, he can’t say he doesn’t swing this way even a little “I can understand that” I clicked my tongue pecking his cheek before walking over to the door.

“Detective” I stopped glancing back, he should call me by my name “I still don’t get what you’re saying, what happened?”

“You know…” I moved closer to him whispering “sex” while touching his hand locking our fingers my stomach storming with butterflies, Ryker pulled his hand away “Right not at work” I stepped away understanding.

“I think your mistaking me with someone else”

“What are you talking about?” This is pissing me off and he is acting so distant not like the guy I was with last night who showed me his emotions “You think I wouldn’t remember who I had sex with” Who does he take me as, I don’t go around sleeping with just anybody and not remember them the morning after.

“I don’t think, YOU are mistaking me I wasn’t even in the country last night” Wait what? I don’t even know what I am feeling right now because I am certain I had sex with him last night, I saw his face when he kissed me, he walked me home and we had sex, I smelt him and touched him.

“No, you weren’t out of the country we were together last night whatever game you’re playing right now, I don’t like it and you should stop” I warned hurt, my heart thumping, why is he denying a special night between us.

“It wasn’t me, we didn’t do anything”

“I know what happened” I snapped pushing him back “This thing attacked me then you came and walked me home, we had sex stop whatever this is”

“Could you please keep your voice down”

“No, if you didn’t enjoy our time you should just say so instead of making me feel like a fool who created a romantic night between us” I cried pushing him, that is heartless and he shouldn’t do it “Please stop this” I cried more hugging him my head on his chest but he didn’t hug back, the hug felt cold like a rejection making me to cry more.

“I think you need to go home” he said pushing me out of the hug “Your stressed, go home and-”

“Don’t bullshit me” I yelled again “First accept that you were with me last night, if you don’t want to see me again just say it, don’t deny it”

“I can’t accept what I don’t know and I am sure the guy you had sex with would want to see you again but am sorry it wasn’t me” I punched him in the chest screaming at him to accept what happened “I wasn’t in the city last night”

“Yes you were” I confirmed looking up in his eyes “You were, with me” he sighed moving onto his computer “My car died and you told me things about the moon, you were with me, if it wasn’t enjoyable just say so”

“See, this is me getting on the plane to toronto, I boarded a flight right after our interaction at Miss. Johnson’s house, I didn’t come back till this morning” That is not true he forged that.

“That is not true” I denied walking away from his computer feeling my head start to spin and about to burst feeling dizzy “I know what happened” I cried out not caring that my head hurts my entire body feeling like it is on fire, I can’t breathe, something is in my throat and it isn’t letting me breath, I tried coughing but all I am doing is shocking ‘It didn’t happen’ ‘No one will ever love you’ ‘Your creating things in your head’ ‘he doesn’t want you’ ‘Your worthless’ No I am not, I tried saying but I can’t, my throat is clogged by Something. I cried trying to get the voices out of my head I know what happened, I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED I yelled in my head, crying crawling, the voices getting louder and louder.

“It happened” I cried, my head so heavy, the room started spinning before the world turned dark.

What is going on, did it happen or did it not happen….tell me your thoughts in the comment section and please be respectful

Thank you.

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Chapter 20

It is so easy to hit rock bottom, it is very hard picking yourself up, only a warrior can fight to get back up and fight the demons….

I was out for a day and a half and when I woke up I felt so many emotions that I don’t know how to describe them but right not I feel stupid, embarrassed, angry, hate for myself, disgusted by myself, shame, sad, pity and all towards me but most of all I feel crazy and I have admitted that I need help. I need professional help right away before it gets worse than what it already is “Hey, everything will be fine just know I will be here” Bryan said getting  off of his chair, sitting on the bed “Just know this is not the end”

“Thank you” he doesn’t know it is the end, tears streamed down my cheeks pulling him into a hug that I really needed. When I passed out I was brought to the hospital I don’t know by who but when I woke up Bryan was here by my side and I confessed to him, it was hard confessing my problem to him but I did it. It has been the biggest struggle of my life,  I needed to be admitted, I have fought so much to not go into the place again but it looks like I have to, I just hope it is not too late for me, in just a few hours I will be taken to Dr. Walker’s institution where I got help when I was young.

I am scared that I am going to lose everything but I have already lost everything, what is left is me and if I don’t get help I might lose that too “Can you do me a favor”

“Anything”

“Can you tell Ryker that I need to speak to him before I leave” I need to apologize for the position I put him in.

“Okay” Bryan agreed, I nodded sleeping back in the bed “Just know I will be here for you and I will not get another partner until you get back”

“Thanks” Bryan walked out and the moment the door closed tears just uncontrollable streamed down my cheeks. All of this would have happened, the episodes would have happened and I was willing to go through the pain I went through when I was young except for this. Making up situations, someone’s touch like that so real just proves my situation is worse than I thought it was.

I am disgusted by myself for making up something like that, thinking I would ever get a chance to sleep with Ryker which is impossible even in my dreams. How could he have touched the disgusting me, I should have known better than embarrass myself like that. He will never be with me, no one will ever be with me because I am worthless and no one is willing to stay with a mentally unstable person like me ever, I should stop being delusional and start accepting the truth of my reality.

The dream I lived in that night was all an illusion, Ryker never looked at me like that ‘Why does this hurt do much’ my heat hurts more than anything else, I feel rejected like my life is over and I will have no where left to hide. That illusion created the best night of my life and I know it will always stay with me wherever I go.

Andrew ghosted me just like that ever since our date, he couldn’t even wait a week…. I should stop feeling pity for myself, I deserve this in some way. A knock sounded on the door, I sniffed wiping my face as I said come in, Ryker walked in and just looking at him I should laugh at myself for thinking that he would ever want to sleep with me “Hi” I said pulling myself into a sitting position “Please have a seat”

“How are you feeling?” He asked taking a sit next to my bed.

“I will be fine” I replied with hope, I feel so embarrassed I can’t look him in the eye after what I said and did, I kissed him and I bet he was repulsed by me even though I can’t read that on his blank face “Am sorry” I apologized sniffing trying to control my tears “I feel….I feel so embarrassed for what I did. Am sorry for kissing you, I shouldn’t have done that and I know it disgusted you, I should have known it was in my head I….” I couldn’t control my tears from streaming down my cheek, I wiped them away in a hurry breathing through my mouth “It wasn’t my intention to do that, I am deeply sorry and before you say anything I am seeking professional help, I will understand if you want to stay as far away from me just please forgive me…..I-”

“You don’t need to apologize”

“I do, I shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that, straight guys hate that and I am sorry for doing it, for creating a night between- ah….”

“Stop apologizing, it happens to alot of us”

“No way, I don’t think it can happen to you” it has to happen to people like me, who already have nothing. People like Ryker have it all “Am so embarrassed”

“It’s fine ,which hospital are you going to?”

“Oh-ah Walker institution” I was shocked he asked

“I will come and visit you sometime” My heart stopped, is he serious, after what I did he wants us to keep on talking or is he just being nice to me because he knows I am sick.

“You don’t need to” I replied even though deep down I would want him to come, I also don’t want him to ruin his day to come visit me, he is a busy man and he has alot of things to do instead of coming to the hospital to visit me after what I did, he should be repulsed.

“I don’t need to but I want to and I will be there” I smiled nodding, he brightens my day ‘You will never have him’ I closed my eyes, this is getting too much “I have to leave, quick recovery”

“Oh let me not hold you here, thanks for coming and I am so sorry” he nodded walking to the door, my eyes lingered to the door even though he had already left, why fall for someone who can never he mine. I fell back on the bed closing my eyes, smelling where he has been sitting and it smells like him, just like he smelled on our night together in my illusion. I must have fallen asleep smelling Ryker’s scent because I was woken up by Bryan telling me it’s time to go to the hospital.

I nodded walking into the bathroom changing out of the hospital gown into my own clothes, a jean and a sweater. In a few minutes we were in the car driving to the hospital where I will be spending years, the last time I spent in this place two years, how many more am I going to spend here this time. I feel so nervous and anxious, I always told myself I would do anything to never be admitted to this hospital again but I guess we sometimes can’t fight the inevitable and we can never prevent some staff as they are out of our control.

I have tried ignoring the small signs until it was too bad for me, I don’t know how long I will be here but it will all not matter unless I leave this place fine and safe and ready to start my future I just hope it will not be in my thirties. Bryan stopped the car outside the institute, he was about to unbuckle his seat belt but I stopped him “Am thankful for all you have done but I think I have it from here”

“Are you sure, it is no bother” I nodded sure, I tried smiling to comfort him but my nerves got the best of me “Okay, I will come see you and don’t forget to call if you need anything” I hugged him before getting out of the car. I took a few scared steps to the hospital, my shaking legs telling me to run but if I do that, what will my mind make up this time. I breathed hard making my way inside when a black car on the side of the road caught my attention, I felt a cold shiver run down my spine and not in a good way ‘I don’t need to get paranoid now’ I sighed giving it one look getting inside to the receptionist.

“ Hey, Am Cole Relish, Dr. Walker is expecting me“

“Give me a second” she said glancing at her computer as I pulled on my sweater covering up my trembling fingers while looking around. I feel like I am going to cry and I want to back out feeling like I made a rush decision that maybe I just need a therapist “Sign here please” I looked at what she gave me and with my blurry eyes I couldn’t read anything so I just signed “Come with me, dr. Walker will see you tomorrow” I nodded following her slowly seeing other patients wearing white clothes with doctors being taken somewhere.

I looked back to where I am going until we reached a room “A nurse is going to come check up on you tonight, this is where you will have to stay for now until Dr. Walker comes “ I nodded getting inside the tiny room with a single bed that has a white blanket and a pillow, it’s walls are painted white with a small window and a toilet, the lock of the door brought me back to my senses as reality sunk in.

I moved to the bed lifting the covers up, getting inside as tears streamed down freely ‘i hate it here already’

Why is all of this happening to me?

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Chapter 21

Mind of a prison👆👆

“What happened Cole?” Dr. Walker asked with me struggling with my binds trying to get free, I have just tried to escape a few minutes ago. It has been two days and I can’t take it, I feel like I have been living here for two years, I need to leave, I feel so damn alone and being here is making it worse.

“I want to leave” I cried fighting the binds “I-i hate it here, I am not crazy I swear I just need to leave, let me go”

“Cole, I am here with you and if you want to get better you need to calm down” I just continued to thrust crying and yelling out to them to let me go. He pulled out a syringe, I tried to move away but he caught my hand injecting it in my arm with me trying to fight them so that they can let me go. The medicine got into my body calming me down, I felt so calm but the forced calm, my eyes became heavy and no matter how I fought for them to not close the did.

I woke up, my hands and legs still restricted, my head feels so heavy to move, my eyes still heavy. Tears streamed down my ear with me staring at the wall, I don’t know how I became like this. I don’t see any hope of me ever getting well even though I haven’t heard the voice or seen things that aren’t there, the only thing I got so bad are the voices in my head, they are more aggressive than that voice I used to get.

“Cole” I heard the doctor calling me but I don’t have the energy to turn my head and look at him “I thought that maybe you needed to see a common face, I got you a visitor” a hand touched my hand and the tingles that passed through me are caused by only one person. I fought with my heavy head to turn it and what I thought it is true, Ryker is here.

“Ry…” I trailed off my voice heavy, my lips so dry but I need him near me so bad. He pulled a chair getting closer to me and I didn’t feel lonely, I forgot where I am comfort taking over.

“Does he need to be tied” Ryker asked

“He tried to escape, I can’t let him go before I am certain he won’t do something to himself” I am not suicidal, he is just exaggerating my escape to me being harmful to myself, why would I need to kill myself when Ryker is here, the worry in Ryker’s face gave me comfort, he cares the man I love cares about me “I will leave you two alone”

“How are you feeling?” Ryker asked wiping away a tear I didn’t know escaped , I leaned into his touch closing my eyes so peaceful “Cole”

“I-” I cleared my heavy throat, Ryker’s hands were off or me making me lose the touch, panic that he is gone leaving me here again. He brought a glass of water to my lips and all the panic dissppeared, I took a sip my eyes never leaving his, he put the cup back holding my hand again “I like the way you say my name” I said, he has never called me by my name, always detective or Relish.

The sadness in his eyes blew me off “Am sorry” he apologized

“No, no none of this is your fault” I comforted him, I need to hug him but my hands are tied and I can’t “Please tell me your real and I am not making you up”

“I am here for real this time” I smiled, at least I tried but I know it came out as a grimace “I need to leave, I will see you next time” No, please don’t go away, don’t leave me alone, he got up walking to the door.

“Fox” I called and he stopped turning back to me ‘your not worth his time’ I blinked my tears “I wanted to thank you for coming” I said instead, I wanted him to stay for awhile with me but no, he has to go. People have lives outside these walls, I should not waste anyone’s time with my useless stuck life.

The moment he left the room I felt like my heart was being torn into pieces. I needed him to come back to me, I need him with me, by my side ‘he will never be by your side’ ‘why would he want to be with you’ ‘he can get anyone he wants’ ‘your just a loser with a fucked up life’ ‘your not going anywhere’ ’this is your home ‘it has always been your home’

“No, stop it” I cried fighting to set my hands free to get the voices out but nothing is working. My tears coated my face with me thrusting to be set free until my body gave out of fighting. My eyes watered on their own when three nurses entered, one with a syringe, one with a tray of food and the other is holding nothing.

“I am going to untie you, don’t try anything” the nurse untied me even when I didn’t reply, she helped me sit up putting a pillow behind my back. The nurse with the tray brought my food to me, I picked up my fork having no appetite for food and their stares make it worse for me to eat this tasteless food. I tried eating as much as I can and when I said I was done I was glad they didn’t force me to eat more, she handed me my pills and a cup of water, I threw the pills in drowning them down with water. She checked my mouth if they are still in before they walked out without tying me again.

I was glad they didn’t tie me up again as I curled up on bed staring outside the window to the moon. I remembered what Ryker told me or should I say made up, my brain is so manipulative that it made up such a story, though the moon is half this time. I might have just made up the story but I still remember it as Ryker who said it to me but was he right.

Can I one day outshine all those stars or will I be swallowed up in this deep hole with no return, I am I savable…..

Or is it over for me

Tell me what you think in the comments and thank you for reading.

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Chapter 22

This chapter will contain suicidal thoughts, don’t read if your can get triggered

Pains attacks us the most when we have never felt genuine happiness…

A weight has been crushing my chest and it is too heavy to lift. I don’t have control over everything anymore, my emotions are out of control but at the same time in control and my brain is the worst part of it all. I feel dull, helpless, unable to move, breathing is getting hard by each passing minute.

Only breathing is hurtful, I am scared that I am never going to leave this place, I am scared that my life is going to be like this forever. I don’t feel anything, I am so numb and all I want to do is sleep, sleep is my new escape. Sleep helps me leave this world behind, sleep helps me not feel anything, not feel pain, sleep helps me not to over think, it puts my brain at rest, it shows me how it will feel like when I am dead.

I don’t want to live anymore, I don’t want to live if I am going to be living like this, always so tired, so lonely. I have been so used to being alone in life, I have been so used to no body being around for me for years before I met Bryan but now I feel like I need someone to be with me, someone who will understand me, someone who will save me from drowning, I want to breath again, I want to stop being suffocated, I want to feel okay, I want to feel anything other than pain, numbness, emptiness, worthlessness, like a failure.

I want to be happy but no matter how much I try I just feel tired, I feel tired that I want to sleep and when I sleep I expect to feel fine when I wake up but I feel worse and I want to sleep again so that I feel better when I wake up next. It is not working, nothing is working, the medicines they are giving me Are not working, socializing is not working. I want to be alone in my bed and I can’t find the power to do any activity, this place is making me sink, it is sinking me to the point of not coming back.

I don’t see a future, I see nothing beyond this dark tunnel I am in. Sometimes I want to go back to the times when I was young, the times when I had my parents, a time when I was still normal, a time when I wasn’t in constant pain, when I wasn’t trapped in this body, I want to be set free. Everytime I fall a sleep all I want is to sleep forever and not wake up, I am tired of feeling shitty and sleeping forever will stop all of this torture, it will help put my mind to rest.

I don’t deserve to live when no one wants me, no one will care if I am not in this world, no one will miss me, I was never meant for this world, this world hates me, everything happened to me, all happiness vanishes right before my eyes, after years of fighting to build myself up, throwing my painful past out and leaving it all behind my future caught up with me. Having a wonderful night only for it to be a lie because my stupid brain made it all up, no one has ever wanted me, now I blame my parents less for leaving, who would want to deal with this.

I stopped crying my first week here, now all I do is lay in bed and stare at the wall wanting to cry but then I am completely numb and there is no single tear that leaves my eyes…“Come on get up” I moved my eyes to the voice and it is a nurse one that I have noticed hates me, I don’t know his reasons but how can he not hate me. I fought with my exhausted body that has been in bed all day, I got up and he led me to Walker’s office. I took a seat lifting my legs up so that they are on my chest staring at the wall

“Cole” Dr. Walker called, I moved my head to stare at him “How are you feeling?” I don’t know how I am feeling too. How can I explain what I am feeling if I don’t know it too. All I know is it is bad and I hate this life, I have no need to get back in the world anymore, I have no need to work again, all I want is to sleep so I gave a nod as my reply “I have heard you don’t want to eat” I shrugged, food is just not doing it for me. I feel like I am punishing myself more when I put one fork in my mouth “Can you describe how you are feeling in your own words”

“Bad” I replied but that word describes only a quarter of how I feel inside, what is he going to do if I tell him how I really feel, is he going to add medicine to my already hundreds that I am taking that are doing absolutely nothing. They are only bringing voices in my head reminding me of how worthless I feel and how alone this place has managed to make me, making me wish I was dead. It has managed to drive me to complete numbness, it has managed to get me into a place that I feel trapped in and alone, I see no way out. The only way out is being dead but I am still also scared of dying, what if I do it and I fail, I will have to live with that for the rest of my miserable life.

I miss the voice I used to have, it was better than the voices I am currently having. The voice was never hurtful, it sounded like it needed help, sometimes I feel like calling out to it and maybe it can help me from this feeling “You need to talk to me Cole”

“I need to sleep” that is the only thing I need, to sleep all day or night or forever I wouldn’t mind.

“You need to start socializing and opening up to me about how you feel, this shell your putting yourself into is only going to sink you”

“What if I want to sink?” I asked “What if that is the only way I can be fine, by sinking and not coming back out. What if what I really want is for all the air inside my lungs to get out so that I can feel no pain when I breathe because I won’t need to breath ever again. What if what is left for me is not talking or socializing or medicine, what if what is left for me is death” I said glaring at him “You can never understand me, you just want me to open up so that you can add me your stupid medicine that are not helping but giving me voices that remind me how much of a failure I am, of how worthless I am, of how unloving, uncared for I am. Is that what you want to know-”

“Cole calm down and let us talk, they are just voices they mean nothing”

“You mean they are right” I corrected “Look at me, do you think I have any future from this, do you know how much I am sinking, getting suffocated, staring at the future I don’t have, the dark world I am in, this is my world doctor and I need to just end it to feel free, to have accomplished something in my life”

“Stop this-”

“Don’t tell me to stop” I yelled getting up “You wanted to know how I feel, this is how I feel and if you really need to help me you should just kill me or give me something I will finish the damn job”

“I can’t let you do that”

“If you cared you would” I said glaring at him “But no one cares, my feeling are mine to feel, your just thinking I am being irrational because you can never understand me. You don’t care, no one has ever done, no one has ever cared, you sit here asking me to talk to you but when it gets too much you have no solution for me….no get away from me” I said to the nurses who have entered with a syringe “Get away from me, don’t touch me, do….ARGH” I yelled fighting them off but they are too powerful than my already exhausted body.

My body was taken into calmness and heaviness, my eyes became blurry as darkness took over with one thing in mind.

‘No one cares’

This was a sad chapter, my Cole is breaking in here….tell me your thoughts in the comment section and please don’t forget to vote.

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Chapter 23

Stop expecting people to help you or care for you. YOU better start caring about yourself, loving yourself and you will win battles you once thought were too big for you….

My life is just so shitty and I get tired of it each and every day. Ever since that day in Dr. Walker’s office I have been watched like a hawk just in case I try to finish what I said I would do, honestly I have no plan in doing anything because that will also take too much time and I have none of that, all the time I have is to lay in this bed and just feel shitty with each passing day “Get up and eat” I pulled myself into a sitting position, the nurse put the tray on my lap.

They brought a bowl of soup today, I hate eating and lord help me to not throw up, I tend to do that a lot now days. I picked up the spoon bringing it up and the moment it reached my tongue I wanted to throw up, I jumped off of the bed throwing the bowl on the floor breaking it into pieces as I threw up all the contents in my stomach. I heaved sitting next to the toilet wiping my lips with the back of my hand, I heaved more and when I looked at the soup on the floor I threw up again emptying my belly “You shit, look at the mess you have made” I heard the nurse say but I was still throwing up.

I flashed, got to the sink and thoroughly rinsed my mouth when the nurse came back in with a mop and a bucket full of water “Clean your mess up” he said pushing the mop and the bucket towards me. I squat down picking up the glasses from the floor throwing them into the bin one by one with him standing next to the door glaring at me as if I am wasting his time. I have no time to figure out why this guy hates me but I know one thing, if he doesn’t like me then he should maybe care for another patient than me, because honestly i don’t need him too. I was still picking up the broken pieces when the door opened. My eyes moved to the nurse who ran over to my side taking the rag into his hands. I looked up at the door to find Ryker and Dr. Walker standing there staring down at me with confusion in their eyes but my eyes were on Ryker.

He looks so hot, it has been so long since I last saw him and this is the first time I could breath without feeling pain. I stared into his purple eyes that I missed so much, I didn’t know I missed him this much until now. My life came alive, my dark world suddenly saw some light, the person I have been yearning for. The light, my reason to fight is in front of me, my heart ached when I saw anger flash his purple eyes.

‘He hates me’ I thought, my life crumbling right in front of me again. Ryker hates me “Cole your hurting yourself” dr. Walker said running over to me, I glanced at what he is saying to find I have squeezed a glass in my hands and it has cut through my palm but I feel nothing, no pain no sting, nothing, the only thing that hurts is the way Ryker has looked at me. My eyes moved back to Ryker who was closer to me now and he has worry in his eyes ‘he doesn’t hate me’ I thought when he carried me up and back to the bed. Those few seconds in his hands felt like a life time, I didn’t want him to let go that even when he rested me back down I held his hand to keep him closer.

I want him so close to me, I stared into his eyes the world around us fading. He is my light, the person I need “Don’t leave” I said clinging to his hand fighting to get my other arm to hold him closer so that he doesn’t leave me again this time.

“Cole don’t move your hand” dr. Walker said pinning my hand down but I don’t need it there I need to hold Ryker so that he doesn’t leave.

“Cole I am here and I am not going anywhere” Ryker comforted making me sigh in relief, he isn’t leaving me again.

“I am done, I will go get him some pain killers, Tony come with me” dr. Walker said and I heard the door open but my eyes never left Ryker’s face. I whined when Ryker pulled his hand from mine so fast, it all happened so fast and the next thing I hear are cries of pain. Ryker punched the nurse so hard that he went crumbling down holding his face. That is the hardest punch I have ever seen in my entire life, Ryker knocked out his teeth and broke his nose.

“I will be dealing with him later” Ryker’s tone was venomous and that just turned me on, I have never seen him this livid like he is right now that his eyes are pure red. Dr. Walker walked over to the nurse pulling him up before taking him out of the room leaving me and Ryker alone “Am sorry about him” he apologized pulling up a seat, seating next to me “How are you feeling?”

“Better now that your here” I replied holding him more.

“Dr. Walker told me about your last session with him”

“Is he supposed to talk about it?” I asked, I thought they had to be private and no one can know about them.

“First tell me why you feel like that, what happened?”

“Everything is wrong” I replied, nothing is good in this place “I am being reminded of everything I lost, what I am and where I am going and that is nowhere, I am just….I wish to die because I can’t take it anymore, I feel dead inside, like I have lost it all and there is nothing else left for me, I-”

“What would make you not feel like that?”

“I am not feeling it right now” I replied honestly, he is here and I feel fine than I have been feeling these couple of weeks, I don’t feel like sleeping. The moment he arrived I felt good right away “Your here now and I don’t feel it”

“Will you feel better if I am around” I nodded instantly “Will you eat something” I nodded again

“Aren’t you going to leave?”

“I will” I felt sad my mood dying down, he took my head to make me stare at him “I will be coming in each and everyday to see you, if you promise to try and be fine okay” I nodded my mode lightening up, if he is to come here everyday my life will not be dark, at least the moments when he is around I will have some light and something to live for “Okay your food is here”

“Where?” I asked not seeing anything, a nurse opened the door coming in with a tray of food, I pulled myself into a sitting position as she put the food on my lap. My appetite is back and I feel so hungry now, I picked up my spoon but hissed letting it go. I forget that I hurt my hand earlier.

“Get him some pain killers” Ryker ordered taking the spoon from my left hand. He took the bowl from my lap, he lifted up a full spoon ful of soup to my mouth and my face heated up “Open your mouth”

“I can do it” I mumbled hiding my face, this is embarrassing.

“You promised to eat something” I glanced back at him, I did but him feeding me just seems like a disturbance and I feel like I am asking for so much. I opened my mouth and he put the spoon in, feeding me.

“Am I not disturbing you?” I had to make sure

“ Of course not, why would you be, come on open up“ I did and he fed me the entire bowl with me stealing glanced at him from time to time not believing that I am being fed by Ryker “How do you feel now?”

“Full” I replied touching my belly, it has been long since I ate and became satisfied like I am in this moment.

“Will you be fine until I come back” my mood died but I nodded yes, he can’t be here I know but it still doesn’t change the fact that I want him here with me. I wish I can get hours with him, only us living a life together somewhere no one knows, I know my life will be brighter than anything else

“At what time are you coming tomorrow”

“I don’t know I will see, just know I will be here okay”

“Yeah, thanks” I replied holding the mattress so hard as he got up, kissed my forehead before leaving and the moment he walked out of the door I was sad again and this time I cried feeling so alone again, getting into the darkness. The darkness is all I see again, my breathing hurts and I wanted to just end everything, this temporary happiness I hate it, I can’t live with this hurt all the damn time.

I got up walked over the bin, I picked out a glass putting it on my wrist. I want to finish it, I want to end everything, if I can’t be happy then I won’t live like this. My eyes became blurry as I put that glass on my wrist “you promised to be fine for me” I remembered Ryker’s words “ARGHHHHHHH” I yelled throwing it into the wall.

“Why does he want me to keep holding on?”

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Chapter 24

attempt suicide in this chapter please skip if you can get triggered

Disappointment from the person you trusted can break you to no return…..

I paced all around the lobby too anxious to sit as I wait for Ryker. Since last night when I thought about killing myself because Ryker left me torn and in pieces, the thought of him coming to see me kept me from doing something bad. I didn’t want him to come only to find me dead, I promised to be fine and he promised to come and see me. I decided to wait, if he is willing to come see me everyday, I won’t mind that little happiness because it means the world when he is around and I will keep on wishing for that happiness again, to feel him next to me but it has been a full day and I haven’t see him, we are about to be sent to bed and he hasn’t come to see me yet. I am scared he won’t come but then again he promised he will be here, I have to believe in him.

Maybe he is caught up with something, I just have to be patient, he will come to see me again today he promised, I kept my part and he will keep his part too “Cole, you need to finish this food”

“My friend is coming he will help me” I replied staring at the door waiting for him to step into the building, I have lost my appetite again and I don’t even want to look at my food if he isn’t here.

“You need to finish this food”

“Leave me alone, I told you I am waiting for someone” I snapped pulling my hand from her, she should stop pestering me about food, I told her I am waiting for someone and she should just get over it once and for all. I made my way close to the door and nurses came my way holding me in place “Let me go, I have to wait for Ryker, he is coming” I tried not to fight them, I am not doing anything wrong I am just waiting for Ryker to come visit.

“We need to take you back to your room, it’s time for bed”

“No it’s not, I still have some minutes, my friend is coming just give me a few minutes he promised, please” I begged tears streaming down my face, my head jumping from the door to them but the fought me taking me back to my room “No, he is coming he needs to find me there” I cried but the weren’t listening to me as they took me back to my room “Please” I fought trying to get out and go back.

“If he comes we will let him in” one of the nurse said, I nodded giving up the fight as I entered my room calmly waiting for Ryker. I sat in my bed with my eyes on the door waiting for him to come through the door but for the entire night…..

He didn’t come, he didn’t come and it is already morning. I sat on the bed with my knees on my chest tears falling down my face uncontrollably, I feel betrayed and lied to. I have been through alot and the last person who I thought cared enough about my being has just threw me under the bus without a care but what did I expect when no one has ever cared, why would he be the first one to care. This…. This hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me because I love him, I love him more than anything and he has just left me alone too. He broke his promise, he didn’t come, he didn’t come to see me now I am all alone. I wiped away my tears, got off of the bed to the bin pulling out one of the glasses I threw in and without hesitation I cut my right wrist, I didn’t feel any pain as I moved to my other wrist cutting down too.

‘i will nolonger get rejected, I will nolonger feel pain, I will never be disappointed, I will never be scared. I am going to be free where I am going’ Blood flowed down both my wrists and I waited for the moment I take my last breath. My vision blurred and I felt myself slip away, I stopped feeling my legs, my hands feel limp beside me and I am waiting for the moment, I already feel fine. No one will miss me, I am tired of waiting for happiness that will only be temporary until the next time it disappears, I see darkness all around me everytime, the only light has left me with nothing and now I am letting all go, I will never feel pain……

A beep, a beep woke me up making me squint my eyes at the light in my face. I opened my eyes slowly light shining into them, I blinked focusing on the spinning room as everything came into focus “Hey” I glanced to my side to find both Ryker and Bryan standing above me, staring down at me “How are you feeling?” Ryker asked

I looked down at my wrists to find them bandaged up. It didn’t work, it didn’t work tears just streamed down my face “Cole what is wrong?” I don’t know who asked but I didn’t reply, I tried pulling the IV’s out of my hand in anger, why didn’t it work, I wanted it to work. I thought it worked, I thought I will run away from all of this “Cole stop, go get a doctor” Ryker held both my hands.

“Let me go, don’t touch me” I yelled in anger, the doctor walked in injecting something into my tubes as I glared at Ryker, I hate him so much. Why is he here when he couldn’t come to see me, does he need me when I am crying or in pain “You broke your promise, I want you to leave” I said calming down. He let go of my hands and I couldn’t lift them as my body is calm.

“That will calm him down but don’t stress him out, I will be back to do some more check ups” the doctor said but I was glaring at Ryker without taking my eyes off of him.

“Hey” Bryan called from my other side and I turned to him “It’s okay-”

“I don’t want to see anyone, just leave like you decided to do. I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone anymore just get out” I replied cutting him off, when was the last time he came in the hospital to see me, those were weeks now he is telling me he is okay. I tried moving my hands but they feel stuck and I can’t move them, my head moved around seeing all the tools I could use and this time I will make sure not to fail

“We are here-”

“Can you send that tray over” I asked staring at Bryan, he glanced behind him and he pointed at it “Yes send the knife, the sharpest one” he looked at me as I he can’t understand me before his eyes moved to Ryker “Just send the goddamn knife so I can end this, now send it over”

“Bryan could you give us a second” Ryker said

“First send the knife” I said when I saw him walking to the door but he went out before sending the knife my way, bitch I will do this myself. I tried getting off of the bed with my weak body but the more I pulled myself the more I felt my legs again.

“Cole-”

“If you knew something it would be that I don’t want to see you” I moved my eyes to him when my body gave out and I couldn’t move “Just go and do what you have to do and leave me alone”

“Am sorry-”

“For what” I asked cutting him off “I don’t care what you think, I don’t care about anything. I don’t give a fuck about your apologies because guess what, I don’t care. I don’t honesty, do you think I care, no I don’t, all I want is for you to send that knife over so that I can make a decision, the only decision I have to end it all. Everyone will be happy when I am gone but mostly I will be free of all of you and especially you, now be useful and send that knife over or be as useless as you have been and walk the fuck out because that is the best thing you know how to do”

“I care Co-” I scoffed falling back down on the bed closing my eyes, cutting out all that he has to say because I don’t give a fuck.

If I have to live in the darkness then it is fine, he should just stop coming to see me and go live his life like he wants to do. I am not going to be a last thought in people’s minds, I would rather be alone so that I know that no one cares than have people who don’t care but act like it they do, I don’t want to ever be disappointed in my life ever again, wait for someone who promised to visit only for them to not show up. Getting my hopes up, believing I can live for him, believing I can stop all the feelings for him, believing I found someone who might care for me just as much as I care only for all of it to be pretence.

They can both go back to their nice life and leave me alone, I don’t need anybody like I have never needed anyone before in my life.

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Chapter 25

Life is a rollercoaster, you will yell, get scared, cry but a brave person will end up feeling happy for having that experience because they make us who we are….

“Cole you have to talk to me” Dr Walker asked, I am still in the hospital getting my wounds treated after that attempt to kill myself that failed. Walker has been doing his sessions here in the hospital but like I have been doing in the past few days, I haven’t uttered a single word to anyone.

They all disgust me to the core, now they are all coming to visit me each and every day as if they care, as if they ever cared. What if I died in that attempt huh, they would have cried on my grave and say how I didn’t deserve to die while when I was alive no one cared enough to come save me. No one cared enough to come visit but they pretend to care now that I tried killing myself and I know they think I did it for attention, to get them to visit, little do they know I did it so that I can never see their faces ever again.

They only care when it is a life and death situation but not when I feel like dying. Then they won’t give a fuck about it, I rolled in my bed covering my head to show Walker I am in no mood to talk to anyone and whoever wants to come in either Bryan or Ryker they should all Fuck off and let me sleep in peace. I hate this world so much as everyone is a hypocrite, Ryker had the nerve to tell me that he was busy but now that I almost died he isn’t too busy like he said to come visit me every day, he does it now, I don’t know if he saw this as a real, if he knew that I felt bad enough to want to kill myself but whatever it is I don’t want him anywhere near me.

Even when he visits I ignore him all together, I would rather lock myself up than look at him one more time. I heard footsteps going out and the moment he closed the door I threw the covers off of my body getting off of the bed and stepping into my slippers. I pulled the IV’s out with a hiss before making my way to the door only to find someone already standing there. We both stared at each other, he is so tall just like Ryker with blond hair and really bright blue eyes “Excuse me” I tried passing him to leave but he caught my hand into his “Let me go”

“You are Cole” he asked and I shook my head no trying to pull my hand out of his hold “Yes you are”

“Why ask if you know let me-” he back slapped me sending me down on the ground. I held my cheek spitting out blood. I looked back up at him and I was ready to fight, how dare he slap me like that. I pushed myself back when I saw his eyes turning black “Who are you? What do you want from me?” I asked pushing myself back.

“The person who has been wanting to kill you” he said in a threatening tone his eyes turning black his veins appearing all over his face “I can’t wait to feed on you” his voice, if my bladder was full I would have peed myself at the animalistic scary voice that escaped him. It sounded like the voice I used to have in my head but that voice had something gentle than this one. I pushed myself further away from him as he stalked towards me, I pulled off my slipper throwing it at him, it was enough to distruct him as I bolted down the hall yelling for someone to help me.

He was just walking behind me and I was too weak to run that I fell down and I started crawling getting into an elevator. I closed it and the moment he reached it was closed, I sighed holding my chest as the elevator descended down, a bang from above scared me, something started banging from up and I could see the metal bending in “No, no” I tried opening the elevator so that I could get out before he could come in and trap me in here. It banged again and this time the elevator stopped as his hand passed through. I pressed the button for the elevator to open as the guy pulled open the roof, he smirked down at me with his sharp fangs and gladly the doors opened allowing me to run out taking the stairs running down while glancing up to see if he is following me but I can’t see him.

I kept running down until I reached the first floor yelling for someone to help me but no one seemed to be around yet it is a hospital. I ran to the door but it is locked trapping me in “Help me, someone” I yelled  when the guy appeared in front of me. He growled and I picked up the broom that was close pointing it at him “Stay back” he caught the broom throwing it away from my hands right before coming into my face holding my jaw so highly with his claws getting into my skin. I cried out in pain when his hand squeezed my jaw in a very painful way.

“Such a human, why would they give him you” his tone made me shiver both in disgust and fear of getting murdered. Surprisingly after trying to kill myself I don’t want to die and not with an animal like this.

I kicked him in the nuts hoping it would hurt and he would at least let me go but he didn’t even look fazed ‘doesn’t he have balls’ I thought wondering when a hard punch met my stomach, I couldn’t breath, I think he rearranged my insides. He back handed me throwing me into the tables, I groaned as pain shot through my entire body. I tried getting up when he stalked close to me again but my weak beat body just wasn’t having it. A growl made me look to my left seeing Ryker come towards us and after days of not wanting to see him, I have never felt this happy to see him “Fox” I called

“This is not over Fox”  the guy growled right before he passed through the door disappearing. Ryker growled after the guy but didn’t follow, instead he walked over to me picking me up and without a word he took me back up to my room.

“I want to leave” I said when he laid me down in bed, he gave me one glance before picking up some cotton looking at my jaw “did you hear me I want to leave” I snapped slapping his hand away from my bleeding face.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere, I just want to be alone and I am tired of this place, of you, of everybody”

“Okay I will take you out but a doctor needs to check you out” he replied, I took his wrist pulling him to look at me.

“I don’t want to see anyone, just take me out of here”

Please comment and vote, I need to know what you think of the story so far

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Love you all💕💕💕

Shery7888

Chapter 26

Forgiveness and new beginnings….

“How are you feeling?” Ryker asked for the hundredth time since I woke up but I am not going to reply him. I asked him to take me out of the hospital, I don’t remember falling a sleep but apparently I did and when I woke up I was in his house. When I asked him to take me out I meant I wanted to be alone and not with him, I don’t need his help any more and his show that he cares only to bail the next day just makes me angry “Cole talk to me” I got out of his bed walking to the door without a word, his house is big depending on the room we are in but what can we expect from someone like him.

He sucks at designs and as I thought in his office, his house looks like a haunted house. I opened the door to find big stairs, I climbed down hearing Ryker’s footsteps behind me and I didn’t dare look back at him “Cole you can’t go outside” he said as if a warning, so now he is kidnapping me, I glared back at him before trying to pull the door but it was locked.

“Open the door” I ordered in a calm tone, surprisingly I am still so calm with this man “Open the door Fox”

“It is dangerous out there”

“I don’t remember asking you what is out there” I said holding the knob leaning into it “I asked you to open the door Fox”

“You said you wanted to come with me”

“No I said, I wanted YOU to take me out of the hospital, now open the Goddamn door” I gritted my teeth waiting for him to make a move and open the door but he didn’t, I made my way into the kitchen picking out a knife. I came back to try and open the door but he pulled my hand taking the knife away from me.

“Don’t do that again” he said in a worried tone looking at the knife as if it is a weapon I was going to use. Ha, he thought I was going to cut myself, that was then, when my expectations for him were high now I just don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone, all I need is to be alone somewhere.

“You thought I was going to try and kill myself” I asked “So now you care about what I do with my life”

“I care” I raised my eye brows at him showing I don’t believe a word he says “I have always cared”

“Was that before or after I tried killing myself because if you’re saying you always cared it makes me wonder and question the meaning of ‘care’ to you, am I giving it a higher standard than what it already has Fox” I asked someone who cares listens and fulfills what he promised, he knew I was in a bad place and he came giving me hope that he will be there, that he will help me, he will make me better, he knew how much he made me better, I fuckin told him how I felt when he was around but he turned around and left without looking back at me like I meant nothing, he will never know how much that broke me and how lost I felt and I. Hate. Him for that

“Am sorry I didn’t show up, I-”

“Busy” I finished for him “Fox, in that hospital I felt really bad. I was at the edge of dying and you came, giving me all the hope you could give and I know you know how I feel about you. You came in showing me how the world can be bright again only for you to just break that promise the next day, I wanted to kill myself the minute you left then I remembered what you said, to be fine for you and I did only for you to take that promise as nothing, only for you to trash that promise yet you knew who you were dealing with, you knew how I felt and you did that. I hate you so much Fox, I hate you I would rather get killed than stay in the same room as you”

I made sure I say everything single word to his face, even if his face isn’t blank I hate him for playing with my feelings like that. Everytime I remember what he did I just wish I could die just to get over that disappointment. I had to deal with my parents disappointing me but he promised and he decided not to show up, he could have showed up and told me hi, then left that would have saved me in that moment but he didn’t.

“I did show up” I snapped my head in his direction, when did he show up, I would have remembered seeing him, I was awake all night “You were sleeping and I didn’t want to wake you up since they had given you an injection. I decided to come the next day in the morning and I found….” He looked anywhere but me, I don’t remember falling a sleep, I don’t remember being injected with anything “In that moment I thought I was losing my life, I felt like I have failed you. I wasn’t lying when I said I would be there, I meant that and I am so sorry for making you feel like I have bailed, for making you feel like you are left with nothing but I am here, I have always been and I will always be here just give me a chance to prove it this time”

I stared at him without blinking feeling so much in me, I feel like the rejection I once felt has been washed away, I feel my life coming back, my pain washing away. I feel brand new like how I felt when he visited that day, I felt cared for once again but is it going to last this time or is it going to be like the rest and he bails the next day when I become irrelevant, I would rather know I am alone than depend on people who are not going to be around the next day. I hate being given hope today only for it to wash away the next day just like that, they do it as if it meant nothing yet to me only those simple words mean so much but this time I need them to be followed with actions and he has to mean each and every word.

I feel connected to him again just like how it is supposed to be “Fox words are not going to fix anything this time, if your not going to fulfill them. You gave a choice to either bail before you let me down when I am vulnerable again or you fulfill each and EVERY word you have just said” I don’t want him to be in something that he was forced into, he has to chose and not out of pity but out of care, if hope is over for me he should just let me leave this house before I get hurt once again, I am sick and tired of getting hurt by him over and over.

“I promise to be here this time” his words held sincerity in them, I walked over hugging him crying in his chest, feeling full again. Feeling completed once again, he wrapped his strong hands around me making me sigh in relief though I couldn’t shake off the feeling, he should use this chance carefully because if he messes this up….

I will never forgive him again

Do you guys think that this is a right decision, should Cole trust Ryker again or….tell me your thoughts in the comments below.

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Love you all💕💕

Chapter 27

Let’s get to know each other better….

“Thank you” I hummed not getting out of the hug, taking in his scent as much as I could “Let us go have lunch”

“Can we stay here for a few more minutes” I asked holding him more, this is exactly where I belong and where I want to be. Hearing his heart beat is calming me down, there will never be peace like this right where I am “Your smell is similar just like in my dream and your touch feels just the same” I admitted, the dream seems so real when I smell him like this, I had to fight the urge of holding him when my stomach growled in hunger “I think we should get something to eat”

“Come on” he pulled me into the kitchen again “you can sit, I will prepare something” I took a seat on the counter as he picked out the ingredients from the fridge and cup boards laying them down.

“You live here alone” I asked, the house is big but seems so lonely plus the colors just make it scary, he nodded turning on the stove “You don’t have maids to help you around”

“I can do everything myself, why would I need people around”

“You mean you clean” he nodded and I had to laugh.

“What is funny?”

“I just…I can’t believe that Ryker Fox can clean after himself” I said, that is how I see him “You seem to have it all and I expected a million maids here”

“Is that the vibe I give off?”

“You don’t know the vibes you give off” I asked in wonder, I have literally called him out on his vibes all the time “You own and have it all, very commanding and intimidating, not to me but to the rest”

“That isn’t a vibe, that is who I am”

“You mean you have it all” I asked just to clarify.

“Not all but if you mean own, then yeah I own it all”

“Examples” I have to know what he ‘owns all’

“Do you really want to know” he asked as if I will change my mind of course I would want to know more about it so I nodded, he stopped cooking looking into space “Well, I…how can I say this….” He sighed as if looking for the right words.

“Let me help you out, are you like a millionaire or billionaire”

“Let us not use money and use status” I nodded, status like what.

“Like mayor or something” he nodded “Okay so are you higher than the mayor” he smiled and that smile warmed my heart so much even if his teeth didn’t show it was a simple smile but it counts with this man, every single thing counts.

“Do we have to talk about it”

“Yes, I need to know”

“If I tell you, you don’t ask anymore questions about it” I rolled my eyes but nodded, I really want to know “Ah, higher than the president” my eyes widened and I have so many questions, how is he higher than the president, how did he become higher than the president, that makes him what. I don’t know anyone that is higher than the president.

“Ah-”

“You promised not to ask” he cut me off going back to cooking food as I groaned, now he has given me another task to find, why does he have to be so mysterious.

“Okay on a different note, how old are you”

“Twenty” bitch, there is no way this dude is twenty, did he forget an eight after a two or a three before the two or something.

“Fox, your kidding” I asked getting out of my stool to take him in, there is no way “No way, tell me your real age Fox”

“I told you” he replied turning to me

“It is impossible” I had to disagree with him on this, there is no way he is twenty “Then how did you accomplish to be higher than the president when your twenty, there is no way that is your real age Fox”

“What age would you give me?”

“The least, thirty two, it’s not like your older than your age it is just, your hot and all but still…..I just think that with the way you look you have to be in your thirties or late twenties”

“Am neither of that” he pulled his wallet from his pants, he opened it pulling out his ID and it says he is twenty born in august 22th two thousand and one

“Huh” I had no response, this is so wrong on all levels “When did you start working then at three” that is the only way he would have accomplished all of this that he has, I don’t think just three years could have turned him into what he is, president Malloy has been president for seven years and next year will be his last year. If Ryker is higher than that man then how did he accomplish all of this when he was like twelve when we elected Malloy for the first time like it is impossible “Then you have to be lying about something”

“What would I be lying about?” He asked going back to his cooking his back at me.

“Either your age or accomplishments or you inherited all of this”

“I didn’t inherit a thing” he specified not looking back at me “I just….I was born with a high power that kind of helped me get to where I am”

“What higher power?”

“My mom was someone big in the world and when she gave birth to me I followed her footsteps so that helped me”

“What is her name?” I asked maybe I have heard of her, if she was big in the world then I probably have heard of her.

“Erin Fox” I have never heard of her

“How come I don’t know her?”

“You don’t have to know everything Relish” he is right but I have learned every book of history and I have to say I know alot of people, if she was someone big in this world then I have to know her, or maybe she wasn’t in all the books I read.

“I thought we established the first name basis”

“You call me Fox”

“Okay how about we start calling each other by our first name” I suggested, he turned to me nodding before going back to cooking “That smells nice”

“Thanks” he was right when he said he has it all, now he can cook. I am starting to know more about him yet I have been here for only a few hours and I have learnt the most unbelievable things, the fact that he is only twenty blew me way off and I am still contemplating how he is only twenty years old and has all of that. Here I am almost twenty seven and I am only going down as my age goes up, just a total loser for sure “Okay am done” Ryker announced pulling out two plates, he served them handing me one as I thanked her smelling my food.

I picked up a fork tasting it and it tastes as good as it looks “So how come you don’t want maids here, isn’t this house too big for you to clean by yourself”

“I like having my own space and people tend to not be trustworthy”

“That I agree, people are the worst” they break your trust when you least expect it and they make this world bad yet it was meant to be good, everyone to enjoy what they have but the people in it make it all about competition, who is the best at this and that, they lie all the time, cheat then run away like nothing happened “So I have been itching to ask you this”

“What?”

“How did you become the CC’s alpha?”

Is Ryker lying about his age or do you believe him… comment what you think

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Love you all💕💕

Chapter 28

Home is not where your family is or your friends, home is the place that makes you feel safe, protected, loved, cared for, happy. That is the home you need….

“How did you become the CC’s alpha?” I had to ask, how did he get to be the alpha of that big organization at this age.

“Do you even know what alpha means?”

“They call you that, they treat you like a leader instead of the boss”

“I didn’t become the CC’s alpha, I created the CC’s. It fights crimes and that is something I love the most to do, help, protect and give people justice”

“But you make the cases disappear” he gave me a single glance shaking his head “What, isn’t that what you guys do?”

“Just because you don’t know what we do doesn’t mean we do what you think we do”

“Then tell me what you guys do, change my perspective of what I think you do”

“Your not ready to hear that”

“I think I am ready” he put his plate into the sink walking out of the kitchen as I followed him “Do you know how many things I have seen in my life, I think I am ready to know and hear staff”

“I just don’t want to trigger anything”

“Trigger what” I asked as we walked up the stairs “I don’t see anything that can trigger me at all”

“You have received enough information for the day, too much will be too heavy and you like knowing so much you might do something you shouldn’t do, how about we talk about this some other day”

“First please answer this question okay?”

“Okay one last question, what is it?”

“What does CC’s stand for?” I asked with a smile, I have always wanted to know what it stands for.

“If I tell you don’t ask anymore questions deal”

“On my life”

“Creature control services” he replied and I know he is enjoying this because now I have so many questions “Are there any questions you want to ask detective”

“Argh” he knows I do have alot of questions and he is mocking me. Creature control services, what creatures are they controlling, is he talking about these Laypoles that keep on attacking me all the time. See alot of questions but so little answers yet I need the answers or my head is going to explode, I breathed in and out glaring at Ryker who is smirking with his hands over his chest, I have never seen him smirk before and this is the first time I have seen him do that. First he smiled and now he is smirking though still he isn’t showing any teeth at all “No Fox, no questions”

“Good”

“Can I write them down” I was dying with all these questions

“No”

“Argh, why you gotta be so hard” I replied frustrated and giving up on him, why can’t he just answer simple questions “You know, I once read somewhere that if you hide secrets you die young”

“I have been keeping secrets since the day I was born and I have been living forever, secrets make you live for eternity”

“Dude your only twenty years old, stop talking as if you have lived for a thousand years, let the adults talk”

Ryker smiled opening the door to a room “You call yourself an adult”

“Well, I am six years older, now listen to your elders. Start spilling secrets or they will kill you” that made him chuckle, it is funny how he hasn’t been blank faced all the time we have been talking to each other, that calms my nerves, with his blank face you can never know if he is bored, irritated or not listening and with him I don’t have to force anything except his answers to my questions but all in all I feel home and myself without any filters, he just makes me feel everything.

“Cole we both know who the elder one in this room is”

“Yeah, it’s me not you” I clarified pointing at him “Hey shouldn’t you be in school or something”

“Shouldn’t you?”

“No because I am a grown up, you should be in college”

“Cole can we please get off my age”

“If you promise to answer my questions” I wiggled my eye brows

“Will you stop interrogating me”

“No your a puzzle that I want to put together and as I am seeing this, I have not put up even a single piece together so no, I won’t stop this interrogation”

“Do you want to take a nap?” I huffed with my hands over my chest in defiance, I have been sleeping almost half a day “I really want to take a nap, would you want to join”

“I don’t want to sleep”

“What do you want to do?”

“Talk to you”

“Your going to interrogate me”

“No I will not” I confirmed joining him on the bed “We can talk about anything else like….ugh nothing I just want to know you, it is just a feeling I have and I would like to know you more than anything, I guess it is just a…sorry I didn’t mean to be irritating”

“You can never be irritating” he comforted taking my hand in his “you’re just asking for something you can’t know for now”

“So tell me what you want me to know”

“I would want you to know it all but you have just left the hospital and I don’t want to stress you with my life”

“But I want you to stress me with your life” I replied taking his other hand “We can lean on each other through everything and if something stresses you, you can tell me and I can do it too like how this house is stressing me out”

“How?” He gave a confused look

“Ryker really you don’t see it, dark brown really. Did you want to be haunted by ghosts, if that is what you wanted I think mission accomplished, this house is already haunted now” he first chuckled before full on laughing falling back down on the bed laughing so hard that I joined him, his laugh is nice and I wish he releases that sound more often.

“Oh Goddess” he said through laughter, he calmed himself down staring at me “I don’t think I have laughed that hard in my life” my heart swelled, I am the first person to make him laugh like that ‘Yes’ I win “plus dark brown is not bad, it is calming and ghosts are not real”

“If they were, you would have accomplished conjuring them with that color”

“It is not a bad color”

“For a house yes it is, just like your office”

“Your making me hate the color now”

“YESSSS” I cheered getting off of the bed dancing “Mission accomplished” I cheered jumping all around in happiness, I have made him hate this awful color now he might get something better that will brighten this beautiful house that has been made dull because of the color. I squeaked when something snaked around my waist.

“Did I scare you?”

“No, just surprised” I turned around in his arms looking at him with his hands not leaving my waist “I didn’t see you get off the bed coming to me”

“You were too busy dancing after making me hate my color”

“Are you willing to change the color?”

“What colors would you want?” He asked, I wrapped my arms around his waist too looking up at him.

“We can check them up and see the best ones though blue and green don’t sound bad” I suggested already excited “I can’t wait to see this color gone” he nodded leaning down hugging me tightly and I did the same sniffing his scent “Can we take that nap now” In his arms my body feels like resting in his comfortable chest

He didn’t reply but walked us back on the bed, he laid down without us letting go of each other. I rested my head in his chest sleeping on top of him feeling his warm body “I love it when your close like this” I admitted moving my head in his neck sniffing him holding onto his shoulder blades my eyes closing with the feeling of being home and safe

I am home

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you

Chapter 29

We can paint

walls but not each other….

“Ryker” I called my heart pounding with the thought of having made the entire day up in my head. He is not in bed with me just like when I made up the night of us having sex, I didn’t find him in bed the next morning. Tears started streaming down my face “No, I didn’t make it up, Ryker” I called again bringing my knees to my chest scared to go look just in case I find out that it is true I made the entire thing up.

“RYKER” I cried looking around the room when the door opened Ryker entering with a worried face “You’re here” I ran over jumping onto him with my shaking body.

“It’s okay am here”

“I thought I made it all up” I cried into his shoulder.

“Am here this time” he comforted but I felt like if I let go I will lose him again so I held tighter. I heard him move but I didn’t let go of him until he sat on the bed with me still clinging onto him.

“You will never leave me right”

“I will always be here”

“Where were you?”

“I was finishing some work in my office”

“I was so scared I thought I made it all up, I got so scared” I cried into his shoulder, the fear of making up everything that happened yesterday scaring me so much, my worst fear is making up everything with this man. I want our time to be real and not just made up with my head.

“You didn’t make any thing up, I am here for real okay” he comforted moving his hands in circles. We sat there for some minutes with him soothing me calm and I did when it all sank in that this is real, he is really here this time “You can take a shower now, I will go make some breakfast” I nodded getting off of him sitting down on the bed “You feeling good?”

“Yeah, thanks” he nodded making his way to the door, I remained seated releasing a heavy breath of relief wiping away my tears, that was the worst feeling in the world, we had a moment yesterday, we talked and I got to know a little about him and waking up today to an empty bed scared me to the point that I thought the worst, I thought everything was made up by my silly brain, if all of this had been made up I don’t know what I would have done, so glad it is all real.

I got up walking into the bathroom, I brushed my teeth, took a long relaxing shower before walking out. I walked to the closet to find my clothes already inside, I don’t know how they got here but I also don’t care, I picked up one jean and a shirt before leaving the room with my wet hair. I walked down stairs to the kitchen to find Ryker already done with cooking “Dig in” I took a seat on one stool before picking up a toast taking a bite as Ryker joined in.

“Are you going back to work” I asked after a few minutes of silence.

“I can’t leave you alone, at least for days I will be working from home” I nodded with a smile, I didn’t want to be left alone in this house and being far away from him seems hard “I got a guy to come around and paint the house, you will tell him what you would want”

“I get to choose the colors I want”

“I chose and this is what I came up with, I want to see yours”

“How about we don’t get a guy to do it”

“Then who will do it” he asked staring down at his plate

“Us”

“I am not a painter”

“Neither am I but I think it will be fun”

“It is work, it can’t be fun” I rolled my eyes, of course it will be fun.

“I don’t think I can deal with being idle all day and I have nothing to do, this will be fun please” I begged, work is the last thing I need in my life and going back in that world is not in any of my plans, my plan is to be here, where I feel safe and protected, I need to get better before I can face the world again.

“Fine but don’t blame me when I mess up, I know nothing about painting”

“But of course I will blame you when you mess up” he glared at me as I chuckled “Am kidding, it will be just fun and if we can’t do it then the guy can come in” I picked up my now empty plate taking it to the sink “We should go buy paint”

“Everything we will need is already here” he replied telling me to follow him, I did and we walked into the basement where I found everything we will need and all colors of paint

“You have all these colors and you chose dark brown”

“Will you ever let it go”

“Never, this proves everyone isn’t perfect”

“Huh”

“Nothing, let us go” I changed the topic moving to the paints. I chose pale blue for the bedrooms where we are going to start from. We fixed everything, changed up our clothes putting on over rolls. We first moved all the staff out of the bedroom taking them outside, he had no pictures on the walls, I don’t know why but I guess that is how private he is. We first pressure washed the walls, removed loose paint, put some tape in the edges, the ceiling and the floor. We covered the floor with a clothe before we started painting and doing it with Ryker, showing him what to do made it fun.

He knew nothing about painting, his height came in handy since he could reach the ceiling without much effort unlike me who used the ladder all the time which made him laugh as if it is funny “Your just too tall shut up” I whined climbing the ladder

“Am not the one struggling” I picked up a brush throwing paint at him and when it smeared his hair I laughed almost falling off of the ladder “I didn’t know we were here to paint me”

“And we are not, you called me short”

“Isn’t that what you are”

“Just because your tall and walk with only tall people it doesn’t mean everyone in the world has to be as tall as you” I complain getting off of the ladder “I have always wanted to ask you, do you give out jobs depending on people’s heights”

“Why would I determine height to hire people”

“I have never seen anyone at your company shorter that 6’3” Even the women he has are all tall

“Have you ever considered that no short people want to join us” I scoffed, why would they be scared to join them, is it that they are terrified to work with them because of their height.

“You mean to say if I applied I will be hired”

“Of course”

“What would you be depending on to hire me”

“Qualifications” he replied going back to painting “I will depend on your potential plus our job is risky, You must know how to fight, use your eye to not miss anything, how to determine lies, smell things, how to track”

“Whoa that is alot, I guess I won’t be getting the job now”

“You don’t get a job right away, it takes years of training before you start going into the field, I don’t just hire”

“I won’t be hired” he turned to me

“I would hire you because your a good investigator but it would take years of training before I can ever allow you in the field”

“Dude I am a detective, I can fight and as you said I am a good investigator”

“Can you fight a lay-” he cut himself off “we are getting off topic here, I don’t hire people because of their heights but because of their potential, now can we go back to painting”

“You and your work, it’s just work why would you want to hide it” I whined, he is so secretive “Are you like into illegal staf- Ohh” I gasped when paint hit my face, did he just smear me with paint “Oh no you didn’t” I said picking up the entire can throwing it all on to him and now he is covered in blue from head to toe with me laughing my ass off as he wiped his eyes trying to get the paint from his face.

“Did you have to pour the entire can on me” I shrugged but took a few steps back as he walked towards me

“Please, please, please” I begged as he engulfed me in his big body that is full of paint “Ugh now I am blue”

“Let us be blue together” I nodded jumping onto him but he slipped and we fell on the ground with me on top of him. I looked at him and we laughed laying down “We literally just painted each other, this job is definitely not for us”

“It was fun”

“Yes it was”

“Will we do it again”

“Can I not get painted next time”

“I can’t promise a thing”

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Chapter 30

Tell me a story….

I carried my ice cream before going back upstairs into Ryker’s office “Do you need some?” I asked as soon as I re-entered the room, he shook his head with his eyes still at his lap top typing something “Your hands” I said gesturing him to remove his hands so that I can resume my seat earlier, that is his lap

He removed his hands allowing me to sit onto his lap just like earlier before I went down stairs to get some ice cream. He has been working since morning and I have been ignored since then that I need him to give me attention, that is why I sat on his lap but he is still busy with his laptop like I am magically invisible on his lap. He didn’t look at me as he went back to typing things I didn’t care enough to read or know, work is the last thing on my mind and I know not everyone is tired of working but still… “When you start working you ignore me completely” I whined, getting ice cream in my pinky finger before putting it on his cheek

“Do you need to paint me with everything you hold” he asked wiping his cheek.

“I need attention, you have been working ever since we stopped painting” he sighed leaning back in his seat turning his face to me with his soft face, he has not been giving me a blank face and I am happy about this progress, he lets me in and I feel so happy about it because it doesn’t make me feel left out or disconnected from him like before.

“What do you want us to do?”

“I want your attention just like now” I smiled picking up my spoon full of ice cream and I was about to put it in my mouth when he directed my hand to his mouth, making me giggle “You said ice cream is for kids”

“Yes but the way you eat it made me want to taste it” my face heated up as I moved my eyes all around the room. I need to change the subject right now and the look he is throwing my way made me squirm on his comfortable lap.

“You have no photos in your house why?” Thank God that came to mind even though I have wanted to ask ever since we were painting, it was a nice change of topic from the way I eat ice cream.

“I am a busy man, I don’t have time to take photos” honestly the more I learn about Ryker the more I question him even more, he talks like he is older than his real age which is twenty, if that is true or not your guess is as good as mine.

“You act older than your age”

“That is because I am older”

“Then what is your real age?”

“1005” I had to laugh and I did, he is so funny.

“That was funny, but do you know that no human being lives that long”

“Yes but good thing you said human being am not one”

“What are you?”

“You already know” I shook my head no, how would I know that, he is a mystery and I know a quarter of him “Am an Alpha which means I would live that long”

“Being alpha makes you immortal” he nodded, does he mean just because he is called alpha it makes him mortal, if that is a super power he wants then I feel sad for him “Do you like being immortal, I feel like living that long is so boring and you will one day do everything you want to do then wish to die, I don’t like immortality”

“Do you know how many people would die to get immortality”

“Of course I have seen things like that in the movies, mostly people with greed want to live like that but I hate it” I admitted, If I got a chance to choose a super powers that would be the last thing I would need “I once saw this movie, it was about a vampire, he had lived for eight thousand years. He fell in love with a mortal girl but with time the girl grew old and old. The vampire wanted to be with her so he turned her into a vampire so they can live happily ever after but the moment the girl tasted that power her new self showed, she became so evil. People are greedy, she was loved by the vampire but in return she betrayed him and she wanted to kill him, that movie made me sad”

“Then what happened?” He asked with interest in his eyes. I rested my empty bowl of ice cream, I never get a chance to tell people about movies I see and this is great telling Ryker about one.

“Well, she started turning everyone so that she could build an army she will use to kill the vampire, his name was Ebron. The guy was so powerful and she wanted him dead so that she can be the most powerful true blood in the world but karma always catches on. She didn’t know that Ebron will always be stronger than her, he killed her then killed most of the vampires she had turned before he killed himself too because he was tired of life, see it gets boring”

“Was he tired of life or was it because he had no one to spend it with”

I scrunched my face “I don’t know but I think it was because he was tired of life, he used to say throughout the entire movie that he wanted to taste afterlife”

“He was willing to turn the woman into a vampire so that they can live together forever but when she betrayed him, he knew he had nothing else to live for and that is why he killed himself, not because he was tired but because the one he loved was dead”

“Woah, I never looked at it like that” I replied mesmerized, that kinda makes it true. Why turn her if he was tired of life, he could have let her live for as long as she can then later after she had died, he would have killed himself but instead he turned her which means he still wanted to live but with her by his side, I can’t believe I have never thought of it like that “But all in all I think immortality is not good”

“Why do humans who get married say I will love you forever”

“That means they want to be with you until the day they breath their last breath”

“No, it means that even when your dead and I am not, when my time reaches I will follow you into after life but if they had a chance of staying together on earth they would”

“So your saying everyone loves immortality” he nodded and I scoffed “Well not everyone and I don’t want that, I believe I speak for at least ten percent of people around the world”

“Picture the person you love the most and think of your life forever” of course I thought about him and I would love to spend my life with him forever, I don’t think it is enough because even in the after life I would follow him, there is no way he is leaving me all alone ‘that is of course when we get together’ “Now show me when you would want that love to end”

“Why would I want it to end?” I asked, with all that love who would wish for it to end, I would want it to go on forever and ever and ever and ev- oh shit “You played me” I pointed at him, shit that was a trick on me.

“No, I showed you the picture of what I mean”

“You’re right, with the person you love you can live forever and it would still feel so little” before meeting or accurately crushing on Ryker, I always doubted the love I could give someone and I believe it wouldn’t be this strong or this deep but with him I feel it so deep and so strong that forever feels so small with this man that is why I treasure every minute I get to spend with him “Now I am starting to believe your 10005 years old, your so deep, have you ever loved before”

“Yeah” Okay truth be told, I don’t know why I was expecting a no. I don’t know if, it is what I wanted to hear or it is the fact that I am jealous he has been in love before me. I shouldn’t have asked because I don’t like the answer even when I know I have no chance with this man, s thought of him with someone else just makes me wish I was dead to not witness something like that because I know it will crush me to the core.

“Who was it?” He looked at me for a couple of minutes with his eyes dancing from yellow to purple to red “Your eyes dance with colors, it’s beautiful” he didn’t reply, he traced my cheek with his finger tingles passing through me with his touch

“I have to tell you something” I was lost in his touch and his eyes, seeing his eyes change just captured me to the core. I nodded but I feel like I need those lips on mine in this moment and not his words. I moved my lips down to kiss him…..

“Hey man” a voice on the door cut me off, I turned my head to find Felix standing in the door way with a grin on his face “I see you guys are busy, I will come back tomorrow”

I needed him to leave, why is he even here at this moment when I have finally got a chance to kiss this man. Wrong timing that is for sure “Cole, I have some business I need to take care of and Felix will be staying with you for a couple of hours before I come back” my eyes widened in surprise. No, no I don’t need that

“Your leaving” I asked and he nodded, I don’t want him to go “Can I go with you” I pleaded ignoring the crack in my voice, him leaving me behind is just breaking my heart so much, I feel like I can’t breath with the thought of him not being near me

“It is dangerous, I will be back before you know it” I already miss him yet he is still here, how will he be back before I know it. I pulled him into a hug feeling him, taking in his scent enough so that I can keep feeling him close to me when he is gone but will I be able to do that when I feel like I can’t live without him next to me.

“I am going to miss you”

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Chapter 31

To forget reality, we need to find destruction to help our days go by. What type of destruction would you choose?…..

“At what time are you coming back?” I asked standing next to him on the closet as he shrugged on his coat, he is wearing a blue suit and I have been following him everywhere so that I don’t miss him when he is gone but him just putting on his clothes makes me miss him and the thought of him leaving is just driving me nuts that I want to use all the time I can to stay as close to him as possible.

“At around ten or eleven”

“Can’t you please make it eight”

“It is seven thirty” he pointed out but do I care, him spending thirty minutes is long enough but him spending three hours away from me just makes this harder than it already is

“Are you sure I can’t join you, you can leave me outside when your in your meeting”

“It is dangerous outside, I don’t want you to get hurt okay” he pecked my forehead making his way to the door as I followed him out of our room, it is ours because I spend nights here, I can’t sleep alone when I want to sleep in his chest, feel his warmth all over my body, am clingy I know.

“If it is dangerous for me then it is dangerous for you, maybe you shouldn’t go or you can postponed it, your the boss”

“I have been putting it off for long, I need to be there don’t worry I will be back as soon as I can” I hugged him, three hours is not soon enough for me, two minutes is as soon as possible three hours feels like years and I don’t want it to feel like that, I need him here so that those three years will feel like three seconds “Cole I have to leave now”

“No, one last hug” I said holding him firmly with his arms wrapped around me, I feel like if he leaves I am going to lose him and I don’t want that. I don’t ever want to feel that feeling again, the feeling of losing him like when I was still in the hospital. These last few days have been great because he is with me every minute of the day and I had nothing to worry about, just like a few hours ago he was working but I managed to get his attention to me but now he has to leave and I don’t want him to.

“Cole, I need to go” he pulled me out of the hug “Hey don’t cry” I sobbed, I didn’t know I was crying myself until he pointed it out. He pulled me into his chest again holding me like I want him to.

“Please don’t leave” I begged, I don’t think I can take this.

“It’s okay I am here” he comforted pulling my legs around his waist. I wrapped my hands around his neck, I didn’t need anything else as long as I am in his arms I don’t care where we are. I felt him walk but my head was in his neck taking in his scent my heart calming down the more I feel him next to me. I got laid down and I panicked thinking he is going to leave me “Am not going anywhere” he comforted joining me on the bed holding me close to him.

“Are you going to miss your meeting”

“Don’t think about that” I nodded sniffing him while laying my head in his chest with my legs wrapped around his legs. The more I feel him here the more all my worries disappear.

“Thank you” I mumbled with a sigh, feeling at home. He moved his hand on my back, his hand making me sleepy. Taking in his scent I pushed myself into him more closing my eyes as sleep took over in the comforts of his chest and warm body.

I woke up and as usual Ryker isn’t in bed, there is no time I wake up and find him next to me. He is always awake before me, I miss seeing him in his sleep or wake up beside him just because he is an early bird that I am definitely not in these days. I used to be an early bird when I used to work but now I just don’t care. I got out of bed making my way into the bathroom, did my business, brushed my teeth before walking out with a towel wrapped around my waist. I put on my jeans and shirt.

I finished putting on before making my way out of the bedroom, I walked down stairs and into the kitchen to find Felix there cooking beacon “Morning” he greeted without turning to look at me.

“Morning where is Ryker?” I usually find him in the kitchen making breakfast but today it is Felix, maybe he is in his office.

“He is in a meeting?” He replied turning to me taking off his apron “He will be back in about thirty minutes”

“When did he leave?” I am trying to stay as calm as I can but I am freaking out on the inside.

“In the morning, he had to reschedule” I nodded, he has to work, he can’t be taking care of me all his life. He has things to do, I tried comforting myself and I should just breathe and let him work, it is just work he will come back “Do you want breakfast”

“No….but thanks” I gave him a tiny smile before walking away.

“I made your favorite-”

“Thanks but I don’t have an appetite” I replied walking into the basement, I need anything that can distract my mind from Ryker, I picked out brushes and some new paint before walking into the room we painted yesterday but didn’t finish since we were messing around the entire time. I wiped away a tear that escaped my eyes before focusing at the job at hand, to make this wall look amazing and I did that. I painted with my mind remembering how it was when I was doing it with Ryker yesterday, it was so fun now it is just plain

“Did you do all of this yourself” I glanced at the door where Felix is standing with two cups in his hands.

“I did it with Ryker but we ended up painting each other” I smiled looking at the wall we painted yesterday, I wish he was here today so that we can finish it together.

“Do you want me to help you?”

“If you want to” I replied with a shrug, he walked over to me handing me both cups of coffee and I had to put my brush down to get a hold of both of them. He shrugged off his jacket laying it down before taking back one cup leaving me with one “Thanks” I said taking a sip.

“How does this work?” He asked sipping his coffee, I took a few sips of mine while showing him how it works “I know I am going to mess this up somehow and we will have more than the wall painted”

“As long as you don’t paint yourself” he chuckled and I joined in, I put my half cup of coffee, picking up my tools getting onto the ladder to paint up while he took his and just like Ryker he stood and he could reach where I couldn’t.

“is this fine” I looked at his side and nodded giving him a thumbs up “this is amazing, it feels like a child shading”

“Shading, if you give this to a kid the entire thing would be messy with all the colours you could find”

“You mean it would be colorful” I chuckled but nodded, kids are messy and indeed they would make this wall colorful even though I don’t need a colorful wall, I need a neat blue wall.

“Let me hope you don’t make this colorful”

“Why, you don’t want colorful things”

“I love colorful things, I just hate messy” I clarified, pointing a brush at him which led to paint falling on the tap covering the floor and I am glad it is there.

“Look at who is causing the mess already”

“Oh shut up” I mumbled my face already red as he laughed at me.

“You look cute when you blush” he said back staring directly at me. Cute, me I bet to differ on that one and there is no changing that.

“Will you stop calling me out from my embarrassment” I replied going back to the painting with my face now as red as a tomato and I heard him chuckle beside me but I didn’t bother to look back at him.

“How long have you been living here”

“Four days now, you didn’t know I lived here” I asked

“I was informed of you living here yesterday just because Ryker had an important meeting”

“Aren’t you like his best friend”

“I would say I am the closest person to him but still he is so secretive with me”

“How long have you know him” I am intrigued, I know I don’t tell Bryan everything but with time I got comfortable enough to let him in fully but if he is the closest person to Ryker, shouldn’t he have been the first person to know about me staying here.

“I would say ten….” He mumbled some things that I didn’t quite catch on to “But maybe he was being cautious”

“From his best friend” I questioned but then felt happy, I am not the only one he is secretive with even though I would want to get to know more about him. For now I think I need to earn his trust, Felix has known him for ten years and still they got secrets, it is good to know that that is the way he is “I wonder why he would be so secretive”

“No one will know” My eyes widened at the voice he used so out of the blue.

“Why did you say it like that?” I asked chuckling to myself at the way he said it like it was in a horror movie, he said it like it has effects to it for it to be scary and for some reason I found that funny and impressive, not many can get their voices that deep.

“You mean ‘no one will ever know’ like that” this time I burst out laughing when he did it again and with a straight face to that, the voice is sexy and nice to listen to. My laugh came short when Ryker’s presence on the door captured my attention.

“You’re back” I got down from the ladder running over jumping onto him without a care that I have paint all over my hands “I missed you” I mumbled into his shoulder

“I missed you too”

Chapter 32

Turn me on with that beautiful voice of yours…..

“You did” I asked just to make sure while getting down staring into his eyes but they we’re on Felix “Hey is everything good?” I asked shaking his hand when I saw him glaring at Felix with his eyes purple eyes now red.

“I will leave now” Felix’s voice came out with anger, he picked up his jacket in anger before storming out of the room.

“Felix wha-” he had already got down the stairs slamming the door closed behind him “I wonder what happened to him” I mumbled turning to look at Ryker my smile coming back on my lips “How was your meeting?” I asked wrapping my hands around him looking up at his handsome face, my mood getting better than how it was earlier.

“Good, I am sorry for leaving like that”

“It’s fine, I should be the one apologizing for last night. I don’t know what came over me but….am sorry” I added when I knew my excuse was not valid, he has a job and I should be more understanding than ever but last night I seemed to not understand that, I just couldn’t watch him leave and I am glad he left when I was still asleep because I don’t know how I would have reacted again, I just need to start getting control over my emotions.

“You did a nice job” I turned to the room that is almost finished and smiled to myself, it is going to be as I want it to be.

“Felix helped out since you weren’t around” I replied looking back at him “Are you tired”

“Why?”

“You woke up very early and the meeting, do you want to take a nap or do you want to eat, I can prepare you something”

“I don’t feel tired but I am indeed hungry”

“Greet, you go take a shower as I prepare lunch”

“Don’t you need a shower too” he said pointing at my paint covered arms, I am glad my clothes didn’t get any paint on them but I don’t think I need a shower.

“I will just wash my hands, let’s go” I said pulling him towards our bedroom. I changed into other clothes washed paint off of my hands with soap giving myself time to wipe it all away before leaving the room and into the kitchen. I pulled out potatoes, pealing them then dicing them into square shapes. I picked out my chicken with a smile never leaving my lips while making this meal, the first time I am cooking for the person I love and I want it to be perfect, the second thing is this is the first time he eats something I cook, he has been cooking ever since I arrived and I have to compete with his amazing food.

He arrived later with me almost done and he took a seat where I usually sit watching my every move making me squirm becoming more cautious of what I do, I love his eyes on me but still it makes me want to do everything right just to be perfect like him “Will you stop staring at me” I finally voiced out with a red face

“You always stare at me when I am cooking” I rolled my eyes at his answer, it doesn’t mean he has to do the same, whatever he does is just perfect, not like me “Am I making you nervous” as if he doesn’t know it already. I turned from him focusing on what I am cooking only to squeak when he snaked his hands around my waist from behind “why do you always jump when I do this”

“Because I never expect you to do it” I replied looking up at him before looking back down with a smile, having him this close is just heaven “Will you please get the plates for me” he put his hand up into the cup board his other arm never leaving my waist. He picked up two plates and I started serving my spicy chicken and potatoes.

“That looks yummy” I smiled my face turning red, he moved his hand stealing one piece putting it into his mouth and I waited for what he thinks “And it tastes as marvellous as it looks” I smiled feeling proud of myself, I am not a professional cook but I can say that I don’t suck though most times I lose track of things and mess up my meal but I am glad I didn’t mess this one up.

“Thanks” I mumbled picking up our plates taking in them into the dining room as Ryker picked up our drinks. I moved to sit in my seat when he pulled me into his lap extending my food towards him, I didn’t complain I love sitting on his lap, in fact I made myself comfortable as I picked up my fork digging into my food.

“How did you feel with Felix?” He asked out of the blue, I chewed my food

“He is nice and funny” I replied after swallowing “It wasn’t bad hanging out with him”

“Did you enjoy his company like you enjoy mine” I laughed, is he seriously asking me that kind of question. His company should be compared to nothing and that should have been clear in his head. I ignored him continuing my food but he wasn’t eating his, I glanced at him to find him already staring at me like he is still expecting an answer from me “Did you enjoy his company like you enjoy mine”

“You’re not serious?” I asked, does he even know the difference. He looked at me his face showing how serious he is “You know how I feel about you how can you compare the two” I said getting off of his lap in confusion.

“I don’t know, you were laughing-”

“What?” I cut him off my glare calming down when something clicked, he thinks just because I was laughing with Felix suddenly I enjoy his company more “Were you jealous of your friend” I asked a smile taking over my lips “Is he you know gay and that is why you were jealous….wait aren’t you supposed to be straight why would you be jealous, you shouldn’t be, now I am just making up staff” I mumbled looking to the side trying to get to the right order of all of this but that is the only explanation why he would try to compare the two.

He shrugged looking back at his food, I knew I was just making staff up. I sighed getting back onto his lap picking my plate again to finish my meal but my head was in thoughts of why he would ask “did you want to know if you could leave me with Felix often” I asked just to make sure, that can also ask why he would be interested in knowing because he wants me to stay with Felix more.

“You wouldn’t mind”

“I wouldn’t but I would still love it if you were here more often than him” I confessed truthfully, I wouldn’t mind Felix but still I would love for it to be just the two of us “And he did a voice so deep, it was so funny and sexy”

“What do you mean?” He asked throwing his fork hard back on the plate like he is angry, I ignored that trying to remember Felix’s voice while giggling to myself.

“It was sooooo deep, like how a bad guy would sound in a movie but then again sexy-” something banged the table making me squeak holding onto him “Why did you do that?” I asked when I realized he was the one that banged the table making that sound.

“Sorry” he apologized holding his chin seeming to be in thoughts, I held his head asking if he is fine “yeah am fine” Holy shit, I think I am trembling, my head was spinning whereas my dick was as hard as a rock from the voice. If I thought Felix’s voice was sexy this one is hot on all new levels that I think I came in my pants this instant. If I hear that voice one more time I will be coming right here.

“C-” I licked my chapped lips “Can you use that voice again” I begged, his voice is just deep, heavy kind of animalistic yet still smooth to make me tremble. He gave me a confused look as if he doesn’t remember what he has just said and in what voice he has just used it in “Use the voice you have just used again” I am so shameless, I just need to hear that voice again, I don’t care that I am hard in front of him, all I need is that voice.

“Like make my voice deep” It is official he is going to be the death of me.

Chapter 33

It doesn’t matter how big the fire is, it always goes out because it’s time is over. Everyone loses time….

It has been days now and Ryker leaves me with Felix all the time, I miss him alot when he is gone which he seems to be doing a lot lately and I have noticed how he comes back with an angry face. As secretive as he is he never tells me what is wrong but I make sure to make him smile and take his mind off of whatever is troubling him.

I fall in love with him more with each passing day, sometimes I feel like I want to kiss him or make a move and maybe I become more that just a room mate who is so clingy but then I remember that he is straight and just being polite with me. I just can’t help it, I feel so attached to him with each passing day and although he doesn’t talk about himself I feel like I know him ‘Just wish he wasn’t straight’ I sighed leaning back in my chair. What if all these meetings lately are actually with a woman and he wants to date, my drink fell onto my lap when that thought hit my head, Ryker with someone else feels like a spear aimed at my heart that will leave me dead.

He can’t have someone, now I am panicking. Is he with someone else, are they kissing or is she touching him. I panicked pulling off my wet shirt and trousers running over to the phone, today Ryker is late than usual ‘Oh my God, it is true he is with someone’ why else would he be five minutes late. Felix has already left and Ryker isn’t home up till now which is unusual of him. I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up ‘Please pick up’ I mumbled taping the phone losing my mind over this. He isn’t picking up, he is definitely with someone else ‘What are they doing?’ is she kissing him, touching him like I couldn’t.

‘No, no, no’ Ryker could never do that to me, he knows how I feel about him and he can never do that. He is….I ran over to the door when it opened and in walked Ryker. I jumped onto him not wasting anytime sniffing his musk scent and I sniffed harder to see if I can get any woman’s scent on him, I sighed when I got none ‘He wasn’t with anyone’ I pulled out of the hug staring at Ryker with a smile while getting down, he wasn’t with anyone, I was panicking over nothing as usual “Hi” I mumbled holding his hand which is burning “Ryker, are you sick?”

“Am good nothing to worry about” he replied but I can see he isn’t alright and today he isn’t angry. He just looks sick, his purple eyes dilated with his face so yellowish. I lifted my hand to his face and he is burning.

“Your sick, we should get to the hospital now” I said ready to pull him back out but I have no pants on “Let me go put on some clothes, come first take a sit” I tried taking him to the couch but he caught my hand “What is it, are you feeling so bad, do you want me to call an ambulance” I asked touching his hot hand.

“Am not sick, I never get sick”

“Well you are now, your temperature is high, your burning” I clarified “We have to go to the hospital and no questions asked, now sit down as I put on some clothes” I left no room for argument pulling him to the couch “I will be right back” I ran back up to our room, shrugged on my hoodie and a jean before running back down stairs only to find Ryker gone from where I left him, I could hear noises in the bathroom right in the hallway “Ryker” I called knocking on the door, we never use this bathroom “Ryker is everything good in there?” I asked concerned when I heard wheezing inside and things falling down. I tried opening the door only for it to be locked “Ryker open the door” I said louder so that he can hear me from inside but again only weird sounds came From inside.

I tried kicking the door down, I am concerned he was sick when he went in there. I kicked the door as hard as I could but it didn’t open up “Ryker” I called instead, I touched the knob only to be burned “Ouch, shit” I cried out letting got of the hot knob. The bathroom has smoke coming out of it and Ryker is in there. I ran into the kitchen picking up a knife, I ran over the bathroom door trying to not panic as I fought with the lock and when it opened I ran inside the flaming room “Ryker” I called coughing trying to find him as hard as I could but he was nowhere to be found.

The smoke started clearing up and I could see clearly, the entire bathroom is burnt but I can’t see fire anywhere ‘How did fire start in a bathroom?’ I asked myself, I never use this bathroom and I know Ryker doesn’t use it too, speaking of Ryker. I ran out of the bathroom yelling his name looking for him everywhere and I am glad he wasn’t in the bathroom that got burned. I ran through the entire house searching for Ryker, I looked through the curtains and his car is still outside, unless he used another car, I ran into the garage and all his cars are still there, I tried opening the doors to go outside and see if he is out but the doors are locked as usual ‘I should ask him why he does that’ I heard something hit the ground when I was passing one of the rooms on the second floo, I ran back opening the door and found Ryker in his underwear trembling on the floor “Ryker”

I ran up to him, his body is floated with sweat, his body trembling “Ryker” I called holding his head wondering where to begin from. His eyes connected with mine and they are completely white, they are no longer purple or yellow or red but white. I have seen the rest of the colours but I have never seen this colour before “What is happening to you?” I asked my eyes dancing all over his trembling body. He is so hot with sweat all over him but he is also shaking like he is so cold “I will call the ambulance” I said getting up when he took my hand in his hot hand while shaking his head no “But your sick, I can’t watch you die”

He groaned writhing in pain as smoke started getting off of him “Ryker, your smoking” I said staring at his entire smoking body. Is he that hot that he is smoking, we need to get to the hospital as soon as possible before this gets worse.

“Get out” he said through gritted teeth like he is fighting something.

“No, I am not leaving you alone” I wasn’t going anywhere when he isn’t feeling good. I am staying here with him until he gets better at least that is what I was trying to do when I was lifted up and put outside of the room by nothing. That sounds weird but I swear I am out of the bedroom. I glanced around me with my mouth open wide in surprise when the door banged close with Ryker still inside “Ryker” I got up running over to the door trying to open it, I banged onto it while calling out his name to open the door when smoke started going out of the room again ‘What is going on?’

“Get back” I snapped my eyes to Felix.

“Thank God your here, Ryker is locked in there and the room is smoking, he might suffocate but I can’t get in since the door is locked” I tried explaining as fast as I can while pulling him to the door “Could you open it”

“I will need you to stay back” he opened the door like I wasn’t struggling to get it open in the last seconds.

“I am going in” I tried getting in but he caught my hand pushing me back before banging the door close in my face “Felix open this damn door” I growled banging onto the door “Open the door” I yelled, banged but he wasn’t opening it. This isn’t ending here, I am going to get into that room and see Ryker whether they want it or not.

Chapter 34

Stop ignoring signs, they might be leading you somewhere great or helping you from something dangerous……

I came back to the door with my hammer, nothing is ever going to stand between me and Ryker. I lifted the hammer up before bringing it to the door hard and even if it didn’t break I hit it again and again and again until I got a crack. I hit the door again, with each hit creating more cracks and even if I am in a hurry to see Ryker, I have to first focus on the thing standing between me and him. I hit the door again until the lock finally broke.

I threw the hammer down running inside to find a black burn in the carpet where Ryker was laying when I got thrown out of the room by something I don’t want to get into. I glanced on the bed to find Ryker laying down with Felix seated next to him “Ryker” I called running over to him, his eyes are back to normal but he still looks weak “How are you feeling, should we go to the hospital, are you still feeling cold, you were smoking we need to ask a doctor” he put his hand over mine and his hand isn’t as hot as it was before “Ryker” I cried hugging him, I was so scared that something bad happened and that is why Felix was keeping me out of the room.

“Ryker, don’t forget what we talked about” Felix mumbled making me pull out of the hug.

“What did you talk about?” I asked looking down at Ryker who has his eyes on Felix “Is it something bad, did you find out what is wrong, is he going to die oh my God your going to die, isn’t it?” I asked tears cascading down my face forgetting how to breath. The thought of losing Ryker just seems like the end of life all together, it feels like if he dies I will never survive without him.

“No, am not dying” Ryker replied pulling himself up into a sitting position as I helped him “It is just…..” He glanced at Felix not continuing with what he was about to say, the eye contact between them went on for some time.

“It is just what?” I asked trying to get them out of their intense eye contact.

“Ryker this just can’t keep happening” Felix suddenly voiced out getting off of the bed with frustration on his face “Your going to get yourself killed then get him killed if your not careful”

“We will talk later” Ryker dismissed his eyes going to me showing Felix that he wasn’t willing to have that conversation right now, whatever that conversation was. Felix sighed but didn’t say anything as he walked out leaving me and Ryker, it is amazing how he knew that Ryker was in trouble and came here just in time.

“I didn’t know Felix was a doctor” I said Ryker’s hand never leaving mine.

“Why would you think he is one”

“He came and all of the sudden your fine without needing a doctor” I voiced out my theory “Are you really feeling better” I have to make sure, he was hot. I touched his face and his temperature is back to normal “What did Felix mean about getting yourself killed, are you taking Something that led to this”

“No, it’s not that” he replied staring up like he is in thoughts.

“Tell me what is bothering you” I moved my hand up and down his face, he shifted getting off of the bed “Where are you going, are you feeling bad again” I asked getting over him to see if he is feeling bad again, if he may need a hospital this time.

“Will you stop asking questions” Ryker growled in anger his eyes turning red.

“I just want to make sure your okay” I kept my voice calm, he is sick and I don’t need him stressing out “You should get back down, you may need some rest”

“I don’t need anything just leave me alone”

“Am trying to take care of you do-”

“Stop taking care of me” his voice was full of disappointment and anger but I don’t know if they are directed to me or him. He trapped his lower lip between his teeth “I don’t deserve it” this time it came out dejected. He looked completely dejected with his eyes mixed with purple and yellow.

“Don’t say that” I pushed him back onto the bed making him sit down. I stood between his legs taking his face in my hands “You can never say you don’t deserve me taking care of you, you took care of me at my lowest, I am like this because of you. Your letting me stay in your house, your providing everything to me, a stranger who you once hated-”

“I have never hated you” I thought- I, I just thought he hated me since I kind of hated him too back then but that is not what we have to get into right now

“This isn’t about that, my point is. I want to take care of you and not because you took care of me, I would have taken care of you even if you didn’t because I care about you Ryker so much, more than anyone can describe. I want to do this and never say you don’t deserve it because you do, I am the one that doesn’t deserve you or your kindness….” I trailed off when he put his hand over my mouth shutting me up making my heart pound while my eyes danced between his now yellow eyes and lips, his head started moving forward and I felt like it took hours with my anticipation hitting the roof, waiting for his lips to reach mine, i wanted his lips on mine and when he attached our lips I melted.

The feeling over powering everything I have ever experienced in my life. What I dreamed about with him was good but this is better, he started moving his lips and I could feel his tongue on my lips asking for entrance. I opened my mouth giving him access. The kiss was slow and tender with his tongue massaging mine, his lips sending shock waves in my body, all the craving I have been feeling, the longing I had all being fulfilled by his lips. Ryker pulled away when we needed air, my head delirious, I opened my foggy eyes that I know are watering because of the kiss.

I felt Ryker’s hands on my cheek wiping away my tears. I blinked a few times until I got my vision back staring at Ryker’s handsome face, he doesn’t know how long I have struggled to feel his lips on mine. I opened my mouth to say something but what, what deserves to be added to that amazing kiss “How are you feeling?” He finally broke the silence pushing my now longer hair behind my ear. I nodded my throat not working “If I kiss you again would that be okay”

‘Okay?’ is he kidding me, that would more than okay. I attached my lips onto his without replying to his question, nothing about him is ever wrong, this is good and it keeps getting better. I never thought I would ever kiss him like this, feel his tongue in my mouth, get to taste his lips because I thought he was straight but no, something is happening and I want it to keep happening, I don’t care why it is happening in the first place, all I know is that it is happening and I love it, the rest is history. I pulled back to get air in my lungs again, we like breathing but it certainly becomes a problem when kissing someone you don’t want to ever let go of.

“It is one billion times okay”

Chapter 35

Let’s get naked for our date….

If anyone has ever asked who is the happiest person in the world that would be me. I am on the moon, is that so close, should I say Jupiter, how far is Jupiter? I don’t know and I don’t care I am just so over the moon happy. Ryker kissed me and even if we didn’t talk about it, I know it was something sweet that we shared, a moment so great it deserved to be recorded so that it can last forever. I know it will last forever in my mind but still I need evidence.

Some may think it didn’t happen, hell I would say it didn’t happen if Ryker didn’t confirm it did this morning when I finally woke up in his chest. He was with me in the morning and I finally got a chance to see how he looks like in the morning and he looks gorgeous, puffy but still whatever you can do to that face it will still be gorgeous as always and I would still love it like I do now, can he ever do anything that will ever make me fall out of love with him, their is nothing that can do that.

Anyway the kiss was great and all but something even better happened. It was noon, we had finished lunch together because Ryker didn’t go to work today and I am glad, he might say he is fine but I don’t believe that, he was so sick yesterday so I am still doubtful about that. We kissed again because we can and I wanted to ‘I finally got the man’ I wish I could get up on the tallest building in the world and yell, just to show how I finally got Ryker Fox to kiss me and take me on a date. Yes, he asked me out on lunch and told me he wanted to take me on a date, even if we didn’t leave the house he organised something special for me.

I don’t know how he did it or what room we are in exactly but it’s beautiful. The room isn’t big, it has nice colours for a change, light green, a table in the middle with food covered and a bottle of water. There is some slow music playing in the back ground with, red roses on the floor. It is so romantic and to make it better, Ryker made it for me. I am on a date with Ryker, I still can’t believe it. He looks as hot as ever in his blue suit while I am wearing a stupid Jean and a shirt since I have no clothes and Ryker refused to let me go buy some clothes for my date, how is he allowed to look that great when I look like well…. me, I should have gotten time to buy some new clothes for my date.

“You don’t look happy” he asked pouring us some wine.

“I hate my clothes”

“I think you look great” I rolled my eyes, these jeans don’t look good on me and my weapon here is my ass but how will he see it if I am in these clothes “You can stay naked, I won’t mind” My face turned red as I tried hiding under my glass of wine “If your shy I can join you”

“No need am good” I mumbled sipping on my wine. He got up and pulled off his coat then his shirt showing his packed abs “What are you doing?”

“Making you feel comfortable” This isn’t the way, the only thing this is accomplishing is making me flustered. He pulled out his belt then took off his pants remaining in his boxer-briefs “Does this help” And he has the nerve to ask, no it didn’t it just made me hard now am hard and flustered “Are you going to take off to, so that we can match” he asked taking a seat

“Am good” I am not getting naked, he has seen my body like a million times that I don’t care about him seeing my scars but still, I am no competition to that.

“So your going to make me look like the old man out”

“Fine” I smiled getting up, I pulled my shirt over my head, pulled my jeans down remaining in my trucks “You happy”

“Definitely” I squirmed at the look in his eyes, I am naked and it feels like he is undressing me even more than I am.

“This is the weirdest date I have ever been on”

“Why?”

“For starters, we are both naked” I pointed out the obvious reason why it is weird “Secondly I am with you on a date”

“Why is that weird?”

“I thought your straight but then I am here with you and…..what are you doing?” I asked when he got up making his way to my side. He pulled me up into his arms before crushing my lips onto his in a rough but still passionate kiss. I think he felt my struggle to keep up when he toned it down squeezing my ass making me moan breaking the kiss. His big hard on is on my thigh making me feel more excited, his eyes have a predatory sight in them, his eyes dancing around with colours “Ah” I moaned again tiptoeing wrapping my hands around his neck as he got me up his hands not once leaving my ass “Ah”

He breathed hard on my neck and I could feel him getting hot again. I pulled his head from my neck getting concerned again but I gasped seeing his teeth prodding out of his mouth like a vampire. He let go of me that I fell down sitting on my ass as he turned away from me growling like an animal “Ryker” I called getting up running over to him “Ryker, what’s happening?” I called touching his back that is so hot, he is burning up again. He growled turning his head to me and it looks like an animal, like a dog perhaps maybe, I don’t know.

I felt stuck in my place, I wasn’t scared but I was concerned about him. He looks to be in pain and the worst part is I don’t know what to do, or how to help him out when he is so hot and smoking again “What do you want me to do?” I asked, something is going on with him and I think he knows what it is, he just has to let me in and let me help him out. Ryker growled staring at the door, his bones started cracking when the door burst open and in walked really three big white wolves ‘I was not scared before but I am now’ they snarled at Ryker as he growled back.

I moved closer to Ryker scared of the people who have just entered, a tall guy entered wearing dark clothes with a cape his head down that I couldn’t see his face. If Ryker’s growl could get louder it did and I could see his hands sinking into the ground “Hello son” the guy said lifting his head up, just looking at him I didn’t want him anywhere near me or Ryker because of the vibes that I am getting from him, I got closer to Ryker wanting to hold him but he is hot that I can’t, he is panting, sweat falling down his smoking body “Get him” the guy ordered pointing at me, ‘What?’ why me. I don’t want Ryker to be taken but I also don’t want to. I shook my head crawling back while shaking my head no, where do they want to take me.

“Cole run “ Ryker’s voice came out desperate as he finally fell down on his back. The wolves stood in next to me and one of them shifted right in front of my eyes making me yell out in fear wanting to run back to Ryker.

“Ryker” I called trying to run out of where I am being trapped when the naked guy who has just moved from wolf to human caught me in his arms. I fought punching him my eye on Ryker, he is sick they can’t take me away from him, I need to be here with him.

“I told you this son” the guy mumbled holding Ryker’s hair and cheek “I always win” the guy said when a red light came into his hands, my eyes widened that is the light that came from the guy from my dreams that used to torture that child in the dark room, where I think I got all of these scars. Ryker passing out pulled me from my thoughts and I yelled wanting to go to him, I fought trying to get off of the guy’s back to let me go when suddenly something passed through me making me pass out.

Chapter 36

What is the cost to fight for the one you love…..

A yell pulled me out of my night mare that I was having about the guy who used to torture that kid in the dark room. He was now torturing someone that I couldn’t see a face of but this time it wasn’t a kid. The guy is so evil, now he is torturing someone else ‘I wonder what happened to that boy’ another yell made me turn my head to the side to find Ryker seated on the floor tied to the wall with red chains.

Red things seem to be passing through his body. I jerked up when he suddenly yelled contracting his muscles like he was in pain “Ryker” I called getting up from the floor in a hurry which was a mistake because my head felt heavy and the dizziness sent me back down to my knees. I looked back at Ryker forcing myself up on my legs running over to him

“Don’t touch me” he said through gritted teeth when I tried touching his hand. He suddenly yelled again, I tried touching the chains to make them break when something so strong, just like the last thing that passed through me when Ryker fainted passed through my body that I passed out again.

I woke up again when someone yanked me up, I opened my eyes to see what was going on only for my eyes to land on Ryker who is heaving on the floor with the same red staff passing through his body “Let me go” I fought for the guy to let me go so that I can go to Ryker. I elbowed him which gave me leverage to kick his leg creating some separation between us. I got the chair that was close to me swinging it on his head so hard it broke into pieces but the guy didn’t fall or seem affected by it.

“I didn’t know he was a fighter” A voice came from behind me. I turned to find the guy who tried to kill me in the hospital, I held the stick from the chair I just broke pointing it at him.

“Don’t come near me” I said moving away from the two. The guy who has just came in raised his arms with a smile but I wasn’t joking, if I get a chance to pass this stick into him I will take it “Untie him” I ordered pointing at Ryker “Untie him now” I ordered again when no one made a move to do what I just said yer Ryker seems to be in pain and that is the last place I want to see Ryker in.

“I like that but you don’t make the orders” the guy said his face set in anger staring at Ryker “Put the stick down or he gets hurt” I glanced between the two, I can’t risk putting my weapon down.

“Untie him” I ordered again, those things have to get off of him before anything else, they are hurting him. What kind of evil people are they, Ryker screamed out again his body jerking in pain, my weapon seemed to fall out of my hands as I ran over to him and untie him myself but I was caught before I could reach “Let me go, let me go” I cried

“Didn’t you learn your lesson already, if you touch him you die” I don’t care as long as I get him out of those things, I kept thrusting my legs up willing to kick him but he has got so much power holding me onto his chest that I couldn’t move

“Stop hurting him please” I begged when my chances to get free become so slim and Ryker is hurting “Please don’t hurt him, just let him go” The guy holding me chuckled as if he is amused, he is hurting Ryker yet he is laughing as if nothing is happening.

“If you want me to let him go you have to do as I tell you”

“Anything” I said as fast as I could when Ryker’s body stopped jerking, he laid down breathing heavily looking tired, I need to get him out of here before the evil people try anything else.

“All you have to do is say ‘I Cole Relish reject Ryker Fox as my mate’ and all of this will be over” Why does he want me to say that, I asked myself looking at Ryker, who is staring at me now his eyes filled with fear that I have never seen before in my life and suddenly I feel like those words won’t do us any good.

“You just said them, why do you want me to repeat them” I replied my eyes on Ryker studying his face, he was in pain before and didn’t look scared like when this guy said those words he seemed scared out of the blue that I don’t want to say them now. They might not be the solution to this.

“Just say the damn words” the guy ordered throwing me down, I moved my eyes from Ryker to the guy who is fuming staring at me “Say the words” he said pulling my hair taking me near Ryker “Say the words” I zoned him out, I don’t know what is happening, I don’t know why we are kidnapped and why this guy is trying to make me say those words but I know one thing, Ryker knows something and I don’t want to create more harm that good in this situation that we are in.

I leered in Ryker’s eyes trying to find the answer I needed in them. I studied his emotions that he hides very well, today he is displaying them very clearly and they have fear and worry in them. I may not know what is going on but I know he doesn’t want me to say those words to him “It’s going to be okay” I mumbled tears falling down my eyes, I don’t want to get him hurt but he also doesn’t want me to say it.

“Say what I told you to say” the guy ordered again pulling my hair painfully. I put my hand up catching him off guard, I pulled his head onto the chains that were holding Ryker down. They both cried out in pain and I know I am hurting Ryker too but I need to kill this guy, he yelled trying to fight the red light that was consuming his body through his face, I yelled too pushing his head harder onto the chains. I didn’t get a chance to burn him more when I got yanked away from them throwing me in the middle of the warehouse, I groaned in pain but I wasn’t giving up, I need to take Ryker out of here.

“Is the human too hard for you to handle” a dangerous voice sounded from behind me making me stop in my tracks. I turned around slowly to find the guy that creeps the shit out of me staring right back at me with red eyes. I was in so much fear I tripped on my own leg falling onto my ass, he squat down next to me his eyes moving all over me “Detective Cole Relish, we finally meet”

“Who are you?” My voice was not welcoming, even though I want to know who he is I hate his guts so much even before knowing him I know I am going to hate him with every bone in my body.

“Wyatt Calderon”

Chapter 37

Storytime….

“Wyatt Calderon” the guy introduced his face as blank as a white wall “He didn’t tell you about me?” The guy said when my face didn’t change when he said his name.

“Should he have told me about you?” I asked with a scowl on my face, Ryker has never told me anything but if he did I bet he would never tell me about him.

“Why don’t we ask him that” he said getting up “Aren’t you coming?” I got up too after picking up a stick ready to stick it in his eye but something caught my hand mid air and no matter how hard I fought my hand was being blocked by some red things, this guy has powers ‘and I thought this kind of staff was only in movies’ but look where I am “We should learn to keep our trust” he said squeezing my hand until I let go of the stick. When the stick fell down the thing holding my hand let it go “We were going to talk to him, now let us keep violence aside and talk”

“Why don’t you let him go first?”

He glanced at Ryker then back at me “He is a violent one” Ryker is not violent at all. I followed him when the other guy put two chairs a few feet from Ryker, he took one as he patted the next chair but I passed it going to Ryker’s side. The guy I burned glared at me with his bleeding face “That is my son Edmond, I see you have destroyed his face”

“He deserved it, he was doing the same thing to Ryker” I replied matching his glare before looking back at Ryker and I was smart enough not to touch him this time, those red staff burn “How are you feeling?” I asked ignoring the rest of them.

“I forgot to tell you, he can’t speak” I ignored whoever said that my eyes not once leaving Ryker.

“Am going to get you out of here, don’t worry” I comforted wanting so bad to touch him so that he can know I am here.

“If you knew what he did, you wouldn’t be caring about him” Wyatt said

“Shut up, you know nothing” I pointed at him “You’re just the bastard who is hurting him”

“I know everything about him, I am his father” say what now? I heard him call him son but I thought you know since he is old. Old people tend to call everyone son but let us back up a little. If he is his father then why is hurting him, why is this like this, why are we here. I know parents aren’t the best people in the world but still, isn’t kidnapping and torturing your own son a bit too far “Do you even know anything about him”

“I know enough to know your not a good guy”

“Good guys, bad guys where is the difference when we all are willing to do anything to get what we want”

“By hurting innocent people, your hurting your son for goodness sake. Is that what you mean by willing to do anything to get what you want”

“My son is anything but innocent”

“We all have some monsters in our closets, it doesn’t make us evil” I clarified, I am not saying that Ryker is innocent but still he doesn’t deserve what is happening to him and most especially from his father. Wyatt stared at me blankly as if contemplating with something in his head with his hand on his chin “What do I have to do for you to let him go” that is all I need to know

“My son already told you”

“First tell me what will happen if I say it”

“You don’t need to know about that” I scoffed ignoring him completely now, if they are not going to tell me what it does then I am not opening my mouth “You don’t have to get involved in this, I will let you go safely and help you get back to your life”

“Who said I want my life back?” That is the last thing in my mind, I only want where Ryker is.

“Did you know he is the one that ruined your life” Wyatt said and I heard chains clicking making me look back at Ryker who is shaking his head.

“Stop hurting him” I ordered glaring at Wyatt

“Am not, he just doesn’t want you to find out what he did” Wyatt leaned in front with his elbows on his thighs “You might care about him but I am telling you, he is not worthy. He has been lying to you all this time, why do you think you went to the mental hospital after a wonderful night with him”

“That didn’t happen”

“Has my son ever told you who he really is or did he just show you what he wanted you to see” Wyatt said his eyes on Ryker who is glaring at him like he wants him dead, I know I would too “i would like to tell you a little more about my son. He only cares about himself, he has never cared about you as his mate. Your just being blinded by love that was provided to you by the moon goddess-”

“What are you talking about?, What is a mate?” Wyatt’s eyes widened as he looked back at his son Edmond then Ryker and finally me, why are they acting like I have just asked something extraordinary when he is the one that said it. It’s not my fault I would like to know about that, he said it.

“Do you know anything at all, do you even know he is a wolf or did he hide that from you too” the disbelief in Wyatt’s voice had me get intrigued but I trust Ryker. He didn’t tell me for a reason plus I was not in a good place back then.

“He will tell me when he is ready”

“Let me tell you a story” Wyatt leaned back in his chair, I wanted to tell him that I don’t want to know but he started his story “A story about Sigrid Fox, the love of my life. Lord thoricus created vampires and sent them to the earth to mingle with humans, God’s creation. Thoricus’ plan was to make his creation the best, they didn’t need food to live, they didn’t need sleep. They were the perfect specimen to survive every weather but what Thoricus didn’t count for was that they needed blood to survive, they became monsters as others call them but I call it survival, they needed blood so they fed humans. Lord Thoricus wanted to create another creature to correct his mistake, he created a laypole but as the first one, they were so evil and they wanted to rule. Laypoles and vampires started a war, every creature wanted to show it was the best. They started destroying earth and that led the Goddess to bring out her three wolves that protected her to come save earth. They joined the battle, fought to show who the strongest creature was but they didn’t finish the fight as they were killed off angering our Goddess”

“She created many wolves sending them to avenge her wolves and now the war between three creatures became strong, no one was backing down, humans died until Lord Thoricus and the Goddess came together creating there best creation ever. They spent a thousand of years perfecting her into a true warrior, the best warrior, the strongest creature. She was created to save the world and stop the battle save humans from getting extinct. They wanted to create peace again and who is to do that than a strong woman. She arrived and she did what she was meant to do, she stopped the war, vampires ran in the shadows and hid but refused to let her be there queen, Laypoles were defeated and they stayed under her rule. She was feared, respected, she brought peace, wiped all the human’s brains from remembering about us, everything went back to normal and everyone lived in peace”

“She was the best, I admired her, I wanted to be with her, I fell in love with her but I knew I had not chance since I was just a low ranked wolf” he clunched his fists as if in anger before sighing continuing “Until one day she saw me, she fell in love with me ‘That is what I thought at first’ even when no one accepted me because of my rank, no one wanted me to be king, in all that I stayed true to her because loved her more than anything and she showed that she did love me too even when everyone said I wasn’t worthy of standing next to their queen, I stayed. I gave them a heir but not even that got them to respect me, I got sick and tired of people humiliating me, I asked her for one thing, I asked her to share her power with me so that we can be seen as equals and she refused, she said no. She wanted to kick me out, telling me that the only thing she has ever wanted from me was a child and she has already gotten that, she was evil, she threw me out of the pack, I became nothing and they all laughed at me. She was just as evil as anyone else, she left me with nothing not even my child” he looked at me “What would you have done if that is how you were treated by the one you loved, he is just like his mother, he is a user. He will throw you away after he uses you”

“Ryker would never do that to me” he might have been thrown out by Ryker’s mother but our parents actions don’t describe us. I can never leave my child alone just like how my parents did to me

“Your just being naive, he has been lying to you” Edmond interjected.

“And I have to believe someone who tried to murder me instead of the one who saved me” I scoffed “If you said all of that to make me betray him then your all mistaken, I would rather die than ever betray him”

“Y-” Wyatt put his hand up stopping Edmond right before he could say anything.

“Ask him if he didn’t drive you insane” Wyatt said pointing at Ryker.

“I trust him, just let us go” Wyatt raised his hand and red light came all around me. It didn’t hurt but Ryker kept on pulling the chains trying to break them “Your not going to force me to do anything” I said confidently closing my eyes ready for any pain to come but nothing came forcing me to open my eyes.

“I want Ryker to tell you the truth or I hurt you”

“Ryker don’t worry, you don’t have- Argh” I screamed out in pain, it feels like a truck sitting on me not allowing me to breathe “Ryker don’t” I panted out when the pain decreased.

“You have a choice, did you drive your mate crazy, yes or no” Wyatt asked staring at Ryker who has his eyes on me and the light. I could see anger in his red eyes as he turned his eyes to his father.

“ Yes “

Chapter 38

What are you willing to do for the one you love….

Wyatt put his red light off of me as soon as Ryker accepted. I was still in shock but also in disbelief, Ryker would never do that to me I just started seeing things that weren’t real and that is what drove me nuts “He would never do that to me, you threatened him” I argued looking at Wyatt “Your such a coward threatening someone so that they can say what you want them to say, your own son, what kind of father are you”

“The kind who wants power” Wyatt’s voice was dangerous making me shiver in disgust taking a few steps back “I will kill everyone if I have to, stop tasting my patience human and just reject him”

“I will not”

“You think he cares about you huh” Wyatt said getting up, he took my collar banging me onto the wall his eyes red “He has never cared about you, all he has ever done was drive you nuts, cause all of those scars on your body, made your parents run away from you, made you lose your job, he rejected you from time to time. You think your suicidal, he rejected you that is why you wanted to kill yourself, he has kept on rejecting you again and again and your here trying to defend that piece of shit who has showed you nothing but pain that he has caused you all those years, that is the person you want to care for. He has just accepted what he did and you still believe him, I thought you had some brain but I see I am wasting my time, I will kill him”

He put me down before walking over to Ryker pushing so much red staff into him that Ryker yelled out, thrusting on the ground in pain “Stop, don’t kill him” I tried stopping him, touching his hand but Edmond held me in place “Please don’t, stop” I cried fighting to get to him, Ryker can’t die, he can’t die on me not today “I will say it, I will say it please stop hurting him” Wyatt turned to me but didn’t stop blasting Ryker with his red magic.

“If you mess with me one more time he is dead”

“I won’t” I promised and he stopped, I ran over to Ryker wanting to touch him and ask if he is okay.

“Go get the instruments” Wyatt ordered behind me “Say it now”

“Don’t say anything” Ryker’s voices came out stronger than I expected.

“Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine” I comforted “We are going to get out of here, everything is going to be fine okay”

“B-”

“I love you so much” I cut him off “And I am willing to do anything for you”

“Cole, if you say it, it is not helping me, it is you killing me, you can’t say it”

“You have two seconds or he is dead” Wyatt said, I glanced at Ryker smiling at him.

“It’s going to be fine” The fear in his eyes is real “I Cole Relish-”

“Cole no” Ryker said getting to his knees wanting to touch me but he remembered the red light “You can’t do this”

“Reject you….Ryker Fox…..as my….mate” Ryker did everything to try and stop me but I said it anyway and the moment I finished saying those words a tear slid down his face. I wanted to take it back, he was being tortured and not once did he cry but me saying those words made him cry “Ryker it is fine” I tried comforting him, he was going to get killed. This is the only way I could save him, for now.

“No, everything is wrong” he mumbled staring at me in fear “Just know I love you so much and none of this is your fault” he started coughing blood “I love you” I stared at him in shock, fear and worry. I should be happy that he said ‘i love you’ but I have no time when he is coughing blood.

“What is going on?” I asked wanting to touch him, I watched him cough out blood while holding his chest “Ryker” Someone carried me away from him “Let me go, we have to help him” Edmond didn’t reply. Wyatt moved to Ryker squatting next to him with a wide smile.

“I told you, never have a weakness” Wyatt said getting up laughing like a maniac. A long table with four men was brought in, the table isn’t like normal table it looks like a maze with small passages going through it “Untie him” Wyatt ordered moving to the guys who have come in. Two guys walked over to Ryker and as the red staff disappeared the chains were opened, they picked the very sick Ryker walking him over the table with me watching feeling defense less, I brought this on him, I made him sick now they are going to hurt him.

“When this is over, I am going to make you pay” Edmond threatened in my ear ‘disgusting’ his breath feels bad on my skin that I felt like I wanted to wash it off but this isn’t the time and he is the least of my worries.

“Ryker” I called wanting him to look at me, please just look at me, he had lost hope when I looked into his eyes, the moment he turned to me and I want to show him that this isn’t the end “I love you” he should know that I love him even with all of this but I need him to be strong and have faith. Edmond suddenly started growling really loud that he let go of me staring up. Everyone else in the room started growling as the guys who were holding up Ryker let him go falling to the ground. I don’t know why they are growling but it damn sound scary.

“Don’t let them stop us” Wyatt ordered making me wonder who, I didn’t have to wonder that much when big wolves entered the building from all directions. Edmond plus the rest also shifted into their wolves, I wonder how I am still alive after all if this but I am, I didn’t focus on the fight going on around me when I ran over to Ryker. I need to take him out if here immediately.

“Hey, can you hear me” I asked holding his face, his eyes have a white and pale red in them “Come on, get up we have to leave” I said trying to get him off of the ground as Wyatt and the rest are still distracted, pulling his form into a sitting position as he coughed hard “It’s okay, force yourself” I was still pulling him up when I got yanked away from him.

“He is going nowhere” Wyatt growled staring at me, I am taking Ryker out of here weather he wants it or not. I don’t care if he has magic or not I will fight until my last breath and get Ryker out of here.

“He is leaving with me” I opposed getting up from the ground.

“I can kill you before you can form your next words” Wyatt said lifting his hand up. I pulled the chain he had on Ryker putting but on his hand before he can do his magic shit on me pulling him to the table “It’s my magic, it can’t affect me”

“It can destruct you” I replied looking at Felix who punched Wyatt on the head throwing him into the wall “Come help me with Ryker” I said running over to Ryker, with Felix it was easy getting him off of the floor walking him out. Ryker groaned his legs giving up “Ryker please force yourself we have to get out of here” I looked back to see Wyatt staring at us in anger and at the pace we are going we won’t make it. He will catch up with us in no time and if I want Ryker safe I need to do something as Felix takes him out if here “I have to destruct him, take Ryker out of here” I said looking at Felix taking his hand “Keep him safe” I turned to Ryker to tell him goodbye because this might be the last time I see him but he caught my hand and without knowing what happened I was at the side of the road with both Ryker and Felix “What was that?”

“He is weak, we need to get him to the pack” Felix ignored me picking Ryker up again. I have so many questions floating in my head but I have to first let them sit and first take care of Ryker. I didn’t ask I helped him get Ryker off of the ground and we started walking but we will need a car to get us out of here. We tried walking with Ryker who is losing blood and groaning and I know if we don’t hurry I might lose him, that is the one thing I can’t let happen. I was glad when I saw a car coming our way.

I let go of Ryker standing in the middle of the road my hands up. I can’t risk him passing us by, I waved my hands up and when he reached he stopped “We need a ride”

“Sure get in” the guy was kind enough to allow us in. Felix and Ryker got into the back seat as I got into the passenger seat staring at Felix. I am new with all of this and I need him to tell me where we have to go. He gave the kind gentleman the address of the CC’s and he drove off with me asking him to drive as fast as he can. We have a sick person that will need attention anytime soon. When we reached the entire CC was staring at us as we passed Ryker through.

We got into the elevator that took us down in the basement, I don’t know why we are at the CC but Felix clearly knows what to do in this situation and I don’t so I have to follow his instructions because I have realized that this isn’t a human case as the ones that I am used to, people have powers and some use them in the wrong way to hurt others, someone can shift from human to a wolf and vice versa. I didn’t know things like this could happen until now, we reached a house and we rested Ryker on the couch “I thought you were taking him to the hospital” Ryker is sick and we are putting him on a couch, I thought we brought him here to get checked out.

“How long since you rejected him” Felix asked staring at Ryker.

“It has to be two hours” he turned his head to me.

“Two hours?” He asked and I nodded, I don’t know the exact time but I guess it is two hours “Why is he still on the first step of rejection”

“What do you mean first step?”

“He shou- Ryker did he finish the rejection” Ryker nodded opening his eyes, he has stopped coughing and his eyes now are a mix or purple and yellow.

“I felt the rejection but I don’t know it doesn’t feel like it is supposed to be” Ryker explained and if you ask who is lost during this entire exchange it has to be me, I get nothing of what they are talking about.

“How come the rejection is not full if you rejected him” Felix asked looking at me

“I don’t even know what your talking about”

“The moment you reject him, he has to get sick and by now he has to be on his final stage which is death but the rejection is still at its first stage….it hasn’t even finished the first stage”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” I don’t know why they are taking it as a bad thing if he is still doing fine and not dead. I can’t believe Wyatt had played me, either way Ryker would die and he had lied to me, I wonder why he wanted me to say those words. He had a chance to just kill him but he wanted me to reject him which would have killed him either way, so confusing.

“It is good but we need to know why it is slow, will it move to stage two or will it not. If you said the rejection correctly then it should move up”

“I just said what they wanted me to say” I replied not getting anything, I just need to know if Ryker is going to be fine “Does it require my real name?” I asked, they both turned to me.

“Cole Relish isn’t your name” Ryker asked and I shook my head no, Relish is not my last name, it is my dad’s middle name “What is your name?”

“Cole Adam Relish Vadamonte”

Chapter 39

Truth, we always want the truth but are we ready for it, are we ready for the hole it will leave in our hearts?…..

“Cole Adam Relish Vadamonte” they stared at me as if I was a ghost. When I was born my parents told me my full name but said I shouldn’t use Vadamonte because dad had problems with his father, I was never told of those problems but I grew up calling myself Cole Relish and that was my assigned name at birth

“Why don’t you use your last name?” Ryker asked

“My parents told me to never use it” I replied “Does this mean the rejection wasn’t full because of my name”

“Yeah” Felix replied with a sigh of relief sitting back down a small smile plastered on his lips “Thank Goddess, we would have all been killed if he got to you”

“So Ryker is fine” Felix nodded making me smile, I moved to Ryker hugging him tightly so glad we made it out alive and that he is safe “Am so glad your okay”

“Thanks to you” he replied pecking my cheek making me blush. I feel so relieved that he is safe and I can’t believe I would have killed him if I didn’t have a last name which has saved him, who knew that the name my dad never wanted me to use will save the man I love today, guess he was good at one thing after all.

“Wyatt is going to come get you” Felix said

“Good thing he thinks I am rejected, he will have a surprise coming his way” Ryker replied

“Shouldn’t he think your dead” I reminded, he dies after two hours, those have passed and he has to be taken as dead.

“He can feel me when I am alive but he will think I am weak because of the rejection which is going to give me an advantage and this time I am killing him”

“But he is your dad” he might be evil and all but he is still his father and killing him will just make Ryker a monster as he is. I hate my parents too and they weren’t as bad as Ryker’s father but I would just never want to see them again than kill them. I don’t even know what I would do if I ever saw them again, all I know is I don’t want to see them.

“He made me but he is nothing else, he is the man I want to kill”

“But he is just angry at Sigrid who treated him bad” he loved her and he just got treated bad in return

“My mother has never treated him with anything but kindness” Ryker said anger in his red eyes, I took his hand trying to calm him down.

“Then make me understand, he told me his side of the story tell me yours”

“Not now”

“Could you stop trying to keep secrets from me” now am the one who is angry, I am trying to be calm after what happened, being kidnapped by creatures with the only person who is supposed to know what was happening chained up, does he think it was a nice way to find out that the man I love is a wolf “I almost killed you today, if I knew what was happening I wouldn’t have made a mistake but you keep on keeping secrets from me and that is why we are here that is why I almost killed you”

“It’s a long story”

“I have nowhere to be” I clarified showing determination on my face, he has been hiding things from me and at first I didn’t care but now I do, I need to know everything. I need to know everything about the man I lovr

“Sigrid Fox is my mom, What he told you about her though is a lie” Ryker started after looking at Felix then to me “She was a great leader until she fell in love with Wyatt and they had me. Wyatt was jealous of everything she had, respect from all creatures, she had power that she didn’t use very often. She gave equality set rules, she had powers, her wolf being the strongest one out of all creatures. Wyatt was jealous of it all, she had told him about how she can transfer power from her to anyone she wanted. Wyatt thought since she was so in love with him that power would be transferred to him when she died”

“Wyatt killed Sigrid but the power he expected to be put in him didn’t, it was transferred to the child. Wyatt was unhappy about that, he took the kid running away from the pack where they wanted him dead for killing their queen. Everything got messy when they heard about the death of the queen, vampires came back to fight for leadership, Laypoles too wanted the same and wolves were searching for their new king who was kidnapped. When Wyatt took the baby, he had to wait for him to grow manipulate him into handing over his power. Wyatt trapped that kid into a dark room visiting once in a while, trying to transfer power and since the kid was still a baby, that had no control Wyatt managed to transfer some power into himself but he wanted it all”

“He tortured the kid year after year, he never let him see the light. The child grew up with the only thing he sees was the moon in that dark room. Wyatt waited for the kid to grow old enough so that he can make him do the spell then transfer the power into him. What Wyatt didn’t account for was for the child to do the spell that connected hint to his mate, it was an accidental spell but that set Wyatt back because now if the kid had chosen who he wanted to take his powers. Wyatt now had to look for the person who was connected to his son, he wanted them dead so that the powers will be transferred to him but he had no luck in finding the mate. All he had to do was force his son to disconnect with his mate”

“The kid was just happy watching his mate run around the house, play with his friends and he wished to have that too. He would watch a woman sing to his mate every night, the voice was calm, the kid had finally found happiness until the child found out the disadvantage of connecting with his mate through a spell. It also connected their bodies, what would happen to him would happen to his mate too, he had to watch his mate suffer as he tried to cancel the spell he did, he tried for a long time but it never worked. He lost hope, he gave up on trying until a voice in his head showed him what to do. It was his wolf, he had gotten his wolf and it knew something about the spells. One night they were able to disconnect with their mate but the spell they did had a side effect, it had hate. Their mate was to hate them for the rest of his life, they didn’t want that but at the moment it was the best they could have done to not keep on harming their mate-”

“Wait” I stopped him “Are you talking about yourself and me” I had to clarify what he is saying because I was the one who used to feel pain from nowhere then hated someone I didn’t know and when I saw him I hated him right away, the dark room also explains everything, the feeling I had when I was young of being watched.

“Yes” Now this explains all the scars I have, they were from Wyatt, now I support his death one hundred and twenty percent. He made my childhood miserable from that and he made Ryker’s childhood miserable too, what kind of father is that, now I can see how my parents weren’t that evil as Ryker’s parents are.

“That monster, he ruined my childhood you know. My parents left because of him, I have got scars all over my body, I was taken as someone who was sick”

“Technically it was me who connected-”

“Don’t try to justify his actions, I kind of Knew he was lying all along” I knew it in my heart, he was a dirty liar “He even tried to make me believe you drove me crazy, can you believe that” I scoffed but got no reaction from both of them in fact neither of them could catch my eye they were staring down “He was lying about that too right” I asked to confirm, I don’t like their looks of guilt “Fox, he was lying about that too right” I asked again getting scared when he didn’t answer “Fox”

“Am sorry”

“What are you sorry about?” I asked trying to not process what is going on because it will crush me. It has to be a lie, he lied about that too “Fox look at me” he did look at me “He was lying right?” I asked but the answer is written on his face, the guilt ness on his face gave me the answer I was dreading to see or hear “Please tell me it’s not true”

“Am sorry”

“Don’t apologize tell me it’s not true” I cried pulling his shirt, it is not true. It can’t be true, he can’t do something like that to me “please tell me it’s not true”

“I can’t” This is the hardest I have ever been hurt in my life that my body forgot how to function and all I wanted was to un hear this, I don’t want to remember it that I passed out telling myself it’s not true.

‘Ryker could never do that to me’

Chapter 40

The people we love the most, have the power to break us the best….

“Don’t come any closer” I warned my head in my legs, I am trying to process what I heard, trying to capture what he said to me. Why would he ever do that, why would he try to drive me crazy then pretend to be my night in shining armour yet he is the one that caused everything. I just can’t understand it, I don’t get it and I need him to elaborate why he would want to hurt me like that. Hurt me more than the people I thought I hated the most, my parents left me but he drove me crazy that my head is not sitting well with it.

Not even a day of sleeping did it make it better, it just feels worse that even looking at him I just don’t know what to feel. Hurt, anger, disappointed, I don’t know what to feel, was I expecting so much from him. Was I never wanted that he felt the need to drive me crazy just to take me out of his life “Cole” I lifted my head to look at him and his face just reminds me of what he did that I sobbed even harder “Am sorry”

“Why?” I wiped my eyes, I need to understand his reasons “Why would you do that? Why would drive me crazy, tell me why” the person I am willing to do everything for, the person I see everything in, why would he ever do that, why would he ever do this to me.

“I had a reason”

“That is what I want to hear” I cried out “Tell me the reason why you felt the need to drive me insane. Why you would come to sleep with me and deny it the next day, give me the reason why you would watch me cry in that hospital and not do anything. Why, why, what did I do to deserve that?” I just don’t get it, if I did something he would have come and said something not watch me lose my mind because of him “Was it about the investigations I used to do, you didn’t want me looking into your life, is that the reason”

“No”

“Then tell me the reason” I screamed, tears streaming down my face. I need to understand why he did it.

“I didn’t want you to get hurt” I frowned at his reason “Wyatt was searching for you and I couldn’t risk him getting to you, if he got to you, he would have gotten to me too and that would cause war between all the creatures”

“And your solution was to drive me nuts” I don’t get it, how does any of that have to do with me “And what do you mean get to me he will get to you”

“You are my mate” I nodded waiting for him to continue “If Wyatt got to you-”

“I have been hearing that word a lot, describe it. What is a mate?” I have a lot of questions but I need to get what a mate means in the first place. He has been saying it a lot

“When Wyatt killed my mother, the moon Goddess wanted to give everyone a gift. Someone that could never hurt them, someone who will be there for them and love them unconditionally. A mate is someone your destined to be with for the rest of your life”

“So I am that person, your mate” he nodded taking a seat at the edge of the bed “If it is someone who can’t hurt you then why did you hurt me” it just doesn’t make sense, didn’t he want me as his mate

“Your my weakness, if something happened to you I would die too and I didn’t want Wyatt to get to you”

“I am not getting any of this” I confessed wiping my tears “If I am your weakness why didn’t he kill me instead of wanting me to reject you and all”

“If you reject me it makes me weak, he can transfer my powers into himself and I can not transfer them to you because you had already rejected me but if he killed you then that would be another story” I nodded actually getting that part but it still doesn’t add up.

“Then what was the reason for you to drive me crazy” Nothing of what he has said has made sense in why I was driven crazy.

“When you broke the spell of hate” I nodded “It became hard for me to stay away from you, you were everywhere, coming to the CC’s. They were getting suspicious and I knew Wyatt had spies, I didn’t want anyone to know that your my mate, I had to hide it and I needed to find a way to keep you away to keep you safe-”

“And why didn’t you come talk to me, tell me the truth and what I had to do” he looked down and I can’t fuckin believe it “Ryker that is no reason enough for you to drive me crazy, I wanted to die. I felt useless, worthless, so embarrassed for thinking that I made up a night between you and me, I felt like a failure. What you did only made me want to die, I don’t see the point of you driving me crazy, it only took me to the edge of wanting to kill myself”

“That is not what I wanted it-”

“What did you want?” I asked with a scoff, someone with a childhood like mine going back to the same place he has tried hard to forget is unstable enough to get triggered and want to die, what did he expect I would feel.

“It wasn’t meant to be like that, I didn’t want anyone to know we slept together and I had to deny it but I was going to come at your place at night to explain. But then I found out you had already agreed to be admitted to-”

“Because I felt stupid, what did you think I would feel” I asked getting out of bed “You looked me in the eye and denied our night together, you had proof of how you weren’t in the country. You played with my emotions denying the best night I had had in ten years, you made me feel rejected”

“I was going to tell you the truth-”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because Wyatt was catching on”

“Stop blaming him for hurting me” I cried, he hurt me. He is the one that drove me crazy not Wyatt “You are supposed to hold me, make me feel safe but the only thing you accomplished in doing was hurt me every single day”

“Am sorry”

“Stop apologizing and tell me why you did it” I cried holding the wall, this feels like he has been the cause of all my troubles “You- you….my life was never perfect but then little by little I got up, I got my dream job and even though things felt off a lot of time I was there, I was fine” I turned to him sniffing “Then you appeared and I hated you so much I wanted to kill you, then suddenly a voice in my head telling me to break the spell-”

“My wolf Reece, he wanted to be with you and I didn’t want to break the spell so he wanted you to break it”

“Oh my God….I can’t do this” Now a wolf was the animalistic voice I used to hear in my head. I don’t know what to say but I know one thing, I need to leave this place right now or I will burst. I made my way to the door leaving the room. I just can’t take this anymore, all of this is messed up and I wish it was someone else who did this. It being Ryker just makes this heart breaking, I just feel like I want to be alone, I don’t want anything, I don’t want him. I just want to be alone somewhere and die in my own sadness.

“Cole you can’t leave, Wyatt will kill you”

“Fox, I just can’t stand to be here, I can’t stand being anywhere around you.” I pulled my hand out of his grip “I just don’t want to love you right now, I want to hate you, I want to hate you with every being in my body but I just can’t seem to do it” I wiped my tears trying to calm me down “I don’t care if Wyatt kills me, I have already lost you and without you am good as dead”

“But am here”

“Keep your distance Mr. Fox” I put my hand out “I don’t care if your here, you have already caused enough damage to me and I don’t want to be anywhere near you”

“Cole-”

“I loved you” I cried holding his chest looking up and him “I have loved you so much but….what you did Ryker, I don’t know if I ever want to see you again” I said truthfully, I want to know the truth but what he did, I don’t think I want to ever see him again in my life. I took two steps back tears falling down, my heart breaking like I am about to die, I feel like I am about to die because of him. I expected so much than that, I have never expected him to treat me like that. Something hit up making the entire building shake, that made me halt in my steps glancing up and the building that is shaking “Are you doing this”

He can cause earth quakes, this can be him maybe trying to stop me from going anywhere “No, Wyatt is here” I nodded looking everywhere, I have been scared but right now I am so hurt Wyatt doesn’t scare me at all “Stay here, I will be back”

“I want to go with you”

“No, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you” He has already hurt me a lot and this isn’t going to change a thing. Him protecting me from his father doesn’t wipe out the fact that he hurt me more that Wyatt could have.

“The worst has already happened” I replied walking back into the room after seeing hurt in his eyes. Wyatt is the least thing I am scared of, the one thing that I have been terrified of has happened so no, Wyatt can’t hurt me more than he has hurt me.

Chapter 41

I don’t want to kill myself but I am also not scared when it does happen, I am fine if it happens….

I sat down on the bed, wiping away the tears that are flowing like unending river. I have just found out that the person I love the most has been the cause of all my trauma. Every single bad thing that has ever happened to me was because of him but I still can’t force my heart to not care, that right now he is fighting his father. My heart is unsettled what if Ryker gets hurt by Wyatt or what if Wyatt kills him.

I have witnessed one thing and that is that Wyatt is very powerful, I don’t know what Ryker is capable of but Wyatt seems powerful. I shouldn’t care, I should only feel hate but I can’t even feel that for him, I can’t feel the hate I used to feel for him and I don’t know if I want to. Maybe this is a sign that I was never meant to be with anyone, I was meant to be alone and die alone because if the only person that was meant for me hurt me like this then I was meant to be alone.

I don’t deserve anyone and no one deserves me, I am not enough even when my love was enough for him. I gave my all to him, one kiss meant everything to me, one touch, just talking to him meant everything to me but what do I get in return, just hurt. Realization that he has never loved me, he has never cared because if he did he would have told me why he did what he did, he would have talked to me first. He would have told me everything, I was willing to forgive him, I was willing to love him, set everything aside and be with him if he ever talked to me.

My job means nothing if it was for him, he has been locking me in the house and I have never complained not once, if he had talked to me and told me that I was in danger I would have listened coz god knows I feel in love with him the day I broke the spell, the day I saw him at my door, he would have told me anything and I would have nodded, I would have accepted everything if he just talked to me but he didn’t, he decided to drive me to the edge.

To the point where I felt my life was meaning less. I am so hurt beyond anything but I still can’t find it in my heart to leave him alone in this fight. I got up from the bed walking over to the elevator, I pressed and it took me up with me tapping my feet hoping that nothing has happened to him. I reached the second floor and I could hear snarls, growls from above and I prayed for the elevator to move faster than this. I need to make sure that Ryker is fine. I reached the top floor and when the elevator opened all I could see is blood, wolves laying down, some human bodies but no one was around.

I got back in the elevator pressing another floor, I got onto the next one and it was like the last one. I moved from floor to floor following the growls, I reached the twenty second floor and I found five wolves biting each other to pieces but I still couldn’t see Ryker or Wyatt anywhere. I gasped falling back into the elevator when one wolf came towards me baring it’s sharp teeth at me, I covered my face waiting for it to attack but nothing came, I opened them to find a wolf pulling it back biting into it. I closed the elevator immediately breathing heavily so glad I survived that one but I need a weapon right a way, if I want to survive these wolves.

I got onto another level and this time it was chaotic, wolves were ripping each other apart. I walked in jumping over the dead one being cautious with every wolfe I see, I don’t know which ones belong to Ryker’s team and which ones are with Wyatt. I kicked one wolf that was sneaking for my leg before running away searching for Ryker on the entire floor but I couldn’t find him. Snarls brought me out of my disoriented state of running a lot when I turned around and nearly ten wolves are surrounding me ‘Way to get myself in big trouble’ their fur is filled with blood with their teeth bared out, eyes showing that they are ready to kill.

I took a step back trying to look for a way to get away from them. They seem ready to pounce, I should have paid more attention in that class that used to tell us more about animals and what to do in order to survive. One growled jumping up, I fell on the ground trying to avoid it but it got thrown all the way over the building. All wolves turned around and there stood Ryker with his ripped shirt filled with blood. I sighed in relief seeing him here, at least Wyatt hasn’t gotten to him, he started ripping the wolves without touching them and before I blinked twice they were all dead ‘Woah’ guess I was worried for nothing he can take care of himself “Are you okay?” He asked pulling me up as I nodded and I know my mouth is a jar “Why did you come up here?”

“I wanted to help you” I replied my eyes on the wolves that are in pieces “I see you didn’t need my-” I cut myself off when I saw Wyatt sending his red staff to Ryker. I pushed Ryker out of the way and it hit me right in the chest. I felt like I am being electrocuted, at the same time I was getting burned all at the same time and I knew I wasn’t surviving this. I couldn’t breath and it all seemed like it was in slow motion. My legs got weak and I expected an impact on the ground but I was held.

“Its going to be okay stay with me” Ryker said and I could see tears falling down his red eyes. I moved my hand shaky to his cheek, I love him so much “Don’t say anything” he said cutting me off when I tried to open my mouth. He laid me down before disappearing from my view, I didn’t want to die alone, my body felt cold and I needed him close to me, I needed him with me. I turned my head to see something on fire but my vision was blurry, I couldn’t see very well as I chocked trying to breath. It looked like a wolf on fire “Cole, am here”

“Ry-” I couldn’t say it all, his hands surrounded me and I felt at peace, at least I will die in the arms of the person I love “I- I lo-ve y-you” I gasped out feeling my body stoping, I can’t feel anything in my legs or my arms. Tears fell down my face as I tried to speak again.

“Am sorry, am so sorry please don’t leave me” I am not mad at him, I have already forgiven him but I can’t say it as everything died down. I could no longer see, hear him nor feel his touche until everything stopped and the world became dark.

‘i forgive you’

Chapter 42

Sometimes we don’t make decisions because love is over but because we need to take care of ourselves before the love we give kills us….

“Don’t you fuckin blame me for this, I know what I did” I heard voices and they sound so close yet do far at the same time as they echo all around, I tried moving but my body seemed trapped by something holding my hands and my legs and so heavy

“So your regretting your actions after almost losing him” If I can hear correctly it might be Felix and the first voice was Ryker’s, I want to open my eyes but I seem to not be able to do so “I told you so many times Ryker-” a strong growl sounded and if my body wasn’t trapped I would have ran very far away from here.

“I know, now get out “ Ryker growled so deep, I didn’t hear anything from that except for the door closing then I heard pacing around, shoes hitting the ground so loud it gave me a headache that I didn’t have earlier. I want to open my eyes and tell him that he should stop, I am getting dizzy yet I am not even seeing him move around. I feel so weak, I tried moving my finger or leg but they all didn’t respond. I don’t even feel them ‘Am I paralyzed?’ I asked myself trying harder to move but nothing happened.

I tried my head but it also didn’t move, my eyes did- “Am sorry” I heard Ryker’s voice and this time it was on my ear, I could feel his breath on my skin and now I know my skin is alive, I just don’t know what is happening and why I can’t move “For everything, am sorry” I stopped trying to fight it and accepted that my body wasn’t going to move “I love you” I felt a peck on my forehead before footsteps sounded then the door.

He loves me, Ryk- that is when what happened hit me in one go and if I could move I would be sobbing right now. I felt my heart break again from the memories that evaded my head, why does he say he loves me when he is the one that made me sad, that treated me worse than anyone has ever managed to do. I don’t want him near me, I thought I died when I was hit but it turns out I didn’t, now I am stuck on this bed unable to move, why can’t I move.

I stressed out on the bed until I fell asleep again, if that is how I would call it. I woke up again to sounds and this time it was a woman’s voice talking, I couldn’t catch what she was saying but it sounded more like singing. Ryker’s voices sounded again and he was asking the woman how I was doing, he pecked my forehead again then left the room. I don’t know what is going on but I need to open my eyes and see it for myself, where I am, why can’t I move, who is this woman, why does Ryker keep on doing the same thing over and over.

The same routine kept on going on and I became exhausted. Ryker would come talk, apologize and then leave, I usually spend time hearing a woman’s voice mostly and when she is around she feeds me. I know I can do it by myself but I feel stuck on this bed, I fought with my hand again this time determined to get out, I need to open my eyes but again I failed as sleep took over my already closed eyes.

“How is he today?” I heard Ryker’s voice but this time it was so far away from me as I felt like I was falling and I was fighting so hard to hold myself before I fall into the deep dark hole and soon I gasped grabbing some air. I could breath normally, I breathed hard and without trying my hand moved. I was so happy to feel my hand again, I tried my eyes and they opened up without a fight but I had to close them from the light. I could feel my entire body, I blinked adjusting to the light and the first person I saw was Ryker standing near my feet on the bed wearing a suit “Cole, your awake”

Awake? Is he fuckin kidding me, I was in a battle. That wasn’t sleep I was trapped in something. I looked around the room and I am familiar with the room, it is our room but this time the colors are changed into the pale blue that I wanted “What is going on?” I asked trying to push myself up and even if my bones are still weak, depending on how long I have been stuck on that bed.

“Don’t stress yourself, your not okay yet” Ryker said trying to help me but I shrugged from his touch, I don’t want him near me. I might have been hurt saving him but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want him near me.

“Why am I in your house?” I asked, a lady probably in her thirties brought me a glad of water and I thanked her sipping on it before resting it down. My head still feels heavy and I feel like I want to sleep again.

“You got hurt-”

“Is Wyatt dead?” I asked cutting him off, he nodded and I sighed falling back on the bed feeling exhausted but I don’t want to sleep again after being trapped there for so long “How long have I been out?”

“Three months”

“Alpha, we don’t need to make him talk. He needs to rest” The woman said making Ryker to nod and I didn’t get a chance to say anything more when my eyes closed again sleep taking me over again. I woke up and this time I was in the room a lone, I thanked whoever made this happen. I might have survived that hit but I didn’t survive the biggest one yet and that is Ryker, no matter how much I love him, how much I forgive him I don’t think anything could ever go back to normal and I know one thing, I need to leave this place.

I need to start my own life where I know no one is going to hurt me like he did. If death doesn’t want me since I have escaped it two times then I don’t want it either but I know one thing, looking at Ryker brings out the most painful memories in my life and that is not the environment I want to live in, he caused so much pain. I rolled putting my legs off of the bed resting them down, I walked to the bathroom, did my business took a shower before going to the closet picking out some jeans and a shirt. I was in the middle of putting on my jeans when the door opened and in walked Ryker Fox “hi”

“Hi” I replied looking away from him, everytime I see him tears fall down my eyes. I can’t move over the betrayal even if I have heard him apologize when I was asleep and I forgive him from the bottom of my heart but I don’t want to see him, that fact that he was the cause of the biggest hurt in my life, I just can’t stand it.

“How are you feeling?” I sighed putting on a hoodie pushing my long hair back turning to look at him.

“Am better” I sniffed leaning onto the closet with my hands in my hoodie “Thank you for taking care of me”

“You got hit for me” I nodded staring down trying to keep my tears in, I feel like my heart is breaking for the decision I have but if I stay with him I will never forget what he did. Everytime I see him I will only remember the tears he has caused me.

“Ah, Ryker” I called sniffing pushing my hair behind my ears trying to make myself strong “Am leaving” I breathed hard “And I don’t think I will ever come back”

“Am sorry”

“I forgave you a long time ago” I confessed, he doesn’t need to apologise, I forgave him but I need to work on myself. I need this space “I just need space for myself and to get away from you”

“When will you be back” I blinked wiping the tears that have already fallen down.

“I don’t know” I walked over to him, holding his chest “I loved you, I have always loved you and I will always love you” I know the love I feel for him will never wash away “Just…. don’t look for me”

“I love you” he attached our lips but I’d didn’t kiss him as I pulled back. I don’t need him reminding me how it would feel like if I stayed because I don’t want to stay, I love him but I don’t want to stay.

“I wish you the best” I pecked his cheek walking out without looking back as tears streamed down my face. It feels like death walking away from him but I have to do this if I want to be happy. I always thought he will be the one walking away from me, I never thought I will ever walk away from him but I am and I am not turning back. I ran down the stairs and when I reached the door, I looked back at him, he was standing above the stairs staring at me. I waved pulling the door open before I could change my mind leaving him behind, this has been the hardest decision for me but it is the best decision I will ever make.

Chapter 43

Good-byes and new beginnings….

Six months later*

I wouldn’t say that my life is perfect now because it isn’t but it is good and that is good enough for me because I get to sleep, without worries, eat without worries and laugh. Before I left I had to say goodbye to my friend who had not seen me in so long. I said goodbye to Bryan but didn’t tell him where I was from the day I disappeared from the hospital or what I was doing or who I was with ‘He was worried about me all along’ I told him I was working on myself and now I am going some place else. I didn’t want to tell him anything about Ryker because if we didn’t know all about the supernatural creatures then there has to be a reason and even though I trust Bryan, I couldn’t tell him what was going on.

I didn’t tell him where I was going either, I told no one where I was going. I just moved to a place where I can find peace, I knew my peace was next to Ryker I just couldn’t do it. I had to start over with something new, and live a life with no stress, use some of the money that I had worked for in all those years, I didn’t know here I was going to begin from I didn’t care but I knew I needed this. My body, mind and heart needed it.

I moved to an island that is far from all the cities, with less population and I got a nice hat next to the ocean. I wake up at a nice view everyday, get fresh air, walk around the town or spend days with my new friends that I got here at the island. My life isn’t the best but it is great and I can’t complain with anything I have. I get to be laugh with people here and not think about love or anything about it.

Six months on this island and I have gotten a schedule of everything. I wake up at around nine in the morning, have breakfast ‘Having breakfast alone doesn’t harm me anymore’ but sometimes I get company from luise and Paula, my two friends I got here. We go for a swim sometimes or in the city to buy staff or go for games. When we come back they spend the night here or sometimes I spend the night at their place, whatever comes. They have never been anywhere except the island, Luise is twenty seven not married and without any kids while Paula is twenty eight also not married or any kids.

This town is so small and I know it is hard to date someone your not related to but I think Luise and Paula would make a really nice couple. I wonder why they are just friends, I also thought they would be dating but they are not. It is kind of weird how they wouldn’t be interested in each other and they have never slept together ‘That is what they tell me’ they are both beautiful, love the same things, so playful and to me I think they would make the perfect couple “I don’t understand how you can be taking coffee at a time like this” it is noon but does it matter

“As I have said before, Coffee has no time” I love my coffee and I can have him wherever I want to, I have no time for coffee and so much ever since I arrived here, it is the other thing that keeps me going.

“So why are you here all alone, still not over your boyfriend” I told them about Ryker, I didn’t say why we broke up or who he is ‘I didn’t want to sound insane’ I know I was never insane but I still can’t help feel like I have to be careful or else I will be called insane, they have been of good help trying to get my mind off of Ryker but nothing ever does, I am good and doing better than before even if he is still in my head everyday.

“I don’t think I will ever get over him” That I am sure of and if it is what having a mate means, then it is exactly what I feel. I didn’t come here to get over Ryker, I came to know me and live as me, give myself time to get my life back in order before trying anything else

“Do you want us to go out tonight”

“Nah, am tired today but you can” I don’t feel like it, I want to be alone in this hat and just watch movies with snacks until the day and the night are gone. Everyday I miss Ryker more and more but I still have no power to go back, I can’t forget what he did, it is just imprinted in my head that I still can’t erase it at all “Where is your other half?”

“In town, he needed to buy something” I nodded, they are usually together all the time and it is weird seeing her here alone “I will leave you up to it, if you need me you know exactly where to find me” I nodded, she got up leaving me alone by the shore as I finished my cup resting it down next to me taking in the fresh air.

This place is as calming as I thought it would be, it has helped me calm down so much and I love it here. I didn’t think I will ever leave this place. I love Ryker but I don’t know if I will ever go back to the city, this place is awesome and I have gotten friends who are nice here, I get to have my space, have time with people, not work but still be happy everyday, what more could I ask for. I sighed leaning back in the sand, my eyes moved around the beach and I could see a figure walking by the beach, a man wearing a white short and a blue shirt.

He is tall and even though I can’t see his face I know who he might be just by his height. It is not everyday I get to see someone as tall as him, my heart jumped up in excitement realizing how hard I missed him. I got up from the sand as he walked over to me looking so breath taking with his purple eyes “Hi” he greeted with that voice that I missed so much. He is so breath taking, he reminds me why it was so hard to let him go and why I still cry because of him.

“Hi” I greeted too, I didn’t know he was going to be here, hell I didn’t know he knew where I was “How did you know I was here?”

“I have always known you were here” he replied looking around, I had nothing to say, I missed him but I don’t know if I wanted to see him. Okay that is a lie, I wanted to see him but I don’t know if I am ready “I don’t deserve you and I don’t know how I came to end up with you as my mate because your perfect, your the best mate and I didn’t value that, I never did, I only thought about protecting you without a care of how it was making you feel, I should have talked to you about it but I didn’t and I am so sorry for everything. I hope we can start over again and I promise to never keep any secret from you ever again”

I don’t want to smile but I am, it didn’t take long for me to forgive him, for me to want him in my life again and this is why I didn’t want him near me in the first place. I have no heart to be mad at him or to stay away from him, the distance helped me stay away from him. I would really want to get to know him, not only the pieces but full him, everything good or bad, I need to know the person I love in and out.

“Hi, my name is Ryker Fox” he put his hand up, I smiled attaching my hand to his, sparks flying through it.

“Cole Adam Relish Vadamonte”

END

Thank you all for the reads, all of you who have been there through this entire book. I love it so much and I will be making a book two that will begin from where this one left off but this time it will be in Ryker’s POV

I didn’t give you guys enough Ryker and there is a lot to him than this, we need to find out who he really is as the king.

If you would like to see that book, please comment and vote.

Thank you all so much.

Love you 💕💕💕

HIS WORLD Ryker’s POV BOOK TWO WILL BE UP SOON, don’t forget to check it out.