I

Z’ev watches as the  doors open, his distaste for the situation he’s in well hidden.  His eyes trail to light russet hair brushed out of a pale face.  He tries to breathe through his misplaced anger.  Instead he focuses on bright blue eyes that flicker down.  And he can just picture how the younger man’s heart must be hammering inside his chest with each step he takes.

Z’ev wants to growl under his breath in irritation.  But he’s alpha.  And all eyes, if they’re not on his promised, then they are on him.  He has to be mature about the situation neither of them have asked for.

He’ll be the first to admit that it’s hard when everything feels painfully slow as Aldon wraps a red ribbon around their wrists while they hold hands, the omega’s clammy and trembling in his callous grasp.  He wills Aldon, the elder of his pack, to hurry, to end this as fast and painlessly as possible.

Soon the elder is chanting a blessing upon their twined souls, their hearts bound. 

His skin tingles, his own heart now beating to that of the omega’s.  The red ribbon disappearing, sinking into their skin and branding each as the other’s like a taunting tattoo.

Aldon offers them a chalice and Z’ev is the first to take a deep gulp before offering it to his bonded.  The younger man takes it with trembling fingers, taking a sip.

And then bright blue eyes look up to stare at him and Z’ev can’t help but look back into that pale face smudged with rouge, with full lips stained flushed.

Everything is a blur after that.

He feels like his head is under water when he leans in, lips pressing against soft plush ones. He delves his tongue inside, dives into the very depths of something new, something his. He tastes like wine, like the ripest grapes, like sweet nothing.

In the back of his mind he can hear the cheers, feel the thunderous applause from his pack, from his mate’s pack. 

He pulls back.

His heart clenches tight when he pulls back to see his omega’s eyes closed, kiss-swollen lips still pursed.  He almost wants to lean in and kiss him again.

He doesn’t.

He needs to remind himself that this isn’t what he wanted, who he wanted.

But it’s even harder when he shyly reaches for his hand.

II

Nelo bites his bottom lip, thighs pressed tightly together as he breathes in harshly. He knows he’s squirming in his seat, but he can’t help it and he feels everyone’s eyes on him even if no one is really staring at him. 

The embarrassment still tints his cheeks regardless.

He’s aware of what the chalice did to him, what the mating ceremony forced his body to do.  He knows his heat was triggered for his wedding night, so he could be wet and ready for his alpha. However, said alpha doesn’t seem like he’s interested or even cares for the well-being of his mated omega. He has a wide smile, mouth forming words Nelo can no longer hear with the blood rushing to his ears and down his cock.

A soft whimper escapes him and it feels like suddenly everything has gone silent.

But all around him people are chatting, still drinking, still ignoring them.  He can’t focus, however, when bright eyes land on him, making him choke on air, his wolf calling for their alpha, his body practically begging to be fucked.

A hand wraps around his elbow and he’s hoisted from his chair.  The alpha wrapping a secure arm around his thin waist as they hastily leave the hall, a ring of catcalls and whistles following their way out.

Once outside in the hall, where there’s no one but him and Z’ev, he slumps against his alpha.

He’s absolutely soaked and his face flushes in shame when his body responds to the scent of his bond mate. 

And he can just tell this heat will be one of the worst. 

He’s so distraught with his body burning in need and emotions running rampant that he doesn’t even notice when they arrive at the Alpha’s wing.

Nelo gulps at the sight before him.

The bed is huge, fitted in white with scattered red rose petals.

White to assure the consummation of their marriage and mating.

More than nervous, Nelo peeks at Z’ev who is already stripping, his plain white dress shirt tossed to the side carelessly.

Nelo wants to shy away from Z’ev’s touch.

He can’t seem to read the man’s expression, his face a blank slate as cold fingers touch warm skin.

He didn’t have a choice in this mating and it occurs to him now that maybe Z’ev didn’t either, maybe he didn’t want any of this to happen either.

But they’re here.

Both naked and standing in the moonlight filtering through their open window.  The cool breeze does nothing to calm Nelo’s nerves.  He’s still flushed and slick is now running down his thighs uncomfortably.

He makes the first move.

With a deep breath, he takes a tentative step towards his alpha, his

mate .

They’re bound together.

The alpha reaches for Nelo’s arms, intent on pushing the omega away but only bringing him closer.

Suddenly Nelo finds himself on his back, on the plush bed.

His thighs automatically fall open for his alpha, flushed milky skin glistening with slick.

Z’ev stares transfixed at the rosy little hole dribbling that viscous fluid and he doesn’t waste any more time.

He sinks into the heavenly bliss with a single thrust, hands grasping pale hips in a bruising grip. Nelo’s back arches at the sudden painful intrusion, his breath getting caught in his throat. He cries out silently, tears rolling down his temples and soaking the pillow beneath his head.

He doesn’t know what to do.  He’s never done this before and he thinks his arms are flailing, trying to find purchase on something, anything.

Z’ve’s gentle hands grasp thin wrists and Nelo stops squirming.  He’s breathing heavily, wiggling his hips just a bit.  He can see the restraint Z’ev is exerting, trying hard not to move and let the omega adjust.

Carefully they shift.  Z’ev sitting up with his back against the head board and Nelo on his lap, cock buried deep.  Deeper still.

“Hands on my shoulders,” Z’ev orders,  voice hoarse, “move when you’re ready.”

Nelo nods, he doesn’t want to mess this up.  He’s scared, yet excited.

He wraps his arms around Z’ev’s shoulders and slowly tentatively, he begins moving.  His alpha thrusts up as he slides down onto the man’s thick cock.  Both setting an easy rhythm that quickly falters.

“You can whimper, moan, and scream,” Z’ev grunts, “you don’t have to hold back.”

That’s enough permission for Nelo to mewl and whimper as he’s filled over and over again.  All he can think of is mate, alpha, mine, his .

And teeth are suddenly sinking into his skin, his alpha’s knot expanding and locking them together.

Nelo thinks he loses consciousness at some point, he doesn’t remember what happens after receiving his mating bite, after the heat became too much.

He only remembers snippets of screaming, begging, crying for more.

He remembers holding himself open as his alpha ate him out.

He remembers being fucked every which way.

Now, three days later, he’s in bed alone.

The white sheets long gone with the proof of his lost virginity.

III

His head hurts.

His body hurts.

Everything simply hurts.

He feels incredibly sore but regardless of how battered he feels, Nelo slips out of bed. For a second he’s dizzy from the lack of decent meals these past few days, but when the smell of bacon and eggs reaches his nose, his wolf yips in excitement. His bright blue eyes land at the door where the delicious smell is coming from only to be met with his husband’s. He gulps nervously, standing awkwardly and shifting his weight from foot to foot. His hips still hurt, the bruises on his skin still ache.

With a sigh, Z’ev makes his way to the small table for two by the opened window in their cozy room, letting in the scent of the dew-covered forest. He places the tray down and waits for Nelo to limp over. Z’ev pulls out a chair for his mate to sit once he manages to reach the table.

Nelo stares at the pulled chair and takes in a deep breath before gingerly plopping down on the proffered seat. He manages to hide a wince but Z’ev can smell the pain rolling off of his body in waves.

The alpha does say much, but he does give Nelo a small cup filled with ibuprofen. The omega takes the little cup gratefully and he downs the pills quickly with orange juice.

“Thank you,” he sighs gratefully.

Z’ev merely offers a grunt of acknowledgment as he turns to a few documents already waiting to be tended to.

Breakfast is a silent affair that Nelo seems to accept a little dejectedly.

Things are tense and awkward between them. Nelo didn’t expect anything less to be honest, especially considering they don’t even know each other. They’re from different packs trying to find peace with this union. Nelo doesn’t think it’ll last but at least he’s assured of his pack’s safety for the time being.

He eats his fill with a silence only broken by the scratching of a pen and the shuffling of papers. When Nelo’s finished, Z’ev pushes his chair back with the intent to stand and leave. Nelo looks at the alpha’s plate still teeming with cold food. Brows furrowed, he makes to rise as well but only to have his knees buckle under the flare of pain from the sudden motion.

Z’ev is there in an instant, his arm wrapping protectively around Nelo’s thin waist.

“So-Sorry,” Nelo squeaks as he clings to Z’ev.

“Just… be careful,” Z’ev sighs, “it’ll take a bit for the painkillers to kick in.”

“I’ll try, sorry,” Nelo promises with his head hanging low in embarrassment.

“I’m going to check out the added territory from your pack so we can begin adjusting as one pack,” Z’ev begins while he leads Nelo to bed, “I’ll be adding warriors on your pack’s borders for the protection we promised. If you need anything just send someone to get me or the Head of Omegas.”

“The Head of Omegas?” Nelo asks with a tilt of his head.

“He’ll come with me to assure the omegas of your pack don’t stress from the assimilation. We want to make sure they’re comfortable with my pack members infiltrating what was once their territory so we can all adjust quickly,” Z’ev answers tersely.

“Maybe I should go,” Nelo perks up as he makes to stand again.

“No,” Z’ev says quickly.

Nelo looks at his alpha concerned.

But Z’ev can only sigh and try to placate the omega, “I made a landscape of your territory. Why don’t you just… help me mark what’s where.”

Nelo bites his lip

When it looks like Nelo won’t take the papers and pen, Z’ev decides to join him.

He takes off his shoes and slips into bed next to the omega. Nelo doesn’t know if he should get closer or if he-

“I’m not going to bite,” Z’ev grunts as he pulls the omega toward his body.

They’re so close that Nelo is nearly on the alpha’s lap.

The maps are placed on Nelo’s thighs and Z’ev hooks his chin on a thin shoulder. Nelo can’t help but feel warm.

He takes the pen and begins scratching at the paper, marking whatever he remembers from his pack.

“Jacan, the Head of Omega, will be accompanying me along with Baldovino, my Second. You should stay here and rest,” Z’ev mumbles sleepily, “my mother will be in the gardens, I’m sure she’ll love to chat with you and perhaps show you around if you feel up to it after resting.”

“Ok,” Nelo agrees dejectedly.

Z’ev doesn’t like the acrid smell from his little omega, but he refuses to let him go anywhere near that traitorous pack. The last thing he needs is confirming his omega was in on the ploy of that deranged alpha.

“Done,” Nelo mumbles.

“Thank you,” Z’ev breathes, taking the maps from Nelo’s hands, leaving without so much as a goodbye.

The omega watches his alpha go and he decides not to dwell on the confusion he feels. He tries even harder to ignore the hurt of rejection the alpha tried to mask all together.  After all, it’s not the first time he’s been rejected, ignored, or exploited.

With a soft sigh, Nelo makes for the en-suite bathroom where his eyes land on the massive tub and shower he plans to use well. He takes a quick shower, choosing to conserve water rather than waste. Just because he now has the luxury doesn’t mean he should misuse it.

With a content smile he changes into the clothes already waiting for him on a freshly dressed bed. And with pursed lips he checks himself in the mirror atop the dresser until he deems himself presentable enough, although uncomfortable.

Determined, Nelo makes his way through endless halls and down several staircases until he resigns himself as being completely lost.

Biting his lip he continues his confusing journey through his new (ridiculously) humongous home.

When he gets through a side door he breathes a sigh of relief and looks around a beautiful garden in awe. He walks carefully through beds of flowers and medicinal herbs, admiring the view as he does so and smelling the scent of never-ending spring.

“Asena?”

Nelo nearly jumps out of his skin at the sudden voice behind him.

He turns around and is greeted by a beautiful women, a beta, looking at him in wonder and something akin to love and gratitude.

“Excuse me?” He croaks rather awkwardly.

“Asena Nelo?”

“Ah, yes?” Nelo tilts his head curiously.

“I was Asena Accalia, the Asena before you, or better known as Z’ev’s step mother,” she smiles pleasantly.

“Nice to meet you Asena Accalia,” Nelo bows.

“Oh, nonsense. You are the new Asena,” she grins, “my time has come and passed. You and my son rule this pack now, you are the new Alpha pair. You are Asena.”

Nelo blushes furiously at that, “thank you.”

With a soft smile, a motherly warmth radiating off of her, she leads Nelo to a bench in her favorite part of the garden.

The conversation is light until she asks, “Do you think you’re pregnant?”

Nelo nearly chokes on the water Accalia’s maidservant brought out over an hour ago.

“I- I think it’s too early to tell?” He manages through fits of coughing.

Accalia’s smile is big and bright as she pats his back, “You may be right but we’ll know in about a month regardless.”

Nelo wants to groan at that, knowing that his heat will now come in short spurts to ensure conception.

“Ye-Yes, I guess we will,” he agrees weakly.

Accalia’s motherly smile suddenly disappears as she says, “I know Z’ev is a difficult child, I practically raised him after all. I just want to ask you to give him time, he’s a good man and I’m sure you’ll grow to love one another.”

Nelo takes another sip before looking at her hopeful gaze, “I hope so too. I want to… I want to love him and be loved.”

“Tell me? About you, about why they chose you .”

Accalia frowns. Nelo doesn’t look happy and his scent is one of sadness and something like shame. But what catches her attention is the figure standing behind Nelo.

Nelo sighs and places his cup down, “Honest?”

She nods, waiting patiently for Nelo to gather his thoughts yet expecting fabricated lies.

“When I was just three days old my mother gave me away because I was a runt, at least that’s what I’ve been told. She left me at the steps of a small family of servants working in the Alpha’s house. With the fear of severe punishment for harboring a rogue, the head of the small family in turn gave me over to the Head Alpha to decide my fate. Surprisingly, I was taken in with no questions asked. Although the alpha let me live and grow, I wasn’t treated well. I was forced to learn my place at a very young age by doing house chores, mucking out the sheep pen, getting milk and water, cooking. Every chore imaginable was thrust onto me. I did my job with pride, no matter how disgusting and backbreaking it was, because this was my way of showing my gratitude for taking me in, for giving me clothes and a roof over my head,” Nelo says.

Accalia’s frown deepens at this, she never thought of how hard Nelo’s life must have been up until now, and knows deep inside that he’s being honest. She wraps a warm arm around his waist, trying hard not to gasp aloud when she feels how thin he really is. She shoots a concerned look to the person listening intently into their conversation.

“And then,” Nelo begins again, softer yet. “We received your treaty at an attempt of peace to stop the raids from the rogues once and for all. Alpha Bodolf was… outraged . He raved about it to his council, angry that you’re husband had the audacity to ask for an omega to mate with Alpha Z’ev to create peace. An alpha who had barely been instated. Alpha Bodolf is a petty man and would never allow a pretty omega of value to be given away like that. So, he gave me to your son, a convenient unwanted rogue who happened to be a useless wolf, but omega nonetheless. He gave Z’ev a servant, a slave, a rogue, and even less than that. He gave your son nothing .”

Accalia tries to reign in her wolf at this. She is angry, furious even! Nelo flinches at the low growl that escapes her lips and he tries to wiggle away from her in fear.

“I’m going to kill him,” is growled out then making Nelo jump, turning wide eyes to face his alpha.

Z’ev makes to dash in the direction of the forest, intent to, to do something!

He doesn’t get far as the smell of panic tugs him back.  His wolf urging him to soothe their distressed omega.  With a frustrated rumble he turns back around and scoops up his omega, letting the small wolf slowly calm from his panic attack.

“Listen to my heart, follow my breathing, relax,” he coos.

Eventually Nelo does.  He closes his eyes and mimics Z’ev’s breathing until he’s left exhausted, though calm. 

Yet Z’ev wants nothing more than to fight his instincts.

Asena: Mother of Wolves

IV

Nelo watches the alpha dress in silence, as he feigns ignorance to his presence, and leaves. 

All Nelo can do is stare at the sheets covering his thighs, wrapping his legs in a cocoon of heat.

He splays his hands on his lap and traces the tattoo marring his wrist.  A promise forged on lies.  He feels disgusting.  He feels sick.

The door to the bedroom opens again and Z’ev walks in.

Nelo drags his knees to his chest and follows as the man wraps a watch around his own wrist, effectively hiding their bond.

Nelo knows Z’ev hates him.  He can feel it with each and every glare, with the silence growing between them.

He knew, however, that he would never actually find love with the alpha.  He knew that.

And still he hoped.

“Breakfast?”  Z’ev grunts.

“No,” Nelo mumbles tiredly, “’m sleepy, hot.”

The man turns around to stare at him for the first time in several weeks.  Nelo tilts his head and closes his eyes, flinching when he feels a warm palm cupping his cheek.

“It’s only been two months,” the alpha sniffs, “you’re in heat again.”

Nelo nods in agreement, “yeah, happens, heat’s never regular.  Hurts.”

Z’ev sits beside the omega, making the bed dip just so, “have you seen Aldon?”

A shake of the head is enough answer.  Z’ev wants to get angry.  He has no right.

He’s the one who has neglected his omega for months now, he’s the one who has avoided his bonded.  He’s only seen Nelo when he knows the younger man is fast asleep. 

He rubs his temple.

“Get dressed and go see Aldon.”

“Alpha?”

Z’ev detangles himself from Nelo’s hold, “ Now .“

The order makes Nelo shiver, but he obeys.  He slips out of bed and dresses sluggishly.

Assured, the alpha leaves.

Nelo waits before he also ducks out the room and heads to the healer.

₩○|¿

Nelo wants to pretend he isn’t embarrassed as he’s checked over by Aldon, especially when he’s alone and in pre-heat. He feels self-conscious and then Aldon starts speaking, his grey eyes conveying a sympathy too close to pity for his comfort.

“Your body seems overworked from your time with the Ventus pack which is perhaps one of the main causes for your irregular cycles. Had we known, we would have delayed the mating to make sure your cycle was stabilized enough so these heat intervals for conception were more anticipated and less taxing. As it is, we’ll just have to inform Alpha Z’ev of your sporadic heats to come.”

Nelo nods and quietly takes the proffered vitamins from Aldon’s aged warm hands.  The prescription bottle filled enough for a month reading: once

daily

with food .

He wants to feel optomistic as he bids his goodbye to the older beta.  Yet he can’t help but feel otherwise.

Aldon, bless his wise heart, gives him a fatherly smile full of kindness and understanding.  It’s a warm reassurance he needs now more than ever.

He steps outside the room and trudges through the halls of cold judgment of the passing packmates, all knowing that he isn’t good enough to be mated to their Alpha, that he’ll never be good enough for Z’ev.

He hates feeling so small in their eyes, but he can’t help shrinking in on himself and proving their point.

He hates this, hates everything here.

For a brief moment, he wants to go back to the only place he’s ever know as home.  At least there he knew his place, knew what he had to do there. 

Here, he’s lost, he’s a stranger.

He feels stupid and taunted.  They bow to him, but not because he deserves their respect, more because he is their Asena whether they like it or not.  Whether he, himself, likes it or not.

“Asena,” An omega greets with a flushed smile from behind.

Nelo turns to greet him with an awkward hello, suddenly noticing a few other omegas snickering behind the young man’s back.

“The name’s Jacan,” he says grabbing Nelo’s attention again with an outstretched hand.

His brilliant green eyes glisten with mal intent, something Nelo doesn’t see as he shuffles his feet gracelessly.

“Head Omega,” Nelo says quietly, remembering his more-or-less strained conversation with Z’ev several weeks ago.

“One and only,” Jacan grins.

Nelo nods, his lip twitching into a friendly smile. If he can befriend the Head Omega maybe he’ll feel better around the others. Of course, it isn’t that easy and his brows furrow in confusion when he catches Z’ev’s scent on the omega, though faded.

His heart still slams into his chest, aching and making it hard to breathe.

It’s okay he tells himself as he takes a deep breath, smile never faltering as he looks at Jacan.

“It’s good to meet you,” Nelo says politely, “and I hope I’m not rude but I need to get going.”

Jacan gives him the friendliest smile he can muster, “of course.”

They bow to Nelo, but he can hear the whispers the omegas utter under their breath as he walks away.

“Wonder where he’s going when not even our Alpha Leader wants to see him.”

“He doesn’t compare to Jacan.”

“Z’ev should’ve mated with Jacan.”

“Did you see his face?”

Nelo picks up his pace wanting to get as far away from there as possible, chest aching and eyes stinging with unshed tears.

He wants to get away from the ridicule and laughter.

Everyone stares at him as he enters a room unannounced, eyes wide when the door slams against the wall.

He gulps realizing he’s not in just any other room, he’s interrupting a pack meeting.

Z’ev look up at him with surprise written on his face and a tick in his jaw

“Sor-Sorry,” Nelo hitches as he turns around and runs from the room almost immediately.

Z’ev’s eyes follow the petite boy out the room, his mind replaying the tear that fell down a pale cheek as he left. His nose twitches with the lingering smell of hurt and overwhelming sadness causing him to take a ragged breath, forcing him to cut the meeting short.

He hurries after the omega and trails the scent of distress to their rooms.

He looks around, but finds it empty until soft sniffles from the bathroom reach his ears.

He marches to the closed door and tries to open it only to find it locked.

“Nelo,” he knocks.

The sniffles stop.

“Open the door,” he orders, trying hard not to use his Alpha voice.

The last thing he wants is to compel the omega to do something he doesn’t want and scare him.

However, the longer there’s no response, the more concerned he gets.

“Please,” he begs.

The doors creaks open and Z’ev is immediately enveloped in the scent of heat.  It’s so intense, so crippling, it nearly brings him to his knees.

Still, he slips inside the bathroom and closes the door shut.  He falls to his knees and he gathers the omega in his arms.

Nelo can’t help but cling to the alpha.  He’s tired.  He’s so tired.

“I’m sorry,” Nelo sniffles, face buried in Z’ev’s chest, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry alpha, sorry.”

“Shh,” Z’ev coos, voice soothing the omega.

All Nelo can do is curl in on himself as Z’ev adjusts his hold on him, “it’s okay, I’ve got you.  I’m here, I’m not… I’m not mad.”

Nelo shivers but his sobs slowly subside.

Z’ev takes the change to steal his breath, to soothe the ache, “I’m here now.”

V

A/N: Hello everyone!  This story was taken down and is currently being re-written/edited.  As I rewrite this story I delete the original parts and no longer have them.  Sorry for the confusion, but I hope this clears everything up.

₩○|¿

Nelo lies awake, body aching and begging to be filled.  His back arches and he can’t wait anymore as he shoves three fingers inside his needy hole. He whimpers, his wolf calling out for their mate desperately.  He wants to cry out and howl.

Z’ev sighs and slips into bed before wrapping his hand around Nelo’s aching cock.  Each stroke lights a fire inside Nelo, his whines and whimpers loud and guttural as his fingers brush against his prostate.  But it’s not enough.  It’s n-

“Let me,” Z’ev husks, carefully tugging at Nelo’s hand.

Nelo mewls as his fingers are replaced with something bigger, something so much bigger and satisfying.

His desperation for pleasure and relief is finally fulfilled as he’s knotted until he can’t think, until his mind blanks.

₩○|¿

He hates this, hates waking up alone in bed, hurting and aching all over. He doesn’t think he can take it anymore and deep down he feels useless, his body failing at the one thing it’s meant to do. People look at him in disappointment and they shake their head knowing he can’t conceive and it hurts, it hurts like hell. He had a purpose, his purpose was to swell with pup and have a family but he can’t even do that. Nelo has had three heats in the span of two months now and he just can’t.

He’s in bed covered in bite marks and dry cum. His hair is a mess atop his head and his body hurts . He wants to crawl under the sheets and hide from the disappointed stares knowing that he can never give Z’ev a pup.  He’s too messed up inside.

With a breath, he decides not to dwell on it anymore.

He drags his weary body out of bed and slips on a t-shirt and sweats, not bothering to shower. He simply doesn’t like that luxury.  He’s not up for it.

Instead, he grabs a towel and thinks about taking a swim in a small body of water that runs through his old pack.

With that in mind, Nelo leaves the Forrest territory and sneaks into the Ventus pack. He runs along the edge of the river until it leads to a small cascade further up. He hears the waterfall before he sees it, feels the mist of water covering his soft milky skin.  He doesn’t waste any time as he takes off his clothes and jumps into the cold water. He dives deep, for a moment forgetting everything and going back to a time before his life became so fucked up. He reaches the bottom and sits down, letting himself float up only to take a deep breath.

He feels free here.

He doesn’t worry about the stares and glares.

He doesn’t worry about status.

He doesn’t worry about anything.

His hand subconsciously drifts to his flat stomach as he looks up to the sky.

₩○|¿

Z’ev narrows his eyes at the papers in front of him, “Bastards.”

“I’m glad you finally see our dilemma,” Alpha Conall, his father, says calmly.

“Do you suppose Nelo knew?” Baldovino asks.

“Of course he knew, he’s just like them,” Z’ev growls, his grip tearing the paper at the sides.

“What’s done is done,” Conall reminds, “whether he was aware of the contract or not doesn’t matter. Your title as Alpha is on the line Z’ev. If they find any fault against you in any way and choose to nullify this marriage, you lose your status and your reputation is shot. They take whatever they please from our pack and we lose everything. If Nelo were to be the one at fault then we take their pack as ours. The whole uniting our packs with this marriage was bullshit, we knew the moment Nelo spoke.  But now we know what extent Bodolf is willing to go to.  Now, I strongly suggest you make it work with Nelo.”

“And if Nelo doesn’t conceive?” Z’ev asks, “We’ll be able to nullify the marriage?”

“Yes,” Conall sighs, “but that is if he doesn’t conceive within a year of your marriage.”

“This is just one massive headache,” Z’ev groans.

“You can try falling in love with him for once,” Baldovino offers, “you need to make sacrifices for your pack, but maybe you should stop seeing this as such.  Maybe you should consider completely forgetting Jacan.”

“I… I’m trying alright, I’ve pushed him away, I’ve kept my distance and I’ll continue to do so.  But love someone like Nelo?  He could be the enemy?”

“But he isn’t, is he.”

Z’ev glares, he wants shout how angry he is.  How manipulated he feels.  But he just buries it deep and ends the meeting short.

“I can’t think anymore,” Z’ev growls as he leaves with a slam of the door.

Conall looks at his son in concern, but Baldovino gives him a reassuring smile.

₩○|¿

Nelo waits for Z’ev to get to their room as the sun dips in the horizon. He wants to make an effort even if he knows he’ll only get hurt.

VI

Nelo shifts.

His bones pop and rearrange into something beautiful, something surreal. 

With a small pained huff, he stretches out, butt sticking in the air and fluffy tail wagging excitedly. He’s tired of waiting for Z’ev, tired of trying to make their mating work when Z’ev can only stare at him in repugnance. He shakes his head from those depressing thoughts and decides to sneak back into his old pack, if only to forget about the cold and emptiness he feels in the place that’s supposed to be his home.

With paws flexing and digging into the soft forest floor, he hunches forward (ears pressed against his head) and dashes through the woods with the wind. He feels the soft breeze tickling his fur, his nose twitching with the smell of last night’s rain.

He’s so entertained with the sudden peace that surrounds his aching heart that he doesn’t see piercing dark eyes following his every move.   He doesn’t hear the growl over the chirping of wild birds flying overhead.

But Z’ev sees him.

He watches enraptured as that slim body changes into something gorgeous and pure, snowy fur replacing smooth milky skin. He can’t help but bare his teeth in anger as he watches him go, paws hitting the ground in a graceful run. He shifts without a second thought and follows the traitor no doubt going to report to Alpha Bodolf.  If he can catch Nelo red handed he can nullify their marriage and nothing will hold him back.  Even if something is telling home that that is the last thing he wants to do.

He ignores it and follows the white blur barely bigger than a pup.

He jumps over roots poking out of the ground of massive trees and manages to keep up with the pallid wolf from the shadows. He can’t stop himself from feeling invigorated.  His wolf feels freed, admiring their mate from behind eagerly.  Z’ev tries hard to stop those thoughts from intruding his mind. He narrows eyes on the figure until Nelo abruptly stops.

Z’ev can hear his own heart roaring in his chest, but he hears more than just that. He hears Nelo’s heart beating alongside his, hears him panting over the sound of water.

He looks around only to find a massive waterfall and then his eyes are back on Nelo, milky skin bare for the world to see.

He watches as pale feet step into the water until Nelo simply disappears inside the chilly pool.  Z’ev doesn’t even know when he shifts back, but he’s suddenly standing on two feet by the bank, his heart hammering in his chest waiting anxiously for Nelo to appear from the ripples.

And then Nelo breaks through the surface.

His soft hair is clinging to his skin and framing his round face, beautiful eyes closed enjoying the feel of water running down his body.  

Z’ev’s mouth waters at the sight and he’s suddenly lost the ability to speak. He growls low in his throat, snapping Nelo to attention. 

Wide eyes stare back at him in fear as he dunks his body back in the water.

“Al-Alpha?” He squeaks pathetically.

“What are you doing here?” Z’ev demands as he wades his way through the water, ignoring the cold that seeps into his bones.

“I-I’m sorry,” Nelo whispers, knowing full well that he’s not supposed to go out without an escort, regardless if he’s going to his old pack’s territory or not.

“Sorry?”

Nelo takes a step back nervously as his alpha nears and he slips on a slime-covered rock. Z’ev reacts on instinct as he wraps a hand around Nelo’s wrist and pulls him toward his body. The rapid change in balance makes them both fall, Nelo atop of Z’ev.  

And they can’t breathe.

Z’ev wraps his arms around Nelo’s thin waist both staring at each other in surprise as they hold their breath until they can break through the surface of the water, both gasping for much needed air.

Z’ev stares deep into Nelo’s eyes before their lips brush together in a chaste kiss.

When they pull back, Nelo tries to take a step away.  He needs to think.  Why did Z’ev kiss him?  He hasn’t kissed him since their mating. Since-

A wave of dizziness sudeenly strikes him and he leans heavily against the alpha.

“Are you okay?” Z’ev asks concerned, steadying the boy.

“Yea-Yeah,” Nelo nods, “I probably got dizzy because I didn’t eat breakfast, sorry.”

“Why didn’t you eat?” Z’ev asks, eyes narrowed.

Nelo looks at him, teeth gnawing at his plush bottom lip before answering honestly, “I was a bit nauseous.”

“Nauseous?” Z’ev repeats skeptically, “Has this been happening frequently?”

“What? No-No,” Nelo replies quickly, “it’s just…”

“What is it?” Z’ev questions, his hand gripping Nelo’s arm tightly but unintentionally.

“I guess I’m still trying to get used to your food,” Nelo shrugs.

At this Z’ev furrows his brows confused, waiting patiently for the omega to elaborate.

“I-I know that you’re aware of what I used to be and well… when I worked at the Ventus pack house I usually only ate a few pieces of stale bread. If I was lucky I would get a bit of honey with milk,” Nelo whispers embarrassed.

Z’ev feels anger coil in his chest as he listens to Nelo speak, his voice becoming softer.

“Now, as Asena I’m given plates of mouthwatering food that can probably feed three people and I… It just feels wrong to not eat it.”

Z’ev stares at Nelo, knowing that what the boy is saying is true. He’s seen Nelo finish everything on his plate and then some (dessert) every night at pack dinner since they mated, nearly three months now.

He lifts Nelo’s chin to catch the boy’s eye as he speaks, “If you can’t finish it, then you don’t have to force yourself to eat everything.  Ramsay will understand.”

Nelo nods, his cheeks burning a bright red.

“It’s best if we go back now,” Z’ev whispers as an afterthought, already treading out of the creek.

Nelo follows him out and they change in a silence broken only by the sound of snapping bones.

They trudge through the thick atmosphere until they see the pack house right ahead.

When they arrive, they notice people waiting for them, some with worry written on their faces and others relieved.

Nelo wants to hide behind his alpha, but Z’ev pushes him with a brush of his head against Nelo’s side, urging him forward. Accalia is waiting with a warm smile and a change of clothes that Nelo takes gratefully from her hands with his snout. He hurries behind an oak to change back and dress quickly. He doesn’t even notice that he’s now wearing his alpha’s clothes.  

When he appears from behind the tree he sees Z’ev, human and in all his glory. It makes him flustered at the sight while the other omegas swoon at the alpha’s feet.

Z’ev, however, only has eyes for his mated omega as he approaches him, “Next time please tell someone to escort you, what if something had happened to you? What if you were attacked by a rogue?”

Nelo nods a bit ashamed because even if the alpha’s voice is soft he can still hear the disappointment, “Okay, I’m sorry Alpha.”

Z’ev’s wolf is pleased when Nelo tilts his head just so to expose his neck, the bite marks visible on the pale skin.

Z’ev steps closes and on impulse he presses another kiss on plush lips.  He’s finding that he like the taste of Nelo’s lips, the little stutter of his breath, and the way he melts.

They part and Z’ev silently grabs his clothes from Baldovino.

Without another word they walk inside the house, heading for the dining room for their weekly pack dinner.  Z’ev’s arm wrapped around Nelo’s waist until they’re inside and in their seats.

To say dinner was a raucous affair would be putting it lightly, but Z’ev doesn’t let Nelo out of his sight and watches as the omega picks at his food looking rather pale. He doesn’t know why, but he reaches out, his hand interlacing with the boy’s underneath the table. 

Nelo can’t help but look at him in surprise before a small smile graces his lips. A smile that almost makes Z’ev’s heart skip.  Almost.

For once even Nelo thinks everything will be okay.

VII

Z’ev can’t help himself as he buries his cock deep inside of Nelo again.

He grunts with the exertion of his thrusts, nose pressed against the crook of Nelo’s neck, taking in the delicious scent of sweet apples and spicy cinnamon mixing with his own musk.

Nelo’s moans only encourage him, the omega more sensitive than usual especially considering he’s not in heat.  He’s going crazy.

“Al-Alpha!”

Z’ev grins devilishly, knowing exactly what he’s doing to Nelo, to his body. He’s driving him mad as he knots the omega over and over again, fucking him leisurely and worshipping his body. He presses kisses, sucks, bites, and marks his omega. He’s nearly dizzy with the heady scent of their couplings.

“Are you okay?” He asks with a croak, hand running along smooth flushed skin in adoration.

“Mmhm,” Nelo hums contently, dazed.

The alpha wraps his arms around Nelo’s waist, a hand trailing up and teasing a budding nipple. Nelo whines deep in his throat, trying to grasp the Alpha’s hands to stop him.

“Sensitive,” he whimpers, squirming away from Z’ev’s touch.

Z’ev presses a kiss to his shoulder in apology as he moves back, “We should get ready.”

Nelo nods, still a bit disoriented from being fucked so thoroughly, “’kay.”

Before the omega can even move, Z’ev stops him.

Nelo watches through hazy eyes as the alpha parts his legs something cold and foreign filling him up.

“What is it?” He mumbles sleepily.

“It’s a plug,” Z’ev smiles.

It makes Nelo squirm, but he tries to ignore the constant feeling of being so full.

But Z’ev is not done yet.

He gets up from bed and returns with a warm wet wash cloth he uses to clean up their mess on Nelo’s body.  It make the omega fell warm and cared for, makes him tear up a bit.

“Good?”

“Ye-Yeah,” he chokes, clearing his throat weakly.

Z’ev offers his hand and they both dress in silence.

“Ready?” He asks, watching Nelo wince.

“Yeah,” he nods, a small smile gracing his kiss swollen lips.

Z’ev is tempted to screw the arrival of the Ventus Pack Council and continue keeping Nelo in bed for the rest of the evening.

He knows he’s become insatiable . 

He knows he’s falling, even if he refuses to acknowledge it.

Shaking his head from those distracting thoughts, he offers his arm to Nelo who gladly takes it as they leave the safety of their room.

They walk through the halls until they’re in front of a flight of stairs leading toward the entrance.

They wait patiently, Z’ev’s wolf practically itching under his skin.

And then they arrive.

Alpha Bodolf, his son Gael, and the elders of the Ventus council.

“Welcome,” Z’ev greets, taking a step down and pulling Nelo with him.

“Thank you,” Bodolf says with a sly grin.

Z’ev’s hand tightens around Nelo’s waist, remembering exactly what the asshole did to him, to his Nelo.

“We hope you enjoy your stay,” Nelo says shyly, offering their guests a timid smile.

Bodolf’s grin suddenly disappears as his eyes land on Nelo, “No pup yet I see.”

Z’ev grits his teeth, “We’re working on it.”

“So it seems,” Alpha Gael snorts.

Nelo’s cheeks heat up at that, his sweet little hole twitching around the thick plug keeping his alpha’s cum in.

Z’ev growls as he steps in front of Nelo protectively, not liking the way the alpha’s gaze roves over Nelo’s delectable body.

“Maybe we should head inside, I’m sure dinner is almost ready and I don’t doubt that Ramsay prepared a grand feast,” Nelo intervenes, trying in vain to diffuse the tension.

“Shall we then?” Bodolf smirks.

Z’ev huffs and nods along.

With a shake of his head, Nelo heads inside but finds his seat taken by none other than Jacan.

He feels something blinding hot burn inside his chest as he watches Z’ev talk with the omega.  Their hands brushing against each other’s, their body language showing intimacy that has not been forgotten0. For the second time that night Bodolf’s triumphant smile vanishes into thin air. Nelo’s cheeks are burning with embarrassment and humiliation. He turns around ready to walk out of the dining room before everyone notices him only to be stopped.

“Join me?” Gael offers.

Nelo stares up at the alpha in surprise.  He hasn’t seen the man and months and although he still looks the same, his demeanor is calmer.  His eyes show concern and a knowing glint he’d rather not pay attention to.

“He’ll be joining me, as I am his alpha,” Z’ev says.

Nelo shivers, he didn’t expect his alpha to be so close, so fast.

“Of course, it just appears that his seat was taken and there’s one open beside me,” Gael explains.

Z’ev wants to growl in irritation.

“Nelo is sitting with me, thank you for your offer and concern, but it is unnecessary.”

Z’ev pulls Nelo with him and Nelo looks a little pale and panicked.

There are no seats open and-

“On my lap, sweetheart,” Z’ev orders.

Nelo looks at Z’ev already seated and waiting for him.  Slowly, carefully, he takes a seat on his alpha’s lap.  Z’ev helps him get comfortable until the food comes out.

The alpha feeds him slowly and seemingly adoringly until Nelo is full and sated and sleepy.  He wiggles on his alpha’s lap and tries not to moan at the feel of plug.

Z’ev smells it though, the sudden spike of arousal, and he knows the plug is brushing against Nelo’s prostate.

“Just a bit more,” he whispers into Nelo’s ear, making the younger shiver with pleasure.

“Ok,” he nods.

Z’ev relaxes and he leans a bit back.

Bodolf seems pleased, but it’s Jacan’s departure that’s catches his attention.

He rubs at his temple, he needs to talk with him, needs to explain the situation.  For now, he’ll let it be.

₩○|¿

Nelo excuses himself minutes before dinner ends.  However, before he can go to his room to change and possible take the plug out, he’s stopped by a tight grip on his arm. Nelo looks surprised before fear clouds his honeyed scent when he realizes who it is.

“Alpha Z’ev seems taken with you, doesn’t he?” The man sneers.

Nelo can’t help but nod numbly.  He doesn’t want to mention that this is the first time he’s acted so protectively in front of everyone.  He doesn’t want to mention the glances Z’ev and Jacan steal of one another when they think no one is looking.

He doesn’t want this evil man to know his plan may not work.  He’s terrified of what would happen.

“Good, keep on seducing him and before you know it, we’ll be the ones ruling this pack,” Bodolf simpers pleased.

If only he knew, if only-

“I figured as much,” a new voice joins, one full of revolting anger and disgust.

Nelo freezes, his heart coming to a stop as he meets eye to eye with Z’ev.

Bodolf’s grins falls completely, his triumph quickly squashed.

“You may have weaseled Nelo here, and you may think you’ve won, but let me tell you a couple of things.  I am not stupid, I knew from the moment you sent your stupid treaty you were up to something.  And I honestly thought Nelo was not a part of your ploy, but both of you have taught me wrong.”

“Z’ev,” Nelo pleads, reaching for his alpha.

The alpha growls as he wraps his hand around Nelo’s wrist.

“You may have weaseled Nelo into my home, but you will never get the satisfaction of having your plans come to fruition.  And what I’ll enjoy about this most, is that you gave me someone as useless as Nelo, but someone you’d still hate to lose because that’s just who you are.  A selfish prick who enjoys making people suffer, and hating to let your victims go.”

Nelo feels dread and fear curl in the pit of his stomach.

“He’s mine now, you’ve lost.”

With that Z’ev yank at Nelo and drags him in the direction of their rooms.

The last thing they hear is a furious shout quickly lost with the pounding of blood rushing to his head.

“Z’ev,” Nelo begs, “please, I wasn’t, I’m not-”

“Shut up,” the alpha growls, “just… shut up.”

VIII

Nelo wakes up with bleary eyes blinking into the darkness.  His heart clenches tight in pain when he realizes he’s alone yet again.

It’s been weeks since Z’ev has talked to him, let alone seen him.  He’s tried to explain, but his voice falls on deaf ears.

He stopped trying a few days ago.  He hasn’t been sleeping well. He barely eats anymore.  He wonders if he’s wasting away, if this is what true rejection feels like.

With a sigh he sluggishly gets up.  A wave of dizziness wraps around him and he feels nauseous.

He covers his mouth and hurries to the bathroom where he proceeds to sick up until he’s drive heaving.

He kneels by the bowl for a long time, until the world no longer spins and his stomach doesn’t revolt.

Eventually he gets up to brush his teeth and rinse his mouth with Listerine. He forgoes a bath and chooses a short scalding shower.

Afterwards, he changes into something simple, jeans that are starting to fit snug around his waist and one of Z’ev’s comfy but overly large Henleys.  He melts at the sent and his eyes prick with tears.  He misses Z’ev, he misses his alpha.

He doesn’t even bother putting on shoes, he simply makes his way outside the bedroom and toward Aldon’s quarters.

He feels like shit.

He’s just about to reach the healers room when he’s forced to slow to a stop at the sight Jacan and Z’ev speaking.

“Jacan,” Z’ev greets.

“Alpha,” the omega smiles.

Z’ev returns the smile, but it fades with a sniff of the air.

“Jacan?”

The omega turns timid with a soft sigh, “I suppose I wouldn’t be able to hide it forever.  I just came from seeing Aldon.”

“Are you okay?” Z’ev asks, taking a step closer, hands reaching for the omega.

Jacan nods, “I’m okay, at least Aldon said as such.  Just…”

The younger bites his lower lip, looking bashfully at Z’ev as he grabs the alpha’s hand and places the warm palm against a distinct curve, “I’m pregnant.”

Nelo stares wide eyed, and he thinks he’s going to be sick again.

Z’ev can’t speak, his mouth suddenly dry, “Pregnant?”

“Four months now, I really wanted it to be a fluke after you mated Asena Nelo, but… I felt it move, and I saw it. I saw our baby, Z’ev. Aldon preformed an ultrasound,” Jacan shrugs, “it’s here.”

“Ours?”

“Yeah, the night of-”

Nelo’s world shatters, that was supposed to be him, that was supposed to be them. He draws a sharp intake of breath which immediately attracts their attention.

“Asena,” Jacan whispers, hiding behind Z’ev and covering his protruding stomach.

“Con-Congratulations,” Nelo chokes.

“Nelo,” Z’ev says as he cautiously approaches the omega.

“I didn’t want to see it,” Nelo admits, breath hitching, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, oh god.”

“Nelo!”

Nelo crumbles to the floor, gasping for breath.  But it’s not enough.  He can’t breathe.  He can’t-

Strong arms wrap around him and hold him tight, preventing his claws from scratching at his skin.

He can’t breathe, he wants to get away.

“Breathe,” a soft voice orders, “come on, breathe for me.”

“I’m sorry, Z’ev, I ruined it.  I ruined your happiness.  You and Jacan and I’m sorry.”

Z’ev looks up at Jacan and orders the omega to get Aldon.

“I’m really sorry I messed up your life,” Nelo whimpers.

“You didn’t ruin anything.  I wasn’t happy with our arrangement and I’d be lying if I said I love you, but you didn’t- shit, I knew what I was getting into.  And I’m angry that you’re my enemy, a traitor, but like hell will I let that man win.”

“I won’t say anything,” Nelo sobs, “I won’t nullify the bond, I won’t tell him.”

Z’ev curses, “you can if you want to.  I won’t… I won’t leave Jacan, not now that I know he carries my pup.”

“I know,” Nelo sniffles, “I know you love him-”

“I never once cheated on you,” Z’ev assures.

Nelo nods, “I know, but you were never mine to begin with and now you have a duty to Jacan and your… your pup, you’re finally gonna be a dad.”

Those words have never felt as heavy as they feel now.

“I’m sorry, Nelo.”

“So am I.”

IX

Z’ev studies Nelo as the younger looks out the window in yearning, eyes downcast with sadness.

He wishes he could turn his frown into a smile.  But he can’t, not when was the cause for all this ache.

He sighs and approaches the omega.  He takes a seat in front of the younger man and waits to be acknowledged.  It takes several minutes of dragged silence before warm eyes flicker to him.

“Are you hungry?” He asks gently, knowing that the omega still suffers from nausea, though Aldon has said he’s perfectly healthy.

Nelo barely shakes his head before he returns to admiring the view.

“You should eat,” the alpha tries to coax again.

Nelo hums softly, but makes no move.

Z’ev is worried.  Nelo hasn’t eaten properly in weeks, yet again he can’t express his concern when Nelo’s waist is thickening.  He’s noticed.

“Alpha Gael has invited us to the Ventus territory,” Z’ev begins.

Nelo tenses at that.  Not at Gael’s name, no, he knows that alpha.  He trusts Gael.  What worries him is going near Bodolf at all.

“Do you want to come with us?”

Nelo tilts his head.

“I’ll be accompanied by Baldovino, a few members of the council, my father, and Aldon and… Jacan.”

Nelo curls in on himself more.  Why is Jacan going?

“It’s ok if-”

“I’ll go,” Nelo whispers at last, voice a little hoarse, “I miss my home.”

Those words are like a knife to Z’ev’s heart.  He knows Nelo’s life was hell in that pack, but that Nelo sees it as his  home more than their pack now makes his heart hurt.  Has he really damaged Nelo so much that the omega can’t see this as theirs?

“Don’t,” Nelo frowns, “don’t look like that, you’re the one who pushed me away.”

The omega makes to get ready and dress, but Z’ev stops him.

Nelo shakes his arm free, “you have a family now, why do you care about me?”

Z’ev can’t argue with that and it really, truly hurts.

₩○|¿

Nelo is uncomfortable.

He feels a bit bloated and breathless, exhausted and unnecessarily sore.

“Are you alright, my dear?” Aldon asks concerned when he reaches the group waiting downstairs.

“Yes, I’m, I’m good, thank you,” Nelo answers, forcing a smile.

Aldon doesn’t look like he believes the younger omega, but he let’s it go when a soothing voice calls the younger’s name.

Nelo turns to face Accalia, her embrace unexpected, but needed and wanted.  He wraps his arms around her and hugs her back just as tight.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” She asks, her warm breath tickling his ear.

“I will be,” Nelo assures, “eventually.”

Accalia nods and reluctantly lets him go. 

She wasn’t pleased with the events that occurred, but she has no say.  She just hopes Nelo will stop hurting one day, wishes somehow that Nelo will find love.  Even if it isn’t with Z’ev.

“Take care,” she whispers, “and be careful.”

Nelo nods before he says a quick goodbye and reaches the rest of the pack.

“We’re shifting and running there,” Z’ev calls over the small group of people joining them, “it’ll be a good opportunity to burn energy before the full moon tomorrow.”

Excited murmurs envelope him and all around people shift.

Nelo catches the alpha’s eye before he turns around and shifts in the privacy of the foliage.

He appears behind the corner and finds a black wolf waiting for him, pushing him forward with its snout.

Nelo yips, biting at the wolf in agitation.

What does the alpha want now?

You’re

leading the way, Z’ev says.

Nelo shivers, Me?

Another push.

Nelo doesn’t fight the black wolf.  He wants to get away.  The less he sees him, the more he hopes his heart will stop hurting.

He sighs and stretches before he darts into the forest, quickly losing the other wolves and catching the alpha off guard.

He feels free like this, running with the wind, dodging trees and hearing the thundering paws behind him.

It’s been four months since he shifted and participated in a run, full moon or otherwise.

He’s forgotten how liberating it is.

He’s so engrossed in his surroundings, in the familiarity, that he doesn’t realize the slow pacing of the wolves behind him.  Each one slowing down with caution, afraid to enter the foreign territory.

Nelo doesn’t stop.

He pushes forward until he’s tackled to the ground by a heavy brown wolf.

They roll and tumble before they come to a stop.

Nelo below the obvious alpha.

He whines in his throat and bares his neck only to receive an angry roar from Z’ev.

The alpha backs down at the sound of angry growling.  He knows better than to challenge and angry alpha.

Nelo slowly rises and shakes his fur off.

He frowns at the sight of a protective Z’ev ready to pounce.

Nelo follows his instincts just to placate the suffocating air between them.

He rubs his flank against Z’ev and purrs until the riled alpha calms.

And then he approaches the brown alpha and rubs his snout against the wolf’s in a gesture of familiarity.

Gael.

Nelo, the brown wolf greets, welcome home.

Z’ev’s hackles become raised again.  He wants nothing more than to yank Nelo back and demand the alpha to stay away from his mate.

But a warm body presses by his side and he looks down to see Jacan, the pregnant omega panting and tired.

Gael’s eyes flicker to the group and land on the omega by Z’ev’s side.

He gives Nelo a questioning look, but the omega can no longer meet his eye.

“Welcome, Forrest pack.”

One by one they shift until they’re human and naked.

Nelo refuses to change and he only does so when Gael hands him a pouch he had strapped to his back.

Nelo takes it with sharp canines and disappears behind an oak only to reappear human and dressed.

“I am Alpha Gael of the Ventus pack.  I welcome you to my home.”

Nelo watches in admiration as Gael gives the introductory speech to the pack.

He’s amazed at how much time has passed.

“Please, let me show you around.”

Nelo looks all around him.  Nothing has changed since his departure, everything is pretty much the same and with a painful realization, he notices no one has missed him.

“I have,” Gael whispers.

Nelo looks up at the alpha in surprise.

The other wolves are talking with members of the Ventus pack, ones who are not shy and hiding.

“You have what?” Nelo wonders.

“Missed you,” the alpha amends.

“You mean you missed picking on me?”

“Of coudse,” Gael snorts, “no one can replace my best punching bag.”

A small smile twitches on Nelo’s lips, “you’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re lonely,” Gael notes, “what happened?”

Both their gaze shift to Z’ev and Jacan.

“He was in love long before I knew him,” Nelo shrugs, “they were a thing and-”

“Did he cheat on you?  Because you can nullify the marriage and-”

“No,” Nelo sighs, “he didn’t, not… not while we’ve been bonded.  But they were a thing before then and… and the product of their love grows inside Jacan.”

“You’re good enough, you know that right?” Gael offers, “Just because you’re not carrying, doesn’t mean-”

“The pack doesn’t see it that way,” Nelo interrupts, “ I

don’t see it that way.  But I stopped caring, I stopped feeling and it scares me because I can’t feel anymore.  I’m broken, I’m truly useless.“

“ Nelo -“

“Alpha Gael,” Z’ev intervenes.

Nelo tenses when his alpha wraps an arm around his waist, “my pack seems to be a bit tired.”

“Of course, let me show you to your rooms,” Gael nods, “we’ll let you rest and then we’ll let you know when dinner is served.”

“That would be greatly appreciated,” Alpha Conall smiles.

“And do you, Nelo, wish separate rooms or-”

“Nelo is my omega,” Z’ev growls.

“Of course,” Gael drawls, “it’s just one would think otherwise, considering…”

“Considering what?”

“A room with Alpha Z’ev will do, Alpha Gael, thank you,” Nelo sighs.

They leave it at that.

And Z’ev feels a pang.  The distance just keeps on growing and he doesn’t know how to make it stop.

X

Z’ev makes sure Jacan is safe and well situated in the room next to his and Nelo’s.

Before he can leave, Jacan stops him with a hand on his arm.

He turns around and faces the omega.

“When?”

He doesn’t think he understands the question, “when what?”

“When did you fall in love with him?” Jacan asks, “when did you stop loving me?”

The alpha frowns, but he looks at Jacan. He studies the pregnant man and he realizes he no longer feels the butterflies. His heart no longer pounds and yearns for him. When did he stop feeling that breathless love with Jacan?

“I’m not in love with him,” he argues, but both know it falls on deaf ears.

He’s lying.

“You are,” Jacan refutes, letting go of the alpha, “because you no longer love me. I’m no longer in your heart.”

“You are,” Z’ev insists, but he can’t help the frown on his lips, “you’re still in my heart.”

“Just not the person you love.”

Z’ev hesitates, “I love you.”

Just not the way you love me .

It goes unsaid, but Jacan knows and he’s hurt, he’s almost angry.

“I don’t know when or how I ever lost you to a nobody.”

“His name is Nelo,” Z’ev growls, his wolf becoming unnecessarily angry.

“Get out,” Jacan orders, tears brimming his eyes.

“Ja-”

“Now,” the omega says and he’s trembling with anger, with exhaustion and disappointment.

And Z’ev finds he can’t comfort him.

So he does as told and leaves.

His back presses against the closed door and he takes a deep shuddering breath.

All he can think of is Nelo, how he wishes he could still hold the omega.

Nelo, his mate. His bonded.

Z’ev scrubs his face.

Is he truly in love with him?

Is that why his heart aches at the thought of him?

Is that why he feels those butterflies when he catches a glimpse of him?

Is that why his rationality flies out the window when he sees the omega near another alpha?

Does he love him?

The door across from him opens and Nelo appears.

The omega looks surprised at meeting the alpha right outside their bedroom door.

But the shock is replaced with a glint of sadness.

Z’ev doesn’t like it.

He doesn’t like the hurt he’s caused.

“Nelo,” he calls softly.

The omega offers a forced smile, one which wavers with the effort, “I was just going for a walk, excuse me.”

Z’ev wraps his arm around the omega’s waist, “please don’t go.”

Nelo shivers at the rough voice of the alpha.

It makes his knees tremble, makes him feel weak.

He tries to shimmy away unsuccessfully.

“Please.”

Nelo crumbles.

He allows the alpha to lead him back into the privacy of their room.

The door closes and locks and even if Nelo looks for a way out, he knows there’s none.

He doesn’t want to hear it, though.

He doesn’t want know.

He doesn’t want to hurt anymore.

“I love you,” Z’ev whispers, voice holding a lilt of unsure.

Nelo stops breathing, “You don’t love me.”

“I-”

“You love Jacan, you told me, I know, you-”

“I was overwhelmed.”

Nelo looks up, eyes flickering to the alpha in surprise.

“Those things I said,” the man continues, “About you and Jacan. About not loving you… I was overwhelmed. I had just found out I was going to be a dad to the person I thought I’ve loved and I had just felt the betrayal of hearing you conspiring with Bodolf.”

“But I wasn’t,” Nelo retorts, “I wasn’t conspiring against you, I’m not… you’re the one who feels used, but I’ve been used all my life. I’ve been bullied and demeaned and exploited. I’ve lived my life in terror of what that man will do to me if I disobey. Because I’ve done it before and I know you’ve seen the scars, I know you’ve felt them on my body. And all I can do is nod and go along with it because I am scared.”

Z’ev feels his breath getting stuck in his throat. He hadn’t known. He hadn’t thought to ask, to stop and actually think. He assumed. He accused.

“You were nice to me,” Nelo sobs, throat aching with his tears, “you were nice to me and I liked it and I fell in love with the part of you that made me smile, that understood me and showed a semblance of trust to me. I had and I still have no intention of betraying you, of using you like I’ve been used. Because I love you and the last thing I want is to hurt you. I know how it feels and it sucks, it hurts so much and I-”

Z’ev closes the gap between them and presses his lips to Nelo’s. He steals his breath away and tastes the salt on his lips, the tears running down flushed cheeks in torrents.

Reluctantly, he pulls back, “I was learning to love you,” Z’ev replies, “I really was and I do. I love you.”

The omega doesn’t answer, he doesn’t believe the alpha, yet his heart skips a beat.

“You love Jacan.”

“I loved Jacan,” the alpha corrects, “I… I’ve known him for so long, but he’s not the one that makes me giddy. He doesn’t steal my breath away, he doesn’t make my heart pound or my hands sweat. I love your smile, the way it makes butterflies in my stomach just flutter away. I love the way you laugh with your body, I love your little snorts of amusement. I love every inch of you, all your scars, everything.”

“But Jacan and the ba-”

“They are my duty,” Z’ev explains, “I will support them financially and however else I can. I will talk with him, I’ll let him know what I feel, but you are my mate and I belong to you.”

Nelo tilts his head, his cheek resting in the cup of Z’ev’s palm. He closes his eyes.

For a brief moment, he almost believes it.

“I need to think,” he whispers, “and you need to show me, I can’t just… I can’t just take your word.”

The alpha nods, “I understand.”

Nelo pulls back and reaches for the door with one last look toward his alpha.

He strides out and takes a deep breath.

Z’ev let’s him go.

They both need to clear their minds and Nelo gladly wanders the halls when he stumbles upon Bodolf.

The alpha looks contemplative, an eerie silence hanging around the man.

It makes a chill rush down Nelo’s spine in forewarning.

He chances a look back, thinking of walking away before he’s noticed.

“So,” the alpha begins.

Nelo freezes.

“You were going to double cross me?”

The omega feels dread pool in his belly, “What? I- No-’”

The alpha approaches in quick strides and he holds Nelo by the neck.

“I heard you,” Bodolf growls, “you fell in love with the enemy. I sent you to seduce the bastard, not to fall in love and betray me, you little slut.”

“Please let me go,” Nelo chokes struggling in his grasp.

“You think I’ll let you live? After betraying me? The person who took you in? Who let you live and provided shelter for you, a runt from a whore of a rogue!”

Nelo flinches, tears running down his cheeks, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Bodolf scoffs, “That, you will be.”

Bodolf let’s go of the omega and watches him scramble away in fear.

“Go,” he sneers slowly, “let’s see if that alpha will save you.”

Nelo runs.

“Let’s see how far you’ll get.”

And with a subtle nod a dark figure gives chase.

₩○|¿

Nelo thinks he’s having a panic attack.

Bodolf looked so angry, so prepared to-

He nearly sobs in relief when he turns down the hall he knows leads to his and Z’ev’s rooms.

He doesn’t make it far.

Something tugs at his shirt. Someone pulls him back.

His eyes wide at the feel.

Something sharp, something excruciating digging into his lower back.

A single word is whispered into his ear before his attacker disappears.
Traitor.

Nelo can only give a strangled cry as he falls, blood quickly drenching his clothes.

He reaches a trembling hand toward his lower back and the tears that blur his vision spill when he sees a blotch of red staining his hand.

He looks down at his lap, his jeans quickly soaking crimson as well.

And then he hears it, the panicked footsteps.

But all he can think of is his baby.

XI

It’s like a bad dream.

Like a terrible nightmare.

Watching Nelo just collapse and slump forward.

His eyes landing on the hilt of a knife digging into the younger’s back.

The red surround his omega.

He thinks he can’t breathe, yet his body is moving automatically.

His legs racing toward Nelo, arms aching to reach out.

And when he’s close, close enough to touch, he doesn’t know what to do.

He thinks he’s going to be sick.

His hands scramble for purchase, trying to staunch the blood flow but not know why there’s so much.

He doesn’t dare touch the knife, too afraid of causing more damage.

“Nelo?” He croaks, turning the younger man to his side.

Nelo’s eyes are wide open, his bottom lip trembling with tears running down his pale face.

He’s in shock.

“Nelo,” the alpha calls again, jostling the omega.

Nelo doesn’t respond.

“Jacan get Aldon, get someone, anyone,” Z’ev orders.

Jacan is standing breathless at the sight.

“ Now! “  The alpha shouts.

Jacan nods and hurries to find anyone.

“Nelo, sweetheart, stay with me,” Z’ev coos, carefully lifting the omega into his arms, “please.”

The way his voice cracks makes Nelo blink, his eyes fluttering with recognition.

“I’m sorry,” Nelo whispers hoarsely.

Z’ev is confused, “you don’t have to apologize, there’s nothing to apologize for.”

Nelo can’t stop the sob as he reaches for Z’ev’s hand.

The alpha takes it readily, “you’re gonna be okay, everything will be alright.  Jacan is getting help, we’ll find who ever did this, I promise.”

“I’m sorry,” Nelo repeats.

Z’ev leans forward and presses their foreheads together, “don’t apologize, just please don’t close your eyes, please stay with me.”

Nelo chokes on a sob as he presses his alpha’s hand to his rounded stomach.

“ I’m sorry. “

₩○|¿

His mouth is dry.

His body trembling and bloodied hands shaking.

He can’t think.

“What?”

He can’t hear through the blood rushing to his head.

“ He lost the baby .“

Z’ev stumbles back until he falls onto the floor in shock.

“He-He what?”

Z’ev stops listening, only catching snippets of Aldon’s sympathy.

“-e wasn’t that far along.”

“A-Are you sure?” Baldovino asks.

“High stress and blood loss-”

“-need to take him to the city.”

“I need to see him,” is all Z’ev can manage.

“Alpha Z’ev I don’t think-”

“I need to see him.”

He doesn’t bother to listen any longer, instead he pushes past everyone until his claws grasp the cold knob and he yanks the door open.

He finds his mate, his Nelo, resting on his side.  He’s pale and feverish, body trembling in pain.

Immediately Z’ev rushes toward him.

“Nelo?”

The omega’s eyes flutter open.

“I’m-”

“Don’t,” Z’ev whispers, “don’t apologize.”

“I didn’t tell you,” Nelo croaks, “and I lost the baby, our baby.  I should have told you, I-”

Nelo’s breath falters.  His eyes close and he takes a shuddering breath.

“He’s lost a lot of blood,” Aldon says.

Z’ev looks back and finds the elder standing behind him.

“The knife wasn’t big, but I’m afraid of doing any more damage, especially with the blood loss.  He’s going to need a transfusion and the city is more equipped for surgery.”

Z’ev grits his teeth, but he nods, he needs to make sure Nelo is alright, is safe, “get the car ready.”

₩○|¿

The wait is agony, but it’s worse to know that they don’t have a match and Nelo is only growing weaker.

Z’ev slumps in his chair, scrubs his face with his hands.

A cold hand touches his shoulder and he flinches.

He growls.

He lashes out.

Jacan is startled, eyes red-rimmed wide in shock, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Z’ev grunts an acknowledgment.

“He’s going to be alright,” Jacan comforts.

Z’ev watches as the pregnant omega takes a seat beside him.

And he can’t help but wonder what it would have been like to experience something so beautiful with Nelo.  How it would have have been like to celebrate their pup, their birth.

But that’ll never happen and it feels like it’s all his fault.

He’s drowning in guilt.

A nurse approaches their group and Z’ev immediately stands up.

“I’m sorry Mr. Forrest,” the nurse apologizes solemnly, “you are not a match.”

Z’ev feels like his world is crashing.

If they can’t find a compatible donor, Nelo may not survive going under.

His mate might die.

He can’t lose him, he can’t lose Nelo.

They’ve already lost their pup!

Turns to his pilar, his father, and returns the hug offered.

“Everything will be alright, son.”

He needs to believe him.

It’s then that Bodolf steps outside the waiting room and Gael doesn’t like the look in his father eye.  One of triumph.

“Where are you going?” He hisses as be catches up to the alpha.

“Back to the pack,” the man shrugs.

“What are you hiding?”

Bodolf scoffs a laugh, “Me?  Nothing.”

“You’re a liar,” Gael growls, “you know something an-”

“What do you want me to say?  That I’m compatible with the rogue?”

Gael stops talking.

“’Cause I am, if you want to know,” Bodolf admits, “but hell will have to freeze over before I save that slut’s life.”

Gael grabs the man’s shirt and he slams him against the wall.

“What did you do ?  How do you know you’re a match with Nelo?”

“I did our pack a favor,” Bodolf sneers, “that’s what I did.”

“You did this?  You hurt him? How could you be so cruel? How?  He never did anything to you?  He followed your every order!  He was even afraid of you, he-”

“Was a nuisance, a constant reminder of my mistakes.  I’m almost glad he’s going to die.”

“What the hell are you going on about?”

“Haven’t you figured it out?  Nelo is your brother .  If I were you, I’d stop all infatuation with him now.”

Gael can’t breathe, his brother?

Nelo is his brother?

“You’re his-” he gasps.

“And I’d rather watch that traitor die.”

XII

Z’ev waits patiently by Nelo’s side, waits for him to wake up, to see his eyes.

It’s been hours of waiting, of worrying.

And finally, slowly, Nelo’s eyes flutter open.  His once bright eyes look around in confusion, dull and empty.

“Hey,” Z’ev smiles, holding onto Nelo’s cold hand tightly.

“Z’ev?” Nelo mumbles tiredly.

Z’ev feels an overwhelming relief crash over him.

“Hi,” Nelo finally chokes.

The omega looks around, eyes taking in the unfamiliar setting.

Z’ev doesn’t say anything, can’t make the words choking him escape.

“I,” the omega pauses and frowns, “I can’t feel my legs, w-why can’t I feel my legs?”

Z’ev sucks in a sharp breath, “it’s okay, Nel.  I’ll go get the doctor and-”

“Doctor?” Nelo squeaks, “what doctor?  Why can’t I?  What about… did I really…”

He can’t finish his sentence.

Z’ev takes a deep breath and exhales before grabbing onto both of Nelo’s hands.

“It’s not permanent,” Z’ev begins gently, “your sciatic nerve was pinched or something like that and it made you lose your stability, it’s why you can’t feel your legs.  And… and I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  We… our pup… they’re gone.”

The tears spill down Nelo cheeks, but he holds back his sobs.  He simply nods in understanding and hunches in on himself.

He simply buries his face in the crook of Nelo’s neck as he cries, his sobs wracking his body.

“I’m tired,” Nelo whispers hoarsely.

“Do you need me to get you anything?”

“No, just… just leave, please.”

“Nelo,” Z’ev frowns, “why-”

“You know why,” Nelo mumbles, “you know.”

“I’m not going,” the alpha refutes, “even if I have to wait in silence for you to talk to me, to tell me what you feel.  Not until… until we figure things out.”

“Then wait.”

Z’ev’s jaw clicks but he doesn’t shout, he doesn’t get angry because he understands.  At some basic level he understands.  Nelo just lost their baby and… and…

It’s only hours later, when the sun is long gone and replaced with heavy storm clouds that Z’ev leaves, a soft press of his lips to Nelo’s feverish forehead, “I’ll be right back.”

He watches the omega fall into a fitful sleep before closing the door behind him.

He doesn’t look back even as he feels the ache of loss, the ache of longing.

He trudges back to the waiting room and is surprised to see his mother among the pack.  He scrubs his face.  He wishes things would have been different.

“How is he?”  Jacan asks softly, looking pale, eyes wide and glistening with tears.

“Don’t you dare spew your fake sympathy at the loss of someone else.  All you’ve ever done since Nelo arrived at our pack is belittle, don’t act like you don’t know because I’ve heard you in the halls.”

Z’ev sighs, “mother, please, we’re in the hospital and Jacan-”

“He didn’t deserve this Z’ev. He tried so hard just so you would notice him, so your marriage could work out, so it didn’t have to be hell,” Accalia sniffles looking accusingly at them both, “and you chose Jacan over him, over your bonded mate.  Don’t you understand how he might have felt?  How much stress he was already under?”

“He lost the baby because someone stabbed him,” Z’ev growls, “and I feel it.  It feels like my fault because I pushed him out to leave our room.  Because he felt like he couldn’t think, couldn’t believe the fact that I fell in love with him too.”

Z’ev stares down at his hands, still red from scrubbing the blood away.

“I love him.”

“All these months he was by your side and not once did it seem like it,” Accalia sighs, “it’s about time to redefine what you think love is.”

She walks away and Alpha Connall follows after.

Z’ev stays rooted in place.

“Z’ev,” Jacan calls hoarsely.

“I think… I think it’s best for you to go as well, Jacan,” Z’ev replies, slumping in a seat.

“Alpha,” Jacan whispers, standing and crossing the room toward him.

Z’ev’s eyes burn bright as he glares at the omega, “We’ll talk later. So just go .”

Jacan shifts on his spot awkwardly, head bowed down waiting, for something, for anything.

As an afterthought, Z’ev’s harsh gaze softens as he looks at the distended stomach, “Rest, take care of yourself and… and the baby.”

XIII

Z’ev bows to Gael in gratitude.  The alpha does not expect such a reaction from someone as prideful as Z’ev Forrest and he watches in utter astonishment at the sight.

“Thank you,” Alpha Z’ev whispers, voice still a little hoarse, “thank you for saving Nelo, for being a match and if there’s anything I-”

Without thinking Gael opens his mouth.  He knows where this is going and he wants nothing more than his brother’s freedom.

“You can let Nelo go,” he responds, “you can stop being the reason why he hurts.”

“Let him go?”

“It’s only fair, don’t you think?”

Z’ev scoffs, “you’re asking me to stop hurting him, when you never did anything to protect him from Bodolf?  Hypocritical, don’t you think?”

Gael stops talking and Z’ev feels a sick kind of satisfaction.

“I’ll bring it up to Nelo and I’ll let him decide,” he amends before hurrying toward Nelo’s room without another word.

Z’ev takes a deep breath as he opens the door.

The omega looks up at the sound of the knob turning.

The alpha’s voice immediately becomes tender at the sight, “How are you feeling?”

Nelo shrugs a shoulder, not quite sure how to answer.

Z’ev strides to him and crouches down until he’s eye level with Nelo.

They stare into one another’s eye until Nelo looks away first, tears making his nose and throat burn inexplicably.

The alpha cups his omega’s cheek, “Ready?”

A small shake of the head and Z’ev’s heart clenches tight.

“I spoke with Gael,” he begins, clearing his throat.

He should bring it up now.

He should let Nelo go.

But he doesn’t want to.

He doesn’t feel capable of bringing it up, too afraid of the omega’s answer.

Nelo looks up at his alpha questioningly as Z’ev straightens up.

“He… He said… he hopes you get better.”

Not a lie, but not the entire truth.

Nelo doesn’t reply though.  The omega hasn’t spoken for weeks now and he hasn’t eaten as much as he should.  He looks weak, tired.

He looks… he looks like hell.

“I’m sorry,” Z’ev mumbles, scrubbing his face and willing the tears back.

He’s sorry for everything.  He’s truly pathetic.

Nelo hums and a knock on the door let’s them know it’s time to go.

Z’ev’s steps are slow and deliberate as he reaches behind the wheelchair before pushing it as Baldovino opens the door for them.

Nelo suppresses the shiver that wracks through his body as a cool breeze caresses his skin when they step outside.  He grabs onto the blanket covering his legs and discreetly snuggles deeper in search of warmth.

They pause in front of a large car and Nelo’s eyes widen in surprise.

He’s never been in one.

He’s seen them roaming around the pack grounds when they come back from the city and such, but he has never been allowed to even be near one.

He looks up at Z’ev slightly terrified.

Z’ev brakes the wheelchair beside the back door and he carefully picks up Nelo from his perch.

The omega can’t help but bury himself in Z’ev’s warmth.

Likewise Z’ev nuzzles against Nelo’s warm cheek.

He breathes in his omega’s scent and sighs in content.

Nelo melts a little inside, but he doesn’t fall for the pretense of comfort though he clings to Z’ev like a child when he’s gently placed inside the vehicle.

Z’ev follows suit.  He slips beside Nelo and closes the door just as the wheelchair is mounted in the trunk.

Nelo looks around the interior with caution, subconsciously seeking Z’ev and realizing a little too late that he’s pressed against the alpha.

Only then does he let himself be weak.  Z’ev tucks in the blanket around him and makes sure he’s as comfortable as can be before strapping him in.

“Gael wants you to to back to the Ventus pack,” Z’ev finally manages.

Nelo looks at Z’ev, voice raspy, “What do you want?”

Z’ev looks surprised but he shakes his head, “doesn’t matter what I want, what matters is what you want, what you’re comfortable with.”

Nelo bites his lip.

This is his chance.

He can leave Z’ev without repercussions.

Yet he finds, he finds that he can’t.

“I just… I want go home,” he whispers, “ our home, I want to… I want to think.“

Z’ev nods in agreement, “okay, let’s go home.”

The car roars to like and it isn’t long before Nelo falls asleep, his head resting on his alpha’s shoulder.

And Z’ev watches over him.

The omega’s hand cradling his empty belly.

It makes the alpha’s heart ache.

Carefully he places his hand atop of Nelo’s and let’s a tear fall.

XIV

Nelo quickly realizes he can’t stay.

Not with Z’ev, not when the man has a pup (an heir) on the way.  A painful reminder of what he lost.  Of what could have been.

He doesn’t say goodbye.

He simply gets a bag with a few belongings and makes Baldovino help him sneak out.

Beyond the border.

Beyond the safety of his home.

“I still think this is a bad idea,” the beta grunts as he pushes the wheelchair through the unsteady forest ground.

Nelo nods, because yes it is.  He agrees.

But he needs more than time.

He needs space.

He needs-

He needs more than the alpha can offer at this time.

“Nelo?”

The omega peers up and finds Gael at the door with an eyebrow raised, face scrunched in confusion and worry.

“Uh, yes, hi,” he coughs, bruised hand resting in his lap and smoothing out the blanket covering his thighs.

“Come in.”

Baldovino quietly pushes the chair forward, cringing when the wheels scrape against the door frame.

“Sorry to come unannounced,” Nelo mumbles, looking warily around.

“It’s… I… are you okay?”  The alpha asks concerned, kneeling before the chair.

Nelo shrugs tiredly, “I’m not… yeah, I’m not really sure.”

“Where’s your alpha?”

Nelo hunches in on himself.

He scrubs at his face, “he’s with Jacan.”

A low growl escapes Gael’s lips.

A snarl quickly counters the alpha wolf.

Gael shoots a glare to the intruder.

“Who are you?”

Baldovino squares his shoulders, “I am Baldovino, Beta and Right Hand of the Forrest Alpha.”

Gael hisses at the disrespectful beta and Baldovino tries hard not to break, to bow under the pressure of the alpha’s glare.

“Gael,” Nelo chides, “be kind, he helped me get here without alerting Z’ev.”

Gael’s gaze softens as he turns to Nelo.

“He could be in really big trouble if they find out he helped me leave, so please,” Nelo implores.

“Why did you leave?”

Nelo bites his lip and his gaze drifts back to his lap, “I want time, I need space.  I don’t want to… to see.”

It’s hard, painful, but Nelo manages to resist the urge to touch his stomach.

“Okay,” Gael agrees.

“Is B-”

“He’s gone,” Gael assures gently, “I banished him.

“You banished him?  But he’s your dad.”

Gael nearly snarls but he holds his anger back, “maybe, but he never once acted like it.  But don’t worry about him, you just worry about getting better.  Stay, rest.”

“Thank you,” the omega breathes in relief, a little pressure alleviated from his shoulders.

“But he goes.”

Baldovino is about to protest when Nelo agrees.

“So they won’t suspect,” Nelo whispers.

So you can watch over Z’ev.

Baldovino somehow understands, “okay.”

He’s gone within a minute, but not without shooting a glare at the new head alpha of the Ventus back.

Nelo feels like he can breathe easier once he’s gone.

“Are you really okay?” Gael asks once more.

Nelo nods, sighing softly, “I just… it hurts to be around him right now, around anyone.”

“I’m sorry,” Gael frowns.

Nelo laughs a bit wetly, “so am I.”

₩○|¿

Days slowly turn into weeks of pain, of more hurt the longer he’s away.

He can feel Z’ev’s wolf, feel his worry and anguish.

But all Nelo can focus on is the nausea in the morning, in the long afternoons as he continues his painful recovery with physical therapy.

No matter how much he exercises and gains his strength bit by bit, he still gains weight.

Not as he would were he pregnant, but it’s there, a slight firmness to the pudge.

He sighs before wrinkling his nose at the smell of fresh fish.

“Nel?”

Nelo covers his mouth, his eyes shooting desperately to the bathroom.

Gael carefully helps him stand.

Though wobbly and weak, Nelo manages the few steps that lead to the toilet bowl.

He can’t help but throw up, clutching onto the bowl as Gael rushes for a cup of water.

The alpha stops in his tracks, finding Baldovino panting and slightly out of breath.

Gael would love nothing more than to ignore the beta, but he’ll be the first to admit the flush on his skin makes the alpha’s wolf want to see more.

He shakes his head and heads to the kitchen.

“What do you want?  Weren’t you here less than an hour ago?”  Gael accuses.

“Z’ev-”

Baldovino barely gets the name out when a prowling alpha breaks into the house.

Gael’s hackles rise and he growls at the intruder, ready to attack, defend, protect.

But a weak cry of Z’ev’s name makes Gael reluctantly stand down.

The nearly feral alpha stumbles toward the bathroom and he hears the door crash against the wall.

He just knows there will be a hole.

“He followed me,” Baldovino explains apologetically.

“I’m surprised it took him this long to figure it out,” Gael says with a roll of his eyes.

Baldovino only hums, eyes straying to the bathroom where hushed whispers are barely heard.

Nelo hugs the black wolf, burying his face in the soft fur and melting at the smell of alpha.

The wolf licks the tears away, face nuzzling the omega’s neck in relief.

Soon a man occupies the space where there was once a wolf.

“Nelo,” the alpha breathes, holding the omega a little tighter.

“Z’ev, alpha,” Nelo croaks.

Z’ev soothes over the bite where he laid his mark, his claim, many moons ago.  Nelo readily tilts his head and let’s the alpha lick and nip, bathe him in his scent.

Nelo feels warm, like he’s finally home.

“I’m sorry,” Z’ev whispers huskily, voice rough and watery, “I’m sorry I didn’t see, I’m sorry I was blinded.”

Nelo can only hum in acknowledgment, but he’s lost to the feeling of belonging.  The feeling of safety.

“I just needed to see you, to make sure you were, you  are , okay.”

With the alpha’s help Nelo carefully stands, knees unsteady, legs still a little numb.  His arms immediately wrap around the alpha, pulling him close.

“I’m not okay.”

Z’ev holds him a little tighter before noticing the bile.  Nelo pulls away and wrinkles his nose, but the alpha flushes the toilet for him.

Ze’v turns concerned eyes on Nelo.  

The omega can’t meet his eye.

“Are you sick?  Do you need-”

“I’m okay,” Nelo mumbles, throat still scratchy.

Nelo listlessly shuffles to the sink where he rinses his mouth and brushes his teeth.

His lower back twinges in pain despite being completely healed and his belly presses uncomfortably against the sink.

Z’ev stands behind the omega and rests his hands on Nelo’s hips, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into his back.

Nelo slowly straightens and shuts the water off.

Z’ev’s heart clenches.

“You can stay,” he whispers.

Nelo tenses.

The alpha sighs, pressing his forehead to Nelo’s shoulder blade, “I don’t want you to hurt anymore.”

“I just don’t think I could go back and pretend… pretend it doesn’t hurt to see you, to see him.”

“I know,” Z’ev soothes, “I know, it hurts me too.”

Nelo twists until he’s in Z’ev’s arms, nose buried in the alpha’s chest.

“You’re my home, but I no longer want to be invisible.”

“You are mine too,” Z’ev whispers, “and I love you.”

The kiss is chaste, brief, sweet.

Nelo feels like he’s going to be okay.

Not perfect.

But okay.

XV

Nelo hums softly to himself, a small sleepy smile on his face as his cheeks bulge with a bite of cheesy pizza covered in orange marmalade. He can’t help but moan as his taste buds practically explode with fruity amazing goodness. He throws his head back and closes his eyes, taking another delicious bite, his breath hitching.

He’s so glad he’s alone in the kitchen, hidden from judgement, because he really can’t help the way his body is reacting. His cock is stirring in arousal and he feels an embarrassed blush creep on his chubby cheeks. 

“That looks good,” Z’ev snickers.

Nelo pokes his tongue out, amusing the alpha.

Z’ev approaches and gives the omega time to push him away, to stop him in his tracks and maintain the chasm that’s slowly mending.

Nelo does no such thing.

He smiles at the alpha until he’s within arms reach.

Z’ev can’t help but lean in, licking at a bit of marmalade on his omega’s lips.

It makes Nelo sigh in contentment.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Nelo admits, “the stiffness in my back isn’t so bad.”

Z’ev grins, “Good.”

The omega cocks his head to the side and Z’ev can’t help but kiss his nose before pressing a kiss to his delectable lips.

Nelo sighs into the kiss.

“Let’s go for a run,” the alpha offers, “if you’re up to it.”

Nelo pulls back and searches the alpha’s eyes.

“Yes.”

They sneak out the kitchen doors and out into the gardens like little kids, giggling and hushing one another.

They stop when they’re far from the house and Z’ev turns to his omega.  Nelo peers up at him.

“May I?”

“Yes,” he concedes breathily.

Z’ev’s fingers are deft, gentle, as he undresses Nelo.

The omega closes his eyes, enjoying the soft touch, the caress.

“You’re breathtaking,” Z’ev praises.

Nelo snorts, “I’m fat.”

“You’re still recovering,” the alpha says.

He avoids touching Nelo’s stomach and the omega is grateful for that.

Once undressed they shift, changing with elegance as their bones rearrange and pop into place.

Nelo can’t help himself as he rubs against his alpha’s flank, drowning himself in the man’s scent.

The black wolf reciprocates before the omega’s ear twitches and he darts into the forest.  The alpha quickly giving chase.

They weave through the trees, leap over logs, stumble through bushes until they crash into one another.

The equivalent of a happy giggle escaping in the form of a woof.

They roll around the dirt, licking at each other’s fur and nipping playfully.

Nelo tries to ignore the heavy feeling in his gut as Z’ev’s snout presses into his side.  The alpha’s pleased rumbling making him ache.

Nelo licks Z’ev’s nose, making it twitch and the alpha look cross-eyed.

Z’ev urges the omega and the omega teases the alpha before reluctantly canting his hips, fluffy tail waving back and forth in anticipation.

A lick up his cheek soothes any nervous energy as they approach their little pool of water, waterfall spraying droplets onto their fur..

Z’ev nudges Nelo before disappearing in the water.

The omega follows him and and they paddle and wade, tails wagging as they splash.

Z’ev shifts first, swift and just a bit painful.  He chuckles at the confused look on the smaller wolf’s face before Nelo’s human form is standing in front of him.

Z’ev reaches out, hands landing on Nelo’s hips.

They press against one another, breaths mingling together.

They kiss, fierce, wanting, yearning.

Teeth biting, lips bruising.

Nelo can’t help but whimper, legs turning weak.  But Z’ev is there to catch him, to hold him.

Just when the sun begins to dip in the horizon they leave, they trot back home in satisfied silence.

₩○|¿

Nelo doesn’t bother to shift, for some reason he finds that he can’t.

There’s a pain radiating in his back and wrapping around his middle.  He ignores it, thinking it’s the exhaustion seeping in from his excursion with his alpha.

“You sure you’re okay?”  Z’ev asks, running his hand through Nelo’s fur.

The wolf grunts, shifting in discomfort but manages a weak nod.

An urgent knock alerts both wolves.

Z’ev’s brows furrow before he pushes himself off the bed and heads toward the door.

He yanks it open, a bit disgruntled and finds Baldovino a bit breathless.

“Jacan is in labor.”

Z’ev’s heart skips a beat and he turns back to Nelo who lays limp on their bed, panting.

Go, a soft voice urges, I’ll be okay.

Z’ev reluctantly agrees, but not before heading back to their bed and pressing a kiss to Nelo’s head, “I’ll be right back.”

The white wolf nods.

When the door finally closes behind the alpha, he let’s out a groan of pain.

Breath hitching with the building tension.

He pants and breathes through the bouts of pain that makes him cramp up.

He hunches forward and licks at his belly tensing and contracting.

He can’t help but wish he hadn’t send Z’ev off.

But Jacan needs him more.

So he weathers through the sharp pains in the dark.

Silently waiting for the storm to pass.

XVI

Z’ev tries to ignore the feeling gnawing at his chest.  The scent wafting from the pregnant omega even through the closed slab of wood causes his nose to twitch in distaste.

He has ignored the scent thus far, knowing that an omega’s scent changes with pregnancy, but the scent that was once appealing to him is nothing but repugnant now. 

His (Jacan’s) scent isn’t sweet like Nelo’s, it isn’t the perfect mix of them.  Instead, it’s bitter and spicy and it has only grown worse.

All the signs were there.

He should have known.

He barely makes it to the hall that leads to the birthing room. He feels numb and he honestly doesn’t know how he managed to get there.

He realizes though, that he hesitates at the door.

Z’ev stops with his hand curled around the knob. 

Something tugging him back.

A warm hand lands on his shoulder and he finds Baldovino looking at him in concern.

“You okay?”

He doesn’t lie. 

He’s tired of pretending, “No. I’m not.”

“What’s wrong Z’ev?” His beta asks.

“Everything,” Z’ev admits, “Everything is wrong.  I shouldn’t be here.”

“What do you mean?”

This time Z’ev doesn’t answer.

He turns towaed the door where Jacan’s cries grow weaker as he focuses his energy into pushing and bringing forth his pup.

Z’ev is about to rip the door open when a small watery cry of a newborn pup pierces the tension.  There’s a sense of relief flooding through him but when the door opens, Aldon has a grim face.  The alpha feels his heart get stuck in his throat, hands clenching into fists by his side.  He doesn’t wait for the elder to speak, just brushes past him.

The scent hits him hard when he walks in.

It smells like blood, pain, and something else.

He stops at the foot of the bed, wide eyes landing on the pale figure holding a small squirming baby in his arms.  Jacan looks at him pleadingly, tears rolling down flushed cheeks as he’s helped up into a sitting position.

“I’m sorry,” He chokes.

Tears fill Z’ev’s eyes as he stares and stares until it’s hard to breathe, “You-”

“Z’ev please, let me expla-”

Z’ev’s wolf surfaces and he snaps at the omega, growling, eyes filling with anger, with hate and betrayal.

“Alpha Z’ev,” Aldon calls calmly.

“What?” Z’ev hisses, claws extending and digging into his palms until blood seeps between his finger.

“Jacan is still weak from birth, I understand your rage bu-”

“No, you don’t understand.  How can you understand?” He growls, “Jacan lied to me.  He told me he carried my pup but that… that pup isn’t mine .  It carries the scent of another bastard and he lied!  Made me believe I was going to be a father, made me believe that he carried my baby!  He used me, toyed with my emotions, and I believed him, I trusted him!”

“Z’ev!”

Z’ev can’t control his shift, a dark wolf soon standing in the middle of the room shaking in rage and growling at anyone that stands in his way.  He wants to destroy, he wants them to feel what he feels.  But he’s human enough to understand the pup is innocent from Jacan’s lies.  Instead, he storms out the room, away from the scent messing with his head, and heads to his rooms.

To his omega.

He prowls at the closed door.

Tensing when he hears whimpers and sniffles.

His alpha urges him forward and with his jaw, he breaks the knob and pushes inside.

What he finds makes his heart stop.

Nelo raises his head weakly, growling at the intruder from his perch on the bed as his ears twitch.

Z’ev makes himself small, makes Nelo believe he’s not a threat.

Slowly he approaches the bed and Nelo whines low in his throat.

Once the alpha is close enough he gets hit by the smell of pain and blood.

The black wolf leans forward and licks the distended belly covered in fur.

He locks eyes with his omega, his omega who’s crying and in pain and in labor.

Hurts. Nelo pants softly, back arching.

How long?  

Ngh since, since our run.

He wants to ask why he didn’t say anything but he knows the reason.

There was no time.

Just like there’s no time now.

Nelo throws his head back, sharp canines digging into pillows as the wolf pushes.

Z’ev’s breath gets stuck in his throat as he sees a tiny little head poke through..

He reaches down and nudges the pup.

Nelo howls in pain, but Z’ev helps him bring their pup into the world as best he can

Soon enough there’s a little pup covered in amniotic fluid and blood kicking its little legs, completely disoriented.

His little weak yowls tugging at their hearts.

Nelo hunches toward the pup and begins licking it, tongue laving over the dark fur inherited from its father.

Z’ev feels like he can’t breathe.

This is his family.

His omega.

His pup.

But it doesn’t end there when Nelo tenses again with a gasp.

Z’ev frowns and watches another little head with tiny matted ears emerge.

His heart squeezes tightly at the sight.

Z-Z’ev? Nelo whimpers confused.

Keep pushing, the alpha encourages.

Nelo does as told until the babe slips out, little tail curled around its bottom and just as slick and covered as the first.

Nelo breathes in relief, reaching and repeating the same process with their first pup.

He barely licks at the little face before he’s struck again.

It’s then that Z’ev forces himself to shift into his human counterpart.

Nelo is growing weaker and the pups are becoming restless, but their mommy isn’t done yet.

No, Nelo whimpers as Z’ev reaches for their sniffling pups.

Z’ev looks around before emptying their night stand drawer and placing a blanket at the base.

“I’m not taking them away from you, I just need to place them somewhere safe.”

He plops the pups inside with minimal damage from a defensive omega.  He moves away so Nelo can see them.  Both pups curling into one another and seeking comfort.

It makes Nelo tear up, but the pain makes him double over and snap.

Stuck, he whimpers, not right, hurts too much, baby is stuck I- alpha help, please I can’t.

Z’ev’s heart breaks.  He quickly sits at the end of the bed where he sees their third pup and yes, Nelo is right.  The pup is breached, coming out paws first.

“Stop pushing,” he orders immediately.

Nelo is wasting energy and making no progress.

The omega stops, but his pain filled cries are heard through the entire pack house.

Z’ev doesn’t know what to do, he’s not trained for this, but he does the best he can provide for his omega.

He will not let Neli die.

Not him, not their pups.

Carefully he helps Nelo stand, the white wolf unsteady on the bed, but he remedies that as he guides him to the floor where there’s a nest of torn pillows.

Z’ev feels around the white wolf’s belly and finds the head.

“Push at the next contraction.”

Tired, Nelo whines weakly, please .

“Push!”

The white wolf grunts before doing as told, though he’s depleted of energy.

And at the same time Z’ev presses his hand down on Nelo’s belly, forcing the pup out.

It makes Nelo growl and cry at the overwhelming pain.  He momentarily stops pushing, but Z’ev doesn’t.  He continue until the little legs are free and all that’s left is the head.

And finally the pup is born.

“You did it,” Z’ev praises, kissing Nelo’s ear.

The omega purrs, finally blissfully empty.

But their pup isn’t crying, not like the others.

It’s not moving and it’s much smaller than its siblings.

The omega hurries to his pup and nudges at the tiny body.

He looks at Z’ev with unshed tears, urging the alpha to do something, to help their pup, to save them!

Z’ev doesn’t need to be told twice.

He picks up the little pup and stimulates its lungs, rubbing furiously as he wraps the little body in a blanket to keep their warmth.

Nelo whines low in his throat, fearing the worst after long tense minutes with no response.

Suddenly, a weak drag of air fills the tiny pup’s lungs and it starts to cry.

Long and painful cries as it begins wiggling lost.

Z’ev loses all composure.

Tears fill his eyes and spill down his cheeks.

He holds the pup close to his chest before slumping against the tired white wolf and handing him their third and last pup.

Nelo cleans the baby and Z’ev let’s the others nuzzle against Nelo’s side, seeking for milk.

“Thank you,” the alpha croaks.

Nelo flicks his gaze to the alpha and nuzzles his head into his side.

I

didn’t

know I was still preg… pregnant , the words are hard to say, but Z’ev understands.

It was hard learning that he lost their pup only to discover he never quite did.

I

should’ve

realize,

I

didn’t

take

care

of

myself

.  I

didn’t

eat

enough

, I-

“ You did your best, you-your body, protected them when I failed you.  You did amazing, you brought them into the world.  And you can’t understand how grateful I am, how much I love you.“

Nelo sniffs before turning his gaze to their pups.

Thank you, alpha.  Thank you, Z’ev.

  I love you too.

XVII

Z’ev watches over his family, three little pups nuzzling against Nelo’s flank as the white wolf rests and licks their offspring clean.  The alpha’s heart is full of love, close to bursting with how much it’s filled.

In that moment the white wolf yips, grasping the older’s attention.

Z’ev takes a seat beside the wolf and runs his hands through the soft fur still slightly damp with sweat and effort of labor.  Nelo snuggles closer to the alpha, nose burying into Z’ev’s side as they watch over their litter.

Z’ev reaches out and tentatively, almost afraid, he touches their last pup - their youngest, their smallest.

The little pup briefly shies away before melting into the warmth that’s from their alpha father.  Their oldest, however, growls and attempts to nip at the intruding fingers.  It draws a chuckle from Z’ev and a small grunt of amusement from the omega.

A protector, an alpha, a leader.

A knock on the door disrupts their little family and Nelo feels threatened once more as he begins to growl in distress.  Z’ev gently soothes the white wolf.

“It’s okay,” he whispers lowly, throat still aching from unshed tears, “I’ll make them go away.”

Nelo relaxes marginally, though he remains on high alert.

Like hell would he ever let anything hurt his pups.

The alpha slips from their nest and heads toward the door where he finds Baldovino just on the other side.

Z’ev quickly closes the door after stepping out of the room.  He doesn’t want to stress his omega anymore than he already is.

“What?” He asks.

“Is Nelo okay?  We heard howling and…” Baldovino pauses, nose scrunching as he sniffs the air.

“He’s… He’s fine, just tired.”

“What happened?” The beta asks concerned.

“A lot,” Z’ev admits, scrubbing his face tiredly, “A lot, my friend.”

Baldovino bites his lip, “Jacan wants to see you.”

Something twists in the alpha’s gut.

“I can’t,” Z’ev mutters, “I can’t.”

He turns around and makes to return to his family.

“He wants to talk.”

“I can’t, though.  I can’t look at him, can’t hear him out without feeling anger and sheer disappointment.  I can’t promise that when I see him my wolf will not lash out.  I just can’t .”

“Okay,” Baldrovino agrees, “do you need anything?”

“Aldon, go get him when he’s done with Jacan, but tell him to wash up before he enters our den.”

Baldovino cocks his head, but agrees with a nod and leaves the alpha.

Though there’s a sense that something has just happened.  Something big.

He can still smell it in the air, taste on his tongue.  There’s a hint of pain and confusion, but between the mix of it all there is happiness.  Life.  Birth.

He shakes his head and makes his way back.  All in due time.

₩○|¿

Jacan can’t help but sob as he faces the reality of his mistake.

“Why?” Accalia asks, her voice dripping with disbelief and hurt even as she cradles the small pup in her arms as if it were her grandchild.

Jacan sniffles, trying to wipe away at the tears that keep on spilling, “I didn’t mean to.  I love him.  I love Z’ev and I wanted to believe that my baby was his, I really thought… I just…  I didn’t want to hurt him.”

“But you did!”

A soft broken cry escapes Jacan’s lips, it’s getting harder and harder to breathe even as he clenches the blanket covering his sore aching body tightly.

“What happened Jacan, why would you think that Z’ev was your baby’s daddy?” Baldovino asks carefully, knowing that there’s more to the story than they know.

Jacan bites his lip before everything spills in a rush of air, he can’t hide the truth anymore, they already know, deep down they already know, “I-I was struck by my heat when I was hurrying to my room.  I thought I was safe, but someone got a whiff of my scent and I couldn’t… I couldn’t fight him off.  I tried to, I tried so hard.  But I wasn’t strong enough.  He… He took advantage of me, and when he left me, I did everything I could to get rid of his scent, of his trace on my skin. That night, Z’ev came to my room, having heard that I was in heat and he took care of me, never once catching scent of that stranger on me.  And when my heat was over, I thought that maybe I could put it all past me.  You have to understand that this was before he was married to Nelo, before anything happened with that omega.  He belonged to me then, he loved me.  Any trace of that man was gone and replaced by the one I loved.  And when I found out I was pregnant, I held onto that sliver of hope.”

“You lied to him,” Accalia accuses, “he trusted you, you told him he was going to be a father and gave him false illusions.  You should have said something!  An alpha, heck, even a beta, took advantage of you.  We could have helped you, Z’ev would have helped you because at one point he loved you.  But you chose to stay silent, you chose to lie to his face.  He believed you carried his baby, he did everything for you!”

“I’m sorry!” Jacan sobs, “I was scared .”

“We don’t tolerate the abuse of omegas, we treasure them Jacan, you should have had more faith in your pack,” Alpha Conall says, disappointment dripping from his voice.

Jacan curls into himself, “I know… I’m sorry, but I can’t remember who he was, who was going to believe me if there was no one I could actually blame?  My baby was my priority and I knew that Z’ev would forgive me if I lied to him.”

“Forgive you, yes.  Because my son once loved you, Jacan,” Accalia agrees broken heartedly, “But he will never love you like you love him.  You lost his love a long time ago, even before you told him about your pregnancy.  And you know that.” 

Jacan takes the bundle into his arms, tears falling onto the chubby cheeks of his baby, “I know, but please, I just… please…”

Elder Aldon speaks then, “It’s best you rest.  You just gave birth not long ago.  Regardless of what happened, this is something you should talk to Z’ev with.  But you both need time, he needs to come around and you, you need to focus on your pup.”

Jacan nods and he watches with blurry vision as his visitors file out of the room.

“Elder Aldon,” Jacan calls with a sniffle.

“What is it my boy?” Aldon asks.

“Thank you,” Jacan whispers.

“It’s my job to make sure my patients are well, there’s no need to thank me.”

The young omega nods, carefully leading his pup closer so as to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.  The older man leaves with one last look at the broken omega.

₩○|¿

“Alpha Z’ev?”

“He’s requesting your presence in his room.  He wants you to wash up beforehand.”

Alon’s brow crinkles, “Alright, thank you my boy.”

“Of course,” Baldovino smiles, “please make sure that idiot is alright, and make sure he’s taking care of Nelo.”’

“Will do,” the elder chuckles, patting the beta on the shoulder, “now you should go and rest, it’s been a long day.”

“Too long.”

“And longer yet, I’m afraid.”

XVIII

Three weeks later finds Nelo completely shifted to his human form. He’s cradling their youngest pup in his arms, cooing at the little sniffling mess and rubbing their back gently, soothingly.

He looks up and finds Z’ev watching them with adoring eyes, making him blush and turn away. He distracts himself with their pups, tucking them in, playing with them, feeding them.

They haven’t talked yet.

Not about what’s important. About them. Where do they go from here?

“How are you feeling?” The alpha asks, as he’s done every day.

“’m fine,” Nelo mumbles, sighing when their middle pup tries to go exploring.

Z’ev catches the pup easily and he hands them over to Nelo.

Between them, they make a perfect team. Parenting wise.

Nelo wants to know if they could be more, if they could make this work.

He looks up, silently gathering the courage to ask what he’s too afraid to start.

His lips part, but the words die in his throat when there’s a knock on their door.

Z’ev looks at him apologetically before standing up and answering.

From his perch, Nelo can’t see the person, but he’d recognize that voice anywhere.

Jacan.

Something grips his heart tightly, making it ache in his chest.  He’d almost forgotten that he’s second best.

Z’ev returns for a brief moment.  He gives Nelo a kiss on the head before scent marking each pup.

“I need to take care of something,” he whispers.

Nelo looks at his lap, trying to see their pup through the tears that blur his vision.

“I won’t take long.”

He manages a small nod, but refuses to see Z’ev go.

Instead he takes a deep breath and then another and another.

He blinks away the tears and wipes away any strays.

The door creaks open and Nelo quickly looks up.  He gathers his pups and holds them tight, afraid of letting them go.

A familiar head pops in, “can I come in?”

Nelo nods with a sniff.

Baldovino steps inside and closes the door behind himself.

He shuffles to the bed a bit shyly, a bit nervous.  He doesn’t want to trigger or scare the omega after he just gave birth.

Slowly Nelo’s tensed muscles begin to loosen and he allows the beta to sit on the bed.

Baldovino coos at the pups.

He wants to reach out, but again refrains from doing so until given permission.

Nelo doesn’t give express permission, though.  He doesn’t have to.  Not when his oldest slips from his hold and immediately tumbles against Baldovino’s thigh.

The beta rights the little pup, melting at the feel of soft fur when he pets him and earning him a little content sigh.

“Do they have names yet?”

Nelo shakes his head, “no… not officially.  Though I’m thinking maybe… maybe William, Liam for short, for the pup nibbling your fingers.”

Baldovino snorts a laugh at the poor attempt the pup is putting into chewing him, “fits, what about the others?”

“Ayden for our youngest, he’s like a little flame I’m sure will grow.”

“I heard he gave you a scare,” Baldovino says gently.

“Yeah, but Aldon checked him over and he’s… he’s perfect.”

“And how about the princess?”

Nelo can’t help but smile.

He runs his hands over the pup’s head, making her little ears twitch.

“She’s just as headstrong as Liam and they’re only three weeks old.”

“Do you think she’ll be an alpha?”

“Maybe, for now she’s just my little Policarpa, my little Pola.”

Baldovino and Nelo share a moment of silence, both watching the pups.

“Are you okay?” The beta eventually asks.

“No,” Nelo admits, “everything hurts and I… I should be happy, but I just… I’m not.”

Baldovino tilts his head, listening intently.

“I mean, my pups they’re mine and I love them and they make me happy, I’m so happy I have them.  But I didn’t know, I wish I had known .  I would’ve taken better care of myself, I would’ve prepared.  They would have a crib, not a makeshift bed.  The should have had everything.  But I thought I had lost them, Aldon and everyone thought I had miscarried.  And what if I did?  There’s a pup missing that could have been and it hurts to think about.  And then there’s Jacan-”

“What about Jacan?”

“He had his baby,” Nelo frowns, “where does that leave them?  I’m not saying… I mean they’re all pups and innocent, but everything is so complicated.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Baldovino assures, opening his arms and letting Nelo slump against him.

“But it is.  Z’ev, for all the love and care he’s shown me, he still has Jacan he still loves him and they have a-”

“Nothing,” Baldovino interrupts him, “they have nothing.”

Nelo pulls away, about to explain how they in fact have a pup, but the beta shakes his head.

“Ask Z’ev what happened, but know this, Z’ev stopped loving Jacan a long time ago.”

The door opens and Z’ev walks inside with a heavy sigh.  Baldovino excuses himself, but not before giving Nelo another tight hug.

Nelo bites his lip and wipes away any more tears.

Just as the door closes, Z’ev takes a seat in front of Nelo and comforts the omega and their whining pups.

“We probably should talk,” the alpha mumbles.

Nelo nods, “yeah, we really should.”

XIX

Nelo fidgets where he sits.

His hand automatically cups a pup before they can roll of the bed and get hurt.  He distracts himself with their little yips and yowls, their little nibbles and sniffles.  But he knows he can’t for long.

They need this.

He needs to rip it off like a bandaid.

When it seems like neither is willing to continue the conversation, he closes his eyes and prepares himself.

For the hurt.

For the anger.

For what, he’s not entirely sure.

“I love you.”

His eyes flutter open and he stares at Z’ev.  He’s waiting for the “but” that never comes.  The alpha’s eyes are sincere and wide.

“I’m in love with you, I fell for you.”

“But Jacan,” Nelo whispers.

The alpha bristles at the name, his scent turning acrid which makes their pups sneeze and cry.

Nelo frowns as he gathers them up and comforts them.

“I’m sorry,” Z’ev apologizes, reaching for Ayden and cradling him close to his chest.

Their little runt snuffles against him, rubbing his little snout on his shirt.

“He’s not you.  He was my past, but you are my now, my future.”

“The pup?” Nelo whispers.

A poor pup shouldn’t have to suffer from the mistakes of the adults.  It wouldn’t be fair.

“She’s not mine,” Z’ev sighs.

Nelo looks up in surprise, eyes wide.

The alpha looks defeated, angry… tired.

“He was… he was taken advantage of when he was in heat.  He thought that maybe I was the father and not his rapist, but even before she was born my alpha rejected Jacan, rejected his scent.”

Nelo covers his mouth.  That’s horrible.  Why?  Who would do that?  Who would take advantage of someone when they’re at their most vulnerable?

He doesn’t know what to say though.

What can he say?

“What happens now?” Nelo asks softly.

Where does this leave them?

Z’ev’s brows furrow.  He’s not so sure himself.  He doesn’t know.

“Whatever you want,” He answers honestly, looking so earnestly and vulnerable.

Nelo gulps, averting his gaze.

“What do you want?”

The omega bites his bottom lip, taking a shuddering breath.  They’re close.  Closer than before, the space narrowing until their lips touch in a chaste kiss, pups in between.

Nelo pulls back.

“I’m not sure what I want,” he responds sincerely, his brows furrowing, “I’m sorry.”

Z’ev shakes his head, “Don’t apologize, there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“I want so much,” Nelo continues, staring into the alpha’s eyes, “but not right now.  Not with you. Not… just no.”

Z’ev purses his lips.  He nods in understanding.  He wouldn’t want to either.  Everything is just so complicated.

“Can we start over?” Z’ev wonders tentatively, “Try a hand at this co-parenting thing while we’re at it.”

Nelo offers a small smile, “I would like that.  Friends?”

Z’ev grins, “friends.”

A small snort escapes Nelo when Ayden sneezes once again.  Pola yipping at the sound while Liam playfully growls.  Z’ev plucks him up and snarls in return, making Liam respond once again.

The pups play and yip and growl until they tire themselves out.  Eventually Z’ev rises from his perch after helping Nelo tuck each pup in their makeshift bed.

“Z’ev?”

“Stay.  Here.  This is your room, your nest.”

“What about you?” Nelo wonders, sitting up in the bed.

“I’ll sleep out in the couch, don’t worry about me.”

Nelo wants to protest, but with a quick affectionate ruffle of his hair, the alpha is gone.

Nelo stares at the closed door, his heart still pounding.  Lips tingling from their shared kiss.  He closes his eyes.  He can do this.  They can do this.  Start again, known each other again, love again.

Love always.

He smiles.

Epilogue

Nelo won’t lie, it’s a little bit awkward stepping out of the safety of the room he’s come to known as his, as theirs.

Everyone stares at him after going weeks without his presence.

They all gawk at his appearance.  The pack’s hushed whispers follow him when they note the faint milky scent of pregnancy clinging to his body.  Their curious gazes only make him more uncomfortable when they spot the pups in his and Z’ev’s arms as they walk around, trying to get them used to their surroundings.

He shies behind Z’ev, but the alpha merely places an arm around his waist and guides him where his parents are no doubt waiting.

Accalia practically squeezes both Z’ev and Nelo, but her attention is instantly on the pups in their arms.  She gushes at how pretty the babies are, how each is a perfect mix of both of them.

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” she says, pressing a kiss to both their heads.

And that is that.

Except, life doesn’t return to normal.  His relationship with Z’ev is still a little strained, especially now that the alpha is making arrangements with Gael on the territory expansion and all that jazz.  He’s busy.

In the meantime, Nelo spends time with his precious boys and little princess, who are still in their pup form nearly a month later.  

He watches them sleep, watches the rise and fall of their little furry chests intently.

He feeds them when they’re hungry and when Nelo feels well enough to shift, he does so and bonds with his pups, playing tug-a-war and tickle fighting.

Unfortunately, this means he doesn’t exactly have time to lose the extra weight he gained during his pregnancy and he might have a persistent, though mild case, of the baby blues.  

Accalia says it’s normal, as does Aldon.  And alpha Conall even shares a few stories of what a terror Z’ev’s mother was during and after pregnancy to make him feel better.  And still he loved her til the end. For a moment it does make him feel better, even though he wishes he could spend more time on his relationship with Z’ev. 

What they have now is perfect though.

They get to know each other at their own pace, explore one another slow and steady.  Their shared kisses slowly holding more meaning as they show their vulnerabilities to one another.

But he still feels alone and in need of someone who’s going through the same thing, he goes in search of the one person he’d never thought to look for.

₩○|¿

Jacan ignores the commotion of Nelo’s return and everything that’s come with it.  It hurts to know he wasn’t good enough for Z’ev but he’s glad at least one of them gets a happy ending.  So, instead of thinking of his shitty life, he chooses to focus on his baby girl.

However, a few days later, a shy knock lands on his door startling him from his dark musings.  He cautiously opens the door, wondering who would visit him after being shunned for weeks now.

“Hi.”

Jacan bites his lip when he sees who, and he allows the omega to step inside, “Hello Asena.  How may I help you?”

A small smile threatens to twitch on his lips when he sees two pups stumbling behind Nelo.  How the Goddess has blessed him.  He’s glad.  He deserves happiness.

Nelo stands there awkwardly (he should really work on his people skills), before sighing and offering Jacan a small tentative smile, “I was wondering if you’d like to talk.  I love my babies, but I’d really like to spend time with someone who understands what I’m going through.”

“And your best bet is me?”

Nelo flushes at this, “well you’re the only one who’s had a pup recently and they’re only hours apart.”

Jacan won’t admit it, but it felt good to talk to someone.

At the end of the day, they’re both a bit breathless from laughing and they both feel much lighter after talking about the shitstorm that’s their life.  The pups even tire themselves until they’re napping in a puppy pile of little tangled limbs and softly whistled snores.

“I don’t blame you,” Nelo says as he gets ready to leave, plucking the pups as best he can, “I probably would have done the same.”

“Thank you Nelo,” Jacan smiles and is surprised when Nelo attempts to give him a hug.

“We’ll find him,” the omega assures.

“I don’t know if I want him found, to be honest,” Jacan shrugs.

“Then if we do we do, and if we don’t we don’t.  But you have a family, this pack is your family and I want to be your friend.”

₩○|¿

Everything comes crashing down when a small whimper draws his attention to the bassinet a few days later.  It has him perplexed because his oldest pup just ate, he shouldn’t be hungry so soon.

And the whimpers turn into loud yowling.  His heart races in a panic when he picks up his pup only to find him burning up.  Confused and distressed at his pup’s cries, he rushes to Z’ev’s study, not bothering to knock as he enters.

Z’ev is by his side in an instant, “What’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t know, he was talking his nap with the others, but then- then he started crying and he’s warmer than usual and I don’t know what’s hurting him,” Nelo cries in a rush.

“Easy, baby, don’t drive yourself into a panic attack.  Well just take him to Aldon, okay?  He’ll fix our little boy right up,” Z’ev soothes, “what about the others?”

“They’re still sleeping, but-” Nelo’s heart is tugged at the strings.

“Go back to our room, I’ll get Aldon.”

Nelo reluctantly agrees and a teary hiccup escapes his lips as he nods.

Ayden and Pola are still sleeping, but Liam’s distress increases and makes them whine in their sleep until their little eyes open and they start crying too.

Nelo tries to hush them and soothe his pups, but nothing helps.

His heart stammers in his chest, his omega nearly going insane with how helpless he feels.  It isn’t until Aldon arrives with Z’ev right at his heels that he begins to calm.

Aldon approaches the omega on high alert.

He takes one look at Nelo and the distressed pup before he offers them a warm smile, “He’s okay.”

“How do you know?” Nelo asks a bit desperately, “You haven’t even checked him over and he’s still crying.  He’s hurting .”

“Deep breaths,” Z’ev reminds in a soft whisper against his ear as he comes around his mate.

His soothing voice is enough to lull his racing heart but the fear is still there, it’s still entirely too real.

“Nelo, close your eyes and tell me what you feel, I need you to really concentrate,” Aldon says.

Nelo does as told, still thinking this is only wasting time.  They should be caring for his pup, for his baby.

And he feels it.  It’s like a tingle just on the surface of his skin.  It’s like an excitement, an itch he can’t quite scratch but unlike his heat, it’s welcomed, it’s soothing.

“The moon,” Z’ev guesses.

“Correct my boys, tonight is a full moon,” Aldon agrees.

“And the baby?” Nelo sniffles.

“Well, you gave birth as a wolf and because of that your baby was born a pup, so tonight he’ll be shifting into his human form.  All of them will.  It’s like teething but… on a drastic level.  His body is aching and preparing itself to shift, you should give him a cool bath.  It’ll help with the pains and it will bring down the fever,” Aldon informs, “do the same for the others.”

Nelo feels a heavy weight lifting off his shoulders, “Thank you, Elder Aldon, and sorry for bothering you.”

“It’s alright Asena Nelo,” the elder smiles, “it’s understandable, after all, you’re first time parents.  There are many firsts to come and not all will be so scary.”

He leaves the little family alone after that.  Omega and alpha finally at ease with a sense of reassurance.

“What about work?” Nelo asks as they lay in bed, freshly bathed puppies sleeping between them, snuggling one another and taking comfort from their parents.

“You’re my priority, you and our pups.  Work will always be there when I return, these moments will pass by and I’ll never get them back if I let them.”

Nelo can’t hide his little proud smile, “we’ll be okay, right?”

“Better than,” Z’ev grins.

It’s then that they hear a pained cry and they look toward the pups who wriggle about in bed.  Nelo winces when he hears the first bone crack and he swears he’s about to start crying again when he hears his baby’s distress whimpers in a loud chorus.  But Z’ev is there.  And he holds his little family close, and where there was once wolf pups, are now  month-old babies shivering and crying their lungs out.  Z’ev scoops Liam up as Nelo wipes away his own tears, feeling only a little ridiculous until he sees tears glistening in his alpha’s eyes.

It’s later that night, when their pups are safely swaddled, finally done hurting, and fast asleep that they share slow languid kisses as they admire what they made.

They’re going to be okay.

The end.