It’s what you wanted

A/N

It’s just a 8k one-shot, guys. Had the idea come to me and just wrote it down. Not going to lie, not a lot of thought went into this.

TW: Not sure if a warning is needed, but there are talks and scenes about transitioning. I’m really not good with tw, so if you feel like one needs to be added, please feel free to comment below ( nicely, please) also if you are uncomfy with harry using her pronouns don’t read.

✨️✨️✨️

’ Beauty begins the moment we decide to be our true selves. We are not what other

people

say we are

, we

are who we know ourselves to be.

Don’t

change yourself to win

someone’s

heart. Stay true, and you will eventually find someone who loves

you, for

you

.’

“Finally, I’ve been looking for you everywhe-”

Harry becoming distracted and wandering off around the mall is something Louis is a hundred per cent used to by now. Normally, he is found browsing the gaming shops and sometimes even fumbling about in the hair shops. You know, the places they sell hair products and creams and shit. It’s understandable, Harry’s hair has exceeded down past his shoulders now, and those curls must be hard to look after, but today, today is different.

“ Ummm H, what… um, what are you doing in here?“

Harry freezes as he hears his best friends voice. He had thought Louis was currently still chatting up some blonde outside the ice cream store and wouldn’t even notice his absence. He doesn’t like to hang around and third wheel. In fact, he despises seeing Louis anywhere near a woman.

“ Oh, it was Gemma! Yeah, I saw her with her friend in here and came to say hi, that’s all.“

Louis holds in a laugh but is quick to frown as his curiosity spikes once more.

“ Where is she then?“

Harry pretends to think and bites his lip nervously as Louis suspiciously looks around.

“ Yeah, they left a few minutes ago.“

It isn’t the best excuse, but it must be believable, as Louis doesn’t push it any further. What he does do, though, is unknowingly hurt Harry in a way that severely pushes down a desire within himself that was eagerly seeking to come out.

“ You plan on buying those?“ Louis laughs, and Harry immediately darts his eyes down to his hands, where he is holding two sets of red and black panties with matching bra. There’s no hiding the embarrassment as he slams them down onto the rack beside him.

“ Yeah, right, of course not, I was holding them for Gemma while she collected up all her bags, and I guess I just forgot to put them down.“

Louis smiles as he inevitably breaks Harry’s heart with the words that continued to flow.

“ For a minute there, I thought you were gonna tell me you were changing into one of those femboys.“

Although his words didn’t sound nasty or with anger, it was the laugh prior to him speaking, that let Harry know he was teasing. Louis doesn’t know that Harry likes both women and men and his teasing couldn’t have happened at a worse time, because tonight Harry had planned on telling Louis how he really felt about him. Although, Louis has never shown any signs of hatred or negativity towards the LGBTQ community, Harry truly has no idea where Louis stands. He had been a bucket of nerves all morning, because the way he feels towards his best friend has been creating a war inside his head. The last thing he wants to do now is possibly push away the one person he can’t live without.

The person in question, the long time best and closest trusted friend.

Louis Tomlinson, the university bachelor, desired by every woman on campus and let’s just say, seventy-five per cent of those women have been lucky enough to experience Tommo’s bedtime antics. Or so Louis claims anyway. Harry doesn’t question whether it’s true or not. What he does know is that Louis quite often spends a few hours every night outside of campus. Harry has normally studied until late into the night before Louis would come back to their dorm, sometimes, he wouldn’t even return til morning. Either way, he always felt obliged to give Harry details on which ‘chick’ he had scored.

Harry initiates a natural reflex, a coping mechanism if you will……. and laughs along.

“ What? No! I’m not a femboy, now let’s go get those Tacos.“

Each week they spend at least two nights having dinner together, no matter how busy they get, they attend dinner with no exceptions. It’s a silly rule they decided on years ago when they first met in the dorm when they moved in. This week it’s Taco Tuesday and Tuna bake Thursday.

💫

“ Don’t you dare, I swear to god I will kick your arse, that’s mine!“

Harry smirks as he lowers the last remaining Taco from his mouth down back onto the plate. He isn’t sure why he just ‘obeys’ Louis. In his eyes, the Taco was free play. They hadn’t settled on a ratio of who gets what. So what if Harry had eaten two more than Louis, does that automatically give Louis the right to the final one? Not by Harry’s logic, it doesn’t.

By the time they have eaten and settled on a movie to watch, Harry plonks down beside Louis, shuffling up close, to share popcorn. Sharing a single bed, they sit comfortably with their backs against the wall, a couple of fluffy pillows shoved behind them.

It’s not until about thirty minutes into the film that Harry looks at Louis and scrunches up his nose.

“Did you fart, ewe, Lou Jesus Christ!”

Harry covers his nose as he bangs his elbow into Louis’ waist playfully. Louis’ mouth falls wide open in surprise as he begins to muck around roughly. He throws the laptop to the side of the bed as he begins to wrestle forcefully.

“ Thats it, Styles!“

Tumbling to the floor in the most typical cliché way, Louis lands directly on top of Harry, ultimately pining him to the ground. It’s as though time stands still as both stare deeply into each other’s eyes. Harry is momentarily freaking out as he cops a good whiff of Louis’ cologne. He scans Louis’ face and for a split second he frowns, because all he has ever wanted could possibly come true, because did Louis just look at Harry’s lips then gently bite his own? Surely he had imagined it, right?

Harry has always been the type who believes that only those who risk going too far, can possibly find out how far it is possible to go. 

As the old saying goes, there’s no time like the present. Harry wants to take his one shot. With such a small gap between them, Harry leans up connecting their lips. Just as Harry had always believed, Louis’ lips did in fact taste as good as they looked. A whole three seconds of heaven is what Harry experienced before Louis flung himself backwards, wiping his mouth, clearly shocked at the sudden forwardness.

“ What the fuck was that?“

Harry can tell immediately that he has ruined everything. As Louis searches around for his jacket and phone in an attempt to leave as soon as possible, Harry knows it’s now or never. He might not get this opportunity again, if he has already fucked this up, he might as well just lay it all out on the table anyway. Trying to push past him, Harry lifts his hand to Louis’ chest, predominately stopping him.

“ I really like you, Lou.“

“ I like you too, Harry, but what the hell was that about, huh?“

“ That’s not what I meant and -“

“Fucking hell, I know what you meant H, i’m just so confused right now. You like boys?”

Louis is frustrated as he runs his hands down his cheeks and across his mouth.

“You know me, I’m not… Look, I’m into girls. The boobs, the makeup, lingerie and all that stuff. Dicks are just not my thing, Harry.”

Harry is petrified of losing his best mate now, and it must really show because Harry is shaking from head to toe. Louis takes a deep breath. The last few minutes have been one hell of a shock but seeing the way Harry looks so broken, Louis can’t handle that.

“I’m sorry, I really am. I’m extremely flattered that you wanted to kiss me ok but, that can’t happen again, alright. Let’s just pretend none of this happened, yeah.”

Harry wishes that could be the case, but truth be told, he is utterly embarrassed right now. He nods his head in agreement, too scared to move or say anything else. ’ Pretend it never happened’ . How can that work when there’s no doubt that things won’t ever be the same again. There’s only two weeks left of Uni and if the uncomfortable tension wasn’t already enough, the atmosphere between them was surely set to change.

💫

One entire week, seven whole days, one hundred and sixty-eight hours, ten thousand and eighty minutes. That’s how long it’s taken for Louis and Harry to actually once again share a room. Louis has made it his mission to steer clear of Harry at all costs, or so it seems anyway. Every night, when Harry returned from class, Louis was never there. Sometimes there was a note scribbled on the back of a receipt or random piece of paper, saying he was out with friends, or he was out studying. Most nights he never came home and on the rare occasion that he did, it wasn’t until it was almost dawn. When Harry woke, Louis would sleep. When Harry entered the room, Louis would leave. The thing annoying Harry the most was the fact that Louis was still being nice. He would provide a small friendly grin if they passed by each other in the halls, and drew a little smiley face on his notes, it was the whole avoidance thing that was pissing him off.

It was today, this day, that Harry had made a life-changing decision. He spent countless nights pondering about his future and how he wants to spend it. After much deliberation between himself and his conscious, he has come to the conclusion that he wishes to be free.

There’s a certain type of risk rooted in the courage of being free. Sometimes what you are most afraid of doing, is the very same thing that will set you free. He is tired of hiding and suppressing who he wants to be, who he feels he actually is, the real him, who hides away.

Some might feel Harry’s choice was based on what Louis’ wants, but it’s not. Louis’ words and actions just gave him the little push he felt he needed, to make the step in discovering and opening up what his mind and body already desires.   

Sitting alone in their dorm, Harry opens up the little paper bag and pulls out the nail polish. It’s a baby blue colour and if it so happens to match the colour of Louis’ eyes, than no one needed to know. 

Staying a reasonable distance away from Harry had been difficult, to a point Louis almost cried. He misses his best mate and after being joined at the hip for the last few years, Louis felt somewhat empty without Harry around. He found himself struggling to concentrate in class, and even lost the impulse to pursue women. Most nights, he stayed with his other close friend Zayn, who lived off campus. 

This last week though was even tougher, because in six days time they graduate and go their own ways. Opening up the dorm room door, he braces himself to become face to face with Harry for the first time since their kiss. Like he knew he would be, Harry is laying in bed reading a book with only the bedside lamp on.

He doesn’t speak straight away, opting to remove his shoes and jacket and pull back his bed covers. It’s only ten twenty pm and Harry doesn’t appear to want to be the one to break the silence either, so Louis nervously looks over at him.

“What are you reading?”

Amused at the question, Harry lowers his book and smiles.

“ Don’t pretend to be interested, you hate reading with a passion.“

It makes Louis laugh, and that should make him feel better, but it doesn’t. However, he does know what will.

“ I know I’ve kind of been MIA, and I’m really sorry about that. I kind of just needed some space and-“

He looks over to see Harry staring and fidgeting with the hem of the blanket.

“ Harry, please look at me.“

Locking eyes now seems foreign.

“ I’m sorry, I should have reacted better and-“  He pauses for a second. “I should have been there for you, and I wasn’t. I feel terrible.”

Although Harry likes hearing that, it still stings a bit as it digs up that dreadful night.

“ It’s fine. I shouldn’t have done what I did to begin with, it was stupid.“

“ Harry, it wasn’t stupid.“

Harry looks away, closing up his book and shoving it into his drawer.

“ You want to hug it out?“

Harry smiles, but it’s not a happy one, Louis recongises it though, and he can see the hurt and discomfort.

“ No, it’s fine. Goodnight, Lou.“

Switching off the lamp. Louis lays down properly and rolls towards the wall. His heart is hurting in a way he had never expected because Harry didn’t feel comfortable hugging him anymore and he knows he only has himself to blame.

He closes his eyes and the last thing he sees is green eyes and the new blue nail polish he had noticed.

💫

As fate deems it fit to interrupt, the two boys funny enough physically bump into each other outside the printer room two days later. Bending down to help pick up the couple of sheets of paper that Harry has dropped, Louis notices a gold ring with a pearl on it, on one of his fingers.

“ That’s new.“

Harry frowns because he isn’t sure by the tone Louis had used, whether he was being sarcastic or not. Louis picks up on the concern and is quick to correct himself.

“ It’s pretty. I like it. It suits you, H.“

“ Thank you.“

For some reason, this makes Harry blush as he fumbles with his necklace which then also regains Louis’ attention.

“ Oh, and a necklace. Let me see.“

Moving forward without any hesitation, he collects the pendant into his hand, that softly brushes against Harry’s chest, causing him to slightly shiver. He inspects the gold cross closer and smiles.

“I don’t know why, but I always imagined you to be a silver kind of guy, but gold does look good on you.”

It shouldn’t affect Harry as much as it does, but as Louis smiles and turns around to leave, Harry can’t escape the butterflies roaming his stomach.

💫

Time has flown by rapidly and before they both know it, it’s time to go home. They graduated yesterday and to celebrate, Louis went out with Zayn and had a couple of shots. Harry, however, stayed home and packed his bags. He has never been so eager to return home, back to his mother and sister.

Louis gets a shock when he opens the door the following morning, to see a well-dressed Harry standing there with his bags all ready to go.

“ You’re leaving already? We don’t have to be out until tomorrow 6pm. I thought we could- never mind.“

Harry isn’t sure if what he is about to do will serve him well, but he steps closer and holds his arms out, wrapping them around the shorter lad, binding them into a tight embrace.

“You were the bestest friend I could have ever asked for, I would never have survived these last few years if it wasn’t for you.”

Louis is listening, but at the same time he is fully entranced because what is that alluring smell. It’s like cologne, but it’s not, and Louis cant seem to put his finger on what it is. Louis pulls back first breaking the hold, and holy shit, being this close once more has Louis’ lips mere millimeters from Harry’s.

“You too H. Keep in contact, yeah?”

Harry nods his head, but deep down, they both knew it wasn’t going to happen.

It’s only then that Louis notices the shine.

Harry’s lips are plump and glistening. They look shiny and so wet.

Its gloss.

Harry’s wearing freaking gloss, and Louis’ mind begins to think all sorts of pleasantries.

Too caught up in his own thoughts, he misses Harry pick up his bags and walk towards the door, where he suddenly stops.

“ I’m going to miss you, Lou.“

Louis frowns and doesn’t say a word as the door closes because if he dares to open his mouth or even move, tears are going to be spilled.

“ Well, I’m already missing you, Harry.“

Of course Harry is no longer there to hear it, but Louis feels broken beyond repair as he sinks down into his bed. He lays there for hours before he becomes hungry. The day drags on and when night time falls, Louis lays in complete silence as he looks over at the empty bed.

Louis doesn’t feel complete with Harry no longer there. Louis reaches over and grabs his phone, opening up his photo gallery to a picture of his parents and siblings. You see, Louis is very family orientated and proud of where he grew up. It’s just too bad, that those he loves and the community he resides in are a hundred per cent homophobic.

Louis loves Harry, he always has. From the very first moment since they met actually. But when your family and closest friends from back home despise gay people, Louis has never, and will never, admit to anyone that he is bisexual. There’s nothing he would love more than to have a relationship with Harry but Harry, he would want to meet his family and well, well that could never happen. So Louis, being Louis, put a cross next to Harry’s name and made him untouchable. In his own mind, that’s the only way he felt he could protect him and that, was the way it had to be.      

💫5 years later💫

Louis has had a bad month. If something had the possibility to go wrong, it did. The person he was dating has recently dumped his ass, his rent was raised dramatically last week, and to top it off, he just got fired today. Sometimes life is hard, and with everything seeming to hit him all at the same time, for once he just wishes he could unwind and relax a little.

He skulls down the remaining schooner of beer and slams it on the bar. He had hoped to pull someone tonight, but there’s hardly anyone around. Besides himself, there are only roughly ten other people in the room, and they all look as equally depressed as he is. Getting laid would surely release some built up frustration, but as it seems, the odds are not in his favour tonight. Looking over to the wall clock, he sees it’s just passed 12.30am. The waiter comes over to collect his glass as he digs out a $20 sliding it across.

“Keep the change.”

You see, he hasn’t got a lot of money to spare in theory, but he did get paid today, and even though he should be saving, drowning his sorrows feels more fitting.

The walk along the curbside is somewhat unflaterring. The neighbourhood he is currently in, is quite the distance from his apartment. He isn’t too familiar with the area. He had worked only two blocks away, but had never taken the time to explore the surroundings. After losing his job today, he had stormed out of his office and just walked. He walked until his legs lead him to this bar he had just vacated. There’s vomit along the pathway that he finds himself having to dodge frequently, and he is sure all he can smell is urine. He turns three more corners before he almost bumps into a Young couple dry humping each other against a wall. Apologising quickly, he crosses the road and turns left into an alleyway. He comes face to face with a bright red neon sign displaying the name ‘Crazy Horse’. It has an outline of a naked woman, and it instantly becomes apparent as to what this place is. Well, he thought it had. He assumed it was a stripper place or erotic dancers if you will. He smirks to himself as he stares at the sign. ’ Why not ?’ He thinks to himself. He wanted to get his dick wet tonight and even though it might not have happened, this is the closest to being the next best thing. As if he feels naughty, he looks around to make sure no one watches him enter. Un known to Louis, walking through this door was about to bring his life crashing down yet again but this time with double the impact.

Entering the establishment, he comes to the conclusion that he had been very wrong in his assumptions. The small foyer is empty, not a person in sight. The first thing to grab his attention is the red lighting, followed by the black velvet seating. ’ Shit ’ he mutters as he looks around. There’s a reception type desk with a security video screen above it. He looks at himself and shakes his head as he comes to terms with where he is. He is micro seconds away from turning around to exit as a beautiful older lady appears from the behind the back door.

“ Good evening, sir, Champaign?“

As she approaches closer, Louis has no clue as to why he automatically reaches for the glass from the serving tray she is carrying.

“Thank you.”

The woman smiles, probably sensing Louis’ awkwardness.

“Welcome to the Crazy Horse. I’m guessing by the way you seem so nervous that this is your first time?”

The heat in Louis’ face burns as embarrassment kicks in, and not just because of her low-lying blouse, but more so because he doesn’t exactly know what ‘first time’ she is referring to. He scans his eyes around the room, hoping for any other clue as to where he might have landed himself.

“ There are no strippers here, are there?“

He tries really hard to refrain from giggling as he says it but fails when the woman begins to laugh.

“Strippers, no. We do however provide adult entertainment at spectacular rates.”

The moment she winks, it fully clicks as to where he is.

’ Shit ’

The lady moves around by the desk and returns with a clipboard placing it into Louis’ hands.

“What’s your name, love?”

“Louis”

“Well, Louis, my name is Sally. You have nothing to be scared of. Here, have a look at our prices and rules and see what you think, and please  remember, everything that happens here is fully confidential.”

Nodding his head, he starts to read as he sits down on the black velvet studded chair. He should have just gotten up and left, but he hasn’t been able to make himself do so. It’s like a part of him is being enticed to stay, that he ’ needs ’ to stay.

After reading the rules and guidelines, he is confident that this place is legit and well thought out. It’s the price he has an issue with. $369.00 for one hour. He debates back and forth in his head for what feels like an eternity. He almost stands when the front door opens and two older gentleman walk through. They must be regulars, as Sally hands them a board to which they sign quickly, and she lets them on through to the back quarters.

“ So, Mr Louis, have you decided?“

Standing up, he walks to the counter with a nervous smile.

“ You only live once, right?“

“Perfect. Sign here and I will assign you a match.”

Halfway through signing his name, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. This is Louis’ first mistake because from this moment on, he loses his concentration.

It’s his Ex girlfriend that broke his heart not long ago. He is surprised to hear from her but proceeds to read her text.

“Male or female?”

That question regained his attention as he looked up.

“ Oh, um…yeah, female, definitely female.“

Louis hasn’t been sexual with a man since he left uni. Something in the way he had treated Harry somehow set it in stone that he should just play around with women. The nights Harry was told about all the chicks he had picked up, half of them were men.

He goes back to the text as Sally keeps asking her questions.

“ Older, younger or same age as yourself?“

He doesn’t look up this time as he answers, his eyes glued to the long ass short story of a text instead.

“Close to my age if you can.”

“Any preference to blonde or brunette?”

Again, he mumbles his response.

“Either is fine… No wait, brunette, please.”

Sally is giving a speech about their review system as he zones out just as he receives a nude pic accompanied with a very enticing caption. It seems Clara wants to reconcile tomorrow.

“ Your room number is 38“

She slides the room card over to him as she now finalises the transaction.

“ Cash or card?“

“ Hmm?“

“ Cash or card?“

Louis grabs out his wallet, and hands over his card.

“Thank you. It’s all gone through, and your room is waiting. Hope you enjoy your stay with us.”

He quickly placed his phone back into his jean pocket and collects the key.

“ Right this way.“

💫

Walking down the hallway, he won’t lie, he does feel a bit guilty, especially now hearing from Clara. The pic she had sent has made him rock hard and right now, to hell with it. With the week he has had, he deserves this, and plus he’s already paid. There’s no way he’s wasting that type of money. He begins to palm himself gently as he walks, he can’t help but work himself up. Now, as obnoxious as this may sound, all he wants to do is quickly fuck this woman in record time and go home. The hallway is dimly lit as he watches the numbers on the door pass by.

25, 26, 27

Fuck, what number had she said. Now he wishes he had listened properly.

28. Yes, that was it.

Our destiny in life is not written for us, but rather by us. It seems fate is about to step in, in a way Louis never expected because Louis, is about to make one hell of a mistake.

He turns the door knob and quietly enters through. The room is without doubt breathtakingly stunning. The dark gray walls and interior are brought to life with rose gold trims.

His heart is beating at an incredible pace, still not believing he is doing this. His breath hitches when his eyes land on a tall, beautiful woman. Her back is turned away from him as she sways her hips in rhythm as she dances to the soft alluring music.

Her legs are covered with black stockings that stop just above her knees, where some fishnet starts until it’s lost at her extremely short black dress. Her long wavy dark hair looks so clean and vibrant as it settles halfway down her back.

’ Fucking hell’

All he can think about now is how ready he is to start pulling  the hair when this bitch begins to scream his name. He places his car keys, wallet and phone down onto the table, and it catches the woman’s attention. She is about to turn around when she feels a soft, warm hand slide up the side of her thigh. It sends tingles down her spine instantly, but she must stop this as she’s fully aware her regular client isn’t due for another two hours and those were certainly not the hands she was used to. Someone has entered the wrong room. It’s the only explanation.

Hot breath hits the back of her neck, right before she feels the softest set of lips tentatively press forth a kiss. Louis’ nose is doused with the strongest scent of floral perfume as he stands directly up against her. She can feel the man’s arousal hitting her ass. She needs to end this, but something happens, something that makes her immensely scared. The man slowly moves his lips across her neck, up to her ear.   

“God, you are beautiful.”

Harry becomes still, frozen in time, losing all train of thoughts.

No.

No way were those words coming from the voice she adores, a voice she hadn’t heard in many years but would recognise anywhere. Now it’s final, she needs to speak or move or do something to put this to an end, but her body betrays her as she drops her head to the side, allowing Louis to lick up her neck to nibble seductively on her earlobe. Harry almost moans out loud and to try and stop herself she clenches her legs together, which totally doesn’t help because Louis’ hard cock caught the brunt of it, making him thrust his hips slightly. Feeling Louis so hard against her own ass causes Harry to become painfully erect.

It’s wrong on so many levels, and Harry feels guilty and somewhat deviant. Harry is definitely going to hell for this one, that she can confirm. Not thinking about any repercussions anymore, she pushes her ass back firmly onto Louis’ cock. This drives Louis to proceed further and faster as his hands slide down her back, where he rests his hands on her hips after firmly but passionately smacking her ass.

An arm reaches around Harry’s torso where Louis cups her breast. He burrows his hand under her dress, caressing her areola. He squeezes her nipple and Harry can feel the pre-cum leaking through his lace panties.

“Are you ok to take it in the ass, love?”

The way he whispers makes Harry take a hold of her dick. She uses her thumb to circle around her head as she slowly bends over, her answer now evident. 

’ Fuck ’  Louis murmurs as he fumbles quickly to free his dick from his jeans. He brings his index and middle finger to his mouth, where he moistens them by giving them a sufficient amount of spit and uses it to lubricant her ass.

Being lost in his own little world, Louis hasn’t noticed the girl has yet to speak. Lifting her dress only enough to make it easier, he aligns himself at her hole. He doesn’t worry about prepping etc. He obnoxiously assumes that in her line of work, she would have already prepped herself when clocking in. In fact, he is correct, Harry is prepped and ready to go.

“Are you ready, sweetheart?”

Harry, who is still not wanting to blow his cover, decides to just ‘show’ him instead. He leans forcefully back, which results in Louis entering him. Louis doesn’t move straight away taking in how warm her walls feel. How surprisingly tight she is.

“ Shit, you feel amazing.“

Louis begins to move, rolling his hips in and out at a steady pace. As good as it feels physically, emotionally Harry is struggling because Louis is being so gentle, so sweet about it all and to think he is saying these nice words to make her feel safe and secure sends a tear to roll down his cheek, because Harry is finally getting everything she had ever dreamed of.  It’s just the way she’s gone about it that makes her feel disappointed in herself.

In the mist of a beautiful moment and with no explanation as to why, Louis looks at the girl from the side to see her black cross necklace bouncing back and forth as he pounds into her and like a tidal wave strikes he finds himself reminiscing of Harry.

They say that fate is written by an anonymous author, and well, this writer is about to thicken the plot because after several minutes of Louis thrusting vigorously and becoming tired and worn out, he shocks Harry by saying something she had hoped she wouldn’t hear.

“ Turn around and ride me, babe.“

Louis pulls out of her and hisses at the loss of contact, and sits down on the long bench seat at the end of the bed. Harry is in shambles, his heart thumping out of control. Pressing her lips together tightly, she can feel herself become light-headed. This is it, Louis is going to freak the fuck out, she knows it.

Harry has no choice.

There’s no way around this.

She breathes out a large amount of air and slowly circles around. Harry is glad to see that Louis has his head fallen backwards looking at the ceiling, panting, trying to catch his breath.

Well, she’s come this far, she might as well follow through. She straddles Louis’ lap. Harry has never experienced such a high density of anxiety as she watches Louis’ head slowly tilt upwards towards her own.

Time has the power to achieve many things. One of those outcomes is that time can destroy us or even push people apart. Time can also allow us to heal, to reassess opportunities that may have been provided to us.

But time….. Time can also bring people back together.

Louis gasps, but it’s barely audible, too in shock to really produce any sounds. From here on out, the atmosphere changes as expected. Louis’ eyes roam all over Harry’s face, but what exactly it is that he’s searching for isn’t clear. Is it for an explanation, for clarity, for confirmation, he has no clue. What he does know, is that Harry doesn’t look like he used to.

His hair looks radiant, his face is full of make up, but somehow it manages to bring out all of Harry’s features. His lips are so red and…… holy fuck, Harry has breasts.

“ Har-“

Intuition takes over and Harry places his finger over Louis’ mouth to keep him from speaking. Louis gets the memo to be quiet and stays still.

For the first time in five years, blue meets green once again. They examine each other’s pupils like they’ve never seen each other before. It’s so quiet as they continue to stare. Harry lifts slightly and Louis knows what he’s doing and yet, he doesn’t object or move away. With eyes still firmly locked on each other, Harry lines Louis’ dick at her entrance and sinks down onto it, causing Louis to moan.

“ Oh fuck, fucking hell.“

Removing his finger from Louis’ mouth now that Harry is satisfied he won’t run, she begins to circle her hips grinding down, trying to take his dick as deep as she can. Rotating a few times, she lowers her hands to Louis’ chest to keep balance and begins to ride him slowly. As she lifts up and down, their eyes have still not deviated anywhere else. Leaning back to sit up straight, Harry takes a hold of Louis’ hands and plants them to her breasts. It shouldn’t feel this intimate but it does.

Louis squeezes gently, causing Harry to moan. The action encourages Harry to start riding harder and faster. Simultaneously, they both almost explode their load, but Harry doesn’t want this moment to end just yet. He is pretty positive this experience will be a one-off, so he really wants to make the moment last. He stops suddenly, and Louis still hadn’t quit staring, it’s near a point of creepiness, but it’s not, because Louis couldn’t fond any harder if he tried

It’s starting to feel all too surreal, and Louis almost thinks Harry is wanting to stop, that maybe this isn’t what he wanted. Louis licks his lips as he watches Harry’s every move. This scares Harry more than ever before because that action is what initially began their downfall the last time.

Harry’s panic-stricken face must give him away and Louis bravely steps out of his comfort zone. He leans forward, cupping Harry’s cheek. Harry takes the cue and leans closer just as Louis moves his hand to the back of Harry’s neck, pulling him in tight. Connecting lips, Harry fully believes he has entered the pearly gates. An explosion of fireworks are currently combusting upon the pair as Harry parts his lips, letting Louis attack and taste his entire mouth. While still kissing, Harry uses a spare hand and takes both penises into her hand. The frotting is working them up fast, so quick in fact that Harry feels the build up of pressure in his vein. With a loud grunt, he comes all over Louis’ torso. The only way he wants this to end, is with Louis’ cock in her mouth. He maneuvers downwards, going straight for the checkered flag. He deep throats him immediately, sucking and slurping like her life depended on it. Louis is quick to his high, ejaculating his warm cum down Harry’s throat.

Wiping his mouth as he stands up, Harry turns around, as it now appears she is bashful. She has no idea what to say or do now, and it’s awkward as fuck. Harry turns around, ready to face the music. There’s a loud crunch heard and Harry is almost certain it’s the sound of her heartbreaking because Louis is moving fast to get dressed, and suddenly this scene looks all too familiar.

The moment Harry had stood up it was like reality had set back in, the euphoria he had felt minutes earlier, already stored in the past.

’ It’s Harry, my best friend Harry. I can’t touch Harry, Harry needs to be protected at all costs.’

Everything is running through his thoughts like warning bells, and he knows he must get out of there. He feels confused and terrified, shocked, yet happy. Looking at the way Harry is nervously swaying, he steps closer to hold his hands. He doesn’t want to leave Harry and end things the way he did years ago, but he can’t stay, he needs air, a lot of air. He leans forward, placing a chaste kiss to his cheek. He doesnt move away from his face as he whispers.

“You look stunning, H.”

Louis turns, picking up his belongings, and heads straight out the door.

Harry, feels déjà vu. She has literally been sent back in time, or so the burn in her chest tells her.

“ Lou, wait.“

Opening the door, Harry rushes down the hallway, but Louis is out of sight. There are tears flowing down her cheeks as she barges into the foyer, where she is just in time to see Louis close the door.

“ Hannah, darling, are you ok what’s wrong? Why are you crying, did something happen, oh my god did he hurt you?“

Sally is rushing out a hundred and one questions out of pure concern for her staff member and friend.

Hannah .

Two years ago, Harry had legally changed his name after successfully finishing his transition. After finishing university, Harry dove into work, using his degree as an accountant to save a tonne of money. At the time, Harry had googled and researched and put many hours of deliberation into making his decision to become a woman. As young as he can remember, It’s who she felt she always wanted to be. After the consultations with the doctors, Harry proceeded to get her breasts. Many hormone treatments later and she finally felt comfortable and satisfied within her own skin. Changing her name, was the cherry on the top.

‘Harry’ had finally felt free .

Working here is a part-time casual ‘hobby’ that she enjoys. She gets paid to get laid, and that suits her just fine. Not having many friends in her life at the moment, this really is the only time she gets to interact with people because she works from home as an accountant.

“No, it’s ok, sally. I’m fine, I’m fine. Um….”

Hannah couldn’t help but cry as she soon felt Sally hug her.

“ Sorry, Sally.“

“ Do you know him or something?“

Wiping away the tears, she turns to Sally first before looking at the door.

“I used too.”

💫

Louis manages to walk a full block before he stops to catch a breath. He looks around, not recognising where he is. He begins to hyperventilate as tonight’s activity plays over in his mind.

He keeps debating with himself.

Keep walking ahead, or turn around and go back?

’ FUCK ’ He says a little too loudly. Lucky for him, no one is close by.

By the time Hannah has cleaned up her room, she apologises to Sally and cancels her regular. She sits in her ‘room’ for approximately two hours, going into a sort of trance, staring at where Louis had not long ago been seated.

Nope, she can’t do this to herself again. She gets up and says her goodbyes to Sally. A nice hot shower is definitely what is needed. Exiting the front door, she wraps her coat around tightly as the cooler breeze hits her face.

“ Harry?“

Spinning around, she sees Louis sitting on the ground, his back against the building.

“ Have you been waiting here this whole time?“

Louis stands up, dusting off his jeans.

“Majority of it, yes.”

Harry can’t disguise the relief washing over him. Louis didn’t run this time.

“Harry, I really think we need to talk. Are you free tomorrow?” He looks down at his watch. “Or today, should I say” he laughs. It earns a giggle from Harry, who extends out his hand.

“ Here, add your number and I will message you a time and place in a few hours.“

Louis refuses the phone.

“No need. I still have the same number.”

“Oh. Ok.”

Where words are often restrained, the eyes can talk a great deal. That, is why intense eye contact, is the most powerful weapon on earth.

“Alright, um, so later then.” Louis says shyly.

“ Later, then.“

“ Later.“

“ Later.“

With both sporting huge smiles, Harry turns around, clicking his car key to unlock his car over in the adjoining car lot, while Louis orders an uber. 

💫

Louis received a message an hour ago. The plan is to meet in a small sushi place not too far away from his place. Is he nervous? Damn straight he is. But the talk they so desperately need, had been way overdue anyway.

Over at Hannah’s, she is an absolute mess. Standing in front of her full length mirror, she pretends to gag. She’s got on some tight skinny jeans and a button up shirt. It’s what he used to wear in the past, it’s what Louis knows him to be, but he doesn’t feel comfortable right now. He looks at himself one last time before returning to the closet.

Louis had arrived ten minutes early. So he goes ahead and orders a coffee until Harry arrives. He scrolls his phone when he suddenly is brought to the fact he has ghosted Clara. He looks at her last message and deletes it just as he hears his name.

“Hey, Lou.”

Wow, Louis tries to hide his shock as he watches Harry sit down across the table from him. Harry knew this wasn’t going to be easy and going by Louis’ reaction, he felt it might be better to just address the elephant in the room before anything else.

“ Lou?“

“ Hhm?…oh yeah, hi.“

Harry sucks in his bottom lip, nervous for what’s to come.

“ I’m sorry, it’s what I wear now and -“

Louis interrupts him abruptly.

“Harry, you don’t need to apologise for what you are wearing. It’s a shock, but-”

Hannah is scared that Louis hates it. The last thing he wishes is for him to run again.

“I’ve always felt this way for a long time. The feminine side of me always wanted to come out, so if you don’t like it then-”

“Harry!”

Hannah stops instantly, just like she used to when Louis asked.

“I was going to say, that you look lovely. Yellow really suits you.”

Hannah exhales loudly, making Louis smile.

Harry is wearing a knee-length yellow summer dress with a V-neck neckline, exposing her cleavage perfectly.

Hannah, goes on to explain to Louis about how it all happened. From the desires he hid, to the feelings he felt for Louis back in uni, to the surgeries she had endured.

“ What made you want to, you know, make the big changes?“

“ At the time, I thought it’s what you wanted“

Hannah sees the way Louis’ face drops, a sense of guilt fulfilling him.

“ I didn’t change because of you, Lou, I did it for myself. To feel complete. I never felt whole.“

“ That’s one hell of a story, Harry.“

Harry looks down to the table and back to Louis. After hearing it all, Louis has so far, been supportive. He, too, had apologised for his actions at uni and now, there’s another thing he wants to inform Louis on.

“ It’s Hannah.“

Louis frowns, a little confused. He hadn’t stopped to think that maybe Harry had a girlfriend.

“ Who is Hannah?“

Louis doesn’t realise he is holding his breath waiting for an answer.

“Me, I’m Hannah.”

The amount of surprises today just keep tallying up for Louis.

“ Oh….that’s something I’m going to have to get used to.“

Hannah internally screams, because does that imply that Louis wants to see him again?“

The conversation is surprisingly flowing easy and after a couple of hours of eating and talking, there’s only one last thing to discuss. ’ Last night.’ 

“About last night.”

“ Harry, we don’t need to-“

“ Hannah, and please I need to say this.“

Louis wants to slap himself in the face because he has fucked up her name once again.

“I should have stopped the moment I heard your voice. I should have turned around and directed you to the correct room. I was selfish for my own needs, and for that I truly apologise.”

Leaning across the table, he takes a hold of her hands to reassure her everything was ok.

“The same goes for me, I had the chance to leave when I saw your face and I didn’t…. I wanted you too, I always have.”

It opens up the opportunity for Louis’ to express his own fears and concerns regarding his family. He explains that the women he bragged about were sometimes men.

After a lengthy discussion, both of them decide it’s time to leave. Standing just outside the restaurant, Louis finds it extremely difficult to look away. Shiny lips, beautiful smell, radiant outfit and that gorgeous smile. Louis is fully gone, but it’s ok, because Hannah is in the same boat.

Reaching out for her hand, Louis kisses the top of her hand like a princess. Melting into each other’s eyes once more, Louis makes the biggest risk of his life.

“I love you, Hannah.”

Hannah couldn’t smile any wider if she tried. She cups Louis’ cheeks and kisses him passionately.“

Louis smiles as they lock eyes one last time.

“ Just for the record, I always loved Harry too.“

💫

A/N

Yeah, I have no idea why i wrote that but anyway hahaha.

Anyway, here is picture of Hannah.