Prologue

This story is a work of fiction. All characters, names, places, events, and incidents portrayed in this book are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, institutions, events, or locales is purely coincidental.

This novel may contain themes involving gender identity, discrimination, emotional conflict, and romantic relationships. It is written with the intention of telling a heartfelt story about love, self-discovery, acceptance, and personal growth.

This story features a transgender woman and a straight man in a slow-burn romance. The experiences and perspectives presented are fictional and created for storytelling purposes.

Reader discretion is advised for discussions of prejudice, family conflict, and emotional struggles. Thank you for giving these characters a chance to tell their story. May their journey remind you that love sees beyond labels, and that everyone deserves to be loved for who they truly are.

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“Tyler… no! We’re in the parking lot! M-Mamaya na lang sa c-condo mo…” Avigail moaned, her fingers clutching my messy hair as she tried to find her balance.

She purred like a cat when I started marking her skin. Red against white. It was a sight I’d never get tired of. I smirked against her shoulder, my teeth grazing her skin before I pulled her brassiere down to her waist, exposing her to the dim light of the cabin.

Napa-igik siya nang isinubo ko ang dulo ng kanyang dibdib. I felt it harden almost instantly against my tongue. While I teased one side with my teeth, my other hand was busy, kneading the soft weight of her other breast.

I felt her tremble. That low, shaky moan of hers was enough to make me lose it.

“Tyler! Ano ba! Baka nakakalimutan mong hindi pa tinted itong sasakyan mo?” Hinawakan niya ang magkabalang pisngi ko at bahagyang itinulak ako palayo. I took a deep, ragged breath before looking up.

She was flushed. Terribly beautiful. Her cheeks were crimson, her lower lip caught between her teeth, and her eyes—damn, her eyes were screaming for the same thing I was.

“Why are you so worried? Nasa madilim na parte naman tayo, ah?” I muttered, my voice dropping an octave. I took her hand, guiding it down until she felt how much I wanted her.

“I’m so hard, Avi. Mamaya na tayo mag-enrol,” I said, my voice thick and hoarse. To hell with the schedule and the long lines at the registrar.

She gasped and pulled her hand back, hitting my arm playfully. She let out a small giggle that sounded more like a surrender. I leaned in again, burying my face in the crook of her neck, tasting the salt and perfume on her skin.

“You’re so naughty, baby! Mamaya na sabi sa condo mo eh!” She rolled her eyes, but her palm found me again. She squeezed gently, a slow, deliberate pressure that made my head spin.

“Damn.” I looked at her, my eyes dark with frustration.

I groaned like a wild beast as she winked at me, casually fixing her shirt as if she hadn’t just turned my world upside down.

“Isa, Tyler. Mamaya na,” she warned when I made a move to close the distance again. I let out a sharp exhale, leaning back against the seat to calm my nerves.

I couldn’t exactly walk into the registrar’s office with a visible bulge. Tangina, mahirap na.

“Fine… mamaya ka sa akin,” I smirked. Her face reddened instantly, and I watched her swallow hard. That reaction? That was enough to tide me over. For now.

Nang makapasok kami sa loob ng school, hinanap agad ng mga mata ko sina Jededaiah. Ang mga gago, hindi sinasagot ang tawag ko at hindi rin nagre-reply sa texts.

Tangina talaga. Tulog pa siguro ang mga hayop.

I tuned back into Avigail’s voice. She was going on one of her rants about clothes she hadn’t worn yet—listing brands and stuff I couldn’t care less about. Honestly? It was boring. Girls and their obsession with outfits… nakakasawa din minsan. I just nodded at the right times, letting her talk.

She’s been my girl for five months now. Naging kami days before the second semester of Grade 11 ended.

It actually amazes me that I haven’t gotten tired of her yet. Maybe it’s because she isn’t suffocating like my exes. Or maybe it’s the fact that she’s a literal goddess in bed. She knows exactly how to handle my drive. I like it rough, and she lets me have my way. That kind of compatibility is hard to find.

Of course, I spoil her. I play the part of the good boyfriend—dates, gifts, all that cheesy stuff she likes.

Do I love her? No. But I like her. A lot. She’s easy to be with and she’s hot as hell. But love? That’s a heavy word. I’m not there yet.

Grade 12 na ako. People say it’s normal for guys my age to have a high sex drive, but I’ve always been like this. I was young—way too young—when I had my first taste of it with a girl older than me. Since then, it’s been a constant hunger.

Sumunod na ako kay Avigail sa registrar para kunin ang schedule namin. I sighed, checking my phone one last time while we stood in line. Wala pa rin. Ang mga mokong, mukhang wala talagang balak gumising nang maaga.

“Anong oras na ba sila umuwi? Anak ng!” I hissed under my breath. I checked Jededaiah’s profile, and my jaw tightened. The last story was five hours ago—the idiots stayed at the club until sunrise.

Alam kong hanggang hapon pa ang kuhanan ng schedule, pero mas gusto kong umaga para iwas sa dagsa ng tao. It’s more efficient that way.

I already picked up two pairs of P.E. uniforms and four school polos. I didn’t bother with the slacks; I have my own customized black ones that fit better than the ones they sell here.

“Tulog pa ba sina Dominic?” Avigail asked as I held her hand, leading her toward the canteen. It was the only place to kill time for now.

“Yeah…” I said lazily, pushing the door open for her.

“Sasabay na raw kasi sila Khaye sa mga boyfriend nila, eh,” she added, her eyes glued to her phone.

I went to the counter to buy us some food. While waiting for my order, I stood there staring blankly at the menu, debating if I should add anything else.

That was when I smelled it. A sweet, subtle scent—not the heavy designer perfume Avigail wore, but something more natural.

Napa-lingon ako sa tabi ko. A girl was standing there, her forehead creased as she focused intently on the paper in her hands. Her schedule.

I squinted at the paper she was holding. Her fingers were partially blocking the name, but the rest of the details were clear as day.

Grade 12. STEM.

And then I saw the section. Tangina. We’re in the same section.

Whoa…

She had to be a transferee. In a school this small, I’d definitely remember a face like hers.

I did a quick scan. Around 5’2“, petite frame. Her chest was small—I’m not gonna lie, she’s a bit flat—but damn, her hips and her ass more than made up for it. The curves were definitely there.

Then I looked at her face. I’ve been around enough girls to know when they’re wearing no-makeup makeup, but this girl?

She was completely barefaced.

And she looked… familiar.

Heart-shaped face. Jet-black hair that reached all the way to her waist. A cute upturned nose and full, plump lips that looked naturally flushed—’yung tipo na parang kakahalik lang kaya namumula.

Her skin was porcelain smooth, the kind that would probably turn red with just a light squeeze.

Then I noticed the small mole just above her right lip.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen a girl this effortlessly beautiful. She was wearing a white rib spaghetti strap under an oversized checkered shirt, paired with high-waisted denim that highlighted exactly what I was looking at earlier.

My eyes dropped to her shoes. Airforce 1s, probably a women’s size 6.

Saan ko ba siya nakita? Or maybe she just looks like someone from my past?

“Miss! Ito na po ang order niyo!”

She lifted her head and smiled at the employee. It wasn’t just a smile; it was magnetic.

Her porcelain teeth showed as she adjusted her pink Herschel backpack. She tucked her schedule into a yellow envelope before taking the tray.

This girl… she isn’t just pretty. She’s hella fine. Familiar talaga ang hitsura niya sa akin.

She licked her lower lip. “Thank you po!” her voice was husky and soft, and it sent a weird jolt through me. Oh, damn.

She turned and walked away without so much as a glance in my direction.

I had the sudden, intense urge to crane my neck just to watch her walk—to see exactly where she was going to sit.

“Ang ganda nun, ah,” sabi ng kasama ng employee. Napalingon ako sa kanila at kitang-kita ko kung paano nila halos baliin ang mga leeg nila masundan lang ng tingin yung babae.

“Sinabi mo pa, pare!” natatawang iling nung lalaking server habang bumabalik sa trabaho.

I just shrugged. I didn’t care about their side comments—they were just stating the obvious. She’s really pretty… and fucking hot.

I smirked to myself. Kung hindi lang ako commitment-bound ngayon, baka naging isa na siya sa mga babae ko. And honestly? Kung maghiwalay man kami ni Avigail ngayong taon, talagang mapopormahan ko ’to.

She looks like she’d be a challenge. One look at her face and you’ll know she’s not the demure type. Halatang palaban. I wondered how many guys had already tried their luck with her. Ilan na kaya ang dumaan sa kanya?

Iginala ko ang mga mata ko pagka-abot sa akin ng order namin.

Tangina. Huwag mong sabihin na hinahanap mo talaga siya, Tyler?

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, and caught sight of my girlfriend waving at me with a sweet smile.

Dumiretso na lang ako sa pwesto namin at inilapag ang tray sa lamesa bago umupo sa tabi niya.

“Ugh! Thank you, baby! You really know my favorite talaga!” Avigail chirped, clinging to my arm the moment I sat down.

I gave her a small, practiced smile. I kissed her forehead—a move that usually keeps her happy—before my eyes instinctively drifted, scanning the entire cafeteria again.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Nasaan na ’yon?

Wait…

Bakit ko ba hinahanap yung babaeng ’yon?

Malakas kong binatukan si Dominic habang nakapila sila ni Jededaiah sa registrar. Of course, they’re with their girlfriends too.

“Fuck!” he hissed, clutching the back of his neck as he glared at me. “Bakit ka nambabatok?!”

“Tangina niyo! Inabot na kayo ng hapon!” I snapped back.

Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin habang hinihimas pa rin yung batok niya. He looked like he was about to swing at me, so I just laughed and threw an arm around his shoulder before he could.

“Fuck you, man! Enrollment lang naman ngayon, ah!” Marahas niyang hinawi ang braso ko bago niya ako itinulak. I stumbled back a bit, but I just smirked.

Sumama na kami ni Avigail sa pila nila. To kill time, we talked about video games and random shit, just to ignore the heat.

“This is what you guys get for running late. Ang bagal tuloy ng usad natin,” I shook my head, complaining. I was getting restless—bwiset talaga ’tong mga ’to.

The girls eventually joined the conversation, and the topic shifted to our next hangout.

“How about sa Enchanted Kingdom?” Kharylle suggested.

“Maiba naman tayo, girl. Puro na lang tayo theme park. How about hiking? O kaya, mag-beach naman tayo?” Reizza countered.

Everyone agreed with Reizza, Jededaiah’s girlfriend.

“Oh my gosh! Yes! I can finally wear my Frankies collection bikini!” Avigail giggled. She looked up at me and smirked, knowing exactly what that meant for me.

I snaked my hand around Avigail’s waist, pulling her close, and nuzzled my nose against her neck.

“Can’t wait to see how sexy you are in your bikini, baby…” I whispered huskily, letting my breath linger on her skin. She just giggled, that playful, sexy sound that usually hooks me.

Nalibang kami sa usapan naming magkakaibigan, and for a second, I actually forgot about the heat. Hindi na namin namalayan na malapit na pala kami sa pinto ng office.

“Next!” sigaw nung babaeng registrar.

“Hi!”

That voice. The same seductive, soft tone that caught my ear earlier. My brows furrowed instantly. My eyes locked onto the girl I was looking for in the cafeteria. My friends were still busy talking behind me, but my attention? It was completely centered on her.

I noticed the sudden change in the registrar’s expression. The usually grumpy attendant was actually smiling warmly at her.

“Oh! Buti naman at naisipan mong isukat muna?” tawa nung babae sa kanya.

“M-Medyo malaki po kasi sa akin ’yung pants. Okay lang naman po yung T-shirt,” the girl replied. Her tone was sensual—it felt like she wasn’t even trying to be seductive; it was just… natural.

“Extra small ka, ’neng. Hindi small. Akin na ’yang resibo mo.”

“Dadagdagan ko na lang po yung kulang ko, Miss,” the girl said, looking surprised when the attendant handed her two pairs of extra small P.E. sets instead.

“Ay, hindi na! Ayos lang! Walang masyadong extra small dito kaya baka mabulok lang.”

“Ah! Thank you po!” She bowed her head respectfully before turning to leave. She was carefully folding the paper bag when she happened to glance in our direction.

Her bewitching eyes met mine. For a split second, her eyes widened. She scanned my friends, blinked a few times, and then brought her gaze back to me.

Her lips parted in surprise. I saw her eyes light up—a genuine, friendly smile started to form on her face. Is she smiling at me?

“Next!”

“Uy! Si Vin—Vanessa!” Jededaiah suddenly blurted out, rubbing his eyes like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

My mouth dropped. Kilala niya?

Dominic’s forehead creased. “Huh? Si Vanessa? Nasaan?”

Tangina. Sinong Vanessa?!

“You two know her?” I asked, my voice tight. Dominic just burst out laughing, shaking his head at me like I’d just said the stupidest thing in the world.

“Malamang! Kaklase natin siya nung elementary tayo! Limot mo na?” He grinned at me.

I just stared at them, completely lost. I am so fucking clueless right now. Wala akong maalalang Vanessa na naging kaklase namin. They’ve got to be kidding me.

“Where is she, bro?” Agad na tinuro ni Jededaiah kay Dominic iyong babae na kumaway sa kanila habang may matamis itong ngiti sa mga labi.

“Uy, Vanessa! Long time no see!” Jededaiah shouted, waving like an idiot.

My jaw practically hit the floor. Did he really just greet her like they were old best friends? I turned my head slowly toward… Vanessa. She was already walking toward us, a small smile playing on her lips. My forehead creased in total confusion.

“Tangina mo naman, bro! Si Vince!” Dominic hissed, leaning in close to my ear. “Iyong bading na kaklase natin nung elementary! Iyong bading na baliw na baliw sa’yo!”

The name hit me like a truck. Vince… Vince… Vince…

My eyes widened as the gears finally turned. What the… fucking fuck?!

Si Vince ’yon?! Itong… magandang babae na… naglalakad sa harap ko ngayon?! Holy…

No wonder she looked familiar. But wait—ano na ba siya ngayon? Bading pa rin ba? O babae na talaga? Fuck! Tangina! I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

But damn it! Paano naging ganoon ang hubog ng katawan niya? Bakit ganoon kalaki ang ipinagbago niya? Even her voice—it was so soft, so natural. She must’ve gone through surgery. Yeah, that’s it.

Imposibleng hindi siya nagparetoke para maging ganoon kalambot yung facial features niya. And the voice? May bading ba na ganoon kalambot ang boses? I felt a surge of heat crawl up my neck.

Fuck. I was literally checking her out earlier. My mind went back to all the dirty thoughts I had in the cafeteria, and I felt sick and confused at the same time. I didn’t know whether to be impressed or disgusted with myself.

I could never forget Vince. He had a massive crush on me since we were kids. He was so vocal about it that it made every day in school a living hell of teasing and ship jokes. I never entertained him, and honestly, it was annoying as hell, though I never really had the heart to bully him. He was harmless, just… persistent.

I remember being so relieved when he moved schools for Junior High. I thought I was finally free from the constant teasing.

And now? He—she—is standing right in front of me. And she’s the hottest girl I’ve seen all day.

“Hi! Kamusta kayo?” Nagagalak na bati ni Vince—o Vanessa—nang nasa harapan na namin siya.

“Ayos lang naman! Ikaw, Vanessa?”

Ipinakilala nina Dominic si Vanessa kina Reizza na halatang kuryuso. Vanessa offered her hand for a handshake, acting every bit like a lady.

“Kaklase namin siya nung elementary, lalaki ’yan noon! Babae na ngayon!” halakhak ni Jededaiah.

Vanessa just rolled her eyes playfully. I couldn’t help myself; I kept observing her facial features, looking for any trace of the kid I used to know.

“Ang ganda mo naman…” namamanghang puri ni Khaye. Vanessa gave her a wink.

“Thank you! Ikaw din naman,” she replied. There it was again—’yung kalambingan sa tono niya na parang natural na lumalabas. It was starting to get under my skin.

“Oh my gosh, Vanessa! Let’s be mutuals sa Instagram!” Reizza immediately pulled out her phone. They started exchanging socials, chatting away like old friends.

“Hi, Tyler!”

Tiningnan niya si Avigail na mataray lang na nakatitig sa kanya. My girlfriend tightened her grip on my arm, practically marking her territory. I saw a flicker of amusement in Vanessa’s eyes, like she found the whole thing funny, before she looked back at me.

“Hello,” awkward kong bati. I gave her a small, forced smile.

She parted her lips like she was about to say something more, but her phone suddenly rang.

“See you guys na lang this pasukan, I have to go na!” she said, checking the screen.

“May boyfriend ka na?” usisa ni Dominic, may kasama pang mapanuksong ngiti.

“Yup! Magkikita kami now. Sige, mauna na ako!” She waved and walked away, not even giving me a second glance this time.

My forehead creased. Boyfriend?

“So you mean to say that she’s gay—”

“Babae siya, noon pa man. She’s trans, just like my sister,” Khaye corrected Reizza, who just nodded in understanding.

Kanina pa nila pinag-uusapan si Vanessa habang naglalakad kami palabas ng school. I don’t know why they’re so fond of her. Kaya pala kilala pa nila Jededaiah kasi mutuals sila sa social media. All this time, they were updated, and I was the only one left in the dark.

“May gusto ’yon kay Tyler noon!” Dominic suddenly blurted out. I shot him a look that could kill, which only made him burst into louder laughter. Damn.

Whatever. May boyfriend na naman siya, so I’m safe. She probably doesn’t even look at me that way anymore.

And besides, hindi naman ako papatol sa kanya kahit ganyan pa ang hitsura niya. Tss…

Chapter 1

“Why the fuck did you add him?!” iritadong asik ko kay Jededaiah. Pinapakialaman niya yung phone ko nang hindi ko namamalayan, and I hated what he just did.

He just used my account to add Vince on Facebook.

“Oh? Bakit iritado ka? Hindi ka na naman gusto ni Vanessa, at isa pa, may boyfriend na iyon!”

I guess he goes by Vanessa now. Mukhang sanay na sanay na silang tawagin siya sa babaeng pangalan kaya napangiwi na lang ako. Si Vince pa rin siya sa mga mata ko. Lalaki pa rin siya para sa akin, kahit anong gawin niya sa sarili niya. Tss.

I didn’t buy Jededaiah’s excuse. The way he was looking at me—alam kong gusto niya lang akong asarin. Tanginang gagong ’to. Masusuntok ko na siya riyan sa ngisi niya, eh.

Nangingisi niyang ibinalik sa akin yung phone ko kaya inis ko siyang tiningnan. Suddenly, a notification popped up at the top of my screen.

Vanessa accepted your friend request.

I shut my eyes tight, trying to shrug off the irritation. Hinayaan ko na lang at pinalagpas dahil may punto naman si Jededaiah—it’s just a social media thing.

“Chat mo!” udyok niya. I just shook my head and shoved the phone deep into my pocket before returning to the table. It was my turn to break.

Pasukan na naman bukas kaya nakatambay kami rito sa basement nina Dominic. We’re playing billiards to kill time—and to celebrate my single life, again. I broke up with Avigail because she’s been annoying the fuck out of me this past week. Masyado na siyang naggy; parang bawat kilos ko dapat alam niya. Tangina, nakakasakal lang.

Kharylle mentioned that Avigail was a crying mess and advised me to talk to her for closure or to give us another chance.

What for? Break na kami. I don’t see the need for closure, and there’s no way in hell I’m giving her another chance.

“Ang laki talaga ng ipinagbago ni Vanessa, ’no? Before naging kami ni Khaye, popormahan ko pa sana siya kung hindi niya sinabing siya si Vince,” Dominic laughed, leaning on his cue stick. “Like bro, a beautiful girl added me on Facebook randomly? Hell, bihira lang ’yon!”

Jededaiah snorted. “Why? What’s wrong with having a relationship with her? Babae naman na siya, ah?”

“I know—”

“Mga gago kayo, ’wag nga kayong magpaka-hipokrito riyan,” putol ko sa kanila. My voice was cold. “He doesn’t have a pussy, kaya ayaw niyo—”

“Bro, what the fuck?” Dominic cut me off, looking surprised.

“She identifies herself as a woman,” Jededaiah added firmly.

I grimaced. “Ah? My bad then. Pero tangina niyo, hindi niyo naman talaga papatulan ’yan kasi bading pa rin siya sa mga mata niyo. Gago ba kayo?”

Dominic just shrugged and didn’t respond, but Jededaiah’s gaze lingered on me, judging.

“Homophobic ka—”

“I’m not. I’m just saying the truth,” asik ko sa kanya. “Bakit, jojowain mo ba ’yun?”

He smirked. “Oo naman, naka-talking stage ko kaya si Vanessa noon,” he admitted. He wasn’t even joking; his face was dead serious.

My mouth dropped. The fuck?! Bakit ngayon ko lang ’to nalaman?

Bahagyang natawa si Dominic. “Hindi mo pa alam na siya si Vince noon?”

“Alam ko na, tanga. But that didn’t stop me from liking her back then. Ang kaso lang, madami pala siyang kausap noon maliban sa akin. Hindi pa siya seryoso.”

“Playgirl ’yun si Vanessa,” Dominic added with a chuckle.

Okay, hindi na ako makarelate sa usapan nila. Tangina, naka-talking stage na pala siya ni Jededaiah? Fucking gross…

Simula nang makita nila ulit si Vince, bigla na lang siyang nagiging topic out of nowhere. Isa rin siya sa dahilan kung bakit kami naghiwalay ni Avigail. Bobo kasi ni Jededaiah, talagang inungkat pa yung mga nangyari nung elementary kami sa harap ng ex-girlfriend ko.

Pinagselosan ni Avigail si Vince—na wala naman akong pakialam. Because why the fuck would she get jealous over a transgender person? Someone I haven’t even talked to? Iniiwasan ko nga si Vince noon, ’di ba?

I stretched my arms and groaned, resting my aching back against my gaming chair. Kakatapos ko lang mag-Ragnarok. I yawned drowsily and rubbed my eyes before reaching for my phone to set an alarm. Tss… huwag muna kaya akong pumasok bukas?

I opened Messenger. Umingos ako nang puro chat ng mga babae ang bumungad sa akin. Since I changed my status to single, biglang dumami yung mga “concerned” friends. They think I’m heartbroken and need comforting.

I smirked. Well, I do need comfort.

I hopped over to Facebook to scroll through my feed, but Vince’s new profile picture was the first thing I saw. Eleven hours ago. Looks like he was at Shangri-La.

I shook my head, tellng myself I wasn’t stalking as I clicked on her profile. His cover photo was a shot of him from behind, sitting by the pool. His hair was up in a messy bun, exposing his back. He was wearing a black string bikini that made his fair skin pop. His shoulders were a bit flushed from the sun, but you could see how small his waist was—and that line down his spine? Depinadong-depinado.

Who took the picture? Ang pangit ng angle.

I scrolled through his photos. Everything was aesthetically pleasing. Honestly? Maganda siya. Sexy. If I didn’t know who he was—or what he used to be—I probably would’ve made a move already. Just like my friends who apparently have no standards. Pati bading pinapatulan, basta mukhang babae. Tss.

I absentmindedly unfriended her. Or him. Whatever. Sigurado naman akong hindi niya mapapansin ’yon. Isa pa, hindi naman ako ang nag-add sa kanya kundi yung gagong si Jededaiah.

Magulo at maingay agad ang room sa unang araw ng klase habang hinihintay ang teacher. Panay ang hikab ko; puyat na naman ako kalaro ng online games kagabi. Not the typical STEM section—kami na naman ang worst section nito, panigurado.

And as usual, sa dulo kami nina Dominic umupo. Every school year, teritoryo na namin ang pinakalikod ng room.

“Kaklase natin si Vanessa,” imporma ni Jededaiah pagkabalik galing sa listahan ng students na nakapaskil sa board.

“Talaga?” ani Dominic.

I just yawned again, pretending not to care.

“Hala? I want to be friends with her!” Khaye said giddily.

Kumunot ang noo ko at pinasadahan ng tingin ang mga kaklase namin. I didn’t see him yet. Puno ng mga bagong mukha yung room, but I didn’t give a single damn. Sa una lang naman sila tahimik at mahiyain; pagkalipas ng isang linggo, mas walang hiya pa sa amin ang mga ’yan.

“My goodness! Class! Umayos nga kayo! Ang aga-aga, ang gulo-gulo niyo!” Biglang bumukas ang pinto at pumasok si Ma’am Estiler. Nagsitahimik ang lahat.

Umayos kami ng upo habang pinapanood si Ma’am na padabog na lumakad sa table niya. Padarag niyang ibinagsak ang bag niya bago kami hinarap.

“Jusko! Hindi na kayo nahiya! Mag-si-akto nga kayo sa edad niyo! Rinig na rinig ko ang kaingayan niyo sa dulo ng building na ito!”

“Si Ma’am naman, ang aga-aga ang init agad ng ulo!” hirit ni Dominic.

Mataray na tumaas ang kilay ni Ma’am sa kanya. “May sinasabi ka, Mr. Borromeo?”

“Wala, Ma’am! Ang sabi ko po, mas gumaganda kayo!” banat ni Dominic.

Naghiyawan ang mga kaklase ko, pati ’yung mga transferee naki-join na rin. Umirap si Ma’am pero hindi napigilang mapangiti.

“Alam ko!”

Mas lalong lumakas ang hiyawan kaya natawa na rin ang guro. Nakisabay ako sa ingay at malakas pang pumalakpak. Pero ang kasiyahan namin ay biglang naputol nang bumukas ulit ang pinto.

Hinihingal siya at medyo namumutla nang makita ang teacher.

It was Vince…

“G-Good morning po! A-Am I late?” he asked, swallowing hard.

He didn’t look nervous; he just looked like he ran a marathon just to make it on time. Late naman talaga siya, itatanong pa. Is he stupid or what?

Gusto kong matawa nang makita kong naka-uniporme siya ng babae. Wow. So the school actually allows him to wear the female uniform? Baka binago na nga ’yung birth certificate niya.

Pinasadahan ko siya ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa. Halatang hindi pa sinusuklayan ang buhok at medyo gusot ’yung blouse, mukhang hindi man lang na-plantsa. Tamad na nakasabit sa kaliwang balikat niya ’yung bag niya.

“You’re just in time, Miss,” Ma’am Estiler gestured for him to enter. He sighed in relief and nodded. Pumasok siya sa room with that same sensual smile plastered on his lips as he looked for a vacant seat.

My forehead creased. Bakit ba ganyan siya ngumiti?

There was something about how he carried herself. Noon pa man, mataas na talaga ang kumpyansa niya sa sarili, and he hasn’t changed at all. He’s still as charismatic as ever.

Umiwas agad ako ng tingin nang biglang bumulong si Jededaiah sa tabi ko. Binalingan ko siya at sinamaan ng tingin.

“Chinat mo ba siya kagabi?”

Gigil ko siyang kinutosan habang pinag-igting ang bagang. Tanginang ’to! Kakantyawan na naman ako. Bakit ba kasi… bumalik pa siya rito sa school? Bwiset…

“Hindi. So shut your fucking mouth…” matigas kong mura sa kanya.

“Daddy Tyler, chill! Baka mamaya ikaw na ang may crush sa kaniya?” Nahimigan ko ang pang-aasar sa tono niya habang hinahaplos ang kanyang buhok na nagulo dahil sa ginawa kong pag-kutos.

Dumiin ang pagkakalapat ng mga labi ko. The hell?!

“Ayaw pa kasing aminin na nagagandahan siya kay Vanessa, eh,” Dominic added, playfully wiggling his brows at me. Jededaiah just chuckled lowly.

“Oh? Maganda nga siya, may bayag naman,” ingos ko bago umirap. Natawa lang ang mga gago.

“Ang sama mo! Baka naman nagpa-surgery na siya, ’no!”

“Anong pinag-uusapan niyo?” kuryusong tanong ni Reizza, trying to poke her nose into our business.

“Wala! Napaka-marites mo namern!” tawa ni Dominic. Sinimangutan siya ni Reizza at inis na hinampas ang mukha niya.

I ignored their bickering. My eyes drifted back to Vince. He swept his long, dark hair over to his right shoulder before turning to the guy next to him, Rhyzen. He gave him this look—a smile so magnetic it was almost preying.

He offered his hand for a handshake, and Rhyzen looked like a deer in headlights.

Unti-unting tumalim ang mga mata ko habang pinagmamasdan ko silang dalawa. Akala ko ba may boyfriend siya? Bakit lumalandi na agad?

I pursed my lips tightly as I watched him tilt his head, laughing at whatever Rhyzen was saying. He was doing it again—that sensual, effortless charm.

Tangina…

Iiwas na sana ako ng tingin nang bigla siyang lumingon. Our eyes locked. I saw a flicker of surprise in his gaze, but it vanished instantly, replaced by a friendly smile. I kept an eye on him—on the way his lips moved while she spoke to Rhyzen. That flirty, seductive expression never left his face, even while he was looking at me.

What the fuck is he doing?!

The bell rang, and class officially started.

Kung nakakamatay lang ang titig, kanina pa nakabulagta sa sahig si Vince. Tangina. I couldn’t stand the way he looked at me earlier. Bigla akong… nandiri.

Even back then, I felt that same discomfort. I don’t get any satisfaction from being linked to him. Not again. Not. Again!

Ano bang iniisip niya? Na maaakit ako ngayon dahil mukha na siyang babae? Na dahil babaeng-babae na siya at iba na ang anyo niya, bibigay na ako?

Please. Spare me.

I respect gay people, I really do. Pero kung iniisip niyang papatulan ko siya, nagkakamali siya. The way he looks at me—it’s like he’s convinced I’m the type of guy who goes for people like him. But hell no. I’m straight.

Kumuyom ang mga kamao ko nang bigla siyang tumayo. That’s when it hit me—it was time for introductions. I took a deep breath and shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Fuck…

“Hi, I am Vince Castillo.”

Isang malakas na singhap ang namayani sa buong room. Everyone looked like they had just seen a ghost.

“Wait… wait!” Ma’am Estiler looked completely lost. She turned back to her computer screen, her forehead creasing in deep confusion.

“Vanessa ang registered name mo rito, hija.”

My lips twisted into a cynical smirk. Yeah, right. He must’ve had his birth certificate legally changed—name, gender, everything. His parents probably pulled some major strings to get that done, especially since that’s a legal headache here in the Philippines.

“Opo… uh, hindi pa po ako tapos.” he chuckled before clearing his throat. “Trans po ako. I just want everyone to know that I am a proud trans woman,” he uttered, his voice sweet and unapologetically open.

Muling suminghap ang mga kaklase namin—some in shock, others in pure amazement.

“Alam namin!” Jededaiah shouted, even letting out a sharp whistle. Vanessa turned to him, looking amused.

“Ang ganda mo na, Vince! I mean, Vanessa! Grabe!” Dominic added, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Mr. Borromeo, Mr. Ponce,” Ma’am Estiler interjected, trying to regain control. “Please continue, Ms. Rillera.”

“Eh, Ma’am! Kilala po namin ’yan si Vanessa! Dito po siya nag-elementary!” hirit pa ni Jededaiah.

“Ang ganda talaga niya…” Reizza whispered, leaning her chin on her hand as she stared at Vanessa in wonder.

“Bakit, babe? Kinakabahan ka ba kasi baka mas maganda siya sa’yo?” Jededaiah teased his girlfriend, earning him a shove to the face.

Bumusangot si Jededaiah. “Kanina pa kayo, ha?”

The second subject was just as tedious—more introductions and teachers discussing the syllabus for the entire year. It was a repetitive cycle of what to expect for the first and second semesters. Tss…

By the time Sir Alina left the room, my stomach was already growling. I stretched my arms and groaned, feeling the hunger kick in.

Tangina. Why is recess only thirty minutes? With the sheer number of students in the canteen, you’d spend the entire break just standing in line.

“Tara na sa canteen, gutom na ako,” anyaya ko sa mga kaibigan ko.

But instead of getting up, they were all glued to their seats, watching Vanessa. He was already surrounded by our classmates—mostly the guys from the basketball team. I grimaced.

He was entertaining them with that same practiced charm, acting like a total social butterfly.

Feeling close agad…

“Anong Facebook at Instagram mo?” tanong ni Jayson.

“Vanessa Castillo. Naka-link na sa Facebook ko ’yung Instagram ko,” he answered, his voice smooth.

Yeah, right. Ganyan nga. Ganyan ang may boyfriend. Pero seryoso ba talaga sa kanya yung lalaking ’yun? Tss.

If he’s dating him, that guy is no longer straight. In my head, gay na rin siya. He’s dating a guy with a woman’s heart. Have they even done it? The thought alone is nasty. Gay people are prone to STDs and shit—I don’t even want to imagine it.

Inilabas ni Jayson ang phone niya at inilahad iyon kay Vince. “Ikaw na ang mag-type, baka mali pa yung itipa ko, eh,” he laughed. Vince just nodded and gave him that same sensual smile. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear as he maneuvered Jayson’s phone with ease.

“Ayan,” he said, handing it back.

“Tara na,” anyaya ko ulit sa mga kaibigan ko. My patience was wearing thin.

“Vanessa! Sabay ka na sa amin?” biglang tanong ni Jededaiah.

I almost slapped the back of his head. Tanginang ’to. Aayain pa talagang sumabay sa amin? And why the hell are my friends acting like they’re BFFs with her all of a sudden?

Vince turned to Jededaiah before his eyes drifted to me. His lips parted in wonder nang makita niya kung gaano ko siya tiningnan nang masama. I gave him my most menacing, threatening look. He quickly glanced back at my friend and shook his head respectfully.

“Hindi na, Jed. I brought my own snack…”

“Ano ka? Bata?” pang-aasar ni Dominic. Vanessa just pouted playfully.

“Iwas gastos lang,” he chuckled, giving my friends one last smile before looking away.

“Huy, Dom! Pilitin mong sumama sa atin! I want to get to know her!” pangungulit ni Khaye kay Dominic.

Iritasyon. ’Yun lang ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Tangina. Bakit ba pabor na pabor sila kay Vince? What’s so special about him? I don’t see anything striking or interesting. If they want to be friends with him, fine—but don’t even think about bringing him into our circle. I won’t let that happen!

Sumulyap ako kay Vince. He was eating a Lemon Square cupcake, and there were crumbs on the corner of his lips while he talked to Rhyzen—who was eating the same cupcake. Mukhang binigyan niya si Rhyzen.

Dinig na dinig ko ang usapan nilang dalawa dahil hindi naman sila ganoon kalayo sa pwesto ko. Hindi ko naman sinasadyang makinig, sadyang maingay lang sila.

“Hanggang grade six lang ako rito sa OLFU. Sa FEU ako nag-junior high,” he said.

“Why did you come back here?” usisa ni Rhyzen sa kanya.

“Hmm, mas malapit kasi ito sa village namin. And besides, malapit lang ang school ng boyfriend ko rito,” he explained.

My brows shot up. So that’s the reason? Bumalik siya rito dahil lang malapit ang school ng boyfriend niya? Fuck that.

And why does he feel the need to broadcast that? He should just keep those things to himself. Wala namang interesado sa love life niya. Tss.

Dumaan ang gulat sa mga mata ni Rhyzen. “You have a… boyfriend?”

Natigilan si Vince for a split second, pero agad din siyang nakabawi. He grinned and nodded, his eyes doing that seductive, magnetic thing again. Tangina. Bakit ba ganyan siya kung makatingin? Parang bawat tingin niya, may ibig sabihin.

“Yup! Mag-one year na kami.”

“Mas matanda sa’yo ang boyfriend mo, ’di ba?” biglang sabat ni Jededaiah sa usapan nila.

Parang pumutok ang ugat sa utak ko. Jededaiah, you nosy fuck. Even my friends were more updated on her life than I was, and it was starting to get on my nerves.

“I like men who are older than me,” he answered, biting his lower lip.

That was the last straw. Without a word, I shoved my chair back and stood up. I didn’t even look back at my friends, even though I could hear them calling out my name as I stormed out of the room.

“Tyler! Huy, saan ka pupunta?!”

I didn’t answer. I’m starving, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit there and listen to him talk about his preferences for one more second. If they want to stay and be fanboys, fine. Bahala na sila riyan.

Tangina. My stomach was knotting from hunger—or maybe it was just the sheer irritation of everything. Either way, I needed to get the hell out of that room.

Chapter 2

“Ang hottie at guwapo naman pala ng boyfriend ni Vanessa!” Kharylle giggled like a pig while she kept her eyes glued on them.

Vince looked a bit reluctant as she hopped into the shiny sports car. His boyfriend had opened the door for him with this lazy, nonchalant vibe. Honestly, he didn’t even look that happy when the car pulled up in front of him.

Paliko na kami patungo sa parking ground ng school nang matanaw namin siya. He was just standing there, waiting. We saw the two of them talk for a bit—mukhang nagtatalo sila o ewan in a calm way—before he finally sat in the passenger seat of that jerk’s car.

Mukhang ugok. Sure, he was a bit bulkier than me, but I was easily the better-looking one. Tangina. He even looked a bit feminine to me. Well, confirmed na talaga sa utak ko na gay ang gago. No straight man would be in a serious relationship with a trans woman for an entire year. One fucking year? Hell, he’s probably cheating on him with other girls behind his back.

Tangina. Just imagining what they do whenever they’re alone in a room makes me sick. Wait—why am I even thinking about their sex life anyway?

I shrugged the thought off. Damn, Tyler. Get a grip. Hindi mo kailangang i-imagine kung anong ginagawa nila. Gross…

Reizza and Khaye started squealing like chipmunks when the guy did that door-opening stunt. Tss… kinikilig na sila n’un? He just opened a door. That’s the bare minimum of what a boyfriend should do. Anong nakakakilig d’un?

“Ang sweet nila! Walang panama kotse ng mga boyfriend natin, Khaye! Kainggit naman,” Reizza teased.

Jededaiah frowned at his girlfriend’s remark, while Dominic just scoffed, though he looked like he agreed.

“Huwag kayong mag-alala, we’ll have a sports car someday!” Dominic laughed, and Kharylle giggled, clinging to his arm.

The guy walked toward the driver’s seat with a grim expression. He didn’t look like he was having a good day either.

“Ilang taon na kaya ang boyfriend niya?”

“Probably 21? Engineer stud sa La Salle,” Reizza answered confidently.

Engineer? Tangina. Ayaw ko na palang mag-Engineering…

Kumunot ang noo ni Khaye kay Reizza. “How did you know his course?”

“I have a cousin who’s an Engineering student in La Salle, duh!” Reizza rolled her eyes before dragging us along, saying she didn’t want to go home yet.

We ended up at the mall, eating Jollibee before wandering around aimlessly. Inaantok na ako. Gusto ko nang umuwi. Puta, naging third wheel pa ako sa dalawang pares ng mag-syota na ’to.

“Wait! Hindi ba si Vanessa ’yun?” Khaye pointed inside a clothing shop we were passing. We all came to a halt.

We turned our heads to the shop window. I nonchalantly yawned, instantly looking away when I saw that she was right—nasa loob nga ng shop si Vince, browsing through the racks.

“Sinong kasama niya? Parang solo lang siya,” Dominic noted.

“Tara, tingin tayo sa loob!” anyaya ni Reizza.

My forehead creased. What the? Hell no, this shop isn’t even my style. But I followed them anyway, too lazy to voice my disapproval. Vince didn’t notice us yet; he looked peaceful, checking the price tag of a sundress he was holding.

“Hi, Vane!” Jededaiah enthusiastically greeted her the moment we approached. Vince was holding the dress in his small hands—I noticed his nails were clean and well-kept.

He looked up at my friends and gave them a friendly smile. I expected her to jump in surprise, but she didn’t. Tss. No signs of shock or shyness. He just had that same look on his face. Tangina. May mga girlfriend yung mga kaibigan ko tapos ganyan siya makatingin?

“Oh? Hello, Jed!” he greeted back, her voice sweet and a smile etched on his plump, pink lips. He was still in his school uniform, just like us.

I was expecting him to look at me… or at least notice I was standing there. But he didn’t even bother giving me a quick glance. I scoffed lowly. Good. I didn’t want him looking my way anyway. I still felt uncomfortable around him—actually, it’s worse now…

“Who are you with pala? Boyfriend?” Dominic asked. I folded my arms and let my eyes wander around the shop before facing them again. I wasn’t looking for his boyfriend; naghahanap lang ako ng ibang babae.

He shook his head slightly. “Kuya ko. Nasa fitting room siya.”

“Ah, si Kuya Kaiden?”

Damn. Even his siblings? Gaano ba nila naging ka-close si Vince nang hindi ko nalalaman?

“Si Kuya Vermont,” he corrected.

Kharylle and the others started chatting with her while browsing the dresses. I yawned again, rubbing my eyes and craning my neck. Puta. Ngayon ko lang napansin na iniwan na ako ng mga kaibigan ko sa isang tabi, malapit kina Reizza at kay… Vince.

“Uy, Tyler!” a familiar voice called out. I turned to see a girl I recognized from school. She wasn’t alone, so I gave her my best charming smile. I couldn’t remember her name, but she was hard to miss.

“Wassup,” I greeted coolly.

She and her friends approached me. In my peripheral vision, I saw Khaye and Vanessa look up.

“I heard you and Avi broke up,” she pouted, her red lips forming a worried expression. I rubbed the side of my neck and nodded. These girls were older than me—nursing students, batchmates of my older sister.

“Yeah. Things didn’t work out,” I shrugged, shifting my gaze to her friends. They were all mad pretty. Ang hirap pumili…

“Really? Sayang naman. You two looked so good together,” she said, sounding genuinely sad. I never got why our breakup was such a big deal. People at school kept saying we were the “it” couple because we both came from influential families. Handsome and pretty. Perfect match. Whatever.

“Uh, mauna na ako. See you guys at school tomorrow!” I heard Vince say. I glanced over as he pointed toward the counter. A guy was standing there, looking back at us. I assumed that was the brother.

I didn’t see any resemblance. At all.

“Kuya mo?” Reizza asked. Vince nodded.

“Ang guwapo naman ng Kuya mo! Ilang taon na? Ilan kayong magkakapatid?”

“He’s 23. Tatlo kami. I’m the youngest,” he answered.

“Bunso ka pala!”

“Yup.”

“You two don’t look like siblings, though,” Kharylle remarked. Vince let out a soft, melodic laugh.

“Hmm. Kamukha niya kasi si Papa. Ako naman, kamukha ni Mama,” he explained. O baka naman anak siya sa labas kaya hindi sila magkamukha? Tss.

“Oh my gosh, same! Hindi ko rin kamukha Kuya ko, kaya minsan napagkakamalan kaming mag-jowa!” Reizza giggled. Vince’s smile widened.

“Kami rin! Kadiri, ’no?”

“Sobra! Ew!” Reizza rolled her eyes.

Vince glanced at me for a split second, but he looked away so fast it was like I didn’t even exist to him. My forehead creased. What was that? Crush pa rin ba ako nito kaya hindi siya makatingin nang matagal?

Huwag niyang sabihing oo, dahil talaga namang kokomprontahin ko na siya na tigil-tigilan ako.

He brushed his bangs aside and gave Khaye a sweet smile. His hair was long and incredibly black—dainty strands swaying against her face. It looked like shiny, molten silk flowing over his small shoulders and cascading down to his waist.

Pinagmasdan ko ang kaniyang mukha.

He had a small mole dotted just above his plump lips. His eyes were wide, framed by long, natural lashes—feline-like, as if they were luring you into a temptation you couldn’t resist. His light brown orbs were bright and expressive, reflecting a glow that was almost ethereal, as if they held their own inner luminosity.

His slim, upturned nose made her look… cute. I guess? He even had a long, graceful neck.

I admit, maganda naman talaga siya. He really looks like a woman now. Pumasok sa isip ko ang hitsura niya noong elementary pa lang kami—hindi naman masiyadong nagbago ang mukha niya. Tumangkad lang siya at mas pumuti ang kutis. As for his body? Well, he must have done something to achieve that feminine physique.

Balingkinitan ang katawan niya; maliit ang baywang, may balakang, at may kalakihan ang puwet. Kaso, wala siyang dibdib—maliit lang.

But it’s more than just the physical. He displays this sense of self-respect and etiquette that’s obvious in the way he talks and moves. Even with those sharp, antagonist facial features, he effortlessly captivates everyone around him.

Looks can be really deceiving. His charm, his confidence, and the way he carries himself make him stand out. I don’t know his real personality yet, but I can tell he has a friendly and sociable surface. His charisma instantly makes others feel at ease, making them gravitate toward him without even trying.

Muling nagpaalam si Vince bago tinalikuran sina Reizza. Hindi ko napigilang sundan siya ng tingin hanggang sa makarating siya sa counter, tumayo sa tabi ng kapatid niyang nagbabayad.

I forced myself to focus back on the girls talking to me. I entertained their questions, even pulling some stunts to make it look like I was brokenhearted. Who knows? Baka mamaya may maging girlfriend ako sa grupo nila. I smirked inwardly.

A week after school started, Ma’am Estiler decided she’d had enough of our chaos. She overhauled the seating arrangement, and we were all lined up at the side of the room, waiting for our surnames to be called. Lintik. I hated this. Ginagawa kaming mga bata.

The chairs were divided into two columns.

“Castillo. Sy.” Ma’am called out our names firmly, gesturing toward our new spot.

Bigla akong nabingi. It felt like the blood in my veins turned to ice—not out of excitement, but pure dread. Fuck…

Vince walked gracefully toward our shared desk. She placed his bag down and settled in, looking completely unbothered. It was like he didn’t mind at all that we were going to be seatmates for the rest of the semester.

My jaw clenched. I was tempted to complain, but I bit my tongue. It would look weird if I was the only one making a scene about the new arrangement.

I glanced at my friends, expecting them to tease me, but they were busy chatting with their own seatmates. No one was even looking my way.

Kanina pa nila pinag-uusapan na single na raw ulit si Vanessa—na nakipaghiwalay na siya sa boyfriend niyang taga-La Salle. He didn’t even look sad or hurt. Not that I cared about his feelings, of course. I just wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.

But why am I even making this a big deal? Tss.

I reluctantly ambled toward the seat. I dropped my bag and sat down without giving her a single glance. Subtly, I nudged my chair a few inches away from him, trying to create some distance.

Vince turned his head. He definitely noticed the move, but he didn’t say a word. He just let me be.

Sa gilid ng mga mata ko, nakita kong bahagyang umangat ang sulok ng labi niya habang taas-noong nakaharap sa klase.

He must have sensed it…

Ramdam niya sigurong hindi ako komportable sa kaniya dahil sa mga kinikilos ko. Dapat lang. I don’t want rumors spreading around the campus that I’m being linked to a trans woman. I have a reputation to protect.

As usual, ako na naman ang binotong Escort ng mga epal kong kaklase. Kada taon na lang, tangina. Nakakasawa na, pero hinayaan ko na lang at hindi na nag-reklamo. It wasn’t worth the energy.

“Class! Shhh! Just because you kids are already in Grade 12 doesn’t mean you won’t participate in the school’s activities!” suway sa amin ni Ma’am Estiler.

We were all floored. Participation in school events? Now? “United Nations iyon kaya hindi tayo pwedeng hindi mag-participate!” dagdag pa niya.

The room erupted in groans of disapproval. The fuck?! How about the batch last year? Bakit sila exempted?

“’Wag na lang, Ma’am!”

“Ang daya! Bakit yung batch last year hindi naman pinasali sa UN?!”

Halos lahat kami ay nagrereklamo. It felt like a personal attack. Why do we have to deal with this extra weight when the previous seniors didn’t?

Bumuntong-hininga si Ma’am Estiler, trying to calm the storm. “Look, the head teachers talked about this. They want all Senior High students to participate this time. Last year, they excluded the Grade 12s because they were graduating—ayaw nilang dagdagan ang stress niyo para makapag-focus kayo sa acads.”

She paused, looking at us with a bit of sympathy. “But a lot of students from last year were actually sad about it. Nag-sisi sila na natuwa sila nung una. They realized too late that it was their last year in Senior High, yet they missed out on the events that make school life memorable. They felt left out.”

Natahimik ang lahat sa sinabi ni Ma’am. Suddenly, she had a point. It made sense, to be honest. No wonder the graduates last year were so grumpy during their ceremony; they missed out on the best part of being a senior.

Doon na nagsimulang magbago ang ihip ng hangin sa loob ng room.

“Ayaw ko namang mag-aral lang buong year!”

“True! Mas nakaka-stress kaya kapag puro acads lang ang inaasikaso!”

“Sige, Ma’am! Ako na agad ang Muse!” Farah shouted, raising her hand.

Agad siyang inasar ng mga kaklase namin kaya napasimangot siya. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Naku! ’Wag na! Ang shongit mo, teh!” hirit ng isa naming baklang kaklase.

“Sergeant-at-arms, pwede ka pa, Farah.”

“What? Ang ganda ko kaya! Bagay ako maging Muse!” she snapped, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes in irritation.

Jayson then raised his hand. “Ma’am, si Vanessa na lang po ang Muse natin. Walang tatalo sa ganda niya—mapapatulala ka na lang talaga!”

The class erupted in a chorus of ‘Yiee’!

I almost choked on my own saliva. No. No way. Tangina. ’Wag na lang! Magba-back out na ako bilang Escort kung siya ang magiging Muse. Besides, it wouldn’t be right. Even if he’s trans, it would be unfair to the biological girls in the competition, right?

I turned to look at him, my gaze sharp. I saw how his cheeks flushed deep red before he started shaking his head. His friends kept teasing him, making him look even more awkward as he forced a shy smile.

Bakit siya nagba-blush? Gusto niya rin? Puta.

“Ay, true!” Jubilyn added. “Pang-Miss Universe pa ang katawan!”

My face contorted in disgust at the nonsense they were spouting. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

“Hindi naman siya matangkad, ah? Paano naging Miss Universe ang katawan niyan?” I mocked, letting out a dry laugh. I couldn’t stop myself. My comment hit a nerve, and the room suddenly went quiet as everyone turned to look at me.

Vince turned to me, too. For a second, he looked relieved—like I had just pulled a thorn out of his throat.

Our eyes locked.

He chuckled awkwardly. “H-He’s right. At… hindi dapat ako ang Muse. I’m not a biological girl. Baka hindi maging patas sa iba—”

Ma’am Estiler cut her off. “Ms. Castillo, please don’t say that. You are a girl, and you are more than qualified to be the Muse of this section!”

More than qualified? Anong ibig sabihin nun? Paano siya naging qualified?

“Kaya nga!” Shaun, the gay guy in our class, added with a dramatic sigh. “Hindi keri ng hormones ko ang ganda mo, teh!” he fanned himself, making everyone laugh.

Vince swallowed hard before averting his eyes from mine.

“May mas deserving pa naman po kaysa sa akin, Ma’am—”

“I nominate Vanessa Castillo for Muse.” Rhyzen raised his hand, cutting her off. He smiled at her, and her eyes widened as she mouthed: ‘What are you doing?’

Then Farah and Jubilyn joined in. “We nominate Vanessa Rillera as Muse!” they giggled in excitement.

Nalaglag ang panga ko. Tang…ina…

“Oo nga! Ikaw na lang ang Muse, Vanessa!”

“You got this, girl! Dalagang Pilipina ang datingan mo!”

“Vanessa for Muse!” Reizza clapped her hands.

Kharylle laughed. “We vote Vanessa Castillo as our Muse!”

My eardrums were practically vibrating. They kept chanting his damn name. Everyone was rooting for him. And there he was—bright red and acting all shy. Akala ko ba wala siyang kahihiyan sa katawan? What was this act? He kept swallowing hard and shaking his head, looking genuinely embarrassed.

“Go, Vanessa!” Dominic whistled loudly.

“Then it’s settled? Vanessa will be our Muse and our candidate for the United Nations parade?” Ma’am Estiler asked with a satisfied smile.

He took a deep breath before slowly, reluctantly, nodding his head. The room exploded in cheers. Everyone was celebrating except me…

“Huy, hindi ka ba talaga makakasama later sa audition for dance club?” Farah asked her later as class ended. Vince was neatly organizing her things. Even his handwriting was clean and slightly artistic.

Dance club? Marunong siyang sumayaw?

He looked up at her and shook his head. “I can’t today. I’m meeting some friends from FEU.” he gave an apologetic look. Farah pouted but eventually nodded.

“Bukas na lang tayo mag-audition. I promise,” he added, squeezing his friend’s hand reassuringly.

So, hindi siya magba-back out? Gusto niya sigurong maging partner ko! I remembered how he had a crush on me back in elementary. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was all a plan for him to get close to me—especially now that he’s done with that arrogant boyfriend and his sports car. Tss.

Iniligpit ko na rin ang gamit ko nang may kasamang dabog. Habang ang lahat ay excited sa nalalapit na United Nations, ako naman ay parang pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa.

“Bro, congrats! Muse mo si Vanessa!” tinapik ako ni Jededaiah sa balikat habang papalabas kami ng pinto. “Siguradong panalo ang section natin. Visuals pa lang ninyong dalawa, uwi na ang ibang level.”

I slapped his hand away. “Visuals mo mukha mo. Mag-back out ako, tingnan niyo…”

“Sus! Kunwari ka pa,” asar naman ni Dominic habang nakasunod sa amin.

“Aminin mo na, Tyler. Nagagandahan ka rin sa kaniya. Sino bang hindi?”

I didn’t answer. I just walked faster.

Habang naglalakad sa hallway, hindi ko maiwasang isipin ’yung sinabi ni Vince. Friends from FEU. Sino naman ang mga ’yon? At bakit kailangan niyang makipag-kita agad? Hindi kaya doon din galing ’yung ex-boyfriend niyang mukhang paa na may sports car?

Bigla akong napatigil sa paglalakad nang makita ko siya sa ’di-kalayuan, malapit sa gate. He was standing there, looking at his phone.

The afternoon sun hit his skin, making him look like he was glowing. His long, black hair was slightly tossed by the wind. He looked… elegant. Bwisit. Bakit ko ba napapansin ’to?!

Chapter 3

“She’s gotten popular with college students these days, huh?” Dominic noted while eyeing Vanessa.

He was currently lining up with some students from the Architecture department. Lunch break namin ngayon, at dapat sana ay masaya na ako dahil sa wakas, nag-back out si Vince sa pagiging Muse. Ibinalita ’yun ni Ma’am Estiler kaninang umaga, though she didn’t specify the reason why. At least, wala na akong proproblemahin.

“Mga kaibigan ’yan ng kapatid niya, no doubt that they’re close,” Jededaiah laughed.

“Bagay sila nung naka-akbay sa kanya,” kinikilig na sabi ni Khaye.

Tss. When will she stop match-making people around her? Masyadong nerd ’tong girlfriend ni Dominic na hindi na nakakatuwa minsan.

Wala akong nagawa kundi tanawin si Vince na nakikitawa sa mga lalakeng kasama niya sa pila. My lips twisted in a grimace. Kitang-kita ko kung paano bumulong yung lalaking naka-akbay sa tainga niya. Vince’s shoulders shook as he laughed, nodding along to whatever the guy was whispering.

Ang landi…

Parang hindi siya takot ma-issue, ah? Kung makadikit siya sa mga lalakeng ’yan, parang tuko. Tss.

“She’s also popular with the girls! Have you seen her dance? Grabe, napanood ko ’yung audition niya sa dance club—ang galing niya mag-hip hop,” Reizza added.

My nose scrunched as I shook my head. Why do I keep hearing people compliment him? Ano bang special sa kanya?

“Bakit busangot na naman ang mukha mo riyan, Gregory?” I caught the teasing tone in Jededaiah’s voice kaya tumalim ang tingin ko sa kaniya. He just smiled cockily at me.

“Hindi na kasi niya partner si Vane—”

“Shut the fuck up. That’s not it.” I massaged the bridge of my nose. Ayan na naman sila sa pang-aasar nila! Damn…

“Then what is it? Napapansin ko kasi, hindi kayo nag-uusap kahit seatmates kayo. Nahihiya ka ba?”

I gritted my teeth. “Bakit naman kami mag-uusap?”

“Dahil seatmate kayo?” litong balik-tanong ni Dominic.

Jededaiah tilted his head. “You even unfriended her on Facebook—”

“You were the one who added him—”

“Her,” Khaye corrected me instantly.

“Do you hate her?” Reizza asked point-blank.

I felt my nostrils flare. Bakit ba ako ang ini-interrogate ng mga ’to? At bakit ba siya na lang lagi ang topic namin? Tangina naman…

“Why would I hate hi—her?” I let out a dry, forced laugh. Sa itsura pa lang ni Khaye, alam kong itatama na naman niya ako kapag tinawag kong ‘him’ si Vince. Tss.

Jededaiah shrugged. “Well, it seems like you hate her presence. Nalulukot ang mukha mo kapag pinag-uusapan natin siya, like you’re constantly annoyed.”

Dominic raised an eyebrow. “Seriously, Tyler? Do you really think she’s pa rin still crushing on you? We were kids back then. Just because people made fun of you before because she liked you, it doesn’t mean—”

I raised both hands in surrender. What the hell?! Bakit ba sineseryoso nila ’to?!

“Ano? Homophobic na naman ako?”

“Hindi ba? You call her by her deadname, and you keep misgendering her,” Khaye said, rolling her eyes.

I winced. What about it? Sa akin, si Vince pa rin siya. So what if I still see him as a boy? Masama na ba iyon?

“Sa bagay, ikaw ba naman asarin dahil lang may nagkakagusto sa iyong bading… talagang mapipikon ka,” sarkastikong sabi ni Jededaiah. I laughed, but it felt bitter. Binibisto talaga ako ng gago.

“Alright, look. Hindi lang ako kumportable na katabi ko siya. But I don’t hate her. At kilala niyo naman ako—I don’t talk unless people strike a conversation first. Tsaka tahimik naman siya,” I said truthfully.

Sa totoo lang, hindi niya talaga ako kinikibo. Never siyang nag-attempt na kausapin ako. Not that I’m looking for it—mas ayos nga na tahimik siya. Every time I remember how he used to chase me around and crave my attention back then, naiinis ako. Naaalala ko lang kung gaano ako ka-target ng asaran noon dahil sa kanya.

Hindi ako bading. Tangina. Kung hindi lang mahaba ang pasensya ko noon, baka binugbog ko na silang lahat sa pangangantiyaw nila sa aming dalawa.

Pagbalik namin sa room, nadatnan naming bine-braid ni Meili ang mahabang buhok ni Vanessa. Tangina naman. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako sanay na Vanessa ang tawag sa kanya ng lahat. For me, he’s still Vince.

“Patapos na ako, Tyler,” sabi ni Meili nang makita ako. Naka-upo kasi siya sa upuan ko. Tumango lang ako at sumunod na lang kina Dominic sa likod. Doon muna ako sa grupo ng mga lalaki na nagkukumpulan sa mini stage.

The wall at the front of this room can be folded, kaya minsan ay rito rin ginaganap ang mga teachers’ conference.

“Bakit ka pala nag-back out sa pagiging Muse, Vane?” narinig kong tanong ng isa naming kaklase.

“Ah, mahirap kasi ipagsabay lalo na’t member na ako ng dance club,” sagot ni Vince.

Iyon lang ang rason niya? Well, deep inside, gusto ko naman talagang mag-back out siya. Mabuti na rin ’yon dahil hindi ko siguro seseryosohin ang pagiging Escort kung siya ang ka-partner ko.

“Oh! You have a point. Masyado nang hectic ’yun.”

Vince giggled heartily. “And besides, mas bagay si Ferine na Muse, ’di ba? She was the Muse last year. I heard she’s been joining beauty pageants and winning crowns outside of school. Baka mamaya, matalo lang ang section natin sa Q&A kapag ako ang isinabak.”

I muttered a low curse when the ink of my pen ran out in the middle of taking notes. Fuck!

Tangina, wala akong extra sa bag. Inaalagaan ko na nga lang ’tong kaisa-isang ballpen ko. Iritado kong iginuhit ang dulo sa susunod na pahina, pero wala na talaga. Binubura pa naman agad ni Sir Garcia ang board.

“Bakit ngayon pa…” inis kong bulong sa sarili.

“Here.”

Napako ang tingin ko sa isang ballpen na nakalahad sa harap ko. I froze. My forehead creased as I stared at his hand—it looked porcelain-smooth. Mula sa kanyang maliit na kamay, nag-angat ako ng tingin at nagtama ang mga mata naming dalawa.

He gave me a sensual, knowing smile. “You—”

Hindi ko na siya pinatapos. Agad akong tumayo at pinuntahan si Jededaiah para humiram ng ballpen. Pinahiram naman ako agad kaya nakahinga ako nang maluwag. Damn. Akala ko wala siyang extra. Kinabahan ako doon, ah.

Paglingon ko sa upuan ko, nakatuon na ang atensyon ni Vince sa board sa harap. Tuloy lang siya sa pagkopya. He didn’t look offended at all by what I did, but he didn’t bother glancing back at me when I returned to my seat. I pursed my lips. Alam kong rude ang ginawa ko, pero the last thing I wanted right now was to owe him anything.

Nasa bahay na ako at naglalaro ng online games nang sunod-sunod na mag-vibrate ang phone ko. It was a notification from Messenger. Kumunot ang noo ko. Pinindot ko ang app. Lintek. Gumawa na pala sila ng GC para sa section namin—’yung version na walang teacher.

Ang ingay nila. Naistorbo tuloy ang laro ko…

I was about to mute the group chat, but before I could, I saw Jayson mention Vanessa.

Jayson Tuazon: Accept mo naman friend request ko @Vanessa Castillo! Hahahaha. Inaamag na, eh.

Vanessa Castillo: Hahaha! Okay na. Sorry, nalimutan ko pala. Busy lang. :)

Jayson Tuazon: Grabe. Ang ganda talaga. Pwede bang mag-save ng pictures mo? Gagawin ko lang wallpaper. :’)

Dominic Andrew Borromeo: Why you rizzin’, bruh? HAHAHAHAHA.

Farrah Mendoza: Walang chance si Jayson kay Vane. She likes older guys.

Khaye Dizon: Hindi ka pasok sa standards niya @Jayson Tuazon!

Vanessa Castillo: Luh? ’Di niyo sure. Hahaha. Joke lang.

Jayson Tuazon: Ayun! May assurance na pala ako. :)

Jededaiah Ponce: @Vanessa Castillo, reto kita sa pinsan ko. Guwapo ’yun, tapos malaki katawan.

Vanessa Castillo: Malaki rin naman katawan ni @Jayson Tuazon, pogi rin siya.

Iritado kong pinatay ang phone ko at padabog itong ibinato sa ibabaw ng computer desk. Kakagawa lang ng GC, landian na agad? Para saan ba talaga ’yung group chat na ’yun? Tsk.

Flirt all you fucking want!

Naphilamos ako sa mukha nang matalo na naman ako sa sumunod na round. Napagpasyahan kong huminto na muna at humiga sa kama.

Bukod sa Saturday na bukas, balak kong bisitahin ang condo ko baka inaamag na ’yun. Kapag wala akong girlfriend, dito lang ako sa bahay.

And the truth is, I’m really not used to being alone all the damn time…

Kinabukasan, maaga akong nagising pero wala ako sa mood gumalaw. Nakatitig lang ako sa kisame ng kwarto ko habang pilit na iwinawaksi ’yung mga nabasa ko sa GC kagabi.

Older guys? Malaking katawan? Tss.

Why do I even care? If he wants to date some buff college guy or entertain Jayson’s desperate attempts at rizzing him up, then so be it. It shouldn’t affect me. Pero ang aga-aga, bad trip na agad ako.

I spent the whole morning at my condo, just trying to clear my head. Pero kahit doon, parang hindi ko siya matakasan…

Naririnig ko pa rin ’yung tawa niya sa hallway, or that sensual quality in his voice every time he answers in class or talks to other people. It’s like his voice is stuck on loop in my head.

Nakakairita!

I ended up just staring at my unit’s window, watching the city traffic, hoping the noise outside would drown out the noise he’s making in my mind.

Monday morning. The start of a long week, and predictably, I was already in a foul mood. STEM life is hard enough with General Physics 1 and Pre-Calculus hanging over our heads, lalo na kung ang distraction mo ay ang seatmate mong pilit mong iniiwasan.

Pag-upo ko sa desk, I kept my eyes fixed on my phone, pretending to be busy reading some Physics modules. Pero sa gilid ng mga mata ko, I saw him. He was already there, looking fresh as usual. He wore a light perfume that smelled like vanilla and rain—subtle, but in the small space between our chairs, it was overwhelming.

“Tyler,” he called out softly.

I didn’t look up. “Ano?”

“The English project. Nabasa mo na ba ’yung announcement sa GC?”

I stiffened. The GC. I remembered his smirk from my thoughts over the weekend. I slowly turned my head to face him, and for a second, I forgot what I was going to say. He had his hair up in a messy bun, exposing his neck and that damn mole again.

“Hindi. I muted it,” I replied, trying to sound indifferent.

He leaned in a bit closer. “We’re partners for the term paper in EAPP. 1,500 words about contemporary literature. We need to start brainstorming today since we’ll be swamped with Pre-Calculus and Biology the rest of the week.”

I scoffed, my ego taking the driver’s seat. “Partners? Did you request this? Is this another way for you to get close to me?”

The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Tangina, ang daldal ko. Pero imbes na bawiin, hinarap ko siya at lalong tinaasan ng kilay para mapanindigan ang pagiging arogante ko.

He blinked several times, looking genuinely confused. It’s like he couldn’t process kung saan nanggagaling ang mga sinabi ko…

“Get close to you?” dahan-dahan niyang pag-uulit.

Tinuro pa niya ang sarili niya, animo’y hindi makapaniwala sa narinig, hanggang sa unti-unting kumunot ang noo niya. The confusion on his face was so genuine that for a split second, I felt like the biggest idiot in the room.

“Tyler, we’re in our senior year…” natawa siya nang bahagya. “Grade 12 na tayo. I’m just trying to survive STEM and pass our EAPP requirements. If you think I’d go through the trouble of rigging Ma’am Estiler’s seating chart just to be near you… then you’re more delusional than I thought.”

I stiffened. Delusional?! Ako?!

Bago pa ako makabawi, he leaned in slightly. Ang kaninang gulat sa mukha niya ay napalitan ng isang mapang-uyam na ekspresyon.

“And besides…” he added—and I could still hear the trace of his sensual voice in that low tone—before a small, mocking smile plastered across his lips.

“Iniisip mo pa rin ba na gusto kita?”

He stared at my face, his eyes cold and sharp. He looked pissed, like my very assumption was an insult to his character. Gone was the loud, annoying boy I remembered from elementary; in front of me was someone who wouldn’t hesitate to cut me down to size.

“Bakit? Hindi ba?” my jaw clenched, trying to maintain whatever was left of my composure. I was waiting for him to blush or look away, but he didn’t.

“Ew? Mga bata pa tayo years ago! I stopped liking you the moment I moved to another school,” he spat out, dripping with pure irritation.

Natahimik ako. I felt the heat crawl up my neck—a stinging mix of humiliation and shock. I wanted to bark back, to tell him I didn’t care anyway, but the words died in my throat. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. I felt like a complete idiot for assuming he was still that same kid who used to crave my attention.

“Paano ko—”

“Look,” he cut me off, his voice dull and unapologetic. Huminto siya sa ginagawa niya at hinarap ako nang diretso. “Napapansin ko na iniiwasan mo ako at tinitingnan mo ako na para akong kriminal.”

I opened my mouth to defend myself, but he wasn’t done.

“Kung hindi ka kumportable na katabi ako, fine. I get it. Pero huwag mong isipin na ginusto ko ’to, o na sinusundan kita,” he continued, his eyes narrowing.

“I’m here for my studies. If you can’t handle being professional just because of some elementary playground crush that—let’s be real—is ancient history, then that’s your problem. Not mine.”

Inirapan niya ako at tumaray ang kaniyang mga mata bago muling ibinalik ang atensyon sa harapan, sa teacher. He dismissed me just like that. Pinanood ko siyang mag-notes nang seryoso, his posture straight and his focus entirely on the lecture as if our conversation never happened.

It was a complete power move. Gone was the boy who used to stutter whenever I walked past him. Ang nasa tabi ko ngayon ay isang taong mas mature pa yata sa akin.

I couldn’t believe it. He used to be so obsessed with me back then!

Halos hindi siya maka-function noon kapag nandiyan ako. He’d follow me around like a lost puppy, giving me those adorable looks, always trying to be wherever I was.

Inis na inis ako noon dahil hindi ko siya matakasan. My ego was so used to having him at my beck and call, silently pining for me from a distance.

At ew? Anong ew?

Seryoso ba siya? Did he really just ‘Ew’ me? I’m Tyler Gregory Sy. Girls don’t ‘Ew’ me. They want me. They wish they could even sit this close to me. Pero sa kanya, para akong amag na nag-aassume ng kung anu-ano.

I felt my jaw tighten. I wanted to look at him and demand an explanation, pero nanatili siyang nakaharap sa teacher, seryosong nagsusulat ng notes para sa General Physics. He looked so calm, and. damn so unbothered, habang ako rito ay parang sasabog na ang dibdib sa inis at iritasyon.

“Alright, then. Kailan natin sisimulan?” mahina kong tanong.

I hated how small my voice sounded. Para akong asong bahag ang buntot matapos mapahiya. I didn’t even look at him; nakatitig lang ako sa notebook ko, kunwari ay tinitignan ang blankong page na dapat ay puno na ng Physics notes.

He didn’t answer immediately.

I watched him in my peripheral vision as he organized his things, the silence between us growing heavy. He looked so composed, samantalang ako, hindi mapakali sa sarili kong upuan.

“I have dance practice later until 6:00 PM. Tapos may… commitment ako after,” he answered after a while.

“Paano ’yung term paper natin sa Contemporary Literature?” tanong ko, trying to sound like I was only concerned about aming grades. I kept my face stoic, pretending the only thing on my mind was the 1,500-word requirement.

He stopped packing and faced me with a deep frown. The annoyance in his eyes was so fucking clear as the day…

“Ayaw ko na maging partner ka. Makipagpalit tayo,” he said, his voice cold and final.

I felt a jolt of shock. Siya? Siya ang gustong makipagpalit? “What? You can’t just swap partners. Ma’am Estiler was very clear. Seatmates are partners. Final na ’yon!”

“Then I’ll talk to her,” he shot back, his eyes narrowing. “Sasabihin ko na hindi tayo maka-work nang maayos. I’m sure Jayson or Rhyzen would be more than happy to switch seats with you. I need someone who actually wants to cooperate with me.” maanghang niyang sabi.

I felt a sharp jolt of irritation—and maybe a hint of panic. Jayson? Sa dinami-rami ng pwedeng banggitin, si Jayson pa? That guy has been eye-balling him since the first day of school.

Ang maisip pa lang na magkatabi sila habang gumagawa ng project, habang nagtatawanan, ay sapat na para magpanting ang tainga ko.

“You can’t just swap partners. Final na ang seating chart ni Ma’am Estiler para sa first semester,” ngisi ko.

I leaned back against the desk, crossing my arms over my chest. I felt a surge of triumph seeing him so frustrated. Akala niya siguro ganoon lang kadaling takasan ang presensya ko. But in this classroom, in this semester, he was stuck with me. At aminado ako—kahit gaano ko pa i-deny—gusto ko ’yung ideya na hindi niya ako basta-basta matatalikuran.

Ayaw ko rin naman sa kanya, pero gusto ko naman maki-cooperate. Ngayon na gusto ko, ayaw na niya?!

The audacity.

“You’re really going to risk your grades just because you can’t stand being near me for an hour a day?” hamon ko, pilit na ibinabalik ang kontrol sa usapan.

Umawang ang labi niya, animo’y hindi makapaniwala sa narinig. “Ako pa talaga? Eh, ikaw ’tong umiiwas sa akin?” natawa siya habang naiiling, a sound that was more mocking than friendly.

“Since the first day I sat here, you’ve been acting like I’m a radioactive hazard. You won’t look at me, you won’t talk to me, and you move your chair as far away as possible. And now, you’re playing the professional card?”

I opened my mouth to retort, but he held up a hand.

“It’s pathetic. You’re so scared of a past that I’ve already forgotten, you can’t even function as a normal classmate,” inirapan niya ako—isang mataray at punong-puno ng pagkadiring irap na tila ba isa akong dumi sa sapatos niya.

Talagang siya pa ang nandiri sa akin?!

Chapter 4

“Anong pinagusapan niyo ni Vane kanina?” usisa sa akin ni Dominic. Basketball practice namin ngayon at umupo muna ako sa bench para mag-break. I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead.

Binuksan ko ang bote ng tubig at uminom nang matagal, pilit na iniisip kung anong isasagot. I couldn’t exactly tell him: ‘Oh, he just called me pathetic and told me to get over myself’.

However my ego wouldn’t allow it…

“Wala. About the Contemporary Lit project lang,” tamad kong sagot sabay punas ng mukha gamit ang face towel.

“Project lang? Eh, bakit parang nakakita ka ng multo paglabas mo ng room kanina?” biro ni Dominic, sabay kindat sa akin. “Dati-rati, halos hindi mo madikitan ’yon. Ngayon, kayo pang magka-seatmate at partner. Destiny nga naman, ’no?”

“Different? Bakit, dahil mas gumanda?” sabat ni Jededaiah na kakalapit lang sa amin, bitbit ang bola. He was grinning, the kind of grin that made me want to throw my water bottle at him.

“Bro, let’s be real. Vanessa is the talk of the campus lately. Hindi na siya ’yung laging nakabuntot at sunod nang sunod sa’yo.”

Dominic smiled nostalgically, spinning the basketball on his finger. “Yeah, she was so head-over-heels for you back then. Grabe, Tyler. Halos maging anino mo na ’yun, ’di ba? No matter how much you ignored him or made him feel small, he’d still show up with that stupidly hopeful look on his face.”

“Kaya nga,” tango ni Jededaiah, tumatawa.

I gave them a glare. “Kadiri, gago! Ayaw ko sa bakla.” I grimaced, my voice dripping with disgust.

It was a reflex—a defense mechanism I’d honed for years. I needed to say it out loud to remind them, and perhaps to remind myself, that Tyler Gregory Sy didn’t do feelings, especially not for someone like Vanessa.

Dominic stopped spinning the ball and looked at me, his eyes narrowing as if he was seeing through my bullshit. “Sabi mo, eh. Pero aminin mo, Ty, iba ’yung tama sa ego noong siya pa ’yung humahabol sa’yo, ’di ba? Ngayon kasi, parang ikaw na ’yung hangin sa paningin niya.”

“Whatever. Pakialam ko ba?” I snapped, grabbing my gym bag and standing up. I didn’t want to hear another word. Dominic had a way of hitting the nail on the head, and right now, that nail was pierced straight through my pride.

Tangina naman kasi. Bakit ba nila ipinapaalala sa akin ang nakaraan? It made me uncomfortable back then!

The way he’d wait for me after practice, the way he’d leave notes on my locker, ’yung mga titig niyang punong-puno ng kung anong emosyon na hindi ko naman kayang suklian—it was too much. I didn’t know what to do with a boy who looked at me like I was his entire world. Kaya mas pinili kong maging gago. Mas madaling maging masungit kaysa aminin na hindi ko alam kung paano siya pakikitunguhan.

“Hoy, Tyler! Where are you going?!” tawag ni Jededaiah mula sa court. “May drills pa tayo, gago! Malapit na ang inter-school!”

“I’m out!” sigaw ko nang hindi man lang lumingon. Itinaas ko lang ang kamay ko bilang senyas habang patuloy ang mabilis na paglakad ko palayo.

“Anong out? Coach will kill you!” pahabol pa ni Dominic, pero hinayaan ko na silang magreklamo doon.

Bahala na si Coach. Bahala na ang drills. Just fuck it!

Papalabas na sana ako ng gymnasium nang matanaw ko ang dance troupe na papasok sa loob. I saw him along with Farrah. She was leading them, giving out instructions while the rest followed her lead.

But my eyes didn’t stay on Farrah for long. They immediately zeroed in on him.

Vince was walking beside her, nodding as they talked about the choreography or something.

“Okay, team! Positions!” Farrah clap-clapped her hands, and the group started to disperse.

I stood there, frozen near the exit. I should have left. I should have walked away and pretended I didn’t see him. Pero parang may sariling isip ang mga mata ko.

Hinintay kong magsimula ang kanilang practice at halos malaglag ang panga ko sa galing niyang sumayaw…

The music dropped—isang mabigat na hip-hop beat na yumanig sa loob ng gymnasium. Alam ko naman na sumasayaw siya, noon pa.

The music shifted into something slower but heavier—isang R&B track na may malalim na bass. Namilog ang mga mata ko nang mag-grind siya. It wasn’t just a dance move; it was fluid, intentional, and dangerously sinful. The way his hips moved, the way he rolled his body with such control… it was like he was mocking gravity. Or mocking me.

Nanuyot ang lalamunan ko at agad kong ipinilig ang ulo ko. Nagmamadali na akong umalis sa gymnasium.

Bawat hakbang ko palayo ay parang pagtakas sa isang sunog. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero pakiramdam ko ay nahuli ako sa isang kasalanang hindi ko naman ginawa.

Tangina…

Bakit ganito ang reaksyon ng katawan ko? I should be laughing. I should be making fun of him!

Pero habang papalayo ako, ang tanging naririnig ko ay ang malalim na bass ng R&B track na iyon at ang bawat bagsak ng katawan ni Vince sa sahig.

“Pull up and I rip it up like ballet. Damn, I really make it look easy. Yuh, know that I make it look easy…”

Farrah and Vince squealed in their high-pitched voices as they finished another TikTok dance at the back of the room. At talagang sa malapit ko pa naisipang mag-ingay. Kanina pa sila sayaw nang sayaw, at bawat kumpas nila ay unti-unting pumuputok ang pasensya ko. Isumbong ko kaya sila kay Ma’am? Imbes na mag-aral, pag-aartista ang inaatupag. Tangina.

Hindi pa ba sila napagod kakasayaw kahapon?!

It was our study hall—thirty minutes of supposed silence before the next subject—pero parang naging rehearsal studio ang likuran ko.

I glared at them, my pen digging into my notebook. Hindi ako maka-focus!

“Tangina! Hindi ba kayo titigil kakasayaw?!” iritadong suway ko.

Vince glanced at me, his face wasn’t losing its color as he froze mid-step. Pero si Farrah? She just arched her left brow, planting her hands on her hips. I clenched my jaw when I saw Vince instinctively grab Farrah’s arm, glancing at me for a split second before whispering something to her.

Farrah didn’t budge. Itinuro niya ang grupo nina Jayson na nag-gigitara at kumakanta sa may stage.

“Oh? Bakit kami lang ang sinuway mo? Eh, sa mas maingay pa nga sila sa amin?!” hamon niya.

Napalingon ang grupo nina Jayson, at bahagyang humina ang kanta nila dahil sa tensyon. Iritado kong kinamot ang pisngi ko, nararamdaman ang init ng inis na umaakyat sa leeg ko.

“Edi lumayo kayo rito at lumipat ng pwesto! Can’t you see I’m studying—”

“Really now, Sy? Since when did you become studious during study halls?!” she mocked.

The classroom erupted in laughter since narinig nila. Gaya ng inaasahan, kinantyawan na naman ako ng mga kaklase ko. My jaw tightened, but I forced myself to ignore them. My eyes stayed on Vince. I was waiting for him to join the laughter, to mock me like the rest of them.

But he didn’t. He was looking down at his nails—clean, well-kept, almost perfect. Arte nito. Bading. Gago!

Farrah crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. Hinawakan ni Vince ang siko ni Farrah, bahagyang hinila para awatin.

“Bakit?”

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa impis na tiyan ni Vince. Dahil nakatali ang P.E. shirt niya sa likod, kitang-kita ang maputi at malinis niyang pusod. My gaze lingered on his waist—flat stomach, thin waist, wide hips. How did he even manage to have that kind of body? It didn’t make sense. It was… distracting.

“Uh, lumipat na lang tayo—”

Inangat ko ang tingin ko sa mukha niya, pero mabilis niyang iniwas ang mga mata niya.

“Hindi! Bakit tayo lilipat?” asik ni Farrah. “Ang hina-hina nga—”

“He’s studying…” he interrupted in a small voice.

My lips pursed. He glanced at me once more—a fleeting, cold look—before turning his full attention back to Farrah, trying to persuade her to move so they wouldn’t bother me.

Farrah shook her head in disbelief. “Gosh, Vane? Hindi naman ganyan si Tyler. Never naman ’yan naging studious! Ang OA niya!”

Dumiin ang tingin ko kay Farrah na inirapan lang ako. Pero mas dumiin ang tingin ko kay Vince na ngayon ay marahan nang hinihila si Farrah palayo.

His hand was on her arm, his touch light but firm. Gusto kong hilahin ang kamay niya palayo rito. I didn’t even know why. Siguro dahil naiirita ako na kaya niyang hawakan ang ibang tao nang ganoon ka-komportable, habang sa akin ay halos ayaw na niyang dumikit kahit ang dulo ng kanyang daliri.

“Let’s go, Farrah. Doon na lang tayo sa labas ng room,” narinig kong bulong ni Vince.

Hindi na siya muling tumingin sa akin. It was like I had become invisible the moment he decided to move. Pinanood ko ang likod niya habang naglalakad sila palayo. Ang hubog ng kanyang baywang, ang marahan na indayog ng kanyang balakang—bawat detalye ay tila nakaukit sa utak ko kahit anong pilit kong iwas.

Nang sumapit ang practice, hindi na ako nakaligtas. Pagkatapos ng extra drills na ipinataw sa akin, pinatawag ako ni Coach sa gitna ng court habang ang ibang teammates ko ay nag-aayos na ng gamit.

Ramdam ko ang mga tingin ng mga kasamahan ko sa akin.

“Sy! Stand fast!” dagundong ng boses ni Coach barker.

“Coach.”

“Ano ’yung kagabi, Tyler? Bigla kang nag-out sa drills? Since when did this team become a walk-in, walk-out clinic for you?!” Sigaw niya na umalingawngaw sa buong gymnasium.

Yumuko ako, pero bago pa ako makasagot, dinuro niya ang dibdib ko gamit ang kaniyang whistle.

“You’re the star player, yes. Pero ang star, hindi nang-iiwan ng teammates sa ere! Malapit na ang inter-school! Kung ang utak mo ay wala sa court, ibigay mo na lang ’tong jersey mo sa iba!”

“Sorry, Coach. Hindi na mauulit,” maikli kong sagot. My jaw was clenched. Hindi ako sanay na napapahiya, lalo na sa harap ng team.

“Hindi na mauulit? Tyler, kanina pa kita pinapanood sa practice. Your head is in the clouds! Tatlong lay-up ang sablay mo, at halos hindi ka makasunod sa defensive rotation. What’s wrong with you?!”

Napatingin ako sa dulo ng gymnasium, sa pwesto kung saan ko nakita si Vince na sumasayaw kagabi.

“It’s nothing, Coach. I’ll do better,” pilit kong sabi.

Sabay-sabay kaming lumingon nang pumasok na naman ang dance troupe sa loob.

“Oh, it’s the dancers again,” bulong ni Jayson, pero hindi ko siya pinansin.

Ang paningin ko ay diretso lang sa isang tao…

Vince was wearing a loose black tank top today, showing off his lean arms and the sharp curve of his collarbones. Maiksi din ang shorts niya—masyadong maiksi para sa paningin ko. It showed off his pale, toned legs that seemed to glow under the gymnasium lights.

Kumaway si Ma’am del Vega sa amin, partikular na kay Coach, habang papasok siya kasunod ng dance troupe. Tila may pag-uusapan silang importante tungkol sa gagamiting space para sa event.

“Coach, hihiram lang kami ng kalahati ng court, ha? Kailangan na talagang ma-finalize ang blocking nila,” rinig kong sabi ni Ma’am.

“Sige lang, Ma’am. Paalis na rin kami,” sagot ni Coach sabay tingin sa akin. “O, Sy! Bilisan mo riyan! Huwag kang tumunganga!”

Doon lang ako natauhan. I did another set of drills, pushing myself harder than usual. I wanted to look busy, to look like I didn’t care that he was just a few meters away.

I went through my crossovers and lay-ups with a violent intensity. Pero kahit anong titig ko sa ring, nahahagip pa rin ng peripheral vision ko ang bawat galaw ni Vince sa kabilang side ng court.

Natigilan ako sandali at binalingan ang dance troupe. They’re stretching. Namilog ang mga mata ko dahil natanaw kong naka-split si Vince sa gitna ng court.

He was flat on the floor, his legs forming a perfect straight line, reaching forward with a flexibility that looked both graceful and painful. The black shorts he was wearing rode up his thighs, revealing even more of that pale, smooth skin.

Maski sina Coach ay natigilan at hindi napigilang mapanood sila. Ang ingay ng mga sapatos na nagtitilihan sa court at ang talakayan ng mga players ay unti-unting humupa, napalitan ng mabigat na bass ng speaker nina Ma’am del Vega.

Ang kanyang katawan ay tila walang buto habang dahan-dahang yumuyuko paharap hanggang sa dumikit ang dibdib niya sa sahig.

Nagpalakpakan ang teammates ko dahil nag-bending na siya. It was a full bridge—isang arch na pabaliktad kung saan ang mga kamay at paa lang niya ang nakasayad sa floor.

What the fuck?! Parang ’yon lang?!

Nanggagalaiti ako sa loob ko habang nakikita ang mga teammates kong halos maglaway sa hanga. Si Jayson, si Dominic—pati si Coach—mukhang mga tangang manghang-mangha. Anong meron? Bending lang ’yan! Lahat naman kami athletic dito, lahat kami marunong mag-stretching. Pero bakit sa kaniya, mukhang espesyal? Bakit sa kaniya, parang kailangan pang bigyan ng standing ovation?

Dumiin ang hawak ko sa bola. Hindi ko matanggap na ang atensyon ng lahat, na dati ay sa akin lang tuwing nasa court ako, ay nanakaw ng isang baklang naka-split at naka-bending sa harap namin.

Pinanood ko siyang dahan-dahang bumalik sa pagkakatayo mula sa bending. His movements were fluid, like water. Noong nakatayo na siya, hinawi niya ang ilang hibla ng buhok na humarang sa kanyang mata.

Bigla siyang tumingin sa akin. Hindi ko nagawang umiwas. My heart skipped a beat, but not in the way it used to. Ang akala ko ay dadaan lang ang tingin niya, pero hindi.

He stared directly into my eyes.

There was no warmth there. Walang takot, walang kaba, at lalong walang paghanga…

Huminga ako nang malalim. My lungs felt heavy, as if the air in the gym had suddenly become too thin to breathe.

Dati, ang bawat galaw ko ay sapat na para mamula siya dahil sa kilig.

He looked away and went back to the routine like I was just a fly on the fucking wall.

“Sy! Galaw!” bulyaw bigla ni Coach na nagpagulat sa akin.

I tried to dribble, but the ball felt clumsy in my hands. Fuck! Ano ba naman ’to!

I covered my face with my hands. Nandito ako sa loob ng locker room ng gymnasium, nakaupo sa malamig na wooden bench habang tumutulo ang pawis mula sa buhok ko patungo sa sahig. Tahimik na ang paligid—nakaalis na ang mga teammates ko, at malamang ay tapos na rin ang rehearsal ng dance troupe.

Coach almost stripped my captain title a while ago!

“Ayusin mo ang sarili mo, Sy!” bulyaw niya sa akin kanina bago kami tuluyang pinalabas ng court.

I looked at my hands, still trembling slightly. Vince saw it all. He saw me fumble the ball. He saw Coach scream at me. He saw me fall apart in the very place where I used to feel like a damn god.

Tangina…

Bakit ba ako nagkakaganito? He didn’t even laugh or bother glance at my way, unlike the other dance troupe and my team when Coach scolded me.

Oo, tumingin naman siya. He looked at me for maybe a second, two at most.

Tamad kong binabasa ang mga messages sa group chat namin habang nakahiga ako sa kama. Nakita ko ang sunod-sunod na chat nina Jayson.

Jayson Tuazon: @Vanessa Castillo Mag cheerleader ka nga. Para sa akin. :)

Napako ang tingin ko sa screen. Ang tamad na pag-scroll ko ay biglang huminto, at parang may kung anong uling na nagbaga sa loob ng dibdib ko nang mabasa ko ’yon. The hell…

Tangina nito. Ang kapal ng mukha.

Vanessa Castillo: Nasa dance troupe na ako :(

Dominic Andrew Borromeo: Bakit mo ba siya pinipilit man?

Shaun Mikael Soriano: Ako na lang ang mag cheerleader for you baby hihi

Jayson Tuazon: Nevermind HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Shaun Mikael Soriano: ???

Sa sobrang inis ko, baka kung ano pa ang mai-type ko sa group chat. Agad kong pinindot ang Leave Group. Bahala sila riyan! May putanginang private message naman, bakit sila sa GC naglalandian?!

Sira na ang gabi ko. Sira na ang mood ko. I threw my phone onto the mattress, but the frustration was vibrating under my skin.

I tossed my phone to the side, pero kinuha ko rin agad. I needed a damn distraction!

Hahanap na sana ako ng ibang macha-chat—maybe that girl from the nursing department who kept liking my stories—nang biglang umilaw ulit ang screen ko.

One new Message Request.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Pag-pindot ko, halos tumigil ang tibok ng puso ko nang mabasa ko ang pangalan.

Vanessa Castillo.

I swallowed hard and check to read his message.

Vanessa Castillo: Bukas ng hapon. Punta tayo sa library. As much as I hated you as my partner, kailangan nating tapusin ang pinagagawa sa atin. 1,500 words lang naman ’yon, Tyler.

I accepted his message request and started typing. My heart was thumping so hard I could feel it in my throat. I deleted my first three drafts. Sorry? No, he’d hate that. I’ll be there? Too short.

In the end, I just let my frustration and the remnants of my ego take over.

Tyler Gregory Sy: Geh. Pupunta ako.

Tyler Gregory Sy: Pero kailangan mo ba talagang sabihin na kinamumuhian mo ako?

I stared at the phone, my thumb hovering over the screen. Bakit ko ba tinanong ’yon? It sounded desperate. Parang nanlilimos ako ng atensyon o kahit katiting na emosyon mula sa kanya.

Vanessa Castillo: I’m just being efficient, Tyler. Para hindi ka na mag-expect na magiging maayos tayo sa library bukas.

Vanessa Castillo: We are partners for this paper, not friends. After we hit that word count and submit, I don’t ever want to have a reason to talk to you again.

Vanessa Castillo: Matulog ka na. Baka mag-fumble ka na naman bukas, kasalanan ko pa kasi nando’n ako sa gym.

My jaw dropped. What the fuck?! Anong pinagsasasabi niya?!

Tyler Gregory Sy: So aminado ka? Aminado ka na kaya mo ginagawa ’to ay para inisin ako?

Tyler Gregory Sy: At kailan ka pa naging ganyan kakapal ang mukha, Castillo? Akala mo ba ang laki ng epekto mo sa akin?

Vanessa Castillo: Well, the way you ignore me says so right on the tin.

“Man…” I gritted my teeth, throwing my head back against the headboard.

Tiningnan ko ulit ang screen ng phone ko. Hindi ko na alam ang susunod kong reply dahil… tama naman siya. Ang hirap aminin, pero sapul ako…

I typed for a reply and then hit send, yet I couldn’t. Namilog ang mga mata ko sa nakita ko.

This person is unavailable on Messenger.

He blocked me?!

“Putangina!” I hissed, clicking the send button repeatedly na paeang may magagawa ’yon. Pero wala. The bubble stayed gray. The text stayed unsent.

“Bading!” I scowled, throwing my phone against the pillows.

Chapter 5

Pumasok ako sa room at agad kong tiningnan ang upuan naming dalawa.

He wasn’t there yet…

Huminga ako nang malalim, pilit pinapakalma ang sarili ko kahit halos magkabuhol-buhol na ang mga ugat ko sa iritasyon.

Halos hindi ako nakatulog kagabi. Ako na ang mag-isang tumapos sa 1,500-word contemporary literature term paper na kaming dalawa naman dapat ang gagawa.

I stayed up until four in the morning, grinding through every single paragraph and making sure every citation was perfect, just so he wouldn’t have a single reason to bitch about me not being studious enough.

Tangina talaga. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na siya pa—siya pa talaga—ang may ganang mang-block sa akin.

“Tyler! Ano na, pre? Tulala tayo ah!”

Nabalik ako sa realidad nang marinig ko ang malakas na boses ni Jededaiah. Napalingon ako sa pinto ng room at nakita ko silang apat na naglalakad palapit. Naka-akbay si Dominic kay Khaye, habang nagtatawanan silang lahat.

Bago pa ako makasagot, pasimpleng bumalik ang tingin ko sa upuan sa tabi ko. Sa upuan ni Vanessa—no—Vince.

Masama pa rin ang tingin ko sa silya niya. I was staring at it like it owed me a life-saving explanation. Para bang kung tititigan ko ’yun nang sapat na tagal, mahiwagang sasabihin nung kahoy kung bakit kailangan niyang gawin ’yun. Bakit kailangan niya akong i-block?!

“Hoy, Tyler! Tinatanong kita kung tuloy tayo sa house party?” tapik ni Dominic sa balikat ko, hindi pa rin tinatanggal ang akbay niya sa kaniyang girlfriend.

“Parang wala ka sa mood, ah?”

“Lalim ng iniisip natin, bro,” asar naman ni Jededaiah.

Reizza glared at him. She nudged him with her elbow, hard enough to make him wince at her.

“Manahimik ka nga! Kita mong bad trip ’yung tao, e.” Lumapit sa akin si Reizza, her eyes scanning my exhausted face. “You look terrible, Ty. Nakatulog ka ba kahit isang oras kagabi?”

“What? Hindi pa ba kayo sanay?” I muttered, running a hand over my face. I could feel the grit in my eyes from the lack of sleep.

“Iba ’to, e,” Reizza insisted.

Umingos ako. “Tinapos ko na ’yung contemporary literature term paper namin ni Vi—Vanessa.”

Damn. I had to check myself. I had to call him by his preferred name. The last thing I wanted was for the squad—or anyone else in this room—to think I was being transphobic or petty just because they see Vince as a woman now. But not me. Tss.

“Wait, mag-isa mo?” Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Khaye, tuluyang bumitaw sa pagkaka-akbay kay Dominic. “Akala ko ba partner kayo roon? Tsaka balita ko, grabe magpa-grade si Ma’am Estiler sa lit paper.”

I snorted. “Yeah, we were. Not until h—she blocked me on Facebook.”

Natigilan silang lahat. Agad kong nakagat ang labi ko nang marealize ko ang sinabi ko. Damn it…

“She blocked you? Why?” Khaye looked confused. Lumapit siya nang kaunti sa desk ko. “Bakit ka niya iblo-block? Ano bang pinag-usapan niyo?”

“Ewan ko sa bak—babaeng ’yon,” bulong ko, pilit na ibinabalik sa tamang pronoun ang dila ko para hindi na ako masita nina Reizza. “Siya naman ’tong nag-message sa akin para ituloy na namin ’yon tapos bigla akong blinock.”

Ramdam ko ang lamig ng pawis sa batok ko. I almost said it. Muntik ko na siyang matawag na bakla. Napakagat ako sa loob ng pisngi ko, hiling na sana ay walang nakapansin sa muntik ko nang sabihin. Gusto ko lang naman magreklamo tungkol sa papel namin, hindi ang gumawa ng panibagong gulo sa harap ng mga kaibigan ko.

“Wait, siya ang nag-initiate na mag-message sa’yo?” kunot-noong tanong ni Khaye, lalong naguluhan. “Ang labo naman yata kung siya ang nag-aya tapos siya ang mang-iiwan sa ere.”

“Oo! Siya nalang ang tanungin niyo!” I grimaced, frustration leaking through my teeth. “I was actually willing to cooperate.”

“Hindi pa ba kayo friends ni Vane sa Facebook until now? It’s been…” Hindi matuloy ni Reizza ang sasabihin niya. Tiningnan niya ako nang matagal bago siya huminga nang malalim. “You hate her, don’t you? Let’s not ignore the elephant in the room, Ty. Sobrang uncomfortable ka simula noong maging seatmate kayong dalawa. Why?”

I licked my lower lip and had to think.

Bakit nga ba?

Khaye crossed her arms below her chest. “Don’t tell me hindi ka pa nakaka-move on noon sa past? They said she was so into you when you were kids, eh, malalaki na kayo ngayon?”

The air in our circle turned completely stagnant.

“Ano namang kinalaman ng pagkabata namin dito?!” I snapped, a little too defensive, making Dominic raise an eyebrow.

Fuck!

“Okay, okay… chill ka lang, bro,” sabi ni Dominic. “Nagtatanong lang naman si Khaye. Masyado kang high-blood, e.”

Si Reizza naman, inirapan ako bago tumungo sa sarili niyang upuan.

“Defensive…” bulong naman ni Jededaiah, sabay tawa nang mahina.

Bago ko pa man mabatukan si Jed, biglang tumahimik ang buong classroom. Dumating na si Ma’am Estiler.

Mabilis kumilos ang mga kaibigan ko patungo sa kani-kanilang mga upuan, natahimik na rin ang aming mga kaklase at umayos ng upo. The sudden shift from loud classroom gossip to dead silence made my heart beat a little faster. Kaniya-kaniyang labas na ng notebooks and laptops ang lahat.

“Good morning, class!” Ma’am Estiler greeted, dropping her heavy leather bag onto the podium with a thud. She then adjusted her glasses and scanned the room with a sharp, no-nonsense gaze. “As I’ve mentioned last week, tomorrow is the deadline for your 1,500-word contemporary literature term paper. I expect all pairs to use today’s asynchronous period to finalize your drafts.”

It’s Friday tomorrow?! Kaya pala nag-message na sa akin si Vince kagabi? But he fucking blocked me!

Fuck. Kung bukas pa ang deadline, ibig sabihin hindi niya ako dinitch. Kaya siya nag-reach out kagabi ay dahil naghahabol siya para sa tamang timeline.

Dumako ang mga mata ko sa pintuan. Is he late or what?

Mabilis kong ibinalik ang paningin ko sa unahan nang magsimula nang mag-attendance si Ma’am Estiler, pilit na itinatago ang nagwawalang emosyon sa mukha ko. Pero ang utak ko, naiiwan pa rin sa pintuan ng classroom.

Nasaan na ba siya? At bakit ba siya pa rin ang tinatawag ng utak ko? Vanessa, Tyler. Vanessa. Paulit-ulit kong pinapaalalahanan ang sarili ko habang isa-isang tinatawag ni Ma’am Estiler ang mga pangalan ng mga kaklase namin.

“Abad?”

“Present, Ma’am.”

“Aguilar?”

“Present.”

Bawat segundong lumilipas, lalong bumibigat ang timbang ng MacBook ko sa harap ko. Kung bukas pa ang deadline, ibig sabihin buong magdamag akong nagpuyat para sa wala.

“Castillo?” Tawag ni Ma’am Estiler sa apelyido niya.

Katahimikan. Walang sumagot mula sa tabi ko. Bahagya pa akong napaayos ng upo dahil medyo lumipad ang isip ko habang nakatitig sa pinto.

Naramdaman ko ang mararahas na sulyap nina Reizza, Khaye, Dominic, at Jededaiah mula sa kabilang row, pilit na binabasa ang reaksyon ko habang patuloy na nagtatawag si Ma’am.

“Castillo?” muling tawag ni Ma’am Estiler pagkalipas ng ilang minuto. Mas matigas na ang tono ng boses niya ngayon, naghahanap na ng sagot para sa bakanteng silya sa tabi ko.

Bumalik ako sa katotohanan. Napalunok ako, dahan-dahang itinaas ang kamay ko kahit hindi ko naman obligasyong sumagot para sa… kaniya.

“Ma’am, baka po male-late lang,” mabilis kong salo, medyo nabigla pa kaya napalakas ang boses ko.

Tiningnan ako ni Ma’am Estiler nang matagal, ibinaba nang bahagya ang salamin niya sa dulo ng kaniyang ilong habang sinusuri ang mukha ko. Parang binabasa niya kung nagsisinungaling ba ako o kung bakit ako ang sumasagot para sa ka-partner ko.

“Are you sure, Mr. Sy?” seryosong tanong niya, ang ballpen ay nakaturo pa rin sa tapat ng pangalan ni Vince. “You do know that if she doesn’t show up today, your presentation slot for tomorrow might be compromised. Magagawa mo ba ’yan mag-isa?”

“O-Opo, Ma’am,” sagot ko na lang, kahit ang totoo ay pakiramdam ko ay sasabog na ang dibdib ko sa halo-halong inis at kaba.

“Very well. I’ll give her a few more minutes,” sabi ni Ma’am bago tuluyang ibinalik ang tingin sa hawak na attendance sheet.

My jaw clenched. I’ll wait for her for a few more minutes too…

At kapag hindi pa siya dumating pagkatapos niyon, bahala na. Ipapasa ko ang gawa ko na pangalan ko lang ang nakalagay.

Ibinalik ko ang tingin ko sa screen ng MacBook ko, halos mabasag na ang trackpad sa diin ng pagkaka-press ko habang pilit kong pinapakalma ang sarili ko.

Five minutes had passed and he’s not here yet.

Pinagpapawisan na ang mga palad ko at panay na ang tingin ko sa pintuan.

Tangina, nasaan ka na ba?!

Ang bawat tibok ng orasan sa pader ng classroom namin, parang sumasabay sa kabog ng dibdib ko. Tiningnan ko ang pangalan niya sa temporary draft ko—Vanessa Castillo. Ilang pindot ko lang sa backspace, mabubura na siya rito. Mawawalan siya ng grade sa major na ’to!

Pero gago, bakit ba ako natatakot para sa kaniya? Siya ’tong namblock, siya ’tong iresponsable sa aming dalawa?

Ten minutes. Hindi na talaga siya dumating. Isinara ni Ma’am Estiler ang attendance sheet at tumayo sa harap ng podium. “Alright, since everyone is accounted for—except for Ms. Castillo—you may now begin working with your partners. I want to see significant progress on your drafts before the period ends.”

Nagsimula nang mag-ingay ang classroom habang naghihilahan ng mga upuan ang mga kaklase namin. Mabilis na lumingon sa direksyon ko sina Dominic at Jededaiah, parehong may mapang-asar na ngiti sa labi, pero agad ding natunaw ang mga expression nila nang makita ang talagang itsura ko.

I looked like I was about to commit murder…

My hands were shaking as I hovered my cursor over his name on the document header. Vanessa Castillo. Binura ko ang pangalan niya. Isang mabilis na pindot lang sa backspace, wala na. Ako na lang. I spent the entire night doing his job anyway, so why should he get the credit?!

Pero habang tinititigan ko ang nag-iisang pangalan ko sa screen, may kung anong mabigat na bumara sa lalamunan ko. Ang gago lang. Ang gago lang na hanggang ngayon, naghihintay pa rin ako na biglang bubukas ’yung pinto at hihingal-hingal siyang hihingi ng tawad kay Ma’am.

“Bro, okay ka lang?” Lumapit na si Dominic sa row ko, dinala ang sarili niyang upuan.

“I-solo mo na ’yan, Tyler. Tutal ikaw naman gumawa lahat, ’di ba?” dugtong naman ni Jededaiah.

Hindi ko sila sinagot. I just stared at my MacBook screen, my teeth grinding so hard my jaw ached. Ang gago lang sa pakiramdam. Sobrang gago!

Fifteen minutes passed. Then twenty. Hanggang sa matapos na lang ang oras para sa asynchronous period, tuluyan nang hindi sumipot si Vince…

Bago matapos ang period ay tiningnan ni Ma’am Estiler ang draft ko. She was shocked to see me finish the entire 1,500-word paper all by myself.

Lumapit siya sa desk ko, nakatitig sa monitor ng MacBook ko habang nakakunot ang noo. “Mr. Sy, you completed the entire contemporary literature paper? Alone? In less than a week?” bakas ang gulat at pagtataka sa boses ni Ma’am Estiler.

“Ah, opo Ma’am…” napakamot ako sa batok ko, medyo nailang dahil ramdam ko ang tingin ng mga kaklase ko.

Humarap sa akin si Ma’am, ibinaba nang bahagya ang salamin niya. “I admire your dedication, Mr. Sy, but this was supposed to be a paired project. Where is Ms. Castillo? Sabi mo kanina papasok siya?”

“Hindi ko na po alam, Ma’am,” sagot ko, pilit na itinatago ang pait sa boses ko.

“Very well. Since you did all the work and she failed to show up during the final drafting and consultation period, I cannot credit this output to her,” seryosong pahayag ni Ma’am Estiler habang may isinusulat sa kaniyang record book. “You will receive the full grade for this submission, Mr. Sy. As for Ms. Castillo, she will have to explain her absence and lack of contribution to me directly.”

“Salamat po, Ma’am…”

Nang mag-ring ang bell at umalis si Ma’am Estiler, doon lang ako nakahinga nang malalim.

Sa sumunod na subject ay para akong lutang. Nakatitig lang ako sa white board sa unahan habang nagsasalita ang professor namin, pero wala kahit isang salita ang pumapasok sa utak ko.

Bumaling ako sa upuan niya. Bakit hindi siya pumasok?

Kinuha ko ang phone ko mula sa bulsa ng pants ko at inilapag sa ilalim ng desk, pilit na itinatago sa paningin ng professor.

Pumunta ako sa search bar at mabilis na itinigbak ang pangalan niya. Vanessa Castillo. Lumabas naman ang account niya, pero pag-click ko sa conversation thread namin, doon na ako tuluyang hinarangan ng malaking katotohanan.

You cannot reply to this conversation. Learn more.

“Tangina talaga,” bulong ko sa sarili ko, sabay hilamos ng mukha gamit ang dalawang palad.

Mariin kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko. Ang sakit sa ulo. Bakit ba ako nagkakaganto? Dapat ay naglulundag na ako sa tuwa ngayon dahil panalo ang pride ko.

Nakuha ko ang buong credit ng term paper, zero siya sa grading component na ’to habang marked absent pa, at napatunayan kong hindi ko siya kailangang dambanain.

“Psst. Tyler,” mahinang sutsot ni Dominic mula sa likuran ko, sabay sipa sa paa ng upuan ko. “Ano, pre? House party raw mamaya?”

Hindi ko siya nilingon. Nanatili lang ang tingin ko sa screen ng phone ko.

Umigting ang panga ko, pilit na hinahawi ang pait at inis na unti-unting lumalala sa dibdib ko.

“Tyler, ano na?” muling sipa ni Dominic sa upuan ko, medyo naiinip na sa hindi ko pagsagot. “Kila Nathan raw ang tuloy. Solid ’to, dagsa raw mga tao galing ibang section. G ka?”

“Hindi ako makakasama,” matabang kong sagot, pilit na pinabababa ang bara sa dibdib ko habang hindi pa rin inaalis ang tingin sa screen.

“Luh? Bakit?” tanong nita, tuluyan nang sumandal sa upuan ko at hinampas nang mahina ang likod ko.

“Basta, ayoko.”

“Ngayon ka lang tatanggi sa house party, ah? Dahil ba kay Vanessa? Pre, iniwan ka na nga sa ere, huwag mo nang seryosohin. Hayaan mo siya.”

“Hindi nga dahil sa kaniya,” may pagkamagaspang kong sagot, pilit na pinatitigas ang boses para lang tantanan niya ako. “May kailangan lang talaga akong asikasuhin sa bahay.”

“KJ mo naman, bro. Sige, kami na lang muna kung ayaw mo talaga,”

Nang mag-breaktime ay sumabay na lang ako sa agos. Kasabay ng tunog ng bell ang sabay-sabay na pagtayuan at ingay ng mga kaklase ko, ay sumabay na rin ako palabas ng pinto. Bitbit ang backpack ko sa isang balikat, hinayaan ko na lang ang mga paa kong sumunod sa bulto ng mga estudyanteng pababa ng hagdan patungo sa cafeteria, kasabay ang mga kaibigan ko.

Natanaw ko si Farah, kasama sina Jubilyn sa may tapat ng bulletin board. She’s friends with Vince. Does she know why he didn’t show up today?

Parang nabuhayan ang patay kong sistema. Agad kong binitawan ang braso ni Dominic na muntik ko nang maihila sa pagmamadali.

“Huy, Tyler! Saan ka pupunta? Doon ang cafeteria, bro!” sigaw ni Dominic sa likod ko, pero hindi ko na siya nilingon.

“Mauna na kayo! May pupuntahan lang ako!” nagmamadali kong paalam habang mabilis na binabaybay ang siksikang hallway patungo sa direksyon nina Farah.

Halos bungguin ko na ang ilang estudyanteng nakaharang sa daan, hindi pinapansin ang mga reklamo nila habang palapit ako nang palapit sa may bulletin board. Si Farah ang isa sa mga pinakamalapit na kaibigan ni Vanessa sa block namin.

They’re both members of the university dance troupe, kaya halos buong araw silang magkasama kung hindi sa klase, sa mga rehearsals. Kung may nakakaalam man kung nasaan ang partner ko, walang iba kundi siya.

Nang marinig nila ang mabilis kong yabag, sabay na napatigil sa pag-uusap si Farah at Jubilyn. Lumingon sila sa direksyon ko, at kapwa kumunot ang mga noo nila nang makita kung sino ang humahangos sa harap nila. Bakas sa mukha ni Farah ang matinding kawalan ng gana nang makita niya ako.

“Farah…”

“O, Tyler? Bakit?” mataray na tanong ni Farah, habang yakap-yakap ang kaniyang binder sa dibdib. Bigla siyang siniko ni Jubilyn dahil sa tono ng kaibigan niya. Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ni Jubilyn at palihim na sumulyap sa paligid, baka sakaling may ibang nakakarinig sa amin sa gitna ng hallway.

“Farah, baguhin mo nga ’yang tono mo, marami ring tao,” pabulong na saway ni Jubilyn.

Hindi pinansin ni Farah ang saway ng kaibigan niya. Mas lalo niya akong tinitigan nang matalim, hindi man lang nagbago ang tindig niya sa harap ko. Inirapan pa nga ako. Tss!

“Where’s Vi—Vanessa? May alam ka ba kung bakit hindi siya pumasok ngayon? You’re friends with hi—her, right?” sunod-sunod kong tanong, halos mabulol pa ako dahil sa halo-halong emosyon na hindi ko lahat mapangalanan na sumasakal sa akin ngayon.

Her brows furrowed. “I don’t know. Oo, friends kami. Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit siya absent today,” sagot ni Farah, pero mas lalong dumiin ang titig niya sa akin. “Ang alam ko lang, kagabi pa siya hindi nagre-reply sa gc ng dance troupe namin. Alis na kami—”

“Wait lang! Uh? By chance, alam mo ba ang… bahay niya? Kung saan siya nakatira?” I swallowed hard.

Natigilan silang dalawa sa balak nilang pag-talikod at pag-alis. Mas lalong kumunot ang noo niya, at sa pagkakataong ito, pati si Jubilyn ay napaharap nang tuluyan sa akin, bakas ang matinding pagtataka sa mukha nilang dalawa.

“Wait, ano?” medyo tumaas ang boses ni Farah, kaya muli siyang siniko ni Jubilyn para paalalahanan na nasa gitna kami ng hallway. Idiniin niya ang yakap sa binder niya at tinitigan ako na parang nawawalan na ako ng bait.

“Tinatanong mo sa amin kung saan siya nakatira? Magkapareha kayo sa major paper niyo tapos hindi mo alam kung saan ang bahay niya?”

“Hindi ko talaga alam,” pag-amin ko.

Nagkatinginan silang dalawa. Bakas sa mga mukha nila ang halo-halong pagtataka at hindi makapaniwalang reaksyon. Kitang-kita ko ang pagbuntong-hininga nang malalim ni Jubilyn, habang si Farah naman ay napailing na lang na parang mas lalo akong naging disappointment sa paningin niya.

“You are not friends on social media? or have her contact at all?”

“We talk on Messenger, but…” I licked my lower lip. “Naka-block ako ngayon. At… at wala akong phone number niya dahil sa chat lang talaga kami palaging nag-uusap tungkol sa paper.”

“She blocked you?” Farah had the same reaction as my friends. She then let out a sharp, breathless laugh, shaking her head as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Unbelievable,” She muttered, crossing her arms tightly over her binder. “Seryoso, Tyler? Napakahaba ng pasensya ni Vanessa, lalo na pagdating sa mga school works. Kung nagawa ka niyang i-block, ibig sabihin lang talaga niyan, sagad na sagad na siya sa iyo.”

“Kaya nga p-pakiusap… gusto ko lang siya makausap tungkol sa lit paper naming dalawa a-after school…” I pleaded, swallowing the lump in my throat. Fuck! Hindi ko lubos maisip na ginagawa ko ’to!

Muli silang nagkatinginan na dalawa. Sa pagkakataong ito, wala na ang inis o ang mapang-uring tingin sa mga mata nila. Nakita ko ang dahan-dahang pag-baba ng depensa ni Farah, habang si Jubilyn naman ay marahang tumango sa kaniya, tila nag-uusap gamit lamang ang mga mata kung dapat ba nila akong pagkatiwalaan.

“Hindi rin namin alam ang eksaktong block at lot ng bahay niya, Tyler,” panimula niya, na siyang nagpabilis sa tibok ng puso ko.

“Tuwing may rehearsals kami o kapag sabay-sabay kaming sumasakay ng Grab pauwi, doon lang siya palaging nagpapababa sa may pangunahing guard house ng Villa Solana sa San Jose. Ang alam lang namin, Phase 2 ang daan pabalik sa kanila.”

“Villa Solana, Phase 2…” ulit ko, pilit na isinasaulo ang bawat pantig.

“Malawak ang subdivision na ’yon, Ty. At siguradong mahigpit ang mga guard sa gate, lalo na’t hindi mo alam ang saktong address niya,” paalala ni Jubilyn, na bakas pa rin ng pag-aalinlangan sa mga mata.

“Bahala ka na kung paano mo siya hahanapin doon. Ask the guards,” dugtong pa niya bago sila tuluyang tumalikod ni Farah para maglakad palayo patungo sa cafeteria.

Chapter 6

Nang mag-ring ang bell para sa huling subject ng hapon, hindi na ako sumabay sa squad. Iniwasan ko ang mga tawag ni Dominic tungkol sa house party at mabilis na tinungo ang parking lot ng unibersidad.

Pumasok ako sa loob at pabagsak na isinara ang pinto, bago isinandal ang ulo sa manibela. Saglit kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko, pilit na hinahawi ang mukha ni Vince sa utak ko. Pero bawat segundong pananatili ko sa loob ng sasakyan, mas lalo lang akong binabalot ng inis.

Tangina talaga…

Inistart ko ang makina, mabilis na pinihit ang manibela, at pinaharurot ang kotse palabas ng campus.

Buong biyahe ay nakatitig lang ako sa kalsada. Ang plano ko lang naman talaga pagkatapos ng klase ay umuwi at matulog dahil halos magkabuhol-buhol na ang mga ugat ko sa puyat. Pero imbes na sa direksyon ng subdivision namin ako lumiko, dinala ako ng mga kamay ko patungo sa San Jose.

Paano ko ba sasabihin sa sarili ko na magmamaneho ako patungo sa isang subdivision na hindi ko naman alam ang eksaktong address, para lang hanapin ang ka-partner ko na nag-block sa akin sa Facebook?

Padilim na nang makarating ako sa gate ng Villa Solana dahil sa traffic. Kulay ginto ang nakaukit na Villa Solana Private Residences sa malaking arko ng subdivision.

Damn. Why am I even doing this?

The place was high-end and heavily secured, but I wasn’t exactly standard-class myself. It didn’t phase me. I grew up around neighborhoods just like this, so the massive concrete arches and the elite security didn’t give me that intimidating itch. It was just another expensive gate.

True enough to Jubilyn’s warning, though, the security was tight. Dalawang guwardiya na naka-uniporme ang nakatayo sa tabi ng itim na bakal na gate sa ilalim ng malamlam na ilaw ng mga streetlamp, may hawak na clipboards.

I slowed down my car and rolled down the window as I approached the guard house. Pilit kong pinatigas ang mukha ko para magmukhang seryoso sa harap nila.

“Magandang gabi mga boss. May bibisitahin lang sana ako sa Phase 2,” panimula ko, pilit na ngiti ang sumilay sa aking labi.

Tiningnan ako ng guard mula sa labas, sumulyap sa dashboard at sa loob ng kotse ko bago tumango nang bahagya. Sanay na sila sa mga ganitong klase ng sasakyan, pero trabaho pa rin nila ang maghigpit.

“Magandang gabi rin, sir. Anong block at lot po? At sino pong may-ari ng bahay?” tanong ng nakatataas na guard habang inihahanda ang clipboard niya.

Napalunok ako. I licked my lower lip, my fingers tapping against the steering wheel out of pure impatience.

“Ah… hindi ko alam ang exact address, e. Pero si Vanessa Castillo ang bibisitahin ko. Ka-partner ko sa school. May kailangan lang kaming tapusin na importanteng paper para bukas.”

Kunot-noong tiningnan ng guard ang logbook niya bago tumingin ulit sa akin. “Castillo? Maraming Castillo rito, sir. Kung walang block at lot, hindi po namin kayo pwedeng papasukin. At bawal din ang mag-ikot-ikot lang sa loob, lalo na sa Phase 2.”

“Boss, pakiusap naman. Importante lang talaga. Hindi siya pumasok ngayon at naka-block ako sa kaniya, kaya hindi ko maitanong ang address,” medyo lumabas na naman ang gasgas ng inis sa boses ko, pero pinilit kong panatilihin ang kontrol.

“Baka naman pwedeng paki-check kung may Vanessa Castillo sa Phase 2?”

Tiningnan ako ng isa pang guard, mukhang nakatunog sa sitwasyon ko at sa pagiging desidido ko. “Sandali lang, sir.” Pumasok siya sa loob ng guard house at may hinalungkat na file. Pagkalipas ng ilang minuto, lumabas siya habang may hawak na landline phone.

“May Castillo sa Phase 2, Block 14, Lot 8. Pero ’yung nakarehistrong pangalan ng anak doon… Vanessa Castillo. Iyon ba ang hinahanap mo, sir?”

“O-Opo. Siya nga po,” sagot ko, medyo gumaralgal pa ang boses ko bago ko mabilis na naibalik ang seryoso kong mukha.

“Tinawagan namin ’yung bahay, pero walang sumasagot sa telepono, sir. Pwede ka naming papasukin pero kailangan mong iwan ang ID mo rito,” paalala ng guard habang inaabot ang visitor’s pass.

“Salamat, boss.”

Inabot ko ang aking student ID, kinuha ang pass, at mabilis na ipinasok ang kotse sa loob nang bumukas ang gate.

Gaya ng inaasahan ko, malawak at tahimik ang subdivision ngayong gabi. Malalaking mansyon ang nadadaanan ko, magaganda ang arkitektura, at nababalot ng mamahaling streetlights ang bawat kanto.

Normal lang na tanawin ito para sa akin, kaya hindi ako nag-abalang humanga.

Ang paningin ko ay nakatutok lang sa mga signage sa kalsada. Phase 1… dumaan ako sa isang mahabang tulay… hanggang sa marating ko ang Phase 2.

Block 14, Lot 8…

Nang matagpuan ko ang tapat ng bahay, itinigil ko ang kotse ko sa gilid at pinatayan ng makina. Kulay puti at gray ang dalawang palapag na modernong bahay. May maayos na landscape garden sa harap at saradong garahe.

Walang ibang kotse sa labas, at mukhang sarado ang lahat ng mga bintana. Walang senyales na may tao sa loob.

Bumaba ako ng kotse, isinara ang pinto nang malakas, at lumapit sa gate bago pumindot sa doorbell.

I gritted my teeth. Parang walang tao sa bahay nila ngayon! I fucking wasted my time.

Pumindot ako ulit, mas matagal sa unang pagkakataon.

“Vince?! Nandiyan ka ba?!” tawag ko, medyo nilakasan ko na ang boses ko. Bastos kung bastos sa tahimik na subdivision na ’to, pero wala na akong pakialam.

“Tangina naman, Vince! Sumagot ka naman!” Hinarap ko ang gate at hinawakan ang mga bakal nito.

“Nandito ako para sa lit paper natin! Binura ko na ang pangalan mo, pero… pero gago, nandito pa rin ako! Magpaliwanag ka naman kung bakit mo ako blinock!”

Sumigaw ako hanggang sa mapatid ang hininga ko, pero ang tanging sumagot sa akin ay ang malamig na hangin ng gabi. Humilig ang noo ko sa bakal ng gate at mariing ipinikit ang mga mata.

Bakit ba ako nagkakaganto para sa kaniya? Kung iresponsable siya, bakit hindi ko na lang siya hinayaang bumagsak? Bakit kailangan ko pang pumunta rito?

“What are you doing here?”

Napatalon ako sa gulat nang marinig ko ang boses niya at agad na nagmulat ng mga mata.

Mabilis akong lumingon sa likod ko. Akala ko sa loob ng bahay manggagaling ang boses niya, pero nagkamali ako.

Kakababa niya lang pala sa isang sasakyan—isang Grab na huminto sa likod ng kotse ko…

Natigilan siya habang isinusukbit ang kaniyang shoulder bag, ilang hakbang lang ang agwat sa akin. Doon tuluyang rumehistro sa utak ko ang itsura niya. She was wearing our university uniform. Ayos na ayos ang buhok niya, walang kahit anong gulo, at hindi namumula ang mga mata niya. Mukha siyang sariwa, walang bakas ng sakit, at mukhang kalmado.

The blatant shock on his face was visible as ue stared at me, in front of the gate of his house.

I didn’t know what to say first. My hands, which were tightly gripping the steel bars of the gate a second ago, slowly dropped to my sides.

“Anong ginagawa mo rito?” muli niyang tanong, at unti-unti nang lumalamig ang itsura niya.

“Wow…” ang tanging salitang lumabas sa bibig ko. Isang maikli at mapait na tawa ang sumunod doon habang dahan-dahan ko siyang nilalapitan, pilit na binabawi ang lakas ng loob ko pagkatapos niyang magulat. “Ako pa talaga ang tinatanong mo niyan? Ako na nagpuyat mag-isang tapusin ’yung contemporary literature paper natin?”

Hindi siya sumagot. Mas lalo lang tumigas ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya habang humihigpit na ang kapit niya sa kaniyang shoulder bag.

“Buong magdamag akong hindi natulog, Vanessa,” asar kong patuloy, idiniin ko talaga ang pangalan niya habang humahakbang ako papalapit. “Halos sumabog na ang utak ko para lang masiguradong perfect ’yung citations natin. Kaya pala nag-message ka kagabi, kasi alam mong malapit na ang deadline? Pero ang galing, e. Pagkatapos mo akong iwan sa ere, blinock mo ako sa Facebook tapos nag-skip ka ng school ngayong araw!”

Tumingin siya sa paligid ng tahimik nilang kalsada, halatang naiilang sa presensya ko sa harap ng bahay nila bago muling ibinalik ang malamig niyang tingin sa akin.

“Kung pinunta mo lang ako rito para mag-eskandalo, umalis ka na, Tyler,” iritado niyang sabi, sabay lagpas sa akin para simulan nang kalikutin ang susi ng gate nila. “Wala akong obligasyong magpaliwanag sa ’yo.”

“Walang obligasyon?!” Bago pa niya maisusi ang gate ay paspas kong nahawakan ang braso niya, dahilan para mapaharap siya sa akin nang mabilis. “Zero ka na sa major paper natin! Binura ko ang pangalan mo bago ko ipasa kay Ma’am Estiler! At wala akong pakialam kung bumagsak ka, pero ang hindi ko matanggap…”

I licked my lower lip.

“…bakit kailangan mo akong i-block? Ano bang problema mo sa akin?!”

Bumaba ang mga mata niyang namimilog sa kamay kong nakahawak sa braso niya.

The silence that stretched between us was deafening. Nanatili ang tingin niya sa mahigpit kong pagkakahawak, and when she slowly looked up to meet my eyes, unti-unting nawala ang gulat sa mukha niya.

Napalitan iyon ng isang malamig at matalim na sulyap. It was like she was totally disgusted by my touch.

Naramdaman ko ang biglaang pag-igting ng kaniyang braso. “Bitiwan mo ako, Tyler,” mariin at pabulong niyang utos, each syllable dripping with warning.

Doon ko lang narealize kung gaano ko na siya kahigpit na nahahawakan. Mabilis kong binitawan ang braso niya, pero hindi ako dinalaw ng hiya. Inilagay ko ang magkabilang kamay ko sa bulsa ng pants ko just to hide how much they were shaking. I don’t even know why they’re damn shaking!

“I asked you a question,” hamon ko pa rin, pilit na pinapanatili ang tapang sa boses ko kahit ang totoo ay unti-unti na akong nauubusan ng hangin. “Bakit mo ako blinock? Ano, pagkatapos mo—”

“Shouldn’t you be thankful? Ikaw lang ang may grades! And I failed!” dinuro niya ang dibdib ko kaya namilog ang mga mata ko.

The sudden force of his finger against my chest caught me completely off guard. Napapaatras ako nang isang hakbang, pero nanatili siyang nakaturo sa akin, his breathing getting heavier as the fake calmness he had earlier completely dissolved.

“You got exactly what you wanted, Tyler!” dugtong niya, his voice was rising and echoing through the quiet street. “You wanted me out of your sight, right? Gustong-gusto mo na hindi mo ako nakikita, so I gave it to you! I blocked you, I skipped class, and I let you take all the credit!”

Parang may bumara sa lalamunan ko. I stared at him, my tongue suddenly feeling too heavy to form a coherent sentence.

“Kaya huwag mo akong sumbatan tungkol sa puyat mo dahil choice mo ’yan!” he scoffed, an annoyed laugh escaping his lips. “You did it all because your massive pride couldn’t handle the thought of failing a major subject, not because you cared about our partnership. Hindi ba mas madali para sa ’yo na ako lang ang bagsak? At bang ginagawa mo rito?!”

I clenched my fists inside my pockets, my jaw tightening as his words cut straight through my defenses. He was completely flipping the script on me, and what frustrated me the most was that a huge, twisted part of my mind knew he wasn’t entirely wrong.

“You’re wrong—”

“Leave!”

“But—”

“Van?” A voice of a man interrupted.

Natigilan kaming dalawa at sabay na napalingon sa gilid.

May isang lalaking bagong dating, naglalakad papalapit sa amin mula sa dulo ng madilim na kalsada. Kagagaling niya lang sa isang sasakyan na pumarada sa di-kalayuan.

The sports car was so familiar that I remembered that this dude was his boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend because Vince said that they’re not together any longer.

“What’s happening?” tanong nung lalaki habang binibilisan ang lakad papalapit sa amin sa tapat ng gate.

Tumingin ako kay Vince. And he looked frustrated by seeing him.

Seryoso ang itsura nung lalaki habang lumalapit sa amin, tinitingnan ako mula ulo hanggang paa kung sino ako at kung anong ginagawa ko rito ng ganitong oras.

“Didn’t I tell you that we’re not getting back together?” mariing sabi ni Vince.

Bumaba ang tingin niya sa ex niya, ang boses ay puno ng iritasyon at pagod. Halatang ayaw niya na itong makita rito, lalo na sa harap ng bahay niya at sa harap ko. Pero wala siyang choice…

’Yung lalaki, imbes na umurong, ay mas lalong humakbang papalapit kay Vince. Isang mapait at sarkastikong tawa ang pinakawalan niya bago hinarap si Vince nang tuluyan.

“Fuck. So, pagkatapos mong hindi sagutin ang mga tawag ko buong araw at ang pagpunta ko sa school mo na wala ka naman, dito lang pala kita maaabutan? Sa harap ng bahay mo, kasama ang kung sino?” Tumingin siya sa akin, his eyes scanning me with pure annoyance, before turning back to Vince. “Is this why you’re pushing me away, Van? Kasi may pumalit na agad?”

“Shut up, Lance!” Vince snapped, his voice was tight and shaking with frustration. Ang kaninang galit niya sa akin ay parang triple ang naging balik nang hinarap niya ang ex niya. “Wala kang alam, at kaklase ko lang siya. Umalis ka na.”

Lance let out a sharp, mocking breath, shaking his head. “Kaklase? Just a classmate, Van? Kaklase pero nandito sa harap ng bahay mo ng ganitong oras? Ganiyan na ba ka-close ang mga kaklase mo ngayon?”

“That’s none of your business anymore!” Vince yelled back, his hands trembling as he gripped his bag tighter. Halos magbago ang kulay ng mukha niya sa sobrang gigil. “Lance, please. Sobrang gulo na ng araw ko, huwag mo nang dagdagan. Ang usapan natin tapos na, ’di ba? Bakit ba hindi mo matanggap ’yon?”

“Kasi hindi mo ako binigyan ng maayos na dahilan! Bigla ka na lang nakipag-break. Do you really expect me to just sit around and let you throw away everything we had?”

“Because it wasn’t working anymore!” Vince’s voice cracked, sounding completely emotionally drained.

Hindi ko alam kung anong espiritong sumanib sa akin pero agad kong kinuwelyuhan ang lalaki, at walang dalawang pag-iisip na sinuntok ito sa panga.

Ang lakas ng impact ng kamao ko sa panga niya. He stumbled backward, completely caught off guard, halos matumba siya sa semento kung hindi niya lang natukod ang kamay niya sa gilid ng kotse ko.

“Tyler!” Vince gasped, his eyes wide in absolute shock.

Nanginginig ang mga daliri ko, ang sakit ng knuckles ko mula sa impact, pero wala akong naramdamang pagsisisi. I stepped in front of Vince, blockingly putting myself between him and his ex. Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko, at ang dugong umaakyat sa ulo ko ay halos magpadilim ng paningin ko.

“Hindi mo ba narinig? Sinabi niyang umalis ka na,” mariin kong sabi, bawat salita ay galing sa gigil. Ewan ko kung bakit ako nakikialam, pero ang makita si Vince na ganito ka-defensive at parang maiiyak na sa pagod habang dinidikitan ng lalakeng ’to—hindi ko lang talaga matanggap. At hindi pa kami tapos mag-usap!

The fucker slowly touched his jaw, turning his face back toward me. Clear, pure rage washed over his face.

He spat a bit of blood onto the pavement before looking up, his eyes boring holes into mine.

“Sino ka ba sa akala mo?!” he growled, throwing himself forward to hit me back.

Bago pa man dumapo ang kamao niya sa mukha ko, mabilis akong sinalo ng momentum niya.

The asshole lunged forward, charging at me with full force, at bago ko pa naitaas ang mga kamay ko para umilag ay sabay kaming bumagsak sa semento.

The wind was knocked right out of me. Naramdaman ko agad ang sakit sa likod ko habang sinusubukan kong itulak siya palayo, pero bulag na sa galit ang gago. He pinned my shoulders down and managed to land a clean punch straight to my left cheek.

Nanlabo ang paningin ko sa lakas ng tama, at lasang kalawang agad ang loob ng bibig ko.

“Putangina mo! Sino ka ba?!” he roared, raising his fist again.

“Lance, tama na! Stop it!” Vince screamed.

Bago pa muling maitama ng gago ang kamao niya, iginatong ko ang buong lakas ko para mai-twist ang balikat ko. Napagulong ko siya sa gilid at mabilis akong nakapatong sa kaniya. Hindi ko na inisip kung anong itsura ko o kung gaano kasakit ang likod ko at ang suntok na natamo mula sa kaniya; I just balled my fist and struck him right back across his nose.

He fucking groaned loudly, twisting beneath me. And it felt so fucking good to hear him in pain.

“The names Tyler Gregory Sy, dude! Don’t fucking forget that!”

“Tyler, please! Tama na!”

Naramdaman ko ang dalawang kamay na humila sa likod ng varsity jacket ko. It was Vince. Lakas-loob niya kaming pinagitanan, his hands shaking violently as he tried to yank me away from his ex-boyfriend.

“Umalis ka na sa ibabaw niya, Tyler! Ano ba!” pakiusap niya, halos maiyak na sa sobrang stress.

Hingal na hingal akong napaatras, dahan-dahang bumitaw habang nakatitig sa lalaking nakahiga sa semento. He was clutching his nose, his fingers already stained red. I wiped the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand, feeling the sharp sting on my cheek, but the adrenaline rushing through my veins completely numbed the pain.

I stood up, wiping the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand. Mapait dahil sa dugong ang lumalabas sa gilid ng labi ko, pero wala akong pakialam. The adrenaline rushing through my veins made me feel completely invincible.

The fucker was left groaning on the concrete, clutching his broken—duguang ilong habang pilit na bumabangon.

“Putangina…” he wheezed, glaring up at us through his bloody fingers. “You’re dead, you piece of shit. Sinasabi ko sa’yo—”

“I said leave, Lance!” Vince hissed angrily and frustratedly. “Umalis ka na bago ko pa tawagin ang mga subdivision guard! Don’t make me do this to you!”

Humarap siya sa akin at gigil akong tinitigan. “Tyler, let’s go! Sa loob na tayo ng bahay!”

“Fucking hell, Van… Kaklase? Pinagtatanggol mo ang gagong ’to?”

“Shut up and just leave, Lance!” Vince snapped, not even bothering to look back at him.

He grabbed my wrist, his grip surprisingly tight and trembling, and started pulling me toward their gate. “Huwag mo na kaming susundan kung ayaw mong ipakaladkad kita sa mga guards.”

“Hindi pa tayo tapos,” the fucker hissed, his voice was thick and muffled through his broken nose. He turned around, staggered slightly, and practically threw himself into the driver’s seat of his sports car.

The door slammed shut, and within seconds, the engine shrieked to life. The tires tore through the quiet neighborhood street as he sped away, the sound fading into the distance until it was dead silent again.

The moment the car vanished from sight, Vince finally let go of my wrist.

Bitbit pa rin niya ang tindi ng galit at panginginig habang mabilis niyang binubuksan ang gate nila. Pumasok siya sa loob nang hindi man lang ako nililingon, pero hindi niya isinarado ang gate para sa akin.

“Pasok,” seryoso at malamig niyang utos, his back still turned to me as he walked up the porch.

Sumunod ako sa kaniya pumasok nang walang imik. My knuckles were throbbing, and the left side of my face was burning like hell, pero hindi ko magawang magreklamo…

Is he going to aid me inside his house? Dapat lang. Tsk! Siya na nga itong ipinagtanggol, siya pa itong may ganang maging malamig ang trato. Kung hindi dahil sa akin, baka kung ano nang ginawa ng gago niyang ex sa kaniya sa labas.

Chapter 7

The sheer scale of the place caught me completely off guard as soon as we entered the house. The high ceilings, the minimalist yet expensive architecture, and the polished marble floors—everything about his house screamed luxury.

“Maupo ka muna riyan sa sofa,” utos niya sa akin nang hindi ako nililingon.

I wanted to savor the moment of looking at the interior of his home, but the throbbing pain in my face pulled me back to reality.

Padabog akong naupo sa malambot at mamahaling sofa nila. Sumabog ang sakit sa likod ko nang sumandal ako, kaya napapikit ako nang mariin habang hinahawakan ang duguang gilid ng aking labi.

“Fuck…”

Tangina. Ang lakas din naman talagang sumuntok ng gagong ’yon, ah?

Naramdaman ko ang mabilis na pagtibok ng pasa sa mukha ko, bawat pintig ay tila nagpapaalala kung gaano katindi ang salpukan namin kanina. Dinilaan ko ang loob ng pisngi ko at nalasahan muli ang dugo.

Kung masakit ang mukha ko, siguradong mas lasog ang mukha ng lalakeng ’yon pagkatapos ng huling suntok ko. Naalala ko ang tunog ng pagkabali ng ilong niya at bahagyang napangisi ako sa isip ko.

Maya-maya pa, narinig ko na ang pabalik na mga yabag niya papalapit.

Pagdilat ko, bitbit na ni Vince ang isang maliit na first aid kit at isang ice pack na nakabalot sa malinis na bimpo.

Huminto siya sa mismong tapat ko, tinititigan ang namamaga kong pisngi at ang mga gasgas sa aking knuckles gamit ang magkahalong inis at pag-aalala.

Nasa gilid na ng mga tainga niya ang kaniyang buhok, showing his big ears adorned with pearl earrings.

Umawang ang bibig ko. He looked so damn… fuck! I couldn’t even bring myself to say it!

Hindi ako bakla. Tangina! He might be pretty, but I am definitely not gay!

Naramdaman ko ang biglang pag-init ng mukha ko, at sigurado akong hindi lang iyon dahil sa pasa ko.

Agad kong iniwas ang tingin ko, pilit na ibinabalik ang yabang ko para lang itago ang kabaliwang bigla kong naramdaman. It’s just the adrenaline talking.

O baka naman nahilo lang ako sa suntok ng gagong ex boyfriend niya kaya kung ano-ano na ang napapansin ko sa mukha ng kasama ko…

Oo, ’yon!

“Ipinasok mo pa talaga ang sarili mo sa gulo,” mariin at mababa niyang sabi.

“Sinasabihan mo ba ako o pinagagalitan?” asik ko, ignoring the way my heart hammered against my ribs when he leaned in even closer, bringing the scent of his expensive sweet perfume right into my space.

In my peripheral vision, he slightly shook his head as he scanned me from head to toe.

He heaved a deep sigh, ignoring my question. “Ikaw na gumamot sa sarili mo,” malamig niyang sabi, sabay bitaw sa bulak na hawak niya at walang gana na ibinaba ang tweezers sa loob ng kit.

Natigilan ako kaya napatingin ako sa kaniya. Lalong kumunot ang noo ko sa biglang pagbabago ng mood niya. Niligtas ko na nga siya, tapos gaganituhin niya lang ako?!

“What?!” singhal ko, sandaling nakalimutan ang sakit ng mukha ko. “Iniwan mo ’ko rito para lang sabihan niyan? Pagkatapos kitang ipagtanggol sa labas, kahit itong simpleng paggamot lang, hindi mo magawa?”

He didn’t answer right away. The wonder on his face got me completely frozen in my seat. Ang taray at lamig ng mga mata niya kanina ay biglang napalitan ng kung anong emosyon na hindi ko mabasa. It was like he was genuinely shocked that I was actually demanding his care, or maybe he was just processing the audacity of my presence in his living room.

“Hindi ko naman sinabing pumunta ka rito at makipagsuntukan,” sa wakas ay sabi niya bago humalukipkip.

“Is he the reason why you didn’t go to school today? I heard what he said—”

“That’s none of your business—”

“Then why didn’t you come to school?” bumaba ang mga mata ko sa uniform niya. “Clearly, you skipped—”

“Umuwi ka na lang kaya at doon mo na lang gamutin ang sarili mo? You’re wasting my time!” asik niya bigla, ang boses niya ay bahagyang tumaas habang lalong humihigpit ang pagkakahalukipkip ng mga braso niya.

It was obvious I hit a nerve, and his sudden defensiveness only proved I was right.

“Wasting your time?” I scoffed. “I came here to talk to you about our lit project at habang nandoon ako, biglang sumulpot ang gagong ’yon sa labas ng gate niyo. I was already there when everything went down, Vince. At ako pa ngayon ang nag-aaksaya ng oras?”

His jaw dropped. Litong-lito ang mukha niya habang tinitingnan ako.

“Ayos lang naman sa akin na mag-fail? And besides, nasabi mo naman na sigurado kay—”

“Tomorrow pa ang deadline,” I reminded him, cutting him off before he could make any more excuses.

Napakurap siya, totally caught off guard by how serious I was about this. For someone who usually didn’t care about school, look at me now—arguing about a deadline.

“And you didn’t answer my question why you blocked me—”

“I didn’t. It was…” nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. The words trailed off, hanging heavily in the space between us.

His eyes widened slightly, realization and a flicker of panic washing over his face before he could mask it.

Tumikhim siya. “He blocked you,”

Umingos ulit ako. “Your ex? Damn! You let him use you Facebook—”

Bigla siyang nairita. “It’s not like you haven’t done that—”

“Never had! Tangina! Wala na ’yon privacy!” asik ko, physically throwing my hands up in frustration before immediately regretting the sudden movement as my back flared in pain.

I winced, pressing a hand back against my sore side, but my glare remained locked on him. Galit ako at hindi ko matanggap!

“I never give my exes access to my accounts!” patuloy ko, ang boses ko ay ramdam ang matinding pagkadismaya. “Because that’s basic respect for yourself! Tapos ikaw, hinahayaan mo lang na kontrolin niya ang buhay mo?”

“You don’t know anything about us, Tyler, kaya huwag mo akong pangaralan na parang alam mo ang lahat!” bulyaw niya pabalik, his breathing becoming shallow.

“Sinasabi ko lang naman na bakit mo ibinigay—”

“Because that’s how give and take in a relationship should be? At hindi naman lahat tulad mo na madaling magtiwala o mag-isip nang ganyan!”

Umikot ang mga mata ko at sumandal sa backrest ng sofa nila, kahit na gumuhit na naman ang matinding kirot sa likod ko. Pilit kong tiniis ang sakit, dismissing his twisted logic with a heavy, frustrated snort.

“Give and take? Tangina, Vince, toxic control ang tawag doon, hindi give and take,” bulong ko, staring up at the high ceiling of their living room dahil kung titingnan ko pa ang mukha niya, baka tuluyan lang akong mairita sa katangahan niya pagdating sa pag-ibig. “You’re just making up excuses for him.”

Narinig ko ang marahas niyang pagbuntong-hininga. When I glanced back at him, he was still standing there, hands tightly clenched by his sides. His lower lip was trembling slightly, and that fierce, defensive look in his eyes was starting to look more like desperate exhaustion.

“You can go home, you know? I don’t need unsolicited advice from you. What would a playboy know about commitment anyway?”

“Playboy?” I chuckled. “Oo, marami akong nagiging babae, Vince. Pero kahit kailan, hindi ko hinayaang tapakan o kontrolin ng kahit sino ang pagkatao ko sa ngalan ng tanginang commitment na ’yan.”

“Mas mabuti nang maging playboy kesa maging martir sa taong walang ibang ginawa kundi saktan ka,” dagdag ko at ngumisi sa kaniya.

“You really are a bum…” he whispered, ang boses niya ay halos hindi marinig, puno ng matinding pagkadismaya at pagod.

Nawala ang ngisi sa labi ko. My jaw tightened at his words, but before I could fire back another retort, he suddenly moved.

Halos manigas ako sa kinauupuan ko nang idinikit niya ang ice pack sa gilid ng panga ko.

The sudden, freezing contact made me gasp, but the sharp protest died in my throat the moment I looked up. He was leaning over me again, his expensive, sweet perfume completely invading my senses.

His touch was surprisingly gentle and careful. Ang maiikli at tila malalambot niyang daliri ay maingat na nakahawak sa ice pack, holding it steady against my skin while his gaze focused entirely on my bruised face.

Nanuyot ang lalamunan ko habang tinitingnan ko ang mukha niya, habang siya naman ay nakatuon lang ang atensyon sa duguan kong labi. He dabs the ice with extreme caution, as if any wrong move would break me completely.

I almost jumped out of the sofa when he suddenly spoke.

“I heard a lot of things about you,” he murmured.

Hindi siya tumitingin sa mga mata ko; nananatili lang ang paningin niya sa sugat ko habang marahan pa ring idinadampi ang ice pack.

“Na ano?” I managed to ask, my voice sounding rougher than I intended. Sinubukan kong ibalik ang pamilyar kong mapaglarong tono, pero bigo ako. Damn!

“Na wala kang sineseryoso,” he answered softly. “Na mabilis kang magsawa. Na kapag nakuha mo na ang gusto mo, nang-iiwan ka na lang bigla.”

Finally, tumaas na ang tingin niya mula sa labi ko patungo sa mga mata ko.

“Those were just rumors, Vince,” I muttered, my heart doing a dangerous flip under his intense gaze. Pilit kong pinatatag ang boses ko kahit na ang lapit-lapit niya pa rin. “Huwag mong paniwalaan ang lahat ng naririnig mo—”

“Rumors always start somewhere, Tyler. Haven’t you felt truly in love?” tinaasan niya ako ng kilay.

Natahimik ako at biglang napaisip. Have I felt in love with my exes before?

The question caught me completely off guard, stripping away whatever witty comeback I was trying to formulate. I stared at him, my mind suddenly racing back through the faces of the girls I’d dated, the late-night chats, the casual hangouts, and the quick breakups.

“Bakit bigla kang natahimik?” dagdag niya, a small, knowing smirk playing on his lips, though his eyes remained soft. “See? You can’t even answer.”

“Hindi sa ganoon,” I cleared my throat, forcing my voice to steady as I looked directly into his eyes. “Seryoso ako kapag kasama ko sila. Pero kung ang tinatanong mo ay ’yung pagmamahal na handang magpakatanga at magpa-kontrol gaya ng ginagawa mo? Then no. Hindi ko pa nararamdaman ’yon. At ayaw kong maramdaman ’yon.”

“Really? Seryoso?” mahina siyang natawa habang naiiling. “You have cheated on your past exes—”

“I was young back then—”

“Still! You cheated! That’s not how love works—”

“Your fucking ex cheated on you and you’re still putting up with that?!” bulyaw ko pabalik, my voice exploding in the quiet living room.

The words left my mouth before I could filter them, sharp and laced with all the pent-up frustration I’d been holding in. But I didn’t regret saying those words!

Ang buong akala ko ay magagalit siya pero tumango siya sa akin.

“That’s why I broke up with him. I won’t give him another chance,” bulong niya, looking straight into my eyes with calmness.

Nalaglag ang panga ko. The anger that was surging through me just a second ago evaporated, leaving behind a hollow, stunned silence.

“Kaya huwag mo akong itulad sa kaniya, Tyler. At huwag mo akong itulad sa ’yo,” patuloy niya, binitawan na nang tuluyan ang ice pack sa kandungan ko. He stepped back, creating a cold, empty distance between us that immediately made me want to reach out. “Pinalampas ko ang maraming bagay—ang pagiging manipulative niya, ang pagseselos niya sa maliit na bagay, at ang pag-block niya sa ’yo. Though, I already changed my password on my social media accounts, but somehow, he still has access to it…”

He looked confused and a bit alarmed before his eyes went to me.

“I was trying to save what was left of my dignity, hindi ang relasyon namin,” he added. “Kaya hindi ko siya pinapatawad. At hinding-hindi ko siya babalikan.”

“Pinalitan mo ang password pero hindi mo ni-log out sa lahat ng devices?” tanong ko, seryoso na ang tono ko ngayon habang nakatingin sa kaniya. “O baka naman naka-link ang email niya sa account mo bilang recovery? O may access siya sa Gmail mo?”

He blinked, looking completely caught off guard, as if that possibility hadn’t even crossed his mind. Ang maiikli niyang daliri ay bahagyang kumurba sa gilid ng suot niyang short habang tila pabalik-balik ang takbo ng isip niya sa mga detalye ng accounts niya.

“Hindi ko… hindi ko naisip ’yon,” pag-amin niya. “I just… I just changed the password on the app and thought that was enough.”

“Give me your phone then,” inilahad ko ang kamay ko.

He hesitated for a second, staring at my open palm as if debating whether he could actually trust me.

“Why? Ako na lang!”

“I’ll help you, then,” tinapik ko ang espasyo ng sofa para maupo siya sa tabi ko.

Tinitigan niya muna ang kamay ko, tapos ang mukha ko, na tila binabasa kung may masama ba akong balak. Puno pa rin ng pag-aalinlangan ang mga mata niya, pero dahil siguro napansin niya na seryoso ako at na matapos na, napabuntong-hininga siya.

Dahan-dahan siyang lumapit at umupo sa tabi ko, bagaman may kaunting distansya pa ring naiwan sa pagitan naming dalawa. Ibinigay niya sa akin ang phone niya habang nakatingin lang sa screen.

“O, i-unlock mo,” sabi ko, itinatapat ang phone sa harap niya. “Ipakita mo sa akin kung nasaan ang settings ng account mo para matanggal natin ang logged-in devices ng gago.”

Sumunod siya sa akin.

Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita ang wallpaper niya, na isang lalaki at mukhang Chinese. Sandali akong natigilan, at bago ko pa mapigilan ang sarili ko ay lumabas na ang tanong sa bibig ko.

“Sino ’to? Bago mo?” tanong ko, medyo may bahid ng asim sa tono ko habang nakatitig sa screen. Kung ito ang lalaking ang kinikita niya ngayon, tangina, mas guwapo pa ako rito nang bilyong beses kahit may pasa ako sa mukha ngayon.

“Hindi, baliw!” natatawa niyang sagot. “K-Idol ’yan! Sikat na member ng boy group ’yan, anong bago ka riyan!”

I glared at him. Sa dinami-rami ng iisipin ko, nakuha ko pang ma-insecure sa wallpaper ng isang K-pop star. Nilagpasan ko ang pang-aasar niya at ibinalik ang pokus sa hawak kong phone.

“Don’t you know him? He’s a member of ENHYPEN,” patuloy niya, mukhang proud na proud pa habang tinitingnan ang screen sa kamay ko.

“Malay ko ba sa mga ’yan,”

“He’s Jungwon,” pagpapakilala niya sa lalaking wallpaper ng phone niya, may kasama pang bahagyang pag-irap at maliit na ngiti na tila hindi makapaniwalang wala talaga akong alam sa mundong ginagalawan niya.

“The leader of the group. Kaya huwag mo siyang matulad-tulad sa ex ko dahil napakabait niyan.”

“Leader o hindi, wala akong pakialam,” sabi ko na lang habang mabilis na pini-navigate ang mga tabs sa loob ng account settings niya para hindi niya mahalata ang pagka-asiwa ko.

Iniharap ko sa kaniya ang screen, ipinapakita ang listahan ng mga active sessions sa ilalim ng security settings.

“Look,” itinapat ko ang screen sa mukha niya, ang dulo ng hintuturo ko ay nakaturo sa isang partikular na linya. “May active session pa rito. Isang Windows PC, isang iPhone 15 pro max, at 14 pro max. Sayo ba ’tong mga ’to?”

“The iPhone 14 is mine,” he whispered, his brows knitting together in instant realization. “But the Windows PC… hindi sa akin ’yan. Mac ang gamit ko sa kwarto at iPad.”

“You get me now,” I said, my voice hardening. “Ibig sabihin, kahit pinalitan mo ang password, naka-save pa rin ang session ng gago mong ex dito. All he has to do is open his browser, at pasok pa rin siya sa account mo nang hindi humihingi ng bagong password.”

“Kaya pala…” biglang lumambot ang boses niya, tila unti-unting nagpapasukan ang lahat ng piraso ng puzzle sa utak niya. “Kaya pala alam niya kung sino-sino ang mga huli kong ka-chat…”

“Hindi lang ’yon,” pinindot ko ang ‘Log Out All Sessions’ button nang walang pag-aalinlangan. Isang click lang, tapos. “Ngayon, wala na siya. Pero hindi pa tayo tapos. Kailangan nating tingnan ang linked accounts at recovery email mo. Doon tayo sa Gmail mo, dahil siguradong may back door na iniwan ’yon.”

I opened his mail app, and sure enough, my suspicions were right on the money.

“See this?” I pointed at the recovery settings. “Naka-link pa rin ang email ng gago rito bilang recovery email mo. Kaya kahit anong palit mo ng password, kapag pinindot niya ang ‘Forgot Password’, sa kaniya pa rin magse-send ang verification code.”

“Alisin mo lahat, Tyler. I don’t want any trace of him left on my phone.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” I muttered.

With a few quick taps, I completely removed the ex’s email, changed the recovery info to his own secondary account, and forced a complete log-out on every single browser history saved. When the screen finally refreshed, showing a clean, secured account, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“Ayan. Selyado na. Kahit umiyak siya ng dugo, hindi na siya makakapasok dito,” sabi ko habang ibinabalik sa kaniya ang phone.

He took it, his gaze dropping to the screen, then slowly up to my face.

“Thank you,” he said softly, his voice sincere. “At… sorry.”

Napakunot ang noo ko, bahagyang nailang sa biglang paglambot ng timpla niya. “Sorry para saan?”

“For wanting not to talk to you?”

I snorted. “Don’t mention it,”

Muling dumako ang mga mata niya sa labi ko. “Let me finish,”

Dahan-dahan niyang itinaas ang kamay niya, at bago pa ako makagalaw, naramdaman ko ang dulo ng maiikli at malalambot niyang daliri na marahang dinala ang ice pack pabalik sa labi ko.

“Hindi lang naman ’yon ang gusto kong ihingi ng sorry,” patuloy niya. “Sorry dahil nadamay ka pa sa gulo namin. At sorry kung… kung nasungitan kita nang husto kanina. You didn’t deserve that, lalo na’t ipinagtanggol mo ako.”

“I’d do it again—Aw!”

Napangiwi ako nang idiin niya nang kaunti ang ice pack sa gilid ng labi ko. Napahawak ako sa braso niya para pigilan ang paggalaw niya, pero imbes na itulak siya palayo, mas lalo lang akong napalapit sa kaniya.

“Hindi mo na nga dapat siya sinuntok, eh! I don’t know what’s gotten into you!”

“Gago siya, e. Sinigawan ka na, hinawakan ka pa nang marahas,” depensa ko, my jaw tightening at the memory. Hindi ko pinakawalan ang braso niya; mas hinigpitan ko pa ang hawak ko roon, feeling the soft warmth of his skin. “Ano’ng gusto mong gawin ko? Panoorin lang kayo roon?”

“Kahit na!” bulyaw niya nang mahina, matigas na tumitig sa akin. “Tyler, hindi mo naman ako responsibilidad. We’re not even… we’re not even that close! Pwede ka namang umalis na lang at umuwi, pero nakipagsuntukan ka talaga.”

“Can we stop talking about this?” iritado kong pakiusap. “Let’s talk about our lit project na lang. Iyon naman talaga ang pinunta ko rito, ’di ba?”

Dahan-dahan niyang ibinaba ang hawak niyang ice pack at lumayo nang kaunti, binasag ang distansyang halos magpadikit na sa aming dalawa.

“O-Oo nga pala,” nauutal niyang panimula, pilit inaayos ang upo at pinapagpagan ang sariling skirt kahit wala namang dumi roon.

Tumingin siya sa akin, ang mga mata ay may halong pag-aalinlangan habang dahan-dahang binubuksan ang iPad. “But didn’t you say you removed my name?” untag niya, ipinapaalala ang naging sagutan namin bago mangyari ang gulo sa labas.

Sandali akong natigilan bago napakamot sa panga, biglang nakaramdam ng kaunting hiya. Naalala ko nga na bago kami dinala ng ex niya sa ganitong sitwasyon, nagkaasaran kami at binalaan ko siyang itatanggal ko ang pangalan niya sa project kung magpapatuloy siya sa pagsusungit sa akin.

“Sinabi ko lang naman ’yon dahil bini-buwisit mo ako kanina,”

Iniharap ko nang bahagya ang screen sa kaniya. Doon sa document, malinaw pa ring nakasulat ang pangalan niya sa tabi ng sa akin.

Huminga ako nang malalim. I did remove his name, but before the class ended, I couldn’t actually bring myself to leave it that way. Kaya bago ko isinara ang laptop ko kanina, ibinalik ko rin agad.

Pakitang-tao lang naman ang pagmamatigas ko dahil sa inis ko sa kaniya, pero sa huli, hindi ko pa rin kayang maging ganoon… kagago… sa kaniya.

Chapter 8

Natahimik ang buong paligid. Ang tunog lang ng aircon at ang marahang paghinga naming dalawa ang naririnig sa loob ng sala. Tinitigan ko siya, pinapanood kung paano dahan-dahang lumambot ang mukha niya habang nakatingin sa screen.

Bago ko pa man mapigilan ang sarili, lumabas na ang tanong sa bibig ko.

“I just want to know if… do you still like me?”

Fuck, Tyler! Really?!

The question hung heavily between us. Napatingin ako sa kaniya, hinahabol ang mga mata niya para makita kung ano ang reaksyon niya. I wanted to be playful about it, but he knew that it irks me! Of him liking me back then when we were still kids!

Gusto kong bawiin agad. Gusto kong tumawa at sabihing nagbibiro lang ako para lang mabasag ang nakatutulig na katahimikan sa sala.

Dahil sa totoo lang, simula bata pa kami, asar-talo na ako tuwing tinutukso ako sa kaniya—noong mga panahon na palihim niya akong sinusundan at lantaran niyang sinasabi sa lahat na gusto niya ako.

Pilit ko ’yong inirereklamo noon, pilit kong ipinagtatabuyan!

Pero ngayon? Bakit mukhang ako pa ang nagmamakaawa na… sabihin… niyang gusto niya pa rin ako?

Dahan-dahan niyang ibinaling ang tingin sa akin, ang mga mata niya ay bahagyang nanlaki sa gulat sa biglaang tanong ko.

“What?” he looked shocked and almost wanting to laugh based on how he twisted his pinkish plump lips.

“Seryoso ka ba sa itinatanong mo, Tyler? Akala ko ba… akala ko ba diring-diri ka tuwing naaalala mo ’yon?”

Napalunok ako, biglang nakaramdam ng matinding inis para sa sarili.

“Tinatanong ko lang naman, masama ba? Sinasagot lang ng oo o hindi, pinapahaba mo pa, eh.”

Kumawala na ang hagikhik niya kaya umigting ang panga ko.

“Seriously, Tyler? I don’t like you that way anymore! Oo, noong mga bata pa tayo, gusto kita. That’s just a mere crush!”

Ang tawa niya ay tuluyang sumabog sa loob ng sala, at bawat hagikhik na lumalabas sa bibig niya. Ramdam ko ang mabilis na pag-akyat ng dugo sa mukha ko habang pinapanood siyang tumatawa sa mismong harapan ko.

Tangina. Seryosong-seryoso ako rito, tapos gagawin niya lang akong katatawanan?!

“But you did like me—”

“I did? Back then,” he shrugged his shoulders. “Kalimutan mo na nga ’yan? I heard that they made fun of you just because a gay person was showing interest in you.”

“Yeah, that got me so riled up.”

“That’s why you’re so uncomfortable with me now, aren’t you?”

Napatitig ako sa kaniya, sandaling nawalan ng sasabihin. His small smile didn’t reach his eyes. Umigting ang panga ko habang pilit kong hinuhukay ang tamang mga salita sa utak ko…

“Hindi ako naiilang sa ’yo dahil doon,” seryoso kong sagot, my voice dropping lower to make sure he heard every single word. “Naiilang ako dahil…”

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin, napakamot sa batok dahil ramdam ko na naman ang unti-unting pag-init ng sarili kong mukha. Tangina. Kung noong bata kami ay galit at inis ang nararamdaman ko, ngayon ay ibang-iba na.

“Dahil ano?”

“I’m a straight man, you know?”

“I know that. Naging crush lang naman kita noon, ah?”

“’Yon, that’s why I’m uncomfortable. I don’t wanna be linked with… you,” tumikhim ako, hindi makatingin nang diretso sa kaniya. “I still don’t know how to address you.”

“I apologize for being rude to you—”

“No need for your apology. I get it. I understand where you are coming from,” he shrugged.

Ang dahan-dahang pagbaba ng mga balikat niya ay kasabay ng muling paglamig ng kaniyang ekspresyon. Umayos siya ng upo, kinuha ang ice pack mula sa kaniyang kandungan at maingat na ibinalik iyon sa loob ng first aid kit na tila ba tapos na ang usapan.

The brief warmth from earlier was completely gone, replaced by that untouchable, formal distance.

Tumingin siya sa akin at ngumiti. “Did I traumatize you back then? That it haunts you the moment you figured out it was me you were looking at during enrollment?”

Fucking shit! So he knew. Alam niyang nandoon ako noong enrollment, at alam niyang tinititigan ko siya noon pa lang nang hindi ko pa napagtatanto kung sino talaga siya.

“Huwag kang mag-alala,” patuloy niya, his smile remaining calm but completely detached. “Hindi ko naman plano na guluhin ulit ang buhay mo o ipaalala sa lahat ang nakaraan natin. Pwede mo na akong i-address kung paano mo gusto—as a groupmate, as a classmate or even as a boy. Hindi ko na ipagpipilitan ang sarili ko na tanggapin mo kung ano ako ngayon,”

I cleared my throat. “Well, I was… kind of homophobic toward—”

“I know, and I don’t really give a fuck anymore. Sanay naman na ako,” pagputol niya sa akin, completely catching me off guard with the sudden drop of his usual prim and proper demeanor.

He didn’t say it in an angry tone, but the sheer flatness of his voice made it sound infinitely worse. Parang pagod na siyang pag-usapan, parang gasgas na sa kaniya ang marinig ang ganoong klaseng dahilan mula sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kaniya.

“Naiintindihan ko naman, Tyler. Elementary pa lang tayo noon, and kids can be cruel when they don’t understand things,” patuloy niya.

“I didn’t even know why I liked you, siguro dahil guwapo ka?” Tumawa siya at napailing.

I pursed my lips tight. Guwapo naman talaga ako, eh?

“Guwapo ka rin naman noon, ah?” I smirked. Though, it was a lie. He didn’t look handsome back then. He looked… hella pretty. Fuck.

His eyes widened slightly, staring at me as if I had just spoken in a foreign language. Ang dahan-dahang pagbaba ng sulok ng labi niya ay nagpahiwatig ng matinding kalituhan.

Pinagmasdan ko ang mukha niya. The light of the living room hit the sharp contours of his face, making his pinkish plump lips look softer, almost inviting. Damn it. Umigting ang panga ko sa sariling naiisip.

“Is that an insult?” he rolled his eyes at me.

“Mukha ba akong nang-iinsulto?” seryoso kong tanong.

Inirapan niya ako bago siya tumayo. “Let’s—”

Hindi niya natapos ang kaniyang sasabihin nang biglang bumukas ang garage door. Ang ingay ng bumubukas na bakal na pinto ay ang nagpa tahimik sa aming dalawa.

Fuck! His family are here!

Ang pamilyar na tunog ng makina ng sasakyan ay tuluyang pumatay sa anumang natitirang ingay sa loob ng sala. Kasunod nun ay ang lagutok ng pagsasara ng pinto ng kotse sa labas.

Binalingan niya ako, he looked confused whether he’d let me stay o palalabasin na mabilis sa front door at umalis na ako.

He was torn. Alam kong ayaw niyang makita ako ng pamilya niya na ganito ang itsura—gulo-gulo ang buhok, may pasa sa mukha, at halatang galing sa gulo habang nasa loob ng pamamahay nila.

“Tyler, sa kitchen—” he whispered frantically, his hand moving to point at the hallway, but he stopped mid-air when the sound of heavy footsteps echoed right outside the back door.

Too late…

The door handled jingled.

Umigting ang panga ko at tumayo na rin. There was nowhere left to run, and frankly, I didn’t want to. Tumingin ako nang mariin sa kaniya, completely unbothered by my ruined appearance or the heavy steps coming from the back entrance.

“Vanessa? Anak?” A woman’s soft, warm voice echoed from the hallway, preceding her entrance into the spacious living area.

“Mommy,” he answered, his voice smooth, completely devoid of the frantic tone he used with me just seconds ago. Tss…

Isang eleganteng babae ang tuluyang pumasok sa sala. She had a kind, welcoming face, but the moment her eyes swept the room, her gentle expression vanished. Her gaze went from the open first aid kit on the glass table, to Vince, and finally, her eyes locked onto me.

Napaawang ang labi ng kaniyang ina. Her eyes widened in pure, unadulterated shock as she took in my ruined appearance—ang gulo-gulo kong buhok, ang pumupintig na pasa sa aking panga, at ang kabuuang itsura kong halatang kakagaling lang sa madugong rambol.

“Oh my goodness…” she gasped softly, pressing a hand against her chest. Nabitawan niya ang hawak niyang paper bag sa ibabaw ng pinakamalapit na silya.

“Who is he? Is he—”

“Kaklase ko, Mom—”

“What happened?! Why is he—”

“He’s alright—”

“Vanessa!” pinal na saway ng kaniyang ina, her voice dropping into a tone that brooked no arguments.

“What’s happening?” a man’s voice followed, deep, heavy, and commanding.

Umigting ang panga ko. My chest tightened as I shifted my gaze toward the hallway. A tall, impeccably dressed man stepped into the warm light of the living room.

He carried the kind of powerful, untouchable aura that demanded respect without saying a single word.

Contrary to Vince’s exceptionally soft, breathtakingly… pretty… features, this man had hard, ruggedly sharp lines on his face—severe and entirely unyielding. His cold, discerning eyes swept the scene, instantly locking onto the open first aid kit, then onto Vince, and finally, settling heavily on me.

Vince completely froze beside me. I could feel the sudden rigidity in his posture. His breath hitched, his long eyelashes fluttering as his eyes widened slightly.

“Dad…”

Ang kaniyang ina ay mabilis na bumaling sa asawa, her expression still deeply troubled. “Hon, look… Vanessa’s schoolmate is hurt. I was just about to tell your child to sit down so we could patch him up properly.”

The man didn’t say a word at first. He stepped closer, the heavy thud of his leather shoes echoing against the floor.

He stopped a few feet away, hands casually resting inside his trouser pockets, looking down at me as if decoding my entire existence from the dark bruises on my face and my ruined appearance.

“Anong nangyari sa kaniya?” it was a question for Vince. Ang boses ng kaniyang ama ay mariin, mababa, at walang emosyon, ngunit bawat salita ay may bigat na kayang magpatahimik sa buong silid.

Naramdaman ko ang marahang pagsakit ng likod ko habang patuloy na nakatayo, ngunit nanatili akong tuwid. Hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko sa kaniya habang hinihintay ang magiging sagot ni Vince.

“He… he got into a fight, Dad,” Vince answered politely. He was back to his perfectly poised self. “Hinatid niya lang ako rito, pero napansin kong nahihirapan siyang kumilos kaya tinulungan ko lang po gamitin ang first aid kit.”

Tumingin muli ang kaniyang ama sa akin, mas mapanuri ngayon. His eyes traveled from the swelling on my jaw down to my hands, which were tightly clenched at my sides. He didn’t look angry; he looked like a man who was reading right through my pride, measuring what kind of guy was standing in his living room looking like a complete mess.

“A fight,” pag-uulit ng kaniyang ama. “At sa tingin mo ba ay ligtas kang nakauwi habang ang kasama mo ay halos hindi na maigalaw ang katawan sa bugbog?”

“Hon, tama na muna ang pagtatanong,” saway ng kaniyang ina, gently stepping in between us. “Paupuin muna natin ang bata. Look at him, he’s in pain.”

“I’m perfectly fine, Sir, Ma’am,” seryoso kong sabi, managing a tight but respectful nod. “Gabi na rin po, kaya mauuna na ako—”

“No! Dito ka na mag-dinner,” tumingin siya sa kaniyang anak.

The abrupt declaration from his mother made me feel… happy. Napatingin ako sa kaniya, completely taken aback by her sudden hospitality despite my rugged, bloodied appearance.

Tumikhim si Vince. I watched as his throat bobbed, his fingers subtly twitching against his side as he tried to find his voice.

“S-Si Tyler po, Mom. Uh, kaklase ko po noon nung… elementary ako—”

“Elementary?” ang kaniyang ama. He pulled his hands out of his trouser pockets, crossing them over his broad chest. His eyes shifted from Vince to me, narrowing slightly as if calculating the years and the history between us. “Ang alam ko, lumipat ka ng paaralan after 6th grade. That was years ago.”

“Yes, Dad…” ngumuso siya bago tumingin pabalik sa Mommy niya.

“S-Siya po ’yung c-c-crush ko noon—”

“Oh my goodness!” Napaawang ang labi ng kaniyang ina. Her eyes widened in pure shock, her hand automatically coming up to cover her mouth.

“Siya… siya ba ’yung Tyler na laging iniiyakan mo noon kapag hindi ka binibigyan ng pansin?”

“Mom!” Vince gasped, his voice cracking in sheer mortification. He looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole.

Samantalang ang kaniyang ama ay hindi gumalaw. His broad chest rose and fell slowly as he kept his arms crossed, his piercing eyes shifting from his blushing son back to my frozen face.

“Crush?” matigas na pag-uulit ng kaniyang ama, ang boses ay bumasag sa hangin tulad ng isang babala.

“Hon, look…” bawi ng kaniyang ina, though the shock hadn’t fully left her eyes. She quickly composed herself, looking at me with a newfound intensity. “Naalala ko na siya. Siya nga ’yon. But look at him now… he’s all grown up, and he’s completely hurt.”

Hindi ko magawang sumagot agad dahil nagsalita ang kaniyang ama habang naniningkit ang mga mata nito.

“Are you the son of Yuane and Tycen Sy?”

“Yes, Sir,” tumango ako at tipid na ngumiti.

“Tycen Sy,” pag-uulit ng kaniyang ama, a dark, humorless smirk briefly ghosting his lips before vanishing. He stepped closer, his heavy leather shoes echoing with absolute authority. “Your father is a ruthless man in the business circle, young man. At kung hindi ako nagkakamali… ang pamilya niyo ang may-ari ng pinakamalaking shipping lines sa bansa.”

Hinampas ng kaniyang asawa ang kaniyang braso. “Can you stop with the interrogation? Ang bata ay sugatan at halatang pagod na, tapos ayan agad ang sasalubungin mo sa kaniya?” seryosong saway ng kaniyang asawa, her gentle face tightening with a flash of annoyance toward her husband.

Lumingon siya sa akin at muling lumambot ang kaniyang ekspresyon. “Pasensya ka na sa tito mo, hijo. Ganyan lang talaga ’yan pagdating sa negosyo. Halika na rito sa sala, maupo ka muna habang pinapahanda ko ang hapunan natin.”

“Mom—”

“I’m sure, you remember us? During parents day at school…” patuloy ng kaniyang ina, her eyes shining with genuine fondness as she looked at me. “Lagi kang tinuturo sa amin ni Vanessa noon. You were always at the top of your class, and you’re good at basketball and my daughter wouldn’t stop talking about you.”

“Mom, please…” pakiusap ni Vince, his voice dropping into a breathless, embarrassed whisper. The fierce crimson on his cheeks spread down to his neck.

I could see how his fingers gripped the fabric of his skirt, completely overwhelmed by his mother’s sudden trip down memory lane.

“Invite his family then if you want him to stay over dinner,” ingos ng kaniyang ama, the words dripping with cruel, calculative authority as he turned on his heel.

I tried to recall the moments I had seen and talked to his parents. Sa totoo lang, madalas ko silang makita noon tuwing parents’ day, lalo na ang kaniyang ina na palaging maasikaso at marahan kung kumilos sa tabi ni Vince. But his father… it was a different story. Hindi ko siya madalas makausap, pero sapat na ang ilang beses na nagkatatama ang mga mata namin noon para malaman kong hindi siya basta-bastang tao. He was a man who looked at everything as a transaction, an investment, or a threat.

At sa tuwing tinitingnan niya ako noon sa paaralan, may malamig na pag-analisa sa kaniyang mga mata—tila ba sinusukat na niya kung anong klaseng pamilya ang pinanggalingan ko bago pa man niya nalaman ang pangalan ko ngayon.

May iilang pagkakataon din noong bata pa kami kung saan nakita kong nagkausap ang mga magulang ko at ang kaniyang mga magulang. Though, I always ignored them. Palagi akong kasama ng mga kaibigan ko noon kaya hindi rin nila ako masiyadong nakakausap, at wala rin naman akong pakialam sa pormal at pilit na batian ng mga pamilya namin.

“Hijo, free ba ang parents mo—”

“Mommy! Just set a date if you want to—”

“Vanessa! What’s with you? Aren’t you friends with Tyler?” gulat at medyo may awtoridad na saway ng kaniyang ina, completely cutting Vince off.

Napatingin ako kay Vince. The high-tension energy radiating from him was almost palpable. Ang kanina niyang namumulang pisngi ay tila napalitan ng bahagyang pamumutla dahil sa labis na takot at pagkapahiya sa harap ng kaniyang mga magulang.

“I-I just mean…” he stammered. “Tyler’s parents are busy people, Mom. We shouldn’t… we shouldn’t just invite them like this unprepared.”

“Busy or not, it’s just a simple dinner request, Vanessa,”

I smiled at his father. “I’ll call Dad, Tito,”

“Oh, that’s wonderful, hijo!” her mother happily clapped her hands together. “Mabuti naman kung ganoon. You can use the phone in the study room, or you can just stay here while Vanessa takes care of your wounds.”

Nagkatingan kaming dalawa. I suppressed a smirk while he looked devastated and troubled.

Tumikhim ang kaniyang ama. “I’ll call your brothers. Dito muna sila matulog ng isang gabi,” baritono at malamig na singit ng kaniyang ama sa titigan naming dalawa.

Bago pa man makahakbang paalis ang kaniyang ama para tawagan ang mga kuya niya, biglang lumingon ang kaniyang ina sa paligid ng malawak at tahimik na bahay. Her brows furrowed as if just realizing the unusual quietness of the household.

“Nasaan pala sina Manang?”

“They’re at the kitchen—”

“Why?” litong tanong ng kaniyang nanay.

“I…” he trailed off, his voice completely failing him. He bit his lower lip so hard it lost its color.

“Pinaalis ko po muna sila, Ma’am,” seryoso kong singit. It instantly draw his parents’ heavy gazes back to me. “Masiyado po akong madumi at madugo nang dumating kami. Vin—Vanessa was just trying to patch me up quietly so I wouldn’t ruin your carpets or alarm the staff.”

“Okay,” buntong-hininga ng kaniyang ina, gently shaking her head before looking at Vince. “Sige na, Vanessa. Tapusin mo na ang paggamot sa kaniya bago dumating ang mga kuya mo at ang parents ni Tyler. I’ll go check on Manang to prepare our dinner.”

The moment his mother walked away toward the dining hallway and his father turned on his heel to make the calls, the living room fell into silent.

Vince didn’t waste a heartbeat. He snapped his head toward me. I smirked at him.

“Are you out of your mind?!” he snarled. “Bakit mo sinalo ’yon? At bakit mo sinabing tatawagan mo ang tatay mo?! They’ll be expecting them to be here—”

“So? They might come and have dinner with your family.” I shrugged my shoulders.

Mas tumalim ang tingin niya sa akin. Kung nakamamatay lang ang mga sulyap, kanina pa ako nakahandusay sa marangyang sahig ng bahay nila.

Sumipol ako at bahagyang hinaplos ang aking batok, binalewala ang mariing kirot na gumuhit sa likod ko habang nananatiling nakapaskil ang isang mapang-asar na ngisi sa aking mga labi.

“My dad… my brothers… they don’t do casual dinners. It’s always about business. At kapag nalaman nina Kuya kung bakit ka talaga nandidito—”

“Natatakot ka ba na magka-gulo ang pamilya natin… o natatakot ka lang na kapag magkaharap si Dad at ang ama mo, maaalala nilang lahat na ako pa rin ang nag-iisang lalaking iniyakan mo noon kasi gustong-gusto mo ako?”

His jaw dropped and his eyes blinked in disbelief. Hindi niya yata inaasahang dideretsuhin ko siya nang ganoon katindi sa mismong sala ng bahay niya, at nandito na ang mga magulang niya.

“That was years ago—”

“And you cried because I was ignoring you—”

“I don’t fucking care!” putol niya sa akin.

I chuckled and tilted my head. “You liked me so much that you cried?” I asked then let out a teasing hum that practically dripped with arrogance.

He bit his lower lip and looked away. Mas lalo akong naging masaya habang pinagmamasdan ang bawat reaksiyon niya. The way his long eyelashes fluttered furiously, the desperate way his chest heaved—it was fascinating.

“Hindi mo man lang ba itatangi?”

Galit niya akong hinarap. “I did cry over you! But it was just—”

“Why though? You fell in love with me—”

“No! Ang bata ko pa para maging in love!”

I grinned. “Really? Bakit mo ako iniyakan—”

“Fine! If you think that I cried because I fell in love with you, then go ahead! Isipin mo ang gusto mong isipin!” asik niya, tuluyan nang napikon sa mapang-asar kong ngiti at mga tanong.

“Isipin mo na lang na baliw na baliw ako sa ’yo noon para matahimik ka na!”

I sneered. “Noon lang? I always thought that you still—”

“Yuck?” anas niya, ang mukha ay dinaluyan ng matinding pandidiri habang mabilis siyang humakbang paatras para lumayo sa akin. “You really have a massive ego, don’t you? Kadiri ka, Tyler.”

“Yuck?” I scowled. “Talaga? Mas lalo mo lang pinapahalata na defensive ka.”

Humalukipkip siya at hindi makapaniwalang tumingin sa akin.

“Bakit mo ba ipinipilit na gusto ko pa rin kita hanggang ngayon?”

“Dahil kung wala na talaga…” I licked my lower lip. “…hindi ka matataranta nang ganito sa harap ko. Hindi mo itatago ang mga katulong niyo sa kusina—”

Naputol ang sasabihin ko nang biglang tumunog ang phone ko.

Fucking perfect timing!

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the screen. The glowing caller ID made me frown. It was my father.