LUIS IÑAKI DE ANGELO
EveMontelibano · 44 chapters · 133,534 words
AUTHOR’S NOTE
HELLO, MY DARLING LOTHARDICTS! After so many years of being out of the circ (although Lothario has always been out there for some reason), I’m finally bringing Lothario Series for you to enjoy all over again. I know most of you still keep your old copies and wouldn’t part with the bunch no matter what, but I’m going to give you a convenient way to re-read the series via your tablets, phones and laptops wherever and whenever you like.
I know I’ve been so slow in adding more stories to the series the past 6 years (my goodness, has it been that long since my last Lothario book?!), I’ll try to revive the Lothario spirit by making Lothario available to everyone who might be interested to read this series. So, tell your friends the Lothario boys are FINALLY on Watty!
A little background on how this series came about. Five million years ago, I got my heart broken. Instead of moping and cussing my fate, my ex, and my stupidity, I poured my rage and pain into my writing. Day and night I wrote as though it was the last day I’d ever feel love and all the shit connected to it. So I embraced it with everything in me.
The result of that madness was Lucky.
And Lothario was born.
I submitted the manuscript to PHR, they accepted it without revision. Thank you, PHR. So you’re getting the original version here, and maybe I’ll give you something extra to devour here and there. You’ll never know what the Fairy Godma can come up with when she’s not having a bad hair day.
I will publish the series chronologically. PHR published 7 books in the series. I will call them collectively as Lothario Batch 1.
They are as follows:
Luis Iñaki de Angelo
Duero Leon Deleste
Russel Valdeverro
Marco Buenavista
Jethro Remulla
Azul del Rosario
Dylan Ray Anderson
My own publishing house, LOVE MATCH released Lothario Batch 2, namely,
Nicolo Andreas Sanvictores (Nico)
Jonathan Miguel Silverio (Jonty)
Kristoffer del Bianco (Kit)
Joaquim Arkeus Montero (Jaq)
What you will read here are all my original works. I will try to update at least 3x a week.
Every woman deserves a hero, a man who would be everything to her – friend, lover, partner. We all dream of this man to come into our lives, this one great love that will last for all time. And beyond.
I give you the Lotharios. May these men keep this dream alive in your hearts.
Enjoy!
PS. The Lotharios from Batch 1 have been out of print for many years now. PHR has stopped reprinting them. But you can still find preloved copies somewhere over the rainbow, maybe? Thank God, you can read them all here, yes? Yay!
The Lotharios from Batch 2 are still in print. You can purchase copies from several online sellers out there. Contact me and I’ll direct you to them.
BOOK LIST COMING UP!
PROLOGUE
SOUNDTRACK
YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL by James Blunt
ISANG MADUGONG RESCUE MISSION ang nangyari sa Quezon Province na halos hindi nalagpasan nang buhay ni Lucky. Isa siyang batambatang tinyente na napasabak sa war zone. His bravery and bloodlust did nothing to save the lives of his men though.
Nalagasan siya ng mga magigiting na comrades dahil hindi nakarating ang backup platoon na hiningi niya sa base camp. Napag-alaman na lamang niya pagkatapos ng misyon na na-ambush ang backup nila habang papunta sa site ng kanilang operation.
Ang taong iniligtas nila mula sa mga kamay ng mga rebeldeng komunista ay ang bilyonaryong businessman na si Don Antonio DeLeste. Nagkaroon ng hindi pagkakaunawaan ang mga mamamayan ng isang barangay sa Quezon ukol sa mining site na itinayo ng makapangyarihang pilantropo. Nakialam na ang mga rebelde sa isyu. Kinidnap nila ang isa sa pinakamaimpluwensiyang tao sa buong bansa.
Nailigtas nila si Antonio Deleste sampu ng kanyang piling-piling mga kasamahan sa Special Forces ng AFP. Ang presidente mismo ng bansa ang bumuo ng unit para mailigtas ang kaibigan nito.
Inihatid niya nang personal sa tahanan nito ang don. Ang gusto lamang niyang gawin pagkatapos ay mag-RNR – umuwi, maligo at matulog nang buong araw. He badly needed food, sex and a vacation. In that order.
And then he saw her. One look at her lovely, brown eyes and he was lost. He knew he would never be the same again.
1
PLAY SOUNDTRACK FOR THIS CHAPTER FOR THE FEELS:)
LINK ABOVE ^
IRIS by GOOD DOLLS
TUMUNOG ANG CELLPHONE ni Lucky de Angelo. Napamura siya. The last thing he needed at that very moment was a telephone call, pero kilala niya kung sino ang tumatawag base sa ringtone nito.
“Don’t answer that damn thing, Luck,” babala ni Klaudia, ang socialite na current bed partner niya. Nasa ibabaw niya ito, kumikintab sa pawis ang hubad at seksing katawan.
Pinadaan niya ang hintuturo sa left nipple nito. “Or what, Klaudia? Hmm?” He smiled devilishly.
“Pag sinagot mo ’yan, aalis ako. Sabi mo kanina no phone calls and visitors while l’m here!” mataray sa sabi nito. Kilala niya ito sa pagiging spoiled brat, palibhasa’y sunod ang lahat ng layaw sa mga magulang. Bunsong anak ito ng mga Dominguez, isa sa pinakamayamang angkan sa Cebu. Kilala rin ito sa pagiging playgirl, and that suited him just fine. He enjoyed the pleasure of her company while it lasted.
Dinampot niya ang kanyang cellphone mula sa side table. “Hello.”
“Shit!” Inis na bumalikwas si Klaudia, pumasok sa banyo at pabalibag na isinara ang pinto niyon.
Binalewala niya ang reaksiyon nito, bagkus, itinutok ang atensiyon sa tumawag. “Hey, babe. What’s up?”
“Hi, Luck. Pwede mo ba akong samahan mamayang gabi sa CCP sa opening ng exhibit ni Karen? ’Di kasi pwede si Nico, may board meeting daw siya.”
“Sure, what time kita susunduin?”
“Around seven.”
“Okay. Kumusta ang boutique mo?”
“Great! Mataas ang sales ko ngayon. I’m planning to open another branch. I’ll need your help. Kailangan ko ng investors.”
Napangiti siya. She never failed to bring a smile to his lips. “Really? Ano’ng sabi ng Daddy mo?”
“Hay, naku, secret natin ito, ha? You know my father, he’ll give me the amount I need for free, but he’ll railroad all my plans. I’m tired of being treated like I have no brains. Gusto ko, sarili kong diskarte.”
Pumito siya. “Ooh, my baby has come a long way, huh?”
Natawa ito. He always liked the sound of her laughter.
“Seriously, Luck, gusto ko talagang matuto nang husto kung paano magpatakbo ng negosyo. I want to help Nico in running his businesses once we’re married. I want him to be proud of me.”
Napabuntong-hininga si Lucky. He could feel his temper rising at the mention of her fiance. Ayaw niyang marinig ang pangalan ng lalaki sa mga conversations nila. Pero hindi alam ni Kate ang damdamin niya. Ingat na ingat siyang makahalata itong selos na selos siya kay Nico.
Lumabas ng banyo si Klaudia, bihis na at namaywang sa kanyang harapan.
He was sprawled indolently on the bed. He just looked at her, bored.
“Drop that thing and I might reconsider,” hamon nito.
He smirked. Siya pa ang hinamon nito. Between her and a little chat with his angel, no contest. Impersonal ang naging tugon niya. “Bye, Klaudia. I’ll call you later.”
’Damn you!“ asik nito at galit na lumabas ng kanyang suite.
Ni hindi siya natinag sa kama. Ang buong atensiyon niya ay nasa kausap sa telepono.
Si Katrina Deleste.
PUMARADA ang silver late-model Mustang convertible ni Lucky sa malawak na driveway ng mansiyon ng mga Deleste sa Forbes Park. Binati siya ni Cesar, ang mayordomo.
“Cesar, hindi ako magtatagal. Susunduin ko lang si Kate, tapos lalabas na agad kami,” aniya sa butihing may-edad ng lalaki. Matagal nang naglilingkod sa pamilya Deleste si Cesar at isa ito sa mga housestaff na pinagkakatiwalaan nang lubos ng pamilya.
Tuloy-tuloy siya sa kabahayan. Ang bahay ng mga Deleste ay isang sprawling three-story Italianate mansion na nakatayo sa isang malawak na estate. Sa bawat sulok ng grandiyosong kabahayan ay makikita ang impeccable taste ng mga residente.
Nagkalat ang mga orihinal na European impressionist paintings sa mga dinding. Marami ring mga likha ng mga local national artists ang nasa collection ng mga Deleste, tulad nina Legaspi, Manansala at Francisco. Kate’s parents were serious art patrons. Namana ni Kate sa mga ito ang pagkahilig sa art. But her taste ran in the modern and contemporary..
Pababa na si Kate sa grand staircase. Lihim niyang nahigit ang hininga, buong paghangang napatitig sa dalaga.
“Ang aga mo yata.” Matamis ang ngiti nito.
Humalik siya sa pisngi nito. “Hindi naman. Ayoko lang ma-late ka sa pupuntahan natin. Traffic, you know?”
Umikot ito sa kanyang harapan. Suot nito ang isang white form-fitting evening gown. Litaw ang magandang hubog ng mga balikat nito, and just a hint of cleavage. Kate had the body that would sell millions of magazine covers if she decided to flaunt it – not that he’d ever allow her – but she didn’t flaunt her assets like most women endowed with the body of a goddess. Nakataas ang lampas-balikat na buhok nito, natural na dark brown at may blonde highlights dahil sa dugo nitong Kastila. Elegant, sophisticated, and modestly sexy, iyon ang istilo nito sa pananamit. She preferred the classic look and was never a fashion victim.
“You like it?” She smiled alluringly at him. He lived for those smiles.
“You look beautiful as always.”
Words are not enough to describe your beauty, my sweet angel.
“Thank you, Luck. You look dashing yourself,” sabi nito sabay ayos sa kwelyo ng Armani blazer niya. Nalanghap niya ang bango nito. He inhaled more of her scent discreetly. He had to clench his fists to stop the urge to touch her more than what was customary.
“There. Perfect!” nasisiyahang sabi nito at tinapik ang mga balikat niya.
“Don’t forget the time, Cinderella.”
Kapwa sila napalingon sa pinagmulan ng tinig na iyon.
“Good evening, Ma’am,” magalang na bati niya kay Doña Beatrice, ang ina ni Kate.
“Mom, I’m over eighteen. Isa pa’y kasama ko naman si Lucky. Pwede akong umuwi nang madaling araw,” natatawang sagot nito sa ina.
Lumapit ang doña sa kanila. Parang younger version nito si Kate. Parehong-pareho ang hugis ng mga mukha ng mga ito; ang high cheekbones, ang matatangos at eleganteng mga ilong, ang mapupula at sensuwal na mga labi, ang light brown eyes na naaarkuhan ng mahahabang mga pilikmata at aristokratang mga kilay.
Sa kabila ng edad nito, napaka-regal pa rin ng bearing ng doña na isang society doyenne sa alta-sosyedad na kanilang kinabibilangan. Ito at ang asawang si Don Antonio DeLeste ay maligayang nagsasama nang tatlumpong taon na. Sila ay mga primerong pilantropo ng bansa, nirerespeto at tinitingala ng lipunan dahil sa angking generosity and impeccable reputation.
Biniyayaan ang mga ito ng dalawang anak, ang panganay na si Duero Leon at ang bunsong si Katrina.
“Don’t worry, Ma’am, no harm will come to your daughter. I will take very good care of her,” paniniguro niya sa doña.
Ngumiti ito, hinaplos siya sa pisngi. “I know you will, hijo.”
“Kumusta na ho si DL?” tukoy niya kay Duero Leon. Iyon ang palayaw nito.
The madame rolled her eyes. “Hay naku, kung minu-minuto ay iisipin ko ang pinaggagagawa ng batang ’yon ay baka minu-minuto na rin akong nasa ospital. Nasa Malaysia siya ngayon. Ewan kung ano na namang karera ang sinalihan.”
Isang world champion race car driver ng Formula 21 League si DL. Updated naman siya sa mga karera nito. Mahilig siyang manood ng car racing, pero hindi sila nakakapag-usap lately nang personal ni DL. Busy ito sa racing career nito at busy rin siya sa trabaho. Kaya sa sports news na lang siya nakikibalita sa mga nangyayari sa buhay nito, at siyempre, kay Kate. Limited rin naman ang alam ni Kate sa kapatid. Iba pa rin ang usapang lalaki. Miss na niya ang gagong ’yon.
Natawa si Kate sa tinuran ng ina. “Si Mommy talaga. DL is the best ever Filipino race car driver to hit international fame,” proud na proud namang sabi nito ukol sa kapatid.
“If he lives long enough to tell his children about it,” sagot naman ng doña. Obviously, she didn’t approve of DL’s career choice. “Bueno, lumakad na kayo at baka mahuli pa kayo sa pupuntahan ninyo. Enjoy the party.”
“Bye, Mom.” Humalik ang dalaga sa pisngi ng ina saka ikinawit ang kamay nito sa braso niya.
“Please, give my regards to Don Antonio and DL, ma’am.”
“I will, Lucky.”
HINDI MASYADONG mahilig dumalo sa mga galas at parties si Lucky. Mas gusto niyang maglagi sa Polo Club o sa kanyang casino, o kaya’y sa kanyang private dojo. Idle chitchat bored the hell out of him, pero kailangang samahan niya si Kate sa mga ganitong lakad. Ayaw niyang lumalabas ito nang walang escort at ang bodyguard lang nito ang kasama. He cared a great deal about her safety, and he wanted to grab every chance of being with her. He cherished every moment of them being together.
Kate really loved events like this. Palagi niya itong sinasamahan sa mga museums at galleries. He, on the other hand, was an art collector because he was a businessman. Investments para sa kanya ang mga artworks, at si Kate ang namimili para sa kanya. She had an eye for raw talent and pieces that would acquire great value over time.
He watched as Kate hugged her friend, Karen. Sikat na pintor si Karen at mabenta ang mga gawa nito.
“Hello, Luck. I’m glad you could come,” bati nito sa kanya.
Mapanukso ang tingin nito. He knew she wanted him. Women came too easy for him. Hinalikan niya ito sa pisngi. “Lalo kang gumaganda, Karen.”
Medyo nag-blush ito. “Thank you.”
Sanay siya sa mga advances ng mga babae, pero hindi sa harapan ni Kate. Naasiwa siya sa mga titig ni Karen. One phone call and she was in the bag. Karen had been giving him the right signals for some time now, pero hindi niya tataluhin ang kaibigan ni Kate. That was a kind of trouble he didn’t want to court. Too close to home.
“Excuse me, ladies. May kakausapin lang ako.”
Iniwan niya ang dalawa at nakiumpok sa ilang mga kakilalang businessmen. He didn’t go there to socialize, but since he was already there, he might as well do some business.
“GOODNESS, KATE, he’s absolutely sinful!” Karen gushed as her eyes followed Lucky around the vast hall of the gallery.
“You’re drooling, girl,” saway ni Kate sa kaibigan. Alam niyang matagal na itong may gusto kay Lucky. Hindi nga lang ito pinapansin ni Lucky.
“How can you be with him without ravishing him? He makes me think of really filthy stuff.”
“Shhh, baka marinig ka, nakakahiya.”
Lumabi ito. “Prude,” anito sa mas mahinang tinig.
“I’m not a prude, excuse me!” protesta naman niya. Alam niyang liberated pagdating sa sex ang kaibigan niyang ito. Karen frequented the international social circuits and preferred to date foreigners.
“I know, I know. You’re saving yourself for your precious Nico. Hay naku, Katrina, sometimes hindi kita mapaniwalaan sa pagkamanang mo. Pwede ka nang sabitan ng medal of perpetual chastity. This is the new millennium, girl! Nag-e-enjoy ka ba sa relasyon ninyo ni Nico? No sex ’til marriage? Who still does that?”
“Me.”
“Sigurado ka bang Nico is also saving himself for you? Frankly, I find that hard to believe, girl.” Nakatingin na ito sa kanya nang makahulugan.
Nag-init ang kanyang mga pisngi. “I didn’t expect him to be a saint prior to our engagement,” depensa niya sa nobyo.
“Okay, pero sure ka na ikaw lang talaga since your engagement? Sa gwapo ng lalaking ’yon?”
“Karen, ano ba! Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo? Of course, Nico is faithful to me. Those rumors are not true.”
Totoong conservative siya pagdating sa sex, pero oras na makasal sila ni Nico, she planned to totally indulge in the pleasures of the flesh with her husband. Ang malaking ipinagpapasalamat niya ay hindi naman siya pini-pressure ni Nico na gawin ang bagay na ’yon. But then, there were those nasty rumors circulating in the high society grapevine. Her heart sank. Karen made her think about that again. Kakausapin niya si Lucky tungkol dito. Sigurado niyang may alam ito.
“Anyway, with a guy like Nico naman, kahit siya lang ang lalaki sa buhay mo, hindi ka naman lugi.” Karen giggled. “Pero kung si Lucky ay magiging akin, willing akong i-give up ang mga boyfriends ko sa iba’t ibang sulok ng mundo, pati na ang jetsetting lifestyle ko, and stick with him for good.”
Tumaas ang mga kilay niya sa tinuran ni Karen. “Seriously? Ngayon ko lang yata narinig ’yan ah.”
“We’re not getting any younger, girl. It’s time to look for The One.”
“And you’re setting your cap on…Lucky?”
“Why not? He’s the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on. So elusive and mysterious. Parang gusto mo siyang arukin, find out for yourself kung totoo lahat ang mga sinasabi nila tungkol sa kanya. There’s an aura of danger about him, a man in total control of his business. My kind of man.”
Na-curious siya. “Bakit? Anong sinasabi nila tungkol kay Lucky?”
Inilapit ito ang mukha sa tainga niya. “Alam mo bang Klaudia Dominguez has been raving about his abilities in the sack? Kiss and tell ang bruha. She even described his family jewels as a huge fortune.” Muli itong humagikhik.
Nag-blush siya. “Hush!” Tinampal niya ang braso nito, naeskandalo.
“Oh my God, Kate, you’re so unbelievably sheltered. Wala na yatang tulad mo sa mga panahon ngayon,” natatawa pa ring komento nito.
“That had better be a compliment or I’ll never speak to you again.”
Karen’s eyes were full of mischief. “Of course, it was a compliment, girl. Nico will love it, no doubt. Men love to be the first, the only, and the last. Neanderthals. Makes me want to throw up just saying it. Anyway, bakit ba napunta sa kanya ang usapan, eh, si Lucky ang topic? Oh boy, look at that ass, the way he walks, like a panther, smooth and unhurried. But beware of the savage beast underneath the designer suit…” Parang artwork na binibistahan nito si Lucky na nasa di-kalayuan. “I would love to paint him in the buff.”
Natawa na siya sa inaasal ng kaibigan. “Grabe na yata ang tama mo kay Lucky, girl. Baka mauwi ka sa mental hospital niyan.”
“Alam mo, kung hindi ko lang alam na engaged ka kay Nico, I would really be jealous of you. Lagi kayong magkasama ni Lucky. He’s practically your escort everywhere you go. Mas mukhang boyfriend mo pa siya kaysa kay Nico.”
“Lucky is like family. He and Dad go a long way back. Remember noong ma-hostage ng mga NPA si Dad sa Quezon many years ago while visiting a mining site there? It was Lucky’s team that rescued him.”
“Really? Wow!” Namimilog ang mga matang bulalas nito. Mukhang lalong humanga pa kay Lucky. Sabagay, kahanga-hanga nga namang talaga si Lucky. Karen had great taste when it came to him, at least.
“He used to be in the military. Captain na ang rank niya when he decided to leave the AFP and help his Mom and stepfather run their businesses. On the side, he founded a security agency. You know that, right? Stealth Unlimited is one of the best in Asia.”
“Tell me more about him. Why is he so rich? I can’t believe he could have amassed such wealth in such a short period of time with even an elite security agency for a business.”
Na-amuse siya sa mga tanong nito. Noon lang ito naging curious nang ganoon sa mga detalye ng buhay ni Lucky.
“Well, Lucky’s father was a half-Italian half-American tycoon in the States. Lucky inherited almost everything when his father died. Twelve years old lang siya nang mawala ang father niya. And you know naman kung sino ang mother niya.”
“Of course, the fabulous Becca de Angelo.” There was reverence in Karen’s tone as she mentioned Lucky’s glamorous mother.
Si Rebecca de Angelo-Willshire ay isang tanyag na soprano sa mundo. Nakilala nito ang ama ni Lucky na si Gino de Angelo sa Amerika. Nang magkita raw ang mga ito sa isang gala na dinaluhan ng diva sa naturang bansa, hindi na ito tinantanan ng lalaki. Nagpakasal ang mga ito sa Amerika at doon na nanirahan si Becca hanggang sa mamatay si Gino sa isang plane crash. Bumagsak ang private jet nito habang papunta sa isang out-of-state business meeting. Nauwi kay Becca ang pangangalaga sa naiwang mga negosyo ng asawa.
Nagpabalik-balik si Becca sa Pilipinas at pinalawak pa ang mga negosyo ng yumaong asawa sa Asia. Nang magtapos sa Westpoint si Lucky, nagpasiya ang mag-ina na bumalik ng Pilipinas at dito na manirahan. Lucky chose to be with the AFP instead of joining the American forces. Sinabi nito sa kanya na malaki ang respeto nito sa mga sundalong Pilipino at gusto nitong makapaglingkod sa bayan ng ina nito.
Muling nakapag-asawa si Becca ng isa ring hotel magnate na Amerikano. Bumalik ito sa Amerika upang makasama ang pangalawang asawa. Naiwan si Lucky sa Pilipinas at napilitang bumitiw sa AFP upang palitan ang ina sa pagpapatakbo sa mga hotels ng mga ito sa Pilipinas at sa ibang parte ng Asia.
“Tita Becca has no children with her second husband kaya si Lucky rin ang nagpapatakbo sa mga hotel ng stepfather niya sa Asia,” patuloy na pagsasalaysay niya sa kaibigan. “Though I’m pretty sure you already know most of this. Admit it, you’ve probably been googling about him.”
“Some, pero iba pa rin ’yong nanggaling sa ’yo. Mas reliable ka siyempre kesa sa mga articles sa internet. Haay, kung pwede nga lang pikutin ang lalaking ’yan. Kaso hindi na ako virgin para ilaban ng Papa ko sa giyera ang puri ko complete with a shotgun.”
Natawa si Kate. Karen’s sense of humor was what she liked most about her friend. Unlike her, Karen didn’t take things too seriously. Opposites attract nga siguro. “Hindi si Lucky ang tipong mahuhulog sa ganyang mga traps.”
“Well, you gotta help me then, girl. Tell me how to make him like me.”
“Hmm, what are friends for? Tingnan ko kung anong magagawa ko. But no promises, okay?”
Nayakap siya nito sa sobrang tuwa. “Thanks, girl! By the way, iyong tungkol sa blind item, huwag mo nang masyadong isipin ’yon, ha? Kung bakit ko naman kasi ipinakita pa sa ’yo ’yon, eh. Puro tsismis lang ’yon ng mga detractors ni Nico. Alam mo naman, dog eat dog sa business world.”
Ngumiti lang siya. “Okay lang ’yon, Karen. I know you just care about me too much. I’m thankful na ipinaalam mo sa akin ’yon. At least hindi ako blind sa mga nangyayari sa paligid. Alam mo naman ako, oblivious sa society grapevine. I’m so busy with my business.”
She was lying, too. Ang totoo, ilang gabi na siyang hindi makatulog nang maayos dahil sa nabasang blind item tungkol kay Nico.
“KAREN LIKES YOU,” sabi ni Kate sa kanya.
Shit. Lucky kept his facial expression neutral. Pauwi na sila galing ng CCP lulan ng Mustang niya.
“Talaga?” he said in a blase tone.
“Sus, as if you didn’t know,” irap nitong nangingiti.
Natawa naman siya. “She’s not my type.”
“Why not? She’s very pretty, smart, glamorous, successful in her own right, you name it. What’s not to like?”
“Mukhang ibinebenta mo na ang kaibigan mo sa akin, ah.”
“Hindi nga, Luck. Why don’t you like her?” pangungulit nito.
“You really wanna know? Sige, pero no offense sa kaibigan mo, ha? Physically, she’s okay. Mentally, very intelligent, aggressive, and determined, which are fine qualities to me. But emotionally, she hates rejection and would expect too much from a relationship. There’s the snag. Relationships, I’m not good at. Too much, I can’t give.”
“So, you settle for the Klaudias of the world, women you can kick out of your bed whenever you feel like it, and still they keep coming back for more.”
Natawa ulit siya. She was so spot on. “Hey, do I hear sarcasm there?”
Sumeryoso ito. “Have you ever been in love, Luck?”
Hindi siya sumagot. What a fucking question. It was so ironic that she was asking him this and he knew he had to lie through his teeth.
Tinapik nito ang braso niya. “Hoy, tinatanong kita.”
Umiling siya, ngumiti nang matabang. “Love, they say, is like a plague that ravages your heart and soul until you no longer wish to live. Wala akong planong magkasakit nang malala.” Binuntutan niya nang hilaw na tawa ang sinabi.
“If I didn’t know any better, iisipin kong desperado ka, Luck,” she said, amusement in her tone.
That’s right. You really don’t know shit about what I feel. Ain’t that fucking marvelous?
“Who, me? Nope. I like my freedom, thank you very much.”
Natahimik ito. She stared at the road ahead.
“Cat got your tongue, angel?” putol niya sa namayaning katahimikan sa pagitan nila.
“Luck, kaedad mo si Nico. You’re both thirty-one. Do you think he’s ready to settle down?”
Bakit siya ang tinatanong nito at hindi ang tarantadong boyfriend nito? “Bakit mo naman naitanong ’yan?
“I heard some rumors. May ibang babae raw si Nico,” she said in a small voice.
Shit ka talaga, Nico! Hindi siya umimik. Matagal na niyang alam ’yon.
“Hindi ako makapapayag, Luck. I’ve spent half of my life preparing to be Mrs. Sanvictores. Our parents were practically begging us to tie the knot years ago, pero hindi pa ako handa noon. May mga pangarap pa ako sa buhay na gusto kong abutin. But now, handa na ako. I think it’s the right time for us to get married. Kailangan na niya ng asawa.”
Nagtagis ang mga ngipin niya, humigpit ang hawak sa manibela. He knew what was coming next.
“I don’t wanna lose him, Luck.” Garalgal na ang tinig nito.
Nagpasiya siyang ihinto muna ang sasakyan sa tabi ng daan.
Hilam na ng luha ang mga mata nito. Napamura siya sa sarili. He really hated seeing her cry. Damn you, Nico! Mapapatay kita!
“Shh…Kate.” Pinahid niya ang mga luha nito at niyakap.
Tuluyan na itong napaiyak. “Hindi naman ako nagagalit sa kanya, Luck. He’s a man. He has certain needs na hindi ko pa maibigay sa kanya ngayon. Siguro, natukso lang siya. Pero hindi ako makapapayag na sirain ng kung sinong babaeng napulot lang niya sa kung saan ang relasyon namin.”
“Do you really love him?” He immediately regretted asking her that, but he was such a glutton for punishment. Story of his life since he met this angel.
“Yes. I love him. I’ll die without him, Luck.”
You’re giving your life to a good for nothing asshole, my love. But he swallowed everything and kept his mouth shut. Her marriage to Nico was not an ordinary one. It was a dynastic alliance, and even he could not muster the courage to break it, even if it was slowly killing him inside.
Napatiim-bagang siya at hinagod na lamang ang likod nito hanggang sa kumalma ito at tumigil sa pag-iyak.
Sa kalooban niya, parang pinipiga ang kanyang puso. Alam niyang darating at darating ang panahong mawawalay na ito sa kanya, hindi na niya makakasama nang malaya tulad ngayon, hindi na basta-basta malalapitan.
Don’t be a fool. She was never yours to begin with. Only in your dreams, Lucky. Only in your fucking dreams.
PLEASE, VOTE FOR THIS CHAPTER.
Love you, guys.
2
PLAY SOUNDTRACK FOR THIS CHAPTER FOR THE FEELS:)
Video links above and within the chapter.
I TOUCH MYSELF by Divinylis
CLOSER by Nine Inch Nails
ISANG MAINIT NA POLO MATCH ang kasalukuyang nagaganap sa open field ng Manila Polo Club. Championship match iyon ng opening tournament ng polo season, kung kaya’t well-attended ang naturang event nang magkakahalong polo enthusiasts, celebrities, politicians, at mga taga-media.
Abante sa scoreboard ang team ni Lucky. Apat sila sa team. Siya ang No. 1, o ang Forward, ang pinaka-aggressive at offensive player sa team na siyang pinakaresponsable sa pag-shoot ng bola sa goal ng kalaban.
Ang No. 2 at back-up Forward ay si Russel Valdeverro. Ang No. 3 ay si Jonathan Miguel “Jonty” Silverio, ang kanilang Team Captain at siyang pinaka-experienced sa kanilang lahat sa larong ito. Ang No. 4 at Back o guwardiya ng goal nila ay si Dylan Ray Anderson, ang half-American business tycoon na nawili nang manirahan sa Pilipinas.
Kalaban nila ang team ni Nico Sanvictores, na siyang Team Captain ng kabilang grupo. Si Marcus Alexis “X” Benedicto ang Forward ng mga ito, back-up Forward naman si Marco Buenavista, at Back si Azul “Blue” del Rosario.
Ang polo ay maihahalintulad sa larong football o hockey na ang main objective ay ipasok ang bola sa goal. Sa polo nga lang, nakasakay sa mga kabayo ang mga players.
Ngumisi si Alexis habang ginigitgit siya sa paghabol sa tumatakbong bola sa patag at luntiang damuhan. Milyon ang ginagastos upang ma-maintain ang ganda ng polo field.
“Shit! X, huwag kang masyadong lumapit!” babala niya rito. Siya ang nasa right of way. Malapit na sa foul ang ginagawa ni Alexis. Hinigpitan niya ang hawak sa renda ni Wild Card, ang kanyang itim na Arabian pony.
Malutong ang tawa ni Alexis. “Relax, pare, abante na kayo!” Lalo pa nitong inilapit ang kabayo nito sa kanyang kabayo. Halatang enjoy na enjoy ito sa ginagawa. Alexis loved to test boundaries. He thrived on living on the edge. Kabaliktaran niya na kalkulado ang bawat galaw. He hated it when his opponents would intentionally break rules just to win. Lagi siyang patas makipaglaro.
Nakakuha siya ng pagkakataon. Yumuko siya sa tagiliran ni Wild Card at inasinta ang bola ng hawak niyang mallet. Hinataw niya ang bola. Sinangga ni Alexis ng mallet nito ang kanyang foreshot. Halos magbanggaan na ang mga kabayo nila.
Napamura siya. “Fuck, X, back off!” galit na niyang sigaw dito. Sa wakas ay bumigay ito.
Nakaabante siya at muling hinampas ang bola. Mga labinlimang yarda ang layo niya sa goal ng kalaban. Lumipad ang bola sa mismong ulunan ni Blue at tuloy-tuloy sa goal.
Isang neck shot ang ginawa niya. Mahirap ’yon. Pinalo niya ang bola mula sa ilalim ng leeg ni Wild Card at top speed.
“Fuck!” narinig niyang sigaw ni Blue.
Tumunog ang bell, indikasyong tapos na ang ika-anim at huling chukka para sa larong iyon. Champion ang team niya. 13-9 ang score.
PUMASOK si Lucky sa men’s lounge ng Polo Club na katabi ng locker room, ibinagsak ang pagod na katawan sa isang malambot na armchair. Mamaya na siya mag-shower at magbihis. Magpapahinga siya nang konti. Nagkakaingayan sa kantiyaw ang mga lalaking naroon. Katatapos lang ng awarding ceremony.
May tumapik sa kanyang balikat. “Good, play Luck! Damn, kinakalawang na yata ako.” Pabagsak na umupo si Alexis sa kaharap niyang arm chair.
“Eh, puro babae kasi ang inaatupag mo imbes na mag-practice,” nakangising sabi niya rito.
Nagkibit-balikat ito. “Ah well, what can I say, women are more pleasurable to ride than horses.” Ngising-aso ito.
Napailing siya. “Iba ka rin. Ulul!”
Natawa lang ito. “Oy, pare, punta ka sa club sa Sabado. May ireregalo ako sa ’yo sa birthday mo. Ikaw ang unang titikim sa bagong star stripper ng Lothario.”
“What happened to the last one?” curious na tanong niya.
“I don’t know. Pagbalik ko galing ng Greece, nag-resign na si Laila. Sayang, ni hindi ko natikman ang isang ’yon.” Hinugot nito ang isang maliit na wooden box mula sa sports bag nito. Cuban cigars, X’s favorite. Nagsindi ito ng isang stick at humithit nang malalim, saka bumuga ng usok sabay buntong-hininga. “Man, I’m so beat.”
“That shit can kill you, you know?” puna niya rito.
He stared at the tip of his burning ciggie. “Everybody dies. It’s just a matter of when and how.”
“So, you’re burning your lungs. That’s your choice of death?”
Alexis threw him a funny look. “Napakaseryoso mo naman, bro. I appreciate your motherly instincts, but don’t kill my buzz. I’m fine, okay? Want some?”
“No, thanks.” Pero ang bango ng Cuban cigars at muntik na siyang kumuha ng isa.
Maya-maya’y may kinawayan si Alexis. “Hey, Nic! Pare!”
Lumapit si Nico sa kanila. “Alex.”
Nag-fist bump ang mga ito. Pagkuwa’y tumingin si Nico sa kanya, tumango. “Glood play, Luck.”
Tipid lang ang ngiting iginanti niya rito.
“Ngayon lang ’yan dahil hindi ako nakapag-practice nang husto. Next time, ikaw naman ang ilalampaso ko sa damuhan, Luck. That’s a promise, my man.”
“You can try, X.”
“Hey, Nic, pumunta ka sa club sa Sabado. I’m giving myself a welcome party. Everything will be on the house, including the women,” yaya nito kay Nico.
“Uhh, pass muna ako, pare,” bantulot na tanggi ni Nico.
“Aha, binabakuran ka na ba ni Kate?” kantiyaw ni Alexis dito.
“Hindi naman. Busy lang ako lately.”
“Pare, pakasalan mo na kasi si Kate. Ikaw rin, baka masulot ko siya sa ’yo,” nakakalokong tudyo ni Alexis.
Itinulak ito ni Nico sa balikat. “Tado!”
“I really need to find a wife. My folks are breathing down my neck all the time. Bwisit na bwisit na nga ako eh. Apo, apo, apo! Damn, I’m gonna hire myself a baby-maker.”
Pareho silang napatanga ni Nico rito. Sanay na sila sa pagiging pilyo at sutil ni Alexis na para bang wala itong bagay na siniseryoso sa buhay, pero noon lang nila itong narinig na nagsalita tungkol sa pag-aasawa.
Para sa kanila, si Alexis ay mukhang imposibleng mag-asawa. Allergic ito sa commitment. Wala nga itong girlfried at puro mga fuck buddies lang. Kahit sila ay hindi komporme sa napakababa nitong pananaw sa sakramento ng kasal at sa mababa nitong opinyon sa mga kababaihan.
Hindi niya mapagil na mapahagalpak ng tawa na sinabayan naman ni Nico.
“O, anong nakakatawa sa sinabi ko?” nakakunot-noong tanong ni Alexis.
“Pare, tama ka, hindi nga asawa ang hanap mo. Broodmare,” naiiling na sabi niya rito. “Tingin mo yata sa mga babae, mga kabayo. Respeto, pare.”
Itinuro siya nito ng dulo ng sigarilyo nito. “On the contrary, I have so much respect for women, come on!”
He highly doubted it. Alexis ran a fucking club full of the hottest babes from four continents. How was that for respect? But then again, he was a member of that club, so he had no moral ascendancy to lecture Alexis on the matter.
“Wife, baby-maker, pareho lang ’yon. Hindi ba’t ganun lang naman talaga ang mga asawa? I’ll give her lotsa money for shopping and keep her in absolute comfort for as long as we’re together. In return, she takes good care of my kids and I can go on fucking whoever I want. It’s a sweet deal. Believe me, women always flip for financial security more than love.”
Umiling-iling na rin si Nico, halatang hindi na naaaliw sa mga sinasabi ni Alexis. Pag nakaumpisa ito sa ganoong topic, palala nang palala ang lumalabas sa bibig nito. “Magpa-advertise ka, X, siguradong pipilahan ka,” sarkastikong sabi ni Nico. “Sige, mga pare, maliligo na ako. Kate’s waiting at the club’s restaurant.”
Nagtataka namang sinundan ni Alexis ng tingin si Nico. “What did I say that wasn’t already a fact?”
“Not facts. You just have twisted perspectives on women and marriage. He has a fiancee, you know?” sarkastiko ring sagot niya.
“Pare, I didn’t mean to insult Kate naman. Iba naman siya. She’s one in a million. She’s an exception.” Halatang nahiya na rin ito sa wakas.
“Alam mo, pare. Your disdain towards women is so ironic. You’re surrounded by them every day at the club.”
Tumango-tango ito. “Totoo naman ’yan. Hindi ako galit sa mga babae, pare. I love women! I’d expire without having one in a week. They’re the best tension reliever, the super highs and the feel-good lows and all the in-between feels. Better than drugs. Yup, you gotta love them.”
“Amen,” pagsang-ayon na lamang niya.
“Sinasabi ko lang ang totoo. Practical at matatalino na ang mga babae ngayon. But unlike most men, I don’t feed them with any emotional crap just to get under their skirts. I offer them something more concrete, something more tangible. A certain degree of power and financial security. They have a choice not to take my offer, and believe me, Luck, they always fall for it harder than a thousand I love yous.”
“What exactly is your point, X? I’m getting lost here, man.” May pagkayamot na sa tono niya. Really, this friend of his was twisted to the bone. But he loved the fucker like a brother.
“I’m talking about Lothario, man. It’s a living proof that women’s affections can be bought at the right price. My geishas are no ordinary women. These are women who want power. You fuck them, they fuck you harder, and if you let them, they mind-fuck you, too. It’s a fair exchange of resources, and nothing could be more empowering for women than that. ’Yon ang punto ko. Kuha mo?”
“And you think women are all like that? Power-hungry bitches?”
Nagkibit- balikat ito. “Not all. Most. I get sex for a certain fee. I enjoy, they enjoy and get paid. It’s simple commerce. I don’t go after the freebees, pare. They’re not really free. You’re gonna have to pay sooner or later, in another form of currency, and more often than not, ikaw pa ang lugi sa bandang huli. They’re all the same, whores, girlfriends, wives, no offense. They get paid after you nail them one way or another. It’s just a difference in context, but they’re all the same banana, cherry, cheesecake or whatever in my book,” pagsusuma nito.
On second thought, Alexis actually had a fucking point. “I can almost agree with you, pare. Almost.”
“Almost? Ah, pare, may naaamoy akong ’di maganda sa ’yo. Mukhang tinamaan ka na yata?”
Tumawa siya upang itago ang totoong nararamdaman. Na-bull’s eye siya ng gago. Napaghahalata na ba siya? Shit! “You’re nuts, pare. Saan mo naman nakuha yan?”
Naging makahulugan ang ngisi nito. “Your guess is as good as mine, Luck.” Bumuntong-hininga ito. “On the other hand, I’m willing to get rid of what you called my twisted perspectives kung ang mapapangasawa ko ay tulad ni Kate,” dugtong pa nito kasabay ng nakakalokong ngisi.
Umismid siya. “You can’t have her.”
Nagbuga ito nang makapal na usok sa harapan niya. “And neither can you, my friend,” he said with a satisfied smirk. “Neither can you.”
Tumayo siya at dinampot ang sports bag niya mula sa sahig. This conversation was definitely over.
“Hey, what did I say?”
“May hahabulin pa akong conference sa SU headquarters. See ya around, pare.” Tinapik niya ang balikat nito at lumakad na palayo.
“Punta ka sa Sabado, pare! Hindi ka magsisisi!” pahabol nito sa kanya.
“Titingnan ko!”
Pumasok na siya sa locker room.
NAKITA NIYA SI KATE sa restaurant ng club house, nakaupo sa isang mesa. She looked every inch a very classy lady in khaki jeans and white polo shirt. Kahit sa simpleng pananamit, napakaelegante nito, halos walang make-up ang mukha, pero napakaganda pa rin. At pag ngumiti na ito tulad ngayon at nakasentro sa kanya ang ngiting ’yon …shit. Tumitigil ang pag-inog ng mundo niya.
“Luck! Kumaway ito sa kanya at niyakap siya nang makalapit dito. “Ang galing-galing mo talaga! That last shot was awesome!”
Kung sana ay pinupuri siya nito hindi bilang kaibigan lang… Tangina, heto na naman siya. Parang sirang plaka. “Tsamba lang,” nakangiti niyang sabi. Ginawaran niya ito ng halik sa pisngi.
“Halika, join us. May kinakausap lang sandali si Nico. Ay, heto na pala siya.” Lumapit ito sa mapapangasawa. “Honey, talo ka ni Lucky today,” biro nito sa nobyo at saka yumakap sa baywang nito. Inakbayan ito ni Nico.
“Oo nga, eh. Babawi na lang ako sa susunod. Humanda ka sa President’s Cup, pare,” nakangiting baling ni Nico sa kanya.
Tumingala si Kate at hinalikan nang marahan sa mga labi ang nobyo.
Lucky watched in great pain and futile rage, willing himself to stand still and endure it. Wala siyang maaring gawin upang mapigil ang nangyayari. He was a very powerful man in every way, but he felt completely helpless at that moment.
“Luck, care to join us?” yaya ni Nico nang mag-angat ng mukha. He wanted to smash his fist right through Nico’s face, erase Kate’s taste from his lips.
“Ah, may hahabulin pa akong meeting. Salamat na lang. Sige, mauna na ako.” Tumalikod na siya.
“Call me up later, Luck. I gotta talk to you about Saturday,” pahabol ni Kate.
Hindi siya sumagot. Mabilis ang mga hakbang niya palayo sa dalawa.
He boarded his sports car in the parking lot and sped away from the club. Nangangalit ang mga bagang niya, nginangatngat ng matinding selos ang kamalayan niya. He felt murderous.
Pagdating niya sa kanyang penthouse, nagtuloy-tuloy siya sa kanyang private gym na nagsisilbi ring dojo at hinarap ang punching bag. Doon niya ibinuhos ang sama ng loob. Gusto niyang mabura sa isip si Kate. Si Kate na nakatingin nang buong pagmamahal kay Nico…hinahalikan si Nico…niyayakap si Nico…
Halos mapugto ang hininga niya sa kasusuntok at kasisipa. Nang mapagod ay lumuhod siya sa rubber-padded na sahig, habol ang hininga. Muli siyang tumayo at naghubad ng pang-itaas.
Maya-maya’y pumwesto siya sa pinakagitna ng dojo. Sinimulan niya ang isang komplikadong kata. Slowly, his turbulent mind settled back to the center of his soul. Nang matapos, kalmante na ang kalooban niya, naibaon na sa pinakailalim na parte ng kanyang utak ang sama ng loob.
Muli siyang naligo at nagbihis, saka nagtungo sa gusali ng Stealth Unlimited, ang headquarters ng kanyang security and protection agency.
Moderno ang disenyo ng apat na palapag na gusali ng SU. Steel, concrete and glass dominated the architecture. The interior was stark and clinical, painted in white and gray, with black accent colors. Nagsisilbing training ground ng mga agents ito. May state-of-the-art firing range mismo sa loob ng building, a fully equipped gym, olympic-size swimming pool, and a dojo. Lahat ng mga agents ay may sariling studio-type quarters at kanya-kanya ring opisina.
“Luck! ’Buti napadaan ka. Doon tayo,” salubong kaagad ni Jett sa kanya. Si Jethro Remulla ang top surveillance and investigative agent ng SU. Shareholder din ito ng SU. He and Jett had gone a long way back, noong pareho pa silang nasa Special Forces ng AFP. Hindi lang sila magkasosyo sa SU, isa rin ito sa mga pinakamalapit niyang kaibigan.
Sa malapad na conference room siya dinala ni Jett. “Ano’ng balita?” tanong niya, sabay upo sa isang swivel chair.
Dinampot nito ang isang remote control at itinutok sa isang parte ng dinding. Lumitaw ang isang napakalaking TV screen. Kung anu-ano pa ang pinindot nito saka lumitaw sa screen ang mukha ng isang babae.
“Looks familiar,” aniya habang pinag-aaralan ang naka-freeze na larawan.
“Maybe you’ve seen her before, pero hindi sa regular na grupo ng mga kakilala mo. Siya ang asawa ni Gonzalo Mondragon.”
“Patay na si Gonzalo.” Ang lalaki ay isa sa mga regular na parokyano ng kanyang casino. Chronic gambler ang may-edad ng lalaki, milyon-milyon kung magtapon ng pera. “So, does she bring us good business?”
Ngumisi ito. “You bet, she does. Siya ang tagapagmana ng kalahati ng mga ari-ariang naiwan ni Gonzalo. Malaki ’yon, halos isang bilyon in cash and assets. Hindi pumapayag ang anak ni Gonzalo na si Alfonso. Duda siya na ang madrasta ang nagpapatay sa ama. He’s hiring us to do surveillance on his stepmother, gather enough evidence to file a murder case against her. Pag nangyari ’yon, mapupunta sa pabor ni Alfonso ang bulto ng mana.”
“Do you think she’s guilty?”
“Based on my preliminary investigation, she had motive. We can build a case on that.”
Tumango-tango siya. “How much is the son willing to pay us?”
“I got him for twenty million.”
Napapito siya. Jett was really good at his job. He enjoyed the hunt and relished the kill. Jett was the real driving force behind SU.
SU got paid based on percentages. They didn’t come cheap. They were the best of the best. All their clients were bigtime personalities who had so much to lose in the game of power.
“What’re ya waiting for, buddy? Go nail the bitch,” sabi niya.
“On it. Later, man.” Iniwan na siya ni Jett sa conference room.
Nagbabad siya sa SU ng ilang oras. Anything to get his mind off of Kate.
SABADO NANG GABI, bumabaha ang alak at babae nang pumasok si Lucky sa Lothario. Sinalubong siya ng dalawang magagandang receptionists sa bukana ng club. Naka-harem costume ang mga ito.
Ang Lothario ay isang ultra-exclusive men’s club na pag-aari ni Alexis. Ito ang pinakabagong men’s club na naitayo sa Makati at piling-pili ang mga customers na pwedeng pumasok dito. Pawang mga maiimpluwensiya at mayayamang businessmen, politicians at sikat na mga celebrities lang ang nakaka-afford ng membership. International at confidential ang membership ng Lothario.
Ang isa sa mga cardinal rules ng club ay: What happens in Lothario, stays in Lothario. Lahat ng mga miyembro ay sumusunod sa batas na ito na istriktong ipinapatupad ni Alexis. Kapag lumabag, kick in the ass ang katapat. Walang miyembro ang gustong matanggal sa membership dahil isandaan lang ang members at hindi na lumalagpas ang bilang niyon. Maraming gustong pumasok sa club, pero kailangan nilang maghintay na may mabakante bago sila mabigyan ng chance, pero daraan pa rin sila sa matinding screening standards ni Alexis. Hindi ito basta-basta tumatanggap ng miyembro. Invitational ang pagsali sa Lothario at kay Alexis lang pwedeng manggaling ang imbitasyon. Lahat ng members ay mga personal na kakilala o kaibigan ni Alexis.
Alexis was a scion of one of the most powerful families in the country. Ang mga Benedicto ay prominente sa larangan ng politics at business. Dating senador ang ama nito. His father, Marcus Benedicto was so powerful that he was called The Kingmaker. Maraming mga politicians ang lumalapit dito para magpatulong na maluklok sa pwesto.
Alexis earned his infamy as a notorious womanizer whose reputation even spanned the other side of the globe. His parties were always the talk of the elite society not only for its lavishness, but also for its decadence.
Mistulang isang Greek palace sa Europe ang archirecture ng Lothario. Alexis did draw inspiration from the men’s club he frequented in Greece in which he was also a member. Malawak at magarbo ang interior na pinaghalong Egyptian, Roman at Greek ang disenyo. Members came here to experience utter luxury.
Mayroong outdoor at indoor swimming pools ang club, game rooms, spa, gym, theater, tennis and basketball courts, dalawang bars, tatlong restaurants, banquet hall, conference room, at may isandaang magagarang suites para sa mga exclusive members ng club. They were called the Elite 100. The members were all treated like royalty here.
Lothario was a small kingdom that catered to everything wordly. Women.Liquor. Gambling. Isa iyong mundong hango sa bohemyong imahinasyon ni Alexis, isang paraiso na kung saan ang lahat ng pinapantasya ng mga kalalakihan ay makakamtan nang walang pangamba at pangingimi.
Lothario was an extremely private club secured by Alexis’ political connections, legit and otherwise. Matindi ang security ng buong complex.
Iginala ni Lucky ang paningin.
Kaunti lang ang mga taong makikita sa malapad na grand salon na siyang pinakasentro ng mga aktibidades sa club. Mas pinapaboran ng ibang members na magliwaliw sa poolside kung saan nagtatampisaw sa tubig ang mga naggagandahang mga babae, o kaya’y sa game rooms kung saan ilang miyong mga ari-arian at pera ang natatalo at napapanalunan, o kaya’y sa mga mararangyang silid sa itaas.
Ang mga babae ng Lothario ay hindi lamang magaganda, lahat ng mga ito ay matatalino at halos lahat ay may college degrees. Mahigpit ang screening ni Alexis sa mga babae na kung tawagin nito ay mga “geisha.” Ang terminong ito ay hango sa Japanese, na ang ibig sabihin ay mga babaing tagapagbigay aliw sa mga lalaki.
The Lothario geishas were skilled in the art of making every member of the club happy in various ways. Lahat ng mga ito ay dumaan sa masusing pag-aaral ng tamang pakikiharap sa mga tao, lalo na sa mga lalaki. Pinag-aralan ng mga ito ang art of flirting at maging ang pagpapaligayang- sekswal sa mga lalaki. Higit sa lahat, ang mga ito ay dumaan sa istriktong medical examination upang masigurong may clean bill of health ang bawat isa. Alexis was a stickler for protection and the club was always stocked with Trojans everywhere.
Lothario was the ultimate playboy’s hangout in the country, and Alexis was the king there.
NAMATAAN NI LUCKY si Alexis sa isang parte ng malawak na salon, naka-recline sa isang loveseat. Nilalambing ito ng isang seksing babae na nakapulang body-hugging gown.
Kinawayan siya nito, sinenyasang lumapit. “Luck, mabuti’t nakahabol ka, pare!”
“Mukhang magdamagan na naman ’to, ah,” aniya at naupo sa isang bakanteng loveseat.
Tumawa ito. “Pare, I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Andiyan sina Marco at Blue. Tumawag si Russel kanina, sabay daw silang darating ni Jett.” Dumukwang ito sa center table na puno ng iba’t ibang klase ng inumin at finger foods, nagsalin ng Scotch whiskey sa isang baso at iniabot sa kanya. “Drink up, man. Birthday mo ngayon. Get drunk and get laid.”
Tinanggap niya ang baso at uminom. “Thanks, man. But celebrating my birthday only makes me feel ancient.”
Tumawa ito at binalingan ang babaing nakayakap mula sa likuran nito. “Sweety, pakihanap sina Marco at Blue, papuntahin mo rito.”
Tumalima naman ang magandang babae. Nakangising sinundan ito ng tingin ni Alexis. “That’s Vivienne, pero mas matindi ang ireregalo ko sa ’yo. You feel ancient kamo? Itong chick na ’to ang gigising sa natutulog mong dugo, pare. I guarantee, hindi ka magsisisi.”
“I don’t wanna work on my birthday, X.” The geishas might be paid to entertain men, but he wasn’t known among the ladies as a slacker in bed.
“That broad is not gonna make you work. All you have to do is lie down and enjoy the ride. She’s turbo-charged and will take you anywhere you wanna go in no time at all. Baka may matutunan kang new techniques sa kanya.”
He doubted if a woman could teach him new tricks in bed. He’d seen it all, done it all.
Maya-maya pa ay nasa table na nila sina Blue at Marco. “Happy birthday, pare!” halos panabay na bati ng mga ito sa kanya.
“O, may napili na ba kayo?” tanong ni Alexis sa mga ito.
“These new girls are so hot, X. Mauubusan yata ako ng lakas dito. They’re insatiable. I had this chick named Minerva. Pare, wow, unbelievable!” litanya ni Blue habang nagsasalin ng inumin sa baso.
“Why, what does she do?” curious na tanong ni Marco.
“Mapapahiya ka, pare. Nanginig ang mga tuhod ko sa isang ’yon. I couldn’t make her come. She’s not normal.”
“No shit?” Naintriga na si Marco.
Alexis chuckled. “Ah, maybe you haven’t found her trigger point yet, Blue.”
“Believe me, pare, lahat ginawa ko na, ayaw bumigay.”
“Lick her toes first. That will turn her on like nothing else.”
“Her toes? That’s it?!” Hindi makapaniwala si Blue.
“Uh-huh.” Alexis smiled wickedly. “Her clit’s her toes.”
“Fuck, matindi pa ’yon sa pinakamahirap na code na ni-hack ko.”
Tawanan.
“Luck, pare, bakit tahimik ka riyan,” pukaw ni Marco sa kanya.
“Let’s give a toast to the birthday boy!” ani Alexis.
Dinampot nila ang kanya-kanyang baso at idinikit sa isa’t isa.
“To Lucky’s luck in women, may it never run out!” si Alexis.
“Hear! Hear!” sabay-sabay nilang tinungga ang mga alak.
May sinenyasan si Alexis. Lumapit ang isang napakagandang babae sa grupo nila, tumabi sa kanya. Naka-puting flowing white gown ito na may kanipisan, nakalugay ang mahabang buhok. Mistulang dyosa ito ng Greek Mythology dahil sa costume nito.
“This is Sabina. Sab, Lucky, “ pagpapakilala sa kanila ni Alexis.
“Hello, Lucky. Will I get lucky tonight?” Malamyos ang tinig ng geisha, kalkulado ang bawat galaw ng makurbang katawan, ang bawat tingin, ang bawat kibot ng bibig.
Humagalpak ng tawa si Alexis. “Ah, babe, I hope you will,” anito kay Sabina at saka tumayo na. “Come on, you two. Let’s go to the game room. Hayaan na natin si Lucky kay Sab. He’s in great hands. Happy birthday again, pare. Enjoy!”
They all left laughing rambunctiously.
Dumekwatro si Sabina, lumitaw sa slit ng damit nito ang makikinis na mga hita. “What would you like to have, Lucky?” mapanuksong tanong nito.
Na-amuse siya sa klase ng pang-aakit na ginagawa nito. Mukhang na-train nang husto ni Alexis sa art of seduction.
“What can you offer, Sab?” he drawled lazily.
“What do you want? Tell me and it shall be yours.” Her voice turned an octave lower, almost a whisper.
She was turning him on. Marunong itong mang-akit nang hindi garapal.
Dinala niya ito sa kanyang suite sa second floor ng club.
“Can you please play some music?” hiling nito.
Lumapit siya sa isang cabinet na kung saan naka-house ang stereo system ng suite niya. He had a series of songs remixed just for sex. He played his usual opening song. To get her in the mood for some rough play later, he played “I Touch Myself” by Divinyls. The singer’s husky voice could get any woman in the sex zone.
Just the desired effect he needed, she smiled when she heard the lyrics. Nagsimula itong sumayaw.
He sat on a sofa and watched her strut her stuff, swaying her body to the sensual tune.
By the time the song faded to Closer by Nine Inch Nails, he was already hard and raring to go.
She dropped on all fours on the floor and crawled towards him like a feline. She sat between his spread legs, eying his hard-on. Her fingers crept up his thighs, inching towards his zipper. There was a huge bulge between his legs. He grinned as she unzipped his pants, unveiling his cock.
“Ohhh my god…!” she gasped as his erection sprang up in front of her face, thick and hard.
“Yeah, baby, what are you gonna do with that?” he teased her.
She grinned naughtily, licking her lips. “How lucky can I get?”
“Very lucky.”
Just as she gripped his cock in her hands, his phone went off. The familiar ringtone totally killed his buzz. He groaned in frustration, pulling it out of his pants’ pocket. Hindi niya alam kung magagalit o ano. Wrong timing talaga palagi ang babaing ’yon.
Sabina was about to suck him. Nakatingin ito sa kanya, naghihintay kung anong gagawin niya. Her hand started to move up and down his shaft.
He gritted his teeth, trying to calm his balls. Tumigil sandali ang pag-ring ng cellphone, pero muling tumunog. Napilitan siyang sagutin ’yon.
“Kate.” He tried to make his breathing even. Baka mahalata nito kung anong ginagawa niya.
“Happy birthday to you…happy birthday to you…”
He laughed. Kahit na frustrated siya dahil iniistorbo nito palagi ang sex life niya, hindi niya maitanggi ang sayang lumukob sa kanya nang marinig ang boses nito. Kung alam lang nito ang hitsura niya ngayon. His cock was about to get sucked and he was chatting with her on the fucking phone. “Ah, Kate…”
Hindi maitago ni Sabina ang pagkadismaya. She let go of his cock and remained on her knees before him, waiting like an obedient girl.
“Punta ka na rito. We have a party waiting for you. Hinihintay ka nina Daddy at Mommy.”
Natawa ulit siya. It was hilarious. Between a party and getting off, ano ang pipiliin niya? Blue balls or seeing her? This was really an effing joke.
“Hoy, bakit ka tawa nang tawa diyan?”
“Wala… Wala lang.”
“Hihintayin kita, ha?”
He sighed. Like always, it was no contest. “Sige, papunta na ako.”
Nang wala na si Kate sa linya, hinaplos niya ang mukha ni Sabina. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
She sighed, moving away from him. Papadalhan na lamang niya ito ng mamahaling regalo.
He stood up and tucked himself back into his pants. He winced as he had difficulty zipping up. He hoped his boner would be gone by the time he arrived at the Deleste residence.
Nailing siya. Yeah. Story of his life. Boy Interrupted.
SINALUBONG ni Kate si Lucky sa foyer ng kanilang mansiyon. Paakyat ito sa steps ng portico. Lumundag siya sa mga bisig nito nang walang takot at pangingimi. As always, he caught her in his strong arms. Niyakap niya ito nang mahigpit.
“Happy birthday, Luck!”
“Thank you, angel. Masyado mo naman akong nire-remind sa edad ko.” Malapad ang ngiti nito sa kanya.
“Sus, thirty-one ka pa lang. Ang layo mo pa sa pagiging lolo. Dali na, kanina ka pa hinihintay ng lahat.” Hinila niya ang kamay nito papasok sa kabahayan.
Madllim sa loob pagpasok nila. Biglang bumukas ang mga ilaw.
“Happy birthday, Lucky!” sigaw ng lahat.
Kumpleto ang Deleste clan sa handaang iyon. Halos lahat ng mga kamag-anakan nila ay naroon, lahat ng mga tiyuhin at tiyahin sa ama at ina, mga pinsan at mga pamangkin. Nag-unahan sa pagyakap kay Lucky ang lahat. The entire Deleste clan considered Lucky as family.
The party progressed to the poolside where a lavish banquet was laid out. Tables were scattered around the pool and in the well-manicured lawn. Masaya at maingay ang lahat habang kumakain. Pagkatapos ay nagkanya-kanya nang umpukan ang mga bata, matatanda at mga teenagers.
Lucky spent an hour chatting her parents up. Tawa nang tawa ang Mommy at Daddy niya sa mga sinasabi nito. They really loved him.
Later that night, nagkasarilinan sila ni Lucky. Umupo sila sa isang bench di-kalayuan sa iba.
“Tinawagan ka na ba ni Tita Becca?” tanong niya rito.
“Yep. Binati niya ako earlier today. Nasa Italy silang mag-asawa.”
Alam niyang labis itong nalulungkot dahil magkalayo ito at ang ina nito. Nalulungkot siya para rito dahil alam niya kung gaano kasaya ang may pamilyang nag-aalala at nag-aaruga katulad ng sa kanya. Kaya naman ginagawa niya ang lahat upang mapunan man lang ang pangungulila nito sa ina sa paraang kaya niya.
Magkahawak-kamay silang naglakad-lakad sa paligid ng mansiyon. Her mother’s gardens were really magical at night with all the ambient lights. She loved moments like this with Lucky. She felt at peace, secure and contented. Sana ay ganoon din sila palagi ni Nico.
Medyo bumigat ang pakiramdam niya nang maalala ang nobyo. Masyadong abala si Nico sa mga negosyo nito. Halos wala itong panahong maiukol sa kanya. Iniisip na lamang niyang magbabago naman ang lahat kapag nakasal na sila. Mas pagtutuunan na siguro nito ang pagbuo ng kanilang pamilya kaysa sa mga kompanya nito. Sana nga…
“Thanks for the wonderful evening, Kate,” ani Lucky. His eyes were full of appreciation.
She squeezed his hand affectionately. “Wala ’yon. You’re part of my family, Luck. It’s always our pleasure.”
He smiled, his eyes bathing her in love.
Bakit kaya hindi ganito si Nico?
LUMIPAS NA NAMAN ang isang taon sa buhay niya. Ang totoo, ayaw niyang lumipas ang panahon. Ayaw niyang umusad ang oras patungo sa bagay na kinakatakutan niyang mangyari. Anything that would remind him of time moving or running out, he detested. Including his birthday.
Nakatingin si Lucky sa kalawakan ng Makati skyline mula sa balkonahe ng kanyang penthouse sa Hotel de Angelo. He didn’t even get laid tonight. But did he really want to? Sabina would have given him a momentary sexual release. All those women always gave him momentary pleasures. Panandalian. Pansamantala. Naglalaho. Nawawala.
Isang ngiti lang ni Kate ay kaya niyang ipagpalit ang anumang ginagawa niya. Christ, he could even manage to forego a climax if she called and needed his presence immediately. Isang napakalaking kagaguhan. No woman should have this kind of power over a man. Hindi makatarungan. Nakakababa ng pride at dignidad.
And the irony of it all was, she didn’t even know it!
How had he come to this? Nasa kanya na ang lahat ng bagay na pwedeng makamtan ng isang lalaki sa kanyang edad. He probably had more. Wealth. Power. Influence. He had so much. And yet he had nothing. He felt empty.
Napatingala siya sa langit. Gusto niyang itanong sa kung sinumang pinakamakapangyarihang elemento na nagsadlak sa kanya sa purgatoryong kinalalagyan…
Bakit ibinigay mo sa akin ang lahat maliban sa isa? Isang bagay lang ang gusto ko. Ibibigay ko ang lahat ng meron ako, makamtan ko lamang ito. Bakit ayaw mong ibigay? All I want is Kate. Why are you doing this to me?
3
PLAY SOUNDTRACK
WALA SA LOOB NA NAKAMASID si Lucky sa nagaganap sa kanyang casino na kita mula sa one-way glass windows ng mezzanine office niya sa 28th floor ng Hotel de Angelo. Ang naturang hotel ang flagship ng kanyang chain of five-star hotels na nagkalat sa mga key cities ng bansa at sa ilang parte ng Asia.
He felt anxious. Kanina pa siya hindi mapakali. Ngayong araw ay malalaman niya ang totoo tungkol kay Nico. Pero parang ayaw naman niyang malaman.
He’d always been decisive. Siya iyong tipong pag may problema, gusto niyang aksiyonan agad. Pero pagdating sa bagay na ito, pakiramdam niya’y nasa isang crossroad siya. Hindi niya alam paano tumawid o kung saan siya pupunta.
Sa wakas ay tumunog ang buzzer sa pinto ng kanyang office. Naka-code ang tunog ng buzzer base sa fingerprint ng nasa labas ng pinto. Ilang tao lang ang pwedeng pumasok sa opisina niya sa casino. Kilala niya kung sino ang nasa labas kahit hindi niya silipin sa security camera. Dinampot niya ang remote control at itinutok sa pinto, sabay pindot sa isang button. Iniluwa ng pinto si Jett.
May iniutos siya kay Jett nitong mga nakaraang araw. Inistorbo niya ito sa trabaho, pero hindi na kasi niya pwedeng i-delay pa ang bagay na ’yon. Time was running out on him.
Si Jett talaga ng nangunguna sa lahat ng operasyon ng SU. Hands-on ito sa lahat ng mga maseselang misyon ng kanilang security agency. He founded the agency dahil hindi pa rin niya lubos na maiwanan ang pagiging militar, pero napakarami na niyang pinagkakaabalahang mga negosyo kung kaya’t si Jett na ang pinamahala niya sa SU. He mainly served as a consultant and financier.
Jett really enjoyed the job pero minsan parang may death wish ito na hindi niya mawari. He defied danger, even courted it. Wala itong takot na sumuong sa mga napakadelikadong mga misyon. Lahat ng mga agents ng SU ay trained sa mortal combat at military strategies sa iba’t ibang bansa. Their operation was not only in Asia, but also in North America, Europe and South America. May mga counterparts at partners sila sa iba’t ibang panig ng mundo.
SU specialized primarily in anti-terrorism, kidnap-for-ransom cases, at mga classified government missions both locally and internationally. Kapag may importanteng taong dumarating sa bansa tulad ng Santo Papa, mga presidente ng ibang bansa, mga visiting royalty at mga dignitaries, sa SU kumukuha ng security detail ang gobyerno.
“Hey, Luck,” bati ni Jett sa kanya. Tuloy-tuloy ito sa pantry at nang lumabas ulit ay may dala ng malamig na bote ng beer. Ibinagsak nito ang sarili sa isang sofa.
“Damn, grabe talaga ang init sa labas.”
“Dala mo na ba?” diretsong tanong niya.
“Yup.” Inilapag nito sa center table ang isang brown envelope. “Everything you want and need to know is in there.”
Dinapot niya ang envelope at tiningnan ang laman. May mga pictures at mga dokumentong naglalaman ng mga impormasyon.
“May private island si Nico sa Visayas. Confirmed. She’s there, all right. Laila San Diego.”
Nagulat siya. Hindi niya inaasahan iyon. “Laila San Diego? ’Yong dating stripper sa Lothario?”
“Yeah, that’s her. Man, that babe was smoking,” nakangising komento ni Jett. “Have you had her?”
Umiling siya, napaisip. He checked the pictures. May mga kuha kay Laila na sumasayaw sa entablado ng Lothario. She was a real beauty. Hindi nakapagtatakang nagustuhan ito ni Nico. Ibang klase ang ganda at sex appeal ni Laila.
Naalala niya ang isang eksena nila ng babae sa Lothario ilang buwan na ang nakakaraan. Nagpahayag siya ng interest na maikama ang babae.
“You can’t afford me, Mr. de Angelo,” sabi nito, tuwid ang mga matang nakatingin sa kanya.
“Name your price, Laila,” hamon niya rito.
“One million. One night,” nakakalokong sabi naman nito na tila inaasahang uurong siya.
“Deal. You will be my slave for one night.”
May satisfaction siyang nadama nang mandilat ang mga mata nito sa shock, pero hindi niya inaasahan ang sumunod na sinabi nito.
“I’m sorry, Mr. de Angelo, nagbibiro lang ako. The thing is, I’m not for sale. No matter what the price. I’m working here to earn my keep. An honest to goodness job. Nothing more, nothing less.” Ngumiti ito nang tipid at iniwan siyang napapaisip.
Hindi man sabihin ay napahanga siya nito. Mukhang may prinsipyo.
Pero ang matuklasang ito pala ang babae ni Nico…shit.
Hindi niya alam kung ano ang mararamdaman. Galit siya kay Nico na ginagago nito si Kate. Okay lang sa kanya na sa Lothario nagpaparaos si Nico ng libog nito noon. It made him feel relieved na hindi nito ginagalaw si Kate. Pero ang malamang may ibinahay na ito? Ibang usapan ’yon. Ayaw niyang isipin kung gaano masasaktan si Kate kapag nalaman nito ang totoo. Ayaw niyang masaktan ito. He would do everything to spare her the pain.
He’d already heard the rumors about Nico seeing another woman outside of Lothario, and though he had a feeling it was true, hindi naman niya inaasahang seseryosohin ni Nico ang kung sinumang babaing ’yon. And he had never seen real evidence. Until now.
Pero…Bakit parang natutuwa siya? Tang-ina, ano ang gagawin niya sa natuklasan niya?
Catch 22 if he ever saw one.
HELLO, ANGEL.“
Nagliwanag ang mukha ni Kate nang makita siya. She rushed toward him.
“Luck! I was just going to call you. May ESP ka yata, ah!” She gave him a warm hug.
Pinigil niya ang hininga sa pagkakataong ito. Ayaw niyang malanghap nang husto ang bango nito. Buong araw na mapapagkit sa ilong niya iyon at madi-dsitract na naman siya sa mga bagay na dapat niyang gawin.
“Hmm, mukhang may kailangan ka na naman, ah. Tell me, a new car?”
“Hindi ’no! I love my red Corvette. Iyon pa rin ang favorite ko na gift mo sa akin.”
I could give you more, Kate. So much more. Hindi lang materyal na bagay.
“So, anong meron, babe? Bakit excited ka masyado?” Inakbayan niya ito.
“Halika, may ipapakita ako sa ’yo.” Hinila siya nito papasok sa opisina ng Katrina’s Closet, ang designer boutique nito sa Rockwell Center.
The store carried several brands from upcoming local designers. Kate wanted her store to build up new talents, pave the way for their products to be exported in other countries. Ganoon ang vision ng Katrina’s Closet, at bilib siya sa business model na binuo ni Kate. Kumikita ang boutique nito, lumalaki, at ngayon ay nagbabalak itong mag-expand. He loved it that she started her business from scratch and was able to make it grow. Excited siya para dito and would support her in any way he could.
“Sit down,” muwestra nito sa isang sofa.
“Yes, ma’am.” Nangingiting tumalima siya.
“Close your eyes.”
Umungol siya. “You know I hate surprises.”
Tumawa ito. “Soldier’s habit, huh?”
“Pumikit siya. “Right.”
Lumipas ang ilang segundo.
“Now, open your eyes.”
Nang dumilat siya, isang sketch pad ang tumambad sa kanya na may nakaguhit sa gitna. Isang long gown. Pakiramdam niya’y bumagal ang pitik ng pulso niya at lumapot ang dugo niya. He was immobilized. “What’s that?” he managed to say.
“It’s my wedding dress! I’ve decided na ako na lang ang magde-design ng gown ko sa kasal namin ni Nico. So, what do you think of this one?”
“K-kasal?” Halos hindi lumabas iyon sa lalamunan niya.
Her eyes were lit, incandescent. “Yes! I’m getting married! Finally!”
Wala siyang masabi. Nablangko siya. He didn’t expect this to happen so soon. Kahit alam niyang mangyayari iyon sooner or later, he was never prepared for it really.
“And guess what, gusto kong ikaw at si Daddy ang maghahatid sa akin sa altar. Huwag kang tatanggi!”
Parang may bumara na sa lalamunan niya. “Kate…bakit ako?”
“Because of you, my father is alive and still with us. If not for you, hindi ko alam ang maaaring nangyari kay Dad. Alam na ni Daddy ang tungkol dito at payag na payag siya.”
“I…” Was this a sick joke? Pinaglalaruan yata siya ng tadhana.
“So, what do you think of this? Hindi ba masyadong sexy? Sa tingin mo, bagay sa akin ’to? Magugustuhan kaya ito ni Nico?”
Bigla siyang tumayo. She actually called me for this?!
He felt panic seizing his entire system.
Her face fell. “You don’t like it?”
“No, uhh…I mean you will surely look great in it, angel.” It took everything in him to say that.
“Hmp, biased ka naman, eh. Pero sige, I trust your judgment naman.” Tinitigan siya nito. “Hey, are you okay, Luck?” Dinama nito ang noo niya. “May dinaramdam ka ba? You look pale all of a sudden.”
Gusto niyang ibiling ang mukha. Ah, baby, don’t do that. Don’t make me want you more. Don’t touch me like this when you’re so fucking excited to marry another man.
“I’m okay. Listen, hindi ako magtatagal. May meeting ako with a group of businessmen. I need to go,” pag-iwas niya.
He needed to get out of there. Palayo dito. He couldn’t bear to be near her at that moment. He felt too vulnerable. Baka mahalata siya nito.
“Akala ko pa naman sabay tayong mag-lunch,” nakalabing maktol nito.
“I’m sorry, babe. Next time na lang, I promise.”
“Okay. Call me later?” Malambing na yumakap ito sa baywang niya.
“Of course. Bye.”
He kissed her cheek and walked away. Parang sinisilihan ang pakiramdam niya. Sa parking lot ay tinawagan niya si Jett.
“This coming Sunday, Luck, he’s definitely going to be there,” anito agad na alam na ang gusto niyang marinig.
“Ihanda mo ang chopper. Pupuntahan natin ang isla sa Linggo.”
“Okay.”
He cut off the call. Sumandal siyang parang sobrang napagod sa backrest ng kanyang sports car. Naririnig pa niya ang tinig ni Kate. Siya raw at ang Daddy nito ang maghahatid dito sa altar.
He shook his head. Napaka-pathetic na ng sitwasyon niya. Talaga namang nakakabaliw na sa sobrang ironic ang mga nangyayari.
NAPATINGIN SI KATE sa bumukas na pinto ng kanyang silid.
“O, hija, hatinggabi na, gising ka pa rin?”
“Hi , Mom, tinatapos ko lang po ang list of sponsors namin ni Nico, saka ’yong list ng mga invitees. Ayokong may makaligtaang mga kamag-anak o mga kaibigan,” paliwanag niya sa ina.
Tinabihan siya ng Mommy niya sa kama at niyakap. “Anak, are you absolutely sure na handa ka na sa papasukin mong buhay?”
Ngumiti siya, inihilig ang ulo sa balikat nito. “Yes, Mom, I’m absolutely sure. I love Nico. I want nothing in this world than to be his wife, the mother of his children, ang mga apong matagal na ninyong hinihintay since DL is still busy racing cars and counting his girlfriends.”
“Okay. You’re of right age already.” Her Mom gently framed her face in her hands. “You’re smart and you know what you want. That’s great, anak. I only want the best for you, you know that. I want you to be happy in your marriage.”
“I know, Mom. Thank you.”
Matapos ang ilang minutong kwentuhan ay nag-good night na sa kanya ang ina.
Nang sa wakas ay nakahiga na siya sa kanyang canopied Victorian bed, hindi pa rin siya dalawin ng antok.
Yes, this was what she wanted, right? Ikakasal na siya sa lalaking minamahal niya mula pa noong teenager siya. Kapag nangyari iyon, siya na siguro ang pinakamaligayang babae sa buong mundo.
Ngunit may kung anong alinlangang pilit na lumulukob sa kalooban niya. Her mind went back to her last conversation with Nico…
“Tell me about your latest baby, Nic.”
Natigilan ang nobyo, sandaling huminto sa pagkain at tumitig sa kanya. “My latest baby?” marahang pag-uulit nito.
Pilit na ngumiti siya. “Yes, the latest object of your intense affection and concentration.”
He cleared his throat and wiped his lips with a napkin. “What…what do you mean?”
“You look tense, honey. Tinatanong ko lang kung kumusta na ang ARCO Chemicals. ’Di ba iyon ang sobra mong pinagkakaabalahan lately?” makahulugang tanong niya. She was baiting him, and she hated what she was doing. But she badly wanted to erase her doubts.
Bumalik sa pagkain ang atensiyon nito. “ARCO is fine. Maraming mga employees ang nadagdag, mga sistema ng operation na binago. Takeovers are hellish.”
“Yes, I now. I just missed you so much these part months. Palagi kang busy at bihira tayong magkita. But I understand. Malaki ang responsibilities mo sa Sanvictores Group bilang CEO. Hindi mo naman pwedeng pabayaan.”
Pilit niyang itinatago ang pagtatampo pero alam niyang nahalata pa rin siya nito.
He reached out across the table and squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry, honey. Alam kong malaki ang pagkukulang ko sa ’yo, but I’ll make it up to you. How can I make it up to you?” May guilt sa tinig nito.
Iyon ang pagkakataong hinihintay niya. Sinunggaban niya iyon. “Yes, you can definitely make it up to me, Nic,”
“How? Tell me, honey.”
“I want us to get married.”
The look of shock in his eyes almost made her lose her resolve. But she went on. This was a battle with an imaginary opponent. Imaginary, but she could feel its force trying to block the realization of her dreams. Hindi siya basta-basta magpapatalo.
“We’ve waited long enough, haven’t we?’ Ang sabi mo noon, magsabi lang ako kung handa na ako. Well, I just turned twenty-four. I’m ready to be your wife now.”
Hindi pa rin ito makaimik. Her heart sank lower to her stomach.
“Nic?”
Bumuntong-hininga ito na parang binagsakan ng buong mundo. “Kate…”
Nababasa niya ang sobrang pagkabalisa nito. But she refused to accept what she was seeing. No! Hindi pwede!
“Nasabi ko na ito kina Mom and Dad. Of course, you will have to formally ask for my hand again. Matagal ng nangungulit sa akin ang Mama at Papa mo, Nic. They want grandchildren now, and I’m ready to give it to them. To you.”
Helpless na tumingin ito sa kanya, parang nasukol na hindi niya maintindihan. Why was he reacting like this? Totoo ba ’yong rumors? Hindi! Hindi siya dapat magpadala sa mga tsismis. Maayos sila ni Nico mula pa sa simula. Ang tagal na nilang magkarelasyon. Binalewala niya ang nakikitang panlulumo sa mga mata nito.
“Shall we set the date, honey?”
Hindi ito umimik.
She panicked. Pakiramdam niya’y nanganganib na mawala sa kanya ang isang bagay na pinaghirapan niya, pinagbuhusan ng pagmamahal at pagpapahalaga sa mahabang panahon.
Nico!“ may kataasan ang tinig na pukaw niya rito. Isinantabi niya ang bulong ng kanyang kusiyensiya at pinairal ang kanyang pride at self-preservation. Hindi siya papayag na masira sila ni Nico ng kung sino lang diyan. She had invested too much into this relationship. Years! Nobody was going to come in between them. Nobody! Hindi siya makapapayag!
“Okay. Ikaw na ang bahala,” mahinang sagot nito sa wakas, na para bang ipinaubaya na sa kanya ang lahat pero napipilitan lang.
Parang pinipiga ang puso niya nang mga sandaling iyon. Naaawa siya sa sarili. God, Nic, don’t you love me anymore? Why?
Nang nagbabadyang tumulo ang mga luha niya ay iginala niya ang tingin sa paligid upang mapigil iyon. Nasa isang restaurant sila, napakaromantiko ng ambiance. They should be dancing, celebrating, swaying to the tune of the violin wafting softly in the air, lost in each other’s love. But all she felt was a vast sea of unsaid words between them.
Bumalik ang tingin niya sa nobyo. Bakit lungkot ang nakikita niya sa mga mata nito? Wala siyang maaninag ni katiting na excitement sa mukha nito; bagkus nakatitig ito sa kawalan, tila limot na ang kanyang presensiya sa lalim ng iniisip nito.
Pero nilunok niyang lahat ang mga katanungan at mga agam-agam. It was a now-or-never moment for her, and she had decided to stick with her man.
She would not ask him anything. Natatakot siyang malaman ang sagot sa mga tanong niya. Ipaglalaban na lamang niya ang pagmamahal niya rito. Oras na makasal sila, gagawin niya ang lahat mapaligaya lamang ito. He would love and desire no one else but her. That, she swore to herself…
And now, she was planning their wedding. She felt alone, but she was determined to fight for what she deserved. She deserved Nico. And Nico deserved her. They belonged together.
Whoever you are, buburahin kita sa utak ni Nico.
Her troubled thoughts finally put her to sleep at dawn.
HINDI MAPALAGAY SI LUCKY. It was funny that he didn’t know what to do before, but now that his worst fear was right in his face about to smash him to pieces, he was now sure of what he must do.
Kung hindi siya gagawa ng paraan, tuluyang mawawala sa kanya si Kate at mauwi sa isang pagsasamang huwad. Nico clearly didn’t love her anymore.
Kay tagal niyang nagtiis. He bided his time hoping na may milagrong mangyari, na isang araw ay mabaling sa kanya ang pagmamahal ni Kate. Malimit namang wala si Nico at siya ang palaging nasa tabi ni Kate, palaging nakaalalay, sa saya at sa lungkot. Pero hindi ganoon ang nangyari. Akmang-akma sa kanya ang kasabihang “Ako ang nagsaing, iba ang kumain.”
Naikuyom niya ang mga palad. Nasaan ang hustisya para sa kanya? Nico did not deserve her.
At sino ang nararapat para kay Kate? tudyo ng maliit na tinig sa kanyang utak. Ikaw?
Yes! Bakit hindi? He loved her. More than anybody else, siya ang may karapatang magmay-ari sa puso ni Kate, not Nico who was having an affair with a Lothario stripper, for pete’s sake!
He hated Nico for what he was doing to the woman he loved. He wanted to crush him with his bare hands, pero ang kataksilan mismo ni Nico ang gagamitin niya para makuha ang gusto. And right now, even against his better judgment, he would use that weapon.
Muli niyang pinag-aralan ang mga larawang kuha ni Jett. Para palitan ni Nico ng isang dancer/stripper lang si Kate, may hinala siyang espesyal ang pagtingin ni Nico kay Laila San Diego. What man would give up a woman like Kate for someone else if it wasn’t for love? Hindi naman tanga si Nico na basta na lang pakakawalan si Kate. She was a prize catch.
Sana totoo ang hinala niya. Dahil iyon ang alas niya.
It was time to play dirty. Hindi man niya gustong gawin iyon kay Kate, wala rin siyang choice. He would not stand by and watch the woman he loved marry the wrong man!
LOTHARIO HEADLINES: DEMON LION IS ON!
Soundtrack
BEAT IT by Michael Jackson
You may have encountered him already in a previous chapter. He’s the older and only brother of Kate, DUERO LEON “DL” DELESTE.
DL is a world-champion race car driver in one of the fastest leagues in the world of formula racing. If you love racing, this is the Lothario for you! His moniker to his fans is DEMON LION. He’s maniacally competitive and hates losing.
But you know, even champions lose big time with the right (or wrong) opponent.
DL will surely meet his most formidable opponent soon, and the track is not something he’s familiar with. He’d be racing on dangerous territory which could cost him his most valuable possession – his freedom.
That territory? LOVE.
Oh yeah, this Lothario is definitely going down.
SOON!
4
SOUNDTRACK
HERE WITHOUT YOU
cover by Jay Smith, originally sang by Three Doors Down
“THERE IT IS, LUCK, white sand all over.”
“Sigurado kang nariyan si Nico ngayon?”
“Yup, he flew in on his private plane this morning.”
So, Nico had this island all along. Alam kaya ng mga magulang nito ang ginagawa nito? Malamang ay hindi. Nico’s parents would surely hit the fucking roof if they knew. Botong-boto ang mga iyon kay Kate.
“May sariling airstrip, huh?” komento niya.
“Yeah. Perfect location. He can fly in and out anytime and no one will notice. Definitely no nosy papz can come in here to sniff on his business.”
Mataman niyang pinagmasdan ang islang pag-aari ni Nico. Si Jett ang nasa cockpit ng SU chopper at kasalukuyan na nitong ibinababa ang altitude niyon, tinatarget ang landing strip ng isla.
May sumalubong sa kanilang apat na lalaki, mga bodyguards ni Nico at sigurado niyang kargado lahat. Magalang silang binati ng mga ito at agad na itinuro kung nasaan si Nico. So, alam na ni Nico na siya ang lulan ng chopper.
Nilakad niya ang daan patungo sa villa nito may tatlumpong metro ang layo. It was a sprawling white structure nestled in between trees. Nagpaiwan sa chopper si Jett.
Ilang minuto pa’y magkaharap na sila ni Nico.
Nagsukatan sila ng tingin. Nasa balkonahe sila ng malapad na villa nito.
“What took you so long, Luck?” There was resignation in his tone as if he’d been waiting for this conversation to happen.
“Akala ko kasi lilinisin mo ang kalat mo bago mo pakasalan si Kate. Nagkamali ako. I didn’t know until recently that you’ve been hiding your dirt all the way here.”
His eyes flared. “I see. Alam kong alam mo ang bawat galaw ko, pero bakit ngayon mo lang ako kinompronta tungkol dito?”
“Alam kong hindi ka naman seryoso sa mga ’yon at na kay Kate pa rin ang loyalty mo. Bilang Ialaki, I understood your needs. Kate told me na hindi pa kayo…” his voice trailed off.
He smiled sarcastically and shook his head. “She told you about that? Close nga kayo.”
Hindi siya nagkomento. Wala itong karapatang mag-isip ng kung ano sa kanya. Alam nito kung gaano niya nirerespeto si Kate at ang pamilya nito. Ito ang may ginagawang kagaguhan, he wouldn’t dare project his shit on him.
Nico sighed. “I was discreet all the time. Ayokong masaktan siya.”
“Alam ko. Kaya hindi ako nakikialam sa ’yo noon dahil confined naman sa Lothario ang lahat. We have a code in the club. Pero iba ngayon, Nic. Hindi ka masyadong nag-ingat. May nakarating na mga balita kay Kate.”
Napatiim-bagang ito, hindi umimik, tumingin sa dagat.
“I’ll cut to the chase. Narito ako para malaman ang totoo mong intensiyon kay Kate. She’s in love with you. Do you think you can make her happy?” diretsong tanong niya rito.
Bumuntong-hininga ito nang napakalalim. Nico looked very conflicted and he almost felt sympathy for the guy. Almost.
“Are you in love with Laila?” prangkang tanong niya.
Nico stared at him hard. He stared back harder.
Then Nico answered in a soft voice, “Yes.” Matapat ang tono nito.
Lucky could feel the gripping pressure loosening around him. “Then you can never make Kate happy. I want you to break the engagement, Nic. Kate doesn’t deserve a husband who is in love with another woman. Be fair to her.”
Yumuko ito at tumango bilang pagsang-ayon sa sinabi niya. “Yeah, tama ka, Luck. Kate is a good woman. She doesn’t deserve a bastard like me.”
The torment he was seeing on Nico’s face got to him a bit. He could almost guess the disaster that was about to hit the Sanvictores clan. Breaking Nico’s engagement to Kate would be a very big deal to both families.
“It’s not your fault, man. You just don’t love her the way that…” he paused.
“That you love her?” dugtong nito sa sinasabi niya.
Nag-init ang mukha niya. Nahalata na ba siya nito? “Whatever, hindi na importante ’yon. You will break the engagement then?”
“Hindi gano’n kadali ’yon, Luck. Produkto ’yon ng kasunduan ng aming mga angkan decades ago. Sagrado iyon para sa aming mga magulang. Alam mo namang matalik na magkaibigan sina Papa at Tito Anton. And of course, you know the business side of it. It’s not just a wedding. It’s a business merger. Hindi basta-basta mababali ’yon.”
He could feel his temper rising. Hindi niya nagugustuhan ang sinasabi nito kahit alam na niya iyon. Nico was still undecided.
He tightened the screw, pressuring him to make a decision right now. “Then marry her. Pero siguruhin mo lang na mamahalin mo siya at magiging faithful ka sa kanya. Dahil kung hindi, papatayin kita,” walang pangingiming turan niya.
Nico froze, staring at him, his eyes narrowing. “Are you threatening me, Luck?”
Hindi siya kumurap. “No. I’m telling you. Man to man.”
Muli silang nagsukatan ng tingin. Obviously, Nico didn’t take threats sitting down. But Lucky would not compromise on this matter. Nico had better take him seriously, because if the bastard would take Kate as his wife only to make her life a living hell, he would personally erase him from the face of the earth without regret. He would make it look like a fucking accident too.
Sa huli ay ito pa rin ang unang umiwas ng tingin. Alam nitong ito ang may-sala.
Dumako ang mga mata niya sa dalampasigan, sinundan ng tingin ang babaeng naglalakad-lakad sa buhanginan. Tinatangay ng hangin ang mahaba nitong buhok at laylayan ng suot nitong damit.
He looked at Nico and caught him staring at the woman, too, his eyes full of longing.
“Don’t even think about it,” mariing putol niya sa anumang pinaplano nito. “Kung ang binabalak mo’y pakasalan si Kate at itago rito sa isla ang babaeng mahal mo, sorry, pare, hindi ako papayag. You can only have one of them.”
Sinuklay nito ng mga daliri ang buhok saka inihilamos ang mga kamay sa mukha nito.
He went for the kill. “Kaya mamili ka ngayon, Nic. Si Kate o si Laila?”
Sa halip na sagutin siya ay tinalikuran siya nito at pinuntahan si Laila sa dalampasigan.
Kitang-kita niya nang yakapin ni Nico at halikan sa mga labi ang babae nang buong pagmamahal. Nakaramdam siya ng magkahalong lungkot at pangungulila sa nasasaksihang eksena.
Nico was truly in love. But it wasn’t with Kate.
This would have made him ecstatic, but he knew it would devastate Kate, and he wasn’t looking forward to seeing that. But he would be there when it happened. He would hold her in his arms when she cried and he would kiss her tears away.
Tinungo niya ang nakahimpil na chopper niya sa airstrip. Maya-maya pa’y nasa ere na naman sila ni Jett, palayo sa lugar na ’yon. Laman ng kanyang isip si Kate.
Baby, forgive me.
“LUCK? Nasa’n ka?”
Sumikdo ang puso ni Lucky nang marinig ang boses ni Kate sa kabilang linya.
Tuwing tatawag ito sa kanya, parang kakapusin siya ng hininga sa suspense. He had been expecting her to call, crying and demanding they saw each other ASAP. Tapos magsusumbong ito sa kanya na break na sila ni Nico.
Dalawang linggo na ang lumipas mula nang pinuntahan niya si Nico sa isla. Nakikiramdam siya kung inaksiyonan na nito ang kanilang kasunduan. Though he couldn’t exactly call it an agreement because Nico didn’t really verbalize that he’d break off the engagement. Hinihintay niyang may mangyari. Inaabangan niya ang pagtawag ni Kate. Pero tuwing tatawag ito sa kanya nitong nakaraang mga araw, masaya ito at mukhang wala namang bagong pangyayaring sa relasyon nito kay Nico. Kapag meron kasi, agad na magsusumbong ito sa kanya.
They had lunch and dinner together a few times this past two weeks, and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Kate was her usual sweet, vivacious self. Busy ito sa paghahanda sa kasal nito na ngayon pa man ay nakalathala na sa mga society pages.
“Pwede bang dito ka mag-dinner sa bahay tonight? Ipagluluto kita.”
Nangiti siya. Kate was a great cook. She took courses in culinary arts. “Anong okasyon?”
“Wala naman. Lagi naman kitang ipinagluluto kahit walang okasyon.”
“Oo nga naman.”
“Na-miss lang kasi kita. Saka may itatanong ako sa ’yo.”
“Ano ’yon?”
“Mamaya na lang pag nandito ka na. Basta ha, dito ka mag-dinner.”
“Okay, see you later, babe.”
Nang matapos ang pag-uusap nila, napaisip siya. Mukhang normal naman ang disposisyon ni Kate.
He ground his molars. Mukhang hindi pa rin kinakausap ni Nico si Kate upang baliin ang engagement nila. Bakit pa nito pinapatagal? The sooner na malaman ni Kate ang tungkol kay Laila, the sooner na maka-recover ito sa sakit na idudulot ng break -up nila ni NIco.
Tinawagan niya si Jett. “Anong balita?”
“I was about to call you. He flew to the island again today.”
His temper shot up. “Tang-ina talaga si Nico! Pinapalala pa ang kasalanan niya kay Kate. She’s already too invested in the wedding preparations. Kelan pa niya kakausapin si Kate? Duwag talaga ang gagong ’yon!”
“Uh, Luck…Bakit hindi na lang ikaw ang magsabi kay Kate?”
“Ako? Bakit ako? Hindi naman ako ang suma-sideline!”
“Pero bilang kaibigan ni Kate, you need to tell her.”
He sighed harshly. “Hindi ko rin kaya, pare. Duwag din ako, eh. Pareho kami ni Nico.”
“Uh…” Natahimik si Jett sa kabilang linya.
“Tang-ina naman!”
“Luck…” mukhang asiwa na si Jett.
“Sorry, man. Keep me posted, okay?”
“Okay. Bye.”
SINIPA niya ang isang armchair matapos kausapin si Jett. Nahihirapan siyang pigilin ang temper niya lately. Hindi naman siya ganito. Normally ay kalmante siya sa anumang sitwasyon. He was trained in the military to be cool under pressure, pero ngayon, short fuse siya.
Buong araw na mainit ang ulo niya. But when it was time to go visit Kate at her parents’ house, napalitan ng excitement ang damdamin niya.
He took a quick shower at his penthouse and then drove over to Kate’s place.
SA POOLSIDE naghanda ng dinner si Kate.
As usual, napakasarap nitong magluto. Maasikaso ito at malambing. Ang isiping mapupunta ito kay Nico, parang nginangatngat ang kalamnan niya sa matinding selos at inggit.
Napansin niyang medyo balisa ito habang nilalaro-laro ang pagkain sa plato nito.
“Bakit ’di ka kumakain?” usisa niya rito.
“Ako kasi ang nagluto, siyempre, nasuya na ako sa kakatikim kanina. Don’t worry, kumain na ako kanina. Busog pa ako. Kain ka lang diyan.”
Ngimiti siya. “Sarap! Pahingi pa ng ulam, babe.”
Muli nitong sinalinan ng ulam at kanin ang plato niya. “Magdo-double time na naman ako sa gym nito.”
“Sus, madaling matunaw ito sa dami ng physical activities mo.”
Nagkibit-balikat siya at nagpatuloy kumain. Pag si Kate ang nagluto, ganado siyang kumain at nakakalimutan niya ang diet niya na istriktong ipinapatupad ng personal trainer niya.
“Sayang ang abs ko.”
Natawa ito. “Ilang pandesal na ba?”
“Gusto mong makita?” tudyo niya rito. Hindi siya pilyo pagdating kay Kate. He knew his boundaries. Pero ngayon, he wanted to blur the line between them a little bit. Gusto niyang pasukan ng konting malisya ang relasyon nila, para makita siya nito in a different light.
But she wasn’t biting. “Luko-luko! Kumain ka na nga. Abs-abs ka diyan!”
Nadidikdik na ang pride niya nang husto. Bakit ang ibang babae, isang tingin lang niya, may positive response agad, at malimit ay nakukuha niya. Si Kate, ang tagal na nilang palaging magkasama, ni hindi man lang siya makita nang lagpas sa pagkakaibigan.
“Kumusta na kayo ni Nico?” kaswal na tanong niya.
“Great! The preparations are coming tegether just fine.” Nagkwento na ito tungkol sa iba’t ibang aspeto ng wedding preparation nito, mula sa wedding gown nito, sa caterers, sa menu, kung saang simbahan, kung sino ang mga ninong, ninang at mga bridesmaids.
Napapagod ang puso niyang makinig, pero nagkukunwari siyang masaya para rito.
Pagkuwa’y huminto ito sa pagkukwento. “You’re bored.”
“Huh? No, babe. Busog lang ako masyado.” Hinimas niya ang tiyan. “Parang sawa na bagong kain. Lethargic. Kasalanan mo kasi ang sarap mong magluto. “
Natawa ito. “Are you done eating?”
“Yeah. Thank you. That was a perfect meal.”
“You’re welcome. Halika, punta tayo sa garden.”
NAGLAKAD sila papuntang garden. As usual, naka-abrisiyete na naman ito sa braso niya at nakadikit sa tagiliran niya. Ganito ito sa kanya, halos wala na itong boundaries. Lahat ng aspeto ng buhay niya ay pinapasok nito nang buong kumpiyansa, dahil alam nitong papapasukin niya ito nang walang restrictions.
“Luck…”
“Hmm?”
She sighed.
“What, angel? “ Mukhang malungkot ito. Baka naman kinausap na ni Nico at magsusumbong na sa kanya.
“May itatanong sana ako sa ’yo.”
“Ano ’yon?”
She pressed her face against his upper arm. “Nahihiya ako, eh.”
“Aba, himala, may hiya ka yata ngayon.”
Tinampal nito ang braso niya. “Seryoso ako. Upo tayo,” turo nito sa bench.
Naupo sila. Poborito nilang tambayan ang spot na iyon sa hardin. Napapaligiran iyon ng iba’t ibang klase ng roses, at ang bango ng hangin sa parteng iyon ng mansiyon.
“Pag kasal na kami ni Nico, maging ganito pa rin ba tayo?”
“What do you mean?”
“Ganito. Magkasama pa rin nang ganito. Nagha-hang-out, kwentuhan.”
“Nasasayo ’yon. Baka seloso si Nico. Ayokong makagulo sa pagsasama ninyo.”
“Hindi naman siguro. Alam naman niyang BFF kita since kopong-kopong pa. Nauna pa nga kitang BFF kesa naging BF ko siya. Sa hierarchy, mas lamang ka.”
Parang piniga ang dibdib niya sa sinabi nito. Kung sana nga ay totoong mas lamang siya kay Nico sa puso nito.
“Ikaw, Luck, mag-aasawa ka na rin ba?”
She caught him off-guard, “Ha? Bakit mo naman naitanong?”
“Baka ma-sad ka kasi pag may asawa na ako, tapos mag-asawa ka na rin agad. “
“Teka…ayaw mo ba akong magka-asawa?”
“Siyempre gusto. Pero…hindi agad-agad. Kung pwede.”
“Bakit naman?”
“Kasi, mag-a-adjust pa ako sa buhay may-asawa ko, tapos baka may problema, sino ang tatakbuhan ko kung may asawa ka na rin?”
He touched her nose. “Alam mo, selfish ka.”
Yumakap ito sa kanya. “Sorry. Selfish talaga ako pagdating sa ’yo.”
His breathing became shallow. His body was reacting to her nearness. “Kawawa naman ako kung sakali, mag-isa. Ako nga ang iiwan mo, eh.”
Tinampal nito ang dibdib niya. “Hey, hindi ah! Hindi kita iiwan ’no!”
Hindi siya umimik. Namagitan ang katahimikan. She was pensive, her fingers idly fiddling with a button on his shirt. It was the sweetest torture, to be so near her like this and not touch her like he wanted to.
“Luck…” pukaw nito sa kanya maya-maya.
“Hmm?”
“Palagay mo, mahal talaga ako ni Nico?”
Shit ka talaga, Nico! Now he was forced to lie again.
“What are you talking about? Siyempre naman. Pakakasalan ka ba niya kung hindi ka niya mahal?”
She sighed. Inihilig nito ang ulo sa balikat niya.
“Ang lalim no’n, ah. What’s bothering you, babe? Tell me.”
“Can men be truly faithful?”
Napigil niya ang hininga. Did she know something? Why wasn’t she venting already? “Oo naman. If you really love each other, that will keep you together no matter what.”
“Is sex really important in a marriage?”
What the hell…? Ano’ng klaseng mga tanong ito? “What do you mean?”
“What if hindi compatible sa sex ang mag-asawa?”
Her sudden shift in topic had his heart beating on double time. “Bakit ako ang tinatanong mo, eh wala pa akong asawa?”
“Kasi ikaw ang maraming experience sa sex, ako wala pa.”
In the history of their friendship, this was the only time she’d initiated the subject of sex in a serious context. Hindi siya sanay na nagtatanong ito sa kanya about sex.
“What are you worried about, babe?”
“Na hindi kami maging compatible ni Nico sa sex. Na hindi ko siya ma-satisfy at maghanap ng iba kahit kasal na kami.”
He could feel his body reacting to her talking to him about such an intimate subject even though she was discussing it in the context of her fiance. But the fact that she was confiding in him made it seem like they were more intimate than her and Nico.
“Minsan tuloy nagsisisi ako na hindi namin ginawa iyon bago kami magpakasal—”
“Hey,” he interrupted her. “Look at me.”
Tumuwid ito ng upo at tumingin sa kanya.
He willed himself to play her gallant, protective knight once again, even though all his instincts were screaming to cross the line.
“You’re a beautiful, smart, talented woman, and Nico is so lucky you chose to marry him.”
“Really? You think so?”
He nodded, swallowing the lump tightening in his throat. “As for the sex…” He touched a strand of her hair. “You’re so incredibly sexy without even trying. You can light up any man like Christmas with just a smile.”
Nangingiti na ito.
“That’s right. Smile, babe.”
“Binobola mo naman ako, eh.”
But her smile was everything. “Yes, that smile is perfect. Nico is a very lucky bastard.” Pun fucking intended.
Tumawa ito at muling yumakap sa kanya. “Basta, huwag ka agad mag-marry pagkatapos ko, ha?”
This time, he inhaled her sweet, fresh scent, torturing himself. Masokista siya pagdating sa babaing ito. “Gaano katagal ako dapat walang asawa?”
“Mga five years.”
“Eh di matandang binata na ako niyan?”
“Sus, lalaki ka naman, balewala ang edad. Hindi ka naman magme-menopause.”
“Lugi ako. Magkaka-baby ka na niyan.”
“Ganito na lang. Hangga’t hindi ka super-duper in love, hindi ka magpapakasal.”
“Okay. Sinabi mo, eh.”
“Ako ang mamimili ng mapapangasawa mo.”
“Ha?”
“Siyempre, kailangang makilatis ko muna. We need to get along from the get-go. She needs to understand from the start that I was in your life long before she entered it, and that she has to accept wholeheartedly without jealousy that we’re close and that we’re BFFs.”
“Si Nico ba ay kayang tanggapin iyan?”
“Dapat niyang tanggapin.”
“Paano kung hindi?”
“Hindi mangyayari ’yon. He needs to accept it. Kilala ka naman niya noon pa. Alam niya na ikaw ang BFF ko.”
He sighed. Hindi niya alam kung maiiyak siya o matatawa sa kanilang dalawa.
Putang-inaaaahhhh!
But he kissed her hair gently, and rubbed her back in assurance that he would always be there for her, no matter what.
When he left her that night with a gentle kiss on her forehead, he felt like the biggest phony on earth.
He was a liar and a coward.
But what could he do? She was both his strength and his weakness.
“ANO BA, LUCK! You’re hurting me!” sigaw ni Klaudia.
Bumalikwas si Lucky mula sa ibabaw ng babae at nagmura. He was pounding her like a fucking animal, unleashing his rage on her, and she didn’t deserve it. Klaudia liked rough play most of the time, but she would also know if he was really into her or he was simply losing his shit and venting on her. In this case, it was the latter. Umupo siya sa gilid ng kama at inihilamos ang mga kamay sa pawisang mukha.
“What’s wrong, darling?” Bumangon din ito, niyakap siya mula sa likuran at hinalikan siya sa batok.
“I’m sorry, Klau.”
“Okay lang. Naninibago lang ako sa ’yo. Are you all right?”
Bumuntong-hininga siya, pagkuwa’y tumayo at tinungo ang banyo. Hinubad niya ang suot na condom at itinapon sa trash can. Naghilamos siya para mahimasmasan.
Hindi niya maiwasang tingnan ang sarili sa salamin. Hindi didn’t like looking at himself in the mirror lately. He hated looking into his own eyes. They showed too much of what he felt inside. Raw. Burning. Pain.
Walang nakakaalam sa nararamdaman niya. At mag-isa niyang itatago iyon sa kanyang kaloob-looban. He would rot with it to his grave.
Naalala niya a few years ago nang maging formally engaged sina Kate at Nico. He felt exactly like this then. Hell. No. Worse.
Lumabas siya ng banyo.
“Come back to bed, darling,” anyaya ni Klaudia sa kanya habang nakatingin sa hubad niyang katawan.
He looked down at his now disinterested member. “Hindi ka matutuwa sa kanya ngayon,” aniyang tinuya ang sarili.
He was usually a machine in the sack when truly in the mood for sex. But not tonight. He’d probably wreck her pussy and not even come. He couldn’t come no matter how hard he fucked her. His body was responding to the dopamine induced by his chaotic thoughts, but he was not on the pleasure zone. He was in the pain zone.
She smiled seductively. “I can bring that big boy back to life in under a minute.” She was always up for a challenge.
Dinampot niya ang mga damit sa sahig at nagsimulang muling isuot ang mga iyon.
Bumangon si Klaudia mula sa kama. “What the hell are you doing?” Ni hindi nito tinakpan ang kahubdan.
“I better go.”
“Are you kidding me?! Lucky, napipikon na ako sa ’yo!”
“I’m sorry, Klau, wala talaga ako sa kondisyon.” Ilang beses na niya itong nadi-disappoint sa kama lately, pero palagi naman itong lumalapit sa kanya.
Binato siya nito ng unan. “Shit ka! Who the hell do you think you are?! You can’t treat me like this!”
Iniwan niya itong nagwawala sa condo nito.
“HONEY , what do you think of this?”
Ipinapakita ni Kate kay Nico ang design ng reception venue para sa kasal nila. Kinuha nila ang serbisyo ng pinakatanyag na wedding organizer sa bansa.
“Huh?” Wala sa loob na nilingon siya ni Nico.
Parang kinurot ang puso niya. Hindi nakikinig sa kanya ang nobyo. Lumilipad ang utak nito sa kung saan.
Inakbayan siya nito, hinalikan sa noo. “Ikaw na ang bahala, honey. Ikaw naman ang mas nakakaalam sa mga bagay na ’yan. Whatever you like, I will surely like, too.”
But she wanted him to participate in her excitement of preparing their wedding tulad ng ginagawa ng normal na couple. Ngunit kahit naroon naman ito sa mga meetings nila with the organizers, parang wala rin ito. Halos hindi nagsasalita at oo lang nang oo sa lahat ng sabihin niya. Gusto na niyang sumigaw minsan para matauhan ito at bumalik sa kanya ang focus nito. He used to be so attentive to her. Hindi man sila palaging makasama, pero pag magkasama naman sila, solong-solo niya ang buong atensiyon nito. Ngunit hindi na ngayon. Alam niyang may kaagaw na siya sa atensiyon nito. God forbid, na may kahati na rin siya sa pagmamahal nito.
“Are you okay, Nic? Parang distracted ka masyado. May problema ba?” hindi na niya napigilang itanong.
Matamlay itong ngumiti. “Of course not, hon. Everything’s okay.”
But you don’t look okay. I don’t feel that we’re okay. Ngunit sinarili niya iyon. Ayaw niyang magkaroon ng anumang issue habang papalapit na ang kanilang kasal. Ayaw niyang mag-away sila o ano. Less talk, less mistake.
Niyakap niya ito. “I love you, Nic.” She raised her face to him.
Hinalikan naman siya nito nang marahan sa mga labi. “I love you, too,” he said, barely a whisper. He used to say it to her with feelings. Now, he could barely put it into words.
But she took comfort in the fact that he was still with her. Iyon ang importante. He was still going to marry her. Whatever issues he needed to resolve outside of their relationship, he must do it without affecting their plans. She must focus only on the two of them, nothing else.
Mahal siya ni Nico. At kapag nakasal na sila, gagawin niya ang lahat upang siya lang ang mamahalin nito habambuhay. Magpapakasal sila at magiging maligaya tulad ng mga pangarap nila dati.
Kung narito lang sana si Lucky… Mas hindi siguro siya kakabahan pag kasama niya ito sa wedding preparations. Pero nahihiya na rin siyang abalahin ito nang husto. Alam niyang sobrang busy ito sa mga negosyo nito. Like Nico, Lucky was the CEO of his family’s vast holdings.
Haaay, kasi naman lalaki ang BFF niya, hindi tuloy niya maobligang samahan siya sa lahat ng mga lakad niya sa paghahanda sa kanyang kasal. Nakakahiya naman kay Lucky.
Sometimes she found it hard to believe na lalaki ang bestfriend niya imbes na babae. Close naman sila ni Karen, pero iba ang closeness nila ni Lucky. He was like an older brother, but so much more than that. He was her knight, mentor and BFF rolled into one.
Hindi siya dapat ma-stress. She must always court good vibes. Good energy would bring good karma. Maging positive lang siya palagi.
Lilipas din ang mahirap na phase ng relasyon nila ni Nico. She was sure of it.
“I’VE BEEN LOOKING all over for you, nandito ka lang pala.”
Tuloy-tuloy na pumasok si Kate sa penthouse niya. May sarili itong susi roon at malaya itong nakakapunta roon kahit na anong oras.
“Hey, angel,” mahinang bati niya rito. Nakaupo siya sa reclining chair sa balcony. Iyon ang paborito niyang tambayan, lalo na kung nag-iisip siya.
Open-plan at moderno and disenyo ng penthouse niya. Si Kate ang nag-interior design at landscape niyon. Mahilig ito sa mga ganoong bagay. Artistic talaga ito.
May Zen garden siya sa malapad na balcony at may lap pool at jacuzzi. It was a mini-paradise in the heart of the city, and he loved this place. Sa gabi, napakaganda ng view ng Kamaynilaan, nagkikislapan ang mga ilaw na animo mga bituing dumapo sa lupa.
It was his domain and it spoke of his great power and wealth, but it was more than that. This place was special to him because Kate had a huge part in building it. May sentimental value sa kanya iyon. Everything in it reminded him of Kate, down to the smallest detail. And this was all he’d ever have of her.
Namaywang ito sa kanyang harapan.
“What’s the matter with you? Ilang araw na akong tawag nang tawag sa ’yo, your phone was always busy and you never returned my texts and calls!”
Isinandal niya ang ulo sa headrest ng recliner, pumikit. “I’m sorry, Kate. Marami lang akong inaasikaso lately.”
“That’s bullshit! You always had time for me, and even if you didn’t, you always broke other schedules to make room for me!” puno ng kumpiyansa ang tono nito. Ganoon ito ka-spoiled sa kanya.
Dumilat siya. “Why, what’s wrong? May problema ba?”
Lumuhod ito sa paanan niya. “Nothing! Everything! My God, next week na ang kasal ko, Luck! I need you with me. You were always there for me, tapos biglang you’re not there anymore, hindi ko na mahagilap. I need you. I’m afraid.”
“What are you afraid of, angel?” malumanay na tanong niya rito.
Hinawakan nito ang mga kamay niya. “Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. I’m excited and afraid, at the same time. Finally matutupad na rin ang mga pangarap ko para sa amin ni Nico, but I’m scared. What if I fail as a wife? What if I can’t make him happy?”
He kissed her hands tenderly. “Don’t be scared, babe. You will make him happy. You’re not only beautiful but kind, loving and generous. You will make him proud, and he will make you happy, too.”
He had better or he’s a dead man. I swear.
Yumakap ito sa kanya, mahigpit. Nalanghap niya ang bango nito, nadama ang lambot at init ng katawan. His heart splintered into a million pieces all over again. If he could only keep her here with him like this, freeze this moment forever…
“Oh, Luck. I really missed you. Kapag nandiyan ka, I know, I’m safe. I know I can do anything. I know that I’ll be all right, no matter what.”
Please, don’t say that, baby. It’s killing me. “Nandito lang ako pag kailangan mo ako. Kahit kailan, kahit anong oras, darating ako.
Nagliwanag ang mukha nito. “May rehearsal sa church mamayang gabi. Last rehearsal na ’yon. Huwag kang mawawala.”
“Kailangan pa ba ako roon?”
“Of course. Gusto ko, perfect ang ceremony down to the last detail. Minsan lang akong ikasal, I want it to be the best.”
KAHIT ANG GUSTO na lamang sana niya ay mapag-isa at sarilinin ang paghihimagsik ng kanyang kalooban, pumunta pa rin si Lucky sa church rehearsal nina Kate at Nico.
Nagtama ang mga mata nila ni Nico. Siniguro niyang nakuha nito ang mensaheng nais niyang iparating dito. You had better make her happy.
Nico’s face was stoic, devoid of any expression. Wala na silang naging komunikasyon nito mula nang huli silang nag-usap sa isla nito. Sa loob ng dalawang buwang lumipas, hindi nito binali ang engagement nito kay Kate.
Naihanda na ang lahat para sa gaganaping kasalan na tinaguriang wedding of the decade. Nasulat na sa mga diyaryo at naibalita na sa TV. Naipamudmod na rin ang lahat ng imbitasyon.
Sa linggo, magiging asawa na ni Nico ang babaing lihim niyang minamahal nang napakahabang panahon. He vowed years ago that he would always take care of her, and he would always do everything to make her happy. Mahal ni Kate si Nico. Just the mention of the bastard’s name brought a smile to her lips. That smile had better remain there after they were married.
Kaya kahit halos ikamatay niya, ihahatid niya sa altar si Kate patungo sa mga bisig ng lalaking minamahal nito.
My dear readers, old and new,
I write because of you. You’re all my inspiration. Thank you for the love, support, appreciation and encouragement. I’m overwhelmed with the warm welcome I’m getting from you all here on Watty. I dedicate every chapter to each and everyone of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Love you all!
PS. I love reading your comments. I’m super stoked that you’re expressive about Lothario and are affected by the characters I created. Keep the comments coming because I enjoy reading them. It amps me to write even more. Hope you guys interact with each other too, discuss with each other and just have fun fun fun! I’ll try to reply to all your comments and messages whenever time permits. Kung may nakakaligtaan akong sagutin, please huwag magtatampo ha. You’re all a part of my Lothario journey. xoxo
~Evie
5
SOUNDTRACK
BAD ROMANCE cover by 30 Seconds To Mars (Orig. by Lady Gaga)
IT WAS HER BIG DAY. Her wedding day. Papunta na siya sa Santuario de San Antonio. Sa simbahang iyon gaganapin ang kanyang kasal.
Butterflies seemed to be flapping wildly in her belly. Her gown was made of delicate lace. She favored the whimsical look for her wedding gown, not going for the typical structured designs. Gusto niyang komportable siya sa araw ng kanyang kasal at makahinga nang maayos. Ngunit sa kabila ng flowing design niyon, parang kakapusin pa rin siya ng hininga. God, bakit ba ako kinakabahan nang ganito?
This was the last day of her life as a single woman. Natural lang siguro na nerbiyosin siya. Mawawala rin siguro iyon maya-maya.
Muli niyang pinasadahan ang sarili sa floor-length mirror sa kanyang silid. Mag-isa siya roon at nasa labas na ang lahat ng entourage niya, naghihintay na rumampa siya pababa sa grand staircase ng kanilang mansiyon. The videographers were waiting to cover her descent. Nauna na sa simbahan ang pamilya niya. Malapit lang naman ang Santuario sa bahay nila. Si Karen lang ang kasama niyang naiwan sa mansiyon at ang mga assistants niya.
She lightly smoothed her hands down the sides of her body. Hindi naman siya fashion designer, pero nagawa niyang idisenyo ang wedding gown niya sa sarili niyang specifications, and it came out really great.
Hindi siya conceited sa looks niya, pero gandang-ganda siya sa sarili niya ngayong araw. Napangiti siya nang malapad saka nagbuga ng hangin upang maalis ang kaba niya.
Bumukas ang pinto ng kanyang silid.
Nagulat siya. Pumasok si Nico at marahang isinara ang pinto.
Bahagya pa siyang nag-blush, but her heart filled with joy at the sight of him. Her dashing groom came to see her at the last minute. Kinilig siya nang sobra.
His tux was perfect on him from head to toe. Ang swerte-swerte niya talaga. Tall, well-built and very handsome, Nico was every woman’s dream, and he would be hers in the eyes of man and God today.
“Hon! I thought you were already at the church waiting for me.”
Hindi ito umimik, nakatayo lang malapit sa may pinto. Napansin kaagad niya ang pagkabalisa sa mukha nito.
“Kate…”
Natunugan niya ang anxiety sa tono nito. Nilapitan niya ito. Up close, doon niya napansing haggard ito, parang hindi masyadong nakatulog nang nagdaang gabi.
“Are you okay, honey?” Hinaplos niya ang mukha nito.
Mahigpit na hinawakan nito ang mga kamay niya, parang humuhugot ng lakas ng loob. Ang sumunod na mga sinabi nito ay parang kidlat na dumurog sa mga pangarap niya.
“Kate…forgive me. Please, find it in your heart to forgive me one day, but I can’t go through with this. Sinubukan ko. God, I tried, Kate. I tried to live up to my obligations to you and my family, but it’s killing me. I can never make you happy, Kate. I’m in love with another woman. Siya ang gusto kong makasama habang-buhay. I never meant to hurt you. You’ve been so good to me, the perfect girlfriend and fiancee any man could ever wish for. But I don’t deserve you. I’m not the right man for you. I’m so sorry.”
Iyon lang at tinalikuran na siya nito. Ni hindi siya nakaimik. She stared at his retreating figure like her whole life was passing right before her very eyes in slow motion, her hopes and aspirations crumbling one by one with every step he took away from her.
Muling puminid ang pinto. The faint sound was like a death knell, the soft clicking of the lock like a crack of thunder. Magugunaw na yata ang mundo niya.
This must be a prank. Or maybe she was hallucinating. This just didn’t happen. It wasn’t real. Inaasahan niyang bigla siyang magising mula sa bangungot na ito.
No, no, no….!
But it was real. As real as the numbness that seized her entire body, shielding her from totally crumbling down in pieces to the floor.
Wala siyang nagawa. Natulala siya. Ni hindi niya namalayang hindi na ulit siya nag-iisa.
“Kate, are you okay, girl?”
Wala sa loob na nilingon niya si Karen, ang kanyang maid of honor.
“Hey, are you being attacked by the proverbial wedding jitters? Halika nga, i-retouch natin nang konti ang make-up mo. Para ka kasing namumutla.”
Parang robot siyang humarap dito. Ang bigat-bigat ng kanyang katawan. Her limbs felt like they’d been manacled tightly. She could barely move.
Marahang pinahiran ni Karen ng face powder ang mga pisngi niya. “I saw your boo kanina. Hindi yata nakatiis na hindi ka makita before the wedding. Gosh, your groom looked so dreamy! You’re about to marry one of the most eligible bachelors in the whole country, my dear. Ang swerte-swerte mo. I’m a cynical bitch, but looking at you now, so beautiful in your wedding dress, mangangarap din akong magkaroon ng happy ending tulad mo. If I can have Lucky, maniniwala na ulit ako sa mga fairy tales.”
Naririnig niyang nagsasalita si Karen, pero parang hindi niya naiintindihan ang mga sinasabi nito.
“There! Perfect! You look so radiant and beautiful, Kate. Bagay na bagay kayo ni Nico.”
Nang marinig niya ang pangalan ni Nico ay mistulang binuhusan siya ng nagyeyelong tubig. Her wits came back in a rush. Adrenaline seized her system. Her mind screamed. I have to get out of here!
“Ahm, Karen, may I have a few minutes alone, please?”
“Okay, just a few minutes. Everyone’s waiting for you. Labas ka agad, ha?”
Tumango siya, pinilit na ngumiti kahit pakiramdam niya ay naduduwal siya. Nang makalabas si Karen ng kuwarto ay nanghihina siyang napaupo sa divan.
Oh God…Oh my God, oh my God!
Her fiance just dumped her. On their wedding day!
Siya, si Katrina DeLeste, unica hija nina Don Antonio at Doña Beatrice DeLeste at isa sa pinaka-prize catch among her female contemporaries in their circle, ay isang jilted bride! She was a society darling, considered a Super It Girl, palaging naka-feature sa mga lifestyle magazines, admired for her beauty, smarts and illustrious breeding, not to mention the eye-popping wealth she’d inherit from her parents one day soon. Perfect nga raw siya sabi ni Nico. Pero ano? Hindi iyon sapat upang pakasalan siya nito. Iniwan siya nito sa ere, sa isang katawa-tawang sitwasyon. Hindi lang katawa-tawa, kaawa-awa!
She could imagine the headlines that would come out of this tomorrow, or even today. Everyone would know in an hour that the groom wouldn’t be showing up. All of social media would be abuzz.
She would be the laughing stock of the entire country. The punchline in all the gossip blogs and news both in print and TV.
I can’t be here right now. I have to be somewhere else when shit hits the fan. In fact, shit already hit the fan!
Tumayo at pumasok siya sa kanyang walk-in closet, hinagilap ang kanyang paboritong shoulder bag. She made sure she had her wallet, cellphone and keys. She ripped the veil from the back of her head. She wanted to get rid of her wedding dress and change into another dress, but she didn’t have time to get out of it fast. It took two people to get her into it.
Palihim siyang tumalilis, dumaan sa back exit ng kanilang mansiyon. Ang entourage niya ay nasa sala lahat, naghihintay sa pagbaba niya.
Tinungo niya ang malapad na garahe sa likuran ng mansiyon kung saan naka-park ang extensive collection ng sports cars ng kapatid niyang si DL. Mabuti na lang at naroon din ang kanyang Corvette.
Sumakay siya sa Corvette, walang ingat na hinila ang mahabang laylayan ng gown niya at isiniksik sa loob ng sasakyan. She started the engine.
“Ma’am?” Magalang siyang binati ni Jojo, and isa sa kanilang mga drivers. Naka-formal attire ito para sa kanyang kasal.
Ngumiti siya nang matamis dito. Ayaw niyang makahalata ito ng kung ano. “Pakibuksan ang rear gate, Jo,” malambing na utos niya dito.
“Eh, ma’am, di ba pupunta na tayo sa simbahan? Ako ho ang magmamaneho. ’Yong Bentley limo po ang gagamitin natin.”
“May pupuntahan lang ako sandali. Huwag kang maingay ha? Don’t tell anybody. May sorpresa ako para kay Nico at kailangang ako ang personal na kumuha niyon. Babalik ako kaagad.”
Kahit labis na nagtataka ay pinindot ni Jojo ang isang buton sa control panel na nakakabit sa isang poste. Bumukas ang gate.
She sped out of there like the devil was after her.
Lumabas siya ng Forbes, kumaliwa sa EDSA. Magaling siyang magmaneho dahil na rin kay Lucky na nagpilit na turuan siya noong 21 na siya. Laking America kasi si Lucky at sinabi nitong dapat siyang matuto upang maging independent siya. Over-protective ang parents niya, pero dahil si Lucky ang kasama niya kung nagda-drive siya, hindi na rin umalma ang mga ito. Lucky had been the one buying her cars for her over the years. This car was her favorite.
Linggo ngayon kaya hindi masyadong ma-traffic. She knew where she would go. Nakapag-drive na siya papunta roon ng ilang beses kasama si Lucky. He let her do that. Hindi ito natatakot na maging pasahero niya and it boosted her confidence.
She realized how boring her life had been. If not for Lucky, baka wala man lang siguro siyang naging mapangahas na adventure sa buhay, kahit simpleng pagmamaneho lang ng sasakyan. She’d been protected like a princess all her life by her parents. Panahon na para mabago iyon. Funny how she wasn’t bawling her shit out just yet. Shocked pa rin siya. Tuyo pa rin ang mga mata niya. Manhid pa rin ang pakiramdam niya.
Tumunog ang cellphone niya. Inabot niya iyon mula sa bag niya at ini-off. No calls for now.
Umakyat siya ng Skyway, tuloy-tuloy sa NAIA Expressway, hanggang lumabas siya sa MCX. It was a long straight drive from there on. Binuksan niya ang sunroof ng Corvette at hinayaang pumasok ang hangin. She blanked her mind of everything. She focused on her driving. Mamaya na niya iisipin ulit ang mga nangyari. She couldn’t wrap her head around it yet.
Not just yet.
NAGKAKAGULO at natataranta ang buong angkan ng mga Deleste at Sanvictores dahil sa nangyaring eskandalo. Nakansela ang pinakahihintay na wedding of the decade.
Sa simbahan ay halos himatayin si Doña Beatrice nang malamang nawawala si Kate. Namumula naman sa galit si Don Jaime Sanvictores dahil nawawala rin si Nico. Kapwa hindi sinipot ng bride at groom ang kasal ng mga ito. Nagmistulang tanga ang mga kamag-anak at kaibigan ng bawat pamilya na pawang excited na naghintay sa simbahan.
Sa Deleste mansion, napapailing sa isang sulok si Lucky. Hindi pa rin siya makapaniwala sa nangyari. Sigurado niyang nakipagkalas si Nico kay Kate sa pinakahuling sandali.
Damn you, Nico. I wanted you to call off the wedding, but not like this! You could have spared her the humiliation!
“Wala pa bang balita, Lucky?”
Tumuwid siya mula sa pagkakasandal sa isang Greek column, pormal at magalang na hinarap si Don Antonio. “Sir, pinakilos ko na po ang mga tauhan ko. So far ay wala pa pong balita. Hindi makontak ang cellphone ni Kate. She probably turned it off. But I’ve called my men to trace the Corvette’s location. Kaya lang ay masusing pagre-review ng CCTVs ang mangyayari. Pero sigurado po akong tatawag si Kate. Antayin lang natin.”
Nanlumo ang don. Isang oras mahigit nang nawawala si Kate. It was confirmed by one of their drivers that she’d left the mansion aboard her Corvette.
Walang nakakatiyak kung ano talaga ang nangyari. Kahit may duda na siya kung ano ang nangyari, hindi pa rin niya maatim na ipaalam sa mga magulang ni Kate ang kanyang hinala. Ayaw niyang malaman ng mga ito ang ginawa ni Nico, lalo na ngayon. It would just make matters worse for both families. Umaasa siyang matatagpuan ni Jett ang sasakyan ni Kate sa mga CCTV footages. SU had contacts within some government agencies for emergency matters like this.
“Baka kung ano na ang nangyari sa anak, ko, hijo. She might be hurt.”
Tinapik-tapik niya ang balikat ng don. Ang shrewd at powerful business magnate ay garalgal ang boses sa pag-aalala sa anak nitong babae
“Wala hong masamang mangyayari sa kanya, sir. I will find her and return her to you, safe and sound. I promise.”
Tumango-tango ito. “Salamat, hijo. We all appreciate your help in all this. Lagi kang nariyan para sa amin.”
Napahugot siya nang malalim na hininga nang makalayo na ang ama ni Kate. Kahit pinalakas niya ang loob nito, siya naman ay halos mamatay sa pag-aalala kay Kate. Hindi niya mapapatawad ang sarili kapag may masamang nangyari rito. Maybe he was wrong, after all. He predicted this outcome wrongly, especially Nico’s actions. Kung hindi niya kinausap para i-pressure si Nico, hindi sana mangyayari ang ganito. But he only did what he thought was right for Kate at that time.
“Kate, please call me, babe. Please God, please…”
MALAYO NA SIYA SA MANILA. Malayong-malayo. Lagpas dalawang oras nang nagmamaneho si Kate. Nakarating siya sa Nasugbu nang mag-isa. Hindi pa niya nagagawa iyon sa tanang buhay niya. Palagi siyang may kasama.
Tinatakbo ng Corvette niya ang Punta del Sol Drive. May villa ang pamilya niya rito sa Nasugbu, pero hindi siya roon tutuloy. Makikita siya sa security cameras ng villa. Sa ibang villa siya dumeretso.
Makalipas ng ilang minuto, lumiko siya sa isang driveway at bumusina. Maya-maya pa’y bumukas ang mga bakal na gate at malaya siyang nakapasok sa compound ng villa. The security guard knew her already. Ipinarada niya ang Corvette sa harapan ng modernong villa at pinatay ang makina. Sumandal siya sa headrest ng kanyang sasakyan. Bigla siyang napagod.
Pag-aari ni Lucky ang bahay-bakasyunang ito. Sobrang tahimik ng lugar. Lucky didn’t use this villa often. May sarili siyang susi sa villa. Kung hindi man susi, kabisado niya ang security code para ma-unlock ang front door. Binigyan siya ni Lucky ng permiso na makalabas-masok sa anumang pamamahay nito.
Bumaba siya ng sasakyan at umakyat sa portico steps. She punched the combination numbers on the security device attached beside the door.
Bumukas ang pinto.
THE MOMENT Lucky heard the ping, his heart soared in relief. He checked his phone and almost wept in relief when he saw Kate on the screen. She just entered his villa in Nasugbu. Naka-sync ang security system ng villa sa kanyang cellphone.
Napaiktad siya nang biglang tumunog ang cellphone niya. Ang pamilyar na ringtone ay parang musika ng Diyos sa kanyang pandinig.
“Kate!”
“Luck…” paos ang tinig nito sa kabilang linya.
“Kate, are you all right, angel? Worried na worried kaming lahat sa ’yo. Nasaan ka? Susunduin ka namin ngayon din.”
“No, no, no!” sigaw nito. “Puntahan mo ako, pero ikaw lang. I don’t wanna see anybody else!”
“Okay, babe, I’ll be there.”
“Ikaw lang!”
“I promise. Where exactly are you?” tanong pa rin niya upang makasigurong nasa Nasugbu nga ito.
“I’m at your villa here in Punta del Sol.”
He could breathe easier now. “Okay, wait for me, babe. I’ll be there in less than an hour. Don’t leave the house, okay? Wait for me.”
“Okay. See you.”
Pinutol na ni Kate ang tawag. Agad niyang tinawagan ang security guard niya sa villa para kompirmahing naroon nga si Kate.
“Kadarating lang niya, sir.”
“Bantayan mo siya. H’wag mong payagang makaalis hangga’t wala ako diyan. Papunta na ako diyan.”
“Yes, sir.”
Pagkatapos ay si Jett naman ang tinawagan niya para maghanda. He didn’t want to drive for two hours to reach her. He couldn’t wait that long to see her again.
Nag-chopper siya.
NAKATINGIN SI KATE sa free-standing mirror sa loob ng guest room. Kung kanina ay gandang-ganda siya sa sarili, ngayon ay gusto niyang tadyakan ang salamin. She felt like the ugliest and most unwanted person on earth. She felt completely rejected. Her self-esteem took a steep nosedive today. Hindi niya alam kung maka-recover pa siya after this.
She was used to having everything she wanted. Lumaki siyang sentro ng pagmamahal sa buhay ng mga taong malapit sa kanya. Everyone adored her. Lahat ng hiniling niya at nagustuhan ay napasakanya. Lahat, maliban sa isang bagay na pinakamahalaga sa kanya.
Si Nico. Si Nico na mula pa pagkabata ay hinangaan at minahal niya. She had put him on a high throne as her king. Pinaghandaan niya nang husto ang araw na maging asawa siya nito. She wanted to be the perfect woman for the man she loved. Pero ipinagpalit pa rin siya ni Nico sa iba.
She could still hear his voice… “I’m in love with another woman. Siya ang gusto kong makasama habang-buhay…”
Ano’ng meron ang babaing iyon na wala siya?
Naikuyom niya ang mga palad, nagbabaga ang mga mata sa mga luhang noon lamang nag-unahang pumatak.
Hayup ka, Nico! Ginawa mo akong katatawanan sa buong bansa! Shit ka! Who the hell do you think you are, you bastard?! I will make you pay for humiliating me like this! I swear, I will make you pay!
Napayuko siya, sapo ang sikmura. Impit siyang napahagulgol.
God, bakit ganito? Pinaparusahan mo ba ako? Ano bang napakalaking kasalanan ang nagawa ko at pinayagan mong mangyari sa akin ang ganito?
Hindi niya matatanggap ito. Napakalaking injustice ang nangyari sa kanya.
She was spoiled, pero kailanman ay hindi siya naging maramot. Ibinabahagi niya ang kanyang swerte sa buhay sa mga nangangailangan. Siya ang chairman ng Deleste Foundation. Siya ang walang kapagurang nag-oorganisa ng mga charity programs sa mga streetchildren at disabled. She was a good person. Takot siya sa Diyos. Kailanman ay hindi siya nanakit nang intensiyonal sa kapwa. She did not deserve this!
PARANG KINUYUMOS ang puso ni Lucky pagkakita sa kanyang mahal. She was huddled on the floor in her wedding gown. Her hair was a mess, her eyes ravaged with anguish, but she’d never looked more beautiful to him.
Pumasok siya sa guest room. Iyon ang silid na ginagamit ni Kate kapag narito ito sa villa niya upang magbakasyon kasama ang mga kaibigan nito.
“Kate…”
“Sinabi mo ba sa kanila kung nasaan ako?”
“I had to, angel. I called your parents on my way here to pacify their fears. Your mother was almost inconsolable, sobrang nag-aalala sa ’yo.”
Tumango lang ito. “Is she okay?”
“They’re fine.”
Nagkatitigan sila. Tumawa ito nang sarkastiko.“ I know I must look a fright.“
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” Ibinuka niya ang mga bisig. “Come here, angel.”
She stood up and ran towards him. Mahigpit itong yumakap sa kanya at umiyak. His chest clenched hard at the sound of her anguish. Guilt assaulted him all over again. He caused this.
He hugged her tight, touching her back, her hair. He wanted to comfort her, to erase all her pain.
Binuhat niya ito at naglakad patungo sa isang sofa. Naupo siya roon at kinandong ito. Lalo pa itong nagsumiksik sa dibdib niya at nanangis. Basa na sa luha nito ang kanyang tux.
“How could he do this to me, Luck? I tried to be the best for him. Pinilit kong intindihin ang lahat ng mga pagkukulang niya, kahit na mahirap para sa akin. Hindi ko siya pinaghigpitan sa lifestyle niya. He was free to do anything he wanted. Didn’t I deserve some honesty and respect as his fiancee?”
Dinukot niya ang puting panyo mula sa bulsa ng tux niya. “Blow your nose.”
Tumalima ito at muling umiyak. “All I wanted was to be the best for him, para maging proud siya sa akin. Gano’n na lang ba ’yon, Luck? Basta na lang niyang babalewalain ang lahat ng mga pinagsamahan namin? Ilang taon ’yon! Hayop siya! I hate him! Oh God, I love him, Luck. I will die…What have I done to deserve this? What did I do wrong?”
“Shhh, baby, it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.” He kissed her hair, rubbing her back.
“Saan ba ako nagkulang? Siya lang ang minahal ko. Mula noon ay siya lang ang minahal ko…”
“He’s not the last man you’re going to love, Kate. I promise you that. He is not,” he whispered softly in her ear.
Ngunit lalo pa itong naghimagsik. “It’s not fair! Why? Why me?!”
He almost couldn’t stand witnessing her pain. He cradled her in his arms and let her cry her heart out, until her sobs subsided and she was just sniffling.
Maya-maya’y tumuwid ito ng upo sa kandungan niya, tumitig sa kanya.
“Sabi mo kanina, maganda ako. Did you mean it, Luck?”
Hinaplos niya ang pisngi nito, pinahid ang mga luha. “Yes. The most beautiful woman in the world.”
“Prove it.”
He froze. “Kate…’”
“Kiss me.”
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry if I’m slow in updating. I’m rewriting/revising scenes kasi kaya ganun. But rest assured tatapusin ko ito hanggang sa happily ever after. Para sa inyo ito, LOTHARDICTS, old-timer man o bagong recruit hehe. Love you all. Don’t forget to vote! ~ Evie
6
SOUNDTRACK
CLOSE by Nick Jonas and Tove Lo
HIS UNIVERSE SEEMED TO STAND STILL.
What the fuck was she asking of him?
Inilapit nito ang mukha sa kanya. “I need you to make me feel beautiful. Kiss me.”
Dama niya ang mainit at mabangong hininga nito sa kanyang mukha. Her softly uttered words were like a million locks snapping open in the deepest part of him that she alone had occupied for the longest time. Ngunit parang napunta rin siya sa isang bagong dimension. This was a totally uncharted territory.
Though he’d always wanted her in the most elemental way a man wanted a woman, it was not the same for her in so many years. Pero ngayon…iba ang ikinikilos nito. Iba ang tono ng boses nito. This was a side of her that he never knew.
“Please…”
Her sweet voice beckoned him like a siren of the old. There was sorcery in her caramel brown eyes, tempting him, luring him to cross the line, to forget his scruples…
Hindi niya mapaglabanan ang lalong pag-iinit ng kanyang katawan. Kung kanina’y tinablan na siya sa inosenteng pagkakadikit nila, ngayon ay parang gasolinang sinisilaban ng apoy ang kanyang pagnanasa, tinutupok ang kanyang konsensiya.
And God, he was just a man. A man who had been wanting her to destruction for so long…and he was at a breaking point. She was pushing him to the limit.
But he reined in his animal instincts. He loved her too much, and that love was far stronger than his need to selfishly possess her when she was at her lowest.
“Kate, I know you’re hurting, baby. I understand how you feel–”
Biglang bumangis ang mukha nito. “No, you don’t! How could you possibly understand how I feel at this very moment? Hindi naman ikaw ang iniwan ng fiance mo para sa ibang babae sa araw mismo ng inyong kasal! Do you know how I feel? I feel ugly, unwanted and rejected! I’m nothing!”
“Ah, babe, don’t say that. It’s not true.” Ikinulong niya sa mga palad ang mukha nito. Ramdam niya ang mainit na mga luha nito. “You’re everything. You’re everything to me, angel.”
Umiling-iling ito. “Oh God, Luck, I’m so broken. Make me feel something again. Make me whole again. Please, kiss me. Please!”
Biglang itong umiba ng posisyon. She sat astride him.
Christ!
She was now directly sitting on his erection, and fuck, she must feel it! That monster was only restrained by his clothing and it was violently hungry for her and she was sitting on it, her pussy just two scraps of clothing away from getting violated.
Her sweet, virgin p*ssy.
Dinemonyo na ang utak niya. Alam niyang malinis ito. It was the only thing that kept him sane all these years, the knowledge that Nico had not touched her intimately yet. And now, she was offering him her virginity. His ultimate dream. And he was trying to save it because he was her knight. He always had been.
Nagdigmaan ang kanyang pagnanasa at konsensiya. He wanted her so much, pero hindi ganito. Magulo ang utak nito. Ayaw niyang samantalahin ang kahinaan nito. He respected her too much.
But f*ck…! Who could still think of chivalry when she was touching him for real? Hinaplos ng mga kamay nito ang kanyang mukha. Mabining dumaan ang mga daliri nito sa kanyang mga pisngi, sa kanyang mga labi. He gritted his teeth. His heart was slamming like a sledgehammer against his ribcage. The newness of her touch was razing his self-control like wildfire.
“Don’t you want me?” masuyong tanong nito habang naglalandas ang mga daliri nito pababa sa kanyang leeg.
Goosebumps erupted all over his body. She was touching him like she’d never touched him before. A woman touching a man. Not her best friend, but the man inside him that needed her like the very air he breathed.
Dumapo ang mga kamay nito sa kanyang dibdib, kinalas ang mga botones ng kanyang inner shirt. Then she was touching his pecs, exploring his body like a mystery that she wanted to uncover.
Napigil niya ang hininga. He was holding on to his honor and yet he didn’t want her to stop what she was doing. It felt so f*cking good and he wanted more…
“You’re so warm…so hard…” Her hands were now circling his nipples.
Oh my. Fucking. Hell.
With the last ounce of decency left in his body, he gripped her hands hard, halting their wicked movements on his body. “No, Kate! Stop this now!” he snarled at her.
She flinched, looking as though he’d slapped her. Yumuko ito, pagkuwa’y hinala ang mga kamay sa kanyang pagkakahawak, tumayo mula sa kanyang kandungan.
Umiling-iling ito, an ironic smile on her face. “You don’t want me either. Just like Nico,” halos bulong lang na sabi nito. She sounded defeated.
Hindi niya kayang masaksihang ganoon kababa ang tingin nito sa sarili. He’d taught her to be confident, to always believe in herself.
“Kate. No, babe…Listen to me…” Tinangka niyang muling yakapin ito, pero iwinaksi nito ang mga kamay niya. Humakbang ito palayo sa kanya.
“I want you to go, Luck. Leave me alone.”
“Angel…”
“Don’t call me that! I’m nobody’s angel! Not yours, not anybody else! Ayaw mo rin sa akin, di ba? So, go! Leave! Gusto kong mapag-isa!”
He felt her slipping away fast, building a wall between them. A wall he was afraid he may not be able to climb kapag pinayagan niyang mangyari iyon.
He acted on pure panic. Tumayo siya at hinila ito payakap sa kanya. He ground his hips against her belly. “Can you feel that?”
Napasinghap ito sa gulat. Then her eyes turned liquid hot, burning his senses, scorching his soul.
“Yeah, I’m hard as a rock. Alam mo bang ganito ako palagi pag malapit ka? Pag nakikita kita, pag tumatawa ka, pag naamoy kita, kahit lang maisip ka. Every time I thought of your soft skin, silky hair and warm breath, I got hard. And every time you looked at me with fondness in your eyes, I hurt so bad. Do you know why? Because I knew I could never have you, that your heart belonged to someone else.That’s how much I want you, Kate.”
Her eyes looked dazed, melting into him. “Then make love to me.”
That should have been the greatest invitation he could ever wish for. But he knew what it was. Nasasaktan ito sa nangyari sa kanila ni Nico, at alam niyang gagamitin lang siya nito bilang rebound f*ck. It hurt like hell to be just a filler when he loved her so damned much, and yet, he was so hard he could crack someone’s skull with this monster of an erection burning a hole through his fly.
She undulated against him, rubbing herself against his hardness. “Yes…I can feel you. You want me. I want you. I’m yours. Take me.”
He stared at her hard, his need for her rapidly clouding his reason. Eh, ano kung ginagamit lang siya nito, rason ng utak niya. Kailangan siya nito at ang gusto lamang niya ay maibsan ang sakit na nararamdaman nito. Ang makalimutan si Nico.
Pero niloloko lang niya ang sarili. He would sell his soul to the devil if he could have her in any way he could. This was a huge opportunity presented to him on a silver platter. All he needed was to bite the apple.
No!
And then she kissed him.
The moment he tasted her lips, he knew it was the point of no return.
Her soft lips pressed to his lips like the touch of a million bolts of lightning, zapping everything else to pieces and leaving only her in his consciousness. Just the two of them.
Nothing else mattered but this kiss.
Iyon ang kauna-unahang halik nila. Sa mga panaginip lamang niya iyon nagkakaroon ng kaganapan. He had kissed her a million times in his dreams, but now, he was really kissing her, tasting her essence.
So fucking sweet. The sweetest lips he’d ever kissed. Her taste went to his head like a shot of a potent upper drug. Hinawakan niya ang batok nito para idiin ang paghalik sa mga labi nito. He opened his mouth and kissed her like he’d been wanting to kiss her for the longest time, his tongue driving in, tasting her thoroughly.
And now he knew. She was his. His mate from the moment he laid eyes on her. It was a primitive claim as old as time only tempered and hindered by the cloak of civility, but now…nothing else mattered but this need to claim her. Possess her.
He pulled her tighter against him, grinding his aroused manhood against her belly as he devoured her lips like a man that had been fasting for days. For years!
“Ah, angel…kay tagal ko nang gustong gawin ito. You taste so good… so sweet,” anas niya sa pagitan ng mga halik.
She was clinging to him, returning his passion with equal fervor. Parang bagong babae ito sa kanyang pakiramdam, ang babaing ito na kung halikan siya ay parang mauubusan at wala ng umaga. But this part of her was there inside her all along. It took someone to make it come out. Not Nico. HIM.
He would unleash all of this woman tonight. His woman.
Binuhat niya ito at inihiga sa malambot na kama. She sighed and moved sensually on the bed, raising her arms, stretching them above her head. Tinanggal nito ang mga pins sa buhok at inilugay iyon sa kama. Parang diyosa itong nakahiga roon, naghihintay sa kanya.
For a moment, he was mesmerized by her beauty, his entire being zoned into her. His core was coiled so tightly with arousal, his balls heavy, his c*ck pulsating madly with every wild beat of his heart.
Nag-aanyayang itinaas nito ang mga kamay sa kanya. “Come.”
Magic words. Kung alam lang nito. She was a paradise waiting to be discovered. To be plundered. His paradise.
Mabilis niyang hinubad ang sapatos at ang kanyang tux. Sumunod ang kanyang dress shirt. Nakatitig ito sa kanya nang walang inhibisyon, iyong klase ng titig na kailanman ay hindi niya nakita sa mga mata nito. Pero ngayon…she was looking at him like she did in his wildest fantasies of her, wanting him as much as he wanted her.
He left his pants on and crawled on top of her on the bed, straddling her legs. He was very close to the edge, but he could still hold it off as long as his hard-on was confined in his pants.
Mabilis ang paghinga nito, tumaas-baba ang dibdib. She was covered in delicate white lace, looking so pure like an angel. Ilang taon niyang inalagaan at iningatan ito? Despite the raging need gripping him, there was a part of him that hesitated to touch her and totally defile her beauty that he’d worshipped for the longest time.
“Touch me, Luck…Make me forget him.”
The reference to his biggest rival awakened a primitive violence inside him. Possessiveness seized him like never before. Buburahin niya sa utak nito ang anumang alaala ni Nico.
She had never been Nico’s. Sa papel lang ito naging kay Nico. Isantambak lang siyang tanga at naghintay siya nang ganito katagal para angkinin ito. Pero hindi na ngayon. Simula ngayon, siya na ang lalaki sa buhay nito. Siya lang. At subukan ng kahit na sinong putang-inang harangan siya…
His animal need took over. The need to brand her as his own. Put his mark on every inch of her so that no other man would even dare look at her and get any horny ideas.
He tore the front of her wedding dress in half, the last remnants of her association with that bastard ex of hers. It was made of a delicate material so it was easy ripping it down to her waist. The sight of her beautiful breasts took his breath away. Wala itong suot na bra.
Pink. Her nipples were the prettiest shade of pink. Ang pinakamagandang pares na nakita niya. Not overly big and enhanced by science, just natural, firm and full. Walang pangingiming hinawakan niya ang mga iyon, ikinulong sa mga palad, pinisil-pisil. Hot fucking damn!
“Soft, beautiful, perfect…” He was leaking prec*m in his pants. He was so hard, and he wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside her, but this was her first time and he wanted to give her the ultimate pleasure before he took his own.
“Luck…” His name on her lips never sounded so good. Nagpapasalamat siyang wala siyang nakikitang kalituhan o alinlangan sa mga mata nito kung ano ang ginagawa nila. Malinaw sa utak nito kung ano at sino ang gusto nitong makatalik ngayon. Siya at wala nang iba. He swore to make her say his name like that every day from now on.
His lips swooped down to lick her nipple. Napaliyad ito at napahawak sa mga balikat niya, napaungol. He smiled and teased the little bud, sucking on it. He squeezed her breasts closer to each other and worshipped her nipples alternately, feasting on them like a hungry baby.
“Oh god…uhmmmm…”
The sexy sounds she was making turned him on even more. She was loving this, and he wanted her to be ready for him. He wanted her so wet and ready for him because he was so hard and thick he knew he’d surely hurt her with his size.
Dumausdos siya pababa sa katawan nito. There was so much of her he wanted to explore. Gumapang ang kanyang mga kamay pababa. He bracketed her tiny waist with his hands, smoothing down her curvaceous hips. Hinalikan niya ang tiyan nito, leaving his saliva on her skin. Napapasabunot ang mga daliri nito sa buhok niya, napapaiktad habang tinutudyo-tudyo ng kanyang dila ang pusod nito.
She was so sensitive and he couldn’t wait to touch her where he was dying to touch her the most. Was she wet for him already? He would find out soon enough.
Itinaas niya ang laylayan ng wedding gown nito, at tumambad sa kanyang paningin ang pagkababae nitong natatabunan lamang ng manipis na puting lace panties. Napalunok siya, lalong nagningas ang pagnanasa. Heaven. Right there, under that thin patch of white lace.
He traced the outline of her sex with his forefinger. Mahina itong napasinghap. Tinitigan niya ang mukha nito. This was an epic moment and he didn’t want to miss this for the f*cking world, the look in her eyes as he was touching her in the most intimate way for the first time. Gusto niyang mukha niya ang tatatak sa utak nito habang pinapaligaya niya ito.
He traced her slit gently. Nahigit niya ang hininga nang maramdaman ang mainit na nektar na galing sa loob nito. She was soaking wet. Sweet Jesus. He clenched his belly to stave off his ejaculation.
Panting, he gripped the sides of her panties and ripped the lace off of her. He threw the little garment away and stared at the sweetest spot of her that he just uncovered.
Ffffck…this pssy. Ilang taon ba niyang pinantasya ito? Pinangarap na maangkin. Nasa harapan na niya ito ngayon. His for the taking. Kanyang-kanya lang.
He gently ran his forefinger over the smooth wet strips of her pssy. Dripping honey for him. It was so fcking pretty he could stare at it forever. He would definitely spend a great deal of time looking at it and exploring it at leisure in the coming days.
It looked so soft and delicate he was afraid he’d wreck it with this monster raring to break free from his pants. It was more imperative now to make her come first before he fully unleashed his animal lust on her.
“Do you know how many times I’ve fantasized about your p*ssy, babe?”
Umiling ito, bahagyang nakabuka ang mga labi at doon humihinga.
“I lost count. And I also lost count how many times I’ve jacked off at the thought of your sweet, tight p*ssy.”
He dipped his finger between her wet slit, finding her clit hidden between her luscious folds. Umungol ito nang napaka-sexy, umangat ang balakang. Her legs were still closed, trapped under him as he sat astride her.
He rubbed her clit, circling the little bud, causing more of her juices to leak out. She grabbed the sheets, breathing hard.
“Have you touched yourself here?”
Nanlaki nang bahagya ang mga mata nito, namula at umiling.
F*ck. “Never, baby?”
Lalo itong umiling. “Luck…ano ba…”
He grinned. He could have squirted his load from this new knowledge. Pleasure was all new to her. He swore to give her an unforgettable first orgasm, even if it killed him. He wanted that honor so badly.
Dumukwang siya at sinunggaban ang dalawang unan at inilagay sa ilalim ng ulo nito. Saka siya tumayo mula sa kama at nagsimulang maghubad.
He worked out rigorously and he knew he looked great. Confident siya sa ibang babae, pero insecure siya pagdating kay Kate. He was so relieved that she seemed to like his body. She rubbed her legs together, flushed with desire, anticipation in her eyes. Nakatitig ito sa kanya nang walang inhibisyon.
“Like what you see?” tudyo niya rito, showing off his ripped physique. He couldn’t believe Kate was staring at him lustfully as he stripped. Kung panaginip man ’yon, ayaw na niyang magising pa.
She bit her lip and nodded eagerly. “Abs to die for.”
Napangisi siya. He paused from unbuckling his belt. “Open your legs,” utos niya.
Lalo nitong isinara ang mga hita, nahihiya.
“Open,” he said in a firmer tone.
Unti-unti nitong ibinuka ang mga hita. Hindi gaano, pero sapat na para makita niya ang gusto niyang makita.
“You’re so wet, baby. Is that for me?”
“Uhmmm.” That whining sound was adorable and sexy as f*ck.
Staring at her glistening p*ssy, he dropped his pants, stepping out of it.
Sumentro ang mga mata nito sa kanyang pagkalalaki, napaawang ang bibig. His cck was jutting out like a weapon of mass destruction from his middle. He was expecting her to bolt from the bed in fright. He’d never felt so hard like this, never seen his cck so thick as though the veins would burst from the hyper excitement pumping through its turgid length.
“Last chance to change your mind.”
He was throbbing for head to toe, his blood rushing through his veins like a storm, his heart pounding wildly, and her answer wouldn’t have mattered. Yes or no, she was his tonight.
But her answer was to open her legs wider.
Damn, who is this hot, hot woman?
Umakyat siyang muli sa kama, gumapang sa pagitan ng mga hita nito. Pinaglandas niya ang mga palad sa mga hita nitong nababalot pa ng puting stockings na naka-secure sa blue garters…Pababa…pataas…Next time, when it was less urgent for him, he would lick her from head to toe for hours. Oh yes, there would be next times. A lot of next times.
She looked so fucking beautiful. So f*cking sexy he couldn’t believe they were finally making love. Her wedding gown was bunched around her hips, but he left it there. There was something so hot about taking her while still partially wearing her wedding dress.
The scent of her arousal drove him mad like a dog that had scented a bitch in heat. He bent and slowly licked the insides of her legs, drawing closer to his ultimate desire.
“You have the most beautiful p*ssy, baby. So wet…” he murmured before opening her nether lips wider with his fingers, exposing her clit. He looked at her face as he rubbed her with his forefinger gently, spreading her juices over the sensitive nub.
Napaungol ito, habol ang hininga. “Luck…”
Ngumiti siya. “Sarap?”
Mabilis itong tumango, mukhang nawala na ang hiya.
“Don’t close your eyes. Watch.”
Then he ate her.
She went rigid and struggled not to close her eyes as his lips connected with her wet folds. The wonder he saw there was everything he had ever dreamed of. This was her first time. He was her first man. She was his. All his.
Pero siya ang napapikit nang tuluyang malasahan ito. F*cking A! So delicious he was instantly addicted.
“Luck, oh my god, Luck…!”
That’s right, baby. Say my name. He ate her like he’d never eaten p*ssy before. Licked her like it was his last dessert before getting executed. Sucked her like it was his only source of sustenance.
He fought not to hump the bed, clenching his core to stop from coming onto the sheets. He wouldn’t come on the f*cking sheets. He would put all his seed inside her this first time.
Nilaro niya ang pagkababae nito hanggang nagdedeliryo na ito sa sarap. Her cries of pleasure filled him with pure joy and the most intense lust. It was a lethal combination. He knew he was a goner for good. He was absolutely ruined for any other p*ssy.
When she came, he drank it all, basked in the spasms of her clit on his tongue, licked the honey of her orgasm bathing his lips.
He didn’t give her time to come down from her high.
He moved up between her legs and positioned his c*ck at her wet entrance. Whitish fluid oozed out of him, but he couldn’t resist rubbing the swollen tip against her slick folds, feeling her little spasms. He drenched his length on her juices.
His heart was practically pulsing in his balls.
Guiding his c*ck to her little hole, he pushed.
Nanigas ito sa ilalim niya, napasinghap.
Nangalit ang mga bagang niya sa sarap na naramdaman habang pinapasok ito. He gritted his teeth as her tightness choked the crown of his c*ck.
Iba na ng ungol nito. Nasasaktan na niya ito.
“I’m sorry, baby…” He didn’t want to hurt her, but it couldn’t be avoided and he was too far gone to stop.
Not wanting to prolong her agony, he lifted her legs over his biceps, kissed her lips and rammed into her to the quick, breaking past the tight resistance, squeezing into her snug depths all the way to the hilt.
Napaungol siya nang malakas nang nasa loob na siya nito.The pleasure of it was out of this world. He stayed still and revelled in the incredible feel of her tightness around him. Napapikit siya nang mariin, his emotions swamping him at the height of his pleasure.
God, I love this woman. I love her so fucking much. Thank you for this moment. Thank you!
She was wiggling under him, trying to adjust to his size. He rained kisses on her face to soothe her pain.
He knelt on the bed and looked at where they were joined. In the soft light he could see the unmistakable evidence of her virginity. Unable to help himself, he dipped a finger on the blood that pooled around the base of his c*ck and licked his finger. The metallic taste mixed with their combined fluids made him rejoice in primitive Neanderthal pride.
Finally, she was his. At wala nang makakaagaw dito mula sa kanya.
He rubbed her clit again. Gently. She was still coming down from her orgasmic high, at madali niyang muling napag-init ito. She contracted around him even tighter, milking him deliciously.
“God, baby, ang sarap niyan,” ungol niya.
She smiled and did it again.
He grinned, rubbing her faster. “Hindi na masakit?”
“Uhmmm. I don’t know…It hurts, but it feels…you’re so…I feel so full of you and…yes, don’t stop…”
He pulled away slowly and entered slowly again, getting her accustomed to his girth. She moved with him, learning the rhythm quickly. So fucking good.
“Okay now? Still hurt?”
“Just a little. Oh, Luck…please, don’t stop…”
Feeling her sweet response, he framed her face in his palms and uttered with absolute possessiveness.
“Akin ka lang. You hear me? Akin lang.”
Then he kissed her, driving his tongue down her throat as he surged in and out of her again and again, unleashing the monstrous need inside him to run wild and free.
She clung to him tightly, wrapping her legs and arms around him as she took the full impact of his thrusts.
“Yes…oh Luck, yes!”
The rest of the world ceased to exist but her…her wet heat enveloping him from the inside out, her intoxicating scent surrounding him, her softness, her taste, her heavenly voice that chanted his name…
“So good, baby. So good…!”
He pounded into her with all of him, giving her everything he got.
He felt her come again just a second before he hit the point of inevitable. And then he was coming like he never did before, groaning like he was dying, filling her with the hot bursts of his pleasure. He ground his hips hard against her to deliver his seed home. He wanted to leave a more lasting mark on her than just his cum.
He wanted his baby in her belly.
The very thought heightened his climax tenfold.
LOTHARDICTS! Sorry to keep you all waiting. I rewrote this LS, that’s why. But it’s still before midnight so I’m still on sched. This may be a bit racy than the orig LS. Just to give you a new feel. I wrote it more on the emotional side, to make it more romantic than sexual. Lucky is so effing in love to the point of katangahan. May ganyan talagang umibig. Hope you enjoyed it. This is for you my old Lothardics and my new readers here on Watty. Thank you all for the support. Pasensiya pag may typos ha. Edit ko na lang later. I only had half a day to do this. I have a life too aside from writing haha LOVE U ALL! ~Eve
6.1
SOUNDTRACK
CLOSE by Nick Jonas and Tove Lo
HIS UNIVERSE SEEMED TO STAND STILL.
What the f*ck was she asking of him?
Inilapit nito ang mukha sa kanya. “I need you to make me feel beautiful. Kiss me.”
Dama niya ang mainit at mabangong hininga nito sa kanyang mukha. Her softly uttered words were like a million locks snapping open in the deepest part of him that she alone had occupied for the longest time. Pero parang napunta rin siya sa isang bagong dimension. This was a totally uncharted territory.
Though he’d always wanted her in the most elemental way a man wanted a woman, it was not the same for her in so many years. Pero ngayon…iba ang ikinikilos nito. Iba ang tono ng boses nito. This was a side of her that he never knew.
“Please…”
Her sweet voice beckoned him like a siren of the old. There was sorcery in her caramel brown eyes, tempting him, luring him to cross the line, to forget his scruples…
Hindi niya mapaglabanan ang lalong pag-iinit ng kanyang katawan. Kung kanina’y tinablan na siya sa inosenteng pagkakadikit nila, ngayon ay parang gasolinang sinisilaban ng apoy ang kanyang pagnanasa, tinutupok ang kanyang konsensiya.
And God, he was just a man. A man who had been wanting her to destruction for so long…and he was at a breaking point. She was pushing him to the limit.
But he reined in his animal instincts. He loved her too much, and that love was far stronger than his need to selfishly possess her when she was at her lowest.
“Kate, I know you’re hurting, baby. I understand how you feel–”
Biglang bumangis ang mukha nito. “No, you don’t! How could you possibly understand how I feel at this very moment? Hindi naman ikaw ang iniwan ng fiance mo para sa ibang babae sa araw mismo ng inyong kasal! Do you know how I feel? I feel ugly, unwanted and rejected! I’m nothing!”
“Ah, babe, don’t say that. It’s not true.” Ikinulong niya sa mga palad ang mukha nito. Ramdam niya ang mainit na mga luha nito. “You’re everything. You’re everything to me, angel.”
Umiling-iling ito. “Oh God, Luck, I’m so broken. Make me feel something again. Make me whole again. Please, kiss me. Please!”
Biglang itong umiba ng posisyon. She sat astride him. Christ!
She was now directly sitting on his erection, and fck, she must feel it! That monster was only restrained by his clothing and it was violently hungry for her and she was sitting on it, her pssy just two scraps of clothing away from getting violated.
Her sweet, virgin p*ssy.
Dinemonyo na ang utak niya. Alam niyang malinis ito. It was the only thing that kept him sane all these years, the knowledge that Nico had not touched her intimately yet. And now, she was offering him her virginity. His ultimate dream. And he was trying to save it because he was her knight. He always had been.
Nagdigmaan ang kanyang pagnanasa at konsensiya. He wanted her so much, pero hindi ganito. Magulo ang utak nito. Ayaw niyang samantalahin ang kahinaan nito. He respected her too much.
But damn, who could still think of chivalry when she was touching him for real? Hinaplos ng mga kamay nito ang kanyang mukha. Mabining dumaan ang mga daliri nito sa kanyang mga pisngi, sa kanyang mga labi. He gritted his teeth. His heart was slamming like a sledgehammer against his ribcage. The newness of her touch was razing his self-control like wildfire.
“Don’t you want me?” masuyong tanong nito habang naglalandas ang mga daliri nito pababa sa kanyang leeg.
Goosebumps erupted all over his body. She was touching him like she’d never touched him before. A woman touching a man. Not her best friend, but the man inside him that needed her like the very air he breathed.
Dumapo ang mga kamay nito sa kanyang dibdib, kinalas ang mga botones ng kanyang inner shirt. Then she was touching his pecs, exploring his body like a mystery that she wanted to uncover.
Napigil niya ang hininga. He was holding on to his honor and yet he didn’t want her to stop what she was doing. It felt so good and he wanted more…
“You’re so warm…so hard…” Her hands were now circling his nipples.
Oh my. F*cking. Hell.
With the last ounce of decency left in his body, he gripped her hands hard, halting their wicked movements on his body. “No, Kate! Stop this now!” he snarled at her.
She flinched, looking as though he’d slapped her. Yumuko ito, pagkuwa’y hinala ang mga kamay sa kanyang pagkakahawak, tumayo mula sa kanyang kandungan.
Umiling-iling ito, an ironic smile on her face. “You don’t want me either. Just like Nico,” halos bulong lang na sabi nito. She sounded defeated.
Hindi niya kayang masaksihang ganoon kababa ang tingin nito sa sarili. He’d taught her to be confident, to always believe in herself.
“Kate. No, babe…Listen to me…” Tinangka niyang muling yakapin ito pero iwinaksi nito ang mga kamay niya. Humakbang ito palayo sa kanya.
“I want you to go, Luck. Leave me alone.”
“Angel…”
“Don’t call me that! I’m nobody’s angel! Not yours, not anybody else! Ayaw mo rin sa akin, di ba? So, go! Leave! Gusto kong mapag-isa!” asik nito.
He felt her slipping away fast, building a wall between them. A wall he was afraid he may not be able to climb kapag pinayagan niyang mangyari iyon.
He acted on pure panic. Tumayo siya at hinila ito payakap sa kanya. He ground his hips against her belly. “Can you feel that?”
Napasinghap ito sa gulat. Then her eyes turned liquid hot, burning his senses, scorching his soul.
“Yeah, I’m hard as a rock. Alam mo bang ganito ako palagi pag malapit ka? Pag nakikita kita, pag tumatawa ka, pag naamoy kita, kahit lang maisip ka. Everytime I thought of your soft skin, silky hair and warm breath I got hard. And every time you looked at me with fondness in your eyes, I hurt so bad. Do you know why? Because I knew I could never have you, that your heart belonged to someone else.That’s how much I want you, Kate.”
Her eyes looked dazed, melting into him. “Then make love to me.”
That should have been the greatest invitation he could ever wish for. But he knew what it was. Nasasaktan ito sa nangyari sa kanila ni Nico, at alam niyang gagamitin lang siya nito bilang rebound fck. It hurt like hell to be just a rebound fck when he loved her so damn much. And yet he was so hard he could crack someone’s skull with this monster of an erection burning a hole through his fly.
She undulated against him, rubbing herself against his hardness. “Yes…I can feel you. You want me. I want you. I’m yours. Take me.”
He stared at her hard, his need for her rapidly clouding his reason. Eh ano kung ginagamit lang siya nito, rason ng utak niya. Kailangan siya nito at ang gusto lamang niya ay maibsan ang sakit na nararamdaman nito. Ang makalimutan si Nico.
Pero niloloko lang niya ang sarili. He would sell his soul to the devil if he could have her in any way he could. This was a huge opportunity presented to him on a silver platter! All he needed was to bite the apple.
No!
And then she kissed him.
The moment he tasted her lips, he knew it was the point of no return.
Her soft lips pressed to his lips like the touch of a million bolts of lightning, zapping everything else to pieces and leaving only her in his consciousness. Just the two of them.
Nothing else mattered but this kiss.
Iyon ang kauna-unahang halik nila. Sa mga panaginip lamang niya iyon nagkakaroon ng kaganapan. He had kissed her a million times in his dreams, but now, he was really kissing her, tasting her essence.
So sweet. The sweetest lips he’d ever kissed. Her taste went to his head like a shot of a potent upper drug. Hinawakan niya ang batok nito para idiin ang paghalik sa mga labi nito. He opened his mouth and kissed her like he’d been wanting to kiss her for the longest time, his tongue driving in, tasting her thoroughly.
And now he knew. She was his. His mate from the moment he laid eyes on her. It was a primitive claim as old as time only tempered and hindered by the cloak of civility, but now…nothing else mattered but this need to claim her. Possess her.
He pulled her tighter against him, grinding his aroused manhood against her belly as he devoured her lips like a man that had been fasting for days. For years!
“Ah, sweet…kay tagal kong nang gustong gawin ito. You taste so good, baby. So sweet,” anas niya sa pagitan ng mga halik.
She was clinging to him, returning his passion with equal fervor. Parang bagong babae ito sa kanyang pakiramdam, ang babaing ito na kung halikan siya ay parang mauubusan at wala ng umaga. But this part of her was there inside her all along. It took someone to make it come out. Not Nico. HIM.
He would unleash all of this woman tonight. His woman.
Binuhat niya ito at inihiga sa malambot na kama. She sighed and moved sensually on the bed, raising her arms, stretching them above her head. Tinanggal nito ang mga mga pins sa buhok at inilugay iyon sa kama. Parang diyosa itong nakahiga roon, naghihintay sa kanya.
For a few heartbeats, he was mesmerized by her beauty, his entire being zoned into her. His core was coiled so tight with arousal, his balls heavy, his shaft pulsating madly with every wild beat of his heart.
Nag-aanyayang itinaas nito ang mga kamay sa kanya. “Come.”
Magic words. Kung alam lang nito. She was a paradise waiting to be discovered. To be plundered. His paradise.
Mabilis niyang hinubad ang sapatos at ang kanyang tux. Sumunod ang kanyang dress shirt. Nakatitig ito sa kanyang katawan nang walang inhibisyon, iyong ang klase ng titig na kailanman ay hindi niya nakita sa mga mata nito. Pero ngayon…she was looking at him like she did in his wildest fantasies of her, wanting him as much as he wanted her.
He left his pants on and crawled on top of her on the bed, straddling her legs. He was very close to the edge, but he could still hold it off as long as his hard-on was confined in his pants.
Mabilis ang paghinga nito, tumaas-baba ang dibdib. She was covered in delicate white lace, looking so pure like an angel. Ilang taon niyang inalagaan at iningatan ito? Despite the raging need gripping him, there was a part of him that hesitated to touch her and totally defile her beauty that he’d worshipped for the longest time.
“Touch me, Luck…Make me forget him.”
The reference to his biggest rival awakened a primitive violence inside him. Possessiveness seized him like never before. Buburahin niya sa utak nito ang anumang alaala ni Nico.
She had never been Nico’s. Sa papel lang ito naging kay Nico. Isantambak lang siyang tanga at naghintay siya nang ganito katagal para angkinin ito. Pero hindi na ngayon. Simula ngayon, siya na ang lalaki sa buhay nito. Siya lang. At subukan ng kahit na sinong putang-inang harangan siya…
His animal need took over. The need to brand her as his own. Put his mark on every inch of her so that no other man would even dare look at her and get any horny ideas.
He tore the front of her wedding dress in half, the last remnants of her association with that bastard ex of hers. It was made of a delicate material so it was easy ripping it down to her waist. The sight of her beautiful breasts took his breath away. Wala itong suot na bra.
Pink. Her nipples were the prettiest shade of pink. Ang pinakamagandang pares na nakita niya. Not overly big and enhanced by science. Just natural, firm and full. Walang pangingiming hinawakan niya ang mga iyon, ikinulong sa mga palad, pinisil-pisil. Hot f*cking damn!
“Soft, beautiful, perfect…” He was leaking prec*m in his pants. He was so hard, and he wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside her, but this was her first time and he wanted to give her the ultimate pleasure before he took his own.
“Lucky…” His name on her lips never sounded so good. Nagpapasalamat siyang wala siyang nakikitang kalituhan o alinlangan sa mga mata nito kung ano ang ginagawa nila. Malinaw sa utak nito kung ano at sino ang gusto nitong makatalik ngayon. Siya at wala nang iba. He swore to make her say his name like that every day from now on.
His lips swooped down to lick her nipple. Napaliyad ito at napahawak sa mga balikat niya, napaungol. He smiled and teased the little bud, sucking on it. He squeezed her breasts closer to each other and worshipped her nipples alternately, feasting on them like a hungry baby.
“Oh god…uhmmmm…”
Hotdamn, the sexy sounds she was making. She was loving this, and he wanted her to be ready for him. He wanted her so wet and ready for him because he was swollen-to-bursting with desire for her he knew he’d surely hurt her with his size.
Dumausdos siya pababa sa katawan nito. There was so much of her he wanted to explore. Babalikan niya ang mga boobs nito maya-maya. Gumapang ang kanyang mga kamay pababa. He bracketed her tiny waist with his hands, smoothing down her curvaceous hips. Hinalikan niya ang tiyan nito, leaving his saliva on her skin. Napapasabunot ang mga daliri nito sa buhok niya, napapaiktad habang tinutudyo-tudyo ng kanyang dila ang pusod nito.
She was so sensitive and he couldn’t wait to touch her where he was dying to touch her the most. Was she wet for him already? He would find out soon enough.
Itinaas niya ang laylayan ng wedding gown nito, at tumambad sa kanyang paningin ang pagkababae nitong natatabunan lamang ng manipis na puting lace panties. Napalunok siya, lalong nagningas ang pagnanasa. Heaven. Right there, under that thin patch of white lace.
He traced the outline of her sex with his forefinger. Mahina itong napasinghap. Tinitigan niya ang mukha nito. This was an epic moment and he didn’t want to miss this for the world, the look in her eyes as he was touching her in the most intimate way for the first time. Gusto niyang mukha niya ang tatatak sa utak nito habang pinapaligaya niya ito.
He traced her slit gently. Nahigit niya ang hininga nang maramdaman ang mainit na nektar na galing sa loob nito. She was soaking wet. Sweet Jesus. He clenched his belly to stave off his urge to unload.
Panting, he gripped the sides of her panties and ripped the lace off of her. He threw the little garment away and stared at the sweetest spot of her that he just uncovered.
Ilang taon ba niyang pinantasya ito? Pinangarap na maangkin. Nasa harapan na niya ito ngayon. His for the taking. Kanyang-kanya lang.
He gently ran his forefinger over the smooth wet strips of her p*ssy. Dripping honey for him. It was so effing pretty he could stare at it forever. He would definitely spend a great deal of time looking at it and exploring it at leisure in the coming days.
It looked so soft and delicate he was afraid he’d wreck it with this monster raring to break free from his pants. It was more imperative now to make her come first before he fully unleashed his animal lust on her.
“Do you know how many times I’ve fantasized about you, babe?”
Umiling ito, bahagyang nakabuka ang mga labi at doon humihinga.
“I lost count. And I also lost count how many times I’ve jacked off at the thought of your sweet, tight p*ssy.”
He dipped his finger between her wet slit, finding her clit hidden between her luscious folds. Umungol ito nang napaka-sexy, umangat ang balakang. Her legs were still closed, trapped under his ass as he sat astride her.
He rubbed her little nubbin, circling it, causing more of her juices to leak out. She grabbed the sheets, breathing hard.
“Have you touched yourself here?”
Nanlaki nang bahagya ang mga mata nito, namula at umiling.
“Never, baby?”
Lalo itong umiling. “Luck…ano ba…”
He grinned. He could have squirted his load from this new knowledge. Pleasure was all new to her. He swore to give her an unforgettable first orgasm, even if it killed him. God, he wanted that honor so bad.
Dumukwang siya at sinunggaban ang dalawang unan at inilagay sa ilalim ng ulo nito. Saka siya tumayo mula sa kama at nagsimulang maghubad.
He worked out rigorously and he knew he looked great. Confident siya sa ibang babae, pero insecure siya pagdating kay Kate. He was so relieved that she seemed to like his body. She rubbed her legs together, flushed with desire, anticipation in her eyes. Nakatitig ito sa kanya nang walang inhibisyon sa mga mata.
“Like what you see?” tudyo niya rito, showing off his ripped physique. He couldn’t believe Kate was staring at him lustfully as he stripped. Kung panaginip man ’yon, ayaw na niyang magising pa.
She bit her lip and nodded eagerly. “Abs to die for.”
Napangisi siya. He paused from unbuckling his belt. “Open your legs,” utos niya.
Lalo nitong isinara ang mga hita, nahihiya.
“Open,” he said in a firmer tone.
Unti-unti nitong ibinuka ang mga hita. Hindi gaano, pero sapat na para makita niya ang gusto niyang makita.
“You’re so wet, baby. Is that for me?”
“Uhmmm.” That whining sound was adorable and sexy as f*ck.
Staring at her glistening p*ssy, he dropped his pants, stepping out of it.
Sumentro ang mga mata nito sa kanyang pagkalalaki, napaawang ang bibig. His hard-on was jutting out like a weapon of mass destruction from his middle. He was expecting her to bolt from the bed in fright. He’d never felt so hard like this, never seen his c*ck so thick as though the veins would burst from the hyper excitement pumping through its turgid length.
“Last chance to change your mind.”
He was throbbing for head to toe, his blood rushing through veins like a storm, his heart pounding wildly, and her answer wouldn’t have mattered. Yes or no, she was his tonight.
But her answer was to open her legs wider.
Damn, who is this hot, hot woman?
Umakyat siyang muli sa kama, gumapang sa pagitan ng mga hita nito. Pinaglandas niya ang mga palad sa mga hita nitong nababalot pa ng puting stockings na naka-secure sa blue garters…Pababa…pataas…Next time, when it was less urgent for him, he would lick her from head to toe for hours. Oh yes, there would be next times. A lot of next times.
She looked so beautiful. So f*cking sexy he couldn’t believe they were finally making love. Her wedding gown was bunched around her hips, but he left it there. There was something so hot about taking her while still partially wearing her wedding dress.
The scent of her arousal drove him mad like a dog that had scented a b*tch in heat. He bent and slowly licked the insides of her legs, drawing closer to his ultimate desire.
“You have the most beautiful pssy, baby. So wet…” he murmured before opening her nether lips wider with his fingers, exposing her clt. He looked at her face as he rubbed her with his forefinger gently, spreading her juices over the sensitive nub.
Napaungol ito, habol ang hininga. “Luck…”
Ngumiti siya. “Sarap?”
Mabilis itong tumango, mukhang nawala na ang hiya.
“Don’t close your eyes. Watch.”
Then he ate her.
She went rigid and struggled not to close her eyes as his lips connected with her wet folds. The wonder he saw there was everything he had ever dreamed of. This was her first time. He was her first man. She was his. All his.
Pero siya ang napapikit nang tuluyang malasahan ito. F*cking A! So delicious he was instantly addicted.
“Luck, oh my god, Luck…!”
That’s right, baby. Say my name. He ate her like he’d never eaten p*ssy before. Licked her like it was his last dessert before getting executed. Sucked her like it was his only source of sustenance.
He fought not to hump the bed, clenching his core to stop from coming onto the sheets. He wouldn’t come on the sheets. He would put all his seed inside her this first time.
Nilaro niya ang pagkababae nito hanggang nagdedeliryo na ito sa sarap. Her cries of pleasure filled him with pure joy and the most intense lust. It was a lethal combination. He knew he was a goner for good. He was absolutely ruined for any other woman.
When she came, he drank it all, basked in the spasms of her cl*t on his tongue, licked the honey of her orgasm bathing his lips.
He didn’t give her time to come down from her high.
He moved up between her legs and positioned his incredibly hard length at her wet entrance. Whitish fluid oozed like a leaking faucet at his tip, but he couldn’t resist rubbing it against her slick folds, feeling her little spasms. He drenched his length on her juices.
His heart was practically beating in his throat, pulsing in his balls.
Guiding himself to her little hole, he pushed.
Nanigas ito sa ilalim niya, napasinghap.
The huge tip of him squeezed in. Nangalit ang mga bagang niya sa sarap na naramdaman habang pinapasok ito.
Iba na ng ungol nito. Nasasaktan na niya ito.
“I’m sorry, baby…” He didn’t want to hurt her, but it couldn’t be avoided and he was too far gone to stop.
Not wanting to prolong her agony, he lifted her legs over his biceps, kissed her lips and rammed into her to the quick, breaking past the tight resistance, squeezing into her snug depths all the way to the hilt.
Napaungol siya nang malakas nang nasa loob na siya nito.The pleasure of it was out of this world. He stayed still and revelled in the incredible feel of her tightness around him. Napapikt siya nang mariin, his emotions swamping him at the height of his pleasure.
God, I love this woman. I love her so f*cking much. Thank you for this moment. Thank you!
She was wiggling under him, trying to adjust to his size. He rained kisses on her face to soothe her pain.
He knelt on the bed and looked at where they were joined. In the soft light he could see the unmistakable evidence of her virginity. Unable to help himself, he dipped a finger on the blood that pooled around the base of his shaft and licked his finger. The metallic taste mixed with their combined fluids made him rejoice in primitive Neanderthal pride.
Finally, she was his. At walang makakaagaw dito mula sa kanya.
He rubbed her cl*t again. Gently. She was still coming down from her orgasmic high, at madali niyang muling napag-init ito. She contracted around him even tighter, milking him deliciously.
“God, baby, ang sarap niyan,” ungol niya.
She smiled and did it again.
He grinned, rubbing her faster. “Hindi na masakit?”
“Uhmmm. I don’t know…It hurts but it feels…you’re so…I feel so full of you and…yes, don’t stop…”
He pulled away slowly and entered slowly again, getting her accustomed to his girth. She moved with him, learning the rhythm quickly. So f*cking good.
“Okay now? Still hurt?”
“Just a little. Oh, Luck…please, don’t stop…”
Feeling her sweet response, he framed her face in his palms and uttered with absolute possessiveness.
“Akin ka lang. You hear me? Akin lang.”
Then he kissed her, driving his tongue down her throat as he surged in and out of her again and again, unleashing the monstrous need inside him to run wild and free.
She clung to him tightly, wrapping her legs and arms around him as she took the full impact of his thrusts.
“Yes…oh Luck, yes!”
The rest of the world ceased to exist but her…her wet heat enveloping him from the inside out, her intoxicating scent surrounding him, her softness, her taste, her heavenly voice that chanted his name…
“So good, baby. So good…!”
He pounded into her with all of him, giving her everything he got.
He felt her come again just a second before he hit the point of inevitable. And then he was coming like he never did before, groaning like he was dying, filling her with the white-hot bursts of his pleasure. He ground his hips hard against her to deliver his seed home. He wanted to leave a more lasting mark on her than just his semen.
He wanted his baby in her belly.
The very thought heightened his climax tenfold.
GUYS, KALOKA! I’m new here so I’m not yet familiar with the taboo words. I sanitized the LS in this version. I won’t remove the other version on CHAPTER 6 because ma-open naman ng iba. Sensiya na. Next time, I’ll know what to do haha. Hope you enjoyed it.
7
SOUNDTRACK
I WANT IT THAT WAY…by Backstreet Boys
NAGISING SI KATE na medyo nananakit ang buong katawan niya. Ilang segundo rin ang lumipas bago niya nai-focus ang utak kung nasaan siya. Bigla ang pagbalik ng reyalidad.
Oh, God, what have I done?
Hubad siya sa ilalim ng kumot. Ramdam niya sa bawat himaymay ng katawan, hindi na siya katulad ng dati. She had given herself to a man for the first time.
She made love with Lucky.
No, they had sex. A heat-of-the-moment thing.
Lumukob ang sari-saring emosyon sa kanya– pangamba, takot, hiya…panic…
Oh my god, oh my god!
Parang binabayo ang dibdib niya sa lakas ng tibok ng puso niya. What the hell came over her last night? She seduced her BFF! He was practically her brother! Parang incest nang matatawag ’yon! Yikes!
Brother ka diyan. Too late for your common sense to finally resurface. You gave up your cherry to him in an oh-so-brotherly manner last night. Bitch, please!
Tinutuya siya ng mahaderang konsensiya niya, and it wasn’t helping.
Wala siya sa matinong pag-iisip kagabi, pagrarason niya. He took advantage of her!
Of course not, sagot naman ng kanyang konsensiya at hindi niya maaaring kontrahin ang katotohanan. Malinaw sa kanyang utak ang lahat ng mga naganap nang nagdaang magdamag. She remembered practically begging him to take her. She was the one who initiated everything. She kissed him, touched him, welcomed him into her body. And how she clung to him while he… Gosh! I can’t even…!
She asked for it!
Mabuti na lang at nag-iisa na siya sa silid. Ayaw niyang makita ito ngayon. Hindi niya alam ang gagawin. Oh my effing god, I have to get out of here! It seemed that all she’d been doing the past twenty-four hours was run away.
Biglang bumukas ang pinto ng banyo. Lumabas mula roon si Lucky, nakatapis ng tuwalya ang baywang. Nagtama ang kanilang mga mata.
Bagong ligo ito. “Good morning, sleepyhead.” May pilyong ngiti sa mga labi nito. His eyes traveled downwards, and stayed there.
Yumuko siya at nakitang litaw ang kanyang dibdib. Oh, shit! Dagli niyang itinaas hanggang leeg ang comforter. Parang sinisilaban ang pakiramdam niya sa hiya. She must be red in the face like an overripe tomato.
Mainit na mainit na ang kanyang mukha sa embarrassment. Gusto niyang magtago sa ilalim ng kumot, o sana’y lamunin na lang siyang bigla ng lupa. But she had to handle the situation as gracefully as she did everything else. Hindi na siya menor-de-edad. She was a mature woman, and she was going to take full responsibility for the consequences of her actions.
But not just yet. Kailangang makapag-isip muna siya, at hindi siya maka-formulate ng mga tamang sasabihin dahil sa pagkaasiwa sa mga titig ni Lucky. There was something new in the way he was regarding her this morning. His eyes were all too knowing, full of…ownership.
That awakened something fierce inside her. It scared her more than anything else, this new dimension in their relationship. It happened overnight and she couldn’t deal with it right now.
Fight or flight?
She chose the latter for now. “Ahm…I wanna use the bathroom, too.” Iyon ang unang nasabi niya.
Ibinalabal niya ang kumot sa kanyang katawan at dahan-dahang tumayo mula sa kama. Napangiwi siya. Nagprotesta ang mga muscles niya. There was a nagging soreness between her legs.
“Are you all right, babe?” Akmang lalapit ito sa kanya.
“No!” bulalas niya. “I mean, I’m okay! I’m okay.”
Bakit gan’on? Dati namang babe ang tawag ni Lucky sa kanya, pero ngayon, iba na ang dating ng endearment na iyon sa kanyang pandinig. Parang napaka-intimate na.
You’ve been intimate with him, idiot.
“May I join you?” pilyong tanong nito.
“No! I mean…” Her eyes involuntarilly traveled down his body. He had the hard, lean and muscular physique of a sportsman. Naglakbay ang mga kamay niya at mga labi sa kabuuan nito kagabi. Namula siyang lalo sa naging takbo ng kanyang isip. Hindi na niya tinapos ang sasabihin. Dali-dali siyang pumasok sa banyo at ini-lock ang pinto niyon.
She hastily went into the shower and took a bath. Nagtagal siya sa tapat ng shower, pilit na kinakalma ang sarili.
What now? Paano na? Her fiance dumped her on their wedding day and she slept with her BFF, all in one day! What a drastic development! Hindi siya makapaniwala sa nagawa. Sobrang physically and emotionally drained siya kagabi at nakatulog siya nang mahimbing pagkatapos nilang mag-ano ni Lucky.
Mag-sex, Kate. Sex!
Oo, iyon na nga ’yon! Shut up and let me think! Gigil na siya sa kanyang inner goddess na bitchesa.
Kailangang malampasan niya ang kapalpakan niyang ito. Dahil sa sobrang sama ng loob, she did a very reckless thing last night.
“Nico, you bastard! You made me do it!” impit na asik niya sa sarili, pero alam niyang naghahanap lang siya ng scapegoat para ma-justify ang ginawa niya. Nico did her wrong, but what she did afterwards was entirely her own decision. Spur-of-the-moment decision.
Ano na lang ang sasabihin ni Lucky sa kanya? Cheap? Desperada? Pathetic?
But she remembered his hot words… they way he’d declared how much he wanted her, which he followed up with the way he’d touched her body… his tongue on her nipples, his hot, hard manhood driving into her. Nag-init ang kanyang pakiramdam sa kabila ng dumadaloy na tubig sa kanyang katawan.
She needed to calm the hell down.
Para maalis ang isip niya kay Lucky, itinuon niya kay Nico ang konsentrasyon. Muling rumagasa ang kanyang galit para sa dating nobyo. Again, she vowed to make him pay for what he did to her. Oh yes! No one humiliates Kate Del
este and gets away with it!
But first things first, she had to troubleshoot this “thing” between her and Lucky. Ayaw niyang masira ang pagkakaibigan nila dahil sa kanyang kabaliwan.
Medyo kalmante na siya nang lumabas ng banyo. Nakaupo sa gilid ng kama si Lucky, may kausap sa cellphone nito.
“Okay, Jett. Tell them na uuwi na kami ni Kate maya-maya. Tell them she’s okay. Everything’s fine. Yeah…I’ll see you soon….Bye.”
Lumingon ito sa kanya, ngumiti nang malapad. “Feeling better?”
Para siyang namamalikmata sa pagkatitig dito. May kaunti itong sungki sa kaliwang canine tooth nito, isang imperfection na lalong nagpatingkad sa pagiging darkly handsome nito.
For the first time in her adult life, she was looking at him in a whole new light. She was seeing him as a man for the first time. Not her BFF, but a very virile and gorgeous man who had been her lover last night.
Tumayo ito at lumapit sa kanya. He was very tall, more than six feet, alam niya iyon, but he seemed taller in her eyes now. He seemed bigger, more solid in build. Tumuon ang mga mata niya sa washboard abs nito. Hindi iyon basta-basta nakukuha sa pagdi-gym. Multi-striped black-belter ito sa Karate at isang champion Polo player. Nakuha nito ang matikas na pangangatawan, mga dark-brown eyes, sensual lips at squarish jaw mula sa yumaong ama nito na Italian. Kayumangging mamula-mula ang balat nito at may kaunting alon ang itim na buhok na kuha naman sa Pilipinang ina nito.
Naalala niya ang mga sinabi ni Karen tungkol sa physical attributes ni Lucky. Sexy, dangerous, predatory. Hindi niya makita ang mga iyon noon. She only had eyes for Nico.
But now… Oh my goodness…
“You can touch me if you want, baby,” malambing na sabi nito. Napasinghap siya sa gulat nang kunin nito ang kanyang kamay at inilapat sa dibdib nito.
Naalibadbaran siyang lalo. “Luck… Please, we need to talk.” Hinila niya ang kamay na parang napaso.
Lumayo siya rito at umupo sa isang arm chair. She was wearing a white robe from the guest bathroom over her damp body. She didn’t have anything to wear. Pinunit ni Lucky ang kanyang wedding gown kagabi, at never niyang isusuot ulit ’yon! Susunugin niya iyon para walang magpapaalala sa kanya sa nakansela niyang kasal. Ang pesteng kasal na buong pagmamahal at pinaghirapan niyang ihanda ng ilang buwan sa kabila ng kawalang-gana ni Nico, tapos mauuwi lang sa gano’n! Muling namayani ang galit niya, and she needed it to get through this.
She didn’t like her state of nakedness in front of Lucky. She felt too vulnerable, almost defenseless. Wala siyang armor. And she couldn’t find her underwear. Nahihiya siyang tanungin ito kung nasaan iyon.
Shit, this is so awkward!
Pinagsalikop nito ang mga bisig at sumandal sa dinding. His biceps became more prominent. His state of undress was really bothering her, too. He exuded raw masculinity, something that never affected her before. But now…
“A-about last night…” panimula niya.
“Yes? What about last night…?” He grinned again, his dimples giving him a boyish aura. Bakit ba napapansin na niyang lahat ang physical features nito ngayon? Dati naman niyang nakikita lahat iyon, pero ngayon lang niya napagtutuunan ng pansin.
He looked so happy too, and for some reason, it unsettled her. Ano namang nakakatuwa sa nangyari sa kanila? Hindi siya natutuwa. Hiyang-hiya siya sa sarili. Hindi siya iyong Kate na nakatalik nito kagabi. Ibang tao iyon. Ang tunay na Kate ay ang kaharap nito ngayon.
“Okay, babe, I’m listening,” he prodded gently. Titig na titig ito sa kanya at para siyang matutunaw.
“Ahm…Luck…I…I…It was a mistake!” she said in a rush. There was no getting around it. It was a huge mistake, a colossal breakdown of morals on her part.
Pumormal ang mukha nito, napalis ang ngiti.
“I wasn’t myself. I was hurting so bad. Nakalimot ako, and I’m so sorry,” kaagad niyang dugtong bago siya tuluyang mawalan ng tapang.
He stared at her intently, titig na nakakapaso sa sobrang intensidad. His silence unnerved her. But she had to address the issue alang-alang sa mga pinagsamahan nila. Ayaw niyang magkaroon ng anumang misunderstanding sa pagitan nila. Tapos na siya sa pag-iwas sa mga katotohanang dapat niyang harapin, tulad ng ginawa niya kay Nico. She had refused to talk about their problem and face it head-on. Napahamak tuloy siya dahil sa kaduwagan niya.
Ayaw na niyang maulit ’yon. There must be no blurred lines between her and Lucky after last night. She would define the boundary between them clearly, lest he got any other ideas.
“Look, we’re both consenting adults. Kahit sablay ang judgment ko kagabi, ginusto ko rin ang nangyari. But it wasn’t supposed to happen. You know that, right? Pero nangyari na ’yon, hindi na mababago pa. Even then, hindi ibig sabihin na babaguhin niyon kung ano tayo dati.”
Hindi ito umimik, nakatitig lang sa kanya. He had dropped his arms to his sides, and he was standing there as still as a statue.
“W-what I want is kalimutan na lang sana natin ang nangyari. We will carry on as if nothing happened, and it’s best that no one must ever know about it, especially my family.”
Hinintay niya itong magsalita, pero nanatili itong walang imik. Blangko na ang mukha nito. Wala siyang makitang kahit na ano.
“I’m not proud of what I did, Luck. It was cheap, I know. Hiyang-hiya ako sa ginawa ko. Sana hindi naman magbago ang tingin mo sa akin dahil doon, ’yong friendship natin. I hope you will agree with me to just forget about it. Please?”
For a split second, parang may nakita siya pait na gumuhit sa mga mata nito. May nadama siyang guilt. Did she hurt his feelings? That was the last thing she wanted. She didn’t want to lose his friendship. He was such a sophisticated and experienced man. Malamang normal lang naman dito ang casual sex. Iyon ang nangyari sa kanila, wala ng iba.
“L-luck…say something, please?”
“Okay, Kate, kung iyon ang gusto mo, let’s forget about the whole thing. Let’s carry on as if nothing happened.”
He spoke in low monotone. Malayelo ang tinig nito.
“Tungkol naman sa takot mo na malaman ito ng iba, you insult me. Alam mong hindi ko magagawang ipahamak ka at ang pamilya mo.” “
“Luck, hindi naman ’yon ang ibig kong sabihin…” her voice trailed off. Ano pa ba ang dapat niyang sabihin? Mukhang nasaling niya ang ego nito. Lucky had women throwing themselves at him, and of course, he wouldn’t take rejection well, pero Lord, hindi talaga niya ma-deal na naging lovers sila ni Lucky kagabi.
“Get ready, I’m taking you home. Hahanap lang ako sandali ng pwede mong maisuot.” Iyon lang at lumabas na ito ng silid.
Nanghihinang natutop niya ang noo. May kung anong kakaibang emosyong namumuo sa kalooban niya. She wanted to go after him…
Then what? Para ano?
Gulong-gulo lalo ang utak niya. Lutang pa rin siya.
Ano ba itong gulong pinasok niya?
DUMATING si Jett sa villa, ang business partner ni Lucky sa SU. Jett and another SU agent accompanied them to a nearby private landing strip in the neighborhood.
Si Jett rin ang nag-piloto ng Sikorsky chopper na sinakyan nila pabalik ng Manila. Ayaw na ni Lucky na mag-drive sila pauwi. Ihahatid na lang ng tauhan nito sa bahay nila and Corvette niya.
Suot-suot niya ang white long-sleeved shirt ni Lucky. Masyadong maluwang iyon sa kanya, pero wala naman siyang ibang maisuot. Gamit siya ang isang track pants nito na sobrang luwang din. Mabuti na lang at drawstring and waistband niyon kaya hindi naman nalalaglag sa katawan niya.
Wala silang imikan sa chopper habang nasa ere na sila. Maya’t maya ay sinusulyapan niya ito, pero hindi siya nito pinapansin. Mukhang wala itong balak na magsimula ng conversation.
Her heart was clenching in fear. Nararamdaman niyang nagbabago na ang relasyon nila at hindi na magiging katulad ng dati. How could they possibly go back after what happened? They crossed a line they weren’t supposed to. Nalulungkot siya nang husto. Idagdag pa ang galit at pait na dulot ng kataksilan ni Nico, she was one huge mess inside.
Lucky was her very best friend in the whole world. Ito ang kanyang knight in shining armor; ang palaging naroon kung may problema siya; ang sumbungan ng kanyang mga hinanakit kay Nico; palaging nakaalalay sa kanyang mga endeavors. Hindi niya ma-define ang limit o extent ng kanilang relasyon. Basta ang alam niya, he was a very strong and dependable man. He could do anything. She admired him like an idol and respected him like a hero.
Nagsimula ang kanilang pagiging close nang kasamang umuwi ni Lucky sa kanilang mansiyon ang kanyang daddy sa halos dalawang buwang pagiging hostage ng mga NPA. Halos ikamatay nilang lahat sa pamilya ang pagkaka-kidnap sa ama niya. Halos mawalan na sila ng pag-asa.
Then one day, her father came home, very gaunt and very weak, but alive! And when she looked at the man who brought her father back, she was instantly captivated. Hindi niya napigilan ang sarili noon sa sobrang galak at pasasalamat. She hugged Lucky tightly, tears streaming down her face. She was so grateful to him. Utang niya rito ang buhay ng kanyang ama.
Simula noon, naging very close na sila sa isa’t isa dahil naging malapit na kaibigan din ni Lucky ang mga magulang niya at ang buong pamilya ng Deleste. He became one of them. Lucky was like family to her and to her whole clan.
Ilang taon na silang magkaibigang matalik. Ayaw niyang masira iyon. Kapag nahaluan na ng ibang bagay ang pagkakaibigan, nasisira iyon. Ayaw niyang madamay ito sa mga pangit na nararamdaman niya ngayon. She wasn’t in a good place, and his friendship meant the world to her.
Hindi niya natagalan ang katahimikan sa pagitan nila. “Galit ka ba sa akin, Luck?” mahinang tanong niya rito.
Akala niya’y hindi siya narinig nito dahil nanatiling nakatingin ito sa labas ng bintana ng chopper, pero sumagot din maya-maya. “Bakit naman ako magagalit?” Flat ang tono nito. Indifferent.
“I don’t want anything to change between us. You’re still my BFF, right?”
“Of course,” medyo lumambot ang tono nito, pero hindi pa rin tumitingin sa kanya.
“No hard feelings?”
Bahagya itong tumawa. “You know there aren’t. Kailanman ay hindi ako magagalit sa ’yo.”
Nakahinga siya nang maluwag.
Gusto niyang hawakan ang kamay nito tulad ng ginagawa niya dati, pero hindi niya magawa. Wala naman siyang pangingimi dati. Bakit ngayon ay meron na?
“Friends?”
He briefly looked at her then. “Always, angel.”
She knew he meant it. She felt so much better.
THANKS TO HIS HARD TRAINING in psychological warfare during his days in the Special Forces, nagawa ni Lucky na maging kalmante kahit bayolente na ang pakiramdam niya. Sabi nga nila, nasusukat daw ang pagmamahal sa haba ng pasensiya ng nagmamahal.
Story of his life.
God must be punishing him for whatever reason. Kate seemed to have been brought into this world just to be the sole source of his deepest heartaches. But then again, she was also the sole source of his greatest joys.
Friends daw? Gusto niyang matawa. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” gusto niyang isigaw dito, pero nagpigil pa rin siya.
How could she still look at him as merely her best friend after he’d eaten her pussy and put his dick inside her? The woman could be so dense at times, but he would blame it on her ordeal yesterday. Hindi biro ang pinagdaanan nito kahapon. She was still very angry, confused, trying to process things. Bibigyan niya ito ng panahon, pero hindi niya kayang maghintay nang matagal.
Matagal na siyang naghihintay. Ayaw na niyang magsayang ng oras.
“LUCKY, nasaan siya?” Nasaan ang baby ko? Is she all right?“ Hindi magkandatutong usisa ni Doña Beatrice kay Lucky. Nasa pamamahay na sila ng mga DeLeste at naroon ang buong pamilya ni Kate, tense na naghihintay sa kanilang pagdating.
Siyang mag-isa ang humarap sa pamilya nito. Inintindi na lamang niya ang damdamin ni Kate. He had his own issues with her, but now was not the time to press it. Maghihintay siya nang ilang araw hanggang makapahinga ito nang husto.
“She’s okay, ma’am. Pumasok na siya sa kanyang kwarto. She passed through the back door. Gusto raw niyang magpahinga at mapag-isa muna,” apologetic na paliwanag niya sa ina ni Kate.
“B-but I want to see her. My poor baby…” Nangingilid na ang mga luha nito.
Inakbayan ito ng asawa. “Hayaan mo na muna siya, Mommy. Masyadong napagod ang bata. Hayaan muna natin siyang makapagpahinga. Ang importante, she’s back home safe and sound. There will be plenty of time to talk later.”
“Sabagay, tama ka, Dad,” pagsang-ayon naman ng doña sa asawa. Bumaling ito sa kanya. “Lucky, how can we ever thank you, hijo? Sobra-sobra na ang mga nagawa mo para sa pamilya namin. Habang-buhay naming tatanawing utang na loob sa ’yo ito.”
Yumakap ang doña sa kanya.
“Wala pong anuman ’yon,” nahihiyang sabi niya.
Lumapit si DL sa kanila at kinamayan siya. “As usual, maraming salamat, bro.”
Maging si Don Antonio ay niyakap siya. “Ah, Lucky, my son, salamat. Maraming salamat.”
Gusto niyang makonsensiya nang mga oras na iyon. Kung alam lang ng mga ito ang nangyari. He didn’t really take good care of Kate. He took advantage of her. Hindi niya ito naiuwi nang buong-buo tulad ng pangako niya sa ama nito. He took her virginity. Tinalo siya ng kanyang kahinaan. Pero wala siyang makapang pagsisisi sa kanyang nagawa. He would take full responsibility for his actions.
Kate, baby, whether you like it or not, our lives have finally merged fully.
DON’T FORGET TO VOTE AND COMMENT.
Thankies, babies!
8
SOUNDTRACK
DON’T SPEAK by No Doubt
THE NEXT DAYS were really difficult for Kate. Nagkukulong siya sa kanyang kuwarto buong araw at gabi. Maya’t maya ay sumisilip ang mga magulang niya na para bang sinisigurong buhay pa siya. Maging si DL ay extra-sweet sa kanya. Dini-delay ng kapatid ang pagpunta sa Europe para maghanda sa nalalapit na Italian Grand Prix. Alam niyang siya ang dahilan niyon. Worried ito sa kanya. Pero minsan ay naiirita na siya sa mga ito. All she wanted was to be left alone in her misery.
Ni hindi siya lumalabas para kumain sa dining room nila. Nagpapahatid lang siya ng kanyang meals sa kuwarto niya. Wala rin naman siyang ganang kumain. Everything tasted bland. She couldn’t differentiate one food from the other.
Marami siyang mga kamag-anak at mga kaibigang dumadalaw sa kanya, pero hindi niya nilalabas ang sinuman. Pakiramdam niya ay naroon lamang ang mga ito para kaawaan siya. Baka nga lihim pa siyang pinagtatawanan. Malay ba niya sa mga kaibigan niya kung sino ba ang totoo sa kanila. She thought Nico and her were very close friends, too. She expected honesty and respect from him, and yet he still betrayed her in the most cruel way.
At kapag naiisip niya ang katangahan niya kay Nico, parang nginangatngat ang kalooban niya sa sobrang galit. Galit na hindi naiibsan. Hindi niya tipo ang magwala at magbasag ng mga bagay para mailabas ang galit. At sa bawat paglipas ng mga araw, nadadagdagan pa ang poot niya, parang nag-uumpugang mga bato sa loob niya. So many wasted years for a good-for-nothing bastard. A cheating, lying asshole! Gusto niyang makaganti!
I hate him, hate him, hate him!!!
She and Nico went a long way back. Matalik na magkaibigan ang mga ama nila at malapit na malapit sa isa’t isa ang mga Sanvictores at Deleste clans. Karamihan sa kanilang mga kapamilya ay magkakasosyo sa negosyo. May mga ilang relatives siyang nakapag-asawa ng mga Sanvictores. Parang extended family nila ang isa’t isa. And it was only fitting that she and Nico would end up together as husband and wife dahil sila ang mga anak ng mga lider ng dalawang pamilya.
They were perfect together at the beginning. Baby pa lang siya noong ipinagkasundo sila ni Nico. It was a barbaric tradition by present-day standards, but the Sanvictoreses and Delestes were very clannish. They liked to consolidate their wealth and power, keep everything within both families.
Matanda si Nico sa kanya na mga pitong taon, but it was a perfect age-gap because he started as her other big brother while growing up. And then they became great friends. She really felt that he truly loved her as the years went by. Nang maging formally engaged sila noong 18 na siya, mahal na mahal na nila ang isa’t isa. Nag-aral ito ng college sa America, pero constant ang communication nila. Kung umuuwi ito ng Pilipinas noon, priority nitong mag-spend ng time sa kanya. Nagbago lang ang lahat nang maging presidente ito ng Sanvictores Group noong 26 years old ito. A couple of years later, he became the CEO. Naging sobrang busy na ito sa trabaho at nabawasan na ang panahon nila sa isa’t isa. Ngunit hindi naman niya gaanong ininda iyon kasi naroon naman si Lucky na BFF niya. Ito ang parang pumuno sa absence ni Nico.
Inintindi niya ang lahat ng mga pagkukulang ni Nico, umasa na sa bandang huli ay sila pa rin, at magbabago ang lahat kapag kasal na sila. Iyon pala ay may iba na itong mahal. Ginawa siya nitong tanga hanggang sa huling sandali.
Sobrang betrayal ang ginawa sa kanya ni Nico, at hindi niya alam kung mapapatawad pa niya ito.
Hindi rin niya alam kung kailan niya mapapatawad ang sarili sa sobra niyang katangahan. She saw the signs, but she ignored them. Ano ’yon, siya ang nagsaing, iba ang kakain? Pinaghirapan niya ang relasyon nila ni Nico nang ilang taon. Napakalaki ng investment niya rito, kaya mas pinairal niya ang self-preservation kesa self-respect. Nagbulag-bulagan siya kasi umasa siya, sumugal siya. Pero umasa siya sa wala. Sumugal siya sa talunang baraha.
Maraming beses na dumalaw si Lucky sa kanya, pero maging ito ay hindi niya hinarap. Kahit palagi rin itong laman ng isip niya ay ayaw niya itong makita. Lucky knew her too much. Basang-basa siya nito, at ayaw niyang mabasa ninuman, ang ma-expose ang sakit na nararamdaman niya. The ugliness inside her was not something she wanted to share with anybody.
And also, she didn’t want to see Lucky’s knowing eyes. Ayaw niyang maalala ang namagitan sa kanila. Pruweba iyon ng kahinaan niya. Isa pang resulta ng katangahan niya. God! She fucked her BFF!
Kahit na anong gawin niya ay naroon iyon sa utak niya, sa kanyang kamalayan. Lalo siyang nagagalit sa sarili. The last thing she needed was an emotional hangup with another man while her heart raged with hate for her bastard ex. This other man also happened to be her BFF! It would be just too complicated, a bigger disaster waiting to happen.
Pero isang umaga, pagkalipas ng halos dalawang linggong pagmumukmok, bumangon siya, naligo at nagbihis. Kahit napakalaking effort para sa kanya na muling harapin ang reyalidad ay pinilit niya. Hindi siya makakaganti kay Nico kung magkukulong lang siya sa kanyang kuwarto.
Siniguro niyang perpekto ang kanyang hitsura bago lumabas ng kanyang silid. Nagulat pa ang Mommy niya pagkakita sa kanya sa skylit sunroom ng kanilang bahay. Kasalukuyan itong nag-aalmusal.
“Hija!” Maluwang ang ngiti nito.
Humalik siya sa pisngi nito. “Hi, Mom.”
“Are you okay, darling?” worried na tanong nito sa kanya.
“I’m okay, Mom. Really, I am. Huwag na kayong mag-alala.” Kahit nakukulitan na siya ay pinagtitiyagaan niyang i-assure ito na talagang okay na siya. Mahal na mahal niya ang mga magulang at ayaw niyang nakikitang nababahala ang mga ito ng dahil sa kanya.
“B-but what about Nico…”
“Please, I don’t wanna talk about him, Mom, about the wedding or anything connected to that fiasco.”
“I’m sorry, anak.”
“I just wanna go on with my life.”
Tumango-tango ito. “I’m just so happy you’re back, darling.”
“Thanks, Mom. I must go.”
“Saan ka pupunta, hija?”
“Work po. Sa boutique.”
“Mag-breakfast ka muna. Are you sure you’re up to it already?”
She wanted to roll her eyes in exasperation. “Of course!” Humalik siya sa pisngi ng ina. “Bye, Mom. I’ll have take-out breakfast na lang sa mall.”
“Okay.” Hinaplos nito ang pisngi niya. “Take care, anak. I love you.”
“KATE!” I didn’t expect you to be back so soon!“ gulat na salubong sa kanya ni Aina, ang manager ng kanyang boutique.
“Why? Did everyone expect me to hang myself after my fairy tale dreams bit the dust?” sarkastikong sagot niya.
Namula si Aina. “I’m sorry, Kate. Hindi naman ’yon ang ibig kong sabihin…”
Na-guilty naman kaagad siya sa inasal. Nawawala na yata ang kanyang cool. Hindi naman siya ganoon. She was always graceful and poised, halos hindi nagagalit. Hindi lang naman niya employee si Aina, kaibigan na rin niya itong maituturing .
Inakbayan niya ito. “I’m sorry, Ains. May hangover pa ako sa nangyari. Pasensiya na, ha? I just wanna close that unpleasant chapter in my life. Ang gusto ko lang na gawin ngayon ay magtrabaho nang magtrabaho, We have goals, quotas and deadlines to meet. Let’s work on that.”
Ngumiti ito na nakaunawa naman. “It’s okay. Naiintindihan naman kita. Anyways, may good news ako! Sold out na lahat iyong mga bagong collections natin from our new designers. The other labels are selling like hotcakes. We have orders from all over Europe and the US! Kailangan na nating mag-replenish ng stocks.”
“Good, good.” Kahit papaano ay magandang balita ang dinatnan niya sa trabaho. That was something great to start over with.
Isinubsob niya ang sarili sa mga trabahong naiwan niya bago naganap ang pesteng kasal niyang hindi naman natuloy. Mind over matter. Hindi na muna niya bibigyang puwang sa isip ang kung anumang pangit na nangyari. Nico could wait a while, pero hindi pa sila tapos. She had to regain her full strength first, saka niya haharapin ang walanghiyang iyon. Then he would pay.
Ang dami niyang ibininbing mga plano for her expansion. Binalikan ulit niya ang mga numero, ni-review ang mga plano. Lumipas ang mga oras na hindi niya namamalayan.
“GABING-GABI NA. Why are you still here?”
Napapitlag si Kate mula sa ginagawa.
Lucky was standing at the door, looking imposing in a pair of black, long-sleeved shirt, black jeans and white sneakers. Bahagya siyang natameme pagkakita rito.
“L-luck, what are you doing here?” Hindi niya namalayang nakapasok na ito sa kanyang opisina. Kanina pa sarado ang boutique at pinauna na niyang umuwi si Aina. Kilala kasi ng bodyguard/driver niyang si Jojo si Lucky kaya malayang pinapasok.
“You’ve lost a lot of weight,” anitong tinititigan siya nang matiim mula ulo hanggang paa na parang tsini-check ang lahat ng parte ng katawan niya. Agad ang pagkaasiwang naramdaman niya. Her office seemed to have shrunk into a tiny box when he stepped in. A weird feeling that she didn’t use to have.
“I’m busy. What do you want?” Maya’t maya ay sumasagi sa isip niya ito buong araw, pero magkahalong inis at pagkaasiwa agad ang naramdaman niya nang makita ito. What was wrong with her? This was Lucky, her BFF.
“Bakit hindi mo sinasagot ang mga tawag ko? I understand kung umiiwas kang makita ang ibang tao, pero pati ba tawag ko sa telepono ay ayaw mong sagutin?”
Ilang araw nang naka-shut off ang kanyang cellphone. Sinadya niya iyon. “I’m sorry, my cellphone isn’t working, I guess,” paiwas na sagot niya. It was lame and he knew it.
Humakbang ito palapit sa kanya. Nalanghap niya ang pamilyar na cologne nito. Regalo niya iyon dito. Normal na sa kanya ang amoy nito dati, pero ngayon, iba ang dating sa kanya. Gusto niya, pero ayaw niyang langhapin. Ang weird ng nararamdaman niya.
He scanned her stylish office contemplatively. He looked like he just stepped out of a men’s casual wear photoshoot. So sophisticated and yet rugged. He was so perfectly put together from head to toe.
So gorgeous.
Bahagya niyang ipinilig ang ulo at nagsimulang magsinop sa ibabaw ng mesa niyang puno ng kung anu-anong mga sketches, folders and sample swatches.
“Iniiwasan mo ako, Kate,” diretsang sabi nito.
“Of course not!” Inilagay niya sa filing cabinet ang mga folders. “Bakit ko naman gagawin iyon?”
“Oo nga naman. Bakit nga ba?”
Lumapit pa ito sa kanya. Lalong bumilis ang pitik ng pulso niya. She felt crowded by him. Pakiramdam niya’y nasusukol siya sa corner at gusto niyang tumakas. Bakit? She fought the urge to flee. Ayaw niyang magpakita ng anumang kahinaan dito.
Hinaplos nito ang mukha niya. “You’re working too hard. Hindi ka rin kumakain nang maayos sabi ng Mommy mo. Pinababayaan mo ang sarili mo, babe.”
Iniiwas niya ang mukha. “Look, Luck, you’re not my yaya, okay? You don’t have to check on me every time. I’m fine!” aniya sa may kataasang tinig.
“Hey, calm down, baby,” he said in a soothing voice na normal lang namang ginagamit nito sa kanya noon, pero ikinaasiwa na niya ngayon.
“I’m not your baby!” mariing sabi niya. “Stop treating me like I can’t handle my own life. I’m an adult just like you!” She couldn’t seem to stand his overwhelming presence.
“I’m not handling your life for you, Kate,” malumanay na sabi nito.
Parang bulkang biglang sumabog ang temper niya. Hindi niya mapigil ang sarili. “Yes, you are! Simula pa noon, lagi ka na lang nakabuntot sa akin na parang guard dog! Well, no more! From now on, I will do what I want, go wherever I want, at my own time, my own pace, and my own way!”
Namagitan ang ilang sandaling katahimikan. God, what the hell was happening to her? Bakit siya sobrang moody lately? Extreme ang mood swings niya. Parang may kung anong gustong kumawala sa kaloob-looban niya, at naibubunton niya iyon kay Lucky na wala namang ginagawa sa kanya kundi iyong dati lang din nitong ginagawa.
“Tapos ka na ba?” kalmanteng tanong nito kapagdaka.
“Yes,” taas-noong sagot niya.
“Good. My turn.”
Bago pa siya nakahuma ay nakabig na siya nito at siniil ng halik sa mga labi. She gasped as his tongue darted inside her mouth like liquid fire. Her senses responded immediately.
Nang lubayan nito ang kanyang mga labi, halos kapusin na siya nang hininga sa bilis ng pintig ng puso niya. Hot. She felt so hot. Her skin seemed to break out in a sweat kahit malamig naman ang aircon sa opisina niya.
“Was that what’s been eating you, Kate?” may panunuya ang tono nito.
“How dare you! Bitiwan mo ako! Now!”
Hindi ito sumunod. He stared at her face through his heavy-lashed dark eyes, slowly melting her resolve.
“Let me go, Luck. Please.”
Saka lamang siya nito binitiwan. “Get ready. I’m taking you out to dinner,” he commanded with utter authority.
She bristled in resentment at his high-handedness. Dati, siya pa ang nagyayayang kumain sila palagi sa labas kahit anong oras na maisipan niya, at lagi naman siya nitong pinagbibigyan.
“Hindi ako nagugutom. Kasama ko si Jojo,” tanggi niya. She wanted to run away from him, escape his overbearing attitude.
“I won’t take no for an answer. Kailangan mong kumain.”
“You can’t tell me what to do!” she yelled.
“Okay,” nagkibit-balikat ito. “Ayaw mong lumabas, pwes dito na lang tayo kumain. Magpapa-deliver ako mula sa hotel. Sabagay, mas gusto ko rito, mas private, walang makakaistorbo sa atin.” Makahulugan ang titig nito at ngingiti-ngiti pa.
“No…I…”
“Make up your mind, babe.”
Pinandilatan niya ito ng mga mata. He was really getting under her skin big time. Whereas before his presence gave her assurance and peace of mind, now he was wreaking havoc to her senses and emotions by just looking at her with those dark eyes.
His gaze travelled all over her again. He was practically eye-fucking her and it seemed to be his normal now. Goodness, how gross!
Gross? She should tell that to her blasted vagina which was drenching her panties from the knowledge that he wanted her sexually.
God, this man! What am I going to do with him?
8.1
SOUNDTRACK
TO BE WITH YOU by Mr. Big
SHE PICKED UP HER clutch purse from the table. “Sa labas na lang tayo kumain.”
Nauna na itong lumabas ng pinto. Para siyang tuta na sumunod dito. She was leaving her scent in the air as they took the hallway going to the back exit. Pasimple na lang niyang nilanghap iyon. Gusto sana niya itong yakapin nang mas matagal, but she was jumpy and skittish. Ayaw niyang ma-threaten ito sa kanya.
Tangina…
How did he come to this?
It took some herculean effort not to touch her again. Dalawang linggo niya itong hindi nakita. Halos mabaliw na siya sa pangungulila rito. Tiniis niya iyon, kahit gusto na niyang pasukin ang kuwarto nito, gibain ang naka-lock na pinto niyon. Kung hindi lang ito nakatira sa bahay ng mga magulang nito…
He was going mad missing her.
Nagulat at natuwa siya nang malaman mula sa Mommy nito na pumasok ng trabaho si Kate ngayong araw. Nasa Subic siya kanina nang tawagan niya si Doña Beatrice para kumustahin si Kate. Kung hindi lang masyadong importante iyong meeting niya kanina, lumipad na siya pabalik ng Manila agad-agad, pero natali siya sa pag-estima sa mga bisita niyang mga Arabo na malalaking invertsors sa expansion ng kanyang hotel sa Subic. Nang makawala siya, gabi na. Nagpa-pickup siya kay Jett sa chopper para mabilis na makabalik sa Manila. He just took a quick shower and changed into casual clothes. He wanted to look good for her.
Sabik na sabik siyang makitang muli si Kate.
But she greeted him with hostility. Iyong inaasahan niyang matamis na ngiti nito sa tuwing darating siya, hindi niya nakita. She was shocked to see him, and then she clammed up like he was the enemy.
Hindi nito alam kung gaano kasakit iyon sa kanya. Kung kelan may nangyari sa kanila na siya sanang maglalapit lalo sa kanila, baliktad ang nangyayari. Pero nagtitimpi pa rin siya. Si Kate lang ang taong nakakasubok sa haba ng pasensiya niya. Hindi siya ganito kabait. In fact, his rivals in the business knew him as ruthless and calculated. But Kate was not a business. She was the love of his life. She was the exception to the rule.
“We’ll use my car,” aniya rito nang makalabas sila sa backdoor ng boutique. Naghihintay na roon ang bodyguard at driver nitong si Jojo.
“Pwedeng magkita na lang tayo sa restaurant?”
“No. We’ll use my car,” mariin niyang sabi. “Don’t argue with me on this.”
Nakipagtagisan pa ito ng titig sa kanya bago bumuntong-hininga at napipilitang maglakad patungo sa nakaparadang Mercedes Maybach niya. Napailing siya. Simpleng mga bagay na lang ang pinagsisimulan ng pagtatalo nila. She was so combative.
He assisted her inside the sedan. Maya-maya pa’y nasa daan na sila. Pinindot niya ang isang button. Sumara ang glass partition na naghihiwalay sa kanila sa kanyang driver at isang bodyguard sa front seats, giving them complete privacy.
She was stiffly sitting beside him. Noon, kapag ganitong may lakad sila, madaldal ito, maraming kwento kung ano ang nangyari sa araw nito. Ngayon, malamang ay hindi siya nito kakausapin kung hindi siya magtatanong.
Siya na ang nagbukas ng conversation. Hindi siya sanay na hindi ito nagsasalita. “Kumusta ang botique mo?”
“Okay lang.”
Katahimikan.
“Okay lang ba sa ’yo na kumain tayo sa paborito natin sa Ayala Ave?”
Hindi agad ito umimik.
“It’s okay if you want a more private place. Sa hotel ko na lang. I’ll call to have a function room ready.”
“Hindi. Doon na lang sa restaurant. It’s fine. Mabuti nang makita na ako ulit sa public. Baka akala nila nagpakamatay na ako.” Medyo natawa pa ito nang patuya sa sarili.
Gusto niyang hawakan ang kamay nito, but she was clasping them in her lap tightly na parang natetensiyon ito na kasama siya. Her distance was killing him.
“Okay. Don’t worry, kasama mo naman ako.”
“Kahit hindi kita kasama, lalabas pa rin naman ako. Naunahan mo lang ako tonight.”
Pikon na pikon na siya rito. She was trying to freeze him off. No, worse. She was driving him away.
Hindi man lang ba siya nito na-miss? Two weeks silang walang communication. Hindi nagkita o nagkausap man lang sa telepono, tapos ganito ito sa kanya ngayon, halos ayaw na siyang makita.
“Are you okay?” malumanay na tanong niya rito.
“Oh God, will you people stop asking me that? Para kang si Mommy, Daddy at DL. Tanong nang tanong. I’m still breathing, hello! I’m still standing. I’m trying to move on with my life. Obvious ba na I want to be okay? I’m okay, okay?!”
Nobody would even dare speak to him like this without grave consequences. Ito lang ang nakakagawa niyon sa kanya.
“Good. I’m glad to hear that,”’ sabi na lamang niya na napabuntong-hininga.
Sumandal siya sa backrest at sinikap na mag-relax. Magkasama na sila ulit. Lumalabas na ulit ito ng bahay. Malaking development iyon. She was trying to fight her pain. He was really worried that she might fall into depression noong halos hindi na ito lumalabas ng kuwarto nito. But she was out now. Her voice was spirited, not defeated. Iyon na muna ang mas importante kesa sa nararamdaman niya. He just wished that she would talk to him, open up to him like she always did in the past. Naroon lang naman siya para rito. Ngunit mukhang kinikimkim nito ang lahat.
Pero may magagawa ba siya? Hindi pa ito handang muling mag-confide sa kanya.
Hanggang kelan mo ako pahihirapan nang ganito, angel? I miss you so much.
KUMAIN sila sa Seta, ang paborito nilang Italian restaurant sa Makati. Pinilit ni Kate na kumalma. First time niyang lumabas sa public after the trainwreck that was her wedding. Ayaw niyang magmukhang talunan. In a way, mabuti at kasama niya rin si Lucky. Mas mukha siyang kawawa kung mag-isa siya. Kung makuhanan man siya ng stolen shots ng mga gossipmongers at i-post sa social media, at least may kasama siyang gwapong lalaki.
Kaibigan ni Lucky ang may-ari ng restaurant na iyon kaya kahit wala silang reservation, may lugar sila. Mateo, the owner, would let them use his office kung puno na ang restaurant.
Hindi naman puno ang restaurant at nabigyan sila ng corner table. Hindi siya tumitingin sa paligid nang pumasok sila. Hangout iyon ng mga nasa sirkulo nila at napansin niyang medyo napalis ang ingay sa paligid nang pumasok sila. Hindi naman sobrang ingay sa loob dahil fine-dining iyon, pero ilang segundong halos wala siyang marinig na nagsasalita habang naglalakad sila ni Lucky papunta sa table nila. Taas-noo lang siya. She would not give them anything to feast on in their chat rooms, the gossip bitches.
Lucky ordered for her. Gusto na naman niyang magprotesta, pero alam na alam nito ang mga paborito niya sa menu. Si Mateo mismo ang umestima sa kanila kung kaya’t all-smiles siya.
Nang makalayo na si Mateo, namagitan ulit ang katahimikan. Bakit gano’n? Bakit wala na silang mapag-usapan? Dati ay napakarami. Anything under the sun.
“Stop thinking about him. He’s not worth it,” Lucky said curtly.
“Who?” she deadpanned.
“Alam ko mo kung sino ang tinutukoy ko.” Inis na ang tono nito. And something else. Jealousy. Possessiveness. Nakikita na niya iyon sa mga mata nito. She resented that. She wanted to rebel from it. Lucky was very dominant, at minsan nga ay control freak ito, bagay na hinahayaan niya noon because she was basking in being the spoiled princess. But she was a different person now after that hard lesson she learned from Nico. She didn’t want to be just a pampered, clueless princess anymore. She wanted to be a queen. Because queens called the shots.
“Iisipin ko ang gusto kong isipin. Nobody controls my mind, certainly not you.”
Nagningas ang mga mata nito. Napansin niyang nakakuyom na ang mga kamay nitong nakapatong sa ibabaw ng mesa. A perverse kind of excitement shot through her at the thought of actually provoking him to anger. He was always so cool and calm. Immovable, unfazed by anything, always in control.
“Why the sudden change in behavior toward me, Kate? You can’t forget it, can you?”
Nag-init ang mukha niya. He would really bring that up here? “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Sure you do. Hindi ka rin ba makatulog sa gabi thinking about that night? How we made love? How good it felt?”
Naeskandalo na siya sa mga sinasabi nito. Though he was speaking in a very soft voice at medyo malayo naman sila sa ibang mga customers, natatakot siyang maulinigan ng mga tao roon ang sinasabi nito.
But he wasn’t finished.
“Do you remember what we did, baby?”
“Stop it!” she hissed at him across the table.
Sumandal ito sa padded backrest ng silyang kinauupuan nito at ngumisi nang nakakaloko. “I can’t forget it either. Kalokohan ang sinabi mong basta na lang natin kalimutan ’yon. We were great together. Explosive. I want to do it again…touch you again…kiss you…feel you…”
“Please, Luck, stop it.” Halos mamilipit na siya sa takot na marinig ng iba ang mga pinagsasasabi nito. But her insides were also clenching with a now familiar ache, a molten heat building in her lower belly at his provocative words.
Nakahinga siya nang maluwag nang i-deliver ng waiter ang kanilang appetizers.
He did what he usually did. Her served her. Gusto niyang pigilin ito, na kaya naman niya. Ngayon niya nakikita kung gaano siya ka-dependent dito. Ultimo pagkain, sinisilbihan siya nitong parang bata. Dati, gustong-gusto niya iyon. Pero ngayon…
Pero hinayaan niya ito. Sobra na niya itong sinupla ngayong gabi. Baka magalit na ito nang tuluyan sa kanya.
“Kain na,” anito at sinalinan ng wine ang baso niya.
“Thanks.” Nagsimula siyang kumain. Ginanahan na rin naman siya. Na-miss niya ang pagkain sa Seta.
“Luck!”
Kapwa sila napalingon sa pinagmulan ng boses.
Ngumiti si Lucky. “Hey, Klau.” Tumayo ito at bineso ang babaing lumapit sa kanilang mesa. Humalik naman ang babae malapit sa mga labi ni Lucky.
“Hello, stranger. You haven’t called me up as you promised. Nagtatampo na ako sa ’yo,” sabi nito nang buong lambing.
Kate could not help it. Hindi niya mapaglabanan ang bugso ng emosyong rumagasa sa kanyang dibdib pagkakita kay Klaudia na parang sawang pumulupot kay Lucky. Gusto niyang itulak ang babae palayo rito.
Geez. Naloloka na yata siya. At bakit naman niya gagawin iyon? How petty.
“Oh hi, Kate!” Klaudia belatedly greeted her. As if naman duwende siya sa liit na hindi agad nito nakita.
She gave the woman a fake smile.
“I’m surprised to see you back in the circ so soon after that dreadful scandal. We thought you went abroad or something and would be MIA for like months.”
What a bitch! Reyna rin ito ng kataklesahan ’no? Nanggigigil na siya rito, pero nginitian pa rin niya ito na parang wala lang sa kanya ang sinabi nito. “And why not, Klaudia? There are plenty of men out there, just dying to take Nico’s place.” Her ex’s name tasted like acid on her tongue and she had to congratulate herself for her composure.
Tumaas ang isang kilay nito. “Ah, well, I just hope you haven’t set your sights on Lucky here.”
Tumaas din ang kilay niya. “Oh no, no. Lucky and I are just friends. Don’t worry, he’s all yours.”
Nakita niyang naningkit ang mga mata ni Lucky. She smirked at him.
“Mabuti kung gan’on. Mabuti nang klaro, no? Sige, my friends are waiting for me at our table. I’ll call you soon, darling. Pick up, okay?” Muli itong humalik sa pisngi ni Lucky at parang modelong rumarampa na naglakad palayo sa kanila.
“What was that about?” Lucky demanded angrily.
“What about?” painosenting bwelta niya.
“Klaudia ang I were finished months ago. I haven’t seen her in a while.”
“Yeah? By the looks of it, she was ready to jump you again.” Nagkibit-balikat siya. “But it’s really none of my business.”
“It is, dammit! Just as you are my business!” he grated between clenched teeth.
“Lower your voice.”
“Then stop acting like you don’t care, because I know you do.”
“Really Luck, you overstep your boundary. Let me clarify things here. You may be my friend and practically a member of my family, but you don’t own me. Nobody does. My life is my business alone and I will live it the way I want it. Am I making myself clear?”
Lumarawan ang matinding frustration sa mukha nito at tila huhulagpos na ang temper nito anumang oras. Parang sasakalin na siya sa inis. It was quite fun watching him struggle with his temper.
“Magpasalamat ka…”
“Matagal na akong nagpapasalamat sa ’yo para sa buhay ng Daddy ko. Habambuhay ’yon. Pero iba ’yon, iba tayo.”
“Magpasalamat ka at…” Napailing ito. “Tangina…” He uttered the curse so softly and then drank his wine. Hindi na ito umimik.
The ensuing silence between them was unnerving. She got busy with her phone. Alam niyang nakatitig ito sa kanya. Nararamdaman niya iyon sa kanyang balat.
Naibsan ang tensiyon sa pagitan nila nang dumating ang mga pagkaing in-order nila. Their conversation switched to neutral.
“Kailan mo gustong ipagawa iyong bagong branch ng boutique mo?”
“Sa lalong madaling panahon,” kaswal na sagot niya.
“Magkano ang kailangan mong capital?”
“Ahm…napag-isip-isip ko na mag-loan na lang sa bangko.”
“Another change of heart? Bakit ayaw mo na ngayon sa tulong ko?”
Na-guilty naman siya. “Hindi naman sa gano’n, Luck. Siguro mas makabubuti kung ihiwalay na lang natin ang negosyo sa personal na mga bagay.”
“I was talking business, Kate. I will lend you the money you need, and you can pay me back with interest anytime you want.”
Nasukol siya. “Okay, I will accept your offer. Babayaran kita nang buong-buo. Have your lawyer and mine draw the contract soon.”
Tumango ito at iniba na ang usapan. “Next week na ’yong wedding anniversary ng parents mo. I heard they’re throwing a huge party.”
Mabuti pa ito, updated sa mga ganap sa pamilya Deleste. Siya naman ay sobrang out of touch at oblivious the past weeks. And trust her clan to bounce back from a scandal by throwing the biggest bash in town. She was sure, ideya ’yon ng Tita Selena niya. Kapatid ito ng kanyang ina.
“Yeah. Life goes on,” mahinang sabi niya.
“Yes, angel. Life goes on.”
HINDI sila nagtagal sa restaurant. Nang matapos silang kumain ay nagyaya na si Kate na umuwi na sila. Dati, they would linger and talk some more. But she just didn’t have anything to say to him. Parang tumigas ang puso niya na hindi niya maintindihan. Ayaw niyang may nakakaalam sa damdamin niya. Kahit si Lucky pa.
Sumakay pa rin siya sa Maybach nito pauwi. Ayaw nitong pumayag na hindi siya maihatid hanggang sa bahay nila. Hindi na siya nakipagtalo. Lucky was always paranoid about security. He was in the security business, after all.
Sa sasakyan, tahimik pa rin sila pareho.
“Kate…” tawag nito sa kanya makalipas ang maraming minuto.
“Hmm?” sagot niya na hindi tumingin dito.
“You can talk to me anytime, you know that, right?”
Hindi siya umimik.
“Wala namang nagbago sa akin. Sabi mo ayaw mong may magbago sa atin.”
Sinabi nga niya iyon, pero iba naman ang nararamdaman niya ngayon. Ayaw niyang mag-pretend.
“I’m still your best friend. Always.”
Parang piniga ang dibdib niya sa sinabi nito. “Thank you, Luck.” Iyon na lamang ang nasabi niya. She felt so sad for them, and she didn’t know why. Parang may namamatay sa pagitan nila, isang bagay na hindi na maibabalik pa.
Bago sila naghiwalay nang gabing iyon, he kissed her again passionately. She froze in his arms as his tongue briefly explored her mouth, reminding her that they’d been lovers not long ago. Her mind was screaming to push him away, but her body was melting into him. It was the most disconcerting feeling that awakened all her defense mechanism.
“Tandaan mo ito, angel. We belong together. Fight it all you want, but what we have can never be denied. You’re mine and I’m yours.”
Iniwan siya nitong nakatulala sa may front door ng kanilang mansiyon.
9
I know everyone’s excited here for every UPDATE, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. But give me some leeway, babies. I’m excited to UPDATE too! But editing and revising takes a bit of time, plus I’m also writing new materials for my full English lineup. But I’m all for this fever the Watty version of LUCKY has generated recently. Know that I appreciate all your votes and comments here. Sana huwag kayong magsasawa. Natatawa at natutuwa ako pag nagbabasa ng mga candid comments ninyo about Lucky’s kamartiran/katangahan and Kate’s kaartehan. Ganyan ang pag-ibig, full of drama, both senseless and meaningful. Kapag wala ’yon ’di naman kayo masyadong kikiligin, di ba? Dapat may highs and lows, para roller coaster hahaha. Hindi ako sadista, hopeless romantic lang tulad ninyo.
Again thank you so much! Love you all! ~eve
ABALA ang mga kababaihang Deleste sa paghahanda para sa wedding anniversary ng mga itinuturing na patriarch at matriarch ng Deleste clan kinagabihan. Sa mismong grounds ng Deleste mansion gaganapin ang malaking okasyon, a lavish garden party.
Kahit may binayarang party organizers ay involved pa rin si Kate sa bawat detalye ng preparasyon. Metikulosa siya, and anything to take her mind off of her internal struggles, she was all for it.
“Si Lucky, is he coming tonight?” tanong ng Tita Selena niya sa kanya.
“Iyon pa, mawawala?” she replied casually. They were both walking around the set-up, inspecting each table arrangement. She wanted everything to be impeccable.
“Parang bihira ko siyang makita rito sa mansiyon lately.”
“Tita, Lucky is a very busy man. Marami siyang mga negosyong dapat asikasuhin.”
“You know, Kate, Lucky is a wonderful man.”
Hindi siya nagkomento sa sinabi nito. Paborito nito si Lucky. Natural, biased ito.
“Kahit kailan ba ay di man lang kayo na-develop sa isa’t isa?”
“Tita, I was engaged!” bulalas niya, bahagyang kinabahan. May alam kayo ito tungkol sa kanila ni Lucky? Imposible naman. Silang dalawa lang ni Lucky ang nakakaalam sa sikreto nila, at hindi ito kiss and tell. Never niya itong narinig na nagbida tungkol sa mga babaing naka-date nito. Sa kanya pa kaya na BFF nito? He was a gentleman through and through, and she truly believed that. Hindi siya dapat mag-alala.
“Nagtatanong lang naman ako,” nangingiting sabi ng kanyang tiyahin.
“Well, kung anuman ang iniisip n’yo, imposible po ’yon.”
“Talaga? I happen to think that you and Lucky are far better suited for each other than you and Nico.”
“Tita!” Pinandilatan niya ito ng mga mata, naasiwa sa itinatakbo ng usapan nila.
Tumawa lang ito, her beautiful eyes twinkling speculatively. “When I look at the two of you together, I see fire and chemistry. Importante iyon sa pagsasama ng mag-asawa.”
“Bakit naman ho nasali ang pag-aasawa sa topic?”
“Open your eyes, darling. Iilan na lang ang mga lalaking tulad ni Lucky. He’s a real gentleman, a cowboy at heart. Strong, and yet very gentle, and so fine-looking! That boy!”
“He’s not a boy,” pagtatama niya rito.
“To me, he is, but to you…he’s definitely a very hot-looking man.” Nakakaloko ang tawa nito.
Her aunt was in her late forties and a widow, but her classic beauty belied her age. She had two teenage children from her dead husband, a real estate magnate. Ngayon ay isa ito sa mga maiimpluwensiyang babae sa bansa dahil sa mga philantropic causes nito. She really loved her, but her aunt could become too meddlesome at times. Ngayon ay mukhang nagma-matchmake ito at si Lucky pa ang napiling ireto sa kanya after Nico. Of all people!
“Para kang si Karen, Tita.”
“Huh?” Hindi nito nakuha ang ibig niyang sabihin.
“Ay, ewan ko sa inyo. Kung anu-ano ang iniisip n’yo.”
“My instincts have never failed me, hija,” she said with certainty.
“And what do you see, pray tell?” hamon niya rito.
“Open your eyes, Kate, and you will know.”
Tumatawang lumakad ito palayo sa kanya papunta sa may swimming pool kung saan nagtatampisaw sa tubig ang ilang teenagers na mga pinsan niya.
Tumunog ang message tone ng kanyang cellphone. She checked it out. Galing kay Lucky ang message.
What are you doing?
Ang kulit talaga nito. It was his sixth message for the day. Sinagot na niya iyon because she’d ignored the rest of his earlier messages.
Prepping for tonight, sagot niya.
See you then.
Ganoon lang ang mga messages nito. Simple at maiiksi lang. Hindi na sweet tulad ng dati. It was a bit too formal from what she was used to. Oh, well…
They hadn’t seen each other since they had dinner at Seta a few days ago. She’d decided to turn her phone on again. Hindi naman pwedeng forever na naka-turn off iyon. Tumatawag si Lucky sa kanya every day para kumustahin siya. Hindi niya ito sinasagot kaya sa voice mail niya dumederetso ang mga tawag nito. Nag-iiwan naman ito ng mga maiikling voice messages sa kanya. Sinasabi nito kung nasaan ito, kung ano ang ginagawa nito, kung nasa meeting ito o ano. Hindi naman nito kailangang gawin iyon, pero may tuwa rin siyang naramdaman sa effort nitong mapanatili ang dati nilang samahan. Na imposible nang mangyari.
Sobrang nagi-guilty na siya sa kanyang inaasal, pero hindi niya talaga magawang umakto na parang walang nangyari sa kanila. Tama naman ito na kalokohan nga iyong sinabi niya noon, dahil ang totoo, nasira na ang dating malinis na samahan nila bilang magkaibigan, nabahiran na ng malisya. Lucky could no longer act platonic around her even if he tried. And neither could she.
Awkward na talaga sila sa isa’t isa, lalo na siya, and she didn’t know how to rebuild what was lost between them. Panahon na lang siguro ang makakapagsabi kung ano na ang susunod na mangyayari sa friendship nila.
MULING PINAGMASDAN ni Kate ang sariling repleksiyon sa full-length mirror sa kanyang silid. She looked sophisticated and sexy sa suot niyang pulang evening gown. She felt it, too. Nakakatulong iyon sa confidence niya na muling humarap sa madla at makipagsosyalan. Kahit ang self-esteem niya ay nasa lupa sa sobrang baba ngayon, she could pretend with this ravishing dress.
She wanted to show off tonight. Alam niya, ngayong gabi, lahat ng mga mata ay papako sa kanya. They would scrutinize her, look for a hint of depression that everyone was expecting from someone who got jilted at the altar. But she would not give them the satisfaction. Tonight, she would once more play the perfect hostess, the ever graceful Kate Deleste that those magazines had always talked about.
Lumabas siya ng kanyang silid na puno ng determinasyon. Naglakad siya sa hallway ng second level ng kanilang mansiyon, feeling the silk inner lining of her gown slither around her legs like a serpent caressing her skin. It had a strange soothing effect on her nerves. Narating niya ang hagdan.
“Showing off tonight, angel?”
Her heart did a somersault. Nakasandal si Lucky sa newel post sa paanan ng grand staircase, so dapper in his three-piece suit. Black tie ang party and Lucky knew how to dress for the occasion. He was the perfect escort for every woman, guaranteed to make that woman feel lucky in the eyes of others, pun intended. Siguradong mababaliw na naman si Karen mamaya. Kinukulit siya nito sa text kung a-attend ba sa party si Lucky.
Napahawak siya sa banister. “Hi.”
Naglakbay ang mga mata nito sa kanyang kabuuan, nagtagal sa bandang dibdib niya at balakang. Pinilit niyang hindi ma-self-conscious.
“Must you wear that?” may disgusto sa tono nito.
Dahan-dahan siyang bumaba with all the grace and poise of a queen. Yes, queen, no longer a clueless princess who needed a man’s approval for her validation. Dati, nakadepende kay Nico ang self-confidence niya. Tuwang-tuwa siya noon kapag ina-approve ni Nico ang mga ginagawa niya. Ngayon, hindi na niya kailangan ang approval ng kahit na sino, lalo na sa pananamit niya. She could damned wear whatever she pleased.
Huminto siya sa tapat nito, bahagyang iniliyad ang dibdib. “What’s wrong with my dress?”
His hot gaze seared her. “Everything. You will draw every man’s eyes to you all night.”
But that’s exactly the idea, darling, gusto niyang sabihin dito, but that sounded petty.
“Ayokong nakikita ka ng ibang lalaki sa ganyang ayos,” prangkang sabi nito. He didn’t mince with words. He was getting more territorial with her and blatantly showing it, too, and she didn’t like it. Hindi siya napa-flatter. Nasasakal siya.
She smirked at him. “What a pity. I happen to love this dress.” It was one of those slinky designer numbers that had been sitting in her closet for so long. She was waiting for a special occasion to wear it for Nico with the intention of seducing her then fiance. The very idea was revolting now.
His finger traced the outline of her low bodice, dipping into her cleavage. She fought the urge to move away from his gentle touch that literally torched her body like a splash of gasoline to a dying ember. “Just remember that you are mine,” he stated possessively.
Binigyan niya ito nang nanunuyang tingin. “You sound so sure. What makes you think I’d settle for exclusivity this time?”
“What do you mean by that?” Bumaba ang tinig nito. His eyes turned darker, and danger flashed in their depths. Gusto niyang umatras. Lucky had always been gentle to her. Wala siyang nakitang anumang violence sa mga mata nito noon, sa mga kilos nito sa kanya. Now, she seemed to be meeting a side of him that she never knew. The dangerous side of him honed from his former life as a soldier. He used to be assigned in the hottest spots in the land, and he ran a company involved in protection and security. She didn’t know so much about that side of him.
“Nothing. I just happen to now share your philosophy towards the opposite sex. Relationships, I’m not good at. Too much, I can’t give.”
Medyo lumambot ang mga mata nito. “Kate…angel…”
“I’m not an angel, Luck. Please, no more of that.”
“You haven’t given him anything,” he said softly, his eyes losing their angry glint.
Naningkit ang kanyang mga mata. How presumptous of him! “How dare you say that? Who are you to judge the depth of my feelings? Hindi ibig sabihin na dahil hindi kami naging sexually intimate ni Nico ay hindi ko siya minahal nang husto. Hindi ibig sabihin na por que ikaw ang nakakuha ng virginity ko ay hawak mo na rin ang puso at kaluluwa ko. It was only sex, Lucky, nothing more.”
Hindi to nakaimik.
She squared her shoulders and walked away from him, her head held high, habang paulit-ulit niyang ibinubulong sa sarili.
Queen. You’re a queen. You call the shots. Yes, you do.
Yes, indeed. Fuck men and their misogynistic expectations. From now on, she would only serve and satisfy her own expectations.
LUCKY watched Kate silently from a distance, fuming inwardly. The woman was driving him to the edge. Kung alam lang nitong gapulgada na lang ang pagtitimpi niya rito. Malapit na siyang maging bayolente sa harap nito. Only Kate could drive him up the wall like this.
Ni minsan sa kalagitnaan ng party ay hindi niya nilapitan si Kate. His ego had suffered blow after blow from her sharp tongue. The tongue that used to speak only the sweetest words to him.
She hated him for taking advantage of her in Punta del Sol. Alam niya iyon, at iyon ang totoo. She was hurting and was acting irrationally, at siya na nasa tamang pag-iisip ay pinatulan ito dala na rin ng desperasyon niyang makalamang kay Nico at sa sinumang lalaking magkainteres dito in the future. He wanted to stake his claim. He didn’t force her, but he forced the situation. This was the consequence of that action. Grave consequence.
He was losing her.
Wala siyang magawa kundi tanggapin iyon, and only hope that she would come around and see how much he loved her. And that she would learn to love him, too. Tapos na siya sa pagiging best friend lang nito. He wanted to be her man, her partner. Her husband.
She laughed and spoke sweetly with almost everyone, paying the perfect hostess for her parents. She was again the goddess of the night. Lahat ng mga single na lalaking naroon ay nakatanghod sa bawat sabihin nito, nakaalalay sa bawat kailangan nito.Nginangatngat ng selos ang buong kamalayan niya kaya minabuti niyang hindi na ito lapitan at baka magkasagutan na naman sila at masira ang magandang mood nito ngayong gabi. Nakakahiya sa mga magulang nito.
May tumapik sa balikat niya mula sa likuran. Alam niya agad kung sino ito base sa bigat ng kamay nito.
“X,” aniya rito. “Pare.”
Tumabi si Alexis sa kanya. Inabutan siya ng isang kopita. “Raining Dom tonight,” anito patungkol sa mga basong kapwa nila hawak na naglalaman ng Dom Perignon, the Delestes’ choice of drink every party. “Drink up. Mukha kang naisahan ng isang matinik na sugarol sa casino mo.”
He took a sip from his glass. The champagne travelled down his throat to his stomach, warming his insides.
“Hindi ka yata nagagawi sa Lothario lately. Hinahanap ka na ng tropa.”
“Medyo busy lang sa trabaho.” Ang totoo, mula noong may nangyari sa kanila ni Kate sa Punta del Sol, wala na siyang ganang magpunta sa Lothario para lapitan ng mga geishas. He would give up his suite there soon, pero hindi muna niya sasabihin iyon kay Alexis. Siguradong magtatanong ito nang sangkaterba, idagdag pa ang tropa nila.
“Kumusta ang expansion mo sa Subic? Underway na ba?”
Nawala kay Alexis ang atensiyon niya nang makita niya si Ariston Sandejas na lumapit kay Kate. Isa si Aris sa mga pinakabatikang arkitekto sa buong Asya. Nagtagis ang mga bagang niya nang bumeso ito kay Kate. Ang makitang madikit ang balat ni Kate kahit isang segundo lang sa kahit na sinong lalaki ay inaatake na siya ng selos. Tumawa si Kate sa kung anumang sinabi ni Aris at saka nakiumpok ang mga ito sa ilang guests.
“Ang ganda talaga ni Kate, ’no?”
Muling bumalik kay Alexis ang atensiyon niya nang banggitin naman nito ang pangalan ni Kate. Mas lalong ayaw niyang nagkakainteres ang kaibigan niyang ito kay Kate. Alexis was the biggest player among them all, but he seemed to have a soft spot for Kate. Nakatingin ito kay Kate nang may paghanga.
“Hindi ko alam kung anong nakain ni Nico at nagawa niya iyon.”
“Kumain ng isang Lothario dancer,” maasim na sabi niya. “You didn’t hear that from me though.”
Nagulat ito. “Si Laila?”
Tumango siya.
Napailing ito. “Maaan. Para tuloy kasalanan ko ito eh. Kung di ko tinanggap si Laila sa Lothario, baka hindi sila nag-hook up ni Nico.”
“You didn’t put a gun to his head to do anything. It was his choice.”
Hindi ito umimik nang ilang saglit. Maya-maya’y nagkibit-balikat ito. “Pero come to think of it, pare, kung ’di dahil sa akin, hindi makikilala ni Nico si Laila, at hindi rin makakansela ang kasal nina Kate at Nico. Kung hindi nangyari ang mga ’yon, baka mas miserable ka pa ngayon.”
Napamaang siya rito. Alexis was grinning at him smugly.
“The field is wide open, man. Baka maunahan ka pa ni Aris sa first base.”
He almost snorted. Kung alam lang nito na naka-home run na siya.
“’Tado,” sabi na lamang niya.
“Lapitan mo na. Ano ba, pare, ang torpe mo talaga pagdating kay Kate.”
Napabuntong-hininga siya. Totoo iyon. Pagdating kay Kate, nawawala lahat ang mga experiences niya sa babae. Para siyang teenager na natotorpe rito. “Pare, may itatanong ako.”
“Ano ’yon?”
“Kelan mo nahalatang ano…na ano…”
“Tagal na, bro. Everyone sa barkada knows, including Nico.” Natawa ito. “Akala mo hindi ka napaghahalata? Eh si Kate lang ang nakakapagpaalis sa ’yo sa Lothario sa kalagitnaan ng Citizen Dildo,” anito at natawa pang lalo.
Nag-init ang mukha niya sa embarrassment.
Itinulak siya nito sa likod. “Puntahan mo na. Ayun o, humahataw na si Aris. Saka hahataw na rin ako,” anito at kinawayan ang grupo ng mga babaing kakilala nila sa ’di kalayuan. The FTF girls kung tawagin nila sa tropa ang mga ito. Fast trust fund girls. Puro game ang mga ito sa kama. Nakatingin ang mga ito sa kanila, nag-aanyaya.
“May hindi ka pa ba natikman sa mga ’yan?” tanong niya kay Alexis out of curiosity.
“’Yung naka-black gown, hindi pa. The new ambassador from Spain’s daughter.”
Updated talaga palagi pagdating sa babae si Alexis. He clapped his friend’s shoulder. “Sige, goodluck, pare. I know you’ll get her.”
Naiiling na iniwan niya ito. Nagsasayaw na sina Kate at Aris sa saliw ng musikang hatid ng string quartet band. Sumentro ang tingin niya sa kamay ni Aris na nakadaiti sa hubad na likod ni Kate. Jealousy was consuming him up fast.
Binilisan niya ang paglakad para mag-cut sa sayaw ng dalawa.
Na-intercept siya ng tiyahin ni Kate na si Selena. “Lucky! Look how gorgeous you are in that suit! Halika, isayaw mo ako,” yaya nito at hinila siya sa grupo ng mga guests na nagsasayaw.
Napilitan siyang isayaw si Selena. His eyes kept straying toward Aris and Kate’s direction just a few meters away.
“Beautiful, isn’t she?”
“Ho?”
She smiled knowingly. “Hindi niya alam ang nararamdaman niya. You need to show her para kilalanin niya ’yon. She’s willful and stubborn. And she thinks that her heart has been broken. I don’t think so. Badly bruised, yes, but not broken.”
“What are you talking about, Tita?” pagkakaila niya.
Tumawa ito nang malamyos. “Come on, darling. l’ve seen the two of you together for so long. You worship the ground she walks on.”
She got him, too. Hindi na siya pwedeng magkaila rito. She’d seen through him. Just like Alexis did. Just like everyone did, it seemed.
“Hindi lahat ng mahal natin ay nakukuha sa tiyaga. Minsan kailangang pilitin para lumagay sa ayos. Parang dislocated shoulder, gano’n. So, show her. Show her who you really are.”
Hinaplos nito ang pisngi niya saka ito bumitaw sa kanya at lumakad palayo.
Naiwan siyang nakatayo roon, medyo natulala sa sinabi ni Selena. Dislocated shoulder. What a way to put it. Nagtama ang mga mata nila ni Kate. Her eyes were challenging him.
Pagkuwa’y tinalikuran niya ito at lumayo.
Dislocated shoulder. Napangiti siya sa analogy ni Selena. Mukhang pareho sila ng diskarte ng tiyahin ni Kate.
Indeed, words of wisdom coming from a woman who’d been there, done that.
HINAHANAP NI KATE sa kumpol ng mga guests si Lucky, pero hindi niya ito makita. Ewan niya pero nakaramdam siya ng lungkot. Mas matuwa nga dapat siya kasi hindi na siya maaasiwa buong gabi, pero iba naman ang nararamdaman niya.
“Aris, will you excuse me for a bit? I just wanna freshen up in the house.”
“Sure, Kate. I’ll walk you there.”
“No, okay lang ako. Now be a good boy and talk to Karen. She’s at the poolside, mukhang nalulungkot. Wala kasing date,” nakangiting sabi niya. Kanina pa siya ayaw lubayan ng binata.
“Aw, ipinamimigay mo naman ako niyan eh.” He grinned boyishly. Guwapo ito, super successful sa career nito bilang arkitekto at galing sa buena familia. He was a great catch and would make some woman very happy and proud. Unfortunately, hindi niya kayang ibalik ang obvious na pagkagusto nito sa kanya.
“I’ll be back in few minutes, promise.”
“Okay. Hihintayin kita.”
Nilakad niya ang paved walk papunta sa kanilang mansiyon. Umakyat siya sa kanyang silid sa second floor.
Where was Lucky? Umalis kaya ito nang maaga? Pagkatapos ng eksena nila kanina sa may hagdan, hindi na siya muling nilapitan nito, not even to dance. Nakita niyang isinayaw nito ang kanyang Tita Selena kanina, and for a second she thought he would cut through her dance with Aris, pero hindi nito ginawa.
Panakaw-nakaw ang sulyap niya rito buong gabi. Pero bakit ba siya naaapektuhan kung umalis man ito nang hindi nagpapaalam?
Pakiramdam niya’y na-drain ang utak niya. Hindi na niya maintindihan ang sarili pagdating kay Lucky. He was a constant source of confusion to her senses lately. Mas magulo pa ang utak niya pag si Lucky ang iniisip niya kumpara kay Nico.
Humiga siya sa kanyang kama. Magpapahinga lang siya nang konti.
Maya-maya’y bumukas ang pinto ng kanyang silid.
Pumasok si Lucky at ini-lock ang pinto.
Napabalikwas siya sa kama. “Luck!”
“Happy to see me?” he drawled mockingly.
Naghubad ito ng suot na suit jacket at ipinatong iyon sa isang armchair.
“Akala ko umalis ka na.”
“Ah, so you noticed my absence. Akala ko pa naman ay hindi ka aware if I was there or not. You were very preoccupied with Aris.”
He unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his lean, muscled torso.
Her throat went dry. “W-what are you doing?” Her voice quivered. Her body temperature rose up fast.
Lumakad ito palapit sa paanan ng kama. “I’m going to fuck your brains out.”
Napasinghap siya sa shock. Lucky had never spoken to her in such a vulgar manner.
Kinuha nito ang kanyang kamay at dinala sa pagkalalaki nito. “This will no longer be denied.”
10
THIS CHAPTER IS DROPPING ON OCT 18 (USA TIME)
Sa mga atat sa bakbakang ito, konting tiyaga sa pag-abangers, dahil siguradong may reward lol. Hindi naman ganoon katagal no? Para 24 hrs lang eh. Thanks for rooting for Lucky to up his game. He sure will put Kate in her proper place in this chapter. On her knees and under him! hahaha. Hope hindi naman magka-problema sa downloading:))))Love u all! xoxo
SOUNDTRACK
NEVER BE THE SAME by Camilla Cabello
GUSTO NIYANG PUMIKSI at itulak ito, but her body betrayed her. She felt liquid heat uncurling deep within her belly, hardening her nipples.
The hard ridge of his manhood seared her palm as he pressed her hand harder to it.
“Hindi mo ba na-miss ’yan?” tanong nito.
Hinila niya ang kamay, pero hindi siya nito binitiwan. She glared up at him. “Let me go.”
Ngumisi ito, binalewala ang sinabi niya. “Ako, na-miss kita. I thought of you every day… and every time I did, I got hard…. Very hard.” He ground his hips against her hand. “Just like now. Feel that, baby? That’s for you. All for you.”
Bumilis ang paghinga niya, pilit na nilabanan ang init na lumukob sa buo niyang katawan. His nearness was causing every cell in her body to tingle in sexual awareness. Langhap niya ang amoy nito, magkahalong cologne at pagnanasa. She could feel him under her palm, hot and very hard, pulsing with life.
“I’m dying to be inside you again, feel your tight pssy around my cck again. Hindi mo ba na-miss, ’yon, angel?”
Sinapo ng kamay nito ang kanyang baba, itinaas ang kanyang mukha upang magtama ang kanilang mga mata. His thumb gently swiped across her lips. Napaka-sensitive ng mga labi niya, ng buong katawan niya. Parang naglulundagan ang bawat himaymay ng kanyang kalamnan.
“Open you mouth,” he commanded, his words soft, but authoritative.
Against the screams of her common sense, she obeyed him, opening her mouth. He pushed his thumb past her lips. “Suck me,” utos nito.
Slowly, she clamped her mouth around his thumb and sucked on it. Napaungol ito. “That’s right, baby…suck it….that’s what your sweet little pssy does to my cck. Alam mo ba kung gaano kasarap ’yan?”
Para siyang malulusaw sa mga sinasabi nito. Dirty words flowed smoothly from his lips, scandalizing every cell in her body, exciting her down to her extremities. Bago pa siya sa pakikipagtalik at nadi-diskubre niya ang mga bagay na hindi niya alam na nakaka-excite pala sa kanya kahit hindi niya ma-imagine ang sarili noon na magugustuhan niya.
He seemed to be pulsing harder in her hand, growing even bigger…
“I bet you’re getting wet for me. Are you wet for me, babe?”
Lalo siyang nag-init sa hiya. Lust and shame was a lethal combination. Malalaman nito maya-maya na basang-basa na siya, at nakakahiya man na sa kabila ng sigaw ng pagtanggi ng utak niyang muling makaniig ito, ang katawan niya’y handang-handang angkinin nitong muli. The contrast of emotions only intensified the craving inside her.
He leaned over her, forcing her back on the bed with his weight, his fresh, woodsy scent teasing her senses. He smelled so good…so male….
“Luck…” she wanted to protest, but it sounded like surrender. Ang init-init ng pakiramdam niya, ang sikip-sikip ng damit niya.
“This sorry excuse for a dress…” he held the flimsy material of her gown at the bodice. “Has been making me miserable all night.” He tore the fabric in half, all the way down to her hips.
Gusto niyang magalit dito. That was a unique Elie Saab from his shop in Paris! Nagiging ugali na nitong punitin ang mga gowns niya, hindi makapaghintay na hubarin ang mga iyon nang maayos. But did she really care right now when his eyes were feasting on her exposed body?
He sat astride her, cupping her full, now super-sensitive breasts in his palms, squeezing them possessively. Nakagat niya ang labi para pigilin ang ungol nang laruin ng mga daliri nito ang kanyang nipples.
“Sinadya mong suotin ito para inisin ako, ano?”
“N-no…” she gasped, melting under his touch. Parang may mga boltake ng kuryente na gumapagapang mula sa mga nipples niya papunta sa pagitan ng kanyang mga hita at doon pumondo lahat. She could feel her juices flow even more, drenching her panties.
“No? Then I guess you were trying to seduce me then?” His bent, and his lips enveloped one nipple, sucking gently… then went to the other one.
A fresh onslaught of desire shot through her. She writhed under him, pressing her chest up against his face even as her mind screamed in denial.
“No, no, no..”
“Ah, Kate…you say too many nos, but your body says otherwise.”
“Bastard…I hate you…!”
He grinned and moved off of her, his hands going under her gown, pulling her underwear down her legs.
Then he was between her legs in a flash, moving slickly like a beast above her.
“Let’s see how much you hate me…” He pushed the voluminous layers of her gown around her hips, exposing her to his eyes.
Napapikit siya nang mariin. Gusto niyang matunaw sa hiya dahil alam niyang obvious ang pananabik niya rito. She was flowing there like a river!
“Yeah, you must really hate me, babe…” masuyong sabi nito. “I sometimes hate myself too for wanting you so much.”
His words made her open her eyes and meet his gaze. Hot. So hot.
Naglakbay sa magkabilang hita niya ang mga palad nito. Nahigit niya ang hininga.
His fingers reached her femininity. His touch was gentle as he traced her sensitive flesh, spreading her juices all over her swollen folds. “So wet…I’m going to fck this pretty little pssy so hard…Would you like that, babe?”
“Don’t…”
He rubbed her clit. Napaungol siya sa sarap. He played with her like a master, knowing just the right amount of pressure to put on that bundle of nerves. Parang iyon ang sentro ng lahat ng sarap na nararamdaman niya. It seemed that she didn’t know her own body as much as he did.
He licked his fingers, tasting her. Ngumisi ito at para siyang matutunaw sa hiya, pero nalasahan na siya nito noon pa. Ano pa ba ang maitatago niya rito?
“I’ve thought about your delicious pussy every fucking day…” he said while licking his digits slowly. “Did you think about my hard cck stretching your tight pssy, babe?”
“No…”
“No? Let’s remind your p*ssy then…” His hand went back to touch the drenched center of her desire. Naramdaman niyang pumasok ang isang daliri nito sa loob niya. She froze for a bit, then her inner muscles welcomed the intrusion.
“F*ck, so tight,” ungol nito. “You still feel like a virgin, babe. We need to do this a lot to break you into regular fucking mode.”
He sounded so cocky, so sure of himself. Alam niyang talo siya sa labanang ito, but she didn’t have to surrender everything.
“Yeah….I’m sure I’d want more sex now that you’ve introduced me to it…. And I’m going to discover a lot of ways… to pleasure myself…. And not only with you.”
He froze above her. His playful aura quickly morphed into a mask of violence.
Bigla itong tumayo sa kama. Inalis nito nang tuluyan ang dress shirt nito. He stared down at her like a hedonist. He unbuckled his belt and removed the rest of his clothing in one smooth move.
Nanuyo ang lalamunan niya. Nakatayo ito sa kanyang harapan nang walang inhibisyon. The view of his rampant arousal from her vantage point was scary. He was so big! She wondered now how she was able to take him the first time. It would surely hurt again this time.
Lumuhod ito. His manhood was now just a few inches from her face. It was thick and long, scary and yet so beautiful to look at. Ngayon lang niya ito natitigan nang ganito. She could smell him. Musky. Heady. She stared and stared. She couldn’t look away if her life depended on it.
“Touch me.”
She only hesitated for a few seconds. Then she touched him with her fingers. He sucked in his breath.
He wrapped his big hand over her fingers tightly. “F*ck…” he groaned low in his throat, like a purring beast.
He began pumping his hips as if he couldn’t help himself. The sounds coming from him were so sexy and fascinating. Parang sobrang sarap na sarap ito sa ginagawa. Whitish fluid oozed from his tip and she was fascinated like a voyeur.
She gripped his length harder, watching his reaction as she pumped him in her hand.
“This is the only c*ck you’ll ever get in your entire life, you hear me?”
As if she’d ever forget. But she didn’t tell him that. He would only have more power over her.
He guided the wet tip of him to her lips, breathing hard above her.
Hindi naman siya ganoon kaignorante na hindi niya alam ang nais nitong gawin niya. She followed his instincts. She kissed the huge crown, tentatively at first, then she licked him gently like a kitten licking milk, tasting him.
Napamura ito, but she knew he had him, literally in her hands. Adrenaline was rushing through her veins, so thrilled at her new-found power as a woman.
She took the whole crown in her mouth, sucking it, enjoying his heady taste, feeling his raw desire moving in her palm as he groaned like a helpless animal above her, his muscles bunching.
Oh my god…this is freaking awesome!
“God, you little tease…” He pulled abruptly from her. Muli itong pumagitna sa kanyang mga hita.
He rubbed his hardness along her now super wet slit. Hindi na niya napigilan ang mapaungol sa sobrang sarap. She wanted nothing more than to feel him sliding inside her again, make this ache in her belly go away.
“Lucky, please…!”
“Please what, baby?”
“Please!”
“Please, fuck you? Say it.”
“Fuck you!” she hissed at him. Hating his absolute control of her body and yet craving it like her next breath.
Tumawa ito. “You feisty little vixen. You’re mine. Mine alone.”
He kissed her hard, his tongue driving into her mouth as he drove his manhood inside her, filling her, stretching her all the way in. He didn’t stop until he was seated to the hilt.
“Ohhhh ffff*ck, baby, so goood…!”
Napadaing siya. Parang mapipilas ang pakiramdam niya. She felt so full of him and her inner muscles struggled to accommodate his thickness.
Parang alam naman nito na nasasaktan siya. Nagdahan-dahan ito sa paggalaw. He pulled out slowly, then pushed back in gently…again and again…hanggang sa naka-adjust na siya.
He squeezed her breasts possessively and sucked her nipples voraciously as he quickened his pace.
In out. In out. In out…
Her inner muscles were now craving every glide of his thickness inside her…moving faster…and faster still…
Until he was pounding her into the mattress and all she could do was cling to him from the inside out as he rode her masterfully, dragging her body toward a peak of pleasure that she already knew existed. Dalawang beses na siyang nakarating doon dahil dito. She was going there again as surely as her next breath. And she went for it wildly.
He raised her legs higher, pushing them wider to her sides as he rammed in and out of her harder, deeper…hitting a spot inside her that felt incredibly delicious.
The ache in her core coiled tighter and tighter, threatening to burst. God, ang sarap-sarap! Mababaliw siguro siya kapag biglang tumigil ito sa ginagawa.
“Come for me, babe. Come for me…F*ck, I’m coming…!”
The delicious pressure inside her imploded. Her sheath convulsed around him, squeezing him hard as he drove roughly inside her. Fireworks of incredible sensations filled her senses to a climactic intensity.
She was only vaguely aware of him shouting his own pleasure above her, hugging her tightly as he reached his own peak.
Time stood still as they both experienced the exquisite storm of fulfillment.
They held each other like that for she didn’t know how long. Nakasubsob ang mukha nito sa kanyang leeg, and she could feel him licking her skin there soothingly.
It felt so good. A different kind of bliss. This utter serenity inside her after the mighty storm.
Maya-maya’y naramdaman niyang dahan-dahang kumalas ito sa kanya. Napadilat siya.
Tumayo ito at nagsimulang muling isuot ang mga damit nito. Wala silang imikan.
Nawalan siya ng lakas ng loob na magsalita. She just watched him put his clothes back on with a dazed expression on her face. Hindi ito tumitingin sa kanya.
When he finally looked at her again, his eyes were unreadable.
He surveyed her impassively on the bed, sprawled there, still too sated and spent to move a muscle. Ni hindi niya alintana ang kahubdan.
“So…Have you taken anything, Kate?” he asked her mockingly.
Then he went out the door.
Ilang saglit siyang hindi nakahuma.
He just fucked her to prove a point.
And prove it, he did.
HINDI ALAM NI KATE kung gaano siya katagal na nakahiga sa kama, nakatitig sa kawalan. Nagulat na lang siya nang may pumasok sa kuwarto niya.
Ang kanyang Mommy! Mabilis na hinila niya ang kumot hanggang leeg niya.
“Hija, why are you here?”
“Mom…!”
“Hinahanap ka na ng mga bisita. Bigla kang nawala.” Her mother surveyed her on the bed. Oh God, sana ay hindi makahalata ang Mommy niya. “You look pale. Are you okay?” Her mother glanced at her gown on the floor.
“Mom, I’ll be out in a minute. Medyo napagod ako kanina. At saka masikip kasi ’yong gown, I felt kind of uncomfortable. Tapos nahiga ako to relax, hindi ko namalayan ang oras. Magbibihis lang ako. Lalabas na po ako kaagad.”
“Okay…Hinahanap ka ng Daddy mo.”
“Okay po. Susunod na ako agad.”
Tumalikod na ito at lumabas ng silid.
Agad siyang bumangon at tinakbo ang pinto para i-lock iyon.
Dali-dali niyang tinungo ang walk-in closet at namili ng bagong isusuot. Wala ng pag-asa ang pulang gown niya.
Wala na siyang panahon para maligo, kaya nagpunas na lang siya ng hot towel sa buong katawan. She wanted to wipe the traces of Lucky from her most private parts. But she couldn’t wipe it all clean even if she wanted to. It was all in her mind. She could still feel him moving inside her.
Napamura siya. Galit siya sa sarili. Wala na siyang excuse ngayon. Mahina lang talaga siya. It was so easy for him to seduce her body. He was very experienced with sex, kaya wala siyang laban dito. Pero inis na inis siyang lalo na ipinamumukha nito sa kanya na kayang-kaya siya nitong makuha kung kelan at saan nito gusto.
Naglagay siya nang mas light na makeup. Konting eyeshadow at lip gloss lang.
Muli siyang bumalik sa kasayahan sa hardin.
KATE saw Lucky sitting at a table with his friends. Ang mga kaibigan ni Lucky ay mga kaibigan din ni DL kaya imbitado ang mga ito sa anumang handaan sa pamamahay ng mga Deleste. Naroon sina Alexis Benedicto, Russel Vardeverro, Jonty Silverio at Kit del Bianco.
Limihis siya ng daan para iwasan ang mga ito pero sinalubong siya ni Karen.
“Girl, saan ka ba nagpunta? I’ve been looking all over for you. Hindi mo sinasagot ang mga tawag ko.”
“Uhm, sumakit ang ulo ko kanina. Saka naiwan ’yong phone ko sa table nina Mommy. Pumunta ako ng bahay para magpahinga sandali,” pagdadahilan niya.
“What happened to your red gown?”
“Nasisikipan ako, eh. Gusto kong mag-relax at makahinga nang maayos.”
“Well, this dress is also fab! Zac Posen?”
“Yeah.”
“Lovet!”
“Thanks.”
“Girl, andun si Lucky o.” Itinuro nito ng nguso ang grupo nina Lucky.
“O, tapos?”
“Halika, mag-join tayo sa kanila.”
“Ha? Ikaw na lang.”
“Samahan mo naman ako, please. Hindi ko masyadong nakaka-jam ang barkada niya kaya medyo nahihiya akong basta na lang mag-join sa grupo nila.”
“I…hinihintay ako ni Aris,” pag-iwas niya. Diyos ko naman si Karen, ang kulit!
“Andun sa grupo nila si Aris, o. Halika na.”
Hinila na siya ni Karen palapit sa grupo nina Lucky. Napilitan siyang sumama rito.
Pinisil ni Karen ang braso niya para magsalita siya. Naumid siya nang makasalubong ang mga mata ni Lucky.
“Katey!” bati ni Alexis sa kanya at nilapitan sila ni Karen. “Katey, you looked ravishing in red, but in white, you look like an angel,” puri nito.
Ninenerbiyos siyang ngumiti. Matalim na kasi ang titig ni Lucky sa kanila ni Alexis. “Thank you, Alex.”
Hindi tumayo si Lucky para lapitan siya. Normally, ito ang unang tatayo at lalapit sa kanya para alalayan siya. Ngayon, tiningnan lang siya nito at prenteng nakaupo roon.
Muling pinisil ni Karen ang braso niya. “Uhm, by the way, you’ve met my friend Karen before, right?”
“Oh yeah, of course. You’re an artist, right? I think I saw you with Yandra once. Was it at MAB?” tanong ni Alexis kay Karen patungkol kay Alyandra Monleon na isa ring magaling na pintor. Ang MAB ay ang sikat na club na pag-aari ni Alexis. Hangout iyon ng lahat ng A-listers ng Manila. If people wanted to be seen with a bang, they hung out at MAB.
Namumulang ngumiti si Karen. “Yeah. That’s me.”
Bineso ito ni Alexis. “Next time you go there and you see me, come directly to my table, okay? You and whoever beautiful friends you’re with.”
Hindi maitago ni Karen ang shock sa imbitasyong iyon. Alexis’ circle was the creme dela creme of the A-list. Her friend was a party girl. Naging kaibigan niya ito dahil mahilig siya sa art at paborito niya ang mga gawa ni Karen. Napakatalino ni Karen at marami siyang natututunan dito, pero hindi sila pareho ng lifestyle pagdating sa pakikipagrelasyon. And yet, magkasundo pa rin naman sila. Enjoy siya sa company nito.
Lumapit sa kanila si Aris. “Kate, been waiting for you,” masayang bati nito sa kanya.
Alaganin siyang numiti rito. “Sorry…but I’m back…”
“Dance ulit later?”
“Uhm…okay.”
“Ladies, please join us at our table,” yaya ni Alexis sa kanila.
Nauna na si Karen sa mesa ng mga ito, tumabi kay Lucky. Nagbeso ang mga ito.
Sabay namang humawak sa magkabilang siko niya sina Alexis at Aris.
Ngumisi si Alexis at bumitiw sa kanya. But he went and pulled out a chair for her at their table. Siyempre, doon siya naupo. Tinabihan siya nito sa bandang kaliwa. Katabi niya sa kanan si DL. Nahuli niyang maasim ang tingin ni Aris kay Alexis. Lihim naman siyang natatawa. Napaka-pilyo talaga ni Alexis, hinarangan si Aris. Aris was forced to go back to his chair three seats away from her.
“Hey, sis,” bati ni DL sa kanya.
“Himalang nandito ka pa.” Nakita niya itong may nilalanding isang babaing guest kanina. Marami sa mga babaing guests na kaedad niya ang hindi niya kilala. Malamang ay mga bisita ni DL. Usually, pag kalagitnaan na ng party, nawawala na si DL, siguradong lumayas na kasama ang kung sinumang babae.
“What do you mean? Of course, hindi ko pwedeng iwan ang party ng mga oldies natin. Mawawala ako nang halos one month soon. Saka…I couldn’t let you do this alone. You look great, sis.” He chucked her chin affectionately.
She pinched her brother’s nose playfully. “Sus, parang ang bait-bait mo. Parang totoo lang ’no? Binola mo pa ako.”
Tumawa ito at sinalinan ng champagne ang kopitang nasa harapan niya.
She glanced at Lucky. Karen was chatting him up at nakatuon rito ang atensiyon nito, nakangiting nakikinig kay Karen. Naulinigan niyang nag-uusap ang dalawa sa Italian. Hindi siya marunong mag-Italian. Konti lang ang alam niyang words. Her friend, being a jet-setter, was an eloquent and fun conversationalist, and spoke three European languages fluently– French, Italian and Spanish– kaya masarap itong kausap. May pagkairita siyang naramdaman kay Karen, similar sa naramdaman niya kay Klaudia nang nilandi nito si Lucky. Napainom siya ng champagne.
Nag-usap sina DL at Alexis tungkol sa Formula 21, ang racing league na kung saan ay nakikipagkompetensiya sa pagiging world champion si DL ngayon taon. Dahil napapagitnaan siya ng dalawa, Alexis was involving her in their conversation. Kabisado niya ang usapang racing dahil all her life, exposed siya sa passion ng kapatid. Nagsimula ito sa Go Kart racing, tapos nag-Formula 3 ito, hanggang umabot ito sa Formula 21, and pinakapopular na motor racing league sa buong mundo.
Karen and Lucky were engrossed in their own conversation at hindi na niya makontrol ang namumuong inis sa kanyang dibdib para sa kaibigan. Hiyang-hiya siya sa sarili. Matagal na niyang alam na gustong-gusto ni Karen si Lucky pero heto siya, naiinis dito at kausap si Lucky. Worse, she was fucking Lucky behind Karen’s back.
Nang lapitan siya ni Aris para yayaing sumayaw ulit, agad siyang tumayo at sumama rito. He led her to the clearing near the quartet band playing classical music.
“Kate, can I ask you something?” taong ni Aris sa kanya makalipas nang ilang minutong pagsasayaw nila.
“Sure.”
“I know this might be too early, considering what happened…”
“What is it, Aris? Just tell me.”
“I…I don’t wanna waste time, Kate. I…I really like you. Matagal na. Kahit noong kayo pa ni Nico.”
Hindi siya makaimik. Here was a man expressing interest in her. A prize catch. But she could still feel Lucky between her legs. She still felt sticky there with their combined juices. She felt like a phony.
“Please, don’t get me wrong, Kate. Handa naman akong maghintay. Just give me a chance to prove myself to you. Will you…will you go out on a date with me some time?”
Hindi niya alam ang isasagot. Date? She was dumped on her wedding day, she had sex with her BFF twice, and now Aris was asking her out on a date. Gusto niyang bumitiw dito at tumakbo palayo. Nasasakal siyang hindi niya maintindihan.
“Will you let me think about it, Aris?”
“Of course. Take you time. Hindi ako nagmamadali. I just wanted you to know, that’s all. Hindi ko na kasi kayang itago.” Nagba-blush itong parang teenager.
Ngumiti siya. He was sweet. “Thank you.”
Nang matapos ang tugtugin ay hindi siya bumalik sa mesa nina Lucky. Aris escorted her to her parents’ table. Kausap ng mga ito ang ambassador ng Spain at ang asawa nito. Ang mga ito ang pinaka-importanteng guests nila ngayong gabi dahil kapapalit lang ng embahada ng Spain ng panibagong ambassador para sa Pilipinas.
She spent the rest of the night with them, playing the perfect host with her parents. Makalipas ang isang oras ay nagpaalam na ang ambassador at ang asawa nito.
Inihatid nila ang mga ito sa driveway sa harapan ng kanilang mansiyon. Nang makaalis na ang mga ito ay binalingan siya ng kanyang Mommy, niyakap. “Thank you, hija. You were so great tonight.”
Napangiti siya. “Siyempre naman, Mom. Happy anniversary ulit, guys. I love you both so much.”
Niyakap niya ang mga magulang.
“Hija, mauuna na kaming mag-retire ng Daddy mo. Mukhang nagkakatuwaan pa ang lahat. Ikaw na ang bahala sa mga bisita, okay?”
“Okay, Mom.”
Nakita niyang lumapit si Lucky sa kanila. Magalang itong nagpaalam sa kanyang mga magulang na uuwi na.
“Thank you for coming, hijo. We’ll see you again soon, okay?” malambing na sabi ng Mommy niya rito.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Magkaakbay na pumasok na sa mansiyon ang kanyang Mommy at Daddy.
“Bakit mo iniwan si Karen?” Bite your tongue.
“I didn’t come to this party with her, so hindi ako obligadong ihatid siya pauwi. She has a driver anyway.”
“Ini-expect niyang ihatid mo siya.”
“Gusto mo talagang ihatid ko siya?”
Nagkibit-balikat siya.
Tinitigan siya nito nang matiim. “Ayoko.”
Napataas ang kilay niya. “And why not?”
“Because I don’t want to lead her on and give her false hopes. Karen and I are not happening. It’s you and I that are happening.”
Iniiwas niya ang tingin. His bodyguard brought his car to the driveway. Lumabas ito ng sasakyan at hinintay si Lucky.
Hinapit siya ni Lucky sa baywang.
“Luck, please, people are watching. My brother might see you.”
Napailing ito at binitiwan siya. “You let me fuck you earlier and you’re afraid people are watching. You’re a hypocrite, you know that?”
Nagpanting ang mga taynga niya. “Hindi ka naman siguro kiss and tell, ’no? Gusto mong ipangalandakan sa lahat na nakuha mo ako? Na nakaisa ka sa akin? Ay hindi, nakadalawa na pala. Go ahead,” hamon niya rito. “Go. Ipagsigawan mo!”
Namula ito. “This is not a competition, Kate.”
“No? Then what are you trying to prove by putting me in a compromising situation in front of my family and friends?”
“No, babe. I…I just…” his voice trailed off. Napailing ito.
Pagkuwa’y walang imik itong lumayo sa kanya at lumulan sa sasakyan nito. His car sped away.
Nanghihina siyang napaupo sa top step ng portico. Nasapo niya ng mga kamay ang mukha.
God, what was happening to them?
Habang tumatagal, nagka-clash na sila ni Lucky. Napaka-possessive nito. He was so dominant, so alpha. Na-realise niya, Nico was actually milder in temperament compared to Lucky. Hindi possessive si Nico, hindi diktador.
Taksil lang , sabat ng kanyang common sense.
Pero noon ay willing siyang maging masunuring asawa ni Nico. Kahit nga maging housewife lang siya nito, payag siya noon. She was so submissive. To put it more bluntly, she was a doormat! Kaya nga siya naloko, kasi ang naive-naive niya.
Ngayon ay ayaw na niyang makontrol ng sinumang lalaki. Lucky had the power to push her buttons and he did so by simply being near her.
And yet you let him fuck you twice. He was in total control every time.
It seemed that sex was the only way they could cummunicate now. Hindi niya alam paano sila napunta sa ganoon.
Isa lang ang alam niya. Hinding-hindi na niya ipagkakatiwala ang puso niya kaninuman. Hindi na siya magpapailalim pang muli sa kapangyarihan ng kahit na sinong lalaki. Not even her father. To hell with tradition. She would take control of her own life from now on.
If Lucky really cared about their friendship or what was left of it, mauunawaan siya nito.
11
SOUNDTRACK
THE HEART WANT WHAT IT WANTS cover by Boy Epic (Orig. by Selena Gomez)
THIS CHAPTER IS DROPPING on OCT. 19 SATURDAY (USA TIME)
“HEY, KATE, ang layo naman yata ng iniisip mo.”
Wala sa loob na tiningnan ni Kate si Karen. Kasalukuyan silang nagla-lunch, kasama ang dalawa nilang malapit na kaibigan na sina Lara at Nessa sa isang restaurant sa Rockwell Center. “Uhm, what did you say, girl?”
“Hay naku, girl, forget him. He’s gone! Kaput!” medyo naiiritang sabi nito.
“I wasn’t thinking of Nico,” depensa niya. And that was the truth. Wala naman talagang ibang nakakaalam sa totoong dahilan ng hindi pagkakatuloy ng kasal nila ni Nico maliban kay Lucky. Surprisingly ay hindi niya napagtuunan ng isip ang anuman tungkol kay Nico nang mga nagdaang araw. Masyado siyang binabagabag ng ibang bagay.
“I heard that Nico is back in town!” excited na bulong ni Lara. “His father threatened to disown him if he didn’t come back to Manila.”
Hindi siya umimik. Nagkibit-balikat lang siya at ipinagpatuloy ang pagkain. Pero bumangon ang galit niya sa sinabi ni Lara, hindi lang siya nagpahalata.
For the past month or so, she had not cared to read the news or watch TV or browse her social media accounts. Subsob siya sa trabaho at hindi alintana ang mga tsismis sa kanyang paligid. Her life was having a drastic transformation where Lucky was concerned.
Napabuntong-hininga siya. Ilang araw ng hindi nagpapakita sa kanya si Lucky. Ni hindi ito tumatawag.
“According sa friend kong nagtatrabaho sa SGC, nagkagulo nang husto ang kompanya nang mawala si Nico. It was recently found out na nagtago pala ito sa isang maliit na island sa bandang Visayas,” pagbabalita pa ni Lara. Sa lahat ng mga kaibigan niya ay ito ang pinakamadaldal at mahilig sumagap ng tsismis sa A-list grapevine. Taklesa rin kung minsan.
“Really?” pasimpleng komento niya. So, nagbalik na talaga sa Manila ang hayop na ’yon?
“Yeah. Paano kung bumalik si Nico sa ’yo, Kate?” tanong ni Nessa.
Tumawa siya. “Imposible.”
“Malay mo. Sayang din naman si Nico, ’no? He’s your match pa naman in all aspects,” sabi ni Lara.
“What are you talking about, girl?” sabat ni Karen dito. “After what he did? Subukan niyang magpakita, pupudpurin ko itong mga Louboutins ko sa pagmumukha niya!”
“Gosh, ang barbaric mo naman, girl,” matulis ang ngusong sabi ni Lara na humigop sa straw ng sparkling drink nito. “Chill.”
“Hay naku, there’s no point in crying over spilled milk, Kate,” sabi ni Karen.
“I’m not crying. Do you see me crying?” she snapped at her.
Karen raised her hands. “Sorry, nope, no more tears. Thank God! I can’t stand you moping over that asshole. Just saying.”
“Bakit hindi na lang si Aris ang pagtuunan mo nang pansin, Katey? We all know he’s crazy about you,” pag-iiba ni Nessa ng usapan.
“Hoy, ano ba kayong dalawa? Will you give her a break? Iba na lang ang pag-usapan natin,” si Karen.
“Hmm, sino naman ang gusto mong pag-usapan natin, aber? Si Lucky?” tudyo ni Lara dito.
Parang bombilyang nangislap ang mga mata ni Karen. “In that case…May alam ka ba tungkol kay Lucky na hindi ko pa alam, Lara girl?”
Humagikhik si Lara. “Hay naku, wala kang mapapala sa lalaking ’yon, girl. He treats women like chips in his casino. He will break your heart.”
Ngumiti lang si Karen nang pilya. “I don’t want his heart. I just want his body.”
“Ay, ang landi! Sabagay, he’s got good reviews in that department. Ask Klaudia!” sabi ni Nessa, sabay bungisngis.
Gustong mayamot ni Kate sa mga naririnig. Dati kapag pinag-uusapan ng mga ito si Lucky nang ganito, okay lang sa kanya. Ngayon ay iritang-irita siya.
“Kate, ’di ba sabi mo ilalakad mo ako kay Lucky?” si Karen.
“H-ha?” Hindi niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin kay Karen. Nagi-guilty na nga siya. Talagang ayaw ni Lucky dito at ang tagal maka-pick-up ng hint ng kanyang kaibigan.
“Speak of the devil. Girls, look who just came in,” bulong ni Lara habang nakatuon ang mga mata sa entrada ng restaurant.
Pumasok si Lucky kasama ang isang magandang babae.
“Sino ’yang kasama niya?” inis na bulong ni Karen, salubong kaagad ang mga kilay.
“Mukhang past tense na naman si Klaudia,” komento ni Lara.
“Naku, Kary girl, nasingitan ka sa pila,” pambubuska ni Nessa rito.
“’Shh, palapit na sila rito,” bulong ni Lara na umayos nang upo.
Kate was seeing red. Hindi niya napaghandaan ang biglang naramdaman at pilit niyang kinalma ang sarili. Wow, the nerve! At lalapit pa talaga sa mesa nila!
Lumapit nga si Lucky sa kanilang table, kasunod ang seksing babaeng kasama nito.
“Hey, ladies, I didn’t expect to see you here.”
Oo nga, of all the restaurants na pwede mong pagdalhan ng ka-date mo, dito talaga sa restaurant kung saan nandito rin ako?!
“Hi, Luck,” panabay na bati ng mga kaibigan niya rito. Nakatingin lang siya nang pormal kay Lucky. Ayaw niyang makipag-plastikan dito.
“Kate,” bati nito sa kanya.
Ngayon lang ulit niya ito nakita pagkatapos ng nangyari sa kanila sa mismong silid niya. She didn’t want to be reminded of that now when he was with another woman. Parang damit kung magpalit ito ng babae, at nakapanliliit mang isipin, mukhang isinama na siya sa listahan! Kumukulo ang dugo niya sa isiping iyon. May “you and I are happening” pang nalalaman ang hudas! Obviously now, she could be lumped with Klaudia and this woman he’s with. Just soiled sock in his laundry basket.
“Luck,” she greeted him casually. She even managed to smile.
Tumikhim ang babaeng kasama nito.
“Ah, by the way, ladies, I’d like you to meet Sophie Coscolluela. Sophie, Lara Roxas, Karen Leviste, Nessa Montemayor, and Kate Deleste.”
“Hi, Sophie,” bati ng mga kabigan niya sa babae. Siya naman ay ngumiti lang. Gusto niyang batuhin ng steak knife si Lucky pero pinanatili niyang perfect ang ngiti niya.
“Hello.” Ngumiti si Sophie. She had perfect white teeth and classic features. Halatang may foreign blood ito at parang modelo sa ganda. Kahit labag sa kanyang kalooban ay humanga siya sa class at sophistication ng pananamit nito.
“Pwede ba tayong mag-usap mamaya?” tanong ni Lucky sa kanya. He was, as usual, gorgeous in his casual clothes. Bagay actually ito at si Sophie, she conceded grudgingly. They looked stunning together.
“Tungkol saan?” matabang na tanong niya.
“Sophie here is an Interior Designer. She will design your new shop.”
Tumaas ang mga kilay niya. “Really? I didn’t know that. Kailan mo pa balak sabihin sa akin ’yan?” Nanaig ang pagkainis niya rito.
Nakita niyang ngumiwi nang bahagya si Sophie. Medyo nahiya siya sa inasal. Never siyang nambastos ng tao.
“Later, Kate. Pupunta ako sa bahay ninyo mamaya. Pag-usapan natin.”
“We can talk about it now,” hamon niya. How dare he put her on the spot like this?
“Later. See you around, ladies.” Iyon lang at hinila na nito si Sophie papunta sa reserved table ng mga ito.
Tuluyan nang nasira ang araw niya. Agad siyang nagyayang umalis na sa restaurant na iyon.
HINDI MAPAKALING palakad-lakad si Kate sa kalawakan ng kanilang library. Bubulong-bulong siya. “Who the hell does he think he is?” Nagpupuyos ang kalooban niya habang hinihintay si Lucky. Magtutuos sila ng lalaking iyon. She’d had enough of his maneuverings!
“Ma’am Kate, nariyan na po si Sir Lucky,” saad ng isang maid nila na sumilip sa pinto ng library.
“Patuluyin mo rito, Cora, please.” Huminga siya nang malalim.
Maya-maya pa’y pumasok na si Lucky. As usual, for the past month, he took her breath away with his effortless masculine grace. Iba na ang suot nito kesa sa suot nito sa restaurant kanina. “Hey,” nakangiting bati nito sa kanya.
Hindi siya ngumiti. Ayaw niyang madala sa ngiti. She knew him to be both tough and tender, rough and yet polished, rugged and yet sophisticated. Pero sa kabila niyon ay parang bagong tao ang nakikita niya ngayon, at hindi na iyong dating BFF niya. Parang stranger na nga ang pakiramdam niya rito and it was a peculiar feeling kasi naging sexually intimate pa nga sila. How come na parang estranged na ang pakiramdam niya rito?
Stop it. Get down to business.
Dumeresto ito sa mini-bar at nagsalin ng inumin sa isang baso. Saka siya hinarap nito, sumandal sa bar counter. “Okay Kate, mukhang ikaw ang may gustong sabihin. I’m all ears.”
Diniretsa na niya ito. “Hindi ko na kailangan ng back-up capital.”
“How come?” he arched his thick brows.
“Hihiram na lang ako kay Daddy.”
“Bakit na naman nagbago ang isip mo?”
She inhaled deeply before she spoke. “Kasi masyado kang demanding na investor. Hindi ko gusto na pinangungunahan mo ako sa mga desisyon ko tungkol sa negosyo ko.”
“Such as?” His voice was calm. Too calm. And she resented that. Hindi niya magawang kumalma. Her nerves were jumpy when he was near.
“I never asked you to hire an interior designer for me.”
“May problema ba kay Sophie? She’s the designer at Megatrends. It’s a US-based architectural firm that currently opened a branch here. They’re gonna build my expansion in Subic. They’re the best in the business,” he reasoned out in a business-like tone.
“That’s not the point! Ako ang magdedesisyon sa lahat ng bagay na involved sa negosyo ko, hindi ang kung sino man!” Tumaas na ang tinig niya.
Tinitigan siya nito nang ilang saglit. Matiim. Sinalubong niya ang titig nito.
“What’s wrong with us, Kate?” he asked her softly.
Hindi siya makasagot. Alam niya ang ibig sabihin ng tanong nito, and she didn’t know what to say.
“Baka iniisip mo na bale-wala sa akin ang mga nangyari sa atin. Is that it, Kate? You think I don’t value what you’ve given me?” He was gazing at her tenderly now.
“It has nothing to do with that,” defensive na sabi niya. She would not let him get into her emotions. She wouldn’t mix business with their personal issues.
“It has everything to do with that, and you know it. Admit it, since that night at Punta del Sol, nagbago na ang pakikitungo mo sa akin. You’re building a wall between us. Why? Akala ko ba’y magkaibigan pa rin tayo at ayaw mong may magbago?”
“Luck, nawawala na tayo sa pinag-uusapan.”
Tumawa ito nang hilaw. “Come on, we’re talking about the root cause of all this. I will tell you now. It meant a lot to me. You mean a lot to me, Kate. Handa kitang pakasalan.”
What…what did he just say…?!
Napamaang siya rito. Hindi kaagad siya naka-react. This was a shocker.
Lucky had just proposed to her!
He dropped it in the middle of a business meeting, just throwing it there like he was talking about the weather! Gusto niyang matawa. Pinigil niya pero humulagpos ang tawa niya.
“Have you gone mad?! Kasal?! Kailan lang nakansela ang kasal ko, hindi pa nga humuhupa ang eskandalo at hindi pa namamatay ang mga tsismis, tapos…” Muli siyang tumawa.
Kalmante ang disposisyon niyo, nakatingin lang sa kanya. Kung nainsulto man ito, wala siyang nahalata.
“Hinding-hindi kita iiwan sa araw ng kasal natin o kahit na kailan.”
His softly spoken words and the intensity in his eyes wiped out the incredulity she was feeling. Seryoso nga ito.
Bigla niyang tinalikuran ito. God, this was too bizarre! Sila ni Lucky, magpapakasal?!
“Kate…?”
He was waiting for her answer.
Wala siyang lakas ng loob na harapin ito at makita ang reaksiyon nito sa sasabihin niya. She kept her back to him.
“I don’t think I’m ready for any commitment right now, Luck. I’m not in the right frame, emotionally, mentally, even physically. Maraming salamat sa offer mo, pero ang gusto ko lang gawin sa ngayon ay magtrabaho. I don’t have time for anything else.”
Namayani ang katahimikan. Nakagat niya ang labi.
“Okay, Kate,” sabi nito kapagdaka, malumanay ang tinig. “Can we start over again, then? I still want to invest in your company. Mula sa simula, alam mong naniniwala ako sa business vision mo. Inaamin ko na pinangunahan nga kita tungkol kay Sophie. I apologize. Hindi na muulit.”
Muli niyang hinarap ito. His eyes were tender and sincere, devoid of the authority that he usually displayed.
“Gustong kong and firm ni Aris ang gumawa ng bagong branch ng shop ko,” she said, challenging him to contradict her.
His eyes smoldered for a few beats, then he nodded curtly. “Ikaw ang bahala.”
Nagkibit-balikat siya. “Okay, then, I will set a meeting with Aris next week. Is that fine with you?”
He just nodded.
He finished his drink, and then he left her without another word.
Naiwan siyang nakatulala sa library. Hindi siya makapaniwa sa naganap sa meeting na ’yon.
Lucky proposed to her, and she turned him down flat.
Kung kanina’y natawa siya sa shock, ngayon ay nahalinhan ng lungkot ang kamalayan niya. May kahungkagan siyang naramdaman. Kakaiba sa kahungkagang naramdaman niya nang iwan siya ni Nico.
She did miss what they used to have. The unconditional friendship. It was pure. Buo ang tiwala niya rito noon, open ang damdamin niya rito at wala siyang itinatagong kahit ano. She could talk to him about anything. Ngayon, aaminin niya sa sariling hindi na siya lubos na nagtitiwala rito.
Lucky could no longer function as her best friend. He wanted to own her. Dominate her. Control her. His every action showed how controlling he could get. At nakahanap ito ng paraan paano siya ma-subjugate. Sex. Iyon ang sobra niyang ikinagagalit sa sarili. Pagdating sa sex, Lucky could command her to do his bidding.
He knew her too well. He came on too strong. Alam nito kung ano ang mga kahinaan niya. Lahat, alam nito tungkol sa kanya. Kayang-kaya siya nitong paikutin.
So, aaminin niya ang totoo sa sarili. Natatakot siya rito.
Natatakot siyang maging Nico Version Two ito sa buhay niya na mas matindi nang isandaang beses.
Hindi na niya mapapayagan ’yon.
WHAT THE FUCK was he thinking proposing to her like that out of the blue? Gusto niyang sapakin ang sarili. Hindi niya napigilan ang sarili kanina. Desperado na kasi siya.
He was a fucking joke. Kate deserved better than a proposal that sounded like a spur of the moment decision. She deserved something way special after what she went through with Nico.
She ripped him to pieces when she turned him down flat. He probably deserved that.
Fuck.
Dumiretso siya sa Lothario. Gusto niya ng makausap.
Nadatnan niya roon sina Alexis at Kit. Ang dalawang ito ang talagang matalik na magkaibigan. Magkababata ang mga ito.
He joined them in the great hall.
“Mukhang nalugi ka ng isang bilyon sa negosyo sa hitsura mo, pare.” Sinalinan siya ni Alexis ng isang shot ng Hennessy.
Agad niyang tinungga iyon, saka pagod na sumandal sa backrest ng malambot na armchair.
Nakatingin sa kanya sina Kit at Alexis, naghihintay.
“So, are you gonna spill your guts out? May oras kami ni Kit ngayon para makinig sa drama mo,” si Alexis.
Ngimiti siya nang hilaw. Hindi siya sanay na nagbubukas ng damdamin sa mga ito, lalo na sa usapang pag-ibig. Hindi pinag-uusapan ’yon sa grupo nila. Pero lately, punong-puno na ang dibdib niya ng hinanakit. Gusto na niyang ilabas, kundi mababaliw na siya.
“Siguradong babae ’yan,” sabi ni Kit. “At alam ko kung sino,” dagdag pa nito sa nakakalokong ngisi.
Napailing siya. Running joke na yata sa barkadahan nila ang unrequited love niya kay Kate. All along akala niya naitatago niya nang maayos. Hindi pala. He must look pathetic to them.
“O, ano?” untag ni Alexis. “We’re bored. Entertain us.”
“Wala… Ironic lang kasi.” Bumuntong-hininga siya. “Andami namang babae. Matitino, magaganda, siguradong hindi ako pahihirapan pag pinormahan ko. Pero ang tang-inang ’to,” he banged his fist twice againt his chest, “ang bobong ’to, doon nagsusumiksik sa babaing iba ang mahal.”
Medyo natameme sina Kit at Alexis sa sinabi niya. Pomormal ang mga ito. Inaasahan niyang uulanin siya ng kantiyaw ng mga ito, pero hindi naman ginawa, na ipinagpapasalamat niya. Natunugan siguro ng mga ito na seryoso siya.
“Mahirap ngang ma-friendzone, pare, lalo na pag gustong-gusto mo,” mahinang sabi ni Kit.
“Bakit, na-friendzone ka na ba?” tanong niya rito.
Medyo namatanda si Kit, pagkatapos ay napangiti. “I used to have a best friend in college…” parang wala sa loob na nabanggit nito.
“Parang naaalala ko ’yan. Sino na nga ’yon? Liza?” sabat naman ni Alexis.
Lumamlam ang mga mata ni Kit. “Yeah…Si Lizzy. Elizabeth.”
Na-curious siya. Hindi pa niya naringgan na nagkwento si Kit tungkol sa isang babae na mukhang espesyal para dito. “What happened? May gusto ka sa kanya tapos ni-friendzone ka rin?”
“Hindi. Hindi kami nakarating sa gano’n. We kinda lost contact.”
“Ahhh.” Tumango-tango siya. “Did you love her?”
Nagkibit-balikat ito.
“Do you miss her?”
Muling ngumiti nang malamlam si Kit. “Minsan…When I think about her…” Were his eyes playing tricks on him ? Parang namamasa ang mga mata ni Kit. “She was really…alam mo ’yong klase ng babaing pag kasama mo, mababaw lang ang kaligayahan mo. Ngiti lang niya, masaya ka na.”
Napaubo si Alexis at tinadyakan sa paa si Kit. “Spare me the cheeseballs, brother.”
Gumanti ng tadyak si Kit sa paa nito. “Fuck you, man. Palibhasa puro kantot lang ang alam mo.”
Ngumisi lang si Alexis, hindi naman na-offend. “Bakit, hindi ba kayo nag-e-enjoy sa kantutan fest dito sa Lothario? Ang dami niyo ngang freebies,” bwelta naman nito.
Natawa na lang siya sa dalawa.
“Seriously, Luck, kung ako sa ’yo, hindi ako maghihintay kung kelan niya ako mapansin. You want her, you take her. Parang negosyo lang ’yan, pare. Pag nahihirapan kang i-close ang deal, daanin sa maruming laro, “ si Alexis. “Kailangang brasuhin minsan.”
Gusto niya ulit matawa. Selena and X said the same thing.
“So, kung friend lang ang turing niya sa ’yo, pwes i-unfriend mo siya and have sex with her. Para mawala ’yang friendship na ’yan at mapalitan ng fuckship.”
Siya naman ang napaubo. Kung alam lang ng mga ito.
“Pare, si Kate ’yon, hindi geisha dito sa Lothario,” sabi niya.
“Don’t get me wrong ha, pero dahil namumrublema ka at mukhang nababaliw na, I will say it again. And don’t neg me this time because I’m speaking from personal experience. Pare-pareho lang ang mga babae, bro. The may come from different walks of life, but their DNA is the same. They are programmed to be hunted. And we, my friend, are programmed to hunt them. So, hunt her, trap her, do whatever you need to do to capture her. Just go f*cking get her already.”
“Para namang walang sariling utak ’yang mga babaing sinasabi mo.”
Ngumisi ito. “Wala pa akong babaing na-encounter na hindi bumigay pag nag-asal caveman na ako. They all go feminist apeshit at first, but deep inside, they go crazy for that shit. It turns them on, lights up their fire without fail. Lawyer, model, doctor, duchess, geisha, they have the same DNA when it comes to the men they want to be with for real. They want to be dominated.”
In truth, what Alexis espoused was taking root in his mind. Napupuno na siya kay Kate. Lahat na lang ay ginagawa niya para mapaamo ito, pero walang nangyayari. Lalo pa itong umiilap sa kanya. But there was one place where she couldn’t resist him. Sex. Swak ’yon sa sinabi ni Alexis.
“Anong masasabi mo, Kit?” baling niya kay Kit.
Nagkibit-balikat ito. “Kung gusto mo talaga, alangan namang papayag kang mapunta sa iba? So…I agree with this asshole for now,” anitong natatawang tiningnan si Alexis.
“Iba ang gusto sa mahal, pare. Mahal ko ’yong tao,” sabi niya.
“Sabagay,” sang-ayon naman ni Kit.
Alexis snorted. “You pussies! If I love something, hindi ko papayagang mapunta sa iba. Magkamatayan na.”
Natawa si Kit. “Talaga lang, ha?”
“What the fuck is funny?” mukhang asar na si Alexis kay Kit.
“Wala, may naalala lang ako.”
Dumukwang si Alexis at tinapik siya sa balikat. “So, Luck, my friend, take my advice. Tarzan, go fucking get Jane.”
Natawa na lang siyang naiiling.
“Let’s drink to that!” sabi ni Kit na itinaas ang baso nito.
They did a bottoms-up.
Pero tama si Alexis. Enough of the fucking kid gloves. Kate was his. She would be his now or later, there was no difference.
But better now than later.
12
THIS CHAPTER IS DROPPING ANYTIME ON OCT. 20, SUNDAY, USA TIME.
READ ABOVE AGAIN.
“ANG GALING nitong design mo, Aris! I’m so impressed! Kuhang-kuha mo ang sophistication na gusto kong mai-project ng shop ko.”
Katatapos lang ng design presentation ni Aris, and she was very satisfied with the scheme. She was going thrice the size of her first boutique for this second branch. Magdaragdag na kasi siya ng brands na ibebenta niya.
“Thanks, Kate. I’m glad you like it,” flattered namang sabi ni Aris. Nasa conference room sila ng opisina nito. “What do you think, Luck?” baling nito kay Lucky na nakikinig lang sa kanila habang umiinom ng kape.
“Kung nagustuhan na ni Kate ay okay na sa akin,” malamig na sagot nito.
Sinulyapan niya si Lucky. Despite conceding about hiring Aris for this project, alam niyang hindi bukal sa loob nito ang desisyon niyang ’yon. Hindi na lamang niya ito pinansin.
“Napagdesisyunan na ba ninyo kung saan natin itatayo ito?” tanong ni Aris.
“We’re still considering three locations. Either sa Glorietta, Bonifacio High Street o sa Town. Hayaan mo, I’ll let you know in the next few days.”
Malapad ang ngiti nito. “Okay.”
Hindi niya napigil na sitahin si Lucky nang makaalis na sila sa opisina ni Aris lulan ng Lexus SUV nito na ito mismo ang nagmamaneho. Nakabuntot sa likuran nila ang bodyguard nito. “Sana’y nagpakita ka man lang ng enthusiasm kay Aris kanina. He did a very good job.”
“Your enthusiasm was enough for the both of us,” matabang na sagot nito.
She bristled. “What is wrong with you? This is business, Luck. Walang personalan dito. Do you have anything against Aris?”
“Sophie was equally good,” kibit-balikat na sabi nito.
Lalo siyang nainis dito. “I’m not familiar with her work. Mas komportable ako kay Aris. Besides, we’re friends.”
“Really? Since when?” Sarkastiko ang tono nito.
Nagpanting na ang mga tainga niya. “Teka nga muna. Kung may ayaw ka sa mga ginagawa ko, sabihin mo lang habang maaga pa! Pwede ko pang ibalik ang pera mo nang buong-buo!”
Tinapakan nito ang preno at itinabi ang sasakyan sa gilid ng daan at saka galit na binalingan siya. “Ang hindi ko gusto ay ang gamitin mo si Aris para asarin ako! You’ve been flirting with him every chance you’ve got. What are you trying to prove, Kate?”
“What?! How presumptuous of you! I do not flirt with anyone! And if I do,ikaw rin naman, ah! And frankly, I don’t give a damn whoever you’re with!” she shot back heatedly. She was half-lying though. The thought of Lucky with another woman bothered her now. Really bothered her if she’d be more honest with herself. But he didn’t have to know that. Lalo lang itong magmamalaki sa kanya.
Tinitigan siya nito nang matiim. Maya-maya’y lumambot ang mukha nito. At nangingiti na. “Were you deliberately trying to make me jealous? Because you’re jealous, too? Nagseselos ka ba kay Sophie?’
Nag-init ang mukha niya. “What?! Hindi ’yon ang ibig kong sabihin. What I meant was, I don’t care whoever you’re with, so leave my personal affairs alone!” She said it to save her pride.
Sumeryoso ito. “I’ve never been with anyone else since the night we first made love, angel.”
Umiwas siya nang tingin. His admission brought tremendous relief inside her. But it also roused her fear. Kapag nagiging ganito na ang takbo ng kanilang usapan, gusto niyang umiwas at tumakbo palayo. Her feelings were contradicting each other. Nalilito siya kung ano na ang relasyon nila ngayon, pero kapag gusto namang klaruhin nito at lagyan ng pangalan, natatakot din siya. Nagkaroon na yata siya ng commitment phobia.
Pero iyon ang totoong nararamdaman niya at hindi niya kayang magkunwari. She felt tired all of a sudden. All these mental and emotional struggles could easily drain her lately.
He reached out to touch her face gently. “Kate…”
She leaned back in her seat, evading his touch. Konting dampi lang ng balat nito sa kanya, pakiramdam niya’y nakukuryente siya. Ang sensitive ng balat niya. “Pakihatid na ako sa boutique.”
“Babe…”
“Please,” pakiusap niya. It wasn’t only a mental and emotional struggle with this man, but physical as well, na lalong ikinaka-frustrate niya. Pakiramdam niya’y tumatawid siya sa isang imaginary line na siyang naghihiwalay sa pagiging magkaibigan nila at sa isang unawaang mas higit pa. Pero hindi niya alam paano ilulugar ang sarili sa buhay nito kabilang panig, at kung paano niya ito ilulugar sa buhay niya ngayon. Iba na kasi siya. Ibang-iba na.
“We have to talk about this, Kate. Hindi na pwede ang ganito. Hindi na pwedeng lagi kang umiiwas. Hindi na tayo makapag-usap nang matino na hindi nagkakainitan. We used to talk to each other so effortlessly.”
“What is there to talk about ba kasi?” She just wanted him to back off. Give her space! He was so pushy, backing her into a corner every time!
“Us, Kate! We need to talk about us!”
“There is no us!”
Nagsiklab ang mga mata nito. “Do you actually believe that? Look me straight in the eye and tell me it meant nothing to you.”
Nagbaba siya nang tingin.
“Look at me, Katrina.”
Kahit kailan ay hindi nito binanggit ang pangalan niya nang buo kapag nag-uusap sila. Kung meron man, pabiro. Alam niyang seryosong-seryoso ito ngayon. She met his gaze reluctantly.
“I know it’s hard. Mahirap din para sa akin, kung alam mo lang. But we have to face the reality of us now, Kate. I’m no longer just your friend. I’m also you lover now. Whether you like it or not, we have crossed the line and there’s no going back. You have to face that.”
Hindi siya umimik.
“We can no longer be just friends. I don’t wanna be just your friend anymore. I’m done being just your friend.”
Nagsikip ang dibdib niya. Alam niyang iyon na nga ang nangyayari, pero masakit pa rin palang marinig mula sa bibig nito. Kaytagal nilang naging mag-bestfriend, tapos heto na sila ngayon, ang labo-labo na.
“I’m sorry for the both of us then,” mahinang sabi niya, nag-iinit ang mga mata. Gusto niyang maiyak, pero pinigil niya.
He leaned over and cupped her jaw. “I’m not sorry. I know we’re just transitioning. We just need to talk about it. We have to decide what we should do next.” Inilapit nito ang mukha sa kanya hanggang gapulgada na lamang ang layo ng mga labi nila. Bumilis lalo ang pintig ng puso niya, nahigit ang hininga.
“Can you feel that, angel? This burning heat inside us? This need that’s clawing at us from the inside out that doesn’t go away? That’s what our friendship has evolved into. That’s something you and Nico didn’t have.”
“What I had with him is none of your business anymore.”
“It is. Everything about you is my business now. You’re mine. And there’s no use denying you don’t want me, too. I can easily prove it.”
She gripped the front of his shirt hard. She hated the arrogance in his face as he reminded her of his power over her. But she couldn’t deny it. Her body was reacting to his touch; her privates were melting, swelling, wanting him. She felt both helpless and incensed with herself for being so weak against this uncontrollable craving she had for him. Para itong guilty pleasure na hinahanap-hanap ng katawan niya. Hindi mapaglabanan.
“Tomorrow, we will talk. And I don’t want any more denials, Kate. No more games. Magpakatotoo tayo sa isa’t isa. Magpakatotoo ka sa sarili mo.”
“I’m not playing with you.”
“Neither am I. Susunduin kita sa inyo bukas nang umaga. 9 AM sharp.”
Saka lamang siya nito binitiwan. Muli nitong pinaandar ang sasakyan. Wala na silang imikan hanggang sa maihatid siya nito sa Powerplant.
Bago siya makababa ng sasakyan ay hinila siya nito at mariing hinalikan sa mga labi, Pagkatapos ay ngumiti ito. “Think about me all day.”
She couldn’t stand the smug look in his eyes. She got out of the car and slammed the door shut, marching into the mall without a backward glance.
NANG GABING IYON ay hindi makatulog si Kate. Laman ng kanyang isip si Lucky, ang naging pag-uusap nila kanina.
Sinabi nitong nagseselos siya. Hindi niya matanggap iyon sa kanyang pride, pero hindi niya maikakaila ang silakbo ng damdamin sa tuwing maiisip niya itong may kasamang ibang babae. She said she didn’t care. But she did. Naiinis siya kay Klaudia, kay Sophie, kay Karen na close friend pa man din niya. Nayayamot na siya sa sinumang babaing nagkakagusto kay Lucky.
Nabayo niya ng kamay ang unan. Iyon ang nakakapanliit na katotohanan. Nagseselos na nga siya.
Oh God, ano ba itong nangyayari sa akin? Anong klaseng babae ako? Just last month I was so sure that I would spend the rest of my life with Nico. I was so sure that I loved him and no one else. Pero heto ako ngayon, nakikipag-sex sa lalaking ni hindi ko boyfriend. What does that make me?
Isa siyang taksil, hindi lamang sa pag-ibig niya kay Nico noon, kundi maging sa sarili niyang mga prinsipyo. Never mind that Nico was a cheater, pero ano ba ang ipinagkaiba nila sa isa’t isa ngayon? In the end, pareho lang naman pala sila ni Nico. Marupok sa tentasyon at mababaw ang paninindigan.
And now Lucky wanted to define what they had, forcing her to acknowledge what was happening between them. In so doing, he was also forcing her to define herself now.
Magpakatotoo ka sa sarili mo.
What had she become?
KINAUMAGAHAN, sinundo siya ni Lucky sa kanilang bahay. Nagpaalam ito sa Mommy at Daddy niya na maglilibot sila at titingin ng potential sites para sa kanyang bagong boutique. Magiliw namang pumayag ang mga ito.
Maya-maya pa’y lulan na sila ng Maybach nito.
Hindi mapalagay sa kinauupuan. She was fidgeting.
“Relax, babe. Everything will be alright.”
He looked so cool and fresh beside her, very much in control. Kabaliktaran niya. She lacked sleep and she felt edgy.
“Saan ba tayo pupunta?”
“Mag-uusap tayo. ’Di ba sabi ko kahapon, we’ll talk and settle everything once and for all?”
Humalukipkip siya. “What’s there to settle?”
“Everything.”
“It was only sex, Lucky. Nothing more.”
Medyo natawa ito. “Linya ko dapat ’yan.”
“At hindi pwedeng maging linya ko rin?”
He scoffed. “You wouldn’t be able to pull it off even if you tried.”
Her temper rose. Ambilis nitong mapag-init ang ulo niya ngayon. “You underestimate me.”
“I’m not underestimating you. I just know you.”
“No, you don’t. Akala mo lang ’yon.”
“Save it. Malapit na tayo.”
Napagtanto niyang sa Hotel de Angelo ang tungo nila. Hindi na siya nagsalita pa hanggang marating nila ang hotel nito.
Ilang minuto pa at lulan na sila ng elevator papunta sa penthouse nito.
IGINALA ni Kate ang mga mata sa malawak na penthouse. Alam niya ang bawat sulok niyon dahil siya mismo ang namahala sa pagpapa-interior design niyon. Ideya niya ang lahat. At gustong-gusto ni Lucky ang kanyang ginawa.
Sanay siyang gumala sa buong lugar na parang siya mismo ang may-ari niyon. Pero noon ’yon. Ngayon ay naiilang na siya. Pero aaminin niyang na-miss niyang maglagi rito, lalo na sa balcony. It was so peaceful and quiet.
“May I get you a drink?” tanong nito.
“No, thanks. Can we talk now?”
Lumakad ito papunta sa isang sectional sofa at naupo. He gestured for her to sit, as well. Naupo siya sa isang armchair paharap dito.
Dumekwatro ito. His demeanor today was that of a powerful businessman and not her friend.
“Well?” aniya sa nanghahamong tingin.
“I want you to be my wife.”
Hindi niya inaasahan na mag-aalok itong muli ng kasal sa kanya. But his tone this time was different. It was authoritative and few people would probably disobey him in this disposition.
“No,” simple niyang sagot. Halos madaling-araw na siyang nakatulog kagabi sa pag-iisip. Oo, nagpapakatotoo lang siya. Ayaw niya ng asawa. Not now. Not in the near future.
Nagkibit-balikat ito, parang balewalang ni-reject na naman niya ito. “Suit yourself. I’m offering you my name. You don’t want it? Fine. But I will have you, Kate, marriage or no marriage.”
Hindi siya umimik. Nakipagtitigan siya dito, kinapa ang totoong damdamin. This was another crossroad in her life. But she had to decide as her new self.
And her new self wanted space. A lot of space. Gusto niya ng me-time. Gusto niyang i-explore ang sarili niya nang walang magbabawal o ano. She wanted freedom. Hindi pala niya naranasan ang ganoon. She was promised to Nico when she was only 18. Pinagtapos lang siya ng college at pinaghanda na para maging asawa ni Nico, dahil malaking responsibilidad ’yon. Wala pala siyang naging panahon para sa sarili lang niya. Now, she wanted that.
Magpakatotoo ka…
“Okay, Luck.”
13
“OKAY WHAT, KATE?”
Diretso niyang sinalubong ang tingin nito. “Let’s have consensual sex whenever we both feel like it.”
Nanlaki ang mga mata nito, hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi niya. Kahit siya ay hindi mapaniwalaang lumabas iyon sa bibig niya. It was great in theory, but for real? Kaya ba niyang panindigan ’yon? Karen considered her a prude, tapos heto siya ngayon, propositioning a very worldly man.
But this was a moment of truth for her and she didn’t want to lie to herself anymore. She wanted him. Masakit man sa pride pero hindi na niya maitatanggi ’yon. But she was not ready for anything more. So, pagbibigyan niya ang sarili. Ibibigay niya ang kung ano lang ang kaya niyang ibigay dito sa ngayon. A mutual exchange of sexual gratification. Noon ay masyado siyang nagpreno sa pag-explore sa pisikal na aspeto ng kanyang pagkababae. Super late-bloomer na nga siya kung tutuusin. But with Lucky, it happened so fast. And she wanted more. Ayaw na niyang kalabanin ang sarili sa bagay na ito.
“You’re unbelievable, Katrina. Are you actually serious, right now?” napapailing na tanong nito. “You’d prefer to be my fuck buddy than be my wife?”
Nagkibit-balikat siya. “Sabi mo magpakatotoo ako. Ayan na, ginagawa ko na. I can’t deny that we…that we have sexual chemistry. But right now, I can’t give more than that. That’s my position in the matter. FWB. Take it or leave it.”
He looked incredulous. “Who are you?”
Itinaas niya ang noo at ngumiti. “Kate DeLeste Version 2. Come to think of it, you can teach me a lot in playing the field, Luck. It would be fun.”
Nakatiim-bagang itong sumandal sa sofa. “Fun.” Muli itong napailing.
“You asked me what I wanted. There you go. I’m just being honest.”
Ilang saglit itong nakatitig lang sa kanya. Pagkuwa’y tumango. “FWB. Friends with benefits, huh?”
“Oh, I have conditions.”
“I knew it.”
“Ang turo mo nga sa akin sa negosyo, always put everything in writing. So, here are my terms, para klaro ang lahat.”
“Okay…”
“We will have sex kapag pareho nating gusto. But I decide when to call it quits. This will be a no-strings arrangement. Pag ayoko na, you will let me go without a fuss, and vise versa.”
Tumawa ito nang hilaw. “You haggle like a professional hustler. If I hadn’t popped your cherry, I’d mistake you for a geisha in Lothario.”
“What?”
He just smiled mockingly. “Go on.”
Narinig na niya ang club na iyon na pag-aari umano ni Alexis Benedicto. Ang sabi-sabi sa grapevine ay parang members only iyon at tambayan ng mga players at bored husbands. Hindi naman siya mahilig sa gossip kaya hindi niya masyadong pinapansin iyon.
“You have more conditions? Let’s hear them,” he demanded, impatience in his tone.
“Walang pilitan. Walang pressure. I will admit…you’re quite…great in bed,” sabi niya. Gosh, inamin talaga niya sa harapan nito iyon? Pero ramdam niya ang excitement habang nine-negotiate nila ang kanilang bagong arrangement. Pakiramdam niya’y siya ang may hawak ng manibela. Siya ang may kontrol. Masarap pala iyon sa pakiramdam.
“Thank you for the compliment, sweety, but you’ve seen nothing yet. Let me make this clear before you start presuming things. You’re not holding the strings here. I am. This arrangement does not depend on whether I agree to your conditions or not. I can have you kahit ayaw mo. I can make you say yes, even if you scream no.”
Bumangon ang inis niya sa aroganteng tono nito. “But I will fight you. Don’t you want me without any fuss?”
“I already had you twice. You were so easy.” Ngumisi ito, naglandas ang mga mata sa katawan niya.
“Ang yabang mo.”
“Just stating facts. Or shall we put it to the test?” hamon nito.
Gigil na hinawakan niya ang isang glass sculpture sa side table na malapit sa kanya. Gusto niyang batuhin ang kayabangan sa pagmumukha nito. Hindi niya naranasan ang ganitong ugali nito noon. He was always a gentleman, in words and in actions. Now he was turning into a total asshole.
“Di ba ikaw ang bumili niyan? You really love that sculpture,” panunuya nito.
Nilingon niya ang hawak. It was an Orlina.
“Oh, for pete’s sake, ano pa ang mga kondisyon mo?” he said exasperatedly.
“Walang ibang makakaalam nito. This is strictly between us. If my parents discover this, they will force us to marry.”
“Would that be so bad?” he asked her softly.
His arrogance gave way to a certain emotion in his eyes. He looked almost…hopeful. Pero naalala niya ang paboritong linya nito. Relationships, I’m not good at…
Paano naman siya nakakasigurong magiging matino itong boyfriend o asawa kung sakali? Words were cheap. Kaydaling sabihin na mahal mo ang isang tao. Men could easily change their minds. She knew that from firsthand experience. Natuto na siya. Hard lessons learned.
With Lucky, she would be cautious. Very cautious. Hindi siya magpapadalos-dalos ng desisyon.
“Gusto kong maintindihan mo, Luck…that after Nico, ayoko ng magkamali pa ng desisyon sa buhay. Gusto ko na kung magpapakasal man akong muli, iyon ay dahil gusto ko at hindi out of familial obligation, fear of judgment o ano pa mang kadahilanan. If and I will decide to consider marriage again, I will do it for all the right reasons. I will only marry for love. Nothing else.”
His stare was so intense, and she waited for him to say something. It was the most honest she could ever get with him. Nagbaba ito ng tingin at simpleng tumango.
He was so still, just sitting there like a statue. Pero nang muli itong mag-angat ng mga mata, naroon na ulit ang arrogance.
“It’s a deal, Kate.”
Itinuwid niya ang mga balikat. “Okay, can I go to work now?”
“No.”
HOW WAS IT POSSIBLE THAT she’d just ripped him to pieces again and he was hard as a lead pipe from wanting her? Ang sikip-sikip na ng harapan ng pantalon niya, nanunuyo ang lalamunan sa pagpipigil. She was so fucking beautiful sitting there, reciting her stupid conditions as if she could stop the inevitable between them.
Her continued rejection of him was like an aphrodisiac spiking up his desire for her. Sanay siyang nakukuha ang halos lahat ng magustuhan niya. Konti lang ang hindi niya nakukuha, at hindi niya nakuha ang mga iyon dahil kulang din naman ang pagkagusto niyang kunin. Kate was the one thing he wanted the most in this world and he would do everything to get her.
If this was how she wanted to play it, then so be it. Hindi siya magmamakaawang mahalin nito. Kahit mahal na mahal niya ito, umiral na rin ang pride niya sa pangatlong pag-turn down nito sa proposal niyang pakasalan ito. Kung hindi niya makuha ang puso nito sa ngayon, sisiguruhin niyang kanya ang katawan nito. He would fuck her over and over until she realized that loving someone was irrevocably tied up to fucking that someone like she could never get enough.
Lust. Love. He felt both for her, almost in equal measure. He would fan the fire of her sensuality until she could no longer distinguish lust from love.
Who the hell did she think she was treating him like this? Like a fucking lap dog she could lead by the nose at whim? He was the one who loved her unconditionally!
Tumayo siya, humakbang palapit dito. “Today, I will have you until I’m satisfied.”
Nakita niyang napalulon ito, namula. “N-now?”
“Yes. Now.” He smiled like a predator stalking his prey.
Lumuhod siya sa paanan nito. She was sitting with her thighs clamped closed, na para bang mapipigilan siya nito sa nais niyang gawin.
“What’s the matter, babe? Now that you have agreed for us to be fuck buddies, ngayon ka pa ba magpapakipot? Open your legs.”
Napasinghap ito, pinandilatan siya ng mga mata. “Don’t be vulgar.”
Bilang sagot, he unzipped his pants and pulled out his c*ck. He was thick and hard with the acid of her rejection roiling in his gut and the desire to sexually bend her to his will.
He gripped the base of his erection. “Is this vulgar enough?”
Lalong nanlaki sa shock ang mga mata nito. “Lucky, stop!” She tried to get away from him, but he trapped her legs with his own legs.
Bumilis ang paghinga nito, itinukod ang mga kamay sa sofa upang ilayo ang sarili sa kanya, pero hindi ito makakawala hangga’t hindi siya natatapos dito.
He began humping her lower legs, rubbing his hard-on against the smoothness of her skin. Ang bilis ng pintig ng puso niya. Sa bawat pintig ay rumaragasa ang dugo niya, at lalo siyang nag-iinit.
Minsan gusto na niyang magalit sa sarili. Bakit ganito kasidhi ang pagnanasa niya sa babaing ito? Halos wala naman itong alam sa sex. Her amateurish moves had nothing on the women he’d been with who knew all the tricks to get him off. Pero madikit lang siya rito, hindi na niya makontrol ang sarili na parang asong ulol. Para siyang masiriraan ng bait kapag hindi niya ito naangkin. Ilang gabi na ba siyang puro blue balls? Nakakasira ng ulo, tangina!
“Luck…”
“Yes, babe?” He held her legs and rubbed his length harder, slipping it in between her knees, sawing past them. He was leaving hot streaks of prec*m on her inner thighs.
Itinaas niya ang laylayan ng skirt nito para makita nila pareho ang kanilang ginagawa. He almost squirted his load right then. The visual was so f*cking hot. The tip of his erection was just a few inches from her pussy covered in white silk.
“See how hard and big you make me, babe? Look.” The veins in his hard c*ck were in stark contrast to the smoothness of her thighs.
She closed her eyes in defiance. Napangisi siya sa katigasan ng ulo nito. Ayaw talagang magpatalo kahit talo naman. He humped her legs and talked dirty to her, scandalizing her further.
Maya-maya’y muling bumukas ang mga mata nito at tumingin sa pagitan nila. She couldn’t help it, the little voyeur. Umuwang ang mga labi nito, napaungol na parang pusa.
“Are you wet now, baby doll?”
She made a whining sound, na parang nagagalit ito sa sarili na hindi mapaglabanan ang tawag ng laman nito. Mabuti na lang at pagdating sa sex, siya lang ang experience ni Kate. He loved it that no matter how much she wanted to control herself, she couldn’t help wanting him. Patas lang sila pagdating sa bagay na iyon. At least, she loved his dick. Some consolation. But that was good enough for now.
“Luck…”
He pulled his shirt off of his body. “Open your legs,” he told her again.
She clamped her legs tighter around his shaft, making it even harder if it was still possible. It badly wanted to slide into her tightness.
“Pakipot ka pa, huh? Alam ko namang gustong-gusto mo ’yan.”
“Stop that,” she panted.
“What should I stop? You want me to stop humping your leg like a horny dog? You want me to hump your pssy instead? You can’t wait to get stretched by that fcker again, can you?”
Umigkas ang kamay nito at lumagapak sa mukha niya. “I’m not your whore!”
Violence erupted inside him. “You little bitch…!” Wala pang nakakasampal sa kanya na kahit na sino.
He pulled away and turned her around on the sofa, slamming her facedown on it. He roughly pulled her panties down her legs. Nagpumiglas ito. “No…!”
He was breathing hard, the haze of rage almost blinding him. The sight of her rounded ass made his boner throb like mad. Her skin was so fine and milky. He squeezed one rounded cheek while his other hand was flat on her upper back, pinning her on the sofa. She bucked her ass trying to resist him, but she was helpless in this position.
“Let me go!” she shrieked. “Luck, ano ba!”
On another occasion he would have stopped immediately and obeyed her. But after rejecting him thrice, she needed to be put in her fucking place. Hindi siya pwedeng ganun-ganunin lang nito. Kaya niyang pumatay at mamatay para rito, but she must respect him as the man in their relationship, kahit ano pa man ’yon.
“I said let me go, you bastard!”
“Do you really wanna fight this?”
His hand snaked lower and cupped her p*ssy. He groaned when he encountered her profuse wetness. The little witch was flowing like a river he could jet ski in her cream to heaven and back.
Lalo itong nagpumiglas. “Stop! I’m taking it back! Ayoko na! The deal is off! You’re an animal! I hate you!”
Lalo lang siyang tinigasan sa panlalaban nito. Para itong tigre na nagmumura. Hindi ito palamura. Palagi itong pino at mahinhin kumilos, pero ngayon…shit…so hot! She was insanely sexy in her rage, but she needed to understand who was fucking boss here.
“You don’t want me to stop. You want me to go right ahead, isn’t that right, baby?”
He played her, rubbing her wet folds from behind, pushing a finger inside her. He groaned as he felt her tightness around his digit. Sobrang sikip pa rin nito. His c*ck lurched in anticipation.
He rotated his fingers and inserted another one. She was clamping around his digits like a vise. Her angry cries melted into gasping moans, rolling her hips like she couldn’t help it.
His balls tightened painfully. He pulled his fingers out of her drenched hole and gripped the base of his shaft.
He reamed her wet entrance and aligned their bodies.
“Hate this,” he rasped and plunged inside her. Her wetness took him all the way into her snug depths.
Malakas siyang napaungol. Ilang araw niyang pinantasya iyon, ang maramdaman ulit iyon. Sinunod niya ang dikta ng kanyang pagnanasa. Gripping her hips in place, he began riding her, slamming in and out of her.
He watched his thickness appear and disappear inside her. Christ! Best view in the f*cking world! What was it with this pussy? He’d had so many and yet nothing else felt as good as Kate’s.
He bent over her and wrapped his hand around her neck, lifting her off the sofa, forcing her to arch her back.
He took her hard from behind, slamming like a jackhammer against her.
His hands went under her top, pushing her bra up and cupping her breasts, squeezing, pulling at her nipples, rolling them between his fingers as he rocked her with his thrusts.
She was crying out incoherently and he knew she was close.
He pulled out of her and flipped her on her back again. He wanted to see her face when she came. Spreading her legs wide and throwing them over his biceps, he rammed into her again, watching himself take her, her pink folds gloving him so sweetly.
He almost felt guilty for savaging her pretty little pussy like this. Almost. Pero hindi. Alam niyang sarap na sarap ito sa ginagawa niya rito.
He swiped his thumb over her clit.
She jerked, “Oh god…!”
He rubbed her harder as he drilled her harder. Her eyes rolled up and shut closed.
And then she was shuddering under him, coming hard around his surging shaft.
“Fuck, yeah, baby…!” he groaned harshly.
Three more thrusts and he let go, his universe exploding, shooting his seed inside her.
He slumped like a dead weight above her, burrowing his head in her neck, breathing hard, lost in the incredible bliss of his release.
As he was swimming in the aftermath, he vaguely realized that he’d come bareback inside her again. Did she realize he could knock her up?
He smiled. He hoped she wouldn’t realize it until it was too late.
BUONG ARAW SILA SA PENTHOUSE. Hindi na nakapasok sa trabaho si Kate.
After the first round, binuhat siya ni Lucky mula sa sofa at ipinasok sa kuwarto nito. There, he removed their clothes and took her again. Nanlalata pa siya sa unang orgasm niya pero agad nitong muling napagliyab ang kanyang katawan.
Halos wala itong kasawa-sawa. It took him long to finish the second time, taking her in all kinds of positions, making her come again.
Nakatulog sila nang mahimbing pagkatapos. Nagising sila na parehong gutom. He ordered room service and they took a shower together. Nawala na ang inhibitions niya nang sabay silang maligo.
Kumain sila ng late lunch. Halos hindi sila nag-iimikan. Gusto man niyang magalit sa pagiging sobra nitong dominante sa kama, hindi na niya nagawa. Mukha lang siyang katawa-tawa eh nag-come naman siya.
Pagkatapos nilang kumain ay isang round na naman. Hindi niya akalain na pwedeng mangyari ang ganoon. Nakatatlo sila sa isang araw! Lupaypay siyang nakatulog ulit sa pagod.
Gabi na nang ihatid siya ni Lucky pauwi sa kanilang bahay. Wala silang imikan sa sasakyan pero wala na rin ang dating tensiyon sa pagitan nila.
Hawak nito ang kanyang kamay, magkahinang ang kanilang mga daliri na marahang pinipisil-pisil nito. Maya’t maya ay dinadala nito ang kamay niya sa mga labi nito at hinahalik-halikan.
“You and me from now on, angel. Just you and me.”
The absolute possessiveness in his voice left her a bit alarmed. But she knew she could handle him this time around. She was a woman navigating her own destiny, on her own terms, at her own pace. Pero kailangan niyang mag-ingat. She was exploring her womanhood with a man that only last month was her best friend. Now, he was her secret lover.
Friends with benefits. Iyon ang tawag sa ugnayan nila ngayon. The old Kate would never in a million years even consider such a scandalous arrangement with anybody. The new Kate was quite enjoying it.
For the first time that month, nakatulog siya nang mahimbing nang gabing iyon.
“O, ANG AGA mo namang napadalaw dito,” bati ng Tita Selena niya pagkakita sa kanya.
Humalik siya sa pisngi nito.
“Come, nagpahanda ako ng breakfast nang tumawag ka kanina na pupunta ka.”
Pumunta sila sa poolside at umupo sa magkaharap sa wrought iron chairs. Nakahain sa mesa ang masarap na almusal. Actually, brunch na ’yon dahil mag-aalas-diyes na.
Iginala nito ang mga mata sa kalawakan ng estate nito sa Dasma. Mediterranean ang design ng bahay nito, mukhang resort sa sobrang ganda.
“Kate…” untag nito habang nagtitimpla ng kape.
Wala sa loob na ibinalik niya ang mga mata rito.
“May problema ka ba, hija?”
“Tita…” bantulot na sabi niya. Nag-aalala siyang baka ma-shock ito. Pero alam naman niyang liberal ang pag-iisip nito. Katunayan ay nakipag-live in muna ito nang matagal sa yumao nitong asawa bago tuluyang nagpakasal dito at iyon ay noong naisilang na nito ang panganay na anak. Muntik na nga itong itakwil ng mg kaanak nito noon. Kabaliktaran naman nito ang ugali ng kanyang Mommy na sobrang konserbatibo sa mga bagay-bagay na may kinalaman sa pakikipagrelasyon. Matanda ang Mommy niya rito nang ilang taon.
“Tita…I…I’m having sex.” mabilis niyang sabi bago pa umurong nang tuluyan ang dila niya sa hiya.
Naudlot ito sa pag-inom ng kape. Tiningnan siya nito nang ilang saglit saka napahalakhak nang malutong.
“It’s about time, darling! Aba, late bloomer ka na, Katrina. I lost my virginity when I was in college.”
Nag-blush siya. Napakamoderno talaga nito, kaya naman paborito niya ito, walang kiyeme sa katawan. Parang si Karen din.
“So, who’s the lucky guy? Let me guess…Is it…Lucky?”
Nandilat ang mga mata niya. “No!” bulalas niya.
Tumaas ang isang kilay nito.
“It’s not him, tita.” She felt bad for lying, pero ayaw niyang mag-assume ito na serious sila ni Lucky. Baka hindi nito mapigilan ang sarili at sabihin ito sa parents niya. Lagot!
“Eh sino?” medyo tumaas ang tono nito, mukhang galit. Pabor kasi ito kay Lucky para sa kanya.
“Tita, let’s not talk about the guy muna. Iba ang ipinunta ko rito. Gusto ko sanang magpasama sa ’yo sa isang OB. I want to get prescribed with birth control pills. Ayokong mabuntis nang wala sa plano.” Gosh, what were the odds na natsambahan siya ni Lucky? Parating na ang kanyang period any day now. She didn’t want to take chances anymore. Napaka-unpredictable pa naman ng lalaking ’yon. Basta na lang siyang aanuhin, at siya namang slutinella, hindi maka-resist.
“Teka, teka, teka…sigurado ka ba sa ginagawa mo, Katrina? Of course, nasa tamamg edad ka naman para gawin ang anumang gusto mo, but this soon after Nico? Ay, teka, liwanagin mo nga, bata ka! Alangan namang si Nico? Kung hindi si Lucky, sino ’yan? Matino bang lalaki ’yan? Bakit wala ka man lang nababanggit sa akin about him?” Umandar na ang pagka-protective nito.
“Nico has nothing to do with this, tita. Saka ko na lang sabihin sa iyo about him, please. Tulungan mo muna ako. May kakilala ba kayong OB na sobrang pinagkakatiwalaan niyo?”
“Oo naman. All right, sasamahan kita kay Doktora Alejandre. She keeps all my family secrets,” anito at humigop ng kape.
Nakahinga siya nang maluwag. Nagsimula na rin siyang kumain.
“Is it good?” tanong nito kapagdaka.
“Huh? What do you mean po?”
“Your sex life with this mystery guy. Is it good?”
“Uh…” Despite her embarrassment, she smiled shyly, blushing to the roots of her hair. “Great.”
“Ohlala,” anito at muling humahakhak.
DISRESPECTFUL COMMENTERS WILL BE MUTED. What is disrespectful? Insulting me, the author, comparing my works to your fave authors and trash-talking my works in relation to those authors’ works. By all means, CRITIQUE my work objectively, I’m down with that. Insulting the way I manage my page, DICTATING how i should do it piss me off. You can suggest. I might listen. May kanya-kanyang style ang mga authors at preference ang mga readers. Variety makes this industry more exciting. Walang pare-pareho, maliban kung plagiarist ka. I know an objective criticism from an outright trash talk. Hindi naman ako balat-sibuyas, pero I hate snide comments, or back-handed compliments, ’yung pailalim na insulto. Pinakaayoko ’yon. Mabuti pa prangkahin ako in an objective manner, malamang sasagot pa ako nang marespeto rin. Hindi ako nagmamalaki o nagpapaimportante. PAGE KO ITO. Kumbaga, bahay ko, so ako ang masunod kung ano ang diskarte ko rito. Kung papasok ka rito, rumespeto ka. Kung ayaw mo sa mga nakita mo rito, leave as quietly as you came in. FREEDOM of SPEECH? Siguro mas appropriate ’yon kung ibinibenta ko itong trabaho ko. CONSUMER RIGHT kumbaga. Pero dahil libre, rendahan mo ’yang kabastusan mo at magpakatao ka kung may opinion kang gustong ipahayag, dahil pare-pareho lang tayong may freedom of speech. Kapwa tawad na lang pag ibalik sa ’yo ang ibinato mong tae sabay MUTE sa iyo. Wala akong paki mawalan ng readers na bastos. Good riddance. I hope klaro. :)
Natutuwa ako sobra kapag excited kayong naghihintay ng UD. Binibilisan ko nga mag-revise eh para HALOS araw-araw akong may UD.
Kapag nahihirapan kayong mag-VIEW ng chapters, heto ang mga pwede ninyong gawin:
-
ARCHIVE the story then UNARCHIVE…then view chapters again
-
UNFOLLOW me then FOLLOW again…then view
-
DELETE story then ADD again…then view
Kung walang umubra alinman diyan, isa lang sa mga sumusunod ang dahilan
-
mahina masyado ang internet mo
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Hindi ka naka-follow sa akin
-
nagloloko si Watty at hindi kinakaya ang traffic dito sa page dahil maraming sabay-sabay na nagbabasa.
Sorry for being blunt. ganyan ako. Prangka. Pero mabait ako, pramis:)
Lastly, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR VOTES, VIEWS, PATIENCE, ENTHUSIASM, SENSE OF HUMOR, ENCOURAGEMENTS AND YOUR ROMANTIC HEARTS. YOU INSPIRE ME SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU, MY READERS! KAYA AKO NAGSUSULAT KAHIT MALABO NA MATA KO AY DAHIL SA INYO:))).XOXO
14
THIS CHAPTER IS DROPPING ANYTIME ON OCT. 24, USA TIME
KATE USUALLY had her yearly medical check up, but it was just routine. She was healthy according to her last medical report. But this was a different kind of check-up. Her aunt suggested that since she started being sexually active, magpa-thorough exam na rin siya kay Doktora Alejandre. Tama naman ito kaya pumayag siya.
Tinanong siya ng butihing doktora tungkol sa mga bagay na may kinalaman sa kalusugan niya, kung may allergies siya, may history ng kung anu-anong sakit, ano ang menstrual cycle niya, kung may mga nararamdaman ba siyang mga kakaiba sa kanyang katawan ngayon, at kung sexually active ba siya. Medyo nahihiya siyang umamin doon sa sex part pero alam niyang importanteng malaman nito iyon kung ito ang magiging OB doctor niya mula ngayon. Sinagot niya ang lahat ng gusto nitong malaman.
She then underwent a breast exam, urine test and pap smear.
Pagkatapos ay matiyaga silang naghintay ng kanyang Tita Selena sa lobby ng modernong clinic na iyon. May mga mangilan-ngilang mga babaeng naroon, naghihintay rin marahil ng mga appointments ng mga ito.
Makalipas lang nang halos twenty minutes ay muli na silang tinawag ng assistant ni Doktora Alejandre para papasuking muli sa opisina nito.
Umupo siya sa silyang kaharap ng mesa nito. Sa sofa sa bandang likuran niya naupo ang Tita Selena niya. Hawak ng doktora ang isang papel at pinag-aaralan iyon, saka malapad ang ngiting hinarap siya. “Kate.”
Nakangiti siyang naghintay. “I hope everything’s okay with my tests, Doc.”
“Oh, everything’s fine with the results I have here. However, your pap smear result will come out after a week or two. Itatawag ko na lang sa ’yo kung available na. You can pick up the result or we can fax it to your office. Whatever you refer.”
“Dadaanan ko na lang po rito pag nandiyan na.”
“Good. Well, like I said, your other tests are all fine. You’re quite healthy.”
“Great! I’m relieved, Doc!”
“However, you wanted to get prescribed with birth control pills, but it’s no longer necessary.”
Napalis ang ngiti niya. “B-bakit po?”
Muluwang ang ngiti nito. “Congratulations! You’re about three weeks pregnant!”
Natulala siya. Biglang nanghina ang buong katawan niya. Pakiramdam niya ay hihimatayin siya. Napalingon siya sa tita niya. Napatayo ito mula sa sofa at nilapitan siya, hinawakan sa balikat. “Are you sure, Bless?” tanong nito sa doktora.
“Yes, her urine test said it’s positive. But I can provide you with a pregnancy kit so you can take another test at home.”
Nagkatinginan silang magtiya. Oh my God, this is not happening! sigaw ng utak niya.
“May problema ba, Selena?” concerned na tanong ng doktora. “Kate is very healthy and very much capable of carrying a baby to full term. Of course, if you will let me, I will take care of her until she gives birth!” excited na sabi nito.
“Bless, atin-atin na lang muna ito ha…Siyempre, ikaw na ang OB ni Kate magmula ngayon.”
“Of course, Selena. You can count on me. Don’t worry, Kate, everything will be fine.”
Tumango-tango siya pero hindi siya makapagsalita. Hindi siya halos makahinga.
Three weeks?! Ibig sabihin ay nagbunga agad iyong first time nilang mag-sex ni Lucky sa Punta del Sol? Ang bilis naman!
“Doc, katatapos lang ng period ko when I had…when I had sex. How was that possible na nabuntis agad ako?”
“The most plausible explanation is because medyo mas mahaba ang period mo kaysa karaniwan. So you can be fertile even right after your period. And sperm can live inside a woman’s uterus for up to 5 days.”
Namula siya. Oh my God! This isn’t real! Wake me up from this nightmare, please, God! Ano’ng gagawin niya? Nanginginig siya. Gusto niyang bumunghalit ng iyak.
“Anyway, I can start prescribing you for your pre-natal–”
“Bless,” putol ng tita niya sa doktora. “Babalik na lang kami sa susunod na mga araw para diyan.”
Mukhang nakaunawa naman ito. “Sure, Selena. You have my number. I can squeeze you in anytime. Just call me.”
“Thank you so much.” Lumigid ang kanyang tiya at bineso ang kaibigan. Saka siya inakay nito palabas ng clinic.
She felt dazed as they boarded her aunt’s chauffeured sedan.
Doon na siya napaiyak at yumakap dito. She had never been more confused and afraid.
Tinapik -tapik nito ang likod niya. “Shhh. Mamaya na tayo sa bahay mag-usap.”
THE MOMENT THEY WERE IN PRIVATE, Kate burst into tears again. “Tita, this can’t be happening to me! My wedding was cancelled, and now this!”
“Shhh, kumalma ka, anak. Baka mapaano ang baby mo.”
Mabilis siyang naglakad-lakad sa kalawakan ng silid nito. “Ang tanga-tanga ko talaga! Minsan lang akong nawala sa sarili, heto kaagad ang resulta! Bakit sa akin lahat napupunta ang problema?!”
“Hindi problema ang baby, hija. Blessing ’yan.”
Hinawakan niya ang flat pa ring tiyan. Hindi siya makapaniwalang buntis siya. Wala namang nagbago sa katawan niya. Well, maliban sa konting tenderness sa breasts niya lately, o iyong pagiging sensitive ng pang-amoy niya.
Nanlalata siyang napaupo sa kama ng tiyahin at malalim na bumuntong-hininga.
“So, sasabihin mo na ba sa akin kung sino ang ama niyan?”
This time, alam niyang hindi na ito madadala sa paglalambing. Alam niyang hindi siya titigilan nito hanggang hindi nakukuha ang sagot. In truth, hindi na rin niya kayang magkaila pa rito. Pwede naman niyang ilihim kung sino ang lover niya, pero ang ama ng magiging anak niya, hindi na.
“S Lucky po,” mahina niyang pag-amin.
Her aunt slapped her thigh. “I knew it!”
“But please po, don’t tell Mom and Dad.”
“Pero anak, this is very important! They need to know!”
“No! Pag ginawa ninyo ’yan, pipilitin nila akong magpakasal kay Lucky!”
“Pag nalaman naman ito ni Lucky, he will gladly marry you, I’m sure of it!”
“Iyon na nga ho! I don’t want to get married!”
“But why?! You’re pregnant with his baby!”
Napailing-iling siya. “After being jilted at the altar, you expect me to just go right ahead and marry the next guy? This baby was conceived the night of my wedding! I wasn’t thinking straight! And Lucky was there. Nakalimot kami pareho. Hindi niya kasalanan. Mas kasalanan ko. Pero hindi ako magpapakasal dahil lang I accidentally got pregnant, Tita! You of all people should understand that.”
Her aunt sighed. “I understand, hija. I do. Pero iba ako, iba ka. I was a wild child! Halos itakwil ako ng mga magulang ko dahil sa pagka-liberated ko. Iba ang pagpapalaki sa iyo ng mga magulang mo, Kate.”
“But this is my body! My life! Ako ang magde-decide!”
“So, ano ang gagawin mo? Magbuntis nang walang asawa? Maging single mother, ganun? Papatayin mo lang naman sa sama ng loob ang parents mo. It would devastate them, and you know it. Not to mention the scandal it would generate once this goes out. Baka mas matindi pa sa hindi natuloy mong kasal.”
Napapailing siyang natatawa. “Yeah, I can see the irony there. People will think Nico left me because I got pregnant with another man’s baby. Ako pa ang lalabas na cheater.”
Lalo siyang napaiyak. Hustisya!
“Do you wanna get rid of it?” malumanay na tanong sa kanya ng tiyahin.
“No!” marahas na sagot niya. “Of course, I’m keeping it! How can you even think that, Tita?!” Parang prinoprotektahang pinagkurus niya ang mga kamay sa kanyang sinapupunan. The mere thought of aborting her baby was revolting. It never crossed her mind.
“Just presenting you with another option, my dear. I was once in your situation. I chose to keep the baby.”
“I will keep this baby,” mariing sabi niya.
Umupo ito sa tabi niya sa kama, pinahid ang kanyang mga luha. “Alam ko naman ’yan, hija.”
“I’m so confused, Tita. I’m so tired…”
Niyakap siya nito. “I know, I know, anak. Huwag mo muna masyadong isipin. Let your mind relax. Come on, take a nap muna. Pagkagising mo, ihahatid kita sa inyo. Bukas, babalik tayo kay Bless. You need to get a thorough pre-natal check-up. Huwag kang mag-alala, tutulungan kita. I will be with you all the way in this, hija, remember that.”
“Thank you, Tita. You’re the best talaga. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kung wala ka.”
Selena let her lie on the bed. Binantayan siya nito hanggang makatulog siya sa sobrang stress.
BISITA NI KATE SI LUCKY KINAUMAGAHAN SA MANSIYON NILA. Nadatnan niya itong nag-aalmusal at nakikipagkuwentuhan sa mga magulang niya at ni DL.
Kinabahan kaagad siya pagkakita rito. Pero sigurado naman siyang wala itong alam sa kalagayan niya. Hindi gagawa ng anumang hakbang ang Tita Selena niya nang hindi ipinapaalam sa kanya, kaya kinalma niya ang sarili
Matamis ang ngiti ni Lucky sa kanya. “Hello, angel.”
Alanganin siyang ngumiti rito.
“Hija, good morning. Halika na, join us!” masiglang bati ng Mommy niya sa kanya.
Matamlay siyang dumulog sa mesa. “Morning, everyone,” matabang na sabi niya. Hindi niya tinitingnan si Lucky. Ayaw niya muna sanang makita ito, lalo’t hindi pa niya masyadong alam ang gagawin sa kanyang kalagayan. His presence greatly disturbed her. He used to make her feel secure. Now, she felt threatened by his mere presence.
“Tinanghali ka yata ng gising ngayon, anak. Kanina ka pa hinihintay ni Lucky,” sabi ng kanyang Daddy habang sumisimsim ng kape.
“You look like hell sis,” puna ni DL.
She glared at her brother. Tumawa lang ito. Matanda ito sa kanya ng apat na taon pero parang mas matanda pa siyang mag-isip kaysa dito. Wala itong masyadong siniseryo sa buhay maliban sa racing career nito. Nangungunsumi na ang kanilang mga magulang dito. Panahon na kasi para pagtuunan naman nito ng atensiyon ang mga responsibilidad nito sa kanilang mga negosyo. Malapit ng magretiro ang kanilang ama sa pamumuno sa kanilang kompanya. But her brother preferred a Formula 21 trophy than a CEO title.
Alam niyang nakatingin sa kanya si Lucky. Sinulyapan niya ito. Nakangiti ito sa kanya na parang engot. Ano kayang nakikita nito? May dumi ba siya sa mukha? Her heart had started beating faster when she saw him earlier. She felt warm and tingly, feelings she hated right now. Ang laki ng problema niya para makipaglandian ulit dito. Mukhang ito na yata palagi ang root cause ng mga problema niya.
“So, okay na ba ang mga plano niyo para sa bago mong shop, Kate?” tanong ng daddy niya.
“Okay na, Dad. Konting adjustments na lang. Kung maka-decide na ako sa location, we can start construction next month.”
“Lucky, hijo, salamat sa pag-alalay mo kay Kate sa kanyang negosyo,” baling naman dito ng daddy niya.
“Dad, hindi niya ako inaalalayan,” sabat niya. “I owe him money payable with interest. Iba ang loan, iba ang umaalalay, dahil ang umaalalay, libre,” pagtatama niya rito.
Naiirita siya sa patronizing attitude ng kanyang daddy na para bang hindi siya magtatagumpay kung wala si Lucky. Si Lucky na naman ang hero nito. Sobrang taas ng tingin nito kay Lucky.
But of course, alam naman niya kung bakit. Lucky saved her father’s life. She inwardly sighed. That was the truth, and she would be forever grateful to Lucky, pero bakit ba ito na lang palagi ang bida sa mga mata ng lahat? He couldn’t seem to do wrong in their eyes.
“Oo nga naman, sir,” sang-ayon ni Lucky sa kanya. His eyes were twinkling with amusement, hindi apektado sa patutsada niya. Naiinis siya na cool na cool ito at siya ay tensiyonado. Nakakaasar ang ngisi nito at gusto niya itong batuhin ng kutsara. Bakit ba siya inis na inis dito na hindi niya maintindihan? Hormonal na ba siya?
“So, kumusta naman ’yong balak ninyong negosyo ni DL, Luck?” pag-iiba ng ama sa usapan.
Napataas ang mga kilay niya. “Anong negosyo?”
“Hey, sis, hindi lang kayo ni Lucky ang magkasosyo, kami rin. We’re gonna build the biggest race track in the country, complete with world-class, state of the art facilities. Dadalhin namin ang Formula 21 dito sa Pilipinas,” nagmamalaking litanya ni DL.
“Really?” sarcastic na sabi niya at tiningnan nang matalim si Lucky.
“Nasa planning stage pa kami. Sana makakuha pa kami ng sososyo sa amin. Nasabi mo na ba ito kay X, Luck?”
“Yeah. He’s really considering it.”
Maya-maya pa’y nagpapalitan na ang mga ito ng mga ideya.
Nadagdagan ang init ng ulo niya nang umagang iyon habang nakamasid. Buntis siya at si Lucky ang ama. Parang lahat na lang ng pabor ay nakasentro rito. He was taking control of everything in her life, her family especially. Ang mga magulang, kapatid at mga kaanak niya ay pawang mga maamong tupa na lumalapit dito. Lahat ay bilib na bilib dito.
“Mukhang ang dami ng nangyayari na hindi ko alam, ah. And DL, hindi ko siya partner. He just loaned me money, like a bank, you know?”
“Sis, ang kulit mo. I get it, okay? Pareho lang naman ’yon. Bakit ang init ng ulo mo?” tanong nitong natatawa sa kanya.
Inirapan lang niya ito at kumain.
“May lakad ba kayo ni Lucky today, hija?” tanong ng Mommy niya.
Hindi niya sinagot ang ina, itinuon ang atensiyon sa pagkain. Parang bigla siyang sobrang nagutom.
“Wala naman ho, Ma’am. Dinadalaw ko lang si Kate. May pag-uusapan din kami ni DL mamaya,” sagot na lamang ni Lucky para sa kanya.
Walang kamay-malay ang mga ito sa namamagitan sa kanila ni Lucky. Kung alam lang ng mga ito, ang laking gulo. Bago pa man sila piliting magpakasal, sigurado niyang masisira ang magandang pagtingin ng kanyang mga magulang at kapatid kay Lucky.
Another good reason to keep it all to herself as long as she could still manage. Kahit sobra siyang asar dito, ayaw naman niyang sumama ito sa paningin ng pamilya niya.
NAGKASARILINAN SILA NI LUCKY sa isang sulok ng malaking sala ng kanilang mansiyon.
“Why are you here? Wala naman tayong usapan,” matamlay na tanong niya.
Ngumiti ito, hinapit siya sa baywang. “I missed you, babe. Hindi ako makatulog kagabi. Iniisip kita. You didn’t answer my calls,” malambing na sabi nito at masuyo siyang hinalikan sa mga labi.
Napapikit siya, pilit na nilabanan ang mala-engkantong sensasyong hatid ng mga labi nito. He was such a great kisser. A skillful lover. Napakadaling magpadala sa seduction nito, but she shrunk away from him despite the heat that he readily ignited within her. Mas nangingibabaw ang problema niya.
Noon, si Lucky ang agad na sumbungan niya kung may problema siya. Ngayon, he was the last person she’d want to talk to about her condition. He would surely go crazy. She would be handing him a great weapon to completely take over her life, pretty much like a coup de etat. And she’d have a husband for real, this time. A man who threatened everything inside her. Nope. Siya ang magde-decide sa buhay niya mula ngayon.
Itinukod niya ang mga kamay sa dibdib nito. “Luck, please, baka makita tayo nina Mommy…”
Hindi ito bumitaw sa kanya. “Susunduin kita sa boutique mo mamaya.”
“No! I can’t! I mean…marami akong gagawin today,” pagdadahilan niya.
“May manager ka para gawin ang ibang mga bagay sa negosyo mo. I want to see you tonight, babe.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
Tinitigan siya nito, medyo naningkit ang mga mata. “Is something wrong? Nag-usap na tayo ’di ba?”
Defensive na tinitigan niya rin ito. “Yes, we have. I call the shots, remember? We had an agreement. Kung kelan lang natin parehong gusto. Ayoko ngayon.”
His nostrils flared. “Talaga?”
“Don’t give me that Neanderthal look. Wala na ba akong karapatang tumanggi? Aren’t you man enough to take that a no really means no?”
He smirked and pulled her closer to his body, making her feel his superior strength. “We both know you say one thing and mean another.”
She was melting. He smelled so good. So warm…and hard…and acting like a caveman. Using sex to make her yield to him every time. She sneered at him, fighting his powerful magnetism. “So, sex na lang ang dahilan kaya tayo magkasama ngayon?”
Namula ito. “H-hindi naman…”
“Then, no, Luck. Don’t be pushy, and don’t be clingy. Hindi bagay sa ’yo.”
Lalo itong namula. Alam niyang nasundot na niya ang pride nito. Hindi nito tipo ang naghahabol ng babae. Siya lang marahil ang hinahabol-habol nito. If things had been different…
Binitiwan siya nito. “Huwag mong ubusin ang pasensiya ko.”
“Or what?” nanghahamon niyang tanong, itinaas ang noo.
Muli siyang kinabig nito at hinalikan sa mga labi. Halik na mapang-angkin, dominante, maalab. His tongue played inside her mouth, igniting her senses. Napakapit siya sa mga balikat nito, nanlambot.
Binitawan siyang bigla. “I hate games. But I can play if I want to, and believe me, I hate losing. Pero nirerespeto kita at ang pamilya mo, Kate. Mahalaga ka sa akin. Sobra. Natiis kong tingnan ka lang noon. Nagparaya ako sa iba. But now that I have you, I intend to keep you. Whatever issues you have inside you, I know you want me in your life, too. Pero huwag mo akong paikutin na parang tanga. Don’t blow me hot and cold just because you can’t decide what you really want. Hindi mo ako kaya, you understand?”
She glared at him in defiance, but her insides were quaking. Hindi ganito si Lucky sa kanya noon. Palagi itong gentle, soft-spoken at indulgent. Pero siya naman ang unang nang-insulto at gumaganti lang ito. Ganoon na sila ngayon. Nagpa-power play. Hindi na sila friends. Parang magkaaway na nga sila.
“Do you understand?!” he repeated in a firmer tone, his eyes smoldering.
Napalulon siya at tumango.
Iyon lang at tinalikuran na siya nito.
Sinundan niya ito ng tingin habang papalayo. A part of her wanted to run after him, pero hindi naman niya alam ang sasabihin dito.
Umalis ito ng mansiyon kasama ni DL.
DUMATING SI SELENA. Nagpaalam si Kate sa kanyang mga magulang na sasamang mag-shopping sa tiyahin.
Bumalik sila ni Selena sa clinic ni Doktora Alejandre. Sa pagkakataong iyon, maluwag na niyang natanggap ang kanyang kalagayan. She was going to be a mother, and she must take care of herself for the life growing inside her.
Nagpa-pre-natal check-up siya. Niresetahan siya ng doctor ng mga vitamins, sinigurong maayos ang kanyang katawan at normal ang kanyang pagbubuntis.
Sari-saring emosyon ang lumukob sa kanya. Napakabilis ng mga pangyayari sa buhay niya. Last month, she was only thinking of having children one day soon. She had no idea it would be this soon, and not with Nico.
With Lucky.
She was unsure of so many things right now, pero isa lang ang sigurado niya, isisilang niya ang batang ito. Mamahalin niya ito at mamahalin siya nito. Hindi pa man, ramdam na niya ang strong bond nila ng baby niya. Tenderness overwhelmed her.
Naluha siya sa sobrang saya.
“ANO’NG BALAK MO NGAYON?” tanong ng tiyahin niya habang kumakain sila sa isang restaurant.
“Ewan ko, Tita. Basta, akin ang baby ko.” Hinaplos niya ang tiyan. Bakit ngayon ay nararamdaman na niyang may nabubuhay sa kanyang sinapupunan? Was it psychological? Lukso ng dugo? Ito na ba ’yon?
“You will make a wonderful mother, Kate.”
Ngumiti siya. She knew that in her heart. She would do everything for this baby. “Babae kaya ito o lalaki?”
“A few months lang ay mahahalata na ’yan,” paalala nito. “You should tell him, you know? He has a right to know.”
Tumingin siya sa labas ng restaurant. “I will tell him, Tita. Just not right now. Hindi pa ako handang malaman ng iba.”
“Kailan? Bakit pinapahirapan mo ang sarili mo, Kate? You need Lucky’s support more than ever. I’m very sure na matutuwa ’yon kapag nalaman niyang magiging daddy na siya.”
“I know. I will tell him, but in my own good time. Ayokong maging dahilan ang baby para magpakasal kami. I won’t go through that again. It’s antiquated and barbaric! Kung hindi kami ipinagkasundo ni Nico, matututunan ko kaya siyang mahalin? O talagang kinondisyon ko lang ang sarili ko na siya ang mahalin ko kasi siya ’yong napiling magiging asawa ko. But if given the choice…” her voice trailed off. “No wonder he cheated on me. Napilitan lang din siguro siya na mahalin ako, kasi akala niya wala siyang choice. But I do have a choice now.”
Iyon ang unang pagkakataon na nagsalita siya sa dahilan ng break-up nila ni Nico sa isang kapamilya niya. It seemed a bit easier to think about it now. Somehow.
“I’m so sorry, anak. I didn’t know,” malungkot na hinawakan ng tiyahin ang kamay niya.
Nagkibit-balikat siya. “My only regret is I saw the signs, but I completely ignored them. I didn’t even give myself the chance to assert for something better. I settled, because he was everybody’s choice, and because I didn’t want to displease my family. I know better now.”
Selena sighed. “But you’re becoming bitter, my love. Your family loves you very much and we only want the best for you. We just want you to be happy.”
“Then kung totoo man ’yan, Tita, hindi ninyo ako pipiliting magpakasal just to save face. You will respect my decision. That will make me happy. Can you guarantee that?”
Malungkot itong umiling. “I wish I could.”
“I thought so.”
15
SOUNDTRACK
SET FIRE TO THE RAIN by Adele
KULANG SA TULOG nang nagdaang gabi kaya mainit ang ulo ni Lucky nang umagang iyon. Papunta siya sa bahay nina Kate. Sumosobra na ang babaing ’yon! Hindi pa rin nito sinasagot ang mga tawag niya. Ni ayaw sumagot sa mga text messages niya. Ayaw rin siyang harapin kapag dumadalaw siya.
Pagkatapos nilang magkasundo na maging friends with benefits, isang bagay na hanggang ngayon ay hindi niya mapaniwalaang mas pinili nito kaysa tanggapin ang alok niyang kasal, bakit tila mas lalong naging malabo ang relasyon nila ni Kate? Lalo itong lumalayo sa kanya. Parang galit ito sa kanya.
Parang pinatakim lang siya, tapos wala na. Parang droga itong sininghot niya at na-addict agad siya, pero naubusan agad ng supply. At heto siya, parang mababaliw na sa pagnanais na matikman ulit iyong “high” na dulot ng drogang ’yon.
Mas mabuti pa yata noong hindi pa niya nakukuha si Kate. Iyong hanggang pantasya lang siya. Iyong hindi talaga niya alam kung ano ang pakiramdam ng maangkin ito. Iyong imaginary lang ang amoy nito, ang lasa nito, ang init ng sensuwalidad nito. Hindi ganoon kahirap tanggapin noon na hanggang pantasya lang siya.
Pero ngayon, alam na niya ang pakiramdam. Alam na niya kung gaano katamis ang mga labi nito, kung gaano kabango ang katawan nito, kung gaano kasarap angkinin ito. Nakakasira ng ulo iyong alam niyang nakuha na niya tapos mawawala. Lalo na kung maagaw ng iba. Makakapatay siguro siya.
Nababaliw na nga siya.
Pumikit siya at isinandal ang ulo sa backrest. Dapat ay papunta siya sa Subic ngayon, pero inuna niyang puntahan si Kate. Hindi siya matatahimik buong araw sa trabaho kapag hindi man lang niya ito nakita ngayon.
Napabuntong-hininga siya. Naalala niya ang sinabi nito noong nakaraang araw. Tinanong siya nito kung sex na lang ba ang dahilan bakit sila magkasama ngayon.
Tinamaan siya doon. Masakit. Kasi hindi naman totoo iyon. Hindi naman sex lang ang habol niya rito. Pakakasalan nga eh. Kahit siguro walang sex, basta bumalik lang iyong dating closeness nila. Okay, kalabisan na ’yon. Kahit hindi madalas ang sex, basta magkasama sila palagi, titiisin niya.
Maybe he was doing something wrong? Nagkaganito lang naman si Kate matapos may mangyari sa kanila sa Punta del Sol. Kung hindi siguro nangyari iyon, baka mas lalo pa silang naging malapit sa isa’t isa ngayon. Kasi dadamayan naman niya ito hanggang maka-move on ito kay Nico. Kahit masaktan pa siya.
Ngayon lang niya gustong pagsisihan ang nagawa, kasi nasasaktan na siya nang sobra sa mga rejections ni Kate sa kanya. Akala niya kaya niya na hanggang sex lang sila. Tang-ina, siya iyong nagbibilang ng babae dati, ngayon ay siya ang naghahabol na parang tanga. Sobrang dikdik na ang pride niya kay Kate. Nakakababa na ng dignidad.
But she missed her so much, and it was killing him everyday. Miss na miss na niya iyong prinsesa niyang masayahin at palaging nakangiti. Gusto niyang bumalik ang Kate na ’yon sa kanya, iyong thoughtful at inaalagaan siya. At kaya niyang gawin ang magpakababa. Ang lamunin ang pride niya. Ganoon niya kamahal si Kate.
Kaya gagawin niya iyon ngayon. Ang magpakababa ulit. Maybe she needed to hear it from him. Kung gaano niya ito kamahal. Kung gaano na katagal niya itong minamahal. Takot na takot siyang sabihin dito iyon. Malamang sa hindi, ire-reject lang siya nito. Hindi pa ito handang magmahal ulit. Naiintindihan naman niya ’yon. Pero ilang beses ba siyang ire-reject nito bago siya matutunang mahalin nito?
O di kaya’y huwag na lang siyang magtapat ng damdamin at maging kaibigan na lang siya muna nito? Iyong cool at laid back na kaibigan nito noon. Kaya ba niya iyon? Iyong parang wala lang.
Napailing siya. Hindi niya kaya ang ganoon. Kung sa ibang babae magaling siyang makipaglaro, pagdating kay Kate, hindi niya kayang magkunwari.
Bahala na. He needed to be real with her, open his heart and soul to her, so she would see that he was still the same man, na walang nagbago sa kanya, maliban na lang sa malaya na siyang magpahayag ng pagmamahal dito ngayon.
Nang marating niya ang mansiyon ng mga DeLeste, lumakas ang kaba niya pero mas sumidhi ang determinasyon niyang baguhin ang takbo ng istorya nila ni Kate. Tama na ang patigasan at ang mga pride na wala sa lugar. Pagod na siya. He wanted to be real with her. As real as he could get.
Pinagbuksan siya ng pinto ni Cesar. “Good morning, Sir.”
“Morning, Cesar. Si Kate?”
“Kaalis lang po, Sir.”
Tumigil siya sa paglakad. “Saan pumunta?’
“Hindi ko po alam, Sir. Si Madam Bea, nasa sun room. Siya na lang po ang tanungin niyo.”
“Okay, thank you, Cesar.” Dumiretso siya sa sun room. Naroon ang ina ni Kate, nagkakape.
“Ma’am… Good morning po,” magalang na bati niya rito.
“Oh, hijo! Good morning! Halika, join me.”
Bumeso siya sa ginang. Agad siyang inasikaso nito.
“Coffee?”
“Ako na ho ang magtimpla, Ma’am.”
“Tita. Tita Bea ang itawag mo sa akin. Ano ka ba, ilang taon ka ng ma’am ng ma’am. Nagtatampo na ako.”
“Sorry, Tita. Nasanay po kasi ako sa States, at saka sa military.”
“Okay, sit down. Sugar? Cream?”
Naupo siya sa kaharap nitong silya. “Black po. One sugar.”
“Teka, kaalis lang ni Kate, ah. Mga fifteen minutes na siguro. Nagkasalisi lang kayo.”
“Saan po siya nagpunta?”
“May meeting daw sila ni Aris. May titingnan daw silang location ng boutique niya. Hindi naman sinabi kung saan.”
He went still. Magkikita sina Kate at Aris? Kate didn’t even tell him para nasamahan sana niya ito. Pero palagay niya ay sinadya nitong hindi sabihin sa kanya. Ayaw nitong magpasama sa kanya. She wanted him out of the picture.
Nakuyom niya ang mga palad sa ilalim ng mesa. Parang pinipiga ang dibdib niya. Uminit ang mga tainga niya. Parang nasusunog siya sa galit at hinanakit na kumukulo sa loob niya.
“There you go.” Ipinatong ni Bea ang tasa ng kape sa harapan niya. Nilagyan nito ng isang croissant and plato niya, saka ilang strips ng bacon. “Kain na, hijo.”
“Thank you po,” mahina niyang sabi. He didn’t trust himself to speak.
“Teka, hindi ka ba tinawagan ni Kate?”
Pinilit niyang gawing normal ang expression sa kanyang mukha. “Baka nakalimutan lang ho niyang sabihin sa akin.” Uminom siya ng kape. Parang asidong dumaloy ang likido sa lalamunan niya pababa sa kanyang tiyan.
“Hijo…nag-aaway ba kayo ni Kate?”
Nagulat siya sa tanong ng ginang. “H-hindi naman ho.”
Nagkibit-balikat ito. “Kasi parang hindi ko na kayo nakikitang lumalabas ni Kate. Dati-rati, twice or thrice a week kayong lumalabas o nagkikita rito sa bahay.”
“Medyo pareho lang ho kaming busy sa work lately. Lalo sa si Kate.”
“Anak, pagpasensiyahan mo na si Kate kung palaging mainit ang ulo o hindi maintindihan ang mood. Dala lang siguro ng mga nangyari…alam mo na.”
“Naintindihan ko naman ho. No worries, Tita.”
“I know naman, hijo, you will always take good care of Kate.”
Ngumiti lang siya. Parang sinisilihan ang pakiramdam niya. Kung pwede lang na umalis na siya kaagad pero nahiya naman siya sa ina ni Kate na pinagsisilbihan siyang parang anak nito.
“Si Tito Anton po?”
“Nag-golf sila ni DL. Nag-bonding silang mag-ama. Alam mo na, malapit na namang mawala ang batang ’yon ng ilang buwan.”
“I see. That’s great.”
“Kumusta nga pala ang Mommy mo? Kelan siya magbabakasyon ulit dito sa Pilipinas?”
“Hindi ko po alam, eh. Mas gusto nitong mag-bakasyon sa Europe kaysa dito.”
“Eh, sino ba naman ang ayaw sa Europe?”
He smiled sadly. “She’s Filipino. She should love her home country more.”
“I’m sorry, hijo.”
“It’s okay, Tita. Sanay na ako kay Mama.”
Nakipagkuwentuhan siya nang ilang minuto sa ina ni Kate at saka nagpaalam na.
HABANG PAPALABAS ng mansiyon, tinawagan ni Lucky si Jojo. Sumagot naman kaagad ang driver/bodyguard ni Kate. Inalam niya kung nasaan si Kate. Nasa opisina raw ito ni Aris. Sinabihan niya si Jojo na ipaalam sa kanya ang mga lugar na pupuntahan ni Kate. Pagkatapos ay nagpa-drive siya sa kanyang bodyguard papuntang Ayala Center.
Matrapik na ang mga daan papasok sa sentro ng Makati. Hindi na siya dapat dumaan pa dito pero hindi niya mapigil ang sarili. Gusto niyang makita si Kate.
Maya-maya pa’y nagtext si Jojo na pupunta sina Kate at Aris sa Greenbelt. Sa sasakyan ni Aris umano sumakay si Kate. Lalo siyang nagngitngit.
Dahil sa mabagal na daloy ng trapiko, lagpas tatlumpong minuto nang narating niya ang Greenbelt 5, kung saan naroon sina Kate at Aris. Nasundan niya ang mga ito sa ground floor ng mall, mukhang tinitingnan ang isang espasyong nabakante.
He kept his distance from them. Balak niya kaninang mag-join sa mga ito pero nagbago ang isip niya nang ma-realize kung gaano ka-pathetic ang ginagawa niya. Sa tanang buhay niya ay hindi pa niya nagagawa ang ganito, ang espiyahan ang isang babae dahil sa matinding pagseselos niya.
Kate looked happy as she chatted with Aris and another guy who seemed to be an employee of the mall. Ayaw niyang pag-isipan nang masama ang ginagawa ni Kate dahil nakikita naman niyang trabaho iyon. Mukha namang professional si Aris. Nagseselos lang siya at nagdaramdam dahil hindi na siya isinasali ni Kate sa mga plano nito sa negosyo nito. Financier na nga lang talaga ang role niya sa project na ito, hindi na tulad ng dati na excited si Kate na ibalita sa kanya ang kahit kaliit-liitang detalye ng negosyo nito. Masakit kasi naroon siya noong nangangarap pa lang itong magkaroon ng sariling negosyo. He was the one who encouraged her to try, and to succeed.
Ipinasiya niyang hayaan na lang muna ito. Nagpahatid siya sa SU office. Doon nakahimpil ang mga choppers ng SU.
Lulan ng kanyang chopper ay nagpahatid siya kay Jado, isang agent ng SU, papuntang Subic. May importanteng trabahong naghihintay sa kanya roon.
As for opening up his feelings to Kate, fuck that! Who needed more heartache? Iyong ginawa nitong paglihim sa kanya sa meeting nito kay Aris, isang malaking rejection iyon. Tanga na lang siya kung hindi niya makuha ang mensahe.
Friends with benefits. Iyon ang gusto ni Kate na arrangement nila, puwes, gano’n lang talaga sila. Nagpapaka-emo pa kasi siya, eh sex lang naman ang habol ni Kate sa kanya. Napaka-ironic. Kung kelan seryosong-seryoso na siya sa isang babae at handa na niyang isuko ang pagkabinata niya para dito, casual sex lang ang gusto nito sa kanya.
Well, then he should give it to her. He should give it to her like he knew how.
He would be the best fuck buddy she could ever find in this fucking world.
BUMUKAS ANG PINTO NG OPISINA NI KATE.
Sumandal sa hamba si Lucky at tiningnan siya nang nananantiya.
Bigla ang bugso ng damdamin niya pagkakita rito. Kanina lang ay laman ito ng isip niya. Nalaman niya sa Mommy niya na dumaan sa bahay nila si Lucky kaninang umaga. Siguradong alam na nito na nakipagkita siya kay Aris.
Napalunok siya, bumilis ang pintig ng pulso niya, ng puso niya. Parang kakapusin siya ng hininga.
Hindi agad ito pumasok sa loob na dati nitong ginagawa. Halos isang linggo na silang hindi nagkikita. Ilang araw na niyang hindi sinasagot ang tawag nito, tinikis at hindi hinarap sa tuwing dumadalaw ito sa bahay nila, dahil sumasama ang pakiramdam niya kapag nasa malapit ito. Parang may nagrarambol sa loob niya. Inaatake siya ng nausea, nahihilo siya at naduduwal na hindi niya maintindihan. Hindi niya alam kung sintomas na iyon ng pagbubuntis niya o dahil sa stress na baka mabisto nito at ng mga magulang niya ang kalagayan niya.
Then he stopped calling for three days now, and she’d started wondering why. Mukhang nagsawa na yata ito. Iyon naman ang gusto niya, ang tigilan siya nito para makahinga siya. Para makapag-isip siya. Pero hindi rin niya maintindihan ang sarili nang hanap-hanapin niya ito, kahit sa tawag lang sa telepono. It was a tougher battle with herself now, the longing to be free and yet she craved his presence. Iyong dating samahan nila noon. She missed her best friend.
But he was looking at her like a lover. The side of him she was very afraid of. Hindi siya sanay na maging lover si Lucky. Nag-iba ang ugali nito noong naging sexually intimate na sila, at maging siya ay nag-iba rin ang ugali. Pareho lang silang nagbago. At mukhang hindi maganda ang ipinagbago nila. Nagkakasakitan na sila. Barado ang komunikasyon nila. She couldn’t seem to find the effortless openness she used to feel with him.
“Hi, Luck. Napadaan ka?” Pinilit niyang maging casual ang tinig.
“Dinner time na. Halika na. Kain tayo,” pormal na yaya nito.
“Uhm, mamaya na ako. Hindi pa ako gutom eh. Saka, marami pa akong tatapusin dito.”
He straightened to his full height. “Kumain ka sa tamang oras. Let’s go,” maawtoridad na sabi nito.
God, she hated this side of him. He wasn’t cool anymore. He was a tyrant. And he could trigger her temper so easily. Pinilit niyang kalmahin ang sarili. Ayaw niyang mag-away na naman sila. “Ayan ka na naman, Luck, eh. Bigla ka na lang darating dito para guluhin ang schedule ko. Hindi na ako bata. Kakain ako kung kelan ako gutom.”
Parang wala itong narinig. “Gusto mo ng take out? Dito na lang tayo kumain? Magpapabili ako sa mall.”
“Sabi ng hindi ako gutom!” Totoo naman ’yon. Maselan ang panlasa at pang-amoy niya ngayon. May mga amoy ng pagkain na ayaw niya. Hindi rin niya ma-predict kung anong amoy o lasa. Paiba-iba halos araw-araw. Minsan ayaw niya ng lasa ng bawang. Minsan naman hinahanap niya. Ang gulo ng katawan niya, lalo na ng utak niya.
He advanced into the room slowly.
She felt threatened. Gusto niyang mapaatras. This was irrational. Bakit ba natatakot siya rito? This was Lucky, the man who would protect her from anything. Alam niya iyon sa kaloob-looban niya, pero takot na takot siya rito. How she wished na may maiharang siyang pader sa pagitan nila para hindi ito makalapit sa kanya, dahil sa oras na makalapit ito sa kanya, she’d feel totally vulnerable. Exposed.
“Ganito na lang ba tayo parati, Kate? Dinner lang, pinagtatalunan pa natin? Dati naman nating ginagawa ito.” Mababa ang tinig nito, pero ramdam niya ang pagtitimpi nito.
“Kasi hindi ka naman nagyayaya. Nagmamando ka. As if I don’t have any choice but to obey you. Hindi kita boss.Pumupunta ba ako sa office mo para istorbohin ka?”
“Oo, dati, palagi. Hindi ka nga pumupunta sa office ko. Tinatawagan mo ako at ako ang pumupunta sa ’yo.”
Napahiya siya. Oo nga naman.
“Did you know that many times you’d called in the middle of me with a woman? May instance ba na hindi ako dumating pag tumawag ka?”
Nandilat ang mga mata niya. Hindi niya alam ’yon. Nakaka-flatter kung tutuusin na kaya nitong iwanan ora-orada ang sinumang babae noon para sa kanya, pero ang marinig mula sa bibig nito ang mga pinaggagagawa nito sa ibang babae, lalong uminit ang ulo niya. He would actually bring that up here?
“Wala namang pumilit sa ’yo na iwanan mo sila para sa akin. You always had a choice.”
Tumingin ito sa sahig nang ilang saglit. Pagkuwa’y nag-angat ulit ng tingin at ngumiti. But the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Talagang hindi ka gutom?”
Umiling siya. “Ikaw na lang ang kumain. Okay lang ako.”
“Okay.” Isinara nito ang pinto, ini-lock, saka muli siyang hinarap. With a wicked smile on his lips, his eyes slowly travelled down her body. Her pulse accelerated, but for a different reason now.
He removed his suit jacket.
“W-what are you doing?”
“Kung hindi ka gutom, ako na lang ang pakainin mo. Gutom na gutom ako.”
She knew he wasn’t talking about food anymore. He couldn’t be serious…!
Kinalas nito ang necktie at mga butones ng dress shirt nito. Pulling the shirt tail out of his waistband, he unbuttoned his shirt all the way down, exposing his muscled torso. He’d known him for so long, pero hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin siya sanay na naghuhubad ito sa harapan niya. And she couldn’t help staring. Damn it, why did he have to look so gorgeous?
Parang tinatambol na ang dibdib niya sa takot…sa excitement. Traydor talaga ng katawan niya. Naghubad lang ito, gusto na ring mangalaglag ang mga damit niya nang kusa. Hindi niya makontrol ang reaksiyon ng katawan niya rito. Kahit pa nagsusumigaw ang utak niyang tanggihan ito ngayon, ang slutinella coochie niya, ayun, naghahanda ng papasukin ito sa katawan niya na parang may shower party. Bwisit talaga! Bakit hindi magkasundo ang utak at coochie niya pagdating sa lalaking ito?
Lumapit ito sa kanya. Napaatras siya. But he stalked her until he had backed her into a corner. Literally.
Itinaas niya ang mga kamay. “Luck, you stop right there!”
He paused a few feet from her.
“You…you can’t do this?!”
“What?” He uncuffed his shirt, pulling the sleeves to expose his forearms.
“You can’t just come in here and do…and do whatever you like! Opisina ko ito, may mga tao sa labas! Mga customers!” nauutal niyang sabi.
He crossed the remaining distance between them and pressed his big, hard body against her, trapping her against the wall.
“No…!” she protested even as her insides were melting quickly as heat consumed her body. Gusto niya ang amoy nito. Gustong-gusto.
“Shh, be quiet, babe. Baka marinig ka ng mga employess at customers mo.”
“Lucky, I’m warning you…!” Naeeskandalo siya sa gusto nitong mangyari. Sa opisina niya talaga?! Pasado alas-sais pa lang nang gabi. Busy pa sa store.
He ground his hips against her belly, making her feel his intention. “Your fuck buddy is really horny. Masyado mo siyang ginutom. He needs to binge.”
“Not here. Luck, not here!” she hissed at him, frantic.
“Too late. Kanina niyaya kitang lumabas. Ayaw mo. Kaya dito na lang tayo.” He buried his face in her neck, inhaling deeply. “I missed your smell.”
She shrunk into the wall trying to evade his touch, even as her body was betraying her. The last time they had sex, hindi pa niya alam na buntis siya. She thought she could enjoy sex with him without strings attached. But she found out after that encounter that she was pregnant with his baby. Nag-iba na rin ang pakiramdam niya. Parang hindi na tamang makikipag-sex pa siya rito na parang wala lang. Parang may sobrang mali na.
He licked the column of her neck. Goosebumps rose all over her skin. He was igniting every nerve-ending in her body, making her nipples swell and itch. And between her legs, she was already pulsing with the ache he’d easily stoked to a maddening intensity.
His hands cupped her bottom and squeezed, pulling her closer to his body. “Sinasadya mo bang hindi sagutin ang mga tawag ko para takamin ako, babe?” His tongue found her earlobe. It darted inside, teasing her, making her shiver as heat seemed to be shooting out of her pores. Pakiramdam niya ay magliliyab siya anumang sandali. “It definitely worked. The more I thought about you, the hornier I got. Feel me?”
She could definitely feel him making a very hard impression on her belly where his baby was now growing. Big impression. Oh God, this is so wrong…!
“Minsan nga hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko, I jacked off. I was going mad wanting you, and you wouldn’t even see me. Kung hindi ka lang nakatira sa parents mo, baka pinuntahan na kita sa bedroom mo.” He sucked her neck, the sensation making her want to moan loudly. “But I didn’t like jacking off. You know why?”
“No…” His breath was warm as his lips hovered on her lips. She wanted to close the tiny gap and kiss him, feel his tongue sliding inside her mouth. Just as he’d slide that very hard part of him inside her soon.
He licked her cheek. She gasped. Wanting more.
“Because I already knew it would feel so much better if I came inside you. I miss your p*ssy, babe. I miss how tight it feels around my cock. Wet…and hot…”
His raw words made her knees weak. Made her bones liquefy. She was gushing cream between her legs, her inner muscles clenching, remembering how good he felt inside her.
He threaded his fingers through her hair, holding her head in place.
“Look at me,” he commanded.
Umangat ang tingin niya para salubungin ang titig nito.
“Tell me you missed me.”
Ipinikit niya nang mariin ang mga mata para iwasan ang tanong nito.
Pumailalim ang kamay nito sa kanyang pencil skirt. He cupped her sex, squeezing, massaging her swollen lips through her panties.
Napasinghap siya. Sa pananabik. Sa galit sa kanyang kahinaan.
Then his fingers were inside her underwear, sliding in between her wet folds. Oh, god…!She was such a fraud!
“At least, your p*ssy doesn’t lie. She’s so excited to see her BFF.”
If it wasn’t so maddening, his words would have made her laugh. Lucky had always made her laugh. He had a sense of humor that always jived with hers. But it wasn’t funny when he was shredding her self-respect every time he touched her.
He found her opening, and he circled it before plunging a finger inside her.
Umungol ito. “So tight…Tell me you missed my c*ck stretching this tight, little wet hole of yours, baby doll.”
His words were provocative, shocking and arousing her at the same time. God, she’d really turned into a total slut for this man!
Lumuhod ito sa paanan niya at itinaas ang may kasikipang pencil skirt niya. Habol niya ang hininga habang nakatingin dito. He grinned up at her and burrowed his face in the V between her legs. Nanghihina siyang napasandal sa dinding, napahawak sa mga balikat nito.
Her panties hit the floor, and the next thing she knew, her leg was draped over his shoulder and he was eating her out like a food fest.
Oh my gaaahhhh….!
From her vantage point she could see everything. How his talented tongue worked on her wet, swollen folds. She found out it was a totally different experience when the sensations had the matching visuals. She saw every flick of his tongue and felt every movement resonate from her clit all throughout her body. Halos mapugto ang hininga niya sa pagpipigil na mapaungol nang malakas sa sobrang sarap. At mas lalong nakaka-arouse pala kapag may mga tao sa labas ng silid na pwedeng makarinig sa kanila kapag nag-ingay sila.
And the sounds he was making as he was eating her, god, so sexy! Parang takam na takam ito sa kanya. Parang mauubusan. And she was secreting juices so much his lips were now so wet with it. Her core was churning with the delicious pressure she knew would erupt in a mind-blowing bliss any moment now. He couldn’t help grinding herself against his face to speed up her climb to the summit.
Biglang tumigil ito sa ginagawa, tumayo at tinungo ang sofa, naupo roon. He spread his legs like a king and sat there, looking at her arrogantly, his lips shiny with her juices.
Kung hindi lang siya nakasandal sa dinding ay baka naupos na siyang parang kandila sa sahig. Her legs had turned to jelly, even as her femininity throbbed angrily with the need to come.
“Come here,” he commanded like a boss, patting his lap.
Nanumbalik ang galit niya. The bastard really wanted to humiliate her. Gusto nitong palaging ipamukha sa kanya na sa labang ito, mas nakakalamang ito sa kanya.
“Pun intended?” she retorted sarcastically.
He just grinned and slowly unzipped his pants, pushing it low on his hips. He peeled down his underwear. His manhood sprung up.
Staring at that thick, hard thing distended to its impressive full length, the ache in her core turned to pain.
“Come here, baby doll. Don’t you want this?” He held it up from the base, showing her what she could have. He knew how to use that thing really well, too. Her inner muscles clenched in intense longing.
He was taunting her with it, turning her into his sex slave.
With rubbery legs, she walked to her table and picked up a stapler, throwing it at him. Natatawang umilag lang ito. Tumama sa dinding ang stapler.
“Ikaw rin, baka pumasok dito si Aina, lalo kang mabibitin. I, on the other hand, can always finish myself. Now, do you know how to make yourself come, baby doll?”
He started moving his hand on his shaft. Up and down…
“My hand could be your pssy…I wish it was your pssy…”
Her insides were clenching hard now, wishing he was inside her, pleasuring her with that thing.
With a rebellious cry, she went to him, stood in front of him, shaking with rage at what he had reduced her into. “I really hate you!”
He smiled up at her mockingly. “Use that hate. Hop in the saddle, baby doll. Hate-fuck me.”
Hate-fuck daw. Pwede!
She removed her high heels and awkwardly straddled him. In all their sexual encounters, palaging ito ang nagli-lead sa kanya, ang nagtuturo kung ano ang gagawin. Now he was just sitting there, waiting for her to make a move. It was both a dominant and a subjugated position. Siya nga ang nasa itaas, pero siya ang sumusunod sa gusto nito.
He pointed his cock between her legs. “Raise your skirt, I want to see myself enter you.”
Nagrerebelde ang pride niya pero nagliliyab na ang katawan niya sa pananabik sa susunod na mangyayari. She raised her skirt around her hips, exposing her wetness to him again.
He stared her swollen folds that he’d eaten just a while ago while she stared at his massive erection with hunger.
“You know what to do, baby.” He let go of his manhood and spread his arms at the back of the sofa. His thing was almost lying flat against his lower abdomen, reaching his navel.
Nilamon na niya ang pride. She sat on his shaft. The first contact of their flesh made her moan. He was so hot and hard, and she was so wet and needy. She couldn’t help grinding against his shaft to alleviate the ache inside her, demanding for release. And she found out that this was a good position to rub her clit directly on his hardness. It felt so good!
He hissed a breath. “Babe…” Bumaba ang mga kamay nito sa kanyang balakang. But she couldn’t keep still. She pressed down on him harder, moving her hips faster. She was fast climbing to the summit…
His hands gripped the front of her blouse.
“Don’t you dare,” she warned him belatedly, but buttons already flew as he ripped her blouse open, exposing her chest. Flicking the font clasp of her bra expertly, he freed her breasts. She sighed in relief, too. Her breasts were so sensitive lately, and when he caught one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked, pakiramdam niya ay sasabog siya sa sarap. She cradled his head with her hands as he feasted on her nipples hungrily.
She was so close and grinding against him was no longer enough. She wanted him inside her. So deep inside her.
“Luck, please, please, I want…I want…”
He let go of her nipple and stared into her eyes. “Tell me you missed me.”
“I missed you. I missed you so much!” she admitted frantically and kissed him, tasting him, tasting herself on his lips. Their tongues clashed and dueled, and she was going crazy with need. Gigil na gigil siyang hindi niya maintindihan. She wanted to devour him, all of him!
She ground her sex against him faster, harder, desperate to end this exquisite torture.
She felt him shifting her, aligning their bodies, and then he was entering her, stretching her aching sheath with his hot, incredibly hard c*ck. She was already at the edge and the mere feel of him sliding inside her made her come.
Her cry of pleasure was cut off by his kiss. He pushed himself up to the hilt inside her as her orgasm seized her entire system, rocking her from the inside out. Her sheath spasmed around his hardness, and she squeezed him inside her, riding out her peak to the fullest.
Still swimming in bliss, she was vaguely aware of him flipping their position, and then she was under him on the sofa.
He raised her legs on his biceps and took his own pleasure, owning her body like he always did, possessive, hungry, dominant. With every thrust and pull he made, her pleasure heightened.
Her orgasm seemed to go on and on…
And when he buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and shuddered, her pleasure was complete.
There was nothing more perfect to behold and feel than Lucky coming inside her, pouring his hot seed so deep inside her.
“GUTOM KA NA BA, BABE? KAIN NA TAYO?”
Lucky’s lazy voice entered Kate’s lethargic consciousness.
Masuyo nitong hinahaplos ang kanyang buhok, ang kanyang likod. Nakahiga sila pareho sa sectional sofa. Nakapatong ang kalahati ng katawan niya sa katawan nito. Naidlip yata sila. Hindi niya alam kung gaano katagal.
Umungol lang siya.
“Saan mo gustong kumain, angel? Dito o sa labas? Puwede naman tayong magpa-deliver dito galing sa isang restaurant dito sa mall.”
Dumilat siya. Ang lambing ng tono ng kumag. Parang matagal na niyang hindi narinig ang ganitong tono nito.
“Kate…”
Bumangon siya. Gusto niyang matawa sa hitsura niya. Kapag nagse-sex sila ni Lucky, hindi sila nakakapaghubad ng mga damit sa pagmamadali. Palaging sira ang damit niya. He didn’t have the patience to take it off of her properly.
Nahuli niya ang mayabang na ngisi nito. She rolled her eyes at him.
“What. Nasa boutique mo naman tayo. Ang daming damit diyan sa labas.”
May point din naman. “Magtataka lang naman si Aina.”
“Palagay mo hindi pa niya nahuhulaan kung ano’ng nangyayari dito sa loob at halos dalawang oras na akong hindi lumalabas?”
Nag-init ang mga pisngi niya. Tumayo siya at pumasok sa banyo ng kanyang opisina. Tinitigan niya ang sarili sa vanity mirror. Her hair was wild around her shoulders, the front of her blouse open, her strapless bra missing. She looked like a wanton. A thoroughly fucked wanton.
Naghilamos siya, inayos ang sarili. Tatawagan na lang niya si Aina para hatiran siya ng bagong damit na maisusuot. Nakakahiya man, pero wala siyang choice.
Bumukas ang pinto ng banyo. Pumasok si Lucky, tumayo sa bandang likuran niya. Maayos na ang itsura nito, parang walang nangyari. Ni hindi nagusot ang damit nito. Sabagay, naka-suit kasi ito na hinubad nito kanina.
“Sa labas na lang tayo kumain. Tatawagan ko lang si Anya para hatiran ako ng bagong damit,” sabi niya.
“What if you get pregnant?”
She froze. Agad siyang nagbaba ng tingin at baka makita nito ang takot sa kanyang mga mata. “Uhm…”
“I’ve never used any protection since Punta del Sol.”
Hindi siya umimik.
“Kate…”
“I’m not…I mean I won’t…get pregnant.” Halos hindi lumabas iyon sa bibig niya. Hindi pa siya handang malaman nito ang kanyang kalagayan.
“Paano ka nakakasiguro?”
“I…after we did it again during Mom and Dad’s anniversary party, I started…I started taking pills. I knew…baka…baka mangyari ulit.” She was lying through her teeth and it was killing her. Naghilamos siya kasi naiiyak na siya. Hindi niya mapigil.
“Hey…” He felt his hands on her shoulders. “It’s alright.”
She pulled out a towel from a rack and buried her face in it, wiping her face and her tears with it. Nagi-guilty siya pero…hindi pa talaga siya handa.
He hugged her from behind. “It’s alright, babe. Ayoko lang na mag-worry ka sa bagay na ’yon. Wala kang dapat na ipag-alala. Alam mo naman na paninindigan kita kapag nangyari ’yon, diba? Nandito lang ako para sa ’yo.”
His words only cemented her suspicion. The baby in her womb was a weapon he would use to lock them in another sham of a marriage. Everyone in her family would support him, too. Siya ang magiging petty at irrational sa paningin ng lahat dahil ayaw niyang magpakasal na buntis na nga siya. Babalewalain ng mga ito ang lahat ng mga pinagdaanan niya noong nakaraang buwan lang para lang isalba ang kahihiyan ng angkan nila na tiyak na madudungisan kapag nabalitang buntis siya out of wedlock.
She pulled away from him. “I’m fine, Luck. I’m fine.”
He kissed her hair and slowly let her go. “Ako na ang lalabas para kumuha ng bagong maisusuot mo. I’ll be right back.”
Nang makaalis ito ay ini-lock niya ang banyo at impit na umiyak.
Bakit siya napunta sa ganito? Sa loob lang ng isang buwan, nagkaganito na ang buhay niya. Napaka-complicated.
Nagsisinungaling siya. Hindi naman siya dating sinungaling. Napaka-ipokrita niya. Ayaw niyang magpakasal kay Lucky pero nakikipag-sex naman siya rito. At kung ang ibang tao ang huhusga, napakatanga niya na tanggihan ang alok ni Lucky na pakasalan siya samantalang buntis na siya.
Saan ba siya lulugar? Bakit ba napakalimitado ng choices niya sa buhay?
God, nakakapagod na. Pagod na pagod na siyang maging masunuring anak, ang maging isang disenteng babae sa paningin ng lipunang kanyang ginagalawan. Napakataas ng pamantayan ng lahat para sa kanya at hindi na niya kayang abutin ang mga pamantayang iyon.
She would have to disappoint everyone soon.
16
SOUNDTRACK
DRIVE …by Sixx:AM (Orig. by The Cars)
HABANG NAMIMILI SIYA NG DAMIT para kay Kate sa boutique nito, hindi mapalagay si Lucky. Kanina sa banyo, umiyak si Kate. Ramdam niya ang paghihirap ng loob nito na pilit nitong itinatago sa kanya. She was silently crying against his chest. Akala ba nito ay hindi niya alam? Naramdaman niya ang panginginig ng katawan nito, na parang hirap na hirap ito. And in that moment, he felt so guilty.
Parang pinipiga ang dibdib niya habang yakap niya ito, nasasaktan siya na nasasaktan ito. Sobrang nalulungkot siya na hindi na ito nag-o-open up sa kanya kahit naroon naman siya, nakayakap dito. Dati ay siya ang iniiyakan nito, ang sumbungan nito, ang confidante nito. Ngayon, hindi na.
At na-realize niya nang mga sandaling iyon kung bakit. Paano itong mag-open up, eh kakatapos lang nilang mag-sex, isang bagay na aaminin niya sa sariling ginagamit niya para i-assert ang sarili niya rito. Sa sobrang takot niyang mawala ito sa kanya, ginagamit niya ang sex para mapasunod ito sa gusto niya. It was Machiavellian. Ganoon siya sa negosyo, sa mga bagay na gusto niyang mapasakanya. He could be really ruthless and driven.
Pero hindi negosyo si Kate. She was the woman he loved. And she was falling apart, pero ano ang ginagawa niya? Mas pinapairal niya ang nasaktang ego niya kasya pagmamahal niya rito. He was competing with Nico, the person who left her for another woman. God, he was such an idiot! Bakit siya nagpapatalo sa insecurity niya sa gagong ’yon?
Siya lang naman ang nag-iisang lalaking nakatalik ni Kate at napakaswerte niya na pagdating sa bagay na ’yon ay bumibigay ito sa kanya. He had the advantage of experience, and she might just like him more than she was willing to admit right now. Bakit hindi? Siya ang best friend nito. Of course, she liked him. She loved him! Maybe as her best friend still, at masakit mang tanggapin iyon, hindi naman natuturuang magmahal kaagad ng iba ang puso. May proseso ang mga bagay-bagay. Masyado lang siyang adelantado. Nagmamadali siya. Natakot siya.
Yes, he became obsessed with possessing her completely. Nagatungan pa siya nina Selena at Alexis, ayun napraning siya. He knew they meant well, but he was the one who knew Kate more than anybody else. He should have known better. She was still very confused and hurting, and here he was, using her own weaknesses against her for his own selfish ends. Hindi niya namamalayang nakadagdag na siya sa mga sama nang loob nito.
Hiyang-hiya siya sa sarili nang mga sandaling iyon. Nag-init ang sulok ng kanyang mga mata. Gusto niyang maiyak sa sobrang guilt. Napigil lang niya ang sarili dahil may mga customers sa boutique at nakaalalay sa kanya si Aina.
Kate…I’m so sorry, angel. I’m so sorry.
Nang muli siyang pumasok sa opisina ni Kate, ipinangako niya sa sariling babawi siya rito. If it was only his friendship she wanted now, then he would give it to her unconditionally. Kahit wala munang sex.
Nagprotesta ang malaking parte ng utak niya pero sinikil niya iyon. Maghihintay siya. Their next sexual encounter must be initiated by her. She must come to him on her own volition.
Ayaw niyang maging fuck buddy lang nito. Gusto niyang maging fuck bestfriend nito.
SUMAMA SI KATE KAY LUCKY para mag-dinner sa hotel nito.
Alam niyang hindi siya titigilan nito hangga’t hindi siya nakakakain. Hindi naman bago sa kanya ang ginagawa nito. Dati na itong ganoon sa kanya, and she thought he was very thoughtful then. Tatawag ito sa telepono at tatanungin kung kamain na siya. O kaya’y magpapadala ito ng pagkain mula sa hotel nito sa kanyang opisina kapag marami siyang ginagawa. O bigla na lang itong susulpot sa kung nasaan man siya, yayayain siyang kumain, o kaya’y magdadala ng pagkain at sasamahan siyang kumain. Siya rin naman ay ganoon dito. They took care of each other then. Sobra nilang sweet sa isa’t isa bilang magkaibigan noon.
Ngayon ay naiilang na siyang magkasama silang kumain. Para kasing kapag sabay silang kumain ngayon, mas intimate na. Parang couple na sila. Eh ayaw niyang maging couple sila. Ayaw niyang maging romantically attached dito. O kaninuman.
Okay lang na mag-sex, pero sabay na kumain, hindi? Labo! Sundot ng mahadera niyang konsensiya.
She sighed. Naroon na iyong katotohanang hindi niya malabanan ang sexual attraction niya kay Lucky. Bumibigay talaga siya, pero nadiskubre niyang mas malakas siya kapag nagse-sex sila. Mas lamang man ito sa experience sa kanya pero pakiramdam niya ay may kakayahan siyang kontrolin ang sitwasyon kapag nagsi-sex sila. Hindi rin siya nagse-self pity o nagiging emotional. Mas nagiging confident nga siya. She didn’t feel rejected and ugly, but pursued and desired. The moment their bodies became one, she felt alive and powerful. Kabaliktaran ng nararamdaman niya kapag humupa na ang apoy sa katawan niya. Doon na bumabalik ang lahat ng galit at sama ng loob niya. Lucky triggered all of that in her, too. Kaya ayaw niyang makasama ito.
Simply having dinner with him disturbed her. Ayaw niyang mag-usap sila. Ayaw niyang magtanong ito ng kahit na ano sa kanya. Ayaw niyang mag-open up. Ayaw niya ng ganoong intimacy.
Tahimik sila habang lulan ng Maybach nito.
“Kate…” mahinang tawag nito sa kanya.
“Hmm?” sagot niyang hindi tumingin dito.
Saglit na katahimikan bago ito muling nagsalita.
“I’m sorry.”
Natigilan siya. “For what?”
Bumuntong-hininga ito. “For…for not being your best friend lately.”
Hindi siya umimik. Ito na nga ba ang sinasabi niya. Kapag sumama siya rito at nagkasarilinan sila, mauuwi sa ganitong conversation. She just wasn’t into it. Ayaw niyang pag-usapan ang mga bagay na masasakit. She needed a break from all that. Parang sasabog na ang dibdib niya sa magkakahalong emosyong dinadala niya lately.
“I realized that I’ve been so selfish. After what happened to you and Nico–”
“Please, Luck, I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“No, babe, please, hear me out. Just this once. Please?”
She sighed deeply. Medyo humarap ito nang pagkakaupo sa kanya, pero hindi niya ito nilingon.
“Nakalimutan kong mas kailangan mo pala ng kaibigan kasya ano pa man the past weeks. And I haven’t been there as your best friend when you needed me the most. I’ve become something else…and I’m so sorry for that.”
Naluluha na naman siya. Tama ba ang mga naririnig niya?
“Naiintindihan ko na kung bakit ka lumalayo sa akin. Hindi ko siguro naibibigay iyong kailangang-kailangan mo ngayon. Space. Peace of mind. Understanding. Instead, I put a lot of pressure on you. Pressure you didn’t need. I made things more complicated and difficult for you. Nakadagdag pa yata ako sa dinaramdam mo. Pero hindi ko sinasadya ’yon, angel. I just…After Punta del Sol…I kind of lost it. I just went plain crazy, babe, and I’m so sorry.”
Muling tumulo ang mga luha niya.
“Angel, please, forgive me.”
Oh God, she didn’t want serious talk, but this…she badly wanted to hear it from him, and now he was saying all the words she needed to hear from him. Parang biglang nagbalik iyong dating Lucky na nababasa kung ano ang nararamdaman niya kahit hindi siya nagsasalita.
“Can we… can we start over again, angel? Will you give me another chance to be your bestfriend again? Hindi ko na kasi kaya na ganito tayo. Hindi tayo nag-uusap. Iniiwasan mo ako. I feel like we’re drifting apart everyday. I feel like we’re no longer friends…”
“Luck…”
“Ayaw mo na ba akong maging bestfriend?” His voice was full of vulnerability. Devoid of pride.
Napahikbi siya.
“Kate…I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry–”
“Gusto.” Tumagilid siya nang upo at hinarap ito. “Gustong-gusto.”
He smiled, his eyes, emotional, and she was just so overwhelmed with emotions, but at the same time relieved. Parang may nabubunot na mga tinik sa dibdib niya. Parang may bigat na umangat mula sa mga balikat niya.
He reached out and wiped her tears with his fingers gently. “Don’t cry, angel. I promise…from now on, I’ll be your best friend more than anything else. No pressure. No questions. No expectations. I’ll just be here for you. Iyong katulad ng dati. Gusto kong bumalik tayo sa dati. Pwede pa ba, angel?”
She smiled, her heart overflowing with joy. Something she hadn’t felt in his presence in a while. She so missed this feeling. “Alam mong imposible na tayong bumalik pa sa dati. But we can start somewhere. On another level of friendship perhaps?”
He nodded repeatedly, his eyes shining. “That is all I ask. That is all, baby.”
He missed that look he was giving her, too. Solemn. Tender. Devoid of arrogance or anything. Just simply her knight. Her hero.
“Oh, Luck, I missed you.” Lumabas iyon sa kanyang bibig nang kusa.
Namasa ang mga mata nito. He was staring at her with searing intensity, but she didn’t feel threatened anymore. “I missed you, too, angel. More than you’ll ever know.”
And then she moving toward him. As though he knew exactly what she wanted, he helped her, hauling her from her seat, and settling her across his lap. She melted into his embrace. He cradled her tenderly, surrounding her with his warmth.
She sighed in utmost relief. God, she missed this. She so missed this.
KUMAIN SILA SA HOTEL DE ANGELO. Habang nasa daan pa lang sila ay nagpahanda na ng kakainin nila si Lucky, kaya’t pagdating nila sa hotel ay ready na ang dinner nila. Ginamit nila ang isa sa mga ballrooms ng hotel. Napakalawak niyon at sila lang ang tao. There was something so relaxing and cozy about all the space and vacant tables and chairs, o sadyang masaya lang ang pakiramdam niya ngayon.
Gutom na gutom siya, pero ang gaan-gaan na ng pakiramdam niya. Parang ang sarap-sarap ng kumain.
Giant lobsters ang ipinaluto ni Lucky na siyang paborito niya. Impatient siyang maghimay na gamit ang kubyertos kaya nagkamay na siya, na hindi niya dating ginagawa. Pagsayad ng malinamnam na laman ng lobster sa kanyang dila ay hindi niya napagilang mapaungol sa sarap.
Sunod-sunod ang subo niya ng kanin. Dati-rati ay conscious siya sa carbo intake niya para ma-maintain ang figure niya. Ngayon, wala siyang pakialam. Ang importante ay makakain siya at ma-satisfy ang cravings niya.
Buntis nga siya. Nothing short of another human growing inside her could ever make her feel this hungry. She was eating for two now. Paano na kaya pag lumobo na ang tiyan niya? Diyos ko po, baka maging balyena na siya sa laki. But looking at the lobsters on her plate, she didn’t care.
Nahuli niyang amused na nakatingin sa kanya si Lucky.
“Sex lang pala ang makakagutom sa ’yo nang husto eh. Dapat araw-arawin natin.”
She rolled her eyes. “Tigilan mo ako. No pressure.”
“Touche.” Natatawa itong nagpatuloy na kumain.
“Kumusta na ang project mo?” tanong nito.
Napatigil siya sa pagnguya. Sinalakay na naman siya ng guilt. Uminom siya ng tubig. “Uhm, Luck…ano…”
“What?”
“Actually, nakipag-meeting ako kay Aris kanina.” Medyo pigil ang hiningang hinintay niya ang reaksiyon nito.
Pero normal naman ang naging sagot nito. “Gano’n ba? Ano naman ang napag-usapan niyo?”
“Pumunta kami sa Greenbelt. Aris called me kasi about a vacant space in Greenbelt 5. Baka magustuhan ko raw. So, I went to see it with him this morning.”
Tumango-tango lang ito. “Tapos? Nagustuhan mo ba?”
“Maganda. Kaya lang super-taas ng rent. Kakayanin ko kaya? Meron din daw bakante sa High Street, pero hindi ko pa nakikita.”
“Hmm. Kung gusto mong samahan kita para tingnan ’yon, magsabi ka lang. Anytime.”
Nakahinga siya nang maluwag na hindi naman ito mukhang galit. Ngumiti siya. “Sige. Hindi ka ba busy sa work?”
“Busy, but not too busy for you, you know that.”
Nangingiti siyang nagpatuloy sa pagkain.
Nagkwentuhan sila, tulad ng dati. At namalayan niyang nagtatawanan na ulit sila.
Nang ihatid siya nito sa bahay nila later that night, hindi siya nito hinalikan sa mga labi bago umalis. Sa noo siya hinalikan. Tulad ng dati.
“Good night, angel. Sweet dreams.”
True to his word, no pressure.
That night, hindi siya tumunganga muna sa dilim at nag-isip nang kung anu-ano bago nakatulog. Paglapat ng kanyang ulo sa unan ay inagaw kaagad siya ng antok.
Nakatulog siyang may ngiti sa mga labi.
Chichika muna ako.
Kaya medyo kailangan ninyong maghintay (hindi naman ganoon katagal actually) ng UDs ko dito kay Lucky kasi di ba nagre-rewrite ako per chapter? Nagrere-arrange ako ng scenes, nagdadagdag ng scenes, nagla-line edit. Napansin ba ninyong well-edited ang trabaho ko? Walang wrong grammar o typos? Kung meron man kayong makita, kokonti lang. Ayokong gamitin iyong typical disclaimer dito sa Watty na “I don’t edit, expect errors,” kasi OC ako pagdating sa manuscripts ko. Ayokong bigyan kayo ng bara-barang trabaho. Ganoon ko kayo kamahal. Lucky is undergoing some evolution para magmukhang 2019 version, para may bagong mabasa ang mga nakabasa na 10 yrears ago at ma-excite din ang mga true blue Lothardicts ko na mahal na mahal ko, at ’yong mga bagong nakadiskubre ng Lothario ngayong 2019 (late na kayo haha) ay hindi naman magka-generation gap ang feeling pag nagbabasa. Kung writer kayo ay maiintindihan ninyo na hindi madali itong ginagawa ko, mga babies. Kaya huwag naman ako tatarayan sa mga comments ninyo. Ayokong gamitin ang mute button sa totoo lang. Gusto ko sana good vibes lang tayo dito. Chill lang. Mag-enjoy lang tayong lahat. Napakaraming love stories na pwedeng basahin dito sa Watty sa totoo lang, at nagpapasalamat ako na nandito kayo, pasilip-silip, naghihintay ng UDs, dahil gustong-gusto ninyo ’yung story. Alam ko naman ’yon, at sobrang grateful ako sa inyo. Honestly, thank you talaga. Kaya lang impatient ang ilan (marami actually, aminin na natin haha), gusto nariyan kaagad-agad. Kung vendo machine lang ako, siguradong express delivery per chapter, pero mag-isa lang ako, wala akong ghost writer at hindi ako nagpa-plagiarize ng mga linya galing sa ibang books para itapal sa story ko para mabilis akong makatapos. Sorry sa mga tinamaan. So, please, sana be patient. Gimme love na lang na siyang nagsusulat para sa inyo. Kung tatarayan ninyo ako, kawawa naman ako, puyat na, nirarayuma pa, gasgas pa utak para lang pasayahin kayo. O ayan, guilt tripping na si Grammy hahaha. Kidding aside, Binibilisan ko nga kasi marami pa akong susulatin. Pero iyong bilis ko, hindi pang Formula 1. Pero hindi naman siguro sobrang bagal, no! Anyways, maraming salamat sa pagbasa ng chika ko na may konting hanash hahaha. Ingat kayo ha. May lindol sa Mindanao. Iyong mga readers ko na tagaroon, my heart and prayers are always with you. Be safe, babies. I love you all.
Thank you for your encouragement and support, my readers.
Your votes and comments are very much appreciated.
I really love the song DRIVE. Iyan sa ibaba ang lyrics niya. Bagay na bagay sa malabong estado ng fuckship eheste friendship nina Kate and Lucky. Sound trip muna kayo. xoxo
Who’s gonna tell you when it’s too late Who’s gonna tell you things aren’t so great.
You can’t go on, thinkin’ nothing’s wrong, but bye Who’s gonna drive you home tonight?
Who’s gonna pick you up when you fall? Who’s gonna hang it up when you call?
Who’s gonna pay attention to your dreams? And who’s gonna plug their ears when you scream?
You can’t go on, thinkin’ nothing’s wrong, but bye Who’s gonna drive you home, tonight?
Who’s gonna hold you down when you shake? Who’s gonna come around when you break?
You can’t go on, thinkin’ nothin’s wrong, but bye Who’s gonna drive you home, tonight? Oh, you know you can’t go on, thinkin’ Nothin’s wrong
17
SOUNDTRACK
LOVE BITES by Def Leppard
THE SIGHT OF FRESH FLOWERS on her office table that morning perked up her mood. Lumapit si Kate sa mesa niya at inabot ang tarheta na nakasiksik sa mga pumpon ng mga light pink carnations, ang paborito niyang bulaklak. Napapangiti siya habang binabasa iyon. Ang nagpadala mismo ang sumulat ng note sa sarili nitong handwriting.
“You see beauty in these flowers, but you have no idea what I see in you. Far beyond beauty.”
Pinirmahan nito ng letrang L lang ang maiksing note. Ibig sabihin niyo’y hindi basta itinawag sa flower shop ang delivery ng mga bulaklak. Ito mismo ang nagpunta sa flower shop at umorder ng bulaklak.
Bumili na yata ng sariling flower shop nito si Lucky at halos every other day itong nagpapadala ng bulaklak sa kanya, kung hindi man sa office niya, sa bahay nila. On other days, he’d send her food, mga pagkaing galing sa iba’t ibang mga restaurants na malimit nilang kinakainan noon. But he’d never sent her chocolates and sweets. Hindi kasi siya mahilig niyon.
Nag-text siya kay Lucky. “Thanks for the flowers. They are beautiful. My office will look like a flower shop soon. Stop sending na.”
Agad namang sumagot ito. Maiksi lang. “Never.”
She smiled and gently touched the delicate petals of the carnations. Sa Beguet lang yata mayroong major carnation plantations kaya hindi palaging may supply niyon sa Manila. Si Lucky lang ang nakakaalam na carnations ang pinakapaborito niyang bulaklak. Nico had always sent her roses during the traditional occasions. Even her family and friends would send her all kinds of flowers. She didn’t like roses much, and yet she didn’t even tell Nico that for fear of offending him. She’d gushed and sent him messages teeming with gratitude and appreciation all those years.
Napailing siya sa naisip. Sa simpleng bulaklak lang pala ay hindi niya nagawang magpakatotoo kay Nico noon. Maliit na bagay ’yon kung tutuusin, pero pag naipon na, malaking bagay pala. No wonder na hindi rin ito nagpakatotoo sa kanya.
The past two weeks had been really easy and comfortable between her and Lucky. Katulad ng ipinangako nito, he totally backed off from his domineering ways. Hindi na ito demanding, hindi na palaging tumatawag o nagti-text anytime of the day.
Medyo naninibago nga rin siya sa iginagawi nito. Noong magbest-friends sila, alam na alam niya ang lahat ng activities nito dahil siya naman ang malimit na mangulit dito. Pero hindi na niya ginagawa iyon ngayon, and he’d stopped volunteering information about his daily activities, too. Kung tatawag man ito sa kanya, siguradong may importanteng sadya ito sa kanya, o kaya’y may lakad silang may kinalaman sa negosyo.
Kahit papaano ay mas gamaan na ang pakiramdam niya paggising sa umaga, hindi na parang binagsakan ng buong mundo ang mga balikat niya sa sobrang stress. Sumasama na rin kasi ang pakiramdam niya sa umaga at malimit siyang nagduduwal, halos walang maipasok na almusal sa tiyan. Alam niyang sintomas na iyon ng pagbubuntis niya kaya ingat na ingat siyang huwag makahalata ang mga magulang at mga kasambahay nila.
Alam niyang malapit ng mahalata ang kalagayan niya. Hindi niya maitatago iyon sa paglipas ng mga araw. Lalaki ang tiyan niya. Tataba siya. Still, natatakot siyang isipin ang mga mangyayari sa hinaharap. She had a month or two to decide before her baby bump started really showing. Tatapusin na muna niya ang mga trabahong dapat niyang tapusin sa ngayon, lalo na ang expansion ng negosyo niya, saka haharapin niya ang crossroad na iyon sa buhay niya.
One day at a time.
Naupo siya sa kanyang swivel chair at nagsimulang magtrabaho. Last week ay nakapili na siya sa wakas kung saan itatayo ang bagong branch ng boutique niya. She went for High Street. Sinamahan siya ni Lucky para mag-ikot doon at may nakita silang bakanteng store space sa isang commercial building na nagkataong pag-aari ng kaibigan ni Lucky. Agad nitong tinawagan ang kaibigan, at nang araw ding iyon ay na-close nila ang deal sa napakaresonableng halaga. Excited na siyang simulan ang construction ng kanyang bagong boutique. Sabi ni Aris ay kaya nitong tapusin within one month ang project.
Mabuti na lang at may pinagkakaabalahan siyang negosyo, kundi nauwi siguro siya sa depression sa mga pangyayari sa buhay niya.
NAGMUMURA NA SI ALEXIS habang naghahabulan sila sa bola na mabilis na gumugulong sa damuhan. Lucky knew Alexis’ team needed to score badly.
“Losing it, man?” pang-aasar niya rito.
“In your dreams, Luck!” Hinampas nito ang bola ngunit mabilis iyong na-intercept ni Russel bago pa man makarating sa goal.
“Shit!” malutong na mura ni Alexis. Tinawanan niya ito.
Tumunog ang pito ng umpire. Halftime. Kinse-minutos ang break na iyon bago magpatuloy ang laro. May tatlong chukkas pang nalalabi. Abante ng team nina Alexis ng one point. Madali ng habulin ’yon.
“Damn, dapat nandito si Nico, eh!” inis na himutok ni Alexis, hinubad ang helmet. Ilang tournaments na rin ang na-miss ni Nico.
“Oo nga, medyo ninenerbiyos pa si Chad,” sabi ni Marco na nasa malapit dito.
Si Chad Santos and pansamantalang back-up Forward ng team nina Alexis. Rookie pa ito pero magaling, kaya lang ay medyo kulang pa sa killer instinct.
Frustrated na ang grupo ni Alexis. Natalo ang team nito sa nakaraang Forbes Cup dahil wala si Nico. Hindi ito nakalaro sa championship match.
Lucky wasn’t looking forward to having Nico back in the field, kahit alam niyang napilayan nang husto ang team ni Alexis dahil sa absence nito. May kapal ng mukha pa bang ihaharap sa kanya ang gagong ’yon pagkatapos ng ginawa nito kay Kate? Oo nga at tinapos nito ang relasyon nito kay Kate, pero sa mismong araw ng kasal? Hanggang ngayon ay nanggigigil pa siya sa galit dito.
“Mukhang hindi rin sisipot ’yon sa President’s Cup,” patuloy na himutok ni Alexis.
Nakita niyang bahagyang sinipa ni Marco ang paa ni Alexis para tumahimik ito, sabay tingin sa direksiyon niyang nasa malapit lang sa mga ito.
“Sorry, pare,” ani Alexis, alanganing ngumiti.
Nagkibit-balikat lang siya. “When he does show up, make sure he doesn’t come near me. Baka gayahin ko ’yang style mong maglaro. Pasensiyahan na lang tayo.”
Nahilaw si Alexis, napakamot sa batok. “Pare naman…”
He jabbed his pony’s side with his spurs and rode toward his team’s shed.
IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL Sunday for a Polo match pero hindi mapalagay sa kinauupuan si Kate.
Her friends invited her to watch today’s match. Gusto sana niyang tumanggi pero hindi siya tinigilan ng mga ito. They assured her that Nico wouldn’t be playing at si Chad Santos na pinsan ni Lara ang pansamantalang humalili sa pwesto nito. Hindi na siya nakatanggi.
Pasimple siyang nagmamatyag sa paligid. It was her first time to attend a Polo match after the “scandal”. Hindi pa rin siya komportableng nagpupunta sa mga lugar na madalas puntahan ni Nico, but she refused to be cowered anymore. Hindi siya ang dapat umiwas dito o mahiyang magpakita sa publiko. Wala siyang kasalanan. Ito ang dapat na lumayas ng Pilipinas, hayop siya!
Look who’s talking. Ikaw, malapit ka na ring husgahan ng lipunan. Maghanda-handa ka na ng depensa, o kaya’y lumayas ka na lang din kaya ng Pilipinas? How can you possibly explain without losing your dignity that the baby growing in your belly is not fathered by your ex-fiance whom you were supposed to marry? How come na lumobo ang tiyan mo just a few months after your break-up? Sino ang tatay? Ahh, yung BFF mo. ’Yong palagi mong kasama kahit kayo pa ni Nico. Iisipin nilang you were screwing him behind Nico’s back kaya nag-back out ito sa kasal ninyo. ’Di ba, that’s the most plausible explanation? Maliban na lang kung magpa-interview ka to set the record straight. Pero ano naman ang sasabihin mo sa interview? That it was a rebound fuck that happened on the night of your supposed honeymoon? Ikaw na naturingang super conservative, nauwi sa rebound fuck. Bravo! Clap clap clap!
I don’t need to explain myself to anybody!
But people will still talk. They will speculate. They will judge you. Even your closest friends will judge you. Just try telling them now and see.
Napainom siya ng tubig mula sa hawak niyang bote ng Evian. Napakalupit ng konsensiya niya. Kahit saan ay inuusig siya.
“Are you all right, Kate?” tanong ni Karen sa tabi niya.
“Huh? Yeah…yeah…”
“Parang ang lalim ng iniisip natin.”
“Wala. May naalala lang ako sa trabaho.”
“Mag-relax ka nga diyan. It’s weekend. Forget work muna, girl. Let’s chill. Oh, my God, guys, si Lucky, o, papunta rito.”
Natatarantang inayos ni Karen ang buhok at damit. Para itong teenager na nagba-blush.
“Wala ka namang napapala sa pagpapa-cute mo sa kanya,” pang-aasar ni Nessa rito.
Karen shot Nessa an annoyed look. “Huwag mo akong i-bad vibes ngayon. Malay mo, today is the day I get Lucky.”
Nessa rolled her eyes and snickered, “Duh, kay Kate naman siya palaging nakatingin—”
Kate kicked Nessa’s leg under the table. Nandilat ang mga mata nitong napalingon sa kanya. She threw her friend a warning look.
“What did you say, Nessa?” Karen batted her lashes at Nessa challengingly.
Nessa gave Karen a sheepish smile. “Wala, girl. I-push mo pa ’yan. Itodo mo na kasi ang kalandian. Nagpapa-demure ka pa kasi, hindi naman bagay sa ’yo. Hindi ikaw ’yan. Magpakatotoo ka.”
“Ang harsh mo today, nakakaasar ka na—”
“Shh, andiyan na siya,” saway ni Lara sa dalawa.
“Hey, ladies,” bati ni Lucky sa kanila.
He looked dashing and so masculine in his black jersey uniform. The fabric clung to his body perfectly, defining his magnificent physique. His knee-guards and tight, white pants molded his long, muscled legs, making him look taller than his already towering height.
As usual, her friends ogled him like a delectable food.
“Hi, Luck!” malapad ang ngiting bati ni Karen dito.
“Hey, Karenina. Looking great, as usual,” malambing na ganting-bati nito.
Halos mamilipit na sa kilig si Karen. “I’m not really into my name, but you make it sound like I’m the luckiest girl in the world. Karenina me anytime.”
Napaubo si Nessa.
Ngumiti lang si Lucky kay Karen. He leaned on his hands on the white picket fence barricading the spectators from the Polo field. “How do you find the match so far, ladies?” tanong nito kina Lara at Nessa.
“Leading na ang kalaban, Luck,” singit ni ni Karen na ayaw mawala sa eksena.
“Pinakakagat ko lang si Alexis. Don’t worry, the last three chukkas are ours.”
“Sorry, pero kampi ako sa team nina Alex,” sabi naman ni Lara. “Siyempre, I have to root for my cuz.”
“Traitor! Lumipat ka doon sa kabilang cheering squad,” ani Karen na itinuro ang mga babaing kampi sa team nina Alexis. Marami-rami ang mga ito.
Lumabi si Lara. “Kayo naman, alam niyo namang kulang talaga ang power ng team nila ngayon. Wala kasi si Nico, and my cousin is just a rookie.”
Natahimik sila sa sinabi ni Lara. Napayuko si Kate nang pumako sa kanya ang tingin ng mga ito.
Tumikhim si Karen, pagkuwa’y tumayo at hinila sina Lara at Nessa. “Come on, girls, samahan niyo ako sa restroom. Pinandilatan nito ang dalawa kaya sumunod ang mga ito.
“You okay?” tanong ni Lucky nang makalayo ang mga kaibigan niya.
Umangat ang tingin niya mula sa mga kamay. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
“I’m glad na nandito ka,” he said softly.
He was looking at her with a mixture of tenderness and longing. Naramdaman niyang nagba-blush siya. Ngumiti siya. “Me, too.”
“Pagkatapos ng laro, kung wala kayong ibang plano, kain tayo ng barkada mo diyan sa Cogon Village. I-treat ko kayo.” Cogon Village was an al fresco restaurant within the club.
Siguradong mangingisay sa tuwa si Karen. “Are you sure? Makukulit ang mga ’yon.”
“I want to get to know your friends more. Come to think of it, tayo lang ang close. Sila, hindi ko masyadong kilala. Time to change that, don’t you think?”
Himala. Dati ay wala itong tiyagang makipagkwentuhan nang matagal sa mga kabarkada niya. Several times, he even told her that he found them superficial. Dinipensahan naman niya ang mga kaibigan at sinabing akala lang nito ’yon. Pero ngayon, gusto na nitong maki-hang-out sa kanila. Ano’ng meron?
At bakit parang may parte sa kalooban niyang tumututol na maging malapit ito sa mga kaibigan niya, lalo na kay Karen? She quashed the selfish thought right away. Ang petty niya.
“Okay, hihintayin ka na lang namin sa restaurant mamaya.”
“Great.”
He continued to stare at her. She knew exactly when his gaze changed from tender to lustful. Bilang reaksiyon, umakyat din ang temperatura ng katawan niya.
Tumunog ang bell ng umpire, hudyat na magpapatuloy na ang laro. Lucky leaned over and reached out to touch her cheek lightly. “I’ll win this one for you, babe.”
Then he walked away and went back to his team’s tent. She expelled a relieved breath. Goodness, nasa publiko sila pero nagkakaganoon siya.
Maya-maya’y bumalik na ang mga kaibigan niya.
“Guys, i-treat daw tayo ni Lucky mamaya diyan sa Cogon Village after the game,” pagbabalita niya sa mga ito.
Halos mapalundag sa tuwa si Karen. “Talaga, girl?! Ayieeeee!”
“Sus, tuwang-tuwa, hindi naman siya ang inimbita,” ani Lara na napa-roll eyes. Nagtawanan ito at si Nessa.
Sumimanagot si Karen. “Bakit ba ang kontrabida niyong dalawa sa love life ko?”
“Love life daw, o. Masyado kang advanced mag-isip, girl. Ni hindi pa nga aware ’yong tao na may love life pala kayo. Ipa-confirm mo muna bago mag-assume,” pang-aasar lalo ni Nessa.
“Sumosobra na kayong dalawa, ha. Hindi na lang kasi kayo sumakay, nakakainis!”
“Hayaan mo na kasi sa ilusiyon niya. Matatauhan din ’yan at mamumulat sa katotohanang hindi sa kanya nakatingin si Lucky,” si Lara.
Namaywang si Karen. “At kanino siya nakatingin, aber?”
“Sa kaliwa, sa kanan, sa langit, sa lupa, sa mga horses, sa green grass, sa lahat! Maliban sa ’yo,” sarkastikong sagot ni Nessa.
Hinila ni Karen ang mahabang buhok ni Nessa.
“Ouch! My extensions!” protesta ni Nessa.
“Ay, sorry! Ilusyon lang din pala ang perfect hair mo. Pero parang totoo. Bagay na bagay sa ’yo ang fake Brigitte Bardot hair mo.”
“Oo na! Kayo na ni Lucky. Bagay na bagay kayo! Magiging kayo kappily ever after!”
“Ganyan, maging supportive ka sa kabaliwan ng mga BFFs mo.”
“Excuse me, ikaw lang ang baliw,” ani Lara.
Maya-maya pa’y parang mga batang nagtatawanan na ang mga kaibigan niya. Ganoon maglambingan ang mga ito, palaging nag-aasaran. Siya nga lang ang seryoso sa kanilang lahat. Siya ang tahimik sa grupo nila, ang listener, ang hindi nagdadrama. Kaya wala masyadong alam ang mga ito sa mga nangyayari sa kanya. She used to have Lucky kasi para sa mga kadramahan niya. Mas kilala pa siya ni Lucky kaysa mga girl friends niya.
Maya-maya’y tumabi sa kanya si Lara. “Katey, sorry, ha.”
“For what?”
“You know…me and my big mouth. I know na masakit pa rin sa ’yo ang mga nangyari…”
Ngumiti siya, pinisil ang kamay nito. “It’s okay. Wala ’yon. Dapat na rin akong masanay. Alangan namang parang Voldemort na he who must not be named. Ang corny. We move in the same circles. Life goes on, you know?”
Tumango-tango si Lara. “Yeah.”
Bumalik ang mga mata ni Kate sa center field. She wouldn’t allow the ugly thoughts of Nico to dampen her mood today.
18
JUST LIKE HE’D PROMISED, Lucky won the match for her.
And contrary to what Kate was expecting, mukhang nag-enjoy nang husto si Lucky sa pakikipagbidahan sa mga friends niya habang kumakain sila sa restaurant. Aliw na aliw ito habang nakikinig sa pag-aasaran ng tatlo.
Napansin din niyang mas binibigyan na nito ng atensiyon si Karen. Dati ay hantaran nitong nire-reject kapag inirereto niya si Karen dito. Ngayon ay mataman itong nakikinig kapag si Karen ang nagsasalita.
Pilit niyang nilalabanan ang negatibong nararamdaman. Hindi ba siya ang may gusto na maging laidback ulit si Lucky? Pwes, heto na, cool na cool ito. Hindi ito gumagawa ng paraan na mapagsolo silang dalawa at mag-demand ito ng panahon at atensiyon niya. Instead, he sought the company of her with her friends.
Dapat ay matuwa siya. Natutuwa naman siya, pero…Iba kasi noong hinahabol ito ni Karen pero hindi nito pinapansin. Ngayon ay pinapansin na nito si Karen. At iba na ang nararamdaman niya. Hindi lang siya naiinis. May nararamdaman na siyang…insecurity. Iyong parang may naaagaw sa kanya. Marahil ay atensiyon. Hindi siya sanay na nahahati ang atensiyon ni Lucky sa kanya. Ngayon ay halos hindi sila magkapalitan ng salita o tingin. Nasa mga kaibigan niya ang lahat ang atensiyon nito.
Kaya naman nang pauwi na sila, nagyabang na si Karen.
“O ha, huwag niyong sabihing nag-iilusyon lang ako ngayon. Nakita niyo with your own eyes, Lucky was so sweet and attentive to me.”
Umismid si Nessa. “Medyo lang. Hindi pa ako convinced. Sweet at attentive din siya sa akin, eh.”
“Sa akin din,” si Lara. “He was laughing at my jokes the entire time.”
Sabay na tumingin ang mga ito sa kanya.
“Ano sa tingin mo, Kate? Maniniwala na ba kami na may basis na ang pag-iilusyon ng isa diyan?” si Lara.
“Bakit ako ang tinatanong niyo?” iwas niya.
“Eh, kasi ikaw ang BFF ni Lucky, siyempre mas alam mo ang body language niya,” sabi ni Nessa.
“Uhm…I don’t know…”
“Girl, bigyan mo naman ng konting hope si Anna Karenina na makatuluyan si Alexie Vronsky niya at baka magpasagasa na ’yan sa MRT,” natatawang kantiyaw ni Nessa.
“I don’t ride the MRT,” si Karen.
“At sineryoso talaga ang figure of speech. O siya, since feeling New Yorker ka, subway na lang na mabantot.”
Naghihintay ang mga ito sa komento niya.
Kate wanted to choose her words, but she ran her mouth. “I don’t know. Maybe… All I know is hindi siya sweet sa akin kanina. Super bland nga siya sa akin. Sa inyo lang siya sweet.” Nagkibit-balikat siya. “Okay lang. Bahala siya. So, Karenina…” Pinilit niyang ngumiti kay Karen pero hindi niya mapeke ang nararamdaman. “Huwag kang magpasagasa sa train, ha? Lalaki lang ’yan. No man is worth your precious life.”
Napatanga sa kanya ang tatlo. Shit. Did she sound like a bitter, jealous bitch?
“Hala, sineryoso din?” narinig niyang bulong ni Nessa kay Lara.
“Okay, bye!” Dali-daling tinungo niya ang kanyang kotse, nag-iinit ang mga tainga sa hiya. Nakaabang na sa kanya si Jojo.
“Girl! Okay ka lang?” tawag sa kanya ni Karen.
“Okay na okay! Bye!”
“Bye, girl! See you soon!” si Lara.
“We love you!” sigaw ni Nessa
LULAN NG SASAKYAN niya pauwi, parang nahahapong isinandal ni Kate ang ulo sa backrest ng sedan.
She checked her phone. Walang message galing kay Lucky. Not that she wanted him to send her a message or anything. Pero dati kasi, pag naghiwalay sila sa kung anumang lakad nila, magte-text kaagad ito, magpapasalamat sa kanya for the great time they spent together. O tatawag ito para siguruhing nakauwi na siya sa bahay nila.
Ni hindi nga siya inihatid sa parking lot kanina. Nagpaiwan ito sa Polo Club, at nakipag-inuman sa mga barkada nito sa Willow Root. Not that she couldn’t manage to bring herself to her car. Kasama naman niya ang mga kaibigan niya. Nasanay lang kasi siyang napaka-protective nito sa kanya noon.
Yamot na muli niyang isinilid ang cellphone sa kanyang bag at pumikit. She tried to blot the past two hours from her mind, how Lucky had enjoyed the company of her friends without engaging her the whole time. Not that she was talking much. Tahimik lang siya dahil hindi naman siya makasingit sa kadaldalan ng mga kaibigan niya. But the fact that she saw firsthand how Lucky could actually enjoy the company of other women aside from her, it was a rather rude awakening for her.
For the longest time, she’d been looking at Lucky from the eyes of a person who thought she was the most important woman in his life, save for that woman he’d eventually marry. She was arrogant in the fact that it was her whom Lucky had always sought if he wanted meaningful and fun conversation. But he could actually enjoy Karen’s company. For real.
She sighed harshly. “Get over it, over it, over it!” Paulit-ulit niyang sambit sa sarili hanggang makarating siya sa kanilang bahay.
Hindi tumawag si Lucky sa kanya para alamin kung nakauwi na siya.
She was more upset about it than she’d like to admit.
“NARITO NA PO KAMI SA MANSIYON, Sir Luck. Opo, mukhang okay naman si Ma’am Kate.”
“Okay, Jo. Thank you. Bye.”
Bumalik si Lucky sa grupo ng mga barkada niya. Nagkakaingayan ang mga ito sa Willow Root. Ang team nila Alexis ang taya sa inuman dahil natalo ang mga ito. Aabutin na naman sila hanggang closing time dito sa Polo Club. It was just as well, kaysa naman umuwi siya nang maaga sa penthouse niya. Hindi naman kaagad siya makakatulog. Mag-iisip lang siya, tititig sa kawalan. Wala naman siyang makausap.
Nagkasya na siya kanina na makasama si Kate kahit naroon ang mga kaibigan nito. Nag-ingat siyang hindi masyadong makaagaw sa panahon nito mula sa mga kaibigan nito. He was thankful na pumayag itong makasama siya nang mas matagal ngayong araw. Alam niyang hindi naman ito kusang papayag kung silang dalawa lang ang kakain together, kaya niyaya niya pati ang mga kaibigan nito. Maiilang itong magtagal sa Polo Club kung silang dalawa lang, and he wanted so much for her to stay longer with him.
Ayaw na niyang istorbohin si Kate sa gabi tulad ng dati. Wala naman silang mapag-uusapan kung hindi siya magtatanong dito. Napapagod na siyang magtanong. Demanding for her to open up to him left a bitter taste in his mouth. Kung may gusto itong ibahagi sa kanya, hihintayin na lamang niya itong kusang tumawag sa kanya tulad ng ginagawa nito dati. Narito lang naman siya para dito.
He would give her the space she needed. Kahit napakahirap na dumistansiya rito, tutuparin niya ang ipinangako niya.
It was already getting unbearable. The loneliness. The longing. It was slowly killing him.
Tinabihan siya ni Alexis. “Luck, dumalaw ka naman sa Lothario. Miss na kita do’n.”
“Ang corny mo, bro,” aniya rito. “Lagi naman tayong nagkikita. Halos buong araw ngang pagmumukha mo ang nakikita ko ngayon.”
“Iba naman ’yong happenings natin sa club pare. Alam no na…iba ’yon.”
Bumuntong-hininga siya. “Pass na ako sa mga gano’n, pare.”
“What do you mean?” Hininaan nito ang boses. “Igi-give up mo na ba ’yong suite mo? Halos two months mo ng hindi nagagamit.”
Nagkibit-balikat siya. “Yeah.”
Alexis looked incredulous. “Anak ng…!”
Bigla siyang hinila nito sa braso patayo. “Halika nga rito.”
Lumayo sila sa grupo. “Seryoso ka?!”
Nagkibit-balikat ulit siya. “Yeah.”
Tinitigan siya ni Alexis, napapailing. “Is she worth it, man?”
Natawa siya nang hilaw. “Funny, but it’s not her, man. It’s me.”
“Explain. I have to understand, pare. Hindi ko basta ibibigay sa iba ang slot mo nang walang covincing na dahilan.”
Ilang segundo siyang natahimik.
“I just can’t make myself touch another woman, pare. After her…I just can’t anymore.”
“Aaaah. So, you’re fuck—”
“Watch your mouth,” babala niya rito. Ayaw niyang pinag-uusapan nila si Kate na parang isang geisha lang ito.
“So, you’re uhh, doing it with her. Okay, okay, I get that. So, kayo na?”
Umiling siya. “No.”
Napatanga ito sa kanya. “Pare, si Kate ’yan. Lagot ka kay DL.”
“Isumbong mo nga ako kay DL para i-shotgun wedding kami.”
Nalaglag ang baba nito.
Natawang napailing siya. “I can’t believe I said that. Fuck. “
“Okay, backtrack tayo. Nalalabuan ako sa explanation mo.”
He sighed again. “Kate just wants sex with no strings. Ayaw niyang pakasalan ko siya. Niyaya ko na siya, ayaw niya.”
“Oh, wow…” Alexis was speechless.
Tumango-tango siya. “Yeah. Ironic isn’t it? Sa sobrang paglalaro ko, ako naman ngayon ang nilalaro lang. Ingat ka sa karma, X. Totoo pala ’yon.”
“’Tamo ’to, idinamay pa ako. Ano nama’ng kinalaman ko sa problema mo kay Kate?”
“Balang araw, makakatagpo ka rin ng katapat mo. Pag nangyari ’yon, remember this conversation.”
Alexis grunted. “Ang layo pa no’n, pare.”
Natahimik sila pareho.
“So, hindi na talaga magbabago ang isip mo, pare?” malungkot na tanong nito maya-maya.
“Hindi na. Ibigay mo na sa iba ang slot ko.”
“Ang aga mo namang nag-retire sa Lothario, pare. Andami ko pa sanang ireregalong geisha sa ’yo. Hindi mo man lang nilaspag ’yong kama mo do’n. Bagong-bago pa.”
“Ipamana mo na sa iba.”
“Fuck…naiiyak ako, pare. Seryoso.”
Natawa siya. “Ulul! May 99 members ka pa.”
“Walang makakapalit sa ’yo, pare. Founding member ka.”
Nagseryoso siya nang makitang seryoso ito. Naramdaman na niya ang lungkot sa naging desisyon. “Maraming salamat, pare. I feel honored to have been a part of Lothario. Andami nating pinagsamahan sa club, pero ganyan ang buhay. Alam naman nating darating ang araw na ito. I’d still be in the brotherhood, you know? Just no longer in the club.”
Malungkot na tumango-tango ito. “I know, man. I know.”
Nagyakap sila, nagtapikan ng mga balikat.
Damn, he was going to miss their interactions at Lothario, too. Iyong masasayang conversations nilang magbabarkada. Iyong mga kalokohan nila. He’d had so much fun there with his friends. Pero ang chapter na iyon ng buhay niya ay tapos na.
“Tara, tagay tayo,” yaya ni Alexis sa kanya.
Bumalik sila ulit sa grupo at nakipag-inuman.
19
HINDI MAPALAGAY SI KATE. Five days na mula nang huli silang magkita ni Lucky sa Polo Club. Five days na rin itong hindi tumatawag sa kanya, at once a day lang kung mag-text. Ang laman ng mga texts nito ay napaka-casual pa. Wala na iyong dating lambing at intimacy, walang possessiveness. Mga ordinaryong messages lang ang ipinapadala nito.
I hope you’re having a good day.
Have a great day.
Have a productive day today.
All generic and impersonal messages. Hindi naman ito ganoon mag-text sa kanya dati.
Pero may bouquet of flowers na dumating sa opisina niya kaninang umaga. Wala nga lang note. Pero alam niyang galing kay Lucky ’yon. Tinamad ng magsulat ng note?
Pilit niyang nilalabanan ang disappointment na nararamdaman. Eh, ano kung hindi ito tumawag sa kanya para kumustahin siya? So what kung wala itong sweet messages na ipinapadala tulad ng dati? Hihinto ba ang mundo niya kung mawala lahat iyon?
Pero niloloko lang niya ang sarili. Ang totoo, affected siya. Kahit naman noong simpleng mag-BFF lang sila ay sweet na sweet ito sa kanya. Napakalambing. Napaka-protective. Pakiramdam niya’y isa siyang prinsesang inaalagaan nito. Iniingatan. Pero ngayon, ang lamig na nito sa kanya. Oo nga’t may flowers, pero… iba pa rin ’yong tatawag ito sa kanya para kumustahin siya.
Ay, ewan ba niya? Bakit ba siya apektado nang ganito kung tumahimik man ’yong tao? Malamang na busy rin ito. Kung tutuusin, mas marami itong trabaho at responsibilidad kaysa kanya. Lucky headed a hotel chain all over Asia and was responsible for thousands of employees. At wala siyang karapatang mag-demand o mag-expect ng oras at atensiyon nito. Siya ang may gustong ganito sila. She wanted to be left alone.
She made her bed. She should lie in it.
Pilit siyang nag-focus sa trabaho. Pero pasulyap-sulyap siya buong araw sa cellphone niya. Bawat message na dumating ay dali-dali niyang binabasa. Deep inside, inaasam niyang galing kay Lucky ang mga iyon. Pero galing lang naman sa mga kaibigan niya. Kapag may tumatawag sa cellphone niya, lumulundag ang puso niya, hoping it was Lucky, pero hindi naman. Either mga kaibigan niya o mga business associates.
Napabuntong-hininga siya nang malalim. Hindi na niya maintindihan ang sarili. She wanted space, but she now realized, not this much space na parang tuluyan na rin itong nanlamig pati sa pagkakaibigan nila.
Tumayo siya at lumabas ng kanyang opisina, naglakad-lakad sa kahabaan ng kanyang boutique. Kinawayan niya si Aina na nasa kabilang panig ng store, kinakausap ang isa sa mga sales ladies nila. Lima ang empleyado niya rito sa shop, pang-anim si Aina.
Biglang tumunog ang hawak niyang cellphone. Napalundag na naman ang puso niya, pero si Aris ang tumatawag. Sinagot niya iyon.
“Hello, Aris?”
“Hey, Kate. I have mobilized everything. We’re all set to start construction.”
Natuwa naman siya sa ibinalita nito. “Wow, ang bilis ah.”
“Isang buwan, tapos ito, I promise.”
“Hindi ko ma-imagine paano mo gagawin ’yon. My Rockwell shop took two months to finish, eh mas maliit ito.”
“We do things by western standards. I want to implement the same level of efficiency here in the country. Our company hires people with special skills for each job. Lahat compartmentalized ang trabaho, lahat contracted, kaya mabilis. Ayaw ng mga contractors na malugi sa oras kaya talagang sisikapin nilang masunod ang deadlines nila.”
“Great! I’m so excited, Aris!”
“Can we meet today? I just want you to approve everything para tuloy-tuloy na. May mga documents kang pipirmahan. SOP lang ng kompanya.”
“Of course.”
“When are you free?”
“Anytime today, I’m free.”
“Mga 3 PM?”
“Sure.”
Nagkasundo sila kung saan sila magkikita. Nang matapos ang pag-uusap nila ni Aris, ilang minuto siyang hindi maka-decide kung ano ang gagawin. Nagtatalo ang utak niya.
Tawagan mo na. May excuse ka na man why you’re calling.
Ayoko nga. Baka isipin nitong sabik na sabik akong makita siya.
Totoo naman, ’di ba? Kunwari ka pa.
Oo na. Aaminin na niya. Nami-miss niya si Lucky. Nami-miss niya ang boses nito. She missed his smiling face looking at her tenderly. She missed the security of his presence, the confidence in the fact that he’d come running to her with just a phone call. Kapag tinawagan kaya niya ito ngayon ay darating ito?
Kaya nga tawagan mo para malaman mo kung darating, baliw.
Naiiling siya sa mga iniisip. Tuliro siya kapag si Lucky ang laman ng utak niya. May malaking unresolved issue sila na hindi pa niya kayang desisyunan sa ngayon. Pero mas nangingibabaw na iyong nararamdaman niyang pangungulila rito.
Bago pa man umiral ang pride niya, she called him up.
Ilang rings ang lumipas. Walang sumagot sa kabilang linya. Dumeretso sa voice mail ang tawag niya. Nanlumo siyang napatitig sa screen ng kanyang cellphone. First time yatang hindi nito tinanggap ang tawag niya. Ganoon na ba ito ka-busy ngayon?
Nag-init ang sulok ng kanyang mga mata. Hindi! Hindi siya dapat makaramdam nang ganito. Hindi naman niya hawak ang oras nito. Baka out of town lang ito. Baka nasa Subic. He was building an expansion of his hotel there. Ni hindi man lang niya naitatanong dito kung ano na ang nangyayari sa buhay nito.
Doon niya na-realize, she’d been so wrapped up in her own heartbreak that she became totally oblivious to the people around her. Especially the ones who cared about her. Her family.
Lucky.
Muli siyang napabuntong-hininga. Naalala niya ang malimit na sabihin ni Lucky sa kanya noon.
“I’m never too busy for you. Tawag ka lang, darating ako.”
Sa bawat tawag niya noon, dumarating ito. Walang palya. Lahat ng tawag niya ay agad nitong sinasagot. She’d taken all that for granted. Kampante kasi siyang nariyan lang naman ito.
Pero ngayong hindi nito nasagot ang tawag niya, intensiyonal man o hindi, masakit pala.
Parang pinipiga ang dibdib niya. Ang sakit ng lalamunan niya. Gusto niyang umiyak. Nagsawa na nga yata ito sa kanya. Napagod na.
Tumunog ang kanyang cellphone.
Napasinghap siya. Ringtone ni Lucky!
Sa pagmamadali niyang damputin ang cellphone, nalaglag iyon mula sa mesa, tumalbog sa granitong sahig. Damn, nabasag yata?! Agad niyang dinampot iyon. Hindi naman nabasag. Pinindot niya ang call-receive, pero huminto na ang tawag.
“Shit!” malutong siyang napamura.
Magre-return call na sana siya nang muling tumunog ang cellephone.
“Hello?”
“Hey. Tumawag ka?”
Parang musika sa pandinig niya ang boses nito. God, how she’d missed his voice.
Naramdaman niya ang agad na pag-iinit ng kanyang katawan nang marinig ang baritonong boses nito. Her body’s reaction was swift and she couldn’t stop it even if her life depended on it. Her nipples unfurled and swelled behind her bra. Her lower belly fluttered. Between her legs, she started to throb. She crossed her legs in reflex.
“Kate…? You there?”
“H-hi, Luck. Ano kasi…tumawag si Aris.”
There was a pause.
“And?”
“Humingi ng last minute meeting bago mag-start ang construction.”
“And?”
Nakagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi. Normally, he would readily offer to go with her, pero hindi ngayon. Malamig nga ang tono nito. Hindi interisado.
Gusto na niyang putulin ang tawag. Kung ayaw nito eh di huwag!
“Ahm, pwede mo ba akong samahan? If…If hindi ka masyadong busy. Pero kung busy ka naman, okay kang. Kaya ko naman–”
“Yes.”
“Huh?”
“Yes, I’ll go with you. Anong oras ang meeting?”
“Mamayang 3 PM sa office niya.”
“Okay. Nandito ako ngayon sa Subic.”
“Ay, ang layo mo pala. Huwag na lang kaya–”
“I’ll be there before three. Magpapasundo ako sa chopper. Susunduin kita sa office mo.”
“Okay…”
“Kumain ka na ba?”
Napangiti siya. “Maya-maya, kakain ako diyan sa mall.”
“I wish, sabay tayo.”
Lumapad ang ngiti niya. “Uhm, dinner na lang tayo mamaya?” Lumabas iyon sa kanyang bibig, hindi napigilan ang sarili.
“I’d love that, angel.”
Angel. Tinawag ulit siyang angel. “Okay, see you later.”
“Yeah, later.”
Gusto niyang gumulong na parang pusa sa sahig nang matapos ang pag-uusap nila. Ang gaan-gaan na ng pakiramdam niya. Lilipad yata siya.
Her insides tingled with anticipation. It had been more than a week since they’d last been sexually intimate. Palagi niyang naiisip ang mga nangyari sa kanila. And every time she did, her body would come alive and throb with longing. Lucky had been nothing but the most generous and skillful lover. He was very dominant in bed, but he always made sure she got pleasured first before he took his own.
Aminin mo na, nami-miss mo ’yon. Iyong pagkasarap-sarap na ’yon.
Nag-blush siya. Her thoughts were shameless!
She was craving for sex with him. Habang lumilipas ang mga araw, sumisidhi iyon. Hindi niya mapigil. And just the thought of him touching her again, entering her with his big, hard…
Gosh! Stop!
Pero iyon ang katotohanang hindi niya maitatanggi sa sarili.
DUMATING SI LUCKY SA OPISINA niya ng bandang two-thirty nang hapon. Sumikdo ang puso niya pagkakita rito. He was in a tailored navy blue suit, looking every inch like the CEO that he was. Bakit mas gwapo yata ito sa paningin niya ngayon? Dahil ba na-miss niya ito?
“Hey,” simpleng bati nito sa kanya at dinampian siya ng halik sa pisngi. She wished he’d kissed her on the lips like he did weeks ago. Possessive. Aggressive. As usual, ang bango nito. Gusto niyang ilapit ang ilong sa leeg nito at langhapin nang malalim ang cologne sa katawan nito.
Control yourself, my goodness!
Dinampot niya ang kanyang bag mula sa mesa. “Tayo na? Baka ma-late tayo sa meeting. Ma-traffic pa naman sa Ayala.”
“Okay. Let’s go.”
They exited at the back of the store. “Sasakyan ko na lang ang gamitin natin.”
Ngumiti siya.“Okay.”
He helped her into his Maybach.
“Kumusta naman ang hotel mo sa Subic?” tanong niya rito nang umuusad na ang sasakyan.
“Okay naman. Ongoing pa rin ang construction. Palagi ako roon lately.”
“Ahh, kaya pala hindi ka na nakakatawag o nakakadalaw sa bahay.” Nakagat niya ang loob ng kanyang labi. Shit, did she sound needy?
Ngumiti ito nang nakakaloko. “Hmm, tampo ang baby ko,” malambing na tudyo nito.
“Hindi ah. Bakit naman ako magtatampo? Trabaho ’yan. Besides, busy rin ako sa boutique. Inventory time na kasi,” pagde-deny niya.
“You know I would cancel all other appointments just to be with you when you call. Well, all, save for one that may cause me bankruptcy. Pag gano’n, maiintindihan mo naman siguro pag na-delay ako ng dating.”
Napangiti siya, natuwa sa sinabi nito. Shit, bigla yata siyang uhaw na uhaw sa atensiyon nito.
“Na-miss mo ako ’no?” panunudyo pa nitong lalo.
Inirapan niya ito.
LUCKY WAS PLAYING IT COOL, but in truth, he was overjoyed when Kate called him. Finally, ito ang tumawag sa kanya. Never mind na trabaho ang itinawag nito. Ang importante ay ito mismo ang tumawag sa kanya at nag-request na samahan niya ito sa opisina ni Aris.
Muntik pa niyang ma-miss ang tawag nito dahil may kausap siyang isang investor sa cellphone niya kanina nang tumawag ito. He couldn’t switch to answer her call because they were discussing a very important matter. Muntik na niyang putulin ang pag-uusap nila ng inverstor para sagutin ang tawag ni Kate.
Pasimple niya itong pinagmasdan. She was so beautiful in her floral pink dress that flowed loosely down her body. He’d missed her so much. He couldn’t believe she called him and actually wanted to be with him today. Mukhang nilulubayan na siya ng lupit ng karma. Lumalapit na ulit sa kanya si Kate.
“I missed you,” mahinang sabi niya rito.
She glanced at him shyly and smiled. She crossed her legs and his eyes were drawn to her feet clad in some strappy sandals. Her toes were painted red. Such beautiful feet and cute toes. He missed licking them. And licking her all over. Especially where she was the sweetest.
His cock swelled even harder at his thoughts.
He couldn’t control his thoughts. It felt like forever since he last touched her. Everyday was a struggle not to succumb to his desire for her and storm his way back into her private space, invading it, taking what belonged to him.
He ached for her so bad he was losing his mind.
“I love your dress.” Indeed, the color of her dress complimented her glowing skin. Parang may naiba sa hitsura nito ngayon. Parang mas maganda pa itong lalo ngayon. “Nagkakalaman ka yata ngayon,” aniya ritong nakangiti nang pilyo.
“Medyo masarap kumain. Konti lang naman ang itinaba ko, no!”
“Hey, I’m not complaining, babe. It suits you. I like it. Mas lalo kang naging sexy.”
Namula ito. “Uhm, tell me about your hotel in Subic,” pag-iiba nito ng topic.
He told her about his latest project. Naging neutral ang topic nila hanggang sa makarating sila sa opisina ni Aris, which was just as well. His erection was getting mighty uncomfortable. He needed to take his mind off of it. Ayaw niyang masira ang lakad nilang ito dahil hindi niya mapigil ang pangangailangan niya.
THE MEETING WITH ARIS WENT WELL. Hindi naman gaanong nagtagal iyon. Ipinaliwanag lang sa kanila ni Aris ang proseso ng construction. Pinapirmahan sa kanya ang mga papeles na nagsasaad na sumasang-ayon siya sa lahat ng prosesong gagawin.
Wala pang isang oras ay natapos na ang meeting.
Muli silang lumulan sa Maybach ni Lucky.
“Gusto mo na bang kumain?” tanong ni Lucky sa kanya.
“Maaga pa eh. Hindi pa ako gutom. Maya-maya na siguro.”
“So…saan mo gustong pumunta bago tayo mag-dinner?”
His voice had turned low and a bit husky. She glanced at him and caught him staring at her with hungry eyes.
Not for food.
For her.
There was no doubt what he wanted at that moment.
Her.
Her body responded to that look like it was programmed to respond. Her nipples itched. Her clit throbbed. She craved his touch like a junkie.
Hindi niya mapigil ang sarili. Parang may sariling isip ang kanyang katawan, sumusuway sa dikta ng kanyang rasyonalidad.
Hindi ito kumikilos sa kinauupuan. Nakatingin lang ito sa kanya nang puno ng pagnanasa. Normally he’d be grabbing her already, having his way with her. Commanding her to submit to him. Taking her like he owned her.
But he was doing none of those now. The ache in her belly grew more intense.
“Luck…”
“Yes, babe?”
She wet her lips with her tongue. “I…I missed you.”
His eyes turned darker, smoldering now. “Yeah?”
Tumango siya. She wished he’d do something. Grab her like he used to. Take control.
“How much?”
“Hmm?” She felt dazed with desire now.
“How much did you miss me?”
“Very much.”
A wicked smile hovered on his lips. “Are you wet right now?” His voice was honey soft, ripe with promise.
Fire seemed to lick her skin, melting away her inhibitions. Her need for him was stronger than her shame. “Y-yes.”
“Show me.”
Her eyes widened despite the haze of arousal filtering her vision.
“Show me how wet you are, baby.”
VOTES AND COMMENTS APPRECIATED
Maraming-maraming salamat sa suporta ninyo sa akin dito sa Watty. Napakaraming comments at nakakatuwang basahin. Sari-saring reactions sa itinatakbo ng kwento. May awang-awa kay Lucky, may naiinis din. Mas maraming naiinis kay Kate pero gets din naman nila ang punto niya. Ganyan kasi akong magkwento, parehong bukas ang mga utak at puso ng aking mga bida at malayang nababasa iyon ng mga readers. Kaya’t nauunawaan nila ang mga kabaliwan ng mga characters ko. Sino ba ang hindi nababaliw sa pag-ibig? Lahat naman tayo dumaan diyan, sa confusion, sa takot, sa mga insecurities, sa misunderstandings, sa pataasan ng pride, highs and lows. Alam kong damang-dama ninyo ang struggles nina Lucky at Kate. Iyon lang naman ang gustong mangyari ng isang author sa kanyang akda, ’yong ma-affect niya ang mga readers, iyong papasok sila mismo sa kwento. Kaya maraming-maraming salamat sa inyong pagtangkilik sa kwento kong ito. Simple lang naman ang plot nito, pero madamdamin kong sinulat para tumatatak sina Kate at Lucky sa inyong mga puso. Mahal ko kayo.
xoxo~ Evie
20
SOUNDTRACK
SHAMELESS by Camilla Cabello
AYAN NA, MGA MALALANDI:) May buhay din ako maliban sa pagsusulat. Pasensiya na, okay? Three consecutive chapters coming after this one in rapid succession. Pambawi sa absence ko. Tatapusin natin ito bago magpasko. Happy reading!
HE WAS THE FIRST MAN she had been intimate with. The first man to have truly awakened her body to carnality, and the moment he did, she was never the same. He’d awakened a burning fever in her veins that seemed to have razed the other burning parts of her soul, and now this was all she could think about. This was all she could feel. This fire within her that he could easily stoke with just a look. With the mere thought of him.
Ngunit bago sa kanya ang lahat ng ito, ang pagiging initiator, ang pagiging agressive sa sex. She didn’t know if she could be so bold despite the hunger clawing in her core.
“Show me, baby,” he murmured again, reclining more comfortably in his seat like a king waiting for his entertainment.
Clearly, he wasn’t going to make the first move this time. He wanted her to do it.
She clamped her legs tighter to still the incessant throbbing there. Her body felt on fire, her nerve-endings raw. Every breath she took heightened the sexual tension within her.
“I’m hard. Very hard for you. Can you tell?”
He opened his legs wider in this masculinely indolent pose, making her throat parched as her eyes dropped to his fly where his arousal was clearly outlined under the material of his pants.
Her inner muscles clenched in longing. Longing to squeeze around his thick manhood as he drove in and out of her. As he drove them both toward that summit of indescribable ecstasy.
Sa pagitan ng kanyang mga hita, lalo siyang namasa. Habang nagpipigil siya, lalong tumitindi ang pananabik niya rito.
Nilingon niya ang glass partition na naghihiwalay sa kanila sa driver sa unahan ng sasakyan.
“That’s one-way. All the windows are. They can’t see or hear us unless I use the intercom.”
She wet her lips.
Pinindot nito ang intercom button. “To my penthouse,” utos nito sa driver nito at saka ngumisi sa kanya. “Move over there.” He gestured to the opposite seat in front of him. “So, I can see you better.” Then he reclined back in his seat, looking straight ahead.
The throbbing between her legs intensified as the seconds ticked by. Until she could no longer take it. Kinalas niya ang seatbelt niya at pagapang na lumipat sa kaharap nitong upuan. His car was so luxurious and spacious it had plenty of space for them to move comfortably.
He smiled smugly, and she almost went back to her seat, but his eyes were twin flames of naked desire, the very thing she wanted at that moment.
“I want you so much. But I’m not going to take you this time, angel. You have to take what you want. Now, show me how much you want it.”
Liquid heat flowed between her legs, obliterating her shame. Gumapang ang mga kamay niya patungo sa laylayan ng kanyang damit, iniangat iyon. Lumitaw ang mga hita niya sa paningin nito. His eyes smoldered even more with desire, and it fueled her boldness. She slowly opened her legs.
“My, my, you have a huge wet spot there, baby doll.”
She flushed hotly in the face. Indeed, she was a pool of flowing, hot lava down there, and even if she wanted to hide it, she couldn’t once he started touching her. Might as well show him now.
“Is that all for me?”
Tumango siya. Kung pulang-pula ang mukha niya sa hiya sa ginagawa, balewala na iyon sa tindi ng nararamdamang pagnanasa. Fire seemed to blaze just under her skin, razing everything else but the need to satisfy the hunger driving this compulsion.
“Show me how wet you are.”
“Touch me,” nagawa niyang sabihin.
“No. Touch yourself.”
Nakuyom niya ang mga palad. To show him how much he was turning her on practically doing nothing was like relinquishing total control over to him. Not that she hadn’t made her lose control before. But for her to hand it over to him on a silver platter…
Her pride warred with her need to feed the carnal hunger churning inside her like an addiction. She was panting like a bitch in heat for him on a moving vehicle! A far cry from the woman she used to be.
“Touching yourself is one of the best things that could happen to you. There would be times in the future when I’m away for work or any other circumstances, and all we can do is talk on the phone. But you can touch yourself while you talk to me, and it’s like touching me, or me touching you.”
Gumapang ang kamay niya sa pagitan ng kanyang mga hita, marahang humagod doon. Nakagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi. Hindi niya ginagawa iyon, pero…My goodness, who knew? Gusto niyang mapaungol sa sarap.
“That’s right, babe. There’s no shame in showing me how much you want me. I want you to show me you want me every time you feel the need to express it.”
“Do you…do this?”
“All the time when I think about you. Since you were sixteen.”
Na-shock siya. He’d been sexually fantasizing about her since she was sixteen? “That’s creepy. How could you? Ew.” She was grossed out, but thinking about it excited her, too. Lalo pa siyang namasa. He was turning her into a nymphomaniac!
He grinned. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help it. I had to do it or I would have gone insane every day thinking you couldn’t be mine. But in my fantasies back then, you were so mine. All mine.”
Tuluyang tinunaw ng tahasang pag-amin nito ang natitira niyang hiya. Pumasok ang kamay niya sa loob ng kanyang panties. She couldn’t help the moan of relief she felt as her fingers came in contact with the swollen folds of her sex. Her arousal escalated a hundredfold. Oh my God, I didn’t know this would feel so good!
“Yes…that feels so good, isn’t it, babe?” Parang nababasa nito ang laman ng utak niya.
“Uh-huh.” She had never dared to do this to her body before. She had this antiquated notion of purity, that all her carnal desires should only belong to her future husband. That was pure bullshit as she discovered now.
Her fingers moved over her slick folds, enjoying the feeling of her own arousal for the very first time. And she couldn’t stop herself. She opened her legs wider and touched herself freely in front of him. His eyes were between her legs, staring there hungrily and that pacified her pride knowing he was feeling exactly as she was feeling. The huge bulge in his fly told the tale of what was happening with him, too.
“I should have done this sooner. Ohhh my go—sh…” She explored herself, finding her pleasure points. It was easy to locate as it was the most sensitive part of her down there. Her clit. He had touched her there every time to bring her faster to orgasm. But touching it herself was another sensation altogether.
She closed her eyes and licked her lips, her fingers circling her clit. Her arousal spiked up fast as she discovered she could actually pleasure herself on her own. It was so easy!
“Don’t come without me.”
She opened her eyes and smiled at him smugly. It was a light bulb moment for her. She just discovered her power. “I should have done this sooner. Now I know how to pleasure myself on my own. I won’t be needing you anymore.”
The look on his face was priceless. In a flash, he was kneeling between her legs, his face inches from her most private part.
“Yeah? You think your fingers are better than my cock?” hamon nito.
“Uh-hmmm. My fingers feel good. Very good. You can’t do what my fingers can do to my own body.”
He removed her panties, roughly tugging the flimsy garment down her legs. She attempted to close her legs, but he was lodged there solidly. With her panties on, she was shameless, but without it, she felt naked to her very soul, and he was closely watching.
“Look how wet you are…You have the most beautiful pussy, baby doll…” he murmured in a ragged breath, but still, he avoided touching her.
“Touch yourself again,” he commanded.
Both her hands went to her sex this time, to cover it from his gaze. She hated his iron will. She was seconds away from grabbing him, and he was so in control, looking so gorgeous as he commanded her to do his bidding with that massive erection pushing hard against his fly.
“Open those pretty lips and show me.”
Muli siyang pumikit. Her fingers spread her folds for his eyes to feast on. She bit her lower lip, dying in shame, but she didn’t care now. She wanted him to touch her like he usually did. Her inner muscles clenched, yearning to feel him driving in and out of her with just the perfect intensity. Slow… then forceful…
Itinapon na niya ang kanyang pride. “Touch me, please, Luck…”
Bumaba ang mga labi nito kung saan niya gustong-gustong galawin nito. Napaliyad siya. Her limbs liquefied in the delicious sensations assaulting her at once.
He devoured her like a starving man, licking and lapping her. His tongue drew magic on her clit, circling it with such expertise she grabbed his head and pushed her hips up against his face, losing all sense of propriety. The fact that his driver/bodyguard was only a foot or two from them, separated by only a glass albeit soundproof partition, added to the illicitness of what they were doing. Lucky would always make her lose control in the most unconventional places, but she was already addicted to the thrill.
Pumasok ang isang daliri nito sa kanyang pagkababae, at isa pa. Parang mababaliw siya sa sobrang sarap. She had craved the stretching feeling. But she couldn’t wait for his thick manhood to stretch her to the limit.
What was wrong with her body lately? She couldn’t control her urges. Tuwing umaga ay nagigising siyang pinapawisan, basang-basa sa pananabik ang pagkababae. Tinitiis niya ang nararamdamang pananabik buong araw. It was hellish because she didn’t know how to make it go away. She would get aroused just thinking about him, about this.
He moved his fingers inside her, rubbing the most sensitive spot there and it radiated outward, the sharp points of pleasure driving her insane.
His lips went back to sucking her clit and she sobbed, clenching her inner muscles as she climbed the height of that ultimate bliss she knew she was headed to. But he was not doing enough. He would pause and alter the pressure and rhythm, breaking her climb every time. She wanted more. She wanted him inside her, his thickness stretching her as he pounded her relentlessly. That was the way he had taught her body to achieve orgasm, and nothing else would do.
“Luck, please…!” Her heart was banging so hard against her chest she could hardly breathe.
“What do you want, baby?” he asked her, his lips wet with her juices. It would probably never cease to amaze her how their pure friendship had turned into this uncontrollable mating between two animals.
“I want you.”
“Say it like I want it, angel. Come on.”
“I want you inside me.”
“I am inside you.” His fingers penetrated her deeper, making a squishing sound as her juices flowed out of her.
“Not that. You!”
“Ahh, you want my cock? Say it.”
He really liked to talk dirty during sex. It seemed to turn him on more. Pero ang lalong mas naka-shock sa kanya, gustong gusto pala niya kapag ganoon ito sa kanya.
“I thought you didn’t need my cock anymore?”
“I was just kidding, damn you!”
“Ahh. So, you want me to enter this tight, little pussy of yours now?”
“Yes!”
“You want me to fuck you until you come around my cock?”
Hinampas niya ang balikat nito sa sobrang frustration. “Hurry!”
“Tsk, tsk, so impatient. I haven’t sucked your clit for five minutes yet.”
“I don’t need five minutes! Do it! Now!”
He chuckled. He straightened up to open his fly.
“Sir, nasa hotel na po tayo.”
The soft voice of his bodyguard in the intercom jolted her back to reality. Napamura si Lucky at pinindot ang intercom button. “Give us a minute.”
Itinulak niya ito at umupo nang maayos. Dali-dali niyang hinila pababa ang laylayan ng damit. The intrusion of another person’s voice into their heated cocoon of intimacy was like a bucket of cold water drenching her. Nasa hotel na sila! Huminto na ang sasakyan! Siguradong maraming tao sa labas! Oh my God! Ayaw niyang lumabas ng sasakyan sa ganitong ayos! Ano na ba ang hitsura niya?! Nakakahiya!
She glared at him. “How could you?! He would know what we were doing!”
“He already knew twenty minutes ago.”
“Oh! So, you do this a lot?!”
“Not in this car. This is your car. No woman rides with me here but you.”
That didn’t make her feel any better. He had half a dozen other luxury cars! The jerk! Admitting that without batting an eye! She scrambled back to her seat. “May panties? Where is it?”
He was holding her panties. She tried to grab it, but he moved it out of her reach. “Akina ’yan!”
Pinahid nito ang mga labi gamit ang kanyang panloob saka ipinasok iyon sa bulsa ng pantalon nito.
Napahumindig siya. “Lucky! Give it back!”
Grinning wickedly, he pushed a button, releasing the locks.
“Oh my God…! You bastard!”
Bumukas ang pinto ng sasakyan na hinila ng driver nito mula sa labas. Yumuko siya para itago ang namumulang mukha habang lumabas naman ng sasakyan si Lucky. He extended his arm toward her.
They were in the hotel’s driveway, and it was full of people coming in and out of the lobby. Ayaw talaga niyang lumabas.
Yumuko ito at bumulong. “Ayaw mo bang tapusin natin sa penthouse?”
“I’ll kill you!” she whispered back heatedly.
Sinuklay niya ng mga daliri ang buhok at inayos ang harapan ng kanyang damit, sinigurong nasa lugar ang kasuotan niya. Grabbing her bag, she clasped his hand grudgingly. Inalalayan siya nito palabas ng Maybach.
“Smile or they’d know you’ve been a very naughty angel in the car.”
“I’ll kill you, I swear,” she repeated under her breath as she plastered a neutral expression on her face. Naglalakad sila sa lobby ng hotel at wala siyang suot na panloob! She was still so wet and she was afraid her juices would trickle down her legs, any moment.
Yumuko ito at bumulong sa kanya. “I’m going to fuck you so hard in a few minutes, I swear.”
This was beyond scandalous for her, but her entire body was still on fire with unsatisfied arousal.
Dumeresto sila sa kinaroroonan ng mga elevators. They entered the one reserved for the best suites on the upper floors, and his penthouse.
Pagkasara ng mga pinto, hinampas niya ito ng bag niya sa balikat.
Tumawa ito. “Aw, babe! Galit ka ba na nabitin ka?” bulong nito.
“You’re such a perverted asshole! I hate you!” she screamed her frustration at him, shocking even herself. She felt violent both in sexual frustration and mortification.
Grinning like a rascal, he put his finger over his lips to silence her, looking at the security camera mounted at the ceiling.
Napasandal siya sa glass wall, mabilis ang paghinga. It seemed to take forever to reach his place, but the moment they hit the highest floor, his demeanor changed.
He dragged her out of the elevator and into his penthouse, slamming the door shut. He backed her against the door panel.
“You were saying?”
Napipi siya. In the privacy of his penthouse, there was nothing that would interrupt them anymore.
“You hate me? Hmm?”
Palaban siyang tumitig dito. Nagrerebelde ang kalooban niya sa pagmamanipula nito sa kanya. He’d been playing her like a puppet, holding the reins of control, and she was reduced to this needy thing who jumped to obey his commands. “You’re a power-tripping asshole.”
Umismid ito. “But this asshole can make you come. Aren’t you dying to come right now, baby doll? I can almost smell your cream. You’re almost there.”
She grabbed the lapels of his suit, at hinila nang malakas.
He grinned, grinding his erection against her belly. “All you have to do is take what you want, angel.”
Her entire body pulsed with the intensity of her defiance and her urgent need to taste ecstasy in his arms again.
With an angry cry, she pulled herself on tiptoe and kissed him hard. His lips opened to receive her kiss, his tongue driving into her mouth like he owned it. She moaned hungrily, her hands looping around his neck, kissing him like she couldn’t get enough.
Naramdaman niya ang mga kamay nito sa pagitan nila. He was unzipping his pants and pulling up the hem of her dress.
Her feet suddenly left the floor as he lifted her up against the door like she weighed nothing, wrapping her legs around his hips.
She sighed in relief as his fingers found her clit again.
“Sarap, babe?”
“Uh-huh…Yes, ohhh yes!”
He worked her into a new build up of pleasure. Their faces rubbed, tongues sparring, sucking each other’s lips, swapping fluids. It was dirty kissing, like she could eat his entire face in one go. Gigil na gigil siya rito.
He pulled away, only to demand, “Feed me with your nipples.”
Sa pagkakataong ito, siya ang halos pumunit sa damit niya sa pagmamadaling ilantad ang sarili dito. Her breasts spilled out of her bra, feeling extra-sensitive and heavy.
“You’re so beautiful baby. My fucking goddess.”
Bumubuga ang mainit na hininga nito sa kanyang dibdib habang nakatitig doon. She cupped the globes and fed him shamelessly. He latched onto the engorged tips one after the other, suckling like a baby. Fresh bolts of electricity shot all the way to her sheath, making her inner muscles contract in an almost unbearable ache.
She was moaning and making incoherent noises, squeezing his hard frame with her legs as though she could climb his body and get sucked into it, grinding her wet center against his belly, urging him to take her.
“Jesus…! So fucking hot!”
Sa wakas, naramdaman niyang pinapasok na siya nito. The huge tip of his manhood breached her wet opening. It was scalding hot. Unable to wait any longer, she flexed her pelvis, intent on impaling herself on his shaft at once. But he controlled his penetration.
“Do you hate me, babe?”
She was mindless now. “No, no, no! I don’t hate you. I want you! Oh God, Luck, I’m gonna die, please! Come inside me!”
He suddenly pushed inside her forcefully. As wet as she was, his size still made her gasp as he stretched her inexorably, driving up inside her like a burning rod.
She cried out in a bit of discomfort, then sighed in relief when he was halfway inside her. She clamped around his shaft, squeezing it hard.
He slammed to the hilt. She gasped, feeling his full length inside her now.
He emitted a feral groan, panting heavily. “Yes, baby doll. God, so fucking tight!”
She was hovering on the edge. She was close. So so close!
“I can feel how your pussy has missed my cock. Yes, squeeze me harder, baby doll. That feels so damn good…!”
Holding on to his shoulders, she tried to start the rhythm, but he pushed her against the wall, preventing her from moving.
“Look at me.”
Looking into his eyes as she was full of him was staggering to her soul. Wala na siyang maitatago pa rito sa mga sandaling iyon. At ayaw na rin niyang magtago pa.
“From now on, you will tell me when you want to make love. I will drop everything when you call me, babe. And you will no longer hold back from me when we’re making love. My body is yours and your body is mine. I will take you, and you will take me whenever we feel the need, anytime, anywhere. You understand?”
“Yes. Yes! Move!”
He grinned like the devil. “Yeah? Like this?” He pulled, and slammed back into her so deeply.
Para siyang mahihimatay sa sobrang sarap na nararamdaman.
She held on to him tightly as he started a fast, steady rhythm that had her mewling in wild abandon. Sobra niyang na-miss ito. Ang nakakabaliw sa sarap na ito!
His thick manhood stretched her sheath to bursting, driving in and out of her over and over. Her abundant wetness made his penetration smooth and easy, even if she felt like he’d split her in two any moment.
He was so strong, so hot and hard and so delicious she vowed not to deprive herself of this pleasure anymore. This man was hers. Hers alone! She would enjoy him for as long as it lasted.
He kissed her hard as he took her harder, rocking her roughly against the wall, owning her completely, the sharp claws of pleasure ravaging her from the inside out. She could only hold on to him, her body a puppet of his masterful strokes.
“Luck, please, don’t stop, don’t stop don’t stop!”
“Come around my cock, baby doll. Come for me. Now.”
As if she had any choice! She was already flying toward oblivion.
She hit the summit so hard, screaming in ecstasy like a madwoman. She shuddered violently in his arms, her femininity contracting around his incredible hardness. Her vision swam as her orgasm seemed to go on and on as he thrust in and out of her relentlessly, gunning for his own release.
“I’m coming, baby doll. I’m going to fill you with my cum. You want that, babe? You want me to fill you with my babies?” he panted heavily, his hot breath blowing against her face.
She framed his face with her palms. “Yes, come inside me. Give me a baby.” She blurted out the closest thing to the truth.
“Oh, God, Kate, say that again!”
“I want your baby. Give me a baby!”
His hands squeezed the fleshy cheeks of her ass and thrust harder still, so deep that she felt him practically touching her womb.
She milked his shaft for his seed. She wanted to feel him shooting wildly inside her. Now, now now!
He pressed his lips to hers and murmured raggedly, “Yes, baby doll, I’m cumming…! Go––d!!!”
He slammed his pelvis violently against her one last time and stifferend in her arms. She hugged him tightly, feeling him swell even bigger as he jetted his hot semen inside her. She could literally feel his shaft pulsing hard with every explosion.
His harsh cries of ecstasy filled her ears, and she stared at him, enthralled. It was the most beautiful thing to behold, his face at the highest peak of his pleasure. Pleasure she had given him.
For the first time since they became lovers, she felt one with him.
21
PAGDATING NI KATE sa boutique niya kinabukasan ay puno ulit ng mga bulaklak ang kanyang opisina. Magkakahalong carnations, lilies, tulips and peonies ang naroon. Excited niyang tiningnan ang tarhetang nakasabit sa isang pumpon. He wrote the most beautiful note.
All I want is to see you smile every day, my angel. Yours, L.
Napangiti siya at hinalikan ang isang carnation. She texted Lucky. “You have made me smile 2day, as u always have in the past. Tnx.
She sighed and sat behind her desk. Tumitig siya sa mga folders na nasa ibabaw ng kanyang mesa. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang sisimulang gawin. Parang lumulutang ang utak niya, ayaw mag-function gayong napakarami niyang dapat gawin at tapusin. She was thinking about him. Always. Every day, every minute.
Tumunog ang cellphone niya. What’s with him? Hindi niya alam kung may ESP siya at tumatawag si Lucky sa tuwing iniisip niya ito. He spooked her sometimes.
“Hello.”
“Hey, how’s your morning, angel?”
“Fine. Thank for the flowers. They’re lovely.”
“You’re welcome. Narito ako sa Subic, pero susunduin kita mamayang hapon.”
“Ano ba’ng meron at bigla kang nag-host ng party?”
May dinner party ang buong angkan ng mga Deleste sa Hotel de Angelo mamayang gabi. Magti-treat si Lucky out of the blue. Natural, dadalo ang lahat ng mga kaanak niya dahil si Lucky ang nag-imbita. They all loved him, plus they loved the food at his hotel.
“Wala, masaya lang ako. Saka matagal-tagal na ring hindi ako nakapag-treat sa family mo. Palagi na lang ako ang invited sa mga parties ninyo.”
“Sige, see you later.”
“Bye, babe.”
“Bye.”
ANO ’TO LUCK?
“Open it.”
Napatitig siya sa ibinigay nitong may kalakihang square, velvet box na kulay celadon green. Tiffany and Co., her favorite jewelry store.
Binuksan niya iyon. Kahit sinong babae ang makatanggap niyon ay mapapahigit ng hininga. Laman ng box ang isang set ng kwintas, singsing at mga hikaw na yari sa sapphire at diamonds. Platinum gold ang nagdurugtong sa mga bato. Malaki ang bato ng singsing, isang square-cut na sapphire na napapaligiran ng mga mumunting diamonds, ganoon din ang pendant ng kwintas, at pinakasentro ng mga hikaw.
Marami siyang mga alahas kaya alam niya paano kumilatis niyon. Nalula siya sa maaaring halaga ng laman ng kahon. Hindi biro ’yon, alam niya.
“Luck…” Nababaghang napatingin siya rito.
“You like them?” He was looking at her tenderly, his eyes, expectant.
“They’re beautiful…But…”
“Here, let me…” Kinuha nito ang kwintas at isinuot iyon sa kanyang leeg. Hinalikan siya nito sa mga labi. “My beautiful Kate,” masuyong bulong nito.
“Luck, I can’t accept this.”
“Why not? It’s a gift, babe.”
“It’s very, very expensive.”
“Marami na akong naibigay na mga jewelry sa ’yo. Tinanggap mo lahat ang mga ’yon. What makes this gift any different now? You deserve nothing but the best.”
Nakaka-flatter nang husto ang sinabi nito pero naasiwa pa rin siya. “Iba noon, iba ngayon.”
Napakunot-noot ito. “Paanong naiba?”
“We were just friends then.”
“At ngayon ba ay hindi na?”
Wala siyang maapuhap na tamang paliwanag. “I’m not your mistress!” Hindi niya napigilang sabihin. “Don’t give me super expensive gifts. It’s not right. I feel uncomfortable.”
Natawa ito. “One, I’m not married, so the mistress thing doesn’t apply. Two, I don’t give my past lovers gifts like this. I’ll admit to giving away some trinkets, but nothing like this. This, is only for my queen. Three, I gave you several cars over the years. They were super expensive, too.”
“Iba ’yon. Cars are for practical use. This…” She stared at the jewelry box lying on her lap, shaking her head. “This is merely a whim.”
Kinuha nito ang mga kamay niya at hinalikan. “Babe, it’s not payment for the joy you give me. Kung babayaran ko ’yon, kukulangin ang lahat ng mga assets ko. You know why?”
She shook her head.
“You are priceless.”
If he put it that way, how could she say no to this token?
Kinuha nito ang singsing sa box at isinuot sa ring finger niya. “There. Bagay sa kamay mo.”
Tinitigan niya ang singsing. It was absolutely beautiful. It looked like an engagement ring, but surely he didn’t give it to her for that purpose?
Sa wakas ay ngumiti siya rito. “Thank you so much. I love them. They’re beautiful.”
“You’re welcome, angel. Let’s go? Baka naiinip na ang Mom and Dad mo sa hotel.”
KOMPLETO ANG HALOS BUONG pamilya Deleste sa party. Mga singkwenta silang naroon. Lucky made them use the smaller ballroom of the hotel. Kakalog-kalog sila roon. There was an acoustic band playing while they ate a lavish dinner. Champagne was flowing, too.
Kate wistfully looked at her family having a great time in the ballroom. Nagsasayawan at nagkakantahan kasama ang banda ang mga teenagers na mga pinsan niya. There was a bittersweet feeling in her heart. It was so ironic that Lucky was so much closer to her family than Nico ever was. Kung naging sila siguro ni Lucky mula sa simula, wala siyang problema sa pamilya niya.
Bahagya niyang naipilig ang ulo sa biglang naisip. What-ifs had no place in her present emotional state. What ifs would only lead to disappointment. Expectations led to disillusionment.
Masayang nakikipagkwentuhan ang mga magulang niya kay Lucky. Late na dumating si DL galing sa kung saang lakad nito. Her brother decided to miss one race in his busy racing schedule. May konting gusot daw sa management ng team nito at ipinaubaya na lang muna nito sa team mates nito ang isang karera. He had racked up enough wins this season to maintain his world ranking, ayon dito.
Nang makatiyempo ay hinila siya ng kanyang tiyahing si Selena sa isang panig ng ballroom, malayo sa iba. “Oh wow, diamonds and sapphires!” anito na binibistahan ang suot niyang mga alahas.
“Bigay ni Lucky.”
Umarko ang mga aristokratang kilay nito. “So, alam na ba niya ang tungkol sa baby? My goodness, this costs a fortune!” anito habang hawak ang pendant ng necklace niya.
“Hindi pa ho.”
“It’s starting to show, you know? Wala ka bang early symptoms?”
“Minsan masama ang panlasa ko at pang-amoy. Pero hindi naman palagi, and not enough for me to lose appetite. Palagi akong gutom lately.” At palaging uhaw sa sex. Nahiya na lang siyang aminin ’yon.
“Hay naku, anak, habang pinapatagal mo ’yan, lalo kang mahihirapan.”
Napabuntong-hininga siya, masuyong hinaplos ang tiyan. Hindi pa naman lumalaki iyon na maipagkakamaling buntis siya pero medyo nagkakalaman na siya sa buong katawan niya. “I know. Pero masama ba na for once, I want to marry for the right reasons, Tita?”
Tinitigan siya ng tiyahin. “You think marrying him is wrong?”
Tinitigan niya ang singsing na bigay sa kanya ni Lucky. Sa loob ng maraming taon, singsing ni Nico ang suot niya. Tinanggal na niya iyon at ngayon ay singsing ni Lucky ang suot niya. It was even more beautiful than her engagement ring, and yet she felt melancholic as she looked at it. Ano ba ang kahulugan ng singsing na ito sa kanya?
“Noong ipinagkasundo ako kay Nico, bata pa ako noon, menor de edad. I didn’t know any better. Sunod-sunuran lang ako sa kagustuhan ng mga matatanda. I gave them complete control of my life, my future, my happiness. Hindi na ako menor de edad ngayon pero sigurado akong pipilitin ako ng parents ko na magpakasal dahil sa kalagayan ko. Noong una ay ipinagkasundo ako dahil sa negosyo na parang isang pawn lang sa isang chess game, ngayon naman ay ipapakasal ako para hindi mapahiya ang pamilya ko sa society. At least, up to the last moment, I thought I was marrying Nico for love. It didn’t feel like a business merger. But I do know that marrying to save face is not the right way to start a marriage. It’s a recipe for disaster.”
“Hindi naman siguro mahirap mahalin si Lucky?”
“Now is not the right time to ask me such questions, Tita, because I honestly don’t know if I’m capable of loving again. I do care for him. A lot. But I don’t want to marry for that. It’s not enough reason for me now.”
“How can you not love that man? He’s gorgeous, mabait, kasundo ng parents mo, ng kapatid mo, ng buong pamilya mo. Look.” She gestured to the party happening in the ballroom.
Lucky was chatting with her parents and relatives at one table. They looked so comfortable with one another. Bakit nga ba hindi na lang sila ni Lucky? Solusyon iyon sa kasalukuyang problema niya. Pero hindi talaga niya maatim na isubo ulit ang sarili sa isang alanganing sitwasyon, kahit pa mapahiya siya sa pubiko. Napahiya na naman siya dahil kay Nico, kakayanin na niyang maglakad sa publiko na buntis at walang asawa. Moderno na ang mundo at maiintindihan din naman siya kalaunan ng mga kamag-anak at kaibigan niya. Her parents would just have to forgive her for this one mistake. She would not marry any man until she was good and ready.
“I wish it’s that simple. But it isn’t.”
Selena sighed. “Oh well, matanda ka na, hija. Alam mo na ang mas makabubuti sa ’yo. At least, the sex is great.”
“Yeah. At least, there’s that.”
Nagtawanan na lang sila.
“That’s a great start, you know? Based from experience, great sex is the one thing that will keep a marriage from completely breaking down when a couple can no longer stand each other. You should definitely marry him eventually if he gives you the best Os.”
“Tita! Hush, baka marinig ka.”
“Seryoso ako ah.”
Nagseryoso rin siya. “I will only marry for love, Tita, at ikaw ang unang makakaalam kapag gagawin ko man ulit ’yon. Besides, you don’t know Lucky like I do. Andaming naghahabol diyan. Player kaya ’yan. Baka akala niyo sobrang santo. Hindi ’no.”
“Uy, nagseselos ka yata?”
Nag-blush siya. “Bakit naman ako magseselos? We have this open thing. No strings.”
“So, let me get this straight. You’re carrying his child pero wala pa rin kayong relasyon? You’re sleeping with him every chance you get and you’re wearing a set of jewelry that only a man who is madly in love with a woman would give, pero wala pa rin kayong relasyon? Baka hindi kayo pareho ni Lucky ng pagkakaintindi ng relasyon?”
“Basta we had an agreement. Pag ayoko na, wala na. Pag ayaw na niya, malaya siya.”
Napailing-iling ito. “I still find it hard to believe na ganyan ka na ngayon. You did a total 180, I’m still having a whiplash. What happened to my prim and proper niece with her no-sex-before-marriage motto?”
Ngumiti siya nang malamlam. “That version of me is gone, Tita. This is me now.”
“Why am I so sad to hear that, my dear?”
Napayuko siya. “I’m sorry kung disappointed kayo sa akin.”
“Paano kung mahalata na niya ang tiyan mo? Hindi naman kayo nakadamit kapag nagse-sex ’no?”
Gusto niyang matawa sa sinabi ng tiyahin. In fact, ni halos hindi sila makapaghubad nang maayos ni Lucky kapag nagse-sex. She found that funny in an ironic way. Kaya siguro hindi pa nahahalata nito ang mga pagbabago sa katawan niya.
“Ibig sabihin niyan ay malapit ko ng tapusin ang arrangement namin.” Ewan niya pero sobrang nalungkot siya nang isaboses iyon.
Napabuntong-hininga si Selena. “Kate, minsan naghahanap tayo ng kaligayahan sa kung saan-saang lugar, sa kung kani-kaninong tao. Hindi natin alam na nasa tabi lang natin ang hinahanap natin. Open your heart. Arukin mo ang tunay na nararamdaman mo. Minsan natatabingan lang ’yan ng galit, hinananakit at pride. Kung naguguluhan ka, just follow your instincts, hija. You will never go wrong. Pero isa lang ang sasabihin ko sa ’yo, Lucky is the right man for you. Hindi si Nico. Huwag mong sayangin ang pagkakataong maging tunay na maligaya.”
“Thank you for the advise, Tita. Trust me, lahat ng sinasabi mo sa akin, kino-consider ko.”
Tumango lang ito. “Come on, let’s go back to the party.”
NAPAPAISIP SI KATE NANG MULING dumulog sa mesa kung saan nakaupo ang kanyang mga magulang, si Lucky at ang kanyang Tito Frank, ang pangalawang kapatid ng kanyang ama at ang asawa nitong ni Marixi. Masayang nagkukwentuhan ang mga ito na natatanaw niya kanina pa habang nakikipag-usap siya sa kanyang Tita Selena.
Umupo siya sa bakanteng silya sa tabi ni Lucky.
“You okay?” tanong nito. His gentle eyes searched her face with that familiar concern.
“Yes. What did I miss?”
“Marami na, hija. I was telling your Dad about our business expansion in Mindanao,” pagbibida ng kanyang Tito Frank. “Lucky is interested to join us.”
Muli niyang nilingon si Lucky. “Really? Di pa nga kayo nagsisimula ng business ninyo ni DL, may bago na naman?”
He shrugged. “You gotta share vision with the right people. Your uncle has a good one. I couldn’t resist.”
Inagaw na muli ng kanyang Tito Frank ang atensiyon ni Lucky at muling nag-usap tungkol sa negosyo ang mga ito.
She caught her mother rolling her eyes. Ayaw nitong negosyo ang pinag-uusapan sa mga gatherings nila, pero mukhang hindi mapigil ang Uncle Frank niya, and Lucky was just too polite to ignore him, lalo at nakisali na rin ang Daddy niya sa usapan.
Binalingan na lamang niya ang kanyang Tita Marixi na katabi rin niya. “I love your dress, Tita. Let me guess…Alexandre Vauthier?”
Ngumiti si Marixi. “Thanks, pero last season pa ito. Hinakot ko ang laman ng shop nila sa New York noong nag-sale sila.”
Sa lahat ng mga tiyahin niya, si Marixi ang talagang fashionista at marunong maghanap ng designers na mabibili sa bargain price. Kung saan-saang fashion capitals ito nakakarating para mag-shopping. Magkasundong-magkasundo sila kapag usapang fashion.
“Don’t worry, Tita, mga fashion stylists lang naman ang makakakilatis kung last-season o on-season ang suot mo, at karamihan sa kanila ay hindi naman maka-afford na bumili ng brands na kagaya ng suot mo on a regular basis. Besides, nasa Pilipinas ka naman at wala sa ibang bansa. And who cares kung last season ang suot mo? Uso nga ang vintage ngayon. Just wear it unapologetically and with that usual kiss-my-sexy ass attitude of yours.”
Tiningnan siya nang nagtataka ni Marixi. “Naninibago ako sa ’yo, hija.”
“Bakit naman po?”
“Iba na ang aura mo ngayon. At gusto ko ang mga sinasabi mo. Hindi ka dating ganyan.”
“Ho? Ganito naman ako dati.”
“No. Hindi ka ganyan. You were too careful about everything, sa kilos, sa pananalita. Too perfect.”
Natahimik siya. Ganoon na ba kalaki ang ipinagbago niya? Masama ba o mabuti ang ipinagbago niya? She wasn’t sure. Her Tita Selena was disappointed in her.
“But I like it, hija. Keep it up. Life is too short to be led by other people’s opinions of us. We should always go by whatever makes us comfortable and happy, as long as wala naman tayong ibang taong natatapakan.”
Ngumiti siya. Napakaswerte talaga niya sa mga tiyahin niya. Lahat ay mababait at cool. “Thanks, Tita.”
Naramdaman niyang hinawakan ni Lucky ang kamay niya sa ilalim ng mesa. Medyo nanigas siya. He would really dare to do that in front of her family? Pasimple niyang hinila ang kamay pero hindi nito binitiwan.
Patuloy siyang nakipag-usap kay Marixi. They discussed the new collections being sold at her boutique. Marixi liked to pantronize local brands, too, and she appreciated it tremendously. All the while, pinipisil-pisil ni Lucky ang palad at mga daliri niya habang nakikipag-usap naman ito sa Tito Frank at Daddy niya.
Nagsimulang mag-init ang pakiramdam niya sa ginagawa ni Lucky. Her skin prickled with heat, her nipples becoming sensitive, and between her legs, she could feel herself swelling. Napalunok siya, nanuyo ang lalamunan. Uminom siya ng tubig.
Napakadali na niyang ma-arouse lately. They had been making love the past week everyday. Bawat hapon, sinusundo siya ni Lucky mula sa trabaho at maaga siyang aalis. They’d go straight to his penthouse and have wild sex everywhere! Wala itong kasawa-sawa at siya naman ay palaging handang tanggapin ito sa katawan niya. Her body was already attuned to his touch that just the slightest stimulus could get her hot and bothered. Hindi pa naman siya mapalagay kapag hindi agad ma-satisfy ang pangangailangan niya. Para siyang mababaliw at hindi makapag-isip nang maayos sa trabaho. But Lucky was always ready to give her what she needed. Hindi na siya nahihiyang tumawag dito ngayon, at kahit tanghaling tapat, nagse-sex sila!
Her clit started throbbing, na sumasabay sa tibok ng puso niya. Ramdam niya ang pulso niyon sa lalamunan niya. She was starting to get short of breath as her nipples swelled. Naeskandalo siya sa nararamdaman. Hindi niya mapigil ang bugso niyon. Simpleng hinahawakan lang ni Lucky ang kamay niya, wet na wet na siya. Nasa publiko sila, napapaligiran ng mga kaanak niya, pero hindi nahadlangan niyon ang pagsiklab ng apoy sa kaloob-looban niya. My God, I hate my body right now! Hormonal na nga talaga siya.
Pasimple niyang nilingon si Lucky at pinaningkitan ng mga mata. Nakakaloko ang ngiti nito. Bigla itong tumayo. “Excuse us po. May ipapakita lang ako kay Kate.”
Tumango lang ang kanyang Daddy at muling nakipag-usap sa kapatid nito. Lumipat naman ng upuan ang Mommy niya sa tabi ni Marixi. “Go, kids,” anito, at dinismisa sila.
Hinila ni Lucky ang kamay niya palayo sa grupo. Tuloy-tuloy sila sa side exit ng ballroom.
“Hey, saan ba tayo pupunta?”
“To fuck, what else?”
“Luck!” impit na bulalas niya.
He chuckled. “Don’t give me that look. I know you’re dying for it.”
“Hindi tayo pwedeng mawala nang matagal. Mahahalata tayo.”
“Who says we need to go far to fuck?”
Lumingon-lingon ito. Bigla siyang hinila nito papasok sa isang pinto sa may hallway. Madilim sa loob. Narinig niyang ini-lock nito ang pinto.
“Luck, what are you doing!” impit na protesta niya.
“I’m going to make love to you inside a utility room.”
“You can’t be serious!” Akala niya’y nakakaeskandalo na iyong nag-sex sila sa Maybach nito, pero sa utility room ng hotel kung saan nagpa-party ang pamilya niya ilang metro lang ang layo?!
He pulled her hand and pressed it to his fly. “Is that serious enough?”
She moaned weakly, her fingers automatically curling around his erection. Her inner muscles clenched in hunger, secreting more fluids. She was embarrassingly wet now.
“That’s right. I’m so hard for you, babe. Kanina ko pa gustong gawin ito pero hindi ako makatakas sa Daddy at Uncle mo. Ang kukulit nila.”
He was guiding her in the shadows until her back hit a table or something. He hoisted her on top of it, lodging his body between her legs.
She heard the rasp of his zipper, and then he was guiding her hand to grip his swollen shaft. It was hot as a burning steel in her palm. “Oh god, you’re so big…and hot…” she sighed, squeezing him.
He chuckled. “I’m glad you’re impressed with my package, babe.”
His hand went inside her panties, cupping her sex. He groaned. “Ffffuck, this drives me crazy. Thinking about your wet pussy makes me useless at work.”
She moaned as he massaged her wet folds and rubbed her clit. And then he was fingering her opening. Sweat broke out on her skin, her lower belly coiling with a hot, delicious tension, building up fast.
He kissed her again and petted her until she was shaking with the need to come.
She pumped him faster, loving the silky feel of his hardness flexing within her fist.
He licked her throat, sucking her skin. “I can’t wait, baby doll. I need to be inside you now.”
He put his arms under her legs, lifting them up, aligning their bodies. “Guide me in,” he commanded.
She eagerly pointed his engorged tip at her entrance.
He entered her in one swift thrust, just as his lips claimed hers in a voracious kiss, trapping her loud moans.
He pounded her immediately, rocking her entire body, supporting her weight in his powerful arms.
Her sheath clung to his surging shaft hungrily as he stroked her depths in a rhythm that made her head spin in mindless pleasure. Bakit mas sumasarap ang kanilang pagtatalik habang tumatagal? She only seemed to want it more and more as her body received him more.
It was a fast, rough mating in that dark room and she didn’t care if people heard them outside. She only cared about coming at that moment.
“God, and sarap-sarap mo, baby doll. I wanna fuck you every day for the rest of my life. I’ll never get enough of you.”
He lifted her higher and changed the angle of his thrusts, making her slide up and down instead of to and fro, on his shaft. He drilled her like a machine, hitting the most sensitive spot inside her until her eyes rolled up in extreme pleasure.
She climaxed all too soon, the violent rupture in her core almost making her black out.
She clung to him tightly, absorbing his strength as he thrust harder and faster. He too reached his peak a few beats later, his body quickening and filling her with his hot seed.
They hugged each other for minutes, enjoying the aftermath of their passion in the darkness as their heartbeats slowed down to normal.
“Do you realize we almost never make love on a proper bed? Kung saan-saan mo lang ako ginagalaw. I feel so disrespected,” nanghihinang sabi niya.
“Please, do not ever think this is disrespect. I just can’t keep my hands off of you. My erections are full of respect for you, baby doll, make no mistake. They worship your pussy like it’s a first-tier goddess.”
She giggled. “This is insane. In a utility room, for God’s sake.”
“Isn’t it exciting? You came too fast.”
“Ikaw rin naman ah.”
“Next time, doon naman tayo sa utility room ng bahay ninyo. Mas exciting kung mahuli tayo ng Mom mo.”
She slapped his ass. “Ang naughty mo talaga. The things you made me do…grabe. Never in a million years ko naisip na magagawa ko ang mga ’yon.”
He chuckled and nuzzled her neck. “The things you do with me are so damn hot. The thought of you doing any of that with another man drives me insane. You’re mine, angel. Mine alone. Never forget that.”
His possessiveness made her heart swell with joy. Na-miss niya iyon. “Paano pa tayo babalik sa party nito?”
“I’m pretty sure they won’t suspect a thing. Don’t worry, I didn’t rip your dress this time.”
Natawa siya. “What about my panties?’
“It’s somewhere on the floor. Mamaya pulutin ko. Mahirap na at baka mapulot ng janitor.”
Naeskandalo siya. “Luck! Pulutin mo na ngayon din!”
“Mamaya na. Isang round pa, babe?”
“What…? No. I can’t…”
“Yes.” He began thrusting again. He was hard again! How was that even possible?
“Luck, stop it. We need to go back to the party.”
But her feeble protest was quickly forgotten as her body responded to him like a withering plant to fresh water.
His hands crept inside her dress, seeking her breasts.
“Don’t rip anything.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
KUNG NOON ay napakasarap kasama ni Lucky bilang kaibigan, bilang lover ay wala itong kasing-romantiko. He made her feel like the most beautiful woman on earth, like she was a goddess or a queen. Best of all, he made her body experience the most delicious and decadent pleasures imaginable.
Lucky was very visual, but he liked to look at specific parts of her body at a time. He’d stare at her breasts and between her legs, petting her, watching her reactions as she became aroused. He’d play with her hands and feet, worshiping them with his lips. He’d caress her hair, rubbing his face on her silky tresses like an amorous beast. But most of the time, he’d just gaze at her face and touch her features gently, reverently, tracing them with his fingertips.
Thanks to his adventurous nature, the bed was the least place they used to make love. Mas na-e-excite ito na iba-iba ang location ng sexual escapades nila. She became less and less shocked as the days passed. Kaya bibihira iyong nakatitig ito sa kanya nang hubo’t hubad siya. Mabuti naman dahil baka mahalata nito na nagbabago na ang katawan niya. Ilang linggo pa at hindi na talaga niya maitatago ang kalagayan niya.
“Luck, bakit di mo sinabi sa akin noon na masarap ang sex?” pilyang tanong niya rito isang hapong magkasama sila.
Naglulunoy sila sa outdoor jacuzzi ng penthouse nito, umiinom ng wine. Katatapos lang nilang magtalik ng dalawang beses. Thanks to the water swirling around them, he didn’t have to stare at her naked body for hours. Nakapagitna ito sa kanyang mga hita, nakasandal sa kanyang dibdib ang likod nito.
“Hindi ka naman nagtanong.”
Palubog na ang araw at napakaganda ng panahon, hindi gaanong humid. She was idly touching his chest and shoulders, enjoying the smooth, toned planes of his muscles. He had such a fit body from his daily workout and from playing Polo.
“Nagtanong kaya ako several times sa ’yo about sex. Palagi mong iniiba ang topic.”
“Ano namang inaasahan mong sabihin ko sa ’yo noon?”
“Na masarap nga. Di ba lagi kang may ka-sex noon?”
“Pati rin naman ngayon.”
She smacked his chest playfully. He chuckled. She loved the sound of his laughter. Buo ang tinig nito, medyo paos na lalong nakadagdag sa timbe nitong baritono, lalo na kung nagme-make love sila. His sexy groans of pleasure really turned her on.
“When was the first time you had sex?” pangungulit niya.
“Let’s see. Ang tagal na no’n. I was fourteen yata. There was this older girl na kapatid ng barkada ko sa States. She was nineteen.”
Na-shock siya. “Fourteen?! Child molestation ’yon ah!”
Bumunghalit ito ng tawa. “You can say that. But I was eager to participate when she initiated it. Laking pasalamat ko sa kanya. Magaling magturo. Siya pa nga ang bumili ng condoms. Maaga akong naging confident sa sex. When I got older, sa akin lahat nagtatanong ang mga barkada ko noon kung ano ang gagawin sa mga girlfriends nila. Those were fun times.”
“Ang aga mo namang nagsimula. Feeling ko tuloy, lugi ako. Napaka-late bloomer ko.”
“Tama lang ’yang edad mo. Hinintay mo lang talaga ako.”
“Yabang mo.” She scooped water with her palms and drenched his head.
Muli itong tumawa.
“Sana man lang, binigyan mo ako ng tips noong bata-bata pa ako, para napaaga ang sexual education ko. Parang ang dami ko tuloy na-miss.”
“And if I did, kanino mo naman ia-apply ang ituturo ko sa ’yo?”
Natahimik siya. Biglang na-awkward na siya sa topic.
Nakahalata ito. He turned to face her. “I will teach you everything you want to learn about sex, baby. But so far, you’re doing awesome.”
His eyes were tender but sensual as he looked at her.
“Bola. Kinder pa lang ako kumpara sa PhD mo sa sex.”
“Popping your cherry is still my favorite fantasy to relive. So, yeah, kinder is super hot.”
She made a face, but her insides were fluttering in joy at his appreciative words.
He moved his lower body between her legs. “Do you doubt it, baby doll?”
“Nakadalawa ka na today.”
He grinned devilishly. “Round three?”
Giggling, her legs wrapped around his hips in capitulation.
She felt utterly beautiful and sexy when he looked at her like that.
She needed that feeling badly.
22
HANGANG-HANGANG IGINALA NI KATE ang mga mata sa paligid. Nagpasama siya kay Lucky para bisitahin ang construction ng kanyang boutique.
“Well?”
“I love it, Aris! Ang bilis naman ng construction. Wala pang two weeks ganito na agad ang natapos? Nakikinita ko na ang finished product. It’s going to be beautiful! I’m so impressed!”
“I’m glad na nagustuhan mo sa far ang trabaho, Kate. I don’t ever want to disappoint you.”
“How can you possibly disappoint with this turn-out? Napaka-efficient ng mga tauhan mo. Bilib ako, sobra. Parang magic lang. Last week wala pa lahat ito. Now, it’s almost finished. 24/7 ba kayo nagtatrabaho?”
“Yes. Rotation sila ng shifts. They are all experts in their fields. I employ nothing but the best.”
“Wow, no wonder!”
Pumasok sa loob ng shop si Lucky. Lumapit ito sa kanila. May tumawag dito kanina kaya nagpahuli itong pumasok.
“Aris,” bati nito.
“Hey, Luck. What do you think? Okay ba?” tanong ni Aris dito patungkol sa progress ng construction.
“Maganda, pare. Ang bilis ah. Mukhang ahead ka sa schedule mo.”
“Tatapusin ko talaga on sched ito para mas maraming panahon si Kate sa pag-furnish at pag-decorate nila ng designer niya.”
Tumango-tango si Lucky. “Mabuti kung ganoon. Great job, pare.”
Maya-maya’y tumunog ang cellphone ni Lucky. Lumayo ito sa kanila upang sagutin iyon.
“Say, Kate…are you busy next weekend? Saturday evening? It’s weekend naman, gusto sana kitang imbitahing mag-dinner. Casual lang. Kung wala kang prior plans.”
Natigilan siya. It was clearly a date he was asking. Aris had no idea of his arrangement with Lucky. Sa paningin nito ay available naman siya. At talaga namang available siya. Wala naman silang relasyon ni Lucky. She could go out on a date with anybody if she wanted to. Except that she didn’t want to. Pero ayaw naman niyang mapahiya si Aris, lalo’t napakabait nito sa kanya. She knew that building her boutique was a huge favor Aris was doing for her. Batikang arkitekto ito at matataas na buildings ang dinidisenyo nito pero pumayag itong gawin ang boutique niya na small-time lang naman kumpara sa mga ibang projects nito. Sobrang makakadagdag sa branding niya na si Aris ang gumawa ng boutique niya. Nahihiya siyang hantaran itong i-reject, because in truth, she really liked him. Kung wala lang si Lucky sa buhay niya ngayon…
“I’m sorry, Kate. Forgive me. We’re working with each other right now, and I don’t want to be unprofessional. It’s just that…I…God, I’m such a dork.” Namumula na ito sa hiya.
Naawa siya rito. “You know I’d love to, Aris, but I’m not really sure of my schedule next weekend. Can we save this dinner for when we are both free to go out? I just don’t know when that is?” napapangiwi niyang tanggi sa imbitasyon nito. At least, hindi naman outright rejection iyon.
He looked immensely relieved. “Definitely. Just call me. Anytime, Kate.”
“Alright.”
Muling lumapit si Lucky sa kanila. Parang na-guilty siya sa ginawa. Pakiramdam niya’y nagtataksil siya rito, pero hindi naman talaga siya makikipag-date kay Aris. Hindi niya maatim. Ayaw lang niyang maging awkward sila ni Aris kaya ginawa niyang open-ended ang pagtanggi.
“Let’s go?” yaya na ni Lucky sa kanya.
Nagpaalam na sila kay Aris.
Muli silang sumakay sa Maybach ni Lucky. Madalas na silang magkasamang kumain ulit. Nami-miss naman niya ito palagi kaya’t ayaw na niyang kalabanin pa ang sarili.
Napapaisip rin siya recently. What if…?
Iyon ang pinakaiwas-iwasan niya, ang magsimulang mag-what if. Pero naroon na ulit siya sa phase na ’yon.
What if bigyan nga niya ng chance sila ni Lucky? What if bigyang laya niya ang sarili na maramdaman ang dapat niyang maramdaman? Would she just wake up one morning already in love with him? Truly in love with him?
Natatakot siyang muling magtiwala…But Lucky was the father of the baby growing inside her. Sa ayaw at sa gusto niya ay parte ito ng buhay ng kanyang magiging anak. Dati na rin itong parte ng buhay niya.
Paano nga kaya kung maging sila nga? Kung magpakasal sila? Iyong mismong siya ay papayag nang kusa? Magtagal kaya sila? O baka matulad lang sila sa nangyari sa kanila ni Nico?
Ang totoo, hindi na niya alam ngayon kung sapat ba siya para maging faithful sa kanya ang karelasyon niya. Kung may kulang ba sa kanya? O baka may sobra? Nico really messed up her self-esteem. Sobrang bumaba ang self-worth niya nang i-dump siya nito sa mismong araw ng kanilang kasal. She used to be confident…
No. She was not confident, she realized now. She was just an obedient daughter and fiancee. She did everything to please her parents and Nico. She did what was expected of her. She tried to be perfect for her loved ones.
But perfection was a fool’s illusion. Her perfection was not enough for Nico. He chose another woman.
“What are you thinking?” Lucky’s soft voice intruded into her deep thoughts.
“Huh? Wala…”
Ginagap nito ang kamay niya. “Kanina pa ang lalalim ng mga buntong-hininga mo.”
“Wala. Iniisip ko lang…”
“Na ano, babe?”
“Bakit may mga lalaking cheater?”
Natahimik ito. Akala niya’y iiwas ito sa subject, pero sumagot ito maya-maya. “Honestly, hindi ko rin alam, Kate. Iba-iba ang ugali ng tao, may kanya-kanyang coping mechanism. Some don’t really know who they are inside and what they want in life. They allow themselves to get trapped in difficult situations because they are too weak to make a decision. And they end up hurting others when they do finally decide.”
“Is that what happened? He felt trapped?”
“I guess. I don’t know. I’m not him. I can’t speak for him.”
“What makes a man faithful to his partner?”
Tumagilid ito sa kinauupuan upang mas nakaharap sa kanya. “Hindi ko hawak ang utak niya, Kate.”
Sinalubong niya ang titig nito. “I’m not talking about him.”
“No?”
“No. So…What would make you faithful to your partner?” tanong niyang nanghahamon dito.
Tinitigan siya nito nang matiim nang ilang segundo. His eyes became solemn. “Simple. My love for her.”
His unequivocal answer made hope blossom inside her. “Have you been in love?”
She thought he would evade her question this time. But he didn’t.
“Yes. Very much so.”
His eyes were telling her more than his simple affirmative answer. Hindi na niya itatanggi ang nakikita niya sa mga mata nito.
Lucky loved her.
But God, was it possible that he was actually in love with her? Like truly loved her? But how could he be in love her when he was dating left and right just a few months ago? ’Di ba kapag nagmahal, dapat ay faithful? Iyong walang ibang gugustuhing makasama kundi ang taong minamahal?
But she quickly realized that she was also being unfair to him. Kung kay Nico nga noon na fiance na niya ay nagsuspetsa siyang baka may ibang mga babaeng kinakalaro ito noon, but she was willing to forgive him for it. She was willing to compromise in that aspect. Tapos ngayon, pagdating kay Lucky ay biglang tataas ang standard niya sa moralidad ng isang lalaki?
No, she should not use his past against him. Kasasabi lang nitong kaya nitong maging faithful kapag mahal nito ang isang babae. Wala namang rason para magsinungaling ito sa kanya. Lucky had always been honest with her. Isa iyon sa labis niyang ipinagpapasalamat sa relasyon nila mula noon bilang magkaibigan. At least, she had one person she could truly, fully trust outside of her family.
Trust. Napakaimportante niyon sa kanya.
She looked away. She suddenly felt like she was at a crossroad. Bigla na lang na ganoon ang nararamdaman niya.
“Hindi ka ba naniniwala?”
Ngumiti siya. “Medyo.”
He bent his head and kissed her hand. “That’s good enough for me now, angel. I promise to make you believe it more each day. I will not tell you how. I will show you.”
Lumapad ang ngiti niya.
Bakit nga ba hindi? Kung magtitiwala man siyang muli, iyon ay walang iba kundi kay Lucky lamang. Kilala na niya ito noon pa. He was an honorable man. A good man.
Hindi na rin niya pwedeng ipagpaliban ang isang bagay. She had to tell him about the baby. Ayaw niyang ipagkait ang karapatang iyon kay Lucky.
For the first time in months, she felt secure with him. She couldn’t wait to tell him about their baby.
Muli niyang tiningnan ito. “Luck?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“For what, angel?”
“For putting up with me the past months. I know I’ve been terrible to deal with. I’m so sorry for everything. Will you let me make it up to you? Please?”
Humigpit ang pagpisil nito sa kamay niya. Lumamlam ang mga mata nito. He opened his mouth to say something, but he seemed speechless for a bit. Muli nitong hinalikan ang kamay niya. Nagbuga ito ng hangin at ngumiti, his eyes, full of emotion. “You have made me very happy today, Kate. You have no idea.”
Matamis ang ganting ngiti niya rito. “Yeah? So, saan mo ako iti-treat for lunch?”
“Sa Polo Club.”
God, mabuti na lang at hindi naubusan ng pasensiya sa kanya si Lucky at bumitaw. Gaano kaya kasakit iyon kapag talagang nangyari? Iyong iwanan din siya nito at hindi na balikan pa? Kakayanin kaya niya? Ayaw niyang isipin. Ang importante, magkasama pa rin sila sa kabila ng lahat. Nalampasan nila ang isang matinding pagsubok. Magkaibigan pa rin sila. Nadagdagan nga lang ang relasyon nila ngayon. They were lovers, and they were going to be parents, as well.
Ramdam niya sa mga sandaling iyon, handa na siyang mag-move on. She would simply think of Lucky and their baby as the silver lining after her heartbreak with Nico.
She decided to give her heart a second chance.
A chance to heal. And maybe love again.
SA POLO CLUB dinala ni Lucky si Kate para mag-lunch at para madalaw rin niya ang mga kabayo niyang naka-kwadra roon. Tatlo ang mga prized Arabian ponies na kasalukuyang ginagamit niya sa paglalaro – sina Wild Card, Spade Ace, at Bad Luck.
Nasa kalahatian na ang Polo season. Abante ng isang panalo ang team niya sa ongoing na President’s Cup Series. May nalalabi pang dalawang laro bago ang overall championship match.
Malapad ang ngiting lumapit si Alexis sa kanilang mesa. “Luck, pare!”
“Mukhang palihim kang nagpa-practice ah,” pang-aalaska niya rito. Kung mayroon mang pinakatusong maglaro ng Polo sa kanilang lahat, si Alexis ’yon. They were never fooled by his devil-may-care, womanizer image. Alexis was in fact a shrewd and ruthless businessman who hated losing. Napaka-competitive nito at maruming makipaglaro kapag nadedehado na.
“Gaganti ako sa ’yo sa susunod na laro. Pakakainin kita ng divot, pare,” ngsising-asong ganti nito.
“Kung kaya mo,” sagot naman niyang natatawa.
“Hello, Katey.” Naging karinyoso ang tinig ni Alexis nang mabaling ang atensiyon nito kay Kate.
“Hello, Alex. How was your European trip?Ginagawa mo lang yatang restroom ang Europe, ah?” Nakangiti nang matamis dito si Kate.
“It was fine. Pero may nadiskubre ako. Walang sinabi ang mga babae sa Europe sa ganda mo.”
Natawa si Kate. “You’re taking it too far, but thanks.”
“No kidding, Kate.” Alexis persisted, giving Kate the grin that Lucky knew too well. He was flirting with his woman right in front of him. Nagsimula ng uminit ang ulo niya sa ginagawa ni Alexis. Nananadya ba ito? Alam naman nitong seryoso siya kay Kate.
“So, kumusta naman ang hacienda ninyo sa Batangas? I heard you’re building a golf course there.”
Nagliwanag lalo ang mukha ni Alexis sa binuksang topic ni Kate. “Yes, it’s beautiful out there this summer. The course is almost finished. Lucky plans to build a hotel there, too. You should see the place, Kate. Kung may bakante kang oras, I can take you there. I’ll personally give you a tour.”
“Oh, that would be lovely, Alex. Luck, you didn’t tell me about this new hotel,” baling ni Kate sa kanya.
“Wala pa namang concrete plan ’yon. And if you wanna see the site, I will take you there myself.” Tiningnan niya nang matalim si Alexis.
Alexis gave him a mischievous grin. “Pag pupunta kayo, magsabi lang kayo. I will meet you there. O, paano, guys, babalik na ako sa field.”
“Yeah, better go back to the field and practice some more, man,” sagot niya. “Next game, you’ll bite the dust again.”
Tumawa ito.“ Sure, Luck. Let’s bet on that. Pero sinasabi ko rin sa ’yo, next time, I’ll get you, buddy. Hey, I’m going. Bye, Kate.“ He winked at Kate and swaggered away, going straight to a table where three socialites welcomed him enthusiastically.
“Grabe ’yang si Alex, ’no? He’s so wild,” komento ni Kate habang naiiling na sinundan ng tingin si Alexis.
“Wild?”
Nagkibit-balikat ito at nagpatuloy na kumain. “I’ve heard about Lothario,” kaswal na banggit nito.
Natigilan siya. He was instantly guarded. Uminom siya nang tubig. “What about it?”
“The things that happen inside that club…They say it’s wild and decadent.”
He had to tread carefully. “Sino’ng nagsabi sa ’yo?”
“Noon pa naman usap-usapan ’yan sa mga parties. Nabanggit sa akin a few times nina Lara at Karen. I remember, nabanggit mo rin once.”
“Hmm.” Tumango-tango lang siya, hindi nagkomento. It was a subject he didn’t want to pursue any further. Lothario members didn’t discuss the club with non-members. It was the club’s foremost credo. Nadulas lang siya minsan kay Kate noon. He found it hard to lie to her, and he didn’t want her asking questions about Lothario. Even though he already gave up his membership, as a past member, he was honor-bound to keep all the secrets of the club and its members.
Nananantiyang tinitigan siya ni Kate. “Member ka ba ng club na ’yon?” biglang tanong nito.
Shit.
Hindi siya umimik at nagpatuloy na kumain. Pahamak talaga ang X na ’yon. Lumapit-lapit pa kasi.
“Luck.” Tumigas ang tinig nito. “Answer me.”
Napabuntong-hininga siya. Paano ba niya iiwasan ang mga tanong nito? “Babe, it’s a man thing. Don’t concern yourself with it,” pagdidismisa niya.
“It’s a man thing huh? Gano’n?” Her eyes were now pointing daggers at him. From the obstinate look on her face, he knew she wouldn’t just drop the subject now. “Nagpupunta ka pa ba roon? When was the last time you went to that club?”
Nagpahid siya ng napkin sa bibig at uminom ng tubig. “What’s the point of this discussion, Kate?”
“Wala. Tinatanong lang kita nang matino kaya sagutin mo ako nang matino.” Her eyes were dead serious.
Inabot niya ang isang kamay nito pero iniiwas nito iyon.
He sighed. He had no choice. He looked at her straight in the eye and surrendered the last bastion of his autonomy as a bachelor. He was about to break the number one Lothario rule.
“Yes, member ako dati. Hindi na ngayon.” Idiniin niya ang huli.
Umangat ang mga kilay nito, mukhang hindi naniniwala sa kanya. Ilang saglit siyang tinitigan nito, her eyes full of distrust.
“Totoo ba na may mga babae sa club na ’yon? Mga babaeng bayaran? Na pwede ninyong maikama kung gustuhin ninyo? Is it true that it’s a high-class brothel?”
Gusto niyang takbuhan ang straight-forward na mga tanong nito. For so long, he had lived the lothario life unapologetically. This was the first time that he felt sorry about it, that he regretted being a member of that club, partaking in its decadent lifestyle like a modern-day libertine.
“Kate, I swear, I’ve never touched another woman since the night we first made love. I could never–”
“Member din ba roon si Nico?”
Hindi kaagad siya nakasagot. Sa loob ng mga buwang nakalipas, ngayon lang nito narinig na banggitin nito nang sadya ang pangalan ng dating nobyo. Uminit ang dugo niya sa inis. That he had to face Nico’s sins to her instead of the bastard himself, was so unfair.
Moreover, she was putting him in a very difficult situation. Admitting his membership in that club was one thing, but snitching on another member was like a mortal sin.
“Wala akong pakialam sa kanya, Kate,” pag-iwas niya.
“Sa kanya wala, pero sa akin, meron. He was my ex-fiance. But are you my ex-best friend, too?”
Tumingin siya sa malayo. Para siyang nasukol na hayop sa isang sulok. No hope for escape. Shit ka, Nico!
“Please, Luck, tell me. You’re the only one whose word I will trust regarding this matter.”
He realized in that moment, he would break any rule for her. “Yes, he is.”
Napamaang ito. Her eyes registered hurt. He’d vowed to never hurt her, but this seemed inevitable.
“You mean to tell me, all along ay pareho kayong miyembro ni Nico at madalas kayong nagkikita sa club na ’yon?”
Hindi siya makasagot.
“Dati mo nang alam pero wala ka man lang nababanggit sa akin?”
“Hindi sa ganoon, babe…”
“Do you realize how humiliating it was for me na sa ibang tao ko pa nalaman ang kataksilan niya sa akin?”
“I thought you knew and you said it was okay dahil hindi pa naman kayo kasal…”
Nagsiklab na ang galit nito. “I knew he was unfaithful, but I didn’t know you also knew and you just turned a blind eye! You didn’t even have the decency to tell me all this time! How could you, Luck? I trusted you!” impit na asik nito sa kanya. May mga ibang customers sa restaurant, pero mabuti na lang at nasa isang corner table sila, malayo-layo sa iba.
Napipi siya. Hindi niya inaasahan ang ganitong komprontasyon ngayong araw. Their day started so great, and now, it was in the pits again. Hindi niya napaghandaan ang kanyang depensa. Hindi niya alam kung paano ipapaliwanag dito ang lahat. She caught him totally off-guard.
“I’m sorry…” was all he could say.
“I thought you were my friend, Luck? Naatim mong tingnan lang habang ginagawa niya sa akin iyon?” Puno ng hinanakit ang mga mata nito, namamasa na sa luha.
Gusto na niyang magmura sa galit. Napaka-unfair naman ng mga nangyayari! Si Nico ang nagloko, hindi siya, pero parang siya pa ang may kasalanan sa ginawa nito. Si DL nga ay miyembro rin ng Lothario, pero hindi nito sinabi kay Kate ang mga ginagawa ni Nico. DL and him didn’t turn a blind eye on Nico’s shenanigans. They just both trusted Nico that he would honor his betrothal to Kate once it was time for him to marry Kate. They both considered Nico’s engagement to Kate as a business deal rather than a romantic relationship. Dahil doon, pinalagpas nila ang mga kalokohan ni Nico habang ’di pa ito kasal kay Kate. After all, gawain din naman nila iyon sa Lothario. Yeah, bottom line, it was a man thing. A Lothario thing.
It was only then that he realized how fucked up it was from Kate’s perspective. It was pure chauvinism and he was ashamed of himself now.
“I asked you several times before if you knew. You denied it every time. Mas kinampihan mo pa siya kesa sa akin. You covered for him. Mas loyal ka sa kanya bilang co-member mo kesa sa akin na best friend mo.”
She was getting it wrong, and also right. God, what a fucking mess! Kailan ba matatapos ito? “Kate, please, let me explain…”
Tumayo ito.
“Babe, saan ka pupunta? Mag-usap pa tayo–”
“I don’t think this is the right place for this conversation. Pupunta lang ako sa restroom,” garalgal ang boses at walang lingon-likod na iniwan siya nito.
Tuluyan na siyang nawalan ng ganang kumain.
This was a clusterfuck of mess Nico had left behind, and he was the one being punished for it. He should have told Kate about Nico, pero aaminin niyang may ulterior motive siya noon kaya niya hinayaan si Nico sa mga kalokohan nito. Ang totoo, binabalak niyang gamitin ang mga infidelities ni Nico laban mismo dito. Parang mga alas na inipon niya ang mga impormasyong iyon para gamitin sa tamang panahon at pagkakataon, pero hindi rin naman niya nagawang ibisto si Nico kay Kate hanggang sa huling sandali. Naduwag rin siya. Hindi niya kayang manggaling sa kanya ang katotohanang alam niyang sobrang makakasakit kay Kate.
And now, he was paying for that cowardice.
Yes, it may seem to her now that he had been more loyal to Lothario than to their friendship.
God, what was he going to do? He didn’t want to lose her trust and this was a major breach of trust between them. Kung kelan naging maayos na ang samahan nila, saka naman nangyari ito.
Hinintay niya si Kate na bumalik mula sa restroom. Nagtagal ito roon. Alam niyang wala na rin itong balak na ituloy pa ang pagkain kaya nang lumapit ang waiter ay pumayag na siyang iligpit nito ang pinagkainan nila.
He stood up and went to the ladies’ room. Alam niyang naroon pa rin si Kate sa loob dahil wala namang ibang exit ang restaurant na hindi daraan sa mesang inokupa nila. Ilang minuto rin siyang nakatitig sa bukana ng rest room, inaabangan ang paglabas nito.
May mga babaing papasok, mga kakilala niya.
“Luck, what are you doing here?” tanong ng isa.
“Uh, hinihintay ko si Kate. She’s in there. Pakisabi, andito ako sa labas.”
“Okay, I will.”
“Thanks, Minie.”
Maya-maya pa’y lumabas na si Kate. Nakasuot na ito ng sunglasses. Alam niya kung bakit. Umiyak ito sa loob. Lalo siyang nginatngat ng guilt.
“Kate…’” He felt so helpless at that moment.
“Gusto ko ng umuwi.”
“Babe….”
I don’t want to talk anymore, Luck. Please, just take me home.“ Mabilis ang lakad nito, tuloy-tuloy sa labas ng restaurant. Napilitan siyang humabol dito at tinawagan ang kanyang driver na nasa parking lot.
Sa loob ng sasakyan ay nakakabingi ang katahimikan sa pagitan nila. This kind of silence was unlike anything they’d had before. It scared him more than anything else.
The silence of betrayal.
His betrayal.
23
SOUNDTRACK
BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES by Kelly Clarkson
“HIJA, NARIYAN SI LUCKY.”
Sinulyapan ni Kate ang alarm clock sa side table. Pasado alas-dose na nang hatinggabi. Bumangon siya mula sa kama. “Bakit daw, Mom?”
“Hindi sinabi, pero mukhang balisang-balisa. May problema yata. Puntahan mo siya sa ibaba, kawawa naman.”
“Sige, Mom. Ako na ang bahala. Matulog na ho kayo.”
“Okay. Goodnight, hija.”
Sa pool side niya natagpuan si Lucky, nakapamulsa ang mga kamay na nakatitig sa kalmanteng tubig ng swimming pool na naiilawan mula sa ilalim. Lumingon ito nang maramdamang naroon na siya.
“I’m sorry, natutulog ka na ba?”
Umupo siya sa isang wrought iron chair. “Bakit ka nandito, Luck? Gabing-gabi na.”
Umupo ito sa kaharap niyang silya. “Hindi ako makatulog. Iniisip ko ang pinag-usapan natin kanina tungkol kay Nico. We need to talk about it, babe.”
Ilang oras din siyang nag-isip. Hindi niya maintindihan bakit nito nagawang magsinungaling sa kanya. All this time, hindi pala ito honest sa kanya, at sa napakaimportanteng bagay pa naman sa buhay niya. She felt utterly betrayed by him.
Pero pagod na siyang magalit. Naubos na yata ang galit niya kay Nico. Wala na siyang lakas na magalit pa kay Lucky. Ang nararamdaman na lamang niya ay kawalan. Namanhid na yata ng puso niya. Maghapon lang siyang nakatitig sa kisame, pero halos wala ng pumatak na luha sa mga mata niya.
“Wala ka ng dapat ipaliwanag sa akin. It was his choice, and it was yours, too. Wala na akong magagawa pa.” Walang buhay ang boses niya. She felt dead inside.
“Meron, Kate. Marami akong dapat ipaliwanag sa ’yo. May ipagtatapat ako sa ’yo.”
Tumingin siya nang diretso sa mga mata nito, hinintay ang kung ano mang sasabihin nito. Mas may sasakit pa ba sa nalaman niya kanina?
Ginagap nito ang mga kamay niya. “Totoong matagal ko ng alam na member ng Lothario si Nico. Sabay kaming naging members. Yes, he had sexual activities with the women there. We both did. Even DL knew about this.”
Parang napasong hinila niya ang mga kamay mula sa pagkakahawak nito.
“Kate, makinig ka muna sa akin. Please?” May pagsusumamo sa mga mata at tinig nito.
Hindi siya nagsalita, hinayaan lang itong magsalita.
“Totoong hindi ko siya pinakialaman. Bilang lalaki, kahit papaano’y naiintindihan ko ang sitwasyon niya. Wala kayong sexual intimacy, and he had needs as a man. Pero alam kong pangangailangan lang ’yon ng katawan. Hindi naman siya emotionally involved sa mga babaing ’yon. Ikaw pa rin naman ang pinapahalagahan niya, ang gusto niyang pakasalan. I was sure of that then. And he was discreet about this then. I was sure of that, too. Nitong mga huli lang naman siya hindi na nag-ingat.”
Hindi siya makapaniwala sa mga naririnig. Doon muling bumangon ang galit niya na akala niya’y naubos na. “That is pure bullshit, Luck! You actually believed that?”
“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings unnecessarily then. I swear, angel. I thought I was shielding your from pain. I just wanted you to be happy. Inisip ko na hindi mo naman kailangang malaman pa ang mga iyon. I thought they were useless information. He would marry you eventually anyway.”
“Really? He was screwing women behind my back and you thought it was okay? Yes, I suspected it, but knowing now that you knew and you thought it was okay actually hurts me more than Nico cheating on me. I expected more from you than him, Luck. Ikaw ang best friend ko eh.”
“Kate. God…Hindi ko sinasadya na magkaganoon, angel. Please, believe me.”
“Pareho lang kayo ni Nico! All you ever cared about was your stupid ego. Your macho bullshit!” Tumayo siya at pumunta sa gilid ng pool. “Pinagtatawanan na ako ng buong bayan, balewala lang sa ’yo? Kung hindi pa ipinakita sa akin ni Karen ’yong blind item sa isang gossip blog, wala akong kamalay-malay. Ginawa ninyo akong tanga! Lalo ka na!”
“I just wanted to protect you, baby.”
“By lying to me?! How noble of you!”
He shook his head, utter guilt in his eyes.
Lumaylay ang mga balikat niya. Parang biglang pagod na pagod siya. Lies after lies. Betrayal after betrayal. Wala na bang katapusan ito? Hindi na yata niya kaya.
“Para ano pa at pinag-uusapan natin ito, Luck? Wala rin namang saysay kahit ano pa ang malaman ko tungkol sa nakaraan. It was over and done with. It won’t change anything.”
Lumapit ito sa kanya, hinawi ang ilang hibla ng mga buhok na nahulog sa harapan ng mukha niya. His hand was warm but she felt chilly inside.
“Bago kayo ikinasal, pinuntahan ko siya at kinausap. Pinagbantaan ko siya nang masama. I threatened to kill him if he didn’t become a good and faithful husband to you. Pinapili ko siya between you and that woman he was shacking up with on his island. I pressured him to make a choice.”
Oh God. These revelations were too much. Too much!
Hindi niya napigil ang muling pagdaloy ng mga luha. Akala niya ay ubos na. Hindi pa pala.
HALOS HINDI MATAGALAN ni Lucky ang nakikitang matinding pait sa mga mata ni Kate. This time around, it was him who caused this pain.
“God, I’m sorry, angel. I honestly thought I was doing what was best for you under the circumstances. He didn’t say a thing to me. Iyon ang huli naming pag-uusap ni Nico.”
“Instead of talking to me and telling me the truth, you went to him and threatened him, so he would be pressured not to choose me?!”
“Kate, I–”
“Don’t lie, damn you! You didn’t want what was best for me! You wanted what was best for you! You wanted to break us up! You deliberately went out of your way to ruin my wedding?! Why, Luck? Why?!”
He felt so helpless and guilty. Yes, he deliberately planted a seed of doubt in Nico’s mind and he covered it with a calculated threat. It worked. Ang banta niya ay hindi tumakot kay Nico, bagkus iyon ang nagbigay lakas-loob dito upang tuluyang putulin ang relasyon nito kay Kate. He made the equation simpler for Nico, narrowing down his choices.
But it was also a moment of truth for him and Nico. Kung pinili ni Nico si Kate, he would have lost her forever. But Nico chose the woman he loved at the last minute. It was a bittersweet victory for him, and a devastating loss to Kate. It was a cross he would forever bear in his conscience for the rest of his life. Ang nagpapalakas lang sa loob niya ay ang isiping gagawin niya ang lahat para muling maging masaya si Kate. Lahat ay gagawin niya mapatawad lang siya nito, pero hindi niya sasaluin ang lahat ng pagkakamali. He may have betrayed her trust in order to protect her and in so doing advance his personal interest, but he was not the one who left her for another woman. That line had to be drawn clearly between them.
“If I have to beg your forgiveness on my knees, I will, Kate. Sa maniwala ka’t sa hindi, ginawa ko iyon para siguruhing hindi ka mapunta sa lalaking hindi ka naman mahal at maging miserable lang ang buhay mo sa piling niya. Kung kasalanan man iyon, I beg your forgiveness with everything in me. I’m so sorry, angel. Pero hindi ko aakuin ang lahat ng kasalanan kung bakit ka iniwan ni Nico. May sarili siyang pag-iisip. Kung anuman ang nasabi ko sa kanya, iyon ay bunga ng labis kong pagmamalasakit sa kapakanan mo. Pero kung talagang mahal ka niya, babalewalain niya ang anumang sinabi ko. But he left you instead. He made his choice. I went to see him months before your wedding, giving him enough time to decide, but he made his decision at the last minute. Napakasakit mang tanggapin, pero iyon ang katotohanan, Kate.”
Sinugod siya nito at pinagbabayo sa dibdib. “Why, why, why?!”
He grasped her shoulders firmly and shook her. “Kate, Hindi ako si Nico! Huwag mong ibunton sa akin ang naging kasalanan niya sa ’yo! I don’t deserve your misplaced hatred.”
Napahagulgol ito. Akma niyang yayakapin ito pero itinulak siya nito. Binitiwan niya ito.
Parang nauupos na kandilang napaluhod ito sa sahig, yakap ang sarili.
Lumuhod siya sa harapan nito. “Kate, please don’t do this to yourself, angel. It’s over. Let it go.” Hinagod niya ang likod nito. “Let it go.”
Yumuyugyog ang mga balikat nito sa pag-iyak. “Ang dami kong sinayang na panahon para sa kanya, tapos gano’n lang. He didn’t love me. He never did! Ang tanga-tanga ko! Ang tanga-tanga ko!”
Niyakap niya ito nang mahigpit. “Shh, he did, angel. He did love you, I do believe that, but just not enough to spend the rest of his life with you. Just not enough.”
Lalo itong umiyak. Parang madudurog ang puso niya sa naririnig.
Binuhat niya ito. Naglakad-lakad siya sa palibot ng swimming pool habang paulit-ulit na humihingi ng tawad dito.
Nang mapagod ay umupo siya sa isang lounger, kinandong ito. Matagal sila sa ganoong posisyon, hanggang sa tumahan ito at humihikbi na lang sa kanyang dibdib. Kapwa sila tahimik na nakatitig sa kawalan.
“Mabuti ka pa, Luck,” mahinang sabi nito maya-maya.
Masuyong hinagod niya ang buhok nito.
“Relationships, I’m not good at. Too much, I can’t give. I finally see the true wisdom in those words.”
“Angel, hindi ko ibig sabihin na…ang ibig kong sabihin doon ay…”
“Shh,” sansala nito. “Naiintindihan na kita. I truly understand now. It’s okay. Tanggap ko na ang lahat.”
No, you don’t understand, angel. Hindi mo ako naiintindihan. But it seemed futile to explain to her further right now. She’d been through so much today. He was just thankful she was no longer crying.
Hinalikan niya ito sa noo. “You’re a beautiful, smart, kind and loving woman.”
Malungkot itong natawa. “Binobola mo na naman ako.”
“Sexy, adorable, classy–”
Tinampal nito ang braso niya. “Stop. Ano’ng kinalaman ng mga ’yan sa topic?”
“You will love again, angel. At may lalaking nakatakdang magmahal sa ’yo nang lubos at tapat.”
Huminga ito nang malalim. “I don’t know, Luck. I don’t think I would ever love again… If I could ever trust again. I’m tired of being lied to, of being treated like I don’t have a mind of my own. I’m just so tired…”
Her words were a double-edged knife twisting in his gut.
She stood up from his lap. “It’s very late. I think you should go.”
Malungkot na tumayo na rin siya. Naglakad sila papasok sa mansiyon, tinawid ang malawak na kabahayan hanggang marating nila ang main entrance. Sa may pintuan, ginawaran siya nito ng halik sa pisngi. “Thanks, Luck. For everything. You’re still my very best friend.”
“You’re my very best friend, too, angel. Always.”
She smiled and nodded, but her eyes were lifeless. He killed the light in them today, and it was breaking his heart, as well.
“Good night, angel.”
“Night.”
24
SOUNDTRACK
I BELIEVE by Christina Perri
“HOY, KATRINA, what’s with you lately, girl? Palagi ka na lang nakatulala riyan.”
Wala sa loob na nilingon ni Kate si Karen. Nagkita-kita silang magbabarkada sa condo ni Nessa. Naghanda ito ng dinner para sa kanila. Katatapos lang nilang kumain at nagpapahangin sila sa balkonahe ng condo. Umiinom ng wine ang mga kaibigan niya samantalang tubig lang ang sa kanya.
“Sorry, medyo pagod lang ako lately. Maraming trabaho,” pagdadahilan niya.
“Are you sure? You know we’re just here if you need to talk about anything,” worried ding sabi ni Nessa.
Ngumiti siya. “I’m okay. Don’t worry too much about me.”
Nagsindi ng sigarilyo si Lara.
“Please, don’t smoke,” pakiusap niya rito.
Nagtaka si Lara. “Why? Dati naman akong naninigarilyo sa harap n’yo ah. Saka ngayon lang naman ito after like a week. I’m trying to cut down my consumption.”
“Are you sure you’re okay, Kate?” muling tanong ni Karen. “Hey, Lara, patayin mo nga muna ’yan.”
Nagkibit-balikat na sumunod naman ito, idinutdot sa ashtray ang hawak na yosi.
Nakatingin sa kanya ang mga kaibigan, nag-aalala ang mga mukha.
“I said I’m fine. Really.”
“Hindi eh. May dinaramdam ka,” si Nessa.
“I saw Nico the other day, sa isang product launching ng SGC. Client sila ng company namin. Nakasalubong ko siya, so I said hi,” pasimpleng sabi ni Lara.
“Hindi ’yon, shunga!” sansala ni Nessa rito. “Teka, you said hi to him? Traydora ka. Dapat dinedma mo. O kaya’y sinipa sa balls!”
“Hush, you two,” pananaway ni Karen sa dalawa.
“She has no know, Kary,” depensa naman ni Lara sa sarili. “Malay mo, makasalubong din niya ’yong tao. Maliit lang naman ang Makati. Mabuti na ’yong handa siya.”
“Aw, shut up!” angil na ni Karen dito.
“Hey!” protesta ni Lara. “May masama ba sa sinabi ko? I also care about Kate’s feelings. Mas practical lang ang approach ko kaysa inyo. Mas realistic.”
“Guys, guys…” Itinaas niya ang kamay. “It’s okay. Hindi ako mahinang klase ng tao na guguho ang mundo kapag nagkasalubong kami ng ex ko. It’s inevitable. I’ll be okay. Really. No worries.”
“Ang laki ng ipinayat ni Nico, guys. Parang sobrang depressed,” dugtong pa ni Lara.
Karen rolled her eyes. “Sana ma-dead na siya, hayop siya.”
“Uy, huwag, kawawa naman,” si Lara. “Baka sising-sisi na ’yon na hindi natuloy ang kasal ninyo, Kate.”
“Dapat lang na magsisi siya habambuhay. Pinakawalan niya si Kate. Ang tanga lang. Super great catch kaya ng BFF natin,” sabi naman ni Nessa.
Tumayo siya at nag-excuse. Tinungo niya ang banyo. Naririnig pa niyang nagtatalo ang tatlo. Isinara niya ang pinto.
Tinitigan niya ang sarili sa vanity mirror. She could see what her friends were seeing. Her lifeless eyes. Her pale face. The dark circles around her eyes.
Hindi siya nakakatulog nang maayos nitong nakaraang mga araw kaya’t para siyang zombie na palaging lutang ang utak.
Ayaw niyang magpadala sa nararamdaman. Nag-aalala siya para sa kanyang baby. Pero ang bigat lang dalhin sa loob niya ang lahat. Ang bigat-bigat. Nakakaahon na sana siya, pero natutulak siya pabalik sa depression.
Naghilamos siya. Hindi. Hindi siya dapat na maigupong muli ng lungkot at sama ng loob. Lalagpasan niya ito. Kakayanin niya ang lahat alang-alang sa kanyang magiging anak.
Hinaplos niya ang sinapupunan.
It’s just you and me now, my little angel. Just you and me.
PAGDATING NI KATE, naroon si Lucky, kakwentuhan ni DL sa sala ng kanilang mansiyon. Mag-aalas-diyes na nang gabi.
Nakita na siya ng dalawa kaya hindi na siya makakaiwas. Lumapit na lang siya sa mga ito.
“Hey, sis!” masayang bati ng kanyang kapatid sa kanya. “Kanina ka pa hinihintay niyan,” tukoy nito kay Lucky.
“Hey, bro. Luck.”
Tumayo si Lucky at humalik sa pisngi niya. “Dinaanan kita sa boutique kanina. Sabi ni Aina nakipagkita ka raw kina Karen kaya dito na lang kita hinintay.”
“Nessa cooked dinner sa condo niya. Doon kami kumain. Nagkwentuhan na rin.”
“You okay? You look pale.” He touched her shoulder gently, squeezing.
His touch felt good and hurt at the same time. Posible pala ’yon. Hiniling niya rito na hindi muna sila magkita nang ilang araw, pero pangalawang araw pa lamang ay narito na ito sa kanilang bahay.
“Geez, does this mean I’m being dismissed?” sabat ni DL.
“Nope, brother. I’m going to bed. He’s all yours.” Tiningnan niya si Lucky at ngumiti nang malamlam.
He opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t.
“Goodnight, Luck,” sabi niya at iniwan ang dalawa.
Ayaw niyang makahalata ng kung anumang tensiyon sa pagitan nila ni Lucky si DL. Matalas pa naman ang pakiramdam ng kanyang kapatid. Over-protective ito sa kanya at ayaw niyang mawala ang respeto nito kay Lucky. Her brother hated Nico with a vengeance.
Hindi man niya tahasang inamin sa pamilya niya na pinagtaksilan siya ni Nico kaya hindi natuloy ang kanilang kasal, her family had somehow surmised that it was Nico who called off their wedding kahit pareho naman silang hindi sumipot sa simbahan. Hindi miminsang nabanggit ni DL na baka masaktan nito si Nico kapag muling nagkurus ang mga landas ng mga ito. Sa kabila ng lahat, ayaw niyang masali sa shit list ni DL si Lucky.
Mabigat ang mga hakbang na umakyat siya sa kanyang silid sa second floor.
She felt suffocated. Sakal na sakal na siya. There was so much to say and so much to keep to herself. Hindi na siya makahinga.
God, she just wanted out. She didn’t know where she wanted to go. Just out of here.
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, LUCK?
“Huh?” Ibinalik ni Lucky ang tingin kay DL matapos sundan ng tingin si Kate hanggang makaakyat ito sa second floor.
Nang-aarok ang titig sa kanya ni DL. “You worried about her?”
He sighed and took a swig from his beer bottle. “Yeah.” He did not elaborate.
“I’m worried about her, too. She’s not the same. I thought she was actually getting better, pero mukhang matamlay na naman ulit.”
Hindi siya nakaimik. He didn’t know what to say to Kate’s brother. DL respected him, treated him like a brother, pero alam niyang magagalit ito sa kanya kapag nalaman nitong pinakialaman niya si Kate. Handa rin naman siyang harapin ang galit nito kung sakali. Pananagutan naman niya si Kate. Kaso, si Kate naman ang ayaw na panagutan niya. He thought he was finally making a headway into her heart, ngunit nagkalamat naman agad. Kasalanan niya ang lahat. She had all the right to be angry with him. Kahit pa maganda naman ang intensiyon niya, nasaktan pa rin niya ito. Tama naman lahat ang sinabi nito. He should have been honest with her from the start. She owed it to her as her bestfriend. Hindi na niya maibabalik pa ang nangyari na kaya’t magtitiis siyang suyuin itong muli hanggang sa muling bumalik ang tiwala nito sa kanya.
“Damn Nico!” pagmumura ni DL. “Huwag ko lang siyang makita ulit, Luck. ’Tangina niya…” Ikinuyom nito ang mga kamay.
Napatiim-bagang siya habang nakatingin sa poot na naghahari sa mga mata ni DL. One day soon, he would merit the same hatred. Or more.
TUMUNOG ang cellphone ni Kate.
Tumatawag si Lucky. Ayaw sana niyang sagutin, pero tinanggap din niya ang tawag. “Hello.”
“Sorry. Natutulog ka na ba?”
“Hindi pa naman. Bakit, Luck?”
Narinig niya ang buntong-hininga nito sa kabilang linya. “Galit ka pa ba sa akin, babe?”
Pumikit siya. Halo-halo ang nararamdaman niya. Pagkasabik dito. Matinding hinanakit. May parte ng kalooban niya na gustong bumaba para makasama ito kahit saglit, pero mas malakas ang pwersang pumipigil sa kanya. His betrayal was still fresh, and yet it already felt like an old wound that hadn’t healed through the years.
“You hurt me.”
She heard his ragged breathing. “I know, baby, and I’m so sorry. What do you want me to do? What shall I do for you to forgive me?”
In spite of herself, she felt a melting feeling at the tone of desperation in his voice. Wala sigurong ibang taong nakakakita sa mga kahinaan nito. Siya lang. Alam niyang siya lang. Hindi tipo ni Lucky ang mapagkumbaba. Mataas ang pride nito.
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. Alam mo ba ang isang bagay na sobrang pinapahalagahan ko sa friendship natin? Ang tiwala natin sa isa’t isa. Nawala na ’yon.”
He sighed deeply.
“I’m tired, Luck. Matutulog na ako.”
“Okay, baby. Aalis na ako.”
“Good night.”
Pinindot na niya ang ‘end call’ button. Tumihaya siya at tumitig sa canopy na kanyang kama.
Ang sakit-sakit ng loob niya, pero bakit namamanhid naman ang pakiramdam niya? Mayroon palang ganitong klase ng sakit. Iyong gusto niyang iiyak na lang para lumuwag ang dibdib niya, pero wala na siyang enerhiya para umiyak.
God, she was so tired…
LUCKY HATED the emptiness in Kate’s eyes. Magkasama silang kumakain ngayong araw ng lunch pero halos hindi sila nag-uusap. He tried to open a conversation pero monosyllabic ito. Nilalaro-laro nito ng hawak na kutsara ang pagkain nito sa plato, halos hindi siya tingnan.
Kung noon ay umiinit ang ulo niya kapag ini-ignore siya nito nang ganito, ngayon ay takot ang nadarama niya sa sobrang katahimikan nito. Noon ay gagawa siya ng paraan para pukawin ang atensiyon nito even to the point of railroading her to respond to him, pero ngayon ay hindi niya alam ang gagawin.
She was lifeless, and it was killing him inside. Hindi niya alam kung paano makakabawi rito. Gusto niyang alisin ang anumang paghihirap ng kalooban nito, pero paano niya gagawin iyon gayong siya ang dahilan kung bakit ito nasasaktan?
He missed her laughter so much. He missed touching her. But he was afraid to touch her now knowing he had hurt her deeply. It had been a week since they last made love. Miss na miss na niya ito, pero hindi na niya magawang gamitin ang sex para paamuin itong muli. Hindi niya maatim. She might end up hating him more.
Naroon na naman ang pader na nakaharang sa kanila. At mas makapal pa ngayon, mas mataas. Siya ang dahilan kung bakit may pader na ulit, at hindi niya alam paano titibagin iyon nang hindi niya ito muli pang masaktan.
Maya-maya’y inilapag nito ang hawak na kutsara at nagpahid ng bibig gamit ang table napkin. “Tapos na akong kumain.”
“But you hardly touched your food, babe.”
“Wala akong gana.”
“Dessert?”
Umiling ito. “Kung tapos ka na, gusto ko ng bumalik sa boutique. May dapat akong asikasuhing mga papeles.”
Napilitan siyang tawagin ang waiter at nagbayad na.
Nilisan nila ang restaurant na iyon sa BGC. Lulan ng kanyang sasakyan, inihatid niya itong muli sa Rockwell Center.
“Kate…” marahan niyang tawag dito habang nasa daan sila.
“Hmm?” anito na nakatingin sa labas ng bintana.
“Please, talk to me, angel.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Anything. Just don’t shut me out. Magalit ka sa akin, saktan mo ako, kahit ano, just don’t stop talking to me like this. Nahihirapan na ako, angel.”
Ilang segundo rin ang lumipas bago ito nagsalita.
“The funny thing is, just like you, I was willing to turn a blind eye, too.”
Alam niyang si Nico ang tinutukoy nito.
Tumuwid ito ng upo at tumingin sa glass partition sa harapan nila. “I was so desperate. Nararamdaman ko na nag-iba na siya. But I was such a coward, too. Natakot ako na hindi na matuloy ang kasal namin. Natakot ako na iwanan niya ako.”
Parang nagmo-monologue ito, kinakausap ang sarili.
“So, I pressed him for a wedding date. I pressured him to choose me, too.”
Hindi siya nagsalita. Gusto niyang ilabas nito ang saloobin. Nakinig lang siya.
“Pareho lang tayong naduwag. Mas pinili natin na iwalang-bahala ang nararamdaman ng mga taong mahal natin dahil takot tayong mawalan tayo sa huli.”
That was true, to a certain extent, but he didn’t interrupt or correct her. He just wanted her to go on talking.
“Pero alam mo ba…” Gumaralgal ang boses nito. “Alam mo ba na ikaw ang lakas ko noon, Luck? Sa ’yo ako humuhugot ng tapang na ipaglaban ang karapatan ko. Ang taas-taas ng tingin ko sa ’yo.”
Uminit ang sulok ng mga mata niya.
“Lahat ng mga sabihin mo sa akin noon, sinusunod ko. In everything I did, I sought your advice. I valued your opinion so much. Idol nga kita eh. You were my hero.”
Tumulo ang mga luha nito. Parang may isanlibong mga karayom ang tumutusok sa puso niya.
“Iniisip ko na…ano kaya kung sinabi mo sa akin ang lahat noon? Malamang nakinig ako sa ’yo. Kasi…Kasi ikaw lang naman ang inaasahan kong tutulong sa akin eh. Iyong magtatanggol sa akin kung napapahamak na ako. Kasi, ang hina ko noon. Sunod-sunuran lang ako kina Mommy at Daddy. Pero ando’n ka, ang lakas-lakas mo, ang tali-talino, ang tapang-tapang. You went to battle to save my father. I was so sure you would do the same for me. I felt so safe with you in my corner.”
Tumulo ang kanyang mga luha.
“Pero bakit mo ako pinabayaan, Luck? Bakit mo ako hinayaang mapunta sa ganoon? Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin ang katotohanan? I needed you then. I was so afraid and I needed you to tell me. Makikinig naman ako sa ’yo eh. Hindi ako nakinig sa ibang tao, pero kung ikaw ang nagsabi sa akin, kahit masakit, makikinig ako. Maniniwala ako sa ’yo.”
“I thought you loved him.”
Noon siya nilingon nito. “I thought you loved me.”
Muling nadurog ang puso niya. God, what twisted irony is this?
“Kaya I’m sorry kung nahihirapan akong patawarin ka sa ngayon. Hindi ako galit sa ’yo. Sobrang disappointed lang. Alam kong mabuti ang intensiyon mo. Kaya lang…kaya lang…” Imiling-iling ito.
“I understand, baby. I understand.”
Namagitan ang katahimikan. Sa mga sandaling iyon, kay layo nito sa kanya kahit katabi lang niya ito at abot-kamay. At hindi niya magawang hawakan ito tulad ng dati. Nahihiya siya sa sarili. Until this moment, he had never fully realized how he had betrayed their friendship. When he went to see Nico, he was not acting as her best friend, he was acting as a desperate man so afraid of losing the love of his life to another man. Sa puntong iyon, wala siyang kwentang matalik na kaibigan.
Still, he mustered the courage to ask her. “I will not ask you to forgive me now, Kate. I will wait until you’re ready to do so. But please, baby, don’t shut me out. Let me earn your trust again. Please. Another chance?”
“I can’t promise you anything. I need time.”
“No promises. Take your time, angel.”
Marahang tumango ito.
Naghiwalay sila ng araw na iyon na parehong lumuluha. He wanted to rage at the heavens. Bakit ang lupit ng kapalaran sa kanya? All he ever wanted was for her to be happy. Sa puntong iyon, isa siyang lalaking sobrang nagmamahal sa isang babae na ginawa ang lahat para sa akala niyang ikaliligaya nito. Kahit na siya ang maging talunan, nagparaya siya. Kahit durog na durog siya, nagbigay siya.
He thought he was doing the right thing.
It turned out, it was all for nothing.
VOTES AND COMMENTS ARE SUPER APPRECIATED
XOXO
AUTHOR NOTE
This story was published more than a decade ago. Those who were fortunate to get a copy of this book in those times were lucky, pun intended, because it’s now out of print and out of the circ. I’m still keeping my hopes up that PHR will reprint it. If not, then you’re still in luck, because you’re reading it here with a reloaded version for FREE.
15 years or so since I wrote this story have added more to my experiences as a woman and as a writer. Therefore, I have a lot more to say now than before. To give it a fresh and timely feel, I added more dimension to Lucky and Kate’s points of view in this Watty version because I felt that I had left out a lot of things unsaid in the orig version. You understood Kate less before because I honestly think I didn’t write her thoughts more eloquently and cohesively. Blame my newbieness in those times. Now I have the chance to do a makeover of Kate’s personality, and here we are. What I’m doing is not really changing Kate per se, but adding more layers to her character. If before you saw her as merely a very sheltered heiress hurting and resentful of her controlling family and the alpha males that basically put her on a leash, now you see her actually fighting for her place in this world, a place she actually owns without anybody’s permission. This is a coming of age for her, so to speak.
The lives of the elite and extremely wealthy people are different from the lives of ordinary folks. Because of their vast wealth and power, their patriarchs are motivated to preserve their wealth, and like kings of the olden times, they use their children as pawns to advance their interests, to forge alliances, to strengthen their power. The children know this too and they are brainwashed to see this perspective from a young age. Marry for the good of the family. In the East and the West, it’s the same. Watch Korean soaps and you will see this plot over and over. They are even more pragmatic in their approach. Western soaps are in fact more subtle as they like to think of themselves as nondiscriminatory, a fantasy for them really. It holds no meaning in the grand scheme of things. Bottom line, power is power, and only power begets more power. Marriage is merely a means to an end.
But there are those who rebel against this system and forge their own paths. They are VERY rare though.
Kate is living in this world controlled by men. Men who wield all the power. But she is finally breaking away from it. She wants to forge her own path. So, you either champion her fight for her independence no matter what’s at take, or hate her for it. Does this mean you want her to swallow the system like a submissive for the rest of her life? No voice? No decision of her own?
Lucky is part of the system she is rebelling from. In fact, he is THE SYSTEM. He is the quintessential romance hero in historical books. A king. A master. Alpha to the bone. I may have portrayed him here as a loving martyr for his love for Kate (due to the fact that I as the author chose to open his thoughts for all to see), but look closely, he is a controlling, manipulative chauvinist all the way through.
Lucky must learn how to love his woman outside of the system.
It’s hard for him though. Alpha habits are hard to break.
Good thing I train my Lotharios to become lovable assholes. See? Most are on Lucky’s Team.
On second thought, I don’t think it’s a good thing anymore.
Poor Kate. She’s getting all the flak.
xoxo
25
SOUNDTRACK
BETTER IN TIME by Leona Lewis
“NAPAPANSIN KONG NAPAKATAKAW MO NGAYON.”
Huminto sa pagnguya si Kate, tumingin kay Lucky na nakaupo sa tabi niya. Nangingiti ito habang pinagmamasdan siya. Simisimsim ito ng merlot samantalang siya ay tubig lang, pero nakadalawang balik na siya sa buffet table.
Nagpatuloy siya sa pagkain at hindi ito pinansin. Nasa villa sila ng kanyang Tita Selena para suportahan ang fundraiser nito. Si Lucky ay isa sa mga primerang benefactors ng naturang foundation.
“Dati masyado kang conscious tumaba,” panunukso nito.
“Katawan ko ito. Kakainin ko kung ano ang gusto ko,” malamig niyang sagot.
Ang totoo ay ayaw niyang dumalo sa party na ito pero nahiya lang siya sa tiyahin. As usual, si Lucky ang sumundo sa kanya dahil dadalo rin ito at palagi naman silang magkasamang dumalo sa mga ganitong pagtitipon. But she didn’t want to go with him. She wanted to go alone, or not at all. But her parents were there, urging her to go with Lucky dahil hindi makakadalo ang mga ito. Masama ang pakiramdam ng kanyang Mommy.
“I’m not complaining, babe,” malumanay na sabi nito. “Mas gusto ko nga. You’re starting to look like a pin-up girl.”
Ibinaba niya ang mga hawak na kutsara at tinidor. Nagpahid siya ng bibig at tumayo. His sexual innuendo really rubbed her the wrong way. Parang kelan lang ay hindi niya makontrol ang pangangailangang seksuwal sa tuwing magkasama sila. Now she couldn’t stand his presence.
For two weeks now, they hadn’t been intimate. She was glad he didn’t initiate it because she would be rejecting him for real. She hurt inside and out, and he was triggering it all. No room for sex in her current mental and emotional state.
Hinawakan nito ang kamay niya. “Babe, nagbibiro lang naman ako. Sorry na.”
Hinila niya ang kamay mula sa pagkakahawak nito. “Don’t patronize me.”
Biglang lumapit sa table nila ang kanyang Tita Selena. Napilitan siyang pasayahin ang mukha. Ayaw niyang maging KJ sa party nito.
“Tita, the party is fabulous, as always.”
“Siyempre, gusto kong maka-raise nang mas malaking halaga ngayon kaysa last year. And thanks to Lucky for having one of the restaurants in his hotel cater to the food for free.” Nginitian nito nang matamis si Lucky.
Ngumiti rin si Lucky. “Of course, I will always support your charities, Tita. Next time, if you want a bigger venue, use one of the ballrooms in my hotel. Sagot ko na ’yon.”
“Really?! Oh my God, thank you, hijo! You’re too kind!”
Nayakap ito ni Selena sa tuwa. “Ang bait-bait mo talaga, hijo. ’Di ba Kate? Isn’t he looking extra-hot in that suit?”
Ngumiti siya nang hilaw. Ang galing talagang magpalakas nito. Kuhang-kuha nito ang loob ng kanyang tiyahin. Lahat ng mga kaanak niya ay kuha nito. And she was resenting it more as the days passed. “Sure, Tita.”
“Okay, I have to go mingle. Enjoy, you two. There’s dancing later, so stay longer, okay?”
“Of course, Tita, we will,” sabi ni Lucky.
Lumayo na si Selina para lapitan ang ibang guests.
Her stomach suddenly felt queasy. Muli siyang umupo. Natakpan niya ng kamay ang bibig nang pakiramdam niya ay maduduwal siya.
“Are you okay, angel?”
“Y-yes, I’m fine. Excuse me, pupunta lang ako sa powder room.” Muli siyang tumayo.
Tumayo rin ito para alalayan siya. “Sasamahan kita.”
“Ano ka ba, ang corny mo. Restroom lang ’yon. Stay. Kaya ko ang sarili ko.”
Dali-dali siyang lumayo, tinawid ang kalawakan ng hardin at pumasok sa bahay ni Selena. Tuloy-tuloy siya sa second floor, pinasok ang isang guestroom at tinungo ang banyo, ini-lock iyon.
Bumigay ang kanyang sikmura. Napaluhod siya at idinuwal ang laman ng tiyan. Lupaypay siya nang mailabas ang halos lahat ng kinain niya ngayong araw. Ilang minuto din siyang nakaupo lang sa sahig, hinintay na manumbalik ang lakas.
Halos tatlong buwan na ang kanyang dinadala. Nararamdaman na niya nang husto ang mga sintomas ng pagbubuntis. Palagi siyang gutom, pero naging sobrang sensitive na rin ang panlasa niya lately at nagsusuka siyang bigla. Laging drained ang energy niya kahit hindi pa nangangalahati ang araw niya. But the physical strain was nothing compared to her emotional turmoil.
She was hurting so bad now, but unlike the wound that made her bleed profusely when Nico left her, this pain inside her now went so deep like a cancer in her bones, slowly eating her up from the inside out. She still hated Nico, but she hated herself more now.
She hadn’t seen Nico since the day he said goodbye to her. But she had fully realized what her life had been all these years as she struggled to recover from her heartbreak. Nico’s desertion was only the consequence of it all. She would not absolve him from what he did. He could have been honest with her the moment she set the date of their wedding. But he was a coward.
But so was she. A coward.
Ang totoo, mas masakit tanggaping ang puno’t dulo ng lahat ay kung paano siya nakakulong sa buhay na hindi niya pinili. Isa siyang prinsesang pinalaki at hinulma ang pag-iisip mula pagkabata upang tuparin ang mga pangarap ng ibang tao. Ng kanyang mga magulang at buong angkan. Maybe she and Nico were in the same boat, after all. Though he was a bastard for humiliating her to unrecognizable pieces like he did, maybe he finally found the courage to break free from his own family’s controlling ways. But here she was, still stuck in it all. Because she still didn’t have the courage to stand up for herself and break free.
God, she couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t pretend anymore. Hirap na hirap na siya. The physical and mental strain was rapidly killing her from the inside out.
Nagmugmog siya ng tubig saka napatitig sa sarili sa salamin. Hindi na niya kilala ang sarili. Palutang-lutang lang siya. Hindi makapagdesisyon. Hindi na rin niya halos matingnan ang sarili sa salamin. Sobrang nanliliit na siya sa sarili.
Gusto na niyang umuwi nang patalilis, pero nakalimutan pala niya ang kanyang bag sa table nila ni Lucky. Bumaba siya ng bahay at bumalik sa table nila. Nadatnan niyang nakaupo roon si Karen, masayang nakikipagkwentuhan kay Lucky. Some of Karen’s paintings would be auctioned tonight with the proceeds to be donated to Selena’s foundation.
“Girl!” Masayang bati sa kanya ni Karen. “Halika, kwentuhan tayo. Bakit di ka sumasagot sa mga texts ko?”
“Uhm, sorry, busy lang.”
“Sus, kung di pa ako um-attend ngayon, ’di kita makikita. Miss ka na namin ng barkada. Kelan tayo lalabas ulit?”
“Hindi ko alam. Maraming gagawin. Matatapos na kasi ’yong bagong branch ng boutique ko.” Napilitan siyang muling umupo sa table. Kabastusan naman kung bigla na lang siyang lalayas. Wala namang kinalaman si Karen sa mga problema niya. Sobrang nagi-guilty nga siya sa sitwasyon nila ng kaibigan. Until now, she still couldn’t be honest with her about it.
“I was telling Lucky nga about my own charity projects din with street children. Magtatayo ako ng activity hall para sa mga artistically gifted na mga bata. Parang maliit na tambayan lang nila. May nakita na akong venue, ipapagamit sa akin for free. Donation ng mga Urdaneta. Mga frequent buyers sila ng artworks ko.”
“That’s great, Karen. I’m happy for you.”
“Lucky already agreed to be one of my sponsors,” proud na sabi nito sabay tingin nang malagkit kay Lucky.
“Really? Well, I’m happy to hear that. I’m sure Lucky will gladly open his checkbook for you. He burns money in his casinos anyway, mabuti nang mapakinabangan sa mabuting paraan.”
“Oo nga, he’s the coolest talaga.” Kinikilig na naman si Karen.
Dinampot niya ang bag sa ibabaw ng mesa. “I’m afraid I can’t stay. Mauna na ako sa inyo.”
“Huh? Uuwi ka na? Maaga pa ah. Hahabol daw sina Nessa at Lara.”
“I’m not feeling well. Sige, bye muna.” Bineso niya si Karen at tumalikod na. “Bye, Luck,” aniya na hindi na tiningnan pa si Lucky.
Iniwan na niya ang dalawa. Magpapahatid na lang siya sa isa sa mga drivers ng kanyang Tita Selena. Muli niyang tinungo ang mansiyon.
Inabutan siya ni Lucky na sumunod sa kanya. “What’s wrong, babe? Bakit aalis ka na?”
“I’m not feeling well. Uuwi na ako.”
“Gano’n ba? Ihahatid na kita.”
“No, no. Maiwan ka na, nakakahiya naman kay Tita Sel kung pareho tayong biglang nawala. Magpapahatid na lang ako sa driver ni Tita Sel.”
“Ako ang maghahatid sa ’yo. We came here together, we’ll leave together,” he said firmly.
“Luck, please, hayaan mo na ako.”
“Karen and I were just talking, babe. I don’t wanna stay here kung wala ka.”
“Look, okay lang naman kung makipag-usap ka kahit kanino mo gusto. Malaya ka, malaya rin ako. It’s okay really, you don’t need to explain yourself to me every time.”
His eyes hardened. “You keep rubbing that to my face, Kate, like all we have is sexual convenience. You know damn well we’re past all that bullshit. We’re in a different place now.”
She smiled at him mockingly. Palagi itong ganoon, assuming things between them without even asking her what she thought or felt. Bullshit? It was even clearer now, how he saw her. How he had always seen her all this time.
“Are we? Hindi ba ang usapan natin, wala tayong magiging expectations sa isa’t isa? Wala akong karapatang panghimasukan ang personal mong buhay, at gano’n ka rin sa akin. Kung ano lang iyong kayang ibigay ng bawa’t isa sa atin, ’yon lang. Walang bilangan ng efforts. Pero sige, tatanungin kita. Ano na ba ang nabago sa atin since we became lovers? We sure had plenty of sex, but did that bring us to a better place in our relationship as you so claim?”
He sighed deeply. “I’m trying, Kate. I’m trying so hard to make things right between us–.”
“Well, you can stop trying!” biglang sigaw niya rito. Parang bulkang bigla na lang sumabog ang lahat sa kanya. “I want you to stop trying because it’s not helping the situation. It’s only making it worse!”
Nagulat ito, hindi nakaimik.
Huminga siya nang malalim, kinalma ang sarili. Ayaw na niyang magbitaw ng masasakit na salita. Katotohanan lang. “Look…’Di ba ang basehan ng friendship natin ay honesty? Ngayon ay magiging honest ulit ako sa ’yo, at makikinig ka sa akin at iintindihin mo ako.”
Marahan itong tumango.
“I tried, Luck. I tried to let it all pass. Para sa ikatatahimik ng lahat. Ayoko ng magalit o manumbat. Pagod na pagod na ako. I’ve already forgiven you. Hindi mo kailangang humingi ng tawad nang paulit-ulit sa akin. Pero kahit anong gawin kong pagpapatawad, masakit pa rin eh. Ang sakit-sakit.” She slapped her chest twice. “At habang nakikita kita, lalong sumasakit. But it’s not really you that’s causing the pain anymore, Luck.” Her voice broke. “It’s me. I really hate myself right now.”
“Angel…”
His eyes were moist, and so were hers. Bakit ang sakit-sakit na maging honest? Why did the truth have to hurt this much? But if she couldn’t be truthful to herself at this point, what else could she look forward to in her life?
“I can’t be with you right now. Your presence constantly reminds me what a weakling I was before. What you did made me realize that you and my family saw me as a mindless entity all this time, incapable of making sound decisions and navigating her own life. Alagang-alaga ninyo ako, iniingatan, pero hindi rin ninyo ako binibigyan ng freedom para mabuhay na ayon sa gusto ko. You constantly told me in the past that you believed in me, but you haven’t really trusted my judgment on things concerning my life and future, just like every person close to me who always made the decisions for me. Mas pinili mong umaksiyon sa sarili mong pamamaraan kaysa maging tapat sa akin at ipinagkatiwala sa akin ang desisyong iyon. I could have ended my relationship with Nico myself instead of being left at the altar. And I hate it. I hate that you had a big hand in taking that decision away from me. But then again, how can I blame you for it entirely? I was weak. I really was mindless. A coward. I never gave you any reason to think otherwise, did I? And I hate myself for it. I did this all to myself really. All of it. Look at me. I’m twenty-four and I’m a mess, Luck. I’m a big mess. I need to fix myself before I can be with you or anybody.”
She breathed deeply, gathering all her courage. This was one major crossroad she had to decide on in order to break the vicious cycle of her life.
“I thank you for everything that you have done for me all these years. Don’t ever think that I don’t value them because I do. So very much. You have been the most influential person in my life, more than my family actually. Come to think of it, ikaw ’yong nag-iisang taong higit na nakakilala sa akin. Ikaw ’yong taong pinayagan kong makilala ako inside out. Pero panahon na para kilalanin ko nang lubos ang sarili ko. Ako pala ang hindi nakakakilala sa sarili ko. Naiintindihan mo ba ako, Luck?”
Tumango ito, his eyes were bleak and she almost lost her courage. Lucky was the strongest pillar in her life for years. She depended on him so much. But she had to learn how to stand on her own two feet without him.
“I don’t want us to see each other for a while. Hindi ko alam kung kelan ulit ako handang makasama ka. I need to sort things out on my own. I need to heal on my own. I want to give myself the chance to learn on my own, grow on my own, decide for my life on my own. Iyong ako mismo ang magdedesisyon dahil iyon ang gusto ko para sa sarili ko at hindi dahil sa mga obligasyon ko sa pamilya. Please, as my best friend, respect me on this. I need you to respect me on this.”
Lumaylay ang mga balikat nito, yumuko, tumango-tango.
Humakbang siya palapit dito at yumakap dito.
LUCKY’S ARMS WENT around Kate, wanting to crush her in his embrace and never let her go. But he just enveloped her in his arms lightly, giving her all the freedom she wanted, even if she was cutting him down to pieces all over again.
“Thank you, Luck,” bulong nito.
Iyon lang at bumitaw na ito sa kanya, lumakad palayo.
With an iron will, he had to suppress the desperation to run after Kate as she faded away from his sight.
Takot na takot siya na hayaan itong makalayo sa kanya. Ang bitawan ito nang tuluyan. Ang pakawalan ito. Paano kung hindi na ito bumalik pa? Paano na siya?
Ngunit sa pagkakataong ito, pinilit niyang intindihin ang mga sinabi nito. Ang pakiusap nito.
Nadurog siya sa sinabi nito, ngunit sa kabilang banda, tama naman ito. It was the truth. He didn’t trust her enough to make the ultimate decision about Nico. He usurped that right from her by maneuvering things to his own end. Hindi lang siya ang gumawa niyon, ang buong pamilya nito. Saksi siya niyon sa nakalipas na mga taon. He had been witness to the customs and traditions of the Delestes forged by generations of wealth and power. Familial duties and ties were hard to break for a good, loving daughter, how much more for him who was not even a real member of their family? No matter how much he had wanted Kate for his own, he had to toe the line in order to maintain his good relations with the Delestes.
Pinilit niyang ilagay ang sarili sa kalagayan nito upang labanan ang pansariling interes. Ang sariling damdamin. Because the truth was, no matter how much he loved her if she was too broken inside, she would not be able to love again. No amount of fixing from him would make her love him.
This time around, he knew, he wouldn’t be able to love her anymore for the both of them. She had to meet him half-way.
If not…?
He was thrown back to the moment when he thought he had totally lost her to Nico. The limbo of fear and uncertainty was endless before him.
The only difference now was, they were in a similar place. Kate was in a limbo of her own, too. And he understood. He truly did.
He didn’t know if they could find their way back to each other again.
THANK YOU FOR VOTING IN ADVANCE:)
SA MGA OLD-TIME LOTHARDICTS, MARAMING-MARAMING SALAMAT SA INYONG MAINIT NA SUPORTA. KAHIT MARAMI SA INYO AY HINDI NAMAN TALAGA NAGWA-WATTY O UMALIS NA SA WATTY, NARITO KAYO PARA SUPORTAHAN AKO. SA KABILA NG MGA SHORTCOMINGS KO NA GABUNDOK NA SA TAAS, ANDIYAN PA RIN KAYO, HINDI NINYO AKO INIIWAN. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GUYS, MORE THAN I CAN EVER EXPRESS. LOTHARIO FOREVER!
SA MGA BAGO LANG NAKA-DISCOVER SA AKIN DITO SA WATTY, WELCOME TO MY WORLD. SANA MAG-ENJOY KAYO. I’M SO PLEASED TO MEET YOU ALL, MY NEW READERS.
26
SABADO, eksaktong alas-siyete nang gabi nang sunduin siya ni Aris.
“You look beautiful, Kate,” parang namamalikmatang sabi nito, puno ng paghangang nakatingin sa kanya.
Ngumiti siya. “Thank you, Aris.”
“Shall we?” anito at ini-offer ang bisig.
Kumapit siya rito at naglakad sila papunta sa sasakyan nito.
“I’m driving, so…Is it okay if you sit out front with me?”
Natawa siya. “Oo naman. Ayaw naman kitang magmukhang driver ko.”
Natawa rin ito. “Nasanay kasi ako sa States. Meron naman akong driver, pero nagpaalam na dadalawin ang pamilya niya sa province nila.” Binuksan nito ang passenger door sa bandang unahan ng Lexus SUV nito. She got into the vehicle.
Ilang minuto pa’y nasa daan na sila. “Where are we having dinner?”
“I have a reservation at the Empress Hotel.”
Tumango lang siya.
Moderate lang ang traffic dahil weekend. Nagkwentuhan sila ni Aris habang nagmamaneho ito. He was a careful driver. Minamatyagan niya ang mga kilos nito. Napaka-gentleman nito, malumanay ang boses, humble, at napakatalino. Nalaman niyang graduate ito ng prestishiyosong National University of Singapore. Galing ito sa pamilya ng mga magagaling na arkitekto at nasa construction business ang halos buong angkan nito.
He was very good-looking too. He would be a woman’s prize catch one day. At obvious na siya ay gusto ring masilo ni Aris. Hindi naman siya manhid.
Since she got engaged to Nico at a very young age, hindi na siya nagkaroon ng pagkakataong makakilala pa ng ibang mga lalaki. Naitanim sa utak niya na siya ay magiging ulirang girlfriend, fiancee at maybahay ni Nico sa takdang panahon. In that order. She’d never dated anybody except Nico. The only man she was permitted to go out with was Lucky. Parang kapamilya kasi ang turing ng mga Deleste rito. Malaki ang tiwala ng pamilya niya kay Lucky na iingatan siya nito. Those were all friendly dates anyway, until their friendship suddenly transformed. So, they basically dated by default, pero sila lang naman ang nakakaalam niyon at ang Tita Selena niya.
Ngayon lang siya lalabas sa isang totoong date. Iyong date na pinili at plinano niya. Bakit hindi? Hindi lang si Nico ang lalaki sa mundo, at lalong hindi lang si Lucky. She liked Aris very much. His inherent kindness inspired instant trust. Magaan ang loob niya rito.
Hindi ito mahirap mahalin. If only she would open her heart to the other possibilities in her life. Ayaw niyang isiping dahil nabuntis siya nang wala sa plano ay wala na siyang choices sa buhay. Iyong kasabihang kung saan nadapa, doon babangon? Kalokohan ’yon. Hindi na niya igagapos pang muli ang sarili sa mga makalumang pananaw sa buhay.
She was of age now and she was earning her own money. She had a lot of choices. Kaya na niyang suportahan ang sarili niya. A partial percentage of her inheritance was legitimately put in her name when she turned 21. She could buy her own house if she wanted to, anywhere she wanted. But she chose to stay in her parents’ mansion. Hindi pa kasi handa ang mga magulang na pakawalan siya. Although they were lax with DL who was mostly out of the country because of his racing career, she was the princess who stayed in the palace.
But now, she could change all that. She could start building her own space, and she could definitely decide where, how and when.
Dating a new man would drive that message across, too, sa pamilya niya at kay Lucky. It may seem like she was using Aris to chart her own path, and it was true to some extent, but she genuinely liked him. His friendship would be a very welcome event in her sordid life right now. Aris seemed rock solid, and he genuinely liked and respected her, she could feel.
Who knew what would develop from this new friendship? She would certainly take her time getting to know him. Of course, she’d have to tell him about the baby at some point, as in soon, as it would become very apparent in a month or so. But that conversation should happen with Lucky first. She knew what he would insist on. Marriage. But she would make Lucky understand that they could only co-parent the baby at this point. Marriage was not an option. It was the farthest thing from her mind right now. Sa isang banda, alam niyang napakataas rin ng pride ni Lucky. Hindi ito maghahabol sa kanya kapag nakikipag-date na siya sa ibang lalaki.
Her parents were another story. Iyon ang sobrang nagpapahirap sa loob niya. Iyong disappointment na mararamdaman ng mga ito kapag nagtapat na siya sa mga ito.
“Hey, where are you?”
“Huh?”
“Ang layo yata ng pinuntahan ng isip natin.”
“Hindi ah. Natutuwa lang ako na halos tapos na ang boutique. I’m so excited.”
“I’ll help you move into it.”
“Wow, Architect, sobrang bonus na serbisyo na ’yan ha? Nakakahiya naman sa ’yo.”
“It’s just an excuse to see you again.”
Natawa siya. “Smooth.”
“Okay, we’re here.”
“ARE YOU SURE, JETT?”
“Yeah, positive, Luck. Nasa isang restaurant sila sa Empress Hotel.”
Napamura siya at galit na nabayo ang ibabaw ng mesa. “Okay, thanks, Jett. Bye.”
Nagpupuyos ang kaloobang naglakad-lakad siya sa kalawakan ng kanyang opisina sa Hotel de Angelo.
How could she do this to him?! Paano nito naatim na makipag-date kay Aris? Pumayag siya na bigyan ito ng space. Inintindi niya na kailangan nilang hindi muna magkita para maka-recover ito sa sakit na naidulot niya rito. He had been sorrier than he’d ever been in his life. He was trying so hard to make up. Ngunit mahigit isang linggo lang ang nakalipas ay makikipag-date na ito sa ibang lalaki?
Tinadyakan niya ang isang silya sa galit. Halos hindi niya kayanin ang isang buong araw na hindi ito tawagan, lalo na makita, pero tinitiis niya. Nagbibilang siya ng oras at minuto sa paghihintay. Tapos ito ang malalaman niya? This was so fucking unfair!
Umiral na ang pride niya. No woman was going to play him for a fool, even if she happened to be the love of his life! Putang-ina, hindi siya papayag! Kung gusto nito ng laro, puwes, pagbibigyan niya ito. No woman had tested his patience more than Kate had, pero nagtiis siya dahil sobra niya itong mahal, pero ngayon ay binago nito ang rules. Binura nito ang lahat ng limitasyon at boundaries. Hindi na niya kailangang magpasensiya o magdahan-dahan.
Two could play this fucking game.
Dinampot niya ang cellphone na nakalapag sa mesa at may tinawagan. Excited ang tinig ng sumagot sa kabilang linya.
“Are you free tonight?”
“You know I’d clear my calendar for you anytime, darling.”
“I’ll pick you up in exactly thirty minutes.” Malapit lang naman sa hotel niya ang condo nito.
“I’ll be ready.”
Pagkatapos ay mainit ang ulong umakyat siya sa penthouse at nagbihis.
Aris, man, if you touch her, I’ll kill you! And you, Kate, I’m done being your fucking love-sick slave! You’re mine, and you’re going to remember that every fucking day even if I had to tattoo that on your forehead with my fucking dick!
Shit, he had spoiled her too damned much. She was in for some rough fucking, that little bitch. But first, he’d give her a taste of her own medicine.
“HINDI pa rin ako makapaniwalang kasama kita ngayon, Kate.”
“Bakit naman?”
“Well, I’ve wanted to be friends with you for a long time now, pero hindi kita malapitan dahil kayo ni Nico… I’m sorry, hindi intensiyong ipaalala sa ’yo ang mga nangyari,” apologetic na sabi nito.
“It’s okay.”
“What I mean is…matagal na kitang napapansin noon pa. Kaya lang…” Nagkibit-balikat ito. “Pero ngayon, puwede na kitang yayain nang ganito nang walang magagalit., ‘di ba?’
Ngumiti siya. “Oo naman.” There was a boyish shyness to him that she found quite adorable. Nakapa-unassuming nito. Mukhang hindi player sa kilos at pananalita.
“So, ngayon pa lang, magpapa-reserve na ako ng next date natin, ha? Whenever you feel like, call me, I’ll be there like a 911 responder.”
Natawa siya. How cute. “You don’t waste much time, do you?”
“Nope.”
“Sure, Aris.”
Masaya silang kumain. Masarap kausap si Aris, well-read pero hindi know-it-all. Attentive ito sa kanya, nakikinig at tinatandaan ang mga sinasabi niya.
Ganoon din naman si Lucky, bulong ng tinig sa kanyang utak. She sighed inwardly. Bakit ba palaging nakasingit ’yon sa utak niya?
Nang matapos silang kumain, nag-excuse siya para pumunta sa powder room. Nag-retouch siya ng make-up.
Pagbalik niya sa kanilang mesa, may nakita siyang kausap si Aris. Nagdahan-dahan siya sa paglakad. Kahit nakatalikod ay kilala niya ito. Bumundol ang kaba sa kanyang dibdib.
Ano’ng ginagawa ni Lucky rito? Sinusundan ba siya nito? Hindi naman siguro. Pero hindi ba’t iyon ang gusto niyang mangyari, ang malaman nitong magkasama sila ni Aris hindi dahil sa trabaho?
Lumapit siya sa mga ito.
“Kate, look who’s here, too,” masayang salubong ni Aris sa kanya. Wala talaga itong kamalay-malay. May guilt na naman siyang naramdaman, pero sinikil niya iyon. Wala siyang dapat ipaliwanag alinman sa dalawa. She was a free bird.
“Luck, what a surprise.” Nginitian niya ito at umupo sa silyang kaharap ni Aris.
Lucky’s eyes were frosty, but she saw a flash of anger na agad ring nawala. Pormal na pormal ito. “A surprise, indeed, Kate.” His indifferent tone told her he was really fuming inside, but she refused to be intimidated by him.
Bigla na lang sumulpot si Klaudia at humawak sa bisig ni Lucky. “Sorry, darling, I had to say hello to some friends,” malambing na sabi nito.
Hindi niya mapigil ang pag-alsa ng temper niya sa nakikita, na hindi niya dapat na maramdaman. No, hindi siya dapat maapektuhan. Parehas lang siyang may ka-date, pero parang may kung anong malditang ispirito sa loob niya ang gigil na gigil.
“Oh, this is cozy. Kayo na pala ni Aris ngayon, Kate?” komento ni Klaudia, puno ng malisya ang mga mata.
Napaubo si Aris, at nahihiyang ngumiti. “I wish. Hey, guys, why don’t you two join us? Pang-apat itong table na ibinigay sa amin. Luck?”
Gusto niyang mag-protesta. Aris was being too nice. Naunahan siya ni Lucky. “We’d like that, pare,” anito sabay upo sa isang bakanteng silya. He had this smirk, daring her to say something.
Nagkibit-balikat lang siya. Gusto nito ng showdown sa kaplastikan? Puwes, pagbigyan.
“Darling, let’s have our own table over there,” nanunulis ang ngusong tanggi ni Klaudia.
Hinapit ito ni Lucky sa baywang at iniupo sa natitirang bakanteng silya. “Dito na tayo, please?” masuyong sabi nito kay Klaudia.
She smiled at Lucky seductively, touching his lips lightly. “Okay. ’Di bale, masosolo naman kita mamaya.”
Gusto ng sabuyan ni Kate ng red wine ang mukha ni Klaudia. Hindi siya sanay na nakikitang nilalandi nang ganito si Lucky after they’d been intimate. Parang may nasanay siya na siya lang ang nakakahipo sa anumang parte ng katawan nito the past months.
Gusto niyang matawa nang maalala ang mga sinabi ni Lucky. Na kesyo wala raw itong iba since naging intimate sila. Pero heto’t maliwanag na nag-resume kaagad ang sex life nito pagkatapos nila. Oo nga’t kasama niya si Aris ngayon pero hindi naman siya makikipag-sex dito o kahit na sinong lalaki lang diyan. Hindi pa siya handa sa ganoon.
Lumapit ang isang waiter para kunin ang order nina Lucky at Klaudia. This night was going to drag, she just knew. Nasira na ang magandang mood ng date nila ni Aris. Si Aris kasi, inimbita pa itong dalawa. Nakakainis din ang sobrang kabaitan nito.
Kumukulo ang dugo niya pero sa labas ay kalmante siyang nakipagkwentuhan. Aris was totally unaware of the tension brewing between her and Lucky. He even engaged Klaudia in a conversation at masayang nag-uusap ang dalawa. Magkaibigan pala ang mga pamilya ng mga ito. Maya’t maya ay nagkakasalubong ang mga mata nila ni Lucky. Tulad niya, halos hindi ito nagsasalita.
“Oh, look what the cat dragged in,” sabi ni Klaudia na nakatingin sa isang parte ng restaurant.
Nanigas ang buong katawan niya. Hindi niya inaasahan ang pangyayaring ito. Hindi siya nakapaghanda.
Papasok si Nico sa restaurant kasama ang tatlong lalaki.
Parang namanhid ang pakiramdam niya sa shock. Akala niya ay kaya na niyang maging matatag kapag nangyari ang eksenang ganito. Hindi pala. Parang babaliktad ang sikmura niya sa magkakahalong emosyong nararamdaman.
Nagtama ang mga mata nila ni Nico. Hindi siya makakilos o makapagsalita.
“Kate…” narinig niya mula sa malayo ang nag-aalalang tinig ni Aris kahit katabi lang niya ito.
Lumapit si Nico sa kanila. Parang slow-motion ang mga hakbang nito sa kanyang paningin. Ngayon lang sila muling nagkita nito mula noong araw ng kasal nilang hindi nila kapwa sinipot.
When Nico was near, he called her name, too. “Kate, “ pero parang ang layo-layo rin ng tinig nito. Parang nabingi siya.
Napansin niyang napakalaki nga ng ipinayat nito, haggard ang mukha at napakalungkot ng mga mata. Nanatili siyang nakatitig lang dito. Everything else faded into the background.
Pilit niyang kinakapa ang damdamin. Ang galit, ang pagkasuklam, ang sakit at kahihiyang naramdaman niya noong iniwan siya nito. But she was a jumble of emotions, and she couldn’t separate one from the other.
“Son of a bitch!”
Narinig niya mula sa kung saan ang pamilyar na tinig.
Biglang sumulpot si DL at marahas na hinablot ang kwelyo ng suit jacket ni Nico mula sa likuran. Napalingon si Nico sa gulat.
Sa isang iglap, nagkagulo ang paligid.
DL’s fist landed on Nico’s face with a sickening thud.
Nico staggered on his feet. Dinamba ito ni DL at nalaglag ang mga ito sa sahig. Parang mabangis na hayop na sinalakay ng kanyang kapatid si Nico, pinagsusuntok at pinagtatadyakan. Hindi lumaban si Nico. Sinasangga lang ang mga atake ni DL.
Sa kabiglaan ng lahat, ilang saglit bago naawat ang dalawa. Duguan ang mukha ni Nico. Nagmumura pa rin sa galit si DL. “Pinagkatiwalaan ka namin, hayup ka! I’ll kill you, you sonofabitch!”
“DL…I’m so sorry…patawarin mo ako…” mahina at nagsusumamo ang tinig ni Nico. He looked nothing like the powerful business tycoon that he was. He was just a fallen, wounded man at the moment.
“Walang kapatawaran ang ginawa mo! Ipinahiya mo kaming lahat! Ginago mo ang kapatid ko, putang-ina ka! Andami kong pinalampas na kagaguhan mo dahil akala ko matino kang kausap at ang pamilya mo! Shit ka, Nico! Wala kang isang salita! Your word means nothing! You hear me?! Nothing!”
Nagpupumiglas si DL mula sa pagkakahawak nina Lucky at Aris habang minumura nang paulit-ulit si Nico. She had never witnessed this violent side of her brother.
Tumingin si Nico sa kanya. Nakahandusay pa rin ito sa sahig. “Kate…I’m so sorry…please…” His eyes were tormented.
Hindi niya nakayanan ang lahat. Tumakbo siya palabas ng restaurant. Tumabi ang mga nakiusyosong customers para makadaan siya. Nagsisiskip ang dibdib niya, halos hindi makahinga at nanlalabo ang paningin.
Inabutan siya ni Aris na nag-aabang ng bakanteng elevator.
“Kate, are you alright?”
“Take me home, Aris, please…” she said in a small voice. She would not break down here and cry.
“Of course, I will.” Marahan nitong hinawakan ang balikan niya, pinisil. “I’m so sorry this happened, Kate.”
Umiling siya. “Hindi mo naman kasalanan…”
Maya-maya’y tumatakbong lumapit sa kanila si Lucky. “Kate, are you alright, angel?” nag-aalala ang tinig nito.
Hindi siya umimik, umiwas ng tingin dito.
“Iuuwi ko na muna siya, pare,” sabi ni Aris.
Lucky sighed heavily. “Yes, take her home, pare.”
Siya namang pagbukas ng mga pinto ng isang elevator.
Nauna na siyang pumasok doon. Agad na sumunod si Aris.
Naiwang nakatayo si Lucky roon habang sumasara na ang mga pinto.
BUMALIK SI LUCKY sa restaurant. Nakaalis na si Nico ngunit nagpupuyos pa rin sa galit si DL. Si Klaudia naman ay nakasimangot nang lapitan niya.
“Where’d you go? You left me!” agad na maktol nito.
“Sandali lang, Klau,” paalam niya sa babae at nilapitan si DL.
“DL, mabuti pa’y umuwi ka na muna.” Tinapik niya ito sa balikat. Nakayuko na ito ngayon, hindi nagsasalita pero alam niyang tahimik na nagmumura.
Maya-maya’y napailing-iling ito. “Damn, Luck, hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko. Pagpasok ko rito, siya ang unang nakita ko. What did he expect me to say to him, welcome back?”
“Naiintindihan ko, bro. Sige na, mauna ka na. Ako na ang bahala rito.”
Sinuyod nito ng tingin ang mga nangabasag na mga kagamitan sa restaurant. “Kakausapin ko muna ang manager ng restaurant. Pakitawagan na lang sina Ram o Rad, inform them what happened here. Sasagutin ko ang lahat ng damages. I’ll call them later to apologize.”
Tumango siya. “Okay.”
Muli niyang nilapitan si Klaudia.
“Let’s go na, darling?” malambing na ulit ito.
“Ah, Klau, may aasikasuhin pa kasi ako rito sa restaurant. Tutulungan ko lang si DL na umareglo sa gusot. Pwede bang ipasundo na lang kita dito sa kaibigan kong si Jett? Siya na ang maghahatid sa iyo pauwi. I’m really sorry. I hope you understand.”
Her face turned ugly. “Are you kidding me right now?! Lucky, you can’t do this to me over and over! Sobra ka na!” Ipinadyak nito ang isang paa na parang bata.
Wala naman itong nagawa nang tawagan niya si Jett. Nasa vicinity lang naman ito, malapit sa kinaroroonan nila. Dumating ito nang wala pang kinse-minutos.
Napansin niyang gumanda naman ang mood ni Klaudia nang makita nito si Jett.
VOTES AND COMMENTS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED.
These give me inspiration and added energy to work on this novel.
So please, isang pindot lang ng star:)
xoxo
DEAR REKLAMADOR READERS:)
DEAR REKLAMADOR READERS. Hindi ako magmumura, pramis.:)
May mga nagsa-suggest diyan ng kung anu-ano para di sila mahirapan basahin ang bawat epi ni Lucky. Noong una, ako ang nagso-sorry kahit na naaasar ako.
Pero ngayon, ay hindi na. Ang gusto kasing mangyari ay hindi na ako mag-edit ng trabaho ko dito once na nai-pubish ko na.
Let me tell you this. Pag ganyan ang tabas ng mga kokote ninyo, there’s the door. Gagawin ninyo pa akong pito-pitong writer para lang sa convenience ninyo, mga ewan kayo.
I’m doing major revisions with Lucky and added scenes. It’s like writing a new novel. Mahirap ma-gets ito kung hindi ka writer, tulad ko. Akala ninyo it’s effortless for me to do this since nasulat ko na naman ito noon pa? IT IS NOT. It’s lots of hard work.
OC ako magsulat, so expect lots of edits once na-post na ’yong story. If that causes glitches in your convenience to read Lucky, then wala akong magagawa. Watty ang may problema diyan, hindi ako.
Yung ibang stories ko, halos pulido na ang mga ’yon, at wala ako dagdag scenes o binagong scenes, kaya wala akong binabalikang chapters once uploaded na. Kung meron, konti lang. Still binabalikan ko pa rin until feeling ko wala ng errors. Kahit isang typo pag nakita ko, babalikan ko ’yan at i-edit. I JUST CAN’T RESIST DOING THAT. I’m a writer, editor, publisher, so it comes with my training. Ganyan ang ugali ko at hindi ko babaguhin ’yan. Kaya ako nakatagal sa industriyang ito dahil sa ugali kong iyan. Ganyan ang personality ko.
I review my stories a lot once I’ve uploaded it. Kahit sa Amazon ilang beses akong mag-reupload. Same goes here. There is an edit button in the Watty writing app and it should not cause any problem with the readers if the author edits an already published part. I’m really wondering why nagiging problema ito. But I will not spend a huge number of my time perfecting a chapter para pag na-publish ko na, hindi ko na babalikan o gagalawin. Imposible ’yan. Buwis-career ’yan for me. I am a traditionally published, as well as an indie author. May reputasyon na akong na-establish, and I will not lower my standards just to please some reklamador readers.
Watty is a WRITING TOOL, NOT JUST A READER TOOL. Aabutin tayo ng siyam-siyam mag-UD kung uunahin ko ang convenience ng readers sa bagay na ito. Ano’ng gusto ninyo, madalang na UD o diskartertehan ninyo ang Watty paano mabasa si Lucky? I’m writing other stuff, too, hindi lang dito sa Watty. PAID works. So kung ganyan ang siste, I will prioritize my other works na lang and Watty gets the bottom pit again. Doon kasi sa Amazon, pinipintasan ako dahil hindi pulido ang trabaho ko regarding typos, etc, kahit akala ko na-perfect ko na siya technically. Siyempre pag PAID works dapat very minimal errors. Pero they still buy my stuff regardless. I have fans there na sobrang avid at nagrereklamo na nawawala sa Kindle nila ’yong ebooks ko, dahil siguro nag-reupload ako. Still, they make tiyaga and do the re-downloading ng new version para may copies sila ng works ko sa Kindles nila palagi kahit nabasa na nila. See the difference here and there? Ayokong ipamukha pero nakakaloka na kung saan ka namimigay nang libre, may mga gustong isubo mo lahat sa kanila.
So, no, I will do as I always do with Lucky. You’ll just have to bear with this “napakalaking” HIRAP sa pag-archive/unarchive ng bawat parts pag hindi ninyo mabasa. HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST NA HINDI NA AKO MAG-EDIT kasi hindi nagre-refresh agad ang Watty at your convenience? I hate to say this, but know the difference between us. Writer ako. Reader ka. May kanya-kanya tayong hirap. Kung talagang gusto mong mabasa, magtitiyaga. Tulad ko, gustong-gusto kong makapasaya ng readers ko, kaya nagtitiyaga akong puyat, sakit likod sa kauupo nang tuwid para hindi makuba (nakakangawit sobra!), pagod at gasgas ang utak sa kaiisip para may maisulat nang libre para sa mga mahal kong readers. NAHIHIRAPAN KANG MAGBASA at tamad dumiskarte, ako pa ang magsasakripisyo para wala kang kahirap-hirap?
WOW.
Mula ngayon, ayokong makakita ng kung ano-anong suggestions na ganyan. I’m not anti-solution, but the solution you are suggesting is unacceptable to me. Antayin na lang ninyong mag-improve and writing features ng Watty. Kay Watty kayo mangulit, hindi sa akin.
Better yet, imbes na magreklamo, dumiskarte kayo.
Lastly, don’t tell me you love me and then tell me to degenerate as a writer. That’s just so low.
PS 1. To all who truly love me then and now, hindi ito para sa inyo. Pasensiya na sa pagpapalabas ko ng saloobin. Pero salamat na rin sa pagbasa.
xoxo
27
PAGDATING SA BAHAY NILA, inalalayan siya ni Aris pababa ng sasakyan. Hinang-hina ang pakiramdam ni Kate.
“Kate, sigurado kang kaya mo? I’m sorry sa nangyari kanina. Hindi ko alam na pupunta siya roon.”
“Aris, hindi mo kasalanan. Wala kang kasalanan. You’ve been nothing but kind and generous. Thank you for tonight”
“Thank you, Kate. I’ll call you tomorrow. Magpahinga ka na, ha?” He kissed her gently on the cheek.
Pinilit niyang ngumiti. “Salamat, Aris.”
Nang makaalis ito ay matamlay siyang pumasok sa kanilang mansiyon. Ang bigat-bigat ng pakiramdam niya. Parang tinutusok ng libo-libong karayom ang kanyang balat. She felt so brittle she might fall to pieces on the floor any moment.
Sinalubong siya ng kanyang Mommy sa sala. “O, hija, akala ko’y mamaya ka pa darating?”
Napakapit siya sa isang armchair. “Mom…” Nasapo niya ang noo. Pakiramdam niya ay umiikot ang paligid.
“Kate? Are you okay?”
Wala na siyang narinig. Nanlabo ang lahat at tuluyang naglaho sa kanyang paningin.
HABANG NAKIKIPAG-AREGLO sa manager ng restaurant, nakatanggap ng tawag si DL.
“Mom? What’s wrong?…What happened?!”
Natigilan si Lucky at nakiramdam kay DL sa kanyang tabi. Nabalisa ito sa natanggap na balita mula sa ina nito. Kinabahan din siyang ’di niya mawari.
“Okay, Mom, I’ll be right there. I’m leaving now. Calm down. We’ll get the doctor. Don’t worry. Let me talk to Tita Sel.”
Kinakabahang naghintay si Lucky habang kausap naman ni DL si Selena.
DL cut the call, looking shaken now, a stark contrast to his livid countenance a while back.
“Bakit daw, bro?” tanong niya.
“Si Kate. Nag-collapse. Nasa bahay na siya.”
Ganoon na lang ang bundol ng kaba sa dibdib niya. “Ano raw ang nangyari?”
“They don’t know yet. We need to fetch a doctor.”
“What? Why? Why don’t they just bring her straight to the hospital?”
“I don’t know. Tita Selena insisted we fetch her doctor friend.”
“Let’s go!”
Nagpaalam sila sa manager na babalik na lamang sila dahil may emergency. At dahil valued customers sila sa hotel na iyon, nakaunawa naman ito.
HINDI MAPALAGAY na naghihintay si Lucky sa labas ng silid ni Kate. Kanina pa siya palakad-lakad sa kahabaan ng karpetadong hallway, aburidong sinusuklay ng mga daliri ang buhok.
Sobrang kinakabahan siya, lalo at hindi pa niya alam ang nangyayari kay Kate. Wala naman siyang alam na sakit nito. Mayroon kaya itong karamdamang hindi nito sinasabi sa kanya? He felt sick with fear.
Bumalik si DL na dala ang isang tasa ng kape at iniabot sa kanya. “Thanks, bro.” He needed a caffeine fix.
“Salamat din kanina. Nahihiya na ako sa ’yo. Every time I’m in some kinda trouble, you’re always there to witness it and help fix it afterward.”
“Wala ’yon. Ah, DL…may sakit ba si Kate?”
“Wala naman akong alam…” Napailing ito. “Baka sobrang depressed na ang kapatid ko dahil sa mga nangyari. Kawawa naman. Tapos may gana pang magpakita ang tanginang Nico na ’yon kanina.”
He was sure as hell that seeing Kate and her brother was the last thing Nico wanted today, he thought. It was just a bloody coincidence that they all went to the same restaurant. But he kept his mouth shut. DL was still not thinking straight.
Huminga siya nang malalim. Siya ang sobrang nagi-guilty. Baka siya ang dumagdag sa mga sama ng loob ni Kate. Nadala siya sa matinding selos kaya siya umeksena sa date nito kay Aris. But he never anticipated DL and Nico coming into the restaurant, too. What a fucking mess that was.
Nang lumabas sa kuwarto ni Kate si Dr. Alejandre ay napatayo siya mula sa kinauupuan. “Doc? Kumusta na siya?” pigil ang hiningang tanong niya rito.
Ngumiti ang doktora. “She’s all right. Nagkamalay na siya.”
“Puwede na po ba siyang makausap?”
“Oo naman, pero kailangan niya nang mahabang pahinga.”
Nakahinga siya nang maluwag. Mukhang hindi naman malubha ang karamdaman ni Kate. Still, he wanted to see her for himself that she was indeed all right.
“Ihahatid ko na ho kayo, Doc, “ sabi ni DL.
“Huwag na, hijo. Nagpasundo na ako sa driver ko. Naghihintay na siya sa labas.”
“Gano’n po ba? Salamat ho, Doc. Naistorbo kayo nang dis-oras nang gabi.”
“Naku, wala ’yon. Kayo bang pamilya ay mahihindian ko? It was my duty, too. O sige, aalis na ako. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. Goodnight sa inyo.”
“I’ll walk you to the door po.”
“Why, that’s sweet of you. Thank you, hijo.”
Sinamahan ni DL ang butihing doktora pababa ng hagdan.
Lucky hesitated to knock on Kate’s door.
KATE WAS HEARING MUFFLED voices somewhere in the room. In her room. She knew the bed she was lying on was hers, pero wala siyang lakas para idilat ang mga mata. Parang lumulutang ang pakiramdam niya. The doctor injected her with something, a calming drug maybe? She felt a lot better now, though she felt weak all over.
Pilit niyang idinilat ang mga mata. It took a few minutes for her to clear the haze in her vision and see clearly.
Naroon ang mga magulang at Tita Selena niya sa isang panig ng silid, nag-uusap nang masinsinan. O kaya’y nagtatalo.
Nilingon siya ng kanyang Mommy. “Hija!” Agad itong lumapit sa kama niya nang makitang nakadilat na siya. “How are you feeling, anak?” Dinama nito ang kanyang noo.
“Mom…what happened?” nanghihinang tanong niya.
“You fainted, anak. Akala namin kung napaano ka na.” Tumulo ang mga luha nito. Her mother’s face said it all. She already knew.
They already knew.
She braced herself for the inevitable. This had to happen somehow and she was sad they had to find out this way. But this was just as well.
Sinulyapan niya ang tiyahin. Nakikiusap ang mga mata ni Selena sa kanya.
Kate’s eyes slowly transferred to her father, and her heart sank to the pit of her stomach.
Ilang beses na ba niyang inisip ang scenario na ito? Iyong ipagtatapat na niya ang kalagayan niya sa mga magulang? She even rehearsed what she would say to defend herself, to stand up for her own choices. But words failed her as she gazed at her father. The grave disappointment in his eyes was killing her.
Her father had always been at the center of her world since she was born. Not only hers, but her entire clan’s, as well. He was the king of the Deleste clan, and everyone respected him with utmost reverence. Lahat ng mga kaanak nila ay sumusunod sa bawat payo nito, sa bawat ehemplong ipakita nito. Lahat ng mga kamag-anak nila ay nag-a-aspire na makuha ang approval nito. And because they all looked up to her father in the highest regard, they all looked up to her, too.
She hated it that she, her father’s only daughter was going to cause him extreme shame. She felt selfish and guilty that she had to do this because she wanted freedom.
“Hija, bakit hindi mo sinabi sa amin ang kalagayan mo?” Kahit puno ng pag-aalala ang mukha ng ina, naroon ang matinding disappointment.
“Bakit mo nagawa ito, Katrina?”
Mababa ang tinig ng kanyang ama, palatandaang galit na galit ito.
Huminga siya nang malalim nang maramdaman ang sobrang paninikip ng kanyang lalamunan. Hindi siya makapagsalita. Akala niya ay kaya niyang sabihin iyon sa kanyang ama nang walang gatol at pag-aalinlangan, na huwag na itong makialam sa buhay niya mula ngayon.
Hindi pala. Ang hirap pala.
“Answer me!” bulyaw nito sa kanya.
“Anton, please!” saway rito ng Mommy niya.
Biglang bumukas ang pinto ng silid. Pumasok sina Lucky at DL.
Just the two people she needed to hear this conversation. Great. Lucky always had perfect timing. Gusto niyang matawa at maiyak.
Nagkatinginan sila ni Lucky. His eyes were worried.
“Lucky, mabuti at narito ka. We need your help,” agad na sabi rito ng kanyang ama.
“Bakit ho, sir?”
“Hanapin mo si Nico ngayon din! Kaladkarin mo papunta rito kung kinakailangan. He needs to face us once and for all. Kailangang panagutan niya ang anak ko!”
“P-panagutan?”
“My daughter is pregnant! Ako mismo ang papatay sa lalaking ’yon kapag hindi niya pinanagutan ang anak ko!”
Nilingon siya ni Lucky, litong nagtatanong ang mga mata. Gusto na niyang muling mahimatay sa sobrang tensiyon.
Umiling-iling siya, doon nahagilap ang tinig. “Dad, please, don’t do this. Pabayaan ninyong ako ang magdesisyon sa bagay na ito, please…” pagsusumamo niya rito.
“Hindi ka namin pinalaki para magkaganyan, Katrina! Nasaan ang delikadesa mo? Ano na lang ang mukhang ihaharap natin sa publiko?!”
His father’s thunderous voice hammered down on her guilt. Tumulo ang mga luha niya. “I’m so sorry, Dad, Mom. I’m so sorry…But I can’t…I can’t do it!”
“You have no say in this matter! Your behavior is disgraceful! Kayong dalawa ni Nico! You brought dishonor to both our families! Rectify it! You will marry Nico, and that will happen even if I have to drag you both to the damn altar myself!”
“Anton!” Hinawakan ng kanyang Mommy ang kamay ng kanyang Daddy dahil nanginginig na ito sa galit. “Please, calm down. Pakinggan natin ang mga bata. Hayaan nating sila ang magdesisyon para sa kanilang mga sarili.”
“Hindi! Pakakasalan ni Nico si Kate o tuluyan na kaming magkalimutan ni Jaime at ng buong angkan niya!”
“Nico is not the father of my baby, Dad!” sigaw na niya.
Napahumindig lalo ang kanyang ama. Saglit na tulalang napatitig ito sa kanya.
“Ano’ng sinabi mo?!”
Lumunok siya. Kahit nadudurog siya sa nagbabagang titig nito, nanindigan na siya para sa sarili. “Hindi ho si Nico ang ama,” matatag na pag-uulit niya.
Her father looked incredulous, and now doubly livid. “Anong kalokohan ito, Katrina?!”
“Iyon po ang totoo. Hindi si Nico. Hindi ko rin sasabihin sa ngayon kung sino ang ama ng baby ko. Gagawin ko iyon sa tamang panahon. Sana respetuhin ninyo ang desisyon ko.”
Nasa kay Lucky ang mga mata niya nang sabihin ang huling sinabi. She was begging him with her eyes not to say anything. Not now. There was another time for that. God, not now, please…
But he went ahead and did his way. Just like he always did.
“Sir, I’m the baby’s father.”
LUCKY WAS still in shock, but his concern for Kate was overshadowed by his fury from being kept in the dark about her condition. Ilang buwan na ang tiyan nito? Kelan pa ito buntis? All this time ay hindi nito sinabi sa kanya? Pinaniwala siya nitong gumagamit ito ng contraceptive pills, iyon pala…Shit!
But his internal turmoil took a backseat as he faced Don Antonio after owning up as the father of Kate’s baby.
Since he rescued the old man from the rebels many years ago, Don Antonio had always treated him as a member of his family, as his own son. The man had given him a very high place in the Deleste clan’s hierarchy of power.
But the fury in the man’s eyes told him the place of honor he had bestowed on him all these years had been shattered and now gone.
“Ikaw…?” Iyon ang unang nasabi nito, nanlalaki ang mga matang nakatitig sa kanya.
Nagpakatatag siya. Ito ang kapalit ng kanyang nagawa. Paninindigan niya iyon. Paninindigan niya si Kate.
“I’m sorry, sir. Please, forgive me. I will marry your daughter,” mapakumbabang usal niya.
Biglang dinaklot nito ang harapan ng kanyang suit jacket. “Pinagkatiwalaan kita! Itinuring kitang parang anak ko!” Marahas ang boses nito. “Traidor ka!”
“I’m terribly sorry, sir. But I love your daughter.” Iyon lang ang pwede niyang sabihing dahilan bakit nangyari ang lahat ng iyon. At iyon naman ang totoo.
Itinulak siya nito at inundayan ng suntok sa mukha. He could have easily evaded it using his extensive martial arts training, but he let it hit. He deserved it.
Nayanig ang paligid niya sa lakas ng suntok ng don. Sumuray siya at napaupo sa sofa, sapo ang nasaktang panga. Bahagyang nagdilim ang paligid niya.
Muling dinaklot ng don ang suit jacket niya at itulak siya pasadsad sa sofa. Habol nito ang hininga at natatakot siyang atakehin ito sa puso.
“Dad, noooo! Please! Ako ang may kasalanan! Dad, please, stop!” umiiyak na sigaw ni Kate.
Umiiyak na rin si Dona Bea at niyakap ang nagwawalang asawa. “Anton, tama na! Please, tama na!”
“Siningil mo na lang sana ako ng pera bilang kabayaran ng pagligtas mo sa akin noon! Hindi ganito, Lucky! Hindi ganito!” Napaiyak na sa galit ang don.
Lucky’s heart broke at the man’s anguish. “Sir, I’m sorry. I truly am.”
“Shut up! I don’t want to see your face right now! Get out of my house! Get out!”
Hinila na ni Dona Bea ang asawa palabas ng silid. Nagpupuyos pa rin ito sa galit ngunit sumunod na ito sa asawa.
Namayani ang katahimikan sa silid.
Lucky wiped his tears and combed his hair with his fingers. God, what a mess. But he had to navigate through this chaos and set things right with this family. He had to.
His eyes finally met Kate’s across the room.
She looked ashen as though she might collapse again.
“Kate…” tawag niya rito.
Siyang pagpasok naman ni DL sa silid.
“What the hell happened? Kate, are you alright? Are you feeling better? Bakit galit na galit si Dad?” sunod-sunod na tanong nito.
Hindi makasagot si Lucky.
Kate sneered at him. “Go on, tell him, too.”
VOTES AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED
If you’ve read this novel before, you will know that I’ve totally altered this scene. I had a “what if” moment yesterday and thought, why not write an alternate scenario? And this is what I came up with. Stay tuned.
Thank you all for your votes and nice comments and all the encouragement. I try to stay away from negativity as much as possible, but there are times when I need to address some issues and clarify things. Thank you all for understanding.
I love you all. xoxo
28
SOUNDTRACK
APOLOGIZE by Timbaland
SA PAGKAKATAONG IYON, gusto ng takasan ng tapang si Lucky, ngunit naroon na siya, lubos-lubusin na niya. Isang bagsakan na lang ng rebelasyon.
Muli siyang tumayo at hinarap si DL.
“Lucky…” tawag sa kanya ni Selena na tahimik lang sa isang tabi kanina. “Hijo, you don’t need to do this now. May bukas pa,” puno ng simpatiyang sabi nito.
“Thank you, Tita, but I need to do this.”
Malungkot na tumango ito. “I can’t witness this anymore. Please, be kind to each other, kids. Life is too short.”
Iyon lang at lumabas na rin ito ng silid.
DL raised his brows, waiting.
“Your sister is pregnant. I’m the father,” wala ng pasubali niyang sabi.
Natulala si DL. Nablangko ang mukha. Nalilitong nilingon nito si Kate, saka muling tumingin sa kanya. Medyo natawa pa ito. “What…? You’re kidding, right?”
“I’m sorry, I’m afraid not, DL. Of course, I’ll marry her.”
Sa sobrang shock nito ay hindi ito nakakilos. Naubos na marahil ang aggression nito kay Nico kanina at betrayal na lang ang naghari sa mga mata nito habang nakatitig sa kanya. And it was killing him even more. Mas gugustuhin na lang niyang pisikal siyang saktan rin nito.
“Why, Luck?” mahinang tanong nito makalipas ang ilang segundong pagkatigalgal, puno ng disappointment ang mga mata.
DL was practically his brother, and they were very close. Napakarami na nilang pinagsamahan, lalo na sa Lothario. They were each other’s keeper, kumbaga.
“I’m sorry, man. Hindi ko sinasadya. Nangyari na lang. Pero handa akong panagutan siya anumang oras,” mahina niyang sagot.
Namasa ang mga mata nito. Pagkuwa’y napailing-iling. “You fuck. You…” His words trailed off as he looked at him in rueful disbelief.
Umatras ito. “Pinagkatiwalaan ka namin. You were one of us. You were my brother. The code, man, remember? The fucking CODE!” asik nito sa kanya at muling lumapit, malakas siyang itinulak sa dibdib. Napaatras siya.
“DL, please, no more violence tonight. Hindi ko na kaya,” sabi ni Kate.
Nilingon ni DL ang kapatid. “Kayo na ba ni Lucky?” tanong nito.
Umiling si Kate. “Hindi, pero matatanda na kami. We don’t need your permission to do anything.”
Bumalik sa kanya ang tingin ni DL. “Gano’n ba ’yon, Luck?”
Umiling siya. “I’ve always respected the Code. Pero mahina ako pagdating sa kanya. Kasalanan ko.”
He didn’t only break their friendship, he also broke their brotherhood at Lothario, the one cardinal rule that really mattered to each member above all else– The Code. The Code expressly stated that when a member has called dibs on a woman, every member must respect it. Never disrespect another member by coveting his woman. Never approach his daughter, stepdaughter, sister, female cousin and niece with dishonorable intentions. From DL’s point of view, getting her only sister pregnant out of wedlock was a grave disrespect. He didn’t want it to happen that way. He would have wanted to court Kate like a gentleman, make her fall in love with him, ask her to marry him, respectfully ask for her parents’ blessing and her brother’s as well, then marry her and have kids with her. But it didn’t happen that way.
“I love her, man. That’s my only defense. Forgive me.”
Natahimik si DL, nanatiling nakatingin lang sa kanya. Pagkuwa’y muling nilingon ang kapatid. “Narinig mo ’yon, Kate?”
“What about you brother? You love me, right?”
“Ano ba namang tanong ’yan? Siyempre.”
“That’s why you never told me Nico was screwing women behind my back in that club?”
Natigilan si DL. Muling bumalik ang tingin sa kanya. “You fucking broke another code?”
“I don’t care what stupid codes you have in that club! I’m your sister and you should have protected me from that. I expected it from you. I’m your family, not that club and its members!”
“Kate, listen–”
“No, you listen to me! You have no moral ascendancy to judge Nico because in the first place, you condoned what he did. Galit ka na iniwan niya ako? Na napahiya ako at ang pamilya natin? Bakit? Hinayaan mo rin namang makarating sa gano’n, di ba? It doesn’t matter which woman he left me for, you knew without any shadow of doubt he was not faithful to me from the start! Both of you knew and you did nothing. In fact, you both covered for him. So, don’t lecture me about what to do with my life. You’ve both lost that right.”
Napayuko si DL, natahimik. Pagkuwa’y huminga ito nang malalim. “I’m sorry, Kate. I really am.”
“Apology NOT accepted. Yet.”
“I understand. We will talk about this again. Ayusin muna ninyo ’yong sa inyong dalawa.”
Iyon lang at lumabas na ito ng silid.
Namayani ang katahimikan.
Nilapitan niya si Kate sa kama.
“KATE… Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin?”
“For exactly this reason. You. Them. Total chaos.”
Humakbang siya palapit pa rito, but her eyes froze him. “Don’t.”
Huminto siya at helpless na tumitig dito. “Please, understand, angel…I had to do it. I just couldn’t let them think someone else is the father of the baby. It’s mine, Kate. May karapatan ako. Anak ko ’yan.”
Hinaplos nito ang tiyan. “Yes, this is your baby, too, but this is my body, Luck. This is my life. This is my future.”
“So, you’d rather let them think someone else fathered the baby and not me? Is that what you’re trying to say? Some mysterious guy you had a one night stand with? Or someone you’ve been secretly dating? O si Aris ba? Mas okay pa bang sila ang ituro mong ama kesa sa akin?”
“How dare you even say that! I will never invent an imaginary father for my baby or point at an unsuspecting man as the father!”
Umalsa na rin ang galit niya. “Then what, Kate? Tell me what am I supposed to do under the circumstances?”
“Stop railroading me! Stop trying to control everything!”
Nakuyom niya ang mga palad, pilit na kinalma ang sarili at pinanaig ang rasyonalidad. They needed to talk as responsible adults, alang-alang sa kanilang magiging anak. Hindi pa rin siya makapaniwalang magiging ama na siya.
“Ilang buwan na ang baby?” malumanay na tanong niya.
“Three months.”
Hindi siya makapaniwala. Mahirap maging kalma sa nalaman niya. “So you lied to me? When I broached the subject to you, you said you were taking pills. Were you really?”
“No, it was too late to take pills. Yes, I admit I lied. I was very confused. I needed time to think without you railroading me into marriage.”
“And what have you decided to do? Were you even planning to tell me at all?”
“Yes. I was gonna tell you.”
“When? Obviously not before you went out with Aris.”
“Leave him out of this. Wala siyang alam.”
“Yet you dragged him into this.”
“Bakit? Bawal na akong makipagkaibigan sa iba dahil buntis ako? What gives you the right to put me in a box of your moralistic standards? You were out with Klaudia, too.”
“I’m not judging your choice as a woman. I’m just angry that you stripped me of my right to know about the baby. You’ve been very unfair to me, Kate.”
“And now that you know? What now? Are you going to be as predictable as my parents?”
“I just want what’s best for you, and the baby.”
“What’s best for me and the baby or what’s best for you?”
Bumikig ang lalamunan niya. “Ganoon na ba ako kasamang tao sa paningin mo, Kate? You’re making me pay for what I did by depriving me of my right to give my first child my name. To provide it with a complete family.”
“Please do not turn this into that kind of choice for me. Like I would be the worst person if I don’t marry the father of my child. You’re way better than that, Luck. The baby will carry your name if you so wish. I just don’t want anybody’s name attached to mine right now. But when I do decide to get married, I will consider your offer, if it still stands. In the meantime, we can co-parent our baby.”
Ilang saglit niya itong tinitigan. She was talking about it like she had it all planned out, while he was falling apart inside.
“That baby is my life, too,” mahina niyang nausal. “What about my life, Kate?”
“So, you want us to marry? Like this? When my parents are so disappointed in me and they all feel betrayed by you? When I’m still a mess and you…Oh, you’re brilliant and always right on cue. No matter how angry and disappointed they are with you, the Deleste family name comes above all else. Pero alam mo na ’yon, di ba? You always make your move like a shrewd businessman. Even if they hate your guts right now, you know they will still want us to marry before I’d embarrass the family when my baby bump starts to show. You know that in the end, they’d all be in your corner. And of course, I won’t let you take all the blame for this disaster. It’s unfair to you, the great hero of this family. Napakalaki ng utang na loob namin sa ’yo. I have to go explain to them later that this was all my fault because I seduced you on the night Nico left me, and I got myself pregnant because of that. That’s the right thing to do, right? I can’t let them hate you. No, that would be so unfair to you.”
Her patronizing tone hurt like acid on his already sore wounds. “Do not mock me.”
“I’m not mocking you. Just stating facts.”
He sighed deeply. “God, Kate, what happened to us? Why are we never on the same page anymore?”
“Good question. Maybe if you’ll pause and listen closely to what I’m saying, you will know the answer.”
Humulagpos ang galit niya. “I don’t listen? I’ve been listening to you for months! All the shit you told me about, and the ones you didn’t! I felt all your pain like they were mine, and I hurt with you! But what about you, Kate? Have you listened to me recently? Really listened to what I’m saying? Ngayon mismo? Nakikinig ka ba sa akin ngayon? Kung ano’ng nararamdaman ko? I just found out by accident that I’m to be a father and you wanted me to shut up about it? I can’t even celebrate this great news because you resent that I acknowledged my own kid to your family! Are you for fucking real?!”
“You should have waited for me to do that! It was my call, Luck!”
“It was my call, too! Do you even realize I’ve said I love you several times in this room tonight and all you feel is your own stupid pain?! There are people who care about you, Kate! The world is not all about your fucking pain!”
Muling tumulo ang mga luha nito. “My stupid pain…” mahinang pag-uulit nito.
“Yes, the stupid pain caused by that asshole who dumped you that you’ve been pouring on me for months like a fucking torrential rain! But I took it all, Kate! I took it all for you! Because I’m your best friend! And because I love you!”
Umiling-iling ito, pinahid ng mga kamay ang mga luha. “Funny, but all I feel from you right now is not your love, but your desire to win. You hate losing. You have to win everything at all costs. It’s no wonder you’re a casino owner and not a gambler. Segurista ka, Luck. You don’t play unless you have a winning hand. You don’t really care about how I feel. You only care about how you feel. This baby is your winning hand and you’re using it now to call the shots and get what you want at the expense of almost everything. And it’s pretty obvious now, even at the expense of our friendship.”
“Wow.” Napailing-iling siya. “Is that how you really see me, Kate? After all this time?”
Nagkibit-balikat ito at ngumiti nang may pait. “Your actions speak for themselves.”
She was sitting on the bed, looking fragile, but she was a boulder. Immovable. Impenetrable. And he was a bunch of debris falling down from the sky, shattering into pieces at her feet. And she couldn’t even see it. She probably never would.
In that moment, the pain in his heart froze into a solid block of ice.
And his love for her turned to hate.
“You’re such a heartless bitch.”
Walang lingong nilisan niya ang silid nito.
He couldn’t stand the sight of her anymore.
VOTES AND COMMENTS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED
I decided to continue an alternate scenario for this chapter. I thought, what if Kate and Lucky really talked to each other on the spot amid all the chaos with Kate’s family? What emotions could I bring out of them both that are fueled by their respective situation? Let’s see if you would empathize with either or both of them. This is quite challenging for a writer, you know? To unravel each character’s psyche, their strengths and weaknesses. Thanks for reading!
PS. I’m amused by your varied reactions. Opposite reactions, even. This is actually a social experiment. I’m learning from this a lot, especially about women psychology. xoxo
29
SOUNDTRACK
IF I WERE A BOY by Beyonce
Words are deadlier than the sharpest blade. They can kill a thousand times more than a mortal wound. The latter lays your body to rest. The former condemns your soul to a living hell. And more often than not, we utter these words to the ones we love.
PARANG AYAW NG BUMANGON NI KATE nang umagang iyon, pero kailangan. Ang bigat-bigat ng kalooban niya. Halos wala siyang tulog nang nagdaang gabi. Madaling araw na nang igupo siya ng pagod sa utak at katawan. Saka lang siya nakatulog.
Today was no different. She had to face her family again and deal with them. Lalo na ang kanyang ama. Ito ang mataas na pader na kailangan niyang matibag para makausad siya sa bahaging iyon ng buhay niya.
Bumangon siya at nagtungo sa banyo, naligo at nagbihis. Saka siya bumaba sa dining room. Linggo ngayon, kadalasan ay sabay na nag-aalmusal ang mga magulang niya sa sun room.
Ngunit wala ang mga ito ngayon sa sun room. May nakahandang pagkain ngunit mukhang wala pang gumagalaw. Sumilip siya sa karatig na kusina. “Yaya Nena,” tawag niya sa isa sa mga maids nilang matagal ng nanunungkulan sa pamilya nila.
“Ma’am Kate, good morning po. Kakain na po kayo?”
“Ah, sina Mommy at Daddy, kumain na ba?”
“Ay, opo. Nagpahatid po sila ng pagkain sa kwarto nila kanina.”
“Ahh.” Parang alam na niya kung bakit. Ayaw siyang makita ng mga magulang. Iniiwasan siya.
“Sandali lang po, Ma’am. Ikukuha ko kayo ng orange juice.”
Bumalik siya sa sun room at naupo. Wala siyang gana pero pinilit niyang kumain. Kailangan ng baby niya ang tamang sustansiya. Inihatid ni Nena ang baso niya nang malamig na orange juice.
“Salamat.”
Maya-maya’y pumasok si DL sa sun room. Naka-gym outfit ito, nangingintab sa pawis ang balat, mukhang katatapos lang mag-work out. Natigilan ito nang makita siya.
Medyo nag-alangan ito sa may archway. Pumormal ang mukha nito at walang imik na nilampasan siya at pumasok sa kitchen. Pagbalik ay may dala itong bote ng mineral water. Walang imik pa rin itong umupo sa isang silyang kaharap niya at uminom mula sa botelyang hawak.
Walang imik rin siyang nagpatuloy sa pagkain, hindi ito pinansin.
“Kate…”
“Hmm?” aniyang ngumunguya, hindi tumitingin dito.
“Kate, look at me.”
Huminto siya sa pagkain at tumingin nang diretso rito.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
Her brother rarely sat down with her in a serious talk. He was not an emotional person and was rarely verbally expressive of his affection. He was more of an action guy. He’d usually buy her expensive stuff, but to tell her straight that he loved her? Not his thing. He must be feeling extremely guilty to be doing this. But she wouldn’t let him off the hook that easily.
“But you betrayed me. You don’t betray the ones you love.”
“I did not…Kate, the club…”
Tinaasan niya ito ng kilay. “Yes? What about that damn club again?”
He clenched his jaw. “I apologize for everything. You weren’t supposed to find out about those things—”
“And why not? Gano’n ba kayo roon? Nagtutulungang itago ang mga baho ng isa’t isa? What happens in the club remains in the club, gano’n?”
His eyes became hard. “I don’t want to talk about the club.”
Nagkibit-balikat siya. “Okay.” Nagpatuloy siya sa pagkain at hindi na ulit ito pinansin.
“Nangako si Nico noon sa akin na kapag mag-asawa na kayo, aalis na siya sa club at magiging faithful siya sa ’yo.”
“Wow. Some consolation. Isa rin ba ’yan sa mga macho bullshit ninyo sa club?”
“Kate, please…”
“What’s with that club? Is it a cult or something that you forgot your own sister? Secondary lang ba ang pamilya sa club na ’yon?”
“The answer to you question is no. What happened was a hard lesson learned for me. I’m really sorry, but I will no longer discuss it.” May pinalidad sa boses nito.
Muli siyang nagkibit-balikat. “Okay.”
Bumalik si Nena na may dalang tasa ng kape para kay DL. “Salamat, Nena.”
“What happened to you and Lucky?” tanong nito nang makaalis ang maid.
“I will not discuss it,” ganting sagot niya.
Bahagyang naningkit ang mga mata nito. “Kate…”
“I don’t owe you any explanation.”
“Fine. What about our parents?”
“They’re my problem. Kakausapin ko sila maya-maya.”
“What are you going to tell them?”
“The same thing I told them last night. That I’m not ready to get married again.”
“They will not like it.”
“I know. I might get kicked out of this house today. If that happens, will you let me temporarily stay in your condo until I can find my own place? Dito ka na muna pumirmi sa bahay. It’s your turn to mind our parents yamang hindi ka busy sa karera. You owe me.”
“Kate, kailangan bang makarating sa gano’n? Bakit hindi na lang kayo magpakasal ni Lucky?”
“Wow, ang bilis mong naka-recover ah. Last night you were going to kill Nico. Lucky is getting a light sentence from you, brother.”
“Because I know Lucky will take good care of you. Hindi siya katulad ni Nico. He’s standing by you.”
“I can take care of myself.”
Napailing ito. “Why are you so stubborn now?”
“Hindi mo siguro maiintindihan kasi hindi nangyari sa ’yo ang nangyari sa akin. All your life, you’ve been free to do what you wanted. Hindi ka ipinagkasundo kahit kanino. Nagtataka rin nga ako, bakit ako ang ipinagkasundo at hindi ikaw? You’re the first born, the son, the one who must have the biggest responsibility in producing heirs that would carry the family name. So, bakit hanggang ngayon ay wala kang nakakontratang mapapangasawa?”
Hindi ito nakaimik.
“You know why? Because you’re a man, and men run things in this family. The Deleste men have the privilege of choice and time. And because you, brother, are in a different league of alpha, you assert your freedom to choose without apologies. You dance to the beat of your own drum. Hindi ka kontrolado ng parents natin. Rebelde ka, and they can’t lose their only son. So, you’re taking your time, doing all the things you love to do, travelling the world, racing, risking your life in the name of thrill until such time na magsawa ka at maghanap na rin ng mapapangasawa. You will marry only when you’re ready, and to the woman of your choice. Me? I was sixteen when that contract was drawn, got engaged at 18 and spent the last few years of my life waiting in the sidelines for my fiance to be ready to marry me. Unlike you, masunurin akong anak. Noon.”
“We thought you loved Nico. We thought you wanted to marry him.”
“Right. That was the only good thing in that arrangement. But it turned out, katulad mo si Nico. Rebelde rin. And he exercised his right to choose, though he had terrible timing. Here I am now, jilted, pregnant from my moments of emotional chaos. I love this baby like nothing else, but I wish it came when I was feeling better inside. And you want me to jump right into another marriage? Dahil lang buntis ako? Pile more mistakes on top of my other mistakes?”
Huminga ito nang malalim. “Okay Kate, I get you. But you and Lucky have been so close. Surely, that’s enough foundation to start on? You’re friends. He loves you. I can see.”
Malungkot siyang ngumiti. “Noon, mababaw ang standards ko sa marriage. Kasi hindi ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na magkaroon ng sarili kong standards sa pagpili ng lalaking mapapangasawa ko. Now, I want to have my own. I’m not ready for marriage right now. Kung mahal ako ni Lucky, maghihintay siya. Maiintindihan niya ako, katulad ng pag-intindi mo sa akin ngayon. Kung hindi…” She shrugged. “We’re not meant to be.”
“Iba ako, iba siya. I’m your brother, he’s the father of your baby. Magkaiba ang pinanggagalingan namin, Kate.”
“No, I don’t believe that. Love is love.” Tumawa siya nang hilaw. “Wow, I thought I’d be cynical after what happened to me. But I’ve become even more idealistic. But now, at least, I truly know what it means. I’m not looking at it through rose-colored lenses anymore. It’s no longer a fairy tale. It’s reality, and it’s not all pretty. You gotta make tough choices.”
“Don’t you love him?”
She looked away. Kinapa ang damdamin. There was a bittersweet feeling in her heart as she thought of Lucky. A huge hole that she wished she could fill. But she didn’t know how. She had nothing in her to fill it with.
“I do. I’ve always loved him in this indefinable way. But deep in my heart, it’s not enough for me to marry him right now. I want more. Not from him. From myself. For myself.”
Tumango-tango si DL. “Okay. Nasa tamang edad ka na. You know what’s best for you and that is the most important thing to me. I hope things will work out fine in the end. Whatever happens, nandito lang ako para sa ’yo.”
She smiled at him. “I still don’t forgive you. You have to do better than that.”
He smiled back ruefully. “I know. I know.”
HER FATHER WAS NOT AS UNDERSTANDING AS HIS SON.
“Mom, Dad, alam kong napakalaking sama ng loob ang naidulot ko sa inyo. I know you’re so disappointed in me. Please, forgive me. Naging reckless ako, at ngayon ay napunta ako sa sitwasyong ito. Nadadamay kayo sa mga pagkakamali ko.”
His father’s face was stoic. “I don’t need you to ask for my forgiveness. I want you to rectify your mistakes. Huwag mo akong bigyan ng ganitong klaseng kahihiyan, Katrina,” he uttered in a gravelly voice. He looked haggard as though he hadn’t slept much last night, too. And the guilt was killing her.
“Dad, please understand, I don’t want to get married again so soon after what happened to me and Nico. I want some time for myself.”
“You lost that privilege when you allowed yourself to get pregnant.”
Napaiyak na siya. “Dad, I’m begging you…”
“Enough! This conversation is over. Huwag mo akong kakausapin ulit kung hindi mo kasama si Lucky. Sabay kayong magpaliwanag sa akin. Straighten up your life, Katrina. Repair what you have destroyed. Then come talk to me again.”
Iyon lang at tinalikuran na siya ng ama.
“Anton, please…!”
Huminto ang ama at hinarap ang asawa. Nagtalo sa kanyang harapan ang kanyang mga magulang. Nasigawan. Umiiyak ang kanyang Mommy, nakikiusap. Matigas ang kanyang Daddy, hindi natinag. Noon lamang niya na-witness na nag-away ang mga ito, at siya ang dahilan.
Tahimik na nilisan niya ang silid.
NAKATULALA SIYANG NAKATITIG SA KAWALAN.
“Anak…”
Lumapit ang kanyang Mommy sa kinauupuan niyang bench sa hardin ng kanilang mansiyon, tumabi sa kanya.
“Please, don’t try to convince me anymore to get married to save face, Mom. I can’t do it. I just can’t.”
“Hindi…Hindi anak. Naiintindihan naman kita.”
Malungkot siyang bumaling sa ina. “I’m so sorry, Mom.”
“Shhh. Sana noon mo pa sinabi sa akin, hija. Mag-isa mong dinala ito.”
“Nalilito kasi ako, Mom. At nahihiya ako sa inyo. Nagi-guilty. Kasalanan ko naman ito pero madadamay kayo sa kahihiyan.”
“Shhh. Don’t say that. You’re my daughter. Masakit man sa akin itong nangyari sa ’yo… I would have wanted you to fall in love again and marry the man you love…pero nariyan na ’yan, anak. Tatanggapin ko.”
Napaiyak siyang muli. “Thank you, Mom. Thank you.”
“Okay ba ang health mo? Alagaan mo ang sarili mo ha? From now on, sasamahan kita pag pupunta ka sa doctor para magpa-check up. First apo ko yan, eh.”
Ngumiti siya. Malaking kaluwagan sa dibdib niya ang pagtanggap at pang-unawa ng kanyang ina.
Yumakap siya rito. “Mom, si Daddy…”
“Hayaan mo muna siya. He’ll come around.”
I love you, Mom.“
“I love you, too.”
NANG MGA SUMUNOD NA ARAW ay pinilit ni Kate na gawing normal ang buhay niya. Pumasok siya sa trabaho. She had to force herself to go to work and do her responsibilities. She had employees who depended on her for their livelihood. She functioned like a robot.
Ngunit sa tuwing uuwi siya sa kanilang bahay, mararamdaman niya ang sobrang kahungkagan at kalungkutan. Napakalaki ng bahay nila ngunit may kakaibang energy iyon noon. Masaya ang mga tao roon, pati ang mga kasambahay nila. Ngayon, napakatahimik ng kabahayan, parang wala ng nakatira. She couldn’t even hear music anymore when it used to fill every corner of this mansion from its sophisticated surround stereo system.
Ang bigat-bigat ng pakiramdam niya sa tuwing umuuwi siya. She hadn’t seen her father in five days. At hindi na niya kaya ang ganito. Parang siyang unti-unting namamatay araw-araw sa lungkot at guilt.
PUMASOK SI KATE SA SILID NG MGA MAGULANG nang gabing iyon.
“Pasensiya na po sa istorbo, Mom…Dad…”
“Hija!” Agad na tumayo ang ina mula sa kinauupuang armchair at sinalubong siya sa may pinto.
“Pwede ko po ba kayong makausap?”
“Halika, hija.”
Pumasok siya sa malawak na silid ng mga magulang. Naka-pajamas na ang kanyang Daddy, mukhang matutulog na.
“Dad…”
Tiningnan lang siya nito, malamig ang mga mata.
“Dad, kausapin naman ninyo ako, please. Hirap na hirap na ako.”
“Si Lucky? Kasama mo?”
Umiling siya.
Tinalikuran siya nito. “Magpapahinga na kami ng Mommy mo.”
Pumagitna ang kanyang Mommy. “Anton, please! Pakinggan mo ang bata.”
But her father was as unyielding as a mountain of rocks. “Bea, enough.”
“Wala na ba akong karapatang mamili, Dad? Ganito na lang ba palagi ang buhay ko?” mahina ang tinig na tanong niya.
Doon siya muling hinarap nito. And his words cut her even deeper this time.
“You know what I and our family represent to society, to the whole country. For generations we have thrived because we take care of our reputation. Reputation is everything, Katrina. I am the patriarch of this family and I have the responsibility to protect our name, in the same sense that you have the responsibility to protect it. Anak kita, at hindi ordinaryo ang katayuan mo sa buhay. Being my first and only daughter is a position of prestige and power in this society, and such privileges come with great responsibilities. You know this, don’t you?”
She had always known her father to be a tough, straitlaced businessman. But she had never witnessed this side of him for real. This ruthless, uncompromising side of him. His words rang true. She knew this from the start. Ang bigat-bigat lang dalhin at nakapatong sa mga balikat niya ang ganitong klaseng responsibilidad, ang maging perpektong anak, ang maging ehemplo ng kanilang angkan. Bawal siyang magkamali.
“Dad.” Pumiyok ang tinig niya. “Please, don’t make me choose this way. Mahal ko po kayo ni Mommy.”
“Hindi ko kailangan ang pagmamahal mo ngayon. Mas kailangan ko ang respeto mo sa pangalang ibinigay ko sa ’yo.”
Tumulo ang mga luha niya.
“If you can’t fulfill your obligations to the family, you’re not worthy to carry my name.”
“Anton!” na-shock ang kanyang ina.
Nakagat niya ng pang-ibanag labi para pigilan ang mapahagulgol. She tried to collect herself together and meet her father’s eyes again.
“I’m sorry, Dad. Hindi ko na kaya. Hindi ko na kayang maging perpektong anak ninyo. I’m so sorry. Sana mapatawad ninyo ako balang araw.”
Tumalikod na siya at tinungo ang pinto.
“Anton, pease! Anak, please, don’t go!?!”
Parang dinudurog ang puso niya sa naririnig na hinagpis ng kanyang Mommy.
“Katrina!” her father’s thunderous voice stopped her in her tracks.
Huminto siya sa paglakad.
“If you leave my house, you leave everything that you represent behind. Everything.”
Ngumiti siya nang may pait at nilingon ang ama. “So, you’re disinheriting me, too?”
His eyes were as cold as his voice. “Your inheritance is not a right. It is a privilege. It must be earned.”
Marahan siyang tumango. “Thank you, Dad. Thank you for everything.”
Umiyak na ang kanyang ina, nakiusap sa asawa.
Hindi na niya natagalan, nilisan niya ang silid.
KATE LEFT HER PARENTS’ MANSION sa kabila ng pagpipigil ng ina. Hindi na siya makakatagal pa roon. Mauubusan siya ng lakas. Her father hated her.
DL took her to his three-bedroom condo at the Raffles Residences. He offered to help her and she was so glad he was around. Kay DL siya hihiram ngayon ng pantawid niya sa phase na ito ng buhay niya. DL’s money didn’t come from the Deleste coffers. Mayaman ang kapatid niya sa sariling perang kinikita sa international racing career nito. He was also a wise investor and was a shareholder in many companies. Independent ito mula sa ama nila.
“I promise, loan lang ang lahat ng ito. I won’t be a free-loader, D. I will work very hard to earn my own money from now on.”
“Shut up. Ano ba’ng pinagsasabi mo? You can stay here for as long as you want,” anitong ibinagsak ang sarili sa sectional sofa. “Talagang tinotoo mong lalayas ka ha?”
“I had to do it out of respect for Dad.”
“Respect? You broke our parents’ hearts the second time.”
Nahilot niya ang noo. “Please, give me a break from that, DL. I’m really drained tonight. I need to work tomorrow.”
He sighed in resignation. “Gusto mong samahan kita rito?”
“Tapos magdadala ka ng mga babae mo rito? No, thanks. Doon ka sa iba mong condos magkalat. I want complete privacy.”
Natawa ito. “Sabagay.”
“By the way, Dad disinherited me.”
Nandilat ang mga mata nito. “What?!”
“Yeah. Balak ko sanang bumili ng sarili kong condo kaya lang nakakahiya namang kumuha pa ako sa perang ipinamana sa akin when I turned 21. I’ve never touched that money. You know how Dad had taught me never to use my own money when investing into businesses. That I should look for investors and use their money instead, and just use mine as collateral. But anyway, so much for mana-mana. I’m officially a disinherited Deleste black sheep. Sa ngayon, wala na akong funds to spare. Halos lahat ng pera ko ay nakatali sa negosyo ko, lalo na at mag-o-open ’yong new store ko.”
“I can loan you money. Huwag mo ng problemahin ’yon.”
“I’m fine, thanks. May naipon naman ako, and my Rockwell store is doing well. ’Yung export business ko is thriving already. Rerentahan ko lang muna itong condo mo, ha. Mas matipid kaysa bibili ako ng bago.”
He snorted. “You can’t afford to rent this place right now, sweetheart. Ipunin mo na lang ’yan. Gusto mo, iyo na ’to. Bibili ako ng iba.”
She ignored him. He was starting to sound like their father. “I mean it, DL. Just give me a good price, okay? Presyong kapatid muna. I promise, pag nag-open na ang new store ko, I’ll pay the right rent.”
He sighed, shaking his head. “Bahala ka na nga. Ang taas ng pride mo. Hindi ko maabot.”
Inismiran niya ito. “Sus, ikaw ba, mababa ang pride mo?”
“Touche, sister. God! Who the hell are you?” he said, exasperated.
“Kate version two-point-O. Take it or take it.”
He grunted. “Okay ka lang ba rito? Mag-isa ka lang.”
Huminga rin siya nang malalim. “That would actually be a welcome change for me. Come to think of it. I’ve never been alone in my life.”
“Careful what you wish for.”
Nginitian niya ang kapatid. “Thanks, bro. I owe you.”
“Am I forgiven?”
“Hmm.” She looked away and walked toward the panoramic glass windows. The Makati Skyline was breathtaking from this vantage point. Pakiramdam niya’y nakakahinga siya nang maluwag, kahit papaano. Makakapag-isip siya rito.
Tumayo si DL, lumapit sa kanya at inakbayan siya, hinalikan sa buhok.
“I admire what you did, sis. You’ve got balls.”
She closed her eyes, humilig sa dibdib nito. God, how she had missed her brother like this. Bihira silang ganito. Palagi itong nasa ibang bansa para mangarera. But now, he was here when she needed him the most.
“That means a lot to me.”
VOTES AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED. Pampaganang mag-UD.
I know many of you are hating on Kate and may not be agreeing to her decisions. That’s fine, but I’m telling a story here with characters with distinct personalities. Kate and Lucky are both flawed. They make mistakes, and they adapt and make decisions to survive their respective struggles. They are certainly not perfect. I’m an author who likes to explore characterization. My heroines are either tough, spirited, willful women, or just coming into their own, finding their power. Hindi ako nagsusulat ng heroine na martir from beginning to end:) Baka hero pa.:)
If you have a better idea how to write a better version of Kate or Lucky, you’re welcome to fan-fic their characters and give us something to read:) I’d be interested about what you can come up with. But here on this page, I am the one telling the story the way I envision my characters to be. Take it or take it.:)
Obvious na hindi tayo matatapos this X-mas, dahil humaba ang story, pero hopefully bago mag-New Year, tapos na. Cross fingers!
Merry Christmas! xoxo
30
SOUNDTRACK
SOMEONE YOU LOVED cover by Brittany Maggs; orig by Lewis Capaldi
THE NEXT THING KATE DID WAS TELL HER FRIENDS. She couldn’t continue on her day-to-day struggle to rebuild her life if she wasn’t honest with them.
Dumating sina Karen, Lara at Nessa nang sabay sa condo ni DL.
“Girl, why are you here? What happened!” salubong ni Karen.
“Wow, this place is dope!” sabi ni Lara na agad na iginagala ang paningin sa kalawakan ng condo. “I’ve always wanted a unit here pero di ko pa ma-afford.”
Her brother hired an interior design firm to do his place, but he asked her to choose the artworks and styling. The result was a blend of ultra-masculine architectural lines and retro-ish vibe. He was quite happy about it.
“Oh, so dito mo pala inilagay ’yung isa sa mga binili mong paintings ko,” natutuwa namang sabi ni Karen habang nakatingin sa malaking painting na nakasabit sa isang prominenteng parte ng living room. Karen’s abstract art was perfect on that wall. “Fantastic!”
“Hey, you okay?” tanong ni Nessa na naupo sa tabi niya sa sofa.
She sighed and shook her head.
“Guys!” tawag ni Nessa sa dalawa nilang mga kaibigan na abalang nag-uusyoso sa condo, sinenyasan ang mga itong lumapit. Agad namang lumapit ang mga ito at naupo sa sofa.
“Hey…you don’t look good. What happened?” muling usisa ni Karen.
Huminga siya nang malalim. “Guys, there’s something you need to know. I haven’t been completely honest with you this whole time.”
Her friends leaned closer to her, their eyes anticipating.
“I’m pregnant.”
Napamulagat ang mga ito.
“Oh…” si Nessa.
“Pregnant? Whoa, so you and Nico did it, after all?” si Karen.
“Oh my God, I can’t even…! You, preggers?! You, Kate? Wait…This is good, right? This means magkakabalikan kayo ni Nico?” si Lara.
“It’s not Nico’s,” sansala niya sa mga ito.
Lalong nanlaki ang mga mata ng mga ito.
“It’s Lucky’s.”
Nalaglag ang mga baba ng mga ito sa sobrang shock.
“I’m so sorry. I should have told you sooner.”
“Lucky?!” bulalas ni Karen na biglang tumayo.
“Karen…”
“W-w-wait. How? When…?” nagugulumihanang tanong nito.
“You were there when Nico came to our house, di ba? Then I ran off. Pumunta ako sa Batangas, sa resthouse ni Lucky. I didn’t know where else to go na hindi ako masusundan agad nina Daddy. I called Lucky. Then it happened. I wasn’t thinking straight that time, Karen…”
“But…but I’ve been making a freaking fool out of myself the whole time harping about him, and you told me nothing! Fuck, Kate!”
“Kary…I’m sorry…”
“Don’t you Kary me! My Gaaah, this is so fucking awkward. Whew!” Pinaypayan nito ang mukha ng kamay.
“Oh come, on girl. You actually thought all this time that Lucky was into you? Get real. No offense, you can have any other man you want but that guy was never into you. I never saw it,” si Lara.
“That is not the point! The point is Kate lied to me! Natatawa ka ba sa akin noon, ha, Kate? Parang tanga lang ako ’no? Nag-iilusyon sa harap mo, ’yon pala, kayo na ni Lucky.”
“Kary, I’m so sorry. I just didn’t–”
“So, you were not thinking straight ba kamo the first time? After what happened in Batangas, naulit ba? O hindi na?”
Napayuko siya.
“Karen that’s none of your business already! Hindi mo boyfriend si Lucky na kailangan magpaalam si Kate sa ’yo para makipag-sex sa kanya! Lumugar ka nga!” si Nessa.
Napailing-iling si Karen. “This is low. So low, Kate. God! I can’t believe you!” Dinampot nito ang bag at galit na nilisan ang condo, ibinagsak pasara ang pinto
Lumaylay ang mga balikat niya. Naiyak siya.
“Oh, girl,” ani Nessa at niyakap siya.
Hinagod naman ni Lara ang likod niya. Nang mahimasmasan siya ay umayos siya nang upo. “I’m really sorry, guys. I should have told you, kaya lang…”
“No, you have no obligation to tell us everything. Buhay mo ’yan and there are things that we keep to ourselves for whatever reason,” si Lara.
Napangiti siya nang malamlam. “Thank you.”
“So, since we’re here now, care to tell us the rest? Naguguluhan pa rin ako. So, magpapakasal kayo ni Lucky?” si Nessa.
Umiling siya.
“Bakit? Surely, he’s going to marry you? The guy’s crazy about you. Nakita ko ’yan noon pa.”
She sighed. “I don’t wanna get married.”
“But why?”
She sighed. Pagod na siyang magpaliwanag.
“Of course, she doesn’t wanna get married right now. After getting jilted practically at the altar three months ago and being gossiped about until now, do we actually expect her to plan another wedding to another man? Kahit ako naloloka sa ganyang development and I’m not even in her shoes. Gosh! Can you imagine Elite Insider’s headline if this comes out? They’re gonna have a field day! Effing juicy! Take this…Kate Deleste and her two billionaires. Jilted by her fiance, pregnant by her BFF. Who’s THE man?”
Pinandilatan ni Nessa si Lara. “Tssss!”
“What? It’s true, I really get it kung ayaw pa ni Kate na magpakasal sa baby daddy niya. I wouldn’t want to be in the middle of that tabloid clusterfuck.”
Muling bumukas ang pinto ng condo. Pumasok si Karen, maingat na ngayong isinara ang pinto.
Napatingin silang lahat dito, naghintay sa sasabihin nito.
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, ego has recovered. What did I miss?”
Nagtawanan sila at nagyakapan.
THIS TIME, Kate poured her heart out to her friends.
Sa pagkakataong ito, unanimous din ang naging reaksiyon ng mga ito.
“Men are such assholes!” Si Nessa.
“At nagkampihan talaga ang mga hudas at barabas! Ano ba ’yang club na yan, ha? Mapuntahan nga minsan,” gigil na gigil si Karen.
“Make him crawl, girl. He deserves it,” si Lara.
“I’m not trying to punish Lucky. I’m just taking it slow, giving myself space and time. Ayokong magmadali at lalong magkamali. Kung hindi niya maintindihan ’yon…wala akong magagawa.” She sighed.
“Hay naku, maraming lalaki, ’no!” si Nessa.
“Hmm, I disagree. In fairness, nag-iisa lang si Lucky. Walang katulad niya,” si Lara. “Sayang din pag nakawala.”
“I second that. Lucky is really a prize, assholic behavior aside,” si Karen. “Sayang talaga pag nasulot ng iba. Marami pa namang nagnanasa sa lalaking ’yon. Hindi na ako kasali ngayon, ha.”
“Really now?” tudyo ni Lara rito. “Wala na talaga?”
“Respeto sa kaibigan. Kate licked him na eh, incest namang mag-share pa kami. Yuck! Parang double-dipping lang.”
Hinampas ni Nessa ang braso ni Karen. “Eww ka talagang babae ka!”
Karen and Lara laughed and high-fived each other.
Napangiti si Kate habang nakikinig sa mga kaibigan. They were a bunch of crazies, but she adored them to bits.
“So, ano na ang next move mo, Katey? Mahahalata na ang tummy mo. Now that I know, nahahalata ko na nga,” ani Nessa na nakatingin sa tiyan niya. “My gosh, may bilbil ka na nga, girl!”
Nagkibit-balikat siya. “Help me buy cool maternity dresses?”
“Oh, yes! I know the best shop for that!” Excited na si Nessa.
“Does this mean no sex for the buntis kasi LQ kayo ni baby daddy ngayon?” si Karen.
“Oo nga naman. Masarap pa naman daw ang sex pag preggers ka,” si Lara.
Nag-blush siya kahit ang bigat ng loob niya.
“Uyyy, confirmed! Masarap ba, Katey, tell, tell!” susog ni Lara.
“Guys, ano ba,” pag-iwas niya. “Walang ganyanan.”
“Katey, you owe me this,” sabi ni Karen sa seryosong boses. “Dahil sinulot mo si Lucky sa akin, please, tell me at least, na hindi ako nagkamali sa mga pantasya ko sa kanya. Masarap ba siya?”
Napailing-iling siyang natawa. “Sobra.”
“Eeeeeek!” sabay na tili ng tatlo.
“This calls for a celebration! Magiging godmothers na tayo! Wooohoo!” sigaw ni Lara.
“I’ll go get some wine,” ani Nessa na tinakbo ang kitchen.
“I’ll order for some Japanese!” sabi naman ni Karen na nag-scan na sa cellphone nito.
Habang nagkakagulo ang mga kaibigan, lumayo si Kate sa mga ito at pumunta sa balcony. Mabini ang simoy ng hangin ngayong hapon.
Naisip niya si Lucky. He was never far from her mind. She wondered how he was doing now. Isang linggo na mahigit nang huli niya itong makita.
She could still vividly remember his parting words to her.
“You’re such a heartless bitch.”
Sa tuwing maiisip niya iyon ay nadudurog ang puso niya. How she wished it didn’t come to that. But it did.
Dumating siya sa puntong kinailangan niyang mamili. At sa pagkakataong iyon, mas pinili niya ang kanyang sarili. Nasaktan niya ang mga magulang. Nasaktan niya si Lucky. Ngunit kapag hindi niya ginawa ang kanyang ginawa, siya ang masasaktan habambuhay. She just couldn’t live another day being merely a shadow of her true self.
Nakita na niya ang tunay na silver lining sa pag-iwan sa kanya ni Nico. Hindi si Lucky iyon. Hindi rin ang baby niya. Ang silver lining ay ang pagkakatagpo niya ng tunay na siya. Isang babaing may sariling paninindigan, tapat sa sarili, may dignidad kahit nagigipit, at higit sa lahat, malayang mamuhay sa gusto niyang paraan.
At kung ang kapalit man niyon ay itakwil siya ng sariling ama, at kamuhian siya ni Lucky, so be it. Life was never easy, she knew that now.
Maybe it was too much to ask for her bestfriend to walk this journey of self-discovery with her without dragging her hand to whatever destination he wanted them to go. How she wished he would just walk beside her, not holding her hand, but just be there, standing by her and watching her come into her own.
But she couldn’t have everything. Nobody had everything.
This was the consequence of finding herself. Losing the ones she loved.
But she had to talk to Lucky. Heart to heart.
She owed him that.
GUSTONG MALANGO ni Lucky sa alak. Gusto niyang makalimutan ang mundo. Gusto niyang maging manhid ang buong pagkatao niya.
Nakaupo siya sa sahig, nakasandal sa paanan ng kama niya. He hurt like hell. Lahat ng parte ng katawan niya ay masakit, lahat ng kalamnan niya ay parang nadudurog. Pakiramdam niya ay naaagnas siya nang buhay.
He’d spent nearly his whole damned life worshipping her in silence, loving her even if it meant cutting his own heart to pieces…just to make her happy.
But he was never good enough for her. He was a fucking dreamer for even thinking that he could actually have her for real.
“Bitch!” sigaw niya sa kawalan at muling tumungga sa bote ng Jack Daniels. “Damn you, Kate. Damn you!”
“Luck…?”
And then she’d appear like this, standing there like an angel, so fucking beautiful. So fucking heartless. Was she mocking him?
“Leave me alone, you bitch!” Dinampot niya ang isang walang lamang bote ng alak at iniumang sa aparisyong nasa harapan niya.
“Luck!” sigaw ng aparisyon.
Natigilan siya, ipinilig ang ulong lango sa alak.
Dahan-dahang lumapit sa kanya ang aparisyon.
“Luck…”
And then he knew, she was no apparition. She was real. She came to see him. She dared to step into his penthouse after what she did, the bitch!
“What the fuck are you doing here, Kate?”
Lumuhod ito sa kanyang paanan, namamasa ang mga matang nakatingin sa kanya. The pity in her eyes sickened him. He didn’t want her pity. He didn’t want anything from her. Not anymore.
“Luck…” Her hands reached out to him.
“Don’t.” He clenched his fists at his sides. Hatred clawed out of his flesh. “Don’t touch me.”
“Luck, please…can we talk?”
“Get out,” he said quietly.
She touched his face. The simple touch sent a million arrows straight to his soul, hurting him all over again.
Marahas niyang tinabig ang kamay nito.
“Get the fuck out!!!” he roared.
He wanted to hurt her with his bare hands so fucking bad.
31
SOUNDTRACK
HINDI NAGPASINDAK SI KATE sa marahas sa tinig ni Lucky. Hindi siya aalis hangga’t hindi niya nasasabi rito ang mga dapat niyang sabihin,
He looked so gaunt. Parang halos hindi na ito kumain nang ilang araw. His bedroom was in disarray, the floor strewn with soiled clothes, overturned furniture, empty bottles and an ashtray full of cigarette butts. Lucky didn’t smoke. He was a health buff. It broke her heart that he was in this desolate state, na pinapabayaan na nito ang kalusugan.
His clothes looked rumpled as though he’d slept in them for days. His jaws were now shadowed with dark beard. He hadn’t shaved for days, too. Malamang ay hindi ito pumapasok sa trabaho. Lucky owned his own companies, and he was also on the workaholic side. For him to be missing work was an indication how badly he was taking it all.
Lumuhod siya sa harapan nito. “Luck…” muling sambit niya sa pangalan nito, hoping to reach that man who used to be her rock, her sanctuary, her bestfriend.
Ngunit mapanganib ang mga mata nito, nagbabaga sa poot. “Kate, I’m warning you. I’m in a very bad place right now. I don’t want you here. Leave,” paos ang tinig nito.
Ngumiti siya nang malamlam. “Bad place? We are both in a very bad place, Luck.”
Isinadal nito ang ulo sa dinding, pumikit. “I don’t care about your shit anymore. You’re not welcome here anymore.”
Humahagupit ang mga salitang binibitawan nito, pero tinanggap niya lahat ’yon. He was hurting, just like her. She did this to him, though it wasn’t her intention. Now, it was her turn to take the lashing.
“Is that my BFF talking or my lover’s super dented ego?”
Muling dumilat ang mga mata nito, malayelong tumitig sa kanya. “You think this is all about dented ego?”
“No…I’m sorry. No, it’s not.”
Tumingin ito sa kaliwa, iniwasan ang mga mata niya. Hindi na ito umimik pa. He was shutting himself in, shutting her out, building a wall between them to protect himself. She totally got that, too.
She gently touched the tips of his toes with her fingers, the part of his body nearest to her. “Luck, huwag ka namang ganito. Bakit mo pinapabayaan ang sarili mo?”
Iniurong nito ang paa palayo sa kamay niya. “What do you care, huh?”
“Of course, I care. Porke ba ayokong magpakasal, wala na akong pakialam sa ’yo?”
Bigla itong tumayo. “What the hell do you want from me, Kate? Why are you here telling me all this bullshit?! I don’t wanna hear any of this! I’m done listening to your shit!”
Tumulo ang mga luha niya.
“Ah, for fuck’s sake, will you quit the waterworks? Lahat ng gusto mo, sinunod ko! Ano pa ang gusto mo?”
Tinalikuran siya nito, lumakad palayo, palabas ng kuwarto.
Tumayo rin siya at hinabol ito. “Huwag mo akong tatalikuran! Kinakausap pa kita!”
Bigla siyang hinarap nito, nakakuyom ang mga kamao, nanlilisik ang mga mata. He looked murderous.
Matatag niyang inilapit ang mukha rito. “What? Are you gonna hit me now? Huh?”
Umatras ito at muling sumandal sa dinding, marahas na sinuklay ng mga daliri ang buhok.
Bigla niyang hinila ang braso nito. “Halika.”
He didn’t budge. He was tall and solidly built despite losing some weight. Hindi niya kaya ang lakas nito.
Dinalawang kamay niya ang paghila rito. “Halika sabi!”
“What the hell are you doing?!”
“Maligo ka!”
“What…?!”
“You’re wasted and not thinking straight! Maligo ka muna then mag-usap tayo!”
“I will not… Let go or you will hurt yourself, dammit, Kate!”
Pinuwersa niya ito.
Nagmumura itong sumunod sa kanya sa malawak na master’s bathroom. Itinulak niya ito sa loob ng glass shower cubicle at binuksan ang shower head. Rumagasa ang tubig sa buong katawan nito. Isinara niya ang cubicle habang malutong na nagmumura ito sa loob.
“I will wait for you outside!” aniya at lumabas ng banyo.
GALIT NA NAGHUBAD ng mga damit si Lucky. The cold water had awakened his sluggish cells, energizing his bloodstreams.
Nagsabon siya ng buong katawan, mabilis na kinuskos ang balat. She was actually here in his penthouse, the last place he’d expected her to step into again.
What the hell did she come here for? Ayaw niya itong makita. Hindi pa rin naiibsan ang sakit ng ginawa nito sa kanya, bagkus parang impeksiyon na lalo pang lumala. Namumuhi siya rito. Hindi niya akalaing mararamdaman ang ganito para sa babaing kay tagal na niyang minamahal. Posible pala ’yon.
Natatakot siyang masaktan niya ito sa sobrang galit, hindi lang sa salita kundi sa…
Shit!
Natabig niya ito kanina. Kahit kailan ay hindi niya ito nasaling para saktan nang pisikal. But she had brought out the worst in him. This woman was his extremes. His love. His hate. His highs and lows. His heaven. His hell. His fulfillment. His emptiness.
And now she was here to further torment him. He slapped the tiled wall with his palm as he rinsed his body with warm water.
Tangina naman, Kate! I don’t wanna see you. I don’t wanna talk. I don’t want you here! I just want to be fucking left alone!
But she was there, waiting for him. And he missed the hell out of her. And he hated himself for feeling so.
Pathetic!
MATAPOS sinupin ni Kate ang mga kalat sa kuwarto ni Lucky ay matiyaga siyang naghintay na matapos itong maligo.
He came out of the bathroom after fifteen minutes. He was now wearing a fresh pair of black track pants and a white shirt. His hair was still damp.
Matalim siyang tiningnan nito, pagkuwa’y luminga-linga, may hinahanap. “Where are my drinks?”
“Itinapon ko na.”
Muling nagdilim ang mukha nito. “Wala ka ng karapatang galawin ang anumang bagay dito.”
“Luck, mag-usap tayo, please?”
“I’m so tired, Kate. So fucking tired. Ano pa ba’ng pag-uusapan natin? Paikot-ikot lang tayo, wala namang magbabago.”
“Ako rin naman eh. Pagod na pagod na rin ako. Pero nagpunta ako rito para sana magkaliwanagan tayo, kahit bilang magkaibigan man lang.”
“Ano pa bang liwanag ang hanap mo? Nothing could be clearer to me now. Kuha ko naman ang lahat ng sinabi mo, hindi mo na kailangang ulit-ulitin. Ayaw mo sa akin. Kahit ano’ng gawin ko, ayaw mo sa akin.”
Umiling siya. “Hindi ko sinabi ’yan.”
Tumingin ito sa itaas, nagpakawala nang maiksi at sarkastikong tawa. “Spare me your female psychobabble. I’m done with it. Nakakapagod na.”
“Bakit ganyan ka na ngayon? Bakit hindi ka na nakikinig sa akin?”
Tumingin ito sa kanya. “We’re back to that again? I get it, okay? You don’t wanna get married. Space. Big space. Co-parenting. I’ll give you child support. Have your lawyer draw an agreement. Pipirmahan ko. We’ll talk about visitation rights once the baby is born. Hindi mo naman siguro ako pagdadamutan sa bagay na ’yan?”
Tumango-tango siya. “Okay…Thank you.”
“Maliwanag na ba? Pwede na ba akong mapag-isa ulit?”
“Luck, pakinggan mo naman ako, please…?”
He expelled a deep breath at saka ibinagsak nito ang sarili sa isang kalapit na armchair. “Okay, talk. This is the last time I will allow you to heap more bullshit on me, Kate. Bring it. You don’t get to waste my time anymore after this.”
Parang ibang tao na ang kaharap niya ngayon, sa kilos at pananalita. There was no trace of the man who used to gaze at her with tenderness and affection. His eyes were full of disgust now as he regarded her with detached hostility.
Nanghihina ang mga tuhod niya kaya muli siyang umupo sa paanan nito sa karpetadong sahig, tumingala rito.
“I’m so sorry, Luck. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Bullshit,” he scoffed.
“I’m sorry na inilihim ko sa ’yo na pregnant ako. I’m sorry if I’m not ready to get married right now.”
“Yeah. Sinabi mo na ’yan. Huwag kang parang sirang plaka. And what makes you think the offer still stands?”
Bumikig ang lalamunan niya. “Hindi na ba?”
Hindi ito sumagot. Namagitan ang saglit na katahimikan.
“Ang gusto ko sana ay unawain mo ako, Luck. Tingnan mo ako bilang kaibigan. Puwede ba ’yon”
He shook his head. “I haven’t looked at you as merely my friend for a long time now.”
“Oo nga pala. Matagal mo na pala akong minamahal. Pero bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin noon pa? Bago pa sana naihanda ang kasal namin ni Nico ay sinabi mo na sa akin. Or even before that. You had plenty of opportunities. We were always together. Why didn’t you?”
“Seriously? Tatanungin mo ako niyan ngayon?”
“Yes, seriously. Bakit hindi mo ipinagtapat sa akin na mahal mo ako noon pa? ’Yong pagmamahal na higit pa sa kaibigan?”
Umiling ito. “Kate, ano pa ang silbi na pag-usapan natin ’yan?”
“Malaki. Kasi galit na galit ka sa akin ngayon na hindi kita magawang mahalin agad katulad ng pagmamahal mo sa akin na sinabi mo sa akin noong nakaraang pag-uusap lamang natin. Sa harapan mismo ng pamilya ko.”
“We were fucking like rabbits the past months for christ’s sake! It was a given!” muling tumaas ang tinig nito.
“But you never said you loved me.”
“Are you for real? I showed you every single time! All these years! I would never let a woman lead me by the fucking nose if I didn’t love her! You thought I’d have sex with you and not take you seriously? Are you really so fucking dense, Kate?”
“Stop swearing. Baka marinig ka ng baby. Ayokong iyan ang una niyang marinig galing sa ’yo.”
“What..?” Tumingin ito sa tiyan niya saka nagmura ulit pero pabulong na.
“You never directly told me. I wasn’t sure. We were not dating like a normal couple. In fact, we never dated at all. We went straight to sex. Three months ago I was about to marry the man I was supposed to be in love with. Then he told me he was cheating on me on our wedding day and left me that same day. Then I had sex with my bestfriend on the night of my supposed honeymoon. I got pregnant by accident. I was a mess when Nico left me and an even bigger mess when you got me pregnant.”
“Then why did you continue having sex with me?”
“Because you wouldn’t leave me alone! That second time, it was you who initiated it as if you had something to prove!”
He sneered. “You wanted it as much as I did.”
“Yes, I did, too. And even if I was a mess, the one thing that made me feel great that time was having sex with you. I felt rejected and you made me feel wanted. I felt ugly and you made me feel beautiful. Pareho nating ginusto ’yon. We both enjoyed it. We were both consenting adults. Nagkasundo tayo sa isang arrangement. Bakit parang isinusumbat mo ’yon sa akin ngayon?”
“No…hindi naman…” His voice trailed off.
“The sex was so good that you were healing my heartbreak in the process. I was ready to move on, let the past go, give us a chance, but I found out about what you and my brother did…and I just went back to the pits, Luck. I felt destroyed all over again.”
“I already regretted that with all my heart, Kate. Ilang beses na akong humingi ng tawad sa ’yo.”
“I know. Pero hindi naman ako robot na basta switch on switch off na lang ang feelings ko. Napatawad naman na kita pero nahihirapan akong kalimutan ’yon. Ang sakit-sakit niyon, Luck. Nawala ang trust ko sa ’yo at lalong lumala ang trust issues ko. And I just wanted to heal properly. Kaya humingi ako ng space, ng panahong mapag-isa muna sana.”
“Sure. By dating Aris.”
“I was lonely. He’s always been nice to me. I’ve never dated anyone of my choice. Nico was my family’s choice first before mine. You? You were my best friend one moment and my lover the next. It was such an abrupt transition and I didn’t know what to do with it. I was still reeling and hurting from getting jilted by my fiance and there I was having sex with you. Biglang hindi ko na alam kung ano ka na sa buhay ko. Kung ano na tayo sa isa’t isa. Nabura na ang boundaries. Aris was a welcome change for me. Simple lang siya, hindi komplikado ang personalidad. He didn’t threaten or disturb me emotionally. Naranasan ko ring medyo maligawan. Masarap pala, ’yong makikipag-date ka lang nang walang expectations. I needed that for myself. You have been dating left and right since I’ve known you. Ako, bawal? Kahit friendly date lang? He was a perfect gentleman, too. Unlike you.”
Natigilan ito. “I was…I was not…?”
“No. Are you kidding me? As my friend you were above reproach. A perfect gentleman. But as my lover? You morphed into this dominant, aggressive alpha who would stop at nothing from getting what he wanted, and I didn’t stand a chance with you given my very limited experience with men and sex. Nico didn’t even attempt to put his tongue in my mouth, ever! While you… You used sex with me as a weapon.”
Namula ito. Pulang-pula. Hindi nito itinanggi ang bagay na ’yon.
“Not that I entirely blame you for that. I was the one who seduced you first. Still, I wish dumaan tayo sa tamang proseso. You know…iyong normal na phases ng nabubuong relasyon. Pero hindi nga nangyari ’yon.”
Lumarawan ang pagkabalisa sa mukha nito. He shifted in his seat restlessly.
“Itong baby natin, wala naman itong kinalaman sa gulo natin. Hindi ko naman ito ipagkakait sa ’yo, Luck. I know you will be a great father. I just didn’t know if you would be a great husband.”
Tumuwid ito sa pagkakaupo, medyo dumukwang na sa kanya. “What…what do you mean?”
“Kasi ngayon…sa nakikita kong behavior mo…natatakot ako sa ’yo.”
“What are you talking about? I have loved you for almost a decade!”
“See? Binibilangan mo na ako ng pagmamahal mo. Na parang kasalanan kong minahal mo ako all this time.”
“Hindi kita bini…” he sighed harshly and leaned back in his seat again.
“Hindi ko naman alam na matagal mo na pala akong minamahal. Hindi ko alam na matagal ka ng nagtitiis. Wala ka namang sinasabi sa akin noon? Kaya I’m sorry na hindi ko matugunan agad ang pagmamahal mo nang tulad ng inaasahan mo. But don’t I deserve some time to fully process it first? So, kapag sinabi mong mahal mo ako, dapat mahal din kita agad-agad? Ganyan ba ang pagmamahal mo?”
Muling gumuhit ang pait sa mga mata nito, hindi sumagot.
Muli niyang hinawakan ang paa nito, marahang dinama ang mga daliri nito. “I started loving you as my bestfriend. I didn’t know you in a passionate sense. You never even kissed me until three months ago. That kiss went straight to sex. How can you expect me to define what I feel for you just because we’ve been having sex? Bakit? Minahal mo ba ang lahat ng mga babaing naka-sex mo?”
Lumunok ito, umiling.
“I’d be honest with you. Hindi ko alam ang nararamdaman ko sa ’yo ngayon. Halo-halo na kasi. I have so many strong feelings for you, as my best friend, as my lover. Hindi ko sila ma-define, Luck. Most times they overwhelm me. They scare me. You overwhelm and scare me. It’s strange because you used to make me feel so secure. Now, you threaten everything in me. You confuse me, make me feel defensive, make me feel insecure and unsure about myself. And I don’t like these feelings.”
“I can certainly relate to that,” malumanay na tugon nito.
“Bakit hindi mo ako ipinaglaban noon pa sa mga parents ko? Kung mahal mo na ako noon pa, bakit hindi mo ako tinangkang agawin mula kay Nico?”
Muli itong natigilan sa tanong niya. “Because I thought you loved Nico.”
Malungkot siyang ngumiti. “No. That was just your excuse. Ang totoo, naduwag ka. Hindi mo nagawang banggain ang pamilya ko para ipaglaban ang pagmamahal mo sa akin. Hindi mo maatim na mawala ang tiwala ng mga magulang ko sa ’yo, ng buong pamilya ko. Importante sila sa ’yo. Umaksiyon ka lang kung kelan ikakasal na ako, kung kelan huli na.”
Titig na titig ito sa kanya, pero hindi itinatanggi ang mga sinasabi niya.
“But who knows kung noon mo pa ipinadama sa akin ang tunay na nararamdaman mo, baka sa iyo ako na-in love noon at hindi kay Nico. But you never told me then. You did nothing. Hinayaan mo akong mahulog nang husto kay Nico. And that’s why I will not discount what I felt for Nico because it was also real.”
Yumuko ito. Muling kumuyom ang mga palad nitong nakapatong sa ibabaw ng mga hita nito.
“Pero pagkatapos ng nangyari sa amin ni Nico, ayoko ng maulit ’yong mga pagkakamali namin. ’Yong hindi sigurado ang isa kung kaya nga ba niyang mag-commit sa marriage. Iyong nagbulag-bulagan ako sa nararamdaman kong pagbabago niya. Si Nico ay hindi nakapag-commit sa akin despite na engaged kami nang ilang taon. So many years of my life were wasted on the wrong man, Luck. Ayokong ako naman ang maging ganoon kasi sumubo ako sa isang bagay na hindi pa ako sigurado. Dahil buntis na ako, mapipilitan akong ihanda ang sarili ko bilang ina. Wala akong choice sa bagay na ’yan. Pero hindi pa ako handang maging asawa sa ngayon. Choice ko ’yan.”
Hinaplos niya ang tiyan. “Hindi naman siguro ako magiging masamang Mommy kung hindi ko pakasalan ang Daddy niya sa ngayon para lang maging legitimate siya? Hindi ka naman magiging masamang ama, ’di ba? You will not abandon our child kahit hindi tayo kasal, di ba?”
“No,” iling nito. “Of course, not.”
“Masama ba na hangarin kong magpakasal sa panahong pinili ko? Iyong hinog at hindi pinilit o minadali dahil kailangan? Gusto ko sanang magpakasal na masaya ako. ’Yong excited ako. ’Yong handang-handa ako. Iyong buo ako sa loob at sa labas. I do want to get married one day, but this time around, I want to choose the man I will marry not because he’d be bringing more wealth, power and influence into my family, or save me from embarrassment or for any other reason. I want to marry him because I’m ready to be his wife and I love him with everything in me.”
He nodded, the chill in his eyes melting.
“Pero ayaw mo akong bigyan ng pagkakataong maramdaman iyon. Gusto mong dumeretso na tayong magpakasal. You bulldozed your way into my life when you saw the chance, right in front of my parents. You treated it like a business negotiation between you and my father, like I wasn’t even there anymore. You proposed marriage to my Dad, not to me. Ni hindi mo man lang ako tinanong kung iyon ba ang gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko ngayon.”
“I…” Hindi nito maituloy ang sasabihin. “Go on.”
“Bilang kaibigan, napakamunawain mo, napaka-cool, napakapasensiyoso. Pero bilang lover, napaka-possessive mo, napakadominante. Halos hindi ako makahinga, Luck. Kung kay Nico noon ay wala akong sariling boses, sa iyo ay baka mapipi na ako nang tuluyan. Kasi kilalang kilala mo ako. Alam mo ang lahat ng mga kahinaan ko. Kayang-kaya mo akong lamunin nang buo.”
His eyes were intense, but there was no longer hatred in them. “I will never hurt you like that,” he said softly.
“But you already did. You are hurting me now with your anger and indifference. With your refusal to see me, really see me as an individual and not just a possession. By withdrawing your friendship when I needed it the most just because I didn’t agree to become your wife. With your disrespect of my personal wishes and decisions.”
“Kate…”
“I’m not perfect either. Far from it. Kung may mga pagkukulang ako sa ’yo bilang kaibigan, patawarin mo rin sana ko. Pero alam mo ang mga pinagdaanan ko and I’m still healing myself so that one day I can be whole again for the man I will spend the rest of my life with. Sana ganoon ka rin. Be the best version of yourself for the woman you will spend the rest of your life with. Maaaring hindi ako iyon. Maaaring hindi rin ikaw ang para sa akin. Pero kung tayo ang talagang para sa isa’t isa, bakit hindi natin paghandaan nang maayos ang future natin? Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and I have learned not to take it lightly.”
He expelled a ragged breath, his hands slowly unclenching.
She touched his ankle, squeezing gently.
“Iyan lang naman ang gusto kong sabihin, Luck. Ayokong lilipas na lang ang mga araw na hindi na tayo nag-uusap at lumalim nang husto ang sama ng loob natin sa isa’t isa. Iginagalang ko ang mga pinagsamahan natin. Napakaimportante mo sa akin. I will always, always cherish our friendship. I don’t wanna lose your friendship.”
His eyes were now soft as he gazed at her again. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but remained silent.
“Siyanga pala. Opening na ng new store ko tomorrow night. Sana pumunta ka. I’d really love for you to be there, kasi tayong dalawa naman ang nagplano niyon. Ikaw naman talaga ang business partner ko mula pa sa simula.”
Tumayo na siya.
“Saka, nagpa-check up ako kahapon. Okay naman daw ang baby natin. By the end of the month, magpapa-ultrasound na ako. I’ll text you kung may schedule na ako sa OB ko ng ultrasound. Baka gusto mong sumama. Pero kung busy ka, okay lang.”
Yumuko siya at kinuha ang kamay nito, dinala sa sinapupunan. “Please, huwag mong pababayaan ang sarili mo, ha? Kailangan ka ng baby natin.”
His eyes moistened, his fingers gently curving over the slight bump of her stomach.
She smiled at him wanly. “I’ll see you.”
Tahimik na nilisan niya ang penthouse nito. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang nararamdaman nito ngayon. Hindi na ito nagsasalita pa sa bandang huli. Ngunit ang mahalaga ay nasabi niya nang buong katapatan ang tunay niyang saloobin.
Kung mauunawaan siya nito, mabuti. Kung hindi….kapalaran na lang ang bahala sa kanila.
Life must go on for her. She had a baby to live for.
* * * * *
SORRY FOR THE FEW HOURS of DELAY. BLAME THE EFFING BINGO FOR THAT. NAG-FAMILY XMAS PARTY KASI KAMI nang GABI NG 26. Iyon lang ang date na kumpleto kaming pamilya. Kaya nagahol ako sa oras ng pagsusulat.
Sa mga nag-expect ng mga carino brutal na eksena sa chapter na ito, sorry to disappoint you. Mas minabuti kong mag-usap na lang sila. Mas may kapupuntahan pa ang relasyon nila:) Sa mga galit pa rin kay Kate, hindi naman pwedeng sundin niya lahat ng gusto ninyong mangyari. Hindi na siya si Kate kung ganoon. Ganyan ang mga tao, iba-iba ang diskarte sa buhay. Maaring di mo type ang behavior niya or decisions niya, pero siya ’yon at hindi ikaw. May mga naka-relate din naman sa kanya, so…
Let their story unfold na lang. :)
Thanks for reading!
VOTE ko ha.:)
32
NAGISING SI KATE sa tunog ng doorbell. Bumalikwas siya sa kama at nilingon ang alarm clock na nasa side table. Alas-otso na pala nang umaga. She was a morning person and was usually up at 6 AM, pero lately napakaantukin niya. Maaga siyang natutulog sa gabi at medyo late na kung gumising siya sa umaga.
Tiningnan niya sa security camera kung sino ang nasa labas. Ang Mommy niya.
Nagsuot siya ng roba at tinungo ang pinto, agad na binuksan iyon. “Mom! Hi!” Niyakap niya ito.
She had missed her so much. Ilang araw na ring hindi niya nakikita ang ina. Nag-uusap naman sila sa telepono araw-araw ngunit sanay siyang magkasama sila sa iisang bahay buong buhay niya. Nahihirapan siyang malayo rito, lalo at may alitan sila ng ama. Napapagitnaan ang Mommy niya. Iyon ang isang bagay na sobrang nagpapahirap sa loob niya, ang pagkasira ng relasyon nila ng Daddy niya na naging dahilan ng pag-aaway ng mga magulang. Balak niyang dalawin ulit ang ama, suyuin ito, humingi ng tawad dito nang paulit-ulit hanggang sa maglubag ang loob nito.
“Anak, miss na miss na kita.”
“I’ve missed you too, Mom. Halika po, kain tayo ng breakfast. Magluluto ako.”
“Oh, ikaw ang gumagawa ng breakfast mo? Wala kang maid?”
“Gusto ko ho muna ng complete privacy. Saka I enjoy buying my own groceries.”
“Hmm. That’s new. Tell me more about it.”
Pumunta sila sa kusina. She made coffee for them, at saka siya nagluto ng almusal. Fried bacon strips, sunny side ups, and toasted bread.
“Bakit ang aga niyo yata, Mom?”
Nagkibit-balikat ito. “Excited akong makita ka, eh. Dito muna ako matutulog nang ilang gabi, ha?”
“Ho? What about Dad? Baka magalit ’yon.”
“I left the house,” she said casually.
Natulala siya nang ilang saglit. “Ho?”
“I left your father. Bahala muna siya sa buhay niya. I’m so done with that grumpy old goat for now. I want peace of mind. Yes, that’s exactly what I need!”
Sa tanang buhay niya ay hindi niya nakaringgan nang magaspang na pananalita ang ina. She was always the epitome of grace and perfect manners. But now…wait, she left Dad?!
“Mom, what did you mean you left Dad?!”
“Yes, I left him and his bigass house. Doon ako nakatira sa Tita Sel mo nang ilang araw na. Hindi ko agad sinabi sa ’yo at sinabihan ko si DL na huwag munang sabihin sa ’yo. Ayokong mag-alala ka. Malamang na magi-guilty ka. Baka mapaano ang apo ko. But just to be clear, I did it not for you. I did it for myself.”
“But Mom…! Why?”
Her mother sighed wistfully. She looked so elegant sitting there in her Escada silk, midi dress, even so early in the morning. She was almost fifty, but she could pass as her older sister. Maalaga ito sa katawan, lalo na sa kutis.
“Since I married your father, I have devoted my life to him and our family. Naging masunurin akong asawa sa kanya. But now he’s losing it. He’s destroying our family with his uncompromising stand on the most antiquated patriarchal views. Noong ipinagkasundo ka niya kay Nico, hindi ako sang-ayon doon. Alam ko kung gaano kahirap ang arranged marriage. I should know dahil arranged marriage din kami ng Dad mo noon.”
Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. “Ho? Mom! But you’re so in love!”
“Oh, that happened after almost two years into our marriage, noong ipinanganak ko ang kuya mo. But before that, nagrerebelde ako nang ipagkasundo ako sa Daddy mo noong 16 lang din ako. Marami akong gustong gawin sa buhay ko noon. I wanted to be a journalist. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to build a career of my own. Of course, hindi natupad ’yon kasi ipinakasal na kami noong twenty-one na ako right after my college graduation. I didn’t even get to work. I hated him at first, but well, your father was so handsome and quite charming when he wanted to. So, nahulog na rin ang loob ko sa kanya. Thank God, or it would have been a perpetual nightmare for me.”
“Oh my God, I didn’t know… Talk about a bomb shell. Akala ko si Tita Sel ang rebelde sa inyo.”
“Rebelde lang ako sa loob ko. Ibang klase naman ang Tita Sel mo. Talagang nabuntis bago ikinasal, at ayaw pang magpakasal sa lagay na ’yon ha. Parang ikaw,” anito at natawa.
Ngumiwi siya. “Sorry.”
“Quit apologizing for standing up for your right, hija. Your father took after his own father and grandfather, matigas, dominante, hindi masyadong expressive sa affections niya. He has his ways of loving his children, I saw that. Alam kong mahal na mahal niya kayo, pero may mga pamamaraan siyang nakuha pa niya sa mga ninuno niya. Sobrang nagpapasalamat na lang ako na nagustuhan mo rin si Nico noon. Pero after what happened, I can’t believe your father would still impose his ways on you to this extreme. Hindi ko na mapapayagan ’yon. He needs to realize that there is more to life than his name, his businesses and his reputation. Nasusunog na ang bacon, hija,”
“Ay!” Agad niyang pinatay ang oven at inilipat ang medyo sunog na bacon sa isang plato.
“I’m so glad that you’re doing okay here on your own, anak. I was so worried.”
“I’m fine, Mom. Kumain muna tayo, then tell me more about what happened.”
Kumain sila. Nakapagtatakang mukhang ang sigla pa ng Mommy niya gayong nagkakagulo rin pala ito at ang asawa nito.
“Oh, this is so nice. Tayong dalawa lang. Maganda pala itong condo ni DL. Ang tagal ko ng hindi nakapunta rito. Nakalimutan ko na ang hitsura.”
“Mom, hindi mo dapat iniwan si Dad. Baka mapaano ’yon.”
“Hah! Hayaan mong makita niya ang diperensiya ng naroon ako at wala. He has to change his ways o masisira ang pamilya niya.”
“Balak ko pa namang makipag-usap ulit kay Dad.”
“Okay lang. Do that. Basta ako, dito muna ako sa ’yo. Okay lang ba, anak? Gusto kitang alagaan sa first trimester mo. Excited ako sa first apo ko. Ang Daddy mo, excited din ’yon, pero dahil wala sa lugar ang rason niya, manigas siya sa inggit. He’s going to be missing a lot.”
Naluha siya. “Oo naman, Thank you, Mom. But you really need to go back to Dad.”
“Hayaan mo muna ako, anak. I will enjoy my rare moments of me-time muna, and I choose to be with you. Is that all right?”
Niyakap niya ang ina. “Super. But I’m going to be busy today. Opening ng store ko mamayang gabi, remember?”
“Yes! Excited na nga ako, hija. I will help you sa preparations.”
“Great!”
LUCKY SLOWLY WALKED TOWARD THE STORE’S ENTRANCE. Interwoven pink and dark gray balloons flanked the double glass doors.
He paused and glanced inside the store through the glass walls. Guests filled the spacious interior. It was a warm Tuesday evening. Kate obviously chose the party to start at 8 PM so it wouldn’t be too busy at the High Street. It was already past 9 and the party was midway. The place was packed with familiar faces from their circle.
It had been almost three weeks since they last saw each other. A lot had happened since then, obviously. Natapos ang shop nito nang hindi niya nasubaybayan sa huling stages ng construction niyon. Hindi niya ito natulungan nitong mga nakaraang linggo.
His eyes scanned the crowd inside, looking for her. Natagpuan niya itong nakikipag-usap sa mga barkada nito. Pinagmasdan niya ito. She was wearing an emerald green dress that flowed down her body like liquid silk. Her beauty made his chest constrict in a bittersweet manner. His eyes were inexorably drawn to her middle, trying to discern her baby bump through her loose dress. Wala siyang maaninag. The clever cut perfectly concealed her condition in an understatedly sexy manner. Nobody would suspect she was pregnant.
Nag-aalangan siyang pumasok at makihalubilo kahit kilala niya halos ang mga naroon. Kalahati yata ng guest list ay puro mga DeLeste. It was his first time to attend a public event since the day he found out she was pregnant. He remained mostly at his penthouse, just taking business calls from there. He had general managers in all his hotels that he could contact anytime, so he was able to stay away for weeks without interrupting operation. Wala siyang ganang makiharap sa mga tao.
Kahit ngayon ay hindi yata niya maatim na makipag-small talk. Matapos siyang puntahan ni Kate kahapon at kausapin nang masinsinan, malaki ang nagbago sa kanyang pananaw sa sitwasyon nila. Nakapag-isip siya. Mas klaro na ang mga bagay sa kanya.
Napakasakit ng katotohanang sa ikatlong pagkakataon ay tumanggi pa rin itong magpakasal sa kanya, kahit na ipinagbubuntis na nito ang kanilang anak. Ngunit sa kabilang banda ay naiintindihan niya kung bakit. Masakit sa ego, mas masakit pa sa puso, pero naiintindihan niya.
Gusto nitong mamuhay nang walang sabit, nang walang pressure. Ibig sabihin ay wala siya sa buhay nito bilang lover nito. She wanted him to be merely his friend again. Maybe not even his bestfriend. Just his friend.
Ngayong alam na niyang buntis na ito ay parang imposible na iyon para sa kanya. After knowing her so intimately, how could he go back to being platonic with her? Impossible.
Nakita niyang tumingin ito sa cellphone nito, parang nagta-type. Nagulat pa siya nang tumunog ang cellphone niya. May message na dumating.
She was texting him.
Nasaan ka na? Narito ang mga friends mo.
Sinagot niya ito.
Nasa labas ako.
Nakita niyang lumingon ito, hinahanap siya. Nagtama ang kanilang mga mata. Umalis ito sa grupo nito at lumabas ng store, nilapitan siya.
“Hi,” nakangiting bati nito sa kanya.
“Hey.” Her sweet scent wafted toward him, and he inhaled her discreetly.
“Kanina ka pa diyan? Bakit hindi ka pumasok?”
Nagkibit-balikat siya. “I’m just dropping by. Hindi ako magtatagal.”
“Gano’n ba…?”
“For you.” Iniabot niya ang dalang bouquet of flowers dito.
Tinanggap nito iyon at inamoy. “Thank you. They’re beautiful.”
Nagtitigan sila. She looked awkward. He felt unsure how to approach her now after yesterday. If it had been another woman, he would have slammed the door shut to her face for good, her explanations be damned. Mataas ang pride niya. But then again, no woman had ever meant to him like Kate did. She was the exception to his rule.
“Uhm, what can you say?” anito patungkol sa facade ng store nito.
“Perfect. Kuhang-kuha ni Aris ang gusto mo. I’m very impressed.”
“Oo nga eh. Ang galing niya ’no?.”
Tumango siya. “Congratulations, Kate. You’re doing really great.”
“Thanks.”
Again, awkward silence.
“Uhm, nariyan sina Alexis at ang ibang friends mo, inimbita ni DL. Nakita kong magkakausap sila kanina. Halika, pasok tayo. May pagkain sa loob.”
Umiling siya, “Huwag na. I just dropped by to congratulate you.”
“Uhm…wala naman si Daddy eh.”
“Bakit?”
Nagkibit-balikat ito. “Masama yata ang pakiramdam. Halika, pasok ka, kahit sandali lang, please?”
“I really can’t, Kate. Paalis na ako.”
“Okay…Thanks for dropping by. I appreciate it. I’ll email you a financial report soon, regarding the construction.”
“You don’t need to do that now. I know you’re swamped with work. And I trust you, Kate.”
Ngumiti ito nang malamlam. “Thank you, Luck.”
“Will you be all right? Huwag ka masyadong nagpapagod.” His eyes lowered to her middle.
She touched her belly gently. “Hindi naman. Nag-iingat ako, promise.”
Tumango lang siya. “Okay, enjoy the evening. Bye.” Tumalikod na siya, naglakad palayo rito.
His insides were being torn apart as he walked away from her. He wanted to touch her so badly, hold her in his arms like he used to, but there seemed to be an invisible force stopping him now.
Huminto siya sa paglakad at tumingin sa malaking sculpture na itinayo sa gitna nang malapad na park sa pagitan ng mga shops.
It was strategically lit underneath and it was spectacular at night. A boulder was suspended a few meters from the ground by three metal posts curving inwards to support the weight of the boulder from the sides at exactly the same distance from each other. Water trickled from the top of the boulder, dropping down to the circular concrete base on the ground and draining into a hole at the center. The sound of the water was soothing as his eyes were fascinatedly drawn to the sculpture. He had seen it a few times from afar, but he was never interested to scrutinize it up close, until tonight.
“It’s called Specific Gravity.”
Nilingon niya ang nagsalita. DL was reading from a flat-surfaced rock on the ground. Hindi niya namalayang nakalapit na pala ito sa kanya. Tumabi ito sa kanya at nakinood sa daloy ng tubig.
“What do you think it means?” tanong nito.
“I don’t know. Gravity. The end of us all. Unless you have a solid support system, like those metal pillars.”
“Hmm, and if those pillars break?”
“Boom.”
Natahimik si DL.
“Kate is that boulder. She used to have three important men in her life. Her pillars. Two recently broke. There’s only one remaining. Me.”
Nilingon niya ito.
“She had left the house. Dad basically disowned her.”
Na-shock siya. “What…?”
Tumango-tango ito, matiim na nakatingin sa bato. “That’s my sis, a rock. Honestly, I didn’t think she had it in her… to try to defy gravity. Go against our father. But what do I know? I’m a big chauvinist pig who had always underestimated her.”
Siya naman ang natahimik. Hindi niya inaasahan ito. Na itatakwil ng ama nito si Kate at maninindigan ito. God…that woman!
“You didn’t know?”
Umiling siya. “She didn’t tell me. Saan siya nakatira ngayon?”
“In my unit at the Raffles.”
“Kelan pa?”
“Maybe two weeks now.”
“Hindi ko alam.”
“Here’s the kicker. “Mom left Dad, too.”
“What?!”
“Yeap. Mom apparently gave Dad an ultimatum to make Kate come home and set things right with her. He refused. So, Mom left him. She’s staying with Tita Sel now. Until Kate is back home, she won’t return home daw. Maaaan, I didn’t know Mom had it in her, too. Tsk, poor old Dad. It’s just me and him now in the house. And I have to leave for Germany soon.”
“Fuck,” mahinang nausal niya.
“You can say that again.”
Nilingon ni DL ang store ni Kate. “She thinks she can defy gravity. But it’s against nature. She’s trying to be strong, holding on, but sooner or later, she’d crash. I can only support her so much. She needs those other two pillars, Luck.”
Umiling siya. “You’re underestimating her again. She can definitely live without me.”
“No. She thinks she can, but she actually can’t. Great work,” anitong sinaluduhan ang sculpture. Tinapik siya nito sa balikat at lumakad na palayo.
Naiwan siyang napapaisip nang malalim.
Suddenly, he knew what he must do.
Dinukot niya ang kanyang cellphone mula sa inner pocket ng kanyang suit jacket at tinawagan ang isang numero.
Then he walked out of there with a purpose.
NAGHINTAY SI LUCKY SA VERANDA ng mansiyon, nakatingin sa kalmanteng tubig ng swimming pool.
Maya-maya pa ay lumabas na si Don Antonio mula sa bahay at lumapit sa kanya.
“Sir. I’m sorry to disturb you at such a late hour.”
Seryoso ang mukha ng don. Pumunta ito sa bar. Laking pasalamat niya na hindi ito naging bayolente pagkakita sa kanya. “Scotch?” alok nito.
Tumango siya. Nagsalin ito ng Scotch whiskey sa dalawang baso, iniabot ang isa sa kanya.
Tinanggap niya iyon, pero nag-alangang inumin.
“Are you driving?”
“No, sir. I came with my driver.”
“Then drink up. You need it.”
Tinungga niya ang kalahating laman ng baso saka inilapag iyon sa isang wrought iron table. Muli niyang tiningnan ang ama ni Kate. Tahimik itong sumisimsim ng alak, matiim na nakatitig sa kanya.
He had known this man for almost a decade.
Ang una nilang pagkikita ay memorable. Nagliliparan ang mga bala sa paligid nila, nakikipagbarilan siya sa mga rebeldeng kumidnap dito. Buto’t balat na ito dahil sa halos ilang buwang pagkaka-hostage ng mga rebelde sa bundok na iyon. Ngunit nang magtama ang kanilang mga mata, nakita niya agad ang tiwala nito sa kanya. Lahat ng sinabi niya rito habang patakas sila ay sinunod nito. Tumakbo-lakad sila nang ilang oras, sumuot sa masukal na kagubatan, paakyat-pababa sa mga gulod.
Nang makarating sila sa ligtas na lugar ay umiyak ito sa kanyang bisig sa pasasalamat. Inihatid niya ito sa tahanan nito at doon niya nakilala ang buong angkan nito na naghihintay sa pagdating nito. Lahat ay nag-iyakan nang makita ito. Ang maybahay nito, ang mga anak nito, ang lahat ng mga kaanak nito. Lahat ay taos-puso ang pasasalamat sa kanya.
Nang mismong araw na iyon ay naging parte siya ng mga DeLeste. Naging pangalawang anak na lalaki siya ni Don Antonio. Dahil mas matanda siya kay DL nang ilang taon, siya ang nagmistulang panganay nito.
Hindi siya parte ng alta-sosyedad ng Pilipinas kahit bilyonaryo ang kanyang ama sa Amerika. Ngunit nang “ampunin” siya ni Don Antonio, the most elite doors in the upper one percent of the country opened for him, as well. It was easy for him to expand his own business here in the Philippines when he decided to take over the reins from his mother. Mas lalo pang namayagpag ang mga negosyo niya.
He respected Don Antonio immensely. Not only as his second father, but as a colleague in business, his mentor. So, he was more like his Godfather. Don Antonio sat in the inner sanctum of the most influential businessmen in the country and in Asia. The man gave him a seat in this inner sanctum, too, beside him. A seat of power.
He was afraid of him. Yes. He was afraid of disappointing him. Of Losing his trust. His love.
But it was time to stand up for something that he should have done a long time ago.
“Sir, narito po ako upang muling humingi ng tawad sa inyo. Nagsisisi ako na nawala ang tiwala ninyo sa akin. Napakaimportante po ng tiwalang ibinigay ninyo sa akin at iningatan ko po ’yon nang napakatagal na panahon. Isang bagay lang po ang puwedeng gumiba ng paninindigan ko sa bagay na iyon. Ang pagmamahal ko kay Kate.”
Tahimik lang si Don Antonio, sumisimsim ng inumin nito. He reckoned he wanted him to continue talking and he was grateful that he was allowing him to.
“I have loved Kate the moment I laid eyes on her, but she was so young then. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help it. Sinarili ko po iyon dahil alam kong wala akong karapatan. Naipangako na ninyo siya kay Nico na anak ng matalik ninyong kaibigan. Nirespeto ko po iyon, Sir, kahit ang sakit-sakit sa loob ko. Na hanggang tingin na lang ako sa sanak ninyo. Na hanggang kaibigan na lang ang pwede naming maging relasyon. Napakahirap pero tinanggap ko po iyon. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, hindi man siya magiging akin balang araw, makakasama ko pa naman siya nang matagal hangga’t hindi pa sila kasal ni Nico.”
He thought he’d have difficulty talking to Kate’s father given their last encounter, but he was wrong. Nakikinig ito sa kanya. His eyes were hard and inscrutable, but he was paying attention.
“So, I became her bestfriend instead. Pilit kong kinuntento ang sarili ko sa ganoon lang. Naintindihan ko ang kasunduan ninyo ni Don Jaime. Ang pagkakaibigan ninyo. Kahit noong na-realize kong hindi mahal ni Nico si Kate na katulad ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya, nilunok ko ang sakit niyon dahil ayokong maging dahilan iyon ng pagkasira ng pagkakaibigan ninyo ni Don Jaime. But I was hurting for Kate, Sir. I hated it that I couldn’t tell her the truth, that I couldn’t do anything. You must have known about it.”
“Hmm.” Iyon lang sinabi nito at inubos ang laman ng baso nito. Nagsalin ulit.
“Men have such double standards when it comes to fidelity. They expect their women to be faithful to them, but they have no qualms about being unfaithful. I am guilty of this double standard. I should have punched Nico in the face a long time ago for cheating on my beloved. I should have threatened to kill him then, force him to man up. But I didn’t. I just watched in silent rage, and in so doing became complicit to it all. And I’m so ashamed of myself for that. No wonder na hindi niya ako magawang mahalin. Hindi ako karapat-dapat na mahalin, lalo na maging asawa niya. I love her with all my heart, have been loving her for years, but I didn’t have the balls to fight for her. I didn’t have the courage to stand up to you and fight for my love for her. Dahil sobra ko kayong iginalang, Sir. Itinuturing ko po kayong ama ko.”
“At ngayon…?” maikling tanong nito sa malayelong tinig.
Huminga siya nang malalim. “Ngayon ay tapos na po ang kaduwagan ko. I’m standing up for her. She doesn’t deserve to be punished for our mistakes. Siya ang sobrang inagrabyado natin. Ng mga maling paniniwala natin. May karapatan siyang mamili kung sino ang lalaking dapat niyang mahalin nang hindi matatakot na mawalan ng pamilya. May karapatan siyang magpasiya kung ano ang gusto niya para sa buhay niya.”
“How dare you speak to me like I was throwing her to the wolves! She is my only daughter. I love her,” he rasped, his eyes smoldering with emotion now.
“We both love her in different ways, pero may kondisyon ang pagmamahal natin sa kanya. Hindi na siya masaya sa pagmamahal natin. Pinapatay siya ng paraan ng pagmamahal natin. We both refused to give her our unconditional love when she needed it the most. I’m sorry to say this, Sir, but right now, we are both not worthy of her. No wonder na iniwan niya tayo pareho.”
Yumuko ito, lumaylay ang mga balikat.
“I want nothing more than to marry her, give her my name, take care of her for the rest of my life. But she’s not ready, and with good reason. Kailangan kong magbago. Kailangan kong maging mas mabuting tao para sa kanya, para sa magiging anak namin. I will wait for her when she’s ready to take me into her life as her man, as her husband. I need to deserve her. Alam kong magagalit kayo sa akin na hindi ko siya mapakasalan sa ngayon, ngunit igagalang ko ang kagustuhan ni Kate. Naiintindihan ko rin ang nakataya sa into. Ang reputasyon ninyo. Ngunit aanhin po natin ang reputasyon kung wala sa piling natin ang mga mahal natin sa buhay? Para ano po ba at nabubuhay tayo sa mundong ito?”
Tinalikuran siya ng don.
“Mahal ko po kayo, Sir. All these years ay mas inuna ko ang pagmamahal ko sa inyo, sa pamilya ninyo. Ngunit ngayon ay uunahin ko naman ang pagmamahal ko kay Kate, ang pagmamahal ko sa sarili ko.”
Naghintay siya sa sasabihin nito, ngunit nanatiling tahimik lang si Don Antonio. Pagkuwa’y lumakad ito pababa sa hagdan ng veranda.
“Makaaalis ka na,” malamig na sabi nito. Tumayo ito sa gilid ng swimming pool.
“Maraming salamat po sa pakikinig.”
Hindi na ito umimik pa, at parang napakalalim na ng iniisip nito. Hindi niya alam kung galit pa rin ito sa kanya.
Nilisan na niya ang mansiyon.
BUMALIK SI LUCKY SA BGC. Nagkakatuwaan pa rin ang mga guests ni Kate. Nagsasayawan na ang iba. He saw her throw her head back and laugh at something Aris said. She was enjoying herself, he could tell.
Hindi pa rin niya mapigilang magselos na masaya ito sa company ni Aris. Ngunit sinikil niya ang makasariling damdamin. This was her night. She was celebrating her accomplishment with her family and friends. Something she had achieved almost without his help.
He was so proud of her. Well done, angel.
Tumalikod na siya at tinawagan ang kanyang driver.
He would let her enjoy this night on her own. She deserved it. There would be other days to make up.
To rebuild their friendship.
Tomorrow would be a brand new day for them both.
PLEASE, VOTE:) XOXO
33
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WEEKS, Lucky woke up not wanting to go back to sleep immediately and just let the world fade away into oblivion all over again.
Bumalikwas siya sa kama at nagtungo sa malawak na balcony ng kanyang penthouse, ninamnam ang sikat ng araw sa umaga at ang mabining simoy ng hangin.
Napangiti siya.
He hit the gym like a gladiator gearing up for a battle. Thirty minutes on the treadmill and another thirty pumping iron got his adrenaline running like a high-octane engine.
He couldn’t wait to get back into the action. There was so much to attend to, things to do, both in his businesses and personal life.
He was done feeling like a fucking loser.
He left the gym and hit the shower. Then he called the hotel’s chef to deliver a hearty breakfast for him. He hadn’t eaten much the past weeks. Wala siyang gana. Namayat siya, but he wanted to regain what pounds he had lost fast.
Nagbihis siya. He donned a suit. Tiningnan niya ang sarili sa floor-length mirror. He still looked like hell, a result of a two-week solitary alcoholic bender. Nahiya siya sa sarili sa inasal. Magiging ama na siya pero halos sunugin niya ang atay niya sa kaiinom. Bakit? Dahil depressed siya na ayaw magpakasal sa kanya ang ina ng magiging anak niya?
Natauhan siya sa mga sinabi ni Kate. He was acting like a total loser. Parang siyang gagong nagpakalango sa alak at nagmukmok dito sa penthouse niya. Walang mangyayari sa kanya pag ganoon siya. Wala pa siyang inurungang laban sa tanang buhay niya. Whenever he wanted something, he went after it with great passion and determination.
He and the mother of his child had one hell of a new journey to make. Napakarami na nilang pinagsamahan, ngayon pa ba siya bibitaw? He had learned a lot from everything that happened between them.
Yes, she was right. They needed to take it slow. Give each other space. To grow separately. They had been so close, and yet he realized now, their individual growth had been stunted by codependency. Lalo na siya. Umiikot na lang kay Kate ang mundo niya. He was a player, but when it came to Kate, he was so sickeningly needy and insecure.
He had to curtail this great fear inside of him of losing her to some other man. He had to stop giving her any reason to choose another man. Instead, he had to show her in a non-intrusive manner why he was the perfect man for her.
His food arrived. Magana siyang kumain at saka pumasok sa trabaho.
Bumaba siya sa opisina niya sa tenth floor ng Hotel de Angelo at nagpatawag ng meeting. Natapos iyon sa loob ng dalawang oras.
Pupunta naman siya sa Subic para bisitahin ang ginagawang construction ng hotel expansion niya roon. Nagre-report naman ang project manager ng hotel sa kanya at maging ang arkitektong nakakontrata, ngunit nawala talaga siya sa tamang pag-iisip nitong nakaraang mga linggo at hinayaan na lang ang mga ito sa ginagawa.
He also took care of his social life. Tinawagan niya si Jonty habang hinihintay ang chopper na susundo sa kanya sa helipad ng hotel.
“Luck! Pare, kumusta na? Sa wakas, tumawag ka rin. Worried na kami sa ’yo ah!” masayang bungad ni Jonty sa kanya sa kabilang linya.
“I’m good, pare. Nagpalamig lang.”
“O ano, maglalaro ka ba this Sunday? Dehado na ang team natin. Ang yabang na ni X. Ang lakas pa makapang-asar. Pikon na pikon na ako. Wala naman akong magawa. Naglaro na ulit si Nico sa team nila last Sunday, pero ikaw naman ang nawala sa team natin kaya natalo tayo. Pilay ang team pag wala ka, pare.”
Napatiim-bagang siya. Kapag nababanggit ang pangalan ni Nico ay hindi niya maiwasang uminit ang dugo niya. “Yeah, I’ll play this weekend. Babawi tayo.”
“Yes! Ayos ’yan, pare! Matutuwa ang team! Praktis tayo sa Saturday, ha? Same time.”
“Okay.”
Lumipad siya papuntang Subic lulan ng SU chopper. Si Jado ang piloto niya ngayon, isa sa mga agents ng SU. Hindi kasi available si Jett.
“Glad you’re back in the saddle, Boss.”
“Kumusta sa HQ?”
“All good. You just missed some exciting games. Sobrang init na ang laban,” anito patungkol sa once-a-week na laro ng basketball sa SU Headquarters. Tatlong teams ang naglalaban-laban ng round-robin para sa taunan nilang palaro. Malaki ang pa-premyo niya para sa mga champions, limang milyon na paghahati-hatian ng mananalong team, kaya ganadong maglaro ang lahat ng mga agents.
“Anong assignment mo ngayon?” tanong niya rito.
“Inilagay ako ni Jett sa Santillan case. Busted na kasi ang cover ni Bravo.”
“Hmm.” Tumango lang siya. He needed to read up on a lot of reports on the SU ongoing contracts, as well as the new ones Jett had closed while he was out of reach. Ini-email naman sa kanya ni Jett ang lahat ng mga detalye ngunit hindi niya na-check ang emails niya nang ilang linggo na.
Ilang linggo lang siyang nawala sa eksena, natambakan na agad siya ng trabaho. Kapag ganito, hindi siya magkakapanahon para sa baby nila ni Kate. He needed to slow down. Kailangan niyang mag-promote ng COO para mabawasan ang trabaho niya. Constant travelling ate up most of his time.
He sighed. Things had to change soon. Magiging ama na siya. Dapat ay ibahin na niya ang lifestyle niya.
Gusto niyang masubaybayan ang paglaki ng tiyan ni Kate hanggang sa makapanganak ito. He didn’t want to miss out on any of that. First time niyang maging ama. He would experience it to the fullest. Kung ayaw pa ni Kate na makipagrelasyon sa kanya ngayon, then he would focus on their baby. Iyon na lang muna ang mas importante sa kanya.
Liar. You miss her so fucking bad. You want to see her as often as you like. Be with her–
He sighed, curtailing the direction of his thoughts. She was willing to share the baby with him, and that was more than he could ask for under the circumstances. Not anything else.
Napangiti siya nang maalala ang sinabi nitong magpapa-ultra sound daw ito by the end of the month. That, he could never miss. He had to be there with her.
He may have failed in other things, but he vowed not to fail as a father.
SA BGC store niya pumasok si Kate nang araw na iyon. Dinagsa ng mga customers ang store ngayong araw dahil sa opening day sale nila. Hindi pa nangangalahati ang araw ay paubos na ang stocks nila. Aina had to call their suppliers to replenish their stocks ASAP.
Nakakatuwa. Hinaplos niya ang tiyan. Swerte yata sa negosyo ang baby niya.
Baby nila ni Lucky.
She smiled as she thought of him. She was so happy when he dropped by yesterday. Akala niya ay hindi na ito darating, but he did and she was so relieved. He didn’t say much, but the fact that he showed up was an indication that he understood her.
He looked so handsome last night kahit namayat ito, and she wanted to feed him with delicious meals para bumalik agad ang tamang timbang nito. It had been a while since she’d cooked for him.
The past weeks had been an emotional roller-coaster for her, at ngayon lang siya parang nakakahinga sa pressure. Napakarami niyang takot na hinarap nang nagdaang linggo pero heto siya, nakatayo pa rin naman. Nakaka-survive. Nakakaramdam na ulit ng saya kahit papaano. Nakakatawa na ulit siya nang totoo.
One step at a time. One day at a time.
Dinampot niya ang kanyang cellphone at nag-text kay Lucky.
“Hi. Products are selling like hotcakes today. Have to restock.”
Agad naman itong sumagot.
“Great. Very happy for you.”
“You eat like a horse today, okay? Namayat ka.”
“Yes, ma’am. How’s the kiddo today?”
“Didn’t make me sick this morning, so all’s well.”
“Can’t wait to meet her.”
“Her? How do you know it’s a girl?”
“I can feel it.”
Ngumiti siya. “Ok. Hold that thought for the whole day, Daddy.”
“I will, Mommy.”
Lumapad ang ngiti niya.
“You take care, angel.”
“I will. You, too.”
Nagpalitan sila ng mga text messages buong araw. Light banters lang. Mostly tungkol sa baby nila. Mas magandang topic pala ang baby nila kaysa ibang bagay. Nakakagaan ng loob. Nakaka-inspire.
Not once did he bring up anything about them. But he was solicitous of her health and the baby’s. Gusto raw nitong sumama pag nagpa-ultrasound siya.
That was something they were now both looking forward to.
PINATAKBO NI LUCKY si Bad Luck sa field saka yumukod at hinampas ang bola sa damuhan. Lumipad iyon at pumasok sa goal.
Nagpapa-praktis siya sa Polo Club para sa laban ngayong Linggo. Nanonood sina Jonty, Russel at Dylan sa kanya sa may di-kalayuan, nakasakay rin sa mga kabayo ng mga ito.
“Nice shot, Luck! Woohoo!” Jonty shouted, a huge grin on his face.
He trotted his horse toward them. Tuwang-tuwang naki-fist bump ang mga ito sa kanya.
“Ayos, kumpleto na ulit ang tropa!” si Russel.
“Kailangang bumawi tayo bukas para maka-final match tayo next next Sunday,” si Jonty.
“Yup, we gotta get that cup. It’s ours, dammit!” pagsang-ayon ni Dylan.
“Let’s go. Gutom na ako,” si Russel.
They walked their horses back to the shed where their respective grooms took the reins. Sabay silang pumasok sa clubhouse, tuloy-tuloy sa locker room. Kinuha niya ang cellphone mula sa kanyang sports bag.
Napangiti siya nang makitang may message si Kate.
“I’m craving for something I can’t name. Nakakaasar. Lihi mode.”
Tatlong araw na silang nagpapalitan ng text messages buong araw. Chill lang sila pareho, at naramdaman niyang okay pala ’yon. Busy sila sa mga trabaho nila pero nagkakapanahon silang mag-text sa isa’t isa. It felt like they were going back to the time before they became sexually intimate. Noong magkaibigan lang sila.
Nakakatuwa pala. Nakakagaan ng loob. Puwede pa pala siyang bumalik sa ganoon.
He thought of texting her back something naughty, but he stopped himself. Nope. Kahit nagkaka-blue balls na siya sa sobrang pananabik dito na hindi natitighaw, hindi niya sisirain ang muling pagkakabuo ng friendship nila.
So, he texted her something safe, something wholesome. “Kumain ka na ba?”
“Maaga pa. Not hungry, just craving lang talaga.”
Her words were making him hard. He knew it was innocent on her part. She wasn’t sending him double entendres. It wasn’t her style.
“Huwag kang magpapagutom. You’re eating for two now.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
Damn, this Daddy thing was making his imagination run wild.
He missed her so damned much.
What if he dropped by her office out of the blue? Hindi naman niya ito iistorbohin nang matagal. Gusto lang niya itong makita kahit sandali. Maybe she’d even agree to have dinner with him.
Smiling, he went to take a shower.
SUMILIP SI AINA sa may pinto ng opisina niya sa BGC store.
“Kate, may bisita ka.”
Natigilan siya, wala naman siyang ini-expect na bisita ngayong Sabado. Magsi-six na nang gabi kaya konti na lang ang mga tao sa store. Nagsipag-dinner na marahil sa mall. Balak niyang kumain na sana pero heto at may bisita siya.
“Okay, Ains, papasukin mo.”
Aina disappeared from the door.
Maya-maya’y pumasok ang bisita niya.
Naparalisa siya sa kinauupuan.
Nico just stepped into her office.
Natulala siyang nakatingin dito.
“I’m sorry for coming here without calling you first. I didn’t think you’d like to see me. But… Pwede ba tayong mag-usap, Kate? Kahit sandali lang?” Mapagkumbaba at may pagsusumamo ang tinig nito.
Hindi pa rin siya makahuma. Hindi siya makapaniwalang naritong muli ito ngayon sa harapan niya. Ilang beses na ba niyang na-imagine ang muli nilang pagkikita? Ang pagtutuos nila? In her mind, she had conjured the things she would do if she saw him again. She imagined she’d beat the crap out of him. Hurt him as much as he had hurt her. Humiliate him to within an inch of his lying, cheating miserable life. But her brother beat her to it. It was DL who beat Nico to a bloody pulp, denying her that opportunity.
Now she had another chance. But to her surprise, the strong emotions were not there to fire her up. The hate was there in her heart somewhere, but she couldn’t summon the violence that would propel it outward.
Bakit ganoon? Maybe because Nico looked like a shadow of his old self? He had lost a lot of weight, looking even worse than Lucky. His eyes had a deep sadness in them, and he looked paler than a vampire. His hair which used to be cut short and neat was now overgrown.
“Please, Kate…?” Pumiyok ang boses nito. The remorse and torment in his eyes made him seem emotionally fragile, a far cry from the man she used to look up to since she was a teenager.
The Nico Sanvictores she knew was commanding, powerful and solid. This man who came to see her tonight looked like the weight of the entire universe was on his shoulders and that he was barely holding on and holding up. Beating him to a pulp would be like a mercy killing.
She found herself standing and walking toward the seating area of her office. Naupo siya sa isang armchair. “Maupo ka,” she said, gesturing to the sofa opposite her.
He slowly walked over and sat down. Ipinatong nito ang mga siko sa mga hita nito at yumuko, laylay ang mga balikat. He clasped his hands together, gripping them tightly.
Namagitan ang katahimikan. It was a silence filled with so many unspoken words between them. But strange that she couldn’t think of anything to say to him now. Why was that? She didn’t know. But looking at the man in front of her made the hate inside her seem insignificant now.
Nico looked broken.
“Kate…I want to ask your forgiveness again, but I know no amount of apology can erase the pain I had caused you. Nevertheless, I just want you to know why I did it. I want you to know that leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life. Hindi mo man ako mapatawad, gusto kong malaman mo ang mga nangyari sa akin, because you deserve the truth. Kahit wala ng saysay ang lahat”
Suddenly, she didn’t care anymore about his reasons. But God, why not? Hadn’t she wished so many times that he’d come crawling and ask for her forgiveness like a guilty criminal? And then she would fling his damned apologies back to his face, because she would never forgive him. Never!
But she remained silent and waited for him to continue his revelation. Nakatingin ito sa kanya nang buong sinseridad, nang buong paggalang.
“Ipinagkasundo man tayo noon, pero ikaw ang babaeng pinili kong maging wife ko, Kate. Sa maniwala ka at hindi, wala akong babaing gustong pakasalan balang araw noon kundi ikaw. Ang swerte-swerte ko nga na nagustuhan mo rin ako. May makakahigit pa ba sa ’yo? You are perfect. A prize for any deserving man. But a few months before you set our wedding date, I met her….”
Tumulo ang mga luha nito. “Hindi ko sinasadya, Kate. Dumating na lang siyang bigla sa buhay ko at hindi ako nakapaghanda. I fought my feelings for her, but it was too powerful. I have loved you for so long, in my own way, but what I felt for Laila was nothing I’ve felt before.”
She should slap him hard in the face for daring to speak about that woman again in front of her, but all she could think about now was Lucky. As he looked at the man she used to love, all she could see was Lucky’s ravaged face when she went to see him at his penthouse a few days ago, at the look in his eyes everytime she rejected his marriage proposal. The pain he must have felt she could feel now, as though something inside her had been anesthetized and now the numbing had worn off.
Her emotions rose and she couldn’t control them. Nanikip nang husto ang kanyang dibdib, bumikig ang kanyang lalamunan.
“Kung kaya ko lang, Kate. Kung kaya ko lang, I would have left her for you. I would have forgotten her for you. Pero hindi ko kaya…I loved her so much…Pero nagbabayad na ako sa kasalanang nagawa ko sa ’yo. You see, she left me, too. She left me.”
Yumugyog ang mga balikat nito at humagulgol.
Strangely ay nakaka-empathize siya sa sakit na nararamdaman nito. Naramdaman niya iyon noon noong iwan siya nito, but she couldn’t feel the searing pain in her heart anymore. Naroon pa rin ang alaala ng sakit pero wala ng sakit. This realization staggered her. Where did her hatred go?
“Nic…”
Dumausdos si Nico sa sahig, lumuhod sa paanan niya. “Kate, alam kong imposible na, but God… will you please… please forgive me? Please, don’t hate me too much. Please forgive me…please…” garalgal ang tinig nito, hirap sa pagsasalita.
Hindi niya mapigilang tumulo ang mga luha. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Nico was crying in front of her. The mighty Nico Sanvictores was totally defenseless at her feet. She could deliver the killer blow and he would willingly take it.
Biglang natunaw ang lahat ng natitirang sama ng loob niya nang mga sandaling iyon. Wala na siyang makapang galit sa kanyang dibdib. Gusto na lamang niyang makita si Lucky.
Oh God, Luck…
Ginagap ni Nico ang mga kamay niya. His grip was desperate. He needed absolution. It was all in his eyes.
“Kate, please…”
And she found herself uttering the words. She never thought it would be so easy. But it was.
“I forgive you, Nic. I forgive you,” buong sinseridad niyang usal habang hilam sa luha ang kanyang mga mata.
Niyakap niya si Nico. It was like a healing embrace. She knew she was finally over him.
At kasabay ng pagpapatawad niya ay ang isang reyalisasyon. Her doubts and fears melted away like ice in summer. Everything was clear to her now.
She had to find Lucky.
And as though she had conjured him up with a magic wand, he was there at the door.
Nagtama ang kanilang mga paningin.
What she saw in his eyes terrified her.
He was out of her sight in a blink.
Napabitiw siya kay Nico. “Oh God, Oh God, Lucky!” sigaw niya at tumayo, hinabol ito.
Mabilis ang mga hakbang nito. Malapit na ito sa entrada ng boutique. Tumatakbong sinundan niya ito.
“Luck! Wait! Luck!” sigaw niya rito, wala ng pakialam na nasa publiko sila. Wala na siyang ibang nakikita sa paligid niya. Ang desperasyong nararamdamn niya nang mga sandaling iyon ay walang katulad.
“Luck, please!”
Huminto ito. Inabutan niya ito, hinawakan sa braso.
“Don’t touch me,” he said softly.
“Luck,I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”
“Ayaw kitang masaktan, Kate. Please, let go.”
Hindi niya ito binitawan.
Iwinaksi nito ang kamay niya. Napilitan siyang bumitaw dito.
“Luck…” humagulgol na siya. Halos hindi niya matagalang tumingin sa mga mata nito.
“I have spent most of life loving you. Para akong gago at santambak na tanga sa kapapantasya sa ’yo samantalang hindi mo ako pinapansin. Hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang ipinakain mo sa akin at baliw na baliw ako sa ’yo eh. I have fucked my way all over town pero pagdating sa ’yo, ang tanga-tanga ko.”
His voice was soft, but they were like lightning and thunder in a mighty storm, shaking her universe.
“Lucky, please, magpapaliwanag ako…”
“No, it’s your turn to listen to me, Kate. Alam mo ba kung gaano kasakit dito?” he banged his chest. “Trinato kang parang basahan ng tang-inang ’yon samantalang ni ayaw kitang madapuan ng langaw. Nilunok ko ang lahat ng galit at selos ko sa kanya dahil gusto kong lumigaya ka. I was even gonna give you away to him on your wedding day.”
Halos hindi siya makahinga sa sakit na nararamdaman. Parang mga sibat na tumama sa kanya ang lahat ng mga sinabi nito. Ramdam na ramdam niya ngayon ang sakit na nararamdaman nito. Para syang mamamatay sa isiping winalang-bahala niya ang lahat ng iyon noon. Na hindi niya maramdaman ang mga iyon noon. Ngunit ngayon ay damang-dama na niya. Hindi niya alam kung bakit ganoon ang pakiramdam niya.
“Luck, I’m sorry. Please, forgive me…” she sobbed.
Umiling-iling ito. “Akala ko kaya kong unawain ka. Akala ko kaya kong maging bestfriend mo ulit. Hindi pala. Hindi pala ako kasing-tapang at kasing-tatag ng inaakala ko. Ang tigas mo sa akin, Kate. Para kang bato sa akin. Hirap na hirap kang patawarin ako. Pero sa kanya, ang lambot mo. Ang dali mo siyang napatawad. Bakit gano’n, Kate? Hindi ko maintindihan.”
His eyes burned with unshed tears now. Hindi rin niya alam ang sagot sa tanong nito. Hindi niya alam paano ang gagawing pagpapaliwanag dito kaya niyakap na lamang niya ito. But he forcibly removed her arms from around him and stepped away from her.
“I won’t be your fool anymore. You have denied and hurt me for the last time. Ubos na ako. He treated you like shit, and you still love him?” Itinaas nito ang mga kamay na parang talunan. “I give up, Kate. I give up.”
Walang lingon-likod siyang iniwan nito.
She felt like her life force was draining away from her body as she watched him walk away. But she didn’t have the courage or the strength to run after him. His last words hit her hard and she felt like dying, not in heartbreak, embarrassment and rejection like she had felt when Nico left her, but in abject regret. Soul-destroying regret.
Para siyang mauupos na kandila sa sahig. Mabubuwal siya. Naramdaman niyang may umakbay sa kanya para alalalayan siya.
“Kate…”
“Nic…” aniyang natutulala. “Si Lucky…”
“He loved you more than I ever did. More than I could ever do. I regret so many things, Kate, but what I regret the most is the fact that my cowardice got in the way of an extraordinary love. I’m so sorry. I truly am.”
Muli siyang napahagulgol.
“Go after him.”
34
LOTHARIO
Inabutan ni Lucky na nakaupo sa grand salon ng Lothario si Alexis, nagbabasa. Himalang libro ang kasama nito ngayon at hindi babae.
“O, akala ko ba ay igi-give up mo na ang membership mo?” tanong nito.
Pabagsak siyang naupo sa sofa na kaharap nito. “Ngayon lang, bro.” Nahahapong isinandal niya ang likod at ulo sa backrest, pumikit. “Inom tayo.”
Nang hindi umimik si Alexis ay idinilat niya ang mga mata. Nakatitig ito sa kanya nang nang-aarok. “Trouble in paradise?”
“Paradise…” aniyang natawa nang may pait. “Wala, inom tayo. Pahatid ka ng Black Label, please.”
“May laro bukas. Maglalaro ka ba?”
“Yeap.”
“Pag uminom ka, mawawala ka sa kondisyon.”
Tumawa siya. “Ano ka, nanay ko? Ayaw mo no’n, kayo ang mag-champion?”
“Ayokong mag-champion by default.”
Sinenyasan niya ang isang waiter ng club na paikot-ikot sa grand salon, may dalang mga kopita ng inumin na nakapatong sa hawak nitong tray. Agad namang lumapit ito sa kanila.
“Pakidalhan kami ng dalawang bote ng Black Label.”
“Yes, sir.” Agad na tumalima ang waiter. He leaned back against the sofa again.
Napailing si Alexis. “I have time if you wanna spit some bile.”
Hindi siya umimik at muling pumikit. He didn’t have the energy to talk.
Maya-maya’y narinig niyang may lumapit sa kanila.
“Napa’no ’yan?” Boses ni Blue.
“Inuman daw,” si Alexis. “Humingi na ng Black.”
Someone sat beside him. “I could use a few shots.” Boses ni Marco.
Narito yata ang buong team ni X. Bigla siyang dumilat, inilibot ang mga mata sa kalawakan ng grand salon.
“Wala siya rito, hindi darating. Bukas na kami magkikita sa Polo Club,” sabi naman ni Alexis na parang nabasa ang iniisip niya.
“Ano’ng problema, bro?” tanong ni Blue na bahagyang tinapik ang hita niya.
“Wala. Walang problema. Bakit sabay kayong nandito? Nagmi-meeting ba kayo para sa laro bukas?” balik-tanong niya kay Blue.
“Oo naman. Bakit ka nandito? Magkikita rin ba kayo nina Jonty?”
Umiling siya. “Tapos na kami kanina.”
“So, nagpunta ka rito para maglasing?”
“Hindi naman, I just wanna relax. Tutulungan ninyo akong ubusin ’yong dalawang botelya.”
“Ano ’yan, strategy? Lalasingin mo kaming tatlo para manalo kayo bukas?”
“Kung ayaw ninyo, huwag. Ako na lang ang mag-isang uminom.” Tiyempo namang bumalik ang waiter at inilapag sa mesa nila ang dalawang bote ng Johnnie Walker Black Label at mga shot glasses.
Agad niyang binuksan ang isang bote at nagsalin sa baso niya, diretsong tinungga iyon. He did another shot. On his third glass, inagaw ni Alexis ang bote sa kamay niya. “Dahan-dahan. Maaga pa.”
“Ako ang umorder niyan,” asar na sabi niya rito.
Nagsalin si Alexis sa mga baso nina Blue at Marco.
“What’s wrong, man?” usisa ni Marco.
Wala siyang balak maglabas ng saloobin sa mga ito. No point in discussing a hopeless case.
“Let me guess…si Kate?”
Marahas siyang napabuntong hininga at inagaw ang baso ni Marco, tinungga. Napaubo siya. Nag-init na ang dugo niya dahil sa pagtalab ng alcohol sa sistema niya. Hindi rin siya natutuwa na tuwing astang may problema siya, pine-presume agad ng mga kaibigan na si Kate ang dahilan. He didn’t want anybody to know how he was hurting inside right now. He didn’t want their pity or sympathy. He’d only feel more pathetic.
“Pinag-uusapan ba ninyo ako pag wala ako?” he asked no one in particular.
“Oo naman,” si Blue na natawa. “Ang absent, pinupulutan. Ang dami mo kasing absences the past weeks kaya ikaw palagi ang topic.”
Nagsalubong na ang mga kilay niya. “At ano naman ang pinag-uusapan ninyo tungkol sa akin?”
Nagkatinginan ang tatlo.
Si Alexis ang sumagot. “Pinag-uusapan namin ang gulo ninyo nina Nico at DL. Parang palala na nang palala. Naaapektuhan na kaming lahat. Wala kaming kinakampihan alinman sa inyo, pero nalulungkot kami na hindi na nagkakasama ang tropa dito sa club tulad ng dati. Nag-iiwasan na kayo. I can’t even invite the three of you in my parties anymore like I used to dahil ayoko rin ng gulo. It really sucks for us. We used to have so much fun.”
Natahimik siya. “I’m sorry,” aniya kapagdaka. “Hindi ko kagustuhan na magkaganito ang lahat.”
“Paano ba kayo magkakasundo? Kailangan bang ilagay ko kayong dalawa ni Nico sa ring para matapos na ’yan?”
Alexis was referring to a fight in the ring to settle a dispute between members. Magbubugbugan ang dalawang may alitan hanggang mailabas nila ang lahat ng sama ng loob sa isa’t isa. Last man standing. Pagkatapos ay magbabati na sila at kakalimutan na ang alitan, kahit ano pa man ’yon. Kung hindi madala sa ring, magkakasundo na parehong tumiwalag sa club o isa ang mag-concede na tumiwalag.
Umiling siya. “Hindi kakayanin sa ring ito, pare. Kaya ako na ang aalis sa membership. Let him stay.”
“Man, you don’t need to do that,” protesta ni Blue.
“Pasensiya na, pero hindi na kami pwedeng magsama ni Nico sa iisang lugar. Gusto ko siyang patayin.”
Hindi nakaimik ang tatlo. Bumuntong-hininga si Alexis.
“I’m sorry.” Tumayo siya at dinampot ang hindi pa nabubuksang botelya ng Black Label. “Doon ko na sa suite ko itutuloy ito. Pag may naghanap sa akin, wala ako rito. Kahit sino pa ’yan. I wanna be left alone.”
Iniwan na niya ang tatlo. Tumuloy siya sa suite niya sa second floor. Mabuti at hindi pa ibinibigay ni Alexis ito sa iba. He hadn’t turned over his keys yet.
Umupo siya sa sahig at binuksan ang botelya ng alak, tumungga mula sa bote.
Sumandal siya sa gilid ng kama, pumikit.
He just wanted to drown everything and forget. Kahit ngayon lang. Gusto niyang maging manhid ang pakiramdam.
Tonight, he swore to move on. Let her be. Let her go. Kung kalayaan ang gusto nito, ibibigay na niya nang bukal sa loob niya. He’d thrown in the towel. Suko na siya. Hindi talaga sila para sa isa’t isa. Hindi noon. Hindi ngayon.
So be it. Tanggap na niya.
Tomorrow, he’d just be a father. Nothing else.
Nothing more…
“JETT, magkasama ba kayo ni Lucky?”
“I haven’t seen him in days, Kate. Though he called me yesterday, ilang linggo na siyang hindi nagagawi rito sa SU office. I do know he went to Subic yesterday. Bakit?”
“I just need to talk to him, Jett. Hindi ko kasi siya ma-contact. I went to his penthouse, but he wasn’t there. Cannot be reached ang phone niya.”
“I see. Hayaan mo, I’ll try to locate him for you.”
“Thanks, Jett. I’d really appreciate that.”
Nang matapos kausapin si Jett ay nanghihinang napaupo sa sofa si Kate. Linggo ngayon at wala siyang pasok ngunit maaga siyang gumising para tumawag sa mga common friends nila ni Lucky. Hindi niya na ito nakontak kagabi matapos nitong puntahan siya sa BGC. Mukhang ini-off nito ang cellphone nito. Saan kaya ito nagpalipas ng gabi? Mukhang hindi ito umuwi sa penthouse nito kagabi.
Balisang-balisa siya mula pa kahapon. Halos wala na naman siyang tulog at walang patid ang pagtulo ng mga luha niya mula pa kagabi. Mahapdi at mugto na ang mga mata niya. Ayaw niyang makita ng Mommy niya na umiiyak siya. Mabuti na lang at maaga itong sinundo kanina ng Tita Selena niya. Dadalawin daw ng mga ito ang bunsong kapatid ng mga ito na si Vera sa Urdaneta Village. Nagbubuhay-dalaga ang Mommy niya, halos araw-araw ay may lakad.
Naalala niyang hindi pa pala siya nag-aagahan eh halos tanghalian na. Ipinaghanda niya ang sarili ng makakain. She had to take care of herself and the baby growing inside her.
Makalipas ang ilang minuto ay kumakain na siya ngunit halos hindi naman pumasok sa lalamunan niya ang kinakain. There was an ache the size of a boulder in her chest that wouldn’t subside.
Oh Luck, where are you?
Matapos kumain ay tinawagan niya si DL, muling tinanong kung nakita na nito si Lucky. Hindi pa raw, at sinabihan siyang huwag makulit at tatawag agad ito kapag na-locate na nito si Lucky. Habang naghihintay sa tawag ng kapatid ay parang mga flashbacks na bumabalik sa kanya ang mga nakaraan nila ni Lucky. Ang mga masasayang sandali nila bilang magkaibigan.
Nagbuklat siya ng ilang mga photo albums. Maliban sa mga damit, ang mga iyon lang ang dinala niyang mga bagay sa pag-alis niya sa tahanan ng mga magulang. The rest, iniwan muna niya roon. She loved to preserve memories the traditional way, kahit pa digital age na. Lahat ng mga memorable events sa buhay niya ay ginagawan niya ng photo album. At napakalaking bahagi ng nagdaang mga taon ng buhay niya si Lucky.
He was more like an older brother to her, at first. Mas malapit ang edad nito kay DL, so ang mga ito ang nagkakasama kapag parehong libre ang mga ito sa trabaho. DL was already busy racing in different parts of the world then. Nahihiya pa siyang lumapit kay Lucky noon. Mahiyain kasi siya. Si Nico lang ang lalaking kapalagayang-loob niya noon, but it was a given dahil bata pa siya ay alam na niyang si Nico ang gusto ng Daddy niya na mapangasawa niya balang araw. Nakatanim na sa utak niya iyon.
She remembered when she and Lucky finally developed a closer friendship. Katatapos lang ng graduation niya noon sa high school. Nico failed to attend her graduation dahil nasa Amerika ito, may inasikasong importanteng deal para sa kompanya nito. Nalungkot siya nang husto noon. But Lucky attended her graduation, too, at niregaluhan siya nito ng isang relo. It was an exquisite, expensive piece. She remembered thanking him and telling him na naubos na yata ang savings nito sa pagbili ng relong iyon. Tumawa lang ito. Later she discovered that Lucky wasn’t exactly just a lowly soldier. He was an heir to a hotel chain in America and Asia. He was just so modest about it.
Since then, hindi na siya nahihiya kay Lucky. Kapag lumalakad ito at si DL, niyayaya siya ni Lucky, to her brother’s annoyance, dahil nakakaistorbo raw siya sa mga for-the- boys gimmicks ng mga ito. Natatawa lang si Lucky sa mga himutok ni DL.
Nico’s time with her became more limited when he was made CEO in his father’s company. Naging sobrang busy na ito. Lucky, on the other hand, quit the service and became a businessman, too, handling his family’s hotel chain in Asia, but he surprisingly made more time to be with her kahit alam niyang sobrang busy rin ito.
Lucky had showered her with special attention over the years pero hindi niya binigyang kulay ang mga iyon dahil naroon si Nico sa buhay niya. They were already engaged to be married. Wala siyang malisya kay Lucky dahil malimit namang kasama nila si DL kapag nagta-travel sila out of town o out of the country. Akala niya’y pagtinging kapatid lang ang turing nito sa kanya, ’yong tipong youngest sister na mistulang prinsesa nito. Maliban kay Nico, si Lucky lang ang lalaking pinakamalapit sa kanya na hindi niya kapatid o kamag-anak.
Prior to that night of her wedding, Lucky had always been a perfect gentleman. He had never touched her inappropriately, not even once, not even by accident. Alam nito kung saan lulugar. Lagi itong magalang. He was in fact a perfect man for the woman he’d choose to marry.
Naalala niyang kapag iniisip niya noon na mag-aasawa rin si Lucky eventually, nai-insecure siya na hindi niya maintindihan. Kahit noong engaged na siya kay Nico, she had this irrational feeling inside her. She didn’t want to share Lucky with any other woman. Ayaw niyang may mahalin itong iba maliban sa kanya. Sobrang nahihiya siya sa sarili niya noon kasi napaka-selfish naman niya na ayaw niyang makahanap rin ng sarili nitong partner si Lucky.
Now she understood those feelings. She had loved him even before. But she didn’t recognize it. It was there in her subconscious all along but she probably chose to ignore it. Nico was there, the man she must love, the man chosen for her, the man she was engaged to be married to. She had loved Nico with a clear purpose; she knew where she stood with him, as his fiancee and future wife. But she loved Lucky, too, in a manner she couldn’t describe.
But she knew the difference now. Why there was never an intense stirring of passion between her and Nico. They never went beyond the customary gentle kisses. But with Lucky, she suddenly felt this instantaneous passion for him at the most crucial moment. It was easy for her to choose him to be her lover. In those moments, she wanted to be with the man she trusted the most, the man who she subconsciously knew loved her the most. In her moments of weakness she recognized him as her mate, and she surrendered herself to him.
It all became clear to her the moment she faced Nico again yesterday, and she saw him on his knees asking for her forgiveness. As she stared at the man she used to love, she realized that what she’d shared with Nico was insignificant compared to what she’d shared with Lucky. Kaya siguro mas masakit sa kanya ang naging betrayal ni Lucky kumpara sa betrayal ni Nico. Nico was a fairy tale, an ideal. Lucky was her reality, the real deal.
Muling tumulo ang mga luha niya nang maalala ang mga salitang nabitiwan niya rito noon na labis na nakasakit sa damdamin ni Lucky. If she could only turn back time…
Please, God, give me another chance…I beg you.
NAGISING SI LUCKY na may yumuyugyog sa kanyang balikat. He squinted his eyes at whoever the fuck it was.
Si Alexis na naman.
“Luck, wake up. Maglalaro ka ba ngayon?”
Umungol siya at isiniksik ang ulo sa ilalim ng unan.
“It’s already ten in the morning, man. Papunta na ako sa Polo Club maya-maya. Sasabay ka ba sa akin?’”
He grumbled something unintelligible under the pillow. A major headache was pounding inside his skull.
“Luck, ano ba! Get the fuck up! Maglaro ka para mawala ’yang tanginang depression mo. Don’t be a fucking pussy, come on! Babae lang ’yan!”
“Fuck you.”
“No, thanks. I just fucked someone an hour ago. Shall I call a geisha to give you a blow job para magising ka?”
“X, Leave me alone, for fuck’s sake…fucking asshole…”
“Listen, you pussy-whipped crybaby. I want you to move your ass now and get ready to meet me in the fucking field this afternoon. We have three hours before the match. Magwa-warm up pa tayo. I want you out there giving it all you’ve got because I’m gonna whip your ass and claim that cup today, so don’t fucking ruin this for me, get that?”
Bumangon siya, naupo sa gilid ng kama, sapo ang ulo.
“Meet me at the poolside in thirty. Nagpahanda ako ng lunch. Sabay tayong pupunta sa Polo Club.”
Iniwan na siya nito.
Cussing colorfully, he hauled his ass off of the bed, and hit the shower.
ONE O’CLOCK nang hapon nang tawagan siya ni Jett.
“Hey, Kate, nasa Polo Club si Lucky ngayon. Maglalaro siya today.”
“Thanks, Jett!”
Dali-dali siyang nag-ayos at halos takbuhin ang elevator.
She had to see him. She had to talk to him. She had to make him understand.
She had to!
Oh God, please…!
SA LOCKER ROOM NG POLO CLUB, muling nakita ni Lucky si Nico. Nagtama ang kanilang mga mata. Ramdam kaagad niya ang pag-akyat ng blood presssure niya. Uminit ang kanyang mga tainga at bumilis ang pitik ng pulso niya.
Nakita niyang tinapik ni Alexis ang balikat ni Nico at may sinabi rito sa mahinang tinig. Umiwas na lang siya, tumalikod at lumabas ng silid.
Hinabol siya ni Nico. “Luck! Pare, sandali…!” Humarang ito sa daraanan niya.
Huminto siya. Malayelo ang tinging ipinukol niya rito. “Get out of my way.”
“Luck, please, pwede ba tayong mag-usap?”
“Wala tayong dapat pag-usapan.”
“Meron, pare. Si Kate.”
Kumuyom ang mga kamao niya. “I don’t care what she does, with you or anybody. May sarili siyang pag-iisip.”
Nilagpasan niya ito. Kaunti na lang at huhulagpos na ang galit niya rito. All these years, this man had made him miserable!
Muli itong humarang sa daraanan niya.
“Nico, leave me the fuck alone,” babala niya. Pilit niyang kinakalma ang sarili. This motherfucker had owned everything that meant the world to him, then and now. God, how he wanted him gone.
“Luck, ’yong nakita mo kahapon, nag-uusap lang kami. I went there to ask for her forgiveness. Nothing more.”
Tumawa siya nang sarkastiko. “Yeah, well, that’s not the point either. The point is, she loves you. She always has, and for the goddamn life of me, I can’t figure out why.”
Lumatay ang lungkot sa mga mata nito. “I know. I don’t deserve her. I never have.”
Ayaw na niyang makipag-usap dito. It was just rubbing salt to his injuries. All he wanted was to be left alone to lick his wounds in silence.
He stared at the man who had stood between him and his happiness all these years. Kahit kailan ay hindi siya nagkaroon ng laban kay Nico sa puso ni Kate. Puro ilusyon lang siya na may laban siya. His dreams were built in the sand, and he rebuilt them every time they got washed away by the waves. Over and over. Pero pagod na siya sa kabubuo ng mga pangarap niyang laging nawawasak. Talagang hindi para sa kanya si Kate. Panahon na para tanggapin niya ang mapait na katotohanan.
“It’s okay, Nic. People do make fools out of themselves all the time. I did with her. She did with you. What can we say? Life’s a bitch.”
Lumakad na siya palayo.
“Mahal ka niya, Luck,” narinig niyang sabi nito.
“I know.”
But that’s not the kind of love that I want from her. I want the kind of love that she has for you.
“See you out in the field, Nic.”
MARAMING TAO SA POLO CLUB nang dumating si Kate. Nakipagsiksikan siya sa mga nanonood sa gilid ng open field. Nakaupo ang karamihan sa mga puting silyang nakahilera sa damuhan, behind the white picket fences.
Nagsimula na ang laro. Hinanap ng mga mata niya sa mga rumaragasang mga kabayo si Lucky. Nakita kaagad niya ito kahit malayo ito. Lulan ito ng kabayo nitong si Bad Luck. Nakita rin niya sa field si Nico ngunit saglit lang niya itong tiningnan. Ang buong atensiyon niya ay nasa kay Lucky.
Her heart felt like it would burst with the intensity of her feelings. Parang gusto niyang tumakbo sa field papunta kay Lucky at yakapin ito. Parang hindi na siya makapaghintay na matapos ang laro para masabi niya rito ang laman ng kanyang puso.
God, she loved him. So much that she had not enough words to express it.
Kumakabog ang dibdib niya habang nanonood. Nananalo na ang team ni Lucky. Ito rin ang highest pointer sa scoreboard. Ngunit napansin niyang sobrang agresibo ang laro nito ngayon. Normally ay maingat ito, hindi reckless, ngunit ngayon ay ginagamitan nito ng hagupit si Bad Luck upang tumakbo nang mas mabilis. Halos hindi nito ginagawa iyon sa kabayo nito noon. Hindi ito nag-iingat, at lalo siyang kinabahan. Galit ito habang naglalaro. Dahil ba kalaro nito si Nico? Hindi rin naman niya ito masisisi sa nararamdaman.
Nang papalapit ang mga players sa kinatatayuan niya ay tumakbo siya palapit sa picket fence at sumigaw. “Lucky!”
Nilingon siya nito habang nakikipaggitgitan sa ibang mga players sa paghabol sa bola na gumugulong sa luntiang damuhan.
Nakaabante si Alexis.
Yumuko sa ibabaw ng kabayo nito si Alexis, iniumang ang mallet at akma nang hahampasin ang bola. Ngunit rumaragasang sinabayan ito ni Lucky, hinampas din ang bola. Nagbanggaan ang mga kabayo ng mga ito..
Bumigay ang tuhod ni BadLuck, bumagsak sa damuhan. Nahulog si Lucky mula sa likod nito at nadaganan ng paggulong ni Badluck.
Sa isang iglap, nagkalabo-labo ang mga kabayo sa field. Hindi nakontrol ni Marco ang kabayo nitong nagwala, bumagsak sa nakahandusay na si Bad Luck.
Parang huminto ang pagtibok ng puso ni Kate sa nakikita. Hindi siya nakahuma sa sobrang sindak. Parang naging slow-motion ang lahat sa kanya.
Tumunog ang bell ng umpire, sunod-sunod. Pinahinto nito ang laro. Nagsipagbabaan na rin ang ibang mga players sa mga kabayo ng mga ito upang daluhan ang mga naaksidente.
Napipilan sa pagkamangha ang mga spectators, namayani ang katahimikan.
Humangos sa field ang mga paramedics.
Nakita niyang nakabangon na si Marco, ngunit hindi kumikilos si Lucky. Nanatili itong nakadapa sa field.
Oh God…no…!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.
THANK YOU FOR VOTING AND COMMENTING.
35
“KATE!”
Tumakbo si Kate payakap sa kanyang ina. “Mom! Si Lucky…”
“Hija, ano ba’ng nangyari?”
Humihikbi niyang sinabi sa ina ang mga nangyari. Ito at si DL ang una niyang tinawagan kanina nang dinala ng mga paremedics sa ospital si Lucky. Hindi niya alam ang gagawin. Para siyang mamamatay sa takot at pag-aalala.
Maya-maya’y humahangos ring dumating ang kanyang Daddy. Tinawagan marahil ito ni DL.
“Ano’ng nangyari?” Usisa naman ng Daddy niya.
Walang alinlangang yumakap siya sa ama. “There has been an accident at the Polo Club, Dad. Lucky fell from his horse at nadaganan siya,” imiiyak niyang sumbong dito. “They are attending to him now. Hindi ko pa nakakausap ang doctor.” Halos hindi siya makahinga sa sobrang tensiyong nararamdaman.
She was seldom in hospitals and almost never saw injured people. First time niyang makaranas nang ganito na malapit sa kanya ang taong naaksidente at dinala sa ospital.
“Calm down, hija,” anang Mommy niya habang hinahagod ang likod niya. “Baka mapaano ang apo ko.” Her mother’s tone had a bit of a challenge in them, as though daring her husband to cross her on the matter. Hindi naman nag-react ng kung ano ang Daddy niya, na lubos niyang ipinagpapasalamat.
She was so happy both her parents were with her in these moments.
Maya-maya pa’y napuno na ng mga DeLeste ang waiting area malapit sa emergency room. Lahat ay worried na worried kay Lucky. Overcrowded na ang lugar dahil may iba pang inaasikasong mga pasyente ang mga doctors sa ER.
Naroon ang mga kaibigan ni Lucky na naglaro kanina sa Polo field, tensiyonadong naghihintay sa isang parte ng waiting area, mahinang nag-uusap. Sumabay siya sa sasakyan ni Alexis kanina, at sinundan nila ang ambulansiyang nagdala kay Lucky sa hospital. Kanina ay nasa loob siya ng ER kasama ni Alexis at gusto nilang makita ang ginagawa kay Lucky, ngunit pinalabas sila ng mga nurses at nakakaabala raw sila roon. Napilitan silang lumabas.
Makalipas ng halos dalawang oras, lumabas ang attending physician ni Lucky. Agad silang humangos palapit dito.
“Doc, kumusta siya? Is he alright? Tell me he’s all right, please?” sunod-sunod na usisa niya rito.
Bumuntong-hininga si Dr. Librojo. Kakilala ito ng pamilya niya. “Kate, I will level with you. Lucky’s CT Scan results say he has several broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, punctured spleen and lungs, and a lot of bruises. He has been intubated. He may need a blood transfusion. But those are the least of our concerns. Nagkaroon siya ng massive head trauma and he has not regained consciousness.”
“He has not regained consciousness, Doc? What does that mean? Is he…?”
“He is in a coma. There’s a bleeding in his brain, and we will know what needs to be done after we hear from the neurosurgeon within an hour. Meanwhile, we will operate on his other injuries ASAP.”
Nanghina ang mga tuhod niya at halos mabuwal. Inalalayan siya ni DL na nasa kanyang likuran.
“Doc, what are his chances for survival from this head trauma? Could he…could he die?” Halos hindi niya iyon maitanong ngunit nagawa niya.
“We must not get ahead of things, hija. If the neurosurgeon says we will operate on his brain, we will do so immediately. We will immediately inform you about the procedure. Until then, let us hope for the best. Lucky will be transferred to the OR in a few minutes for surgery. Excuse me, I need to get back to work.”
“ANAK, magpahinga ka na muna. Kami na muna ang bahala rito.”
“Ayoko, Mom. Babantayan ko si Lucky. Hindi ko siya iiwan.”
Nakatingin si Kate sa loob ng ICU. Nakahiga sa hospital bed si Lucky. Kung anu-anong aparato ang nakakabit sa mukha, dibdib at mga bisig nito. Naka-ventilator pa rin ito. Nangingitim ang kanang pisngi nito dahil sa malaking pasa. Naayos na ang shoulder nito at nilagyan ng metal plates ang mga nabaling ribs ni Lucky para mas madali ang paghilom niyon.
Gabi na nang Inilagay sa ICU si Lucky at mananatili ito roon upang obserbahan ang bleeding sa brain nito. They would perform more tests on him at malalaman sa susunod na araw kung kailangang operahan ito sa ulo. He still had not regained consciousness.
Natutulala na siya sa sobrang pag-aalala ngunit nagpapakatatag siya. Kailangan siya ni Lucky. God, hindi niya alam ang gagawin kapag namatay ito. Hindi siguro niya kakayanin.
Inakbayan siya ng ina, pinisil ang balikat niya. Hinalikan siya nito sa ulo. Her gentle presence comforted her somehow.
“Kelan ang dating ni Tita Becca, Mom?”
“Bukas. Susunduin siya ni DL nang gabi sa airport.”
Tumango siya, inihilig ang ulo sa balikat nito. “Mom, umuwi ka na kay Daddy, please. Magbati na kayo,” pakiusap niya rito.
Tumango ito. “Okay, hija. Don’t worry, okay? We’re okay ng Dad mo. Huwag mo na kaming alalahanin.”
Hindi pa sila nagkakausap nang masinsinan ng ama ngunit alam niyang magkakaayos rin sila. Bakas ang sobrang pag-aalala nito kay Lucky kanina kahit wala itong kaimik-imik na nakikinig lang sa mga nangyayayari sa ospital. Naghihintay ito sa suite na kinuha nila para kay Lucky sa ospital na iyon. She hoped na nagkabati na ito at ang Mommy niya. Hindi pa siya nagkaroon ng pagkakataong kausapin ang dalawa. Maraming mga kaibigan si Lucky na sumugod sa ospital kanina nang mabalitaan ang nangyari. Ang Mommy at Daddy niya ang nakiharap sa mga ito dahil hindi niya kaya. Naiiyak siya.
Maya-maya’y nagpaalam na ang ina na uuwi na.
“Pakipahatiran na lang po ako ng bihisan ko rito. Thanks, Mom.”
Nang makaalis ang ina ay lumapit naman sa kanya si Alexis.
“Kate, I’m so sorry. Parang may kasalanan ako sa nangyaring aksidente. I’ve always played on the edge…Hindi ko….” his voice trailed off. Puno ng guilt ang mga mata nito na umiling-iling. “I’m so sorry this happened.”
“It was an accident, Alex. Wala namang may gusto niyon. Well…I guess, may recklessness involved din siguro sa parte ninyong naglalaro. Sana lang ay mag-iingat na kayo sa susunod. Baka matulad kayo kay Lucky.”
Tumango ito at marahan siyang pinisil sa balikat, at saka lumayo na.
Nilapitan siya ni DL. “Kate, you can rest in the suite for now. Kami na muna ni X dito.”
Umiling siya. “No. Hihintayin kong magkamalay si Lucky. Dito lang ako malapit sa ICU maghihintay para malaman ko kaagad.”
“Kate, the nurses will inform you in the suite immediately if that happens. Please, you need some rest. Think of your baby,” giit ni DL.
“I know, pero kaya ko pa. Hayaan muna ninyo ako rito, please. Susunod na ako.”
Napabuntong-hininga ang kapatid niya. “Doon lang kami ni X sa suite na kinuha niya para sa mga guests. Katabi ’yun ng suite ni Lucky. Tawag ka lang if you need us, okay?”
Wala sa loob na tumango lang siya.
KATE DONNED A ROBE and went back into the ICU where Lucky was lying in. Nakiusap siya sa mga nurses doon na papasukin siya one last time ngayong gabi. Pumayag naman ang mga ito.
Tumayo siya malapit sa ulunan nito. Buong pagmamahal niyang hinaplos ang maputlang mukha nito. His lips were partly open as he breathed through a tube. Noon lang siya napag-isa na kasama ito sa ICU. Umupo siya sa tabi ng kinahihigaan nito at tinitigan ang mukha nito.
“Luck…” marahang tawag niya rito. She hoped na naririnig siya nito. Sabi nila, kahit nasa coma ay mayroong sense of hearing daw ang mga pasyente. Sana ay totoo ’yon. “I’m here. Nandito lang ako ha? Hindi ako aalis sa tabi mo. Nandito lang ako palagi.”
Buong ingat niyang idinampi ang palad sa kamay nitong may nakakabit na suwero. Her tears fell anew as as she traced the veins on his forearm with a feathery touch, hoping he could feel her touching him.
“Huwag mo akong iiwan, ha? Don’t die on me. Please, huwag mo akong gantihan sa ganoong paraan. Alam kong galit ka sa akin. I know I hurt you many times… pero wala namang ganyanan, please. You will wake up and get well and punish me, okay? Deal? But you need to wake up in order to do that. Please, Luck… please, wake up.”
Napayupyop siya sa tabi nito, muling nanangis. Idinampi niya ang mga labi sa kamay nito. Amoy rubbing alcohol iyon, and still she could smell his familiar scent, and she took it into her lungs to breathe back life into her system. Parang ilang beses siyang namatay ngayong araw. Ubos na ang enerhiya niya ngunit ayaw niyang matulog. Ayaw niyang magpahinga. Gusto niyang bantayan ito, bilangin ang hininga nito. The ventilator made his breathing deep and strong in an unnatural manner, and it was breaking her heart to see him like this. Kanina lang ay buhay na buhay ito, ang lakas-lakas, gumagalaw bilang isang magaling na athlete, ngunit sa isang iglap, ganito na ito ngayon, hindi kumikilos, hindi makahinga nang maayos kung walang ventilator.
Time. She had repeatedly asked for time from him. And now, he was giving her all that. He might just give her all the time in the world to be alone, too. He might not come back.
“Alam kong humingi ako ng panahon sa ’yo para makapag-isip. Ng space para makahinga. But I didn’t mean it like this, Luck. Sobra naman, ’to. Huwag namang ganito…”
She brought his hand to her lips. “I love you. I love you so so much more than I can ever express right now. Please, forgive me na nahirapan akong aminin ’yon. I’m sorry that it took seeing Nico again to make me realize how I felt for you… to make me see the difference. Habang nakatingin ako sa kanya kahapon, ikaw lang ang iniisip ko, Luck. I wanted to be with you so badly. I’m sorry na nakita mo kami sa ganoong ayos… pero nagkakamali ka ng iniisip. Hindi ko na siya mahal. Wala na akong nararamdaman sa kanya. Ang gusto ko na lamang ay makapagpatawad at mag-move on. So we can start on a clean slate. Tayo, Luck. Tayong dalawa.”
She rubbed her wet cheeks against his hand gently. “Please, bigyan mo ako ng chance na makabawi sa ’yo. Unfair ka masyado pag hindi mo ako binigyan ng chance. Everyone deserves a second chance. You have to give me another chance Luck, please…”
Tumayo siya at inilapit ang tiyan sa kamay nito. “Nararamdaman mo ba ang baby natin? Kailangan ka niya. Kailangan ka namin. Kailangan kita. You have to come back to us. That’s non-negotiable. Please, Luck. Please…”
Muli siyang naupo at inihilig ang ulo sa gilid ng kama, nakadikit ang mukha sa kamay nito, ninanamnam ang konting init na nangagaling sa balat nito, comforting herself that he was still breathing. That he was still alive.
Matagal siya sa ganoong posisyon hanggang sa pumasok ang isang nurse at sinabihan siyang kailangan na niyang lumabas.
Muli niyang hinalikan ang kamay nito. ““I’ll be back first thing in the morning, my love. Nandito lang ako,” bulong niya rito.
Kahit ang bigat-bigat sa loob niya ay napilitan siyang iwan si Lucky.
DUMATING ANG INA NI LUCKY, ngunit hindi nito kasama ang asawang Amerikano.
Nag-iiyakan sila habang nakatunghay kay Lucky sa ICU. In between catching her breath, she told Lucky's mother about what happened.
Humagulgol si Becca. "Lucky, anak, Mommy is here now. Nandito na ako, anak ko."
Hinagod niya ang likod nito. Bihira silang magkita ni Becca ngunit sa mga pagkakataong nagkita sila, she felt really close to her. Nag-uusap naman sila sa telepono at least twice a month. Sa kanya ito nangungumusta tungkol sa anak nito.
"Ano ang sabi ng doctors niya?" tanong nito nang kumalma.
Kahit hirap ang loob niya’y inulit niya rito ang sinabi ng doctor ni Lucky kahapon tungkol sa totoong prognosis nito.
"Malalaman natin ngayong araw kung kailangan ba siyang operahan sa brain, Tita."
Muling napaiyak si Becca. "God, please, don't...Napakarami kong pagkukulang sa anak, ko, Kate. I haven't been a very good mother to him."
"Tita, huwag kayong magsalita nang ganyan."
Ngunit ganoon rin ang nararamdaman niya. She needed to make up for her shortcomings with him. The only thing she was asking from God was to be given a chance to love him as he deserved to be. She had loved him all these years like her older brother, and as his bestfriend, too. Now she wanted to love him as a woman. A woman who was so passionately in love with her man.
Ipinagtapat na rin niya kay Becca ang tungkol sa kanila ni Lucky, pati ang pagbubuntis niya.
Hinaplos nito ang kanyang pisngi. "Hija, alam mo ba ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit ayaw maglagi ni Lucky kasama ko sa Amerika? Ikaw. Ayaw niyang malayo nang matagal sa 'yo. Alam ko 'yon kahit hindi niya sinasabi. Walang ibang dahilan na manatili pa siya rito kung tutuusin. We could have sold the hotels here in Asia and just concentrated in the US and parts of Europe, pero siya ang may gusto na manatili sa Asia, lalo na rito sa Pilipinas. Dahil narito ka. You have always been his home.
"I'm sorry, Tita."
"Well, it's been tough on me that he chose to reside here instead of with me in the States, but what can I do? Ikaw ang nakakapagpasaya sa kanya."
“Kung iisipin ko ang mga nasayang na mga taon na hindi naging kami ni Lucky, nanghihinayang ako nang sobra, Tita. Pero nangyari na ang mga nangyari. I just wanted a fresh start with him, pero nangyari naman ito…” Napahikbi siyang muli.
“Hija, be strong. May awa ang Diyos. My son needs you. Magkaka-baby na kayo. You will have your own family. Maging matatag tayo pareho para sa kanya. He’s a very strong man. He will make it. I know he will.”
PUMIRMA SI BECCA ng isang kasulatan bilang pagbibigay-permiso sa gagawing brain surgery kay Lucky para alisin ang blood clots sa utak nito. Ipinaliwanag ng nuerosurgeon sa kanila ang gagawing procedure. First, they would burr little holes in Lucky’s skull to drain the blood clots. Hopefully, they wouldn’t have to open up a bigger portion of his skull to complete the procedure..
Parang mahihimatay siya sa takot. Napakamaselan ng utak ng tao. Anything could go wrong and…she didn’t want to think of the possible bad outcomes.
She had no choice but to leave everything in the capable hands of the neurosurgeon and his assistant surgeons, and ultimately, to God.
Wala naman na siyang magagawa kundi magtiwala na hindi siya dadayain ng kapalaran sa ganitong paraan. Hindi kukunin si Lucky sa kanya nang hindi man lang niya itong nagawang mahalin as he deserved to be. She prayed that fate wouldn’t be so cruel to her as to deny her this.
Magkasama sila ni Becca na nagdasal sa chapel ng hospital habang naghihintay na matapos ang surgery ni Lucky. Naroon ang mga magulang niya, ang mga tiyo at tiyahin at ang mga kaibigan niya. DL was there with Alexis, Jett and a man named Dax.
They were all anxiously waiting for Lucky to come back to them.
TO READ THE REST OF THIS STORY, GO TO MY EFBEE ACCOUNT (Eve Montelibano).THERE’S A LINK THERE THAT WILL DIRECT YOU TO THE SITE. THANKS.
SA NALALAPIT NA PAGTATAPOS NG NOBELANG ITO , gusto kong pasalamatan kayong lahat na mainit na tumangkilik sa istorya nina Kate at Lucky. Hindi man naging madali ang daan nila patungo sa happy ending, pasasaan ba’t makakarating din sila roon. I MIGHT add a cute EPILOGUE:)
DON’T FORGET TO VOTE AND COMMENT! xoxo
36
KATE LOVINGLY GAZED AT THE FACE of her beloved today. It’s been thee days since his brain surgery. It was a great success. Naampat na ang pagdurugo ng brain nito at maganda na ang prognosis nito, sabi ng doctor nito. Naging normal na ang mga vital signs nito. Tinanggal na rin ang ventilator at nasal cannula na lamang ang nakakabit sa ilong nito upang mas komportable itong makahinga sa tulong ng oxygen tank. Nagre-recover pa kasi ang lungs nito. He was still being liquid-fed through a TPN tube attached to his upper chest.
Ngunit hindi pa rin ito nagkakamalay at nag-aalala pa rin siya. Sabi naman ng neurosurgeon ay ganoon daw talaga pag nagkaka-trauma ang utak. Nagde-demand ang nervous system ng pahinga, temporarily shutting down other bodily functions upang maka-recover sa stress na natamo. Antayin lang daw at natural na magkakamalay din si Lucky anytime soon
Hindi pa rin siya totally assured hangga’t hindi niya nakikitang nakadilat na ang mga mata ni Lucky at nakakapagsalita na ito. Abot-abot pa rin ang dasal niya na paggising nito ay normal pa rin ang lahat dito. But she was just so thankful to God that his brain surgery went well. Nakahinga ang lahat nang maluwag nang malamang ligtas na sa peligro ang buhay ni Lucky.
Her support system during Lucky’s critical stage was solid, lalong-lalo na ang mga magulang niya. Sa wakas ay nagkausap rin sila nang masinsinan ng Daddy niya kahapon nang magkasarilinan sila sa suite ni Lucky.
Muli siyang humingi ng tawad dito ngunit sa labis na pagkagulat niya ay ang Daddy niya ang taos-pusong humingi ng tawad sa kanya. Hinding-hindi niya makakalimutan ang mga sinabi nito.
“Napakabait mong anak, hija. Kahit kailan ay hindi mo ako binigyan ng problema o sama ng loob. I have always been so proud of you. I am proud of the woman you have become today. I’m sorry na naging makasarili ako, na naging mas importante sa akin ang family tradition at pangangalaga sa reputasyon at pangalan ng pamilya natin kaysa pagiging ama ko sa ’yo. I am deeply sorry, anak. Can you give your father another chance?”
Napaiyak siyang yumakap dito. Her father was a proud man. Apology didn’t come easy for him. He was not emotionally expressive, as well. But in the past days since Lucky’s accident, and especially during that conversation, he had showed her how important she was to him.
“Oh, Dad, of course! I love you.”
Naluluha pa itong nagkwento. “Pinuntahan ako ni Lucky last week. Kinausap niya ako. He stood up for you against me, and I have never felt such regret. Here was a man who truly loved my daughter and I was a fool for wanting something else for you. Please, forgive me, hija. Hayaan ninyong makabawi ako sa inyo ni Lucky.”
Sobrang saya niya kahapon. If only Lucky was there to hear everything her father said.
Dumalaw rin si Aris kay Lucky kahapon. Hindi ito nagtagal. He just held her hand in sympathy and no longer mentioned anything about them dating in the future. Mukhang nakita na nito kung nasaan ang puso niya. Sobrang obvious naman. He wished Lucky a speedy recovery, and left as their good friend. Aris was such a great guy. She prayed that someday a wonderful woman would come into his life and make him the happiest man.
Nico called her up on the phone the other day to express his concern for Lucky and also for her. Minabuti na lamang daw nitong huwag ng magpakita sa hospital para makaiwas sa gulo. Galit pa rin ang pamilya niya rito. She couldn’t blame her family, too. Protective lang ang mga ito sa kanya. One day soon, she would have to ask her family to move on from that debacle and just let Nico be. Maliit lang ang mundong ginagalawan ng mga angkan nila at ayaw niyang lalong sumikip iyon. She wanted a new beginning for her and Lucky devoid of any remnants of the past.
PABALIK-BALIK SI KATE SA ICU buong araw. Ika-limang araw na mula noong brain surgery ni Lucky. Kinakausap niya ito, masayang kinukwentuhan. Parang naririnig kasi siya nito dahil hindi na hapis at maputla ang balat nito. Bumalik na ang magandang kulay ng balat nito. Parang natutulog lang ito nang matiwasay. Ramdam niyang naririnig talaga siya nito.
Kaninang umaga ay dumaan si Alexis para dalawin si Lucky at ibinigay nito sa kanya ang sports bag ni Lucky na naiwan sa locker room ng Polo Club noong huling naglaro ang mga ito. Naroon ang wallet at cellphone nito.
Kahit kailan ay hindi naman siya usyosera sa mga gamit nito pero nakatuwaan lang niyang i-try na buksan ang phone nito. May security password iyon. Nag-isip siya nang konti at nag-type. Nagulat pa siya nang nabuksan niya agad iyon.
Nakangiti siya nang malapad at umupo sa tabi ng kama nito, dala-dala ang cellphone nito. “Birthday ko ang password ng phone mo? How predictable mo naman, love.”
Binuksan niya ang photos nito. Napangiti siya na naluluha. These were his fond memories through the years. Ini-scan niya ang mga larawan. Siya, o silang dalawa o kasama si DL at ang pamilya niya ang nasa mga larawan. May ilang larawan ang ina nito at mga childhood pictures nito. Some were with him and his closest friends like Alexis, Russel, Marco, Blue, Dylan, Jonty, Kit, Jett and other guys she hadn’t met yet but familiar-looking. Pero karamihan sa mga pictures ay siya. Halos lahat ay candid shots. She didn’t even notice when he took these pictures. Nag-walk down memory lane tuloy siya.
“I remember where this was taken. Nanalo si DL ng British Super Grand Prix. We celebrated in this club at The Fort…Tapos, ito, sa Amanpulo tayo with Mom, Dad and DL and my cousins…Tinuruan mo akong mag-scuba diving diyan…”
“Oh my God, how could you take a picture of me looking like this?! Ang pangit-pangit ko dito! Wala akong ligo!”
“…Oh this, noong 28th birthday mo ito. We threw this party for you at The Empress. You looked really gorge in this suit, my love…”
“And this, Oh my God, I remember this! Kao-open lang ng skywalk glass bridge sa China, and we went there with DL, and you dared me to cross it with you knowing I was scared to death with heights…Tapos halos gumapang na ako…Ayan, may video pala…”
Tawa siya nang tawa sa nakikita sa video. “Nakakaloka, gumagapang talaga ako dito, o! Pinagtripan ninyo ako ni DL dito, grabe kayo. Pero in fairness, natawid ko siya kahit mas maraming gapang kaysa lakad. Thank you, love, dahil doon nawala na ’yong takot ko sa heights…”
“Tapos ito, noong tinuturuan mo akong mag-drive. Grabe, ang saya-saya ko noon. Feeling nanalo ako ng grand prix habang hawak ko ang manibela for the first time. Mabuti hindi ka natakot na maging passenger ko ’no? Maraming salamat, love. You gave me so much confidence that day.”
“Ito naman ’yong opening ng hotel ninyo sa Macau. Lumipad yata ang buong DeLeste clan sa Macau noon. Ako ang bumili ng Tom Ford suit mo dito o. Ang gwapo-gwapo mo talaga, love. Why didn’t you tell me you had a big crush on me noon pa? Mas maaga mo sana akong naturuan tungkol sa birds and the bees at naimulat sa mga masasarap na kababalaghan, alam mo na…” Napahagikhik siya. “Miss ko na kaya ’yon, kaya gumising ka na ha, para makarami tayo bago lumobo nang husto itong tiyan ko.”
Nagulat pa siya nang tumunog and BP monitor. Napatingin siya kay Lucky. Gumagalaw ang ulo nito. Tumaas ang BP nito!
She stood up and leaned over to him. “Luck?” tawag niya rito, habang halos humulagpos ang puso niya mula sa dibdib sa magkakahalong emosyong naramdaman. Oh my God, was he awake now?!
“Luck, can you hear me?”
His eyelids moved, fluttered, and he slowly opened his eyes.
It was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen in awhile.
Napaiyak siya sa sobrang pasasalamat. “Luck…! It’s me! Oh God, you’re awake!”
He made an unintelligible sound. It was the sweetest song to her ears.
Biglang pumasok sa silid ang dalawang nurses.
Tumabi siya, sumandal sa dinding at hinayaang asikasuhin ng mga ito si Lucky. Lumilingon ito sa kanya, hinahanap siya.
“I’m here, love. I’m just here. I’m not going anywhere.”
The attending ICU doctor soon arrived and checked his vitals.
Nanginginig siya sa sobrang saya. When the doctor and nurses were done checking on him, they removed the nasal cannula from his nose, freeing his face of any contraptions.
Kinakausap ng doctor si Lucky, tinatanong kung naaalala ba nito ang nangyaring aksidente rito. He was drowsy and his voice was slurry, his movements, disoriented, but he was answering the doctor with more coherence than expected. And his eyes recognized her right away! Hindi naapektuhan ng injury nito ang pag-iisip nito. Thank God!
Noon niya naalalang tawagan ang Mommy niya at ibinalitang nagising na si Lucky. Naroon ito sa suite nila, nakikipagkwentuhan sa ina ni Lucky.
Sa wakas ay muli niyang nalapitan si Lucky.
“Luck…?”
“Don’t cry…” anas nito. His eyes were still dazed, but she saw the familiar tenderness in them. And love. So much love.
Maingat niya itong niyakap at umiyak. She kissed his cheek gently, careful not to touch his injuries.
“I love you…I love you…Thank God… Oh, Thank God…” paulit-ulit na bulong niya rito.
“Babe…water…”
The nurse was immediately beside her with a glass of warm water. Siya ang nagpainom dito. Uhaw na uhaw ito.
Maya-maya’y humahangos na pumasok sa silid sina Becca at ang Mommy niya.
She let his mother have her moment with him. It was emotional.
Niyakap niya ang Mommy niya, relief and joy flowing through them both.
NAGISING SI KATE sa naramdamang masuyong paghagod sa kanyang buhok. Dahan-dahan niyang iniangat ang mukha mula sa pagkakayupyop sa tabi ng hospital bed. Nailipat na sa suite nito si Lucky kanina ngunit muli itong nakatulog nang ilang oras.
Hindi siya umalis sa tabi nito at hinintay na muli itong magising na mas malakas na ang pakiramdam.
“Hello, angel.”
Finally he could speak clearly.
Muli ay parang tumigil sa pagtibok ang puso niya, nahigit ang hininga sa bugso ng kaligayahang lumukob sa kanyang kamalayan.
“Luck…I love you.” Iyon ang unang nasambit niya. Gusto niyang bumawi sa pagsabi niyon.
Ngumiti ito. “I heard you in my dreams… I heard you saying that…”
Tumulo ang kanyang mga luha. Gusto niya itong daluhungin nang mahigpit na yakap at pupugin ng mga halik, ngunit ayaw niyang masaktan ito. Kaya, ginagap na lamang niya nang mahigpit ang kamay nito at hinalik-halikan. “Hindi ka nananaginip. Sinasabi ko sa ’yo iyon araw-araw, and I will say them again and again each day that we are together for the rest of our lives. I love you, Lucky. I love you!”
“Hmm…” Matamis ang naging ngiti nito. Kahit may benda sa ulo ay napakaguwapo pa rin nito sa kanyang paningin.
“Ano’ng hmm? At may sasabihin ka rin ba sa akin?”
“Huh? Meron ba?” painosenteng tanong nito.
“You are supposed to say you love me, too.”
“Gano’n ba?…. Bakit parang may amnesia yata ako. Wala akong maalala na mahal kita,”’ natatawang sabi nito.
She rolled her eyes at him. “Okay, sige na nga, I deserve that.”
His hand moved to touch her face, his eyes turning serious. “I’m sorry, baby…”
“For what?”
“For making you cry and worry so much.”
“Do you really remember what happened?”
“Yes…bits and pieces. But I remember…And I’m sorry for being a reckless fool, angel…I put my life in danger senselessly… and I caused everybody unnecessary pain and worry…I’m sorry. Muntik ng mawalan ng Daddy ang baby natin.”
“Shhh, it’s alright. Ang importante sa akin ngayon ay bumalik ka na sa akin. I was so afraid, Luck.”
“Hindi ko na gagawin ulit ’yon, I promise. Mag-iingat na ako nang husto.”
Tumango-tango siya. “I missed you so much.”
“Come here…”
Maingat niyang niyakap ito. “I love you.”
“You can’t possibly love me more than I love you.”
“I know you have a headstart in that, but we have the rest of our lives for me to catch up, right?”
“Yes.”
She kissed his lips tenderly.
Everything was in this kiss now. All of her. All of him.
They were truly one.
HABANG NATUTULOG SI LUCKY SA OSPITAL nang araw na iyon ay nagpa-drive si Kate kay Jojo papunta sa condo ni DL upang kumuha ng karagdagang gamit niya. The doctors advised Lucky to recuperate in the hospital for another week or more under close monitoring to make sure his brain was properly healing, as well as his other internal organs damaged from the accident. Gusto rin niyang makasiguro na magaling na ito talaga bago lisanin ang hospital. Ayaw nga nitong manatili nang matagal roon, pero hindi siya pumayag. Hindi naman ito kumontra pa nang sabihin niyang sasamahan niya ito sa ospital 24/7. Malapad na ang ngisi nito nang sabihin niya iyon. As if naman iniwan niya ito noong naka-coma pa ito.
Ngayon lang actually siya umalis ng ospital. Gusto kasi niyang makapag-ayos ng sarili at nalosyang na yata siya nang nakaraang mga araw sa sobrang stress.
She took a long shower, scrubbed her skin thoroughly, conditioned her hair well, shaved what needed to be shaved. She cut her nails, moisturized her skin and wore a bit of make-up. She made herself really pretty for him. Bumabalik na ang dating lakas nito at ayaw niyang mukhang nagpapabaya sa sarili sa paningin nito.
They were officially a couple now in the eyes of everyone. She was so excited to be his official girlfriend, fiancee, or whatever. Hindi na importante ang labels sa kanya ngayon o sasabihin ng ibang tao. Ang importante ay nagmamahalan sila nang malaya, and everyone that mattered to them was happy for them both.
Dumaan din siya sa penthouse ni Lucky upang kumuha ng mga kagamitan nito for the next week. Now that there was no longer any tube connected to his body, he would likely want to use his own clothes in the coming days.
Pabalik na siya sa hospital nang tumunog ang cellphone niya. Nakangiti niyang sinagot iyon.
“Hello, love.”
“Where are you?
“
May tampo sa tinig nito. “Kumuha lang ako sandali ng mga gamit natin. Pabalik na ako.”
“You left while I was sleeping.”
“Sus, andiyan naman si Tita Becca. Para sandali lang eh.”
“Basta, balik ka na dito.”
“Opo. Andiyan na po. Mga twenty minutes. I love you.”
He grunted.
“Ang tagal pa. Okay, I love you. Ingat, babe.”
Naiiling siyang nangingiti nang matapos silang mag-usap. Demanding na ulit ito. Mukhang hindi na yata babalik ang BFF niyang ubod nang tiyaga at walang imik na maghihintay lang. She was now stuck with a lover who was so alpha-dominant and always impatient and greedy for her attention.
But she wasn’t complaining. Nope. He was healing well.
Besides, there would plenty of time to train her dragon. A lifetime.
Natawa siya sa naisip.
PAGDATING NI KATE SA HOSPITAL SUITE NI LUCKY, naroon na ang parents niya, kausap si Becca. Becca was residing at her parents’ house as their special guest. Hindi pinayagan ng mga ito na manirahan si Becca sa Hotel de Angelo nang mag-isa habang narito sa Pilipinas. Tuwang-tuwa naman ang ina ni Lucky.
Nang mabakante ang nag-iisang presidential suite sa hospital na iyon, her father availed it for Lucky, para raw magkasya silang lahat kapag dumadalaw sila at komportable silang mag-stay nang matagal-tagal. Halos araw-araw ngang naroon ang kanyang parents para dalawin si Lucky. Marami itong bisita araw-araw at minsan ay nayayamot na ito at wala raw silang privacy. Natatawa na lang siya. Ang ibig nitong sabihin ay hindi sila makapagsalirinan na silang dalawa lang sa suite. Palagi kasing may ibang tao roon maliban sa kanyang nagbabantay dito. As if naman he was already strong enough to do the things he used to do.
Inilapag niya ang mga dalang carry-all sa sahig at nginitian si Lucky nang matamis.
Nakaupo ito sa hospital bed nito. “Kumusta ang baby ko?” malambing niyang niyakap ito.
“Ang tagal mo,” anitong medyo nagtatampo.
She gave him a peck on the lips. “Hindi ka naman siguro na-bore?” panunukso niya rito.
“Paalisin mo sila,” bulong nito sa pilyong ngisi. His hands cupped her behind, squeezing possessively.
Pinandilatan niya ito. “Hush, behave,” aniya at bumitiw dito. “Sandali lang…”
Pinuntahan niya sa lounging area ng suite ang mga magulang at si Becca, bumati at humalik sa mga ito. Nagkakape ang mga ito at masayang nagkukwentuhan.
Saka niya binalikan si Lucky. Muli siyang hinapit nito palapit sa katawan nito. He dipped his head and burrowed his face in her neck. “Bango-bango…” She felt his tongue lave her skin.
The past few days, he’d been energized enough to feel her up whenever he could, starting to get naughty again, lalo na nang nakaligo na ito sa banyo nang full bath. Ayaw na nitong magpa-assist sa nurse. Nahihiya na ito. He had asked her to help him bathe instead. Nahirapan pa rin itong kumilos dahil sa benda sa abdominal injuries nito at sa plates sa ribs nito, pero kinaya nito. He hated being an invalid.
And now, he was becoming super amorous again. Definitely a great sign of his recovery.
Nilingon niya ang kinaroroonan ng mga magulang. This suite was designed as a multi-room hotel suite, so hindi nagkakakitaan agad ang mga taong naroon. Ganunpaman ay naeeskandalo siya sa ginagawa nito. “Luck, behave. Nakakahiya sa Mommy mo,” bulong niya rito. But the naughty look in his eyes had her heart palpitating in excitement. If he was strong enough to be this horny again…her insides fluttered at the thought.
Kinabig siya nito upang mapaupo siya sa gilid ng kama.
“Luck…ang ribs mo…” she protested, but it was only half-hearted. His tongue was so hot, leaving liquid heat on her skin from her neck down to her chest, causing her to have goosebumps all over. Her nipples flowered behind her bra as he licked the tops of her breasts, her femininity clenching in longing, flowing with her liquid desire.
“I miss you, babe. It’s been so long…” anas nito.
God, she had missed him, too. So much!
“Children, we’re going.”
Napaiktad sila pareho.
Becca was smiling knowingly at them at the archway. Her parents, too.
“Aalis na kami. Pupuntahan namin ang isang art exhibit sa Ayala Museum. Baka may magustuhan kami,” sabi naman ng Mommy niyang nakangiti rin nang pilya.
Medyo namumula naman ang Daddy niya, pero game na ito. “O, dahan-dahan kayo. Baka mabinat si Lucky,” anito at saka medyo natawa.
Pulang-pula marahil ang mukha niya. Nakangisi naman si Lucky sa mga ito, hindi affected na nahuli sila sa aktong nagme-make out. “See you later po,” anito at nagba-bye gesture pa sa mga ito.
Nang makaalis ang mga magulang nila ay muli niyang pinandilatan si Lucky. “Ikaw talaga…”
Bumangon ito sa kama.
“Hoy, teka…” Agad niyang inalalayan ito. “Dahan-dahan, love. Gusto mong mag-CR?”
Ngumisi lang ito at humawak sa balikat niya. “Doon tayo.”
Mabagal silang naglakad, iginiya siyang pumasok sa guestroom ng suite. Inalalayan niya ito sa dahan-dahang pag-upo sa isa sa mga kama roon.
“Close the door,” utos nito.
His eyes were smoldering with passion. Alam na niya ang gustong mangyari nito.
“Lucky ha…”
“I wanna feel you pussy around my cock again.”
* * * * *
ABANGAN ANG NALALABING CHAPTER NG NOBELANG ITO, PLUS AND CUTE EPILOGUE.
Maraming salamat sa mga patuloy na bumoboto at nagko-comment nang maganda hindi lang dito kay Lucky kundi pati na rin sa Pop Diva at kay Dax. You inspire me and make this Watty experience worthwhile for me. XOXO
37
HIS EYES WERE SMOLDERIN G with his carnal intention.
“Lock the door,” he commanded.
“Hindi ka pa magaling, hon…”
“I said…lock the door.”
Alanganing sumunod siya rito. The interior doors of this suite had locks, except for the main door where hospital staff were free to come and go during work hours.
“Now, come here…”
Lumapit siya ulit dito, tumayo sa tapat nito. He opened his legs and pulled her toward him, embracing her, burrowing his face in her chest.
“I missed you so much, babe…” he whispered raggedly..
Pinaglandas nito ang mga kamay na parang eskultor na hinuhulma ang hubog ng kanyang katawan. His touch electrified her, awakening all her erogenous zones.
“I missed you too…”
He buried his face in her stomach, inhaling deeply. “How’s our baby?”
“Growing fast.” Her fingers threaded through his hair, shaping his head.
“Daddy’s growing fast, too.”
Tumingala ito sa kanya, nakangisi nang pilyo. Indeed, she could feel him against the front of her legs. Hard. Wanting her.
Lalong nag-init kaagad ang pakiramdam niya nang hilain siya nito papasok sa silid na ito. Feeling how much he had missed her only heightened her body temperature. Her inner muscles clenched with that familiar ache.
“Luck, behave. You’re not strong enough.”
Bilang sagot, his hands cupped her breasts and squeezed possessively.
Hindi niya napagilan ang mapaungol. Her nipples puckered to hardened points underneath the material of her thin bra. Napaka-sensitive ng mga ito lately.
“Luck…”
Hinila nito pababa ang elastic top ng kanyang damit, exposing her bra-covered breasts. He surveyed them with blatant male appreciation. “They are definitely much bigger than before.”
“Ang lagay eh hindi ka kuntento dati?”
He grinned like a rascal. “Kuntento, siyempre, pero sino ba ang ayaw ng bonus? Lalo na kung malaking bonus?”
She pulled his hair playfully and laughed. “Luko-luko!”
He released the front clasp of her bra. Her breasts were indeed noticeably plumper than before, and they popped out and bounced a little as they were released from confinement. She sighed in relief. Ayaw na nga sana niyang magsuot ng bra ngayong buntis siya dahil naaalibadbaran siya, pero ’di naman pwede ’yon kung lalabas siya sa publiko. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam nang walang bra, lalo na’t tinititigan ng lover niya ang mga boobs niya na parang masasarap na pagkain at gutom na gutom ito. It made her feel so beautiful and sexy.
He licked the undersides of her breasts, slowly working his way around her nipples. One after the other, he worshipped her breasts with his lips and tongue.
Napakapit siya sa mga balikat nito at napakagat-labi. Ramdam niya ang pamamasa ng kanyang pagkababae dahil sa ginagawa nito. Bakit napakabilis niyang ma-arouse ngayon? Pakiramdam niya’y magka-come na siya from him licking and sucking her nipples alone.
“Luck…”
“What, my love?”
HIndi naman niya alam ang sasabihin. Natatakot siya na baka masaktan ito dahil sa gusto nitong mangyari, pero sabik na sabik naman siya rito.
Naglalandas ang mga palad nito sa kanyang mga hita, humahagod pataas, dumako sa kanyang likuran. He squeezed and rubbed her derriere. Gosh, she felt so sensitive there, too. Buong katawan niya ay napaka-sensitive. Konting haplos lang, parang kinukuryente ang balat niya at direktang bumubuga ang mga boltahe sa pagitan ng mga hita niya.
“You want more, babe?”
Ungol lang ang kanyang naisagot bago sumentro ang haplos nito sa kanyang pagkababae. He touched her through her lace panties.
Ito naman ang napaungol. “Shit, babe, you’re soaked. You really missed me, didn’t you?”
“Shut up. We’re not supposed to be doing this.”
“Said who?”
His fingers gently traced her slit. She was holding her breath in anticipation of his fingers directly touching her down there.
“Your doctors.”
“I don’t remember them saying anything like I can’t fuck my woman.”
God, he could be so crude. Palagi itong may F-bombs kapag nagse-sex sila, pero mas naa-arouse naman siya ng mga ganoong salita nito, lalo na ngayon. Alam na kasi niyang he both desired her sexually and loved her with reverence, too. She no longer felt overwhelmed and frightened by his intensity.
“Luck…” Habol niya ang hininga. He was now touching her bare flesh, her panties gone. Nahubad nito iyon nang halos hindi niya namalayan.
His fingers sank into her wet folds, finding her throbbing center. Napakapit siya nang mahigpit sa mga balikat nito, nanghina ang mga tuhod.
“You were saying, my love?” He was rubbing her clit so deliciously, sending her thoughts scattered all over the place. Oh God, how she had missed this. It’s been so long!
“Uhmmm, Luck…we shouldn’t–”
His finger entered her.
Napaliyad siya sa sobrang sarap. She was burning up now from the inside out.
“Luck…oh god…!”
“I want you to come for me, baby…”
Hindi na nito kailangan sabihin iyon. Her inner muscles were clencing around his finger hungrily, gunning for orgasm. Parang sinisilaban ang pakiramdam niya sa sobrang pananabik. She was so close to the summit so fast!
He rotated his finger inside her, stretching her opening. “Fuck, I’ve missed your tightness babe…”
Another finger found its way inside her, stretching her even more. He sucked her nipples as he played with her pussy. His fingers started moving in and out of her. Nakakabaliw na sarap
As his lips became more ravenous on her nipples, his fingers moved faster between her legs, too.
Gutom na gutom ang katawan niya sa ganitong pagmamahal nito at ilang segundo lang ay halos nasa sukdulan na siya.
Hinila nito ang kamay mula sa kanyang pagkababae at pinaupo siya sa kandungan nito. He adjusted their bodies and fumbled between them.
He kissed her lips, his tongue invading her mouth. Then he was rubbing his hard cock against her wetness. Her arousal level shot even higher. It just felt uniquely different when his cock touched her pussy. Alam niya ang kasunod at halos hindi na siya makapaghintay.
She wanted his cock deep inside her.
Nanggigil siya sa sobrang antisipasyon. “Luck, please…” She rained kisses on his face, sucking his lower lip.
He suddenly entered her with his incredibly hard cock. Nahigit niya ang hininga. May katagalan din nang huli silang nag-make love at nag-adjust siya sa pagpasok nito, pero sandali lang ang discomfort, muling humalili ang kanyang pananabik. God, she’d missed him inside her like this. So thick and hot. So damned delicious she might expire in extreme pleasure.
“Luck, oh honey, I want…please…” she mewed feverishly against his lips.
“God, baby, you feel so good. I’ve missed you..this tight little thing…my love…”
Gripping her waist. He lifted her, her sheath releasing his cock almost at the tip then sunk her back to the hilt.
She came hard with a sharp cry. “Luck! Her sheath spasmed around his hardness like she’d never let him go.
Nanlalambot siyang napahilig sa dibdib nito, ibinaon ang mukha sa balikat nito. She was chasing her breath as her body pulsed with bone-melting bliss. Sa sobrang sarap ng pakiramdam niya, ayaw na yata niyang kumilos.
“Babe…” she heard him murmur.
“Hmmm…” inaantok niyang ungol.
“I need to come, too.”
Napangiti siya. Oo nga naman. How inconsiderate of her. Dahan-dahang umangat ang ulo niya mula sa balikat nito at tinitigan ang mukha nito.
His face was etched in hard planes, his eyes burning with passion. She was winding down from her orgasm now, but she could still feel him thick and throbbing inside her.
“I can’t move. You have to help me,” he said in a pained voice.
Naalala niya ang kalagayan nito. Nakaupo siya sa kandungan nito, and clearly, it was making him feel pain from his still healing injuries.
“Sabi ko na nga kasi eh…” She gently pulled away from him.
His cock jutted up between them, wet and shiny from her juices. Matagal-tagal na rin noong huli niyang makita itong ganito. The past weeks, she had taken care of him like he was a baby, his body still weak and recovering. But now, as she stared at his massive erection, she knew he was almost back to his old self, and it made her feel so happy and grateful.
Lumuhod siya sa paanan nito. His legs opened wider to accommodate her.
She gripped his hardness in her hand. Nahigit nito ang hininga.
Acting purely on instinct, she brought his manhood to her lips and licked the engorged tip, tasting herself on him.
“Uhmmm…” Nahihiya siyang tumingin sa mga mata nito.
He smiled at her tenderly, touching her lips. “That’s how delicious you taste.”
Sa kabila ng lahat ng mga sexual intimacies nila, nag-blush pa rin siya. “You taste better, I think…?”
His eyes melted with all the love he felt for her. Pakiramdamn niya’y isa siyang diyosa sa ganda.
“Suck me, babe.”
LUCKY’S eyes were riveted on her face as she tried to take his length inside her mouth inch by inch, not quite covering all his length. But fuck, it was the hottest thing, to see and feel her baby’s hot mouth loving his cock. He’d never get enough of this.
Halos hindi siya makakilos. He may have prematurely pulled a brace or a stitch or whatever, but the dull pain on his side couldn’t contain the bursts of energy clamoring to escape from his body as she pleasured him.
Sinuklay ng mga daliri niya ang mahabang buhok nito palayo sa mukha nito. Ayaw niyang may makaligtaan siya.
“Kate…babe…”
Her hands and mouth worked in perfect tandem, sucking the upper half of his cock, and pumping the lower half with her hand.
In the few months that they’d been intimate, before shit hit the fan, she was his eager pupil, inquisitive of his body and his needs. She was putting everything she’d learned from him to good use now. Fuck, how had she gotten so good at this?
She rotated her fingers as she moved her face to do a counter-rotating motion with her mouth.
Jesus H….!
His hands tightened on her hair. His balls drew tight. He clenched his belly to stop the flood of release rushing to end his pleasure too soon.
“Shit, babe, where’d you learn that?” he panted.
She grinned coyly while his cock was in her mouth. So damned sexy he nearly came. She let go of his cock with a wet pop and licked her lips. “I watched porn while you were in the ICU, in prep for when we can do this again. I did promise you we’d be doing this a lot once you got better.”
He chuckled. “Seriously…?”
Before she could take him in his mouth again, he held her shoulder and hauled her to her feet again.
“I want to come inside you.”
Umusad siya sa kama at humiga. Smiling like a siren, she climbed on top of him like a feline, sitting astride him.
She took hold of his cock again and raised herself on her knees.
Hinila niya ang laylayan ng damit nito para makita niya ang ginagawa nito. She guided him to her super wet opening.
He held his breath as his cock was slowly swallowed by her pussy again.
Visuals and sensations. Hot, so fucking hot! There would be no lights off whenever they had sex. He wanted to see it all, feel it all.
She mewed in pleasure…“Oh God honey…. You’re soooo big…!”
That made him even harder, if it was still possible. “Only for you, my love. Only for this tight little pussy of yours.”
He held her hips and guided her. She released her weight, fully impaling herself on his cock balls deep.
A perfect fit.
He groaned in animal gratification. “Babe…oh fuck…”
Lumiyad ito, her beautiful breasts hanging out, her long hair spilling over her shoulders. He cupped her breasts, squeezing them together.
Her hands wrapped around his wrists for support and she started moving on top of him, grinding her hips. Alam na alam na nito ang gagawin.
She rode him, her tightness milking his cock deliciously.
She was making these incoherent, sexy as fuck sounds, and he knew she was gunning for her next orgasm by the way her tight little cunt was milking his cock.
His hands fell away from her breasts and gripped her hips, guiding her to ride him faster and deeper.
It was mad, mad pleasure.
“Yeah, that’s right, baby…yes…so good…come with me…Kate…”
Her breasts jiggled as she bounced on him faster.
His cum churned in his balls, ready to erupt.
“Luck, I’m gonna cum…!”
He touched her clit, rubbed it in a steady rhythm as she rode him harder.
She threw her head back, arching her body, giving him another sweet orgasm.
“Yes, baby. Fuck, yes!”
His cum shot out, entering her body in hot, frantic spurts that made him almost black out at the incredible pleasure of it.
He groaned helplessly as he rode the storm of his orgasm and she writhed in her second peak, heightening both their satisfaction.
Breathing hard, they looked in each other’s eyes with dazed vision, their bodies pulsing wildly in the aftermath of their passion.
“We’d definitely do more of this,” she murmured in a lethargic voice.
He grinned like a smug fuck and squeezed the upper cheeks of her ass.
Ahh, how did he get so fucking lucky?
KATE languished in blissful contentment in the arms of the man she loved. NakAhiga sila pareho sa kama. Kalmante na ang kanilang mga katawan, at normal na ang tibok ng kanilang mga puso.
Himalang wala pa namang naghahanap sa kanila na nurse o doctor. O baka alam ng mga itong nagkulong sila sa isang silid at ayaw maistorbo. Hindi naman na delikado ang kalagayan ni Lucky. He was very much on his way to full recovery.
Nakahiga siya sa tabi nito, nakatigilid paharap dito. He was on his back, but his head was turned towards her. Their hands were intertwined. Hindi pa siya pwedeng humiga sa bisig nito o dumagan dito dahil naghihilom pa ang mga nabaling ribs nito.
“Kate?” he murmured softly.
“Hmm?”
“When you said before…na natatakot ka sa akin…” His voice trailed off.
She sensed the worry in his voice. Hinaplos niya ang dibdib nito. “Noon ’yon, love. But fate gave me something to be more scared about. My former fears are insignificant now after everything that happened.”
He tipped her face so that she would look at him. “Pero talagang natakot ka sa akin noon?”
She winced a little. and shrugged. “Well…You were so intense before. Yeah, medyo natakot ako, nasakal, na-overwhelm.”
He really looked anxious now. “Pero alam mo namang mahal na mahal kita noon pa, ’di ba? That I would never deliberately hurt you?”
“Yeah, I knew you loved me then, pero antagal kasi nating super close friends lang tapos naging sexually intimate tayong bigla. ’Yong transition ng feelings ko for you, nakakalito, nakakatakot. Parang hindi ko ma-trust ang sarili ko sa nararamdaman ko for you. Feeling ko, ang babaw ko ring magmahal… kay Nico. And yet, what I felt for you was inexplicably intense after we became intimate, too. Alam mo ’yong parang may sumabog sa heart ko. Ganun. So, I guess pareho lang tayong intense.”
Ngumiti ito, hinaplos ang mukha niya. “Hindi ka na takot sa akin ngayon?”
Umiling siya. “Intense ka pa rin naman ngayon, but the difference is, hindi na ako takot magmahal ulit ngayon. Hindi na ako takot na muling magtiwala. Hindi na ako takot sa intensity ng feelings ko sa ’yo at sa feelings mo sa akin. When I almost lost you, I realized, ang iksi lang ng buhay para mabuhay sa takot at kawalang tiwala.”
He nodded solemnly. “But you were right to fear me then, too.”
Kumunot ang noo niya. “Yeah?”
“Inaamin ko, sobra akong na-insecure kay Nico noon. Ilang taon akong lihim na nagtiis, naghintay, halos mawalan na ng pag-asang maging tayo, at nang sa wakas ay nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na mabaling sa akin ang pagmamahal mo, nataranta akong parang gago. Takot na takot akong mawala ’yong chance ko. And in my desperation to bind you to me in any way I could, I did things that made you lose your trust in me. Imbes na makalaya ka sa mga alaala ni Nico, lalo kitang ikinulong by subjecting you to the same ordeal you suffered with him, the loss of your freedom and choice. I’m so sorry, angel. Naging sakim ako sa pagmamahal ko sa ’yo.”
Napakurap siya rito, malamlam na napangiti. Without all the pride and fears, napakadali palang mag-express ng pagmamahal nila sa isa’t isa.
“Wow. Listen to us. We’re finally having a real conversation. A two-way exchange of no-bullshit.”
Natawa ito. “Hindi naman ako nang-BS sa ’yo kahit kelan. Napraning lang ako. Magkaiba ’yon.”
“I know. But this is the first time that we’re talking to each other without all the baggage of the past, and I love it, Luck.” Sumiksik siya sa tagiliran nito, idinikit ang mukha sa balikat nito, sinamyo ang amoy ng balat nito. His scent was so comforting. Kahit alam niyang mahina pa ito physically, she could feel his inner strength. She felt safe. Loved. Truly loved.
“Si Nico…” he started again, his tone uncertain.
Iniangat niya ang sarili paupo sa tabi nito upang magkatinginan sila nang maayos. She touched his face, traced his lips with her fingertips.
“Nico belongs in the past, my love. Minahal ko siya, pero minahal din kita. At alam ko na ngayon, mas minahal kita kesa sa kanya noon. At mahal na mahal kita ngayon. Ikaw na lang at wala nang iba. You were my best friend then, but now, you are my soulmate. My present and my future. My everything.”
He smiled, his eyes going moist. “Do you think…do you think you’d want to marry me someday soon?”
Her heart swelled with overflowing joy. “Hmm.” Kunwari ay nag-isip siya.
“Please, don’t turn down my 100th marriage proposal. Baka hindi kayanin ng ribs ko.”
Natawa siya nang malakas at pinisil ang ilong nito.
Pero seryoso ito. “I promise to be less needy, possessive and greedy for your time and attention,” sabi pa nito.
Awww. “I doubt that will happen.”
He sighed. “I can’t help it, babe. I’ve wanted you for years, and I don’t think l’ll ever get enough of you.”
Ah, what woman could say no to that? Certainly not her who couldn’t imagine life without him now. “If you put it that way…Okay, ask me properly now.”
Tinitigan siya nito nang matiim, puno ng emosyon. Ginagap nito ang mga kamay niya at dinala sa mga labi nito, mabining hinalikan. “Will you make me the luckiest man on the planet, and marry me, Kate Deleste, the love of my life?”
Gosh, she wanted to cry. With joy. Nothing but joy from now on.
“Yes.”
His smile lit up her entire universe, and she just knew in her heart of hearts with absolute certainty, like the sun, he was at the center of her universe, and she in hers.
She bent her head and kissed his lips gently. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
Three months later…
IT WAS their wedding day.
His bride was walking down the aisle toward him at the altar. Her beauty was beyond words. He still couldn’t believe this day finally came.
Nang tuluyan na siyang naka-recover mula sa aksidenteng kinasangkutan, itinakda nila ni Kate ang kanilang kasal. Hindi na nila pinatagal pa. Hindi naman na sila naghiwalay pa nang makauwi siya galing sa ospital. Ayaw na siyang iwanang mag-isa ni Kate at tumira na ito sa penthouse niya. Wala namang naging objections ang mga magulang nito.
Kate had requested her friends and family to prepare their wedding. Nag-iingat ito at ayaw na ma-stress sa first trimester ng pagbubuntis nito. All she did was choose her dress and arrive at their wedding, which was exactly what he wanted, too.
They’d spent most of the past few months with each other, secluded in the privacy of his penthouse, rarely going out together. Itinalaga na ni Kate kay Ayna ang pamamalakad sa boutiques nito habang buntis ito. Maingat ito sa katawan. Siya naman ay humirang ng CFO para patakbuhin ang mga hotels niya. His other company, Stealth Unlimited, was in good hands with Jett at the helm.
He was just a happily contented man the past months as he completely recovered from his injuries. Kate took good care of him like she was already his wife, and he couldn’t ask for anything more. Well, except that God would provide them with healthy children in the near future. Baby number one was on the way.
Wala silang naging engagement party. Diretso kasal sila. No press releases. He and Kate both agreed they were both past those fancy things. Hindi nila kailangan ang mga ganoong bagay para ipangalandakan sa publiko ang pagmamahalan nila. They owed nobody any explanation.
This wedding was just a formality in deference to their loved ones, lalo na sa kanilang mga magulang.
That day when he first saw Kate, he knew she was the love of his life. It took quite a complicated journey for her to realize she belonged to him, too, but looking back now, he had no regrets. Things happened the way they did, to lead them both to each other, where they truly belonged.
As he stared at his bride walking closer and closer, he had never felt the rightness of time and place for their union.
Kate finally reached the foot of the altar. Bumaba siya sa steps para salubungin ito at tanggapin mula sa ama nito. The old man was teary-eyed as he delivered his only daughter to his care. He knew what it took for the man to do this. Kate was Tito Anton’s little princess, his only daughter. But Kate was his queen now, his one and only, too, and he would take care of her, protect her and the family they’d build together with his own life.
“Thank you…Dad,” medyo emosyonal na sabi niya sa ama ni Kate.
Tumango lang ito, ngunit nasa ngiti nito ang tuwa at pagtanggap sa kanya bilang bagong anak nito.
Niyakap ni Kate ang ama bago humawak sa kamay niya.
Her smile was radiant behind her veil. His chest clenched with overflowing joy, his eyes going moist as his emotions almost overwhelmed him.
“Hi,” she whispered.
“Hey, you,” he replied as he squeezed her hand.
They needed no more words. They were both at the right place at the right time with the right people. Everything was perfect.
Sabay nilang hinarap ang pari na magkakasal sa kanila. They were ready for their future.
Lumipas ang seremonya na parang panaginip. Napakagandang panaginip. Nagpalitan sila ng kanilang sacred vows.
Sa wakas ay narinig nila ang opisyal na deklarasyon ng pari.
“…I now pronounce you man and wife.”
Applause erupted inside the church.
“Lucky, you may now kiss your bride,” nakangiting sabi ng pari.
Hinawi niya ang malambot na belo ni Kate. Tinitigan niya nang buong pagmamahgal ang bagong asawa, ang babaing tangi niyang minahal sa tanang buhay niya.
He framed her lovely face in his palms. “Hello, Mrs. de Angelo.”
“Kiss me already, husband.”
Buong pagmamahal na nilasap nila ang kanilang unang halik bilang mag-asawa.
Muling umugong ang palakpakan sa paligid at maging paswitan, malamang galing sa grupo ng barkada niyang in full attendance sa araw na ito. Umaalingawngaw naman sa background ang malamyos na boses ng kanyang ina habang kinakanta ang bersiyon nito ng paboritong kanta ni Kate.
“As endless as forever, our love will stay together…you’re all I need to be with forevermore…”
IT WAS a match made in heaven.
And he was a bastard burning in hell.
A wedding was the last thing Nico wanted to witness right now, but this particular wedding he couldn’t afford to miss. At the back pew of the church, he silently watched the idyllic scene.
Alam niyang maraming nakatingin sa kanya. They were all wondering what on earth he was doing here, of all places. He abhorred gossip and shied away from public attention as much as possible, but on a very important occasion like this, he could make an exception. He owed it to Kate.
Hindi siya expressive na tao. Bihira siyang magpakita ng emosyon. He hoped his bloody heart was not draped all over his fucking sleeve right now for everyone to feast on, because God, he was in the fucking pits.
As he calmly sat there trying to act like the Golden Boy they all superficially knew, he was in fact a mass of rioting feelings inside. He didn’t know he was capable of contrasting emotions like this – very happy for Kate it was making him literally breathless, and totally devastated, he didn’t know how to move on from here.
Tumayo siya at nilapitan ang bagong kasal.
Nagliwanag ang mukha ni Kate nang makita siya.
“Nic!” she exclaimed in delight, a picture of classic beauty in her wedding gown. Napakagandang bride.
Life was so ironic. Several months ago, Kate was wearing a wedding gown for him. She was blushing sweetly and gave him the most loving smile just before he told her that he couldn’t marry her, after all. He saw the light disappear from her beautiful eyes, a sight he wouldn’t ever want to witness again. Guilt was killing him just thinking about it.
There was so much he had given up on that fateful day. The only thing that made him keep his strength as he walked away from Kate was the thought that a person was waiting for him somewhere. This person was everything to him, the love of his life. She was the light in his suddenly very dark existence, his sanctuary amidst the fiercest storm that was ravaging his entire life in a mad swirl of wreckage.
He had lost everything.
No, not everything. She was there. Waiting for him. The light at the end of the tunnel. And he followed the turbulent path that led to her. Never mind the hatred of the people that he betrayed in his quest for true love. It was worth it, he’d told himself repeatedly to strengthen his resolve.
He was a broken man that day, disowned by his own father, hated by his closest friends, but she would be there, waiting for him with open arms, and everything would be all right. She would be his savior in the wake of his banishment from the world he had painstakingly built but turned away from, in the name of love.
But in the end, she had been his ultimate destruction, the last mighty blow that sent the whole universe crashing down on top of him.
Masayang lumapit si Kate sa kanya. Naninikip ang dibdib niya na nasaktan niya ang babaing ito. But her eyes were dancing now, her face aglow with happiness. Bahagyang naibsan ang guilt niya. She deserved a beautiful wedding, but he was not the right groom for her. Some other man perfectly deserved Kate than he ever would in a million years.
And it was meant to be.
Niyakap siya ni Kate. It was a miracle that she was even smiling at him again, much less hugging him. He’d thought that she would hate him forever, but Kate had a compassionate and forgiving heart. He did not deserve even her friendship, but he was blessed in this department despite what he’d done.
“I’m so glad you could come, Nic.”
Pinilit niyang ngumiti. He’d missed her warmth, her friendship. Kate, if not the perfect girlfriend, was a loving, loyal friend. Even after everything that happened, she had proven her strength of character. He, on the other hand was a terrible, terrible judge of character.
He would always treasure Kate’s friendship. “Of course, I couldn’t possibly miss this. Congratulations, Kate. I’m so happy for you.”
Thank you, Nic,“ she replied softly, her eyes going misty.
“Don’t make me cry,” he teased her.
She laughed, the melodious sound momentarily giving him reprieve from his loneliness.
He glanced at the man who slowly stepped in to join them. The groom had the courtesy to give him and Kate a bit of privacy before joining them.
“Luck, indeed, you’re the luckiest man.” He extended his hand towards Lucky.
“Thank you, Nic.”
They gripped each other’s hands warmly. Nakita niya ang sinseridad sa mga mata ni Lucky. Hindi man sila naging close noon sa Lothario, naramdaman niyang nagbago na ang pakikitungo nito sa kanya ngayon. Lucky no longer hated him. It was more than he could ever ask for.
Lucky was the right man for Kate. She was in great hands now.
Hinapit nito si Kate sa baywang. “Thanks for coming, Nic.”
“It’s my pleasure. I owe you, guys.”
“How are you, Nic?” tanong ni Kate, concern in her eyes.
“I’m good. Thanks for asking.”
He hoped he sounded convincing. God, where the hell was the poker face he had mastered to an art form when he badly needed it? He was inches from spilling his bloody guts all over them. He didn’t want to dampen their joy by giving them the smallest hint of how fucking miserable he really was.
Words seemed to fail them for a moment. It wasn’t awkward. There were just no proper words to express what they felt inside. The events that transpired between them a few months ago were still fresh in their memories, and yet the wound he had inflicted on them seemed to have healed.
Unlike his own wounds.
Yumakap si Kate kay Lucky. Her husband bent his head and tenderly kissed his bride on the lips.
They became oblivious to his presence, so lost in their love for each other.
Ni hindi namalayan ng mga ito na lumakad na siya palayo. Palayo sa masayang lugar na iyon, at papunta sa buhay na naghihintay sa kanya.
A life of nothingness.
Sa labas ng simbahan ay tumingala siya sa kalangitan. He could see stars, winking at him, as if taunting him, a rare sight at night in this city always ablaze with man-made luminescence. It was beautiful, as beautiful as the love he had witnessed inside the church. A stark contrast to the ugliness reigning inside of him.
Yeah, he had it all coming. Karma was a major bitch when it was payback time. Indeed, the adage was true. He was reaping karma in spades.
Napakarami niyang mga taong sinaktan. Kate, the woman who had loved him despite his shortcomings, and there were many. His parents, who had adored him from the cradle and who had given him all the privileges fit for a prince. Kate’s parents who had trusted and treated him as their own son. DL, his good friend and practically his brother, but he lost that valuable friendship, too. He remembered DL’s hatred as he punched and kicked him one night in a restaurant months ago. Hindi siya lumaban. Kulang pa iyon bilang kabayaran sa kahihiyang idinulot niya sa pamilya Deleste.
He was now paying for his sins with every painful breath that he took. He didn’t know how long he’d be paying. Maybe forever.
All for what? All for a two-bit whore.
The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, but it was his reality now, and there was no escaping it.
Huminga siya nang malalim at lumakad papunta sa kotseng naghihintay sa kanya. One of his bodyguards opened the door for him. He climbed in.
Seconds later, the car was moving away from the church. It was just as well that this happened here. This was a fitting end to a chapter in his life. A chapter he wouldn’t revisit.
Ever.
This was closure.
T H E E N D
MY DEAR READERS
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THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT.
XOXO
EVIE
