🧸Story Info🧸

HELLO e

veryone!! 🤪

Welcome to my new MPREG story. I’ve had this idea for a while, and I’m excited to finally bring it to life.

PLEASE NOTE:

ANY PICTURES OF ADULTS OR CHILDREN ARE RANDOMLY SELECTED FROM CHILD ACTOR/MODEL PAGES ON PINTEREST.

This story will be written in third-person POV. However, I will tell the story more from Louis’ side of events.

There will be TWO timelines in this story (one time jump, if that makes it easier). As usual, I will let you know when the time jump happens. You will understand when you read. 😊

Below are pictures of how I envision the characters at the present time.

LOUIS 24

HARRY 25

🚨

PLOT DESCRIPTION

:

🚨

Becoming pregnant after a one-night stand was not in Louis’ diary of things to accomplish. The surprise pregnancy set Louis on a path to mature very quickly, discarding the lifestyle he was once used to. With no way of contacting the other father, Louis set aside his own dreams to commit to a full-time job that fate had led him towards…parenthood.

Louis Tomlinson was happy and content living his life as a single parent to his two-year-old son, Saxon. That was until the day the little boy vanished without a trace.

This is a tale of a missing child.

Police reports, countless interviews, TV pleas, sleepless nights, and desperation are the only things about to take over Louis’ world. All of that, and Harry Styles.

What happens when Harry, a famous reality star, sees the little lad’s face on TV and is shocked to watch a tiny replica of himself as a child staring back at him… especially when he is pretty sure he doesn’t have any children.

Sometimes it takes something tragic to reconnect with an old flame, but will the search for the little boy stand in the way of a love that was destined to blossom?

Will Saxon ever be found? How will Louis cope if life doesn’t allow him the happy ending he has prayed for? And how will Harry react to a child he knew nothing about?

Welcome to

“MISSING:

The boy who disappeared.“

🚨🚨🚨🚨  

A/N

Please let me know what you think of the storyline. If you’re enjoying the story as we go along always remember to please like and comment as it helps motivate me to continue. 😊

I’m excited to start!

However, please keep in mind that I have a life and family outside of Wattpad. I will try my best to update as quickly as I can, but sometimes other daily requirements take up my time.

So, please be patient with me. I appreciate each and every one of you and will update whenever I can.

As I have mentioned before, I am not a professional writer. Therefore, there may be plot holes, grammar mistakes, or a lack of editing. If you don’t think you can handle these little hiccups, then please do not read.

Now that, that’s out of the way, I truly hope you enjoy this story.

💙💚

Chapter 1- Celebratory Conception

A/N

Hello again!

Welcome to my new fic.

I’m really excited.

This chapter really is just giving the back story of how it all started.

The real storyline begins next chapter.

Please as

usual, if you

are enjoy

the

story please

give it a like. Please feel free to leave comments. Feedback is always

appreciated .

Also, a massive thank you to my friend and beta tracey ❤️

💙💚

🌻🌻🌻

’Our souls dance while searching for love, to the tune of our bodies pinning for sinful lust.

The seed of lust can never

bear

the fruit of love, but sometimes, the act of ‘lust’ can bring forth your soulmate.’

February 13th, 2021

The last thing on Louis’ mind was getting shit-faced at the local bar, but his best mate Oli, who he had known since pre-school, was determined to coax him out of the house. Oli could be a determined bastard when he really put his mind to it, and Louis  had finally had enough of his nagging, resulting in reluctantly agreeing to a night out.

For weeks now, Louis had secluded himself within the confines of his own four walls, overwhelmed by exhaustion, frustration, and a profound sense of heartbreak. After endless pints of ice cream, marathons of rom coms that often concluded with dejective tears, there was no denying that Oli is relieved at finally having convinced Louis to step out and indulge in some much-needed fresh air.

“Nope, im not wearing these Oli, I can hardly breathe, and my balls are fucking squashed to smithereens.” Louis complained.

Amid Oli’s laughter, Louis swiftly sheds the once-confidence-sapping skinny jeans, discarding them as relics of the past. He stretches across the bed, grasping at his gray track pants, embracing them as a symbol of newfound comfort and self-assuredness.

Oli had been hoping he could coax Louis out so he could unwind tonight. Maybe dress up a little, see who’s around, get back on his game, and hopefully, start to feel good in his own skin again. However, as he observed Louis donning his everyday attire, Oli was torn between being disheartened that his friend wasn’t putting any effort in, but also ecstatic that he was coming out at all. Though his choice of outfits made him scrunch up his nose because he believed his friend could do better, he made sure to express his appreciation and praise for Louis’ effort, so that he understood how much it meant to him.

“You look great, Lewis. I’m truly proud of you, you know. Now, let’s celebrate your newfound freedom and go and get smashed.”

Oli recognized instantly that these were the words Louis needed to hear, and a broad yet heartfelt smile spread quickly across his face.

“ You’re lucky that I love you, otherwise I would kick your ass for calling me that.“ Louis replied with a grin.

From the moment they met at the tender age of seven, Oli had struggled to pronounce Louis’ name correctly. His speech delay issues made it difficult to form the right sounds, leaving him tripping over the syllables, much to Louis’ amusement.

But Oli was nothing if not determined. He threw himself wholeheartedly into speech therapy, determined to master the intricacies of his friend’s name. After months of hard work and effort, he finally succeeded, he could now articulate it with perfect clarity.

True to his mischievous nature, Oli decided to play a little game. He began referring to Louis as “Lewis.” adding an extra ‘s’ to his name with a sly wink each time he said it. Though Louis found it exasperating at first, he couldn’t help but chuckle at his best friend’s antics. Before long, “Lewis” had become a well-established nickname, a source of endless amusement between the two of them. Years passed, but the name continued to stick, becoming a special emblem of their unbreakable bond. As they grew up and experienced life’s ups and downs together, the name grew with them, embodying all the love, laughter, and unforgettable moments they shared.

To Oli, Louis will always be “ Lewis.“ And for Louis, it’s a source of comfort, a symbol of the friendship that has stood the test of time.

“ You really think I look alright?“ Louis asked hesitantly, insecurity flooding his mind.

The question that Louis voiced sliced through Oli’s heart like a dagger, the painful truth seeping in. It served as a stark reminder that his dear friend was still ensnared in the suffocating fog of self-doubt and self-blame, all of which had been instilled by his ex-boyfriend, Matt. Oli harboured a profound loathing for Matt, a seething fury that burned hotter than a thousand suns. In his eyes, Matt was a malevolent force, an evil spirit who had stripped him of his happiness and robbed him of his self-worth, subjecting him to a relentless cycle of manipulative gaslighting.

Matt had exerted control over every facet of Louis’ life. From dictating what he ate, to deciding whom he could associate with, he was a menacing, dominant figure, with sadistic tendencies. Matt had been the partner from hell, but in the beginning, Louis struggled to recognize his true nature, as is generally the case in these types of relationships. Radiating kindness and an enviable desire to help, Louis had been quick to see the good in Matt. In the beginning, there had indeed been moments of genuine care. Matt had initially seemed to love Louis deeply, going out of his way to make him happy. However, over time, this promising start took on a dark turn, descending rapidly and dangerously. Over time it was heartbreaking to see Louis’ light as it dimmed, before eventually going out completely.

Oli sighed deeply, his heart heavy with the memory. He knew that the scars of that time still ran deep in Louis. Matt had not only robbed him of his financial security but had also eroded his confidence and self-esteem. It was clear to Oli that what Matt had systemically destroyed was going to take time to rebuild, and he was determined that he’d not fail his friend. He would be by his side as he rebuilt his self-confidence brick by painful brick until that light was back in his eyes and he had returned to that vibrant friend that he loved and grew up with once again.

“You don’t look ‘alright’.” Oli spoke, his voice bearing a gentle yet firm tone. “You look amazing, Louis. Quit diminishing yourself for someone who never truly appreciated you.”

Louis’ eyes widened in astonishment, as something shifted in his gaze, a sparkle of hope flickering to life. Oli understood that it might not be a monumental change, but he aspired for it to sow the seeds of self-confidence in Louis’ mind. Perhaps today marked just a modest stride taken together, but at least it signified meaningful progress.

Louis’ descent into hell had begun when he lost his job and discovered a bank account devoid of funds. It was then that he had walked in on Matt in their bed, slamming it into another man, in an act of infidelity that sent Louis over the edge. Despite the agony of betrayal, convincing Louis to leave the relationship was still a difficult task for Oli.

Years of mental manipulation had convinced Louis that he was undeserving of anything better, and that Matt would eventually change, because he promised he’d change, and Louis always believed him. But Oli knew better; he was determined to show Louis that he was worthy of love and respect, and that what Matt gave him was neither of those things. It was only after much persuasion that Oli’s determination won out and he finally convinced Louis to leave.

Many months had elapsed since that dreadful evening, and Louis had embarked on a gradual yet steady journey to reclaim his life. With Oli’s unwavering support, he had successfully begun to reassemble the shattered fragments of his self-worth and his lost sense of purpose. While the path to recovery was fraught with daunting challenges and unforeseen detours, Louis had managed to regain a remarkable amount of his self-assuredness and self-identity.

As they got ready to head out for a night of revelry, Oli couldn’t resist lightly teasing his friend.

“You look that great Lewis that, Who knows, you might meet the love of your life tonight.” Oli quipped, hoping to lighten the mood.

Louis scoffed at the statement, his heart still aching from the scars of Matt’s emotional abuse.

“I don’t have that type of luck, Oliver. You know that.” Louis responded, his gaze flickering with doubt.

Oli’s expression turned stony as he pulled his friend up short. “Whoa, hold up. Don’t call me that, like ever.”

Louis raised his eyebrows, trying to clarify his point, and Oli was quick to retract his previous sentence. “Yeah, fair point, Lewis. Right, you ready to go?”

Louis raised his eyebrows, surprise lighting up his features at the sudden intensity in Oli’s words. Sensing the need to clarify his previous point more, Oli softened his tone and continued.

“Louis, Matt might have convinced you that you were small minded and insignificant, but that’s not who you are. You are a beautiful, intelligent, and strong individual with a heart of gold. Don’t let his lies and manipulative behavior define who you are.” Oli said firmly.

Louis looked at Oli, his heart swelling with gratitude. Sometimes he still struggled to believe that he was worthy of love and respect, but in moments like this, he knew that he had a friend who would always be there for him, reminding him of his inherent worth. With a renewed sense of confidence and self-belief blossoming in his heart, they set out into the night, ready to create new memories and experiences.

“Oh god, don’t get soppy on me just yet, I need a beer or two first.” Louis quipped with a playful grin.

As Louis gave his hair one final adjustment, struggling not to suffocate from the excess cologne Oli had generously applied, he glanced at the clock and was momentarily startled by the hour. The entire ordeal of going out had become such a rarity in his life that he had scarcely spared a thought to the time of day.

“Um…it’s only five pm. Any particular reason for the early departure?” Louis inquired with a bemused expression.

Looking at Oli’s countenance and the way his lips curved alarmed Louis. There seemed to be a mixture of smugness and secrecy behind it, and he couldn’t help feeling a little excited yet nervous.

“What are you up to, Mr. Wright?” Louis inquired.

“Just you wait and see, Mr. Tomlinson.” Oli replied with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Louis’ intuition was spot on, as they drove past their usual go-to-pub. Three times Louis had asked where they were going, and three times Oli just smiled and remained silent. It wasn’t until they reached a certain part of town minutes later that Louis began to panic when Oli pulled over and parked the car.

“What the hell are we doing here?” Louis asked.

With no reason to delay the answer any longer, Oli spread open his fingers, displaying the best jazz hands Louis had ever seen.

“Ta-daa!”

“Surprised” didn’t quite capture the complex mix of emotions that churned within Louis at this moment. Confusion weighed heavily on him, and a subtle undercurrent of anxiety simmered just beneath the surface. His heart raced, not from anticipation, but from an unsettling uncertainty that had taken hold of him.

“Shit, what the fuck are we doing here at the train station? Oli, I swear to god, this isn’t what I signed up for.“Louis exclaimed.

Oli knew planning this trip was a risk, but he also knew his best friend well enough to see that he was curious and intrigued.

“Hey, I’ve been having trouble trying to get you to do anything with me for months, so go ahead and sue me that when you finally agreed to come out, I wanted to make the most of it.”

Although this night had taken an unexpected turn, Louis praised the gods above for having been granted a friend who cared for him so deeply. Up until now, Oli had been the only person Louis could rely on and trust wholeheartedly. Letting out a loud sigh, Louis took the opportunity to look around as Oli fumbled in his pockets trying to retrieve something.

Picking up on the sudden change in Louis’ demeanor, Oli offered him an apologetic smile, realizing he had been too blunt in his assessment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pile on the pressure. I just want you to know that I believe in you and I always will. I just wanted to see you smile again.”

Louis’ eyes locked with Oli’s, and in that moment, they connected almost telepathically. A profound sense of mutual understanding passed between them, and Louis felt his determination growing with every passing second.

As Oli continued to search his pockets, Louis caught a glimpse of what seemed like paper in his hands. At first, he was puzzled by the creases on the paper, but as he read the text on it, his confusion turned into pure wonder.

He looked to his friend, wide eyed in disbelief, for the place they were headed to was not where he had expected. Louis’ face was now a canvas of mixed emotions, each one more intense than the last.

“London!?” Louis exclaimed, his voice a mix of shock and excitement.

Oli wore his wide grin, fully aware of the impending backlash, and he didn’t have to wait long. Louis began listing a multitude of reasons as to why this was a seemingly terrible idea.

“ What were you thinking? That is like a two hour ride, I have no money to pay for this trip and before you even say it, im not allowing you to just pay for it all.“ Louis ranted.

Oli just pretends to listen, his smile unwavering, because he had already prepared his responses in advance.

“ Look, remember at Christmas time when I couldn’t afford to buy you anything and then I asked you not to buy me anything in return because I felt bad. And even though you agreed not to, you went and brought me one anyway. Well guess what, I’m making up for it now. This is your Christmas present then, so there is no need to repay me.“

Even though Louis laughs as he remembers that day like it was yesterday, he still thinks this is all sounding ridiculous.

“ This is fucking crazy, it’s already 5.27pm now, it’s going to be roughly 7.45pm by the time we arrive. Let’s say we spend what, three hours out drinking, it’s going to be past midnight by the time we get back to Doncaster.“

Oli’s face betrayed him, incapable of maintaining a poker face, and he kept on gazing at Louis with a persistent, albeit slightly nervous, smile. His concern lingered in the background, fearing that Louis might have a last-minute change of heart.

“Yeah ah, we aint coming back tonight, my friend.” Oli revealed.

“I always knew that red hair of yours was frying your brain, are you crazy? Are you out of your fucking mind? Neither of us have spare clothes, you idiot.” Louis retorted with a mix of amusement and disbelief.

Oli laughs and moves closer, clutching at his biceps.

“Lewis, listen to me.” Oli says. “If you feel the need to change your clothes overnight, I will buy you something. Otherwise, it’s only one night. What do the teeny boppers say these days? Um yeah, YOLO, that’s it, YOLO!”

Louis scrunches his nose. “What the hell is a yolo?”

Oli shakes his head as he laughs. “It stands for ‘You Only Live Once’. Well, I think that’s what the kids used to say, you know what, I don’t think that’s an ‘in thing’ anymore. Forget I said that.”

Louis runs his hands down his face and fixes his fringe while both he and Oli laugh at his cluelessness on teen lingo.

“Remind me again why I am friends with you?” Louis quipped with a playful grin.

Turning back around from locking up his car, Oli displays a silly little happy dance.

“Because I’m spontaneous, a great drinking partner, a wonderful singer, and a friend who has stood by you for years. Not too much clearly, but I’m a great cook, that I will admit. I always make sure you are fed and-”

“Alright, alright, I get it.” Louis begrudgingly responds.

“Good, now let’s go before we miss our ride.” Oli replied, ready to embark on their adventure.

Funny enough, as the train moved forward and the cold air hit his body, Louis pulled his hands into the ends of his jumper as he looked out the window into the darkness. Going past the “You are leaving Doncaster, please come back again” sign, he felt something he hadn’t experienced in a long time.

He felt a sense of freedom .

🌻

When they reach their hotel room that Oli had booked online while on the train ride over, Louis is already struggling to keep his eyes open. The momentum for having a big night out is quickly diminishing.

“Do we have to go out? I mean, I’m really not in the mood for socializing anymore, plus, I’m so ready for bed.” Louis mumbled.

Oli’s eyes widened, finding it hard to believe what he was hearing. “Since when did you turn into a fifty-year-old grandpa, for heaven’s sake, Louis. It’s only just past nine.”

Louis lifts his head off the pillow, now more than ever wishing they could have afforded something better, something a little more comfortable.

The hotel room is small and cramped, with just enough space for the essentials. The walls are painted a dull shade of beige, and the carpet is a faded brown. The curtains are made of cheap, thin material barely enough to block out the light from the street outside.

The two side-by-side single beds contain a thin mattress and scratchy sheets. There’s a small nightstand next to them, with lamps that cast a dim, yellow glow. The pillows are lumpy and uncomfortable, and there’s an old woollen blanket on the bed’s edge that has seen better days.

There’s a small desk in the corner of the room, with a wooden chair that creaks when you sit on it. The desk is cluttered with a few brochures and a notepad with a pen. There’s a small TV mounted on the wall with a few channels that sporadically flick in and out of the signal.

The bathroom is tiny, with just enough space for a shower, toilet, and sink. The tiles are a dull white, with a few cracks and stains. The showerhead is old and rusty, and the water pressure is weak. There’s a small bar of soap and a single towel, both rough to the touch.

Overall, the room is not much to look at, but it’s clean and functional. It’s certainly not luxurious, but it’s enough to get by for a night or two.

Louis is realizing that being holed up in this room isn’t as appealing as enjoying the nightlife. “Fine, let’s go for a walk, but how about instead of hitting a pub or nightclub, we find a corner store and grab some beers. Take a walk around, see what type of nightlife there is here, if any.” He suggested.

He hears Oli groan as he isn’t too fond of the idea, but he will take whatever he can get, knowing it’s lucky enough that Louis even agreed to come in the first place.

“Alright, fine. But I’m getting some snacks too. Are you hungry? Come on, let’s go. I’m craving sushi.” Oli said.

Louis made a face at the thought. “Ew.”

🌻

Louis and Oli were walking around the streets of London, the sound of their footsteps echoing in the quiet night as they walked a side street that was not so busy. They were surrounded by the soft glow of streetlights and the occasional flicker of neon signs. The air was cool and crisp, with a slight breeze that made the leaves rustle in the trees.

They crossed the road, hands in pockets as they approached the off-licence, its windows filled with bottles of all shapes and sizes. The old-style doorbell chimed as they entered, the smell of alcohol hitting them as soon as they stepped through the door.

The shop is dimly lit, with just enough light to see where you’re going. The shelves are stacked high with bottles of various sizes, from cheap beer to top-shelf whiskey. The air is thick with the smell of alcohol, mixed with a hint of stale cigarette smoke.

There are only two other people in the shop, both men in their 30s, he guesses. One is at the counter, buying a case of beer, while the other is browsing the shelves, looking for something to drink. Upon closer inspection, this lad doesn’t look older than himself. In fact, he is rather good-looking.

They browse through the aisles, Oli wasting so much time being indecisive on what he wants. Louis points out bottles of their favourite drinks, but Oli keeps changing his mind.

“Look, while you stand there and make up your mind, I’m heading over there. I already know what I want.” Louis declared, heading towards the section with his preferred beverage.

Louis’ eyes scan the shelves for what he’s after. He’s looking for Somerset cider, a drink he’s been craving for weeks. He knows it’s not the most popular brand, so he starts at the back of the store, searching the aisles for it.

He walks past shelves of beer, whiskey, and wine, his eyes scanning the labels for what he is after. He’s starting to get frustrated, but he knows he can’t give up, he’s come too far to leave empty-handed.

Finally, he spots it. The bottles are placed on the very top shelf. He reaches up, trying to grab it, his fingers close but not close enough.

“Fuckin’ hell.” he murmurs to himself.

Having trouble reaching up the shelf, with his arms not quite long enough to obtain it, he looks around, rather embarrassed. That’s when he sees him. He is tall and lean, with dark hair that falls in messy curls around his face. His green eyes sparkle in the dim light, and Louis can’t help but feel drawn to him.

“I am way too proud to admit this, and I’m probably already red as a beetroot, but um, I can’t reach what I’m after. Is there any chance you could please help me out, Mr. Long Legs?” Louis asked with a nervous yet charming smile.

The man stares back at him with an intense glare before his face suddenly softens, sporting a devious grin.

“Well, I’m glad these legs can come in useful for something other than being clumsy. Hi, I’m Harry.”

“Louis.” He giggled back.

They extend their hands as they introduce themselves, their voices low and hushed. They flirt openly, their words laced with playful banter. Louis feels his heart race as Harry smiles at him, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Blue meets green as they examine each other closely, both trying to determine where the other stands.

“You, uh, seem to have a big night ahead of you, don’t you?” Louis observed, nodding toward Harry’s basket, which held three bottles of vodka and two packets of flavoured nuts.

Harry chuckled softly. “Oh, not at all. Just a quiet night by myself. You know, drowning my sorrows. Oops, that’s probably too much information for someone I just met. No idea why I said that. Let’s just say it’s been a pretty tough week.” he replied, his smile tinged with a hint of self-deprecation.

Louis was taken aback, feeling a sharp twinge in his chest upon hearing those words from a seemingly cheerful and impeccably dressed guy. You’d never guess he was wrestling with his own inner demons. Harry’s candid admission resonated with Louis, especially because he knew the anguish of enduring not just a bad week, but bad months.

“Nope, that’s not happening. You can’t be alone tonight. There will be no wallowing in self-pity for my new friend. Besides, I’m celebrating tonight - freedom and new beginnings. So, come with us.” Louis insisted, surprising not only Harry but also himself with the sudden blatant invitation. He couldn’t help but wonder, ’ What the fuck was that all about? he thought to himself.

“I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I assumed you’d like that idea. I could be some kind of serial killer for all you-.”

Harry interrupted with a wry grin, “Sure, I have nothing better to do. What are you celebrating? You know what? I don’t even care. As long as I can start on this alcohol soon, I’ll be happy.”

As Louis stands there looking frazzled at Harry’s response, it’s only now that Harry reaches up to collect the cider, handing it over to him.

“Never tried cider before. I normally only drink vodka. Looks cute though.” Harry commented, eyeing the bottle.

Louis, to his own surprise, replied without hesitation, his filter non-existent, and getting him into deeper trouble. “Cute? What is? Me or the cider?”

Harry smirked, revealing dimples that made Louis’ heart race. He was completely captivated.

“Both.” Harry replied, just as Oli appeared out of nowhere.

“Lewis, I’m ready. I have skittles, packets of crisps, and something called gob stoppers, hopefully it’ll shut up all your whinging. Anyway, did you find the- oh, hello… who’re you?” Oli asks in a serious tone.

“Oli, this is Harry. He will be joining us on our quest to forget our worries tonight.” Louis introduced.

Louis couldn’t help but notice the slight frown on Harry’s face as he extended his hand, and like a lightbulb switching on, it suddenly dawned on him.

“Harry, this is Oli, my best friend-my very straight best friend.”

Fuck

Louis cursed under his breath, his nerves getting the best of him, and he could see Oli smirking mischievously. He knew he wouldn’t hear the end of this anytime soon. Oli bit his lip, trying to suppress his amusement at Louis’ unravelling composure. To be fair, it had been a while since Louis had felt this jittery in the presence of another man.

“That’s great. The more, the merrier, as they say. Now, let’s go. I’m itching for a smoke.” Oli declared, leading the way, and leaving Louis to contend with his newfound anxiety.

Satisfied with their revised plans for the evening, they all exchange joyful smiles like a trio of foolish grinning schoolboys. Louis gently tucks the bottles under his arm and proceeds to the counter. The cashier efficiently tallies up his purchase, and Oli hands over the necessary cash.

As he walks out of the store, the chill of the night envelops his being, cascading over his form in an invigorating rush. His hand instinctively moves towards the cider he had procured within, deftly releasing the cap, and eagerly embracing the sweet, tangy flavour that flowed within. With each passing sip, he savours the feeling of elation, an emotion that had eluded him until now. And to his delight, he had the pleasure of sharing this victory with an alluring, cute lad beside him, whose presence was a welcomed bonus to his evening.

Louis felt alive and free, his worries and fears gradually slipping away with each passing moment. The three of them continued to stroll along the streets, captivated by the lively atmosphere. The music from nearby bars filled their ears as they chatted. A sense of lightness began to return to Louis, a feeling he believed he had lost for a long time. Oli’s words echoed in his mind, stirring emotions within him, a sense of comfort he hadn’t felt in a while.

As they turned a corner, Louis abruptly stopped in surprise. Before him lay a charming little garden, adorned with exotic flowers and lush plants. Tiny waterfalls twisted and gurgled, with winding paths leading beyond the earthen archways. It was a serene paradise, and without hesitation, Louis guided them into the garden, feeling a sense of wonder wash over him as he marvelled at the beauty around him. Suddenly, he felt a kind of healing that no therapy, medication, or alcohol could provide. The garden was tranquil and more peaceful, with a few benches scattered about. Oli was enjoying the liquor, laughing heartily at Harry’s jokes, even though Louis didn’t find them particularly funny. Nevertheless, he found himself laughing along anyway.

The night passed too quickly, a testament to the old saying that time flies when you’re having fun. Louis and Harry continued to flirt and laugh, their connection deepening by the minute. Louis felt like he was floating on a cloud, his heart brimming with joy and happiness. He sensed that he had stumbled upon something special in Harry, something he hoped to cherish for a long time to come.

Harry was halfway through explaining to Louis about his wish to have become a vet when Louis flicked his eyes to the side and noticed Oli watching them closely, a contented smile on his face. Louis recognized that it wouldn’t be too long before Oli decided to make his exit. He knew his best friend well, and one thing Oli detested was feeling like a third wheel. However, the sight of Oli’s happiness filled Louis’ heart, making it all worthwhile.

“My god, your eyes are beautiful.” Harry suddenly remarked, catching Louis off guard. A warm blush spread across his cheeks as he hastily shifted his attention back to Harry, struggling to find any words. Before he could respond, Oli swiftly rose to his feet.

“Annnd that’s my cue to leave.” Oli announced.

Louis’ cheeks flamed crimson, mortified beyond measure, as Harry stared at him with a serious expression. It should have been intimidating, but surprisingly, it didn’t make him feel afraid. Instead, a hunger began to grow inside him, a desire he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Hooking up wasn’t on his agenda for the night, and he wasn’t entirely certain he was ready to re-enter the dating scene, but Harry’s desire-filled gaze was impossible to ignore. Maybe Oli was right, maybe this was what he had needed.

“You don’t have to do that, Oli. Harry and I are just-”

“It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Oli.” Harry interjected, cutting Louis off and extending his hand to Oli.

And Oh .

Harry raised his bottle to Oli, who reciprocated the gesture.

Oli couldn’t contain his excitement as he leaned forward to give Louis a quick hug, followed by a whispered comment in his ear. “I told you that you might meet the love of your life. See, you should have worn the jeans.”

Louis pushed him back playfully with a smile and adjusted his hair. “Are you okay to walk, or do you want me to call an Uber for you?”

Oli was drunk, but he still seemed capable of making his way back. “I’m fine, Louis. I’m more worried about you. Do you know the way back, or…?”

“Not my first time in London, Oliver.”

Harry should have been paying attention to that information rather than intensely studying the striking figure in front of him. That knowledge would have come in quite handy later on.

With Oli’s departure, an awkward silence descended upon them, and both Louis and Harry found themselves silently assessing each other. Harry sported a mischievous smirk. “Walk with me.”

🌻

They walked in silence, the newfound shyness and attraction between them creating a palpable tension. As Harry pulled out his phone and started typing, Louis couldn’t help but wonder if Harry might be considering bailing on their evening. However, he couldn’t have been more wrong. Harry flashed a reassuring smile and took the lead, navigating the streets with confidence.

Their quiet journey continued until they arrived at a dimly lit alleyway. A sense of unease washed over Louis, but Harry’s smile provided much-needed reassurance. They pressed forward until Harry came to a halt in front of a massive, eerie, weather-beaten old door.

“Feel like exploring?” Harry asked.

Louis surveyed his surroundings.

The abandoned building loomed over the street like a dark and brooding presence. It was an old, dilapidated hotel that had been deserted for years, with broken windows and crumbling brickwork. The paint had long since peeled away, leaving only a faded reminder of a bygone era.

The building exuded an eerie vibe, as if it were alive and observant of its surroundings with malevolent intent. The broken windows whistled in the wind, creating the impression that the building was exhaling an icy breath over the desolate streets.

The entrance was overgrown with vines and weeds, as if the building were attempting to conceal itself from the outside world. As Louis gazed up at the shattered windows and decaying bricks, he couldn’t shake the feeling that they stood in the shadow of something ancient and sinister. The abandoned building served as a constant reminder that something dark and mysterious lay beneath its exterior, waiting to be uncovered by those daring enough to venture inside.

“Are you bonkers? This is creepy as fuck, not to mention, I’d rather not get done for trespassing tonight.”

Harry just smirked, and Louis was starting to think that, yes, this was the downfall. Harry was a freaking lunatic.

“It’s fine. There’s nothing to be scared of, trust me.” Harry reassured him.

Louis did trust Harry for some reason, and that scared him tremendously, more so than the building itself. He had been burned once before, and he knew that trusting someone blindly could lead to heartbreak and disappointment once again. But there was something about Harry that made Louis feel safe and protected and right now, he didn’t care what it was.

“Ok, let’s do it.” Louis agreed.

While Louis looked around nervously, Harry fiddled with the lock pick for a moment before successfully unlocking the door, the loud creak echoing through the abandoned building. The sense of dread was palpable; there was something sinister lurking in the shadows within the walls of the decrepit hotel, Louis was sure of it.

As they walked through the dark hallways that were illuminated only by the faint light coming in from the outside, Louis felt a chill run down his spine. The air was damp and musty, and the walls were covered in peeling paint and damp patches.

Harry’s footsteps echoed as they passed by empty rooms, and Louis couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being watched. He wanted to ask Harry to leave, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

Despite all the unsettling feelings that surrounded the abandoned building, Louis and Harry continued to explore deeper into the hotel. As they wandered through the corridors, the only sounds were the echo of their footsteps and the creaking of old metal pipes.

Suddenly, a loud noise shattered the silence, causing Louis to jump in fright. His heart raced in his chest as he turned to Harry, seeking comfort. Harry sensed his fear and wrapped his arm around Louis, their fingers entwined to reassure him that everything was okay.

God, Harry’s hands were large and warm and…..

As they continued to explore, they stumbled upon rooms that seemed frozen in time, as if their occupants had hastily departed, leaving everything behind. Louis was fascinated by the eerie scene, dashing from one room to another to inspect their contents.

Harry was captivated as well, but his attention was more attuned to the little details. He closely examined the rooms, noticing that some appeared to have been cleaned. One room caught his eye, and he gently tugged Louis towards it. As Harry pushed the door open, Louis let out an audible gasp of amazement. The room was astonishingly clean, and everything inside appeared brand new.

In his excitement, Louis checked the mini bar in the corner, hoping to find something to drink. However, Harry was too preoccupied with the pristine condition of the room to pay much attention to it. Harry pulled out his phone to cast some light and began scrutinizing every aspect of the room.

“Come here.” Harry whispered.

He couldn’t wait any longer as he watched Louis float around the room. His voice, his hair, his free spirit, and that ass, god he wanted to feel that ass.

Louis got the memo quickly as Harry returned that same needy stare from earlier.

Fuck, this was going to happen.

Louis wanted to move but it was like his feet were frozen. Harry walked closer admiring the lad who was nervously smiling back at him.

“ Hmm, are you defiant, or do you just enjoy the chase?“ Harry whispered.

Louis couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but Harry had stirred an undeniable desire within him. His body responded, and he could feel the unmistakable problem growing in his pants.

To Louis, Harry felt like a forbidden sin, wrapped in angelic eyes. It made his heart race with lust, and whether it was the alcohol or primal instincts clouding his judgment, he didn’t care. At this moment, all he knew was that he was experiencing emotions he hadn’t felt in a long time. He wanted Harry, all of him, and he wanted him… now.

Harry scanned Louis’ face, awaiting any sign of approval to continue. Louis made the inevitable mistake of licking his lips in anticipation.

Despite the chill of the night, Louis’ body heated up under Harry’s gaze as he weighed his next move. He had been hurt before and wasn’t sure if he was ready to risk getting hurt again. But something about Harry beckoned to him, drawing him in closer. In an instant, he made his decision. He leaned in towards Harry, hoping to find the connection he so desperately craved.

Harry extended his hand, gently holding the back of Louis’ head, drawing him closer. He paused, just before their lips made contact, heightening the intense atmosphere between them. Their deep, synchronized breathing was the only sound in the room as they focused solely on each other.

“May I?” Harry softly inquired.

Louis nodded in agreement, feeling a rush of nervous excitement, akin to his middle school days.

As their lips finally met in a passionate kiss, Louis was certain he had made the right choice. The initial touch was tender and warm, their breaths mingling in the hot, humid air. Instead of vying for dominance, they sought unity - a shared breath, a shared sensation, a timeless and passionate moment.

The heat rose in Louis’ cheeks as Harry’s tongue gently grazed his own. Harry thrusts forward slightly, causing friction, a moan emitting from the pair of them as their cocks began to slightly rub against each other.

The sounds coming from Louis ignited a surge of desire in Harry, prompting him to back Louis up and press him against the wall. Without wasting any time, they reconnected, and their passionate kisses transformed into a burning fire. They almost try to inhale the other, not being able to get enough of the addictive taste.

Their movements turn firmer, with much more determination, as curiosity about the heat that lays within them spikes, seeking to chase that elusive spark of lightning that has soared through them both.

“ Man, you are so…… delicately

stunning .“ Harry exclaimed hoarsely, admiration clear in Harry’s tone as he leans forward without hesitation and adds. “I’m about to destroy you in the most god forsaking way possible.”

Between the kisses, Louis finally manages to somehow respond. “Oh yeah, how so?”

Much to Louis’ dissatisfaction, Harry comes to a halt, causing himself to put some distance between them as he lifts to rest his hands over Louis’ shoulders against the wall as he stares into the magical sea of blue. A smirk emerges as he keeps eye contact, leaning back down only mere inches to his lips.

“Let’s just say, when I leave tonight, you will fully understand why storms are named after people and well, hurricane Harry is ready to-” he pulls at the hem of Louis’ shirt. “ wreak havoc.“

Louis couldn’t help but chuckle, but a crinkled nose betrayed his true feelings as he was met with a gust of Harry’s alcohol-laden breath.

“God, you reek.” he quipped, struggling to stifle a cough as the overwhelming scent of vodka assailed his senses.

Harry scoffs, trying to refrain from laughing as he continues to start kissing down Louis’ torso. He looks back up to Louis, who is already so flushed, making Harry feel dammed well pleased with himself.

“ Well… you know what you smell like? My next meal, so-“

Grinning at his own joke, he manhandles Louis until he’s lying on his back on the bed in the middle of the room. Harry doesn’t wait for Louis to respond, impatient to have him out of his clothes, he grabs the top of his trackpants, and underwear and pulls them down together. Louis moans when he feels Harry use his large hands to open his legs and keep them apart, as he wastes no time, eager to get a taste of the stunning beauty before him.

Too impatient for foreplay, Harry goes straight for a long lick straight up his main vein. Louis can feel his balls being fondled as Harry licks vigorously around his tip, relishing in the salty pre-cum before sinking down, taking Louis fully into his mouth.

“ Fuck..oh…God.“

Louis hisses as his body has trouble keeping up with the pace of Harry’s generous amount of pleasure. Louis isn’t sure if it’s the alcohol or the intense pace of how fast Harry is making him so sensitive, that’s turning him on. All Louis feels he can do is lay there, let himself enjoy the moment, and hold on for the ride, and that is exactly what he does. He grips the side of the mattress as Harry sucks rhythmically up and down his length. Louis is so scared that he is going to cum too soon if Harry keeps this up.

“In no way do I wish to sound greedy, but if you don’t get inside me now Harry, I’m going to make a mess already. I’m too close to the edge to drag this out much longer and I don’t want it all to be about me.” Louis said, trying to do the polite thing and warn Harry that he was about to explode all over his face if he didn’t hurry.

At hearing those words, he didn’t need to be told twice. Harry stands to discard his own clothes with no shyness or hesitation. Unexpectedly, he sits beside Louis, not saying anything, he just pats his lap, and Louis fully understands.

Slow but steady, Louis lifts his leg up and over, bringing himself to straddle him. He remains lifted above his lap as Harry brings two fingers to his mouth, ready for a good suck to use as lubricant, but Louis stops him. “No.”

“ No?“ Harry questions.

Louis presses his lips together, too scared to speak, but only because he is too shy about his answer. It causes Harry to become a tad worried that maybe he has overstepped or made him uncomfortable.

“Oh, do you want to stop? We don’t have to do this if-” Harry says, about to retreat, thinking he’s misread this situation somehow.

“ What! No, it’s just, I like…“ Louis mumbles the remainder of the sentence so softly that Harry doesn’t understand a single word.

“Babe, you’re going to have to speak up, I can’t hear you.” Harry said, patiently waiting for Louis to explain what he means.

“I said, I like the stretch, the burn, it…it does something to me, it arouses me.” Louis repeats, face on fire with how embarrassed he feels at explaining that to a stranger.

Harry tries to hide it, but the way Louis is looking and sounding so bashful has Harry in a complete state of desperation. “Fuck, that’s so hot.”

Harry’s deep voice sends a shiver down Louis’ spine as he leans forward to open him roughly before Louis pulls back. “Shit, do you have a Johnnie?”

“ A what?“ Harry sounds confused, to which in return makes Louis laugh.

“ You know, a jimmy cap, a raincoat, a cum catcher, a condom, Harry.“

Harry laughs, but frowns when he realises, he hasn’t got any.

“No fucking way this is happening.” Louis says in frustration.

Running a hand through his hair clearly annoyed, Harry sighs loudly. “Just my luck to stumble across the most gorgeous man on the planet and not be prepared. Shit, I’m so sorry.”

The devastation on Harry’s face makes Louis say something that he has never said to anyone else before, not even his long-term ex. He contemplates it at first because he normally isn’t this careless, and he has only known Harry for a few hours. “Are you clean?”

Harry’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, a curious glint in his eyes, wondering if this was indeed headed where he anticipated. “Yes.” he mutters, a hint of anticipation in his voice.

Louis gives a slight nod, his internal thoughts working overtime as he tries to convince himself. That’s why he feels compelled to double-check, just to ensure he’s on the same page. “Are you absolutely certain? If you have any doubts, please let me know.” he states, his concern etched in his gaze.

Harry sits up, his gaze intense and unwavering. “I am clean, I was only tested about four weeks ago. I wouldn’t lie about that; I wouldn’t lie about anything to you.”

What has he got to lose, certainly not his virginity, but he might miss out on a good lay if he hesitates any longer.

He leans forward connecting their lips, savouring Harry for a few moments before leaning back and taking a hold of Harry’s hard length. Harry was long and thick and the thought that this monster penis could tear him open didn’t persuade him otherwise. Rising up over Harry’s hard length, he lined himself up before beginning to lower himself down, hissing at the stretch.

“Fuck, it feels nice.” Louis moans as he gives himself a moment to adjust to the stretch.

Not having had sex in a while he felt somewhat like a reborn virgin but the warmth of Harry’s strong hands holding his hips still, nails pressing into his tender skin, took all that fear and initial anxiety away.

Louis rocked his pelvis in a figure eight, causing Harry to moan explicitly. “ That’s it baby, fuck me good, god you feel amazing, so fucking tight. “

Harry, like Louis, is scared of ejaculating too soon and Louis can tell by his face that Harry is close. He begins to move faster, his movements more deliberate and sensual. He slows down again, his eyes locking with Harry as he sways his hips seductively.

“So stunning.” Harry repeats. Louis knows this is only a once off but fuck, Harry is making him feel all sorts of things in his stomach.

Louis becomes tired after riding him, out of breath and clearly out of practise. Harry has been dying to take charge, so when he notices the fatigue, he grabs Louis by the hips and rolls him over to the side before coming up behind him. Wasting no time Harry dips down at first burying his head straight into Louis’ ass, licking and slurping the moisture created by his own saliva. He eats him out with such force that Louis arches his back in a sensory overload.

“ Fuck, Harry.“ Louis moans and yes, Harry was right, Louis was indeed his next meal.

Harry had been holding back his release, but he can’t wait any longer. Coming up from lapping at Louis’ hole, he gets ready to mount him, grabbing a hold of his aching cock, lining himself up, and quickly plunging in hard and fast. Droplets of sweat begin to drip down the side of his eyes as he pounds into him. One hand now resting in the little curve of Louis’ back as he chases his high which came on quicker than he’d anticipated. Before he’s had a chance to register that he’s going to cum, he’s exploding inside of Louis’ tight passage. It’s a little bit embarrassing for Harry who can normally last longer than that, but he’s prepared to fully blame Louis who is unfairly hot, and to whom he stood no chance against.

As Harry works himself through his orgasm, withdrawing when he feels like he’s done, he pulls out of Louis reluctantly, his cum buried deep inside of Louis’ walls with minimal leakage. He then makes up for coming early by turning Louis around and taking him deep into his mouth once again.

He may be worn out himself, but he sucks furiously, guiding Louis to fuck his mouth as hard as he can, making sure that Louis was hitting the back of his throat. Louis is gripping the blanket as he moans excessively loud, he tries and tries to withhold a scream, but Harry’s tongue is producing all sorts of different sensations, ones he has never experienced before.

“ Harrrrrrrry.“

When Harry pulls back wiping his mouth, he looks up grinning like a devil’s advocate, and Louis can’t fucking believe how lucky he has been tonight.

Harry raises his hand looking at his watch.

Yep, fuck then run, Louis thinks to himself.

While Louis carefully redressed himself, Harry observed him with a playful smirk, savouring the moment. He found Louis utterly endearing as he meticulously buttoned up his shirt, and in a tender gesture, Harry leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on Louis’ lips.

“It’s officially February 14th. Happy Valentine’s Day.” Harry said, his voice filled with nothing but lust.

🌻

Sometimes in life, you encounter someone so special and unique, that you’re left wondering about the mysterious forces that led to your connection. The how’s and the why’s and in an instant, life without them automatically seems unfathomable. Even as the night deepens, life shines with unprecedented brilliance and vitality. By their side, you experience a profound sense of comfort and contentment. The person you were just hours ago-the lost and disoriented part of yourself, the frustrated sense of failure-all washes away. Now, in their presence, you feel more authentically yourself: joyful, optimistic, and reinvigorated.

The alcohol, the laughter, the sex, and the company-tonight had been exactly what Louis had needed, and he mentally noted to express his gratitude to Oli later. He was even looking forward to the inevitable “I told you so” comments that were surely bound to come.

For Harry, the night had been exhilarating and somewhat out of his comfort zone. Hooking up with a stranger wasn’t typically his style. For whatever reason that caused him to step foot in that corner shop tonight, it will always remain a mystery, but it is something he will always treasure and give many thanks to. Spending time with someone this evening who had no idea who he was, was somewhat humbling.

With broad smiles on their faces, neither of them knew how to proceed as they stood on the sidewalk. It should have been awkward, they both should have been anxious to part ways, but it was quite the opposite. This one-night stand had an unexpectedly comfortable and secure feeling.

Harry hesitated to turn and walk away, and Louis had enjoyed the evening so much that returning to the hotel seemed less appealing. However, Louis had to leave for Doncaster tomorrow, and Harry had to fly back to LA for work in a few hours.

The beautiful thing with young lust and love, is that, there’s a sense of truth buried in our hearts that we actually think it will last forever.

“I really need to get back to Oli but um, I had fun tonight, yeah this whole-” Louis playfully traces his finger in a circle as he gestures towards the building beside him.

“Hook up, you can say it, it’s not a naughty word.” Harry remarks with a mischievous grin. His deep voice delivers the line with such charm, complemented by his striking dimples as he interjects, eliciting a chuckle from Louis.

“Kind of feels naughty to me. No, it DEFINITELY feels that way to me. I’m not going to lie; I kind of feel like a teenager again.” Louis says with a wry grin on his face.

“Same.” Harry echoes not knowing what else to say.

For a fleeting moment, Louis contemplates whether a hug or a kiss would be more appropriate for saying goodbye to Harry. Perhaps a simple handshake might suffice? This decision feels a tad awkward. Eventually, he extends his arms for a hug which Harry rushes into, holding on tight and not wanting to let go just yet.

“Thank you for tonight.” Harry’s words soft and caring, punctuating his gratitude with a sweet and gentle peck on Louis’ forehead.

Louis returns the smile, realizing that this is the perfect ending to their evening. No further words are necessary as he turns away, beginning his exit.

“Hey, Lou.” Harry calls out.

Turning back around, Louis cannot help but feel fond of how coy Harry has become. The alluring smile emitting from Harry has Louis’ stomach in knots. He hasn’t felt this type of excitement since, well, before Matt came along.

Harry presses his lips together, caving in. “ Doesn’t matter.“

Harry just wanted that one last glance. He frowns as he watches Louis disappear down the pathway. There is a ping in his stomach that is telling him to chase after him, to not let him go. Tonight, Harry smiled and felt genuinely happy for the first time in months. He takes a deep breath and looks upwards towards the sky, and just like the moon, half of Harry’s heart will now always love the dark.

“Hey, Harry. You all done now?” Comes a voice from behind him.

Harry turns around to greet his childhood friend.

“Long time no see. How have you been, Chris?”

Harry digs a hand into his pocket, handing him back the key to the building. “Thank you again for lending me the place. I owe you.”

“Not going to lie, I was surprised to hear from you earlier when you texted to set up a room and plant a key. The night went well then?”

Harry smiles, looking over and up towards the second-floor window, immediately beginning to reminisce on the night’s festivities.

Chris notices the fondness and laughs. “Oh, it was that good, huh?”

“Hey, I don’t kiss and tell.” Harry said, before he extends his hand, thanking Chris again for his generosity and aid in helping out.

“Well, I will catch you around sometime. Thanks again.” As Harry makes his way down the road towards the taxi ranks, his mind swirls with a sense of purpose. The bustling noises of the city fade into obscurity as he becomes lost in his thoughts. Suddenly, his solitude is interrupted by a familiar voice calling out his name.

Without breaking his stride, Harry turns slightly to see his friend Chris waving frantically from behind. “You can always repay me by putting my hotel on your show!” Chris yells, hopeful that Harry would give in to his request.

Despite his friend’s insistence, Harry knows better than to get involved with a non-haunted house on his paranormal-themed web series. After all, Chris tended to exaggerate his stories.

“It’s not haunted, Christopher!” Harry responds firmly, his voice echoing down the empty street. And with that, he continues his journey, determined to stay true to his principles.

🌻

As Louis enters the hotel room, he finds himself struck by a feeling of gratitude towards his friend Oli, who had left the door unlocked for him. Utterly spent from the night’s antics, he makes a beeline for the bed, and all he keeps thinking about now that his head is working again unfazed and not clouded, are green eyes and curls.

He collapses on the bed, his mind still reeling from the events that had just transpired. He barely registers the cool sheets against his skin. Though his body longs for the comfort of sleep, his heart is heavy with a yearning he can’t shake.

It’s then that he realizes he hasn’t even bothered to remove his clothes. The thought of washing away the lingering aroma of cologne is too unbearable to consider. Every inch of his being is saturated with the scent of his newfound love, and he can’t bear the thought of losing it.

He lies there in a daze, his mind constantly drifting back to the moments they just shared. It’s as if the smell of his cologne is a tether that keeps him grounded to the dreamlike memory of their encounter.

The hotel room remains silent, except for the sound of Louis’ steady breathing and Oli’s loud snoring. All around him, the world is unaware of the tender affection that has blossomed in that building. It’s a moment frozen in time, and Louis is content to linger in it for as long as he can.

As his tired mind slowly awakens, Louis is left with nothing but one nagging thought: he had let the mysterious lad slip through his fingers without even getting his full name or number.

He berates himself for his lack of clear-headedness earlier on, knowing all too well the regret that would gnaw at him if he didn’t learn more about the intriguing stranger. Louis can’t shake the feeling that there’s something special about this man, and he’s determined to make amends.

He closes his eyes as tiredness sets in. Something screams at Louis from the inside, and like the feeling of a soft cool breeze brushing across his face on a hot summer’s night, his heart confirms with a whisper that Harry was someone he was destined to never forget.

And so, as the old saying goes: “If two people are truly meant to be together, love will always find a way home.”

🌻

A/N

There it is everyone, the opening chapter.

What are your thoughts so far?

The next chapter requires a time jump, where a new cute little character will make their debut.

Chapter 2- Where are you ?

’ How a kidnapping ends, depends to a large degree, on who the kidnapper is.’

🧸 Almost 3 years later. 🧸

28th September 2024

As Louis gradually awakens, he feels a faint sense of rejuvenation, though he remains groggy as he sits up in bed, endeavouring to dispel the sleep from his eyes. If he’s being honest, he didn’t experience a particularly restful night. He awoke multiple times for reasons that eluded him entirely.

His bedroom remains shrouded in darkness, thanks to the blackout curtains he thoughtfully installed. Both inside and outside, there’s a peculiar serenity, leading him to assume it’s still relatively early. He leans over to disconnect his phone from the charger on the bedside table, releasing a loud yawn.

The shock jolts through him as he glances at his phone’s display, revealing the time: 7:45 a.m. Swiftly throwing the comforter aside, Louis experiences an immediate rush of panic. His fingers scramble haphazardly, grasping the scattered clothes strewn about the bedroom floor. Time is of the essence, and he knows he has just a mere sixty minutes to complete his morning routine, in order to get out of the door on time.

The surge of panic intensifies, causing a throbbing headache to settle in from the abrupt onslaught of anxiety. He’s acutely aware that every moment counts as he rushes to gather himself and prepare for the day ahead.

Why in the world didn’t his alarm ring? This was uncharacteristic and potentially disastrous. Louis, disheveled and half-awake, frantically searches for the other shoe, hopping on one foot in his hurry. It’s a chaotic race against the clock. He finally locates the elusive shoe and hastily puts it on.

With a sense of urgency, he rushes to the bathroom. The cold splash of water wakes him up a bit, and he quickly brushes his teeth and attempts to tame his unruly hair with wet fingers. Although he’s far from his best, he deems himself presentable enough for work.

He makes his way down the hallway, cautiously pushing open the bedroom door. As the light filters through the curtains, a sense of dread creeps in. It’s clear that something is amiss.

“Saxon?” Louis calls out with growing concern, his voice echoing in the stillness of the room.

He dashes towards his son’s tiny toddler bed, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, a visceral sensation of dread gnawing at his very soul. The sight of an empty bed sends his pulse racing faster than ever before as he scans the room for any sign of his beloved child.

“Sax, where are you, baby?” he calls out, his voice trembling with concern, the emotion palpable in every syllable. He embarks on a frenzied quest, searching everywhere in the room. He checks under the bed, then in the closet, and yet there’s no trace of his son. An overwhelming sense of helplessness and fear envelops him as he moves about with urgency, tears welling up in his eyes, his fatherly instincts propelling him into overdrive.

Louis’ heart raced as he hurriedly exited the room, and the unsettling silence in the house only amplified the urgency of his search. Panic coursed through his veins, his mind racing faster than his footsteps. The thought of his son being missing sent shivers down his spine. He dashed through each room in a frantic search, his voice trembling as he called out Saxon’s name with increasing desperation.

His search led him to the bathroom, the echoes of his own footsteps deafening in his ears. He scanned the room, looking for any trace of his son, but there was only emptiness. His steps grew more frantic as he moved into the junk room, the spare room filled with a jumble of items, none of them offering any comfort.

The laundry, usually a place of routine, now felt like an abyss of uncertainty. Louis’ hands trembled as he pulled back the door, hoping to find his son there. But once again, it was an empty room, and the anxiety that had taken hold of him continued to tighten its grip.

Louis’ voice grew more desperate with each room he searched, his fear intensifying. “SAXON!” he called out, the name a plea, an invocation of hope, but still, there was no response. His heart ached with the thought of his missing son, a profound sense of helplessness washing over him.

As he guided himself into the kitchen, his eyes darted around, searching and searching for any sign of Saxon. The familiar surroundings offered no answers, and the lounge proved equally barren of his son’s presence. Desperation gave way to a sinking feeling in his chest as he ventured into the garage, but Saxon was nowhere to be found.

Finally, he stepped outside, his voice hoarse from calling his son’s name repeatedly. The open air did nothing to alleviate his anxiety; instead, it felt like an endless void, leaving Louis with the chilling realisation that Saxon was missing. Emotionally drained and trembling, he was left with the heartbreaking uncertainty of his son’s whereabouts.

The sound of Louis’ frantic footsteps echoed through the house as he rushed back inside, his eyes brimming with tears that spilled down his flushed cheeks. His face was a mix of worry and desperation, emotions running high as he headed straight for his bedroom, the urgency of the situation pushing him forward.

In the dimly lit room, he made a beeline for the nightstand where his phone lay. His trembling hands reached for it, and he fumbled for a moment as he grasped the device, his heart pounding in his chest. Louis knew that it was time to call the authorities, to seek their help in finding Saxon, his and Harry’s son.

His fingers trembled as he dialled the emergency number, each digit feeling like an eternity as the phone rang on the other end. With every ring, his anxiety deepened. Louis clutched the phone to his ear, waiting for someone to answer, praying for a glimmer of hope that they would miracously bring his son back to him.

As the call was answered, Louis’ voice wavered, but he quickly explained the situation, his words filled with urgency and distress. “My son is missing. I can’t find him anywhere in the house. Please, you have to help me.”

The voice on the other end of the line reassured him, promising that help was on the way. Louis hung up and set the phone down, his chest tight with fear and his mind racing with thoughts of his son’s safety. He knew that the authorities would do everything in their power to find Saxon, but the waiting was agonising. Louis paced back and forth in his bedroom, the minutes feeling like hours, as he clung to the hope that his son would be returned safely.

But then, as panic tightened its grip on Louis, a small voice pierced through the tumult of his emotions.

“ Daddy?“

Louis’ head snapped in the direction of the tiny voice, and there he stood, he and Harry’s precious son Saxon. His bottom lip quivered, his cheeks rosy and tear-stained, a sight that both broke Louis’ heart and yet also filled it with relief.

“Saxon, my god, baby, where have you been?” Louis’ voice wavered with a mixture of worry but more so relief as he lowered down onto his knees to meet Saxon’s eye level. His hands gently cupped his son’s face as he scanned his eyes all over his little body to make sure he was okay, checking for any signs of injuries.

The almost two-year-old stared up at Louis, visibly upset and worked up, still teary-eyed from the whole ordeal. He tried to explain, his words stuttering through his small voice “Play boo, you not find me.”

Louis couldn’t help but pull Saxon into a tight, trembling hug, holding him close, his emotions a whirlwind of relief, happiness, and lingering fear. He didn’t even realise his hands were shaking until he quickly reached for his phone. The call to the police was made, and in a trembling voice, he explained that his son had been found. That moment was bittersweet, a rush of embarrassment but with profound gratitude that yes, Saxon was safe and sound, back in his arms.

Louis felt an overwhelming mix of relief and tenderness as he held little Saxon close. His heart swelled with love for his son, who was just beginning to understand the complexities of the world around him.

He picked Saxon up gently, carrying him over to the bed and sitting down beside him. Although Saxon was only nearly two years old, Louis believed it was important to explain, even at this young age, the importance of safety and communication.

“Saxon” Louis began softly, “playing ‘boo’ like that wasn’t safe, baby. You need to tell Daddy if you want to play hide and seek, alright?”

Saxon, his big innocent eyes still glistening with tears, sniffled and nodded. “Sorry, Daddy. Me just thought it was funny. Me love play boo.”

It turns out that little Saxon had heard Louis rushing around in his room as he got ready for work and when he heard his daddy’s footsteps, he jumped inside his toy box where he hid the entire time. His cheeks were red and blotchy, the toy box was small and compact leaving limited air for the young boy to breathe.

Louis couldn’t help but smile, realising that Saxon’s actions had come from a place of innocent curiosity rather than deliberate mischief. He brushed a few strands of Saxon’s brown hair away from his forehead, hugging him once more to reassure his son.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I know you didn’t mean to worry Daddy.” Louis said, planting a gentle kiss on Saxon’s forehead.

Louis proceeded to explain once more, emphasising the importance of safety. Saxon’s teary eyes began to dry, and he wrapped his tiny arms tightly around Louis’ neck, seeking comfort and reassurance.

“Promise me now, no more ‘boo’ okay?” Louis asked, his eyes locked on Saxon’s, who nodded again and repeated “No boo.”

With Saxon still in his arms, Louis leaned in for another loving hug, cherishing the deep connection between them. He knew that today, his precious son had learned a very valuable lesson.

“Alright, my love.” Louis said with a gentle smile. “Let’s get you something to eat and dress you properly. Daddy has to go to work.”

“No.” Saxon protested, his lower lip quivering. Louis gazed at his precious son with that of empathy, as guilt, like usual, coursed through him. This parting was never easy for either of them. The father-son bond they shared was not merely tight; it was a love that ran so deep, it felt as though their souls were intertwined.

“I love you, baby.” Louis whispered, his voice filled with tenderness. “but please, Daddy needs to go to work so we can have food to eat, to buy those toys you love so much.”

Saxon’s watery green eyes fixed on Louis, and his tiny heart ached at the thought of parting. “No” he pleaded once more, his little voice tugging at Louis’ heartstrings.

Louis sighed, understanding the difficulty of the situation. It was a delicate balance between being a loving father and fulfilling his responsibilities. He stroked Saxon’s soft cheek with his thumb. “Sax, c’mon. We really need to get moving. Daddy doesn’t have much time today, but I promise I’ll be back before you know it. You love daycare and later on, we can have dinner together and play, just like we always do.”

Saxon’s lower lip trembled as he absorbed his father’s words. He knew he couldn’t keep Louis from work, but the fear of separation was a heavy burden for a little boy to bear. He nodded, his teary eyes still locked on Louis’ face, seeking any sort of solace.

Louis planted a tender kiss on Saxon’s forehead, his love and warmth engulfing his son. “That’s my brave boy. Now, how about we get some breakfast together before I go? What would you like, hm, some toast?” Deciding that toast would be the quicker and easiest option, he crossed his fingers and hoped Saxon would sucummb to the bait.

“ Nah.“

Louis sighed, as a flicker of excitement danced in Saxon’s eyes as he considered his options. The prospect of a special breakfast with his father seemed to lift his spirits. With a small but genuine smile, he replied “Pancakes, Daddy, with honey and strub, straws, starburry-”

“strawberries.” Louis corrected as he flicked his eyes over to the time.

“ We don’t really have time sweetheart.“

Why, oh why, did he have to do that? It was as if his son possessed some innate knowledge that fluttering those long eyelashes and flashing those cute dimples would grant him anything his little heart desired.

“ Fine.“

Louis chuckled softly, relieved to see the glimmer of happiness returning to Saxon’s eyes. “Pancakes it is, my love. Let’s go make some together, and then I’ll head to work, okay?”

Saxon nodded eagerly, the promise of pancakes and quality time with his dad helping to ease his heartache. Father and son headed to the kitchen hand in hand, ready to start their morning together, making a small but cherished memory before Louis had to leave for the day.

Louis managed to leave the house with only three minutes to spare. He rushed out the front door, swiftly locking it behind him, and together, they hurried towards the waiting car in the driveway. But, just as Louis was about to breathe a sigh of relief for making it on time, Saxon’s eyes welled up with tears, and he let out a bellowing cry.

“My broom broom, Daddy! My broom broom is inside!”

Louis stopped in his tracks, feeling the familiar frustration simmering within him. He’d already been pressed for time today, and now this?

His “broom broom” as Saxon fondly referred to it, was a small hot wheels mini car, a bright combination of blue and green. It was undoubtedly Saxon’s most cherished toy, his constant companion on most days. No matter where Saxon ventured, that beloved car was never too far away.

“Please, Daddy, please!” Saxon pleaded, his quivering voice tugging at Louis’ heartstrings. His tearful eyes locked onto his father, the sheer desperation in them testing Louis’ resolve.

Just as Louis and Saxon were about to get into their car, a thunderous voice erupted in their space, startling them both. Slowly rising above the fence that separated their properties was the stern visage of their next-door neighbour ‘Grumpy George’. Great, just what they needed.

George, an elderly man who looked to be well into his seventies based on the multitude of wrinkles etched across his face and his slow, deliberate gait, was a bit of an enigma to Louis. He seemed to be a solitary figure, as Louis had never spotted anyone else at his place, making him seem somewhat lonely.

Louis couldn’t say he knew much about George, except for a few distinct features that made him unforgettable. One of these was the constant sour expression that was permanently placed upon his face, as if the world had perpetually wronged him. Another was the way he was forever embittered, as if every small inconvenience was a personal affront to his existence.

One thing that piqued Louis’ curiosity was the presence of a small pair of binoculars that George always seemed to clutch in his hands. Those binoculars, gripped tightly as if they held the secret to all the world’s mysteries, had become a distinctive part of George’s persona.

As Louis exchanged a weary glance with Saxon, he braced himself for the inevitable as George’s deep-set frown directed its full force towards them. With a resigned sigh, Louis realised that, once again, they had become the unwitting targets of George’s unending dissatisfaction.

“ Tone it down young man, my ears ain’t nothing like they used to be, your loud obnoxious screams are making my bloody damn ears ring.“

George’s complaining and demands irk Louis, but he maintains his composure. “Sorry, George.” Louis says with a forced smile.

Louis holds back his irritation, not wanting to engage in an argument with the grumpy old man. He knows that Saxon can be a handful, especially when he’s playing outside, but he’s not going to let George’s complaints ruin his day.

George, furrows his brow as he peers at the young single dad in his driveway, and back to the young boy. In his best grumpy British tone, George quips, “You know, back in my day, kids were expected to be seen and not heard. What’s the world coming to when you can’t even enjoy some peace and quiet in your own home?” He huffs and adds.“You might want to teach your young one here some manners, young man. This noise is simply unbearable nor appropriate.”

“I understand, and I’ll try to keep the noise down as much as possible. But you know how toddlers can be. We’re doing our best here.” To say Louis’ jaw wasn’t sore from gritting his teeth would be an understatement.

George turns away, shaking his head, and mumbles something along the lines of, “In my day, there were two parents, a man and a bloomin’ woman.”

Louis raises an eyebrow, mildly irritated by the comment but choosing to let it slide. It’s not the first time he’s heard such outdated remarks, and he’s become quite adept at ignoring them. Instead, he focuses on Saxon who was staring right back at him.

Louis hesitated for a moment, torn between his tight schedule and his son’s pleas. The frustration welled up within him as he thought about the impending delay, but in the end, the love for his child triumphed over everything else, and with an added bonus, it kept the narky crabby bastard next door off his case.

With a resigned sigh, Louis relented, unable to bear the sight of his son’s tears any longer. “Okay, okay, Saxon, just this once. Let’s go get your broom broom.”

Saxon’s face immediately lit up, his tears giving way to a radiant smile.

“ Scary man.“

Louis tried not to laugh as he smiled taking ahold of his little hand. “Not scary, just bitter.”

Louis led him back into the house, where Saxon’s beloved mini car was quickly retrieved. It might cost Louis some extra minutes, but seeing that joy on Saxon’s face was more than worth it.

As they finally headed to the car, the bright blue and green toy held tightly in Saxon’s little hand, Louis knew he would have to make up for the lost time today. But, for the moment, the memory of his son’s happiness was all that mattered.

🧸

Louis quickly pulls into the daycare’s bustling parking lot, the gravel crunching beneath his tires. With a sense of urgency, he unbuckles Saxon, guiding his little arms out of the car seat. Slamming the car door closed, he hoists Saxon onto his hip, who clings onto him like a tiny koala. Louis slings the compacted backpack over his shoulder, feeling the weight of time bearing down on him.

He sprints across the car park, each hurried step reflecting his determination to make up for the precious minutes he’s lost. As he glances at his watch, his heart sinks; he’s now officially seven minutes late, and that feeling of guilt gnaws at the edges of his mind.

Saxon’s daycare, officially known as “Little Explorers Daycare” is a popular choice among parents in the area due to its reputation for providing a safe, nurturing, and stimulating environment for children.

The daycare facility is housed in a charming, single-story building with a vibrant and playful exterior, featuring colourful murals and large windows to allow plenty of natural light into the classrooms. The grounds are dotted with age-appropriate play areas, including a sandbox, swings, a small garden, and a slide, ensuring that children can enjoy outdoor activities.

Inside, the daycare is divided into different classrooms based on age groups, providing tailored learning experiences for infants, toddlers, and preschoolers. Each room is decorated with cheerful, educational artwork, and equipped with age-appropriate toys, books, and materials to support early childhood development.

The place is known for its dedicated and compassionate staff, including teachers, caregivers, and administrative personnel. They undergo extensive training in early childhood education and are passionate about fostering the growth and development of each child.

The daycare curriculum is designed to be both fun and educational, with a focus on early learning activities such as arts and crafts, music, storytime, and group play. Safety and hygiene are paramount, and the facility follows strict health and safety protocols.

Parents like Louis find comfort in the transparent communication and security measures in place. They can check on their children’s well-being and development through regular updates, photos, and even video conferences.

As Louis hustles through the daycare’s entrance, his attention briefly lands on the young woman stationed at the check-in area. Krystal, who is known for her frequent friendly banter, is twirling a strand of her hair as she tries to engage with him.

“Mr. Tomlinson, um, good morning. What-”

Without a second thought, Louis rudely interrupts her by unceremoniously depositing Saxon’s backpack onto the desk. His stomach was already filled with breakfast, and he’s packed Saxon’s pull-ups in his bag, so time was really of the essence today.

“I’ve got to run, Krystal. I’m running late, I really need to go.” Louis announces, his tone reflecting his anxiety.

Krystal watches him with a furrowed brow, checking the time on her screen, all the while observing Louis as he opens the daycare’s door. He gives a quick kiss to Saxon’s forehead, whispering, “Bye, baby. Be good.”

Saxon darts off towards his favourite little toy, the slippery slide, while Louis makes a hasty exit. Krystal tries to interject “But, Louis, you-”

“Bye, Krystal. We’ll catch up later.” he calls over his shoulder, disappearing through the door before she can protest any further.

🧸

Louis had a dreadful sinking feeling as he pulled into the sorting office’s empty parking lot. Perplexed and frustrated, he ventured towards the entrance, only to check his phone and let out an expletive-laden sigh.

“Damn it.”

Realisation struck him hard; today was Saturday, and he didn’t work on weekends. His car’s engine roared to life as he quickly made a U-turn and sped back. In the car, he berated himself, slapping the steering wheel with frustration.

“I’m such an idiot! Stupid, stupid, stupid!!”

Working tirelessly from Monday through Friday had left him feeling drained. The demanding hours had taken their toll, making him utterly knackered. Unfortunately, catching a proper night’s sleep hadn’t been on the agenda. The stress from his job as a mere mail clerk at the Doncaster post office had thrown him for a loop, even though it might not seem like a high-stress occupation, add that into being a single parent and running a household, Louis was feeling the pressure.

But It all began to make sense now: the absent alarm clock’s blaring silence which only happened on weekends, Krystal’s perplexing attempts to detain him, the day couldn’t get any worse. Could it?

As Louis re entered the daycare after subconsciously speeding back, he was more relaxed this time but somewhat nervous at how to address his idiocy. He slowly stepped up to the check-in desk and was struck by an immediate urge to apologise, but before he could, Krystal chimed in with her trademark humour.

“Well, I’m willing to bet £20 that you’re not here for a casual chat about the weather, but rather because you’ve just realised it’s Saturday. Am I correct?” Her smile was mischievous as she stuck her tongue in her cheek.

Louis chuckled as he swiped his fringe across his forehead. While he didn’t have any romantic interest in Krystal, there was an undeniable rapport between them, akin to long-lost friends. However, he couldn’t help but notice Krystal’s occasional attempts at flirting. Nevertheless, Louis was determined not to venture down that road.

“Yeah, look, I’ve had a long week, and this morning has just been the icing on the cake.” Louis admitted with a sigh. He felt the need to apologise for his earlier behaviour, the frustration evident in his voice.

Krystal waved him off, her eyes carrying a hint of understanding, and he couldn’t help but notice the way she nibbled at her lip.

“No, it’s fine.” she reassured him, waving her hand dismissively. “It can happen to the best of us.”

Louis shifted his gaze over her shoulder towards the back rooms, yearning to leave this place behind. He was eager to escape the embarrassment of his earlier misunderstanding and, more importantly, to shed his work attire and spend the day with his son.

“Go on, I will buzz you through. They are still in the main learning room.” Krystal offered, her voice filled with warmth and kindness.

Louis nodded appreciatively, embarking on his stroll down the echoing hallway. “Thanks, love.” he called back to her, a faint smile touching his lips as he used the affectionate term. Then, his expression shifted to a comical wince as he realised he might have crossed a line with that endearment. Yeah, he shouldn’t have done that.

He opened the door, bracing himself for what lay beyond. Inside, his entrance didn’t go unnoticed. Several pairs of inquisitive eyes, a mix of workers and a group of curious children, all turned towards him.

Among them, the older lady, Tracey, regarded him with an unchanging stern expression, a look Louis would describe as a resting bitch face, and he wasn’t exaggerating when he admitted to being a little intimidated by her. Despite her being in her forties, her no-nonsense approach to dealing with parents never ceased to irk him.

“Mr. Tomlinson, back so soon?” she inquired, her tone laced with a hint of sarcasm, leaving Louis to brace himself for another interaction with the formidable “Miss Tracey.”

“Oh, um, yeah, I kind of-” Louis began, but Tracey’s interruption was swift and teasing.

“Made a boo-boo?” she quipped with a gentle tone, her eyes twinkling. “Saxon!” She called out, her voice soft and inviting. “Come here, sweetheart. Your daddy is here.”

Tracey might have had a reputation as a stern woman, far from the other sweet and charming workers, but there was a unique charm to her when it came to interacting with the kids. They all adored her, and Saxon was no exception.

Louis followed her line of sight, his heart melting at the sight of Saxon engrossed in play with colouring crayons. However, as their eyes met, Saxon’s little face fell. He hadn’t expected his daddy to arrive so soon, having just settled in and made friends in the last half-hour, he doesn’t wish to leave just yet. The idea of returning home was met with unwillingness, and his reluctance was evident in the hesitation to part from the playful world he had entered.

“Saxon, darling, let’s go.” Louis gently urged, reaching out to collect his son. Saxon, however, had other ideas. He stamped his little foot in defiance, making his intention and feelings very clear.

Tracey, an expert in handling these situations, took charge. With two sharp claps of her hands, she summoned all the children to come running. Saxon, following the others, joined the group on the colourful mat.

She leaned down to Saxon with a wide, warm smile. “Grab your coat and your bag, and we’ll see you bright and early on Monday.” she told him, her tone filled with cheerful encouragement. “It’s rainbow colours day, remember?”

Her comment was directed at Louis, and she gave him a hopeful look, silently reminding him not to forget to dress Saxon accordingly this time, as he had done so previously.

Louis always felt slightly inferior by Tracey’s presence, a sensation that left him perpetually baffled about why the children adored her so much. It was a mystery he couldn’t seem to unravel.

Finally, as Saxon reached out with his tiny arms, Louis lifted him into his embrace, the warmth of his little body settling into the crook of Louis’ neck.

“Bye-bye, Miss Tracey.” Saxon offered his shy, almost coy farewell, his voice so tender that it often left Louis genuinely puzzled about the source of Tracey’s charm.

Before he could make his exit, Tracey couldn’t resist one last teasing remark, her lips curling into a playful smile. “Oh, and Mr. Tomlinson, next time you want an impromptu session, please make a booking.”

Louis took a deep breath, a momentary pause before he responded. He knew it was best to keep the conversation light and not provoke any further confrontation with Miss Tracey, who had the ability to be both stern and generous.

“It was a-” Louis began, then sighed to himself, realising the futility of any confrontation. While there was a part of him that longed to offer Tracey a piece of his mind, perhaps telling her to reconsider keeping her grey hairs or advising her to take a deep breath and a fucking chill pill, he chose to keep the peace instead. It was then he remembered that Miss Tracey had shown kindness when he first enrolled Saxon, waiving the setup fees out of compassion for his financial situation. It was a reminder that, despite her occasional sternness, she did in fact have a heart of gold beneath it all.

Louis couldn’t help but chuckle at her humour, acknowledging that yes, he might need to plan these visits more carefully in the future.

“Have a nice day.” Louis acknowledged with a courteous nod and a faint smile. A group of young girls to the left exchanged apologetic glances with Louis, a silent acknowledgment of the earlier disturbance.

As Saxon insisted on walking, they held hands, strolling together through towards the foyer.

Krystal arched her eyebrows, fully aware that Louis couldn’t resist making a comment about Tracey whenever they crossed paths, wait for it, wait for it. Yep, there it was. “How do you all put up with her, honestly?” he mused, curiosity dancing in his eyes.

The young girl standing beside Krystal, Susan, he thinks her name is, chuckled softly. “She’s perfectly fine with everyone else; it’s just you, I swear.”

Louis couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. “Someone has a crush, I reckon, Louis.” Krystal playfully suggested, prompting a hearty laugh from him.

He scrunched up his nose in mild disbelief. “No way, she does not. That’s, yeah, no.” Louis countered, full of scepticism. He listened to both Krystal and Susan chuckle before Saxon, tugging on his arm, prompted his departure.

“Bye, ladies.” Louis bid them farewell with a friendly wave and a warm smile.

In the carpark, attempting to buckle in Saxon proved to be quite a workout, as he expressed his fatigue and mild complaints after the morning’s adventures.

“Want grandma.” Saxon exclaimed, his pout evident in the rearview mirror as Louis glanced at him.

“Grandma is too far away, baby, she’s on holiday, remember.” Louis explained gently, his voice tinged with reassurance.

Louis’ mother, Jay, had embarked on a month-long vacation to the Bahamas, taking his siblings along with her. She had come into a small windfall thanks to a fortunate lottery win, and after using some of the money to help Louis get his car repaired, he decided to decline her offer to join the trip, grateful for the assistance she had already provided.

As Louis was only halfway home in his car, Saxon’s persistent pleas for ice cream began to wear on his nerves. He couldn’t understand why his usually resilient son was acting so fussy today. The relentless cries for frozen treats seemed to escalate, with no end in sight.

One, two, three, four, five, six… and finally, after seven requests, Louis relented. He spotted a nearby shop and pulled over, hoping that fulfilling Saxon’s desire might put an end to the incessant demands.

Saxon, however, took his time deciding on what he wanted. It was as though he had all the time in the world, despite the urgency he had displayed earlier. The shop’s ice cream selection was a tantalising array of colours and flavours, and Saxon’s indecision was palpable as he debated back and forth, changing his mind several times before eventually settling on a flavour, plain old boring vanilla. The whole process felt like an eternity to Louis as he had patiently waited for his son to make up his mind, reminding himself that a little patience went a long way with a young child.

The father and son duo stepped out of the ice cream shop, the delicious aroma of their frozen treats lingering in the air. In one hand, Louis deftly held two ice creams, while his other hand guided his energetic son.

The sun had broken through the clouds, casting a warm and inviting glow upon the scene. After the morning’s turbulent events, Louis was eager to make amends and brighten up their day. As they crossed the road, he spotted a playground off in the distance, a promising haven for a little boy’s restless spirit.

He knelt down to Saxon’s level, a gentle smile gracing his face. “How about we eat over there? Then you can have a play afterwards.” he suggested, his voice brimming with enthusiasm.

“Yay!” Saxon exclaimed, his joy palpable as he clapped his hands and hopped up and down. “Best daddy ever!”

However, in his excitement, Saxon turned abruptly, tugging on Louis’ hand and inadvertently bumping into a passerby. The stranger cast a disapproving glance their way, a scowl etched on their face.

“Sorry.” Louis quickly apologized to the man, his voice carrying a genuine tone of regret. He offered a brief, apologetic smile before turning his attention to Saxon, crouching down to be on the same eye level.

“You need to calm down, mister. You just bumped into that man.” Louis spoke firmly, his words aiming to teach his young son about the importance of being mindful of others.

However, he hadn’t intended for it to come out quite as harsh as it did, but in the midst of the day’s challenges, his patience had worn thin.

He sighed softly and ruffled Saxon’s hair, realizing that despite the hurdles they had faced that morning, he was still determined to make it a good day for them both. The countdown until the day’s end had already begun, but there was still time to create happy memories and turn things around.

They made the brief 15-meter walk from the ice cream shop to a charming playground. Louis selected a comfortable, rustic brown wooden bench seat, and as they settled down, he couldn’t help but notice the growing impatience in Saxon’s demeanor. His son’s eagerness for the promised treat was palpable, the ice cream already beginning to melt, creating small, sweet rivulets that trickled down Louis’ fingers.

Saxon, however, was blissfully content. Seated beside his father, he wore the most heartwarming of smiles. Their surroundings seemed to captivate him, and as he gazed around, his eyes filled with curiosity and wonder.

The sight of this particular playground captivated Louis, and in that moment, he found himself already wishing to return. This was a new discovery for them; they hadn’t explored this playground before. Their usual adventures had been confined to the smaller structure closer to their home.

As he indulged in a refreshing bite of his ice cream, he savored the view before him.

The playground is a lively and colorful space, designed to cater to the diverse needs of children.

At the center, a vibrant play structure stands tall, adorned with cheerful hues of red, blue, and yellow. Children climb, crawl, and slide down its numerous platforms and tunnels. The structure is a complex web of challenges and adventures, designed to keep young explorers engaged for hours.

Spread across the playground are swings, their metal frames glistening in the occasional British sunshine. The rhythmic creaking of swings provides a backdrop to the playful symphony of children’s laughter.

Wooden benches line the perimeter, where parents or guardians sit, watching their little ones enjoy the various activities. Flowers and plants in raised beds add a touch of greenery to the space, while a nearby path is often adorned with chalk drawings, showcasing the imaginative talents of the children.

In one corner, a small sandpit beckons young diggers and builders, offering a chance to create miniature castles and sculptures. Nearby, a colorful hopscotch grid is painted onto the ground, inspiring games of agility and balance.

The sounds of children’s voices, laughter, and occasional shouts of joy create an ambiance of pure childhood delight. It’s a place where friendships are formed, imaginations run wild, and the simple joy of outdoor play is cherished.

Louis was only halfway through his ice cream when Saxon, with his ice cream still clinging to his small delicate hand, leaned in for a cuddle. As he nestled into his father’s embrace, his mouth filled with sweet bites of food, and with a voice muffled by the delicious treat, he mumbled. “I love you so much, Daddy.”

What was meant to be a heartwarming, cute moment took an unexpected turn, quickly devolving into a battle to keep things clean as Saxon’s remaining scoop of ice cream tumbled into Louis’ lap. In an instant, the joy turned to shock and frustration.

“Saxon, for God’s sake!” Louis exclaimed, caught off guard by the mishap. Saxon, his big green eyes welling up with tears, jumped backwards, overwhelmed by the weight of his father’s reaction. His little voice quivered as he watched Louis scramble to rid his pants of the melting ice cream.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, Daddy. So, so sorry.” Saxon repeated, his apology laden with guilt and regret. Louis, still trying to mop up the sticky mess, didn’t recognize himself at that moment. He had never snapped at Saxon like this before, and Saxon, who was usually more resilient, had become unusually whiny today. It was as though they had slipped into an alternate universe, a day where everything seemed to go wrong, and the real world felt just out of reach.

Taking the ice cream from Saxon, Louis watched his usually vibrant son fall into a disheartened silence, his gaze fixed on the ground as if searching for answers. Kneeling down to Saxon’s level, Louis felt the weight of regret heavy on his shoulders, tainting the sweetness of their day.

“Hey, buddy, it’s fine.” Louis’ voice quivered with remorse. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” He reached out to caress Saxon’s shoulder, his touch conveying the depth of his apology.

Saxon’s eyes, still glistening with unshed tears, followed the movements of a younger mother as she allowed her child through the gate into the secured, sectioned-off play area. The lady carelessly left the gate ajar, and Saxon’s eyes silently pleaded with Louis.

“You can go in, but please be careful.” Louis began, his voice gentle yet laden with sorrow. “Just come and give me a hug first, and…”

But before he could finish, Saxon rose and walked slowly toward the gate, his expression carrying a profound sadness that tore at Louis’ heart. At that moment, Louis felt like a failure as a parent, a harsh reality he had never encountered during his two years of fatherhood. The day had spiralled into an unforeseen abyss of sadness, one he wished he could rewind and erase, for the memory of the ice cream incident and his harsh words seemed irreparable.

After ensuring the gate was properly secured, Louis returned to his seat, feeling the weight of the day’s events pressing down on him. As he settled back into his spot, he couldn’t help but notice the older lady seated across from him, her gaze carrying a disapproving look. Her judgement hung in the air, cast in a tone that was neither openly angry nor particularly kind.

“A sweet boy you have there.” she remarked, and the words were like a fragile bridge in the midst of his emotional turmoil. Louis was unsure of the woman’s intent. Was it a genuine expression of sympathy, or was it merely a passive-aggressive judgement? His emotions were in disarray, making it difficult to formulate a response. All he craved was a moment of respite to collect his feelings, to regain the strength to face the rest of the day.

As he sat there, still grappling with the earlier incident, Louis couldn’t help but feel a surge of vulnerability. It was a moment when a simple kind word from a stranger held the potential to mend a part of his bruised spirit, even if only momentarily.

Despite being seated only a mere couple of metres away from the secure play area and knowing that Saxon was well within its confines, Louis couldn’t help but cast frequent glances in his son’s direction. The inherent need to watch over his son was an instinctive reassurance. It was another demonstration of the unbreakable bond of parenthood, a silent vow to ensure Saxon’s safety and happiness, no matter how close or far apart they were, an unspoken promise to protect and cherish the precious life he had brought into this world.

They say in life that we shouldn’t avoid going against our better judgement or getting talked into things that don’t feel quite right. Intuition literally means, learning from within. Majority of us were never taught how to use or adapt to those feelings, but evidently we do learn to trust our gut feelings. If only Louis had listened and followed his own.

Instead, Louis, aware of his anxious need to keep an eye on Saxon, made a conscious effort to relax a bit. He reached for his phone and, with a sigh, allowed himself to dive into the digital world of social media. As he scrolled through his various social platforms, he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the same monotonous and often uninspiring content that seemed to dominate his timelines.

“Same old shit, different day.” he muttered under his breath, feeling a sense of detachment from the digital noise that surrounded him.

His thumb hesitated as it approached the Instagram app, which he rarely used and was not his preferred method of communication. Louis opened it, and the first picture he encountered bore an eerie resemblance to the one he had just seen on Twitter. It was a flicker of déjà vu.

Louis’ thumb began to move quickly, swiping through images as they whizzed across his screen. He ventured into the reels section and repeated the same process, his thumb almost slamming down to halt the scrolling when something unusual caught his eye. He lifted the screen slightly, convinced he must be seeing things.

“What the hell? No way… Is that… Harry?” The words escaped his lips in disbelief as he stared at the image on his screen, a mixture of surprise, curiosity, and a hint of nostalgia flooding his thoughts.

On the screen, a smile that he hadn’t seen in what felt like an eternity stretched before him. Those familiar dimples that had the power to turn his stomach inside out were on full display. As he studied the image, a bout of recognition grew stronger. The smile, the dimples, the green eyes, his brown hair - they mirrored not just any memory but the memory of a bond that had been shattered. It was as though a portal to the past had opened before him, connecting the dots between the man in the image and the little boy who held his heart - Saxon. It was like a glimpse into a world he had been truly missing.

But then reality hit him like a freight train. Saxon. Their son. This was it, an opportunity to connect with Harry, to bridge the gap between them. He needed to tell Harry about their little boy, to let him know he was a father.

Louis leaned in closer, intent on seeing who had posted the image, but in his anxious haste, as he quickly moved the screen with trembling hands, he accidentally refreshed the page.

“No, fuck!” He cursed out loud, frustration boiling within him as the one chance he had to reconnect with Harry slipped right through his fingers, just as it had all those years ago.

Louis was startled by a shuffling of noise across from him. He noticed the same old lady who had been seated there earlier, slowly but meticulously gathering her belongings. As she did so, she seized the opportunity to cast a disapproving shake of her head in his direction. It was clear that she wasn’t a fan of the language he had just used within the confines of a child’s playground. The stern look in her eyes told him all he needed to know about her opinion of his choice of words, again feeling ashamed of his own parenting today.

He looked back at his phone feeling defeated. The world was truly against him; he just knew it. There was no other explanation. Searching for Harry all those years ago was a nightmare and a disappointment then, why would it be any different now. The past had already left its mark on him, and he couldn’t help but wonder if history was doomed to repeat itself.

Searching for Harry before had been an emotionally gruelling experience. It had begun immediately after he found out he was pregnant, four weeks after returning home from London. As a desperate quest to reconnect with the person who had once left an imprint on his heart, Louis had scoured social media platforms typing in any last name he could think of with nothing but his fingers crossed. He sent countless messages and reached out to mutual friends who he thought may be helpful, but again was left with no leads.

Louis had never held onto hope as tightly as he did during those days. He was adamant, almost desperate, to reunite with Harry, his unwavering belief and endless faith of prayers allowing him to persevere and stay focused in a sea of uncertainty. He poured his heart and soul into the search, driven by an inexplicable force that wouldn’t let him give up.

For five long months, he made the pilgrimage to London, week after week, his resolve unyielding. He returned to the same bottle shop, strolled through the same garden, and stared up at the same eerie building where he had last seen Harry. But no matter how many times he repeated the ritual, no matter how many nights he stood there, Harry never reappeared.

Harry, was gone .

The crushing weight of disappointment pressed down on him, a constant companion on those lonely nights. His efforts had amounted to nothing, leaving him with a profound sense of loss that was impossible to shake. Each return to that hauntingly familiar place served as a poignant and painful reminder of a love that could have been, a love that Louis could have seen blossoming. But all visions of that happy ending were now appearing irretrievably lost.

The journey was marked by disappointment, false leads, and unfulfilled promises. Louis encountered countless dead ends and individuals who claimed to either know of, or where Harry was, only for their information to be unreliable or intentionally misleading. The frustration and heartache from these futile searches had taken a toll on Louis.

Ultimately, the search had concluded with no success, leaving Harry to remain an elusive figure from his past. The experience left Louis feeling defeated and resigned to the idea that some chapters of his life might just remain permanently closed.

Louis might not have Harry, but at least he still had a portion of him.

Louis locked his phone screen and gently slipped it back into his pocket, his heart brimming with love for his beautiful boy as he began his search, not realizing that the casual hunt would soon escalate into a heart wrenching desperate quest.

His eyes scanned the colourful playground, the backdrop to countless joyful moments he imagined they would share here in the near future. Saxon had always been a whirlwind of energy, exploring life with unbounded enthusiasm constantly seeking new adventures, and today, he guesses, would be no different.

The other parent and their child must have silently departed the playground, leaving Louis with the belief that Saxon was still absorbed in one of his regular hide-and-seek games. At first, he initiated his search with a sense of calm, his eyes slowly scanning the vibrant playground. The sun was casting a warm, golden hue over the playground, painting the play structures with a gentle, nostalgic glow.

The playground itself had been a realm of joy, an arena for childhood laughter, where Saxon’s boundless enthusiasm was most definitely creating new precious memories. Every piece of play equipment were all stages for Saxon’s imaginative escapades. As Louis gazed at these structures, his heart swelled with love for his little boy, and his search began as an affectionate quest, guided by memories of those joyful moments rather than the gnawing dread that was yet to come.

First, he checked the slide, leaning down to peer into the curving plastic tunnel. There was a momentary hope that Saxon would pop out, grinning mischievously, but nothing. Next, he inspected the rock wall, where he knew Saxon would without a doubt have been pretending to be Spider-Man, climbing and giggling along. Then, he moved to the little seesaw, where his laughter had once filled the air, only moments ago.

Louis’ heart skipped a beat when he reached the swings. Saxon loved to sway higher and higher, feeling like he was flying. He loved the sensation of soaring into the sky, but the swings remained still and motionless, and the playground seemed disturbingly silent, swallowing him up into his own private version of hell.

Louis continued his search, growing more frantic with each passing second. He called out Saxon’s name, believing his son might pop out from behind a tree or a bench, giggling playfully and happily, hoping to hear the familiar response of his son’s bubbly voice. But there was no response, no sweet laughter, no joyful, “I’m here, Daddy!” Instead, only silence met his desperate pleas.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl, the minutes stretching into an eternity. Panic clawed at the edges of his consciousness, and his pulse quickened. He retraced his steps, frantically calling Saxon’s name, fervently searching behind trees, benches, and slides, anywhere he thought his boy would cleverly hide.

The worry that had been a mere flicker now burned like a wildfire within him. And then, when he reached the main entrance, the gate remained closed, as it should have been, but the absence of his precious boy transformed his initial worry into an overwhelming sense of dread. His heart plummeted like a heavy stone. Saxon wasn’t there, and panic clenched him in its relentless grip. The gate may still have been closed, but his precious boy was nowhere to be found.

In the midst of the sunlit playground, a disorienting maze of colours and laughter, Louis’ heart pounded like a jackhammer. Panic had seized and over taken him now, with every beat of his heart seeming to echo his desperation. His cries for Saxon cut through the jovial noise of playing children off in the distance, shrill and tinged with fear.

“ No Boo, remember ! Saxon, love, this is not funny anymore, come on.“

He was an erratic blur amidst the cheerful chaos, shoving past the new kids that were entering, his voice growing hoarse as he repeatedly called Saxon’s name, over and over again. But there was no response, no sign of his little boy whatsoever.

The once-happy sounds of children playing became a cacophony of dread, deafening and cruel. Louis pushed through the little ones, their oblivious eyes in stark contrast to his own anguished ones. The weight of the world pressed down on him as he frantically searched, a cold ball of dread settling in his gut.

“ SAXON! Saxon, answer me PLEASE.“ His voice wavered as his frantic cries grew louder and more desperate. His eyes darted wildly, scanning under play structures, peering behind bushes, and exploring every hidden nook of the playground.

Louis was running on sheer adrenaline, his breath coming in ragged gasps. His body shook with fear and determination, tears blurring his vision, but he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t afford to stop. Every second that passed felt like an eternity, and the knot in his stomach tightened with each passing moment that he couldn’t lay eyes on him.

The playground had transformed into a realm of nightmares, every sunbeam a cruel reminder of his torment. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was losing his mind, that he would never find Saxon. His hands trembled, and his voice grew hoarse from shouting. His baby boy was missing, lost in the whirlwind of the playground, and his heart ached with a relentless, consuming anguish.

Panic gnawed at Louis’ insides as he rushed out of the enclosure and began searching nearby areas. He darted towards the toilet area and frantically scanned the garden space, his heart hammering in his chest. Desperation clawed at him with every passing second. Still, he wasn’t there.

“ SAXONNNN!“

Then he saw her-the young woman with the child, the same boy he had noticed earlier playing on the swings. With trembling hands and a voice laced with desperation, he approached her. “Hey, have you seen my little boy? He’s about this high.” Louis indicated his son’s height with a shaky hand, “brown hair. He was in the playground when you were in there.”

The lady’s face broke into a warm, friendly smile. “Yes, I saw him. He waved at us as we were exiting the yard.”

For a moment, hope sparked in Louis’ eyes. “You did? Did you happen to lock the gate behind you when you left? I can’t find him, and, oh God, I can’t find him!”

The woman’s smile faded, replaced by a look of concern. She glanced at her own child and then back to Louis, her eyes filled with empathy. “I did lock the gate, yes. I made sure of it. He watched as I locked it, then slid down the slide.”

Panic consumed Louis as he heard the woman’s words. She had seen Saxon, she had watched him when she locked the gate. Every detail she provided was etching deeper into his heart. The world around him seemed to crumble as his breaths came fast and ragged.

In desperation, he searched the woman’s eyes, hoping for more information, for some reassurance that everything would be fine. But her eyes held the same dread he felt.

Louis’ vision blurred as he muttered, “Please, we have to find him.” His voice trembled, tears welling up, threatening to overflow.

The lady, torn between concern and fear, clutched her own child closer. Her voice quivered as she replied, “I’m so sorry, we’ll help you look. He couldn’t have gone far.”

As her words sank in, Louis’ world came crashing down around him. He staggered back a step, a sense of impending dread closing in on him.

His breathing grew rapid and shallow, the world around him becoming a blur. Panic constricted his chest, and his heart raced with anguish. Each gasp for air was a stark reminder of the terror that gripped him.

“Please.” he begged, hyperventilating, tears blurring his vision. “I need to find my son. I can’t lose him. I CAN’T !” The frantic desperation in his voice resonated with the agony of a parent who had just lost their child.

But Louis was already running, back towards the playground. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions: terror, guilt, despair. The once-vibrant playground now seemed like a treacherous labyrinth, hiding his precious son from him.

He called out Saxon’s name, louder and more desperate than before, but there was still no response. Parents around him were beginning to take notice, and worried faces turned toward the frantic man.

“Please.” he cried to anyone who would listen, “help me find my boy!” His pleas were met with sympathetic nods and murmurs of support from passerbyers and commuters.

As Louis’ trembling fingers fumbled for his phone, his heart pounded in his chest like a drum of despair. Desperation seeped through his voice as he dialled Oli’s number. “Oli, I can’t find him.” he stammered, his words choked with fear and sorrow. “He’s gone. Saxon! We were at the playground near your work, and I turned away for just a moment, and now…” Louis sniffled. “ I can’t find him, Oli.“

He had called Oli in that moment of overwhelming panic, needing the voice of his trusted friend, the familiar sound of comfort. He pressed the phone to his ear, awaiting any words of reassurance or guidance.

But then, as if the universe had abandoned him, the line went dead. Louis stared at his phone with wide, tear-filled eyes, his fingers numb. The momentary connection to his friend, to the world, had been cruelly severed. He felt like he was teetering on the precipice of despair, staring into an abyss of unimaginable loss.

His surroundings blurred into insignificance as he was enveloped by a chilling void of despair. The world had crumbled, and he was left with nothing but the harrowing emptiness of loss. His beloved Saxon was gone, and Louis was adrift in a sea of helplessness.

Louis was now in the playground once more, running from one end to the other, searching under every structure, behind every tree, but there was still no sign of Saxon.

With each passing second, the knot of anguish in his chest tightened. He felt helpless, lost in a world of desperation and sorrow. His cries for his son grew more heart-wrenching, his voice hoarse and cracked.

The park had transformed into a nightmare, and Louis seemed to be trapped in a never-ending cycle of despair, searching frantically for his precious boy.

The realization that Saxon may indeed not be playing hide and seek fully sent his anxiety into overdrive. Was he lost within the confines of the playground or had something more sinister come into play? The thoughts struck him like a physical blow as he pulled at his hair.

“ I think you need to call the authoritites.“ The lady spoke as she continued to scan her eyes around the playground.

Louis had thought of doing so earlier but with his mishap this morning he hadn’t wanted to rush into it or jump to conclusions, because, one, Saxon might have just been hiding, and two, if Saxon was indeed found, the emergency number operators might take a unliking to him for once again wasting their time.

Louis is shaking so bad as he searches his pockets for his phone. “ Where is it, shit. SHIT! I dropped it back over there.“ The woman in front of him, kindly takes hold of his hands trying to calm him down.

“ Deep breath. Here, take mine.“ She offers, handing over her phone.

Louis rapidly keyed in 999 on his phone. As the call connected, he swallowed hard, trying to steady his voice.

“Police.” he managed to say to the automated message as his heart raced. Within seconds, he was speaking to a real operator.

“ My Saxon is gone, nearly two and small, I only looked away for a moment I swear and -“

As Louis’ voice trembled and his words tumbled out in a frantic rush, the operator on the other end of the line struggled to make sense of the situation. Louis was overwhelmed with parental fears and desperation, and his description was coming out in disjointed fragments, too overwhelmed to supply any constructive information.

The lady, Helene, standing next to him recognized his distress and gently took the phone from his shaky hands. She began speaking to the operator, providing the necessary details, calmly and clearly, to help in the search for young Saxon.

With composure and clarity, Helene provided the limited amount of crucial information that she knew to the operator. She relayed the necessary details: the child’s name, Saxon, his age two, and the location, Portside Playground in Doncaster. After being asked, she estimated the time that had passed since Saxon went missing, offering a rough timeframe.

“Okay, thank you.” she said, concluding the call, and then added her own name, Helene, for reference. It was a critical step in initiating the process to find young Saxon.

With the call ending, Helene, the woman who had tried to assist, reached out and grasped Louis’ trembling hands. Her touch was warm and comforting, a glimmer of humanity in the midst of his overwhelming distress. “The police have been alerted and dispatched. “ she reassured him.

As Louis stood there, his heart pounding within his chest like the relentless thud of a drum, his hands trembled uncontrollably. The bright, midday sun above did nothing to alleviate the gathering storm of despair that raged inside him. It was as if the heavens themselves were oblivious to the anguish that had taken root in his heart and soul.

As the woman tried to speak with him, Louis couldn’t comprehend her words. He was adrift in his own thoughts, consumed by the events of the day and the haunting image of his son’s sad, bewildered eyes when he had entered the secure play area alone. Every moment without Saxon felt like an eternity, and a deep sense of saddness clung to him, rendering him unable to focus on anything else. For however long it took, Louis stood there as tears cascaded down his cheeks.

In a crescendo of wailing sirens and flashing lights that fractured the tranquility of the surrounding reserve, not one, not two, but three police vehicles arrived into the ‘Portside Playground’. They had come with an urgency that matched the frantic tempo of Louis’ heartbeat. The blaring sirens and alternating red and blue lights created an eerie spectacle, casting a pulsating glow all around him. Panic welled up inside him, threatening to suffocate him with its icy grip.

The police officers, solemn and stern, emerged from their vehicles wearing their uniforms of authority, their expressions etched with concern. Each step they took on the sunlit ground seemed to echo with the weight of the world’s troubles. Their grim expressions mirrored the gravity of the situation, turning a picturesque playground into a stage for a heart-wrenching drama.

As the police officers approached, Louis felt like he was caught in a never-ending nightmare. The pain of losing his precious Saxon was a relentless storm, each crashing wave of despair threatening to drag him deeper into its unforgiving depths. Their presence felt like a cold, harsh reality check, a sheer reminder of the gravity of the situation. For a brief moment, the world seemed to stand still, as if holding its breath in anticipation of the unfolding tragedy.

It was as though a tempest of despair had swept through, and he was caught in the unforgiving eye of the storm.

The playground, once filled with laughter and innocence, now felt like a distant memory. The vibrant colors of the play equipment faded into a dismal gray. The swings swayed gently in the breeze, a haunting contrast to the turmoil raging in Louis’ heart.

Louis reached out, his hand trembling, wanting to grab hold of something, anything to anchor him in this nightmarish ordeal. But there was nothing to grasp, and the lifeline he desperately sought after seemed to have vanished into the cold thin icy air. As he stood at the precipice of a harrowing abyss, leaving him adrift in a sea of heartbreak and fear, he clung to the flickering hope that the arrival of the police would lead to his son’s safe return. But the unknown stretched out before him, a dark and uncertain void that seemed impossible to navigate.

In the heart-wrenching chaos of the moment, as Louis stood there trembling and overwhelmed, a familiar voice cut through his tumultuous storm of emotions. The universe, it seemed, had heard his desperate plea.

“Louis!”

His head snapped in the direction of the urgent call, his eyes filled with tears. There was Oli, rushing towards him, his butchers’ apron still tied around his waist, evidence of the ordinary world he had been part of just moments before, a somewhat peaceful world that still existed for some. The desperation in Oli’s eyes mirrored Louis’ own feelings of fear and helplessness as he panted to catch his breath.

“Louis, what is going on? Please tell me this is NOT happening.”

Oli’s arms enveloped Louis, pulling him into a desperate embrace. Louis held him tight, his voice quivering as he struggled to find any words. But his eyes remained glued to the sight of the police vehicles, an ominous reminder of the day from hell. The presence of law enforcement only amplified the horrifying reality of his son’s disappearance.

“ Good afternoon sir, my name is Detective Inspector Garcia and im here with Detective Sargent Reign. Are you the parent to whom’s son is missing?“

Louis nodded, blood oozing from his bitten lip as he looked to Oli. “ Yes, Please, please help me find him. Find my boy! “

No amount of words can express the pain a parent feels when they can not locate their children. Being a parent is learning about strengths that you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears that you didn’t know existed.

The worst and also most common, is not knowing if your child is hurt or in harm’s way, and/or if they are physically or mentally alright.

Louis, did not know the answer to either of those.

As Louis began to cry, the reality was undeniable:

Louis and Harry’s precious son Saxon, was offically missing.

🚨

A/N

Thoughts on storyline?

🫣

Where is Saxon ???

👀

Chapter 3 - Press

A/N

Sorry for the wait.

Just a quick reminder that I am no way affliated with law enforcement. I have no history or proper understandings of the way certain cases may be handled. This is a fictional story therefore there may be some terminology that isn’t correct or minor plot holes. If so, please pretend you didn’t notice them. 🤣

‘Your role as a parent is multifaceted. It encompasses not only loving your children unconditionally but also imparting vital life lessons, such as manners, respect, and, above all, love. However, one aspect often overlooked is the need to prepare them for life, including the inevitable reality that they will one day have to navigate the big wide world without us. What no one truly prepares parents for is that, regardless of the circumstances, we find ourselves unable to imagine a life without them, our children, as they are an intrinsic part of our very being.’

🚨

The first step of a missing child case is an initial report. This automatically begins when a parent, guardian, or concerned party reports a child as missing to the local law enforcement agency. Quick reporting is crucial as time is of the essence in such cases. They were diligent to take all of Louis’ details, including his name, his address, his age, every little detail about himself, the police now knew.

The first officer, a woman with a kind yet resolute demeanour, had started the interview with focused intent. 

“Sir, I’m Detective Inspector Garcia, and aside from leading the investigation into your son’s case, I’ll also be serving as a liaison officer. It’s my responsibility to ensure your well-being and keep you informed of any developments.  Assisting me is Detective Sargent Reign. We understand this is a distressing situation, but we need to gather as much information as possible to assist in locating your son, so we’re going to be asking you a lot of questions but know that all information will help us do our job. To start with, can you please tell me your son’s full name and his age?”

This was step two. A Preliminary Information Gathering: Officers will gather initial information, including the child’s name, age, physical description, and any available photographs. They’ll also collect details about where and when the child was last seen.

As he fights to maintain his composure, Louis drew a deep breath and steadied his voice. “His name is Saxon William Tomlinson, and he’s almost two years old.”  Saying that out loud makes Louis realise that, shit, he had forgotten that Saxon’s birthday is in less than two months.

The officer’s demeanour conveyed empathy, aware of the immense strain Louis was under, and the gravity of the whole situation. While Louis had spoken, his bottom lip quivered, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him, but he continued on, determined to provide the necessary information to assist in the search for his son.

The dectective persisted with questions, delving into the details of Saxon’s physical appearance. Louis felt his emotions intensify, making what would typically be a simple answer a formidable challenge. His stress and anxiety swirled, clouding his thoughts, but he knew he had to remain composed, for Saxon’s sake. 

“Can you describe his physical appearance, such as his height, hair and eye colour, and any distinctive features such as birthmarks that could help us in identifying him as well as what he was wearing when you last saw him?” Detective Sargent Reign inquired, his voice a gentle reminder that every detail could be vital in locating the child. 

Louis forced himself to speak, his words shaky but determined. “Saxon is about this high.” Louis gestured, indicating Saxon’s height. “With short brown hair, a little curly on the top and green eyes, bright green eyes like his fathers. He’s also quite small for his age and he has a very small birthmark on his right wrist, a light brown oval shape, and uhm, he was wearing a light blue t-shirt, a polo, with a picture of a dinosaur on it, red shorts, and little white sneakers with flashing lights on them.” 

The birthmark on Saxon’s wrist is a small, pale mark that has been present since birth. It’s about the size of a pea and is slightly darker in colour than the surrounding skin. This birthmark has always been a distinguishing feature on his right wrist, and Louis has often wondered whether Saxon had inherited it from Harry. But as much as he thought back to that blissful night so long ago, he can’t ever remember noticing a birthmark on Harry anywhere. The birthmark is like a little puzzle piece, a part of his son that Louis cherishes and hopes to see again soon, a tiny mystery etched on his wrist, a beautiful reminder of the child he loves so dearly, now lost and desperately sought after. 

Detective Sargent Reign, with his eyes fixed on Louis spoke soft and delicately. “Speaking of his other parent, has the father been notified, or are you, sir, the boy’s other parent?” He asked, turning his head slightly to look at Oli, who stood beside Louis.

Oli and Louis exchanged a quick, worried glance. Oli’s eyes widened as the officer’s question hung in the air. “No, sorry, I am not.” Oli responded his voice tinged with concern.

Detective Sargent Reign turned their gaze back to Louis and made a quick note on the pad. “And you are, sir?” The detective’s tone was professional yet empathetic, recognizing the distressing situation at hand.

He had no need to become anxious, but Louis sensed Oli’s discomfort as he knew Oli always felt uncomfortable around law enforcement, his increased perspiration evident as he rushed out his words. “Oliver, yeah Oliver Wright, but me mates call me Oli.” The man doesn’t look up, just continues to write and for some reason Louis feels like it makes him even more nervous as he begins to panic again as his eyes frantically search around him. 

“And where is it that you work Mr Wright?”

Oli looked behind him nodding his head south. “ Slice and Dice.“ The officer raised a single brow and Oli let out a nervous chuckle. “ Ah, it’s a butchery about three hundred metres away, see.“ He points to his company’s logo on his apron. 

There’s a moment of silence before the man speaks once again. “ Do you happen to have a phone number?“ 

Oli began to fidget as he rattled off his details. Louis bit at his nails as he watched yet another police car pull into the parking lot. There were now four cars in total and two other unmarked police vehicles, all with blue and red lights blazing. The other detective, the one who seemed a little more understanding and compassionate leaned in closer to Louis.   

The officers noted down the details in their notepads, while their colleagues began searching the playground and its vicinity.

The first officer’s tone remained empathetic yet businesslike. “Can you provide a detailed account of the last place you saw Saxon and what he was doing?”

Louis recalled the moment with a heavy heart. “We were in the playground. I mean, he was in the playground. I was sitting just over there.” Louis uses his index finger and points over towards the bench seat.  “He was playing on the slide, and he waved at me as he went down. I turned away for a moment to check my phone. When I looked back, he had disappeared. I searched the entire playground, but there was no sign of him.”

The second officer was busy coordinating with the rest of the team to expand their search efforts. “We have officers searching the area as we speak, and we’ve notified dispatch for additional support. Do you have a recent photo of Saxon that we can use to assist in the search?”

Louis quickly pulled out his phone and displayed a photo of Saxon to the officers. His hands trembled as he held the device, a deep sense of helplessness washing over him. 

The officers remained focused and professional, working diligently to gather the necessary information to help locate Saxon. They continued to reassure Louis that they were committed to finding his son and urged him to remain as calm as possible during this stressful and uncertain time. 

The detective looked at Louis with a sense of urgency. “Thank you. Can you send that photo via email immediately to this address here please, so we can distribute it to our team? In the meantime, please stay put. We will be back shortly.” Louis extended his arm and collected the business card.

“Mr. Tomlinson, is there any additional information that could be relevant to the immediate search? For example, any custody issues or individuals with a grudge who might have taken your child due to personal animosity?”

Louis simply shook his head in response as the sergeant and detective turned away to speak with other officers. He had no intention of going anywhere without finding his son. He turned to Oli, who was in the process of lighting a cigarette.

“Did they really think I’d leave here without my son? I’m such an idiot, Oli. I should have been watching him. I should have gone into the playground with him. If I had just put my phone away… If I had—oh God, I snapped at him, Oli.” Louis broke down, tears flowing freely as Oli wrapped his arms around him tightly.

Tears streamed down Louis’ face as he continued. “I was on the damn phone, and he wandered off, and I snapped at him when I should have been protecting him. Now he’s gone, Oli, and I don’t know where he is. I don’t know if he’s scared or hurt, and I just want him back.”

Oli held Louis even tighter, understanding the weight of his grief and guilt.

“He was so upset with me, and I yelled at him several times, and…” 

Oli’s arm gently stroked Louis’ back to offer support. “Louis, don’t do this to yourself please. This is not your fault.”

The weight of despair pressed heavily on Louis as he felt increasingly confined. It was impossible not to notice a young police officer gradually edging closer, clearly tasked with keeping a watchful eye on him.

“ This is bullshit.“ Louis protested with frustration.

“I just want to hold my baby, Oli. Where is my little boy?” Louis was becoming emotionally drained as he clung back to Oli, his tears flowing freely. His anguish and desperation became palpable as he collapsed to the ground, overwhelmed by the magnitude of his pain.

The distant chatter of walkie-talkies filled Louis’ ears, with snippets of phrases like ‘dispatch,’ ‘missing,’ ‘yes, sir,’ and ‘on it’ swirling around him. The cacophony was disorienting, and suddenly, Louis felt an overwhelming rush of panic. 

It’s all starting to make his head spin and suddenly Louis feels so flustered, his cheeks burning like they are on fire as he becomes extremely lightheaded.

Despite the turmoil he felt, Louis’ mind relentlessly urged him to act, to rise and search for his missing child. He scrambled to his feet, breaths coming fast and shallow. “I have to find him, Oli.” he gasped out, eyes wide with fear. “I need to look for him. Damn it, Oli, why are the police just standing here? Why aren’t they out there yet?!” He yelled.

His raised voice drew the attention of many around him, his desperation echoing in the tense commotion of the busy atmosphere.

A much younger man, presumably in his mid-twenties, approached Louis with clear intent. His hand rested on his holster, and the other was held up defensively. “You need to calm down, right now.” he ordered sternly.

Louis examined the young officer with a critical eye giving him a thorough look over. His short, bleached blonde hair appeared dishevelled, and his choice to wear sunglasses while on the job seemed disrespectful, deviating from the expected dress code. What irritated Louis even more was the relentless gum chewing, making him want to give the officer a piece of his mind and maybe even a punch to the face if he didn’t stop rudely slurping his saliva like that. “Are you fucking for real?” Louis began to retort, his frustration evident. 

But before he could continue, a voice interrupted him, one he was familiar with now.

Garcia frowned at the rookie, signalling her disapproval of his attitude, her expression communicating her disapproval of his tone and arrogance. She assertively addressed him firmly. “PC Wakefield, I’ll handle this. I’ll take it from here.” Her authoritative demeanour left no room for argument. Though the young officer initially resisted by puffing out his chest displaying a hint of defiance, her experience and authority quickly deflated his ego. He acknowledged that it was probably wise for him to step aside and let Garcia take charge in this crucial situation. Her reputation for handling emotionally charged cases, built on years of expertise, made her the natural leader in responding to the child’s disappearance. 

Additionally, Garcia plays a supervisory role, ensuring that other officers on the scene are handling the situation appropriately and following procedures. She might also take charge of coordinating search efforts and making decisions regarding resource allocation to maximise the chances of finding the missing child.

Her role is not only to serve as a law enforcement officer but also as a compassionate and empathetic liaison between the distraught parent and the search team. She is trained to handle these difficult situations with care and professionalism.

“My deepest apologies Mr Tomlinson, please join me.” Garcia gestured towards a nearby picnic table, her professional demeanour softened by a touch of understanding for his anguish.

Louis nodded as Oli stepped back and leaned against a piece of play equipment.

Louis followed her to the table, his steps heavy with worry. They sat down, the smooth wooden surface providing a moment of respite amidst the chaos that surrounded them. Louis found himself seated across from the police officer, the gap between them filled with unspoken apprehension and the unrelenting ache of uncertainty.

In the heart of the playground, Garcia’s professional yet empathetic voice reached out to Louis. She respected the situation and wanted to provide a more personal level of their interaction.

“Mr. Tomlinson.” she began, addressing him formally. “May I call you Louis? It may make our conversation a bit more comfortable during this challenging time.” Her measured tone conveyed her empathy and understanding.

Garcia then proceeded to inform Louis about the ongoing search efforts, acknowledging that Detective Sargent Reign might not have provided him with the latest details. She explained, “I understand that you might not have been updated on the search operation yet. We are currently in the process of forming a dedicated search team, and they will be dispatched to help and try and find your son. Please know that we are fully committed to locating him and bringing him back to you safely. Unfortunately, these things take a little bit of time trying to prepare.” 

Her words were carefully chosen to maintain professionalism while offering comfort to a grieving parent facing an unimaginable ordeal. However, Louis’ eyes wandered restlessly around the now eerie playground, unable to truly grasp her comfort.

The playground, once a symbol of childhood innocence, now felt like a desolate wasteland. Its swings swayed in the wind with an eerie creak, as if mourning the laughter that had once filled the air. The slides, once a source of thrilling adventure, now stood silent, frozen in time. Louis’ heart ached as he stared at these lifeless structures, their emptiness mirroring the void within him.

The experienced police officer remained composed. “ There’s not much more you can do here, Louis. “ She gently stated, addressing the distressed father slowly and carefully. “ I understand how difficult this is, but it might be best if you head home and try to get some rest. We have a dedicated team working to find your son.“ Her voice was calm and measured, carrying the weight of extensive background training. 

It was a suggestion offered with the intention of helping Louis, her suggestion to leave, to go home and rest, jolted Louis out of his emotional haze, and he was seized by an onset of panic. The mere thought of stepping away from the place where he had last seen Saxon was unbearable. He shook his head vigorously, rejecting the notion with a fierce determination. It was as though leaving this place would be an act of abandonment, an acknowledgment of the possibility he couldn’t bear.

“No, I can’t leave. I won’t leave without him!” Louis responded with unwavering resolve, his voice quivering. His eyes remained fixed on the play structures, as if his unwavering stare could manifest Saxon’s safe return. “ I can help, no disrespect but you are totally fucking mad if you truly believe for one second that I would leave this place without my boy. “ Louis gave zero fucks about using profanity in the presence of law enforcement.  

Garcia maintained her empathetic demeanour, understanding his pain, and she continued to gently explain that professionals would handle the search more effectively. Her words attempted to provide him with some solace, to remind him that he wasn’t alone in this crisis. She knew that as a father, Louis’ every instinct screamed at him to stay in the place where he had last seen his son. 

As she continued to speak their conversation was abruptly cut short by a cry from somewhere within the playground. A voice, filled with a mix of urgency and excitement, shouted. “I think I found something!” The declaration rang out like a beacon of hope, piercing through the heavy atmosphere that had enveloped Louis and Garcia. The words acted as a lifeline in the vast, turbulent sea of his despair.

Their eyes met, both individuals silently acknowledging the shared glimmer of hope. Louis’ heart raced, and a rush of anticipation surged through him, filling the emptiness created by his grief. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, a glimmer of light appeared on the horizon, a spark of hope that ignited within Louis, dispelling the darkness, even if only for a moment.

Louis sprinted with desperation, each step becoming a frantic beat in the chaotic symphony of his heart. The world blurred around him as he charged forward towards the direction that everyone was headed, hurdling over small bushes in his path. Breathless and gasping, he ventured through an exit gate and descended into the shadowed embrace of the park’s woodlands. The sombre canopy of trees above seemed to close in around him, as if nature itself conspired to hide the truth he longed to find.

As he drew nearer to the epicentre of the search, a wall of officers, firm and unyielding, stretched out their arms to block his way. Their faces reflected a mixture of concern and determination, mirroring the emotional tempest within Louis. He could feel the weight of their collective will, their shared commitment to finding his son, yet their touch on his arm became a symbol of the boundaries he couldn’t cross. His chest heaved, every gasp a prayer for his son, as he met their resolute gazes with frustration.

“ Let me see, let go of me, please for god sakes get your hands off of me!“ 

As expected, Louis was all over the place, his feelings shifting rapidly. Hope surged within him, like a fragile bloom seeking the sun, at the prospect of a new lead, their  only  lead. But with hope came fear, a cold shadow that clung to his heart, terrorising his thoughts with the unknown. Yet, beneath it all simmered a quiet anger, the frustration of being so close yet so far, unable to inch any nearer to the truth. Each emotion painted a complex tapestry across his face, reflecting the tumultuous storm of his soul.

“ Can someone contain him properly, please.“ A voice came from afar, but it was anyone’s guess as to who it was. 

PC Wakefield took delight in stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Louis tightly holding him in a forceful grip. 

“ Louis, please listen to me. Allow us to do our job. Just breathe, in and out, that’s it. “ Garcia motioned.

It was then Oli finally joined his side, he too trying to peek, trembling just like Louis himself. “ Come on.“ Oli slightly pulled him back making sure to keep an arm wrapped around him for support. 

Detective Sargent Reign was the first one to approach the officer who had found a suspected clue. He saw Reign bend down, and abruptly stand, his hand going straight for his walkie talkie. The look on the man’s face told Louis enough as Reigns’ words shook Louis to his inner core. 

“Issue a child rescue alert immediately. We have a source of DNA, there is blood on the scene.”

The weight of this revelation bore down on him like a colossal burden, his knees growing weak, trembling beneath him, threatening to give way at any given moment. A cold, clammy sweat clung to his skin, completely opposite to the hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Louis’ world unravelled at the mere suggestion of immediate danger, something now more sinister than just Saxon treading off alone. 

Time seemed to slow, as if the universe itself conspired to amplify his agony. Every breath he took was a struggle, each inhalation feeling like a desperate gasp for air. It was an unbearable torment, a relentless nightmare that consumed him entirely, the fear of the unknown cutting through his heart like a jagged blade.

A relentless force now crushed any remaining hope he had left. It felt as though every inch of air had been sucked out of him, leaving him gasping for a breath. Tears blurred his vision, and his legs wobbled beneath the unbearable weight of anxiety. The notion of his child facing harm sent shockwaves of fierce pain through him. In that harrowing moment, Louis was paralysed by a grief so profound it felt like the very essence of his life had been destroyed. 

The fear that gripped him was visceral, a heart-wrenching torment that began to suffocate him as he watched the rush of officers now move promptly around him. 

The playground was bathed in the soft, eerie glow, and Louis’ heart pounded in his chest as he stared at the dark crimson stain on the ground. Panic had taken ahold of him, and he couldn’t comprehend the chaos unfolding around him.

“Child Rescue Alert! Amber Alert!” He heard the urgent cries of officers and investigators as they rushed back and forth, and he didn’t understand what these terms meant. All he knew was that his child was missing, and fear gripped him like a vise.

As Louis stood there, bewildered, and frightened, Garcia, the compassionate liaison and supervisor on the case, approached him. She could see the turmoil in his eyes and knew he needed answers, needed to understand what was happening. She reached out and gently pulled him aside, away from the frenzied scene.

“Louis” she began, her voice gentle and steady, “I know this is incredibly frightening for you. Your child is missing, but we’re doing everything we can to bring him back safely, I promise.”

Louis, with his voice trembling, finally found the strength to speak. “I don’t understand… What do those terms mean? What’s happening? Did he say blood, oh my god, he said blood didn’t he!” 

Garcia took a deep breath, her eyes filled with empathy. She knew she had to explain to Louis the terminology that had been thrown at him.

“Louis, please try to listen to me, I know its difficult but I need you to understand. The Child Rescue Alert and Amber Alert are emergency notification systems” she began, her words measured and reassuring. “They are designed to mobilize the public, media, and law enforcement to help locate missing children. In this case, your child.”

Louis nodded, the information slowly sinking in.

“The Child Rescue Alert and Amber Alert are being issued because we believe your child’s safety is at imminent risk.” Garcia continued. “It’s a way to unite communities in the pursuit of your child’s safe return. Right now, we’re verifying that your child is missing, under 18 years of age, and we believe there’s a real danger to his well-being.”

Louis listened intently, trying to absorb the overwhelming situation.

“What kind of information do you share?” he asked.

Garcia went on to explain. “The alert typically includes a description of your child, any details about the suspected abductor if known, any information about a vehicle involved, and the circumstances of the abduction. We’ll use various channels, like radio, TV, text messages, and social media, to get this information out to the public.”

Louis, though still terrified, was starting to grasp the process.

“What about all these people nearby?” he inquired.

“That’s an important part.” Detective Inspector Garcia said, her voice filled with understanding. “These alerts can be localized, meaning they’re sent to specific regions or communities where we believe your child might be. It ensures that people in the immediate vicinity are on the lookout.”

Louis’ anxiety was still palpable, but now he had a better understanding of the steps being taken to find his child.

“So, this whole process is like a collaboration?” he asked.

Garcia nodded with a reassuring smile. “Yes, exactly. We work with law enforcement agencies, broadcasters, transportation agencies, and wireless carriers. It’s a team effort to get the word out as quickly as possible. Time is crucial, and we’ll issue the alert as soon as we meet the criteria to maximize the chances of finding your child unharmed.”

Louis felt a heavy weight on his shoulders, but he was resolute. “Do whatever it takes, I just want my baby back.” 

Garcia placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “We will, Louis. Every second counts, and we’re in this together.”

Detective Sargent Reign’s actions were methodical, his gloves a symbol of the seriousness now being enforced by those around him. He carefully picked up the tiny object from the ground, gently allowing it to fall into the sterile, transparent bag. As the detective held it up, the crushing truth unravelled before Louis, causing his world to fracture. The word “No” escaped his lips, filled with anguish and disbelief. In his disoriented state, his coordination faltered, and he stumbled backwards, landing hard on the ground. He repeated the word “No” like a mournful refrain, his voice quivering with heartbreak as he witnessed Saxon’s beloved “broom broom” being passed over to the evidence crew, a symbol of innocence and joy now completely tainted.

Louis remained suspended in a world of stunned hushed disbelief. He had lost track of time, unsure of how long he had sat there, his thoughts paralysed by the unimaginable. The only coherent fragment that reached his ears amidst the commotion was the word “blood” sending a shock of terror through him and temporarily zoning him out.

As if jolted awake from a trance, Louis snapped back to the grim reality that now surrounded him. The world he had once known had undergone a profound transformation during his moments of internal torment. The blazing sun that had borne witness to their happiness earlier that morning had surrendered to the sombre embrace of night, leaving the air frigid and unforgiving. Strangely, he felt the reassuring presence of a blanket, carefully laid over his shoulders as though by an unseen silent guardian. Beside him, a bottle of water stood, a silent testament to the care shown in his absence.

His eyes wandered across the altered landscape, once teeming with the joyous sounds of children at play, now shrouded in absolute chaos. The area, which was an entirely different sight only hours ago, makes him baffled at how much things had changed. 

The area now resembled a surreal scene from a nightmare. Yellow caution tape crisscrossed the area like an intricate web, marking off certain boundaries. The harsh red and blue police lights cast an eerie and unsettling glow, and amidst the dark backdrop, a swarm of people had congregated, their collective presence suffused with a mix of morbid curiosity and empathy. Their faces were illuminated by the flashing lights creating a haunting, ghostly atmosphere. News crews had converged like vultures, their vans, equipped with blinding white lights, punctuating the disconcerting environment. The microphones, now wielded as instruments of interrogation, added to the sense of intrusion.

The distant barking of dogs added an extra layer of anxiety, echoing the frenzied urgency. Louis squinted and focused on the dense line of officers, standing shoulder to shoulder, their powerful torches illuminating the otherwise pitch-black woods. Like a steadfast wall of hope, they descended through the trees, their unified efforts cutting through the darkness in search of the missing boy. 

“Louis, Louis, can you hear me?” Oli’s voice cut through the haze that surrounded Louis, but it seemed as though he was lost in a world of his own. His vacant stare bore through Oli, a look that sent shivers down his spine. Something was dreadfully wrong, and Oli could feel his heart racing with fear. Louis’ whole body was trembling, perspiration sliding down the sides of his face and yet Louis remained in a state of numbness. 

“Help, please, someone help him!” Oli cried out, desperation seeping into his voice. He knew that something had to be done, and quickly. 

Oli’s hand continued to gently rub Louis’ back as he waited, a feeble attempt to bring him back from the distant place his mind had retreated to. He watched as an ambulance pulled into the parking lot. A paramedic, their uniform illuminated by the red and white lights, hurried over to Louis through the crowd, their trained eyes assessing the situation.

Louis remained in a state of semi-consciousness, his focus drifting away from the surrounding chaos. As the paramedics worked quickly, Oli found himself acutely tuned in to the medical jargon echoing around them. The terms that peppered the air sent shivers down Oli’s spine, with phrases like “Primary survey” “Psychological assessment” and “Dissociation” evoking an overwhelming sense of helplessness.

The weight of unfamiliar medical terminology hung heavily in the atmosphere, especially when words like “Drug administration protocol” and “Intramuscular injection” were uttered, emphasizing the severity of the situation and the urgency of medical intervention. Oli struggled to maintain his composure, understanding that these complex terms were pieces of a puzzle meant to help Louis, even as the circumstances felt increasingly dire.

Desperation gnawed at Oli, and he finally couldn’t contain himself any longer. He approached one of the paramedics, his voice trembling with fear.

“What’s happening to my friend?” Oli demanded his eyes wide with concern. “Is he going to be okay?”

The paramedic, a model of calm professionalism, met Oli’s gaze. “Your friend is experiencing Sympathetic acute stress disorder (ASD). It’s a response to a terrifying, traumatic experience. Louis has had an excessive release of adrenaline and norepinephrine into his nervous system, which is causing the symptoms you’re seeing.”

Oli’s fear gave way to confusion as he tried to understand.

“Sympathetic acute stress disorder? What does that mean? And what are you doing to him?” Oli asked, seeking answers.

The paramedic explained, “It’s a response that’s hardwired into our biology. It’s the ‘fight or flight’ response that helped our ancestors survive dangerous situations. Louis is currently experiencing a psychological and physical reaction to the trauma he’s been through. To help him, we’re going to administer benzodiazepines. These will help alleviate his acute anxiety and agitation. After that, we’ll arrange for follow-up care and counselling to address the underlying psychological trauma.”

Oli nodded, trying to absorb the information. The paramedics worked swiftly, injecting Louis with the medication that would help him find some relief from the overwhelming distress he was experiencing. Oli stood by, his concern for his friend still evident, but with a glimmer of hope that the medical intervention would make a difference.

Oli paced back and forth, his heart pounding in his chest as he watched Louis being carefully laid down. The paramedic swiftly prepared the injection, and Oli’s anxiety grew with each passing second. Ten milligrams of medication were drawn into the syringe and then injected into Louis’ upper arm.

The medicine was Diazepam, commonly known as Valium, from the benzodiazepine family. It acted as an anxiolytic, a means to relieve anxiety and stress. The urgency of the situation required swift action, and the injection was the fastest way to provide Louis with some relief.

As the medication began to take effect, Oli listened closely to the paramedic’s explanation, trying to understand the situation.

The kind older man explained. “Louis is suffering from disassociation. Dissociation is a mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, identity, consciousness, or perception of reality. It often occurs as a defence mechanism to protect an individual from overwhelming stress, trauma, or distressing experiences.”

Oli felt a knot tighten in his stomach as he realized the depth of Louis’ distress.

“When someone experiences dissociation.” the paramedic continued, “they might feel detached from their body or emotions, as if they’re observing themselves from the outside. It can manifest in various forms, from mild daydreaming to more severe dissociative disorders.”

Oli nodded, his concern for his friend deepening. He watched as the medication began to take effect, hoping that it would bring Louis the relief he so desperately needed. The process was daunting, but he understood that it was a necessary step toward helping his friend recover from the trauma that had left him in such a vulnerable state.

🚨

The playground had transformed from a place of happiness into a bewildering maze where Saxon had inexplicably disappeared. The unknown stretched before them like a vast, ominous abyss, but Louis, who was now relaxed yet still concerned for his boy, took comfort in the dedication and expertise of the police officers who were determined to bring his son back to him safety…..well so he prays at least. 

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives, directly put us onto the path to the best things that will ever come our way, but at what cost is the real question. 

As its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake, fear of disappointing others, and fear of success. There is no way to be the perfect parent, but there are a million ways to be a good one, and yet Louis currently feels like he has failed every single one of them.

Unfortunately, for Louis, things were not looking upwards.

🚨

Louis can vividly recall the heart-wrenching instant when his life seemed to crumble into ruins. The blurred memory of being gently ushered into an ambulance and settling onto a stretcher bed is eclipsed by the profound sense of emptiness that engulfs him. As he disembarks the vehicle, the pandemonium around him has intensified, and although he feels physically calmer, the medication has done little to alleviate the suffocating ache in his chest.

“Thank goodness, you had me worried there for a while. Are you feeling any better? Here, have some water, please.” Oli had turned away from the officer he was speaking with, tucking his phone into his pocket, glad to see his best friend lucid again. The world moves around Louis, but he feels detached, like a spectator to his own anguish. He takes the offered bottle of water, grateful to quench his parched throat.

“I managed to reach your mother. She’s on her way back from her trip now. She’s a crying mess and I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to call her, but…” Oli’s voice trails off as Louis offers a feeble smile. “No, thank you.” Louis responds, his voice trembling. “I hadn’t even thought to call her. Have they found him yet? Any news, anything?” There’s a sudden shift in Louis, the once frenzied and desperate father now teetering on the brink of emotional collapse, clinging to any sliver of hope.

Detective Reign’s approach shatters the fragile bubble of hope that Louis had been clutching onto. “Sorry to intrude, may I have a word?” The words are heavy with the weight of bad news. Louis nods, his throat constricting, unable to form words, as he struggles to maintain his composure.

The detective proceeds to explain to Louis that the blood they discovered has undergone rigorous testing by their forensics team, and the results have confirmed their deepest fears. His voice, though calm and professional, feels like a cruel twist of a knife. “The DNA analysis was conclusive.” Reign begins, and Louis can feel the ground beneath him shifting. “It’s a match.” Tears threaten to spill from Louis’ eyes, but he holds them back, his heart heavy with dread.

Detective Sergeant Reign continues, offering a thin veneer of reassurance. “Even though the amount of blood we found was minimal, akin to that of a papercut, it is still of great concern.” Louis’ hands tremble, as he clings to the edge of his sanity. “Shortly, we would like your consent for a press conference where the police will address the public.”

The world around Louis becomes vague as the weight of this revelation bears down on him. Colors, sounds, and faces blend into an indistinct whirlwind. Everything around him seems to spin, the flicker of hope he’d been holding onto, that fragile ember of optimism, is cruelly snuffling out, leaving behind only an abyss of crushing despair, deeper and darker than he could have ever imagined.

“DNA match? How did—”

Before Louis could even finish his question, the detective begins scrolling through pages upon pages of paperwork in his hands. “Ah, here. Earlier, when you consented to the mouth swab test.” the detective explains “You signed and agreed to the testing, and…”

A dawning realization washes over Louis as he recalls signing those documents. He’d been so disoriented and emotionally overwhelmed at the time that it had slipped his memory. The papers in the detective’s hands become a tangible reminder of the decisions he made, now connecting him to this devastating truth.

Reign’s voice wavers slightly as he continues. “About the press release, oh, hang on a moment, my apologies.” He takes a few steps towards where Garcia is, whispering into her ear before Garcia herself returns over to Louis. Garcia then gestures for him to take a seat.

“It’s just gone six pm Louis, and I’m truly sorry for what’s happening to you.” Garcia explains gently, her empathetic eyes locked onto his. “but so far, our search efforts haven’t yielded any results. The entire team believes it’s time for a press conference. Detective Sergeant Reign will address the public, and it’s important that we act swiftly to make tonight’s evening news.” Louis feels the gravity of the situation pressing down on him, and the thought of facing the public and the media intensifies the emotional turmoil within.

“Now, what we need from you is a verbal and written signature to go ahead confirming you allow for Saxon’s picture to be broadcasted. Detective Sergeant Reign is brilliant in this line of communication. You yourself do not need to address the camera, not now at least.” 

In this situation, Garcia’s main focus is on obtaining his consent while reducing the pressure of a public appearance.

“Yes, go ahead with everything. I don’t care about any of it; I just want him back in my arms. It’s getting cold, and I left his jumper in my car. Oh, bloody hell, he gets asthma in the cold night air. I can’t believe I forgot to tell you this; I’m so sorry. I-”

“Louis, it’s alright. It’s understandable that things may have slipped your mind. Look at me. You’re being incredibly strong for your little boy, and that’s exactly what he needs right now. Now, before we proceed, do you have any other questions or concerns?”

Louis wipes at his eyes discarding the built up tears. “No.”

“Alright. Is there anything else you may need? A coffee, maybe some food?”

Louis looks at her, his eyes piercing right through her.

“What I need, is for you to find my son.”

🚨

The playground has been transformed into a somber and intense setting. Floodlights positioned on tall stands, cast harsh brilliant beams of light that illuminate the area, creating stark shadows. These lights, despite their brightness, fail to dispel the feeling of gloom that hangs in the air.

At the center of the playground, there’s a makeshift stage, a raised platform equipped with microphones and speakers. The microphones are lined up in a row, their slender stems pointing towards the large and unmissable speakers that are ready to project spoken words across the park.

A cluster of cameras and media personnel are huddled together just beyond the platform. The camera operators, lenses affixed to their equipment, focus their attention on the stage, ready to capture every moment. Reporters from various news outlets hold their microphones, eager to ask questions once the conference begins.

The media presence is palpable, their anxious energy adding to the already tense atmosphere. White vans are parked nearby, extending satellite dishes into the night sky to ensure seamless broadcasting.

Amidst this flurry of activity, law enforcement officers are scattered throughout the area, maintaining security and order as their uniforms and badges glisten under the harsh lighting.

The playground, at this late hour, stands eerily deserted except for the attendees. The surrounding trees are swaying gently in the nights breeze, casting long wavering shadows that seem to whisper secrets of the night.

Overall, it’s a haunting juxtaposition, a place meant for play and laughter now the backdrop for the heartfelt plea of a missing child’s family. The scene is heavy with emotion and anticipation, waiting for answers that may bring solace or anguish.

Detective Sergeant Reign steps up to the podium, facing the gathered media, while Louis nervously sways beside Oli off to the side of the stage.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We’ve called this press conference today to provide an update on our ongoing efforts to locate a missing person. We understand the concern and anxiety this situation has caused within our tight community, and we want to assure you that finding this individual is our top priority.”

Oli is stroking Louis’ back as Louis stands frozen in time watching the way the detective delivered the news, the media personnels all listening intently, their microphones held out ready to ask their questions.  

Reign, cleared this throat. “The missing person is Saxon Tomlinson, who is almost two years of age. He has brown hair, green eyes, and-” 

As Reign continued to describe his clothing, Louis let his head fall into his hands as he violently sobbed, turning inwards towards Oil to shield his face into Oli’s comforting embrace. Unbeknownst to both of them, a woman from a nearby BBC news crew, moved by the heart-wrenching scene, discreetly turned her camera on, capturing the raw and emotional moment. 

“Saxon, was last seen here in this vicinity ‘The Portside Playground’ today the 28th September at approximately 1.30pm. We’re providing a recent photograph to the media, and it will be available on our website for your reference and right now on your television screen.”

Louis cannot even face the Detective or the media anymore as his body finally manages to cave in as he slides down Oli’s body collapsing to the ground as he cries uncontrollably. He wasn’t waking up from this nightmare, this horrible dream was in fact reality, a harrowing terror that was unfolding before his very eyes. He clutched Oli’s legs as he listened to Reign, Oli lowering down to cuddle him tightly.  

“Our investigative team has been working tirelessly to follow up on leads, gather evidence, and interview witnesses. We’ve also deployed search teams in the area. Our primary goal is to reunite Saxon with his family as soon as possible.”

An explosive eruption of noise burst from the press, with a barrage of questions pouring in all at once, as they struggled to be heard over one another. Detective Reign raised his hands in a commanding gesture, urging them to regain their composure and silence so that he could continue.

“But we can’t do this alone. We’re asking for your help. If you have any information about Saxon’s whereabouts or if you’ve seen anything unusual or suspicious around the time of his disappearance, please contact our dedicated tip line located on the screen or call 999 to speak to an officer. No piece of information is too small, and your tip could be the key to solving this case.”

Tears stream down Louis’ face, his chest heaving with sobs as he rocks himself back and forth in a desperate attempt to soothe the pain that clenches at his heart. Louis is suffocating…

With the burden of a thousand emotions that he cannot escape, he hears his soul being crunched over and over and he feels each and every one of them.

His mind is consumed with memories of happier times- of laughter and warmth that already now feel like a lifetime ago. The bitter reality of his missing son is slowly sinking in, replacing the numbness with a sharp, piercing ache. Although Oli is there, he can’t help but feel so alone, and so lost. 

As he continues to rock back and forth, Louis’ thoughts drift to the one person who had been the center of his world- the person who loved him unconditionally and brightened up his darkest days. But now, that person is currently gone, leaving him stranded in a world which no longer makes any sense to him. 

“We also want to remind the community to be cautious and vigilant, especially when it comes to the safety of your loved ones. Please follow any safety recommendations we provide. Your safety is our concern. In the following days, we will continue our search efforts and keep you updated through regular briefings and updates on our website and social media channels. We appreciate your cooperation and support during this difficult time. Thank you for your attention. Together, we can make a difference. Let’s bring little Saxon home safely.”

With each passing second, Louis’ body shakes with the intensity of his grief, and he lets out a howl of despair that echoes all around him. The pain is unbearable, and he has never felt so broken in his entire life.

As the darkness of the night engulfs him, Louis feels a sense of hopelessness wash over him. To Louis, until Saxon returns, the sun has forever lost its shine, and he is left with an emptiness that is too unbearable. He knows that the road ahead is going to be hard and that the nights and days will no doubt be long, but for now, he allows himself to momentarily grieve, to mourn what feels like a loss of the one person who meant everything to him.

🚨

Saturday 28th September 2024

11am (LA) - 7 hours behind Doncaster local time. 

In the midst of the sprawling metropolis of Los Angeles, the incessant urban symphony plays on. It’s 11 am, and the city pulses with activity. Horns honk in the distance, sirens wail, and people hurry along the sidewalks. The sun casts long shadows, and Harry, engulfed in the rhythm of the city, takes a much-needed break from his work. With his apartment being right in the heart of the city, he doesn’t have far to go when he ventures out to grab snacks. As he returns, the weight of his day is carried in a jumble of brown paper bags. Fumbling with the key at the front door, he’s surrounded by the cacophony of urban life, a stark contrast to the chaos unfolding thousands of miles away.

“Liam, Niall, anyone home?” Harry’s impatient voice resounds through the quiet apartment. He resorts to a frustrated kick against the door, the sounds of his little excursion still ringing in his ears. Just as he’s about to give up and drop the bags, the door swings open with force.

“What the hell are you making such a racket for?” Liam blurts out, lunging to snatch one of the bags when he sees Harry’s struggle. “I brought snacks and shit. Help me carry it inside.” 

The pair of them stepped into their spacious LA apartment, which had a contemporary and sleek design. It was the epitome of a bachelor pad, with a perfect balance of modern elegance and comfort. The living room was adorned with black and white furniture, sleek glass tables, and a minimalistic but stylish decor. Multiple gaming consoles and state-of-the-art technology gadgets were neatly arranged in an entertainment center.

As they began to unpack their groceries in the kitchen, Harry couldn’t help but admire the high-end appliances and gleaming countertops. He turned to Liam and asked just as Niall entered the room “What do you lads feel like having for dinner tonight?”

Liam just shrugged his shoulders, however, their housemate Niall, who had his eyes glued to his tablet screen, remained completely absorbed in whatever he was watching. He didn’t respond to Harry’s question, deeply engrossed in the content in front of him.

“ Earth to Nigel!“ Harry clicked his fingers, finally gaining his attention.

“ What?“ Niall responded defensively.

“ Since when do you not engage with anything related to food?“ Harry had asked being the smartass he is, as he raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

“What? Yeah, I’m hungry.” Niall answers, pretending like he was indeed listening, but he has made it very clear that he wasn’t. Harry rolled his eyes and continued to pull stuff out of the bags. “ That’s not what I asked.“ Harry threw Liam his favourite packet of Doritos, and as expected, Liam tore them open emitting a large handful into his mouth.

“Nice convo fellas, glad you guys are not too hungry yet because I’ve got a ton of work to do. Liam did anyone get back to you today about doing a segment at, shit, where was it?”

With a mouthful, Liam mumbled as small chewed up pieces of doritos fell from the side of his mouth. “ Lincoln Heights Jail and No, I will chuck them another email.“ 

Liam was not only the responsible and level-headed one of the group. He’s also the kind of person who takes note of Harry and Niall’s absence when he wakes up, showing that he’s more in tune with their routines. He seems to be a considerate and grounded individual, likely playing a balancing role within their shared living situation but he is also a loyal co worker.

Harry’s successful YouTube channel, “Shadow Trails” had surpassed a million subscribers, making it one of the most renowned paranormal exploration channels on the platform. A few months ago, a TV company had recognized the immense potential of Harry’s content and offered him a remarkable deal that could take “Shadow Trails” to the next level.

Harry creates content centered around paranormal investigations and ghost hunting. Shadow Trails features videos where he and his team explore haunted locations, document supernatural phenomena, and share their thrilling and spooky adventures with their audience. This content includes night vision footage, audio recordings, and in-depth investigations into the history and legends behind each location, all designed to captivate and chill his viewers.

Liam played an intricate role in their team, which was challenging to define with a single title. While Harry was the driving force as the channel’s Content Creator and the charismatic “Main Character” in their series, Liam operated behind the scenes, taking on numerous roles to ensure the channel’s success.

Liam’s primary role was as the video editor, where his responsibilities included meticulously editing the videos to make sure they were polished, visually captivating, and engaging for their ever-growing audience.

Besides that Liam also stepped up as Harry’s Social media specialist, responsible for promoting the channel on various social media platforms such as Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. 

And last but not least, he also acted as Harry’s Manager/agent, even though that title wasn’t ‘formal’. Liam oversees the entire operation of the YouTube channel and ensures that everything runs smoothly. He also handles contracts and negotiations with potential haunted houses. 

Niall, on the other hand, is the complete opposite of Liam. He exudes an easygoing and carefree vibe, seemingly unfazed by an empty fridge or messy rooms. Niall works as a dental assistant while pursuing his dream of becoming a dentist.

“Alright, I’m going to go and get started on that dialogue piece for the ‘Stanton House’ “ Harry mutters to himself, motivating his somewhat reluctant self to begin working. He knows there’s no way around it; it has to be done, at least he gets to work from home, so that’s a bonus. 

Out of the blue, Niall chimes in, finally acknowledging the conversation. “I’ll never get how you guys believe in all that supernatural mumbo-jumbo. You won’t find me anywhere near a haunted house. I’ve watched enough paranormal shows in my lifetime to understand and accept that it is all utter bullshit.”

Harry and Liam exchange amused glances, fully aware that Niall’s skepticism about their profession is nothing new.

“Well, Niall, I may not be the next Sam and Colby or Zak Bagans, but I love what I do, and it pays for this apartment. So, you just worry about your little cavities and periodontal diseases and leave me to the ghosts and goblins.” Harry retorts with a playful grin. Niall can’t help but chuckle as Harry grabs a banana, his iced tea bottle, and honey-coated nuts.

Niall raises an eyebrow as he continues to focus on his iPad just as Harry walks past him.

Harry smirks and continues walking, slowly creeping towards his room, but not before his curiosity gets the better of him. 

“As much as I enjoy not hearing your lame-ass Irish jokes today, you do have me rather intrigued at what it is that has you so focused on that screen, Mr. Horan.” he teases with a playful glint in his eye.

Niall glanced up from his tablet, pointing at it, but Harry didn’t immediately approach to see. Instead, he stood still and focused as Niall began to explain. “Oh, I had a phone call with my mum earlier. She was talking about a little boy who’s gone missing in the UK, so I’ve been keeping tabs on the updates online. It’s heart-wrenching, really. It’s just breaking my heart. You know, I was going to say he’s quite adorable, but then I noticed his little face is oddly reminiscent of your baby pictures. But let’s not dwell on that uncanny resemblance. The police have just made a statement. God, I feel bad for the parents. I can’t imagine going through something like that and to happen in such a small town, so close to home.” 

Harry’s expression shifted from playful to thoughtful, and he approached Niall with a touch of concern, looking at the screen that was paused on a picture of two men hugging, one of them snuggled tightly into the others chest away from the camera. “Heeey, First of all, that sounds really sad. I can’t even begin to imagine what the family is going through. I hope they find the boy soon and secondly, don’t be mean. I have yet to bear any children so in regards to the child, if he looks like me, then what a lucky boy.”

Niall smiled for a moment, but it quickly faded as he reached for the volume control, turning it up slightly to focus on the news report. Niall can’t quite pinpoint why he’s drawn to this story. He usually doesn’t engage with such distressing news, but his intuition isn’t letting up and something about this situation compels him to follow it further.

Noticing the concern, Harry slowly but anxiously runs his hand through his hair. “I’m sure the parents have lots of moral support Niall. I hope the little lad is found safe, keep us updated alright, now, no-one disturb me unless it’s important, I’ve got lots to do, call out when you’re hungry.”  

Niall, forever the shit stirrer, immediately exclaims “I’m starving.”

Harry playfully flips him the bird and mumbles something under his breath, just missing Niall’s ears. 

“You know, Harry, you really work too much. You should take a break, maybe go on a holiday or something.” Niall suggests, but his well-meaning advice is promptly dismissed as he hears Harry close his bedroom door.

With that, they both returned to their respective tasks, Niall following the updates on the missing boy, and Harry resuming deep into his work load. 

🚨

Sitting cross-legged in his dimly lit room, laptop perched on his thighs as he fervently typed away, Harry felt the familiar strain in his eyes from hours of staring at the screen. His eyelids grew heavy, and fatigue crept in, but he knew he couldn’t sleep until he finished these crucial emails. Determined to stay awake and focused, he gently set the laptop aside and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. With a yawn, he shuffled over to the TV, not particularly caring about the content on the screen. He just needed the comforting hum of background noise to keep his mind engaged as he returned to his work. With the TV now providing that soothing distraction, he resumed his typing, the faint voice of a news reporter filtering through the room after a commercial break had ended.

“ Good evening, I’m Erica Hill, and tonight, we are coming to you live from Doncaster with an urgent update on this heart-wrenching disappearance of little Saxon Tomlinson. Just hours ago, local law enforcement held a press conference to address this ongoing case, promising a relentless pursuit for answers, however, unfortunately the agonizing reality still remains – no leads have emerged.

This evening the situation has taken yet another emotional turn as Mr Tomlinson, the child’s parent, has stepped forward in a bid to make a personal plea to the public for any information that might help bring his child back home. It’s been an agonizing time for the family and community as we continue to pray for this little boy’s safe return. Please, if you have any information, no matter how small it may seem, reach out to authorities immediately. Every detail counts. Only moments ago, the distraught parent took to the stand.“

Harry sighed softly, feeling a pang of sadness. He averted his eyes away from the screen, now grasping the severity of the case and fully understanding what Niall had meant earlier. This whole case was devastatingly sad. He reached over for the remote and quickly muted the TV, not wanting to hear the parent speak. He wasn’t in the mood for crying tonight, his own emotional sensitivity leading him to spare his heart from the sorrow of a child he didn’t know.

He continued typing away on his laptop, fully engrossed in his work, while Louis’ face appeared on the screen, oblivious that the person’s face that he had been searching for, the subject of his months-long quest, was right there in his room.

Just as he was in the middle of crafting a sentence, the distinctive ringtone indicating his mother’s call blared, causing him to jump a little in his seat. As much as he cherished his mother, he wanted to finish the thought he was expressing. With a quick press of the send button, he cast his eyes down, searching for his phone on the bed near his knees.

In a sea of possibilities, Harry and Louis’ paths had converged, for fate had decided years ago that love was destined to transcend. In the grand scheme of things, love was inevitable for the pair, for destiny had left a blueprint in both of their lives. A path that would now lead them straight back into each other’s arms.

As he lifted his phone to answer his mother’s call, his gaze was irresistibly drawn to the TV screen. “Hey, mum.” he began speaking, but his voice trailed off and his words turned into a stunned silence as his eyes widened in disbelief, as his brain registered the face on the TV screen, realizing with a jolt that, yes, it was indeed Louis, his Louis that he had once lost.

He didn’t say anything to his mother as he dropped his phone to the floor, his hands desperately reaching for the remote, turning up the volume as the TV broadcast continued to show Louis’ tearful plea. His eyes remained glued to the screen, and tears welled up in his own eyes as he watched the raw emotion pouring out of Louis.

Louis: (Tears streaming down his face, voice choked with emotion) “Saxon, my sweet, sweet boy, Daddy loves you more than words can express. (He takes a shaky breath) You’re so young baby boy, and the world can be a scary place for someone so small. (His voice trembles) You don’t have your asthma inhaler, and I’m terrified, sweetheart. (He sobs) I want to hold you, to protect you, to hear your laughter again. (Tears fall uncontrollably) I’m lost without you. (He gazes directly into the camera) Saxon, wherever you are, know that I love you unconditionally. (His voice breaks) I miss you beyond measure, and my heart aches for every second you’re not here with me. (He sobs) Please, come back to me, my love. I need you, and I can’t bear this emptiness without you. If you have taken my Saxon, I beg, Please, I beg you to return my child. I love him more than anything in this world. It’s tearing my heart apart not knowing where he is or if he is safe. I will do anything to have him returned back home. Please, just let him go, or at least let us know he is okay. We won’t ask questions; I just want my child back. I need him and he needs me.” 

As Louis left the podium, a picture of Saxon flashed on the screen with all the details relating to his disappearance. Harry’s mouth fell open as he ran up close to view it properly.

His eyes were fixated, his pulse quickening as he scrutinized every detail about Saxon’s disappearance. The image of the innocent almost two-year-old boy tugged at his heartstrings. It was a stark reminder that a child was missing, and the grief that Louis was experiencing was palpable, even through the television screen. Every word Louis had spoken during his plea was etched into Harry’s mind as he tried to come to terms with the overwhelming emotions stirring within.

As Harry stared at the image of the missing child, he couldn’t help but be struck by the uncanny resemblance. The brown curls, the bright green eyes, even the dimples – it was as if he was looking at a younger mini version of himself. Harry’s heart raced as he began to piece together the puzzle in his mind. The similarities were too striking to ignore, and the possibility that he might be related to this missing child left him both awestruck and anxious. He does a quick calculation and… 

“ Fuck….. FUCK !“ 

Panic coursed through Harry’s veins, as his hands instinctively clenched into his hair, pulling at it in desperation.

Louis, is on the screen.

Louis’ boy looks just like himself.

Said child, is missing.

“Niall!” Harry’s frantic scream reverberated throughout the entire apartment, his phone ringing persistently, his mother’s calls going unanswered. He dashed over to his cupboard, yanked his suitcase onto the bed, and in a frenzy, began grabbing anything within sight, hurling it into the open suitcase.

Niall swung open the door just as Harry struggled to force the suitcase shut, his raised eyebrow and bemused expression capturing the chaos in the room. “What in God’s name is going on here? Look, I know I said a holiday was well and truly due, but I didn’t mean taking one tonight. What the hell?”

As Harry finally made eye contact, Niall sensed the seriousness in his demeanor. Harry swallowed hard, and there was a look in his eyes that told Niall this was not the time for small talk.

“What’s going on, Harold?” Niall inquired.

Harry bit his lip, glancing back at the TV screen and then back at Niall. “I need to go to Doncaster, immediately.”

🚨🚨🚨

A/N 

I’m so sorry that the chapter took so long, i’ve been so busy over the Halloween period. 

Anyway, thoughts on the chapter ?

Chapter 4 - Welcome to Doncaster

‘Courage isn’t having the strength to go on, it’s trying to move forward when you don’t have the strength to.’ 

🚨

Niall’s eyes widened in shock, his normally easy going demeanor momentarily frozen in disbelief. He took a step back, his casual posture giving way to a more alert stance. A subtle tension gripped his movements as he shifted on his feet, his gaze fixated on Harry. “You wanna go back to the UK? It’s so late, why do you want to go to Doncaster all of a sudden?” His voice carried a mix of curiosity and concern, emphasizing the unexpectedness of Harry’s declaration.

With no answer as of yet, Harry’s frenetic search continued, the bedside table bearing the brunt of his urgency. Drawers were yanked open and shut in rapid succession, the metallic clang of objects colliding echoing in the room. The drawer slammed shut with an unrestrained force as Harry muttered under his breath “Where the hell has my passport gone?”

In the midst of this chaotic flurry of movements, Harry’s revelation finally spilled out, each word charged with a sense of urgency that refused to be contained. “Niall, it’s Louis. The man whose kid is missing, It’s him! The one I spent so long looking for, it’s him, Ni, it really is. I need to go. I have to help him. I need, I just need to go.”

As Harry repeated the same words, Niall’s initial disbelief transformed into a hesitant acknowledgment of the gravity of the situation. “Oh, oh shit, okay.” Niall’s movements mirrored the whirlwind of emotions, his brows furrowing as he tried to comprehend the sudden twist of fate that now demanded immediate action.

“As your best friend and the resonant voice of reason, I strongly recommend letting this simmer overnight. You don’t want to dive headfirst into this without weighing in all the information and potential scenarios. Hastily plunging in could prove to be a misstep. And, of course, there’s that crucial meeting with the TV producer looming on your schedule tomorrow, Liam said that was tomorrow didn’t he?”

But Harry was unravelling, the pieces of the puzzle falling into place. “Niall, I can’t wait. I can’t let him go through this alone. I think… I think the missing kid might be mine.”

“ What?” Niall, now even more convinced that Harry was not thinking rationally, urged him to reconsider.

“Harry, please, just take a second to stop and breathe. If what you’re saying is indeed true, then this is monumental, and you need to be absolutely certain. Don’t go rushing into something you might regret later because… look, I don’t want to be the downer here, but what are the odds the kid is yours anyway?”

However, the urgency in Harry’s eyes and the ache in his heart overpowered Niall’s advice. The unresolved emotions and the possibility of a connection to the missing child had ignited a fire within Harry, pushing him to act before it was too late.

Harry looked up, his eyes a mix of desperation and determination. “Ni, I can’t wait. I have to find him. I can’t explain it, but I know it’s him. I can’t just sit here.”

The room gleamed in a soft glow, the tv still casting its colors like a warm hue around the room as Niall flicked on the bedroom light. Niall’s grip on Harry’s upper arms was firm yet comforting, a stabilizing force in the midst of turmoil. “Harry, stop, you are acting like a madman.” he urged, his concern etched in the furrow of his brow.

Niall sighed, torn between understanding Harry’s words and the practicality of the situation. The room seemed to shrink as the weight of the decision hung in the air, leaving them both suspended in uncertainty.

As Niall tried to reason with Harry, the room felt like a pressure cooker, the atmosphere crackling with tension. Harry, his eyes wild with perseverance, continued to ransack the room in search of his passport.

Niall, feeling somewhat out of his depth, grapples with the chaotic situation. Recognizing the need for a more calculated approach, he resorts to his go-to move in times of doubt and dilemmas and does what he would normally do – a call to Liam. A brief pause lingers as Niall contemplates the fact that Liam, the more logical and experienced friend, left not long ago for a date, the timing far from ideal.

Niall, still grappling with the weight of Harry’s news, instinctively reached for his phone, his fingers darting across the screen to dial a familiar number. As the call connected, he paced slightly, occasionally glancing over at Harry’s frantic search.

“Oi, Liam. It’s Niall. You won’t believe what’s happening. Harry’s losing it. Says he needs to go to Doncaster, like right now. Yeah, no… I’m serious….It’s about that missing kid, Saxon. No, seriously. I don’t know what to do, mate. He’s convinced it’s Louis. Yeah, that Louis. The one he’s been obsessed with finding. I know, it’s mental. Anyway, I don’t know what to do, he isn’t listening to me. He is hellbent on leaving tonight. ”

While on the call, Niall turned his attention back to Harry, who was now sifting through a pile of papers. Niall placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder, trying his hardest to ground him.

“Harry, mate, maybe you should sleep on it. This is a massive discovery, and you’re not thinking straight. I’ve called Liam, let’s talk and listen to him, see what he has to say. Going off in the middle of the night won’t help anyone.”

The rhythmic ticking of a clock on the wall seemed to underscore the gravity of the situation. Niall, feeling the weight of the decision glanced at his phone, waiting for Liam to offer some guidance. The seconds ticked by, each one echoing louder than the last.

Suddenly, Harry froze, his hand hovering over a forgotten envelope. His breath caught as he gingerly picked it up, realizing it contained his passport. Niall, sensing a moment of hesitation, seized the opportunity.

“Let’s talk to Liam first, remember, please just wait a minute.”

Harry, clutching the envelope tightly, hesitated as Niall continued speaking with Liam. The brightly lit room, now devoid of the previous chaos, felt heavy with anticipation. Niall, aware of the delicate situation, approached Harry with a comforting smile.

“Listen, Haz, we get it, but like Liam also just said, you can’t rush into this. We need a plan, and leaving this instant might not be the best move. Liam said he is coming home now.”

Reluctantly, Harry nodded, torn between his heart’s eagerness to leave and Niall’s rational advice. The room, once chaotic, now held a fragile calm. Niall gestured for Harry to sit down, both of them awaiting Liam’s counsel.

He glanced at the envelope in his hand, realizing the enormity of the decision ahead.

The room remained suspended in a moment of ambivalence, the silence only broken by the muffled sound of Liam’s voice on the phone.

As the call ended, Niall turned to Harry, his eyes reflecting both understanding and caution. “Look, Haz, we’ll both help you figure this out. Let’s gather some information, make a plan, and go at it smart. No need to rush, mate. We got your back.

In the tempest of conflicting emotional turbulence, Harry’s nod carried the weight of profound comprehension. With delicate intention, he carefully laid the sealed envelope on the table.

“ He said to sleep on it. Going in the morning might be more effective, and it gives us time to figure out the best approach. We’re all with you on this, but it’s got to be the right move. There is a lot to think about here, there is a massive investigation, a little boy is missing you can’t just go and interfere and-”

Harry, torn between impulsive action and measured consideration, sighed and nodded in reluctant agreement. The room, once charged with adrenaline, now held a tense stillness as the weight of the decision settled upon them.

When Liam returned only thirty minutes later, he calmly outlined a strategic plan, providing a sense of direction amidst this new found information. Niall, sensing Harry’s internal struggle, kept a supportive hand on his friend’s shoulder.

Together, they huddled around a laptop, scrolling through news articles, and gathering details about the missing child. The soft glow of the screen illuminated their faces, etched with varying expressions—concern, fear, excitement, and a shared commitment to finding answers.

“ I still don’t understand why I just can’t leave now, I need to see him.”

As the last drop of liquid amber vanished from his glass, Liam delicately set it beside him on Harry’s compact work desk.

“I can think of many.” Liam declared, his exhale resonating with the weight of unspoken truths. Each expelled breath carried the collective wisdom of untold stories, a somber acknowledgment that Harry needed to confront the myriad facets of the situation to shape his mindset for the journey ahead. The room, steeped in the rich tones of their shared contemplation, became a tableau where the unspoken danced with the resonance of understanding.

“ Okay, well for one, there’s still the chance of misidentification here. There might be a possibility of a mistaken identity. It’s crucial to confirm that the missing child is indeed biologically yours first. There could be legal Implications, rushing to Doncaster without a clear plan could have legal consequences. Understanding custody issues and potential legal complexities is essential. We don’t know what Louis has stated on the kids birth certificate, or what he might have told the police already.”

Observing the way Harry’s face dropped as he took in his words made Liam anxious. He exchanged a concerned glance with Niall, whose nod conveyed a silent encouragement to persist. The air hung heavy, each heartbeat marking the passage of crucial dialogue as Liam steeled himself to continue.

“ You also need to prepare yourself. You need to assess your emotional readiness for this encounter. Meeting Louis again under these circumstances may unearth challenging feelings and memories. Are you prepared for that? This might not be the happy reunion you always wished for.”

Harry ran a hand through his hair. He knew Liam was right but hearing it out loud made more sense.

“With the ongoing media coverage Harry, you should be prepared for intense scrutiny. The public eye can be unforgiving, and a well-thought-out plan is necessary. Police Cooperation would be another one. Coordinating with the local authorities is vital. Going in unannounced might hinder ongoing investigations and could lead to misunderstandings.”

Harry sat silently unable to tear his eyes away from his passport.

“Each of these scenarios emphasizes the importance of approaching this situation with careful consideration and a strategic plan. Now do you understand H?”

“ Yes.”

The night unfolded with a collaborative effort, as plans took shape, calls were made, and the room transformed into a makeshift command centre. The air, charged with purpose, permeated every corner. In the darkness of the night, they solidified their strategy, ready to face the challenges the new day would bring.

Liam’s strategic plan involved a three-step approach: research, outreach, and coordination. They aimed to gather comprehensive information about the missing child—Saxon—by delving into local news archives, social media, and police updates. Niall, with his tech-savvy skills, took charge of online investigations, while Harry, fueled by a newfound determination, compiled a list of potential contacts in Doncaster.

Niall turned to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Okay, now that we have all that settled down and have a proper plan, let’s all sleep on it. It’s really late, and your mind’s probably still all over the place. Get some rest alright, we have a big morning ahead.”

Harry sank onto the bed, the mattress providing little solace for the storm raging within him. Harry nodded though, agreeing to the respite of a night’s sleep.

“ Goodnight and thank you both.”

As Niall exhaled heavily, glad that they had managed to talk some sense into him, both boys left the room, the door clicking softly behind them, leaving Harry alone in the hushed darkness. Yet, his mind refused to find peace. The faces of the missing boy and Louis intertwined in his thoughts, an unbearable weight on his conscience.

Unable to resist the urge and despite agreeing to rest, Harry found himself reaching for his phone, the screen’s glow illuminated his intent gaze as he reopened the news app, fixating on the missing boy’s picture. Every detail seemed familiar, a haunting resemblance that tugged at his heart. Harry’s fingers slid across the screen with urgency, driven by an undeniable force compelling him to unravel the truth hidden in the newfound shadows.

The quiet hum of the room was interrupted only by the rhythmic tapping of Harry’s fingers against the screen, each keystroke echoing the unravelling of a mystery that had entangled his past with an uncertain present. The bright ambiance of the room contrasted sharply with the heaviness in Harry’s chest that was pounding fast, as the night unfolded in a symphony of unanswered questions and unresolved emotions.

🚨

The first rays of dawn tiptoed through the parted curtains, casting a gentle glow on the tastefully decorated room. Liam, the early riser, yawned and stretched as he slowly approached Harry’s door with a quiet reverence, his knuckles orchestrating a tentative melody against the wood.

“ Harry, you up?”

The room responded with a profound silence, a stark contrast to the usual hum of life within its confines.

Undeterred by the lack of reply, Liam pushed the door ajar, the hinges yielding with a barely audible creak. As the room unveiled itself, an air of emptiness lingered, and Liam’s eyes gravitated toward the impeccably made bed. Crisp linens whispered tales of a night untouched, as if the room held its breath in secrecy.

His gaze swept the space, a futile attempt to discern any lingering presence. The room, once a sanctuary of familiarity, now stood as a testament to the quiet departure of a desperate friend, leaving behind an unspoken narrative written in the vacancy of a neatly made bed and the echo of an absent suitcase.

“ Jesus, Harry.”

🚨

September 28th 11.33pm

Doncaster

Missing - 10 hours

As midnight loomed, the night draped its depressing cloak over the deserted playground, a shroud of desolation floated throughout, a mist-like breeze carrying the laughter of children had now given way to an oppressive silence. The once bustling scene now lay dormant, the echoes of concerned voices and camera shutters replaced by an eerie stillness.

The sadness in Louis’ eyes reflected the relentless passage of time – It’s been an agonizing ten long hours since Saxon had vanished without a trace, leaving Louis clinging to the fading glimmers of any hope.

For the time being he stood steadfast, a lone figure in the moonlit emptiness. It was as if a haunting vision had been painted, a father grappling with the unfathomable void left by his son’s absence, the playground now serving as a cruel stage for a father’s desperate vigil.

Casting his eyes to the right, Louis spotted Oli seated at a distance, engaged in a lengthy interview with an officer. The last forty-five minutes had seen Oli tethered to the bench, swaying with nervous energy and sporadically nibbling on a stray fingernail.

Louis battles the persistent yawns, as the weight of the day settles in. Without hearing Saxon’s nightly request for an extra biscuit along with the absence of warm little arms embracing him in a bedtime hug, he tries his best to stay strong through the loneliness.

He presses his lips together tightly, feeling a new swell of tears threatening to break free. The lateness of the hour, the biting cold air, and the vivid image of Saxon in shorts and a tee shirt intensify his fears. A sharp exhale escapes him, his stomach tightening as he grapples with the overwhelming urge to vomit.

A gentle touch on his shoulder draws Louis’ attention, and he looks up to see Garcia by his side. “Louis” she says softly. Wiping his eyes, he follows her towards the police van, where a lone spotlight pierces the darkness. As he takes a seat, his gaze shifts between Garcia flipping through a mountain of paperwork and the dim surroundings. Even in the darkness, his mind remains fixed on one thing—finding Saxon.

“ I’m glad I found you, I know it’s really late but there are a few things I want to run by you if that’s alright.”

Garcia didn’t anticipate a response, fully aware of Louis’ exhaustion. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see just how burnt out Louis really is, especially after the TV plea. That in itself had been an unexpected twist, when although seemingly drained, Louis had taken the initiative and volunteered to make his TV debut earlier than expected. It had caught Garcia off guard, as she had intended to handle that task the following day. Yet, sensing Louis’ desperation and determination as he observed the camera crews, she graciously agreed to let him take the lead.

“Louis, did the Detective go over tomorrow’s plan with you before he left? Because there are several key components to maximizing our efforts in finding Saxon that I would really like for you to understand.“

Louis hesitated, glancing away momentarily before meeting Garcia’s eyes.

“So we just stop looking overnight then?”

It wasn’t a question, and Garcia, a mother herself, began to struggle to keep her own emotions in check. This whole situation was beginning to affect everyone, and despite her intense training, she was beginning to find it challenging to maintain a strictly professional demeanor in the face of such a heart-wrenching circumstance.

Garcia offered a gentle smile before shifting her focus, rifling through the papers, dismissing his question and pressing on with her task.

“So, it says here, firstly, we’ll gather at your house. Trained sniffer dogs will enter your property and with your help, will hopefully pick up Saxon’s scent from his clothes, which will provide a starting point for the extended search.”

Louis nodded, absorbing the information, but the surreal nature of it all made it feel like a repetitive loop, each piece of advice blending into the next.

“Is that the specialized teams unit Detective Reign began talking about earlier? I overheard him on the walkie talkie.” Louis admits before staring back off into the darkness.

“Yes, the sniffer dogs are part of the K-9 unit. We will deploy them across and beyond the playground tomorrow. They’ll cover specific areas like the parklands, woodlands and-”

Garcia pauses, sensing the difficulty in delivering the next piece of information. Unconsciously, she bites down on the inside of her cheek, holding her breath for a moment before continuing with the difficult details. “We also need to search the lake, Louis.”

She hears Louis gasp audibly, his reaction immediate as he stands abruptly, his hands gripping at his hair.

“The lake! You think… oh God, you think he might have drowned!”

Detective Garcia’s voice holds a tinge of weariness as she continues. “I wish I could soften the impact of this information, maybe even sugarcoat it, but Louis, honesty is crucial. The lake is situated beyond the playground, covering a significant area. It’s a difficult reality, but we have to explore every avenue. Right now, we can’t rule anything out, everything is a possibility, I’m sorry.”

She rises from her seat, a gentle reminder for Louis to take a moment. “Deep breaths, Louis. We’re here with you every step of the way.”

When Louis sits back down he turns to Garcia and for the first time tonight, he finally gets to have a good look at her face.

Her hair, a cascade of dark waves, is expertly tied back into a tight bun. Mesmerizing brown eyes sparkle with an enchanting warmth, lighting up her entire face with a radiant smile. Her presence is both graceful and elegant, explaining why she effortlessly connects with others.

“ We’ll also expand our search to the neighborhoods around the playground. Officers will interview residents, check surveillance, and gather any leads.

“So, going door-to-door?”

“Exactly. We also want to engage the community as much as we can, urging them to report any information. The more eyes and ears we have, the better.

“Makes sense.” Louis mutters softly.

“Media outreach is still very crucial. We’ll work closely with them to keep the public informed and encourage involvement. We’ll continue to collaborate with news outlets, providing regular updates on the investigation. This includes Saxon’s description, any developments, and ways the community can help. We aim to keep the public informed and engaged.”

Louis just nods, its all he really can do.

“We’ll continue to encourage people to share details they might think are insignificant but could be crucial. Social media will play a significant role. We’ll have dedicated channels for updates and sharing information.”

“Will there be any more press conferences? Do I have to do that again? I can if I have too, if you think it will help, I dont know if I said the right things last time, what if I didn’t -”

Garcia interupted him knowing where his mind was heading.

“You did great, Louis. Yes, press conferences will be scheduled to ensure accurate and timely information reaches the public. It’s essential for maintaining awareness and generating leads.“

“What about posters or flyers? Will something like that help too?”

Louis is so determined to find alternative ways to raise awareness about his missing son, that he’s ready to spend the entire night creating signs if that’s what it takes.

“Absolutely. We’ll distribute posters with Saxon’s photo and relevant details in high-traffic areas. The more eyes that see his face, the better our chances.”

“Got it. Anything else for tomorrow or is that all?”

“Community events and vigils may be organized, fostering unity and support. Actually, I think there is already a large group of parents who have already formed together and have volunteered to do the flyers for you Louis. It’s remarkable the amount of support you already have and to be honest, I’m hoping it will take a bit of the load off of your shoulders.” 

“Thank you, again, for explaining everything to me. I can’t express how appreciative I am for everything you are doing for me…..and for my boy.

Garcia was about to respond when the sound of approaching footsteps diverted their attention. With Garcia slightly out of view, Oli unleashed a frustrated rant.

“Fucking hell, a kid’s missing, and they’re more concerned about my unpaid speeding ticket. What a bunch of… erm, ah, shit.” Oli paused abruptly, realizing Garcia’s presence. “I’m sorry, am I interrupting? I can come back; I just wanted to check on Louis.”

Garcia offered a comforting rub to Louis’ arm as she clutched at her paperwork and  rose to her feet. Disregarding Oli’s question, she smoothly pulled out her phone and checked the time.

“Louis, I strongly recommend heading home.” Garcia gently implored. “Attempting to rest might be challenging, but at this moment, it’s the best course of action for everyone. We’re starting at 5 a.m tomorrow. Are you still on board for us to visit your house with the dogs?”

The officers’ plea was wrapped in empathetic tones, urging Louis to leave this spectral landscape, to seek some sort of rest in the transient embrace of sleep, sleep that Louis knew he would not achieve.

In the depths of exhaustion, Louis nodded in agreement, his wearied eyes reflecting the torment of a sleepless night ahead spent yearning for his son’s return. The prospect of sniffer dogs weaving through his home, seeking Saxon’s scent, offered a glimmer of hope amid the overwhelming darkness that embodied him. The night held its secrets, and Louis clung to the belief that the approaching dawn might illuminate the path back to his beloved son, unveiling answers that had eluded them thus far.

“ Perfect, Goodnight.”

Garcia’s heels clicked against the concrete pavement as she strolled back towards the car park. Her steps continued without a backward glance, but her voice resonated loud and clear in the crispy night air.

“ Oh and Mr Wright, if you didn’t speed in the first place, you wouldn’t have an outstanding bill. Pay your fine, pronto!”

Oli rolled his eyes as he looked back towards Louis. “ Fucking hell I hate bobbies.”

Oli, sensing the sudden shift in the air, turned sharply at the sound of Louis’ unexpected sob. Without hesitation, he rushed towards him, wrapping him in a tight embrace.

“Hey, I’m so sorry I took so long. Are they giving you a hard time? Come here, are you ready to go home?”

The night seemed to stand still as the only movement came from the fragile frame of Louis, now held together by Oli’s comforting arms. The echo of sorrow lingered in the darkness, and the two figures remained entwined, seeking and praying for any type of peace or resolution, for a reunion with Saxon…All in the silent language of shared grief.

Louis pulled back as he watched the last officers retreating to their vehicles and pulling away. He surveyed the surroundings, realizing that he and Oli were the only two people remaining in the park.

“I can’t go home, Oli. I just can’t. What if he comes back and no one is here? What if…” Louis, with no tissues left, uses the bottom of his shirt to wipe his nose. His voice trembles with desperation. “He could be alone out there, lost and cold or freaking injured. I can’t bear the thought of him being scared and wondering where I am. I…please don’t make me go home, please. I can’t face an empty house when my baby needs me.”

Oli’s gaze swept the area after catching sight of Louis’ teeth chattering. A few steps away, a forgotten blanket from the paramedic caught his eye. He delicately draped it around Louis, who instinctively snuggled into his side, seeking his friends comfort and warmth. Oli’s touch on Louis’ arm was gentle, a reassuring presence amidst his mates heartache. In this critical moment, Oli had no intention of abandoning his closest friend, especially when he knew Louis needed him more than ever.

“ Then we stay.”

🚨

For the next five hours, Louis and Oli roamed the park meticulously, avoiding the taped-off areas marked by the police. Their voices echoed through the night air as they repeatedly called out for Saxon. Phones in hand, they checked for news updates, their eyes scanning screens for any glimmer of hope. At 3:40 a.m, a moment of weakness struck Louis as he opened his Instagram account. Fourteen new message requests flooded in, but as he began to open the first eight, the harsh reality hit – they were all from news reporters, hungry for an interview.

Detective Reign had firmly instructed Louis earlier not to engage with any media without consulting him first.

All day long Louis had found himself grappling with a flood of reporters, each seeking a morsel of information or an emotional soundbite as they called out his name. Despite his exhaustion and emotional turmoil, he maintained a composed front. With a wearied expression, he politely declined interviews, emphasizing the priority of finding Saxon over engaging with the media. His responses were measured, revealing his commitment to the ongoing search, said in the exact way, that Reign had drummed into him hours ago.

🚨

Forty minutes before Louis addressed the Media.

🚨

Detective Reign looked at Louis, his expression conveying a mix of understanding and concern. “Louis, I know this is incredibly difficult, but when it comes to handling the media, there are a few key points to keep in mind.”

Louis nodded, his eyes tired but attentive.

“Firstly, it’s crucial to prepare key messages—those main points you want to convey. Think about what you want the public to know and stick to those messages.”

Louis took a deep breath, absorbing the advice.

“Stay calm and composed during interviews, no matter how challenging. If a question throws you off, take a moment to gather your thoughts before responding. And, Louis, honesty is key. Be transparent in your responses. If you don’t know something, it’s perfectly okay to admit it.”

Louis nodded again, appreciating the honesty in Reign’s guidance.

“Now, controlling the narrative is important. Steer the conversation back to your key messages. If a question gets too personal or off-topic, bring it back to what you want to emphasize.”

Louis thought about the numerous times he had seen celebrities redirect interviews, realizing the importance of this tactic.

“Choose your words carefully. Be truthful and precise. And, Louis, you have the right to set boundaries. If a question crosses a line, politely but firmly decline to answer.”

Louis considered the boundaries he needed to establish, feeling a bit more empowered.

“Timing matters, too. If you’re emotionally drained or in a stressful situation, it might be better to postpone interviews until you can engage more effectively.”

Louis sighed, acknowledging the emotional toll of the situation.

“Non-verbal communication is powerful. Maintain eye contact, use open postures, and be mindful of your facial expressions. And if it becomes too overwhelming, working with a spokesperson can help manage media interactions.”

Louis looked at Reign, realizing the complexity of handling the press.

“After the interviews, consider following up with key points or additional information to reinforce your messages and correct any misunderstandings.”

Louis nodded, absorbing the comprehensive advice. “Thank you, Detective Reign. I’ll do my best.”

Reign placed a supportive hand on Louis’ shoulder. “Take your time, Louis. We’re here to support you through this.”

Unbeknownst to Louis in that moment as he closed his phone away, destiny had attempted to toss him a lifeline through the social media app. Amidst the heartache and chaos, his inner pain had prevented him from recognizing it.

If only Louis had scrolled down a mere four more requests, if he had just clicked on the one with the heading “Found You” an immediate and significant reunion might have unfolded right then and there.

Louis flinched an hour later when Oli softly tapped his shoulder, breaking the brief respite of drowsiness that had crept over him at 4:44 am. His eyes snapped open, realizing he’d almost succumbed to sleep. “Shit… shit! I can’t sleep, what the hell, Oli, don’t… don’t let me fall asleep. What time is it? Have you heard anything?”

Without a word, they swiftly gathered their belongings, the rustle of fabric and the clinking of keys punctuating the silent urgency. Oli, sensing the need to move, interrupted him. “It’s time to go. My car is still back at work; I need to go home and change real quick, and then I can scoot over to your—”

Louis halted Oli by pulling out his own car keys, an unspoken understanding passing between them. “Go home and get some sleep. I don’t know how to put into words how thankful and—”

“No, no, you don’t need to fucking thank me, Louis, Jesus Christ. I would never leave your side, ever. When have I ever not been there for you or vice versa?” Oli stretched, the stiffness in his back evident from hunching over for the past few hours. “You sure you’re alright to go home and confront this all on your own? Soon as its done, and/or if you need me, call me, immediately. I mean it.”

Louis cleared his throat as they walked towards the parking lot. “I will be fine.” The words hung, a feeble attempt to mask the truth they both clearly understood – that being “fine” was a far cry from reality.

As Louis prepared to reverse, he sat rigid in his car, hands clenched on the steering wheel. Reluctance clung to him like a heavy shroud; he didn’t want to leave. His eyes, weary from countless scans, traced the dimly lit playground. “Where are you, baby?” he whispered to himself, the words drifting with a longing that seemed to float out into empty space.

🚨

As Louis pulled up to his place, an unsettling sight greeted him. The normally quiet neighborhood was now filled with the presence of numerous police cars, their flashing lights almost blinding him the closer he got. Canines, adorned in police dog jackets, weaved between the vehicles, their keen noses inspecting the surroundings. The air hung heavy with a sense of foreboding, each neighbor on the street awakening to the unsettling spectacle at this early hour. Eager to help and intrigued by the unfolding events, the whole community seemed to be drawn into the collective concern that permeated the atmosphere.

The front door of Louis’ home was already a focal point, surrounded by law enforcement professionals engaged in focused discussions. The gravity of the situation hit him like a sledgehammer – the realization that entering his own home would be an agonizing journey void of the familiar laughter and playful antics of his son. There will be no Saxon’s gleeful jumps on the bed, no echoes of his tiny feet patterning joyfully through the halls. No matter how much he tries to convince himself otherwise, Saxon…is not going to be there.

Amidst the commotion, as Louis opened his drivers side door he rolled his eyes as he noticed his perpetually grumpy neighbor standing on the lawn, binoculars in hand, sharing information with an officer. The juxtaposition of the mundane details of daily life with the intense circumstances made the scene all the more surreal and terrifying.

He approached Garcia, who eyed him up and down, realizing that Louis had defied her advice and gotten no sleep.

“Am I late? I thought you said 5 am.” he questioned, with Garcia nodding in response as she checked her watch.

“ No, you are right on time, it’s 5.02am. We got here about ten minutes ago and within minutes, the entire neighbourhood was outside. Your neighbors, they are very um…what’s the word im looking for..um…”

“ Nozy?” Louis remarked, raising his eyebrow, causing Garcia to try and hold back a laugh.

“ Your words, not mine, anyway, I need you to sign this form and then we are all good to go.”

Suddenly, one of the dogs let out a bark, causing Louis to jump in surprise.

“Fucking hell.” he muttered.

“Rusty, halt!” An officer quickly commanded the dog to sit, and it obeyed without hesitation.

Louis, still a bit startled, asked. “Do I need to do anything else? Do I wait out here, or what’s the plan?” He handed back the signed form.

Garcia stood beside Louis, professional yet empathetic like always. “Louis, we’re going to bring in sniffer dogs to gather Saxon’s scent. It’s a standard procedure to aid in the search. We’ll need personal items of Saxon’s—something he frequently used, like clothing or a toy. Honestly its better for you to come inside and guide us to his room and his favourite items. Are you okay with that? Do you need a moment or ?”  

Louis automatically thought of the ’ broom broom’ , but with that now in evidence he was sure he had plenty of other items they could use. With a hint of desperation, Louis nodded and replied. “ No, Im all good to go and yes, of course, you can take whatever you need. Just find him, please.“

Garcia continued as she turned down her walkie talkie, the static and muffled voices overpowering their conversation.  “Okay, once we have the items, the dogs will first familiarize themselves with Saxon’s scent. The handler will guide the dog through each room, helping us trace any scent trails left behind. Then, we shall return to the playground where hopefully the dogs will scour the area and pick up his scent.  It’s a crucial step to determine if Saxon might still be in the vicinity or if we need to expand our search.”

Louis, though grateful for the effort, couldn’t shake the worry etched on his face. “And if they don’t find anything?”

Garcia, maintaining a reassuring tone, replied. “It’s just one part of our comprehensive search, Louis. We’re doing everything we can. The dogs are trained for this, and their noses are incredibly reliable. Let’s take it step by step, alright? Just let me know when you are ready.”

And with that, Louis looked around at all the faces that kept burning into the side of his head. He lifted his hand and inserted his key pushing open the door.

Louis was not ready for this…but he had to be.

🚨

After the sniffer dogs completed their task, Garcia expressed her gratitude to Louis and provided him with additional instructions.

“ So, we are all wrapped up here. The dogs have what they need. As you can observe, the rest of the team has reconvened at the playground, preparing to deploy the K-9 unit into the nearby areas. Additionally, another dedicated volunteer group is about to embark on another comprehensive search. Furthermore, about five minutes ago I Was alerted that the underwater search unit is gearing up for their dives, set to commence shortly.”

The toll of sleep deprivation and the weight of this recent traumatic experience was chiselled into Louis’ face. Deep, dark circles adorned the skin beneath Louis’ eyes, a stark testament to the night spent wrestling with fear. Louis’ eyes, once lively and vibrant, now drooped with weariness, carrying the burden of sleepless hours.

Yawns escaped involuntarily, betraying the body’s desperate need for rest. Lines of fatigue etched themselves on his forehead, adding years to a face that had recently known more than its fair share of strain. Every movement seemed to carry the weight of exhaustion, from the slow blink of heavy eyelids to the almost mechanical gestures of a deflated body.

Louis really was the visual narrative of the inner struggles and emotional strain endured during a challenging period and Garcia couldn’t handle seeing him that way any longer.

She leaned in with a quiet reassurance, her words carrying a blend of professionalism and genuine concern for his well-being.

“This would be the time to take a moment to shower and rest, even if it’s just an hour. Being at your best is crucial, and without proper sleep, your mental awareness could be compromised.”

Louis felt the pull of agreement in the form of his eyes, his headache, and his entire body.

Louis knew she was right.

“ I will.” He said softly but Garcia heard the reluctance in his voice as she raised a questionable eyebrow. “ I promise.” He reaffirmed. And that must have been enough because she smiled and turned to leave.

“ Call me when you are awake and have had something to eat.”

And just like that…Louis was alone .

No more police officers, no camera crews, no Oli, and…most definitely… no Saxon.

Louis was entirely alone .

Louis stepped around the silent house, each creak of the floor echoing a peculiar emptiness. The home, once filled with the laughter of his son, now hung heavy with an sinister stillness, making every breath feel constricted, as if the walls were closing in.

In the kitchen, he caught a glimpse of the pancake mess left from yesterdays breakfast ordeal, a stark contrast to the mornings filled with Saxon’s excited chatter about his favorite foods. The dirty breakfast plates stood as a solemn sentinel, guarding the memory of breakfasts that would never be shared again. The emptiness of the space gnawed at him, a vacuum that sucked away the essence of joy that once permeated every corner.

The familiar sights around him, the toys scattered on the floor, the untouched drawings on the fridge, all seemed to taunt him with memories of Saxon’s vibrant presence. His hands traced the edges of Saxon’s pictures, each stroke etched with a sense of longing.

He moved through the rooms with a mechanical precision, his eyes landing on the small chair in the corner – a place where Saxon loved to sit and play with his broom broom.

Louis couldn’t escape the feeling that the house had become a haunting gallery of memories. Every corner held a piece of Saxon, an echo of his excited screams, and Louis found himself navigating through the space as if expecting to find his son around the next corner. The house, once a sanctuary, now felt like a labyrinth of grief, each step a painful reminder of what was now lost.

Louis wandered to Saxon’s room, pausing at the door, unsure if his heart could bear entering the threshold. He closed his eyes tightly and turned the handle. His gaze fixated on the neatly made bed – the empty bed. The room felt frozen in time, a snapshot of a life abruptly interrupted and stolen from him.

The silence smothered him like an invisible force pulling the air from his lungs. Louis stumbled backwards, unable to escape the constant reminders of Saxon’s absence.

Louis staggered out of the room, his movements a desperate attempt to escape the suffocating memories. The door clicked shut behind him, a sound that echoed with finality, leaving an indelible mark on his already burdened heart.

He vowed, in that moment, a vow to protect the room until the day it could once again embrace the warmth of his son’s presence. The door to Saxon’s room would remain untouched until his son returned, the weight of the promise settling like a stone in the pit of his stomach.

Each step away from that closed door felt like a retreat from a battlefield of emotions. The house, once a haven, had transformed into nothing but sorrow, with every room concealing a bittersweet tableau of moments now stuck in the past. The air, thick with the residue of Saxon’s singing, now clung to Louis, making each breath a painful reminder of what was absent.

As he moved through the quiet corridors, Louis’ hands trembled, fingers brushing against the familiar surfaces that once held traces of his boy. The untouched toys in the living room became artifacts of a happier past, their silence amplifying the void left behind.

The once-muted whispers of memories erupted into a cacophony, drowning Louis in the overwhelming symphony of what used to be. In a moment of devastating realization, he crumpled to the ground, his anguished cries slicing through the oppressive stillness.

Everything around Louis seemed to conspire against him, amplifying the hollowness that engulfed his soul. The walls were tainted with the ghostly resonance of Saxon’s playful footsteps, the very same air thick with the essence of a presence that had slipped away. Each breath became a struggle, as if the atmosphere itself clung to his lungs, squeezing out the remnants of joy that once filled the space.

Louis surrendered to the onslaught of grief, his body now convulsing with each violent rock back and forth. The room bore witness to his shattered facade, the remnants of a once vibrant spirit now crumbling under the weight of an unbearable absence. In the midst of this heart-wrenching symphony, Louis unleashed a bellowing scream – a primal expression of pain that tore through the fabric of his inner being.

As he clung to his knees, the world around him blurred into a kaleidoscope of memories, each image a poignant reminder of a life disrupted. The room, now a sanctuary of sorrow, held Louis in its unforgiving grip, a silent witness to the shattered fragments of a father’s heart.

As tears flowed down his cheeks, he didn’t understand how he was supposed to come out of this alive. Never in his life had he experienced this amount of pain. Every muscle , every nerve , every bone , every memory , every thought . It all hurts . It was as if he was being stabbed, murdered, and burnt alive all rolled into one, with no way to alleviate or mask the pain. 

Without Saxon, Louis felt incomplete.

🚨

Harry’s arrival in Doncaster was marked by the distant hum of the train engine fading away as he stepped onto the platform. The cold breeze grazed his face, and the familiar surroundings of the train station felt oddly distant. He clutched his bag tighter, a physical manifestation of the tension within him. He has never been to Doncaster before, or not that he can remember anyway.  His mother lives in Holmes Chapel which is only a couple of hours away, and somehow he suddenly remembers to make a mental note to call his mother a little later on.

Avoiding his phone had left him in a state of suspense, a self-imposed exile from the outside world. The rhythmic tapping of his boots echoed in the empty spaces of the station, each step carrying the weight of his decision to find Louis all on his own.

As he ventured further, the station’s architecture became a backdrop to the storm brewing within. He glanced at his phone, contemplating whether to face the music or delay the inevitable.

The distant sound of a train leaving underscored the solitude of the moment. Harry hesitated, a brief pause in the narrative of his journey, knowing that the reunion with Louis and himself would be anything but ordinary. The station, once a waypoint in his travels, now stood as a threshold to the challenges that awaited him in only hours to come.

While summoning an Uber, Harry couldn’t resist the urge to check his messages. Liam’s name adorned twenty missed calls and six text messages, whereas Niall’s count was seven missed calls and a lone text.

He quickly skimmed over Liam’s messages, noticing a repetitive theme in each one.

“ Are you fucking insane!”

“I don’t understand, what happened to the plan?”

“ Harry, answer my calls now !”

“ Don’t do anything stupid Harry. Remember all the stuff we talked about.”

And so on…

Expecting Liam’s wrath, Harry braced himself for an epic rant from Niall too, but when Niall’s message popped up, he couldn’t help but chuckle.

To Harry: “ Hey, mate! Liam’s having a mini meltdown, pacing and unleashing a verbal storm about your midnight escape. His neck veins look like they’re ready to pop. I must admit, it’s a top-tier entertainment show! On a serious note, stay safe. If you need help, call ME first. Unless it’s for bail or something like that– then take your time to reflect on disobeying Liam’s orders. Love you!“

🚨

Under the daylight filtering through the car windows, Harry’s fingertips traced the screen of his phone, delving into the latest details of the missing child case. The Uber cruised through the streets as Harry, engrossed, stumbled upon a headline: “ Father Awaits Updates at Doncaster Police Station.“

A surge of concern and urgency prompted him to speak. “Change of plans. Instead of the hotel can you take me straight to the Doncaster police station please?” The driver, empathetic, nodded.

“I’ve been following that case. What a heart-wrenching situation for any parent.” remarked the driver as the car smoothly merged into the daytime traffic.

As the Uber pulled up to the police station, Harry’s heart began to thud with increasing intensity. The driver hesitated before uttering. “Sorry mate, can’t get you any closer. The whole block’s swarmed with press and police.”

Harry swallowed hard, feeling the knot of nerves tighten in his stomach. The reality of the situation dawned on him, and he realized just how much Liam was right. The magnitude of the media presence made him question the wisdom of his impulsive decision. The air hummed with tension, and Harry stepped out onto the bustling street, his apprehension growing with each passing step.

The chaotic scene unfolded before him, and like a snap of the fingers, Harry had no idea what to do.

He decided to navigate through the throngs of press vans, their Satellite dishes stood erect, aiming at the heavens like metallic sentinels, while the air buzzed with a chaotic symphony of reporters delivering fragmented news snippets.

“ Very soon, it is expected that Mr. Tomlinson will step out with the Detective Inspector to address the public on any new information.“ one voice announced. Another chimed in somberly as he passed yet another. “ Little Saxon has yet to be found .“

Amid the sea of onlookers, Harry blended in, his tall frame weaving discreetly through the crowd, catching snippets of conversations and somber expressions. The anticipation buzzed like static in the air as he inched closer, drawn by an eagerness to hear the latest updates. Slowly, he squirmed his way through the tightly packed crowd, each step bringing him closer to the front.

He finally stopped beside a temporary barricade, beyond which a couple of officers discussed the ongoing search. Remaining unnoticed, Harry strained to hear any pertinent details that might shed light on Saxon’s whereabouts, but what he did hear instead, was about to set off a string of life changing events.

Outside, the police station was charged with a morbid excitement, the collective murmur of the crowd subsiding as they eagerly awaited Louis’ appearance. Amidst this charged atmosphere, Harry couldn’t help but overhear Officer Lloyd’s disdainful comments about Louis, a bitter revelation that kindled a fiery anger within him.

“ I mean, what kind of a “father” loses their own child, oh I know, a fucking gay one.”

The comment was intended to be a private exchange between officers, but unfortunately, Harry caught wind of it, and his disappointment in the lack of professionalism was obvious.

“ That is a fucking horrible thing to say! Don’t you dare say things like that… you fucking homophobe.“ Harry’s retort, a sharp rebuke, cut through the ambient noise. Officer Lloyd, responding to the challenge, turned to face him with a stern expression.

“Watch your language, son. We’re dealing with a serious situation here.” Officer Lloyd warned with a smirk, his voice carrying the weight of authority. The crowd, sensing the mounting confrontation, held its collective breath.

In a muttered rebuttal, Harry couldn’t hold back his frustration. “You’re a real jerk, you know that?” The words, a fleeting insult, hung in the air like a spark before an explosion.

Officer Lloyd, having heard enough, issued a final warning. “Shut your mouth or else, why are you so pressed anyway? Are you a fag too? “ The sternness of his tone as he had whispered that last part, left no room for a comeback, or so Lloyd had thought.

When Harry mumbled yet another defiant comment “Why? Do you fancy me bending you over, sorry to disappoint, I dont fuck dickheads.” Officer Lloyd’s face transformed from smug to pissed off and quickly sprung into action. The metallic click of handcuffs echoed in the tense atmosphere as he restrained Harry, enforcing the consequences of crossing the line.

Harry’s eyes, once ablaze with anger, flickered with a mix of defiance and disbelief as the cold metal of the handcuffs encircled his wrists. A tension radiated through his body, the lines of his jaw clenched in frustration. The impulsive surge of anger gave way to a moment of realization—a bitter acknowledgment of the consequences for letting his emotions override reason.

There was a palpable shift in his demeanor, a subtle sag in his shoulders as the weight of the situation sank in. The bustling crowd, previously expectant, now bore witness to a different scene—a conflicted man, handcuffed and caught in the crosscurrents of desperation and authority. The spark of rebellion that had ignited his outburst dimmed, replaced by a sober recognition of the boundaries he had challenged, that of the men in blue.

Amidst the gathering onlookers, Harry’s thoughts betrayed a mix of emotions—frustration, sorrow, and a flicker of regret. The reality of the handcuffs, tangible and unforgiving, spoke to the complexity of navigating personal anguish within the rigid framework of law and order. As Officer Lloyd maintained a firm hold on the situation, Harry’s restrained form became a symbol of the delicate balance between individual anguish and the broader mechanisms of justice.

The crowd, a silent witness to this clash between an innocent individual and an authoritative figure, felt the palpable shift in dynamics. The air crackled with tension as Officer Lloyd maintained a firm grip on Harry, who was now being hurried towards the police station entrance but was stopped by the large amount of people, mainly officers huddling around the door. The crowd murmured, bystanders caught between curiosity and concern. In the midst of the chaos, Harry’s demand to see Louis reverberated through the air.

“I need to speak with him! I know Louis, I need to see him!” Harry insisted loudly to anyone he passed along the way, his words punctuated by the jarring clink of the handcuffs.

The other officers, not aware of the full extent of the altercation, watched on, their patience wearing thin at Harry’s disruption, dismissing Harry’s pleas as the erratic behavior of someone seeking attention. “You’re just trying to get your fifteen minutes of fame.” One officer retorted, a skeptical glare fixed on Harry.

Undeterred, Harry’s persistence caught another officer’s attention. Reluctantly, the officer approached Harry and asked:

“What’s your name?”

Harry let out a sigh, relieved that someone was actually now listening as Lloyd’s eye roll went undetected.

“Harry. My name is Harry Styles.” he replied firmly, the words laden with a determination that hinted at a deeper connection. “ I need to speak with Louis, please. I know him.”

Intrigued by this revelation, Officer Lloyd stepped away as the new unnamed officer began to confer with Detective Reign who was close by. As the two men exchanged words, the atmosphere remained charged with uncertainty. Detective Reign, facing the task of now verifying Harry’s claim, delivered a quick warning, before he began to enter the police station, leaving Harry outside with the officers.

“ Stay put, and please, quieten it down.”

“ But he was the one-”

As Harry locked eyes with Reign, he immediately sealed his lips and offered a nod in agreement. This opportunity to reconnect with Louis was too crucial to jeopardize with any wrong doings.

“ Okay.” 

🚨 

Gently knocking on the door of the interview room, Reign subtly entered, his gaze immediately fixing upon Louis. Engaged in conversation with Garcia about the upcoming plans for the next day, Louis looked up, meeting Reign’s eyes with weariness.

“Apologies for the abrupt interruption. There seems to be a situation outside; we suspect it may be a member of the press attempting to get a story from you. However, the intensity of his insistence prompted me to double-check, just to be sure. There is a man outside, he is determined to see you and is certain you are acquainted.”

Louis’ curiosity heightened, a natural response given his limited circle of family and friends. He leaned in, waiting for more details to unfold as Reign continued on.

“So, do you know a…” he looked down at his clipboard that he was clutching. “ A Mr. Styles?“ Detective Reign inquired, hoping for a connection that might shed some light on the situation.

Louis furrowed his brow, pondering the name.

“ Styles, Styles ,“ he whispered to himself, the syllables bouncing off his tongue, a desperate inner part of him grasping for any hint of recognition but failing.

In a brief pause for contemplation, he shook his head.

“Mr. Styles? No. Sorry, I’m not familiar with that name.” he responded, unaware of the unfolding drama outside and the fact that Louis’ intuitive instincts, like an unseen force, once again closed the door on a potential lifeline that fate was throwing his way.

🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Any new guesses?

Where is Saxon? 🥺

Poor Louis 😭

How will Harry get to Louis?

Also here is how I see the two main Detectives.

Garcia

Reign

Chapter 5 - Found You

A/N

You are going to be happy at the end. That’s all im saying. 🫶🩵💚

‘ There are only four words that can carry more profound weight than ‘I love you.’ And those four words are:

‘I’m here for you.’

🚨

The police station doors swung open, and Detective Reign emerged, casting a serious glance towards Harry. There was just something about Reign’s expression that hinted at an unwelcome revelation, causing Harry to brace himself for the impending bad news. With each step that he took closer, Harry found himself involuntarily losing hope.

As he neared, Reign’s subtle head shake delivered the weighty news confirming Harry’s worst fear – Louis, didn’t remember him.

“ I’m sorry, but Mr Tomlinson has no idea who you are, now please, kindly return to the designated area alongside everybody else.”

“There must be some kind of mistake.” Harry stammered, his voice barely audible over the ambient noise. Detective Reign maintained a stern expression, continuing to urge him to step back behind the barricade with the rest of the onlookers.

In what was beginning to feel like a nightmare of an emotional storm, Harry wrestled with the dilemma of whether to push forward or honor the constraints imposed by those in authority. The choice, like the threads of their past, lingered in the air—a silent plea for resolution in the midst of a heartbroken reunion that fate was sadly trying to orchestrate.

Resigned, Harry retreated, not daring to challenge the unfolding narrative. The sense of not meaning as much to Louis as Louis meant to him was a disorienting realization. It was as if the echoes of their shared past collided with the present reality, leaving Harry in a state of bewilderment.

Did he make this trip for nothing? Had his intuition been wrong all along?

Standing behind the barricade, Harry faught with the haunting question of whether Louis had intentionally forgotten him, or if the sands of time had simply eroded their connection.

A huddle of people exited out of the door and then, there he was—Louis Tomlinson, the person he had desired to find for years. A flood of emotions surged through Harry as he laid eyes on Louis for the first time since their separation. The years melted away, and the world narrowed down as he focused in on the single figure who looked sad and somewhat lost as he manoeuvred forward.

Both Detective Reign and Louis were making their way to the mini temporary ‘stage’. The distant hum of the crowd merged with the ache in his chest as he observed Louis, a figure of mystery and nostalgia, amidst the chaotic backdrop of the police station.

Fuck, he can’t get over how much Liam had been right. This was hard on all levels. He doesn’t know if he can do this.

The crowd closed in around him, each person acting like a barrier between him and the one person who had ever made such a significant impact on his life.

Undeterred, right there and then, Harry decided to attempt to scoot closer to the front, but the press of endless bodies against him made it impossible to do so. Every inch gained was quickly lost as others hustled for a glimpse. Frustration and desperation etched on his face, but he persisted, driven by an unrelenting need to see Louis.

As Detective Reign ascended the podium, the atmosphere heightened. The crowd hushed, and Harry’s breath caught in his throat.

Louis, oblivious to Harry’s presence, listened intently to Detective Reign’s words. Harry felt a mix of relief and longing, his gaze fixed on Louis, absorbing every detail.  Despite Louis standing directly before him, the distance between them, be it physical or emotional, remained the same.

Louis was so close, yet at the same time so far away. But Harry couldn’t tear his eyes away from him. The reunion he never thought possible was now within an arms reach, separated only by a sea of people and the weight of their shared history.

Harry’s gaze remained fixated on Louis. The subtle shifts in Louis’ expression, the furrow of his brow, and the way he clutched his hands—each movement a cryptic broken puzzle piece that he wished he could mend back together. Yet the magnetic pull between them, once so undeniable, seemed muffled by the noise of the crowd.

As Detective Reign began to address the crowd, Harry struggled to maintain his composure. He marveled at how Louis appeared—different, yet unmistakably himself.

A ripple of restlessness swept through the crowd as Detective Reign disclosed details about the ongoing investigation. Reporters fired questions, and the air buzzed with the hum of anticipation. Despite the chaos, Harry remained fixated on Louis, unable to process the whirlwind of emotions coursing through him.

Louis, still unaware of Harry’s presence, listened intently to the update. Harry couldn’t help but admire the strength radiating from him, a stark contrast to the vulnerable moments they once shared. The gravity of the situation sunk in—Louis, a father searching for his missing child, was navigating a world of uncertainty and fear and Harry wanted nothing more than to help him.

As Detective Reign concluded the briefing, the crowd erupted into a cacophony of voices, each person eager to discuss the latest developments. Harry seized the opportunity to inch closer, determined to bridge the gap that had widened over the years. However, every endeavor to reach Louis was foiled by the throng of bodies and the pandemonium that surrounded them.

Overwhelmed by the crowd and the flood of emotions, Harry found himself at a crossroads. He desperately wanted to reach out to Louis, to share in the weight of grief, to help the man he had spent so many nights thinking about, but the circumstances and the years apart created an unspoken barrier. As he stood there, torn between proximity and respect for the situation, Harry grappled with the complexity of their reunion in the midst of a crisis.

However, one thing remained, his eyes never left Louis.

🚨

Rewind 2 Hours

“Louis” Garcia started. “I want to update you on our plan. We’re initiating the water search for Saxon, I believe they were deployed about five minutes ago near the playground.”

“You know me enough by now, please explain it to me in a way I will understand, not all that mumbo jumbo fancy police talk. Please.”

Louis braced himself, inhaling deeply as he readied himself for the impending wave of new information he knew was coming his way. 

“We have a team of trained divers who will enter the lake. They’ll use specialized equipment, including sonar, to scan the underwater environment.”

“Sonar?”

“Yes, sonar helps create images of what’s beneath the surface. It’s like creating a map of the underwater terrain. Let me show you something.”

opens images on her phone

“What’s that?” Louis inquires as he leans forward for a closer look.

“These are sonar images from previous searches. See these dark areas? That’s where the sonar detected irregularities on the lake or riverbed.”

“Irregularities?”

“Yes, it could be anything that stands out—objects, for example, or anything out of the ordinary. Our divers investigate each of these points.”

“So, they’re looking for anything unusual?”

“Exactly. Anything that might provide a clue about Saxon’s whereabouts. The divers carefully inspect each area, and if needed, they’ll use underwater cameras for a closer look. Specialized cameras help us capture detailed images. It’s like creating an underwater visual record.”

“And what if they find something?”

Louis hesitated to ask that particular question, a lingering fear in him reluctant to uncover the answer.

“If they find any potential evidence, it’s marked, documented, and, if possible, retrieved for further examination. We’re thorough in analyzing any findings.”

“And what about the divers? How do they know where to look? The area is large and-”

Garcia intervened with a gentle interruption, recognizing Louis’ overwhelmed state. She rose, heading to the coffee machine, and poured them both a cup in contemplative silence. As she slid the cup toward Louis and took a sip of her own, the act granted him a moment to collect his thoughts and regain a semblance of composure. With his breathing steadier, she resumed their conversation.

“The divers follow specific patterns, like grids or circles, to cover the entire area systematically. I’m not going to lie, It’s hard work, but it ensures a thorough search.

Louis nodded as he listened closely. Garcia smiled softly, looking around the room, noticing how most officers had cleared out.

“What about safety? Are they experienced enough, that’s a deep lake.” Louis asks, and Garcia is genuinely surprised at how concerned Louis is for the others.

“Safety is our top priority. Divers follow strict protocols, and we have support personnel on standby. They monitor dive times, assist with equipment, and are ready to provide immediate help if needed. Don’t worry about them Louis, worry about yourself okay.”

Louis furrowed his brow, trying to absorb the information.

“And how deep are they diving?”

“Different divers have different capabilities, but generally, they can go to significant depths. Our team is well-equipped for various conditions. Louis you don’t need to worry about them I promise. It’s what they are trained for. You have enough to worry about already. ”

Louis drew in a deep breath, the weight of the information sinking in. The subtle shift in his demeanor didn’t escape Garcia’s notice. He nervously nibbled on his bottom lip, fingers fumbling about in unease. A faint streak of red marked his thumb where he had unknowingly picked at it with nerves, a physical manifestation of the hundred and one different emotions taking over him.

“How soon can, you know, you know if um..if he…”

Garcia gently laid her hand on Louis’ arm, a silent reassurance in response to the unspoken fear reflected in his eyes. It was understandable and warranted – the realization that, at any given moment, the ongoing search might bring forth news about the fate of his little boy that he may not want to hear.

“Communication is crucial. Divers use radios and hand signals to stay in touch with each other and the surface team. If they find anything we will know immediately.”

“This is a lot to take in.”

“I understand.”

Louis, who definitely needed this coffee, skulls down the remaining amount ignoring the way it slightly burned his throat.

“How long does all this take?”

Garcia’s phone beeped causing her to divert her attention to her screen as she continued to speak.

“The duration varies based on the size and conditions of the water body. It’s meticulous work, but we have to do what we gotta do in order to try and bring Saxon back to you.”

“I appreciate all the effort, Garcia. I really do.”

“You’re welcome. As I’ve mentioned before, we’re committed to finding him Louis. Now, I need to step out for a bit. Oli can come back in, or perhaps you’d like to head home for some rest?” The unspoken response in Louis’ gaze was clear enough for Garcia to understand.

“Alright, then. Just be aware, the crowd outside is quite substantial today. If you decide to go out, please exercise caution.”

“Thank you. I think I’ll wait in here.”

🚨

An hour later

A sharp knock on the door startled Louis and Oli as they both turned around to find an unnamed officer poking his head in.

“Mr. Tomlinson, Detective Reign and Garcia would like you to follow me, please. They wish to see you immediately.”

A sudden wave of panic gripped Louis, thoughts racing through his mind as he barely managed to breathe. The divers had been out in the lake – was there an update? Was it good news or bad? Louis instinctively grabbed Oli’s arm, pulling him along knowing that his best friend’s presence provided a small sense of comfort in the face of impending uncertainty.

As they followed the older officer down a corridor, Louis struggled to maintain composure. Thoughts cascaded through his mind like a torrent. What if they found something significant? What if it was another dead-end? The corridor seemed to stretch endlessly as Louis wrestled with the unknown, his heart pounding in sync with each step.

🚨

In a room starkly illuminated by harsh fluorescent lights, Louis found himself surrounded by Garcia, Reign, and an unfamiliar man. The walls, plastered with charts and maps, seemed to close in on them, displaying the intricacies of their search efforts. The police evidence board stood out like a careful mosaic of the ongoing investigation. A vast white canvas was stretched across the wall, covered with a network of colored strings connecting pins that marked crucial points in the case. Each pin held a photograph, document, or a note, forming a collage of evidence and potential leads. The board was a visual orchestration of information, a tangible manifestation of the collective effort to piece together the mystery, and its organized chaos hinted at the complexity of the missing person case.

A table, cluttered with scattered papers, a laptop, and the remnants of countless coffee cups, stood as the epicenter of their collective pursuit. The room exuded a clinical ambiance, accentuated by the sterile brightness of the lights.

Louis felt a mix of anticipation and fear. A blend of hope and trepidation gripped him, and the atmosphere in the room bore the substantial weight of countless possibilities. He struggled to rein in the tempest of emotions swirling tumultuously within him, the air thick with the gravity of what might unfold.

“ Louis, please take a seat.”

Reign eyed Oli and before he could even say anything Louis was quick to make sure he stayed.

“ Let him stay, please. I’m just gonna tell him everything anyway.” Louis said as he yawned yet again.

Reign acknowledged with a nod, exchanging a glance with Garcia, who reciprocated. An unsettling sensation lingered, a nagging feeling that something was amiss.

Louis pondered with the question:

What was wrong?

“ Louis, what we are about to tell you is going to be hard to hear, but I need you to try and remain calm.” 

“ W- what?” Louis stammered. Louis felt a chill creeping down his spine, a subtle shiver as Reign seamlessly resumed control of the conversation. The room held its collective breath as he delicately opened the laptop.

“It’s been brought to our attention that some video footage has surfaced from a business across the street from the park.” Reign disclosed. As he continued, Louis sensed the seriousness of each word, his concerned fatherly instincts intensifying by the second as he glanced at Oli with fear.

“After examining the video, we’ve discovered something of significance that we need to share with you. I ask that you direct your attention to the screen.”

Louis exhaled, his breath hitching slightly with nervous anticipation as he awaited the playback of the footage. The room seemed suspended in a moment, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever he was about to witness would be a turning point in the search for Saxon.

The screen flickered to life, revealing the familiar playground from the vantage point of a hairdresser’s shop across the street.

“ It’s not much, and it doesn’t give us a lot to go on, but it’s a start.”

Louis’ heart raced, fatigue momentarily forgotten as this new footage began to play. Garcia’s measured words echoed in his ears, cautioning against overly optimistic expectations.

His eyes darted across the screen, absorbing the recorded movements of people in the vicinity. Images flickered on the screen, and for the first time since Saxon went missing Louis finally had a spark in his eye, a glimmer of disbelief transforming into something more profound. Yet, Garcia’s quick, sobering look douses this spark of optimism. Shifting his gaze back to the screen, he focuses on every detail as Reign halts the video, marking a pivotal point in the unfolding narrative.

Suddenly, Reign’s voice cut through, “Right there.” He pointed to the top corner, revealing a glimpse of a little boy in the higher part of the frame.

There, in that fleeting moment, Louis leaned forward, his head almost colliding with the laptop as he inched as close as he could to see the small image.

Then, there he was.

Louis spotted his baby boy, his one and only child, his absolute everything, his little Saxon. He fixated on the screen, his gaze locked on the image, and a glimmer of hope re- kindled within him.

The visuals were limited, but within that constrained frame, Louis noticed a poignant detail: Saxon’s back was facing the camera, his head turned upward and to the right. It wasn’t until that moment that Louis caught sight of something crucial.

In the same direction and almost hidden from view, was a hand.

Louis’ blood ran cold as the truth permeated his brain.

Someone was holding Saxon’s hand, and he didn’t know who that someone was.

Louis’ heart falters, the tears streaming down his face as an inexplicable mix of emotions grips him. He struggles to draw a breath, realizing that someone has his boy. In the midst of this overwhelming moment, Reign seizes the chance to address Louis formally. “So, just for the record, Louis, I need you to confirm officially whether that is or is not your missing child on the screen.”

His voice breaks as he answers, the tremors in his body betraying the emotional turmoil within. Garcia places a comforting hand on him, and he manages to utter, “Yes, that’s him. Who has my son?”

In a suspended moment, Reign and Garcia exchange glances, communicating volumes with a shared look. Louis’ wish intensifies, a desire to snatch the petite notepad from Reigns hands and decode the enigmatic messages inscribed upon its pages.

In the not-so-distant past, his world revolved around toy cars, sippy cups, and bedtime stories. Now, as he watches the detective transcribe, the familiar melody of his life has transformed into the symphony of pens scratching, voices resonating through walkie-talkies, and the rhythmic clicking of keys.

“That’s the question, isn’t it? Louis, I understand this must be terrifying for you, but believe it or not, this is good news. Saxon is alive, not wandering alone somewhere. We must maintain a positive outlook in this situation. We now have something to go on.”

Observing Louis trembling, Garcia extends a bottle of water, but he declines, his attention riveted on Reign, who is now  engaged in a phone call, and utters decisively.

“Yeah it’s Reign here, call off the water search. He isn’t in there. Oh, you have finished already, okay good, gather up all available officers, it’s time for another media update.”

The room hangs in suspense as the weight of this statement settles in.

“Reign will handle the update. You’re welcome to join beside him for support, or you can simply remain here. The decision is entirely yours.”

The room’s atmosphere sways between tension and choice, awaiting Louis’ response.

🚨

Outside the Doncaster Police Station, the scene is a whirlwind of buzzing activity.

The crowd has swelled with twice as many people as before, comprising an increased press presence along with concerned citizens drawn to the unfolding drama.

Journalists and camerapersons jostle for prime positions, capturing every word and expression. Microphones extend like antennaes, capturing the charged atmosphere.

Among the sea of onlookers, some wear T-shirts displaying the desperate plea: “Have you seen Saxon?” accompanied with a picture of his face. The simple question is a rallying cry, a testament to the community’s unity in the face of adversity.

Louis, observing the growing support, is moved by the display of solidarity as he steps out the door. The sight of strangers donning those shirts tugs at his heart, and he feels a surge of gratitude for the collective effort to find his son. Tears glisten in his eyes as he absorbs the overwhelming outpouring of compassion from those who have come together to help.

He moves alongside Reign who prepares to address the media.

“ Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience. We have a crucial update in the search for Saxon Tomlinson. Recent CCTV footage has identified him being accompanied by an unknown individual leading away from his last known location.”

pauses for dramatic effect

Louis, standing beside Reign, feels a surge of hope followed by an onset of sudden anxiety as he listens to several gasps.

“ The footage shows Saxon holding someone’s hand, suggesting that he’s not alone. This is a significant development in our efforts to bring him home.”

The media erupts with reporters clamoring to ask questions.

“ One at a time, please!”

gestures for order

Amidst the chaos, Reign points to a reporter who manages to shout out over the others.

Reporter 1: “ Was the hand that of a male or female?”

“ We can’t definitively determine that at this time. The hand is only vaguely visible in the footage, and no distinguishing marks such as tattoos, birthmarks or jewellery are apparent. We’re analyzing all available information to identify the individual with Saxon.”

Louis, hanging on to every word, listens intently, emotions swirling within him as he finds it difficult to look at the million different cameras pointing at him.

Reporter 2: “ Are there any leads on who might be with Saxon? Anyone the parent may know or suspect?“

“Our investigation is actively pursuing all possible leads. We urge the public to remain vigilant and report any information that could assist us in locating Saxon.”

Reporter 3: “ Can you confirm if there was any struggle or resistance in the footage?“

“ Again, the footage is still being analyzed, and it’s challenging to draw any definitive conclusions at this point. Our focus is on Saxon’s safe return, and we’re working diligently to piece together the details.“

Reporter 4: “ How is the family coping with this new development?“

“This is an incredibly challenging time for the family. We’re providing them with support, and our primary goal is to reunite them with Saxon. Any updates on the family’s well-being will be shared only with their consent.”

Reporter 5: “ Do you believe this was a planned abduction?“

“At this stage, it’s premature to speculate on motives. Our priority is locating Saxon and ensuring his safety. We’re exploring all possibilities and following the evidence as it unfolds.”

Reporter 6: “ As we reach the twenty-four-hour mark, no significant leads have emerged in regards to recovering the boy. Is there a dwindling sense of optimism in finding him, and should the community express concerns for the safety of other children?

Reign: “ We understand your concerns and share your urgency. We are doing everything within our power to bring clarity to this situation, but please all remain calm.”

Clearing his throat, Detective Reign maintains a focused demeanor, avoiding direct eye contact with Louis as he continues to address the public and guilt trip Louis at the same time.

“ Ensuring the safety of your children is paramount, and maintaining vigilance is crucial, always keep an eye on your children. We value your cooperation and understanding as we navigate through this crucial phase of the investigation.“

The media continues with a barrage of questions, but Reign raises his hand, signaling the end of the briefing.

The tight grip of anguish wraps around Louis’ chest as Detective Reign delivers that final blow, because ouch.

The weight of that comment pulls at him as he stands there, almost statuesque, absorbing everything around him. The sea of faces in the crowd becomes a blurred mosaic, but one smirk, Wakefield’s, stands out like a grotesque emblem of disdain. Louis feels the collective gaze, not overtly critical, yet a subtle undercurrent of scrutiny. An unsettling tide of anxiety rises within him, swelling with each passing moment of public attention.

He needs to get away.

Navigating through the dense crowd, Louis feels the pressure building in his chest, each step amplifying the dissonance in his mind. The comments from the onlookers, a disheartening chorus of judgement, intensify the overwhelming anxiety. He quickens his pace, desperately seeking an escape from the suffocating scrutiny. The harsh remarks about his parenting reverberate, cutting deep, and as he manages to carve a path through the sea of people, the need for solace and escape becomes increasingly urgent.

Louis overhears snippets of hushed conversations among the people, a medley of judgmental remarks and whispered criticisms. Some comment on his parenting skills, questioning his ability to keep his child safe. Words like “failure” and “negligence” buzz around him, each one like a dagger aimed at his already vulnerable state.  Louis swiftly navigates the path towards the restroom, the prominent “Toilet” sign guiding his way. Garcia calls out his name, but he remains focused on his short escape.

In just ten seconds, reporters catch wind of his movement, bombarding him with questions. “ Louis, Louis, Louis, care to comment?“ They continue to press as he pushes past, determined to find a moment to be alone.

In the midst of the crowd, Louis accidentially finds himself cornered by a relentless reporter who fires insensitive questions with a cold indifference. “How are you going to feel if your son is found dead?” and “What does the other parent think about your inability to keep him safe?”  The crowd, usually a mix of support and concern, seems different today—less empathetic, and more judgmental. Their glances feel like accusing fingers, and the weight of their unspoken criticism intensifies Louis’ urgency to escape.

Louis ignores the asshole and navigates through the remaining crowd, finally seeking refuge in a nearby restroom around the side of the police station. As he enters, he immediately leans against the sink, gasping for breath. The tiled walls echo with the distant hum of the crowd outside, and Louis fights to compose himself in the face of the harsh words that linger in his mind.

The bathroom, a dimly lit sanctuary, offers little peace to Louis as he stands amidst cold, sterile tiles. The flickering fluorescent light casts an eerie glow, accentuating the wear and tear of the room. The mirror, smudged and stained, reflects a worn-out version of Louis, dark circles beneath his eyes revealing nights without sleep, a face marked by the strain of worry.

The air in the confined space is heavy with the scent of disinfectant, a stark contrast to the anxiety that lingers. The hum of a faulty ventilation fan creates a dissonant soundtrack to Louis’ internal struggle. The sink, chipped at the edges, becomes a makeshift refuge as Louis splashes water on his face, attempting to wash away the emotional weight pressing on his chest.

Exhaustion clings to him like a second skin, his small frame weighed down by the cumulative toll of relentless searching and new sense of scrutiny. Unsteady breaths escape him in ragged intervals, and as he breaks down, tears mingling with the water on his face. Each sob echoes in the confined space, a testament to the overwhelming grief he’s been carrying.

The creak of the door interrupts his solitude, and Louis, startled, snaps his head around letting out an intense yell. “Please, just leave me alone for one second!” he pleads forcefully, his voice shaky yet filled with a raw desperation for peace and quiet.

All signs of life drain from Louis’ face as he stands frozen, disbelief plastered across his features. His eyes fixate on the silent figure entering the bathroom, a surreal moment that unravels before him. The figure takes a small, deliberate step forward, and Louis feels the air in the room begin to constrict.

“Found you” a voice sounds, a simple phrase that reverberates in the stagnant air. The words hit Louis like an unexpected force, and suddenly, the room begins to spin around him. A surge of dizziness washes over him, and his vision blurs as if reality itself is warping. He has no time to fathom what is happening as little black dots form in front of his eyes.

In that disorienting moment, Louis loses total control over his body. His legs buckle beneath him, and he begins to crumble to the ground, consciousness slipping away rapidly. The sound of slurred words fill the air as he descends into darkness. Just before he hits the unforgiving tile, a pair of strong arms wrap around him rushing forward just in the nick of time, catching Louis and preventing his descent into unconsciousness.

“ Someone please help, we need an ambulance NOW!”

🚨

Louis slowly forces open his eyelids, the harsh hospital light seeping into his vision. Blinking away the grogginess, he takes in his surroundings—the sterile, antiseptic scent of the hospital, the hum of machinery, and the soft beeping of monitors fill his ears. His gaze shifts to the seat beside the hospital bed, and there, sitting beside him, is Oli, his face visible with that of deep concern.

As Louis attempts to sit up, he feels a wave of disorientation washing over him. He stumbles slightly, and Oli’s eyes widen with worry. “Jesus, Louis, you scared the crap out of me. Thank goodness you’re awake.” Oli exclaims, a mix of relief and anxiety evident in his voice.

The hospital room is a canvas of pale walls and sanitized equipment. Machines stand sentinel, their screens displaying vital signs. A bouquet of flowers on the bedside table injects a touch of color into the clinical setting. Louis notices the rhythmic sound of distant footsteps, indicating the heart of the hospital.

In a concerned haste, Oli reaches for the button near the bed, summoning a nurse. “How did I get here, what the fuck happened Oli?” Louis asks, his voice laced with confusion and a tinge of vulnerability. The worry lines on Oli’s forehead deepen as he searches for the right words to explain Louis’ unexpected hospitalization.

The nurse, arriving promptly, does not allow for a response but she does adjust a few things on the medical equipment and turns to address Louis after overhearing his question. Her voice is calm and reassuring as she responds. “You were unconscious for about eight hours. We were monitoring you closely, and we’re glad to see you awake and alert now.”

Louis, still grappling with the fog of recent events, absorbs this news. The sterile atmosphere of the hospital room provides little comfort, and he feels a mixture of relief and lingering disorientation. Oli, sitting by his side, offers a supportive nod, silently conveying his presence and concern.

“Eight hours? I can’t be sleeping for eight hours; I need to find Saxon!” Louis begins pulling at the air cord and blood pressure cuff in an attempt to leave promptly.

“Louis, please stop. You need to rest. Your body shut down completely. The doctor is on his way; he should be here any second. Until then, I need you to listen to me and relax.”

The nurse, with a clipboard in hand, begins to explain the plan moving forward. “We’ll continue to monitor your vitals and may run additional tests, depending on the doctor’s assessment, to ensure everything remains stable. Speaking of which, the doctor will be in shortly to discuss the details of what happened, and the plan for your recovery. For now, it’s essential to rest and take it easy.”

Oli chimes in, adding. “if there’s anything you need Louis, just let us know. We’re all here for you.”

“ Who is we… exactly?”

The nurse diligently jots down observations in her notes, casting a momentary hush over the room, as if the air itself had whispered for silence. A reassuring smile graces her face, but before departing, she gently cautions Louis to remain seated and urges him to hydrate, gesturing towards the water at his side.

“Your mum and sisters are here.“ Oli begins, his tone holding a mix of concern and anticipation. “They arrived back from their trip and came straight here. Your mum is so worried about you. She’s been by your side the entire time, but she’s not long just stepped out to tend to the kids. Also, there’s someone else, and I think you’re going to—”

Louis’ gaze shifts towards the door, anticipation building, as a doctor enters the room, clad in the stereotypical white coat adorned with a stethoscope, embodying the quintessential medical professional.

“Mr. Tomlinson, I’m glad to see you are  awake. I’m Dr. Mitchell. How are you feeling?” A polite smile curves Louis’ lips, but Oli can discern its veneer. Louis seems to offer the words the doctor desires, an artful means of expediting his prompt departure.

“Great. Much better actually.” Louis responds.

“That’s good to hear.” The doc  acknowledges. “We ran some tests upon your arrival, and it appears that you experienced vasovagal syncope.”

Louis, clearly confused, scrunches up his nose. “Vasovagal what now?”

The doctor smiles at Louis’ tone. “Vasovagal syncope. It’s a type of fainting episode. In your case, it seems to have been triggered by a strong emotional or stressful response.”

“But why did I pass out? What happened to me?” Louis inquires, his eyes darting between Oli and the doctor, assuming Oli is privy to the answer, but the doctor is quick to respond.

“When certain triggers, like emotional stress or pain, stimulate your vagus nerve, it can cause a sudden drop in heart rate and blood pressure. This leads to a temporary reduction in blood flow to the brain, resulting in fainting.”

Louis runs his hands down over his face, fully frustrated at himself for once again feeling like a failure who succumbs to his own needs instead of searching for his boy. Sheepishly he asks. “ Is this something serious?”

“ Generally, vasovagal syncope isn’t serious, but it’s essential to understand what triggered it. In your case, the stress and emotional strain you’ve been under likely played a significant role. Your mate here also informed us that you haven’t slept, eaten or drank much since, well, since your son went missing. That will take a massive toll on your body.”

Louis, feeling a bit embarrassed, lowers his head to his lap. Eager to leave, he straightforwardly asks, “How can I prevent this from happening again? No offence, but I really need to get back to the station.”

Doctor Mitchell, engrossed in Louis’ chart, provides his insights as he continues to speak.

“Well, avoiding triggers is a good start. Stay hydrated, manage stress through relaxation techniques if you can. I know it’s easier said than done when you are going through this horrific ordeal but try to be mindful of situations that might provoke a strong emotional response. We administered a drip earlier on to hydrate you, that’s what that is right there in your arm. We can remove that in a second for you. Hopefully within the next hour you can go home after we have completed the discharge forms.”

Nodding in agreement, Louis watches the nurse start preparing to remove the cannula. “Alright, thanks, doc. I just want to get back out there and find my son. Thank you for helping me.”

Doctor Mitchell pauses, turning back with a final glance. “I understand, Mr. Tomlinson. I can’t fathom what you’re going through, but taking care of your health is also crucial. Please look after yourself.” he says, a touch of empathy in his voice. As he heads towards the door, he adds. “And Louis… I sincerely hope they find your son.”

The moment the door is closed, Louis watches intently as the nurse carefully peels away the edges of the plaster, revealing the small, plastic tube beneath. The room is filled with the soft rustle of medical supplies as she methodically prepares to remove the cannula. The cool, sterilized atmosphere amplifies the minor discomfort of the process, creating a fleeting sensation as the nurse skillfully extracts the medical apparatus.

The nurse, who has just taken out the cannula, asks Louis to apply some pressure to stop the bleeding.

“If you can just hold that firmly in place for a couple of seconds then I will be all done.”

As she collects the rubbish, she smiles gently and moves towards the door, Louis watching her every move.

It is quite often said via words of wisdom, that in life one of our little pinkies are wrapped with an invisible red thread which connects those who are destined to meet. Regardless of time, place or circumstance, one thing is for sure. The thread may stretch, it may even tangle, but one thing will always remain the same.

It will never break.

As the nurse opens the door to leave, Louis’ eyes bulge in disbelief, as he makes eye contact for the smallest millisecond. As the door swings back closed he looks to Oli like he has seen a ghost, his eyelids flicking so fast as he frowns.

“ Louis, are you okay?”

Louis opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. He shakes his head side to side.

“ No, I mean. I thought I was but..Oli I swear I’m seeing things.”

Oli sits up straight, already getting ready to call back the doctor when Louis looks to him feeling like a madman.

“ Before I collapsed and also literally just then, I swear I..” he pauses for a second because he knows he is about to sound crazy, but he also knows Oli enough to realise that he won’t make fun of him.

“ I thought I saw Harry.”

Oli leans closer already beginning to fidget. He bites his thumb nail before gathering up how to explain this.

“ Yeah, um … about that.”

Louis sat there, suspended in uncertainty, as Oli approached the door with a purposeful stride. There was a palpable tension in the room, a silent prelude to an unfolding revelation. Oli’s movements seemed marked by unusual behavior, triggering a subtle concern in Louis as he approached the door.

As Oli turned the doorknob, the creaking hinge marked the beginning of a moment that would reshape the contours of Louis’ reality. The threshold beckoned, and Oli’s departure left an echo of unspoken words hanging in the space between them. Louis hesitated, caught in the gravity of the impending encounter.

It wasn’t until the door swung back open, revealing a scene beyond Louis’ immediate view, that a subtle smile played on Oli’s lips. Louis, his pulse quickening, noticed the nod Oli exchanged with someone unseen. A gulp betrayed the unease that swirled within him, as if the room itself held its breath, awaiting the revelation that lingered just beyond the doorway.

As Oli stepped aside, Louis felt it all.

He felt his insides turn, he felt that same flutter in his stomach, same overwhelming sense of calmess, same desire, same everything! It was like his body had succumbed to a type of serenity he didn’t know he had needed.

In that sacred moment, their eyes locked, and time itself seemed to yield to the gravity of their connection. The room, once filled with the sterile hum of hospital machinery, transformed into an intimate haven where only the soft cadence of their heartbeats could be heard. Harry’s entrance was not just a physical presence; it was a symphony of emotions rekindling, a silent declaration echoing the unspoken promises of yesteryears.

Louis felt his heartbeat sync with the rhythm of an unspoken melody, the fluttering butterflies in his stomach now orchestrating a love-laden sonnet. Every inch of his being resonated with the magnetic pull drawing him towards the figure at the door. The musky scent, so deeply intertwined with memories of shared laughter and stolen glances, wove a tapestry of nostalgia around them. It was as if time itself had stopped, leaving only the serenity of the moment that embraced him in a warm, comforting cocoon.

As Louis’ gaze met his, the world around them blurred into insignificance. It was more than a reunion; it was the rekindling of a romance that had been written in the stars. The urge to utter sweet nothings, to convey the depth of emotions that words could scarcely capture, hung in the air like a promise. In the silent communion of their eyes, Louis found a sanctuary—a place where their love unfolded in the most tender and romantic of symphonies.

The urge to leap from the bed, to bridge the distance between them, pulsed through Louis. Yet, an invisible force tethered him, a mix of vulnerability and anticipation that held him firm in place. Words hovered on the tip of his tongue, eager to break free, but the intensity of the reunion rendered him momentarily speechless. In the silent dance of gazes, they communicated volumes, the unspoken language echoing the depth of their connection.

In the hushed atmosphere of the room, Louis and Harry found themselves ensnared in a prolonged gaze, each pair of eyes conveying a myriad of unspoken thoughts.

As Oli discreetly departed the room, his exit seemed to release an undercurrent of emotions. The room, now devoid of a third presence, became an intimate stage for the unexpected reunion. Their eyes, locked in a magnetic trance, exchanged more feelings than words ever could. The history between them, layered with joy, pain, and a hint of vulnerability, unfolded in the quietude.

The lingering quiet after Oli’s departure allowed the weight of their meeting to settle, casting a spell of nostalgia. The uncharted territory of their reunion lay before them, and in the charged air, they stood with a balance of rediscovery.

They say that eyes can touch you in a way that hands never can. It’s true. Both Louis and Harry are feeling something so indescribable that neither of them can fully function.

But it was when Harry stared into those deep blue eyes, the one’s that he would recognize anywhere, that he felt his soul point at Louis and whisper. ‘ Don’t lose him this time .’  that made Harry finally break the ice and Louis hear the exact same words he had heard many years ago.

“ God, you are still so delicately stunning.”

  🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

So…..the reunion is happening, stay calm, Its happening! But……how is it going to go from here ? 👀

Who has Saxon?

😡

Chapter 6 - Reunion

A/N

A shorter chapter this time.

4.5k words.

Also just a reminder, I am in no way affiliated with law enforcement so some things will not be factual and will be made simply for the story only.

’ Let the dreams of your heart become your reality.’

🚨

Sometimes life hands you something so amazing that you insist it must be a dream, but no matter how many times you pinch yourself, you just don’t seem to ‘wake up.’

Even when times are tough, destiny sometimes grants you a small miracle that will help lift you back on your feet. The intention is to hopefully restore your hope and strength, but for Louis, seeing Harry in front of him is a mixed blessing. He doesn’t know if Harry has been sent here to heal his wounds or to reopen them. Was Harry just an obstacle put in place to make him suffer more?

Why? The answer to that is coming later on, but for now, he can’t take his eyes off of Harry. His curl that keeps slipping over his forehead, his emerald eyes that sparkle in the light, his dimples that deepen as he smiles at him…it’s all too much to bear as all Louis can see… is a complete reflection of Saxon.

“ H-Harry?“

The tremor in Louis’ voice, barely more than a breath, was like a fragile acknowledgment that had resonated due to years of pining.

As Harry caught that whispered utterance, a wave of nausea gripped him-years of anticipation and relentless pursuit converging into this pivotal moment. The realization hit him hard; he never imagined he would find himself standing here, the reunion he’d prayed for actually now being answered. In a brief moment of hesitation, he observed the subtle furrow on Louis’ forehead, a mirrored reflection of the nervous tension affecting them both.

With each small step that he took towards Louis, it felt like he was navigating along the edge of a dream that was at the cusp of becoming reality.

“Hi, Louis.” Harry says softly, walking in. He sets the flowers he was holding down on the bedside table and smiles nervously.

“How are you feeling?”

Louis doesn’t know what to say. He hasn’t seen Harry since that night they spent together, years ago. The very night that changed everything. The same very night that gave them a son.

A son… that Louis had lost . A son…that Harry didn’t know anything about.

He feels a surge of guilt and fear come flooding in. He wonders what Harry thinks of him. He wonders if Harry hates him for being a bad father. He wonders if Harry still cares for him at all after seeing his bad parenting plastered all over the news.

He tries to smile back, but it comes out as a grimace. “I’m fine.” he lies. “I’ve been given the all clear to go soon. How… I mean, what are you doing here?”

Harry nods, but he doesn’t look convinced as Louis doesn’t appear fine at all.

Harry just stood there awkwardly trying his very best to conceal the overwhelming desire to bridge the emotional chasm that separated them. Liam’s cautious words echoed in his mind, urging him to tread carefully.

The inner turmoil intensified as Harry wrestled with conflicting impulses. A surge of protectiveness battles with the fear of overstepping boundaries. He hesitated, unsure of the right course of action. But the sight of Louis, tears now slowly streaming down his face, proved to be too much for Harry to bear.

A sudden resolve seized him. ‘Fuck it’ he thought, dismissing the internal debate. With measured steps, Harry approached the hospital bed, driven by an instinct to console him. The gap between them closed as he sat on the edge of the bed at a distance and extended a tentative hand, hovering between the need for caution and the urgency to provide comfort in the face of Louis’ evident distress.

It was meant as a silent invitation for Louis to share whatever burden rested on his weary shoulders, but all Louis did was stare at Harry’s hand making Harry almost retract it immediately. But just before he did, Louis let his hand rest down on top of his. Harry’s hand, warm and reassuring, feels almost too surreal as Louis feels a jolt of electricity run through him.

“Louis, I’m so sorry about what happened.” Harry says, his voice full of emotion. “I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. I know it’s probably weird considering we don’t really know each other and that me just showing up here is more than likely creeping you out but-”

Harry is rushing out a hundred words a second as nerves fully take over.

“What I’m trying to say is that, I just really wish I could have been there for you. For… both of you.”

Harry hesitated before adding those final words. He didn’t want to confront Louis directly about the paternity of the child. He decided to keep quiet and wait for Louis to bring it up when he was ready. He didn’t want to make him more distressed than he already was. Besides, Harry might be mistaken. Maybe the child wasn’t his after all. He hopes to find out eventually, but only if and when Louis chooses to tell him and he was okay with that.

Louis feels tears sting his eyes. He squeezes Harry’s hand, but he can’t meet his gaze. He doesn’t deserve Harry’s sympathy and he most certainly doesn’t deserve Harry’s touch.

“Harry, you don’t have to say that.” he says, his voice breaking. “You don’t owe me anything. What are you sorry for, it’s not your fault, it’s mine. I should have taken better care of him. I should have protected him. I should have…”

The sentence falters on the brink of completion as Louis succumbs to a torrent of emotions, and the weight of it all presses down on him. Without hesitation, Harry enfolds him in a compassionate embrace, drawing him close. Fingers run through Louis’ hair with a delicate touch, a gesture of comfort that transcends words. Amidst the solace of the embrace, Harry leans in, his hushed whispers carrying a soothing tone, an intimate reassurance meant to ease the burden of Louis’ tears.

“Shh, Louis, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It was an accident. A terrible, horrible accident.”

Louis clings to Harry, seeking refuge in the reassuring warmth that was kindly offered. The steady rhythm of Harry’s heartbeat beneath his touch becomes a grounding melody, a lifeline that fate had finally allowed him to accept.

He feels a flicker of hope and comfort but he also feels a little spark of something else. Something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

As the initial surprise fades away, Louis feels a surge of joy at the sight of the man before him. He pulls back and pauses to take in his appearance, noticing how much he has changed. The most striking difference is his hair. Gone are the long, flowing locks that used to frame his face. Instead, he sports a short, sleek haircut that accentuates his features.

He looks up at Harry and sees his green eyes, his dimples, his curl. He not only sees Saxon now, he also sees the man he once adored.

The man he still adores .

“ I can’t believe you are here.“

“ Me either.“ Harry agrees.

The room was beginning to feel like it was a place where the past could be rewritten, where the future held infinite possibilities. In that moment, Louis and Harry dared to believe that their intertwined paths would lead them towards unexpected climaxes, where love and redemption awaited.

Well that’s what Harry believed anyway…Louis…well, he was still struggling.

He seemed to be caught in a relentless struggle, entangled in a web of memories where Saxon’s presence vividly painted itself upon Harry’s face. It’s as if an intricate memory board, distinct and undeniable, unfolds before Louis, each image inscribed within their shared DNA. The struggle persists as these visions dance across Harry’s features, creating a montage of memories that Louis grapples with. Saxon’s essence permeates the air, turning the very act of recollection into a heartbreaking experience, leaving Louis navigating the maze of his own pain, where the past converges with the present in a complex interplay of haunting imagery.

Louis is starting to believe that some choices, once made, leave indelible marks on the makeshift of one’s life, weaving a complex narrative of longing and introspection. Love is not the only greatest gift you can give someone you love, because when you feel a connection to someone who makes you feel those little knots and butterflies, you want to do nothing more than protect them. Louis wants to protect Harry from all this pain, he doesn’t want to be the reason behind it, because should he tell Harry about Saxon, his missing child, when all it is going to do is cause him pain?

Louis is very aware that telling Harry is the right thing to do, he just isn’t sure of the how or when.

“ Harry, there is-“

The door bursts open, propelled by a force that shakes through the room, slamming against the wall in its fervor. Jay, Louis’ mother, rushes to his side with urgency. This marks Jay’s initial face to face encounter with Louis since the news of Saxon’s disappearance, and coupled with Louis’ fainting spell, it transforms her into a living embodiment of emotional distress. Louis can tell just by looking at her tired worried expression that Jay embodies the manifestation of a walking breakdown, a mother completely overwhelmed by her own son’s health and severe concern for her missing grandchild.

However, Jay stands resilient as always but visibly strained, wrestling with the unknown of where Saxon was and consoling her son, a mother desperately seeking answers amidst the storm of unanswered questions.

Jay’s breath catches in her throat at the sight of Louis, who was sitting there, the lines of fatigue still deeply rimmed around his eyes.

“Louis” she whispers, her voice a delicate tremor, as if afraid to disturb the fragile peace. Her hands reach out, fingers trembling, desperate for the reassurance of his warmth. “Oh, my dear boy, I’ve been so worried.”

Louis, meeting his mother’s gaze, blinks back tears that have lingered too long. His body, weary and battered, responds to the proximity of his mother’s touch. His hand, almost involuntarily, seeks hers, fingers intertwining in a silent plea for connection.

“I’m okay, Mum.” he manages, his voice a fragile echo of strength as he attempts to mask the torrent of emotions threatening to spill over, and to be honest, as stupid as it sounds, he doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Harry.

“ Saxon, he, my Saxon is gone. My baby is gone mum. I can’t find him, they can’t find him, no-one can find him.“

Jay, her eyes glistening with tears, leans down to press a tender kiss on Louis’ forehead.

“ Oh sweetheart, we will find him darling, we will.“

The love she feels for her son transcends words, and in this hospital room, the air becomes thick with the palpable essence of a mother’s unwavering devotion.

“I can’t bear to see you like this.” she confesses, her voice breaking as she reaches out to brush a strand of hair from Louis’ face, a gesture both maternal and heartbreakingly brittle.

As Louis succumbs to the weight of his emotions, tears stream down his face. Jay, undeterred by her own tears, pulls him into a gentle embrace. His shoulders shake with silent sobs, and Jay’s soothing whispers become a lullaby for a wounded soul.

Harry, sensing the intimacy of the moment, quietly steps back, giving them the privacy to navigate the depths of their shared pain. He exits quietly as the door closes softly, leaving mother and son in a state of raw emotion, bound together by the unbreakable ties of family love.

“ You alright? How it’d go?“ Oli asks as soon as the door closes.

As Harry and Oli stand in the hallway, engaged in the heavy silence of shared concern, they exchange a glance that speaks volumes.

“ Harder than I thought.“

After a moment of quiet solidarity, Harry takes a deep breath, as if attempting to dispel the emotional weight that clings to him. He glances at Oli, an inaudible acknowledgment of the difficulty faced inside that room. Oli, in turn, offers a supportive nod, understanding exactly how he feels having been in that position himself.

In this hospital corridor, time seems to hang suspended, allowing the echoes of emotions to reverberate. Harry and Oli, united in their concern for Louis, stand side by side, each contemplating what to do next? What to say? How to help? The journey ahead remains uncertain, but the bonds of new friendship and family will undoubtedly play a crucial role in navigating the uncharted waters of loss and hope.

“ Oli I’ve got to go and check into the hotel and take a shower.“ Harry says out of the blue as Oli looks down at his suitcase that is still resting against the seat.

“Yeah, yeah that’s a good idea, visiting hours are over in five minutes anyway. But I think they said he was gonna be discharged anyway so, are you going to-”

Their conversation ends there prematurely because jay appears from Louis’ room, her fingers lingering on her bottom lip as she struggles to keep herself together. Any second now she knows she’s gonna break down. She takes three very quick deep breaths trying her hardest not to let herself fall apart. She looks over at Harry and begins to walk closer.

It feels somewhat bizarre in a sense when Jay wraps her arms around him. He has no clue who these people are and yet at the same time, he feels like he is already part of the family.

“ Louis wants to see you.“

Harry notices the way Jay’s gaze lingers on his features in a manner he hadn’t witnessed before. Without uttering a word, Jay turns to Oli, her lips pressing together as if maybe she had just been let in on a secret, that maybe Jay now umderstands that Harry is not just any Harry, he is ’ the ’ Harry.

Jay, who lets him go, softly takes his hands in hers.

“ It was nice to meet you today Harry, just wish it had been under better circumstances.“

Earlier today, as Harry and Oli ushered Louis to the hospital, the waiting room became an unexpected nexus of connection. Amidst the sterile surroundings, small talk became a refuge, a means of distraction from the underlying worry that clung to them all like a constant companion.

The waiting room, a liminal space caught between the sterile reality of the hospital and the emotional turmoil of those who occupied it, exuded an air of subdued tension. Harsh fluorescent lights shined overhead, casting a clinical glow on the mismatched chairs that lined the room in regimented rows. The walls, adorned with generic artwork and informational pamphlets, failed to soften the starkness of the environment.

The air hung heavy with a unique blend of antiseptic scents and the hushed whispers of loved ones. The low hum of the air conditioning provided a constant backdrop, a monotonous melody that underscored the waiting room’s inherent sense of transience.

In one corner, a vending machine stood like a sentinel, offering a limited array of snacks and beverages, a feeble attempt to alleviate the monotony. Its intermittent hum punctuated the otherwise muted soundscape, each dispensed item signaling a minor distraction in the collective vigil.

The clock on the wall ticked away the seconds with relentless precision, its rhythmic cadence a reminder of the temporal limbo that emitted around the room. Magazines, worn and outdated, lay spread across the coffee table, their pages turned absentmindedly by restless hands seeking diversion from the weight of the unknown.

Despite its clinical facade, the waiting room became a crucible for human connection. Strangers shared furtive glances, their eyes reflecting a shared understanding of the trials that brought them to this place.

Time seemed to stretch as they sat together. Oli and Harry, new friends navigating the nuances of rediscovery, found comfort in the shared space, their camaraderie forming an unspoken support system.

When Jay arrived, the dynamics shifted, and introductions were made in a haze of worry. The waiting room transformed into an intimate enclave where three lives converged in shared concern for Louis. In those hours, the boundaries between them blurred as they huddled together, each grappling with their thoughts about Louis in their own distinctive ways.

A mother who felt as though a piece of her heart and soul had been violently stripped away as she came to terms with her grandson’s disappearance and her son’s heartache.

A best friend who has been nothing but extraordinary and supportive his entire life, sat there feeling nothing but helpless.

A love interest sat broken and confused as he internally cursed and blamed the world for being so cruel to someone so undeserving.

“ Likewise, I’m really sorry for what you are all going through, I can’t imagine how hard it must be and I really want to take this opportunity to apoligze for just showing up here the way I did. You had no reason to trust me, and yet you welcomed me with open arms today, so thank you.“

Caught in the folds of Jay’s arms once more, Harry contemplates the frequency of these hugs becoming a new norm. Her embrace feels like a snug haven, a refuge from the unpredictable currents of life. It’s akin to rediscovering a favorite book - the familiarity of it all, the subtle creases in the pages that tell a story of repeated joy.

As Jay cuddles him, it’s not just a physical closeness but an emotional tethering-a reminder of the resilience of maternal bonds, making him automatically miss his own mother, reminding him once again to call her. He acknowledges the potency of Jay’s hugs, realizing that they are not just gestures of comfort but acts of nurturing kindness.

The instant Harry re-enters the room, Louis seizes the opportunity to seek answers. The sudden introduction of Saxon’s father into this already messy situation adds an extra layer of stress. Despite the tireless efforts in the past to locate Harry, one might expect Louis to welcome him with open arms. Unfortunately, the cruel irony lies in the fact that the timing couldn’t be more unfavorable.

With a subtle furrow on his brow, Louis glances at Harry. “Why are you really here? Why do you want to help me?” he inquires, carefully seeking a further explanation. He strives to maintain a neutral tone, avoiding any hint of deflation or overjoyed surprise. He knows he has already asked this but he simply doesn’t know what else to say. Regardless, he simply needs a proper answer.

Harry, caught off guard, begins to ramble nervously, his words stumbling over each other like a hesitant dance. “Well, you see, I, uh, saw you on TV, and I thought, you know, maybe I should, um, be here? Just to show support, I guess.”

If things were different right now, if the circumstances surrounding them were in a better light, Louis just might laugh at how nervous Harry had become.

“I mean if you want me to go I can, I dunno, I just really needed to see you, that’s all. “ His hands gesture vaguely as if trying to physically untangle his verbal stumbling.

Louis, observing the twisted effort in Harry’s response, maintains a steady gaze. “Harry, it’s genuinely nice to see you again.” he acknowledges, a small, appreciative smile gracing his lips.

“ It might not appear this way but I am happy you are here. You’re welcome to stay and all but, look, I don’t wanna sound rude by any means, but I just want to let you know that my main focus is finding my son right now, and nothing or …“ Louis pauses to discreetly clear his voice. “No-one is going to get in the way of that.”

Understanding it all, Harry nods earnestly and to be honest, he wasn’t expecting anything different. “I get it, Lou. I’m not here to complicate things, I promise. I just want to be here for you.” he asserts, a genuine sincerity breaking through the awkwardness of his initial rambling.

For what feels like the hundredth time today, a soft knock resonates through the room, and Detective Reign, accompanied by Garcia, makes their entrance.

“Apologies for the interruption, Louis. Do you have a moment?” Garcia inquires, and Louis responds with a polite smile, a silent affirmation conveyed without uttering a single word.

“ How are you feeling? You gave us all a little fright.“ Garcia expresses her genuine concern for Louis, her eyes reflecting the tumultuous events that have unfolded leading to this moment. “I’m alright.” Louis assures her with a subtle nod.

Detective Reign, after a brief exchange of pleasantries, finally notices Harry, who had discreetly positioned himself in the background. “I believe we’ve met before, Mr. Styles, was it?” he questions, raising an eyebrow in recognition.

Louis opens his eyes in disbelief as he recognizes what had happened. “Oh, no. It was you? I’m so sorry, Harry. I didn’t know your last name, and-” he rushes to apologize.

“Lou, it’s fine, really. Don’t worry about it.” Harry interjects, offering a reassuring smile.

There’s a brief silence before Reign directs his attention to Louis. “ We need to have a chat.“ He looks over to Harry then back to Louis. “ Privately.“ He finishes.

Harry, getting the memo understands that it’s time to go.

“I need to check into the hotel anyway. It was, um, nice seeing you again, Louis.” Harry says, a momentary pause freezing him in indecision. The options-shake hands, kiss on the cheek, or just turn around- all hover in the air. In a spontaneous decision, he discards all three, walking closer and letting his hand rest on Louis’ once again. “I’ll see you later, I promise.”

Their eyes lock, and Louis discovers an unexpected difficulty in tearing his gaze away. The detective’s subtle cough serves as a gentle nudge, coaxing Louis to break the gaze and respond. “Alright, and Harry, thank you for coming.” he says, the words slipping out almost involuntarily. The sensation of his stomach doing backflips catches him by suprise-an inappropriate response while his focus should be on his missing son. Yet, the unspoken acknowledgment shared in that fleeting eye contact lingers, a subtle undercurrent beneath the weight of more pressing concerns to soon follow.

As Louis watches Harry begin to leave the room, a maelstrom of emotions swirls within him, as he grapples with the complexity of his feelings. It’s challenging to articulate the myriad sensations coursing through him after encountering Harry once again, a person who holds a significant place in his life and yet who doesn’t even know it.

“ Harry! “

With his hand resting on the door, Louis offers an embarrassing and somewhat shy smile as Harry turns back around.

“Um, how can I contact you or-” Louis begins, his words trailing off.

In a swift motion, Harry retraces his steps, eyeing Louis’ phone sitting adjacent on the table. He gestures towards it, prompting Louis to hand it over adding his number.

“Oh my god, I was just about to give it to you before but I forgot. I can’t believe we nearly did that again.” Harry exclaims with a chuckle, a shared sense of amusement coloring the moment.

Louis finds himself grinning uncontrollably and deep down he hates himself for it. However, the light-hearted exchange between them creates an unexpected bubble of warmth, momentarily lifting the weight of his world that had come crashing down only 33 hours prior.

“ Call me, or text , whatever you’re comfortable with.“

And just like that, Harry leaves.

Watching Harry’s departure, Louis experiences a paradoxical blend of guilt and unfamiliar comfort. The last twenty minutes have been a whirlwind, yet there’s an undeniable sense of relief that permeates the air. It’s as if a missing piece has effortlessly slipped back into place, rekindling a connection that time and distance failed to erase. The promise of Harry’s return, echoed in his parting words, leaving Louis with a lingering satisfaction-a reassurance that, despite the complexities of everything that is happening, there might be a newfound sense of peace in the renewed presence of an old friend .

As the door closes, Reign and Garcia exchange a look that Louis cannot decipher. Without hesitation, Detective Reign begins to address the matter professionally.

“I apologize if this seems intrusive, and I don’t mean to pry, as I am simply performing my duties. However, given the ongoing police investigation, it is crucial for me to understand the nature of your relationship with Mr. Styles.”

Shit .

Biting his lip nervously, Louis realizes he overlooked the impending need to provide an explanation. The thought of recounting the story of how he and Harry met, intertwined with the conception of Saxon, makes him fidget, anticipating the inevitable embarrassment.

“I understand.” Louis begins, his admission carrying a weight of vulnerability. “Harry is… Harry is Saxon’s father.” As Reign and Garcia share a significant look, accompanied by the detective’s diligent note-taking, a sense of trepidation sets in.

“But Harry doesn’t know, so, can we keep it that way, please? I haven’t had the chance to tell him yet.” Louis adds, his request tinged with pleadency.

Louis has no idea that Reign has just detected a ’ Motive ’ because, what if Harry did know, what if Harry was angry for not knowing earlier? What if Harry wasn’t as innocent as he appeared?

Garcia, visibly puzzled, probes further. “I’m not gonna lie here, the two of you just now appeared to be strangers. I mean, you didn’t even have his number?”

Louis takes a deep breath, preparing to offer a concise explanation to clarify the apparent discrepancies in their interaction.

“ Okay, let me quickly explain.“

🚨

As Harry’s fingers stared at his phone screen, he can’t help but acknowledge the sporadic droplets of rain landing on his arms. Internally, he concedes that he misses the predictable weather of LA. In the mere span of the last ten minutes, while he waits for his Uber, the weather has made four attempts of a downfall, oscillating between the gentle embrace of the dawning sun and the looming presence of dark clouds, creating a dynamic switch of elements.

As Harry observes what seems like his ride approaching, he mutters a half-amused ’ fucking finally ’ to himself, his weariness evident. All he craves is a soothing shower and the embrace of sleep. Bending down to retrieve his suitcase, he synchronizes the motion with the Uber’s arrival at the curbside.

“Mr. Styles!”

Detective Reign’s unexpected voice startles him, and for some reason, Harry detects an unsettling nuance in the detective’s approaching expression. A tinge of timidity overcomes Harry’s inquiry as he asks. “Can I help you?”

Reign, now closer, wears a serious expression that doesn’t sit well with Harry. “Please, if you wouldn’t mind, follow me. You and I need to have a little chat.”

🚨🚨🚨

A/N

👀

Penny for your thoughts?

Chapter 7 - Go Home

A/N

Merry christmas / Happy Holidays everyone !!! 🎄🎄🎄

As promised, the new chapter is here before Christmas. Hope you enjoy. This takes off straight from last chapter.

Not sure if its a TW but im letting you know there is a church scene involved in this chapter with a Reverend and Prayers. Please skip over that if you are triggered.

🚨🚨🚨

Exiting the hospital after signing the required paperwork and bidding Detective Garcia goodbye, Louis heads towards the front foyer. Approaching the exit doors, he catches sight of Oli outside in the waiting area, drawing in a deep drag of his smoke. A shake of Louis’ head conveys his disbelief, the events of the day still rattling through his thoughts.

Louis mutters in disbelief. “I can’t believe that Harry’s here.”

Oli, sharing the sentiment, nods in agreement, equally taken aback by the unexpected surprise. Oli extinguishes his cigarette, expertly flicking it into the garden bed.

“Yeah, it definitely caught me off guard when I first saw him too. I wish you could have seen the way he panicked. I mean, we were all worried, but Harry, let’s just say he was adamant about accompanying you to the hospital.”

The unexpected revelation adds another layer of astonishment to Louis’ already surreal day, particularly the unfolding enigma of Harry’s presence. Louis scans his surroundings, searching for his mother because he is in desperate need to get out of there.

“She’s over there. I think she’s talking to Lottie, making sure everyone is okay.” Oli notes, his eyes tracking Jay’s movements.

At that precise moment, Jay lowers her phone back into her handbag, signalling her readiness to focus on the present as Oli persists.

“You are happy Harry is here, right?” The question lingers as they both observe Jay drawing near.

“Um, I mean… yeah?” Louis responds, the ambiguity in his answer revealing the intricate emotions beneath the surface.

The impending conversation between the two lads is abruptly halted as Jay extends her hand, running it up and down Louis’ upper arm in a comforting motion.

“Are you ready to go home?” she asks, her voice carrying a blend of gentleness and understanding.

However, instead of offering an immediate response to his mother, Louis shifts his focus back to Oli.

“Catch up later, yeah?” he proposes.

As Oli nods in agreement, Louis’ mother, with a watchful gaze, inserts herself back into the conversation. Her eyes flit between the two, a little concerned as she senses something beneath the surface, heightening the intrigue, presumably surrounding Harry’s unexpected return.

“Go and get some well-deserved rest Oli, please. Thank you for being such a great friend to my boy.“

Jay words are infused with a hint of weariness. She leans over, planting a kiss on Oli’s cheek, a gesture that conveys both gratitude and a sense of maternal warmth towards a lad she also sees as her own.

“ Oi, none of that, you know Louis is like a brother to me. So, with that being said, Louis…” Oli continues as he extends his arms out for a ‘manly’ hug. “ You call me if you need anything. You hear me? Anything Louis, I mean it.”

Throughout the years, Louis has often found himself thanking the stars above for the gift of such a steadfast friend. Yet, in this moment and just like not long ago, as he stands outside the hospital alongside his mother, he gazes at Oli once again with a renewed appreciation. A silent promise forms within Louis – a vow to find a way to repay Oli for being the kind of friend he has always needed. Oli’s love, understanding, honesty, and never ending  loyalty has been nothing but constant in Louis’ life, and as he contemplates the depth of their friendship, he senses a debt of gratitude that transcends mere words.

“I will.”

Oli, satisfied with that answer, zips up his jacket in order to leave.

“ Okay then, I’m gonna walk home, it’s literally only five minutes away.”

As Oli departs, the lines of worry on Jay’s face deepen as she looks at her son. Louis, his eyes reflecting a profound sadness, turns to her as the surreal nature of the situation hangs in the air as Louis expresses his panic.

A mother’s love for her child is an unparalleled force, unlike anything else in the world. It obeys no laws, shows no mercy. It fearlessly confronts all obstacles and unrelentingly crushes anything that dares to stand in its path. This boundless, fierce affection defies conventional limits, embodying a strength that is both unyielding and relentless. It’s how Jay automatically knows there is something terribly wrong.

“Louis?” Jay’s whisper carries a tender concern, a subtle tremor betraying her worry.

Jay waits, her eyes carrying a desperate plea for Louis to respond, acutely aware of the familiar look he’s giving her. It’s a gaze deeply etched in history, one he wore as a child when thunder roared outside, and the very same expression that haunted his eyes during restless nights filled with nightmares. The resonance of those past fears echoes in the present, and Jay, attuned to her son’s unspoken language, now realises what is wrong. 

Louis….is extremely scared. 

“Can I come home with you? Please, Mum, don’t make me go back to my place, I can’t be there. It’s too hard, don’t make me go there.” he implores softly, the vulnerability in his plea evident in the way he clings to the hope of finding solace in the familiar embrace of being at his former home.

No matter how old you get, how independent you become, sometimes you still just need a hug from mum to make everything feel better.

“ Oh Louis, of course sweetheart, yes, let’s get you back home.” 

🚨

The enchanting aspect of growing up in a household filled with love and warmth is that, as you embark on the journey of leaving to “grow up” it feels liberating. Yet, what no one manages to inform you, is the euphoria that accompanies the return of going home—that it feels even better. The familiar embrace of a nurturing environment becomes a source of comfort, a haven that holds the echoes of cherished memories and the promise of love and support.

As Louis lies motionless on the lounge, the symphony of commotion from the other room becomes the soundtrack to his stillness. Lottie’s enthusiastic chatter about a new boyfriend reaches his ears, blending with the lively argument between the twins over some clothes. The clock nears 11 pm and even though he still manages to wonder why they are not in bed yet, and despite the headache that lingers, a faint curl graces the edge of his lip. In this chaotic atmosphere, he can’t help but contrast it with nights just a few days ago when he’d be nestled in his own bed, likely snuggled up with his little boy, who would undoubtedly be in a deep, peaceful slumber by this hour.

That thought alone threatens to bring more  tears to his eyes. His mind races with daunting questions—Is Saxon asleep at this very moment? Is he hungry, warm, and being cared for? The unsettling reality of not knowing who has his baby weighs heavily on him as he casps a hand across his mouth. He takes a deep breath and fervently hopes that someone out there is providing the care and comfort Saxon truly deserves. His thoughts spiral in chaotic loops—Why would someone take him? Was it a random act? Who would want to take away his boy?

To snap himself out of it, Louis sits up and  reaches over to his phone, and for the first time tonight, he opens up Harry’s number. His finger lingers over the call button, but the 11:11 pm timestamp serves as a rational barrier. Even if it weren’t for the late hour, his own nerves cast a shadow over the decision, adding another layer of hesitation to make contact.

Louis brushes away a tear, rising from his seat to stretch. Craving a breath of fresh air, he meanders towards the kitchen attuned to the sudden stillness that has settled over the house, it’s where his mother stands alone, gazing into the obscurity of the backyard, lost in concentration.

“ Has everyone gone to bed?”

Louis moves with a feather-light tread, gradually closing the distance. As he nears, and with a subtle finesse, his hand glides, almost ethereally, to find its place, tenderly settling on the delicate curve of her shoulder blade. The brief, unexpected touch captures her attention, startling her as she jumps slightly.  

“ Mum?”

As Jay turns to face him, a pang of guilt surges through him at the sight of her tear-stained face, the quivering of her lower lip tugging at his heartstrings. Instinctively, he pulls her into a comforting embrace. In the dim light, something catches his eye just outside the window.

There, even in the shadows, stands Saxon’s trainer-wheel bike that he plays with every time she has had him over.

The weight of the responsibility he feels for losing Saxon inflicts a pain Louis deems bearable, a self-imposed penance. Yet, witnessing his mother in tears adds an unbearable layer to his agony. The sight of her emotional anguish is a dagger to his heart, a depth of pain he hadn’t anticipated, and the helplessness in the face of her grief becomes an overwhelming burden on his soul.

“ I’m sorry mum.”

His own pain mixes with the vivid memories of the precise moment when he realised Saxon was gone. He remembers how physically sick he felt, how much he now wishes he himself wasn’t here in this lifetime anymore. It all becomes overpowering, because if he wasn’t alive, at least then he wouldn’t be able to feel all this pain.

Without Saxon beside him, the void within Louis expands, and dwelling in this emptiness becomes an unwelcome and dangerous space for him to occupy.

There are so many more things Louis wishes he could voice to her, all the countless emotions that remain hidden within him, especially the guilt and agony.

Unfortunately, Louis keeps finding himself consumed by an insidious wish - a fervent desire to vanish from existence, to be whisked away from this painful realm. If only fate could have chosen him instead, sparing Saxon from this terrible fate, for ceasing to exist and escaping the pain seems like the only solution left for him.

“ Louis….”

With a frustrated gesture, Louis runs his hand through his hair, exhaling a heavy sigh as he turns his gaze back to his mother. The sense of failure weighs on him, not just for losing Saxon, but for breaking the vow he made to her years ago. His mind cruelly revisits the moment he disclosed his pregnancy. Amidst the concerns of not only being young but also  the challenges of single parenthood, Louis passionately pledged to his mother that he was ready — ready to step into the role, to provide, to love, to cherish, and, above all, to “protect “ his child. The bitter irony of that pledge now lingers, intensifying the profound sadness that he feels will never leave him.

“ I’m sorry. I failed him mum and I failed you aswell, I fucked up, I…”

Louis abruptly left his mother behind, heading for the front door, ignoring her worried cries.

“Louis, stop, come back, please.”

But he pressed forward, desperate for air. The night embraced him as he stepped outside, the cool breeze providing a momentary respite.

Under the soft glow of the streetlights, Louis walked at a steady pace, wiping his eyes for what felt like every ten seconds. The night air was surprisingly pleasant for this late hour and it wasn’t until another thirty minutes had passed before he found himself stopping, and as he looked up, realisation struck — he was at the playground, the very place where it had all begun.

A whirlwind of memories struck him, causing his world to spin. His hands trembled as he reached for his phone, fingers hovering over Oli’s number. However, a sudden surge of intrigue redirected his attention, and he scrolled down further, Harry’s name now coming into view on the screen. Louis hesitated, almost pressing the button, but the weight of guilt again held him back.

He pocketed his phone and began to run. Through unfamiliar streets, he pushed himself until his breath grew ragged. Stopping to catch a break, and with his hands resting on his knees, Louis surveyed the unfamiliar surroundings. Something caught his eye — a dimly lit storefront in the distance, a place he didn’t recognize. Intrigued, he decided to explore, leaving the playground and its haunting memories behind.

In the quietude of Doncaster’s midnight streets, Louis, still covered in a shroud of sadness, wanders aimlessly. The moonlight casts sporadic shadows across the cobblestone paths, and he is thankful for the gentle breeze cooling down his face. As he traverses the narrow lanes, the unexpected sight just up ahead comes into proper view—a church.

The church door is slightly ajar, emanating a soft radiance from within. Intrigued as he looks around making sure he isn’t seen, Louis approaches the entrance, peering into the dimly lit sanctuary. The serene atmosphere manages to somehow draw Louis inside. The ambient glow of numerous candles reveals the church’s interior, and he can’t for the life of him get over how inviting it all feels.

Entering the church, the creak of the door fades into the hushed reverence of the atmosphere, the flickering candles creating an elaborate interplay of light and darkness.

The air suddenly feels less suffocating, less heavy, a tranquil ambiance type feeling, something he doesn’t think he has ever felt before. The church is empty as he looks around once again for the sight of someone, of anyone, but he is certain there is no one there, he is all alone. But that’s alright, he thinks to himself, because it’s offering him a small sense of peace in its silence.

As he steps further inside, the ambient scent of candle wax mingles with the faint mustiness of old wood, and smells nothing like he would have ever imagined. The air is hushed, and the only sounds are the subtle creaks beneath his feet and the soft breeze of his own breath. Stained glass windows, adorned with vibrant hues depicting biblical scenes, create kaleidoscopic patterns on the floor.

Walking slowly as he continues to observe his surroundings, he quietly chooses a pew near the centre and timidly sits down, now fully surrounded by the ethereal glimmer of candlelight. His fingers trace the smooth surface of his hands as he contemplates the unfamiliar ritual he is about to undertake. The rhythmic wave of light the candles cast, reflects a contemplative mood. Louis clasps his hands together, fingers intertwining as he bows his head in silent reflection.

Uncertain of what he’s doing and despite his lack of religious inclination, a quiet desperation compels him to try something he has never properly done before.

He begins to try and pray.

He offers a prayer into the stillness of the sacred space, and in this moment of vulnerability, and whether yes, it be by the grace of god himself, he seems to find a strange comfort in the act of reaching out to something beyond himself, even if he doesn’t fully understand what that something might be.

Allowing his thoughts to drift, his gaze rose upwards to the imposing statue affixed to the stone wall. The sculpture, bathed in the soft glow of the ambient light, portrayed Jesus with outstretched arms, an embodiment of faith, compassion, hope and forgiveness. Each delicate detail, from the flowing robe to the serene expression, seemed to radiate a sense of divine calmness. In a moment of introspection, Louis drew in a deep breath, fixating his gaze on the age-old statue that stood like a sentinel for centuries that has witnessed the quiet prayers and musings of countless souls in the past. The stillness of the church embraced him, and he couldn’t help but wonder if the stone figure, weathered by time, could truly listen to the pleas and whispers of his own heart.

Louis’ voice trembled with emotion as he began to pour out his feelings, things he had wanted to voice but had held inside.

“I don’t even know how to do this, or what to even say, but I hope you’re listening anyway.” His shoulders slumped as tears welled up, his voice cracking.

“Is he safe? Please, tell me he’s somewhere being looked after and not hurt.”

Louis’ voice wavered with a mix of desperation and sorrow. A moment of silence hung in the air, his emotions swirling.

“You gave him to me, and then two years later, you ripped him away from me. How could you do that?”

He almost gives up altogether, because his words were not a prayer; they were spoken with the intent of raw confrontation. This was Louis addressing the one person who he thinks has answers but refuses to give them to him ‘Lord Almighty’ in the very flesh.

The church seemed to absorb his anguished plea, the echoes of his questions lingering, and it already had Louis wondering whether this was all a complete waste of time.

“What did I ever do to deserve all this pain? I’ve always loved and looked after my entire family, I’ve always stayed on the right side of the law, I volunteer at places when I have the time, for god’s sake! What did I do wrong, TELL ME!”

Taking the lord’s name in vain probably wasn’t the best idea as he sat in a church, but it’s on Louis’ mind as he took a shaky breath, his hands clasped tightly together.

“Jesus, please, just make sure my little boy is safe, that’s all I ask. Don’t worry about me, just look after my Saxon. I beg you please!”

Louis released a heavy sigh, his breaths coming in rapid succession, each exhale bearing the weight of a father’s grief that he knew was never going to leave him.

“ Or better still, just give him back to me.” He whispered.

A tear trickled down his cheek, as he struggled to keep his composure.

“I miss him so much, and I love him more than words can ever express.” His voice broke, the weight of grief making it harder to speak. “Why did you let this happen? What’s the fucking reason behind taking him away from me huh?”

He didn’t mean to swear, and he most certainly didn’t plan on yelling that last part, but the anguish in his words echoed through the silent church, carrying the desperate plea for answers amidst the quiet sobs that escaped from Louis’ heartache.

The soft creak of the door rang loud, and Louis, deep in his thoughts, jolted at the unexpected sound of footsteps. His heart raced, his muscles tensing as he instinctively turned to face the source, his eyes widening as he began to panic not knowing whether he was allowed to be where he was. Through the partially opened door, the ageing yet distinguished figure of a Reverend emerged. A soft, friendly smile graced the man’s clean-cut features, his eyes carrying a warmth that immediately put Louis at ease.

As Louis began to rise from the pew, a reflex to show respect, the man extended a warm smile and gestured for him to remain seated.

As he approached closer, the gentle lines on his face mirrored the kindness in his eyes. Recognition dawned on the man’s features, and there was a subtle nod, acknowledging the familiarity with Louis, becoming evident that he had seen Louis before, most likely from his appearances on television.

“ I am truly sorry, the door was open and -”

“No need for apologies, my child.” the Reverend interjected, his voice projecting like a comforting resonance. “This church is a haven for all, open to anyone seeking guidance or a moment of reflection. There’s never a need to apologise for finding sanctuary here.”

As he spoke, the gentleman continued his cautious approach, his demeanour radiating kindness and no judgement.

“I was merely coming back to ensure the church is securely locked. It’s a habit of mine leaving it open this late, and I hadn’t realised anyone was in here. But please, feel free to stay as long as you need, and know that you are always welcome here.”

The Reverend looked and spoke like some sort of seasoned grace. His silver hair, neatly combed, framed a face etched with wisdom and compassion. His eyes, a soft shade of brown, held a depth that hinted at the countless confessions and stories he might have heard over the years.

As he extended his hand towards Louis, his grip was firm yet comforting, and a warm smile adorned his lips. “My name is Reverend Paul.”

Louis offered a hand in return and he knows Paul is taking notice of his teary face.

“ I’m Louis, and thank you, that is very kind of you.”

Paul, who had been in this position many times over his career, could sense that Louis wasn’t ready to have a talk…

or was he?

“If there’s something on your mind or if you seek conversation, or perhaps a shared prayer, know that I’m here for you. I will be right outside. “ Paul’s offer was so sincere, his eyes reflecting genuine concern, before starting to turn away.

“Wait. Please.” Louis quietly asked, the words rushing out faster than his thoughts as he stood. “ Please stay.”

The wooden pews squeaked softly as Louis sat back down, his eyes fixated on the serene expression of the statue of Jesus on the wall. The quiet atmosphere enveloped them, and for a moment, Reverend Paul thought that perhaps Louis sought only the solace of another presence.

Breaking the silence, Louis began to speak, his voice carrying the weight of memories. “I haven’t been in a church since I was a kid attending Sunday school.” he admitted, his gaze still locked on the figure on the wall.

Paul listened intently, nodding as he watched the way Louis seemed to drift off into deep thought.

“ I dunno what I’m doing here, I guess… I don’t really know actually.” Louis took a deep breath before continuing, “I just… I don’t know where my son is. You are supposed to understand the great man above correct? Why was my baby taken from me? If God loves us all unconditionally, why does he allow us to endure so much pain? And what about my son, what did he ever do to deserve all this?”

A profound silence settled between them, broken only by the flickering light of candles. Reverend Paul sighed, his voice gentle yet firm.

“Louis, among the complexities of life, we find ourselves facing trials that defy easy explanation. The reasons behind our pain often remain a mystery, with only the Lord holding the answers. It’s a challenge that slips through our understanding, but in these moments, our faith becomes an anchor and what we must steadfastly do is keep strong in our faith. God, fueled by boundless love, unfolds a purposeful plan for each and every one of us. I want you to know that our congregation and I have been praying for your little boy. I hope you feel the strength of our prayers, and I really hope your precious little boy comes home soon.”

Louis felt a lump forming in his throat, nearly choking back tears. He looked around the room, his eyes wanting to remain anywhere but on the Reverend. Then, he met Paul’s gaze again, his eyes searching.

“Does God hate me?” he asked, the question hanging heavy in the sacred space.

“Fear not, Louis, for God’s love transcends our understanding and confusion, and he does not harbour hatred for his children. In the intricate weave of divine providence, trials may befall us, yet it is not a sign of his disdain. Rather, it is an invitation for us to seek his solace, patience, and strength. Your son’s absence is part of a broader tapestry, and God, in his infinite wisdom, has a purpose that extends beyond our comprehension.”

It should make sense to him but Louis is still none the wiser. Now that Paul is speaking freely, the conversation turns more ‘easy’ and for a second, Louis forgets that Paul is a reverend and not a ‘friend’.

“ I feel like I’ve let everyone down, Saxon, my mum, my friends and family.” Louis swallows hard as the Reverend watches with intent.

“ And yourself?” Paul asks, making Louis lower his head in shame.

“ Yes, more than anyone I think.”

Louis avoids eye contact with the reverend, choosing instead to focus on the pulpit in front of him. His voice trembles slightly as he begins to express the thoughts that have burdened his mind.

“ With my son still missing, I’m worried it’s going to drive me insane.  Adding to extra stress, the other father doesn’t know the boy is his and he has now just returned into my life, i want to tell him, but im scared and -” Louis stops mid sentence because he hadn’t given it no thought that he was now sitting in a church sobbing to a reverend about his “gay” fling. “ Oh I am truly sorry, I should not be speaking of this here, my mind is all over the -”

Paul reaches over and pats his knee gently, shaking his head to stop.

“Listen, religion has begun to evolve in certain parts of the world. Many churches now publicly show support for everyone. Right here, in this church, trust my words—it doesn’t matter if you are of colour, gay, straight, transgender, young, old, millennial, atheist, Muslim, Christian, Jewish, rich, poor, male, female, non-binary, homeless, or addicted. The list can go on and on, young man, and those are only small examples. My point is that the house of our Lord is open to everyone, including you.”

To say Louis was relieved to hear that would be an understatement, as he was already contemplating getting up to leave.

“May I suggest we turn to prayer, beseeching the Lord for guidance and comfort in this challenging chapter of your life?”

As Louis blinks, tears finally spill, the Reverend lowers his head, creating a sacred aurora around them. His eyes close, and his hands extend, palms upwards and open, as if beckoning the divine presence. The weight of the moment is palpable, each word he utters resonating like a spiritual incantation. In the silence, you can feel the power of prayer, a connection to the divine that transcends the earthly realm.

Louis, his gaze fixed on the Reverend, observes the ritual with a mixture of awe and desperation. It’s as though the atmosphere wraps him into a tight hug and as the Reverend’s words weave through the air, Louis senses a profound connection, a lifeline to something greater than himself.

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Louis finds himself mirroring the Reverend’s posture. His own hands, initially clenched in anguish, begin to open, mirroring the gesture of surrender. The vulnerability of the moment unfolds, with both man and supplicant sharing in a silent communion of hope and faith. It becomes a poignant exchange, a bridge between human anguish and the spirit mercy that hovers, unseen but deeply felt.

“ Lord, our heavenly father, we come before you tonight with heavy hearts, lifting up Louis in our prayers. In this time of uncertainty and searching, we ask for your guiding light to shine upon him. Grant him the strength to endure this trial, the hope to sustain him, and the faith that even in the darkest moments, you will never leave his side. We pray for the safe return of his precious son, and that wherever he may be, he is being taken care of. Protect him lord, and keep him from any harm, and may your comforting presence surround Louis, embracing him with the assurance that you are with him in every step of this journey. In your mercy, O Lord, bring solace to his heart and reunite him with the love that is missing from his life. We trust in your wisdom, O Lord, knowing that everything happens for a reason according to your divine plan. Grant Louis the courage to navigate these challenges with honesty and openness. May he find solace in the knowledge that being truthful with others is a reflection of your teachings. We ask that you please guide him on this path you have given him, Lord, and let it lead him to the answers he seeks. In your mercy, instil in him the strength to face the uncertainties and the conviction that your plan unfolds in mysterious and purposeful ways. In Jesus name,

Amen .”

When we pray, God hears more than we say, he answers more than we ask, and gives more than we can imagine. The catch? It’s in his own time and own way. Louis…just needs to be patient.

The reverend rises, making a trinity signal with his hand across his forehead, chest, and shoulders, his stance pointed towards the statue. He intends to leave Louis in peace, allowing him some much-needed self-reflection. Nodding slightly with a warm smile, he turns to depart, but he doesn’t make it far.

“And Louis, I will leave you with this final thought. The pain you feel today, will be the strength you feel tomorrow. Don’t lose faith, do not give up hope. You will see your son again, I’m sure of it.”

As important as it is to have a plan for your life, it is, perhaps, even more important to have a plan for relaxation, sleep and self-care. Your ability to generate power is directly proportional to your ability to relax, and now, as Louis sits alone in this place that he is unaccustomed to, he feels more rejuvenated than he has in days.

Louis rises, approaching the flickering candles on the tables. His movements are deliberate, and with a deep breath, he leans over, extinguishing a flame.

“Protect my baby, please. That’s all I ask.” he whispers to the darkness around him.

Louis steps outside, the cool night air embracing him as he exits the church. The glow of the streetlights casts a soft illumination on the cobblestone path beneath his feet. Looking around for Reverend Paul, who is nowhere in sight, the surroundings are dead empty, as he listens to the distant occasional sound of a car off in the distance.

With the church door closing behind him, Louis finds himself standing on the worn steps. The phone in his pocket vibrates, and when he retrieves it, the screen reveals an incoming call.

It’s his mother.

Louis watches the phone ring, his finger hovering over the answer button. A war wages within him, a battle between wishing to let her know he was okay, and the guilt that still hasn’t left him. He casually lets the call go to voicemail, a fleeting victory for his apprehension.

‘I’ll ring her back in a minute.’ he vows silently, determined to face that conversation later. Now, fueled by a surge of courage, he shifts his focus. With a deep breath, he decides to take Reverend Paul’s words to heart and reach out to Harry. Fingers poised over the keys as he begins crafting a message.

I’m sorry. I know it’s really late and all, and that you are probably sleeping, but are you free to catch up again? There is something I wish to discuss with you…. Oh and um, it’s Louis by the way.

He stares at the phone knowing he should call his mother. But before he even has a chance to press diall, his phone begins  vibrating. In a state of surprise, he glances down and discovers Harry’s name.

‘ What the hell? Great, he’s a caller not a texter type.’ he mutters to himself, caught off guard by the immediate response. His heart is racing as he wasn’t expecting a reply until the morning. With a muttered curse, he nearly overlooks the call.

“Hello.” he answers nervously, more than likely wishing now that he had not stepped foot in that church, because already he has no idea what he is going to say next. Maybe he should start by asking why the hell he wasn’t asleep.

“ Lou, you alright ?”

It’s only one word. I little abbreviation of his name, how can it make Louis feel so safe.

“ I’m fine. I… am really sorry , I know it’s late and all. I hope I didn’t wake you. I wasn’t expecting you to answer until morning.”

“ No, it’s all good. I was awake. I promise. Having trouble sleeping. Still not used to the time difference.”

Time difference? There are so many things he wishes to ask, lots of information he wants to know about Harry, but that’s going to have to wait.

“ Lou ?”

Louis is so overwhelmed as the Reverends words play over and over in his mind.

“ Sorry, I was just ringing to um, to see if you were free. I …I need to see you, please.”

What Louis wasn’t expecting was for Harry to act straight away. Louis had meant in the morning, but Louis could feel deep within, the type of caring person Harry was.

“ Where are you? I will come to you.”

Louis surveys the narrow alleyway he is striding down, contemplating this unusual scenario. Harry likely anticipates him snug in bed at home, especially after the hospital ordeal. Like everyone else, Harry is probably oblivious to his stress level. No-one understands how Louis’ mind is not shutting off, how can it? What does he tell him? His longing for Harry’s presence is undeniable; Harry’s voice, akin to a fleeting band-aid, offers a soothing respite in a way that Harry will never truly understand. Bringing Harry to his mother’s house is out of the question, and public appearances even this late at night could inadvertently expose Harry to unnecessary media exposure and to be frank, he doesn’t want reporters diving into Harry in case they find out who he really is. Reluctantly, Louis rules out his own home as an option, haunted by the complexities it holds. Left with a singular choice, he grapples with the impending strangeness of the situation.

“ Um, would it be weird if I came to you instead? It’s not like I don’t trust you at my house or anything like that, I just-”

“ Im at the Hilton Garden Inn.” Harry interjects.

Certainly not your run-of-the-mill pub hotel in Doncaster, Louis muses. It exudes a certain poshness and sophistication that he’s familiar with, situated near the racecourse and often reserved for grand events. A furrow creases his brow as he calculates the time it will take to reach the venue.

“Got it. I know the place. It’s not too far from my current location. I should be there in about 15 minutes on foot. I’ll shoot you a text when I arrive.”

“ By foot? Where are you, Lou, it’s cold outside.”

“ Long story. See you soon.”

Louis doesn’t wait for a response; he ends the call and alters his route, quickening his pace. The mention of temperature by Harry, amplifies Louis’ discomfort, and he regrets the new awareness. Shivers course through him, aggravated by the capricious weather in this town. What was once a cool evening tonight had soon transformed into an environment reminiscent of the depths of winter.

🚨

The hotel stands grand and resplendent in a creamy hue, with an expansive garden adorning the front, enveloping the car park in its beauty. The fragrance in the air is exquisite, a delightful blend of scents that waft through the surroundings. Despite the aesthetic charm, the building’s structure bears an uncanny resemblance to a hospital in Louis’ eyes.

Remaining a bit reserved from the entrance, Louis is careful not to give off any weird vibes of a creep lingering in the night. He reaches for his phone, but he  slips the device back into his pocket because inside the foyer, Harry is already visible, standing patiently, a coat elegantly draped over his forearm.

As Louis strides towards the entrance, Harry effortlessly swings the door wide, offering Louis the refuge of his jacket.

“Brr. It’s so cold. Here, please put this on.”

Embracing the warmth offered, Louis readily accepts the jacket, appreciative of the gesture. As he steps inside, his eyes wander, taking in the opulence of the interior. The space is adorned with an abundance of marbles and mirrors, creating a stunning visual spectacle that captivates his attention.

“Thank you. This place is quite lovely.”

“Yeah, it was all I could snag last minute. Please, follow me.” A warm smile accompanies Harry’s gesture, his hand gently resting on Louis’ lower back as they stride towards the elevator.

Inside the confines of the elevator, a subtle silence falls between them, and their eyes lock. Harry’s attire is casual – black track pants paired with a light blue jumper. He breaks the quiet with a friendly greeting. “So….Hi. “ Louis scans him appreciatively. Harry wishes this was under better circumstances because Louis looks tired and exhausted but still more beautiful than ever.

“Thanks for letting me crash your night. I know it’s late, and I genuinely apologise.”

“Please don’t. There’s no need. I’m glad you finally called.” The elevator’s chime interrupts them, and they step out directly into Harry’s room.

Harry gestures towards a comfortable-looking chair. “Make yourself at home. Can I get you anything to drink?”

Louis nods appreciatively and takes a seat. “A cup of tea would be nice, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“No trouble at all.” Harry replies, heading to a small kitchenette area. While he prepares the tea, Louis takes in the room’s decor. The soft lighting and plush furnishings create a cosy ambiance but before he knows it, Harry returns with the tea, and Louis takes to it instantly, sipping away as Harry ponders what to say or do next.

“How are you feeling?” Harry’s words hang in the air, an unintentional weight on the room. Louis tenses up, the question hitting a sensitive nerve. Louis’ phone vibrates again, his mother persistently calling for the tenth time in the last two minutes. Frustrated, he flicks it onto silent, determined to clear his head.

“Harry, there is something you need to know.”

This is it. This is what Harry has been waiting for. Is Louis finally going to tell him?

Anticipation can be the sweetest form of joy, but it is also the art of patiently waiting for something that may or may not arrive. In Harry’s case, tonight is unfortunately not the night. The revelation remains suspended, leaving an unspoken weight between them.

Louis begins to hyperventilate, a subtle tremor coursing through him as tears swell in his eyes. The truth is almost unbearable to voice.

He just can’t do it.

The warmth of Harry’s smile and the kindness in his eyes only intensify Louis’ internal struggle. Harry seems so sweet and genuinely welcoming, just like he remembered him. How can Louis burden him with the truth about Saxon? What would it bring – honesty, yes, but at what cost? Harry’s happiness, potential resentment towards Louis for losing their child? Overwhelmed by the internal turmoil, Louis opts for a deflection.

“Where do you live, Harry? What do you do in your spare time? Tell me about your family.” Louis desperately seeks a deterrent, a way to steer the conversation away from the tumultuous depths of his own emotions. “Honestly, I just want to get to know you better, so if you do not mind, please, tell me more about yourself.”

It’s late, and Harry is tired. Most of the evening was consumed by phone calls with Liam, addressing work matters that demanded attention. However, the desperation in Louis’ eyes is undeniable, making it impossible for Harry to refuse him.

For the next two hours, the two sit side by side, delving into a myriad of topics. Their conversation covers everything from past experiences to present aspirations. They speak about the weather, and their favourite all time movies, they share their own family history and places they have travelled.

They talk about everything under the sun, with the exception of the elephant in the room….Saxon.

Harry has been watching Louis yawn for the past twenty minutes.

Harry can’t believe this is all happening – Louis, once again, right in front of him. Even though he doesn’t want to ask, the words escape him anyway.

“Do you want to talk about him?”

Harry poses the question with a gentle tone as Louis glances at him, watching Harry settling back down beside him.

“Your son. I can’t imagine how you feel, but if you want to talk about it, I’m right here.”

Harry can sense the pain behind Louis’ stoic expression. Louis keeps a straight face, yet the hurt is evident to Harry. So he tries a different path.

“Lou please, I can see you are exhausted and tired. It’s okay to lay down on the bed and rest, I’m happy to sleep in the chair.” 

Louis doesn’t know if it’s the fact that he has finally died properly inside that justifies his lack of thinking, or whether Harry has some sort of super power he hasn’t mentioned yet, because Louis without no debating or arguing agrees, and begins removing his jumper and shoes, surprising himself by sliding under the covers.

Harry watches from afar for a good few minutes and as if his own prayers were answered, Louis whispers “Harry.” There’s no question in the words, but by some unspoken understanding, Harry knows exactly what Louis needs.

Standing up, Harry flicks off the lamp and removes his accessories before laying down beside him. It’s quiet, very, very quiet. Harry doesn’t want to mess this up. Louis is in a challenging position, fragile and delicate. Taking a bold chance, Harry reaches out his arm to fall around Louis’ waist. It’s a risky move, but fortunately, Louis doesn’t mind.

They lay there, each of them listening to each other breathing. Harry is almost ready to ask him once again if he was alright when he hears Louis’ soft voice.

“ I miss him, Harry. I just want to cuddle him, tell him how much daddy loves him. I don’t know if he is ok, happy, or hurt. He doesn’t have his asthma inhaler and it’s so cold tonight. God Harry, I just want him back in my arms.”

Harry’s breath was on the brink of gasping. He too, had asthma but that wasn’t what was important right now, the way Louis’ body began to shake as he broke down crying sent a sharp pain through Harry’s body like he has never experienced before. He didn’t care if he was overstepping, his hand reached out and ran through the side of Louis’ hair.

“ Lou, listen. Oh god Louis, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s okay, let it out.”

You should never be afraid nor ashamed to weep. It’s one’s own right to grieve. Tears are just water, are they not? If he could, Louis would explain to you how his tears do not feel like water at all. Each tear represents something different, like drops of agony, drops of melancholy, drops of sadness and anger. They all appear to stream like a river, flooding Louis’ vision. All Harry wants to do is dry the source before Louis drowns his soul.

In the shadowed refuge of the room, where sorrow clung around Louis like a heavy mist, Harry tightly cuddled Louis from behind, their bodies seeking solace within the cocoon of the bed.

Louis trembled with silent sobs, the echoes of his pain swallowed by the stillness of the night. With a tender gesture, Harry sat up again, his fingertips delicately navigating through the strands of Louis’ tousled hair, a gentle attempt to unravel the knots of despair that entwined his spirit. The touch carried a silent pledge to ease the burdens that weighed on his heart.

Harry’s hand traced soothing circles along Louis’ back, mapping the contours of grief etched into his very being.

With a soft exhale and In a moment of poignant connection, he leaned down, placing a barely perceptible kiss on the back of Louis’ head, a fragile offering of comfort in the midst of overwhelming pain.

Soft words of reassurance slipped from Harry’s lips, each syllable a whispered promise.

“This isn’t your fault. You’re going to be okay. I won’t let you face this alone anymore. Do you hear me? We’ll find him. Together, we’ll find him.” Each phrase carried the resolve to stand resilient against the tempest of uncertainty.

Their breaths became a shared rhythm, a commitment now formed in order to weather this horrible storm side by side. The room transformed into a sanctuary where pain found acknowledgment, and the delicate strands of hope were interwoven in the quietude of the night.

Wrapped in arms that he trusted, and after sobbing uncontrollably, Louis finally succumbed to all the tiredness.

Louis, falls into a deep sleep.

Tonight, a few different things have taken shape. One for the good, and two for the worse.

The first, is that Louis had no idea that the church he had entered tonight where his prayers were made, had just granted him one small step forward.

Harry’s comfort.

When you lie down you will not be afraid. Your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3.24

The second, well…Lets just say that Louis should not have left his phone on silent.

And the third? That is still to come.

🚨

Louis was gently stirred from his slumber by the rhythmic clattering of dishes. His eyes fluttered open to find Harry bustling about, a steaming cup of tea and a plate with a slice of toast in hand. Instinctively, Louis reached for the offered cup, taking a sip to help shake off the remnants of sleep. However, as he stood up and headed to the toilet, the abrupt awakening seemed to rouse more than just his senses.

Returning from the bathroom, Louis, with a hint of urgency in his voice, questioned Harry about the time. In response, Harry, sensing a touch of concern, informed him. “It’s like 10:50 am. You slept really well, Lou, it was great to—”

“10:50!” Panic surged through Louis as he hurriedly began collecting his belongings, leaving Harry bewildered. “I’m sorry, should I have woken you? You looked exhausted, and—”

Louis paid little attention to Harry’s words, his gaze fixated on the television screen where Saxon’s face suddenly appeared. “Turn it up quickly, please.” he requested, and Harry complied just in time for the reporter to address the viewers.

The room was now charged with an unexpected tension, the news on the screen capturing Louis’ full attention as he awaited information that would shift the course of his day.

** TV Anchor: **

“ Good morning, viewers. This is Stephanie Bateman reporting to you live from Doncaster Police station with a special update on the ongoing search for Saxon Tomlinson, the young boy who went missing on the 28th of September. Today, authorities have received new information that could potentially shed light on the case.

This morning, the police were provided with fresh CCTV footage capturing the moment young Saxon entered a vehicle. The vehicle in question is described as a black Range Rover. Unfortunately, the license plate is currently obscured, but law enforcement urges everyone to remain vigilant and report any further sightings.

These developments follow interviews with members of the community, where opinions on the child’s father, Mr. Tomlinson, were shared. Those who were close to Louis and individuals present at the time of Saxon’s disappearance are now questioning whether he is fit to be a

parent .“

The screen shifts to unveil a familiar face that sends shivers down Louis’ spine. It’s none other than his insufferable neighbour, old man George. The mere sound of the old codger’s voice threatens to unleash a torrent of frustration from Louis.

“ That man stood in the driveway yelling at that poor boy on the day he disappeared. The kid is always crying or was, crying should I say.. Some people are just not made out to be parents I guess.“

Returning to the news anchor Louis stands horrified as he watches on. 

“ As the investigation continues, we urge our viewers to stay informed and report any relevant information to the authorities. Our thoughts are with the Tomlinson family during this difficult time. Back to you in the studio.”

“Why didn’t anyone call me?”

Rushing to his phone, Louis discovers 14 missed calls from Garcia spanning from 6:30 am to just 15 minutes ago. There are twenty-two missed calls from his mother, four from Oli, and numerous voicemails.

“Shiiiiiiit!” he exclaims, scrambling to put on his shoes.

Fully equipped to leave, Louis witnesses Harry gathering his belongings too, and he can’t believe this is happening.

“Are you ready? I’ll call an Uber, and we can—”

“NO!” Louis shouts, the volume unintended. Louis’ voice, now firm, sends a shiver down Harry’s spine. Harry freezes, analysing Louis’ expression.

“Lou.”

Louis exhales loudly, lowering his voice, soft, timid, and laden with regret.

“This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen, Harry. I explicitly said I didn’t need any distractions, and now, after just one night together, I’ve missed crucial calls. You make me feel safe, warm, and somewhat happier when I’m with you, but I can’t have that, Harry. I need to stay focused; my attention must be on my boy and MY boy only.”

Harry is hurt.

Is it because Louis doesn’t want his help, or because he now feels he’s in the way? Or is it because Louis emphasised that one word more than the others: ‘MY’ boy. Confirming it’s not his kid.

Either way, Harry can’t bear to see Louis in this state.

“I-”

Louis doesn’t give Harry the opportunity to speak any further. In an unexpected turn, he leans in and does something both of them weren’t anticipating: he kisses Harry ever so carefully, an extra-long pause as his lips linger on his cheek.

“Go back to LA, Harry.” Louis says so softly, and fuck, it hurts. It hurts them both so badly… The weight of those words hit them both really hard in totally opposite ways, because one didn’t want to say it and one didn’t want to hear it. Louis snatches his phone and heads straight out the door, leaving behind an ache that resonates in the empty space once again  between them.

🚨

As the Uber takes Harry away from the Doncaster township, the passing town, once a backdrop of shared moments, now blurs in a melancholic haze as he retreats from the place that held a fleeting promise of connection.

He can’t shake off the heavy feeling of disappointment in himself. Packed bags sit beside him, a tangible representation of the rift he unintentionally created.

His phone rings, disrupting the quiet confines of the car. Harry hesitates before answering, taking a deep breath as he recognises the number.

As he answers, the car carries him away from Doncaster, each passing landmark a fading echo of ‘ what could have been.’

“ Hey Frankie….Yeah im sorry sweetheart, I didn’t have time. I had to leave in a hurry and…………..I don’t know when I will be back…..Missing a two month anniversary is not that bad…No…Alright…I said I’m sorry, what else do you want me to say? I will see you when I get back. Miss you too.”

🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Oop-  👀🫣

Well, thoughts ?

Chapter 8 - Paternity

A/N

Apologies for the extended delay. The Christmas hustle with the kids at home has kept me on my toes. Truth be told, I also had a mini meltdown in my writing world. It’s been a constant cycle of writing and deleting, the frustration mounting as I struggled to convey the story as I envisioned it. I’m still not happy with this chapter and this mishap is also the reason that this chapter will focus purely on Harry and Louis’ relationship while taking a break from the investigative side. 

Are you ready? Because Mister Styles is about to discover Saxon’s paternity. 👀

Enjoy the 13.2k  word chapter. 🫡

🚨

After Louis sent him away, all Harry could do was rush to the one place that made him feel safe and loved, and that place wasn’t LA. Going back there felt unfathomable to him. So he went where his heart led him…to Holmes Chapel. 

Harry carefully lowered his bags onto the veranda. With a deep breath, he pressed the doorbell, the sound reverberating through the stillness of the polished wooden floorboards inside. As he waited, the rhythmic click of heels approached from within the house, building a sense of suspense.

The door swung open, revealing a woman whose eyes widened in surprise. “Harry. What in God’s name are you doing here?” Her astonishment was palpable as she took in the unexpected sight of her son standing at the threshold.

A warm smile stretched across Harry’s face, an expression of both shock and affection. “Hey, Mum.” Without hesitation, he opened up his arms, and they enveloped each other in a tight embrace. The connection, a blend of genuine surprise and the comfort of reunion, filled the space between them, momentarily overshadowing the mystery of Harry’s sudden arrival.

“ I need to discuss something with you.”

Harry and his mother sat at the kitchen table, the aroma of freshly baked cookies wafting through the air. The homely atmosphere belied the weight of the conversation unfolding between them. Harry casually picked up one of the cookies from the middle of the table, taking a thoughtful bite, savouring the familiar taste that brought a momentary distraction.

Anne gazed at him with a mix of curiosity and concern. “This is some story you’re putting forth, Harry. Are you really sure about all this?” Her eyes searched his face for any hint of doubt or hesitation.

Harry leaned back in his chair, his expression earnest. He had sat with her, recounting the surreal experience of recognizing Louis, the man from the missing child case, as someone he had shared an intimate night with. 

“Yes, Mum. I’m not kidding. The boy, Saxon, looks just like me.” 

Harry reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone to show a picture of Saxon before rushing over to the cupboard in the adjoining lounge.

With swift determination, Harry retrieved his baby album and flipped through its pages until he found a similar photograph. Placing it next to the image of Saxon, he proclaimed, “See, he is a carbon copy of me. A copy of a copy if you will.”

Anne examined the pictures side by side, her lips pressed together in contemplation. “Oh, Harry. This is insane. I mean, you are not wrong here. That boy is undeniably yours. I…I don’t know what else to say.” 

The weight of this new discovery settled in the room, the connection between Harry and the missing child unfolding before them, a surreal truth that left them both grappling with the implications.

Anne’s gaze shifted between the photos, a mixture of astonishment and realisation colouring her expression. The gravity of the situation settled in, and she took a deep breath before addressing her son.

“We need to confront Louis about this, there’s no way around it.” Anne stated, her voice steady but laden with the weight of the revelation.

Harry nodded in agreement. “I can’t just let it be. If Saxon is my son, I need to know more about him and what happened. I want to know everything I can.” 

Anne offered a reassuring squeeze to Harry’s hand. “I will support you through this, but we need to be prepared for whatever comes to light. The truth might not be easy.”

Harry’s determination remained unwavering. “I can handle it.”

Anne looked at Harry with uncertainty.

“ I can.” He repeated. 

As they huddled over the table, contemplating the next steps in which approach would be suitable, Anne had trouble trying to conceal her excitement. Afterall, she’s always wanted grandchildren but with that child now missing, it’s like she has been blessed and cursed at the exact same time, and Harry feels exactly the same way. 

“ Do I dare ask how… um…” 

Harry somehow knows what is coming, but the last thing he wants to do right now is argue with his mother, so he keeps it civil.

“ Ask what, mother?”

Anne raises her eyebrows. Harry is well aware that Anne dislikes his girlfriend. They haven’t met face to face, only on zoom but he knows his mother well. When Anne dislikes someone, her facial features and gestures speak volumes of her disapproval. Her eyes narrow into slits, piercing through you with a cold and calculating gaze that conveys utmost scepticism, pretty much the same way Harry does. 

Mother, like son.  

The creases around her eyebrows deepen, forming a subtle frown that underscores her discontent. Her lips, once warm and inviting, press tightly together, forming a firm line that suppresses any trace of a smile. As she watches the person she dislikes, her head slightly tilts to the side, revealing a hint of exasperation. Occasionally, a subtle shake of her head adds emphasis to her lack of approval. The tension in her shoulders becomes evident, as they rise slightly, suggesting a subconscious desire to create distance. In combination, these facial features and gestures paint an undeniable picture of her repugnance, conveying her disapproval without the need for words.

Anne does not approve of Frankie. 

It could have something to do with the way that within their limited digital exchanges over the last couple of weeks, Frankie’s eloquence was tinged with a colourful palette of profanity-laden lexicon, and the impolite cadence of her gum-chewing rituals, emerged as discordant notes for Anne who found her nothing but rude.  

Yet, beyond these annoyances, it was the absence of a promising character and self-respect in Frankie’s demeanour that posed a challenge for Anne’s acceptance. 

In her discerning gaze, the vision for her son surpassed the current alignment, calling for a companion of elevated refinement and grace. 

Harry deserves someone better. 

Anne confidently clears her throat, subtly lifting her head, aware that her following words might not sit well with her son.

“ Well, I’m dying to hear the pearls of wisdom from little Miss ‘Politeness Prodigy’ for her insightful commentary. What does she think about all of this? I bet she didn’t like you taking off from LA, I’m surprised she isn’t here glued to your arse.” 

“ Mum!” 

Harry forcefully pushes his chair away, the screech echoing as he retrieves his mug, decorated with a distinct ‘H’ and clatters it into the kitchen sink with a touch of displeasure.

Whispering an apologetic “Sorry” she adds, almost inaudibly, though her true sentiments suggest otherwise.

“I always sensed your reservations about her, but I never expected such blunt honesty.” Harry remarks, a touch of surprise in his voice.

Curiously, Harry grapples with an unexpected realisation—he’s more shocked than upset by his mother’s words. The absence of any profound emotions perplexes him; shouldn’t he be hurt or feel sympathy for Frankie?

Out of nowhere, Anne poses the pivotal question: “Do you love her?” In that moment, Harry finds the answer he was seeking. 

Love.

If you were to look up the meaning you would be hit with several variations of the meaning.

1. A strong feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection.

2. A profoundly tender, passionate affection, often mingled with sexual desire, for another person.

3. To have a warm personal attachment to or deep affection for.

4. To have love or affection for another person; be in love.

Yet not one of these resonates in the pit of Harry’s stomach.

“ No.” 

Concealing a satisfied smirk from Harry’s view, Anne harbours a deeper concern, compelling her to seek another answer.

“Why are you with her then?”

That is a question that Harry does have a proper understanding of, one like the familiar contours of his own hand.

“ Because she-”

A sudden message tone reverberated through the room, catching Anne off guard as Harry’s phone vibrated on the table.

“It’s Liam.” Harry declared, a note of concern in his voice. “He’s in a bit of a panic. I had videos planned for this week. He’s wondering when I’ll be heading back.”

Anne, uncertain about how to offer assistance, merely shrugged. The decision lay squarely with Harry; he was the one with the power to determine the next course of action.

Fixated on the screen, Harry faced two distinct options. The first involved an immediate departure: getting up, grabbing his bag, and heading straight back to Los Angeles to resume work. Why not? He could stay updated on the investigation online and maintain communication with Louis from anywhere. On the flip side, he could choose to inform Liam promptly that work was currently a distant concern, emphasising the necessity of remaining close to Louis during this crucial period.

His fingers moved with a kind of desperate intensity while Anne reached for the baby book, flipping through its pages. The uncanny resemblances unfolded, each page a reminder of Harry’s long-held dream of fatherhood. Opening her phone, she entered “Saxon Tomlinson” into the Google search, her thumb tracing the delicate features of his tiny face.

In the complex landscape of decision-making, where the mind and heart often take centre stage, Anne pondered the enigmatic power of ‘gut feeling’. There’s a saying that eyes are windows to the soul, and as she peered into the boy’s pupils, along with noticing his little curls, a profound sadness settled in.

Deep down, Anne couldn’t shake the heavy feeling that this child was indeed her grandchild.

As Harry placed his phone on the table, he couldn’t ignore the subtle signs of Anne trying to discreetly wipe away a tear.

“Mum” he whispered, the words drifting like a fragile bridge across the chasm of sorrow that surrounded them.

They say you should never discredit your intuition. When you have a keen sense of feeling, follow what your body is telling you because the strength of your inner core is where the truth always lies.

“I apologise, Harry. It’s just that… I can sense it in my very bones. Saxon is my grandchild; I can feel it, unmistakably. Oh, Harry, what are we going to do, and Louis—he must be shattered, those two poor boys. Harry.”

As she tears up, Harry tenderly leans over, enfolding her in a tight embrace.

“Well, first things first. Let’s prepare something for dinner. I’ve already conveyed to Liam that I can’t return home. I can’t, Mum. I need to be here.”

🚨

Meanwhile, Louis stormed into the police station, the heavy glass door swinging violently behind him. His eyes darted across the bustling room until they locked onto the imposing figure of Detective Reign emerging from behind the front desk. The detective, cool and collected, held a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and a folder in the other, his stature commanding attention.

Reign’s gaze met Louis’ with a stern intensity as he extended a finger, a silent gesture for patience. The atmosphere hummed with urgency as Louis waited, uncertainty etched on his face. The young receptionist beside Reign seemed almost intimidated by his presence.

With deliberate steps, Detective Reign manoeuvred through the crowded station, his long strides carrying him into the foyer. Louis followed, a mix of eagerness and impatience in his walk. The detective’s every move exuded a seamless blend of confidence and purpose.

“There you are. We have been trying to contact you all morning.” Reign finally spoke, his voice low and measured, the echo of authority cutting through the ambient noise of the station. 

“I’m sorry. My phone was on silent, and I just saw the calls. There’s new footage?” 

The folder Reign held seemed to contain answers, and Louis was just desperate to hear them. 

Louis couldn’t help but feel a sense of nervousness in the detective’s presence. The aroma of brewing coffee mingled with the faint scent of ink and paper as Reign motioned for Louis to follow, leading him down the hallway and away from any prying eyes and ears. 

“Come with me.” Detective Reign commanded, his words resonating with purpose as they embarked on a journey that promised answers and perhaps the resolution Louis had been desperately seeking….or maybe not. 

As Louis followed Reign, something felt off.  The muted conversations of officers and the occasional ring of phones underscored the whole scene as Louis looked around, a sense of dread quickly creeping in. They arrived at a brightly lit room, its door labelled ‘Investigation Room 7.’

Reign pushed the door open, revealing a small, sterile space with a table at its centre. The detective gestured for Louis to take a seat as he placed the folder on the table. The room seemed to close in around them, the silence amplifying the gravity of the information about to be revealed.

Opening the folder, Detective Reign slid a series of photographs across the table, a series of still frames captured from footage that had recently been handed in.

“We obtained this footage this morning from a nearby surveillance camera.” Reign explained, his gaze fixed on the images. “It’s from the first night since he vanished.  Look here.”

Louis felt his heart race, his eyes locked on the unfolding scene in the photographs. 

Each image captured a different angle of an alleyway. In the centre of the frame, a figure could be seen, obscured by darkness.

But then, he laid eyes on him. There he was, his baby, being led away into the night. The surge of emotion gripped him, a mix of desperation and determination. The need to uncover the truth intensified as the footage revealed a new layer of complexity to the investigation, leaving Louis again with more questions than answers.

In the sequence, Saxon, Louis’ son, was unmistakably being led into a sleek black Range Rover. The images were clear, capturing the vulnerability of Saxon’s face, that was filled with confusion and fear, a sight Louis was truly never going to forget. 

“The footage was submitted by a couple who had been following the case. They own a small shop about fifteen minutes away from the playground.They checked their cameras out of curiosity and came across this.” Detective Reign explained, his tone steady. “Pay attention to this part.”

As the detective progressed through the images handing him one, Louis saw a shrouded figure emerge beside Saxon, cleverly disguised in distinctive clothing that concealed any identifying features. The mystery surrounding the person’s identity deepened, a deliberate effort to remain hidden.

 “Once more, the person is shrouded in anonymity. There’s no new information to take from their appearance, only the outline of a robust frame. If I had to make an assumption, I’d say it leans towards male, but let me stress this enough, that’s mere conjecture, not a confirmed fact.”

Louis shifted his gaze back to the photograph of his son, holding it closer to his face. The fear radiating from his boy’s image cut through him, a painful reminder of the terror Saxon must be enduring. It struck Louis to his core, his insides churning with a heart-wrenching sorrow. Overwhelmed, he instinctively spun around, rushing towards the small bin to empty his stomach—a physical manifestation of the profound emotional anguish that gripped him.

Detective Reign moved with a quiet urgency, navigating around the table to retrieve the tissues box. He offered it to Louis, allowing him a moment to clean up the aftermath. As Louis dabbed at his mouth, a faint murmur reached his ears—the muffled cadence of Reign’s voice engaged in what seemed like a discreet conversation with his two-way radio transceiver. Reign’s voice was low and composed, carrying an undercurrent of concern, a request for support in handling the delicate situation.

“Garcia, I need some assistance in room 7 immediately. Also, bring water for Tomlinson, please.” 

Several minutes later, the door creaked open, and Officer Garcia cautiously entered the room. Her eyes immediately found Louis, who was visibly shaken by the revelation unfolding before him. She hands him the bottle and smiles softly. 

Garcia, filled with genuine concern, approached Louis, her gaze shifting between the distraught father and the detective. “Louis, are you okay? Everyone’s been worried about you,” she said.

Processing images of his son being led away, Louis managed a nod. His strained voice conveyed determination, “We need to find him. We need to know who took him. Please, I can’t take this anymore.”

Detective Reign acknowledged Garcia’s presence with a nod, recognizing the need for support in this emotionally charged moment.

“I promise, Louis, we will not give up. Detective Reign and I will be here for you and do whatever we can to get Saxon back to you.” Detective Garcia compassionately assured him. “Anything you need, please let us know.”

Thanking them with a nod, Louis stood to leave the building. Pausing to look at the frozen picture of Saxon and the unknown individual, he prayed they would find them soon.

🚨

Over the next couple of weeks, Louis visited the police station every day, hoping for good news. But each and every time he was disheartened by dead ends and inconclusive forensics, his family remaining his rock.

One day, a normal everyday visit to the police station left Louis feeling uneasy. As Detective Reign gestured for him to take a seat, a subtle exchange of glances between Reign and Officer Garcia hinted at a difficult conversation ahead.

Furrowing his brow, Louis demanded. “What’s going on? Why the secrecy?” The weight of worry tightened in his chest.

Taking a deep breath, Reign began. “Louis, there’s something we need to discuss.” Garcia subtly shook her head, forewarning of the challenging conversation.

As Reign spoke, he revealed the chilling reality: “It’s been weeks since Saxon disappeared and-.” 

The room closed in around them, shadows deepening with each passing moment. Reign’s voice trailed off, leaving an unspoken but heavy implication lingering, something Louis was most definitely not expecting to hear just yet. Louis’ eyes widened in disbelief as Reign laid out the harsh facts about the crucial first 48 hours and the odds thereafter.

“What are you saying?” he demanded, a mixture of fear and anger colouring his tone as he didn’t allow Reign to finish. 

Garcia, her voice steady, reached for Louis’ hand. “Louis, this does not mean we are giving up.”

“Sounds like you are to me!” Louis interjected, frustration and desperation evident in his voice.

Garcia pressed on, explaining the harsh reality. “There are no substantial leads, nothing concrete to find him.”

Reign, maintaining a composed exterior, added. “We’ll still be looking, but we need to cut back on the number of officers assigned to the case.” 

The blood seemed to drain from Louis’ face as the weight of the words settled in. The room felt heavy with the stark realisation that the race against time had become even more critical.

Detective Reign sighed, his expression conveying the somber reality. 

“Louis, after the first 48 hours, missing children cases become incredibly challenging. Statistics show that the chances of finding them-”

Reign halted in his sentence, a momentary pause as if reluctant to utter the final word, but Louis understood as he finished it anyway. 

“Alive.” Louis muttered, the word escaping his lips with a heavy resonance.

“Yes, that starts to decline significantly. It’s not what anyone wants to hear, but it’s crucial you understand the facts.  While we haven’t given up and the case is very much active, as time passes other cases come up and our resources are limited and we have to unfortunately scale back the police presence.“

A shroud of fear and disbelief draped over Louis’ face, the hope he had nurtured earlier now eclipsed by darker news. 

“What do you mean, Detective? Are you suggesting there’s no hope? That’s it then?”

Reign nodded solemnly. “ It’s a harsh reality, one I wish we didn’t have to face. After that window passes, the odds of finding substantial leads diminish, and the trail becomes colder.“

Louis clenched his fists.

 “So, what are you telling me? That we’ve run out of time to find Saxon?”

Detective Reign met Louis’ gaze with empathy. “We’re not giving up, Louis. We’ll keep searching, but we need to be realistic here. The longer it takes, the more challenging it becomes. We’re doing everything we can.”

The room seemed to tighten with the weight of the information, leaving Louis grappling with the harsh truth about the critical time frame in missing child cases.

Detective Reign’s expression softens as he flicks a concerning look towards Garcia.   

“Louis, determining when to scale back on a missing child case isn’t a set formula. It’s a difficult judgement call based on a variety of factors.”

Louis, anxiety plastered across his face, pressed for clarity. “What factors, Detective? When do you exactly decide to give up on finding a missing child?”

Detective Reign’s gaze momentarily drifted away as he paused, each word chosen with the weight of years of experience in the job. He understood the delicate nature of this conversation, the raw emotions that swirled around parents in moments like these. After all, who could blame them for grappling with the harsh reality that the odds of seeing their child again had significantly diminished?

Reign’s expression remained steady, his eyes now focused on the worn desktop, a weathered surface that had borne witness to countless heart-wrenching conversations.

The subtle hum of the station’s activity outside the closed door seemed to fade into the background, leaving behind a quiet moment of contemplation. In these moments, Reign’s understanding of the human struggle against despair surfaced, a silent acknowledgment of the uphill battle parents faced when confronted with the stark reality of missing children.

“We consider the passage of time, the presence of substantial leads, and the resources at our disposal. It’s a delicate balance. We want to find your son, but we also need to be realistic about our capabilities.”

Louis’ fists tightened further, the frustration and despair palpable in his voice. “So, when do you declare it a cold case? When do I accept that it’s over, give up on my son, and admit that he’s gone forever? When do I stop looking, huh? Should I just go back to work now, carry on as if he never existed? Tell me, Detective, when do we all stop looking? Is it now, tomorrow, or NEXT WEEK!?!?”

There was a desperate plea for answers that seemed elusive in the face of an unforgiving reality. It was as though defeat bore down on Louis, everything he felt suddenly laid bare in the haunting silence that followed.

Louis’ anger surged, a turbulent wave that mirrored the ache in his chest. Reign observed the outburst with a sympathetic gaze, choosing to overlook the harshness of tone. As a father and a grandfather himself, Reign could only imagine the profound difficulty Louis faced. However, he remained steadfast in his commitment to fulfilling his duty, aware that preparing Louis for the challenging road ahead was important for his own sanity.

Reign sought after a delicate balance. He valued transparency and, like Garcia, believed that open, honest communication was essential, even when the truth was hard to bear. As Reign tried to convey the complexities ahead, he couldn’t help but recognize the vulnerability in Louis, and it pulled at his chest. Reign met Louis’ gaze with empathy. 

“Louis, there isn’t a specific timeline. We will remain dedicated as long as there’s a chance, but if the case reaches a standstill and leads dry up, we may have to reassess. It’s about making the most effective use of resources and considering the probability of making progress.“

The room fell into a heavy silence as the situation sank in for both detectives and the desperate father, the uncertainty of the path ahead standing still in time. 

Garcia extended a tentative hand, aiming to offer a gesture of comfort to Louis, but the timing proved to be less than ideal. “We understand that this is incredibly difficult to hear, and—”

Louis’ frustration boiled over as he pounded his fist on the table, his voice laced with anger. “Difficult!!!  What do you know about difficulties?  You tell me all the things you’re going to do to help me find my child but then nothing happens. You came to me with a video of the person that took him and you have his car but you then tell me that it’s a dead end. That was the best lead you had and you did nothing.  HOW COULD THE FUCKING RANGE ROVER BE A DEAD END?  HOW COULD YOU NOT TRACE HIM IN IT WITH CCTV FOOTAGE?” His words soared through the room, a raw expression of the desperation and rage coursing through him.

Detective Reign, maintaining his composure, picked up one of the photos and stared at it as he spoke. 

“Louis, we’ve gone over this before. We ran everything through our system and determined there are only two black Range Rovers in Doncaster. And four others in the surrounding vicinity. We already had officers checking up on the plates and had been dispatched to go and investigate. Everyone came back clear. There are only two left to enquire about, please bear with us here. Like we said, we are not giving up; we just wanted to forewarn you of future plans.”

The room vibrated with tension, Louis’ furious outburst reverberating in the air. The stark contrast between his palpable frustration and Detective Reign’s measured response highlighted the desperate struggle to piece together any remaining leads.

“Again, this is not happening right now.” Garcia gently reminded him, her tone offering a momentary reprieve. “However, we would like to have a chat with you about Harry.” 

Well that indeed caught Louis’ attention. 

“ What about him?” 

Garcia smiled as Reign opened that stupid notepad Louis had come to despise. 

Detective Garcia offered a congenial smile, also watching Reign flip open the notepad that had become a symbol of official inquiries in Louis’ mind.

“I don’t mean to intrude, but we’re curious if you’ve informed Harry yet. You’re not obligated to answer, but Detective Reign has engaged with him previously. It would greatly facilitate our investigation if he were aware, making the official interview process smoother.” Garcia articulated professionally, understanding the delicate nature of the situation and the significance of Harry’s cooperation in their investigative process.

Louis felt a wave of astonishment wash over him, the revelation catching him off guard. The idea that Harry might be drawn into this intricate web of investigations hadn’t crossed his mind; he had hoped Harry could remain shielded from the complexities that now loomed ahead. The realisation settled heavily upon him, hinting at the loss of control over the situation.

“Why? What’s the reason and need to speak with him? And you mentioned you’ve already had a conversation. When? Why? What was said in that discussion?” Louis fired a series of questions, concerned as he sought after clarity.

Detective Reign, discerning the urgency in Louis’ inquiries, extended his hand in a calming gesture, a silent indication for Louis to pause.

“It’s alright. It was merely a brief unofficial conversation. I didn’t divulge any sensitive information.” Reign reassured, his measured words attempting to calm Louis’ apprehension.

Louis refrains from pressing for further details, recognizing the futility in expecting any substantial disclosure. He exhales a sigh, inhaling deeply, contemplating the significance of the police’s interest in Harry. The notion lingers that there must be a compelling reason for them to seek Harry’s involvement.

“Alright, alright” Louis concedes, a sense of resignation in his tone. “ I will tell him.” He acknowledges the responsibility to relay the message to Harry, to admit paternity, understanding that if the police are seeking his cooperation, there must be a valid and pressing rationale behind it.

🚨

Louis slides into the leather seat of his car, the stale scent of regret lingering in the air. His gaze sweeps across the police vehicles crowding the parking lot, a tangible reminder of the chaos that has hijacked his life. The familiar surroundings of the station now feel like a second home, an unwelcome refuge that eclipses the warmth of his own dwelling. His car, a silent witness to the unravelling chapters of his existence, bears witness to the toll this relentless routine entails.

The realisation hits him like a heavy burden; he’s become a permanent resident of the police station, a reluctant tenant of a life dictated by the consequences of his actions. His real home remains a distant memory, a place he dare not revisit, even for the basic comforts of clothing. The detachment is noticeable as he struggles with the irony of spending more time within the cold walls of law enforcement, than within the haven he once called home.

Having extended his apologies to his mother the other week in regards to the unanswered calls, Jay, initially irritated at being left to worry through the night, had seamlessly transformed annoyance into unwavering support, dousing him with a cascade of affection and understanding.

He sends a concise text regarding his prolonged absence, casting doubt on the notion of returning home anytime soon tonight. The car rumbles to life as he deftly manoeuvres it away. The journey leads him to the petrol station, where the metallic click of the fuel nozzle punctuates the quiet evening, replenishing both the car’s tank and the narrative of his unplanned expedition.

In the intricate web of asphalt and possibilities, Louis wholeheartedly subscribes to the philosophy that roads are conduits for journeys, not mere pathways to destinations. His navigation is a whimsical dance, a disoriented pas de deux with uncertainty, as the memory of Doncaster fades in his rearview mirror. Signposts are neglected companions, their messages disregarded in favour of spontaneous turns, each corner unravelling a mystery yet to be unveiled.

The open road becomes his sanctuary, a canvas of liberation where the wind, untamed and full of stories, strokes his face with therapeutic grace. Louis, lost in the symphony of freedom, fails to acknowledge the speedometer’s reproachful digits. The accelerator becomes an extension of his desire for emancipation, the pedal meeting the floor with an unapologetic determination, pushing the boundaries of the speed limit into a blur of exhilaration.

With the window down, the rush of wind becomes a euphoric melody, drowning out the mundane notes of reality. Louis, now a captive of velocity, lets his arm dangle casually outside the car, fingers teasing the invisible strings of the breeze. In a daring moment, he succumbs to the allure of spontaneity, closing his eyes for a heartbeat, savouring the transient liberation that only the open road can offer—a fleeting escape from the chains he felt trapped in.

A surge of revitalization courses through Louis, a momentary respite from the shackles of his existence. The air, crisp and invigorating, wraps around him like a newfound cloak of freedom. In those ephemeral seconds, the weight of the world dissipates, replaced by a profound quietness that drowns out the cacophony of life’s demands. In this suspended method of time, there is no pressure, no insomnia, and certainly, no pain .

His senses, once burdened, now revel in the purity. Louis, momentarily liberated, opens himself to the embrace of the world, feeling the undiluted essence of semi freedom. Yet, as his eyes flutter open, a fleeting illusion of normalcy shatters. A single tear, a silent testament to the unspoken battles within, traces its path down his cheek, contradicting the illusion of being okay. In that solitary tear, the silent and enduring pain remains, a reminder that even in a moment of a perceived escape, the haunting spectre of being defenceless never leaves him. 

In the cloak of night, Louis can only see as far as the reach of his headlights permits. The path ahead unfolds mysteriously, a shadowy corridor that tantalises his senses. It’s not that he doesn’t see the road; it’s just that he cannot articulate where it ultimately leads. The enigma of the unknown, the ambiguity of his destination, becomes the fuel for his relentless journey.

The allure of uncharted routes beckons him forward, each turn a divergence into the unexplored. The absence of a predetermined endpoint is precisely what propels him further into the abyss of the open road, it’s where he finds inspiration—the very catalyst that propels him to continue navigating the undulating tapestry of his own odyssey.

Amidst the boundless paths that life offers, Louis adheres to a silent creed: follow roads where the heart unfurls, where the soul finds its rhythm, and where the mind is enriched with every mile. As his car gracefully decelerates upon entering a town, his gaze ascends to the sign that declares ‘ Welcome to Holmes Chapel .’ In that moment of transition, the town’s name becomes more than letters on a sign; it’s an invitation, a portal to the unknown, urging him to explore the secrets it cradles within its streets and stories. But that’s not it, that’s not why he is there. 

Call it coincidence or label it luck; Louis, if questioned, would likely dismiss any notion of fate orchestrating this adventure. Yet, fate, subtle and elusive, has woven its threads around him. Unbeknownst to him, as he eases into a car park adjacent to a two-story apartment complex, the proximity to Harry is a mere two blocks away.  The why and how of his arrival will remain evasive to him, nestled deep within the recesses of his soul, protected like a well-guarded secret. The unseen forces that guided him to this specific spot hide themselves in the intangible, leaving the details forever encrypted in the silent passages of his consciousness. The serendipity of his presence, Harry’s nearness, is a poetic dance orchestrated by fate, leaving the particulars of this cosmic ballet to be forever whispered between the threads of destiny.

Louis emerges from the confines of the car, a symphony of limbs cracking as he awakens his body. A silent curse escapes when he realises his pockets hold no traces of any smokes, a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of his chaotic experience tonight. With a sigh of reluctant acceptance, he retrieves his phone. It’s only then when he notices another text from Harry. He has received at least one every day for the past couple of weeks and yet Louis has not replied to any of them.  

The texts have ranged from multiple questions, a lifeline extending from afar—questions about well-being ( Are you okay ?), gestures of assistance ( Do you need anything ?), an open invitation to call. ( I’m only a phone call away. Call if you need me. I’m here for you .) Yet, within this digital dialogue, it’s the simple yet effective profound phrase that strikes a chord within Louis, the text he has just received: 

“ Miss you.“

A paradox blooms in his chest. How can one miss someone after a fleeting encounter that barely spanned five minutes of his life? It defies logic and any reason, and yet, the inexplicable connection he feels to Harry is undeniable, but Louis is pretty sure, it isn’t just because the two of them created a little human together. It feels stronger, and on a deeper level and frankly, it terrifies him. 

Reign’s words emerge from the depths of his mind, a ghostly whisper from his inner consciousness. 

‘ You need to tell Harry .’

There’s a truth demanding the confession, a disclosure itching to be unveiled and set free. If only Louis could muster up the courage to find the right words.  

He navigates to the world clock on his phone, seeking the solace of numerical precision. The ticking hands of time guide him to Los Angeles, a geographical anchor to the person who has unintentionally carved a space within the contours of his thoughts.  The digits on the screen, silent witnesses to the miles and minutes that separate them, beckon him to confront the one fear he’s been avoiding.

As the clock strikes 9 pm in his corner of the world, the realisation sets in that it’s around 1 pm in sunny LA for Harry. The time zone difference amplifies the ache in Louis’ stomach, pushing him to confront the inevitable. Resisting the urge to resort to a safer text, he steels himself to make the call, a challenge requiring a maturity he wishes he didn’t have to summon. His heart thunders in his chest like an impatient drumroll, each beat escalating his anxiety. Hovering over the call button, caught between the dread of the impending conversation and the desire for a silent escape, he silently pleads, “Please go to voicemail.” a desperate mantra that keeps repeating over and over in his mind. 

The button depresses with a reluctant click, the jarring ring piercing the air. Each resonating tone seems to magnify his apprehension as he anxiously awaits Harry’s response. The call progresses, and just as his pulse reaches a crescendo, luck falls upon him—the call diverts to voicemail. A sigh of relief escapes him, but the panic is quick to follow. Fumbling to end the call before any message can be recorded, Louis retreats from the brink, a temporary reprieve from the conversation he’s not quite ready to face.

But then it happens. 

The marimba sound of his ringtone starts blaring as he hops back into the car. 

Shit. 

He is nervous. 

The device rests in his trembling hand, and every ring echoes like a distant thunderstorm in his chest. The car feels oppressively quiet, except for the persistent ringing that amplifies the tension. A bead of sweat forms on his forehead as nerves weave through his thoughts. The incoming call, a potential harbinger of challenging conversations, is making him tremble. Inhaling deeply, attempting to calm himself, the fear of what lies ahead hovers like an impending storm. The phone’s persistent ring becomes a symbol of the confrontation he can no longer evade, a moment he must face despite the knot tightening in his stomach. 

Without further hesitation, Louis finally answers. 

“ Hello.”

“Louis, are you alright? I’m glad you called; I’ve been worried about you.” Harry’s warm voice flows through the phone, a comforting tide that threatens to breach the carefully constructed walls Louis has built around himself. In a mere 0.02 seconds, emotions swirl within Louis like a tempest, caught off guard by the unexpected tenderness in Harry’s words. It’s disarming, and he wonders why Harry must be so caring, so kind, as if weaving a safety net beneath him, even as he stands on the precipice of a difficult conversation. Louis grapples with conflicting emotions – a fervent prayer that Harry will forgive him, entwined with the instinct to shield him from the storm Louis is about to unleash.

“I’m good, um, look, I’m sorry if I disturbed you at work or anything. I know it’s around midday or so over there, but I needed… I, um…” Louis stumbles over his words, a tangled confession threatening to spill out. Harry, perceptive as ever, senses Louis’ internal struggle. With a compassionate interruption, Harry interjects, a lifeline thrown to make the conversation less burdensome for Louis, a gesture of understanding that carries a silent promise of shared pain.

“No, Louis, it’s fine, really. I’m not at work. I just got out of the shower; that’s why I missed your call. Lou, is there something wrong? Your voice, you sound a little panicked.” 

The fact that Harry can effortlessly decipher Louis, even through a simple phone call, never ceases to amaze him entirely, a testament to the depth of their connection.

“I’m fine, honestly. I just got in my car tonight and just drove. I’ve been driving for hours. I don’t know where the hell I am. I pulled over in some town. I know it was stupid; I just needed some fresh air, and I just needed to get away, Harry. I couldn’t be there tonight. “ 

Louis spilt his truth in a rush, the words tumbling like an unsteady avalanche. Harry, now acutely concerned, senses the urgency in Louis’ tone causing him to react.

“Where are you? What town? It’s perfectly okay that you needed to escape; it’s normal. The amount of pressure you’re under is immense. But, Lou, I need to know where you are. Are you safe?” Harry’s concern rolls through his words like a gentle current, acknowledging the validity of Louis’ need to retreat.

“Home Chattel or something silly like that. I’ve never been here before and–”

“Holmes… Holmes Chapel? You’re in Holmes Chapel? Whereabouts, what is around you?” Harry’s voice, normally a source of comfort, now carries a tremor of urgency. Louis senses the sudden gravity but remains unaware of the reason behind Harry’s apparent distress. Nevertheless, he describes his unfamiliar surroundings, the name of the town an echo in the unfolding drama. Through the phone, Louis picks up on rustling, an audible manifestation of Harry’s eager movements.

“Harry? What’s wrong?” Louis’ inquiry left an uneasy taste in his mouth. “ Harry?” 

“ Stay where you are.” 

Beep beep beep.

What the hell?

Louis lets his head fall back against the headrest, the cool leather cradling him as he catches his breath. The aftermath of the call leaves Louis in a state of confusion. Time stretches, as he sits there for several minutes, the anticipation of another call from Harry keeping him tethered. He is almost ready to call him again, when he is abruptly interrupted by the intrusive blaze of car headlights flooding his rearview mirror. A spark of panic ignites within him as a car pulls up several feet behind him.

Through the glass, he watches with bated breath as the driver’s door swings open, revealing a figure stepping out into the night. Tall, with short dark hair, he sees the tight jeans and – holy fuck, it’s Harry. 

Louis’ heart quickens, caught between disbelief and relief, the unexpected appearance of Harry conjuring a whirlwind of feelings. In a hurried glance at himself in the mirror, he swiftly runs his hand through his hair, attempting to rectify whatever chaotic state it had assumed in the midst of his restless journey via the breeze from the lowered window. His reflection stares back at him, a fleeting moment of self-consciousness amid yet another reunion with the person who, against all odds, materialised in the night.

‘ Fuck .’ Louis mutters to himself just before Harry taps on his window. 

Opting to open the door instead, Louis steps out of the car, and Harry, with an attempt to conceal a smile, stands before him.

“What are you doing here, Harry? Last time I checked, LA was like, what, 5324 miles away?” Louis questions, a mix of surprise and curiosity painting his expression. The absurdity of the distance is not lost on either of them, yet there’s an unspoken understanding that transcends the logistical impossibilities.

Harry, despite the desire to laugh or playfully jest, finds himself unable to. His eyes conduct a quick, concerned scan over Louis’ face, noting the lingering fatigue etched on his features. The appropriateness of his next action is questionable, but his soul craves the connection. He reaches out to Louis, wrapping his arms around him gently. 

Expecting resistance or hesitation, Harry is met with the opposite as he feels Louis squeeze him back. In that embrace, the distance between them dissolved, and the unspoken heaviness began to lift, replaced by a shared warmth that spoke volumes.

“ I just couldn’t leave. I couldn’t walk away from you, not again.” 

Louis swallows hard as he retracts backwards immediately. He knows there’s many things to be said, but first off, he needs to say sorry for the way they last parted.

“ Harry.” 

When you reach the frequency of someone else, when two people walk closely together side by side, their souls connecting as one, no one can tell us what unconscious communication one’s mind may encounter with another. 

In Louis’ eyes, there’s a profound expression, a silent plea that Harry deciphers effortlessly as he gently shakes his head no. No words are exchanged, no need for Harry to urge Louis to remain silent, to spare him the unnecessary apology that he knew was coming. 

Louis’ mouth closes, a heavy quiet settling between them. His eyes, now glassy and wet, lock onto those familiar green depths. In this unspoken exchange, Louis manages to convey a torrent of apologises in a hundred different silent ways.

Louis allows his head to fall forward into Harry’s chest, whose arms wrap around him automatically.  As they embrace, he presses a soft kiss to the top of Louis’ head, murmuring. “ You’re not alone; I’m right here with you Lou, today, tomorrow and for however long you will let me.”

There is no response from Louis as Harry gently rubs his back. The absence of verbal acknowledgment is eclipsed by Louis’ body responding to the waves of grief that crash over him. His shoulders quiver with each silent sob, the physical release of pent-up emotions finding an outlet in the solace of Harry’s embrace. Tears stream down his face, a testimony to the weight he carries. Yet, amidst the vulnerability, there’s a subtle relaxation in his frame—a surrender to the comforting haven that Harry’s arms provide. 

Unbeknownst to them, Louis discovers an enduring sanctuary buried in Harry’s chest, while Harry will now forever be displaced without the soft touch of Louis’ hair against his lips. Together, they become a refuge where the chaos of the world momentarily dissipates, replaced by the serene ebb and flow of mutual understanding and care.

Tonight, destiny, fate, and all the stars possible aligned, allowing two souls to be forever entwined from now until always. 

If only the two of them would admit that they both felt it.

“ I should probably start heading home.” 

The words hit Harry hard, the prospect of letting go and allowing Louis to depart is unbearable. Each word made Harry resonate with aching emotion. Reluctant to part ways, Harry is taken aback when Louis suggests something he never anticipated. In an unexpected twist, Louis utters words that rekindle hope.

“Come with me?”

Relief paints a soft smile on Harry’s lips, a timely intervention sparing him from the brink of being utterly crushed by the thought of separation once again. 

“ Absolutely. Should we head back together? I can drop off the car and grab a few things.“

Nodding in agreement, Louis falls into sync with Harry towards his car. 

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

As Louis trails behind Harry in the car, he’s taken aback by the mere brevity of the journey, arriving promptly within minutes in front of a stately two-story house. Despite the darkness, the house exudes an air of elegance. The realisation dawns on Louis—of course, Harry possesses wealth. He’s careful not to make assumptions, yet even if they were renting this abode, the weekly cost to acquire this place would likely surpass Louis’ entire weekly earnings. The stark contrast between their financial worlds becomes noticeable in the face of this impressive residence.

The luxurious house continues to command his attention with an enchanting display of yellowish landscape lighting. The play of light and shadow accentuates the intricate details of the exterior, casting a gentle radiance upon the manicured landscape that surrounds the yard. The facade is a symphony of architectural finesse, adorned with multiple triangle-shaped rooftops that punctuate the skyline. It stands proudly, a masterpiece of design, the windows, framed in pristine white, gleam like portals to a world of opulence. As the light spills onto the meticulously manicured grounds, the house becomes a spectacle of elegance and allure. In the concrete driveway, Louis sits in his car, captivated by the radiant beauty of the architectural gem before him, bathed in the soft glow of the night.

Cursing under his breath, Louis can’t help but feel the weight of reality as he observes Harry stepping out of his vehicle. Hastily pulling out his phone, he remembers the looming task of texting his understanding boss. The past few weeks had been a respite, a grace period of paid holidays due to unforeseen circumstances. Louis had been fortunate that his boss, understanding the situation, had urged him to take all the time he needed. Yet, today marked the obligation to check in, to reassure them of his well-being and his readiness to return. Fingers poised above the screen, he halts his message midway, attention diverted as he notices Harry approaching. Rolling down the window, Louis senses the impending need for a conversation as Harry draws near.

“ I’m just gonna run inside real quick, wanna come? Need a bathroom break or a drink before we head off?“ Harry offers, and Louis’ bladder practically begs for relief. He almost blurts out an immediate yes, but Harry’s next words make him reconsider.

“Only my mum’s inside.”

The prospect of meeting Harry’s parents wasn’t on Louis’ agenda for the night. He looks dishevelled, feels unprepared, and frankly, he doesn’t believe he’s ready for such an introduction. Yet, the pressing need for a bathroom break becomes undeniable.

“Umm, yeah, okay. I do need a bathroom break actually.” Louis reluctantly admits.

Stepping inside, the rich scent of roses immediately engulfs him. His eyes catch a grand bouquet displayed in an exquisite vase on a pedestal in the hallway. Before he can absorb more, Harry swiftly closes the front door, a muffling voice emanating from another room. The sudden hush adds an air of mystery, heightening Louis’ apprehension about the impending encounter.

“Harry, where’d you disappear to without a word, and why did you take the old Toyota instead of the—”

Anne’s inquiry grinds to a halt as she enters the foyer, met with a stern look from Harry, silently pleading for her silence.

“Oh, my apologies. I’m sorry; I didn’t realise we had company.” Anne quickly amends, noticing Louis. Making eye contact, Louis returns a shy smile.

“Mum, this is Louis… a friend of mine. Louis, meet my darling mother.” Harry introduces. The introduction should have felt smooth, but an awkward tension lingers, perhaps in the way Harry had phrased it. Anne, however, closes the distance, and as Louis extends his hand, she opts for air kisses on each cheek.

“Nice to meet you, Louis. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m really sorry to hear about…” she pauses, giving Harry a meaningful look—a promise to keep quiet. “Your son.” she finishes.

“Thank you, and nice to meet you too.” Louis responds, navigating the delicate balance of courtesy.

Sensing Louis’ discomfort, Harry takes the initiative to break the tension.

“The bathroom is this way.” Harry guides, leading Louis to the restroom. As they walk, Harry subtly updates his mother on his plan to leave for the night before dashing upstairs. 

Louis seizes the moment, relishing the chance to freshen up. He lingers at the sink, splashing cool water on his face. The challenge of keeping the truth from Harry pales in comparison to the weight of the secret he guards from this woman he just met, who remains unaware of her  grandmother status. God, she seems so lovely too. 

Guilt courses through him, intertwining with every internal thought—a constant flow of remorse.

Guilt, guilt, guilt, and more internal guilt.

🚨

When Harry volunteered to take the wheel, Louis gladly agreed. Despite the potential awkwardness of Harry driving his beat-up car given their limited acquaintance, it strangely felt comfortable. Louis settled into the passenger seat with ease.

“These leather seats are surprisingly cosy.”

Louis smirks at hearing that.

“No need for politeness, Harry. We both know the seats are the only redeeming feature of this piece of junk.”

In his attempt to joke about it, Louis glances around the car, but it proves to be an utter mistake. His eyes fixate on the car seat still securely strapped in place, an involuntary gasp escaping him. Harry observes in silence. Without waiting for Harry to comment, Louis swiftly clarifies his intentions.

“Let’s just go, yeah.”

After Harry fills up the petrol before they depart, the ride is remarkably quiet for the first ten minutes. The air seems charged with unspoken thoughts, but then Harry, breaking the silence unintentionally, starts humming along to a song on the radio that Louis had turned on prior. 

Louis, caught off guard, gives him a curious look when he hears Harry sing.

“ He looks so pretty like a devil it’s you.”

The singing continues until Harry finally notices Louis’ expression and asks “What? What are you smiling at me like that for?”

Louis chuckles softly, shaking his head. “Mate, those aren’t the correct lyrics.”

Harry glances at the radio, when realisation dawns on him. 

“Really? Well, what are they then, smart ass?”

Louis grins mischievously and begins singing the correct lyrics, his voice not exactly melodic but filled with playful energy. 

“ He looks up grinning like a devil, it’s you.” 

Harry joins in, both of them laughing as they banter about the mix-up. The car transforms into a bubble of shared amusement, momentarily forgetting any earlier tension. However, the joyous moment takes a turn for Louis when he realises that he’s genuinely laughing – a sensation he hasn’t authentically experienced in quite a while. This newfound emotion doesn’t sit quite right with him.

Harry senses Louis’ shift in demeanour right away. Rather than addressing the issue, Harry tactfully observes as Louis recoils, leaning away and fixating on the darkness outside the window. The silence hangs heavy as Harry continues to  navigate the road.

Despite Harry’s occasional glances, Louis avoids meeting his gaze. It’s only when they are halfway home that Harry notices Louis, clutching at himself as if combating an unseen chill. Upon closer inspection, Harry realises Louis has closed his eyes and boy is he happy about that. Louis, perpetually appearing worn out, emits a soft snore, and Harry can’t help but feel a sense of contentment seeing him finally embrace some much-needed rest.

Swiftly reaching for the jacket behind him that he took off earlier, Harry lays it across Louis’ lap, his touch gentle yet deliberate, all while keeping his focus on the road. The car’s interior remains a cocoon of gentle concern as they continue the journey back to Doncaster.. quietly but together .

🚨

“Louis, Lou, wake up.”

Harry attempts to rouse Louis, but initially, there’s no response. Aware they’ve just entered Doncaster and uncertain about the directions, Harry decides to pull over gently. Louis jolts awake as the car comes to a sudden stop.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb your sleep, but we’re here, and I’m a bit lost. Which way to your place?”

Louis sits up, adjusting himself, a moment of panic flashing across his face. He hadn’t anticipated this. Taking Harry to his mother’s house this late isn’t ideal, and he hasn’t set foot in his own place for weeks. The weight of indecision lingers as he contemplates the next move.

Take him to Oli’s …or his own home?  

“ Um, this way.” 

Louis points ahead, directing Harry towards a small intersection just up ahead. In the next few minutes, Louis becomes an impromptu navigator, signalling lefts and rights until finally Harry pulls into the driveway of their destination.

The car pulls up in front of the house, and Harry observes Louis, whose gaze lingers on the familiar structure before shifting to his lap. A subtle tension fills the air, leaving Harry with a sense that something is amiss.

“What’s the matter, talk to me. Have you changed your mind, would you prefer I left?” Harry’s concern echoes through the quiet night. Louis meets his gaze, fear etched in his eyes.

Louis fidgets, his fingers restlessly tapping against each other, revealing the unease within. Harry turns towards him, offering comfort, encouraging Louis to share what’s on his mind. As Louis attempts to speak, there’s a choked-up sound, an indication of held-back emotions.

Pressing his lips together, Louis lets his head fall upon his lap once more, and in a soft tone, he admits “I haven’t been inside this house for ages. It’s too hard. Saxon is everywhere I look.”

“Oh, Louis. We can go to a hotel or something if that makes you feel any better.” Harry responds with genuine understanding.

Louis takes a deep breath, his exhale steadying himself. Opening the car door, he steps out, looking back at Harry, who follows suit.

“We’re here already. I will be okay.” Louis asserts as he watches Harry nod accepting his words and grabbing his bag from the back seat before locking the car. 

As they approach the entrance, Harry halts at the door, allowing the car keys to slip into Louis’ hands for unlocking.

“Are you sure about this?” Harry questions, genuine concern evident in his voice.

Louis inserts the key just as Harry’s phone begins to ring with the distinctive tone of Liam’s business number. A sense of urgency seizing the atmosphere.

“I’m sorry, give me a second, it’s work-related, sorry.” Harry apologises, his gaze fixed on Louis even as he answers the call. The frown deepens on Harry’s face as Liam informs him about the comments on his videos, people asking about his whereabouts and expressing concern over the lack of recent posts.

Though typically unfazed by such matters, Liam seems a bit more apprehensive this time. It appears that a couple of particularly observant fans believe they spotted Harry in Doncaster recently. Given the nature of some fans’ fervour, likened to that of FBI agents, Liam is concerned about the potential revelation of the Saxon connection. The uncanny resemblance between Harry and Saxon could spell trouble if pieced together by the more dedicated followers.

“ Have you spoken to Louis yet?”

Harry turns away slightly. “Liam, let me call you back later. I trust you can handle this like you always do.”

After ending the call, he turns back around, realising Louis has already entered the house.

“Shit.” he mutters under his breath. He’s unsure about barging in, yet knocking seems equally absurd. Picking up his bag, he cautiously steps through the doorway, closing it behind him and securing the lock. The lights illuminate the room, revealing Louis standing in the open lounge room, almost statue-like in front of a fireplace mantle.

Harry sets his bag down with a quiet thud and quietly approaches Louis from behind. As he draws nearer, the focal point of Louis’ gaze becomes apparent. It’s a picture of Saxon, captured in a frame—a frozen moment of happiness at the beach. The small boy clings to Louis, his hands wrapped around Louis’ neck, while Louis holds a spade and bucket.

Caught in the melancholy scene, Harry grapples with a sense of helplessness. Unsure of what to say or do, he settles on the first thought that surfaces.

“He has your smile.”

The words seem to snap Louis out of his trance as he turns slowly clearing his throat. 

“ Drink?” 

He takes off into the kitchen without waiting for a reply and Harry stays put wanting to allow him a little bit of space.

It’s very clear to Harry how much Louis loves and misses his boy, their boy. 

Harry carefully lowers himself onto the lounge, his eyes sweeping over the room. The lived-in ambiance wraps around him, evoking a poignant sense of home that feels haunted by the echoes of a not-so-distant past. Every nook and cranny tells a story of a life brimming with the laughter and chaos of a toddler.

Toys lie forgotten in a corner, silent witnesses to play times that once filled the room with joy. Photographs are scattered across every available surface, freezing moments of happiness that feel like ghosts of a life that was. If Saxon truly belongs to him, the realisation stabs at Harry’s heart. The pain intensifies at the thought of the milestones he might have missed, and now, with the little one missing, the cruel prospect of never getting to experience those moments claws at his soul. The room, which once was a haven of family warmth, now throbs with the ache of lost possibilities, leaving Harry in a heart-wrenching silence.

When Louis re-enters the room with two glasses of water in hand, he hands one to Harry and sits down beside him. 

“I hope it wasn’t weird that I asked you to come back here with me. I don’t know why I did it to be honest. I guess, I dunno, everyone keeps telling me I need to sleep and rest, and normally I can’t, Harry. But when you’re here, it’s like my body doesn’t give me a choice.”

The room seems to hold its breath as Louis opens up, revealing the vulnerability beneath his words. Harry contemplates the age-old saying about being silent when someone is hurting when you don’t know what to say or do, but he can’t resist the itching urge to reach out. His little finger moves with a tenderness that transcends words, grazing Louis’ thigh. In that delicate moment, the world around Louis fades into obscurity, Louis’ focus narrowing onto the hand that becomes a source of comfort, a silent language of solace.

Harry remains fixated on Louis’ hand as it descends, a feather-light touch brushing against his own skin. The intensity of Louis’ gaze as he manoeuvres his hand across Harry’s has an undertone of worry, and Harry senses the impending storm of emotions. Just as Harry contemplates breaking the silence, Louis beats him to it.

“Saxon has a birthmark too. Same hand, same colour, same shape.” The words linger in the air, heavy with the weight of shared realisation, and a tear escapes the corner of Louis’ eye, tracing a path down his cheek.

Fuck. 

Harry’s heart lurches in his chest, an erratic dance of anticipation, as he wonders what Louis is about to reveal. The suspense is palpable, the seconds ticking by like an eternity. His pulse quickens, thudding in his ears as he braces himself for whatever revelation is on the verge of his tongue.

Just as the tension becomes almost unbearable, Louis, tears glistening in his eyes, abruptly stands and stretches. The unexpected shift in direction leaves Harry on edge. Louis crosses the room, retrieving the remote and a blanket casually draped over the other lounge. Despite having a brief nap on the way back, the lingering need for sleep is evident as Louis glances at Harry.

“Feel free to sleep in my bed. It’s upstairs on the right.” Louis offers, settling back beside Harry, arranging the blanket over himself as the TV flickers to life.

“What about you?” Harry inquires, his gaze fixed on Louis.

Louis glances away, attention now on the TV screen. “I can’t go up there. I’m happy right where I am.”

“I am too.” Harry replies instinctively. He points to the blanket, suggesting “Share?”

Smiling, Louis kicks off his shoes, and Harry follows suit. Harry yearns for the intimacy of their previous night spent together, the simple comfort of Louis’ presence. Yet, as the night unfolds, it seems that the closeness he desires may remain just out of reach as Louis curls into the end of the couch away from him. 

Louis wrestles with restlessness while Harry silently enjoys an episode of ‘The Blackadder.’ Though the classic show would usually prompt laughter, Harry’s attention is drawn to Louis’ discomfort. Breaking the silence, he offers a solution. 

“Lou, feel free to stretch out and rest your legs on me, I don’t mind at all.”

Louis seizes those words like gospel, instinctively shifting his position until his head rests in Harry’s lap instead with no second thoughts.  

Blue meets green as Louis simultaneously  gets lost. But now, in this moment, and while enduring this dreadful part of his life that has been thrown to him, it’s becoming his favourite place to be. 

Harry wants nothing more than to reach out and stroke his cheek, to run his hand through his hair, Jesus he just wants to touch him in any way he can to comfort him because there’s so much pain in his eyes.

Eyes are naturally captivatingly beautiful, not because of the colour, but because of the words they hold within. Harry has come to the conclusion that Louis possesses the most powerful set of eyes he has ever seen. With just one look, he seems to manage to relay the most intimate messages. It’s as if words cease to exist as soon as the connection between them is made. 

“ We need to talk in the morning, Harry.”

Louis notices the way Harry visibly gulps. 

In the stifling grip of anxiety, Louis can hardly suppress the nervous tremors seizing him as he utters the bold sentence.

He can feel the nervous energy coursing through his veins as he contemplates what he just said. Tomorrow morning’s impending confession hangs over him like a dark cloud, knowing that he must summon the courage to reveal a life-altering truth to Harry—that Saxon is, indeed, his child.

The knots in his stomach tighten, the walls of his chest seem to close in, each breath a struggle against the growing angst. A torrent of conflicting emotions rages within Louis—fear, regret, and the desperate need to follow through with a revelation that threatens to shatter the fragile balance they’ve so far managed to maintain.

“ Relax Lou, get some sleep.” 

Harry wishes for the ability to unravel the enigma of Louis’ mind, willing to pay a hefty sum for that privilege. As Louis maintains his intense gaze, Harry surrenders willingly, tenderly lifting his hand to sweep a stray lock of hair away from Louis’ eyes. In that delicate instant, Harry wonders if he’s merely imagining it, but for a heartbeat, it feels as if Louis leans ever so slightly into the touch. Louis’ eyelids begin to flutter closed, leaving a trace of ambiguity in the charged air that envelops them.

Sleep.

Sleep eludes Harry, held captive by the unsettling knowledge that Louis might divulge something crucial tomorrow. His eyelids carry the weight of fatigue, but it’s the gravity of his thoughts that keeps him in a relentless wakefulness. The television flickers for another two hours, and a yearning to stretch seeps into his limbs. Yet, Louis, seemingly impervious to the internal turmoil, remains ensconced in comfort, an unmoved figure in the silent theatre of anticipation.

Harry’s gaze sweeps across the walls plastered with a plethora of pictures. Each frame holds a snippet of history, frozen moments clamouring for his attention. The urge to unravel their stories tugs at him, but he remains seated. 

Throughout the night, Harry repeats his ritual – a battle between the mesmerising allure of the photos and the flickering screen. His eyes shift from TV to wall, wall to TV, a silent conversation with the captured memories surrounding him.

Time seems to blur as Harry navigates this nocturnal routine. The pictures become portals to unknown times, compelling him to study the details etched within each frame. He doesn’t sense the passage of time, only the persistent rhythm of his cyclical gaze.

As dawn approaches, Harry recalls the soft glow of the sun peeking through the window. The room, once shrouded in darkness, yields to the early morning light. Fatigue finally claims him, and with a surrendering sigh, he succumbs to the gentle embrace of slumber, leaving the pictures and the TV to keep their silent vigil in the room.

🚨

Opening his eyes, he senses a newfound lightness. A stiff groan reaches his ears, and as he looks up, Louis stands before him, stretching with arms raised.

“Morning.” he greets, Louis instantly jolts at the deep husky voice, reminding him of the task ahead.

“Cuppa?” he suggests for a brief distraction.

“Yes, please. Strong coffee.”

“Hope you’re into black coffee; the house has been empty, no milk.” he remarks with a hint of humour.

“Honestly, any coffee will suffice right now.”

As Louis heads to the adjoining kitchen, Harry rises and quickly checks his phone. No calls or messages from Liam, at least that’s a relief. However, a message from Niall piques his interest.

 “Any updates? By the way, did you hex Liam or something? He won’t shut up about you vanishing for this long. He understands why and all, and we hope all is okay on that front, but work is stressing him out. The Canada gig for next year has fallen through, and merch sales have taken a nosedive. Please call him before I drown in the sea of his melodrama. I’m waving a lifebuoy here H, but it’s made of sarcasm, and I think he’s allergic.”

He initially wants to laugh, but he must ring him soon, Liam, when having a meltdown is rather sufferable and he can understand Niall’s concern. For now, he opts to sit the phone back down on the small table. He recalls Louis mentioning the bathroom down the hall last night, and promptly rises to relieve himself. He returns shortly, unprepared for what awaits in the lounge. Louis, seated once more, holds not just coffee but an array of various items in his hands.

This is it. He can feel it, a strong and accepting sensation that permeates from head to toe. The gravity of what’s happening halts him entirely.

For a brief moment, the thought crosses his mind. Should he just flee? Does he truly want to confront this? Liams words from weeks ago flood his memory because, yes, this is all hard, physically and emotionally and now he wonders how the hell Louis has kept himself together the entire time, especially when these emotions feel so deep and painful.  

Despite yearning for it, the realisation comes to light that in any given instant, his entire life could undergo a profound transformation – his job, his journeys, his circle of friends, and perhaps even the trajectory of his entire career.

After a moment’s hesitation, Harry slowly eases back into his seat beside Louis. The first thing that catches his eye is a baby book, silently emphasising the impending conversation.

“ My whole world is contained inside this book, Saxons first words, first steps, first time he slept through the night, every little cherished memory a parent locks away in their heart to remember for eternity. It’s all in here.” 

Being a parent is being present for your child. To stay strong and supportive through the tantrums, tears and all the milestones. It means loving your child that you created more than you could possibly love yourself. You would save them, risk your own life for them, and even die for them if need be. Parenting is not a burden, it is unconditional love. It is not a job, parenting is to be cherished, it is a privilege. 

Harry might not have gotten it in the same way he had experienced it, but Louis now recognises that whatever this leads to, whatever trials or heartache may come from all this, that Harry deserves it all. 

Louis… hands him the book .

Harry carefully turns the first page of the baby book, and there, like the opening scene of a novel, lies a parent information page. The lines meant for both parents to fill in details are starkly uneven – one side pristine, and detailed, while the other remains conspicuously vacant. It’s a visual representation of an incomplete story, a silent testament to a narrative that never fully unfolded….until now .

Louis fidgets anxiously, his normally steady hands betraying the turmoil within. Each word seems to struggle its way out as if carrying the weight of unspoken fears. His eyes dart around, unable to meet Harry’s gaze directly, seeking solace in the mundane details of the room. A bead of sweat forms on his forehead, a testament to the intensity of the emotions coursing through him.

His voice, usually firm, wavers slightly, biting his lower lip, a subconscious attempt to ground himself. As he proceeds, his breath catches at times, adding a staccato rhythm to his sentences. The vulnerability etched across his face is palpable, the weight of his confession almost tangible. It’s a delicate dance between wanting to express and fearing the repercussions, and every gesture, every pause, speaks volumes about the emotional storm brewing within Louis.

“ You have never asked me who the other father is, Harry.” 

True to an internal pact, Harry has refrained from probing, honouring his commitment to let Louis unfold this chapter on his own terms. Despite the urge to declare that he already discerns the truth, that he senses a profound connection with this child already, Harry remained reserved.

“ It wasn’t my place to ask, Lou.”

Louis’ heart echoes with each thud, the resonance of Detective Reign’s advice haunting him.

‘ It’s better if he knows.’

“He has little brown curls, and gorgeous green eyes, dimples marking each cheek, and a birthmark on his hand.” Louis begins. 

Harry’s eyes welled up with tears, mirroring the shimmering pain in Louis’ voice. Louis rises slowly, the desperate need to get away tugging at him. Harry’s hands tremble, fingers reaching out and then recoiling, as if trying to grasp the reality slipping through his emotional grasp at Louis dropping the hints.

“I’m sorry, I just need a minute.” Louis trembles. 

Louis stumbles out of the room, the floor creaking as he exits. Outside, he collapses, knees buckling beneath the emotional burden. His breaths come in ragged gasps, each exhale a painful release of sorrow. In the quiet corridor, tears flowed unchecked, the depth of sadness etched on his face because this was difficult. Louis struggles with his desire not to inflict pain on Harry. The weight of potential disappointment, the fear of earning Harry’s resentment or, even worse, the prospect of never seeing him again. 

The torment plays out in the furrow of Louis’ brow.  The fear of hurting the one he cares for forms a knot in his stomach, tightening with every passing moment. The silent plea for understanding, the desperate wish for acceptance, is evident in the vulnerability etched across Louis’ face. Finally everything manages to  subside a little as he regains his composure, it’s just too bad that the battlefield between fear and honesty continues to wage a silent war.

Harry is left in stunned silence. Despite being aware of the truth, hearing Louis attempt to articulate it sends a sharp pang through his heart in a way he never imagined. A momentary paralysis grips him, a fear that threatens to overwhelm.

His gaze darts around the room, searching for something.  Finally, his eyes lock onto the object he desired, and with a heavy exhale, he retrieves it. 

Returning tentatively, Harry observes the tear-streaked face and damp cheeks. All he desires at this moment is to wrap Louis in a comforting hug. Gesturing to the seat beside him, he offers a silent reassurance.

Louis complies, taking the seat, and in an unexpected twist, Harry, with an air of suspicious nervousness, hands back the book. Louis, still overcome with his emotions, directs his gaze downward. It’s only then that he notices the transformation that has taken place.

The once empty page now stands engraved with the intricate details of Harry’s life. His name, address, date and place of birth, his parents’ details, his height – every facet meticulously filled in.

In the grip of panic, tears cascade down Louis’ face, a torrent of raw emotion.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I wanted to tell you. I searched for you, I swear I did. Now, I’ve lost our baby, Harry. I messed up. He’s gone, and I don’t feel like he’s ever coming back.”

The weight of Louis’ words becomes a tipping point for Harry. With an intensity born from a surge of heartfelt emotion, Harry seizes Louis, pulling him forcefully into his arms. The embrace is not just a physical closeness but a desperate attempt to bridge the emotional gap that has finally closed between them.

“Hey… shh, it’s alright, Louis. Look at me. Listen.”

Gently tilting Louis’ chin up with his index finger, Harry watches as Louis’ lip continues to quiver.

“You are not to blame here, Lou. This is not on you. I searched for you too, for a very long time. You had no way of telling me, I understand that.” 

Harry takes a breath, relieved that Louis is listening. 

“Did you mean to lose him? Did you deliberately not watch him, Louis? Did you tell someone to take him?”

There’s a brief flash of anger on Louis’ face that dissipates quickly, when Harry clears up the misunderstanding.

“ No? Then Louis, please listen. Saxon’s disappearance, it’s a tragedy. You mustn’t carry this burden as if it’s your fault. It’s not, love. Sometimes life throws the cruellest challenges at us, and this… this isn’t something you could have controlled. I know it hurts, but blaming yourself won’t bring him back. You’re not at fault, Louis.”

Sometimes you don’t realise the weight of something you have been carrying until you finally feel its release. 

Louis crumbles, as he breaks down and cries, tears cascading onto Harry’s chest as he violently rocks back and forth. The intensity of his crying raises concerns for Harry, fearing Louis might be spiralling beyond his control. Harry’s hands move with a rhythmic grace, rubbing Louis’ back as he repeatedly encourages him to breathe and relax.

The person you love should be the anchor for your soul. They ought to offer the safest haven, allowing you to be unapologetically yourself in a world already burdened with challenges. In that person, you discover not just a companion but a sanctuary of peace.

For Louis, that person is Harry.

As the minutes pass and a heavy silence settles, Louis tenderly pulls back, using the side of his thumb to wipe away the remnants of his tears. Harry cradles his cheek, his head sinking onto Louis’ forehead in a gesture of shared grief.

“Our son is beautiful, Louis. So incredibly beautiful.”

Louis allows his head to seek refuge against Harry’s chest one last time, a transient sanctuary in the sea of anguish. Yet, with a weighted exhale, he disentangles himself, rising to stand. 

The relief washes over him like wind making nice waves, though he’s acutely aware that there are many more conversations to endure about this revelation. At this moment, all he craves is any form of support he can muster.

“I’m usually on my way to the police station by now. I go there every day, you know, just in case something has changed.”

The words land like a blow, the pain on Louis’ face intensifying as he envisions the flashbacks Harry must be dealing with – the fear of being pushed away again.

“Do you want to join me? We can grab something to eat along the way.”

A bittersweet smile graces Harry’s lips.

“Yes, of course. There’s nothing I want more. Just try and stop me.” The softness of the smile doesn’t mask the depth of yearning and determination in Harry’s eyes, a silent vow to stand by Louis’ side despite the haunting shadows of whatever repercussions may lie ahead. 

Life has a very odd way of making things work out in the end, and sometimes, a happy ending…just takes time . 

🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Like, c’mon a happy ending already? 

You guys should know me better than that by now 🤣

Anyway, thoughts on the chapter?

Was the dreaded conversation alright?

Chapter 9- A Suspect?

A/N

I sincerly apologise for the long delay in updating. The kids are still on school break, so ive been really busy.

This is a 13.3k word chapter and there’s lots to unpack.

Also, eek, I see Louis Tomlinson again this week.

🚨

Underneath a growing cold overcast sky, Harry and Louis pulled into the police station parking lot, navigating through a maze of cars, the tires crunching on the gravel.

Louis steered the car expertly, a well-practised routine evident in every turn. Louis rolled into a parking spot, choosing it with the precision of someone who had done this countless times before.

“Only two reporters out the front, so that’s good at least.”

Louis processed Harry’s attempt at comfort by fixating his eyes on the steering wheel. Harry intended solace, trying to assure Louis the good news of not having to navigate the tumult of the press. Yet, to Louis, the notion of “only two reporters” resonated differently—it felt like a subtle admission of waning interest, a silent acknowledgment that the world was slowly forgetting about his missing son.

No one was really caring anymore.

“Yeah, this entrance keeps us under the radar. It’s not meant for the public, but Garcia insisted I use it when the media chaos first escalated. Until they lose interest completely, I’ll stick to this route. They tend to give up after about ten minutes if they don’t catch a glimpse of me. Here’s hoping they’ll clear out soon.”

Exiting the car, they approached the entrance, where Louis instinctively led Harry through the back door.

As they made their way down the corridor, Louis exchanged nods with officers passing by, a silent acknowledgment of familiarity. Harry trailed behind, absorbing the surroundings – a symphony of office sounds, distant phone conversations, and the occasional shuffle of paperwork.

As they made their way through, Harry observed, a somber realisation settling in that Louis knew this place like the back of his hand – the routine, the faces, the unchanging process. An overwhelming sadness struck Harry then as he realised that Louis had repeated this ritual daily, yet the outcome always remained the same.

They arrived at the check-in desk, Louis nodding to the receptionist, who acknowledged him with a practised smile. Louis efficiently provided the necessary information as they both watched the receptionist’s fingers move promptly across the keyboard. Harry’s glance towards Louis revealed a stoic expression, his eyes reflecting a history of navigating these familiar bureaucratic channels.

Louis deciphers from the melancholy expression on the lady’s face that today brings no deviation from the usual.

“No news, I presume?”

In response, the lady responds with a gentle, sorrowful smile.

In this space of routine and monotony, Harry recognized the toll it had taken on Louis. Each practised step, each familiar face, painted a silent picture of a man who had grown accustomed to the unwavering disappointment of “no news.”

Descending down towards the primary front entrance, Louis approached the domain of where to find Reign or Garcia.

The abrupt transformation in atmosphere from being subdued near the rear of the station to the bustling at the front, became vividly apparent upon their entry into the chaotic scene.

This part of the station was filled with frenetic energy, due to an incident near the supermarket that turned the station into a hive of movement. People hurried around, engaged in animated conversations, their voices blending into a collective hum. Amidst the commotion, Louis discerned the familiar figure of Detective Reign. Weaving his way around, Reign approached with purpose when he noticed Harry was present.

“Nice to see you again, Tomlinson.”

Detective Reign offered his greeting but it was clear to Louis he was searching for an answer just by the inquisitive nature upon his face, and Louis already knew the question.

“Yes, he knows.” Louis acknowledged.

Reign replying with a nod, shifted his focus to Harry, his gaze boring a steadiness that fixated on Harry with a determined precision.

“We’ll need to conduct a formal interview now, if you don’t mind. However, we’re quite inundated this morning.” he explained, his words punctuated by the loud activity surrounding them.

However, fate, ever mischievous in its dealings with these two, orchestrates a twist in the narrative. Officer Llyod saunters into the foyer, casting a scrutinising gaze over Louis and Harry. A surge of disdain wells within Louis as he contemplates ripping the gum from the obnoxious officer’s mouth. The origins of this animosity elude him, but he can’t ignore the palpable dislike radiating from him.

Louis bristles at the enthusiastic and smug tone as Officer Llyod proudly informs Reign that the interview room is now available. The clash of personalities amplifies in the air, leaving Louis simmering with silent frustration.

“Room two is ready for you, boss. Officer Goulding and I just cleared out. I understand you’ve been eager to have a conversation with Mr. Styles, so the room is at your disposal.“ Officer Llyod announced, his tone carrying a mix of formality and a hint of sly satisfaction.

Reign turned his attention back to the front desk, leaning over to retrieve a clipboard, his hand seamlessly finding his pen in his pocket. With a subtle quirk of his brow, he remarked.

“Well, Mr. Styles, I seem to have a free moment, would you mind?”

Harry’s eyes flickered between Louis and the detective. Despite the appearance of apprehension, it’s not so much reluctance as it is nerves that dance beneath his surface. Just like Oli, the presence of law enforcement had a peculiar way of making him jittery, an inexplicable discomfort.

“Ah, sure.” he responded, his words carrying a subtle undertone of unease as he reluctantly acquiesced to the impending conversation. The amalgamation of emotions played across his features, creating not only anxiety but also curiosity in the face of the detective’s request.

Louis smiles and mouths a silent ‘ I’m sorry.’ as Harry and Reign begin to walk off. But Reigns’ phone begins to ring, halting their movements. It’s silent as Reign takes the call uttering words like ‘ I can do that ’ and ‘ Alright, be there soon ’ before ending his call.

“ Saved by the bell Styles. I’m really sorry but it appears I’m required somewhere else urgently. We are going to have to postpone this for a couple of days.”

There’s a large part of Louis that feels relieved by that for some reason as he glances around the room, absorbing the surroundings.

“Harry, we should make our way out and let the officers get back to their duties.” Louis suggests, a subtle cue for departure.

Detective Reign, silencing the persistent static on his walkie-talkie, concurs, acknowledging the practicality of the idea.

“I’ve got to head off, but I’ll keep in touch if anything comes to light, okay Louis? Have a good day.”

In a seamless motion, Detective Reign is joined by another officer, their purposeful strides carrying them toward the exit. The subtle orchestration of their departure unfolds in the rhythm of synchronised movements.

“I’m just going to use the restroom real quick.” Louis announces as he nods down towards the corridor, signalling his intention to step away momentarily.

“I’ll wait outside.” Harry adds, slipping his hands into his pockets with a casual gesture. As he begins to make his way towards the door, Louis remains oblivious to the faint ring of Harry’s phone, the sounds of the station momentarily drowning out the subtle melody of an incoming call.

Louis lingers only briefly in the bathroom, his mind consumed with contemplating the days unfolding events. As he stares in the mirror he ponders about their plans for the day. The unresolved questions hang in the air—Is Harry preoccupied? Are there obligations, people, or work that demand his attention?

As Louis nudges the weighty glass door ajar, he is hit with the harsh sunlight. In the distance, Harry finally comes into focus.   However, as he draws near, Louis spots Harry wrapped in an embrace with a woman who he now identifies as his mother. When he steps into their vicinity, both Harry and Anne sense his presence. In a sudden, bone-chilling stillness, Louis’ steps falter, a ghostly pallor washing over his face, his eyes widening with dread. The relentless thud of his racing heart seems to be drowning out the world around him.

“ Lou?” Harry asks, concerned.

Suddenly, Louis takes three rapid steps backwards, a desperate retreat from an unseen terror. The air becomes charged with tension, leaving Harry on the edge of panic.

“Lou, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” Harry presses again.

As Harry follows his line of sight, a chilling recognition settles in his chest. Louis’ heart, moments ago brimming with excitement for their day together shatters into a million delicate shards. In this crystalline moment of realisation, Harry feels a heavy blend of stupidity and regret.

A surge of internal turmoil floods Harry as he witnesses the visible panic in Louis’ eyes. There is so much unspoken anguish, and it cuts deep because, in this instance, Harry and his mother are the unwitting architect of the pain unravelling before him. He scorns himself internally, the shock grips him, tearing at the fabric of their new found connection, and in the silent void between them, the ache intensifies.

“ Harry…you…you…“ Louis stammered, the weight of disbelief heavy in his words, struggling to articulate the tangled emotions within.

“You own a fucking black Range Rover!”

In his eagerness to connect with Louis the previous night, Harry now painfully admits an oversight. The rush of excitement blinded him to the need to instruct his mother to discreetly park the Range Rover, ensuring Louis would hear the news from him directly when the time was right.

Shock had veiled Louis’ voice, casting his words into an almost hushed disbelief. Harry, sensing the need to hurry and clarify, rushes forward to dispel any misconceptions, his voice earnest and apologetic.

“Lou, I apologise. It’s not mine, it’s my mum’s car. I’m so sorry that you had to find out this way. I was going to tell you, but I forgot and then she showed up here in it and there wasn’t time.”

Yet, as Harry approaches, seeking resolution, Louis’ current thoughts result in a harsh step backwards. The space between them widens, a physical manifestation of irrational thinking.

“Wait… Lou…”

At that moment, Harry is struck by a Louis he has never encountered before. The usual confidence fades, replaced by an unsettling shakiness.

Louis… is genuinely frightened—fear across his face in every way possible, an emotion Harry never anticipated seeing directed at him.

Louis….was fucking scared of him.

“ C’mon Lou you know me, dont-”

“ That’s the thing isn’t Harry, I DON’T know you. WHERE IS HE!”

Harry’s mind reels in disbelief, taking a tentative step back. Louis’ words feel like a knife was being twisted in an open wound and he can’t fathom the accusation. Does Louis seriously believe he’s taken their child? The tension hangs thick in the air, a swirling mix of hurt and confusion.

“ Louis, listen to me, please. It’s not what it looks like, I don’t know where Saxon is, my mum just coincidentally owns a range rover. It’s a common vehicle, lots of people have them. Louis, look at me please.”

Louis looks up at him, his demeanour softening as he looks at Harry’s desperate composure.

“ I don’t know where he is, but we will find him, Lou.” 

In a stroke of impeccable timing, Garcia emerges from the front door.

“Mrs. Twist, thank you for arriving promptly. Please, if you would like to follow me.”

Louis observes as Anne bestows a gentle smile upon him before turning her attention to Harry and making her way towards the entrance of the station.

Louis couldn’t believe what the fuck was happening.

With a final glance at Harry, he pivots and strides towards his own car, igniting the engine and driving away solo. Ordinarily, he’d head back to his mother’s place, but today, he diverts to a destination he hasn’t visited in a while.

🚨

As he steps into the playground, he’s met with surreptitious glances from onlookers—pity and judgement intermingling. Familiar with such reactions, he does his best to disregard them. Reign had ingrained the do’s and don’ts of navigating social interactions, preparing him for these moments, so he feels confident that he will be okay.

He positions himself across from the area where he saw his son for the last time, refraining from entering the gates that seemed to have swallowed up his precious child. His gaze fixates on the bench where he once sat, now occupied by a mother breastfeeding as she observes her daughter at play.

That simple, ordinary scene serves as a painful reminder of what Louis should have been doing those many weeks ago.

“Are you the man whose son is missing? Have you found him yet? Why didn’t you watch him? How do you lose kids? Why don’t you just call him?” The young boy, not older than 7, appears out of nowhere and bombards Louis with a hundred and one questions.

Louis, taken aback, looks down at the boy.

“I…excuse me, what?”

The sound of quick shuffling feet draws attention to a young woman pushing a pram with twins.

“Oh my god, please excuse my son. He has no mouth filter; please forgive him. He’s only young and doesn’t understand. Benjamin Lee, you apologise right this instant to this man.”

The kid, seemingly oblivious to the hurt he has caused, grins at Louis. “Sorry, mister. Do you have any other children? Is that why you’re here, or did you lose them too?”

“BEN!!!” The mother interjects, attempting to rein in her son’s unintentionally insensitive comments.

The woman is mortified, that Louis can tell as she grabs her son forcefully by the hand.

“ I’m really sorry.” She mutters as she begins her departure.

A sad smile graces his lips as the mother and child venture away, leaving Louis staring at the dirt beneath him. Why is he subjecting himself to this agony? The air is filled with the sounds of children’s laughter, parents engaged in conversation, and prams being pushed. He shuts his eyes, immersing himself in the symphony of life around him.

Twenty minutes elapse, and when he opens his eyes, tears stream down his face at a languid pace. The realisation hits him in the face – he no longer feels like a parent. It’s been ages since he crafted kiddy meals, assisted in potty training, or read a bedtime story. He feels useless, he doesn’t feel…whole anymore.

In Louis’ heart, the essence of being a daddy has become nothing but a distant memory.

His gaze fixates on the ground, and though there’s nothing remarkable about observing dirt, his eyes remain captivated by a solitary ant scurrying about. That is, until a small, round blue ball gradually enters his field of vision, connecting with his foot. The impact forces him to glance up, and, oh, how he wishes he hadn’t.

Approaching him is a boy of similar age to Saxon, brown hair tousled by the wind, hurtling towards him with arms open wide. In that poignant instant, every part of Louis seems to awaken, crumble and die in unison, as if, in that brief, hopeful squint, he could catch a glimpse of the fading echoes of Saxon running back to him.

“Ball, please?” The innocent request lands like a heavy stone, deepening the ache in Louis’ heart.

Louis is transfixed, rendered momentarily speechless by the sight of the boy, sharing the same dimples that tug at his own memories. It takes him a fleeting moment, but eventually, he summons the strength to respond. Bending down, he lifts the ball, cradling it gently into the boy’s hands.

“There you go.”

A small, grateful smile lights up the boy’s face. “Fanks.” he says before scampering back towards the play area.

The weight of the encounter settles heavily on Louis. This is proving even more difficult than he initially anticipated.

He rises, scanning the area with a futile hope that his little boy will materialise out of thin air. Emotion creeps in, making his eyes misty, and the onlookers’ whispers become a haunting soundtrack.

A sudden instinct propels him to turn around, and he collides with someone whose arms catch him in an embrace. Without a second thought, he accepts the warmth, craving the comfort it provides. He doesn’t bother to identify the person; all he needs is the solace offered by the anonymous arms. As he finally pulls away, he looks up to see the familiar face of Oli.

Louis leans back in to hug him, breaking the silence, his voice revealing vulnerability.

“How did you know I was here?”

The look Oli gives him conveys the answer, a silent acknowledgment of someone who begins with the letter H.

“He reached out, mentioning you might need a friend. I dialled your mum, found out you weren’t there, and your place seemed off-limits. This was the last option. Want to join me at my place? We can talk if you need to unload about Harry, or we can just unwind and relax. It’s your call.”

Louis nods, the weight on his shoulders lifted by Oli’s understanding.  His eyes linger on the playground for a final, futile search.

With a heavy sigh, he follows Oli, leaving behind nothing but horrible memories and a never ending ache in his heart.

🚨

“Feeling hungry? I can order pizza, Chinese, or maybe whip up some pasta?” Oli suggests, offering culinary alternatives.

Louis eases into Oli’s couch. “How about a homemade feast? Boiled vodka, roasted vodka, with a side of vodka.” he deadpans, a hint of dark humour in his voice. Oli chuckles, shaking his head with a semi half-smile, and exits the room.

As Louis contemplates the menu of spirits, his phone vibrates, signalling two messages. One from Harry and another indicating a voicemail. He lifts the device to his ear, tuning into the message that awaits him.

Detective Garcia (voicemail):

“Louis, it’s Detective Garcia. I hope you’re holding up okay. I wanted to give you a courtesy call before we officially speak later. We have an update on Mrs Twists Range Rover. Good news - she’s been cleared. Anne had bought the vehicle just a week ago, and we have receipts to back it up.

We even called the dealership; turns out, the car had been on the lot for at least four months before the sale. So, Anne’s car is in the clear. I’m sorry I didn’t get to warn you prior. It was all a rush. I know how upset you would have been, and I thought I should inform you quickly of the outcome under the current circumstances. I’ll fill you in with more details when we talk later. Take care of yourself and try to get some rest. I’ll check in with you soon.”

Louis can finally breathe again, a tangible release of tension, just as Oli re-enters the room, brandishing a substantial bottle of Smirnoff and two shot glasses. With deftness, Oli pours the vodka, Louis intently observing the amber liquid filling the glasses. As the glasses are handed over, Oli raises his own, and they clink together in a resonant toast.

“To never giving up.” Oli declares the sentiment something that Louis really needed to hear, a quiet promise and commitment to find the little boy who had not only entrenched himself in the father’s heart, but also carved a place in the godfather’s as well.

“I do wish you’d have something to eat, though.” Oli urges.

Louis, as serious as can be, meets Oli’s gaze and responds, “Okay, you’re right. I have the perfect condiment, how about a slice of lemon?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Louis downs the shot, and Oli witnesses a side of his friend he recalls but hasn’t seen in years. Louis has abstained from alcohol since the discovery of his pregnancy, and now, Oli is a little worried at the way Louis is already reaching for another.

The liquor is about to go straight to Louis’ head.

Louis continued to down drink after drink, each sip serving as a vessel for the release of his troubles. Oli, positioned nearby, maintained a vigilant watch, occasionally lifting his own glass with feigned sips to preserve a clear mind amid the alcohol-laden atmosphere.

As the night unfolded, Louis ranted passionately. Oli listened intently, absorbing every word, watching as his friend oscillated between laughter and tears. Despite knowing that excessive drinking wouldn’t solve the underlying issues, Oli recognized the importance of granting Louis this one night—an evening to purge the pain that clung to him.

Throughout the night, Oli played the role of a vigilant guardian, intercepting Louis three times as he attempted to dial Detective Reign, the embodiment of his frustration for not locating his son. Oli also thwarted Louis from reaching out to Harry, preventing potential heated exchanges fueled by anger and the desperate need for answers. Little did Oli know, amidst his watchful interventions, that one message to Harry had slipped through, an unfiltered outburst.

The words on that message cut through the alcohol-laden haze:

“Saxon may look like you, but I hope he doesn’t grow up to become like you.”

It was a sharp arrow shot in the dark, an expression of anger, alcohol-fueled impulsivity, and the profound hurt that Louis harboured from Harry’s deceit. The message was sure to add another layer to the already complex relationship between the two men, new re-acquainted parents, who were both grappling with the unbearable pain of losing their child.

The unexpected message to Harry, unbeknownst to Louis at the time, carried a sting that burrowed deep into Harry’s emotions, leaving an unanticipated and profound hurt in its wake.

🚨

Louis had returned back to his mother’s house seeking any sort of peace he could get after enduring the last few full on days. After a brief four day respite, he made his way back to his own dwelling, only to be greeted by a colossal bouquet of withered roses, evidence of the passage of time since Harry had left them there at his front door. Despite the petals’ demise, Louis couldn’t resist attempting to inhale a fragrance that lingered only in memory.

As he walked towards he outdoor bin to dispose of them, a familiar annoyance manifested in the form of his old mate from next door… George . Louis, lost in the moment, grudgingly tolerated the untimely intrusion.

“You’d think your focus would be on finding your son, not entertaining daily visits from a questionable man who keeps showing up every day. Shame on you, but somehow I’m not really surprised.”

The disdainful words pierced Louis’ ears, a surge of anger cursing through him.

“You son of a bitch!”

Louis teetered on the edge, dangerously close to jeopardising his search for his son with potential legal troubles. The prospect of adding assault against a senior loomed, but just as he was about to cross that line, a restraining hand gripped his shoulder, but it wasn’t enough to stop his retort back.

“ I heard what you said about me on the news, you are miserable George, do you hear me? MISERABLE! God, no wonder you live alone, no woman or heaven forbid a man wouldn’t survive being around you! FUCK YOU GEORGE, FUCK YOU!”

“ Well I may be, but the difference between us young man, is I never lost any of my children. Back in my day-”

“ That’s it arsehole, old cunt or not, I don’t care!!!”

Louis is seconds from jumping the fence before he feels that firm hand grabbing his own, accompanied by a now familiar voice.

“Please, I believe I speak for both of you; it’s time to walk away. This isn’t the right time nor the appropriate place. Louis, let’s go.” The mediator stepped in, pulling Louis back from the precipice of confrontation.

As George retreats straight back inside his home, Louis takes a few deep breaths finally calming down as he reaches his own front door.

Louis nervously motioned for Harry to step inside, the door creaking reluctantly. The room became an intimate witness to the complexity of their awkwardness.

Louis gestured towards the sofa, inviting Harry to sit. Keys jingled as both men set them down on the table. As they settled into a shared silence, the room felt burdened with unsaid words and the residue of the recent tension between them.

Louis, fidgeting with a loose thread on the couch, hesitated before breaking the heavy silence. “Garcia called the other day.” he admitted, his voice low, displaying his embarrassment. Harry just continues to stare at the wall, his eyes zoned in on a picture of Saxon as he continues to listen.  

“Anne’s car, turns out it’s all in order. Recent purchase, receipts and everything.” His gaze fixated on the coffee table, avoiding the intensity of Harry’s eyes which had now shifted towards him.

Harry’s gaze softened with understanding as he replied in a low, comforting tone. 

“I get it, Lou. I can only imagine what ran through your mind. And you were right to be upset with me, I should have told you about the car. I just didn’t want you to freak out and, look, I just want to be there for you. I don’t want you to be scared of me, or feel the need to push me out. I wanna help you, Lou. I want to help look for our son.”

Harry’s raw honesty leaves Louis feeling remorseful; he berates himself because what had he been thinking? Harry did not take their child. He feels like such a prick.

“ The text message hurt though.”

No amount of apologies can ever undo the pain caused by hurtful words. Louis watches Harry whose eyes still haven’t left the photos.

“ I didn’t mean it. I was drunk and angry and that’s no excuse, I know. I should never have said that. I’m not going to say that I didn’t intend to hurt you because I did. But let it be known Harry, there was no sincerity behind it. I’m really sorry.”

Upon his admission, Louis maintains a thoughtful silence. He refrains from expressing the words he longs to say, apologies, encouragement about fatherhood, and how much he had missed Harry these last few days, acknowledging that, for now, this quietude is more bearable than the alternative.

So…he remains silent.

The room held a heavy air, laced with regret and the slow mending of understanding. Harry, finally meeting Louis’ gaze, managed a hesitant half-smile. It was a fragile moment, but within it, the foundations of forgiveness began to take root.

Deep in contemplation, Harry grapples with the mystery of why Louis’ text, an unexpected breach in his thick-skinned demeanour, had left him so broken.

In response, Harry manages a restrained, “It’s alright, really.” His eyes tracked Louis who leaned forward to retrieve a neglected stack of mail that had accumulated over the week.

As Louis sifts through the assortment of bills, he can’t help but sigh with each item – the phone bill, the electric bill. However, it’s the last one that prompts an emotional reaction, compelling him to tear it open.

Concerned, Harry inquires. “You okay?” Louis sets the paper down on the table, rising to his feet and moving towards the spot Harry had been focused on earlier.

“I just really miss him.” Louis confides. Harry’s gaze lands down on the opened letter…. ‘ Saxon’s childcare bill’ now understanding the source of the emotional tug.

Harry rises from his seat and quietly approaches Louis.

“Can you tell me about him?” he asks, hopeful that he isn’t being pushy.

Sharing a look of complex pain, causes Louis to become emotional.  He gently motions towards a photograph capturing a moment that is frozen in time.

“This was taken four days before his first birthday. We made our way back to London, a faint glimmer of hope lingering within me that we still might find you. “ Louis recounts, his fingers tracing the contours of the image.

“I retraced the steps we took the night we met. Showed Sax that enchanting garden. It was nearing his birthday and I took this picture in front of Big Ben because it was his first time in London and you’d already missed so much of his first year. I clung to the belief that I could find you… and…I…”

There is a type of ache in his words that must be evident because Harry, sensing the depth of Louis’ feelings, instinctively pulls him into a comforting embrace.

“I searched for you too.” Harry confesses. “The night we crossed paths, I was meant to leave for LA the next morning, but I couldn’t. You were all that consumed my thoughts. You left me in a flutter of butterflies, and for days, I wandered those same streets. All I wanted was to be with you.”

Louis withdraws, a reflex against the intimacy. Allowing Harry to hold him this way is becoming a habit, a source of comfort he knows he is becoming too dependent on. Yet, he questions ‘ What’s the point .’ Harry’s inevitable departure for LA lingers, casting a shadow over any solace, making it feel like an exercise in futility, bracing for more impending heartache.

He clears his throat.

“ I really need a shower.”

Harry hesitates, unsure if Louis is subtly signalling his desire for alone time. In response, he instinctively reaches for his keys.

“Oh, you are leaving?”

Harry freezes, his grip on the keys tightening.

“Um, I mean, if I’m in the way and you need some time alone or…”

“Please stay. It’s hard enough, as you already know. I could really use the company, unless, of course, you have other plans. In that case, feel free to go ahead.”

Louis starts to shed his shoes and discards his jumper, letting it drape over the edge of the lounge chair. His gaze shifts between the stairs and Harry, who has returned his keys to their place.

“Could you come with me?”

Harry’s smile widens, and Louis has to suppress a laugh, realising the enthusiasm stems from a crossed wire.

“Oh, god, Harry. I didn’t mean to the shower; I meant upstairs.”

Harry’s laughter tapers off when he realises Louis isn’t joining in, a disquieting expression replacing mirth on Louis’ face.

“It’s just, I hate going up there at all and-”

“Say no more.” Harry interjects, mirroring Louis’ serious tone.

As they ascend the stairs, Harry’s mind grapples with the puzzle of what he’s meant to do upstairs while Louis is in the shower.

Coming to a halt outside a door, Harry observes Louis glancing down the corridor, concluding the other room must be Saxon’s bedroom. Louis turns the handle, unveiling his own bedroom. It’s surprisingly tidy, and Harry had an inkling it would be.

“ Not going to lie here Harry, I’m very aware that I’ve made this very awkward. I’m just gonna grab these-” Louis reaches into one of his drawers and pulls out some clean clothes. “ And then I’m just gonna pop in there.” He says pointing to the bathroom. 

“ So I will just…”

“ Please sit and make yourself at home.”

For the past ten minutes, Harry has been idly scrolling through his phone. As he hears Louis turning off the water, his own phone rings, signalling the need for a private conversation. He leaves the room, softly shutting the door, and answers the call as he starts descending the stairs.

“Hi Frankie.”

Harry wraps up his call, the subdued conversation lingering in the quiet aftermath. As he climbs the stairs, he pauses at the door, rapping on it with a soft, tentative knock, a silent request for Louis’ readiness.

“Lou?”

No reply.

He gently nudges the door ajar, half-expecting Louis to be clothed by now. The room, however, tells a different story, as it appears deserted, leaving a palpable sense of uncertainty in its wake.

The only real valuable thing we possess in life is our intuition. Harry senses immediately where Louis is. Without any delay he walks down the corridor and yet as he reaches the door that he assumes is Saxons room he notices the door is still tightly closed. 

He turns around when he hears a noise to see Louis now right behind him.

“Don’t go in there.”

The words cut through the air with an unexpected sharpness, catching Harry off guard.

“I’m sorry. I thought you might have been in there. I wasn’t snooping, I promise. I was just searching for you.”

Louis shifts his gaze to the door, then back to Harry.

“ I made a promise to never go in there. Not until my little boy is back.”

In the quiet hallway, Harry considers the delicate balance between respecting Louis’ boundaries and offering support. Sensing the need for a change in atmosphere, he suggests

“Fancy a movie?”

Louis looks at Harry appreciatively, a silent acknowledgment of the offered companionship. They leave the corridor, the door to Saxon’s room standing closed but holding within it the painful promise to which neither of them wants to break.

“ Actually, give me a minute, I’ll meet you down there.”

Louis disappears into a nearby room, and the brief absence feels like an eternity for both of them. It’s not long before he descends the stairs, holding something in his hand. As Louis enters the lounge and starts to turn it on, Harry swallows hard, a realisation dawning as he comprehends what it is.

The TV screen flickers to life, and Harry finds himself gazing at it with a mix of emotions. Gratitude, perhaps? He’s not entirely sure how to label the complex array of feelings churning within him as he glances towards Louis, appreciating the small yet significant gesture.

“Louis, are you sure about this?”

The atmosphere thickens with a mix of nerves and anticipation as Louis, more anxious than excited, meets Harry’s gaze. Teary-eyed, he stands on the precipice of a momentous occasion – the first video glimpses of his child through the television screen.

“I always wanted you to know him, Harry. I’m just sorry it never happened.”

The words emerge choked, and as Harry reaches out, and just before their hands connect, he pauses.

“May I?”

Louis offers a semi-smile as Harry intertwines their fingers, the weight of the moment encapsulated in the touch that bridges them as a whole once more.

“ “Look at your pregnant belly. Pregnancy suits you, Louis.”

On the screen, a heavily rounded Louis lay on the hospital bed, gently rubbing his belly. Jay, leaned forward, planting a tender kiss on his forehead.

‘ I’m so proud of you, Louis. You are going to be an amazing daddy, I just know it.’

As Jay’s words peirced through the room, Louis subtly readjusted himself, the contrast between past expectations and the present reality hitting hard.

Harry squeezed his hand tighter.     Louis marvelled at Harry’s intense focus on the home videos. The depth of Harry’s engagement, absorbing every detail, was palpable. It tugged at Louis’ heart, a deep ache, as he sensed and saw in Harry’s expression the untapped potential of what a fantastic parent Harry could have been.

As the video transitioned to capturing the moment of Saxon’s arrival into the world, Louis etches the look in Harry’s eyes into his memory. The resonance of the baby’s cry permeates through the screen so perfectly, raw and authentic. Like a magnetic force, both men instinctively turn towards each other, a mutual acknowledgment washing over them that they needed one another.

Harry raises their joined hands, pressing a kiss to Louis’. Words remain unnecessary in that moment as Harry draws Louis closer.

Harry remains captivated, witnessing Saxon’s first steps, first Christmas, first birthday, along with the very first debut trip to the zoo. Louis, for a moment, believes Harry hasn’t even blinked yet. Then, the tape transitions to more recent footage of Saxon, and Louis feels like his lungs are being squeezed; suddenly, he can’t breathe.

‘ Daddy daddy, broom broom, look at my broom broom daddy look!”

That is the precise moment Harry feels Louis cry.

Crying is not the solution to your problems, but it is one of the first few steps towards recovery.

As the tape concludes, Louis sits up, casting his gaze upon Harry, who is wiping both his eyes with the palms of his hands. Harry pivots his entire body to face Louis, mirroring the exhaustion etched across Louis’ own features who looks just as drained as he does.

“No amount of words can explain how I feel right now.”

Louis catches the little quiver of Harry’s bottom lip, a shared vulnerability settling between them.

“He’s remarkably intelligent and pure  Louis, unbelievably sweet. To fathom that I missed witnessing all those moments, the hurt, Lou, it’s excruciatingly deep. Im fucking hurting.”

The weight of Harry’s words hangs in the air as he visibly wrestles with the pain of absence. In that poignant moment, he reaches out, his touch on Louis’ face carrying the weight of the years he lost, the void of not being there to witness the birth and growth of his own child. The pain etched across Harry’s face is a testament to the profound sorrow he feels at the irretrievable moments he can never reclaim.

“Thank you.” Harry utters in a hushed tone, laden with gratitude and an overwhelming sense of thankfulness.

Louis responds with a soft smile.

“You don’t need to thank me. I’m just glad you’ve seen a little bit of his life now and-”

“No. Not for the videos.” Harry interrupts, his eyes reflecting a depth of emotion that goes beyond the screen.

Harry, unable to hold Louis’ gaze, rises to his feet. He walks over to the window, fixating on the darkness outside.

“For keeping him, growing and giving him life, and a home full of love. For providing him with everything he needs, everything I wish I could have given. I’m so sorry for not being there for you, for him, for any of it. It breaks my heart, Louis, it truly does.”

Louis stands too and walks up behind him, the weight of the unspoken pain settling heavily in the room as they confront the void of the past.

“Don’t apologise; it wasn’t a choice either of us had a say in. You’re here now, and that’s what truly counts. Saxon… he would adore you, Harry.” Louis reassures, the bittersweet acknowledgment of what could have been resonating between them.

As Harry turns around, his eyes are red, his skin blotchy. Without a conscious thought or reason, Louis begins to lean in slowly. He never anticipated this, always wary of getting too close to Harry, but there’s an inexplicable power and comfort that draws him in.

The pace is unhurried as their mouths inch closer. Louis can feel his heart racing a million miles an hour. Harry’s hand, soft and gentle, runs up his back, coming to rest in the crook of his neck, creating a tender connection that defies explanation.

Their breaths mingle, each exhale a shared acknowledgment of the weight of the past and the fragility of the present. The room seems to hold its breath as their lips finally meet, a delicate fusion of longing and calmness.

Harry’s touch on the back of Louis’ neck acts like an anchor, grounding them still in the moment. It’s a kiss that speaks of understanding, a connection woven through time, and the ache of a life they had missed out on. The tenderness between them is a silent promise of shared warmth in the face of the cold realities they’ve weathered.

As they pull back, Louis gazes into Harry’s eyes, finding a reflection of both sorrow and newfound closeness. There’s a sense of calm, a temporary respite in the quiet exchange of emotions. In that intimate space, they linger, suspended between what was, what could have been and…..what could be?

“ Louis there’s something I need to-”

Harry’s phone begins to ring and if it wasn’t for him seeing the number and knowing it was Detective Reign, he would have let it go to voicemail.

“Excuse me, I need to take this call.” Harry mentions before politely addressing Detective Reign. “Hello?”

Louis, though Harry is not on speaker, catches snippets of the conversation, their proximity allowing him to overhear.

“I apologise for inconveniencing you at this hour, Mr. Styles. I was wondering if you could visit the station tomorrow around 9 am.”

“That will be no problem. I can do that. “

The detective concludes the conversation with a formal note of gratitude.

“Thank you for your understanding. See you then, and again, my sincere apologies for the late call.”

“ No worries at all. Good night Detective.”

He feels the need to tell Louis what was said but as he begins, Louis lets him know he had already heard it.

“ I’m sorry, you have to go through this, you know. It’s one of the reasons I prolonged telling you the truth about Saxon. It’s been really hard and I guess, I just thought I was kind of safeguarding you.”

There comes a point where the weight of apologies loses its relevance. Harry no longer desires to hear the word “sorry” escape Louis’ lips because, in truth, he doesn’t hold Louis accountable. There is currently nothing in this world that Louis could say or do to necessitate another apology from Harry’s perspective. The depth of understanding has surpassed the need for remorse, forging a connection that transcends the limitations of spoken regret.

“Louis, please, no more apologies. For actions taken, words spoken, or emotions felt – there’s no need, and I genuinely mean it. Promise me you won’t burden yourself with those words anymore, alright?”

Accepting that and offering a semi smile, Louis watches Harry gently place his phone down, and glances at the clock, its ticking resonating loudly in the silence. Although it’s only 8:40 pm, weariness has already settled in.

So Louis poses the question.

“Do you want to stay?”

Louis hadn’t given much thought to where Harry had been since the discovery of the Range Rover. Did he return to Holmes Chapel with his mother that day at the police station? However, George next door mentioned witnessing Harry’s daily visits while he was at his mother’s.

“I’d love to.” Harry responds, accepting the invitation with no hesitation.

As Harry starts to settle onto the lounge, Louis extends his hand, halting him, his gaze instinctively shifting towards the stairs.

The notion of leading Harry to bed feels peculiar, almost discordant, as it collides with the flood of memories engrained in that space. Upstairs, holds the essence of countless memories – the sleepless nights in the nursery, the indulgent sleep-ins with Saxon nestled beside him in his bed, and the playful moments during bath and bed time. It’s a tapestry woven with echoes of a life Louis once knew intimately.

Upstairs is a realm haunted by multifaceted ghosts for Louis, yet his bedroom, in particular, witnessed the shadows of countless tears.

It was the space where he grappled with the length of his pregnancy, facing the daunting reality of being alone and unsuccessful in locating Harry. It bore witness to the postpartum depression that enveloped him after Saxon’s birth.

Now, with Harry present, the desire to lay there together carries a bittersweet undertone. The room, once a sanctuary for solitude and tears, now holds the potential for a different kind of solace—a new chapter that blends past pain with the tentative promise of a hopeful future.

“Take me to bed.”

The words, seemingly innocent, carry a weight in Louis’ gaze that, while pure, hints at something more. There’s a seductiveness in his eyes, in his words, and Harry can’t shake the undercurrent. A disconcerting feeling settles in his stomach, a discord between the surface innocence and the unspoken complexities beneath, because in that moment, Harry had a very big decision to make.

Despite the logical voice urging him to decline, to stay in the lounge where the pull is less potent, Harry finds himself hesitating. Entering Louis’ bed, being close to him, it’s an entirely different challenge—one he fears he won’t navigate with success. The bed holds an allure that tugs at his resolve, setting the stage for a battle he’s not convinced he can win.

Harry also has Frankie to think about.

Yet, his heart sings a different tune. The man who has occupied his thoughts every single day for years, the blue-eyed angel who has seamlessly woven himself into countless dreams, remains a magnetic force. From their very first initial meeting to this very day, he’s the constant source of butterflies that stir a queasiness yet remain an undeniably enchanting presence.

As Louis begins walking to the stairs he turns back to see Harry still standing at the lounge.

“You coming?”

Making decisions can be an arduous task, particularly when confronted with the dilemma of choosing between the path you feel obligated to follow and the one that resonates with your deepest desires. The complexity lies in navigating the delicate balance between societal expectations and personal temptations, ultimately shaping the trajectory of your relationship.

“ Yep.”

The journey back to Louis’ room seems interminable, each step laden with a palpable tension that only intensifies upon entering. The discomfort in Harry’s demeanour becomes conspicuous, a weight seemingly borne from his own conscience.

Meanwhile, Louis seamlessly slips into his nightly rituals – the rhythmic cadence of tooth brushing, and a brief visit to the toilet to empty his bladder.

However, tonight’s narrative takes an unexpected turn. Louis, as if peeling away the layers of an enigma, begins to slowly undress. Each garment removed acts like an unfolding mysterious choreography that catches Harry off guard. The room, once a sanctuary of routine, now witnesses a small revolution as the ambiance is painted with a spectrum of emotions, leaving the lingering question of what these actions might signify.

“May I?” Harry’s requests, his hand gesturing towards the bathroom, seeking permission with a mix of vulnerability and politeness.

Louis, ever gracious, responds with an accommodating smile. “Yes, of course, I already told you, make yourself at home.”

The words allow the room to transform back into that pace of shared comfort, and thank god, because things had never felt this weird between them before.

As Harry retreats into the bathroom, the subtle click of the door closing marks a brief interlude.  Louis realises he hasn’t given Harry a towel and quickly navigates effortlessly to a cupboard, a repository of linens. With a graceful sweep, he retrieves a plush towel, the fabric unfolding like a promise of warmth.

He strides towards the door, drawn by the gentle cascade of water within. A deep breath steadies him as his knuckles tap softly, a soft percussion against the bathroom door.

“Come in” Harry’s voice permeates through the wood, and Louis eases the door open, noticing that the room is already cloaked in steam.

Without missing a beat, Louis instinctively reaches for the exhaust fan switch, a small detail overlooked by Harry. The whirring hum of the fan joins the rhythmic symphony of water droplets, restoring a balance to the atmosphere.

“I’ve got you a towel.” Louis announces, cautiously opening the door wider to place it within Harry’s reach on the basin. As he does so, an internal mantra echoes in his mind:

’ Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look.’

Harry, emerging from behind the shower curtain, hair glistening with droplets and suds trailing down his arm, acknowledges the gesture with a simple “Thanks.” In that fleeting moment, eye contact lingers, before Louis, aware of boundaries, turns on his heel and exits the steam-filled sanctuary.

As Harry finishes up his shower, Louis awaits on the bed with a composed demeanour taking a moment to absorb and try to work out what exactly was happening.

The paradox of emotions swirls within Louis in a surreal yet strangely organic way, an unusual interplay of this all feeling weird yet somehow natural. There seems to be a sort of nervous tension, creating an atmosphere that defies easy definition. Despite the unease, there’s also a serene sense of comfort that defies logic.

In the midst of this emotional tug-of-war, Louis grapples with the enigma unfolding before him. The pieces of this puzzle don’t align neatly in his mind, yet, amid the ambiguity, one undeniable truth emerges. Tonight, within the walls of this house, he finds a sense of re belonging, that somehow after weeks of not accepting this house anymore, Harry has managed to make him relax and feel warranted again.

His house was beginning to feel like a  home again. 

As the door inches open, revealing Harry’s post-shower presence, the room undergoes a sexual transformation, anticipation mingled with a surge of unexpected intensity. Louis, in that moment, battles an internal conflict. He shouldn’t allow his eyes to linger too long, but the sight before him is undeniably captivating. Harry, who was a vision of post-shower vitality, encourages Louis to fight against the instinct to stare, but the magnetic pull of Harry’s presence proves to be too hard.

Harry, who stood there shaking his hair, exudes an air of cleanliness and rejuvenation. The droplets on his skin shimmer in the soft glow caused by the lamp, accentuating the contours of his physique. The same pants cling to him, but the absence of a tee shirt unveils a canvas adorned with an array of tattoos, each a testament to stories etched beneath the surface.

Louis can’t help but marvel at the unexpected allure, momentarily forgetting the constraints of propriety. It’s not just the physicality; it’s the unabashed confidence, the effortless display that leaves Louis momentarily entranced.

Louis’ gaze inadvertently traces Harry’s torso, discovering the forgotten details of a physique adorned with tattoos.

In Louis’ mind, he had initially misconstrued Harry’s intentions, initially assuming Harry was merely teasing him. Little did he realise that poor Harry had to stand subjected to the sight of Louis comfortably seated in nothing but his boxers causing Harry’s mind to imagine all sorts of wonderful things.

“Are you all ready for bed now?“ Louis queries, and Harry, in response, offers a silent nod, a hint of uncertainty lingering in his eyes. A pause ensues, leaving Harry waiting, unsure of where he is expected to lay. The answer materialises when Louis takes his designated place on the left side, prompting Harry to follow suit.

As they navigate the process of settling into bed, a delicate dance of positioning unfolds.

In a subtle shift, Louis extinguishes the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. However, in that sudden absence of light, an undeniable tension resurfaces.

It’s awkward.

The contours of the room seem to morph into a landscape of desires and the uncharted territory of shared spaces, casting an uneasy veil. The boundaries between them, both physical and emotional, become stronger.

Both Louis and Harry are poised on the edge of a decision. Neither is certain whether to embrace the intimacy of cuddling or to create a physical distance. They opt for a tentative compromise, finding themselves lying side by side on their backs, each lost in their thoughts.

The brief interlude is broken when Louis breaks it with a soft utterance.

“Good night, Harry.”

His words carry a certain tenderness, and as if mirroring the sentiment, Louis rolls away. A subtle movement follows as he tucks the blanket up around his neck, creating a shield of comfort.

Harry can’t help but register a fleeting sense of disappointment, a realisation that the night might not unfold in the direction he had tentatively imagined.

The predicament lies in Harry’s habitual preference for sleeping on his left side, prompting him to turn over, facing the safety of Louis’ back—a palpable but comforting distance. The room falls into a profound stillness, a suspended moment that lasts for what feels like an eternity before Louis breaks the silence.

“They took away his car, the broom broom you saw in the video. They found it at the playground but kept it for evidence. I just want it back. I just want a part of him back.“ Louis utters, his voice carrying the weight of longing and loss.

In those words, the silence is shattered, replaced by the poignant revelation of a simple desire, a plea for the return of his loved one, someone cherished but still absent.

Harry doesn’t hesitate; he instinctively shuffles closer, his arm wrapping around Louis tightly, finding a resting place just above his navel.

“You will see him again, Lou.” Harry affirms, hoping to portray a blend of confidence and compassion. Louis, in response, turns his head slightly, attempting to discern Harry’s expression in the darkness of the room.

“Do you really think so? Bullshit aside, do you honestly think I will?” Louis questions, leaving Harry at a crossroads – does he offer the comfort Louis yearns for, or does he adhere to the call for unfiltered honesty?

“I dunno Lou I really don’t, but there’s a large part of me that truly believes you will.” Harry responds, his words carefully chosen, straddling the delicate line between providing hope and acknowledging the harsh reality ahead.

The longer Harry lays there in quiet contemplation, he couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the realisation that this was it - the culmination of everything he had craved, prayed for, dreamed of, and searched tirelessly for. With a gentle touch, he began caressing Louis’ arms, his movements imbued with a soothing tenderness that transcended mere sexuality.

His hand, guided by an instinctive tenderness, starts to trace gentle patterns on Louis’ arms. It’s a touch devoid of any sexual undertones, a caress that transcends physical desire and delves into the realm of pure solace. Each stroke is a whispered assurance, a silent affirmation that in this shared space, vulnerability is not only accepted but embraced. The room is already becoming a sanctuary where the language of touch communicates a depth of understanding and connection that words could only aspire to convey.

Perhaps, it is not merely the physical room they inhabit, but rather the ethereal connection that ignites when their souls intertwine. Two individuals, who, when in each other’s presence, discover a profound and life-altering love that fulfills the deepest desires of their hearts.

Harry recognises as he closes his eyes that Louis’ entire personality, heart, and soul is felt through soft cuddling, gentle touches, and falling and rising of breaths—he is a soft romance adorned with sheepishly spoken words and comforting warmth and Harry can only smile in the dark to himself as he appreciates that Louis is remarkably beautiful.

Yeah forget the four walls; The bedroom is just the backdrop; the real magic is definitely in the way they make each other feel.

It’s 5.15am when Harry begins to gently move about in the bed, his eyelids moving rapidly.

Harry appeared to be immersed in a dreamlike state where his senses became finely attuned to every nuance of Louis’ body. As his fingers delicately traced the contours of Louis’ skin, the sensation was nothing short of sublime, akin to caressing the velvety surface of a delicate petal. Each touch felt like silk, evoking a sense of tender intimacy, creating an intimate connection that transcended the boundaries of the dream.

The moonlight, like a celestial spotlight, highlighted the canvas of Louis’ back, illuminating the scattered freckles that spread across his skin, creating a heavenly map of uniqueness.

The fragrance that emitted from Louis filled Harry’s nostrils with a harmonious blend of vanilla and hints of citrus, creating an aromatic masterpiece that lingered around them. Each breath Harry took seemed to be infused with the essence of Louis, an intoxicating mix radiating warmth and comfort.

It was a dream where every sensory detail converged, creating a symphony of enchantment that left Harry utterly captivated by the breathtaking beauty of everything Louis Tomlinson. The moonlight, a delicate brush stroke across Louis’ figure, revealed the exquisite texture, like satin beneath Harry’s fingertips.

The dream unfolded and was played out like a romantic poetic ode as Harry’s lips delicately brushed against Louis’ shoulder, each kiss a testament to the tenderness that existed in the surreal reverie.

The soft moonbeams filtered through the curtains, casting a shadow on their entwined forms. The air was filled with the intoxicating symphony of their shared breaths, as Harry, enchanted by the allure of the moment, succumbed to temptation by pressing feather-light kisses along Louis’ neck, each one becoming heavier the more he inched closer towards his ear.

The warmth of their connection deepened as Harry, who is only human and driven by an irresistible longing, pressed himself softly against Louis’ back, seeking any sort of friction that promised to relieve the captivating tension of desire. In this dreamlike realm, where reality blurred with fantasy, the romantic ballet of touches and whispered affections unfolded like a sonnet, each perfected movement a stanza in the eloquent language of love.

With careful intent, Harry pushes his pants down just enough so that he can take a hold of himself and stroke to relieve some of the tension that had been building since earlier in the evening. The friction of his tight fist against the rock hardness of his cock felt amazing but not enough. On an upstroke the swollen head brushes against Louis’ lower back making him gasp at how delicious it felt. Continuing to brush himself against Louis he noticed his actions had caused a small moan to break free from him.

Abandoning all subtle movements, Harry then positioned himself down a little lower where he began rocking his cock in and out of the gap between Louis’ thighs, slipping the hard length of it along the underside of Louis’ balls and rubbing it against his cock. Harry, almost lost to the sensations that were pulsing through him, suddenly felt Louis pushing back against him, matching his movements and squeezing his legs together causing even more friction and making him groan out loud.

Harry is so fucking hard and desperate, all he wants to do is bury his cock in Louis’ tight passage but he refrains because shit, if he moves much more, he is sure he will come too soon and he doesn’t want this dream to end prematurely. But Louis had other plans and he suddenly moved his hands and pushed his pants down before reaching back to grab Harry’s hip pulling him closer into his arse as he pushed back hard.

The sinful moans from Louis coaxes Harry to run the head of his cock up against his gaping hole swirling it in circles, coating him with his precum, making it that much easier for him to slide right into Louis’ passage. A part of his brain is engaged and trying to tell him that this is a bad idea but another part of him, where all his blood has suddenly rushed too, thinks ‘fuck it’ it’s his dream so why not.

Harry is leaking pre cum at an impeccable rate, which at one point made Harry question whether he had already blown his load. He claps his thumb over his tip, hoping the pressure will allow him some more time but….

Louis, Louis makes a mistake. A big one. One that may well and truly shape their future.

Louis must be having the same dream as him because he slurs out.

“I’ve waited so long to feel you again Harry, don’t make me wait any longer.”

Any remaining restraint Harry had was soon thrown out the window.

In this dream of heightened sensuality, Harry found himself enthralled by Louis, the touch of his skin a revelation that rendered him powerless to resist the beauty before him. His hands descended down Louis’ back in a gentle caress until he reached his voluptuous ass, kneading it lightly before pushing two fingers through his clenched crack to tease his hole. This caused the breathy sounds to become moans, as Louis pushed himself onto Harry’s finger’s, who was powerless to suppress his own moan of desire at how tight Louis’ passage was.

Seeing how responsive Louis was to him, he brings his fingers to his mouth, his tongue instantly providing enough saliva to wipe upon Louis entrance acting as lubricant.

He couldn’t help but tease him as he entered two fingers immediately, remembering how Louis loved the stretch and burn. He began to pump his fingers in and out, feeling him open up to him. 

Just as he was about to enter a 3rd finger Louis moaned out “Feels so good.” as he pushed back on the fingers, fucking himself, taking what he clearly needed.

Without thinking Harry removed his fingers, whispering “ I’ve dreamt of this for so long, just give me a moment love, I know what you need, what we both need.” Harry grabbed his aching, rock hard cock and rubbed the leaking head against the hole to give it some more lubrication.

Louis moaned at the pressure against his hole, and pressed back as Harry gently pushed forward.

He remembers this is his dream, so he takes a slow breath to steady himself before beginning to gently push the head of his penis in properly.

Both let out synchronised sounds of pleasure at the feeling of being fully connected again after all these years.  Harry rhythmically thrusted back and forth in a more slower intimate pace. Just as Harry was about to pull out and push back in again he heard Louis speak and it made Harry falter, because Louis was right.

“It’s never felt this real before.”

Harry had dreamt about Louis and vice versa a lot since their first night together when they initially first met, and none of those dreams had ever felt like this. 

Harry became aware of his state of consciousness about the time that Louis pushed back hard and it caused his cock to slip back into the passage and rub against Louis’ prostate causing him to let out a rather loud grunt. 

This was enough to cause a flood of consciousness to Harry who was starting to realise that he wasn’t dreaming after all, but he wasn’t quite awake enough to stop his body from reacting to Louis who was pushing back against him with increasing frequency.

“Louis, you need to stop.  We can’t do this.”  Harry said desperately as he tried to pull himself away from the tight warm heat, his body rejecting common sense and making compliance difficult when faced with a willing partner.

Realising that he was getting close to his release and being aware that he wasn’t wearing any protection he made one final attempt at pushing Louis away.  “Louis” Harry repeated louder, placing his hand on his hips to still his movement.

“Don’t stop Harry, I’m almost there.”  Louis moaned out, trying to get Harry to keep moving.

“No Louis, we shouldn’t be doing this.”  Harry said desperately, finally able to wrangle his body into compliance.

Louis who is moaning all sorts of words that Harry cannot decipher suddenly flicks open his eyes and stills.

Yeah, the dream he thought he was having was definitely more reality than dreamtime because Harry’s cock inside his arse and his own hard on was more than enough proof.

Harry can tell you the exact moment that he knows when Louis also wakes up, because they both completely freeze. There is no more moaning and groaning, thrusting or rubbing.

It’s dead quiet and dead still.

Harry can tell that he finally managed to get Louis’ attention as he froze before saying.

“Harry….what’s going on … .are we? Oh god,  I thought I was just dreaming.”

“I know,  I’m sorry, I thought I was dreaming too and I didn’t know… it was too late when I found out.”  Harry gritted his teeth and tried to stammer out an explanation.

“Too late for what?  Wait….are you….you need to get out of me.”

Louis’ voice was pierced as he tried to move away but unfortunately for him it was too late, because just as he was scrambling to get away from Harry, the slight movement tipped Harry’s already sensitive tip over the edge. Louis felt a gush of wetness inside his ass as he heard Harry groan behind him.

“ Fuck, I’m so sorry Louis.  I tried to stop…I swear I didn’t mean to take advantage, you just felt too good.” 

Harry couldn’t finish that thought as he reached for the first thing that was near him to wipe his semen off of Louis, but he already knew that it was too late, that he hadn’t pulled out completely before reaching his climax.

“I can’t believe you did this to me.”  Louis cried out, hysterical as he scrambled to the edge of the bed, a million different thoughts swimming through his head.

Panic, anger, and most predominantly…guilt.

“It wasn’t just me Louis, you were fully involved in this too.”  Harry said defensively.

“I thought I was dreaming.”  Louis yelled, catching Harry off guard.

“So did I.”  Came Harry’s reply.

“ I’m not on birth control, Harry. I haven’t had the need to be.” Louis confessed. With a heavy sigh, he rolls over and reaches for his clothes and with a determined stride  heads straight to the bathroom to clean himself up properly, Harry not missing the soft “Fucking hell” that escaped his lips in the process.

The steady stream of running water lingered in the background with Harry finding himself sitting on the edge of the bed, contemplating what the fuck had just happened and how the fuck he was going to try and fix it. 

The room, once filled with shared desire, now felt charged with a heavy yet delicate tension.

As the water continued its rhythmic flow, Harry’s mind raced to navigate the complexities of the situation. He ran his fingers through his dishevelled hair, a physical manifestation of how bad he felt.  Thoughts swirled – how had they arrived at this point, and how the hell was he going to mend the fractures that had unexpectedly surfaced between them yet again…and Frankie?

What had he just done? Not only to his girlfriend but to Louis as well?

In the aftermath of intimacy, the bathroom became a sanctuary for Louis, a place to cleanse not only his body but also his thoughts.

He sat on the edge of the bathtub, the sterile white tiles reflecting the aftermath of vulnerability. The air hung heavy with the scent of cleansing soap, a stark contrast to the turmoil within him. Tears welled in his eyes, a silent testament to the multitude of emotions swirling beneath the surface. The fear of an impending pregnancy loomed large, casting shadows over his thoughts, the weight of responsibility settling in his chest.

His trembling hands traced the smooth surface of the tub as he replayed the hazy events in his mind. The intimacy they had shared, marred by the fog of unconsciousness, left an ache in his heart. It wasn’t supposed to be like this – their first time together after so long. The desire for a conscious connection, a shared moment of passion, was overshadowed by the disconcerting circumstances.

In the quiet of the bathroom, Louis grappled with the complexities of emotions, seeking solace in the cool porcelain beneath him. The tears, a blend of fear and disappointment, mirrored the vulnerability that lingered in the wake of an encounter that was meant to be beautiful but now felt shrouded in shame.

As Louis reenters the room, Harry, who is nervously shifting from foot to foot, stands at the end of the bed.

In the weighty silence, neither Louis nor Harry seem to find the right words to bridge the growing gap. Louis, meeting Harry’s gaze, reveals a depth of sadness in his eyes, emphasised by a profound sigh.

“Do you want me to go?” Harry’s voice, a fragile offering, breaks the silence, the vulnerability of the question hanging between them. Louis, grappling with his own emotions, pulls back the blanket and slips into the bed. Sitting up, he wipes the vacant space beside him, avoiding direct eye contact.

With a soft hum, Louis replies.

“No, but I understand if you want to.”

Harry, grateful for not being immediately dismissed, seeks clarity on their current standing.

“Should I go sleep on the lounge?” Harry inquires, his eyes searching for a hint of resolution.

Louis rolls over, flicking off the lamp, and in the darkness, his voice carries a quiet command. “Get in the bed, Harry.” The words bounce off the walls like a delicate invitation bridging the emotional distance that once again separates them.

Harry, expecting to be met with the sight of Louis’ back for the remainder of the night, is taken aback when Louis turns over to face him. The surprise deepens as Louis inches closer, their foreheads nearly touching, the proximity revealing the upcoming conversation.

“I’m sorry for snapping and blaming you. I guess I was just shocked and—” Louis begins, his voice carrying the weight of apology and introspection and Harry just knows, even in the darkness that there’s nothing but sincerity in Louis’ eyes.

“I didn’t anticipate that kind of, um, scene or what I had envisioned it to be like, reuniting with you.”

Harry reciprocates the sentiment, his eagerness to address the concerns evident in his apologetic tone. “I feel the same, and I cannot apologise enough to you, Lou. I just wish I had more restraint. I know it’s probably not what you wanted, and—”

“Hey, Harry, listen to me. It’s not that I didn’t want it to happen; of course, eventually, I wanted it. We conceived last time, and now again tonight we didn’t use a condom. It was silly and irresponsible. Are you even still clean, is there anything I need to know?”

The question opens the door to discuss Frankie, a topic that hovers in the back of Harry’s mind 24/7. However, Harry finds himself stuck for words, a hesitation that lingers as he finally responds.

“I’m clean.”

The admission, while seemingly straightforward, bears the weight of concealed truths—secrets destined to unravel far sooner than either of them anticipates.

“What are we doing, regarding us, I mean? I’m uncertain about the direction we’re headed, and it’s confusing me. Despite my intention to concentrate on finding Saxon, I discover an increasing need for you, Harry. I can’t explain it; it makes no sense.”

Harry, not in the right headspace to provide a definitive answer, sidesteps the question, opting for a temporary escape. “We’ll be okay; we can talk more about it tomorrow. Gotta meet the Detective early in the morning. Let’s sleep.”

As Louis buries his head into the crook of Harry’s neck, seeking solace in the warmth they share, Harry seals the unspoken reassurance with a tender kiss to the top of Louis’ head.

“ Good night, Lou.” 

🚨

The sun had just begun to cast its gentle morning rays as Louis and Harry, early risers today and not by choice, found themselves venturing into Louis’ treasured cafe at 8 am.

Louis, animated about their breakfast excursion, had proposed an early departure to savour the cafe’s offerings before heading to the police station. As they stepped in, the cosy warmth of the cafe greeted them, filled with the tempting scents of pastries and brewing coffee creating a tranquil morning awakening. Luckily the place was only occupied by a couple more early bird patrons. 

“So, what type of breakfast person are you, Harry? Ham and cheese toastie? Croissant? Avocado on toast?” Louis inquired, his eyes revealing a genuine curiosity but also laced with a hint of playfulness.

The mere mention of avocado on toast elicited a subtle eye roll from Louis, and a knowing smile spread across Harry’s face. It was evident that avocados held no appeal for Louis’ taste buds whatsoever. Harry makes an internal note for future reference that avocados were clearly on Louis’ culinary “no-go” list.

Bathed in the cafe’s morning ambiance, a playful banter spontaneously unfolded between Louis and Harry. As they ordered and found a cosy spot at a nearby table, the air buzzed with the exchange of light-hearted jokes. The contrast between their shared amusement today and the  awkwardness from the previous night’s hiccup, created a dynamic interplay of emotions. Amid the easy camaraderie and the disappearance of morning tension, Louis couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief. Things with Harry seemed to flow effortlessly, almost too “easy” and “natural.” However, in the midst of this newfound comfort, a whisper of doubt tiptoed into Louis’ mind – maybe he had spoken too soon.

“I’m so sorry to bother you. I watch your show religiously. Can I please have a photo?” The girl, no older than sixteen, approached the table with a mix of promptness and hesitance. Blushing, she kept stealing glances at her friends who had just entered the cafe.

Louis momentarily forgot that Harry was YouTube famous. It struck him as strange that Harry had ‘fans’ and an odd curiosity sparked within him. Now armed with Harry’s name and occupation, all Louis wanted to do was Google him to see what all the fuss was about.

“Oh, um, I would love to, but I’m kind of—” Harry began, a hesitant note in his voice. Louis could sense that Harry felt awkward and was denying the request at his own expense.

“Harry, it’s fine.” Louis reassured him. The girl then shifted her attention to Louis, realisation dawning on her face.

“Oh, you’re the man on TV. I’m sorry about your kid. But wait… you two know each other?” she asked, her curiosity evident. Despite Harry’s attempt to conceal it, a hint of panic flickered in his eyes. He pushed back his chair, standing, and extended his arm to wrap around her shoulder.

“Let’s take that picture, shall we?” Harry proposed, a forced smile masking the underlying truth.

“Could you hold off on posting that until later, please?” The girl nodded, expressing her thanks. “Thank you, Harry. I love you so much. Thank you again.”

As the girl hurried off to share the moment with her friends, Harry turned back to Louis, who wore a smirk. “I love you so much, Harry.”

Despite the playful mockery from Louis, Harry found himself cherishing those words, a sentiment he longed to hear genuinely from Louis one day.

Their breakfast had just arrived, and as Harry took only his third bite, an unwelcome interruption disrupted the meal again. But this time, it wasn’t a fan seeking attention.

“Mr. Styles.”

Startled, both men looked up to find themselves face to face with two officers, one of whom was none other than the arrogant Mr. Lloyd Wakefield.

“Detective Reign wishes to speak with you.”

Harry glanced at his watch, puzzled. It was only 8:25 am; he didn’t think he was running late. The demand for immediate attention echoed with an urgency that left little room for negotiation.

“Now.” Wakefield demanded, the word commanding an immediate response.

“ Alright.”

A sudden unease settled in Louis’ gut, a feeling that something was severely wrong. Harry, not wanting to escalate the situation, gently patted Louis’ hand, attempting to reassure him.

“It’s okay.” he smiled, concealing the nervous undercurrent that had gripped him in the harsh presence of Wakefield.

“Stay. Enjoy your food. I’ll call you when I’m done.”

With little room for argument, Harry stood and followed both officers out the door, leaving Louis alone with a plate of untouched breakfast and a growing sense of concern.

🚨

Detective Reign’s gaze bore into Harry, the intensity of the interrogation room at the police station amplifying every word as Harry found himself in a situation he never saw coming.

“You’re mistaken. I mean, technically you’re not, but it’s not what it looks like.” Harry countered, beads of sweat forming on his forehead despite the coolness of the room.

They had been entrenched in this claustrophobic interview room for the past hour. Detective Reign, unfazed by Harry’s attempt to explain away the inconsistency, meticulously pored over records on the computer screen. Shadows played on the strained lines of Harry’s face as the detective unfolded the disconcerting revelation – Harry had been in Doncaster merely two days before Saxon’s disappearance.

“Correct me if I’m wrong.” Reign’s voice cut through the room like a scalpel, authoritative and consistent.

“But weeks ago when we first had a chat, you claimed you have been in LA for years and have never been to Doncaster.”

The professional interrogation reached its zenith, the room now a crucible of conflicting information, and Harry found himself at the epicentre, wrestling with the complexities of his own narrative while the missing child case loomed over them.

As Detective Reign’s stern gaze continues to weigh on Harry, a heavy silence lingers in the air, with the implications of the conflicting details. The detective, not one to let a moment pass without extracting answers, leans forward slightly, his fingers tapping against the table.

“I need a clear explanation, Mr. Styles. The timeline here doesn’t add up.” Reign insists, his tone remaining the same.

Harry, feeling the pressure of the situation, takes a steadying breath before attempting to clarify the apparent discrepancy. He delves into a hurried explanation about a last-minute trip, an unforeseen circumstance that brought him to Doncaster briefly, emphasising the brevity and coincidental nature of the visit.

Detective Reign, ever the skeptic, narrows his eyes, seemingly unconvinced. “A last-minute trip? Convenient, don’t you think?” he probes, scrutinising Harry’s reaction.

The room, steeped in tension, awaits Harry’s response as the detective continues to unravel the layers of this perplexing new narrative.

As Harry stumbles through his explanation, Detective Reign’s skepticism deepens. The atmosphere in the room becomes almost palpable, the only sounds are the strained cadence of Harry’s voice and the persistent tapping of the detective’s fingers.

Suddenly, the door swings open with a force that startles both of them. In strides another detective, a folder in hand, eyes flickering between Harry and Reign.

“Detective, you need to see this.” the newcomer declares urgently.

Reign, torn between the ongoing interrogation and the urgency in his colleague’s demeanor, shoots Harry a stern look before swiftly exiting the room. The door slams shut, leaving Harry alone, suspended in a vortex of worry.

Minutes tick by like an eternity until Detective Reign returns, a complex mix of emotions etched on his face.

“Mr. Styles, it appears there might be more to this than we initially thought.” he says cryptically, the weight of the revelation lingering ominously in the room.

Detective Reign places the folder on the table, a palpable sense of gravity accompanying its presence. Harry eyes it with a mixture of anticipation and apprehension. As the detective flips it open, revealing a series of photographs and documents, Harry’s eyes widen in shock.

The contents of the folder are a meticulous timeline, complete with surveillance footage and witness statements, placing Harry at various locations in Doncaster during the critical window surrounding Saxon’s disappearance. The evidence contradicts Harry’s initial narrative, painting a more intricate and puzzling picture.

Detective Reign, maintaining his professional demeanour, studies Harry’s reaction intently. “Care to explain this, Mr. Styles?” he prompts, the weight of the newfound information hanging heavy in the room. The unfolding drama takes an unexpected turn, leaving Harry scrambling for an explanation that might reconcile the glaring inconsistencies.

Caught in the web of incriminating evidence, Harry’s mind races, grappling for a coherent explanation. Detective Reign’s gaze remains unwavering, awaiting Harry’s response to the damning revelations.

In a moment of realisation, Harry senses the gravity of the situation and the potential legal ramifications. The weight of the evidence pressing against him, he hesitates before finally uttering, “I think I need a lawyer.”

Detective Reign, with his expression unmoved, nods solemnly. “Alright, Mr. Styles. We’ll arrange for legal representation if you need. But we’re not done here.” he asserts, the promise of further scrutiny lingering in the air. As the tension in the room thickens, the fate of the unfolding drama takes a decisive turn with the invocation of legal counsel.

However, Harry, when given the opportunity to use the phone, does not opt to call his lawyer Peter. He calls the one person he knows and trusts above anyone else.

“ I keep messing up. I’m in the police station. I need you to call Peter immediately. Please help me Liam.”

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Harry ?? 👀

Also, a heads up, next chapter is titled “Frankie”

 

So, time to update your thoughts.

Who has Saxon?

Chapter 10 - Frankie

A/N

My apologies for taking such a long time to update. The kids are now back at school so I will hopefully have some more time for updates. On a positive note, I saw Louis in Melbourne. He put his thumb up to my daughters sign and smiled at her as we were second row off to the side. Created such wonderful memories. Anyway, here is the new chapter. Dont hate me, it all needs to be done, trust the process. 🫣

Also, sorry its another 10k chapter.

‘ The sting of betrayal would be less harmless if it killed the love that came along with it. But it’s never quite that simple is it? Dishonesty and betrayal begin not in big lies but in small secrets.’

  🚨

As the layers of Harry’s tangled narrative unravel, it becomes apparent that his presence in Doncaster was not as innocuous as initially claimed. In truth, Harry was there to confront a personal matter, one that he had hoped to keep under wraps. The reasons for his visit were entangled in a complex web of emotions, involving a family matter that he hadn’t been ready to disclose.

Faced with the daunting prospect of revealing personal struggles, Harry chose to conceal the true purpose of his trip, weaving a narrative that painted a more straightforward picture. The lie, born out of a desire to shield private matters from public scrutiny, now stands exposed, leaving a trail of unanswered questions intensifying the enigma surrounding Saxon’s disappearance.

The family matter that brought Harry to Doncaster revolved around a long-standing estrangement with a close relative, his father. There were unresolved issues stemming from past conflicts, and Harry felt a growing urgency to address them and seek a resolution as his parents decided to divorce. It was something he wished to keep from the public and with how fast his fan base had grown in the last couple of years, Harry’s mum had pleaded to keep it on the downlow. Anne nor Harry wanted anybody to know of Desmond’s awful history and Harry knew that when he spoke with Reign that first time, that if the police knew that his own father had been convicted of pedaphilea, let’s just say, he didn’t want his fathers past painting a bad light for his own name.  So he had lied.

As it currently stands, the police are hesitant to accept Harry’s explanation. The resolution may depend on an examination of his father’s history. However, the trust Harry once had with Reign is now all but strained, and a similar loss of trust with Louis is likely imminent once he learns the full details.

Harry steps out from the police station, feeling the warmth on his face like a benediction after the cold interrogation room. He is immediately greeted by the hustle of the media, his name echoing from various directions, a symphony of voices he does not recognise. In the midst of this auditory chaos, one voice suddenly pierces through – Niall’s. Turning left, Harry finds not only Niall but also Liam and Frankie.

Shit……..

🚨

Growing increasingly worried about Harry’s prolonged stay at the police station, Louis, after two hours of silence, felt compelled to head there himself. Despite adhering to his daily routine, today held an unsettling aura, leaving him with an unshakable sense of unease.

He delicately eases off the accelerator, the car’s engine humming as he slowly breaks, navigating past the throng of media. Cameras flash, and journalists converge, igniting his curiosity. The heightened attention from the media suggests the possibility of new developments, as they typically only swarm like this when fresh details emerge.

The flicker of hope quickly extinguishes as a cluster of people disperses, revealing Harry. He stands amidst the crowd, hand entwined with a woman’s, their connection evident as the lady leans in for a tender kiss.

A profound ache grips Louis’ chest, squeezing his heart as he witnesses the scene before him. The sight of Harry, hand in hand with another, sharing an intimate kiss, feels like a brutal punch to his gut. The woman’s fingers interlocked with Harry’s create a tableau of connection that shatters the hopeful narrative Louis had held onto. The kiss, placed on the mouth by the woman with an unmistakable tenderness, serves as an unwavering confirmation that this is more than just a friendship. The confines of the car manage to close in, and the air turns heavy with the weight of realisation. The pit in Louis’ stomach deepens as he grapples with the truth – a truth that sends shockwaves through the memories of their shared night. The physicality of that connection now feels like a betrayal, leaving Louis to question the sincerity of every shared moment they endured since because of what he was now seeing.

Harry is NOT single.

As if by some twisted irony of fate, Harry turns around just as Louis’ car comes to an involuntary halt. Their eyes lock, and for a moment, time hangs suspended in a cruel tableau. Two reporters had seized the opportunity, rushing in front of the vehicle, causing Louis to abruptly stop. The barrage of shouted questions and flashing cameras fails to register with Louis, as his focus remains transfixed on Harry, who wears an expression of mortification.

“Louis!”

Unfazed by the chaos outside, Harry swiftly untangles himself from Frankie, but the look in Louis’ eyes is enough to convey the shattering impact of the revealed kiss. As Harry begins to move towards the car, Louis finds himself immobilised, torn between the urge to escape the unfolding scene and the magnetic pull of Harry’s gaze.

“Louis!”

The urgency in Harry’s voice cuts through, and Louis diverts his eyes, determined not to grant Harry the satisfaction of his attention. A sudden bang on the window startles him, and he sees Harry outside, pleading.

“Lou, please, let me in. It’s not—”

Louis retaliates by pressing down on the horn, creating a cacophony of sound that drowns out Harry’s words and makes people move out of his way. Planting his foot on the accelerator, Louis tears away through the chaos, desperate to put distance between himself and the heart-wrenching spectacle that’s left behind.

Requiring a respite, Louis manoeuvres to the side of the lot, his breath catching as he slightly hyperventilates.

Who was that mysterious girl?

Why was she entwined in a kiss with Harry?

Did Harry have entanglements elsewhere?

Why were so much media present?

As expected Louis didn’t know what to think, as all sorts of scenarios played over in his head. The only certainty amid the confusion is the newfound surge of anger and hurt.

Louis slumps in his parked car, an act of pure devastation. His eyes, once filled with hope and admiration, now reflect a sea of shattered illusions. Silent sobs escape him, leaving nothing but a bitter taste on his lips.

‘ What the fuck is happening ?’

As he whispers to himself, the world outside blurs, as if unable to bear witness to the unravelling of his heart. His hands tremble, not just from the chill in the air, but from the icy grip of betrayal tightening around his chest.

Each wiped tear feels like a concession to the pain, an acknowledgment of the fractures in the foundation of his trust. In the quiet despair, he contemplates the wreckage of what he believed was an unshakeable connection with Harry—the one he was beginning to hold dear in the sacred chambers of his heart.

The seat beneath him carries the weight of a thousand unanswered questions, and the air inside the car hangs heavy with the sour taste of disillusionment. Louis, once sure that Harry was “the one”, now finds himself adrift in a sea of doubt, mourning the loss of a “love” he thought would weather any storm.

Staring at his reflection in the mirror, Louis brushes away the last traces of tears, the redness on his face a stark reminder of how fucked up this all feels. Despite the visible aftermath, he clears his throat with resolve, reaching for his keys and drink, ready to face whatever lies ahead.

Originally here to check on Harry, Louis now seizes the opportunity to inquire about any developments concerning Saxon. As he swings the car door ajar, he’s met with the sight of Harry who had silently trailed him standing a few metres away with an expectant gaze.

Harry refrains from approaching the car, opting to stand back and allowing Louis to make the first move. The resounding slam of the car door, coupled with the icy glare, serves as an unmistakable signal for Harry to reconsider his presence.

As Louis exits the car, locking it with a determined click and zipping up his jacket while sipping his coffee, Harry remains rooted in place. Louis strides forward, wordlessly passing by him, and for a moment, Harry hesitates to turn and follow. The realisation of his profound mistake sinks in, and the chill emanating from Louis feels like a physical ache, tearing at Harry’s insides.

“Can we talk, please let me explain.” Harry pleads, the desperation in his voice revealing the depths of his remorse.

The ball is in Louis’ court, and Harry waits, hoping for a chance to mend the breach he’s unwittingly created.

Harry catches the faint stutter in Louis’ steps and turns to witness Louis’ pause as he stares at his back.

“It’s all you ever seem to do, Harry… explain , isn’t it.”

Attempting to close the emotional distance, Harry starts walking towards him. However, his movement only prompts Louis to quicken his pace, heading determinedly for the station’s entrance opting to go round front since it was his quickest line of escape. Unfortunately the glaring presence of cameras awaits Louis, intensifying the spotlight on their never ending drama.

“ Mr. Tomlinson! Rumours are swirling that internet sensation Harry Styles is the father of the missing child! Care to comment? Is it true that he didn’t know he was a father? How does Styles feel about this bombshell revelation?”

The media journalist’s voice pierced the air as Louis briskly walked past, ignoring the question and disappearing through the doors.

‘ Great ’

Well that news didn’t take long to get out.

Louis gracefully exits the building precisely six minutes later, courtesy of a receptionist’s update that Reign and Garcia needed to finalise some calls before their meeting, with assurance of a call once they were prepared.

A subtle surprise paints his expression as he observes a lingering crowd near the entrance. In retrospect, he should have anticipated the renewed interest, particularly with Harry’s presence now in the mix. Fortunately, he is shielded by the presence of other officers as he steps through the door, discreetly pulling up his coat collar and lowering his head to avoid attention. Navigating through the gathering, he reaches his car, exhaling audibly when he spots Harry casually leaning against the bonnet.

Louis extracts his keys from his pocket, and as he glances up, his eyes meet Harry’s intense gaze, brimming with nothing but a desperate hope for an opportunity to converse.

“ I can’t do this here Harry. To be fair, I’d rather not entertain it at all. Go home.”

In Louis’ words, there is an unmistakable clarity, leaving Harry with the understanding that giving him some breathing room is the sensible course of action.

Yet, Harry, ever fashionably late to his own memos, frequently muddles the distinction between right and wrong, particularly when it concerns Louis, his brain, seemingly on a Louis-induced malfunction.

Observing him open the car door, Harry instinctively shadows his movements, swiftly slipping into the passenger seat. The door closes, enveloping them in an anticipatory silence. Harry braces himself for the impending onslaught of words, yet to his bewilderment, the expected verbal barrage fails to materialise. Louis, with an unwavering gaze, remains fixated on the tree outside, visible through the windshield, shrouding the car in a contemplative stillness.

“ Why? Why did you do this to me? A fucking girlfriend, for fuck sakes.”

Louis’ voice, soft and timid, bears a fragile edge as he keeps his gaze fixed outside. Harry debates how to explain Frankie; his intentions are genuine, but recent attempts to articulate himself have consistently misfired.

“I’m sorry, I had every intention of telling you.” Harry confesses, turning to face Louis, who remains stoic.

“Just like the Range Rover, hey.” Louis retorts, Harry not missing the bitterness in his tone… and well, granted.

With the palpable tension in the air, Harry senses the impending expiration of his time within Louis’ vehicle. Urgency courses through him; he must explain, and he must do it fast.

“ Did you take a good look at her?“ Harry blurts out, desperation making Harry’s heart beat faster.

Caught off guard, Louis seizes the moment to pivot, fixing his gaze on Harry. In that quick exchange, Harry wishes to erase the tears that have traced their path down Louis’ cheek.

“What? No, I didn’t glance at her. I was somewhat in utter shock witnessing the man I believed I was developing feelings for being embraced by a woman as she kissed him. My apologies if I opted to remove myself from that fucking scenario.”

Harry, sensing the urgency, starts speaking again, words tumbling out in a hurried cadence, fearing the impending time constraint.

“Frankie, she’s bubbly and petite—”

Louis scoffs, cutting him off abruptly.

“For God’s sake, Harry, I truly couldn’t care less about what she’s like.”

“ WELL YOU NEED TO !”

Panic courses through Harry; his heart races as he hurriedly fishes his phone from his pocket. With fingers fumbling, he quickly navigates to his gallery.

“Here. LOOK!” Harry says, thrusting his phone toward Louis, who succumbs to curiosity. A picture of Frankie is held before his face, a visual aid as Harry persists in his explanation.

“Meeting you changed everything for me, Louis. The emotions you stirred within me is something I don’t think I will ever be able to explain. From searching for you to the stark acceptance that I might never see you again, somehow life led me to Frankie soon after. Louis, please take a moment. Look at her. Really, truly look at her!”

Louis complies, snatching the phone and drawing it closer for scrutiny. Frankie, holding a microphone, prompts an almost involuntary eye roll from Louis — of course Harry would be dating a singer.

However, Harry’s voice compels him to persist, his gaze scanning over the image despite his initial reservations.

“From her stance, to her hair and features, her delicate body frame, and her beautiful personality — she mirrors you, she is exactly like you Louis. If i couldn’t have you, then-”

Louis has no idea how he is supposed to react to this. Is he supposed to be flattered? Because right now, all he sees is a poor woman who is what…being used? Was Frankie merely a pawn in someone else’s game?

Louis doesn’t understand any of it.

Why had Harry allowed them to rekindle their attraction, why would he allow Frankie to also be hurt? Why is he sticking around? Since Harry has returned into his life, there has just been one ‘thing’ after another.

Lie after lie, secret after secret.

All that Louis wants to do is find his child, but despite previous warnings, Harry persists in his relentless pursuit to keep him distracted. As anticipated, the fragments of Louis’ heart, which he thought were on the path to healing, now shatter once again.

“ She looks lovely. Now excuse me, I have somewhere to be.”

In a nerve-wracking moment, Louis’ phone abruptly rings, and he answers it promptly. The tense tone of Detective Reign’s voice on the other end sends shivers down Harry’s spine.

“Hello, yeah they told me you were really busy, i’m outside about to leave. Of course  I can come back in an hour. See you then, alright, should I be worried? Oh okay, thank you.” The way Louis looks straight to Harry does nothing for his intensifying anxiety.

Throwing the phone into the console and leaning over Harry, Louis swings open the door, signalling for him to exit. As Harry stares, utterly speechless, Louis can’t contain the unintended volume in his voice.

“Seems as though after your little meeting, the police say they have some matters they wish to address concerning you, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR.”

Not wanting to push anymore shit uphill, Harry sighs knowing he isn’t going to get anywhere today.

“ I will be at the same hotel as before.”

“Get out.”

As he begins to exit, it dawns on him that he hasn’t explained what transpired between himself and Detective Reign. With a subtle motion, he leans back into the car.

“Just know, things aren’t what they seem. I’d never harm either of you.”

Met with no response, he closes the door and watches Louis drive off.

🚨

Louis hadn’t been lying when he said he had places to go. His first stop was to his workplace.

The conversation with his boss exceeded his expectations, providing a chance to catch up with friendly colleagues. Opting to return to work in a couple of days, he hopes it offers a welcomed distraction. His commitment, however, is to allocate only a few hours, ensuring the majority of his time remains devoted to Saxon.

Exiting the post office, he veers into a McDonald’s drive-thru, silencing his racing thoughts with a satisfying Big Mac and robust coffee. Parked in the lot, he relishes the burger while effortlessly typing “Harry Styles” into YouTube.

Upon opening the first video that appears to have been made last year, Louis is drawn into an exploration of an abandoned asylum from the ’70s. Despite his lingering frustration with Harry, he can’t ignore Harry’s captivating appearance with his once long hair. Louis finds himself engrossed, unable to close the app, mesmerised by Harry’s enthusiasm and connection with viewers. Reading through the countless comments, he grudgingly acknowledges the widespread love for Harry, though he can’t deny a subtle tension as he reads both supportive and somewhat questionable comments from fans of all genders.

‘ You are so hot Harry.’

‘ Daddy, please wreck me!’

‘Another amazing video Styles, how about we make our own movie ;)

No, jealousy needs to take a back seat as Louis struggles with a profound sense of anger, hurt, and intense frustration aimed squarely at Harry Styles. The very same Harry Styles who, despite being in a committed relationship, betrayed Louis by sharing a bed and an orgasm, leaving a lingering sting of betrayal that eclipses any fleeting twinge of jealousy.

As Louis watches an endless stream of videos, he initially attributes it to a lingering attraction to Harry. However, amidst the dimples, smiles, and periodic laughter, he begins to recognize fragments of the little boy he once knew so intimately. A poignant realisation washes over him, and in the quiet solitude of his emotions, tears escape as he confronts the bittersweet nostalgia of what once was.

Louis noticed the subtle ways Saxon inherited traits from Harry—the endearing nose scrunch when suppressing a smile, the gentle sway of the hips during a joyous dance—all echoes of the man Louis once knew, now mirrored in their child.

God, Louis missed his boy.

The intensity of his yearning for his lost son left Louis wrestling with guilt, acknowledging that in the sanctuary of his mind, he allowed it to wander back to Harry—a betrayal to both Saxon and himself. The pain, an exquisite agony, manifested not just in the physical discomfort but in a profound void. It was a silent scream echoing in the chambers of his soul, a relentless ache that no amount of distraction nor time could assuage.

After a discreet moment of wiping away the evidence of his pain, Louis is jolted back to reality by the persistent ring of his phone. Summoning all the strength he can muster, he answers, determined to shield his mother from the raw anguish that still lingers in his voice.

“Hi, Mum.” he greets, masking the pain with a tone that belies the storm within.

As Louis listens, Jay’s voice carries the familiar warmth of concern as she invites him over for dinner. However, within the cadence of her words, there’s an unexpected revelation that catches him off guard.

“Where did you see him?!? Just now? Bloody hell. I’m heading back to the station. Both Detective Reign and Garcia want to have a chat. I’ll sort out that other mess right after… Yeah, I’ll see you at six.”

Louis seethed with frustration. He was now utterly pissed off.

🚨

The meeting with Reign and Garcia stretched beyond the initially anticipated timeframe, the air in the room tinged with an aura of uncertainty. At the mention of Harry’s time in Doncaster, a palpable shock reverberated through the space, casting an initial shadow over the proceedings. Frankly, the outlook seemed bleak for Harry.

However, as Reign delved into the intricacies, the atmosphere shifted. The room became a canvas for details and explanations, each word painting a picture of verification and validation. The revelation of crucial information unfolded, and with each piece of the puzzle explained, clarity emerged like a guiding light.

In the measured cadence of Reign’s explanations, doubts were dispelled, and the complex web of circumstances began to unravel. The once uncertain air metamorphosed into a sense of understanding, paving the way for Harry’s freedom. The meeting, initially shrouded in apprehension, concluded with a newfound assurance – Harry was finally free to go if he chooses, but the weight of Doncaster’s secrets in the shadows had certainly not been lifted.

Next on the agenda, Louis navigated through the town streets, his car slicing through the urban landscape. Detective Reign’s revelations reverberate in his mind, leaving him in a state of shock. Clinging to the slender hope that it’s all a misunderstanding, he holds tight to Harry’s cryptic reassurance from earlier,

‘ Just know, things aren’t what they seem. I’d never harm either of you.’

The lingering uncertainty, articulated by Reign’s admission of ongoing investigations, adds a layer of disquiet to the atmosphere within the car. Louis, cocooned in his thoughts, finds his subconscious steering him toward a predetermined destination. Annoyance simmers beneath the surface, fueled by the unsettling information from his mother.

Parking in the lot, the car becomes a vessel carrying his emotional turmoil. Entering the building, he desperately clings to the possibility that his mother misinterpreted what she had seen when driving past earlier.

“ Louis, nice to see you, wasn’t expecting you in here. How are you feeling, love?”

“ Hi Krystal.”

Emerging not long later with a piece of paper clutched in his hands, his determination intensifies, propelling him towards the hotel where Harry claimed to be staying—a quest fueled by the need to unravel his fury.

As Louis raced into the hotel entrance, his eyes caught sight of Harry, stepping out of a familiar relic— the weathered car that once navigated them from Holmes Chapel. Unaware of Louis’ arrival, he leans into the trunk, retrieving what seems to be a bag of groceries.

In a crescendo of tension, Louis doesn’t merely approach; he orchestrates his presence with vehemence. Pulling alongside, the abrupt halt of his car reverberates through the air, signalling a sudden interruption to the mundane task at hand.

Louis bursts out of his car, the door slamming shut with a resounding echo. His voice cuts through the air, devoid of niceties, as he confronts Harry.

“What is wrong with you?”

Initially, Harry assumes Louis is agitated over his recent meeting with Reign, attributing the intensity to unrelated issues. Little does he know, Louis is seething over an entirely different matter.

“Reign said he wasn’t going to-”

Louis throws his hands in exasperation, surveying the surroundings, suddenly aware of a small family up the road, their curious gazes lingering as they cross the street. Despite the audience, he lowers his voice, but the steady firmness persists.

“I’m not talking about Reign; I’m talking about this!”

He brandishes the paper, waving it insistently in Harry’s face, a tangible representation of the anger coursing through Louis’ veins.

Setting his gaze on the matter at hand, Harry tightly presses his lips together.

“ Well? You had no right Harry, none! Why did you do that? I do that! You can’t just waltz into my life and take over! He is my son, mine Harry.”

And ouch, that hurt Harry which ignited something inside himself that he can’t explain. 

“As much as you wanna believe, you are not the only one who misses and loves him, you know.” Harry retorted, his voice more on the defensive side as he became slightly embarrassed at their public dispute.

Louis turned around, slamming the paper down on the trunk indicating that this conversation was about to escalate into uncharted territory.

Louis attempted a laugh, a feeble attempt to mask the mounting frustration within him. He closed the distance between them, walking up to Harry with a storm brewing in his eyes. The pent-up emotions exploded as Louis’ fingers struck hard into Harry’s chest, each touch carrying the weight of all these grievances.

“LOVE HIM? You think YOU love him, you don’t even know him Harry or have even seen him !! You never held his hand or wiped away his tears, you never played peek a boo or allowed him to sleep in your bed when he was scared and-”

“Alright I get it, Jesus Lou!!”

Louis felt an urgent need to deliver a final blow, to make Harry feel the same searing pain he had just experienced over Frankie. Determination etched across his face, as he unleashed the words like a weapon.

“You don’t seem to know anything about ‘love’ do ya? You don’t love him, Harry….. I do.”

Harry, sensing the gravity of Louis’ words, attempted to deflect.

“Lou, that’s not fair.” Both of their words had left their mouths with such haste, leaving a bitter taste of remorse and regret in its wake.

As Harry turned away, a growing realisation dawned upon him. There was an uncomfortable truth in Louis’ words, and the acknowledgment stung. Louis’ claim of loving their child more lingered in the air, and Harry, unable to deny the validity, felt the sting of tears welling in his eyes. Despite not having met their child, Harry’s heart resonated with a love that transcended physical presence, a sentiment that distance couldn’t prevent.

As he observes Harry’s face, a sobering awareness washes over Louis — he’s pushed it too far, he has crossed a line. Harry’s features amplifies the understanding that his words have cut deep.

Fatigue has hit Louis feeling snappy and drained, and he has also become acutely aware of the media frenzy now surrounding Harry and it’s just all too much. His face now plastered all over the news intensifies the scrutiny, and the recent involvement of Frankie just adds an extra layer of complexity to an already fraught situation. It’s a tumultuous mix, and Louis senses that his recent words are just the icing on the cake.

“I shouldn’t have covered the childcare bill without checking with you first. I sincerely apologise.” Harry admits, observing Louis lean back against the car.

Harry senses that the surge of emotions goes beyond a mere child care bill. Understanding that Louis needs to release these feelings, Harry realises the importance of allowing him to express himself, even if it means facing potential pain in the process.

God, everything with Harry has just turned to shit and Louis just wishes it was all rainbows and butterflies again because wasn’t it all easier before? The relentless changes leave him questioning the what, how and why the fuck was everything consistantly changing.

“I had to handle that damn bill, Harry. It wasn’t just about responsibility; it felt like you tore away the last shred of connection to Saxon I had as a parent. It went beyond an errand; it was this gut-wrenching need, a twisted ache in my chest. I had to do it myself, as if the pain of settling that bill was the only tangible thing left. You don’t get it, Harry. I needed to, in this desperate, anguished way that you’ll never understand as a parent.” Louis asserts, and suddenly his anger has been replaced by sorrow as he lowers his head opting to go quiet.

“ I’m sorry. I thought I was helping you out, you had other stuff on your mind and -”

Occasionally, silence proves to be overrated, and in Louis’ case, a cascade of thoughts from his conversation with Reign has him revisiting doubts about Harry’s motives and actions. With a heavy sigh, he realises there are other things on his mind that demand discussion also.

“ So I spoke with Reign. What the fuck Harry. There are so many things I wanna, actually make that I need to know. I need answers Harry and I need them now or so help me god, I swear I’m gonna walk away from you for good.”

Locking his car, Harry picks up the bag of goodies.

“You wanna come up?”

Louis looks over at the hotel where Harry had nodded and shakes his head.

“ No. As it is, Reign has told me to distance myself from you for a few days until he finalises some more inquiries.”

“Please.” Harry pleads through his eyes.

Anticipating resistance and expecting a more prolonged persuasion, Harry is somewhat puzzled when Louis responds immediately with a simple, “Fine.”

Louis trails behind as Harry guides him up to his room. Suppressing a sarcastic remark like “ Where’s your girlfriend?“ with a subtle chew on his cheek, Louis enters the room. As expected, his eyes sweep the space, hunting for any trace of a woman’s presence as he sits down.

“ She’s not here.” Harry discloses as if he had just read Louis’ mind.

While swiftly stowing away sandwiches, bottled water, and a watermelon into the small hotel fridge, Harry nonchalantly leaves the remaining snacks in the bag. He turns to face Louis, who greets him with a stern, questioning gaze.

Harry, sensing the tension, fidgets nervously as Louis rises, determined to break the uneasy silence. Louis, without realising, makes himself at home by flicking on the hotel’s fancy kettle. The room remains hushed until the kettle’s whistle pierces the air. Louis places a steaming cup in front of Harry and demands,

“Talk to me.”

Harry, biting his bottom lip due to anxiety, takes a tentative sip.

“I’ll tell you everything, just promise me you won’t blame me or look at me differently.”

Louis is taken aback by the vulnerability in Harry’s eyes, a hint of tears threatening to spill.

“I can’t promise anything, and I won’t lie, I’m a little apprehensive about what’s coming.”

Harry’s fingers draw anxious circles around the cup’s brim as his voice trembles.

“I was in Doncaster two days before Saxon vanished as you are probably aware by now. What you don’t know is that there are things about my family that, well, let’s just say, are not nice and are hidden from the public.”

Louis, now fully attentive, is visibly intrigued as Harry continues to explain, even when he fears this could end their friendship immediately. 

“Reign said he was going to inform you soon, but I’d really prefer you heard it from me instead Lou. He also told me I could in fact leave the country if I needed but they would be keeping in touch, Reign doesn’t trust me at all now, they dislike me i can tell, no doubt you too soon, I just know it, I didn’t mean for any of this, but i’m sorry, I dunno -”

“ Harry, you are rambling.”

Louis hesitates, gulping loudly, a flicker of reluctance in his eyes, mirroring the growing unease fueled by Harry’s escalating nerves because a part of him doesn’t know if he really wants Harry to continue.

“Ok, Sorry. My father, he’s not a kind man. He spent some time in jail up until a couple of months ago. After being released, he settled in Doncaster, away from my mother, as they’re no longer together; she filed for divorce right after learning about his actions. Louis, we’re nothing like him in any way. He’s dead to us, but he didn’t take it well. He started threatening me, insisting I visit him, threatening to ruin me publicly if I refused. That’s why I was here in Doncaster earlier. I went to see him, and told him to leave me alone. I didn’t tell Reign because, well, I knew it would look bad. Louis, please, I swear-”

“Why was he incarcerated, Harry?”

Persisting in emotional reactions to every single word said to you in life will only perpetuate your suffering. Genuine strength and self power, lies in calmly observing situations with logic and exercising restraint. If you let words wield control over you, it implies susceptibility to external manipulation. So Louis sits back and practises mindful breathing, letting things unfold without undue influence. It isn’t something he is used to, but for Harry, he tries his best. After a lengthy discussion, it’s now all out in the open.

“That is a lot to take in, Harry. I um-”

Louis stands up and although Harry had reassured him he wasn’t like his father, it’s hard to put all that in the back of his mind. When he looks into Harry’s eyes, deep down he knows Harry would never hurt a child not in that way, nor any way for that matter. There is just some type of invisible force that keeps reassuring Louis that he wouldn’t, that this isn’t the type of person Harry is. Despite this inner conflict, as a parent, Louis finds it challenging to simply let go of the impact of this unsettling news.

As Louis withdraws, Harry senses the unease settling between them. His deepest desire is for Louis to trust him, yet he recognizes that he’s created this distance himself. Watching Louis pace slowly, attempting to absorb it all, Harry yearns for the ability to rewind time and be more transparent from the start.

“I should have told you, fuck I should have told Reign at the start, I know this all looks bad, but Lou.”

Avoiding eye contact, Louis startles at the scraping sound of Harry’s chair, prompting him to step back.

“I need to leave.” Louis declares, his trembling hands visible to Harry. Harry doesn’t try to detain him, recognizing the need for time, though the full scope of today’s necessary discussions remains unfinished.

“Okay. But, Lou, about Frankie-” Harry begins, only for Louis to shake his head, signalling that he can’t handle any more today.

“ What happened between you and me Harry, It’s not going to happen again. I’m asking you, please, go back home to LA.”

Without giving him a chance to speak, Louis places his hand on the door handle, swinging it open. He freezes upon finding two men and the infamous ‘Frankie’ directly in front of him.

No one knows what to say, and its weird as fuck. An awkward silence lingers until Frankie finally breaks it, providing Louis with the opportunity to make a swift exit.

“Hey baby, Liam and Niall finally checked us in properly, who’s this? Hi, I’m Frankie.”

Frankie extends her hand to Louis, clearly oblivious. She’s utterly clueless about Louis, Saxon, and the whole damn situation between him and Harry.

As Louis accepts her hand, he can’t help but notice her friendly demeanour, dimples flashing as she smiles.

“I’m Louis, nice to meet you. I was just leaving, have a good day.”

In that moment, he chooses not to glance back. While he regrets being brusque with the two other lads he didn’t address, the urgency to leave overrides.

As Liam, Niall, and Harry exchange concerned glances, Frankie, perceptive in contrast, scans them all before sensing something amiss.

“Spill it. Who is he?”

🚨

Dinner remained untouched by Louis, and his mother, noticing his uncharacteristic silence (more than normal) and distant demeanour, attributed it to stress about Saxon. However, when Louis’ complexion turned pale, she insisted he take some rest.

Louis had slipped into a brief nap, but was abruptly awakened by the ring of his phone. The pang of guilt hit him upon seeing Oli’s name on the screen, realising he hadn’t given his friend much time lately, despite missing him dearly. With only forty minutes of rest, he didn’t feel adequately “refreshed” when he greeted him.

“Oliver, it’s good to hear—”

His words are interrupted as Oli hastily advises him to urgently switch on the TV to the ABC News channel. Without hesitation, he races downstairs, surprisingly finding his mother already fixated on the screen. Upon hearing Louis, she turns, her expression conveying a profound sadness.

Louis’ eyes move to the screen, widening in horror as a woman reporter begins delivering the horrible news . The television displays scenes near a creek, an hour away from Doncaster, with police meticulously securing the area, marking it off with caution tape. The atmosphere is tense, and the grim expressions on the faces of the officers reveal the severity of the situation, an all too well memory for Louis’ liking.

“What’s happening?” Louis finally manages to utter, his voice strained.

Jay glances at the TV and then back at Louis, her own concern mirroring his.

“I don’t know. All I caught before you got here was that there’s devastating news just outside of Doncaster, and they found a body.” The room is filled with an uneasy silence as panic stuns Louis in stillness.

Emergency vehicles, their lights flashing in chaotic patterns cast across the screen. The reporter’s voice cracks with urgency as she provides fragmented details and begins to relay an update as they flick live to the scene.

A wave of nausea grips Louis, the weight of the news sinking deep into his stomach. His mother, sitting beside him, wears a worried expression, her attempt to keep calm evident in the subtle creases on her forehead.

TV Anchor

: “Again, Breaking news just in. Authorities are currently at a scene near Bowie’s creek, an hour outside of Doncaster. Police have cordoned off the area with caution tape, and emergency services are on-site. We go live to our reporter at the scene. John, what can you tell us?

TV Reporter (on the scene):

“It’s an unsettling and sad atmosphere here as officers work to secure the area. Details are limited, but it has been reported that a child has been found deceased about two hours ago. No further information has been released as the investigation is ongoing.

TV Anchor

: “That is very tragic indeed. Any indication of the child’s identity?”

TV Reporter

: “None at the moment, but speculations are circulating, especially given recent events. Many are wondering if this could be connected to the disappearance of Saxon Tomlinson, the young boy who went missing just over a month ago.”

TV Anchor

: “Heart-wrenching. We’ll continue to follow this developing story and provide updates as more information becomes available. Our thoughts are with the family affected by this devastating incident. Thank you, John.”

Louis is frozen, a paralysing grip preventing any movement. Jay swiftly rises, taking hold of both his arms in an attempt to ground him.

“Louis, baby, look at me. This doesn’t automatically mean it’s him, sweetheart. It might not be. Please, please listen. We need to wait, let’s not leap to the worst conclusions.”

A nauseating wave washes over Louis, transcending any comprehensible level of sickness. Vomit forcefully spills from his mouth, Louis desperately trying to catch it with his hands before ruining the carpet.

Louis, still immobilised, is now in dire need of assistance. Jay’s desperate plea echoes through the air.

“Lottie, Lottie, quickly! Bring a cloth and some water.”

Lottie, hearing the urgency in her mother’s voice, rushes into the room with a cloth and a glass of water, her eyes widening at the sight of Louis in distress.

Sipping on a cup of water, Louis gradually regains focus, panic setting in as he frantically searches the room for his phone. The realisation hits that he left it upstairs, prompting him to dash upstairs in a desperate attempt to contact the detective. Why the fuck has no one called him yet?

Call after call, an eerie silence greets each attempt. Desperation mounts as Louis repeatedly dials Reign and Garcia, the unanswered calls amplifying his frustration. Unable to bear the uncertainty any longer, he hurries downstairs to his mother, who instinctively hands him the car keys, a tacit acknowledgement of his next move.

“Drive safe, please. And baby, just breathe. Positive thoughts, yeah.” Her words are a plea for composure amidst her son’s rising tension.

“ Let me know Louis, please. Just let me know if you find out anything.”

🚨

By the time Louis arrives, a chaotic scene awaits him with media swarming the area. Only when he begins to forcefully push through the throng do the reporters realise it’s him, their cameras turning towards him like vultures.

“Detective!” Louis calls out, uncaring of the watching ears and eyes. He doesn’t give a shit because right now, he needs answers before he completely loses control.

“DETECTIVE!”

Finally, his desperate cries reach Garcia, who rushes over to him amidst the chaos.

“Why the hell was no one answering me?” Louis demands, frustration etched on his face.

Garcia, patting her pockets, conveys the distressing news. “I’m sorry. I don’t seem to have it on me. We’ve been swamped here. I truly apologise.”

‘ Louis, is it your boy?’

‘Is your presence here an indication that this discovery is indeed your little one?’

Garcia’s expression darkens at the men shouting at Louis for any info, soon noticing the tears streaming down Louis’ face.

“Come.” she says, steering him away from the prying eyes. With purpose, Garcia guides him towards a tent set up a few metres away, offering a semblance of privacy.

“Louis, I need your full attention. The information has not been disseminated to the media as of now, as our primary focus has been locating the family. The reason you weren’t contacted promptly is that the child discovered is of Asian ethnicity. We are withholding the release of this information until we conclude additional details concerning the young girl.”

Louis falls to the ground gasping for air. Garcia sits down beside him, rubbing his back in a comforting manner.

“ I’m so sorry. I should have called you, I was just so busy that I didn’t stop to think what you must have been assuming. I do sincerely apologise.”

Louis wipes his face and looks to her in disbelief as if what he has just heard was not actually real.

“ It’s definitely not Saxon?”

Garcia smiles softly just as they both hear a loud cry come from a few feet away where a lady no older than his own mother has just been informed of her little girl.

“ What happened to her?”

Knowing she is breaking one of the cardinal rules of being in the police force, Garcia leans in close hoping to settle Louis, who she has become fond of over the last month.

“We are waiting on a coroner’s report but we suspect a drowning.”

Louis watches the mother weep uncontrollably before trying to extract more information.

“ What the hell was a small child doing all the way out here?”

Garcia rises to her feet, dusting off her pants.

“ I can’t tell you anything else. I’m sorry.”

Rising up to his feet, Louis is captivated by the cluster of media, a flurry of questions hurled in rapid succession capturing his attention once again.

Harry, along with his trio of friends are now all standing there watching on as Harry ignores the cameras and questions.

“ Oh god, there you are.”

Oli yells before swiftly ducking under the tape, sprinting towards Louis. Garcia facilitates his entry with a nod to the officer who was poised and ready to detain him.

Embracing Oli brought an immediate sense of relief, but even in that moment, Louis sensed a gaze fixated on him. Glancing toward Harry, he finds those familiar green eyes pleading for any snippet of news.

“It’s not my little boy, Oli. Thank goodness it’s not him. I mean, I’m devastated for the little girl, but, fucking hell, Oli, I genuinely believed it was him. I thought he was gone forever.“

Oli embraces him, a hug deeper and more poignant than ever before.

“ Can you?”

Oli nods.

“ You don’t even need to ask.”

As Oli and Louis navigate towards the exit, it becomes evident to Harry that Louis harbours no inclination to engage in conversation with him when he strides towards his car, Oli taking the lead instead as he approaches. Oli’s hand gently finds its place on Harry’s bicep.

“ It’s not Saxon.”

When Louis gets into the car, he looks at his phone to see fourteen missed calls from Harry in the last twenty minutes.

🚨

Two weeks have elapsed—two weeks of resolute silence from Harry, a fact that oddly brings a sense of relief. His health hasn’t been at its best though, prompting him to remain cloistered at home. Gratitude fills him as his mother and Oli diligently attend to his needs, allowing him ample time for much needed rest. Oli, too, having dealt with his own bout of illness, has now returned home to recover.

However, a familiar sensation nudges Louis, leading him on an impromptu trip to the pharmacist. Despite the comforting presence of those around him, an underlying concern stirs, pushing him to seek answers to a health question that lingers in the air.

Navigating the aisles, Louis locates what he needs effortlessly. After purchasing his item, he steps out onto the pavement where the warm sun blankets his skin in a comforting embrace.

Lost in contemplation, walking along the sidewalk, the soothing rays of sunlight cast a nice golden hue. It takes a bit longer than usual for him to register the voice ahead.

“Hi.” The simple yet sad greeting disrupts his thoughts, and as he looks up, he’s met with an unexpected encounter.

Harry……and Frankie.

Louis freezes, his gaze shifting between them, silently begging that Harry hasn’t noticed what he conceals behind his back.

“Nice to see you again. Sorry, I can’t stop and talk.”

Harry grapples with disappointment, having granted Louis some much needed space as he had requested. Nevertheless, he manages a smile and nod, gracefully turning on his heel with Frankie in tow.

Seeing Harry, for some inexplicable reason, propels Louis to quicken his pace on the way home. Despite the lack of communication, he half-expected Harry to have retreated home to LA by now, yet the relentless pursuit seems to continue. Unsure whether to applaud the persistence or acknowledge the sheer arrogance, Louis is yet again left with conflicting emotions.

As he opens the door, Louis makes a beeline for a refreshing glass of water. Despite the pharmacy being a short distance away, the stroll proves a welcome breath of fresh air, especially after a week of battling illness. However, he can’t ignore the realisation that he’s a bit out of shape.

After placing the glass in the sink, he pauses for a moment, taking the time to contemplate the significance of what he’s about to undertake.

Knock knock knock

Sometimes in moments where we are interrupted, are often also the very same times where we learn about grace and acceptance and even forgiveness.

Louis inhales deeply, fervently hoping that whoever awaits him doesn’t mind the lingering scent of his own body odour because a shower is undoubtedly in order.

As fate would have it, like peanut butter to jelly, it’s Harry who greets him as he opens the door.

“Hello again.” Harry utters, his eyes holding a mixture of uncertainty and something more profound.

“What are you doing here?” Louis questions, his tone tinged with a hint of guarded curiosity.

With a sigh of relief that they are finally alone, Harry nervously bites his lip, a habit that speaks volumes of his internal conflict.

“Look, I’m sorry for following you back here. Please, Lou.” Harry implores, a vulnerability breaking through his usual composed demeanour. “I want to be here for that.”

Louis, caught between confusion and skepticism, gives Harry a searching look, the air heavy with the weight of whatever “that” may entail. But Louis is pretty sure he already knows what he means.

“I saw what you had, Lou. I saw the test.”

Annnnd fuck. There it was.

Louis, without a word, steps aside, allowing Harry into the room. His demeanour is firm, sassy, yet snappy, a defence mechanism against the vulnerability he isn’t ready to fully confront. He doesn’t say much, his focus solely on opening the packet of the pregnancy test. Ignoring Harry’s attempts at small talk, he proceeds with deliberate nonchalance.

Harry, undeterred by Louis’ icy demeanour, keeps trying to make conversation, asking about Louis’ well-being and whether there’s any news on Saxon. Each inquiry is met with a pointed look or a dismissive remark. The room remains charged with awkwardness, the silence broken only by the crinkling of the packet in Louis’ hands, laying bare the complexity of this outcome.

As Louis finally unwrapped the test kit, his eyes met Harry’s for the first time, the flicker of fear unmistakable in their depths. Harry didn’t need to be a mind reader to sense the apprehension radiating from Louis.

“I’m not pregnant.” Louis stated flatly before even making a move towards the bathroom, his voice betraying a hint of fear amidst the brave facade.

Harry simply nodded in response, the weight of the unspoken conversation that is really needed between them seeming to hang heavy in the air.

“Do you feel any symptoms?” Harry’s voice was soft, tinged with genuine concern.

Louis snatched the box from the table, striding purposefully towards the bathroom. “No, Harry. I don’t feel anything.”

But they both knew it was a blatant lie. Louis had felt the unusual tightness in his abdomen, the subtle cramps dismissed as mere remnants of his recent illness and it scared the living shit out of him.

And as Louis disappeared behind the bathroom door, Harry was left alone with his thoughts, the echoes of their unvoiced fears reverberating in the silence.

Louis felt the weight of a thousand heartbeats thundering in his chest as he emerged from the bathroom, his movements slow and deliberate. He placed the pregnancy test face down on the kitchen table, the silence in the room so tangible it felt suffocating.

Harry watched him with a mix of anticipation and anxiety as Louis’ legs bounced nervously. It felt like an eternity before Harry finally turned to face him, his expression unreadable.

“I’m not going to be upset if it is positive.” Harry blurted out, the words intended to be reassuring but instead becoming the catalyst for Louis’ unravelling emotions.

Louis blinked, disbelief flashing in his eyes before a flicker of anger ignited within him. He stood abruptly, his chair scraping against the floor, his voice laced with fury.

“Well I will be, Harry. What, you think I’d be okay with this, with just replacing the kid I lost with another one? My god, and don’t think ive forgotten about, what was her name Harry? Oh right, yeah, Frankie.”

Harry’s own shock mirrored Louis’, his words of solace now sounding hollow and inept. He had thought he was being supportive, but now he could see the raw pain etched on Louis’ face, the wounds from their past still fresh and tender. Fuck, why had he said that, why didn’t he just keep quiet?

Tears pricked at Louis’ eyes as he turned away, the reality of their situation crashing down on him like a tidal wave. The silence that followed was heavy with shattered expectations, the once peaceful kitchen now a battleground of bi-polar feelings.

As the tension between them sizzled with painful truths, Louis’ heart pounded in his ears, the weight of the pregnancy test on the table a symbol of their fragile bond teetering on the edge of collapse.

“That wasn’t what I meant, Lou. I simply meant having a baby with you wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.” Harry clarified, his voice soft with sincerity.

Louis exhaled slowly, his shoulders tense with unspoken anxiety as he sank back into the chair, running a shaky hand through his tousled hair.

“You already had one.” Louis murmured, his gaze fixed on a point in the distance as if staring into a memory that Harry was pretty sure he wasn’t a part of.

Just then, the low, insistent buzz of the timer Louis had set on his phone shattered the heavy silence, both men startling at the sudden intrusion. Their eyes locked, nerves dancing beneath the surface as they shared a fleeting moment of shared trepidation, the impending outcome of the pregnancy test looming over them like a storm cloud ready to combust.

“Can you look at it? I don’t want to.” Louis asked calmly and politely, his voice tinged with a vulnerability that Harry had never heard before.

Desperate for a result, Harry reached out towards the pregnancy test, but Louis’ hand came to rest on top of Harry’s, halting him unexpectedly.

“Wait” Louis whispered, his eyes searching Harry’s face for an unknown answer, a plea for understanding evident in his gaze.

Harry hesitated, unsure of what was to come, his mind racing with a thousand anxieties and what-ifs. He assumed Louis merely needed a moment to gather his thoughts, to brace himself for whatever news the test would bring. But the truth was, Harry wasn’t prepared for the words that followed.

“I need you to promise me something.” Louis began, his voice barely a whisper, and with hearing that Harry wasn’t too sure he wanted to hear the rest.

The sadness in Louis’ eyes was a stark contrast to the determination in his voice, a plea for unity and unwavering support in the face of uncertainty. Harry felt his heart constrict with a mixture of fear and admiration for the man sitting before him.

As Louis gazed at Harry, a wave of sad nostalgia washed over him. He couldn’t help but reflect on the first time he saw Harry, remembering the nervous excitement that accompanied those early days. Now, looking at the familiar features of Harry’s face, hearing the same voice that once sparked butterflies in his stomach, Louis marveled at how those feelings had transformed. Despite the familiarity, there was a profound shift within him. Louis felt a deep sense of knowing, an understanding of what was needed and what was best in this moment. The contrast between then and now played out in the silent echoes of his thoughts, creating a bittersweet symphony of emotions.

“Harry, if the test comes back positive, I’m willing to do this on my own. You’ve got your own life, a successful career and I don’t want to disrupt all that for you. I did it on my own once before, I can do it again.”

However, Harry wasn’t having any of it.

“No, Lou. If we’re blessed again with another beautiful baby, then it’s meant to be. I will not let you do it alone this time. I will do whatever it takes for both of you, I can promise you that.”

Louis sighed, understanding that Harry wasn’t entirely happy with the situation and that he most certainly wasn’t going to take this next part well at all.

“And if it’s negative, I need… I really need…”

Before Louis could finish, Harry’s voice trembled, accompanied with tears welling up in his eyes, interrupting Louis and finishing the sentence for him.  

“You need me to go back home…for good.”

A lone tear meandered down the cheeks of both Louis and Harry, a poignant manifestation of uninvited pain that lingered between them.

In that moment of raw honesty, a silent understanding passed, binding them together in solidarity as Harry picked up the test and turned it over.

The way Harry is so blank as he stares at the result causes Louis to think about something his mother had once said to him as a young boy.

‘ Life is like a poker game, you don’t get to choose the cards you are dealt, but it is entirely up to you on how you choose to play your hand.’

He can’t decipher what is going through Harry’s eyes. He hasn’t moved, spoken or blinked even, and it’s driving him crazy. But he does know this, they will get through this calmy.

“ Harry?”

Harry delicately places the pregnancy test back on the table, his eyes fixed on Louis with a quiet intensity that seems to hold them both anxiously nervous. The room, hushed and heavy, becomes a canvas for the uncharted emotions they are both feeling. He clears his throat, the sound a soft, almost imperceptible ripple in the stillness, creating a delicate disturbance in the air.

With deliberate slowness, Harry manoeuvres around the table, his steps measured and purposeful. The distance between them narrows as he approaches Louis, a silent acknowledgment of remaining calm. His hand, warm and reassuring, begins a gentle exploration, tracing the curve of Louis’ jaw with a feather-light touch that speaks volumes without uttering a word.

A fleeting second sees Harry lowering his forehead to rest upon Louis’, a tender connection before a slow, soft kiss graces Louis’ forehead. The words, barely audible, escape Harry’s lips like a fragile secret.

“I’m always here for you. Always.”

It’s a declaration that lingers, a lifeline offered in the midst of this outcome. With a slow turn on his heel, Harry moves towards the door, the departure a silent acknowledgment of the complexities that surround them. He doesn’t look back, he simply can’t, leaving the room in a profound silence.

A loud and quick sigh of relief comes from Louis as the door clicks shut, the sound marking the end of a heavy silence, and in that moment, he rediscovers the ability to breathe freely.

It’s a painful silence as Louis rushes to turn over the test. In the stillness, nothing seems to make sense, and for the briefest moment, a wish flickers through him, one where he wishes the negative result wasn’t staring back at him.

Harry’s hurried steps led him striding  down the sidewalk, covering a substantial distance before he collapsed onto the pavement, overcome by the weight of his sorrow, his cries, unrestrained and guttural. Desperation compels him to stifle the sound with trembling hands as he whacks his hand across his mouth.

During the onslaught of his anguish, a torrent of memories floods Harry’s mind, each recollection a vivid snapshot of his memories with Louis. The night of their serendipitous meeting, the bittersweet farewell in London, the first glimpse of Louis on a television screen, the unexpected reunion in a police station bathroom, and the very first conversation they shared in the hospital room – all converge in a poignant montage leading up to this heartbreaking final exit.

He had departed from Louis’ house with an icy detachment, a deliberate coldness that he couldn’t deny. Words and actions seemed impossible, the pain too raw to articulate. Saying goodbye to Louis was an unfathomable notion; after the arduous journey of finding him again, the mere thought of parting ways was unbearable. It wasn’t a farewell in his own eyes; not now at least. Instead, it felt more like a hopeful  ’ until we meet again.’

But that …’ If, when and how ’, is all up to Louis himself.

Until then……Harry will wait for him.

From now, and if needed, until forever .

Like Louis, Harry too believes that life is like a game of poker, only however, he believes that even if you are dealt a bad hand, you still can win the game, but only if you play your cards right.

Harry was finally going home.

🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Sorry ????

Chapter 11- Cold Case

A/N

Beware of small time jump.

I know at least one of you are going to need a tissue in one certain part. Same certain part may have a TW, slight implication of suicide.

Sorry

‘ Breathing becomes a challenge when tears flow so freely that each inhalation feels like a stab of pain. It dawns on you that drawing in any amount of air is a bloody struggle. Yet, it’s not limited to those moments alone; every passing second, every day, the act of breathing transforms into a formidable task. Simultaneously, you eventually become keenly aware that safeguarding yourself from the clutches of sadness requires an inevitable defence against the joyful intrusion of happiness.”

🚨

Over the past three months, Louis navigated the treacherous terrain of a challenging journey contending with an onslaught of emotions that transcended into depression. Through sheer resilience, he managed to extract himself from the suffocating depths of despair, finding glimmers of hope and moments of peace. The journey, though slow, seemed to herald a promising upward trajectory in Louis’ life. However, the fragile stability he mistakenly built is walking dangerously across a fine line . A series of unforeseen events are about to conspire in order to drag him back into the clutches of his inner demons, signalling the beginning of a downward spiral that threatens to unravel the hard-won progress he fought so diligently to achieve.

Louis switches on the television, expecting a mere distraction, but to his dismay, a talk show segment unfolds, delving into Saxon’s case. The host, lacking empathy, plunges into a narrative that slashes through Louis’ patience. A surge of emotions overtakes him as the host, with a callous edge, weaves jokes that cut to the core. Laughter from the studio audience becomes a dissonant chorus as the host, identified as “Jimmy Fallon” launches into a cruel narrative, insinuating negligence on Louis’ part and weaving a macabre tale of Harry’s supposed familiarity with Saxon – a tasteless joke of how Harry knew Saxon all along, he just couldn’t see him, a ghostly presence they said, a dig at Harry’s paranormal profession. As the jokes pivot to Harry, the TV screen transforms into a canvas for Louis’ escalating torment. Fallon’s words cut through the air like a relentless assault, mocking Harry’s connection to Saxon, portraying him as a ghostly puppet master.

The rage within Louis is an inferno fueled by more than just the tasteless jokes on the talk show. It’s a volcanic fury born from the incessant recurrence of Harry’s face, an unwelcome apparition haunting every facet of Louis’ daily life. The amalgamation of people on TV screens, the casual chatter in stores, it all converges into a maddening chorus. Overheard conversations coalesce into an unrelenting litany, each mention of Harry’s name a jarring reminder that overshadows the search for Saxon.

The fixation on Harry became a frustrating diversion, pulling focus away from the urgent quest for their missing child. The frustration, a venomous concoction of despair and fury, simmers within Louis, intensifying with each sighting of Harry’s phantom-like presence in the sea of faces. It’s a cruel irony that amplifies the sense of helplessness, as if the universe conspires to make Harry the centre of attention, eclipsing the vital search for Saxon.

The bitterness of these jests infiltrates Louis’ core, igniting a visceral rage within him. In a burst of unbridled fury, Louis seizes a Jim Beam bottle, a volatile embodiment of his imminent anger. The arc of the bottle mirrors the trajectory of Louis’ unravelling composure as it hurtles towards the television screen.

The shattering glass reflects the fracture in Louis’ composure, the violence of his action a desperate attempt to obliterate the source of his torment. Louis, consumed by a tempest of anger, sits amidst the debris – a very visual display of his profound frustration. The cruel mockery, far from just a fleeting annoyance, has left an indelible mark on Louis’ psyche, an anguished reminder of the public’s callousness in the face of personal tragedy.

Louis paced around the room, the heaviness of the late night talk show clinging to him like an unwanted shadow. Feeling the need to escape, Louis talked himself into going for a walk. The crisp night air greeted him outside, a welcome contrast to the stifling atmosphere inside. He strolled through the quiet streets, the occasional rustle of leaves providing a subtle soundtrack to his thoughts. An hour later, he returned, the rhythm of his steps having granted him a semblance of calm.

Entering his apartment, Louis surveyed the aftermath of his earlier emotional outpour. With methodical precision, he began to clean up the scattered remnants of a momentary lapse. The room slowly transformed, regaining its composure alongside him.

Feeling a strange detachment, he moved to the bathroom and stepped into the shower. The water cascaded over him, a cleansing ritual for both body and mind. Louis stood there, resembling a statue, the droplets falling with a rhythmic consistency. His thoughts remained suspended, swirling like tornados in the silence.

Exiting the shower, he moved mechanically through the routine of getting ready for bed. He switched off the light, seeking refuge in the darkness. Just as his eyelids drooped with exhaustion, a faint buzz interrupted the quiet. A text message from Detective Garcia illuminated his phone screen, asking him to come into the station in the morning. A knot tightened in his stomach as he hoped for a glimmer of positive news in the face of unpredictability. With a silent prayer, he closed his eyes, the room shrouded in a hushed anticipation of what tomorrow might bring.

🚨

Detective Garcia occupied the chair opposite Louis, her gaze carrying a weight that matched the gravity of the news she bore. The atmosphere in the room grew tense, the quiet hum of the fluorescent lights overhead seemingly amplifying the impending revelation. Louis, his anxiety palpable, clutched the chair’s edge, his knuckles turning ghostly pale in a desperate attempt to anchor himself.

“Mr. Tomlinson.” Detective Garcia commenced, her voice measured, “I regret to inform you that after exhaustive efforts and a thorough investigation, we’ve reached a point where new leads are scarce, and the available evidence has offered no further progress in finding your son, Saxon.” A chill coursed down Louis’ spine. He fixated on Detective Garcia, his eyes seeking some semblance of understanding in her composed demeanour.

Louis, overcome with emotion, sat in silence, tears flowing uncontrollably. The room became a witness to his anguish, the sound of his stifled sobs filling the void between Detective Garcia’s carefully chosen words. His lips trembled, rendering him momentarily speechless as he grappled with the magnitude of the what was happening. Detective Garcia, maintaining her professional facade, pressed on.

“As a result, we’ve made the difficult decision to cease active search efforts, and the case will now be classified as a cold case.”

Detective Garcia observed Louis closely, attuned to the emotional turbulence that gripped him. She continued, her voice steady in the emotional maelstrom.

“I understand the pain and anguish you must be experiencing, and I want to express my deepest condolences. Our team has worked tirelessly to explore every avenue, but, unfortunately, we’ve come to this juncture.”

Louis looked away, momentarily averting his gaze from the harsh reality unravelling before him. Detective Garcia spoke with a gentle yet resolute tone, her words navigating the intricate emotional tapestry.

“I assure you that we remain committed to providing support, and should any new information surface, we will revisit the case.”

She slid a folder across the table, containing all the available information on the investigation.

“In the meantime, we have resources available to assist you during this challenging time, including support services and counselling. Please take the time you need, and if there’s anything else we can do, don’t hesitate to reach out.”

Louis abruptly rose from the meeting with Detective Garcia, a sudden surge of frustration propelling him towards the exit. Garcia, sensing his urgency, called out to him, her words hanging in the air like a hesitant plea. Caught in the whirlwind of his emotions, Louis turned back, his parting words escaping with unintended sharpness. “Thanks for all the help.”

He didn’t mean for it to sound so curt, but Garcia, seasoned in the delicate dance of empathy, caught the undertone. Her gaze softened, understanding the storm raging within him.

“I’m sorry, Louis. I really am.”

She offered her apology as a lifeline extended across the personal chasm that had opened up between them.

Louis left the station, the heavy door closing behind him with a resolute thud. Only halfway home, a divergence caught his attention—the liquor store, a detour from the familiar path. The neon glow of the sign beckoned, promising a temporary escape from the realities that were held captive in his mind.

Not long after, Oli found himself confronted by a Louis bearing the weight of distress that words struggled to convey. The disarray in Louis’ appearance had his eyes reflecting a silent plea for help. Oli, perceptive to the implication, opened his door to a friend seeking refuge from the shit storm he could never escape.

Oli needed to help and be there for his best friend. While Louis, well, he needed to just forget his problems.

🚨

In the midst of a night filled with laughter and tears, more of the latter, Louis finds himself in an alcohol-induced fellowship with Oli.

A very ‘heavy’ night of drinking.

The revelry takes an unexpected turn when Oli succumbs to the intoxication and slips into unconsciousness, passing out on the lounge.

After indulging in numerous bottles of beer, rounds of vodka shots, and even reluctantly surrendering to a glass of wine when all other options had run dry, Louis lets himself sit in silence, staring at the kitchen table like he somehow thought it would provide him with some answers. There is no doubt about it now, the room, a recent sanctuary for their boisterous laughter, is now draped in heartache, the type that always seems to re-visit him whenever he feels alone.

His focus shifts to the lounge, where Oli is sprawled out—the aftermath of their ’ Let’s see how much we can drin k’ endeavour. The ambiance captures the essence of his peaceful unconsciousness illustrating the silent tale of a night thoroughly enjoyed.

Fueled by the misguided bravado of intoxication, Louis, In a fateful decision, decides to initiate an Instagram live session.

Unbeknownst to him, the virtual world is about to witness a side of Louis that he may come to regret in the cold light of sobriety.

With a slightly unsteady hand, Louis fumbles for his phone, his movements exaggeratedly careful as if navigating a delicate dance with stupidity. The screen comes to life in a cascade of colours, revealing his face in the dimly lit room. After a momentary pause,  his thumb hovers over the “Go Live” button, a hesitant click that opens a virtual gateway to express feelings he had been keeping locked away inside.

As the live stream begins, Louis, fueled by a swirl of alcohol-induced courage, launches into a slurred and passionate speech. He gestures animatedly, each movement punctuated by a laugh or a sigh. However, unbeknownst to him, the impact of his words is lost in the silence, for his thumb unknowingly obscures the microphone.

A perplexed frown creases Louis’ forehead as he glances at the screen, becoming puzzled.

“Is this fucking thing even on, Jesus Christ!” he mutters to himself, his frustration evident and not going unnoticed. With an irritated tap on the phone, he lets it drop to the table, seemingly giving up on the technical challenge.

Yet, in a surprising turn of fate, his intoxicated dexterity prevails. The phone now sits at the perfect angle, capturing both his dishevelled appearance and the chaotic charm of his rambling speech.

Louis’ once-coiffed hair is now a chaotic tangle, dampened by a sheen of perspiration induced by the fervor of alcohol. Each strand seems to have lost its way, rebelliously scattering in every conceivable direction. His choice of attire, an old t-shirt bearing the battle scars of time with a couple of holes along the bottom hem, stands testament to the downward spiral that had transpired.

The heat from the alcohol has unleashed a torrent of perspiration, beads of moisture clinging to his skin, creating an unintentional glisten in the ambient light. As he leans into the live stream, the camera inadvertently capturing the unruly disarray of his appearance, Louis becomes an unwitting exhibition of the raw authenticity that only intoxication can reveal.

To the viewers’ relief, the digital realm spares them the olfactory assault of his alcohol-laden breath. Louis, blissfully unaware of this small mercy, continues his animated monologue. The camera magnifies the details of his current state, a collage of imperfections that, despite their unpolished nature, only add to the strangely captivating allure of the scene. As Louis slumps back into his chair, Oli remains just out of the camera’s view as Louis leans forward.

He directs his gaze squarely at the Doncaster police station, his countenance marked by a poignant mix of sorrow and irritation. The lines etched on his face tell a story of frustration, a narrative fueled by the profound vexation simmering within him. In a heartfelt address, he voices the profound disappointment in the authorities who seem to have relinquished their pursuit of justice for his baby boy. His words, laden with a pitiful sincerity, convey a steadfast refusal to surrender. Louis, engulfed in heartbreak, pledges an unwavering commitment to finding the truth, a vow that resonates with an undercurrent of melancholy.

Louis, his voice tinged with a heartbreaking mix of sorrow and frustration, begins to address the police. Louis’ voice trembles, the edges of despair evident in every word. A fleeting attempt to regain composure falters as he clutches towards the phone but retreats his hand immediately, fingers shaking.

“You’ve… you helped a lot, huh? Well, not enough, clearly, cos he isn’t here, he isn’t home yet, is he.” he mumbles, the bitterness palpable even through the haze of intoxication.

As if wrestling with his own anguish, Louis pulls himself back, the sudden shift in his demeanour reflecting the torment within. His words spill out, punctuated by snuffles and an unsteady breath.

“You’ve totally given up on my baby boy, haven’t you?” he whispers, the question hanging in the air, heavy with accusation. A profound sadness envelops him, and in a voice choked with grief, he continues, “But I won’t. I can’t.” His free hand clutches at his own chest, as if trying to contain the pain.

“It’s tearing me apart to see you all just… just forget about him.” Louis confesses, the vulnerability laid bare. The mere mention of his baby boy caused a quiver in his voice. “He’s my little lad, and he deserves to be found!” A desperate plea, the words echoing with the ache of a shattered father, who has had enough, enough of being hurt, enough of grieving, enough of listening to the media, enough of the police letting him down and frankly, he has had enough of missing his child.

“I won’t let him fade away like he never mattered.” he declares, his resolve cutting through the despair. The weight of the situation crushes him, but defiance lingers in his eyes. “It crushes me that you’ve given up, but I won’t. I’ll keep fighting, searching, doing whatever it takes until I find the truth and until I bloody find him.”

Each word is a solemn vow, and with a shaky breath, he adds. “My boy deserves more than being abandoned, and I won’t rest until we are reunited. I can’t… I can’t let him be forgotten like this.” His fingers brush away the tears.

A heavy silence blankets the room, a momentary reprieve that grants Louis the opportunity to embark on a desperate mission to extract the last remnants of wine from the bottle. With trembling hands and a determined resolve, he raises the bottle to his lips, attempting to drain it dry. However, in this act of fleeting defiance against his overwhelming emotions, a small dribble escapes the bottle, missing its intended target. A frustrated expletive slips through his lips, a raw manifestation of the internal chaos.

“For fuck sakes.”

Louis, a stranger to the realm of Instagram Live and currently navigating liqour fog thoughts, remains blissfully unaware of the multitude of eyes fixated on him. Oblivious to the growing audience, he fails to register the significant number of people tuning in. In the aftermath of Saxon’s disappearance, a surge of thousands had swarmed to follow him, drawn by a collective curiosity and shared concern. Yet, in the midst of his own turbulent thoughts, the digital sea of spectators remains an uncharted territory for Louis, a detail lost in the whirlwind of this breakdown.

His gaze pierces through the camera, a haunting image that resonates painfully, particularly for one viewer who watches with a growing sense of unease. The scene unfolds like a raw wound, the stark intensity of Louis’ stare becoming increasingly difficult for that particular viewer to witness.

The passage of time feels like an eternity as he remains silent, the prolonged gaze revealing the tear-streaked journey down his cheeks.

“ Saxon… if you can hear me.”

The viewer count skyrockets, ascending to unprecedented heights as an influx of people join the unfolding emotional journey, drawn to Louis’ heart-wrenching narrative.

Louis, his voice trembling with a blend of sorrow and love, whispers into the phone.

“Hey there, little man… it’s me, Daddy.”

Unaware of the unseen audience, Louis remains oblivious to the countless souls already shedding tears in empathy. If only he could fathom that he isn’t traversing the path of sorrow alone, that in this shared moment of anguish, a multitude of hearts beat in harmony with his own.

“I hope wherever you are, you can hear me. I just want to tell you how much I miss you. Every day feels like a lifetime without your laughter, without those little footsteps running around the house.” Louis takes a deep breath as tears stream down his face. “God I miss your cuddles.“

A sigh, heavy with the weight of longing, escapes him as he continues. “I love you more than words can ever say. I wish I could tuck you into bed, read you a story, and hear you say ’nighty-night’ again. It hurts baby, it really really hurts not having you here.”

Louis tilts his head back, facing the unforgiving ceiling, a silent plea for strength. He endeavours to regain composure, a momentary battle against the rising tide of emotions. His head, heavy with the weight of heartache, descends gracefully back into the frame.

“I hope you’re okay, sweetheart. I hope you’re warm and safe. Daddy’s been searching for you everywhere, asking everyone for help, but you’re still not here. I want you to know that I am still searching, and I will never stop. Do you hear that munchkin, I will NEVER stop. It breaks my heart not knowing where you are or if you’re scared. I’d give anything to hold you close again and tell you that everything will be okay.”

Louis pauses, attempting to hold back tears that relentlessly cascade down his cheeks. He knows it’s a fruitless effort; the tears are already carving their lonely paths, tracing the contours of his grief-stained face.

“I hope, with every fibre of my being, that wherever you are, someone is looking after you…. I…. I imagine you in a place filled with kindness and warmth, surrounded by caring souls who understand the precious spirit you carry, why, because I have to sweetheart. I can’t allow myself to imagine anything else.”

The mere notion of Saxon enduring harm, feeling lost, hurt, or scared, stirs a torrent of tears in his eyes and kindles a fierce anger within his chest. Imagining him in any distress is a visceral ache that cuts deep, a pain that words struggle to encapsulate. He can’t allow those nasty words to circulate in his head predator, child sex-trafficing, murder, because if he does, it might literally kill him.

All he cares about is Saxon’s well-being, praying for any sign or assurance that he is indeed cradled in safety somewhere, hopefully shielded from the harshness of this cruel world we live in.

“Oh Saxon, my heart aches baby, I just want to see your little innocent face once more, to hear the sound of your voice, and to hold you in my arms. Be strong, be courageous and know that I am always thinking of you. You are my everything, my reason to breathe. I will never give up on you. I promise. I’m so sorry Saxon, daddy is so very sorry this happened baby.”

The influx of comments on the livestream, unnoticed by Louis, ascends into the thousands, as the screen is inundated with an unending cascade of crying emojis.

“You’re my little sunshine, and daddy will never stop looking for you. I’ll keep hoping and praying that you’ll come back to me. Until then, know that I love you more than anything in this world. Always and forever Sax, always and forever.”

And like the flick of a switch and mostly due to his lack of rational thinking, for a second he loses control when his thoughts turn towards whoever has his son.

“ To the person who has him, If you hurt him, or touch him in any way innapropriate I swear to fucking-”.

He pauses and begins to frown, his outburst halting as Detective Reign taunts his mind. ‘ Don’t antagonise anyone. You don’t want whoever has Saxon to retaliate.’

In the haze of his thoughts and distress Louis seems to drift away. Once more, his words ricochet into a different realm of emotion. He prepares to conclude the live stream, his slurred words a heart-wrenching plea for forgiveness and promise.

“ I’ll endure this self-hatred, for losing him. The ache, the guilt, the pain, the loneliness, I’ll bear it for as long as every breath fills my lungs. Saxon, Mum, Harry. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me. I looked away for only two seconds, just two damned, fucking seconds!“ Louis confesses, and all everyone can see and hear is the heavy remorse and the tremor in his words, as he drowns himself with the unbearable pain of a momentary lapse that changed everything.

Anger surges through him, a tempest of frustration at the cruel twist of fate. “TWO FUCKING SECONDS” he growls, the raw emotion catching in his throat. The relentless turmoil gives way to a defeated surrender as he eventually settles himself, but the self-blame remains in place, where it will lay dormant until Saxon is back in his arms.

“I won’t stop looking ever, never will I stop looking for him.” he pledges with a solemn determination, the commitment underscored by a deep, unrelenting ache. As he faces the camera, a tortured expression etched across his face, he mutters. “They’re givin’ up, Harry. They are not trying anymore. Our little boy, a cold case now. Nothing but a fucking cold case to them.” The reality hits him like a tidal wave, triggering a desperate hyperventilation.

In the somber aftermath, he adds, almost inaudibly, “Gonna keep looking I will, I promise, until the day I die, and hopefully, that day won’t be too much longer.” The words a whispered admission of a pain too profound to endure, were not intended for others to hear, but hauntingly they were audible in the crushing silence that follows.  

🚨

Each tap of Jay’s relentless knocks pound through the quiet of the night on Oli’s door.  After ten minutes of waiting for any sign of movement beyond the front entrance, the door creaks open slowly revealing Oli swaying on the threshold, a portrait of drunken instability.

Jay’s sparing use of profanity acts like a sudden jolt, a linguistic anomaly that pierces through them both.

“ Fucking hell, you are a bloody mess. Where is he?”

Amidst the chaos and Oli’s intoxicated stupor, the unexpected expletives she deploys serve as verbal beacons, momentarily snapping Oli back to a heightened state of awareness. The contrast in language, a rarity from Jay, becomes a vivid expression of the need to find her son….and fast.

“ I said, where is he? Oli darling I swear, if he is hurt… I don’t understand why you let him go online like that.”

“ Huh?”

Seizing the opportunity, Jay pushes past, the door yielding reluctantly to the force.

Inside, the search for Louis ensues with a frantic intensity. Rooms are combed through, every corner examined, but Louis remains elusive. The suspense escalates as Jay’s eyes dart around, desperately hoping to catch a glimpse of her son. The realization hits hard – Louis is not within the familiar walls of Oli’s house.

In a surge of panic, Jay races to the window, a desperate lookout for any sign of Louis. The void left by an absent car in the driveway is a chilling confirmation of his absence. The car, once parked in the back , is now a vessel navigating the unknown, driven by a heartbroken parent caught in the dangerous embrace of drink driving.

“Damn it. Why on earth would he do this? Louis never drinks and drives, he just wouldn’t… Oli, snap out of it. Get yourself together, have a shower, wake up. We’ve got to find him.”

Oli, rightfully perplexed, rubs the back of his neck in confusion.

“I’ve got no clue what the hell is going on right now.”

“ For fuck sakes, forget it. Go to bed.” 

🚨

Thirty minutes earlier.

After having spent all night filming at an ancient ‘haunted’ pub, Harry lies sprawled across his bed, the remnants of sleep still clinging to him as the time clicks over to 10.30am. Under normal circumstances both Niall and Liam would let him sleep in on any other Saturday.  So its easy to say that Harry is surprised to see Niall burst into the room with an urgency that shatters the tranquillity, violently yanking him from the grasp of his peaceful slumber.

The sudden intrusion wrenches Harry from the embrace of sleep, his eyes fluttering open to the disorienting sight of Niall’s concerned expression. It takes a couple of seconds for Harry to transfer from drowsiness to confusion as Niall, agitated and fervent, releases a rapid stream of words, each syllable landing like a thunderous beat because this was too much and too early for Harry considering he had only consumed a couple of hours of rest. 

Niall hurls the phone at Harry, who skillfully catches it with a sudden urgency in one hand. Louis’ anguished eyes stare out from the live stream, the digital abyss reflecting a world of hurt. Worry creases Harry’s face like the rippling surface of water disturbed by a pebble, each line telling a silent tale of empathy.

As Harry fixes his eyes on the screen, he immerses himself in the unfiltered rawness of Louis’ distress compelling him to adjust his posture, sitting upright with an instinctive response. In tandem, Niall takes a place beside him, both rendered motionless, their collective focus held captive by the stark portrayal of pain unravelling on the digital canvas.

It is safe to say that after Harry hears and sees Louis in that state, that Harry impulsively boards the first available plane departing from LA. Unfazed by the potential reception awaiting him, he’s driven solely by an intuitive sense that Louis needs him. A nagging concern suggests that Louis may be on a precarious mental edge, perhaps contemplating actions that could harm himself. This notion propels Harry into fast determined action, a silent promise to be there for Louis. As the plane cuts through the sky, an anxious knot tightens in Harry’s chest, mirroring the turbulence of his thoughts and the ambiguity of the situation miles away.

🚨

Meanwhile in the UK, driving her way through the dark streets, Jay sighs when she notices no car at her first destination, the playground, normally a customary retreat for Louis, revealing itself as vacant. Passing the police station en route to Louis’ house, her vigilant eyes survey each passing road. On Louis’ street, a subtle release accompanies the sight of his car awkwardly parked in the driveway. Its less-than-perfect position is inconsequential; what matters is the assurance that, at least for now, he resides safely within the familiar walls of his own home.

Jay attempts to open the front door only to find it obstinately sealed. Undeterred, she manoeuvres around the back of the house as the night unfolds its shroud around her as she searches for the spare key. The pot plant she is searching for, its leaves whispering tales of neglect, catches her eye. As her fingers inch towards the ground to retrieve the key, a sudden realisation freezes her movements.

There, in the soft dirt not too far away, lies Louis in an abandoned reverie, his gaze fixated on the vast expanse of the night sky. Instead of retrieving the key, Jay approaches slowly with caution and lowers herself to the ground next to him, a silent companion amidst the cosmic theatre above.

Her arm extends, her fingers finding his, a tentative connection that she knew he needed, and herself too, if she were to be honest. Louis, stirred by the warmth of her touch, succumbs to a torrent of tears. He doesn’t say anything as he turns towards her, his face etched with the pain of a soul caught in the throes of despair. In the silent communion of shared sorrow, Louis confesses between sobs, a vulnerable admission that life loses its luster without his son.

“I’m drowning, Mum. The thought of living without him is tearing me apart, and I don’t have the strength to face it anymore. I can’t do it, I really can’t , I don’t want to live without him anymore, I don’t want to.”

Jay clings to the hope that these are merely inebriated ramblings, but her parental instincts act like a subtle warning, nudging her to be vigilant, urging her to keep a closer eye on him.

“Don’t say that Louis. There’s a future filled with possibilities, and Saxon wouldn’t—” Jay’s words falter as Louis, overwhelmed, insists on pouring out his heart. She clings to him even tighter, becoming a lifeline as they weep, the shared pain binding them motionless on the ground.

“ No! There is no reason to go on, I don’t want to live and go on with my life, there’s no light left in this house without him, no joy. He was my everything, the reason I felt whole and truly happy. But he’s gone, Mum. I can feel the emptiness settling into my bones, a certainty that life will never be the same again. He isn’t coming home mum, I’m never going to see him again.” he utters between heart-wrenching sobs.

In a desperate attempt to offer comfort, she fights againsn’t her own tears, wrapping him in a tight embrace reminiscent of the way she cradled him in childhood.

“ Louis, sweetheart.” 

She refrains from uttering the hollow assurance that everything will be okay, fully aware that the road ahead may not promise solace.

“Make it stop, Mum, please. I can’t endure it any longer. I don’t want to go on if—” His plea hangs in the air, a desperate cry that punctuates the stillness of the night.

The revelation pierces Jay’s heart, an acute ache that reverberates through the quiet darkness.

They remain there, two souls tethered by grief. The passage of time blurs until Jay, attuned to the unspoken yearning for rest and comfort, rises with a gentle resolve. She lifts Louis, who has settled enough to regain a semblance of sobriety. A soft smile graced her lips, a fragile reassurance, as she guided him towards the refuge of the house.

Having settled him into bed, Jay arranges a glass of water within his reach, her eyes lingering on her son. As she lets her thoughts meander into the unsettling hypothetical of reversed roles, a lump forms in her throat at the mere notion of losing one of her own. Leaning down, she places a gentle kiss on his forehead, whispering “I love you.” With a tender closure of the door, she retreats to the kitchen, her footsteps a solemn echo. There, she makes a call, the dial tone resonating with the silent weight of a mother’s concern.

“ Hey. I found him. He was really drunk and a bit dehydrated. I managed to get him into bed but-” She sniffs, holding back tears.

“Oh god, he’s got me worried. The things he said, it’s just…he is scaring me.”

Wiping her eyes, Jay surveys Louis’ living space, lowering herself onto the lounge with a heavy heart. 

“ Thank god you called me when you did. I was asleep when the whole instagram thing happened. Oli? Yeah he was out of it…..I mean it’s up to you of course….Alright. See you soon, and thank you, I mean it. Good night, Harry.”

🚨

Louis awakens to the muted ambiance of the next day, the clock indicating that it’s very late in the afternoon. 

The dwindling daylight filters through the windows, casting a subdued glow across the room. Louis, having slept for an extensive 14 hours, carries the residue of both fatigue and restless contemplation. He has been awake for an hour but the prospect of facing his mother has been a daunting mountain to climb. A vague recollection of her helping him out of his shoes and jeans fuels an undercurrent of embarrassment.

Unaware of the unfolding drama with the mysterious Instagram incident, his phone remains a distant puzzle. Summoning the courage, he ventures on a mission to retrieve his phone, now recollected to be left in the car.

Nearing the bottom of the staircase, Louis halts, catching the faint murmur of voices. The sound is muffled, leaving him straining to decipher the words, but the distance plays tricks on his ears, rendering the conversation an indistinct hum that eludes any comprehension.

Attempting to disguise his footsteps proves futile in the ageing house, where each creak is an inadvertent announcement of his presence. As he steps into the lounge room, his mother emerges from the kitchen, greeting him with a modest smile.

“I was wondering when you’d finally make an appearance. Good to see you got some sleep. How’s your head feeling?”

Disregarding her words, he remains in a state of bewilderment, a question tumbling from his lips.

“Who were you talking to?”

His mother, immersed in her task of drying the cup in her hand with the tea towel, casually suggests he must have heard the TV, that it was no one. However, as Louis takes note, the room remains silent, devoid of any television chatter. The realisation dawns on him—the TV isn’t even on.

“ Hmm.”

Jay approaches him cautiously, her steps measured, unsure of how to address the events of the previous night and eager for a change of topic.

“Your little spectacle last night made the headlines. Darling, I know you’re going through a tough time, and I want to support you. Next time you feel down come to me and I -”

“What are you talking about?” Louis confusingly interjects. “ What do you mean by my little spectacle? Also, you didn’t need to stay here, you should have been at home with the girls.”

“ No. I was right where I was needed.”

A familiar expression graces his mother’s face, a look he knows all too well. It’s the unmistakable aftermath of his own ‘fuck ups’ look. The instinct to sprint for his phone claws at him, yet a counterforce restrains him, a wavering internal struggle between urgency and hesitation.

“ I think you better find your phone, love.”

The air carries a subtle tension, as Louis, now aware of the incongruity, decides to leave the room, propelled by the desire to retrieve his phone, hidden away outside in the car.

Jay remains rooted in her position, watching as Louis exits and re enters through the backdoor after collecting his phone. The hushed exchange of words is conspicuously absent as he hurriedly ascends the stairs, foretelling an impending rude awakening of what he is about to discover.

After hearing the door close upstairs ,she returns to the kitchen where she resumes her dishwashing task at hand.

Emerging from concealment behind the kitchen wall, Harry faces Jay, who advises against hiding.

“ This seems silly. You shouldn’t have to hide.You are both grown men for goodness sakes.”

With a sigh, Harry softly confides.

“Louis doesn’t want to see me, he wont like that i’m here. “ and Jay, now understanding, nods in acknowledgment.

“ Anyway. As I was saying before we were interrupted.”

In a surprising turn, Harry discloses that he has something meant for Louis and implores Jay to be the bearer of this offering.

“I landed a couple of hours ago and went straight to the police station.  I have something I need you to give to Louis.”

Their eyes lock, a subtle unease flickering across Jay’s expression. Harry, fidgeting, delves into the pocket of his coat, tightly gripping an object within his grasp. As Jay extends her palm, the exchange unfolds painfully slowly with anticipation.

The atmosphere is charged with a quiet intensity as Harry unclenches his fist. A gasp escapes Jay when the concealed item comes into view. The room holds its breath as the significance of what she sees settles in, leaving an indelible mark on how she will forever perceive Harry Styles.

“Harry, Oh my, HOW?”

Jay’s astonishment is so profound that she fumbles, dropping the item, her gaze fixated on it in sheer disbelief.

“When I left for LA, the first night back, I had my lawyer, Peter, dig into it. He worked his magic, and, well, he succeeded. I needed to do this for him. I know it means alot to him.”

Jay remains incredulous, unable to comprehend the revelation unfolding before her.

“You need to give this to him yourself, Harry. Please.”

“ No. I can’t.”

As Harry rises from his seat, Jay detects the urgency in his movement, sensing an impending swift departure.

“I need to go.” he states abruptly.

Concerned, Jay attempts to address practical matters. “Harry, how much did the lawyer cost? Let me repay you and—”

“Absolutely not. I wanted to do this for Louis.” Harry’s head lowers, his words weighted with sincerity. “Thank you, Jay, for not believing what you read or saw, for listening to me on the phone about Frankie and—” He pauses to take a quick breath. “Louis means everything to me; I hope you know that.”

Jay, moved by the depth of Harry’s gratitude, reassures him, “I do, and like I said, he will come around eventually. Are you sure you don’t want to—”

“No, please. This intimate moment must be reserved solely for the two who shared a deeper history with Saxon. You guys knew him better than me. I didn’t even get the chance.”

And fuck, that broke Jays heart in two.

The fracture of her heart feels almost audible as a painful ache settles in Jay’s chest.

“ Call if you need anything please. You know where to find me, and Jay, please don’t tell him it was from me.”

“ Harry.”

And with that, Harry was gone.

Jay remains seated for about ten minutes after Harry’s departure, tears silently streaming down her face at the table as she sobs. Eventually, she musters the strength to wipe her eyes and gather herself before calling out to Louis, who appears moments later.

Despite having ample time to rehearse what to say or how to approach this, the moment she lays eyes on Louis, Jay’s composure crumbles. The gravity of how this revelation will affect him becomes starkly apparent, causing her to momentarily lose focus.

She opens her arms wide and embraces him tightly, gesturing for him to take a seat. Following her instructions, he sits down, his initial concern evident.

“ Mum, what’s going on?”

Jay, wearing a composed demeanour, asks him to hold out his hand and imparts a sentimental message.

“ Sometimes we have to lose something precious in order to gain something priceless. Just know that pain will eventually pass and when it does, you will be stronger.”

Louis witnesses her delicately placing the blue and green toy car in his hands – ‘ Saxon’s broom broom .’

An audible gasp escapes him, and tears involuntarily well up as he fixates on his mother. Frozen, he dare not move, fearing the fragile reality might dissipate.

“ Where? How did, how did you get this? Louis stutters.

Louis’ posture turned rigid and unmoving, appearing hauntingly trapped within the clutches of profound shock. The ambient stillness is pierced by an eerie silence, only broken by the sporadic sounds of his uneven breaths. His once animated features now wear a mask of disbelief, etched with a pallor that hints at the emotional turbulence within. His hands, once steady, now tremble involuntarily, fingers grasping the edges of the table in a futile attempt to anchor himself in a reality that he fears is slipping away. The air hangs heavy encapsulating them both in a bubble of disorienting numbness.

Time seems suspended as he stares at the cherished object, the weight of its return making it hard for him to fathom. Finally, and with courage he didn’t know he possessed, he wiped his face and embraced Jay with a tight hug. Pulling back, he scrutinises her face, his curiosity palpable. There’s a discernible shift in Jay’s demeanour, noticed keenly by Louis, a subtle transformation that leaves him wondering what it is she is hiding.

Jay, not accustomed to deceit and uneasy with lying, wrestles with the truth when Louis questions her. She stumbles over her words, attempting to navigate the delicate balance between honoring Harry’s gesture and withholding information. Louis, perceptive and persistent, senses that something is amiss.

“ Um, well, ah, it was a hard process but um.”

Despite Jay’s efforts to veer away from the truth, she succumbs to the weight of honesty. She admits that Harry played a role, unfortunately not granting his wish to stay out of the situation.

“ Shit.” Jay throws her hands in defeat granting an apologetic smile.

“It was Harry. He didn’t want you to know. He had his lawyer-”

Louis plunges into a stifling silence, his gaze locked on the toy, each wipe across his face an echo of silent sorrow. It appears as though he’s chosen to overlook his mother’s words, but beneath that apparent indifference, an undercurrent of pain ripples through him. His mother, misconstruing his silence as ignorance, remains unaware of the pain within.

In truth, Louis hasn’t ignored the revelation about Harry; instead, he grapples with disbelief and hurt. The emotional turmoil intensifies as he navigates the contradiction of Harry’s unexpected gesture, especially after their strained parting.

Harry had orchestrated this?

His tear-filled gaze remains fixated, unable to tear away from not just a simple toy but a piece of his son he had thought he had lost forever. Interrupting Jay’s attempt to explain, he delicately picks up the toy car.

To an outsider, the desire to sniff the toy might seem unconventional, but for any parent, it carries a profound justification. Louis yearns for any lingering scent, a trace that might evoke the memory of his little boy’s soft, flawless skin.

“ I bet he misses this so much.”

His words crack breaking in a symphony of tears, and Jay, already burdened with guilt for betraying Harry, leans forward to console him.

“ Just as love is a verb, so is faith. The trying times will pass, they always do. Just have patience. You will last through the pain, I promise. There will come a time that you won’t need to bare a fake smile anymore.You will recover baby, how do I know? Because I raised you to be a fighter, to be strong and independent and even though I’m super proud of the man you have become, I also taught you to practise forgiveness.” 

Jay stands and moves towards the staircase.

“ Call Harry….and listen.”

🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Thoughts on the chapter?

Is the storyline progressing okay?

Chapter 12 - Thank You

A/N

Sorry for the long wait. We have been ill. 🥺

🚨

’ When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words.’

Embarrassment had clung to Louis, fueled by the regret of the ill-fated Insta Live that he wished he had never aired. Nasty comments had slashed through his online presence, prompting his withdrawal away from the virtual and toxic online space. He felt shitty more than ever but one thing he had been enjoying was going for a nightly walk. Whether it was to clear his mind or internally search for Saxon he can’t define, either way it makes him feel better afterwards.

Tonight, he strolled through the silent streets, deliberately sidestepping the incessant calls from Garcia that had become a persistent background noise in his neglected phone. He knew it was just a call to scorn him about the live, but he doesn’t give shit anymore. The police station, once a reassuring bastion, had receded into the shadows of his past, replaced by an eerie emptiness and now, he wanted nothing more than to leave it that way.

The remnants of Saxon’s face, once glaring from shop windows and electricity poles, had slowly vanished, leaving behind only a couple of stubborn reminders. The articles in the paper and fleeting mentions on TV were dwindling, slipping away like sand through his fingers. The world seemed to be turning its back on his little boy, erasing the traces of a once-publicised tragedy as if it were an inconvenient memory fading into the recesses of collective forgetfulness.

Upon returning home and after much thought, Louis, fingers tapping on his phone screen, crafted a concise text to Harry, proposing a meeting in a few days. Each word carried a weight of restrained emotion, a subtle dance of conciseness and remorse.

To Harry: “Mum mentioned you’re back. Harry, I can’t fathom how you managed it, but you’ll never grasp the depth of my gratitude for retrieving Saxon’s toy. I’ve been all over the place lately, and the way I compelled you to leave was- I’m just so sorry. Shit, this is hard, um, you wanna meet up for lunch, not tomorrow, the next day maybe?”

The message conveyed a desire for a delay, a need for a brief respite to mend wounds before facing Harry once more. They settled on a specific time, a text, acting as a bridge between two individuals who were both navigating the aftermath of pain, but it held the promise of a meeting that might either heal or deepen the fractures between them.

The following night, Louis stepped into the busy liquor store, and immediately picked up his pace as he approached the shelves adorned with bottles of varying shapes and sizes.

The media’s unrelenting onslaught had painted him as a tarnished figure, and the collective judgement from strangers weighed on him as he sought refuge in the aisles. He doesn’t condone nor appreciate that he has allowed himself to come back here, right back to the very place he deep down knew wasn’t doing him any favours. Yet in the loud aisles, he somehow found a flicker of something, peace maybe, as his eyes remained on which item he fancied. He felt a little shitty at the way he could tell his body was full of desire for just this momentary escape, the same “momentary” escape he feels has become too frequent.

In his quest to drink and forget, he approached the shelf, frustration etched his expression as he struggled to reach for the desired bottle. Fingers grazed the glass surfaces below as he reached for a small bottle, suddenly sub consciously annoyed at his parents once again for providing him with the gift of being short.

Turning to the person behind him, Louis gently tapped a shoulder requesting assistance. The person shifted and turned, making Louis internally hold back a smirk because he is beginning to realise that life is truly dreadful and testing him, like they say though, if fate doesn’t make you laugh, then you simply didn’t get the joke.

Not knowing whether to be suprised or concerned, Louis’ cheeks made the decision for him as he smiled.

Breaking the heavy silence, Louis began by offering a sincere apology, his voice carrying the weight of remorse for past mistreatment.

“Hi.”

Wow Louis, great words, great apology.

As Harry smiles back softly, Louis finally gathers some words, a limited amount of words.

“Is the weather shitty in LA or something?”

The subtle shift in Harry’s expression made Louis realise how his initial comment might have come across.

“Apologies, that sounded rather rude, that wasn’t my intention, sorry.”

It was true, he’s just nervously rambling, and Harry senses that. The nerves are definitely mutual. Unsure of Louis’ reaction to his return to Doncaster, Harry’s heart nearly skipped a beat at Louis’ previous sassy remark.

“It’s all good, Lou. I figured you were just joking.” Harry reassured.

And thank god for that because if this conversation doesn’t take a positive turn, Louis is already contemplating the need to purchase an extra bottle of grog tonight. He shifts awkwardly on his feet, his eyes scanning around the shop avoiding direct eye contact.

The way they had left things when they last parted still felt unfinished and he still felt guilty about it all. So, Gratitude followed his thoughts as he expressed thanks for the broom broom once more.

“Saxon’s car, Harry. It means everything to me, and-”

“Hey, no need for all the thanks. As I’ve always said, I just wanted to help, and in this case, I could actually make a difference. I hope I didn’t overstep or anything, I know it wasn’t my place to-”

Harry stopped talking, noticing the pain in Louis’ eyes. Where it was stemming from he couldn’t tell, but something within him told him to be quiet.

For many people, looking into someone’s eyes can change a whole conversation, but for these two in particular, not only does this fact remain true, but eye contact will always prove more intimate than words will ever be.

Managing to tear his eyes away, Louis clears his throat and musters a smile. Despite the overwhelming desire to hug Harry, he restrains himself.

“This conversation is a bit intense for a liquor store run.” Louis jokes, observing Harry’s charming display of dimples making an impressionable return.

Harry, injecting more humour into the moment, remarked. “Yeah, we gotta stop meeting like this, first London, now Doncaster, where to next?” The laughter persisted, an unexpected warmth returning and bubbling between them as they smiled, a shared realisation that discussing such matters in a liquor store was oddly fitting.

Sensing the need to avoid any missteps and not wanting to prolong this conversation any further incase he fucks up the progress, Harry gracefully smiles, aiming to conclude the conversation swiftly.

“Still seeing you tomorrow, yeah?” he asks.

“Yeah, absolutely, you will yeah, for sure.” Louis responds, inwardly scolding himself for sounding possibly desperate as he watches Harry smile and turn to leave.

As the encounter reached its conclusion, Harry took two steps before turning back, a serious inquiry in his eyes. “You okay?” he asked, though his gaze briefly flickered to the bottles on the shelf. Louis, masking the depths of his turmoil, admitted honestly.

“Not really, but you already knew that. I’ll be fine, not having a big one. Just a couple too, um… numb the pain… speaking of, before you go, can you um?”

Amused, Harry chuckles as he observes Louis nod towards the cider on the top shelf.

“Sure thing, although it feels like dejavu.” he replied, handing over the requested items, however, he struggled to shake off his worry.

“Just a couple?” Harry asked tentatively. He didn’t want to come off as overly parental, but the thought of Louis drinking again after the livestream heightened his anxiety.

“Just a couple.” Louis reassured, mimicking back. “I promise.”

Harry, with the saddest of smiles, turned to leave. The desire to offer more time together kept playing on loop inside Louis mind.

“Hey, Harry.” Louis called, contemplating words he only wished he could say, like the unspoken invitation for Harry’s company, a plea to alleviate his own loneliness and fear.

“Nevermind.” he trailed off. “See you tomorrow.”

🚨

Louis had wrestled with a sleepless night, having consumed more alcohol than intended in a futile attempt to attain some rest. Unluckily, his body seemed to resist the remedy. Throughout the night, he stared blankly at an old cowboy movie, the clock ticking away until it reached 5:45 am.

Fast forward to 11:20 am, with a mere forty minutes remaining before meeting Harry. Exhaustion creeps in, and all he craves is sleep as his head throbs and he feels utterly drained. Yet, the desire to see Harry persists, to clear the air, and yes, he wants to see Harry… or at least he thinks he does.

🚨

Louis strides towards the pub, the worn wooden sign of the building name “Cumberland” swinging slightly in the breeze. The exterior, though aged, showcases meticulous care as wooden barrels adorned with blooming flowers greet him at the entrance, adding a touch of vibrancy.

Stepping through the door, he first noticed the rustic charm it held. As Louis ventures further, the antique allure deepens. The carpet beneath his feet, a vintage red-and-white weave, bears the marks of time in the dining section.

The booths that lined the room, reminiscent of an older era, are upholstered in a fabric that has weathered years of laughter and spilled drinks. The pub’s serenity becomes apparent; The place isn’t too crowded and it’s relatively quiet, the ambiance leaning towards tranquillity, a welcome respite for Louis and his lingering headache.

Amongst the subdued hum of patrons, the wall mounted TV was a focal point as it illuminated the room showcasing a local footy game. Only when a frustrated groan punctuates the air from a disgruntled man who disagreed with an umpire’s decision grabs everyone’s attention, does Louis then raise his gaze, discovering Harry seated not too far away.

Louis slides into the seat opposite Harry, a slight nervous smile playing on his lips.

“ What’s the score?“

Harry, initially bewildered, follows Louis’ nod towards the TV screen, comprehension dawning in his eyes.

“Oh, uh, I lost track. Socials suckered me in.” Harry confesses, nonchalantly waving his phone to emphasize the distraction.

Louis dismisses the importance with a casual nod, but the calm atmosphere is shattered as a group of rowdy men celebrates a new found goal. Massaging his temples, Louis winces at the sudden burst of enthusiasm.

“Thought you were only having a few?” Harry mentally kicks himself; concern laces his words, unintentionally sounding judgmental.

“Sorry, that came out wrong.”

“No, it’s fine. Had a couple more than expected, paying for it now though.” Louis admits, his hand reaching to cover a yawn as if punctuating the toll it took.

“And did it help? Did you sleep at least?” Harry inquires as Louis yawns yet again.

Louis’ hand stays on his mouth anticipating another yawn instead of opting to answer. “I guess not then. “ Harry mentions offering a soft smile.

“I mean, I got to relax a bit I guess but, sleep, what is that again?” Louis jokes, expecting laughter, but Harry remains silent, absolutely hating witnessing Louis struggle.

“Anyway, what’s the menu like? You ordered yet?” Louis, seeking a diversion, watches as Harry begins to flip through the menu pages, his gaze fixed on the options.

“The vegetarian halloumi hash burger with kale aioli sounds-”

“Horrible.” Louis interjects, scrunching his nose, eliciting a laugh from Harry.

“Okay then, what tickles your fancy?”

Louis shuts the menu, locking eyes with Harry. In a different state of well-being, some humorous naughty banter might have followed, but instead, he straightforwardly discloses his culinary desire.

“I’m gonna go with the steak I reckon, medium to well, with chips and tomato sauce.”

As Louis surveys the room, absorbing the multitude of football flags hung all over the walls, Harry revels in the comforting aura of being back in Louis’ company. In this very moment, he recognizes that returning to Doncaster was the correct decision, despite Liam’s initial resistance and meltdown over his busy work schedule.

“ I broke up with frankie.“

Surprising both himself and Louis, the confession slips out unexpectedly. Louis turns back, intrigued and shocked and honestly un prepared for that conversation.

“ Are you two ready to order?“

The waiter, who masterfully provides Harry with a valuable pause to gather his thoughts, grins warmly as he anticipates the response from the duo.

Harry can not believe he had just said that about Frankie. Not the place nor time dickhead he says to himself internally. As the waiter jots down their order, Harry scrambles with ideas on what to say next, settling on waiting for Louis to speak first instead.

“ Is it stuffy in here or is it just my hangover?“

Louis starts to remove his jumper, turning slightly as he lets it drape over the back of his chair.

“Yeah, it is a bit.” he says.

Harry interprets this as a reluctance to delve into that topic, so he shifts the conversation to ask Louis about how it feels being back at work a few days a week.

For a split second they engage in an awkward dance of glances and hesitant smiles, the clink of glasses and the low hum of surrounding conversations provides a backdrop as they tip toe around any important stuff. It seems today might not be the best time for the ‘Heavy Stuff.’

Harry swirls the condensation on his pint glass, breaking the ice by sharing the quirky mishaps of how he nearly fired Liam.

“I nearly fired Liam last month.” Harry says, before shoving a forkful of food into mouth now that is has arrived.

“What? You once said you love him being your manager. Why?”

“He wouldn’t let me investigate where I wanted. Kept saying it was too dangerous and we didn’t have that type of insurance.”

“Oh, okay. Where was it you wanted to film?”

“On a haunted ship.” Harry deadpans, pretending to be serious.

“Why is that dangerous? I watched a show once where people explored the Queen Mary. Apparently, that was really scary. Seems like a missed opportunity. Why was Liam so against it?”

“I guess ghost stories can’t hold their breath, the ship was miles underwater!”

They both burst into laughter, struggling to contain their amusement, having not realised everyone else around them found their giggling utterly adorable as the onlookers couldn’t help but chuckle at the pair’s infectious smiles.

Now that the atmosphere had eased as they found common ground, the conversation shifted seamlessly to familial ties, as Harry recounts amusing childhood escapades, and Louis shares tales about family gatherings. A genuine connection emerges, fueled by the revelation that, despite sharing a child, they’ve only scratched the surface of understanding each other’s lives and backgrounds.

They delve into a discussion about their favourite hobbies. Harry animatedly describes his recent foray into wanting to explore other career paths later on, preferably photography but he isn’t too sure yet, while Louis says he wishes to learn more skills in cooking.

Time seems to slip away unnoticed as they explore topics far away from what really needed to be addressed. Laughter becomes a bridge, connecting the dots between the awkward silences. Before they realize it, the waiter returns with the bill, marking the passage of time in the remnants of half-consumed pints and the warmth of newfound camaraderie.

The purpose of this lunch was to express gratitude to Harry for retrieving Saxon’s broom broom, yet as always, they effortlessly slipped into a cocoon of comfort, leaving everything else forgotten.

“No, please, let me pay.” Harry insists.

Louis dismisses the offer with a headshake, shooing away Harry’s reaching hand. “I invited you, remember? So, I’m paying.”

As Louis takes care of the bill, Harry dives into deep contemplation, evident in the intense frown creasing his forehead as he gazes across the room.

“What’s the matter?” Louis inquires, turning around to find Saxon’s face on the TV.

“Lou, come on, let’s just go and-” Harry attempts to divert, but it’s too late. Louis has already stormed closer to the TV, eager to catch every remaining word.

The anchor, who is based on a news talk panel is clad in a crisp suit, he leans into the camera, delivering the latest “update”, or in more honest terms “Bullshit.”

“ Several parents, neighbours and the general public have taken to social media in a bid to voice their opinions and theories.“

His words cut through the airwaves as the camera pans over the anchor’s composed demeanor as he shares speculative reports, hinting at a need to investigate Louis Tomlinson, the father.

“ Amidst growing concern, certain parents have gone to the extent of urging authorities to scrutinize Mr. Tomlinson. This call for investigation comes in light of troubling statements received from both neighbors and witnesses present at the scene of the child’s disappearance.“

Abruptly, the screen transitions to an older woman being interviewed on the camera, her face etched with concern. She voices her unease about the situation, pointing out the oddities in the story.

“I think it’s really odd” she remarks, her eyes conveying scepticism. “The whole story doesn’t add up. The father came across a bit detached at times and didn’t seem keen to find him, how did he let them just close the case, if that was my child I wouldn’t have allowed it.”

Another scene cut reveals a different woman, her expression mirroring the other lady.

“Why has the other parent not come forward and made an effort to find their child? That poor boy, and didn’t multiply neighbours come forth and say how bad a parent he was, always telling him off and stuff, was he even watching the dear child at all at the playground? How do you lose someone in broad daylight? Maybe the kid is better off with someone else, or maybe the police should be looking closer to home if you know what I mean.”

Returning to the composed news anchor, he calmly but with an accusing tone summarises the grim situation.

“ Saxon Tomlinson, the son of Louis Tomlinson and suspected partner Harry Styles, has been missing since September. With no leads, the case has recently been closed. A friendly reminder that if anyone sees or hears anything suspicious, to please contact authorities.“

The colour drains from Louis’ face as Harry seizes his hand, desperately attempting to avert an impending emotional outburst. Observing Louis on the brink of either a breakdown or falling apart, Harry tries to calm him.

“Louis, focus. Disregard that crap, it’s all bullshit. Remember what Reign and Garcia said - unless it comes directly from them, it’s all mere gossip. None of the accusations have any validity. None of it.”

How could anyone entertain the notion that Louis might be involved in this? The very idea makes him nauseous, the sickness in his gut is unmistakable, a sensation that doesn’t go unnoticed by Harry as he takes hold of both of Louis’ hands, a silent gesture of support.

“Head out the front and wait there, please.”

Louis, still caught in a lingering daze, complies with a nod. A surge of anger pulses beneath the surface, a profound frustration at the apparent betrayal of some of the community who have seemed to turn their back on him and fuck, yeah that hurts.

He walks towards the door and the moment he is no longer in sight, Harry discreetly reaches for his phone.

“ I need some help, can you do something for me Li?“

Walking outside, he spots Louis in his car, visibly shaken with tears. Though already anticipating the response, Harry poses the question anyway.

“You okay?”

Louis remains fixated, his gaze avoiding Harry’s. He allows his head to rest against the seat headrest while Harry leans against the open window.

“ I’m fine.“

Louis is not fine.

“I’ve faced more severe comments before; this isn’t the first time, and I doubt it’ll be the last. Thanks for lunch today. It didn’t go as I expected, but it was still good to see you again.”

Abruptly, Harry despises the sudden shift in Louis’s disposition, sensing an impending dismissal. His genuine desire to alleviate Louis’ distress is stifled as Louis turns on the ignition, interrupting Harry’s attempts to offer comfort. The once pleasant lunch now hangs in a perilous gloom, and Harry fears the potential repercussions this may inflict upon Louis’ mental state.

“Louis, I know you’ve probably had enough of hearing me say this but I want to support you, I genuinely care. If you’re not up for talking now, that’s okay. Just remember I’m here whenever you’re ready, even if it’s just to sit in silence together, just don’t-”

Harry pauses, carefully choosing his words to avoid sounding patronizing or directive. While he considers advising against resorting to alcohol and impulsive actions such as going live on social media, he understands the need for sensitivity. Opting for brevity, he settles on a concise expression of concern instead.

“Just don’t, just don’t listen to that stuff, promise me. You don’t have to go through this alone, okay, remember that.”

Without dwelling on what it may imply or mean, or any potential implications or repercussions, he lifts Louis’ hand from the window ledge and delicately presses a lingering, tender kiss to his knuckles.

“ I’m right here.“

As Harry slowly turns to leave, Louis’ watchful eyes track his every move - from the careful handling of car keys to the swift and practised routine of fastening the seat belt and checking the mirrors. Mesmerised by the details, a sudden realisation strikes Louis.

The awareness washes over him: the constant act of pushing people away might lead to a day when nobody returns, and the weight of that truth crashes down on him. A surge of reluctance to be alone again, not today, not tonight, not tomorrow, overwhelms him. The touch of Harry’s lips on his skin brings clarity-it’s Harry he craves to have by his side. Frantically, he retrieves his phone from his pocket and types fast, stealing glances at Harry, whose head lowers to read the incoming message. Their eyes meet, and as a small smile graces Harry’s lips, Louis’ message tone sounds, prompting them both to look down at their unfolding conversation.

To Harry: “My house?”

From Harry: “I’d love to. Follow you there. X”

🚨

Louis pulls into his driveway, glancing in surprise as two figures come into view at his door. After parking, he strides towards them breaking out a huge smile.

“What are you two doing here? I didn’t know you were coming.” Louis questions, enveloping his mother in a warm embrace before acknowledging Oli. “You should have called; I would’ve come home.”

Jay grins, waving her phone.

“Was just about to, but then you pulled in. What have you been up to today?”

The trio’s attention shifts collectively as the sound of Harry closing his own car door draws their gaze. Jay’s smile widens at his arrival.

“ Oh.“ He hears Oli sarcastically say softly.

Louis just slaps his arm.

“ Oi.“

Jay and Harry exchange warm hugs, their greetings filled with genuine affection. Louis extends an invitation, ushering them all inside for a comforting cup of tea. Harry feels a surge of gratitude, relieved that Louis has shifted his focus from the earlier media rubbish. As they enter, Harry purposefully hangs back, only to find Jay doing the same. Leaning in, she whispers to Harry.

“Harry, did, um, did Louis happen to see-”

Harry nods in affirmation.

“He did, I was so worried.”

“Us too. That’s why we came. We were concerned he might spiral again, but I’m glad you are here. It’s nice to see you two together again, well patched things up I meant.”

The sentiment warms Harry’s heart.

“ We are slowly getting there.“

Comfortably settled into conversation, Louis finds himself engrossed in a lively chat with Oli, reconnecting after what feels like ages. Meanwhile, Harry takes the opportunity to deepen his connection with Jay, delving into a more personal conversation.

As the minutes tick by, Jay subtly hints at her impending departure. “It was nice to see you today, baby, but I’ve got lots of cleaning awaiting me at home.” She opens her arms, and Louis eagerly leans into the embrace. In a whispered tone, she adds,

“It’s also nice to see you smile again, sweetheart.”

Glancing over at Harry, Louis acknowledges the reservations and initial unease he felt, but Harry, in his usual way, has effortlessly turned it all into something natural and easy.

“Yeah, it feels good.” Louis admits.

After warm goodbyes and handshakes with Oli, Louis’ enthusiasm deflates a bit.

“You’re not staying either?”

Oli shoots a glance at Harry before leaning in to hug Louis with a playful smirk.

“Nah, mate, don’t need me third-wheeling again. Plus, I’ll see you next week for my birthday, yeah?”

“ Absolutely!“

“ Good, good. Was thinking about going out for dinner like we did with yours not long ago.“

“ Sounds good Oli.“

The mention of Louis’ birthday captures Harry’s attention, and the realization hits that, due to their three months apart, he must have celebrated a birthday he has now missed. Yet, he adeptly conceals any reaction as they stand side by side.

“Here, we’ll walk you out?” Louis offers a congenial gesture as they prepare to see Oli and his mother off.

However, Jay raises a hand in protest.

“No, don’t be silly. You guys have a good day, and Louis, please call if you need me.” With a final kiss to the cheek, Jay and Oli head towards the exit.

Before exiting through the front door, Oli turns to Jay, sharing a cautious whisper.

“Do you think he’s going to be alright?”

Jay glances back down the corridor, where she witnesses Louis laughing at something Harry has said. Returning her gaze to Oli, she responds softly.

“Something tells me, he is going to be just fine.”

🚨

“ So….“

Harry, typically unreserved, finds himself a bit out of his element with small talk. The atmosphere between them, now that they are alone, seems to be tinged with a subtle nervous energy.

“Nice to see we got some good weather today.” Harry ventures.

Louis rolls his eyes playfully, unable to contain his amusement. “Oh god, we’re not really doing this, are we?” he laughs, sensing the humorous awkwardness.

A slight smile plays on Harry’s lips in response to Louis’ comment, and his eyes wander around the room, taking note of the disorder. The kitchen bears witness to a collection of discarded pizza boxes, and empty bottles find their place on various surfaces. However, what captivates Harry’s attention most is the untouched remnants of Saxon’s toys in the lounge, where they were last seen during his prior visit. Papers, markers, and Lego pieces are still scattered across the room, a poignant tableau of memories.

While understanding that Louis needs time to navigate through the emotional aftermath, a subtle yearning arises within Harry to tidy up these traces of the past, an unspoken wish to alleviate the visual painful reminders for Louis.

“ I will clean it, one day. Just… not now. I can’t. I know it’s messy and-“

Shit, realising he’s been caught staring for a moment too long, Harry reacts with a sheepish expression.

“No, Lou, it’s fine. I wasn’t-”

Interrupting the awkward pause, Harry smoothly takes off his coat, conjuring a suggestion from the recesses of his mind.

“You wanna sit outside? The sun is lovely.”

And so that’s exactly what they do.

Sitting side by side as they quietly bask in the heat from the sun, Louis abruptly stands.

“ You want a beer?“

Once more, Harry harbours concern, but at least he’s present this time, hopeful that if Louis decides to ‘let go’ tonight, he can provide support and vigilant companionship.

“ Sure, I’d love one.“

Over the next hour Harry inquires about Louis’ well-being over the last three months that they were apart. Louis confesses to managing reasonably well…. up until Saxon’s recent birthday of course.

“That’s when things got hard. A few weeks back, I pushed everyone away, including Mum and Oli, and hit the bottles pretty heavy. Not gonna lie, I was a proper mess.”

Louis turns to Harry, and in the not so subtle shift of his expression, there’s a poignant sadness that tugs at the corners of his eyes.

“Harry, he’s three now, and I couldn’t bake him a cake, couldn’t sing him happy birthday, couldn’t buy him any presents.” Louis pauses, a heavy silence hanging in the air before he delicately wipes his eyes. “ I haven’t seen what my three year old son looks like Harry.“

A frown creases Harry’s forehead, a hint of upset shadowing his countenance. He dislikes the notion that Louis endured such a challenging time alone.

“Oh Lou… Why didn’t you call me? The whole pregnancy scare thing put a strain on us, I get that, but you still could have called. I would have helped you through it, I would have come.”

“I know you would have.” Louis sadly admits. “That’s why I didn’t.”

Louis swallows a hefty sip of his drink and like the flick of a switch Louis desperately changes the subject.

“So, you and Frankie.”

“Are over, yeah.”

“Fair enough.”

Harry grapples with the decision of divulging more details about Frankie and their split, or simply staying silent. Opting for a more classic Harry move, he nervously rambles.

“Those plants over there are nice. However they could use a touch more water, you know? They’d perk up nicely.”

Louis already knows what flowers he is referring to before even shifting his gaze, given the sparse collection in his yard, having possessed mostly grass and hedges.

“Yeah. Um, Saxon chose them from the garden shop last year. He watered them daily. His tiny watering pot is over there. I just can’t muster the heart to tend to them. It was his thing; he didn’t want me messing with them.”

Both of them pivot simultaneously, eyes fixed on the small orange watering can resting near the water tap.

A prickle in Harry’s eyes persists, and he’s haunted by the sense that his words inflict ongoing wounds upon Louis, an unceasing cycle of unintentional pain and harm.

An internal impulse propels Harry to rise, crossing the distance over towards the flowers. His fingertips tenderly brush the withered leaves. Casting a glance back over his shoulder at Louis, a silent dialogue unfolds between them. In unspoken accord, Louis rises as well, dusting off his pants before joining Harry by the flowers.

Harry grabs the watering pot, situating it beneath the tap. As he fills it, he turns to Louis, whose expression teeters between the brink of tears and a silent plea that urges a stride towards healing.

“You alright? There is no pressure, Lou. If you are not comfortable, you don’t have to do this.”

Louis’ eyes linger on the pot, the prospect of reaching for it feeling unsettling. Yet, when he meets Harry’s reassuring stare filled with unwavering support, he instinctively seizes the pot. With deliberate care, he pours its contents over the flowers, remaining oblivious to his own tears that are blending with the water.

“I miss you, baby.” Harry hears him murmur, and damn, he questions how Louis endures staying in this house. The comprehension dawns on him the more he frequently visits this place. A pang in his own heart intensifies as he grasps the emotional toll it must have on Louis if it is affecting himself this much.

“I’m so proud of you. Saxon will love these when he comes home.” Harry says it so casually that Louis freezes. He was not expecting that, he had no clue as to how to respond.

Harry’s enduring hope is something Louis can respect, but expressing such optimism feels foreign to him. In contrast, he senses a growing pessimism within himself. Hope has dissipated like mist, he has lost hope in everything: In understanding what transpired that awful day, identifying the culprit who took him, and the prospect of reuniting with his little boy seems increasingly elusive. Louis has now found himself devoid of any faith in the future.

Louis nods halfheartedly as his mind drifts into a realm of wondering. How long until he reunites with his son’s face, or if such a reunion is destined to elude him forever. Snapping out of his thoughts, he discovers Harry pulling weeds from a neglected garden bed.

“Harry, what-”

Harry just smiles back at him and shit, his dimples.

“But it’s a-” Harry begins.

“ Nice day, I know.“ Louis laughs back.

Observing Harry tending to the overlooked garden feels humbling. Kneeling down beside him, Louis mimics Harry’s actions, yanking out a substantial weed. A hiss escapes him as he nicks his thumb on a thorn.

“Fucking hell, ouch.”

Harry laughs unintentionally, captivated by Louis’ adorable pout. After a brief interlude of thumb-sucking, Louis resumes the mundane task of tidying up his yard. Unexpected as it may be, he finds satisfaction not only in the warmth of the sun and the accomplishment of cleaning, but also in the infectious laughter that Harry provides throughout the entire process.

Another hour slips away, marked by the transformation of both men into figures smeared with dirt and grime.

“Well, at least I don’t look half as bad as you.”

Harry glances down at his shirt, now a canvas of soil stains.

“Oh boy. Doesn’t matter, it was worth it. Look how wonderful this place looks.”

Louis steps back to observe, genuinely taken aback by the remarkable change in his yard-now neat and in order.

“Harry, this was such a great-”

Louis pauses as he turns, only to find Harry holding up a giant worm.

“No, not again! Put that down, it’s disgusting, Harry, I swear to you!”

As Louis starts to sprint, Harry launches forward. It’s not the first occurrence today, but the third, yet their laughter reverberates through the atmosphere, rendering the chaos and playful antics all the more worthwhile.

“ What’s it gonna take for you to put that slimy thing down, Styles?“

A smirk graces Harry’s face, causing Louis’ mouth to drop open.

“You’re kidding, HARRY!”

Offended, Harry places his hands behind his back and strides closer.

“You’re the one with the dirty little mind, Tomlinson. That’s not what I wanted at all.”

Nervousness creeps over Louis as Harry invades his personal space. They’re close, dangerously close. Louis senses his own heart racing in his throat, while Harry’s stomach does somersaults.

“Smile.”

Louis frowns in confusion.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Smile for me.” Harry repeats in a serious tone. “Smile, and I drop the worm.”

“You’re not serious.”

“Oh, but I am.”

Harry inches closer, their noses nearly colliding.

“Smile.” He demands.

In a moment of spontaneity, Louis complies effortlessly, allowing his lips to form a broad smile. Harry reaches out, playfully poking the dimple in one of his cheeks, coaxing laughter from Louis.

“ God, you are still so delicately stunning.“

However, in the aftermath, a palpable tension hangs between them. They find themselves uncomfortably close, and Louis senses the imminent possibility of a kiss, leaving him uncertain about whether he’s truly ready for it.

While his mind may not fully embrace it just yet, his heart is leaning that way, and an unexpected twitch from his cock suggests a different kind of response altogether.

Harry’s hand ascends to Louis’ face, his thumb gently tracing the trio of freckles on his cheek that forms a triangle.

He prays Harry doesn’t catch onto the instinctive lean he made into the touch. Shit, he doesn’t want to lose that connection, that warmth and safety. However, Louis retreats abruptly, breaking the contact, and gazes down at Harry’s hands.

“Wait a damn minute.” Louis declares, and Harry seals his lips tightly.

“Where the fuck is the worm?”

Harry begins to slowly walk backwards playfully.

“ Yeah, I dropped the worm ages ago when I first put it behind my back, so yeah, that smile was for free.“

“ Wow! Louis exasperates. “So you kind of cheated, as they say, once a cheater always a cheater.”

Harry’s expression falters, the dig about Frankie stinging his chest, for even though Louis hadn’t intended any harm, his attempt at banter backfires leaving Harry hurt, and rightfully so.

“Harry, I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry.” Louis admits with remorse.

Harry inhales deeply, processing the apology.

“I should get going. These clothes need a wash.” he responds.

“ Harry.“

Harry strides over, gathering their empty bottles, a testament to his character-cleaning up his mess even after enduring an insult. Placing the bottles on the bench, he starts to depart. But as Harry passes by, Louis reaches out, grabbing his hand.

“Please don’t leave.” Louis implores, his voice heavy with sadness and fear, directed at Harry’s retreating back.

Slowly, Harry turns around, sensing the anguish in Louis’ tone.

“Im Sorry, I didn’t, I really didn’t mean-” Louis stammered.

Louis is crying.

Harry steps closer, allowing Louis’ head to fall and rest against his chest, offering solace in his embrace. He rubs Louis on the back for a few seconds before breaking the silence.

“Smile.” Harry’s words are tender and tentative, forgiving .

But Louis finds it impossible. He’s just wounded the one person who’s kept him sane, the one individual who’s brought genuine laughter and happiness into his life after what feels like an eternity without it. The grim expression on Louis’ face reflects how terrible he feels, and Harry knows his attempt to lighten the mood won’t succeed this time. Or will it?

“ Hope you got a spare shirt in a size Large then.“

And that… makes Louis smile.

🚨

Midway through eating the dinner that they had silently made together-a Chicken Stir Fry, Harry senses the need for the prevailing awkwardness between them to come to an end, because he hates this. Despite Louis’ invitation earlier to spend the night, unease had settled between them, with one too scared to say anything in case he hurts the other, and one too scared to put his foot in it again. Harry glances up at Louis, coincidentally catching him lowering his fork and locking eyes.

“Harry, I’ve made this weird. I apologise. If you want to go, you can. I totally understand. Just know, I never meant it.” Louis says, rising from his seat and carrying his scarcely touched plate of food to the sink.

The familiar ping of Harry’s message tone reaches Louis’ ears, and he watches intently as Harry reads it and swiftly types a short reply. In response to whatever he sees on the screen, Harry stands up, downing the last of his water.

“Lou, I just gotta head back and grab something real quick. I won’t be long.”

“ Okay.“

And just like that, Harry slips out the door.

Louis contemplates if Harry’s departure is a necessary break, perhaps from the lingering tension, or if it signifies a fear that he and Harry may have reached the end of their course. Louis positions himself in front of the kitchen sink, surveying the array of dirty dishes. He starts to fill the water, a futile attempt to occupy his mind and hands, a distraction that might bridge the time until Harry returns, if he chooses to come back at all that is.

Forty minutes, a whole 2,400 seconds ticks by and Louis is emotionally broken. As the clock approaches 6:40 pm, Harry continues his extended stay at the nearby hotel, which is merely only a 10-minute drive away. Louis, seated in the lounge room, finds his gaze drawn repeatedly to the liquor cabinet. Temptation looms, his eyes returning to the clandestine bottle stashed away, a silent invitation to numb the ache within.

’ Fuck it.’

He rises to his feet, managing only two steps before the doorbell chimes.

Opening the door, Louis is greeted by Harry, Harry whose hands are very full.

“Shit, here let me help.” Louis offers, reaching out to stabilize the laptop bag slipping from Harry’s arm. The other hand carries a grocery bag and some clean clothes.

“Thanks. Sorry, I didn’t mean to take so long; I made a stop off at the shop along the way.”

Louis can finally breathe again.

“I’m glad you’re back.”

And Harry hears the sincerity in every word.

After setting everything down on the table, Harry reaches over and grabs his laptop. He is eager to have a chat, there is something he is desperate to show him.

“ You got a minute, there is something I really want to discuss with you.“

Louis nods, guiding Harry to sit down on the lounge. He notices the peculiar way Harry clings to the computer now resting on his lap.

“What’s going on?” Louis inquires, and Harry, with a sincere hope that Louis won’t become upset, proceeds.

“I had a conversation with Liam about getting something in motion. Currently, it’s merely an idea. The decision is entirely yours whether you want to proceed or not. I suppose it was my attempt to offer support in my own way, especially after what we heard on TV.”

Louis’ intrigue deepens as Harry unfolds the laptop, the vibrant glow of the screen coming to life.

“Well, you have my full attention.” Louis chuckles, not because he’s being humorous, but simply to cloak his nerves.

Harry logs into his YouTube account, and with a warm smile, he swivels the screen, directing it towards Louis. They both huddle around the screen, anticipation and a touch of nervousness in the air.

“I had Liam set up an entirely new channel, dedicated specifically to Saxon. A space where I thought we could leverage my large platform to create videos reminding people to keep an eye out, etc.”

Louis remains fixated on the screen, where the image of his little boy’s face captures his undivided attention. Each pixel seems to hold a world of memories and emotions, and Louis finds himself momentarily lost in little green eyes.

“Again, and I cannot stress this enough, it’s merely an idea, Lou. I thought if you or we could provide occasional video updates, perhaps some Q&A sessions, it would maintain public interest and, hopefully, ensure nobody forgets that he is still missing, and we are still looking for him.”

Louis’ hand reaches out, fingers caressing Harry’s, and only then does he turn to meet Harry’s gaze with teary eyes.

“You did this for me?” Louis inquires, and Harry responds with a gentle smile.

“Of course, for you and our son, I’d do anything for the two of you.”

After a moment of searching each other’s face, Louis wipes away his tears and looks back at the screen.

“You are too kind for this world, Harry. I love it. Thank you.”

Louis turns his head swiftly back towards Harry, a realization dawning on him.

“Oh. Are you sure about this, Harry?”

“I mean, Liam is a bit nervous, but I don’t care, Lou. I want the world to know he’s mine. I’m not ashamed of him or you. I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life. I want to help, you know that.”

Harry has refrained from publicly addressing Saxon’s situation; thus far, it has all been mere media speculation. This caution stems from the detectives being prudent and Liam expressing concerns about Harry’s public image and the potential impact of a highly publicized debacle on his career.

Louis initiates the video, and it’s not elaborate. It’s a compilation of Saxon’s pictures and brief clips from what’s been circulated in the media. Liam assembled it swiftly to provide a glimpse of their potential approach.

“It’s perfect.” Louis says.

Harry releases a contented sigh.

“I’m happy you’re onboard. I believe that, now without the police presence, this will hopefully maintain Saxon’s visibility, to keep his name out there.”

Harry delves into more ideas about how he envisions running the page. He outlines plans for both of them to feature in the opening video, providing Louis with the intricacies of video uploads, and more. After 15 minutes, Harry closes the laptop, leaving Louis genuinely amazed at Harry’s thoughtful initiative-his willingness to take a risk on his career for their son.

“What does Liam think will happen if you go ahead with this?”

“He’s a bit concerned. He expects I might lose a few thousand followers, but, look, I’m not bothered, alright? I want to do this.”

“Okay, if you are sure. You really are full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“Well, speaking of surprises, I kind of have one more. Well, it’s not so much a surprise, but here, look.”

Harry rises and offers his hand to assist Louis, guiding him to the kitchen where he pulls the grocery bag closer.

“Now, I know it’s not the same, and it’s obviously late, but-”

Harry halts, uncertain how to explain or prepare Louis for what’s inside the bag. Deciding to show rather than tell, he opens the bag, leaving it to Louis to piece things together.

In a mere millisecond, Louis connects the dots.

“Harry.” he whispers, his chin trembling.

Harry moves around the kitchen bench, looping an arm around the top of Louis’ shoulder.

“Let’s get to work.”

An hour later when it comes time for the final step, they find themselves side by side, staring at the finished creation. Louis inhales deeply as Harry turns off the lights and ignites the number three candle.

“Happy birthday, baby.” Louis whispers, before turning into Harry’s chest for a small sob. Harry responds by planting a gentle kiss on the top of his head.

“Happy birthday, Saxon.”

🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Time to move forward ? 👀

Also, who’s ready for Larry to start mending and progressing their ‘relationship’ ? 👀 Yeah? Because it’s gonna happen fast.

Stayed tuned….

Chapter 13 - Hope?

A/N

So…

All i’m going to say is….

“You are welcome!” 😉

No, I’m not saying why…..

No

No

No

No

Fine……

Small

Smut warning 🙄

Also, if you do not know what Sabrina Carpenters nonsense outros are, you need to watch them on tiktok or youtube etc before reading this to understand a small part of this chapter. You just need to know the beat really.

10k word chapter

This chapter has not been beta’d or had any editing. Just wanted to get it out as im busy for the next couple of days. Will update it after its been edited

when I have the time . sorry

🚨

‘ There is power in disconnection. Separate yourself from the world for a while and soon you will figure out what is feeding your soul, or in this case…..who.’

Within just two days of embarking on their YouTube journey, and prompted by Louis’ suggestion, Harry quietly relocated his belongings from the hotel to Louis’ home, symbolizing the growing connection between them. Louis’ underlying motive was not only to nurture their relationship but also to alleviate Harry’s financial burden, a gesture filled with care and consideration.

Harry goes on to seamlessly blend into the fabric of Louis’ daily existence, intertwining their lives via shared daily mundane tasks and mutual comfort. From sunrise to sunset, their days unfolded like pages in a beloved storybook, each chapter brimming with laughter, inside jokes, and heartfelt conversations. Whether it was cooking dinner together, binge-watching TV shows, or simply enjoying each other’s company in comfortable silence, their connection deepened with every passing hour. It was as if they had found their missing puzzle piece, fitting together effortlessly to create a picture-perfect harmony.

It was clear that Harry’s presence became a constant support over the next couple of months, a reliable fixture in both ordinary and challenging times. Their interdependence had evolved organically, each action forming due to the reliance they’ve developed upon one another, a connection that has become an integral part of their lives without them fully acknowledging its depth… until now.

Harry found himself standing at the front door, a suitcase by his side, preparing to board a plane back to Los Angeles, for the first time in two months. The weight of the decision lingered heavily on him; he didn’t want to leave, but reality tugged at him, reminding him of the life he had back in LA. Liam had been beyond desperate to have Harry physically present for some crucial work-related matters. While they managed to handle tasks through frequent video calls and emails, it was time for Harry to return home, at least for a little while.

Louis, leaning against the doorframe, observed Harry’s internal conflict. The offer to join him had been relentless, but Louis declined each time, a calm determination in his eyes.

“You sure you don’t want to come?”

Harry’s voice held a glimmer of hope, though beneath the surface, he harboured a sinking certainty regarding the inevitable response.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” Louis replied quietly, his refusal sad, yet firm.

The first time Harry had asked, Louis was taken aback, but he calmly explained that he couldn’t simply up and leave his son behind. The uncertainty of Saxon returning home without Louis being there had lingered in his mind. The responsibility of caring for his little boy anchored him firmly to his current place. Their exchanged glance silently affirmed their shared comprehension of the dilemma, yet both tacitly acknowledged its inevitability with quiet acceptance. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop Harry from wrestling with the conflicting demands of his life in LA and the connection he had forged during his time with Louis.

As Harry’s departure approached rapidly, Louis found himself standing there dreading the impending void his absence would create. Harry had unexpectedly become the stabilizing force in Louis’ life, redirecting their evenings from the haze of alcohol to a sanctuary of peace and warmth. Gone were the nights fueled by intoxication; in its place had emerged a new routine of board games, and watching rubbish reality shows on tv.

While cuddling had become a familiar ritual on the couch, it remained just that - mere cuddles, nothing more and nothing less.

Despite Louis’ reassurances that he was fine to share his bed and keep it all innocent, Harry always insisted on sleeping on the couch, a gesture embodying his commitment to doing things right this time. There was an unspoken understanding between them, a connection built on companionship that surpassed mere friendship and Harry wanted to leave no opportunity to fuck any of it up.

Louis couldn’t escape the weight of Harry’s impending absence. Louis was already yearning for the continuation of those nights that had become an unexpected source of comfort and joy but he braved a smile anyway.

“ Have a safe flight, H.”

Louis utters the words with a caring softness but it also carries a hidden longing, a wish that circumstances didn’t demand such a farewell. He almost chuckles at the irony of it all—mere months ago, he had eagerly anticipated Harry’s departure, yet now, a queasy sensation churns in his stomach as he stands there, wishing Harry would just unpack his bags instead.

Harry closes the two-meter gap and cradles him in a warm embrace.

“ Are you going to be okay? I wish I didn’t have to go.”

Louis, aware that an honest response would only worry Harry, musters a fake smile.

“Of course, I finally get control of the TV remote back, and won’t have anyone stealing all my potato crisps now, will I?“ There is a hint of amusement tugging at his lips as he continues.  “Yet, I’ll miss those morning tea deliveries.” he admits with a wistful smile. “Waking up to a steaming mug has become a comforting ritual I’ve grown rather fond of.”

Harry briefly entertains the idea of joking about reclaiming silent movie nights back in LA, free from Louis’ chatter. However, he decides against it and instead, he gently holds onto Louis’ forearms, studying his face.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

As Harry whispers the heartfelt words, he lowers his lips to gently kiss Louis’ forehead, the warmth of the gesture leaving a lingering sensation on Louis’ skin. The quiet admission creates a delicate silence.

“Me too.”

With a glance at his watch, Harry recognizes the urgency to begin his departure.

“I really need to get moving or I am going to be late.”

Louis shadows Harry as they move towards the front door and suddenly Harry’s bags feel heavier in a sense that every second that ticks from here on out symbolises the impending physical distance about to widen between them.

“Bye Lou.”

Louis watches every movement—the lift of the bags, the hand running through his hair—it all causes a knot to form in his stomach. Damn this was hard. The familiar discomfort settles in as the reality of their temporary separation unfolds.

Louis’ playful concern shines through as he questions Harry about his packing.

“Are you sure you’ve packed everything? Not forgetting anything, are you?”

With a pat to his pockets and a glance at his luggage, Harry reassures him with a confident nod.

“ No, I’m pretty sure I got everything, I  checked five times.” He laughs.

Harry is enchanted as Louis’ puppy eyes glisten.

“Actually, Styles, I think you’ve misplaced something. Oh wait, here it is.”

Unexpectedly, Louis leans in, placing his lips tenderly on Harry’s. The kiss is met with a perfect balance, neither rushed nor slow, but just right.

Harry sighs deeply, shaking his head in disbelief, sporting a massive grin.

“ Damn it Louis, you do this to me now, as I have to leave.”

Louis shyly nibbles his lip.

“Sorry, just wanted to leave you with a taste of what’s waiting for you…if you do come back.”

God, he prays he hasn’t crossed a line or foolishly bared his heart too openly.

Harry groans, leaning in and resting his forehead on Louis’.

“Not if… but when.”

He succumbs to the irresistible opportunity, unable to resist the allure. As Louis had just hinted at his interest, Harry licks his lips, leaning in to reconnect their lips once more.

Their kiss was an intricate blend of depth and slowness, a fusion of passion that moved between them with a delicate rhythm. It then began to ignite into a hands-on adventure, every gesture inviting a deeper exploration, a sensory journey with each movement purposeful yet leisurely.

The intimate encounter resonated with a lustful energy conveyed through the gentle touch of their lips. The means to savor each and every second lead them to a slower pace, capturing the essence of their sudden desire.

“Get moving, go on, you’re gonna miss your flight.” Louis gently urged, a playful protest in his tone.

Harry hesitated, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Well, maybe I could not—”

“Harry.” Louis interrupted, a fond smile softening his features.

“Fine.” Harry chuckled.“Goodbye, Lou.”

Louis grinned. “See you, Harry.”

The farewell went smoother than expected, however it had been sadly laced with a mix of love and longing.

Throughout the entire drive to the airport, Harry wore a smile, his finger lightly grazing his lips as if he could still feel the ghostly touch of Louis’ lips against his own.

Back at the house, loneliness was creeping back in already, making Louis dial Oli’s number, seeking out his friend’s company.

“Hey, fancy a visitor?” he asked tentatively.

“Yeah, everything okay?” Oli inquired with concern.

“Um, yeah.” Louis hesitated, then mustered the courage to express his uncertainty.

“Actually, I’m not sure.”

Oli’s initial concern shifted to a calmer reassurance. “What’s the matter?”

Taking a deep breath, Louis confessed.

“I think I’m falling deeply in love with Harry, and I don’t know how to stop it, or if I even want to.”

🚨

At the airport, Liam stood eagerly by the arrival gate glancing at the incoming passengers. His face lit up when he spotted Harry emerging through the crowd. Excitement brimmed in Liam’s eyes as he greeted his friend, a warm smile breaking across his face. They exchanged a hearty handshake, accompanied by a clap on the back.

“Hey, good to see you! I almost forgot what you looked like.” Liam chuckled, eliciting a smile from Harry.

Although he wanted to respond with how it feels good to be back, he couldn’t bring himself to, knowing it would be insincere.

“Nice to see you too, Payno.”

As they weaved through the busy terminal, Liam filled Harry in with tales of what he’d missed during his absence, painting vivid pictures of Niall’s latest escapades and ridiculous antics. Watching the way Harry smiled only made Liam even more happier to have Harry back by his side.

Liam took to the driver’s seat, and as the car navigated the LA streets, Harry reached for his phone, intending to leave a voicemail for Louis, who he suspected was probably asleep since he hadn’t answered.

“Hey, I just landed. It’s so hot here.” Harry pauses briefly before continuing. “I miss you already. Will try and ring you again tomorrow. Call if you need me okay.”

Ending the voicemail, Harry glances at Liam, who’s been listening with curiosity.

“ What?” Harry says defensively.

“So, are you guys officially a couple now?” Liam asks.

Harry shakes his head sadly. “No.”

Liam smirks “ Not….yet.” he affirms before changing the subject. “Well, are you ready to finally get some work done? There’s a ton of stuff waiting for us.”

Harry’s eyes are drawn to the scenery outside the window, yet Liam’s conversation unknowingly filters through his consciousness, with words like ‘location’ and ‘terms’ barely registering amidst his distraction. His mind is preoccupied, wrestling with the residual sensation of Louis’ lips, a resounding plea urging him to board the next flight back to the UK.

🚨

The next day, as Liam and Harry stroll along the curbside on their way to meet the owners of a local haunted house, they unexpectedly run into Peter, their lawyer, when Harry accidentally bumps into him. Seizing the opportunity, Harry expresses his desire to schedule an appointment.

“Peter, great to run into you again. I know you’re busy, so I won’t take up too much of your time, but I’d love to schedule an appointment when you’re available.” Harry says, offering a friendly greeting.

“Of course, Harry. I’ll send you an email with an available time.” Peter replies in a businesslike tone. “ Sorry, gotta keep moving, I was due in court like twenty minutes ago.”

As Peter hurries along on his way, Liam turns to Harry, questioning the purpose of the meeting with Peter.

“ You plan on letting me in on what that was about?”

Harry frowns and thinks before he responds, revealing his intention to seek assistance in locating his son, leaving Liam with a perplexed frown.

“ Just need some help, some advice on what I can and cannot legally do, that’s all Liam. Nothing to worry about.”

After spending thirty minutes speaking with the owner of the haunted house, Harry is hungry when they begin their journey home.

“ Can we stop somewhere for food? I’m starving.”

Liam locates a nice little place and when they step into the small café, its exterior is embellished with charming wrought-iron tables and chairs that spill onto the narrow cobblestone pathway. The façade boasts ivy-covered walls, and a small, bell-like chime rings as they open the door.

Harry quickly realizes it’s different from the typical LA-style spots he’s accustomed to. The charm of this place lies in its uniqueness, creating an atmosphere that seems to have transcended geographical boundaries. A subtle fusion of European elegance and cozy warmth radiates the space, making it distinctly different from the bustling cafés of Los Angeles.

Inside, the atmosphere is cosy and inviting, reminiscent of a Parisian hideaway. Warm sunlight filters through lace curtains, casting a soft glow on vintage-inspired wallpaper decorated with delicate floral patterns. Small, round tables covered in checkered tablecloths are strategically arranged, each accompanied by a pair of dainty chairs. Antique mirrors reflect the ambient light, giving the illusion of additional space in the otherwise snug interior.

Quiet conversations and the occasional clinking of porcelain against saucers create a soothing atmosphere. The air is infused with the rich aroma of freshly ground coffee, and the melodic strains of a jazz playlist waft through hidden speakers. Behind the counter, a barista skillfully operates an espresso machine, producing steaming cups of artful latte creations.

Despite the cafe’s activity, there’s an air of tranquillity that surrounds the patrons as they immerse themselves in books and laptops. The staff moves gracefully between the tables, attending to customers with a sense of familiarity and care, enhancing the overall ambiance of this charming escape from the outside world.

As Harry takes it all in, he can’t help but think about how much Louis would adore this hidden gem. The setting is far from the flashy and trendy establishments often found in LA; instead, it’s a haven of understated charm.

“ Let me guess, you want the lemon and dill Salmon?”

Harry continues to look down the menu mischievously. 

“ Actually, I wouldn’t mind a cheeseburger and fries.”

Liam’s eyebrows skyrocket, adopting a serious tone as he leans in.

“ Who the fuck are you, and what have you done with my mate Harry?”

Harry chuckles, a hint of mischief in his eyes, as he leans in conspiratorially.

“Secret’s out, mate. Turns out I have a rebellious taste bud or two hidden in here.”

Liam lowers the menu down and signals for the waiter.

“ What has that Doncaster air done to you? Or should I say, what has that Donny lad done instead… hmm?”

And if Harry smiles and ignores the question opting to look around the room, then so be it.

As they wait for their orders, the café buzzes with activity as more patrons stream in, and a couple of observant fans recognize Harry, creating a subtle stir of excitement. Liam nudges Harry, drawing attention to a group of girls and a guy huddled in a circle, gesturing and expressing admiration from across the room. In the past, Harry might have revelled in the attention, but this time, Liam is surprised when Harry casually brushes it off, redirecting his focus elsewhere appearing to stare off into thin air.

“That lad really has left an impression on you, hasn’t he?” Liam remarks, but it seems as if Harry is lost in his own little world. “Harry.” Liam says, clicking his fingers but still gains no response. Liam smirks. “Louis Tomlinson’s bum.” Harry glances at Liam, a perplexed frown forming, prompting Liam to burst into laughter. “ Fucking hell, you really are whipped, mate.”

🚨

Exhausted from the lingering effects of jetlag, Harry craves the embrace of his pillow. Despite the fatigue, the magnetic draw of Louis’ company prevails, evident in the recent FaceTime call that interrupted the quietness of his room.

“How was your first day back?” Louis asks.

Upon waking that morning, Louis had contemplated whether to make the call. However, thoughts of Harry had persisted relentlessly since his departure, compelling Louis to dial, seeking the comfort of Harry’s voice before having to face the day.

Harry smiles as he tries his best not to yawn.

“Been full-on. Liam has so many things lined up for me to do and-”

Suddenly, his bedroom door flies open, and in barges Niall, who had only just got home and was desperate to see his mate.

“Harry, my man! Nice to finally have you home. So, how did it go with lover boy? Did you guys kiss and make up? Did you grovel? I told you to grovel, remember.”

Harry presses his lips together and shakes his head before grittingly telling him.

“I’m on FaceTime, Ni.” Undeterred, Niall proceeds closer, attempting to get in front of the camera.

“Ooh, is it your mum? Hello there Mrs -” Niall stops mid-sentence when he finally recognizes that it is, in fact, Louis.

“Oh, you’re definitely not Mrs. Sexy Anne.” Louis tries not to laugh but fails.

“No, I’m certainly not. But also, for the record, he didn’t grovel… He um, didn’t need to.” Louis blushes as he looks at Harry, and Niall makes a disgusted face.

“Oh god, you’re just as lovesick as him. Ew, I’m gonna puke.” Niall walks off camera, and Louis hears him yell.

“I’m Niall, by the way. Nice to officially meet you, Louis.”

As Niall opens the bedroom door, he gives a thumbs up and mouths to Harry, “Well done.”

Harry replies. “Good night, Niall, and stop calling my mother sexy. It’s weird.”

They engage in conversation for an hour before Harry begins to stifle yawns, the effort of holding back fatigue evident. It’s been an odd adjustment for both of them, having spent the last two months inseparable.

“Goodnight “ Louis murmurs softly.

“Have a good day.” Harry responds, his words soft as they part ways for the night.

🚨

The following morning, all three lads were  seated around the kitchen table with Niall launching into a spirited monologue about the quirks of dentistry, unknowingly entertaining everyone with his dental insights.

Harry, unable to contain his amusement, chuckles softly at Niall’s animated storytelling. Liam interjects with a playful comment.

“Niall, tell Harry who came into your workplace the other day.”

Niall laughs heartily.

“ Oh my god, yes. So the other day, I was just casually doing my own thing when I was suddenly asked to assist Mayla in room 2. I got excited because that’s the VIP room. Mayla instructed me to inspect the teeth and note imperfections.“

Harry can’t help but wonder where Niall’s dental analogy is headed, especially when he notices Liam trying to stifle laughter, as if hearing a joke for the first time. The anticipation in the room grows, and Harry braces himself for what might be an unexpectedly amusing twist.

“Picture this: I followed the dental protocol, sat down, introduced myself, and began examining the patient’s mouth. When it was time to share my analysis, Mayla looked at me, and Harry, I swear, I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.”

“ What the hell Niall, what did you do?”

Niall chuckled, shaking his head as he swiftly took another hearty bite of his toast.

“ I nearly made the patient choke to death, that’s what.”

“ How so?”

“ I told Mayla he had a hole in one, and they both laughed so bad. The guy’s mouth was held open by a bite block, and because he laughed so bad he almost choked.”

Harry was utterly perplexed, questioning how on earth that was even considered amusing. Liam, on the other hand, was losing it, laughing uncontrollably, leaving Harry to ponder how he ended up befriending these baboons.

“ I don’t get it.” Harry explains.

Niall eases his expression and locks eyes with Harry.

“The man stood up, and after Mayla helped him remove his mouthpiece after patting his back, he turned to me, and I nearly blacked out from embarrassment. The first thing he said was, ’ That was a great joke.’ I didn’t even realise I had made one, but anyway, the patient, it was bloody Tiger Woods, Harry, the famous golfer. I told him he had a hole in one.”

Everyone at the table joins in the laughter, enjoying the light-hearted banter over breakfast. Even though he wouldn’t like to admit it right now, Harry actually enjoyed being back at home.

Liam who is casually munching on his cereal changes the subject out of nowhere.

“So, I see the YouTube page is gaining traction. How was Louis when you two made the first video?”

“Indeed, it’s going really well. Louis was understandably nervous at first, but he really stepped up and delivered. I know I should have checked in first before posting on mine, but…”

“Harry, don’t worry. I believe it actually helped boost the other account. It was your decision, and so far, apart from a few questionable comments, there haven’t been any negative impacts on your account.”

FLASHBACK

The first YouTube video

“ Are you ready?”

“Not in the slightest, but-” Louis’ anxiety is taking over, the tremble in his words giving it away.

Harry adjusts the camera and returns to the seat beside Louis, whose hands are shaking. Despite Louis having been on TV before, Harry realizes that a little home video is not as easy as it seems.

“ You want to do it another day? We can talk about it some more first or throw in some practice maybe. It doesn’t have to be right now.”

“ I can do it now. Just give me a minute.”

Louis gets up and leaves to go upstairs, leaving Harry wondering if maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. Was it too soon, too hard?

Louis entered his room sinking onto the bed, his eyes landing on the picture of him and Saxon on the bedside table. Carefully, he lifted it towards his chest, fingers tracing across Saxon’s smiling face.

“ Never give up.”

He whispered the promise before returning the photo to its rightful place.

“I can do this.” he reassured himself.

Stopping in the ensuite, he splashed water on his face and touched up his hair.

“ I can do this.” He told himself once more.

Returning to the lounge room, Louis spots Harry fiddling with the laptop, tapping away.

“ I’m ready.“ Louis affirms, catching the undercurrent of concern in Harry’s expression. He knows him well enough now for Louis to discern it plainly written across Harry’s face.

“ I’m okay and good to go, I promise.”

Harry turns off the previous screen and logs into his main YouTube account, “Shadow Trails.”

“ Whoah, what’s happening? Wasn’t the new channel for Saxon where we were going to be posting?”

“ Yes, but.” Harry takes a deep solid breath. “ If we are going to do this, then I want to be able to speak freely and openly about Saxon and to do that, I need to do this first.”

Harry begins to film a video right then and there on the spot while Louis stays out of frame. He has no idea what is coming and it makes him nervous.

“ Hey everyone, it’s me, Harry. It’s been a while since I last posted, and I want to apologise for my absence. I’ve had some personal matters to attend to, ones that have been consuming a lot of my time and energy. I feel it’s only fair to share these with you, as they’ve had a significant impact on my life. You all know me pretty well, and I appreciate the support you’ve shown me over the years, but recently, my life took an unexpected turn. I received news that changed everything. It’s a mix of emotions – some good, some not so flattering. I’ve come to learn that I am the father of missing child, Saxon Tomlinson, who disappeared from Doncaster last September. Although there were speculations in the media, I’ve kept this to myself for a while, for various reasons, but now I’m reaching out for your help. Together with Louis Tomlinson, we’ve created a dedicated YouTube channel for updates and information about our son. I’d appreciate it if you could head over and check it out. The link will be pinned. Thank you all for your continued support.”

Oh.

Louis is amazed that Harry had just done that. Primarily because he had once said Liam had advised against it and now Louis is hoping this won’t stuff up Harry’s career. He’s taken aback by the unexpected surge of happiness swelling within him though, grateful that Harry has openly acknowledged and accepted Saxon by declaring it publicly.

Harry looks happy, but he feels there might be some apprehension there too.

“ I cannot believe you just did that. Is Liam going to be mad? Oh god Harry I don’t want you getting into trouble.”

Louis resumes his seat next to him and places his hand on his thigh.

“ Thank you though. That was definitely a surprise but it was really sweet.”

“ I needed to do it and you know what, I don’t care what Liam says.” Harry laughs out.   

Together, they sat side by side, and went on to introduce themselves in their first ever video. It was a deeply personal endeavour, with Harry providing Louis with rehearsed lines. They delved into the details of Saxon’s disappearance, providing formal contact information for anyone with info or sightings. While the video wasn’t overly lengthy, it was sufficient to engage Harry’s viewers. The channel attracted numerous comments, the majority of which were positive, and was shared multiple times. And how gossip spreads like wildfire, It came as no shock when Saxon’s name soon graced the headlines shortly thereafter.

TV Anchor:

“Good evening. Today, YouTube personality Harry Styles made a significant announcement regarding missing child Saxon Tomlinson. Styles publicly acknowledged his paternity of the child in a video posted online, urging his followers to remain vigilant. This revelation comes after a period of absence from the public eye for Louis Tomlinson, following the police’s classification of Saxon’s case as cold. Now, it appears that both Styles and Tomlinson are taking proactive measures to locate their missing son. Saxon disappeared on September 28th, and despite extensive efforts, no leads have been uncovered. Styles and Tomlinson have established a dedicated YouTube channel for updates on the case, the link to which is displayed on your screens. If you have any information that could aid in the search, please contact the relevant authorities. Our thoughts are with Saxon’s family, and we hope for his safe return home.”

And bingo, mission completed.

END OF FLASHBACK

“Alright, Liam, what’s on the agenda for my short-lived stay? You have two weeks to jam in as much work as you want, where do you want to start?” Harry inquires with a grin.

“Whoa, hold up a fucking second.” Niall interjects, clearly surprised. “You’re only sticking around for a couple of weeks? You are heading back that soon?”

Liam shoots a smug glance at Niall before replying, “As I told him earlier, he’s totally fucking whipped.”

🚨

After a long two weeks—14 days, 336 hours, 20,160 seconds—Harry finds himself standing at Louis’ doorstep once again. It’s nearly 8 p.m, and after the journey from landing in London to enduring the trip to Doncaster, Harry is exhausted. He’s tempted to simply barge through the door, but there’s a hesitation inside him. Ever since Louis kissed him before he left for LA, they haven’t discussed it. Despite numerous phone calls, emails, and FaceTime sessions, they’ve avoided addressing that moment entirely. He just doesn’t know what to expect.

As Harry prepares to knock, he hears a noise nearby and glances to his side. Across the yard, he spots old man George struggling with his rubbish bins. Harry feels conflicted. While part of him relishes in the idea of watching George struggle, deep down, he knows it’s not in his nature to ignore someone in need, he was raised better than that. Setting his bag down, Harry makes his way across the yard, manoeuvring around the hedge until he reaches George’s driveway.

“You need a hand there? I’d be happy to help.” Harry offers, taking a step closer to the elderly man.

George places his handkerchief across his mouth, coughing uncontrollably. He tries to respond, but it comes out muffled. Harry takes another step forward, prompting George to raise his hand.

“No, I’m fine. I got it.” George insists.

Harry raises his hands in a defensive gesture, about to turn back, when he watches George drop his rubbish bag, causing it to break open.

“For goodness’ bloody sakes!” George mutters, and without a second thought, Harry moves to help pick up the spilled rubbish. George has no option but to watch as Harry collects the scattered items, and for some reason, he appears a little on edge.

“There you go.” Harry says as he places the items into the bin, and to his surprise, George actually gives his thanks.

“Um, thank you. I would have done it myself, but I’m not feeling too well these days. “ George says in discomfort.

Harry smiled understandingly and headed back next door. As he walks past the front window, he spots Louis inside, lying on the lounge. Louis doesn’t look happy, or perhaps he’s just tired. Harry hadn’t informed Louis he was coming tonight; he wanted to surprise him.

Harry’s nerves fray as he waits after ringing the bell. Unexpectedly, Louis swings open the door, and without hesitation, Louis envelops him in a tight hug, his presence unannounced but undoubtedly welcomed.

“Harry! What? Why didn’t you tell me?” Louis exclaims, tightening his hug and planting a soft kiss on Harry’s cheek.

“Just wanted to surprise you, that’s all.” Harry replies with a grin.

As they make their way into the house, Louis closes and locks the door behind them. Harry then starts to explain his encounter with the elderly neighbour.

“You’re not gonna believe this, but I just spoke to the man next door, George. He doesn’t look so good. I think he’s ill. I helped with his rubbish.” Harry explains.

Louis just frowns.

“I mean, why? I would have let that horrid piece of-” Louis stops mid-sentence, noticing the way Harry is looking at him.

“What?” Louis asks.

“I know he hasn’t been the nicest of fellows, but he’s getting really old. Anyway, let’s not waste time speaking of him. How have you been?” Harry responds, steering the conversation away from George and focusing on catching up with Louis instead.

As they sink into the cushions, Louis informs Harry with vivid tales of the past few weeks, recounting everything from the amusing mishaps to the heartfelt moments and even the boring updates of being back at work that Harry missed out on. He paints a colourful picture, from the comical chaos of his family gatherings to the poignant conversations with his sisters.

Louis chuckles as he recalls the visit from his mother and sisters, sharing how Lotti was in tears over boy drama and how his mum tried to console her with her trademark humour. He then shifts to a more serious tone as he recounts the surreal experience of being recognized at the supermarket, realising that some people now know him not from Saxon’s case but from Harry’s videos.

Through it all, Harry listens intently, nodding along and occasionally interjecting with a chuckle or a sympathetic expression. He absorbs every word, eager to catch up on the life he temporarily left behind.

After Louis finishes his update, Harry eagerly jumps in, filling Louis with stories of his own adventures in LA. He describes the bustling energy of the city that never sleeps as he talks about the excitement of shooting the new videos with Liam, and the satisfaction of seeing his creative vision come to life on screen.

Louis decides to broach the topic that’s been on his mind since Harry arrived. With a slight nervousness in his voice, he turns to Louis, ready to share his proposal.

“So, if you don’t mind, since I know you are probably tired and it’s getting late but I was thinking of doing a live stream tonight, if you are up for it ofcourse. The YouTube videos you asked me to do are all done and ready to be posted, but I thought engaging with people in a Q&A style might keep them interested. What do you reckon?”

“Sounds like a great idea. Let me just pop to the toilet real quick, and then we can start.”

While waiting for Harry to return, Louis’ mind goes into overdrive. Despite having made a few videos already, it doesn’t really get any easier having to face people about Saxon. He never knows what types of things people may ask or what some might say about his boy. He silently hypes himself up until Harry finally returns.

“Ready?”

“Yep.” Louis says, but he is pretty sure he didn’t sound convincing in the slightest.

After being granted a green light, Louis went ahead and set up a live session, creating an intimate atmosphere with soft lighting and cosy surroundings. The “fans” like clockwork had tuned in eagerly, their comments flooding the screen the instant they went live. Among the numerous inquiries, one stood out, and Louis decided it was time to address it.

“Alright, folks, let’s get to some of your questions before we begin.”

He answers the following three instantly: The ones that he knows he can answer truthfully and without too much info as Harry sits and nods beside him.

How did you two find each other again?

What’s one thing that helps you cope without Saxon, Louis?

Do you think Saxon is safe?

He spots another comment that reads, “ Are you upset with the police for giving up ?“ and he wishes he could respond, but Harry had mentioned that Liam advised them to steer clear of anything related to the police.

“Here’s an interesting one. Are Harry and I a couple?“ Louis says as a blush develops upon his cheeks. 

The comment section buzzed with anticipation, fans anxiously awaiting their response.

“Harry and I spend a lot of time together. He’s been my rock, providing an incredible amount of support. I can’t express how grateful I am for everything he’s done for me. But, to answer your question, no, currently we are not.” Louis clears his throat, stealing a quick glance at Harry before addressing the intended audience in a shy hushed tone.  “But I wish we were.”

Louis smiled at the camera, his gaze shifting back to Harry, who found it challenging to meet the lens, his emotions swirling because what?

The comments erupted with excitement and playful remarks like ’ Omg, Harry is blushing ,’ and ’ What are you waiting for, Harry ?’ Yet, among the positivity, one comment caught Louis’ eye, briefly causing him to lose his smile.

Comment: ’ Nothing like putting Harry on the spot, trying to make him want you. If he hasn’t made a move yet, get the memo, loser.’

It stung, if only for a moment, but Louis was determined not to let it overshadow the genuine support pouring in from the majority of the fans. He maintained his composure, continuing to engage with the positive comments, determined to focus on the love and encouragement coming their way.

With Harry having gone quiet, Louis concludes the live.

“Thank you to each and every one of you who consistently tune in to support us in the search for Saxon. Your engagement means the world to Harry and I, helping to keep Saxon’s name in the public eye. Once again, we plead with you – if you know anything, any detail, no matter how big or small, please reach out. Until next time, keep an eye out for our little boy, and we hope to have him home soon. Thank you.”

Louis lets out a sigh of relief as the Live session comes to an end. He’s grateful for the opportunity to connect with people, but the constant stream of questions and comments had started to feel overwhelming tonight, making him feel like it had all been a bad idea. But he really is grateful Harry suggested creating these social accounts. He is sure it is working and that Saxons name won’t be forgotten. Now that the filming is over and out of the way, he can finally relax and unwind with Harry by his side.

“ Was that okay? Did I do alright?” Louis asks.

In a deep moment of ‘ love ’ all types of ‘ thinking ’ stops. That moment is tremendously powerful but at the same time so intensively ‘ alive ’. It intrigues you so much that your entire being captivates your attention to the point where all cognitive processes simply cease.

When you are surrounded in that great wonder, you are not just in great awe, but great love .

Harry can’t think, because his mind is still stuck at “ But I wish we were.’

He is caught between disbelief and hope as he replays Louis’ words in his mind. It was a simple sentence, but it carries so much weight, leaving Harry in a state of bewilderment. Could it be true? Did Louis really mean what he said, or was it just a figment of his tired imagination?

The time they had spent apart was filled with video calls and messages, yet it all remained within the realm of PG. Beyond the sweet goodnight messages and the routine “Hope you have a great day” conversations, their relationship hadn’t ventured any further but Louis had hugged him tightly upon their reunion, planting a kiss on his cheek. Now, however, Harry begins to wonder if there had been more to it, if they had been slowly opening up to each other on a more intimate level without realising it.

Yes, yes they had, and now his stomach was doing backflips at the thought. Because, it’s true what they say, is it not, that time apart makes the heart grow fonder?”

“Harry?” Louis is convinced he made a mistake, judging by the unfamiliar expression on Harry’s face. “I’m sorry if I ruined my lines or anything and-”

“What? No, no no, you did so well. I’m incredibly proud of you. Look at you all professional now, might have to enlist you for Shadow Trails.”

Louis smiles. “Want a coffee?”

“ Yes please.” 

Finalising the filming initiates some quiet time as Harry tweaks with the video a little by fine tuning each frame. With nimble fingers, he navigates the editing software, making subtle adjustments to perfect the footage before entrusting it to Liam for the final polish.

“Hey, Lou, do you mind if I use the shower?” Louis smiles softly, shaking his head. “You don’t need to ask, Harry. Go ahead.” With a grateful nod, Harry stretches before making his way upstairs to the main bathroom. Upon entering, his eyes are drawn immediately to the bath toys neatly stacked in the corner, a sad reminder of the child he still dreams of meeting one day.

As he stands under the warm spray of the shower, his mind is preoccupied with how to tell Louis how he feels. The time they spent apart killed him, but it also made everything clearer. Harry wants to tell Louis that he’s in love with him, but he’s unsure of how to approach the subject. He promised himself, Oli, and Jay that he would take it slow, and he’s afraid of breaking that promise.

After finishing his shower, Harry dries himself off and gets dressed. As he heads downstairs, he takes a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation he knows he needs to have with him. When he reaches the living room, he finds Louis sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone. Harry approaches him, takes a seat beside him, and gathers his courage to speak up.

Amidst Harry’s anticipation, Louis bursts into laughter, catching Harry off guard. “What’s so funny?” Harry asks, a hint of confusion in his voice. Louis leans closer, adjusting his phone to show Harry the screen.

“Do you ever listen to those quirky Sabrina Carpenter Nonsense outros or whatever they are called? I stumbled upon some on TikTok, and they’re surprisingly hilarious. Don’t even ask how I ended up on this side of the algorithm; I’m still trying to figure it all out.” Louis remarks with a chuckle.

“I have yes and I mean, it’s just rhyming, right? I bet anyone could do it.” Harry says confidently, a smirk playing on his lips. “Even I could, and that’s saying something.”

Louis laughs.

“Oh, really? So you think you’re the next Sabrina Carpenter, huh? Care to give it a shot then? Show me what you’ve got, smarty pants.” Louis challenges, raising an eyebrow.

Harry is feeling playful, egging Louis on with a mischievous grin determined to prolong Louis’ infectious smile for just a little bit longer. Harry couldn’t help but feel a rush of warmth in his chest.

“ Alright, okay, I just might.“

As Harry’s voice fills the room, Louis feels a surge of happiness coursing through him, lifting the weight off his shoulders that had been there for weeks.

🎵“ He has the hair the eyes the tatts he seems to have it all, his only flaw is that he isn’t very tall.“🎵

“ Heeeyyy! “ Louis laughs and playfully smacks his arm. You really have returned back here with a smart mouth haven’t ya!“

Harry’s smirk widens, hinting that he’s not quite done teasing yet.

“ Alright, alright, let me try again.“ He proposes with a whimsical tone, clearing his throat dramatically for added effect.

🎵“ His intelligence is high so many questions that I wanna ask, but I keep getting distracted by that round arse.“🎵

“ HARRY !“ Louis squeals as he bursts into laughter.

The flirting isn’t new, but there’s a different energy in the air, as if it’s reached new heights. Louis suddenly stops laughing, and for a moment, Harry worries he’s overstepped a boundary. Louis suddenly adopts a serious demeanour, his voice soft as he begins to sing his own rendition, catching Harry completely off guard and leaving him in a state of shock, utterly unprepared for Louis’ unexpected performance.

🎵“ I get lonely many nights it really hurts me, But you’re the only person that I wanna see. I think I love a boy but it’s so hard to say, especially when that lad lives down in L-A.“ 🎵

Silence.

Silence, in its profound simplicity, often speaks volumes, weaving intricate narratives in the absence of words. It possesses a poetic quality, composing verses of introspection and contemplation without uttering a single syllable.

Louis, feeling a surge of panic, swiftly rises from his seat and strides across the room, his back turned to Harry. Inwardly, he curses himself for possibly rushing things, fearing he’s made a grave mistake.

“ I’m sorry. I- I shouldn’t have-“

There was no way Harry was going to let Louis feel bad about this. Regaining his composure, Harry swiftly shakes off his current trance and steps closer to Louis, determined to ease Louis’ discomfort.

Yet, as he approaches, Harry finds himself at a loss for words, unsure of how to reassure Louis that he too feels the same. God, it’s been a long day and he wasn’t expecting any of this. Thinking fast, he decides he doesn’t know how to say what he wants to say…so in Sabrina style, he sings it instead.

🎵“ I’m sorry I just froze and didn’t sp-eak, I was too caught up feeling the burn on both my ch-eeks. Your words came and hit me all of a sud-den, if only the boy knew I’ve loved him since we first met back in Lon-don.” 🎵

Fuck, thats it.

With their declarations now out in the open, there was a sense of finality. They had crossed a threshold together, and now there was no turning back.

They stare, stare for way too long and Harry cannot for the life of him take it any longer. They felt an undeniable tension in the air that stretched between them, sensual and electric. Unable to withstand the intensity any longer, Harry shifted and leaned in slowly, giving Louis ample opportunity to retreat if he wasn’t ready. With a gentle touch, Harry cupped Louis’ cheeks, his heart pounding with every movement.

As their lips met, it was as if time itself stood still. Harry’s lips moved against Louis’ with a raw, primal energy, igniting a fire within them both. Their breath mingled, and Harry felt the world fade away. Breathless, they surrendered to the moment, lost in each other like never before.

Right now, nothing else mattered. There was only Harry and Louis, bound together by their kiss that conveyed a depth of pure emotion that words could never seem to capture. And as Louis parted his lips, inviting Harry in, it was as if they were merging into one, their souls intertwining in a moment of pure intimacy.

“ Are you sure about this?” Harry asks in almost a whisper.

“ Yes.” Louis says, pulling away from Harry’s lips to study his face. “ Are you?”

“ Mmhmm.”

Harry is not consumed with the desire to tear off clothes and devour him nor rush through all the passion. He wishes to savour every moment, to intimately explore and cherish every facet of Louis’ being, from his mind to his body to his very soul.

“ Do you wanna um, take this up-”

“ Yes.” Harry responds interrupting with no hesitation.

Harry intertwines their fingers and something tells Louis to take it down a notch. The most important gift you can give someone is your love and time, so slow down and smile, because after all, you don’t want to rush something that you wished would last forever.

As they ascend the stairs together, their movements seem to flow in slow motion, and if you listened hard enough you could possibly hear Louis’ heartbeat. During Harry’s absence in LA, Louis had ample time for reflection, realising that he couldn’t navigate life’s challenges without Harry by his side. Harry’s presence elicited emotions within him that he had never experienced before, eclipsing and outweighing any past mistakes or negative thoughts and leaving them behind in the wake of newfound faith and hope.

Louis wanted Harry.

At the top of the stairs, they pause outside Louis’ bedroom, their gazes locked.  With a faint smile, Louis reaches for the door handle, the anticipation silently killing them both.

As they reach the bed, they turn to face each other. With a tender touch, Harry leans in, his lips grazing Louis’ skin just below his ear, each press of his lips moving achingly slow but still managing to draw out a moan from Louis with every touch. Louis tilts his head to the side, granting Harry more access, as Harry’s hands slide under the fabric of Louis’ shirt, lifting it gently above his head before laying them both down, Harry hovering above him.    Harry doesn’t just want sex, he wants to encounter the entire build up: the slow kissing, the passionate kissing, the pulling each other closer, the neck kisses, the grinding, the biting, the heavy breathing, the pauses when you catch your breath… Only then, does he want the sex.

Harry desires everything, but patience seems to be in short supply tonight, for both of them. With Harry above him, Louis, emboldened by the moment, reaches out, his hand finding its way to Harry’s pants, feeling the hardness.

“ Oh god, Lou.” Harry breathes out.

But Louis simply smiles, enjoying Harry’s flustered state.

“Take ‘em off.” Louis demands, prompting Harry to hurriedly remove his pants, mirroring Louis’ actions.

“ I have waited so long for you to touch me again.”

Harry releases a deep, primal moan as he gently presses their groins together, igniting a firestorm of sensation as their cocks connect rubbing against each other. Harry’s gentle thrusts create a sinful friction between them, setting off a whirlwind of desire as he devours Louis’ mouth hungrily.

Harry can’t let Louis burn him up this way, afterall, he wanted to go slow, but he can’t resist him either. For no mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed, so how is Harry expected to?

Louis Tomlinson naked beneath him, sensitive and squirming at every touch was just too much to handle. Every person has a raunchy side in the bedroom, it just depends on if the partner can bring it to life. In roughly fifteen seconds, Louis is about to become very aware that he has just unlocked Harry’s inner beast.

“ Make me sore, Harry.”

Harry lets all his emotions take over, that lust, that desire, the need . He quickened his pace, driven by the desperate hunger, planting kisses and leaving teasing licks in his wake before zeroing in on Louis’ throbbing cock, engulfing him eagerly in his warm, wet mouth.

Harry applies a brief but intense suction, fully aware that he’s not aiming to bring Louis to climax just yet. With a wet pop, he releases Louis’ throbbing length before seizing his hips firmly and flipping him over onto all fours, extracting a surprised gasp followed by a light chuckle from Louis.

“ What was it you said earlier, sore was it?” Harry asks, delivering a sharp smack to Louis’ ass, prompting a startled jump at the sudden sting.

Before Louis can react, Harry deftly spreads his cheeks apart and licks a long stripe up his hole, revealing his now wet, eager entrance. With another spit, Harry indulges himself, using the saliva as lubrication as he begins to rim Louis, his tongue exploring every inch of his sensitive opening with fervent determination. Overwhelmed by Harry’s heavenly assault, Louis’ upper body collapses onto the mattress, his strength waning under the intense pleasure.

“ Fuck, Harry. Please…fuck.”

Feeling his own arousal building to an almost unbearable level, Harry’s hand instinctively gropes at his own throbbing cock as he persists in pleasuring Louis. On the third penetration of his tongue, delving deeper inside him, Louis emits a sound unlike anything Harry has ever heard before—a moan laced with desperation, a testament to the intensity of the pleasure coursing through him.

“ That sounded sinfully delicious.”

Harry chuckles softly as he sits back up and watches Louis’ head tilt back, revealing his graceful profile.

In that moment, Harry is overwhelmed by the sight of Louis, struck by his beauty and grace. Harry finds himself momentarily lost in Louis’ sheer perfection, it’s a moment that Harry wishes he could freeze in time, etching Louis’ serene expression into his memory forever.

Louis jolts Harry out of his thoughts with a not so subtle lick of his lips and now he is ready to proceed.

“ Ready to scream Tomlinson?”

Louis wiggles his hips ever so slightly, a silent invitation that Harry eagerly accepts. With a few preparatory strokes, Harry positions himself, recalling Louis’ preference for a slow, intense burn. As he inches inside, the tip of his head meeting resistance, Louis emits a deep, satisfied “Mmm” signalling his pleasure at the sensation.

Harry intensifies the rhythm, syncing their movements as they both revel in the exquisite sexual connection between them. Louis relishes the sensation of fullness with Harry buried deep inside him, while Harry savours the intoxicating tightness of Louis’ walls.

“ W.w.w.wait!!” Louis rushes out.

As Louis’ head drops towards the mattress, Harry notices a change, a softness that replaces the urgency.

“Wait.” Louis murmurs again, his voice slightly muffled against the sheets.

“Condom, Harry. Please. I can’t… I don’t want to risk any more ba-”

Harry’s expression softens with understanding, realising his oversight.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, Lou. I’m sorry.” Harry says, his tone heavy with regret. “Let me just…”

With an apologetic glance, Harry rises from the bed and strides over to his bag. He rummages through it, retrieving his wallet, and swiftly grabs a condom before making his way back to Louis.

Sensing the shift in mood, Harry pauses, wanting to ensure Louis is still on board.

“We don’t have to continue” Harry begins tentatively, but before he can finish, Louis interrupts.

“Harry, fuck me, please. I’m horny as fuck and desperate to cum. Please, hurry up.” Louis urges.

Harry grins at the eagerness in Louis’ voice before reentering him. It doesn’t take long for Harry to find Louis’ magical spot once again.

“ Yes, yes Harry right there.”

Harry delights in pleasuring Louis, but after a few minutes, he smirks mischievously to himself before abruptly halting his movements.

“ What the fuck H!”

Harry revels in the knowledge that he’s teasing Louis, who was on the verge of climaxing, but he can’t resist being playful.

Having pulled out, Louis eagerly presses back, craving Harry’s re-entry, but instead, Harry crawls up his back, hovering over him, his breath hot against Louis’ ear as he whispers seductively.

“ Just to be sure here, we are both a hundred percent awake this time right?”

Louis chuckles, his laughter blending with the passion as he turns his head and captures Harry’s lips in a heated kiss.

“Yes, yes, and triple fucking yes.” he breathes against Harry’s lips. “Now, please, finish me.”

Harry loses himself at hearing that, abandoning the slow intimate pace for raw passion as he plunges into Louis with unrestrained fervour. Each forceful thrust elicits screams and moans from Louis, who peppers the air with profanities that Harry can’t get enough of, fueling his desire to keep hearing them for eternity.

Louis reaches his climax and comes beautifully, his white streaks of cum sprouting all over the bed. He felt a rush of gratitude coursing through him, because while Harry has been the one driving most of the physical effort, Louis feels thoroughly pleasured. Yeah he was glad it was all over, well for him at least, he felt thoroughly spent, well and truly wrecked. As Louis had reached his peak, Harry gripped tight onto Louis’ hips and released his load with a sense of intense satisfaction.

“ Fuuuuck.”

After discarding the condom, Harry collapses onto the bed, desperately trying to catch his breath. He pants heavily, his chest rising and falling rapidly, while Louis smiles at him, both of them noticing the sheen of sweat glistening on their skin.

As Louis looks up at the ceiling, Harry notices his smile fade, and a sense of unease settles over him. He wonders if Louis is upset or if he’s just overthinking things, but the seriousness in Louis’ tone immediately grabs his attention.

“How dare you, Harry.” Louis says quietly, his words sending a shiver down Harry’s spine. Harry’s heart starts racing, consumed by the fear of what he might have done wrong.

As confusion clouds Harry’s expression, Louis can’t let the moment drag on. With a determined resolve, he rolls over, straddling Harry’s lap, and leans in to gently peck his lips.

“How dare you make me feel this happy.” Louis murmurs, allowing Harry to exhale, his tension melting away as he returns the kiss. As Harry gazes into those captivating blue eyes, he feels himself drawn into another dimension, where time always stands still and everything else fades away.

Now, and from the very beginning, Harry’s gaze has always imbued Louis with a sense of security, warmth, and profound love. Yet tonight, for reasons unknown, this sensation feels even more enduring, more permanent and stronger than ever before.

In the depth of each person’s heart lies a unique pain, expressed through various avenues—actions, words, smiles, and sometimes, hidden within their eyes. As Louis peers into Harry’s gaze, he discerns a reflection of his own pain and now as it appears, happiness, a shared understanding that now binds them together forever. In that profound moment, as they share that “ Look ” that reassuring gaze of “ Im here, I’m not going anywhere ” Louis feels a sense of great acceptance, realising that Harry comprehends the intricacies of his entire being, flaws and all, yet chooses to love him unconditionally. It’s a revelation that touches Louis deeply, igniting an unprecedented depth of emotion within him, all thanks to the profound impact that Harry’s presence has made in his life.

With a tender gesture, Louis reaches out and softly brushes his thumb along Harry’s chin, leaving a trail of warmth in its wake.

“You always find a way to touch me, even without using your hands, Harry. It’s something special, please don’t ever stop doing that.”

The sincerity in Louis’ voice tugs at Harry’s heartstrings, evoking a swell of emotion within him. Harry finds himself overwhelmed with gratitude and love, filled with a profound sense of appreciation for Louis and everything they share.

And yeah, that makes Harry want to cry.

The serenity of their intimate moment is shattered by the sudden ding of Louis’ phone. With a startled jolt, he rolls over and sits up, his eyes scanning the screen with a rapid intensity, betraying a sense of urgency.

“Lou, everything alright?” Harry’s voice is laced with concern as he watches Louis’ reaction.

Ignoring Harry’s inquiry, Louis remains fixated on his phone, his brows furrowed in confusion. “What the…” He mutters under his breath, letting his phone slip from his hand, sliding down and landing onto the bed. In a whirlwind of movement, he grabs his clothes and hastily begins dressing, pacing back and forth in the small room in a matter of seconds.

“What’s going on?” Harry presses, as he watches Louis’ frantic movements. Louis’ hand runs through his hair, his forehead glistening with beads of sweat as he shakes his head in disbelief. Suddenly, he looks disheveled and distressed, and Harry’s worry intensifies at the sight.

“ Louis, answer me please. What the hell is happening. What was that notification for?”

“Let me see.” Harry says, his voice steady despite the growing concern.

“ Read it.” Louis firmly says handing him the phone. He notices it’s a DM on Louis’ personal Instagram. The second thing is that the username does not look legit and is very vague and generic.

The paragraph is not that long but it’s not too short either, but Harry can tell Louis has been poring over it repeatedly, judging by the time it took him to initially set the phone down.

He reads the message aloud, each word sinking in as they both realise its profound implications that are about to haunt and alter the course of their lives forever.

“ Apologies if this sounds strange, but I feel compelled to ask. Did your son Saxon, who’s missing, have a toy named ‘Broom broom’ or something similar? Today, I witnessed a child with a man near the railway station in London. The child was desperately asking for his ‘broom broom,’ and it sounded like the man had seemingly made a promise to retrieve it and failed to deliver, leaving the child visibly upset and distressed. The child’s face had struck a chord with me, but it didn’t register until later when I looked up his name online. I heard the man mention ‘Eurotunnel to Paris’ while on the phone. I hope this information is of use. It’s all I have, and I’m sorry if it’s not much.”

“Harry, someone saw him!” Louis blurts out, his pacing growing more frantic with every step. “ Harry, Harry.” Louis repeats, his breathing accelerating as he becomes more distraught. Tears stream down his face as he continues.

“ Someone saw my boy not long ago, he is still alive, Eurotunnel to Paris, holy shit they are taking my boy out of the UK, they don’t have a passport, they can’t take him, Harry what do i do, help me!”

Harry gently places the phone beside him and rises, his hands landing on Louis’ arms in a bid to soothe him. “Breathe, just breathe,” he urges, but Louis can’t seem to find his breath. “Do I call Detective Garcia and Reign? Do I message back? What the fuck do I do, H?”

Harry who has hurried to dress himself looks at Louis who is distraught. They’re both at a loss, unsure of their next step. Harry glances back at the phone, considering their options.

“Maybe we should speak to Reign first and see what he says. Oh, wait. We need to screenshot the message in case we lose it.” Louis lunges for the phone, but his expression immediately falls.

“ No, no no no no no no, damn it!” He screams. “Fucking hell. It’s gone, it’s gone Harry.” Louis curses.

He hands the phone over to Harry, who confirms that not only is the message erased, but the entire account has been wiped clean.

Harry echoes Louis’ frustration, feeling equally helpless.

“ Fuck….FUCK !!”

In the midst of their distress, they exchange glances fraught with fear and a renewed sense of hopelessness.

“Perhaps it was just a cruel prank, Lou.” Harry suggests, his voice tinged with uncertainty. “They might have panicked and deleted the account after seeing we opened the message.”

Harry observes a spark of recognition in Louis’ eyes, prompting him to point at the phone and issue a command with urgency.

“Call Garcia, and I’m getting Reign on the line NOW!” Louis’ intensity catches Harry off guard.

“Lou, we don’t even know if—” Harry starts, but Louis cuts him off with conviction.

“Oh, it was real alright, Harry.”

Harry’s curiosity gets the best of him. “How do you know that?”

“Because the public were never told about the ‘broom broom’ Harry. Only the police knew about it.” Louis replies firmly.

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Oop-

👀

Chapter 14- Letting go?

A/N

Sorry it took so long . 😭

‘ Tough times don’t last forever right? Perseverance is what you need in order to help love grow stronger, right? When you love each other, you don’t give up on each other. If the love is real, then yes, it is as simple as that. You may run into a few speed bumps along the way, but if you love someone with your entire being, you dont allow those obstacles to become roadblocks. Simple… as… that.’ 

🚨🚨🚨 

Within the bustling London train station, Harry and Louis find themselves immersed in the symphony of afternoon activity. The expansive hall extends before them, a dynamic tapestry of movement and continuous sounds. Sunlight gracefully filters through the lofty windows, illuminating the vibrant crowd with streams of light. Individuals of diverse backgrounds and ages navigate past them, their footsteps resonating subtly against the polished floors. The atmosphere is infused with the enticing aroma of freshly brewed coffee, while the distant rumble of departing trains provides a rhythmic backdrop to the scene.

Louis, his eyes filled with desperation, scans the faces that pass by, each one a potential clue in their search for their missing son. Beside him, Harry stays diligent and strong, he needs to be, not for himself but for Lou.   

Despite the daytime hustle and bustle, there’s an undercurrent of tension. Louis, visibly on edge, can’t seem to find any semblance of calm. His eyes dart frantically, scanning the sea of faces that pass by, each one a potential lead or clue  in their search for Saxon. Harry, feeling overwhelmed by Louis’ agitation, feels a knot of anxiety tightening in his chest as he watches Louis’ relentless search. Again .

He struggles to find a way to ease his partner’s restless energy and despite knowing that the message they received stated Saxon had been spotted days ago, Louis remains unable to shake the adrenaline-fueled hope that pulses through him, keeping him locked in a perpetual state of anticipation as he searches the throng of passing strangers. Yet amidst the flurry of activity, Louis and Harry remain rooted in their spot, their eyes locked on the crowd, hoping against all odds for a glimpse of their son, an encounter that still hasn’t happened.

Unfortunately, the longer a child has been missing, the more challenging it can become to locate them. However, there have been cases where missing children have been found months or even years after their disappearance and that’s the hope that both men are clinging to… for the time being.   

Louis and Harry have remained in position at the train station now for days. Louis, in particular, appears to be running on fumes, his bloodshot eyes betraying the fact that he hasn’t slept or eaten since their arrival three days ago. 

Harry, once buoyed by a glimmer of hope, now finds himself grappling with the harsh reality that their efforts may be in vain. As the hours drag on, it becomes increasingly apparent that Saxon is nowhere to be found. 

Despite their exhaustion and mounting frustration, Harry can’t help but acknowledge the futility of their situation. If Saxon had indeed been at the station, like they had been told, the notion that someone would willingly return with Saxon to the same place, especially after all this time, seems increasingly improbable. The likelihood of someone returning Saxon AT ALL , after all this time, seems slim at best.

In the face of such daunting odds, Harry is forced to confront the harsh reality that their search may be pointless, their hopes slowly fading away as they continue to wait and search, wait and search .

🚨

FLASHBACK- 3 DAYS EARLIER

🚨

Louis stormed into the police station, his frantic and panicked demeanour immediately drawing the attention of many officers but in particular, the very one he wanted: Officer Garcia. 

Despite the urgency in Louis’ plea after explaining what had happened, Garcia faced a challenging predicament—dispatching a patrol car without any concrete evidence to support their claims.

However, Garcia recognized that familiar desperation etched across Louis’ face. Still feeling guilty for pretty much ‘ giving up’ on the case, and with a determined resolve, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Ignoring the bureaucratic hurdles, she made the decision to handle the situation personally, unwilling to waste precious time waiting for protocol.

“Okay, Okay. Let me make some calls. Please grant me a twenty-minute window to organise my personal deployment to London. Simultaneously, I will leverage my connections to discreetly secure assistance from a colleague in the London department. It’s crucial to handle this matter with utmost confidentiality, considering the absence of conclusive evidence, which could potentially lead to resource misallocation.”

Louis, adamant about taking action, nodded in agreement but refused to be left behind. His insistence echoed in his voice as he pleaded to be part of the response effort. Recognizing the futility in trying to dissuade him, Garcia reluctantly agreed, knowing that Louis’ unwavering determination could be an asset in their search.

Upon their arrival in London, Louis and Harry’s hopes were met with disappointment as they scoured the train station and surrounding areas for any sign of Saxon. The platform was teeming with travelers, yet there was no trace of their missing son among the crowds.

Their frustration deepened as they realised the absence of any potential leads. Despite their desperate search, after questioning store owners and general staff, it came to light that there was no camera footage to review, no one had seen or heard anything. With no witnesses coming forward with any helpful information, the lack of tangible evidence only served to heighten their sense of despair.

Louis, overcome with emotion, found himself unable to hold back tears as he stood amidst the sea of strangers, his heart heavy with anguish. Harry, grappling with his own feelings of helplessness, wrapped his arms around Louis to cradle him, offering silent support.

The thought of Saxon possibly being in the same vicinity, mere days or even hours apart, weighed heavily on Louis, it crushed him. It felt as though he was ever so close, yet ever so far. Agonisingly just out of reach.

“Guys, I’m sorry. We knew this would be a long shot.” Garcia spoke softly, a gentle smile gracing her lips.

Louis, now seeing Garcia as more than just a police officer but also as a friend, reached over to embrace her in a heartfelt hug. “Thank you for trying. I’m sorry for wasting your time.” he expressed with genuine gratitude.

Garcia pulled back, shaking her head. “No. Don’t do that Louis, you did no such thing.” she insisted, her expression conveying understanding and compassion.

“Your actions were driven by impulse and love, and while the information didn’t lead us to Saxon, it did offer a glimmer of hope didn’t it. While we haven’t found him yet, it’s reassuring to know that he’s still out there, he is still alive. I want you to promise me that if you receive any more messages or any other information, no matter how insignificant it may seem, you’ll reach out to me immediately.”

Louis wiped his eyes, grateful for Harry’s comforting presence as he gently rubbed his back.

“Thank you.” Harry murmured softly, his expression conveying appreciation as he reached out to shake Garcia’s hand.

“Well, I must be heading off. It’s been a long day.” Garcia announced, her gaze shifting between Louis and Harry, silently assessing their next moves. Despite her intuition telling her otherwise, she couldn’t help but wonder if Louis would also depart. Yet, she knew him well enough by now to sense that he wasn’t ready to leave, not just yet.

And he doesn’t.

“Be careful and good luck.” she said as she turned to leave, her words heavy with sincerity. But before she could take another step, she paused, turning back to face them one last time.

“By the way.” she added, a warm smile gracing her lips. “The YouTube videos were a great idea. Keep it up.”

Her unexpected compliment caught them off guard, but it warmed their hearts nonetheless. With a grateful nod, they watched as she walked away, her words echoing in their minds long after she was gone.

After Garcia departs, Louis merely exchanges a glance with Harry, and it’s all they need to silently agree to stay put. Together, they continue their search, tirelessly circulating through the train station, showing photos of Saxon to workers and passengers alike. They refuse to leave, remaining side by side throughout the night and into the following days. For three days straight, they remain steadfast in their quest to find their missing son, united in their resolve to leave no stone unturned.

As time wore on, the men remained in the train station, their eyes tired but peeled. Each passing hour served as a painful reminder of the uncertainty that loomed over them, leaving them to wonder if they would ever find the answers they desperately seeked. 

🚨

END OF FLASHBACK

🚨

As exhaustion settled in, Harry finally mustered the courage to speak up. 

“Louis, it’s time to go home.” Harry urged gently, his heart breaking at the sight of Louis’ evident distress. He couldn’t bear to witness Louis crumbling after all the effort and time they had invested in Louis’ mental health. 

Louis, however, seemed frozen in place, his gaze fixed on some distant point, as if Harry’s words were foreign to him. Silence hung heavy between them until Harry broke it once more. 

“He isn’t here, baby.” he murmured softly, his heart heavy with the weight of disappointment. 

At Harry’s words, a tear escaped Louis’ eye, his resolve crumbling as he cast one last desperate look around the station. With a heavy sigh, he reluctantly turned away, knowing that their search had come to an end yet again…at least for now.

🚨🚨🚨

3 MONTHS LATER

 🚨🚨🚨

The pivotal moment occurred three months later when Harry returned from his second trip to LA within the same month.

As he entered the door, his arrival was met with the usual flurry of kisses, a familiar scene that initially distracted him from noticing anything amiss. 

“I missed you.” Louis says softly, his tone gentle, but he quickly clears his throat, a smile returning to his face. “How was your flight? And the lads? I thought they were coming back with you this time so we could all hang out properly for a change?”

Harry listens, but his attention is divided, involuntarily ignoring the question as he continues to move further inside.

It wasn’t until he had manoeuvred his suitcase into the lounge room that he abruptly stopped, a sense of unease creeping over him as he realised what had unsettled him.

His gaze darted to Louis, seeking answers, only to find his confusion brushed aside as Louis skillfully redirected the conversation elsewhere, avoiding the inevitable confrontation.

“Wanna go out for lunch today? I know you just got back, but there’s this new restaurant that just opened and—” Louis trails off, feeling a lump form in his throat as he notices Harry’s expression. The furrowed brow, the unbroken gaze – it’s clear that Harry isn’t just listening; he’s scrutinising every word. He hasn’t even blinked yet.  

“What?” Louis uttered, though he already knew the answer before the words even left his lips. The question felt pointless from the start. With a resigned shrug, he sidestepped around Harry and made his way towards the kitchen, hoping to evade further scrutiny.

Harry can’t fathom what is going on as he scans the room. His mind races, and his heart is beginning to ache but he remains silent, unsure of how to approach the subject. With a frustrated exhale, Harry released a puff of air, his shoulders slumping in resignation. Slowly, he turned towards the bedroom, the weight of his suitcase heavy in his hand as he trudged forward.

Louis watched him walk away. He needed a moment to gather himself, to process everything that had just been said. So he let Harry go, silently witnessing him  retreat into the stillness of the room. 

Harry’s gaze sweeps across the room, searching for any answers but truth be told he is shocked. With each step, a pang of unease grips him tighter, leaving yet another sting in his eyes. 

He had only been gone for two weeks. Harry recalls how Louis seemed quieter during this trip, with fewer messages and phone calls exchanged. But whenever they spoke on FaceTime, Louis appeared content, masking any underlying concerns with a facade of happiness.

Upon reaching their bedroom Harry finds himself just standing there at the foot of the bed, a perplexed expression clouding his features. He runs a hand through his hair and exits the room opting to go to the bathroom down the hall instead of the ensuite as he tries to process what he’s seen, the need for confirmation driving him forward.

Tears well up in Harry’s eyes, blurring his vision as he descends the stairs with heavy steps. The weight of uncertainty presses down on him, mingling with a tangle of emotions. As he reaches the bottom of the staircase, he finds Louis in the kitchen, quietly assembling sandwiches. Normally the sight of Louis, immersed in such a task would offer a fleeting sense of butterflies but not today, it left nothing but turmoil in Harry’s heart. Louis turns to him with a smile. 

“Have you already eaten? Are you hungry?” Louis asks, his voice gentle. “I made you a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, your favourite.” he adds, extending his hand towards Harry in a gesture of offering. 

But Harry remains motionless, his gaze fixed on Louis, searching for answers amidst the bewildering changes that seem to have taken place during his short absence.

“Louis…” Harry’s voice was soft, barely a whisper, as he cautiously approached him from behind, his heart heavy with apprehension. Though he longed to reach out and touch him, Harry hesitated, unsure if now was the right time.

“Don’t.” Louis responds, a hint of defensiveness creeping into his tone, one that Harry has come to recognize all too well when he is not coping. 

Louis turns away, facing the countertop, his body tense. Though he remains still, Harry notices the subtle droop of his shoulders.

“Where is it all?” Harry pressed.  

Harry literally hears the deep sigh escape Louis as he spins around, a forced smile masking the tension in his expression.

“Where is what?” Louis responds casually, though Harry senses the underlying discomfort.

Feeling a knot form in his stomach, Harry lets his jaw fall open slightly, averting his eyes and cupping a hand across his mouth in disbelief. Was Louis really going to make him say it?

“The scattered toys from the living room, the bath toys, the photos hanging on the walls and beside your bed, the beautiful drawings on the fridge.” Harry finally blurts it all out as Louis’ face remains unchanged. “Where is all of Saxon’s stuff, Lou?”

As Harry looks around, his heart sinks at the absence of Saxon’s presence in their home. The once vibrant space has been meticulously scrubbed clean, devoid of any trace of their son. The multiple photo frames that once showcased cherished memories are conspicuously absent, leaving empty spaces on the walls. The toys that once littered the floor, remnants of Saxon’s playful spirit, have vanished without a trace. Even the fridge, once adorned with Saxon’s adorable drawings, now stands bare and lifeless.

In that moment, Harry realises with a heavy heart that there is nothing left in this house that could connect it to their beloved son. It’s as if Saxon’s existence has been completely erased, leaving behind a void that feels suffocating and surreal. To any outsider, it would be impossible to discern that a child had ever lived there, let alone the joy and laughter that he had brought into the home.

“I’ve packed away Saxon’s things. End of discussion.”

Louis’ sharp response catches him off guard. The weight of the day’s emotions coupled with his exhaustion from his flight leaves him momentarily speechless. He blinks, trying to process Louis’ words, before finally managing to speak.

“What… What do you mean you’ve packed away Saxon’s things? But you said…you packed it ALL away, there’s no sign of him here anywhere Louis, it’s like, it’s like he doesn’t even exist.” 

Harry’s voice is tinged with surprise and confusion, his exhaustion making the words come out in an angered whisper.

Louis meets Harry’s gaze, his own eyes reflecting sadness. 

“Harry, it’s done. I couldn’t… I couldn’t bear to see his things scattered around anymore, alright?” Louis’ words carry a hint of annoyance, though he’s not intentionally being harsh. “He did exist, and now he kinda doesn’t, so…look, I just… I couldn’t keep looking at it, okay? It hurt too much. So, please, just leave it.”

Harry takes a step forward but stills.  

“I didn’t realise. “ Harry murmurs, his voice barely audible in the silence of the room.

Louis lets out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping as he looks away. “I know.” he says softly. “I’m sorry. I just… I needed to do something, you know, and you weren’t here and I just needed it out of my sight. “

Harry nods. He can’t help wondering where all the stuff has gone but he dares not to ask, not just yet anyway. He knows that Louis is hurting just as much as he is, maybe even more. “I get it, I do.” he says, his voice filled with empathy. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to… to push. I was just-”

Louis glanced back at Harry, a faint smile softening his features. “It’s fine, really.” he reassures. 

Harry shifted his gaze to the untouched sandwich.

“So, no trip to the new restaurant then?” he quipped, attempting to inject a bit of levity into the tense moment.

The comment served its purpose, eliciting a smirk from Louis as the tension between them momentarily lifted.

“Maybe we can save it for dinner instead. Right now, I think I just found something else I’d like to snack on.” Louis replied, his tone lightening as he slowly walked towards him, leaning up to press a kiss tenderly on his lips. 

“I really missed you this time.”

As Louis took his hand suggestively, leading him upstairs, Harry couldn’t shake the feeling that Louis was struggling. A profound shift had occurred in his absence, and now, all Harry could think about, was how in the hell he was going to mend what had been broken.

🚨

After spending a lazy afternoon wrapped up in each other’s arms in bed, Harry and Louis kept their word and ventured out for dinner.

The new trendy restaurant they had chosen for their evening out buzzed with a subdued energy. Soft, ambient lighting bathed the space in a warm glow, casting gentle shadows on the exposed brick walls adorned with minimalist artwork. The atmosphere was busy yet quiet, filled with the low murmur of conversations and the clinking of glasses.

Seated at a cosy corner table, Harry and Louis savoured their meal, indulging in dishes bursting with flavour and artfully presented on sleek, modern plates. The aroma of freshly prepared cuisine wafted through the air, mingling with the gentle strains of jazz music playing in the background.

As they enjoyed their meal, Harry couldn’t help but notice Louis’ surprising indulgence in the rich red wine. It had been a long time since he had seen Louis drink, let alone reach for a fourth glass. Louis seemed relaxed, his usual tension melting away with each sip, replaced by a soft smile and a glint of contentment in his eyes.

Harry watched him with a mixture of curiosity and concern, his mind swirling with questions left unspoken. He had felt that Louis had been struggling, but seeing him unwind in this way felt both reassuring and unsettling.

Taking a sip of his own wine, Harry cleared his throat, breaking the comfortable silence between them. “You seem to be enjoying the wine tonight baby.” he remarked, trying to keep his tone light despite his worry.

Louis glanced up, meeting Harry’s gaze with a hint of surprise before offering a sheepish smile. “Yeah, I guess I am.” he admitted, swirling the deep crimson liquid in his glass. “It just feels… nice, you know?”

Harry nodded, taking another sip of his wine as he engaged Louis in conversation, determined to keep him distracted. He had made a mental note to watch Louis’ intake, but as Louis regaled him with tales from his days at work, Harry found himself captivated by his partner’s infectious laughter and the genuine joy that lit up his face.

In that moment, all thoughts of moderation slipped from Harry’s mind as he became lost in the warmth of Louis’ presence, his own worries momentarily forgotten in the glow of their shared laughter and connection, especially after just spending some time apart. 

As they stumbled through the front door of their home later that night, laughter bubbling up from deep within, Louis, now quite tipsy yet still full of playful energy, wasted no time in pressing playful kisses to Harry’s neck. Their belongings lay forgotten by the door as Louis’ flirtatious antics took centre stage, igniting a spark of desire between them that refused to be dampened by the late hour or the effects of alcohol.

As Louis continued to tease Harry with groping hands and a mischievous glint in his eyes, Harry couldn’t resist the magnetic pull drawing them towards the bedroom. With a shared grin and a tangled mess of hands, they stumbled up the stairs, their laughter echoing through the quiet house.

Behind closed doors, their passion ignited like a flame, fueled by the intoxicating combination of desire and affection. In the soft glow of the bedside lamp, it wasn’t long before Harry who was a little tipsy himself was ripping open a condom. 

But their intimate moment was abruptly interrupted when Louis leaned forward, knocking it fair square out of his hand with an unexpected forcefulness.

“Just… pull out.” Louis murmured, his voice tinged with urgency and something else, something unfamiliar.

Harry froze, taken aback by the sudden change in demeanour. This request was new, and it came with nothing but confusion. 

Hearing those words felt like a surreal twist. Ever since sex had become regular, Louis had always been vigilant about protection, adamant that Harry wore a condom every time they made love. It was a non-negotiable rule, ingrained in their bedroom routine like clockwork. So, Harry couldn’t help but feel perplexed by Louis’ sudden deviation from their established norm.

“What?” Harry inquired, seeking clarification on what he believed he had just heard.

Louis remained silent, his actions speaking louder than words as he reached down to stroke himself, momentarily distracting Harry from the perplexing comment.

Unable to resist Louis’ gaze who had now looked back at him over his shoulder, had Harry, with a needy urge, flipping Louis around onto his back and leaning forward to press his lips against Louis’, the kiss sloppy and rushed but brimming with intensity. It was impossible to hold back when Louis looked at him like that, with those eyes that held the power to make him surrender to anything.

From then on, each following kiss was a fervent plea for closeness, for connection, as they lost themselves in the intoxicating haze of desire.

Their kisses grew deeper, more urgent, as they surrendered to the raw intensity of their drunken needs. Harry’s fingers trailed lightly down Louis’ torso, eliciting a shiver of pleasure from his lover. 

Their breath mingled in the warm air between them, their bodies entwined in a passionate embrace, losing themselves in the ecstasy of their love.

With each touch, each caress, they explored each other’s bodies with a sense of reverence. Harry’s hands roamed over Louis’ skin, memorising every curve and contour, while Louis’ lips sought out every sensitive spot on Harry’s neck and chest, igniting sparks of pleasure with each gentle kiss.

Louis’ responses were equally desperate, his own need mirroring Harry’s as they moved in a tangled mess of limbs and sweat. His hands roamed Harry’s body seeking out every sensitive spot, every hidden crevice, as he too surrendered to the overwhelming tide of passion.

Before long, Harry had Louis on all fours, their bodies aligning perfectly as he pushed inside, their movements fueled by a primal urgency. They both knew they wouldn’t last long, the intensity of their desire propelling them towards the brink of ecstasy with reckless abandon.

And as they reached the pinnacle of their desire, Louis’ cry of pleasure mingled with the soft rustle of sheets and the rhythmic sound of their bodies moving as one. In that moment, as they surrendered to the undeniable force of their passion, Harry’s touch grew more desperate, his fingers tracing along the curve of Louis’ lower back, his fingers moving to dig into his heated skin, craving more, always more as he held Louis’ hips tightly. 

Harry’s breath came in ragged gasps as he pressed himself deeper into Louis, his heart pounding in his chest, his orgasm on the brink with every thrust.

And then it happened. 

As Harry neared the edge of climax, his moans grew louder, his grip on Louis’ hips tightening with anticipation. The pleasure was exquisite, consuming him entirely, until he almost forgot what he had to do.

With a deep, urgent thrust, he pushed into Louis, seeking release. But just as he began to withdraw knowing he had to, Louis’ arm shot back, wrapping around Harry’s hip with surprising strength, anchoring him in place.

Caught off guard by Louis’ sudden hold, Harry’s breath hitched as a wave of desire surged through him. It was as if Louis was silently urging him to stay, to prolong the moment of ecstasy just a little while longer. And in that fleeting moment of connection, Harry felt a rush of intimacy that left him trembling.

“No, Harry, don’t move.” Louis pleaded, his voice laced with desperation as he clung to Harry’s hips, his moans echoing in the room. But Harry sensed the conflict in Louis’ tone, knowing that this wasn’t what he truly wanted.

With a heavy sigh, Harry withdrew, his release splattering over the dip of Louis’ back, the sensation sending shivers down his spine. In the same moment, Louis’ hand wrapped around himself, releasing onto the sheets in a shared climax that left them both breathless and spent.

Normally, Harry would have rolled over, eager to pull Louis into a comforting embrace, but before he could even move, Louis was already on his feet, storming into the ensuite and slamming the door shut behind him. 

Left alone in the aftermath of their passionate encounter Harry’s heart sank. As he laid there, the room filled with the lingering echoes of their lovemaking. He felt the absence of Louis like a gaping void beside him. Unable to shake the gnawing sense of something seriously wrong, Harry waited anxiously for Louis to emerge, hoping to bridge whatever it was that had just seemingly divided them.

Harry followed Louis’ every move as he emerged from the bathroom roughly ten minutes later. But instead of meeting Harry’s eyes, Louis avoided his gaze, his movements brisk and distant as he climbed into bed.

As Louis pulled back the blankets and flicked off the lamp, the room plunged into darkness, leaving Harry alone with the weight of their unspoken tension. He feels cut off, but at the same time he desperately wishes for the closeness they had shared just moments ago.

But as Louis rolled over, his back turned to Harry, the distance between them felt insurmountable, the ache of loneliness settling heavy in his chest. 

Harry hesitated, his hand poised to offer comfort on Louis’ shoulder, but at the last moment, he drew it back. Uncertainty gnawed at him, urging caution in the face of Louis’ now distant behaviour.

“Lou, what’s the matter?” Harry’s voice was gentle but concerned as he reached out tentatively, unable to now hold back. “Did I do something… wrong?” 

Harry waited anxiously for Louis’ response, his heart pounding as he was met with Louis’ short response. 

“I am fine. You are fine. We are both fine. Goodnight.” 

Harry’s mind was in overdrive but he knew pressing the issue now would only escalate the tension. With another heavy sigh, he resigned himself to addressing the matter in the morning, when they could both approach it with clearer heads.

“Yeah” Harry whispered softly to himself. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.” 

As he shifted to find a more comfortable position, Harry’s mind raced with a tumult of emotions, the exhaustion from his flight now a distant memory. The weight of the unresolved tension between him and Louis hung heavy in the air, leaving Harry’s thoughts in disarray.

With each passing moment, sleep eluded him, the silence of the night amplifying the memory of their earlier encounter. Despite his body’s fatigue, Harry knew that his mind would be restless, and with a heavy heart, Harry allowed himself a sleepless night, knowing that the dawn would bring with it the opportunity to confront the issue that now lies between them. But for now, in the quiet darkness of their bedroom, Harry will lay there, awake with his own thoughts until the sun rises.

🚨

As the sun began to cast its gentle glow through the curtains, Harry quietly slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Louis’ slumber. With a sense of determination, he headed to the kitchen, the previous night’s tension still playing in his mind.

Knowing it was Louis’ scheduled day off and anticipating the inevitable hangover, Harry set to work preparing breakfast. He whipped up a hearty meal, accompanied by a steaming cup of coffee and a side of Advil, all neatly arranged on the counter, ready for when Louis would inevitably emerge.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, Harry nibbled on a slice of toast, the quiet morning offering a brief respite from the turmoil of the night before. He sipped his coffee slowly, lost in his thoughts, until the sound of footsteps broke the silence, signalling Louis’ arrival.

Turning to greet him with a small smile, Harry’s heart skipped a beat as Louis stopped at the entrance, their eyes meeting in a silent exchange and hopefully the promise of a fresh start.

“Your nose never fails at smelling a full English breakfast, does it?” Harry quipped, trying to lighten the atmosphere as Louis stumbled further into the kitchen, looking like death warmed up.

“S’pose not.” Louis muttered, his voice hoarse from the night before.

Harry had spent the early hours of the morning contemplating their situation, reminding himself to keep a cool stance until the right moment arose for the much-needed conversation. He masked his own turmoil behind a facade of calmness, determined to approach the situation with nothing but patience and understanding.

“So….” 

Louis had just finished his breakfast, his plate clinking softly against the sink as he set it down. With a sudden movement, he spun around, his eyes meeting Harry’s in a moment of unexpected connection.

“Look. I know exactly what you are gonna say and here are my answers. Yes I am okay. No I am not upset with you, I am angry at myself. The answer to the why you just internally asked is because I don’t like how I behaved, and for the reason why. And yes, you are a smart man, you know why.” 

Harry hasn’t had time to blink let alone say anything. 

“Is it because you didn’t want me to-” 

Louis momentarily directed his gaze towards the ceiling, a flicker of pain crossing his features, a fleeting expression of discomfort crossing his face as he braced himself to express what needed to be said, despite the unease it caused him.

“Pull out? Correct. I didn’t want you to and yes I fucking hate myself. Because no Harry, you know I don’t want another baby and for a split second I…” 

Louis drew in a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he directed his gaze downward, his eyes fixated on the floor.

“I feel so empty with no baby here in the house. It’s all i’ve known for the last couple of years and for just a split second last night I wanted another baby and how fucked up is that Harry. For me, for even just a fucking second to try and replace him.”

Harry can see the tears in his eyes, the same tears Harry is sure he can somehow miraculously feel inside his own heart. 

“Lou, I didn’t….”

“Don’t worry Harry. What happened last night won’t happen again I can promise you. It was a moment of weakness on my behalf. I don’t want children, like EVER. I’m sure of that now.” 

Harry fixated on the word ‘ever,’ noticing the slight emphasis Louis placed on it, a hint of enthusiasm colouring the otherwise somber tone of their conversation.

Harry steeled himself, the question trembling on his lips as he fought against the fear gripping his heart.

“Like ever, ever?” he finally managed to ask, his voice shaky yet determined.

Louis’ reply came softly but with a firmness that shook Harry’s entire being, confirming his worst fears with a single word.

“Ever.” 

They locked eyes for a moment before Louis sidestepped Harry, effectively disrupting their plans for the day.

“I’m going into work.” Louis announced, his tone resolute as he moved towards the stairs.

Harry turned to face him, a flicker of confusion in his eyes as he addressed Louis’ retreating figure. “But it’s your day off.”

Louis paused, his hand on the handrail, before turning back to Harry with a determined expression. “And I’m going to work.” he stated firmly, leaving no room for argument as he exited the room.

And that was that.

Louis wasted no time, changing clothes in a matter of minutes with no shower and heading off to work despite his obvious hangover. Meanwhile, Harry stood in the kitchen, feeling utterly lost and unsure of what the fuck to do next.

🚨

As expected, their relationship entered a rough patch for the next few weeks. Conversations were sparse, lacking the warmth and laughter that once filled their home. Even during their YouTube videos, where they tried to maintain their cheerful personas, there was an undeniable tension. Some viewers picked up on it, commenting on Louis’ subdued character and hinting at his apparent resignation, as if he was giving up on his little boy. 

And perhaps they were right. Maybe Louis was giving up, but maybe Harry couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge it. Couldn’t bear to accept the possibility. 

Harry couldn’t allow Louis to doubt himself, so he discreetly deleted those comments before Louis had a chance to even see them. He was determined to shield Louis from any additional stress, even if it meant sacrificing his own peace of mind in the process.

But despite the strain on their relationship, Harry refused to entertain the idea of leaving for LA or giving up on him. Every day, he made an effort to demonstrate his love and commitment in small ways, whether it was a reassuring touch or a heartfelt gesture.

The thought of never having children weighed heavily on Harry’s heart. While Saxon was technically his child, Harry had never experienced the joys of parenthood firsthand. The desire to create and raise a family had always been a dream of his, and the absence of that possibility left a painful void in Harry’s heart.

After a brief bout of what Harry thought to be depression, Louis had found himself sinking and returning into that dark place, his usually vibrant demeanour was overshadowed by a heavy cloud of sadness. Harry watched with growing concern as Louis withdrew into himself, his once bright eyes now dull with sorrow once more.

But then, to Harry’s surprise, soon after, Louis began to pull himself out of it. He threw himself into his work with a renewed fervour, spending long hours at the office and keeping himself busy at home. At first, Harry was relieved to see Louis smiling again, his laughter filling their home once more.

But as the days turned into weeks, Harry couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. Despite Louis’ cheerful facade, Harry could sense the underlying tension beneath the surface. Louis’ smiles seemed forced, his laughter hollow.

Harry knew that Louis was putting on a brave front, pretending to be happy for Harry’s sake. But deep down, Harry could see the cracks in Louis’ show, the lingering sadness that refused to be banished.

And so, as Louis continued to plaster on his fake smiles and bury himself in work, Harry watched with a heavy heart, knowing that the happiness Louis projected was nothing more than a fragile illusion.

One brisk morning, as Louis rushed out of the house in record speed due to being late for work, Harry waited until he saw Louis pull out of the driveway before he reached for his phone. He could see it all so clearly now.

Louis had given up on Saxon.    

With a determined expression, he dialled his lawyer, Peter, in LA, his fingers tapping anxiously against the screen as he left a voicemail.

“Hello Peter. It’s me, Harry. Remember what we spoke about months ago when I arranged that meeting. I think it’s time we set all that into motion. Give me a call when you can.” 

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Thoughts on chapter?

Also, the next chapter will be posted in only a couple of days so keep your eyes open for that one. I only have to do three more scenes and then editing and its ready. There are several time jumps coming. I need to press forward in order to move the storyline along.

🫶😊🫡

Chapter 15 - Moving on

A/N

I hope you do not find this chapter too boring. I had to include some essential “facts and information” in this section to provide context for a later part of the story. I apologize for any uninteresting content. However, I am excited to see your reaction to a certain part of the chapter. Things are changing. Are we slowly getting closer to finding out what happened to Saxon?👀

Please note that the next chapter will include more time jumps.

🚨

’ Hold on, even if it means losing your sanity. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing the strength of someone who can endure the depths of hell, and still remain an angel.’

🚨

Harry’s pulse quickened as he hung up the phone. The conversation with Peter had been brief but reassuring, confirming that the necessary legal safeguards were planted firmly in place and now he had the ’ go ahead ’ to proceed. Harry understood the importance of proceeding with caution and not rushing things. Given their public profiles, he and now Louis, were susceptible to intense scrutiny and speculation from the relentless world of social media. Therefore, he had emphasised the necessity of non-disclosure agreements (NDAs) to safeguard their privacy and reputation as they navigated this new delicate and sensitive situation he had initiated.

With a surge of determination, Harry leaned back in his chair, his thoughts chaotic. On one hand, he was eager to proceed, hopeful that this new direction could finally bring them some answers. But on the other hand, he couldn’t shake the nagging fear that Louis might not be on board with the ideas at all.

The thought gnawed at him, a seed of doubt taking root in his mind as he weighed the potential risks and rewards of their next move. He knew that Louis had been struggling lately, and the last thing he wanted was to add to his burden. But at the same time, he couldn’t ignore the burning desire to find their son, to bring him home where he belonged.

Lost in his thoughts, Harry rubbed a hand across his face, knowing that whatever he decided, it would require careful consideration and a willingness to face whatever challenges lay ahead. But for now, all he could do was take a deep breath and steel himself for the conversation that lay ahead.

For weeks, Harry had been tirelessly chasing leads, his inbox flooded with messages from well-meaning fans who claimed to have information about Saxon’s whereabouts. Each message sparked a glimmer of hope, only to be extinguished by disappointment when the leads turned out to be dead ends.

Despite the overwhelming urge to share these potential breakthroughs with Louis, Harry kept them to himself, wary of getting their hopes up for nothing. He sifted through message after message, each one a mix of excitement and trepidation, as he followed up on every lead in the hopes of finding a clue that would lead them closer to their son.

But as the days went on, Harry’s patience wore thin. It soon became clear that most of the messages were simply from fans seeking his attention, their well-intentioned tips amounting to nothing more than false hope.

With a heavy heart, Harry closed his inbox, the weight of their situation pressing down on him like a leaden cloak. He couldn’t bear to tell Louis about the fruitless search, knowing it would only add to their collective despair. Instead, he resolved to soldier on, determined to find Saxon no matter how long it took.

Finally, after weeks of relentless pursuit, Harry’s prayers for a breakthrough had been answered. With the name and number he had been desperately seeking now in his possession, he felt a surge of excitement.

Taking a deep breath, Harry reached for his laptop, his fingers flying over the keys as he drafted an email to Peter, confirming the details of their arrangement and expressing his gratitude for the lawyer’s assistance. It was a small step, but it felt like the first glimmer of hope in what had felt like an endless maze of deadends.

As he hit send, Harry couldn’t shake the sense that lingered in the back of his mind that Louis may not be on board with this decision. But he pushed the feeling aside, focusing instead on the task at hand..getting up and going to tell him.

🚨

Louis hummed along to the beat of the music as he hung clothes outside in the warm morning sunshine, the portable speaker blasting what sounded like classic tunes that filled the air with a sense of joy. With a grin on his face, Louis sang along to some Catfish and the Bottleman song, his voice carrying across the yard as he swayed to the rhythm.

🎵 Larry called a load of smoke in. 🎵

Harry emerged from the house, his footsteps soft on the grass as he approached him. He didn’t turn off the music, but he lowered the volume just enough to catch his attention.

“Hey.” Harry greeted, his voice gentle but serious.

“Hey babe.” Louis replied, pausing in his task to give Harry his full attention. There was a hint of nerves in Harry’s tone, and it made Louis’ heart sink. He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of anxiety at the prospect of a serious conversation.

“Can we talk for a minute?” Harry asked, and Louis felt his stomach nearly fall through his….well… in more appropriate terms his bottom . He expressed his dislike for that particular line by emitting a frown, as it seemed to be a common trope in romantic comedies that often preceded the end of a relationship.

“Certainly.” Louis responded, managing a smile despite the discomfort that settled within. He knew that recent times had been tough and challenging, and he felt a sense of guilt for being unable to alleviate the heaviness that appeared to linger between them. However, as Harry guided him away from the music and towards the shaded porch, Louis couldn’t help but sense that this conversation held the potential to alter their dynamic significantly.

Harry settled into one of the deck chairs, his eyes lingering on Louis as he fidgeted nervously, picking at his fingernails. The atmosphere between them was noticeably tense, and Harry couldn’t help but observe the subtle signs of Louis’ anxiety through his body language.

As Harry’s gaze drifted away from Louis, he couldn’t help but be drawn to the sight of Saxon’s flowers, now in full bloom. A bittersweet pang tugged at his heart as he took in the vibrant colours and delicate petals. It was a small comfort, a reminder of the joy Saxon must have brought Louis each and every day. ‘Well, at least there’s something left of him .’ Harry thought to himself, his inner voice heavy with sadness. Despite the ache, the sight brought a flicker of warmth to his heart, a reminder that Saxon’s spirit lived on in the beauty of nature.

Harry took a deep breath, trying to find the correct words for the conversation ahead. He could sense Louis’ growing anxiety, the tension palpable in the air as he prepared to share the news.

“Louis, I had a meeting with my lawyer while I was in LA.” Harry began, his voice gentle but serious. He watched as Louis’ expression shifted, his nerves becoming more pronounced with each passing moment.

“Is something wrong?” Louis asked, his voice tinged with concern. “Did we post something bad in our videos? We didn’t breach anything, did we?”

Harry shook his head quickly, trying to reassure him. “No, no, nothing like that.” he said, his voice steady. “That’s all good.”

But instead of calming him, Harry’s words seemed to only heighten the anxiety. His brow furrowed in confusion as he searched Harry’s face for answers.

“What did you need a lawyer for?” Louis asked, his voice trembling slightly with apprehension.

Harry handed Louis the stack of papers he had been holding, his heart pounding in his chest as he waited for Louis’ reaction. As Louis began to read the first page, a look of confusion crossed his face.

Before Louis could question it, Harry spoke up, his words tumbling out in a rush as he tried to explain himself.

“I know I should have spoken to you first, and I’m sorry.” he began, the regret made clear with sincerity. “But I felt like you were giving up, and I’m not ready to do that just yet. You had almost three years with him, Lou, and I had none. I still have hope that one day I’ll get to meet him too. So yes, I went and organised this without consulting you, and I apologise for that. But please don’t hate me for having faith and wanting to keep looking.”

Harry’s confession came fast and heavy as he waited anxiously for Louis’ response. He knew he had overstepped by acting without consulting him, but he couldn’t bear the thought of giving up on their son without a fight.

“ You hired a private Investigator?“

Harry’s excitement started bubbling over as he began to explain.

“So, I’ve been thinking a lot about Saxon, and I just couldn’t imagine that there was nothing more we could do to find him.” he started with such enthusiasm. “That’s when I decided it was best to hire a private detective.”

Louis’ eyes widened in disbelief as Harry continued. “I know, I know, it sounds crazy.” Harry said quickly, preempting any objections. “But Peter said in regards to legal matters nothing could stop us, and he even sorted out an NDA for the PI so nothing can be released or leaked without our permission.”

As Harry spoke, his words tumbled out in a rush as he tried to convey his reasoning. But Louis just looked on, dumbfounded, his expression now more shocked than confused. He couldn’t quite wrap his head around what Harry was saying, unable to comprehend how they had gone from packing up Saxons stuff to hiring a private detective in the blink of an eye.

“Look H, I can see you are excited here, but what the hell is a PI gonna do with no leads?”

Harry took a deep breath, his eyes fixed on Louis as he began to explain further.

“So, the private investigator I want to hire used to be an FBI detective.” he started, his voice steady but tinged with excitement still. “He retired from the business for personal reasons many years ago, but Peter knew a guy who knew a guy, and he reached out to him. He is apparently really good. I was told he has solved cases before.”

Louis’ kept reading over the paper listening intently as Harry continued. “To my surprise, he apparently knew about Saxon’s case and was quick to offer his services.” Harry explained, but now he was at the part where he knew Louis would put up a fight. “He’s expensive, I won’t lie about that, but I want to do whatever it takes to find our son.”

As Harry spoke, his wishful determination shone through, his eyes alight with passion as he pleaded his case. He knew it was a lot to take in, but he couldn’t let this go, his gut feeling kept telling him that this was their best shot at finding their son.

“Right here, look Lou, it’s his number. All we have to do is call.”

The intensity of Harry’s face left Louis with no room for hesitation. Despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside him, he couldn’t ignore the earnestness in Harry’s eyes. After all that Harry had brought into his life, how could he possibly deny him this?

Sighing, Louis turned to Harry his own resolve firming as he spoke the only word that seemed to fit the moment. “Okay.”

In that simple utterance, Louis conveyed his trust in Harry, his willingness to stand by him no matter what. “Call him.”

As Louis attempted to stand, thinking the conversation had reached its conclusion and desperate for a moment to catch his breath, Harry’s hand shot out and clasped at his wrist. Louis froze, taken aback by the sudden touch, and turned to look at Harry, who had instinctively begun tracing circles on his hand with his thumb, a familiar gesture born out of habit.

Feeling the warmth of Harry’s thumb gliding across his skin sent a tingle coursing through Louis’ entire body, from the top of his head to the very tips of his toes.

It had been so long since they had shared any direct deliberate physical contact, and the simple sensation of Harry’s touch stirred something deep within him. Despite his initial impulse to pull away, Louis found himself leaning into the touch, his body instinctively seeking out the comfort and familiarity of Harry’s presence.

“Please, wait. There’s something else I want to talk about.” Harry said, surprising Louis who was now waiting for a response.

“There’s more?” Louis asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he stood up, prompting Harry to do the same.

“Yeah, we have an appointment this afternoon, um, somewhere else. Please, just trust me on this, and I’ll fill you in on the way.” Harry replied, his tone urgent yet reassuring.

🚨

What Louis had never expected was a train ride to London. Upon their arrival at 2pm, they promptly secured a taxi and shortly thereafter reached their intended location. Louis exchanged a weary glance with Harry who simply smiled, a glimmer of excitement dancing in his eyes.

During the trip over, Harry had mentioned they were heading to London for a meeting that wouldn’t take long, and that he hoped Louis would be happy with what he had planned. That was the extent of Harry’s explanation, leaving Louis to wonder what exactly was in store for them. He had anticipated more details from Harry, especially since the only other thing he had said was that it also pertained to Saxon, but nothing was forthcoming during the journey.

As Harry and Louis stepped into the building, Louis couldn’t tear his eyes away from the stunning artwork that plastered every wall. The space was filled with an exquisite collection of pieces, each one a masterpiece in its own right. The art blended the old with the modern seamlessly, creating an atmosphere that was both timeless and contemporary.

Louis was amazed by the beauty that surrounded him, but he couldn’t help but wonder why Harry had brought him here. As they stopped in the middle of a large hall decorated with oil paintings, Louis leaned in close to Harry’s ear.

“Why did you bring me to an art gallery?”

The curiosity was expected as they both took a second to survey the breathtaking surroundings.

“Follow me.”

Harry led Louis to the main desk, where he calmly announced his name and informed the receptionist that they were there for a scheduled meeting with a gentleman named Patrick. As they patiently waited, a few minutes passed before they noticed a man approaching them.

The man wore neat casual clothing that exuded an air of professionalism, complemented by a warm smile that reached his eyes.

“Mr. Styles?” the man inquired, extending his hand towards Harry, who visibly shifted his demeanour.

“Yes, hello. Please, call me Harry. This is my partner, Louis Tomlinson.” Harry replied, introducing Louis with a warm smile.

The man returned the gesture with a smile of his own before gesturing towards the hallway. “My name is Patrick, nice to meet you both. My office is this way.”

Taking a seat, Louis doesn’t have to wait long to find out what this whole ordeal was about because the man begins the conversation straight away.

“Since we already know why we are here, allow me to proceed directly to the matter at hand.” Patrick begins. However, he notices Louis’ frantic eye contact with Harry and senses a potential miscommunication or oversight.

“Excuse me, is there an issue?” Patrick inquires. Harry internally berates himself for not being more upfront with Louis about the meeting in advance.

“Um, I was very vague in telling Louis what this appointment was for. I’m very sorry.” Harry admits, feeling a pang of guilt.

Patrick flicks his gaze between the two of them, sensing the tension in the air, but he quickly makes a decision and offers them some options.

“Oh… Well, I can either excuse myself and give you a moment to discuss the nature of this appointment, or I’m happy to explain myself. The choice is yours. I don’t mind either way.” Patrick says, his tone accommodating and understanding.

Louis, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance at Harry for putting them in this position, quickly offers an answer without even giving Harry the satisfaction of a glance, let alone a discussion.

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you, but please feel free to continue.” Louis interjects, his tone noticeably cooler, signalling that he is pissed off. Harry can tell by that shift that he’s upset, and he can’t help but feel a pang of guilt for not communicating more clearly.

“Well in a nutshell, I am an Artist.”

Louis couldn’t help but let out a slight chuckle at Patrick’s statement, although it was not entirely intentional. If he were to provide an explanation, he would likely attribute it to his current state of nervousness.

“I mean, that is pretty obvious, isn’t it? Considering where we are and your office is filled with amazing portraits.”

There was no hint of sarcasm in Louis’ comment, he was simply stating the obvious. Thankfully, Patrick seemed to take it the way he intended. After a slight chuckle in return, Patrick looked around the room at his work on the walls before regaining eye contact with them, smiling warmly.

“On weekends, I am employed here. This serves as more of a hobby or secondary occupation for me. The paintings and drawings adorning the walls have been accumulated over many years. Currently, my role within this gallery primarily revolves around the business aspects of purchasing and sales.”

Louis found himself inexplicably intrigued by the man. Perhaps it was his charismatic persona, his ability to make Louis feel engaged and valued in the conversation. Or maybe it was the way he spoke with unwavering confidence and charm, effortlessly capturing Louis’ full attention.

“If it’s not too intrusive, may I ask about your weekday endeavours?”

Harry couldn’t help but notice Louis’ unusually attentive body language. Louis seemed genuinely interested, smiling consistently, his voice soft, and his head slightly tilted as he spoke. It almost felt like flirting, which left Harry feeling a bit uneasy.

“Well i’m glad you asked. That is the very explanation for this visit. I often make trips back to the US but primarily my office is set up here in London where I utilise zoom frequently.”

Patrick takes a moment to check on Harry’s face before continuing.

“I work for The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children which is a private, nonprofit organisation established in 1984 by the United States Congress. My workload is mainly driven from our Headquarters located in Alexandria, Virginia.”

“Oh.”

Louis’ jaw dropped slightly in shock as he glanced down at his lap, causing Harry to momentarily question his decision to have brought him there.

Clearing his throat, Louis glanced up once more, mustering a professional fake smile that Harry recognized all too well.

“Please, continue.” he urged, trying to maintain a semblance of politeness.

“Typically we are referred to as forensic artists or forensic sketch artists. We specialise in creating facial reconstructions or age-progressed images based on photographs of missing individuals.”

Harry kept his attention fixed on Patrick, but he felt Louis’ hand gently rest on his thigh, seeking comfort.

“Harry, did you bring the photograph like I requested?”

Harry reached into his pocket and retrieved a picture in order to pass over. He felt a wave of gratitude as he reflected on the picture of Saxon tucked safely in his wallet. It was a small token of their son’s presence that he had managed to preserve before Louis had taken down all the photos and packed them away. In that moment, he realized just how fortunate he was to have that tangible reminder of Saxon with him, a precious memento that brought a flicker of warmth to his heart whenever he glanced at it.

As soon as Louis laid eyes on it, a hint of sadness crossed his features, but Harry was relieved to see that there was no trace of anger in his expression.

“Thank you. In our line of work, we typically commence our process with one of these.” he remarked, gently waving the picture. “Much of the groundwork is completed using tablets or iMacs, and we also perform colour corrections and various other tasks in Photoshop. However, the primary focus remains on drawings and digital paintings, making it a predominantly hands-on process.”

As Patrick continued to explain more about the process, Louis seized the opportunity to ask questions.

“So, Harry brought me here to update a picture of Saxon?” Louis began, a hint of confusion evident in his tone. “I mean, he’s only been missing for, what, eight months? He couldn’t have changed that much.”

This prompted Harry to finally summon the courage to join in on the conversation.

“I did, yes, but Lou.” Harry began, reaching out to gently take Louis’ hand in his own. Louis couldn’t help but notice the apprehension in Harry’s expression.

“It hasn’t been eight months, baby. Next week will mark… well, it’s…” Harry paused, struggling to find the right words.

Louis’ face drained of colour as he quickly calculated the time in his head, tears beginning to pool in his eyes.

“Oh God, it has nearly been a year.” Louis murmured, his tone laced with a sense of shame. A wave of embarrassment swept over him, and he contemplated leaving the room until Harry intervened.

“Lou, it’s okay.” Harry reassured him, his voice steady and comforting. “We’ve been busy, and time flies. We’ll get through this together and-”

Louis is not really listening because his mind is flooding with guilt as he couldn’t help but reflect on the passage of time. He recalled the initial agony he endured after Saxon first vanished, the subsequent journey of finding solace in finding Harry, the scare of a potential pregnancy, and the period where he sent Harry back to LA. Then, there was the reconciliation upon Harry’s return, followed by Harry’s frequent trips to LA. Yes, time had indeed slipped by….. too quickly.

A year? A whole year that his baby had been gone, a whole year without seeing a glimpse of his precious smile or hearing his adorable little laugh. It felt too surreal. Suddenly this whole meeting felt a little too overwhelming.

“Would you two like a moment?” Patrick asked softly, and Harry simply nodded in response.

Once Patrick had left the room, Louis turned to Harry and let his head fall onto his chest. He allowed himself a brief moment of release, tears flowing freely as he sought comfort in Harry’s arms.

Louis leaned back slightly from Harry’s chest, wiping his eyes before turning to face him. “Are you sure we’re allowed to do all this? The private Investigator and now these drawings. I feel like it’s something the police should handle.” Louis asked, with uncertainty.

“Well, the police aren’t doing anything, are they, and that’s where Peter comes in.” Harry replied, his tone resolute. “I made sure this was something within our rights, and he drew up NDAs for everyone involved. That way, nothing we don’t want getting into the media will.”

Right on cue, Patrick knocked softly on the door before re-entering the room. As he noticed the smiles on both men’s faces, he returned to his desk and placed the folders down in front of them.

“Apologies for the emotional outburst, Patrick.” Louis began, his tone slightly sheepish. “Harry and I are ready to proceed. I’m eager to learn more about how all of this works, assuming my little breakdown hasn’t scared you off, of course.”

As Harry’s tension eased, he turned towards Patrick, signalling his readiness to move forward and set their plans in motion.

“No apologies necessary. I’ve been working with families for a long time, and unfortunately, encountering this kind of heartache weekly is normal in my line of work. Now, in these folders…”

Patrick opened the first folder, its aged and thick appearance catching Louis’ attention. With a slight slide, he positioned it closer to Louis for easier viewing. Patrick explained that this folder contained hand-drawn pictures, elaborating on the process.

“This folder showcases our capabilities with hand-drawn paintings. As you’ll notice, each page includes the original picture at the top, providing a reference point for our process. The larger images represent the collaborative efforts of myself and another artist.”

Louis reaches out and views with a soft “Wow.” leaving his lips. “You guys are really good at your job.”

As Louis flipped through the pages, Patrick observed, his gaze following each movement of the folder.

“Thank you. We endeavour to deliver our best service. Having the parents present is invaluable, as they are the foremost experts on their own children. They often notice details we might overlook, such as scars, attached earlobes, or discrepancies in clothing and hairstyle choices. These insights are crucial for accurately capturing the child’s characteristics, as it’s often the subtle details that make them recognizable to those who know them, you know. For instance, the way they smile-whether they show their teeth or not-or how they position their head. Do they tilt their head while speaking, that sort of thing.”

Subsequently, Patrick deftly presented the second folder, gracefully opening it to showcase its pertinent information.

Louis is really impressed by the detailed work in these pictures. As he looks through them, he feels sad when he thinks about all the stories behind each person-women, children, and men-each one filled with a back story of loss and pain. Upon observing Harry, Louis experiences a surge of resolve. He has made his decision. At this juncture, he unequivocally comprehends his desire to actively participate in this undertaking.

“What you do for people is something I cannot even begin to explain. The amount of time, and dedication is just truly mind blowing. I don’t know if I can ask this but has anyone ever been found and you compared the photos , to like, see how accurate you were?”

Patrick reaches for the folder, flipping through its contents until he reaches the end of the book. A smile graces his lips as he comes across a picture of a woman.

“This is Emma. She went missing at the age of 7, if my memory serves me correctly. She was found many years later at the age of 29. As you can see, there are two photos attached at the top of the page. One of them is her actual photo from the time she was found.”

Louis struggles to accept the possibility, especially as he compares the photo they produced with the one they took of her-it’s uncanny how identical they are. Beside him, he hears Harry’s soft murmur.

“So, missing people are sometimes found later on. We shouldn’t give up hope?”

Patrick smiles knowingly, having witnessed these emotions countless times and recognizing the stages people often go through in these situations.

“Certainly, the possibility always exists. However, I must be candid with you. Proceeding with the viewing of aged progression photos can evoke a mix of emotions, exhilaration and nostalgia. On one hand, there’s joy in seeing someone who played a significant role in your life. Yet, on the other hand, it’s wistful and overwhelming to confront and acknowledge the time that has been lost. For parents of missing children, a photo of their child as he or she may look today, can bring forth many emotions, sadness, anguish, frustration to even anger. But for many they also bring hope.”

Patrick closes the book and looks between the two. “Do you need a moment to discuss if this is what you truly wish to proceed with, or…”

“I want to proceed.” Harry and Louis chime in simultaneously, exchanging a glance and intertwining their fingers.

“Please, we would like to utilise this service.” Louis adds.

“ Perfect. Let’s get on with the paperwork then, shall we.“

Surprisingly, the process doesn’t take as long as Louis had anticipated, and he finds himself genuinely excited about the prospect. They’ve already expressed to Patrick their intention to continue this annually, and after Harry finalises the payment, Patrick halts them just before they’re about to leave.

“So, the next appointment is scheduled for three weeks from now, which should give us ample time. Just a gentle reminder, during the next session, you’ll have the opportunity to review the proposed photo, and it’s at that stage where your final approval comes into play. Additionally, once the photo is finalised, we typically distribute it to the FBI and various law enforcement agencies for their updated records. However, it’s entirely up to you whether you’re comfortable with this process. Your privacy is paramount, and if you prefer to keep the information confidential, we can certainly accommodate that.”

🚨

Louis glanced over at Harry as he settled in front of the camera. Despite the late hour after returning back to Doncaster, he was adamant to update a new Saxon video after the newfound determination from today’s trip. They had decided to keep their recent photo enhancement ordeal to themselves, but Louis felt it was essential to keep Saxon’s Online presence alive, even as tired as they were.

After finishing the video, Harry’s phone chimed with a message from Liam, asking for a callback whenever he had a free moment. Harry mentioned to Louis he’d take a quick shower before responding back to Liam and headed upstairs, leaving Louis to tidy up the recording equipment.

As Harry stepped out of the shower, his phone began to ring again, Liam. With a towel wrapped around his waist, Harry answered eagerly, listening intently as Liam delivered the news they had been hoping for. They had been deliberating lately on viable options to ensure Harry’s continued productivity despite his physical absence from Los Angeles. After thoughtful consideration, Liam presented a promising idea that could potentially address this challenge.

He had discovered a suitable location in London for filming a new series of houses for their show, which meant that Harry would not have to leave again for a while. This also implied that Liam might join Harry in Doncaster.

In a state of exhilaration, Harry swiftly descended the stairs, eager to share the positive news. However, upon entering the lounge room, he heard the television playing and observed Louis comfortably seated on the couch. A gentle, contented smile graced Louis’ face as he leisurely sipped his cup of tea. Harry couldn’t help but feel a surge of warmth at the sight of Louis exuding such tranquillity.

He promptly identifies the source of his emotions, yet refrains from verbal communication. Instead, he discreetly approaches Louis, ensuring his movements do not disturb the sensitive nature of the situation.

Approaching, Harry reaches out until his arms encircle him in a warm embrace as he falls down beside him. There’s a sense of familiarity in the way their bodies mould together. In a gentle and relaxed manner, Harry leans in, his cheek coming into contact with Louis’, creating a sense of closeness that serves as a reassuring affirmation of the profound emotional love they share.

“You put them back.” He whispers, his heart full of love.

Harry’s gaze sweeps across the wall, where the familiar baby photos of Saxon now hang, their vibrant colours and playful expressions back exactly where they belong.

“I did. You made me realise that when someone feels like giving up, one should remember why they had held on for so long. I miss him. I love him, Harry, and I am not ready to let him go. You made me realise that. Thank you.”

“When I first started my YouTube videos, I was struggling. Nothing seemed to go my way, and I was about ready to throw in the towel. But then Liam said something to me, and it stuck with me because it was so true. He said, ’The moment you’re ready to give up is usually the moment right before a miracle happens.”

Louis tenderly brushed his lips against Harry’s, butterflies like usual swarming in his tummy.

“Thanks for not only today baby, but for everything else too. The photos, the detective, and for putting up with all my crap lately. And in regards to Liam, I wish I had more time to bond with him. He sounds like a great guy, my kinda lad.”

“Well, funny you should say that.”

As they sit there while Harry explains Liam’s plan, embraced in each other’s arms, Harry senses that they have successfully navigated another challenging period and are now in a favourable position. The burden of their recent difficulties appear to have dissipated, replaced by a profound sense of optimism.

Or has it?

🚨

The next week brings tears, many many tears.

Today’s date: September 28th.

It has been precisely one year since Saxon’s disappearance. Louis found it emotionally challenging to confront this day, as it represented another distressing and painful milestone in their ongoing efforts to locate him.

Louis felt weak. He experienced a sense of debilitation, his body becoming rigid and his mind clouded. He lacked the desire to engage in activities or venture to different locations. In order to avoid the familiar paths that led to places he and Saxon had frequently visited together, he found himself unable to endure the memories that lingered around every corner.

So instead, he sought solitude in the quiet corners of his home, where traces of Saxon’s presence still remained.

Louis had spent the majority of the day in bed, and Harry respected his wishes to leave him alone. But first he kindly offered tea, food, and cuddles in an attempt to provide some form of comfort, but Louis politely declined everything. Therefore, Harry decided to give him some space.

Harry sat in the lounge alone and full of his own heartache, listening to Louis’ sorrowful cries for hours. As the sun began its descent towards the horizon, signaling the approach of dinner time, Harry wiped away his own tears after formulating an idea. He hoped that this idea might provide Louis with some form of comfort or relief……Something .

Harry had entered the room and sat down next to him. He gently stroked his arm with his hand before suggesting a trip to the park. Louis sat up at those words, and Harry was saddened to see his red, blotchy face and swollen eyes.

“Come here, baby.”

Harry gently held him in a soothing comforting manner before locating a warm sweater and coat, being aware that the outdoor temperature was particularly low this evening.

They visited the park not long later, hoping perhaps for a moment of peace, but they were taken aback by the sight that greeted them as they pulled into the parking lot.

Harry had decided on the park, being drawn by an inexplicable longing to be close to the place where their lives had been forever altered. As they approached the gathering, Louis felt a lump form in his throat at the sight of the candles flickering in the twilight, casting long shadows across the faces of the assembled crowd.

They had gathered together, people of all sorts, each holding a candle, forming a solemn huddle around a makeshift memorial adorned with flowers. It was a vigil, a tribute to Saxon’s memory. God, Louis was sad, fucking torn to peices, because this felt like a goodbye of some sort, like a freaking funeral.

Strangers approached with sympathetic smiles and gentle words, offering condolences that felt hollow against the ache in Louis’ chest. He nodded politely, his gratitude masked by the weight of his sorrow, his mind consumed by thoughts of Saxon and the unanswered questions that haunted his every waking moment.

While their gestures were kind and well-intentioned, each interaction served as a painful reminder of the void left by Saxon’s absence. Tears welled in Louis’ eyes non stop as he struggled to find the strength to acknowledge their sympathy.

The scene was beautiful in its sentiment, a testament to the love and concern of the community. But for Louis, it only amplified the depth of his heartbreak, a stark reminder of the desperate hope he clung to that one day, Saxon would be found.

Louis is given a candle, which he lights for himself. He stands there, his eyes closed as he silently sends a small message to his little boy.

‘I try to hide my tears when I say your name, but the pain in my heart is still the same. Although I smile and seem care-free, there is no-one who misses you more than me. Please come back to me baby. I love you.’

🚨

Three weeks later

🚨

“Who’s this ’ AlwaysHornyForHarry ’?”

Peering over the top of his phone where he’s scrolling through the comment section of their most recent video, he watches as Harry politely hands him a bowl of steaming chicken curry that they had just received from Uber Eats.

“Be careful, it’s still hot.” Harry warns, then adds “And don’t worry about those comments, Lou. I’ve learned to just ignore them.”

Louis furrows his brow as he scrolls back through the comments, curiosity piqued.

“Thank you. I suppose it wouldn’t usually bother me H, but there are several sexually explicit comments from that user on every video. It’s just disgusting.” Louis remarks, his expression troubled as he continues scrolling through the comments.

“I guess it hasn’t really bothered me.” Harry admits, shrugging slightly. “They’ve been there since I first started filming. I quickly learned to ignore and not engage. But if you want, you can just delete and block them, babe. I don’t mind.”

Harry shrugged nonchalantly. “I told you before, I don’t really read that stuff.”

Louis, feeling a bit frustrated, retorted.

“But you should read them, Harry. You should know what’s being said, like this shit. Rail me daddy, I can make you a daddy again, call me Harry. I just know you have a big dick. Fuck me Harry, I can make you -”

“ Okay. I get it.“ Harry says softly.

Exasperated, Louis continued.

“Seventy percent of the comments are all sexual, directed at you. Twenty percent are people asking about our relationship all the time, and only ten percent are about Saxon. It’s just… it’s fucking annoying sometimes.”

With a watchful eye on the time, Harry scooped up another spoonful of his lunch, the taste still lingering on his palate as he swallowed. He recognized the need to help Louis relax, especially with forty minutes left until they had to leave the hotel room for their appointment.

Today marked the long-awaited day for their first picture enhancement, and Louis was visibly on edge, as anticipated. Despite his claims of being fine, Harry could already sense the underlying anxiety creeping in.

“I understand your frustration with the shift in comments from my account to yours. However, it is important to acknowledge that the Saxon update page is experiencing consistent growth. Liam recently shared statistics indicating a positive raise in views, comments, and subscriptions. Rather than dwelling on a few negative comments, let us focus on the overall progress and growth of the page. Don’t let a few shitty comments get you down alright. Now. Close up the phone and hurry up and eat. We got somewhere to be.”

🚨

Arriving at the appointment with only five minutes to spare, Louis, who was visibly nervous and had to make three trips to the bathroom, entered Patrick’s office alongside Harry, both of them catching their breaths. As they entered the room, Louis couldn’t help but feel a sense of trepidation and awe at the significance of this appointment.

“Hello, please have a seat.” Patrick gestured with his hand politely. “I apologize for the inconvenience, but I must quickly retrieve my folder from the next room. I shall return shortly.”

As the door firmly closed, Louis could sense his heart palpitating within his chest. He diligently attempted to concentrate on something, anything that could divert his thoughts from the potential difficulty that may lay ahead for him.

On the wall, he noticed a plaque with a rainbow and a cursive inscription beneath it. It read:

‘I pity people who don’t know what it feels like to be this in love.’

He repeatedly read the inscription, and for reasons he could not comprehend, it brought him a sense of peace.

Upon Patrick’s return, the room descended into a profound stillness.

Decisions .

We can think about things in our minds a million times over and/or playout endless scenarios of what might be. Maybe it will go well and maybe it won’t. Louis is questioning whether they had made the right decision to go ahead and do this. Every millisecond that goes by he swallows hard, feeling his face warm up.

Will seeing Saxon hurt him again? Or help him?

He observes Patrick’s gentle smile as he places his hand on the folder.

“Are you ready to move forward?”

A surge of bittersweet nostalgia overwhelmed Louis as he laid eyes on his beautiful boy for the first time. He observed the perfect crafted portrait of Saxon, evoking a torrent of memories.

Expressing his gratitude to Patrick, Louis felt a lump form in his throat as he struggled to find the right words, wriggling in his seat. Patrick’s gentle demeanour and understanding presence provided some comfort, and Louis managed to compose himself enough to thank him for all his hard work.

“This is absolutely incredible. I’m at a loss for words. I… I’m sorry.”

Patrick simply smiled and started typing on his laptop. He took a deep breath and looked at the two of them carefully.

“Now, here is the digital picture. I must warn you that these photographs are the ones that appear more realistic and highly detailed. Are you ready?”

And what a great question.

Was Louis ready? Was Harry ready?

How does that old saying go again? ’ If you wait until you are ready, you may be waiting forever?’

It is highly unlikely that his son could have undergone such a significant transformation in just a year, Louis tries convincing himself.

This should be easy.

This should be ok.

This…..shouldn’t be happening at all. His inner thoughts are completely overruling him now.

Louis seizes this moment to glance at Harry, who leans over and bestows upon him a comforting and swift kiss on the lips. Although Harry refrains from verbal inquiry, Louis discerns the unspoken query conveyed through his gaze.

“I’m alright, darling. I’m ready, Harry, I am. Are you?”

With a subtle nod, they pivot towards Patrick, who swivels the computer screen for their inspection.

As Patrick revealed the computer-generated image of Saxon, Louis’ heart almost skipped a beat. He wanted to turn to Harry but he couldn’t, his eyes set on his son. His beautiful son who according to the specialist has changed quite a bit.

“He. Um.. he..he does appear a bit different.” Louis stammers as he starts to feel melancholic. He believed he had prepared himself for this moment, that he would be resilient and maintain composure, but, his young son is gazing back at him and although it looks like his son, Saxon looks sad in the picture and it breaks Louis’ heart, although he doesn’t say anything.

A child’s face can undergo noticeable changes within a year due to various factors such as growth, development, and environmental influences. Some common changes include: Dental developments, Growth, Weight gain or loss, Puberty, Emotional expressions and so on.

“Yes, he has changed a little.” Patrick began. “While a child’s facial features may not undergo dramatic transformations within a year, cumulative changes resulting from growth, development, and other factors can lead to noticeable differences in their appearance over time. What you see in front of you is what we can only believe to be semi accurate.”

Louis’ bottom lip trembled as he stared at the screen. He could hear Harry asking if he was alright but it was muffled and no matter how hard he tried to answer he just couldn’t, he just looked at his baby feeling himself on the brink of crying.

“Also, growth spurts are something we must take into consideration amongst other things. Children typically experience rapid physical growth during certain stages of development, which can result in changes in facial structure, such as a more elongated face or broader jaw lines etc.”

The room fell silent for a moment, yet it felt like it lasted forever.

“He isn’t smiling. He doesn’t look like his happy self, he…” Louis gave way to the flood of tears but remained focused on the screen.

“We must base our work on the provided photograph. As you can observe from the photo Harry gave us, Saxon’s expression is neutral, which is actually preferable for our artistic purposes as it allows for a more natural representation of various facial features.”

Sometimes, we tend to overlook our human nature and the acceptability of expressing emotions through tears.

Yes, it IS okay to cry. It is not always necessary to project strength. Occasionally, it is beneficial to release pent-up emotions, allowing oneself to cry and grieve. Let it out, cry it out, let it bleed. This cathartic process can ultimately aid in the healing and progression of an individual. Mend and move on.

And that’s what Louis does.

He exemplifies this concept as he gazes at the screen. Harry has come to understand that the most effective way to support someone in grief is to simply be present. This involves refraining from judgement and allowing the person to express their emotions, whether through tears, screams, or even silence.

After finally regaining his composure, he felt a renewed sense of embarrassment. He could not help but once again extend his apologies to Patrick for his emotional display.

With a reassuring smile, Patrick reassured Louis that it was okay, emphasising that he was accustomed to such reactions given the nature of his job. Despite his professionalism, Patrick’s compassion and understanding made Louis feel seen and understood in that vulnerable moment.

“Mr. Styles, I will send these prints to the email address you provided. I am truly delighted to have been of assistance to you both.” Patrick stated as he rose from his seat, the chair making a slight scraping sound against the wooden floor.

“We genuinely value and appreciate your efforts. Thank you very much.” Harry extends his hands with gratitude.

Lets just say, it’s a very quiet drive home as Louis leans his head against the window as Harry drove, the image of his son embedded in his head, where of course it will forever stay.

🚨🚨

1 YEAR LATER

🚨🚨

Louis had been awake since the crack of dawn, the fallout from last night’s spat with Harry keeping him awake. He can’t believe it had escalated over something so stupid, the discord centred around something as trivial as chocolate-coated almonds, yes almonds!

Exhausted from work, Louis had collapsed onto the couch beside Harry after a shower, looking forward to a relaxing movie night. However, when he had reached for his almond packet on the coffee table, he found it completely empty, Harry’s apologetic grimace triggered an unexpected explosion of anger from Louis.

Their disagreement escalated quickly, as Louis’ disposition became increasingly difficult to tolerate. After a brief but intense exchange of angry words, Louis abruptly retreated to their room, while Harry headed straight for his car.

Harry didn’t return home that night, leaving Louis feeling a desperate need to confide in someone the following morning. Louis deeply respects his mother for her ability to provide timely and appropriate advice. She reassures him as Louis holds the phone tightly to his ear.

“Right, now that you have stopped crying, I need you to listen to me alright. It is what it is, darling. Everything happens for a reason and at the right time. Take a deep breath. I am here if you wish to pop over for a visit or just call me whenever if you want to discuss the matter further, but honestly, you will be fine. You can do this, I assure you. But you need to talk to Harry about it.”

Louis knows his mother is right like always. He concedes to his mother’s insight, as he often does, with a knowing nod as he responds, even though she can’t see it.

“Alright, I’ll try to talk to Harry about it, but I’m honestly feeling scared but um, thanks for being supportive, Mum. I’ll give you a call soon. Love you.”

Louis hangs up the phone, his fingers tightening around the edge of the basin as he locks eyes with his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

At this moment he feels profoundly disheartened and disappointed within himself. It is acceptable to make errors and mistakes as we navigate through life, provided that we learn from them, correct?

Consequently, Louis is currently experiencing a state of confusion and bewilderment regarding the circumstances that have somehow led him to this unfortunate predicament…once again.

Erm…Well…Shit.

“ POSITIVE “

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Ummm..

😂😂😂😂

Chapter 16 - The Decision

A/N

⚠️ TW:

P regnancy talk

Abortion talk

Alcohol consumption.

Watch for time jumps and flashbacks from now on. 

11.6k words !

Also, I know this chapter may be a bit boring for some, but I needed you to understand Louis’ mindset going into the next chapter in order to understand why he will act the way he does.

This chapter has not been edited yet.  

‘In the absence of information, we always tend to jump to conclusions. One wrong assumption is enough to break trust, especially when you didn’t take the time to learn the facts, or the backstory.’ 

🚨

Louis sat alone in their bedroom, his thoughts swirling in a maelstrom of self-recrimination. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at the empty space beside him, the absence of Harry’s presence a stark reminder of how fucked up this all is.

His mind replayed the events of the past few weeks on an endless loop, each misstep and poor decision magnified to monstrous proportions. He felt a deep-seated sense of shame gnawing at his insides, a visceral reminder of his own failings.

Seeing the word pregnant pressed heavily on him, crushing him beneath its suffocating weight. He wanted to scream, to lash out at the unfairness of it all, but instead, he sat in silence, his thoughts a tangled mess of regret and sadness.

Louis was aware that he needed to accept the repercussions of their actions and honestly confess to Harry about the predicament they had created.

But the thought of uttering those words aloud filled him with a bone-deep dread, a fear of the disappointment and anger he knew he would find reflected in his own eyes.

As he sat alone, Louis couldn’t help but wonder how he was going to tell him. What does he say? How does he address it? When should he speak of it? Questions, too many bloody questions. It is crucial to acknowledge that the root cause of the current ‘ Problem ’ lies solely with one individual: himself…Or so he would like to think.

For the next two weeks, Louis carried on with his daily routine as if nothing had changed. With a forced sense of normalcy, he pretended that everything was fine, as if this secret didn’t bear down on him with every passing moment. He adopted a facade of calm, hiding behind a mask of indifference in the hopes that it would somehow make the truth just “disappear.” He busied himself with mundane tasks, avoiding any moments of introspection that might force him to confront the truth.

Despite the passing of time, the reality of his situation loomed large, casting a shadow over his every thought. Where once there had been morning sickness and food aversions with Saxon’s pregnancy, now, there was nothing but a hollow void.

Louis found himself lost in a fog of detachment, his mind a blank canvas devoid of any semblance of emotion. He kept questioning whether he was even capable of feeling anything anymore, whether he had become so numb to the world around him that even the prospect of impending fatherhood failed to elicit a bodily response.

Had he become too numb?

The thought clawed at him, a relentless whisper in the back of his mind. Was this what he had become? A shell of the person he once was, purposefully detached from the world and all its complexities?

As the days stretched into weeks, Louis grappled with his own sense of identity, struggling to reconcile the person he had become with the person he once was. And yet, despite his best efforts to bury the truth beneath layers of denial, he knew that it would only be a matter of time before it all came crashing down around him.

As the days continued to slip by, Louis found himself confronting a decision he had long avoided. The prospect of adding to their family stirred mixed feelings. While he had never envisioned himself as a father again, the idea of terminating made him feel ill. If he could get past the guilt, this decision would be a no brainer. But how? How does he keep this baby and not feel like he is just replacing one with another?

Each day, the decision oscillated between the comfort of familiarity and the uncertainty of change. Louis navigated through a maze of conflicting thoughts and emotions, pondering the potential ramifications of his decision. Would he regret his choice, whichever path he chose? It was a question that lingered in the front of his mind, a thought he kept drifting back to each and every time.

As he contemplated his options, Louis realised that he could no longer afford to postpone the decision. Time was running out, and he needed to make a decision and stick with it, regardless of the outcome. He may not be experiencing symptoms like he once had, but his belly holds a firm roundness, one he remembers too well. He knows it’s real now.

There is a baby in there.

He had to stop avoiding Harry like the plague. Tomorrow, maybe tomorrow. ‘ It’s always tomorrow.’

Upon arriving home from work, Louis was quick to think up an excuse to immediately leave, anything to keep busy and distracted from what they really needed…a conversation. 

“Hey, Harry.” he called out, to Harry who was upstairs, his tone casual as he glanced at his watch. “I’m going to swing by Oli’s for a bit. Catch up with you later. Bye.”

As has become customary, he does not await a reply.

Louis arrived at Oli’s place, using the excuse of visiting his friend to distract himself from the weight of his own thoughts. However, as he stepped inside, he was met with an unexpected sight – Oli was already on his way out, dressed for a date?

Caught off guard, Louis felt a pang of disappointment mingled with a sense of guilt. He hadn’t realised Oli had plans, let alone a date. The realisation hit him like a punch to the gut – he had neglected his friend over the months, inadvertently leaving Oli feeling forgotten about.

Seeing the distress written all over Louis’ face, Oli hesitated, his own excitement dampened by his friend’s obvious turmoil. “You had a date?” Louis asked, his voice laced with surprise and a tinge of sadness.

Oli managed a sad smile, shaking his head. “Yeah, Lucy. She’s lovely. But, you wouldn’t have known, Lou. We don’t see each other as much as we used to.” His words striking a chord with Louis.

“I’m sorry.” Louis mumbled, expressing his regret for being the worst kind of friend. “I will see you another time then?”

Oli frowned, sensing something wasn’t right. He knew his best friend like the back of his hand. So he quickly reached for his phone and sent a quick text.

“No, don’t even say it Louis. I was seven years old when I first promised to always be there for you, and I’m not stopping now. Plus, Lucy didn’t even want to go out tonight, I had to literally bribe her for hours before she agreed.

“ More the reason to go then, I will just -”

“ Louis.” Oli interrupted firmly, stepping aside to let Louis enter.

They settled onto the couch, Oli’s keen eyes noticing Louis’ troubled expression. “Everything okay, mate?” Oli inquired, his concern genuine.

Louis managed a weak smile, but before he could respond, Oli interjected with a grin. “You look like shit, buddy. Rough day?”

A chuckle escaped Louis as he shook his head. “Yeah, something like that.”

Oli passed him a beer, a small gesture of camaraderie, and Louis took a sip, the cool liquid momentarily distracting him. But as the taste hit his tongue, he suddenly remembered.

He paused, the beverage momentarily disregarded as the gravity of the situation became apparent. Oli, ever perceptive, caught the shift in Louis’ demeanour, his eyes widening in disbelief.

“No fucking way.” Oli blurted out, his voice a mixture of shock and disbelief. Louis could only nod in response, his own astonishment mirrored in Oli’s expression.

Oli, sensing Louis’ reluctance to address it, gently asked. “You wanna talk about it?” Louis shook his head, a silent admission that words wouldn’t do justice to the turmoil inside him. Instead, he rose from the couch and wandered over to grab a controller.

“Would rather play instead.” Louis muttered, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. With a knowing nod, Oli joined him, and soon they were engrossed in a marathon gaming session.

Hours slipped away as they battled virtual foes, the tension of the outside world melting away with each passing level. In the warmth of their shared laughter, Louis found a temporary reprieve from the weight of his troubles, but it couldn’t last forever.

As the day drew to a close, Louis felt a sense of gratitude. Despite the storm raging within him, Oli had managed to provide a brief respite, a fleeting moment of peace in an otherwise tumultuous time. And for that, Louis was very grateful.

While driving home, Louis carefully considers and rehearses what he intends to say to Harry. With a composed and focused mindset, he utilises the drive home to mentally prepare himself for the conversation.

When he arrives home, he drops his keys on the counter, the clang echoing through the quiet house. It’s already 10:48 pm, and Harry’s absence at this hour strikes him as odd, he is never asleep this early. He heads to the fridge, the hum of its motor the only sound in the kitchen, and pours himself a glass of water. As he takes a sip, he notices his hand trembling slightly.

‘ Don’t be silly you idiot, just tell him .’

He scolds himself for his nerves, and begins summoning up the courage he needs as he turns to head upstairs, but his gaze lands on something unexpected. There, on the kitchen table, lies a neatly folded piece of paper.

As he unfolds the paper and reads the words scrawled across it, he can’t explain what it is he feels when he reads the words, but he knows things just keep getting worse. It’s as if life has once again dealt him a cruel hand, a reminder that challenges and setbacks are constant companions on his journey. Life just always continues to betray him at any given chance.

“ Gone to stay with mum in Holmes chapel for a few days. I’m not sure what’s going on, Lou. Whatever it is, I got the feeling you needed a break, from me, from us. If I did something wrong, then I apologise. Always remember that I love you.”

H.

Yeah, that wasn’t what he needed at all.

The timing of this was unfortunate, as it is not an ideal circumstance for him to be alone right now. Of course, Harry was unaware of that.

As he moves through the house, he notices the telltale signs of Harry’s presence – the dishes neatly stacked in the kitchen, the coffee table tidied, and the cushions arranged just so elegantly. Each sight is a reminder of Harry’s thoughtfulness and care, and it only serves to deepen his sense of guilt and regret. When he reaches their bedroom door, the sight of the neatly made bed and spotless floor is like a punch to the stomach. He can’t help but feel like he’s tarnished the perfection that Harry works so hard to maintain.

He sighs, because Harry is damn perfect in every way, and now he feels he has ruined it all.

He stops and casts a sidelong glance down towards the dreaded bedroom as he braces himself for what lies beyond the closed door. With each step down the hallway, his heart pounds in his chest as he tries to remember what his little boys  room even looked like:

His little toddler bed, his toybox, his comfy little book reading corner, his lamp, his doona, his curtains, his floor rug, his pillow, the bedside table, the pictures on the wall …and shit, Louis wipes hastily across his eyes to clear away the tears. 

His hand trembles as it hovers over the doorknob, the memories of the room beyond threatening to overwhelm him, to end him. He hasn’t set foot in there since the day Saxon vanished, yet now, the urge to do so is nearly irresistible.

His fingers graze the cool metal of the handle, his mind racing with the possibilities of what he might find on the other side. Would Saxon’s presence still linger in the air, a ghost of the vibrant little boy he once was?

But as his hand drifts to rest on his stomach, the guilt arrives like a tidal wave. Unbearable, gut-wrenching guilt floods his body, threatening to drown him in its wake.

With a heavy heart, he withdraws his hand from the door, unable to bear the thought of confronting the painful memories that lie within. He knows he cannot do it, cannot face the emptiness of the room that once held so much life. And right there as he stood quietly, he realised that he cannot do any of this – cannot bear the weight of his grief, cannot escape the relentless ache of his loss, and he most certainly cannot go through with this pregnancy.

He can’t simply replace Saxon. It’s a truth he’s grappled with since the very beginning. Have you ever experienced a rapid succession of thoughts that create a sense of mental overload? Louis is intimately familiar with this phenomenon.

In a panicked frenzy, he rushes to the bathroom, his stomach knotting with a tumultuous mix of fear and regret. He barely reaches the toilet before he’s doubled over, heaving violently. But this isn’t the familiar taste of morning sickness, and it’s not just the acrid taste of bile that fills his mouth either – it’s the bitter taste of his own conscience, the realisation dawning on him, the impending mistake looming ominously if he decides to proceed with keeping the baby.

As he sits there, trembling and gasping for breath, Louis knows that he cannot bring himself to embrace this pregnancy, and he can’t see himself ever feeling any different.

The idea of attempting to fill the void left by Saxon’s absence with another child feels like a profound betrayal, a denial of the unique bond they once shared. Deep down, he knows that he must make the agonising decision to end it, even though the weight of that choice bears heavily upon his heart.

It’s the longest shower he’s ever taken. The hot water cascades over his skin, not enough to scald but just enough to create a slight burn. There’s something strangely comforting about the sensation, as if the water is washing away more than just the dirt and grime.

The steam fills the bathroom, casting a hazy veil over everything as Louis slides down the wall and sits on the shower floor, lost in his own mind. With each passing minute, water continues to flow, wasted as time slips by unnoticed.

The rhythmic sound of the water hitting the tiles is oddly soothing, a steady cadence that matches the relentless churn of his inner thoughts. In the cocoon of the shower, Louis allows himself to linger, afterall, there was no one left for him to talk to, the household in a state of haunting emptiness yet again.

As Louis finally manages to slide under the covers, exhaustion weighing heavily upon him, he instinctively reaches for his phone. He notices the absence of any missed calls or messages from Harry. A sigh escapes his lips as he wrestles with what to do now.

Does he call or leave it?

Part of him longs to reach out to Harry, to pour out his heart and explain everything.  But another part of him is weary and drained, worn out as the events of the day finally take their toll.

In the end, Louis decides against calling or messaging Harry that night. Instead, he lies in bed, unable to sleep as he stares up at the ceiling in the darkness, his mind spinning out.

As the hours tick by and the clock inches closer to dawn, Louis finds himself fighting with a decision he never thought he would have to make. By the time 4:33 am rolls around, he knows what he must do – a decision has been made, a decision that Harry will now never know about.

🚨

It’s been a gruelling week, each day stretching on like an eternity without Harry’s comforting presence. Louis finds himself longing for Harry’s warmth, craving the reassurance that only he can provide. The bed feels cold and empty, and it just brings more tears to well up in his eyes.

Despite his desperate needs, Louis remains firm in his stubbornness, refusing to reach out to him. He knows Harry has made an effort, his phone kept buzzing with missed calls earlier in the week. But in the midst of his appointment and own pain, Louis couldn’t bring himself to answer.

Now, as he lies alone, guilt gnaws at him like a persistent ache. He knows he’s pushed Harry away, maybe too much this time, but even as he berates himself for his actions, a part of him can’t help but hold onto his pertinacious resolve, acting as a defence mechanism.

The need to see Harry consumes him, a deep pain in his chest driving him to seek solace in his partner’s arms. He craves the warmth of Harry’s embrace, the reassurance of his touch, and the comfort of his presence. But more than anything, he needs to talk to him, to unburden himself of the guilt that weighs heavily on his conscience.

With his plan of action firm in his heart, Louis refrains from reaching out to Harry through calls or texts. Instead, he takes a morning shower, the hot water washing away the physical and emotional grime of the past week. It’s the cleanest he’s felt in days, a small victory in the face of overwhelming turmoil.

Determined to surprise Harry, Louis slips behind the wheel of his car and sets off towards Holmes Chapel. The drive is filled with nervous energy, each mile bringing him closer to the moment of reckoning.

As he pulls up in Anne’s driveway, Louis’ heart pounds in his chest, his palms sweating with nervous anticipation. With a deep breath, he steps out of the car and passes the black range rover which causes a shiver down his spine. He approaches the familiar front door, his mind racing with a million thoughts and fears. But amidst the uncertainty, one thing remains clear – he can no longer keep his silence, and he must confront the truth, whatever the outcome may be.

During his lunchtime stroll past the front window, Louis steals a glance inside and is met with a sight that stops him dead in his tracks. Harry sits at the dining table, bathed in sunlight streaming through the window, a glass of red wine in his hand. He’s smiling and laughing, engrossed in conversation with another man.

Louis’ breath catches in his throat as he takes in the scene before him. The man sitting beside Harry is undeniably handsome, with short dark brown hair that appears to be growing out from a recent buzz cut. His arms are adorned with tattoos, adding to his rugged charm. His facial features include sharp cheekbones, full lips, a closely-trimmed beard, and expressive eyes, brown Louis thinks but he can’t be too sure from where he is standing. In terms of physique, he seems to maintain a lean and toned build and Louis is fucking jealous.

His heart sank as he watched Harry through the window. His partner looked genuinely happy, his laughter infectious, his dimples gracing his cheeks as he smiled. His eyes sparkle with mirth in a way Louis had always thought was reserved just for him and it hurts, it really hurts.

For a moment, Louis is frozen in place. He can’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Harry and the mysterious stranger who looks so comfy, and all of a sudden he feels like he is imposing.

The sight was like a knife twisting in Louis’ chest, a painful reminder of what he thinks he may have lost. He felt a wave of nausea wash over him, bile rising in his throat as jealousy and hurt churned within.

Turning away abruptly, Louis stumbled towards the bushes and emptied his stomach, the bitter taste of regret mingling with the scent of vomit. It was a visceral reaction to the realisation that Harry could be happy without him, that he could share those intimate moments with someone else. And right there, Louis felt more alone than ever before.

Could it be that Harry was not showing the same level of concern for Louis’ absence as Louis was for Harry’s? Perhaps this was the sign he had been seeking, the confirmation he needed. He swiftly entered the car, exited the driveway, and refrained from looking back.

🚨

When Harry returned home three days later, expecting things to have settled, he was sorely mistaken. Louis hadn’t responded to any of his attempts at communication since he had left, leaving Harry feeling adrift in a sea of ‘ What the fuck’s ’. The only response he received was a solitary thumbs up emoji from Louis when he texted to say he was on his way home, today.

As he turned the key to enter, Harry inhaled deeply. Somehow he wasn’t expecting rainbows and butterflies . He did not anticipate an overwhelmingly positive reception, but he held onto the hope that the situation had stabilised sufficiently enough in order to allow for a constructive and positive conversation.

Instead, he was hit with a hurricane behind the door.

Louis was sitting in the lounge, absently flicking through the TV channels. Harry’s heart swelled at the sight of him. He wanted nothing more than to stride over and swoop Louis up into a tight hug, to apologise for his abrupt departure and to unravel whatever silent storm was brewing behind those captivating eyes. Despite Louis looking effortlessly good, with his leg draped over the armrest and clad in his oversized umbro jumper, there was an undeniable air of annoyance about him.

He looked pissed off.

Harry lingered in the doorway, silently pleading for any sign of acknowledgment, but it became painfully clear that Louis wasn’t ready to break the silence. And so, Harry, who had remained rooted in place, picked up his bags and walked up the stairs.

When he puts away his belongings, he stands in the middle of the room, his fingers pulling at his bottom lip, shaking his head. He is hopeful that when he returns downstairs and calmly inquires about the recent events that have transpired between them, he will finally receive some clarification, some much anticipated answers.

Upon re-entering the lounge, he pauses briefly, contemplating whether to sit beside him or maintain a distance by sitting on the other armchair. He decides to sink down into the seat next to him, and as he cautiously adjusts himself to lean in the opposite direction, he fails to notice Louis’ smirk. 

“ Oh, so you do remember where it is that you live huh.”

Without waiting for a response, Louis suddenly loses interest in the television, the desire to be away from Harry becomes more appealing, the urge to escape Harry’s presence growing stronger by the second. He rises from the couch and heads towards the kitchen door, but before he can make his escape, Harry stands up, throwing his hands in the air in confusion and feeling somewhat defeated.

“What do you mean, Lou? Baby talk to me, please.”

He watches Louis’ retreating figure, and it’s in moments like these that leave Harry feeling lost, unsure of how to navigate the unpredictable currents of Louis’ never ending roller coaster of emotions. He is always so unpredictable.

He has no choice but to follow him into the kitchen where Louis is now filling up the kettle, however Harry thinks he doesn’t really want one, he is just trying to appear busy.

“Ok DARLING.” Louis begins, his attempt at levity falling flat in the heavy atmosphere. “Would you like a cup of tea or would you prefer a glass of wine with your lunch ?”

Harry’s confusion is evident as he scrunches up his face. Lunch? What is Louis talking about? It’s night time.

“Lou….What?”

Louis forcefully shuts the cupboard door after attempting to retrieve a mug.

“Neither? Good choice. Nice chat Harry, I’m going to bed.”

He attempts to push past, and this infuriates Harry because he has been by Louis’ side for months, providing emotional and physical support to the best of his ability. Frankly, he does not believe he deserves this treatment, regardless of the reason for Louis’ attitude and behaviour.

As Louis attempts to leave the room, Harry’s desperation spikes, and he acts on impulse, grabbing Louis’ arm to halt his retreat. Instantly, a palpable tension brews between them as they stare intensely at each other, neither of them appreciating the extent of what this has come to.

Regret washes over Harry as he feels the resistance in Louis’ body, particularly the stiffness in his muscles. He regrets having to take this measure, and Louis’ entire demeanour shifts in an instant, his previously determined expression replaced by one of shock and apprehension. Frozen in place, Louis resembles a ghost, every inch of him trembling uncontrollably under Harry’s grasp. The weight of the moment hangs heavy between them, neither knowing how to proceed.

“Please let me go, now, let me go.” His words are barely audible, almost tearful, and Harry immediately withdraws his hand upon noticing. There, in his eyes, was nothing but sheer terror….pure fear. At that moment, Harry recalled Louis’ former partner and how he used to treat Louis, and he experienced a profound sense of regret.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Harry states, as he observes Louis cautiously distancing himself while soothing the area where Harry had held him.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, I assure you that I had no intention of causing any harm or discomfort. You know me Louis, and I would never intentionally inflict pain upon you. I wouldn’t-”

But Louis doesn’t wait to hear the rest, he interrupts him instead.

“You already have.” 

He turns on his heel and begins to ascend the stairs, his footsteps heavy and his tears silent. However, Harry is unaware that the sentence he had heard had no relevance to Harry actually grabbing him.

Louis had secluded himself in his room for several hours, and it’s getting late now. As Harry prepares to take a shower, he grabs a towel and approaches the guest bathroom door. However, before he can even turn the knob, he’s drawn to the sound of Louis’ sobs echoing from the bedroom.

The heart-wrenching sound pierces through Harry, filling him with guilt. He can’t bear the thought of Louis in such distress, especially knowing that he’s the cause of it. His mind races, trying to pinpoint the source of Louis’ anguish.

Perhaps it’s those online comments that have taken their toll, maybe he has been reading more of them, and it has had a negative impact on him. He makes a mental note to review the video comments in the morning. Or, it could just be that it’s the relentless ache of missing Saxon resurfacing once again. Whatever the reason, Harry knows one thing for certain – he can’t stand to see Louis in such pain.

With a heavy sigh, Harry decides to be the bigger man and goes to put an end to Louis’ suffering. He hates the thought of being the one responsible for his tears, and he’s determined to make things right, no matter what it takes.

Sensing a subtle discomfort, Harry proceeds to knock on the door, with the intention of potentially providing some form of consolation. In the absence of a response, and based on either intuition or a hunch, Harry interprets this as an implicit invitation to enter.

Louis lies on the bed, curled up in the fetal position, his form shrouded in shadows cast by the dim lamplight. Harry approaches cautiously, his heart heavy with remorse.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” he whispers softly, his voice barely audible in the stillness of the room.

Without hesitation, Harry lays down beside Louis, wrapping his arms around him in a comforting embrace. As he spoons Louis, Harry’s hand instinctively finds its way to Louis’ belly. But before he can offer any semblance of comfort, he notices the slight flinch that runs through Louis, as though his touch had seared his skin, akin to a physical burn.

God, Harry feels broken and deeply remorseful, yet he doesn’t really know what he even did. He reflects on his earlier outburst, recognizing that his anger may not have been justified, especially given he knows Louis’ past experiences with his ex. However, he senses there are deeper issues here at play that require more open and honest communication. As they lay entwined, Harry internally vows to try and mend the fractures in their relationship and soothe the wounds he’s inadvertently caused.

The awkward silence settled between them while Louis wrestled with his emotions. Louis swallowed, the air that got caught in his throat almost choking him. Finally, summoning every ounce of courage he possesses, he breaks the silence.

“I need to tell you something.” Louis murmurs. He prefers not to roll over and face him during their conversation. He cannot fathom the agony that will soon befall Harry. Nevertheless, he knows it is the right thing to do. Thus, he gradually turns to face him, immediately searching Harry’s eyes for some semblance of understanding.

For Louis, this moment is both terrifying and necessary. How does he articulate the turmoil that has plagued him all week, the deep-seated emotions that have left him feeling adrift and alone? How does he convey the complexity of his feelings, the tangled mess of resentment and longing that simmers beneath the surface of it all?

Louis braces himself for the inevitable. This conversation will be difficult, painful even, but he knows it’s a conversation they can no longer afford to avoid. With a heavy heart and trembling hands, Louis prepares to lay bare his soul, hoping and praying  that Harry will hear him, truly hear him, and understand but Harry starts talking first.

“What’s been bothering you lately? What has made you so angry and upset?”

Harry couldn’t help the way his voice seemed to tremble with each word as he broached the subject softly.

“When I left, I thought you needed some space. It tore me apart to walk out that door, Lou. But I genuinely believed it was what we both needed. And when you didn’t call or text, I… I let it be, hoping you were taking time to sort things out. I missed you, but now that I’m back, you seem so angry. Is it because I left with just a note? If it is, I’m truly sorry. I’ll never do it again.”

Louis continues to debate between addressing the pregnancy situation or Harry’s lunch with Mr. Perfectly Good Looking. Given the sensitivity of the matters at hand, he must decide which issue to prioritise and disclose accordingly. So, he opts for the one that hurts that little bit less.

“You claimed to miss me. Was that before or after you so quickly fell into the company of another man? One that didn’t have bright blue eyes, one that didn’t have light brown coloured hair, one that WASN’T ME!”

There is no denying that Harry is confused as he takes in the words. Louis just wants answers. He needs to know the what and the why’s .

“Jesus christ, did you enjoy the wine with your lunch a few days ago Harry? No, let me rephrase that for you. Did the handsome person beside you, you know, the man who looked too happy to be in your company, did he enjoy his meal?”

And yeah, that tone was dripping with sarcasm.

It was an unusual sensation to be lying in such close proximity, scrutinising each other with such intensity that it bordered on being overly critical.

“Wait. Are you talking about Zayn?”

A faint smirk plays at the corner of Harry’s lips, and Louis feels a surge of annoyance bubbling. Determined to distance himself, Louis begins to roll away hurriedly, but Harry’s arm wraps around his waist, ever so gently.

Caught off guard by Harry’s unexpected touch, Louis feels a jolt of electricity shoot through him as Harry’s hand lands on his bare skin, where his shirt had risen slightly. He realises just how much he’s missed this – the warmth of Harry’s touch, the reassuring presence of his hand.

Louis hesitates, torn between frustration and a begrudging acknowledgment of Harry’s persistence. Reluctantly, he turns back to face him, meeting his gaze with a mixture of defiance and resignation. In that moment, as their eyes lock, Louis knows he’s lost the battle – Harry’s puppy eyes winning once again, leaving Louis granting his win by staying.

As Harry watches him settle back into place, his gaze drifts over to Louis, noticing the way he has moved closer. Tears glisten in Louis’ eyes, his voice trembling with emotion, and for a fleeting moment, Harry fears Louis might succumb to actual tears.

“Who is Zayn?”

That is what it took for his voice to fully break with the unvarnished vulnerability he hadn’t experienced for an extended period of time.

Harry springs into action, sitting up slightly and gently cupping Louis’ face in his hands. His thumb brushes away a lone tear that trails down Louis’ cheek, a tender gesture of comfort.

“Hey, hey, sweetheart.” Harry murmurs softly, his voice laced with concern. “You don’t have anything to worry about with Zayn. Oi, look at me.”

Louis reluctantly opens his eyes, revealing the depths of his sadness, and Harry is struck by the profound sorrow reflected in them.

“The PI called me the other day.” Harry begins, his voice a tad strained. “We were supposed to meet up, but he emailed saying he was sick. He offered to send his assistant instead, someone he’s been training for years. It turns out it was his grandson, Zayn. I didn’t tell you because it was only a briefing. He said it was just filling out some paperwork. It was nothing to disturb you with.”

Louis just stares at him like he is waiting for him to explain further, so Harry does.

“My mum was there too.” Harry continues. “You know her well enough by now to know how she gets when she’s nervous. She insisted on opening a bottle for herself and for me to have with some nibbles. At first, Zayn declined, citing that he was working. But eventually, we got talking, and you’re not going to believe who Zayn turns out to be.”

Harry looks excited now as he begins to tell his story.

“Remember the last time Liam and Niall were here about two months ago? It was  the night we all went out to that bar and Liam disappeared for a while and when he came back he was bragging about hooking up with someone outside where he was having a smoke. Well … .Zayn asked me to show him a picture of Saxon, and as I flipped through my phone to the screenshots of the ones I have of him, I scrolled past a few pictures of that night out and Zayn recognised Liam. Isn’t that crazy.”

Harry was hoping that if Louis was concerned about the possibility of Harry flirting with Zayn, Louis would find humour in the situation and laugh it off. Nevertheless, Louis still seems profoundly troubled, which is slightly disconcerting given that he has allowed Louis to flirt on multiple occasions without reprimand. Therefore, even if he had been flirting, which he unequivocally was not, it appears to be a somewhat one-sided dynamic.

Harry studies Louis intently, that familiar furrow forming between his brows.

“Lou, what’s really going on here?” Harry’s voice is gentle, but laced with so much worry. “You’re scaring me. Truly, you have nothing to worry about, I promise.”

Louis squirms uncomfortably, propping himself up against the pillows before meeting Harry’s gaze head-on.

“I do actually.” Louis admits, apprehension lingering.

Just as Harry prepares to offer reassurance once more, Louis begins to fidget with the bottom hem of his shirt. It’s a telltale sign that something serious is weighing on his mind, and Harry’s heart sinks.

Louis is aware that he must inform Harry about the pregnancy test he took last week. He had initially intended to keep it all a secret, but now that Harry is here in front of him, he realises he cannot do so, because it feels improper.

“What is it?” Harry inquires, increasingly more scared this time, failing to observe the manner in which Louis’ hand descends to his abdomen only to be promptly retracted, his hand covering his mouth as tears overflow.

Guilt. It’s a funny thing. It is not something that is built into our DNA but it can harm our souls, affect our personalities and even wreck our mental health. Louis is currently experiencing them all as he intentionally refrains from engaging with Harry keeping his eyes peeled on a spot over on the wall. He carefully chooses his words, expressing sentiments he would rather not convey at all.

“At the beginning of last week I took a pregnancy test and it was..um…it was positive.”

Louis hesitates, his heart pounding in his chest as he’s afraid to turn and look at him. The silence in the room is deafening. So silent . No one is moving, no one is speaking, god, by the sounds of it, no one is even breathing. With a deep breath, Louis makes the foolish decision to turn and accept whatever is awaiting him.

Harry’s expression is unreadable, his lips neither smiling, nor is he even frowning. But Louis knows better than to rely on Harry’s words or features alone; it’s his eyes that reveal the truth. Despite Harry’s efforts to conceal any hint of joy, Louis can see it plain as day, shining brightly in his pupils.

And that hurts, he can feel it in every vein, every muscle, every nerve, every bloody cell.

“I made an appointment straight away and-”

Gently, Harry extends his hand and places it atop of Louis’, intending to offer support. However, Louis does not respond to the gesture.

“That’s great.” Harry says with genuine happiness. “Were you prescribed some vitamins and iron and stuff? Lou, I really wish you had told me earlier.”

And there it is.

His smile .

“Harry.” he says firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Due to the firmness in Louis’ voice, the one that sends a shiver down his spine, Harry understands that Louis has more to say, leaving him slightly on edge as he awaits the next words.

“Not… that type of appointment.”

Harry just stares, then blinks.

Stares and blinks.

The most profound form of sadness occurs when one is unable to shed tears and experiences a complete emotional detachment, one where you feel absolutely nothing. It is as if the world has abruptly come to an end. In such a state, one does not weep, hear, or even perceive their surroundings. You just stay right there,  remaining motionless, held in position while your heart temporarily dies.

And that is what Louis is experiencing right now in front of him. In the tense silence that follows, Louis observes Harry’s reaction. He watches as his expression shifts, his head dropping significantly as he begins to withdraw from the bed so slowly.

In the whole time that he has known Harry not once has he ever seen him look so shattered.

“You didn’t let-” Louis starts, but is cut off.

“No. Just… no.” Harry says softly, his voice tinged with disbelief before his emotions begin to overtake him. “So while I was away, giving you space and trying my hardest to find OUR child, you were just… what? Here, getting rid of another one?”

It’s a vicious and regrettable jab, fueled by anger and hurt, but as soon as the words escape his lips, Harry knows he’s crossed a line. He immediately lunges forward, reaching out to Louis in a desperate attempt to retract his hurtful words.

“Lou, I didn’t mean that.” Harry blurts out with nothing but utter remorse. “I—”

There are no words to explain how ridgid Louis becomes. How his body stiffens in place, how numb his body feels, how hard his heart explodes with unbearable pain at hearing that.

“Dont.” Louis warns as he hides back a whimper. 

Harry can’t believe what he has just said.

“ Lou, that was fucked up I shouldn’t have-”

“Get out.”

And just like that, Harry bolts out of the room. He needs space to breathe, to think, to process the gravity of what he’s just said. He searches desperately for somewhere to gather his thoughts, to come to terms with how badly he’s just messed up.

As Harry enters the backyard, he slumps down into the deckchair, his head tilted back as he gazes at the night sky. He finds it challenging to control the multitude of thoughts occupying his mind.

He has always respected the principle of ‘ my body, my choice ’, and that will never change. Unfortunately it hits a little closer to home and becomes more personal when it concerns his own partner. It shouldn’t be interpreted the wrong way. It is not a matter of Louis having the final say; what hurts Harry is that Louis did not even engage in a discussion about it first and that saddens him. Does Louis not love him enough to discuss such significant matters? Does he not respect him enough to value his input or consider his feelings? That is all he can currently think about, especially after everything they have already experienced together. Would it have been too much to at least include him in the decision-making process? After all, it was his baby too.

Harry was so hurt.

At the same time as he sits there  consumed by remorse, Harry curses himself for his outburst. He knows he didn’t mean what he said; it was merely a knee-jerk reaction born out of frustration. The thought of Louis being in distress and being a mess right now is killing him, and he longs to rush back inside, to apologise profusely and make things right… to fix this and be there for him. But he restrains himself. He understands that Louis needs space to process everything, and he needs time to come to terms with it himself. So, reluctantly, he stays put, wrestling with his own emotions while giving Louis the room he needs.

Meanwhile back upstairs, Louis stumbles into the bathroom, his hands trembling uncontrollably as he reaches for the faucet. He needs to calm down right now because the violent shaking is overtaking his entire body. The weight of Harry’s hurtful words hangs heavy on his mind, and he desperately needs a moment to process what just happened.

Turning on the shower, Louis steps beneath the cascading water, letting it wash over him in an attempt to soothe his frayed nerves. The warmth of the water envelopes him, but he’s too overwhelmed to feel its temperature. His mind races, replaying Harry’s words over and over again. Didn’t Harry already know how he felt about more kids?

As the water mingles with his tears, Louis realises he’s crying, but the distinction is blurred by the shower’s spray. He leans against the tiled wall, the steady stream of water providing a brief respite, the rage inside him slowly diminishing as he begins to look at things from Harry’s perspective.

Like Harry, he also feels a sense of culpability and desires a resolution to this matter, as their previous discussion remained inconclusive, there was still much more to be said. After drying himself and donning sweatpants and a t-shirt, he refrains from grooming his hair. His sole focus is to ensure Harry’s well-being and bring closure to this situation, clearing up any misunderstandings.

Louis descends the staircase, his footsteps barely audible, so light and airy, as if he is treading on fragile ground, on eggshells. This sensation is unfamiliar to him in the context of his relationship with Harry, and it evokes a profound emotional response making him want to cry again.

As he reaches the bottom step, he notices Harry sitting outside in the darkness, his gaze fixed upward towards the sky as the moon’s lighting lights up his features. Despite the chill in the air, Harry remains unmoved, lost in contemplation.

Louis hesitates for a moment, unsure of how to approach him. But something in Harry’s posture, the way he sits there alone in the darkness, compels Louis to step closer.

“Harry?” He calls softly, his voice breaking through the silence, unsure now of what to expect in return.

Harry looks at him, and despite his current sadness, he can’t help but admire how ethereal Louis looks under the twinkling stars, wrapped in his warm woollen blanket with his wet tousled hair. It’s a sight that would typically soften Harry’s heart, but tonight, disappointment and hurt cloud his feelings.

He wants to stay upset with Louis, to hold onto his resentment, but deep down, he knows he can’t. No matter what Louis may do or say, Harry realises that he’s too deeply in love to hold anything against him for too long. It’s a realisation that weighs heavily on Harry as he grapples with his conflicting emotions, torn between his current feelings and his unwavering devotion.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I really am.” Harry’s voice is earnest, filled with genuine regret. “I shouldn’t have said what I said. I promise you, baby, I didn’t mean ANY of it. I have missed you so much and-”

Louis approaches Harry slowly, his heart heavy with both remorse and relief at Harry’s apology. He can sense the sincerity in Harry’s words, feeling the apology more than actually hearing it. He nods in response, his own emotions threatening to overwhelm him as Harry continues to speak.

“I just wish you had talked to me first, that’s all.” Harry admits and with the amount of sadness in his eyes it almost makes Louis want to turn away so he doesn’t have to endure it any longer. “I always just want to be there for you. That’s all. You shouldn’t have done any of this alone. I wish you would have called me. Lou.”

Taking a deep breath, Louis takes a careful step forward, closing the distance between them. “And I wish you would have let me finish before interrupting me upstairs.” he responds softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

With the tension now having eased between them, Louis takes a deep breath and prepares to clarify things.

“I went to the appointment, H, that part is true.” Louis states, catching Harry’s attention. Harry sits forward, elbows on his knees, hands clasped tightly.  “But I got as far as the parking lot and I just couldn’t go through with it, I just couldn’t. I didn’t even get out of the car.”

Harry’s reaction is immediate; he stiffens, his hands clenching even tighter as he waits for further confirmation.

“Lou, don’t fuck with me please.”

“I’m not.” Louis says defensively as Harry stands up in front of him.

“So you are—”

“Very much pregnant.” Louis affirms.

“Pregnant?”

“Yes, Harry. I’m pregnant, and very moody. I am so sorry.” Louis admits.

Harry falls to his knees, his arms wrapping around Louis’ waist, his cheek softly pressed to Louis’ stomach, Louis’ hand automatically falling to stroke at Harry’s hair.

“ I am so scared, Harry.”

Harry stands, fully aware of the significance of his words and the impact they will have on Louis. He knows what it is that he needs to hear as he gently reassures him.

“You are not replacing him darling.”

With a gentle embrace, he places a kiss upon Louis’ damp hair.

“Do you hear me? You are going to be fine. We are going to be fine. You have me here this time, and I’m not going anywhere.”

As Harry gently cradles Louis’ face in his hands, he leans in to press a kiss to his lips. Louis closes his eyes, feeling the warmth of Harry’s touch soothing his troubled thoughts. The kiss is full of  reassurance, a delicate touch, as if each movement is choreographed with precision and tenderness. Their lips meet softly, almost hesitantly at first, as if testing the waters of forgiveness and love.

The kiss deepens, as if they’ve found solace in each other’s embrace once again. It’s a kiss conveying emotions that words alone cannot express. With each gentle press of their lips, there’s a silent exchange of understanding and acceptance, but more importantly… forgiveness.

When Harry speaks, Louis watches his lips move, reading the words before they are spoken aloud. The question lingers in the air, heavy with anticipation and uncertainty.

“We are having another baby then?”

‘ Another baby’ Gosh, the knowledge that Harry would never forget Saxon and would always find ways to include him brought a sense of joy to Louis’ soul. Yet, it also stirred a longing within him, a desire to reciprocate Harry’s ability to cherish their son’s memory in his own way.

Harry’s repeated questioning, accompanied by a positive sense of optimism, has prompted Louis to engage in an action he has not undertaken since the initial test.

He carefully smiles .

“We are.”

“We arrrrrrrre.” Harry suddenly exclaimed in a blaring tone, realising he had neighbours and quickly covered his mouth.

Even though Louis looks as snug as a bug, Harry, who had been flushed and angry earlier on, had not felt the coldness. Now, he notices the chill in the air and observes the frosty breath escaping Louis’ lips as he exhales. “Come on.” Harry says softly. “Let’s get you inside.”

As Harry sheds his jeans, a mischievous smirk dances across his lips as he casts a playful glance at Louis’ belly. Though there’s no visible change yet, he can’t resist a chuckle.

“When do you think it happened?” he teases.

Louis quirks an eyebrow in response. “When what happened?”

Harry smirks and playfully gyrates his hips in a thrusting motion, prompting a soft chuckle from Louis.

“Seriously? Are you serious right now?” Louis retorts, a playful glint in his eyes. “You mean, when did we conceive? Is that what you are asking?”

Harry laughs. “Yeah, that. I’m just excited, okay? Can’t help it.”

As Harry strips down to his boxers, memories flood Louis’ mind. He knows the precise moment they conceived. It was the ONLY opportunity, and the dates align perfectly.

“I know exactly when it happened.” Louis says, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

Harry raises an eyebrow in curiosity.

“Well, when?”

Louis blushes even more as he recalls the night vividly in his head.

“It’s actually funny that you mentioned the night at the bar the last time Liam and Niall were here.” Louis remarks and Harry’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Oh.”

“Yeah… oh.” Louis echoes with a laugh.

🚨 FLASHBACK 🚨 

The night had already seen its fair share of alcohol consumption. Niall had been in town for only three days, yet he had already managed to drag them out to a bar. Liam, as usual, assumed the role of the responsible one, playing the part of the parent. Niall, on the other hand, was already two drinks ahead of everyone else. As for the other two, well, they were about to find themselves in a bit of trouble.

As the music pulsed through the crowded room, bodies swaying and moving to the seductive beat, Harry sets his drink aside, his eyes locking onto Louis across the dancefloor.

With a slow deliberate stride, and with naughty intentions heavy on his mind, he sauntered over to Louis, his gaze smouldering with desire.

With a sly grin, he doesn’t hesitate when he reaches him, sliding up behind him, his hands finding their rightful place on Louis’ hips, immediately pulling him in closer. He presses against Louis from behind, his body moving in sync with the beat, the heat between them spiking.

Leaning in close, Harry’s voice is low and sultry, carrying over the music as he huskily sings along into Louis’ ear, his lips grazing Louis’ earlobe with each word, sending shivers down Louis’ spine. His warm breath caresses all of Louis’ skin, igniting a fire within.

Louis can feel the intensity of Harry’s gaze on his neck, sending a jolt of electricity through his veins and right down to his crotch. They move as one to the sensual rhythm, lost in the intoxicating allure of the music and each other as Harry latches onto his neck, bite after bite, as Louis lets his head fall to the side allowing more space.

Louis hisses as Harry’s tongue trails up his neck, creating goosebumps from head to toe. Unable to contain the surge of desire any longer, he thrusts his body against Harry’s, craving friction, implying and begging for more. With each subtle movement, Louis moans too loudly, his actions a desperate plea for Harry to take him to new heights of ecstasy.

Louis continues to move with effortless grace, his body swaying seductively. The heat of the club surrounds them, adding to the heated intensity of their dance. As Louis loses himself in the music, he can feel the alcohol coursing through him, heightening his senses and amplifying every sensation that Harry is sending his way. Beads of sweat glisten on his skin now, catching the dim lights of the club, and In a haze of desire and alcohol, he finds himself surrendering to every one of Harry’s touch. With a raw intensity, Harry draws Louis closer again, their bodies pressed together in a fervent union. Amidst the pulsating music and swirling bodies, Louis and Harry share an electrifying connection, each movement, exuding an irresistible magnetism. Harry’s touch ignites a fiery desire within Louis, his fingers tracing tantalising paths along Louis’ skin.

Lost in the heat of their passion, Harry’s hands roam eagerly over every part of Louis that he can get his hands on, setting both their hormones ablaze causing much attention from many onlookers around them. With a primal urgency and with an intensity that defies the chaos around them, Harry acts fast, the fabric of Louis’ shirt ripped away in seconds with reckless abandon revealing the raw vulnerability beneath, leaving Louis bare in Harry’s grasp.

In a daring display of passion, he lifts Louis effortlessly, their bodies pressed together in a fierce embrace. Louis responds eagerly, his legs instinctively wrapping around Harry as they move in unison to the hypnotic beat.

Harry’s fingers claw down Louis’ back, leaving marks in their wake. As Harry gently guides Louis back to the ground, Louis playfully turns his back to him, his movements enticingly provocative. With a mischievous grin, he flicks his hand up and grabs a fistful of Harry’s hair, pulling him closer with an electrifying force, his other hand falling to grope at himself, his palm pushing into his hard on, not in order to calm it down but for the damn friction, because he is horny as fuck.

With his hair drenched in sweat, falling in dishevelled waves across his forehead, Louis swipes it away with a determined flick of his hand, biting his lip in anticipation. Ignoring his surroundings,

or to be fair, he just doesn’t simply care given he is so wasted, he develops a one minded track, his focus solely on Harry as he drops to his knees. With nimble fingers, he starts to undo Harry’s jeans, driven by a singular purpose.

Liam and Niall exchange an apprehensive glance from their spot across the room, silently communicating their concern. Liam quickly moves forward, determination etched on his face, as he grabs Harry’s arm with urgency. He leans in close to Harry’s ear and delivers a stern message, his voice laced with authority.

“You two are making a scene. Please, take him home now! Niall’s calling an Uber for you.”

Liam takes charge, guiding the pair towards the exit as they stumble and sway, their senses dulled by the alcohol. The room is spinning, everything sounds muffled, and cocks are painfully aching.

The room seems to blur around them, and even the simplest of movements feels like a challenge.

As they finally step outside, Liam releases their hands and begins to pat his pockets, ensuring that they have all their belongings. Pleased that nothing appears to have been left behind, he directs a brief look at Niall who is doubled over, clutching his knees and laughing uncontrollably, clearly amused.

“What’s so funny, Ni?” Liam asks with frustration.

Niall just points.

“Them.” 

Harry and Louis are pressed up against the bars front window, their movements erratic and uninhibited. The people inside nearby can’t contain their laughter as they watch Harry’s lavishing attention on Louis’ nipples, right there against the glass for everyone to see.

Liam’s frustration boils over as he watches their antics, and he can’t help but wonder if they’ve taken something.

“For fuck sakes. Have they taken something? Pills, lines?” But Niall doesn’t respond.

Liam shouts over at them. “Oi !!!” But they seem oblivious to his calls.

Meanwhile, Niall, unable to resist the spectacle, pulls out his phone ready to  capture the scene.

“Stop being creepy, Ni, and go make him put his flipping shirt back on.” Liam orders, exasperated by the whole situation.

Amused, Niall snaps the picture despite Liam’s protest.

“Alright, alright, couldn’t resist capturing this moment. Great blackmail material for the future, you know, in case I ever need it.” He chuckles.

Liam shakes his head in disbelief, but he’s relieved when the Uber arrives shortly after, whisking his friends away safely.

Liam stares at Niall, incredulous.

“What the hell happened tonight? I swear, I’ve never seen them like that. I don’t know what got into those two.”

Niall chuckles mischievously, stepping back from Liam’s outraged expression.

“I do. I may have had a hand in it.” Niall confesses, his laughter bubbling.

“What !”

Liam’s eyes widen in disbelief.

“What did you do?” He presses.

Niall can barely contain his laughter as he watches Liam’s expression morph from confusion to outrage.

“Okay, okay, hear me out.” Niall starts, trying to stifle his amusement. “It was my first proper outing with Louis, and, well, I may have persuaded them to partake in a few- “

“You’re joking, right? Please tell me you’re fucking joking! You did NOT give them ‘Aunt Roberta’s’ did you…NIALL???”

Niall’s smirk widens into a grin as he watches Liam’s reaction.

“What?” Niall chuckles. “They had fun, did they not?”

Liam’s expression remains stern as he turns and begins to head back inside, clearly not finding the situation amusing.

“Well, considering those cocktails contain 100% alcohol and are widely regarded as the strongest cocktails in the world, then yes, I’m not surprised they had ‘fun,’ hey?”

Niall pats Liam’s shoulder before swinging open the bar doors.

“Come on, I’m not ready to retire yet.” he says, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Liam scoffs, but follows Niall back inside nonetheless.

“How did you even manage to get the bartender to make those anyway? Most establishments don’t display it directly on their menu because of how potent it is, and most bartenders won’t even serve it when asked.” Liam questions.

Niall tilts his head, pride evident in his expression.

“It’s the Irish charm, my friend. It’s all in the accent and good looks. Good looks, Liam, but you wouldn’t know about that.” Niall teases, nudging Liam’s arm.

“Hey!” Liam punches his arm playfully.

“Let’s just hope they don’t pass out on the way home.” Liam says, a hint of concern underlying his words.

🚨

Contrary to expectations, no one passed out. In fact, it was quite the opposite. The unfortunate Uber driver had witnessed his fair share of bizarre and unbelievable scenes during his time behind the wheel, but tonight undoubtedly took the cake. While it wasn’t unusual to see couples getting cosy after a night out, these two took it to a whole new level, heating up the backseat with their passionate and steamy antics for the entire ride home.

It took forever to get into their home. Harry fumbled with the keys, struggling to find the right one to unlock the front door. It wasn’t just because of his drunken stupor; having Louis shove his hand down his pants, squeezing at his balls, was clearly distracting him and was certainly half to blame.

As soon as the door closed behind them, things escalated rapidly. Shoes were kicked off in a frenzy, clothes hastily ripped open and discarded, a few items broken as glass fell from the kitchen table as they bumped into it.

Before long, Louis found himself pressed against the wall, his back colliding with it with a satisfying crack, though in the heat of the moment, all they could focus on was the passion, not the pain.

“I love the way you fucking kiss me.” Harry moaned into Louis’ mouth, his breath heavy as he pants due to how fast they were moving. After a night of flirting and foreplay, the sexual tension had reached its peak, leaving them both eager to release the pent-up desire that had been building between them over the course of the night.

“Yeah, well I like the way your cock fills my ass, so, how bout you hurry up and fuck me.”

Harry’s kisses become sloppy and messy, forceful yet passionate leaving strings of saliva across their flushed cheeks.

As Harry leads them towards the bedroom, their lack of patience overtakes them, and they halt in the hallway. Harry rushes to  turn Louis around, pressing him hard against the wall with a firm grip, pinning his hands above his head. The wall is freezing and Louis’ whole body reacts, goosebumps forming all over but it does not change anything.

With fierce aggression, Harry’s lips move frantically, alternating between sucking and nibbling on Louis’ ear, neck, and shoulder. His tongue traces a scorching path from the back of Louis’ neck, right down to the bottom of his spine.

The taste is salty and sweaty, but it’s exactly what Harry craves as he savours the flavour, almost afraid that he might never get to experience it again, lighting the way to ignite the familiar flames of passion they are both used to.

“Keep your hands there. Don’t fucking move, I swear to god.” Harry commands and Louis bites his lip.

But instead of feeling intimidated, he smirks in response. He knows what’s coming, and damn, he loves it. Most of the time, their lovemaking is sweet, tender, and intimate, but drunk Harry? Drunk Harry is Louis’ favourite, because he’s rough, fast, and relentless, leaving Louis unable to move after he’s done with him.

Harry’s hands glide down Louis’ sides, creating friction that ignites a slight burn. They come to a stop when they reach his ass, firmly clasping each cheek. Harry then drops to his knees, while Louis continues to lean against the wall, adjusting himself to plant his palms flat against the surface, his hands spread wide in order to support himself.

He feels his cheeks being pulled apart, a cold wet tongue connecting promptly upon his rim, circling and wriggling furiously as Louis moans. His own erection is trapped, pressed against the wall, the friction from every movement of pleasure causing precum to smear against the surface.

Louis inhales sharply as the tongue retreats, replaced by Harry’s long, dexterous fingers trailing over his skin  then entering him. Harry had given them a quick suck, and since they had already had sex earlier that morning, his fingers slid in easily. Working the area, Harry pumps his fingers in and out, Louis pressing down trying to add more pressure.

“ Harry, bed, please. I don’t wanna cum yet, please hurry up and fuck me already.”

In a blur of movement, Louis finds himself lifted and thrown onto the bed, bouncing slightly from the force. Harry stands tall at the foot of the bed, taking a moment to grasp himself firmly, pumping a few times before he seizes Louis’ ankles and swings him over onto his stomach. Louis rises to his knees, presenting himself eagerly, ready to be taken.

It has dragged on long enough and Harry can’t delay any longer, desperate for some satisfaction of his own, with Louis equally desperate for a release. As he presses into Louis, Harry’s head falls back slightly in pleasure, realising that every time they make love, it feels like the very first time all over again. The butterflies, the nerves, the sensation of being inside Louis so close and connected, is always so breathtaking. It’s an addictive feeling, sending waves of endorphins through both of them.

“Babe, I’m not gonna last long.” Harry admits, his voice strained with desire.

Normally, he would be embarrassed, but in their intoxicated state, they’re not processing things as they normally would. There’s no response from Louis, who’s too busy lost in a chorus of unrestrained noises—moans, groans, and a string of repeated “fuck, fuck, fuck” escaping his lips.

Harry moves like a jackhammer, his pace quickening with each thrust, sweat dripping from his forehead and landing on the crease of Louis’ back. Louis tenses, and Harry knows what’s about to happen just before it does. With a loud scream, Louis comes hard, ropes of cum squirting everywhere as Harry hits his prostate perfectly.

He grips Louis’ hips tightly, anchoring him in place as he relentlessly pounds him hard and deep, chasing his own release. With each thrust, he gets closer and closer, a light bulb instinctively going off.

It’s dim, but it’s still there.

Despite the intoxication clouding his mind, a sense of responsibility kicks in, reminding him of the rule he must abide by – he needs to pull out.

That’s the rules.

As the heat of climax engulfs him, Harry’s breath comes out in ragged gasps, his body trembling with the intensity of his impending release. “Fuck!” he exclaims, the urgency evident in his voice as he hastily withdraws, his hand wrapping around his throbbing shaft just in time. With a primal groan, he releases streams of hot ecstasy, painting Louis’ quivering entrance with his load.

In the midst of their passionate encounter, Harry’s usual precision is lost in the whirlwind of sensations. Hindered by the alcohol coursing through his veins and the overwhelming desire pulsing within him, he finds himself unable to control his movements with his usual finesse. Normally, he aims for his back, but unfortunately, tonight he was unable to do so due to his limited motor functions.

In a haze of ecstasy, Harry’s focus was consumed solely by the pulsating waves of pleasure coursing through him. Without conscious thought, he guides the tip of his dick back into Louis, the thick pools of cum acting as a slippery conduit. As he pushes inside moaning at the overstimulation, the mixture of their essences blends, coating Louis’ inner walls in a sensual embrace of intimacy and……. lots and lots of sperm .

🚨 END OF FLASHBACK 🚨

As they reminisce about the wild night, Harry can’t help but acknowledge the intensity of their passion, even through the foggy memories.

“Thinking about it is already getting me all worked up—”

“Maybe in the morning. I’m not feeling too well.” Louis says, politely declining the suggestion.

And Harry just smiles because he is totally fine with that, especially now when he knows what’s causing the discomfort.

Yet, amidst the recollection, he feels a pang of remorse for his shortcomings.

“That night was something else, wasn’t it? But Lou, I owe you an apology for, you know, failing you. I never meant to let you down like that. I hope you know I’d never intentionally do that to you. I thought I had pulled out properly.”

Louis leans in, brushing his lips against Harry’s tenderly.

“I know. Don’t worry about it, it is what it is. Let’s get some rest.”

Louis is initially puzzled by Harry’s sudden laughter.

“What’s so amusing?” he asks, as Harry pulls him closer, his voice barely above a whisper.

“This baby, it’s all Niall’s fault.” Harry chuckles softly.

Louis can’t help but snort in agreement.

“It totally is.” he agrees, their laughter filling the room as they settle in for the night.

It may have been an exhausting homecoming today, but now, as Harry finally leans over to switch off the light, he turns back to Louis with eager anticipation, his heart racing with the promise of what’s to come in the future.

“I can’t believe this is really happening.”

Truth be told, Louis couldn’t agree more. While he genuinely deep down shares in Harry’s joy, there’s a silent turmoil brewing within him, one he dare not voice aloud. It’s a nagging thought that will haunt him in the coming months until the moment of truth arrives.

Deep down, he wonders if he’s truly ready for this, if he can muster the strength to welcome another precious life into the world. But there’s one particular fear that grips him tight: the fear of facing the possibility of having another boy. It’s a fear he keeps tucked away, buried deep in his heart, praying silently to whatever higher power may be listening that this time, it will be different. He could not handle another boy, for obvious reasons. Louis’ fingers and toes are entirely crossed for a tiny little girl.

He will be okay, he thinks….He hopes .

But I guess… Only time will tell.

🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Don’t yell at me. 🤣

Peace out ✌️

See you next chapter where there’s a BIG time jump 👀 and a new tiny character. 🍼

Chapter 17 - What did you just say?

A/N

So, a couple of things.

You are really not going to like the first line of this chapter.

2. So, please forgive me for that, I am extremely sorry. Xoxo

You will really love me when you reach the end. ( Hint: best cliffhanger of all time) so, you are welcome. ♡

 

‘ Never give up, for that is the place and time, that the tide will turn.’ 

🚨🚨 

4 years later

  🚨🚨

A/N ( I said I was sorry, stop yelling at me )

Louis is running late. Despite his text to Harry claiming he was “stuck” at work, Harry sees right through the excuse. It’s become an annual ritual, the same tired narrative playing out time and time again.

Harry sets his phone down gently on the kitchen counter, making sure not to disturb the array of snacks spread out before him. Biscuits, candies, potato crisps, and a freshly baked cake adorned with a big number 4 sit waiting to be enjoyed.

From behind him, a tender voice pierced the silence carrying with it a touch of sadness.

“Papa, is daddy coming home soon?”

The words tug at Harry’s heartstrings, and he feels tears welling up in his eyes.

“Yes, piggy.” he replies softly, turning and braving a smile. “Daddy will be home very soon.”

Upon hearing the familiar nickname, Harry notices a subtle change in his child’s demeanour. The slight downturn of their lips transforms into a genuine smile brightening their eyes with excitement, meaning his plan had worked.

“Yippee!” the child exclaims, their voice bubbling over with exhilaration and delight.

The thing was, Louis wasn’t at work. He was seated in his car, which was parked a short distance from their residence. This day has always been emotionally challenging for him, and he required a brief period to reflect and actually breathe.

Birthdays were meant to be joyous occasions, but for him, they often dredged up memories and emotions he’d rather forget. He looked at himself in the rearview mirror, taking a second to compose himself. He couldn’t let his own feelings overshadow this day. It would be unfair to the young child patiently waiting for him at home if he allowed himself to succumb to the negative frame of mind that was currently encroaching upon him. With a deep sigh, he wiped away his tears and resolved to shift his mindset before heading back to celebrate.

Louis entered the house, greeted by the delightful aroma of chocolate cake wafting through the air. The sound of laughter reached his ears, filling him with warmth and contentment. He paused in the kitchen doorway, observing the scene before him with much joy and longing. Harry was engrossed in playful antics with their child, a sight that never failed to fill his heart with such unconditional love.

As he watched, a pang of sadness creeped in, a reminder of the precious moments Harry had missed with Saxon. But he quickly pushed aside those thoughts, reminding himself to focus on the present. He quietly retreated from view, content to linger in the background and soak in the happiness of his family for a quick moment while he prepared himself.

Smiling, he looks down at the present in his hand, the present he had the store owner wrap for him. He clears his throat before letting his presence be known by opening and closing the door louder this time.

“I’m home!“ he calls out, the sound of his voice filling the house.

As he speaks, he hears the pitter-patter of tiny feet approaching, followed by the soft thud of a small body colliding into his leg.

“Daddy! Daddy!” the familiar voice exclaims with excitement 

When he gazes down to observe his child’s arms encircling his thigh, eyes brimming with eagerness, he realises that his actions have been stupid and uncalled for, because he knows he loves his and Harry’s offspring so very much, so much so that it really hurts sometimes.

“Ooooh, is that for me?” the child asks eagerly, eyes shining with curiosity as they scan over the present in Louis’ hand.

Even though he knows it’s his own child standing before him who is about to cop the brunt of it, Louis can’t resist the urge to inject a hint of playfulness, and he blames it entirely on his inner sass.

“Nope, sorry kiddo.” he says with a mischievous grin.

“This present is actually for the other kid up the street who also happens to have a birthday today. You’ll have to wait your turn. Sorry.”

Harry’s frown deepens as he approaches, clearly not amused by Louis’ joke.

“Louis!” he snaps, his tone conveying his displeasure.

Louis can’t help but burst into laughter, but it quickly fades when he notices the disappointment in their child’s eyes.

“Oh, sweetheart.” he says, quickly apologising.

“I was only joking. This present is for you and only you.” He kneels down to their level, offering a reassuring smile.

Louis’ expression turns serious as he acknowledges the impact of his words.

“Sorry. That was a silly joke.” he admits, now full of total regret. Before he can say anything else, their child’s blunt response catches him off guard.

“Well, it wasn’t funny. No one laughed but you, it just showed that you are NOT funny. Papa tells better jokes anyway, don’t ya papa?” It’s a declaration of unwavering honesty and it’s times like these that Louis burns into his memory. 

Louis’ jaw drops in disbelief, and he shoots a look at Harry, who struggles to contain his smirk. Deep down, though, Harry can’t help but feel a sense of pride—yep, there’s definitely a bit of Louis’ DNA shining through.

In the cosy kitchen to where they have moved to, Louis stands by the counter, a soft smile playing on his lips as he observes their child’s joyful reaction. The colourful wrapping paper is strewn across the floor, their child’s eyes sparkling with delight as they hold up the gift, fingers eagerly examining what lies beneath.

“Oh daddy, thank you so much. I love it, I really really love it.”

Witnessing the radiant expression of delight on their child’s face as they hold the gift with wide-eyed wonder and a brilliant smile, Louis experiences a profound sense of happiness in response to the genuine appreciation conveyed in their child’s voice.

“I really wanted this. I love you so much daddy!”

Louis feels a warm glow of content wash over him, grateful for this precious moment shared with his family, those words passing through his ears, through his heart and right into his soul.

“I love you more and I’m glad you like it.”

Lost in thought, Louis watches Harry carefully place the batteries into the new  toy. A warm wave of nostalgia forms, taking him back to a time when they were just beginning this journey together. He can’t help but smile to himself, reminiscing about the day they had their first major ultrasound, the anticipation and excitement as they caught a glimpse of their little one for the very first time.

🚨🚨

FLASHBACK

🚨🚨

Louis stretches and yawns as he rises from his seat after his name is called by the nurse. Today marks the milestone of reaching 20 weeks into the pregnancy, and he’s filled with nerves. Sleep hadn’t been part of the agenda last night, his mind consumed with thoughts of today’s appointment and the possibility of learning the gender of their baby.

Louis settles onto the hospital bed, instinctively reaching out for Harry’s hand

after he makes himself a bit more comfortable.

While Harry radiates excitement in every way he can, when the ultrasound finally starts Louis is feeling both thrilled, yet scared.

Harry had been amazing through this pregnancy, through everything, just like he knew he would be. He hasn’t left louis’ side, not once. No trips back to LA, no solo trips to Holmes Chapel. He was so loving, attentive and supportive, a real beacon of strength for him and Louis would never be able to repay him. More often than not, he can’t help but wonder if he really deserves such an exceptional partner.

The nurse explained the procedure as she applied gel to Louis’ abdomen and gently manoeuvres the Doppler wand, searching for the baby’s heartbeat. After some time, she switches to measuring the baby’s size and growth. Harry watches anxiously, his eyes brimming with tears as he sees their baby on the monitor.

Finally, the nurse asks the question they’ve both been waiting for: “Would you like to know the sex of your baby?”

For the first time in a long while, Louis had sat quietly in the familiar pews of the church last week feeling a sense of déjà vu as he returned to the same place where he had once sought solace in the past. This time, his prayers were different as he sat alone and in silence. Not only did he pray for Saxon, but he also found himself bowing his head, his thoughts consumed by the one wish he couldn’t let go of…for a healthy baby girl.

Louis feels his heart pounding in his chest, its thud seemingly audible to everyone around. Harry, attuned to his partner’s every shift, notices Louis’ discomfort immediately.

“Hey, are you okay?” Harry’s concern is palpable as he reaches out to touch Louis’ arm, seeking reassurance.

Louis brushes it off with a feeble excuse about heartburn. He knows it’s a weak cover-up, especially considering how smooth this pregnancy has been so far in comparison to Saxon’s. Hardly no morning sickness, no heartburn, no back pain yet, a bit of tiredness but that was the front of it.

Taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart, Louis insists;

“I’m fine, really. Please, continue.”

But inside, he’s anything but calm, his mind racing with fear.

‘Please be a girl, please be a girl.’

As the radiographer announces the news, Louis holds his breath.

“ Congratulations to the both of you.“ She says with a warm smile.

This was the decisive moment. Regardless of the outcome, he would undoubtedly love and cherish their child. However, he clung to the hope that having a daughter would alleviate the emotional challenges associated with memories and heartache. In a sense, having a girl would symbolise a fresh beginning, a total…new start.

“It seems that you have an energetic young daughter in there. She is quite active and won’t stop moving. Have you been able to feel her movements yet?”

Louis had missed his 12-week scan, too scared back then to fully acknowledge the pregnancy. It was a decision that had caused tension between him and Harry, but eventually, Harry, as always, managed to talk some sense into him. Now, here they were at his 20-week scan, together, ready to embrace the journey ahead as parents.

Louis glances downward at his abdomen, his hand instinctively moving to rest upon his stomach, seemingly unconcerned about the gel that coats his fingers.

“I can.”

He looks at Harry who beams with joy, and for a moment, Louis allows himself to share in that happiness. But despite the good news, a lingering fear still gnaws at him, leaving him still feeling unsettled.

Harry leans in to kiss him, his excitement palpable.

“A little girl, a daughter, Lou.” he whispers, his voice filled with such awe and love. Louis looks back at the screen, where their daughter’s image flickers, and he can’t help but feel a surge of affection for the tiny life growing inside him. Yet, beneath it all, that same fear remains, and he has no clue why.

For the next few months, Harry’s excitement for their impending arrival reached new heights. He became worse than a bridezilla, going on shopping sprees every week. It started with small things like clothes and toys, but soon escalated to strollers and other furniture items. Harry seemed to have an insatiable appetite for baby gear.

However, as the due date approached, a big problem surfaced: they were still living in Louis’ tiny two-bedroom house. With their new baby on the way, they needed more space, especially for a nursery. It was a dilemma that soon divided them.

Harry had assumed Louis would understand the need for change. They needed the spare room, the one down the hall—the room that held so much emotional weight. But Louis remained steadfast: that room was not to be touched. So, Harry proposed another solution: finding a new place to live.

However, Louis shut down that idea too. Despite the passing time, he still clung to the hope that one day Saxon would return to his rightful home, to his own room. The mere thought of leaving behind the memories tied to that room was unbearable for Louis, no matter how practical it seemed to Harry.

Harry’s frustration boiled over, feeling lost in how to resolve the issue. While the baby could stay in their bedroom for a little while, it wasn’t a long-term solution. After officially moving out of his LA home and selling it to Liam who had been eager to buy it, Harry found himself with some extra cash.

After sleeping on it for a few weeks, he pitched the idea of using some of that money to add an extra bedroom to their current house. It took some convincing, but eventually, Louis relented. With plans in motion for adding the addition, Harry felt relieved. The Problem was solved.

🚨🚨

END OF FLASHBACK

🚨🚨

The doorbell chimes, jolting Louis back to reality. “I’ll get it.” he mutters, already anticipating his mother’s punctual arrival.

Louis opens the door and is met with an excited;

“ Where is she?”

Louis scoffs, his tone sounding a little bitter but playful.

“In the kitchen with H. Nice to see you too, Mother. Funny how children get forgotten about when grandchildren are around.”

Jay brushes past him with a dismissive ‘pfft’, eager to present her granddaughter with a gift.

You can tell the moment Jay is spotted because there is a high pitch scream.

“Nan!”

Jay lowers the gift down carefully onto the table.

“Hey there, Delilah. Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Jay greets warmly, opening her arms wide as she rushes into her embrace.

Delilah Jo-Anne Styles made her entrance into the world smoothly, stealing Harry’s heart the moment he laid eyes on her. Some might argue that she had already captured his affection since the first time he felt her kick in Louis’ belly. Despite her active nature, Delilah proved to be a peaceful baby, sleeping through the night and contentedly playing on her own as she grew older. She seemed to inherit the best traits from both her parents – Harry’s dark hair and dimples and Louis’ petite stature and a hint of blue in her eyes. She was undeniably adorable, a perfect blend of her loving parents.

Oli arrives shortly after, and amid singing “ Happy Birthday “ and engaging in some fun activities, Louis finds himself standing over the sink, swirling his hand around the plate as he quickly moves to clean up a bit of the mess while no one is looking. However, his mother can tell something is playing on his mind.

“How are you holding up?”

Jay attempts to conceal her concern as she gently places one hand on his shoulder blade. He simply turns to look at her, and in that moment, Jay immediately knows that her intuition was accurate.

“Come sit.” she says gently, handing him a hand towel to dry his hands.

Louis confides in his mum about his ongoing struggles. Despite the amount of years passing by, the fear that gripped him during the ultrasound never truly dissipated; if anything, it intensified. It wasn’t just about the gender afterall; it was something deeper. After Delilah’s birth, it became painfully clear that Louis couldn’t handle being alone with her. Physically, he was capable, but mentally, he was haunted by doubts.

Louis couldn’t trust himself .

He continuously experienced and stayed in a state of panic due to concerns about his ability to keep her safe and frankly, he didn’t trust his own parenting anymore. As a result, he opted to always keep her at home, refraining from going to the shops and other outings, often resulting in causing himself meltdowns. The mere thought of taking her just to buy groceries would send him spiralling, haunted by the possibility of something going terribly wrong.

He was overwhelmed by the apprehension that negative outcomes would inevitably occur if he were solely the one for her care. These fears stemmed from the trauma of losing Saxon in the past, which instilled a profound fear of enduring the same pain of losing a child all over again.

The one place Louis refused to go to, the number one destination, a practice that still persists even to this day… was the playground.

The fear of losing Delilah, of enduring that same heart-wrenching pain once more, consumed him with a paralysing terror. No matter what anyone said or did, he couldn’t shake the feeling of impending disaster, robbing him of the joy he once found in parenting. But if Harry was there, if he wasn’t alone and with no opportunity to mess up, he loved spending time with her, he cherished their time together with Delilah. It was undeniably a difficult situation to say the least.

Louis’ voice trembled as he spoke, his words weighed down by the burden of the sorrow that had plagued him for years.

“He is eight this year, almost nine.” he murmured.

The missed years, the lack of commemorations and shared experiences with his son, still sat engraved on Louis’ conscience. With each passing birthday, the absence of Saxon was keenly felt, casting a shadow over what should have been joyous occasions.

Turning to his mother, he felt a lump form in his throat as he confessed.

“I’ve missed out on so many things Mum. So much of Delilah’s life.”

If the sobbing wasn’t enough, the ache in his chest was. But amidst the pain there was a glimmer of resolve stirring within Louis—a determination to finally confront the demons that had haunted him for so long.

Delilah let out a hearty laughter as Louis turned his attention towards Harry, who was playfully tickling her. Right then, he made a decision, a decision to relinquish the grip of the past and wholeheartedly embrace the present.

Louis acknowledged that Saxon was no longer with them and that it was never going to change. It was imperative to find a way to honour his memory while simultaneously forging ahead. This decision was not only for his own well-being but also for Delilah’s.

“I need to tell Harry. I need to tell him that I’m ready. Ready to accept that Saxon is never coming home, and that I need to let go, it’s time. It’s time to end the search.  I mean I don’t even know if he is even alive mum. I have kept this hope that someday I will see him again but-”

Jay reaches out and gently wipes away his tears, but now that he has started crying, Louis finds it difficult to stop.

“My personal grief over the loss of Saxon resulted in neglecting my responsibilities towards my daughter. It is unfair to her and, in retrospect, to Harry as well. Jesus, it wasn’t fair to her or Harry. What have I done mum?”

It was a moment of profound vulnerability, his first step towards healing the wounds that had long festered in his heart. The fact is, everything he stated was accurate. The situation had been unfair to both parties involved. Delilah never received the complete parenting she deserved from Louis, and Harry never received the necessary assistance he needed as co-parent. Harry loves him unconditionally and he knows that and all he did was leave him to parent on his own. Harry would never openly admit how Louis’ behaviour had affected him because he cherishes his role as a parent and partner too much. Harry didn’t blame Louis, because he understood him. He loves him.

The relationship with Harry and Delilah is so strong and precious and the more Louis thinks about it, the more he cries.

Flashbacks flooded his mind, each one a painful reminder of the times he had let Delilah down. There was the time she had eagerly asked him to go to a fair when Harry was sick, but he had brushed her off, claiming he was too busy with work. Then there was the day he had promised to take her to the playground, only to cancel last minute because he was too anxious, already knowing from the beginning it would be a strict no.

The friction between him and Harry had been building for months, stemming from his inability to fully engage with Delilah. Harry had tried to be understanding, but there were moments when his frustration boiled over, resulting in heated arguments that left both of them feeling hurt and resentful.

Deep down, Louis knew he needed to change. He couldn’t continue to let his fear and anxiety dictate his actions as a parent any longer. Delilah deserved better, and he was determined to make things right, even if it meant facing his fears head-on and stepping out of his comfort zone.

With his mother’s gentle touch and understanding gaze as a source of strength, Louis knew that he was not alone in his journey towards acceptance and healing. And as he prepared to share this new truth with Harry, he found a flicker of hope amidst the darkness—a hope that one day, he would find peace and closure in the embrace of his loved ones.

“Baby listen to me. They both love you very much, we all do. Only you know what feels right sweetheart, whatever it is you feel the need to do, you listen and follow your heart alright. Only you, know what’s truly best for you. Talk to Harry and go and kiss your daughter.”

🚨

The post-party cleanup took longer than anticipated due to Delilah’s unexpected tantrum when Harry put her to bed. Notably, Harry demonstrated exceptional care and gentleness in his interactions with Delilah, embodying the ideal qualities of a parent and within minutes, she was out cold asleep. While Louis understood that having another child would be challenging, he hadn’t anticipated just how much it would affect him.

From the moment she was born Louis struggled. He remembers looking down at her when she was first placed in his arms, her beady little eyes staring back at him with curiosity, but she let out a piercing cry and he just stared at her, frozen in fear. And just like that he felt anxious, nervous, and it was like a lifetime of worry flashed through his thoughts.

What if he dropped her? What if he couldn’t make her happy? What if he couldn’t settle her down? What if he accidentally hurt her? What…if…he…LOST her?

Harry’s heart had sunk as he observed the change, a subtle but unmistakable resignation settling around them. It felt as though Louis had surrendered to his fears and doubts, closing himself off from the possibility of happiness and connection with their daughter, like he had given up without even giving it a chance.

Gently, Harry had reached out and took Delilah into his arms, his touch infused with tenderness and worry. He couldn’t bear to see Louis withdraw, to witness him retreating into the shadows of his own insecurities.

“Louis.” Harry had murmured softly, trying his best to show some empathy and understanding. “She’s our daughter, love. She needs us both, and I know you can be an amazing father to her, just like you were to -”

Louis had met Harry’s gaze, his eyes reflecting that complex blend of fear and guilt. Something inside of Harry had told him to stop, to just let it go, to be quiet.

As Harry held their daughter close, he whispered words of reassurance to Delilah, a promise to always be there for her, no matter what challenges they may face. And in that simple gesture of love, he hoped to plant the seeds of hope and healing in Louis’ heart too, aiming to ignite a flame of determination to overcome his fears and embrace the joys of fatherhood once more…but it just didn’t happen.

🚨

He had made a hasty decision, one that he acknowledged was not ideal. He desired to have a conversation with Zayn prior to speaking with Harry. By doing so, he aimed to eliminate any potential for Harry to sway his decision in a different direction.

As he mentally prepared himself for the difficult conversation ahead, it felt weird not knowing what to say. It had been months since he had seen or heard from Zayn, but he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer.

He had been instrumental in the search for Saxon, and Louis owed it to him to give him an update, no matter how bleak.

Since reconnecting with Liam two months after hiring him, Zayn had become one of their closest friends. Louis had leaned on him for support during the search as an employer and as a friend. He had been a constant source of encouragement, pushing Louis to keep searching even when it seemed hopeless.

Zayn had been relentless in his efforts to track down any leads on Saxon’s whereabouts. One time, roughly three months into his search, he had managed to locate a black Range Rover that had been spotted near the Eurotunnel all those months ago, a potential clue that could lead them to Saxon. But by the time he had obtained the number plate and followed up with the police, the car had already been found, abandoned in a paddock and set on fire, leaving them no closer to finding Saxon. Unfortunately that was as close as they ever got.

As Louis took a deep breath and prepared to make the call, he stared at the screen at Zayn’s name. He was grateful for Zayn’s unwavering support and determination, but he also dreaded delivering the news that they were to end their search, especially when he knew how invested Zayn now felt after becoming part of their tight knit group. Zayn flew back and forth between Doncaster and LA just like Harry used to in order to see Liam. Nonetheless, he knew it was a conversation that needed to happen, no matter how difficult it might be.

He pressed the call button and settled back into the lounge as he waited for the call to connect. When Zayn finally answered, Louis began a series of greetings and life updates, attempting to prolong the conversation before addressing the matter at hand. It wasn’t that he was afraid to tell Zayn, but rather the weight of closing this chapter, ending the search, and accepting the fate that life had hastily bestowed upon him…

Letting go of his little boy.

As Louis spoke, he could hear the frustration and disappointment in Zayn’s voice. Zayn had been tirelessly working to track down any information that could lead them to Saxon, even when they were constantly hitting dead ends.

Finally, Louis politely brought up the topic of payment. However, given his decision to conclude the search, Louis expressed his inability to continue compensating Zayn for his efforts. Even if he allowed Zayn to work quietly behind closed doors he would still need to pay him and he just wasn’t prepared to do that anymore.

“If I could keep paying you I-”

But before Louis could finish his sentence, Zayn interrupted him.

“Louis, stop.” Zayn said firmly.

“There is no need for you to pay me any more. As you are aware, we are friends now, remember? I am more than willing to continue assisting you in any way that I can, but I do not want you to feel obligated to me in any way. My initial intention in embarking on this endeavour was to provide you with the answers you sought, but unexpectedly, I have gained new friendships in the process. Therefore, I do not anticipate any form of payment from you, Louis.”

Zayn appears to be expressing a sense of desperation, yet the genuineness of his words almost evokes tears in his eyes. Over time, Zayn has become a cherished and integral part of their lives.

“Louis, I understand your feelings and I respect that. However, may I ask that if you are no longer willing to conduct the search, could you please consider allowing me to investigate in the background on my own? I can keep all details to myself unless something major comes to light. As an investigator, I feel compelled to continue as I am already deeply invested in the case. I genuinely want to keep helping you guys. You have all become like family to me.”

Louis was pleasantly taken aback by Zayn’s generosity, for it truly reflects his inherent nature as a kind, caring, and a dedicated individual. It is no wonder that Harry was so delighted to witness Liam’s blossoming affection for someone as genuine, thoughtful, joyful, and career-oriented as Zayn.

Despite the considerable amount of time Zayn had already dedicated to assisting them, he was still willing to continue the search solely out of friendship. It served as a humbling reminder of the unwavering support they had received throughout their challenging experience over the years, and Louis couldn’t help but feel deeply grateful for Zayn’s steadfast friendship.

No one was more surprised than Louis himself when he muttered.

“Ok.”

With the conversation having gone well with Zayn, now, it had come to the hard part.

Telling Harry.

🚨

“Who is hungry?”

Harry strategically positions the substantial bowl of nachos in the centre of the dining table, alongside the tacos and chicken skewers. Sundays have always held a special place in his heart. Since the arrival of Delilah, their family has made it a tradition to gather for dinner every Sunday evening. Their parents make the journey down to their residence, as do all the  siblings.

Tonight, however, it is only themselves, their daughter, and both of their mothers. It is significantly quieter than usual, and Louis interprets this as an opportunity to share his thoughts on discontinuing the search for Saxon. However, the subject arose before he was fully prepared to address it.

“Saxon’s annual sketch update is tomorrow isn’t it? Louis, will you be attending this year?“

Louis avoids eye contact and feels slightly irritated that his mother posed that question in such an open setting. She, more than anyone, should be aware of his feelings on the matter.

The cessation of Louis’ attendance at the sketch commenced last year. The previous year had a profound impact on him, as he witnessed a significant alteration in Saxon’s physical appearance. This observation elicited an emotional response, resulting in continuous weeping during his journey home and the subsequent days that followed.

Harry had called and invited Jay to spend a few days with them in the hopes of cheering him up and spending some time with Delilah. However, after a few days of discussions with his mother, Louis informed Harry that he no longer wished to attend the sketch updates as they were causing him too much pain. Louis clarified that Harry was welcome to continue the updates, but he simply did not want to see them anymore as his heart could not bear it and Harry totally respected that.

Harry quickly cleared his throat, sensing Louis’ hesitation in responding.

“No, um, ahem, it will just be me going and that’s perfectly okay and -”

But before he could finish, Louis interjected firmly.

“I will be staying home with Delilah.”

The sudden interruption left everyone at the table stunned, their eyebrows shooting up in surprise as their drinks were placed back onto the table with a soft clink. It wasn’t just the interruption that caught them off guard; it was the implication that Louis would be alone with Delilah, a scenario they hadn’t anticipated and one that raised concerns, not for Delilah’s safety, but for Louis’ own mental well-being.

Louis could feel their eyes on him, their unspoken worries hanging heavy in the air. He tried to ignore the weight of their concern, focusing instead on the determination in his own voice.

“I’ve got this.” he added, trying to sound more confident than he felt.

But even as he spoke, doubt gnawed at him from within. He knew he had to face his fears, to push past the anxiety that had held him back for so long. Delilah deserved better, and he was determined to be the father she needed, even if it meant confronting his own demons.

Delilah’s innocent voice shattered the comfortable silence that had settled over the table. “Yay, me and Daddy, yay yay yay!”

Her words were met with warm smiles from everyone around the table. Jay reached out and placed her hand on top of Louis’, her touch a silent reassurance.

“You will be fine, baby. We are so proud of you.” she whispered softly.

Louis felt a wave of relief wash over him at his mother’s words. He glanced around the table, taking in the faces of his loved ones. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Harry about his decision regarding the search for Saxon, not when everyone seemed so happy.

Delilah’s attention shifted to Anne and Jay, who were now making silly faces at her. The conversation turned to lighter topics, with Anne and Jay discussing their gardens. Harry’s gaze lingered on Louis, filled with adoration as if he had hung all the stars.

Laughter filled the air as the family enjoyed each other’s company, but the moment was short-lived. Delilah’s innocent question pierced through the joy like a dagger.

“Who is Saxon anyway?”

And yeah, how does he answer that? 

With everyone’s attention focused solely on Louis, he looks at each person individually, everyone bearing that same look of panic before glancing over to Delilah, who is seated across from him.

In all fairness, it is not entirely unexpected that Delilah would eventually inquire about this matter. Even during her time as an infant, she demonstrated a keen interest in the photographs adorning the walls, often fixating her gaze upon them and babbling nonsense as she pointed towards them.

“Um, Saxon, he is um.”

Delilah is staring at Louis with such intensity that Louis can see some striking characteristics of Harry in her. She has the same passionate fervent crease in her brow, the same focused and concentrated expression in her eyes. Louis feels the warmth of Harry’s hand that has moved to his thigh and he looks to Harry who smiles, but the concern is evident. Louis bites his lip and looks back at Delilah, who simply just blinks at him while she awaits a reply.

Louis took a deep breath, bracing himself to answer Delilah’s question.

“Well, Saxon, he is -”

“Can we have cheesecake now?” Delilah’s interruption was swift, her eyes sparkling with anticipation as she glanced over at Harry, for she knew that it was he that couldn’t resist her sweet little pleas.

And just like that Delilah’s four year old short attention span had saved Louis from another round of hard explanations.  

“Please, Papa?” Delilah’s sweet voice tugged at Harry’s heartstrings, and he couldn’t help but smile in response.

Louis felt relieved at Delilah’s timely request. He looked down at his lap, exhaling slowly as he tried to gather his thoughts. He hadn’t anticipated having to explain today, but he knew the day would come eventually.

“Sure, baby. Want to help me get out the plates?” Harry’s offer was met with Delilah’s enthusiastic nod, and Louis gratefully seized the opportunity to postpone the difficult conversation for another time.

🚨

Later that night as Harry crawled in next to him, Louis closed his eyes contently when Harry wrapped his arm around him. It’s quiet until Harry’s lips press into his neck followed by a soft remark.

“Tomorrow, are you sure you don’t want me taking Piggy with me?” Harry’s question was laden with concern but Louis managed to muster a small laugh, though his expression remained serious.

“Babe, I really wish you wouldn’t call her that. It sounds so…”

Harry interrupted with a kiss to his neck again, his laughter bubbling up. “She loves it, and it suits her, doesn’t it?”

Louis smiles to himself as he recalls the day Harry first mentioned it. She was quite young, approximately 18 months old. Her hair was growing rapidly and had become quite thick, so Harry styled it into little pigtails. From that moment on, her hair was consistently tied in that manner, becoming her signature look. Harry had affectionately kissed her cheek and taken a photograph, fondly referring to “smile piggy.” The comparison of her hair to pigtails resonated with Harry, and it became a recurring theme in their interactions.

“It does actually.” Louis replied softly.

Harry squeezed his waist, finding comfort in their closeness.

“What made you decide to watch her? Don’t get me wrong, love, I’m thrilled about it. It just came as a surprise, that’s all.”

It appeared as if the room had become darker, despite the impossibility of such an occurrence. As the silence fell around them, a sense of urgency emerged. It was the opportune moment to convey his genuine feelings.

It was time to tell him.

“I spoke with Zayn.”

Louis patiently waited for Harry to inquire what it was about or to make a comment of some sorts, but instead, there was an unsettling silence. It appeared as if Harry already possessed the knowledge. Although he did not, Harry knew Louis too well. He knew something was up based  solely on Louis’ tone. The silence grew increasingly intense as Louis gently removed Harry’s arm and gradually turned to face him.

Although it was pitch black and he couldn’t see the worry in Harry’s eyes, he could still emotionally feel it.

“I love our son so much H.”

Without hesitation, Harry’s hand finds its way to the side of Louis’ wet face, his fingertips tracing the path of a lone tear.

“For years I have cried, prayed and begged to see him again. I’ve dreamt of holding him in my arms once more, I’ve held onto any trace of hope that I could Harry.”

He can feel it now—the warmth of tears streaming down his cheeks, a quiet cascade of emotion. Harry leans forward, his touch gentle as he brushes his lips against Louis’, offering comfort without words, allowing Louis the space to release everything he’s been holding inside.

Harry can hear the sigh Louis makes and it ignites his nerves. He has waited long enough, he is becoming worried by Louis’ sadness. He just really hopes that Louis recognises that crying is not a sign of weakness; it’s just a sign that he has been strong for far too long.

‘Lou, what is it? You are scaring me.”

Even in the dark, Louis averts his gaze, unable to bear the potential of Harry seeing him as he says this.

“It’s time. It’s time to let him go. He’s not coming home, Harry. I can’t keep clutching onto this hope, this endless search. It’s tearing me apart, and I’m just… I’m just holding onto heartache. It’s time to let our boy go H.”

Tears welled in Louis’ eyes as he spoke, his voice trembling with grief and resignation.

Harry’s arms cradled Louis, pulling him closer to his chest. Louis could feel the warmth of Harry’s body and the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he held him tightly. Despite the darkness that surrounded them, Harry’s presence was a source of solace just like it has always been.

“I love you, Louis Tomlinson.” He whispered softly. 

It was all he could say right then. Because he truly loves Louis with his entire being, but he just can’t comprehend it sometimes. He can only attribute it to the fact that they are both at different stages of grief, and that is highly understandable. With Harry learning about Saxon later in life, his own mind and heart are not yet prepared to let go, as Louis had just suggested.

Louis leaned into Harry’s embrace, feeling the strength and reassurance in his hold. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to be comforted by the familiar rhythm of Harry’s heartbeat and the soothing cadence of his voice.

“I’m here for you no matter what you decide. I will always be here for you, always.“

As Harry bestowed a tender kiss upon the summit of his head, Louis experienced a surge of safety. In that fleeting instant and despite the ongoing thoughts he felt while nestled in Harry’s embrace, he possessed an unwavering conviction that everything would ultimately be okay, he just knew it.

🚨

As Harry slowly blinked open his eyes, he was met with an unusual chill in the bed. Groaning, he reached out, expecting to find Louis beside him, but his hand met only empty space. Frowning, he struggled to fully wake up, feeling a dull ache beginning to throb in his temples. He attributed it to either the restless night he had endured or perhaps it was the long day ahead already playing on his mind.

The frown is reversed when he hears Delilah’s delighted squeal. He reaches over to tap his phone, which displays the time. It is 7:57 a.m., and he is scheduled to meet Patrick at 11 a.m, but he must first stop at the grocery store. Normally, he would be the first to rise, prepare breakfast, and ensure Delilah is dressed and ready for the day. As a result, it is unexpected but pleasant to hear Louis already up with her.

He found them downstairs as he quietly observed from afar. As Harry watched Louis and Delilah running around the living room, dancing to the cartoons on the TV, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of anxiety. Louis had taken the day off to spend time with their daughter, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves, but Harry’s mind was elsewhere.

Despite the cheerful atmosphere, Harry couldn’t shake the worry that lingered in the back of his mind. He knew he had to leave soon, but the thought of leaving Louis and Delilah alone made him feel uneasy and it’s only because that is what they were used to.

Harry with Delilah, not Louis.

As he watched them laughing and playing together, Harry couldn’t help but feel torn. On one hand, he desired to remain and treasure these valuable moments with his family, particularly now that Louis is making such an effort, his smile broad and radiant in a manner he had not witnessed in quite some time. He looked lighter, like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. It should make him happy, it should. But knowing it took giving up on their son to see it, feels heartbreaking too.

On the other hand, he could not disregard the obligations that awaited him beyond the secure confines of their home. He had commitments to fulfil and tasks to accomplish, and dwelling on these matters would not yield any positive outcomes.

With a silent prayer, Harry internally expressed his sincere hope for everything to turn out well in his absence. He wished for Louis to discover the inner strength to handle matters independently today. However, deep within him, a lingering apprehension about leaving them behind gnawed at his conscience, casting a slight shadow over what would have been an otherwise joyous day.

“Piggy slow down, love.” Harry warns.

Louis quickly turned his attention to Harry, who was standing in the doorway observing their daughter as she enthusiastically moved between the furniture, simulating the motion of a plane.

“She is fine. She’s an aeroplane, she knows what she is doing, don’t ya baby.”

With the worst possible timing, Delilah stumbled a little on her feet and nearly fell over. Louis’ natural instincts kicked in, and he reached out to grab her before she could topple over. Fear was evident on Harry’s face, as well as Louis’, but Louis did his best to conceal it. What Louis disliked was the “ I told you so “ look he received, but this time it wasn’t playful; it was one of concern, and that genuinely pissed him off. Louis had deliberately woken up early that morning with a new, positive outlook. He was determined to improve his relationship with his daughter by enjoying some time together and yet it seemed that from the very beginning, everyone was doing nothing but doubting him.

He picks up his glass of water and strides past Harry, his voice low and intent, meant only for Harry’s ears.

“I’ve got this under control, I know what im doing, not my first fucking child remember.”

Yeah, this unexpected turn wasn’t how either of them envisioned starting the day.

Harry observes that the household has become relatively tranquil during the remaining time he had left before he had to leave. He berates himself for the earlier incident. He is already anxious about the meeting with Patrick and it’s all beginning to mount up. He understands it is impossible, but a part of him wishes for Louis to reconsider and attend the appointment with him. Harry also finds it challenging to witness the transformations, and Patrick had already informed him via email that the procedure will only require a few hours today and that he will receive the photographs on the same day.

As Harry readies himself to depart, he proceeds downstairs to the kitchen where Louis is engaged in the task of washing dishes. Desiring to avoid concluding their interaction on unfavourable terms, Harry approaches Louis with caution, positioning himself beside him and bestowing a gentle kiss upon his temple.

“Ive got to go now. I will be a few hours. I will be back late this evening.”

There is shuffling behind them as Delilah sits on the floor, struggling with her little slip-on shoes.

“Are we leaving now, Papa?” she asks, her voice filled with excitement.

Harry bends down to her level, opening his arms for a cuddle.

“No, Piggy, not today. You’re staying with Daddy.” he says, his voice warm and reassuring. “You two are going to spend the whole day together. How does that sound, darling?”

Delilah’s face lights up, her eyes sparkling with joy. Harry’s heart swells at her reaction, but he can’t help but notice the absence of a similar response from Louis who hadn’t bothered to watch. There is a pang of sadness that tugs at Harry’s heart, a reminder of the distance that keeps growing between them, no matter what he says or does.

“Really?” Delilah asks, and Harry smiles at hearing how her voice is filled with such hope and delight.

“Yes sweetheart. Now, give papa a kiss and I will see you later. Be good for daddy.”

She stands there, a mixture of excitement and apprehension evident in her demeanour. He notices the way she clasps her hands together and plays with her palms, a gesture reminiscent of Louis when he feels anxious.

“Love you, papa.”

🚨

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

🚨

Louis couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. If anyone were to ask, he’d jokingly claim he deserved a medal for his parenting skills today. But deep down, he knew the real reward was the joy of being a father. Today felt like a revelation, a rediscovery of the magic of parenthood.

He spent the day with Delilah, immersing themselves in simple pleasures. They ventured outside to play with a ball, Delilah’s laughter echoing in the garden as they searched for imaginary fairies among the flowers. Later, they retreated to the kitchen, where they embarked on a culinary adventure, attempting to bake shortbread biscuits together.

As the day unfolded seamlessly, no hiccups, no problems, no difficulties, Louis couldn’t help but marvel at how much he had missed, how much precious time he had missed out on. Delilah, with her boundless curiosity and infectious laughter, had shown him the beauty of the simple moments he had overlooked. She was a beacon of joy, eager to explore the world around her and soak up every bit of knowledge she could find.

God, how had he missed all this.

The endless cuddles and smiles, accompanied by Delilah’s nonsensical yet adorable stories, it all felt….perfect.

After dinner, Louis bathed her and prepared her for bed, cherishing each new moment spent together.

“I had the best day ever just with you, Daddy.”

And if Louis’ heart combusts? Then what?

He swallows the lump in his throat, fighting back the tears.

“ Me too, babygirl, me too.”

He leans in to tuck her into bed.

“But where’s Papa? He always kisses me goodnight.”

Harry.

Where the fuck was he?

Delilah’s innocent question pierces through Louis’ heart, worry creeping in. He tucks her into bed, trying to mask his concern. As he leans down, Delilah’s words echo in his mind, igniting a flurry of unanswered questions about Harry’s whereabouts. Despite multiple calls and texts, there’s been no response from Harry since he left earlier in the day. It’s now nearing 8 p.m., and Louis can’t shake the growing unease settling in his chest.

“I’m sure Papa will be back soon, sweetheart.” Louis reassures her with a forced smile, trying to hide his growing concern. Deep down, he knew something was going on, this was not like Harry at all. Harry’s absence had stretched on for far too long, and Louis couldn’t help but start to fear the worst.

By 10P.M, Louis was displaying signs of agitation and restlessness. Louis paced back and forth, his worry growing by the minute. He dialled everyone he knew, frantically hoping for a response. Liam, Zayn, Niall, Anne… none of them knew where he was. Even Oli, who was usually reliable, didn’t even answer the call.

Was his earlier display of anger towards him severe enough to warrant the silent treatment? Alternatively, had some other unforeseen event transpired? Was there a possibility that he had sustained an injury? Jesus, his mind was thrown into overdrive.

As he was unable to remain still, he continued cleaning until late in the evening, exerting every effort to keep his mind occupied. He repeated the mantra like a desperate plea: “ Harry will be home soon, he will, he will be home soon.”

By 12:12 a.m., he retracts the duvet and assumes a seated position on his bed. With his mobile device in hand, he attempts to contact Harry once again, but his efforts prove unsuccessful.

‘ Where are you baby?

🚨

7 HOURS EARLIER

🚨

There were only a few items on his shopping list, the list he had internally stored in his brain.

Bread, milk, butter, toilet paper, shampoo and Watermelon, eggs, peas and bananas.

Each item resonated within his consciousness, a recurring chant intended to maintain his concentration. Despite his best efforts, the tension stemming from his recent words with Louis persisted, and it must be acknowledged that it had adversely affected his disposition for the remainder of the day, involuntarily putting him in a bad mood.

Having said that, it was not only his minor disagreement with Louis that was affecting him. It had begun the moment he had exited their front door actually. He was halfway into his driver’s car door when he overheard old man George next door. He paused in his tracks, attempting to listen intently because it was not the fact that George was laughing, which was an uncommon occurrence in itself. It was the voice of a younger boy that captured his attention.

“ You are so funny. When can I go home though?”

Harry stood up abruptly, his senses heightened as he attempted to catch a glimpse of the pair. When he finally laid eyes on them, all he could see was a young boy, approximately 10 years old if he had to guess, who was following George into his front door. He had only seen the boy’s back, and while it shouldn’t have felt unsettling and creepy, it did.

Harry recalled a conversation with George where he was sure he had mentioned having no family.

Dismissing it as a passing thought, Harry climbed into his car and set off. But as he drove, the memory lingered, nagging at him like an itch he couldn’t scratch. Half a block down the road, he halted at a red light, the music on the radio providing a feeble distraction as he hummed along to a song as he surveyed his surroundings. He found himself wishing he hadn’t, as the sight before him only served to deepen his already weird feelings.

Yes, he understands it now. The universe is doing its work. Whether it is guilt, a sign that perhaps Louis was right, or the need to end this search now, he is uncertain. However, as he sits in the car on his way to do some shopping and meet with Patrick, he realises that seeing young boys everywhere today is affecting his conscience. Was the universe attempting to convey a message, was it truly time to abandon the search?

The young boy seated in the rear of the vehicle beside him maintains a fixed gaze upon him, displaying neither a blink nor a smile. The child with dark hair exhibits a complete lack of emotion, leading Harry to silently acknowledge his potential suitability for the role of a psychopathic child in a horror film.

But it doesn’t stop there.

As Harry parked in the supermarket parking lot, a commotion in the car next to him drew his attention. A young family had been engaged in a heated argument with their son by the trunk. The boy, visibly upset, shot Harry a hostile glare and raised his middle finger. “ What are you looking at?“ The boy had snapped, his anger palpable even from a distance causing his parents to yell at him even more.

Now, he was here. Finally at the checkout counter with everything he needed. But his mental state had reached its limit. He was simply eager to just leave this place now. It was beginning to feel as if Saxon was persistently following him, leaving him signs or clues, but he was uncertain whether the intentions were a plea to ‘ Let me go papa ’ or a request to ‘ Don’t give up on me.’

Out of his peripheral vision, he caught sight of a familiar face….Oli. He was too far away to speak to but again, he was hit with more children . Oli stood there among two other men and two kids. One was a very young female toddler, and the other was, you guessed it, a boy who appeared to be around 12 years old. He couldn’t tell for sure, as he had never been good at guessing ages, and he never did like to make any assumptions.

Harry’s emotions churned from upset to anger and back again, a whirlwind of conflicting feelings. He clenched his fists, his heart pounding in his chest as he fought the urge to shout out: “ Why the hell do I keep seeing glimpses of potential Saxons everywhere?“ It was driving him to the brink of madness.

As Harry strides along, he makes it just past the automatic doors, when he hears a familiar voice.

“Shit. Oh um, Hi, Harry.”

It takes a moment, longer than it should, for recognition to kick in, and when he turns and sees yet another boy standing there beside the adults, he musters a brave smile that quickly fades. He can’t handle this anymore. With a curt nod, he tries to shut down the conversation before it even begins.

“I’m so sorry, I’m late for an appointment. Good to see you again.” Harry apologises, his gaze flicking briefly to the boy beside them before returning. “We should definitely catch up sometime, I see.”

Because, since when did they have a kid?

Running into so many people today has been chaotic for sure, but he needs to push it all away.  He excused himself and took a few steps before turning back. The reason for this action was unclear to him, but for the first time since learning about Saxon, he felt a distinct change within himself. He felt weird, different, something in his belly burning as he glanced back over his shoulder to find the boy also looking back at him, their gazes meeting for a brief, unspoken moment.

Nope, he can’t do this today.

He quickened his pace to the car, unlocking it in record time before sinking into the driver’s seat, finally allowing himself to breathe.

“ Fuck.” He says, all but to himself.

Now, it was time to get this new picture update.

From the instant he crosses the threshold of Patrick’s office to the moment he finally arrives back home later that night, every minute feels like an eternity shrouded in a dense mental fog. Each step, each conversation, each decision, leaves him feeling overwhelmed and disoriented.

What the fuck has today even been?

It has been an absolute rollercoaster of a ride that’s what, leaving him feeling emotionally drained and exhausted. As he makes his way home, a sense of urgency grips him, driving him to hope and pray that Louis and their daughter are safe and sound, waiting for him at home.

🚨

Louis feels a mix of relief and frustration as he hears the front door creak open and  shut at 1.28am. It’s well into the morning, and sleep has evaded him, consumed by worry and unanswered questions. He could easily unleash his anger on Harry for his mysterious disappearance, for not responding to his calls and texts. Yet, a deeper intuition holds him back, a gnawing sense that there’s more to this situation than meets the eye. That gut feeling proves right as Harry staggers into the bedroom, his dishevelled appearance betraying the turmoil he’s been through.

Alcohol. It’s the first thing Louis notices. He reeks of scotch.

What you feel inside, always reflects on your face, and in this instant Harry looks like he is dying, well a part of him is at least.

Harry leans against the bedroom door frame, his posture heavy and unsteady. His body language speaks volumes of a deep emotional torment as he sags against the wood, his weight seemingly too much to bear.  His face, once filled with laughter and joy, now wears a mask of suffering, the lines etched with the weight of his agony. His gaze is unfocused, lost in a sea of turbulent thoughts and emotions. His eyes, usually vibrant and alive, now carry a distant sadness, a heaviness that seems to condemn him in ways Louis doesn’t fully understand yet. It’s as if he is trying to hold himself together, to keep from crumbling completely, but the effort is overwhelming.

As Harry stands there, swaying slightly with the rhythm of his inner pain, Louis can sense that something is terribly wrong. There’s an air of brokenness around them, a palpable ache that fills the space between them. It’s as if the very essence of Harry’s being is crying out for solace, for someone to see past the facade and offer comfort to his shattered soul within.

“It’s all my fault, I am so sorry.”

With each shaky breath he takes, Louis tries to prepare himself for whatever is coming his way.

“Harry, please.” Louis’ voice breaks through the heavy silence. “What is wrong?”

That is it. That is what breaks Harry. Those words, so simple yet so profound, are like a knife to Harry’s already shattered heart. The one sound in the world that has meant so much to him ever since they met, and now, that beautiful dialect of a wonderful human being is about to despise him in the most unforgiving manner.

“It’s all my fault.” Harry whispers again, his voice choked as he lays his hand across his mouth. He struggles to find the words to express the depth of his remorse, the agony of his guilt. “I am so sorry. Lou, please, I didn’t know, I am sorry.”

In that moment, as Harry stands there, broken and vulnerable, he knows that he is on the brink of losing the one person who means more to him than anything in the world.

Without further explanation, Louis remains none the wiser as he approaches and seizes Harry, who begins to emit a loud cry.

“Fucking hell Lou, I love you, please dont leave me! And Delilah, oh my god, I didn’t know Lou, I promise.”

Louis’ gaze flickers anxiously towards the doorway, his heart heavy with concern as he worries that Delilah might awaken at any moment, disturbed by the loud tumult emanating from Harry.

“Babe.” Louis murmurs, his voice gentle yet firm, as he moves towards Harry, his touch tender as he guides him to the edge of the bed. “Ssh, you need to quieten down.”

With a gentle hand on Harry’s shoulder, Louis encourages him to sit, to take a moment to collect himself.

“Come on.” Louis coaxes, his voice a soothing balm against the turmoil in Harry’s mind. “Take a deep breath. Whatever is happening here, we’ll get through this together but you need to talk to me, slowly and calmly. Where have you been all day?”

Harry’s internal intensity is reflected in the subtle fluctuations of his chest as he takes a few deep breaths. 

He lifts his gaze to meet Louis’, his eyes still brimming with tears, but now there’s a glimmer of resolve shining through the sadness.

“Well.” Harry begins, his voice raw. “First off, I went shopping…”

Louis nods along because yes, that was today’s plans.

Harry’s mind races as he recalls the activities of the day, each moment tinged with the knowledge of what was to come.

“…and then I went to see Patrick.” Harry continued his voice barely above a whisper. However the name feels like a weight on his tongue tonight, a reminder of the consequences he must now face.

Louis nods in understanding, his heart aching for the man before him, broken and vulnerable who then begins spitting out a hundred words a second.

“ But then…I saw something and then, I went, i went and saw someone else and then I ended up at the pub and i drank wayyy too much because i was fucking scared and now here I am and -”

“Harry, stop. Slow down, please. Rewind a bit.”

Harry rises from the edge of the bed, his movements slow and deliberate, as if every step is a struggle against an invisible force pulling him back. His hand trembles as it clutches at his chest, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt.

With a shaky exhale, Harry runs a hand through his tousled hair, the gesture more of a desperate attempt to hold himself together than a mere grooming habit. His eyes dart nervously between Louis and the floor, unable to meet the piercing gaze that seeks to unravel the secrets hidden within.

The tension is palpable, thick with the weight of unspoken words. Harry’s eyes dart nervously as if he’s preparing for the inevitable storm ahead.

In that moment, it’s as if he’s both terrified of Louis’ reaction and resigned to whatever fate awaits.

“Harry?” Louis’ voice is soft as he watches his partner’s conflicted expression.

Harry’s lip trembles as he wrestles with the weight of this revelation. Finally, he musters the courage to speak. He makes the confession, the words hanging in the air, threatening to unleash their fury.

Harry’s breath catches in his throat when he observes Louis nearly collapse, Louis whose eyes had widened in disbelief, jaw hanging open in shock. He hears the gasp that escapes Louis’ lips, a sound wrought with a type of pain only a parent would understand.

“What did you just say?” Louis’ voice trembles, his eyes searching Harry’s for confirmation, needing to hear the words again in order to believe that they were indeed real.

“I said.” Harry begins, his voice steady despite how shit scared he felt inside.

“I said I found him. I know where Saxon is.”

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

So…I know there are a lot of questions here. Where had Harry been? How did he place it all together? Why was he drunk? It’s all explained in the next chapter which is already ¼ started.

ARE YOU READY ?

NEXT CHAPTER, YOU WILL FIND OUT WHO TOOK SAXON AND WHY.

Final guesses……..

Chapter 18 - Retrieved

A/N

To each and every one of you, the moment we have all been eagerly awaiting for has finally arrived. It is time to unveil the identity of the elusive kidnapper.

In light of all your unwavering support and positive feedback I have received from all of you, I have decided to forgo my usual approach of extending this chapter unnecessarily. 🤣

Instead, I have crafted a concise and direct chapter, comprising approximately of 6,000 words only. This decision was made with the utmost consideration for your time and patience, as I understand the anticipation you have endured already.

I sincerely hope that you find this chapter to be enjoyable and satisfying.

Thank you for your continued support.

Love you all. X

Please also see the bottom Author’s note when you reach it.

(*Whispers ‘When you reach it, I said Mona1111anoM and not beforehand.) 😏

TOMMO_is_Danger

congrats to being the only one to guess the kidnapper correctly. Sorry for deleting your comment last week because it gave it away. Well done ! ♡

’ To lose pati

ence, is to lose the battle. And maybe that’s the reason why life is so precious. There is no rewind or fast forward option…just patience and faith.’

🚨🚨🚨

Louis sits in a room at the Doncaster Police Station, his expression betraying a sense of detachment. It had been years since he last occupied this space, a place steeped in memories he’d rather forget. The worn, familiar walls seemed to close in on him, bringing back a flood of unwanted recollections. Now, against his wishes, fate has returned him to this scene of past suffering. Yet, this time, there’s a glimmer of hope, a hint that things might finally be looking up.

They had arrived promptly at the station as soon as the doors opened early this morning. Despite Garcia’s suggestion for Harry to wait at home until more details were known, there was no stopping Louis who was determined to just be there.

A strong cup of coffee is placed in front of him, but Louis makes no move to acknowledge it. Garcia’s concern is showing as she exchanges a worried glance with Harry, both apprehensive about Louis’ state of mind.

“ Louis, are you sure you don’t want us to send for a medic?”

Garcia’s question might seem odd to some, but in reality, it’s standard protocol for a police officer to inquire if someone in distress needs medical attention, especially when they appear to be in shock like Louis does. This ensures the person’s well-being and addresses any immediate medical needs.

Louis remains still, his eyes fixated on the doorway, his expression unreadable. His gaze seems to search for something beyond the threshold, as if hoping to see someone walk through. Despite the commotion and movement around him, he doesn’t react, maintaining a statuesque silence. His hands rest on the table, fingers occasionally twitching, the only sign of the turmoil within him. The room buzzes with low conversations and the shuffle of paperwork, but Louis remains an island of stillness, his attention unwavering from the door.

“Harry?” Garcia prompts, glancing between Louis, the entrance, and back at Harry.

Harry offers a slight smile. “I think he’s alright.” he says softly. “Just give him a minute.”

Garcia tries to engage Louis in conversation, but it feels more like she’s speaking directly to Harry as she explains the situation outside.

“The media is building up quite a scene out there.” she begins. “Cars, vans, journalists, and locals are all congregating. News of the breakthrough in Saxon’s case has spread like wildfire.”

Louis remains silent, his eyes still fixated on the doorway, unmoved by the bustling activity outside. Garcia and Harry exchange a look of shared concern, understanding the gravity of the moment. The room is filled with an undercurrent of tension, the weight of recent revelations pressing down on everyone present.

As she speaks, Louis’ attention drifts, his eyes drawn to the glass windows overlooking the busy hallway. There, Reign stands amidst a flurry of movement, his phone pressed to his ear, surrounded by a team of officers swiftly moving about. The current environment is characterised by a sense of urgency, reflecting the seriousness of the external circumstances.

Garcia updates them on the situation, emphasising that they’ve completed all necessary checks and are now ready to act on the information they’ve gathered.

“With the details you shared yesterday Harry, our next steps were very clear.” she explains. “ But for the time being, and I am sorry, we need you both to just remain patient and wait.”

When the pair are once again left alone, Harry sits down beside Louis, uncertain of the reception he’ll receive. Louis turns to him, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“I can’t believe this is happening.”

Louis’ words were so quiet, eerie almost. 

“I know you kinda filled me in earlier, but with everything happening so fast and—” Louis pauses, his eyes pleading. “I’m gonna need you to clue me in again, H. How did this all come to light?”

Harry wants to reach out, to comfort Louis in the way he knows he needs, but he hesitates, feeling the need to tread carefully. Instead, he picks at the corner of the table, avoiding eye contact.

“Just don’t hate me, okay?” he murmurs. Taking a deep breath, he begins to explain.

“It all started when I kept seeing kids everywhere, it was like a warning of some sort. But the real moment of truth came when I sat down in Patricks office. When I finally got to see the updated picture, well, it kind of all went into fast motion from there. “ Harry begins. “I took one look at the photo and knew I’d seen that face before. It was like a punch to the gut. I realised I’d seen our little boy in person, not in photos but in real life and I hadn’t even known it at the time.”

Louis’s eyes widened, absorbing the significance of Harry’s words. Harry can see the way Louis’ lip is quivering as he listens.

“I couldn’t believe it at first.” Harry continues, his voice wavering slightly. “But the moment I made the connection, everything started falling into place. I knew we had to act quickly, and that’s why we’re here now.”

Louis gulps and averts his gaze. While he does not appear to be expressing anger, he does not seem particularly pleased either. It is difficult to discern the precise emotion that is currently affecting him, at least until he resumes speaking that is.

“Why didn’t you call me straight away? When you found out, why didn’t you call me immediately. That’s my son H. You should have called me. I can’t fathom why you wouldn’t have called me.”

It’s pain, pure and simple. That’s what it is, he can see it now; Louis is hurting deeply. How can Harry explain this without coming off like a douche?

Harry begins by recounting how he fled from Patrick’s office in a rush and headed straight to the police station. As he speaks, he paces the room, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He explains how he was tempted to call Louis numerous times but had refrained.

Louis stands abruptly, running a hand through his hair as he processes Harry’s words. “I’m still confused.” he says, crossing his arms. “Why didn’t you call, Harry? Don’t you think I deserved to know? Me, of all people, deserved a call at least.”

Harry pauses, rubbing the back of his neck. He feels a wave of guilt wash over him, the weight of his decision hanging heavily between them. He moves closer to Louis, his eyes downcast.

“I know, of course you did, I just, I felt like an ass last night and I still do. I should have told you.” Harry admits, avoiding eye contact. “But I wasn’t sure, Louis. I didn’t want to give you false hope. I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure. But believe me, I wanted to call you every single second.”

Louis takes a deep breath, looking out the window for a moment before turning back. “I get that you were trying to protect me, but it’s just… this is all a lot to take in.”

Harry nods, reaching out to place a hand on Louis’ shoulder, hesitant but sincere. “I know. And I’m sorry. I just wanted to be sure before I said anything.”

They stand there for a moment, the tension slowly easing, both trying to decipher how this night is going to unfold.

“I was scared, Lou. You had just told me you wanted to move forward, to put Saxon in the past and focus on Delilah. The last thing I wanted to do was call you and say, ‘ Hey, I think I may have seen Saxon today, ’ only to find out I was wrong. I didn’t want to upset you. It wasn’t an easy choice to make, trust me. I just didn’t want you hurting all over again if this turned out to be nothing. I’m sorry.”

Louis sits there, his mind racing with unresolved questions. The more he thinks about it, the more puzzled he becomes. First off, why was Harry so apologetic when he arrived home? And second of all, he is attempting to recall the context in which Harry thinks he initially recognized Saxon. Which boy was it?

Louis shifts in his seat, leaning forward slightly. “Go on.” he urges, needing clarity.

Harry continues, recounting how he spent hours explaining everything to Detective Reign, including why and who he thought had Saxon. He detailed his entire trip, from seeing the kids in the car, to the ones in the supermarket, and even the boy next door. This information prompted Reign to dispatch officers to visit George, just to formally rule him out. It turned out the boy was indeed George’s grandson. So, George wasn’t just a grumpy old man—he was also a grumpy old liar. The police knocking on his door certainly hadn’t done Harry any favours in trying to keep the peace with the neighbour, that’s for sure.

“So, which boy was it?” Louis asks.

Harry stares blinking twice before responding.

“The boy at the supermarket. I ran into him, but I was in such a hurry to leave after everything that had happened, I just brushed it off at first. When I saw him, I felt something, Lou. It was an odd feeling, like a stupid wish, you know? Like, I wanted to believe it was him so badly that I convinced myself it was. Even now, I’m still not sure if it was real.”

“Then why all the apologies?”

“What?”

“ Last night, when you came home. You kept saying sorry.” Louis immediately gets concerned with how Harry switches tune. He watches as Harry nibbles his lip.

Harry is nervous because this is the part that truly scares him.

“Because if the boy I saw is our son…”

He exhales sharply.

“Then Saxon’s abduction wasn’t a random act. The people he was with, Lou—I know them…very well in fact.”

Louis frowned not knowing what to make of that.

Harry is waiting for more questions, a confrontation even but nothing amounts.

Unsure and hurt as he tried to process the words he had just heard, confusion and exhaustion weighed heavily on Louis, compounded by feelings of nausea, nervousness, and a pounding headache.

Nothing seemed to make sense to Louis. He felt emotionally drained, like every word is coming in one ear and going straight out the other without truly registering. Harry knew he would have to wait until everything came to a head, until Louis was more self-aware and capable of understanding the situation, to explain things properly.

With a resigned nod, Louis offers no verbal response, indicating to Harry that his words haven’t quite sunk in. Recognizing the lack of impact, Harry falls silent, allowing the room to once again descend into an unsettling silence. For now, they just have to keep doing what they have been doing all day.

Wait.

Wait.

And Wait.

🚨  

When Harry had first presented to the police station seeking out Garcia declaring he had vital information, it was Detective Reign who had assured Harry that he’d done well, indicating that they had now gathered sufficient information to proceed with appropriate actions. However, it was clarified that immediate results should not be expected. There were numerous phone calls to be made, documents to be signed, and higher authorities to be notified. It was all going to take time. 

It was suggested that he should go home and wait. Harry accepted this and had started to make his way home, but halfway there, guilt gnawed at him. Unable to bear it, he had veered off towards the pub. He felt an overwhelming sense of shame and stupidness, and he decided not to rush to tell Louis what he’d discovered.

Harry had sat at the bar for a long time. He had ordered a drink, trying to drown out the nagging thoughts. He felt so guilty. The thought of seeing Louis and possibly giving him false hope was too much but at the same time he wanted nothing more than to let him know they might have a legit lead.

He found it hard sitting there, unsure of what to do. Every time his phone rang Louis’ photo popped up on the screen, and that certainly didn’t make it any easier.  He knew he was being a jerk by not answering, but he honestly had no idea what to say, too scared of what might come out of his own mouth. So, he decided not to rush home. Nothing was official until he heard from Reign in the morning anyway, and he needed this time to process everything on his own.

As he nursed his drink, Harry replayed the events in his mind, the encounter at the supermarket, the boy’s face. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Tomorrow would hopefully bring answers, but tonight, he just needed to get through it somehow, but the thought of losing Louis kept driving him to pour another drink. Because Louis was surely going to paint him as the one to blame when he finds out the truth, that he was positive on.

🚨 

They had been sitting at the police station all day, waiting for any news. Delilah had been dropped off at Louis’ mothers house at the crack of dawn and was currently safe and sound, but that was the only comfort Harry could cling to. The hours dragged on, each one feeling longer than the last. Louis sat beside him, unnervingly silent, his eyes fixed on some distant point.

Harry glanced at Louis repeatedly, his concern growing with each passing minute. Louis’ quietness was unsettling, a stark contrast to his usual demeanour, and it scared Harry more than he wanted to admit. He tried to offer small reassurances, but they felt hollow in the heavy silence.

They waited, and waited—waiting was all they seemed to do now. Harry’s mind raced with possibilities, fears, and the gnawing uncertainty of what news might come. He wanted to reach out, to break through the silence that enveloped them, but he felt frozen, just as trapped by the wait as Louis was.

Suddenly, the station became hectic with activity, cop cars pulling up outside, lights flashing, people moving quickly. The quiet they’ve endured all day is shattered by a flurry of chatter. Garcia, who had been discreetly checking in on them periodically all day to see if they needed anything, finally opened up the door. 

“Let me fill you in on what’s been happening.” she begins, ready to share the developments that have come to light.

This was it.

Had Harry made a colossal mistake, potentially undoing all the progress in Louis’ mental health? Or, after enduring so much heartbreak over all these years, were they finally on the verge of receiving news about their son, was Saxon alive and well?

Garcia steps into the room, her expression reflecting the empathy she has consistently demonstrated over the years. However, this evening, there appears to be an additional nuance in her eyes, leaving Harry uncertain whether it signifies positive or negative developments. She takes a deep breath before addressing him.

“Louis, Harry.” she begins, “We got the go-ahead last night. Officers were dispatched in London to the residence of the suspect.”

Louis closes his eyes, his shoulders sagging as he braces himself for the news. His hands subconsciously grip the edge of his chair, knuckles turning white. Harry sits beside him, his gaze fixed on Garcia, waiting for her to continue. The room feels charged with unspoken tension, every second stretching into an eternity as they await the next words.

The frenzy outside intensifies, drawing everyone’s attention. The noise from the media is almost deafening—shouts, camera shutters clicking, and the hum of broadcast vans create a cacophony of sound. It’s 6:30 p.m. now and although darkness has settled in, neither the media nor the local civilians have budged. The sudden surge in noise suggests that something significant is happening outside.

Harry begins to rise from his seat, intent on peeking out the window, but Garcia quickly stops him.

“Please, stay seated and listen to me closely.” she urges, her eyes locked on his.

Garcia takes a deep breath before continuing, her usual confidence faltering slightly.

“After gaining an immediate search warrant, the suspect’s house was raided and searched from top to bottom.”

She pauses, her words catching in her throat. This hesitation is unlike her, and it sets everyone on edge. Louis’ leg bounces nervously as he still finds it difficult to make eye contact. Harry believes he is internally preparing for the worse, bracing for whatever is to come next. Garcia takes another breath, visibly struggling to find the right words.

She abruptly shuts the file in front of her, her expression turning serious. “Harry, can we speak privately outside for a moment?”

Louis doesn’t like the sound of that as his eyes snap over to her, then towards Harry. “What the hell, why?”

Caught in the crossfire once again, Harry feels torn between protecting Louis and trusting that he’ll be okay. He glances back and forth before reaching out his hand to rest in Louis’ lap.

“Whatever it is, you can say it in front of Louis. I have nothing to hide.”

Garcia reaches down and switches off her walkie-talkie, silencing the static that had been interrupting their conversation.

“Alright.” she begins, her tone serious. “Before I reveal any further details about Saxon, there’s something else we found during the search of the house.

“Mr Styles, I had wished to speak with you directly about this because it involves you personally.”

As Louis listens intently, clinging to every word, he begins to sense the looming possibility of an emotional breakdown, one where he might completely fall apart.

But he has been here before, having encountered similar situations in the past. He now derives strength from his previous experiences, feeling both stronger and braver. If he has to relive another temporary setback, he is determined not to lose his sense of self this time.

He feels he is ready, he can allow his mind and body to break if it needs to, but he won’t lose the shattered pieces of himself this time. He will put himself back together with ease, because he can’t afford not to. This resilience is not meant for his own well-being but purely for the sake of Delilah.

“In the locked basement, hidden behind metal filing cabinets, we found some troubling evidence in a hidden room.” Garcia explains solemnly. “Apart from the Saxon case, Harry, there’s proof of intense stalking. He was obsessed, from the very beginning.”

Garcia’s words hang heavy in the air as she continues. “There were pictures of you plastered all over the walls Harry, and even some of you, Louis.” she pauses, clearing her throat. “Although yours had your eyeballs gouged out, and darts placed on every photo. Additionally, there were articles of Saxon scattered everywhere.”

She takes a moment before delivering the final blow. “We also found his laptop, which contained some pretty disturbing material.”

“Oh, um… like what?” Harry asks softly, terrified of the possible answer, the one he hopes it isn’t.

Garcia takes a deep breath. “Let’s just say there are many, many photos of you taken without your knowledge. He also had a YouTube account. Does the name ‘AlwaysHornyForHarry’ ring a bell?”

It takes a brief second for it to register with Louis, a little longer for Harry.

“I do.” Louis says, his voice tight. “It’s the user who always leaves vulgar comments on our videos, the one I once questioned you about, H.”

“This is fucking crazy.” Harry mutters, standing up to pace the room, his stomach churning with unease.

Louis, visibly shaken by the revelation, turns back to Garcia with a mixture of fear and urgency in his eyes.

“ And Saxon? Wait… hang on, what was this man’s name?“ he asks, his voice trembling.

“What?” Harry says, his voice rising in panic.

“The fucking psychopath stalker, Harry—who is it?”

The room falls silent, everyone exchanging confused glances. They had told Louis this information last night, but it’s clear now that he has been too distraught to remember any of it. Garcia exhales, ready to repeat the crucial details.

Garcia opens her mouth to speak, but Harry cuts her off, raising his hand like a schoolboy in class.

“May I?”

Garcia, taken aback, nods. “Yeah sure, go ahead. I’ll step out and give you a moment.” She says. “There’s something else I need to finalise before I come back anyway.”

Garcia nods to Louis, who watches her leave the room. The moment the click of the door is heard, Louis’ gaze alone has Harry nearly wanting to retreat and cower in the corner.

“Tell me, now.”

Harry moves over to the window, leaning heavily against the cold glass, unable to meet Louis’ gaze.

“We told you last night.” he begins, his voice strained. “You obviously blocked it out, and—”

“Harry, stop stalling. Who is it?” Louis interrupts, his voice edged with desperation.

“Do you remember the first night we met? You looked so soft and cosy in your comfort clothes, so desperate and eager to have a drink. God, the moment I laid eyes on you in the liqour store I fell in fucking love, I swear.”

Harry turns slightly, his eyes filled with sorrow. Louis had been expecting a direct answer, but unexpectedly, Harry had begun to reminisce instead.

“ Harry-”

“ No, please let me finish.”

“You know, when I found out we had a son, I can’t describe what it did to my heart. I know these years have been incredibly tough on you, and tonight is going to be just as hard. I’ve spent so long trying my hardest to find our boy. At first, I even thought old man George had Saxon.”

Louis frowns, shaking his head.

“Look, I know the old prick is an asshole, but remember the key word there, H—old. There’s no way he could have planned and executed an abduction.”

Harry moves to sit back beside him, lowering his voice. “At one point, I even thought it might have been Oli.”

Louis scoffs in disgust, his eyes widening. “Are you kidding me? There is no way. How could you even think that, seriously?”

Harry gently holds Louis’ hands. Louis senses that it is coming, he is about to find out everything. Harry is visibly nervous, with beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

“It’s Christopher, Louis. Well Chris for short, Chris Hemmings.” he finally says, his childhood friend’s name now sounding bitter as it rolled off of his tongue.

“Who?” Louis replies instantly.

“Do you remember when I took you to that old abandoned hotel and I magically picked the lock?”

Louis nods in acknowledgment, recalling the memory vividly.

“Well, I didn’t pick it. I had sent him a message and got Christopher to plant the key and set up the room while we walked there. After we parted ways and you left that night, I stayed back to return the key. Louis, I’ve known him my entire life. I don’t understand all of this myself yet. I thought he and I were friends. I am so sorry and -”

A knock at the door interrupts the conversation, and Garcia pushes it open just enough to allow her head in.

Garcia’s demeanour is composed, her voice steady as she addresses the pair.

“Are we all good to continue?” she asks, her gaze sweeping over each of them. “I have some further updates.”

The three of them all move to sit down, and it doesn’t go unnoticed at how Louis subtly shuffles his chair a little away from Harry. Though no words accompany the movement, the distance stings nonetheless.

Garcia braces herself, a sense of tension building, as she anticipates that things are about to escalate.

“Mr Hemmings was detained last night and was just now transferred here. The commotion you heard outside was his arrival, he was brought into the building.”

Harry’s reaction is immediate and explosive. His blood boils at the news, and Garcia quickly nods to her officer at the door, who steps in front of the entrance to prevent Harry from racing out. Louis remains motionless, his face a mask of shock.

Harry is on a rampage as he begins yelling, demanding the guard to get out of his way. “Move! I need to see him!”

Garcia, her concern evident, steps between Harry and the door, trying to talk some sense into him. “Harry, you know I can’t allow that, let us handle this.”

With Harry making a scene and Garcia trying to settle him, Louis slowly turns his head towards the window where the media frenzy continues making a ruffus outside.

But Louis’ mind is fixated on one thing and one thing only: Saxon.

“What about the boy?” Louis asks, his voice almost drowned out by the chaos.

When no one responds, his frustration boils over. He stands up abruptly and shouts.

“HEY!”

The room falls silent, everyone turning their attention to Louis. His eyes are fierce, his desperation palpable.

“ What about the boy, is he um, is it my son?”

Temporarily ignoring the question, Garcia unlocks her phone and brings it to her ear. “If you’re free now, you can join us. Okay, see you soon.”

She then turns to face Louis with deliberate caution. “Detective Reign will take over from here. He should be here any second.”

The wait isn’t long—barely a minute passes before Reign strides in, carrying a thick folder brimming with paperwork. He sets it down with a thud, ready to dive into the details.

Detective Reign appears more professional than usual, his stance almost intimidating. Louis can’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable, the formality of it all adding to his unease.

Reign looks tired, his eyes shadowed with exhaustion, and in desperate need of caffeine.

Detective Reign clears his throat, flipping open the thick folder and glancing at its contents.

“There are several things we need to discuss.” he begins, his tone measured and serious. He looks directly at Harry before settling on Louis. “First, I want to confirm that I’ve spoken with Christopher, last night and again today. He has confessed to everything. This makes life a little easier for us. Our team is already building everything we need in order for a court hearing.”

Louis’ breath catches, and Harry leans forward, the tension in the room thickening.

“Christopher is facing multiple charges.” Reign continues. “Kidnapping, stalking, and various other offences. He admitted to orchestrating Saxon’s abduction and has provided detailed information on his motives and actions over the years.”

Reign pauses, allowing the gravity of the situation to sink in.

“We’re still piecing together the full extent of his activities, but it’s clear that his obsession ran deep. This isn’t just about Saxon—there’s a history of stalking and harassment aimed at both of you.”

Louis feels a wave of nausea wash over him, while Harry’s fists clench in anger. Reign’s words confirm their worst fears, but they also bring a sliver of relief: at least now, they’re closer to understanding the nightmare that’s engulfed their lives.

“We’re coordinating with various agencies to ensure we have all the evidence we need for a solid case. In the meantime, we’ll need your cooperation to piece together any remaining gaps.”

He looks at both of them with a hint of compassion.

“I know this is overwhelming but I do have some boring important stuff to go over. Like, here, the potential charges we are putting forth to the judge will mostly likely include-”

Reign flicks forward two pages and starts reading slowly, making sure both parents understood what was being said and allowing any time for questions.

“ Kidnapping , obviously. Also, since the kidnapper confined the child against their will without legal authority we are also adding false imprisonment . Being that the child was taken from the comfort of their parent and their safety and wellbeing going undetermined, child endangerment is also added in.”

Re-adjusting himself in his chair, Reign uses a hand gesture to signal to an officer stationed outside the room, requesting a cup of coffee to keep him focused as he continues.

“Since the perpetrator, Mr Hemmings, engaged in a pattern of behaviour intended to cause fear, emotional distress, and/or a danger to you both, this includes following you and monitoring your activities, we have also added stalking .

Louis’ expression shifts to one of mortification and confusion.

“Hold up. Are you saying someone was following us? When? For how long? he asks incredulously.

Reign glances at Garcia, who quietly informs him that she hadn’t yet disclosed that information.

“Right, well, from what we know so far, Christopher has been watching you, Louis, from the very beginning. During a brief interview with one of my colleagues, they explained that Chris had mentioned that he actually met you face-to-face, though you just didn’t realise it. He first introduced himself when you were heavily pregnant. According to him, you were walking around the building he owns in London, searching for Harry. You had stopped him and described Harry to him. He remembered that Harry had hooked up with you that night, and when he saw your belly, he put two and two together. From that day on, he began following and watching you.”

Reign clears his throat, casting a brief glance around the room to ensure everyone is following along, that they are all on the same page.

“Now, it’s still under investigation and much more needs to be addressed, but it seems the motive for taking Saxon, in Chris’ mind, was based on the notion of, ’ If

I can’t have Harry, then at least I can have a part of him.“

Louis begins to hyperventilate, his breath coming in rapid, shallow gasps. Garcia reaches across the table, gently patting his hand.

“Deep breaths, Louis. I know this is hard.”

But it’s funny, how even though no one says anything and definitely nothing was implied, all eyes seem to naturally navigate in Harry’s direction and all of a sudden he feels the shame. 

Louis can’t hold back any longer. He stands abruptly and begins pacing, his voice rising with each word.

“So, you’re telling me that the reason MY son was taken FROM ME is because some sicko had an unhealthy crush on his father? Because some LUNATIC had no chance with HARRY, he decided to take an innocent little boy away from his family in order to, what, satisfy his own twisted fucked up fantasy? This is insane, absolutley fucked up. Fucking hell, I can’t breathe.”

Overwhelmed, Louis doubles over, clutching his belly. One hand instinctively covers his mouth as he rushes to the bin, where he empties the contents of his stomach.

After wiping his mouth and murmuring an apology, Louis hesitantly returns to the table and sits down. Meanwhile, Harry has moved to beside the window, quietly observing outside.

Reign clears his throat and resumes where he left off.

“As I was saying, we have also added cyberstalking . However, even though he had not threatened either of you via email, or other electronic means, he did make communication via the internet when making those accounts to comment on all your videos. Some of those disgusting comments will be looked into further and used in conjunction with other evidence.”

Harry, still lost in a trance, absentmindedly nibbles on his thumbnail while Louis, seated at the table, shakes his head repeatedly, utterly appalled by what he’s hearing.

“We’re also collaborating with our legal team to explore the possibility of adding Criminal Threats to the charges. If the perpetrator made any threats or displayed physical harm towards the parents or the child, we can include that as well.”

Louis furrows his brow in confusion as he speaks up.

“But that didn’t happen though.” he states.

Reign glances at Garcia and then back to Louis, signalling that he can proceed after receiving confirmation.

“At present, we don’t have confirmation if the child he had in his care was indeed injured or threatened.” He explains. “If you recall, Mr. Tomlinson, blood was originally found on the scene at the playground. Additionally, and last but not least, we’re also considering adding Emotional Distress to the charges. Parents can potentially file a civil law suit for intentional infliction of emotional distress, although I’ll provide more details on that one later.”

Garcia’s phone rings, and she swiftly accepts the call, nodding and humming for a few seconds before hanging up. She goes to speak, but Louis beats her to it.

“Detective, what about the boy? So it’s confirmed it is Saxon? If Chris has confessed to all this, then it’s him, right? Definitely him. Is he okay? Is he hurt? Where is he, when can I see him?”

God, the desperation in Louis’ voice was heartbreaking, enough so that it drew everyone to look at him.

Reign raises his hand, signalling a need to slow down.

“Look, I’m going to be upfront with you. I understand you’re eager for answers, but there are a lot of procedures that need to be followed here. This won’t happen quickly. There are many steps we need to take.”

Waiting .

It’s all he has ever done. For minutes, for hours, days, weeks, months, YEARS.

“Okay” Louis replies, his voice flat, and Reign can’t help but feel for him, seeing the deflation in his posture.

Trying to offer some clarity, Reign continues. “A lot is happening, and it’s hard to keep up even for us. But here’s what I can tell you: the moment the boy was taken into our custody last night, he was brought to the local hospital in London.”

“Hospital?” Louis’ voice cracks with worry.

Garcia gives him a reassuring look, hoping to calm his fears. “Let him finish.” she insists gently.

“ Yes, but its procedure. Upon retrieval of the young lad, and in accordance to protocol, the child must, by law, first be taken to a safe location, typically a hospital, to undergo a thorough medical examination. This is to assess their physical health, check for any injuries or signs of abuse, and address any immediate medical needs. A doctor will conduct a comprehensive physical examination. A mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, will begin assessing the child’s psychological state in the next few days or so. Currently, I can assure that the boy was treated overnight in London.”

Harry, still not having entered the conversation yet, glances at Louis, who remains resolutely distant. His eyes flick to Reign.

“Was he alright?”

The pain in Harry’s voice is unmistakable, mirrored by the tears welling in both their eyes.

“From what I’ve been told, yes. The boy is healthy and appears perfectly fine. Upon arriving at the hospital, one of the first tasks after the initial examination was taking a DNA sample. This was rushed through the system last night and was compared to the blood sample we found at the scene the night he disappeared. I can confidently confirm that the boy we have in our possession is in fact your son. Keep in mind, this is typically a long process, but…”

Reign smiles, then points over Louis’ shoulder with his index finger.

“It’s with great pleasure, that I am honoured to tell you both, that right there, right there on the other side of that wall, sits Saxon Tomlinson.”

The reaction is imminent as Louis turns towards Harry and throws himself into his chest with a thud. He sobs uncontrollably, and for a split second, Harry relaxes. He gently runs his hand up and down Louis’ back, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of his head in an attempt to comfort him.

“We did it, sweetheart. We found him.” Harry whispers, trying to soothe Louis, but it only makes him cry harder.

He mumbles into Harry’s chest.

“I can’t wait to see him, to hug him, to really look at him. Oh my God, Harry, I can’t wait to take our boy

home

.”

🚨🚨🚨 

A/N

😭😭😭😭😭

P.s

Don’t go thinking that now Saxon is back, it’s all rainbows and butterflies. There is still much to unpack. The story is far from over, because what happens when Saxon finds out? Does Saxon remember Louis? How will both react when they come face to face?

Questions questions and more questions, but don’t worry I have all the answers 😉

And, thoughts on the chapter?

Chapter 19 - Reunion (2)

A/N

This takes off from the last chapter.

Now, there is a lot of boring info I had to put in this chapter regarding the procedures Larry need to follow in order to get Saxon back. Now I have explained them in detail. However, I have time jumped over them “completing” it, in order to save time. Otherwise this story will end up being 300 chapters. 🤣

Sorry I know those parts are boring but I really needed to explain them all, so you understood the time frame it took and the extent of how hard it was to prove themselves.

🚨🚨TRIGGER WARNING🚨🚨

This chapter delves into the procedures of child protective services (CPS) . If you are triggered by child separation or the law system for fighting to get children back into your care, please read with caution or skip chapter.

Also please note, I am not a professional in this field of work. All info was sourced from google and was used in conjunction to the way I needed it to work in order for it to fit my story. Therefore “facts” and “info/ procedures/ times” are not 100% accurate.

🚨

’ Our journey apart was just a chapter in our lives. A reunion will sure mark the beginning of a rocky reconciliation, but a very beautiful ending…one can only hope.’

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

Reign had just received a massive folder from an officer, providing him with more information on the case. Louis was relieved to hear that progress was being made, but it all seemed to be happening so quickly.

Louis requested that Reign reiterate his previous statement at a slower pace and in a manner he could better understand. The excessive use of complex terminology was causing confusion and hindering his ability to grasp the significance of the information being conveyed.

“Sorry. Let me rephrase it all for you. So, here in the UK, if a child has been missing for years and is then found, there is a detailed process to ensure the child’s well-being and to facilitate the reunion with their parents. Hmm, alright let me break this down into steps for you.”

However, Louis maintained his focus on Reign, determined in his commitment to executing each step with precision, because he was prepared to undertake any necessary actions to ensure the safe return of their son. Normally, Louis would feel stupid to have someone talk to him this way. However, under the present circumstances, he finds it rather comforting. If only Harry could refrain from casting anxious glances in his direction every few seconds and focus on the task at hand, it would be even more beneficial.

“So, first up is a medical examination, but we have already been over this. Health check was all good. There were no signs of abuse or neglect. The mental health evaluation as I also stated before will be undertaken soon. A psychologist or psychiatrist will evaluate the child’s mental state to identify any psychological trauma and immediate mental health needs. Now…”

Reign rifled through his folder, searching intently for a specific document. After a few moments, he sighed and stopped, realising it wasn’t there.

“It appears that I do not currently have this information available and I will need to consult with another colleague to obtain the details, but I can confirm that Saxon has been placed in protective custody. To the best of my knowledge, he will temporarily reside in a residential care facility designed for emergency situations with one of our most trusted organisations. There he will stay until further notice.”

Should that comfort Louis? Is it supposed to? Because it doesn’t. Or maybe it does, but the sting remains, knowing his boy is alive, safe, and well, yet still out of reach.

This mix of relief and anguish painfully reminds him just how close, yet so far, they are from being reunited.

“In regards to counseling and support, Saxon will receive ongoing counseling to help him process the trauma of the abduction and adjust to his new situation. Additionally, there are legal and welfare assessments that need to be done. For example, a Social Work Assessment will be conducted. A social worker will evaluate the child’s situation, including his needs, the circumstances of his abduction, and the best interests of the child moving forward. Meanwhile, our Police Investigation will continue to gather evidence and build a case against Mr. Hemmings.”

Reign clears his throat, uncertain of how Louis and Harry, particularly Louis, will respond to this next part. It is not something any parent enjoys hearing, but it is essential, and Louis must cooperate in order to proceed to the next phase.

Ahem.

“Parental Contact and Preparation for reconciliation will consist of a Parent Assessment.”

He doesn’t even pause to allow either parent to object. He keeps talking, eyes focused on the paper in front of him as if reading from it, though due to this line of work, he has these procedures already memorised by heart. In reality, he despises that someone like Louis has to endure this legal bureaucracy to reclaim his own child. So, he rushes through the rest of the explanation without stopping for a breath, determined to get them through this ordeal as quickly as possible.

“Social services will assess you both to ensure you are capable of providing a safe and supportive environment for Saxon. Regular reviews will be conducted by children’s services starting from now, to assess the progress of the reunification process and make necessary adjustments to the care plan. This means an assessment will take place once we have the go-ahead.”

Reign can hear the frustration in Harry’s voice as he inquires about the specifics of the “parent assessment.” He observes the manner in which Harry commences utilising his index finger to engage in the act of picking at his thumb, the subtly contained tension evident within his posture.

The detective takes a moment to gather his thoughts, aware of how painful this all is. One glance at Louis and Reign can see how he has drifted off into blank space. It isn’t that he isn’t listening, because he is. It’s just that, he and Louis can now both see the massive hurdles they need to jump in order to hug his own flesh and blood and it hurts.

Just spit it all out, Reign internally reminds himself. He takes a deep breath, steering ahead.

“Alright, let me just lay it all out for you.” he begins. “I know this is incredibly difficult, and I’m sorry, but I’m going to give you all the details. If at any point you need me to stop and clarify something, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“The parental assessment involves a comprehensive evaluation by social services. This includes the following.

Safety and Stability: An inspection of the home to ensure it is safe, secure, and suitable. This includes checking for potential hazards and ensuring the home is clean and well-maintained. The overall living conditions will be assessed to ensure there is adequate space, facilities, and resources to meet the child’s needs.“

Harry quietly commends himself for the foresight of the addition of the new room. It appears that the request/demand he made to Louis when Delilah was born has proven to be beneficial after all.

“Financial Stability: We will evaluate your income sources, employment status, and ability to provide for the child’s needs. This ties in with financial management, where we will review your ability to manage finances effectively in order to consistently support a child. Parents may need to provide documentation, such as proof of income, employment records, and medical reports to support the assessment process.”

Besides Reigns’ voice, the room is so deathly quiet.

“Emotional and Psychological Readiness: We will assess whether the parents are emotionally stable and capable of providing the necessary support to the child. Evaluating mental health and parenting skills will include things such as your ability on how to respond to the child’s emotional and psychological needs, especially considering the trauma the child has experienced.”

And shit .

There is a sudden shift in the room as Louis leans forward, his hands covering his face. “Fucking hell.” he mutters, just loud enough for Harry to hear. Harry doesn’t need to ask; he knows exactly what Louis is worried about.

Would he be ready? Is he ready? Can he cope? Is he a good parent? He just hopes they dont ask Delilah. They wouldn’t question a four year old, right? RIGHT?

The list just keeps going on and on, and Louis is already swimming, no drowning, inside his thoughts because, can he do this? He is beginning to question everything as he listens to Reign keep pumping out more and more “requirements” that he now isn’t sure he will even meet.

“Support Networks: Identifying the parents’ support networks, including extended family, friends, and community resources is important to ensure a robust support system for the child’s reintegration and ongoing care. From what we already have on record, you are well-prepared in this department. Lots of family around, that is good. However, there may be an issue with your father, Harry, but let’s deal with that when the time gets closer.”

Great.

Another issue for Harry to feel guilty about, and for Louis to no doubt blame him for.

“We will be conducting background checks on you both to ensure there are no criminal records or history of behaviour that might pose a risk to the child. This will include reviewing any previous involvement with social services to identify any concerns or issues that might impact your ability to care for him.”

Taking a brief interlude, Reign cracks his knuckles and stretches, providing a momentary respite not only for Harry and Louis, but also for his own vocal cords.

“Any questions so far?” Reign asks, glancing between the anxious parents.

Louis is quick to respond, though his voice is low. “How long until I see him?”

Garcia, who has been silent up to this point, smiles warmly. “He’s getting to that part soon. Not much longer, I promise.”

Reign continues on, and Harry begins to focus a bit more intently, taking charge of the situation as he senses Louis becoming overwhelmed. Reign proceeds to discuss in further detail other topics they will have to cover including:

Understanding the child’s needs by ensuring that the parents understand the specific needs of the child, including any special care or therapeutic requirements resulting from the trauma of the kidnapping.

Preparedness for Reunification: Assessing the parents’ preparedness for the reunification process, including their understanding of the challenges that might arise and their willingness to engage in ongoing support and counseling.

Commitment to the child’s well-being: Evaluating their commitment to prioritising the child’s well-being, including their willingness to cooperate with social services and mental health professionals.

He further explains how interviews and home visits will work. Social workers will conduct multiple interviews and home visits to gather comprehensive information about the parents’ capabilities and living situation. Based on the assessment, social workers will compile a detailed report with their findings and recommendations regarding the suitability of the parents for reunification.

A Multi-Disciplinary Review will be conducted. The assessment report is typically reviewed by a team, including social workers, psychologists, and legal professionals, to ensure a thorough evaluation.

If the assessment is deemed positive, a detailed reunion plan is developed, outlining the steps for gradually increasing contact and eventually returning the child to the parents’ custody.

This thorough assessment process is crucial to ensure that the child’s return to their biological parents is in their best interest and that they will be safe, well-cared-for, and supported through their recovery and reintegration.

Unfortunately before that final step can be taken, a list of others are also added in. This is the part Louis wanted to know the most.

“Saxon will be gradually informed about his kidnapping and his biological parents in an age-appropriate manner. This will be done with the help of a psychologist to minimise additional trauma.”

Everyone present can hear the soft intake of breath from Louis. He was aware that Saxon would need to be informed, but hearing Reign verbalise it made the situation feel all too real.

“Then, supervised visits will begin.”

“Supervised!! Jesus Christ, this is all starting to sound like I’ve been the bad guy here, trying to make myself better in order to see my child again. Why the fuck does it feel like im being punished here! I wasn’t the one who kidnapped him, remember!”

Harry reaches out to Louis upon hearing his outburst, but Louis swats his hand away.

“Don’t touch me!” he snaps.

It’s been an incredibly long night and day for Louis, who is visibly exhausted. Reign knows he needs to wrap this up as quickly as possible.

“There are just a few more things to go over, and then we’ll be done for the night.”

Louis takes a deep breath, then nods.

“Sorry, please continue.”

Clearing his throat, Reign begins to quickly cover the remaining points.

“These visits would be facilitated by a social worker or therapist to ensure they are positive experiences for the child. The aim of these visits is to help the child and parents gradually build a relationship and for the child to become comfortable with their biological parents. As the child becomes more relaxed, the frequency and duration of visits with the parents will increase. This process is carefully monitored and adjusted based on the child’s needs and responses. Once all professionals involved agree that it is in the child’s best interest, the child will then be formally returned to the custody of their parents. A support plan would be put in place to ensure ongoing support for the child and the family. This might include regular visits from a social worker, continued access to counselling, and other necessary resources. Both the child and parents would likely have access to long-term support services to address any ongoing issues resulting from the abduction and reunion process. This process is designed to prioritize the child’s safety and well-being, ensuring a careful and supported transition back to their biological family.”

“My god.” Louis mumbles, not impressed at hearing all this.

If only Louis were to summarise today’s briefing alone to an outsider, he would express his emotions with limited words, potentially shedding tears.

Reign is currently experiencing a state of discomfort, feeling bad for having to deliver all this news.

Harry continues to feel a profound sense of guilt.

While Louis…well…he was feeling a surge of nothing but anger.

🚨

They all stepped out of the room that had seemed to have swallowed them for the last 24 hours, the weight of every conversation still ringing in their ears. As they entered the corridor to leave, Louis, who only managed a step or two, froze. Just turning the corner ahead, he spotted the back of a boy with hair that looked achingly familiar-same shape and style, only thicker with slight curls, a boy much taller than he remembers.

His heart leapt into his throat. He grabbed Garcia who was next to him, who provided him with a confirming sad smile as he quickly placed a hand over his mouth to stifle the instinctual cry threatening to escape. The need to call out to Saxon was overwhelming, but he knew he couldn’t disrupt the delicate procedures unfolding.

Harry, noticing the sudden halt and the intensity in Louis’ eyes, followed his gaze. The realisation struck him as well, and he placed a reassuring hand on Louis’ shoulder. They both stood there, breaths held, watching as Saxon disappeared around the corner, each fighting the urge to run after him. This was a crucial moment, and they couldn’t afford to jeopardise it and already, this was all proving harder than they had initially imagined.

Garcia, understanding the gravity of the situation, gave Louis a nod, silently acknowledging his restraint. Louis’ eyes remained fixed on the spot where Saxon had just been, heart pounding with a mixture of hope, fear, and an outpour of love.

Reign had just concluded outlining the protocol, the one they needed to adhere to in order to reclaim their son and one might assume it would have been as straightforward as just returning him, but that was simply not the case. There are numerous formal regulations that must be implemented first and both Harry and Louis are now ready to do whatever it takes to get their son back. And it all started….this very moment.

But, first and foremost, it is crucial for Harry to engage in a timely and meaningful conversation with his partner. It is understandable that Louis may be experiencing a range of emotions upon learning the news about Chris, and it is important to address this matter with sensitivity and empathy. Harry, can hope that the guilt he has been feeling isn’t a sign of more trouble to come.

🚨

The car ride home is steeped in an uncomfortable silence, the air heavy with unspoken words and lingering tension. Harry grips the steering wheel tightly, glancing sideways at Louis, who is staring blankly out of the window. The only sounds are the hum of the engine and the occasional shuffle of the tires against the road.

Within the first two minutes, Harry attempts to break the silence, his voice tentative. “How are you feeling?”

But Louis is quick to shut it down. Without turning to Harry, he pulls out his phone and dials. “Hey Lottie, can you please put Mum on the phone quickly?” he says, his tone clipped and urgent.

Harry sighs, his shoulders slumping slightly. He knows better than to push any further, choosing to focus on the road ahead.

The car continues its awkward journey home, the silence stretching on. Louis keeps his phone pressed to his ear, not on speaker, but Harry can still make out Lottie’s voice faintly from the other end of the line.

“Lou, Mum’s not here.” Lottie says, her voice tinged with concern. “She just raced off to the shops to get some bread, but don’t worry, Delilah is fine and already in bed.”

Louis nods, even though Lottie can’t see him. “Alright, Lotts. Just tell Mum to call me back when she can, okay? It’s important.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I just really need to speak with her. Just get her to call me.”

“Will do, Lou. Take care.” Lottie responds, before the call disconnects.

Louis lowers the phone and stares out the window again, lost in thought. Harry, having overheard the conversation, glances over.

As the car moves through the dimly lit streets, Harry finally breaks the silence again, desperate to clear things up.

“Louis, we need to-”

But Louis interrupts him, his phone already at his ear. “Hey Oli. You are not going to believe this.”

Harry gets the message loud and clear and refocuses on the road, letting Louis fill Oli in on the wonderful news.

Minutes later, and after he has hung up from Oli and nearing their home, Louis’ phone rings again. Seeing “Mum” on the screen, he answers quickly.

“Mum, hey.”

On the other end, Jay’s voice is filled with worry. “Louis, what’s going on? Is there any news? Lottie said you needed to talk.”

Louis takes a deep breath, his voice trembling. “Mum, mum listen to me, they found him. They found Saxon. He is here mum, right here in Doncaster. There’s a lot to do before seeing him, but mum…..”

Louis can’t finish that sentence because of the way he starts to excessively cry, and how badly Harry wishes to reach out and hold his hand.

A pause, and then Jay’s voice floods with relief and joy. “Oh, Louis! That’s wonderful! Are you okay? Where is he?”

Tears stream down Louis’ face as he responds, his voice breaking.

“He’s safe. We haven’t seen him officially yet, but he’s safe. Lottie said Delilah was asleep already, do you want us to pick her up or-”

“Don’t be silly. She’s fine here, baby. Go home and celebrate.”

Louis wants to let out a bitter laugh as he wipes away at his eyes, thinking ’ Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.’

“Okay. Thanks.”

Jay’s tone softens with understanding.

“Just know we’re all here for you sweetheart. Call me with updates or if you need anything, alright? And gosh darling, I am so happy, so so very happy.”

“Me too, Mum. And thank you for everything. I will call in the morning. Give Delilah a big kiss for me alright, love you.”

“Love you too, Louis.”

They pull up in the driveway, the car coming to a silent stop. The house looks dark and quiet, a stark contrast to the whirlwind of emotions inside the car. Harry parks and turns off the engine, then looks over at Louis, who is still wiping away tears.

They exit the vehicle without a word, the weight of the past 24 hours pressing down on them both. Louis strides ahead, his steps hurried and determined, while Harry follows a few paces behind, his face etched with concern.

Louis pushes open the front door, glad to be home but also anxious too as the tension with Harry spikes now that they are alone. The revelation of Harry’s stalker, the gruelling process to reclaim their child, the realisation that their journey is far from over, and the brief heartbreaking glimpse of Saxon-all of it has left him feeling drained. His exhaustion is palpable, and every step feels heavier than the last.

Harry walks inside, closing the door quietly behind him. He watches Louis, who moves with a frantic energy, almost as if he’s trying to outrun the turmoil in his mind. Harry wants to reach out, to say something, anything, but the words stick in his throat.

Louis heads straight for the living room, collapsing onto the couch. He leans forward, his elbows on his knees, burying his face into his hands. The room is too silent, the only sound is the ticking of the clock on the wall.

Harry stands at the doorway, torn between giving Louis space and the overwhelming urge to comfort him. He takes a hesitant step forward, then stops, unsure of what to do. The tension between them is thick, a tangible reminder of everything they’ve been through.

Louis’ shoulders begin to shake, and Harry knows he’s crying. The sight breaks his heart, and he crosses the room quickly, sitting down beside him. He reaches out, placing a tentative hand on his back.

“Louis.” Harry whispers, his voice soft and full of regret.

Louis shakes his head, not lifting his face from his hands. “I can’t, Harry. I just… I can’t right now.”

Harry’s hand drops to his lap, his own eyes filling with tears. He feels helpless, unable to ease Louis’ pain. They sit in silence for a long moment, each of them having lots they want to say, but no energy to say it.

“You hungry? I think I’m going to fix a sandwich.”

Finally, Louis lifts his head, his eyes red and swollen. “No, I just need to sleep.” he says hoarsely. “I need to shut off for a while.”

Harry nods, understanding. “Okay. Let’s get you to bed first then.”

Louis stands, his movements slow and tired. Harry follows him up the stairs, staying close but giving him space. Once they’re in the bedroom, Louis collapses onto the bed without bothering to undress. He curls up on his side, facing away from Harry.

Harry watches him for a moment and disregards the notion of food, before quietly undressing and slipping into bed beside him. He doesn’t try to hold Louis, knowing that right now, all he can do is just be there.

But as they lie there in the dark, the events of the past day replay in Harry’s mind, over and over and over.

He should have gone back down to the kitchen, he should have refrained from speaking, and waited until the morning to discuss the matter. However, Harry went and did it anyway, he chose to address it immediately, unaware of the potential consequences of what his words would bring forth.

“Lou, we need to talk. This whole Chris thing-” Harry begins, his voice hesitant, but Louis snaps, as if all the tension he had been holding back finally unleashes. He throws the duvet off and jumps out of bed, his face flushed with anger.

“IS WHAT? YOUR FAULT? YES, YES IT IS! MY SON WAS TAKEN BECAUSE OF YOU. ALL OF THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE OF YOU. SAXON WAS TERRIFIED BECAUSE A STRANGER GRABBED HIM, AND THE PAIN IT CAUSED ME-YES, HARRY, FORGIVE ME IF I’M A LITTLE MAD THAT THE REASON I DON’T HAVE MY CHILD IS SLEEPING IN THE BED RIGHT NEXT TO ME.”

Harry opens his mouth to respond, but Louis cuts him off, his voice trembling with rage and sorrow. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to know your child is out there, scared or alone, because of something related to YOU? To see him again after all these years and still not be able to hold him, and tell him everything is going to be okay?”

Harry’s face falls, guilt and regret poised in every line. He leans forward, trying to reach out to Louis, but Louis backs away, his eyes burning with unshed tears. “I’m sorry, Lou. I thought-”

“You thought what?” Louis interrupts, his voice breaking. “That everything would just be fine? That we could pretend like nothing happened, that nothing was said tonight, and that this entire kidnapping didn’t stem from being all about YOU? Well, guess what, Harry? It did happen, and now we’re living in this nightmare because of it.”

And…Ouch.

A palpable tension permeates the atmosphere, as the burden of their collective anguish and resentment exerts a profound psychological pressure.

Louis turns away, running a hand through his hair, trying to gather himself. “I can’t do this right now.” he mutters, his voice raw as he gritted his teeth.“Just…leave me alone.”

There is an old saying that implies: ’ If you speak when you are angry, you will make a speech you will regret. “ And how true that is. But just because somebody hurts you, it does not justify deliberately hurting someone back.

Harry rises to his feet, his movements slow and cautious, scared-like. He shakes his head back and forth, the motion filled with a simmering annoyance. He is upset and deeply hurt, the pain clear in his eyes.

Why is it that in these situations we retaliate? Is it simply because we often hurt those who love us the most and then deeply regret it? Tonight is one of those nights. The regret that follows is always profound, and this evening is no exception.

Anger, tears, overwhelmed, confused, anxious, guilty, and exhausted. It’s a volatile mix for the both of them.

“No, you are right.” Harry says calmly. “It is my fault. It IS all about ME, isn’t it, Lou? But let’s face it. Please, tell me again why YOU weren’t watching Saxon at the playground that day, Louis. Hmm? Oh yeah, that’s right. YOU were looking at ME on Instagram. Isn’t that what you once told me? You saw MY face, lost the picture and got distracted. Too busy looking at ME to pay attention to OUR son, correct Louis? So yeah, it is all MY fault, right?”

And so as a friendly reminder, one that both Harry and Louis need to hear, is that You should never say something permanently hurtful just because you were temporarily upset.

Louis stands there, his eyes glistening with tears, and softly croaks out a reply.

“Fuck you, Harry.”

Louis turns and rummages through their clothes cupboard, hunting in the bottom drawer where their pants and jeans usually reside.

“Lou.” Harry’s voice trembles, full of pain.

Louis ignores him, turning around and slamming the ensuite door behind him. Harry hears the water start to run and sits heavily on his side of the bed. He knows how hard the whole Chris situation is on him, but now he can’t help thinking that maybe ’ It’s not my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong.’

Harry collects his pillow and heads down stairs, knowing that if he stayed there any longer things would further escalate and that was something he didn’t want. Tonight, it had gone too far, and now he regrets it all.

Later that night, Louis lays in bed, but no sleep is getting done, just an abundance of tossing and turning, unable to find any semblance of rest. Every time he closed his eyes, the scene replayed in his mind-the harsh words he flung at Harry, the look of pain in Harry’s eyes. He realised his mistake, the words he never meant to say. He feels horrible, guilt clawing at his insides. He hates that he made Harry feel the way he did. He saw the hurt in those eyes, shit, he almost physically felt Harry’s pain.

It’s 4:58 AM now, and he still can’t sleep despite how tired he felt earlier. The guilt remains, each tick of the clock amplifying his remorse. The knowledge that Saxon is in the same town but just out of reach doesn’t help either. He’s overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness, knowing that his son is so close yet so far. The fight with Harry isn’t sitting right; it festers in his mind, an open wound that won’t heal. He can’t relax until he fixes this. He currently hates himself for being an ass to the one person he loves dearly.

Louis’ thoughts race. He thinks about how Harry has always been there for him, supporting him through the darkest times, and now how he’s pushed him away….again. The weight of his actions presses heavily on his chest. He knows he needs to make amends, to apologise and try to make things right. The anger and frustration that had fueled their argument now seem trivial compared to the love and commitment they share. He wants to fix things, to hold Harry and tell him he’s sorry, but the fear of rejection paralyzes him for a little longer.

Finally, unable to bear the silence and the crushing guilt, he swings his legs out of bed collecting his dressing gown. He quietly makes his way downstairs to where he knows Harry will be curled up on the lounge. As he reaches the bottom of the stairs, he sees Harry right where he thought he’d be. But tonight, Harry isn’t snoring like he normally would be. He isn’t moving but he isn’t making a sound either, so he must be asleep. He stands there for a moment, taking in the sight of the man he would move heaven and earth for.

Louis drops the dressing gown and gently pulls back Harry’s blanket, manoeuvring himself to slide in comfortably, finding a way for them to fit perfectly together on the lounge. He carefully drapes the blanket over both of them, feeling the warmth of Harry’s body next to his.

Nestling close, he wraps an arm around him, his touch soft and tentative. Harry stirs slightly and Louis uses a second to breathe in the familiar scent of his partner. His deodorant, his breath, god even his sweat. The weight of the past few days, the arguments, the anxiety, and the longing, all seem to melt away just a little as he holds Harry close.

“I’m sorry” Louis whispers, more to himself than to Harry, his voice barely audible in the quiet of the night. “I’m so sorry.”

He closes his eyes, hoping that the morning will bring a chance for forgiveness and healing. For now, just being close to Harry, feeling his presence and warmth, is enough to ease the ache in his heart.

“I’m sorry too, baby.” Comes from Harry, who opens his eyes and it’s clear he hasn’t been to sleep either. “I didn’t mean anything I said. I really didn’t. I was just hurt and-”

“No, please don’t. I am the one who needs to apologise. You did not deserve any of that before. I love you, Harry, and what I said earlier was not how I truly feel. I am feeling a bit emotionally drained at the moment. If anything, I am forever indebted to you for finding our son. I am deeply sorry for treating you the way I did. Please forgive me.”

Harry gently uses his hand to move a piece of Louis’ hair out of his eyes.

“Actually, it’s the other way around you know. I was, still am, and will always be in debt to you, Lou.”

Louis, confused, gently whispers, “Why?”

Harry leans forward and pecks his lips softly. “For providing us with those two beautiful children.”

Louis laughs.

“Have you said that to me before, I have the feeling you did.”

“ Probably. It’s still true though.“

Louis stops laughing and leans closer, his forehead gently resting against Harry’s as he snuggles as close as he can get.

“I don’t blame you, Harry, for any of it. I promise I’m not mad at you, darling. It’s just… it’s…”

“I am to blame, though. I’ve laid here thinking about it non-stop. You were right, it is all my fault. Chris he… fuck Lou, him taking Saxon away from you was because of me.”

“No, it’s not. You didn’t lead him on, you didn’t encourage him in any way. You didn’t know he was messed up, H. And you certainly didn’t help orchestrate a kidnapping. You are not to blame, baby. And I don’t for one second believe you are at fault. I just…”

“Need some time.” Harry finishes.

“Yeah, I guess. It’s a lot to process and I just need to let it settle in properly. I just need to sort some stuff out in my head. With everything Reign said and knowing now our son is alive and well. It’s a lot.”

True understanding in a relationship comes from genuine empathy and the willingness to walk in each other’s shoes. When both partners understand the importance of give and take , their relationship can flourish and withstand any challenge.

Harry lets his lips linger on Louis’ forehead, pressing a soft and meaningful kiss.

“I know.”

He gently adjusts the blanket, pulling it up around Louis’ shoulders.

“Sleep, sweetheart. We can discuss it later on.”

Fortunately, the previous four years have seen both individuals develop the ability to identify and halt arguments before they get too out of control. Now would be the time and would also serve as beneficial, if they could also develop and master the crucial skill of thinking before speaking.

🚨🚨 2 DAYS LATER 🚨🚨

“When can I see him? That’s all I want. I just want to see my boy, just one proper look.” Louis pleads, his voice breaking.

It’s been four days since Louis learned of Saxon’s return, four excruciating days filled with endless questions and restless nights.

The waiting is becoming unbearable for Louis as he sits there, anxiously twiddling his thumbs. Today, he finds himself once again at the police station, a place that has unwittingly become his second home all over again. The sterile walls and the distant hum of conversations have become all too familiar once more, a painful reminder of the ongoing struggle to bring his family back together. Louis’ eyes dart around the room, taking in the surroundings that have become a backdrop to so many intense memories.

With bated breath, he eagerly awaits the impending news, fervently hoping that this day will herald a significant breakthrough.

Reign sighs, looking through his phone.

“We have been over this many times, procedures, remember.”

He’s silent for a moment, his face a mask of concentration. “Alright, look, sit back and hold tight.” he finally says, standing up. “I need to be somewhere. I will be back soon.”

Louis watches him leave, the door closing behind him with a soft click. The room feels even emptier now, the minutes dragging by like hours. He paces back and forth, glancing at the clock every few seconds, willing time to move faster.

An hour and 28 minutes later, the door opens, and Reign walks back in. He has a small but worried look on his face, his eyes meeting Louis’ with a seriousness that makes his heart skip a beat.

“Follow me.” Reign whispers.

He follows Reign down the hallway and around a few corners, noticing that this part of the station is unfamiliar to him. The walls are a muted grey, the lighting dimmer than the rest of the building. Louis’ heart races with each step, anticipation and anxiety mingling in his chest. Reign comes to a stop and turns to face him, checking over Louis’ shoulder and then behind himself to make sure they haven’t been seen.

“This is the best I could do.” Reign says in a hushed tone. “And you only have a few minutes.”

Reign opens the door, revealing to what Louis initially thought was a dark room. But how badly he was mistaken. Louis hesitates, glancing at Reign in confusion and disbelief. Reign offers a gentle smile. “I won’t be long.” he says before stepping back and closing the door behind him.

Louis stands there, frozen. He takes a deep breath trying to steady himself. He manages to take a step forward, then another, his breath quickening with each movement.

“Oh my god.”

As he inches closer, he reaches out a trembling hand and rests his palm on the two-way mirror, his face mere inches away. He raises his other hand on the glass also, wishing that now, more than ever, that he could just reach through.

Because…there he was.

The room is bare, except for a simple wooden table and two chairs. The walls are painted a dull institutional beige, typical of police stations, but the lighting is so bright and harsh, making the space feel even more sterile as he focuses more on Saxon who sits at the table all alone, his posture slightly slumped, clearly looking exhausted and scared…Or maybe he is just bored…He can’t tell anymore.

He looks older, more mature than Louis remembered, as if all this time Louis had believed that time had stood still. It breaks his heart because it hadn’t, and he can see that now. So much of his child’s life had slipped away in a flash, leaving behind a void with no memories to cherish and preserve.

For a moment, Louis is too overwhelmed to move. He just stands there, hand pressed against the glass, as if trying to bridge the gap between them with sheer willpower. He drinks in the sight of Saxon, noting every detail-the way his hair curls slightly at the ends, partially obscuring his face. His features are unmistakably those of the younger son he remembers though, hair like Harry’s, green eyes still sparkling like his too.

Louis’ eyes fill with tears, his heart aching with that of joy and sorrow as he examines the way he sits with a slight hunch, as if the weight of the world is on his young shoulders. But something is there, Louis can feel it, buried behind his facade is a quiet strength in his eyes, one that speaks of experiences that no child should ever have to endure.

“Saxon.” he whispers, even though he knows his son can’t hear him. “I’m here. I’m right here sweetheart.”

Saxon looks up, as if sensing his dads presence. It felt like their eyes met through the glass, and for a moment, Louis panics thinking whether Saxon can actually see and hear him. Louis can see the confusion and hope in Saxon’s eyes, mirroring his own. He watches as Saxon stands and walks closer to the mirror, his movements hesitant and unsure.

“No.” Louis whispers. “ He can’t see you, it’s fine. He didn’t hear you.“

But love is a powerful thing, a parent and child bond is forever. No, Saxon didn’t see or hear him, but he could feel and sense something. Something that had been missing in his life but not quite ever forgotten.

Louis’ heart aches with a fierce longing, the barrier between them seeming insurmountable. But in this moment, just being able to see Saxon, to know that he’s alive and well, is enough. It’s more than he’s had in years.

Reign’s words echo in his mind: “You only have a few minutes.” Louis knows he has to make every second count. He places his forehead against the glass, closing his eyes for a split millisecond as tears roll down his cheeks.

When he opens his eyes again, Saxon is right there, on the other side of the glass, their faces almost touching.

The two-way mirror that separates them feels almost invisible under the pull that’s trying to drive him closer, giving Louis the illusion that he is only a breath away from his son.

Louis smiles through his tears, his heart swelling with love and pride.

“I love you.” he mouths, hoping Saxon can sense it. “I love you so much baby boy.”

For those precious few seconds, they remain there, separated by glass but connected by their hearts. Louis knows it’s not enough, but it’s a start. And for now, that has to be enough, he has no choice.

The young man’s gaze meticulously scans the reflective surface before he resumes his seated position back at the table.

He begins to fidget slightly, his fingers tapping an absent rhythm on the table, a habit Louis recognizes from his toddler days. He watches every subtle movement, noting the way Saxon occasionally glances around the room, his expression a mixture of curiosity and wariness.

Louis presses his hand more firmly against the glass, desperate to get closer. He takes in every detail-the way Saxon’s shoulders rise and fall with each breath, the slight furrow in his brow as he seems lost in thought, the exact same way Harry does.

Fuck it hurts.

The room is so quiet, a stark contrast to the turmoil in Louis’ mind. He imagines the countless moments they’ve missed, the years of birthdays, holidays, and everyday joys that were stolen from them. But right now, in this small room, Louis focuses on the present, on the miracle of finally seeing his son again.

Louis’ heart swells with that of joy and sorrow, the overwhelming need to hold Saxon in his arms clashing with the harsh reality of their separation. He watches as Saxon turns towards the door opening.

The chair scrapes softly against the floor as Saxon stands and walks closer to an older woman Louis doesn’t recognize.

“I want to see my dad. When can I go home?”

And shit.

Louis realises he can hear everything in the room. He’s listening in real-time to Saxon’s voice, a voice he hasn’t heard in so many years. His heartbeat picks up as he listens. He sounds so much like a younger version of himself and shit, he can’t stop the tears.

“Let me out of here. I already told you everything. You said I only had to come back in here today to tell you how I was feeling and I did that. Now I want to see my dad.”

Louis smiles, his heart swelling with joy at the thought that Saxon wants to see him just as much as he does.

The older woman, whom Louis now assumes must be Saxon’s newly assigned therapist, gently urges him to sit back down.

“Saxon, we have been over this. I am very sorry but seeing your dad right now is out of the question, remember.”

Saxon grows increasingly agitated, his voice rising as he begins demanding answers.

“WHERE IS HE. TAKE ME TO HIM NOW!”

The woman’s face softens as she leans closer to him.

“Today I am going to explain to you why you cannot leave. I can’t take you to him Saxon, because he is currently being held by the police.”

It hits Louis hard, sharp and fast.

For right there and then, no one can feel the rawness and visceral nature of what it meant to be in “pain” more acutely than Louis. For pain is not merely a word, but rather an all-consuming inferno that rages relentlessly within, a fire that isolates and engulfs, leaving this individual feeling all alone.

Because Saxon didn’t want to see Louis; he wanted Chris. It’s Chris, he is calling ‘dad’ and is desperate to see.

Pain: A highly unpleasant physical sensation caused by illness or injury. That’s what the dictionary says anyway. But what if the pain comes directly from the heart? No illness, no injury, just pure, excruciating pain radiating from your chest. A pain so intense you can’t breathe, can’t move, can’t do anything. It feels like you’re being torn apart, broken down fragment by fragment in the blink of an eye.

Clasping his mouth, he sobs uncontrollably. But, as if fate had intervened to save him, the door beside him bursts open. Detective Reign, looking visibly stressed, strides in.

“Out. Now.”

Reign grabs his arm and quickly guides him out and down the corridor. Louis struggles to keep up with Reign’s large strides, his legs barely cooperating. They reach the front of the station, where Reign pulls him into a regular interrogation room.

“Shit, I am so sorry, Louis. You should not have heard any of that.” Reign says, visibly flustered. “I got caught up dealing with Constable Wakefield. Oh god, you are a mess. I shouldn’t have allowed you in there. I truly apologize, I-”

Reign is disrupted and thrown off guard as Louis lunges forward and hugs him tightly. Over the years, they’ve gotten to know each other well, but never has Louis hugged him like this, with such raw emotion, like a proper friend.

Louis pulls back, wiping his face, his expression full of gratitude.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Reign holds him by the bi-ceps.

“He is a lovely boy, confused and shaken, that’s all. Your time will come, I promise you.”

Somehow, that reassurance was enough for Louis. He took a deep breath and smiled. Not a fake smile, not a sad smile, not an ’ I’m okay, but I’m lying’ smile, but a real, genuine, hopeful, and happy one.

🚨

With Reign telling him to go home and wait for any further details, Louis doesn’t argue. He feels drained now and overly tired.

“ Just breathe .“ He whispers to himself before pushing open the door. It’s harder to leave the police station than usual. He has an officer beside him trying to guide him out, but the crowd is surrounding him, and it’s overwhelming, all screaming for Louis to answer their questions. By the time he manages to reach his car, he takes a moment to sit and recall all his boy’s features.

Today, he had seen his son.

It’s the only thing replaying over and over in his mind. As he starts the engine, his thoughts drift to Harry and how he wished he had been there today.

Harry had stayed home with Delilah since it was a ‘pupil free day’ at kindy. After the tension of the past few days, Harry felt it was best to stay back, knowing there wasn’t much they could do at the police station anyway. But for Louis, being there was necessary, it’s where he needed to be, so he returned there and waited, and honestly, thank god he had.

🚨 2 MONTHS LATER 🚨

Over the last eight weeks, Harry and Louis have grown stronger than ever. They united seamlessly for every meeting, interview, and task that needed their attention, presenting a united front at all times. Each challenge was faced together, as one. They held each other through sleepless nights, offering comfort and support when “problems” threatened to overwhelm them. Times got especially tough when Harry’s dad became an issue, but even then, they stood side by side, reinforcing each other’s resolve. Their bond, tested by adversity, only deepened with each passing day, proving that together, they would overcome anything.

Given the severity of his father’s convictions, the authorities held the belief that he posed a potential threat to the children. This concern extended not only to Saxon but also now to their younger child as well. In order to maintain their fight for parental rights to their son, both Harry and Louis were required to execute legal documentation affirming that Harry’s father would have absolutely no involvement in their lives and would be kept at a significant distance from both Saxon and Delilah if he were to ever be granted parole.

Harry actually smiled at signing that form.

Louis had also commenced his own counselling, which reflected positively on his character. Although he initially enrolled with the intention of creating a favourable impression, he discovered a genuine enjoyment in the process. He appreciates having a listening ear around, surprisingly, he has even acquired valuable knowledge and insights. Believe it or not, he had actually leant a thing or two.

All the housing visits were successfully passed with flying colours, with Harry possibly going a bit overboard with excessive cleaning the nights before the inspections. However, it all worked out in their favour, and that is what truly mattered.

Nevertheless, what had truly prompted Louis’ nerves and anxiety was the day they were sat down to discuss their parenting. They were initially interviewed separately and then together, and to Louis’ astonishment, their accounts and anecdotes about raising Delilah were consistent…that was until they requested to speak with their little girl.

Given that their daughter was a minor, she was not permitted to be “interviewed” alone. After repeated assurances that they would simply engage in a friendly conversation with her, they were informed that neither of them would be allowed to be present either. Since Jay was occupied with her other children who were unwell, Harry had contacted Anne, who graciously agreed to attend and help out.

Anne had spent a total of thirty-three minutes inside the secluded room. Despite being instructed otherwise, she went on to relay to Harry and Louis every little detail of the conversations that had taken place.

Little Miss Delilah Styles faced a barrage of questions, skillfully woven into playful activities by the counsellor. Anne was instructed to sit nearby with a book, explicitly told to avoid making eye contact with her grand-daughter. This measure was put in place to ensure that Anne couldn’t unintentionally influence Delilah’s responses.

When a young child is being interviewed by a counsellor to determine the safety, responsibility, and care provided by their parents, the approach needs to be gentle, age-appropriate, and designed to make the child feel safe and comfortable. The counsellor would use open-ended and non-leading questions to gather information about the child’s home environment and experiences.

When Louis heard Anne explain the different avenues of questions, he was flabbergasted. Things, such as information on her general well-being and daily routines were raised, asking questions such as “ Can you tell me what you do in the morning when you wake up?“ And “ What do you have for breakfast and who makes it for you?“

They asked about her safety and comfort in her home environment, pushing questions like “ Where do you sleep? Can you tell me about your bedroom?“ And “ Do you feel safe at home? What makes you feel safe?“

The questions consistently kept coming, covering topics about:

Basic Needs and parental roles and Responsibilities.

-“ Who takes you to school or daycare?“

-“ Who reads you stories or puts you to bed at night?“

-“ Who helps you when you’re hungry or thirsty? And “ What happens when you feel sick?“

They dug to find answers about her relationship with her parents.

-“ Who takes care of you at home?

-“ Who do you go to when you feel sad or scared?

When they asked Delilah about discipline, she looked at the counsellor with confusion. She was generally well-behaved and rarely got into trouble. So when they posed questions like “ What happens when you do something that Papa or Daddy doesn’t like? “ they didn’t receive a straightforward answer.

Anne later recounted that Delilah had giggled and told the counsellor:

“ Umm, well daddy rolls his eyes a lot, but mostly at Papa when he isn’t looking, especially when Papa buys me too many things. Ooh but one time, Papa smacked Daddy on the bum in the kitchen, but it must not have hurt because Daddy didn’t say ‘ouch’ he just smiled. Is that what you meant? Because Papa and Daddy don’t smack me, but Daddy must have been naughty, I reckon. Do you think?“

It required a great deal of self-control for Anne and the counsellor, who had exchanged a brief, knowing look, to maintain their composure and refrain from laughing.

But the questions still kept coming, the worst ones within the last batch, the ones hitting the hardest.

Communication:

• “ Do you talk about your day with anyone at home? Who listens to you?“

Feelings about family dynamics and perceptions:

• “ Do you like being at home? What do you like most about it?“

• “ Is there anything that you don’t like about being at home?“

Family Members:

• “ Who makes you laugh the most in your family?“

• “ Is there anyone in your family who makes you feel worried or scared?“

Those were answered nicely. But the very last conversation Anne relayed to Louis was the one that broke him down in tears. It was also the one that had made Anne squeeze her eyes shut tightly and pray fervently to the gods above, hoping that whatever words Delilah used in her answer would be enough to satisfy the counsellor.

When Anne told Louis about it, she could see the heartache in his eyes. As she recounted the words, Louis felt an overwhelming wave of anxiety, fearing for the outcome of such a critical question.

Activities and Play:

• “ What do you like to play and where? And who plays with you?“

Harry had been holding his breath. It used to be just Harry and Delilah until recently. Children being children, one can never predict what they might say. Would Delilah reveal the truth about Louis’ inconsistent presence, both physically and emotionally? Or would her young mind only recall the recent memories of Louis’ increased involvement? Could Delilah’s response potentially influence the counsellor’s decision?

They had explained to Anne prior to starting the interview that the counsellor would use a child-centred approach, incorporating the following techniques:

Play-Based Interaction. Engaging the child in play to make them feel at ease and more likely to open up. The use of Visual Aids was also adapted via utilizing drawings, toys, or dolls to help the child express herself and describe their experiences. The last promise was that of reassurance and comfort. That they would provide constant reassurance and create a comfortable environment to reduce any anxiety the child may feel.

The goal of these questions were to gather insights into the child’s daily life and interactions with their parents without causing additional stress or fear. The information obtained helps child protective services assess the safety and suitability of the home environment for the returning child.

“My papa is my best friend. He always plays with me, all the time. Barbies, toys, and he paints my nails. Papa takes me everywhere. I love playing with papa.”

Anne recalls that the counsellor noted all this before gently probing further.

“What about Daddy? Does Daddy play with you and take you places too?”

That was when her little face changed. Her smile disappeared, and she lowered her head.

“Delilah?”

Her beady little eyes met the counsellor’s as Delilah picked up one of the soft teddies on the floor.

“Daddy, well, we play at home a lot. He doesn’t take me to many places. Daddy must be scared of the playground; he won’t let me go there, not even with Papa sometimes. I think he’s worried I might hurt myself on the swings or something, but I keep telling him I’m a big girl now. I can do it. I’m not a baby.”

That was the moment Anne had shed a tear. Louis had been excessively protective of Delilah, scared about repeating the same age-old mistake. Consequently, the playground had been declared indefinitely off-limits, no matter what.

The counsellor also became silent, understanding the significance and sensitivity of why the playground was an issue.

“ But my daddy loves me. He loves me this much.“

Delilah stretches open her arms as far as she possibly can.

“He tells me everyday and night. But you want to know a secret?”

The counsellor smiles and plays along.

“Oh yes, I love secrets. I won’t tell anyone.”

And oh, the irony of that untruth, considering everything this child said was going into a report for EVERYONE to hear.

Delilah leans in whispering in her ear. Although her definition of whispering isn’t that good, as Anne overhears it.

“I love him wayyyy more.”

And just like that, Delilah, unknowingly had saved Louis.

When Louis inquired about Delilah’s well-being during the process, Anne responded with a smile and assured him that Delilah had been well-behaved, appearing and sounding relaxed. Subsequently, when Harry sought Anne’s opinion on the overall outcome of the interview and whether she thought they had successfully passed, Anne responded candidly with a shrug and stated:

“ I genuinely do not know, but I sincerely hope it was sufficient.“

🚨 9 DAYS LATER 🚨

The detective had called yesterday asking Louis and Harry to pencil in some time to pop into the station for a chat. Now, it’s very early in the morning but Reign is not surprised to see them both walk through the doors the moment the station opens.

“Thank you for coming in. I wanted to let you know that all the necessary tasks have been completed. All reports have been submitted, and all interviews are now done. I do apologise for how long this process has taken. I know you’ve both been waiting patiently, but there were some issues on Saxon’s side of things.”

Reign notices Louis about to ask the question and continues anyway, already anticipating what he’s about to say.

“He is alright. He’s just still coming to terms with a lot of stuff. He’s had a couple more counselling sessions and is starting to open up more. He’s a very polite young lad, I have to say. He’s mature for his age, but understandably, he’s confused, hurt, and angry. Like you, he’s dealing with a lot of emotions and is worried about how his life has been uprooted.”

Harry’s brows furrow as he feels Louis take hold of his hand. The anticipation is almost too much to bear, and Harry is desperate for answers. Had all their hard work from the very beginning and up until now finally paid off?

“Did we pass?” Harry blurts out, his voice quick and urgent. Louis’ head snaps towards him, surprise mingling with hope.

“The whole protocol thing.” Harry continues. “The interviews, the inspections. Did we pass?” He asked again, and boy was the anxiety and desperation top notch.

“To answer your question, I was informed only an hour ago that-”

Harry interrupts Reign, who is on the verge of informing them of their evaluation results.

Had they passed?

“Wait.” Harry says, all eyes zoning in on him. He lets go of Louis’ hand and shakes it, trying to get some release. “Darling, you really have to stop squeezing my hand so hard, Jesus.”

“Sorry, I’m just really nervous.” Louis says, managing a tense smile.

“What can I help you with, Harry?” The detective asks.

Harry looks puzzled.

“Oh… No nothing, I just needed the circulation back in my hand.”

Louis actually swats his chest.

“You little shit.”

Reign actually laughs, a sound so rare that Louis is taken aback, swearing that it’s the first time he has ever heard that noise.

With a smile still lingering, Reign clears his throat. “ Alrighty then. Well, I do have some good news. You’ve passed all the inspections.“

Louis’ face lights up with pure joy. He turns to Harry, pulling him into a quick kiss. The relief is palpable, their lips conveying a thousand love felt words.

Louis quickly turns back to Reign, his eyes filled with nothing but gratitude and no amount of thank you’s that would ever be enough.

“When can we see him?” he asks eagerly, his voice trembling, because, was this all really happening?

Reign pretends to ponder a little, the biggest smile on his face growing.

“Hmm, how does tomorrow sound?”

Louis might potentially experience a physical collapse, if his shaky legs are anything to go by. However, the sight of Harry’s reciprocated elation prevents this from occurring. They embrace tightly, the intense struggles of the past few months finally coming to an end.

Tomorrow, they will finally be reunited with Saxon, the son they have patiently waited and prayed for, for many years.

🚨

Louis had been awake all night, his mind racing with thoughts of what today would bring. Today, he was going to officially meet his son again after almost six years. Sleep had eluded him, and the hours had crawled by at an excruciatingly slow pace. Now, the morning had arrived, and with it, brought a surge of nervous energy that had him pacing the room.

His footsteps were quick, erratic and repetitive, back and forth, back and forth, as if the movement could somehow calm him. Sitting inside this room as he waits, he bit his nails, talking a hundred words a second, each sentence barely finished before the next began.

What if he doesn’t like me?

What if he’s scared of me?

What if he doesn’t remember me at all? Or worse, what if he remembers and hates me for not being there?

How do I even begin to explain?

What if I say the wrong thing?

What if I-“

Harry was just as nervous, though he tried to hide it. He stood near the door, eyes darting towards it every few seconds, hoping for Garcia to enter and guide them down to the room where they would be meeting their son. Harry’s usual calm demeanour was shattered, his fingers tapping an uneven rhythm against his thigh. He wanted to comfort Louis, to say something that would ease his fears, but he felt equally paralyzed by his own apprehensions.

What if Saxon discovers that this is all my fault?

What if he remembers Louis and holds Harry responsible for separating them?

What if Saxon has no desire to have anything to do with him at all?

What if Saxon is unable to forgive him?

He tried to muster some reassuring words, but they seemed to get lost somewhere between his brain and his mouth. Every glance towards the door carried a desperate hope that Garcia would hurry up and arrive to end this torturous waiting.

Louis’ pacing didn’t slow. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends in frustration.

“What if this is all a bad idea? He probably hates me H. Do I look okay? Shit, should I have brought along a gift? Jesus, Harry, I should have gotten him something.”

Harry swallowed hard, his throat dry. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Instead, he just shifted his weight from one foot to the other, the silence between Louis’ rapid-fire questions feeling like it stretched on forever.

Louis stopped in front of Harry, his eyes wide and frantic. “And what if he’s hurt? What if he’s been hurt all this time and we didn’t know? What if-”

“If you recall, Reign mentioned that he was doing well. Gosh, will you please take a deep breath, your anxiety is making me feel anxious as well. You look stunning baby, and he will undoubtedly adore you. Trust me when I say, it is difficult not to love you. Now, relax.”

“Yeah but-”

The door finally creaked open, and Garcia stepped in. Relief and a fresh wave of anxiety washed over Harry simultaneously. Louis’ words halted mid-sentence, and he turned to face Garcia, his breath coming in quick, shallow bursts.

Garcia gave them a sympathetic smile.

“Sorry guys. There was a bit of a delay but we have the green light. Are you ready to go down and meet him?”

Louis nodded, though his legs felt like jelly, prompting Harry to place a steadying hand on his back. The moment they had been waiting for was finally here, and both men felt a mixture of anticipation and fear as they followed Garcia down the hallway.

The journey to the door felt surreal yet extraordinary, every step evoking a cascade of memories, the anguish accompanied with years worth of pain.

Louis paused just as they reached it, his breath catching in his throat. Garcia noticed his hesitation and placed a reassuring hand on his arm.

“This is it, Louis. You have waited all this time. Your prayers were answered, you got this. I am so happy for you.” she said with a warm smile.

Louis looked to Harry, who leaned in to kiss his forehead, a silent gesture of encouragement and love. With a deep breath, Louis nodded. Garcia opened the door, and Garcia led the way inside, followed by Harry. Louis hesitated for a moment longer, still grappling with the disbelief that this was actually happening. When he finally stepped through, he felt like he was walking into a dream.

Inside, he heard a woman introducing herself to Harry, her voice a distant hum as Louis’ eyes scanned the room. And then he saw him-Saxon, his baby boy, now grown, sitting near a TV with headphones on, engrossed in a game on a PlayStation. The sight sent a jolt through Louis, a mix of joy and heartbreak.

Harry tapped Louis on the shoulder, pulling him back to the present. Louis shook the woman’s hand, barely registering her name as his attention was fixed on Saxon. She spoke briefly, then walked over to the boy. Saxon removed his headphones and rose to his feet. He stared at the ground, his steps slow and cautious as he walked closer.

Louis’ heartbeat thundered in his chest, loud enough, so it seemed, that it was most likely heard all the way across town.

Saxon seemed nervous too, avoiding eye contact until he was standing right in front of them. When he finally looked up, his gaze went straight to Harry.

In his eyes, there was a glimmer of recognition. The thought of, ’ Hey I saw you at the supermarket ’ crossing his mind. With a friendly gesture, Saxon extended his hand in greeting.

“Hello…again.” he said quickly with a shy smile. Louis marvelled at how Harry managed to keep himself so composed as he softly smiled back, shaking Saxon’s hand with a steady grip.

“It’s really nice to meet you, lad. Really really good to finally meet you.”

Then, the moment of truth arrived.

Saxon turned agonisingly slowly towards Louis, taking a deep breath before lifting his head and meeting his eyes. They lingered in that moment, both frozen by the enormity of it.

They examined each other’s expressions, seeking to establish their connection, trying to source what the other was thinking.

Just as Louis was about to speak, Saxon extended his hand once more.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Tomlinson.”

The formality and the gesture nearly brought Louis to tears. His voice was nothing like it used to be, but boy was he polite and so sweet. It appears that Chris had raised him well, although Louis would rather believe Harry’s genetics may also be a contributing factor.

Was he supposed to say that back? Was he expected to just pretend like they were meeting for the first time? There was no way-no way he could pretend he hadn’t birthed this boy. That he hadn’t held him in his arms the moment he was born, crying and covered in blood. That he hadn’t rocked him to sleep each and every night when he was teething or had nightmares. That he hadn’t kissed his boo-boos when he had hurt himself.

Every memory came rushing back, a tidal wave of emotions threatening to drown him. How could he act like this was just a formal introduction when every fiber of his being screamed that this was his son, his flesh and blood. The boy he had lost, the boy he had yearned for every single day since the moment they were torn apart. The boy whose absence had left a gaping wound in his heart that no amount of time could heal. How was he supposed to do this?

The ache of those lost years, of missed birthdays and bedtime stories, of every hug and kiss that never happened, weighed on him like a physical burden. He had to bite back the tears, knowing that breaking down now would only make things harder for Saxon.

But pretending was impossible. How could he ever deny the deep, unbreakable bond they once shared? The very thought of acting like a stranger to his own child was unbearable. Louis wanted to fall to his knees, to beg for Saxon’s forgiveness, to explain the years of torment and longing. He wanted to hug him tightly and never let him go again, and yet all he could do was stand there, fighting to keep his composure as the memories of their shared past played like a cruel, haunting melody in his mind.

He shook Saxon’s hand, his grip firm but gentle, and nodded, his voice choked with emotion.

“Nice to see you again, Saxon.”

It’s all he could manage to say, his heart swelling with pride and sorrow. The journey to this point had been long and painful, but in that moment, everything else faded away.

They were finally together again, and that was all that mattered.

However, Louis stood there, a slight frown forming and an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. He observed Saxon looking at Harry as he spoke, and he listened attentively when Saxon responded. He was unable to comprehend the exact words being exchanged, as he was completely engrossed in the observation.

Gabby, as Louis came to learn her name, courteously guided Saxon back to the table, with Harry following behind. However, Louis remained standing there, a slight crease returning on his forehead and an uneasy sensation settling once more in his belly. He stood and observed Saxon so attentively as he engaged in conversation with Harry, listening to each of his responses as if analysing each one.

Louis felt it deep down-something wasn’t right. There was a flicker in Saxon’s eyes, something dark and sad that only Louis could sense and decipher. This was all going too well, too easily. When Harry turned to answer Gabby when she spoke, he saw Saxon’s head lower, his smile vanishing like a wisp of smoke.

One thing Louis knew for sure: either Saxon was just putting on a friendly act, or he was hiding something.

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

I am sorry.

I know you wanted more interactions with Saxon. That comes next chapter. I couldn’t rush the reunion. It needed to be semi realistic.

🥺

Anyway, what do you think about Saxon?

Chapter 20 - Visitations

A/N

🚨🚨 PLEASE READ 🚨🚨

First off, I’m sorry but this is a MONSTER of a chapter. Buckle in its 14.7k words. I’m so sorry ! I just felt it all needed to be as one.

Also, I had to include some scenes with Saxon’s visits. I have taken a different approach in writing these scenes, simply depicting them as “1st visit” “2nd visit” and so on. If I were to elaborate on the events that transpired between these visits, this story would extend to 100 chapters. 🤣

Therefore, I hope the current format maintains a smooth flow and ensures your understanding.

Please refrain from criticising Saxon in this chapter. He is still young and confused. My daughter is eight years old, and I have modelled his language and manner of speaking after hers (excluding the attitude, of course 😂). Please keep in mind that he is currently feeling angry and upset. Therefore, I kindly request that you refrain from expressing any negative sentiments towards him and instead attempt to understand his emotional state.

Please see the bottom author’s note after reading.

🚨

’ A family doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be united.’

Their first visit with Saxon had been disappointingly short, barely allowing them enough time to exchange pleasantries and engage in a brief chat. The five minutes they had with him felt like a tease, hardly enough time to scratch the surface of what they hoped would be a deeper connection.

Louis couldn’t help but feel a sense of longing as they left, the encounter feeling way too short and incomplete. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed that the visit had ended so quickly, leaving him desperately craving more time.

As they drove home, Harry’s enthusiasm filled the car, his animated descriptions of Saxon’s beauty, and manners painted a vivid picture of their first encounter. He couldn’t stop smiling, his joy infectious as he re-lived every moment of their visit. Harry’s excitement was so clear and palpable as he raved on all the way home about Saxon’s charm and intelligence.

Louis was genuinely delighted for Harry. It was the first time Harry had been granted the privilege of witnessing, at close range and in person, the child they had jointly created together after all these years-a son he initially had no idea existed. Observing Harry’s immediate and profound affection for the child instilled a sense of revitalization inside him.

Louis, on the other hand, remained silent, his thoughts in a state of flux as he processed Harry’s words without fully indulging in his enthusiasm. He listened attentively, appreciating Harry’s excitement, yet he couldn’t dispel the sense of emptiness that lingered after their all-too-brief visit.

As they pulled into the driveway, Garcia’s words echoed in Louis’ mind, emphasising that their visits with Saxon would progressively extend each week. She had outlined that their time together would increase by thirty minutes weekly, provided Saxon and both Harry and Louis felt comfortable, starting with their next formal visit-initially scheduled for just 15 minutes.

But even that prospect couldn’t shake the unease. There was something off about the first encounter, something that left Louis feeling unsettled. Perhaps it was the fact that Saxon didn’t seem to recognize him, or the way he gravitated more towards Harry, leaving Louis feeling like a bystander in his own son’s life. It wasn’t jealousy, exactly, but rather a deep sense of hurt and sadness, a cut of pain that held no malice behind it. Louis couldn’t help but wonder if Saxon would ever come to know him as his parent, or if their bond would forever remain elusive.

Today, however, he and Harry had finally received the green light to make the YouTube video they had been planning for their loyal viewers. They had opted against making a formal statement on TV about their son’s return, so Detective Reign graciously offered to fill in and provide the announcement and updates. This segment would air tomorrow night on the news.

The anticipation of sharing their news with the world felt surreal. Louis could hardly believe they were about to show everyone that miracles do happen and that persistence truly pays off. He just hoped he could hold himself together during the recording.

“Are you ready?”

Louis wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans, trying to calm his nerves. But these weren’t nerves of fear-they were nerves of excitement, of finally getting to share their joy with everyone.

“Yeah.” Louis replied taking a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

They sat down in front of the familiar setup of their YouTube channel, the camera lens capturing their expressions as they readied themselves for their final video. This time, their faces were lit up with genuine smiles, a stark contrast to the more somber updates they had previously shared. Reign had given the green light for this video, but he had been clear about certain boundaries they needed to respect.

Harry took a deep breath, his excitement barely contained as he glanced at Louis, who nodded encouragingly. He looked directly into the camera, his eyes shining with joy.

“Hello everyone, welcome back to our channel.” Harry began, his voice steady yet imbued with intensity. “Today, we have some remarkable news to share with you. It has been a long journey filled with challenges, and we deeply appreciate the support from all of you every step along the way. We are thrilled to announce that Saxon has been officially located. He is safe, in good health, and we are overjoyed beyond words.”

Louis hung on every word that Harry spoke, his heart swelling with each syllable as the magnitude of the moment settled in. Emotions surged within him, a mixture of joy, disbelief, and overwhelming love. He felt a lump form in his throat and warmth spread across his cheeks as his eyes welled with tears of happiness. Though he wiped them away hastily, the camera had already captured the raw vulnerability etched on his face, immortalising the depth of his feelings in that fleeting moment.

Harry noticed and gently squeezed Louis’ hand, his own eyes moistening.

“We’re just so grateful.” he continued, his voice quivering with sorrow. “This has truly been the most heart-wrenching time of our lives, but knowing that Saxon is okay now-it’s what keeps us going, despite all the pain we have endured. It makes all the hardships feel worthwhile.”

Louis cleared his throat, trying to compose himself.

“I’m sorry.” he said, addressing the camera with a tearful smile. “It’s just… we’ve waited for this moment for so long. To finally be able to say that Saxon is safe is overwhelming.”

They both took a moment to breathe, the reality of their words sinking in. Harry resumed speaking, his voice steadying as he continued.

“We want to thank each and every one of you for your unwavering support over the years. Your messages, your prayers, your positive thoughts - they’ve all meant the world to us.”

Louis nodded.

“We felt your love and strength even in our darkest times. Knowing that so many people out there were rooting for us and for Saxon gave us the courage to keep going.”

Harry smiled at Louis, then back at the camera.

“We’re not allowed to go into too many details right now, but what we can say is that Saxon is in good hands, and we’re working towards a bright future together. We have a lot to look forward to, and we’re so excited to finally be able to share this joy with you.”

Louis, still holding Harry’s hand, took a deep breath and spoke directly to their viewers.

“Thank you all. You’ve been like a second family to us, and we couldn’t have made it through without some of your kind words and relentless likes and shares. We feel whole again, and we’re looking forward to the next chapter of our lives with our son. Your support has been invaluable, and we are forever grateful.”

As they wrapped up the video, both of them leaned closer to the camera, their smiles wide and genuine. “Thank you.” they said in unison, their voices filled with gratitude. “Thank you for everything.”

The video ended, but the feeling of relief and happiness lingered. They sat back, still holding hands, and took a moment to savour the fact that their long-awaited moment had finally arrived.

“I can’t believe we just did that.” Louis said with awe. “Honestly, I never thought we’d get the chance to say those words.”

Harry took Louis’ hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “I know, right? It’s so surreal. But we did it. Now, the next step is to get through these visitations.”

Louis nodded, feeling a mix of relief and anticipation. “Yeah, let’s focus on that. One step at a time.”

🚨

1ST VISIT= 15MINS

The large conference room felt impersonal, a stark contrast to the cosy setting Harry and Louis had hoped for their reunion with Saxon. They had initially planned to meet in a smaller, more welcoming room at the child services centre, but a last-minute double booking had forced them into this sterile, impersonal space. The white walls, long table, and rows of empty chairs only added to the anxiety and awkwardness of the situation.

The pair of them sat side by side, their hands clasped together under the table for mutual support. Across from them, Saxon, now almost 9 years old, sat with his arms crossed, his expression a mix of shyness and wariness. Gabby, the therapist, was seated at the end of the table, her notebook open and pen ready.

Louis could feel the tension in the room and struggled to find any right words.

“Hi, Saxon.” he began, his voice shaking slightly. “It’s really good to see you.”

Saxon looked at him, his gaze cool and distant. “Hi” he replied quietly, then looked away.

Harry leaned forward slightly, trying to engage without overwhelming him.

“We’re so happy to finally be here with you again. We’ve been thinking about you every day. We missed you.”

Saxon fidgeted with the edge of his sleeve, not meeting their eyes.

“Really? Then Why didn’t you come find me sooner? Or were all these long years apart not long enough?”

The manner in which he had said that was neither angry nor friendly. It felt quite inexpressive, a sensation that Louis found difficult to articulate. Harry gazed directly at Gabby, uncertain of how to respond. All three of them were astounded that he had raised this topic so abruptly and dispassionately. However, before Gabby could interject, Louis mustered a response, taking a deep breath to quell the lump in his throat.

“We never stopped looking for you, Saxon. We tried everything we could to find you and-”

Gabby intervened with tact, perceiving the potential for an adverse situation if she failed to redirect the discussion.

“Saxon, how about we ask something else?”

Saxon lifted his head, a flicker of confidence surfacing. His next words would undoubtedly hurt Louis, and they will. But in Saxon’s defence, and what Louis didn’t know, was that Saxon had just come from a gruelling counselling session that morning, one that had left him deeply shaken and struggling to cope.

He had been told more harrowing details about the kidnapping, and it ignited a fire of anger within him. Anger at everyone. Anger at Louis for not watching him that day at the park, and anger at realising that the father he had always loved had done something so terrible. Saxon was on the verge of unleashing those pent-up feelings, and tragically, Louis was about to bear the brunt of it.

“Ok sure. Hmm…So… which one of you was it again that couldn’t keep me safe?”

Fuck.

Saxon was going for the throat, and Louis felt the sting. It was a cutting remark, a sharp jab that hurt. But instead of fleeing like he wanted to, Louis stayed put and locked eyes with his son. He had been the one who had lost him, and he knew Saxon would harbour resentment for that. It was what Louis had feared all this time, the dread that had haunted him. If Saxon needed to yell and scream at him to feel better, Louis would endure it. From that very day and up to this very moment, Louis has and always will believe he deserved that anger.

Even though Louis knew Saxon already knew that information, he still proceeded to answer him anyway.

“ It was me. I lost you. I didn’t mean to, I-“

Gabby politely requested to postpone the conversation as it was not an appropriate time to address that matter.

“Could we kindly keep that discussion for another day and proceed with a different topic for the time being? Saxon, would you be so kind as to share with Harry and Louis some of your favourite activities and toys maybe?”

Saxon shrugged, his eyes fixed on the table. “I like drawing.” he said softly, unfazed by the sudden change in topic. And just like that, the young, confused and hurt boy, secluded back into his shell, slightly embarrassed for his outburst. In fairness, he hadn’t meant to say any of that, it had just slipped out.

After observing Louis’ valiant efforts to maintain composure and not crumble while also struggling to prevent himself from utterly falling apart, Harry attempted to lighten the mood with a smile.

“That’s great! What do you like to draw?”

Saxon hesitated, then finally looked up.

“Animals, mostly.”

Louis eagerly stepped in, hoping to establish a connection and make an attempt to mend the emotional rift that had developed between them.

“Animals are wonderful. Do you have a favourite?”

“Maybe… tigers and lions are cool.”

His tone indicated a slight increase in interest, yet he still refrained from making significant eye contact.

Harry nodded along enthusiastically, trying to keep the conversation flowing.

“Good choice, they’re so strong and majestic.”

But when it went silent again Harry had a thought. He reached out, his voice gentle but hopeful.

“We brought something for you.”

He reached down into the bag under the table.

“It’s a photo album with pictures from when you were little. Would you like to see it?”

Louis felt a wave of sadness, for it was he that had longed to be the one to give it to him, to be the one who could offer those memories of the both of them.

Saxon hesitated, then nodded. Harry carefully placed the album on the table and slid it over to him. Saxon opened it slowly as he flipped through, slower with each page. His expression softened slightly as he looked at the photos, but never wavered, never offered any words or made any eye contact.

Louis observed him attentively as Saxon ran his finger over one of the photographs of himself shortly before his capture. His heart felt a combination of hope and trepidation as he noticed the bewilderment, and possibly some pain, in Saxon’s eyes.

“We can look at these together whenever you want.” Louis offered.“ It doesn’t have to be today, you can look at them later tonight, or, whenever you are ready.“

Gabby glanced at her watch and then addressed the group.

“That’s a great idea. We have a few more minutes left. Saxon, do you have any questions for Harry and Louis, that maybe you would like to ask?”

Saxon glanced up, making eye contact for the first time with a hint of curiosity. He attempted to speak, then paused, contemplated further, and briefly looked at Louis before turning his attention to Harry.

“What’s it like at your house? Is it… nice?”

Harry smiled warmly.

“Oh um.. Yeah we think so. We have a cosy home, it’s not a mansion but it’s the people inside that matter more, and there’s also a big garden outside where you can play.”

Louis nodded along, agreeing as he listened.

“We’ve kept your room ready for you too. We can decorate it any way you like, for um, for when you are ready to, ah, come home.”

Louis immediately regretted his words, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole. How had he allowed his emotions to override his sense of practicality?

Saxon considered this, then looked back at the photo album.

“Maybe… with tiger posters?”

Louis felt a surge of relief.

“Absolutely, whatever you want.”

Gabby made a final note and smiled at Saxon.

“Time’s up for today, but we’ll arrange another visit soon. You’re all doing great.”

As they all stood up to leave, Harry placed a gentle hand on Saxon’s shoulder.

“We can’t wait to see you again.”

Louis wished to echo that sentiment. He intended to convey his immense pride in him, expressing how intelligent, refined and smart he sounded when speaking. However, he could only manage a simple;

“See you next week.”

Saxon just stared at him, not responding, well to him at least.

He turned to give a small, tentative smile to Harry.

“Seeya.”

Teetering on the brink of tears, Louis felt as if he could collapse to the floor and cry as he exited the conference room.

While the visit transpired without significant setbacks, it fell short of expectations. Louis grappled with the concern of having advanced the proceedings prematurely, worried he had rushed things today with bringing the photo album etc.

However, outside, Gabby, and Harry collectively expressed optimism regarding the positive trajectory of their interaction. Despite this shared sentiment, Louis couldn’t help but harbour a sense of unease, questioning the dissonance between his perception and that of theirs. Things are moving great, they all insisted.

So why does Louis feel so different?

2ND VISIT -30 MINUTES

The child services conference room was way better. It was designed to be both functional and welcoming, but it still carried an air of formality that made it clear that important meetings took place there. The room was of moderate size, with soft, neutral-coloured walls adorned with cheerful posters promoting positive family values and child welfare. A large window on one side let in natural light, creating a warm atmosphere, while sheer curtains provided some privacy.

In the centre of the room was a round table, sturdy and plain, surrounded by cushioned chairs that were comfortable yet practical. The table was clear, except for a box of tissues and a few scattered crayons and colouring books, subtly placed to make children feel more at ease.

The floor was carpeted in a muted tone, helping to muffle footsteps and create a quieter environment. In one corner of the room, there was a small play area with a few toys, puzzles, and a low bookshelf filled with children’s books. A soft rug defined this space, making it a cosy spot for a child to retreat to if they needed a break.

On one wall, a whiteboard hung, often used by counsellors and therapists during discussions. Next to it, a small cabinet held various supplies, from office materials to small snacks and bottled water. A few comfortable armchairs were positioned near the window, offering an alternative seating arrangement for more informal conversations.

The overall ambiance was one of cautious optimism, one with an underlying current of the serious nature of the meetings that were held there. It was a place designed to facilitate difficult but necessary conversations, aiming to rebuild connections, step by careful step.

Harry and Louis sat together at one end of the table, with Gabby positioned a few seats away, her notebook open and pen ready to score these bullshit interactions or ‘interrogations’ as Louis liked to call them when at home. Saxon sat across from them, looking smaller than ever in the vast room. He was shy today, his eyes darting around nervously before settling on Harry.

“Oh, um, I got something for you.” Saxon said shyly as he held his eyes on Harry. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper that was neatly folded into quarters, and slid it across the table. As it landed in front of Harry, Saxon added quickly. “It’s for both of you, I meant.”

Harry and Louis exchanged a look of surprise and curiosity before unfolding the paper. As they smoothed it out on the table, they saw a beautifully drawn lion, its mane detailed with careful, precise lines, shadows and details.“

“I mean, it’s just you brought me the photo album last week, so I thought maybe you might want this.” Saxon explained, his voice trailing off as he watched their reactions. He became visibly nervous and leaned forward, his fingers inching toward the drawing. “Actually, forget it, it was a stupid idea.” he said, attempting to take it back.

But Louis quickly picked up the drawing and examined it closely. He looked at Saxon, their eyes meeting for the first time with a spark of connection.

“It’s absolutely amazing. Thank you so much for thinking of us.” he said, his voice filled with genuine appreciation.

The moment hung awkwardly in the air, but Harry quickly stepped in to ease the tension.

“Wow, you are so talented. You might have to show me how to draw like that. Daddy here, I mean Lou, Louis here, only knows how to draw stick figures like me.”

Saxon’s face lit up with a hint of pride, and he started explaining the process of how he drew the lion, his shyness fading slightly as he engaged with Harry. They began a lively conversation about drawing techniques and favourite animals, Harry’s enthusiastic questions and comments helping Saxon open up more and more.

Louis watched the interaction like a hawk. He was grateful for Harry’s ability to connect with Saxon, but he constantly felt like he was always on the outside looking in. He tried to join the conversation, but his words felt awkward and forced, so he just stopped altogether.

As Saxon and Harry continued their animated discussion, Louis sat quietly, experiencing a sense of isolation and concern, a deep worry that Saxon might never warm up to him.

He glanced at Gabby, who was writing notes, and took a deep breath, reminding himself that this was just the beginning. Reconnecting with his son would take time, and he had to be patient, he just had to remember that.

Finally, Gabby gently signalled that their time was almost up.

“Like last time, we still have a few more minutes. Saxon, do you have any questions for your-”

“For Harry and Louis?” Saxon corrects her, or rather, shuts her down in a professional manner.

He looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head.

“No, I think I’m good.” he said softly, his eyes flicking briefly between them before returning to Harry.

Harry smiled warmly.

“ Alright then.“ Gabby said, beginning to gather up her paperwork.

“Wait.”

Saxon sits there, staring at the ground, too shy to meet their eyes as he begins to speak.

“I don’t have a question, but I do want to apologise for how I behaved during the last visit.”

Harry glanced at Louis, expecting him to respond, but Louis, too, looked down, his silence speaking volumes. The emotional turmoil between them was palpable, and it broke Harry’s heart to witness the intense back-and-forth struggle they were both enduring.

“Hey, no need to apologise. We understand, buddy. There has been a lot going on and we too are trying to adjust. Don’t worry about it alright. We can’t wait to see you again, next week. Maybe next time, you can bring more of your drawings?”

Saxon nodded, a small tentative smile appearing on his face. “Okay.” he agreed.

As they stood to leave, Harry reached out to Saxon, his hand resting on his shoulder.

“You did great today. We’re really proud of you.”

“Yes, thank you, Saxon. It was really nice to see you again and thank you for the drawing. We’ll see you soon dar-…Saxon.” Louis adds on.

With a final smile, they bid each other farewell. Gabby led the way out with Harry confirming the time and day for the following week. Louis lagged behind.

As Harry rounded the corner and Gabby remaining just in sight, Louis seized the opportunity to take a final look back.

Saxon remained motionless, his rigid posture conveying a sense of vigilance as he observed their departure.

Summoning some courage, Louis gradually raised his hand and offered a wave accompanied with a semi smile.

In this fleeting and personal exchange between only the two of them, Saxon paused momentarily before reciprocating the gesture. This subtle yet meaningful action hopefully hinted at the potential yet gradual and cautious mending of whatever it was that had been broken between them.

They were beginning to bridge the gap, step by step. Or so he had thought.

VISIT 3 = 1 HOUR

The visit today was again being held at the CPS centre. As they signed in, they were informed that their one-hour visit would also include a brief walk. The plan was to get outdoors, enjoy some fresh air, and allow Gabby to observe how Saxon and both parents would handle being around other people.

Already, Louis felt like he would fail miserably.

When they were led to the garden, Saxon already stood outside looking rather glum. Gabby was talking to him, but Harry and Louis were still too far away to hear.

As they approached, Saxon suddenly saw a baby lizard darting through the garden. He jumped up, immediately enthralled, and began hunting for it in the bushes. Harry and Louis exchanged a look before turning their attention to Gabby.

“Sorry.” Gabby said, noticing their concern. “Apparently, he didn’t sleep much last night. There were some tears and yelling, and he…” She cleared her throat. “He wanted to see Chris, and well, you can understand how that went.”

Louis glanced over to where Saxon was now crouched, holding the tiny creature close to his face examining it.

“Look, I won’t sugarcoat anything. Unfortunately, this is how things go. Some days are harder than others. It’s hard to predict how children will react to change, especially in these types of circumstances. I promise you, we weren’t lying when we said he was a nice and mature boy. He is. He’s just struggling to adjust still and will for some time. With that comes mixed feelings and outbursts. But don’t give up, okay? He will get there in the end, I’m sure of it.”

Louis nodded, feeling a mix of hope and despair. Watching Saxon with the lizard, he realised how much they had missed, how many moments like this they had been deprived of. Harry placed a reassuring hand on his lower back, caressing gently.

“We’re not giving up.” Harry said firmly. “We’ll do whatever it takes.”

Gabby smiled, a look of genuine encouragement on her face.

“That’s all you can do. Just be there for him, every step of the way.”

Saxon, still engrossed in his little discovery, glanced up and met their eyes, giving a small, tentative smile. For a moment, the world felt a bit brighter.

“Hey Sax, I hear we’re going for a walk today. Are you all ready to go?” Harry called out, his voice cheerful.

Why, just why was it so easy for Harry? He had no trouble starting a conversation, no trouble watching Saxon move about, no trouble acting like this whole ordeal was normal. It irritated Louis, which made him feel horrible. It was a good thing that Saxon was opening up to Harry; trust was being built. But Louis was jealous, there was no doubt about it. Louis’ mood changed just like that. Just a minute ago, Harry had said they weren’t giving up, but Louis felt like it was inevitable for him.

He felt an anxiety attack coming on, his mind doing that thing where it consumed every thought, trying its hardest to convince him of not only negativity but of worries that had not yet happened. As he watched Harry help Saxon lay the lizard back in the garden, he saw Gabby smiling as she watched on.

What happens if Harry gets approved and Louis doesn’t? Would Harry take Saxon and leave him altogether? Would he take Delilah too and leave Louis all alone? Fuck, would he take them back to LA? His heart was racing, so much so, he had to turn around to take a big deep breath. He didn’t want Gabby to see.

“Louis, are you ready?” Harry called out.

But Louis was nowhere near ready and now he wasn’t sure he ever would be.

Trying to steady his breath, Louis forced himself to face the group. He saw Harry and Saxon laughing together as they stood near the gate. The sight of Harry being so effortlessly good with Saxon made Louis’ heart ache even more.

Gabby noticed the tension in his face as she approached him.

“Louis, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. This is a big step for all of you.” she said softly, placing a reassuring hand on his arm.

Louis nodded, but the tightness in his chest didn’t ease.

“I just want to do everything right for him.” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

“And you will.” Gabby assured him. “This isn’t easy, but you’re doing your best and that’s what really matters.”

“I can’t fail him this time Gabby, he has already been through enough.”

Louis took another deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside him. He watched as Harry made Saxon laugh, and for a moment, he tried to see the situation through Harry’s eyes. Maybe it was easier for Harry because he hadn’t had to endure the same losses, the same relentless guilt. Or maybe Harry was just better at hiding his fears.

“Hey, look at me.” She said, her voice gentle yet firm enough for Louis to give her his full attention. “Let’s just go for a walk and stop overthinking everything. It’s a beautiful sunny day. Your son is finally back. Let’s seize the day and make the most of it.”

Louis nodded, though he still felt the weight of his fears pressing down on him. He took one more deep breath and forced himself to follow them as they started their walk. He wasn’t ready, but he would try to be. For Saxon, he would keep trying.

The street they walked down was lined with a variety of shops, each one offering something different. A quaint bookstore with colourful displays in the window, a bakery with the scent of fresh bread wafting out, and a small clothing boutique with mannequins dressed in the latest styles all captured Saxons attention. Today though, the street was unusually quiet, with only a few people milling about, making it feel almost like they had it all to themselves.

“Oh Lou, look how pretty that is. Piggy would love that.” Harry pointed inside the clothes store, Louis leaning in to the window to have a look.

Although Saxon was listening, his eyes were trained ahead as he focused on the traffic passing by.

“ Definitely.“ Louis responded lightly.

As they strolled further along, Saxon scuffed his feet against the pavement, a habit that made Louis smile despite everything. It reminded him of how his own mother used to tell him off for the same thing when he was a boy.

They passed by a shop that sold bicycles, the shiny new bikes gleaming under the lights. Saxon paused and stared through the window, a sad expression crossing his face.

“Do you not like bikes?” Louis asked, trying to engage with him.

Saxon briefly looked at Louis through the window’s reflection, hoping for Louis to look back, but Louis continued to examine the bicycles unaware. Saxon spoke in a low, indistinct tone.

“Dad wouldn’t allow me one. I wasn’t allowed outside much. That was one of my rules.”

Louis felt a surge of defensiveness.

“What rules?” he spat out, his tone sharper than he intended.

Saxon turned abruptly and walked away, not in anger, but in a desperate attempt to keep moving, to keep forgetting . Gabby, walking beside them, caught Louis’ eye and made a subtle gesture, shaking her hand back and forth near her neck, silently telling him to stop and switch subjects.

Louis’ mind was racing with questions. He wanted to know about these rules, wanted to understand everything that had happened to his boy. But he knew he needed to wait. Luckily, they were promised a meeting soon with Gabby, who would give them updates on Saxon’s mental health and insights into his progress.

Feeling like an idiot for always saying the wrong thing, Louis fell silent. Harry, sensing his turmoil, looked at him with concern. Normally, Harry’s concern would provide some comfort, but today, it only made Louis want to sit back and shut up, feeling more isolated in his worries than ever.

Saxon spots a café and tugs at Gabby’s sleeve.

“Can we grab something to eat? I’m hungry.”

She glances at Harry and Louis, who both nod and smile in agreement.

“Sure we can.” she replies warmly.

Barely three seconds pass before Saxon, now holding the menu, eagerly blurts out:

“I would really like some pancakes if it’s okay with you. They seem a little expensive, so I can choose something else if it’s a bother.”

Louis would usually melt at Saxon’s politeness, but something keeps him quiet this time. Gabby winks at Saxon, encouraging him.

“Pancakes sound lovely. Any particular topping you would like?”

’ Please don’t say it, please don’t say it’ Louis silently chants. Surely Saxon won’t choose it. What are the odds?

“Honey and strawberries, please.”

Apparently, the odds are quite high.

Shit.

Louis silently excused himself from the café, slipping away without a word. He exited through the door, his figure quickly vanishing around the corner.

Fate really does have a twisted sense of humour sometimes doesn’t it?

A wise person once said: ’ Most gods throw dice, but fate plays chess. And unfortunately, you don’t find out until it’s too late that fate had been playing with two queens all along.’

Now Louis gets it. He will always lose against whatever fate has in store for him and today was no different.

How interesting, he ponders. How painfully ironic. Perhaps this was the plan all along-to instill in Louis the profound lesson that sadness is a necessary precursor to the appreciation of happiness, and silence is essential for the full comprehension of noise. Maybe it is through the experience of being absent that the true value of presence is revealed. Who really knows?

Because Harry, Gabby, and Saxon have no idea. They don’t know that the very first meal he shares with Saxon upon his return, is the exact same thing Louis cooked for him on the morning they shared their last meal together. The memory haunts Louis, making the moment bittersweet and almost too painful to witness inside.

God, he’s so sick of crying lately. The corners of his eyes are sore from the constant wiping. He’s grateful that Harry hasn’t come out looking for him, but he can’t shake the worry about how bad this must look to Gabby…and unknowingly, to Saxon too.

Miscommunication is about to cause some serious misunderstandings. Internal conflicts within both Louis and Saxon are about to become a tangled mess of emotions and crossed wires leaving everything a little…..messy.

It takes longer than expected for Louis to calm himself. His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he knows it’s Harry.

Text from Harry to Louis: ‘Where are you? Are you alright? I ordered you a ham and cheese croissant and a cappuccino.’

Louis had been looking forward to today’s longer visit with Saxon, but, like the other visits, it feels like he’s ruining it. Shaking his head in disappointment, he walks back inside.

The moment he re-enters through the door, he feels the weight of their eyes on him. Two pairs, to be exact-Gabby and Harry. Saxon’s head is hung low, looking disheartened.

“Sorry, guys. I saw my mother and had to stop her from coming in. I sincerely apologise. Ooh, that looks nice.”

He lied and It’s a desperate attempt to divert the attention away from his actions as Louis points at Harry’s large cinnamon roll and goes to pick at it, but Harry swats his hand away.

“Hey.”

Louis pouts, catching Saxon’s watchful eyes out of the corner of his vision.

Harry caves.

“Don’t bat those eyelids at me…oh, fine, have some.”

Out of his peripheral vision, Louis sees Saxon smile at their banter, and for a moment, he thinks maybe he has rectified himself. But the frown returns to Saxon’s little forehead, deepening the crease between his brows.

Louis sits down, trying to shake off the heaviness that had settled on his shoulders. He takes a sip of his coffee, the warmth offering some comfort. He glances at Saxon, who is still poking at his food without much interest, which was weird, wasn’t he hungry before?

“How’s the pancake?”

And if Louis’ voice cracked and sounded strained, well, that didn’t help things much either.

Saxon looks up briefly, then back down again. “It’s fine.” he mutters.

Gabby gives Louis a small, encouraging nod, as if to say ’ Keep trying.’ Louis musters a smile, though it feels strained.

For the rest of their time in the bakery, they sat in a comfortable, if somewhat uneasy silence, each lost in their own internal deliberations.

Saxon remained utterly quiet…but that was okay, because Louis did too.

As the hour flew by, and now back at the centre, it was already time to leave. Just like clockwork, Gabby delivered her customary question.

“Anything you want to ask before they leave, Saxon?”

Louis could tell immediately that the young lad was pondering something. He watched Saxon’s face, seeing the little wheels turning inside his head. And then, came a question that not only seemed to come out of the blue but also shocked both parents.

“Besides a pig, do you have any other animals?”

Harry and Louis exchanged confused looks. Louis started to respond right away.

“We don’t have any animals. Why do you ask-”

But Harry, having worked it out, gently interrupted. “Oh, I see where you might have thought that. Darling, we don’t have any animals, no, but we do have-”

Before Harry could finish, Saxon jumped in.

“But earlier, you were talking about buying stuff for a pig, weren’t you not?”

Harry looked at Louis with a worried expression. Saxon hadn’t been told about her yet. Harry glanced at Gabby, then back at Louis, who looked mortified. He took a deep breath and began to explain quietly and delicately.

“Well, yes, we did say that. But, um, Piggy is not a pig. She is our daughter….Your sister.”

Saxon’s eyes widened, curiosity, anger, and sadness all binding together to flash across his face. Louis watched him nervously, unsure how he would react.

Gabby leaned in slightly, ready to support the conversation if needed. Harry continued on.

“Her name is Delilah, but we often call her Piggy as a nickname. We thought you might like to meet her soon. I mean, only when you are ready and when it’s allowed of course.”

Saxon’s lips pressed together, thinking hard. Finally, he looked up, his voice soft, “I have a sister.” Upon initial perception, one may interpret it as a question, but it’s not. His little voice begins to cower back away as if fading into the background, now more than ever opting to focus on a spot on the floor in front of him instead.

Louis, his voice cracking slightly, nodded.

“She will be really excited to meet you, I’m sure.”

The room fell silent for a moment, the weight of the revelation settling in. Saxon’s expression was hard to read, but Harry reached out anyway, but Saxon pulls his hand back.

“We understand this is a lot to take in.” Harry said gently. “But we’re here for you, every step of the way.”

Saxon nodded slowly, still processing the news. Louis bit his lip to keep his composure. He prayed silently that this was a step towards healing, for all of them, if only he knew how bad things were about to change.

As Harry turned away to walk a short distance to get water from the stand, Gabby stood up to accompany him, observing how emotional Harry had become.

If only Harry had remained there, if only perhaps Gabby had overheard, then perhaps Louis would not have spent the subsequent days in profound remorse at Saxon’s forthcoming words. Words that possessed the potential to deeply cut and wound him.

“Congratulations I guess.”

Louis was perplexed by his son’s remark, but he refrained from questioning it, as its significance became apparent shortly after.

“Haven’t lost that kid yet. Good job.”

It’s a staring match.

The words cut deep, sharp and merciless, and Louis felt every painful syllable. He stared at Saxon, his body reacting with a surge of anxiety, familiar symptoms hitting him like an avalanche. The glare Saxon directed at him was filled with hurt. Beneath the malice in his eyes, Louis could see the raw pain, and he understood why.

Saxon was thinking what everyone else had likely assumed in the past… that he had simply been replaced.

“Babe, are you ready to go? Gabby said next session we get a whole day.” Harry then diverted his attention towards Saxon. “Can you believe it, buddy?” In an instant, Saxon’s expression softened into a polite smile. “Lovely.” he responded. “Can’t wait.”

But Louis was the only one who had heard the subtle sarcasm in his tone, and his heart sank. His worst fears were confirmed.

Saxon blamed him, and Saxon hated him.

🚨

FIVE DAYS LATER .

In their bedroom, Harry’s voice was filled with frustration.

“What do you mean you are not coming!”

Louis, sitting on the edge of the bed, looked away. “I’m sick.” he muttered as he ‘faked coughed.’

Harry crossed his arms, seeing right through the excuse.

“Bullshit, Louis. I know you’re feeling deflated, but I have no idea why. What’s going on?”

Louis didn’t respond, staring down at his hands. Harry’s voice grew more forceful.

“Louis, what is happening? You’ve been moping around since the last visit and haven’t said a word. We need to leave in ten minutes and you’re still not ready. Now you’re saying you don’t want to go? What has gotten into you?”

“Nothing.” Louis said, still not meeting Harry’s eyes.

Harry stepped in front of him, blocking his view and demanding his attention.

“Tell me what’s really going on.”

Louis’ eyes turned that familiar sad shape, and Harry gently grabbed his hands.

“Baby, what happened?”

Tears welled up in Louis’ eyes as he finally let the words out.

“He hates me, H. I knew it. I knew he would blame me. I told you all from the start this would happen. And Delilah, he is going to resent her, I know it and-…”

Harry approached and sat down next to him, offering a comforting embrace as Louis began to shed tears. Harry’s firm and reassuring hold provided a sense of security, a safe haven, one akin to a dependable sanctuary, one Louis was used to.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Harry whispered, his voice soft and soothing. “What brought this all on? Why do you think that?”

Louis took a shaky breath, his tears wetting Harry’s shirt as he leaned into the warmth of his partner.

“It’s Saxon.” he finally managed to say, his voice choking with emotion.

“He hates me. The other day, he looked at me like… like I was the reason for everything bad that has happened to him. You didn’t hear what he said and Delilah… I’m so scared he’ll hate her too.”

Harry tightened his grip, his heart breaking for him.

“Baby, Saxon doesn’t hate you. He’s confused and hurting, just like you are. This is hard for all of us, but it will all get better, I promise. You can’t give up now.”

Louis shook his head, the weight of his guilt and fear pressing down on him.

“I can’t, Harry. I can’t face him today. I just can’t.”

Harry pulled back slightly looking into Louis’ eyes searching for a way to break through that wall of despair. But the pain there was too deep, too fresh, too overwhelming. He knew that no amount of reassurance could make Louis feel better right now.

“Okay.” Harry said quietly, his voice full of reluctant understanding.

“I’ll go alone today. But this isn’t the end, Louis. We’re going to keep fighting for our family… together.”

Louis nodded, tears still streaming down his face. He watched as Harry stood up, his own heart breaking at the sight of his partner’s struggle. “I’m sorry.” Louis whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Harry leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Louis’ forehead. “I love you.” he said simply. “Delilah is in front of the T.V, I’m sure she would love some company.”

Louis smiled. “Okay.”

4TH VISIT = FULL DAY

And that is how Harry found himself alone in the visitation room, the weight of Louis’ absence heavy on his shoulders. The room felt colder, emptier without Louis by his side, and the silence seemed to amplify the emptiness he felt.

Harry glanced around the room, the familiar setting now feeling foreign and daunting. He took a deep breath, preparing himself to face Saxon alone, wishing he could somehow carry Louis’ strength with him, the strength he knew he possessed but was scared to show. He knew that today, more than ever, he had to be strong for both of them.

The door to the visitation room opened, and the sound of laughter echoed through the space as Saxon walked in with Gabby. Saxon’s smile faltered the moment he saw Harry, and his laughter ceased abruptly. Harry’s heart sank, unsure if Saxon was disappointed to see him or simply disheartened that Louis wasn’t there.

“Good morning, Saxon.” Harry greeted, his voice steady despite his nerves. “Louis couldn’t make it today, but I thought we could do something fun. How about we visit the local museum? They’re currently displaying ancient animals. I thought it might be a great way to learn some cool things and then we can end the day with a trip to the ice cream parlour. What do you think?”

Saxon paused for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, a soft smile spread across his face. “That sounds nice.” he said quietly.

Harry felt a wave of relief wash over him. He smiled back at Saxon and then turned to Gabby, who gave him an encouraging nod. “Great,” Harry said. “Let’s get going then.”

They all headed outside into the parking lot. As they walked, Harry couldn’t help but notice how small Saxon seemed, his shoulders slightly hunched as if carrying an invisible weight.

Harry led the way to the car, making sure to open the door for him. “Hop in, buddy and strap in.” He said, trying to infuse his voice with as much cheerfulness as he could muster.

Saxon climbed into the backseat, buckling his seatbelt while Gabby took the passenger seat. Harry settled into the driver’s seat, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. The drive to the museum was quiet, with Saxon staring out the window lost in his thoughts.

Harry stole a glance through the rearview mirror. “Have you ever been to museums before?” he asked, trying to break the silence.

Saxon shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”

“Well, you’re in for a treat then. They’ve got some really cool exhibits. I think you’ll like it.”

The rest of the drive was filled with small talk, with Harry trying to keep the conversation light and engaging. Saxon responded politely, but Harry could sense the underlying tension. He knew it would take time for Saxon to open up properly, and he was willing to be patient.

The museum was an imposing building, with tall columns and a grand façade. Inside, it was cool and dimly lit and already Saxon looked intrigued.

They made their way to the exhibit on ancient animals. Saxon’s eyes widened with curiosity as he took in the skeletons of long-extinct creatures, the detailed dioramas, and the interactive displays. Harry stayed close, offering bits of information and anecdotes about the exhibits, hoping to spark Saxon’s interest.

“Look at this one.” Harry said, pointing to a massive skeleton of a woolly mammoth. “Did you know these guys could weigh up to six tons?”

Saxon’s eyes were wide as he examined the skeleton. “That’s huge!” he said, a hint of excitement in his voice.

They continued through the exhibit, with Saxon gradually becoming more engaged. Harry watched as his face lit up with genuine interest, and for a moment, the weight of their situation seemed to lift.

After they had explored the entire exhibit, Harry suggested they head to the ice cream parlour as promised. Saxon nodded eagerly, clearly looking forward to the treat.

As they walked back to the car, Harry glanced over at Gabby, who gave him a reassuring smile. He felt a glimmer of hope. Today had been a small victory, a step towards rebuilding their relationship.

At the ice cream parlour, they all sat down with their cones, Saxon happily devouring his mint chocolate chip scoop. Harry felt a sense of accomplishment, knowing that despite the challenges, they were making progress. And he also couldn’t contain the smirk he made when he heard Saxon’s favourite flavour was that of Louis’. He couldn’t wait to tell him that, or maybe he shouldn’t, he doesn’t know anymore.

“Did you have a good time today?” Harry asked, watching as the boy licked the last of his ice cream.

Saxon looked up and smiled. “Yeah, I did. Thanks, Harry.”

Harry’s heart swelled with emotion. “You’re welcome, buddy.”

As they finished up and prepared to head back, Harry couldn’t help but think of Louis. He wished Louis could have seen this, could have shared in this small triumph. But for now, he would carry this moment with him, a beacon of hope that one day, Louis and Saxon will enjoy many days just like this.

When they arrived back at the drop-off location, the atmosphere in the car grew heavy with the impending goodbye. Harry parked and turned to Saxon, offering a warm smile. “I’m really glad we had fun today.” he said sincerely.

“Yeah me too.” Saxon replied, but his voice carried a sadness, as if he wanted to say more but couldn’t find the words.

“See you next time.” Harry said, stepping out of the car to say goodbye.

“Any questions?” Gabby asked.

Saxon simply shook his head no.

Harry observed them walking back towards the garden’s entrance.

He was nearly ready to return to the vehicle when he heard Saxon call out.

“Hey, Harry!”

Turning back, Harry saw Saxon standing there, looking ever so sad. He walked over quickly, concern etched on his face.

“You alright? What’s the matter? Did I say something wrong?”

Saxon looked down, gathering his courage. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely audible.

“He hates me, doesn’t he? Louis. That’s why he didn’t want to come?”

Harry’s heart shattered at the question.

“What? No, darling, no.”

Saxon’s lip quivered. “You don’t have to cover it. I can take it. I’m not a baby anymore.”

Harry gently guided Saxon over to the outside bench noticing Gabby at the gate, her notebook out, jotting down her observations. He turned his full attention back to Saxon.

“I don’t know why you would think that.” Harry began, his voice gentle and soothing.

“He hardly talks to me. He always looks away from me, he even walks out sometimes.” He sniffles as he uses his jumper sleeve to wipe his nose. “He didn’t want to come today, did he? It’s okay, Harry, you can tell me. I wouldn’t blame him. I said something nasty but I didn’t mean it, I didn’t. I just… it made me sad that another kid… doesn’t matter.”

Saxon’s tears began to fall, and without hesitation, and whether he was allowed to or not, he leant down and wrapped him in a hug, his very first hug with his own flesh and blood.

“Listen, Louis is sick, that’s all, mate. He’ll be back next time. And as for Louis not looking at you and sometimes moving away, it’s only because he loves you immensely. He remembers you, but you don’t remember him or the times you spent together. It’s hard on him, that’s all. He tries to be strong, but sometimes he fails. He just doesn’t want you to see his pain, that’s all.”

Saxon buried his face in Harry’s chest, sobbing quietly. Harry held him tighter, stroking his hair and murmuring soothing words. He glanced at Gabby, who had stopped writing and was watching them with a soft, empathetic expression.

“We’ll get through this, Saxon.” Harry whispered. “Together. You, me, and Louis. We’re a family, and families stick together.”

Saxon pulled back slightly, looking up at Harry with tear-streaked cheeks but a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“And a pig that really isn’t a pig.”

Harry smiled, wiping away Saxon’s tears.

“And Delilah, yes.”

As they sat there, wrapped in the warmth of their newfound connection, Harry felt a renewed sense of determination. He would do whatever it took to heal their fractured family, to mend the pieces and build something stronger. For Saxon, for Louis, and for the love that bound them all together.

🚨

When Harry returned home, he found Louis quietly tidying up Delilah’s toys. The little girl was fast asleep on her tiny bean bag, her breathing soft and rhythmic. Louis hadn’t said a word since Harry walked in, but his eyes were filled with an unspoken desperation, a longing to know how the day had gone. Harry could see the questions dancing in Louis’ gaze, the need to hear every detail. And Harry wanted nothing more than to tell him everything, from how Saxon had excitedly dragged him from exhibit to exhibit. From how he had used his hands expressively when he spoke, and even down to the way he had made a mess of his ice cream.

But Harry couldn’t find the words just yet. The moment he saw Louis, he felt something break inside him. He walked over, and fell into Louis, pressing himself firm into his chest. The sobs came suddenly and uncontrollably, as if a dam had burst inside him.

“Oh God, Louis, I love him so much already.” Harry choked out between sobs.

Louis held Harry tightly, his own eyes filling with tears. He had been bracing himself for the worst, imagining all the ways the visit could have gone wrong. But hearing Harry’s raw, emotional confession made his heart swell with a mixture of relief and sadness.

“He’s amazing, Lou.” Harry continued, his voice trembling. “He’s so full of life and curiosity. And he’s so much like you. The way he gets excited, the way he talks with his hands… it’s like seeing a little version of you.”

Louis’ grip tightened, and he buried his face in Harry’s shoulder. “I want to know everything, H.” he whispered. “Every little detail.”

Harry pulled back slightly, just enough to look into Louis’ eyes. “I’ll tell you everything, I promise. But right now, I just need to hold you.”

Louis nodded, tears streaming down his face. He could see the love and pain in Harry’s eyes, a mirror of his own emotions. They stood there, holding each other in the quiet room, with Delilah sleeping peacefully nearby, a tiny symbol of the hope and love that still existed in their lives.

For a long while, they just held each other, drawing strength from their shared embrace. Eventually, Harry began to speak, his voice soft and full of emotion.

“He asked about you. He wanted to know why you didn’t come. And I told him… I told him you were sick. But I don’t think he believes me. He thinks… he thinks you don’t like him.”

Louis’ heart ached at the words.

“I don’t hate him.” he whispered. “I could never hate him. I just… I’m scared, Harry. I’m scared of messing this up, of hurting him even more.”

Harry cupped Louis’ face in his hands, his eyes fierce and loving. “ I know, baby. We got to be strong though. Come and sit.“

Settling quietly onto the lounge for a cuddle, Harry and Louis glanced at the empty spots beside them, both waiting and eager, hearts yearning for the day when they might see their son sitting there with them.

“Now I’ve met him, I can’t lose him again Lou. We need to pass this…together.”

🚨

Jay had kindly offered to babysit, giving Harry and Louis a rare chance to enjoy a night off and properly celebrate Saxon’s return. She understood how much they needed it. In fact, she was pleasantly surprised at how quickly they accepted the offer, dropping Delilah off the very next evening.

However, their night on the town wasn’t turning out the way they had planned. By 8:48 PM, they were already excessively drunk, laughter and slurred words filling the air around them as they sat at the bar.

The pub was a cozy establishment, with warm lighting and the low hum of chatter from patrons. The scent of pub fare mingled with the aroma of beer, creating a familiar and comforting atmosphere. Harry and Louis had taken up residence at the bar, the polished wood cool beneath their arms as they leaned in close, talking animatedly between bouts of laughter.

After a few rounds, Harry’s vision began to blur slightly, but he still noticed something not too far away. In the corner booth section, a face he never expected to see caught his eye. It was their neighbour, Old Man George.

“Isn’t that…?” Harry squinted, nudging Louis with his elbow.

Louis turned, his own gaze following Harry’s line of sight. “Bloody hell, it is!” he exclaimed, his words slurring slightly.

Old Man George, with his signature black hat and well-worn jacket, was nursing a pint and reading a newspaper. The sight was both surprising and oddly comforting.

“What’s he doing here?” Harry wondered aloud, a grin spreading across his face. “Should we go say hi?”

“Definitely!” Louis agreed, though his attempt to stand nearly sent him toppling over. Harry caught him, and they both laughed, stumbling their way toward the booth.

Was this a wise choice? While intoxicated, they were content and genuinely happy, but all rational judgments were disregarded. However, it is only George. Surely he is not that bad.

“George!” Harry called out, perhaps a bit too loudly for the quiet corner of the pub. George looked up, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Well, I’ll be.” George Bemoaned, a slow contemptuous smile spreading across his face. “Didn’t expect to see you two here.”

“Nor us you!” Louis replied, plopping down into the booth beside him, while Harry took the opposite seat.

“What brings you out tonight?” Harry asked, waving a hand at the bartender for another round.

“Just fancied a pint and some peace.” George replied, his eyes rolling but also twinkling with some kind of amusement. “Didn’t realise it’d turn into a reunion.”

“Well we’re celebrating.” Louis said, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Our son, Saxon, he’s back home.”

George wants to say “ Yet here you are at the pub.“ But he refrains. Instead, his expression softened. “Heard that. A good reason to celebrate. Told ya’ll he wasn’t in my basement, but you kids don’t listen these days.”

And Harry snorted out a laugh, in which may have been inappropriate, but the alcohol did not seem to mind.

“Yeah, Sorry Georgie.” Louis responded, noticing George’s displeasure with the nickname.

“Ahem. I mean George.”

As the drinks arrived, the atmosphere lightened, and the conversation began to flow more freely. George took the opportunity to apologise for his past behaviour, particularly explaining the way the gay community was viewed during his younger years. He then launched into a series of vivid stories from his youth, recounting adventures and mischievous exploits that captivated them both. They listened intently as George spoke of his family and the challenges and joys of his earlier days. For a moment, the worries and stresses of the past few years melted away, replaced by laughter and a newfound sense of camaraderie, all with George, who they now saw in a different light.

Finally, as the pub began to quiet down, Harry looked at Louis, who was nodding off slightly. “I think it’s time we head home.” he said gently.

“Yeah.” Louis agreed, struggling to stifle a yawn. They both stood, wobbling slightly, and bid George goodnight.

“Good seeing you neighbour. You enjoy the rest of your evening.” Harry exclaimed, patting the man on his back gently.

“Yeah yeah, go on.” George said with a soft smile. “And congratulations again on your boy.”

“Thanks, and George…You really aren’t so bad afterall.” Harry replied, slinging an arm around Louis.

As they made their way to the exit, George yelled out. “ And tell that daughter of yours to stop bouncing that god damn ball so loud in the mornings.“

Harry and Louis looked shocked for a second but there was the man they knew, until George raises his glass at them and laughs. “Get out of here.”

As they stepped out into the nights air, Harry felt a rush of warmth and contentment, his gaze locking onto Louis’ eyes-so dreamy, so intensely blue. A burning desire ignited within him, compelling him to close the distance between them. Harry’s hands found the back of Louis’ neck, pulling him in for a deep, passionate kiss. The intensity left Louis panting, reminding him of how electric Harry’s touch could be, how nice and passionate they could be together.

“All this time, and you’re still fucking stunning” Harry murmured, biting his lip as he pulled back slightly.

“Harry, I’m so-”

“Tired, I know.” Harry interrupted, his voice tinged with a knowing smile.

But Louis had other plans. With a fierce intensity, he pushed Harry against the rough exterior of the pub wall.

“No, I’m so fucking horny.”

Harry’s neck fell to the side, inviting Louis to attack his exposed skin with fervent kisses.

“I can’t wait to get home. Do you want me to call for-”

Louis’ next words were a breathly command.

“No, I want you to grab my hair like you grabbed my heart all those years ago.” he whispered between kisses on Harry’s collarbone. “forcefully with your fists.”

His hands roam up under Harry’s shirt, and god Louis feels like he hasn’t done this in ages as he continues kisses along his jawline.

“I want you to pull my hips closer to yours and demand I don’t move. Remind me how to breathe by making me breathless.”

He brought his lips to Harry’s earlobe, his voice dripping with seduction. It’s so sensual it almost drives Harry over the edge.

“Don’t love me tenderly tonight, Harry. Take me home and fucking wreck me.”

“Fucking hell.” Harry moaned.

The world spun in a haze of heat and desire, their breaths mingling in a heady cocktail of need. Each kiss, each touch, sent electric currents coursing through their veins, making them dizzy with longing. The outside world blurred, leaving only the sharp, intoxicating sensation of skin against skin, lips against lips. Every nerve ending screamed for more, for the intimate connection that seemed both inevitable and urgent. It was a euphoric state, a heady mix of passion and desperation, where the only anchor was the feel of their bodies pressed together, and the insistent burning need to be as close as humanly possible.

“Taxi!” Harry shouted at a passing cab, waving frantically. He couldn’t wait for an Uber-not when every cell in his body screamed for Louis. As the taxi screeched to a halt, they stumbled inside, their hands already exploring, anticipation crackling between them. Harry knew he had to get home-pronto.

Ever since Delilah arrived, their once-passionate sex life had taken a back seat to diapers and sneaked blow jobs during nap time. Tonight, however, all that pent-up desire burst forth with a raw, primal extremity. As soon as they stumbled through the front door, their restraint shattered.

Harry’s fingers fumbled with Louis’ shirt, buttons flying as he tore it open, exposing skin that he immediately attacked with his lips. Louis responded with the same energy, his hands tugging at Harry’s belt, desperate to feel him. They moved through the house like a storm, knocking over a lamp, their bodies slamming into walls with the force of their need.

A vase too then shattered on the floor, but they didn’t pause, their kisses growing hungrier, sloppier, as they shed clothing with reckless abandon. Harry’s hands roamed Louis’ back, nails raking down, drawing gasps and moans. Louis’ fingers tangled into Harry’s hair, pulling him closer, mouths meeting in an explosive, desperate kiss.

They tumbled onto the bed, a tangle of limbs and lust, not caring that the sheets tore under their fervent movements. Harry’s hands pinned Louis’ wrists above his head, their eyes locking before they gave in completely to the wild unrestrained passion that had been simmering for so long.

It was a homecoming of their bodies, a rediscovery of the fierce, primal love that had been waiting just beneath the surface, ready to explode in a cacophony of broken objects, breathless moans, and the sweet, heady scent of their intertwined desire.

Harry took hold of his own dick, stroking it a few times as he watched Louis sit there, not so patiently waiting. Louis didn’t say a word but what he did do was open his mouth invitingly. Harry lunged forward, his thumb moving to Louis’ lips where he forcefully held open his jaw and used his other hand to guide his cock into his mouth.

“Fuck.” he breathed out.

The best part about tonight was that they didn’t need to be quiet. Louis had said to wreck him, and Harry had every intention of doing so. He held his head with both hands and began to fuck his mouth hard, Louis’ hands moving to Harry’s ass in an attempt to ground himself. The sounds of wet sucking and Harry’s groans filled the room, each thrust deeper and more desperate than the last.

Louis’ eyes watered from the intensity, but he loved every second of it. He hollowed his cheeks, sucking Harry in deeper, his tongue working expertly against the underside of Harry’s cock. Harry’s hips bucked uncontrollably, the sensation overwhelming him.

“God, Louis.” Harry moaned, his voice raw with need. “You’re so fucking good at this.”

Louis’ nails dug into Harry’s flesh, urging him on. The urgency, the sharpness of their passion, it was intoxicating. Harry could feel the familiar tightening in his balls, the build-up to his climax. He pulled back, panting, needing to slow down just to savour this moment a little longer.

But Louis wasn’t having any of it. He pulled Harry back to him, taking him deep again, his throat vibrating with moans that sent shockwaves of pleasure through Harry. Harry’s hands gripped Louis’ hair tighter, his thrusts becoming more erratic, more demanding.

“I’m gonna come.” Harry warned, his voice strained. But Louis only sucked harder, his eyes locking with Harry’s in a silent challenge, daring him to let go.

With a final, guttural groan, Harry came, his hips jerking as he spilled down Louis’ throat. Louis swallowed every drop, not stopping until Harry was completely spent.

Harry pulled out slowly, his body trembling. He looked down at Louis, who was gazing up at him with a satisfied, yet hungry look.

“You said to wreck you.” Harry whispered, breathless. “And now I’m getting started. Roll over.”

Louis climbed up further onto the bed, laying flat on his stomach. Harry slapped his ass, demanding “Get up.” Louis got to all fours, and without wasting a second, Harry spread open his ass cheeks, saliva hitting his crack as Harry licked a stripe before sucking and eating him out hard. Louis grabbed the sheets, squirming as pleasure took over.

“H…oh shit, babe.”

But Harry didn’t stop. He dug his tongue deeper into his walls, the sensation driving Louis wild. The wet, slick sounds filled the room, blending with Louis’ moans and Harry’s grunts of exertion. Louis’ entire body trembled with each thrust of Harry’s tongue, his muscles clenching in response to the intense pleasure.

“Fuck!” Louis cried out, his voice almost begging.

Harry’s tongue worked furiously, probing and teasing, bringing Louis to the edge over and over again. The sheer intensity of the moment had Harry’s cock growing hard again, pressing insistently against his thigh. He pulled back, looking at Louis’ flushed, needy face, and knew exactly what they both wanted.

“Turn over.” Harry commanded, his voice low and rough.

Louis quickly complied, flipping onto his back, legs spread wide in anticipation.

Even in this state it has not ever left his mind, not since the pregnancy with Delilah. After what they went through, it’s like it’s been embedded into Harry’s brain as he looks over at the bedside drawer, Louis too, following suit. Harry goes to move but Louis holds onto his thigh. He shakes his head gently without saying a word and Harry frowns.

“If it happens, it happens.” Louis says and he is pretty sure he hears a type of moan from Harry he has never experienced before.

Harry didn’t waste a moment more. He positioned himself between Louis’ legs, the head of his cock pressing against his entrance. With a swift, powerful thrust, he entered him, both of them gasping at the sensation.

“God, yes.” Louis moaned, his hands gripping Harry’s shoulders.

Harry didn’t hold back. He pounded into Louis with a relentless rhythm, each thrust deep and forceful. The bed creaked under their intensity, their bodies moving in perfect sync. Harry’s hands roamed Louis’ body, squeezing his hips, his thighs, his chest, as he drove into him harder and harder.

“More.” Louis begged, his voice breaking. “Please, Harry, more.”

Harry obliged, increasing his pace, his thrusts becoming almost brutal in their urgency. The sound of skin slapping against skin, their mingled moans and gasps, filled the room. Louis’ nails raked down Harry’s back, leaving red trails in their wake, but the slight sting only fueled Harry’s need.

Harry angled his hips, hitting that perfect spot inside Louis that made him see stars. Louis’ back arched off the bed, his mouth open in a silent scream of pleasure. Harry’s own release was building rapidly, the tight heat of Louis’ body driving him closer and closer to the edge.

“Louis.” Harry groaned, his voice strained. “I’m gonna come.”

“Do it.” Louis urged, his own orgasm teetering on the brink. “Come with me, H.”

With a final, powerful thrust, Harry buried himself deep inside, his release exploding through him. Louis followed seconds later, his body shuddering as he came, the sheer force of his orgasm leaving him breathless.

Harry collapsed onto Louis, both of them panting, their bodies slick with sweat. They lay there, tangled together, the intensity of their coupling still thrumming through their veins. Harry’s hand found Louis’, their fingers entwining as they came down from the high, the world outside forgotten in the aftermath of their passion.

“God that felt good not having to listen out or watch the door.” Harry laughs.

🚨

Louis shot up quickly, glancing at the clock to see it was already 1:45 PM. They were due to collect Delilah from his mother’s house at 3. His head pounded from the hangover, and for some reason, all he could think about was eggs.

“Oi.” Louis nudged Harry, who was snoring loudly beside him. “Come on, love. We need to get moving.” Louis said softly, brushing a strand of hair from Harry’s face.

But there was no way Harry was going to move yet. Smirking, Louis slid back the covers and headed for a shower, hoping the hot water would clear his sore head.

The steam enveloped him, washing away the remnants of last night’s escapades. He let out a deep sigh, the water pounding on his shoulders like a much-needed massage. He leaned against the cool tiles, reflecting on how wild the night had been, the memory of their passionate encounter still fresh in his mind.

It took exactly one minute and thirteen seconds before Louis knew it had worked. He heard the bathroom door creak open but remained quiet as he felt Harry step in behind him.

“Morning.” Harry’s raspy voice sent shivers down Louis’ spine, making him momentarily forget they were running behind.

“I tried to wake you, but-”

“But you knew I’d wake the minute I sensed you were gone from the bed, you sneaky bugger.” Harry murmured, letting his hands roam up Louis’ arms.

Louis stilled, then turned around to face him. “ Well it worked didn’t it and I’m afraid not, sunshine.“ Louis tried denying Harry’s obvious desire. “We need to get ready, have something to eat, and go to Mum’s house.”

But Harry wasn’t listening. One of his hands moved from Louis’ torso all the way down, both their eyes trailing its path as if hypnotized.

And that’s how Louis caved.

After their shower, one that took a 17 minute detour, they dressed quickly, opting for comfort over style, and made their way to the kitchen. Louis cracked a few eggs into a pan, the sizzling sound and familiar aroma bringing a small sense of normalcy. As he cooked, he couldn’t help but smile, thinking of Delilah’s excited face when they pick her up.

Louis handed him the plate of eggs. “Here, this might help with the hangover.”

Harry took the plate, a grateful smile tugging at his lips. “Thanks, babe.”

As they ate, the events of the previous night slowly faded, replaced by the anticipation of seeing their daughter. They finished their breakfast, got ready, and headed out to pick her up, the hangover and wild night now a fond memory.

They headed to Jay’s house, planning for a brief visit, but unexpectedly ended up spending the entire afternoon. This suited Harry just fine; his hangover left him barely wanting to move. He sprawled out on the Tomlinson’s couch, letting the twins ramble on about their friendship circle drama. Their animated chatter provided a strange comfort, a distraction from his pounding headache.

Meanwhile, Louis took the opportunity to play with Delilah, enjoying the much overdue bonding time. The little girl’s giggles filled the room as Louis chased her around, both of them delighting in the playful reprieve. Jay watched them with a soft smile, memories of Louis at that age playing vividly in her mind.

Eventually, Louis settled down for a heart-to-heart conversation with his mother. They sat at the kitchen table, sipping tea as Jay shared updates about family and reminisced about old times. Louis found solace in her words, a sense of grounding that he hadn’t realized he needed so badly.

As the evening approached, Delilah began to get antsy. She tugged at Louis’ shirt, her eyes pleading to go home. Louis looked over at Harry, who had dozed off despite the twins’ incessant chatter. He smiled at the scene, then gently roused Harry.

“It’s time to go.” Louis said softly.

Harry blinked awake, giving a groggy nod.

“Yeah, let’s head out.”

They gathered their things, saying their goodbyes. Delilah clung to Louis as they walked out the door, her small arms wrapped tightly around his neck. The day had been a mix of relaxation and rejuvenation, a much-needed break from their usual chaos.

“Thanks for today.” Louis said, breaking the silence as they drove along. “I think we all needed it.”

Harry turned to him, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah, we did. It was good to see you and your mum talking.”

Louis nodded, his heart feeling lighter. Despite the unexpected length of their visit, it had been a good day.

When they hit the main road, the gentle sway of the car lulled Delilah into a contented state. She was nestled in her booster seat, her wide eyes taking in the passing scenery with eager curiosity as the night time lights began to sparkle. As they approached the junction, Louis suggested the idea of takeaway for dinner, a notion that instantly sparked excitement in their daughter.

“Can we get McDonald’s? Please.”

Her little hands clapped with glee at the thought of the big golden arches, her mouth already salivating the taste of a cheeseburger happy meal.

Harry, behind the wheel, didn’t need to check with Louis first. Not once in the entire time he has known him has he ever declined an offer of McDonalds. He glanced at her through the rearview mirror with a fond smile.

“Sure thing, sweetheart. What would you like? You can get whatever you want”

“Whatever I want?”

Delilah’s face lit up as she pondered her options, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. With a burst of enthusiasm, she requested to order her meal herself, a request that filled Louis with pride at her burgeoning confidence.

“Of course, darling.” Harry replied, indulging her request despite his misgivings.

As they pulled up to the McDonald’s drive-through, Delilah leaned forward eagerly, her voice clear and bright as she addressed the speaker box. Louis watched on with a mix of amusement and adoration, marvelling at her growing independence.

“Welcome to McDonald’s, what can we get for you?” came the cheery voice through the speaker.

Without missing a beat, Delilah seized the opportunity with mischievous glee.

“EVERYTHING! ONE OF EVERYTHING.”

Her declaration and laughter bubbled up like music in the car. Harry exchanged a knowing glance with Louis, that letting her do this had been a bad idea. But their hearts were full of love for their spirited daughter, even as they braced themselves for the inevitable order negotiations that would soon follow as the worker, clearly confused, questioned them.

“I am sorry, did you just say everything?”

Harry panics.

“No, well yes, but no. I am so sorry, that was my young daughter who was just wishful thinking, let me start again.”

As Harry orders their items, Delilah slumps back into her chair muttering something along the lines of “ You said whatever I wanted. I wanted everything. That’s not fair.“

As they waited for their order, Delilah struck up a conversation.

“Are you going to be home tomorrow, Daddy and Papa? Where do you go all the time, anyway? I love Grandma Anne and Jay, but… I love you two more. I miss you all the time.”

Yep, that came out of nowhere.

Exchanging glances, they were taken aback by Delilah’s candid remark. This was a discussion they had been evading, and the rationale behind it was unclear. Perhaps they were apprehensive about her reaction or the potential for exacerbating the situation if she failed to comprehend or accept it.

Just then, a teenage girl handed over their food through the small window, breaking the moment.

As invigorating as this brief excursion was, Louis glanced at Harry, who appeared to share similar thoughts as they departed from the drive through and commenced their journey back home.

It was time to tell Delilah who Saxon really was.

🚨

TWO DAYS LATER

Louis is outside laughing as he engages with his daughter who is a little hyperactive today. Harry watches them from the porch, feeling a deep warmth and contentment. Suddenly, he hears the sound of Louis’ phone ringing on the patio table. He glances at the screen and sees Gabby’s name flashing. Concerned, he picks it up.

“Hello, Gabby.” Harry answers, trying to mask his curiosity with a casual tone.

“Hi, Harry.” Gabby replies, her voice calm but carrying a hint of urgency. “I wanted to let you both know that the next visit will take place tomorrow. And, well, be prepared because the authorities believe it’s time for Saxon to have his first home visit.”

Harry feels a jolt of surprise, his mind racing. “Home visit? Tomorrow?”

“Yes.” Gabby confirms. “I’ll be there to support and facilitate the visit. Additionally, the day after, we need to attend a meeting to discuss Saxon’s progress.”

Harry is stunned, trying to process the rapid change in plans. “Okay, thank you, Gabby. We’ll get everything ready. Thank you for calling.”

Gabby offers a few more reassuring words before they hang up. Harry stands there for a moment, absorbing the news. He looks out at Louis and Delilah, still playing blissfully unaware of the impending change.

The whole time he walks across the lawn he keeps his eyes focused on his daughter, and when Louis notices his approach he pauses, sensing something is up.

“What’s wrong?” Because Louis knows that look.

Harry lets out a sigh.

“I just got off the phone with Gabby. She said the next visit is tomorrow, and… it’s going to be Saxon’s first home visit.”

Louis’ eyes widen in shock. “Tomorrow? Here? Already?”

Harry nods, understanding the mix of emotions playing across Louis’ face.

“Yes, Gabby will be here to support us, and the day after, we need to attend a meeting to discuss Saxon’s progress.”

Louis takes a moment, processing the information. He runs a hand through his hair, looking both anxious and hopeful.

“I can’t believe it’s happening so soon.”

Just then, Delilah, who had been quietly listening to the conversation, tugs on Louis’ pant leg. “Daddy, who is this boy?”

Harry and Louis exchange a look, realising they have a lot to explain to their daughter before Saxon arrives. Harry kneels down to Delilah’s level, giving her a gentle smile.

“Sweetheart, daddy and I have some exciting news.”

Harry plonks down onto the grass, Delilah falling down into his lap.

“Saxon is your brother.”

She jumps excitedly, Louis who is still standing watches on confused as she runs to him, her little arms wrapping around Louis waist, her lips pressing into his belly.

“Hello brother.”

Harry wants to burst out laughing because yes, there has been a massive misinterpretation somewhere. Louis pulls her back.

“Piggy, no sweetheart. There is no baby in there.”

Oh the disappointed look said it all.

“ What? But papa just said.“

Louis picks her up and sits her on his hip.

“He did say that yes, but he isn’t in my belly.”

“Why not? Peter at kindy said babies come from mummies and daddies’ bellies. Is that not right? Because Peter lies alot, one time he told Mrs Smith-”

Harry stands up dusting off the grass.

“Honey, focus and listen to daddy.”

“Peter was not lying baby, but your brother is a BIG brother. He did come from Daddys belly but he was born long before you were here. He’s going to come visit us tomorrow.”

Delilah’s eyes widened with curiosity. “I have a big brother? Where has he been then?”

And that’s the question Louis had no idea on how to answer. Louis lowers her down to the ground and kneels beside Harry, taking Delilah’s small hand in his.

“Yes, you do. And we’re very excited for you to meet him. He has just been..um..”

Harry knows he needs to step in here to help out. Louis looks ready to cry.

“He was on a very long holiday darling. He got a little lost but now he has found his way home. One day, when you are a lot older we will explain it more. But for now, we are all just glad he is safe and sound.”

Delilah looks between her parents, her innocent face filled with wonder. “Okay.” she says softly, nodding with acceptance, “I can’t wait to meet him.”

Harry and Louis share a tender glance, the enormity of the situation sinking in. They pull Delilah into a hug, feeling a mix of anticipation and hope for the days ahead.

Out of the silence, Delilah looks up at Harry, her little eyebrow raised.

“Peter said it’s the papas that put babies in mummies and daddies. Papa, why you not putting babies in my daddy? That’s a bit mean, Papa.”

Harry bursts into laughter, unable to hold it in.

“Oh, believe me, I want to!”

“HARRY!” Louis exclaims, swatting Harry’s chest, trying to stifle his own laughter.

“Jesus.” Louis mutters under his breath.

“What’s Jesus got to do with it?” Delilah asks, tilting her head. “Because Peter said his mummy screams that in the bedroom and then not long later she has a baby, so-”

“OH MY GOD. Delilah!” Louis cuts her off, his face turning bright red. “What kind of conversations are happening at your kindy? Definitely time to talk to your teacher I think. Bloody hell.”

Delilah’s mouth drops open in shock.

“That’s naughty! We’re not allowed to say ‘bloody hell’ at kindy!”

Louis can’t believe how this conversation has spiralled.

“Well, guess what? Little girls like you aren’t allowed to say it at home either.” he says, trying to sound stern but failing to hide his smile. “Now, let’s go wash your hands before we eat.”

“Fine. But only if Papa stops being lazy and gives you more babies, where do you get them from anyway Papa? The supermarket or the mall?”

Louis pinches the bridge of his nose, exasperated.

“No one is having any more babies.”

Delilah stamps her foot defiantly.

“Why not? Are they too expensive?”

Harry nods with a large smirk.

“Oh yes, baby girl, very, very expensive.”

“Ooooh…okay. Well, maybe when I get pocket money one day, I’ll save up for one!”

Louis starts walking inside, muttering under his breath.

“Yeah, I’m out.”

Harry giggles, playing with her little pigtails.

“Good idea, sweetheart. Better get yourself a money box…a really big one.”

🚨

Louis had tossed and turned all night. He wasn’t excited for today’s visit; he was nervous. He had spent all evening cleaning the house, too full of adrenaline to even comprehend sleeping. Harry, on the other hand, had slept soundly. When he got up, he was surprised to see Delilah up, fed, and dressed by 8:00 a.m. Louis was leaning against the kitchen counter, biting his nails when Harry walked in.

“Darling, you need to relax. I really wish you would have slept better.” Harry’s voice was calm and soothing, but Louis just continued nibbling away at his nails.

“He’ll be here soon. Thirty minutes.” Louis’ voice was tight with anxiety.

Harry walked over and hugged him, trying to ease his tension.

“Don’t worry about it, everything will be fine.”

Time seemed to fly by, and when the doorbell finally rang, Louis froze. He looked at Harry, who took his hand.

“Breathe. We got this.”

Louis smiled back.

“Oh god, our boy is home.”

Opening the door, the first thing Louis noticed was how scared Saxon looked. It was the first time seeing him so high-strung. Gabby stood next to him, her usual cheerful self.

“Good morning, everyone!” she greeted, trying to lighten the mood.

But before they could even get through the door, tiny feet came racing through the house. Delilah’s little body collided with Saxon’s as she hugged him tightly.

“Big brother is home, yayyy! Oh, you are the big brother right?” she squealed with delight.

There was a moment of stunned silence. Delilah, still holding him, pulled back and looked up at him with wide eyes. “You are pretty, just like daddy.”

Unlike usual times, Saxon didn’t shy away. Instead, his eyes met Louis’, and somehow it spiked the initial concern of how this was going to go. Louis felt his heart pound as he saw the fear and uncertainty in his son’s eyes.

Saxon glanced back at Delilah and then again at Louis. In that moment, Louis’ nerves were shot, but he knew they had to all make this work somehow.

Was he going to accept Delilah? Would he ignore her instead? What if he didn’t like their home?

Well, he was about to find out.

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Now, this story has already reached 180,000 words. While I still have some dramatic elements to incorporate, I am facing a dilemma. I would like to know your opinions on whether the story is becoming excessively long. Should I omit some of the planned content and conclude it sooner, or should I continue with my original plan and allow the story to progress naturally? Based on my estimations, there are approximately 4 to 5 substantially long chapters remaining. Are you okay with this or shall I cut it short?

??????

Chapter 21 - A Misunderstanding

A/N

11k word chapter.

This follows on right from where it took off.

Again, don’t hate him. 😬

’ The worst kind of distance between two people, is that of a misunderstanding.“

🚨

Saxon stood hesitantly at the doorway, his gaze sweeping the room with quiet curiosity. Gabby, sensing his apprehension, gave him a gentle nudge, urging him to step inside. As he moved forward, his eyes took in the modest collection of furniture-a worn but cosy sofa, a wooden coffee table adorned with a few reading books, and a small, faded rug that added a touch of warmth to the space. The room, though simple, had an inviting charm that put him slightly at ease.

It was a stark contrast to Chris’ expansive home, which exuded wealth with its grandeur and abundant decor, that one would expect from someone who owned multiple businesses and buildings. Chris had always lived lavishly, surrounded by luxury and possessions that spoke of affluence. Despite experiencing such wealth, Saxon had never grown accustomed to it or taken it for granted. He prided himself on staying grounded, appreciating simplicity and genuine connections over material wealth. As he stood there, memories of his old lifestyle flooded his mind, contrasting sharply with the humble setting before him.

He soon became acutely aware of everyone’s eyes on him, particularly Louis, who noticed the hard swallow Saxon took, a clear sign of nervous anxiety. Thinking quickly on his feet, Louis decided to intervene.

“Gabby, would you like a cup of tea?”

It had allowed him to smoothly redirect attention away from his son, in hopes of defusing the nerves.

Smiling politely, Gabby accepted.

“Yes please, I would love one.”

“Harry.” Louis hinted.

Louis nodded towards the kitchen, silently directing Harry. Though hesitant and concerned about leaving Saxon alone with Delilah, Harry trusted Louis’ judgment. As Harry and Gabby moved towards the kitchen, Louis waited a moment, then turned his attention back to Saxon and Delilah, ready to step in if needed. As he had anticipated, he noticed Saxon visibly relax, just in time to see him lean down to Delilah’s height.

“Well, you must be Piggy then.” he said with a warm smile, instantly feeling the love as he observed Delilah’s face light up.

“How do you know my nickname?” Delilah asked curiously.

Having been without siblings or other children to play with for an extended period of time, Saxon was eager to engage and have someone other than an adult to converse with, so he happily played along.

“What? Are you telling me that’s not your real name?” Saxon asked, acting surprised.

Delilah giggled.

“No, silly! My name is Delilah. Do you have a nickname?”

Saxon’s smile wavered slightly.

“Oh, um… I don’t have one.”

Delilah seemed to sense it was a sensitive subject as she pointed over to the lounge room.

“That’s okay, I can think of one later. You wanna watch this with me?”

Looking over at the tv, he wasn’t too fond of the idea of watching peppa pig at his age, but to hell with it, he smiled and offered out his hand.

“Ok.”

Louis, Harry, and Gabby lingered in the kitchen for a good ten minutes, engaging in small talk about the weather and other topics they could muster up. Louis found himself on the verge of suggesting they return to the lounge room when Saxon appeared at the doorway.

“Excuse me.” He began tentatively, “I don’t mean to interrupt, but um… is it okay if I have a glass of water please?”

Louis jumped at the opportunity, eager not to miss a chance to engage with him again.

“Yes, of course! Sorry, I should have offered you one earlier.”

He reached for a glass out of the cupboard and held it under the tap. As he did, Saxon gazed out of the kitchen window.

“Are you feeling better now?” Saxon asked casually, though Louis didn’t sense the keen observation behind the question.

Louis turned off the tap and handed the glass to him, catching the slight hesitation in his own voice as he replied.

“What do you- Oh… Ahem Yes, much better, thank you.”

Saxon, young but perceptive, detected the hesitation and the initial confusion in Louis’ response. He knew it had been a lie and it stung.

“That’s good then.” Saxon replied quietly, but you could hear the hint of hurt in his voice.

“I’m really sorry about not being there that day, but I’m hoping today we can-”

He was interrupted by a gentle tug on his jumper. Delilah stood beside him, looking up with hopeful eyes.

“Can I have one too, Daddy, I’m thirsty.”

With a warm smile, he kneeled down to Delilah’s level.

“Of course, sweetheart.” Louis replied softly, ruffling her pigtails affectionately. He then turned back to Saxon, his expression sincere.

“Let’s make today count, alright?” He whispered over at his son.

Saxon met his gaze, nodding slightly. A sense of mutual understanding passed between them, unsaid yet distinctly perceptible.

Louis handed Delilah her own glass of water, feeling a renewed sense of purpose and determination.

“Saxon, would you be interested in a tour of the house? I believe there are several notable features that may be of interest to you.” Gabby proposed from her seat at the kitchen table, drawing everyone’s attention. Harry, always quick and enthusiastic, jumped to his feet.

“I think that’s a great idea. We can start with the backyard if you like.”

Saxon skulled the remainder of his water and gave Harry a forced but polite smile, ready to follow his lead. Harry, however, didn’t notice Louis’ subtle reaction-a slight frown of disappointment and sadness that he had quickly concealed. Louis sighed quietly and joined them, taking Delilah’s hand and trailing behind as they moved towards the back door.

As they stepped outside, the warm sunlight bathed the garden, highlighting the lush greenery and blooming flowers. Delilah let go of his hand and ran ahead, laughing and showing Gabby all the places where she likes to play, while Louis walked more slowly, his mind preoccupied. He couldn’t help but glance at Saxon, who appeared to be feigning interest and enthusiasm despite his evident lack of engagement in Harry’s discourse on their seasonal flowers. What he did pay attention to was the way Saxon looked around, as if discovering many things for the very first time.

He watched as Harry enthusiastically pointed out various features of the yard-the old oak tree perfect for climbing, the vegetable garden they had been nurturing, and the cosy patio where they often had family meals. Saxon nodded and smiled politely, trying to engage but clearly not interested.

As they continued their exploration, Saxon respectfully reached out and touched the flowers that were blossoming further off in the corner.

“Who grew these? They look pretty.” His voice was so soft with curiosity as if scared to even ask. Harry quickly glanced at Louis, understanding the significance behind those particular flowers.

Louis hesitated, unsure how to explain. He walked closer, his movements gentle. Saxon looked at him, inquisitiveness evident in his eyes.

“Actually, it was you.” Louis said.

“Me?” Saxon asked, surprised.

Louis reached out and skimmed a leaf with his fingers, recalling the memory.

“Yes. You were only two years old. You picked out the little seedlings at the store, and every morning, watering them was always the first thing on your agenda.”

Louis watched as Saxon stared at the flowers, his brow furrowed in concentration, trying hard to remember. When Saxon finally looked back at Louis with a sad smile, it was clear that there was no recollection. Louis’ heart ached, knowing that none of it had come back to him.

After a moment of silence, Harry gently led everyone back inside the house. He began showing them around the bottom level, pointing out various rooms and features. Just as Harry was about to show them upstairs, he noticed Louis zoning out a little. Realising he had unintentionally taken over again, Harry walked over to him and made an announcement.

“Saxon, Louis can take you upstairs while I make Delilah a sandwich.”

“I didn’t ask for a-” Delilah started, but Harry glared at her, making her eyes widen. “I mean, I am kind of hungry.”

Harry leaned in to whisper to him under the pretence of a hug.

“I am so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to take over. I just got so excited and carried away. I’m sorry.” He pecked Louis’ temple, and they shared a knowing look.

Louis nodded and smiled, grateful for Harry’s understanding. “Let’s go.” he said out loud, patting Saxon’s back as he led the way upstairs. Both of them felt anxious, especially about one room in particular. Louis took a deep breath, bracing himself to confront his own memories while trying to help Saxon reconnect with his past.

Louis led Saxon upstairs, showing him the bathrooms, his and Harry’s room, and Delilah’s room. Saxon’s face lit up with a wide smile when he saw how pretty Delilah’s room was. However, when they approached the last room at the end of the hall, Louis hesitated, fear and uncertainty evident in his expression. Saxon, sensing the tension, looked at Louis with nervous anticipation.

“That’s my room, isn’t it?” Saxon asked, and all of a sudden it wasn’t only Louis feeling nervous.

Louis smiled gently down at him.

“It is. But we don’t have to-”

Saxon interrupted, his tone resolute yet difficult to read.

“No, I want to.”

As they reached the door, Louis stopped when his hand touched the doorknob.

“I haven’t been in this room much since you were taken from me. It hurt too much to go in there. I’m telling you this because it will help you understand why your room looks the way it does. But remember, we can decorate it however you want.”

Saxon kept his eyes fixed on the handle.

“Okay.”

Louis opened the door, stepping aside to let Saxon walk in first. He stood frozen at the door frame, watching his son return to his room after all these years, a sight he was so sure he would have never witnessed again. This was what he had wanted from the very beginning, what he had dreamed of. Saxon looked back at him, confused as to why he hadn’t entered. Louis smiled, realising that the promise he made to himself all those years ago-to not come back into this room until his boy was home-was finally fulfilled.

With a deep breath, Louis stepped into the room. It was exactly as he remembered it: the small bed with the themed comforter, the shelves filled with toys and books, everything perfectly preserved from the day Saxon was taken. Saxon looked around, taking in the sight of his old room, a mix of slight recognition and unfamiliarity on his face.

Louis watched as his son walked over to the bed, running his fingers over the soft fabric of the comforter. “It’s like a time capsule sort of.” Saxon said quietly.

“Yes, it is.” Louis replied, his voice trembling slightly. “I couldn’t bring myself to change anything. It was my only way of holding onto hope that I might one day see you again.”

Saxon turned to look at him, a faint smile playing on his lips. “ I don’t remember any of this, but thank you for keeping it this way.“

Louis nodded, feeling a mixture of relief and sadness.

“That’s perfectly okay. We can make it your own now, just as you want it.”

As they stood there, father and son, in the room that had held so many memories and so much pain, they both felt a sense of healing. It felt like it was the beginning of a new chapter, one where they could rebuild and create new memories together. And this time… it wasn’t just only Louis’ thoughts either.

Returning downstairs, Delilah was itching for attention.

“Can I show Sax-o my scooter out front, Papa?” Delilah asked, her voice filled with excitement.

Everyone looked at her, puzzled, while Saxon just smiled warmly at her.

“Who is Sax-o?” Harry asked, voicing the confusion of the group.

“I am.” Saxon replied when he realised, walking over to Delilah and gently tousling her little pigtail.

“I’d love for you to show me.” he added.

Delilah squealed in delight, then leaned closer to Saxon’s ear.

“Do you like your nickname then?”

“I do.” He replied, and if Louis’ heart nearly combusted at that moment, well… so be it.

Delilah raced up and down the sidewalk in front of their house, her scooter gliding effortlessly.

“Look how fast I can go, Sax-o!” she shouted, her voice filled with excitement.

“Slow down!” both Louis and Saxon called out in unison, their concern mirroring each other’s perfectly. Harry let out a laugh to himself at how much alike they were, but Louis couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. While he was relieved that Chris had never physically harmed his son, he knew Saxon had been so sheltered and hidden away from life that he was now obsessively scared of everything.

Suddenly, Delilah’s expression changed, fear crossing her face as she sped back towards them, even though she hadn’t gone far. She clung to Louis’ leg, puffing out air during her panic.

“What’s wrong with her?” Saxon asked, his brow furrowed with concern.

They all looked to where Delilah was staring and saw Old Man George coming out of his front door. He walked to his letterbox and collected his mail.

“Who is that?” Saxon asked, making sure to trail George’s every move.

Harry smiled.

“ A…..friend.“

And boy did that feel weird to say.

“Just raise a hand and wave politely, like this.” He demonstrated, and Saxon and Louis followed suit.

“It’s a nice day out, lovely weather, innit?” Harry called out.

George nodded and smiled, though his expression faltered when he noticed Saxon. Something changed in his face; maybe suggesting a genuine sense of happiness, relief, and possibly even a touch of nostalgia.

He waved back with a smile, raising his voice to be heard. “Be careful on that thing!” he called out, his finger pointing at Delilah’s scooter. The bright pink scooter, adorned with stickers, wobbled slightly under her hold. Satisfied that she had heard him, he turned and headed back inside, the door creaking as it closed behind him.

“Well, he is creepy.” Saxon’s remark elicited laughter from the group, however, Louis didn’t miss the way Saxon had shuffled a little closer towards him.

“Yeah, he is a little. He can be a bit much at times, but he’s not so bad after all, is he, love?” Louis had replied to Saxon, but his words were directed towards Delilah. He gently caressed her back as she began to relax once more.

“Do you want a turn?” Delilah asked, handing her scooter over to Saxon. He stared at it, unsure of what to say or do.

The scooter appeared to be undersized for his stature, yet he expressed a strong desire to operate it. He was unsure whether the scooter was sufficiently sturdy enough to withstand his weight, but he was also concerned about disappointing Delilah if he said no. After all, he was attempting to make a favourable impression.

“Umm.” Saxon murmured, glancing at Harry for guidance.

Harry shrugged, offering a reassuring smile. “I’m sure it will be fine. We can buy you your own as well, if you like.”

Saxon hesitated for a moment before tentatively gripping the scooter’s handle. Despite its smaller appearance, he couldn’t contain the excitement he felt from giving it a whizz.

“Thank you.” he said, his voice earnest. “ I never had one of these, I was always told they were too dangerous.“

Louis desperately wanted to hug him, but he held back, observing Harry with a discreet shake of his head. The gesture conveyed his frustration and sadness that his child had been deprived of such a simple, yet typical childhood experience.

“Go ahead.” Harry encourages.

As the two siblings played, Saxon attempted to ride the small scooter while Delilah cheered him on. Harry and Louis found themselves taking a step back. They stood side by side fondly observing the scene before them.

“He’s trying so hard.” Louis said quietly, his eyes never leaving Saxon.

“He’s doing great.” Harry replied, wrapping an arm around Louis’ shoulders. “This is good for both of them.”

Louis nodded, feeling a swell of emotion. “It’s just… he’s missed so much. I want to give him everything he never had.”

“And we will.” Harry assured him. “One step at a time. Look at them-they’re already bonding.”

Saxon, wobbling slightly on the scooter, managed a few careful glides before stopping and laughing. She beamed up at him, clearly delighted to share her favorite toy with her big brother.

“You’re pretty good at this, Sax-o” Delilah praised, her eyes shining with admiration.

“Thanks, Piggy.” Saxon replied, using the nickname he had heard Louis and Harry use so often. He handed the scooter back to her.

“Your turn again.”

As Delilah took off, zipping back and forth on the sidewalk, Saxon turned to look at Louis and Harry. Seeing their smiles, he felt something, something he wasn’t so sure on…..was it a sense of belonging that he hadn’t felt in a long time? Or maybe it was… freedom .

“You’re doing great.” Harry called out to him.

“Thanks, Harry.”

But it seemed Harry was enjoying this moment more than Louis, who looked deep in thought, and he was.

Placing a supportive hand on Louis’ back, Harry tried to help him relax.

“Stop stressing babe, let’s enjoy the fact that our boy is home. You can do this sweetheart. Breathe, just breathe. Look at them Lou, how beautiful is this?”

Louis nodded, taking a deep breath before glancing over at Saxon, who was listening to Delilah chatter away, happily allowing the little girl to talk his ear off.

It was refreshing to see Saxon being kind to her, but that was the issue that Louis couldn’t help thinking about, that nagging doubt lingering in the back of his mind.

Was Saxon genuinely being nice? Or was there something else behind his actions? Louis was concerned about his overall intentions. Was he aware that he would soon be residing with them? He had been informed, he was certain of it. So was he planning to go through the official requirements just to run away as soon as he had the chance? Or was he intent on making Louis’ life miserable from the inside, to live in their house and make his life a living hell, when Gabby was out of sight? Alternatively, was Saxon merely a hurt, confused boy who spoke unfiltered, speaking without thinking, acting out when things got tough-that of a typical child of his age?

He had no clue what the future held, but for now, Louis watched as his daughter’s face lit up, mirroring Saxon’s joy. Seeing Saxon laughing and smiling right here in their home brought Louis to the brink of tears.

Because so far, so good.

But he knew all too well how quickly things could change.

As Harry walked back to speak with Gabby, who was sitting on the front porch, Louis continued to watch and listen, savouring the fleeting moment of happiness shared between his children.

And then it happens. It shifts and changes in the blink of an eye.

“NO HE IS NOT!” Saxon yells at Delilah, his face flushed with anger.

“YES HE IS!” Delilah shouts back, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Louis glances back at the porch, realizing that Harry and Gabby had retreated inside.

Shit.

It’s all up to him to deal with this now. He runs over and crouches down, trying to understand the situation.

“What’s going on?” he asks, lifting Delilah into his arms as she reaches up for him.

“Saxon said you’re not his dad. But you said you were!” Delilah sobs, clinging to Louis.

“I already have a dad.” Saxon mumbles, his words fueling Delilah’s anger.

“My Daddy is your daddy! He said so. YOU ARE LYING!” she cries.

Louis feels at a loss for how to handle this. Before he can muster up any words, Delilah makes a mistake that Louis knows will have lasting consequences.

“Make him go back on his holiday, Daddy. I don’t want him here. He is mean.”

“Delilah!” Louis snaps, but she wriggles free from his arms and sprints inside. As he turns back to Saxon, he realises his son has moved a few feet away and is now sitting on the grass.

Louis walks over and sits down beside him, close but not too close.

“She didn’t mean that.” Louis begins. “She’s only young and doesn’t understand.”

Saxon, keeping his eyes fixed on the blades of grass in his hands, quietly lets his emotions unfold.

“Yes, she did. And I get it. That was my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault, she-”

“Yes, it was!” Saxon snaps back, lifting his head to stare into Louis’ eyes.

“Now she’s going to hate me, just like you do. I want to go home…wherever that is.”

Saxon is struggling and feeling vulnerable and hating every moment of it. The last person he wants to see him like this is Louis. He doesn’t want Louis to see him cry, to witness just how hurt and foolish he feels. For reasons he can’t fully grasp or understand, Saxon has consistently experienced a strong desire to impress Louis, despite not fully comprehending the reasons behind this urge. Unfortunately, this pursuit has consistently resulted in frustration and emotional distress for both of them. The interactions between himself and Louis have been characterized by a sense of difficulty, sadness, and hurt, and Saxon is unable to discern the underlying causes behind those feelings.

But what he does know, is that any second now Louis will try to comfort him, and he can’t let that happen now. He will not permit Louis to demolish the barriers he has spent so long diligently constructing since his separation from his father. Furthermore, Saxon may subconsciously harbour a premonition that Louis will be the one to penetrate his defences and persuade him to disregard his father all together. Counsellors he can handle, but something tells him it is Louis who will be the one to break him and he can’t have that.

Louis reaches out to touch his arm, and Saxon physically jumps further away. It hurts Louis, because Harry touches him all the time.

“Don’t touch me! I DON’T LIKE YOU!”

And there it is. The words Louis somehow knew he would hear soon enough.

They sat in silence, both heads hanging low. Louis’ mind raced, trying to find the right words to express how he felt. He swallowed hard and finally attempted to fix it.

“Believe it or not, I don’t blame you for being mad at me. But to hate me… hate is a pretty strong word. Whatever makes you feel this way, I truly apologise.”

Saxon felt a profound sense of internal distress. Despite his emotional turmoil, he believed that harboring animosity towards Louis and hating him was necessary to facilitate his own coping mechanism. Given that he felt Chris was his father, Saxon could not reconcile his happiness with these individuals while his own father remained isolated and alone in jail. His dad loved him, he knew he did, and he was determined not to neglect him, no matter how often he found himself wanting Louis to like him, to hold him.

None of this made sense, not even to Saxon himself. The poor little boy was confused and all over the place.

“Can you tell me why you hate me? You don’t have to, and I don’t mind if you keep it to your-”

“You’re trying to replace my dad. You’re taking me away from him, you are making me come here, but my dad will come back for me, I know he will. I was happy where I was, why couldn’t you have just left me alone. You will never replace him, Louis. I love him and miss him so much. I don’t know you!”

Louis wanted to yell, shout, and scream at the top of his lungs, “I am your dad!” But he didn’t. Instead, he fell silent.

Louis wanted to cry so badly it hurt. He had a decision to make. He could be firm and tell Saxon how it was, to suck it up and move on, or, he could play smart and put his son’s feelings before his own, and only hope to change things between them one day in the future. He looked up to the sky for answers, unaware that Harry was watching from the front lounge room, oblivious to what was transpiring on the lawn.

“I know you miss him, and I am sorry you’re going through all this.”

Louis pinched the inside of his palm, trying his hardest to suppress his tears. His next words were the hardest thing he has ever had to say in his entire life. His body trembled, and he couldn’t even look at Saxon when he said it.

“No one can replace the love and warmth that a parent brings. I’m grateful Chris looked after you and showed you so much love. I understand how weird this all must be for you, to be taken away from someone who cared for you for so long. Trust me, I know. But If you really feel that way about me, then I will leave you alone if that’s what you want. Because all I have ever wanted, Saxon, was for you to be safe and happy. If you want to ignore me, fight me, yell at me-whatever you need to do to feel better-then do it. I won’t retaliate. I will accept it. But I’ll never stop hoping that one day, you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me and let me in. I don’t want to replace Chris, that’s where you are wrong. I just want to get to know my son again.”

Saxon looked over at him, his feelings a chaotic mix. He hadn’t expected any of this.

Louis paused, his voice cracking as tears streamed down his face.

“You need to know, Saxon, that this tears me apart. Every harsh word, every moment you push me away-it feels like a knife being twisted in my heart. But I’ll endure it all for you. Because your happiness means more to me than my own pain. If pretending I don’t exist helps you heal, then I’ll do it. I know you don’t owe me anything, but please, give Harry and Delilah a chance. Harry missed the chance to know you, to love you as I did, and Delilah just wants a brother who loves her. I’ll fade into the background if that’s what you need. If you need me to just pretend in front of Gabby that everything is okay, I will do that for you. I will play along, no questions asked.”

A tear fell down Louis’ cheek, prompting him to stand up quickly and dust off his pants. Saxon was too emotionally stimulated to respond as he stared down at the grass. There was so much he wanted to say, but his tongue felt tied. His own eyes were brimming with tears as he heard Louis’ final words.

“I’ll do anything for you, anything you need, but know this: There is no other person on this planet who loves you more than I do, do you hear that Saxon, no one. And even if you hate me now, I’ll never stop loving you, never.”

Saxon didn’t hear Louis begin to walk away when he had murmured. “I don’t want that. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I-”

But when he looked up, wiping at his eyes, Louis was already back near the front door. Saxon’s heart ached with regret and confusion. He watched Louis’ retreating figure, feeling the crushing weight of his own words and the pain they had caused. For the first time, he realized how deeply his anger and hurt had cut-not just through his own heart, but through the heart of the one person he desperately wanted to like him, ironically, the same person who he was most afraid to truly get to know and possibly love.

As Louis entered the house, he leaned against the door, his body trembling with the effort to hold back his sobs. Harry, seeing his anguish from the kitchen, rushed to his side, lucky that Gabby was in the restroom.

“You okay. Delilah said-”

Louis shook his head, unable to speak, just needing a moment of reprieve because he felt like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest.

“It’s all good. He and Delilah had their first little tiff but everything is fine now. He just needed a minute on his own.” Even though he had whispered, his voice still broke.

“Call him in please, I don’t want him alone outside, we can have some snacks, I will get them ready. Where is piggy?”

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis, holding him tightly. “Well I didn’t expect them to fight so soon but here we are-” he laughed. “You did good out there. I’m proud of you. She is upstairs in the bathroom. So so bloody proud of you for handling that out there.”

Louis was dead inside.

Outside, Saxon sat on the grass, feeling a storm of emotions. He wanted to call out to Louis, to tell him he didn’t mean it, but the words wouldn’t come. He hugged his knees to his chest, feeling lost and alone. He didn’t know how to bridge the gap between him and the man who apparently loved him more than anything in the world.

As Gabby stepped back into the kitchen, she took the opportunity to strike up a conversation as Harry walked out the front door.

“Everything alright?”

Louis smiled.

“Yeah, he just got overwhelmed, but I think he will be fine.”

Just then Harry and Saxon walked in and joined them and Harry’s broad smile indicated to him that Saxon had not disclosed their previous discussion either, just like he knew he wouldn’t have.

Braving the fakest strong front, Louis smiled at him.

“Now that we had a nice little chat and sorted everything out, are you hungry?”

“I am hungry!” Comes from Delilah who comes skipping into the room. She looks at Saxon and frowns, disappointed that he is still there.

Saxon felt a deep pang of guilt for losing control and making her cry. He wanted nothing more than to apologize and make things right. Moving over to her, he got down on his knees to meet her eye-to-eye.

“I am so sorry for upsetting you, Piggy.”

“Don’t call me that. Only people who love me call me that.”

And that hurts him, the way she looks so saddened.

“I didn’t mean to upset you Delilah. Please, forgive me. I don’t like it when I upset people. I am really sorry.”

Saxon looked up and over at Louis, hoping Louis would see the apology reflected in his own eyes. Instead, he found Louis turned away, leaning his palms on the benchtop with his head lowered, a picture of defeat.

Delilah glanced over at Harry, who gave her a reassuring smile. She opened her arms wide and hugged Saxon tightly.

“ I forgive you.“

Harry and Delilah getting to hug him - 1 Louis - 0

Saxon, feeling a mix of relief and remorse, started to speak again.

“Louis, can I-”

But Louis, who was already hurt enough, turned around and bared a smile, interrupting gently.

“I’m glad we sorted it all out. Now Harry, can you please grab the muffins out of the fridge? I need a quick toilet break. I’ll be right back.”

Louis hurried to the bathroom, his composure crumbling the moment he shut the door behind him. He leaned heavily against the sink, gripping its edges as if to steady himself. His reflection stared back at him, a mirror to the pain within. Tears streamed down his face, each drop a testament to the overwhelming emotions he had been holding back. He allowed himself this brief, private moment to release the pent-up sorrow and frustration, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. After a few minutes, he splashed cold water on his face, the shock helping to ground him. Taking several deep breaths, he forced himself to regain control. Slowly, he straightened up, wiped his face dry, and practiced a brave smile in the mirror before stepping out of the sanctuary of the bathroom and returning to the front lounge room.

As he walked back in, he was greeted by the sound of laughter. Delilah was dancing around the room, a muffin in hand, scattering crumbs everywhere. Saxon sat nearby with a muffin in front of him, but he wasn’t eating it. Harry and Gabby were laughing about some show they were discussing, lost in their own world. Saxon looked at Louis with a sad, distant expression.

Louis forced a smile and approached him.

“You alright? Are you not hungry? If you don’t like it, I can happily get you something else.” he offered, pointing towards the kitchen.

“No, thank you. That’s kind of you to offer.” Saxon replied, his tone unusually formal, which only made Louis’ heart ache more because he sounds kind of scared.

Louis sat back down with Harry, maintaining a facade of happiness. For the next hour, he smiled and chatted, though his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t help but notice Saxon walking slowly past the pictures on the lounge room wall, clearly trying to get a better look without drawing too much attention.

Sensing his curiosity, Louis stood up and walked over to him.

“This one here.” he said, pointing to a framed photo. “This was taken on my birthday. We had such a big day. You were so full of chocolate birthday cake.”

Louis chuckled softly, remembering how bloated Saxon had been and reminding himself that this was all good for Gabby to see.

“But you still insisted on me reading you a bedtime story, even when you fell straight asleep before I could even start it.”

Saxon stared at the photo, his expression unreadable. Louis’ voice softened as he continued.

“You were such a happy little boy. Always smiling, always curious. I can still hear your laughter.”

Saxon glanced at Louis, his eyes filled with sorrow. He wanted to remember, to connect with the past and to what Louis was sharing, but it felt like he was trying to grasp at smoke.

Louis reached out, gently touching Saxon’s shoulder. “I know it’s a lot to take in. And I know things are complicated right now but, it will all work out, just you wait and see.”

It’s kind of funny how both of them turn to face Gabby, to make sure she is paying attention.

“Why are there no pictures of me with Harry? Did he not see me at all?”

Saxon was aware that Harry was not fully around in the beginning. He had overheard snippets of conversations, but he did not have a comprehensive understanding of the reasons behind it.

“Unfortunately, no.”

All Saxon could hear inside his head were Louis’ words echoing, ’ Give Harry and Delilah a chance .’ He bit his nail, lost in thought, before walking over to Harry.

“Where’s your phone?”

“Uh, in my pocket.” Harry fumbled to retrieve it, curiosity piqued. Handing it over, he watched as Saxon walked back to Louis.

“Can you please take our photo? It’s only fair if Harry has one of us too.”

Louis’ heart ached with a mix of emotions. He was glad to see Saxon making an effort, but it pained him that he wasn’t the one capturing a new memory with his son.

“Of course. Great idea.” Louis forced a smile as he watched Harry crouch down slightly, wrapping an arm around him. The way they both grinned and said “cheese” in unison was somewhat bittersweet.

“Thank you.” Louis whispered, his voice trembling. Saxon nodded slightly, though the sadness in his eyes didn’t fade. He handed the phone back to Saxon, who walked it back over to Harry.

Louis was aware that reestablishing their connection and repairing the damage to their fractured relationship would be a gradual process. However, in that particular moment, as they stood together before the photo wall, he permitted himself to engage in some optimistic contemplation. ’ One day.’ he internally said, and maybe, just maybe, that day would come sooner than he thought.

“Wait, do you want one too?”

Saxon’s timid voice was drowned out by Delilah’s squeal as Harry tickled her, leaving Louis oblivious to his son’s offer. When Louis shifted his focus back to Saxon, he noticed the boy’s lingering interest in the photos and decided to steer the conversation gently.

“Hey.” Louis said softly, trying to catch his son’s attention without being too forceful.

“Would you like to see more photo albums? I have a lot of pictures from when you were born.”

Saxon hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Sure, I think I’d like that.”

Louis smiled, feeling a wave of relief. “Great. Why don’t we all gather around the table? I’ll get the albums.”

“Oh, all of us? Okay.” Louis missed the slight drop in Saxon’s expression, the boy’s hope for a more personal moment fading.

Noticing the change in plans, Harry paused his conversation with Gabby.

“Sounds like a good idea.” he said, turning to Delilah. “Do you want to see some pictures too?”

Delilah, always eager, bounced over with excitement. “Yes! Are there baby pictures of me aswell?”

“Of course!” Harry replied, lifting her up into his arms.

As they settled on the couch, Louis brought out a couple of thick photo albums, their covers worn from years of use. He handed one to Saxon and sat down beside him, close but respectful of his space.

They opened the album together, the first page revealing a picture of a newborn Saxon swaddled in a blue blanket, with Louis beaming down at him.

“That was taken on your first day at home.” Louis explained, his voice gentle. “You were so tiny.”

“Who is that person?” Saxon asked.

“Oh, that is Oli, my best friend. You will meet him again one day, you used to love him.” And saying that elicits a large smile on Louis’ face.

“He has orange hair.” Delilah laughs. “I call him carrot head but he never finds it funny, daddy does though, don’t you, daddy?”

Louis leans over and bops her nose.

“Yes I do baby, because unlike uncle Oli I appreciate your little comedic humour.”

Saxon traced the edge of the photo with his finger, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“I was really that small?”

Delilah giggled. “ Look at your wrinkled face!“

As they turned the pages, the photos told a story of Saxon’s early years-his first steps, birthdays, holidays, and ordinary days filled with laughter and love. Louis narrated each picture, sharing anecdotes and memories, while Harry and Delilah chimed in with their own observations and questions.

Saxon listened, sometimes asking questions, sometimes just absorbing the memories. It was a quiet, comforting way to reconnect with his past and the family he was trying to understand again.

At one point, they came across a picture of Saxon and Louis at the park, both of them covered in ice cream. Saxon laughed, a genuine sound that warmed Louis’ heart.

“What happened there?”

Louis chuckled.

“You insisted on holding your cone by yourself, and it melted all over both of us. We had to run to the fountain to clean up.”

And that made him simply laugh again.

As the evening drew on, the atmosphere in the room softened. The tension eased as they bonded over the shared memories, and Saxon began to feel a bit more relaxed.

Harry suggested a simple dinner of chicken, salad and fruit, something light and easy. They all ate together, and the meal was punctuated with more stories and laughter. Even Saxon began to contribute, sharing snippets of his own memories with Chris, which Louis listened to with an open heart, despite the pain it caused him.

After dinner, as the sun began to set, they decided to watch a family movie. Louis chose a light-hearted animated film, something that wouldn’t be too intense but could provide a pleasant end to the day.

They all settled in the living room, the photo albums still open on the coffee table. Delilah cuddled up to Saxon, who seemed more relaxed now, his guard lowered just a fraction.

Louis watched his children, a mix of emotions swirling inside him. The day had been challenging and he knew there were many more hurdles to overcome, but for now, he was grateful for this moment of peace and togetherness.

As the movie played, Saxon glanced over at Louis and caught his eye. There was a hint of something new in Saxon’s expression-a tiny flicker of something, an apology maybe? Louis returned the look with a warm smile, his heart full of cautious hope.

As the credits rolled and the movie ended, the time for goodbyes came all too soon. Saxon stood at the front door with Gabby and Harry, the evening shadows lengthening outside. Louis, using the pretense of carrying Delilah up to bed, had already retreated upstairs. He had waved a quiet goodbye before disappearing, avoiding the formality of the farewell.

Saxon glanced around Harry, hoping Louis might come back down. But the hallway behind Harry remained empty. He swallowed his disappointment, trying to keep his emotions in check.

“See you next time, mate. You alright?” Harry asked, noticing how distracted he was.

Saxon managed a small smile.

“Yeah. Um, do I still get to ask a question?”

Gabby let out a laugh.

“Sweetheart, you can ask as many questions as you want, whenever you want. Isn’t that right, Harry?”

“Absolutely.” Harry confirmed, smiling warmly at him.

Saxon looked back again, still not seeing Louis anywhere.

“When can I sleep here?”

Harry and Gabby exchanged surprised glances with Gabby speaking first.

“Well, today went really well. I mean, it’s up to Harry and Louis, but I don’t see why next week wouldn’t work, no, maybe the week after. How about that?”

Saxon stared at Harry, his face unreadable.

“Sorry, um, can I just run up and see Louis for a minute?” The boy asked.

Harry stepped aside with a reassuring nod.

“Sure. We’ll wait here.”

Saxon hesitated for a moment before dashing up the stairs. His footsteps echoed in the quiet house as he made his way to Delilah’s room, where he found Louis sitting beside her bed, softly singing a lullaby. The sight of his father, so tender and sweet, hit Saxon harder than he expected, because this here was what he had missed out on, what was taken from him, and only now is he slowly beginning to see it.

Louis looked up, surprised to see him there.

“Hey, buddy. Did you forget something?” He whispered as he ushered towards the exit.

Saxon nodded, feeling a lump form in his throat. “No I just… I wanted to say goodbye properly.”

Louis’ eyes softened as he closed Delilah’s door. “I’m glad you did. I’m sorry I didn’t come down.”

Saxon shifted awkwardly, not sure how to express the whirlwind of feelings inside him. He took a step closer, his voice barely above a whisper. “And maybe next visit…um, you and I could like, do something together, just you and me?”

Louis felt a surge of hope, though he tried to keep his excitement hidden.

“Of course, if that’s what you want.” Louis’ heart ached with a mix of sorrow and joy. “I’d like that very much.”

Saxon gave a small, almost shy smile.

“Okay. I really have to go. See you next week then.”

Louis nodded, his eyes glistening.

“See you next week.” Louis repeated.

Saxon turned and made his way back down the stairs, feeling a little lighter. As he rejoined Harry and Gabby at the door, he glanced back one last time. Louis stood at the top of the stairs, watching him with a look of profound love and unspoken promises.

“Ready?” Harry asked gently.

“Yeah.” Saxon replied, his voice steadier than it had been all day. “I’m ready.”

They stepped out into the cool evening, the promise of another visit, another chance to heal, lingering in the air.

🚨

Gabby’s office that they were led into by the receptionist was tucked away in a quiet corner of the building. As you stepped through the door, the first thing that greeted you was the gentle aroma of lavender, a soothing scent that seemed to permeate the air which made Louis scoff at the clique attempt to keep people calm and relaxed. Soft, neutral-coloured walls embraced the room, casting a serene ambiance under the warm glow of recessed lighting and although Louis was eager to hear the updates, this place, no matter how nice, always feels daunting.

In the centre of the room, two plush armchairs sat opposite Gabby’s chair, separated by a small, polished wooden coffee table adorned with a few carefully arranged magazines and a box of tissues. The chairs themselves were inviting, upholstered in a soothing shade of beige, their cushions plump and welcoming. They seemed to beckon visitors to settle in and open up. Against one wall stood a sleek, minimalist desk, its surface uncluttered and tidy, set neatly with an arranged array of pens and a notebook. A slender, elegant lamp softly illuminated the workspace, casting a focused pool of light on the desk’s surface.

The room was adorned with tasteful artwork - a serene landscape painting hung above the therapist’s desk, its soft colors and gentle brushstrokes offering a sense of peace and contemplation. On another wall, a series of framed motivational quotes and affirmations provided subtle encouragement and support.

Louis couldn’t help but take in all these details. It helped keep his brain focused instead of falling apart.

He looked left to where in the corners of the room, small potted plants thrived, their vibrant green leaves adding a touch of life and nature to the space. They seemed to thrive in the gentle, filtered sunlight that streamed through the partially drawn curtains, which allowed just enough natural light to brighten the room without intruding on the privacy of those within.

Everything in her office had been meticulously chosen to create an atmosphere of comfort, safety, and confidentiality. It was a place where clients could shed their burdens, express their thoughts, and explore their emotions under the gentle guidance of a compassionate professional. The office exuded a sense of calm assurance, promising that within its walls, healing and personal growth were not only possible but actively nurtured.

Harry and Louis had no idea what to expect from their meeting with Gabby today, and even Harry seemed nervous. As strange as it might sound, Louis found a certain comfort in this. Seeing Harry, typically the epitome of calm and collected, with an uncharacteristic edge of anxiety, made Louis feel less isolated in his own apprehension.

Harry fidgeted with his coffee cup, the tension palpable. Louis glanced at him, noting the slight crease in his forehead, the way his fingers tapped a restless rhythm on the table.

Then, the door opened, and Gabby walked in. Louis’ heart skipped a beat as he took in the sight of her. She looked more professional than usual, her hair neatly pulled back, a sharp blazer accentuating her poised demeanour. But what truly caught his attention were the folders - a thick stack of them, balanced precariously in her arms.

Louis shot a quick look at Harry, eyes wide with worry. Harry met his gaze, a flicker of concern crossing his features as well. Gabby placed the folders on the table with a decisive thud, the sound echoing in the room. She gave them a brief, tight smile, her usual warmth replaced by a focused intensity.

“Good morning.” she said, her tone brisk and efficient. Louis’ mind raced. The sheer volume of those folders was intimidating. He swallowed hard, wondering how on earth he was going to get through this. His anxiety spiked as he imagined the detailed, possibly daunting, discussions that lay ahead. He glanced at Harry again, seeking reassurance, and found a hint of it in the subtle nod Harry gave him. Despite his own nerves, Harry was ready to face whatever was coming, and that gave Louis a small measure of strength.

Gabby sat down, opening the first folder with a practiced ease, her movements crisp and deliberate. The papers inside rustled as she pulled them out, spreading them across the table in an organized fashion. Louis tried to keep his breathing steady, but his mind was bouncing with all sorts of questions. What could be in all those folders? What kind of questions or problems were they about to confront?

“As you both know, we have a lot to cover today.” Gabby began, her voice steady and authoritative. “I’ve compiled all the relevant documents and notes from our previous sessions, as well as the latest updates on your visits with your son.”

Louis’ stomach churned. He glanced again at Harry, who now had his game face on, looking more composed despite the initial nerves. Louis straightened in his chair, attempting to mirror Harry’s resolve. He couldn’t afford to let his anxiety get the better of him here, not now.

Gabby continued.

“First, let’s review the progress reports. We need to discuss how your son has been responding to your visits and any observations you and i have made during those times.”

She handed out detailed notes, pointing to various highlighted sections. Louis felt a wave of panic. He wasn’t sure he could handle dissecting every moment of their time with their son, especially if it meant confronting any shortcomings or missed opportunities. He glanced at Harry, who was already examining the documents with a furrowed brow. Louis forced himself to focus, reading through the observations and trying to make sense of them.

As Gabby walked them through the details, Louis found himself increasingly overwhelmed. The jargon, the intricate breakdowns, the constant references to previous sessions-all of it felt like a storm he couldn’t navigate. His mind kept drifting to the stack of folders, wondering what other challenges lay hidden within them.

“I think we can all agree that it’s no secret a strong bond has formed between you and Saxon, Harry. It’s heartening to see. He feels comfortable with you, as evidenced by his engagement, particularly during the session when he cried with you. Louis, there is still some work to be done, but you’re on the right path.”

Is it strange that Louis feels embarrassed? He had brought Saxon into the world, nurtured him, clothed him, and cared for him for years, only to lose him, reunite under challenging circumstances, discover his son’s lack of recognition, and contend with his resentment and now feel like an utter failure.

“Sorry, I will try to be-”

“Hey. Please don’t apologize. There’s no need for that.”

“And I second that.” Harry added quickly.

“Your relationship with Saxon is in no way less valid than Harry’s. It’s not a dead end, Louis; it’s simply a detour, taking the scenic route. That’s all.”

Louis nods but looks down at his jumper, fidgeting slightly. Louis felt a deep ache in his chest as he listened to Gabby’s words. Each mention of the bond between Harry and Saxon felt like a kick to the guts.

“…and this leads us to our next topic.”

Gabby’s voice broke through his thoughts. She picked up another folder, this one thicker than the last.

“We need to discuss the emotional and behavioural patterns we’ve observed and how you can best support your son moving forward.”

Louis’ heart sank. Emotional and behavioural patterns meant deeper, more complex issues. He felt a bead of sweat form on his forehead, and he wiped it away quickly, hoping no one noticed. Gabby continued to speak, her words a blur as Louis struggled to keep up.

But then, something shifted. Harry, sensing Louis’ struggle, leaned in slightly and whispered. “We’ve got this. One step at a time, remember.”

Louis nodded, feeling a small spark of confidence. He took a deep breath and tried to compartmentalize his anxiety. Gabby might have come in with a mountain of paperwork and a no-nonsense demeanor, but he and Harry were a team. They had faced tough situations before, and they could handle this one too.

As the meeting progressed, Louis began to find his footing. He asked questions when he didn’t understand, and slowly, the overwhelming mass of information started to make more sense. Gabby, despite her stern approach, proved to be thorough and clear in her explanations. Bit by bit, Louis felt the tension ease, replaced by a growing sense of determination.

By the time they reached the last folder, Louis was exhausted but more confident. They had made it through the progress reports, tackled the emotional and behavioural discussions, and even outlined future strategies for their visits. Gabby looked at them both, a hint of a smile softening her professional facade.

“You’ve both done well today.” she said, her tone slightly warmer. “We’ve covered a lot, but I’m confident we’re on the right track with your son. Now…about what we have learned from Saxon’s sessions.”

Gabby clears her throat and reaches for her water bottle.

And already Louis doesn’t like the sound of that, or maybe it was merely because of the way she had said it that makes Louis inclined to become anxious once more.

“I understand this is incredibly difficult, but I need to prepare you for what your son has endured based on the information we’ve gathered. Everything from here on out has been cleared by Detective Reign himself to allow me to disclose.”

Louis straightened up in his seat.

“Please, tell us everything you can. We need to know.” he said, his voice filled with urgency. “Can you tell me more about where he was kept and how Chris treated him?”

The questions had come out of nowhere, but Louis had been desperate for answers. His parental instincts demanded it.

“Sure. I can start from there. Keep in mind, this information is what we have gained from Saxon’s sessions and from some of Chris’ interviews. From what we’ve gathered, the conditions were extremely controlled. He had a strict schedule, likely regulated for every aspect of his day-meals, sleep, activities-all tightly monitored by chris.”

Besides Gabby’s voice the room is so eerily quiet.

“He was not allowed to interact with or even see anyone outside of Chris’ home, also enforced by restricting visitors.”

Louis frowned.

“Wait what? Is this part of those rules he was talking about?”

“Yes, I’m explaining some now. As you are probably aware of Harry, Chris was a very wealthy man. Now he could have had maids, butlers, nannies etc if he wanted to, but he didn’t. This was due to hiding Saxon and doing his best not to be caught. Again, limiting any unnecessary people in their lives.”

Harry simply nods in agreement. As far as Harry can recall, Chris used to be the owner of several buildings and businesses, which brought him considerable financial success and he faintly remembers how he used to use it all to his own advantage whenever he wanted something.

“As you may also know, he didn’t have a big family. He does have one brother who lives down in Australia who he hasn’t physically seen in years, but besides that, Saxon says it was him and Chris all the time. Except for one lady, who Chris had just started dating. Saxon said it was the first person he had ever brought home or even met, and that had only started happening a few weeks before the police stormed their house, so he didn’t really have a chance to interact with her either. “

As a parent, it was agonizing to hear about the struggles and pain his child had endured while not in his care. Every detail felt like a personal failure, a reminder of the trust Louis had yet to rebuild. The tears he fought to hold back stung his eyes, and he felt a profound sense of dread creeping back in.

“How long did they say he was held like this, like not seeing other people? I can’t imagine how it felt to be so isolated all the time. “ Harry asked.

“It appears to have been the entire time. He had very limited contact with anyone outside of his captor. Communication devices were strictly forbidden, so he couldn’t reach out for help. But by saying that, the lad didn’t know he even needed it. There was no schooling. Chris taught all that from home. On the contrary, Chris did a good job there, Saxon demonstrates a high level of intelligence and competence, which is a positive aspect to emerge from this situation.”

Louis fired out questions because this was breaking his heart.

“Oh god, our poor boy. Was he at least able to see outside, to know where he was? Was he allowed outside at all? Now I think about it, he looks around at traffic and other people like it’s all new to him. Had he not been to any shops, the cinema, playgrounds ?” and right then, Louis is unaware of the fact that this is the first instance in which he has uttered that particular word without experiencing a physical reaction of a shiver.

“That’s uncertain.” Gabby resumed. “It seems his captor took measures to prevent him from knowing his surroundings too much-windows were placed high up in rooms, he never spoke much of the outside world and all of that type of stuff. He simply told Saxon, it is not safe outside.”

Louis begins thinking back to their visits and seeing his eyes wander a lot, the way he seemed so interested in normal everyday things when they went on their walk. And to think how well he was handling the change and not saying anything… God his heart was hurting.

“Well, Chris really knew what he was doing didn’t he.” Harry spits out and that cloud of guilt re hits him.

“The thing is, Chris was good at orchestrating this. He may have held him on a tight leash but he loved Saxon and raised him well. As hard as it is to hear, he did really show him a lot of love, Saxon was adamant that he was never hurt or abused in any way. That Chris always gave him what he wanted, and never left him alone. He played games with him, read stories, watched movies, built forts, every loving activity a father could do indoors and in the backyard, he did it all.”

Harry scoffs at the word father.

Louis has no clue when he had started crying but he stands abruptly and walks over to the window looking outside to where he is watching cars pulling up at the traffic lights. Because fuck him, fuck Chris Hemmings with every ounce of his body because that was his parental right, they were memories and experiences that he should have had, ones that were stolen from him!

“So he just tricked Saxon into believing what he wanted him to, all this time.” Harry asked.

“We believe Chris used psychological manipulation and physical threats to enforce compliance if Saxon became questionable or too inquisitive. Your son had been forbidden from sharing any personal information, including their name and location. All communication devices (phones, radios, etc.) were strictly prohibited, this was to prevent the child from contacting anyone outside of captivity.”

All Harry and Louis could do was sit there in a stunned silence shaking their head back and forth.

“Any exposure to news or media that could potentially expose Chris’ situation or provide clues to their location were strictly controlled or denied. To make himself look good, Chris would allow some internet time but he would be right there beside him for every second of it, always pumping it into Saxon that the internet was a dangerous place.”

“Fucking hell.” Harry muttered and although it was meant only for himself everyone had heard it.

“More often than not, children may be given a false identity or name to use within the captivity, further preventing them from being identified if they were to somehow communicate with the outside world or to someone who might recognise them.”

Gabby takes a sip of her coffee and Louis’ intuitive side comes out and he knows something is coming.

“When Saxon was first found, guys, there was something we withheld from you but purely at Saxon’s request. At first we had every intention of telling you, but after more conversations with him progressed, Saxon asked to just let it go, he didn’t want to upset you two but we all feel, Reign, Garcia and myself included, believe you need to know, and well legally we need to tell you what is really being said anyway.”

Louis becomes fidgety because after everything he has already been told today, what else was there possibly left to hear?

“Throughout the time your son was in Chris’ care, it’s unfortunate but not surprising to us, that he didn’t go by his birth name.”

Louis fixed his gaze on her, his eyes pleading for answers as he waited for her to proceed.

“Instead, he went by the name Ben Hemmings.”

A suffocating heavy and hurtful silence followed.

“This is just… unimaginable.” Harry finally managed to say, his voice trembling with shock.

“Ben?” Louis muttered to himself, the name feeling alien and wrong. It tasted bitter on his tongue, and he doesn’t like it at all. It wasn’t just unsuitable-it was an outright lie. Not to mention the name doesn’t suit him, and to be frank, it’s just not his goddamn name.

“Is that what he wants to be called?” Harry asked, turning to Louis then back again. The pain and disbelief reflected in Louis’ eyes mirrored his own feelings of betrayal.

“When we first began working with him, he didn’t respond to the name Saxon. However, after the DNA test confirmed his identity, we shared the results with him, hoping to ease the difficulty he was having accepting Chris’ wrongdoings, and it still hasn’t changed. Over those next few sessions and as he began to calm down and understand more, he requested to be called Saxon-not for his own benefit, but for yours. He mentioned that he saw you, Louis, one day at the police station when he had been escorted into a room. You apparently walked past the door he was in and paused just outside, where the door was slightly ajar.”

“What!”

Louis was taken aback, completely unaware of this revelation.

“He told us he heard you crying while you were on the phone. You kept calling him Saxon, expressing how much you missed him and how you couldn’t wait to see him again. He is a beautiful boy with a lot of empathy, Louis. Right now, it might not seem that way, but as time passes and he learns more, his emotions will fluctuate. His hormones and feelings are currently up, down, and all over the place.”

Whatever was said after that, Louis couldn’t remember. He felt stuck, overwhelmed by the weight of the revelation. Saxon had allowed them to call him Saxon just to ease Louis’ own pain. The desire to embrace his son swelled inside him, but he hadn’t yet found the courage to do so and doesn’t think he ever will.

“Thank you, Gabby, for helping us understand and for telling us all this today.” Harry said.

“Thank you both. Just a reminder that I’m here to support you through this journey, without any judgement. You’re doing great so far.” Gabby reassured them gently. “It’s natural for him to experience intense emotions right now. He’s been through an incredibly traumatic experience. He’s crying a lot at night and often mentions missing Chris, the person he believed was his father. These outbursts are expected as he processes everything he’s been through.”

Louis spoke quietly, his expression reflecting sadness and hurt. “He misses Chris… That must mean he formed some sort of real bond with him, hey?”

“I’m so sorry. In situations like this, especially when the child is kept isolated and controlled for so long, they can develop complex feelings of attachment and dependence. In this case though, Saxon knew no better, he only knew Chris from the beginning, and as his little mind began to develop he grew to love him. It doesn’t diminish his love for you both though.”

“We’re just so worried about him.” Harry adds, because what was he supposed to say to that? Because ’ I wanna rip that cunts head off ’ really didn’t seem appropriate.’

“It’s understandable to be worried. Just remember, those rules were designed to maintain control, prevent exposure, and reduce the chances of detection or escape, thereby prolonging his ability to keep the child hidden but, now I want to assure you both that with continued therapy and your support, he will gradually open up and adapt more. He is safe.”

Noticing how the boys had become so quiet and still, she tries to add a bit of positivity.

“I’ve noticed he often looks through the photo album you gave him, but he hasn’t spoken about it. That’s a positive sign though-he’s trying to connect with his past, even if he’s not ready to discuss it yet.”

“It’s just heartbreaking to see him like this.” Louis murmured, his voice cracking as he wiped at his eyes.

“I understand, Louis.” Gabby said gently, her expression warm and reassuring. “But he’s safe now, and he’s with you, his loving parents. With time and patience, he will heal. You all will.”

Louis nodded, a mixture of gratitude and sadness crossing his face. “Hope so.”

“Okay” she continued softly. “That’s it for today.”

“Thank you.” they echoed in perfect unison, their voices harmonizing softly.

“Is there anything else I can assist you with?” She asked.

The boys exchanged a glance, then shook their heads, their expressions content and appreciative.

“Very well. Remember, if you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask. Take care, and I look forward to seeing you again soon.”

As Gabby gathered her papers and prepared to leave, Louis exchanged a glance with Harry. There was still a lot of work to be done, but the mountain of folders no longer seemed insurmountable. They had faced it together, and together, they would continue to move forward.

“Oh, before I go, there’s one more thing. Are you two free this Sunday? I’ve got something new and special planned for your visit-a full day together.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “A full day isn’t exactly new. We had one this week.”

Gabby smirked. “True, but this time, I won’t be there. Congratulations on your upcoming first unsupervised visit.”

Harry’s eyes widened in astonishment, while Louis…………was petrified.

🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Thoughts on chapter?

I’m half way through the next chapter and I’m scared.😬

Chapter 22- On the Mend.

A/N

Now, I have had to move Saxon and Louis’ mending along pretty quickly here as there are still a few more things to address and not enough time.

I understand that this may seem rushed and not reflective of a realistic timeline, but I hope it will suffice for our purposes. There are only 2 chapters remaining, so it is time to begin concluding the story.

Once again, I apologise for the length of this chapter, which is approximately 14.7k words.

🚨TW🚨

Minor character death

🚨

’ Forgiveness is healing, especially, forgiving yourself.’

Louis desires to return to sleep, expressing his displeasure at the early hour by groaning. He attempts to dispel his drowsiness by rubbing at his eyes but all he wants to do is go back to bed. As the vehicle approaches Jay’s residence, the initial rays of dawn illuminates the horizon. He glances at Harry, who stifles a yawn also and turns to smile at him.

“Ready for this?” He asks.

Louis nods, though he doesn’t feel entirely awake. “Yeah, let’s get her settled in and head straight back.”

They had decided that a day without Delilah might help calm things for a stress-free visit with Saxon. As soon as they parked, Delilah who was already bouncing with excitement despite how early it was, eagerly unbuckled her seatbelt and practically leaped out of the car running towards the house where her grandma and aunts were already waiting. She quickly disappears inside with the other children, her laughter trailing behind her.

“Morning, Jay!” Harry called out as he picked up Delilah’s bag of belongings.

Jay greeted them warmly, her smile wide but curious. “Good morning to you both! How’s it all coming along with Saxon?”

Louis gave a small smile, trying to mask his nerves.

“It’s been a long process. We haven’t really talked to him about everyone here yet, just bits and pieces. Didn’t want to overwhelm him too much, too soon, you know.”

Jay nodded understandingly.

“Makes perfect sense. When can we see him, do you think?”

“I don’t know but soon, I hope. Trying to take things slow.” Louis replied, looking down for a moment.

Jay doesn’t mind hearing that. She too only wants what’s best for her grandson. She smiles gently, holding a steaming cup of coffee close to her chest, the warmth seeping into her hands as the early morning chill lingers in the air around them. She takes a slow sip, the rich aroma mingling with the crisp scent of dew-covered grass and distant pine trees.

“That’s alright my love. No hurry.”

Meanwhile, Harry couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Oh my God, do you want to see him?” Harry burst out. “I have a new picture!” He fumbled to pull out his phone, his enthusiasm growing. Jay’s eyes lit up, and she nodded eagerly.

“Yes!” She exclaimed, her voice trembling. Harry found the picture and handed his phone to her. The moment she saw Saxon’s face, tears welled up in her eyes.

“Oh, Louis… he’s so beautiful… just look at him…”

Jay’s voice broke, her emotions overwhelming her. She clutched her steaming cup of coffee, the warmth doing little now to calm the torrent of feelings inside her. Her hands trembled, causing small ripples in the dark liquid. Louis stepped forward and hugged her tightly, his embrace firm and comforting against the morning chill, offering her the support she so desperately needed in that moment.

“I know.” Louis said softly, his own eyes moist. “He is so beautiful and looks so much like Harry.”

Jay and Harry both looked at Louis with scrunched-up faces.

“Babe, no. He is you all over.” Harry corrected gently with Jay agreeing.

“He is so big.” She gasped.

Louis nodded and waved over to Delilah, who was already engrossed in playing with the other girls near the door. “See you later, sweetheart” he called, blowing her a kiss. Harry followed suit, but with double the energy.

“Love you, Piggy! Be good!” he shouted, throwing a flurry of kisses in her direction. Delilah giggled and waved back before returning to her game.

“Call us if you need anything mum and thanks for doing this.”

“No worries sweetheart, will do. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

As they walked back to the car, Louis took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. Harry noticed and squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“Today’s going to be great, Lou. We’ve got this.”

Louis nodded, grateful for Harry’s unwavering optimism. They climbed into the car and headed back, ready to face the day with Saxon, hoping for the best and semi prepared to handle whatever may come their way.

🚨

The morning sun cast a warm glow through the windows as Louis scurried around the house, making last-minute cleaning preparations. The air was filled with a mix of excitement and nerves. He fluffed the pillows on the bed one last time, his mind racing. Harry walked into the bedroom and saw Louis bustling about, unable to sit still.

“Will you just relax? He doesn’t care about the house being clean babe.” Harry said with a chuckle, coming up behind Louis and wrapping his arms around him.

“But I do, which means I can’t relax.” Louis replied, his voice tinged with anxiety. He paced the room, his hands fidgeting as he glanced at the clock.

Harry placed his hands on Louis’ hips, gently halting his movements. “Want me to make you?” The mischievous tone in his voice instantly shifted Louis’ mood.

Louis couldn’t help but smile at Harry’s playful tone. “Stop it. He’ll be here in an hour.” he said, trying to maintain his seriousness.

Harry leaned in closer, his breath warm against Louis’ ear, sending a shiver down his spine. “We have time.” he murmured, his voice low and enticing.

Louis turned to face him, their eyes locking before their lips met in a kiss that quickly deepened. Harry’s hands roamed up Louis’ back, fingers trailing along his skin before deftly removing his shirt. Louis responded eagerly, pulling Harry closer, their bodies pressing together as the kiss grew more intense. Harry’s lips traveled from Louis’ mouth to his neck, planting soft, urgent kisses that made Louis’ knees weak.

And what the hell. Where had that sudden urge come from? Was it the way Harry’s hands felt against his hips, or the teasing glint in his eyes that always stirred something deep within Louis? He tried to shake off the distracting thoughts, but the warmth of Harry’s touch lingered, leaving him unsettled yet strangely intrigued.

They were completely lost in the moment, the tension of the upcoming day melting away as they clung to each other. Harry’s touch was both soothing and electrifying, each kiss a promise of comfort and passion. Just as Louis was beginning to forget his worries, the sharp sound of the doorbell rang, startling them both.

They pulled apart, breathless and wide-eyed. Louis’ heart raced for an entirely different reason now, the unexpected interruption snapping him back to the reality of the impending visit. Harry brushed a stray lock of hair from Louis’ forehead, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Guess we really are out of time.” Harry said softly, his eyes twinkling with a mix of amusement and affection.

Louis laughed.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He quickly grabbed his discarded shirt and started to put it back on, glancing at Harry with a look that said, ’ To be continued .’

“I thought he was not due for ages.” Louis said, glancing at the clock.

Ignoring him, Harry quickly pecked his cheek with a playful smile.

“Meet you down there.”

Harry hurriedly attempted to fix his hair and check his clothes while sprinting downstairs, his heart pounding. As he opened the front door, he was met with the sight of a police officer standing on the doorstep, several patrol cars parked out front with their lights swirling.

Harry’s shock was palpable.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his voice laced with concern. “Where is Saxon?”

The officer, a stern-looking man with a name tag that read “Officer Daniels.” cleared his throat. “Good morning, sir. We are looking for a man named Harry, last name we are unsure of.”

“Yes, that’s me. I am Harry Styles. Is everything alright?” Harry’s mind raced with possibilities, each one more alarming than the last.

Louis, having now thrown on a shirt, appeared at the door beside them, his expression mirroring Harry’s worry.

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on? Is everyone okay?” Louis pleaded, his voice filled with desperation, but his question seemed to fall on deaf ears.

The officer proceeded to inform them that they had received an emergency 999 call from the neighbour residing next door. Regrettably, old man George, had suffered a heart attack and made a valiant attempt to seek assistance by calling for help. The officer’s expression was somber as he disclosed that the police desired to converse with Harry due to the discovery of a note specifically addressed to him on George’s kitchen table.

The news hit Harry like a punch to the gut. His mind swirled with memories of George-a weird yet complex elderly man who always had a story to share and an opinion to offer. As realization dawned on him, panic began to seep in.

Harry turned to the officer, his hands shaking slightly and his breath quickening.

“What does this have to do with me? Is he in the hospital, or… Oh my god, is he…is he dead? “ he asked, the words barely escaping his dry throat. His heart pounded as he awaited the response, the weight of the moment pressing heavily on his chest.

The police officer nodded sympathetically. “I’m afraid so. We’d like it if you Mr. Styles could accompany us outside for a chat.”

Just then, they all heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Harry glanced over to see Saxon and Gabby arriving.

“It’s okay, H, I got this. You go ahead.” Louis said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Harry walked off with the officer, his mind spinning with questions and emotions. Louis watched him go, feeling a pang of worry and helplessness. As Saxon and Gabby approached the house, Gabby looked around nervously.

“Is there something we should know about? What is the meaning of all this? Is everything okay?” she asked, her eyes darting from the police cars to Louis.

Louis shook his head, struggling to find the right words.

“No, it’s… it’s complicated. It is okay. Well, it’s not okay, but…” He sighed, realizing he didn’t know how to explain it.

“George, the man next door… we just found out he passed away this morning. I don’t know why they need to speak to Harry, but-” He trailed off, frustration and confusion evident in his posture.

Gabby’s head turned to where they could see Harry, now standing over in George’s yard with the officer. “Let’s go inside.” She suggested.

They moved into the house, but unlike other times, Gabby didn’t settle in. She hovered near the front foyer, her coat still on, her usual writing pad nowhere in sight. Louis only now remembers that she isn’t staying.

“Okay, well, Louis here I’m sure will keep you busy. You got your coat?” Gabby looked over at Saxon, who was holding his jacket and other belongings, and smiled.

“Yes, I have everything.”

Gabby looked at Saxon softly.

“You wanna go put these in the lounge room, please?”

Louis knew it was a ruse to speak to him alone. As soon as Saxon was out of earshot, Gabby confirmed his suspicion.

“A couple of days ago, Saxon asked for another meeting with his other counsellor. Now, I haven’t had time to speak with her as of yet, but I was informed he has been really sad all week and he has been demanding to see Chris now more than ever. Now, I’m not sure what is happening, but I just thought I’d give you a heads up in case he seems a bit off today. His spirits did pick up when we got in the car to come over, so hopefully, the day goes smoothly.”

Just then, Saxon reappeared.

“Where is Delilah?”

Gabby took this as her cue to leave.

“Alright, I’m going to head out now. If there are any problems, please call me.” She looked at Saxon and ruffled his hair. “Be good. And I will be back later tonight at 7pm to pick you up.”

“Okay.”

Gabby was halfway out the door when she turned back to Louis. “And sorry to hear about your neighbour.”

The moment she was gone, Louis and Saxon locked eyes. It was only then that Louis noticed Saxon was holding a small book.

“What do you have there?”

Saxon looked down at it, then smiled.

“It’s a book for Delilah. It’s about animals. I know she can’t read yet, but I thought she would like the pictures, or maybe I could read it to her. It used to be one of my favourite books. Gabby said it was okay to bring it, I promise. But if you don’t want me to give it to her I wont.”

Louis reached for the book to have a closer look. “That’s very sweet of you. But she’s not here today; she is over at my mother’s house with my siblings.”

“Oh.” Saxon murmured, his face falling as he looked visibly deflated.

Louis noticed his disappointment and offered a gentle smile. “You can put it on her bed if you like. She will love seeing it when she comes home in the morning.”

Saxon brightened slightly. “Okay. Um, am I going to meet your mum?”

Louis’ smile widened, warmth filling his eyes. “She is dying to see you again. But it’s all up to you and Gabby.” He frowns a little at the word ‘dying’ because now he has drifted back to thinking about George and what has Harry taking so long.

“Whenever you’re ready though, my mum will be waiting with open arms. You will love her; everybody does. She’s so kind and patient and already loves you, so very much.”

Saxon nodded, a hint of a smile returning to his lips. “Okay.”

Saxon walked away, and Louis watched in awe but also in fear, because now it was just Saxon and himself, and he had no idea what to do.

He followed Saxon to Delilah’s room and watched as the boy carefully placed the book on her bed. Saxon stood there for a moment, lost in thought. Louis could see the mix of emotions playing out on his face.

“She really will love it, you know.” Louis said softly, trying to break the silence.

Saxon nodded, but he still looked sad.

“I hope so.”

As soon as they entered the kitchen, Louis took a deep breath and tried to steady his nerves.

“So, what would you like to do today? We could build something with LEGO, play some video games, or maybe do some baking. What do you think?”

Saxon glanced towards the window, the bright morning sunlight streaming in. He hesitated for a moment, then turned back to him.

“Do you mind if we play outside for a bit? Maybe do some gardening?”

Louis was surprised by the request but then remembered why Saxon might prefer it-the fresh air, the open space.

“Gardening? Sure, we can do that.” he replied, a smile spreading across his face.

“Let’s get our hands dirty shall we.”

They headed outside, the sun warm on their faces. Louis led the way to the small garden at the side of the house to where a patch of earth had been neglected for a while. He handed Saxon a pair of gardening gloves and a small trowel.

“We can start by pulling out these weeds.” Louis suggested, demonstrating how to grip the base of the weed and pull it out roots and all. Saxon nodded and began working alongside him, the two of them falling into a comfortable rhythm.

Louis felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe today could still be a good day, despite the rough start and he isn’t referring to the situation with George either.

As they worked, Louis couldn’t help but notice how focused Saxon was, his brow furrowed in concentration, his eyes never leaving his hands.

“You’re really good at this.” he said, trying to keep the conversation light. “Do you like gardening?”

Saxon shrugged. “I used to help out in the garden sometimes back at home. It’s nice being outside. I used to only get ten minutes a day.”

Louis felt that anger re surface but he managed to control it. He nodded, pretending to understand.

“Yeah, it is. There’s something peaceful about it, being outside.” He paused for a moment, then added. “We can plant some flowers if you’d like. Or maybe some vegetables?”

Saxon’s eyes lit up slightly. “Can we plant some flowers? I think Delilah would like that. Which ones are her favourite?”

“Absolutely we can.” Louis replied, feeling a warmth in his chest. “We have some flower seeds in the shed. Let’s go get them and have a look. She loves everything that girl.”

They spent the next hour planting flowers, carefully placing the seeds into the freshly turned soil. Louis explained how to space the seeds and cover them with just the right amount of dirt. Saxon listened intently, his hands moving with precision.

As they worked, Louis found himself relaxing, the tension of the morning easing away. The simple act of gardening together felt like a small task but its significance was much larger.

When they had finished, they stood back to admire their work. The garden looked much better already, the neat rows of freshly planted flowers promising a burst of colour in the coming weeks.

“You did a great job.” Louis said, smiling at him. “Delilah is going to love these. This was so kind of you.”

Saxon smiled back, a small but genuine one. “Thanks. It was fun.”

Louis nodded, feeling a sense of accomplishment. “Yeah, it was. We should do this more often.”

Saxon glanced back towards the house, then turned to Louis. “Can we stop now?”

“Of course.” Louis replied. “Let’s go inside and get something to drink.”

Just as they were getting comfortable after cleaning up, Louis looked through the fridge.

“Any preferences on what to have for lunch? I will let you know though, I am not a very good cook.”

Saxon actually laughs.

“My dad wasn’t either so don’t worry, I am very used to take out.”

Fortunately for Louis, the discussion was briefly interrupted as the front door opened and subsequently closed off in the distance. Harry reentered the room, visibly fatigued, yet he managed to produce a smile upon noticing their presence.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asked still standing near the doorway.

“Pretty good.” Louis replied, smiling back. “We were just out the back doing some gardening. Now we are pondering about what to do for lunch. You were gone a long time, everything good? What was the letter about?”

Harry stands frozen in the kitchen doorway and he is bearing that stupid little frog face he makes, a telltale sign that he’s hiding something. Louis immediately picks up on it.

“Nice.” Harry says, adding nothing else, trying to sound casual but remaining tense.

Saxon, observing Louis closely, notices every subtle change in his expression-the slight crinkle in his forehead, the slow movement of his lip to the side.

“Harry.” Louis drags out his name, suspicion colouring his tone.

“Yes, dear?” Harry smirks, and Saxon nearly bursts out laughing.

“What are you hiding?” Louis asks, his voice playful but with an edge of ’ Tell me now!’

Saxon, catching the tone, decides to join in.

“Yeah, Harry, what are you hiding?” Saxon copies with sass and sarcasm, and Louis smiles at him because, did he just hear himself echo, no not technically, but his son sure just sounded like himself. But then Louis remembers where Harry has been and quickly panics.

“Oh, unless… Do you need to speak with me privately or…”

Harry shakes his head and takes a small, tentative step back.

“I take that as a no. Well then… you have ten seconds before I let Saxon tickle you to death.”

Saxon, clearly loving the playful mood, wiggles his fingers pretending to tickle the air. “Yeah, Harry, ten, nine, eight…” Both he and Louis start slowly advancing towards him. Harry, seeing them in good spirits and getting along, smiles broadly. As they reach “three” Harry raises his hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay. Stop. Stay there.”

Louis knows Harry too well. Whatever is coming, he has a sneaky suspicion that he won’t like it.

“Now, just for the record, and in my defence, I had nothing to do with this. I hold no responsibility, Lou. Remember that.”

“Harry.” Louis warns.

Saxon, excited by the playful banter, watches intently as the men egg each other on.

“If you try to murder me, Lou, Saxon will be my witness and-”

Louis leans down and whispers to Saxon, who looks up at Harry.

“Three. Two.-”

“ALRIGHT!” Harry shouts. He takes a couple of steps back and disappears around the corner for a split second before reemerging. All the fun drains from Louis’ face in an instant.

“What the fuck is that?” Louis asks in a disgruntled manner, and it appears he is unaware of the inappropriate language he has so freely expressed in front of his son.

Saxon squeals in delight and creeps closer to Harry, eager for a better look. Harry notices the murderous glare he’s receiving from Louis.

“Hey, you promised, Lou.”

“I didn’t promise anything.” Louis replies through gritted teeth. “So please, H, go ahead, go ahead and explain to me why there is a cat in my goddamn kitchen.”

Saxon approached Harry with wide-eyed excitement, his steps quick and eager. He crouched down and gently patted the cat, who purred contentedly, rubbing its head against Saxon’s hand. Harry looked over at Louis, holding up a crumpled piece of paper, his expression a mix of frustration and determination.

“Look at him.” Harry said, already trying his best to convince him this was a good idea. “He had nowhere to go, and George left him to the kids. I’m not lying, Lou. See, it’s all here in this note.”

Louis’ curiosity was piqued. He took a step closer, his eyes shifting between the note and Saxon, who was now fully absorbed in petting the cat. The sight of Saxon, so tender and affectionate, made Louis’ heart swell. He reached out, taking the note from Harry’s hand, scanning the scribbled words.

Saxon turned to Louis, his face glowing with hope and excitement.

“Can we keep him? Please, Louis?”

There was no way Louis could say no to him. Not now, not ever.

Louis looked between their sad little faces and felt his resolve crumbling. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“We don’t have anything here to look after a cat with. Harry, where is it going to sleep? What is it gonna eat? Who’s going to look after it?”

Harry barely skipped a beat, his demeanor shifting to one of determination.

“We can go to the shopping centre today and get him some stuff. I know we had other plans, but Louis, you can’t deny how adorable he is. Come on, let’s go.”

Saxon immediately began walking towards the front door. “Meet you in the car!” he called out, his excitement palpable. Louis watched him go, trying to conceal his laugh and his sense of defeat.

“My god.” Louis muttered, reaching for his jacket.

Harry looked at him with a hint of worry.

“What?” Louis asked.

“What do I do with the cat until we get back?” Harry asked, glancing down at the cat in his arms.

Louis sighed deeply.

“See, this is why I didn’t want animals.”

Leaving Harry to solve the problem on his own, Louis walked out and joined Saxon in the car.

🚨

The shopping centre was packed and teeming with life, bustling with people rushing from store to store. The pet store was no different, filled with families and individuals picking out supplies for their beloved pets. Louis, Harry, and Saxon had been navigating the aisles for the past thirty minutes. Saxon’s hands were brimming with an array of colourful cat toys, while Harry struggled under the weight of a cat bed, a scratching post, and several other accessories.

“I bet ya George is having a good old laugh right about now.” Louis said, watching his son sift through yet another big toy area.

Harry chuckled softly, though his eyes remained focused on Saxon. “It’s kind of sad to hear of his passing, Harry. What happened when you were over there? Was his family there?”

Harry shook his head, still keeping an eye on Saxon.

“No. Apparently, the only family he has all live interstate. His own son and grandson who visited a while back have been notified. They’ll be coming down soon to organise his funeral. It appears that he was aware of the severity of his illness and had composed the note for us and several others before his condition deteriorated significantly.”

Louis looked at Harry with a sad smile.

“Would it be weird if I said I’ll kind of miss him?”

Harry leaned forward, trying his best to juggle all that was in his hands, and kissed Louis’ cheek. “Not at all, baby.”

Saxon walked slowly towards them, his arms piled high. “I think we have enough now.”

Louis laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Here, do you want me to take some of that?”

Saxon shook his head vigorously.

“No, I will hold it all. The cat is mine and Delilah’s responsibility, isn’t it, Harry?”

Harry felt a warmth spread through his chest at Saxon’s words. “I mean, yeah sure.” he said, a smile spreading across his face. Saxon acknowledging his future with them felt like a precious gift, and seeing the joy on Saxon’s face was everything.

As they made their way to the checkout, there was no denying the excitement, even from Louis. Saxon was all smiles, chattering away about all the fun things they could do with the cat. They placed their items on the conveyor belt, and the cashier began scanning and packing everything into paper bags.

Just as the cashier was finishing up, Saxon turned to Harry with a curious expression.

“What is the cat’s name?”

Harry frowned, trying to recall the name from the note. After a moment, he snapped his fingers.

“Oh, it’s Dusty. Yep, the cat is called Dusty.”

Saxon beamed, repeating the name to himself with delight as they gathered their bags and headed out of the store, ready to welcome Dusty into their home.

They spent the next few hours wandering from store to store, taking the opportunity to explore and understand what types of things Saxon was interested in. They visited a toy store where Saxon marveled at the newest action figures, a bookstore where he excitedly flipped through the pages of adventure novels, and even a sporting goods store where he eyed a shiny new scooter, a scooter he was promised.

Not wanting to “buy” their son’s affection, Harry and Louis were careful in what they chose to purchase. They let Saxon lead the way, watching as his eyes lit up with curiosity and joy. The day was more full of insights and happiness than anything else. They learned that Saxon loved superheroes, had a burgeoning interest in reading, and had a keen eye for anything related to sports.

The day had been the best they’d had so far. Spending time alone with Saxon all day had been like a dream. The hours were filled with nonstop laughter, and Saxon had a smile plastered on his face nearly the whole time. He was beyond excited, especially since he now knew the secret about the cat. Though he wished he could see Delilah’s face when she came home in the morning, he knew he wouldn’t be there. It was the only moment that made him physically feel sad.

But today they had laughed at a few things along the way, like when Saxon tried on an oversized hat in a clothing store and struck a goofy pose, or when they all attempted to navigate a crowded aisle in a novelty shop, resulting in a comical traffic jam of carts and laughter.

Currently, they were standing out front of the mall, ready to cross over into the carpark. Louis was trying to act serious but couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

“Just for the record, I will NOT be cleaning out any kitty trays or feeding it. I never brought the thing home, remember that.” Louis pouted, his arms crossed.

Saxon smiled at the two of them, feeling the warmth of their playful banter. All day, he had witnessed the deep love Harry and Louis held for each other. It was something that radiated from their every interaction.

Harry raised his eyebrows, a skeptical look on his face as if to say, ’ Yeah, right.’ Harry looked at Saxon with a smirk, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “He will. I’m telling ya right now, he will end up loving that cat more than all of us will.”

And Saxon……he felt all sorts of joy. Standing there with his hands full of cat toys and accessories, he and Harry burst into laughter. That sound-his laughter-was something Louis would never grow tired of hearing.

Eventually, they made their way back to the car, arms full of carefully selected items.

“Today has been so much fun.” Saxon said.

As they loaded the bags into the trunk, Saxon climbed into the back seat, still buzzing with excitement.

Harry and Louis settled into the front seats, exchanging a look of contentment. “Today was a good day.” Harry said softly, reaching over to squeeze Louis’ hand.

“Yeah, it was.” Louis agreed, glancing back at Saxon, who was now engrossed in a new book they had picked out. “I think we’re getting the hang of this.”

As they drove home, the car filled with the sounds of Saxon’s animated chatter and the soft hum of the engine. Dusty, their new feline friend, would be waiting for them to arrive, and their family felt just a little bit more complete.

Or that is what would have transpired, had they not been interrupted while placing their belongings into the vehicle back at the shopping centre.

🚨 Rewind .《《《🚨 ( Because, like many other times when things seemed to be going perfectly, there was always something that stepped in the way.)

Eventually, they made their way back to the car, arms full of carefully selected items.

“Today has been so much fun.” Saxon said.

“Ben?”

Saxon flung his head around so fast, his heart skipping a beat because he knew that voice. In that split second, everything around him seemed to blur, except for the familiar figure standing a few feet away. His grip on the cat toys and accessories faltered, and with a clatter, they tumbled to the ground. The bright colors of the toys and the jingle of bells filled the air, but Saxon didn’t notice. His eyes widened in recognition and disbelief as he dropped everything and sprinted towards the person.

“Oh my God, it is you! I thought I knew that voice. Wait, who are these people?” The individual inquired, causing Saxon to redirect his attention towards Louis, who was presently sprinting in his direction. Louis extended his hand and firmly grasped Saxon’s, swiftly and forcefully drawing him back.

“Don’t touch him!” Louis’ voice was firm, his eyes blazing with protectiveness.

Saxon tried to pull free, his voice filled with frustration and confusion.

“Let go. He won’t hurt me.”

But Louis tightened his hold, his eyes never leaving the stranger. “I can’t let you go.” he said, his voice softer but filled with authority. “I need to make sure you’re safe.”

The stranger, a man with familiar eyes, especially to Harry, took a hesitant step forward, looking between Saxon and Louis.

“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble. I just… I didn’t expect to see you here. Where is your dad?”

Louis’ grip on Saxon’s hand remained firm, his body tense as he shielded him.

“No, you don’t get to ask questions. Who are you?” Harry demanded, his voice low and wary.

Saxon looked up at Louis, his eyes pleading.

“Please, Louis. Let me talk to him, just for a moment, he is my uncle.”

The man sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“My name is Luke, Luke Hemmings. I’m not here to cause any harm.”

Louis hesitated, his protective instincts warring with the trust he had in Saxon’s judgment. He turned back to Harry who was now already dialling on his phone.

Faintly heard in the background. “ This is Harry Styles, connect me to Detective Reign immediately.“

Louis gazed at Luke, unsure of what to make of the situation. It was unclear whether Luke was genuinely unaware of the recent events, including the kidnapping, or if he was intentionally feigning ignorance.

“I’m sorry. This is a bad idea. Let’s go, now.” Louis demanded.

But as he looked down at Saxon, who had the saddest, most pleading eyes he had ever seen, he stopped. He glanced at Luke, who appeared just as distressed.

“Where is Chris? Does he know you have my nephew? Ben, I know it’s been a long time since we face-called, but-”

Harry re-entered the conversation, his expression serious but calm. He took a deep breath before speaking, wanting to relay the information he had just heard clearly.

“Luke.” Harry began, “The authorities had been trying to get in touch with you for a while now, but they couldn’t find any up-to-date contact information. They found out you’ve been in Australia for the past few years, but that was it. Chris was not being too helpful in that department.”

Harry paused, making sure Luke was following. “Detective Reign, who runs this case, he um…..here.”

With that, Harry began to hand the phone over, his expression conveying the seriousness of the matter. “The detective is on the line and wants to talk to you. He can explain everything in more detail than me.”

“Detective? What is happening?” Luke asked, but Harry just nodded towards the phone.

“He doesn’t know, does he?” Saxon said softly. Louis gently rubbed his back soothingly. They all stood in silence for a moment, watching Luke as he slowly paced, listening intently to the detective. When he finally finished, he handed the phone back to Harry and looked down at Saxon, tears in his eyes and his hands clasped to his mouth. He tried to speak but he couldn’t. Luke looked up at Harry, then back to Louis.

“I am so sorry. Truly, I had no idea. Honest to God, he told me he adopted him. I don’t see my brother much as I travel a lot, but we face-timed every few weeks for years. I-” He looked again at Saxon, who was looking sad. Saxon tore away from Louis and ran to Luke, who wrapped him into a tight hug.

“I am so sorry this happened to you, buddy. This doesn’t change anything, alright? I still love you, no matter what.”

Luke held Saxon tightly in his arms, his voice choked with emotion. “Ben, buddy, I need to go now. I have to go to the police station.”

Saxon took a deep breath but as he spoke he looked at the ground.

“ My name is not Ben. My real name is Saxon.“

“Oh.” Is all Luke first managed.

“Okay. I do need to go though.”

Saxon, with tears streaming down his cheeks, nodded silently, unwilling to let go of Luke just yet. Luke gently pried himself away, his eyes meeting Harry and Louis’ with a mix of sorrow and apology. “I’m sorry.” he said, his voice trembling. “I wasn’t in the UK to find him or anything. I was just in town to see my girlfriend’s family for a couple of days before heading over to the US.”

Harry and Louis exchanged a glance, understanding the whirlwind of emotions Luke must be feeling. They nodded reassuringly, silently acknowledging Luke’s explanation.

Louis leaned down to Saxon, his voice gentle. “We’ll give you a minute, okay?” He stood up straight but didn’t move away, positioning himself nearby to give them privacy while still keeping a watchful eye.

Luke took a step back, allowing Saxon a moment to compose himself. “Are you okay? Are they nice people?” Luke asked softly, concern etched in his voice.

There was a pause, and then Saxon replied, his voice wavering slightly. “They are really nice. So is my sister.”

Louis, pretending to be absorbed in checking their bags, couldn’t help but hear the catch in Luke’s breath. He knew the weight of this moment for Luke, how everything he thought he knew had suddenly been upended. Louis felt a pang of empathy, recognizing that they were all trying to adjust to this shocking revelation together.

Luke held Saxon close for a moment longer, his voice steady despite the tears in his eyes. “It’s okay to be happy, Ben, I mean Saxon. Be brave and strong, okay? You’re a remarkable kid.”

Saxon nodded, sniffling softly as he wiped his tears. “Will I see you again?” he asked, his voice trembling with hope.

Louis’ ears perked up at Saxon’s question, instantly feeling protective. “I dunno, mate.” Luke replied, his voice gentle yet uncertain. “I hope so.”

Louis couldn’t let that linger. “Alright, time to go.” he interjected, stepping forward to gently guide Saxon away from Luke’s embrace.

Luke and Louis shared a nod, a silent acknowledgment of the emotional turmoil they all had experienced. They went their separate ways, Luke heading towards the police station and Harry and Louis guiding Saxon towards the car.

The drive home was quiet. Saxon sat in the backseat, staring out of the window with a distant expression. Louis occasionally glanced at him through the rearview mirror, his heart aching for the young boy who had just faced such a profound upheaval in his life.

When they arrived home, Saxon went straight to his room without a word. Harry and Louis exchanged a concerned look knowing that he needed some time to process everything that had just happened.

As the evening wore on, Saxon remained withdrawn, speaking only when spoken to and retreating into his thoughts. Harry and Louis hovered nearby, ready to offer comfort and support whenever he was ready to talk.

But he wasn’t ready. He did not speak, but he did in fact weep .

So much so, that Louis found he had cried himself to sleep merely twenty minutes before Gabby arrived.

He was sleeping soundly on his new, larger bed, which his parents had recently purchased for him. Louis approached cautiously, his heart swelling with a mix of sadness and tenderness as he stood in the doorway, watching over him. Seeing him sleeping peacefully for the first time in so long, and in his own room of all places, felt bittersweet and heartwarming at once.

Seeing him curled up under the blankets, his small frame looking so fragile yet peaceful, brought a rush of emotions. Gently, Louis stepped closer, careful not to disturb his slumber. He brushed a stray lock of hair away from Saxon’s forehead, his touch light and loving. Saxon stirred slightly but didn’t wake, his breathing steady and calm.

“I love you.” He whispered.

Louis lingered for a moment longer, silently promising to be there for Saxon through every hardship and every moment of joy. He tiptoed out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar, allowing a sliver of light to filter in.

Gabby arrived dead on 7 PM, her face etched with concern. As she stepped inside, she looked around expectantly, searching for Saxon. When she didn’t immediately see him, she turned her cautious gaze to his parents who looked confused at her reason for concern.

“I had a call from Reign. Is everything okay here? How did he handle it?” she asked, her voice tense.

Harry and Louis shared a look, a silent exchange of understanding. Instead of answering immediately, Louis nodded for her to follow him. They moved upstairs quietly, Louis leading the way to Saxon’s room. As they arrived at his door, Louis creaked it open softly, allowing Gabby to peer inside.

Saxon was fast asleep, his small form barely stirring under the covers. “Oh.” Gabby whispered, her surprise evident. “He never takes a nap throughout the day or evening, not at his age.”

Louis nodded, his voice low and soothing.

“He got a little worked up after seeing Luke. We gave him some space, and he eventually settled. He didn’t eat much of his dinner, but overall, we had a relatively great day.”

Gabby sighed, her shoulders relaxing slightly. She stepped back from the door, glancing at Louis with a mix of gratitude and concern. “I was worried. Reign said it would be a lot for him to process.”

Louis nodded again. “It was. But he’s strong.”

They made their way back downstairs, leaving Saxon to rest peacefully. Harry met them at the bottom of the stairs, his expression one of quiet support.

“Thank you both.” Gabby said softly. “For being there for him.”

Harry smiled gently. “We wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They waited half an hour, using the time to discuss their day and reflect on everything that had happened. Louis turned to Gabby, his brow furrowed with concern. “What’s going to happen with Luke?”

Gabby sighed, leaning back in her chair.

“I don’t know. But don’t panic. Detective Reign will no doubt be in contact if anything comes of it. Right now, we need to focus on Saxon.”

As the minutes ticked by, Gabby grew increasingly anxious. Finally, she stood up, unable to wait any longer.

“Let’s go wake him.” she said, her voice decisive.

They all made their way upstairs, the atmosphere heavy with the day’s emotional weight. Louis entered Saxon’s room first, the others close behind. He sat down beside Saxon, gently stroking his arm. “Sax, it’s time to wake up. Gabby is here.”

Saxon didn’t budge. “Sax, it’s time for you to go home.” Louis repeated softly, but the boy remained out like a light.

“He sleeps like me.” Harry remarked with a chuckle.

“You’re not wrong.” Louis replied, sharing a small smile with Harry.

Saxon began to stir but only enough to roll slightly. What got Louis was how Saxon instinctively took hold of his hand.

“Hey buddy. Rise and shine. You have to go home.” Louis said, looking down at where he was caressing his son’s hand.

“I am home.” Saxon sleepily murmured, his voice barely audible. Louis flung his hand across his heart at hearing that.

Louis looked back at Gabby, unsure of what to do. Gabby gave him a sad look that said, ’ he needs to wake up.’ Harry, understanding the situation, switched on the big light and spoke louder.

“Alright, Saxon, Gabby is here, mate.”

As Saxon began to stir, blinking against the sudden brightness, Louis quickly let go of his hand before he could notice. Saxon rubbed his eyes and slowly sat up, looking around groggily.

“Hello Gabby.” he mumbled, still half-asleep.

Gabby stepped forward, her expression softening.

“Hi, Saxon. It’s time to go home, okay?”

Saxon nodded slowly, the reality of the situation sinking in. He looked at Louis and Harry, then back at Gabby. “Okay.” he whispered, the day’s events clearly weighing on him.

Louis and Harry helped him get ready, their movements gentle and reassuring. As they headed downstairs they all said their goodbyes. Gabby watched the interaction, her heart aching for the boy who had found solace in his unexpected “new” parents.

“Thank you both.” Gabby said quietly, her voice filled with gratitude.

Harry nodded, his eyes meeting hers. “We’re here for him, Gabby. Always. You Know that. I don’t know how many times I have to repeat this.”

They walked to the door together, the evening air cool and calming. Saxon looked back at Louis and Harry one last time before stepping outside with Gabby, his expression a mix of exhaustion and lingering sadness.

As the door closed behind them, Louis and Harry stood in the quiet house, the weight of the day settling over them. They exchanged a look, knowing that their journey with Saxon was far from over and that they would do whatever it took to support him through every twist and turn.

Saxon and Gabby settled into the car, the silence between them filled with unspoken thoughts. As they reversed out of the driveway, Gabby broke the quiet.

“That was a nice try there, mate.”

Saxon rolled his eyes and looked out the window, muttering, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Gabby, her eyes focused on the road, flicked a cautious glance at him. “You know what I mean. You and I both know you do not go to bed and nap, especially not that easily.”

Gabby was semi sure that Saxon was intentionally trying to sleep there, perhaps hoping that she would have just left him there when she saw he was “sleeping” peacefully. Afterall, she knew he was ready for it.

What she was saying was true to an extent. Every single night, Saxon fought the urge to go to bed because bedtime brought sleep, and sleep brought dreams. Most nights, those dreams brought anger, sadness, and….. Chris . The result was always the same: Saxon would have outbursts that no one could console. He would break down, crying and then growing angrier and angrier, trapped in a cycle of torment that seemed impossible to escape.

“Mhmm.” was all Saxon replied, a noncommittal response that left Gabby confused and worried. She couldn’t understand why he had tried to pull that stunt or maybe why he wasn’t being honest. Saxon, on the other hand, wasn’t lying this time. He had genuinely fallen asleep, and for some reason, he hadn’t struggled with dreams or overwhelming feelings. It was something he didn’t understand either but he decided to keep that part to himself.

As they drove, Gabby kept glancing at him. She knew his routine all too well-the crying, the anger, the inability to find peace in sleep. But tonight had been different, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that something had definitely shifted.

Saxon stared out of the window, the passing scenery a blur. His mind wandered back to the gentle way Louis had woken him up. It felt different, safer, almost like he belonged. But he couldn’t quite wrap his head around it all still. The idea of feeling secure and loved by them both was still too foreign, but it also felt “comfortable and reassuring” and those feelings kind of scared him, especially at how fast he knew he was adapting to them.

Gabby, sensing his turmoil, reached over and gently squeezed his shoulder. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about anything right now. Just remember, it’s okay to feel different emotions. No one expects anything of you sweety, we all understand. You just heal, at your own pace.”

Saxon nodded, his eyes still fixed on the landscape outside. He appreciated Gabby’s words but wasn’t ready to share the confusing mix of emotions swirling inside him. For now, he would hold onto the small glimmer of peace he had felt and try to understand it in his own time.

Meanwhile, Gabby was holding back something of her own. She had failed to mention to Saxon what she had observed earlier. As she trailed behind Louis and Saxon while they retreated downstairs, she had witnessed a touching scene. They walked shoulder to shoulder, their arms swinging in unison, a silent rhythm of connection between them. Gabby had noticed how Saxon had flexed his fingers, as if wanting to reach out and hold Louis’ hand but retreating at the last moment.

Whatever was going on in the little boy’s mind, Gabby knew it was a positive step, even if Saxon wasn’t ready to share it. Seeing Saxon attempt to connect, to trust someone new, filled her with a cautious hope. She could sense the beginnings of a bond forming, a fragile yet significant development in his journey. She felt a glimmer of optimism for the first time in a long while, believing that Saxon was on the path to healing, even if he didn’t realize it yet.

The rest of the drive was silent, each lost in their thoughts. As they pulled up to their house, Gabby turned to Saxon with a soft smile. “We’re home.”

Home. He hates that word now. It no longer holds any comfort or certainty. He doesn’t know where or who home is anymore. The place he once shared with Chris, the house where he now sleeps during the week, Harry and Louis’ house-they all feel different in their own ways. Yet, amidst all these places, Saxon feels empty.

With Chris gone from his life in the blink of an eye, and only seeing Harry and Louis every now and then, the safe house he stays in feels sterile and impersonal. To him, they are mere buildings with walls, devoid of warmth or connection. The people there, despite their kindness, feel distant and unfamiliar.

Saxon feels adrift, like he has no one he can turn to at a moment’s notice. Most nights, he lies awake, feeling the weight of loneliness pressing down on him. It’s as if no one is truly there for him, and the sense of isolation is almost unbearable. He longs for a sense of belonging, for someone who understands him without words, but right now, that feels like an impossible dream.

Saxon nodded again, unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out of the car. He glanced back at Gabby, a fleeting look of gratitude crossing his face before he turned towards the house. Gabby watched him go, her heart heavy with both hope and worry. She knew the road ahead would be challenging, but she was determined to help Saxon find his way, one step at a time.

🚨

Louis hates Mondays with a passion. He shouldn’t hate going to work so much, not when he’s only working three days a week, but there’s always something about Monday mornings that feels especially dreadful. He looks over at a “sleeping” Harry and decides that no, if he has to get up, then so does he. He begins to caress Harry’s bare torso, the warmth of his skin sending a thrill through him.

Although Harry doesn’t move nor open his eyes, he does however use his voice.

“I must warn you, today my thoughts about you are already wandering into sensual, sexy, and naughty territory, especially if you keep doing that.” Harry confesses with a mischievous grin, even though he still has his hand draped across his eyelids.

“Alright, maybe I shouldn’t do this then, or I’ll never make it to work on time.” Louis teases back, slowly peeling off his own shirt. The sight draws a groan from Harry who had peeked through one eye.

“Jesus.” Harry breathes out as Louis starts leaving quick kisses along his stomach.

“What? You’re the one who started it. You shouldn’t have informed me about your naughty thoughts because now I’m having my own.” Louis chuckles as he moves to place a leg over Harry, straddling him.

“And I definitely shouldn’t be letting you go ahead with this.” Harry admits, his heart racing with anticipation. “But… you could get fired if you’re late… Now get off.”

Harry laughs, tipping Louis off to the side. Louis is left with his mouth agape. “Wow, Styles, just… wow. I will remember that.”

Harry chuckles as he gets out of bed, the playfulness in the room lingering like a warm embrace. Louis watches him, shaking his head in mock disbelief, but inside, he’s buzzing with the electric start to the day, even if it is a dreaded Monday.

Harry heads straight to the bathroom, eager to relieve himself.

“Plus, I’ve got to pick up Piggy from your mum’s house this morning and take her to kindy. She’s going to be thrilled when she sees the cat. She’ll love it.”

Yes, the damn cat-the one that meowed all night long. Harry had tried to convince Louis that it was only acting up because it missed George. But Louis knew better. The cat was simply being a nuisance because he wouldn’t let it sleep in their bed.

“Do you think it’s too late to get rid of it?” Louis mumbled, more to himself.

Harry poked his head around the door.

“ What did you say?“

“Nothing.”

They have a rushed breakfast, quickly eating toast and sipping coffee while exchanging hurried goodbyes. Louis heads off to work, his mind already racing through the day’s tasks, while Harry prepares to take Delilah to kindy. Delilah chatters excitedly about seeing her friends and the new cat, Dusty, as Harry helps her with her backpack.

Once Delilah is safely dropped off, Harry heads back home, the quiet of the house settling around him. He decides to call Liam, surprised to hear the fatigue in his friend’s voice when he answers.

“Harry, man, it’s good to hear from you. Been a while.” Liam says, the surprise evident in his tone.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Things have been a bit crazy on my end.” And Harry feels a twinge of guilt. “I wanted to talk about the next video. I need a bit more time off. I want to spend more time with Saxon.”

There’s a pause on the other end before Liam sighs. “I get it, Harry. Family is important, but we’ve seen a significant dip in followers, and merch sales have dropped. We really need a new video soon.”

Harry frowns, feeling the pressure but determined to put Saxon first.

“I understand, Liam. I promise I’ll get back into it soon, but right now, Saxon needs me.”

Just as he’s about to say more, a beeping in his ear interrupts. He pulls the phone away to check the caller ID. It’s Gabby.

“Liam, I need to take this. It’s Gabby. We’ll talk more later, okay?”

Liam’s sigh is audible.

“Sure, Harry. Just don’t leave it too long, alright?”

“I won’t. Talk soon.” Harry assures him before switching over to Gabby’s call.

“Hi, Gabby. How are you?”

What shocks him, though, is that it’s not Gabby who answers.

“Harry?”

Harry sits up straight, instantly alert.

“Hey buddy. You alright? Everything okay?”

“Gabby is next to me. She said I could call. Um… can I ask a favour?” Saxon’s voice is small but clear.

“Yeah, sure, anything. What’s up?”

Harry’s heart tightens with concern, wondering what could be on Saxon’s mind. He listens as Saxon speaks and finally smiles.

“Yes. Absolutely darling.”

After hanging up, Harry reflects on the morning’s events and the importance of balancing his commitments. Today, Saxon comes first, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

🚨

Louis pulls into the driveway at 4 PM, exhausted and frustrated. It’s been a rough day-he made a few mistakes at work, and his boss’s bad mood only amplified his own. As he steps out of the car, he silently prays that Harry has dinner sorted. His spirits lift slightly when he catches the aroma of pizza wafting through the air. It’s unusual for Harry to order pizza this early, but sometimes Delilah gets really hungry when she gets home, so maybe thats it.

A small smile tugs at his lips as he puts his key in the lock, but his heart skips a beat when he hears his daughter laugh loudly, followed by, “Sax-o, let me hold him now!” His heart races because he knows that nickname. He fumbles with the lock, urgency taking over. Saxon isn’t due back for a visit until next week.

Louis quickly unlocks the door and steps inside, closing it softly behind him. He follows the sounds of laughter and chatter to the living room. There, he sees Saxon sitting on the floor, engrossed with Dusty. Delilah is beside him, her face lit with excitement.

But it’s Delilah who notices Louis first.

“Daddy, look, look, look! We have a cat, Daddy, a real cat!” she exclaims, her eyes sparkling wide with joy.

Louis stands there, momentarily stunned. He looks from Delilah to Harry, who is smiling warmly at him, then back to Delilah. “I know. Aren’t you a lucky girl?”

He shifts his gaze to Saxon, who looks up, his eyes bright and Happy.

“Hi, Louis.”

A surge of warmth courses through him, filling him with a sense of unexpected joy.

“Hi, buddy. What a wonderful surprise to see you here.”

Harry approaches, his movements fluid and confident. He places a firm, reassuring arm around Louis’ shoulders, grounding him in order to whisper.

“He called me earlier, and then I spoke to Gabby. Saxon wanted to come over, so I allowed it, figuring you’d be okay with it. I did try to ring you, but it went to voicemail. I hope you don’t mind. I’ll explain everything later.”

Louis nods, his earlier frustration melting away. “I am more than okay with it. It’s perfect and yeah, my phone died.”

They all settle into the cosy living room where Louis lowers himself down onto the floor next to Saxon, who is surrounded by scattered toys and books.

“So, how was your day?” Louis asks, his voice gentle.

Saxon looks up, his eyes sparkling with an eagerness that wasn’t there earlier.

“It was okay. But it’s much better now.”

Louis reaches out and ruffles his hair gently, feeling the silky strands slip through his fingers.

“I’m glad to hear that.” he says, his heart swelling with affection.

Harry, standing by the kitchen doorway, chimes in with a grin.

“We’ve got pizza for dinner. I thought we could have a little celebration.” he announces, his voice carrying a hint of excitement.

Delilah, perched on the edge of the couch, claps her hands with delight, her eyes wide with anticipation.

“Yay, pizza!” she exclaims, her enthusiasm infectious as the room fills with a sense of shared happiness and togetherness.

As they eat, the atmosphere is warm and filled with laughter. Louis watches Saxon carefully, noting how relaxed he seems compared to previous visits. He can see the bond forming between Saxon and Delilah, which fills him with so much more hope than he normally has.

After dinner, they play a few games, and Louis can’t help but marvel at how quickly the time flies when Saxon is near. It’s as if all the stress and negativity of the day has been washed away by this unexpected but welcomed visit.

As the evening winds down, Louis pulls Harry aside.

“Thank you for this. I needed it more than I realised.”

Harry smiles, squeezing his hand.

“We all did. It’s good to have him here. But don’t thank me, it was Saxon who wanted to come.”

They both look over at him, who is now cuddling with Dusty on the couch, his eyes so full of life. Louis feels a sense of contentment he hasn’t felt in a long time.

But that look doesn’t last long as the doorbell rings.

It’s Gabby, ready to pick him up.

Louis invites her in, and she steps inside, noticing the way Saxon’s face falls the moment he sees her. “You still have a few minutes.” She reassures him gently.

“Hey Saxon, how about you take Delilah upstairs for a minute so we can have a quick chat, we’d really appreciate it.” Harry suggests.

Delilah claps her hands excitedly.

“Do you wanna go and read me that book you gave me, Sax-o?” she asks. He nods eagerly, and they both run upstairs, leaving the adults in the living room.

Gabby takes a seat and motions for Louis and Harry to join her.

“We need to talk about what happened today.” she begins, her tone serious.

“Saxon had a gruelling session this morning. He broke down completely. We talked about Chris, Luke, and how he feels about coming here. After he stopped crying, he specifically asked to see you two but of course at first we declined and he became more upset. He isn’t one to ask us for much, but he looked so broken and scared. Since these visits have been going well, I went ahead and got it approved pretty quickly.”

Louis nods, gratitude evident in his eyes.

“Thank you for that. We don’t mind watching him at all.”

Gabby smiles, though it’s tinged with concern.

“That’s good because I was wondering if he could stay here every day for the rest of the week. We think it might be beneficial for him and it’s a good lead up to before he starts sleeping here.”

Louis and Harry exchange surprised looks. Louis hesitates, “I have to work…”

But Harry interrupts.

“I’m home all day. It’s fine.”

Gabby nods appreciatively.

“Great. Since we’re on the right track for having him returned to you, we need to start thinking about school. Saxon’s been homeschooled his entire life, but starting school will be a great way for him to learn how to make some friends.”

She pauses, gauging their reactions before continuing.

“We can discuss that at my office next time you are scheduled in. Now, today, we learned a lot more about this Uncle Luke. Saxon wants to keep in contact with him. We told him we’d discuss it at a later time, but that was just so we could discuss it with you two first. Detective Reign will be in touch soon about that. As for Chris, nothing has changed. Saxon still cries every night, though it’s not violent tantrums and obscene yelling anymore-just quiet sobs to himself until he falls asleep. We expect that to continue for quite some time yet.”

Gabby takes a deep breath before continuing. “When we asked about you guys, he did perk up. It appears he’s rather fond of Delilah. We think it’s because he’s actually getting to spend time with another child. He talks about her all the time with such happiness. Today, when he was upset, and I told him he could come here if it was alright with you two, he lit up like it was Christmas.”

Louis’ heart swells at the thought of Saxon finding joy in their home.

“We’re glad he feels that way. Delilah loves having him around too.”

Gabby smiles warmly. “That’s wonderful to hear. It’s important for him to build these positive connections.”

Just then, Delilah and Saxon come bouncing down the stairs, both of them breathless and giggling. “We finished the book!” Delilah announces proudly.

Gabby stands up, giving Saxon a gentle smile. “Alright, time to go, Saxon.”

Saxon’s face falls again, but he nods. Harry crouches down to his level.

“Guess what? You can come back tomorrow if you want, and the day after and the day after that.” he reassures him.

Saxon’s eyes light up at Harry’s words, and he gives him another quick hug. “Yes, I would love that! Did you hear that, Delilah? I can come back tomorrow!”

She claps her hands in excitement.

“Yay, Sax-o! We’ll have so much fun!”

Delilah frowns looking at Harry.

“But papa, I have kindy tomorrow?”

Harry smiles at her.

“Yes, but Saxon will still be here with you afterwards. He can even come along and pick you up from kindy if you like.”

“Okay papa.”

Saxon looks down as he feels Dusty’s tail wrap around his leg. He crouches and gently pats the cat.

“See you tomorrow, too.” he says softly to Dusty, who purrs in response.

As they head out, Gabby turns back to Louis and Harry. “Thank you both. This means a lot to him.”

Louis and Harry nod, watching as Gabby and Saxon leave.

“See you tomorrow, buddy.” Harry calls out, waving.

Louis walks beside Saxon as they all move out the front door. Gabby notices the familiar hesitation-the way Saxon reaches for Louis’ hand but pulls back. This time, something different also happens. She sees Louis make the exact same gesture, hesitating just a second later. Tomorrow, she decides, she will talk to Louis about it.

Once they’re gone, Louis and Harry look at each other, the weight of the day settling in. “We’ve got a lot to think about.” Harry says quietly.

Louis nods, feeling both hopeful and anxious. “Yeah, we do. I can’t believe this happened today.”

“Me either.”

🚨

Saxon was dropped off at 9 a.m, meaning Louis had already left for work, much to his dismay. As the car drove away this morning, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy that Harry got to spend another full day alone with Saxon. The office felt stifling, and he found himself constantly glancing at the clock willing the hours to pass faster. Every tick seemed to mock him, making the day drag on interminably.

When Louis finally got home, it felt like déjà vu. He stepped inside, shaking off the day’s stress, and saw Saxon and Delilah lying on the living room floor together. Each of them held a crayon, their little hands moving rhythmically as they coloured while occasionally glancing up at the cartoons playing on the TV screen. The sight brought a smile to his face, a soothing balm to his earlier frustration.

Harry was on the phone, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. By the way he was rolling his eyes, Louis could tell it was Niall on the other end. Harry always did that when speaking with him, claiming it was because Niall did nothing but tell stories and exaggerate everything.

Louis walked over to Harry and hugged him from behind, feeling the warmth of his body against his own. He placed his stuff down on the kitchen counter, letting out a sigh of relief as he did. Glancing back at the kids, he couldn’t help but smile at the serene domesticity of it all.

Placing the phone down now that he has concluded the call, he turns to Louis apologetically.

“Sorry, I got stuck with Ni. He wants to come visit soon.”

Louis chuckled, shaking his head.

“That’s nice, hey how did things go today?” he asked, eager to hear about their time together.

“It was good.” Harry replied, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Saxon went with me to kindy to pick up Delilah, and Krystal-well, she almost fainted. She shed a tear at seeing him again.”

“Yeah, she would.” Louis nodded, imagining the emotional scene vividly.

Dinner was a joyous affair, the room filled with laughter and friendly chatter. Saxon and Delilah giggled over inside jokes between them, and even Dusty the cat seemed to join in the fun, weaving around their legs and meowing for attention. The sense of normalcy was comforting, a stark contrast to the uncertainty that had plagued their lives recently.

Then the dreaded hour struck.

The doorbell buzzed right at 7pm. She stepped inside, taking in the warmth of the household. Instead of immediately addressing Louis about her observations, she decided to wait a few more nights and continued to watch on quietly instead, her eyes keen and observant. She was looking for the familiar pattern she had noticed before. And it happened again: both Saxon and Louis reached for each other, their hands almost touching before retreating, a subconscious dance of wanting to connect but hesitation taking over because of……fear? Rejection?

The same scene repeated itself the very next night. By Thursday, Gabby knew she could no longer put it off. The repeated gestures were too significant to ignore. She could see how much it meant to both of them, and she knew it was time to bring it into the open, to help them navigate the complex web of emotions they were both feeling, as if the pair of them were holding onto heartache but in different ways.

Louis didn’t work on Fridays, so he was at home when Gabby dropped Saxon off that next morning. As soon as Saxon saw Delilah, the two of them bolted to the backyard, eager to play. Harry followed, ready to supervise, leaving Louis and Gabby standing in the foyer.

“Can we talk for a minute?” She asked, her voice gentle but firm.

Louis nodded, feeling a knot form in his stomach. He led her to the living room, where they sat on the couch, the noise of the kids playing faintly audible through the open windows. The room felt strangely silent, amplifying the seriousness of the conversation.

“Louis, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something important. I’ve noticed a pattern over the last few days. It’s about you and Saxon.”

Louis’ brows furrowed, and he leaned in, trying to grasp where this conversation was headed.

“I’ve seen the way Saxon reaches for your hand and then pulls back, and I’ve seen you do the same. It’s like there’s a barrier, something holding both of you back.”

Louis felt his heart tighten. He hadn’t noticed these moments in the same way Gabby had.

“I… I didn’t realise he was doing that.”

Gabby gave a small nod.

“It’s understandable. Sometimes, when we’re in the middle of it, we don’t see the small things. But those small things are important. Saxon needs to feel that connection with you. It’s crucial for his healing and for yours too.”

Louis swallowed hard.

“I just want to do right by him, but I’m afraid of pushing too hard or getting it all wrong, especially when he said-”

Gabby leaned forward slightly, her voice soft but insistent.

“Look, I know it’s daunting. But these small gestures, like holding his hand, mean the world to him. It’s a step towards mending and moving on. My advice would be that you need to relax, Louis. Let him in. Show him that it’s okay to trust you.”

Louis nodded slowly, absorbing her words.

“But what if I’m holding back because… because I’m scared too? Scared that I might not be enough for him, or that I might push him away for good?”

Gabby offered a polite smile as she placed a reassuring hand on his arm.

“It’s natural to feel that way, I get all that.”

Gabby then whispered and you could tell she was slightly hesitant to reveal more as she leant closer.

“As I understand from his recent session, Saxon holds you in high regard, he does look up to you. He perceives you as a source of stability and is aware of your affection for him, your love for him, he just doesn’t ‘feel’ it. Maybe there’s something you need to do, something that’s been holding you back, to mend your connection with him.”

Louis’ eyes welled up with tears as he attentively listened.

“I am truly struggling with this, I am screwing it all up aren’t I? I intended to demonstrate my support, but maybe I misinterpreted his wishes? I dunno, I feel like such an idiot, I sincerely apologise. I will make every effort to improve and ensure his happiness, safety, and well-being. I just wanted to do everything right by him.”

“And you are.” Gabby assured him. “The fact that you’re here, willing to talk about this, shows that you care deeply. Sometimes, it’s the little things that make the biggest difference. A simple gesture, a word of encouragement, can go a long way.”

Louis took a deep breath, feeling a sense of resolve settling over him. “You’re right. I need to show him that he can rely on me. I know what it is that I need to do.”

Gabby nodded, her expression warm. “And remember, you’re not alone in this. You have Harry, and you have me. We’re all in this together, and we all want the best for Saxon. Now, you just need to show him.”

As Gabby left, Louis stood in the doorway, watching her drive away. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the task ahead. He glanced out to the backyard, where Saxon and Delilah were playing, and made a silent promise to himself. It was time to stop hesitating and start building the bond that both of them so desperately needed, and he knew exactly what needed to be done.

From the vantage point of the kitchen window, Louis observed Saxon and Delilah engaged in a game of hide-and-seek within the confines of the garden. Their unrestrained laughter permeated the atmosphere, evoking a smile that encapsulated both joy and melancholy. He watched them weave between the trees, crouch behind bushes, and peek out from their hiding spots, their joy infectious. Harry joined in occasionally, playfully exaggerating his searches and bringing even more giggles from the kids.

For the next two hours, Louis wrestled with his nerves, attempting to summon the courage to do what needed to be done, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to act. Instead, he busied himself with household chores, constantly glancing out the window, the weight of Gabby’s words never leaving his mind. Every time he saw Saxon’s face light up with laughter, he felt that relentless guilt. He knew he needed to break through the barrier that still lingered between them, but fear and uncertainty did nothing but continue to hold him back.

Just after lunch, as the kids settled down for a snack out on the lawn, Louis felt he needed to act now before he lost the little courage he had. He couldn’t put it off any longer. He bit his lip nervously and walked over to the back door.

“Hey, Harry.” he called out, trying to keep his voice steady. “Do you mind watching Delilah for a bit? Saxon and I are going to go for a drive.”

Harry looked up, sensing the seriousness in Louis’ tone. He nodded, giving Louis an encouraging smile. “Of course, go ahead.”

Saxon looked over at Louis, his eyes wide with surprise.

“We are?”

Louis nodded his head back and forth.

“Yeah, we are. Just you and me. How does that sound? We shouldn’t be too long.”

Saxon hesitated.

“Okay. Where are we going?”

Louis did not respond as he glanced at Harry, hoping to somehow telepathically convey that everything would be alright, as Harry appeared to be concerned.

Saxon looked up at Louis, a mix of curiosity and uncertainty in his eyes. He slowly stood up, his movements hesitant, but the trust was there. It was a small gesture, but it felt monumental to Louis who let his hand linger on Saxon’s shoulder as he walked past him.

“Come on, let’s go. You will see soon.” he said softly, giving Saxon’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

As they walked to the car, Louis’ mind raced with what he needed to say, and how he needed to say it and boy was he scared. He knew this was just the beginning, but it was a crucial step he needed to take.

Louis opened the car door for Saxon, who climbed in and settled into the seat. As Louis got into the driver’s seat, he glanced over.

“Ready?”

Saxon’s eyes met Louis’.

“Ready.”

Louis started the car knowing that this drive was the beginning of something important, something that could change everything, but also something that terrifies him.

As they pulled up at their destination, Louis felt a tightness in his throat and a cold sweat on his palms. His mind was racing, second-guessing every step that had led them there. He could barely focus on the present moment, his thoughts swirling with uncertainty and doubt. When the engine finally shut off, the silence felt almost oppressive. Both Louis and Saxon kept their eyes forward, too focused on the view in front of them to glance at each other.

Louis finally managed to break the silence, looking over at him.

“You coming?”

Saxon turned to him, his face neutral.

“Yeah.”

They both began to unbuckle their seatbelts and step out of the car. Louis already regretted his decision, his mind screaming at him to turn back. He felt as though the weight of the world was pressing down on him, making every step feel like an effort. They walked side by side, Louis’ eyes darting nervously around the area, every sound and movement heightening his anxiety.

As they reached that familiar spot, the memories and emotions tied to it hit Louis like a wave, almost making him stumble. He inhaled deeply, scared for what may lay ahead as they both took a seat.

’ Why? Why was he here of all places? Why did he think this would work?’

The area was dotted with structures of varying heights and shapes, painted in faded colours under the soft afternoon sun. A gentle breeze rustled through the leaves of nearby trees, casting shifting patterns of light and shade across the worn paths of packed dirt.

Saxon’s gaze wandered across the landscape, pausing on the weathered wooden structures that he assumes had once been his kingdom of adventure. There were swings swaying gently, their chains whispering against the metal poles. A climbing frame stood proudly, its rungs worn smooth by years of young hands grasping for the next foothold. The slide, now dulled from exposure to the elements, curved down into a bed of sand that had seen countless afternoons of playful digging and building.

The weight of their shared past loomed large in their minds. He glanced at Saxon, noticing the mixture of curiosity and nervous anticipation in his eyes-a reflection of his own trepidation.

They were confronting the memory, the horrid playground where it took place, each structure a testament to moments of joy and innocence, but also remnants of upheaval and the sudden changes that were brought upon them.

“You okay?” Louis finally asked, his voice breaking the silence that had settled between them.

Saxon turned to him slowly.

“Yes, but I’m guessing this is where…?”

Louis nodded, understanding the incomplete question. “Yes.” he replied softly, letting the significance of the moment sink in. They both hesitated, unsure of what would come next but drawn to the shared history that bound them to this place.

They continued to sit side by side, absorbing the scene before them, each lost in their own thoughts yet finding solace in the simple act of just being together.

Louis closed his eyes, feeling the lump in his throat tighten painfully. His breath caught in his chest as he struggled to swallow past the dryness. The atmosphere around them seemed charged with such anger, heartache and resentment, memories swirling like tornadoes wherever he looked.

Saxon remained still, his gaze shifting between the playing children nearby. Louis exhaled softly, trying to remain calm but nothing seemed to work.

Was this really what needed to be done?

When did his throat become so parched he wonders, so constricted with unvoiced words? Louis let out a slow, shaky breath, trying to speak, to let it all out, but the weight of what he needed to say was too hard, the words pressing down on him relentlessly.

Turning to Saxon, Louis wrestled with the flood of emotions. His eyes stung with tears as he blinked rapidly, trying to hold them back. Despite his efforts, they escaped, tracing silent paths down his cheeks. He wiped them away hastily, but they kept coming, each tear a testament to the ache and yearning he had carried for far too long.

“If I could redo that day.” Louis went on, his voice trembling, “I would never have brought my phone. I would never have taken my eyes off of you. Maybe then… maybe then we would have been okay. We wouldn’t have missed all those precious moments, all those milestones…”

It’s then that Louis can feel himself breaking completely as he lets the tears flow just as Saxon looks up at him with such sad eyes.

“Right there. That slippery dip.” Louis choked out, his voice cracking with emotion as he gestured towards the playground structure. “That was the last place I ever saw you.” the image replaying over and over on repeat like a personal hell loop.

Saxon glanced briefly at the slide before casting his gaze downward, scuffing his feet in the dirt.

“I only looked away for a minute, Sax.” Louis continued, his words heavy with regret. “Just a minute, that’s all it took. It’s all my fault, not yours. God, I should have never brought you here that day.”

Saxon remained silent, listening intently. But then he spoke ever so softly.

“But then you wouldn’t have gotten Harry back.” Saxon says with such sad eyes.

“And there would be no Delilah.”

And Louis wasn’t expecting that by any means.

“Maybe not. But you were my whole world sweetheart…you still are.”

Louis felt his composure slipping, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. He could feel himself breaking apart as he looked into Saxon’s eyes, filled with sorrow and somehow some understanding. It was a moment heavy with the weight of years of guilt and longing, a moment where words failed to convey the depth of his remorse and love.

It’s time. They both felt it.

Father and son reached out simultaneously, their hands meeting and intertwining. In that tender connection, Louis felt a profound sense of completeness and renewal, as if a missing piece had finally found its way back home.

Their embrace hadn’t yet evolved into a hug, but the sensation of his son’s hand nestled in his own, just as it had been on the day Saxon was born-those tiny fingers wrapping around his-filled Louis with an indescribable sweetness and tenderness that he can’t ever fully explain. It was a moment that was meant just for them, and for now, it was everything they both truly needed.

Louis took a deep, shaky breath, the words heavy on his heart. “Saxon, my precious boy, I owe you an apology that words can never truly cover. Every part of my being aches with regret. The day you were taken from me, it shattered me. I’ve never felt such pain, such loss. A piece of me died that day, and I’ve been living in shadows ever since. If Harry hadn’t come into my life, I don’t know if I’d have found the strength to go on.”

His voice trembled as he continued, tears streaming down his face. “I’ve spent countless nights begging for a chance to turn back time, to fix what went wrong that day. I don’t want you to hate me, but if you do, I understand it. I’ve hated myself enough for both of us. I failed you in the worst way a father can. If I had just paid more attention, if I had just been more careful…If I had-”

Saxon squeezed his hand gently, his own eyes wet with tears.

“Louis…”

But Louis broke down completely, the sobs wracking his body.

“I’m so sorry, Saxon. I would give anything to undo that day, to have kept you safe. I love you more than words can say, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, I promise.”

Saxon wipes at his own eyes, his voice quivering as he begins.

“Louis, I never hated you. I’m so sorry if I made you think that. Sometimes, I get so mad and say things I don’t mean. But look at me, I’m here now. I know you must have been terrified, blaming yourself every single day. But I promise, I was okay. Chris, he…he was…”

Louis, with tears streaming down his face, cut in.

“He was a father to you. I know…”

Their gazes dropped to the ground, both of them grappling with the heavy silence that followed. The air around them was thick with the weight of all the lost time, the missed moments that had slipped through their fingers. Louis’ heart ached with the knowledge that nothing could ever bring back those years. The sorrow between them was palpable, a raw testament to a love that had endured unspeakable pain and loss.

Saxon’s voice trembled, tears pooling in his eyes. “I know what he did was wrong, Louis, people keep telling me that, and I feel bad for you and Harry, I really do. But he was my dad, and he loved me. We spent every single day together, and… I just need some time. I still miss him so much. I know it probably seems stupid to everyone else, and I feel silly for feeling this way, but-” He choked on his words, unable to continue as his heart ached with conflicting loyalties.

“Hey, listen to me. Whatever you feel about anything, Chris, me, Harry, Delilah, or schooling or sports or absolutely anything in general, don’t you ever feel that way. Your feelings are valid, do you hear me?”

Saxon doesn’t get a chance to respond as both their attentions shift to a woman frantically calling out. “ Jake! Jake, baby, where are you?“

Saxon glances at Louis, noticing the panic that flashes across his face and he realises now how horrible it must have all felt. The woman’s anxiety melts into relief as her little boy emerges from behind the slide, running into her arms.

“ Darling, you need to stay where mummy can see you, you nearly gave me a heart attack. I could have lost you.“

Saxon looked down to where their hands were still clasped and disregarded the pain caused by Louis’ tight grip, which had intensified due to the sudden panic. As the mother and son walked away, hand in hand, Saxon released the tight hold and turned to face Louis directly. The words that followed were not what one would expect from a young boy, but rather those of a mature adult, filled with wisdom that nearly mended Louis’ heart in an instant. Contrary to his expectations, he had believed that he needed to confront this place today, the devil’s playground, to apologise properly at the scene of the infamous crime, but it soon became evident that he had been clearly mistaken.

“Louis, you don’t need to apologise to me. If anything, I really feel you need to forgive yourself. None of this was ever your fault, you know that right? The person you owe an apology to is the one staring back at you in the mirror. You’ve carried this guilt for too long, and it’s time to let it go. You don’t need my forgiveness Louis, you need your own.” Louis can feel himself going for a hug but he stops as Saxon stands up and turns towards him. Saxon does not need to say what he is doing, Louis already knows and it brings him to tears. Saxon begins to walk ever so slowly and as if in slow motion he opens up the gate and closes it behind him. He looks back to Louis with the saddest yet hopeful little eyes.

“It’s okay Louis. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Louis acknowledges with a nod, but his eyes never leave him, not once. Saxon skillfully navigates the play equipment, occasionally and deliberately pausing briefly out of sight, but never long enough to cause alarm. These actions served to reassure Louis of Saxon’s presence, to show Louis he was there , he was safe .

When he returns to the gate, he grips onto the cold metal bars, his fingers curling tightly around them.

“Tomorrow, can we bring Delilah? Please, Louis, please?” Saxon’s voice is earnest, filled with hope and a yearning Louis can’t ignore. How could he say no? How could he deny this boy who, in a matter of moments, seemed to have miraculously gathered all of Louis’ shattered pieces-his insecurities, his fears-and gently, unwittingly, mended them all?

“Of course.” Louis replies softly, “That would be lovely, she will love that.”

And that makes Saxon smile, because, mission accomplished .

Today, Saxon unknowingly brought healing to Louis in ways that the child could never fully understand or comprehend. In this poignant moment, Louis makes an unexpected decision, one he had not anticipated: in the days ahead, he would return the favour and bring forth a healing to Saxon as well, in a way both of them never saw coming.

🚨🚨🚨

A/N

Tissue? Anyone?

🤧

Chapter 23- CHRIS

‘ A one sided story often has a torn page. The page that you miss reading, usually provides the real truth.’

🚨

Anne and Jay arrived at Louis’ house, their nervousness apparent in their every movement. Jay’s hands shook slightly as she reached for the doorbell, and Anne kept smoothing down her skirt, a habit she had whenever she felt anxious. The door opened to Louis’ warm smile, and he welcomed them inside.

“Where is Saxon?” Jay asked almost immediately, her voice trembling with a mix of excitement and nerves.

“He’s upstairs.” Louis replied. Jay shook her head slightly, a bittersweet smile on her face.

“That sounds so strange to hear.” she said softly.

“I know.” Louis agreed, stepping forward to give her a hug. “How are you feeling?”

Jay took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “So nervous, but so happy to see him again. I can’t believe this is finally happening.”

Anne stood nearby, her own emotions close to the surface. She glanced around the room, taking in the little details that showed how much care had gone into preparing for this moment.

“It’s been such a long time coming. I still find it strange that I have a grandson.” she said quietly.

Harry joined them, placing a reassuring hand on his mother’s shoulder.

“Mum, everything’s going to be fine. Saxon is a great kid. You’ll love him.”

Louis nodded in agreement.

“He’s a bit nervous, but he’s really looking forward to meeting you both. Just be yourselves.”

Anne took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. “I’ve dreamed about this moment for so long. I just want it to go well.”

“It will.” Louis assured her. “He’s a little shy, but once he warms up, he’s wonderful.”

Upstairs, Saxon could be heard chatting with Delilah. Harry called up to him, his voice steady and warm.

“Saxon, it’s time. Are you ready, buddy?”

There was a brief pause and then the sounds of muffled footsteps and hushed voices filled the air. Then, Saxon appeared at the top of the stairs, his eyes wide with curiosity and apprehension. He looked down at the adults gathered below, his gaze lingering on the unfamiliar faces of Anne and Jay.

Anne took a step forward, her heart pounding. “Hello, Saxon.” she said softly, her voice betraying just a hint of a quiver. “I’m Anne, Harry’s mother. It’s so wonderful to finally meet you.”

Jay stepped up beside her, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “And I’m Jay. We’ve been looking forward to this for so long.”

Saxon looked at them, his eyes wide and curious. He took a tentative step forward, then another, his small hands clutching the bannister for support. The room held its breath, the moment heavy with significance and the weight of long-awaited introductions.

Louis watched the scene unfold, feeling a mix of pride and protectiveness. He knew this was a big moment for Saxon, and he hoped it would go well. He moved to stand beside Harry, their shoulders touching in silent solidarity.

Jay couldn’t hold back her emotions any longer. She turned to Anne, her voice cracking with emotion. “I can’t believe this is finally happening, Anne. It’s… it’s a miracle.”

Anne nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. “It truly is, Jay. It truly is.”

Saxon, sensing the gravity of the moment, took a few more steps down the stairs until he stood in front of them. He looked up at them with wide, curious eyes, his small frame seeming even smaller in the midst of such overwhelming emotions.

Anne knelt down to his level, reaching out a hand but stopping just short of touching him, as if afraid to break the spell.

“Saxon, we’ve wanted to meet you for so long. You’re so brave, and we’re so proud of you.”

Jay, unable to contain her tears, crouched down beside Anne. “We’ve missed so much, but we’re here now. We’re here for you, we all are. My god, you have grown so much.”

The boy looked between them, his expression a mix of confusion and understanding. He took a small step forward and in that moment, the years of pain and separation seemed to melt away, replaced by a fragile but hopeful sense of connection.

Saxon introduced himself to Anne first, his voice small but polite. “Hello, it is very nice to meet you.” he said, amazed at Anne’s gracious manners and blindsighted by how much she looked like Harry. Anne smiled warmly, her eyes still wet with tears. “It’s so nice to finally meet you in person.”

Then, Saxon turned to Jay, who was trying her best not to cry but failing miserably. He felt something stir deep inside him, a faint echo of a memory. There was something about her that he couldn’t quite fully remember, but he knew he felt super safe with her.

Jay opened her arms wide, her voice choked with emotion. “I missed you like crazy, little man.”

Without hesitation, Saxon walked straight into her embrace, shocking everyone, even Saxon himself. The moment their bodies connected, it was as if an unspoken bond was reignited. Jay held him tightly, her tears falling freely now, soaking into his hair. Saxon felt the warmth and love radiating from her, and it made him feel safe, cherished.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long.” Jay whispered, her voice trembling. “I’m so glad you’re here, that you are where you belong.”

Saxon buried his face in her shoulder, breathing in her familiar scent. It felt like coming home. He didn’t fully understand the depth of the emotions swirling around him, but he knew that in Jay’s arms, he was loved and protected.

Anne watched the reunion, her own heart swelling. She reached out to gently stroke Saxon’s hair, her touch tender and loving. “We’re here for you to now, Saxon. We’re not going anywhere either.”

Louis and Harry stood nearby, watching the scene unfold with tears in their own eyes. They knew this was a pivotal moment for Saxon, a step toward healing and rebuilding the family bonds that had been torn apart from the very beginning.

As Saxon finally pulled back from Jay, he looked up at her with wide, trusting eyes.

“Can we play in the garden now?”

Jay chuckled softly, wiping her tears away.

“Of course, sweetheart. Let’s go play.”

Anne, still emotional but filled with a new sense of hope, nodded in agreement.

“Yes, let’s go make some happy memories.”

Hand in hand, they all moved toward the back door, stepping out into the sunshine where Delilah was already playing. As Saxon ran off to join her, Louis and Harry exchanged a look of profound gratitude. This was just the beginning of their journey toward healing, but it was a beautiful start.

🚨

It was Saxon’s first overnight stay, Gabby said they would start with one night and it did, but as it went so well, things escalated very quickly after that and after a week he was already staying there monday to friday.

FIRST OVERNIGHT STAY

The day had gone surprisingly well. They had started with a morning picnic at the park, where Saxon and Delilah had run around playing tag and feeding the ducks. Louis and Harry observed them, their hearts brimming with joy. Subsequently, they proceeded to the playground, where Saxon engaged in exuberant swinging on the swings, his laughter resonating harmoniously throughout the area.

For lunch, they visited a local pub. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming, and Saxon devoured his meal, enjoying every bite. Louis watched him closely, waiting for something to go wrong. He was so used to things falling apart that he couldn’t help but anticipate it. Yet, everything remained perfect. The day was filled with smiles and laughter, and Louis began to wonder if maybe, just maybe, things were finally falling into place.

Despite the wonderful day, Louis was still plagued by calls from the media. Reporters were relentless, seeking interviews and statements. He kept his phone on silent, ignoring each call as it came. He refused to let anything ruin this precious time with Saxon, especially when everything was going so great.

As bedtime approached, Louis’ anxiety began to creep in. The routine of getting ready for bed went smoothly, and soon Saxon was tucked in, the soft glow of a night light illuminating the room. Louis kissed his forehead and whispered.

“Good night, buddy.”

But as he left the room, he heard it—the soft sound of crying. His heart clenched painfully in his chest. He stood just outside the door, his hand on the knob, hesitating. The urge to rush in and comfort Saxon was overwhelming, but something held him back.

From his hiding spot, he heard Saxon’s voice, barely above a whisper.

“I’m okay, Louis. Good night.”

The tears in Louis’ eyes threatened to spill over. How did Saxon know he was there? It was as if the boy could sense his presence, feel his concern. Louis leaned against the wall, taking a moment to compose himself before finally walking away, his heart heavy but filled with a fierce determination to make things right. He recalled all the advice Gabby had given them about bedtime and understood the importance of giving the boy some personal space.

This pattern continued throughout the week. Each day was filled with joy and laughter, but each night, Louis would find himself standing just outside Saxon’s door, listening to his quiet sobs. Every time, Saxon would somehow sense him there, offering those exact same reassuring words.

“I’m okay, Louis. Good night.”

Louis’ heart broke a little more with each passing night, but he also felt a growing resolve. He knew that healing would take time, and he was prepared to give Saxon all the time he needed. He wouldn’t give up. He would be there, every night, just outside the door, until Saxon no longer needed to say those words. Until they both truly believed them.

🚨

Louis had been watching Saxon all morning, marvelling at how well the boy was adjusting to life with them. The days had been good all around—gaming, laughs with Dusty, movie nights, and bedtime hot chocolate. Everything seemed perfect, but there was always a part of Louis that remained on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He tried to focus on the positives, but the constant calls from the media, clamouring for interviews, were a reminder of their tumultuous past and he was starting to get pissed off.. Louis kept ignoring them, focusing on the present, on his family .

It was during one of these serene moments that Louis noticed something. Delilah, with her bright enthusiastic voice, filled the room with her usual exuberance, chatting away about the upcoming Father’s Day celebrations at kindy. Her excitement was infectious, and she was already planning the perfect gift for Harry. But while Delilah’s eyes sparkled with excitement, Saxon’s eyes grew distant and his shoulders slumped. He became quiet, retreating into himself.

Louis was struck by a memory. He had promised himself just the other day that he would find a way to repay Saxon for everything he had been through. He felt a deep sense of responsibility, almost a debt to the boy, for all the lost time and the pain he had endured. Seeing Saxon so deflated now, Louis knew he had to act on that promise. He couldn’t let his son feel forgotten or unloved, especially on a day meant to celebrate fathers and for the children to show love to their parent or caregiver.

Louis took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his emotions settle heavily on his chest. He approached Saxon, who was now sitting quietly by the window, staring out into the garden where Delilah’s voice drowned out. The boy looked so small, so vulnerable.

“Saxon.” Louis began softly, sitting down beside him. “I saw how you reacted when Delilah mentioned Father’s Day. I want you to know that we don’t expect anything from you and we understand you will be missing Chris and-” Louis paused. “ Look, if you need anything or maybe some space or an ear to listen, Darling, you can talk about him okay, you are allowed to remember him sweetheart.”

Saxon turned to look at him, his eyes wide and curious. Louis continued. “ He was a big part of your life and no one will ever take that away from you, not Harry and certainly not me. So, if you need anything, you just ask alright.“

Saxon didn’t say anything, but his eyes softened, and he gave Louis a small nod. Louis felt a lump rise in his throat. This was just the beginning, but he was determined to make every moment count. He would find a way to show Saxon just how much he meant to him, not just on Father’s Day, but every day from now on.

As they sat together in the quiet, Louis silently vowed to himself that he will do it next week, even when he knew it was going to hurt. He owed Saxon that much, and much much more.

When bedtime came, Louis heard the soft, muffled sobs coming from Saxon’s room. His heart broke at the sound. He approached the door, intending to comfort his son this time, but he hesitated, shielding himself behind the door frame. Saxon couldn’t see him, yet somehow yet again, he knew Louis was there.

“I’m okay, Louis. Good night.” Saxon said softly, his voice tinged with sadness but also a hint of reassurance.

This pattern continued throughout the following week as well. Each night, as he stood outside Saxon’s room, he heard the same quiet reassurance. Each time, it chipped away at Louis’ heart, making him even more determined to make things right.

Now, he knew it was time.

🚨

THE FOLLOWING WEEK

Harry and Saxon were comfortably settled on the couch, halfway through watching a movie. Saxon’s laughter occasionally filled the room, a sound that Louis cherished deeply, a noise he never thought he would ever hear again. In the kitchen, Louis was occupied with doing the dishes, but his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t help but pause every now and then, peeking over his shoulder to steal glances at the living room.

Seeing Harry beside Saxon, talking and smiling, filled Louis with a warmth he could barely contain. It was a scene he had longed for during those endless days and nights as a single parent all those years ago. The endless hours he had spent searching for Harry while pregnant, yearning for this very moment, for Harry to know that Saxon actually existed. He had envisioned this so many times: Them, together as a family.

He had dreamt of Harry and Saxon bonding of shared laughter and simple moments of joy. And now, to see it materialise before his eyes felt more like a dream than anything else. Delilah, with her boundless energy and innocent charm, was an added bonus he hadn’t dared to hope for. Her presence brought a lightness to their home, one that made their house feel like a home…Complete.

Yet, amid this happiness, a pang of longing pierced Louis’ heart. He wished Saxon would allow him the same opportunity to bond, to open up even more with him, to be a part of these precious moments as freely as he did with Harry. He understood Saxon’s hesitations, the barriers built from years of separation and confusion, but it didn’t make the longing any less intense.

If Saxon demonstrated a greater sense of comfort and security in the presence of Harry, then he would be willing to just ‘suck it up’. This is because Louis harbours a deep-seated belief that the dynamics between himself and Saxon will eventually undergo a positive transformation, one day….soon…he hopes.

He doesn’t know how long it will all take. Christ, in all honesty, he knows the road ahead will be winding and fraught with challenges. But Saxon is here, alive, safe, and healthy. He is right where he should be. Despite this miraculous reunion and the seismic shift it has brought to Saxon’s life, Louis can’t shake the nagging feeling that a part of Saxon is still profoundly unhappy, perhaps even broken. It’s as if beneath the surface of their fragile new reality, there is an undercurrent of sorrow and anger that he can’t quite reach or understand, besides the obvious of his life changing in the blink of an eye. Something is in the way, forcing them to keep a distance, an invisible barrier protectively being raised between them. The problem is, Louis cannot tell who put it there…Saxon or himself? 

With a sigh, Louis turned back to the dishes, holding onto the hope that, in time, Saxon would open up to him, that he would get the chance to share in these moments of joy and connection like Harry does. Until then, he cherishes every glimpse, every smile, and every shared moment that is slowly bringing their family closer to the dream life he had held onto for so long.

The peaceful scene was interrupted by the doorbell ringing, a sharp sound that cut through the room. It was 5.15pm. They had just finished up an early dinner since Delilah was spending the night at Nana Jays. Louis emerged from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dish towel.

“I will get it.”

He opened the door to find Detective Reign standing there.

“Hey, come on in.” Louis said, stepping aside to let Reign enter. The visit already having him on edge.

Louis turned to Harry and then to Saxon, who were both looking at him confused.

“Hey buddy, do you mind—” Harry began.

“Going upstairs, yeah, I know.” Saxon interrupted, already familiar with the routine whenever anyone with authority came over, though there was a hint of frustration creeping into his voice.

But this time, Reign quickly spoke up.

“Actually, could you please join us at the table for a moment?” His tone is calm but firm, offering a medial smile.

Harry looked surprised but started to sit down, a frown forming on his face as he tried to read the situation. Louis, still silent, kept his eyes fixed on Reign, his expression a mask of controlled anxiety.

Reign placed his phone and some paperwork on the table, the thud of the items landing on the wooden surface sounding louder in the tense silence.

“So, how can we help you today?” Harry asked, his voice steady but his eyes betraying his worry. He glanced at Louis, seeking some reassurance but finding none, nothing in fact.

Reign glanced at Louis, then at Harry, and finally at Saxon before turning back to Harry. “I apologise for my tardiness. I understand that I am 15 minutes behind schedule, but I’m here for the phone call.”

“Whoa. What phone call?” Harry interjected, confusion evident in his voice. He leaned forward slightly, his posture tense, ready to react to whatever news Reign was bringing.

The room seemed to shrink as everyone focused on Reign. Louis’ heart pounded in his chest, the nature of the visit throwing him off balance. He hadn’t moved since Reign entered, his eyes fixed on the detective only.

Reign cleared his throat, glancing around the room before settling his gaze back on Harry.

“Am I missing something here?” He paused, allowing the weight of his words to sink in.

Harry’s worry deepened, his eyes darting to Louis, who remained silent, his face pale and drawn. Saxon sat quietly, sensing something was out of the ordinary.

Reign took a moment to compose himself before delivering the news that had brought him there. The news that he was now aware that had not yet been shared with the family gathered around the table, and he understood the potential impact it could have on them.

‘“The call with Christopher. The authorization went through this morning. If you weren’t informed of the appointment tonight and you are wishing to reschedule we can, but I thought-”

Harry rises from his seat and directs his attention towards Saxon. His inherent parental instincts prompting him to move closer, subconsciously driven to provide protection, albeit without conscious awareness of this action.

“Oh I am sorry Detective, but that is not happening. That is a hard no. I don’t know where you got that impression from, but this is not happening, not under my watch. Not now, not ever.” Harry is so angry that you can hear it resonate through every single word.

“Harry.”

Louis tries to calm Harry, who has begun pacing anxiously. He keeps glancing at Saxon, whose expression is a confusing mix of excitement and sadness, causing Louis’ heart to ache.

“No, Louis, this is outrageous, i’m sorry to waste your time detective but-”

“ HARRY.”

Harry finally looks at Louis, who nods slightly towards Saxon, attempting to silently convey a message to him to moderate and tone down his behaviour. Harry looks at his son, his small head facing his lap.

“Who authorised this?” Harry demands after a brief silence.

Reign is rendered momentarily speechless as he gazes at the contents of his mobile device. He directs his attention towards Louis, who appears to possess prior knowledge of the situation.

“I did.”

All eyes swiftly snap in Louis’ direction. However, there is only one individual whose attention truly matters. He is aware of his little eyes upon him, yet he deliberately avoids meeting them. He lacks the courage to witness Saxon’s enthusiasm. Unable to bear it, he turns to Harry, attempting to divert the attention.

“The call is going ahead.”

Louis is experiencing severe respiratory distress, he can’t freaking breathe. The discomfort is excruciating, almost as bad as the day he had lost him. But he knows his son needs this. Despite the intense emotional anguish he is enduring, Saxon’s well-being remains his top priority.

“The call will come through in less than a minute. As his parents, you have the final say, but one of you needs to stay here. I’ll have the call on speaker, and I also need to be present. I’d say there’s no rush, but time is ticking.”

Harry frantically looks to Louis. Well to be fair, they all do. Louis just focuses on his green eyes, telepathically trying to inform Harry that Saxon needed this. Their boy needed it. Harry can hear the plea, he can see the desperation and pain.

“Ok.” Is all Harry says as he turns back to Reign.

Louis pivots on his heel, unable to stay. He can’t bear to listen to the man who destroyed his life. The thought of hearing that voice, the one that caused so much pain, makes his skin crawl. And in hindsight, he doesn’t want to hear Saxon call him “dad” either. The very idea feels like a knife twisting in his heart, reopening wounds that haven’t yet begun to heal.

He attempted to maintain his focus on the floor ahead of him, earnestly desiring to avert those eager, excited little eyes. However, he found himself unable to resist. As he proceeded past him, their eyes met, causing Louis to pause momentarily while Saxon simply stared at him. Saxon remained motionless, poker faced and silent. Yet Louis could discern his happiness and gratitude. Louis responded with a very small and gentle smile before continuing his ascent upstairs.

Upon hearing the footsteps, Harry abruptly turns around and realises that he is solely responsible for handling this situation. It is unclear why Louis believed Harry was capable of managing this independently. Why on earth had Louis done this?

Harry already knows this is a bad idea. The moment he hears Chris’ voice, he’ll want to reach through the phone and throttle him…ring his fucking neck. His mind races with violent thoughts as the phone sounds. He glances at Saxon, desperation in his eyes, hoping for a last-minute change of heart.

“Are you really sure?” he asks, his voice trembling slightly.

Saxon smiles, but it’s a soft, hesitant smile. He sits up straighter just as Reign accepts the call.

“An inmate detained at HMP Marshgate is attempting to call. Do you accept the call from—” the phone switches to a voice, one Harry knows and it infuriates him instantly. “Chris Hemmings.” The automation resumes. “Please press number one on the keypad to be connected.”

Harry glances at Saxon, whose eyes are wide and imploring, filled with a silent plea. Despite the intensity in his gaze, Saxon remains mute, his lips tightly pressed together. Harry’s heart aches at the sight of his son’s unspoken desperation. He then turns to Reign, seeking some form of reassurance or guidance but like formerly with Louis, he is met with nothing. The room feels heavy with tension, every second stretching on and on. Finally, with a deep breath and a nod, Harry signals to Reign to accept the call, the weight of the decision settling heavily on his shoulders.

Harry doesn’t like this one fucking bit.

🚨

Harry quietly closes the bedroom door behind him, the soft click sounding ominous in the stillness of the house. He has just put Saxon to bed, and now his anger is barely contained. He wants nothing more than to confront Louis who remained here, up stairs, until Reign had left, but he refrains.

Louis is lying in bed, scrolling through his phone, but the moment Harry enters the room, he senses the anger radiating from him. Harry heads straight to the ensuite bathroom without a word. Louis watches, anxiety building in his chest, knowing what’s coming.

When Harry comes out, he starts undressing, his movements sharp and agitated. He yanks back the blankets and slides into bed, facing away from him. The tension is palpable.

“H—” Louis begins, but Harry cuts him off.

“No. How bloody dare you.” Harry whips around, now face-to-face with Louis, his eyes blazing with fury. His voice is low but seething so as to not let Saxon hear. “You didn’t think it was a good idea to fucking talk to me about this first?”

Louis opens his mouth to apologise, his voice trembling. “I thought I was doing the right thing by Saxon.”

Harry’s stare is icy, his anger undiminished. “You couldn’t even stay there to help me through it. You think that was easy for me? For fuck’s sake, Louis. Did it even cross your mind that doing that might have now given him false hope of getting Chris back? You didn’t have to sit there and see how happy he was.”

“I had our son’s best interests at heart.” Louis insists, desperation creeping into his voice. “I thought it would help him.”

Harry continues to glare at him, the intensity of his anger undeterred.

“Well, news flash, Louis. You are not his only parent. You used to be, but not anymore. Therefore, you should have fucking discussed that with me.”

Louis feels the weight of Harry’s words, the truth of them hitting hard. He wants to defend himself, to explain that he acted out of love and concern, but he knows now that he should have included him. The realization is crushing, and he reaches out, his voice breaking. “Harry, Im sorry. What did they talk- “

But Harry turns away, his back rigid, signaling the end of the conversation. The silence that follows is heavy, filled with unresolved tension and the aching gap between them. Louis lies there, staring at the ceiling, knowing that he has a lot to make up for and unsure how to bridge the divide he has unwittingly created.

🚨

Harry had given Louis the silent treatment all day. The tension between them was palpable, lingering like a dark cloud over their household. Saxon, blissfully unaware of the adult turmoil, had been particularly cheerful that morning, his excitement growing when Delilah returned home.

Louis’ mother had visited for a cuppa, eager to see her grandson once again. As she sat at the kitchen table, chatting and sipping tea, she couldn’t help but notice the frosty silence between Louis and Harry. Despite their best efforts to mask the tension in front of her and Saxon, the undercurrent of their unresolved conflict was clear.

Harry would respond to her questions with polite but clipped answers, his jaw tight, while Louis remained unusually quiet, his gaze often drifting to the floor. Saxon, delighted by his grandmother’s visit, seemed oblivious to the strained atmosphere, chattering away happily.

When Louis’ mother finally left, she gave him a knowing look, squeezing his hand in silent support before heading out the door. The moment it closed behind her, the fragile pretense of normalcy shattered. Harry resumed his silent treatment, retreating into the kitchen to bake muffins for the kids. The scent of vanilla and sugar soon filled the house, a comforting aroma that belied the emotional storm brewing within it.

Unable to bear the suffocating silence and tension any longer, Louis retreated upstairs, seeking solace in their bedroom. He laid on the bed, his mind racing with regret and uncertainty. The events of the previous night replayed in his head, Harry’s angry words echoing in the stillness.

Downstairs, Harry moved with practiced efficiency, his hands deftly mixing ingredients and filling muffin trays. The repetitive task provided a small measure of distraction, but his thoughts remained fixed on Louis. The sense of betrayal and anger simmered beneath the surface, threatening to boil over.

Eventually, after many frustrated sighs and frowns, Harry couldn’t ignore the need to make things better any longer. One thing he hated was fighting with Louis, and now that he had had the time to think it over, he began to see things from Louis’ perspective. After putting the muffins in the oven, he wiped his hands on a towel and headed upstairs. He paused at the bedroom door, taking a deep breath before quietly opening it and stepping inside.

Louis was sitting on the edge of the bed, a massive pile of clean clothes in front of him waiting to be folded. He looked as sad as Harry felt, his shoulders slumped and his gaze distant.

Harry walked over to him, but before he could speak, Louis looked up, his eyes filled with regret. “Harry, I can’t apologize enough. I know what I did was wrong. You were right. I should have spoken to you.”

Harry didn’t hesitate. He sat down beside him and pulled him into a tight hug, feeling the tension in Louis’ body gradually ease. He kissed the top of his head, a tender gesture meant to convey his own remorse.

“I’m sorry too.”

Harry was about to say more when they both heard Saxon and Delilah squeal with excitement from downstairs. They looked at each other and laughed, the sound of their children’s joy breaking the tension.

“Oh my god, what are they doing?” Louis asked, his voice lighter now.

Harry shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Playing hide and seek, I think. Anyway, I gotta check on those muffins.”

He leaned in and kissed Louis properly this time, a slow and reassuring kiss that promised forgiveness and understanding. Harry returned downstairs to his muffins while Louis finally managed to start folding the laundry. 

Meanwhile, Saxon darted up the stairs, his footsteps light and quick. Reaching his room, he paused at the doorway, his eyes scanning the space eagerly. The thrill of the game filled him with excitement as he quickly searched for the perfect hiding spot.

Just as he settled into his hiding place, he heard Delilah’s small feet padding up the stairs. Her voice, a mix of determination and playfulness, floated up to him.

“Where are you, Sax-o?”

Delilah’s search began methodically, her little face scrunched up in concentration as she checked every corner of the upstairs rooms. When she couldn’t find him, her playful tone shifted to one of concern. Her steps became slower, more hesitant, as she entered Saxon’s room and began to look around.

“Saxon? Please, Saxon, I give up. Come out now, please.” she cried, her voice trembling slightly as she wiped her little tearful cheeks. Her tiny hands clutched at her dress, her big eyes scanning the room with growing worry.

Hearing Delilah’s heart-wrenching whimpers, it was fortunate that Louis was in the nearby bedroom. He rushed to her side, dropping to his knees to meet her eye level.

“Baby, what’s the matter?” he asked gently, wiping away her tears.

Delilah sniffled, waiting for Louis to finish before speaking.

“Saxon is gone, Daddy.”

Her words sent a jolt of fear through Louis, his heart pounding. “What?” he asked, his voice filled with panic as his eyes darted around the room.

“I looked everywhere, Daddy. He isn’t here.” Delilah said, her small voice trembling.

Louis felt a wave of dread wash over him, his mind racing as he tried to process her words. His thoughts already floating back to Harry’s words. Had that call given Saxon false Hope? Had Saxon run away to find Chris?

Louis sprang into action, his movements frantic and swift. He tore open the cupboards, peered behind the curtains, and checked every possible hiding spot. His mind raced with flashbacks of that dreadful day at the park, each memory fueling his growing panic.

“Go get papa. Please sweetheart, go now.”

With Delilah running off instantly, he backed slowly towards the bedroom door, tears welling up in his eyes. The fear was overwhelming. Standing in the doorway, his voice broke as he began to yell out, desperately calling Saxon’s name.

“Saxon….. baby…you come out right this instant. SAXON!”

His eyes darted frantically around the room, his heart not only pounding in his chest but tightening, crushing his last breath.

But then…

He noticed something.

Surely not.

Was Saxon no longer in the room? Was he deliberately hiding to scare Louis? Had something far more sinister happened? Or had something on a larger scale transpired, one that neither of them could have ever imagined?

Slowly, he took a step. And then another. Two more and then… his breath hitched.

Surely not. He repeated to himself. There was no way.

He takes a moment to compose himself just as he believes he faintly hears Harry and Delilah approaching the stairs.

He extends his hand and lifts the toy box lid.

Upon seeing him there, he lets out a loud exhale, feeling a surge of relief wash over him as he gazes down at Saxon, who remains motionless. Saxon’s eyes are wide open, displaying a massive expression of fear. It is evident that he is petrified, caught in a state of profound shock.

“Shit.”

Louis reaches down and gently lifts him out, bringing him to his feet.

Just then, Louis hears Delilah.

“Oh, yay, you found him! Saxon is good at hide-and-seek, isn’t he, Papa?”

However, Louis does not hear Harry’s response to her, as he is too focused on Saxon’s face, just as Saxon is intently zoned in on him. The room falls silent as Louis attempts to step forward, but Saxon instinctively retreats back.

Great. Louis wonders if Saxon is scared because he is worried that he is in serious trouble, not only for frightening Delilah but also for ignoring Louis’ call and refusing to leave his hiding spot.

“You okay love? You could have-”

However, a type of panic has overcome Saxon as he utters words that transport Louis back a full six years.

“Sorry daddy, me thought it was funny. Me love to play boo.”

Louis’ jaw drops, stunned. Saxon hasn’t looked away, his eyes fixed on Louis, both of them frozen in place.

“What did you just say?” Louis finally asks, his voice trembling.

Louis patiently waits for Saxon to respond, but nothing comes of it, he remains silent, his face adorned with tears and a quivering lip. But Louis needs to be sure, he seeks clarification and confirmation to ensure that this situation is not merely a figment of his imagination.

“Promise me now, no more boo okay?”

With more tears in his eyes, Saxon’s quivering lips finally utter the words Louis had been eagerly hoping for.

“No boo.”

They both just stand there in complete shock until Harry makes his presence known.

“What is happening right now?”

But Louis is unable to speak. Well, he can, just not to Harry.

“You.-” Louis takes a step closer to Saxon.

“Yes, I just remembered that. You said that to me when I hid in the box just before going to the park that day. ” Saxon admits.

Louis steadily lowers himself to a kneeling position, supporting himself with his feet behind him, maintaining unwavering eye contact. Louis has to clasp a hand over his mouth as tears cascade down his cheeks.

But it isn’t until Saxon walks towards Louis and places himself down onto his knees too, that Harry finally realises the miracle taking place.

“Papa, why are they so sad?”

Harry gently takes Delilah’s hand and places a finger to his lips, indicating for her to remain silent as he guides them both out of the room, allowing Louis to enjoy and bask in this special interaction he has dreamed of, their precious moment.

Just before he shuts the door, Harry hears Saxon’s voice, trembling and apologetic.

“I am so sorry. That’s all I can remember. I’m really sorry.”

Harry glances back once more, just in time to see the pair in their first tight embrace. And just like that, Harry smiles.

Louis and Saxon hug = 1

🚨

Louis works at his desk, the steady rhythm of typing and murmured conversations blending into a soothing white noise as he pushes to get the last of his work done. His phone buzzes beside him, pulling his attention away from the last handful of letters that needed sorting. Glancing down, he feels a sudden jolt of anxiety when he sees the caller ID: Detective Reign.

His heart races, a sinking feeling settling in his stomach. Something inside him whispers that this call won’t bring good news. Swallowing hard, he picks up the phone and answers, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Hello, Detective. Is everything okay?”

The silence on the other end seems to stretch for a moment too long. When Detective Reign finally speaks, his tone is grave and measured. “Is it possible for you to come down to the station after work this evening? I’m in the office until 6:30 PM.“

Louis almost forgets to breathe, his mind racing with possibilities. “Sure. I finish at 5 PM today, so I’ll head straight over. Does this involve something to do with Luke?”

“I’d prefer to discuss this matter in person.” is all he offers as a response and that doesn’t sit well.

“Okay.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you then.“ the detective replies, his voice carrying a weight that only heightens Louis’ anxiety.

Louis quickly refocuses on his work, though his thoughts are a jumbled mess. The minutes crawl by as he rushes to finish his tasks, his mind constantly drifting back to the detective’s ominous tone. He glances at the clock repeatedly, each tick of the second hand amplifying his anxiety.

Finally, 5 PM arrives. Louis grabs his jacket and heads out of the office, deciding not to inform Harry just yet. After all, it could be nothing, and he doesn’t want to worry him unnecessarily.

The drive to the police station feels longer than usual, the city’s familiar streets seeming almost foreign under the weight of his worry. As he pulls into the parking lot, the setting sun casts long shadows over the station, giving it an imposing look. Louis takes a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves, before walking towards the entrance.

Inside, the air is cool and the fluorescent lights harsh. The front desk officer recognizes him immediately and motions for him to wait. Within minutes, Detective Reign appears, his expression serious and his tone is formal and businesslike.

“Mr. Tomlinson, please follow me.”

Louis follows, his footsteps echoing in the sterile corridors. Eventually, they reach Reign’s office. The detective holds the door open, and Louis steps inside, taking in the room’s austere furnishings and the stack of files on the desk.

“Have a seat.” Reign says, closing the door behind them. Louis sits down, his hands resting uneasily on his lap.

The detective moves behind his desk and sits, fixing Louis with a steady gaze.

“Thank you for coming in so promptly. There’s something we need to discuss.”

Louis nods, his heart pounding.

“Of course. What’s this about?”

Detective Reign pauses, choosing his words carefully.

“We have spoken several times with Mr Luke Hemmings.”

Louis feels a chill run down his spine.

“I see…and?”

Reign leans forward slightly.

“Now look, before I proceed, please remember, I am on your side. Any decisions made either by yourself or the courts are out of my control.”

Louis’ breath catches, and he struggles to maintain his composure.

“Courts? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Let’s get straight into it. “ Reign says, opening a file on his desk.

As the detective begins to outline the situation, Louis’ mind races, each revelation bringing a new wave of concern. The feeling that something was terribly wrong had been right, and now he was about to face it head-on.

“Mr Hemmings has made a claim that he would like to maintain contact with his “nephew” Saxon. Now, if you disagree with this, which you have ever right to, Mr Hemmings can then apply to courts and-”

“I am sorry what!”

Louis sits in stunned disbelief, his mind struggling to process what Reign has just said. The office suddenly feels smaller, the air much thicker.

“I’m sorry, what?” Louis finally manages to say again, his voice shaky.

Reign maintains a calm demeanour, though his eyes convey understanding.

“Mr. Hemmings has expressed a desire to maintain contact with Saxon. If you disagree with this, he can pursue the matter through the courts.”

Louis shakes his head, trying to grasp the implications. “You are kidding me. What should I do?”

Reign leans back slightly, his expression neutral. “I’m afraid I can’t advise you on that. It’s a personal decision, and it involves legal considerations that you might want to discuss with a lawyer.”

Louis’ mind races with questions, the foremost being how this would even work.

“How often does he want contact? And in what form? Visits? Phone calls?”

The detective opens the file again, scanning through the notes.

“Mr. Hemmings hasn’t specified the details yet. Typically, these arrangements can vary. It could be regular visits, phone calls, or even supervised meetings, depending on what is agreed upon or mandated by the court.”

Louis rubs his temples, feeling a headache coming on. “And what do you think about him? Do you think he’s trustworthy? What’s your impression of his character?”

Reign considers the question carefully before responding. “From our interactions, Mr. Hemmings appears to be sincere in his desire to maintain a relationship with Saxon. He doesn’t have a criminal record, and his demeanor has been cooperative and respectful. However, trust is a subjective matter. My assessment is based on professional observations, but it ultimately comes down to what you feel is best for Saxon.”

Louis trusts Reign’s judgment, but the detective’s words don’t ease his anxiety. He feels torn, unsure of how to proceed.

“So, you think he’s genuine?”

Reign nods. “I do, but again, you know your family’s situation better than anyone. It’s important to weigh all aspects before making a decision. This could have significant impacts on Saxon and your family as a whole.”

“Thank you, Detective. I appreciate your honesty.”

Reign gives a small, supportive smile.

“You’re welcome. Take your time to consider your options. And if you need any further assistance, you know where to find me.”

Louis nods, feeling a bit more grounded but still overwhelmed. As he stands to leave, he knows he has a lot to think about and discuss with Harry. But for now, he needs to process everything he’s just learned.

Louis returned to his car and as he sat in the driver’s seat, he picked up his phone, which he had deliberately left behind. The screen lit up, displaying five missed calls from Harry. A quick glance at the clock confirmed it was later than he had thought.

Driving home, Louis’ mind raced with how he would explain everything to Harry. The closer he got, the more his anxiety built. By the time he parked in front of their house, his hands were shaking slightly.

He opened the front door, and Harry came up the hallway at a fast pace, his face etched with concern.

“Where have you been, sweetheart? I’ve been so worried.”

Before Louis could answer, he fell into Harry’s arms, hugging his torso tightly. The familiar warmth and strength of Harry’s embrace brought a wave of relief.

“I had a call from Reign.” Louis murmured, his voice muffled against Harry’s chest.

Harry’s arms tightened around him, his concern evident. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Louis pulled back slightly, looking up at Harry’s worried eyes. “There’s something we need to talk about. Let’s go sit down.”

They moved to the living room away from little ears, and Louis recounted the conversation with the detective. He explained Luke’s desire to maintain contact with Saxon and the potential legal implications. Harry listened intently, his expression shifting from concern to contemplation.

“I don’t know what to do, Harry.” Louis said, his voice breaking.

“Um, Delilah has fallen asleep at the kitchen table.”

Both Louis and Harry turned around, momentarily caught off guard by the sound of Saxon’s voice. Louis had temporarily forgotten that Saxon was there.

“I’ll get her.” Louis said as he walked past Saxon, offering him a gentle, reassuring smile.

As Louis disappeared into the hallway, Harry turned his attention to Saxon, who looked somewhat sad, his shoulders slumped and eyes downcast.

“Is he upset because of me? Because of Chris? I haven’t thanked him yet.” Saxon asked.

Harry knelt down.

“No, buddy, he’s not upset with you, I promise. Sometimes grown-ups just have a lot on their minds. You wanna run along and brush your teeth?”

Saxon nodded slowly, still looking uncertain. Harry ruffled his hair affectionately, trying to offer some comfort before Saxon trudged off to the bathroom.

In the meantime, Louis found Delilah slumped over the kitchen table, her tiny frame rising and falling with each peaceful breath. He gently lifted her, careful not to wake her, and carried her to her room. After tucking her in and making sure she was comfortable, he quietly exited, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

Walking past Saxon’s room, Louis noticed the door slightly ajar. Peeking inside, he saw Saxon sitting on his bed, holding a book but not reading it. His eyes were distant, lost in thought. Louis knocked softly before entering and sitting down beside him.

“Hey there, you alright? Are you not interested in that book?” Louis asked, his voice soft and soothing. He picked up the book, examining the space-themed cover with its vibrant pictures of planets and stars.

“How many planets are—” he began, but before he could finish, Saxon lunged forward, wrapping his small arms tightly around him.

“Thank you very much.” Saxon whispered softly, his voice barely audible against Louis’ chest.

Louis didn’t need to ask why Saxon was thanking him; the meaning behind the words was clear. He hugged Saxon back, holding him close and offering the comfort he needed. After a few moments, he pulled back slightly, looking into Saxon’s eyes.

“Hey, you wanna sneak downstairs with me and have a hot chocolate?” Louis suggested, his tone conspiratorial and warm.

Saxon’s face lit up with a wide, genuine smile, and in that moment, Louis knew that despite all the shitty stuff that keeps happening, he and Saxon, would be alright and that smile meant everything to him.

🚨

Harry and Louis had spent days discussing what to do about Luke’s request to maintain contact with Saxon. The uncertainty and stress weighed heavily on both of them. Every conversation circled back to the same fears and questions, neither of them able to settle their minds.

One evening, as they sat together at the kitchen table, their expressions were serious and contemplative. Papers and notes were scattered in front of them, remnants of their ongoing discussions.

“I spoke to Peter again today.” Harry said, breaking the silence. He had called his lawyer, Peter, back in LA, hoping for some clarity and guidance.

Louis looked up from the documents, his eyes reflecting the worry he felt.

“What did he say?”

Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“He said if it goes to court, they would most likely grant Luke access. The court will base their judgement on the best interests of the child.”

Louis’ shoulders slumped, the weight of that statement settling over him. “But how can they know what’s truly best for Saxon? Luke hasn’t been there for him in person in the past. How do we explain that to the court?”

Harry reached across the table, taking Louis’ hand in his. “Peter said we need to focus on what’s consistent and stable for Saxon. The court will consider emotional bonds and the potential impact on Saxon’s well-being.”

“But Luke wasn’t consistent in his life.” Louis said with frustration.

“I know, but either were we Lou.” Harry replied softly. “But Peter also mentioned that the court could see maintaining contact with “relatives”  he believed was his, as beneficial. It’s all about potential future benefits for Saxon and what he wants as well. The judge will take it all into account.”

They sat in silence for a moment, each lost in their thoughts.

“We have to consider all options, because I don’t like any of this.” Louis finally said sounding so defeated before the fight had even begun. “We need to think about what’s best for Saxon, but also prepare ourselves for the possibility that Luke might get granted access.”

Harry nodded, squeezing Louis’s hand. “I hate the idea of this going to court. It feels so invasive, having strangers decide what’s best for our family.”

“I know.” Louis agreed. “But if we have to, we’ll fight for Saxon. We need to be prepared and make sure we present our case as best we can.”

They spent the next few hours going over potential strategies, jotting down points they wanted to discuss with Peter and making notes on how to approach the situation. The tension was ever-present, but the act of planning brought a small measure of relief.

As the night wore on, they moved to the living room, seeking comfort in the familiarity of their shared space. Harry pulled Louis close, and they sat together on the couch.

“You know what babe, hold off on any decision for now alright. Do you trust me?”

Louis nodded.

“One hundred percent.”

“Good. Leave it with me.”

For the next couple of days, Harry’s behavior grew increasingly secretive. He would leave the house for hours at a time, and Louis, though initially curious, quickly realized that asking where he was going was futile. Harry never provided a straight answer, and the ambiguity was starting to weigh on Louis.

Louis guessed it must be one of those ‘the less you know, the better’ types of situations. Despite his unease, he tried to focus on his own tasks and caring for the children. Yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling of anxiety that crept in whenever Harry left without explanation.

One evening, as Louis was tidying up the living room after putting the kids to bed, he heard the front door open and close. He turned to see Harry, looking more worn out than usual, shrugging off his coat and hanging it by the door. Harry’s eyes met Louis’, but he quickly looked away, heading straight to the kitchen.

Louis followed, unable to keep his concerns bottled up any longer. He found Harry leaning against the counter, a distant look in his eyes.

“Harry, what’s going on? You’ve been leaving every day without saying a word, and I’m worried.” Louis began, his voice tinged with frustration and concern. “So much so, I think we should just concede and meet with Luke to see what terms we can come up with. This whole court thing is just—”

“No, that will NOT be happening, Lou. I’m sorry. I’ve been… trying to handle this, and it’s been a lot. It’s been hard.”

“Handle what? And what do you mean no? I know I said I trusted you, but you can’t keep shutting me out.” Louis replied, stepping closer, his eyes searching Harry’s for answers.

Harry took a deep breath, his expression serious. “Luke is NOT as innocent as he appeared to be, Louis. He won’t be going anywhere near our son, not now, not ever. Do you hear me?”

Louis looked at Harry, a mix of confusion and worry on his face.

“What are you talking about? What have you found out?”

Harry looked at him, his eyes showing a flicker of guilt. “I’ve been meeting with Garcia, Gabby and Reign. We’ve been discussing our options, trying to find a way to ensure that Luke’s claim doesn’t disrupt our lives, but-”

Louis’ expression softened slightly.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? What do you mean he isn’t innocent? Harry, tell me!” Louis demanded, his voice a mixture of frustration and desperation.

“Because I didn’t want to worry you more than you already are… and… um…” Harry trailed off, struggling to find the right words.

Louis reached out, taking Harry’s hand in his. “Harry, what is it?”

Harry squeezed Louis’ hand, drawing strength from the contact. “Luke was the one who sent that message about Saxon being spotted at the Eurotunnel that time, Louis. He knew about Saxon. He lied. He found out from Chris not long before, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn his brother in. He tried to reach out to us because he wanted to do the right thing, but then he panicked. The reason he travels so much and only FaceTimed Saxon and Chris is because he couldn’t stand to be around Chris anymore, not after discovering what he had done. Unfortunately, Luke had already formed a bond with Saxon, but that doesn’t change anything in my eyes. He knew, Louis. He lied to us!”

Louis stood stunned, his mind reeling from the revelation. He was utterly grateful that Delilah was asleep and that it was Saturday, meaning Saxon was back at the safety house. Right now, he couldn’t control his emotions even if he tried.

“What the hell do you mean? Did Reign find this out? How?” Louis demanded, his voice sharp with disbelief and anger.

Harry looked visibly nervous, shifting uncomfortably. “No, he didn’t… I did.”

“How?” Louis’ eyes narrowed, his impatience growing.

Harry just stared at him, seemingly at a loss for words.

“Harry, how do you know this? Did Zayn start digging, or did—”

“Louis, listen to me. I found out.”

“One more time, Harry. How?”

Louis’ voice was a low, dangerous growl now, demanding an answer.

Harry swallowed hard, knowing the next few words were going to cause a rift. He took a deep breath, bracing himself.

“I went and saw Chris.”

Louis froze, his eyes widening in shock.

“You what? You went to see Chris? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“I had to, Louis. I needed to get the truth from him, to understand what we were dealing with.” Harry explained, his voice steady but laced with an underlying tension.

“You think going to see Chris was the answer? After everything he’s done?” Louis’ voice rose, a mix of anger and incredulity.

Harry ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his expression.

“I didn’t have a choice. I needed to hear it from him, to see if he would admit to anything. And he did. He confirmed everything.”

Louis paced the room, trying to process this revelation.

“So, Chris told you about Luke? That he knew all along?”

“Yes.” Harry repeated quietly and explained all over again. “Chris admitted that Luke knew about Saxon. He explained that Luke had found out from him but couldn’t bring himself to turn Chris in. That’s why Luke reached out to us but then panicked. He wanted to do the right thing but was torn because of his loyalty to his brother.”

Louis stopped pacing and turned to face Harry, his eyes filled with a mix of hurt and fury. “And you thought it was a good idea to keep this from me? To handle it on your own?”

“I didn’t want to burden you with it until I had all the facts.” Harry replied, his voice pained. “I thought I was protecting you, and I knew you wouldn’t have let me do it otherwise.”

“No, damn right I wouldn’t have, and i am surprised Reign did either.”

“ Well…..”

Louis just shook his head.

“And what, Chris just gave you all this information freely did he?”

Harry felt a wave of nervousness wash over him, his stomach knotting as he tried to maintain a brave front. He moved back slightly, anticipating Louis’ reaction. “No, not exactly.” Harry said, his voice trembling slightly.

Louis took a careful step towards him, his eyes narrowing. “What does that mean? What did you do?” He noticed the way Harry began shifting on his feet, bouncing slightly—a clear sign of how terrified he was.

“Look, Louis, just listen to me fully first before you say anything, alright?” Harry pleaded, his eyes wide with fear.

Louis’s gaze was piercing, but he nodded, allowing Harry to continue.

Harry swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. “I had to strike up a deal. Chris will make sure Luke disappears and leaves us all alone.”

Louis’ expression shifted from confusion to anger, his face flushing with rage. “Yeah, for what in return, Harry?” he demanded through gritted teeth.

Harry stumbled over his words, struggling to get them out. “He will keep Luke away if I bring Saxon to the prison to see him one last time. Just me and Saxon.”

Louis’ eyes blazed with fury. “You agreed to that? You put our son in that position without talking to me first?”

Harry stepped back, feeling the full force of Louis’ anger. “I didn’t know what else to do, Louis. Chris said it was the only way to ensure Luke stayed away from us. I was desperate to protect Saxon.”

“By taking him to see the man who kidnapped him? You really have lost the plot this time H.”

Louis’ voice was rising, the intensity of his anger filling the room.

Harry’s hands were shaking now.

“I thought it was the best option. I couldn’t think of another other way to guarantee Saxon’s safety.”

Louis took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but the betrayal cut deep.

“We’re supposed to be a team, Harry. You can’t make these decisions on your own, especially when it comes to our son. You literally went mad at me about the phone call but seeing Chris.”

Harry’s eyes filled with tears, his fear and regret palpable. “I’m sorry, Louis, but I think it’s the right thing to do.”

“Can’t we just tell Reign what Chris has said, what you know about Luke. Then we can win a court case.”

“It’s my word against his.”

Louis turned away, trying to collect his thoughts. “And Reign and Garcia are okay with all of this?”

“No. They hated it. I had to get approvals done and thats what ive been doing all week but-”

“Does Saxon know about this?” Louis’ voice cracked, and Harry could hear the tears even though he couldn’t see them. The guilt gnawed at him, but he stood firm, convinced this was the right path.

“Not yet. I wanted to check with you first.” Harry replied.

Louis let out a bitter laugh.

“Well, better late than never, I guess.”

The words stung but Harry pressed on.

“Louis, you said you trusted me. I wouldn’t allow this if I didn’t think it would work.”

Harry knew it would work because he wasn’t telling Louis the full extent of the deal. Chris had promised more than just keeping Luke away—he had offered something else, something Harry wasn’t ready to reveal just yet.

“You’re right, Harry. I do trust you.” Louis said, his voice softening. “I’ll think about it.”

“Don’t take too long Lou. I am supposed to take Saxon there in three days.”

Louis was now confronted with a monumental decision that burdened his conscience. It was a critical decision for him to make, whether to place his trust in Harry’s judgment, despite the inherent risks involved, and give his consent to a plan that held the potential to profoundly and permanently alter the course of their lives.

🚨🚨🚨

A/N

So a few things happened hahaha. What was your favourite? What are your thoughts and……….

ONE CHAPTER TO GO 😬😬😬

Chapter 24 - The final Chapter

A/N

Here we are ! The final chapter.

Hope you guys like it. Thank you to everyone for coming on this ride with me. I’ve really enjoyed writing this story. Big A/N at the bottom. Don’t miss it. Enjoy this last chapter. ☺️🫶🩵💚

P.s One time jump. Keep your eyes peeled.

’ Every situation in life is temporary. When life is good, make sure to enjoy it fully. When life is not so good, remember that it will not last forever and better days are on the way.’

🚨

The moment Louis stepped out of the car was when he first held his breath. Their eyes met across the roof, the decision to go there, now hung heavily between them.

“Are you really sure about this?” Harry questioned, though he instantly regretted it. Louis had been agonizing over the decision for days, his answers shifting back and forth like a pendulum. Harry knew deep down that Louis didn’t want any part of this. Seeing his partner’s face now, etched with fear and anxiety, only deepened his own sense of guilt. It was probably Louis’ first time in a prison, but thanks to his own father’s wrongdoings, Harry was all too familiar with the cold, oppressive environment of such places.

Louis looked around vaguely, taking in the imposing structure before them, then looked back at Harry and nodded.

“Yes, I’m sure. Let’s get this over with.” he said, his voice resolute despite the turmoil inside.

Louis walked around and opened Saxon’s car door. He climbed out, his small eyes scanning the area curiously but warily. He clutched Louis’ hand tightly, sensing the tension in the air.

The prison loomed before them, a monolithic structure of cold, grey concrete and steel. Its high walls were topped with barbed wire, glinting menacingly in the dim light. The entrance was flanked by tall watchtowers, each manned by vigilant guards. The place exuded an aura of foreboding, a stark reminder of the lives confined within its walls.

As they approached the entrance, the heavy iron gate creaked open, revealing a long corridor lined with reinforced doors. The sound of their footsteps echoed ominously off the stone floor, the harsh fluorescent lights casting stark shadows along the walls. The air was thick with the scent of antiseptic and metal, a sterile, almost suffocating atmosphere.

They reached the end of the hall where a guard pointed at them towards a counter to sign in. After scribbling their names on the register, the uncomfortable part began. They had to be searched. Harry didn’t mind the procedure, having been through it before, but watching Saxon, so small and innocent, go through it felt utterly wrong.

Once the checks were completed, Louis turned to Harry with a pleading look.

“I want to come in there too.”

Harry shook his head firmly.

“You can’t come in, Lou. We won’t be long.”

The reasons were twofold: Harry didn’t want Louis to experience the anger and pain of seeing Chris, and he also needed to uphold the agreement he had already made.

He leaned in, kissing Louis on the cheek just as the guard signalled for him and Saxon to follow. Louis watched them walk away, his heart sinking as he saw the sadness in Saxon’s eyes when the boy glanced back.

Suddenly, Saxon let go of Harry’s hand and ran back towards Louis. For a fleeting moment, Louis felt a surge of hope, thinking Saxon had changed his mind about going in. Saxon bolted into Louis’ arms, and Louis hugged him tightly, savouring the closeness.

Just as he was about to let go, Saxon whispered in his ear.

“He won’t hurt me. And he can’t take me. I am safe with Harry.”

Louis’ grip tightened for a brief second, his heart aching with pride and fear. Before he could respond, Saxon pulled away and ran back to Harry. With a blink of an eye, the guard led them through a heavy door that clanged shut behind them, leaving Louis standing alone in the waiting room.

“Tea or coffee?”

A voice startled Louis, drawing him out of his swirling thoughts. He turned to see an elderly man, clearly a worker at the prison, gesturing towards a table with a modest selection of refreshments.

“Tea, please.” Louis replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

The man poured a cup and handed it to him, his weathered face showing a kind, understanding smile.

“Here you go. Helps to calm the nerves a bit.” he said, his tone gentle.

Louis took the cup with a nod of thanks, wrapping his hands around it as if trying to draw warmth from it. The elderly man didn’t leave, instead hovering nearby, clearly sensing Louis’ anxiety.

“First time here?” the man asked, settling into a chair nearby.

Louis nodded, taking a cautious sip of his tea. “Yes, first time.”

The man gave a sympathetic nod. “It’s never easy, especially with little ones involved. I see it all the time. Families torn apart, trying to hold on.”

Louis felt a lump forming in his throat but managed to smile weakly. “We are fine. We are just visiting someone, well they are, not me so much.”

It must have been something in the way Louis had tried to sound so convincing, so defensive that makes the man continue on.

The man patted his knee in a comforting gesture. “You know, I’ve been working here for years. Seen a lot of folks come and go. It’s always the ones who stick together that make it through.”

Louis nodded, appreciating the man’s attempt to comfort him. They sat in silence for a while, the older man occasionally making small talk, sharing stories about his own grandchildren, trying to ease the tension.

After some time, the man’s eyes seemed to light up with recognition.

“Wait a minute, I think I know you. You have been on T.V yeah? You’re the one who got his son back after that terrible ordeal, aren’t you?”

Louis’ eyes widened slightly in surprise.

“Yes, that’s me.”

The man smiled warmly, his eyes twinkling. “You’re lucky, you know. Many aren’t as fortunate. It’s a blessing to have your family together again.”

Louis felt a wave of gratitude wash over him. “Thank you. It’s been a long road, but we’re getting there.”

The elderly man nodded. “Just remember, no matter how tough it gets, you’ve got each other. That’s what counts.”

Louis sipped his tea, feeling a bit of the tension ease from his shoulders. The wait was still agonising, but the man’s words provided a small, much-needed comfort…until….

“So what brought you here today?”

And that….he was NOT going to explain.

“Business.” Louis had semi lied.

🚨

Meanwhile, Harry and Saxon followed a guard through the maze of corridors, each step bringing them closer to the reunion Harry had been dreading. Finally, they reached a small, windowless room with a single table and chairs bolted to the floor. The guard motioned for them to sit, then exited, the door clanging shut behind him.

They sat down, the silence thick and oppressive. Harry’s fingers drummed nervously on the table while Saxon’s leg bounced restlessly underneath. Minutes ticked by, each one stretching longer than the last. Harry’s ears pricked at the faint sound of jingling keys growing louder as they approached the door. He knew Chris was close.

The door creaked open, and Chris stepped in, his eyes immediately finding Saxon. Harry forced himself to look at Saxon, trying to focus on his son’s reaction rather than the man who had caused so much pain. Saxon’s face lit up with a wide smile, a pure, innocent joy that made Harry’s heart ache.

But Chris was smiling too, a broad grin that Harry couldn’t ignore. The sight of it made Harry’s stomach churn. Chris moved forward, his gaze shifting between Harry and Saxon, and took a seat across from them.

“Oh gosh, hey my sweetheart.” Chris greeted, his voice warm and affectionate.

Saxon’s smile grew even bigger.

“I’ve missed you.”

Harry fought to keep his composure, his jaw clenched tightly. He hated this, hated every second of it. He could feel the tension radiating off his own body, his mind racing with thoughts of how wrong this all felt.

Chris’ eyes flickered to Harry, a faint glimmer of something unspoken passing between them. Harry knew what it was-Chris was aware of the deal, aware of the stakes. They both understood that this moment, however painful, was necessary.

“Harry.” Chris said, nodding slightly in acknowledgment.

“Chris.” Harry replied tersely, his voice strained. He couldn’t muster anything more, not with Saxon sitting there, oblivious to the deeper undercurrents.

They sat in a strained silence, the air thick with unspoken words and heavy emotions. Saxon, still smiling, seemed to be the only one unaware of the gravity of the situation.

Finally, Chris broke the silence, leaning forward slightly.

“I’m glad you came, Ben.”

“Saxon!” Harry interjects.

“Sorry, yes, Saxon. It means a lot to me that you are here.”

Saxon nodded, his innocent enthusiasm unwavering.

Harry swallowed hard, forcing himself to stay composed. This was for Saxon, he reminded himself. All of it was for Saxon.

Saxon got up and flung himself across the table, hugging Chris tightly. Harry looked straight over to the guard, whose stern expression made it clear.

“Separate immediately.” the guard ordered.

Harry pried Saxon off, trying to be gentle yet firm. Chris sat there quietly, a strange mix of emotions flickering across his face.

“Do you like your new home?” Chris asked, his voice calm.

Harry’s anger flared. How dare he put Saxon in that position?

“I love it, I love it a lot. I have a sister too. And Harry and Louis are so nice to me. But um, when do you get out of here, Dad? Do I get to see you again?”

Harry gave Chris a pointed look. Now was the time. Chris needed to stick to his part of the deal.

“Saxon, you need to listen.” Chris began, his tone shifting to a solemn note. “What I did that day was wrong, by kidnapping you, because that is exactly what I did Saxon, I took you away and it was wrong, I should have never have done it. Now, I wish for you to get to know your real parents. I love you, I really do, but you need to let me go. I’m a bad person, and you deserve to live a good life with your real parents, the way it was always supposed to be.”

Saxon’s face crumpled with distress. “No.” he cried, his voice rising in pitch and volume. “No, don’t say that dad!”

Harry’s glare intensified, urging Chris to finish it, to put the final nail in the coffin.

Chris took a deep breath, his facade hardening. “You are not my son. Don’t call me that, don’t write to me, and do not come here again. Do you hear me, boy?”

For a split second, Harry felt a pang of guilt, seeing through the false bravado in Chris’ words. He knew Chris was hurting too, but then he remembered the immense pain Louis had endured and quickly dismissed any sympathy.

“What?” Saxon sobbed.

“You need to forget me just like I have already forgotten you. Now go, get lost.”

Chris stood up, giving Saxon one last look. Saxon, with tears streaming down his face, stared at the table. Harry and Chris shared a final, knowing look.

It was done.

Chris turned and walked away, ignoring the heart-wrenching cry Saxon let out.

“Dad!” He cried. “What did I do wrong?

He turned inwards in order to cuddle Harry.

“Why does he hate me?” He sobbed into Harry’s arms. “What did I do, Harry?”

The door closed behind Chris with a resounding clang, leaving Harry to comfort the sobbing boy. Fuck this hurt Harry more than he could have imagined. As much as he thought this out, he didn’t take into account how hurtful and heartbreaking it would be for Saxon.

“You did nothing baby, nothing wrong at all.”

Back in the other room, Louis paced the waiting area, his anxiety growing with every passing minute. Reign and Garcia had advised against the visit, especially now that Chris had been formally sentenced. Time dragged on, each second feeling like an eternity. Louis looked around the sterile environment, his heart aching at the thought of his son being in a place like this. This was no place for his son.

After what felt like forever-27 minutes, to be exact-the doors finally opened. Harry and Saxon appeared, walking side by side. Harry’s arm was draped protectively around Saxon’s shoulders. Louis’ heart skipped a beat at the sight of them. He wanted to rush over, to demand to know everything that had happened, but the look on Saxon’s face stopped him in his tracks.

Saxon’s eyes were red and puffy, his face etched with a sadness that cut Louis to the core. Harry gave Louis a bleak smile, shaking his head slightly. “Not now.” he seemed to say, urging Louis to wait.

Louis gently rubbed Saxon’s back as he walked past, feeling the boy’s tension under his fingertips.

They strolled in silence, with Louis bidding a courteous farewell to the guard with whom he had engaged in an enjoyable conversation with, before finally reaching outside. Just metres from the car, Harry took hold of Louis’ arm, stopping him.

“He is alright. But just know, it’s over Lou, I promise you.” Harry whispered, his voice filled with a mixture of relief and exhaustion.

Saxon had reached the car and had his hand on the door handle. He looked back at Louis, and without hesitation, he ran to Louis, grasping at his side. Louis wrapped an arm around him, holding him close.

Saxon didn’t say a word, and neither did Louis. Yet somehow, in that silent embrace, they both knew that things were going to be alright. Louis held Saxon tightly, promising silently that he would never let anything like this happen again. They stood there for a moment, just holding each other, finding strength in their shared silence.

🚨

That night, as they lay in bed, Louis turned to Harry with a pensive expression.

“I just heard Saxon crying in bed, but it stopped almost instantly.” he said softly. “So different from the other nights we’ve had. What happened in there today, Harry?”

Harry hesitated, a secret weighing heavily on his heart-a secret he would take to the grave. He took a deep breath, knowing he had to be careful with his words.

“At first, Saxon was so ecstatic to see Chris, and Chris was just as happy to see him.” Harry began. “They hugged briefly before the guard glared at them, making them separate. Chris started by asking how Saxon was doing, if he was okay, and if he was being treated nicely. He played the nice guy, saying how much he missed him.”

Harry’s voice faltered as he recalled how much Saxon had loved hearing those words, and how eagerly he had said them back. “It was hard to watch.” he admitted. “But then I nodded at Chris, and that’s when it all changed.”

Harry knew what he was about to say next would be difficult, but he had to give Louis some of the truth. “I knew this needed to happen. I am sorry I went behind your back.”

But when being handed a lifeline it doesn’t always come free. In this case, freedom came with a hidden promise. This could have been the perfect opportunity for Harry to confess everything. But he chose not to. He didn’t mention the promise he made to Chris who had begged for Harry to send a photo of Saxon every Christmas, or how he himself had agreed to visit Chris on his birthday every year. Harry had already told Chris that he would just sit there in silence during these visits, and Chris had unsettlingly replied that he would just “admire him then.” Creepy as hell it had sounded, and Harry knew it was never going to happen. Now that he had what he needed, he wasn’t going to follow through, not for long anyway. He hated lying, but it seemed a minor compromise for the greater good of their family-he saw it as a clean slate, of sorts.

Louis looked at Harry, confusion and concern etched on his face. Harry continued.

“When I went to see Chris the other day to discuss Luke, Chris took his opportunity. He pleaded for me to let him see Saxon because he missed him so much, but I was there to end this Luke drama.”

Harry paused, gathering his thoughts. “When I explained how Saxon was crying every night and how difficult it was for him to move on, we struck an awkward deal. Chris convinced me that he would say goodbye to Saxon and make him move on if I promised to bring him to see him one last time.”

Louis gasped, but Harry pressed on. “It was a choice I had to make there and then. When I thought about how much you and Saxon would gain, how much our lives could return to normal and finally experience what we should have had all those years ago, I told him ’ If you really love me and Saxon like you say you do, then you will do this for both of us.’ and he did. I hated it all, but ultimately, seeing your happy faces each and every day from now on, would be worth it in the end.”

Harry’s voice cracked slightly.

“So I went ahead and made a deal with the devil.”

Louis was silent for a long moment, absorbing the weight of Harry’s words. He could see the torment in Harry’s eyes, the sacrifice he had made for their family. Finally, Louis spoke, his voice trembling.

“I… I understand why you did it, Harry. I just wish we could have faced it together.”

Harry nodded, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Me too babe. But you are not his favourite person, not when you have me and he doesn’t. But it’s over now. Chris told Saxon that what he did was wrong and that he wishes for Saxon to get to know his real parents. He told him that he loves him but that he needs to let him go, that he’s a bad person and Saxon deserves a good life with his real parents.”

Louis swallowed hard, imagining how difficult that must have been for Saxon to hear.

“And Saxon? How did he take it?”

“He got upset, kept saying ‘no’ over and over.” Harry said, his voice thick with emotion. “He became a little hysterical, and I had to glare at Chris to hurry up and keep his end of the deal. Chris finally told him. ‘You are not my son. Don’t call me, don’t write to me, and do not come here again.’ It was harsh, but it was what needed to be said.”

Louis felt a pang of sympathy for Chris, despite everything.

“And then?”

“Chris just turned and walked away.” Harry said. “Saxon cried out for him, calling him ‘Dad,’ but he didn’t look back. It was over.”

They lay there in silence for a while, processing the enormity of what had happened. Louis reached over and took Harry’s hand, squeezing it gently.

“Thank you, Harry. For doing what you thought was best for our family.”

Harry nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek. “I just want us to be happy, Lou. All of us.”

And in that quiet moment, they found a sense of peace, knowing they had done everything they could to protect their son and give him the life he deserved.

“Oh. One last thing. The first time I visited Chris. He gave me something.”

Harry leans out across the bed over to where his jeans lay spread on the floor. He pulls the object out of his pocket and hands it straight to Louis.

“He wanted Saxon to have this, but I wanted to discuss it with you first. What do we do with it?”

Louis just stares at the photo with a blank face.

“Is that Luke?”

“No. It’s Chris. They just look so much alike.” Harry clears his throat. “ Apparently it was taken not long after Chris took him from you.“

Louis’ goal in life now was not to never feel anger again because that just wasn’t humanly possible. However, his intention was to aim to understand his anger and to choose healthy ways to respond to it. It’s why he really wants to say ’ Sure give it to Saxon, so he has a reminder of the time he spent with him.’

But he just can do it.

“Burn it.”

Harry looks at him cautiously.

“Are you sure? Really really sure, Lou?”

“I said burn it.”

And that was the end of the discussion…and the end of Chris, well for them at least.

🚨

For the next couple of weeks, a melancholy hung over Saxon, a silent echo of his last encounter with Chris. His usually bright demeanor was replaced by a subdued sadness, but the Tomlinson household went out of their way to shower the boy with love and attention, rallying around him with unwavering devotion.

They transformed their days into a symphony of love and distraction, creating an environment filled with warmth and reassurance. Extra hours were spent in playful escapades, culinary delights crafted specifically to his taste, and bedtime stories were spun with extra magic and tenderness. Each day, they offered him comfort, understanding, and an abundance of affection.

Yet, it took time. Exactly three weeks and six days since that fateful visit with Chris, a subtle yet profound change occurred. Saxon went to bed without shedding a single tear, his eyes completely dry and his heart a little lighter. The next morning, he emerged from his room with a spark in his eyes that had been missing for too long. His laughter rang through the house like a sweet melody, infectious and pure. The transformation was undeniable, a testament to the healing power of familial love.

Every day thereafter was a celebration of rediscovered joy. The house, once shadowed by sadness, now blossomed with the sound of giggles and shared stories. The simple routines of daily life were imbued with a new energy. Saxon’s resilience shone brightly, and with each passing day, the family forged new, happier memories, solidifying their bond and dispelling the lingering shadows of the past. Each day brought new, happy memories, and the shadow of Chris’ influence slowly began to fade away.

But today, Louis woke up with a flutter of excitement he hadn’t felt in a long time. Today, he got to celebrate something he thought he might never experience again.

Today was Saxon’s birthday.

As he entered their bedroom, he found Harry folding the last part of the doona over the bed, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Are we going to take him down to the shop to buy it, or do we surprise him?” Louis asked, his voice tinged with anticipation.

Harry paused, considering the options. “Surprise him? I don’t know, Lou. Don’t you think it’s a bit strange that he hasn’t once mentioned his birthday? Most kids would be excited, but he hasn’t said a single word.”

Louis nodded, his initial excitement tempered by a trace of worry. It was true. Saxon hadn’t said anything about his birthday, and it had worried Louis at first. That’s why he too had kept quiet about it, just in case it was something Saxon didn’t want to discuss yet. But now, with the day upon them, there was no avoiding it any longer.

“I know.” Louis admitted, sitting on the edge of the bed. “It worried me too. Maybe he’s still processing everything. I just want to make today special for him.”

Harry sat down next to him, placing a reassuring hand on his knee. “We will, Lou. Whether he mentions it or not, we’ll make sure he knows how much he’s loved. We’ll surprise him, and if he’s not ready, we’ll follow his lead.”

Louis smiled, grateful for Harry’s steady presence. “You’re right. We’ll make it a day to remember, no matter what.”

They spent the next hour planning the day meticulously, making sure every detail was perfect. Harry would sneak out to get the cake and a few last-minute gifts while Louis kept Saxon busy with some light-hearted games.

As the sun climbed higher, Louis found himself humming a little tune as he moved around the kitchen, preparing a special breakfast. Saxon appeared, rubbing his eyes and looking adorably disheveled.

“Morning, sweetheart.” Louis greeted him cheerfully. “How did you sleep?”

“Good.” Saxon mumbled, climbing onto a stool and resting his head on his folded arms.

Louis ruffled his hair affectionately. “Guess what? We’ve got a fun day planned. How about we start with some pancakes? Your favourite ones of course.”

Saxon’s face lit up at the mention of pancakes, and for a moment, Louis caught a glimpse of the carefree child he had come to love so deeply.

As they sat down to eat, Louis couldn’t help but feel a swell of hope. Today was about more than just celebrating a birthday. It was about healing, and most importantly, about showing Saxon that he had a family who cherished him more than anything, and definitely, more than anyone .

By the time Harry returned, the house was filled with the mouth-watering aroma of pancakes and the sound of Saxon’s laughter as he and Louis engaged in a spirited game of charades while Delilah laughed on. Harry’s entrance was met with cheers, and Saxon, caught up in the excitement of the moment, didn’t even notice the bags Harry discreetly tucked away.

When it finally came time to reveal the surprise, Saxon’s eyes widened in disbelief at the sight of the birthday cake and the pile of gifts Harry had set up in the kitchen.

“Happy Birthday, Saxon!” Louis and Harry exclaimed in unison, their voices filled with warmth. Delilah was visibly surprised, as she was unaware of the surprise as well.

Saxon looked at them, his eyes shimmering with a mix of emotions.

“Thank you.” he whispered, his voice barely audible but filled with gratitude.

“But…”

Louis felt a jolt of panic. He wanted this day to be perfect.

“Oh no. Do you not like the cake? We can get another one or-”

“No. The cake is fine. It’s just… I’m a little confused. It’s not my birthday today.”

Louis’ brow furrowed in confusion.

“But… it is.”

Harry, catching on first, gently placed a hand on Louis’ shoulder.

“Saxon, when is your birthday?”

Saxon smiled proudly.

“February 1st.”

Louis opened his mouth to correct him, but Harry leaned in, whispering softly.

“Think about it, Lou. Chris never knew Saxon’s real birth date. He had to make one up, something close to what he thought it could be. Be it, he is off by a couple of months but Saxon’s birthday is today, November 8th. But Chris picked a date he could easily remember instead.”

“Your birthday.” Louis whispered, suddenly comprehending the significance of the date.

“Exactly.”

“Damn it. How do we tell him this, Harry?”

Louis glanced at Saxon, who was now watching them with a curious expression. He took a deep breath, kneeling down to Saxon’s level.

“Saxon, there’s something we need to explain to you. The date Chris told you, February 1st, isn’t your real birthday.”

Saxon’s face scrunched in confusion.

“But… why would he lie?”

Harry stepped in, his voice calm and soothing.

“Chris didn’t know your real birthday, so he picked a date that was close to when you were born and one he wouldn’t forget. Your actual birthday is today, November 8th.”

Saxon’s eyes widened in surprise, and he looked from Harry to Louis, processing the information.

“So… today is really my birthday? My actual real birthday.”

“Yes.” Louis said, his voice gentle. “Today is the day you were born. We wanted to make sure you knew, and celebrate it with you.”

Saxon stood there, absorbing the revelation. After a moment, he nodded slowly.

“Okay. This is amazing, weird, but it’s fine.” He looked up at them, a small smile forming. “Thank you for telling me.”

Relief washed over Louis, and he hugged Saxon tightly. “We love you, buddy. More than anything.”

Harry joined the embrace, adding, “We’re so proud of you, Saxon. Today is about celebrating you and all the joy you bring into our lives. Happy birthday, buddy.”

Saxon’s smile grew wider, and he glanced at the cake and the gifts, a new excitement lighting up his eyes.

“Can we still have the cake?”

“Of course.” Louis said, laughing softly. “And we have another present for you too.”

Louis looked to Harry who slightly titled his head.

“It’s over there by the front door. After cake, you can have a look, deal?”

“ Deal.“

As they gathered around the cake, Louis couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of contentment. Despite the confusion and the unexpected revelation, they were together, celebrating Saxon’s special day as a family. And that was all that truly mattered. Tonight Jay, Anne and all the other family will join them for dinner where Saxon will have his very first encounter with all his family members.

“OH MY GOD, You got me a bike. This is amazing. Like, this is the BEST present ever. Wow, look at it, it’s so big. Can we take it outside please. Can I ride it? Pleassse.”

As Delilah clapped confirming her desire to go outside too, Louis wiped the remaining cake from his lips with a tea towel before pointing down to their bare feet.

“Go on, get ya shoes and jumpers on then.”

“ YEESSS!“

🚨

“You ready piggy, let’s go! Come on.” Saxon shouts.

“I am coming.” She yells back. “Just wait a minute. Daddy is helping me.”

Harry is attentively assisting Saxon in maneuvering his brand-new bicycle onto the footpath, taking great care to prevent any damage to the paint. The bright sun glistens off the bike’s shiny frame, and Saxon’s excitement is evident. Nearby, Louis is strapping Delilah’s helmet and knee pads, making sure the straps are secure and comfortable. As he fastens the last strap, he notices the radiant smile plastered across Delilah’s face, her eyes sparkling with an inner delight.

“What’s got you so happy, sweetie?” Louis asks, intrigued by her uncontainable joy.

Delilah flashes a teeth-baring grin, her cheeks rosy with excitement. She glances around as if guarding a precious secret, then leans closer to Louis, her small hands cupping his ear. Her voice drops to a whisper.

“Saxon loves me.”

Louis’ heart swells at her innocent proclamation. He can’t help but smile as he gently strokes her hand.

“Aww, did he tell you that? That is so sweet.” he says, his voice warm and affectionate.

Delilah’s smile widens, her eyes twinkling with mischief. She shakes her head no, while still beaming. “No, he didn’t tell me.”

Louis furrows his brow, his curiosity piqued. “Then how do you know?” he asks, genuinely puzzled.

Delilah giggles, her whole body jiggling with excitement. “Because he called me piggy.” she exclaims, her voice filled with an innocent glee.

Louis’ heart melts at her words, overwhelmed by the simple yet profound way children understand and express love. He leans in and plants a tender kiss on her forehead, his chest overflowing with affection.

“You know what, darling? You’re right. I remember, only people who love you are allowed to call you that. That’s a very special way of showing you he cares.”

Saxon hadn’t referred to her as “piggy” since the day they first rode the scooters and had their first disagreement and Delilah told him not to say it anymore.

“Does Saxon love you and Papa too, Daddy?” Delilah asks, her innocent eyes searching Louis’ face.

Louis smiles softly at her, touched by her earnest question. “I hope so.” he replies gently, his voice tinged with both hope and uncertainty.

Delilah reaches out, placing her tiny hand on his cheek. “Well, I love you, Daddy.”

Louis’ heart swells with emotion. He takes her hand in his, giving it a tender squeeze. “I know, baby. Thank you. I love you too, more than you can ever imagine.”

Delilah snickers, covering her mouth with her hands, her happiness infectious. As Louis looks at her, his heart feels full, not just from the love between his children, but from the love that has woven their little family back together, making every moment like this one so precious.

If only he had known Saxon had heard their conversation, and that little Saxon had shook his head yes .

The sun was bright and warm as Harry, Louis, Saxon, and Delilah enjoyed their family walk, soaking up the perfect weather. Saxon was ecstatic with his new bike, constantly riding ahead with an abundance of energy. Harry kept a watchful eye on him, making sure he didn’t get too far away. Delilah, on her scooter, stayed close to Louis as they strolled along the path.

Louis noticed a family up ahead walking towards them. As they drew nearer, something about the man approaching seemed familiar. Louis squinted against the sunlight, trying to place where he had seen him before. When the man came closer, recognition took place. It was Reverend Paul, the clergyman from the church where Louis had once found solace in prayer during his most difficult times.

Reverend Paul’s eyes swept over the family, first landing on Saxon with his bright smile, then on Harry with his attentive gaze, and finally on Louis. He gave a warm, reassuring nod, his expression filled with quiet understanding.

As they passed each other, Louis lingered a bit behind the rest of his family. The reverend seized the moment to lean in closer, his voice a soft murmur meant only for Louis.

“Glad to see it all worked out. Told you to have faith and that you would see your son again.” Reverend Paul said, his smile serene and knowing. “ Bless you all.“

Louis felt a swell of gratitude and faith, a feeling he hadn’t fully embraced in a long time. He nodded, a smile spreading across his face. “Thank you.” he whispered back, his heart full. As he caught up with his family, he couldn’t help but feel a profound sense of peace.

Yes, he thought, glancing up at the clear, blue sky. He owed the big guy in the sky one hell of a favour. The reassurance from Reverend Paul was like a benediction, a reminder that sometimes, faith and perseverance can indeed lead to miracles. And here he was, living proof of that promise.

Louis looked up as Harry called his name, a knowing smile on his face.

“Look at that house.” Harry said, nodding toward a large, inviting two-story home a short distance away. “It looks nice, doesn’t it? It’s on a large block, decent size, bigger than ours. And look, it’s for sale.”

Louis felt a rush of warmth. Harry hadn’t forgotten. When Louis was pregnant with Delilah, he’d mentioned that if Saxon ever returned, he’d be open to finding a bigger house. And now, Harry was already on the lookout. “It does look great.” Louis agreed.

Harry smirked, his excitement palpable.

“I’m gonna go have a peek.”

“Harry!” Louis exclaimed, glancing around to make sure no one was watching and to check on the kids, who had stopped only a few feet away. “You can’t just go up there on their property and look through the windows.”

Harry was already striding up the path, undeterred.

“Yes, I can. It doesn’t look like anyone lives there anyway.”

Louis shook his head in exasperation.

“Oh my god. I’m leaving. You’re embarrassing.” He couldn’t help but laugh, though, at Harry’s determination.

As Harry made his way towards the house, Louis shifted his focus back to Delilah and Saxon, who were engaged in yet another disagreement. He sighed inwardly, recognizing the familiar pattern of their disputes. It seemed that history was repeating itself, with a similar argument unfolding as they had experienced during their previous scooter session.

“He is my dad too!” Saxon declared, his voice filled with frustration.

Louis reached them just in time to hear Saxon repeat softly, “Louis is my dad too.”

Louis had to turn away to hide his smile. This wasn’t like last time at all. Saxon had not called them anything but Harry and Louis, and they were okay with that. But to hear him say that out loud, meant everything.

“Daddy, daddy where is Papa?” Delilah asked, breaking Louis from his reverie.

“Busy embarrassing me and himself.” Louis replied with a chuckle. “Let’s keep walking and pretend we don’t know him.”

Both kids burst into laughter, their previous squabble forgotten. Louis felt a wave of contentment wash over him as he watched them. This moment, filled with laughter and love, was everything he’d ever hoped for. Even if it meant Harry peering through the windows of potential new homes like a determined real estate agent.

🚨

Two weeks later, the long-awaited day finally arrived. Saxon was officially signed over to Louis and Harry, marking the end of a tumultuous chapter and the beginning of a new, hopeful one. To celebrate this monumental occasion, they decided to throw a big party, inviting all their closest friends and family.

The weather was perfect-clear skies and a gentle breeze that carried the sounds of laughter and joy through their garden. The space was decorated festively, with colorful streamers and balloons swaying in the wind. Tables were laden with delicious food and drinks, and a large banner proudly displayed the words, ’ Welcome Home, Saxon.’ that had been made by Louis’ sisters.

Liam, Niall, and Zayn were among the first to arrive, bringing their own brand of cheer and camaraderie that only old friends could provide. They had arrived from LA the day before and as expected Saxon took to them all so easily, especially Niall.

“Nice to finally meet you little man. Now, go ahead and open up your mouth for me.” Niall said, grinning mischievously.

“Niall!” Harry warned, laughing, but poor Saxon, looking a bit scared, obediently opened his mouth.

Niall pretended to scrutinise Saxon’s teeth. “Hmm.” he said, making a show of it. “Yep, I see a cavity or two. Better go and brush your teeth.”

Saxon ran off without questioning it, while everyone else burst into laughter.

“Just because you graduated doesn’t mean you get to-” Harry started, but Louis interrupted with a smirk.

“Oh yes, he does! Free dental work? I’ll take that any day.”

Reign, Garcia, Gabby, Oli and their families all followed shortly after, their presence a comforting reminder of the support that had surrounded Harry and Louis through their darkest days.

The garden was soon filled with the hum of conversations and the laughter of children playing. Saxon, wearing a beaming smile, darted around with Delilah, the two of them giggling as they explored every corner of the party.

At one point, Saxon spotted Oli laughing with Louis. Saxon felt so at ease with everyone and Oli was one of them. Saxon felt like he had always known him, even though he technically had.

With a mischievous glint in his eye, he ran over to him.

“Hey, Oli! You look like you just fell into a large puddle of orange juice. Love the hair.” Saxon teased, tugging at the colourful strands.

Oli laughed, taking it in his stride. “You think so? You sound just like your sister. She always calls me carrothead. “ he said, ruffling Saxon’s hair playfully.

“Yeah, but its cool and funny!” Saxon declared, before scampering off to join Delilah again.

Harry and Louis watched the scene unfold from a distance, their hearts swelling with pride and contentment. As they look around, there isn’t one thing that could happen now that could change the warmth and happiness they currently feel.

As the sun began to dip towards the horizon, casting a golden glow over the garden, it was time for the official thank you speech. Gabby, standing tall and poised, took to the makeshift stage. She cleared her throat, drawing the attention of everyone present.

“Hello, everyone. I’d like to take a moment to thank all of you for being here today, to celebrate this joyous occasion with us.” Gabby began, her voice clear and filled with emotion. “Harry, Louis, the journey you have been on has been nothing short of extraordinary. Through every trial and tribulation, your strength and love have shone brightly.”

There was a collective murmur of agreement from the crowd. Harry squeezed Louis’ hand, feeling the gratitude and love that radiated from every person there.

“Saxon.” Gabby continued, turning her gaze to the boy who stood next to his parents. “you are an incredibly brave and wonderful young man. Today is not just about a legal document; it’s about family, love, and the new beginnings that come with it.”

Saxon beamed, his eyes bright with happiness.

“I also want to thank Detective Reign and Garcia, and everyone who played a role in making this day possible.” Gabby added. “Your unwavering support has been a beacon of hope for this family.”

Reign and Garcia nodded, their expressions reflecting the depth of their involvement and commitment.

As Gabby concluded her speech, the crowd erupted in applause. Louis felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes, overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of love and support that surrounded them.

Everyone then looked towards Louis.

Shit.

He hadn’t prepared a speech.

Shit.

He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, and his heart pounded in his chest. Louis took a deep breath and stepped forward, his eyes scanning the sea of familiar, supportive faces. He had to do this, had to thank everyone who made this moment possible.

“Uh, hi everyone.” he began, his voice a bit shaky. “First, I want to thank Gabby for her beautiful speech and her incredibly kind words.” He turned to Gabby, his eyes reflecting genuine gratitude. “Gabby, your support and understanding during all our visits meant the world to Harry and me. Thank you.”

Gabby smiled warmly, and there was a soft murmur of appreciation from the crowd.

Louis took another deep breath, feeling a bit more confident now. “I also want to thank Detective Reign.” he continued, glancing at the detective. “I’ll admit, I was scared of him at first, I mean look at him.” The crowd laughed, lightening the atmosphere. “But, Detective Reign, your hard work, dedication, and relentless efforts to find our son will never be forgotten. We owe you so much.”

Detective Reign nodded, his stern face softened by a rare, approving smile.

Louis saw Garcia but intentionally ignored her. He then looked at his mother and Anne, their eyes already glistening with tears. “Mum, Anne, thank you both for your never ending love. You’ve been our rocks through this entire ordeal. We would both be lost without you guys.”

Both women couldn’t hold back their tears any longer, and they cried openly, their hearts full.

Louis paused, his gaze shifting to Oli. “And Oli, thank you for standing by me from the very beginning. I can’t express how grateful I am that you dragged me to London that night all those years ago.” The crowd laughed again, and Harry leaned over to kiss Louis on the cheek, prompting a wave of warmth through him.

“I did tell ya, you might meet the love of your life that night and well, it appears that the prediction has come to life, so, you are welcome.” Oli responded with a tone reminiscent of a proud mentor.

“Yeah, yeah.” Louis laughed. “I love you mate, I really do. You really are like a brother to me.”

Oli patted his chest in agreement.

Finally, Louis turned to Harry, his voice softening with emotion.

“And Harry… Thank you for never leaving my side. For all the times you refused to walk away, for all the times you pulled me back from the edge. I wouldn’t have survived without you. And Thank you, H, for finding our boy.”

Harry’s eyes filled with tears, and they spilled over streaming down his cheeks. He stared at Louis, his heart on his sleeve, as Louis waited for him to say something. But instead, in a shocking turn of events, Harry took a step back and knelt to the ground on one knee. He pulled out a small box from his pocket, his hands trembling.

“Marry me.” Harry said, his voice breaking.

The crowd erupted in cheers, and Louis’ heart felt like it was going to burst. Tears streamed down his face as he looked at the man he loved more than anything in the world.

“Yes.” Louis choked out, his voice thick with emotion. “Yes, Harry, a thousand times yes!”

Harry slipped the ring onto Louis’ finger, and they embraced, the cheers and applause of their friends and family washing over them like a tidal wave of joy. In that moment, everything felt perfect. The warmth and happiness surrounding them were almost tangible, a testament to the strength of their love and the unwavering support of those who had stood by them through thick and thin.

As they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, they knew that this was just the beginning of the rest of their lives together. And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

As people gathered around them, offering their congratulations and well-wishes, Louis couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the love and support surrounding them. He exchanged hugs and handshakes, his heart brimming with joy. But amidst the celebration, his eyes landed on Garcia, standing a little apart from the crowd, a warm smile gracing her face.

Excusing himself gently, Louis made his way over to her. As he approached, Garcia extended her hand to him, her eyes twinkling with pride and affection.

“Congratulations, Louis.” she said softly.

Louis took her hand, his grip firm but gentle. “I couldn’t thank you up there, you know.” he began, his voice thick with emotion. “Because, one, I would have cried, and two, there are no words that can ever express how thankful I am for you and everything you have done for me.”

Garcia’s smile widened, and she squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“You helped me understand everything.” Louis continued, his voice trembling. “You always gave me hope, never hid anything from me. You were honest and compassionate when I needed it the most. I don’t think I could ever repay your kindness, Garcia. Without you, I-” His voice broke, and he let go of her hands, wrapping her in a tight hug.

Garcia hugged him back, her own eyes misting over. “It was my pleasure, Louis.” she said, her voice soothing. “Look over there.” She nodded towards the happy scene where Harry was trying to lift a laughing Saxon into the air but was failing miserably. “It was all for this moment. Your boy is home. Home where he belongs.”

Louis pulled back slightly, his eyes locking with hers. “ He is. You never gave up either. You fought for us, for Saxon, just as hard as we did. You weren’t just a detective to me, Garcia. You were a friend. You are my friend.“

Garcia’s heart swelled.

“Thank you, Louis. That means the world to me. And seeing you all happy, seeing Saxon safe and loved, that’s all the thanks I need.”

Louis nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek. “You were our rock, Garcia. When things were dark, you were the light that guided us. I will always be grateful for that.”

They embraced again, a hug filled with mutual respect and deep gratitude. As they parted, Louis felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He knew that Garcia’s unwavering support had been instrumental in bringing them to this moment, and he was eternally thankful for her friendship.

“Enjoy this day, Louis.” She said, giving him a final squeeze on the shoulder. “You and Harry deserve all the happiness in the world.”

Louis smiled, his heart full. “We will, Garcia. We will.” And with that, he rejoined the celebration, his heart lighter, knowing that they had truly been blessed with the best people in their lives.

“Louis! Listen to this!” Saxon shouted.

Saxon’s face was lit up with an enormous smile, the kind that usually made Louis’ heart melt. But standing next to him was Niall, looking far too pleased with himself. Louis could already tell he was about to be subjected to one of Niall’s infamous jokes.

“Louis, what’s the best time to go to the dentist?” Niall asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

Louis sighed internally, knowing exactly where this was heading, but he played along. “I don’t know, Niall. When?”

“Tooth-hurty!” Niall and Saxon burst into laughter, clutching their knees as if it was the funniest thing in the world. Their infectious laughter filled the garden.

Louis just stared at them, a mixture of amusement and exasperation on his face. He couldn’t help but feel a little awestruck by how easily Niall could make Saxon laugh.

“Louis, why aren’t you laughing?” Saxon asked, his giggles subsiding into curious concern.

“I am.” Louis said, as he deadpans. “On the inside.” He then mouthed to Niall, out of Saxon’s view, “It’s not funny.”

Niall pretended to be offended, gasping dramatically. “I can see now why you and Harry fit so well. Neither of you have a sense of humor.”

Louis couldn’t help but chuckle at that, shaking his head. “Just because I don’t laugh at your terrible jokes doesn’t mean I don’t have a sense of humor, Niall.”

Saxon looked between them, confused but happy. “Can you tell another one, Niall?”

Louis groaned playfully.

“Please, no. One joke per visit, that’s the rules.”

Niall smirked, ruffling Saxon’s hair.

“Alright, kiddo, we’ll save the rest for next time.”

Louis watched them, knowing these moments that were filled with laughter and love, were what made everything worth it. Even if it meant enduring Niall’s stupid jokes.

“Hey Liam, can we talk for a moment?” Harry asked.

Liam smiled, taking the last swig of his root beer before placing the bottle down on the table. He hugged Harry tightly, offering his congratulations with a hearty pat on the back.

“You don’t need to say it, mate. I already know.” Liam said.

Harry was speechless. Liam knew him well, but he was sure Liam wasn’t ready for this conversation. But apparently, he was.

“It’s just, I have a family now and I’ve got responsibilities. I don’t want to ever leave them again. I need a stable job, one here, with my two boys and my little girl.”

“Say no more, mate. I’ll start the process of shutting it all down. Don’t stress. Plus, Zayn and I have a trip planned together for Thailand.”

“That’s amazing, Liam. I’m so happy for you both.”

With Liam and Zayn happy and content, Niall now a fully-fledged dentist, and his life with Louis and the children blossoming more each day, Harry didn’t know how much more love his heart could hold.

Later in the evening, as the stars began to twinkle in the sky and the party wound down, Louis and Harry found themselves standing together, watching Saxon and Delilah chase glow worms. The children’s laughter was a sweet symphony, a testament to the joy that now filled their lives.

“Can you believe it?” Louis whispered, leaning his head on Harry’s shoulder. “He’s finally ours again.”

Harry wrapped an arm around Louis, pulling him close. “I know. It feels like a dream.”

Louis sighed contentedly.

“A dream we never have to wake up from.”

🚨

“But I don’t want to go. It’s scary. I don’t know anyone,” Saxon pleaded, his small voice quivering as he clung to Louis’ side. They were gathered in the living room, the sunlight filtering through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the faces of Louis’ sisters who sat around, watching the exchange with sympathetic smiles.

It was the commencement of what Harry referred to as “Sunday family night.” Harry had proposed that every Sunday, their extensive family would congregate for a weekly dinner filled with laughter and games. Louis’ siblings had been present all throughout the afternoon. After Louis informed Saxon that he was scheduled to commence school tomorrow for the final few weeks of the term in order to acclimate to the environment for next year, Saxon exhibited signs of anxiety. Fortunately, all the female members of the family possessed the requisite knowledge to provide assistance and knew exactly how to help.

Louis knelt down to Saxon’s level, gently brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. “I know it’s scary, buddy.” he said softly, his eyes full of understanding. “But starting school is a part of growing up. You’ll make friends, and you’ll learn so many new things.”

Saxon’s eyes filled with tears.

“But what if no one likes me?”

Louis’ sisters, ever the supportive aunts, chimed in one by one, their voices a harmonious chorus of encouragement.

“Hey, Saxon.” said Lottie, her voice soothing. “You’ll be fine. We were all nervous when we started school, but guess what? We made friends and had fun. You’ll do the same.”

“Absolutely.” Louis added, leaning forward with a reassuring smile. “And you’ll have amazing teachers who will help you every step of the way.”

Daisy, with her usual cheerfulness, reached out and took Saxon’s hand. “Plus, think about all the cool stuff you’ll get to learn! It’s like one big adventure.”

Phoebe, always the one to add a touch of practicality, said, “And don’t forget, we’ll all be here when you get home. We want to hear all about your day.”

Despite their words, Saxon still looked unsure, his eyes searching Louis’ face for any sign of further reassurance. Louis felt a pang of guilt; a part of him wished he could just let Saxon stay home, wrapped in the safety of their family.

“I’d rather he stay home too.” Louis admitted quietly, looking up at Harry who stood a little apart, leaning against the doorframe with a gentle smile. “But I know it’s important for him to go.”

Harry nodded, walking over and placing a kiss to the top of his head. “He’ll be alright, Lou. We’ll make sure of it.”

Saxon sniffled, looking between his parents and his aunts. “Promise?”

Louis hugged him tightly. “Promise. And you know what? We’ll even walk you to your classroom on your first day. How does that sound?”

Saxon hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Okay.”

Louis’ sisters exchanged relieved smiles, their collective support a comforting blanket around the family. The air felt lighter, filled with the promise of new beginnings and a unique love that would guide Saxon through this new chapter in his life.

As they spent the rest of the afternoon preparing for the big day-packing his backpack, picking out his clothes, and talking about all the fun things he’d get to do at school-Louis felt a renewed sense of hope. They were in this together, every step of the way, and Saxon would never have to face anything alone ever again.

🚨

Later that night. Louis stood in the kitchen, methodically putting away the clean dishes. He was in his own world, enjoying the rhythmic clinking of bowls and plates being stacked when he heard a familiar sound. Dusty, their ever-hungry cat, was meowing persistently at his feet.

“Saxon, Delilah! “ Louis called out, slightly displeased. “Someone come and feed this cat!”

He continued packing away the bowls, but Dusty was relentless, circling his ankles and meowing even louder. Louis sighed, rolling his eyes as he looked down at the cat’s pleading face.

“Alright, alright.” he muttered, bending down to stroke Dusty’s soft fur. “But don’t you dare breathe a word of this to anyone.”

He walked over to the cupboard where they kept the cat supplies, grabbing a sachet of wet food. As he tore it open and started to pour it into Dusty’s bowl, Saxon appeared beside him, wide-eyed and curious.

“Did you call-oooh.” Saxon’s eyes lit up as he saw what Louis was doing.

“Haarrrryyy!” he yelled, turning on his heel and racing towards the living room. “Guess who is feeding the cat!”

Louis groaned, straightening up and watching Saxon’s retreating figure. “Well, someone had to, didn’t they, mate?” he grumbled, giving Dusty a final pat as the cat eagerly began to eat.

Dusty’s loud purring filled the kitchen as Louis shook his head with a chuckle. Just as he was about to return to the dishes, Harry appeared in the doorway, a bemused expression on his face.

“Did I just hear that correctly?” Harry asked, crossing his arms with a playful smirk. “You fed the cat? I knew it.”

Louis threw him a mock glare. “I didn’t see you or the kids rushing to do it, did I?” he retorted, but his tone was light-hearted.

Harry laughed, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around him. “You’re a softie, you know that?”

Louis leaned into Harry’s embrace.

“Don’t let that get around.” Louis said, his voice low and conspiratorial. “I’ve got a reputation to maintain, you know.”

They stood there for a moment, enjoying the rare quiet and the simple pleasure of being together. The only sound that remained was Dusty’s contented munching, a gentle reminder of the small yet cherished moments that transformed their house into a home.

As Louis pulled away to finish putting away the dishes, Harry stayed close, helping with the task. And though it was just another day, filled with the usual chaos and responsibilities, it felt special because they were sharing it together.

Domestic life, was well….. bliss.

🚨

5 YEARS LATER

As another Sunday evening unfolds, it’s family night in the Styles/Tomlinson household. Louis moves around the kitchen with practised ease, preparing an array of snacks with care. The aroma of freshly baked cookies and popcorn wafts into the lounge room where Harry is deeply engaged in a spirited game of UNO with Delilah. Her laughter rings out, filling the room with warmth, as she revels in her father’s undivided attention. With a mischievous grin, Delilah slaps down a draw 4 card, squealing with delight as Harry feigns irritation.

“You are cheating, you must be! You little cheater.”

Meanwhile, Saxon, now a teen, leans against the doorway, taking a moment to soak in the scene. His eyes move from Louis in the kitchen, to Delilah and Harry in the lounge, with a contented smile. This is his family, a tapestry of love and happiness woven together over all these years. The room is alive with the sounds of laughter, playful banter, and the comforting hum of everyday life, a testament to the bond they share as he gazes at each one of his beloved family members.

Looking at his little sister, a surge of unexpected warmth floods through Saxon’s heart. She’s the sibling he never envisioned having, yet secretly, he harbors a profound adoration for her. Despite her sassiness and demands, she exudes an irresistible blend of cuteness and affection. It’s baffling how quickly he’s become fiercely protective of her. What he’s certain of, though, is his deep love for her. He cherishes every aspect of her, from her dimpled cheeks to her playful ponytails and the tender hugs she often drowns him in. Even though she’s no longer the “little” girl she once was, Saxon can’t shake the feeling of gratitude for her presence in his life. She never fails to bring a smile to his face, reminding him of just how lucky he is to have her as his sister.

As Saxon looks at Harry, he’s filled with an overwhelming sense of respect. From the very beginning, Harry has respected his space, allowing him to find his footing and move at his own pace. With Harry, Saxon feels safe and grounded, as if he can finally breathe freely and savour each new moment. The depth of appreciation he holds for his father is immeasurable, a feeling he knows he’ll never be able to fully express.

Yet, when Saxon’s eyes land on Louis’, a myriad of emotions begin to swirl. Their journey together has been a roller coaster ride, fraught with ups and downs. Despite that turbulence, there’s an undeniable tug on his heartstrings, a sensation so profound that even in his youth, Saxon believes he is beginning to understand his place inside is dad’s heart. In Louis’ presence, all he feels is love, a love so enduring that it withstands the trials they’ve faced and will do so until the end of time. Saxon knows, with unwavering certainty, that through thick and thin, his love for Louis remains unchanged.

He truly and unconditionally loves him.

He runs up to the second level and smiles when he finally spots the Scrabble box he was sent upstairs to retrieve. But as he begins to lift it out of the drawer, his eyes land on something unexpected. It’s a framed photo, and Harry’s face is what grabs his attention. Saxon picks up the photo, bringing it closer for inspection. He almost yells out to Harry to ask about it when he notices that Harry is standing in front of a YouTube building. Instead, his inquisitive nature gets the better of him. Pulling his new phone from his pocket, he quickly types ‘Harry Styles YouTube’ into the search bar.

Of Course and as expected, the first result on the screen is Harry’s haunted series, “Shadow Trails.” Saxon mutters to himself in disbelief “ No way “ a smile spreading across his face. The excitement over discovering his father’s secret projects quickly, overtaking his initial mission to collect Scrabble. Saxon abandons the board game and retreats to his room, eager to dive into the series and learn more about this hidden side of Harry’s life he had no clue about.

Saxon sprawls across the side of his bed, his legs dangling in the air. With a curious smile, he begins to open some of Harry’s videos. Each quirky comment of Harry’s and playful engagement with viewers makes Saxon giggle. He becomes engrossed, flicking through several videos, each one revealing a different facet of Harry’s personality that he hadn’t seen before. Saxon chuckles, thoroughly entertained, and makes a mental note to tease Harry about his hidden YouTube fame when he heads back downstairs.

He closes the last video and is about to lock his screen when something in the sidebar catches his eye. A thumbnail shows Louis sitting beside Harry, both of them looking visibly distressed. Saxon frowns, a knot forming in his stomach. A nagging feeling tells him “ Watch it. You need to see this.“

It feels wrong but right at the same time as Saxon hesitates for a moment. Feeling a mix of apprehension and curiosity, he clicks onto the homepage. The screen floods with multiple videos, most featuring Louis’ face prominently. Captions accompany each video, capturing his attention as he scrolls through them. Titles like “ Have you seen this boy?“ “ Finding Saxon .“ and “ Help us keep looking “ jump out at him, each one hinting at stories he’s never fully heard. The thumbnails, with Louis and Harry’s solemn expressions, beckon him to delve deeper.

Saxon hesitates, his finger hovering over the play button. From downstairs, he hears Louis calling out to him, the sound of his voice pulling at Saxon’s attention.

“Sax darling, are you hungry? The food is ready!”

Quickly, Saxon calls back, ensuring his response carries down the hallway loud and clear.

“Okay. I’ll be down soon. Just finishing up something.”

With that, he turns his attention back to the screen, a sense of urgency pushing him to uncover the truth hidden within those videos before joining his family for dinner.

The moment he sees his name again, and despite the uneasy feeling in his gut and with his curiosity piqued, Saxon taps on the first video. The screen transitions to a devastating scene. Harry and Louis, in an emotional state, begin discussing the hardships and challenges they faced during the darkest period of their lives. The video delves into their raw, unfiltered emotions, revealing a side of his parents that Saxon had never fully understood. Saxon knows that he’s about to uncover more about his family’s past than he ever imagined.

The weight of their words sinks in, and Saxon finds himself unable to look away. The video is a stark contrast to the playful, lighthearted content he had been watching just moments ago. It offers a glimpse into the pain and struggles his parents endured, and he starts to understand the depth of their bond and the sacrifices they made.

Feeling a mix of sadness and newfound respect, Saxon lets out a deep breath. He realizes just how much his parents have gone through and how resilient they have been.

Without Saxon and Louis’ knowledge, in the upcoming few minutes, this young lad is about to fully comprehend the true extent of what Louis endured in order to find him. He will soon witness firsthand not only the magnitude of Louis’ struggles but also the depth of Louis’ love, but also how much he and Harry fought for him, and missed him dearly.

In approximately 15 minutes, Saxon will conclude watching these videos that have pieced together his fragmented past. As the final frame flickers and fades, his heart will be heavy with the weight of newfound revelations. With trembling hands, he will switch off the screen and make his way downstairs, each step slower than the last, burdened by the truth.

Why?

Because he will now appreciate and fully come to terms with all that had happened. Saxon will finally grasp the depth of Louis’ love and sacrifices. The tangled emotions surrounding Louis and Chris will unravel, revealing a singular truth:

He will now accept Louis and only Louis, once and for all.

Upon reaching the bottom step, he will see Louis standing there, an unsuspecting figure who will watch him with worry. Saxon will hesitate for a moment, the enormity of his emotions almost paralyzing him. Then, without warning, he will cross the room and envelop Louis in a desperate, heart-wrenching hug, the likes of which he had never given before.

Louis, taken aback, will stand stiffly for a moment, confusion etched across his face as he feels Saxon’s body racked with sobs. The depth of Saxon’s sorrow will cut through the room like a knife, leaving an eerie silence in its wake.

“What’s wrong baby?” Louis will manage to whisper, his voice barely audible over Saxon’s cries.

In that moment, the floodgates will burst open. Saxon, choking on his words, will try to articulate the storm of emotions that have been unleashed within him. He will clutch Louis tighter, as if letting go would mean losing everything he has just discovered.

“I see it now.” Saxon will finally manage to say, his voice breaking. “I see everything you did for me, all the love, all the sacrifices. I understand it all. I remember. The day at the park when he came and grabbed me. Chris… he’s not my dad. He never was. You are… now and forever. I am so sorry, I love you so much

dad

.“

With tears streaming down his own face, Louis will hug his son back with equal intensity. The realization will wash over him that this moment of raw, unfiltered emotion is the culmination of years of pain, love, and unspoken truths. It will be a bittersweet victory, a moment that is both beautiful and devastating, as they mourn the lost time and the suffering they endured, yet find solace in the bond that has finally been acknowledged.

In the corner of the room, the shadow of Chris’ memories will always linger, a silent reminder of the past that will forever haunt them. But in this embrace, they will find a new beginning, even if it is shrouded in the echoes of heartbreak and the ghosts of what might have been.

But right now, watching Louis’ face when he cried into the camera, the way he broke down with heartache as he pleaded for his child to be returned, it broke Saxon’s own heart.

But it was when he sees Louis, distraught, with dark circles under his eyes, distant and worn out as he sat listening to Harry speak into the camera, that he notices Louis clinging to a small blue and green car, staring at it with such sorrow. His own heart begins to race, tears flowing down his cheeks as recognition kicks in.

’ Broom broom ’ he whispers to himself.

A toy. Just a simple toy among countless others. Yet, the sight of it unleashes a torrent of memories, as if a dam has been suddenly shattered. Saxon suddenly vividly recalls pleading with Christopher, time and time again, for his beloved comfort toy, and asking when he could ’ go home.’ But every single time, Chris would drill it into his young mind that the toy was gone, and that he was already ‘home.’ Over time, Chris’ relentless manipulation succeeded. He managed to convince Saxon that Louis and the cherished toy had never been real at all.

Saxon wipes his eyes, but it’s pointless. Many more tears are about to escalate as he steadies himself. Ready to let Louis back into his life fully, to allow himself to let go of Chris as he begins to comprehend the extent of how serious and wrong this whole situation was.

Saxon is ready to apologise to his parents and rid Chris out of his life for good. He is ready to open his arms and embrace this family, the one he now realises was his destiny all along.

It’s all because he watched it, he had pressed play. He had sat there with wide eyes, lips quivering as he indulged into every single video Louis ever made right from the very beginning, and it all started with video one, the very first Youtube video they ever made about him.

Now, more than ever, he realises the love and bond he shares with his devoted parents. He kisses his index finger and places it onto Louis who is still on the screen. He wipes his eyes and clicks off the video, the video titled Missing: The boy who disappeared.

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

A/N

And that’s a wrap !

I hope that was okay for an ending. I’m sorry if I forgot to wrap up any storylines.

Thank you very much for all the votes and comments. Your feedback is always greatly appreciated. I understand that I often express my gratitude, but it does truly mean a lot to me. If you have enjoyed this story, please feel free to share it with others. Once it has been properly edited and tagged, I will make it available on Ao3.

A couple of people I need to thank personally. To Tracey, who has had to endure all my sooking about this fic over the last year. The amount of times I needed your help was crazy but you didn’t hesitate once, so thank you. Thank you to my two katies who are editing this story for grammar and tags ( preparing it for Ao3) . I cannot thank you both enough. And to all my loyal readers, yes all of you, who keep sticking by my stories no matter how silly they are. There are so many of you who are so encouraging and friendly that it blows my mind every time.

Here are just SOME of the dedicated voters and commenters to whom I express my deepest gratitude. I apologize if your name is not listed here, as I could write a much longer list, but it would take me all day. It is incredible to think that I have completed this story with nearly 10k reads! Thank you very much!

Lelamaypowell Kimmystyles1 Sunshine- lulu Daphnesutton Chalkiemoo Finestyles28 Jaquimoughton Mitchandme Sumilaurel R_oliive Josetamayov 1Dlover Mona1111anoM Harrygirl1975 CarlaTaylor26 Inglelanting Natsgroggin Lunaticcat009 28_RLT Tommo_is_Danger Suselat Karystylinson28122 Peacheswritesharry Kara94 Makaylynn10 Larrylovescarrots2 Crdhope Betelgeza1989 Angel7825 Neelo23 Not_a_sunshine

⬇️⬇️⬇️

MY NEW STORY

(YES ANOTHER MPREG 🤣)

WILL BE POSTED SHORTLY.

IT IS CALLED:

“The switch that combined homes.”

Keep an eye out for the update !