PROLOGUE

Cold breeze of winter wind touched my skin as I stepped out of the truck. I lifted my head to properly view the whole building before me.

I took a deep breath and tightened my grip on the truck door. New place, new ambiance, new house—this is a new start for me. Living on my own without any guidance from my parents. This is the first stage of my independence, and I’m ready to face it now.

Isang malalim na paghinga muli ang aking ginawa bago tuluyang bumitaw sa sasakyan at inabot ang aking mga gamit sa likod ng truck.

While fixing my things, I heard people passing by, mumbling something.

“Hey, look. That guy looks familiar.”

“Yeah, kamukha niya ’yong model na na-issue. ’Yong binugbog ’yong sikat na model na si Gavrill. Siya kaya ’yan?”

“Baka siya nga. Anong ginagawa niya dito?”

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa maleta nang marinig ko ang lahat ng iyon. If they can recognize me this easily, then I guess this will be tough. That issue again—hindi pa ba sila tapos doon?

“Hey, what took you so long ba?” I glanced to my side when Empress showed up, wearing her black cap and face mask, just like mine. We normally wear these because of our job, yet I still don’t get it—how people recognize us so easily.

“HALA! Si Joshane ba ’yon? May relasyon ba sila?”

“Omg, picturan natin dali!”

Napatingin kaming dalawa ni Empress sa kanila. Agad naming kinuha ang mga gamit sa loob ng truck. Another man helped us carry my things when a camera flash suddenly popped. Kaagad namang lumapit ang bodyguard ni Empress at kinuha ang cellphone ng isang babae.

“Hey! That’s my phone—” reklamo ng babae.

“Delete these pictures or I’ll sue you,” malamig na sambit ng bodyguard. Kitang-kita ang takot sa mukha ng dalawang babae kaya agad nilang sinunod ang utos at tumakbo palayo.

I ignored everything and continued walking inside the apartment. Nagtungo kami ni Empress sa third floor hanggang sa tapat ng unit ko. As I opened the door, tumulong ang mga tao ni Empress na ayusin ang mga gamit ko, pati na rin siya.

“Hey, I still don’t get it! Why did you choose this place if your family is rich enough to afford a real estate condominium?” Nakabusangot niyang tanong habang inaayos ang mga gamit ko sa kusina.

I chuckled before answering. “Sila ang mayaman, hindi ako. I’m working on my own to prove myself to them. Gusto kong makita nila na kaya kong tumayo sa sarili kong paa nang hindi umaasa sa pera nila. I’ll make my own name in this industry. I will be known not because I’m a Gonzales—makikilala ako dahil ako si Peter.”

“Yeah, yeah. Ikaw na si Peter the Great,” sambit niya habang winawagayway ang kamay at nagsimulang magligpit ng mga kahon.

I looked around. Maayos na ang buong lugar. “Thank you, Press. Kung hindi dahil sa mga guards mo, baka next week ko pa maayos ’tong unit. Salamat.” Ginulo ko ang buhok niya, dahilan para kunot-noo siyang tumingin sa akin.

“Hoy! Buhok ko!” iritableng sigaw niya. “Okay, I’ll go ahead na. I still have a shoot for a commercial this evening. I’ll leave you na. See you at the studio tomorrow, okay? Bye.”

Pagkaalis niya, isinara ko ang pinto. The darkness of the unit suddenly surrounded me.

Napakatahimik. Walang buhay. Ngunit nang buksan ko ang ilaw, mukha naman itong maayos at malinis. Umupo ako sa couch at isinandal ang ulo.

Sinubukan kong buksan ang TV, ngunit agad akong sinalubong ng balitang iyon.

“Gavrill, anong masasabi mo sa issue niyo ng rising model na si Peter Gonzales? Totoo bang binugbog ka niya nang walang dahilan at masama talaga ang ugali niya?”

Diretsong nakatitig ang mga mata ko sa mukha niya sa screen.

Those fucking pity eyes again. Nahuhuli niya ang awa ng tao dahil sa pag-arte niya. Humigpit ang kamao ko nang magsalita siya.

“Totoo po ang lahat ng kumakalat na balita. Peter beat me without any proper reason, and he’s an asshole for doing that!”

Hindi ko na tinapos. Agad kong pinatay ang TV.

Pagkatapos noon, may natanggap akong text mula kay Mama.

“Royce, we saw Gavrill’s interview. Do you want me to fix it for you? Don’t worry, I’ll make him pay for what he said. –Mom”

Mas lalo akong nainis kaya agad kong dinial ang numero niya.

“Hey, darling Royce. Don’t worry, I was about to call my me—”

“Don’t fucking make a move, Mom,” putol ko. “I can fix this on my own. Please don’t bother yourself. Bye.”

Agad kong binaba ang tawag at mariing ipinikit ang mga mata.

I hate my life. Fuck.

Napagdesisyunan kong magpahangin, kaya lumabas ako ng unit at nagtungo sa rooftop. Half an hour akong nanatili roon, nakikinig lang sa paborito kong music. Nang makaramdam ng panlalamig, nagpasya akong bumalik sa loob.

Habang bumababa ako ng hagdan, may nabangga akong tao. Akala ko iiwas siya dahil maluwag ang daan, pero nagkabanggaan pa rin kami. Nang tumingala siya—

My heart skipped a beat for an unknown reason.

As the wind collided with her shiny black hair, everything seemed to turn into slow motion.

Her pale white skin glowed as the light from the staircase window touched it. Para akong nakakita ng anghel na bumaba mula sa langit—ngunit ang mga mata niyang walang buhay ang higit na nakakuha ng aking atensyon.

Saglit niya lang akong tiningnan bago bumuga ng usok mula sa sigarilyo niya. Napaubo ako sa usok, at habang patuloy akong umuubo, nilampasan niya ako patungo sa taas.

Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko, pero may nagsasabi sa loob ko na sundan siya. Kaya muli akong umakyat sa rooftop at nagtago malapit sa pinto, siniguradong hindi niya mapapansin ang presensya ko.

Tumayo lang siya sa gitna ng rooftop at nanigarilyo nang ilang minuto. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero nalilibang akong pagmasdan ang mukha niya, ang buhok niyang hinahampas ng malakas na hangin.

She was wearing black fitted jeans and an oversized white polo that emphasized her pale skin.

Simple siya, walang buhay—sobrang kakaiba ng dating niya. Walang emosyon ang mukha niya, at iyon ang mas lalong humila sa akin.

Pinanood ko lang siya hanggang sa lumapit siya sa railings ng rooftop. Bigla akong tumuwid nang upo siya sa ibabaw nito.

That’s dangerous.

Tahimik ko lang siyang pinagmamasdan hanggang sa bigla siyang mawalan ng balanse. Lumabas ako sa pinagtataguan at tumakbo palapit sa kanya.

“WAG!” sigaw ko.

Ngunit huminto ako nang magtagpo ang mga mata namin—at naibalik niya ang balanse niya.

Walang bakas ng gulat sa mukha niya. Walang emosyon. Tanging ang mga mata niyang patay ang nakatitig sa akin.

“Miss, delikado diyan,” sabi ko.

Hindi siya sumagot. Bumaba siya ng railings—sa kabilang side.

Agad akong kinabahan. “MISS!”

Nanatili lang ang titig niya sa akin. Nanigas ako nang bitawan ng kanang kamay niya ang railings. Isang kamay na lang ang nakakapit.

Nanigarilyo ulit siya. Walang takot.

Unti-unti niyang binibitawan ang natitirang hawak.

Tumakbo ako at hinila siya pabalik bago pa siya tuluyang mahulog. Nabagsak kaming dalawa sa sahig.

Ang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko.

Nahihirapan akong huminga. Muntik na iyon.

“hmf… haha… hahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang bigla siyang tumawa. Hindi iyon normal—parang tumatawa siya, pero hindi masaya.

“MISS! DELIKADO ANG GINAGAWA MO! GUSTO MO BANG MAMATA—”

Hindi ko natapos ang sasabihin ko nang hawakan niya ang baba ko at bigla akong hinalikan.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

I could feel her tongue slide against mine, intimate and deliberate, leaving me weak and unsteady.

Nanigas lang ako hanggang sa siya na ang umatras. Ngumisi siya at ibinulong,

“I’m dead. Help me.”

After that intense move, she walked away and left me stranded on the rooftop, my thoughts scattered, my mind spiraling far from anything sane.

CHAPTER ONE : WENDY

Disclaimer:

This story is a work of fiction. All names, characters, businesses, events, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or dreams. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or real events is purely coincidental.

This story may contain mature scenes, strong language, and themes such as harassment that may not be suitable for very young readers. Reader discretion is advised. Please read at your own risk.

This story is currently unedited and may contain typographical, grammatical, spelling, or language errors. I kindly ask for your understanding and patience. Rest assured, I will do my best to revise and improve it as soon as possible.

THIS STORY MAY CONTAIN MATURE CONTENT THAT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR VERY YOUNG READERS. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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WENDY’S POV

I woke up sitting in the middle of my messy bed, the dark room swallowing everything around me. It was already 10 a.m., but my place still felt like a vampire’s cave—no trace of sunlight dared to come in.

My window was sealed with a heavy black cloth, carefully chosen to keep the room drenched in darkness even after sunrise. Everything was intentional. This darkness, this emptiness—it mirrored my life: blank, heavy, and worthless.

I dragged myself out of bed and headed straight to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator just to grab another can of beer. On my way back, I lazily kicked a few empty cans aside. I didn’t bother cleaning. I didn’t care if my whole unit looked like trash—because it defined me anyway.

Pagbalik ko sa kama, muli akong himilata, walang gana, and cracked the can open. As I drank, the strong alcohol burned its way down my throat, a familiar heat I’d learned to tolerate.

Masakit—pero sanay na ako.

I’m fucking use to it.

Wala akong pakialam kung natatapon ang beer sa kama habang iniinom ko ito nang nakahiga. Nakapako lang ang tingin ko sa kulay-abong kisame, walang iniisip, walang nararamdaman.

Hindi ko na rin alam kung buhay pa ba talaga ako sa puntong ito—dahil sa totoo lang, wala akong maramdaman kahit ano.

My life was nothing.

Nanatili ako sa gano’ng posisyon hanggang sa umalingawngaw ang alarm ng orasan. 3 p.m. na pala. See? Anim na oras ang lumipas, pero wala pa ring nagbago—wala pa ring laman ang pakiramdam ko.

Napag-isipan kong tumayo at umupo sa gilid ng kama. Tinabig ko ang mga gusot na papel sa side table, hinayaang mahulog ang mga iyon sa sahig. Nang luminis ang espasyong kailangan ko, inilabas ko ang aking gitara at drum pad machine.

Kinuha ko rin ang ilang sigarilyo mula sa drawer—doon ko tinatago ang lahat ng kahon. Marami pa akong stock.

Matapos ko itong sindihan, nagsimula akong tumugtog. Kung ano-anong tunog at beat lang ang pinapatugtog ko, pero nauuwi pa rin sa wala. Paulit-ulit akong sumubok mag-compose, ngunit kahit isang matinong melody, wala akong mabuo. Sa huli, ibinaba ko ang gitara at nanigarilyo na lang.

Isang oras akong nakaupo roon—nagyoyosi, nag-iisip ng wala. Pinipilit kong makinig sa mga beat sa loob ng utak ko, pero katahimikan lang ang sumasagot.

Maya-maya, tumunog ang laptop ko. Inabot ko ito at binuksan. Dalawampung email mula sa boss ko—iisa lang ang laman ng lahat.

Need your piece on Saturday. For the new band. Are you working on it already?

	—Boss

Walang gana ko iyong isinara at muling nagsindi ng sigarilyo. Sumulyap ako sa kalendaryo—Monday pa lang. Limang araw na lang, at kailangan kong makagawa ng isang kanta. Hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin akong nasisimulan.

Ito ang trabaho ko. Gumagawa ako ng musika para sa isang music company na nagpo-produce ng mga sikat na singer at grupo. Hindi ko kailangang lumabas ng bahay para kumita—uupo lang ako rito, just create a one damn song, and boom, may six figures na ako kada buwan.

Habang naninigarilyo, inabot ko ang kurtina at bahagyang hinawi. Sumilip ang magandang paglubog ng araw sa ilalim ng makapal na itim na tela. Tinitigan ko iyon sandali—saka ko rin agad isinara.

Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo, pero napahawak ako sa mesa nang biglang umikot ang paningin ko.

“Fuck,” mahina kong mura, pilit na inaayos ang sarili.

Nang luminaw-linaw na ang paningin ko, naglakad ako papuntang kusina para kumuha ng panibagong bote ng beer. Umupo ako sa breakfast table at uminom nang uminom, dahil alam kong anumang oras ngayon… darating na si—

Knock knock

I maintained a blank smirk and stood straight as I reached for the door. Before I could even swing it fully open, he forced his way inside.

He moved with a sudden, violent urgency, hooking his arm around my waist to jerk me against him before crashing his lips onto mine in a torrid, punishing kiss. His grip tightened until it bruised, but he didn’t seem to care. He carelessly dropped his briefcase to the floor, his hands already scrambling for the hem of my shirt.

One hand slid roughly underneath the fabric, his palm harsh against my breast. “Nng…” I let out a soft, stifled sound, yet I remained passive, surrendering to his momentum.

He gripped my chin, pinching it firmly to tilt my head back and deepen the kiss. He began to bite and suck at my lower lip with such force that the skin broke; the metallic tang of my own blood soon filled my mouth.

“Agh!” A groan escaped me as he fist his hand into my hair, pulling it downward so sharply that I was forced to arch my back. He used the opening to target my neck, biting into the sensitive skin. It wasn’t a lover’s mark; it was a punishment, searing and sharp. I bit my own lip to keep from crying out, leaning into him only to ease the tension on my scalp.

Without a word, he forced me toward the breakfast table where I had been sitting moments ago.

He shoved me onto the surface with a jarring thud. In one ruthless motion, he tore my clothes open and lunged for my chest. He began to suck and bite at me with a calculated roughness meant to inflict pain. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction; I simply looked away, staring into the distance and letting him do exactly what he wanted.

“Fucking shit,” he groaned, hauling me off the table only to shove me back against the edge of it, forcing me to lean over so he could loom behind me.

He clamped a hand around my nape, his grip so tight it felt like a chokehold. I knew there would be bruises—deep, ugly marks—but I was already used to them.

I felt him stripping off his clothes, but instead of a touch, I felt the silk of his necktie being looped around my throat. He jerked it taut, stealing what little air I had left.

He ripped my shorts and underwear down in one motion. Without a second of hesitation or a hint of warmth, he forced himself inside me. The impact was sudden and violent, synchronized with a sharp tug on the makeshift leash around my neck that cut off my breath entirely.

“Ackk… w-wait…” I managed to wheeze, but he didn’t listen. He began to thrust with a relentless, brutal rhythm.

“Does this make you feel good, Patrice?! Is this what you want?!” He spat the words out, his voice laced with a bitter, jagged anger that made it clear this wasn’t about pleasure—it was about wreckage.

I could barely move, let alone respond. Between the lack of oxygen and the merciless way he hit against me, I felt as though I were slipping away, the edges of my vision blurring. Finally, after several more heavy, punishing thrusts, I felt his body tense as he reached his climax.

He finally loosened the necktie, allowing the air to rush back into my lungs in a painful gasp. But the reprieve was short-lived.

Before I could even steady my feet, he snatched me by the arm, spinning me around to face him—and then, without warning, he struck me with the full, heavy force of his hand.

The force of the slap sent me crashing to the floor, my cheek instantly blooming with a dull, throbbing numbness. “AHHH!” I screamed as he brought his foot down, pinning my right hand to the floor. He glared down at me, his eyes burning with a terrifying, scorched-earth fury.

“C-Cole, fucking stop!” I choked out.

He reached down, gripping my chin to force my face toward his, a demonic smirk twisting his features. “Oh, so you can actually feel something now? Does it hurt, Patrice? Does it?!” He ground his heel harder into my hand, and I bit my lip until I tasted more blood, refusing to give him another scream.

“You fucking deserve this, Patrice!” He finally released my hand, only to seize a handful of my hair and haul me to my feet.

He forced me to look at him, his face inches from mine. “Does it hurt? It’s not enough. Not even close!” He drove a fist into my stomach, the air rushing out of me in a pained wheeze. He didn’t wait for me to recover; he dragged me toward the bedroom, where he began to violate my body all over again.

The entire time, I was a ghost. I simply lay there, staring at the cracks in the ceiling, watching the shadows dance as he took what he wanted. I felt nothing but a profound, hollow numbness—a void that had swallowed my heart, my emotions, and my very soul. I was the living dead, a shell of a person watching her own destruction from afar.

“YOU FUCKING DESERVE TO SUFFER, PATRICE! YOU FUCKING DESERVE EVERY BIT OF IT!” Cole roared, his voice cracking with a manic intensity as he continued his assault.

A ghost of a smirk touched my lips, blank and devoid of life. “Yes,” I whispered into the empty air, the words meant only for myself. “I deserve this.”

I fucking do.

CHAPTER TWO : COLE

“I’ll go ahead.” His cold, hollow voice echoed through the unit, followed by the heavy thud of the door closing. Only then did my lungs finally remember how to breathe.

This was my cycle. This was the rhythm of my life. I remained sprawled on the bed, naked and trembling, reaching for a pack of cigarettes to smoke away the suffocating numbness of my own emotions.

I stayed there until half the box was gone, the room thick with gray haze.

When I finally glanced at my phone, the screen glowed: 2:00 AM . Though my mind was detached, my body was keeping score. I could feel the map of bruises forming—swollen marks blooming across my thighs and arms, and the persistent, metallic taste of blood from where Cole had bitten my lip.

With the mechanical movements of a habit I knew too well, I dragged myself to the bathroom. I began to wash, cleaning the wounds and treating the marks. They were small enough to heal quickly, at least on the surface.

Once finished, I sat by the window of my unit, watching in silence as the first light of dawn began to bleed over the horizon.

The moment the sun fully crested, I pulled the blackout curtains shut, plunging the room back into darkness.

I crawled into bed, pressed my earbuds in, and let the music drown out the world.

It was time to disappear into sleep.

I woke in the middle of the afternoon, the light filtered and dim. I headed to the kitchen to find something to eat, only to realize my stocks were depleted. I choked down a dry piece of bread and pulled on some decent clothes—a black oversized shirt, black jeans, and a heavy gray jacket to hide the evidence on my skin.

I slipped on my slippers and stepped out of the unit, intending to restock. But the moment I cleared the building, my phone buzzed in my pocket. A text from Cole.

The message was brief and cold:

“Don’t go out” — Cole.

I shut the screen with a lazy flick of my thumb, ignoring the command as I continued walking toward the nearest convenience store.

Inside, I mindlessly gathered my supplies—junk food, beer, bread, and stacks of instant noodles.

When I reached the counter, the cashier greeted me with a playful, predatory smirk. “Good day, ma’am,” he said, his voice dripping with a perverted undertone as his eyes blatantly traveled down to my chest.

I was used to this look. To me, it wasn’t an insult; it was an opportunity. I met his gaze and let a slow, knowing smirk spread across my face.

I knew exactly how this game was played. Within minutes, the transaction shifted from the counter to the shadows of the stockroom.

I found myself pressed against the crates with the young cashier, the air thick with the scent of cardboard and cheap floor cleaner.

“Prove your words, young man,” I whispered into his ear, tilting my head to let him savor my skin.

“Yes, ma’am… I’ll take care of your bills,” he panted. That was the trade: a few minutes of my body in exchange for a free bag of groceries.

That was the rhythm of my world—transactional and hollow.

Once he was satisfied, he straightened his uniform and returned to the register. “Thank you for your wonderful service,” I said playfully, grabbing my bags before stepping back out into the humid afternoon air.

As I walked, I roughly wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. God, that boy stank.

Distracted by the lingering bad taste, I made my way back to the condominium and headed for the third floor.

I was busy digging through my pockets, fumbling for my keys, when I walked straight into someone.

“Oops, sorry,” the girl said softly, her voice polite and apologetic. I glanced at her briefly; she looked young, maybe twenty or twenty-one. I simply nodded to let her know it was fine and brushed past her.

I noticed the door directly across from my unit was propped open—looks like I had a new neighbor.

I didn’t bother with curiosity. I just unlocked my own door and stepped inside.

The moment I crossed the threshold, my bags hit the floor with a heavy thud.

Before I could even register the movement, a violent slap sent my head spinning. I looked up, stinging and dazed, to find Cole standing there.

My mind raced as I glanced at the wall clock. 5:00 PM. Fucking shit. He was never here this early; he usually didn’t show up until seven or eight. Why was he here now?

“C-Cole…” I stammered, trying to steady myself and stand straight. But before I could find my footing, he drove a hard punch into my stomach. The air vanished from my lungs, and I collapsed to my knees, gasping for breath.

The world blurred as he fisted his hand into my hair, yanking my head back to force me to look at him.

“HINDI BA SABI KO SA’YO WAG KANG LALABAS?!” he roared, his voice trembling with a terrifying, jagged rage.

I couldn’t find the words to answer; the guilt of my defiance weighed as heavy as the pain. He didn’t wait for an explanation.

He seized my wrist and threw me onto the sofa like a ragdoll. Before I could even scramble away, he was pinning me down, his weight crushing the life out of me as he began to take me by force once again.

The routine of it all had become a twisted kind of normal. I had reached a breaking point where my mind simply detached, leaving me feeling absolutely nothing as he used my body.

We were mid-act, but there was no heat, no spark—just a cold, clinical endurance on my part. I waited for the moment he would reach his peak, expecting the usual release, but I was wrong.

He didn’t stop. Instead, he pushed harder, a sick look of satisfaction crossing his face as he watched me struggle against the agonizing tension of him fisting my hair.

It felt like he was going to rip my scalp clean off. I clamped my eyes shut, refusing to let a single tear fall.

I knew his game: my tears were his greatest reward. He wanted me to suffer so profoundly that I suspected only my death would ever satisfy him enough to return to the man he used to be.

“Ang tigas ng ulo mo, Patrice!” he growled, his thrusts turning jagged and brutal.

Because I felt nothing for him, I wasn’t ready for him, making every movement a friction-filled agony. I bit down on my lower lip, bracing myself against the raw pain until he finally stood up and withdrew.

“Hindi ba ang usapan natin, hindi ka lalabas ng building na ito? Bakit lumabas ka? At ano ito?!” He didn’t give me a chance to breathe before he reached out, his fingers pinching the skin of my neck with a bruising force.

“ANO ITO!!!” He seized me by the shoulders and shoved me violently toward the mirror, forcing me to stare at my own reflection.

There it was. A dark, fresh hickey left by the boy from the convenience store.

“I don’t remember putting this here, Patrice!!!” he roared, his face contorting with a lethal jealousy as he slammed me back against the wall.

He slammed my face harder against the wall, his weight crushing me as he lunged for the mark on my neck, biting down on the hickey with a feral, teeth-grinding intensity.

“FUCK YOU, PATRICE! KAYA SIYA NAWALA DAHIL GANITO KA!!! FUCKING SLUT AND HEARTLESS BITCH!!!” Every word was a jagged blade, and as they cut into me, I felt a familiar, sickening wave of self-loathing.

He wasn’t just screaming at me; he was echoing the voice in my own head.

Fuck it.

Panic replaced the numbness when he suddenly seized me, dragging me toward the bedroom.

He threw open the door to an old wardrobe—a cramped, dark space I hadn’t touched in years.

A cold, paralyzing fear flooded my veins. My hands began to shake uncontrollably. I looked at him, my voice cracking.

“No, Cole, please!” I pleaded, my composure finally shattering as he began to force me toward the dark opening.

“No, Cole! No! NO!!!” I thrashed and fought against him, clawing at his arms, but he was far stronger.

With one final, ruthless shove, he jammed me into the narrow space and slammed the door shut, clicking the lock from the outside.

“COLE!!!!” I screamed, my voice muffled by the wood. Darkness pressed in on me from all sides.

My chest tightened, my lungs burning as I struggled to find air. A violent, convulsive trembling took over my entire body as the walls seemed to close in.

The crushing weight of the trauma hit me instantly, a suffocating darkness that began to eat me alive.

Being locked away like this—small, confined, helpless—was the one thing I couldn’t endure. It was the trigger for every nightmare I had ever tried to bury.

“C-Cole! Please, let me out!” I begged, my voice cracking, but silence was my only answer.

The walls began to tilt and spin. I fumbled in the dark, my fists thumping rhythmically against the heavy wood of the wardrobe door.

“C-Cole…” I whispered, my strength failing as my breath came in shallow, jagged hitches.

“COLE!”

The pride I had held onto so tightly finally shattered. The tears I had sworn to keep from him flooded out as I crumbled. “COLE, PLEASE! I BEG YOU!”

The door suddenly swung open, and I tumbled out onto the floor, a trembling, broken heap.

I looked up through a blur of tears and saw it—the glint of pure, sick satisfaction in his eyes. He had won.

He had finally seen me break. If it weren’t for the ghost of my past haunting this small space, I would never have given him the satisfaction of seeing me crawl.

“Treat this as a lesson, Patrice,” he said, his voice terrifyingly calm as he adjusted his clothes.

“Try to leave this building again, and I’ll make sure you suffer far worse than this.” He didn’t look back; he simply walked out, the click of the front door signaling my temporary freedom.

I didn’t have the strength to stand. I crawled toward the bed, dragging my limp body across the floor until I could pull the comforter over me like a shroud.

I reached for an open can of beer on the side table, downing the lukewarm liquid in one go, desperate for anything to numb the roar of my own thoughts.

I leaned my head back against the edge of the bed, staring at nothing. A faint, bitter smile ghosted across my lips as I whispered into the silence of the room.

“Useless as ever.”

CHAPTER THREE : HELP ME, I’M DEAD

I woke up from a short nap in the middle of the night, feeling that familiar heavy restlessness. I decided to shower and change, hoping the cold water might wake my senses.

I pulled on my black jeans and an oversized white polo, then headed toward the rooftop for some air.

I was so focused on lighting my cigarette that I didn’t notice the figure approaching from the opposite direction.

We collided. I barely flinched. I just glanced at him, took a slow drag, and blew the smoke directly into the space between us before walking past. A new face. I didn’t care to know the name.

The rooftop was silent. I stood there staring at the sky; the moon was brilliant, yet it felt cold and dead, a perfect mirror of how I felt inside.

Since that day, numbness has been my only constant. I know I’m the one to blame. I’ve accepted that burden, but the weight of it makes me feel like a ghost in my own skin.

I sensed him watching me from the shadows. To test him—or perhaps to test fate—I walked to the edge and sat precariously on the railing, my legs dangling over the drop. The city lights below were vibrant and alive. I wished I could feel even a spark of that energy.

Then, I leaned back, intentionally letting my balance slip just enough to look like a fall.

“WAG!!” the guy shouted, his voice shattering the quiet night.

Tinignan ko siya nang walang buhay.

“Miss, delikado dyan,” he tried to make me come down.

Kaya sinunod ko siya. Bumaba ako mula sa railing pero sa kabilang side—sa mismong edge ng rooftop kung saan any time I let go of the railing, I will fall from this high building.

“MISS!!!” I saw a high amount of nervousness on his face as I did that.

Nakaramdam ako ng kakaibang saya sa klase ng tingin na ibinibigay niya sa akin, kaya bumitaw ang kanan kong kamay sa railing. Gusto ko pang makita ang iba pang emosyon na ipapakita niya sa akin.

He stiffened. I smoked again, using my right hand. Unti-unti ko na ring binibitawan ang pagkakahawak ko sa railings; if I fall, I’ll gladly accept my death. At least someone would witness my goodbye.

Pero bago ko pa mabitawan iyon, this boy ran toward me and quickly pulled and carried me away from the ledge. Pabagsak kaming dalawa na napaupo rito sa rooftop.

I was startled at first, but when I gazed at him and saw how truly terrified he was, I couldn’t help the small chuckle that bubbled up, eventually turning into a loud, hollow laugh.

He glanced at me with those expressive eyes. “MISS, DELIKADO ANG GINAGAWA MO! GUSTO MO BANG MAMATA—”

I crawled quickly toward him, reached for his chin, and kissed him.

His eyes were filled with the life I lacked; I wanted that life. I craved it. Holding his chin, I easily deepened the kiss, my tongue exploring the sweetness of his mouth.

He remained stiff the entire time, paralyzed by the suddenness of it. When I finally pulled away, I rested my forehead against his.

I looked deep into his eyes and whispered, “I’m dead. Help me.”

There was a part of me that desperately wanted to be healed by him, but as reality flooded back, I abruptly stood up and left him there, stunned and hanging.

Bumalik ako sa unit ko at uminom ng alak mula sa refrigerator. I felt a strange urge to touch my lips. Habang ginagawa ko iyon, his voice echoed in my ears. I remembered his gaze—so expressive, so filled with emotions. It caught my interest, but it also haunted me.

Those eyes reminded me of someone I used to know. Someone who turned my life into this mess. They had the same aura, the same gaze. I fucking hate it.

“I don’t want to see it anymore,” I whispered before heading to my room.

I just wanted to sleep for a long time. I closed my eyes and threw the empty beer can to the side.

Suddenly, I was walking along a bright seaside, feeling the fresh wind against my skin. The sun seemed to smile at me, and the mountains shimmered under the sunlight like stars.

This was the feeling I had been missing for so long—the feeling of being alive and free.

I was just walking when a voice called out to me.

“Patrice.”

That voice.

When I turned around, I was met by his wide, beaming smile. He ran toward me and pulled me into a tight embrace the moment he reached me. I couldn’t believe I was seeing him again after all these years.

“Patrice, I’m so happy I brought you here,” he said vibrantly, cherishing the hug.

A sharp pain shot through my chest at the sound of his voice. Slowly, I reached up and ran my hand through his soft hair.

He looked at me with those expressive eyes and said, “I love you, Patrice. Mahal na mahal kita. We are bound to each other, no matter what.”

As the words left his lips, the world shifted. The bright scenery dissolved into a dark, suffocating void. His aura turned cold and his eyes bled into pure black. His grip on my hands tightened, turning into a vice. I struggled, pulling back in a panic.

“We are bound to each other, Patrice,” he repeated, his voice distorting into something unrecognizable.

He began to step toward me. I stumbled backward, my heart racing as the darkness morphed into a room—his room.

It was cluttered and filthy, the one place I never wanted to see again. I squeezed my eyes shut.

“We are bound to each other, Patrice!”

It wasn’t him anymore. This wasn’t the man I remembered.

“WE ARE BOUND TO EACH OTHER, PATRICE!!!”

I covered my ears to drown him out, but his voice only grew louder, vibrating through my skull.

“No, please stop this,” I whispered.

I gasped as he suddenly grabbed my wrist, forcing me to look at him. “Cole.” The transformation was complete; it was Cole.

“YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, PATRICE!!! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!!!”

His scream was deafening, and I squeezed my eyes shut once more, feeling as though my eardrums were about to shatter.

“No… no… no… NOOOOO!”

I bolted upright in bed, gasping for air as I scanned the room. A dream? No, it was a nightmare. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes again, trying to steady my racing heart.

“Why do you have to show up in my dreams again?” I whispered to the empty room.

Why did I have to remember? Why now?

“Why?”

CHAPTER FOUR : I HATE MY NAME

“Achuu!” I sneezed, my nose suddenly itching.

I wiped it with the back of my palm and returned to my screen, resuming the beats for a new song.

I don’t know why, but after that nightmare last night, a melody took root in my mind and refused to leave. I don’t usually get sudden bursts of inspiration, but after seeing those expressive eyes on the rooftop and waking from that dream, this song started forcing its way out.

Kahit madaling araw pa lang kanina, nagsimula na akong magsulat at tumugtog.

Ting!

I stood up and headed to the kitchen when the timer for my mac and cheese went off. It was already 2 PM, and this was the first time I was eating all day.

I paired the meal with a cold can of beer and sat back down in front of my PC.

I wrapped my comforter tightly around my shoulders, eating while listening to the unfinished track on loop.

I still didn’t have a title, but I needed to get the foundation down while the ideas were still fresh. The title could wait; the feeling couldn’t.

“Shit, ang lamig,” I muttered, glancing at my air-con. It was already completely off, yet a deep chill settled into my bones.

I’d been feeling cold for hours, and my persistent coughing was a clear sign that a fever was setting in. But it seemed to be getting worse now—my head was starting to throb with every beat of the music.

I lit a cigarette and smoked while eating. I felt like a fucking mess.

Ramdam ko ang sakit ng katawan ko kaya bago pa man mag-6 PM, ni-lock ko na ang pinto ng kwarto ko.

I wanted to make sure na kapag dumating si Cole, wala siyang pagkakataon na hawakan ako. May sakit ako, at sana naman—kahit ngayon lang—pagbigyan niya ako.

I don’t feel anything right now. Naka-auto-pilot na naman ang pakiramdam ko.

Nakatapos ako ng kanta after a few hours pero wala pa rin itong title. It was already 7:30 PM. Nakahiga lang ako sa kama habang naninigarilyo at pinakikinggan ang melody na paulit-ulit na tumutugtog sa isip ko.

I can’t believe I finished a piece of music in just one day, and the worst part? It’s full of emotions.

“Achuu! Fuck.” I keep sneezing at nagsisimula nang sumakit ang ilong ko.

Nagtalukbong ako ng comforter at itinapon ang upos ng sigarilyo sa labas ng bintana. I tried to sleep by closing my eyes, pero sa bawat pikit ko, iyong mga mata na ’yon ang lumalabas sa isip ko.

That boy is strange. He looked hopeless, but his gaze was so expressive. It’s been bugging me since last night.

“Achuu!”

Hindi ako makatulog. Parang may kung anong gumugulo sa buong sistema at isipan ko pero hindi ko mapunto kung ano ’yon.

I just stared at the ceiling and remained silent. Hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko.

Agad akong napalingon sa pinto nang marinig ko ang presensya ni Cole mula sa labas. I quickly hid under the covers, pakiramdam ang bawat galaw niya mula rito sa loob ng kwarto ko.

“PATRICE!” He’s calling my name again.

Fuck it, I hate my name!

“PATRICE!” Narinig ko siyang pilit na binubuksan ang pinto, but he couldn’t get in because I locked it.

“PATRICE! BUKSAN MO NGA ITO!” Ang malalakas niyang kalabog ang pumalibot sa buong unit ko. He was slamming his weight against it, demanding that I let him in.

I covered my ears with my hands, trying to drown him out, pero masyadong malakas ang boses niya at ang tunog ng pinto na tila gigiba na.

“FUCKING SHIT, PATRICE! BUKSAN MO ITO! WAG MONG INUUBOS ANG PASENSYA KO!”

Mas diniinan ko pa ang pagtakip sa tenga ko.

“WAG MONG HINTAYIN NA SIRAIN KO ITO, PATRICE! LUMABAS KA DYAN!” I thought he wouldn’t stand a chance because I had the spare keys here inside with me.

I continued to pretend I couldn’t hear him, which only made the banging louder. I was frozen, just sitting on my bed, when the wood suddenly splintered.

The door flew open, and the harsh light from the living room flooded into my dark room. Sinira niya ang pinto.

Napatitig ako sa kanya, unable to believe it, as I faced his burning eyes.

“SINABIHAN NA KITA, PATRICE!” madiin niyang sambit habang tinutupi ang manggas ng polo niya. He started walking toward me.

“Cole, m-may s-sakit ako…” I stuttered. I was still in a state of shock.

“Wala akong pakialam!” he spat. He grabbed my arm and dragged me off the bed.

“Aray!” I winced. Madiin ang pagkakahawak niya sa braso ko, at pakiramdam ko ay matutumba ako dahil nanlalambot ako sa lagnat.

“Cole, pagpahingahin mo muna ako… may sakit ako,” I tried to stop him from dragging me, but he didn’t listen. He threw me easily onto the couch.

“ANONG KARAPATAN MONG MAGPAHINGA? SINO KA BA, PATRICE? WALA KANG KARAPATAN, TANDAAN MO YAN!” He lunged and grabbed my neck, starting to choke me.

“C-Cole—” I couldn’t even finish my words. He took his necktie and forced it into my mouth, tying it tight to silence me.

After that, he started to undress me. The cold air hit my skin, making the chills from my fever run through my whole body. I felt so sick, and I couldn’t do anything but watch.

Hawak niya ang dalawang kamay ko gamit ang kaliwa niyang kamay habang pilit akong hinuhubadan ng isa pa.

I tried to move, but he just slapped me across the face. The world spun, making me feel so dizzy and weak na hindi na ako nanlaban pa.

He quickly slid his finger inside me as he ripped off my underwear. The pain was transparent; it felt like I was being torn apart down there.

I wasn’t wet at all, and my body was too tense to loosen up.

Madiin kong kinagat ang aking labi para indahin ang bawat galaw niya. “HMMM!!!” I groaned and tried to shout underneath the necktie, but Cole was determined to hurt me.

He resumed what he was doing down there, then suddenly let go of my hands to grab my neck instead. He started choking me again. Nahihirapan na akong huminga, pero hindi pa rin siya tumitigil.

“You. Deserve. This. Patrice. Tandaan mo yan!” he growled.

And with those words, I just closed my eyes and accepted all his anger. I endured the pain and just let him do this to me.

He continued to hurt and violate me until he grew tired of my body. Iniwan niya akong nanghihina sa couch at mabilis na nilisan ang unit ko.

I felt so much stain on my whole body. I fucking hate this. I was left alone, naked, covered in wounds and bruises—fucking worthless.

Sinubukan kong umupo, but I just collapsed back down. Sobrang sakit at nanghihina ang buong katawan ko; hindi ko na magawang gumalaw pa. Kaya hinayaan ko na lang ang sarili kong nakahiga habang nakatitig sa kisame.

I felt numb. Ang pagkirot na lang ng mga sugat ko ang tanging nararamdaman ko. Napahawak ako sa right side ng noo ko at sa bandang ibaba ng labi ko dahil sa matinding hapdi.

I touched them both, and when I looked at my hands, they were stained with blood from the gashes on my face.

Naramdaman ko ang pagtulo ng dugo malapit sa mata ko, kaya napapikit ako at nanahimik…

“………..haha…hahahhahahahahaha.”

I laughed and laughed as the tears finally started to flow down my face.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… AHHH!!!!”

Fucking pain! I hate you!

CHAPTER FIVE : KID

Nagising akong bugbog ang buong katawan, pero pinilit ko pa ring bumangon at dumeretso sa closet para kumuha ng maisusuot.

Umaga na. Pagpasok ko sa banyo, natigilan ako sa harap ng salamin. I grinned at my own reflection—isang nakakatakot na ngisi.

Puno ako ng pasa. May mga sugat na may tuyong dugo, at may mga itim na marka sa paligid ng leeg ko. I looked like a total mess. Trash.

Nawala ang smirk sa labi ko at biglang nawalan ng gana. Pumasok ako sa shower at naupo lang sa sahig, hinahayaang dumaloy ang tubig sa katawan ko.

Pinanood ko lang ang pag-agos ng kulay-rosas na tubig—ang dugo mula sa noo ko na unti-unting nahuhugasan.

I just sat there with my eyes closed. Inabot ako ng isang oras sa banyo bago lumabas at nagtungo sa living room. Nagsuot ako ng itim na shirt at pants, sabay patong ng malaking black jacket.

Sobrang gulo ng unit ko. Kahit ang pintuan ng kwarto ko, wasak at nakakalat lang sa sahig. Naupo ako sa breakfast table kung saan kitang-kita ang buong lawak ng pinsala sa paligid habang umiinom ng beer.

I just stared at my unit the whole time, trying to rest for a bit. Humilig ako sa mesa at ipinikit ang mga mata ko. Nagtagal ako sa ganoong posisyon hanggang sa naisipan kong gamutin na ang mga sugat ko.

Pero pagtingin ko sa first aid kit, wala na pala itong laman.

Bumalik ako sa kwarto at kinuha ang wallet ko. Kailangan kong lumabas para bumili ng gamot at supplies para sa mga sugat ko. Nagsuot ako ng cap sa ilalim ng hood ng hoodie ko bago tuluyang lumabas.

Paglabas ng unit, hindi ko napigilang mapatitig sa nakasaradong pinto sa tapat ko. I remembered that I had a new neighbor.

Pero hindi ko na pinatagal ang isip ko doon; dumeretso na ako palabas ng building tungo sa pinakamalapit na botika.

Maingat ako sa loob ng botika, nakatago ang mukha habang kumukuha ng mga kit para sa wounds at bruises, pati na rin gamot sa lagnat dahil ramdam ko pa rin ang init ng katawan ko.

“640 po lahat, ma’am,” sabi ng cashier. Iniabot ko ang 1k at dumeretso na agad palabas bitbit ang mga binili ko. Narinig ko pa siyang tinatawag ako—siguro para sa sukli—pero hindi ko na siya nilingon.

Naglalakad ako pabalik nang nakayuko hanggang sa malapit na ako sa building. Tahimik lang ang paligid, pero lalo akong nagtago sa ilalim ng hood ko nang mapansing may makakasalubong ako. I didn’t want anyone seeing my face.

“Ahm—” I heard someone try to speak to me, pero nilampasan ko lang siya.

Kaso bago pa ako makalayo, naramdaman ko ang biglang paghila niya sa braso ko. Napaharap ako sa kanya nang hindi oras. I raised my head, and our eyes met.

“Fuck!” he cursed nang makita ang mukha ko.

He scanned the damage on my face. Agad akong umiwas at pilit na binabawi ang braso ko, pero hindi niya ako binitiwan. He just kept staring at me, frozen.

“What?!” I hissed, my brows furrowing in irritation.

Ang gulat sa ekspresyon niya kanina ay biglang nagbago. And those eyes again! I hated that look.

“Hey, let go, kid,” I said, struggling to break from his grip, but it was no use.

Hindi siya nakinig. Sa halip, inabot niya ang hood ko at tinanggal ito. His eyes immediately landed on my neck. I saw how his jaw clenched, and his grip on my arm tightened even more

“HEY, I SAID LET G—” Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko nang bigla niya akong hilain papasok ng building.

“Sabi ko na nga ba, tama ang narinig ko kagabi! Something happened!” galit niyang bulong habang patuloy akong hinahatak paakyat sa third floor.

“Hey!” I reacted in shock nang puwersahan niya akong ipasok sa loob ng unit niya.

Pinaupo niya ako sa dining chair at mabilis na kumuha ng first aid kit sa kusina.

Lumuhod siya sa harapan ko, leveling his height to mine habang nakaupo ako. Pinanood ko lang siya, waiting for his next move. Kumuha siya ng Betadine at sinimulang linisin ang mga sugat sa mukha ko.

“He—” Magsasalita pa lang sana ako pero pinigilan niya ako gamit ang isang seryosong tingin.

“Let me,” magalang pero firm niyang sambit.

I just watched him treat my wounds. Minsan, nakikita ko ang pag-igting ng panga niya tuwing umiinda ako sa hapdi ng bulak.

He continued applying ointment sa mga pasa ko, lalo na sa mga namamagang parte ng leeg ko.

Nang sinundan na ng tingin niya ang direksyon ng mga pasa pababa sa jacket ko, he suddenly glanced at me, and I felt his hesitation.

I sensed his nervousness, kaya hindi ko napigilang ngumisi. Without a word, hinubad ko ang jacket at t-shirt ko sa harapan niya.

I was left in my bralette.

Napalayo siya nang bahagya at agad na umiwas ng tingin. I just waited for him to look back. When he finally glanced at my body again, his eyes turned dark.

As he scanned the bruises and marks covering my skin, his expression shifted into something complex—something I couldn’t quite understand anymore.

He started treating me again, and I just sat there, watching him. He was so focused, so serious about my wounds, which gave me the chance to really stare at him.

Ngayon ko lang napansin ang buhok niya. It was shiny, with a color like cigarette ashes, pero kahit ganoon ang kulay, mukha itong buhay na buhay at alagang-alaga.

Habang tinititigan ko siya, kumpirmado ko na—he’s definitely younger than me. And it confuses me. Bakit niya ba ito ginagawa? We don’t even know each other.

“How old are you?” tanong ko.

“23,” sagot niya. Hindi man lang siya nag-angat ng tingin dahil seryoso pa rin siya sa paggamot ng mga sugat ko.

See? I was right. Younger than me.

“Name?” I asked again. Kumuha ako ng isang stick ng sigarilyo sa bulsa ko at sinindihan ito.

“Peter,” he replied, still not glancing up.

Tumango lang ako at humithit. Hinayaan ko lang siya sa ginagawa niya habang ang mga mata ko ay gumagala sa paligid ng unit niya. Then, I saw something familiar.

“You sing?” tanong ko sabay buga ng usok sa direksyon niya. That’s when he finally looked at me.

“Don’t smoke here,” sabi niya, imbes na sagutin ang tanong ko. I just smirked at him and blew another cloud of smoke, this time directly into his face.

“So you sing? Artist?” I continued, not bothered by his cold tone.

Nang matapos siyang gamutin ako, niligpit niya ang first aid kit at bumalik sa harapan ko. I gazed at him while smoking, then stood up to reach for my clothes and jacket.

“I love that song,” I said, pointing at the CD on his living room table. It was one of the songs I wrote back then.

“Why do you have so many bruises? Did your partner do that to you?” Seryoso ang boses niya. Iba ang aura niya ngayon kaysa noong una kaming magkita sa rooftop.

Hindi ko siya sinagot. Instead, I just smiled at him. “Thank you sa paggamot, kid,” pasasalamat ko at nagsimulang maglakad paalis.

I was about to open the door when he suddenly slammed it shut, blocking my way. He stared me down. “Do you want us to report what he did to you?”

Natawa ako sa sinabi niya at muling bumuga ng usok sa mukha niya. “You know, kid, this is an adult problem. Don’t bother yourself. We’re fine, no need for the police.” Hindi ko mapigilang matawa sa mindset ng mga kabataan ngayon.

They think the police can save everything.

What he didn’t know was that Cole is a police officer.

“I’m not a kid,” seryoso niyang sambit habang nakatitig nang malalim sa mga mata ko.

This time, I faced him fully and leaned against the door. “Really?” I said in my low, sexy voice.

I saw how his Adam’s apple moved as he gulped. Hinawakan ko ang baba niya at sinimulang asarin ang mga labi niya.

“23 is not bad for a 26, right?” I whispered, an inch away from his mouth.

“Yeah,” he huskily replied, his gaze dropping to my lips.

I smirked—and kissed him.

CHAPTER SIX : SORRY

Nagising ako na lampas alas-dose na ng tanghali. Napahaba ang tulog ko, and for the first time in a while, I felt properly rested. Hindi pumunta dito si Cole kagabi.

Sabi niya, may biglaang mission siya somewhere, so he wasn’t able to drop by—which was a huge relief for me. At least, I got the chance to rest and let my wounds heal in peace.

Bigla kong naisip yung bata. I bit my lip as I stared at the ceiling, naalala ang eksena sa unit niya.

“23 is not bad for a 26, right?” I whispered at the inch of distance between our lips.

“Yeah,” he huskily said, his eyes fixed on my mouth.

I smirked and kissed him.

He stiffened, hindi gumalaw kahit isang pulgada. I smirked into the kiss and continued teasing him. Bigla kong hinila ang kwelyo ng t-shirt niya kaya nagulat siya.

He accidentally opened his mouth, and I didn’t waste a second—I stuck my tongue in.

I licked and explored the inside of his mouth. Ramdam ko pa rin ang awkwardness at pagkailang niya habang magkadikit ang mga labi namin; he was still frozen.

Nang mapansin kong hindi talaga siya gumagalaw, tumigil ako at lumayo nang konti. I gazed at him. He opened his eyes and stared at me in total disbelief.

I stuck my tongue to the side of my cheek and slowly licked my lips while staring him down. Mukhang hindi pa rin siya makapaniwala sa ginawa ko, kaya tinawanan ko lang siya. Tinulak ko na siya palayo sa pinto para makalabas ako ng unit niya.

Naiwan siyang tulala at wala sa sarili sa loob. Dumeretso na ako sa sarili kong unit at nagsimulang maghubad pagpasok sa kwarto.

Nahiga ako muli at ipinikit ang mga mata hanggang sa makatulog.

He’s still a kid based on how he reacted last night. Ginawa ko lang naman ’yun para pasalamatan siya sa paggamot sa akin.

At first, I thought he was the type of guy who would easily give in when a woman kisses him, but he didn’t move a muscle. He remained stunned until I left. I guess my judgment isn’t always right.

Maya-maya ay bumangon na ako at lumapit sa P.C. ko. Pagbukas ko ng Gmail, tadtad ng messages mula sa company ang sumalubong sa akin.

They were begging me for the deadline of the music they need to release this month. Kumuha ako ng candy sa drawer ko at kumain habang sinisimulang i-send ang files.

Good thing I finished everything last night; it made my job a lot easier today.

Habang nag-uupload, napaisip ako: sino naman kayang bagong artist ang kakanta nito? I was so preoccupied thinking about it that I didn’t notice the transfer was already done.

Ring.

My phone rang. I quickly answered it. “Hello,” walang gana kong sambit.

“We already received the new music! The boss was so impressed, Wendy. He’s willing to offer you a much higher salary if you can produce new music this coming winter. He’s planning a winter special album for our new artist. What do you think? He’ll triple your salary!” excited na boses ng manager ko mula sa kabilang linya.

Natigil ang pagnguya ko sa candy. Triple? That’s a massive offer, but the problem is, I don’t know if I can find the right mood to create something new for the coming month.

“I’m not sure,” maikli kong sagot.

“That’s okay, don’t rush yourself. We’ll wait, Wendy. Just contact me once you’ve made up your mind, okay? Ciao!” Pagkababa niya ng tawag, sumandal ako sa upuan at tumitig sa bintanang natatakpan ng dark curtains.

Kaya ko pa bang gumawa?

Gusto ko lang munang magpahinga dahil hanggang ngayon, kumikirot pa rin ang mga sugat ko. I was silently drinking beer inside the shower when my phone rang again. It was Cole.

As I answered, narinig ko ang ingay ng mga boses at wangwang ng sirena sa kabilang linya. I guess he’s in the patrol car. I took a sip of my beer before speaking. “Hey,” halos pabulong kong bati.

“I won’t be coming home for two days, so don’t you fucking dare go out of that building,” madiin niyang banta bago agad pinatayan ng tawag.

Huminga ako nang malalim at inihagis ang cellphone ko palabas ng shower room. I guess I have two days of peace. Two days of rest before I go back to hell again.

“I deserve it, though,” sarcastically kong bulong sabay tungga ng beer.

After showering, nakatanggap ako ng email mula sa company. Magpapadala raw sila ng mga bagong instruments at equipment para mas mapadali ang trabaho ko. I ate some cup noodles for lunch and waited the whole day.

Nang mag-text ang delivery man na nasa harap na siya ng building, ako na ang nagkusang bumaba para kunin ang package. It was a medium-sized box, kaya kailangan ko itong dalhin nang nakayakap sa harap ko habang naglalakad pabalik sa unit.

Habang binabaybay ang hallway, nakita ko si Peter na may kausap na batang babae sa harap ng unit niya. So, this boy is something. May girlfriend na pala siya, pero hinayaan niya akong pumasok sa unit niya kagabi?

“Naughty,” lazily kong bulong sa sarili habang naglalakad palapit.

Sakto namang umalis ang babaeng kausap niya pagtapat ko. I was about to open my door when someone suddenly held my hand.

“Ahm… I-I c-cooked d-dinner. Would y-you like to eat with me?”

I stared at his hand on mine. Akala ko bibitaw siya, pero lalo niyang hinigpitan ang hawak at binigyan ako ng isang bright smile.

“I don—” Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko nang bigla niyang kunin ang bitbit kong package nang hindi binibitawan ang kamay ko. He practically dragged me inside his unit.

“Hey!” I hissed as we stepped inside.

“I cooked too much and I want to share it, so please, eat with me,” he said. Binitawan niya ang package pero nanatiling nakahawak sa kamay ko.

“Let go of my hand,” matigas kong utos habang nakatitig sa kanya.

He glanced at our joined hands before looking back at me with a smile. Hindi siya nakinig; sa halip, hinila niya ako paupo sa dining table. Mabilis siyang kumilos para paghandaan ako ng pagkain.

I just watched him, wondering what his deal was, until he finally sat in front of me.

Binigyan ko siya ng malamig na tingin, but he was persistent, still smiling at me. Those eyes! I hate them.

“Here, try this,” sabi niya sabay lagay ng pagkain sa plato ko. He kept serving me other treats, talking non-stop. Medyo napailing ako; ang ingay niya.

“We didn’t get a chance to talk last night, so I invited you here,” he said calmly.

He’s so different now. Kagabi, seryoso at mukhang matapang siya, pero ngayon, para siyang pusa na nagpapapansin sa amo niya. Ano bang meron sa batang ’to? Is he bipolar?

Habang pinapanood ko siya, mukhang napansin niya ang titig ko kaya napatigil siya. Our eyes met.

Those eyes—it was like they were talking to me, expressing a thousand feelings I couldn’t name. And I hated that I couldn’t control my reaction to it.

I was going to lose it. I avoided his gaze and stood up. “I need to go, kid,” sabi ko sabay dampot sa package ko, pero agad niya akong pinigilan.

He pulled me by the nape and forced a kiss. My eyes widened in shock, but I reacted quickly. Nang magsimulang gumalaw ang mga labi niya, sumabay ako.

I kissed him back, feeling his hand slide down to my waist, gently massaging my abdomen. His tongue explored mine, licking and sucking my lower lip as if he had been longing for this for a long time.

He pushed me against the dining table, clearing the plates away with one sweep before laying me down. His gaze shifted, and his aura suddenly turned dark—just like last night.

Pinanood ko siyang maghubad ng polo bago niya ako muling binalikan ng halik na bumaba sa panga, leeg, at dibdib ko.

Everything was moving so fast, and I realized I was actually enjoying it. I’m used to sex, but his style was different. It was soft, gentle, and filled with a kind of respect I wasn’t used to.

I pulled him up and kissed him torridly. I reached for his bulge to tease him. “Agh!” he groaned at my touch. I kept going until he became aggressive, stripping off my top, pants, and undies.

Tumigil siya sandali at madilim na tumitig sa wetness ko bago tumingin sa mukha ko. His expression softened when our eyes met, and he leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on my forehead. That was unexpected.

I just stared at him as he unbuckled his belt. His length was no joke for a 23-year-old.

He leaned in again. He had that dark aura, but his movements said the opposite—every touch was filled with care.

“Can I?” he whispered against my ear, licking my lobe that sent shivers down my spine.

“Yes,” I whispered back. He kissed me again to distract me as he entered.

“Ah!” I groaned. Even though Cole had done this to me many times, I still felt the sting of him penetrating me.

“Fucking tight!” he groaned, gripping my hands tight as he resumed.

I closed my eyes hard, enduring the initial pain, but then I felt his lips on my eyelids. “Sorry,” he whispered before pushing all the way in. His voice was so soft.

He started thrusting, giving me small, tender kisses with every move. The room was filled with our moans and the rhythmic sound of the table. It felt too intimate, too sweet.

I felt a flicker of something—warmth, maybe?—but I chose to ignore it and focus on the sensation.

“Agh! I’m cumming,” he groaned, his pace getting faster and rougher.

The thrusts turned harder until we both reached the climax. He collapsed, resting his weight on me, and whispered one last thing.

“Sorry.”

CHAPTER SEVEN : STREAK OF LUCK

I sat on the edge of the bed, watching my son sleep. In the stillness, his features were soft and rhythmic, a stark contrast to the sharp, inexplicable aggression he carried through the day.

I looked for clues in his calm face, wondering where that hidden storm went when he closed his eyes.

I lift up some strands of hair and fix my shirt on; I can’t believe I had sex with this kid over here.

Siguro dala lang ng excitement, he was so young and aggressive that I cannot insist on his charm.

Lumabas na ako ng silid niya at nagtungo sa pinto ng unit kung saan nakalagay ang package ko. I glanced at my watch—it was already past 7 PM.

“Tsk,” I muttered, finally leaving his place.

Pagpasok ko sa sarili kong unit, sinalubong agad ako ng malamig na hangin.

“Fuck,” naiwan ko palang bukas yung aircon bago ako umalis kanina. Doon ko lang din narealize na naiwan ko ang jacket ko sa loob ng unit ng batang ’yon.

Pero dahil sa pagod, tinatamad na akong bumalik. Humiga na lang ako sa couch at nagsimulang kagatin ang kuko ko habang nakatulala sa kisame.

Ilang minuto rin akong ganoon hanggang sa biglang may pumasok sa isip ko.

“Nananana… hmmm…” I found myself mumbling a melody. Bigla akong napatayo at tumakbo sa kwarto.

This tone! I have the melody in my head! Mabilis kong kinuha ang drum pad machine at gitara ko.

“Na… nana… hmm…” Tuloy-tuloy lang ang pag-hum ko para hindi ito mawala.

I quickly laid down the beat on my drum pad and layered it with the melody of my guitar.

I was so locked into the music echoing in my mind that I didn’t notice the hours slipping away.

When I finally finished, I leaned back in my swivel chair and stretched, realizing it was already midnight.

I stared at the PC screen in disbelief. I had finished the entire track in just five hours.

Usually, it takes me days to polish a piece, but this time, it felt effortless. As I hit play and listened to the playback, the only thing I could see was that kid’s eyes.

It hit me then—the song was about him. That kid had helped me produce music in the easiest way I’d ever experienced.

I grabbed my phone and dialed my manager.

“Hello, Wen? Why are you calling in the middle of the night? I’m at a shoot with one of my other talents,” she said breathlessly the moment she picked up.

“I just finished a new track. I’m sending it to your email ASAP,” I replied. I heard her sharp intake of breath on the other end, followed by the notification that she had opened the file.

“Give me a minute,” she said, her tone turning serious.

I leaned back and lit a cigarette, waiting. I watched the smoke curl toward the ceiling as she listened. After a long silence, she finally spoke. “Oh my god.”

“What do you think?” I asked tonelessly, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

“How long did you work on this? A week? Two? Why didn’t you tell me you were working on something like this?” she asked, her voice thick with disbelief.

I let out a fake chuckle. “I actually just made that in five hours. So?”

“Shoot! You’re a genius, Wendy—fucking genius! This song is incredible, and it’s the perfect fit for our new artist. Will you give this to the company? Are you finally accepting the boss’s offer?”

“Yeah, why not? It’s just two songs for this coming month, right? I’ve submitted one, so I only owe you one more,” I replied.

“Yes! Yes! Absolutely!” she exclaimed, her voice buzzing with excitement.

“Fine. Just send me the contract,” I said, cutting the call short.

I moved to my bed and lay down, continuing to smoke. My eyes landed on a blade resting on the nightstand.

I reached for it, stubbing out my cigarette with the other hand. I raised both arms toward the ceiling, twirling the blade between my fingers, watching the light glint off the steel.

I was just about to press it against my wrist when my phone lit up. I reached for it and saw a text from Cole:

“Still alive? Don’t kill yourself. You don’t have the right.”

A bitter smirk twisted my lips as I threw the blade across the room. He was right.

Death was too easy a sentence for my sins. I smiled to myself and let the phone drop beside me. A simple chuckle bubbled up in my throat, growing into a loud, hollow laugh that echoed until I finally fell into a restless sleep.

---

PETER

I woke up at dawn and immediately felt the emptiness beside me. I scrambled out of bed and checked the door for the package, but it was gone—she had already left.

As I sat on the couch, my eyes caught her jacket draped over the dining table. I walked over and picked it up, the fabric still soft in my hands.

She must have forgotten it. I leaned in and breathed in her scent; it was still there, a lingering fragrance that made me smile despite myself.

I didn’t understand these feelings, but I think I’d fallen for her at first sight.

What happened last night was the best night of my life, and I was already craving more.

Even in the shower, I couldn’t get her out of my head.

The memory of her was so vivid I had to take matters into my own hands.

“Agh… fuck!” I groaned as I reached my release against the tiled wall.

I leaned my forehead against the cool surface, the water rushing over me.

Did I really just do that? Fuck. I stayed there for a moment, face-palming at my own desperation, before finally fixing myself up.

Later at the venue, my assistant was prepping me for the shoot when Empress approached.

“Why are you so happy? Did something happen?” she asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

“Me?” I asked, a smile tugging at my lips.

“Yeah, duh! Who else? Look at you—your eyes say it all! So, what’s the story?” she prodded, sitting beside me.

Her makeup artist followed, trying to fix her hair while we prepared for the new product launch.

I shook my head, my mind immediately drifting back to Wendy. “Nothing really happened,” I said, though the smile remained.

It felt dangerous to be this obsessed, but I liked it.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not. Anyway, I have to go to the set—bye!” I stood up and made a quick exit. I knew she couldn’t follow me yet since her hair was only half-finished.

I reached the venue and the photoshoot began, but the atmosphere shifted the moment the CEO arrived.

The room went quiet as the CEO walked in. Everyone immediately bowed or called out greetings, but my heart skipped a beat when he made a direct line for me.

“Sir,” I said, offering a respectful bow as he stopped right in front of me.

He offered a rare, approving smile and nodded. “Peter Gonzales, right?”

“Yes, sir,” I replied, keeping my voice steady despite the nerves.

“I have excellent news for you. Our lead composer just released a new track—it’s a masterpiece. I want you to be the one to debut it at the upcoming Winter Festival. It’s a huge stage. What do you think?”

My eyes widened. This wasn’t just a job; it was the breakthrough I had been waiting for. The Winter Festival was the biggest event of the year. I didn’t even have to think about it.

“I’d be honored, sir. I won’t let you down,” I said firmly.

“Good. I’m expecting nothing but the best from you,” he said, giving my shoulder a brief pat before heading out with his entourage.

The moment he was out of sight, I couldn’t suppress the grin spreading across my face.

My mind immediately flashed to Wendy. Was she my lucky charm? Everything had started changing the moment she entered my life.

If she was the reason for this sudden streak of luck, then there was no way in hell I was letting her go.

CHAPTER EIGHT : MAKE YOU STAY

“Achoo!” Fuck. The cold was still clinging to me.

I pulled the comforter tighter around my shoulders and sank back into the mattress. It was already 8 PM. I had spent the entire day polishing the new track, and now, all I wanted was to disappear into a long, dreamless sleep.

I glanced at my reflection in the darkened window; my wounds and bruises were healing faster than expected. I had that kid to thank for that, I suppose.

I was just drifting into a nap when a sharp knock echoed through the unit. I bolted upright, my heart hammering against my ribs. My hands began to tremble, and a familiar, sickly weakness took over my knees.

I walked to the door, my breath hitching as I slowly turned the handle. “Cole, I thought you said you’d be away for—”

The words died in my throat. It wasn’t Cole.

It was him. He stood there with a bright, energetic smile that seemed to light up the dim hallway.

“You?” I managed to mutter.

“Hi,” he beamed.

I took a shaky breath, trying to force the tremors in my hands to stop. My mind was still reeling—every time there was a knock, I braced myself for Cole’s shadow.

I leaned against the doorframe, forcing a lazy, indifferent stare while I mindlessly bit at my nail. I couldn’t stop the shaking. Fuck, I’m still this terrified of him.

“I brought food,” the kid said, lifting a bag. “And I was hoping I could invite you over to my pad to ha—”

“No,” I cut him off before he could finish.

“Tingin mo sakin tanga? You want sex?” His eyes widened, and he froze mid-sentence. The bright, hopeful energy he brought to the hallway seemed to stiffen instantly.

I smirked, watching the light drain from his face. So, I was right? What a horny kid, lusting for a girl older than him.

He stood there, stunned, and I kept that sharp, bitter smile fixed on my lips. If he was going to hang around me, he might as well learn now: I wasn’t the kind of person who played nice.

I turned my back on him and walked back into the unit, leaving him standing in the hallway like a ghost. I grabbed a beer and a cigarette, needing something to numb the lingering tremors. I was just about to sink into the couch when his voice cracked through the silence.

“Yes!”

He shouted it, though his head was bowed, his knuckles white as he gripped the paper bag of food. I frowned, waiting for the rest of the outburst.

“Yes, I want you! I do want you!” he blurted out. Before I could process the words, he marched into my unit.

I was caught completely off guard as he grabbed my wrist—his grip firm and undeniable—and pulled me toward the door.

“Hey!” I gasped, stumbling as he dragged me across the hall toward his own pad.

The moment we crossed his threshold, he slammed the door shut, pinning me against it. He didn’t use force, but he caged me in with his presence.

He reached for my hand, his touch surprisingly gentle as he laced his fingers through mine, his eyes locked onto mine with a burning intensity.

I was breathless, my mind racing as I tried to find a place to look—anywhere but at him. “Hey, kid, what are you doi—”

My words were cut short. He leaned in and kissed me.

At first, I tried to shove him away, but as his kiss softened, my resolve began to crumble. I found myself wanting him—needing this.

I slowly wrapped my arms around his nape, and in response, he pulled me flush against his body, his hands firm against my waist.

His kisses trailed down my jaw, searing a path of heat down to my neck. I let out a sharp, breathless smirk, tilting my head back to give him better access.

“Lusting after a three-year age gap… how brave,” I whispered sarcastically, even as my heart hammered against my ribs.

He was savoring me, and the sensation was unlike anything I had ever felt. “Let me,” he muttered, his voice dropping into a husky growl as he tightened his grip.

He pulled back just enough to lean his forehead against mine. He stared at me with an intensity so pure it felt like I was the only thing left in his world.

“What?” I breathed.

“Let me,” he repeated.

“Let you what?” I asked, intoxicated by the scent of his minty breath and the heat radiating between us.

“Let me own you.”

The word own hit me like a physical blow. The ghost of Cole flashed in my mind—the ownership that felt like a cage, like a death sentence. Fuck it.

I shoved him back, my palms beginning to tremble with that familiar, sickening rhythm. I tried to hide my hands, but he was too quick. He saw the shaking. Confusion flickered in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced by concern as he snatched my hands, trying to steady them in his.

“Hey, what’s happening? Are you okay?” he asked, his voice thick with worry.

I glared at him, my defenses slamming back into place. “I’m already owned by someone, kid!”

His jaw clenched, a flash of possessive anger crossing his face. “I don’t care,” he growled. He grabbed my face, pulling me into a torrid, desperate kiss that tasted like defiance.

I gasped as he lifted me, carrying me toward his bedroom without breaking the kiss. He pinned me beneath him on the bed, his movements aggressive yet strangely anchored in respect.

“If owning you means sharing the sin with another man,” he whispered against my lips,

“Then let me live in that city of sin with you.”

Those words silenced the ghosts in my head. I stopped fighting and let myself drown in him. I met every kiss with my own, fueled by a mixture of pleasure and a desperate need to forget.

Hours later, I lay there, breathless and tangled in the sheets with him draped over me. I did it again, I thought, staring at the ceiling. I let him in.

The moment he withdrew and lay beside me, I moved to leave. My feet hadn’t even hit the floor before his hand shot out, catching my wrist and pulling me back.

“What!?” I snapped, arching a brow at him in a sharp glare.

He offered me a sweet, effortless smile. “Let’s eat.”

I stared at him in sheer disbelief. “Is this what kids do these days? Ask for a meal after sex? Wow, that’s a first,” I said, rolling my eyes with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

He chuckled, undeterred. “And do ‘older women’ always give in to young kids that easily?” he countered, leaning heavily on the word kid to mock my defense.

I made a face at him and tried to wrench my hand free, but his grip was a silent, stubborn anchor.

“Let’s eat,” he repeated, standing up without letting me go.

“Hey, let go of me!”

Ignoring my protest, he reached for a bathrobe and wrapped it around me as if I were a porcelain doll.

Then, he pulled on his boxers right in front of me. I averted my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest, annoyed that he still hadn’t released my hand. I didn’t get this kid. He’d already gotten what he wanted; why wouldn’t he just let me leave?

When he was dressed, he swept me up into his arms, carrying me like a bride to the dining table. He set me down and began unpacking the food—all while keeping one hand firmly locked onto mine.

Watching him struggle to open the takeout bags with only one hand, I finally spoke up. “Why don’t you let go so you can actually do that properly?”

He leaned in, his face inches from mine, his smile never wavering. “I don’t want to let go yet.”

I sighed and looked away, letting him have his way. Once the table was set, he finally sat beside me and released his grip. “Let’s eat,” he said, as if the last few hours hadn’t happened.

I didn’t move. I had no appetite; I just sat there watching him eat. Sensing my stillness, he frowned and turned toward me. “Why aren’t you eating?”

“I’m full,” I said tonelessly. I started to stand up, but his hand was back on my wrist in a heartbeat.

“Please. Eat with me.”

My patience snapped. “Hey, kid! Let’s clear one thing up, okay? I had sex with you because it was hot and I felt like it. That does not give you the right to control me like this!”

The softness in his face vanished instantly. His expression went stone-cold, and his gaze darkened so intensely it made me shift uncomfortably in my seat. He stood up, towering over me with that same shadowy look in his eyes.

“I have beer,” he said suddenly.

I blinked, confused. “What?”

“If beer and cigarettes are what it takes to make you stay, then I’ll give them to you.” He marched to the kitchen and returned with a case of beer and a fresh pack of cigarettes.

He slammed them onto the table in front of me.

“Eat with me first,” he commanded, his voice low and unwavering. “Then stay for the night. Please.”

CHAPTER NINE : WHO ARE YOU?

Days bled into one another. Cole hadn’t texted or visited in a week, leaving me with a silence that should have been peaceful. I had the time to create, to breathe, but a new presence had stepped in to fill Cole’s void at night.

Knock. Knock.

Speaking of the devil. I stubbed out my cigarette and headed for the door. The moment it swung open, I was met with a kiss.

“Hi,” he murmured. He looked exhausted, still carrying his work bag—he’d come straight here.

This kid had been a constant shadow since that first night.

He never stopped pestering me for dinner, invitations that invariably ended in his bed, tangled in an intimacy I couldn’t quite name.

He gripped my waist and pulled me out of my unit, leading me into his pad to continue where we left off.

I reached for his belt, ready to skip the pleasantries, but he stopped my hand and broke the kiss. “Let’s eat first. I brought sushi,” he said with a bright smile, gently nudging me toward the breakfast table. I couldn’t get used to his weirdness, but I stopped fighting it.

“I picked this up on the way home,” he chatted away, laying out the spread. “By the way, did I mention I’m an artist?”

Lately, I had actually started eating real meals again because of him. If I tried to refuse, he would nag and tease until I gave in just to shut him up. “See? It’s yummy, right?”

“Can we just get to the point?” I asked frankly, watching him. “Why are you doing this?”

He looked at me with feigned innocence, continuing to eat while holding my hand. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb, kid,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

He chuckled. “I told you, I like you.”

“When?” I frowned.

“Last night. Right when we both reached the peak,” he said with a smirk.

“What!?”

“I said it right when you were—”

I stuffed a piece of sushi into his mouth to shut him up. He burst out laughing, and I felt a hot flash of embarrassment. It was just sex—why did I care? “Sorry to burst your bubble, kid, but like I said—”

He cut me off by doing the exact same thing, popping sushi into my mouth. “Yeah, yeah. Just eat so you can rest.”

I gave in, later hunting for a beer. He kept his fridge stocked with my brands now, a standing bribe to keep me from retreating to my own unit. It was a convenient deal. If I stayed in my pad, the nightmares found me. Here, I could use him as a distraction.

Later, while he cleaned up, I stood by his window staring at the city lights. His view was vast and alive, unlike the dead, curtained silence of my own place. Peter eventually sank onto the couch beside me, closing his eyes.

“I had a rough day,” he sighed. “I’m trying to finish this new album, putting everything I have into it…” He let out a bitter laugh.

“But no matter how hard I work, people just see my parents’ name. No one sees me . I’m just Royce Gonzales’s son—the kid born to the richest family in the country. I just want to be recognized for my own talent, not my father’s shadow.”

His words hit a nerve. That desperate need to prove himself… he sounded just like him . They were like jinxes.

He had wanted to prove himself, too, but he never got the chance because of me. That was why I didn’t deserve a stable life. That was why I had Cole—to remind me of the blood on my hands.

Peter kept talking, but my mind drifted. The phrase prove myself looped in my head like a broken record.

“I’ve lived my whole life in a shadow I want to break—”

I stopped his words with a kiss, pulling him toward me. He stiffened in surprise but quickly responded, pulling me onto his lap. His touch was gentle, a style I was dangerously starting to get used to.

Hours later, we lay exhausted in the dark. I turned my back to him, reaching for my cigarettes, but he pulled me into a tight embrace from behind.

“Can we just sleep?” he whispered into my shoulder.

I struggled, reaching for the box again, but he wouldn’t let go. “Please,” he urged.

Something about the way he said it made me stop. I surrendered to the warmth of his arms and, for the first time in a long while, fell into a sleep that wasn’t haunted.

I woke up the next morning still tucked against him. I stared at his sleeping face, and just as I reached out to touch him, a loud knock thundered at the door. I slipped out of his grasp, threw on my discarded t-shirt from the floor, and opened the door.

A girl stood there, her words dying in her throat as she saw me. Her eyes widened in shock.

“Peter, what time is it? You sh—” She stopped, her gaze raking over my disheveled state.

“Who are you!?”

CHAPTER TEN : STAY WITH ME

EMPRESS

“Manong, dito na lang po.” Mabilis akong bumaba ng taxi at hinila ang bag ko. Pagkaabot ng bayad, tumakbo na ako agad pumasok sa building.

We were running out of time. Mag-i-start na ang shooting pero wala pa rin akong natatanggap na text galing kay Royce. I figured he was still sleeping, kaya dinaluhan ko na siya sa unit niya para sabay na kaming dumiretso sa set.

Takbo-lakad ang ginawa ko paakyat ng hagdan. I kept glancing at my watch—malalate na talaga kami. When I reached his door, I didn’t hesitate to knock loudly. Alam ko kasing mahirap siyang gisingin.

It took a few seconds bago bumukas ang pinto. I was already irritated; this guy is so irresponsible when it comes to sleep.

“Peter, what time it is already? You sh—”

Napatigil ako. Hindi siya ang nagbukas ng pinto. I froze when a girl appeared instead of Royce.

Sino ’to?

“Who are you!?” tanong ko, raising my brows at her. Bakit siya nasa pad ni Royce?

Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko nang tignan niya ako nang matabang. She looked like she didn’t care about my presence at all. Inayos lang niya ang sarili niya at nilagpasan ako.

“Hey!” I huffed as she walked past me. Nagulat ako nang pumasok siya sa tapat na unit ng pad ni Royce. She gave me one last emotionless stare before closing her door.

Naiwan akong nakatayo doon, tulala.

“Wendy, where are—” Napalingon ako kay Royce. Lumabas siya na boxers lang ang suot.

“Empress?” he uttered, gulat na gulat.

“What the fuck, Royce! Tell me what’s happening!!!” sigaw ko.

Bakas sa mukha niya ang gulat—hindi niya inaasahan na nandito ako. Pero nang mapansin niyang wala na yung babaeng hinahanap niya, he took a deep breath. He actually looked disappointed that she left.

“Come in,” he said, walking back inside as if I wasn’t asking him something serious.

“WHAT THE FUCK, ROYCE!” Sigaw ko ulit pagpasok. Sobrang kalat ng pad niya at kitang-kita ko ang gamit ng babae sa sahig ng kwarto niya.

Nagsuot siya ng shirt bago ako hinarap sa living room. “Aren’t you going to say something?” sarkastiko kong tanong. Umupo ako sa harap niya at nag-cross ng arms. I was beyond irritated.

Hindi pa rin siya sumasagot. “Hey, Royce!!!”

“She’s Wendy. She lives in front of my pad.”

I glared at him. “Yeah, I saw that. Ang tanong ko, bakit siya nasa kwarto mo!?”

“I invited her for breakfast,” he said, avoiding my gaze.

“REALLY!?” Sarcastic tone was all over my voice. Hindi ako tanga. “I’m not six years old para hindi maintindihan ang nakita ko, Royce! Now answer me—bakit kasama mo ang babaeng ’yan early this morning, boxers lang ang suot mo, at may mga damit pa siya sa sahig niyo!?” I nagged.

He acted like he didn’t hear me and checked his phone. “Fuck, we’re late,” mabilis niyang sambit. Agad siyang tumayo para tumuloy sa silid.

He didn’t answer any of my questions. Hinayaan ko na muna siya dahil alam kong mas lalo lang kaming malalate sa shoot kung itutuloy ko ang pangungulit.

After he dressed up, nag-rush na kami sa set. Nasermunan pa kami ng manager bago mag-start. I remained silent throughout the shoot. I focused on the job dahil ayaw kong magulo ang trabaho namin, pero the moment na matapos kami, binalikan ko agad si Royce sa dressing room.

“Now, tell me. What really happened this morning?” mahinahon kong tanong.

“Nothing.”

What!? Deny pa rin!? I started to feel really pissed. “Royce, come on! Tell me, bakit doon natulog ang babaeng ’yon?”

Patuloy pa rin siya sa ginagawa niya, parang hindi ako naririnig, hanggang sa lumabas na siya ng dressing room. I followed him. “Hey!”

“Empress, wala akong dapat sabihin. Sabi ko naman sa’yo, I just invited her for breakfast. Don’t overthink, okay?” he uttered. Nag-goodbye na siya sa managers at directors.

Hindi ko siya tinantanan hanggang sa makalabas kami ng building. “Royce naman, kasi! Tell me na!” I started to act nice para mapa-spill siya.

He glanced at me and smiled. Ginulo niya ang buhok ko gamit ang kaliwang kamay, then wrapped his arm around my shoulder to hug me.

“Hey! I’m still asking you!” I huffed, but he just chuckled.

“Ang kulit. It’s nothing, so stop thinking about it!” he said calmly.

“Sabihin mo na lang kung sino yung babaeng ’yon, then I’ll stop asking!” I pouted. Kasalukuyan kaming naglalakad sa harap ng office building nang biglang may humarang sa amin.

Napalingon ako kay Royce. I saw his jaw clench, his face turning cold and firm.

“Royce,” his father called out.

“Dad,” he replied. Biglang bumigat ang atmosphere. I felt so uncomfortable.

“So, this is how you’re going to live?” nakakatakot na sabi ni Tito.

“Yeah,” walang ganang sagot ni Royce. His aura became darker. Napatuwid ako ng tayo; the tension between them was suffocating.

“Do you really think you’ll be successful in this?” Tito asked.

“Yes. You’ll see. So, if you’ll excuse us, we’ll take our leave.” Walang sabi-sabing hinila ako ni Royce at nilagpasan ang ama niya.

I looked back at his father. He was just watching us walk away with a stern, serious face.

“You’ll come back on bended knees, asking me to accept you back because you’re a failure, son!” his dad shouted.

Naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng hawak ni Royce sa kamay ko. Agad kaming sumakay ng taxi at hinatid niya ako pauwi. The whole ride, he was silent and serious, kaya hindi ko na siya tinanong.

Pagkababa ko, I gave him an awkward smile. “Bye.”

“Bye,” he said with a forced smile.

As he drove away, hindi ko mapigilang mag-alala. I know how he feels. His dad never supported him.

“You can do it, Royce,” I whispered to the wind.

---

WENDY

It was already 7:30 PM. I finally finished the new track. Nag-unat ako at uminom ng beer bago humiga sa kama.

At last, my job was done. I just needed to submit it to the company tomorrow.

Humiga ako at tumitig sa kisame habang kinakagat ang kuko ko—my usual routine when the anxiety started to kick in.

After what happened this morning, I had fully decided to avoid that kid. It was for the best. Lalong lalaki lang ang gulo kapag nanatili ako sa tabi niya. And that girl… Empress… she seemed so close to him. She belonged in his world; I didn’t.

I lit a cigarette after my beer, trying to force myself into a nap. Pero habang nakapikit, hindi ko maiwasang magtaka. Hanggang ngayon, wala pa ring anino ni Cole.

The silence was deafening.

Bigla akong napatayo nang makarinig ng sunod-sunod at malalakas na katok sa pinto. My heart hammered against my ribs. Bago ko pinalad ang pinto, hinawakan ko muna nang mahigpit ang nanginginig kong kamay. I knew it was Cole.

I could feel the familiar terror crawling up my spine.

Pikit-mata kong binuksan ang pinto, bracing myself for the impact of a heavy blow. Hinihintay ko ang sakit, ang bagsak ng kamay niya sa mukha ko. Pero lumipas ang ilang segundo at walang nangyari.

Instead of a strike, I heard a ragged, broken sob.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw Peter standing there. “Peter—”

Bago ko pa matapos ang sasabihin ko, he collapsed forward, resting his heavy head on my shoulder.

He started crying—hindi yung simpleng iyak lang, kundi yung hagulgol ng taong pagod na pagod na.

“Hey?” I whispered, my own trembling hands slowly finding their way to his back.

He sobbed, his grip on my waist tightening as if he were drowning and I was the only thing keeping him afloat.

“I’m in pain,” he choked out against my skin. “So please… just for tonight… be with me.”

In that moment, the walls I built to push him away crumbled. My fear of Cole, his fear of failure—it all vanished.

Without a word, I pulled him inside and closed the door, shutting out the rest of the world.

For once, hindi siya ang “kid” at hindi ako ang “broken woman.”

We were just two souls finding home in the middle of a storm.

CHAPTER ELEVEN : RIGID

“Pain what?” naguguluhang sambit ko. Nilayo ko siya nang kaunti para maharap ko siya nang maayos.

His eyes were bloodshot. Umiiyak siya at hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero ang uri ng tingin na ibinigay niya sa akin ay ang pinakamahina at pinakamalungkot na nakita ko sa buong buhay ko.

I don’t know what came over me, but I felt a sudden urge to reach out. I cupped his cheeks, my gaze softening as I looked at him.

Para akong tinatangay ng sakit na nararamdaman niya. I slowly pulled him back into a hug when I realized the depth of the agony in his eyes. Paglapat ng mukha niya sa balikat ko, lalong bumuhos ang hikbi niya.

He clung to me like a lost child—scared, pitiful, and with nowhere else to go.

“Shhhhh… I-I’m h-here,” bakit ako nauutal? At bakit ko ba siya tinutulungan? This kid!

Hinayaan ko lang siyang umiyak sa balikat ko hanggang sa kumalma siya. He told me everything.

Habang nagkukuwento, hindi tumitigil ang pag-agos ng luha sa mga pisngi niya. Kasalukuyan kong sinusuklay ang buhok niya gamit ang aking mga daliri habang nakahiga siya sa sofa at nakapatong ang ulo sa kandungan ko.

Dahil sa paghaplos ko, unti-unti siyang tumigil sa pag-iyak hanggang sa tuluyang makatulog. I stared at his face and wiped the dry tear tracks.

Para siyang batang pinabayaan ng nanay. He looked firm on the outside, but deep inside, he was like fragile glass—any moment, puwedeng mabasag.

He wanted to prove his worth, pero hindi siya tinigilan ng tatay niya sa paghamak sa kanya. His dad wanted him in the business, but he chose to be an artist, kahit pa ang kapalit noon ay ang paglayas niya.

Unti-unti na akong nasasanay na malaman ang bawat detalye ng buhay niya. He tells me everything, and I still can’t understand why he’s opening up to me like this.

Sa gitna ng paghaplos ko sa buhok niya, hindi ko namalayan na pati ako ay nakatulog na rin. Nagising na lang ako nang maramdaman kong tila lumulutang ako—buhat-buhat niya pala ako papunta sa loob ng unit niya.

Nang ilapag niya ako sa kama, sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. “Why are you bringing me here? This is kidnapping!” reklamo ko habang inaayos ang buhok ko.

He chuckled and sat beside me. “I’d rather get caught than lose the opportunity to be with you,” he whispered. He hugged me, pulling us both down to lay on the bed.

“So you brought me here for se—”

Napatigil ako nang takpan niya ang bibig ko. “Shhhhh. Hindi sa lahat ng oras katawan mo lang ang nais ko. I know you know how much I want you physically, but I also want your soul, your heart, and everything about you. I want it all, Wendy. I want to own you.”

Natigilan ako. We stared at each other, but I was the one to look away first. Ayaw ko sa pakiramdam na tila unti-unti akong natutunaw sa mga mata niya.

“Why do you want to be an artist?” pag-iiba ko ng usapan. Tinanggal niya ang kamay sa bibig ko at humiga nang maayos sa tabi ko. Pareho kaming nakatitig sa itim na kisame ng kwarto niya.

“Tanging boses ko lang ang nag-uugnay sa akin sa mundo,” simula niya. “Lumaki akong kontrolado ng mga magulang ko.

Bawat galaw, bawat salita, nakabantay sila. Sa pagkanta ko lang nailalabas ang tunay na ako. Kaya nung nagkaroon ako ng chance, pinili ko ang daan palayo sa kanila… at palapit sa kung sino talaga ako.“

I bit my lip, listening.

“Nag-umpisa ako sa industriyang ito nang walang-wala. I had no courage. But then, may isang kanta na ipinatry sa akin ang company.

That song gave me hope. It was produced by a secret songwriter—isang unknown talent. Bawat lyrics ng kanta, parang nakatadhana para sa akin. Nais ko siyang pasalamatan pagdating ng panahon.“

“What’s the song?” I asked.

“Die for Nothing. Ang unang proyekto na ginawa ko,” nakangiti niyang sabi.

I was caught off guard. Nanlaki ang mata ko habang nakatitig sa kanya. Siya ang kumanta niyon? Natawa ako nang bahagya at napaupo. “So… you’re the one who sang that song?”

He glanced at me, smiling. “I guess?”

I felt a small spark of happiness in my chest. I messed with his hair. “You’re good, then.”

He chuckled and smirked. “I’m also good at this.” Inabot niya ang bewang ko at mabilis na pumatong sa akin. He gave me a sweet, soft kiss, and for once, I didn’t fight it. I smiled and kissed him back.

Kinabukasan, inaya niya akong pumasyal sa isang park. He was in full disguise—magic cap and a mask.

“Why are we dressed like wanted persons?” sarkastiko kong tanong. He just laughed and pulled me to the big slide. “Really? Peter, no!”

“Why not? Walang age limit dito! Masaya ’to!” Hinila niya ako para maupo sa harap niya at sabay kaming nagpadulas. I laughed as I managed to stand up before falling, leaving him to slide clumsily onto the ground. He looked so dumb, and it was perfect.

Hapon na kaya wala na masyadong tao. We played like kids, and afterwards, we ate at a fine restaurant. He kept talking, and for the first time, I just quietly listened, enjoying the sound of his voice.

“That was super fun,” nakangiti niyang sabi habang naglalakad kami pabalik ng condo. “Gawin natin ulit ’to. I’ll bring you to other places—”

Napatigil siya nang bigla akong huminto sa paglalakad.

Everything went cold. My body went rigid.

“Hey? Wendy?” Peter asked, looking confused.

My hands started to tremble. My knees were shaking so hard I thought I’d collapse right there on the pavement. Para akong tinakasan ng kaluluwa. The air in my lungs felt like lead.

“Wendy, are you alrigh—”

Doon ko nakita ang isang bulto ng lalaki na nakatayo sa tapat ng entrance ng building.

Nakasandal sa pader, naninigarilyo, at nakatitig sa amin na tila isang manunubok.

“Patrice.”

The voice was cold, familiar, and filled with a terrifying authority.

“C-Cole…” I whispered, my voice barely audible as the world around me started to crumble.

CHAPTER TWELVE : MURDERER

I froze. Everything went cold the moment our eyes met.

“Hey? Wendy, are you alrigh—” Peter’s voice was filled with concern, but it felt miles away.

“Patrice.”

Ang boses na iyon… it felt like a cold blade against my throat.

“C-Cole…” I whispered.

Agad akong bumitaw at lumayo kay Peter nang ma-realize ko na totoo ang presensya ni Cole sa harapan namin. I saw him smirk, watching with dark satisfaction as I recoiled from Peter’s touch. Nagtataka akong tinitigan ni Peter, but I couldn’t worry about his curiosity right now. Kailangan kong mailayo si Peter kay Cole bago pa may mangyaring masama.

I forced my leaden feet to move. Mabilis akong lumapit kay Cole at dahan-dahang inabot ang braso niya kahit halos bumigay na ang mga tuhod ko sa panginginig. Cole calmly stood his ground and offered a fake, charming smile to Peter. He grabbed my hand—his grip was like a vice.

“Tell me, who’s this?” malambing na sambit ni Cole, pero bawat salita ay may dalang banta. He squeezed my hand so hard I had to stand up straight just to suppress a scream.

I glanced at Peter, whose eyes were searching mine. Bakit hindi ako makapag-isip ng dahilan? “N-Nagpasa lang siya sa akin… b-because he’s new here. I h-helped him. We just m-met y-yesterday.” I was stuttering, failing miserably to sound composed.

“Ah, new neighbor. Nice to meet you.” Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang alukin ni Cole ng makipagkamayan si Peter. I watched as Peter, with his amazing acting skills, smiled back.

“Nice to meet you, too. Sorry to bother your girl, I just asked for help. Thank you,” Peter said. Cole wrapped his arm around me, pulling me possessively close. Peter just smiled one last time and glanced at me before saying goodbye.

I watched him walk away with his head bowed. The moment Peter vanished, Cole’s grip tightened on my hair.

“Agh!” I groaned.

“What did I tell you about leaving your fucking unit?” madiin niyang sambit habang kinaladkad ako papasok ng building. Bago kami pumasok sa unit ko, hindi ko naiwasang sulyapan ang nakasarang pinto ni Peter. Fuck, why am I thinking about him right now?

“Ahh!” I shouted when the door slammed shut. Cole pushed me to the floor. “Natagalan lang akong nawala, kung ano-ano na ang ginagawa mo!” Isang malakas na sampal ang natanggap ko.

He grabbed my hair again, dragging me toward the bedroom.

“Cole… stop…” I pleaded. Pakiramdam ko ay makakalbo ako sa higpit ng hawak niya. Pabalibag niya akong binitawan sa kama. Dahil sa lakas ng tulak niya, tumama ang leeg ko sa dulo ng bed frame. I felt dizzy, struggling to breathe. Tears rolled down my face as my vision started to darken.

I was still gasping for air when I felt him undressing me. “Fuck you, Patrice!” he growled, pinning me down by the neck.

“Ahhh… Cole, stop… ahhhh!!!” It wasn’t a moan; it was a scream of agony and broken sobs. Mas lumakas ang iyak ko sa bawat marahas na pagbayo niya. I wasn’t ready for this. I tried to punch him, to fight back, but he just thrust harder.

“FUCK YOU, COLE! I SAID STOP!”

“Ah, lumalaban ka na ngayon?” he said darkly.

“I SAID STOP! FUCK YOU, DEMON ASSHOL—” He silenced me with another slap. I felt my lip burst, my cheek going numb.

“Ako ang demonyo? Sigurado ka ba diyan, Patrice?” He gave me that look—the same look filled with hatred and grief from years ago. “HINDI BA IKAW ANG TOTOONG DEMONYO SA ATIN? HINDI BA IKAW ANG PUMATAY SA KANYA!? DIBA!?”

The words hit me harder than his blows. Everything came rushing back. Ang buong katawan ko ay biglang namanhid. A hollow, black void swallowed my system. I gave up. I stared at the ceiling with empty eyes, letting him do as he pleased.

“IKAW ANG MAY KASALANAN NG LAHAT, PATRICE. TANDAAN MO ’YAN!”

He was right. I was the one to blame. I killed him. I don’t have the right to fight back. I deserve this.

“I’ll take my leave. Be a good girl, devil,” Cole said sarcastically before walking out, leaving me broken and naked on the bed. I wiped my dry tears and drifted into a haunted sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night with a desperate urge to see Peter. Paika-ika akong naglakad sa banyo para maligo at magbihis. I hurried to his door and knocked almost ten times. When he finally opened it, he was rubbing his eyes.

“Wendy?” he asked, surprised.

The moment our eyes met, my resolve crumbled. I reached for him and kissed him desperately, clinging to his neck, needing to feel his warmth.

“Hmm!” He pushed me back slightly to look at my face. I saw his jaw clench as he saw the bruises. “What happened?” he asked, his voice dangerously low.

“Nothing,” I whispered, hiding my face in his chest. I listened to his heartbeat—it was the only thing that felt alive.

He sighed and led me inside to treat my wounds. I saw his eyes darken every time I winced at the touch of the cotton. He was furious, yet he chose to be gentle with me. This kid is really something.

Afterward, he led me to his bed. He lay beside me, holding my hand tightly even with his eyes closed.

“I’m a demon,” I said to the ceiling.

“I don’t care,” his voice was firm.

“I don’t have a heart.”

He just chuckled softly, his eyes still shut. I glanced at his peaceful face and felt a tear sting my eye.

“I killed someone.”

Huminto ang mundo.

The silence in the room became suffocating, heavy with the weight of a secret that could destroy everything. I waited for him to flinch, to pull his hand away in disgust, or to look at me with the same horror I saw in the mirror every day. Pero nanatili siyang tahimik. His breathing didn’t even falter.

“I killed someone, Peter,” ulit ko, my voice cracking this time.

“The blood… it never really washes off. I am a murderer.”

---

Author: Sorry for the errors guys please do bear with me.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN : LET GO

“I don’t have a heart,” I said, my voice hollow, staring at the ceiling. He just chuckled, his eyes still closed.

I glanced at him and forced a small, bitter smile. “I killed someone.”

This time, dahan-dahan niyang iminulat ang mga mata niya. He turned his head and looked at me with a face so serious, it made my heart skip a beat.

I smirked and tried to get up, but he was faster. He pulled me back and pinned me down under him. My eyes widened. “What’s this?”

“Saan ka pupunta?” he asked, his voice low.

“I don’t know,” I answered. I couldn’t look him in the eye. I was terrified of being judged again. I was waiting for the look of disgust, the rejection.

But instead of pulling away, he rested his whole weight on me, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

“I don’t care if you’re a killer, a demon, or a vampire,” he murmured. Napatawa ako nang bahagya sa sinabi niya. It was so stupid, yet so… Peter.

“Just don’t leave me this time.” Agad nawala ang ngiti ko. The raw loneliness in his voice was like a physical ache.

“What?” I whispered.

He took a deep, heavy breath against my skin—isang buntong-hininga na punong-puno ng hinanakit. I waited for him to say something more, but he just started planting soft, wet kisses on my neck. I closed my eyes, my fingers finding the strands of his hair.

“I will wait until you have the courage to tell me everything. I will wait,” he promised.

I stared at the ceiling and smiled sadly. “Will you wait until my death?”

Naramdaman kong natigilan siya. He pulled back to face me, his eyes burning with hurt.

“Ganoon ba ako kawalang-kwenta para hintayin mo pa ang kamatayan mo bago mo ipagkatiwala sa akin ang totoo?”

Those eyes! Don’t look at me like that. Please.

I shut my eyes tight and pushed him away slightly. “You know this doesn’t make sense. Matulog na tayo.”

I pulled him down beside me and wrapped his arm around myself. I just wanted to be locked in his hold, safe from the world outside.

“I will wait. And I will never let you die,” he whispered into the dark.

“I’m already dead inside, Peter,” I answered, my eyes closed, listening to the steady thrum of his heart.

“I will save you.”

“How?” I asked, but there was no answer. Silence took over, and I let his heartbeat lull me into a dreamless sleep.

Kinabukasan, nagising ako sa munting dampi sa aking labi. As I opened my eyes, Peter’s bare face was inches away, wearing a joyful, boyish smile.

I don’t know why, but the light mood and the morning sun hitting my skin felt… right. Matagal na simula noong huli akong nagising nang ganito kapayapaan. I felt a sudden urge to grab his face and kiss him.

Pinanggigilan ko ang labi niya at kinagat iyon nang bahagya.

“Ouch—” he groaned, but we both ended up chuckling. What a good morning.

“Naughty,” he whispered. To my surprise, binuhat niya ako bigla at dinala sa bathroom. He sat me down on the sink, caging me with his arms on both sides of my hips.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Really?” mapang-asar kong sabi.

Peter chuckled and flicked my forehead. “Ouch!”

“Anong ‘really’ ka diyan? Dinala kita rito para gamutin ang mga sugat mo. Kung ano-ano ang iniisip mo,” he teased.

I felt my face heat up. Fuck! What was I expecting? Umagang-umaga, sex agad ang nasa isip mo, Wendy?

I quickly looked away, acting defensive. “I wasn’t talking about sex, no!”

“Hmm, defensive though,” he said with a playful smirk. He reached for my legs and started applying ointment to the bruises.

Sa sobrang hiya, tinakpan ko na lang ang mukha ko habang hinahayaan siyang gamutin ako. After that, he carried me back to bed and went out. My eyes wandered around the room until I saw some papers on the side table.

I crawled over and grabbed them. My heart skipped a beat when I recognized the lyrics. He was the one.

Siya ang artist na napili ng boss para sa bagong kanta ko. I already knew we were in the same industry, but seeing my work in his hands… It felt like fate was playing a game with us.

Narinig ko ang yabag niya kaya mabilis kong ibinalik ang mga papel. He entered with a small breakfast table filled with food. “Let’s eat,” he said, placing it on my lap.

The whole afternoon was filled with laughter. He kept bragging about his lame jokes and cheesy pick-up lines. “Hahaha! Stop it!” I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in years.

Before I knew it, it was already 4:00 PM. He sat beside me and rested his head on my shoulder.

“Thank you,” I whispered suddenly.

He looked at me, his face turning serious but playful. “You’re not welcome.”

“What? Was that supposed to be your ‘welcome’?”

“Artist ako, Wendy. Mahal ang talent fee ko. Kung akala mong sapat na ang ‘thank you’ sa serbisyo ko ngayong araw, nagkakamali ka,” he said.

“What’s the catch?” I smirked.

“Kiss me.”

I didn’t hesitate. I gave him a quick kiss and ran out of his unit, laughing. Pero mabilis niya akong nahabol. Bago ko pa mabuksan ang pinto ng unit ko, nakulong na niya ako sa pader.

“Kulang pa,” he whispered. I laughed and kissed him again.

“Isa pa po,” he pouted like a kid.

I nodded and went in for another sweet, deep kiss. We were making out right there in the hallway. “Limit yourself, kid,” I teased between breaths.

“One last time,” he begged.

“Last,” I promised, wrapping my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.

“Ehem!”

My body froze. That sound—it was like a bucket of ice water poured over my soul. I pulled away from Peter and slowly turned my head toward the source of the voice.

The light seemed to vanish from the hallway. There stood Cole.

His eyes were as dark as the abyss. Terror surged through me instantly, a violent tremor taking over my body. I knew Peter felt it because our hands were still locked together.

I tried to wrench my hand away from Peter’s grip, desperate to create distance before Cole exploded.

“Peter, let go,” I whispered, my voice trembling.

“No.”

“Let go!” I repeated, panic rising in my chest.

“Please… let go, Peter.”

“NO!”

“She said let go, kid,” Cole said, his voice dropping into that terrifying, calm tone that meant someone was about to bleed.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN : JAYCE

“She said let go, kid,” Cole repeated, his voice dropping into a dangerous, icy calm.

Sabay kaming napalingon ni Peter. Cole’s hands were in his pockets, but I could see the tension in his shoulders—he was ready to snap.

“Peter, please let go of me. I’m—” I wasn’t able to finish. Peter suddenly pulled me closer, shielding me behind his back. Walang takot niyang hinarap si Cole, and it terrified me. He was standing up to a monster for me, not knowing that I was a monster, too.

He can’t win against him.

Cole’s jaw clenched, a devilish smirk creeping onto his face while his eyes remained locked on mine. His gaze was a haunting threat, a shadow of the past I couldn’t escape. I avoided his eyes and tried to plead with Peter one last time.

“Peter, let me face him. Please, let go and go back inside your pad,” mahinhin kong sambit. I was trying to sound composed, praying he would see a strength in me that wasn’t there.

He glanced back at me, his eyes burning with a protectiveness I didn’t deserve. “I won’t let him hurt you muli,” he whispered. For a second, my heart skipped a beat, and I felt a flicker of hope. But hope is a dangerous thing for someone like me.

“Patrice.” Cole’s voice broke the moment, sharp as shattered glass.

I looked at Peter, and he was still staring at me with those soft, desperate eyes. I forced a small smile and gave him a quick, lingering kiss—a distraction, and a final goodbye. The moment I felt his grip loosen in surprise, I wrenched my hand free and walked toward Cole. Toward my punishment.

“No!” Peter cried out, his voice echoing in the hallway.

I marched toward the man I feared the most, standing my ground even though my knees were turning into water.

“Acting strong in front of your new lover, I guess,” Cole whispered as I reached him. He reached for my hand, but I flinched away. That was a mistake. Getting pissed off, he grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head back so hard I saw stars.

“Agh!” I groaned.

“How dare you avoid my touc—” Cole didn’t finish. Suddenly, he was flying backward. Peter had landed a massive punch straight to his jaw.

“FUCK YOU!” Peter shouted, lunging at him again.

“No, Peter, stop! Please!” I threw my arms around Peter, hugging him tightly to hold him back. My whole body was trembling. But hugging him was a fatal mistake—it left him open. Cole seized the chance, fighting back with the precision of a trained officer.

He landed a blow that sent Peter crashing against the wall. Cole didn’t stop. He was a police officer, a trained boxer—he was dismantling Peter, breaking the only beautiful thing I had left.

“COLE, STOP! DON’T!” I screamed, throwing myself between them. I almost broke down seeing Peter’s face—bloodied, bruised, and messed up because of me. Everything I touch turns to ash. “STOP IT!”

Cole grabbed me by the waist, pinning me against him with one arm. “Tandaan mo ’to, Patrice,” he whispered hoarsely into my ear, his breath smelling of cigarettes and malice. “Kapag hindi mo tinigilan ang batang ’yan, malalaman niya ang ginawa mo kay Jayce.”

I went cold. My entire body stiffened as if my blood had turned to ice. The name Jayce was like a death sentence. My heart hammered against my ribs so hard it felt fatal, and my knees finally gave out. Cole had to hold me up just so I wouldn’t collapse.

The air left my lungs. All the horror, the blood, and the guilt of the past flooded back. I bit my nails aggressively, trying to ground myself, but the world was spinning.

“Wendy?” I heard Peter call out, his voice weak and broken.

Realization slapped me across the face. I can never be loved. I don’t deserve this boy’s heart. I stood straight, wiping the tears away, letting a cold, emotionless mask settle over my features. Numbness was the only shield I had left.

I coldly brushed Cole’s hand off my waist and faced Peter.

“Wendy, don’t go with him,” he pleaded, reaching out a trembling hand.

“Go to your pad, Peter,” I said, my voice as firm as a grave stone.

“NO! I won’t go anywhere without you!”

“Tsk,” Cole hissed, licking the blood from his lip.

“Peter, go. I’m not coming with you.”

He looked at me in disbelief, his soul bared in his eyes. “Why? Bakit sasama ka ulit sa lalakeng ’yan? Sasaktan ka lang niya, Wendy!”

“No,” I lied, the word tasting like poison.

“ANONG HINDI!? FUCK! Siya ba ang sinasabi mo na nagmamay-ari sa’yo? I don’t care who he is, I can fight for you! Just come with me!”

Our eyes fought—his, filled with a begging love; mine, forced to stay empty. Paika-ika siyang lumapit at hinawakan ang kamay ko. He pressed it against his bruised face, his tears wetting my skin. He was begging me to stay, but I was staying to keep him alive.

I looked at him one last time before pulling my hand back, feeling the ghost of his warmth vanish.

“Please,” he whispered, a sound of total surrender.

“Let go, kid!” I snapped, my voice cracking under the weight of the lie.

I turned my back on him. “Are you not falling?” he asked, his voice so small it broke my heart into a million pieces.

I let out a bitter, hollow chuckle. “No. And never, kid.”

I walked toward my unit with Cole. As the door began to swing shut, I saw Peter just standing there, staring at the floor, a broken boy in a hallway that felt like a funeral home. I’m sorry, Peter. You’re the light, and I’m just the shadow that will drown you.

The moment the door locked, a massive slap sent me reeling. “So, you’re scared the kid will know about your past!” Cole roared. He lifted me by the throat, slamming me against the wall.

“Ahh!” I choked, clawing at his hand as my lungs screamed for air.

“Bitch! Pagkatapos mong gawin ’yun kay Jayce, may lakas ka pa ng loob makipag-relasyon? Ano kayang gagawin ng batang ’yan pag nalaman niya ang katotohanan?”

“I won’t… hurt him… I won’t ever do it again,” I managed to gasp out. I would endure anything to keep Peter’s memory of me clean.

“TALAGA, PATRICE!? PERO BAKIT MO GINAWA KAY JAYCE!?” He tightened his grip until my vision started to flicker. “Ano, mamatay ka na ba? Hindi pa pwede. Kulang ang kamatayan sa ginawa mo!”

He threw me onto the floor and kicked me hard in the stomach. I curled into a ball, shaking and weak. Tears blurred my vision as I lay there, a discarded thing.

“I loved Jayce,” I whispered into the cold floor tiles.

“LOVE? SINONG NILOKO MO? KUNG MAHAL MO SI JAYCE, HINDI MO SIYA PAPATAYIN!”

Cole’s anger was a living thing, a fire fueled by my own guilt. I hugged my knees, the numbness finally taking over, welcoming the darkness.

“I’m s-sorry,” I whispered to the silence of the room.

Sorry, Jayce. Sorry that I’m still breathing while you’re not. Sorry, Peter… for making you love a ghost.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN : WHY DID YOU DO IT?

CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains sensitive themes, including depictions of self-harm and trauma, which may be distressing for some readers. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

---

“Isa, Jayce! Hahaha… Stop it! Ano ba!” I couldn’t stop squirming, trying to push him away as he relentlessly tickled my waist.

“Isa? What?” he playfully teased, his eyes glimmering with a light I thought would never fade.

I gave one final, hard shove and ran, but he was too fast. Mabilis niya akong nahabol, and I couldn’t help but scream and laugh as he swept me off my feet.

We lost our balance, falling together onto the dressing room floor. The room was filled with the sound of our shared joy.

He pulled me into a tight embrace, planting soft, lingering kisses on my cheeks—each one felt like a promise.

Humarap ako sa kanya at niyakap siya nang sobrang higpit. My heart was thumping so fast, exploding with a happiness so pure it felt like I was finally complete.

“I love you,” I whispered, closing my eyes and pressing my ear against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.

He chuckled, his hand stroking my hair with a tenderness that made me melt.

“I love you more, Pat,” he whispered back, kissing my forehead. He was my other half. My peace. My heart.

“I love you,” I repeated, a permanent smile etched on my lips.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…” he chanted like a prayer, rolling us over until he was hovering above me.

I looked up at his handsome face, my soul bared. “I love you too!” I shouted, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him down for a kiss.

“Hmuah!” I teased. He just smiled, fixing a stray strand of my hair, his gaze full of a future we were supposed to have.

Suddenly, the door swung open. It was Cole. He scowled at our position, though his eyes lacked real malice.

“Wtf, lovers! May gig tayo!” he shouted. Jayce and I scrambled to stand up, laughing as we fixed ourselves. Jayce walked over to Cole, ruffling his younger brother’s hair.

“My little brother is jealous!” Jayce teased.

“Tigilan mo nga ako! Mag-ready na kayo!” iritang sambit ni Cole, pero alam naming nagbibiro lang siya.

That night, the atmosphere was electric. “Let’s all welcome, Neverland Band!”

The roar of the crowd at the university field was deafening. Jayce and I exchanged a look—pure adrenaline. He did a quick fist bump with Cole before we stepped out under the lights.

But beneath the music, the tension from our argument earlier that day still lingered.

Habang inaayos ang mga instrumento, Jayce leaned in and whispered something about the band’s future—about how he’d fix everything for me.

“I wasn’t asking you to do that!” I snapped, frustrated.

“Kahit hindi mo sabihin, gagawin ko, Patrice!”

I ran my hands through my hair, my temper flaring. I was tired of the sacrifices, tired of feeling like I was the reason the band was falling apart.

I grabbed my bag, my voice cold. “You know what? Fuck this! Let’s not talk about it. Just fix yourself.”

“You know I will do anything for you, Patrice!” he called out as I turned my back.

I stopped and looked back at him, a bitter, sarcastic smirk on my face. “Then, will you die for me, then?” I joked darkly, letting out a hollow chuckle before walking out of the room.

I didn’t see his face. I didn’t see his eyes.

I went home and buried myself in my music. I played until my fingers bled, eventually falling asleep over a half-finished song.

The next morning, I woke up with a clear head. I wanted to fix everything. I wanted to tell him I didn’t mean it.

Mabilis akong tumakbo palabas at sumakay ng taxi papunta sa condo ni Jayce, dala ang kantang isinulat ko para sa kanya. I had a wide smile on my face as I stood before his door.

“Jayce?” I called out as I entered.

The unit was dark. The air was heavy with the smell of stale beer. Empty bottles were scattered everywhere—isang magulong eksena na nagpabilis ng kabog ng dibdib ko.

“Jayce!” I called again, heading toward his bedroom. “Jay—”

The world stopped.

My legs turned to lead. My lungs seized, refusing to take in air. I dropped my bag, the papers scattering like dead leaves.

My heart didn’t just break; it shattered into a million jagged pieces.

I couldn’t even blink. I could only look at him.

Jayce was hanging. A rope was tied around his neck. He wasn’t breathing. His eyes, once so full of life, were closed forever.

I stood there, paralyzed. It felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly in the chest, but I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t move.

There was only pain and a terrifying, bone-deep numbness. I couldn’t take my eyes off his pale, lifeless lips.

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I can’t.

Then, a sentence echoed in my mind, screaming louder than the silence: “You know that I will do anything for you, Patrice!” “Then, will you die for me, then?”

“Ha…” A broken breath escaped me. Tears began to fall, one by one, hitting the floor like lead.

“No,” I whispered, shaking my head violently. I tried to slap myself, desperate to wake up from this nightmare. “No, no, no!”

But I was awake. And he was gone.

Nanghihina akong napaluhod, staring at him through a veil of tears. “You jerk…” I whispered, bowing my head as the weight of the guilt crushed me. “Why did you do it? Why?”

“Jayce? Asan ka? Hinahanap ka nila Ma—”

Naramdaman ko ang pagtigil ni Cole sa tabi ko. The silence that followed was the most painful thing I had ever heard. Then, the explosion of grief.

“JAYCE!” Cole scrambled, grabbing a chair, his face contorted in a mask of pure terror as he tried to cut him down. “Jayce! Hey, wake up! Jayce!”

My eyes caught a small piece of paper on the floor, tucked between the empty bottles. I picked it up with trembling fingers.

I will do it for you. I love you, Pat.

“AHHH!!!” I screamed, a raw, primal sound that tore through my throat. I crumpled the paper against my chest. “AHHH!”

“JAYCE!”

Mabilis akong napaupo sa pagkakahiga. I was gasping for air, my face drenched in sweat and tears. My chest felt tight, the phantom pain of the rope and the guilt still there.

That dream. That nightmare. That final, horrific goodbye.

I curled into a ball, hugging my knees as I shook uncontrollably in the dark.

“Jayce…” I whispered into the empty room.

“Jayce.”

*** 

Author: that was a flashback. and turns out Wendy’s dream too.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN : I’M SCARED

“Jayce,” I whispered, sinking back into the mattress. But the moment I reached for my phone, a sharp, searing pain shot through my side, stealing my breath.

I forced myself upright, moving in slow, calculated increments. When I lifted my shirt to check the damage, a massive, livid bruise stared back at me—mottled purple and angry red where the blood had pooled beneath the skin.

It looked small, but even the slightest graze of my fingertips sent a jolt of agony through my nerves. It was a grim souvenir from Cole’s boot last night.

Cole wasn’t like this in high school. He wasn’t this man in college. But in a single heartbeat, everything between us had shattered into something unrecognizable.

I bit my thumbnail, bracing myself as I stood up. Every inch of my skin felt like it was being pulled apart; every bruise and open wound protested the movement.

I dragged myself to the bathroom, desperate for the water to wash away the heaviness, but even as the droplets hit me, I felt like I was burning from the inside out.

Afterward, I retreated to the shadows of my room. I lit a cigarette, the ember glowing faintly as I stared at the ceiling.

Anesthesia had set in—not the kind that heals, but the kind that hollows you out. I felt anxious, yet strangely numb. Everything was dark, and I found myself drifting in a void where people and noise didn’t exist.

It was a vast, crushing silence. The kind of silence that rings in your ears until it becomes deafening. My hands shook, a rhythmic tremor I could barely control, so I simply closed my eyes and let the smoke fill the emptiness.

“Wendy?”

Napamulat ang aking mga mata nang marinig ko ang boses mula sa labas ng silid. I slowly stood up and walked toward the door, bawat hakbang ay ramdam ko ang bigat ng aking katawan.

“Wendy, alam kong andyan ka. Please, let me see you.”

That voice. It was Peter. Nasa labas siya ng unit ko, and his voice was thick with longing and sadness. I could feel his pain through the door, pero agad na tumanggi ang puso at isipan ko. My mind said no.

“Are you hurt? May masakit ba sa iyo?” He kept talking kahit hindi ko siya sinasagot.

I smirked bitterly. Hurt? Natawa ako nang mahina at bumuga ng usok bago tinalikuran ang pinto. I went back inside my room and locked myself in the bathroom.

“Wendy, please let me see you. Please!” Naririnig ko pa rin siya, kaya mas lalo akong nagkulong sa loob.

“Please, I need to see you. I don’t believe what you said last night. I know you didn’t mean it—I can feel it.” Patuloy pa rin ang boses niya at nagsisimula na akong mairita. It was getting under my skin.

Binuksan ko ang shower at hinayaang umagos ang tubig sa bathtub. I needed the noise to drown out his voice.

“Wendy, I like you. No… I love you. Please, let me heal you.”

I tightly covered my ears, desperate to block him out. “No, no, no, no,” I mumbled to myself.

“Wendy, please.”

“No!” I shouted.

Sumampa ako sa bathtub at hinayaang mabasa ng shower. I let the water soak through my clothes while the tub slowly filled up. Niyakap ko ang aking mga tuhod at yumuko, trying to hide from everything. I didn’t want to hear anything from him.

“Wendy.”

“No. No. No!”

I kept mumbling, but his voice was still there, piercing through the sound of the water. In a final attempt to find peace, I lay back in the bathtub at tuluyang lumubog sa tubig.

And then, nothing. Wala na ang boses niya. I closed my eyes and tried to find sleep in the cold, deafening silence underneath the water.

---

“Anong ginawa mo sa anak ko, Patrice?! Anong ginawa mo?!”

Isang malakas na sigaw at sampal ang sumalubong sa akin pagkaharap ko sa Mama ni Jayce. Her eyes were burning with a mixture of raw anger and unbearable sadness.

I just stood there crying, unable to find my voice. Kahit ang hapdi ng sampal niya ay hindi ko naramdaman—I was too numb to feel anything at that moment.

My eyes were locked on Jayce’s peaceful body lying in that coffin. I never imagined it would end this way.

“Bakit mo ginawa iyon?! You know how much my son loved you! He would have done anything for you, tapos hihilingin mo lang na patayin niya ang sarili niya?! Baliw ka ba? Tao ka pa ba, Patrice?! Minahal ka ng anak ko!”

Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang sampal pa ang natanggap ko mula kay Tita, but I just kept staring at Jayce. How can you sleep so peacefully there? Bakit mo ako iniwan nang ganito? I had so many questions, but I knew the silence from that casket was the only answer I’d ever get.

“Now my son is gone because of you! Napakamakasarili mo, Patrice!” One last slap sent me sprawling on the floor.

Nang muntik nang mahimatay si Tita, agad siyang sinalo ni Tito. “Take her out of here!” he barked.

Nagising ang diwa ko sa utos na iyon. “No, no, no!” I whispered, trying to scramble back toward Jayce’s coffin, but Cole grabbed my arms in a crushing grip.

“No, please! Cole, no… please!” I struggled, but he was too strong. He started dragging me away from the only person I wanted to be with.

“No, Cole! Jayce!” I screamed. The guests started to stare, and the scene was becoming a scandal, kaya mas lalong hinigpitan ni Cole ang hila sa akin.

“Fuck, Patrice!” he cursed under his breath, dragging me out of the funeral hall.

“No! Please, let me stay with Jayce!” I wailed. But then, everything went still. I froze when I saw Tito—Jayce and Cole’s father—point a gun directly at me.

“Wanna be with my son? Then die with him!”

I stared at the barrel of the gun, paralyzed. Cole took that chance to forcefully pull me out of the room. Tulala akong nagpatangay sa kanya, let the tears blur my vision. “Jayce…” I whispered one last time.

“Ah!” I groaned nang itulak ako nang malakas ni Cole pagdating sa labas.

“Hindi sapat ang kamatayan sa ginawa mo sa kuya ko!” His voice was dripping with pure venom.

“Cole…” I tried to reach out, but the man standing in front of me was a stranger. Gone was the boy I used to know.

“Habang buhay ka dapat magdusa kapalit ng ginawa mo!” He grabbed my wrist and dragged me away from their house, heading straight to a nearby motel.

I was barely conscious of my surroundings until a heavy blow to my stomach brought me back to reality. My knees buckled, and I fell, gasping for air from the force of his punch.

“Ang gusto lang ni Kuya, gawin ang ikakasaya mo. Pero anong ginawa mo, Patrice?!” He grabbed my chin and yanked me up by my hair.

“I didn’t mean it… I didn’t wa—agh!” He slapped me hard across the face and shoved me onto the bed.

“Ipapararanas ko sa iyo ang sakit na ginawa mo sa kuya ko. I will make sure you regret this for the rest of your life!”

Fear finally clawed its way into my chest when he began to undress me. “No, Cole, please! Don’t do this!” I begged, pushing him with whatever strength I had left.

“Hindi sapat na patayin kita. Sisirain ko ang buhay mo. Pandidirihan mo ang sarili mo! Gugustihin mong mamatay pero hindi mo magagawa dahil takot kang makaharap ang taong pinatay mo! Kukunin ko ang lahat sa iyo, Patrice!” He shouted, pinning me down despite my desperate struggles.

“No! Please, Cole! Wag!” I screamed.

“Wag!”

Muli akong sumigaw at napamulat sa ilalim ng tubig. Agad akong bumangon mula sa pagkakalubog sa bathtub, gasping and heaving as I tried to catch my breath. I was shaking violently. I almost killed myself in that water.

“Wendy, I’m here. Please, don’t be scared.”

I stiffened. Peter’s voice was still there, muffled by the bathroom door. I let out a long, shuddering sigh and smiled bitterly through my tears.

“I’m scared,” I whispered to the empty room, before letting out a broken, agonizing cry. “Ahh!”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN : USING YOU

Days passed by. Simula nang gabing iyon, hindi na nagparamdam si Cole. But Peter never stopped bugging me.

Every night, he would leave meals in front of my door. Walang araw na hindi niya ako kinakamusta mula sa labas, never stopping even though he never got a response.

He always begged to see me, but I never granted it.

Nanatili lang akong nakakulong—sleeping and smoking my life away. I never treated my bruises and wounds, but now they were starting to heal on their own. Siguro ang mismong mga sugat na ang sumuko sa akin.

What can I do? Hindi ko naman kasi maramdaman ang sakit. I can see the purple marks, but I feel nothing.

Simula rin noon, hindi na ako nakatulog nang hindi napapanaginipan si Jayce. In one of those dreams, he was laughing with Peter.

Same smile, same expressions, same warmth. I wanted to run and hug them, kahit sa panaginip lang, pero tuwing susubukan ko silang abutin, bigla silang naglalaho.

Deep down, I knew I wanted to reach for Peter. Gusto ko ulit maramdamang ligtas ako sa mga bisig niya. I wanted to smile with him again.

Pero naaalala ko ang sinabi ni Cole—I will just destroy his life. Kamumuhian niya ako kapag nalaman niya ang ginawa ko kay Jayce.

He will never love a killer.

I don’t want to lose him, too. Though, in the first place, he was never mine to begin with. I don’t have the right to own anyone. I’m nothing but useless trash.

Nabubuhay na lang ako para pagbayaran ang mga kasalanan ko. I bit my lower lip to stop the tears and pinched my own skin. I have no right to cry. This was all my fault. Tama si Cole, I will never be worth anything.

“Jayce,” I whispered, staring at the dark night sky.

“I miss you.” Napaluhod ako at isinandal ang ulo sa gilid ng kama, closing my eyes tight.

Knock. Knock.

I raised my head and glanced at the door. It’s him again.

“Wendy? Are you awake? Did you eat already? May dala akong dinner.”

Walang buhay akong tumayo at lumabas ng silid. I stood right behind the door, listening to him.

“Okay ka lang ba diyan? Magaling na ba ang mga sugat mo? Ginamit mo ba ang mga binigay kong gamot?” Bakas sa boses niya ang pagod at lungkot.

I leaned my back against the door and slowly slid down until I was sitting on the floor.

“I’m not sure if you can hear me, but I want to talk to you. Haha, nagbabakasakali lang na lalabas ka at masisilayan ko muli ang mukha mo.” His voice sounded so weak.

“Alam mo ba, kakarelease lang kanina ng music video ko.” I knew. My manager texted me earlier and sent the link. Ang dalawang kantang isinulat ko para sa kanya, siya rin ang kumanta. If he only knew who I really am.

I heard him chuckle bitterly. “I miss you, fuck! Maybe I’m an idiot like what Empress says, but I don’t care. Like what I’ve said, if this wasn’t right, then let’s be wrong forever.”

I smiled weakly, remembering him whispering those same words while we were together. He continued talking until he finally said goodbye and went back into his pad. I remained on the floor, biting my nails and humming.

I just realized that the songs I wrote were all about us. The lyrics were a plea to be free with him. All this time, I was subconsciously hoping he would save me. I smirked and lay on the cold floor, humming myself to sleep.

Nagising ako kinabukasan ng 10:30 AM. When I opened the door, I saw two large paper bags filled with goods.

Tinignan ko lang iyon at sinarado muli ang pinto. I took a shower and drank beer. The whole day, I just listened to music until I decided to go to the rooftop to smoke and get some air.

I stayed there for half an hour until it got dark. Paalis na sana ako nang biglang may humawak sa braso ko.

“Wendy,” paos na sambit niya. He looked at me with eyes full of longing.

I stared at him, breathless. He suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace. “At last…” The way he said it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from him. But I couldn’t hug him back. I felt numb again.

He pulled away to check my face, staring at my wounds and bruises. He was sighing heavily, and suddenly, tears started falling from his eyes. He was crying while touching my face. “I thought I wouldn’t ever see you again. I was so worried,” he whispered.

I just stared. I wanted to hug him, but my mind was screaming the opposite. You will just hurt him, Patrice.

I pushed him away. “Diba sinabi ko na sa iyo na tigilan mo ako?” I asked firmly.

He looked shocked, but he quickly tried to reach for my hand. “No, I know you’re lying.”

I stepped back and slapped him. “Wake up, kid! I was just using you!”

“I love you,” he said, reaching for me again. For the second time, I slapped him.

“I said stop! Hindi kita mahal! Ginamit lang kita for my convenience!” I shouted, my hands starting to tremble.

I smirked, masking my pain with malice. “Really? Ito ba ang gusto mo?”

In an act of desperation and self-destruction, I did the one thing that would make him stop. I started tearing at my own clothes, exposing the scars and the shame.

“This is what you want, right?! Here, I’m giving it to you! Happy?!” I screamed, the sound echoing through the cold night air.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN : PETER

“Really?”

I smirked devilishly before pushing him inside his pad and locking the door. I faced him and, without a second thought, quickly undressed. I was only wearing an oversized silk white polo and jeans, so it only took a second for everything to hit the floor.

Peter stiffened. I saw how his eyes widened in shock, paralyzed by what I was doing.

I grabbed his nape and forced him into a torrid, desperate kiss. He struggled, trying to push me away in the gentlest way possible, but I persisted. I was forcing myself on him, my hands reaching to tear his shirt off. But when he realized my intent, he used his strength to finally shove me back.

Nagpumiglas ako at pilit muling lumapit sa kanya, but this time, he wouldn’t let me. “Wendy!” he shouted, his voice echoing, trying to bring me back to my senses.

I didn’t listen. I kept lunging for him, forcing my lips onto his.

“Wendy, ano ba!” he roared.

I stopped. I stood there, trembling and exposed. “This is what you want, right? Here! I’m giving it to you! Happy?!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

He froze. He looked at me with eyes that softened not with lust, but with agonizing pain. Unti-unti niyang binitiwan ang braso ko at dahan-dahang yumuko. He bowed his head so I couldn’t see his face, but I felt the air grow heavy when he started to chuckle—a dry, broken sound. His shoulders began to shake.

I saw his tears hit the floor. He knelt down to pick up my polo shirt and faced me. His face was a wreck—crying yet smiling at the same time. He reached out and started putting my shirt back on me. Habang binubutones niya ang polo ko, I just stood there, staring at him. He was sobbing, trying so hard to control his breathing.

I was stiff, looking at him; I didn’t know what to feel. I felt the sharp sting of pain seeing him crash into pieces, but I felt paralyzed. I’m useless. I’m nothing but a living vessel of pain.

After dressing me up, pinahid niya ang kanyang mga luha at pilit na ngumiti. He fixed himself before reaching for my hands. His grip was gentle, soft, and filled with a kind of love that my broken body couldn’t accept.

We stared at each other for a long time before he whispered, “Sorry.”

Hindi ko maintindihan. Bakit siya ang nagso-sorry?

“Sorry if I made you feel like that’s the reason why I love you. Na iyan lang ang habol ko sa iyo.” He rubbed his head and let out an awkward, painful laugh. I waited for his next words, but the silence felt like a death sentence.

“That’s not what I meant. I was chasing you because I fell for you since the first night we met on the rooftop. I was in a big mess with my family, so I chose to live here. That night, I was so down and I wanted someone to comfort me… but then I saw you. You looked so lost, and it made me feel like I needed to save you. I wanted to protect you, to make you feel complete again. Pero mali yata ako.”

He let out a shaky breath. “I kept believing that you were falling for me too, hoping I could fix your broken heart. Pero siguro, kahit anong gawin ko, bata pa rin ang tingin mo sa akin. And even if you say you just used me… I’m okay with that. I was willing to be your toy just to be with you. But if being with me will only cause you pain, then I will let go.”

He let go of my hands and reached for the door behind me. He opened it. I was right—his next words hurt more than any slap.

I felt a crushing weight in my chest as I watched him stand by the open door. Diba ito ang gusto ko? Ang tigilan niya ako?

I nodded, my throat tight, and started to walk out. But as I stepped past the threshold, I suddenly felt his arms wrap around me from behind.

He hugged me tight, resting his head on my shoulder as he wept silently. I closed my eyes, a bitter smile forming on my lips. Such a baby.

“You’re so unfair,” he whispered between sobs. “I still want to fight, but you’re kicking me out of the battlefield.”

His words hit me so hard I couldn’t breathe. I reached for his hands around my waist and slowly pried them off. As soon as I was free, I practically ran into my unit and slammed the door shut.

I leaned against the wood, and finally, the tears I was holding back came rushing out. I started punching my chest repeatedly because it hurt so much. “Agh!” I groaned, trying to beat the pain out of my heart.

Nahihirapan akong huminga. My whole body felt weak, as if the life was being drained out of me. I hate myself. Fuck!

I stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Sa sobrang pagmamadali, nasugatan ko pa ang daliri ko, but I didn’t care. I aggressively downed the bottle, hoping the alcohol would drown the guilt.

That night, nilunod ko ang sarili ko sa alak hanggang sa mawala ang sakit. But I was wrong. Hindi ito nawala. I woke up with my face stained with tears, only to start drinking again. I spent hours in the bathroom, submerged in the water, trying to find that “loud silence” again. I smoked, stared at the ceiling, and bit my nails until they bled.

Anxiety attacked me for a whole week. Since that night, Peter’s presence completely vanished. Hindi ko na siya nakikita sa hallway. Hindi ko na naririnig ang boses niya sa labas.

I could only see him on my laptop screen—singing the songs I wrote, rising as a star, a famous model and singer. I watched his videos over and over, and every time, I found myself crying.

I wasn’t crying because of Jayce anymore. I was crying for him.

“Peter…”

CHAPTER NINETEEN : LOVE HER

EMPRESS

“Hey, bakit nakaupo ka pa rin diyan? It’s already lunchtime, tapos na ang shoot! Bakit hindi ka pa nagpapalit?” Nilapitan ko siya habang dala ang aking bag at kape.

Kakatapos lang ng photoshoot namin for some well-known brands, but Royce—o Peter, as he’s known now—was still sitting on the set, staring intently at his phone.

“What’s that?” I asked. Agad niyang ibinulsa ang phone niya at tumingin sa akin with a fake smile.

I saw him staring at some pictures, pero hindi ko malinaw na nakita dahil wala ang contact lenses ko. “Wala,” he answered briefly. Tumayo siya at nagsimulang magligpit, pero hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko sa kanya.

I knew it. I could feel it since last week—may mali sa kanya. He’s been too focused, too serious. Hindi naman masama ang maging hardworking, but I know him. There’s something bothering him, and I will find out what it is.

“Hey, let’s eat lunch at the rooftop,” seryoso kong sabi. He glanced at me, confused, but I just turned my back and headed straight to the studio rooftop.

Buti na lang at nagdala na ako ng pagkain. We seated ourselves at the garden area. It wasn’t too hot, and the breeze was nice, but Peter was clearly somewhere else. Ang lalim ng iniisip niya, and it’s really starting to bother me.

I put my arms on the table and looked him straight in the eye. “Tell me everything. Ano bang problema mo?”

He sighed, facing the bright sky before forcing another smile. Pagharap niya sa akin, bumitaw na siya ng salita. “Wendy,” he said.

Wendy? The name sounded familiar. “Wait, is that…”

“The woman you saw in my pad last time,” he said. Seryoso lang siyang nakatingin sa akin, but I could see the raw pain in his eyes.

“What happened to her?” I asked, taking a bite of my food.

“I love her.” Hindi ako nagulat. I expected it. Sa tagal naming magkakilala, alam ko kung kailan siya seryoso. That night when he avoided my questions about her, I already knew.

I took a deep breath and listened. “She was someone I wanted to own, but I can’t. And I won’t ever have her,” he said, his voice dripping with sorrow. “She wanted me out of her life. Sabi niya ginamit lang niya ako, but I don’t believe her. I know she’s in deep pain and I want to save her, but she won’t let me. Last week, I gave up… but now, I’m regretting it. Every night, I can hear her suffer because of that man, and it’s fucking killing me.”

This time, I was shocked. “Man? May ibang lalaki?”

“There’s this man who always hurts her. Pakiramdam ko locked up siya, being punished by that guy, and she’s just letting him do it.”

“Wait, you mean… she’s being abused?” I gasped, covering my mouth. That woman I saw? She looked so tough and brave. Bakit siya nagpapa-abuso?

“Yes.”

“Oh my gosh.” I leaned back in my chair. “You know what, Peter? Kung gusto niya na lumayo ka, let her be. Maybe she’s pushing you away because she doesn’t want you involved in her messy life.”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing,” he whispered, staring blankly at his meal.

Ano ba talaga ang kwento ng babaeng iyon?

---

WENDY

“Fucking shit, Patrice! Buksan mo ito! Sisirain ko ang pintong ito!”

I covered my ears and pressed myself harder into the corner of the bathroom. Cole was outside. I didn’t want to see him. Binugbog niya ako kagabi, and I was still too weak to even stand. My wounds were still fresh.

Bang! Bang! Nanginginig ako sa bawat malakas na hampas niya sa pinto. “Fuck this! Patrice, buksan mo ito!”

My whole body was trembling. I was biting my lip so hard that I started to taste blood. My nails were digging into my skin near my ears, creating new bruises, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him to go away.

“Pag hindi mo ito binuksan, Patrice, hindi mo gugustuhin ang mangyayari sa iyo! I might really kill you this time!”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted silence. “Patrice!” No. “Patrice!” Hindi.

“Patrice, I’m telling you, if you don’t open this—”

Biglang naputol ang sigaw niya nang may magsalita sa labas.

“Mister, I’m sorry, but you are making a scene. Naabala na ang ibang residents. Please leave and just come back some other day. Maraming bata rito na natutulog na. I see you’re a police officer; I was hoping you’d understand. Please leave.” It was one of my neighbors.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, for the trouble. Aalis na ako.” Cole’s voice was suddenly polite and professional. After a few moments, I heard his footsteps fade away. He was gone.

Doon lang ako nakahinga nang maluwag. I leaned my head against the cold wall and stayed there until exhaustion took over.

“Patrice.”

That voice.

I opened my eyes and found myself standing in a field of white roses. Everything was so bright, so light. I looked around, confused, until I heard it again.

“Patrice.”

I followed the sound. I turned to my left, and there, standing amidst the white petals, was him.

“J-Jayce…”

CHAPTER TWENTY : FORGIVENESS

“Jayce.”

He was standing right in front of me, wearing a white polo and pants. His aura was so bright, it was almost blinding. My heart hammered against my ribs—after a long, agonizing year, ngayon ko lang siya muling nakita. I ran to him with every ounce of strength I had and hugged him so tight, fearing he might vanish if I let go.

“Jayce…” My voice cracked. Tears burst from my eyes as I buried my face in his chest. It felt so real. Hindi ko na siya bibitiwan, not this time.

He chuckled softly and patted my head, just like he used to. I closed my eyes, absorbing his scent, his warmth. My heart was pounding, but the rhythm felt different—it felt like it was finally beginning to heal.

“Patrice.”

My whole body trembled when he said my name. It gave me goosebumps that traveled down to my soul. He cupped my face with both hands, lifting my chin so he could look at me. He gave me the brightest, most beautiful smile.

The same smile that made me go blind for love back then. He was the reason I became a better person, yet I was the reason he took his own life.

I’m nothing but a worthless demon…

Realization hit me like a cold wave. I tried to pull away, stepping back in shame, but he reached for me again. He gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear and wiped my tears. He nodded at me, his eyes full of peace.

“I love you,” he whispered.

I froze. My eyes widened in disbelief. He smiled again, then shyly rubbed his nape and looked down. “Sorry,” he added softly.

Nanghina ang mga tuhod ko. I collapsed to my knees, covering my face as I sobbed uncontrollably. Hearing those words made me feel so small, so broken. All my life, I’ve been begging for forgiveness, drowning in the guilt of what I did to him. And now, here he was, saying sorry to me.

“S-sorry… sorry… Jayce, sorry…” I couldn’t even form the words properly. I was gasping for air, my chest feeling like it was being crushed by a ton of lead.

He kneeled in front of me and made me face him again. He leaned in and gently kissed my eyes, his touch warm and calming. “Shhhhh.”

“It’s all my fault, Jayce. I’m the one to blame. I was so selfish, so self-centered… I didn’t think about how you felt. I’m a worthless girl. Hindi kita deserve. Dapat ako ang nasa lugar mo ngayon. I don’t deserve to live! I want to di—”

He placed a finger on my lips to silence me.

“You are worth everything, Pat. You are priceless. You are worth loving,” he said calmly, pulling me into a final, comforting hug. “Everything that happened wasn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself anymore. I did that because I was immature, and this was my fate.”

“But everybody says it’s my fault! Sinisisi nila ako, Jayce! No one helped me… I was left all alone. Wala na akong iba kundi ikaw!” I cried harder, the pain radiating through my entire system.

He tightened his grip on me. “I’m sorry, Pat. Please… patawarin mo na ang sarili mo. You don’t deserve this suffering.”

I just sobbed into his shoulder, feeling the weight slowly lift.

“Please be free, my Pat. Stand up and free yourself. I love you, and I want you to be happy. Be free with him.”

Natigilan ako. I pulled back and looked at him, searching his eyes. He was smiling genuinely. Sino ang tinutukoy niya?

“Peter. Be happy with him, Pat. Please, let go of me now. See me as your angel, not the burden of your life. Free yourself.”

My eyes widened as a brilliant, white light began to envelop his body. He was fading.

“No! Jayce, no!”

I tried to grab his hands, but my fingers just passed through the light. “No! Please!” I tried everything to hold on, but he was slowly dissolving into the brightness. “Jayce, don’t leave me! Jayce!”

I ran toward the light, but I stumbled and fell—and then, I was awake.

I was still in the bathroom, lying on the cold floor. My face was soaked with tears. I stood up, feeling drained but strangely… light. For the first time in a long time, my chest didn’t feel like it was collapsing.

Instead of beer, I reached for a glass of milk in the kitchen. I stayed on the couch, listening to music, until the memory of Jayce’s grave pulled at my heart. Ever since he died, I was forbidden from visiting him. His family made sure of that.

I took a shower and dressed in an oversized white silk polo, black jeans, and a large black hoodie to hide myself. I put on simple heels and headed out.

Paglabas ko, nadatnan ko ang pinto ni Peter. It was locked—siguro nasa trabaho na siya. A wave of longing hit me just by looking at his door, but I took a deep breath and kept walking.

I took a cab to the cemetery. As I approached Jayce’s grave, my heart skipped a beat. I saw someone sitting there.

It was Cole.

I quickly hid behind a large tombstone, watching him. My breath hitched when I realized he was crying. Cole—the man who had been my living nightmare—was sobbing in front of his brother’s grave.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. Please forgive me,” Cole whispered, his voice broken. “I don’t want to destroy her, Kuya. I know you loved her so much, and yet here I am, making her life miserable. Ako dapat ang mag-aalaga sa kanya, pero ako pa ang sumisira sa kanya. What can I do? It hurts so much, Kuya.”

I gasped, covering my mouth to stay silent.

“Every time I see her, bumabalik lahat ng ala-ala mo, and I end up hurting her. I don’t want to be like this forever. Pero wala na akong matakbuhan. Ikaw lang ang naniwala sa akin buong buhay ko. Even Mom and Dad… they blame me too. Sabi nila, kung hindi raw ako nakipag-away noong araw na iyon, sana napuntahan ka nila bago ka nawala. Hindi lang si Patrice ang sinisisi nila, Kuya… ako din.”

Nahirapan akong huminga. I never knew.

“Wala na akong pamilya. I’m living in the police station storage room dahil lahat ng sweldo ko, kinukuha nila Mom. I have nothing left, Kuya. Nothing.”

My heart shattered for the man I thought I hated. I couldn’t stay hidden anymore. The forgiveness Jayce gave me in my dream… it needed to be shared.

“Cole,” I uttered his name, my voice trembling.

He whipped his head around, his eyes wide with shock and fear.

“Patrice!”

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE : PATRICE

“Patrice!”

Ang mukha niya ay mababakas ang labis na gulat. Our eyes met, and in a moment like this, I would usually be trembling in fear. But not today. I was shaking, yes, but it was because of the tears and the weight of the truth I just heard. My heart ached for him—not because of the bruises he gave me, but because of the silent war he had been fighting alone.

Mabilis niyang pinunasan ang kanyang mga luha at naglakad palapit sa akin. I stiffened as he glared at me, his hand twitching as if he was about to slap me. But he stopped. He forced his hand down, his knuckles white from the tension.

Mas lalo akong naiyak sa nakita ko. I just wanted to hold him.

He avoided my gaze, taking sharp, deep breaths to compose himself. I slowly walked toward him until I was close enough to reach out. I wrapped my arms around him in a slow, careful hug. At first, he was stiff, resistant.

“Bitawan mo ako!” he hissed, his voice trembling as he fought back a fresh wave of tears.

I didn’t let go. I buried my face in his chest and listened to his heartbeat. “Shh,” I whispered. Being in his arms felt like hugging a ghost of Jayce. After hearing his confession to the grave, the fear I had for Cole vanished.

In an instant, every blow, every harsh word he had thrown at me seemed to fade. I understood him now. I understood that his anger was just a mask for a soul that was just as broken as mine.

Suddenly, a memory flickered in my mind…

“Hey, again, again! Haha!” I was laughing while trying to restart our new song. Jayce was just chuckling along with me.

“Paano tayo sisikat niyan kung bawat tugtog, tinatawanan mo ang mukha ko?” he joked.

“No, you’re making faces kaya hindi ko mapigilang mag-distract!” I countered, strumming my guitar again.

“Dinner is ready,” Jayce’s mom popped her head in, smiling warmly.

“Sunod kami, Mom,” Jayce answered gently before Tita left us. We were in his room, fresh from school, lost in our music.

“Let’s just start again later and—” The door swung open again, but this time, it was Cole. He was still in his school uniform, his face a mess of dirt and fresh bruises.

When Jayce saw him, Cole’s eyes started to well up. He walked toward his brother, seeking the only sanctuary he knew. Jayce smiled, patting his shoulder to cheer him up, and signaled for me to follow them down to the dining area.

But as soon as we stepped into the room…

“Ah!” I gasped, covering my mouth.

Cole fell to the floor. Tito had welcomed him home with a heavy punch to the face. I saw blood instantly bloom on Cole’s lips. Jayce rushed to block their father from attacking again.

“Wala ka talagang kwentang anak! Wala ka nang ginawa kundi ipahiya kami! You bastard, hindi ka na ba talaga titino?!” Tito was livid, his face contorted in rage.

I stood there, frozen. I couldn’t move. I was terrified by the sudden violence.

“Dad, stop! Calm down, please!” Jayce pleaded. I glanced at Tita, but she was just standing there, cold and silent, staring at her son on the floor.

I couldn’t take it. I moved toward Cole, who looked so small and vulnerable. “Hey, are you okay?” I whispered, helping him up. He nodded weakly, looking at his parents with a gaze that was about to break into a thousand pieces.

“Umalis ka sa paningin ko bago ko pa makalimutan na anak kita! Layas!” Tito shouted.

“Sana hindi na lang kita naging anak! Pinahiya mo ako sa director! I am a big part of that school, and then my useless son beats up the director’s grandson?!”

“D-dad, I just saved myself. He was going to beat me and steal my things, so I fought back—”

Clang! Tito threw something at him, hitting Cole squarely. “Umalis ka na habang nagtitimpi pa ako!”

“Umalis ka na, Cole,” Tita finally spoke, her voice chillingly serious.

“M-mom…”

“No. Don’t call me Mom right now. Just leave.”

Cole had no choice. He ran to his room, leaving the four of us in a suffocating silence. Jayce turned to me, his eyes full of shame. “Sorry you had to witness that, Pat.”

I shook my head, smiling sadly. “No, it’s okay. I understand.”

We ate dinner as if nothing had happened. Tito and Tita chatted casually, and Jayce went along with the flow to keep the peace, but I could feel his heart aching for his brother.

After dinner, Jayce whispered to me, “Pat, come with me.” We went to Cole’s room, bringing a plate of food. Cole was sitting on his terrace, staring at the dark.

“Hey, bad boy. Eat your dinner,” Jayce said with a grin. Cole looked at the food, his eyes softening as he began to eat.

“Cheer up, I have good news,” Jayce said enthusiastically. Cole stopped eating. “Diba gusto mong sumali sa banda noon pa?”

Cole nodded.

“Well, Pat and I are starting a band. And I want you to be our drummer.”

The sadness in Cole’s face vanished instantly. He jumped into his brother’s arms, beaming. “Talaga ba, Kuya?!”

“Oo naman.”

I saw the genuine happiness in Cole’s eyes that night. His brother was his only strength, his only protector. And I was the one who took that away from him.

---

The memory faded, and I found myself back in the cemetery, still holding onto the broken man Cole had become.

“He’s proud of you,” I whispered into his chest. “Jayce is so proud of you, Cole.”

Cole froze. Then, the dam finally broke. He collapsed against me, his sobs racking his entire body as he finally let go of the anger he had used as a shield for so long.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, the words raw and bleeding. “Patrice… I’m so sorry.”

CHAPTER TWNTY TWO : SORRY

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Nang sabihin ko iyon, dahan-dahan niya akong inilayo sa kanya.

His eyes were fixed on the floor, avoiding my gaze. Cole wiped his tears using his arms like a little child before finally facing me.

This time, it was different—bakas sa mukha niya ang matinding lungkot at awa.

I managed a weak smile through my tears.

“I’m sorry if I took him away from you. I’m sorry na ako ang naging dahilan kung bakit niya ginawa iyon… I understand everything you did to me.

I deserve all of this, and I will accept all of your anger until the day I die.“

Hindi siya nagsalita at nanatiling nakatingin sa akin.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, bowing my head as I continued to cry. I didn’t know what else to say.

“I did so many horrible things to you,” he finally spoke, and my head snapped up.

“I wanted you to feel how hard it was for me to lose my brother—the only person who treated me like real family. I was so mad and scared when I lost him, and you were the only person I could blame.

I made you suffer for the pain I’ve been through, to the point na nasira ko na ang lahat sa iyo.“

Hindi ako makaramdam ng galit o suklam. I just wanted to embrace him like a little brother because I could feel the depth of his soul’s agony.

He chuckled bitterly while crying. “But you know what? I was wrong.” Natigilan ako. He stared at me with so much pain.

“I wasn’t destroying you, Patrice. I was destroying me. Nagpakalunod ako sa pagkawala ni Kuya at hindi na natutong umahon. The truth is, I was the one who pulled you into my own grave.”

Huminga siya nang malalim, his voice trembling. “I was a scared little cat who lost his guide and couldn’t find the way. Hindi ko matanggap na wala na si Kuya, kaya naghanap ako ng sisisihin—at ikaw iyon. I pointed you out to my parents para kasuklaman ka nila, para mawala sa akin ang sisi.”

“Because the truth is… dapat noong gabing iyon, magkikita kami ni Kuya. Sabi niya kailangan niya ng kausap. Pero anong ginawa ko? Hindi ko siya pinansin. Nakipag-away ako sa mga kaklase ko dahil gusto kong mag-alala sina Dad at Mom sa akin… pero lalo lang nila akong itinakwil. My brother’s loss was my loss, too. Ang pagkawala ni Kuya ay ang pagkawala ko rin.”

Nahirapan akong huminga sa sobrang iyak. I felt so much pity for him. I didn’t blame him for anything; I knew Jayce was always by his side, watching over this broken boy.

“I know this is too late at walang kapatawaran ang ginawa ko sa iyo, pero gusto kong humingi ng tawad. Hinding-hindi na ako magpapakita sa iyo.

Lalayo na ako, at magiging malaya ka na, Patrice. Sorry for everything. Don’t worry, sa kalagayan ko ngayon, hindi mo na kailangang padusahin ako dahil ako mismo ang gagawa noon sa sarili ko. Habang-buhay kong pagsisisihan ito. Patawad… Ate Pat.“

I gasped. Ang huling salitang iyon— Ate Pat —ay nagpalambot sa aking buong katawan.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered one last time before running past me, disappearing into the distance.

“COLE!” I tried to call him, but he was gone.

Napaupo ako sa damuhan, lumuluha habang naiwan sa tapat ng puntod ni Jayce. I saw a small bundle of picked flowers there—from Cole. He just wanted someone to love him like family. He was a fragile child who broke into pieces because no one took care of him.

“Cole, I’m sorry,” I whispered repeatedly until I calmed down. “Why didn’t you help me realize it, Jayce?”

Nanatili ako roon hanggang sa lumubog ang araw. Pag-uwi ko, I drank beer and watched our old band videos. Doon ko lang napansin kung gaano kasaya si Cole sa mga clips na iyon, laging nakatingin sa kuya niya. His happiness depended on Jayce. Sa sobrang pagkalunod ko sa sarili kong dusa, I forgot that I should have been there for him. I was too weak and selfish.

Tama si Cole. When Jayce was gone, Cole was forgotten.

---

“Pat, don’t worry about my little brother. He’s strong and he can face anything. I believe in him.” Jayce was smiling while we were cleaning his room.

“Why are you so sure?” I asked, wiping the windows.

“Because I know so. My brother is me, I am him. Things that I can do, I know he can do, too. Cole is the best person I know.”

Napalingon ako sa kanya. “He might do bad things and hurt people, but Cole is just in pain. I understand him, and I will always make him feel loved dahil iyon lang naman ang hiling niya… and yet, my parents can’t give it to him. What a lame life.” He chuckled, but his eyes were sad for his brother.

---

“Jayce,” I whispered in my sleep. Biglang nagbago ang paligid sa panaginip ko. “Jayce?!”

“I’m here, Pat.” I heard him, but I couldn’t see him.

“Where are you? I can’t see you!”

“You don’t have to see me to know that I’m here. You just have to feel me. Everything is done, Pat. My brother is free now, and I want you to be free, too. I want you to be with Peter. Do it before it’s too late.”

“B-but—”

“I know you love him, and he loves you, too. Please, Pat… be free. Forget about me.”

“No! I can’t forget you, Jayce!”

“No, you won’t. But please… follow what your heart says. Follow your heart… follow your heart…”

Unti-unting dumilim hanggang sa lumitaw ang mukha ni Peter. “Peter,” I whispered. Longing consumed me. Nagsimula siyang maglakad palayo kaya hinabol ko siya. “Peter! Peter! NO!”

“PETER!”

Napabalikwas ako sa kama, catching my breath. Ang tindi ng sikat ng araw sa mukha ko—it was already 2 PM. I had been asleep for so long.

I need to see Peter.

Agad akong nagbihis at pumunta sa pad niya, but he wasn’t there. I assumed he was at work, kaya naghintay ako sa labas ng building. Seven hours passed. It was already 9 PM. I was drawing his name on the sand when my phone rang.

It was him.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Wendy. I’m sorry… I couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t let go of you, so please, let me fight for you.”

Napaiyak ako nang marinig ko iyon. “Where are you?”

“Pauwi na ako, malapit na sa condo. Magkita tayo, please.”

“Yes, we will.” Tumayo ako at naglakad papunta sa kanto para abangan siya. Saktong pagdating ko ay ang pagbaba niya sa bus sa kabilang kalsada.

“Peter!” I shouted.

Nang makita niya ako, mabilis siyang naglakad—halos tumakbo—patawid papunta sa akin.

And…

Gasp.

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE : EMPRESS

EMPRESS

Naglalakad ako sa hallway ng kumpanya nang mapansin ko ang isang pamilyar na bulto sa loob ng bakanteng studio. He was just sitting there, humming to himself habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana.

“Guess who’s escaping his working hours just to sit here and do nothing,” puna ko sabay bukas ng pinto.

He glanced at me and removed his headset. He still had the same vibe as yesterday—walang buhay, magulo, at laging malungkot. Nilapitan ko siya at sumandal sa pader sa harap niya. I crossed my arms and gave him a small smile.

“Still broken?” I asked.

He just grinned bitterly and looked back at the view outside. “Dad called last night.”

Natigilan ako at napatayo nang tuwid. His expression darkened, and I felt a pit in my stomach. “What did he say?”

“Sabi niya, gagawa na raw siya ng paraan para patalsikin ako dito sa trabahong ito. Maghihirap daw ako hanggang sa mapilitan akong bumalik sa puder niya…”

Napahigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa sarili kong braso. I know Tito; he’s the type of man who does exactly what he says. Takot akong sa pagkakataong ito, baka wala nang magawa si Royce kundi makulong muli sa anino ng kanyang ama.

I witnessed how he worked so hard to make a name for himself in this industry. Nakita ko kung paano sinubukan ni Tito na sirain ang bawat pangarap at kaligayahan niya. This career is the only freedom he has. Ayaw kong maulit ang nangyari dati…

---

14 Years Ago

Royce and I were playing at the playground near our houses. We’ve been friends since we were five, at dahil magkapitbahay lang kami, mas lalong lumalim ang bond namin.

“Royce, let’s go home na! It’s getting dark oh,” sabi ng walong taong gulang na ako habang hila-hila ang kamay niya.

“Sige, tara na!” masiglang sigaw niya. Para kaming mga militar na naglalakad pauwi. “Left, right, left, right!” We chanted in unison, laughing at our own footsteps.

Huminto kami sa tapat ng village party center nang makarinig kami ng ingay at hiyawan ng mga tao. Royce and I stared at each other before we decided to check it out.

“It’s a birthday party, Royce!” excitedly kong sabi habang nakatingin sa mga makukulay na balloons. “Royce, look oh! Barbie balloon over the—”

Napatigil ako nang mapansin kong wala na siya sa tabi ko. I looked around and saw him standing right in front of the stage, mesmerized. Tatlong teenagers ang kumakanta noon sa taas.

“Wow,” I heard him whisper, his eyes shining with wonder.

I waved my hands in front of his face, pero mukhang hindi niya ako napansin, kaya nanuod na lang din ako. He stayed like that until the performance ended, and that was the only time I was able to pull him away.

Habang naglalakad pauwi, bigla siyang tumahimik, as if he was thinking of something serious. “Hey, you okay?” I asked.

He looked at me with a serious face and suddenly smiled—a pure and genuine smile. “Empress, I want to be an artist or a model someday!” bigla niyang isinigaw bago tumakbo papasok sa bahay nila.

He stopped at their door and looked back at me. “Let’s be artists someday, Empress, okay! Bye-bye!” Pagkatapos noon ay pumasok na siya sa loob.

I didn’t realize he was that serious. Noong nag-aaral na kami, he would share meals with me and wouldn’t buy his own dahil nag-iipon siya para pambili ng gitara. Since konti lang naman ako kumain noon, it was fine with me.

Days and years passed until he finally bought a cheap guitar from a small store near our school. He cherished that guitar so much. Nabawasan ang paglalaro namin dahil mas pinipili niyang kumanta sa park sa harap ng maraming tao.

I supported him every step of the way. Marami sa village ang humanga sa talent niya hanggang sa dumating ang araw na iyon. Ang araw kung kailan dinurog ni Tito ang gitara niya sa harap ko. He beat Royce up because he wasn’t following his rules. Tito wanted Royce to follow his footsteps, but Royce insisted on his dream.

His whole high school life was like a jail. Bantay-sarado siya ni Tito at nawalan siya ng anumang ugnayan sa musika. That was when the jolly and dreamer Royce disappeared, replaced by this cold and independent man.

---

But at the moment when I saw him with that woman, Wendy, his eyes brought him back to life. Ngayong wala na ang babaeng iyon, balik siya sa dati. Napapaisip tuloy ako kung tama ba ang advice ko na kalimutan niya ito, dahil nakikita kong mas lalong lumalala lang ang lagay niya habang tumatagal.

Naisip ko, noong kasama niya ang babaeng iyon, nawala ang takot niya sa kanyang ama. He learned how to fight for himself. And if that woman was the reason… maybe I should trust him.

“Royce, you love that woman, right?” bigla kong tanong na ikinagulat niya.

His eyes widened, showing so much longing, sadness, and true love. I guess it’s time. I smiled confidently at him.

“I was wrong. You shouldn’t let go of the person who makes you complete. Fight for her, Royce. Even if she pushes you away, don’t let go.” Pinat ko ang balikat niya at kinuha ang phone sa bulsa niya para iabot sa kanya. “Call her now.”

Ako na mismo ang nag-dial ng number para sa kanya. He looked at me for a second before he smiled and walked fast out of the room. “You can do it, Royce,” I whispered.

Sumunod ako sa kanya at narinig ko siyang kinakausap ang babae sa kabilang linya.

“Hello, Wendy. I’m sorry… I couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t let go of you, so please, let me fight for you.”

Napangiti ako at sumandal sa pader habang pinapanood siyang humahakbang patungo sa kanyang true love.

“Pauwi na ako, malapit na ako sa condo. Magkita tayo, please,” he said before running off.

I smirked. “That’s my best friend. You grow up so fast.” Tinalikuran ko na siya at naglakad pabalik sa studio.

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR : DEAD

“Peter!” I shouted.

Nang makita niya ako, mabilis siyang naglakad patawid papunta sa akin. But then, a motorcycle sped through the opposite lane at biglang sinalpok si Peter. In that split second, I saw how he was thrown across the road like a ragdoll.

As he fell, lots of blood pooled around his head. A loud shout and noise surrounded the place—the screech of tires and the bright lights of vehicles—pero ang tanging narinig ko ay isang matining at nakakabinging tunog sa aking mga tenga. It pierced through my brain.

I was frozen in place. My eyes were locked on his, those eyes that were looking at me with so much love just moments ago. Why were they closed now? Where were the expressions? The feelings?

“Peter?” I whispered. Natauhan lang ako nang makita ko siyang binubuhat na ng mga paramedics papunta sa ambulansya.

I gasped. My whole body was shaking. I tried to walk toward him, pero biglang nanlambot ang mga paa ko at napaupo ako sa kalsada. “Peter?” I whispered again. I couldn’t feel, hear, or think anymore.

Para akong nanonood ng isang slow-motion movie nang isara ang pinto ng ambulansya. I gazed at it, waiting for him to open those expressive eyes and look at me one last time. Until the door closed and the ambulance sped away.

They were bringing him away. I just sat there and stared at his blood on the asphalt. Everything was a blur.

Gusto ko lang makita ulit ang mga mata niya. Unti-unti akong tumayo, tinulungan ng isang babaeng dumaan. As soon as I stood straight, I started walking, following the direction where the ambulance went.

“Peter,” I kept whispering his name.

Naglalakad ako nang bigla akong may nabangga at natumba ako sa kalsada. “Hey, watch where you’re going, miss!” he hissed, but my eyes were still locked on the road ahead.

“Peter,” I whispered, standing up again. I walked past him, nakatulala at namamanhid. Where did they bring him? Where are you, Peter?

Napaupo ako sa gilid nang magsimulang sumakit ang aking ulo at manikip ang aking dibdib. I felt a crushing weight in my chest—so heavy and painful that I could barely breathe.

“P-Peter…”

“Miss, okay ka lang?” My head rose when someone touched my arm. It was a woman. “Hey, are you okay, miss?”

Ambulance. Hospital. That popped into my mind. I quickly grabbed the lady’s arms. “Hospital!”

Her eyes looked confused. “You want me to bring you to the hospital?”

I immediately nodded. “Okay, let’s go,” she said, opening her car for me. I quickly climbed in, staring blankly at the road as she drove.

“Peter,” I whispered. After a few minutes, “Here we are in the—” Hindi ko na siya pinatapos. I jumped out of the car and ran inside the hospital.

“Peter?” I whispered, looking around. Paikot-ikot ang aking paningin. “Where is Peter?” I asked a nurse passing by. Nagulat siya at dahan-dahang inalis ang kamay ko sa braso niya.

“Ma’am, if you’re looking for someone, please go to the information desk first,” she said, leading the way. “Ma’am, your hands are freezing. Are you okay?”

I quickly pulled my hand away. “Peter.”

“Nurse Jen, the lady here is asking for a patient named Peter…” The nurse looked at me, asking for a full name.

“Royce Gonzales,” I said, pinching my arms to stop them from shaking. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nanginginig nang ganito.

“Ma’am, he’s in the Emergency Room right now. Nurse Faye, assist her please.” I didn’t speak; I just followed.

Huminto kami sa tapat ng isang malaking pinto. It said ER (Emergency Room).

“Ma’am, you can sit here and wait for the doctor,” she said, pointing to the chairs.

I just shook my head, ignoring her. My eyes were fixed on the door, waiting for it to open so I could see those eyes again.

“Peter,” I whispered.

“Ma’am, are you sure you’re fine? You look so pale and you’re shaking too much.”

“I’m fine. Leave,” I said coldly. I felt her presence disappear. 30 minutes, one hour, two hours… then, the door opened.

“Peter?” I asked the doctor, who was removing his mask and blood-stained gloves.

“We did everything to save him, but he lost so much blood. He didn’t make it. The patient is dead.”

“Peter?” I said, still looking past him at the door. I didn’t process what he said. I was waiting for them to move him to a room.

“Ma’am?” The doctor touched my arm. I glanced at him.

“Ma’am, the patient is dead already.” Ano ang sinabi niya?

“Peter?” I uttered, giving him a small smile.

“Ma’am, we’re sorry, but Mr. Gonzales didn’t make it.”

“Where is Peter? Hindi niyo pa ba siya ililipat sa ibang room?” I asked.

“Ma’am… he’s gone.”

I chuckled. “N-no, he’s not de—”

Biglang isang malakas na sampal ang sumalubong sa akin. It was Peter’s friend, Empress. She was crying, her eyes filled with rage.

“You killed him! Sabi ko na nga ba, hindi ka para sa kanya!”

I stiffened. “P-Peter?” He’s dead?

“You killed him! Because of you, he died! You killed him!” she shouted, slapping me again and again. The doctors and nurses tried to pull her away, but I didn’t care about the slaps. My eyes were locked on that door. No. “Peter.” He’s not dead.

“You killed him! You killed Peter!” Her words started ringing in my ears.

“Agh!” I groaned, covering my ears.

“No.”

“You killed him!”

“You killed them both!”

“No, I didn’t! I didn’t do anything!” I whispered, pressing my hands harder against my head.

“You killed him!”

The ER door opened, and a loud wail from Empress filled the hallway. “P-Peter…”

“Ma’am!” The nurses panicked when Empress fainted. Pero ako, nanatiling nakatitig sa papalayong katawan ni Peter na tinatakpan na ng puting tela. He was pale, expressionless, and his eyes were closed. Forever.

“Peter,” I whispered before walking out.

I found myself on a nearby bridge. The bright moon welcomed me, and I smiled bitterly. “Peter.”

He’s dead. In just a glimpse, he’s gone.

Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib. The pain was killing me, yet no tears were falling. I was dying inside. Just like what happened to Jayce.

“He’s dead,” I whispered and smiled. I punched my chest. “I can’t feel anything!”

“I can’t feel anything!!” I punched harder. Harder! Harder!

I want to cry. I want to feel the pain. I want to feel something!

“Peter…”

CHAPTER TWNETY FIVE : LIANA PATRICE LIM

“Peter,” I whispered, raising my head to the beautiful dark sky filled with despairing stars.

But suddenly, one star among them brightened—it was like a miniature sun, sparkling and dazzling. One word came to my mind: “Peter.” I said it out of the blue, raising my hands as if I could reach for that brightest star.

I will reach it. It was so bright, beautiful, expressive, and lovely. My Peter.

A little more. I held onto the railings of the bridge and slowly lifted my feet until I was standing on the very edge. I can reach it, just a little more.

“Ahh! Miss, bumaba ka diyan!” I heard someone shout, but I didn’t care. Paramit nang paramit at palakas nang palakas ang mga boses sa paligid, but my attention was locked on that star. I wanted to hold it.

Unti na lang. I stretched my arms and tiptoed to reach the light. I can do it. I will reach you.

I watched my hands slowly close in on the glow, but suddenly—

“Ahh!!” I heard a loud shout as I felt myself plummeting out of the bridge. The strong wind surrounded my whole body. In this falling position, I felt like I could finally reach the star.

“Peter,” I whispered before I hit the surface, sinking into the cold and freezing river.

I can finally feel something. The icy touch of the water against my skin. Under this dark, freezing river, I could still see the glimmer of the star above.

“Peter…” I slowly closed my eyes.

---

Year 2008

“Hey, Royce! Bakit tayo nandito? Mapapagalitan ka na naman ni Tito nito eh!” sigaw ng labing-isang taong gulang na si Empress sa kanyang kaibigan.

“I want to play here and escape from Dad! He will just make me study again and read lots and lots of books. I’m tired of it!” angil ng labindalawang taong gulang na si Peter habang inaakyat ang pinakamataas na puno sa kanilang village.

Little Empress pouted and sat on the grass, watching her friend climb fearlessly. “You are going to get bugbog na naman niyan, Royce!”

“I’m fine with that. I just want to feel the fresh air for a while. Look, Empress, a mango!” he shouted, pointing at a fruit on a nearby branch.

Natuwa si Empress dahil paborito niya ang mangga. “I’ll get it for you,” Peter said. He held tight to a branch and tried to reach for the fruit.

But suddenly, the branch Peter was holding onto snapped. He lost his grip.

“Royce!!” Empress screamed.

The young Royce fell from the tree. Pero bago pa siya tumama sa lupa, isang high school girl ang mabilis na tumakbo at sinubukang saluhin siya.

“Pat!!” sigaw ng boyfriend ng dalaga nang bumagsak si Pat sa damuhan kasama ang bata sa kanyang mga bisig.

Nawalan ng malay ang batang lalaki. The high school girl lifted him up slowly, groaning in pain. Ang braso niya ang napuruhan sa pagbagsak dahil doon tumama ang bigat ng bata.

“Royce!” Empress whimpered, sobbing as she reached for her friend. Tinulungan naman ng boyfriend ng dalaga ang bata.

Binuhat nila ito at dinala sa malapit na clinic sa village. Empress was just crying while waiting for her friend, habang ang nagligtas kay Peter ay nasa kabilang silid, ginagamot ang braso.

“You cannot play guitar for two weeks because of this injury, Miss Lim. I suggest you take a break first and rest your arms, okay?” nakangiting sabi ng nurse habang inaayos ang mga papeles.

Malungkot na tumango ang dalaga at tinignan ang kanyang nobyo. Her boyfriend smiled at her with assurance, trying to make her feel better. “It’s fine, don’t be sad…” he whispered, rubbing his thumb over her fingers.

The girl’s sadness loosened, and she smiled back. Paglabas nila ng silid, bandado na ang kanyang braso at halos hindi niya ito maigalaw.

Nakita nila ang batang babae na kasama ng niligtas nila. Lalapitan na sana nila ito nang biglang may dumating na dalawang babae at isang lalaki.

“Empress, darling!” Empress’ mother hugged her.

“What happened?!” malakas na sigaw ni Mr. Gonzales, habang si Mrs. Gonzales naman ay hindi mapakaling pumasok sa loob ng silid kung nasaan si Peter.

“I told you to stop playing outside, right?!” bulyaw ni Mr. Gonzales sa takot na si Empress. The little girl hid behind her mom and cried.

The high school girl and her boyfriend just watched the scene until the doctor came out to face Mr. Gonzales.

“The kid is fine. Nawalan lang siya ng malay dahil sa gulat at nerbiyos. Good thing someone tried to catch him, kaya walang nangyaring masama.”

Nang marinig iyon ng dalaga, she felt relieved.

“Tara na,” nakangiting sambit niya sa nobyo at nagsimulang maglakad palabas.

“I didn’t know that my girlfriend is a superhero,” biro ng kanyang boyfriend.

The girl made a face. “Ha-ha-ha. Funny,” angil niya, pero tumawa lang ang lalaki at hinawakan ang kamay niya.

“But I’m serious. You were so brave there, Pat. I love you more because of that,” he whispered.

“You should be,” she joked.

Paalis na sila ng ospital nang may tumawag na nurse sa kanila habang tumatakbo. “Hey!” Huminto sila at lumingon.

“Yes po?” tanong ni Pat.

Hinihingal na hinarap sila ng nurse at ngumiti. “Sorry, nakalimutan ko kasing ilista ang name mo sa patients’ list ko. What’s your name again?”

The girl glanced at her boyfriend before looking back at the nurse.

“Liana Patrice Lim. Fourteen years old po.”

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX : GOODBYE

As I close my eyes and let myself sink into the dark, freezing river, walang ibang tumatakbo sa aking isipan kundi ang pangalan niya. Until the glimmering star slowly disappears.

“Peter.” “Peter.” “Peter.”

“Wake up.”

I suddenly hear someone whisper that into my ears. “Wake up, Patrice.”

As I open my eyes, bigla akong nakaramdam ng pagkawala ng paghinga. I quickly sit up, catching my breath. I was gasping so hard and my eyes were blurry.

But when my vision cleared, I saw myself sitting in my bathtub. Overflowing water was all around me and on the bathroom floor.

Why am I here?

I slowly stand up and walk out of the bathroom. I glance at the light coming through the curtains, kaya agad kong inabot ang aking bathrobe at binalot ang aking katawan.

Tumuloy ako sa bintana at buong lakas na binuksan ang kurtina. I can see the sunset right now. I quickly crawl onto my bed to reach for my phone to check the time.

6:30 PM? Don’t tell me… it was a dream?

Hindi makapaniwalang napaupo ako sa kama at napatulala sa bintana, kung saan tanaw ko ang pagbaba ng haring araw. I held my chest; it was beating so fast.

My legs weakened and my hands were trembling. Para akong kinakain ng kakaibang takot—a fear mixed with a pain that I wouldn’t want to feel again.

Nanatili akong nakatulala hanggang sa inabot na ako ng dilim. I was dumbfounded. What happened? Is this real?

Nang matauhan ako, muli kong inabot ang cellphone para subukang tawagan ang number ni Peter. “Peter,” I whisper while searching. “Peter, where is it?”

I keep searching, pero nakalkal ko na ang lahat sa phonebook ko at walang “Peter” na nakalagay doon. Agad akong nagbihis ng puting polo shirt at pants. I run out of my unit and go to the door of his pad. I knock a hundred times, but no one answers.

“Peter?” I utter, continuous knocking.

“Ma’am, bakit niyo po kinakatok ’yan?” Napalingon ako nang biglang may nagsalita sa likuran ko. It was the building security guard.

“Y-yong n-nakatira dito? Asan s-siya?” I was stuttering.

Nalilito niya akong tinignan habang nagkakamot ng batok. “Ma’am, wala pa po kasing naga-avail ng unit na ’yan. Iyon po ang pagkakaalam ko, kaya wala pa po kayong kapitbahay. Wala pa pong nakatira d’yan.”

Nabitawan ko ang cellphone ko. “What do you mean?”

“Wala pa pong nakatira d’yan, ma’am,” he repeated.

“No, may nakatira dito! This is Peter’s pad!”

He stared at me with disbelief and took a sniff. “Ma’am, lasing na po kayo. Magpahinga na po kayo.” He guided me back to my unit.

“Hayaan niyo po, ’pag may kumuha na ng space na ’yan, sasabihan ko po kayo agad. Pahinga na po muna.” He closed my door.

Naiwan akong nakaupo sa sahig. My broken phone was beside me. I grab it, my mind racing. What’s happening? Where are you, Peter?

I spend several minutes thinking before heading to the kitchen. I grab some beers from the refrigerator and sit at the dining table.

Tinignan ko ang buong paligid ng unit ko at natigilan ako. My door? Hindi ito sira. Ang sinirang pinto ni Cole sa kwarto ko ay hindi sira?

“Agh!” I groan, messing up my hair and drinking more. I don’t fucking understand. I drown myself in alcohol and smoke until it’s the middle of the night.

I stayed there, dumbfounded, until I felt the urge to go to the rooftop—where I first saw him. If everything wasn’t real, what’s the worth of living?

Naglakad ako palabas, pagewang-gewang na nagtungo sa rooftop dala ang isang bote ng beer.

When I reach the top, a cold breeze rushes against my skin. It was cold, but I felt numb. I smile bitterly. Everything was my freaking fantasy.

I stare at the dark night, seeking that one bright star, but I find nothing. Lahat ng bituin ay pare-pareho lang.

I aggressively finish the beer and throw the can. Walang takot kong inakyat ang railings ng rooftop.

As I stand there, I feel nothing. I raise my head to the moon, illuminating the city lights below. I want to be like them—happy. I want to be with him.

“Goodbye,” I whisper, closing my eyes.

“Wag!!!”

I open my eyes, but before I can look back, someone pulls me down from the railing. We both tumble onto the floor.

“What the fuck! Ano ba, magpapakamatay ka ba ha?!”

I get stiff when I hear that voice. I slowly turn around to look at the person.

“That was close,” he said, holding his chest. I gasp.

“P-peter?”

He looked at me, and that’s when my tears started to flow.

“Peter.”

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN : I LOVE YOU

“Peter.”

Mabilis akong gumapang papalapit sa kanya at niyakap siya nang sobrang higpit. My sobs were so loud that they were the only thing I could hear on the rooftop.

“P-peter,” I utter his name, even though I’m having a hard time breathing because of the crying. I hugged him tighter, ensuring that I won’t ever let him go. I felt him touch my hair and rub it, trying to calm me down. But that didn’t stop me from crying; mas lumala lang ang pag-iyak ko sa ginawa niya.

I was longing for this touch. “Shh,” he whispered, trying to make me feel better by hugging me back and rubbing my hair gently.

“Don’t leave me again, please don’t,” I whisper, pero halos hindi ko na marinig ang sarili kong boses dahil nilalamon ito ng lakas ng aking pag-iyak.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” he gently said. He tried to move me away a bit para makita ang aking mukha, ngunit hindi ako pumayag at mas hinigpitan pa ang yakap sa kanya.

“No, I won’t ever let you go. Please, no.” I beg. Natatakot ako na sa oras na binitawan ko siya ay mawala siyang muli. “Please, no.”

“Hey, hey, hey… it’s okay. I won’t leave,” he whispers, still trying to pull back a little. Pero hindi ko alam, mas lalo lang akong naiyak at kumapit sa kanya, kaya hindi niya ako magawang mailayo.

“No, no, no, please… I won’t let go. I beg you, I don’t want to let you go,” nanginig kong sambit habang pilit kumakapit sa kanya.

“Hey, listen to me, Wendy. I won’t,” seryoso niyang sambit as he dahan-dahang made me face him.

He was holding both sides of my waist while my hands were locked on his nape. Mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ko, sinisiguradong hindi siya bibitawan. Even though I was undergoing major symptoms of my anxiety—my body trembling and my lips shaking—he gently reached for my cheeks. He stared straight at me, slowly offering a sweet, genuine smile.

My eyes met his and I cried even harder. Those eyes… I thought I won’t ever see them again. Inabot ko ang mukha niya at hinawakan ang kanyang mga mata as he closed them, feeling my touch.

“P-please, d-don’t l-leave me a-again,” I whisper.

He chuckled and held my hands, leading them to his lips to kiss my palm. “I love you,” he whispers.

That was the word I wanted to hear for so long. Even with the anxiety attack, my heart never stopped beating so fast for him. “I-I… l-love…” Hindi ko matapos ang sasabihin dahil sa pag-iyak, kaya niyakap ko siyang muli at sumiksik sa kanyang leeg. “I love you, Peter. Please don’t ever leave me again. I love you, I love you.”

I felt him chuckle as he hugged my waist as tightly as I hugged him.

It took some time before I calmed down. Peter had to carry me on his back dahil nanghihina at nanginginig ang mga tuhod ko—well, my whole body, actually.

“I love you,” I whisper.

He laughed while opening the door to his pad. “Kanina mo pa sinasabi ’yan. And yes, I know that you love me, and I love you more,” he sweetly said as he brought me inside.

As I looked around, the place was already fixed. Then why did the security guard say na wala pang bumibili ng unit na ’to? Was he lying to me?

“Here,” Peter said as he put me down on the couch, but I didn’t let go of his hands.

“I’m going to make porridge to help with your dizziness and the hangover,” sambit niya, na tila nagpapaalam sa isang bata.

I pouted and felt like I was about to cry again. When he saw that, he quickly chuckled and picked me up again, carrying me like a baby. My legs were locked around his waist while my arms stayed around his neck. My grip supported my weight so he could carry me with only one arm. I rested my chin on his shoulder and let him bring me to the kitchen, patuloy pa rin ang aking pagsinghot.

He put me down on the kitchen sink and tried to let go of my waist, but I quickly held on and tears escaped my eyes again.

“How am I supposed to cook food if you don’t want to let go of my hands?” malumanay niyang tanong.

“Please, I don’t want to let go,” nanginginig kong sambit, tightening my hold.

He let out a heavy breath before glancing back at me. “Okay,” he said, standing right in front of me and locking me in with his arms resting on the sink.

He moved his face closer and smiled. “Kiss me, so I will let you hold me all you want,” he whispered in his deep voice.

Walang pagdadalawang-isip na inabot ko ang kanyang mukha at hinalikan siya. It was the touch I’ve been wanting to feel; I didn’t feel numb anymore.

He stiffened for a bit but quickly responded as I moved my lips to kiss him deeper.

I rested my arms on his shoulders, tears still flowing.

Kissing him was like a dream come true. I felt his warm palms wrap around my waist, rubbing gently up to my back. As my tongue explored, I felt butterflies in my stomach, despite the dramatic longing I felt.

We stopped to catch our breath, our foreheads resting against each other.

When he saw me gasping, he said, “Forget about the food. Let me be with you tonight,” he said huskily. Without a word, binuhat niya ako palabas ng kusina at dinala sa kanyang silid.

He slowly laid me on the bed and positioned himself above me. It was a wonderful night.

Later, I lay beside him and rested my head on his chest. “I love you, Peter. Please don’t ever leave me again,” I whisper before drifting off.

“I love you too,” I hear him say before I finally fall asleep.

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT : MARRY ME

In the middle of the night, I force myself to wake up. Sa pagmulat ng aking mga mata, ang kanyang mukha agad ang hinahanap ko.

There he was, sleeping peacefully—safe and sound.

As I stare at him, I can’t help but cry, because seeing him like this makes me remember that nightmare.

Dahan-dahan kong inangat ang aking kamay upang haplusin ang kanyang mukha. I fix some messy strands of his hair and keep on staring at him, memorizing every part of his face. From his forehead to his eyebrows, eyelashes, nose, cheeks, lips, and chin…

I saw my hands shake while touching his face. I can’t help but feel scared of losing him. I already lost one of the most important people back then, and now, I will not let you leave my side.

I wipe my tears at muli siyang niyakap at sumiksik sa kanyang braso. As he felt my hug, he moved to give me better access to him and hugged me back.

This is the place where I want to be for the rest of my life.

“I love you,” I whisper before I go back to sleep.

---

“Goodbye, Pat.”

That voice. I looked around and saw Jayce standing underneath a bright light coming from the sky. He is wearing white pants and a white polo shirt—so clean and clear; his presence shows so much peacefulness.

“Jayce,” I utter and walk near him, but the more I walk, the further away he gets. Walking was useless. I shook my head and wiped the escaping tears.

“Pat, your strength,” he says. I raised my head to gaze at him. He was smiling so genuinely, like there’s no pain in his soul. “You can pass through anything. Remember this, Pat: you are loved.”

“Jayce,” I whisper as he started going up the stairs behind him, ang hagdanan patungo sa liwanag galing sa langit.

“Jayce!” I attempted to step one more time, but I couldn’t move my feet anymore.

“You are strong, Pat. Live and reach for your dream. No one can destroy you. You are pure steel, and no one can harm you when you start standing again. Stop blaming yourself, Pat. You are forgiven and you are free… be happy, Pat. I love you, as long as I live inside your heart and mind.”

“Jayce!” I can’t reach him. I can’t.

“You can, Pat. You can,” he said, smiling so purely.

And one last time, he smiled and winked at me like he always did back then. “This is my final goodbye, Pat. I love you, and be strong, my love.” After saying those words, he suddenly vanished into that luminescence.

Everything becomes black and dark again. “Jayce,” I whisper. Realizing how terrified I am as the dark eats me, I quickly tremble. Fear eats my whole system. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t like the dark. Please, someone save me.

You are strong, Pat. No, Jayce, you’re wrong. I’m weak and useless. “Ahh!” I shouted when the dark suddenly grabbed my feet and pulled me into the darkest hole. No!

---

“No!!” I shouted and opened my eyes.

Punong-puno ng pawis ang aking mukha at tumutulo ang aking luha sa sobrang takot. My breath is getting weaker the more I try to breathe out. My eyes quickly roam around the place and realize that I’m still in Peter’s room. I slowly move my hands without looking, trying to reach for him beside me, but I touch nothing but the pillow.

It was like horror to my whole system. My eyes widened and my whole body twitched with too much fear.

“P-peter?” No one answers. No, please… “Peter!”

I shouted and hugged my knees, hiding my face and crying louder. I cry so loud, then suddenly the door opens. There he is, standing nervously, staring at me.

“P-peter,” I utter his name.

He ran to me and immediately hugged me. “Hey, shhh… I’m here. Don’t cry, I’m here. I’m here, shhh.” He tried to stop me from crying, and that’s when I went back to my senses and hugged him so tight.

“Don’t leave me,” I whisper.

He hugged me tighter and kissed the top of my head. “I’m here. Stop crying,” he said, making me face him. He wipes my tears, and when I can finally see him clearly, he suddenly makes some funny faces that make me laugh.

“See? You’re laughing already. I don’t want to see you cry again, okay? Don’t cry, I’m here,” he whispered and hugged me again.

“I love you,” I whisper. “I love you more,” he whispers back.

---

Months have passed, and I’m still with him.

“Hey, come here, look!” masigla nitong sambit habang tinuturo ang napakalawak na dagat. Nandito kami ngayon sa beach para mag-celebrate ng kanyang kaarawan. We have been in a relationship for almost nine months. I’m fully healed from my anxieties and I am living a life with him.

“Look, look,” he said, pulling my hand so I could be beside him. Sabay naming pinagmasdan ang tinuturo niyang sunset. I wrap my arms around his waist while his arms are on my shoulders, holding my left hand.

“So beautiful,” I whisper, smiling at the lovely sunset. “The most beautiful,” he said beside me. When I looked at him, he was looking at me.

I smile and reach for his face, giving him a soft kiss on the lips. “I love you,” I whisper. “I love you more,” he whispered back.

After that, we went to our cottage to rest. I sleep with him beside me, but I wake up alone. I quickly stand up to find him. Mabilis akong lumabas sa aming room at nagtungo sa front desk.

“Have you seen my boyfriend?” kinakabahan kong sambit. “Ahm, ma’am, the last time I saw him, he went this way,” she said, pointing toward the seashore.

Agad akong tumakbo papunta sa kanyang tinuro. Nanginginig ang aking mga kamay at nagbabadyang muli ang aking mga luha. I ran and ran along the seashore, and when I reached the end, I went stiff.

He turned his back and faced me with those expressive eyes. “Hi,” he said casually.

But I burst out crying. I feel so much relief. I ran to him and hugged him so tight.

“Hey, why are you crying again?” natatawang sambit niya habang pinapaharap ako sa nakahandang dinner date sa tabing-dagat.

“I hate you,” I said, wiping my eyes. “Sorry na. Come, let’s sit,” he said, controlling his laugh.

We both ate the dinner he prepared, though my eyes were so swollen. He didn’t stop laughing at me hanggang sa matapos kami. I glared at him. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” he said, trying to compose himself.

“Okay, I’m serious now,” he said, fixing his posture. I just watch him when he suddenly puts something on our table. As he opens it, I gasp.

He smiled and said, “Will you marry me?”

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE : NEVER EXISTED

“Will you marry me?”

I was stiff, but I quickly recovered when he reached for my hands and looked into my eyes. “Y-yes,” I utter. With that, he slowly put the shining ring on my finger.

Nang ito ay tuluyang nakasuot sa aking kamay, dahan-dahan niya itong binitawan. I stared at the glimmering object on my finger.

My emotions were so overwhelmed with happiness that I couldn’t even react right; I could only stare at this wonderful ring. I slowly touched the ring with my other hand, biting my lip to control my tears. My heart was pounding so fast. I was filled with hope that this would last forever with him.

Dahan-dahan ko itong hinihimas, memorizing every feature. But suddenly, as I touched it, unti-unti itong nawawala sa aking pakiramdam.

I can’t touch it! Lumalabo at tumatagos ang aking kamay sa singsing. It was slowly disappearing. I panic, trying to grab it, but it was vanishing before my eyes.

I glanced at Peter and felt my breath hitch when I saw nothing. Wala siya. Agad umikot ang aking paningin sa paligid, ngunit tanging katahimikan at agos lamang ng tubig ang nangingibabaw. I looked at the dinner he prepared; like the ring, it slowly faded until it was gone.

I was eaten by fear, standing there alone. “Peter?” I whisper. Maybe he’s hiding. I tried walking, looking for him. “Peter? Where are you? This is not funny anymore.” I tried hiding the fear, hoping this was just one of his jokes.

Habang naglalakad sa dalampasigan, unti-unti nang kinakain ng dilim ang paligid. Then, I saw him standing at the edge of the seashore. Mabilis akong tumakbo papunta sa kanya. “Peter!!!”

When he faced me, a large amount of light suddenly glowed behind him, making me stop. My eyes widened. That light… it was similar to where Jayce went when he said his last goodbye in my dreams.

“N-no,” I whisper. Sinubukan kong lapitan siya, ngunit nanlalamig ang buo kong katawan at hindi ko magawang humakbang. I’m scared of that light. Please, no.

He smiles at me, slowly turns his back, and walks into the luminescence.

“No! Peter, no!!!!” I shouted. I tried to run, but everything suddenly moved. The sand beneath me started to eat my feet. Dahan-dahan akong lumulubog sa lupa.

Tears burst out of my eyes. I reached for him, “Peter, no! Peter, don’t leave me! Peter, no!!!”

Hindi niya ako naririnig. Palayo na siya nang palayo. “Peter!!!” I tried to grab onto anything, but half of my body was already drowning in the sand.

“Peter, no, please!!!” Kahit anong pilit ko, hindi na siya lumingon. I could only cry and beg as he faded away.

“Peter!”

“No!!!! Peter!!!” The pain of seeing him walk away kills me. “No, please,” I whisper before the sand fully covered my sight and darkness surrounded me.

Silence. Pain. Numbness.

“Peter.” “Peter!!”

I open my eyes, at matinding liwanag ang sumalubong sa akin. Nakaramdam ako ng matinding hirap sa paghinga, parang hinahabol ko ang hininga ko pagkatapos ng sobrang habang panahon.

The light started to get gloomy hanggang sa may naaninag na ako. There was something blocking my mouth, making it hard to breathe.

“Patrice!” I heard someone call my name. “Doc!!!”

That voice… so familiar. Nang unti-unting luminaw ang aking paningin, isang malinis na silid ang aking nakita. I can’t move.

When I looked at who was speaking, my eyes widened. It was Cole. At nang malipat ang tingin ko sa aking kamay, may kung anong nakatusok doon at isang tubo ang nakakonekta sa aking bibig.

Ano ito? Bakit ganito? Nasaan si Peter? Nasaan ako?

Kahit anong pilit kong gumalaw, parang pagod na pagod ang aking katawan. Hinang-hina ito. I saw the door open and a doctor rushed in with nurses.

They checked my eyes with a flashlight. Gulong-gulo ako. I close my eyes and try to find Peter, but only darkness shows.

Mabigat ang aking dibdib. I opened my eyes again as the doctor removed the tube from my mouth.

“Patrice, are you okay?” I saw Cole holding my hand, tears overflowing in his eyes. But wait… why is he wearing his college uniform?

“She’s fine now, but we’ll still undergo tests to make sure,” the doctor said. Kumunot ang aking noo. Nang umalis ang doktor, agad kong hinarap si Cole.

“Si Peter? Asan siya?” Hirap akong magsalita; tuyong-tuyo ang lalamunan ko.

He looked at me with confusion. “Pat, sino ang sinasabi mo?”

“Si Peter! Si Peter na boyfriend ko! Yung nakatira sa tapat ng condo ko! Nasaan siya!!” I shouted, shaking his hands. Umaapaw ang magulong pakiramdam sa dibdib ko.

“Pat, sinong Peter? Anong sinasabi mo?”

“Hindi! Si Peter, nasaan na siya?!” I started pulling out the machines connected to my body. “Nurse! Doc!!” Cole started shouting too.

“Si Peter, kailangan ko siyang hanapin! Baka hinihintay niya ako! Cole!!!”

He was stopping me, holding both of my hands.

He was crying. “Pat, sandali lang, Pat,” he whispered. The doctor returned and injected something into me, slowly calming my body and making me weak again. Wala akong nagawa kundi lumuha habang nakatingin sa pinto. Peter, wait for me…

“Doc, bakit nagkakaganito si Pat?” Cole asked.

“She was in a coma for almost a year. It’s normal to have illusions or vivid dreams in that state.

Her brain was functioning at its lowest stage, and coming from the trauma of what happened to Jayce, she likely built a world to escape reality. But she’ll recover.“

I don’t know what to feel. My brain is aching, but my heart is dying. Please, tell me this isn’t true. Tell me Peter is real. I glanced at the wall and saw a calendar. No!!!

OCTOBER 25, 2015

The year Jayce died.

“Pat, listen to me. You were in a coma for almost a year. That time when we found Kuya’s body in his apartment, you ran outside and got hit by a truck.”

No. I laugh and shake my head. “No, you’re lying, Cole. I’m 26 now and I’m marrying Peter. Hindi ako na-coma. Hindi totoo ito.”

“Pat, it was all a dream,” he whispered, hugging me as I started throwing things beside me.

“No!! You’re lying! No!!”

“Sorry, Pat.”

“No, Peter was waiting for me! Hinihintay ako ni Peter!”

“Pat, walang Peter. It was all an illusion.”

Umiling-iling ako, pilit kumakawala sa yakap niya. “No, totoo si Peter! Ito ang hindi totoo! Ibalik niyo ko kay Peter! Mahal ko siya! Parang awa mo na, papuntahin niyo ko kay Peter!”

“Pat, please! Tumigil ka na! Walang Peter! It was all your illusion! Walang Peter, Pat!”

Unti-unti akong nanlambot. I stared at the calendar and felt a soul-crushing numbness. All of that… was not true? Illusions? Peter?

“N-no,” I whisper.

“He was in your illusions only, Pat. Wake up.”

Nakatulala kong pinaghahampas ang aking dibdib. Ang sakit. It hurts so much to realize that the person I love—the person who saved me—didn’t actually exist.

Peter was my illusion. Peter never existed.

“Ahh!”

EPILOGUE

MONTHS HAVE PASSED BY.

“Pat, kumain ka naman na oh. Paano ka makakarecover nang mabilis niyan kung patuloy mo lang papabayaan ang sarili mo?” Cole said, trying to put the porridge into my mouth.

But I avoided it and continued staring at the window.

“Pat naman, ano ba… ilang buwan na simula nang gumising ka. Hindi ka na nagsalita simula noon. The doctor said you were fine and there’s no effect on your whole body. Sabi niya, ikaw lang mismo ang gumagawa niyan sa sarili mo. Pat, magsalita ka naman na,” he begged.

Simula nang magising ako at malaman ang katotohanan, hindi na ako nakaramdam ng kahit ano.

Nanatili ako sa silid na ito at wala nang ibang ginawa kundi titigan ang paglabas at paglubog ng araw, hanggang sa pumalit ang buwan kung saan may mga nagniningning na bituin.

“Pat, parang awa mo na, tulungan mo naman ang sarili mo. Hinihintay ka na ni Kuya simula nang mawala siya, at gumising ka na ni hindi mo pa siya nadadalaw sa puntod niya. Pat, si Kuya ang naghihintay sa’yo, hindi ang Peter na sinasabi mo… hindi siya totoo at hindi siya nabubuhay sa mundong ito, Pat!”

Those last words caught my attention. I looked at him. He stiffened when he saw me looking.

“Pat, totoo ang sinasabi ko. Please naman oh, ilusyon lang ang lahat ng meron sa sinasabi mong Peter. He wasn’t existing here in the first place, kaya please lang, magpagaling ka na.” He was begging.

Suddenly, I remembered how he cried in front of Jayce’s grave in my dreams. He was in so much pain.

“Please, Pat, dalawin na natin si Kuya. Magpagaling ka na, please lang, Pa—” Natigilan siya nang dahan-dahan kong inabot ang kanyang pisngi at pinunasan ang luhang tumakas sa kanyang mga mata.

“Jayce was proud of you,” I whisper.

He froze, his eyes widening. A loud gasp came out of his mouth before he burst into tears. Yumuko siya at dumantay sa aking kamay, umiiyak sa aking hita. “KUYAAAAAA!”

My dream was right; he was in pain. I slowly rubbed my hand on his hair. “Kuyaaaaa!” He kept calling for his brother through his sobs.

If this was the reality, maybe this is the right time to wake up. If Peter didn’t really exist here, he would still never be forgotten in my heart. Peter, I will stand up again, and I want you to stay in my heart forever.

“Cole, I’m here for you. I will not leave you, and you will never be alone,” I whisper. He faced me and cried even harder.

This is the reality. I was still in the year of Jayce’s death, and I will start living as Cole’s sister. I won’t ever let him feel alone again. Maybe he was the reason why I woke up—to be by his side, to accept the reality, and start a new life.

Free, like what Jayce said.

Tatanggapin ko na ang lahat. Peter, you are not real, but my love for you will stay forever. Acceptance is the key to the freedom that Jayce wanted for me and for Cole.

“We will be starting a new chapter of life together,” I whisper to him and hugged him.

Siguro pinakita sa akin ang lahat ng iyon para sa araw na ito—para iligtas kaming dalawa ni Cole sa pagkalunod sa pagkamatay ni Jayce. And Peter was the bonus chapter of my illusions; he was made to make me realize the true meaning of love. And that was acceptance.

You will always be here in my heart, Peter. You are my love from a Neverland.

---

Three weeks have passed, and I’m finally discharged from the hospital. I’m finally healed, physically and emotionally.

“ATE PAT!!!!” There he was—my mission. The reason why I should stand and accept all of this.

Cole was running toward me while holding Jayce’s guitar. After what happened, I filed the papers to adopt him and be his family. Nalaman ko na inabandon siya nina Tito at Tita noong araw na mabangga ako at mamatay si Jayce. He stayed by my side because he had nowhere to go. They flew abroad after the funeral, which they didn’t even let Cole attend because they blamed the both of us for Jayce’s death.

Now, we are standing on our own like real siblings. “Sorry, may problema lang sa gig kanina kaya hindi na kita natulungan mag-ayos ng gamit. Akin na ’yan,” he said, grabbing my bags.

I smile at him and pat his head, just like what Jayce used to do. He calls for a taxi while I raise my head to look at the bright sky. Jayce, can you see me? I’m living the freedom you wanted for me. I know you’re happy there. Look after us, okay? Guide us on this new chapter.

“Ate Pat, tara na! Ito na ang taxi!”

Nang makasakay kami, walang tigil sa pagkuwento si Cole tungkol sa binuo niyang banda sa university. I was just listening to him the whole time.

“Malapit na akong gumraduate, Ate. Ang balak ko sana ay mag-pulis. Ano sa tingin mo?” I look at him and smile.

“You will be a great police officer in the future. Go for it; I will support you,” I said, remembering him wearing that uniform in my dream.

“TALAGA, ATE? SIGE, MAGPUPULIS NA LANG AKO!!!” masiglang sigaw niya. Nagtawanan kaming dalawa. This is the new start. And I’m ready for it.

NOVEMBER 01, 2015

“Ate, bilis! Excited na akong makita si Kuya!” Cole said while running through the memorial park. This is the first time we’re visiting Jayce’s tomb.

“Ayon!” He pulls me in front of the grave.

“Kamusta ka na, Kuya? Nakikita mo ba ito? Magaling na si Ate Pat… at dalawa na kaming dumadalaw sa’yo ngayon. Kuya, alam mo ba, malapit na akong grumaduate ng college at magpupulis ako. Alam kong proud ka sa akin. Wag ka mag-alala, Kuya, pagbubutihan ko.” Cole never stopped talking to his brother.

We spent the day there, eating and talking. “Jayce, I am finally free now, and thanks to you. I will never stop finding freedom, I promise. Cole will have me as his sister forever. Watch us, okay?” I said, smiling genuinely.

“Kuya, pano ba ’yan? Aalis na kami ni Ate. Babalik kami sa susunod. Panuorin mo kami sa langit; aabutin namin lahat ng pangarap natin.”

“Ate Pat, tara na.” I glance one last time at Jayce’s tomb before leaving.

Habang naglalakad kami, tumigil ako nang mabitawan ko ang dala kong panyo. Pagyukod ko para kunin ito, I froze. I stiffened when I saw the headstone right beside the path.

My heart pounded so fast as I read the name engraved on the cold marble:

“Peter Royce Gonzales”

“1998 – 2008”

FIN

---

Author: THANK YOU GUYS DAHIL UMABOT KAYO DITO.

PLEASE READ!!!

Hello,

New Readers and Old Babidawns, I’m here to sincerely apologize for ruining your expectation for this story, alam kong sobrang daming errors, typos, grammatical errors, wrong spellings sa story na ito. Hindi po kasi inaasahan na madaming magbabasa nito ngayon kaya hindi ko muna inabala ang pageedit ng mga stories ko. Alam kong mahirap magbasa ng mga story na maraming error, please just let me finish my on-going story and I promise to fix all of my errors to all my story. Please don’t expect too much, I’m just starting to grow in this flatform. Please bear with me and I’m really sorry.

-Dawnvellichor