Chapter 1 - Goodbye

A/N LIKE ALL MY OTHER STORIES, ANY PICTURES OF CHILDREN/ADULTS ARE JUST RANDOMLY SELECTED FROM CHILD ACTOR/MODEL PAGES OFF PINEREST/GOOGLE If the parents, family or models themselves wish for photos to be removed, please DM immediately.

Please take note. I am not affiliated in or have no knowledge of the true process of adoption. Anything said in this fic is used for storyline purposes only. I tried to focus on the positive side of adoption.

TW. ADOPTION SEPARATION.

Louis tried his best to distract his mind, his thoughts, his worries, and his pain. He continued to stare at the ground in front of him through teary eyes as his head lay sideways resting on his shoulder. He watched several sets of different feet scurry around him, their voices hazy as he tried his hardest to block them all out. He closed his eyes in the hopes of drowning out the sounds, but all he could hear were words his subconscious would never let him forget.

’ Scalpel ready’

’ The head is out’

’ He looks healthy ’

But nothing compared to the sound of his little baby boy, whose scream suddenly echoed throughout the delivery room. His lip trembled, as he cupped his own mouth in hopes of not letting himself break down, not here, not in front of anyone.

He knew this day was going to be hard. He had been dreading this moment for a full 9 months. He had a birthing plan in place and had somewhat prepared himself for the heartache which was to follow this heart-wrenching day. So he was shocked when out of the blue, he felt someone place the baby on his chest unexpectantly.

Louis laid there, his heart aflutter with trepidation. The air seemed to hold a distinct aroma, the sweet scent of pure innocence that only newborns possess. He could feel the gentle press of his baby’s tiny body against his hospital gown, a tangible connection that filled him with overwhelming emotion. Squeezing his eyes shut tightly, he tried to calm the rapid beats of his own heart, knowing that this precious moment held a world of possibilities and an unbreakable bond waiting to unfold.

“No, no, please… take him away.” he pleaded, his voice laced with unbearable agony. Tears streamed down his cheeks, no longer able to be concealed. The anguish in his heart was palpable as he felt his very being, crumble under the weight of his sorrow. “Oh God, please… take him away.” he sobbed, his cries echoing in the depths of his despair.

What the hell was going on? Louis had explicitly instructed that he shouldn’t lay eyes on his child, that the baby should be swiftly taken to the adoptive parent in the waiting room. The confusion and urgency surged through him, leaving him bewildered and anxious.

Out of natural instinct, Louis lifted his hand in an attempt to gently ’ shoo ’ it away. His heart broke as his hand made contact with a tiny soft fist. In such a quick motion the baby had latched onto Louis’ little pinky. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He retracted his hand immediately but only after he felt himself gently caress the little boy’s finger.

“Remove him now!” The surgeon’s booming voice pierced the air, filling the room with urgency. In that moment, Louis felt relieved as the weight of the baby was lifted from him, the sound of cries fading into the distance.

Amidst the chaos, a familiar voice reached his ears. It was Melissa, his compassionate case worker, her hand gently clasping his. “Louis, love, I’m so sorry. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” she whispered, her words laced with genuine remorse.

It wasn’t her fault but that of the replacement nurse who was called to theatre only moments prior to delivery. Clearly, she had not been informed of the adoption procedure currently in place. Louis tried to gently smile at Melissa but instead started to cry.

“ Let it out, love. “ Melissa gently stroked Louis’ hair as he looked to the ceiling and sobbed.

“ You made the right decision for you Louis. I just wish I had gotten here sooner. I feel terrible you had to endure all of this alone. “

Melissa truly had no idea how much her presence alone was consoling him because she was right. He was all alone. He had no family anymore, the only person he still stayed in contact with was his sister Lotti but he never told her about his pregnancy as he knew she would make him change his mind regarding the adoption. He lost all his friends when he split from his so-called ex ’ boyfriend’ evidently the baby’s father. The only friends he had were joint friends with Marcus and since their split, he hadn’t seen or heard from any of them.

“ It hurts Mel“ Louis cried as he clung to his chest.

Louis hyperventilated as he continued to wipe tears from his cheeks. Melissa tried to stay professional but it wasn’t easy. Louis had crept into her heart, his circumstances pulling at her heartstrings. She turned her face away from Louis and wiped her own tear in an attempt to conceal her emotions.

“ Remember why you are doing this love. You are one of the strongest and bravest 18-year-old boys I have ever known. I’m so proud of you.“

---

Louis spent the next five days in the hospital. Melissa visited him daily to check up on his emotional and physical well-being. Besides Melissa, there was no -one else. No one to ask if he was ok. No one to give him a cuddle. No one to provide a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen to.

He was lonely but in his mind, that was how it had to be, he didn’t want to burden anyone anymore. He could feel himself becoming depressed and all those doubts about his baby were slowly and surely starting to crawl back, even when he knew it was already too late.

Sleep remained a distant dream, no matter how hard he attempted to embrace it. His eyes, heavy and sore, drooped, and he let out an array of yawns, yet each time he shut his eyes, he heard it.

The cry…..

He prayed to God he would forget it. He didn’t want the reminder of how hard it was to turn away from his son but in the end, he didn’t want to forget, forget the very noise that reignites the guilt that consumes him. The sound had now embedded into his brain. The high pitch tone that even though he had only heard it once was now the most blessed and precious memory now locked away in the pit of his heart.

Throughout his pregnancy, he did everything in his power to not get attached to the life growing inside of him. He never acknowledged the kicks and movements. Not once did he touch his expanding stomach, nor did he ever look in the mirror.

Don’t misread the situation. Louis has always wanted children, he has always been fond of babies. However after being beaten and raped by his boyfriend Marcus while in the presence of Marcus’ best mate Toby in a brutal rape display, discovering his pregnancy was not an exciting occasion.

The idea of a baby growing inside him from his ex made him gag. He knew deep down inside that it wasn’t the baby’s fault, he was only an innocent product formed from a traumatic experience.

He really tried in the beginning. He really did. He often told himself:

’ The baby didn’t do it, Marcus did.’

He even tried to buy a pregnancy book to read but he left the shop before purchasing it. It was just all too difficult, every time he thought of anything baby-related he saw Marcus and with that memory repeatedly filling his mind, he was only reminded of the pain he had suffered.

He couldn’t help but wonder how he could possibly find himself loving a baby that could resemble Marcus, who would be a constant reminder of the worse night of his life. He loved that baby, so much so, he wanted them to go to a stable home. To be with someone who could look him in the eyes and only see nothing but love and that…was something Louis, unfortunately, couldn’t give him.

On his first visit with Melissa, he made the decision. It was already set in stone. Melissa explained that he needed time to think rationally before making a proper decision but there was no convincing him and from that moment on, no matter how many times he wanted to rub his belly when he felt a kick or how desperately he wanted to buy baby clothes, he pushed it all to the furthest part of his mind and focused on how to stay distant from his growing baby, because if he didn’t get attached to him, in his eyes, it wouldn’t hurt as much letting him go. If only he had known how untrue that really was.

---

~ 4 Years later ~

Time has gone very slowly for Louis. Every day, every night has been repetitive.

Wake, Work, Eat, Sleep, repeat.

The things that once made Louis smile and thrive were now non-existent. He no longer left his apartment or engaged with anyone. His life was somber, there was a massive void that couldn’t be filled and Louis knew why. When days turned into weeks and weeks into months and months into years, the same emptiness he felt never went away. The ache in his chest felt as strong as it did that sad day many years ago.

This day was the worse. 28th September. His birthday.

Like every previous year, Louis opened up his closet and reached for the box. He doesn’t know why he does it or maybe he does. He wants to feel the guilt and be reminded of how much of an asshole he feels for abandoning his baby.

He lifts the lid and pulls out the only item he has. The only thing that ties him to his baby.

Already he feels the tears swelling and the familiar ache in his stomach. He doesn’t know why he kept this, he didn’t even tell anyone he took it, not even Melissa.

He takes a deep breath knowing that the moment he sees it, the memories are going to overwhelm him. He unfolds the hospital gown he had worn during his c-section. Like normal, his eyes automatically find the blood stains of where his baby once briefly laid.

He brought the gown to his nose slightly inhaling but nothing. The smell over time has vanished.

He folds it back up and carefully places it back inside. He walks over to his bedside table opening the middle drawer. He pulls open the folder and reads over his copy of the adoption file.

He glances at his wishes for the adoptive parent.

● Not

a condition but rather a wish. I know I

have

no

right but

I’ve

always thought of him as a ’ Lachlan’. You do not have to use the name

, that

decision is entirely all yours. Maybe a middle name?

Louis loved the name. For as long as he can remember, he had always planned to name a son Lachlan. As his eyes scanned the paper he read over his agreements.

● Louis does not wish to meet the prospective parent.

● Louis only wishes that the baby will go to someone who will love him

unconditionally

as their own.

● Louis doesn’t mind

traditional

couples, gay/ lesbian

couples or

single parents.

No

one is to be turned down due to their

relationship

status . As long as they are financially stable and have a clean record and five star references.

● Louis wishes for a closed adoption.

No contact is to be made, pre or post-delivery.

● Once the baby is born, the selected parent will automatically be placed with the baby and must leave the hospital immediately after signing relevant forms.

● Louis wishes no contact with the baby once born. No skin-to-skin contact. No holds. He does not wish to view said baby. Baby to be removed from the room once born.

● Louis wishes to leave a note for new parent/s

● Louis wishes to leave a note for future baby only to be read once baby

reaches

of age (18)

Louis falls backwards onto his bed, and he lets out a frustrated sigh. He spends a few minutes pulling himself back together before making his way to the bathroom to splash some much welcomed water to his face to freshen up.

Unsure of what has driven the decision, keeping his eyes on his reflection he backs away from the mirror to fully see himself.

For the first time in 4 years, Louis lifts his jumper and comes face to face with his scar. He traces his finger along the line and stops when once again he tastes his salty tears.

Hopping into bed, he feels uneasy. He can’t stay still. He tosses and turns around in the sheets as thoughts fill his mind.

’ what does he look like?’ ’ what was his first word?’ ’ I wonder what his favorite food is?’ ’ what time does he go to bed?’ ’ I hope he is well loved ’

Louis makes a decision and not lightly.

He wants to find his baby.

Tomorrow Louis will start his journey of reuniting with his son…..hopefully. He understands that it’s not going to be easy and it may not turn out the way he expects but at this point in time, he is willing to try anything to mend his wrong choices. It’s not a want it’s a need. He needs to see his son… How things will turn out he isn’t sure, but his ready to find out.

In the end, we discover that to ’ love’ and to ’ let go’ can be one of the same.

---

A/N

There is the

first

chapter.

Thoughts on storyline, should

I

continue?

chapter 2 - Give Up Or Try Harder?

Here is how I see both Harry and Louis currently in this fic. They are both still young but very mature for their age.

22-year-old Louis Tomlinson

Harry Styles 25 years old

‘Adoption is not a birthmother’s rejection but that of unconditional love because that parent out of pure love chose their baby’s happiness and well being over their own.’

Those words use to traumatize Louis’ dreams for a very long period of time, but recently those same words have slightly comforted him lately, the words Melissa had once explained to him. However, sometimes he forgets that, especially when he is having a bad day. Every now and then and more often than he would like to admit, guilt, anger, sadness, and not enough patience consumes him entirely causing him to shut off, to give up.

Louis enters through his apartment door and throws his keys across the kitchen counter in anger. He stands still, his head lowered as he sighs. He squeezes his hands into fists, his skin becoming white at the knuckles.

“Fuccckkkk” He strains his voice a little hurting his throat as he screams. There are no tears anymore just the feeling of failure, regret, and dismay.

Another day with no answers. Once again he hasn’t achieved or progressed in his search for his son. He is on the verge of giving up as he is starting to run out of ideas and he has already tried everything he can think of.

Three weeks of nothing but disappointment. Three weeks of getting absolutely nowhere. The only thing he has accomplished in the last 21 days is more wasted time and energy. Unlike previous days he doesn’t even bother opening up his laptop to check his emails. What’s the point, he hasn’t had no response from anyone up until now, why would it be any different?

Instead, he heads upstairs and discards his clothes opting to jump straight into a steaming hot shower. He took the day off work, which he didn’t mind, anything beats loading and unloading furniture, deciding to head into the courthouse to enquire about local adoption laws.

It was no surprise that nobody showed any interest in helping him understand anything, all he seemed to get was a quick point in the right direction towards the town’s books and files on the subject and that was it, he was pretty much left to defend on his own.

By the time he emerges from the shower, he pulls on a pair of sweatpants and pours himself a cup of tea. Slumping down onto the couch he turns on the TV and flicks through all the stations twice. He still feels a little worked up, aggravated that luck is never on his side. He switches it off and sits in silence, the only sound being heard is that from the kitchen wall clock which is ticking annoyingly loud.

He has no idea how long he has been staring at the black screen before he is knocked out of his trance by the sound of his phone dinging. For a split second, he gets excited thinking someone may finally be responding but he is surely disappointed when it’s only a text from his boss reminding him he needed to start earlier tomorrow.

He yawns as he stands to stretch. Opening up the kitchen cupboard he collects a glass with the intent of drinking some water before he retires to bed.

That is…..until he’s eyes fall upon the bottle of Vodka that’s been hidden towards the back.

He knew it was there, he placed it there last year when he decided enough was enough. He finally drew the courage to admit he had a problem when he realized every night he was reciting the same words over and over ’ this will be the last glass’

For 3 years Louis heavily relied on alcohol. In the beginning, it kind of helped him numb the suffering but after a while, he soon realized that no matter how much he consumed, the alcohol wasn’t enough to eliminate the pain he felt from people he had loved and lost. For 7 months he has been clean but right now he can feel himself giving into temptation. The urge is strong as he grabs the bottle and shot glass and sits at the kitchen table. His hand is trembling as he pours the liquor. He brings it to his mouth the tip of the glass resting on his lips and stops.

’ Fuck! It smells inviting.’

Out of nowhere, Louis throws the shot across the room, glass fragments landing throughout the sink. He collapses his head onto the table and cries. He ponders why the life he has endured so far has been nothing but cruel. Louis is starting to believe in Karma. You get served what you deserve. The guilt within him from leaving his baby still heavily weighing him down.

Pulling back his blanket he crawls into bed. When he finally gets comfortable he opens up his emails on his phone and surprise surprise…… Nothing.

He leans over plugging the phone into the charger outlet and flicks off his bedside lamp. As he lies there in the dark he knows he has one last ounce of hope left. It was his very last resort but one he didn’t want to use.

Melissa.

He knew he could go and speak to her but he doesn’t want to hear the “ I told you so’s “ The… “ I told you to take more time“ The… “ Are you 100% sure you want to do this?“ But the one he doesn’t want to hear the most “ I can’t help you, Louis, you gave him away, so deal with it“

He lets out a loud sigh and rotates back and forth around the bed, his restless legs and anxious body not allowing him to relax. As usual, he only accomplishes a few hours of sleep.

---

With all the commotion going on in his brain last night, Louis is woken by the sound of his phone ringing.

“ Hello…….SHIT! I’m sorry. Be there in 5. “

Yep, he forgot to set his alarm for 6 instead of 7 for his earlier start.

The day doesn’t go well for Louis, not only did the day start off bad, it slowly became worse. By knock off time (4 pm) Louis’ boss had decided him being late again was the final straw and he was fired. Too many hangovers during the last few years had Louis pulling way too many sickies and he was warned if he was late again then he would be let go. In Louis’ mind, he deserved it. He fucked up once again. He can’t do anything right.

On the drive home, Louis’ mind was in all sorts of different places. When he shut off the engine he was surprised to notice he was not in his driveway but that of the parking lot of the adoption agency. They closed at 6 pm and it was only 4.35 pm and he knew Melissa was working, her red mini coupe was parked opposite from him.

Walking through the door he knew it was going to be hard but he didn’t expect the strong influx of painful memories to come clawing at his chest rigorously, finding it hard to breathe. After speaking to the receptionist, he only had to wait 10 minutes before Melissa came and invited him in.

“ I guess you didn’t expect to see me again? “ Louis tries to joke, the nerves surely kicking in.

“ I certainly didn’t no“

It’s then something clicks in Melissa whose eyes suddenly divert to Louis’ tummy and her eye’s saddened.

’ O h

God

, she thinks

I’m

knocked up again ’

“ Melissa no, I’m not….. I just wanted to have a chat I’m not…ah…needing a consult as such.“

Louis notices her face relax as she smiles softly.

“ Louis my love, sorry, how have you been? You look……good.“

He knows she’s referring to the last time they saw each other. Louis was blind drunk when they bumped into each other outside a Chinese takeaway shop. Louis had insisted he was fine after Melissa tried to organize another counseling session.

“ I am…much better…“

He feels like his lying but he’s not. He has quit the drinking so technically he is better than the last time they spoke.

“ What brings you here may I ask?“

Louis takes a deep breath as they both sit down at her desk. For the next 15 minutes, Louis lays it all out on the line. The way he really felt in the hospital, his guilt, his drinking, his depression, his recovery, and how he really wants his baby back. He can tell by the look on Melissa’s face that she feels sorry for him. Pity is plastered all over her and that’s when he knows she can’t help him. There’s no denying the way his heart sinks.

“ I’m so sorry Melissa, I shouldn’t have come here, what was I thinking, this was so silly, of course, I can’t have him back, I’m such a fool.“

Louis raises to his feet rubbing his hands over his face frantically. He feels totally embarrassed and just wants to get the hell out of there and try to save whatever dignity he has left.

“ Louis wait… If I could help you, I would, you know that right?“ Melissa says in an act to try and calm him down when she notices his wet eyes.

He wipes the tears away that are rolling down his cheeks. Melissa maneuvers around the desk engulfing him into a tight hug. Melissa would love nothing more than to help him, she watched a small scared lonely 18-year-old walk into her office and make the bravest decision of his life all on his own. Her heart is undoubtedly breaking for him.

“ Hey. Take a deep breath for me yeah. “

Melissa grabs Louis by his biceps and looks into his eyes.

“ What I’m about to say isn’t a lot but I hope it can serve as some sort of comfort for you. Your little boy went to a beautiful home Louis. His adopted father is a wonderful person who loves the little boy tremendously. Please trust me when I say he is in good hands and you have nothing to worry about. I am sorry however that in regards to finding him, I’m bound by law I’m extremely sorry. “

Louis pulls her in for another squeeze. Melissa may have been his case worker but she had also become his only friend. Her words did settle into his head, his heart now feeling a little bit reassured but the longing to find his son was still there and it didn’t look like it had no intention of going anywhere. With a sad smile, Louis kissed the side of her cheek.

“ Don’t be sorry. I knew deep down you couldn’t help, I’m grateful that you listened to me anyway. I’m sorry for intruding the way I did.“

“ Don’t you say that again mister, you are always welcome here no matter what, any time! “

As Louis exited the room Melissa sat down into her chair and tapped her pen against the table in deep thought. She felt stuck. She knows she can’t really do anything legally. It was a closed adoption. Everything is sealed but she wants nothing more than to help the troubled boy.

---

Making a stop off to grab some cigarettes and bread, Louis walks around the supermarket in a daze as his mind is racing. He doesnt know how he is going to pay his rent now and with all that’s been going on lately Louis mind is tired, very very tired. By the time he collects what he wants, goes through the checkout, and re-enters his car, he realizes he has made a decision.

To move on.

After Melissa made mention that his boy was happy and safe, Louis realized he could be semi ok with that knowledge, to let him go again, knowing he is loved and protected. With that, he can somehow find peace in that somewhere. He feels a small smile creep upon himself as he can at least say he tried. He tried to find a way to him. He tried to reunite them. He tried to mend his heart. He TRIED.

---

Four days pass by and Louis is in full job hunting mode. He is trying his hardest to move on. To bury the idea of ever meeting his son and focus on enjoying his life. He still doesn’t think he deserves it but he is finally allowing himself the opportunity to try.

He had found a job vacancy in a little music store which he thinks seems fitting. They had agreed to see him this afternoon and by the luck of the gods above, he scored the position. He spends an hour with his new boss Kevin going over the roster and pay along with detailed instructions on how to run the shop. When he gets into his car upon leaving, he straps his seatbelt on and cranks the cd player as he bops along to the tunes as he makes his way home.

For the first time in years, he is genuinely happy.

Walking up to his front door, he fumbles around in his pocket to find the key. When the door swings open Louis doesn’t notice the envelope on the ground straight away until he steps on it, the crunching sound gaining his attention. A white envelope had been slipped under his door with the words Louis Tomlinson written on it.

He’s hoping it’s not from his landlord. He had tried to explain to Frank that he lost his job and that he would pay double rent next week but the old man lightly grumbled something about “ You better “ before walking off.

He grabs a soda from the fridge and falls down onto the couch. Using his teeth he rips open one end and out falls a small piece of paper.

His pretty sure his eyes are playing tricks on him because there’s no way this is real. He isn’t this lucky. There before him lies the words.

“ I’m

sorry, it was all I could do, you never got it from me.

Louis looked down further and his heart almost stopped.

An Address……..

A/N

Thoughts on chapter? What are your predictions? Will Louis find his son? Will he even go now?

I’m so excited for the next chapter !!!! Eeek. 😁

Chapter 3 - The House

It’s the possibility of having a dream come true, that keeps life interesting but it can also keep you on edge. It’s probably the reason Louis hasn’t slept all night, not a single minute of shut-eye.

When the sun finally makes an appearance through the bedroom window, he heads straight into the shower ready to make a start for the long day ahead. He makes it a short one washing his hair quickly as he mentally tries to prepare himself for the 4-hour and 6-minute journey. He is hoping the trip doesn’t kill him. In the last 5 minutes alone he has yawned 16 times and he isn’t going to lie, the drive ahead is making him worried about arriving safely.

With that he mind, he grabs out a pair of black skinny jeans along with a plain white tee and a light denim jacket to complete his look. He quickly styles his hair as fast as he could settling on a messy quiff and decides to leave earlier than planned to stop off and grab an extra large coffee for the drive.

Picking up his backpack he heads out the door feeling some what excited. Thank God he doesn’t have to start his new job until Monday, the weekend now for the first time in years, finally providing a sense of purpose.

---

The first thing he notices when he arrives in town is that everything is fancy. The shops look expensive and the houses all seem posh. Pulling over to the side of the road, he uses his phone to google somewhere to stay. There was no way he could possibly drive back today. He manages to find what seems like the only hotel in the area and secures a room.

It’s nearing lunch time as he checks in. His body is begging for him to relax, to lay down and claim the nap he so desperately requires but his mind won’t have any of that. The adrenalin has been kicking in for the last hour making him a nervous but excited wreck.

Taking a look in the bathroom mirror he finds himself staring, doubt has suddenly entered the equation.

’ Is this the right thing to do?’

’ What if this all goes to shit? ’

He blows out a breath of air from his lips. Mentally he makes a note to remind himself that being afraid of things going wrong isn’t going to make things go right.

The rumblings of his stomach pull him out of his thoughts as he realizes his hungry and sets off for a walk in hopes of finding somewhere to eat.

---

The Cafe is on the smaller side but there’s something about it that makes it cozy, it could have something to do with the way the interior gives you a home-y type of impression which unfortunately makes it also really busy. The line is moving slowly and with each second that goes by he is positive his stomach is growling louder.

“ Louis? Louis Tomlinson?“

Snapping his head around super fast at the prospect of someone recognizing him, he comes face to face with an old but familiar friend.

“ Holy Crap Payno, how you going lad? Haven’t seen you in what 6 or 7 years? “

Louis extends his arm out for a handshake but Liam pulls him in for a manly hug.

“ Wow Tommo, you haven’t changed a bit since high school, what brings you to Holmes Chapel?“

“ I was going to ask you the same thing. Never thought I’d see you in a place like this, what happened to moving to Paris for cooking school?“

Liam smiles as he gently nods his head.

“ Yeah, long story bro…I’m happy here though. This Cafe keeps me busy and pays the bills so I can’t complain.

Louis notices Liam look off back towards the counter as he smiles fondly. Louis notices the cute brown-haired lad happily conversing with a customer.

“ Oh!! I see, my bet is maybe that handsome person has something to do with it? “ Louis teases as Liam blushes.

“ Hey SSH don’t jinx the progress I’ve already made. Anyway, follow me I will take you to the front yeah?“

“ I’m literally starving I won’t even decline that offer. Thank you“

After exchanging numbers and filling his tummy with a large burger and fries he exits the Cafe and once again his thoughts divert back to the current situation. He types the address into his GPS and holy crap it’s only a 3-minute drive away. Louis notices as he accelerates off that his hands are getting sweaty, so much so they are slipping on his leather steering wheel.

Louis breathe, you got this!

He half believed himself for a quick moment, well that was until he arrived at his destination. Not once not twice but three times he doubled checked to make sure the address was correct.

Shit.

If he was nervous before, there’s no way to explain the current taste of burning bile brewing in the back of his throat. Turning off the engine, he is quite content to just sit in the car that he has parked opposite the large opened gates. At the present time, he can’t find the bravery to approach the house. For 22 minutes he has sat there quietly and still. Maybe he could just sit there and wait, a glimpse is all he would need. Just one glance of his boy, one sighting just to ease his mind and he could return back home to London. He starts tapping his knees which are bouncing erratically.

29 minutes. He opens the door with no delay and hops out locking the worn out Ford in a hurry so he has no chance to change his mind.

Fucking hell the drive way alone is a fair walk. From the gates, he couldn’t see the house, which was probably a good thing because now he wishes he had stayed put behind the wheel. He contemplates leaving but soon enough his arrived meters from the house’s entrance. Taking a look around, he feels 100% out of place.

This house was way beyond what he had expected to see, nothing like he had ever imagined. There was a mixture of happiness knowing that his son was living in some sort of well-off lifestyle and that he must be well looked after and never have to worry about money. With that same thought also came sadness, because as happy as he was that his son was placed with someone with good means, it made him realize that what his son had now, was a life Louis couldn’t have possibly provided for him.

The house alone was stunning situated on at least a couple of acres. The ‘mansion’ stood there embraced by the surrounding abundance of greenery. To Louis he hadn’t seen such a nice house up close, it was truly breathtaking.

As he slowly crept towards the front door across the concrete driveway, his eyes continuously swept around the yard noticing the beautiful gardens.

It wasn’t long until Louis was face to face with a door.

A door that possibly was the only thing standing between him and his son.

With a final breath, Louis reluctantly raises his fist to knock but quickly hesitates before his knuckle comes into contact with the large brown wooden door.

’ This is a huge mistake’

He thought to himself. He nervously shoved his hands into his jean pockets as he swayed back and forth on his feet.

He debated with the voices that were wrestling inside his brain.

’ Come on Louis knock, this is what you have been waiting for’

’ Louis you idiot turn around and leave, look at this place, he is clearly doing well without you’

With a frown evident upon his face, he bit the corner of his lip anxiously as he shook his head side to side signaling a ’ No I’m out of here’ as he stared at the door, only then he had settled on the decision.

He managed to produce a sad but defeated smile trying to convince himself that turning around and leaving was indeed the correct choice, even when it felt like nothing but a slap to the face.

Louis felt his heart rate rise higher if that was deemed possible, his hormones rushing throughout him simultaneously sending his body into fight or flight mode. The discomfort became too much. He turned around swiftly to leave and managed to acquire two steps before he froze with fear.

“ May I help you?“

A deep male’s voice appeared out of nowhere startling him to the core.

Fuck .

Never in his existence had he felt so frightened. In all legal sense, Louis was currently breaking many laws just by being here.

Louis gradually turned back around unsure of what the fuck to do as panic set in. However, when he did, there was no -one there. Confused he looked around himself a full 360° degrees.

“ Top left corner“ the slow husky voice sounded again.

Raising his head he sees the security camera pointed right at him. Embarrassed, he lowered his head and mumbled.

“ I’m sorry. Wrong house. I was just leaving. “ he recites quickly hoping his answer sounded convincing.

“ Wait!“ The unidentified man says a little more forcefully.

Louis hears the sound of a dead lock opening and holy shit, the air in Louis’ windpipe comes to a halt as he finds it hard to swallow. The man before him was pure art, tall and with no mistake utterly handsome. He had long hair that was thrown up into a bun, a true world class of beauty. His skin was perfectly tanned, he couldn’t help but notice as he stood there in a low lying pair of grey sweatpants and a light blue t-shirt.

Louis took a small step back as the man stepped closer. It wasn’t until the gentleman extended his arm out as a welcome gesture and flashed the prettiest smile that Louis had ever seen, that he then relaxed a little.

“ Oh. “ Louis leaned forward engaging in a handshake. He had forgotten how sweaty his palms had become and his face beamed bright red with embarrassment as Harry had noticeably felt it by the way his eyes looked to their joined hands.

“ Oops!“ Louis said shyly as he quickly rubbed his hands down his jeans trying to rid the perspiration.

“ Hi…… I’m Harry.“

“ Louis. Nice to meet you. I’m sorry I’ve clearly got the wrong house, you are not the person I was looking for. I’m so sorry for the misunderstanding. I will be on my way.“

Harry stared at the young lad with a fondness that Louis had clearly missed since he couldn’t continue eye contact.

“ No that’s fine. Don’t be sorry, who were you looking for? It’s a small town I might be able to help you in the right direction.“

Louis screams to himself internally as he hadn’t thought of any story to explain why he was knocking on the door. He hadn’t thought this through enough.

’

Shit shit double fucking shit’

It’s not often that Louis’ mind goes blank but as he comes into close view with a set of alluring forest green eyes words awkwardly start to tumble out his mouth.

“ Oh yeah..um..erm..“

He tries hard to think of any name on the spot.

“ Anne. Yeah, I was hoping to meet up with Anne.“ He finishes, secretly proud of himself for his quick cover.

Harry smiles gently, amused with the man who was clearly a bundle of nerves standing before him.

“ I’m sorry, Anne doesn’t live here nor has she ever. Sorry.“

Louis tries not to smirk when he realizes Harry believed him but no soon enough Harry continued to speak.

“My mother’s name is Anne but she lives in Manchester now, she use to live not far from here. She married not too long ago and goes by Anne twist now. Is that who you are looking for?”

Louis starts to plan his funeral inside his head because he is on the verge of dropping dead. Really? The one name he plucked randomly out of millions was none other than this man’s mother. What were the freaking odds?

“ No ah…Anne Stokes..yeah Mrs Stokes.“

Harry frowned as though in deep thought and Louis couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked.

’ Stokes!?! What the fuck Louis? stokes !?! Like you

couldn’t

have thought of something more believeable’

“ Stokes you say, hmm can’t say I know of anyone by that name.“

“ No worries, I should really get…“

Louis Stops mid sentence when he remembers the very reason as to why he was there in the first place, and that was only because he was frozen in place by the sound of tiny footsteps approaching.

He watches as Harry’s head lowers as a small body collides with his leg.

“ Papa, what you doing?“

The little boy clung to Harry as he eyed Louis curiously.

“ Hey munchkin, Papa is just chatting with this lovely man for a moment. How about you decide on a movie to watch and I will be there in a second ok“ Harry said so sweetly to the boy as he ruffled his hair, but the little lad continue to just stare.

Louis couldn’t move or speak or function in any sort of way for that matter. His eyes laid upon the boy who Louis knew was definitely his. He saw the sandy coloured hair from Marcus, he saw his own little button nose from himself, and he saw his own blue eyes shining back at him.

If you listened close enough you could hear Louis’ heart breaking in two. How had he chosen to hand this adorable little boy over was making Louis feel sick to his stomach. He was truly beautiful.

“ Who is dis Papa?“

Harry leaned down closer to the boy.

“ He is a little lost, darling. Papa is just trying to help him that’s all. You can say hello if you like.“

Louis was trying to savor every moment.

Every word Every movement Every sound.

He tried to record the entire scene with his eyes so he could cherish this once off meeting forever. As shy as he seemed a little trembly voice was music to Louis’ ears.

“ Hellow. My name is Lachlan but Papa calls me Lachy..it’s my pick name.“

Harry laughs as he turns to Lachlan.

“ You mean Nickname..not pick name“

Lachlan frowns as he thinks then giggles.

“ Silly Papa that’s wot I said.“

Louis hasn’t responded and he knows he must look rude but Louis is still stuck at the word “Lachlan”.

Harry called him Lachlan like he had wished for.

Louis kneels down to his level coming face to face with his boy, blue eyes meeting blue eyes for the very first time.

“ Hi there. Nice to meet you Lachlan. My name is Louis but my friends call me Lou, it’s my pick name“ he says winking at the boy who laughs hysterically back.

The little bubbly laughter sends Louis’ emotions through the roof and suddenly his eyes are filled to the brim with tears and right now he needs to get out of here asap before he breaks down crying without having an explanation as to what the hell is happening.

He stands quickly looking to Harry who has been watching on happily.

“ I must get going…um..yeah….thanks for trying to help. Nice meeting you.“

Harry’s eyes open wide, his eyebrows raised shocked at the sudden change in Louis’ demeanor.

It was all he can splurt out before turning around fast and exiting down the driveway as tears flood his cheeks. There’s no turning back. His moving at a fast pace, So quick that he doesn’t even notice or feel his wallet slide out of his back pocket and fall to the ground.

Harry however notices and calls out his name but Louis is too far ahead to stop and listen. Within a few short seconds, Louis is out of sight. Harry walks down the driveway picking up the wallet holding it in his hand as Lachlan grabs his other.

“ He is pretty papa“

Harry smiles back down at him.

“ Yes. Yes he is, isn’t he.“

Meanwhile, Louis reaches his car, his heart pumping violently as he now comes to terms with how unfit he must be. He starts the car immediately and tears off down the street.

The whole drive back to the hotel had Louis hyperventilating.

After four years, his baby, his beautiful little boy had been right there. Right in front of him, only an arm’s reach away. Louis opened the hotel door and threw himself backwards onto the bed and just cried. He didn’t care how loud he sobbed as the visions of his perfect soft skin, his perfectly styled hair, his cute tiny overalls and his adorable little voice replayed over and over in his mind.

When Louis finally managed to pull himself together, he thought about tomorrow.

Tomorrow he was to return home. But how? How could he possibly walk away from his son once again? Especially now that he has seen him. His heart hurts in a way he has never felt before because Tomorrow he doesn’t want to leave. His heart is already yearning to return to Lachlan.

When it comes time to sleep Louis closes his eyes and places a hand over his heart emitting a small smile to form. The last thing he sees before he falls asleep is little ocean-blue eyes and then a flash of green before falling into a deep slumber.

For the last four years, Louis’ heart had broken over and over again every single day. Today however, his heart was tremendously restored….all thanks to a simple “Hello”.

---

A/N

Thoughts on chapter ?

Will Louis leave ?

What did you think of Harry and

Lachlan’s

introduction?

If you are liking the story please remember to vote, comment & share !

♡♡♡

Chapter 4 - Last Look ?

A/N

Sorry for the 2 week wait.

I’ve

been battling a never ending migraine making it hard to look at

screens

for too long.

I’m

so sorry. :(

Louis wishes he could turn back time. To revisit his past and correct all the wrong choices he has ever made. But what’s done is done. You simply can not travel backwards, you can’t ’ rewind the clock’ unfortunately. The choices you made, the ones you didn’t. The roads you took, turning left when you should have turned right. It all paved the way to where you are now.

It is what it is.

Lucky for you, you can wind the clock back up and start again.

Louis is watching the minutes pass by on the small round clock situated on the wall opposite his bed. He slept ok last night, the long drive and meeting Lachlan had taken a huge toll on his body, physically and mentally.

9.22 am.

He groans as he pushes back the covers and races across the room to place his jacket on. It’s cold this morning, his fingers are icy as he hurried to pack his belongings. The check out time was 10 am and he already had slept longer than he had anticipated. Having paid for his room on arrival he only had to drop the key inside the secure box outside the reception office upon leaving.

The rain was coming down harder now as he tried to jog to his vehicle, his pace increasing as he tried his best to avoid stepping in the puddles. He opened the driver’s side door and flung his backpack into the front passenger seat. Sitting there for a couple of seconds, he banged his hands impatiently on the wheel as he thought about what to do.

Coffee…he definitely needed some caffeine. First and foremost.

Starting the car, he took the short drive back to the only place he knew of, the Cafe. Louis kind of hoped Liam was working again, he really was not looking forward to another long line …and of course to, you know, talk to him again, say goodbye.

Upon arriving, the first thing he had noticed was even though it was pouring down the customers were still out on the path waiting.

Fucking hell.

What

is the

Coffee

and food made out of …gold?

He keeps propping his head around in all directions searching for Liam, he really would love to cut this line. However, it seems luck is not on his side today as he doesn’t appear to be working. After 15 minutes goes by Louis finally reaches the front of the queue. There are people chatting amongst themselves quietly and the sound of coffee machines are fulfilling throughout the room.

“ Morning, what can I get for you?“

Louis orders his extra large Latte with normal milk and no sugar. He eyes over the pastries in the glass display unit before quickly deciding on a blueberry muffin. 

“ That will be $8.50“

Louis’ hand dives into his jacket pockets…nope…He feels around his jean pockets…nope.

Shit.

Unknown to Louis, Harry was seated in a corner stall watching on the entire time. 

Harry notices the way Louis is frantically patting his pockets, panic stricken as the realisation hits him that he doesn’t have his wallet. Harry, who had arrived half an hour ago was visiting his mates who also worked at the Cafe. He wants to go over and hand his wallet back to him and put him out of his misery but he kind of adores the way Louis lips pout and the way he frowns causing little creases along his forehead. He starts to move towards him when he watches Louis run his hand through his hair looking embarrassed as he notices the person behind him telling him to hurry up.

“ I really don’t want to be that guy but I really do need to move along to the next customer if you haven’t got any money.“ Zayn said low and shyly hating the fact he had to say it.

Louis smiled apologetically. “ Shit I’m so sorry, I seemed to have  misplaced my..“

“ Wallet?“ A man interrupts as he finished Louis sentence.

Louis spun around to face the voice behind him, one he knew he would never have a hard time forgetting. 

“ Harry..Hi.“

“ Hey, so ..here..I believe you might need this yeah?“

Louis looked at his wallet in Harry’s hand that was being extended out to him.

“ Oh my goodness thankyou“

Without hesitation, he grabs out his card and quickly hands it to Zayn, who is trying his hardest to conceal his smile as he watches the scene unfold before him.

“ Won’t be too long take a seat. I will bring it over when it’s ready.“ Zayn mentions politely as he turns to send Harry a sly smirk that misses Louis eyes.

“ So how exactly did you come into possession of my wallet?“ Louis asks as they both seemingly walk side by side towards a spare table.

“ Oh, I didn’t pick pocket it or anything..“ he laughs. “You um, it kind of fell out your jeans when you left yesterday.”

Harry awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. The atmosphere quickly becoming uncomfortable.

“ Oh.. thankyou I hadn’t realised, hadn’t needed it up until now.“

Louis looked away as he remembered the reason he ran in the first place. His eyes skimmed the Cafe searching for Lachlan but he was no where to be seen.

“ Did I like, you know offend you somehow or say anything out of line yesterday? If I did, I’m truly sorry“

Louis’ gaze returns to Harry as he fumbles to find words, any words to force a cover story.

“ No Harry no, you didn’t do anything as such no. I just remembered I had a few things to do and not enough time to do it all. That’s all. I’m extremely sorry if I appeared rude with my sudden departure, it wasn’t my intention.“

There’s no time for either to reply as they both turn their heads in the direction of the doorway when they hear a loud call

“ Louis !!“

Liam approaches quickly with a blonde-haired guy beside him. Liam pats Louis shoulder.

“ Didn’t think I’d see you so soon lad.“ Liam pauses as he becomes aware of Harry standing next to him.

“ Oh H, I’m sorry I didn’t recognise you there for a second…wait… do you guys know each other?“

Harry looks to Louis and Louis looks to Harry.

“ Yeah kind of, we met briefly yesterday.“ Harry says his voice slightly bashful.

The blonde-haired boy moved himself marginally positioning himself between the two as he offered his hand out for a shake.

“ Oh..you are THE Louis. The one Harry wouldn’t stop talk- ….“

With a sudden stomp to his foot, he stopped mid sentence turning to face Harry.

“ Oww..what did you do that for?“

Harry wished that just once, just once Niall would use his brains for a change. He can feel his cheeks flush. He may have mentioned to the guys late last night in their group chat about a rather handsome looking guy who had showed up randomly at his door by the name of Louis and well Harry was rather fond of the blue eyed boy, thou he wouldn’t yet openly admit it.

Niall looked back and forth between the two men smiling when he noticed them both turned away with semi red cheeks.

“ Excuse me for a moment“ Niall says as he disappeared, leaving the others to indulge in small talk. A couple of minutes pass before both Niall and Zayn re-join the table.

“ Latte, normal milk, no sugar“ Zayn, hands the takeaway cup over with a small smirk.

“ Thanks“

Louis takes hold of his coffee and sips it instantly.

“ Well, I really do need to be going.“

Louis searched the Cafe one last time. Still no sign of Lachlan. It really stung his heart. What he would give to have seen him just one last time.

“ Me too, my mum is due home with Lachlan any minute.“ Harry says making Louis snap his eyes in his direction.

Hearing the name out loud, caused a lump to form in his throat. Saying a quick goodbye to Liam he makes a move to leave.

Funny enough, both Harry and Louis bee-lined for the exit. Upon reaching the outside pavement Louis is glad to notice the rain has stopped and the sun is out. Harry nodded his head slightly, indicating a polite ’ goodbye’ gesture.

“ It was nice to have seen you again Lou. Enjoy your coffee.“

And with that Harry and his long legs were Fading off into the distance. Louis stood there, lost in his thoughts as he took in his surroundings. He really didn’t want to leave but he had no choice. He starts his new job tomorrow and it’s a long drive home.

By the time he reaches the outskirts of town he pulls over. He leans his head back against his headrest and sighs. He doesn’t even have to think twice, he turns the car around immediately, dust being kicked up from the ground as he speeds back.

By the time he reaches Harry’s house, he finds himself once again sitting in the car in the very same spot he was only the day prior. He doesn’t have no plans on getting out this time just praying and praying to a God he isn’t sure is listening that he can get just one last look at his boy.

What he didn’t expect, was to look out the window and see Harry approaching his gates. Louis slides down into his seat a little further, the thudding of his chest increasing as he relies on all and any type of faith to remain unseen.

Watching on, Harry collects his phone from his pocket and proceeds to answer a call. Looking each way down the road, Harry then starts waving to an approaching car as Louis then notices a yellow sedan park right in front of Harry’s gates.

It’s at this moment Louis realises that dreams hopes and wishes can all come true, you just have to have the persistence to pursue them because the voice of a beautiful little angel then fulfilled his ears.

“ Papa….“

Lachlan emerged from the car running quickly towards Harry. With his arms stretched out wide, he jumped up into his welcoming embrace.

“ Hey munchkin, you have fun at grandma’s? “

“ I did I did, we cooked cookies and played Lego and grandma hurt her foot on them, it was really really funny and I laughed but grandma didn’t, she even said a naughty word and then we went to the park and then it rained.“

Louis couldn’t help but smile at how adorably happy and excited his son was. He felt so relieved that he could hear so clearly with just a little bit of the window open. The smile was soon replaced with sorrow as Louis wanted to continue hearing his heart warming voice every single day.

“ Well I’m glad you had fun today but you are going to hop straight into the bath, look at your grubby fingers. “

Louis peered over to witness Lachlan’s teeth grinning smile.

“ Ok Ok. Bye grandma“

Louis watched as Harry’s mother, who he already knows is Named Anne, steps forward placing a kiss on her grandson’s forehead.

“ I can not wait til you come back little man. You were such a big helper today. Oh….hang on don’t forget this….“

Anne walks back to her vehicle collecting an item and returns to Lachlan placing the ball in his hands.

“ Papa grandma got me a ball now we play football.“

“ Lachy darling Papa has told you many times I’m no good with football, I fall over my own feet and don’t know the rules.“

Harry notices Lachys smile fall and quickly adds.

“ But we can just kick it back and forth ok.“

Placing Lachy on the ground he begins to run quickly up the driveway. Harry looks to his mum and shakes his head.

“ Thanks, mum“

“ No worries love…and he loves football Harry he is totally obsessed with it. Just play with him a little.“

Anne sends Lachlan one last wave before returning to her car to leave. Louis watches as Harry jogs up to Lachlan who is happily kicking the ball on the grass and Louis finds himself just wanting to jump out and go join them.

A tear has formed and fallen down his cheek which he wipes quickly. Taking a couple of deep breaths he looks over one last time just to see Lachlan jump on top of Harry who has fallen to the ground. They look joyful and even though Louis feels the complete opposite right now he does feel content. His boy is loved His boy has a nice roof over his head. His boy is clothed nicely and smiles magically. His boy’s voice is sweet and he is well mannered.

His boy …………is happy.

Sometimes your heart needs a little more time to accept what your mind already knows.

Lachlan doesn’t need him.

Feeling his lip quiver he digs deep down into his inner self. As hard as it was, he somehow manages to find the courage to leave and the strength to not look back.

---

The ride back to London was long and mentally exhausting. It was hard to focus on the road when his mind kept drifting off to little blue eyes. His eye sockets hurt and his heart stung but as he parked the car when he finally arrived home he knew it was all worth it, even if he now had to try and mend his shattered heart pieces that were created from walking away.

Collecting his bag he spends the next hour unpacking his clothes. He chucks some clothes into the washing machine and prepares everything for his big job debut tomorrow. It’s only late afternoon. Wanting to have a fresh clean start in the morning he remembers how untidy his car has become. He won’t admit it but even as tired as he is from the long drive he needs to keep his mind busy.

It doesn’t take long to fill a bag full of rubbish. With McDonald’s wrappers covering the entirety of the back floor he was amazed by how different the car looked and smelt after he removed it all. There wasn’t much in the front, a couple of chocolate wrappers, a coke bottle and his empty coffee cup. He collects them all walking to throw them into his trash bin. He just about lets go of the coffee cup when something catches his eye off guard. Pulling it closer his eyes widen surprised at the words written in pen. It’s a phone number with the name Harry above it.

Discarding the other rubbish he takes the cup inside. Not knowing how why or when this happened all Louis can think to himself is the word NO.

No. He can not call him. No. He can not get involved with Harry at all. He made the choice to turn away and he has. He saw his little lad and that’s all he wanted.  No.. ..no no no…nope not going to happen.

He is adamant about his decision, however, he can’t explain why he is having trouble ditching the cup. Instead, he proceeds to his room where he places it on his bedside table. Why he has no idea because for the next 5 days it does nothing but haunt him every time he goes to bed. It’s just a constant reminder of a life he simply can’t have.

Working at his new job has been a breath of fresh air. His boss is great and down to earth. A funny guy who isn’t too serious with himself. The work is easy and the pay is decent. His working hours also suit him, so there’s not much for him to complain about.

Each and every day this week Louis has been cleaning. He knows it’s a coping mechanism. The busier he is the less time to drown in his own thoughts. When he collapses down onto his bed at 8 pm, like all the nights prior, he stares at the cup.

Tonight, something changes. There’s no reason to why or where the sudden urge comes from but Louis grabs his phone and before he fully understands what it is he is doing, all he can hear is the call connecting.

“ Hello“

The deep raspy voice echoes through the line making Louis jump from the bed and begin pacing his room.

“ Hello“ Harry repeats again as Louis loses the confidence to speak.

“ Um..hey… Hi…“

Louis knew this was going to be weird and some what awkward but he still wasn’t prepared for it.

“ Who is this?“ Harry asks.

“ Oh shit yeah ah its Louis, we kind of met last week on your doorstep“

The words rush out of Louis mouth rather quickly as nerves get the better of him.

“ Louis! ..yeah I remember. I should have recognised the voice, it’s kind of unique. I’m glad to hear from you don’t get me wrong but, how did you get my number?“

Louis frowns, a little confused at the question.

“ My coffee cup. You left your number on my cup the other day at the Cafe.“

The line goes silent for a brief second before a frustrated but amused sound escapes Harry’s lips.

“ Bloody Niall.“

Louis has no idea what is happening and then it clicks.

“ Oh my god. You didn’t write it. Oh shit. This is embarrassing oh my god. I’m so sorry Harry. Forget I called. Again I’m sorry. Goodbye.“

Louis’ heart is racing as he succumbs to all sorts of embarrassment. He doesn’t know why it’s affecting him so much. He doesn’t deny how good looking Harry is but he wouldn’t date him. He knows it’s not morally right. It would be wrong of him to do so with his secret that he holds tightly.

Then again becoming friends with Harry means seeing Lachlan. The thoughts swarm his mind and he hates himself. The fact is, if given the chance, he could and would probably use Harry for his own advantage, if it meant he could see his child again.

No one in this life knows what’s a good idea or a bad idea until you try it.

He tried it. He called the number and it went to shit. With all these current ideas floating in his head, he is now reassured it was definitely a bad idea.

Or was it?

Unknown to Louis, Harry remained laid on the couch, a small smile still etched on the corner of his lips. The unexpected call had Harry feeling several different emotions. Nervous, worried, scared, completely out of practice and his comfort zone but even with all that, the amount of butterflies swarming his belly outweighed them all.

Harry continued to stare at his phone. His eyes now glued to the recent new added contact name. All he can think about now, is that he hopes that soon enough in the near future, it may ring again.

Harry dials out on his keypad.

“ Hey, Harry what’s up?“

“ It was you, wasn’t it? Why did you do that? You should have asked me first. I only said he was cute. You didn’t need to do that.“

“ Oohhh he called then. Took him long enough.“

“ Yes Niall he did“

“ Well, he should have called earlier, like the first 24 hours. Now I owe Zayn $20.“

“ Jesus Christ“  Harry laughs.

---

A/N

Next chapter

I

will start to introduce

Harry’s

side a little more.

Thoughts

on chapter?

A massive thank you to Suselat for helping me with my dilemmas.

♡♡♡

PLEASE VOTE COMMENT AND SHARE. IT KEEPS ME MOTIVATED AND I LOVE ALL YOUR COMMENTS AND INPUT.

Chapter 5 - LOST

A/N

Sorry

I

haven’t

proof read.

Also, wattpad wasn’t

allowing me to dedicate properly but this chapter is for

aasiiee

thankyou for all your on going comments ♡♡♡

---

’Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is admit you are scared. ’

Harry has bitten the nail of his little pinky so furiously that he can now taste blood from where his teeth have tore through his skin. His nerves are skyrocketing as Niall once again presses the issue.

“ Niall look I’m just not ready. I can’t do it.“

Sitting down beside him on the grass Niall cracks open the lid to his beer taking a gulp before returning his full attention to his best friend.

“ I do think you are ready, I just think maybe you are scared, worried after what Ben put you through and…“

“ Niall please don’t…“

“ Harry please listen to me. You have dedicated the last 4 years of your life entirely to that little boy over there.“

Both boys divert their eyes in the direction of where Lachy is playing peacefully on his backyard playset.

“ You are a fantastic parent and I’m so dam proud of everything you have endured and how far you have come. As your best friend, I want to see you truly happy you know. I understand Lachy makes you happy don’t get defensive“ Niall adds seeing Harry frown at his words.

“ You know what I mean. In the last 4 years, I have not once seen you even look at another man or show any interest in anyone the way you did to Louis a few weeks ago. It’s ok H, you are allowed to be happy and in love too. You just need to apply a bit of faith and be brave. Make a move. Look me in the eye and tell me you are not disappointed that he didn’t call back.“

Harry is focused on the grass he is now plucking with his fingers as his mind tries to take in Niall’s comments. He exhales sharply trying to find the words to explain how he feels. Of course, what Niall is saying is true. He has felt incredibly lonely lately. Having someone to fall asleep with, wake up beside him, and enjoy life with all sounds great but to what cost?

Harry’s last partner Ben left him and their planned out future in total shreds, leaving Harry believing true love was something he would never get to experience and he had made peace with that, or so he had thought. The only thing that matters in Harry’s life is his son. To hell with relationships because if Ben taught him anything in the 3 years they were together, it’s that men can’t be trusted.

“ I know you mean well Ni, but I am really hap-“

“ One thing about our friendship H, is that I can also tell when you are lying. You like him right? You admitted he was cute, you wouldn’t shut up about him and my god I even saw you try and flirt“

Harry can’t hide the small smile that makes its way to his face.

“ See….. Just call him.“

Adding up the pros and cons in his head, he can’t deny he would at least like to see him again but as per usual Harry’s confidence swallows him whole.

“ Niall he hung up last time. He sounded like he regretted calling in the first place. He never called back.“

Niall stood up from the ground dusting off the grass from his pants.

“ Harry he was probably just as scared as you are now. Look I’m no expert in relationships but it’s clear to anyone who saw, there’s an attraction there from both sides. You won’t ever know if it could go further if you don’t try.“

Standing up himself he stretches out his body, his back cracking in the process. Looking over to Lachlan and then back to Niall, Harry scoffs as Niall smiles ridiculously.

“ Ok. I will think about it.“

Niall mockingly threw an air punch as Lachlan ran over to join them.

“ Guess what Lachy, Papa is going to go on a date.“

“ NIALL !!!! “ Harry scorns.

“ What !?!“ Niall giggles. “He doesn’t know what it means.”

Lachlan crosses his arms and frowns at Harry in confusion.

“ What’s a date, Papa?“

Niall takes that as his cue to leave.

“ On that note, see you on Saturday Styles!“

“ Yeah thanks, Ni, thanks a lot.“

Harry looks back at Lachlan who is still waiting patiently for his answer.

“ It’s just spending time with your friends that’s all.“ Harry lies but Lachlan seems to accept it.

“ Wanna play ball?“

“ Sorry munchkin, it’s time to start cooking, so come on, inside and wash those hands.“

---

The week for Louis has passed by quickly. His new job is relatively easy and Kevin ( his boss) has become somewhat of a new friend. He is only 2 years older than Louis so they get along really well. So much so that Kevin asked Louis out for drinks 3 times this week, tonight being the third.

The bar they have been going to is on the quiet side which Louis has loved. Not many people and low lying music makes chit chat easy to hear. After Kevin downs a few beers and Louis sips on his soda they play a few games of pool.

Kevin didn’t ask any questions or invade his privacy when Louis refused any alcohol on the first two nights and now Kevin, who has realised he doesn’t drink, doesn’t push it and always buys him non-alcoholic beverages. That is also why Louis thinks…… He may have just befriended one of the nicest guys in London.

The thing Louis loves most about Kevin is the laughs. He is one funny guy and after years of feeling all alone with no purpose, he is relishing in his new social scene. Louis could honestly admit that Kevin was 100 % someone he would date… If he wasn’t straight and already married.

They are halfway through a conversation about concerts they have been to when Louis feels his phone vibrating. Noticing the caller ID Louis can not help but smile at the name. He excuses himself quickly and heads to the exit door not only to hear clearer but to get a better signal.

“ Hello….I’m good thanks and yourself?…….. I am surprised actually, Well to be fair I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so yeah surprised but glad. What’s going on?………..Um……yeah sure. I’d love to catch up…….Ok, see you then.“

Hanging up the phone, he is a little taken aback at the unexpected call. Upon returning to his seat, Kevin who notices Louis sudden happiness cannot help but query.

“ Who’s got you looking like that hey?“

Louis scrunches his nose playfully.

“ No it’s not like that but it does seem I will be heading to Holmes chapel on Saturday.“

---

‘Welcome to Holmes Chapel’

Louis watches the sign as he speeds past it. Leaving the house at 7 am this morning he has arrived just before lunch. Looking at his watch he decides to return to the same hotel and book a night. What he wasn’t expecting was for the place to be fully booked out.

“ What do you mean there are no rooms available.“ Louis didn’t mean for it to come out sounding rude, it wasn’t supposed to. He just couldn’t believe his luck.

“ I’m sorry, there’s a football final on today and we always get inundated with tourists for the finals. I’m so sorry.“

Louis lets out a frustrated sigh.

“ I will work something out thankyou anyway.“

Returning to his car he takes out his phone.

Again no answer.

What the hell? Why would anyone invite someone into town to spend time with them but not answer their calls? He tries again. No answer. He gets behind the wheel and with a simple google search finds the local football field where he figures he might as well Check it out, to waste time until he can successfully make the call.

Finding a car park was a nightmare but after 17 minutes he finally made his way over to the game. There were a lot of people floating about, more than Louis had expected to see in this small town.

Manoeuvring around the crowd for what seemed like hours his eyes land on the person he was looking for. He walks up to said man landing his hand onto his shoulder.

“ Payno lad there you are! Why the hell are you not answering me mate?“

Liam’s hands automatically start patting his pockets searching for and pulling out his phone only then taking note of the missed calls.

“ Shit Lou, as you can hear it’s been pretty loud. I’m sorry man.“

The crowd cheers loudly as someone scores. This is Louis favourite type of atmosphere, the feeling of being surrounded by fellow footballers and supporters and fans. He continuously moves his eyes about taking in the scenery enjoying every moment. After 20 minutes Louis can feel his belly rumble. His hungry. Looking at his phone. Yep, it’s lunch time.

“ Liam where can I grab some munchies?“

“ Oh…ah…over that way somewhere there’s a food van. I think they got burgers, fries and hotdogs etc.“ He says pointing in a direction without taking his eyes off the game. Louis was about to thank him for his in depth helpful directions but jumps suddenly and laughs at being startled when Liam screams profanity at the umpire’s decision.

Upon finally reaching the food van he rolls his eyes dramatically.

A massive line.

For fuck sakes what is it with this town and such long freaking lines? For the next 10 minutes, Louis opens Twitter and wastes time while slowly progressing in the queue. Louis comes to a halt. He can feel the bottom part of his shirt being tugged slightly. There’s no helping it Louis panics. Lachlan is right at his feet sobbing, his little eyes full of worry as he continues to tug his shirt. Bending down to his level Louis then notices his tear-stained cheeks.

“ Hey there Lachy. Are you ok lad? What’s wrong?“

The young boy bats his eyelids a couple of times before taking a quick look around and then back to Louis.

“ I can’t find my Papa“ He cries.

Louis stands quickly and scans the surrounding area in search of Harry but he is nowhere in sight. Lowering himself down to Lachlan’s level once again he tries to settle him down.

“ It’s going to be ok. You are safe. My name is Louis, do you remember me?“

Lachlan nods his head confirming he does.

“ Yes…you are the pretty man.“

Louis looks at the boy confused but doesn’t question it.

“ I’m going to find your Papa ok. Don’t move.“

Louis collects his phone and dials Harry’s number not once taking his eyes off of his son.

“ Hey Louis, Look sorry now is really not a good time. I will call you la-“

Louis can hear the panic and urgency in Harry’s voice. He quickly speaks so Harry doesn’t hang up on him.

“ I have Lachlan…He was lost. We are at the food van on the west side.“

The phone line goes silent……

“ Harry?“

Louis pulls the phone away from his ear to check the connection. Looks like Harry had hung up without saying a word. Placing the phone back into his pocket securely he looks down to Lachlan who looks scared and is still clutching Louis pants. Louis wants to grab and hold his hand to make him feel safe but he can’t. He doesn’t want to scare the boy any more than he already is.

“ Papa will be here soon. Don’t worry about it, everything will be fine.“

Just like that within the next 30 seconds, Harry had come into view.

“ Oh my god, there you are !!! “ Harry says to himself as he lunges towards them, Lachlan running a little to meet his presence.

Harry was relieved when he saw Lachlan standing beside Louis. He could feel the small amount of perspiration dripping down the sides of his face, the result of running around the last 10 minutes in a desperate search for his son. With a thumping heart, he moves quickly to scorn him.

“ Jesus Lachy, how many times have I told you to never run off to where I can not see you.“

Harry takes a hold of Lachlan’s bi-ceps as his eyes scan all over his body making sure he is all in one piece.

“ I just wanted to kick the ball, but you kept saying ‘later’.“ Lachlan Murmurs, Harry not hearing it as he is too deep in parent mode checking over him still, but Louis catches it.

Satisfied that he is alright, he clasps the young lad into his chest and squeezes him tightly. As glad as he is that he is safe and ok, he pulls back. He knows he needs to explain to his son about his wrong behaviour.

“ Lachlan Edward Styles, look at Papa and please listen carefully. You can NOT under any circumstance leave my sight like that again, anyone could have taken you or you may have injured yourself. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?“

Harry hadn’t realised he had increased his tone towards the end of his speech. Lachlan stood there still as can be, focused on Harry’s every word. Noticing the way Lachy’s eyes are filling with water, he takes a deep breath and grabs hold of his tiny hands.

“You really scared Papa. Luckily for you and me, it was Louis who found you this time. Promise me, you won’t ever do that again. Ok.”

“ Papa I weely weely sorry, pweeze forgive me“ His words all being mispronounced as his pint-sized voice trembles, his lip quivering with a sincere apology.

Harry lifts Lachy embracing him into a compassionate hug. Louis understands that Harry is probably saying and doing all the right things but he can’t help but feel sorry for Lachy. After all, it really was an accident right? Lachlan explains how he had kicked the ball really hard, his eyes lighting up with excitement even though he knew he was in trouble and how he had to run fast to collect it. He told Harry how scared he got when he turned around and couldn’t find his Papa. Louis also won’t admit how warm he felt when Lachlan told Harry he was happy to have found Louis.

As Harry listens on with his eyebrows burrowed, Lachlan can tell his papa is still cross with him, making his little heart ache. He starts to really cry, tears streaming down his round squishable cheeks as he clings onto Harry, his arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he buries himself into his papa’s shoulder.

Rubbing his back gently a few times, Louis notices Harry whispering something into Lachy’s ear. He isn’t sure what exactly Harry does something with his hands but he can’t see but Lachy stops crying immediately leaning back to smile fondly at his Papa.

Harry watches Louis carefully as he ponders about how to say thank you.

“ I can not thank you enough, Lou. You have no idea how frantic I was when I turned around and saw he was gone. You really flew in and saved the day“

Harry lowers Lachy down safely.

Hearing Harry call him Lou made him smile and that alone scared him. Harry extends his arm out with the intent on a handshake thanking him for coming to the rescue today. Louis doesn’t know why he hesitated at first, it’s just two hands joining for a few seconds, it’s all innocent. Upon impact, Louis now understands what it was. The hesitation, the nerves, the sickly feeling in the pit of his stomach, touching Harry again sent unwelcomed electrifying pulses all through him. His hands were warm but comforting, so large yet so soft, his grip firm but at the same time gentle.

Shit. Nope, he promised. Just friends, means seeing Lachlan. He can not let himself fall for Him.

Harry smiled as he let go, the left side dimple emerging from nowhere creating a storm of anxiety throughout Louis.

He already knew. His plan to not be attracted to Harry was going to be a lot harder than he first imagined.

He…….was well and truly fucked.

Lachlan, who now has his arms wrapped around one of Harry’s legs, still a little frightened from today’s events, looks upwards locking eyes with Louis as if he was a whole new mystery. His bright blue iris, although they are a little red around the outside from crying, are piercing into his own as Louis internally acknowledges how he swears he physically felt his own heart swell.

“ Yeah wot Papa said, fanks LouLou.“

Don’t

cry

don’t

cry don’t cry

He knows he shouldn’t, he knows it’s not appropriate but he just can’t. He just can’t help it. He reaches out and scruffs Lachlan’s hair. The smooth thin silky strands were gently blowing in the slight breeze and Louis realised in this moment just how much Lachlan reminded him of himself as a baby.

It hits him. It hits him hard. The whole time throughout his pregnancy he continuously convinced himself that he couldn’t keep Lachlan, especially since he would probably look like Marcus. Now as he stands here right before his precious little boy, he realises that Lachlan is his own replica, a completely smaller version of himself, his own little mini-me. He could have never blamed this beautiful boy or loved him any less for Marcus’ dreadful doings.

His tiny creation…….. was perfect.

Panic sets in as he expects Harry to scorn him for touching his child without asking but it doesn’t come. When he lifts his head to look at Harry what he finds instead is something he can not explain. He isn’t met with a face of anger or concern, more so that of endearment towards their interaction. Whatever it was, Louis makes a mental note to be more cautious next time.

“ Papa is right, you need to stay close around so many people.“

Zayn and Niall approach looking relieved and puffed out from their search. Niall’s face erupts into happiness as he spots Louis, his eyes flicking back and forth between the pair. Louis doesn’t notice the way Niall raises his eyebrows suggestively at Harry. Harry of course rolls his eyes but would never admit how glad he was also at having the blue-eyed boy back in his presence.

“ Hi, Louis nice to see you again. Liam didn’t mention you were coming back into town.“ Niall says.

Just then Liam made his presence known.

“ There you all are. So everyone good now?“

Everyone in the circle nods in sync.

“ Hey Louis, Zayn and I thought we should all head out for a bit tonight hope you enjoy karaoke.“

Louis loves singing but in front of other people….not so much.

“ Sure sounds great.“ He lies.

“ Harry, you said Lachlan is sleeping over at Anne’s yeah? You going to join us?“

Louis finds his eyes are staring at Harry awaiting his answer, secretly hoping for a night out with the beautiful man who had kidnapped his thoughts all week. Sounds great to him but it also had him worried. Yes making friends with Harry was what he wanted. So of course he wanted a ‘yes’. Harry also found himself looking in Louis direction, a smile too had also crept onto his face. But before Harry could even get a word out Lachlan decided to answer for him.

“ Papa can’t go anywhere, he is going on a date. Right uncle Niall?“

Pain.

A stabbing knife being ripped through his chest. Louis felt the sting. Of course, Harry would be seeing someone, I mean look at him. He tries hard really hard not to let it eat him up.

’ Just friends remember, just friends’

Harry wants to grab a Scalpel and open Niall up into millions of different pieces and enjoy hearing him scream. He is annoyed because… great Louis thinks he is dating. He throws a death stare towards Niall who looks horrified.

“ I’m not, I mean, I can come. I…“ Harry stumbles to find the right words as the look on Louis’ saddened face throws him off guard making him nervous.

“ YOU ARE DATING SOMEONE?“ Zayn and Liam shout in unison a little too loud.

Harry runs a hand through his hair, feeling himself get more and more flustered watching Louis pick at his fingernails.

“ No guys listen to me. I’m not dating anyone. Little Lachy over here misinterpreted a conversation that’s all.“

The circle goes dead quiet and for the first time tonight, Harry is glad Lachy breaks the awkward silence.

“ Do you like football LouLou?“

With only a few small simple words Lachlan has drawn out the biggest smile from Louis that he has ever produced.

“ Come here“

Louis kneels down cupping his hands to Lachlan’s ear.

“ I love football“ he whispers.

Louis If asked, wouldn’t be able to explain the type of joy he feels in this moment as Lachlan’s eyes widen in surprise as he screams almost bursting Louis eardrum in the process.

“ Uncle Niall, Liam, zayn did you hear that? LouLou likes football, oh pwease LouLou pwease pwease pwease say you will play with me cos Papa no good. He misses the ball all the time and falls over. Say you will LouLou.“

There’s no hiding Louis’ endearment no matter how much he tried.

’ LouLou’

Louis new favourite word.

“ Of course, I will. I would love to. As long as you promise to go easy on me I’m a little out of practice AND only if Papa allows it.“

I mean he had to say yes right? How could he possibly say no to him?

Lachlan grabs Harry’s hands and starts jumping on the spot.

“ Papa Papa did you hear, did you hear? LouLou plays ball like me. He come play with me Papa and you can do the cleaning while LouLou teach me goals“

Lachlan stops for a split second turning to Louis with a frown.

“ You can score goals right LouLou?“

Louis nods a yes.

“ See Papa he make me probessinal“

Niall lets out the biggest laugh as the entire circle giggles.

“ Darling you mean professional.“

“ Silly Papa, you don’t listen that’s wot I said“

Lachlan TRIES to wink at Louis who laughs sending him a thumbs up.

“ So what time are we meeting tonight? Zayn pipes up taking a swig of his cola.

“7 pm I reckon would be great. “ Niall replies. “Could grab a bite to eat as well.”

“ Did you check into the hotel Louis?“ Liam asks.

Great. The only place he might be heading now is home as he literally has nowhere to stay.

“ Yeah um about that. It was kind of booked out…. football an all and me coming was kind of last minute.“

“ Shoot..um…“ Liam ponders.

“ LouLou can stay with us Papa we have a big house.“

Louis feels an anxiety attack coming on. He instantly feels hot and chokes on Lachy’s words. Liam who is watching his every move picks up on Louis hesitation.

“ Or you could stay w- “

Niall pinches Liam’s arm conspicuously very tightly causing Liam to shut up instantly.

“ I mean Harry has the means and you were just saying today you wished you had some company H.“

Harry darts his eyes to Niall, who is absolutely lying through his teeth because Harry had said no such thing today.

Glancing at Louis and then to Lachlan Harry shrugs his shoulders.

“ I mean I’m ok with it, I don’t know you well but any friend of Liam’s is a friend of mine and he trusts you, so you are more than welcome to our guest room.“

Lachlan cheers before Louis even answers. Seeing Lachlan excited calms his nerves. Well sort of. He knew this would be a terrible idea an absolute terrible idea. But what could go wrong?

Louis turns to Harry.

“ Um…..“

---

A/N

Thoughts on chapter?

4k words…. 😳

So …yeah Kevin has entered chat 🤣

If anyone is wondering what Kevin looks

like

. I did envision him looking like kit

Harrington

.

P

lease like usual, if you are enjoying

the

story please vote.

Also

I

really enjoy all your

funny

and heart warming comments.

It keeps me motivated.

♡♡♡

Chapter 6 - Relapse & Regrets

A/N

Sorry for the

wait

.

I’ve

made up for it

with a 5k-word chapter. Haven’t

spell checked. Sorry.

’S ometimes you may have to fight a battle more than once, to win it. ’

Over the next 24 hours, Louis is going to understand that sentiment like never before but for now, he has to try and pull himself together to gather the bravery to enter Harry’s front door.

It’s 2 pm and Louis has just arrived at Harry’s. He and Lachlan had left the game a little earlier as Lachlan was getting too restless.

Bringing his hand up to knock he can feel that familiar wetness in his palms, the nerves just as strong and prominent as the last time he stood there a short few weeks ago. Within seconds he can hear Lachy on the other side of the door, his tiny excited voice causing Louis to bare a heart-warming smile.

’ He is here papa’

’ Is it him?’

’ Open the door papa, come on hurry .’

When the door swings open, Louis is met with one very enthusiastic boy and a very amused Harry.

“Feels a bit like Deja-Vu does it not?” Harry remarks, a little hint of teasing added to it.

“ Yeah, it sure does.“ Louis answers, he is listening but his eyes are concentrated on watching Lachlan who was running off without even saying a word.

“ Difference is, you are coming inside this time right?“ Harry Laughs as Louis picks up on the playfulness of the situation.

“ Well I mean there’s still time for me to turn around.“ Louis smirks knowing all too well the flirtatious vibe he was sending off.

“ Oh please, don’t do that Lachy will kill me. He didn’t shut up about you the entire drive home. Speaking of, I bet I know exactly where he has gone and why.“

Harry manoeuvres aside and gestures for Louis to step in. Upon entry, Louis has to hide the tiny gasp that almost accidentally leaves his mouth. The outside of the house was beautiful but nothing compared to the elegance of the very fancy modern interior. With a quick glance around he noticed a formal styled living room off to his left and what appeared to be some sort of study or office space to his right. Having only made three steps into the foyer, Louis was already scared of breaking something that he most definitely wouldn’t be able to replace. The sound of a door being closed with fast feet approaching, Louis looks to Harry who is shaking his head.

“I knew it.”

“Loulou I found it, the ball grandma gave me. We play football now Let’s go, come on.”

Before Louis had the chance to react Harry was already intervening.

“ Munchkin, maybe let Louis settle into his room and freshen up a bit before you drag him outside yeah“

The excitement soon fell as a frown developed on his sweet little face. His bottom lip stuck out as he pouted. Lifting his head to Harry Lachy spoke.

“ Ok, papa.“

The small boy was devasted his voice trembling as he held back tears.

“ I got wait outside“ He lowered his head as he turned to leave and Louis couldn’t take it. He couldn’t watch it any longer, his heart not enjoying seeing him so visibly upset.

“ Wait.“

Lachy spun back around fast.

“ Let’s go score those goals“

The way his eyes lit up had Louis feeling proud because he knew that he himself was solely responsible for his new found happiness and smile.

Louis didn’t check with Harry if it was ok, hell he didn’t even look Harry’s way even. He followed behind walking quickly to keep up with Lachlan who was running, guiding him towards the backyard.

Harry wasn’t fussed quite the opposite actually. He watched as it all unfolded in front of him, the way Lachlan was so happy and thrilled to have someone to play proper football with. He also noticed the way Louis was so welcoming and attentive to his son. There was something that just felt so right, so natural and Harry couldn’t put his finger on it.

Lachlan is generally a welcoming lad. He smiles a lot, is polite and well mannered. He had always gotten along easily with Liam, Zayn and Niall who have all been a consistent presence in his life since Harry brought him home. But with Louis, Harry felt something different as he admired the two from the back sliding door but what that was, he wasn’t sure of. What he did know, was that watching the pair play, made Harry’s stomach flutter.

Louis nor Lachlan took any notice of Harry’s absence too caught up in chasing the ball. Listening to the laughter and cheers from Lachlan caused Harry to smile as he made use of his free time to put away the dishes from the dishwasher. The sound of the front door closing was heard followed by a loud greeting.

“ Harry! Hello, where are you love?“

Harry takes a deep breath in but doesn’t have much time to collect himself because his mum was already entering the kitchen.

“Oh, there you are. Where’s my favourite little human? Is he all ready to go?” Anne asks as she searches around the kitchen expecting to see her grandson.

Harry snapped his head towards the clock now realising that time had literally flown by.

“ Shit I’m so sorry. I will get his stuff ready in a second it - “

Anne was made aware of the new face in the backyard via the kitchen window when Lachlan squealed with laughter.

’ I score goal, did you see that? I Win Loulou. I win’

Anne looks to Harry to enquire about Lachlan’s new friend but stops herself when she notices Harry. His dimples have popped as he grins ear to ear. Anne notices something in her son’s stare. Something that had been missing from his life for a long time.

“ Harry?“

Remembering his mum is beside him he jumps slightly.

“ Yeah. Oh yeah ah..“

He knew exactly what his mother was about to ask.

“ That’s Louis.“ He musters out before clearing his throat.

“ THE same Louis you said showed up on your doorstep not long ago?“ Anne looked confused for a split second before continuing on. “ And what’s he doing here?… Oh God, You did not ask me to babysit tonight so you could get laid, I remember you said he was super cute but Har -“

“ What NO! Keep your voice down. NO, bloody hell mum no. I can’t believe you would think that. No, it’s-“

All eyes are drawn to the scream emitted from Lachlan as he and Louis entered the room.

“ Grandmaaaa“

Wrapping her grandson into her arms as he jumped, she barely gets a word in.

“ I don’t miss anymore, I kick on the side of my foot now and then I kicked harder and BAM grandma, I got the goal. Loulou is so good, he play the bestest in the world, he should teach papa like he teaches me. Loulou said all I had to do was commenprate“

Anne lowers Lachlan back to the ground carefully.

“ You mean ‘Concentrate.’ Louis corrects as he extends his hand out to Anne.

“ Hi. I’m Louis. Louis Tomlinson.“

“ Nice to meet you dear, my name is Anne.“

Lachlan plonks his hands onto his hips and shakes his head disapprovingly at Louis.

“ No Loulou she’s lying, that’s not her name, her name is Grandma.“

Harry is the first to laugh followed by Louis and Anne.

“ Why is everyone laughing, Papa tells me it’s naughty to lie“

Harry scoops Lachlan up and flings him onto his back giving him a ride.

“ Louis I’m really sorry I didn’t realise the time. If you would like to follow us upstairs I can show you to your room while I pack Lachy’s bag.“

Anne raises her eyebrows quizativtley trying to hide her smirk. Harry notices and mouthed to her;

’ It’s

not what

you

think!’

Reaching the top of the staircase, Harry pushes open a door to what appears to be a guest room. The room is on the larger side with a massive king size bed that is swallowed up by many luxurious white and pale blue mini pillows and cushions. There’s a glass mosaic chandelier hanging above the bed and it’s hard not to notice the beautiful smell of vanilla drifting throughout the room. It’s the fanciest room Louis has ever stepped into.

After Harry leaves to organise Lachlan, Louis uses the toilet in the ensuite bathroom and fixes his hair in the mirror. He pulls out his phone that was hanging onto life with only 7% battery and plugs his charger into the wall socket. He didn’t have much time to do anything else before the bedroom door was flung open as Lachlan came running in, while Harry’s words were being muffled from afar.

“ Lachlan, you need to knock first“

Of course, the boy hadn’t listened but Louis didn’t care. Lachlan had been changed into cleaner clothes, the dirt and grass stained shirt now gone, his adorable green backpack resting over his shoulder.

“ Me go to Grandma’s now, so papa said I must say goodbye.“

Lachlan stares off into space as though in deep thought as he keeps his eyes focused on the wall.

“ LouLou?“

His voice is somewhat quieter than usual and his words seem unsure. Louis lowers himself down to Lachlan’s level.

“ You ok? What’s the matter?“

Louis looks to Harry who he can see seems concerned, also worried as to why the young lad has become seemingly sad.

“ Munchkin what it is?“ Harry asks, his parent instincts kicking in.

“ It’s just….“

Lachlan looks between Harry and Louis and back once more.

“ Are you still going to be here when I get back tomorrow Loulou? You not going to like leave and not say goodbye right Loulou?“

Harry relaxes a little when he realises it was nothing too serious but Harry is caught completely off guard by Lachlan’s instant attachment and closeness to Louis so quickly. The thought stays in his head but he tries to pass it all off by blaming the pair’s love for ‘Football’.

“ How could I leave without saying goodbye? Plus I think another round of kicks and goals sounds good before I head home, don’t you?“

“ Really? You play with me again? Yes yes and more yes Loulou.“

Louis’ eyes dart to Harry’s. It’s then he realises he should have asked first. Pretty cocky to even assume he would still be around when Lachlan gets home. For all he knows, Harry could kick him out at the crack of dawn.

“ I mean only if it’s ok with Papa.“

Harry doesn’t even have to think about it, his words have left his mouth before his mind even comprehends what’s its doing.

“Of course darling. It’s no problem at all. Now come on let’s get moving Grandma is still waiting.”

After waving goodbye, Louis looks at the time. 4:10 pm. He opens up his bag shuffling through trying to find something appropriate for this karaoke night. He decides on his light denim jeans and a white Adidas tee. He lays them on the bed before slowly walking downstairs.

He notices Harry still out front and scans his eyes around the room taking it all in. He stops in the hallway where he notices several frames hung on the wall. He bites his nail nervously as he admires the photos before him. There’s a photo of Lachlan sitting in a high chair, a big number 1 placed into the chocolate cake in front of him. He bites his lip a little hard as his chest starts to beat faster, a sign he knows all too well that he is becoming anxious and unsettled. He glances over a few more, Lachlan with ‘Santa’ which is clearly Harry wearing a suit and fake beard. He notices a photo of Harry, Anne and Lachlan, it looks kind of recent.

Taking a second to catch his breath Louis internally thanks Harry for giving Lachlan a good life. As Louis looks around at all the smiles on the wall and pictures that represent milestones, he is happy Lachlan found Harry. With that being said and true, Louis’ heart aches with the understanding realisation of what he has sadly missed out on over the years.

He feels a lump form in his throat, and he clamps up, tears swelling in his eyes when he zones in on it. A picture of Harry holding Lachlan as a newborn as he sat in a rocking chair. It was captioned

’ First

night

in new forever home ’

The afternoon had been such serenity for Louis that he had ‘forgotten’ about the reason he was there and what he had done all those years ago. The sudden wave of guilt floods his mind and it couldn’t have been the worse timing because Louis hadn’t heard Harry approach him from behind.

“ He was so small there, time really does fly by quickly.“

Louis looks away instinctively blinking his eyes quickly to allow the built up tears to roll down his cheeks. He uses his arm to sneakily wipe his face before turning back.

“ His such an amazing kid Harry. You really have a done a good job.“

Harry not understanding how much those words should really mean to him, smiles back.

“ I’d like to think so. Thank you.“

---

After Harry gives Louis a quick tour of the house where he saw 2 more guest rooms, a theatre room, the garden and a swimming pool, Harry pulls out a stall offering Louis to sit at the kitchen island bench.

“ So we still have like…“ Harry observes the time. “ Another hour or two before we go to meet the boys. You are welcome to use the shower if you like to go get ready. If there’s anything you need at all, just ask…and oh, help yourself to the fridge for any drinks or food.“

Louis nods his head in acknowledgement.

“ Awesome. I might just take you up on that shower.“ Louis stands immediately. “ Thanks for letting me stay here, you really saved my ass, so I owe you one.“

Louis turns around to venture upstairs leaving Harry smitten at the table. Harry had been fighting his own war inside his head not understanding why he felt so attracted to the blue-eyed beauty.

A month before Lachlan was born, Ben, who was Harry’s partner at the time had packed up his belongings and informed Harry he couldn’t do it anymore, he couldn’t go on with the relationship when he felt they weren’t on the same page. Ben had never been the family type, not wanting to settle down, the idea of children made him upset, which was stemmed from his own fertility issues causing Ben to dislike the idea of adopting if he couldn’t have any of his own, which Harry thought made no sense but to Ben it did. However, he had agreed to adopt a baby for Harry’s sake, to shut him up about his constant desire for a child that he could devote his entire heart and soul to.

They were engaged to be married but Ben caved to the pressure. He loved Harry that was no lie but raising children scared him a bit and the night Ben gave Harry an ultimatum, Harry’s strong desire for a baby succeeded, even if it meant having to parent single handedly. So Harry followed through with the adoption and welcomed Lachlan into his life a mere four weeks later, a decision he wouldn’t change for the world.

Ben leaving caused Harry to fall out of love with the idea of ’ Love’. Ben was Harry’s everything his one and only. Harry worked hard and endlessly to make his money and had put it all into buying their home along with their savings for their future plans.

When Harry had first gotten the call from Melissa saying she had a baby who needed a home in 3 months time, he was the happiest he had ever been in his entire life. From that moment on Lachlan already had him wrapped around his little finger even when he hadn’t met him just yet. But Ben had instantly became more and more distant each and every day that the adoption became closer eventually causing Ben to make the decision to leave.

Harry was devasted, living by himself was a sudden change and he felt lonely more often than not. His friends supported him, even trying to set him up on dates after Lachlan had arrived but Harry only wanted his time and effort put into his new bundle of joy.

When Lachlan turned two, Niall tried his best to convince Harry that it was time to move on. Niall, Liam and Zayn never intended to push the issue but they hated seeing Harry alone and down, especially when Harry witnessed cute couples together being all lovey-dovey, causing Harry to fall into a pit of sadness. He would never admit it to anyone but he was in fact, no good alone. His soul yearned for someone to share life’s great joys with but Lachlan was all that mattered. He had to come first, he was the priority and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

When Anne would have Lachlan and Harry would venture out for a boy’s night, he refused to even dance or look at another man. No amount of convincing would work. He didn’t care about getting a one-night stand, he was happy with just his hand because his own hand wouldn’t let him down, lie or leave him.

But now something inside Harry has woken and it scares the shit out of him but he can’t explain why on the other hand, his inner self is ready to devour Louis. He is conflicted but he can’t seem to stop himself from staying away and wanting the man.

Harry spends about 25 minutes walking around the house tidying up a few of Lachy’s toys that had been left in what felt like every corner of every room. Deciding it’s his turn for a shower he makes his way upstairs a smile still prominent across his face.

He walks past the room that Louis is staying in and is surprised when the door flings open suddenly.

“ Shit, you scared me.“ Harry gasped holding onto his chest, dramatically of course.

“ Whoops sorry. I was just gonna yell out and ask if the place we are going to is fancy or can I go casual cos I only got jeans and a tee“

Harry’s brain didn’t register anything after the words;

’ I was just gonna yell out’

Because his gaze had fallen upon Louis wrapped in just a towel, the beads of water still dripping down his skin, his hair wet and messy sitting flawlessly around his soft glowing skin.

Harry ……was fucked.

“ Harry?“

“ Hmm?“ Harry says now he has snapped out of his trance.

Harry notices he is waiting for a reply.

“ Oh ah..what was it you wanted?“

“ Where are we going? How do I dress? Jeans and tee ok?“ Louis asks again.

Louis wasn’t stupid he had caught the stare, the way Harry looked him over from head to toe. It should make it awkward but it doesn’t and Louis sure as hell doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad thing because the attraction is there and without hesitation, he could easily make his way to Harry’s bed…..

but…..Lachlan.

Nope, as much as the mutual desirability is there he must stay friends and not ruin this. Any fuck up with Harry and he could lose contact with his son.

“ Yes, that’s fine. Jeans and tee, yeah just casual.“

There’s a brief silence where they both just smirk.

“ Ok, I’m gonna go have my shower now.“

Harry darts off to his room stripping off his clothes and heading straight into the shower and if he touches himself to try and release the sexual tension then nobody needs to know.

---

The bar is excessively loud as people try to over speak each other. The smoke in the room is thick as he and Harry approach Liam and Zayn who were seated in a booth. Louis can not help himself as he whispers to Liam as he slumps down next to him.

“ So…..you and Zayn huh? Looking cozy“

Liam gently slaps his shoulder as he quickly downs a beer. Zayn is chatting with Harry and Liam takes the opportunity to question Lou.

“ You guys looked happy walking through the door, you getting along ok? I’m really sorry about the way Niall dropped you into the deep end there.“

Turning slightly so Harry can’t lip read or hear, Louis smiles.

“ He is very polite. A nice bloke and a really good dad. I can see why everybody likes him. “

“ Jesus Tommo you really took the standard correct response there didn’t yah….“

An arm wrapped around Louis’ shoulder a strong accent entering his ears.

“ Louis mate, nice to see you again. Here you go, something to get you started.“

Niall placed an open beer in front of him.

“ Thanks“ was all he could say. What else was he to do, spill about his past and how he wants to keep clear of alcohol because it sent him on a downward spiral last time. He lifts the beer and brings it to his lips and lucky for Louis Niall and Liam are already distracted as Niall was pointing to something across the room keeping Liam entertained. He put the beer down and started tapping his hands nervously on the table in front of him.

For the next hour, Louis watches the boys become intoxicated quickly with one drink after the other. Zayn is drunk the worse, his words already slurring as he and Liam continue to sit and laugh closely together in their own little bubble. Harry will not stop laughing and it’s the most adorable thing Louis has heard in a while. Niall has drunk the most but somehow the alcohol doesn’t seem to be affecting him as much.

Harry runs towards the karaoke mic as Gloria Gaynor’s ’ I will survive ’ starts playing. All the boys watch on laughing hysterically as Harry puts in his best effort to not only sing at the top of his lungs but trying his hardest at dancing suggestively. While the other lads giggle and point, Louis is mesmerised by the way Harry is moving. Unfortunately for Louis, Liam has noticed his intense stare and questions it.

“ Like what you see Tommo?“ Liam whispers into his ears, Louis eyes still watching on as Harry runs his hands down his thighs seductively. He quickly looks away when Harry makes eye contact and Liam lets out a wheeze.

“ Oh my gosh, you like him!“ Liam snaps louder than he should have.

Louis goes straight into panic mode.

“ What ! Who?.. No“

Niall returns from the bar a set of 5 shot glasses being placed down onto the table.

“ Who likes who?“ He asks as he faintly heard the last part of the conversation.

“No one was just mucking around.” Liam Says to Niall before rushing to Louis ear. “ You and I will be having a talk later on“

The conversation doesn’t go any further because Harry re-joins the table picking up a shot glass, skulling it and slamming it back down onto the table. He looks to Louis who nervously re-adjusts himself in his seat. Harry speaks only loud enough for Louis to hear but Zayn who thinks he catches some of it asks him to speak up.

“ What was that Harry?“ Zayn elaborates knowing too well what had been said.

Not sure why but the whole table goes dead silent and Louis feels not one, but four sets of eyes on him. Harry rolls his lips nervously because ‘fuck Zayn!’ now he has been put on the spot and is totally embarrassed as all 3 of his ‘friends’ now look to him awaiting his answer as though their lives depended on it.

“ I said………..You owe me one remember, dance with me“

He extends his hand out to Louis.

Zayn’s eyebrows have risen as high as they can possibly go completely shocked. Liam’s bottom jaw has hit the table speechless and unable to believe what Harry has just said.

Then…..

There’s Niall…..

He has the biggest teeth grinning smile, flicking his eyes back and forth between Harry and Louis like it’s a tennis match, excited and eager for Louis response.

Louis has thought about Lachlan every day for years and for the first time tonight he doesn’t. In fact, he doesn’t think about anything. It’s been such a long time since he has let it all go, pushing aside his thoughts , his worries, and his fears. Tonight he is accepting the fact that he can be happy and have some fun, tonight for one night only, he can and will let loose.

He had managed to avoid the alcohol all night…. until now.

He picks up the shot and swallows the Vodka, the burning sensation which had become a memory of the past, now a welcoming enticement. It’s funny how good something tastes when you haven’t had it for so long. He doesn’t want to say no and look like a prick … plus there’s the fact that..well…he plain and simply doesn’t want to say no.

The excitement of alcohol and the excitement of fantasy is very similar.

“ Let’s go styles, see if you can keep up.“

Grabbing Harry’s hand to stand up he turns back to the table and in one quick motion grabs all 3 remaining shots, tilting his head backwards and swallowing them all. If he is to dance here in front of all these people, the only thing to help give him the boost he needs, is Dutch courage.

Louis is first to venture off towards the floor while Niall winks and gives Harry a thumbs up. As much as the three lads want to give Harry and Louis some privacy they all find it hard not to watch the pair as they laugh about on the dance floor as they mock each other’s dance moves. To them, seeing Harry look alive and joyful was all they had prayed for and all it seemed to take… was one handsome looking guy named Louis Tomlinson.

Hours later and Louis was smashed.

With Niall’s love of alcohol, the table was always covered with bottles, cans, and shots. The continuous laughs surrounding the circle of friends, the funny stories being told, the banter and jokes. The one thing Louis didn’t realise was happening was the Flirting. Too far gone to reason with himself that maybe the gentle finger strokes on Harry’s arms and the soft hand rubs along each other’s backs were leading down the path he really shouldn’t be heading.

“ Far out Nialler another one, you know alcohol really is a man’s worse enemy“

Niall laughs at the new Nickname and pats Louis’ shoulder.

“ Well my friend, you know what the bible says….. ’ Love thy enemy.’

Louis held his stomach and picks up his 14th shot for the night but hey who’s counting? It’s from this moment on that Louis is about to lose all sort of any awareness, but Louis couldn’t be happier……..

Louis felt free.

---

Louis wasn’t sure if he was hungover or actually dying. It didn’t really matter, both options had the same outcome, he felt fucking miserable. As his eyes fluttered open, the first thing he felt was the pounding headache followed by his very dehydrated dry sore throat. He pulled back the bed covers and froze.

’ Shit.’

Now that he was fully awake and alert he didn’t need to look around, he could hear the shallow snore coming from behind him.

’ W ell that explains why I have no clothes on .’

He thought to himself. He leans down onto the ground and quickly but quietly hurries to get dressed. It’s when he reaches for his shoe that he sees a condom packet on the floor.

He bites his bottom lip hard and slowly stands to turn around. The area behind him was in fact accompanied by long legs and luscious curls.

Harry was lying on his belly the blanket hovering halfway up his bare back. His head was tilted slightly and Louis couldn’t help but admire how delicate and heavenly he looked. It’s also how he comes to notice the purple bruise on his neck.

Louis moved fast. He needed out of there. He couldn’t believe he had been so stupid. So fucking stupid. As he bee-lines for the bedroom door, he tries to remember last night’s extremities but for the life of him, he can’t put anything together. He can’t remember anything after his silly dance off with Harry. He tries to envision how it was he got home but he can not even remember arriving back and he most definitely doesn’t remember any bedroom activity. He closes the door behind him carefully so as to not disturb Harry because the last thing he needs is him waking up.

He walks a few steps before he stops. He knows the door next to him is Lachlan’s room. He is curious and even though he is struggling to swallow because his throat is screaming for water he opens the door anyway. Why not? He knows after today that he won’t ever get this chance again. There’s no coming back now, the plan is ruined. He messed up the one opportunity he had to be in his son’s life.

The room was just as grand as Louis thought it would be. It felt weird and somewhat creepy stepping into the room. A room he never thought he would see. The room where his son sleeps and gets dressed, the room where bed time stories are told and goodnight kisses are given. He slowly made his way around making sure to let the images sink into his brain as to never forget the moment.

Something caught Louis’ eye on the wall beside the window. There in a gold frame was Lachlan’s adoption paper with the caption above it

’ Biological Parents. Absent from my life but never from my heart.’

Louis was sure he was having a heart attack, the pressure in his chest was causing difficulty with his breathing. Does Lachlan know he is adopted? Has Harry told him? What the hell was this? All the questions flew around his mind. With his eyes fulfilling with tears, he turns around and exits out the door. He makes it downstairs collecting a glass and filling it with water. The moment he finishes, he double checks he has everything and escapes out to his car without daring to turn back.

---

Louis hasn’t driven so fast in his life. The window is down, the breeze blowing heavily onto his face as he finds it hard to concentrate. He makes it ten minutes out of town before he abruptly pulls off to the side of the road. He slams his palms hard against the steering wheel consistently with force.

’ FUCCCKKKK’ He screams when he remembers Lachy and their promise for football today. He takes another hard hit with his fist, this time directly into the middle of the wheel. The blow is that hard it ejects the airbag.

’ No No No’ He pleads.

He covers his face with his hands and cries. He has ruined everything. He fucked up his friendship with Harry, more than likely embarrassed himself while drunk in front of his new friends and most importantly he has fucked up with his son.

He may have only been in Lachlan’s life for a short matter of weeks but already he had managed to completely disappoint and let him down. Louis thinks to himself that he shouldn’t have interfered, shouldn’t have introduced himself, that way Lachlan wouldn’t be subject to Louis continuous failures.

Lachlan was better off without him.

Turning the ignition on seemed pointless but he still tried anyway. He already knew it wouldn’t start with the bag out, it’s a safety precaution. He leans over and collects his phone off the passenger seat and makes a call.

“ Hi Kevin, I’m gonna need a bit of help.“

---

A/N

Hmm 👀 what are your thoughts?

Chapter 7 - Starting Over

A/N

I know,

I know

I’m

so sorry.

I’ve

been extremely busy constructing my house into a Halloween

Haunted

walkthrough.

It’s been taking up all my time. I truly apologize. Anyway, surprise. Double chapter 7k words. ♡ Dedicated to LouisMistress

---

17, 18, 19, 20 Louis finishes the count inside his own mind as he takes another deep breath, just like the voice on the you tube video told him to.

This is what he has succumbed to. Relaxation clips in order to help him sleep. The idea at first seemed ridiculous to him but now that he has actually slept for the third night in a row, he doesnt mind how silly it sometimes feels or worse still, how stupid he would look if someone was to see him. Not being the type for yoga mats, dimmed lighting, and soothing music, it’s taken a bit of getting used to over the last 72 hours.

The first few weeks after leaving Holmes Chapel were…. let’s just say HELL for him. There was no such thing as sleep anymore. No matter what he tried he couldn’t switch off. What he truly wished for was an on/off button. A way to stop his own thoughts from drifting off to Lachlan at every second, his beautiful innocent smile, his sweet and precious personality all becoming a certain fixture in his head. How deeply he missed him, his heart hurt no matter how much he tried to convince himself it was all for the better. As much as it pains him to admit it, the green-eyed perfect parent was always close behind, his dimples, the long curls, and the forest coloured eyes seemed to always cloud his vision, making chores, work, socializing, and even sleep an extremely hard task.

It’s been 2 months since that dreaded drive back to London. Kevin has been a massive help and comfort to Louis. The first couple of days back at work, Louis was zoned out. Always staring off into space, his inner conscious playing the ’ what if’ game.

What if I didn’t drink?

What would have happened?

What if I refused to stay at Harry’s, I probably would still be seeing Lachlan.

The list of scenarios kept getting longer and Louis just couldn’t keep in the right head space.

Kevin gave Louis a few days off to recuperate and get himself together. Louis had snapped at an older couple who kept opening up some vinyl covers. It irritated him because there were signs everywhere around the store to precisely not do that. Normally Lou wouldn’t have behaved the way he did. Generally speaking, Louis was more kind and patient with the customers than Kevin himself. So Louis did just that, he took a couple of days off and had a break.

For the last couple of weeks, Louis had somehow managed to slowly return to life pre Holmes Chapel. After dwelling in self pity for what seemed like an eternity, he trained his mind to move on. Lachlan was happy, safe, and Loved. When he thinks back to making the decision to find him, he remembers coming to the conclusion that just knowing that was enough. The only regret he has now is that he never took any photos of them together.

Every thought of Lachlan the first week coming home was making his heart constrict with guilt and separation anxiety. Now he has trained himself to remember that seeing him in the first place was more than a miracle in itself. The memory of watching him smile, his cute little voice only made his heart warm now, proud of the tiny creation he had once made.

---

For some reason, the store was always quiet on Wednesdays. It’s nearing lunch time and so far there have only been 2 customers since they opened at 9 am.

“ Lou, I’m popping home for a couple of hours. You alright to do the norm?“

The ’ Norm’ was boring Wednesday’s clean up. It involved dusting the shelves, wiping the benches, and moping the floors, all in all, it was basically just all the shitty stuff that they avoided for the rest of the week.

“ How, oh how will I ever manage Kev, there are too many people to serve“

Kevin rolls his eyes amused at Louis’ sassiness as he sidesteps around him while he is rearranging some CDs out of pure boredom. He swipes his set of keys from behind the counter and heads to the door.

“ I can hear the broom calling your name Louis“ Kevin laughs as he exits through the door. Louis laughs and flips the bird but it’s too late, he is already gone.

The first thing Louis does is most certainly not the chores. Instead, he walks around the shop, eyes scanning the rows of CDs. Running his finger along the covers while he wastes time slowly down each aisle, he stops when he comes across an old Oasis album. He plays it through the shop speakers humming along while eventually picking up the dreaded cleaning supplies.

’ Because maybe, your gonna be

the

one that saves me’

His singing comes to a halt when he hears the doorbell sound indicating a customer. He places the stuff in his hands down behind the counter. He turns around glad to prolong the chores.

“ Hello, anything I can - “

Three days after returning to London, Louis’ phone wouldn’t stop. There were countless calls and messages from Liam more than anyone else. All relaying the same questions.

’ Are you Ok?’ ’ Where are You?’ ’ Call me when you get this’

Then Harry’s came through.

’ Woke up and you were gone :( I hope you are OK. Where did you scoot off to? You are coming back today right?’

’ I guess not.’

’ Lou, did I do something wrong? I’m sorry if I have offended you at all or maybe said something out of line. Whatever it was I apologize. Call me?’

It hurt Louis like hell. He couldn’t bare it anymore. It wasn’t easy by any means but in the end, he made the decision to cut all ties with Holmes Chapel. That also included Liam, Zayn, Niall, Harry, and sadly Lachlan. He blocked and deleted all their numbers. It was better that way, then there was no temptation to answer. This way he could move on.

“ Louis! Shit finally. Nice to see you again. Come here.“

Louis frowned not knowing what that even meant but he never asked, too stunned and in shock at seeing the smiling man strolling towards him. He felt arms wrap around him and a firm pat to his back.

“ Hi. What are you doing here in London?“

Louis doesn’t know why he feels so uptight, but he is eager for an answer, curious as to what has brought him all this way.

“ Oh um…hold that thought, hang on a quick second, let me just.“

Pulling out his phone the man starts typing excessively fast. Louis watches on slightly confused. With a teeth grinning smile he shoves the phone back into his jean pocket and returns his gaze.

“ Sorry about that. Holy crap this shop is nice.“

Louis holds back a grin, funny to watch how easily distracted he can become as his eyes slowly skim the room.

“ You are so lucky to work here. You sell guitars too ?!?!“

Already impatient, Louis really needs answers.

“ What brings you to London?“

“ Yeah you see, Harry kind of had me“

Louis notices him become slightly nervous, the nail biting was totally giving it away as he stopped mid sentence.

“ Harry? Harry, had you do what Niall?“

As much as Louis desperately needed for him to continue, the universe like always had other plans. Both Louis and Niall swung their eyes in the direction of the door when they both heard the bell sound.

“ You got my message then“ Niall said as he smiled tremendously.

Louis watched on in horror as Harry slowly but timidly approached the pair.

“ Since its mission accomplished. I’m going to……. ah….grab a bite to eat. Nice to see you again Louis. See you soon.“ He remarks loudly as he proceeds towards the exit.

“ Niall wait!“ Louis pleaded, in a desperate attempt not to be left alone with Harry.

There’s a moment where the world around the two suddenly froze in time. When Harry’s eyes met Louis, the traffic outside the shop was no longer heard, and the Oasis CD appeared to be mute. The only sound Louis heard was that of his erratic heartbeat.

He had been dreading that this day may come, unfortunately for him, it came sooner than he had anticipated. Embarrassed by their night together and whatever went down between them, having to explain why he left was the reason he felt himself choking up.

“ Harry…I..“

Louis had to divert his eyes elsewhere. Harry’s intense stare was causing the back of his neck to perspire.

“ What did I do wrong?“

Louis’s head snaps back to meet Harry’s concerned face. Looks like there’s no intention for small talk with Harry jumping straight into the deep end. He has had time to think of an excuse, any excuse as to explain his actions but now that Harry is standing in front of him looking genuinely worried and hurt, Louis couldn’t seem to muster up anything. So he decided to go with whatever decided to flow out of his mouth instead.

“ No. You did nothing….wrong. No… cliche I know but it really was me not you. I… I’m sorry for leaving. I guess I…“

Louis struggled as Harry chewed on his bottom lip nervously as he focused on Louis’ every word. Letting out a sigh Louis runs his hand across his forehead fixing his fringe.

“ Lou, I don’t know what went wrong. We had a good night. A great night actually and I woke up you were gone and you literally ghosted me. If you didn’t wish to see me again for whatever reason you only had to say-“

Harry thinks Louis doesn’t like him and it couldn’t be further from the truth. But how does he continue from here? It’s not like he can tell him the truth.

“ I like you, Harry I do, I guess I kind of feel stupid for ….well….you know“

Harry frowns trying to work out what the fuck he was talking about.

“ I shouldn’t have had anything to drink, I hadn’t had alcohol in a while and as you are obviously aware by now I tend to become flirty and easy and..“

Louis really wishes Harry would just turn around and leave to save himself from any further embarrassment. He can feel his cheeks heating and sweat forming on his forehead.

“ It was a mistake Harry and I apologize. I really liked you, you are a nice guy, and a wonderful parent and I screwed it up I’m sorry really sorry. Please just forget you met me.“

Louis hadn’t realized that why the words were running out of his lips at record speed he had subconsciously started to guide Harry towards the exit. He had almost laid a hand on the door before Harry’s mind finally catches up to speed with Louis’ dialogue.

“ Lou, wait. What do you mean, ’ It was a mistake?’ What was a mistake?“

Louis needs this conversation to end before he loses it. He doesn’t want to break down or cry in front of him but it’s all too much.

“ Harry C’mon lad you know what I’m talking about, Look I don’t normally sleep around with people I’ve just met please trust me on that, that’s not who I am. I’m sorry ok. “

Louis opens the door gesturing for Harry to exit. It takes Harry a couple of seconds before it hits him. He reaches for the door and closes it back up, looking to Louis with his eyebrows raised, a slight show of amusement entwined with a small smile.

“ Wait… you think, oh this is funny. I should have realized. You think you and I. “ he points a finger between Louis and himself. “ You think we slept together?“

Harry tried to hold back a laugh but he couldn’t help it when he let his head fall back and cackle.

Louis however DID not find it funny as he stood there waiting for an explanation.

“ You ghosted me for thinking we….“

Louis although confused smiled at the way Harry’s dimples popped while laughing.

“ So we didn’t….“

“ No Lou we didn’t.“

The first thing that came to Harry’s mind made his eyebrows burrow. Was the thought of them having sex repulse Louis that much? Had he misinterpreted all the Flirting and banter? Maybe Louis didn’t feel the same and just saw them as friends and even though Harry wished for more, friends is way better than nothing at all.

Harry spent the next 10 minutes explaining to Louis what exactly happened that drunken night months ago and how the whole misunderstanding had occurred because Harry might have been intoxicated but he was no way near as drunk as Louis was.

Louis crawled up the stairs... literally on all fours while Harry 

laughed

 at Louis' attempt of trying to 

convince

 Harry he was a cheetah. The two had left the others who were still enjoying the 

karaoke

 to venture on back to 

Harry's
 
house

. 

Harry had noticed Louis was plastered. He could no longer stand up unattended and even 

though

 he was in good spirits Harry looked at the time and knew he should get him home 

safely

 to bed. 

The

 taxi drive home was 

amusing

 for Harry, 

the

 endless funny stories Louis told of his younger self in school kept them in a 

fit

 of happiness the entire way back to his house. 

" You ok to get up the 

stairs

, here let me help you." 

Harry

 wrapped his arm around Louis' waist, 

allowing

 

himself

 to selfishly take the opportunity to once again have some body contact. It 

wasn't

 the first for tonight. Louis is a flirt when drunk but so was Harry. 

They 

didn't seem to mind the subtle 

touches

 they both 

didn't

 realise they were engaging in. The 

placing

 of 

Harry's

 hand on Louis lower back 

when

 they walked, or when Louis would grab hold of 

Harry's

 hand while telling a story, whatever it was each of them felt utterly comfortable enough to do so. The other lads saw the way they both protectively wa
tc
hed

 each 

other

 when one of them would venture off. The attraction was undeniable. 

" Need help ... Jesus styles

, you paying attention? keep 

watching or

 you might miss it otherwise, blink and you wont see me." 

What Harry found 

funny

 was the fact that Louis moved alright....incredibly slow that is, sloth like even but Louis, he genuinely 

thought

 he was moving quick.

" 
See quick as a
...." 

" 
Yeah cheetah I know Lou, I know." Harry laughed
. 

Never in his life had it taken Harry 22 minutes to climb his stairs. When they finally reached the top
 
Harry was busting for the toilet, thinking he had nothing to worry about he turned to the guest half bathroom that was closest and relieved 

himself

. When he ventured out of the room Louis was no where in 

sight

 but that 

didn't

 stop Harry from hearing him. 

Following his voice he found him in
 
his

 own bedroom 

singing

 as he stood facing away from him 

bending

 down to remove his underwear from his ankles. Harry also intoxicated opted to 

laugh

 at the situation, 

gaining

 Louis' attention who spun around stark nude. 

" Far out Lou, why are you in my room and .....shit fully 

in

 your birthday suit." 

Harry gasped taking in Louis lack of clothing
. 

" Your room?....Oh yeah I..." 

Louis

 looks around realising that yes he had crawled to the wrong room. Thanks to over a dozen shots of mixed drinks Louis has no shame or care factor that Harry is seeing him 100% bare.

Harry doesn't mind 

the

 view at all. In fact tonight has been the most entertaining 

and

 funniest night he 

has

 had in years all thanks to the 

stunning

 beauty standing before him.

Harry notices Louis has an opened condom in his hand and shit was this happening? 

" Lou are 

you

 ok?" 

Harry notices Louis swaying a little, his face becoming exceedingly pale.

" I ... I was going to show you a trick that involved a condom and my dick like I saw on that show I was telling you 

about

 but......." Louis placed a hand on his stomach and let out a burp.

" Are 

you

 going to be sick?" 

Louis 

doesn't

 answer instead shaking his 

head

 ' no ' before laying back onto the bed. 

" Sleep Harold " 

Louis patted the bed next 

to

 him and Harry paused 

for a

 second. 

Louis

 is drunk. He 

isn't

 the type to take advantage and he knows it would be wrong if Louis tries anything. He contemplates going to the guest room when he hears Louis snore and fuck its the cutest sound Harry has 

witnessed

. 

What's the harm if he stays? He 

strip's

 off his 

shirt

 and 

tugs
 off 
his jeans leaving his boxers on. He slides in next to Louis pulling up the covers to make sure he stays warm but if Harry pulled the blanket up slowly to embed the vision of this perfect angelic physique next to him, into his brain, well so be it. 

He laid there for a few moments admiring the way Louis blew small breaths of air out of his mouth as he exhaled. He thought about

 how weird it felt having someone in 

his

 bed after such a long time. But what felt weirder was how it felt perfect, so natural and not awkward at all, like something that 

had

 felt missing all these years had suddenly been found. Within minutes Harry switched off the lamp and dozed off instantly. 

~~~END OF FLASHBACK~~~

" 
Fucking hell, see Harry I'm a complete dickhead look at how much I have embarrassed myself." 

" Lou seriously, it was such a fun night and I'm sorry you can't remember it. But you don't have to be embarrassed." 

The pair engage in an intense stare off. Louis wondering what he should do now because all he wants is to be friends with Harry again but is worried about any repercussions that they may entail further on down the track. Harry on the other hand is staring at Louis praying to God he doesn't run and end up getting pushed away again. 

Unknown to Louis, Harry has fallen for him already. He has no idea how lost and hurt Harry felt when Louis had up and disappeared. Harry had felt alive again after meeting Louis and all he understood from their instant connection was that he wanted Louis present in his life.

" You busy this weekend?" Harry blurts out hopeful. 

" Harry" 

Harry doesn't even want to question or speak about why Louis left, all he desires is another chance to spend time with him. 

The way Louis drags out his name he can already tell it might be harder to get him to come back than he had planned. He knows it's wrong and that he shouldn't use his own son as leverage but he does. 

" Lachlan misses you too. I'm sure he would love to see you again." 

Harry waits and takes in every detail as Louis sighs and Harry knows by the way Louis' face relaxes that it has worked. 

" Ok. Fine. Yeah I'm free. I mean yes seeing you guys again will be fun. I'd like that." 

*************

A few days later

The moment his eyes land on him, he feels his whole body shift. After a couple of months of separation and fully believing with all his heart that he wouldn't ever see him again, Lachlan emerges from the cubby house not yet noticing Louis' presence, too focused on what appears to be a snail in his hands. 

" Lachlan styles put that poor snail back to where you found it right now." Harry yelled, the young boy still not lifting his gaze. 

After lowering the mollusc down onto the lawn. Louis follows Harry slightly hidden behind his back. He wouldn't deny it, not only is he nervous and shy he is strongly apprehensive about how Lachlan is going to respond to seeing him again after how they had parted. Regrettably, Louis instincts had been right on point because Lachlan was not impressed to see him. 

" Hey baby, Look who's here. It's Loulou. I told you he would come back didn't I? " 

Louis wishes he didn't hear that. Had Harry really had that much faith that Louis would return some day? Lachlan stopped dead in his tract, standing completely still. He flicks his eyes between his papa and Louis before settling his attention on Harry. Lachlan refuses to look at Louis not breaking eye contact with Harry. 

" He isn't my Loulou anymore." 

It shocks Harry who becomes slightly panicked not knowing how to address that. Lachlan has never behaved like that towards anyone before. Louis on the other hand is disappointed but not surprised. He knew he had upset him and let him down the day he left without saying goodbye. 

It hurts. It really hurts, not only does it feel like his heart has been torn apart but every fiber in his body tenses and aches, and Louis feels like he wants to cry because the last thing he would ever want to do on this planet is to make his little boy sad. 

Both of them share a glance. Louis nods his head in the direction of Lachy and mouthed a 'can I ?' to which Harry smiled. 

Louis bends down onto one knee coming face to face with saddened blue eyes. Lachlan frowns a little when Louis smiles at him.

" Lachy I'm really sorry for ...." 

" It's Lachlan to you" Lachy replies firmly, his hands popping onto his hips. Harry's eyes widen in shock at Lachlan's sudden change of behaviour but Louis continues on. 

" My apologies. Lachlan I'm truly sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. Any chance you would like to play some ball?" 

" I don't like Playing ball anymore, especially with you LEWIS!"

In this moment Louis is brought back to reality that he doesn't know how to parent. He has no clue how to react, what to say, what he should or shouldn't do. Luckily Harry intervenes. 

"Excuse me, we do not speak in that way to our elders or to anyone like that actually mister. Now apologize please"

Harry's tone is firm and Louis looks at Harry not wanting this to go any further. 

" Harry it's fine. It's ok. " 

" No Louis it's not. Lachy Now." 

Lachlan's face eases, now understanding his papa was truly upset with him.

" I'm sorry BUT you were mean to me too, you left! You didn't play ball you went away. YOU LEFT, YOU LEFT, YOU LEFT!!" Lachy screams. 

Lachlan's bottom lip started quivering, tears pooling in his eyes and Harry was only now understanding where the attitude was stemming from. Harry was taken back when Louis moved forward first, grabbing hold of the boy's hands into his own. 

" Please don't cry. I know you are right. You have every reason to be annoyed with me. Just know from the bottom of my heart I didn't mean to hurt you on purpose and I am so very sorry. There's no way I will ever do it again. I promise ok." 

Lachlan stares at him and if he wasn't so small he for sure would have been intimidated. He forgives Louis, he thinks as he catches a small side smile. He doesn't reply though instead deciding to attach himself to Harry as he sniffles. 

" Sorry papa"

When Lachlan ventures back inside to watch cartoons Louis lingers out on the back patio while Harry calms him down in front of the TV. 

" I'm so sorry Louis. He doesnt normally -" 

" No please, don't do that. It's my fault. I did leave. I promised him I would be here and I wasn't. It's ok. But um..... what's with the no ball talk?" 

Harry ran a hand through his hair. He didn't want to make Louis feel any worse, he could already tell he was struggling with all this. Harry was just hoping that his child wasn't going to be the one thing that pushed Louis away. Sounds dreadful he knows but there's something about Louis he knows feels good and his not ready to part with that just yet. 

" He hasn't touched the ball since you left. " 

Yep, Louis wanted to die.
When we 
unintentionally
hurt someone we love and are unable to do anything about it, that pain cuts deep, because it's not only one person who gets hurt, it's distributed between all that is involved. Louis knew how badly Lachlan was hurting about the situation because well, he was feeling it too.

Lachlan continued to keep himself occupied while Harry and Louis sat and drank coffee. Getting to properly know each other was easy when the conversation flowed naturally. What each other seemed to enjoy the most was the never ending laughter. From Harry's dad jokes to Louis' continuous banter, time moved fast. When they say time flies when you're having fun they are not wrong. Before they know it. The sun is starting to set and Lachlan makes it well known that his tummy needs to be fed. 

" Ok. I will make a start on dinner now. Lou, you wanna stay for some food?" 

It slipped out eagerly and easily before Harry could stop it. Of course, Louis wanted to stay, being around the styles home brought genuine smiles to his face, unlike the fake ones he had been hiding behind for the last couple of years. 

Looking to his left he sees Lachlan lower his eyes to the ground. He isn't sure how he feels and it makes Louis feel uneasy. He takes it as the boy is not keen on him sticking around so he regrettably turns Harry down. 

When Harry accompanies him to the front door upon leaving, he notices Lachlan hovering shyly behind Harry. After thanking Harry for a pleasant day he leans forward to shake his hand as Harry moves in for a hug instead. It's awkward but amusing as they both turn away embarrassed not witnessing the way each of them both blushed as they mirrored each other fixing their hair to calm their nerves. 

He says goodbye to Lachlan who doesn't respond instead tightening his grip on Harry's leg. He turns around and opens the door taking two steps before he comes to a halt at the unexpected voice. 

" Are you coming back?" 
Lachlan asks loudly and confidently but with full sincerity. 

Louis turns back around immediately.

" Would you like me to?" 

Silence falls as Lachlan looks up at Harry. 

" Is he allowed to papa?" 

Harry smiles happily knowing his son has forgiven Louis and that all hope isn't lost. 

"Of course darling. If that's what you want and if Louis would like that, then it's fine by me." 

Lachlan nods his head 'yes'. 

" I'd love to but only if you are sure, I can come back tomorrow if you don't have any plans, I don't need to be back in London til evening." 

Lachlan again opts to stay quiet only nodding his head for a response. 

" It's a plan then. See you tomorrow Lou." Harry states as he gently caresses the little boy's back. 

Lachlan runs off into the other room while Louis begins to walk across the driveway.

" Hey, Lou!" Harry calls out. 

Louis turns around awaiting Harry's next words. 

" Don't run this time yeah" 

Louis smiles hard. 

" I promise." 

************** 
While driving back to the hotel he decides to detour off to take a good look through the town. He finds a small take away shop that is still luckily open and orders some fish and chips.

When he crawls into bed later on in the evening after spending some time on his phone, he decides to text Harry remembering they didn't arrange a time for tomorrow. He opens up his messages and types out his text, glad to have swapped numbers again today after Louis bashfully had to admit he no longer had it. 

To Harry : 
" Today was nice. I'm not going to lie it was good to see you two again and if I haven't said it enough, I apologize again for the whole avoiding you situation. " 

He hovers over the send button debating whether he should add 'I missed you' but decides against it. He sends it off and swears. 

'Fucking hell.' 

He forgot to ask about the time. 

To Harry: 
" What time shall I make my way over tomorrow, as we never mentioned a time earlier." 

Harry takes just over an hour to reply. 

To Louis:
"Sorry just had to bathe Lachy and get him into bed. Contrary to what you may think he was excited to see you today and....so was I. ;) 
Say 11 am?"

Louis can't help the ridiculous way his lips curl into a smile as he types his reply. 

To Harry: 
" Sounds good." 

**************** 

He hears some people talking outside his room in the hotel corridor. They are being extremely loud for before 9 am. He knows it can't be later than that as his alarm hasn't sounded yet. He lazily opens one eye, the sun beating through the curtains lightening the entire room. He rubs the crap out of the corner of his eyes and sits up still half asleep. He stretches a little before convincing himself that he can no longer hold in his pee. 

He searches around in his bag for some clean clothes as he desperately needs a shower. Laying in bed last night he had come up with the idea of heading off to the shops this morning in order to buy Lachy a gift, an idea of what that is, he already has in mind. Now he knows it's wrong to ' Buy Love' and it may come across that way but to Louis, it isn't. There's a reason for his present and he hopes it will make everything better again. 

He turns on the water and adjusts the temperature, throwing his towel across the basin. He runs back out to his phone thinking charging it was a good idea as he forgot to plug it in last night. He turns on the switch watching his phone light up indicating it was charging, in the same process allowing Louis to see the time and What the actual fuck. 

'No No No No No.'

His alarm had gone off at some point earlier this morning and he had slept through it. So many sleepless nights must have caught up with him finally and he certainly hadn't heard it. 

10.16 am....... Fuck.

He runs back to the shower and jumps in, washes his hair in record speed, and jumps out. 

Although he realizes he is going to be late, he still wants to get his present first. Out of sheer forgetfulness and the fact he is stressed about moving quickly it doesn't cross his mind to let Harry know he may not make it on time. 

He googles the shop that he needs and makes it just in time before they close.
He manages to get his trunk closed on the car and speeds over towards Harry's house. The gates are open which he is glad about as he parks up near the front door. As he is about to open his door his message tone goes off. 

To Louis: 
" Please tell me you are not halfway home." 

To Harry:
" Help me. I'm out front. Please tell me Lachlan doesn't think I've left. I won't forgive myself." 

Louis doesn't get a reply. Instead, Harry joins him as he watches Louis attempt to pull the big box out of his boot. 

"Don't let Lachlan see it just yet. Help me out will ya it's kind of heavy." 

Harry jogs closer clasping the box into his grip.

" Well it's your lucky day Lou, Lachlan isn't here. Niall came over for a visit this morning and Lachlan convinced him to go for waffles for breakfast. They lost track of time and are late themselves. Niall is on his way now. Far out what is in here?" 

Louis knows he should have asked but well he simply didn't want to hear a 'no'. He wanted to do this for Lachlan. 

" Ok don't be mad." 

That gained Harry's full attention with a look of concern plastered across his face. 

" It's a present for Lachlan." 

Louis waits for it. A scolding for not asking maybe. Louis suddenly has doubts that buying Lachlan a gift for a kid he has ' just met' may have come across a bit full-on until he watches Harry smile. 

" What is it?" Harry asks when being accustomed to the weight.

************

Niall and Lachlan arrived a mere 12 mins later, just enough time for Louis to set up his surprise. There was a loud squeak of excitement combined with a gasp as Lachlan slowly jogged over to Harry, his eyes not yet deviated from the full length professional soccer goals that were positioned across the lawn.

" Wow, papa, they big ones. I'm going to be the best player in England." 

With so much to see upon arriving home, Lachlan had only just noticed Louis who looked more happy and thrilled than the recipient himself. Louis notices the way Lachlan's face falls. 

" I mean. Thank you papa but me not play no more. You know this. Me no probessinal, can't kick goals, member." 

Louis is starting to think that shit, this might not work and maybe it was a bad idea but Harry... well he knows Lachlan better and has already worked out that little Mr Lachys playing victim to guilt Louis. 

"Don't thank me thank Louis, I didn't buy them, and if you are not interested anymore then me and Louis will play without you. What about you Niall, you wanna play too?" 

" Nah mate I must be going, got some things to do. See ya next time little nugget" Niall says as he gives a high five. " Have fun guys, nice to see your pretty little face back here again Tommo, we will catch up soon" He yells as he enters back through the house to leave.

Harry nods in the direction of the lawn, Louis following his lead. Harry taps the ball to Louis who cleverly starts bouncing the ball between his feet before kicking it hard straight into the goal. 

" Good job Lou, this is so much fun." 

Both Harry and Louis try not to laugh as Lachlan watches on.

" Harry if only we had another player we could almost make a team." 

Louis stops, pulling out the small guernsey he had tucked into the back of his jeans. He hears Lachlan's breath hitch. Louis holds it up to Harry's chest.

" Oh dear, Looks like it's not going to fit you, if only there was someone smaller who loved football." Louis says his thumb and finger resting on his chin as he pretends to think. 

Harry was in awe seeing the red guernsey with the number 28 on the back. He just knew that Lachlan was going to cave any minute.

" What a shame no one else likes football. The salesman behind the counter said it will only fit professional players Papa. It will have to go back to the shop since it won't fit us." 

Hearing Louis call him papa for some reason made Harry's body tingle. 

Louis feels a tad guilty for what they were doing but he was loving the playfulness between them. 

" Me! me! Louis me! It will fit me." Lachlan shouts his hand above his head, pointing down to himself repeatedly. 

Lachlan runs forward reaching his arms up to collect the guernsey. Harry winks to Louis who bends down lowering it over Lachlan's head. 

" Well, would you look at that. It fits perfectly. That means...oh Harry. He is the professional." 

Lachlan jumps up and down a newfound sprout of energy as he sneakily and quickly kicks the ball from Louis' feet sprinting off down the lawn towards the goals. 

" This whole thing was so thoughtful Louis. It looks like he loves football again and it's all thanks to you."

" It was my pleasure but let's not pretend I'm not the reason he stopped to begin with. I felt I needed to make it up to him. I hope I didn't overstep by not asking you first. I just wanted it to be a surprise for you both. "

" It's fine really and... the guernsey it's so cute. Believe it or not, the 28 is perfect. That's his birthday actually. 28th September. What a coincidence "

Louis feels his heart skip a beat.

" Yeah.. obviously..what a coincidence." Was all he could mimic back. 

Even after 30 minutes of playing, Harry still has no idea of the rules as Louis and Lachlan seem to venture off into their own little world. After stopping and watching the way Lachlan's smile kept growing wider and wider each time Louis praised him, Harry knew they wouldn't miss his presence. 

He slowly backed away into the house where he took the opportunity to tidy up. With every chance he got Harry peered out the window. The laughing the yelling, the high fives, and the smiles that bounced back and forth between the two. What he kept seeing wasn't happiness, or something cute. 

What Harry saw ......was his future.

As the afternoon breeze became chilled, Harry had to call it quits. He knew Lachlan would be getting tired and he needed to get a start on dinner. He had spent the last half hour chopping up some vegetables in preparation for a chicken stir fry. 

He leaned over reaching out to the kitchen window and knocking on it loudly drawing Louis' attention. With a hand wave gesturing for them to come inside Harry smiled as they both entered through the sliding door both out of breath and panting for water. Lachlan ran to the fridge grabbing out his water bottle while Harry collected a glass and slid it across the bench to Louis who skulled it down.

" Papa I am so hungry. I puffin sooo much" 

Louis watched on as Lachlan downed his water while Harry wiped his hands on the tea towel. The day had gone so quickly just like it always does when in the company of these boys. The smell of food in the air, the contentment on everyone's faces.

Everything felt real.

Louis got knots in his stomach because even though it all felt real, he wasn't sure it was right. He had tried to promise himself not to get involved with Harry anymore than just friends but if Harry keeps looking at him the way he does, with such lust and desire he isn't sure how much longer he is going to last. 

Harry's eyes fall as though he is wary. Looking to Lachlan then back to Louis, it feels more awkward than it should but considering the way Lachlan had reacted last night he could understand Harry's hesitation. 

" Would you like to join us for dinner?" 

As if Harry and Louis both had the exact same intuition they both turned to examine Lachlan. However, Lachy was focused on untying his shoes which he was trying to remove as he sat on the floor.

Louis thought for a few seconds when it was clear that Lachy wasn't going to give any sort of input, not making it known whether or not he was listening. To play it safe, he kindly declined. 

Louis smiled at Harry and thanked him for a great day. He said goodbye to Lachlan and collected his things. He turned around but didn't even get to leave the kitchen before he felt something making him still. Lachlan's small soft hand fit perfectly within his own. 

" Please stay" a tiny shy voice sounds.

And well Louis stayed because who would say no to that?

***************

Louis left Holmes chapel immediately after dinner. The long drive back he had dreaded, he hates it, it's so tiring but it's a cheap price to pay to see his son. 

The first item on the list of things to do is to chuck his clothes straight into the washing machine. 

He takes his time in the shower before settling into bed. He sets his alarm and groans at the thought of having to be up in 6 hours for work. He sets the phone down on his bedside table at the same precise time that it chimes. 

To Louis: 
" Hope you got home safely. I really enjoyed your company Lou, I mean we both did Lachy and I not just me. Anyway thought you might like this. Snuck it today while you two were playing. See you again soon ?" 

Louis snorts at Harry's awkwardness that projects even through the texts. He opens the attached picture which makes him sit up straight. 
It's a picture of Lachlan and himself clapping as Lachlan had scored a goal.

For many years Lachlan has been the reason for Louis' tears but tonight it's been a nice change as Louis wipes the tears streaming down his cheeks. This time it's happy tears and Louis can't wait to frame it. 

****************

The weekend had been amazing. It's been a massive relief for Louis to be reunited with Lachlan again. The guilt he had felt about Harry was now a distant misunderstanding and thankfully has been forgiven and forgotten.
For the first night in months, retiring for the night didn't feel like a task. 

Curled on his side staring at the opposite wall, his eyelids become heavy. Within a few short seconds, he falls asleep quickly......

with no YouTube needed.

*****************

A/N 

So who was expecting 

Lachlan's

reaction?

Once again sorry for the 
long

wait. 

Please 

remember

to vote, comment 

and

share! 

♡♡♡

# Chapter 8 - Close Call 

Louis has returned to Holmes Chapel every weekend for the last 6 weeks, so it's no surprise that he is greeted by his name as he checks into the local B&B once again. The difference is, is that this week he has arrived a lot later than usual. The constant traveling and visits have turned into a very precise routine. 

Normally on Fridays Kevin, who is continually witnessing the progression of Louis falling head over heels in, dare he say it.. love? (although Louis himself has not yet realized it) allows him to leave work early, escaping the shop at 2 pm instead of 5 pm knowing Louis is eager to beat the weekend traffic. This usually enables Lou to check in by 6 pm. There's no need to go home after leaving the shop. He packs his bag Thursday night so he can get a quick getaway. 

However today Kevin was absent from work, having had to return home just before lunch due to a severe migraine. He knew Kev needed some rest, it just pained him that he had to stay back longer to close. He texted Harry first letting him know he couldn't make it tonight and that he would see them first thing in the morning.

From Harry: 
"Oh no! Poor Kevin. Sounds horrible. It's a shame you won't get here in time tonight, I had plans for pasta and garlic bread. Was going to go all out Italian for you." 

It had become a habit of sorts. Checking in at 6 pm, arriving at Harry's by 6.30 pm. Of course, he needed that extra 30 to fix his clothes and hair. By 7 pm Harry's weekly dinner was served. 
That's just how life is turning out in the present.

Louis hasn't felt this relaxed and at ease in so long. There's no awkwardness between the pair anymore as the two had grown rather fond of each other. Neither can explain the reasoning behind how close they have become so quickly all while keeping a 'platonic' friendship because that's exactly how they have kept it. There hasn't been any sort of advancements, banter, and flirting maybe but that's where it ends. H nor L don't want to ruin the good thing they already have going on. Even when they are both unwilling to admit it out loud that they wished for more. 

Louis however isn't oblivious, he knows that if he made a move on him that Harry would relish in it. Harry doesn't do much to hide his interest. The little subtle touches, like the hand grazing along his lower back as he walks by or the pet names that so often slip casually out of his mouth. Attraction is undeniably obvious but Louis likes how things are panning out. 

Seeing Lachlan every weekend has been the most grateful thing he has been gifted in years and well harry, not only was he beautiful to look at but he was also wonderful company. Currently what they have going on now was 'easy' and 'nice' but as the sun continues to set and rise each day both parties are beginning to fall into a blissful form of domestication that neither of them are willing to confess.

If only one would admit how he is really starting to feel and if the other would somehow gain the courage to be brave and make a move then maybe just maybe the possibility of a relationship could form. 

*************

It turns out that traffic wasn't so bad and even with leaving at 5, he arrives a lot earlier than expected. Okay so there was some really really fast acceleration going on and maybe he exceeded the speed limit the entire time but when he arrives at 8.20 pm at first he considers not telling Harry, opting to catch an early sleep but he can't. He has waited all week to see their faces, so he caves and calls. Harry begs him to come over, even if only for a few hours. 

Lachlan unfortunately is already asleep having had a half day at kindergarten and spending time with grandma for the rest of it. 

There's something about the way Harry's face lights up when he sees him that has Louis weak at the knees. A cup of tea later and a long conversation about how life has treated them this past week, they both are not in the mood for much else. Having had a rough week at work, Harry offers for them to relax with a movie which is music to Louis' ears. 

The night has gotten away from him and no matter how hard he tries to stop his eyelids from closing, he simply can't. Although it's a lounge it's rather snug and comfy and he guesses it has something to do with it being Italian-made. It could possibly have something to do with the way he is laying down, his legs across Harry's lap. He didn't put them there, Harry had lifted and placed them there and he doesn't mind one bit. He wouldn't have it any other way, to be honest. 

He isn't asleep long before Harry hears him snore. He lifts his legs gently in order to stand and walks over to the cupboard to collect a blanket. Upon returning he takes a secret moment to just stand back and admire the essence of the beauty, sleeping contently before him. He tries his best not to, he has done so well up to this point by holding back, the fear of scaring Louis off once again a constant worry swimming in his thoughts but he can't help it tonight. 

The moment his hand makes contact with his cheek, something ignites warmthness in his stomach. His cheeks are so soft and Harry wouldn't admit it out loud to anyone but in this moment of time he would sell his soul to be able to kiss his cheekbone, or forehead he would settle for anything if only given the chance. Once the blanket has been placed over him gently, he walks away quickly and quietly before he couldn't resist kissing his eyelashes that were delicately long and heavenly and to simply put it knocking the life out of him. He takes a couple of steps when his text sound goes off. He wishes he had muted it because Louis sits upright frantically taking in his surroundings. 

" Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I've just been so tired, I, yeah, I better get going " He apologizes in one rushed out breath.

Harry watches on as Louis folds the blanket rapidly before collecting his phone and keys off the coffee table in front of him.

" Stay" 

It shoots out of Harry's mouth before he gets the chance to contemplate it. Louis would be lying if he said he didn't want to. He looks down at his watch seeing it's 11.02 pm. 

" Lou, it's late and cold out. You are more than welcome to stay." 

He can tell he is thinking about it but understands his decision as he reaches for his shoes to put on. 

" No, it's fine. I will be back tomorrow, promised Lachlan we would take him to the cinema remember." 

Harry nods his head in acknowledgment, a tad disappointed in the outcome. He can tell Louis is exhausted. When he had arrived tonight he had dark rings under his eyes and was continuously yawning. 

Louis wants nothing more than to stay but Harry has become his best friend and as previously stated before he has been lacking in the friend's department for an extremely long time. He enjoys the fun and happiness that comes with keeping their company and even though Harry has proven to be everything Louis has ever dreamed of in a man, he values both Harry and Lachlan too much to stuff it all up. He came very close to losing it all once before and he doesn't want to make the same mistake again.

" Ok. Drive safe. See you tomorrow." 

Harry is giving him the look. The look he has come to know so well over the weeks. It's a notion of innocence, a pleading if you will. His alluring green eyes softened and saddened like that of a puppy who has just been declined a walk. 

Harry is going to be the reason he goes into cardiac arrest one day he is sure of it and could no doubt possibly guarantee it. It's been getting harder and harder to say no to him and Lachlan for that matter. How he wishes he had met Harry under different circumstances, a different time perhaps, then things wouldn't be so complicated and he could possibly love Harry freely without any implications. Unfortunately, that scenario doesn't exist for him. 

***********

Harry is freaking out.
It's Lachlan's first experience in a cinema and already he has had both his fingers and toes crossed and prayed the whole drive over, that his son is going to behave and that there will hopefully be a limited amount of people attending. Lachlan sometimes has a very short attention span and can begin fidgeting, becoming agitated. 

Lachlan had made the suggestion last week when he practically begged to go and see the new ' Buzz Lightyear' movie and when Harry had first upset the young lad by letting him down gently saying no, Louis had sweet-talked Harry into it when Lachlan had gone to bed. 
Let's just say Louis, had become Lachlan's new favourite adult in an instant. 

Lachlan sits in between them, his smile beaming proudly as he stuffs another handful of popcorn into his mouth. Louis mouths ' 
He will be fine, relax' 
and somehow it's enough to settle Harry's nerves.

Louis takes a large swig of his cola and ruffles the top of Lachlan's hair when he keeps telling him how excited he is for the movie. Harry is keeping his eyes focused on the way Lachlan already has not managed to stay still while the previews are on. Unfortunately for Harry the cinema is packed. 

" wllyustyova"

Harry and Louis share a quick laugh as they both turn to Lachlan not understanding a word he had just said because his mouth was filled to the brim as he tried to crunch the popcorn. 

" You wanna swallow that and try again bud, Papa and I have no idea what it is you just said." 

The little boy chews fast with a smirk on his face and with his final swallow he looks to Harry and then to Louis. 

" I said.... Can you sleep over tonight Louis? Like a sleepover party. My friend Damien at kindergarten says he has his friends sleep over all the time. You are my friend right Louis? so let's have a sleepover! Sleepover time yay" he shouts the last part and Harry looks around to see eyes on him everywhere. 

Harry nor Louis have no idea what to say. There's a brief few seconds where's it dead quiet the eye contact between the men having a silent conversation. 

The light dims as the movie begins to play and Lachlan claps excitedly. 

" Shhh now mate ok. Remember there's no talking while the movie is on." 

Lachlan rolls his eyes at Harry before whispering his reply.

" Yes, I know papa you told me a gazillion times."

Harry notices Louis is staring at the screen. His whole demeanor has changed since Lachlan's suggestion and he can tell Louis looks worried. He just wishes he knew why it was that Louis had so much trouble liking the idea. 

The whole length of the movie Louis spends thinking about his current predicament. Hearing Lachlan ask him to stay had hit him harder than when Harry had.

It only seems like 10 minutes goes by before the lights reappear and Harry is praising Lachlan. 

" I'm so proud of you baby, well done you were so quiet."

" Super dooper quiet papa, I told you I could do it, even Louis told you I could do it." 

Louis lets out a cackle and he hopes to God no one asks him what the movie was about because he seriously has no idea with not been paying attention. 

Since the movie started at 12.15 pm it's only just passed 2 pm. Harry is driving and nods his head at Louis indicating to look at Lachlan who was already dozing off in his seat, the excitement of the day already tiring him out. They continue on for another 30 seconds both assuming he is asleep but unlucky for Louis he is awake. 

" You still sleeping over Louis?" 

And fuck. 

He had totally thought he had forgotten since he never pressed about it earlier. And still? He can't remember first agreeing but anyhow. All the thinking throughout the movie was put to good use and Louis has a plan in mind. 

Harry's intense stare as he awaits Louis' response makes him a bit nervous. He turns around to face Lachlan with a little smile. 

" Well I've been thinking and if papa says yes then I would love to come to your sleepover party." 

Louis can see how hard Harry's trying to hold back a smile. 

" But" Louis continues. " How about we all sleep together in the lounge room? We can make forts" Louis exclaims as Lachlan's eyes widen at the prospect. 

" Oh please, papa, please. I want forts. I can bring Bobby and my water bottle and torch and snacks" Lachlan rambles on while Louis mouths to Harry.

" Bobby?" 

" His teddy" 

" Oh." 

Louis came to believe that if they all slept together in the lounge room there was no chance of any naughty business happening with Harry. He felt safe and guarded knowing he couldn't be tempted to sneak off to Harry's room or vice versa. Yep, his plan is fail-proof. 

With the new plan in place for this evening, Harry suggests they stop off at the grocery store for the 'snacks' that Lachlan seems to demand they acquire.

" No no, and no" 

" Harrrry" Louis says frustrated at the same time Lachlan says " Papaaa" 

" I don't care. That's wayyy too much sugar. You won't sleep tonight if you eat all that." 

Harry takes the skittles off of Lachlan and snatches the M&Ms out of Louis' hand. Harry wants nothing more than to tell Louis how freaking adorable he looks while he pouts like a child. 

Harry places a packet into the trolley and Louis automatically picks it back up to look at it. 

" Are you serious Harold? Vegetable chips?" 

Harry smirks producing those dimples and turns around forwarding towards the next aisle. Louis looks at Lachlan who is still standing right beside him and grabs the skittles back off the self and hides it under his armpit. While Lachlan hides his mouth with his hand as he giggles. 

" Don't tell papa. Now let's find him before he gets suspicious." 

Happy. Louis is the happiest he has been in years. There are no other words to explain it, today has been perfect and he couldn't have wished for more. 

He starts to round the corner into the next aisle when he freezes. He can hear Harry chatting away laughing with a woman. 

" Lachlan darling. Nice to see you again." She says cooing. Louis stays put listening from where he is out of sight. 

It's not the fact that Harry is talking to a woman, it's not even the overly cute tone in which she uses to address Lachlan that's got him quivering from head to toe. 

He can feel his heart rate increase with every breath he takes. Although at the moment he doesn't seem to think he is even breathing. It happens quickly. Lachlan comes back around and pulls Louis by the hand to expose his presence. 

" This is my new friend" Lachlan says.

He looks to Harry first who seems happy at the fact of introducing him to someone but then his eyes settle on hers as she slightly gasps. 

Louis can feel the sweat dripping down the back of his neck in anticipation of how this is going to pan out. Her eyes indicate she is in shock as she keeps scanning her eyes between all 3 of them. She somehow produces a small but uncertain smile 

" Lo- " 

Louis cuts her off immediately. He extends his hand out. 

" Hello. I'm Louis it's nice to meet you." He smiles praying to fucking God she understands the assignment. 

Looking confused but catching on quickly she accepts his handshake. 

" Nice to meet you, Louis. My name is Melissa but most people call me Mel." 

As Harry engages in conversation for a few minutes longer, Louis just stands there, his eyes diverting around the store. 

Finally, they all say their goodbyes and the three of them proceed to the checkout. He glances over his shoulder back at Mel who is still watching on. She discreetly gestures to him to come back.

" You guys go ahead I might just grab some necessities, for my drive home tomorrow. " 

The moment he turns into her isle she scolds him. 

" What the hell Louis?" 

He doesn't know how to explain all this. He had told Melissa he just wanted to see Lachlan just the once and he would walk away.

" Going by the introduction I'm guessing he doesn't know who you are? How did you get to this? Are you guys hanging out now, oh God are you two dating?" 

Her words are not meant in haste. He can see how distraught she is at the thought of all this turning south. After all, her job is on the line if anyone ever finds out she provided Harry's address. 

" No, no we are just friends. Really good friends." 

Louis is trying to work out what must be going on in her head. 

Mel can see Louis is struggling. 

" Oh Hunny, what have you gotten yourself into? You are playing with fire." 

" I just saw him and...." 

He fights back the urge to cry. It's the last thing he needs, a meltdown in the middle of aisle 7. 

Melissa tugs him in for a hug and pats his back providing the comfort she knew he needed. Holding the embrace for a few seconds she pulls back keeping a grip on his biceps. 

" He looks just like you doesn't he." 

It should make him feel better but instead, it opens up the floodgates and tears roll slowly down his cheeks. 

" He is. I only wanted to see him once but then... But then I couldn't leave... Not again." 

Melissa collects her travel tissue packet from her handbag and hands him one. 

" You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you about how beautiful Lachlan is. Harry too. I've kept in contact with them just as I did with you. Very nice man. Mature, head strong and.....a great father Lou." 

Louis nods his head. 

" I know. " 

" Are you going to tell him?" 

Louis knew this question was coming. Did he have an answer? He bites his lip as he thinks. 

" I mean I wasn't going to, then I thought about it but then we hit it off and.....and now I'm scared if he finds out I will lose Lachlan... Lose them both and I...I can't lose them, Mel. I can't.."

Melissa convinces Louis to make another appointment at her office so they can sit and talk privately. Louis agrees without hesitation. 

Louis pays for the skittles and hides them in his jumper. He hurries out to the car where Harry is waiting patiently. He buckles his seat belt and Harry looks over him quizzatively.

" What?" 

" Where's your stuff? 

FUCK. 

" Couldn't find what I wanted." 

************

By the time Harry has bathed Lachlan and gotten him dressed in his pj's ready for bed, it's 8 pm before they even begin on their adventure of building a fort. It seems Harry and Louis both have different ideas of what a ' fort ' should look like. 

Harry's first attempt at using the kitchen chairs failed immediately as the sheets fell hopelessly to the ground the moment they tried to enter.

" Well I did try and warn ya it wasn't gonna hold but....someday you might listen" Louis teases. 

" Shut up Tomlinson. By all means, if you can do better. " 

And we'll Louis isn't one to back down from a challenge. 

It takes a lot longer to prepare than Harry's did. A whole hour actually. Lachlan, who doesn't actually appear tired in the least, laughs at the constant banter as he watches the playfulness between his papa and his ' friend'. 

" There all done." 

" Finally" Harry chuckles. 

" Hey watch it styles at least mine is still standing. " 

Lachlan wastes no time getting in. 
Harry follows next followed lastly by Louis. 

" It's great Lou, a little snug thou." 

To get the sheet to hang precisely how he wanted it, he had to compromise on the size. 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/1194d91bcef5055e5ac663d1d210d941db1382d2/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f734d3639377568364d616b3958773d3d2d313238303138383934332e313732346661623034613636363966633832363231333236363036302e6a7067)

" Yeah couldn't help that sorry. " 

Lachlan lays down in the middle claiming his spot, already rubbing at his eyes. 

" If we sleep on our sides it shall be fine." 
Harry laughs. 

" Well, we shall see." 

After a last minute dash to the toilet and a bedtime story, Lachlan takes hold of his teddy. 

" I'm sleepy papa" 

Harry lifted the blanket up and over his chest. Harry bends down placing a kiss on his forehead. 

" I love you munchkin. Have a good sleep and don't let the...." 
Harry pauses while he thinks.
" floor bugs bite" 

Louis laughs.
" Jesus Christ Harry." 

" What... Well we aren't in a bed are we?" 

" I don't get it." Lachlan interrupts 

They both share a laugh.

To Louis's surprise, Lachlan rolls over and kisses his forehead too and Louis feels himself melt into a puddle. 

" Good night" 

" Good night buddy" 

Lachlan turns back to his papa and kisses him back but continues to stare at him. Harry is waiting for him to speak but he doesn't. 

" What? Why are you looking at me like that?" 
Lachlan raises his eyebrows annoyed like Harry should know what the problem is but Harry has no idea. 

" What's the matter," Harry asks again. 

" You didn't kiss Louis good night papa" he says, a hint of annoyance in his tone, like the non kiss had offended him somehow. 

" Oh um..." 

He looks to Louis who is no help, stunned also by the boy's words.

" I only kiss you goodnight my sweet." 

Lachlan looks angry. Harry thinks it's a joke but the frown marks on his forehead tell a different story and Harry doesn't know whether he should laugh or cry. 

" Papa. What do you say to me all the time when I don't feel like kissing you?" 

Harry feels like the 4 year old has cornered him and not in a good way. 

" I always say..... In this house, we always kiss each other good night" 

Lachlan smiles although Louis could swear on his life it looks more like a smirk. A winning smirk and he doesn't know if he should feel proud of his boy at this moment. 

" Yes, papa you do. Now kiss him goodnight." 

" But.." 

" Papa!! Is Louis not in this house right now? In this house, we kiss each other good night." 

Beaten. By his own son nonetheless. He glances at Louis who has his lips pressed together trying to contain any sort of composure that he might have had left. He shrugs his shoulders at Harry like he doesn't mind. 

Harry is screaming with excitement on the inside. 

He leans over Lachy slowly, Louis meeting him in the middle. Harry aims for the cheek as Louis moves slightly the nerves rushing through him making him a little off balance. Harry's lips press to the corner of Louis's mouth and for a second Louis momentarily stops breathing.
But before pulling away, his lips still in close proximity he says. 

" Good night Lou" 

" Night Harry." 

" THAT'S BETTER!!" shouts a little voice before closing his eyes. 

Harry had chosen to watch some rom-com with Ryan gosling in it and they continue to watch on silently for another 40 minutes before Louis falls asleep and Harry switches it off. 

Although today had been a little scary for Louis bumping into Mel, the night had ended beautifully. 

When Harry finally closes his eyes he zones in on not one but 2 sets of snores and Harry can't help but wish every night was like this. 

1 Happy sleepy contented boy
1 man who is smitten 
1 man who is already deeply in love. 

************

Even when the ground is hard, their necks are sore and they have cramps in their legs, funny enough they both manage to achieve a perfect night's sleep. So much so that when Louis opens his eyes the room is illuminated by the sun bellowing in through the windows. He goes to move and stops when he realizes Lachlan is no longer in the fort and Harry's legs are entwined with his own. 

Louis hates the fact that it feels nice. All of it. 
That he is here in the styles household spending the night with both Lachy and Harry. Hearing Lachy sing along to cartoons that seem to be playing in the other room. The heaviness but soothing feeling of Harry's limbs combined with his own. 
All of it. 

He doesn't move straight away trying to make mental note of how it all feels never wanting to forget. After a few moments, he gently moves Harry's legs and climbs out. 

What Louis wasn't aware of was Harry being already awake. He had woken the same time as Louis and like him, he also stayed quiet enjoying the closeness. He waited a whole 15 minutes to remove himself from the fort. He didn't want to leave too soon after Louis in the hopes it wouldn't give off the impression that he was already awake. 

After visiting the bathroom he hears noise coming from the kitchen. What he walks in on makes Harry fond like never before. Louis and Lachlan are both sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal. It's a funny sight to see and luckily for Louis Harry doesn't think much more of it but the pair are collectively dipping their spoons into the bowls at the exact same time, their heads bowed in the exact same position, turning to smile at each other at the exact same time. Harry doesn't mention it but he does find it amusing how oddly similar the pair are. 

" Play ball today Louis?" Lachlan asks. 

" Of course." 

Harry makes his presence known by entering the room.

" Papa look Louis let me have fruit loops, no oatmeal today papa," he says poking his tongue out. Louis turns to him in disbelief. 

'" You told me papa lets you have it all the time you lying little sod" 

Lachy laughs 
"yeah, he does every Wednesday. That's the only day I'm allowed the stuff that ruins my teeth."

" Sugar" Louis informs him. 

" Sugar, yeah sugar that's the one. Boy Louis you really are a smart boy." 

Louis thought it was a joke but the sincerity in Lachlan's voice is enough to make him lean over and cuddle him. 

" I am smart." Louis returns bopping his nose. 

Louis is fast to realize Harry doesn't look so pleased, so he turns his full attention back to Lachlan immediately. 

" Butttt I'm only smart like that because I ate all my oatmeal."

Harry smirks and continues to walk on by behind Louis lowering his hand down onto his shoulder. 

" You wanna cuppa love?" 

Love. 
Louis really likes hearing it and he assumes the times that Harry has said it must have been said sub-consciously without him realizing it. 
Either way, Louis secretly wishes he never stops. 

" Yes please." 

***************

After a morning of playing ball in the backyard, it's come time for Louis to once again say his goodbyes. This is really starting to become the worse and most sufferable part of his week. 

When he says goodbye to Lachlan who runs back inside, Louis is left standing before Harry who uses the opportunity to pull him into a hug. 

" Next week?" 

Harry doesn't know why he continues to ask. It's always the same answer. 

" If you will have me" 

Harry lets go and watches Louis slide down into the driver's seat. Having no clue what prompts him to do so, Harry leans down into the window and plants a kiss to Louis' cheek. 

" Shit. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. Should I have done that? Shit no sorry..shit." 

If he wasn't in shock at the sweet peck that has left a small burn on his cheek he would laugh at Harry's rambling. He doesn't know what to say or do. So he just turns the engine on and Harry thinks for a minute that he might have well and truly fucked everything up....but Louis gives a wide smile, waves, and proceeds down the driveway. 

The whole drive home Louis keeps touching his cheek, trying hard to remember if that kiss had really happened. His jaw is sore from smiling the entire 4-hour trip home. Louis really wishes he had pulled a sickie and stayed in Holmes Chapel. 

He is only home for an hour when he receives a text message from Harry.

From Harry:
" Any idea where these skittles came from? They miraculously appeared inside Lachlan's bedside table and he swears he has no idea how they got there and somehow in the mix of it all, he promised me that you didn't hide them under your arm and sneak them into his room." 

Louis lets out a belly clenching laugh. 

To Harry: 
" Innocent until proven guilty." 

He is just about to hit send when another message comes through. 

From Harry: 
" Well well well...It seems Lachlan doesn't enjoy lying as he just came into my room crying and apologizing for not telling the truth. You my friend have been ratted out. You naughty boy. " 

Little snitch, Louis thinks to himself but is secretly over-happy that his boy is so well-mannered and knows right from wrong. All credit to Harry of course. 

He types out his reply and stares at the screen for way longer than he needed to. 5 minutes pass before he finally hits send, not knowing whether he made the right choice. He curses at himself knowing his 4 year old had a better understanding between rights and wrongs than he did. 

To Harry: 
" Guilty. Feel free to slap my ass as punishment when I return 😉" 

He regrets it the moment he sends it. 
The reply comes almost immediately. 

From Harry : 
" I'm not sure if that would be considered punishment, in my eyes for me, that would be a pleasure. See you next week Tomlinson." 

Louis sinks down into his bed. 
If Louis took hold of himself and thought about the prospect of Harry's hands all over him, then nobody needed to know.

Louis has never been so eager to return home. No Holmes Chapel, Holmes Chapel, he corrects.

**************** 

A/N 

Ok, so time to get their relationship moving. 

I'm sensing some fluff next chapter and......

I've heard 

a

rumor that little Lachlan overhears something he shouldn't. 👀

# Chapter 9 - Tears & Tantrums

A/N 

I appreciate how patient you all have been. 

So here is a reward
. 

3 chapters in one. 

Enjoy the 9k-word chapter.
Also, most of this was written late at night if any of the plot doesn't add up feel free to let me know. Sorry if I've missed any grammar mistakes. The chapter took forever to spell check. 

❤🥰

***********

The two most powerful warriors in life, are that of patience and time. Right now, Louis is struggling with both. 

Louis is far from being clueless or naive but they do say love is blind. It must be the reason that he can't seem to join the dots just quite yet. His mind is in shambles as he once again looks over at the clock but is annoyed to notice it's only been another two minutes since he last checked. He doesn't seem to understand why it is that Monday through to Friday time moves slowly. While Friday to Sunday when in the presence of his two favourite people, time simply disappears.

It's currently 4.58 pm Wednesday night and Kevin has just delivered some very welcomed words. The music shop will be closed Thursday and Friday as Kevin has a late minute family event to attend to over in Paris and decided to close up to give them both a well deserved break. 

Although the idea of extra time off was appealing to him, a smaller paycheck was not. It's costing him a lot of money with the amount of trips back and forth. Gas money, hotel rooms, food, it all adds up quickly and after he pays his rent and living expenses he has already burnt through nearly all his savings. Even with that in mind, he somehow still manages to make it work, because something as small as money, he was not going to allow to stand between himself and his son. If that meant going without power or food at some point, if it eventually got that far, then so be it. It would be worth it. 

After wishing Kevin all the best on his train ride over to the city of love, Louis heads straight home. He is midway through opening an instant pack of noodles when his phone scares the shit out of him. He leans over the counter lifting to see the caller ID, his smile fading when he pauses letting it ring out. 

1 missed call Melissa. 

He knows she has his best interests at heart and yes he still wants to see her for the appointment they had agreed upon but Louis keeps having the urge to ignore it. It might have something to do with the fact he fears that seeing Mel and hearing her wise words will probably convince him to walk away from Harry and Lachlan and even though, yes, he did at some point think he should do that, he isn't quite sure he could do that now or even if he wanted to, for that matter.

He opts for an early night jumping under the covers at 8.30 pm. He can feel his eyes getting heavy as he blinks slowly at the ceiling. It has become apparent that sleeping during the week is non-existent again. Weekends however are a completely different story. One and a half hours later, his phone rings startling him awake. He clears his voice as he tries to sit up when he notices it's Harry. 

" Styles, it's Wednesday night, I thought you would be deep into that food marathon thing that you wanted to watch."

He hears a slight laughing scoff before Harry informs him as to why he had called. 

" Sorry, were you in bed? Your voice sounds a little hazy. I should hang up. It's late I'm sorry." 

" No, please don't, it's fine. What's up?" 

It's then Louis hears sniffling on the other end of the line and it's not coming from Harry. He pulls back the phone from his ear to confirm the time. It's 10 pm. 

" Lachlan is not having a good night. He um, he has been upset and he wanted to call you. You are normally awake and I just thought -" 

Louis doesn't mean to but without realizing he interrupts him abruptly. Knowing Lachlan was distressed and had asked for him specifically did something to him, his heart raced as concern kicked in. 

" Shit is he ok? Put him on." 

Harry doesn't reply, a bit of rustling is heard before a tiny voice timidly creeps through.

" Louis?"

His voice is trembling as he sniffles his nose. 

" What's wrong buddy? Calm down for me yeah, take a deep breath........That's good, now what's the matter?"

" Ummm...You know the other night when you were here and I had a bad dream? You said that you were a monster fighter and that nothing could get me because you were here, you remember that?" 

Louis holds back a giggle, relaxing somewhat, now knowing it wasn't an emergency or something too serious. 

" Yes darling, I remember that." 

"Well....* sniffles* I... I had a bad dream again and the thing is, papa isn't strong against monsters, actually, he even said they are not real Louis but you told me you fight them, so papa must be lying, we know they're real Louis and I need you here but papa said I could call you instead but that isn't going to work because papa won't fight them and I'm too small Louis, I'm too small, I can't do it" 

He breaks out into a cry and Louis' first initial thought is to get dressed and drive straight there. It's killing him hearing the way he sounds so distraught and scared. The monster fighter story he had used last week to convince him back to bed had worked well but he hadn't realized it could have had a longer lasting effect. 

" Hey hey hey. Listen to me ok. Is the phone on speaker?" 

Lachlan nods his head 'yes' not understanding that Louis cannot see it. Harry answers for him in the background with an 'it is' 

" Ok Lachlan, I need you to close your fists and puff out your chest for me like you are big and strong. Show me your muscles. Papa can show you what to do." 

" I'm doing it." He says a couple of seconds later. 

" Good. Now get your angry face on, is it on? 

He hears a faint yes.

" Now... In your scariest voice, I want you to tell the monsters that you are strong and brave and that you are protected by Louis, and that they need to leave your house right now. Can you do that for me?" 

" I will try." 

He hears him do it and Louis can confirm his heart has 100% melted. 

" One last thing I need you to do for me alright? First, take a deep breath and say....' Monsters, I'm not scared of you " 

The line goes silent. 

" Lachy, you alright? " 

" ok. I say it. " 

And so he does.

" Louder sweetheart louder! " 

Lachlan screams it out while Louis smiles as he pulls the phone away from the screech deafening his eardrum.

" Did you hear that, did you? I heard them leave Lachy, they are gone now baby. See, you are a brave little monster fighter just like me and you know what, monster fighters.... they need lots of sleep. So, give papa a cuddle and a kiss and hope back into bed alright." 

" Ok, thank you, Louis. You are always the hero."

" Good night love. Can you please put papa back on the phone for a quick second?" 

" Oh my God thank you so much, Lou. He was in a right fit and all he wanted was you and shit I'm sorry I woke you and all that." 

" It's fine really, I'm glad that I could help. It's kind of my fault anyway, the whole monster thing huh" Louis laughs. 

" It's all good. I'm just glad he has settled down. Speaking of, I better get him back into bed. I will see you Friday. Goodnight Lou and thanks again" 

" No problem, Night Harry."

Plugging his phone back into the charger he sits quietly on the edge of his bed, his head hung low as he stares off into space looking at nothing in particular. 

Then it happens. 

Louis cried immediately as Lachlan's words ran over and over through his head. He cried and not because it was cute but because his words had stung.

A hero? 

A hero wouldn't have turned his back on him the moment he was born. A hero wouldn't have been a coward to raise him because he was scared he would look like his toxic father. A hero wouldn't have given up and a hero most definitely wouldn't have given him away. 

**********

Harry is in a great mood the following morning. After dropping Lachlan into kindergarten he detoured to the pharmacy in order to purchase some more hay fever tablets before venturing off to work. 

" May I help you with anything?" 

The lady offers as she smiles politely. 

He hadn't realized he had stopped walking and was just standing there, staring at the shelves. He becomes embarrassed very quickly. 

" No, I'm ok. I'm... Yeah, I'm good. Thanks anyway." 

With a courteous grin, she nods and walks away. Harry lets out a breath of air from his lips, his cheeks surely flushed with humility. He remembers coasting up and down the aisles, in search of the antihistamines but since the constant thoughts of Louis had been distracting him all morning he hadn't realized where he had stopped and found himself zoned out in a daze. 

Well, these were certainly not what he had been looking for. Or was it?

Small, medium, large, extra large, banana, strawberry, glow in the dark, ribbed. The options seemed endless. He runs his hand through his hair as he looks around the shops hoping nobody he knows is around. He hasn't had to buy these for a long time and suddenly he giggles to himself as he suddenly, feels like a teenager again. He reaches for a box and then stops because......
what the fuck was he doing?!?!?

He stares at the packet as he argues within himself.

' You don't need these, you haven't even kissed properly yet' 

' 
Get them, it's better to be safe than sorry.'


Ultimately the logic that made sense wins. He picks it up and walks towards the counter, a cocky smirk breaking out at the 

' EXTRA LARGE' 

packet he had grabbed. 

There's an older lady being served who will not stop talking. Harry keeps looking at his watch. The cashier isn't making it any easier by encouraging the conversation further by continuing on. When the lady FINALLY decides she's had enough gossip for the day and steps aside Harry makes his way to the front placing the packet on the counter just as he hears a squeal.

" No way... Why didn't you tell me you and Louis are already at that stage." 

Lo and behold, Niall and his uncanny timing. He pays the worker grabbing Niall by the arm and tugging him out the door. Niall can't stop smiling as Harry goes on a tyraid about how he has it all wrong and it's " Not what he thinks it means".

" So leave it at that, let's go come on. Isn't there somewhere you need to be, like work maybe" 

" Ok, Yes and I'm going BUT you Mister have some explaining to do. Drinks after work at the pub my friend, text me when you are on your way." 

" I can't, I have to watch -"

" I will call Anne" he shouts back.

" No you won't" Harry yells as Niall closes the door to his car. 

' Shit ' 

There are two problems with this scenario.

First off, Harry really really really doesn't want to discuss this with Niall. Not yet anyway. He loves him tremendously, but the situation with Louis isn't even clear to him yet, so there's not much to discuss anyway but Niall is Niall. 

Secondly, Anne is fluent in four different languages, English, Italian, French, and German. Sadly enough, she hasn't mastered the word ' No' in any of them. Well, not to Niall at least anyway. Anne has always had a soft spot for Niall, his Irish charm and sweetness while growing up sure had Anne treating Niall like one of her own.

Looks like drinks with Niall are unavoidable. I mean, what could go wrong?

Harry just makes it to work when his text message sound goes off. 

From Mum:
" Niall called, I will collect Lachy from Kindy today. I don't have anything on. I'd be glad to babysit while you and Niall catch up. Take your time. Xoxo" 

Jesus Christ. 
Niall surely works fast.

************

The idea of productivity was to keep his mind totally busy in the hopes of making time go faster. It's Thursday morning and after the ordeal with Lachy last night, Louis gave up trying to sleep. By 9 am he had not only washed his sink full of dishes but had washed dried and folded his clothes, swept and mopped the floor, shaved, and showered. 

Turning on the pedestal fan simply for the sound, he collapsed down into the lounge curling up into the fetal position as he flicked on the T.V. The housework had done its job. It didn't succeed in making time move quicker but it did in tiring him out. Within minutes, he was out like a light.

**********
When he opens his eyes again he can tell by how lit up the room is that it's past noon. He gets up to take a wee but stops when he looks at the television screen. The channel he had been previously watching was now playing a kid's movie. 

It's Monsters INC. 

Now, all he can think about again is his little monster fighter. 

Louis proceeds to the bathroom. He washes his hands and stares at himself in the mirror. It's then he makes the decision. He is going to go to Holmes Chapel tonight and surprise the boys. 

He collects his bag and starts to pack his clothes and when he has finally finished and is ready to go, he hears his stomach rumble. It's a short drive to fill the car with gas and by 1 pm he is cruising along the highway. He stops midway at a small gas station finally succumbing to the desperate call from his belly. A hotdog is sufficient and it's not too long until he is once again checking in. 

The gravel is crunching under his feet as he approaches Harry's door. By the time he freshened up in his hotel room, it had just turned 6. When he presses the doorbell it's only then he thinks to himself that Harry might not be home yet and maybe a surprise visit wasn't a good idea. He doesn't get a chance to dwell on much more as the door swings open revealing Anne. 

" Louis love, what a nice surprise. Come in, Come in. " 

Anne ushers him through without hesitation. 

" Lovely to see you again, I'm sorry for the intrusion but I wanted to surprise - " 

" LOUIS !!!!!" 

Louis finds himself having to catch Lachlan who has run and jumped up into his arms. Louis doesn't hide the massive smile he produces and Anne, well she DOES hide the fact that she notices how much Lachlan already adores Louis immensely. 

Lachlan pulls him over to the kitchen where he had been colouring in with his grandma. 

" Look Louis, I was just drawing a picture of you, sleeping with papa. " he tacks onto the end. 

Louis's eyes shoot upwards glancing towards Anne who isn't showing any type of emotion 

Anne decides to make Louis sweat it a little.

" Louis and Daddy sleep together do they?" She presses Lachlan with a large smile, although she really isn't and would never do so, it's just she already knows about the fort sleeping party. Lachlan had told her the following day when she had visited. 

" With you as well" Louis says quickly trying to make the whole story known so Anne wouldn't get the wrong idea potentially ruining his chance of Anne ever liking him. 

" In a fort, all together fully clothed in the lounge room" Louis adds on fast as he uses his finger to adjust the collar of his shirt around his neck, nerves fully kicking in. 

Anne presses her lips together as she watches Louis fall to pieces and she can't do it any longer. 

" Oh God Louis love, relax. I know all about the fort, Lachy was so excited he told me about it last week. I was just teasing you darling. " she cackles. 

And now Louis understands where Harry gets his dry sense of humour from. 

" Jesus " 

They both laugh. 

"Anyhow, I'm watching the little man for a while as Harry isn't home, he is out with Niall at the pub. You should go and surprise him. I'm sure he will be thrilled to see you." 

He notices Lachlan pout. 

" I will be back tomorrow. I promise." 

" Ok"

Louis high fives him and ruffles his hair. 

' Be good for grandma." 

He makes it to the door when Anne yells. 

" They are over at 'The Bishopsgate' the pub near the swimming center. Do you know where that is? "

" No, but I got google maps I'm sure I will be fine. Thanks, Anne. It was a pleasure seeing you again."

**********

For such a small town and a small pub it certainly isn't very quiet. There's soft music playing, it sounds a little classical but he couldn't be sure. People are talking over people making it difficult to hear. There's a burst of laughter behind him making him turn around. He spots Niall leaving the bar, juggling two pints in his hands as he zig zags further towards the back of the room. 

He follows. 

Meanwhile, Harry is onto his third pint and is becoming very chatty. Niall has grilled him about Louis for the last thirty minutes. Harry had explained his and Louis's newfound 
' comfortable' visits. He also told Niall to stop smiling like an idiot when Harry after his second beer, had let slip that he had already fallen for the lad. 

Niall is wiping his mouth from the beer froth when he lays eyes on Louis. Funny enough, Harry has his back to him and Louis raises his finger to his mouth to hush him but Niall thinks this is too good an opportunity to waste. Harry had earlier let spill that he wanted to let Louis know how he felt but was too frightened to. Scared of rejection, scared of getting hurt again. If Harry wasn't going to get things moving along then Niall would be the one to make sure of it. 

" So Harry tell me. You can't deny Louis is not cute right?" 

Louis freezes and with holds a laugh behind Harry's back. Louis has never been so grateful that it's so much quieter back here that he can actually hear. Niall is loving it. Louis' heart is near death as it awaits Harry's answer. 

" Cute!?! " Harry questions sarcastically and Louis deflates a little while Niall frowns and thinks ' shit' maybe this wasn't such a good idea. 

" Are you fucking blind Niall? Cute. ...please... The man is beautifully gorgeous, a present day Greek fucking God of sexiness. Have you seen that arse, Niall? ....Cute he says...... " Harry shakes his head as Louis stands still pressing his lips to hold himself together. 

Niall's jaw is hurting from smiling. For Niall, seeing and hearing Harry this way has been a long time coming. He knows Harry is going to be pissed at him after this but all this..... This is just too much fun. 

" You really like him huh?"

Niall looks to Louis who is shaking his head ' no' trying to make Niall stop. Louis finds himself biting his nail, now eager for Harry's reaction.

" It's hard not to. What's not to love? He is funny, adorable, sweet, and kind and he is good with Lachlan you know. Fuck Niall, you know me man more than anyone. I never fall this hard so fast. So tell me why Ni, why would I marry this man in a heartbeat if I could? " Harry rushes out. 

Niall feels like shit the moment he hears how sincere Harry is speaking from his heart. His voice is shaky and lowered as he admits to his friend how he really feels. Niall realizes he has fucked up and shouldn't have done this. Harry leans forward placing his hands on his face as he rests his elbows on the table. Niall doesn't know how to end this.

Louis hasn't moved, standing still completely stunned at Harry's confession.

Niall has had more to drink than Harry and his mind and mouth are not in agreement. 

" I mean, it would be funny if he was standing right behind you, hey" Niall fake smiles as he shrugs his shoulder trying to lighten the situation. 

Harry actually laughs at that. 

" No, It wouldn't be funny. At least that's something I don't have to worry about. There's no doubt Louis is probably spread out on the lounge, his hands half covered by his oversized sweater wearing those ridiculously tight sweatpants that shape his arse perfectly, looking all like the cute kitten he is, all while watching something like 'Antique roadshow' " he laughs out.

Niall can't contain it any longer and laughs hysterically as Louis nods his head in agreement at the scene harry had just envisioned, especially because yes it would be an accurate interpretation.

" Plus Niall, I don't even know if he likes me the way I like him." 

" He does" 

Louis didn't mean for the words to escape his mouth. He thought he had said it internally and now he is searching around for the closest cliff to jump off because he is fucking panicking.

Harry turns around so fast he almost falls off his seat. 

" LOU?!? 
Oh fucking God, no. Please tell me this isn't happening." He covers his mouth with his hand, his face red now, tomato red. "How... Fuck...How long have you been standing there?" 

Louis looks to Niall for a little guidance as to whether he should admit the truth or not but Niall is no help as he just raises the beer to him with a smile before he chugs it all down. 

" Ummm. Long enough" he smiles sympathetically." 

Harry's mouth drops open as he looks to Niall who is rising to his feet.

" Well, my work here is done for the night. Have a great evening lads."

Niall walks around the table and pats Louis' back as he continues on over to Harry to whom he wraps into a hug whispering into his ear. 

" Put those condoms to use and be safe Harold." Niall remarks, the joke from earlier finally being put to use. 

Harry blushes instantaneously. 

" You are dead to me Horan. Dead to me." Harry smiles as Niall plants a kiss to his temple. 

" You love me. See you Saturday" he yells, as he takes off into the crowd.

Louis takes the opportunity to sit down directly next to Harry. There's a silence and it's almost comical. They briefly stare at each other, the pair clearly both shy and embarrassed. 

" So..." Louis starts. 

" A God of sexiness hey" Louis remarks smugly nudging Harry's arm with his elbow. 

Harry buries his face into his hands and laughs. 

" No stop. It's embarrassing enough. Fucking hell."

Harry changes the subject and explains to Louis that all the boys had invited themselves over for a BBQ lunch on Saturday. They talk about absolutely everything and anything and even though they both feel comfortable and relaxed now, there's no denying the sexual tension between them has shifted. The flirting has increased, the constant touching each other at every possible moment has increased, the smiles, the laughter....the need. 

Louis has sipped on water all night still not feeling confident to drink around Harry in case he makes a mistake. He has noticed that Niall had never left the pub. He had simply given them space and joined another group of people who he wasn't familiar with. 

Harry looks at his watch and sees it's 9 pm. 

" It's getting late, must get home and relieve mum from watching my little munchkin, to whom I'm sure has convinced her to stay up by now " Harry laughs. 

He stands patting his pockets making sure he has everything. 

" You ready to go?" Harry asks and Louis freezes. 

" Oh um. I was going to stay here a bit longer if you don't mind. " Louis says timidly praying to God he isn't offending him somehow. 

" Yeah yeah, of course, ahh, yeah it was wrong of me to assume you were coming with me, I..... Yeah ok, ah see you tomorrow then." 

Harry is bright red and Louis can not help what he is about to do. It's his turn to make a move this time, and so he does. While standing face to face Louis lifts his hand shifting it to rest on Harry's hip. He feels Harry tense at the sudden contact but relaxes when he watches the way Harry bites his lip in anticipation. He tugs Harry closer and Harry is shaking from head to toe because was Louis going to kiss him? With adrenaline pumping through him, Harry is having trouble standing with the jelly legs he has suddenly been hit with. 

Yes. Yes, Louis WAS going to kiss him, that was the plan, until he felt eyes burning in on him and they weren't those of Harry's.

With their faces too close, Louis grabs Harry's hand into his own and gently caresses his knuckles using his thumb.

He leans forward as Harry feels a delicate kiss to his cheek.

" Tomorrow"

" Tomorrow" Harry copies back. 

And with that, Harry exits the pub. 

When Louis approaches the bar he is hit with a strong scent of alcohol and cigarette smoke. He positions himself on the stool next to Niall who has become aware of his presence. 

" Well, that was intense." Niall smirks not giving any fucks that he has just confessed to watching the whole scene unfold. 

" You made me too nervous. Now I need a drink." 

He allows himself just one, or maybe even two depending on how quickly his nerves settle. He feels safe and comfortable around Niall with a beer, especially since the 
' Temptation' had now left.

Niall who normally flaunts a smile 24/7 looks to Louis as he places down his pint. Louis knows it's coming. He has been waiting for it. 

" You are a nice guy Louis, we all think you are great, especially our Harold. I don't know how you feel about him but let me just say this. Harry is precious to us ok. He is loyal, loving, kind and the best parent you could ask for. He has been through some tough shit in the past and it's taken him a long time to open up to the prospect of loving someone again." 

The air has almost spontaneously thickened as Louis gulps. He has never seen the serious side of Niall before but he is glad that Harry has someone who clearly cares for him looking out for him.

" He is my best mate. I just want to see him happy you know? and well, we haven't seen a lot of that ... Until you came along. I guess, if the possibility is there and you do decide to take the next step just, I dunno. I know I'm rambling and all "

Louis laughs at that. 

" Look, take walks on the beach, dance in the rain, kiss in the kitchen, do all that soppy stuff, hell you can even fight about who forgot to buy the milk but please and I beg of you Louis, just....... Don't hurt him."

' Don't hurt him' 

The words echoing continuously.
Unaware to anyone else, Louis right now has got a decision to make. A REAL stick to it decision. 

Can he really be with Harry? 

Can he truly make a future and settle down into family life with his biological son and adoptee papa? 

Falling in love won't be an issue at all but the cloud of guilt hovering over his head might be. 

If he chooses Harry, does he confess, in turn risking the chance of losing him and Lachlan? Or can life simply go on and no one ever needs to know the truth? Can he live forever with the lies and deceit? 

He blinks rapidly, his heart making the final decision. 

" Heard loud and clear. Soppy stuff only, got it. " Louis smiles and Niall nods. 

" He is lucky to have you Niall and I kinda think you are a nice guy too."

The seriousness disappears instantly and the two drinks turned into six but Louis held his composure and handled it all well. He blames Niall anyway. 

Louis now has a better understanding of why everybody loves Niall. 

**********

Laying in the uncomfortable queen-sized bed, Louis finds his tipsy brain is already wanting to venture over to Harry's even if it meant trying to walk there. He fought it back over and over until he eventually fell asleep not budging until his phone vibrates the following day. 

From Harry :
" Breakfast at the cafe?"

Of course, Louis replies with a " Meet you there". The drive over makes Louis wonder how it is that Harry has time for breakfast. He had assumed he would have been at work by now considering it was 8.30 am. 

Although the line is long outside AGAIN he gets to skip it in search of finding their seat. Even through the heavy influx of people, it's not hard to spot Harry. When he gets closer he sees Lachlan also, who is not in kindergarten. 

" Morning," 

Lachlan claps his hands. 

" Yay!! Now you are here I can eat. " 

Harry laughs. 

" He is hanging out for a ham and cheese toastie. Are you hungry? Coffee? "

When they completed their order Harry explains how it's come that they are both home. Turns out Lachys kindy was closed today due to half the staff being sick with the flu. Harry had to take the day off and he didn't seem happy about it. Apparently, he had an important meeting today and is fuming he couldn't make it into the office. 

" You know, I'm more than happy to watch this little lad today if you need to go to work. I really don't mind, besides, it's not like I have anything else to do. "

Lachy's eyes light up and Harry looks relieved. 

" Oh my God, would you please. I'm sure I won't be too long a few hours or so. You really are an angel in disguise."

Harry looks at Lachlan and speaks firmly. 

" You make sure you listen and behave today, I mean it. There is to be no convincing Louis of sweets or treats or anything. Do you understand me? " 

" Yes papa" 

***************

The first two hours, Louis was fulfilled with nothing but joy. It's the first opportunity he has had to spend proper time alone with his son and it's been nothing but pure bliss.

Drawings were made, lego was built, hide and seek took up some time but the favourite of them all has been kicking the ball like always.

" I missed again. This is NOT FAIR" Lachlan shouts and Louis is taken aback by his sudden change of behaviour.

" Let's not try to get too worked up buddy, with lots of practice you will go" 

" I have been practicing all the time and I'm never going to be good like you, NEVER. " he says crossing his arms across his chest. His face saddens and with a cheeky grin, he tries his best. 

" You know what would make me happy Louis? A big bowl of ice cream that's what." 

Louis laughs. 

" Nice try. You heard papa earlier he said no treats. He doesn't want you ruining your appetite before dinner tonight, he is making your favourite, tuna bake, and roasted vegetables." 

And then it starts. 

Lachlan cries and not just a soft sobbing of any sort, he full on breaks down.

He sinks down onto the grass stomping his feet into the lawn his fists punching into the ground. Louis tries everything to calm him down but nothing works. He finally manages to sit him upright but he still cries and when Lachlan starts rubbing away at his eyes, he realised the young boy is extremely tired. 

He uses all sorts of ideas on convincing him to come inside for a nap but he won't move from the grass. With his knees to his chest, he just continues to cry. 

It's now, as he stands there watching him that Louis realizes he has just witnessed Lachlan's first temper tantrum. With no idea on what else to do, he has no other option but to call Harry, which makes him feel totally stupid.

" Hi, Lou. Is everything ok?" 

" Um. We have a small problem but don't freak out." 

Louis goes on to explain the whole drama as Harry listens on. Lachlan is still sobbing when Harry finally tells Louis what to do. Unfortunately for Louis, he had no idea that calling Harry about this was going to affect him in more ways than one. 

" You have done the right thing. Stop apologizing. He gets like this sometimes when he is overwhelmed and worn out and I'm guessing knowing you two, you have both been on the go since I left, right?" 

" Oh yeah, I guess we have. It's all my fault, I'm so bad at this Harry, sorry. " 

"It's no-ones fault, Lou, kids do this sometimes it's perfectly normal. Look keep me on the phone and I will talk you through it. I bet he is sitting down." 

" Sure is. What do I do?" 

"Sit down beside him. Now once you have done that. Rub his back gently say three times." 

" Done. Now what? He is still crying. " 

" Ok. Pick up one of his hands it doesn't matter which one and don't worry you won't scare him or anything he is used to me doing this." 

" Done." 

" Now, the last thing to do might sound a little odd but bare with me. Link your pinky finger with his and he will stop." 

It doesn't make sense to Louis at first. It takes him a few minutes to comprehend it all. 

" Pinky...? " 
Louis confirms as he connects their fingers making Lachlan stop immediately. He turns into Louis's side wrapping his arms around him and embracing him into a very tight grip. 

" Yeah, like I said. It's odd but it works. It's the only thing that's ever been able to settle him down. It's been like that since the day I brought him home as a baby." 

Louis freezes because fuck he feels like he wants to vomit.

" He will probably get up now and walk away to be on his own for awhile while he calms down and-" 

" Actually he is cuddling me, really tightly actually, and hasn't moved." 

" He what?" 

" He is cuddling me" Louis repeats.

" Yeah, no I heard, I'm just surprised that's all. That's just different." 

Louis reassures Harry that Lachy is fine and manages to hang up. 

Louis looks down at Lachlan who has fallen fast asleep pressed to his side. He lifts him up and carefully places him inside on the lounge placing a blanket over him not wanting to carry him upstairs.

He moves fast to the bathroom where he closes the door and slides to the floor. 

There's no scientific or physical way Lachlan could have ever remembered their pinky hold in the delivery room but somehow it gave Louis a little bit of hope that maybe in some weird unexplainable way that maybe he had remembered their connection. It may have been wishful thinking on his behalf but it tore Louis to pieces. 

He doesn't know how long he sat there crying. Minutes? An hour maybe. He hears the front door close followed by Harry's voice. 

" Lou?" 

He quickly stands, wiping his face, and collectively pulls himself together. 

When he lays eyes on Harry, who looks tired and worn out but excited to be home, he decides he needs to leave. Just for a bit to recuperate. 

" Hey. Glad you are home. I really have to go H, Lachlan is asleep on the lounge. I will text you later." 

And bam just like that, Louis was gone and Harry was left standing there confused about what the fuck had just happened.

*********** 

To effectively communicate in life we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive things. Harry hasn't stopped thinking about Louis's quick departure. Lachlan has been awake for the last hour and is happily playing on his iPad. Harry uses the free time to ring Niall for advice. 

" Yes, he literally rushed out the door soon as I arrived home. I don't get it Ni. Did I do something wrong? Maybe Lachlan freaked him out too much. Entering into a relationship with someone who has a kid already, isn't everyone's cup of tea." 

" Harry, Louis loves Lachlan everyone can see that." 

" Well maybe seeing his tantrum today has scared him away. He probably realized he is taking on not only a new relationship but having to accept a child who isn't his into his life, is probably too much for him. This is what I was worried about. See, this is why I avoided dating, Niall." 

Niall spent the next 20 minutes convincing Harry to call Lou and talk about it. It takes a lot of persuading but it eventually works. 

He isn't surprised when Louis doesn't answer his call. He sends a text message instead. 

To Louis: 
" Are we ok? I'm sorry if I took too long at work. I know Lachlan was a bit much today. I'm guessing dinner isn't on anymore. I'm sorry Lou I really am. " 

Harry feels terrible. The miscommunication is to blame but it's not like Louis can be truly honest, can he? 

Harry starts prepping for dinner and by 7 pm when Louis still hadn't shown up or replied back, he serves dinner. 

*********** 

Louis had left his phone in the car while he strolled around Holmes chapel. He admired the scenery and walked the parks, he even found himself in the local museum. Anything to help clear his mind.

When he gets back to the hotel he showers to freshen up only then deciding to check his phone. He knows he shouldn't have left especially the way he had. Reading Harry's text makes him realize he stuffed up. He gets straight into the car and goes.

**********
The doorbell interrupts Lachlan's turn as he rolls the dice.

" Yay Louis is back."

" Darling it could be anyone. Let's not get our hopes up ok. Let's have a look shall we?"

When Louis appears from behind the door, Lachlan hugs his leg like his life depended on it.

" We playing snakes and ladders, you wanna play, you can help me because even though papa says he doesn't, he cheats all the time Louis. All the time." 

Louis chuckles as Harry steps aside to let him in. 

" You missed dinner. It got late and Lachlan was hungry, I saved you a plate." 

" Thanks." 

Lachlan has run back off into the family room and Harry turns to lead Louis to the kitchen but is stopped when Louis grabs his hand. The moment he turns around Louis presses his lips to Harry's and he almost explodes from the sensual impact.

Harry's lips are soft and plush and Louis has never tasted anything so sweet before. He pulls back just as he felt Harry take control eager to deepen the contact. 

" Wow, I properly ruined our first kiss, didn't I? Instead of it being all romantic it was used as an apology. Shit, I'm so sorry." 

Harry doesn't care about why the kiss happened, he is just excited for the first kiss and he can't stop smiling but Louis still feels the need to apologize. 

" I'm sorry about earlier. Please don't think you guys did anything wrong. I just needed a moment. I got a little overwhelmed but not from you too. Just me, caught up in my own thoughts."

Harry tells him not to worry about it and that it was fine. Lachlan demands they finish the game to which they do, Harry wins of course and Louis now guesses that Lachlan was right indeed. Harry is a serial cheater. 

They play a game of hungry hippos before Louis eventually gets around to eating his meal that Harry had placed wrapped in the fridge.

As time passes by, a little yawn is heard from across the room and Harry knows it's definitely bed time for someone. Taking him upstairs by his hand he bathes him quickly and gets him into his PJs before watching him closely to make sure he correctly brushes his teeth.

Louis hears Lachlan scream out his name to ' come here' and is fast to race up the stairs. He hasn't felt this close to Lachlan. It all feels too good to be true. He looks so cute and clean when he shows off his pearly whites and holds his arms out for a hug. 

" Good night Louis" 

" Good night darling" 

Louis bends down to kiss his forehead and if only Louis could somehow screenshot this moment. He thinks back to the time he first saw this room, the very same day he panicked and ran. He never in this lifetime thought he would be here, sitting on his son's bed kissing him good night. 

" Papa the poem the poem" 

Harry looks at Louis and smiles gently. He hasn't talked to Louis about how Lachlan entered his world and saved him but he would really like to. Louis shuffles over as Harry sits beside him. Louis was expecting a book of some sort but it's just Harry reciting a passage of a poem by memory. 

A passage that Louis shouldn't know but does. 

✨

Among the stars, a night so clear. 

If I had seen your face, I'd have shed a tear.

I heard you scream while we were 

torn

apart
, 
baby boy you stole my heart.

I love you to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond. 

Without you here to give me life,

My heart does not go on. 

No matter where you are my child, just know you'll always be, 

as close as my next heartbeat, 

as your heart resides in me.

I picture you inside my mind as I begin and end each day,

I will always love you my little one,

In each and every way.

Wherever life may take you,

Know this to be true.

You will never travel alone my love, 

As my prayers & thoughts are always right there with you.

✨ 

Pain. 
A distressing feeling often caused by the on-set of intense and damaging stimuli. 

Louis is shattered. 

Broken hearted people are always stronger because they already know how to deal with the pain. Louis can not fall apart right now. Not here. Not in front of Harry and most definitely not in front of Lachlan. He can feel the tears pooling in his eyes already as he takes it all in with what's happening. 

" Say good night." Harry smiles warmly.

Lachlan looks to the bedside table and reaches over to collect a small bear. The very same small bear Louis had asked Mel to give to his son's new parents, Harry.

![](https://img.wattpad.com/be23f9427f6fbd4af7f6986b8df3e2314087716b/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f5f5a4f5a727749353050654a55773d3d2d313238343337333939372e313732366339643430303631656638383833323932343230333135382e6a7067)

Lachlan kisses the bear. 

" Good night daddy" 

He places the bear down and smiles back at Harry. 
"Good night papa, I love you." 

Louis excuses himself and leaves the room. He uses the very short time he has alone before Harry comes back down, to wipe his eyes because it all makes sense now. Of course, Harry would tell Lachlan about being adopted and his biological parent because that's who Harry is. He is loving and sweet and all the good shit. It hits Louis all at once. How long has Lachlan known about being adopted? How long has he said good night to him every night? Was it even himself Lachlan was calling daddy? What if he was meaning Harry's ex? Surely not, the teddy was the one he gave him. 

There are so many questions floating around his brain. He hears Harry's footsteps, so he quickly opens his phone pretending to scroll. 

Harry looks nervous and Louis isn't sure why. 

" I guess I should explain what that was all about hey. "

How the hell was he going to sit through this? 

With extreme difficulty that's what. 

Harry lets out a sigh as he leans back into the lounge.

" So, it all started with a man named Ben Winston."

Harry, as much as opening up scared him, had found the courage to do so. Once he started, it all just seemed to flow out. It actually felt good to tell Louis, someone other than his small circle of friends. Louis sat quietly the entire time as Harry explained the way his ex had treated him while they awaited baby Lachlan. He went into detail about how Lachlan saved his life and gave him a fresh start to be the doting parent he always wanted to be, even being as young as he was. 

Then it came time. 
To hear how Harry really felt about Lachlan's real father. He held his breath as Harry started to tell the story about the day he first met with Mel. 

" When Mel told me the father was young and in a difficult position I felt for him too you know. It couldn't have been an easy thing to just pop out a baby and hand it over to strangers being that young." 

Louis stills as he replays that day, the powerful visions and memories that are still so very vivid in his mind.

" I don't blame him you know. I couldn't possibly blame anyone. We don't know or understand anyone's circumstances until we are in those same shoes. The boy made the right decision Lou, and if I could ever thank him I would. Without him, I wouldn't have Lachlan. Without Lachlan, I'm not sure if id still be here today."

And shit. 

Louis is struggling. 

It's hard to think about, that both Harry and Louis relied on this beautiful small boy in order to survive. In some respect, Louis had saved Harry and Harry had saved Louis. 
Louis had provided the space that longed to be filled in Harry's heart, while Harry provided the love of his life with a secure and loving home, Something he at the time couldn't provide.

He tells Louis about the bear, poem, and letters that the biological father had given him and how it initially broke his heart. It was the letter to himself that had been the deciding factor for Harry to be upfront with Lachlan from the very beginning about his real daddy. He doesn't say much about that one but of course, Louis already knows what it says. 

Louis takes a deep breath. 
This could be it. 
The perfect moment to be brave. 

Now would be the time to turn to Harry and confess the truth. After hearing Harry express his thoughts and feelings about the adoption, surely Harry would understand why he did what he did right? If he just told him then everything could move forward. No more lies.

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out.

Harry stands and stretches and fuck where did the time go?

" I'm spent I really need some sleep." 

It's just gone past 11.20 pm and Louis also just wants to close his eyes and Harry notices it. 

" Lou, please" 

He walks over extending his hand out to pull him up. The two sets of pupils absorb into each other and Louis already understands what he is asking. After the busy morning with Lachlan, his walk around town, all his crying, and the exhausting talk with Harry just now, he had no energy to fight. 

" Ok." 

Harry smiles and leads him to the guest bedroom. He flicks on the light and shows him the ensuite. 

" I'm just down the hall if you need anything. " 

He smiles and turns when Louis calls him back. 

" Hey, Harry." 

" Hmm"

Louis walks up close, chest now against chest. He reaches up to meet Harry's mouth, only a small gap separating them.

" I'm pretty sure a certain wise boy once said, 
in this house, we kiss each other good night ' 

Harry doesn't waste time. He isn't shy about it either having wanted to feel those thin delicate lips once again. It heats pretty quickly and before long Harry turns Louis around and pins him up against the wall as the desperation for each other takes over. With Louis now facing the wall, Harry starts biting little lines along his shoulder. Louis is getting turned on too quickly, his head already feeling like his floating on the clouds. 

But then........

"Ouch Jesus fucking christ Harry, what did you do that for?" 
Louis hisses a little too loud while Harry smirks. 

" Yep, definitely a pleasure not a punishment." 

Louis's arse is on fire as the sting from Harry's hand throbs. 

" What? I have the memory of an elephant Lou, did you really think I would forget about the skittles?"

Louis bursts out laughing, and that my friends, is how the mood is killed. 

*************

Liam and Zayn had progressed in their relationship and Louis is going to barf if he has to watch them bopping each other's noses any longer. It's cute but sickening how in love they look at the same time. 

Niall had arrived first and offered to grill but the moment Harry cracked him a beer, all motivation for cooking the meat was soon forgotten. The last hour has been great. Louis adores everyone all ready and he hopes to think that they all like him as well. 

Liam and Louis tell some stories from their childhood together and soon enough Niall's laughter engulfs the entire backyard. 

Lachlan is having a blast skipping about the yard enjoying the attention from not one but five of his favourite people in the entire world. He moves around freely and happily. With his papa cooking the food and Louis engaging with Liam, Lachlan proceeds over to the other two lads where he plays quietly and unnoticed on the grass with his toy cars for a while. 

Today was successful and thankfully un-eventful. The sun had been glorious, Lachlan had been on his best behaviour and there were laughs all around. Louis did find it endearing that Liam and Zayn both took the time to give him separate 'Don't hurt Harry' speeches. The love they show for Harry is amazing and in the back of his mind, he wishes he too could have friends like that who would look out for him.

************ 

Settling Lachlan down that night is proving to be more of a struggle. He seems to be a little hyperactive and Harry seems to think Zayn is to blame somehow as he keeps yelling ' Zaynie Zaynie' as he runs around the kitchen.

It takes a solid 2. 5 hours from Pjs time to actually getting him under the bed covers. 

Lachlan asks Louis to read him a story from his bookshelf, to which Louis obliged. 

Harry comes in from tidying up the rubbish from out back just as Louis finishes up. Like last night, Harry recites the poem. 

After the good night kisses have been done, Harry and Louis begin to leave the room but both stop dead in their tracks with Louis almost conducting a heart attack when the unexpected words come from Lachy.

" Louis, are you my daddy?" 

Harry nearly chokes to death on his own saliva.

He gives a shocked look to Louis and rushes back to Lachlan's side. 

" No darling, Louis is not your daddy, what in gods name made you think that? What gave you that idea sweetheart?" 

Lachlan scrunches his nose as he thinks and it's the first time Louis has ever seen a hint of Marcus in him. He wants to go and comfort him like Harry but he can't move. He is trying to tell his legs to walk but they are not co-operating. There's a small part of him also not wanting to move, not wanting to engage in this conversation because lying to Harry is one thing but lying to his son's face might not be as easy. 

" Lachlan talk to me baby" Harry asks. 

" Uncle Niall and Zaynie said that I look just like Louis. Zaynie said we both have the same blue eyes and that we both are cheeky and similar and uncle Niall said ' yeah wouldn't it be funny if Louis was Lachlan's dad'" 

Harry exhales and reaches down for a hug. 

" They were only mucking around baby." 

Lachlan pouts and Harry isn't sure of the reasoning behind it. So he tries to help him understand a little better. 

" Lachy, you know papa has already explained to you about your other daddy. Remember, the poem and the bear. " 

Lachlan stares down at the blanket in front of him. 

" Yeah I know papa, I just thought" 

He lifts his head giving Louis a quick glance. 

" I just thought... Never mind. I'm tired now papa" 

Harry tucks Lachlan back in when he notices Louis has already left the room. There's a familiar bundle of nerves tightening in his stomach as he prays to God this hasn't scared Louis away any further. 

He turns on Lachlan's night lamp and is relieved to hear him snore before he even exits the room. 

**********

He finds Louis in the kitchen, the kettle boiling as he prepares two cups of Yorkshire tea. 

Louis can sense Harry approaching up behind him. He takes a deep breath and smiles before turning around. 

" Cuppa? You look tired, should I go? " he rushes out. 

" Lou, please" 

It's becoming a common phrase. When Harry says that, almost every time it's like their eyes talk without a single word being spoken, and yet they both seem to understand the conversation in its entirety.

Harry steps closer grabbing his jumper and pulling him into a tight hug and that's exactly what he needed. They both needed. 

The musky smell of Harry's cologne does the trick of calming him down. 

" Lou, listen. Kids talk about random stuff all the time. Hey, look at me." 

He lifts Louis's head but Louis doesn't look too well. 

Louis becomes dizzy. 
What the fuck has this weekend been? 
He and Harry kissed for the first time.
Lachlan's pinky hold.
Louis' poem to Lachlan.
Zayn and Niall's conversation.
Lachlan asking if he was his dad. 
It's all too much for him, all at once. 

He can feel the thudding of his chest, his heart beating a million miles an hour. He nervously starts chewing the inside of his bottom lip. 

There was no plan too, it came out fast and terribly shaky.

"Harry.......
I need to tell you something."

*************

A/ N 

Hope you enjoyed it. 

Next chapter I will need to speed things up with larry for the story to work for what I have planned. So there might be a small time jump.

Please remember to like/ share and comment, it keeps me motivated to continue. 

💙💚

**********

# Chapter 10- Promise Me !! 

A/N 

Hi everyone! 

Just letting you 

know

I have mapped out how I want this story to go. 

I'm

aiming for 

about

20-25 chapters give or take. 

There's

still a big roller coaster of events and emotions to come, so I hope you all stick it all out until the end. Thank you so much for all your 

support

. Please remember to always vote and leave comments. ♡♡♡

************* 

"The truth doesn't cost anything, but a lie, could cost you everything." 

This week, unlike previous times, has gone remarkably fast. Somehow Friday rolls around but this time, it doesn't quite feel the same. 

" Hey, you are going to be late if you don't get moving it's just gone past 2 pm" 

Louis knows this already, he hasn't been able to take his eyes off the clock all day long. He sighs, as he reaches over to open up another box, his back still turned to Kevin, who he had forgotten to inform of his change of plans. 

" Yeah, erm, I don't need to leave early today, I can stay until 5 pm." 

Kevin doesn't answer immediately making Louis tilt his head around. Kevin who looks rather curious raises his eyebrows in suspicion waiting for Louis to elaborate, to which nothing comes because Louis shakes his head 'no' with a silent beg. 

Kevin lifted his palms and surrenders letting it go not wanting to force it out of him and watches on for the rest of the shift as Louis mopes around quietly. Kevin understands that Louis will talk if and when he is ready. There couldn't be anything else left to tidy in the shop because Louis has already cleaned everything. Kevin knows Louis is distracting himself and with that, he knows something is definitely up, something has changed.

When 5 pm strikes, Louis makes a beeline for the door. He flashes a weak and very unconvincing smile towards Kevin as he rushes down the sidewalk in a hurry to get home but not before making a stop at the shop first. 

The first thing he does when he enters his front door is kick off his vans. He hates wearing shoes, and really really despises footwear. If he could have it his way he would be barefoot 24/7. He places the brown paper bag down on the table and stares at it, wondering how it is he has found himself back in this position. Venturing off into his room, he showers quickly and changes into more loose-fitting clothing, once again returning to the kitchen where he searches the cupboard for a glass. 

It can not have been more than 40 minutes that had passed when Louis's front door bell rings. He decides to ignore it at first, the last thing he possibly needs right now is company when he feels like shit. By the time they ring again, he stands and staggers slightly as he makes his way over, the 5 full glasses of Vodka already making him tipsy.

He should of known Kevin would check up on him. Their friendship has grown immensely over the months and truth be told, Louis has thoroughly enjoyed having someone to call a ' friend' again....well in London at least. Kevin is worried about him, Louis can already tell, it's written all over his face. 

" I kinda got the impression you might have needed some company tonight lad" Kevin remarks as Louis smiles while gesturing for him to come in. 

Louis notices the bottle of scotch in Kevin's hand as they both move back towards the kitchen. Kevin eyes the Vodka as he places himself down at the table. He takes a deep breath. 

" Alright lad, out with it, what happened? Are you ok? You haven't been yourself all week."

Louis shakes his head 'no'.

" Where the fuck do I begin" Louis's voice trembles. 

" So, I might as well start from when I almost told Harry". 

*************
~~~Flashback ~~~

~~~Last Saturday Night~~~

" Harry, I need to tell you something."

Confused, scared, nervous, anxious, and petrified. All of the above contribute to the way Louis's emotions are in high overdrive. If Louis picks at his fingernails much more, he surely won't have any left at all. He walks away from Harry, unable to make eye contact with him. 

Harry doesn't like this at all. Witnessing the way Louis has started to shake a little he can't help but genuinely look concerned as he sits down. It must be the way Louis's voice has changed, it's weak and crackly as nerves take over. He can't help but notice the way his lips quiver as he tries to get the words out. 

" Please don't be mad... I... You see, I didn't mean for this to all happen and ........" 

Harry stands up, he feels the need to hug Louis, who looks as though he is going to cry. Harry has no clue where this has all come from and when Louis turns away at the open embrace, Harry feels the burn in his chest. Louis is leaving him, he can feel it. To Harry, the only reasoning he can collect from all this is that he and Lachlan have come on too strong. Maybe Lou didn't want the burden of a family. To be fair, they hadn't talked about it, not once. 

He can feel Louis slipping away and Harry suddenly feels that same heartache that he felt years ago when Ben left, but this time it's way worse because Louis, Louis has left footprints in his life and he can't possibly imagine being away from him. There's a stronger pull towards Lou that he hasn't ever felt before and there was nothing in this lifetime that would allow Harry to let it go just yet. 

It's quiet as both men try and collect the right words they want to say. Harry timidly speaks first.

" Lou, whatever it is, you can talk to me. Just relax babe, what's gotten you so worked up?" 

Harry doesn't know why he asked because truth be told, he is terrified of whatever response he may receive. 

" I don't know how to tell you this, and I'm so scared you will hate me and- " 

" I would never -" 

" Please H, Let me finish before I chicken out." Louis takes a deep breath. " I am Lac-"

" Papa?" 

Amidst all the chaos of their serious talk, the pair hadn't noticed the pitter-patter of tiny feet entering the room. Rubbing his eyes, still half asleep, Harry is surprised to see him awake. 

" Hey, buddy, What you doing awake huh? Come here and I will take you back to bed. " 

Harry stretches his arms out wide as Lachlan starts to approach, but no one is more surprised than Louis when Lachlan who still hasn't said anything brushes past his papa, instead opting to cuddle into Louis's leg. 

Looking down, Louis smiles as Lachlan makes grabby hands hinting he wants to be lifted. 

" I've got it. I will take him back." 

Harry nods as he watches Lachlan bury his head into Louis's shoulder as he gets comfortable being carried upstairs. The sight would normally make Harry's heart expand but tonight, with the thought of Louis leaving them, all he can foresee is his son's agony if Louis does in fact decide that this isn't what he wants. 

He starts to pace up and down the kitchen nibbling at his bottom lip trying to decide how to play this all out. What to say, what to do. It's hard to think, when the only person you have felt connected to in such a long time, might not be willing to stick around for the 'forever' you had hoped for. 

Louis lowered Lachlan into bed and covered him with the blanket. He has watched Harry do this many times before but tonight it's all on him. His confident he has covered everything from offering a drink, to ' Do you need the toilet' but with Lachlan half asleep already he wasn't expecting what came next. 

" Goodnight Loulou, I love you" 

It was like time stood still. Louis could no longer hear the clock that was ticking nearby, the gusty wind blowing outside had vanished. Everything had just stopped. Lachlan was already back asleep but Louis leaned forward anyway, kissing his forehead.

" I love you more, my beautiful boy."

He carefully strokes Lachy's hair.

There are 99 reasons why Louis needs to go downstairs and continue to confess the truth .....the lies. 

But there's only 1 reason needed that could be strong enough to sway his mind and continue to keep quiet. 

That reason, is currently sleeping peacefully in front of him.

When Louis returns downstairs, two hot cuppas are waiting on the table but Harry is staring off into space and Louis has no idea what to say now, having changed his mind.

He makes his presence known by clearing his throat, Harry lifting his head to meet Louis's gaze as he sits down into the chair. 

" How did it go, Did he settle back down ok?" 

Louis gently smiles. 

" Yeah I think I did alright, he um...he called me Loulou finally, but he was half asleep and probably doesn't realize it but I will take it as a win anyway." He smiles sincerely, deliberately leaving out the extra part not knowing how Harry would react to that. 

" That's good, that's good. I um made you a tea it's fresh and hot" 

" Thanks" 

There's no denying the pair are avoiding the elephant in the room. Louis brings the cup to his mouth blowing carefully trying to cool it off. With the number of times these two have encountered awkward moments together, never have they ever felt so un-sure, so out of place, and uncomfortable. The ground has immediately become interesting, as both sets of eyes skim the floor, not daring to move or speak. 

Soul mates can often have conversations with words that sometimes can not be explained. People who are destined to be together often mirror each other and develop intense longing and desire in a short amount of time. 

As if on cue, both Harry and Louis try to speak at the exact same time, having had enough of the awkwardness. 

" I'm sorry"
" Don't leave us" 

Standing up Harry opens his arms as Louis wastes no time willingly clinging to Harry's torso. Harry grips him tight not knowing if he will ever get this again and Louis senses it and pulls back. 

" Harry I couldn't leave you if I tried, or Lachlan for that matter. I know I haven't said it in many words as such but I really really enjoy your company and you guys already mean so much to me and - " 

Harry shuts him up by slamming his lips to his. With Louis's words confirming how he really feels, it relaxes his worries immediately and all Harry wants is to feel his skin, his thin delicate lips, to which he does. He presses, licks, nibbles, you name it,  every inch of his mouth before finally gaining entrance. Harry wants it all, all too quickly as he sucks Louis's tongue, the taste suffocating Harry into an orbit of euphoria. 

Louis pulls back for air, his lips already feeling swollen. Harry is trying to read Louis's face, searching for any sort of evidence that Louis was ok and fine with what he had just done, and when Louis pulls him back closer re joining their lips eager for more, Harry discreetly sighs with relief. 

With tongues and hands exploring each other, scared like they thought it would be their one and only time together, Harry gains the strength to refrain himself.

" It's getting late, we should...get some sleep yeah?" 

Harry extends his hand out, Louis gracefully entwining their fingers as Harry leads him upstairs. Louis who is following behind cannot see Harry's face, just as Harry can not see Louis's but funny enough, they both know each other is smiling ridiculously. 

When Harry stops in the hallway just outside his bedroom door, he turns around slowly, his thumb caressing Louis's fingers.   

Harry hasn't forgotten that Louis wanted to tell him something earlier and right now as he wanted to invite Louis into his room he knew it was dumb to bring it up again but he stupidly does. 

" What was it you wanted to tell me earlier?" 

And fuck, Louis thought he had dodged a bullet but clearly not.

Harry can tell whatever it is, it's still bothering him because he looks as though he is exerting himself trying to produce any sort of words. 

" Um... I...I wanted..." Fuck he is lost for an excuse. He can't tell him now. Not yet. So he tells him something that isn't really a lie. 

" I needed to tell you that I can't come here anymore. I mean I can but not every week. I um... it's costing me too much money, with the car, and hotel and -" 

Louis is cut off by Harry giggling. 

" Babe, listen to me. Is that what has been playing on your mind, money? Of course, you can come, I have lots of money Lou, you know this, I can pay" 

Louis who is shaking his head from side to side as he listens on, stops Harry right there. 

" No, I couldn't take your money. That's, that's not me, that's not who I am. I couldn't accept that. Sorry." 

Harry frowns while he thinks. A light bulb goes off and Harry leans forward pecking Louis's lips. 

" Then Lachy and I will come to you." 

" Harrrry" 

" What?" 

" You can't do that. It's 4 hours each way, it's too long for him. He can't sit that long you know it."

Harry knows Louis is right and continuous trips would take a toll on him and Harry's insecurities strike again. 

" Or do you just need some space?" 

" No, no Harry no. Trust me, if I could be here 24/7 I would." 

Harry knows he literally didn't mean that but he can't help the butterflies that erupted within at the thought of Louis living there. 

Harry decides to let it go for now sensing a conversation later on when they have both thought about it properly, might be more beneficial. 

" So when will I see you again after you leave tomorrow afternoon?" 

" Maybe two weeks" Louis scratches the back of his head " Maybe three" 

Harry's eyes widen not expecting that answer. He reaches out Wrapping his arm around Louis's waist and clasping him closer. Right now he just wants to enjoy the time they currently have left. His lips rest gently on Louis's ear as he whispers;

" Then let's not waste tonight then"

Harry stands back nodding his head towards his room. 

Who is Louis to say no? 

Harry secures the door closed and Louis stops to take his first real look around Harry's room. It's gorgeous and Louis can't help but open up his arms and fall backwards on the bed, causing Harry to laugh. 

" It's comfy isn't it."

With his eyes focused on the ceiling, Louis can't help but ask. 

" Are you sure about this Harry, what about Lachlan?" 

" The door is closed it will be fine, or are you worried in case he sees you in here?" 

Louis takes a deep breath but doesn't respond.

" I'm gonna go freshen up in the bathroom real quick" 

Harry walks over to the ensuite to brush his teeth and try and calm his nerves. It's been a while since he has had a beautiful man in his bed, anyone in his bed, really. Staring at himself in the mirror, his grin reflects back as he internally praises himself for buying the condoms. He couldn't have been in there more than a solid 5 minutes. He has taken his clothes off leaving his boxers on and re renters his room but only to find Louis snoring like a baby. 

He holds back a laugh as he gently lifts his legs removing his shoes. He tucks him in under the blanket and slides in behind him. He doesn't know whether it's appropriate or not, but he holds Louis firm around the waist, the smell of coconut from his ruffled hair soothing him into drowsiness as he places a kiss to the back of his neck.

' Sweet dreams Lou' 

************** 

"Have you ever thought about getting him into a footy team, you can already tell he would enjoy it. He has the passion Harry and who knows, he might make it big one day." 

Harry watches Lachlan who has pulled his shirt up and over his head after pretending he had scored a goal. 

" My god look at him, that looks ridiculous, why do players even do that? Seriously it's weird." 

Louis laughs, he too watching on proudly at the pure excitement and happiness radiating off of Lachlan who is running around like a madman across the field.

They arrived at the park merely minutes ago. The sun is shining today, a rare sight in the UK which means it's very odd that there's no -one at the park. The playground is huge in comparison to the one's back in London. Louis is glad he brought the football along as the playground is attached to an oval.  Of course, without any doubt, Lachlan chose the ball over the play equipment. 

" I dunno, they just do. Harry look at him. He is in his element. I mean it would be good to get him into a sports team, making some friends too will be good for him don't ya think?" 

Of course, Harry knows Lachlan would jump at the idea but Harry is more worried about the physical side of things. Pushing, bumping, balls flying into faces, the list goes on. 

" He is only 4 Louis, it's a bit young, and what if he gets hurt? What if he suffers an injury of some sort? What if -" 

Louis cuts him off

" WHAT IF .....he has fun and enjoys himself?" 

The smile Louis produces makes Harry melt. There's no point in fighting about it, in Harry's mind Louis has already won. He is starting to realize that Louis has more power over him than he would like to admit but Harry doesn't care, because seeing both Lachlan and Louis happy is all that ever matters to him.

" Do they even have a team for kids so small?" 

Louis air punches knowing well and true that Harry has accepted his request. 

" They have an under 6 team. He will be fine. They don't encourage rough play it's about team building and learning the game. He will be fine H, he is ready, and with that stamina and determination, who the hell is going to stop him? Stop worrying." 

By the look on Harry's face, he still doesn't seem as sure.

" So..... it's a definite yes?" 

While they lock eyes for a few seconds, Louis decides to do something in order to secure the deal. He just has to be brave enough. Looking over first towards Lachlan who is busy concentrating on now going down the slide, he moves slowly, his face becoming closer and closer in line with Harry's. He can feel the heat from Harry's breath, his heart racing at the initial impact of their closed lips. He presses gently but firmly, and even though it isn't passionate it is indeed very personal and intimate. 

Louis pulls back quickly, feeling a slight tinge of embarrassment, and Harry is left speechless. 

" Please" Louis bats his long dark eyelids and Harry is too quick to respond seemingly in a trance as he falls into a deep sea of blue. 

" Ok." 

Louis smirks and it's only then Harry realizes what has just happened. Harry's eyes shoot open surprised as Louis bites his bottom lip.

" You... You...Mr Louis Tomlinson! That was seduction and manipulation at its finest!"

Louis winks, while not being able to hold back a peal of laughter any longer. 

" Well it worked didn't it?" 

Harry smiles on fondly as he watches Louis laugh hysterically. It's at this moment that both Harry's mind and heart come to an agreed conclusion. This 5 foot 9 blue-eyed sassy but adorable man, was definitely going to be the death of him. 

With a full bladder, Louis looks around and finally spots a toilet cubicle not too far across the oval. 

It's a bit of a walk and he has only been gone a few short minutes. 
Washing his hands he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist as a body presses up against his back. 

" Well, I never expected you to be the type for a toilet Escapade, oh shit where is - ? " he spins around and his breath is suddenly knocked out of him. There's a spike of fear that engulfs him as he finds himself stuck, unable to speak or move. He isn't met with green eyes and long curls but more that of blue eyes and blonde hair and a severe wave of terror hits Louis as he digs his fingernails into his thighs not knowing what to do as he begins to notice his heart palpitations, the prickling of his skin becoming unbearable. 

" Nice to see you again little Dove" 

Louis cringes at the now despiteful pet name. He doesn't respond as he tries to get out of the hold he has been put in. 

" It's been a long time ba-" 

Louis wriggles and breaks free, side-stepping around his body and storming out the exit. As quick as he could wasn't fast enough as he is soon stopped by a large hand on his bicep. He spins around, the initial surprise and shock now replaced with nothing but anger. 

" What the fuck are you doing here in Holmes Chapel Marcus? LET ME GO! "

Marcus who has no care in the world that he is holding onto Louis's arm with such force that it's likely bruising him is actually standing there just grinning.

" Why the hurry?" He asks smugly.

He didn't mean to, he didn't think to, he didn't intend to but subconsciously his heart was fixated on the two people he cared about as he looked to his left, Marcus following his line of vision. 

Harry wasn't aware of anything, as he playfully and happily joined Lachlan in the play equipment. They weren't close enough to hear or see properly and all Louis is worried about right now is keeping them away from his maniac Ex. 

" Hmm, new boyfriend huh?" 

Marcus focuses in on Harry and Lachlan and Louis prays to fucking God, he doesn't see, he crosses every inch of his body in the hopes he doesn't join the dots. He knew Louis was pregnant when they split. Marcus might be a right cunt but he definitely wasn't stupid. 

All of Louis's fears come to life the moment he hears the words. Words he never wanted to hear from this horrible man. 

" Wait... is that?" Marcus stares off watching Lachlan laugh as Harry chased him along the little play bridge. "Oh little Dove, you said you were going to abort. You changed your mind huh?" 

It's an immediate response, Louis's body going into protective fight mode. He pulls his arm free as he sizes up Marcus even when Marcus is taller, muscular, and stronger. 

" You fucking stay away do you hear me, you fucking prick. Don't you even think about it."

Marcus laughs at the way Louis tried to intimidate him. It also confirmed to Marcus that he was right. The boy was his. He always liked to stir and rev Louis up, and now was no exception.

" He has my hair. I can see that. Does he have blue eyes like ours as well?" 

Louis knows too well, that Marcus doesn't really care about Lachlan. He hates children, even if one is his own DNA. With Louis not biting back, instead just receiving a glare, Marcus pushes it a step further, relishing in the fact that he knows Louis is suffering. 

" Let's go see, shall we?" 

Marcus begins to walk and Louis steps in front of him. 

" NO ! " he shouts. " No, you can't do that." 

Marcus senses the fear. 

" And why is that? Scared that you won't be the only daddy he loves when I tell him who I am? Fuck off Louis, his my kid, let me meet him."

Marcus again attempts to walk towards the playground and Louis once more steps in front of him, this time banging his fists into his chest. 

" Marcus please, listen to me. You can't do that. He doesn't....he doesn't..." 

Marcus watches on, now invested and more curious as to why Louis is a ball of nerves.

" Five fucking seconds Louis or I'm going over there" 

Louis has never felt so scared in his fucking life. He never thought anything would compare to the day he found out he was pregnant or the day he delivered alone, or the day his so-called boyfriend raped him with his mates while high and blind drunk but here he was. Terrified at Marcus ruining the one shot he has at being happy with finding Lachlan, at being happy with finding love, something he had never expected. Louis manages to find the words to spill it out. 

" He doesn't know who I am ok. He was adopted by that man over there." 

Marcus looked over, eyeing Harry from head to toe. 

" Well, holy fucking shit little Dove. You really are full of surprises. I must say, Daddy over there, I'd like to ram into that, very fit, isn't he? Fuck I'd even bottom for him" 

The words are like a sucker punch into Louis's stomach. He can't believe this is happening. As much as it pains him to do so, he begs. He fucking begs and it makes his skin crawl at the prospect of Marcus winning. 

" Marcus at some point in your fucking existence you loved me at some point, I beg of you please. Don't, don't ruin this for me PLEASE." 

Marcus, the arsehole that he is, grins deviously and Louis knows that look. He feels bile creeping up his throat burning as he tries his best to suppress heaving. 

" Ok. You are right. I did love you so, Yeah sure I won't go over there."

Louis doesn't get excited, he knows that was too easy, way too fucking easy. He waits for it and isn't surprised when he hears the ' But' 

" But...Everything has a price little Dove, you of all people should know that." 

Louis felt tired and not from needing sleep, he felt like the world had suddenly drained him of everything he had. 

" Marcus. Don't do this"

" How much do they mean to you, Louis? I go over there right now and expose your little dirty and very fucked up secret may I add, or....... You come with me right now. You know what I want." 

The scariest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their entire world collapsing down around them and you can't do anything to stop it. All you can do is stare blankly and hope like hell you don't crumble to pieces in the process. 

Louis takes a final look over at his newfound' family'. He blinks away a tear that has built up as he internally apologizes to Harry. He has no choice here. There is no way in this life, he would ever allow Marcus near either of them. He looks back to Marcus who holds his hand out and Louis already hates himself. 

" You don't EVER come near me or THEM again, do you fucking understand me. Promise me, Marcus, promise me!" 

Marcus nods. One thing Marcus is good for is keeping his word. 

As he follows Marcus to his car, he pulls out his phone and texts Harry. He lies some bullshit about an emergency and it kills him to know Harry is going to be upset. He isn't going to believe this excuse at all.

One step forward with Harry one day.
Two steps back, the next.

Louis has never been one to contemplate murdering someone but now as Marcus's hand lingers on his thigh as he pulls out of the park, Louis doesn't mind the prospect of life in jail at the hands of taking this disgrace of a human's life away. 

The last thing he sees before venturing out of sight, is Harry standing there, still and confused, his eyes scanning the area in hopes of finding him.

**************

Now that Marcus has got what he wanted, Louis wants to leave as fast as he can. He hasn't wanted to leave Holmes Chapel so badly in such a long time. He tells Marcus to drop him off at the hotel to which, Marcus doesn't argue with. There have been no words exchanged between them since they left the playground. It's been nothing but icy and cold, even when Marcus had his way with him. 

Louis slams the car door, lowering his head to the window. 

" That's it, Marcus, You leave me the fuck alone now, don't let me see you again. EVER!! " 

Marcus nods in agreement as he stares at the steering wheel. Louis shakes his head in disbelief at the way Marcus shows no compassion or any type of remorse. 
He turns to leave but stops when he hears Marcus finally speak. He doesn't turn back around, opting to face the hotel, not eager to make eye contact with his smug face any longer.  
Out of nowhere comes words he didn't expect. 

" Look after my boy Louis" 

Louis has no intention of answering. He scoffs at the use of 'MY BOY' because like hell he is, by DNA maybe but that's it and he continues on towards the hotel. 

' 
Look after my boy'
  he repeats in his head, still amazed at the audacity. 

He frowns as he nears the hotel's front entrance, annoyed at himself for even thinking it, but Marcus's words had sounded sincere?? Maybe deep fucking down, somewhere in that pit of darkness he calls a soul, he might actually care about his son. The wheels spin as Marcus takes off in a hurry and Louis clears that ridiculous thought from his mind as he realizes the prick never even asked what Lachlan's name was.

He opens up the door, physically and mentally exhausted from the day's activities. It's close to 1.30 pm and there's nothing he would like more right now than to pack his stuff and go home. At least back in London behind closed doors he can curl up and cry. It's when he collects his bag, that he remembers. 

His car is still at Harry's.

He had left it there when Harry drove them to the park and 'fuck ' he curses out loud because walking over there to collect his vehicle with the chance of seeing Harry is the last thing he wants to do right now. 

Even walking at his slowest, it doesn't seem like it takes long at all before he is striding up Harry's driveway. He can't see Harry's car anywhere, it could be out the back or in the garage but he looks at it as a good sign, or well he hopes it is. He fishes around in his pocket for the keys not diverting his eyes anywhere but at the car.

He unlocks the door and races to put his seat belt on. He starts the engine and speeds off, not looking back. He is grateful no one had come out, it means he wasn't seen. 

Or was he? 

Unaware to Louis someone had watched him leave. 
Above, from the second level, a set of eyes watched on as Louis made a quick getaway. 
Unfortunately, the little boy had no idea or understanding as to why it was that one of his favourite people in his world, kept leaving without saying goodbye.

**************

Harry has sent Louis multiple texts messages and rang a handful of times,  but all he keeps hearing is the automated tone that his phone is off. 

Understanding Louis's words and actions are proving more and more difficult as the weeks go on and even though Harry is head over heels in love, he is starting to wonder whether all this bizarre and unexplainable behaviour from Louis is really worth it.

He thought they were going great. They had progressed from just friends to friends who kiss, cuddle and flirt ???? They had made their intentions clear that they were both interested but Harry is having a hard time wondering if Lachlan is going to end up hurt in the long run if Louis doesn't pull it all together soon. He just prays that there was indeed a real emergency and that it's nothing more.

Louis has intentionally not turned on his phone but when the day turns into night and Louis needs to set his alarm for work tomorrow, the inevitable happens. The moment the phone starts back up, there's an influx of beeping. 4 missed calls and 7 messages from Harry. He re-reads them all over and over. 

' Where are 

You

?' 

' Lou, are you ok?' 

' I hope everything is alright 

' Lachy and I are home now, see you when you get back' 

' Can you please just reply so I can stop worrying' 

' Lachlan has something to give you before you leave. He is so excited'

' 
Lachlan said he saw you leave. You

didn't

come in to say goodbye? Did I do 

something

wrong Lou?, This 

isn't

the first time you keep leaving. If I have misread anything between us, just let me know.'

This really hurts Louis. 
He thought he was doing the right thing by keeping Marcus away and yet all he has done is hurt Harry and Lachlan once again. 
He couldn't stand the thought of facing Harry, he felt sore after not being with someone for so long and even though they hadn't become exclusive he feels he has cheated. The thought of Harry ever knowing what happened today makes him ill. He feels dirty. 

And Lachlan.......

Well.. he has broken his heart as it seems once again because as if Harry had subconsciously become aware of Louis turning on his phone, another message comes through with a photo attachment.

From Harry :
" Lachlan wanted to give you this to put on your fridge. He spent a whole hour on it and was excited to give it to you before you went home today but ....well you just left. I told him I would send it through instead. I'm not going to lie Louis, he was really upset. Hope you sorted out your 'emergency' have a great night Lou.' 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/23a51b3d46f24d5a8fa513f063072bee942462ed/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f574442392d54417a6542717335673d3d2d313238373737383133332e3137323938616262303936666235643036373830333631343639382e6a7067)

~~~END OF FLASHBACK~~~ 

" Jesus fucking christ Lou. No wonder you have been a mess all week." 

" I'm too scared to go back Kev. I feel ...I feel....." 

Louis doesnt get to finish because he breaks down crying. Kevin tugs him in close for a tight hug. A hug well and truly needed. 

Kevin pours them another drink and another and another. 

" Please don't leave me tonight Kev, I don't, I mean, I can't be on my own. Just please stay." 

So Kevin does. 

Everything in your life is a reflection of a decision you have made.
You are free to make whatever choices you want, but you are not free from the consequences that, that choice may endure.

**************

A/N 

Thoughts?
I'm sorry, I know you guys wanted Louis's secret to be revealed but I can't have that happen just yet but it is happening soon. ( really soon)  

F
or those of you who are interested, this is how I 

perceive
Marcus.
  

![](https://img.wattpad.com/60361da7deec8ae0eed42d7322b1cea56b546f17/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f6f6f4d71514652397077655542413d3d2d313238373737383133332e313732393832633862376433383631663931343438313634363336302e6a7067)

# Chapter 11 - London  

A/N 

9k words 😳
**
A lot of fluff

warning

***

It was needed for 

you

all to fall in 

love

with them being

together

. 

⚠️ Slight SMUT warning⚠️

ALSO AND FOREMOST PLEASE READ THE BOTTOM AUTHORS NOTE WHEN AT THE END.


I've been feeling a little down this last week and my heart wasn't really in it, so I'm sorry that the smut is a bare minimum and the whole chapter is poorly written. Sorry. 🥺

**********

' Nothing makes a room feel more emptier than wanting someone in it.'

Harry is struggling and it's only Saturday morning. His first official weekend without Louis in such a long time and it is already killing him. While he sips from his coffee as he watches Lachlan play outside through the window, he finds it hard to remember what weekends were like before Louis had entered their lives. 

If it was any other regular Saturday, he would be hearing Lachlan and Louis laugh and scream as they chased each other across the frosty morning grass, tackling each other for the ball. He would have embarrassingly stared at Lou as he chewed down his toast, taking good note of the way he used his tongue to lick up the crumbs around his mouth. He would have fonded over the way, Louis gently swept his hair out of his eyes. He would have - 

Nope. Harry has had enough, he can't sit back any longer pretending that Louis's lack of presence isn't affecting him the way it is. He hasn't spoken to Louis much since he weirdly left last week. Louis had texted saying he was ok and that he felt extremely bad about the whole situation and had sent through a very detailed and convincing apology. 

Harry forgave him instantly.

He has an idea, the only thing holding him back is the voice in the back of his head convincing him that Louis may have needed some space. Wiping his mouth and hands with the tea towel, he taps on the window gaining Lachlan's attention, and waves for him to come inside. 

" Munchkin how would you like to go for a long drive?" 

Lachlan pouts and Harry already understands his answer. 

" Why, it's sooo boring in the seat"

Harry ruffles the top of his hair and already accepts defeat.

" Alright baby, it was a silly idea."

Lachy collects his water bottle from the fridge and kindly offers Harry some. Harry declines and praises him for being kind and thoughtful. He bites the inside of his cheek as he tries really hard not to, he doesn't want to force Lachy into anything he doesn't want to do but Harry can't seem to let it go. 

" Are you sure, you don't want to go on that drive?" He tests once again. 

" Papa, it's bor-"

"London, sweetheart London. We can go and see Louis" 
Harry blurts with a huge smile, although it's caked with a little bit of embarrassment at the way he has just sounded so pushy to his 4-year-old.

Whatever guilt or stupidity he felt soon flew out the window because it bloody worked. Lachlan smiled as he clapped his hands. 

" Yes, Papa yes. LOUIS LOUIS LOUIS YAY YAY YAY" Lachlan shouts prompting Harry to quieten him. 

" Settle down love, let's change your clothes, find your shoes and pack some snacks for you, so we can get going."

It doesn't take them long before they are on the road. After filling the car with gas, Harry is only 10 minutes into the trip before he internally thanks himself for packing coloring pencils and paper.

It's quiet in the car for a solid 30 minutes before Lachlan breaks the silence. 

" Is Louis going to be happy to see us, Papa?" 

Harry looks through the revision mirror, taking note of the way Lachlan is frowning in thought as he stares out the car window. Harry isn't sure how to answer that, he doesnt know what his reaction is going to be considering he hasn't let Louis know they are coming. 

" I'm sure he is going to be surprised but, Lou loves you darling, of course he will be happy to see you." 

Harry decides his answers have been sufficient enough as Lachlan doesn't respond, instead returning his attention back to the coloring book.

Lachlan is asleep when they pull over outside Louis's address. Harry looks at the time, it's 11.45 am. Being a Saturday he knows Louis isn't working, but he still prays that he is indeed home, hopeful he hasn't wasted a trip for nothing. He feels a sudden sickness in his stomach that maybe this was a bad idea because what if Louis really didn't want them there and did need a break? He almost changes his mind to return home when Lachy yawns loudly soon getting excited noticing the car had come to a stop.

With every step closer towards his door, Harry regrets this surprise visit more and more, his anxiety getting the better of him. When he comes face to face with the number 7 on the apartment door, he looks at Lachlan who scrunches his face, happy and excited to see Louis's home.

He knocks once, twice, a third time, his knuckles already sore from coming into contact with the olden-style wooden door, no doorbell in sight. Looking at Lachlan he shrugs when they don't receive an answer. Immediately he wonders whether it's the correct address, and contemplates leaving when he hears commotion coming from inside. The door opens and Harry is quick to apologize. 

" Oh I'm so sorry, my apologies I must have the wrong apartment." 

Harry smiles into deep brown eyes at the slightly older dark haired beautiful man. He once again smiles apologetically and turns before the man can even speak but is stopped when he hears the voice he has come to know so well. 

" Who was it?" Louis calls from behind, as he starts to approach the door. 

Kevin opens the door further allowing Louis to come into view with his visitor as he pulls a shirt over his head. 

" Harry? What? What are you doing here?" 

One look is all it took.

Harry has gotten it all wrong.

He eyes Kevin up and down not missing the fact that Kevin is only in his sweatpants, a six-pack on full display, his hair along with Louis's messy and tangled. Harry skims the room nodding as he witnesses all the Vodka and scotch bottles. The place is a right mess and quite frankly Harry is glad he is no longer going to take Lachlan in there. The smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke is overpowering and before Louis can even begin to explain, he has tugged Lachlan's arm and begun exiting down the hallway. 

" Harry. Wait please." He yells frantically but Harry doesn't look back, too insistent on leaving but another set of eyes meets his instead. A very sad looking pair. Lachlan lifts his only free hand and scratches under his armpit quickly and consecutively. Louis thinks it is weird but doesn't think any more of it.

Louis rings and rings but it continues to go to his voicemail. 

" Harry. Ring me back, please it wasn't what it looked like, I promise it was only Kevin he - " 

The beeping of the voicemail indicates he has run out of time. 

Fucking hell, he curses.

Kevin had left not long after Harry. 

Last night the drinking had gone too far. After several bottles were consumed, Louis had broken down to Kevin, often letting out small outbursts of anger as he explained the way Marcus had ruined his life in every unforgivable way. He cried and cried as Kevin provided a friendly shoulder to cry on. Throughout the night Louis who had drunk a tad more than Kevin had several times told him that he was going to ring Harry and confess, confess it all. Kevin, every time took the phone away and hid it knowing all too well he would regret the drunken decision in the morning.

Kevin had rung his wife earlier in the night and explained the situation at hand, that he as a friend was in dire need to provide comfort and support. The two drank heavily and quickly, Louis throwing up at some point but continuing to drink afterwards. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning (4.50 am) to be exact that Kevin finally settled Louis down to sleep. 

With Louis blind drunk, Kev pulled off his shirt that was covered in vomit, and laid him into his bed while Kevin stripped off his own tee while taking to the couch. It wasn't until they heard the knocking on the front door that both of them were stirred awake. 

" Louis, wake up there's someone at your door." Kevin engaged quietly knowing full well there would be a hangover already in place, as he opened Louis's bedroom door. Louis groaned as he attempted to sit up.

" Ok. Can you just see who it is please while I search for a shirt?" 

" No problem" 

And that is when it all turned to shit, Harry unaware of the total misunderstanding. 

Harry. 
What was he doing here anyway? 

Louis took a shower, a long skin burning shower, in an attempt to somehow kill his hangover. When dressed, he pops some Advil in the hopes the headache kindly fucks off. 

He knows there's no point, Harry isn't answering but he tries to call again anyway. This time it doesn't even ring, it's switched off. He collects a trash bag and walks around his tiny home, empty bottles clanging as he throws them into the black bag. It takes him a lot longer to clean than usual, dragging his ass, hung over with no energy at all. 

An hour later and all is well and truly returned to normal. The bottles are gone. The tables and benches have been wiped, the windows have been opened with new air providing the room with much needed freshness. The smell has been replaced by floral air deodorizer and Louis feels cleaner. 

He kicks back on the couch turning on the TV, of course with no intent to watch as Harry and Lachlan absorb his thoughts. There's a documentary on, about animals and it's currently showing how monkeys survive against predators. He watches it for about a solid 10 minutes before it hits him. 

He knows where they are.

He grabs his car keys, sprays himself again with body spray, and races down to his underground car park. The traffic so it seems, is actually on his side today as he quickly scoots across to the other side of town in record time. 

It's 1.26 pm when he parks the car, forgetting to pay the meter ticket, too much in a hurry to find his family. There's an influx of people the moment he purchases his ticket to enter. He waits patiently for a few moments before finally gaining entrance. 

He walks around and around, losing his breath as he puffs consistently, the hangover not really helping his already out of shape persona. He digs in his pocket reaching for his phone desperately dialing Harry's number once more. He holds it to his ear as he scans the area, his eyes finally landing on a familiar mop of long hair and long legs. He hangs up the phone and smiles. He walks over approaching them from behind watching as Lachlan giggles nervously as he tries to feed the giraffe. 

Louis didn't figure it out at first, the clue Lachlan had given him when they left earlier today. When Lachy had scratched under his armpits he was trying to intimidate a monkey. Lachlan had hoped Louis would remember. He had been begging his papa for weeks to go to a zoo to see the mammals.

He doesn't know how to address them. He doesn't want to make a scene, and he really hopes Harry gives him the benefit of the doubt. 

Louis stands behind them both, who are still unaware of his presence. Harry is trying to explain to Lachy about why Giraffes have long legs. 

" They look just as long as papa's legs don't they?" He says softly and calmly but loud enough for them both to hear. 

" Louis!!!" Lachlan shouts jumping up into his arms. 

Harry looks away back to the giraffe when he notices who it was. Placing Lachlan back down, he talks with him for a few short minutes about all the animals they have seen so far, while Harry remains silent.
If there's one thing that Louis despises its silent treatment.

Harry hasn't told him to fuck off or show any sign of disappointment when Louis tagged along as they moved throughout the zoo. It doesn't happen until they reach the bear enclosures. Lachlan is talking through the glass to a black bear and Louis takes the opportunity to break the ice. 

" Harry. Please let me explain. It was Kevin, from work. We had drinks last night and... I was triggered by something that I can't explain to you just yet and..." 

Louis searches Harry's face for any sign of emotion but Harry isn't giving anything away.

"Harry we just drank a lot and passed out. There was nothing else to it. I promise you. You and Lachy. You guys are everything to me. I wouldn't chance losing you two, I just wouldn't H." 

Harry lets out a sigh as he runs his hand through his hair, soon returning his gaze to Lachy who has moved over to the polar bears. With no words being exchanged Louis smiles at Lachlan and shows him how to feed them with the fish provided in the bucket outside the fence. 

Harry takes out his camera from his backpack, Snapping the picture, the urge to forgive and forget wins. The thing is Harry hasn't been able to stop thinking all day, even as he walked hand in hand with his son around London Zoo, he couldn't keep his mind from replaying Kevin opening the door, to Louis putting on a T-shirt.

![](https://img.wattpad.com/e874e62d2296c5b050415728381384eeb8bad9ee/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f4d487a6d696c34415155535a37673d3d2d313238383434313835372e3137326236326261333938366138313732313735363139323630302e6a7067)

Harry had realized from the moment he saw Kevin half naked around Louis this morning that, Lou was it for him. He wants him all to himself and he really needs to tell him that before someone else steps in. Harry wants Louis. All of him, the good, the bad, for better or worse, til death does them part. Each and every fiber of Louis's being, Harry needs in order to complete himself, the half of his life that was missing and felt null and void until now was beginning to form as a whole. A piece of himself that had been missing, now no longer incomplete. 

There was an inner self-consciousness of his own inferiority as jealousy sparked through him today and Harry doesn't like that. He doesn't like how protective and over-jealous he became. It scares him a little how much Louis affects him that way.

Louis is leaning against the rail, pointing to show Lachlan the birds flying above their heads in the enclosure. Harry knows now 100% this is what he wants. Lachlan and Louis are his family. He strolls up behind Louis brushing his hand, entwining their fingers.  Louis relaxes sensing the shift in the atmosphere. Harry returns the smile as the three of them continue their little adventure all through the afternoon, united as the trio they were clearly destined to be.

************* 

They arrive back at Louis's apartment just after 5 pm. It's been a really long day and Lachlan can barely function, his legs now like jelly from exhaustion, his eyes already drooping pleading for some sleep. When Louis unlocks his door Harry is surprised to see the interior looking nothing like it had this morning.

" Oh, you cleaned" Harry smirks and Louis swats his arm playfully.

" Yes, I cleaned. I am semi-domesticated. As I said, you caught me at a bad time that was all." 

Harry frowns knowing he also feels the need to apologize. 

" Lou about this morning I'm really s -" 

Louis lays Lachlan down onto the couch who curls up into a ball as Louis places a light blanket over him. 

" Haz, it's fine. There's nothing for you to apologize for. It was just a misunderstanding." 

Louis pulls out a seat at the kitchen table for Harry to sit in as he once more downs some pills for his headache. They are not worried about dinner, they had eaten at the zoo before arriving home.

As though they were one of the same, both men yawn loudly, causing them both to laugh.

" Look at us mid-20s and wanting sleep by 6 pm on a Saturday." 

" Well, I dunno about you Lou, but I am spent.
The drive up here and the zoo trip has me needing some beauty sleep." 

Louis stands up. 

" Yeah well, I had like 5 hours sleep last night, supported a major hangover all day, cleaned my house, panicked when I thought I'd lost you guys, and add a full day with animals, I'd say who gives a fuck how early it is, I'm fucking tired." 

That emits a laugh from Harry who then stands also. It becomes apparent that they are both thinking about it. 

They need to share a bed again. 

They have been good up until now, but it's getting harder, really hard to refrain themselves. Louis is too tired to even notice Harry eying him off as he undresses but Harry also feels the heaviness in his eyelids the moment his head hits the pillow.

" Lou, please" 

Harry opens up his arm so Louis can scoot over closer, evidently cuddling into his chest. There's an old quote that says, falling asleep next to someone you love can reduce depression, make you live longer, and fall asleep faster. Harry is pretty sure that the sleeping part is true as he struggles to stay awake. He can hear Louis's breath deepening and he has no idea why he asks it, he just blames it on being worn out and semi-delusional. 

" Hey, Lou?"

" mmm" 

He is sure Louis is half asleep already, his lack of response and heavy breathing confirming it. 

" Do you want kids?" 

He waits but no reply comes. Harry assumes he is asleep and it's true, Louis is slipping in and out of consciousness completely incoherent and unaware of his words. 

" I already have one silly." Louis says as he drifts off deep into lala hand.

Harry frowns, confused at that response but eventually puts it down to being over-tired. He too surrenders into a slumber. 

It's at 4 am when Louis is woken by a streak of light shining in from his bedroom door being opened. Lachlan approaches Louis's side of the bed.  

" I need to wee" a small whisper sounds.

Louis gets up quietly taking his hand and leading him into the bathroom, careful not to wake Harry in the process knowing he needs sleep for the long drive back to Holmes Chapel when they wake. 

Even half asleep Louis takes a moment to finally let it sink in that his little baby boy is here. Here in his house. He makes sure he washes his hands and fetches him a glass of water. 

" I'm scared Louis, can I sleep in your bed?" 

Louis yawns and takes his hand leading him back into the bedroom. 

"Of course but straight back to sleep ok." 

Lachlan crawls up the bed positioning himself right in the middle. Louis and Harry are both laying on their sides directly facing Lachlan. Louis is beyond tired and within seconds has already started snoring again. 

The problem with being tired and sleepy is occasionally you might miss out on certain things. Little things, big things, and sometimes very important things.

With both men fast asleep, light snores fulfilling the room, Lachlan places a kiss on both Harry and Louis's cheeks. Unfortunately for the sleeping adults, they don't hear when the little boy whispers 

'
Goodnight Papa, Goodnight Daddy' 

*************

After Lachlan wakes his 'parents' at an early time for Louis of 6.15 am, he beams with joy as his house has never felt so much like a home. To hear laughter and conversation instead of silence is nothing but pure joy for Louis's heart.

It's when Lachlan leaves the room and Harry is laying in bed still not wanting the day to start yet, Louis gets dressed and is hit with nerves. Louis looks at Harry and then over at his walk-in cupboard only meters away. It scares him to the core. To think his biggest and most precious secret that could rip everything away from him lies in that box only footsteps away. He has the urge to get Harry out of his room then and there, no matter what it takes. 

" Haz, come on get up, You can't keep dozing back off. I don't want to waste what time we have left today. " 

That gains Harry's attention as he throws the blanket off as he wipes his eyes. 

" Where's my little baby?" 

Louis can't resist the opportunity to flirt.

" I'm Right here Harold." 

Louis is pretty sure he hears a soft growl as Harry bites his lip lunging forward across the bed in order to get closer. He stops dead in his tracts when as if on cue, the 3-foot high cock blocker enters the room. 

" I'm hungry Papa" 

**************

The whole morning consists of a park visit and a trip to the London Eye before Harry explains he needs to leave not wanting a late return since Lachlan has kindly in the morning.

It's just after lunch when Harry straps Lachlan into the car seat. Louis doesn't want them to leave and it's only now he gets an insight into how Harry must feel every time he has to return to London and he doesn't like it one bit. 

He taps the glass of Lachlan's window gaining his attention. Louis draws a love heart with his finger then points at him and Lachlan, although Louis can't really see it, tears up as he places his palm where Louis's heart is.  

The loud bang of the trunk being closed makes Louis jump as he looks to Harry who is smiling. 

" So..."

" So"

Harry looks inside the back window at Lachy who is already distracted by his books. Louis leans over pecking Harry's cheek but Harry isn't satisfied with that as he pulls him closer connecting their lips in a sweet but brisk kiss. 

It's enough.......for now. 

" Drive safe" 

" Always do" 

When the car eventually fades off into the distance Louis feels empty. He hasn't realized how stupid he must look standing there, lonesome on the side of the footpath looking as though the world is ending. But it's half the truth. He doesn't feel the same when he is alone. 

The apartment has become a little untidy again with Lachlan having felt the need to touch and rearrange everything he could lay his hands on. Louis smiles at it though and he has no intention of cleaning it, the mess a constant reminder that his son, his baby boy was in fact here, his home roots. 

He collects the kettle filling it with water. As he waits for the impending whistle he taps his hand on the sink, smiling like an idiot as he thinks about how nice the last 24 hours have been. 

He pours his cuppa, walking across the room past the kitchen table with the intent of reaching the lounge room but something catches his eye. 

There's an envelope on the table. There's nothing written on it, it's blank. He places the cup down and opens the seal. He doesn't know whether to be upset or cheerful. He sways more to the latter, fortunate and grateful that Harry had been so thoughtful. 

He looks at the dates and smiles. Of course, it was for the following weekend. He smiles as he drops the paper down onto the table. 

'
London to Holmes Chapel return train tickets.'

He finds his phone still plugged into his charger and sends a message.

To Harry:
" I'm not even going to complain. I can't wait to see you guys, I miss you already
X "

Louis does some laundry and binge watches Netflix until the sun goes down. It's 7.10 pm when he gets a reply. 

From Harry :
" Sorry for the late reply, Niall was here when I got back. Wish I tied you up and kidnapped you. I miss your company already and plus, there's no one here to bring me a cup of coffee anymore 😭" 

Louis isn't going to lie, he laughs at the last bit but reading 'tied up' sends a pulse straight to his dick. 

To Harry:
" I knew it! You only wanted me for my barista skills. 🤣
Tie me up you say? Don't tease Styles😛" 

Louis was brave but nervous as he hit the send button, their flirting and relationship finally climbing to the next level. The message sound dings and Louis hasn't ever been so cautious to open it. 

From Harry:
" Fuck....Lou....You say that now when I'm 4 hours away.........Jesus, you have created a very prominent HARD problem for me here." 

They have never dirty texted before but Louis likes where it's heading. He is kind of amused at the way he had stirred Harry up already. He pinches his lips as he makes a rash decision. 

He turns on his camera.

He lowers his pants exposing his erection through his tight boxers, Snapping the picture with the following caption. 

To Harry:
" Same H, same."

The reply is instant. 

From Harry :
" TOMLINSON !!!!!!!!" 

Louis laughs as his fingers move quickly typing out his reply. 

To Harry :
" Sleep well, Harry." 

***************      
   
Louis only has another 15 minutes of driving left until he sees the familiar welcome to Holmes Chapel sign. There's a difference however, with no longer needing to check in, with Harry demanding he stay at the house now instead of the hotel, Louis's lack of money being Harry's cover for the idea of spending more time. 

He hears his phones ringtone the sound of Elvis Presley's ' 
I can't help falling in love with you
'  which echoes throughout the car, prompting him to swerve to the left, placing the gearbox into park.

" Hey, I'm almost there."

Louis looks at the phone thinking he may have lost connection when he gets no response. 

" Harry ?" 

Finally, Harry speaks, it's soft and somewhat, delicate?

" Yeah sorry, um, I knew you would be getting close but I. I really wanted to ask you something and I've realized I'm too chicken shit to ask it to your face and... I know I shouldn't be nervous but...."

" H, calm down it's ok. Whatever it is you need I'm all ears, ask away." 

Harry timidly laughs. 

" Ok um... Tomorrow, I was kind of wondering if like, maybe we could um go out somewhere?"

" Yeah, sure that sounds fun. Lachy wanted to go to that swimming center that could be -" 

" No Lou... Um... I meant.... like, just you and me" 

" Oh.......oh like a date." 

'Fuck' Harry is actually asking him out, like properly. 

" Lou? If you don't want to-" 

" It would be perfect Harry, I would love to go out with you. But Lachlan, did you call Niall?" 

" No mum is in town and wants to see him but anyway I will explain more when you get here." 

*************   

Anne arrives promptly at 11.30 am Saturday, Lachlan is excited to spend some time with his grandma. Anne is fond of Louis, that Harry already knows. Anne brings up the subject of the impending Christmas holidays and both Harry nor Louis hadn't thought much about it. It does make Louis gooey inside when Anne suggests they do Christmas lunch at Harry's this year, asking Louis if he was allergic to anything, assuming he would be there.

It's the beginning of December, time coming and going, disappearing quickly as Louis falls harder in love with the styles family and when Louis helps Anne pack Lachlan's bag into the car while Harry takes a bathroom break, he smiles when Anne compliments him. 

" You really have changed my son Louis, he smiles again and I can see the way Lachlan adores you. Whatever it is you are doing young man, please continue it." 

She takes it upon herself to hug him.

" I really like you, you know. Have fun today." 

***************

"Harry C'mon what are you 5? Tell me, what are we doing today?" 

Louis has become playful and very hands-on as he tries to convince Harry to let him know what the plans are for today by trying to tickle him. Harry is fixing his hair in the bathroom as Louis stands by his side, waiting patiently as Harry ignores him deliberately smiling as Louis pouts. 

" Ok, I'm all done." 

Harry walks out of the bathroom, Louis following close behind. 

" Stop looking at me like that Lou, those puppy eyes are not working." 

Harry is a liar. 
They do work. 
They HAVE worked. 

" Alright, alright." Harry caves in.

Louis eyes Harry up and down, thanking the heavens above for blessing this world with such a gorgeous human being. 

" So where do you want to go?" 

Louis is confused. 

" What? You didn't plan anywhere?" 

Harry can almost guarantee what he says next is probably the worse idea he has ever had. 

" Um well. I kind of had a thought and erm tonight I'm, I'm handing you the power." 

Louis raises his eyebrow suspiciously. 

" It's a YES date, Lou. Whatever you ask of me, I must say yes." 

Louis rubs his hands together and smirks. 

" Hmm interesting, very bold of you Styles, so anything I want?" 

Harry pokes his tongue into his cheeks, he can already tell Louis is going to milk this good and proper. 

" Only til midnight." 

Louis laughs. 

" Oh, so I'm kinda channeling Disney princess vibes am I? when the clock strikes midnight it's all over." 

Harry's eyes search around the top of  Louis's head. 

" I don't see no crowns, so no, not really" He teases. 

" Some queens don't need a crown, Harry." Louis replies sarcastically.

Harry laughs and starts to walk downstairs. 

" Where to for lunch then? "

Louis doesn't even have to think about it, he replies 'McDonald's' within seconds. Harry is quick to try and change his mind. 

" Really? It's a bit greasy and it's really not good for-" 

Louis raises his eyebrows, the evilness in Louis's thoughts protruding to his smirk. Harry already knowing where this is leading.

" Harry, can we please go to Mcdonald's?" 

Harry scoffs with a very fake smile. 

" Yes. Yes, we can."

Harry is regretting this idea and they haven't even left the house yet.

************

They only have 3 hours to burn before Anne brings Lachlan home and Louis is already using his ' yes's' I  wish I could say wisely, except it's just been stupid funny shit. So far, he has made Harry endure a sickly amount of food, from fast food to donuts to even visiting a lolly store. Not missing the opportunity, knowing it will never happen again, Louis takes the chance to embarrass Harry at every given moment. Harry has had to feed spoon Louis his lunch, address him as King Tomlinson in the shops, and demanded a foot rub when they get home. Harry drew the line when Louis tried to drag him into a pet store to buy Lachlan a dog.

On the productive side of things, he has made Harry buy several things for Lachlan including the car set he had asked for, the one he screams at every time the ad comes on, as well as proper football boots, expensive professional ones Louis wishes he had the money to buy for him. Harry remembered in the sports store to inform Louis that a few days ago he found the number for the local football club and Lachlan has his first training session in a couple of days.     

************ 
~~ 
Later that evening
~~ 

" pssst... "

Louis covers his mouth hiding his lips from sight as he leans over to Lachy's ear as Harry pretends to 'not see' as he unpacks the groceries they collected on the way home. 

"Tell Papa you want ice cream for dinner" Louis whispers as Lachlan looks on puzzled knowing all too well Louis must be crazy because his papa would never allow that.  

" He is a meanie, he won't let me. He says it's not a dinner food." he whispers back not so quietly. Harry quickly catches on to what is about to happen. 

" Trust me, when I give you a thumbs up, you ask him. Deal?" 

Lachlan just giggles and nods his head 'yes' thinking it's definitely not going to work. 

" Harry, I got a quick question for you. It is allowed for me to give one of my yes answers to other people right? Like, I can let someone else ask you something and you still have to say yes right?  That is allowed isn't it?"

Louis smirks 

Harry wants to kill him, there's no sugarcoating it. He shakes his head mockingly, knowing Louis has him cornered. He is wishing right now he had never thought of this ridiculous game but watching Lachlan and Louis conspire against him makes his heart feel full while they look at him with puppy eyes. 

Harry clears his throat and smiles. 

" Yes, Louis. YES, you can transfer just this ONCE! " 

Louis sends Lachlan the signal, Lachlan not looking too enthusiastic as he doesn't really understand what it truly is that is happening. 

" Can we have ice cream for dinner papa?" I know it's not a dinner food and it's not heal-" 

" YES, yes you may little munchkin."

Louis watches Lachlan's little face, eager to see his excited reaction but it doesn't come. His jaw has dropped open but is staring at Harry with no expression, blinking rapidly, too stunned to speak. 

" You ok bud?"

Louis can't relax the smile that is fixated on his face. Lachlan manages to turn towards Louis, a small frown forming as he replies. 

" Yeah, I'm ok. I just... my ears, they are...they....they are broken." 

Harry and Louis share a quick concerned look while Lachy taps his ears.  

" Louis, my ears...They are not working." 

There's something in the sincerity of Lachlan's voice that has Harry rushing towards him bending down to his level and immediately checking into his ears. Harry is too occupied, searching for any blockages or foreign objects in his ear to witness the wink Lachlan gives Louis. 

Louis nearly loses it when he realizes Lachlan's playfulness. The little shit is lying and it takes every inch of Louis's strength to contain his composure. 

" Baby, you need to tell papa right now. Does it hurt? Are they sore? Why do you think they are not working baby, tell papa please, you are scaring me."

Lachlan deserves an Oscar. He doesn't fault or lose his game at all. He sadly smiles at his Papa ready to end his charade. 

" Because my ears thought you said yes papa. There's no way you said yes, noooooo way." 

Lachlan giggles and Louis is thrown off guard when Lachy high-fives him as he bursts out laughing. Harry is surprised at Lachlan's antics. He has never played about like that before and Louis gets the impression that Harry thinks he was the one to conduct it all, if Harry's intense stare was anything to go by.

" What... you think? I had nothing to do with that H, I swear. " Louis says lifting his hands to surrender, feeling the need to defend himself.

Harry looks straight at Lachlan.  

" Lachlan Edward Styles. That was not funny. I really thought you were injured. Why would joke around like that?"

Lachlan flicks his eyes back and forth between Harry and Louis repeatedly as he starts to become fidgety. 

" Zaynie." He replies. 
"I heard him telling uncle Niall about pranks. He said that he made uncle Liam pull his pants down and - " 

" Woah Woah Woah Woah.." 

Harry interjects stopping Lachlan right there, having no clue where that conversation was leading. 

" Ok. Listen to me and listen carefully. Pranks are for adults ok. I don't want you pranking papa anymore. Because next time, you might really be injured and I will just think you are joking. Do you see why it's a bad idea darling?" 

Lachlan thinks about it for a minute. He decides nodding a yes is enough. 

" I also think that you little mister, need to stop listening in on adult conversations ok?" 

Lachlan tries. He tries really hard but he couldn't not, not when the opportunity was right there. He fucking laughs. 

" What's funny?" Both men ask in unison. 

Lachlan presses his lips together tightly. He truly is thinking about whether his response is going to get him into trouble or not. 

" I mean. I would stop listening papa ... if ...if....my ears really weren't working."

He laughs hysterically, Louis joining in this time clutching his stomach as each laugh constricts his stomach muscles. Lachlan runs. He runs fast laughing as he makes a beeline upstairs. 

Yep, Louis has no doubt whatsoever, that this kid....... is definitely his. 

*************

Louis can not move. His belly is too full from today's activities, positive that it may burst at any given moment. The three of them are currently sitting in the lounge room, ' Keeping up with the Kardashians' is playing in the background as Louis enjoys mocking the way the sisters and the entire show are all so fake and attention seeking. Louis and Harry are sat beside each other, Louis curled up to Harry's side as Lachlan is sat on the floor engrossed with his toys.

Louis laughs at the screen as Harry stops to admire him. He doesn't care that he is rudely staring, too lost in the crinkles around Louis's temples as he widely bares his teeth grinning smile. Harry understands that beauty as we know it, is how we perceive ourselves on the inside but when he looks at Louis, he realizes that sometimes people emit that beauty through their eyes and when Louis turns to him, the curve of his lips widened at how happy he is, Harry decides that Louis's warm bright smile, is the universal language of kindness.

With a glance to Lachlan, checking that the coast is clear, he leans forward connecting their lips. It's short and over before it begins but the sound of their ' kiss' unfortunately was heard.  

" Ewe... Did you just kiss?" 

The boy asks curiously keeping his eyes down as he continues to play with his hot wheel cars in front of him.

Harry looks mortified as Louis smirks, not realizing their kiss was much louder than it was intended to be. As bad as it seemed, they kept forgetting that Lachlan was present in the room, too caught up in each other's beauty and needs.

" Umm..." Harry stalls not knowing whether now was the time to let Lachlan know the truth of their new  'relationship' just yet. He looks to Louis for any inkling of help. 

Lachlan brings himself to stand up, his hands on his hips waiting for an answer. 

Louis shrugs to Harry, the unspoken understanding of telling the truth becomes clear. 

" Yes?" 
Harry finds the courage to say, but it comes out more like a question. 

The look on Lachlan's face says it all. He is ecstatic. It appears Lachy has an epiphany as he becomes super excited. 

" Oh my god !" He yells.

" Papa loves Louis."  He claps and Harry wants to die. He freezes in fear as Louis looks at Harry utterly confused and scared of how this conversation is going to proceed. 

" Lachy no... I mean.. ...I.." 

Harry is dying, he is sure of it. The air is quickly being sucked out of his lungs. He doesn't have to worry much longer because Lachlan wasn't finished. 

" You kissed, you kissed!!!  That also means Louis loves papa. Yayyyyyyyy" 

Fucking hell.

The panic subsides when Harry notices Louis's coy smile, his cheeks becoming slightly pink and flushed. 

" Lachlan.... that's not ..that's not how it works darling." Louis offers trying to relieve Harry of his undeniable nervousness.

Lachlan stops, confused at his words. 

" But......" he pauses, while he continues to muster out his sentence.

"But papa kisses me when he tells me he loves me. Every night Louis, every night he does!!" 
Lachlan yells like he is pleading his case and Louis's heart is doing all sorts of backflips at the idea that Lachlan seemingly would accept him and Harry being together.

Harry, Louis, and Lachlan all sit there, silent as they stare each other down. The density of the room becoming thick as Lachlan decides to let it go, turning around and walking off into the other room but not before they hear him mumble something along the lines of 

' 
In this house, we kiss people we love' 

Louis takes it upon himself to rise off the lounge, smiling at Harry as he stretches. 

" Ummm. Cuppa tea? " he suggests evading the current situation. 

Harry laughs, "Something stronger I think." 

Harry watches Louis enter on through to the kitchen, adoring the way Louis now after several months knows where everything is and isn't shy to help himself. In fact, Harry finds the vision in front of him so endearing he wishes it was an everyday occurrence and almost finds the suggestion slipping off his tongue. 

The truth is, is that our finest moments in life, are most likely to occur when we are feeling nervous, uncomfortable, and awkward. It's in these times propelled by our discomfort, that we become brave enough to step out of our comfort zone.

Harry quietly lets out a breath of air. His heart increases as he sets his mind to say it. When Louis reaches up into the top shelf, raising up on his tippy toes to collect the mugs, Harry does it. He walks up behind Louis and softly places his hands on each side of Louis's waist, making Louis become still, the unexpected contact creating goosebumps all over. Harry is so close to Louis's body, he can tell by the way Louis's back is rising faster with each breath, that he too is nervous. 

Harry slowly turns Louis around, blue eyes meeting green once more. Harry moves closer and closer until his lips are dangling only inches apart. He leans his head forward resting his forehead to Lou's. 

" He isn't really wrong you know." 

Louis is becoming intoxicated by Harry's strong dominance, his stance and tight hold on his waist making him very tight in his jeans, words fighting to escape his mouth with extreme difficulty. 

" What do you mean?" Louis's words shaky as Harry hears him gulp. 

Harry licks his lips, scared that at any given moment he may endure a heart attack if he doesn't get his nerves under control. 

Louis feels the heat. 

Heat from Harry's mouth, every exhale sweeping his own lips, and his jeans, from his bloody jeans... fucking hell, it's embarrassing and he prays to God Harry doesn't get any closer because his body will betray and expose him.

With no turning back, Harry closes the gap. It's slow, painfully slow. The plushness of Harry's lips sending Louis into a daze. Louis doesn't fight Harry in letting him explore his mouth, every drop of saliva, every taste, every gentle bite sending shots of electricity throughout them. It may have been slow but it was 100% personal, passionate and intense. The two now having finally taken a kiss with ease, slower, captivating the tenderness. 

" That we kiss....who we love"

Louis is starting to wonder if Lachy was really onto something about their ears not working because did Harry really just imply what he thought he said?

Harry covers the anxious wait by smirking, which sets Louis into an unprecedented motion. He grabs the back of Harry's hair, the action gaining a small moan as he smoothly but ever so lightly thrusts his hips, his hard length sliding against Harry's thigh. 

The two men are soon reminded they are not alone when they freeze when they hear footsteps re-entering the kitchen. Their eyes are locked in an intense stare of need. They don't move, still entirely focused on this new display of affection, neither wanting it to end. They snap out of it when they hear Lachlan's sassiness.

" See !! Love each other." 

The words are shouted before tiny footsteps retract off into the distance causing a very embarrassing laugh to be emitted from both parties. 

Harry runs his hand across Louis's abdomen down his pelvis taking hold of him firmly into his hand. 

" Later, I promise." 

Louis's breath hitches as Harry plants another passionate kiss before letting go.

" So where's that cuppa of tea?"

************

Climbing into bed tonight, Louis sits up against the headboard scrolling his socials as he awaits Harry to exit the shower. He opens up his gallery, the silly picture they took today making him smile. 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/b058737ba3a8cc071822696335db3b0450777168/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f4730636b723738414871673353673d3d2d313238383434313835372e313732623635663438353463353939653130363336323236393032362e6a7067)

There are so many emotions flowing through him, as he stares, fixated on Harry's dimples in the photo. He believes with his whole heart that to him, being with Harry isn't just about dates and holding hands. It's about accepting each other's awkwardness, weirdness, and flaws. It's about realizing that being together, means you can truly be yourself, free from any judgment. It's about looking into the soul of an imperfect person and thinking they're perfect. 

More importantly, being with Harry is certainly not just about Lachlan anymore.

Harry emerges from the bathroom minutes later, his hair wet, drops of water running down his body, and a devious grin upon his face as he approaches the bed. Louis loses all train of thought as Harry drops the towel from around his waist, ascending his way up the bed. 

He grabs hold of Louis's ankles firmly yanking him downwards to lie flat against the mattress. Harry begins kissing at his ankles, moving slowly, stopping at his knee, where he places several soft kisses. He licks a long stripe up his thigh, listening to Louis's soft whimpers. 

He looks up to notice Louis biting his fist trying to be quiet. Harry uses this time to rip his briefs down, Louis's cock bouncing free, hard, and ready to go. Louis grabs the bottom of his shirt immediately pulling it down trying to cover his abdomen. 

" H, the light." 

Harry doesn't like the thought that maybe Louis is self-conscious about his body. He opens his mouth to try and reassure him but stops when he sees the way Louis's eyes are pleading with him. He leans over turning off the bedside lamp, Louis still nervous about what Harry's lips may find. With the room now dark, he rolls over onto his stomach which surprises Harry. 
Using his hand he caresses Louis's back as he begins his quest to taste every inch of skin he can find. 

With Harry hovering over him, Louis turns his head slightly allowing Harry to attack his neck. Harry's lips graze Louis's ear as he seductively bites into his earlobe emitting a low moan from Louis who is trying his best not to wake his sleeping son who is only down the hall. Harry whispers into Louis's face who he pulls around, his finger grasping Louis's chin. 

" Has anyone ever told you, just how beautiful you are?" 

Louis is grateful that the room is near black, the whiteness from the moon peering in from behind the curtains providing the only source of light, glad that Harry cannot bare witness to the small tear that steadily slides down his cheek, because no, no-one has never told him that so intimately before and he totally hates himself for thinking of Marcus in this moment. Marcus who only ever called him a whore and a slut whenever they were between the sheets. 

He shakes the thought immediately as Harry uses his legs to push Louis's legs apart, gripping the sheets when he feels Harry's wet lips circle around his hole sending his entire body into orbit. 

" Harry please, I'm leaking so bad, I need you in me please." Louis's cock is throbbing in pain, in need of a release as he gently thrusts down into the mattress, Harry's weight above him, fighting the urge to cum prematurely.  

Harry doesn't respond instead pushing his tongue past the rim into the warmthness of Louis's tight walls. Maneuvering his tongue in every direction possible he retracts his tongue, biting and sucking around his entrance and Harry himself is close to losing his load. 

The Flirting, the touches, the dirty banter, the passion, everything from the last couple of months has brought them here, to this very moment. The neediness, the want, and the desire are all too much to deny any longer and both men don't care they are not thinking clearly, both losing control of one's self. 

" Harry! Fucking hell, please" 

Harry understands the urgency because he too is ready to spill. Harry moves off slightly when Louis grabs hold of his leg keeping him in place. 

" There's no time for that babe, just C'Mon already." 

Louis can sense Harry is apprehensive about no prep as Harry stills. Louis is going to fucking die any moment if Harry doesn't proceed. Louis looks at the illuminated clock on the table and smirks. 

" Harry get me in now, you can't say no to me" 

Harry glances seeing it's 11.56 pm. 

"That's cheating Tomlinson, but your wish is my command." 

That's the moment it all falls apart.
It's fast, it's messy, it's rushed. 
Harry tugs himself a few times quickly collecting the pre-cum that is pooling around his tip and wipes Louis's entrance hoping it at least provides a small amount of lubrication. 

He grabs Louis by the hips lifting him to his knees, spreading his ass cheeks wide apart, his nails digging in before he aligns himself and pushes in. Louis starts moaning, too loud in fact and Harry is worried about a certain young fella waking up. Using one hand, he wraps it around Louis's head covering his mouth as he begins to thrust in and out at a fast pace. Louis has entered a state of blissfulness he has never experienced before.  

They are too distracted.
Too distracted to think with their brains. 

Louis comes untouched as he pushes backwards harder on Harry's dick. Harry lets go of his mouth, his rhythm building faster as he uses Louis's hips to stay upright. Harry explodes, there is no way to sugarcoat it. He hasn't released so much in so long. He pushes in hard and deep, cum flowing out beside his cock that he has yet to pull out, wanting to savor this moment they have waited for, for so long. 

Harry collapses down beside him, panting, waiting for his breathing to subside. Louis rolls over to face him. 

" Fuck Lou, I'm so sorry." 

Louis was definitely not expecting to hear those words. 

" For what, what do you mean?"

Harry wipes Louis's sweaty hair from out of his eyes, Louis gently stroking Harry's arm. 

" For..oh my god this is embarrassing, for ending so quick. I normally last a lot longer I promise, it's just...you have had me horny all day and I've wanted you for so long and " 

" Harry stop. It's ok. Really. We both knew this first time wasn't going to last long." 

They both laugh quietly and Harry moves, disappearing and reappearing with a warm towel.

" You want me too, or ?"

" I will" 

Harry throws him the towel to clean himself. 

When they are finally cleaned and ready for sleep when all is quiet, Louis feels Harry's large hand wrap around his waist. 

The last thing Harry thinks about before dozing off, is how much he wants to marry this amazing blue-eyed man one day, still in denial about why he has been so lucky to have had Louis enter his life. 

While Louis, well he thanks the lord. What for? For allowing an angel like Harry to give him a chance, a chance to brighten his world in each and every possible way. Louis also relaxes, knowing he successfully avoided Harry feeling or seeing his cesarean scar.

If only they could understand each other's thoughts.

It was a nice sentiment with what both men were thinking, happy and in love, in the most unexpected although beautiful way....but in reality.....they both should have been concerned with the fact they had not been very careful. 

They should, in fact, be very worried about the bucket load of sperm currently swimming inside of Louis, on its way....for a very successful fertilization.

'The success and happiness of your future depends on how you adapt to the present. Sometimes, especially when life throws us some 'out of the blue' circumstances, the ones that have the power to break us, we have to sit back and remember that how we react to such extremities is what shapes our future.... For the good or the bad.' 

After all, if you want the rainbow, you first must endure the rain.
  

************

A/N 

Sorry for the bad smut, I wasn't in the mood to write it but it was needed to be done for the timeline
. 

**
Ok everyone LISTEN UP !!!

**

THE NEXT CHAPTER IS THE ONE YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR !!!!!!! 

HARRY WILL DISCOVER THE TRUTH. LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS HERE ON HOW YOU THINK HARRY IS GOING TO FIND OUT. I CAN ALREADY TELL YOU NOW, YOU WON'T GUESS IT. 

hahaha 

♡♡♡

I've

noticed the chapter reads going down every week. Is everyone bored of this fic? Should 

I

maybe move on to my other fics??I dunno. I love this fic and 

it's

all planned out. 

It's

about to get more complicated but ....argh... I'm having a hard week. 😕

😭

# Chapter 12 - Broken

A/N 

Don't

lie, who got excited when they saw the update hahaha.

TW:

If you are easily triggered by child separation, please read with caution
.

Also a very small BJ scene.

Hope you enjoy 

the

chapter. Some of you may need a tissue. I 

didn't

want to make

the reveal over the top and too unrealistic. Hope it satisfies you. 

**************


'
Christmas is not just an external event, it is a piece of 

one's

home, that some carry in 

one's

own heart'

Like every other year, Christmas is drawing near at an incredible pace. The influx of people in the malls, the increase in traffic, the cringy carols, the holidays are not normally Louis' favourite time of the year. There are too many memories, ones he would rather forget involving his family that has had him loathing the holidays ever since, including his own birthday. 

He hasn't mentioned to Harry that the 24th of December not only represents Christmas eve but his birthday as well. He hasn't celebrated the occasion in over 7 years and he doesn't plan to anytime soon.

Kevin is closing up shop as he plans to travel interstate to spend some much needed time with his loved ones. There's only 1 week left until the guy in the big red suit arrives and Kevin has kindly given Louis two weeks off. 

Harry was ecstatic when he received the news, immediately insisting that he spend the entire time in Holmes Chapel. The week before and the week after Christmas, with Louis intending on arriving back in London just after New Year's Eve.

Louis is becoming hopeful that this year, it isn't going to matter what is or isn't under his tiny store brought tree from Target, what is going to matter, is who will all be gathered together around one.

It's been a true awakening ' living' in Harry's house for the last 6 days. Learning new traits about each other has been fairly fascinating, with Harry being particularly intrigued with the way Louis conducts his daily routines. 

If you were to ask Harry about Louis' morning schedule he would happily explain it in full detail. From always yawing the moment he opens his eyes, to staying in bed as long as he can when he needs to pee because he doesn't want to get cold going to the bathroom. He could tell you about the way Louis always rushes to clean his teeth, never brushing for longer than a minute. He would also tell you that Louis wets his hands and wipes them through his hair to make it damp, shaking his head and letting his strands fall to where ever they wish to land but within 5 minutes, Louis ALWAYS swipes it to the side of his face, THAT he can guarantee every time. The list could go on and on and while Louis also had picked up on the said things about Harry, life at the Styles household had become extremely domesticated. 

Anne has provided the boys with a very strict list of food items she needs to be prepared for tomorrow's Christmas lunch. Louis would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous, he likes Anne he truly does. It's the other members of the family he hasn't met yet that scares him. 

It's the morning of Christmas eve and Harry has already spent the early hours, prepping chickens and turkeys. He is hoping to finish off the deserts later this afternoon as they are genuinely quick and on the easier side.

" Is that him?" Lachlan yells as Louis jogs alongside him as they race towards the front door when they hear the doorbell. 

" Uncle Nialllll" 

Niall nearly drops his keys and iced coffee from out of his hands as Lachlan jumps into his arms unexpectantly. 

" Let's go, let's go!!!" Lachlan cheers.

Niall had asked, no demanded, that Harry allow him to take Lachlan to the winter wonderland exhibition that had been set up on the outskirt of town. When Lachlan had overheard that, there was no saying 'no' as the boy had screamed and jumped with joy.

" Sounds like you are all ready to go then buddy huh." 

Lachlan shouts an extremely loud 
' Goodbye papa' to Harry who is currently fist deep stuffing a Turkey.

Niall looks at Louis and grins.

" Ok, out with it. What did Harry tell you to tell me before we leave?" 

Louis is shocked because how the fuck did he know that? 

" No, let me guess." Niall clears his throat. 

" Drive safely, keep your eyes on Lachlan at all times, don't feed him too many sweets, make sure he keeps his sweater on even if he tries to persuade you otherwise, and DONT... LET...LACHLAN...HURT... HIMSELF" he says dragging out the last one slowly. 

" How did you-" 

" Because it's the same god dam speech every year." 

Louis laughs as Niall rattles his keys in front of Lachlan's eyes. 

" Let's take off quick and spin the wheels, really freak papa out, what do you reckon?" 

Lachlan waves his fists, thrilled at the idea.

" Let's do it." 

Louis watches them walk out the door and as he turns to head back to help Harry in the kitchen, he bares a grin. He can't help but be secretly happy that he himself.....doesn't appear to be the only one corrupting Lachlan around here. 

Louis being the hopeless chef he is feels absolutely useless as Harry frolics around from one thing to another.

Louis knows it's definitely not the right time. 
NOT THE RIGHT TIME AT ALL.
but Harry's hands are kneading into some sort of doughy thing while his tongue is resting in the corner of his mouth as he concentrates. It shouldn't look as hot as it does but fucking hell, with no one around Louis' dick, is begging for some attention.

Walking over positioning himself in between the counter and Harry, with no gap now between them. Harry smiles when he notices how Louis looks so devious. 

" And what do I owe this pleasure, Mr Tomlinson?"

Harry unknowingly makes the mistake of sucking off the butter that was stuck on his index finger, sending Louis' dick to start pulsing. 

" Actually, the pleasure is all mine." 

Louis drops to his knees.

It's going to take Louis a long time to get over how big Harry is because every time he lets Harry's cock spring free he still manages to gasp. 

There's no wasting any time, Louis deciding to skip the teasing part and going straight to deep throat because Harry became hard the moment he got so close to those tantalizing eyes.

Louis is licking and sucking hard in a figure eight and Harry is set off into space, Louis feeling the slight tilt of Harry's hips knowing exactly what he wants. Louis stops and looks up at Harry who is biting his lip. 

" Do it." Louis says and Harry understands exactly what he is referring to. 

He starts to fuck his mouth, slowly at first building up and up, Harry becoming weak at the knees as his high approaches. He reaches out to grab hold of the bench as he watches Louis' eyes start to water.

' Fuck' he hisses as Louis pulls back licking his tongue right over the sensitive tip. Harry grabs his head with one hand and slams right back into his mouth almost losing his footing, his other hand clasping at the counter. Unfortunately for Harry, his arm collides with the Turkey sending it off the edge of the bench straight to the ground. The Loud bang almost makes Louis stop but he doesn't because he feels Harry start to tremble just as he releases his cum straight down his throat.

Louis has cum in his pants and stands up laughing as he looks down at the wet patch while Harry pulls up his jeans.

" You do realize that you are a total distraction." Harry smirks.

" Yes, that I can agree on, so...I'm just gonna go change and head to the shops. I still need to buy the little lad his present." 

Harry nods as he finishes zipping his pants just as they hear Anne.

" Where are you boys, hope you don't mind me popping by, I just need a word, it will only take a minute." 

" Fuck" 
Louis uses his hands to cover his region as Harry laughs nervously. Louis starts to exit the kitchen just as Anne enters. 

" Anne"

" Louis"

Louis only makes it to the stairs before he has to cover his mouth as to not laugh because he hears Anne squeal.

" Why the bloody hell is the Turkey on the floor?" 

****************

Buying for Harry is proving to be difficult. Already he has gone to four different stores and nothing seems good enough. What do you buy for someone who already has everything? Whatever he picks up seems so casual, too on-trend, too bland. The jewelry shop is his last hope. There are chains, watches, rings you name it, they had it. When the lady asks if he needs help Louis thanks her immensely. After 20 minutes of delving through every cabinet, still not finding what he was looking for, the lady asks if she can suggest something different. 

When he has happily paid the lovely cashier, the present already wrapped and placed in a nice little black bag, Louis heads to the other side of the mall knowing exactly where he needs to go now.

' Toys R Us' 

**************

Harry opens the oven door, the smell of freshly baked gingerbread suffocating his nostrils. 

'Fuck' he hisses as his hand grazes the hot tray. He can already tell by the strong scent of ginger that he has ruined them, his mind elsewhere as he prepared the ingredients. He has been in deep thought about Louis' Christmas present. For the last few weeks, it was all that consumed him. 

He weighed the pros and cons, even consulting the lads, worried he was maybe moving too fast. The gift he wished to so desperately give him, is now a certainty as he smiles thinking about how right it feels, even if he only met him 3 months ago. Often intuition will direct and guide you, so if something feels right, it probably is.
The last few days together confirms what he already knew, it was the right gift, and even as nervous as he feels, he just hopes Louis accepts it. 

Speaking of, Louis still hasn't arrived home yet, having only left just over an hour ago. Not knowing how much more free time he has left before everyone returns he makes it his mission to wrap his gift. He heads upstairs collecting the box, glue, bow, and a couple of other necessities that he needs. 

Sitting down on the bedroom floor, he carefully glues the bow to the box and places the present inside, his stomach knotting at the thought of how Louis might react. While waiting for it to dry, he picks up the pen and paper and tries his best to write as neatly as he can, wanting to add a cute little note. 

The whole process doesn't take very long and within 10 minutes he is happy with what he has produced and if he can't contain the smile on his face, then no one needs to know.
When bearing presents, some gifts are often big, while others may be rather small, but the best ones, are the ones that come from the heart, they are the most precious of them all.

**************

Tooting the horn as he pulls up out front, trying to gain Harry's attention needing his muscles once again, Harry's eyes widen when he sees what is sitting in the back seat of the car. 

" NO absolutely not, take that back. No, not happening Lou, no way. Nope, not on my watch!" 

Louis ignores Harry and continues to try and slide it out. It's a lot heavier than it looks. 

" Harry it's fine." 

" He is too small for that. He is gonna injure himself, cue the broken bones." 

" If having the time of his life is what you call 'injuring himself' then yes Harry, he is going to hurt himself" Louis sass's back. 

Now that it's been pulled out of the car, Harry gives it a full look over. Louis knew Harry was going to have a heart attack the minute he saw it, secretly that is why he had bought it. It also took all of Louis' remaining money. 

" That's a death trap" 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/fc10041823f49b79941c2ebcf36c5d718a67cd6a/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f48424172435068495164734a62773d3d2d313239303332323233352e313732636161623039343338383231373432353232363330313834322e6a7067)

" Harry, he will be OK, he is going to flip out about it."

Harry hums before carrying the cart around to the back of the house. 

" Holy shit!" Louis screeches as he sees what Harry has done since he left. 

"Yeah well, I thought I might as well put it up today. I don't want to be fucking around with it tomorrow trying to put it together while everyone's here" 

Louis fast walks over to explore it.

" Shit this is awesome."

Harry scoffs as he grins

" And safer" 

Louis starts to take off his shoes and Harry knows too well he isn't going to be able to stop the big kid. 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/4234d7b0aa4f1bb08889030c903fb5e39573e2b7/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f4e64596d4434744b73762d726b413d3d2d313239303332323233352e313732636162396364343935303361313535363434333638303632392e6a7067)

" How am I going to hide it until tomorrow?" 

Louis thinks as he lays down on his stomach, ready to test the slide. 

" Just keep him inside and I dunno, draw all the blinds so he can't see outside ???" 

It's not the greatest plan but it's all they've got. 

*************

It's an hour later when Niall sends Harry a text letting him know they were on their way home. 

Louis is currently upstairs holding Harry's gift in his hand running his fingers along the edges as he paces the room while he contemplates.
He was told a few days ago by Anne that the exchanging of gifts was done as a group on Christmas day. Louis hates that idea. He doesn't want to be 
'on show' when he hands Harry the present, how terribly embarrassing it would be. It's nothing but an added extra thing to worry about when he is already so nervous as it is.

What's one day? 
He says to himself out loud. 

He decides that Harry can have the gift now, there's no way he is doing it tomorrow. Harry's ears must be burning as he conveniently enters the room. 

" I was just gonna come find you." 

Harry pecks his lips.

" I'm all yours then." 

It takes Harry approximately 3 seconds to spot the gift bag. 

" Ooh is that mine? Let me peek?" Harry jokes, but instead, Harry is met with the gift bag being handed to him. 

" Lou I was kidding, I can wait one more night." He laughs.

" Actually, I was kind of hoping to avoid the whole spectacle tomorrow and give it to you now. I just kind of feel weird about it you know, it's our first Christmas and I don't want anyone -" 

" Babe, I get it. It's alright." 

Harry resembles a child as he opens the bag enthusiastically, lifting out what appears to be two small bands. 

" Lou, what is this?" 

Louis is hoping Harry doesn't think he is an idiot. Maybe he should have just chosen some AirPods or a juicer. The thought of Harry thinking this is silly is making Louis anxious, so he takes a deep breath and explains what they are. 

" As you can see, there are two. One for you and one for me. You see this little round button on top? Whenever we are apart, if one of us is missing the other or can't stop thinking about the other, all we need to do is press the button and the other person's band vibrates, letting us know that you are missed and on their mind. They are called bond bands. I just thought as we live so far away, it was ideal for us, I just liked the sentiment. We have to download the app first to use it and... I dunno, if you think it's too -" 

Louis is interrupted when Harry's lips meet his own. 

" You are really the sweetest man alive. This is perfect Lou, so incredibly perfect." He looks down at the bands and picks up the silver one. 

" Is that what I think it is?" 

Louis delicately blushes. 

" Yeah, it is. You always say to me that I am the sun to your moon so when I saw these, it just felt right. Oh God, it's too much isn't it, it's hella cheesy" 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/2a8dfd95afbdd51ac8edc7e85393a27cf6f28324/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f724c74486c574d75465a635a73773d3d2d313239303332323233352e313732636166336430343630613037623332313139363036323635302e6a7067)

However Harry doesn't laugh nor make a sound, he simply wipes away a tear that has casually strolled down his cheek. It's right at this moment, he thinks back to his own gift for Lou and feels a huge force of happiness plummet straight to his heart when he realizes that they are both starting to picture their lives together, which means his gift for Louis .....was totally meant to be. He lunges forward to squeeze him tightly. 

Harry doesn't hug for too long though, he is already downloading the app to sync them. Within a short 10 minutes, Louis feels his wrist vibrate as Harry so it seems, misses him already......even when they are still in the same room.

************* 

When Lachlan returns soon after, Louis listens with care, to everything that Lachlan talks about. His tiny mouth spills out 100 words a minute as he tells the tales of the day's adventures with Niall. Louis learns that Lachlan got to experience ice sculpting, snow cones, snowball fights, and took photos with 'Olaf'. 

It's not for another hour until Lachy finally changes the subject.

" You are still coming to my first game, right? It's 5 days after Santa comes, papa told me so." 

Lachlan's first game is merely days after Christmas but luckily enough it's before he has to return home. 

" I wouldn't miss it for the world." 

Lachlan pouts a little making Louis a tad worried. 

" Hey what's that look for? What's the matter?" 

" What if I miss a goal, everyone will hate me. I might not be good like everyone else. I'm scared Louis." 

It breaks Louis' heart to hear the lack of self-confidence. 

He reassures him quickly that no matter what happens on the day, along with Papa, he too will be extremely proud of him either way. 

*************

Trying to get Lachlan to sleep tonight is proving to be a nightmare, which seems ridiculous considering the busy day he has had. Louis is finding it endearing though, listening to the way he is praying that he has been good enough for Santa to arrive and singing carols as he runs around the house. It's a joyous occasion in his life that Louis had never expected to participate in, a Christmas experience with his own flesh and blood. To Louis, this alone was the best gift he could ever receive. He would be lying if he too wasn't just as excited about tomorrow morning as Lachlan himself. 

Harry is starting to panic in the kitchen, that Louis can tell by the way he is rushing about, sighing, and getting frustrated every time Lachlan distracts him by calling his name. There are still a couple of desserts to be prepared for tomorrow and getting Lachlan to settle shouldn't be an added task for Harry to worry about.

" would you like me to?" 

Louis asks as he wraps his hands around Harry's waist cuddling into his back, the moment Lachlan runs in asking '
How much longer til Santa comes?' 

Blowing out a puff of air, he looks to Lachlan, who even though has sleepy black rings under his eyelids still looks too excited to sleep. 

" Please" 

Harry replies knowing exactly what Louis was implying. Louis picks Lachlan up, swinging him upside down holding him by his waist, his head dangling towards the ground. 

" Right, bedtime for you, or I will ring Santa and tell him Lachlan Styles doesnt live here anymore"

Lachlan laughs as Harry shakes his head, his parental instinct hating the 'dangerous' action.

Lachlan stops laughing as Louis places his feet firmly back on the ground. However, instead of retreating upstairs, Lachy falls to the ground, his hand's clasped together as though he was praying. 

" No No No, don't do that please" he begs.

Louis freaks out a little and looks to Harry, scared at how Lachlan took him so seriously as he pouts.

" I would never, no sweetheart I was kidding, of course, Santa is coming. " 

Louis turns away looking for Lachlan's water bottle to take upstairs as Lachlan takes the minute to look up at his Papa sending a smile and a wink. 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/a4498a118c0e6c4be508d7ceb2448b0025f03ec6/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f47575142394e31305276723059513d3d2d313239303332323233352e313732626638373164623765613764633933373431313936353733382e6a7067)

Harry is cursing him internally realizing their little talk the other week hadn't sunk in, knowing what the little boy had just done. He can't help but mentally take a photographic memory of how cute he looked in his Christmas PJs, the tree sparkling in the background. Harry's heart swells with love because this year as he fondly eyes both Lachlan and Louis.... he realizes it's the best Christmas he has ever had. 

He watches the pair in awe as they proceed hand in hand towards the staircase. He can't help but giggle when he hears the faint voice of his son off in the distance.

" Wow Louis, I can't believe you have Santa's phone number" 

**************** 

Lachlan deliberately takes his time on selecting a book from his shelf, trying to avoid the inevitable of going to sleep. Jumping into bed, Louis sits down beside him tucking his blanket in, making the small boy all warm and snug.

" The grinch who stole Christmas" 

Louis says reading the title as Lachlan points to the grinch trying to cover up his mouth as he gently giggles.

" Why is he green?"

Louis knows he shouldn't but he is a big kid at heart still and couldn't resist the urge. 

" Because" Louis screws up his nose in disgust.
" He eats all his green vegetables" 

Louis tries to hold back a laugh as Lachlan's mouth drops wide open. 

" Oh no, Louis I eat all my greens. I'm going to turn green!!! I don't want to be green. I'm not eating my broccoli and beans anymore!!! " 

Louis can already hear Harry scorning him in his mind. 

" I was joking silly. Green vegetables DO NOT turn you green I promise." 

Going by the look on his face, Lachlan doesn't seem too convinced but continues on. 

" What's this story about Louis?" 

He doesn't think before he speaks and answers ruthfully. 

" The green man ruins Christmas by stealing all the kid's presents" 

He looks straight to Lachlan now realizing that was probably not the best thing he could have said as his little excited boy goes to bed on Christmas eve. 

" On second thoughts, let's read something else."

He doesn't choose a book, he literally just grabs the first one his finger lands on. 

" Ahhh this is better, you will like this one. 
' The night before Christmas' " 

Lachlan is yawing by the time Louis concludes the story. He stares at Lachlan and smiles as he caresses his little cheek. 

" You ok Louis?"

Lachlan assumed something was wrong as Louis stared at him with so much admiration, knowing nothing in this world could take this moment away from him, the wholesomeness that this first Christmas with his son was showering him with.

" The best I've ever been darling. It's time for bed now ok." 

Louis moves slightly and Lachlan grabs his arm stopping him. 

" The poem, Louis."

He takes a deep breath and nods '
ok
'

Pushing the hair out of Lachlan's face he gives him a kiss on the forehead first. 

He starts the poem, he knows too well. 

✨️
Among the stars, a night so clear. 

If I had seen your face, I'd have shed a tear.
✨️

The poem hurts him to voice it, here and in the flesh from his direct lips to Lachlan's own ears, the way it had been intended from the very beginning. The words he wrote the day of delivery, the same poem that he had to re-write over and over because his tears continuously fell ruining the paper. The same exact poem that sucked any remaining life out of Louis because his heart was destroyed, then, now, and forever.

Meanwhile back in the kitchen, Harry makes the decision.
He can't wait to give Louis his present any longer, seemingly fair now since Louis had given him his earlier on. He wipes his hands and throws the tea towel down on the counter directly heading upstairs. Without intention, he goes unnoticed quietly as he enters his own bedroom collecting the box before stopping at Lachlan's door, just in time to hear Louis finish 'the poem' 

✨️
Wherever life may take you,

Know this to be true.

You will never travel alone my love, 

As my prayers & thoughts are always right there with you.

✨ 

Louis manages to get through the entire poem with only a small build-up of tears as he looks to Lachlan who is now fast asleep, the little sound of snores making Louis' heart flutter. 

Louis isn't aware that he is about to make one HUGE mistake.

Harry pulls himself back, ultimately shielding himself outside the door, his smile dropping immediately. His head falls back against the wall as he finds himself sliding down towards the floor, his eyes swelling as he clutches at his chest, in disbelief of what he is hearing as Louis continues to speak.

✨️

A 

gift

of love, a bundle of joy,

I

bring to you, this beautiful boy. 

Take good care of him he is precious and new, 

as I leave him in the loving protection of you. 

I hope he brings you happiness, 

the kind you will always treasure.

I hope he fills your life with 

sunshine

, and love beyond all measure.

I'm

blessing you with a wonderful son, 

watch him play and grow each day. Cherish and look after him,

I

beg in each and every way. 

I hope he fills your heart with laughter,

Bringing many proud moments too.

So enjoy your brand new baby,

It's

a magical time for you.

Please kiss him for me when you can, 

If that is truly OK,


Hold him tight and 

snuggle

him,

For I'm 

missing

him each day.

Of all the special

gifts

in life,

however great or small,

To have had him as my son,

Was the greatest gift of all. 

✨️ 

Harry can't breathe. 

He tries to swallow but he can't as he covers his mouth with his hand as he silently chokes, air being sucked right from his lungs as he begins to hyperventilate. Right now, his entire body is frozen, his legs almost caving in on him as the pressure of great anguish, and heartache flow throughout his veins. 

He isn't sure whether it's anger, sadness, shock, betrayal, or anything else in between.

All he does know...

Is that Louis shouldn't know that part of the poem. The one he has just recited so well with so much tenderness and sincerity.

Because Harry...

Harry has NEVER told Lachlan that part and he most definitely has NOT ever told Louis.

It hits him hard. 
The realization that Louis could only know that poem if he had written it himself, the poem the biological carrier had left the adoptive parent...

Harry
. 

With wobbly legs, he quickly wipes away the pile of water that is pooling in his eyes, as his heart races in an attempt to quickly return downstairs.

Life is full of surprises and most often, the majority of those are not pleasant. 
When your body goes into shock, your mind sends powerful messages to all the various glands and secretions around the body. It just happens and you can not simply stop it, no matter how hard you try or want to. There are many stages of shock but at the present, Harry is currently swinging between 
panic, numbness, denial, and 

disassociation

.

He throws the box into the cupboard drawer swiftly as he hears Louis approaching. 

'" Finally, he is out cold. What's left to make? Man, I have a killer headache." 

Louis approaches Harry's side of the bench and he turns away placing some dirty dishes into the sink. Louis doesn't find it strange at first, knowing how busy and stressed out he is for tomorrow. Harry keeps his back turned as he mumbles

" Go to bed if you have a headache, it's going to be a big day for you tomorrow." 

There's something in the way Harry stiffens, his tone reflecting some animosity that Louis doesn't recognize. 

" H, you ok?" 
With a hand to Harry's lower back, he still doesn't move.

" Please Louis, JUST GO TO BED." 
Louis has no idea why Harry had shouted the last part but the last thing he wants to do is piss Harry off on Christmas Eve. 

" Fine." 

Louis doesn't push it any further, he feels a little confused but his head is pounding, and really needs to get some sleep, so fighting unnecessarily is not something he wishes to engage in. 

The moment Harry is alone, he crouches over the sink, becoming severely nauseous as his head starts to spin. He doesn't know what to do, how to feel, what to say, or what to think. He sits at the kitchen table for what must have been hours, staring blankly into space, his mind in overdrive. 

' 
Lachlan is Louis' son'

' Louis deceived me
'
' 
Louis gave Lachlan away'

' How did he know how to find us?'

Questions, so many fucking questions are making his head nearly explode. He eventually finds the energy to clean the kitchen and decides to try and retire to bed around 1.32 am. It's no surprise that he feels himself being pulled towards Lachlan's room. He sneaks quietly over, standing there next to his bed. His lip quivers as he stares at his precious boy as he bends down to kiss his forehead. 

He can see it now. All of it. 
The hair, the nose, the same characteristics, same humor, same eyes, SAME FUCKING EYES!! 
Harry runs a hand through his hair, feeling frustrated for being blinded, blinded by fucking love of all things. He curses himself for being so stupid, and he has to leave the room before he breaks down and accidentally wakes him. 

His own bedroom door is open and he can't seem to make his feet enter as he stands there watching a sleeping Louis who is curled up comfortably in his bed.

He sighs.

Removing his clothes down to his briefs he crawls into his side of the bed and does something he didn't expect to do. Louis had stirred at the dip of the bed but the moment he feels Harry's hand wrap around his waist he settles straight back off to sleep. 

You see, the problem that lies with Harry is not the fact that Louis is Lachlan's daddy. It's the deceitfulness and lies since the beginning, the fact he no longer feels like he can trust Louis and without trust, all else fails.
One lie is all it can take for someone to lose their entire trust in you. In life, no matter what the circumstance, you should always be upfront, always be real, and always.......tell the truth. 
A single lie once discovered, is enough for one to create doubt in every truth. 

He holds Louis tight squeezing him gently, deeply breathing in the scent of lavender he had quickly grown accustomed to. He finds that his eyes are in a world of their own, searching every part of Louis' body taking his time to make a mental note of every single detail. Every curve, every freckle, every hair, every fine line. He pushes his lips to the back of his neck, letting his lips stay pressed for what seemed like an eternity, not wanting to forget the feeling of his soft flawless skin. He feels Louis tighten his grip on his hand as he subconsciously reacts to the kiss, even though he is fast asleep. 

Harry tries over and over again to close his eyes but his brain won't switch off. He lays there quietly and still, the words leaving Louis' mouth earlier replaying consistently on repeat. As he starts to ponder everything, a shift in emotion changes. The hurt and sadness are wearing off as the anger starts to set in. A new stage of shock now 'unlocked'. 

He's starting to feel stupid as he reminisces about the last 3 months. The clues were all there, he was just too naive and stupidly love-struck to put it all together. 

It all makes sense.
The awkward behaviour he had shown the first time they met. The way he up and left sometimes, the 28 on his guernsey, bumping into Mel he now realizes she knew which makes him angrier. He thinks about Niall and zayn's comment, everything is clicking over. 

For hours he has just laid there letting himself get more and more worked up by the minute, a ticking time bomb if you will. When he glances at the clock and sees that it reads 5.07 am he gives up and slowly gets out of bed.

Louis somehow wakes himself at 5.45 am, opening his eyes when he felt the sheet beside him was cold, with no Harry in sight. He feels much better this morning, his headache now subsided. He pulls on his sweatpants and jumper, it's Christmas morning and he cannot wait to see what the day has in store. 

When he passes the lounge room he stops and stares grinning from ear to ear as he witnesses how beautiful it all looks. Harry has turned on the lights on the tree which is now illuminating the entire room as the presents all sit pretty and neatly underneath. He heads to the kitchen assuming Harry is paranoid about not having the food ready. So he isn't surprised to find him there, standing still leaning his back against the counter. What does surprise him, is that he is not cooking but is rather supporting a large glass of red wine in one hand and a small box in the other that he is intensely staring at. 

Before he makes his presence known he admires the way Harry looks this morning. His long hair has been pulled up into a bun, looking all warm in Adidas tracksuit pants and a ridiculous looking Christmas cardigan but to Louis, he still looks perfect. 

" Merry Christmas, love"

Harry doesn't flinch at Louis, who is still situated across the room. He doesn't even lift his head. He does however drop the box down into the bin beside him. 

Louis knows something isn't right, the atmosphere is so cold.
Stressed still? 
Not enough sleep? 

He tries to break the ice. 

"The tree looks amazing out there, I can't wait to see Lachlan's face, he is going to be so excited isn't he?" 

It's then Harry finally lifts his head meeting Louis' stare. He tilts his head back and skulls down the last of the wine, slamming the empty glass down onto the counter. 

" Yes, he will be excited indeed. Too bad YOU won't be here to see any of it." 

Louis frowns and follows Harry's train of sight as he looks to the other side of the kitchen, where all Louis' bags have been packed and stacked accordingly near the back door. 
He shakes his head back and forth thinking to himself 

'
Don't let this be real, 

it's

not happening, please 

don't



let

this be real'

Returning his sight back towards a disgruntled-looking Harry, Louis steps forward to approach him but stops when Harry beats him to it. 

" Get the fuck out of my house."

The Sharp words are like a knife straight through his heart. He isn't sure what's happening here as he becomes panicked not yet replying as he tries to piece together what to say.

" NOW LOUIS. I want you gone before Lachlan wakes." 

Harry doesn't allow any time for a response as he collects Louis' bags and starts to walk outside. 

Louis is trembling from head to toe, unable to comprehend remotely anything yet as he stays put still too stunned to move. He walks over to pick up the last bag that was left behind but his eyes land on the box that Harry threw in the bin. He knows he shouldn't but he can't seem to help it. 

They say curiosity killed the cat when in fact, it had killed Louis. 

Because when Louis opened the white box with the red bow, he was first met with a little note. A small handwritten message. A message which ultimately broke Louis in two. 

' First, you stole the key to my heart,

Now, you can steal the key to my home' 

Below the note, laid Harry's house key. 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/cb3c191f5995f262c40113a6509b1469a5e1ebff/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f524877792d4a79615653587230673d3d2d313239303332323233352e313732633630346361613364393230343935393333333535333032342e6a7067)

Louis ran out the door, not giving a shit about his bag. 

Harry is walking fast, so fast that Louis has to run to keep up, stopping when they finally reach Louis' car.

" Harry please, what is this about? Look at me" 

Harry drops the bag to the ground, turning to meet Louis' worrisome eyes. For Louis, he isn't really sure what it is that is truly going on here or why. He thinks for a brief minute before acknowledging that he hasn't slipped up anywhere, Harry couldn't know his secret.

However Harry turns around slowly, and he can't tell whether he is hurt, angry, sad, pissed off, or anything because his stare is blank, it's emotionless.........It's outright scary.

There's a part of Louis that knows deep down that, this is it. 
Harry knows, it's done, games over. The excruciating tight squeeze around his heart that is making it harder to breathe, magnifies with every second that passes in silence.

Until Harry finally unleashes. 

" Were you ever going to tell me Louis huh? WERE YOU !! " he screams.

Louis' entire body tenses, he doesn't know how to proceed, not yet fully understanding what or how much Harry already knows.

" I... um...I "

Louis is becoming a mess, too scared to even put a sentence together because shit, it's all starting to crumble down and he knows he has messed up, and the thought of losing Harry and Lachlan washes over him like a tidal wave. 

" I FUCKING KNOW ABOUT LACHLAN, HOW COULD YOU HIDE THIS FROM ME, YOU FUCKING KEPT THIS FROM ME FOR 3 GOD DAM FUCKING MONTHS. HOW COULD YOU LOU, HOW??" 

Harry stops to take a breath as Louis tries to take a step closer.

" DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE COME NEAR ME" 

Louis stops as Harry's voice rumbles deep inside of him. For the first time since meeting, Louis is truly scared of Harry. 

" So you falling in love with me was what? An act? A tool to get closer to Lachy?"

When wanting to be heard and understood, you should always raise your words, not your voice. After all, it is the rain that makes the flowers grow remember, not the thunder.

Louis is glad Harry had calmed his voice a little but he might have spoken a tad too soon. 

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME !!! YOU MEANT EVERYTHING TO ME LOUIS, WHILE I WAS JUST SOME LITTLE ....WHAT? PAWN IN YOUR QUEST TO SEE HIM, TAKE HIM FROM ME? WHAT !?!?!?! " 

Louis lunges forward grabbing Harry's hand desperately in need of trying to calm him down so they talk rationally but Harry isn't having any of it as he pushes Louis back slightly. 

" I love you, Harry." 

Harry lets out a very sarcastic laugh.

" Love me. LOVE ME !?! Wow. Funny way to fucking show it. If you loved me Louis you would have been honest from the very beginning."

Louis can feel Harry slipping away. He desperately needs the opportunity to explain, explain it all. He tries to rush out the first thing that pops into his head. 

"I just wanted to see my son Harry, can you understand that? I didn't plan for any of this, especially you and me" He pleads, as he motions between them.
" But I'm glad it worked out that way Harry because you mean everything to me, you got to believe me, I'm so sorr-"

Louis jumps, suddenly startled at the sound of Harry's unexpected roar. It's the first time he has ever seen Harry so infuriated and it frightens him as the veins protrude from his neck. 

"CORRECTION LOUIS, YOU MEAN MY SON!!!!! You just referred to Lachy as yours, and yeah he might have been 4 years ago when you birthed him but now... NOW, HE IS MINE AND ALWAYS WILL BE. YOU ARE JUST LIKE BEN, A LIAR AND A MANIPULATOR" 

The most confused we ever get is when our head and heart are broken at the same time because we find that we try to convince our mind of something that our heart, already knows is a lie. 

" I WANT NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME" 

It goes silent for a split second as he ruthfully decides to take one last blow. 

The thing is, words can be very dangerous. Sometimes the tongue has more power to destroy someone's entire being than anything else. Harry approaches him, chest to chest as he complies an intense stare off, his eyebrows burrowed, his eyes darkened with anger. He lowers his tone feeling battered and betrayed. He digs his pointer into Louis's collarbone, his voice tainted with disdain.

"YOU DIDN'T WANT HIM REMEMBER LOUIS"

Harry doesn't miss the way Louis' lips are quivering as he tries not to break down, nor does he care at the way Louis is biting the inside of his bottom lip so hard that he can taste the dreadful texture of blood. He ignores the never ending flood of tears as Louis cries uncontrollably.

" Harry please, it's Christmas, can we just talk about this later, I can explain it all and -" 

" Just stop just FUCKING STOP. Just get in your car and leave me and my son alone. LEAVE, NOW... GO !!! 

" PAPA STOPPPP"

The two men had been so caught up in their argument they hadn't thought about the little boy inside. The same little boy who had awoken early excited for his presents. He had run to his papa's room expecting good morning kisses and cuddles, but he was alerted to the window by the loud screaming. 

He had run downstairs not caring about the tree, the presents, or whether Santa had eaten his cookies, all he wanted for Christmas, was for his papa to stop yelling. 

They hadn't heard his little footsteps creep up behind them and when Harry screamed at Louis to leave Lachlan felt that he had to step in.

" Papa don't yell at Louis. You are being mean"

Lachlan ran over to Louis and clutched a hold of his leg tightly as Louis wrapped his arm around his shoulder. 

" Lachlan I will tell you once and only once. Come here right now." 

Lachlan frowns and Harry is shocked when Lachy blatantly disobeys.

" NO PAPA, NOW SAY SORRY TO LOUIS" 

Lachlan can see he is in trouble big trouble by the look alone on Harry's face. 

" Louis you need to go right now" 

Lachlan turns to Louis gripping him the tightest he possibly can as Louis drops down to his level embracing him into his arms, scared that the hug is crushing his tiny bones. 

" Don't leave me please, don't go, Louis please" 

Harry moves forward taking a hold of Lachlan's arm and attempts to grab him but Lachlan isn't ready to part ways. 

" Don't listen to papa he's just being silly, stay please stay." 

Lachlan buries his head into Louis' chest, his small heart beating against Louis in sync. Harry watches Louis' pleading eyes and allows them a moment longer. After all, this is not how he too had envisioned Christmas morning and watching his son so distraught is not an easy task. Losing Louis today was most definitely not on his wish list.

Louis rubs his back gently placing a kiss to his cheek. He can hear the sobbing and even if he hadn't, he would have felt it by the way his jumper was becoming so wet with tears. He wants to comfort Lachy, explain to him that everything will be OK, and to go back inside and enjoy his gifts but when he opens his mouth nothing comes out. 

Louis knows Harry is right, leaving is the best solution as Lachlan shouldn't have to be hearing any of this, it's not appropriate, especially on Christmas day and as much as he wants to fix all this, he knows it will have to wait until later. 

Harry decides its time. The sight before him isn't easy on him either, his own heart feeling beaten, broken into the depths of no repair. He takes a firm hold of Lachlan starting to pull him back, this time with more force and that's when Lachlan retaliates. He starts to kick and scream his nails digging into Louis as he holds on for dear life. Louis too finds letting him go this time around nowhere near as easy. 

" PAPA LET GO, NO NO NO STOP PAPA LET ME GO!!" 

Louis is an utter mess. His face is drenched as he cries uncontrollably as Harry delivers the final pull. 

" DON'T LET ME GO LOULOU" 

As if intuition took over both boys linked their pinkies just as Harry succeeded in tearing them apart. 

Louis stood up clutching his chest, as he started to walk backwards towards the driver's side door, never diverting his eyes that are currently flickering between the two people he loves most in the entire world. 

" I love you Lachlan Edward Styles" 

Louis turns quickly getting into the car. He doesn't even care that he had left his stuff behind on the ground because his two most precious possessions aren't in his bags. They are standing there in the driveway. 

Louis starts the car and takes off slowly. He knows he shouldn't, he knows it's gonna make it worse than it already is. It's a bad idea as the vision will be stuck in his mind forever. 

He looks through the mirror. 

Lachlan frees himself from Harry's hold and is chasing the car down the road. The car window is wound halfway down and the screams from Lachlan will haunt him forever. 

" LOULOU STOP LOULOOOOOU" 

If that wasn't enough to kill Louis, Lachlan scars both Harry, and Louis when he suddenly screams out 

"DON'T LEAVE DADDY !!" 

It's the hardest thing now that he has ever had to endure, to keep his foot firm on the pedal and not look back. Louis screamed out loud as he turned left while exiting the property. He drove roughly 100 Meters before he couldn't hold it in any longer. He stopped the car and hopped out immediately bending over and clutching his knees. He felt an overpowering warmthness on his face as he projectile vomited. 

The onset? 

The irony of what had just happened was when Louis realized that the same way Lachlan entered his life..... was the exact same way he had left it. 

Holding pinkies, crying, and being ripped apart. 

***************

A/N 

I will just 

hide

over here in the corner. 

Don't

come at me. 🙈

Was it like you had expected? 

And what happens next? 

How are our precious boys going to overcome this? 

If you are 

liking

this story please SHARE, VOTE and COMMENT. 

♡♡♡

# Chapter 13 - Please Don't Tell Him 

A/N

I apologize now for this filler chapter. It's the most poorly written chapter I've ever done. I'm sorry. I had trouble with it. Had writer's block. The next chapter will be better I promise
.  
  

****************

Making mistakes is an inevitable part of the human experience. At some stage in life, we all make them. It's a life lesson and teaches us how to learn and grow.' 

Christmas day for Louis had turned out exactly the same as it had every other year; quiet, lonely, and utterly miserable. The moment he had left Harry's, he found himself pulled over at the 'welcome to Holmes Chapel' sign. He stared at it way longer than he intended to, every inch of his 'own being' desperate to stay, not wanting to pass the sign and leave behind his two favourite people. 

With having Lachlan so close by, no matter how hard he tried to he just couldn't seem to draw the strength to leave. He may not have been unwrapping presents beside him or watching him run around with his toys but being in the same town this close to him for the first time at Christmas, was as close as he has ever been. 

He found himself drifting back to remembering what Lachlan had screamed out as he vacated the driveway. He cried, he cried with everything he had because Lachlan who had no idea Louis was his real daddy, loved him enough to want to call him that. 

How Louis so desperately wished life had a rewind button. What he would change if he could. 

He watched the minutes tick over, the hours pass by. It was dark by the time he finally turned on the engine, semi-satisfied with the thought that Lachlan hopefully ended up having a good day. Of course, he has no idea how his day had gone but that's what he prays for anyway. 

The drive home was a nightmare. What should have taken 4 hours took 6.5. The number of times Louis had to pull over being unable to see the road due to never-ending tears was astounding. He just couldn't stop hearing Lachlan crying, and he most definitely kept hearing Harry's ' 
Get the fuck out of my house' 

The first night home was tough. It took several hours pacing his room before he decided to take a shower, hoping the hot water could provide some sort of comfort to try and relax him a little. When it made no difference, he laid in bed opening up his phone flicking all through his camera roll. He knew this wasn't going to help him calm down but he missed them both so much already. 

The greater capacity your heart has to love, also reflects the greater capacity it has to feel pain.
He looked down at his bond band. He ran his fingers all around it, tremendously holding back the urge to press it because now was not the right time, it was too soon, and everything was too fresh. The last thing he needs is to give Harry another reason to be mad at him.  

He starts to shake as he lays there and it's not from being cold. The bed feels so much emptier and much bigger now that Harry isn't anywhere in sight to cuddle him. The house is too silent with no more singing and yelling from Lachlan.

Louis punches down into the sheets as he quietly screams in frustration. He has just realized that the worst feeling in the world isn't that of being alone, it's about being forgotten by someone who you know that you yourself, would never forget. He doesn't want Harry to forget about him, to move on and pretend he never existed and Lachlan, shit....if Lachlan forgot who he was, the times they spent together playing football, the times they laughed so hard their belly's got sore. If Lachlan forgot him....Louis wouldn't survive, that, he most certainly could guarantee.

Does he try to sleep? Yes.
Does he succeed? Unfortunately no. 

Day 1. 

Louis' message tone goes off at the crack of dawn making him lunge over the bed to clutch at the phone in the desperate hopes that it is Harry. He lets out a sigh when he sees it is only Kevin. Apparently, his Christmas didn't go well for him either and he is planning on opening up the shop today. 

He texts him back as he squints at the screen, the bright light hurting his eyes as he still isn't awake properly yet. He explains that he too is back early than expected but asked if it was ok if he still took the rest of the allocated time off. He doesn't go into too much detail about the events that drove him back home, but Kevin is fully aware by Louis' sad tone that whatever it was, it wasn't good. 

He finds it hard getting out of bed. I mean what's the point? There's nothing to do, nowhere to go and as it appears now just like it always used to, no-one to see. So he lays there doing absolutely nothing. With the way he isn't moving, completely zoned out as he stares off into space he could easily be mistaken for being dead. It's how he feels on the inside anyway. 

By 12.25 pm he ventures off into the kitchen opening up the fridge door. He isn't sure why he does that. The last thing on his mind is eating. He does however grab a glass from the cupboard and skulls down some water. He makes a last-minute stop to the bathroom before slumbering back into bed. He pulls the blanket up over himself tightly all snug around his neck. 

When he finally moves again, he glances at his phone, the time displaying 4.03 pm. He knows this can't be good for him but honestly, he has no idea what to do. He can't think about anything, it's as if his brain has malfunctioned, temporarily gone out of order. He can no longer think about Harry nor Lachlan or Kevin or work or food, or cleaning and yes, he should be thinking about cleaning because his house is a right mess. The last couple of hours weren't spent on that though, he had used the time on other things. Other things being 'Observing'. As he lies there in silence, staring around the room, he has discovered one of many new things.

1. 
There are 8 chips of paint missing from his bedroom walls. 
2. 
He has discovered some cobwebs in the corner of his ceiling, something he had never noticed before. Had they always been there? That he couldn't tell you. 
3.
The carpet around the bed has 4 stains. He can't tell whether it's mud, dirt, or wine? Yeah, it's probably wine.

But number 4 is what haunts him the most. It makes him anxious and sad at the same time, his whole mind body, and soul wishing he could just escape it all. 

4. 
Everywhere he looks, reminds him of Holmes Chapel.
The ceiling fan in particular reminds him of the way Harry would complain when Louis would cry that he couldn't sleep without it. Harry would groan about it being too cold for the fan but Louis demanded it be on even if he too was rugged up in the doona, he was just too used to having it on for the noise. His sneakers beside his bed are fulfilling his mind with the way Lachlan would put them on, his little legs struggling to walk in them as Louis would watch on laughing. The vanilla musk candle he has sitting on his desk reminds him of the cologne smell Harry sprayed on himself whenever he took a shower.

By 6.42 pm he is sick of being in bed and it's only because his legs are getting pins and needles that he forces himself to leave his room.
He slowly maneuvers around his house not really doing anything in particular.

He leans against the kitchen counter where his eyes land on his set of keys. That was breaking point as visions of Harry's Christmas gift for him plagued his mind. For the last 24 hours, he had cried and cried in silence, a build up of anger, disappointment, and regret all being caged up until this moment, right here alone in his kitchen where he no longer could contain it all in, as he flies into a fit of rage.

Only tolerance and patience can protect us from the destructive effects of anger and despair, and right now... this is not an option as Louis begins to spiral out of control.  

He swipes his arm across the counter, the canisters containing his sugar, coffee, and tea bags violently being flung across the room, pieces of ceramic now smashed and spread all over his floor but it doesn't stop there. 

Chairs are thrown with such force that all he can hear is his valuables being broken. Glasses and cups along with vases and plates now all in pieces as they land hard to the ground. Anything in sight is swept to the floor with anguish, walls are punched leaving his knuckles red and already bruising, all in a release that he desperately needed.

His heart is beating fast, worn out, and puffing as he stops to catch his breath. He looks around at the damage he has created, cussing quietly to himself when he hears a voice from outside his apartment followed by a light knock. 

" Louis? you alright mate?" 

He doesn't care about all the sharp objects as he walks over towards the door, not even flinching as it cuts through his skin as it draws blood. 
Opening the door, he isn't surprised to see Kevin. 

" Hey mate" 

Louis doesn't respond as he holds back tears, Kevin gripping him tightly hugging the distraught boy that stood before him.

" I'm ok. I...I just needed...I feel better." 

Kevin looks around at the mess taking it all in. He also notices the blood stained knuckles as Louis tries to push him away. 

" You don't have to say anything, I'm fine I promise. I just lost control for a minute. Don't look at me like that Kev, I'm ok, really." 

Kevin wants to stay. Leaving Louis doesn't feel right, he hates seeing his best mate so down and broken. 

" Ok I just came to check on you, please Louis, please call me if you need to at any time I mean it. Promise me" 

Louis nods his head giving him the best reassuring smile he could produce before closing the door. Looking around, he gives no fucks at how shitty his apartment looks. He grabs another water and heads back to bed. 

Once again, it's hard to sleep when his mind is too active. Louis starts to wonder whether the old saying 
'
One minute of anger weakens the immune system for 4-5 hours
' is actually true because can heartache cause you proper physical pain? He starts to feel nauseous as he wraps his arm around his stomach. It's not hard to understand, that the lack of sleep and tears accompanied with an over-outpour of emotions are to blame for the sudden onset of feeling sick. For the first time in the last 48 hours, he feels tired. He feels his eyes become droopy as he begins to flutter them shut but it doesn't long because the urge to vomit takes over as he leans to the side of his bed and spews.

***************

Day 2. 

After managing to acquire only 3 hours of sleep, Louis wakes up feeling just as bad as last night, only now, he has a massive headache to go with it. Searching everywhere he can possibly think of, he sighs, as trying to find any pain relief becomes evident that he is all out.

 There is a pharmacy not far from where he resides, so he decides to try and walk there. He is praying that maybe some fresh air will do the trick in subsiding his upset belly. His hair is a mess, there's a small hole in the bottom of his shirt, and no doubtably he probably smells but all he cares about right now is trying to get some sort of medication to make him feel a bit better. 

There's only one more person in front of him in line as Louis starts to become a little light headed. 

" Next " 

He hears the lady call out, he watches her as he begins to venture towards her. He takes two steps as his vision becomes foggy, blackness soon overcomes him.

When Louis had woken he was surrounded by several concerned faces, that of the store workers and other shoppers. He was only out for a few seconds and as much as they all begged him to let them ring an ambulance he wouldn't allow it. He took a few minutes to compose himself before leaving with some pills that aid stomach bugs and some much needed Advil.

Upon entering his house he drops down onto his lounge picking up his phone that he had left behind. There's a missed call and two messages from Kevin. He doesn't answer them, instead feeling the need to once again try Harry's number. It's not the first time he has tried calling or the second or third or fourth, for that matter. Today, he finally gains the courage to leave a voicemail. 

' 
Harry, please answer me. I know you are really hurt and disappointed in me and I cannot begin to explain how sorry I am. I know I fucked up and I don't deserve it but please Haz, I only ask for a few minutes of your time so I can explain everything.......I miss you guys so much it's killing me...I love you, Harry, I do..so so very much and ..' 

The phone beeps...he is out of time.

Louis would do anything to have an opportunity to explain, to explain the reasons as to why he has done what he has done. To explain the reasons behind putting Lachlan up for adoption, to explain how and what prompted him to look for them. To explain how he fell in love with not one but two boys unexpectantly.

He contemplates just sending it all in a text message but it doesn't feel appropriate. He waits and waits for a response. Any response, even a ' fuck you ' he would be happy with because the silent treatment is like a knife twisting in his chest, he fucking hates it.

When an hour passes and there's still no reply, Louis as sick as he still feels manages to tidy up the evidence of his mental breakdown from the previous day and heads back to where he feels most comfort.....bed. 

Day 3. 

For the first time in years, Louis had the privilege of watching the sun come up. He isn't one for early mornings usually but after finally getting a solid 6 hours last night he had woken at 5 am. With no shopping being done, Louis looks through the cupboard and spots a tin of Tomato soup. He is happy with that, as he is only slightly peckish, with his stomach still giving him grief. 

Halfway through his 'breakfast', he drops the spoon unexpectantly as he is hit with the reminder of Lachlan's first football game today. He finds himself debating the situation in its entirety like an angel and devil on each shoulder.

'
Don't

go 

Louis

, Harry 

doesn't

want to see you remember'

'Go Louis, Lachlan needs you. They are missing you just as much.

Tapping his fingers against his bottom lip as he ponders, his leg bouncing rigorously while he thinks, he ditches the food and heads for a shower. 

He doesn't wear any nice or fancy clothes or even fix his hair because well, Louis isn't going there in the hopes of fixing things with Harry. He is going to see Lachlan one last time. After much deliberation, he decides that one last trip to Holmes Chapel is what he needs to say ' Goodbye' for good.

Harry isn't answering his calls, not granting any opportunity for him to talk and explain. Harry is hurt in ways that Louis thinks he now understands and that maybe he just might need some extra time. So that is what he will give him. 
Space and however long he needs. 

Although his 'goodbye' will be said and done silently in the shadows because he won't let Lachlan down, he will keep the promise to be there for the first game. It's just upsetting that Lachlan will not be aware of his presence.

This trip to Holmes Chapel is unlike no other because this time, he doesn't need to pack a bag. He doesn't need to dress to impress Harry or stop off and buy Lachlan a ' surprise gift' even when it kills him not to. 

It isn't until he is collecting his keys from the kitchen table that he realizes he has no money. No money means no gas for the car. He knows he could ask Kevin and that he would definitely lend him some but he feels ashamed and too embarrassed to do that. 

He opens up his wallet but isn't shocked at what he finds. Besides a couple of loose coins, it's tragically bare. He tries to convince himself once more to ask Kevin but he keeps shaking it off. 

' Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck' he hisses as he searches around the room. 

When he spots an object in the lounge room, the only possession he has that holds any real value, he contemplates pawning it. The only problem is, is that his PlayStation is the only thing in the house that keeps him sane and occupied when he is down. Lachlan's little pout and blue eyes win as he begins to pack up the console.

Lucky for him, he gets more than enough money for gas and something to eat.  

It feels strange entering the town this time, not having the need to check in anywhere or having no plans to see anyone. It does however spike his anxiety at the prospect of being seen. As much as he would love to see Harry, he is actually scared of the wrath he may receive if he is caught here. He doesn't know how to approach the other lads too, Liam has rung him multiple times but Louis has ignored it on every occasion. He isn't eager to hear whatever backlash may be coming his way. He knows he deserves it but that doesn't mean he wants to hear it. 

He drives around the outskirts of town for 20 minutes purely to waste time as he had arrived a little early for the game. 

When he makes it to the oval 15 minutes later he pulls into the carpark making sure to ensure he is completely out of view.

There are parents and kids everywhere but it doesn't take Louis long to land eyes on his son. The sight should warm his heart but it doesn't because Lachlan looks sad, heartbreakingly sad. 

He is sitting on the bench, swinging his legs that are dangling, his eyes lowered to the ground. There are several boys on each side of him who are all laughing and engaging in conversation. Lachlan is quiet and not moving, finding staring at the ground more entertaining. Louis thinks that maybe he is scared, worried about his big game debut, remembering how nervous he was about making mistakes. 

Lachlan looks up, his head venturing left and right looking everywhere over his shoulders, looking some what ' lost' which confuses Louis because Harry is standing right beside him. 

Harry notices the behaviour, immediately bending down to his level. He goes to embrace him but to Louis' surprise, Lachlan turns his back on him. It breaks his heart at the scene unfolding before him and Louis can tell even from afar, that Harry is trying to put on a brave face. 

This was not the football experience he wanted for Lachy and Louis can feel all the emotions pouring in again as he plays the blame game against himself once more.   

   

**************

The sound of the siren prompts Louis to sit up straight as he watches Lachlan stand up from the bench. He starts chewing on his bottom lip, suddenly becoming nervous for the little lad. As far away as he is, Louis can tell by the way he is swaying from side to side that he is terrified. It's a little action he had picked up on over the months when Lachlan was nervous about something. Louis would sell his soul right now to run over and hug him, reassure him that everything was going to be OK and that he had nothing to worry about, and wish him luck. 

The moment Lachlan runs out onto the field Louis takes no time in pulling out his phone. He zooms in as much as he can and sneakily captures a few pictures. He is adorable in his knee-length socks, guernsey, and shorts, and Louis is surprised at how well he is keeping himself together having not yet burst out into tears. 

As expected Lachlan plays incredibly well and it only takes 10 minutes before he scores his first ever goal causing Louis to shout with excitement, never being so happy that his car windows were up. Louis becomes a blubbering mess because christ, he has never been so proud of anyone or anything this much in his entire life. He takes picture after picture of Lachy who is smiling as his team mates pat his back. 

Louis isn't sure why but he finds his eyes land on Harry to whom is beaming with pride. Harry is wiping his face clearly overwhelmed and thrilled with Lachlan's first game as Niall consoles him by rubbing his back, as Liam cheers on from the sideline. 

He hasn't been able to wipe the smile off his face the entire time, that is until he hears a knock on his car window immediately making his heart stop. 

' 
No 

No

No fuck this 

isn't

happening'


Louis rolls down the window, terrified but ready for the fury that lies ahead. 

" Please, please please don't tell him I'm here. I just... I promised Lachlan and..oh my god, I know I shouldn't be here, just please don't say anything." 

Zayn interrupts a panicked Louis by reaching into the car and rubbing his arm. 

" Calm down Louis, I get it. I'm not mad at you, I think I kind of knew already, well I had a suspicion. Liam is worried about you, you know? He is just in a hard spot and doesnt know what to do. Please call him ok.  Obviously, I don't know your story or background and... look.... I saw the chemistry between you and Harry and ..." 

Louis looks down towards his lap in shame at the sound of hearing Harry's name, he really wants to ask about him but he doesn't want to put Zayn in an awkward position.  

" I know you didn't intentionally hurt him, Louis, just give him some time, you know." 

Louis is fucking relieved beyond all measures. He smiles softly at Zayn and then back at Lachy. 

"  Thank you Zayn, I promise I only came because Lachlan wanted me here. I just needed to see him...just once more. I'm not staying, I'm leaving in a minute." 

Zayn nods as he resumes watching the game.

" I'm sorry it didn't work out Lou, I think you are a nice guy. I will say however, you are very lucky it was me who saw you and not Niall." 

Louis sucks in a breath. 

" Yeah, kinda scared of him at the moment. I'm really sorry for letting you all down." 

Sometimes we will make some friends in life, that will always understand you.... even in some silence. 

" I just miss them Zayn" Louis says breaking the quietness

Louis once again feels a rub on his arm. 

"Good luck with everything Lou." 

And with that, Zayn begins to walk off leaving Louis more emotional than before. Louis is getting really tired of crying. His eyes are red and sore, the skin around his nose is peeling from blowing consistently. After putting on his seat belt he takes a hold of the keys, seconds away from turning on the ignition when he notices Harry. 

Harry is talking to a man, a man Louis cannot identify. A rage of jealousy washes over him as Harry is engrossed in conversation, not even watching Lachy's game in front of him. It's a sight Louis wishes he didn't see because it rips shreds through his chest.

Out of nowhere a force comes over him and without hesitation, he presses the bond band. He clasps a hand over his mouth when he realizes what he has just done. He shoots a glance over to Harry who he sees just in time, raising his wrist to look at it. 

Anticipation...... can be painful. 

Louis' heart is racing, already convincing himself he has already fucked up again. What happens next, makes Louis feel nauseous. Harry lifted his hand to his mouth and placed a kiss right next to the bond band. The action provides Louis with a little bit of reassurance that maybe, just maybe... Harry misses him too. Louis waited and waited, silently pleading for Harry to press it back..... but it never came. He watches him cover his face with his hands as Niall reappears with a couple of beers, automatically hugging him as the ' other man' directed his attention towards some children. 

Turning on the car, he backs out slowly stopping to take one last look at his boy. 

' 
I'm

so proud of you b

uddy
' he whispers as he sniffles.

************
For the entire drive home, he does nothing but yawn. The lack of sleep the last few days has him feeling exhausted. He is brought to the reality of how tired he really is when he hadn't noticed his eyes gently start to close, the sound of gravel scaring him awake as he grasped at the steering wheel as he had started to veer off the road. It scares him a lot, so much so, that he stops at every gas station to purchase more coffee. 

With 4 hours to think as he drives home, he makes a couple of decisions. 
First off, he wants to quit his job. He loves Kevin but right now, he can't even pull himself together for long enough to eat a meal besides standing in a shop for hours dealing with customers. He knows Kev would give him extra time off but Louis is aware that it's one of the shop's busiest times and Kevin should hire someone who can truly help him out. He knows asking him to hold out for him isn't fair on his behalf. 

The other thing on his mind is booking a doctor's appointment soon if he hasn't gotten better. He still isn't feeling great and he is now pretty sure he has some sort of bug. 

**************

~1 week later ~

Louis texted Kevin last week to resign and of course, Kevin rang him immediately. He was met with Louis' voicemail as his tiredness, headaches, and nausea all took over him, not wanting to deal with anything. 

With not suffering from many pregnancy symptoms with Lachlan he doesn't suspect that he may be pregnant but he did visit the doctor yesterday as he still hasn't gotten any better. He has had some blood work done and will be contacted with any results within the next week. 

Nothing seemed out of the blue today......until he went to turn his bedroom light on. With everything that had been going on lately, Louis had forgotten to pay his electricity bill last month. With the depressive state he had entered he hadn't even opened up the 'reminder to pay' letters that had been delivered last week.

With no job, came no money but he wasn't worried about not eating, that he could manage. It was his phone bill he was worried about, scared that if Harry or Lachlan called he would miss it. The guy at the pawn shop knows Louis by name now and he is starting to run out of things to sell off to survive. So he keeps his phone off to save battery only turning it on if he really has to. 

***************

It's one week later and like all the other weeks, nothing has changed. Louis still feels lonely, still feels empty and above all the rest, he still wishes more than anything that he could turn back time. 

Having woken up today feeling a little better than he had in so long, he actually feels hungry, but also like other weeks, the fridge is still empty. 

Quitting his job he now realizes was probably silly. He prays to God Kevin will have him back, he isn't going to hold his breath though, having been so rude to him all this time by ignoring him. He wants to call him but he is worried about how Kevin may react but he needs money and it's already hard enough trying to find work around London. So he just crosses his fingers that Kevin hasn't already re-hired someone. He presses the call button but hears a beeping sound making him look to the screen.

'To resume your service, please call 121-777'

Fucckk 

Louis threw the phone across the room, thankful that it landed on the couch and that it is safely still in one piece.
However unknown to Louis, the timing couldn't have been anything but worse for him. For only a mere hour after his phone was cut, Harry had pressed the bond band. 

Unfortunately for Louis, with no service came no app, and with no app came no vibration and no notification. Louis has no idea that Harry had just made contact. No idea that Harry just tried to show him that he misses him. 

You see, Harry has given up entirely. Just like once before, he has sworn off dating, the words 'happy in love' are no longer in his vocabulary. Louis was the only exception, still is, and always will be. 

Louis doesn't want anyone else either. Knowing he had a chance at a happy life with his ideal partner and son and had stupidily messed that all up, has kicked him straight to rock bottom.

The problem with having no phone is a lot more serious than Louis realizes. Not only had he just missed out on communicating with Harry, he has just missed out on a very significant call from his doctor. 

A phone call that contained very important information that was about to change all their lives.....forever.

************ 

A/N 

What do you think is happening over on 

Harry's

side?

# Chapter 14- Positive

A/N 

I just want to make a note that Harry is very confused in this chapter and contradicts himself a lot because of that reason. I have made it that way deliberately to show how his emotions are all over the place as he struggles with how to feel. Hopefully, this explains his behaviour
. 

Also, 
I

know some of you suggested Dove Cameron to play Mel but I needed someone 

older. Melissa has worked in the adoption agency for years and is very highly regarded in her profession. 

I have chosen Neve Campbell to represent Melissa.

![](https://img.wattpad.com/7c08f17408c09257b3c0a3548b549c1790bdf401/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f716c30516d6f325f637436334c513d3d2d313239333538383836372e313733306438613461373162303937323639383934313431373039302e6a7067)

**************

Between 'What is said and not meant' and 'What was meant but not said, is where love may sometimes get lost.

Harry and Louis have always had to deal with living Four hours apart from each other, and although they disliked being so far away, both are starting to discover that the worse distance between two people is not the kilometers or miles it's the distance of misunderstandings. No matter how much you sit and try to plan out your future, life has a funny way of surprising you in the most unexpected way. 

Louis holds onto the railing as he walks down the steps, scared of losing his footing as he blinks rapidly, staring at his feet as he concentrates on trying to stay upright. When he reaches his car, he fumbles with the keys due to the shakiness of his fingers while attempting to unlock it. When he finally manages to fall down into the driver's seat he stares out the front window at nothing. A blank stare is sending him off into a trance as the doctor's words repeat over and over in his mind. 

' 
The pregnancy test came back positive, congratulations Mr Tomlinson you are pregnant.' 

Louis remembered he was expecting a call from his practitioner and after realizing he couldn't receive any, he had gone down to the clinic to explain his situation and met with the doctor instead. When he got out of bed this morning he had no idea his world was about to be turned upside down.

It's not until he gasps for air that he notices he had started to hold his breath, too in shock and deep in thought to even function properly. He probably shouldn't be driving and not because his gas is getting low but because he isn't concentrating with the amount of adrenaline that is pumping through his body. 

He opens up his wallet looking at the 15 dollars he had gotten from his pawn this morning. It was supposed to buy him some food but he finds himself wanting to head to the pharmacy instead. 

When he arrives home, he hurries to skull a few glasses of water and waits impatiently for 30 minutes by pacing his entire apartment. When his bladder becomes full he heads straight to the bathroom to pee on the stick. 

There's no way the doctor was correct, it has to be some kind of mistake. Louis doesn't seem to think that he could be this unlucky, surely this can't be happening to him once again. So to prove the doctor is wrong, he needs to do a test. 

He keeps the result window face down for the entire 3-minute wait. When the moment of truth arrives he looks to the ceiling and prays to God for good news because he doesn't have any idea what the fuck he is going to do if it shows two lines. He looks at himself in the mirror shaking his head completely disappointed in himself because he never imagined being here in this position once again. He turns over the test and clasped his mouth. 

Positive. 

He slowly collapses down to the ground, now 100% certain the doctor was definitely not playing a cruel prank. With his hand over his mouth, he starts to bite at the palm of his hand as tears begin to fall down his cheeks, slowly at first developing into a full-blown sob within seconds.

At some point he finds himself laying on his side in bed. He doesn't even remember how he got there, his mind fuzzy and disorientated from being in such shock. He leans over to his bedside table grabbing a tissue and begins to cry again as he sees the test he must have placed there. He turns over to lie on his back as he closes his eyes using all his strength to try and imagine how the fuck he is going to tell Harry. In the midst of all his thinking, he hadn't realized he had subconsciously placed his hand across his belly protectively. 

How could this happen again? He repeatedly thinks, his mind in overdrive. Louis just wishes that once, just once, that one of his pregnancies were planned so he could feel happy and be excited, instead of this unsettling, nerve wrecking anxiety he now feels as he deliberates on the best way to inform the person he loves, the same person who has yet to speak to him let alone forgive him. Tiredness soon overcomes him as he falls fast asleep. 

When Louis eventually wakes up it's mid-afternoon. Now knowing he is pregnant, it certainly explains the fatigue he had suddenly been hit with lately. The room is silent as he rubs his eyes standing up to stretch. He searches around the cupboards and drawers searching high and low for any coins. He finds enough to make a call. 

Walking roughly 150 meters down the road his eyes find the old iconic red telephone box. 

He has to tell Harry. 

He has learned his lesson in that concealing the truth, doesn't do you any favours. Harry has the right to know.

As he steps inside the door, to which it squeaks loudly, Louis begins to think that maybe this might be a waste of time. The chances that these ancient phone boxes still work, becomes incredibly thin as he blows off the dust on the handset. 

He didn't have to search because he still knew Harry's number by heart. As he swallowed hard, the beating in his chest multiplied by the second.As he dialed the number he found himself staring at his feet which were trembling with fear. 

The dial tone rang and rang and rang for a solid minute before Louis hung up. He ran his hand through his hair before looking around outside the booth. There were a few people walking by all minding their own business but gladly no one was paying any attention to him, which was good because using the telephone box in this day and age made him feel like a caveman.

He sighed and picked up the handle daring to be brave once more. Calling a second time didn't come any easier as he bit his lip in anticipation. What he didn't expect was to hear Harry's voice...

" Hello" 

Louis was quick to realize Harry had no clue it was him ringing because with not using his own phone, came no caller ID. 

" Harry" 

The line went silent. Not a word being spoken. He hadn't hung up, so Louis took that as a good sign and proceeded as he soon remembered he had limited time before his money ran out. 

" Harry I don't have much time, I really need to speak to you. It's not about the situation with Lachlan but I have something I need to tell you in person. It's really important."

Silence. 
Louis can feel his stomach become queasy when he hears Harry's heavy breathing completely distracting him. 

" I miss you H" 

Beep beep beep.

The line goes dead as his time is up.

" Fucccckkk" 

Louis slammed down the phone running his hands down his face in frustration. 

With no electricity, no phone, no money, no job, and no Harry or Lachlan........ Louis feels defeated. He needs to talk to someone. 

It's the last thing he feels like doing but he decides it's time to go and see Melissa. Problem is, he has to walk across town to get there. It's chilly out today but instead of walking all the way back home first to grab a jacket, he decides to just brace the cold. By the time he reaches Melissa's office building his nose is red from the chilly wind accompanied by a slight sniffle. 

As expected Melissa had no issue with squeezing Louis in. 

" Louis my love. I've been trying to get in contact with you for a long time, we are long overdue for that chat." 

Louis wants to laugh or cry or even maybe both. He can't find any words to respond so he follows his intuition and hugs her instead.

" Oh, sweetheart. Sit down hunni what's the matter?" 

Louis spent the next hour explaining the whole Harry debacle in between a mountain of tears. Having to re-live the events of Christmas day felt equivalent to a wound being freshly ripped open. 

To say Mel was speechless would be an understatement. The moment Louis told her he was expecting, he waited for it. He locked eyes with her, feeling the pinch in his chest, terrified that she was disappointed. Mel was and still is, the closest he has to family and her reaction meant everything to him, whether it was good or bad.

Melissa never said a word. There was no judgment being made, no words spoken, no disgraceful facial gestures, absolutely nothing. Melissa stood up and simply walked around the table extending her arms out wide and Louis didn't hesitate for another tight embrace. He felt comfortable in her arms as she gently soothed his back. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Louis pulled back. 

" I'm so sorry Melissa, I -" 

" Hush, I will not hear any of that. You have nothing to apologize for darling. You followed your heart sweetheart and that isn't something to be ashamed or sorry about." 

Louis had promised Mel to come back soon and to keep in touch to which he didn't oblige. On the way home, all Louis could think about was the way Mel had suggested he think things through this time, no rushing and to take time. Insisting to talk to Harry was her main concern. Louis explained he had tried but to no avail.

It's near dinner time when Louis finally opens the double glass door to his apartment building. It takes longer than normal to climb the stairs because his legs are so sore, not having done this much walking in his entire life. He feels hungry and tired, his eyes feeling heavy as he turns the corridor.

He feels nauseous all of a sudden and he isn't sure if it's the morning sickness coming on again or whether it's the fact that Harry is sitting at his door. 

He freezes as Harry, who hasn't yet seen him, stares at the phone in his hand. He doesn't look like his normal self, his once dimply smile has been replaced with burrowed eyebrows as he pinches at his cheek. Louis is trying hard to not run over there and jump in his arms because fuck, seeing him now after all these weeks has reminded him just how gorgeous he is and how much he misses him.

Louis has been waiting for this moment, a chance to talk and explain this whole mess but when he makes the first step he tenses completely because what if Harry doesn't want him? What if Harry is only here to yell at him? He sighs a little too loud as he takes another step gaining Harry's attention.

Their eyes meet and Louis can tell he is just the same as him....... scared, worried, and nervous as hell.

With every step closer Louis feels bile creeping up his throat. There are so many words floating around his brain, countless apologies he wishes to make, and yet for some reason all he musters out is 

" You're here" 

Harry stands up dusting himself off as he watches Louis unlock the door.

" You said you needed to see me so here I am." 

Un known to Louis, Harry was already in London when Louis had called him earlier today. There's no way Harry would tell Louis that he had travelled here today with the intention of visiting him to have a 'talk'.  He had driven past Louis' house more than a dozen times but could never seem to be able to pull over. 

Louis' heart is beating fast as Harry enters through the door taking off his coat. It's quiet and fucking awkward. Louis has never felt this way around Harry before, it's new and he doesn't like how it sits. 

Louis turns to face Harry who is already looking at him intensely. He finds the courage to open his mouth as he takes a step closer to Harry who instinctively steps back. 

" Harry I'm so sor-" 

Harry cuts him off harshly. It wasn't supposed to come out the way it did as Louis cowered down at the stern tone he had used.

" What was it you needed to tell me?" 

Louis had been rehearsing multiple ways to tell him and now the moment is here, it feels like his tongue is missing. He tries to prolong this moment, after all, Harry is here in his house, only a shy 2 meters away and he doesn't want this time to move too quickly but he doesn't like how Harry is being forward and blunt, so distant. 

" Would you like a drink first? I'd offer you a coffee but um.." * flicks the light switch on and off* " Powers out".

Harry raises his eyes brows surprised at that information soon followed by a frown. The curtains are open allowing the last of today's light to shine brightly through illuminating the room.

" I'd prefer something stronger anyway" 

Unsure why but it makes Louis smile a little. Searching the cupboard he finds a small amount of scotch buried in the back. Harry takes hold of the shot that was handed to him and downs it. 

He is standing with his back resting against the kitchen bench, his ankles crossed, and his hands firmly in his pockets. His stance is pure intimidating and Louis doesn't know how he is going to cope with this much longer.

The only sound being heard in the room is that of the beeping car horns outside as the peak time traffic passes by

" I went to the shop, you weren't there. Kevin said you quit, what's that about?"

Harry knows he has no right to ask, but it had been eating him up for the entire 45 minutes that he had waited outside.

Louis looks around the room too embarrassed to meet his gaze. How does he tell him he had a mental breakdown and quit his job because he was a wreck after losing the love of his life? He stares at his feet as he quietly answers. 

" Yeah, it was really stupid of me. I just couldn't... I mean I was in a bad... god um, let's just say I'm paying for it now. I'm going to talk to him tonight and hopefully get the job back, god knows I need it." He scoffs. 

Harry nods as he walks past Louis slowly as he approaches the window to view the traffic below. Louis hates the way Harry turns to him, sadness reflecting in his eyes. 

Sometimes our mouths don't need to speak because our eyes do all the talking. Louis steps closer soon noticing the tears starting to build up as they both don't dare to look away. Louis can see the way Harry is chewing the inside of his cheek as Louis bravely takes hold of Harry's hand. 

" I didn't mean to hurt you H, you have to believe me." 

Harry looks down towards their joined hands as he bites at his bottom lip which is starting to tremble. Louis isn't shocked when Harry retracts his arm turning away to wipe at his tear stained face, in fact, he was surprised Harry let him touch him at all.

"Louis please" 

Louis doesn't want to push him any further and he knows by that statement he wants to know the reason Louis had asked to see him. Chickening out he walks over to the lounge room as Harry watches his every move. As he returns, he lays down the test on the table and backs away, nervous for whatever outpour of emotion was to come. 

" What's that?" Harry asks.

Louis is not game enough to reply as he continues to keep his focus on Harry's face as Harry moves cautiously forward picking up the test. 

Time passes way too slowly when you are waiting for the unknown. In moments of fear and insecurity, time can often stand still. With his heart beating rapidly fast Louis isn't sure what he is about to be met with. A calm excited Harry? A pissed-off Harry? But the one he fears the most is the angry Harry. The one he had gotten to witness several weeks ago on that dreaded day of December 25th.

Harry is speechless. He can't talk, he can't move, he can't even think straight, shit the only straight thing in this room right now was the two pink lines on the Clearblue test. He places it back down on the table looking at Louis and then back to the test. He picks it up again inspecting it closer, still having trouble believing what he is seeing.

You see unknown to Louis, Harry isn't mad or angry or even sad. A biological child is a blessing, a child he never thought he would get the chance to have. Harry was over the moon when he adopted Lachlan and the day he brought him home was the happiest day of his life, a time he wouldn't change for the world. Lachlan has always and will continue to be HIS son and he has never looked at him as 'adopted' but a baby of his own DNA hits him a little deeper. A tiny baby with the possibility of having his own eyes or curls, makes him feel flutters he hadn't expected. A sibling for his boy, another child to dote on, another heart to serve and protect, all makes Harry feel gooey on the inside. He doesn't show it though, because he remembers Louis and who he is and what he has done, and then it all seems so wrong, too dysfunctional. 

He gulps so loudly that Louis catches the action, finding himself becoming fidgety as he turns anxious as Harry glares at him. The silence turning somewhat scary.

" Yeah ah, I'm gonna need another one of those shots." 

Once the heart gets too heavy with pain, people tend to stop crying as they become numb and completely silent. 
5 minutes have passed as they both sit at the table, both sets of eyes glued to the test, not a single movement or noise being made until Louis decides he can't take it anymore. 

" What are we going to do?" 

Sometimes when we are in a position of being unsure, hurt, or scared, we can often say things in the heat of the moment that we don't really mean, things that we will surely regret later on. We will lash out because if we see that our words are hurting someone else, it makes us feel less powerless against the overwhelming emotions that are consuming ourselves. It's not an ideal situation and it definitely doesn't help the current matters at hand.

Harry is about to be a prime example of how that works as he snaps back at Louis, the hurtful words escaping his mouth before he had a chance to stop them. 

" Well your not giving this one away this time around Louis, I can promise you that."

It's a kick straight to the guts and Louis feels all of it. The hurt and bitterness Harry is still holding onto cuts away into every ounce of his being. Louis doesn't deviate his eyes away from the table as he keeps his head lowered, trying to fight with the utmost strength to not cry, to not show how much that had just stung. 

Harry had regretted it the moment the words left his lips. He hates it. He hates seeing Lou so sad and like Louis, Harry wants to hug him, comfort him and tell him it's all going to be OK but he just can't. 

Even as the room starts to become a little darker Harry can still see the way Louis has his lips pressed together trying to suppress his tears as he frowns hard with his eyes closed. Louis stands up and walks over to the window where Harry had stood earlier, his back turned to wipe away at his wet cheeks. 

" Fuck, Lou I'm sorry I didnt-" 

" No, I deserved it." 

Harry knows what he said wasn't called for and that he didn't mean it and he most certainly didn't 'deserve it' He is also aware that he has fucked up majorly as it turned the atmosphere more colder than it already was. He stands up also, walking up behind Louis stopping when he realized how close he was to him.

" I need to go. I think I need to cool down a bit. I will keep in touch though. Next time, we have to talk properly Lou. Just give me time to process it all please." 

Louis just nods his head yes because if he speaks he is going to break down. He stares off out the window when he remembers his phone. 

" I have no phone. My service was cut." 

He can feel Harry close behind him. Harry is fighting the urge to wrap his arms around him, fighting a war with his head and his heart. 

Louis hears Harry's footsteps receding towards the exit. He spins around fast just as Harry opened up the door. 

" Harry!" 

He stops as he turns around slowly, his hand still placed firmly on the door handle. 

" How's Lachlan? Is he ok?"

Harry let's out a deep breath letting his head fall back slightly as he gazed at the ceiling for a split second while he thought. For the first time tonight Harry smiles softly it may be a sad one but at least it was something. 

" He misses you, Lou." 

Harry decides to leave out the part where he misses him too. 

" May I?" Harry asks looking towards the table. 

" yeah, no worries." 
Harry walks over collecting the test and putting it into his pocket.

The whole drive home Harry's eyes keep wandering off to the passenger side seat where the test lays. Every couple of minutes he finds himself having to take another look just to double, triple, and quadruple-check that this is happening. That this is actually real. If he forms a small smile accompanied with tears, then no one was to know.

**************

" Excuse me what?!?" 

Niall shook his head side to side gently, a tad bit annoyed by Harry's words. 

" Niall !" Liam scorns. "Harry, it is perfectly ok and natural that you miss him. You guys had become so close really quickly. You found someone who made you-"

" Foolishly open my heart again and let myself be dragged through the mud?" Harry interupts and finishes off.

Liam looked around the pub as he tried to find the words he was searching for. 

" Look. I'm not defending him here ok, he fucked up big time. He lied and it wasn't cool. My heart is hurting for you and Lachlan but you haven't given him a chance to explain." 

Harry had gathered the lads together in the hopes of sharing his unexpected ' news'. Going by the way Niall is snapping whenever Louis' name is mentioned, he figures tonight might not be an appropriate time.

" Yeah well, if you ask me he doesn't deserve the chance to explain himself." 

Liam glares at Niall. 

" Well lucky no one asked you then hey" 

" Shut up Liam. You are only defending him because he is your friend. Were you sitting with Harry these past few weeks as he cried... No? Shut up." 

Zayn, who had stayed quiet and out of the conversation until now was the only one who had noticed Harry begin to cry as the other two continued bickering. 

He grabbed Harry's hand and softly caressed it. 

"Both of you, watch your mouth!" Zayn says sternly. 

Only then does Niall and Liam feel bad seeing Harry looking more distressed than he already was. He hates hearing Liam defend him but he also hates Niall cursing him. It's just adding more stress to his already complicated mind. 

He looks around at everyone, terrified now of telling them Louis is carrying his child. He can now sense Niall is going to flip which hurts because of all people, Niall should understand how much he wants and loves children.

" Papa!!!" 

Harry spins around shocked to see Lachlan running towards him with open arms. He soon takes sight of his mum following behind. 

" I'm so sorry Harry I've been trying to call you but you haven't answered." 

Harry pulls out his phone seeing the 6 missed calls. 

" Shit I'm so sorry mum, I must have left it on silent from earlier." 

" No worries love, I just have to drop Lachlan off, there was an emergency at the office and no one else is available, you know how it is sometimes. " 

" That's fine, I mean thank you for having him." 

" Ok I can't stay I've really got to go. See you later Lachy darling, bye Harry." 

His mum kisses his cheek and leaves in a hurry. 

" Is Louis back yet papa?

Lachlan pouts as he awaits patiently for a reply, already anticipating the same answer he has gotten every other day. 

" No munchkin, he is not." 

Liam leaned forward to not let Lachlan hear. 

" You can't continue lying to him Harry it's not right."

" I know...I know." 

Liam takes Lachlan by the hand.

" You want to pick a song for the jukebox?" 

" Yes, uncle Liam yes!.... Ooh oooh um, let's play the wiggles!" He shouts excitedly. 

" Unfortunately mate, I don't think they play the wiggles here but I'm sure we will find something else" 

" I know ... Cocomelon!! 

Liam laughs. 

" No cocomelon either I'm afraid. How about something with a little rock and roll?" 

" Ewe.. like Elvis Prizeley" 

" You mean Presley, Elvis Presley? Why are you scrunching your nose like that for?" 

" Cos Papa listens to that all the time... it's horrible, wiggles are way more fun"

Harry watches Lachlan in awe as he strolls off towards the other side of the room hand in hand with Liam. 

" Have you heard from him at all?"

Harry looks at Zayn slightly nodding his head. He can't bring himself to look at Niall so he starts to pick at the coaster on the table in front of him. 

" Yeah, I saw him yesterday in London actually." 

Any minute now, he thinks to himself just as Niall skulls his beer, slamming it down onto the table. 

" WHAT !?! You went to see him?"

Niall doesn't wait for a response. He excuses himself immediately returning to the bar. Zayn once again is left with the brunt of it all. 

" Hey, don't let Niall get to you. I can see you are worried about him. You know as well as I do he is only being protective, he loves you and Lachlan and he hates to see you so hurt. He will come around, just let him be for now. However you wish to move forward with Louis is your decision, no one else's ok. Liam and I are always only a phone call away.

***************

For several days Harry continues to stay at home extending his time away from work. He has currently looked at the test 1,007 times but hey who's counting? The lines are becoming faint as they start to disappear and Harry knows he needs to contact Louis but every time he works up the courage he thinks of Lachlan and the pain takes over drawing him to stop. 
How he misses him so much, but trust is a big issue for Harry, especially when Ben had left him the way he had at a crucial stage of their relationship. Trust was everything.

***************
3 weeks later. 

To Louis: 
"I'm ready to talk." 

When Harry presses SEND on the text he holds his breath. He doesn't know why it's taken him so long to contact him. It might have something to do with the way he still doesn't know what to say.

Harry produces the smallest half smile already 99% sure of the response that is coming when the phone vibrates. 
Harry isn't in control of the way his heart flutters. 

To Harry:
" So it was you? You paid my phone bill? I'm guessing you also had something to do with my electricity being 'taken care of' for the next 3 months. THANK YOU X"

To Louis:
" No need to thank me. No matter what happens between you and I Lou, you are carrying my baby. I will look after you, you know me well enough to know that." 

Louis smiles and is hopeful that yes, things might be looking up for them. 
Until he receives another message. 

To Louis:
" As I said, I'm ready to talk. However, I think it's best if we spoke with a mediator present. Since you already know Melissa, how about you set up a meeting? Just let me know a day and time." 

Louis panics at that. Mel? He wants to sit down with Melissa. He doesn't like the idea based purely on the thought that Harry might have a go at her about the breach of confidentiality. He promised Mel not to put her in that position and it's terrifying him. In the same regard, he wants to talk things out with Harry. 

To Harry:
" Ok. I will call her soon. 
Thank you again. X" 

Harry doesn't respond not wanting to push things too quickly. He does however stare at the kisses attached to the messages.

***************

~~~3 days later ~~

~ 

" So we worked out you are roughly 8 weeks along correct."

" Yes"

" Same address?" 

" Yes"

" Same phone number?" 

" Yes" 

"Insurance details all still the same?"

" Yes" 

Louis feels like his on autopilot as Mel drills him with the standard paperwork before officially starting their session. She looks over to Harry who still hasn't made eye contact with her, not once in the 10 minutes they had already been in the compacted tiny room.

" Harry?" 

" All the same. Can we get on with it now?" 

When Harry directs his attention out the small window Louis mouths a silent "sorry" to which Mel returns a gentle smile.

Louis isn't sure why Harry is now closed off, short and snappy. He had been fine picking him up. A friendly hello followed by small talk about the weather on the trip over here. Harry had insisted they drive together claiming it was silly to take two cars. 

Melissa opened up her notepad nervously aware of the heavy tension in the room. So she decides to try a bit of chit chat first, fingers crossed hoping to calm the aura. 

" Louis it is nice to see you again you look well and Harry, it is a pleasure to see you. You and little Lachlan doing alright?" 

Melissa internally scorns herself because, shit, not the right time or appropriate to bring Lachlan up when they had only been in the room a short time. Mel is waiting for it to come, she sees Harry squirm and re-adjust himself in the seat at the mention of his son's name. Harry has every right to address her about helping Louis, about breaking the confidentiality and not showing professionalism but he doesn't. 

"So, now that the formalities are out of the way let's jump straight to the issue at hand. There's no point in tip-toeing around it. Let's discuss how this relationship formed and ended so quickly shall we?"

Louis looks at Mel concerned for her. 
However, Harry takes a different route. 

" Louis found me, I fell in love, Louis lied, I found out and ding ding ding here we are."

Melissa clears her throat as she frowns. 

" What? No tip-toeing remember" Harry sarcastically replies, Melissa wide eyed at the way Harry was being so insensitive. 

Louis feels like crap. He still hasn't brought himself to look at him, he is confused as to why Harry wanted this appointment if he intended on being so uptight and bitchy about it all. 

" Ok, I'm going to start with you Louis, how do you feel about this pregnancy?" 

Louis who is picking at his nails, softly replies. 

" Surprised. I still am." 

Mel doesn't push any further already knowing how he feels from their meeting the other day and by the look on Louis' face and posture she knows he is struggling. She was hoping Louis would voluntarily express some more in front of Harry, for Harry to maybe understand where he was coming from. 

" Harry, you have had a little time to process this unexpected news. What goes through your mind when you think about this baby?" 

Immediately Mel notes the way Harry becomes fidgety.

" Erm" Harry thinks for a momemt about how honest he should be.

" Shocked, yeah very shocked but um.. I mean.... I can't say im not excited." 

That makes Louis smile, a new feeling of hopefulness washing over him.......but that doesn't last very long. 

"For the record and I want it noted, that if Louis decides at any time he doesn't want to look after and or provide for this baby I want full rights. 

Louis frowns at Harry. 

"Harry I'm not giving this baby away!" 

Harry didn't mean to sound rude he just needed both of them to know how serious he was, and how he felt about this whole pregnancy. Truth be told, Harry was scared, terrified in fact of Louis handing away their offspring, frightened that yes, he might lose Louis if Louis decides to take the baby and run from him. 

Feeling scared, uncertain, and confused can be both a vulnerable yet magical place to be. It is in this space between 'What was' and 'what's meant to be' that we can actively accept and create the possibility of new dynamics forming within our lives. It is ok to be confused because at some point somewhere along the line of things 'clarity' will always show up eventually. When or how that will happen, is nothing but a waiting game. 

" Do you have any ideas on how you two are going to raise this baby? Together? Separately? Single-handedly?" 

" Melissa come on, you know me. Even if we are not a couple, I will happily co-parent. I will also provide and look after all of Louis' medical expenses and anything else that he may need. I have the means and I won't take no for an answer." 

Harry takes the opportunity to take a glance at Louis whose eyes still haven't left the floor, still not having said more than 5 words since the meeting had started.

" I also will provide the baby with a safe and secure home." 

The fucking nail in the coffin because yes, Louis is sure Harry is making it well known deliberately that he can provide for this baby better than he can.

"And what about you Louis? You are still working? Still in the same place, stable? 
Louis is seconds away from exploding, whether it's exploding into tears or into a fit of anger he isn't quite sure yet but he has never felt so humiliated, so embarrassed. Harry catches the way Louis only shakes his head yes gently instead of responding. 

" It's very early on ofcourse but I think now is as good a time as any to start thinking about custody arrangements. If you two do sort things out that's great, but in the event that you don't, given the circumstances we are in here, there needs to be a plan in place in case all else fails." 

" That's easy. We will have joint custody if it comes to that." Harry retorts extremely quick and bluntly. 

Louis looks to the ground a tear successfully dropping as he finds it hard to breathe. He can't believe the way Harry is behaving, and what he is hearing. 

Mel looks back and forth between the pair, a glint of sadness as she turns towards Harry noticing the way Louis appears shocked at his words. 

" Are you guys really sure about this? This is something you have thought about thoroughly and have agreed on?"

Harry is fast to reply but Louis is astonished at what comes out of his mouth. 

" Yes, it's mutual we have discussed it." 

Louis tilts his head to the ceiling, his lip trembling because what the actual fuck? They had not spoken about any of this. This is all news to him. 

Louis had zoned out, for how long nobody knows. He had heard Mel saying something about booking a scan for next week to confirm the dates and taking some vitamins but whatever else was anybody's guess. He felt stupid, he felt numb. He just wanted to leave but it's become apparent that Harry wasn't interested in talking about their relationship, that's not why he wanted this appointment. 

**************

Louis takes no time making it across the parking lot as he strides quickly towards the car. Harry feels terrible and already hates himself for the way he had just behaved. There is often regret for saying too much or too little but in this case, Harry is full of regret for saying stuff he really didn't mean.

Louis is quiet and hasn't said a word the entire trip home, his head resting on the window as he watches the outside scenery pass by. He doesn't have to directly look at him to see the way he is wiping at his eyes every now and then as he shields away from him...and yeah... 
that wounds him.

Louis unbuckled his seatbelt with force, the strap flying back as the buckle hits the window. He steps out of the car with no goodbye slamming the door and proceeding inside.

' FUUUUCKKK' 

Harry slams the wheel in anger, entirely at himself for being such a fool. He looks down at his phone the caller ID showing his mum calling. 

" Hi, mum I won't be much-" 

" Hello papa" 

" Hey, baby." 

Lachlan may only be four but is he remotely in tune with his papa and he picks up instantly that something is wrong. 

" Papa, why are you sad?"

He takes a deep breath.

" I'm fine, not much longer and I will be home. You ok with grandma?" 

" Yes Papa, miss you"

" Miss you too, I will see you tonight alright? Hang up now baby."

The unexpected call had provided him the time to calm down even if for only a minute. He looked at the building in front of him and he knows he can't leave. He can't go home leaving things the way they are.

" Louis, open up. Please."
Harry knocks and waits but isn't confident he will be let in. 
Louis surprisingly opens the door, his face blotchy from crying. 
Louis steps aside allowing Harry to enter. 

"Louis, I -"

"What? You wanted to come for one last shot at me H? What the hell was that back there huh? You know what forget it, just leave, GO!! The message was loud and clear. You want the baby but not me, the baby is in and I am out. Got it !!" 

Harry stands there defiantly frowning as Louis yells at him. He doesn't know how to answer that because he doesn't know why he acted the way he had. Entering the appointment he felt calm and relaxed but the moment he saw Melissa, knowing she helped Louis, realizing the two of them knew the secret and somewhat conspired against him made his insides burn. It set off a defensive mechanism sending him into protective mode. He had no intention of saying any of the things he had, it had just spilled out in anger, and by no means did he mean any of it. 

"What Harry? Let it all out go on!! Nows the chance, say it! Just say whatever it is you have been dying to say." 

Harry's heart is hurting at the way Louis is pacing, his face wet with tears. No matter how hard he tried to suppress it he couldn't seem to find the strength to hold back as all his feelings since Christmas came to life as he erupts like a volcano. All his thoughts are spiraling up and down all over the place as he continuously contradicts himself, the constant battle of how he feels and what he wants consistently reacting against each other. 

"You betrayed me, Louis! You lied not once but over and over again and about something so fucking serious!!"

Louis flinches at the deafening sound, lingering on each and every word.

"How could you do this to me?.... To Lachlan?"

The redness lightens on his face as he huffs out a breath turning away to try and calm himself down. Louis is suppressing everything, scared of saying or doing anything wrong resulting in making Harry leave.

" I fucking loved you, Louis!"

It was spoken delicately without any haste, his words all shaky knowing too well that he is beginning to fall apart. Louis has been paying attention and he notices the phrasing of the word 'loved' as in past tense. 

The room once more becoming dense and too quiet, too still.

' Loved' 
Louis repeats softly to himself but unfortunately, it wasn't quiet enough as Harry over hears it. 

" Do you still love me, Harry?

Harry gets lost as he stares into the deep sea of blue, never breaking contact as he drowns hopelessly with confusion. Eyes, believe it or not, have their own vocabulary, and what a beautiful language it is to learn, for the eyes sometimes voice a million different emotions without physically saying a single word. 

" You broke my trust."

Louis moves closer. It's a risk but he is willing to take it because let's face it he has nothing to lose. They are close now, close enough that Harry can smell his aftershave. If only he could, leaning forward just an inch would result in a kiss. Louis isn't aware he keeps looking at Harry's lips but neither does Harry because he too is doing the same thing. 

" That's not what I asked" Louis presses.

Sometimes eye contact can set each other's soul on fire. Harry steps around him putting distance once again between them. He makes it to the kitchen table where he holds the back of a chair with both hands as he swings it back on its legs rocking it as he becomes apprehensive, re-building his walls around him.

"Without trust there's nothing" 
Harry repeats, this time firmer and louder.

As much as Louis wishes the conversation was heading in a totally different direction, he settles for the answer he was given. It hurts of course but he also feels a tiny slight bit of comfort. Why? 

Well, Harry, he hadn't said 'No' 

Harry needs to end this visit. Today has drained him. He had been awake all night, concerned about what today's events may have endured.

" Next Monday at 2 pm for the scan was it?"

" Yeah, I think"

Harry doesn't hesitate and turns to leave. 

"Can I see Lachy......please?" 
Louis shouts eagerly before he had the chance to change his mind. 

Harry stops mid-way out the door, his back still turned. Louis prays he hasn't just over stepped ruining all or if any, progress that has been made today. The 20 seconds of silence that came after felt like an eternity as Harry stayed quiet deep in thought.

"I will think about it."

And with that, the door was pulled closed. 

Louis closes his eyes and smiles because even if Harry didn't accept his request to see Lachlan, he hadn't denied it either.

Now all Louis has to do......is wait. 

********************

# Chapter 15 - Reunited

A/N 

So guys this is the last chapter before Christmas. So I just want to say merry Christmas and happy holidays to you all. I hope you all enjoy some much deserved time with your friends and family. XXXX 

MY PRESENT TO YOU 

* drumroll* 

10k word chapter with a much-anticipated reunion!!!

If I could gift you all something real I would. ♡☆♡☆♡ 

Thank you for all the ongoing support you all show me. All your comments keep me motivated so keep them coming. Also, remember to vote and share so others can find this story. 

ENJOY ♡♡♡

**************

'Being in love with each other 

doesn't

mean you have to be lovers, Sometimes you just have to be friends 

first

.' 

Working back at the shop has been nothing but a blessing. Lucky for Lou, Kevin had hired him back instantly. He had put faith in a young 17 year old but he was very inconsistent and always turned up late on the days that he actually bothered to show up at all. After a very detailed talk explaining his actions and apologies, Louis had re-secured his much needed position.

He has only been back at work for two days but he is loving it even more than before. The conversing with customers, having a close friend to chat with again, being out of the house, he had missed it all and it's been welcomed back with open arms. Louis also informed Kevin about his pregnancy not wanting to hide anything from him and prepare him for needing someone else later on in the year. Kevin was excited for him, he too, glad to see his friend no longer in a bad place. 

************** 

" she's still staring."

Niall signals behind him at the brown haired woman checking Harry out as they sat in peace enjoying their breakfast at the cafe. She is sitting by herself, her phone in one hand, and a coffee in the other. He can't deny she isn't beautiful because she really is. Her dark hair is long and straight, a smile so pearly and bright. He gives her a small grin returning his gaze to Niall. 

"No"

"Harry" Niall warns. 

" C'mon, listen to me, as your best friend I truly think you need this. A casual hook up Haz, something to get your mind off of HIM for a bit. It's harmless and look, I mean look at her, it's not like it would be torture she's gorgeous." 

Harry looks back at her nodding his head in agreement and back to Niall. 

" There's no denying that but I'm not interested Ni, and plus I haven't been with a woman in ages, it feels oddly weird to even consider it." 

That emits a laugh from Niall who is trying his hardest to convince Harry to get over Louis. Ever since finding out Harry went to see him, Niall wants nothing more than for Harry to get rid of him completely. Niall had really liked Louis, so much so he had told Louis just before Christmas how much he had appreciated him and how much he had turned Harry's life around. 

Of course, Christmas day came by and Harry was a mess. Niall spent the day, trying to not only console Harry but little Lachlan as well who had closed off from everyone and wouldn't even open his presents. For weeks Niall spent every day next to a crying Harry, having to help with Lachlan who had turned against his papa for banishing his Loulou. 

It was at this time that Harry came up with the lie. It was for two reasons and he felt terrible about them both. Harry looked his son in the eyes and told him that Louis had to leave. That his workplace had rung and told him he had to travel around the world and he would be gone for a long period of time. He can't explain why he came up with that idea, it was the first thing that popped into his head. 

The reason for the lie.

1. 
He didn't want Louis to appear as the bad guy in Lachlan's eyes. He saw how close and how much he adored and looked up to him and even though Louis had hurt him beyond belief, he couldn't allow Lachlan to feel hurt by him aswell . So he told him Louis had to visit different countries and he would be back whenever he could. He just needed an excuse to buy some much needed time for things to calm and settle down before he truly worked out what he was going to do about everything. He explained that Louis didn't want to go, that he wanted to stay for Christmas and play with all his new toys with him but he wasn't allowed to. He explained that the reason he was so mad at Louis was because he too was upset that he was leaving them. He knows that lying that way was nothing but a cop out. In Harry's eyes, he was protecting Lachlan from the truth. 

2.
Reason two was purely selfish. He wanted Lachlan to stop hating him. Simple, effective, and inexcusable. 

" She's coming over." 

" What?" 

Harry gives Niall a dreadful look, paranoid about how to address this situation. 

" Hello"

Niall stands up as Harry begins to panic because no, he doesn't want this. 

" I will catch you later on Harry. My name is Niall, It's nice to meet you. ...." 

The lady extends her hand out realizing Niall was trying to draw out her name. 

" Oh yeah, sorry my name is Kendall, nice to meet you."

Funny enough, Harry enjoys the woman's company for the next hour where they sit and discuss several subjects ranging from the weather to hobbies they love. Maybe Niall was right, maybe a woman was a distraction he needed, even if it was only for a night. What harm could come from it? But could he bring himself to do it?

***************

It's Friday, the day of the much awaited scan. Louis had texted Harry at the beginning of the week after he received a call asking to rearrange his appointment due to half the staff being ill. Harry was short with his reply, replying with a simple "Ok" after Louis sent through the new time and date. Louis can't thank Kevin enough for the day off, it felt so wrong on all levels asking, considering he had only just been re-hired. 

Louis is sitting out the front of his building biting into the last of his toast waiting for Harry to arrive. He had insisted on driving him, convinced it was a waste of petrol and emissions taking two separate vehicles when it wasn't needed. He soon receives a text informing him that he was going to be late, that he had been 'held up', and that he would meet him there instead. 

His bladder is super full and he feels he is going to leak urine at any given moment whenever he moves. He would love to get this done as soon as possible, so he returns inside to his apartment and collects his car keys.

The drive over is uneventful as Louis softly sings along to a couple of songs as he concentrates on the passing traffic. Walking into the waiting room is what sets Louis off. He had been fine all night. He had been cool calm and collected all morning including the entire drive over here but as he looks around seeing several rounded pregnant bellies, his nerves kick in.

As he sits down into the chair reaching for a magazine he fights the anxiety that is causing his stomach to churn by trying to redirect his thoughts elsewhere. He is severely aggravated that he has had to fight off morning sickness all day ontop of all this added stress and as his name is called 15 minutes later he becomes upset that Harry still isn't there.

" Mr Tomlinson." 

Louis had forgotten the cold feeling from the Doppler from his last pregnancy as he jumped from the sudden contact. He feels nervous this time round, however, here in the present it also comes attached with a hint of happiness and hope, unlike the previous time. There's a large part of him warning himself to shut off, to not get excited or show any interest, scared that everything will go to shit once again.

" Ok Let's have a look shall we?" 

Louis had texted Harry twice in the waiting room, his phone never dinging with a reply. Naturally, Louis' mind went awol automatically assuming Harry didn't want to be there. The moment the radiographer switched on the monitor, the door opened quickly, a panic-stricken Harry quickly observing the screen, letting out a sigh of relief when he noticed he hadn't missed it. 

" Oh thank God. I'm so sorry. Hi, I'm Harry."

" Katie, nice to meet you. You are just in time, please take a seat." 

Louis doesn't look at him, he is glad he has arrived but something doesn't feel right. Louis can see out of his peripheral vision that Harry is sitting really close to him on the chair provided beside him. He internally smiles at the way Harry has his eyes peeled to the little TV eager for whatever appears. 

As Katie prods around with the Doppler, it's silent and dark with only one small recessed light illuminating a pale yellow throughout the room. Louis doesn't understand how nervous Harry is as his pulse races with anticipation, the thought of seeing his unborn child is already leaving footprints on his heart.

And then it happens.

There on the screen between mixtures of white, greys and black appears a tiny 'blob'. It causes Louis to look away immediately fixing his stare towards the roof. There's a rush of trepidation, as memories of Lachlan's pregnancy runs through his mind. It may have been many years ago but to Louis, it felt like only yesterday. 

" So it says here, you had guessed you were 8 weeks last week, you were pretty close well done. I am going to mark you as 9 weeks and 5 days. Louis doesn't answer, too busy calculating the dates in his head, the lingering thought of this baby being Marcus' now confirmed impossible. He had been careful with Marcus using a condom but the fear had still been present.

He and Harry had never used protection, the passion in the heat of the moment always overpowering any responsible rationality. The baby was now without any doubt, Harry's.

Louis hears Katie explaining how the measurements were all of normal sizing as he closes his eyes, the information settling him a little as he feels his eyes swell with water. 

It's at this time Harry has taken note of the way Louis isn't engaging with the screen, isn't saying much at all his eyes closed securely. Although at times Harry may seem a little naive, he isn't stupid. Something inside of him whispers Louis' apprehension and sadness. For a split second, he wonders whether Louis is already losing interest in this baby, his worries from earlier reappearing all over again.

He thinks back to Mel's words of wisdom this morning. You see Harry was not 'late' to London. On the contrary, he was extremely early. Instead of heading to Louis' apartment, he had opted to visit Melissa on his own. He had spent countless nights thinking about things he wanted to say and ask her without Louis nearby and at that moment it felt as good a time as any. 

Upon watching Harry enter through to the reception she had canceled her current booking and saw to him immediately, even as scared as she was. Harry, who no longer had to worry about Louis beside him knew this could be his chance to attack. To finally get his anger out and across at how much he despised her work ethic. 

Let's say this meeting was a lot different than the previous one. Melissa had expected Harry to go full rogue. Instead, she was met with an unexpected apology. Harry admitted his behavior was uncalled for but he still needed answers. He went into full detail explaining his own feelings, where he stood, how he felt and what he expected the future to look like. Melissa felt torn between the two, watching from opposite sides as the two young men she had helped and gotten to know so well over the years, currently fell to pieces in front of her. 

Melissa tried the best she could to stay professional, she said all the right things and offered her utmost support. One thing that has stuck in Harry's brain is currently on repeat in his mind.

' Harry, here are some words I know that you 

don't

want to hear, but Louis did the right thing, he is a thoughtful loving person. He did what he felt was right at the time for himself and his baby. I cannot betray him, so I will keep this brief as 

it's

not my 

place

to say. You have no 

idea what

Louis went through 

before

becoming pregnant. Things were not easy for him and he has been through a lot. I've never seen an 18 year old put his baby before himself so unselfishly the way

he

had done. He loved and still loves that little boy Harry and if you want any chance at having any sort of relationship with him, be that of romantic or friendship, you need to let him explain. Harry talk to him.

Calmly

and

tentatively

listen to what he has to say." 

Harry doesn't know if it's the right thing to do or not but he can only try. He takes a hold of Louis' hand gently squeezing it as he lowers his head down close to Louis' ear. Louis isn't reacting to the touch, too busy concentrating on not letting himself fall apart. It's breaking Harry's heart and as he studies him a little further he realizes he needs to do something, anything because this moment should be joyful, a beautiful moment to treasure and remember. He doesn't care about any repercussions, as he leans forward as close as the bed between them would allow. When Harry's voice softly sweeps against Louis' ear he relaxes instantly, as he is hit with a new wave of comfort. If only Harry knew how much Louis had really needed to hear those words. 

" It's ok to be excited, Lou." 

That was it. 

Louis tightened his grip on Harry's hand as he flung open his eyes, a tear streaming down his cheek as he focused in on his baby. 

" Here is the heartbeat" 

Katie pointed to the screen where a tiny thud was seen pumping away. Katie adjusted the knobs on the screen, the sound of a tiny heartbeat thumping perfectly, fulfilled the room.

" Lou, listen, that's, that's our baby." 

Without thinking Harry lifted their joined hands kissing Louis' knuckles, Harry showing no care factor at the way he broke down as he started to cry. The atmosphere has changed and Harry grins to himself when he begins to watch Louis more than the screen. He is soon snapped out of it though as Katie abruptly stands up.

" Oh, are you finished?" Harry questions. 

" No, but If you will just excuse me one moment. I need to go into another room to look at some images more closely." 

Harry and Louis share a concerned look as Harry stops her.

" Is something wrong? I've seen enough movies to know that when someone says that and leaves, it normally means bad news." 

Katie smiles diligently. 

" No, I won't be long." 

Not long was an entire 7 minute wait, an agonizing stressful delay. Harry hears Louis' breath hitch when the door opens wide. In walks Katie with another doctor. 

" I thought you said nothing was wrong? I knew it."

Katie smiles gently. 

" And I meant it." 

Louis has lost that teeny bit of spark he had gained only 10 minutes earlier, he can't stop the thoughts racing through his head. He fears something may be wrong and once again Harry will hate him for it. He can't seem to do anything right. He tries to remove his hand from Harry's grip wanting to distance himself and prepare for whatever horrible news may be coming their way but Harry squeezes down tightly not having any of it. 

"Good afternoon, my name is Doctor Capaldi. I am the doctor in charge here today, Katie here has asked for my opinion on your scans. Mr Tomlinson if you would just lift your shirt for me again so I can have a quick look, that would be great."

Silence can often be a great source of strength. The two men have no clue that they are both silently praying to a God they had both never believed in, that everything was going to be OK.

With a little pinging and pronging around with the doppler, the doctor stays quiet the whole time. He wipes the excess gel away from Louis' stomach and stands to wash his hands in the small basin. 

" It seems Katie was right in her discovery." 

Louis sits up straight giving his entire attention to every word as Harry burrows his eyebrows glaring at the doctor. 

" Mr Tomlinson would it be possible for you to make another appointment for 3 weeks time, making you 12 weeks. It might show us more detail and -" 

"Is something wrong?"

Harry interrupts impatiently. 

" Oh sorry. No nothing is wrong per say. Your little one is not really cooperating with us today and it's really making it hard to observe but it does appear there might be a second fetus hidden behind the first." 

Harry's jaw drops open at the news smiling nervously at Lou. Louis looks white as a ghost because he had been fearing that he may fail at being a parent and now, not to one but two babies, freaks him out.

Life can be unpredictable, especially when we desire something or plan certain things. More often than not, we end up with things we least expect. Louis had never planned on one baby let alone two but Harry, he seems ecstatic as he doesn't even try to hide his joy and excitement.

" Mr Tomlinson?" 

"Oh, yeah that will be fine." 

"Like I said it's not 100 percent confirmed yet but hopefully next time we will get a clearer view but in my professional opinion, I would start preparing yourself for the idea of twins." 

Harry leans down kissing Louis' forehead before pulling back quickly only then noticing what he had done. 

" Shit, I'm sorry. I got carried away. Sorry." 

*************

Walking out to the parking lot, Harry uses the time to question him. 

" kind of shocked at the news, are you?" 

Louis unlocks his car as Harry leans on the bonnet. 

"Not really, my mum had two sets of twins so it runs in the family. I just didn't expect it to happen to me that's all." 

Harry scruffs his feet in the dirt as he realizes he doesn't know much about Louis' family but it's something he wishes to delve into at some point.

" Thanks for coming today."

" I'm sorry I was almost late."

It shouldn't feel this awkward again but it does. Harry is sad at the prospect of going home having actually enjoyed their time together today and well Louis, he hates goodbyes all together now. 

"I don't want to keep you any longer I know you must be itching to get home to Lachlan."

" Speaking of, wait here a minute."

Harry walks two cars over to where he was parked and unlocked the driver's side door reaching in to collect an envelope. Louis watches on a tad curious as to what he was doing. Handing him the item Louis rips it open. 

" What's this?"

" Read it." 

Louis only reads the first line before he fully understands what it is. 

" Are you sure? I mean, like are you really really sure.....Harry." He whines in shock.

Harry isn't oblivious at how much this meant to him. 

"I thought if you weren't busy this weekend that maybe you could come back with me today and take the train home Sunday." 

He becomes nervous thinking Louis will decline.

"I mean you wanted to see Lachlan and- "

"Yes!! Harry, thank you."

Harry is proud of himself for buying the ticket this morning after seeing Mel. How the weekend will go, is anybody's guess. 

For the first time today and in such a long time, they sincerely share a sweet look of love and respect towards each other. 

Louis wants to hug him so badly but he doesn't know what boundaries are in place. He looks down at the train ticket from Holmes Chapel to London for this Sunday and smiles. 

A weekend....... finally back with his boys. 

***************

Following him back to his apartment, Harry waits in the car while Louis packs his bag. Nibbling on his nail he contemplates whether this was the right thing to do. It had felt like a good idea at the time but now as he thinks about Niall and how he may react, he begins to tap his fingers on the steering wheel nervously. He hasn't thought about Lachlan either, what will he say to explain this? What will Lachlan say or do? 

When Louis steps out the door, Harry takes in his appearance, almost dripping saliva from the side of his mouth as he gulps largely at how gorgeous he is. 
He has changed his clothes into something more comfortable and is sporting an Adidas jumper and trackies and holy shit, Harry feels the need to clench his legs together tightly. 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/4cefd9720aeec853037d7a26181f0b864ff0915d/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f78797a47426e49375570394e4e413d3d2d313239353539393130362e313733323733363536343632653362313134303533363235343631342e6a7067)

If we are lucky enough in life, we may meet someone who we can truly understand, the silence that can form between two people can feel nothing but peaceful. If you ever reach that depth of comfortable silence, let it be known, you have found true love.

The first half of the drive is quiet but it doesn't matter, not to Louis not to Harry because to both men, just being sat beside each other after all this time, makes them both feel incredibly alive again. A part of themselves finally breaking free from the darkness that had been continuously consuming them.

With an hour left until they arrive, the small talk begins. There is only so much you can discuss about your work day and what current music you are listening to. When they finally reach the Holmes Chapel sign Louis tenses a little, finding it hard to fatham that he has just entered the town he never thought he would see again, and Harry notices.

" Does um.. does Lachlan know I'm coming?" 

Harry keeps his eyes firmly on the road in front of him.

" No, he doesn't know."

****************

Entering Harry's front door brings forth a bundle of emotions. He looks around the house, at the home he missed so dearly. He isn't sure how this meeting is about to go down and he holds his breath when he sees Zayn coming down the stairs.

" Thought I heard the door." 

Zayn makes eye contact with Louis immediately and Harry prays this goes smoothly. 

" Nice to see you again Louis." 

" You too. Zayn I just wanna apologize and -" 

" Hey, no need for that. If Harry has forgiven you then so have I, ok. It's water under the bridge. But if you do hurt him again, I swear to you I will break your fucking legs." 

" Zayn!" Harry growls.

Zayn laughs making Louis smirk.

"Chill out, I was only playing." 

Harry was the only one not finding it amusing, already freaking out about bumping into Niall. 

" Where is he?" 

Zayn points upstairs. 

" Up there in his room. Look I really got to go. Can you say bye to him for me?" 

" No worries, thanks for sitting for me I really appreciate it." 

"Anytime."

It's a painful walk up the stairs as Louis unknowingly follows behind Harry inadvertently hiding. Many things float around his mind;

' Is he mad at me for leaving?'

' Will he be happy to see me?'

Harry also is struggling. There is no clear train of thought as to how to approach this situation. Entering on through to Lachlan's room Louis can feel himself tearing up already as he sets eyes on Lachlan happily playing with some toys on the floor. He hasn't felt this nervous talking to him since the day he first met him on the front doorstep. With his back turned Lachy isn't aware of who is standing behind him. 

Harry nudges Lou with his elbow encouraging him to say something. 

Louis with a frightened smile nods, the urge to puke intensifying. 

"So this is where my favorite football player is hiding." 

Lachlan jumps up super fast at hearing the voice he had desperately longed to hear.

" LOULOU !!! He shouts, jumping up and into Louis' welcoming arms. He hugs him so tight, too tight in fact as Louis pulls him back a little to admire his adorable little face. 

"Oh my god finally Loulou, you are home." He sniffles as his tone lowers beginning to cry. 

" I missed you so much."

" I missed you more buddy." Louis chokes out trying to refrain his tears.  

Harry watches the scene and notes that, as much as he thought this was going to be difficult, it hasn't been. Watching the two cuddle tightly is clenching his insides creating a warm and fuzzy feeling he hadn't expected. The bond the two have is clearly visible to Harry now and as he watches Lachlan cling to Louis like glue, he makes the decision right there on the spot. He can't keep this parent and child apart again. 

Harry feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He looks over the message and decides to leave Louis and Lachlan to reunite with some game time in privacy. It's 6.40 pm when Harry re-enters the room and the first thing Louis does is look him up and down wondering why he was now freshly changed and clearly dressed to impress. 

" Hey, Lou. I'm going to give you two some space, a chance to be alone for a bit. I'm gonna head out for a couple of hours, are you ok to watch him?" 

Lachlan claps his hands excitedly. 

" Yeah for sure." A car horn sounds outside and Harry excuses himself. The moment Louis hears the front door close, his curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself peering out Lachlan's bedroom window. 

The sun had just set and it was becoming dark rather quickly. The inside light of the vehicle shone brightly as Harry entered the passenger door. He doesn't recognize the driver having never seen her before. It's not like he has much description to go with anyway, all he can see is long brown hair. 
Intense sadness overcomes him, a large lump in his throat formed as his breathing slowed, his chest squeezing tight with disappointment and sorrow.

Because was Harry dating? 

To shake the feeling, he turns back to Lachy who can't stand still, too over-excited to have his precious Loulou back. 

" I'm so glad you're not flying anymore."

Louis is confused because what is he talking about? He doesn't get to ask what he meant because Lachlan continues on anyway. 

"Papa said you hated having to go away for work at Christmas and that's why papa was so upset. He told me you were fighting because papa didn't want you to go, he was going to miss you too much." 

Louis realizes Harry has made up a story to cover the truth. He tries to deflect the conversation elsewhere not wanting to stuff up the lie Harry has put in place not knowing any of the proper details.

" Well, I'm here now. How about some chocolate ice cream while papa is out huh, what do you say?" 

***************

Harry is out much longer than he had stated, a whole extra 1.5 hours. It's 10.30 pm when Harry arrives home. He has had a couple of drinks, nothing too heavy. For some reason he expects to see Lachlan still awake bouncing with energy, Louis maybe a little excited and glad to see him back because Lachlan has probably made him want to pull his hair out by now. There was none of that though. As the door creaks open, he feels like a mouse sneaking about as it's superbly quiet. 

The sight he is met with makes him fall in love all over again. Lachlan has been bathed as he can tell by the strong smell of apple shampoo, and has been dressed in his PJs. He is currently sleeping curled up in front of Louis as they both snore, sharing the lounge as the tv plays quietly in the background. 

He removes the blanket gently, moving slowly trying his best not to wake Lachlan. He didn't mean to but it had disturbed Louis in the process. 
"Sorry" Harry mouths as he turns around carrying a sleeping Lachlan up to bed. By the time Harry returns, Louis had switched off the tv, folded the blanket, and packed away the few toys that were still out on the floor. 

" You tired or do you fancy a movie maybe?" 

Louis looks at the time, he is still pissed off about him leaving with a woman, and as much as he would love the opportunity to spend some time with him

Tonight......... jealousy wins. 

" I think I will go to bed, I'm tired." 

With no goodnight, Louis pushes past Harry and retires to the guest room. Harry could probably do with some sleep himself, so heading to bed sounds like a great plan. His phone vibrates not long after putting it on charge. Laying down with the phone held above his face, he reads the message.

To Harry:
" I had fun tonight. We need to do that again. Did you tell Louis?" 

He is starting to wish he never went out. He had pinned for Louis for ages and tonight he just wasted time. Time to which they didn't have a lot of. 

Harry is still deeply conflicted. He misses Louis more and more as every day goes on and now seeing him up close and personal again reignites a fire burning in his stomach. At the same time, looking at him just reminds him about the adoption mess, because even behind the most beautiful eyes, lays secrets and dishonesty deeper and darker than the mysterious sea. 

Harry lets out a breath of air as he types out his response.

To Gemma: 
"It was so nice to catch up, will definitely do it again soon and no, I didn't. I didn't get to say anything, he was tired. :( "

***************

Harry freaks out when he opens his eyes and sees the time. Fuck they are going to be late. He flies out of bed scouraging to find his clothes as he dresses himself as he rushes out his bedroom door.

He enters Lachlan's room to find it empty. He jogs down the stairs ready to find the cartoons on or breakfast spread out all over the counter. 

But nothing. 

He runs back upstairs looking in the bathroom and still no sight of him. He begins to panic a little and for some reason to which Harry hates himself for thinking it, it crosses his mind that Louis has taken him. He pushes open Louis' door and is relieved to find him. Lachlan was spread out like a starfish, Louis sleeping on the edge of the bed. A certain little someone appears to have snuck into Louis' bed in the middle of the night. 

Instead of waking them up like he should be doing, he recedes back into his bedroom where he collects his phone. He clicks a picture of the pair as he smiles, the moment appearing to be too good to waste. 

Harry knocks on the door loudly making Louis sit up immediately. 

"Lachlan come on mate get up, you have football today and you are going to be late if you don't move, chop chop let's go!" 

It's Saturday morning which means game day. Harry is waiting for the boys to get dressed as he prepares breakfast downstairs. He is running around fast trying to multitask so they can finally get going. Cereal awaits them as he collects Lachlan's top from the dryer that is still sitting in there from last week. Filling the water bottle he adds some ice in a hurry. Louis is the first to join him.

" Is it always this hectic on game days?" 

It's literally not funny, but Harry smiles and scoffs. 

" No, I um, forgot to set my alarm. Has he been to the toilet?" 

" Yep"

" Found his shoes?" 

" Yep" 

" found his"

' Harry he should be down any -" 

" Papa I can't find my - " 

Harry throws him his guernsey.

" Thanks, papa". Lachlan giggles as it lands on his head.

While watching Lachlan eat at lightning speed, it dawns on Louis that today he gets to watch him play. Not hiding in the shadows but from the sideline. He can't wait to scream out and encourage his talented boy. He doesn't stop to think about who else might be there today.....but Harry does.

"Lachlan go ahead and get dressed properly now please, as fast as you can while I clean up this mess."

The moment Lachy runs away Louis confronts Harry. Definitely wasn't the right time but he wanted clarification on what was and not ok to say.

" Never knew I'd been to Canada, Australia, Paris, and all through Rome." 

Harry pauses and Louis laughs seeing the way Harry is stuck for words.

" Shit sorry, yeah I should have warned you about that." 

" What is ' that' exactly?" 

Harry starts biting on his index finger because is Louis going to get upset about this, maybe be a little mad. It's the last thing he wants when things have been going so well. They say ripping the band-aid is less painful right? Harry has all the words sitting there right on the tip of his tongue, so why is it proving to be so difficult to explain? 
' Cmon Harry just tell him' 

" I couldn't let him think I wanted you to leave. I didn't want him to blame you in any way. He was shattered and beyond devasted when you...when I made you..." 

Harry looks down at the counter, unable and unwilling to witness whatever reaction was about to come his way as he fumbled about with a pen on the counter nervously.

" He looked me dead in the eyes with such a sad little face..... He asked me every single day when his Loulou was coming back, he hated me, Lou. I...I had to...I...." Harry stops mid sentence when Lachlan comes racing back in. 

" Was that quick enough papa?"

Louis can see that he had hit a soft spot and with Harry not replying he jumps in to help him. 

" Faster than Superman! I hope you haven't worn yourself out for the big game." 

With his hands full, he stops at the trunk of the car allowing Louis to help him by holding open the lid. With Lachlan already strapped in it's time to get going. 

" Harry"

They stare at each across the roof of the car almost ready to climb in. 

"About earlier...um... I, of all people, understand the reasoning behind what you said to him. I get it, you didn't want to hurt those you love." 

Louis opens his door and it takes Harry a micro second longer to process what he had meant.

And, well '
Touche
'

A glimmer of a light bulb is awoken and Harry finally can now understand a small fraction of how Louis must have felt about concealing truths. 

**************

They arrive at the oval with 8 minutes to spare. It's a quick dash to find his team and Harry is on high alert, terrified for the first time of seeing his blue-eyed best friend. Niall and the other lads always attend his games. They all adore Lachlan so much and are highly proud of him, with Lachy identifying them all as his uncles, so it's no surprise when Liam who was sat in a deck chair spots Harry. 

" Hey! There you are, you really cut it close today huh" Liam shuts up, an instant reaction to noticing Louis standing slightly behind him. 

" Louis, holy crap, um...hi, nice to see you again." 

Liam was shocked of course but secretly over the moon to see his friend. Louis smiles as Liam stands up engulfing him into a hug. 

"I'd say it's nice to see your face again Payno but is it really though with a face like that?" Louis teases as Liam hits his arm playfully.

" Heyyyy" 

Feeling a tug on his shirt Louis looks down to a beaming Lachlan.

" It's starting Loulou, you can watch me, I'm going to kick a goal just for you, wait and see!"

Louis fist bumps Lachy, a new thing he had taught him overnight much to Harry's distaste.

It's an incredible feeling watching the tiny human you created develop and grow into a perfect young boy. Louis couldn't be more prouder as he watches Lachlan confidently shake hands with the other small boys. 

A hushed voice appears behind him direct and quietly to his ear as for no one else to overhear. 

"Much better view from down here on the sidelines than from your car isn't it?" 

Louis turns to smile gently at Zayn but that decision fades extremely fast when he is met with an angry looking Niall. Louis sucks in a breath. 

" Hi, Niall."

Louis tried to sound enthusiastic but his voice was too shaky. Niall was staring at Louis fiercely, his eyes darkening like an animal ready to pounce on its prey.

" Hi, Asshole!"

Harry shoots a glare at Niall trying to speak discreetly. 

" Oi, don't do that here, not the time not the place." 

Niall gives the good ole eye roll and proceeds to open up his deck chair. 

'What the fuck is he doing here anyway?' 
Comes a mumble and lucky for Niall, Harry doesn't hear it.... but Louis does.

Nothing more is said from them for the remainder of the game. Lachlan played his little heart out trying to impress Louis the best he could. If only Lachlan understood that he didn't need to try so hard and wear himself out, Louis was already and always will be his number one fan.

Louis becomes confused when Lachlan stays quiet on the drive home especially since his team had won. At first, he thinks he is just exhausted and needs a sleep but when he looks through his visor mirror he can see the way Lachlan's little lip trembles as he stares out the window, clearly having trouble trying not to cry. 

" Baby what's wrong?"

" Nothing, why?" 

Louis turns his head towards Harry with a grin as he TRIES to conceal a laugh.

" Oh um...I was talking to Lachlan."

You see, embarrassment can last only a moment or it can last an entire lifetime. Feeling your heart beat faster, the flush of redness creep rapidly onto your cheeks, the shyness, and humiliation, either way, it only means one thing......we are human.

Yep, Harry wants to fucking die.

Cursing to himself as he quickly diverts his attention out the window he mouths a simple ' fuck' as he internally laughs.

" Harry pull over." 

" What, why?" 

" He isn't answering me, pull over now." 

Unbuckling his belt and racing to the back door, Louis grabs him just as he breaks down crying. He takes him out of the seat to cradle him in his arms as he rocks side to side on the edge of the road. 

" Sweetheart, what's the matter? Talk to me." 

Harry joins them and instinctively goes to grab Lachlan not being able to suppress his parental concern. Lachlan holds onto Louis tighter and whines making Harry step back putting his hands up in surrender. 
Louis lowers him to the ground being extremely thankful there was no other traffic around. 

" You ok now? You want to talk about it?" 

Lachlan wipes his eyes and shakes his head no. Louis doesn't push him for answers, he uses his thumb to wipe his cheeks and secures him back into his seat. Louis shrugs his shoulders at Harry who looks worried. 

*************

When it reaches 6 pm Louis walks into the kitchen after his 'nanna nap' to see the entire kitchen covered in food. Mushrooms, capsicums, onions, cheese, olives, herbs, shredded chicken, and pepperoni just to name a few. Louis lifts up the pizza sauce inspecting it. 

" Mmm, homemade pizzas, yummy!" 

He wasn't expecting Lachlan to screw his face up in disgust. Harry gives an eye roll as Louis questions it. 

" Why that look kiddo? You love pizza."

Lachy crosses his arms firmly against his chest shaking his head no violently. 

" No! I'm not eating it." 

Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry who slams the fridge door turning to address him. 

" You WILL eat some vegetables mister, or you are going to feel very hungry later on because you are NOT having anything else." 

Louis is confused because the little boy had always eaten his vegetables with no hassle before. Harry finds himself looking at Louis. He reigns it in because although Lachlan is and always will be his son it feels weird knowing Louis is his biological parent now and telling him off in front of him has brought forward a new sense of awkwardness about it.

" Don't ask me, he has been picky like this since Christmas."

Louis scans his eyes around the table and something becomes quite apparent. 
Capsicum, olives, spinach, shallots, pesto. 

He presses his lips together tightly trying his hardest not to laugh out loud because 'fucking hell' it shouldn't be this funny.

" Harry would you mind if I borrow this little pumpkin for a moment."

Not really waiting for an answer he grabs Lachlan by the hand and literally drags him into the other room.

" Did you tell papa?" 

" No"

"Good but you are going to get me into lots of trouble if you don't start eating your vegetables. What did I tell you before, you are not going to turn green I promise you!!" 

" But...the grinch" 

" No buts... Now please Lachy I beg you. Go eat some pizza and make papa happy, ok." 

He isn't too keen on the idea but he agrees anyway. 

" Fine." he says as he stamps his foot.

Harry is curious as to how Louis got Lachy to change his attitude but he doesn't push or enquire about it, seeing him enjoying his healthy foods again is enough all on its own to make him happy. In fact, the rest of the pizza making goes pretty smoothly. Lachy laughed hard when his papa kept sneaking the ingredients to eat and kept blaming Louis to whom had no idea where the food kept disappearing to. 

" Lou, Ummm." 

Feeling butterflies return to his stomach once more, he is surprised when Harry wipes some sauce from the corner of his mouth ever so slowly with such care. Locking eyes they seem to get lost in each other as Harry thinks to himself how it is, that a man who has betrayed him so deeply is also so beautiful, his eyes disguised like magic that even the stars would envy. He coughs a little breaking the moment as he wipes his hands on the tea towel, beginning to pack away the mess.

"Loulou did you hear? My tummy is talking. It says it's hungry, it smells sooooo good" 

Louis takes a deep breath in, something he is about to severely regret. 

When the first two pizzas venture into the oven, the strong aroma from the herbs makes Louis dry reach. He holds his breath sucking in his stomach trying everything he can think of to not vomit, praying to God the nausea goes away because Lachlan is standing right next to him. 

Harry opens the oven door unaware of Louis' current predicament allowing the sickening smell to flood his nostrils. He rushes three feet over to the sink and spews a small amount of clear liquid. 

" Shit" 
Harry rushes over placing the palm of his hand on his lower back rubbing in a small circular motion. 

"Wow um, Is there anything I can do to help?"

He hears Lachlan run off in the other room, which he is secretly glad for. 
Louis wipes his mouth with his sleeve. 

" Fuck I tried to hold it in I-" 

Harry turns on the faucet before Louis has the chance to. 

" Lou stop, you think this bothers me? Don't be silly. I just wish I could help somehow." 

It's not the time at all but when Harry is giving him puppy eyes he cant help but let it slip out. 

" Harry are you dat-" 

"Here Loulou, this will help you." 

Lachlan almost collides with Louis when he finds it hard to pull up as he comes running back into the room at full speed, his arm out stretched to Louis who takes the object from his hands.

" Papa always makes me do this when I don't feel well. So do this and get into bed to sleep, you will feel better Loulou I promise, it always works for me."

" Aww. Darling that's so sweet of you but um... that's not what's wrong with him sweet heart." Harry tries to explain with not too much detail, not yet having told him about the pregnancy. 

Louis tilts his head down at the thermometer and smiles when he realizes that Lachlan thinks he has a fever and is sick.

" But I don't get it, papa, he spewed all that yucky stuff like when I get a sore tummy." 

Louis beats Harry to reply. 

" You are so precious and kind, do you know that? I promise you I'm not sick, I feel much better now that you have hugged me. How about we go upstairs and get you in the bath? By the time you get out, the rest of the food will be cooked and you can eat some pizza if you like." 

" Ok. Race you upstairs." 

" No!! LACHLAN .....don't run" he says as his footsteps can be heard pelting up the staircase.

" You are really good with him." 

Louis doesn't know how to respond to that. One thing he has worried a lot about lately is becoming a proper parent. There are some days he is totally thrilled at the idea, while others he chokes on thin air at the prospect of such a huge responsibility. 

" Um..H " 

Louis is nervous, he frowns as he thinks. The weekend has gone extremely well so far and he doesn't want to ruin anything. 

" Lou, what is it?" 

Louis looks across the room at the entrance of the kitchen to make sure there are no little ears listening. 

"Are we going to tell Lachy, sorry, I mean, I know we are going to tell him, I mean 'when' are we going to tell him?" He asks nervously. 

Looking away Harry closes his eyes. He has been thinking about ways to tell Lachlan, and how to explain the situation but it's harder now that he and Louis have their own issues.

" Soon."

Louis nods agreeing. 

*************

" Feel better now you are dirt and germ free?" 

As Louis runs a comb through Lachlans hair, the boy turns around timidily. 

" You alright? Did I hurt you?" 

" No.... I ... I just wanted to say sorry." 

Louis has no idea where this is stemming from as tears begin to form in Lachys eyes. 

" Sorry for what?" 

Lachlan looks down at his feet. 

" Don't leave me again Loulou promise me you won't go. I tried I really really tried." Lachlan sobs.

Again, Louis is completely lost. 

" Lachlan im not following mate." 

" I DIDNT SCORE A GOAL AND I SAID I WOULD DO IT FOR YOU AND I DIDNT! I TRIED MY BEST AND MISSED AND NOW YOU ARE GOING TO LEAVE AND GO TO CAMANA AGAIN!! " 

If it wasn't for the seriousness Louis would laugh at the way he had pronounced Canada. 

" Whoah no settle down baby. I ain't going no where. Is this what was wrong earlier today? You thought I'd be upset you didn't score and I would leave. Oh God come here.... HARRY !!" He shouts out to Harry for help because he doesn't know how to address this. It doesn't take long for Harry to enter.

After Louis explains everything Harry calms him down with the pinky hold which claws at Louis chest.  

" Papa can Loulou do the poem tonight pleasssse" 

Louis' face becomes increasingly pale as he freezes, his whole body tensing at the idea. He shoots Harry a frightened look because nope, there was no way he wants to do the poem anymore, not after what happened the last time he was here in this position, in this same exact room. As much as he would like to he simply can't.  

Harry picks up on his fear as he straightens up Lachlan's pajama pants, laying him down into the bed. With the blanket pulled up Louis tries his hardest at an excuse to deny his request.

" Sorry bud, I..um...I...erm...I have a bit of a headache. You have a good sleep tonight ok and I will see you in the morning." 

With a kiss to his forehead followed by an Eskimo kiss to the nose, Louis begins to exit the room but is stopped by Lachlan's worried plea. 

" You are not going to go flying anymore, are you? Please don't leave me again, I missed you too much Loulou, papa too, he was always so sad." 

Have you ever experienced a pain so severe in your heart that it affects you so deeply it is felt in the depths of your soul? Louis swallows hard as Harry blushes, a little annoyed that Lachlan just threw him under the bus. 

" No baby, I'm not going anywhere anymore, I will stay with you for as long as you and papa will let me. That I can promise you, sweetheart."

He stops just outside the door to catch his breath just in time to hear Lachlan talk to his papa. 

" I'm so happy he is back, papa." 

" Me too baby, me too."

Louis smiles at that and proceeds downstairs.

It's roughly 20 minutes later by the time Harry enters the kitchen, his eyes firmly on Louis who is wiping up the last of the dishes. 

God how much he has missed this sight. Harry can already tell by the way he is slouching that he looks tired. It's only 9.30 pm and Harry isn't ready for bed by no means. He pretends to yawn so as to not make Lou feel bad but truth be told, Harry is having a hard time being so close around Louis again. He has promised not only himself but also to Niall that he would take things really slow. He decides another early night is the key. 

" I guess I might head to bed. You should get some rest."

The thing is Louis had gotten to know Harry so well that he knows Harry isn't tired. Although he is fighting with his own lashes that are trying to flutter close, he stops Harry before he continues any further. 

" How about that movie?" 

And if a smile appears on both their faces, then so be it. Louis sits down on one side of the lounge snuggling into the armrest, while Harry sits further down the other end. When the movie starts Louis is already wriggling about trying to get comfortable. No matter which way he turned, sat, or laid nothing felt right. Harry held back a laugh at the cute sight and grabbed Louis' legs up putting them over his lap, Louis was now fully stretched out. 

He wasn't aware he had started doing it, a natural instinct being initiated. He softly caressed the feet in his lap and before he could count to ten, a gentle well missed snore echoed throughout the room. Harry couldn't give a shit about the movie anymore, he couldn't tell you anything about it. What was it called he has no idea, what was it about, not a dam clue because for the next 30 minutes he watched Louis sleep. 

It's a mixture of feelings for Harry. Sad, that the one person he fell for so hard broke his trust had also broke his heart, broke absolutely everything. Happy, that the boy he fell for is back, here in his home. Relieved that he feels somewhat content and back to normal now that Louis is present in the house. Then he is also annoyed and worried, concerned he can't move forward because he isn't sure if he can trust him again. 

One thing he does take notice of is the way Louis has just subconsciously rested his own hand across his stomach protectively when he had felt Harry move slightly. It warms his heart to see how much Louis is already trying to safe guard their little one. If only Harry knew how much more that moment really meant. To understand how much that little touch from Louis was so much more significant than he realizes. Harry smiles as he zones in on Louis' belly. There's the smallest of smallest little "bump" if you could even call it that and Harry's jaw is getting sore from grinning ear to ear because he keeps forgetting their is a baby forming in there, a perfect little combination of himself and the beauty laying before him. 

Carefully lifting Louis' legs off of himself he raises to his feet and attempts to pick him up with the intention of carrying him to his bed. Unfortunately, it doesn't go to plan when Louis' eyes flutter open, and soon laughs as he wiggles to be lowered down. 

" Oh shit put me down I can walk, I will go to bed! My gosh, I'm so sorry, how long was I out for?" 

" The entire movie, it's almost 11 pm."

" Shit ok. Another raincheck?" Louis jokes. 

" Another raincheck" Harry mimicks back. 

Harry can't sleep. It's just clicked past midnight and the longer he lays there the more awake he is starting to feel. It's too hard. To have Louis in the same house only a few meters down the hall is too much. He doesn't know how he is going to do this all. He is happy about the impending new arrival a few months down the track but anything romantic with Louis feels wrong. He can't escape from the lies, the hurt, and the deceit. Everything that he once thought about Louis was misguided and no matter how much he has tried to convince himself to forgive and forget he simply can't. 

' Is he only here for Lachlan?'

' He 

doesn't

really love me, he is only 

using

me to get to Lachy'

Fighting a war within yourself is extremely challenging. Whenever you are in a complicated conflict with someone, there is one factor that can often determine the difference between strengthing a relationship and damaging one entirely. That factor is 'attitude'.

Harry tosses back and forth from his back to his side and to his back again, a constant train of thoughts never giving him a break. 

Across the hall, the scene in all aspects is utterly different as Louis remains in a light sleep. Until something jolts him awake instantly. He sits up flicking on the lamp looking at his wrist which is currently lit up green, indicating it has been pressed by Harry. Louis remembers seeing him wear it as they went their separate ways to bed. Yeah, it's probably a mistake. The most logical reason would be that Harry has forgotten to take it off when jumping into bed. Yep, he has probably rolled over and accidentally pressed against it.

But what if.....

Louis can't shake the feeling that Harry might have pressed it. He doesn't want to ignore it in case it was legit. So without thinking too much of it, with his droopy eyes and sleepy mindset he presses it back and rolls over too exhausted to keep his eyes open. 

22 minutes later as the clock strikes 12.40 am, Louis is once again woken. Only this time it isn't by any vibration but a light peering in from behind him. He can't see the door due to him facing the wall but he does smile and close his eyes, tiredness from the broken sleep taking over, as once again the familiarity of the previous night warms his heart. 

" Jump in baby" 
He pats the spot behind him while he yawns loudly.

Louis is almost back asleep when he feels a hand wrap around his waist. His eyes soon shoot open wide when he realizes that the hand is way too big to be Lachlan's and shit, he has just called Harry 'baby'. He doesn't say anything, hell he doesn't even move, too scared to ruin the moment. Harry too stays still, his hand gently resting on Louis' lower tummy. The opportunity was there, so he took it. He uses his thumb to slowly yet timidly caress his skin. It's sweet and tender and although it's an innocent action, it's filled with so much love that Louis doesn't feel the light kiss on the back of his shoulder because he has already started snoring. 

*************

Louis startles awake, his heart racing and he isn't sure why. He looks at the digital clock sitting on the bedside table which reads 8.33 am. He has never moved his head so fast to look beside him as he begins to panic. It could be sadness or that of being hurt that fulfills him but what it definitely was, was predictable. The space around him that radiated heat and warmthness all night was now nothing but empty and cold. He squints his eyes as he stretches, standing to make his way to the bathroom. As he urinates, he can't help but wonder whether Harry was really in his bed last night. He was so exhausted that he could have easily mistaken it for a dream. He feels confused and slightly stupid because should he address it or leave it be? He doesn't know whether he should be excited or annoyed as the brown-haired girl still plays on his mind.

The house is too quiet, there's no Lachlan singing or talking, and he can't hear Harry cooking or cleaning, it's 100 % silent and a tad eerie.
Trying his best to keep quiet as he heads down the stairs, not knowing yet if anyone else is up, he licks his dry lips continuously as he makes his way to the kitchen for some much needed water. He stops when he sees Harry sitting at the table, sipping a large mug of coffee as he reads from a book. 

" Morning" 

Harry lifts his gaze and gives him a small but nervous smile. Harry guzzles down the remainder of his cup before wiping at his mouth.

" I've kept the kettle hot. I'm guessing you are cutting out caffeine now so, tea?" 

Louis is surprised Harry knew that. 

" Yeah a tea would be lovely, thank you." 

As Harry turns away from him as he begins to prepare his drink, Louis finds himself watching the way Harry's shoulder muscles flex with every movement. He doesn't get to admire very long, as a set of arms wrap around his legs. 

" Loulou you are awake, yay!!" 

Lachlan looks directly towards Harry.

" I can turn the tv up now, right?" 

Harry spins around giving a gentle smile. 

" Yes darling you may, but um, can you give me and Loulou a minute, please? Go and watch your cartoons and papa will come watch with you soon." 

Louis and Lachlan can both tell by his tone that he is serious and it scares the fuck out of him. As soon as Lachlan has gone Louis awaits nervously as Harry stares at him while gripping the bench. 

" Lou, I have to apologize for last night, I shouldn't have done that I don't know what came over me. It's probably best if that doesn't happen again." 

" Harry it was fi-" 

" No look, you and I are going to be spending a lot of time together now and if we are going to be friends and co-parent successfully, me crawling into your bed was a silly mistake on my behalf. It's just going to take a bit of re-adjusting to um.... having you here and not.... god this is harder than I thought... I just promise I won't do it again." 

" What?" 
Louis' voice is broken, dishearten at what he is hearing.
Here he was thinking they had made some progress and now Harry has pretty much friend-zoned him. It hurts, it really hurts.

" I'm sorry Lou, I just think it's best for everyone in the long run and with the pregnancy and everything I just...I just think we need to concentrate on Lachy and this baby or babies." 

" It's fine, Harry I get it." 

Louis stands up trying to keep his composure not wanting Harry to see his distress because friends? It hits Louis hard that even with a baby coming, the little family life he had once envisioned with Harry, may never happen nor return to how they all once were. Deep down he is ok with that because just having Harry and his children in his life will be enough for him.

That's the pretty little lie he keeps telling himself anyway. 

Harry already knows he has hurt him and it doesn't feel good at all. He doesn't understand how their future is going to pan out and it makes him anxious. All he does know is that he needs stability and honesty to move forward and Louis hasn't shown him any of that just yet.

Louis goes to pass Harry to grab his cup but is stopped by Harry's strong grip on his wrist. 

"Louis, I'm not saying there's no hope for us later on or that I don't want us to move forward. I do, Lou... look at me please." 

Louis has trouble making eye contact, he feels hurt and highly embarrassed.
Harry rubs this thumb along his hand, the tiny bit of comfort soothing Louis more than he will ever know. Their stare is intense, as silence once more fills the room. 

"I really need you to talk to me, Lou. I can't let all this go until I know how this all happened. I know it's going to be hard for both of us but..." 

Harry takes a deep breath.

Melissa has a strong deliverance in the way she speaks. Her words are soaring through Harry as he goes over what she had told him the other day.

"I really need you to explain everything Lou, absolutely everything from the very beginning."

*************

A/N

Thoughts on chapter ?

Is anyone getting bored with this storyline? There is still more to happen. X 

Sorry for any mistakes I haven't got any time to proof read, too busy with 

Christmas

preparations.

# Chapter 16- The Talk

A/N

Welcome back. 

Hope you all had a great Christmas. 

It's

new years eve here 

tonight

so I hope you all have 

a

great night and best wishes for the new year. 

As you can expect from the title, there is A LOT of dialogue in this chapter. As always please remember to vote, comment and share.

⚠️TRIGGER  WARNING⚠️

Talk and mention of rape

and anxiety.

************

'Refusing to look in one's eyes can often be linked to two very different reasons. One, you are trying to hide 'love' or two, you are trying to hide a lie. In the next 24 hours, Harry and Louis are about to make these mistakes each, but which one for whom?'


When Harry had mentioned he wanted to talk, Louis had felt relieved but somewhat on edge about it. It's finally his chance to air his feelings and previous actions, to lay it all out on the table. It's been two weeks since Louis has returned to Holmes Chapel, a part of him prolonging their talk, scared that it all might go wrong.
This is what he has wanted, so why does he wish it wasn't happening? 

Will Harry think of him any differently when he hears it all?

His 

current

feelings

His insecurities 

His past.

His pain. 

Ahh, there it is.

It's quite daunting, the prospect of opening up his soul, its vulnerability at its finest, and it scares him through to his core. 

He wasn't going to come visit this week either since the doctor's appointment is in 5 days time. He kind of figured it would have just been easier to wait until then but Harry had texted both weeks for him to come even pressing the bond band four times. That had boosted Louis' confidence a small fraction that maybe there is an ounce of hope still left for them but Louis couldn't bring himself to visit though, too nervous for the impending 'talk'. Of course, the nagging feeling of whether Harry was just being persistent to be polite or just eager for their talk, played heavily on his mind. 

Arriving only half an hour ago, Louis had ordered an uber and is now standing with his backpack at Harry's front door. Hesitant to knock, he leans against the porch wall taking in some much-needed breaths of air as he tries to relax and gather the strength for the imminent 'talk'. He is well aware that the moment he presses the doorbell things will progress quickly, he knows this already from the text Harry had sent not too long ago. He reaches into his pocket looking over the message one last time. 

From Harry: 
" I know it's late notice and you are more than likely almost here but just letting you know Lachlan has spent the day with my mum, she will be dropping him off later tonight. The house is all ours for an hour or two, dunno how you feel about it but it's probably best we get this chat underway while we can." 

He stares blankly at the buzzer. 

'
What his heart desires, his heart craves for, is right there not far, on

the other side of this door'

If only he could break through the fear of it first. The fear of having to dig deep and pull out memories that he has tried his very best to suppress for many years, the fear of showing himself without boundaries, the fear............. of being rejected.

Pressing a doorbell doesn't seem very hard does it, unless you are overcome with severe anxiety and you are currently stuck between; feeling like you are going to faint and feeling like you are about to die.

" Hi"

" Hi" 

It sounds too 'unlike' them, a tinge too formal as they still reside in a semi-uncomfortable spot of awkwardness. 

Following him down into the kitchen Harry packs away the book he was reading by shoving it into a cupboard drawer. Placing his bag down beside him Louis grips ahold of the chair and quickly sits down. For the last couple of days, he has experienced a couple of hot flushes, and this upcoming conversation isn't helping him by any means either as he feels the heat deepen in his face from the nervousness.

" You alright?" 

With a quick nod yes, Harry collects a glass and fills it with water handing it over.

" You sleeping ok? Drinking and eating enough? Feeling ok?"

Raising an eyebrow suspiciously Louis tries not to laugh at the way Harry just spat out three questions in the span of three seconds.

" Sorry, I just feel like we haven't spoken in ages." 

It's true, they haven't spoken much with just the occasional text here and there. However, Harry is jittery himself, unsure of how to start their talk that he is so eager to have before Lachlan returns. 

" I'm fine, really don't stress." 

Skulling down the water, he hates to admit it but he does feel a lot better. 

" I must just um...." 

Picking up his bag, Harry understands he wishes to settle in.

" No worries go ahead" 

He watches Louis exit the kitchen before softly cursing to himself. 

' 
Pull your fucking self together
' 

Fifteen minutes later and Louis still hasn't returned downstairs. Fearing something may be wrong he ventures to the second floor knocking lightly on Louis' door. 

" Lou, you all good in there?"

He hears a soft reply but it's muffled. He can't be certain but he thinks he said '
you can come in
'. Upon opening the door he watches Louis walk out of the bathroom dabbing his mouth with a towel. 

" Sorry, I got held up, felt sick all of a sudden." 

They lock eyes and they both know this is it. This is what they have both been thinking about non-stop all day, for weeks actually. With no verbal confirmation, they go quiet with Louis opting to sit on the bed while Harry stands randomly in the middle of the room.

Louis can't take the silence anymore, if he waits any longer he is scared he may lose the courage and flea.

So he just........ dives straight into the deep end.  

" I know you no longer have any trust in me Harry and I understand that. I however still trust you, so I will explain everything about Marcus as painful as it's going to be."

He stops speaking when he notices the cocked eyebrow and the confused look Harry is currently showing him. It dawns on him then that he has no clue who Marcus is. 

" Oh shit, um Marcus he is my Ex, Lachlan's dad." 

It's the wrong choice of words and Louis is quick to rectify it immediately because the way Harry is frowning so seriously is deathly frightening. 

" I mean...Lachlan's other .......DNA supplier?" He slowly states, but it comes out more like a question hoping it was a more acceptable term.

Harry's face doesn't change and it makes him feel even more on edge. 

" Look Harry, this isn't easy for me to talk about and you staring at me like that isn't helping. I'm nervous enough as it is." 

It wasn't supposed to sound so snappy as Harry bites back instantly. 

" It's not easy for me to listen to this either you know!" 
He regrets it immediately when Louis nods and turns his head slightly avoiding his gaze. 

" I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. No, I did but not so nasty like that, shit I'm nervous too Lou ok. Sorry."

As Louis sits still on the edge of the bed, picking his thumb nails while he thinks, Harry continues pacing the room where he hasn't stopped since he first entered.

" I've wanted to explain everything to you for so long but I never realized how confronting this was all going to be. I only ask one thing H"

It gains his attention as he nods accepting his request curiously. 

" If we are to discuss everything, Marcus in particular, then you need to promise me that whatever is said in here will never leave this room. We speak of it today and today only, and never again..... Please."

The desperation in Louis' voice breaks Harry's heart causing him to come to a halt, now leaning up against the ensuite door frame as he tries his hardest to relax a little for Louis' sake.

" Ok, Of course" 

Harry knows he isn't being the most supportive person right now but it isn't on purpose. He too is feeling just as anxious as Louis. Louis let out a breath, somewhat of a silent plea as he looks into Harry's eyes, now debating with himself if this is really a good idea. He makes the decision to just start laying it all out. He is praying to God, Harry just listens and doesn't interrupt. The quicker he can get all this out the better, well this part anyway.

" Marcus and I had been together for just over a year. He was a little older than me but I didn't care. He treated me well, showered me with presents, romantic outings, love" Louis scoffs at that last one. 

" Our relationship felt special to me. My family however had seen right through him. If only I too had listened at the time instead of being so blinded by "Love"

It's the first time Harry has ever heard him mention his family and he is itching to ask more but he has picked up on the feeling that Louis isn't ready for questions. 

" He took me out for my birthday at my favorite restaurant. It was a nice evening filled with laughter as we sat enjoying our candlelit dinner. Marcus had a charm to him that sucked me in from the very beginning. The way he spoke to me, and his whole demeanor had me willing to be at his beck and call at every opportunity. The night was lovely and it only got better when he handed me a small box." 

Harry can't help the heart palpitation he felt when he is spiked with a sense of jealousy knowing where this was going. 

" He had gotten down on one knee in front of everyone and proposed. Stupid me said yes of course even as young as I was. There was so much champagne and Marcus celebrated in true Marcus style. He drank and drank and drank. I was nearly successful in convincing him to go home when we bumped into his best mate in the lobby. That led us all back to the bar. I had stopped drinking having only endured 3 glasses max. Toby was always around, I didn't like him very much. He was always so smug but Marcus insisted to have him over at every opportunity. All I wanted was to go home and end our perfect night in bed together and when I insinuated that to him Marcus was happy to do so. I just wasn't aware at the time that Toby was coming along too." 

Harry feels every inch of his fiber stiffen and tense, a sense of rage starting to burn through his veins as he soon realizes where this story is heading. Louis is starting to fidget a little and Harry is saddened by the way he is struggling. He is just about to tell Louis to stop. That it's ok he doesn't need to hear it all but Louis continues on as his voice trembles. 

" Marcus was always hands on. He loved touching me, caressing me, massaging me. Physical touch was his weak spot. Sitting in our lounge room he had started to kiss my neck while Toby had gone to the bathroom. Having a lot to drink had made him horny it always did. I tried to push him off gently as Toby walked back in thinking it was inappropriate and rude in front of a guest. Marcus looked back to Toby who had raised his hands and said '
Don't stop on my account'.
Those words have haunted me to this day. Marcus continued at my neck while Toby watched on. I hated it and after several attempts to gently push him back I knew something wasn't right when he wouldn't get off of me. I gave up and thought that maybe Toby watching wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. But when...." 

Louis pauses pressing his lips together. Harry's heart is beating fast and now he definitely wants Louis to stop talking. 

" Louis please, you don't have to-" 

" No, I need to tell you this, just give me a second."

Wiping away a tear he puffs out his cheeks letting out some much needed air. 

" I saw Toby start touching himself when Marcus began kissing me all over and when he saw what Toby was doing, I thought he was going to yell at him, tell him to leave but... He didn't. He......he...um....he"

Louis struggles now as tears flow freely down his face unable to hold them back anymore. Harry steps forward to console him but stops when Louis glares at him. 

" No! No, Don't do that. I don't need sympathy, I've learned to live with what happened to me, just let me finish please."

Although Harry doesn't like the idea he stays put not saying another word. 

" 

Feel free to join in

is what he said. Marcus saw the panic in my eyes, he knew I didn't want it, I wasn't interested but he didn't care, and when Toby walked over laying hands on me.....fuck! I tried Harry I really really tried to free myself, I promise you, I tried !" 

Louis closes his eyes tightly to allow the tears that are over flowing to vacate his eyelids.

" Marcus, he um ...he was strong Harry he, he held me down. He laid me on my back and lifted my legs forcing himself upon me. The pain from no prep, from me clenching and fighting back, it fucking hurt me H. As he violently thrusted into me, I tried to scream when I felt something leaking. He hadn't come yet, I knew I was bleeding. Toby held his hand over my mouth tightly as he masturbated to Marcus raping me." 

Louis breaks down completely his head falling into his lap as he covers his face in shame, something he shouldn't be feeling. He drowns in the repulsive memories and although Harry wants to respect his wishes from before, he can't. He races beside him wrapping his arms around him kissing the top of his hair as he caresses his back. He wants to tell him how sorry he is that he went through that but he knows Louis doesn't want to hear it just yet. So he does what he thinks is best and holds him tighter.

After a few minutes of silence as Louis slowly recomposed himself, Harry passes him a tissue. Louis looks at Harry as his attempt at a joke fails. 

" Great way to spend Christmas eve huh?" 

Christmas has always been a sore spot for Louis, he hated everything it stood for and this was the reason why. 

" Here I was thinking a proposal on my birthday was romantic." 

Harry's jaw falls to the floor. 

" Wait. This happened on Christmas eve? Your birthday is on Christmas eve?!?! Why didn't I know this? Fucking hell Lou this is terrible. This happened to you, not only Christmas eve but on your birthday?!?!"

Harry is dumbfounded.

He stands again returning to pace the room. There's anger consuming him now, ignoring the sting from his fingernails that are digging into his palms from squeezing his fists so hard. Noticing Harry's sudden change of emotions Louis is scared to continue on if Harry is already this upset. 

" Harry there's more but..." 

" More?" 

Louis rushes out the rest. He just wants to finish this side of the conversation so he can get back to what really matters.......Lachlan. 
By the time he finishes explaining the way Marcus had beaten him the next morning on Christmas day after he had tried to pack his bags and leave, Harry had steam coming out of his ears but he didn't show it. He stayed awkwardly quiet staring off into space as he had already begun envisioning a hundred and one ways of how to fucking kill him. The beating was so bad Louis admitted himself to the hospital when Marcus had finally passed out. 

The staff had contacted his parents who were on file and they begged Louis to press charges. He couldn't bring himself to do it though, too scared of any repercussions he may have to face if he did and when Marcus walked free with a proud smug look upon his face Louis found that, his family slowly stopped visiting, stopped calling. It's not that they didn't worry or care about it because they did tremendously but they couldn't sit around and watch their son pretend that everything was ok, that what Marcus did was anything but horrific. They couldn't look at Marcus ever again. 

It was only when Louis had discovered he was pregnant that he built up enough courage to find someone to talk to. It's how he met Melissa, to begin with. After already knowing he couldn't accept this baby, Melissa was the one who had talked sense into him about leaving Marcus. Helping him with some money and providing him with organizations that could help with his current situation, she was able to set Louis up with a new place to stay and even talked Louis into getting a restraining order. Even knowing Marcus couldn't come near him for two years didn't bring any comfort, he was scared of him now and always will be. 

It's been a long hour as both men sit side by side on the bed, with one trying to let everything sink in, still in shock at the information he now knows, while the other is semi glad to get it off his chest to not hide it anymore, now ready to finally explain the reasons he left Lachlan. 

Louis explains it all, the way he didn't feel connected to his bump, the way he feared his baby would look and behave like Marcus. Not having any faith in himself to be a parent so young, not having a stable income or home, he told Harry it all.

" Nine months later and 4 days overdue I gave birth. The decision for adoption as I've just explained was the hardest thing I've ever had to do Harry. I Loved him so much, don't ever question that please H, I've never blamed him and I never would. For you, September 28th has been a beautiful celebration for your son's birthday. To me, it's a painful reminder of an awful time in my life but also a time of massive regret of handing my baby away."

Harry feels himself on the verge of breaking down but he sucks in a deep breath trying to conceal it. He wants to stay strong, not for himself but for Louis who needs comforting more than he does. 

" I've despised Christmas and my birthday ever since, that's why I never informed you of when it was. Funny enough, meeting you guys and staying here for Christmas was the first time in years I have ever actually looked forward to it but... well, we all know how that day panned out."

Harry hates himself. If he had only known what he knows now there's no way he would have acted like he did at Christmas. To think Louis already had all that playing on his mind, he had contributed to it all by scarring him even further by kicking him out and making him leave.

" Oh shit Lou, I, far out I'm so sorry I'm so fucking sorry" He blubbers out as he begins to cry. Only moments later he stops abruptly, standing up and running a hand through his hair in frustration. 

" Where is he now?" 

" Harrrry." 

There's no way Louis is answering that one. He can already tell by the darkness that has accumulated in Harry's eyes the reason behind why he is asking.

" No, it's in the past and it's where it needs to stay. He isn't worth it."

It takes another 40 minutes of painful memories and tears for Louis to re-live and explain in detail how it felt in the delivery room, the way he experienced a massive piece of himself die the moment Lachlan was taken out of the room.

" I was so scared, I didn't know If I was making the correct decision, I didn't know who was taking my baby but now. Now that I know it was you on the other side of the door, I couldn't be more happier you know that right? You will never understand Harry how grateful and how in debt I am to you for taking in my boy and giving him the life I could have never provided."

Harry takes a hold of Louis' hand and gently clasps him. Turning his whole body around to face him entirely he lifts his hand to wipe the wetness away from Louis' eyes.

There's still way more that needs to be addressed, but it has to wait for another time as the doorbell chimes, Anne has finally brought Lachlan home for the night. Louis feels nervous about seeing her after all this time not knowing how she is going to respond to seeing him. He debates whether he should just hide like a coward but Harry has other ideas when he extends his hand out helping him raise up off the bed. Harry must have a sixth sense of what Louis looks worried about. 

"It will be fine I promise." 

Which it was, sort of.  Anne never said a nasty word, a sly look of 
'
don't ever hurt my boy again or I will chop your balls

off'
maybe but she never said anything other than a bland hello and goodbye but feeling Lachlan wrap his arms around him the moment he saw him had never felt so bittersweet.

***************

When bedtime rolls around, Harry stands beside Lachlan's bed watching him sleep. He shouldn't feel this way but he can't help but fight back nausea as he feels sick knowing that Lachlan, his beautiful sweet little baby was a product of such disgusting behavior. Standing there rubbing circles around his temples, he rapidly shakes it off and gets rid of that feeling pretty quickly. 

It's still early 9.15 pm and as he passes Louis' bedroom door he sees it is still slightly ajar. He doesn't even try to tell himself no as he stops to peek in. Louis had his back to him and it appears he has just gotten out of the shower. With only some black sweatpants on baring a naked chest, Harry knocks.

" You wanna try that movie again?" Harry chuckles. " If you are too tired I fully understand."

Throwing a white Nike shirt over his head as he turns around, he smiles at the suggestion. 

" I'd love to, if you could just wait. Just give me a minute yeah. Is Lachlan asleep?"

" Yeah, poor bugger, mum had him completely worn out today." 

Using the couple of minutes he has spare, Louis fixes his hair and sprays on some deodorant. He turns sideways in the mirror to admire his small bump. It makes him smile as he heads downstairs. Harry has made cups of tea and is sitting on the lounge with a blanket. He pats the seat beside him making Louis' belly flutter. Louis is a little tired but wide awake enough to know he will make it through the movie this time around. Harry had placed the bowl of popcorn right on Louis' lap which he now realizes might have been a bad idea, especially if he had wanted some because Louis is chomping them down like there was no tomorrow.

" Are you still hungry? Would you like me to heat up some leftover risotto, I'd be more than happy to" 

Louis slowly lets go of the bowl placing it beside him looking horrified.

" Oh my god I'm being a pig arn't I? Sorry."

" What, no!" 

Harry picks up the bowl placing it back in his lap. 

" Please if my babies are hungry, feed them. I just thought you may have wanted something else with more substance." 
Harry's eyes flick to Louis' belly and it's the first time they have really made mention of the pregnancy outside of appointments.

" Babies as in plural, you really think there's two in there?" 

For the first time since arriving here this weekend, Harry pulls an authentic smile out of him. 

" You mind?" 

" You don't need to ask." 

Harry lowers his hand down onto Louis' stomach. His palm is faced down as he closes his eyes as though in deep thought. All Louis can do is hold his breath when the warmth from Harry's hand transfers through his thin shirt.  

" Yes, yes I do. There's two in there I'm sure of it."

Harry doesn't remove his hand straight away locking his eyes to the sea of blue in front of him but Harry diverts his attention quickly because if he looked into those eyes any longer he couldn't be sure he would be able to stop himself from kissing him.

Louis too turns to view the tv screen wiping the hair across his forehead as he feels the heat rise in his cheeks. They sit together in silence as the movie starts and within ten minutes Harry decides he has questions he still wants answers for. He figures that with Lachy asleep, now is the only other time they will have in private to discuss it. 

They are sitting closer now, the two not noticing the natural pull they felt when they shared a moment not long ago, both shuffling closer unknowingly. 

" Have you seen him since? Marcus, I mean?" 

Louis freezes, his vision tunneled as he kept his gaze upon the screen as he tried to focus. It was hard because the walls suddenly felt like they were closing in, and the simple task of breathing became incredibly difficult. After all, how does he answer this? Harry doesn't say anything but he sees the way Louis tenses hearing the sharp exhale he makes before finally speaking. 

" I have." 

It's all he finds he can say, not sure whether he should keep the incident at the park to himself. Harry is internally wishing he would elaborate further and it turns out wishes do sometimes come true because Louis continues. 

" Do you remember that day at the park when I took off unexpectedly? I told you something came up and I had to go. Yeah, Marcus approached me in the toilets. He um, he saw Lachlan and he put two and two together and I just wanted to protect him you know. I drove him away from there." 

It's not the entire truth and even though he contemplates back and forth about the rest of the story he just crosses his fingers and hopes the decision he has just made doesn't come back to bite him in the ass later on. He can feel sweat dripping down his neck at the prospect of with holding the truth from Harry once again. The amount of stress he is currently experiencing is not good for his baby and he knows that, so changing the subject seems like the smartest thing to do. The first thing that came out of his mouth wasn't really What he had in mind. 

" When Lachlan was born they placed him on my chest even though I'd asked them not to. It was a mistake on a nurse's behalf but when they grabbed him to take him away we locked pinkies. He screamed when we were pulled apart." 

Louis frowns confused at why he just spat all that out. Harry doesn't respond taking it all in until it hits him. 

" Oh my god Lou, that's why he settles with the pinkie hold? You think he remembers that?" 

Of course, Louis doesn't think that. It's impossible for a baby to recall events from that age. 

" I don't believe he remembers as such, but there's a part of me that believes when he feels the pinky hold he is subconsciously reminded of the comfort he felt at that time. The love between us. I dunno, it sounds stupid I know." 

Harry scoots over closer rubbing his back gently. 

" It's not stupid at all. If it's any consolation I totally agree. From the day I brought him home holding his pinky was the only thing that settled him. The feeling of your little finger, your skin? Your smell, I think he missed you, Lou." 

It's been such a long tiring day for the pair of them. It's brought to Harry's attention that his words have gone straight to Louis' heart. Once again today they find themselves in a loving embrace. Louis is first to pull back because '
Friends'
remember.

" Hey, um thanks for the talk. As you can imagine I didn't expect any of that and I'm truly sorry for what you went through Lou. Opening up to me couldn't have been easy but I'm really glad you did. You truly are a remarkable man. You gave me the most precious gift in the world, you were wrong before you know. It's me who is in debt to you. Without you, that little boy wouldn't even exist. He saved us both us Lou.  

Twenty minutes later the room is once more filled with snores. Louis smiles knowing that this time he isn't the one responsible for the sound. Watching Harry's chest rise and fall he stretches out to caress his cheek but stops himself at the last minute. Harry has shown so much support and understanding today and their conversation had gone better than expected, the impending baby probably having something to do with the overall willingness to keep calm. 

" Hey" 

Louis rubs the top part of Harry's biceps trying to wake him up. He is successful as Harry's eyes open wide as he sits up straight rubbing at his neck, the stiffness from crouching over making it hard to move.

" Go to bed, you are tired." 

Harry yawns as he slowly stands to stretch looking over at the time. He goes to move but one of his legs has fallen asleep so he bends down to rub it. 

" We are never going to successfully watch a movie are we?" Harry jokes enjoying seeing a smile once again appear on Louis' face.

" It doesn't seem that way does it?" Louis laughs back. Sometimes looking into the emerald greenness of Harry's eyes makes him feel light-headed. The power Harry's eyes have over him is a cause for concern. When their eyes are acquainted yet once again, there's a moment of almost '
nothing
' yet it also feels like the timeless '
beginning'
of everything. Louis can't look into his eyes any longer in case he makes a foolish mistake. Where words can sometimes be lost or restrained, the eyes can often talk a great deal. 

" Goodnight Harry." 

Before Louis has any chance to even move he couldn't if he tried because a large hand grabs his own keeping him in place. 

" Lou, please"

Harry is watching Louis' lips lustfully, fighting a battle within about the stupid thing he wants to do. Failing to hide the way he licks his lips to moisture them, Harry lets his head fall backwards for a split second before caressing Louis' hand. 

" In this house........." 

Louis is stunned at what he is hearing but he understands the assignment, he too running his tongue across his lips. As Harry leans closer, Louis finishes it off. 

" We kiss each other goodnight." 

It feels like an eternity with every inch Harry gets closer but there's a revolutionary light bulb that goes off forcing Louis to turn his head offering Harry his cheek. As much as he wanted this, needed this, Louis isn't sure if Harry wants to kiss him out of genuine desire or whether he only feels sorry for him and it's out of pity due to what he had learned today. 

Harry, on the other hand, grabs Louis' chin gently turning him back around. Their lips gently brush against each other's as Harry closes the gap. There's no rush or force, it's tender and sweet. With both their eyes closed, they have no idea they have done the same thing as they both take in a deep breath pressing their closed lips firmer into each other trying to savor the feeling of the other's skin.  

" Shit shit shit!  I'm sorry. I'm so bad at this. Shit. What was I thinking I'm sorry. Fucking hell I'm confusing not only myself but you. Jesus." 

Normally this would worry Louis and make him panic but the intense eye contact they had just made was more intimate than their words have ever been. Harry looks worried and so apologetic and God dam cute that Louis literally doesn't know what to do, so he plays it safe and just smiles. 

" Good night Harry" 

Harry smiles back before turning around and leaving for upstairs eager to hide his embarrassment. What a strange illusion it is to believe that things can suddenly slide by so smoothly. When things seem to be going too well, it normally means it's too good to be true. 

A buzzing vibration makes Louis look down at the coffee table where Harry's phone lies. 

It's a message.

The first line of the message is displayed on the screen alongside the name of the sender. Louis feels a knot form in his stomach and it isn't that of a nice one. 

Kendall: "You ready for another hookup? 😉"

Harry is the type of person who has pictures of their contacts. Louis lowers himself down to take a better look at the girl beside the name. His heart sinks when he sees long brown hair. Louis enjoys puzzles so it doesn't take him long to join the pieces together. 

With a heavy heart, Louis retires to the guest bedroom where he doesn't catch a wink of sleep, the idea of Harry seeing other people clawing away at his chest.  

*****************

Over breakfast, Harry wasn't oblivious to the way Louis seemed quiet, well towards him at least. Louis and Lachlan had been playing since the crack of dawn. Harry was sure enough to place a bet that Louis was avoiding him for reasons he has no idea. Maybe their talk last night was too much, he overstepped with the kiss, there are many reasons Harry can only assume, so he tells Louis he is off for a quick run to the supermarket. 

Harry going shopping on his own has allowed some alone time with Lachlan, however, Louis is certain he is off with Niall or maybe this Kendall person, he isn't too sure but it makes him anxious about it. It's unusually sunny today so he decides some backyard fitness is in order. Lachlan was excited at the idea and Louis is puffing from trying to keep up. Stopping to catch his breath he looks around trying to find something in particular.  

He hadn't noticed at first, too engaged and focused on the football that he can't see the 'Batman' cart he had purchased for him. He scans the entire backyard twice and still, he can't seem to locate it. It's really bugging him that it's nowhere in sight. He wants to see Lachlan play with it, and wants to ask if he enjoys the ride.

" Did you like the present I got you for Christmas?" 

Lachlan continues on running around him, so he is pretty sure he hasn't heard him. So he asks again this time a little louder.  

" Hey sweet. Where's the Christmas present I got you?" 

It's a simple question, well so Louis had thought. Lachlan stops running abruptly fixing his eyes to Lou's as he stares, seeming slightly anxious. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that something is wrong, especially with the way Lachlan now keeps avoiding eye contact as he stares down towards the grass. 

Not wanting to upset him any further he doesn't press or push it, opting to walk over and hug his little boy instead. With little arms tightly wrapped around his neck, he is surprised however when Lachlan whispers into his ear, the words hitting his eardrum raw and unexpectedly. There's no stopping the way his jaw drops a little, shocked at the sudden information he has just heard. It stings his heart a little and automatically Louis feels tears swell in his eyes, which isn't something new. All this week he has been crying at almost anything at the drop of a hat, his hormones clearly taking over. 

Seeing the distress and sadness, he lifts up Lachlan's chin making eye contact. 

" You didn't have to do that baby. Where is it?" 

Lachlan grabs a hold of Louis' hand and silently walks him over to the shed where he just points to the closed door. This isn't right and Louis feels absolutely terrible.

" You want me to get it out?" 

Lachy smiles and nods his head, a little apprehensive at being excited as the little boy's mind drifts back to memories of that dreaded morning. 

With a loud squeak as the roller door glides upwards, both of them stand there hand in hand staring towards the back corner where his present, which is still messily wrapped with a red bow on it, is without a doubt still wrapped and untouched. Louis frowns a little now realizing Lachy wasn't lying. 

He hadn't opened it


It's not like he can help it but his mind comes to an instant assumption that Harry probably told him no, told him he wasn't allowed to open it. 
'
It's too dangerous'

He also thinks maybe Harry just didn't want Lachlan to have it simply because he had brought it. Lock it away, sell it at some point to wipe all traces of himself away from the house. 
He looks down when he feels his hand being gently squeezed, a sorrowful curl of Lachlan's lip projecting back at him.

" Wouldn't papa let you have it?"

He had to ask, it was eating him away. Lachlan shakes his head no as Louis lowers down to his level to listen more intently. 

" No, papa, he wanted me to have it. It wasn't papa's fault." 

It's a relief to hear but automatically Niall pops into his head. No... there's no way he would do that to him. He doesn't get to think much more about it because Lachlan's soft words regains his attention. 

" I didn't want to open it without you. I always open presents with the gifter, papa always says every year it's the polite thing to do. I told papa I would wait until you got back. I thought he would be happy but all he did was cry." 

Louis feels his own heart start to beat faster as Lachlan begins reminiscing on the day Louis would rather forget. Seeing the way his little lip trembles Louis gives him a hug before pulling back to look at him once again as he begins to explain some more.  

"I told him not to be sad anymore, I told him you wouldn't be gone long and I was right. I knew u would come back for me one day Loulou, I knew it. I knew it"

Ouch. 

There's a tight pinch in his chest, so much so, that Louis genuinely thinks he is having a heart attack for a split second. How could such a small boy be filled with so much love and reasoning? He may be young in age but Lachlan already has so much wisdom and empathy for others, he internally praises Harry for raising him so well. He has tried extremely hard not to fall apart, he can not and will not fall apart in front of him again, he won't do that to him no more. He quickly wipes his face when he feels a couple of built-up tears stroll down his cheeks.  

"You didn't have to wait for me sweetheart, I wanted nothing more than for you to enjoy it. Oh, baby I just want to squeeze you forever come here."

Lachlan tightens his grip on Louis as he sniffles loudly. He never imagined this could have happened. He wants no more of this as it's killing him to believe his son had to endure all this on the one day of the year when he should've been at his most happiest. He tries to lighten the mood.

" Let's unwrap this beauty and have a play shall we?"

Forty minutes later when Harry returns, he enters the front door and places his keys down on the kitchen bench. He can't see Lachlan yet but he can most definitely hear him. The noise should make him smile, but instead, he is overcome with extreme joy causing himself to become still, a hand clasped to his mouth as tears begin to quickly form. He hasn't heard Lachlan laugh so much in such a long time. A real genuine belly-clenching laugh. The whole time Louis had been absent Lachlan wasn't the same little boy he had always been. No matter how hard Harry tried to get their 
'Pre Louis' lives back to normal nothing had worked and he had tried everything. 

It's only now, that Harry fully understands that Louis was, and still is, the only person who could fill the void that had been made in his little boys heart. Sometimes he had previously thought their fast connection was a bit odd but also a miracle. Now as he knows the truth of it all, he not only understands it better but he loves and admires it.

Snatching a tissue he blows his nose and throws it in the bin. Bad timing suddenly hits them all when Harry turns around at the exact moment seeing Lachlan fall out the side of the cart through the kitchen window. Any sentimental thoughts he had just encountered are soon replaced with parental fear as he bolts out the back door. 

" Darling are you ok?" He shouts gaining the attention of Louis and Lachlan who turn to him laughing.

He feels like an idiot when Lachlan brightly shows his teeth, his hands clapping together as he flickers his eyes between his papa and his Loulou. 

" THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD PAPA !!!  Come and have a look, come see, come see!!" 

He smiles at his son who excitedly collects himself from the grass shuffling back into the seat. He gazes at Louis who shares a sympathetic smile. An exchange of words was spoken with no mouths being opened about the present that had somewhat affected them all.

****************

" Lou?"

Louis had only just turned out his bedside light minutes ago when he hears a knock on his door. Harry enters on through,  his hand rubbing the back of his neck. 

" Can I sit for a moment?"

Louis sits up and Harry takes that as his cue to enter. After all the distance between them today he opts to sit further down at the end of the bed. 

" Have I done something wrong?" 

Not wanting to prolong whatever it was he felt was happening to them, he doesn't beat around the bush instead aiming straight for the point. 

Louis is biting the inside of his cheeks as he concentrates on how he is going to approach what it is that is bothering him. Watching Harry texting on his phone all day had done nothing to reassure him that Harry wasn't involved with someone else. He feels scared, worried, and terrified that Harry is moving on and that he will once again end up pregnant and alone. His eyes are heavy, tired, and sore. The headache he woke up with this morning from the lack of sleep last night is still lingering. With a loud sigh, he turns to Harry and shouts a little louder than he had intended

" WHO THE FUCK IS KENDALL?" 

To say Harry's mouth dropped open would be an understatement. He has no idea how Louis knows about her.

" Um...How do you -" 

" Does it matter how I know? Are you sleeping with her?"

Louis' voice has softened, his voice cracking, sad at the thought of Harry giving his heart to someone other than himself.

" I .... " 

There are no maps for how to live our lives, nor are there any blueprints for survival tips. We create the world we live in, by making decisions. 

Good decisions, bad decisions, indecisive decisions, right and wrong decisions. Trying to decide which bridge to cross and what bridge to burn lays right next to lying or telling the truth. 

" No of course not. She's just a friend. Is that why you shut me out today?" 

Louis doesn't have a chance to reply and he can thank Lachlan for saving him as his bedroom door  creaks open. Lachlan is standing there rubbing his eyes, his teddy bear clasped in one hand. 

" Hey, buddy. You alright? You need the toilet?" Harry asks still sitting at the foot of the bed. 

When Lachlan shakes his head no Harry tries again. 

" You want a water or -" 

He stops when Louis interrupts him. 

" I know what he wants." 

Pulling back the blanket, Lachlan runs and jumps into the space next to him.

" Oh." 
Harry realizes and stands to his feet kissing the boy's head who is now curled up and yawning.

" Harry I'm really tired, you mind closing the door on the way out."

" Sure"

Flicking the light off, he looks between the pair before slowly exiting the room. The moment he closes the door, he frowns and feels a tad emotional because all he wants right now is to be in that bed also, cuddled up with ALL of his babies. 

Stripping down to his boxers, he lays in bed thinking of the right words to say. He picks up the phone and sends a quick text. 

To Kendall: 
" It was one time. One time only, now please leave me alone."  

****************

A/N

I'm

sorry for the shorter chapter I was 3/4 way through when I burnt the 

bottom

of my thumb on an oven dish preventing me from typing. 

Please send your sympathies to 

Cryinglikeachild.com 😂

And just like our favorite little hobbit Loulou, I will provide proof to show you I'm not lying 😂😂😂

P.s Hope you enjoyed the chapter

♡♡♡

![](https://img.wattpad.com/b07fb89acede65a9793fc814e1bef495a2dd132c/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f724d61683161576c4a4f555664513d3d2d313239363039343234302e313733353930636532383130656332613336323239373637323036362e6a7067)

Also aasiiee, no 

cliffhanger

just for you! 😘



There is still more discussion and explanations between them that will come in the next chapter :)

# Chapter 17 - 👶 Or 👶👶

A/N 

Leave your predictions here 

single baby or twins
?

👶

Also
, 
I

just want to share this picture I just found. This kid model that I randomly chose to play Lachlan 

posted

this picture. He was clearly meant 

to

play Louis' son. Look at the design and name of his shirt, 

I'm

dying over here.

💀💀💀

![](https://img.wattpad.com/bd1b504fe7166aaf85557ebf2d1b14f2e7d5920d/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f79492d52474b43634654544876413d3d2d313330303533373033372e313733366232623436383730373431633538383736343735303132312e6a7067)

Anyway

, back to the new chapter. Enjoy! Hope you all feel better after this chapter.

**************** 

'
Loving someone without taking risks is impossible, it's a little bit like going to fight a war and not expecting any deaths. To truly love someone we must remove our armor because to experience a true connection with that special person we must endure the risk of possibly being wounded.' 

" You ready?" 

" Not really, no." 

Louis' leg is bouncing erratically as they sit in the carpark having arrived 15 minutes early for their much-anticipated scan. He shouldn't be nervous, the lady had said everything was fine a few weeks ago. So why does the prospect of two babies scare him more than anything else? 

Harry can tell by his usual tell tale signs that he is freaking out. What he isn't sure of is why because he himself is excited. He had trouble sleeping last night, he has always prayed for a baby of his own but to be blessed with not one but two, would be nothing short of a miracle. 

It's a natural instinct for Harry who rests his hand on Louis' thigh turning to face him entirely. He figures Louis may need a little bit of reassurance, so he tries his best to calm him down. 

"Hey. One baby or two Lou, it doesn't change anything for me, you know that right? I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Whether it's one baby's bum to wipe or a pair, nothing changes ok. If by any God given chance it's twins, yeah it may be double the work but it will also be double the love." 

He isn't sure if it was what he needed to hear but Louis does seem to loosen up. There's a hint of a smile, even though it still looks coated with worry. 

"That's ok for you to say Harry you have had practice, me on the other hand, what if I suck at this? What if" 

He stops when he realizes he is allowing Harry to hear his biggest fear, his insecurities. He doesn't want to be the one responsible for making this appointment gloomy, so bracing the best smile he can he chugs down the remainder of his water. 

"Fucking hell, I'm gonna piss myself in a minute this feels horrible."

It makes Harry happy to see the change of attitude and something comes across his mind making him smirk. 

" You wanna make this interesting hmm, how about a bet?" 

The way Harry sticks his tongue out the side of his mouth so cocky has Louis wanting to reach over and bite it. 
If only he could.

" Really styles?" 

It spiked his curiosity so he decides to play along. 

" Alright alright, what do you have in mind?" 

Unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping outside the vehicle Harry joins Louis around the other side where he grins widely. 

" I think you are having twins and you think there's definitely only one, correct?" 

Nodding his head yes, Louis pulls Harry's arm silently instructing him to multitask, to speak and walk as they proceed across the car park.

" Yes Harry, hurry up and explain we are almost there. " 

"Ok ok. If I am correct and I win" 

Harry holds his breath for a second debating which option to take. He has two things in mind, one involves a restaurant and the other involves money. Wanting to play it safe and not willing to be risky he chooses option two. Knowing how Louis feels about money having spoken about 'savings' months ago when they had first met, spoiling his new child feels like a right of passage. 

"You have to allow me to buy whatever I wish for their nursery with no spending limit..........and for you as well." He tacks onto the end, coying away slightly unsure of what reaction he is about to be faced with. 

The way Louis puts his arm out firmly across Harry's chest to stop him from walking tells him enough, he isn't going to agree. 

" Ah No! No way Harry. I don't mind you buying stuff but don't go overboard it's not necessary. Less is more." 

Louis can't help his thoughts. Thinking of a nursery gives him goosebumps, it makes it all feel so real but what bothers him is the nursery itself. Nursery at his house or nursery at Harry's or both. Yep, without a doubt, it has to be both. That sets off a chain of distress as he begins to overthink about things such as 

who has the baby and for how long? Exchange overs and drop-offs.

He can feel his heart begin to race when Harry's voice finally snaps him out of it. 

" Well?" 

" Well, what?" He rushes back.

" What happens if you win?" 

With only a short amount of eye contact, Louis turns away and begins to walk. Harry senses Louis wants to say something but has chickened out.

" Lou, stop. What if you win?" 

Louis does have something on the tip of his tongue. However, it scares him to ask not knowing if it's too soon. Harry isn't going to let it go so Louis says it so fast he is surprised that Harry understood it. 

" If I win, you have to let me have Lachlan for the weekend at my house, just him and I." 

Stunned is what he is. For reasons he can't explain, Harry had expected something silly like foot massages or anything involving fast food but this.........this was unexpected. 

"Oh." 

With Harry not saying much else, Louis quickly continues inside to the reception waiting area where he collects a magazine to appear 'busy'. He knows by the silence he shouldn't have said it, shouldn't have asked it. It was stupid of him, or was it? The idea of testing his parenting ability on his own was his only intention but to Harry, the fear of losing Lachlan came rushing back. He thought long and hard for the next 10 minutes, the silence between them once again unsettling them both. 

" Mr Tomlinson." 

Both standing at the same time, they share a quick gaze as Harry exhales before making a hand gesture for Louis to walk ahead of him. Sitting down in the chairs, the doctor proceeds to ask about how he is going with symptoms, what he is eating like, any concerns, and all the usual questions you would expect. When Louis is asked to lay on the bed to measure his bump Harry begins to get a wee bit excited. Noting everything down the lady excuses herself and informs the pair that the radiographer will be in shortly. 

They didn't have to wait because as the door opened for her to leave another lady was walking in. Louis had hoped it would have been Katie the same girl from last time but today he wasn't that lucky. A tall woman with sandy-colored hair that had been thrown up into a high ponytail looking roughly in her early thirties, comes waltzing through the door. 

" Good..." she looks down at her watch. 
" Morning. Yep, still morning. How are you both, excited? My name is Kali and I will be doing your scan today, any questions?" 

Harry is first to shake her hand, his excitement from before slowly diminishing as he becomes nervous about the scan. Louis smiles at her when she gets out the gel. 

" I hate this part" Louis states while lifting his t-shirt. 

" Most people do hun. Here, I will see if I can get it warmer for you." 

She rubs the tube between her hands creating some friction as Louis laughs. 

" How's that?" 

" Much better, thank you." He says opening his eyes after the initial contact. 

While Kali plays around setting up the machine, Harry takes the opportunity to lean over to Louis' ear just in time before Kali is ready to proceed. 

"You are on Tomlinson, it's a deal." 

With a clear proud smirk, Louis keeps his eyes glued to the screen. It feels like it's taking forever, or at least it seems that way for Harry. Kali is flipping the screen and moving it so quickly in many directions, Harry can't see anything recognizable just yet. 

" So the records here show Mr Capaldi expected there was the possibility of twins." 

" That's correct." Harry replies before Louis even had a chance to speak. 

"But there's only one in there right?" Louis replies. 

Moving the Doppler around once more she turns the screen to both of them for a better view. 

" First off, measurements are all correct and on point. Now if you look here." kali points to the image where she has typed on the screen.
" I hope you are happy with the results." 

With raised eyebrows, Harry and Louis are both semi shocked. 

" Can I grab some pictures please?" 

"Absolutely, no worries. I will be back in a minute." 

The moment Harry hears the door close behind her, he turns to Louis promptly. 

" Don't fucking say it." Louis warns with a smirk. 

" Told ya so!" 
Harry laughs out loud clapping his hands together. The atmosphere is so much more relaxed now with Louis himself not believing how calmer he feels after his almost panic attack earlier on. 

" Sorry I didn't mean to take too long. Hope this is enough." 

Kali re-enters the room handing them both 3 prints each. 

"Thank you" They say in unison. 

After booking his next appointment for eight weeks time, for his 20-week scan, he and Harry share a blissful fixed look when Kali explains that next visit they can discover the genders if they wish. 

After finally getting to pee before they leave, Louis is quick to suggest stopping to get something for lunch before dropping him at home. Harry can't stop grinning as he drives along the busy streets, Louis too until he remembers the bet he had just lost. It stings a little but soon regains his happiness when he once again looks down at the picture in his hand. 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/ba36bd2649c51f899d20e3ae95dd1af1bf6ab9db/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f61733847414b61427551616375773d3d2d313330303533373033372e313733363333343033303765313232663238313632353736343131302e6a7067)

" I would be glad to get you some food but we have somewhere else to go first. It won't take too long. I hope." 

Louis rolls his eyes because he is ninety nine percent sure, he has worked out where they are currently headed. 

" Harry. It's literally been ten minutes." 

Trying not to laugh Harry bares the fakest serious face he can. 

" I only want a few items, a couple of pieces of clothing maybe, some bottles and what about some-" 

" Ok, I get it. Just make it quick I'm starving." Louis reacts trying to sound annoyed but smiles playfully anyway. 

*****************

The following Friday.

" See you Monday Kev!" Louis shouts from the front counter as he collects his stuff to leave. It's been a long and busy afternoon and he looks forward to doing absolutely nothing for the next two days. He isn't going to Holmes chapel this weekend much to Harry's disappointment but he did understand Louis' desire to save money even when Harry doesn't feel he needs to. 

He is just opening up a container of strawberries to eat while he waits for his tv dinner to finish heating in the microwave when he hears his phone start ringing in the other room. It's 5.40 pm and when Louis sees Harry's name flash across the screen he lets out a chuckle because he could almost guarantee Harry is going to try one last time to get him to visit. 

" You are really persistent if you are calling for the reason I think you are, either that or you miss me more than you lead on." 

Scrunching up his own face hating the way his tongue delivered the words so casually, he face palms himself because what the fuck did he just imply? Thank God, it was taken lightly as Harry laughs at Louis' sassiness. 

" What? No hello? Very funny Lou, nice to speak to you too" he teases back. 

Louis finds that his inner teenager is reignited within, as he begins to play with a piece of his hair while listening, eager for more conversation. 

" Well, what can I say then besides, what do I owe this pleasure?" 

Louis hears the microwave beep and quickly approaches it to open the door. He pulls off the clear plastic, the steam almost burning his fingers. 

" Well funny you should ask. Are you free this weekend? Like, you are not busy are you?" 

Collecting a fork he places a piece of broccoli into his mouth cursing instantly as it burns. 

" Ahh shit." 

" Oh, so you are busy?" 

" What? No, sorry um I just burnt myself" 

" Burnt! Open up your door!" 

" Huh?" 

'

Ding Dong

' 

Using the tea towel to wipe the food from around his mouth, he took a quick look into the small wall mirror to fix his hair. Opening up the door he saw something he wasn't expecting. 

" LOULOU !!!" The shout echoes through his apartment. 

Lachlan opens his arms ready to be caught as he jumps up colliding with Louis' torso.

" Hey!! be careful there buddy" 

Frowning at his papa not understanding why Harry had just scorned him, he is quick to retaliate. 

" He is fine Papa, he is strong." 

Louis winks at Harry reassuring him everything was ok.

" What are you guys doing here? I'm so happy to see you." Louis tickles all over Lachlan's stomach as he laughs. 

" Don't be silly Loulou, I'm sleeping over, you know that!" he giggles. 

There are so many reasons to be happy in life. Sweet pleasant unexpected surprises are high on that list. As Lachlan squirms to get down, he takes off into the other room, presumably to jump on Louis' bed. 

With neither of them saying anything, Louis doesn't care if it's inappropriate or not. He walks over wrapping his arms tightly around Harry as he whispers into Harry's ear. 

" But I didn't win." 

Harry lifts the side of his lips as he half smiles so seriously. 

" You won, the moment you birthed him, Lou." 

Louis squeezes him tighter followed by mouthing a sincere 
"Thank you." 

He has to pull away fast though as the sound of Lachlan dropping something makes them both jump. It sounds like glass and Louis runs knowing exactly what it is he has reached for. As expected, when he enters the kitchen the top lid of the cookie jar is resting on the bench, luckily still all in one piece. 

" I was just looking at them Papa, that part fell off all on its own, I'm not lying papa, I promise." 

It's not a convincing lie and Harry knows it's far from the truth but he looks to Louis to encourage him to handle it. After all, the best way to become more confident in being a parent is to gain some experience first hand. 

Louis however doesn't want to tell him off but he does so, to try and prove himself to Harry. 

" Baby listen to me. This lid here is made of glass. If it had rolled any further off the counter it would have smashed and you could have been really injured. Next time, you need to ask papa or me for help ok?" 

Lachlan shakes his head acknowledging he has understood. 

" Ok I will, but I never touched the lid" he says a little cranky. 

He is very tired that Louis can tell by the redness in his cheeks and the way he starts rubbing at his eyes. Harry begins to walk past Louis. 

" See, you are a natural." 

Louis feels a sense of pride in that, happy that Harry has complimented him. 

" You sure this is ok? I really should have asked first before coming here but I wanted to surprise you. I had this grand entrance planned and then you went and freaked me out with the whole burning yourself thing." 

That brings a smile out of him. 

" Sorry about that, but you have no idea how thrilled I am he is here, truly." 

Picking up Lachlan to give him a hug goodbye, Harry looks him in the eyes, Lachlan not batting an eyelid as he listens on intently. 

" You be on your best behavior for Louis alright? Be good and do as you are told. Understood? " 

Lachlan leans forward kissing his papa's cheek. 

" Yes Papa, Love you." 

" I love you too." 

Harry lowers his little backpack onto the floor and digs into his pocket pulling out and handing over a piece of paper. 

"Train tickets for you two on Sunday. Also, since it's a public holiday on Monday, I thought you could stay Sunday night and come back Monday."

Louis just smiles as he watches Lachlan start eating the cookies, only catching a small handful of what Harry was saying. 

Lachlan gasps as he looks at Louis. 

"These are sooo good Loulou but......." 

"But what?" Louis is curious as to why he had stopped mid-sentence. 

"I'm sorry Loulou but you got to stop eating all these cookies, you are becoming too fat." 

He says it so seriously looking down pointing towards Louis' small rounded tummy that is more evident in his tight tee. 

" Oh." 
Louis struggles with what to say to that comment.

"Baby that's not why Louis-" 

Shaking his head no, not wanting this to be the moment they tell him, Louis interrupts him. 

" You are right. No more cookies for me." 

Yep, Harry and Louis share the look. Lachlan needs to be told sooner rather than later. 

**************** 

It's been two hours since Harry left. He is halfway home and Louis knows this to be true when he receives a message. They always stop halfway at the garage to stretch and refuel. 

They are currently sitting in their PJs watching the cartoon channel and it all feels so surreal. Looking at the message Louis is filled with so much warmthness. A deep appreciation for the words, even when he thinks it must be a typo. 

From Harry. 
" Have fun, you deserve this. Kiss him good night for me. Look after our boy." 

'
Our boy'

Bending down he kisses the top of Lachlan's head who is sitting on his lap. 

" What's that for?" 

" From papa." 

" Silly papa." 

Lachlan turns around to face him.

" Hey Loulou, can I tell you a secret?" 

Intrigued, Louis complies.

" Of course." 

Lowering his head a little he talks softly. 

" It was me who lifted the lid off." 

There's no containing himself as Louis bursts out laughing. 

" Oh baby, I know, I know you did." 

" How did you know? See I told you once before, you always know everything." 

Laughing once more Louis stands up and makes his way to the kitchen, where he opens up a cupboard door collecting a few goodies. Oreos, Cheetos, and chocolate just to name a few. 

Lachlan is startled, a hundred percent astonished at what Louis is carrying in his hands. After finally closing his jaw, Lachlan's face drops. 

" Papa says no junk food except for -" 

" Wednesdays, yes I remember but......" 

Lachlan smiled, his top teeth pressing down into his bottom ones as he awaits in anticipation. 

" Papa isn't here, is he?" 

Gasping, Lachlan starts the long process of deciding which item he wants to eat first. 

" You are so naughty Loulou." he giggles.

" I won't tell if you don't tell." 

" Deal"
" Deal" 

***************

No amount of sleep in the world would be able to cure the tiredness he feels, but he wouldn't have it any other way. The last two nights had flown by and after a very long train ride home Lachlan and Louis are currently waiting for Harry to pick them up at the train station.

The memories, the photos, the laughs, the stories, every single part of their weekend together felt nothing but serenity. The only part he seemed to really struggle with, was when Lachlan was asleep because he found his mind kept drifting off to Harry, constantly worrying about what he was up to with his time alone. 

" There you are, you are back!" 

Harry's voice makes them both turn around. 

" Papa!" 

Harry seemed delighted to have his son return home as he ruffles his hair. 

" I missed you so much little man, did you miss me?" 

Lachlan sometimes doesn't know when to hold his tongue. 

" Not really, Loulou let me have -" 

Louis is quick to nudge him with his hip softly making him come to a halt and start giggling, only now remembering their promise. 

" Yes, Papa I did."

During the entire trip home Harry has to listen to Lachlan inform him of all the reasons he loves Louis' house more than his own. It's a little awkward but comical at the same time. 

The moment they walk through the front door, Lachlan races for the bathroom in desperate need of a pee. Louis without realizing what he is doing starts to unpack Lachlan's bag dumping his dirty clothes into the washing machine and turning it on. Harry won't admit how natural and 'at home' he looks and it does something to his stomach. Pushing the feeling aside, he uses the short time alone to question how things went. 

" So you survived?" 

Louis scoffs.

" I mean yeah, but whether I did everything right or not is another question altogether." 

Harry can't let his lack of self confidence cloud his parental skills anymore. 

" Is he alive?"

Confused at the question he looks over to where Lachlan has now settled himself on the lounge room floor with toys. 

"Yes"

"Is he hurt?"

Looking again he mutters.

"No"

"Did he sleep?"

"Yes."

"Did u feed him?"

A little outraged by that, he snaps.

" Of course, I fed him."

"Ok. Is he upset? Does he appear sad?"

"No." 

"What the hell are you worried about then? You have successfully parented for an entire weekend all on your own, so stop worrying. Sounds to me like you not only did everything right but you kept him very entertained. He had fun." 

He lowers his voice turning slightly to avoid his stare as he hushes out the last part. 

" You are going to be a good daddy, Lou."

No one can 'touch' words but words can 'touch' one's own heart and soul. Louis has now accepted, all thanks to Harry, that yes, maybe this parenting gig won't be so hard after all.

****************

The next week moves incredibly fast. It might have something to do with the way Harry has been messaging every day. It's been mostly pictures of nursery furniture and clothes he wishes to purchase but it's done nothing but keep Louis entertained all week, especially the playful banter that's been thrown back and forth regarding it all.

It has been decided by the pair that this weekend Harry is going to tell the lads about Louis and the pregnancy. Harry understood the reasons why Louis wishes not to be there. He doesn't need the added stress and quite frankly he is rather scared of Niall. Waiting until the ball has been dropped and letting it all settle down first before seeing him again, he thinks is the best way to go about it to keep everyone calm and collected. 

It's Saturday evening and Harry is due to leave to meet the boys in just over two hours. Feeling lazy today after being up late chatting into the early hours with Lou, Harry ordered Chinese takeaway for dinner. With Lachlan amused with his iPad upstairs, H and L are left to their own devices. 

" Yuk. How do you eat that? Don't you find it a little slimy?" 

Louis stares at the bok choy Harry is currently sliding down his throat. Louis isn't going to deny the naughty thoughts he had while watching either. He hasn't touched himself in a while and his current pregnancy hormones are not helping with his horniness either. Whether it is the way Louis zones in on Harry's mouth or the slight groan that emits from his lips due to the craving he desires, unknowingly, Harry picks up on what's happening. Until today, any sexual banter or play had been off-topic. Harry can only assume 
'
what's the harm?'

He picks up another piece, this time much more slowly and seductively. He lowers the vegetable down into his mouth never breaking eye contact. 

With Louis not being able to tear his gaze away, he coughs trying to avoid the heat filtrating his groin. He turns around when he feels himself blushing, not wanting Harry to see. With Harry loving the newfound sense of teasing he tries pushing it a little further to test the waters. 

Placing himself right behind Louis who is pressed up close to the island bench, he turns Louis around immediately breaking out a smirk. 

" Open wide"

Confused, Louis dares to be smart. 

" I mean, you have already dined me, so, if you wish." He spreads his legs a little allowing a little bit of room for Harry to enter. 

Thrown back by the forwardness, Harry drops the bok choy out of his hand that was hidden behind his back, the original purpose of shoving it into Louis' mouth, now null and void as a different kind of hunger takes over. He grabs the side of Louis' face with both hands swarming forward compressing their chests together in one swift motion, the hardness of Louis' cock pressing straight into his thigh. 

With no care for any repercussions, he smashes their lips together hungrily. Harry's natural pheromones are driving Louis crazy as he thrusts a little onto his leg as he licks across Harry's lips, the smell of bok choy being disregarded completely as he deepens the kiss. Harry's hands have started to wander and when he makes contact with Louis' rock hard bulge he gives it a tight squeeze causing Louis to cuss softly.

" Fuck, Harry. This is so nice but Lachy." 

Harry let's go stepping back because '
shit'
, He had forgotten how Louis makes him lose all his senses, an ability he really wishes Louis didn't have over him.

" Sorry. Yeah, you're right. That shouldn't have happened. Sorry I don't know why I did that." 

Now Louis is mad. He thought that showing he could be the responsible parent would work in his favor not against him. Louis leans forward taking Harry's hand into his own. It's now or never. Taking risks has never been his strong suit but if he wants things to progress with Harry he needs to let him know how he feels. 

Without a second doubt and not leaving no time to change his mind, now with no rush and need, he gently connects their lips once more, taking his time to taste the saltiness of Harry's lips.

" I've missed you so much Harry, don't, please don't say it shouldn't have happened. Please H just. Please give me another chance. A chance to prove myself. A chance to show you how much you mean to me." 

It's barely audible but he hears Harry's labored breath as he talks. 

"Lou"

Staring down at their joined hands, he caresses Louis' fingers. Saying no to Louis is starting to become a difficult task. He hates still feeling like this, that what he wants with Louis can't possibly happen as it's all still tainted by their past actions. 

" I want you, Harry. I feel like half my heart is missing when I'm not with you. Your smile, your laugh, your kindness. You complete me H, I love you. Let me back in please" 

There he has said it, out in the open, plain and simple putting his heart on his sleeve. The silence Harry is giving is killing him as he feels his legs begin to tremble nervously. 

" I want you to Lou but....shit." 

Running a hand through his hair he looks at the time.

" I've got to shower or I'm going to be late. Talk later, yeah?" 

Harry sidesteps around him making no effort to look back. He knows it's a cop-out, not having any idea on what to say. 
Taking his time in the shower to try and clear his thoughts, he is clueless about Louis who is crying downstairs..... but Lachlan isn't.

"what's the matter Loulou? Why are you sad for?" 

He hadn't heard him creep up behind him. Quickly wiping his face discreetly, he tells a little lie. Those who think it is permissible to tell little white lies, soon become color-blind because a lie, any lie, is still a lie. 

" Nothing sweetheart I'm just so happy to be here." 

When Harry finally emerges into the living room, Louis has to double look, as his outfit takes his breath away. Knowing he is going out to a bar looking like that sends shivers down his spine, especially when fucking Kendall pops back into his mind. 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/d65082c1f50570601233a535113f92e9f8c13196/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f544f374e2d794867363535452d673d3d2d313330303533373033372e313733363763646562646530373461643931353134363436333837372e6a7067)

" I'm ready to go, you sure you don't want to come? I can call someone to watch Lachy."

Standing up Louis collects the dirty cups from the coffee table and heads to the kitchen where he plans to do the dishes to keep his mind occupied. Harry can sense the melancholy that's been put between them and he doesn't want to leave like this. He follows through to the kitchen where Louis turns to face him.

" Have fun." 

It's short and sharp and Harry doesn't like it at all but he keeps calm as he walks over closer. He knows they need to talk more but he also wants to reassure him. He has no words to say, nothing coming to mind. Allowing his forehead to rest against his, he whispers. 

" Don't be upset with me, please. I won't be too long." 

He to takes a risk and kisses his forehead softly before retreating away. 

**************** 

It's 11.55 pm when Louis gives up and decides to go to bed. He has waited up this long thinking Harry would have been back ages ago.

He has been thinking all night and he has come to a conclusion. He wants to tell Harry something but he knows he can't do it face to face. He doesn't think he would be able to control himself if he does and he doesn't want Harry to see any more tears. Crying is all he does these days and he has had enough of it. He has found the courage to say what it is he wants to say, so if it has to go through via text then so be it. What has he got to lose?

Absolutely everything
. 

He begins to type out the longest message he has ever written. 

To Harry.......

*************** 

Arriving at the bar, Harry waited for as long as he could to announce his news. Everyone was in such a great mood including Niall and he feared spoiling it all but after the first hour, he couldn't keep it in any longer.

It took a couple of weeks of planning to decide on how to tell his mates. He had a little photo shoot with Lachlan and is grateful the boy can not read or spell. With Louis agreeing to the idea, Harry made up a sign and brought some balloons. He didn't want something too over the top for his best friends and this felt just right, just enough to get the message across. 

" So I have news that I've been really wanting to share with you for a few weeks now but things kept getting in the way." 

With Liam and Zayn eagerly awaiting more info, Niall looks to the center of the table his eyes fixated on a coaster looking concerned. He wishes Louis was here, he needs a hand.....his hand to hold. He sucks in a deep breath, placing the larger photo down in the middle of the table. As they say, actions speak louder than words.

![](https://img.wattpad.com/cfef3ef6a2d75bb020d98800f31751d3a60fa28e/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f306f7648597954766c59616a65773d3d2d313330303533373033372e313733363832316261303237643261653435333934303832363039302e6a7067)

Liam is the first to move picking it up and gasping, to which draws Zayn's attention who also appears shocked. Niall is yet to move. 

" You are adopting another baby!?!?" 

Liam shouts excitedly causing Harry to frown. Niall reaches over now ready to view said photo. 

" Harry, when did you decide this? I bet Lachlan is so thrilled." Liam states standing up with the intent to hug him but Harry stops him. 

"No guys, stop you need to listen to me. I'm not adopting." 

They all frown confused..........except Niall who is quick to join the dots. 

"Louis is pregnant." 

He hates that this feels so hard, he has never been in this type of position where he was worried about what his closest mates thought of him. It's never been that way between them all before. 

" He is. Twins actually." 

Liam jumps up out of his chair which falls to the ground, running around the table to embrace him. 

" Shit mate, congrats for real. Twins that's insane. How far along is he?" 

" 12 weeks" 

" You hid this for 12 weeks ?" Zayn adds as he too wraps his arms around Harry. 

" Crazy huh." Harry smiles.

Niall is still sitting at the table not yet having moved an inch. He really wants to be happy for Harry he truly does. There's nothing more he wants than to see his best mate in love and enjoying life. He used to think Louis was it for him but now, he can't say he agrees anymore. 

" You sure he is Harry or is it another lie?" Niall spits out.

It makes Harry want to cry. The boys don't know the truth behind Louis' actions like he does and it's not his place to say anything making it very hard to defend him. 

" He is." He reaches into his jean pocket pulling out the ultrasound photo he had tucked in there earlier. He extends his arm out to hand it to him but Niall doesn't acknowledge it. 

Harry nods his head lightly, turning promptly to head for the bar. He knew Niall would be upset but he didn't expect he would go this far. Liam follows close behind witnessing the way Harry was sad and determined for a drink.

" You don't get it Liam, do you understand how happy I am? You guys are not clueless as to how much I've wanted my own children and Niall......" 

Choking back tears, Harry begins to break down as Liam places a hand on his shoulder. 

" He loves you, he is just worried. He is being a dick right now but I'm sure deep down he is happy for you. Just give him time to process it." 

He looks back over to where Niall still hasn't budged. Ordering some drinks he is quick to down shot after shot. Liam looks at Zayn a little worried at the amount of alcohol he is consuming. 

" Are you and Louis like, you know, together? You sorted everything out?"

It's a conversation he would normally close off from and avoid but now that there's vodka burning through his veins he doesn't hold back. He tells Liam and Zayn everything, how excited he is, how lucky he feels that Lachlan will have some siblings, and most importantly his worries. 

" I love him. I fucking love him so bad it hurts but how, one of you please tell me, how am I supposed to forget all this? Forget the lies, forget the deceit forget the fact he is Lachlan's real daddy. One of you PLEASE FUCKING HELP ME!" 

Sliding down to the floor Harry cries uncontrollably on the ground while Liam and Zayn work effortlessly to get him back up onto his feet. 

" Harry. Sit. Breathe in, breathe out." 

Liam instructs Zayn to fetch him a glass of water. 

" I can't win Li. If I commit to Louis I'm going to lose my best friend. If I let Louis go, to keep Niall happy, I lose the love of my life." 

Liam goes on to explain to Harry that if he loves Louis he needs to do what he feels is right in his heart. He tells him that Harry has the most forgiving soul of anyone he knows and that he deserves to be happy in this life after all he has been through. 

Over at the table, Niall watches on as Harry crumbles and falls apart. It breaks his heart knowing he is the cause for the tears this time. Years and years of friendship and he hates himself for the way he has just acted. The problem is now, he doesn't know how to apologize or address it. He doesn't want to just go over there and make a scene, he decides to wait and try to grab Harry alone at some point. 

Harry's phone is on the table in front of him when it illuminates. A text message from Louis. He can see the first couple of words. For a moment he contemplates deleting it before Harry sees it but he looks over seeing Harry hug Liam tightly. Zayn is approaching the table so he has about 10 seconds to decide on what to do. 

He stands up and walks away. Liam can see Niall approaching and prays to God this is going to go smoothly. The pair stare at each other for what seemed like hours before Niall reached out and hugged him. Harry nearly breaks one of his ribs with how tightly he holds on. 

" I'm sorry for being a prick, I really am. If you are happy with Louis then I can learn to accept that. You are an amazing person Harry and I really am excited for you, it's a dream come true, Congratulations man. " 

Harry smiles hard looking towards the bartender.

' A beer for my best mate, please' he yells hugging into his side once again. 

" Your phone has been vibrating by the way. I think Louis is trying to reach you." 

Thinking the worse Harry TRIES to run, but instead, he stumbles back towards the table. Picking it up, he squints his eyes as he attempts to read it. 

It takes him a tad longer to read than it normally would, with all the boys now seated back around the table, all staring at Harry waiting to see if everything is ok. When Harry looks to the three sets of eyes that are all piercing him, he cries. 

"Please take me home to my boys." 

Liam understands immediately that Harry is too far gone to drive. He opts to drive Harry's car while zayn follows to collect Liam. 

On the drive back, all is quiet as Harry can't take his eyes away from the message because he doesn't know how to feel about it. Should he be happy? Glad? Reassured? He doesn't know but for some reason whatever it is he feels, his heart feels somewhat mended. 

To Harry:

" I've been sitting here for hours trying to gather any ideas on how to tell you how much I love you. But then I realized I don't need to do that, because you already know I'm all yours. It wasn't until I thought back to something you said to me on Christmas day that made me realize what it is you really need to hear. It isn't how much I love you or how sorry I am for deceiving you. You once said to me ' 
did you just use me to get closer to Lachlan
' As much as I love and adore him, I'm not just here for Lachlan Harry, I'm here for you. YOU were the one who looked at me with those beautiful eyes, YOU were the one who made me smile, YOU made me laugh, YOU made me feel special and loved. YOU Harry. It always has been and always will be YOU. I only ever wanted to see Lachlan once and I was willing to walk away but then you came along and stole my fucking heart from the very first hello and...... I love you H. I love you and this little family we have created. To prove to you how much you mean to me and that loving you wasn't just about Lachlan, I have made a decision. This is something I have thought very hard about and I insist on it. If you and I do decide to give things another shot, Lachlan is to never know I am his real daddy, you are his parent Harry, you always have been. I didn't ever expect him to find out, it was never my intention. I am happy to just be his "Loulou" forever. I've missed you so much. I should have come with you tonight and for that, I am very sorry. Please be safe, Love Louis. XOXO "

**************

Making sure Harry entered the front door safely, Liam exits the property with Zayn, the car quietly making its way down the long driveway. He needs water before bed as his lips are dry from the alcohol. He knows he smells a little and he even thinks of doing his teeth but he can't be fucked. His head is spinning and a headache is already forming but all he has his heart set on doing is going to see Louis. 

Opening up the bedroom door slowly and quietly as he can, he walks over to the side where Louis is currently sleeping, his body facing the outside of the bed. Feeling a tear fall down his cheek as he watches him, Harry stands there and admires all of his beauty. His long eyelashes, the magnificent cheekbones, his soft hair, his rounded belly. 

His belly

Falling down to his knees, he carefully leans forward pressing his lips to Louis' stomach. It's the first time he has done this and he more than likely won't remember it but he kisses his belly not once but twice. 
"Papa loves you so much." 

" Who are you talking to?" 

Harry jumps backwards falling to his ass at the unexpected voice that sat up from behind Louis' back. 

" Lachy baby, shit you scared me. I mean Sshhh darling, don't wake Loulou I was just saying goodnight." 

Lachlan thinks for a minute with dreary eyes at how weird it was to say goodnight to someone's belly. He thinks it's a funny thing for someone to do but lays back down too tired to worry about it any further. 

Kicking off his shoes quickly, he crawls onto the bed cuddling up behind Lachlan who is now sandwiched in the middle. Just like every other night, Louis feels Lachlan place a kiss to the middle of his back and his words from a long time ago resurface again.

"Good night daddy"

Louis is awake hearing everything as he pretends to be asleep. It isn't anything new to him lately, hearing Lachlan say that, as he has been saying it every time he has snuck into his bed. Louis and Harry haven't spoken of the way Lachlan had screamed out 'daddy' on Christmas morning and he hasn't told Harry nor did he plan to about this new development but it seems like he doesn't have to because Lachlan then kisses Harry. 

"Good night papa" 

He waits for Harry to re-correct him or tell him off about what he has just said............but it doesn't come. 

"Good night munchkin." 

Louis smiles at this, this right here is all he has ever dreamed about. Now he felt at home. 

" Papa?" 

" Mmm?" 

" You really smell." 

" Heyyy. You smell too, go to sleep." 

Louis tries not to laugh, he does however stretch his leg out straight smiling hard as Harry digs his feet under Louis' entwining them together. 

Harry is fast to fall asleep but not before thanking the heavens above, his wish from the other week finally being fulfilled. Now, he is right where he belongs, surrounded by his big baby and three little babies who have all stolen his heart. 

****************

A/N 

Awww how was that for a 

sweet

way to end the chapter 

Haha 😄

Thoughts? 

Please vote, comment, and share this story. 

Also, coming up soon there will be a time jump. I 

don't



want

to 

prolong

the story longer 

than

needed. It will still 

flow

alright. I promise. 💙💚

# Chapter 18- Baby Seeds

"
Your actions and words should always match up, and always agree. Don't say one thing and then go and do another. Words can be extremely powerful when used in the right context, sometimes they can lift you up but sometimes they can also hurt. So always speak before you think because like it or not...... every word counts."


It's not Louis' weekend or week for that matter. Everything that could possibly go wrong has and it's got him in a right mood. Seeming to think the world is against him, Louis tries to remain positive but his pregnancy hormones are having a field day playing havoc at every opportunity. 

He is losing things, dropping things and as tired as he is, he just can't get comfortable enough to sleep. Customers at work the last couple of days have been nothing shy of rude. The last one is highly debatable with Louis in denial at how much he is snapping left right and center at anyone who moved. 

Kevin wanted to give him Friday off, he could see through it all, understanding the pregnancy symptoms as his wife had once endured. There was a local council street 'Party' celebrating the town's multiculturalism, which was bringing in a lot of tourism. As the store Louis worked at resided on the main street, the shop was way busier than usual. Unfortunately, this meant Kevin needed him to work back a little later than usual today. 

At first, he was happy to do so with the extra pay sounding very enticing. The problem was, he didn't step out of the shop until 6.40 pm. The last train to Holmes chapel left forty minutes ago. He could drive his car like the many times he has done so previously but he fears falling asleep at the wheel. The morning sickness has become slightly better but it has been replaced with bursts of dizziness every now and then. The tiredness has remained the same with the twins sucking the life right out of him. 

Having to call Harry and inform him he wasn't coming didn't go well either, especially when Harry was expecting him there wayyy earlier. Having had no time to let him know beforehand that he wouldn't be able to make it, and with Harry having a slight whinge about it, the lack of sleep and exhaustion had Louis lashing out unnecessarily. Harry bit his tongue presumably assuming Louis' hormones were in full force. 

Harry's 'whinge' was nothing more than an "Aww, I really wanted to see you tonight." 
Unknown to Louis, Harry had arranged a nice little dinner at a restaurant Louis had previously mentioned he would like to visit. Words can often be lost in conversation, more times than we would like to admit, it's not always what we say that can turn something friendly into something reckless but more, how we say it. The tones we use can frequently turn an innocent sentence into a full-blown argument. The same goes when we unintentionally say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment. A valuable life lesson, that both boys are about to soon learn. 

***************

" Harrrry" 

'
Shit
' he mumbles as he works quickly to try and stop the bubbles from escaping out the bathroom door. It's Saturday morning and Louis had caught the 6 am train allowing him to sleep the entire way through to what now feels more like his 'home town' It's currently 10.30 am and after only arriving half an hour ago, he volunteered to bath Lachlan as his football game had been canceled today due to the weather. 

Placing Lachlan into the tub with the current pregnancy brain fog he had been experiencing lately, worked against him as he had left the room leaving the bottle of 'bubbles' on the side of the bath in arms reach. It was a silly mistake but one he is now paying for immensely as the floor is flooded with water and suds. 

" What the hell happened in here?" Harry squeals as he first lays eyes on the mess. 

The fact that Lachlan is sitting remotely still, his eyes widened in fear for the anger he knows is going to erupt from his papa any minute, tells Harry enough. 

" Harry don't, it's my fault. I left it in here when I went for another God dam wee." 

There's another problem. 
Urinating. 
Wake up, wee, 1 hour later, wee, clean the house, wee, go to bed and wake up to wee. 

Wee wee fucking wee!

Between morning sickness and the need to piss every hour, Louis feels like he has spent more time in the bathroom over the last few weeks than anywhere else.

Harry isn't oblivious to Louis' sudden change in behavior this week, he had purchased a pregnancy book to gain more knowledge of the changes Louis will go through and to learn more information about their growing babies. 
' 
What to expect, when you are expecting
' is keeping Harry very informed.

" Just be careful, don't move Lou, the last thing we need is you slipping over."

With a scorned look of disapproval, Louis scoffs back. 

" I'm not made of glass, I can help." 

Harry, once again ignores his moodiness moving fast to grab a mop and remove all the water. Lifting Lachlan out of the bath, Louis prepares his clothes while Harry dries him. 

" How many times have I told you to never touch the bottle? If you ever do it again, next time I won't hesitate to make you clean it up. So much water like that meant anyone of us could have fallen and got hurt." 

Lachlan who once again finds himself in trouble is flicking his eyes between the pair. 

He stares at his papa, genuinely sorry for the chaos he had created. 

" Sorry papa" He sulks. " I'm really sorry." 

Harry nods his head in Louis' direction and Lachlan understands he wants him to apologise to Louis too.

" Sorry, daddy." 

Lachlan freezes. He hasn't said that out loud in the day time and most certainly not while both men at looking at him fully aware of what he just said. Panicking he tries to apologize. " I mean... I said... I...I  meant Loulou, I swear!" 

Not liking the way Lachlan looked and sounded so scared, Louis reached out pulling him in close. He went to hug him, to squeeze him for a 'bout' of reassurance that there was nothing to be worried about, but Lachlan had other ideas grabbing Louis' pinky tightly and cuddling into his side. Immediately Lachlan's breathing slowed, the comfort he sought for now settling him back down. Harry's heart instantly melts now fully understanding the sentimental meaning behind it all. With both H and L agreeing silently with a shared look, Harry bends down to Lachlan's level. 

" Sweetheart. Calm down it's ok. I'm sure Loulou doesn't mind you calling him that." 

Harry stops when he realizes what he just said. He sends a sharp panicked look to Louis to double check if it really was ok, like he should have done beforehand knowing what Louis had said only last week. Taking the situation into his own hands Louis hugs him tightly before pulling him back to stare into his bright blue eyes. 

" Baby, listen to me closely alright. I may not be your real daddy but if you want to call me that you most certainly can, I do not mind. There's no need to be scared ok." 

For some reason, the words that just left Louis' lips sting Harry's heart. In theory, when Louis had said he never wanted Lachlan to know the truth Harry had somehow imagined it was some sort of fallacy or maybe he didn't really mean it. Now that the words have been said out loud, Harry kind of wishes he never heard them because there's a part of him, a larger part than he realizes, that wishes Lachlan did know the truth.

Louis bops Lachlan's nose, and he too mimics the action back.  

" I love you, Thank you.......Daddy."

Without any further interaction, Lachlan takes it upon himself to skip out of the room in his freshly clean clothes and heads for the lounge room downstairs. Harry can't contain the smile he makes when he hears Lachlan singing, it's almost enough to make his heart burst.

🎶
I have two parents, I have two parents, I have two Parents
🎶

And just like that Louis' temperamental emotions have flipped. With Harry assuming he would have enjoyed hearing that, he is very surprised to see Louis hyperventilating as tears explode down his cheeks. With no hesitation he rubs Louis' back before securely embracing him, Louis' face now nuzzled into his neck.

" Oh Lou, babe breathe for me. It's alright. What's the matter?" 

Louis turns away walking over to grab a tissue from Lachlan's bedside table, embarrassed as he blows his now clogged up nose. With his back turned, he softly tells Harry what it is that has gotten him so upset.

" I'm sorry H, I just, I mean... to hear him tell me he loves me, it's the most magical feeling in the world but.... to hear....to hear him call me daddy, fuck Harry, I never in my life thought I would ever hear that, NEVER." 

Louis is quick to remember his message from last week making him slightly nervous. 

" Harry you know I never wanted this, I told you. I never meant. I never wanted...I never." 

Louis' anxiety is sky-high. Only feeling like he has just made progress with Harry, he fears his own emotions are going to ruin everything. Trying to calm him down, Harry tries caressing him with little hand rubs on his back, he continues with a hug but still to no avail. Lastly, he tries soothing him with calming words but he can still sense the uneasiness.

" Harry if you don't want him calling me that I get it, I really do, I told you I'm happy to be Loulou, so if-" 

Harry has tried everything and so far nothing has worked. So next he tries what feels natural.

They lock eyes for only a brief second, long enough for Louis to notice how intense his gaze had become but what he saw reflecting back at him was nothing more than that of a tender but sincere look of pure love. 

Harry cups his cheek, each of his fingertips grazing the softness of Louis' skin as he tenderly strokes away at his neck sending Louis into a state of semi tranquility.  Using his free hand, Harry takes hold of Louis' squeezing tightly but comfortably as he begins to lean forward.

With their lips now combined, it doesn't feel like their usual primal desire, this felt different, an unspoken realness of passion that transcended into a kiss of absolute pure affection. As their lips pressed tightly together, warmth against warmth, they both closed their eyes, a million beautiful loving thoughts condensed into this one moment of utter blissfulness. 

Letting his forehead fall against his, Harry whispers. 

" I'm right here, Lou. You are going to be ok, love." 

And with just a kiss and a few short words from the only one who can soothe him, he relaxes immediately. 

***************

Harry had remembered an old saying
' 
Anything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, 

including



yourself

.' 
This gives him an idea
. 

Although it's raining and it's shitty weather, Harry decides that getting some fresh air by getting out of the house may be exactly what Louis needs. 

It doesn't take long until they pull into a small semi indoor park. It's large and it's the first time Louis has ever seen it. There's a small indoor Cafe but outside resides a coffee van that Louis wants to try.

"Go grab yourself one, take a walk if you need. We won't go anywhere I promise. " Harry smiles and Louis wants to so desperately kiss him again. After their embrace earlier he kind of feels the air has shifted dramatically between them, so he rises to the tip of his toes and plants a quick kiss. 

" Promise?" 

" Cross my heart." 

The coffee is steaming hot making him sip with caution as he walks around the outside garden patio. There are trees surrounding the property with rose bushes evenly spread along the pathways lighting a lovely ray of red white and yellow. The rain is starting to subside but the wind is still a bit chilly. He shivers a little as he listens to the last few drops of rain hitting the tin roof above him. He finds that a small smile has crept upon his face as he inhales deeply. 

Expecting the center to be loud and full of children, Louis is surprised at how quiet it really is. He looks around watching multiple sets of parents fond at their children. He does however laugh when he watches a dad get stuck attempting to go down the slide when he was clearly too big to fit through. Harry giggles as well but finds himself watching in awe at how the lines crease around Louis eyes as he laughs. Most of the time he doesn't realize he is doing it but he can't help but peer down towards Louis' stomach. 

" It's kind of going to feel odd going from one kid to three" 
Harry smiles, watching Lachlan run over to the ball pit.
"Certainly going to have our hands full but have you really thought about it, Lou? There's going to be two tiny humans, half of me and half of you." 

Just the idea alone makes Louis fond like crazy, Harry notices the way Louis begins to gently rub at his belly a smile never leaving his face as he keeps his eyes firm on Lachlan's whereabouts. Looking at Harry, Louis entwines their hands.

" I have. Two little Harry's with mops of curls and green eyes." 
There's a flutter in Harry's chest, with everything feeling like it's all falling right into place.

"They are going to be gorgeous, just like you." Harry responds lifting their joined hands to kiss the back of Louis'.

" We have to tell Lachlan soon and my mum." 

" I know." 

" Any ideas on how to?  

" Nope" Louis laughs. 

Standing up, he smirks as he begins to gather their things. 

" Lachy!! Let's go." 

Louis watches intrigued as to why Harry is smirking. 

" I've got some ideas, but we need to go to the mall."   

***************

Trying to be discreet Louis stops Harry by the arm unsure of what the plan was. 

" What are we doing? We can't just walk him straight into a baby shop and pray for the best." 

Harry laughs looking over and watching Lachlan who's eyes are scanning the store.

" I just need a few things for our way to tell him and mum. You know I think this afternoon when she picks him up for the night, we can surprise her then. " 

" Oh so soon, today, shit, ok."

" Lachlan will be fine, he may be smart sometimes but he is young enough to not connect the dots. You look a little pale, do you not want to tell them? We have to at some point." 

Louis waves it off. 

" No it's all good, just didn't think it would happen today but no, let's do this. What did you have in mind?" 

Walking hand in hand, they only manage a few steps inside the store when Lachlan tugs on a onesie. 

" Um papa, you really think these are going to fit me?" 

Harry smiles hard glancing at Louis. 

" See....only smart sometimes." 

Louis laughs back.

" Point made." 

Harry has informed Louis of his idea for telling Anne. He wants to find a specific romper that he had once seen a long time ago. He just really hopes they still have it. He also needs to look for a rattle and a speech board. Searching the shop for roughly ten minutes he goes to the counter, silently praying that the lady can help him. Of course, there's no luck. The item he is looking for is no longer in stock. However, he does feel better when she shows Harry their printing machine that can type anything onto a romper. 
'
Perfect
' 

While Harry is busy placing and awaiting their order, Louis walks around admiring the many things he knows he still needs to get. The one thing standing out.... the ridiculous pricing. 

" Loulou are these things for babies?" 

' 
Yeah only smart sometimes' 
he scoffs to himself. Shit. Trust Lachlan to ask when Harry isn't close by. Not wanting to lie, he answers truthfully. 

" Yes. You are a clever little man aren't you."

" You and papa sometimes call me 'baby' but you do both see that I'm NOT really a baby, right Loulou?" 
He asks with such genuine concern, worried that his parents might be somewhat blind or silly. Finding it hard not to laugh, Louis picks up a romper holding it to Lachan's chest. 

" Mm stay still, if we just squash you a little bit, it might actually fit." 

Feeling a hand on his lower back, Louis is severely glad to have Harry arrive back just in time to lead the conversation further.

" Where do babies come from?" Lachlan asks frowning as he thinks. 

Sharing a look, Louis laughs before pointing at Harry.

" Yeah, Papa, where do babies come from?" 

Erupting into laughter, Lachlan remains puzzled at why no one has yet to answer him. 

" What's funny?" He asks sternly crossing his arms, now a little agitated at being ignored as Louis wipes at his tears from laughing. 

" Well um... jeez ....ahh"

Harry struggles to come up with anything until he stupidly does. 

" Well, people swallow baby seeds which then makes babies begin to grow." 

Louis screws up his face at Harry at how ridiculous and unconvincing that just sounded. 

" You know what, scrap that. Papa will tell you when you are a LOT older." It's all Harry can finally muster out between his laughs because the more Louis giggles the harder Harry laughs.  

Lachlan picks up a baby blanket and coo's to Harry. 

" This is so pretty" 

It's rainbow colored and it reminds Louis of the old tie-dye t-shirts he used to wear as a kid. They share a look, an agreement settled on with just their eyes. 
"It's not how we planned though" Harry whispers. 

" But it feels right, doesn't it." 

Forget their big plan to announce it, right here right now as Lachlan smiles, they both bend down to his level, this moment of news finally coming to the surface. 

Louis is the one to start the conversation. He explains that cookies are not the reason for his expanding waistline.

" Ooooooh, is it the chocolate?"

Louis laughs looking to Harry. 

" Oh, I can't " 

Harry giggles as he takes over. 

" Do you like babies, darling?" 

Lachlan looks confused at the sudden 'change of topic'.

" Yes, they are dorrable" 

" You mean Adorable and I'm glad you said that, because well......" 

He looks one last time to Louis for confirmation to go ahead. 

" The reason Louis' tummy is getting rounder is because inside his belly is not one baby but two. They are currently growing bigger and bigger each day and in a few months' time, they are going to come out and meet you! You will have little brothers or sisters." 

Harry thinks he has explained it well enough but Lachlan seems lost for words as he stares at a spot on the floor. He is sure he is just processing the information but the lack of response is making both Harry and Louis anxious. Louis takes over again stroking his cheek. 

" Do you understand what papa said?" 

He doesn't answer but he does shake his head 
yes
. 

" Are you alright? You look sad, we thought you would like some brothers or sisters. Talk to me, how do you feel?"

Lachlan looks up at Louis before doing something both men didn't expect. It happens very slowly as if he is scared of getting into trouble. Keeping eye contact he softly lifts up the bottom hem of Louis' T-shirt to inspect the subject at hand. Louis gives a small smile to him, to whom Lachlan sadly half smiles back. He looks away to where he places his tiny palm on the rounded belly, staring intently as if he was expecting to see right through.  

" But what if they don't like me, daddy? He asks. 

Harry's heart erupts into backflips at the term 'daddy', loving how his boy now felt comfortable and confident enough to use the term freely. 

" Oh darling, why would you think that? They will love you just as much as we do."

Deciding to shrug his shoulders instead, he lets go of Louis' belly and steps back.  

Letting that sink in, Lachlan turns to face his papa.

" Do I have to share my toys?" 

"Not straight away no." 

"Do I have to share my room?" 

"No"

" Will they scream?"

" Sometimes" 

Looking ecstatic with those answers, he begins to jump up and down on the spot, his next loud words gaining some looks from fellow shoppers.

"Me be big brother yaayyyy!!!"

The last few minutes had been a nervous wait, with both men unsure of how Lachlan's reaction was going to pan out but now watching him grin widely, they both relax as they mirror each other and tell Lachlan to quiet down.

" Buy this papa, ooh and this and um this one and this one and no not that one but this one too." 

Lachlan is grabbing blankets, rattles, books, pacifiers and all sorts of anything he can carry, grabbing them and throwing them into the basket Harry was holding. Lachy is at full speed now running up and down the aisle. 

" He may not be biologically yours Harry but my god he is a hundred percent like you. Wants to buy everything." 

Both Laughing they settle him down before finding the remainder of the items they needed to begin with. The total ended up being almost double what it needed to be, all thanks to Lachlan's hoard of chosen things. Exiting the shop, they stop in the middle of the mall where Harry firmly instructs Lachlan that he can NOT tell grandma about the babies when she arrives later this afternoon.

Accepting that, Lachlan grins. 

" Ok, but I can tell other people right?" 

Harry doesn't understand what he is asking until it's too late. 

" Excuse me sir, I'm going to be a big brother" 

The young man passing by gives him a thumbs up. " That's awesome little dude."

Louis is trying his best not to fall apart laughing at how eager and proud Lachlan is. Harry, however, is totally embarrassed. 

" Excuse me miss, my daddy's growing babies." 

The sweet older lady who must be surpassing her seventies smiles fondly as she replies slowly. 

" Well look at you, such a cutie, you make sure you be a very good big brother won't you."

Harry is flushing red, embarrassed at the way Lachlan seems to have no fear or shame at talking so confidently to strangers. 

" Ok baby, look I know you are excited but you don't need to tell everyone alright? " 

Harry tries his best to convince him but Lachlan isn't ready to stop beaming with joy. Not listening to a word Harry says Lachlan tugs on the pants of another man who is currently facing away from them. 

" I'm about to be a big brother !" He proudly shouts with a grin so wide and pure.

The man turns around giving all of them a once over and Harry watches the way Louis lunges forward grabbing Lachlan and pulling him back, a natural instinct to protect him. Harry immediately sees the danger in Louis' eyes and then it dawns on him.

It's Marcus. 

The similarities between Lachlan and Marcus are uncanny. It doesn't take long for Harry to bare witness to his self-righteous remarks as he dives straight in to use his arrogance against Louis. 

"What's the matter, Louis? Am I not allowed to talk to my own flesh and blood" Louis cradles Lachy into his side tighter than he already was. Lachlan is silently scared of the man who looks down at him with an evil smirk. 

Harry wants nothing more than to just turn around and leave before he does something he may regret. He isn't normally the type to make a scene, especially in a packed mall. His mind is prompting him to attack, to beat the living shit out of him for simply being the asshole he is and yes, he would love too but his son is standing right there. Louis grabs Harry by the arm trying to turn him to walk away now sensing the anger within Harry. He manages to get him to turn when Marcus sees the baby items. 

" This baby mine as well Louis?" 

Quickly moving to cover his little boy's ears, Louis is still shocked and hasn't said a word. When Harry locks eyes he makes a desperate plea for help. Gently pushing Louis and Lachlan slightly behind him, Harry whispers for Louis to take him safely to the car. 

" Harry "

"Go"

Marcus smirks watching the way Louis gathers the boy and doesn't look back. The glare he is currently receiving from Harry should have been enough for Marcus to be worried but he clearly isn't because he decides to shoot a dig instead.  

" Oooooh, you are protective aren't you? Not just a pretty face after all." 

Marcus sizes him up, giving Harry an intense look over from head to toe. Being smug and full of himself, was too nice of a way to describe the beast that Harry saw standing before him. 

"Dunno why, with the number of times I've fucked him senseless, I'm sure he would be loose as fuck and disposable by now."   

" You really are a piece of work. That boy may contain traces of your DNA but he is mine and Louis' NOT yours and never will be. If you knew what was really good for you, if you were actually smart, you would kindly fuck off and stay the hell away from my family." 

" You sure it's yours? I mean, I'm pretty sure we used a condom that day we fucked when we left the park but if it's mine, I'm not walking away this time." 

Harry's face falls, the new information eating away at his soul. The words hit him hard, the urge to vomit quickly multiplying. Marcus notices the shock and decides to rub the salt in the wound a little more by letting out a belly-clenching laugh. 

" Oh fuck this is gold, he didn't tell you that part did he? I mean I always have been irresistible to him, but I'm amazed at the superb little liar he has become. He used to be so obedient." 

Harry hadn't planned on it but this man was icking him all over. The way he stood, the way he spoke, his vile attitude. Was he proud of it probably not but it did feel partly refreshing to knock the fucking smirk off his face when Harry's fist connected to his nose, punching him straight to the ground.

There are a few people who have stopped and witnessed the commotion, so Harry steps back, shaking his hand trying to rid of the pain his knuckles now felt. Raising to his feet holding his nose, the two men endure an intense stare off, neither not daring to say another word. Turning to walk away, the last thing Harry does hear from Marcus cuts right through him. 

" Just remember that's my blood running through his veins mate, not yours!........ Papa" he mocks. 

Louis has strapped Lachlan in the car. Waiting anxiously, he bites his lip nervously as he keeps his eyes peeled on Harry who is approaching across the car parking lot. For the last 10 minutes, Louis has had to deal with Lachy asking a million and one questions about who the 'scary man' was.

Harry gets in the car and doesn't say a word not even to Lachlan who is asking him if he is ok. Louis notices the redness on Harry's knuckles and doesn't question anything. Trying to rest his hand on Harry's leg to reassure him, he is surprised when he moves his leg away. He understands that the situation they just faced was unpleasant and scary for Lachlan but why was Harry mad at him? 

It's a long quiet drive home. Upon entering through the front door Harry beelines up stairs leaving Louis to wonder what the fuck had happened. After giving Lachlan a drink and snack he sits him in front of the tv and ventures off to find Harry. 

" What time is Anne getting here?" 

Louis had found him folding clothes into Lachlan's little suitcase. Tonight he was staying at grandmas which both the lads were thankful for, allowing them one night to themselves that they haven't had in a while. 

With no response, Louis with extreme caution, attempts to get some input as to what happened when he left the mall. 

" Harry, please. I can't apologise enough for Marcus, I don't know why he is here in Holmes Chapel. If I could have avoided him seeing Lachy I would have. Did he hurt you?" 

" Hurt.....me?" Harry scoffs. 

" What happened? Did he threaten Lachlan or you, Harry don't leave me in the dark, what happened?" 

Closing the suitcase he side steps around Louis proceeding to the bathroom where he collects Lachlan's toothbrush and toothpaste. 

" My mum will be arriving shortly. I still have things to pack. Can you organise mums surprise. That would be great." 

Hating the way Harry is not communicating he does what's been asked of him and gets the pregnancy announcement under way. It doesn't take him long, there's not too much to do but he is happy with the final outcome as he looks down at it. 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/41cad4f1b5085c467d123d00d59be8c833f48a21/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f416d5178726170617856754577773d3d2d313330323534353534352e3137333833653661663237353033306335363639333138303132392e6a7067)

He hears Harry shout from down stairs that his mum was there. He had just gotten out the shower and the only thing left to do was run a quick comb through his hair. 

" Lou, did you hear me?" 
Harry pokes his head inside the bedroom door. 

" Yeah sorry I'm coming." 

" So far Lachlan has kept his word, he hasn't said a thing but to be on the safe side I think we better do it straight away. " 

" I agree." 

Picking up the little package, they walk side by side downstairs. Harry seems to be back to his normal self, but Louis is worried it might only be a show for his mother.

Turning into the lounge room where they can hear Lachlan and Anne laughing, they stop when Anne turns to look at them. Her eye brows are raised, a hand on her hip. 

Oh no!

She doesn't seem mad, but Louis picks up on some sassiness and it becomes quite apparent that Lachlan had beaten them to it. 

" Baby seeds, really Harry?" 

Lachlan is stood with his hand across his mouth. 

" I didn't tell her about the babies growing inside of Louis, I promise I promise. I only told her that I now know where babies come from." 

It's true, for once he isn't lying. Unfortunately, he has just now spilled the beans about the pregnancy. 

" Babies? Louis' belly? What?" 

Of course it's an initial shock as Harry takes the stuff from Louis' hands placing it all down on the counter for his mother to see clearly. 

" Harry, this, this better not be a joke I swear to God." Still not believing Harry, even with the look of happiness on Harry's face she turns to Louis for more clarity. 

" Louis darling is this true? You are carrying my grand babies?" 

Nodding with a smile, Louis wasn't ready for the large hug Anne pulled him in for. 

Louis' thought from earlier deemed fit to be true as Harry smiled and laughed even kissing him on the forehead for his mum to witness. He could feel deep down in his bones it was all a charade. 

Anne was thrilled and overly excited by the unexpected news and could not stop looking at the scan photos. Anne and Lachlan spoke about how exciting it was going to be having new babies around making sure to include Lachlan in every conversation to make sure he never felt left out. 

When Anne and Lachlan left, Louis followed Harry into the lounge room where he had begun to pick up the dirty tea cups. Louis is waiting, he knows it's coming. The tension is so thick you could cut through it with a knife. 

" Harry I'm sorry." 

And just like he knew it would happen, Harry unleashes. 

" How could you? You slept with him AGAIN after what he had done, what the FUCK is wrong with you!" 

Fuck
. 
Louis hadn't given it a second thought that Marcus might have told him, especially after giving Louis his word. He never goes back on his word. 
He is shocked, terrifyingly shocked. 

Harry is hurt after feeling as though he had been left in the dark once more. He went through all this with Ben and with lies being his biggest pet peeve, he feels numb and angry. He wants Louis to feel the same pain he too is feeling, it's a rash decision and it's not one he would like to make again in the future. 

" Well guess what !?! I did sleep with Kendall so yeah, I guess we're even." 

Louis stays quiet as heartache wrapped in grief bowls Louis over into silence. Not giving Harry the satisfaction, he doesn't acknowledge what's been said and proceeds to enter Lachlan's room where he starts to '
angry
' clean. 

Yelling, as he follows him around, Harry is not taking note of the harsh words he was delivering.
"Why can't you ever just tell me the bloody truth? It was such a fucking good day today, hell, no make that a good week, month, and... Is this how it's going to be with you? Lie after fucking lie after lie? TELL ME, LOUIS!"

Having had enough of hearing it, Louis drops the hand full of trucks to the ground the sound making Harry startle. 

"He gave me no choice! He was going to tell you who I was. He said if I, he said- " 
Louis has trouble spitting out the right words. "He said If I bedded him one last time he would disappear, that I'd never have to see him again." 

Scoffing, Harry isn't thinking rationally or clearly as he begins to sprout out things he truly doesn't mean.
"So you were just worried about your lie being exposed. Wow, in true Louis fashion style, always looking out for yourself." 

" He threatened to go after Lachy!!!!!" 

*Silence* 

" I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO LET HIM HAVE ME HARRY! Do you know how much it hurt, the memories I had to endure? The sickness that I felt. The fucking GUILT!!! The choice was simple for me, either I endure his bullshit or you and Lachy do, So yeah, I was sooooo protecting myself. I had no choice!"

Not giving Harry any real time to answer he ends his rant with true mic-drop energy.

"DID YOU THOUGH H, WITH KENDALL?"

*silence* 

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

It's like a wave of regret hits him all at once. His anger is to blame but in reality, it's not Louis he is mad at. Unfortunately for Louis, it is him facing the brunt of it all. Feeling like an ass, he runs a hand through his hair, stepping forward in an attempt to embrace him.

' Lou' 

Now in a mood just like he has been for the last few days, Louis needs time to cool off because Harry's words were not called for. He figured Harry would be mad if he had ever found out but implying he was selfish was not sitting well with him.

"Fuck you, Harry!"

Exiting the room, he storms down the hallway.

He knows he's made a mistake, a big mistake at that, especially when he watches Louis walk to his room and begin to pack his bag.

" What are you doing?"

If you speak while you are angry there's a high possibility of making the best speech you will ever regret. Knowing this to be true, Louis opts to ignore him.

"Lou stop, this is stupid. I'm sorry."

Not giving him no attention he continues packing. You see, getting angry in a stressful situation is like trying to clean something with mud. As Harry watches on, he recognizes the amount of anger pouring out of him. Having never seen this side of him before Harry becomes a little intimidated by his glare, his sighs, and the slams of every cupboard door. He decides to stay quiet now, not wanting to say anything else that may potentially hurt him any further. He gulps down consecutively, unsure of how to rectify all this. He seems to go into a bit of a daze because the next thing he knows, he hears the front door open. He races down the stairs just in time to stop him. 

" Don't go please, or at least tell me where you are going." 

" Home" is the only response he receives.  

It doesn't sound right hearing Louis call London 'home' and it clicks to him how late it is. 

" It's 7 pm at night, the train doesn't run again now until tomorrow." 

Louis doesn't reply opening the door and closing it behind him. 

It's a long walk to the end of the driveway, or maybe it just feels that way as he constantly wipes tears from his face. He is, however, glad to stop, happy to try and recover some breath back as he realizes how much the walk had puffed him out. He calls the only people he knows here. He rings but there's no answer. He clicks another contact and tries once again with the same outcome, no answer.

He tries one last time. 
He is starting to fret now because what the fuck was he going to do there was no way in hell he was going to turn around and go back inside. Not yet at least. He needed some space, some time to relieve the tension. 

"Can you please pick me up?" 

When the car rounds the corner approximately ten minutes later, he collects the backpack up off the ground throwing it over his shoulder. Opening the car door he lowers his head just inside only enough to speak. 

" Thank you. I tried calling Liam and Zayn but they didn't answer. 
" I had no one else to call, I know I'm not your favorite person but" 
Louis looks down at his belly. Niall's heartstrings are being tugged on immediately as he opens up the door allowing him to climb in. 

" what have you done now?"
Niall asks cautiously. 

***************

Niall's house was nothing like Louis had imagined. It was one of the cleanest, poshest places he had ever stepped into. There was glass everywhere. Glass windows, glass tables, glass mirrors, glass vases, glass tumblers, 
glass glass glass
. He wouldn't admit it out loud but Louis was scared to move, too terrified of breaking anything and for some reason, all he thought to himself was '
And Harry lets Lachlan sleep here
?' 
He had pegged Niall as someone who wouldn't care less if dishes were piled on the sink, or if people wore their shoes inside but apparently he had perceived Niall all wrong. 

Louis was surprised at how nice and gracious Niall was being, considering Louis had not yet had a real chance to smooth things over between them. He makes it his mission to do so before they go any further into the discussion. Niall tells him how sad and disappointed he was in him and how much Harry was hurt. It wasn't a nice conversation to have but it certainly was one that was needed for them to clear the way and build a path forward. After the first 20 minutes of chatting Louis needed to visit the bathroom and Niall took the opportunity to whip out his phone. 

To Harry 
"Don't freak out. He is with me. I know this will stress you more but I promise you, I will look after him. He is safe. I will drop him off in a couple of hours when you have both calmed down or tomorrow if he decides to stay."
Niall 
X 

****************

It's funny how slowly time lapses when you are waiting for something. It's 10.50 pm and Harry has sat for hours in his lounge room chair recliner which just so happens to be positioned near the front window. He has watched the sun down go, and the night sky form, he has stared into the darkness with absolute anxiety. When headlights finally appear from behind the trees, he hears a vehicle coming up the driveway. Becoming a tad nervous, he can't help but feel like a right cunt and all he wants to do is apologize and hug him. 

Everything sounds later at night time and the front door opening is no exception, creaking loudly as footsteps enter through. Hearing  Louis thank and say goodbye to Niall, encourages Harry to make a mental note to call him tomorrow to do the same thing. Louis is standing in the foyer not yet having moved. He hasn't noticed Harry yet and when the sound of Niall's car starts to drift off down the driveway, Louis begins to walk upstairs.......until Harry speaks. 

"Lou" 

Turning back around and walking towards him, the first thing Harry notices is that his hair is a mess, and his eyes are clearly red and puffy, that he can tell even with the minimal lighting emitting from the lounge room lamp, that he has been crying. It pains Harry to know he was the cause of it and immediately he stands to his feet, a sudden urge to get closer, the need to fix this, what it is they have, because now more than ever he realizes Louis is his '
forever
'
Moving towards each other, both men go to talk, both needing to deliver their heartfelt apologies but Harry's desperation wins as he begins his remorseful speech.  

"I shouldn't have done and said the things I did. Seeing you so upset, watching you walk out the door. I didn't like it. I can not apologize enough baby, I'm just sorry. So so freaking sorry. 
I've never felt this defenseless Lou. Don't leave me please." 

Harry chokes out those words feeling eager and desperate for forgiveness having truly despised the way he had upset him earlier on.  

" I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have lied and brought Marcus into your li- "

Harry places his hand on Louis stomach.

" Sssh, you know what, let's not have him come between us, yeah? You have nothing to apologize for. I didn't handle things well today and now I've had a chance to calm down and think about things, I hate the way I acted. Please forgive me. I didn't like watching you walk out that door tonight babe, it hurt, a lot more than it should have. I felt a part of me leave too when you left, Lou. I can't. I don't want. I -" 

Harry stops momentarily to frown as he bites harshly at his thumbnail thinking through his words thoroughly and precisely before releasing his next sentence. He knows this is out of the blue, and probably not the right time at all considering todays events, but there's an urgency burning within him, a need to formally move things forward and secure the life that he now a hundred percent envisioned as his future.  

" Move in with me." 

" What?" 
Louis asks, unsure if what he heard was actually correct. 

"We have Lachlan and two new babies coming soon, it makes sense Lou. I have the house that we need. Everything is here, except you. I want you sweetheart. I want you all here, all under the same roof where I can provide for and protect you all. So I ask you again, please say you will move in with me." 

Louis blinks rapidly as he stares in a state of confusion, thrown off by the sudden proposition. 

" Harry... I- " 

******************

A/N 

Argh, another cliffhanger that I know you all love. 🙈

Thoughts on the chapter? 
Is Harry rushing it or thinking sensibly? 
More importantly, Will Louis say yes?

# Chapter 19 - Boys, Girls Or Both?

A/N 

Sorry for the long wait :( 

When reading from now onwards until the last chapter please take note of time jump warnings and flashbacks.

Louis = 20 weeks.

*********

' 

It's

healthy to be unwell sometimes but health is not really valued until sickness suddenly falls.' 

It's been a very long two months since Harry put his heart on his sleeve offering up his home. Which means, it's also been eight weeks since Louis had first turned him down. 

Trying his hardest to convince him and after several hours of pleading all the reasons as to why the move was all for the best, Louis eventually caved in and agreed. Of course, it had come with one big, 
not for discussion
condition. Moving in with Harry and Lachlan was like a dream come true and when he finally heard the words escape Harry's lips he almost jumped at the opportunity, shouting 'yes'. Luckily though, Louis had somehow managed to stop himself and thought rationally before accepting. 

At the time, Louis had been worrying about all sorts of things and crying at every opportunity, which was starting to take a toll on his hormones. His pregnancy, Lachlan, Harry, his job, the distance between them, Niall, and yes, Marcus and Kendall, all floating around his thoughts in a never ending wheel of anxiety. 

He kind of feels bad for using the opportunity to his advantage but giving Harry a condition worked in his favor.

The favor in question? 

Therapy. 

Louis worried that moving in without getting to the bottom of their problems first wasn't such a great idea. They might not fight a lot but when they do, they are vicious and stubborn and Lachlan is constantly having to see tears from both of them and it isn't right, nor fair on the little boy. 

Louis wanted to sit down and talk professionally, he wanted them to both see a counselor. There were several topics he wished and needed to discuss with Harry in a calm and soothing manner. Harry doesn't trust him one bit, as he had stated many times before, and without that in a relationship, you really don't have nothing. To be trusted by Harry again is what he feels he needs before he can push forward and move in.

Gaining his trust again would be a much larger compliment than anything else, it's his top priority. It's also no secret that Harry wants to dive into Louis' past habit of lying and keeping secrets, which Louis is a hundred percent ok with because he too wants to address the way Harry gets angry at the drop of a hat and then there's Kendall, the incident that should have been but never was really addressed. Throw the Marcus incident into the mix and bam, there's a vile concoction of built up emotions, feelings, fears, and worries that neither has engaged in thoroughly.

So if Harry had agreed to try and sort these issues out and things began to form more freely and openly within their communication, only then would Louis fully move in.

Harry didn't waste no time, booking an appointment the very following week. He understood and respected where Louis was coming from and agreed with full sincerity that it was indeed needed. Harry had first contacted Melissa thinking that since she knew them it would feel more comfortable and somewhat 'easier'. However, Melissa declined the offer explaining to Harry that even though she was proud of them both for stepping up and taking this important decision seriously, she wouldn't be the best choice to help them as she was too close, and too invested. Not leaving them hanging dry, Melissa was kind enough to give Harry the name and number of a therapist she highly recommended and with that, Harry booked their first appointment with no hesitation.  

Louis had hoped that if they can get through some sessions over a few weeks and it all went smoothly then 'yes', yes he will move in with them. Until then Louis had to figure out a way to tell Kevin that once again, he would have to quit on him.

It was only barely two weeks ago that Louis had finally moved in, having taken one and a half months of counseling before Louis felt they had progressed enough to move forward. Kevin was saddened by the news but secretly happy for the young lad he had grown to accept as his little brother. Kevin and his wife shouted Louis to dinner, a little going away party where they gifted him a beautiful set of baby diaper bags. Louis couldn't help but cry saying goodbye to his now 'former' boss, in a high sense of things besides Melissa, Kevin was his only friend and the only one to ever look out for him on a daily basis.

Melissa has continued to look after 'her boys' the best she can. After sending through all his medical stuff through to a clinic in Holmes Chapel Melissa hugged Louis as tightly as she could, still amazed at how radiant he looked with the rapid size increase of his belly so quickly.

Lachlan was a whole other story.

~~~ Flashback ~~~

(2 weeks ago)

"
Papa, daddy, come see, come see."


Harry was getting ready for work while Louis cleaned up the leftover mess that was caused from breakfast. It was 8.12 am and Louis had only told Harry minutes prior that he was ready, ready to move in. Their sessions had gone extremely well with no hiccups and after having learned so much more about each other, the way they communicate, act and be mindful of each other's feelings has brought out a whole new dynamic between the pair with not one fight or argument in two months.

Harry had just entered the kitchen when Louis was about to go outside. 

" Does he look a little flat today or is it just me?" 

Both of them walk outside and soon their young exhausted football player joins them.   

" Baby, why are you puffing so much? Take a breath. You feeling ok buddy?" 

Lachlan guzzled down some water as Harry looked him over. Louis' thoughts were right, Lachlan did look a little pale. 

" I'm fine. Come watch me, daddy, please. I can do it now." 

Both men shared an ' I 
have no idea what his talking about
' look before following him out further onto the back lawn.

Louis couldn't believe his eyes and Harry, well he didn't understand the big fuss not understanding football one bit. 

" Lachy how? I only showed you that twenty minutes ago." 

" I practice, like you always tell me" 

Lachlan was getting really well at football and as it seems, as of today, he can bounce a ball on his feet, most commonly known as doing ' kick ups'.

" Baby boy I'm so proud of you !!!" Louis screams pulling him in tightly to his chest. With Lachlan laughing Louis pulls back letting him go swiftly. 

" Wait there" 

Harry and Lachlan both shrugged their shoulders in unison as they watched Louis disappear through the door inside. Only moments later, Harry rolled his eyes when he notices the camera in his hands. Knowing too well that Lachlan and Louis are about to be wound up in their own little football bubble for a few minutes, he sits down on the garden bench where he watches on in awe as Louis films him and takes no short of a hundred photos.

" Lou." 

Louis walks over and Harry is quick to speak. 

" Let's tell him now, I can't wait to see his face." 

With a kiss to Louis' cheek, they both look over to where Lachlan is already smiling, watching how loving his parents are now with each other. Lachy doesn't understand the ups and down his parents have been through over the months but what he does recognize with his little eyes is that there's no fighting anymore. No more shouting no more tears and most definitely no more naughty words, although Lachlan just might argue that Louis said the biggest naughty 'F' word over and over again yesterday as he burned food in the kitchen. 

" Buddy come here for a quick second daddy and I want to talk to you for a minute." 

Louis is still getting used to hearing Harry call him that. It still gives him butterflies each and every time.

" Darling. You love daddy right?" 

With a smile and a confident nod, he agrees tentatively. 

" How would you feel if I told you Loulou was going to come and stay in this house with us, to sleep here EVERY night? Would you like that, if he moved in with us?"

Lachlan's face....says it all. 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/ca955349bc5a04acae9844de80cea64caf7f2176/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f586a55377054305f6e46707237513d3d2d313330333639373335312e313733393931663264316231666531333530333136323338393635322e6a7067)

Grabbing to hold Lachlan's hands, Louis stares into his little sparkling eyes. He is very excited that he can see, but Louis wants to check and double check that he is really ok with it all and that he understands it. 

" Only if you want me to though. If you don't want me to, that is perfectly ok because I can wait until you are rea-" 

Louis stops when he notices Lachlan frown, and his bottom lip begins to tremble uncontrollably. He has known him long enough now to know that he is about to burst out crying. 

" Oh, sweetheart." 

Louis pulls him into his chest, lowering his head down to kiss the top of his head. He was waiting for it. The cry.....but it didn't come. What did though made Louis nearly self-combust with heartwarming fulfillment. From the moment Lachlan was born he had missed him deeply, unfathomably, and wholeheartedly. It had hurt every day, the absence of someone who was once there. Although Lachlan was gone he was always there with him, in his mind, his thoughts, his memories, and always in his heart. He was everywhere, everywhere but right there in his arms. Now as he looks down at his boy, he sees the little bundle of joy that once graced his chest for a mere few seconds those many years ago. A piece of himself finally felt mended after years and years of self-hatred, loneliness, and much regret. Louis knew at this moment that he was right where he belonged, where they ALL belonged.

Louis was home. 

" I love you so much, daddy." 

Louis couldn't even begin to try and even describe how he felt. His tears probably made it clear enough but Harry, as he watched on at their touching moment will swear to this day what it was he saw. 

'
A little bit of heaven had drifted down from above, a handful of happiness had refilled Lou's heart with nothing but pure love.' 

And like the old saying always warns

' 
When things seem to be going too well, something is always bound to go wrong.'

" 
I'm tired daddy." 

~~~ End of Flashback~~~

Anne gushes when she lays eyes on Louis' belly. After being away on holiday with her new friends for the last couple of weeks she is certainly in awe of her growing grand babies. 

" Oh love, you are getting so big...I mean, shoot, I shouldn't have said that, oh gosh I mean like..like the babies are developing wonderfully I didn't mean-" 

Witnessing the way she struggled Louis smiled gracefully. Upon discovering the pregnancy Anne and Louis have become quite close. There's been the occasional trip to the shops for baby stuff and Anne has been busy knitting some adorable little sweaters. 

" It's fine really, I knew what you meant. I will admit feeling this big already, does have me a little nervous for later on down the track. I'm going to be the size of a house." 

There's a peal of soft laughter and Anne and Louis share a knowing look that any minute Lachlan was about to enter the lounge room. Harry had been upstairs preparing Lachy's bag for the big day planned with grandma. Today they get to find out. The much anticipated scan they have done nothing but talk about for the last week has finally arrived. Having realized it would be easier to get all the stuff they wished for and to design the nursery, they both agreed it was definitely a done deal to find out the genders today. 

Harry had to go into work this morning for a few hours having been swamped with paperwork due to his mother's absence from the bank. The plan in place was for Anne to watch Lachlan for the day and Harry would leave the office at 11.30 am to meet Louis over at the clinic for the 12-noon scan. 

With life moving quickly as it so often does, we can sometimes get rather caught up with our daily activities that we forget that life may not always go according to plan. Unexpected circumstances arise and unfortunately, life can all of a sudden change in the blink of an eye. What we once thought would be everlasting blissfulness may become somewhat challenging, dark, or even stormy. As with everything else we face in this world we must remain strong if we are ready to brace for the blessings and problems that are coming our way. 

Louis, Harry, or anyone else around them, have no idea what is brewing, what situations and stressful events are slowly being written into their fate.

" Be good for grandma mister and mum thank you so much. I've only got the last of the industrial loan invoices to complete and I'm guessing by the time we finish up at the appointment, we can collect him around 1.30 pm give or take depending on the traffic."

Anne scrunches her nose playfully at Lachy not really paying Harry any attention. 

" Take your time, we are going to take a trip to the beach today." 

With Lachlan only now hearing of this news, he screams with excitement, before running over to hug Harry. 

" I know papa I know, no going in the water without grandma, and never walk off alone." 

Harry ruffles his head. 

" Nice to hear you do pay attention sometimes. Have fun ok." 

And before Harry even gets to finish that sentence he is already running at full speed towards Louis, stopping abruptly when his head reached Lou's stomach. Lachlan has been so adorably safe in regards to the 'bump'. He treats Louis like he is fragile being careful to not ever hurt him or his siblings, not wanting to give the twins any reasons to 'hate' him when they arrive. 

" I will miss you, little babies. Big brother will be back soon." 

It's the first time Anne has witnessed Lachy talk to the babies and she couldn't wipe the smile from her face if she tried. But when Lachlan kissed his belly, Anne covered her mouth in astonishment and looked at Harry with such warmthness from Lachlan's loving tenderness. 

" And they will miss you too but you know what?" 

Lachlan thinks about Louis' question before smiling and shrugging.

" I'm going to miss you more." 

Louis bends down closer to him the best he physically can and kisses his cheek. The moment Harry hears the front door close he turns to Louis and grabs his hand. 

" What are you doing?"

Louis walks behind Harry who is guiding him upstairs. Harry laughs mysteriously not giving an answer and it's only when Harry smirks when they reach the bedroom door that it is clear what his intentions are. Emitting a laugh first Louis tries his best to stay serious.

" H, you need to leave for work you are going to be late." 

Harry is removing his jacket and shirt at lightning speed and if Louis was honest, if it wasn't for the initial turn-on of the vision of Harry's tanned abs staring back at him invitingly he would be severely jealous of his fit and toned stomach. 

" Actually I don't have to be at work until another 45 minutes." 

Confused at first he notices the smirk and it all makes sense now. 

" No...you didn't. You planned this?" 

Harry moves closer desire in his eyes as he takes a hold of the hem of Louis's shirt carefully but slowly pulling it up and over his head. Placing his warm hands around Louis' back he drags him in closer to kiss at his neck. 

" I may or may not have told mum I was starting earlier, yes. Is that a problem for you my love?" 
Harry manages to say in between the hundred and one kisses, his lips now working fiercely around his jawline. 

Sexual activity has been at its peak this last month with the bump causing many physical boundaries but Harry is being careful taking the utmost care to make him feel loved and comfortable. There's been a lot of head jobs and doggy style and today isn't going to be any different. 

It has been pleasing, a newfound love for receiving head. Louis has always loved a good blowie but since he became pregnant his libido has tripled and for the last two months Harry has been seeing stars with the spine-chilling orgasms they have both been experiencing on a daily occurrence.

Lowering him down softly to the bed Harry is quick to start planting kissing down his torso and like always, he stops to kiss the large swell of belly skin protruding in front of him, making Louis smile like crazy. It's starting to make him think Harry has a pregnancy kink and by all means, it doesn't phase him at all. On the contrary, it kind of makes him happy. He was all alone during his last pregnancy and with no one to hold or rub or kiss his growing baby, the whole pregnancy felt numb and lonely. Now, Harry is making him feel special and definitely in more ways than one.

Louis can feel himself pulsating already at just the feel of Harry's hands pulling down his sweatpants. Harry can't help but question when Louis begins to laugh unexpectedly.

" Lou, what the hell could be so funny at this exact moment?" 

Harry is giggling but only because Louis is, there's no way he couldn't because his laugh is so contagious. 

" I'm sorry. H, this is great but I feel like a school kid hiding away being all sneaky like this." 

Harry, slowly but somehow like he always manages to do, seductively crawls up over him to gently peck his lips. Harry being Harry, grins before biting his lip. 

" Hmm, I see. Well then Tomlinson, I suggest you roll over onto all fours so I can have my mid-morning snack, unless you want this principal to send you to detention and spank your fucking ass." 

" Harrrry" 

Louis laughs but not for long as Harry disappears below making his eyes rolls backwards when he feels the wet softness of Harry's lips against his hardened length. With a few long licks and sucks just to tease, Harry taps his thigh suggesting he roll over. With firm hands pulling his ass cheeks apart Harry goes down for his 'meal' 

Heaven. 

A tantalizing state of great peace and pleasure and pleasure is exactly what he feels as Harry's saliva lands against his entrance where the sweetest kisses were teased, his lips firmly pressed against his skin. Louis felt so calm with every long stripe of his tongue that Harry made between his cheeks, to be followed immediately by vigorous licks around his hole, hungry to pleasure him, his own cock throbbing for attention. 

" Harry the clock is ticking remember, Stop fucking teasing and hurry up" 

Harry shoves his tongue into his exposed hole, his tongue now met with warm walls as Louis moans explicitly. Harry fumbles with one hand to undo his pants while he enters his other fingers to start prepping. 

Harry enters slowly allowing the stretch before he begins to roll into him, his momentum building with every thrust as he holds onto his hips. 

The littlest of things such as the curve in Louis' spine while being on all fours, and the way his tongue rests gently in the corner of his mouth as he happily recieves what's been given, all turns Harry on in a way he has never felt with anyone else before. 

Harry isn't going to last long he can already feel himself on edge, ready to spill any minute. Taking a hand he reaches around to push away Louis' hand which was currently stroking himself. Harry jerks him off in rhythm with every time he pushes inside, both coming to a climax within seconds of each other. It's beautifully satisfying and it's unfortunately quick but it also is very much......... perfect. 

Sex with Louis, pregnancy sex to be precise, is now Harry's all time favorite new activity.

***************

Louis is twelve minutes early for the appointment today and decides to wait inside in the waiting room where it's cooler. It's not really 'hot' as such but it is warm and his fluctuating hormones seem to be giving him hot flushes. The first thing he does is look at the time on the wall. He pats his pockets and curses when he remembers that he left his phone on charge at home in the bedroom. 

'Shit' 

To say Louis was a tad annoyed would be an understatement. The last few weeks Harry had literally been crossing off the days on the calendar for this appointment and the lady just called out his name and Harry is nowhere in sight. When the door opens and he hears his name being called, he can't deny the disappointment he felt.

Laying down on the bed this time feels different. The screen is on and right before him are visions of his two big babies but his eyes keep finding themselves on the door, waiting and praying that at any given moment Harry will enter on through.......but he doesn't.

" Is your partner not joining us today?" 

Louis feels like he wants to curl up, eat ice cream, and cry. All he wants is Harry by his side but it seems like fate wasn't going to allow for that to happen. He hates having to do this alone, again.

" No, apparently not."

His voice comes across quiet and the lady only barely hears him. He feels the doppler and it causes him to close his eyes for a split second, by doing so he hopes it will aid in holding back the tears. 

The scan flies by and Louis feels like he wasn't really present for most of it as his mind was preoccupied. He can't even call him to find out where the fuck he was and it was driving him insane but the anger turned to worry pretty quickly when he began to think about the 'what ifs' 

What if he was in an accident

What if he is hurt

What if

What if 

What if

" You ready? You are a hundred percent sure you want to know the genders because I can tell you. I've seen already." 

Louis double questions himself because should he find out now if Harry isn't there, it doesn't feel right at all. He clears his throat while looking down at his bump. 

" Please, Yes I would love to know."

He still feels a little sticky from where the gel had been rubbed off but he re-adjusted his t-shirt over his slacks and smiled at the radiographer on his way out. There were two people in the waiting room. One being a much older pregnant man presumably almost due and the other........was Niall. 

" What are you-" 

The alarm had gone off in his head that something must be wrong. Harry's not here but Niall is? Panic and anxiety are fuelled by sensations and right now all his prior thoughts from earlier are racing through him, now finding himself desperate for answers as he ignores the way he starts to shake. 

" Where's Harry, Niall where is he?" 

Niall had received a call from a very frantic Harry who begged him to go to the appointment. Niall was happy too, having had a heart-to-heart with Louis months ago the two have become somewhat closer, which Harry thanks the lords above for every night. Biting at his nail, Niall walks forward to approach him. 

" I'm so sorry I didn't get here in time, they said you had just gone in but they wouldn't let me in and -" 

" NIALL, please" 

Swaying side to side nervously he could see the way Niall was so tense as he finally let's Louis know. 

" It's Lachlan." 

~~~An hour 

earlier

“ Hey mum, I’m just leaving the office now to meet Lou, and-“

What makes Harry begin to panic is the desperation in Anne’s voice, a sense of worry he has never heard from her before.

“ I will be right there.“

Ring ring, ring ring

No answer, again. Harry has rang Louis eleven times and left four messages. Time is running out and he knows now he isn’t going to make it for the appointment. ’ Shit’ he mumbles to himself as he speeds along in the car in an attempt to reach Lachlan sooner.

Stressing out he decides to call Liam hoping that he can help him out.

“ Oh thank God you answered. I’m trying to call Lou, I can’t get to the appointment today, any chance you can meet him there Li? I don’t want him to be alone.“

Harry’s face falls when he hears the words he really didn’t need to hear.

“ I’d love to Harry but I’m with Zayn at his parent’s house, we don’t come back for another two days. I’m really sorry, you know I would if I was there.“

Walking into the hospital he locates the nurse’s station to find out where his son was. Lucky enough the lady was very quick and kind in handing over the information and after a fast walk to the elevator, he finds himself outside of room 18.

Anne is sitting beside a sleeping Lachlan, standing to her feet when she sees him enter.

“ What the hell happened?“ Harry walks over caressing his face, carefully so as to not disturb him.

“ We were at the beach and he was building a sand castle and he was fine. I noticed he started sweating a lot and I thought he may have been dehydrated but“

Anne begins to cry, the memory of what happened making her feel guilty even though it’s not her fault.

“ I felt his head and he was steaming hot. I asked him to stand up and he did. He said he didn’t feel well and then he…..he just collapsed Harry, he passed out.“

Harry rubs her back and skims over Lachlan. He has a couple of cords around him, one to read his pulse and the other being an oxygen cord.

“ What have the doctors said?“

“ Not a lot, they have been waiting for you.“

Of course, Harry kissed his son’s head and pressed the buzzer. After talking with a lovely nurse who came into the room Harry requested to see the doctor tending to his boy. After what seemed like an extremely long twenty minutes, Harry finally got the chance to seek for some answers.

“ What happened to him, is he ok?“

The doctor was very thorough in his answers which Harry appreciated. Not believing this is happening, Harry becomes a bit overwhelmed.

“ So, Mr Styles if you wouldn’t mind, we would really like it if you could fill out this paper work as soon as possible so I can begin some blood samples for what we have just discussed.“

Lachlan stirs just as the doctor is leaving.

“ Papa?“

“ Sshh I’m here baby, you ok sweetheart?“

Lachlan just flutters his eyes.

“ I’m sleepy“

Pulling the blanket up a little higher he kisses his forehead.

“ Go to sleep baby, it’s ok.“

It’s not for another half an hour until Louis bursts through the door. Louis nearly feels his heart sink into his guts when his eyes land upon his boy. Harry hugs him tightly.

“ Harry he is so pale, he-“

“ I know. The doctor just left, they are going to do some blood work. They want to check all his levels and just see if anything isn’t looking right. At the moment they aren’t too sure what’s happening.“

Anne excuses herself to go and grab a coffee just as the doctor walks back in.

“ Mr Styles, is there any medical history we need to be concerned about? Any past infections or sickness, any hereditary issues maybe?“

“ No, he has always been a healthy kid up until now. As far as hereditary, he was adopted and I dont -“

He realizes what he is saying and looks straight at Louis.

“ This is my partner Louis, he um, he is actually Lachlan’s biological parent.“

Louis leans forward to shake the man’s hand.

“ Nothing in regards to me and as far as I know, my grandparents died of heart attacks and my grandma had diabetes but no, nothing else that I can think of.“

As the doctor takes notes on his clipboard Harry watches Lachlan intensely.

“ Thank you, it’s not much to go on but it’s a start at least. We will look into his sugar levels as well now we know your history and um….what about the other parent?“

It’s only five words but it’s enough to send shivers through both Harry and Louis’ entire bodies. Louis can feel the weight from Harry’s glare, he doesn’t know whether it’s of annoyance or concern, either way, he feels put on the spot.

“ Oh um…I don’t really know I’m sorry. If there was anything of significance I never knew, he never shared anything like that with me.“

Braving to look over in his direction, Harry’s head was pointed at the ground and Louis felt hopeless because fuck Marcus for never wanting to talk about anything other than sports or gossip.

“ I see“ the doctor says as he nods his head slightly. “ Any chance you can find out? It could really help.“

It’s been seconds since the doctor has left and Louis has no idea on what to say or do as they sit there in silence. Holding onto Lachlan’s small hand, all Louis can think about is Marcus. Having to talk to him is the last thing he ever wants to do but for Lachlan, he would put all his own fear behind him and do it without any question.

“ Harry I can-“

“ No.“

It’s a firm no which surprises him. He raises his eyebrows a little shocked at the response thinking it was going to be something entirely different.

Noticing the look Louis is currently possessing, he lowers his hand down gently onto Louis’ knee.

“ I’m sure it’s nothing serious. Let’s just wait for the blood results and we can go from there.“

Anne leaves to go home thirty minutes later and it’s become severely quiet in Lachlan’s room. Harry jumps an inch to face Louis.

“ Oh my god, how did the scan go, shit I’m so sorry babe. With everything going on I completely forgot to ask. I really wanted to be there. Did Niall make it?“

Louis smiles as he rubs his belly. He entwined their fingers and leaned over to whisper.

“ Lou! Are you serious? Are you freaking serious? Oh God. I’m so happy baby.“

Harry bends down to kiss his belly.

Two hours pass and Harry doesn’t ignore the fact that Louis has yawned six times in the last minute alone.

“ Babe, please go back home and rest, get some sleep.“

Louis looks annoyed at the comment as he stands to stretch his legs.

“ No, I’m not going anywhere, I will stay with you here over night.“

Harry sighs quietly to himself because how does he inform Lou that only a legal parent or guardian is allowed to stay overnight and since Louis isn’t technically his parent, Harry is the only one allowed to stay at the hospital until further notice. The hospital has strict rules and since Lachlan is a minor, a parent must stay with him at all times.

Harry gulps and Louis can tell something is wrong but weirdly enough somehow Louis connects the dots.

“ I can’t stay can I? “

Harry offers up a sympathetic smile but he knows it doesn’t help in any way because Louis looks devastated.

“ Oh…“

Even though he understands, it doesn’t lessen the pain.

“ If he wakes up, can you tell him I came by and that I will be here first thing in the morning and don’t forget to kiss him for me please.“

On the drive home, Louis can not believe how much has happened in such a short space of time today. No matter how fragile our lives are, time can change things quickly but the world doesn’t stop for anyone…. including the Styles household.

Louis spends all night tossing and turning in the sheets. He has only been living in this house for two weeks and tonight as he is all alone, the house feels so big, so bare, and so empty. Just after 1 am he surrenders to the idea of no sleep and makes his way down to the kitchen where he demolishes a large bowl of coco pops.

It’s 8.40 am when he walks inside the little bakery. He had an idea while laying in bed on how to tell Lachlan about the twins. He had been getting very excited about finding out whether he was to have brothers or sisters and Louis has the perfect way to tell him. He places his order and only has to wait fifteen minutes while she decorates them.

It’s just after 9.15 am when Louis slowly opens up the door but he is delighted at what he sees.

“ Daddy!“

Louis lowers his stuff down onto the side chair and races to give him a squeeze.

“ How are you feeling baby any better?“

Lachlan is sitting up and looks much healthier than he did yesterday so Louis takes that as a good sign.

“ Brother or sisters Loulou?“

Harry laughs at his determination.

“ He has been asking all morning. I told him he had to wait until you got here.“

Louis bends over to Harry’s ear.

“ Don’t worry, I checked on the way in here, he can have them“

Not having a clue what he is talking about, Louis picks up the small box he was carrying when he walked in. Placing it on the bed Lachlan smiles as he gets a teeny bit excited.

“ What are you waiting for? Open it up and see.“

He doesn’t waste time in lifting the lid. He smiles at the objects and only then notices the colors.

“ Does that mean what I think it means?“

“ Yes, darling.“

Lachlan looks again and smiles “ I’m so lucky“

“ A brother and a sister, wow! Did you see that Papa a boy and a girl!“

Sometimes when Louis and Lachlan share a laugh or a smile or any moment at all, Harry sometimes feels his heart couldn’t get any fuller. Looking at his boys ignites a sense of pride within, a love he never thought he’d feel again.

His thoughts are interrupted when a loud knock is heard against the door.

“ Good morning, do you mind if we have a word outside for a moment?“

Harry looks at Louis and then to the doctor.

“ Sure.“

The doctor takes his time explaining to Harry that so far his sugar levels have been fine, so that was ruled out. Then came a word every parent hates to hear ’ But ’

“His blood results show high levels of red blood cells and at the moment we aren’t sure what is causing it, we have an idea but it’s something we believe may be hereditary and before going through the extensive steps to test your boy we’d prefer to know if the other parent does indeed hold the gene and to what extent their symptoms are. It would make things a lot easier for us and for Lachlan’s diagnosis and treatment.

“ What do you think it is?“

The doctor is reluctant to answer, not wanting to cause Harry to panic if it wasn’t needed.

“ Please Mr Styles is there any chance of getting hold of the other parent?“

Harry nods.

“ Yes.“

Standing outside of the door, Louis had joined Harry the moment the doctor had walked away.

“ We need to find Marcus.“

Harry hates that he has said those words. Words he never imagined would ever leave his lips. Louis can already tell by the seriousness in his tone that something is wrong. Louis doesn’t reply opting to instantly pull out his phone. He is praying like all hell that Marcus still has the same number and that he can remember it correctly. He had deleted his number years ago so going off memory might prove to be a little hard.

The first number he tries gives him a not in service tone. Starting to pace the corridor Louis tries again when he changes the last digit realizing he might have gotten it wrong. Harry knows the moment Louis freezes and stares at him that Marcus has answered.

“ It’s Louis…..No I’m not calling for that.“

Harry rolls his eyes hating every minute of this unavoidable circumstance.

“ I need to talk to you. Do you have any……what do you mean? Don’t be an ass, I just want to know………no, no way…………..fine!!“

It’s killing Harry who is only hearing one side of the conversation. Looking at his phone Louis checks to make sure that yes, Marcus did just hang up on him.

“ Well? ….“ Harry asks.

“He is happy to answer any questions but only if I agree to see him face to face.”

Watching the veins in Harry’s face and neck expand as he becomes angry is just as he expected because he himself is pissed off too.

“ Over my fucking dead body you are!“

Louis gets it. He totally understands the anger but what other choice do they have?

“ You need to let me do this for Lachlan.“

Harry was worried about what price Louis would have to pay when he is currently 5 months pregnant. There’s no way Marcus would give up anything for ‘free’. He didn’t want to risk anything and therefore demanded he goes with him.

“ Then I come with you, that’s not up for debate Lou, you are pregnant and“

Harry sits down in the corridor chair.

“ When and where did he say?“

“ Today in two hours. He um, he said he lives here now.“

“ This is fucking bullshit.“

Harry gets up storming over towards the nurse’s station while Louis remains still in his seat. He slowly picks at his nails nervous about having to face Marcus once again and he hasn’t seen Harry upset like this in months and he is worried all their hard work within their relationship may soon be jeopardized.

“ Took a bit of convincing but they have allowed for my mum to watch him since she is family so, I will ring her now. “

Louis hasn’t said anything. It isn’t because he is scared to but because he doesn’t know how to express his current feelings because he doesn’t understand them himself. He is hurt, angry, sad, upset, and frightened for both Lachlan and meeting Marcus.

“ LOUIS, I said are you coming?“

Louis is snapped out of his thoughts and rises to his feet. Remembering Jamie’s words from their last session, Louis carefully but confidently addresses the tone in which he did not just appreciate.

“ You angry at me Harry or the situation?“

Jamie had been trying to teach the men that taking frustrations out on each other when the receiving person was not at fault, was inappropriate and can be damaging. He explained you should always ask or examine the situation before taking or directing blame or anger. Harry realises instantly the mistake he had just made.

“ Shit I’m sorry babe, I’m not angry at you, no sorry. I’m just really tired and stressed and I shouldn’t have yelled your name like that. Please forgive me. This is fucking mad Louis. This is not how either of us planned the first few weeks of our new life together.“

Louis interrupts by kissing his lips.

“ Just breathe. We’ve got this ok. I can handle Marcus just wait and see. Don’t worry about me or Lachlan, it’s you and me until the end alright. Deep breath.“

Anne was happy to come back and wait with Lachlan. She wasn’t overly thrilled with where they were headed but understood it was necessary.

---

“ You told me to relax a hundred times, so maybe now it’s time to take your own advice.“

Harry lowers his hand down onto Louis’ knee which has been bouncing erratically for the last 10 minutes. Of course, Marcus is fashionably late and there’s no doubt he has done it purposefully. Harry places his hand on Louis’ belly and smiles making Lou calm down almost instantaneously.

“ Well isn’t that just fucking sweet?“

The voice makes Louis turn around super fast being met with the famous Marcus grin and Harry stands immediately.

“ Calm the fuck down there princess no body’s going to hurt him, although I don’t know if I can say the same about me.“ Marcus says sarcastically.

Harry sniggers at the remark.

“ Why do you fancy another black eye?“ He retorts back.

Louis rises to his feet evidently standing between them acting as a  barrier. Marcus eyes his stomach and grins.

“ Wow Louis, you never really could hold back from all the junk food could ya.“

Louis doesn’t have to look at Harry to know he is fuming already. He places his arm straight out to stop Harry from lunging forward, subconsciously knowing he was about to do it.

“ WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!“ Harry growls making Marcus laugh as he looks at Louis once more.

“ Whoah, baby honey you better control that protective little mutt of yours before I turn around and fucking leave.“

And just like all those years ago, Louis felt himself cower down at his demand. He felt weak and ashamed and he hoped Harry hadn’t noticed. Harry had his fists clenched, his jaw tightened hard, ready to pounce at any given moment he lays a finger or says anything else out of line.

“ Marcus, please. It’s Lachlan he is sick.“

Louis hated the way he felt he had to beg and be nice to such a disgusting monster. To his surprise, Marcus frowned upon hearing that and toned down his overbearing masculine stance.

“ What?“ He asks.

“ He is sick Marcus. He is in the hospital. He collapsed and has had blood done. We need to ask you about any medical history, the doctor needs to know as it might help him.“

Marcus doesn’t respond instead sitting down onto the end of the bench seat. It shocks Louis that Marcus seems worried, even possibly upset and Louis shrugs his shoulders when Harry gives him a questionable look because he has no idea how to proceed.

“ What do you need to know?“ Marcus asks calmly.

Louis feels himself loosen up a little and sits down next to him at a comfortable distance apart as Harry stands protectively beside him.

“ Everything. Any medical conditions, past illnesses all that kind of stuff.“

He can see Marcus is really thinking about it and it seems too good to be true that Marcus not only looks concerned but is helping so freely.

And it is………..

Because there it is. That fucking smug little smirk he does when he knows he is about to get what he wants.

“ I do have a health condition, yes, your precious son might have inherited it from me.“

He stands up and begins to walk away leaving Harry and Louis scared and confused. He doesn’t get very far because a large hand grips his biceps stopping him in his tracks.

“ Where the fuck do you think you are going? You can’t just say that and then leave.“

Marcus stares at Harry’s hand that is tightly squeezing his arm. Looking back up into Harry’s eyes he warns him harshly.

“ GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME NOW!!“

It takes a couple of seconds before Harry removes his hand. Louis looks to Marcus desperate for more answers.

“ Louis you ain’t got nothing to offer in return for information, as much as I love that fine ass of yours, the swollen stomach is very much a turn-off.“

“ YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!“

Harry lunges forward but retracts back when Louis shouts.

“ HARRY STOP“

Marcus’ comments hadn’t affected Louis, after all, he was used to them. Shit like that he had heard quite often back in the days.

“ Marcus, please. “ Louis begs.

“ That is my boy, your own DNA.“

Louis is pretty sure he hears something that resembles a growl emitting from Harry standing behind him but chooses to ignore it. Marcus smiles and Louis is fully aware he wants something.

“ Ok, I will tell you. “

Marcus has been winding Harry up this entire time and it’s been working effortlessly. But nothing compares to the outrage Harry feels when he hears the following words, the same very words making Louis turn to the side and vomit.

“ But I want to meet Lachlan, properly.“

---

A/N

Naughty

Marcus.

He will also appear in the next chapter.

So a boy and a girl for

Larry

.

Who’s

got any name guesses? And before anyone says it, no I will NOT use

Darcy

!

Also, there are only about 4 or 5 chapters left…..and

I

have already started the final chapter as it came to me in my sleep, and had to write it down

.

All

I

can say …….

is I’m

freaking

scared of you guys

😱

Also, I picture their therapist as Jamie Doran.

Chapter 20 - Diagnosis

A/N

I’m no medical professional so if things don’t add up, just pretend they do. All medical info was sourced from good ol’ trusted google😂

It may seem like I’m tying up loose ends, to which I am. It’s needed for the following chapters as there’s time jumps preparing for the ending.

Possible trigger warning for health issues.

---

’ One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go, whether it is Love, hurt, anger, bitterness, loss, or betrayal. ‘Change’ is never an easy task, as sometimes we fight to hold on but with courage and strength, every now and then, we also fight to let go. ’

Lachlan is in great spirits when they return to the hospital and Louis had that hidden silent hope that things might be looking upwards. He doesn’t even look sick anymore which Louis imagines is great news. The doctor is not coming in until later this afternoon and Harry is hoping they are cleared to go home. So maybe this little meeting with Marcus doesn’t need to go ahead after all.

Marcus followed in the car behind them and now all three are standing awkwardly outside of Lachlan’s door.

“ I swear to God Marcus if you say or do anything to upset him or place one foot out of line, I will rip your fucking throat out, do you understand me!“

Surrendering his hands up in defeat Marcus nods in agreement to Louis who is currently freaking out. This was his worse nightmare and it had become true. He had tried his best at keeping his boy away from this monster and now as he stands before him, it’s making him ill. He can feel the contents in his stomach churning at just the thought alone of Marcus being anywhere within arm’s reach of him.

Watching Harry kiss Louis’ cheek earns a scoff from Marcus who obviously was hit with a sting of jealousy.

“ I’m going to go in and settle him, come in when you are ready babe alright?“

The moment Harry is gone, Marcus grabs a hold of Louis’ arm making him tense all over.

Every memory of Marcus ever laying a hand on him now flashing through his mind as though it’s on a tortuous repeat. Marcus noticed the way Louis had gasped at the unexpected contact and retracts his hand immediately.

“ Sorry, I um…Can we just wait a minute? I um…“

Louis finds it a little strange, the way that he is behaving. Nothing ever fazes Marcus, so it seems bizarre that he looks kind of nervous. There’s a small patch of sweat forming around his forehead and he is fumbling with his fingers as he anxiously and continuously wipes his hands down his jeans.

“ I will be right back.“

Louis stares at him dumbfounded. He wanted this meeting and now he is acting like it’s some sort of punishment. ’ Good, hope he backs out of it and fucks off ’ he wishes to himself. But then he remembers the reason he is there with them to begin with.

“ Fine, just come in when you are ready then.“

Louis opens the door and Harry is surprised none the least to see him enter on through alone. Passing it off Louis looks to a happy Lachlan.

“ Hey sweet, you doing alright?“

Anne picks up her bag and says her goodbyes and only a mere 8 minutes later, there’s a soft knock at the door. Harry is quick to clasp Louis’ hand tightly, internally screaming to himself that this was actually happening.

Louis instinctively shuffles forward towards the bed in protective mode while Harry stands abruptly. The door opens slowly and Lachlan at first smiles when he sees a huge brown teddy with three balloons tied around its wrist.

“ Wow wee!“ Lachlan is excited at the oversized gift but his smile falls instantly when Marcus’ face appears from behind his present.

Lachlan remembers him and automatically reaches for Louis.

“ Daddy?“ Lachlan looks to Louis confused at what is happening.

Harry can see the fear in Lachlan’s eyes and he really fucking hates this and he doesn’t know what to say or do. Luckily Louis takes control and strikes up enough courage to manage the conversation smoothly.

“ It’s ok darling, papa and I are here. He won’t hurt you, will you Marcus?“

Marcus takes the cue and walks closer to lower the bear onto the end of the bed. Normally Lachlan would dive straight for it but he doesn’t because he is clinging to Louis like there is no tomorrow.

“ I’m sorry if I scared you last time I saw you. I apologize. I’m Marcus, an old friend of your dad.“

Lachlan tilts his head around looking for clarification that he is telling the truth. Louis nods his head yes and Lachlan redirected his attention back to Marcus.

“ My name is Lachlan, is this teddy for me?“

Harry tastes blood and is quick to realize he had been clenching his jaw so tight he had bitten the inside of his cheek. Marcus steps around to the side of the bed and sits gently, trying his hardest to not stuff this up.

“ Yes it is for you, do you like it? Your dad told me you are sick, so I wanted to get something to hopefully cheer you up.“

Louis hasn’t taken his eyes off of Marcus the entire time. Always offering a warm glare of ’ Behave yourself’.

“ I do, thank you but why did you buy this for me? You don’t know me.“

Both Louis and Harry immediately give Marcus the ‘look’ to make sure he stays on track to not disclose who he is.

“ I just…um…I…“

Louis feels terrible for helping him out, but he does.

“ He just wants to help see that you get better sweetheart that’s all. Marcus doesn’t have any children so he wanted to pop by and just say a quick hello and wish you well.“

Lachlan smiles at Marcus sadly.

“ That’s sad you don’t have any kids. My daddy is having two babies, a boy, and a girl. I’m going to be the best big brother ever.“

Lachlan beams with so much pride and happiness. Marcus actually smiles at that, surprising both Harry and Lou.

“ I bet you are. “

The small talk continues for another twenty minutes where Marcus asks about school and all his favorite things and when Louis gives Marcus the hint about the time he stands up to say goodbye.

“ It was nice to meet you Lachlan.“

Louis shakes his head ‘no’ because he already knew what Marcus was trying to ask. But in old Marcus style, he does it anyway.

“ Can I give you a hug goodbye?“

Louis lets out a sigh as Lachlan opens up his arms.

“ Ok. Thanks for my bear. That was kind of you. My daddies buy me stuff all the time, they are the best parents in the whole wide world.“

Harry can’t hide the smile he produces when he hears that. Louis however, loves the little dig and shade that Lachlan has no idea that he just threw.

The moment Marcus wrapped Lachlan in his arms, Harry lowered his hand down onto Louis’ shoulder to comfort him because he could sense the anger was burning inside of Louis just as strong and fierce as it was within himself.

Harry interrupts the hug by finally speaking.

“ Baby, papa, and daddy are just going to walk Marcus out, we will be straight back in soon ok, you can play with your bear until we get back.“

“ Ok Papa“

In the corridor, Marcus turns to Louis with a smile.

“ He is amazing Louis, such a bright boy he, oh my god he is so….“

Not liking the way he was gushing Harry was quick to put an end to it.

“ He is yes and that’s why you will NEVER come near him again so whatever it is you are thinking asshole forget it! I’m glad you think all that but bare in mind, you come near him again and I will destroy you. Got it!“

Marcus dropped the smile frowning at Harry before looking at Louis.

“ May we have a minute alone?“

Harry steps forward but Louis stops him. For some reason Louis wants to talk to him, he is curious as to what Marcus wants but deep down Louis has a few things he wants to say, having somehow gained some confidence to do so.

“ Harry it’s fine. Don’t leave me though but just wait here and watch please.“

There was no way Harry would leave and he looked at Marcus giving him a once-over.

“ It’s fine. I won’t hurt him.“ Marcus says trying to sound convincing.

Harry watches on apprehensively as they both move further down the hallway for a ounce of privacy.

“ Louis I…I’m sorry, sorry for what I did to you, I’m really sorry and-…“

“ What?“

Louis can’t believe his ears as he chuckles a smug response.

“You are sorry! For what Marcus?”

Louis isn’t sure he wants to know the answer right now or ever for that matter. He didn’t ever expect to be having this conversation at all, let alone in a hospital corridor with their son only meters away.

“ Louis please let me finish. I need to say this.“

Louis can feel tears brewing already and he doesn’t understand why this feels so heavy and daunting.

“ What I did to you was…I shouldn’t have done it and I regret it all, all of it. I was drunk and wasted and…look I know it’s no excuse but I’m sorry, You probably won’t believe me but you meant everything to me Louis.“

Louis runs his hands down over his face. He had never in his wildest dreams imagined he would get an apology. It feels weird, wrong, and surreal. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. Angry? Happy? Confused?

With no longer thinking clearly, Louis’ emotions take over and he finds his index finger on Marcus’ chest.

“ I loved you, Marcus. I gave you all of me. Everything I ever did, was for you. I fucking loved you and how was I repaid huh? You hurt me so badly, physically and mentally, and what? Do you think saying sorry will make it all better? YOU BROKE ME!“

Louis’ voice had risen catching Harry’s attention.

“I wish I could go back and change it all. If I could, I would. I wish I had never done it, any of it. I regret everything.”

Marcus can see the tears beginning to descend from his eyes and lifts his hand to wipe them but soon stops when he notices the way Harry is watching him like a hawk.

“ I don’t.“ Louis says, making Marcus confused.

“ If you didn’t do what you did to me, I wouldn’t have had Lachlan and that Marcus, that’s the only good thing I see about that situation now. The only nice thing you really ever did for me was give me my son. You took everything from me and turned my entire life upside down. No apology will ever change that. Now please, I beg of you. I did what you asked, now please fulfill your promise.“

After all the counseling sessions with Jamie, Louis puts the information to use and calms himself down. He can see the signs to look out for and believe it or not, he can tell Marcus seems sincere ……..but he can’t forgive him. He simply can’t do it.

“ Ok………Thank you for letting me meet him….. I really am sor- “

Not wanting to hear anymore he looks over at Harry making it clear he has had enough and he wants it to be finished. He wants nothing more now than to find out what Marcus knows and return to his boy.

Harry walks over like he has been instructed to.

“ He’s ready to talk, find out what we need to know.“

Louis walks away to get some water leaving Harry to deal with him. There’s a fountain a few feet away and Louis sits down trying to relax a little needing to shake off the heartache he currently felt. He hadn’t expected to hear Marcus try to apologise and it had thrown him off guard.

He looks over to see Marcus explaining something to Harry in detail, to whom is listening with full concentration. Louis jumps up when he sees the way Harry storms off in the opposite direction towards the nurses’ station. Marcus nods to Louis and turns to leave. With Harry racing off, it leaves Louis extremely frightened.

---

Louis hadn’t heard the front door open and close. He had no idea Harry had come home for a shower. He was too deep in research on the laptop to think about or notice anything else around him. He hasn’t been asleep yet having pulled an all nighter. It’s hard to sleep when only hours earlier a handful of words have turned your life upside down.

It’s not like he had intentionally snuck up behind him, it’s just Louis was so focused on the screen, anything else had become irrelevant and invisible.

“ Lou, don’t do this to yourself.“

There are more than ten different tabs open and the way Louis’ eyes are drooping he can Louis has had no sleep.

Slamming the lid, Louis stands up walking to the kitchen where he flicks on the kettle.

“ Coffee?“

Harry observes the way he makes his own coffee rather strong.

“ No I’m good thanks, but ahh since when are you drinking caffeine again?“

Louis was tired, snappy, and not in a good mood. He feels helpless and sad but most of all he feels guilty.

“ It’s my fault. If I chose someone other than Marcus then Lachlan….“

Harry drops his car keys down and immediately tried to hug him.

“ No don’t. Don’t do that Harry, don’t act like you don’t think his diagnosis is not my fault.“

Harry opts to stand beside him where they both lean back against the kitchen counter.

“ You heard what the doctor said babe, it’s not hereditary and he can live normally. If he keeps up with - “

Louis gets angry really quickly but his heart is hurting beyond comprehension.

“ NO HARRY! He said it isn’t common to be hereditary but there are times it is passed down, just like the doctor explained. Marcus says he has it too and as far as living ‘normal’, having to take medication for the rest of your life and removing blood frequently is not ‘normal’ HE HAS A TYPE OF BLOOD CANCER HARRY!!“

Harry pulls Louis’ head into his chest as Louis begins to cry, caressing his back as he lets Louis cry it out. The news hasn’t been easy on Harry either but he cried to himself at the hospital and on the way home, wanting to pull himself together to appear strong for Louis who he knew needed him to be.

The doctor had diagnosed Lachlan with PV.

Polycythemia Vera is a type of blood cancer . It is a type of chronic leukemia (blood cancer) to be exact, that causes your bone marrow to produce too many red blood cells. It progresses very slowly. These excess cells thicken your blood, slowing its flow, which may cause serious problems, such as blood clots. The condition can be fatal if not found or diagnosed properly as it can lead to heart attacks, strokes, and or pulmonary embolism with complications to the liver and spleen high on the list.

The doctor explained that Lachlan’s fatigue, shortness of breath, and feeling full were all symptoms and that they were lucky to diagnose so early on. At four years of age, Lachlan is now on blood thinners and has to have regular blood withdrawals. It’s the same procedure you would have if you were donating blood. A healthcare technician inserts a needle into a vein in your arm and withdraws a small amount of blood. This reduces your overall blood volume and your number of excess blood cells.

He reassured Louis and Harry that Lachlan will be able to endure a normal life if treatments are kept up and not to panic unless anything progresses for the worse. Of course, there were a couple of things that Harry and Louis were instructed to maintain such as making sure he ate healthy, keeping active, and avoiding cigarette smoke and low oxygen environments like high altitude.

However, Louis didn’t hear any of that having zoned out after hearing the word cancer. He stayed awake the entire night googling website after website trying to gain the knowledge he needed to try and help his boy.

---

“ You ready?“

Louis smiled and picked up his phone. He feels a little better now Harry had convinced him of having a shower and a short sleep. They are both eager to get back to Lachlan but Harry is surprised when halfway to the hospital Louis requests to be taken elsewhere.

“ Are you sure?“ Harry asks.

There’s something he needs to do, and wants to do… but it has to be on his own. With everything that’s been going on, he has realized that to fully be able to move on he needs to be less afraid. To gain his life back properly, he needs to lose the fear he still carries inside of him. Today it all changes.

“Yes. I need to do this …for me, for us, and for Lachlan. I can’t have him hurt or come after my family ever again.”

Within fifteen minutes Harry has found a car park and pulled over. Leaning over he kisses him sweetly watching his lover be brave as he opens up the door allowing Louis to step out.

“ I will catch an uber to the hospital. Tell Lachy I won’t be long.“

There are times we don’t get to fully close a chapter in our lives that we would rather forget. You don’t always get the closure you want, but sometimes you do get the outcome you need. In some cases you might not need closure at all, every now and then all that is needed, is just allowing yourself permission to simply ‘move on’.

Louis…enters the police station.

---

Three days later and Lachlan becomes a lot better and is discharged from the hospital. After speaking with the doctor they have decided to be upfront with Lachlan and tell him what’s really going on. They don’t want any more secrets filtrating their little family. Lachlan cried when Harry explained everything. There were tears and hugs and Louis continued to carry guilt even when he knew there was nothing he could have done to ever prevent it. The four-year-old took it in his stride and promised to be nothing but courageous and brave and pinky sweared to always take his medication with no fuss.

---

Three weeks later

Niall has been asking Louis every day to let him treat him to a fun morning out. Louis has been stressing since they left the hospital catering to Lachlan left right and center. Harry has been trying to convince him to relax a little, he is concerned all the stress is going to relate back to the babies and Harry finally begs Louis to whom eventually finally caves.

This morning has flown by and after hours of baby shopping and indulging in sweets and junk food while Harry isn’t around, Niall and Louis make one last stop at subway to collect a pickle and meatball sandwich for the drive home. Sounds disgusting and Niall wants to gag but Louis has been craving it all day.

“ Mmmm, This is what I’m talking about Ni, are you sure you don’t want to try it?“

Niall turns back around concentrating on the traffic as he turns the corner.

“ Nope, no way. That’s feral.“

Louis’ smile diminishes when he notices the way Niall has become quiet and wary. Something is upsetting him, he can tell by the way Niall has his lips rolled inwards as he taps the steering wheel, looking to scared to speak, worried about what he is about to say?

“ You going to tell me what’s bothering you Irish boy or is this a guessing game?“

It pulls the smallest grin but Niall needs to get something off his chest.

“ I’m so sorry Louis. I was angry and so disappointed in you and Harry was so down and upset and Kendall was there and…..“

“ Niall, what are you talking about?“

Niall has wanted to tell Louis for a while now but never knew when the ‘right time’ would be. He feels responsible for coaxing Harry into Kendall’s arms many moons ago. Initially, he had no intention of confessing but hearing Louis mention Kendall earlier today in spite towards Harry, is eating away at his subconscious. He wants Louis to know Harry wanted nothing to do with Kendall and that it was he who talked him into it.

“ It’s my fault. He never wanted to go near her and I pushed him, I encouraged him and if I never did that then you wouldn’t-“

“Oh”

Louis lowers the sandwich as he switches his attention towards Niall who is giving him a wide but worried glance. This news changes things. He had felt down about the Kendall incident for so long, a tinge of betrayal always laying in the back of his mind.

“ Please Louis, I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am. He never wanted her.“

Louis bites back into his sandwich chewing until it’s all gone as it goes deathly silent in the car.

“ Well, doesn’t change the fact he still chose to do it, does it?“

In fact, what Louis says doesn’t add up to how he feels. Hearing that Niall had convinced him does lighten the haste he felt towards him but at the same time, he had still chosen to do it.

“ Louis, please cut him some slack. I -“

“ Thanks for telling me.“

It’s quiet for the rest of the drive home leaving Louis to dwell in his thoughts. He feels kind of bad for how the day has ended with Niall after having had so much fun all morning. Turning off the engine as they arrive home, Niall unbuckled and jumped out first walking around to open the trunk. Handing Louis the smallest and lightest one, Louis ignores it and wraps his arms around him instead.

Feeling relieved Niall embraces him back hugging him tightly. Louis let’s go first.

“ I really appreciate you spending the day with me it’s been super filling.“ He laughs patting his stomach and Harry must have a sixth sense because he opens up the front door to greet them.

“ Oh wow, nice to see you two have been busy. What do we have here?“ Harry points towards the pile of six bags sitting on the ground.

“ Yeah, that was me actually, couldn’t help myself. There are rattles, educational books to read, and some other cute items I just couldn’t say no to.“ Niall smiles at Harry who returns it back before reaching over to greet Louis with a quick peck to the lips.

“ You smell like pickles. You did keep an eye on his sugar intake right Niall?“

Niall thinks about the list of things Louis has consumed today. The caramel milkshake The strawberry coated donuts The bag of skittles A snickers bar A subway roll And two cans of soda.

“ He was on his best behavior H, healthy foods entirely I swear.“

Harry had been worried about how much junk Louis had been eating. He isn’t concerned about him gaining weight but more so that he wasn’t getting enough nutrients and proper substance from ‘real’ healthy foods. Instead, he has been living off nothing but processed shit for the last couple of weeks.

Louis tries his best not to laugh and he succeeds but his smile gives it away completely.

“ You are such a lying prick Ni!“ Harry snarls.

The three laugh as they all grab a bag. Harry should be mad but he isn’t because this time several months ago he would have sold his soul to have his best friend and lover in the same room and now as he watches the way they whisper and giggle as they walk on through the door, Harry couldn’t be any happier if he tried.

---

It’s been a long day and with sore feet that are throbbing, all he cares about is lifting his legs up to relax a smidge. Since Harry is in the shower and he only just laid down, Louis curses when he hears the phone ringing from across the room. He can’t even call Lachy to get it for him because he is currently out with Zayn at the candy shop. Harry thinks they went off to the museum but Louis knows well and true where they are.

The moment he answers, he feels the blood drain from his face. He listens to the man talk and after five minutes he hangs up sitting down on the edge of the bed as he stares at the floor in disbelief.

Closure. It’s something we all seek at least once in our lives. Even the situations that we deemed impossible to move on from or put behind us can continue to pop up in our dreams or creep into our thoughts, haunting our minds beyond our own mental capacity. Sometimes, we find that all difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.

“ Lou, baby are you alright? Who was that?

Harry pats his hair with the towel as he emerges from the bathroom walking closer, frowning when he doesn’t get a response. 

“ Babe, what is it?“

Sitting down to face him, Harry takes a hold of his hand making Louis take a deep breath. He is shocked at what he has just heard but more relieved than anything else. He doesn’t know why it also makes him slightly sad.

“ That was the Detective I spoke to at the police station. Apparently, my statement has helped another two cases.“

Louis turns fully around to make eye contact as he begins to shake. Relief can be a funny thing and after so long of being scared and angry a new wave of ’ freedom ’ washes over him.

“ Marcus he, he um…He has been arrested, he is going to jail.“

Harry hugs him knowing he needs that reassurance. It’s been a very long and exhausting roller coaster with Marcus and he can sense Louis may feel a little overwhelmed to finally be able to move forward.

Louis explains that Marcus was already up on two other offenses, more serious and brutal than Louis’ case alone. With the statement he had made weeks ago, it had pushed the final verdict over the yellow line. Marcus hadn’t chosen to live in Holmes Chapel by his own free will, he was court-ordered to be there for the trial he was already under and today Marcus was sentenced to fifteen years. The officer also told Louis he too can take his assault claim to trial separately and add to the sentence but Louis was satisfied with the current outcome. He didn’t need that added stress when his babies were on their way. Just knowing Marcus was going to be locked up for a long time gave Louis enough satisfaction and contentment to feel the weight dissolve straight off his shoulders.

---

Time jump.

LOUIS= 36 weeks.

It’s been a blissful and happy few months with no longer having to fear running into Marcus. With everyone now settled into home life, Louis can’t help but be positive about what life has in store for them all. His back might be aching and the swelling around his ankles may be physically restricting everything he wants to do but it doesn’t stop him from feeling remotely lucky. The pregnancy is progressing well and Lachlan seems back to his ‘normal’ self, now that he has started his medication and treatment.

Looking around the nursery that he and Harry have spent the last few weeks designing, he can not be any more satisfied and joyous with the final outcome. It’s taken several hours a day, a lot of money, and unfortunately, some tears when Louis’ hormones liked to remind him of the pregnancy, crying at mistakes, along with tears of joy occasionally.

Louis wanted to keep the nursery simple and basic. Harry however had other ideas. Not liking how much he was spending he decided to let Harry have this moment and design as he pleased but when Harry suggested a carousel for the corner of the room, Louis had to draw the line. They went with the standard blue and pink cots and kept everything else white or gender-neutral.

It’s currently 5.30 pm and Louis is standing in the middle of the room, soon to be filled with two glorious little darlings, triple checking that he has everything he needs in order to prepare himself for upcoming parenthood. The cupboards are filled with an ample amount of clothes, and there are mountains of diapers but Louis keeps feeling like he is missing something. Opening up the drawer to place the last of the clothes he had been folding, he looks around the room to admire once more before heading downstairs to get started on dinner.

There’s a sense of pride and eagerness now with being so close to delivering. Is he nervous? Sure, but excitement and the longing to start their new little family overpowers any doubt or fears.

Until he feels something unexpected. A warm sensation of water now gushing down his leg………..

A noise gains his attention and he soon notices Lachlan standing at the door who smiles and runs off laughing before Louis can even stop him for help.

’ shit ’

He uses all the strength he has to not stress out. Keeping calm, he begins to pack away the couple of nappies that are left on the table. He feels a contraction making him clasp at his stomach.

“ Harrry…ow…shit.“

He tries to call out but he hasn’t realized due to the pain and concentration of trying to remain calm, his voice hadn’t projected very loud. With the tv sound a little higher in volume than normal, Harry wouldn’t have heard it anyway.

“ Daddy peed his pants! Daddy peed his pants. “ Lachlan sings running to where Harry is sitting on the lounge. He is clearly confused by the outburst at first and is not too quick to catch on as to what is really happening.

“ He what?“

“ Yep, he did a wee all over the floor, it was so funny papa you should have seen it. I thought only babies needed nappies.“ Lachlan is laughing so hard that he nearly cries.

Harry drops his glass which falls to the ground, luckily it’s carpet so it doesn’t break as Lachlan now watches on concerned at the way his papa reacts. Side-stepping around Lachlan who is now realizing something is most definitely wrong, Harry runs up the stairs calling out frantically, with no reply being received. The moment he reaches the doorway he stops to catch his breath, his eyes glancing back and forth between the wet puddle on the floor and Louis who is currently bent over, one hand to his lower back, the other firmly holding the back of the chair to steady himself.

Harry goes to speak but nothing comes out. He focuses in on the mess on the floor as he begins to internally panic. His babies are coming. In a few hours he will have another two beautiful children to love and protect and all of a sudden the fears and realization of a full house hit him all at once. No one is ever too ‘ready’ for impending labor. Harry hasn’t been present while someone is giving birth and he is starting to become a tad anxious. He is so deep in thought, his heart is racing at full pelt, the beats almost feeling as though they will break through his chest. He hadn’t heard Louis calling out his name.

Finally, he looks at Louis who is astonished by the way Harry has semi frozen.

“ For fuck sakes Harry, snap out of it and get the bloody car keys.“

TO BE CONTINUED……

---

A/N

The next chapter will take off right from this spot. Never done that before but hope it works.

Next chapter the twins will arrive…. yay !!

Thoughts about Lachlan?

Also as expected the next chapter will be mostly fluffy happy soppy stuff. 🤣

I have written 90% of the final chapter already and I’m really happy about the ending. It’s only a couple of chapters away. so excited

Chapter 21 - Baby Time💙💖

“ Harrry! You need to call Anne to watch Lachy“

Lachlan had been standing behind Harry, having followed him upstairs, worried about his daddy. He steps around a frazzled Harry and speaks up to answer Louis instead.

“ I called grandma, she’s on her way. I told her you did a wee on the floor she screamed in my ear daddy, it was so loud.“

As much pain as Louis is in right now, he doesn’t miss the opportunity to laugh.

“ I bet she did. Thank you, sweetheart.“

Harry is only now beginning to move as he lunges forward to collect the baby bag and a few other things around the room. Louis can see the sweat dripping down the side of his face and grabs his arm.

“ Babe, you really need to calm down, you are making me more nervous just by watching you.“

Harry, who is blinking rapidly takes a deep breath and finally pulls his shit together. Now coherent and fully submerged in the situation at hand, he turns to face his son.

“ Darling go and put on a jumper and some shoes for me ok.“

Harry helps Louis down the stairs carefully and straps the seatbelt around him comfortably in the car. He returns inside where he collects the hospital bag they had already packed and double checks that Lachlan is ready to go. The plan had always been that when Louis went into labor they would call Anne, who would meet with them at the hospital and take care of Lachlan. Before leaving the house, he calls her just to be on the safe side and confirm she’s defintely coming being lucky she only lives forty minutes away.

Pulling out of the driveway Lachlan is intrigued at all the fuss and still has no idea why, oblivious to what is happening.

“ Papa, where are we going?“

Between all the commotion and rushing around, both Harry nor Louis had explained to Lachy why and/or where they were going. Trying to shuffle around in his seat Louis turned slightly to face him

“ Oh, bub I’m so sorry. It’s too hard to explain but I didn’t wee myself darling the babies inside my tummy are coming out. Soon you will meet your little brother and sister.“

Lachlan cheered loudly causing Harry to intervene.

“ Lachlan Edward tone it down a notch I’m trying to concentrate.“

Lowering his head at being scalded Louis reaches back to squeeze Lachlan’s hand to reassure him.

“ Hey. I get you are panicking right now but he is just excited. Chill the fuck out“

Louis doesn’t even care that he has just cussed in front of Lachlan. Harry needed to be pulled out from whatever “episode” he is currently having.

Throwing Harry another warning glare he grips hold of the passenger side door handle.

“ For god’s sake Harry will you slow down, far out!“

Harry lets his foot off the gas a little and tries to apologize. He has read so many books now he knows getting to the hospital quickly should be a priority since his water had broken. He is stressing enough and Louis is right, he hadn’t realized how harshly he was turning the corners, or how fast he kept going through the traffic lights. If he had been focused and calm he would have heard the way Lachlan quietly begged “ Slow down papa you are scaring me.“

‘Another contraction?’ ’ How Bad?’ ’ Want me to go faster now?’ ’ One hasn’t slipped out of you yet has it?’ ’ Are you ok baby?’ ’ Lou you don’t look so good’

Louis wishes Harry would just shut the fuck up so he could concentrate on his breathing. Every ten seconds Harry would ask him something and it was really getting on his nerves. He couldn’t have been more excited to see the hospital up ahead.

---

It’s funny just how fast the night changes. Entering the building, the roles soon became reversed with Harry relaxing now that the doctors are close by and Louis is freaking out that Labor had started.

“ I don’t know if I can do this again Harry“

Lachlan is too smart for his own good having caught the word ‘again’.

“ Have you done this before Loulou? Do you have babies already?!? Where are they?“ The confusion on his face made Louis panic looking at Harry hoping he would deal with that as he clutched at his stomach, another contraction striking him in full swing.

“ Um…“ Harry stumbled.

“ Oh, thank goodness there you are !“

Turning around at the voice Lachlan smiles and runs.

“ Grandma!! My brother and sister are ready to meet me, they are ready now grandma they wanna see me!“

Saved by the gracious Anne.

“ I’m so glad you are here mum. I wasn’t expecting you for another fifteen minutes.“

Anne ruffles Lachlan’s head as she lowers him back down to the ground.

“ Yeah, I kinda sped a little. Can’t blame me though right? This is so exciting“ Clapping her hands together happily she eyes Louis who is sitting on the side of the bed rocking back and forth chuckling.

“ Oh, it runs in the family I see.“

Harry laughs and Anne is confused.

“ What am I missing here?“

“ Papa drove like a maniac it scared me and daddy.“

“ Harry! You had a child in the car I didn’t.“

---

“ I don’t feel so good“ Harry says as Louis looks at him concerned. They are currently waiting in a bed cubicle area of the delivery ward while the staff gets everything organized for theatre.

With his hand to his forehead, Harry dramatically pretends to faint giving Louis a mini heart attack.

“You’re not funny Styles!!!” He snaps making Harry grin.

It earns Harry a middle finger but it makes him giggle and seeing Louis smile means he succeeded.

“ I’m telling Jamie you just raised your voice at me like that Mr Tomlinson.“ Harry laughs and he has no idea why he is playfully teasing, he is pretty sure it has something to do with the nerves that he can’t seem to settle.

“ I don’t give a fuck about Jamie right now Harry, for all I care he can go and fuck himself ..owwww ow ow ow fucking shit, Jesus fucking christ!“ He screams.

With bad timing, an older lady approaches them with a blood pressure cuff in her hands.

“Is he normally this vocal?” She asks as she listens to Louis’ loud outbursts that are echoing down the corridors.

“ In the bedroom normally but….“

Realizing what he has just said he faces the nurse with a tomato-colored face.

“ Oh shit, I’m sorry, I’m nervous as hell, my babies are coming.“

The nurse lets out a laugh a lot louder than she had intended.

“Yes, they are. I’m just going to do his ‘obs’ Do you need anything?”

Harry doesn’t even need to think before splurting it out.

“ Valium would be great.“ Harry replies truthfully.

The lady once again goes to laugh but stops herself when she notices Harry isn’t laughing, in fact, he was dead serious.

“ Oh um, no I meant like, a chair or a face cloth maybe to wipe Louis’ forehead while we prepare the delivery theatre.“

Harry blushes totally embarrassed at the way his mouth is not cooperating with him tonight.

“ I truly apologize. Yes please, a chair and a cloth would be great thank you.“

For a further nineteen minutes, Louis curses as his contractions become quicker and more intense. A C-Section was always planned and finally, the doctor has come to examine Louis and make sure he hasn’t progressed too far. After getting the go-ahead Louis is moved into theatre.

Harry who is head to toe in blue scrubs is guided into the sterile room a mere ten minutes later and is now sitting down beside Louis who is staring at him with a mixture of different facial expressions. Somehow, Harry can see through and decipher them all, the fear, the anticipation, the nerves, the anxiety, and excitement to meet his children. He leaned over to kiss his forehead which Louis needed more than Harry had realized.

Louis for a moment drifts off into his past and he reminisces the sounds he was once familiar with all those years ago. All the voices, the footsteps, the smells but when he feels a hand that is entwined with his own squeeze him tightly he opens his eyes. He isn’t met with Mel this time around, instead a beautiful set of forest green eyes doting back at him with nothing but pure love. Harry lifts their hands kissing his knuckles.

“ You can do this Lou, I’m right here sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.“

Louis needed that and he felt his heart rate lower, a newfound sense of excitement empowering his mind.

“ I love you, Harry.“

Hearing that right now at this moment caused something inside Harry to combust with a realization. If there was any time in this world where he felt his soul has become anchored it was here and now, right before the man who had seemed to teether all broken parts of himself and put them back together. There was no more denial or being blindsighted by beauty or lust. Louis is it for him and always will be Whatever life has in store for them, they will get through it together, as a whole, united as one. Harry was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

“ I love you too daddy“

Louis frowned in confusion but it all soon came to light when he heard a soft cry. Harry had kept Louis occupied for the last few minutes as the surgeon cut open and tugged around Louis’ abdomen.

Louis’ eyes followed the baby who was currently being wiped over and wrapped in a white thin blanket. The lady handed Harry the small bundle to whom he brought up to Louis’ face immediately.

Louis looked at the blue beanie and then at Harry with a smile. Grabbing his small hand Louis cooed as he began to softly let tears roll down his cheek.

“ You are so beautiful, baby boy.“

Another cry erupted making Louis snap his eyes at Harry.

“ She’s here.“

Harry isn’t sure how much more love his heart could possibly hold as the nurse brings baby number two over to his arms.

“ Here you go, I will take this baby to be weighed while you meet this little one.“

Swapping them over Harry looks down at the little girl in his arms and begins to sob uncontrollably.

“ She’s so perfect Lou.“ He manages to say as he leans forward to expose her tiny crinkled face.

Caressing her soft cheek, Louis looks at Harry who is already staring at him.

“ I may not be perfect Lou but I am lucky. Lucky to have you, lucky to have Lachy, and lucky for our twins. I love you all so very much. You have done so well baby. Thank you. I can’t thank you enough for everything, Lou.“

Louis is the happiest and most content he has been in years.

---

It’s been an hour since the twins were born and Lachlan has yet to meet them. Anne had taken him down to the little outdoor playground located just outside the hospital to keep him entertained while Louis was in theatre. Now that they are settled into a room with both babies miraculously already fed and asleep, Louis looks down at them in their clear bedside cribs.

There are places inside your heart that you don’t even know exist until you have a child. Louis hisses a little as he tries to move a fraction to view their faces better.

“ You ok? Are you in pain? Should I call someone?“

Louis feels special. Harry is being so adorably cute and it’s borderline making him want to puke at how ridiculously in love he feels.

“ I’m good. A little sore but I’m on cloud nine Harry truly.“

Harry kisses Louis again for what feels like the hundredth time today. Their lips are still connected when the door slowly creaks open. Lachlan is standing close to Anne’s leg somewhat hesitant to enter. His eyes are concentrated on the little cribs as Louis calls him over and without even moving his eyes he shakes his head no. It’s no secret that Lachlan is scared or maybe a little nervous to meet his siblings. He has been so excited since the moment he found out about them but now that the time has come it all feels frightening to him.

“ It’s ok sweetheart. They won’t hurt you. Do you want to meet them, I can walk you over if you like.“ Harry offers extending his arm out for Lachlan to hold.

For some unknown reason, Lachlan looks to Louis like he is asking permission. When Louis nods for him to go ahead Lachlan takes Harry’s hand and is led across the room, a smidge of fear still prominent over his face.

Lachlan takes a few seconds to examine the sleeping girl in front of him. His face is expressionless and for a split second Louis gets worried…..until Lachlan smiles.

“ Look daddy, she’s holding my finger.“

Lachlan strokes her cute button nose. Harry and Louis had agreed to introduce one each so they both felt included in this milestone.

“ Lachlan, this is your little sister. Her name is Avah“

Louis felt proud as his eldest son met his newborns. It felt wholesome and in the circle of things, he now felt his little family was heartwarmingly complete.

Watching Lachlan stroke her little cheek as he smiled so brightly, made Louis understand completely that Lachlan already adored her.

“ She is pretty isn’t she?“

“ She is Papa, pretty as a butterfly.“

Lifting her little hand he reaches over on his tippy toes to kiss her tiny fist. In what was supposed to be a whisper but wasn’t, he stuns Harry and Louis.

“ I love you so much butterfly.“

Shifting a little around the other side he picks up his littlest brother’s hand. Harry cleared his throat, excited for his turn but Lachlan beat him to it.

“ And this is my bruvver, right? What’s his name, Papa?“

“ It’s pronounced ‘brother’ and his name is Grayson.“

With nothing but hope and joy Lachlan begs his papa.

“ Can I hold him papa pleasssseeee“

Harry looks at Louis for confirmation. Louis shuffles a little trying to sit up straighter in the bed making him wince slightly. Lachlan notices and his smile falls.

“ Daddy?“ Lachlan does not like the way Louis looks like he is in pain. Of course, at his age, he has no clue as to what his dad had just experienced. Seeing Louis upset never has and never will sit right with Lachlan.

“ I’m ok baby, I promise. You can hold him ok, sit down here with your arms out and papa will pick him up for you.“

“ You promise you ok?“

“ I promise“

Satisfied with that answer he does as he is told and Harry places Grayson into his arms. The way Lachy is being so gentle and careful is beautiful to watch but what came next turned Louis into a blubbering mess.

Leaning down to kiss little Grayson’s forehead Lachlan at four years of age makes a lifelong pack with his little brother.

“ I will protect you“ The words alone had both Harry and Louis tearing up but they weren’t aware he hadn’t finished his sentence and when Lachlan linked his little pinky with Graysons and said “ Forever sun.“ Louis cried. He messily sobbed his eyes out.

“ What’s the matter, daddy?“

Not receiving an answer he looks to Harry who can see Louis is in no form to speak.

Lachy makes it very clear he is worried, thinking he has done something wrong.

“Papa, what did I do wrong? Why is daddy upset? I’m sorry papa I didn’t mean to-”

Harry picks up Grayson and puts him back into the little bed.

“ Nothing baby, you did nothing wrong. Daddy is happy, it’s happy tears sweet heart. Daddy is ok.“

Louis opens his arms wide inviting Lachlan to walk over and hug him.

“ Ouch!“

“ Sorry darling, I didn’t mean to squeeze so tight I just couldn’t help it, I love you so much.“ The words come out croaked between trying to wipe his nose and sniff at the same time.

It makes Lachlan smile but not for long because his little brother begins to cry. Turning around Lachlan joins their pinkies.

“ It’s ok sun, big brother is here.“

Harry presses his lips together not to laugh.

“ It’s Grayson darling, not Sun.“

Lachlan looks at Harry and deadpans.

“ That’s what I said Papa, Sun.“

With Harry now standing relatively close to him, Louis whispers so only Harry can hear.

“ Leave him be, it’s so incredibly sweet, that nickname is pure cuteness“ And when Harry bent down to kiss him, Louis knew he had won.

Trying to pull himself together Louis wipes his tear-stained face and pulls Lachlan in again for another hug.

“ So buddy tell me……what do you think of your brother and sister?“

Lachlan genuinely taps his chin as he thinks and it nearly makes Harry burst out laughing.

“ Ummmm….good I think but daddy, when can they play ball?“

The room erupts into laughter just as another flash goes off and both Harry and Louis look to Anne who they had forgotten was still standing in the corner of the room.

“ How many more of them do you need?“ Harry sasses as Anne lowers the camera back down into her handbag.

“ I haven’t even started yet hunni.“ Anne laughs back with arms outstretched. “Now can I meet my grandbabies please?”

---

6

WEEKS LATER

Both babies were fed and put to sleep only thirty minutes ago, so it’s a surprise when they hear a cry emit through the monitor. Louis was halfway through folding a mountain of clean clothes while Harry was kicked back across the couch with an old black and white film playing on the t.v in the background. Lachlan was stretched out on his stomach on the floor, happily engrossed in his new and improved Ipad that he received for his birthday a couple of weeks ago. A very tear filled birthday that Louis never imagined he would get with his son.

“ It’s sun crying daddy, I will go pat him back to sleep for you.“

It’s funny how even though Avah and Grayson sound the same when crying they have all learned to distinguish the difference in pitch.

“ No I will get him“ Harry says dominantly making Lachlan frown.

Louis gives Harry a look that he knows too well. A look that he fully understands he has now lost the argument. Ignoring his papa Lachlan faces Louis instead.

“ Pleasssse daddy“

And how could Louis possibly say no to those puppy dog eyes? Lachlan has been a hundred percent hands on, to the point that Louis had to reign it back in after Lachlan kept waking up in the middle of the night trying to feed them like he thought it was his responsibility. It’s been endearing that Lachlan feels so close to them so he nods his head ’ yes’.

“ Don’t pick him up though ok and remember-“

“ Yes I know BE CAREFUL“ Lachlan yells as he begins to scoot upstairs.

“ I will join you in a minute“ he yells back to Lachlan but there’s no doubt he is already too far gone to hear.

Pointing a finger at Harry he tries to justify his reason.

“ You are being too over protective. Relax a little.“

Harry stands up and positions himself behind Louis placing his hands down onto his shoulders to give a slight rub.

“ Ok boss man“ he giggles. “Can you still believe we have three children Lou, three sweet little angels.”

Louis drops the romper he was folding and raises his eyebrows at him amused by the statement.

“ Well funny enough they were far from being ‘angels’ at two am this morning, but I guess some people wouldn’t know that when they have the luxury of sleeping through it.“

Harry watches the way Louis’ lip curls so he recognizes the words are playful and not too serious.

“ So I might have slept through them screaming last night.“

Louis laughs.

“ Yeah, last night and the night before and the nights prior to that.“

It doesn’t feel funny to Harry anymore when he realizes that shit he hasn’t been helpful with the night time feeds.

“ I’m sorry baby I, I’m a deep sleeper you know that just….. shit, I dunno scream at me and hit me til I wake up“

“ Harry it’s fine really, I’m just getting really tired that’s all. It’s ok I was only teasing.

“ It’s not ok Lou, I’m serious, wake me up from now on.“

With his hands still resting upon his shoulders he lowers his head down to plant a chaste kiss on his temple but when he does he can’t help but want more. He hasn’t been this close to Louis in almost two months and when his natural smell consumes his nostrils he can’t contain the way his lips fall naturally to place a kiss just under his ear. He doesn’t feel bad that he has done it either, especially since Louis drops his head to the side allowing more access as Harry kisses twice more down his neck earning a moan from Louis.

“ God I’ve missed this“

Louis stands and turns around to connect their lips. It’s sweet but there’s a hint of desperation as their bodies crave each other after being deprived for so long. Between recovering from the c-section and screaming hungry babies and a very active young boy, there has been no time for anything sexual. Louis’ hand falls down below Harry’s navel hovering over Harry’s semi.

“ Haz I need a taste just a tas-“

Pulling back harshly pushing against Harry’s chest, his eyes open wide as he cussed loudly.

“ Fuck, I forgot about the kids!!! It’s too quiet.“

After all this time with Harry, it still amazes him how lost they get in each other when Harry’s close by and vice versa. It’s as though the world around them no longer exists and it’s just them in their own blissful concealed bubble.

Rushing over quickly to examine the video screen monitor, the initial fear subsides when he sees the most cutest thing ever.

Grabbing Harry’s hand he tugs him gently towards the staircase.

“ Come with me, you need to see this.“

The second they enter on through the nursery they notice it’s quiet. No more screaming from little Mr Grayson but it’s too quiet because there’s no sound emitting from Lachlan either. Upon further investigation, it appears Lachy was tired himself. He had crawled up into Grayson’s cot and cuddled him to stop him from crying and had fallen asleep in the process.

Harry rushes out of the room and is back within micro seconds

“ Where did you g-“

A flash goes off and Louis shakes his head.

“ You are just as bad as your mother.“ He teases.

“ What can I say? Taking tonnes of pictures runs in the family too.“ It makes Louis laugh as he watches the two boys snuggled in the cot.

When Grayson yawns and closes his eyes, Harry leans over lifting Lachlan out of the crib and carries him into his own room. Lowering him onto the bed he pulls up the blanket and softly gives him a kiss of endearment.

Louis stares at the dimples he has come to claim as his favorite feature, wrapping his arms around his waist for a warm embrace. With his head pressed into Harry’s chest, he whispers.

“ I love you, Harry.“

To which of course Harry replies smartly with an

“I’m hungry, let’s eat while they are all asleep.”

Feeling a whack to his stomach Harry smirks as he begins to guide Louis out of the room.

“ Sorry babe, I love you more! You already know that.“ He smiles proudly.

Just outside the bedroom door and just before they reach the stairs, Louis feels a light slap to his arse.

“ Although I’m not joking Lou, I could really go a pizza right now.“

There’s a smug sense of devious thoughts running rampant around Louis’ mind. Holding his hand tightly he leads Harry into their bedroom where he locks the door causing Harry to lift an eyebrow curiously.

Walking closer he pushes Harry backwards onto the bed as he begins to undo Harry’s zipper.

“ And now I’m hungry Haz “

Louis is sure he hears Harry mumble something obscene under his breath but it was too quiet to catch. When he takes him into his mouth whole, he almost chokes on his dick because he does hear Harry this time around when he mumbles……

“ Pizza’s overrated anyway.“

---

A/N

AWW CUTE AND FLUFFY ENOUGH?

WELCOME TO THE WORLD AVAH AND GRAYSON 💚❤️💙💛🧡💜

Only two chapters left !!!!

Please keep an eye out for time jumps next chapter.

I’m

sad

it’s

ending soon but also excited. Sorry this chapter is short. I just

wanted

to focus on delivery as the next two chapters are packed with info.

Chapter 22- Happy Family?

TWINS 18 MONTHS OLD

‘There is no miraculous way to freeze time and prevent your children from growing. You must love and enjoy them each and every day because, unlike today, tomorrow they will be that little bit older.’

Louis is now certain that time is moving way too fast. It only felt like yesterday that his youngest children were born and now in the blink of an eye they are already eighteen months old. It’s been a long time coming but today their house is extra full. For the last six months, Louis and Anne have been planning a get-together to formally welcome the new babies into the family. Unknown to Louis but Anne had done this for Lachlan and she wished to continue the tradition.

Melissa, Kevin, Liam, Zayn, Gemma, and Niall are just some of the many guests who are currently roaming Harry and Louis’ backyard for the newly named ’ Twinsey Ceremony’. There was a small surprise in store for Melissa and Kevin who were gracefully asked by the loved-up pair to be godparents to Grayson and Avah. Melissa was beside herself as she accepted, not caring that she was soaking Harry’s shirt with tears. Kevin was in shock but was more than proud of his best friend who he still catches up with on a regular basis. Louis almost second guesses the decision when Kevin pretends to hand Grayson a beer for laughing at his ‘dad joke’.

“ Hey butterfly, no no no don’t put that in your mouth, that’s yucky“

Lachlan grabs the clump of dirt out of her hand and prevents Avah from putting it in her mouth. The nickname has definitely stuck and Lachlan never calls her by her real name. As much as Harry had despised it at first he quickly grew fond of it and luckily Avah had realized even at a small age that it’s only a ’ Lachlan nickname’ and not her real one. Lachlan is so delicate with Avah and is overly protective. Harry has often joked around with Louis about how he doesn’t need to worry about Avah when she becomes a teenager because Lachlan won’t let any boy or girl near her until she’s at least 30. He loves to sing her off to sleep and the bond they already have is truly aspiring.

Grayson is the shy one out of the twins. He doesn’t babble and ‘talk’ as much as Avah and Lachlan already has Grayson learning football. There are often times that the ball is rolled back and forth between the pair while Grayson is roaming the backyard and only just a few days ago Grayson kicked the ball on point making Lachlan the proudest coach ever. He reads a lot of books to Grayson throughout the weekends and never misses his bedtime stories, Grayson always listens intently to the big brother who excitedly tells him tales of adventures.

Grayson has Louis’ blue eyes and his eyelashes but the biggest trait he has received from his daddy to this day is kindness . Whenever he gets serves his dinner plate, he will always without failure pick up a random piece of food and offer it to you. Harry keeps telling everyone that even though Grayson has his hair and lips and resembles Harry’s appearance, he replicates Louis’ kind-hearted persona.

“ Who are you so focused on? If looks could kill Louis bloody hell, you look like you are ready to pounce and not in a good way.“

Liam knocks his knee to make him scoot over so he too can sit down on the white wooden bench. Following his line of sight, it becomes very clear who he is staring at.

“ Who’s that?“ Louis asks knowing Liam knows absolutely everyone.

“ Ahhh that’s Nick. He works with Harry at the bank, he only started there a few months ago.“

Harry has never mentioned him before but that doesn’t surprise him because they don’t really discuss work matters. Both men shuffle down a little further as Niall appears out of nowhere holding Avah in his arms.

“ This little nugget was trying to eat insects again. Who are we all looking at?“

After a few seconds of them all gawking and taking in the intriguing interaction, Louis lowers his head to the ground before facing Liam.

“ He is flirting isn’t he?“

Liam looks back at Harry and Nick who are indeed standing a little too close for comfort. There’s a lot of whispering going on, as well as too many smiles and Louis hates every second of it.

“ No absolutely not.“ Liam says firmly.

Unfortunately, Niall never knows when it’s a good time to shut up.

“ Oh heck yeah they are! Look at the way Nick’s hand is resting on his lower back like that and I know Harry too well, he is loving the attention.“

Liam subtly flicks Niall’s ear.

“ Ow. What’d you do that for?“

The glare from Liam is enough for Niall to finally get the message.

“ I mean, it’s probably all innocent. I’m sure it’s harmless Louis.“

The thing is, Louis doesn’t believe or find any of that helpful. Not when he and Harry haven’t had intercourse or any sexual activity in over a year. It’s not like Louis hasn’t wanted to but he literally hasn’t found the time to. With Harry working flat out and Louis balancing the three children they are often too caught up in daily routines or sleeping to even get close enough to one another. Taking another look back and seeing Nick whisper into his ear, Louis grabs Avah out of Niall’s arms when she starts to whine and rub at her eyes.

“ Don’t worry Louis, Harry loves you, you know he wouldnt do anything to hurt you.“

Liam hopes his words are enough to reassure him but by some weird coincidence, they all glance back to where Harry and Nick once stood.

They were gone.

His attention is drawn back to a screaming Avah who is well and truly past her nap time. He scans around the yard until he spots Anne who has Grayson in her lap feeding him a cupcake. He signals to her that he’s taking Avah to bed and Anne gives a thumbs up knowing he was implying if it was ok to keep watching her grandson. Avah kicks and screams the entire way upstairs where he soon places her into her small toddler bed. He tries patting her back and singing, he even goes as far as laying down next to her in the hopes she would drift off. After a full ten minutes of tears, the little girl nods off into dreamland. It’s then that Louis finds himself staring down at the head full of curls and begins to let his own cry out. Not wanting to wake her, he ventures off into his own room where his mind starts to wonder whether this is it, his fairy tale of a romance was done and dusted in such a short time. He can’t help but think as to why Harry has been quick to kill their forever. Or maybe it was just him, paranoid all over again. Either way, the horrible thoughts, and feelings only intensified when he looked out the bedroom window seeing Harry and Nick get out of the car both sporting a massive grin.

Louis is angry. He does everything in his power to make himself busy even with the headache he has gained from the crying he had done. When the guests had left hours later, Louis who had hidden upstairs for the remainder of the ‘party’ eventually came downstairs to clean up the mess. Harry was currently smiling as he looked up from the table where he was collecting glasses to put in the dishwasher and Louis couldn’t care less as to why. It’s not like he had bothered to try and find him all afternoon.

“ Are the kids asleep?“

Louis is in that kind of mood where if he opens his mouth to answer, there’s a high chance of world war three breaking out, so he brushes past Harry who frowns at the bluntness. The fact that Louis slammed the roller door shut as he popped the outside light on and ventured outside with a garbage bag, was enough of a telltale sign that he was mad but Harry had no clue as to why. For him, the afternoon had been a success. He mingled with friends and family he hadn’t seen in a while with laughs all around and to top it all off, the food was absolutely amazing.

He can hear beer bottles smashing together as Louis drops them into the bag and it’s starting to get on his nerves. He wants to go and address whatever the issue is but he also understands he needs a little space to cool off. The dishwasher is full and currently mid cycle but there are still so many cups and plates left over so Harry puts his hands to work and fills the sink. Twenty minutes later and Louis has re-entered the house still looking pissed. He can’t go to bed like this so he drops the tea towel ready to approach him. But the timing couldn’t be worse because there’s a loud cry coming from Grayson upstairs.

Letting go of the bag of bottles and rubbish he spins in a huff to attend to his child. Harry watches him as he reclines further and further away and is disappointed at the turn of events this evening. He had a special night planned for them when everyone had left and now it seems it will have to wait.

It’s been so long since Louis went upstairs and the house is now sparkling clean. The only thing left to complete is the dirty pile of clothes on the laundry floor but that can wait until tomorrow. It’s 11 pm and his eyes are getting droopy, there’s no denying its bedtime. When he enters the bedroom he expects to see Louis either asleep or in bed reading like he sometimes does but in fact, he isn’t in there at all.

He checks on Lachlan who is fast asleep and isn’t too surprised to see Louis in the twin’s room. What he is shocked about is that Louis is sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of the room with Grayson asleep on his chest, with Louis snoring lightly too. He slowly and gently grabs Grayson putting him back into bed just as Avah stirs awake. So he makes a rash decision and collects a blanket from behind him and places it over Louis before he manages to wake up. He picks up both children into his arms and takes them back into his room where he lays them down on his bed. They both doze straight back off under Harry’s warmth ness and if sleeping apart means Louis gets a tiny break then so be it, even if Harry does have a hard time sleeping because, for the first night in almost two years, Louis isn’t asleep beside him.

He panics a little when he opens his eyes and sees the children are no longer in his bed. Quickly taking a pee first, he gathers up a clean t-shirt and throws his hair up into a messy bun. Entering the hallway he doesn’t need to go and search for them anymore because he can hear laughter coming from downstairs.

He didn’t purposefully intend on sneaking down he just so happened to be stepping quietly. He can hear them all before he sees them and Louis’ laughter mixed with Lachlan’s and the twin’s is music to his ears and when he finally lays eyes on them the sight before him sends a gush of admiration and cuteness through his veins.

The twins are seated at the table, their mouths coated with syrup and cream as they pick away at the strawberries on their plastic plates. Lachlan is beside Louis his face and hands full of flour as Louis tries to teach him how to make pancakes from scratch.

“ Daddy look.“

Louis is met with a cloud of flour that Lachlan has blown off his hands into Louis’ face. Dropping the spatula Louis begins to chase the boy around the kitchen island drawing giggles from both Avah and Grayson.

“ You little shit! Right, come here I’m going to dip your head in the toilet“

The way Lachlan runs and laughs is a sight to see. Seeing the two so happy is all that matters these days, it’s times like these that Harry wants to cherish and embed into his brain.

“ Good morning.“

Lachlan stops mid-circle and races over to his papa.

“ Look at daddy papa, doesn’t he look so funny? He looks like a ghost.“

Harry makes an attempt to engage in the conversation hoping Louis has had a good sleep and is in a better mood.

“ He does look rather pale and so do you munchkin.“

He kisses the twin’s head and looks at Louis who still has yet to make any eye contact. He dares to move closer but only for Louis to dodge him and venture off out of the kitchen. It seems Louis is still pissed off.

“ Lachy baby, you wanna run upstairs and get ready for Football please.“

Doing as he is told, he picks up one last bite of his pancake and skips upstairs. He prods around the kitchen cleaning up the mess and the twins to whom he then places in front of the tv. Entering the laundry, he approaches Louis with caution who continues to take clothes out of the washing machine.

“ Lou, please tell me what’s wrong.“

For a split second, Harry believes he is going to be ignored yet once again but instead he is confronted face to face with a snarky attitude.

“ Where did you go yesterday Harry? Got bored of me again and pulled another Kendall? Was he a great fuck Harry? “

Harry frowns and Louis feels the need to further explode. After all the time they spent in therapy, you would have safely assumed Louis would have learned a lesson by now to contain the jealousy that ferociously burns inside of him, but it’s something he doesn’t seem to have no control over.

“ NICK, ring a bell?“

Harry is shocked beyond words and stands there in total disarray. He can not for the life of him believe what he has just heard. There are so many things going through his head and boy he wishes to lash out but he doesn’t say a single word. Harry kind of feels like he is in an olden-day cowboy movie and is currently having a stare off. Louis was expecting Harry to bite back, admit or deny it but he continues to just stare utterly dumbfounded.

Sometimes our eyes shout out things that our lips often fear to say. Because our eyes are always honest they always tell the truth, even if our lips are trying to sell a lie and Louis can see that Harry is upset. Something is telling him to ’ shut up’ and ‘apologize’ he feels awful all of a sudden as Harry appears to be fighting back tears and when Harry just turns around and leaves, Louis regrets shouting stupid shit that he now tremendously regrets.

He pulls out a load of clothes from the dryer and places the basket on the kitchen table where he begins to fold them. Harry has only been gone no longer than a minute when he resurfaces in front of him. Harry opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out and Louis can see the hurt and pain radiating through his soft stare. Reaching into his pocket he places a small box down on the table and opens it.

“ He had been helping me with that. I needed a loan and yesterday he brought it over and left it in the car. It was supposed to be a surprise for you last night but it seems you don’t trust me enough to marry you……thanks, Lou.“

It’s said so calmy with so much sadness and Louis hates himself. He is so tired and cranky lately that he has just ruined what should have been the happiest moment of his life.

“ Harry I’m so sor-“

Lachlan has the most uncanny timing as he bolts into the kitchen.

“ I’m all ready papa.“

Harry faces a smiley Lachlan and bends down to his level.

“ Have a great game today sweety alright, papa is going to stay home with your brother and sister. See you when you get back ok.“

Lachlan nods his head and Harry doesn’t wait for a reply instead turning around and returning to the lounge room with the young kids.

It was at this moment that Louis had realized he had just fucked up on so many levels.

---

Louis doesn’t know what to do when he enters their bedroom later that evening. Harry had avoided Louis since they got home earlier today and it’s been terribly awkward. The blinds are shut, his bedside lamp has been turned on, the ceiling fan is on and Harry is already under the covers facing away from him. He quietly walks around his side of the bed discarding his shirt and pants dropping them softly to the ground. He sits there for a short moment debating whether he should jump in the shower. Standing up, he hopes that by spending fifteen minutes in the bathroom it will guarantee that Harry will be ‘out cold’ asleep by the time he gets back because he feels like a complete and utter asshole. He overreacted about Nick and he knows it.

He hasn’t been feeling himself lately and if he was to be brutally honest he hasn’t felt a hundred percent right since having the twins. He had no idea Harry was contemplating marriage so soon and he wants to slap himself for ruining the surprise. He knows he isn’t asleep yet properly, he can tell by the way he is laying.

It feels weird with Harry facing the outside of the bed. They normally face each other first for a brief kiss and cuddle before rolling over.

“ It’s Lachy’s check up tomorrow. “

“ I know“ Louis answers but the air is terribly thick and it’s uncomfortable.

Climbing into bed, Louis rolls over wanting to hug him from behind but he stops himself.

“ H? “

There’s no response and he feels like a real cunt. There’s no movement from that side of the bed at all, so he surrenders and pulls up the blanket laying into his normal position. He whispers softly and gathers enough courage to lean forward placing a small tender kiss to the back of Harry’s exposed shoulder.

“ I’m so sorry.“

It’s quietly spoken and it feels weird since there hasn’t been this type of tension in so long.

Louis feels grateful when the bed begins to move as Harry shuffles and turns over to face him.

“ Why would you say that earlier? I’m the happiest I’ve ever been Lou, our children are contented and safe, and you are here right beside me, why would you assume I’d cheat? That’s freaking crazy. “

“ I know, I’m so sorry, there’s no excuse for it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just watched how happy you seemed with Nick and we haven’t well… you know, in so long and …..and I just-“

He tries to disguise his tears by wiping them away silently but when Harry extends his arm out to pull his head into his chest he knows it’s too late.

“ I’m just so burnt out babe, I dunno what’s going on in my head, I’m exhausted.“

Harry gently rubs a hand up and down Louis’ back, frowning as he becomes a little concerned at what he is now fully aware of.

“ I know I’ve slacked off darling, I will help out more I promise, I’m so sorry and just for the record, Nick is no -one you need to be concerned about ok. A friend only, a very helpful friend who helped me get the loan for the ring. He picked it up and delivered it here today.“

Louis hates that Harry said that because honestly, it’s not his fault about any of it. Harry has been so busy at work providing for them all and when he does come home, he spends whatever time he can with the kids and this whole ring thing has whacked him in the face from out of nowhere.

“ No babe, you have been great. I can’t believe I’ve ruined the ring surprise I’m such an idiot, I’m sorry. Look it’s just me I, I just get really down sometimes that’s all and I snap really easily. I think I might start up some sessions with Jamie again.“

They stopped seeing their therapist only three months ago but Louis feels that something isn’t right within himself and he needs that outlet of having someone to talk to with no judgment or bias.

“ If you need to Lou, then I think it’s a great idea. C’mere“

Harry squeezes him gently as Louis begins to relax.

“ I’m so tired Haz, between the housework, the twins and constantly worrying about Lachy, I’m so tired.“

“ Sshh my love, I’m going to make this all better I promise. Close your eyes and rest sweetheart.“

---

“ So Master Lachy, now we have done all the usual checkups, how do you feel lately? Any aches or pains? Anything that feels weird or hurts you? Any itchiness or anything else that we spoke about before.“

The specialist Doctor who was assigned to him was brilliant with children. The first few appointments were a tad frightening for the little lad in the beginning and Doctor Golbach was full of smiles and comforting words, always making Lachlan feel safe and comfortable.

Looking over at his parents he sees the hope that Louis is clinging onto. He can also see the black circles under his daddy’s eyes and he is suddenly brought back to what he had heard Louis say last night.

Genuine empathy and respect require that we must fully listen to understand and feel what is happening around us and to others so that we can come to any type of reasonable solutions to any problems but what happens when that person is only five and a half years old, where listening, is just an innocent ’ will to learn and help’?

You see, Lachlan still sometimes tries sneaking into his parent’s bed late at night and when he quietly went to open up their bedroom door, his little ears were succumbed to Louis’ tears and sadness about him being so exhausted and worn out. Hearing how tired his daddy was made him upset and from that moment on as he walked back to his own bed in silence, he decided from then on, he doesn’t want to be one of the reasons as to why his daddy cries sometimes.

The little boy is so confused. He has always been taught to tell the truth and be honest. The idea of lying to the doctor doesn’t feel right but lying to his parents feels even worse.

Thinking over how many times his belly has been sore and extremely full after eating, which makes him feel nauseous, he tries not to let his nervousness show. It hasn’t just been the nausea, the thumping headaches he gets daily haven’t been told to any parent yet either, and when he gets into bed at night, he waits until he is alone before he vigorously scratches at his skin, which counteracts with the tingling he often feels in his fingers.

The problem with Lachlan is that Harry and Louis had done such a great job at parenting that they have also taught him to be big, brave, and strong. He loves his parents so much and he is well aware that if he tells the truth, his already tired daddy will worry more, which will add more strain and stress to his already exhausted dad.

Louis and Harry are staring at him waiting for his response. Lachlan smiles sadly and if only Louis hadn’t looked away at that moment to check on a fidgety Grayson, he would have been able to distinguish the panic and subtle ‘help me’ in Lachlan’s eyes as he bravely made his decision. Looking at the doctor he smiles widely showing his pearly whites.

“ I feel really good. Wayyyy better.“

Time will inevitably uncover dishonesty and lies. Parents can only give good advice and guide their children down the right paths. The final forming of one’s own character lies solely…….. in their very own hands.

Lachlan continues to lie from this moment onwards. If only he knew the dangerous and devastating repercussions his actions will cause later on down the track.

---

~ ~~

TIME JUMP ~~~

5 years later.

LACHLAN

10

TWINS

6

’ Behind every young child who believes in themselves is a parent who believed in them first.’

Louis is currently soaking up some rays as the clouds drift momentarily past the sun as he thinks about last night. Watching Lachlan claim his very first football trophy at their season wrap-up celebration was a magical and heart warming experience for Louis. He always knew Lachlan had the talent and he knows deep within he will continue to only rise higher if he continues with the same amount of stamina and determination in order to succeed.

Harry has noticed out the kitchen window that Louis is relaxing in the swinging egg chair with a slight crease on his forehead. He can read him like a book now and he knows there’s something up as he stares off into space. The children are all currently in school and for the last 5 years, life couldn’t have been better in the styles household.

“ Something on your mind darling?“

“ Huh?“

“ Are you ok?“ Harry asks again as Louis slides his wedding band around constantly on his finger.

They had finally gotten married not long after the twins had turned two. As much as Harry begged for an overly priced grand venue and extravagant reception to pamper his beloved, Louis insisted on a small private ceremony on the beach with just close family and friends.

“ Do you remember my vows and speech to you?“

Harry smiles as he squirms and makes his way into the egg chair. It’s a very tight squeeze but neither mind as they cuddle closely to reminisce.

“ I do, Lou. You made me cry in front of everyone you asshole.“

Louis laughs at the memory as Harry starts reciting the moment like it was only yesterday.

“ The moment you touched me my heart shattered , not from

breaking

but more so relief, because for the first time, I felt I had found someone who could collect and pick up all the used and broken pieces of myself and make them whole once more. You constantly shower me with pure joy each and every day. Harry, you’re my delicate rose to whom I can not function properly without. You are my life jacket when I feel like

I’m

drowning in everyday life. You’re the most valuable and greatest gift I have ever

received

. I promise to love

you

not until my last breath because even after I perish, you will continue to always have my heart. I love you.“

Louis’ jaw hits the floor because how the fuck?

“ You actually remember all that? Far out H!“

Harry kisses his cheek smugly until it hits him.

“ Wait…. Do you not remember mine?“ He says pretending to be offended. Louis thinks about whether he should tease him a little but decides against it when he starts to look genuinely worried.

“ Of course I do. “

Harry continues to stare at him, his face blank and eyebrows slightly raised as though he was waiting for something, which prompts Louis to laugh.

“ Why are you staring at me like that?“

Harry smirks and bops his nose.

“ Well let’s hear it then.“

Shit.

Louis can safely declare that he remembers at least seventy percent of it. The fact that Niall had slipped him a few tequilas before the ceremony to calm his nerves didn’t help with his memory “storage”. Pressing his lips together tightly trying not to laugh Harry slaps at his chest.

“ Oh my god! You can’t remember can you !“

Louis playfully kisses all over his face, his forehead, his cheeks, and his nose, finally settling on his lips. Resting his forehead on Harry’s he proudly makes Harry smile.

“ I would say you have the key to my heart but that wouldn’t be true. You don’t have a key, you have a whole set. You have the key to calm me down when I’m anxious, You have the key to making me smile when I’m down, and you can unlock every aspect of myself that is worthy, which makes me eternally grateful and in debt to you. You came into my life unexpectedly like a whirlwind, a tornado of ups and downs, and yet here we stand hand in hand next to our beautiful children. You not only have the key to my heart Louis, but you also have the key to my soul. I promise to love and cherish and protect you and these children until the end of time. Baby, you are the love of my life.“

Harry being the smartass he is, jumps out of the chair and gives Louis a round of applause.

“ Wow, Lou I must say you remembered more than I thought you would. You missed a whole paragraph but I’ll let it pass.“

The way Harry laughs makes Louis stand and connect their fingers. There’s something behind their touch that turns the conversation into a more serious matter.

“ I’m ready to tell Lachlan.“

The atmosphere immediately changes and Harry’s eyes shoot open wide at the sudden news.

“ Are you sure? Like, you really sure?“

“ I am. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and it just feels right, you know. I don’t want no more secrets between anyone and that includes mine. However, if you don’t want me to I won’t. I told you once that-“

Harry pulls him in close engulfing him into a cuddle.

“ If that’s what you want darling I will support you no matter what. When do you want to tell him?“

With every new day comes new strength. Sometimes, it may feel as though fate is whispering to you. Whether you are surrounded by signs, coincidences, or synchronicities, they can all guide and propel you towards your destiny. It’s like the universe tries to speak to us in little messages or serendipities quietly trying to remind us to stop, look or listen. So when Anne opens up the back door and announces she has returned the children that she picked up from school, Louis sees it as a sign.

“ Well, no time like the present. “

Harry smiles because he too feels it is time, it should be finally out in the open. He doesn’t have any inkling that this may go south because Lachlan loves Louis, he always has.

“ I will go see mum off and send Lachy out. You sure you are ready?“

Shrugging his shoulders a little he does feel the butterflies slowly creep into his stomach.

“ As much as I ever will be.“

Time moves dramatically slowly when you are waiting for something. It feels like forever since Harry walked inside the house and with every second that continues to pass he begins to hear his heartbeat thud louder. The noise of the sliding door draws his attention. Lachlan has the ball at his feet passing it back and forth between each foot as he walks towards Louis.

“ Papa said you wanted me, do you want to play ball? Or am I in trouble? I haven’t done anything wrong but if this is about me not handing in my homework yesterday, I already told papa I sincerely forgot.“

Placing his foot out waiting for the ball, makes Lachlan kick it to him.

“ It’s not about the homework but I’m hoping you handed it in today instead?“

“ I did.“

They pass the ball back and forth for less than a minute before Louis sits down and pats the grass beside him. He needs to get this done asap before he loses all courage. He knows that since he has the courage to begin, he has the courage to follow through. Or does he? With a trembling voice, he begins the conversation he has dreaded but waited for, for so long.

“ Lachy I need to tell you something and I need your full attention please.“

Courage is the most important of all virtues. Why? Because courage doesn’t stop you from being afraid of anything. On the contrary, it’s quite the opposite. You can be shaking all over with nerves but having courage, allows you to not let that fear overcome you and pushes you to succeed in the outcome. Taking a deep breath he takes hold of Lachlan’s hands. Lachlan can sense something is coming as his top set of teeth press firmly into his bottom lip as Louis continues on.

“ I am your dad.“

Lachlan smiles.

“ Yes, I know.“

Louis internally curses at himself at how stupid that just sounded because of course Lachlan didn’t understand what he had really meant. Harry had told Lachlan from such a young age about him being adopted. He had also made sure to tell Lachlan that his biological parent loved him very much. So why is Louis suddenly beginning to panic?

“ You know how you were adopted and that the person who carried you inside their tummy loved you so much, that they gave you to papa, so papa could look after you properly because the other man couldn’t?“

“ Yeah.“

He can feel sweat everywhere. It’s pooling around the back of his neck, in his palms, and across his forehead. It’s utterly nerve-racking…….. but here it goes.

“ That man was me. You came from me Lachlan, I am your biological dad.“

For Louis, the weight has finally been lifted. The secret he felt compelled to for so many years has now escaped his lips shockingly landing in Lachlan’s ears.

There’s no time wasted as Lachlan stands abruptly to face Louis as he begins to take a few small steps back.

’“WHAT?”

It’s understandable that Lachlan is shocked but Louis wasn’t expecting the silence. He was hoping Lachlan would just jump into his arms and be fully accepting and happy about it.

“ I wanted to tell you I really did baby and - “

“ I HATE YOU !!“

Louis can feel the restriction in his throat as his breathing becomes difficult at the words he never imagined would come from Lachlan’s mouth, ever. He can hear the sobs from his son who is racing towards the house and when he hears the loud bang of the back door, he too runs after him.

He is stopped at the door by Harry’s arm. Witnessing Lachlan’s fury as he tore through the house brought tears to Harry’s eyes as well.

“ What have I done, shit, what have I done Harry?“ His tears fall down his cheeks as he cries, leaning into Harry’s chest.

“ Just give him some space Lou, let him process it all. I will go and check on him in a minute. Just breathe darling just breathe.“

But Louis can’t breathe, he can’t see, he can’t move but he can hear.

’ I hate

you

, I hate you, I hate you’

The words are on replay in his mind as he storms out the front door. He needs to escape, he desperately needs fresh air, far away from the house.

“ Papa? Why’s daddy crying and Moony is sad.“

Grayson entered the kitchen looking up at a distressed Harry who was currently frozen in place not having a clue as to what to do.

“ Daddy will be ok sweet, he will be back soon alright, and stay out of Lachlan’s room for a while until he cools down ok.“

When Grayson was four, he had discovered what a nickname was after he questioned Harry as to why everyone called him “ Grayson“ but Lachlan called him “sun”. Liking that scheme of things, he too decided to give Lachlan another name and since he himself already had ’ sun’ he decided to call Lachlan ‘moon’. After the first week, it turned from moon to moony and it’s stuck ever since.

Setting the twins up in their playroom Harry braces himself and knocks on Lachlan’s door. There’s no response so Harry opens with caution, still not sure on how to approach this. He can’t see Lachy at first until he walks further into the room. He is sitting on the floor with his back against the bed, his knees pulled to his chest. His face is flushed from crying and he isn’t looking at Harry either who slides down next to him.

“ Did you know?“

Letting out a sigh, Harry stares at the wall in front of him.

“ Yes. I didn’t at first but I’ve known for some time now.“

Harry is awaiting the same outburst he gave Louis and yet the room remained deadly silent.

“ I know this is something you didn’t expect but he has his reasons sweetheart and when you have calmed down, I think you need to let him explain and -“

“ I AM NOT TALKING TO HIM, NOT NOW, NOT EVER!“

Harry is surprised that Lachlan is acting so hasty. He can understand the hurt and betrayal because he as well had been through it when he had found out but he kinda thought Lachlan would be happy deep down that it was Louis, the man he had learned to love and trust so quickly.

“ You should have told me, papa, at least you had the balls to look after me.“

“ Watch your mouth and tone mister. There is a lot more to the story that you do not have any knowledge about. I get that you are upset and angry but this is Louis, Louis Lachlan. He loves you beyond any measure you know that, so before shutting him out, I think you ought to think about just how much Louis has done for you, and been there for you. Don’t be so quick to judge and point out errors Lachy.“

Harry doesn’t want to push things any further until Lachlan has a chance to reflect. It pains Harry who has been put into a difficult situation. It’s killing him seeing his son so disappointed and distraught. He can understand why he is acting the way he is but in the same regard, he knows all the facts and the story behind why Louis had done what he did.

---

A week, a whole freaking week has flown by where Lachlan and Louis have still yet to speak. It’s been hard for Harry to maneuver around the pair while attending to the twins. Louis has been hit hard with depression finding it difficult to even get out of bed as he finds himself crying several times a day. He wishes he had never said anything.

“ It’s Saturday Lou, you want to shower before Lachlan’s game?“

Louis is fully aware he smells, he hasn’t stepped inside the shower all week. His broken heart isn’t allowing him to do much at all. Even though Lachlan’s season has finished, the team are playing a fund-raiser game to entice new players. Harry is pleased when Louis sits up.

“ Haven’t missed a game yet and I’m not about to start now.“

It makes Harry smile as he watches him throw back the blanket and walk towards him.

“ I’m sorry H, I’ve been so miserable and it’s put a lot of pressure on you with the kids and -“

Harry doesn’t want to hear an apology because it isn’t necessary. Louis needed a break and even though it came in the form it had, it was still appreciated. Looking after the kids alone was challenging he will admit that but he was also glad to bond a bit more with their children.

As they all gather at the front door awaiting for Lachlan to come down the stairs, Louis hears his voice and feels a stab right through his heart.

“ If he is coming, I’m staying home.“

“ Lachlan“ Harry scorns the boy shaking his head in disgust.

Louis looks at Lachlan who refuses to make eye contact.

“ It’s ok, I will stay. Leave the twins.“

He doesn’t give time for Harry to object as he turns around and walks straight into the kitchen. Hearing the front door close he realizes Harry has taken the twins anyway. He has NEVER missed a game, not a single one and it’s clawing away at his chest. Unknown to Louis at that moment, missing Lachlan’s games was about to become a regular habit.

Sometimes when we have nothing to lose, we find ourselves diving back into those deep dark hidden places. Louis is surrounded by a familiar scenario to that of which he felt many many years ago as he walks sternly towards the liquor cabinet.

---

3 weeks 6 days 9 hours but who is counting? Louis, that’s who.

It’s been so long without mending the bridge and Louis is at breaking point. Harry has had enough to having spoken to Lachlan several times telling him enough was enough but nothing gives. With everyone still tremendously hurt the impact it was having on the family dynamics was enough to make Harry finally snap.

Louis is outside rugged up in a blanket as he swings on the egg chair. The wind is softly blowing a gentle cool breeze as it hits 4 pm.

“ Hey, Papa.“

Harry turns from the window to watch Lachlan open up the fridge. He didn’t think it through properly and it was totally an’ in the moment’ kind of decision. He storms over and grabs Lachlan by the arm and pulls him over to the sink where they both look out over the yard. It’s the first time Lachlan has seen Louis properly in three weeks and Harry notices the way his eyes fill quickly with tears. He can tell Lachlan is missing him just as much but doesn’t want to admit it. Louis has tried consistently to talk to him by knocking on his door but all he has heard every time is ’ Go away ’. Louis wasn’t going to force him so he kept the distance, fully believing that space was what he needed, so space is what he gave him.

“ Baby I can see you are hurting just as much as he is, but I can reassure you, that the amount of anger and grief you are pushing his way is nothing in comparison to how much he is blaming and putting on himself. Talk to him, please. He misses you so much and I know you Lachy, I can see it, you miss him as well. I beg you just give him a chance to explain. If you get overwhelmed then walk away but at least try munchkin, for me. I’m sure I raised you better than this.“

Lachlan stares out the window wiping his eyes before turning back around and retreating towards the lounge room. Harry sighs and opens up the cupboard reaching for a saucepan to start preparing dinner. He hears the back door and glances up to see Lachlan now in possession of his football as he walks over to Louis. He feels terrible for ‘spying’ but he can’t help it. All he wants is for the two of them to patch things up so they can all get back to normal.

Louis’ eyes are closed as he sniffles his running nose that had developed from so much crying. He had just assumed it was Harry approaching him.

“ Like I told you at lunch time H, I’m not hungry.“

“ A football wouldn’t taste very nice.“

Louis startles and jumps to sit up at hearing the voice he has dreamt of hearing for weeks.

“ Hi.“

Fumbling around with the ball at his feet, his eyes meet Louis’ for the first time in weeks. The silence speaks louder than anything else as Louis stands. They both walk onto the grass where Lachlan begins to move towards the goals before Louis even had a minute to block him. Lachlan smirks and Louis couldn’t be happier. Over the course of the next fifteen minutes Louis and Lachlan kick the ball back and forth and Harry who now has tears flowing, places a hand over his heart at the interaction. Louis trips making Lachlan laugh which suddenly makes Louis want to cry. Happy isn’t a strong enough word to describe how he feels right now. Louis chases Lachlan, determined to not let him score but when Louis fails to block him and Lachlan runs towards him laughing, Louis forgets the past few weeks and engulfs Lachlan into a hug.

It felt like time had stopped as neither of them moved. Too scared to say or do anything to interrupt the moment. Louis leaned back holding his bi-ceps and looking into his eyes before pulling him back in even tighter.

“ I’m so sorry sweetheart. You have no idea how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you, please baby believe me. I love you so much.“

He hears Lachlan speak but because of the way, his head was pressed into the side of Lachlan’s head as they hugged he couldn’t quite make out what was said.

“ Pardon? I didn’t hear you properly love.“

“ You didn’t want me !“

It wasn’t screamed but it was loud enough for Harry to hear inside. Louis tenses and tries to reach out to him once more but he flinches back.

“ YOU DIDN’T WANT ME!“

He yells, but this time he begins to punch into Louis’ chest, who sits there calmly and takes it because if he needs that release, then so be it.

“ YOU HAD ME AND WALKED AWAY, YOU LEFT ME! HOW COULD YOU? What did I do wrong? “ He screams, sobbing out the last part.

Louis is quick to try and reassure him that he has it all wrong but he has to try and be careful with his words.

“ No baby no no no, you did nothing wrong. You were so small and beautiful and there’s nothing more on this planet that I wanted more than to hold you in my arms and - “

“ YOU DIDN’T LOVE ME !!!!“

“ Lachlan listen to me, please. I loved you then, I love you now and I always will and nothing will ever change that. “

Locking eyes, Lachlan stares as tears fall freely. He swallows deeply and says the last words he will speak to Louis for years.

“ Well, you didn’t love me enough to keep me, did you………..dad.“

And with that, Lachlan retreated back inside leaving a broken Louis shattered into a lifelong mess.

The most painful tears that we will ever encounter in life are not those of ones that fall from our eyes covering our cheeks, instead, it comes from those which fall from your heart covering your entire soul.

And just like thirty minutes prior, Louis and Lachlan’s hearts are still miserably broken in two.

---

A/N

Thoughts??

Probably not how you imagined the chapter to go right?

I’m

sorry. 🥺

The next chapter

is

it guys.

The final chapter !! 🎉✨️

I’m

nervous as hell.

Chapter 23 - Final Chapter 💔

A/N

Yeah um,

I’m

just going to go MIA and hide. 🙈

I’m

just going to say sorry now.

❤️

12 YEARS LATER ~~~ 

Lachlan 22
 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/1ff772d7aeb9b4fe4946fe6bae272f33bb0b7082/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f774f3746414555614c76673577513d3d2d313330363236303032332e313733653536643530316661666332663432383839363936303236342e6a7067)

Twins 18 

![](https://img.wattpad.com/4f62ebb35023f47c23822adf27c037e794a6c11e/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f76377276345165307550385779413d3d2d313330363236303032332e313733653631323232316332613238643531303235373431313533392e6a7067)

![](https://img.wattpad.com/1ee1d1fa75c2a91d86f720c64d71a7aa80de16c2/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f4c4b6e5643714d66664a415766413d3d2d313330363236303032332e313733653536653234376466356335393135303938323138373932352e6a7067)

***************

' Sometimes the real heroes are not those we see in the 

movies

 but rather that of a parent behind the scene, loving a child from afar that is 

fighting

 big battles. Your children will look up to you whether you believe that or not. Your child will learn your habits and attributes, so be the type of person you want them to be.'

The relationship between a parent and child is a beautiful feeling. There's love, trust, respect, protection, and a loving sense of happiness that fulfills the home but sometimes, there is fighting and arguments, and worse of all, there can be silence.

When a relationship of any sort breaks down, it can destroy the way you present yourself in any further communication. For months Louis had tried and tried to regain Lachlan's connection. It's hard to try and mend something when the other party is not willing to co-operate. 

Lachlan didn't speak to Louis for so long. For the first year, no matter how many times Harry took away his devices or grounded him, or even threaten to take away his football team, Lachlan never backed down. It hurt Louis to whom eventually told Harry to just stop and let it go. Harry hated watching the way Louis had finally 'given up' in a way. To Louis, he didn't feel the need to punish Lachlan for being mad. He understood it. What he didn't like, was the feeling of being rejected by the boy he loved so dearly. It hurt Harry that whenever Louis walked into a room, Lachlan would exit and that's how it continued on for many years until this present time. 

Lachlan and Louis never could seem to find the right medium in order to repair the damage that had been made. Lachlan never could draw the strength to surrender and forgive. Harry and Lachlan remained close, which was a severe blow to Harry's heart. To Lachlan, Louis no longer existed in the house. Meanwhile, Louis devoted his entire time to the twins and his wonderful husband. 

Louis and Lachlan had well and truly fallen apart. 

Not all was lost though with Lachlan still being the amazing brother he was. The relationship he had built with Avah was beautiful. The brother and sister duo were stupidly close. If Lachlan moved Avah would follow and vice versa. Avah looked up to her brother who she adored and loved tremendously while Grayson often stayed in his shell and kept to himself, Lachlan always made sure to include him in everything. As ' Sun' grew older Lachlan relished in having someone to finally play football with. 

Things certainly weren't traditional in the household but even with their dysfunctional lifestyle Lachlan remained close to his siblings.......and Harry.

It wasn't until Lachlan turned seventeen that things changed drastically. His world took a turn for the better as he received a phone call that changed his life. He was offered a scholarship into a football program. Problem was, it meant he had to move away to Los Angeles where he would study and train. 

Louis was ecstatic and beside himself when Harry had told him the big news. He wanted nothing more than to burst through the lad's bedroom door and shower him with 'congratulations' but he didn't, he knew Lachlan didn't want him to. So Louis wished him luck and prayed for him in the shadows until it became the day he had to leave for the states. 

Harry kept hounding him at the airport lounge asking repeatedly if he had remembered to pack everything. It was a nervous time for the parents who were very wary and scared of letting their eldest travel abroad all alone. When his flight departure was announced over the speaker, Avah clung to him begging him not to go, which tore at Lachlan's heart strings. After finally detaching from Avah, he gave Grayson a hug and whispered something into his ear, to this day no-one still knows what was said. Watching Harry hug him tightly made Louis jealous he wouldn't deny that. He felt confused at that moment because he wanted that too, he wanted to say goodbye properly, so he took a chance and surprised everyone including himself, when he stepped forward without hesitation wrapping his arms around him with such force. Everyone watched on as Lachlan never moved, not returning the hug but when Louis pulled back, he saw the smallest of all smiles when Louis had told him how proud he was of him. It may have been only a tiny interaction but at least it was a start. 

**************

Harry got a call from Lachlan a week after his 20th birthday, where he excitedly informed him he had been accepted into the major league and would now be playing at a professional level which would be broadcasted on live TV.

" Am I late?" 

Avah puffed and puffed completely unfit and out of air as she ran into the lounge room, pushing Grayson's feet off the couch, so she could sit down. 

" No, but if your head wasn't buried in your phone talking to boys you would have noticed the time and been here earlier." 

It was a snide remark from Grayson that caught her father's attention. 

" What boy? " Harry retorts glancing her way. 

" Nice one Goober!" She snaps at Grayson who smirks and throws her the finger. 

" Sssh, you too! It's starting." 

Louis always gets nervous watching his games but today it's soaring at a whole new level because it's the Grand final. Like usual Harry sits back watching the way Louis jumps with excitement and screams at the tv when the umpires don't agree with his vision of what the 'rules' are and even after all these years Harry still finds himself admiring the beauty and charisma that Louis displays, more than watching the screen. 

" THAT'S MY BOY, YOU LITTLE RIPPER! WHOO HOOO! YES YES YES, HARRY DID YOU SEE HE FREAKING DID IT, I TOLD YOU HE WAS MADE FOR THIS " 

To say Louis was a tad excited would be an understatement. A rush of pride fills the room as they all clap and whistle to Lachlan through the screen to who has just kicked the winning goal. The commentators are discussing how much Lachlan has achieved in such a short period of time as the cameraman focuses in on Lachlan being hugged and surrounded by his team mates. 

" Everyone quiet !" Louis yells.

Lachlan has been pulled aside and is now being interviewed. Louis sits next to Harry who smiles proudly as they join hands to listen. Louis can't contain the happiness on his face as he watches Lachlan explain his love of football but when the commentator asks him why he loves football so much, Harry, Louis, and both Grayson and Avah all tense as they stare in anticipation.

"
I've

 always enjoyed football. Ever since I was little you would find a ball at 

my

 feet.
"

It makes Louis super happy as he thinks back on when he first saw Anne give him that ball outside their house.

"
I just want to take a moment to thank my manager and my team mates for the 

continuous

 support you continue to show me every week. To my siblings back at home, guys I miss you. 

*

 blows a kiss to the screen*

 

To my 

Papa
 Harry, thank you for 
making

 my life as magical as it has been. You always showed me love at every opportunity and supported me in every way you 

could

. Thank you so much for every sacrifice and every bit of faith you stored inside of me. I love you and hope to see you soon.
"

Louis watches the way Lachlan takes a deep breath before staring at the screen. He can feel the way Harry is tightening his grip on his hand, both anxious to see if he was going to mention Louis.

"
And last but not least, I wouldn't have become the player I am today if it wasn't for someone who means the world to me, who encouraged and inspired me to never give up, to who I owe all my thanks and gratitude for being so patient and teaching me everything I know. He once said to me "I don't want to hear about your dreams Lachy, I want you to show me them. Without you, I wouldn't be standing here today. You know who you are."

Harry gets a little upset because Louis didn't get the ' I love you' and when he sees Louis' tears strolling down his face he looks back at the screen just in time to notice it as well. Lachlan may not have said his name specifically and no-one else around the world who is watching wouldn't have seen or understood what both the men did, as Lachlan curled his little pinky.

" Aww, Lou......." 

" I want him to come home, Harry." 

" I know love, me too."

****************

~~~1 month later ~~~

The last few weeks have been hectic as Louis starts a new job. Now the kids are fully grown he often feels secluded and bound within four walls with boredom hitting upon him daily.

As Louis sits on the edge of the bed kicking off his shoes, Harry emerges from the bathroom the water from his hair dripping all over the floor.

" Shit you scared me, I didn't know you were home yet. How was your first day?" 

Louis has no intention of explaining to Harry how much he really hated it. Working in a library isn't as easy as he thought it would be. 
Biting his lip as he eyes Harry's torso, a devious thought pops into his head.

" Let's just say my eyeballs and feet are sore and I'm glad to be home." 

Chuckling at that, Harry drops his head using one of the towels to dry his hair, while Louis uses the time to pull off his own clothes discreetly. Sitting down he leans back onto his elbows spreading his legs apart with bent up knees, giving Harry quite the view when he flicks his hair back up. 

There's a low groan emitting from Harry and Louis smirks. 

" Hungry H?" 

Louis rolls over onto all fours looking back over his shoulder seductively and Harry hasn't been this aroused in weeks. 

" Fucking hell" he mumbles as he drops his own towel from around his waist, sporting a semi and already eager to mount him. Not wasting time Harry dives in for a taste. Louis quivers when Harry's warm juicy tongue licks over his hole slowly. It ignites a deep fire in the pit of Harry's stomach as he gently pulls apart his cheeks burying his tongue into the depths of Louis' walls causing him to push back into Harry's face.

Louis squirms as Harry works tiredly around his rim and without any warning, Harry pushes in his finger working up a fast notion as he lowers his head to suck his balls at the same time. Having had enough of being so teased, Louis flings himself up and pushes Harry down flat on the bed to straddle him. 

Leaning down he kisses Harry sweetly on the lips. 

" Fuck I love you" Lou whispers. Harry begins to repeat it back but is distracted when Louis begins to lower himself down onto his leaking cock. Circling gently at first to adjust, Louis adapts quickly starting to bounce, changing his pace multiple times in order to preserve energy. The moans coming from Harry are turning Louis on so much that he's scared of pre-ejaculating as he begins to roll his hips in the figure eight rotation that drives Harry crazy. 

" B-Baby oh God, Lou. Shit your beautiful." 

The moment Harry grabs a hold of Louis' dick for a tug, Louis cums with no effort, splurting all over Harry who is at his peak, almost ready to explode himself, when they unexpectedly become extremely embarrassed. 

" You guys are not going to believe this-"

Louis has never jumped so fast in his life at the sound of his bedroom door, which has just been sprung open with a very horrified Grayson now standing in the doorway. His heart is beating rapidly as he tries to wrap himself in the sheet. 

" Shit oh my god, yuk, my eyes, jesus christ guys, far out, put all that away please, ewe!" Grayson covers his eyes but instead of leaving the room he just stands there awkwardly as Harry and Louis move fast to grab their clothes. 

" Grayson I love you I do but please get the fuck out of this room." 

" No, dad's please listen, I came to tell you LACHLAN'S HOME!" 

Looking at each other with wide eyes and with Grayson's back turned, they run to the bathroom to wash their hands and quickly get themselves clean and dressed. Now back in safe territory, Grayson rushes out the rest pumping with adrenalin at the excitement of his brother returning home. 

" I heard a car pull up on the gravel out front, so I looked out the window because I knew you guys and Avah were already home and I saw a taxi. Lachlan is grabbing heaps of bags out of the trunk."

It's like Harry reads Louis' mind as they both run to the door, jogging down the stairs and stopping in the foyer just as the door opens. 

" Nice to see my key still works." He laughs, dropping one of the bags from his hands and running to Harry. 

" Darling why didn't you call, I would have picked you up at the airport...Oh my god look at you, how have you grown so tall and far out look at those muscles. Are you hungry? Come closer. I'm so happy you are home" 

Harry is rushing out words his lips can't keep up with, while Louis stands back nervously. Lachlan pulls back and stretches his arms out for Grayson.

" Sun, my gosh you have grown so much. How are you, buddy?" They give each other a hug and a 'manly' pat on the back.

" You took wayyy too long to finally come home. Well done on your game moony but that last goal was a fluke because we all know you lack skill." 

Lachlan laughs and gives him the finger. It's only then Lachlan looks at Louis and gives a slight nod. 

" Dad." 

Louis wants to bowl him over with cuddles and praise but he wants Lachlan to be in charge of how this proceeds, so he stays put. 

" Welcome home sweet."

It may not have been the reunion he was wishing for but it was a start. 

The moment is ruined when an ear piercing scream echoes throughout the house. 

" LACHY !!!!!!"

Avah bolts down the last stair running a million miles a second, jumping up and into her brother's arms, making him stumble backwards into the door. 

" Hey, butterfly. Long time no see. You doing alright?"

Avah squeezes him tight before he lowers her back down. 

"I didn't miss you at all big brother, it was actually so nice and peaceful and -" 

"Oh really, so you don't mind if I turn around then, I will just go back to LA." 

Lachlan picks up his bag and turns to the door as Harry and Louis laugh at the sibling banter.

" YOU are not going anywhere" 

She grabs his arm and starts to pull him towards the kitchen. 

Sitting around the table Lachlan tells stories about life in America, his footy team, and his friends and Louis' heart has been swelling with pride the entire time. Lachlan goes over to the cupboard while Harry is putting on the kettle and the twins smirk because they know what is coming as Lachlan returns to the table. 

Louis has to hold back a laugh and a smile at the same time so he doesn't blow his cover. He has pretended for years that he never ' witnessed' anything but he always has. Harry however is still totally oblivious. All their hands disappear under the table to where Lachlan hands them each a snickers bar. Lachlan used to do this all the time when they were younger with Harry still to this day not allowing junk food except for Wednesdays.

Avah giggles at her phone and stands.

" Who are you texting?" Lachlan enquires.

" Her boyfriend." Grayson laughs knowing full well what was about to happen. 

" BOYFRIEND!!!" 

Avah starts to walk off quickly to which Lachlan follows. Harry and Louis share a smile because their baby is home and the not-so-little brother was still just as protective as he always had been as they listen to the two running up the stairs. 

" Who is it? How old is he? WHATS HIS NAME AVAH !?!

**************

When Lachlan was fifteen he had asked Harry to re-paint his room. Opening up his door he is shocked to find it exactly the same as he had left it five years ago. The car posters are still on the wall and his football scarves are still hung above his bed. He hasn't been 'home' in so long and looking around, it should feel weird and feel out of place but it doesn't. Hearing a knock on the door he calls out 

" Come in." 

" You alright?"

Harry is carrying a cup of tea and lowers it onto his bedside table. 

" A bit tired, jet-lag is kicking in I think." 

Harry sits down close beside him. 

" How's treatment been going? You haven't updated me in a while, you had me worried when you didn't text back." 

When Lachlan turned eighteen and became an adult, he demanded to see the doctors on his own, using the excuse he wanted to learn to become independent. Which he kind of had to since he was in LA but Harry had offered to fly over for appointments if he wanted him to. Lachlan refused because, in reality, he wanted to hide, shield and protect his parents from what was really happening with his illness. He still didn't want to be a burden in their lives. So Lachlan did just that. He attended all the appointments at his new clinic in LA and continued to have blood drained regularly. The medical staff on the footy team of course knew of his circumstances and were very diligent and helpful in making sure his medical requirements were safely met. 

" It's all good Papa. Had blood drained only last week. All blood results are sitting right where the Doc hoped they would be. There's nothing to worry about." 

Harry stands patting his knee as he stood. 

" That's good. Great to hear. Get some rest. It's really nice to have you home son." 

Lachlan thought that being home would allow him some proper rest that he so desperately needed but he found himself turning side to side in bed all night, not being able to get comfortable and he thinks he knows why. 

Louis. 

He misses his dad so much and the amount of guilt he is feeling for the way he has treated him over the years is not letting him settle off to sleep. His conscious won't stop giving him grief. 

**************

" You sure you are ok with this? If it's too soon we can change it to another day. I can tell everyone to go home, I don't mind. " 

Harry had asked Lachlan if it was ok to have a family BBQ. He has been home for a week now and yet no-one had told anyone of Lachlan's return. Not Anne or Gemma, not Niall, nor Liam or Zayn. Absolutely no-one because they wanted just a little bit of time to themselves with the boy that been be gone for years. 

" Yes, I told you a hundred times already. Plus grandma wouldn't leave on her own free will if you tried. She has kissed me over a gazillion times." 

Harry laughs because the number count is probably eerily accurate.

" How is he?" 

They both look out to the yard where Louis is sitting under the pergola swigging a beer as he chats with Niall. 
Harry swallows deeply when he gets a case of Deja-Vu. Twelve years ago they stood in this same spot, looking out the same window at the very same person, when Harry had sent Lachlan out to 'fix' things with Louis and we all know how that had panned out. 

" You really want to know the truth or do you want the sugar coated version?"

Lachlan doesnt dare look at his papa when he answers softly. 

" I'm sorry." 

Harry wasn't expecting that and he isn't too sure what it is he is apologizing for. 

" He misses you deeply Lachy. He loves you, so so much. You know that right." 

Lachlan tears up but doesn't let Harry see it. 

" I miss him too." 

Harry sadly smiles. 

" I know." 

There's a small pause before Harry finishes his sentence.

" He saw the pinky." 

Lachlan looks at Harry and smiles. 

" Maybe I'm not the one you need to be talking to right now sweetheart. " 

Lachlan looks back out at Louis who is smoking. 

" He smokes?" 

Harry doesn't answer, instead patting his shoulder as he ventures back outside to rejoin everyone. It's been a long time coming as Lachlan pushes open the door and beelines for his dad.

" Those things will kill you one day. " 

Louis turns to see Lachlan who sits down beside him. Niall understands this milestone and quickly excuses himself walking over to join Harry and Anne. 

Looking at each other Louis smiles on the brink of tears. No words need to be spoken because words are being said by the heart. There's sorrow, and apologies but most of all, there's forgiveness finally breaking through. After 20 mins of staring off into the scenery, Louis breaks the ice.

" I missed you terribly."

Lachlan stands and walks away making Louis feel like he shouldn't have said a thing, only for him to resurface seconds later. 

Louis eyes the ball. 

" C'mon Dad, for old time's sake."

Louis hasn't kicked a ball around since the last time they both played.

" Oh ah sure. " 

They begin to kick softly back and forth as Anne hugs Harry who is watching from across the yard, memories of them playing just like they used to many years ago flashing before his own very eyes. Harry can see Louis' heart physically being restored as he cries. 

Lachlan travels the ball super fast down the grass shooting his shot at the net and scoring a goal. 

Louis laughs as he approaches him.

"Well done "
probessinal
" 

Lachy's mouth falls open as he laughs.

"Probessinal, Oh my god, you are never going to let me forget that are you?"

"Nope, But I will say, I've watched every game of yours and you are a brilliant player Lachlan, you always have been." 

The atmosphere has changed and neither of them has noticed that everyone else has returned inside to give them some space and privacy. Lachlan knows this is his chance. He lunges forward clasping his dad around his neck as he squeezes him tightly into the biggest hug. 

"Well, I had a good teacher didn't I?"
His words are cracked as he sniffles. 

Letting go, Lachlan smiles making Louis feel the happiest he has been in such a long time.

" I'm so sorry Dad. I just-"

" No, don't do that. You have nothing to apologize for. I should have told you earlier on and I was just too scared. You were entitled to be angry and hurt. Just know darling I never stopped loving you. I thought of you every day and I'm so dammed proud of you, you hear me." 

" I love you, dad." 

" Love you too." 

Louis scruffs the top of his head and turns away scuffing the ball between his feet as he runs in the direction of the goals. 

"Come on Mr big shot let's see what you -" 

Louis is interrupted when he hears a sound. A noise from this moment on he will never forget. Lachlan's voice echoes as he screams and it scares Louis to the core because Lachlan cries out a sound that only Louis remembers from his younger days, the sound he only ever heard when Lachlan was scared. 

"LOULOU" 

Spinning around fast he feels himself shatter, frozen in shock as he watches Lachlan begin to collapse to the ground. 

" LACHLANNNN" 

He runs over saving his head from hitting the ground. He places his head in his lap as he sits on the grass screaming out for Harry. 

Harry only makes it a few meters out the door before he sees Lachy's lifeless limbs laying across Louis' lap. He hears a crunch to a knee as Harry's legs give way falling to the floor. The pain is nothing in comparison to what's happening inside his heart. 

" No,no.....no." Harry repeats as he stares at Louis who is crying uncontrollably holding Lachlan to his chest, rocking back and forth screaming at Lachlan to wake up.

It becomes a little chaotic as Niall runs to Harry. Liam runs to grab a phone while Anne runs to Louis. 

The twins stand frozen in fear as they cling to each other not having no idea what they should do. Avah covers her face as she cries into Grayson's shoulder. 

Unfortunately, it's too late. 

Lachlan's time on this earth has sadly come to an end. 

**************

⚠️
Trigger warning ⚠️

Funeral talk and grief scenes.

( 

I'm

 sorry 💔)

Losing someone you love alters your life in so many ways. The harsh reality is, is that you WILL grieve forever, you won't '
get over it
' but you will simply learn to live with it. Over time you will slowly, piece by piece begin to rebuild yourself and start to heal but you won't fully be the same ever again. So don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how you feel. Whether it's how much you care for them or appreciate them, love or cherish them, and especially if you forgive them because when they are gone, they are gone forever and no matter how loud you scream, shout or cry, they won't be able to hear you anymore. 

The service ended thirty minutes ago and Louis and Harry find themselves now standing side by side drowned in sorrow. 

" Come on Lou, it's time to go home." 

Louis continues to stare down at Lachlan.

'
I'm

 so sorry Lachy, I should have 

been

 there for you. I love you so much, I'm sorry darling, I'm so freaking sorry. I really pray to god that you can hear me. I miss you.'

He doesn't say the words out loud. The words are swarming the inside of his head as he crouches over the coffin feeling nothing but numb. 

Louis turns to Harry rolling up the sleeve of his suit shirt and tugging at the bond band that they both still wear. 

"What are you doing?"

Ignoring him, Louis unclips Harry's band clasping it in his own before lowering it onto Lachlan's chest. 

Harry's breath hitches as he realizes what he is doing causing his eyes to produce tears instantly. 

" I miss you, baby."

Louis presses his bond band that's still on his own wrist, which vibrates on Lachlan's chest.

Harry can't take much more today. His own heart is hurting and yet today he has tried his best to be strong, to be there for both Lou and his other two children who are all not coping. 

" It's time Lou." 
Harry tries to hold his hand to guide him out but Louis disregards it. 

" I can't move Harry. I can't leave, I can't! I'M NOT GOING TO LEAVE HIM HERE ALL ALONE HARRY, I CANT, I JUST CANT!!!!

Louis grabs a firm hold of Lachlan's casket his other hand caressing Lachlan's hair as he becomes erratically distressed.

Liam, Niall, and Zayn have impeccable timing as they step back into the church at the exact time that Harry needed them the most. 

" HELP ME! " 

Harry yells to them, to whom all come running once they see Harry struggling to hold up their mate. 

" IM NOT LEAVING !!! " Louis shouts angrily at them all, as four sets of bodies surround him. 

When all the boys wrap their arms around showering his body with a sense of understanding, he settles and falls slowly to the floor. 

"I'm not leaving" He repeats quietly. 

" You don't have to yet, Lou. Just breathe for me."

Liam tries reassuring him while rubbing his hand up and down his back while he glances up at a panicked and exhausted Harry. 

Harry needs air. 

Niall can see that Harry is close to losing it and nods his head indicating to take a walk out front. The moment the air hits his face Harry begins hyperventilating making Niall hug him tightly.

" Fucking hell Ni, he is gone. My little boy Niall, I....how do I? How do I get past this, how do I continue to live when he........" 

Niall's lip is trembling at full speed as he grabs and pulls him in close once again. 

The moment is broken when they are interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Harry looks the boy up and down and frowns as he doesn't recognize the face. 

" Hello, I'm sorry to intrude. May I have a minute? " 

" Do I know you?"

Louis and Liam emerge out the door looking at Harry who seems to be in a deep conversation with a young boy as they close in on the distance, Liam close to his side, a hand still comforting him on his back. 

" Hey, darling. Um, I'd like you to meet someone." Harry clears his throat and prays to god this isn't going to set Louis back even further. " This is Johnny, Lachlan's room mate and best friend.

" It's nice to meet you. Sorry that it had to be this way but I just wanted to meet the parents that Lock talked about all the time." 

Harry and Louis share a confused look.

" Lock?"

" Yeah, Lachlan's nickname. It's what the boys on the team called him." 

Yep, Louis is close to losing his mind because there's so much information about his son that he has no idea about after so many years apart. 

" He would really hate me right now if he knew I was saying this but I have a feeling deep down that you need to know."

Louis hasn't realised he is holding his breath as Harry pulls him into his side. 

"There was a reason he came home when he did." 

Harry has the worse knot in his stomach, suddenly unprepared for whatever was about to come. 

"Lachlan spoke about you guys a lot and I know you all had your differences but with that aside, he often said how much he missed and loved you all so much."

Johnny becomes a bit jittery, nervous even as he looks back and forth between the pair. 

"The doctor had informed him not too long ago that his body wasn't fighting back as well as it should be and that treatment alone was not sufficient enough anymore but he didn't want to worry you. The doctor told him it was a good idea to start spending time with those he loves before it was too late. The next day he got on the plane."

'Shit' both Niall and Liam mutter quietly at the same time. 

Just as the body goes into shock after a physical trauma, so does the human psyche after the impact of a great loss. 

Louis is shaking from head to toe. 

" He knew?" Louis chokes. 

Harry thanks the boy who nods at Louis courteously.

" Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Oh! before I go, I think you ought to have this." 

Louis reaches out taking the item.

" He had this next to his bed. He looked at it and held it every night."

It's a picture of Louis and Lachlan with his first trophy. When Johnny gives his condolences once again and turns to leave, Louis notices a piece of paper folded up in the corner of the frame. He pulls the back out unfolding it and when his eyes land on the words he feels his lungs constrict.

✨️Among the stars a night so clear✨️

It's the poem. 

It's the adoption poem Louis wrote him that Harry recited every night. 
Louis gasps and turns to vomit all over the grass. Everything is too much for him, he has reached his physical and emotional limit. Harry's so worried about him and insists on taking him home immediately, so he gathers up the kids and says goodbye to the lads.

**************

It is a quiet drive home with no-one saying a word. Louis rested his head against the window staring at the photo in his hand the entire way. 

Louis stutters as he tells Harry he wants a shower. Harry knows he is overwhelmed and needs space. 

With Louis in the shower, Harry tells the twins he is worried about him as Grayson rubs his Papa's back. 

" Are you ok?" Grayson asks.

Harry fully breaks down and cries. 

" It's ok to be sad Papa, you don't need to be strong for us, he was your son too."

**************

Harry is still sitting patiently on the bed waiting for Louis, when Grayson enters the room. 

" Is dad still in there?" 

" Yes. It's been one hour and 7 minutes." 

" You're counting?" 

" YEAH GRAYSON I AM!" 

Grayson opens his eyes wide and holds his hands up in defeat. 

" Sorry" 

Harry is burnt out. He is sad, he is tired and he can no longer function properly anymore. To others, Harry appears as though he is coping. Truth is, his grief is kind of mimicking that of broken ribs. From the outside, nothing looks wrong but with every breath he takes, it hurts. 

" No, I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout. I'm just so worried. That's it I'm going in there."

Harry stands up as Grayson leaves his Papa to give him privacy. 

Opening up the door to the bathroom Harry finds Louis curled up in the fetal position on the shower floor. He is shivering as the water is running cold and his face is red and blotchy from crying. 

" Lou!" 

Harry is getting drenched as he bends down to pick him up. The first thing he notices is how cold his body is, he is frozen. As Harry carries him out into the bedroom he sees how purple his lips are as they continuously chatter. He moves super fast to dress him warmly laying him down and climbing into the bed behind him. 

With a tight embrace, Harry kisses the back of his wet hair, and when Louis speaks Harry just wants to love him more or harder or something to aid in taking the pain away from him.

" I should have held him tighter and longer that day Harry, this is all my fault." 

Louis' body begins to wobble with every gut-wrenching sob making Harry tighten his grip. Hearing his husband cry and blaming himself tips him right over the edge. He tries to console him but he understands that in his current state of mind, he isn't truly comprehending anything. 

"Don't do that to yourself, Lou."

" If I was smarter I would have walked away from Marcus and Lachlan wouldn't have had to go through this, he wouldn't have had his DNA. This IS MY fault, Harry, I should have never been a fucking coward!" 

Harry rubs his back and somehow manages to keep his cool. 

"But if you had done that Lou, you would not have conceived and we wouldn't have had him at all."

Not listening to Harry Louis continues to vent his frustrations. 

"I should have told him about Marcus and maybe then all this time wouldn't have been wasted. Maybe he would have understood, maybe he could have forgiven me, maybe he and I..." 

Louis continues to sob quietly.

One thing you can't recycle is time. Time is one of your most valued commodities and having spent so many years apart from Lachlan felt like nothing but wasted time. 

Harry sheds tears too as he cuddles into his devastated spouse. He lays there for an hour stroking away at his ruffled hair in order to gently soothe and provide comfort.

When Louis is asleep. Harry ventures downstairs to get something to eat. He stops at Lachlan's bedroom that until recently had been shut for years. He puts his hand on the handle but can't bring himself to open it. It's then he hears something down the hall. 

Its Avah.

If he hadn't have been paying attention he wouldn't have heard her soft cry. Pushing open her door which was slightly ajar, he sees her sitting at her desk. 

" May I?" 

Upon hearing her Papa's voice she nods to let him in. Standing behind her with his hands resting on her shoulders, he looks at her through the mirror.

" You ok honey?" 

Shaking her head no he taps her shoulder for her to stand up. Hugging her she cries a little harder. 

" I don't know how to say goodbye. Fuck I miss him. He only just came back and now he is gone. Why papa! WHY " 

Harry hates seeing her so upset. He knew this would affect her strongly with the bond that they had formed but right now he doesn't know how to console and help her. 

It becomes a regular routine as he 
witness's Avah crying every night for the following week, in the same spot at the exact same time every night.

He had spoken with Grayson yesterday, who also says he wants to help both Avah and his dad but he has no clue as to how. It makes him feel terrible and useless and it's only then as they sat side by side at the kitchen table that Harry realizes he hasn't seen Grayson cry. 

" Are you ok baby? I've spent so much time with dad and Avah that I haven't stopped to check on you. I'm so bloody sorry darling. " 

He pulls Grayson closer to him giving him a hug. He is about to pull back when he hears a soft sob. 

" It's all going to be ok. Let it out baby, let it out. Everything will be fine. We'll be alright." 

" I miss him, I've tried to be strong for dad and Avah and you but...... I keep watching his footy videos on youtube. I keep thinking and praying he is going to walk back on through the door again but he isn't going to is he." 

Harry kisses the top of his head. 

" Oh baby, I'm so sorry." 

Taking a deep breath and wiping his eyes, Harry suggests they take a night walk.

" You want to get some fresh air? It's dark out but it's not too cold and -" 

Grayson shakes his head profoundly, blatantly refusing the idea of stepping outside. 

" No, no sorry, I can't!" 
He croaked out defensively but with a soft calmness.

Grayson wipes his nose with his thumb looking down at his feet.

" I can't look at the moon." 
He murmurs. 

Harry realizes why. 

' 
Moon
' '
Moony
'

" Oh fuck." 

Harry goes and grabs two beers out of the fridge as they both sit back down at the table. Harry does something Grayson was defintely not expecting. 

He hands it to him under the table.

Graysons eyes shoot open In surprise. 

" You knew?!?!" 

" Grayson come on, you really didn't think I knew he was handing you lollies under the table at dinner time?" It makes Grayson scoff cutely. 

" Why didn't you say anything?" 

Lifting their bottles and taking a large swig each, they look to each other and smile.

" It was kind of funny to me, thinking you kids and dad thought that I had no idea what was happening." 

" Wait...wait....dad knew too!" 

Harry laughs. 

" Of course, nothing gets past parents, darling."

Grayson burps at the sudden bubbles hitting his throat. 

" Lachy would totally hate that you are letting me drink alcohol right now." 

For the first time in what feels like an eternity, Harry actually laughs at that nodding his head in agreement. He leans over and snatches the bottle.

" Hey give that back!" 

" No, you are absolutely right." 

Grayson grins softly. 

" I miss him" 

" Me too sweetheart, me too." 

" Do you remember when Lachlan hugged me at the airport?" 

" You mean when he whispered to you and you wouldn't tell anyone what he said, yes I remember that." 

Grayson smiles. 

" He told me to look after Dad. Not you, not me, not Avah, but Dad. Told me to be strong for him, learn, and listen to him because he was going to need it."

Harry has no idea how he is going to survive in this household much longer. 

***************

Checking in on Avah the following night like he always does before bed, he gets an idea when he sees a picture of Avah and Lachlan together on her mirror that she must have just put there. 

" Darling, are you busy tomorrow? I've just thought of a way we can both honor Lachlan."

He just hopes this will give her a tiny bit of relief and the comfort she seeks because it's the only thing he can think of. 

The following morning he tells Louis who is resting yet again in front of the tv, that Avah isn't coping and that he is taking her out for the day, and that they will be back soon. Louis nods not really being coherent. 

***********

Louis jumps at the sound of the front door opening and closing. With Grayson staying at his friend's house and Avah and Harry out for a few hours the house had never felt so cold......so empty. He has spent the last few hours trying to nap because this last month has been nothing but agony and sleeping has become a thing of the past. How can he sleep when all he can see when he closes his eyes is Lachlan laying motionless in his arms. 

" Dad?" 

His body is achy and so tired, so tired that he has forgotten what it felt like to get some rest. He has spent so much time lounging around he feels the soreness in his back as he stands, flicking the tv remote over onto the coffee table. 

" In the lounge room Sweet."

Avah looks better than she did when she left as she now sports a tiny smile. It's not a happy one but at least she's not sobbing anymore. Harry is rubbing her back gently and Louis can tell something is up. 

" What is going on?"

Avah looks nervous now while Harry on the other hand continues to look at the ground. It makes Louis anxious and begins to walk closer before Avah tells him to stop. 

" Dad. I have something to show you and look, I know we should have spoken to you first and I'm really hoping you won't get mad but Papa said it was ok and that he would sweet talk you out of any hostility if you lose your shit and -" 

Harry looks at Avah and opens his mouth wide at the way she just did him dirty. Avah sees him smile so she knows it's all good. Louis however, is now freaking out more. 

" Avah Johanna Styles you better tell me right now or so help me G -" 

Not wanting to hear the rest of her dad's threat she extends out her arm showing the inside of her wrist. To say Louis was surprised was an understatement. He knows what it is but he can't see it properly yet and before he can move any closer Avah throws Harry right under the bus too. 

" Papa has one as well." 

Harry who now understands the cat is out of the bag lifts up his shirt. Louis takes a couple of steps as Avah continues to talk. 

" I just wanted a part of Lachlan with me, dad. Papa suggested it and-" 

Whatever words were spoken after that point were never heard by Louis as he focused in on the matching tattoos. Below her wrist was a small but beautiful brightly colored tattoo of a butterfly. He ran his finger across her wrist tracing the outline delicately as he swallowed hard, trying his best to not break down once again but he looks over at Harry's abdomen that now sports a giant black butterfly that sends him over the edge as he loses control, not being able to hold it back any longer as he begins to fall to the ground as his legs shake with trepidation and fear. Harry lunges forward luckily breaking the fall as he clasps to his body. He cries uncontrollably as visions again flood his mind of that day. He hears Lachlan's four-year-old voice like a teasing buzzing in his ear, 

' 
She's

 

beautiful

 daddy just like a butterfly'
 

It sounds so real and loud to him like it was just yesterday and it hurts as it rips through his soul like a tidal wave as Harry pulls his head tightly into his chest as he cries erratically. 

" Dad I'm sorry, I just-" 

Harry answers instead, with Louis too incoherent to speak.

" It's ok Darling, just give us a minute yeah." 

Avah feels terrible as she too begins to crumble at the sight of her dad so fragile and weak. Never before has she witnessed her dad like this, it scares her until Harry mouths a silent ' 
It's

 ok'.

The last few weeks have been tough on Harry with having to watch his husband fall apart. His other children haven't been coping well either and he has felt the need to be the glue, the one to hold them all together, to stand up strong and be there for his family but it's hard. 

He too has lost his son.

*************

Knock knock knock.
 

" Papa said you wanted to see me. What's up?" 

Avah enters through Grayson's bedroom door plonking her bum down onto the edge of his bed as Grayson climbs up and out of his gaming chair walking over to his cupboard. Fumbling around for a second Avah raises an eyebrow as Grayson slowly proceeds to walk towards her with his hands behind his back. 

" If that's a fucking spider, I will hurt you Grayson I swear." 

Laughing and then frowning as he tries to pick the right words he puts out his hand handing her a present. 

" Is this for me? What is this?" 

Avah opens the box and covers her eyes when she sees what it is. 

" Look I know I'm not as good a brother as he was and believe me when I say Im not trying to replace him but I promise you Avah, I'm always here for you ok. It pains me to see you cry and I know Lachlan will haunt me in my dreams if I didn't try and help you in some way. Do you like it ?" 

Pulling out the necklace she immediately ties it around her neck. 

" I love it and thank you. You are a good brother too Grayson. I love you just the same. "

![](https://img.wattpad.com/605428a647bf2ced2c3dcd4c6ee3b7c4ee81ab42/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f4a346a6f4e62375839716f6e68673d3d2d313330363236303032332e313734303937653136643234666365353935393430333737343132342e6a7067)

~~~1 Month later~~~

It's the first time they are all visiting Lachlan's grave after Harry had suggested it this morning. The four of them have made a pact. Every year, no matter how busy they seem or where in the world they may be, they have all promised to meet at the cemetery on Lachlan's birthday. 

Harry and the twins are allowing Louis some time alone as the three of them take shelter under a tree about twenty meters away.

Perpetual peace is only found in a graveyard but only for the dead. 
Louis looks around before sitting down on the grass, his hands held tightly around his bent knees. 

"When you were only four, I knew I couldn't go on facing life without you anymore. I couldn't keep wasting my life locked away in silence knowing you were out there somewhere. I realized that to feel more alive again, I had to be less afraid, and so I did. I somehow managed to find the courage I needed to put aside my own fear. I longed for you, missed you, I loved and needed you so much sweetheart, and I still do. I miss you so much Lachlan." 

Louis falls forward, his hand resting gently along the top of the headstone as he begins to cry. Tears he knew that would never fade, a large part of his own being now ripped away from deep within himself all without permission, leaving his heart once again in a despairing state of solitude. 

" I looked for you, searched for you, and one day.....I found you. I found you baby, and that, that was the day..... that I gained my whole life back." 

Louis traces his hand across the gold lettering 
' Passed away April 28th.' 

Sitting on his knees he leans back gently resting on his ankles. He lifts his head towards the sky, his eyes skimming the infinity of blue in a desperate plea for strength. 

28. 
A number he once hated, then loved, and now hates again. 
Lachlan entered his life on the 28th of September and sadly, his body left this earth also on the 28th. 

" Why? " He finds himself whispering to the clouds. 
" To punish me I understand but to do this to him? WHY!!" 

His knuckle roughly connects with the ground as he plummets his fist into the grass in anger. He can feel himself begin to fall apart. He lifts his eyes, which automatically like a magnet searches for Harry to whom is already jogging towards him with the twins. He looks at Lachlan's name on the grave one last time. 

" I can't believe I've lost you twice. I love you, baby boy, always have and always will. 

He presses the bond band on his wrist and holds it to his lips. 

He can see the worry in Harry's eyes as they approach closer, his children scared of seeing him fall and crumble into an abyss of darkness once again. 

He looks at them with tears and inhales deeply as something foreign suddenly flows throughout his body. The sun appears from between the clouds and Louis feels it wholeheartedly as it washes all over him. 

He can sense Lachlan is there with him.

Whether it's the way his hair starts gently blowing in the wind or the tingles he is feeling in his fingers or the goosebumps striking upon his arms, he can feel him, all around him in every way, shape, and form. 

Lachlan may be gone but he will never be forgotten. 

There's a reassurance being poked into his chest. A sudden realization that he will be ok..... sad, hurt, and even a little angry from time to time but Louis, he will eventually be alright because there are three faces approaching him that will move heaven and earth to make sure of it. 

The memory of Lachlan is locked away in his heart where it will stay, wrapped tightly with memories that he will cherish forever. 

As he feels all the arms wrap around him everything becomes more vividly clear. Love is strong and fierce and throughout parenthood, bonds are made between parent and child, partner and partner that simply can not be broken. It gives you a sense of security and from now on Louis prays and hopes that their future will be bright and full of love, even if a piece of himself will now be forever null and void. 

For Louis, he promises to continue to love and protect his family to the best he can because no matter what life has in store for the styles household from now on, there will be no more goodbyes, only hello's.

**************

A/N 

And 

that's

 a 

wrap

! 

Completed at 8k reads 

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An
 
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