The Death of Molly Esquivel

High Profile Rape Case involving the Ramirez and Esquivel Clan ends up in Suicide

Manila, Philippines— Molly Esquivel, daughter of the Andres Esquivel of Esquivel Group of Companies, took her own life following the acquittal of Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez from the charges of rape. Molly’s parents say police investigators mishandled her rape claims. They also believe her alleged rapist escaped prosecution because of his prominent and wealthy family.

The Timeline

September 2015

According to her friends, Esquivel was an introverted girl during her first two years on campus. She took up BS Business Management, and attended the same school as Ramirez—who was then on his last year in law school.

That all changed in September 2015 after meeting Ramirez, 4 years her senior. Rumors about them going out kept on being reported, but nothing was ever confirmed.

December 2016

The worlds of business and politics were shaken when a member of a well-known political and business clan got involved in a rape charge. Congressman Ramirez, the father of Nathaniel Ramirez, denied all charges alleging the involvement of his son in a rape claim by Molly Esquivel.

According to unverified reports, both Nathaniel Ramirez and Molly Esquivel attended the same party hosted by a common friend. Pictures leading up to 11pm can prove the there was an interaction between the two. Then came afternoon of the next day when an official case of two counts of rape was filed against Ramirez.

September 2017

After more than a year of investigations and hearing, the court finally decided to acquit Ramirez from all charges of rape. It was said that the prosecution could not present clear evidence that would prove the guilt of the defense. Because of this, Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez walked free last September 23, 2017.

October 2017

A week after the announcement of acquittal, a shocking statement was given by the Esquivel family, confirming the death of Molly Esquivel. No specifics are released regarding the death of the only heiress of the Esquivel wealth.

Nathaniel Ramirez still remains silent about the sudden death of Molly Esquivel.

I. The Devil in Flesh

I. The Devil in Flesh

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Ninoy Aquino International Airport. Local time is 3:15pm and the temperature is 32 degree Celsius,” the captain announced. “On behalf of Singapore Airlines and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice stay!”

Getting my sunglass from my bag, I put it on. I waited until the seatbelt sign was off bago ako nagsimulang tumayo.

“Have a nice stay, Ma’am!” the stewardess said. I just politely nodded at her, aware that my stay here would be nothing but nice.

As soon as the plane landed, I connected my phone to the local wi-fi, and searched for the place of Molly’s interment. It wasn’t announced before since the Esquivels were known for their high regards to privacy—of course, I should know.

“I told you I should’ve sent someone to pick you,” David said.

“I told you, I’m fine,” I replied as I checked the plate number of the car that stopped in front of me. “Here’s my Uber ride. I can manage, David. Stop worrying. I’m not a kid.”

I heard him sigh. “I know… when will you be back?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Mallary…” he dragged. “You said you’d only go to say goodbye to Molly.”

I remained silent.

“She’s dead, Mall.”

I chose not to reply to that. Alam ko. She’s dead. I wasn’t in denial—well, I was for the first five minutes… Alam mo ’yun? Just last week, we were talking. She was telling me how she’s finally coping up… How she’s finally able to look at guy’s in their eyes.

She was getting better.

Then this.

Fuck.

But it’s already been a week since I was informed about Molly’s death. Tanggap ko na. But that didn’t mean that I would be just fine about it.

“I’ll just viber you when I’m at the hotel,” I said before quickly ending the call. David meant well, alam ko, but the last thing I needed right now was him preaching.

After almost an hour, I finally arrived at the hotel David booked for me. Mabilis akong nagcheck-in. I decided to take a quick nap, before deciding to order food. It was almost night time, anyway. Baka bukas na lang ako pumunta kay Molly.

It’s not like she’s gonna go anywhere, anyway.

Habang kumakain ako, mabilis kong binuksan iyong TV. The sound of the Filipino language automatically calmed my nerves. For the last few years, I’d been staying in New York—careful not to make any association with any Filipinos. But now, I willingly went here. It was like I was asking for trouble.

But I suddenly froze when Molly’s face flashed on the screen.

“Pang-apat na araw simula nang kumalat ang balita ng pagkamatay ng nag-iisang anak ng mga Esquivel, nananatili pa ring tahimik ang kampo ng mga Ramirez,” sabi ng reported, at saka mabilis na pinakita siya.

My hands began to tremble.

My chest began to tighten.

“Nathaniel Ramirez! Ano’ng masasabi mo na ikaw ang sinisisi sa pagkamatay ni Molly Esquivel?” sabi ng reporter habang mabilis na naglalakad pabalik sa sasakyan iyong lalaki. Guards were protecting him… as if he needed protection after what he did to Molly.

“Asshole,” I mumbled to myself as I watched him being shielded from being harassed. Bigla akong napa-tingin sa kamay ko. I was bleeding. Ni hindi ko man lang naramdaman.

Was this how Molly felt?

Hurting until she couldn’t feel pain anymore?

Hurting until she couldn’t hold on anymore?

Hurting… until she decided to just stop everything?

“Official statement of Nathaniel Ramirez regarding the death of Molly Esquivel will be released,” one of the members of the defense team of Ramirez said. “But one thing is for sure—Nathaniel did not have anything to do with Ms. Esquivel’s death,” she said before going inside the car, far from the flashing lights of the cameras.

“Official statement my ass,” I said before grabbing a tissue and wiping the blood the pooled on my hand. Mabilis kong pinatay iyong TV dahil alam ko na puro tungkol doon lang ang mapapanood ko. Molly’s death was dubbed as the case of the decade—it involving two of the largest and most powerful clans in the country.

And I had read all related articles regarding the death. What I needed were the official documents.

I grabbed my iPad, and scanned through my emails with Molly. Mabilis kong sinulat iyong address na binigay niya. Kumuha rin ako ng jacket at sunglass bago lumabas. I really didn’t need anyone knowing that I was here.

Andreas Tower

Mabilis akong bumaba, at dumiretso sa elevator. Good thing that the guard was preoccupied, so I wasn’t noticed. I made a quick survey of the surroundings, and evaded all the cameras. Umakyat ako sa 39th floor kung nasaan iyong unit ni Molly.

I sighed in relief when I realized that the police hadn’t gone here yet. But why was I even surprised? Justice in this country can be bought—if you know the right price.

Everything has a price.

Including life.

Kaya hindi ako naniniwala na nagpakamatay si Molly. Something was wrong. Something was off. She was getting better… hindi pwede ’yung bigla na lang ganoon.

Parang bigla na lang siyang kinuha.

Walang pasabi.

Biglaan.

Mabilis akong pumunta sa cabinet kung saan nakita ko si Molly na nilalagay niya iyong diary niya. Binuksan ko iyong, at mabilis kong nakita ang hinahanap ko.

Diary.

She’s still a kid… whose life was taken too early.

I could feel my chest tightening that I decided to take a seat. Huminga ako nang malalim nang maramdaman ko na nagtutubig iyong mga mata ko. Hindi ko nabilang kung ilang malalim na hinga ang ginawa ko bago ako kumalma.

Maybe David was right.

Maybe going here was a bad idea.

But if no one was going to find out what really happened, who will?

I refuse to let Molly’s death remain in vain.

With my hands trembling, I began to flip the pages. I didn’t read the first few pages; I didn’t want to read Molly’s thoughts… I only needed enough to know her real relations with that Nathaniel Ramirez. Because no matter how many articles I read, I couldn’t find anything that would connect the two of them except for the party and the fact that they used to attend the same university.

June 28, 2015

Just finished my draft for the thesis. Hopefully, last na ’to kasi nakakapagod na talaga.

I saw Nathan sa cafe. Again. Starting to think that he’s living here, too. Weird.

July 05, 2015

Saw him again! Seriously, dito rin siya nakatira? What a coincidence! Out of all the condo here in Manila, dito rin talaga? Weeeeeird.

July 08, 2015

Maybe I should change the name of this from Molly’s to Nathan’s since puro siya naman sinusulat ko. Ewan ko. He seems fascinating lang kasi. Anyway, earlier, I finally heard kung ano ang order niya.

Coffee with three shots of espresso and hazel nut syrup.

It’s the first time I’ve heard of such an order, but I tried it and it’s good naman. Though di ako nakatulog buong gabi! Nakapagmarathon tuloy ako bigla ng The Good Wife—I saw Nathan watching kasi… so I got curious. It was nice naman. Though really unbecoming of him to watch series? Or is it just me?

July 14, 2015

Good to talk with Mall again! Maybe I’ll visit NY after grad. I really missed that girl!

July 18, 2015

It’s weird, you know? I’ve been introduced to Nathan for at least five times… I kept on seeing him around the uni, too, but he never seemed to remember me. It’s sad. Ganoon ba ako ka-forgettable?

Anyway, today, we were introduced again. And I didn’t know what changed, but he FINALLY remembered my name. Molly Esquivel. Two words. Finally, naalala niya na.

What a day.

I suddenly closed the notebook when a tear fell from my eyes. This was fucking too much. It was like she was still alive… and I was hearing her talk.

September 22, 2015

My adviser said that my thesis is one of the selections for the best thesis in my year. Dad will be proud!

Anyway, saw Nathan again. I know. Sorry if I keep on mentioning him. Alam mo ’yun? He’s not my type, you know? He’s the usual bad boy every girl seems to like… but he’s smart, so I’d give him that. Hindi ko naman talaga siya gusto… pero kasi alam mo ’yun? Na-frustrate na lang siguro ako kasi ’di niya ako matandaan so baka na-challenge na lang ako na maalala niya ako.

Bottom line is, there’s a party. I’m invited, as usual, but for a change, I’m thinking of going… Nandun si Nathan. Maybe we can chat.

Bahala na. Pag-iisipan ko muna. Maybe I’ll ask Mall’s opinion since she’s the expert when it comes to guys.

Shit, Molly.

You should’ve asked me! And I would’ve told you to stay away from guys like him!

Biglang sumakit iyong dibdib ko dahil sa mga nababasa ko. I had only read two entries, but it felt too much for me already. The words seemed too real… Like she’s still alive… Like she’s still with me…

November 25, 2015

I’ve decided to come! Sad ’di ko nakausap si Mall kasi ’di siya sumasagot sa video call, e. Maybe she’s busy kaya ’di ko na inistorbo.

Anyway, hope I’ll have fun!

Then that was it.

I kept on flipping the pages, but there was nothing.

She just stopped.

Sinubukan ko na buksan bawat pahina, pero wala akong mabasa. Blangko lahat ng pahina.

But at the last page.

Fuck.

No one believes me.

I want to disappear.

What the fuck happened that night?

---

When I couldn’t handle what I read, mabilis akong bumaba. Dinala ko iyong diary ni Molly. Wala akong tiwala sa mga pulis. Kung nagawa nga nilang palayain iyong may kasalanan nito, bakit ako magtitiwala na may gagawin pa sila?

They drove Molly to death.

Pagbaba ko, didiretso na sana ako palabas nang hatakin ako ng mga paa ko papunta sa isang lugar. I knew this place. Ito ’yung sinasabi ni Molly sa diary niya.

‘Fuck, Mall. Don’t do this. It’s enough for this night,’ I told myself, but my feet kept on walking. My chest couldn’t take it anymore. The memory of Molly being here was driving me mad with anger… but I couldn’t stop. I knew I wouldn’t stop.

So, I went there.

Step by step.

“One coffee with three shots of espresso and hazel nut syrup for Nathan,” the bartender said.

And there he was.

The devil in flesh.

II. Time To Know The Prey

II. Time To Know The Prey

My body wanted to stay.

My eyes wanted to see.

But my mind told me that it wasn’t the right time. Yet.

Forcefully, I peeled my eyes from what I was seeing. Because there he was—Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez—in flesh… and laughing with his friends as if nothing happened.

As if someone didn’t just kill herself because of him.

My breathing was labored when I finally reached outside. Mabilis akong naghanap ng makakapitan bago ako nagsimulang tumawag kay David. I didn’t even know what time it was in New York, but I knew that I needed his help.

Here, I was helpless.

But not even being helpless could stop me from unearthing what truly happened with Molly.

“You said you’ll text me—” he said, but I immediately cut him off.

“I saw him, David…” I whispered… as if I feared that he’d hear me.

“Who?” he asked.

“Nathaniel,” I whispered, his name sounding bitter against my tongue.

“Holy fuck. Really?” he asked, masking a gasp.

I nodded before continuing. “I went to Molly’s secret unit to get her diary—”

“Jesus, Mall! You said you’ll only attend her funeral, not play Sherlock Holmes!” sigaw niya. “You know it’s dangerous! If he managed to get out unscathed, what makes you think that you’ll remain safe if he learns that—”

I cut him off. “I know,” I said. “But you didn’t see him laugh… like nothing happened.” My chest throbbed. Painfully. “Like Molly didn’t kill herself because of what he did.”

Silence enveloped us.

No one spoke.

He knew it was unfair; I knew it, too. But really, what could we do against the players who seemed to have everyone behind them? That not even law can touch them?

“I’m sorry, Mall,” he offered. “I’m really sorry… but she’s dead. And you’re alive. Don’t get yourself killed.”

I felt something rolling down my face. Mabilis kong pinunasan iyong luha. Hindi ’to panahon para maging mahina. I just met the enemy… and I knew that if I wanted to beat him at his own game, I needed to know how to play.

And damn, I didn’t even know how to get near him.

Not with all the fucking securities surrounding his every move.

“I need help,” I said.

“Mall…”

“David, please. I need you,” I pleaded before I got the answer that I needed.

---

An hour later, a meeting was set up between me and a certain Pamela Hernandez. Tahimik akong naghintay hanggang sa dumating siya. Pinilit ko si David na bigyan ako ng contact number, pero sabi niya, malalaman ko kapag dumating na si Pamela sa harap ko.

“Mallary?”

I looked up.

“Pamela?” I asked, to which she replied with a wink. She immediately pulled the chair, and took a seat. She also waived her hand to signal the waitress.

“Did you order already? I’m sorry, gutom na talaga ako,” sunud-sunod niyang sabi. “I’ll take one truffle pasta and a tall glass of lemon water. Ikaw? Kakain ka rin ba?”

I blinked a few times.

“No?” I replied, still weirded out. Was David serious? Ito ba talaga ’yung sinabi niya na makaka-tulong sa ’kin?

After placing her order, she reached for a glass of water, and downed it in one drink. She wiped the side of her lips with a tissue, before looking at me.

“So… what can I do for you?” she asked.

I blinked a few times. Again. Unsure of whether I’d trust her like what David told me.

Suddenly, she laughed. “Wait, David warned me na baka ma-weirduhan ka sa ’kin,” she said, shaking her head. “Anyway, I am Pamela Hernandez, I work at somewhere secret, and I promise I can help you with whatever you want,” she continued, winking again.

I looked at her, seizing her up. She had a red hair, a few piercing in her ears, and a few small tattoos on her arms. She was also really pale, which made me think that this secret job she had was something to do with investigating. She just had that vibe.

“Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez. What can you tell me about him?” I asked.

She chuckled, before reaching for an iPad, and handing it to me. “David already briefed me, so I already did a little digging earlier. Suit yourself, kain muna ako,” sabi niya bago nagsimulang kainin iyong dinala nung waitress.

Huminga muna ako nang malalim. A picture of the devil was right in front of me—fucking smiling like he didn’t have a care in the world.

Slowly, I browsed through the pages. Pamela surely did a thorough job—nandito kahit iyong mga bagay na gusto kong malaman pero hindi ko mahanap kahit ano’ng paghahanap ko sa Internet.

Name: Nathaniel Pierce Fariñas-Ramirez

Age: 24 years old

Address:

-Unit 391, Andreas Tower, San Juan, Manila (currently resides here)

-2211 Mckinley Road, Forbes Park, Makati City (family address in Manila)

-001 Laoag, Ilocos Norte (family address in Ilocos)

Education:

-British School Manila (Preparatory to Senior High)

-St. Claire’s Academy (Undergrad and Law School)

Past relationships:

-Sophie del Castillo (actress)

-Maureen Sanchez (model)

-Anthea Reyes (socialite)

-Molly Esquivel (socialite; unconfirmed)

Biglang nanginig iyong kamay ko nang mabasa ko iyong pangalan ni Molly. Napa-tingin ako kay Pamela nang abutan niya ako ng baso ng tubig.

“Kaya mo pa ba? Marami pa ’yan,” she said, giving an uncomfortable smile.

I nodded. “Yeah. I just need a second to breathe.”

“Okay,” she said. “Pero ’yung hinahanap mo, nasa page 4. Tatlo lang naman kasi ’yung pinupuntahan palagi ni Ramirez—condo niya, library sa SCA, at saka The Loft. “

I nodded, turning into page 4. Pamela’s really impressive. Nakalagay na rin dito ’yung address, paano makakapasok, at ibang restrictions. Saan ba siya nakilala ni David?

“What about his guards?” I asked. Kung alam niya pati schedule, bibilib na talaga ako sa kanya.

“Ah, that. As I have said, I only dug a little. Baka sa isang araw, masabi ko na sa ’yo. Iha-hack ko muna ’yung database ng security company na ginagamit nila. Pero chicken lang ’yun, for sure,” she said with a friendly smile.

Contented, I nodded.

“What’s your price?” I asked.

I was waiting for something—probably in hundreds of thousands or even millions—because what she was doing? It wasn’t a joke. She was playing fire with security. And she’d be in deep shit kapag nalaman ng mga Ramirez na nakikielam siya sa kanila.

“Let’s talk again when you’ve achieved what you came here for,” she replied.

“I might be dead before that happens,” I said.

She winked. “Then your death will be payment enough,” she said.

---

After talking to Pamela, dumiretso ako pabalik sa hotel. She gave me a hard copy of the files she had—she was adamant about not leaving digital footprints in the Internet. Ayaw niya rin ng tawag; kapag may kailangan ako, kailangan magkaharap kaming mag-uusap. She’s very meticulous.

Nagpahinga lang ako sandali bago nag-ayos. According to the schedule Pamela gave me, if Nathaniel didn’t change his habits, he’s scheduled to make his weekly appearance in The Loft.

I wore a skimpy black dress and put on a heavy makeup—ni hindi ko na makilala ’yung sarili ko nang tumingin ako sa salamin.

“I’m sorry, Molly,” I said as I stared at my reflection. “I tried to visit you yesterday… but I couldn’t. I just stood outside, wishing that I was stronger, so that I could see you,” I continued, and sighed. “I’ll try again tomorrow, okay? But for tonight, I’m gonna see someone.”

Kinuha ko ’yung binigay ni Pamela sa ’kin na listahan ng mga account na pwede kong gamitin. She said that if I would stalk Nathaniel, I better do it smoothly. I couldn’t just use the same account to book rides going to the places he frequents.

“Ma’am Cristine?” the Uber driver asked as I went in. I nodded. I was wearing a humungous sunglass to make sure that no one would see me. I also already mastered evading all cameras in the hotel. I never talked to anyone there—as per Pamela and David’s instructions.

It was already 11pm when I arrived at The Loft. As mentioned by Pamela, there would be a long line—courtesy of the women who dreams of hooking up with one of the guys who frequent this bar, then get pregnant, and change their lives forever.

Press were also swarming outside—probably hoping to get a glimpse of Nathaniel who was avoiding cameras like a plague.

Like I didn’t just see him enjoying coffee with his friends the other day. Life just goes on for that asshole.

Dumiretso ako sa likuran. As Pamela said, someone was already waiting to usher me in. The guy didn’t make eye contact—he just let me in.

Pagpasok ko sa bar, agad ko siyang nakita.

Fucking asshole.

Paano niya nagagawang uminom na parang wala lang nangyari?! Wala ba talaga siyang kaluluwa?!

Tahimik akong naupo sa isang sulok habang pinagmamasdan sila. Pamela was right; getting close was hard. Hindi basta-basta nakaka-lapit sa kanila dahil kahit mula sa kinauupuan ko, kitang-kita ko iyong mga bantay sa paligid nila.

Nathaniel was reading something on his phone, while his friends were talking and laughing. I’d bet on it that they’re assholes, too.

I silently watched for minutes, until two of his friends—Thomas and Harvey—went down. They were laughing loudly. Even under the strobe lights, I could see how red their cheeks were. Drunks.

Pero bigla akong nanigas nang maglakad sila papunta sa gawi ko. Mabilis kong kinuha iyong menu, at saka tinakip sa mukha ko.

“What the fuck is he reading again?”

“Not sure. Maybe one of his John Grisham shits again. Bayaan mo na. At least he’s not making a mess,” someone replied.

“Well, yeah… it’s been a tough week for him.”

“Good thing the bitch killed herself.”

What the fuck?

“Well, yeah. Thought she’ll die earlier. She dragged this mess for a year—gotta give her that,” someone said then they fucking laughed.

Pinikit ko iyong mga mata ko, at saka huminga nang malalim. I fisted my hand, and begged myself to calm down.

“Oh, well, she’s dead. All is well again.”

---

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nagawang umalis sa lugar na ’yun na hindi nagwawala. The way they talked about Molly… about her death… God, tao ba sila? Bakit sila ganoon?

Pinag-aralan ko nang mabuti iyong dalawang narinig ko kahapon.

Thomas Marius Aranza III, son of Thomas Marius Aranza Jr., a shipping magnate.

John Harvey Melendrez, son of Harold Melendrez and Josephine Melendrez—both known for their various charities here and in abroad.

Disgusting shits. I bet their souls are already burning in hell. If they couldn’t even respect Molly’s death, then at least not talk about it. Kadiri.

The next morning, maaga akong umalis. Today was Molly’s burial. I forced myself to get up… even though I didn’t want to.

I didn’t want to let her go.

I didn’t want to accept that she’s… gone.

Ganoon na lang.

Alam ko na wala na siya, pero ayokong maniwala. Kasi parang nung isang araw lang, kausap ko pa siya. Tapos biglang wala na lang? It felt like someone’s playing a sick joke on me.

Sinubukan ko.

Sinubukan ko na pumunta, pero hindi ko magawa. I knew I should go because I would regret not going… pero hindi ko magawa. Hindi ko kaya na magpaalam sa kanya.

I though I was gonna be sick.

“Ngayong araw naka-takda ang paglibing kay Molly Esquivel. Isang linggo matapos ang pagkamatay ng nag-iisang anak ng mga Esquivel, naglabas na ng opisyal na pahayag ang kampo ni Nathaniel Ramirez.

“Ayon sa nilabas na pahayag ng isa sa mga abogado, ‘Nathaniel Ramirez deeply feels for the sudden demise of Molly Esquivel. Like the family of the victim, he also wants justice for what happened to Molly. He will continue praying for Molly, and continue hoping that soon, justice will prevail and catch the real culprit behind this horrible event.’”

Oh, my God.

Was he fucking serious?!

Didn’t he just drink last night?! Nasaan doon ang deeply feel?

Ilang segundo akong naka-tingin sa TV—hindi alam ang gagawin. Ganito ba ang naramdaman ni Molly? Na wala kang magawa kahit alam mo na ikaw ’yung tama? Na sila ’yung nanakit?

I felt helpless.

Against them.

Against them who controlled the truth in this country.

Because with money, they can buy the press, the justice, everyone—truth will be what they say is.

God, I am so disgusted.

Pinatay ko na iyong TV. Hindi ko na kaya na makita pa iyong mukha niya—those strategically taken photos to show that Nathan’s grieving when in fact, he was living life as he used to. Nothing changed.

Dumiretso ako sa mall, at naghanap ng libro. Pagkatapos nun, dumiretso ako sa Andreas Tower at tahimik na naghintay sa pagdating ni Nathan.

I couldn’t come near him…

I should make him come to me.

I got myself a cup of Americano, and began to read A Time To Kill while waiting for my prey.

“Bingo,” I said when I saw him coming inside with his guards tailing him. “Coffee with three shots of espresso and hazel nut syrup,”

I mouthed as I saw him placing his usual order.

It wasn’t a busy morning.

There were plenty of vacant chairs.

But when he saw what I was reading…

“Can I?” he asked, pointing at the seat in front of me. I shrugged, not taking my eyes off the page—pretending to be immensely drawn to the novel, when in fact, every fiber of me was aware of his every movement.

Time to know the prey.

III. Up The Game

III . Up The Game

A solid minute passed already, and I still wasn’t paying him any attention. I learned the art of seduction during my stay in New York. Guys like him, they got a hoard of girls begging for even just a glance. The key to make him notice is to do the otherwise.

Cliché?

It’s cliché for a reason.

“Have you read Grisham’s latest?” he asked after minutes of not getting any reaction from me. Slowly, I looked at him, with my forehead creased.

No, you won’t see me gawking, asshole.

“Yes,” I simply said.

“What can you say?” he asked, looking straight into my eyes.

‘Kalma, Mall,’ I told myself as I fought the urge to roll my eyes. This fucking guy—ngayon ang libing ni Molly pero nagawa pang lumandi sa coffee shop. He seriously needed to reevaluate his priorities in life.

“Haven’t finished yet,” I replied, now looking at him.

“Don’t,” he said, wrinkling his nose. “It’s awful—like he forgot how to write.”

Binaba ko iyong binabasa mo. “Well, that’s for me to decide, don’t you think?” sabi ko gamit ang masungit na tono pero naka-ngiti ako.

God.

Guys like him—it’s just so easy to get their attention. Always go against what they want or what they say.

“Suit yourself,” he said, shrugging but with a small smile on her face. “You live here, too?”

“Staying with a friend,” I replied.

He looked at me like he was studying my face. I was not as pretty as Molly—that girl looked like she was porcelain doll. My features were sharper than her, and I cut my hair short when I learned about… what happened to her.

But even then, I knew Nathan liked what he saw.

“I’m Pierce,” he introduced himself. I almost scoffed. As if using his second name would prevent me from knowing shits he’s involved in.

“Ary,” I said.

“So, Ary, how’d you like A Time To Kill so far?” he asked, crossing his legs, and staring into my eyes.

---

I stomached talking to the devil for a good hour. He had a lot to say about Grisham’s book. Good thing I already did my assignment before buying the book. Marami akong binasa na article tungkol kay John Grisham mismo pati na sa librong binabasa ko.

And Pierce was nothing short of impressed.

In fact, the next day, I saw him again. I was reading The Firm that time, and we chatted up again. He’s a lawyer, so I was pretty sure that he liked debating. And I held on my ground for as long as I could.

The third day, I was there again, reading The Pelican Brief.

“That’s actually one of my favorite books of him,” he said while we were both sitting in silence. He was reading some law book while I was reading another one of Grisham’s.

“Have you seen the movie?” tanong niya ulit.

I shook my head. “I’m trying to finish all the books first.”

Tinignan niya ako nang mabuti na parang may gusto siyang sabihin, pero iniisip niya pa kung sasabihin nga niya. “The movies are good, actually.” Iyon na lang ang sinabi niya bago siya bumalik sa binabasa niya.

On the fourth day, I did not go. I went to meet Pamela because she said that she already got the profiles and schedule of Nathan’s bodyguards.

“Pwede naman tayo na bukas magkita,” she said, shrugging. I was pretty sure that David told her to check up on me kaya alam niya kung saan-saan ako pumupunta. Siya rin kasi ’yung nagbibigay ng accounts na ginagamit ko sa Uber kapag umaalis ako. Sigurado ako na alam niya na sa Andreas Tower ako pumupunta nitong mga nakaraang araw.

“I’m free today.”

“Really,” she said, resting her hand under her chin. “Walang coffee date with Nathan today?”

I eyed her. “Are you stalking me?”

She shrugged. “Just following instructions, Ary. “

Oh, my god, David! Ilang taon na ba ako sa tingin niya? I was 22, not 12!

“So, anyway, here are the profiles of Nathan’s five guards. I should warn you that they’re all ex-military and highly trained. Meron din silang private army sa Ilocos Norte. Pati mga kaibigan ni Nathan, may sariling guards,” she said as I began to flip over the pages. The faces were familiar dahil palagi naman silang naka-buntot kay Nathan tuwing pumupunta siya sa coffee shop. Wala na rin naman akong problema dahil si Nathan na ang mismong lumalapit sa ’kin.

“What about their houses?” I asked, putting down the profiles.

“Ah, that,” Pamela said, bringing out another folder from her bag. “I’ve studied the security in Andreas Tower. As you know, via passcode ang security ng bawat unit. But with Nathan’s unit, it’s a combination of passcode and biometrics.”

My jaw fell.

“What?”

Pamela shrugged. “I’m guessing he’s keeping something for him to be that guarded with his unit.”

Shit.

Nandun kaya ’yung kailangan ko para malaman kung ano ang nangyari kay Molly nung gabing ’yun? Pero paano ako papasok ’dun? Pakikipag-usap pa lang kay Nathan, pakiramdam ko na ay masusuka ako…

Pagkatapos kong kausapin si Pamela, mabilis akong umuwi para maghanap ng paraan. Of course I couldn’t just come inside his unit. We’re not that close yet para papasukin niya ako ’dun. And I wasn’t crazy enough to just break-in. Hindi naman ako tanga.

I needed to make him invite me.

Like how I made him see me.

I needed to play him.

---

The next morning, I was back to my usual routine. Dumating ako na may bitbit na libro— The Client. But something was different this morning…

“Good morning?” I greeted as I saw Nathan sitting by my usual spot. Doon ako umupo nung unang beses na pumunta ako sa coffee shop dahil tamang-tama iyong pwesto para makita ko kapag papasok na siya. Later on, I figured I should always sit there.

It was as if Nathan’s face lighted up upon seeing me, but of course he was quick to hide it.

“That’s my spot, I believe,” I pointed out. As usual, maraming bakanteng upuan pero pinipili niyang tumabi sa akin.

“Well, since you didn’t come yesterday, I thought—”

I cut him off. “Were you waiting for me?”

I thought he was going to deny it. After all, it was his game that we’re playing. I still needed to make him trust me before we proceed to play my game.

“What if I was?”

Was this how he played Molly? Acting suave, being smooth?

I shrugged. “Then sorry for making you wait for nothing, I guess?” I said in the most casual way. I knew I was making him frustrated for playing hard to get, but this was really how you make guys like him want you so bad that they’d bend their rules just to get a taste.

Iiwanan ko sana iyong libro ko sa lamesa para umorder nang sabihin ni Nathan na siya na iyong bibili ng kape ko.

“Americano, right?” he asked.

I wrinkled my nose. “Nah. Surprise me,” I replied.

Classical conditioning.

Never fails.

A few minutes later, he returned with two cups in his hand. I took a sip, and knew that he gave me his order. I should know. For the few days that I was studying him, I tried the very same order that Molly kept on mentioning in her diary.

“So… you haven’t seen any Grisham movies, right?”

Tinignan ko siya. “Yeah, why?”

“I have copies.”

I arched a brow. “Are you asking me out?”

What did it take? Four days?

“What if I am? Will you say yes?” he asked, looking me in the eyes. He’s good looking, I’d admit, but every time I’d look at his face, I always fought this urge to barf all over.

He’s rotted deep within, and that’s all I see whenever I look at his stupid face.

“What will we watch… if I say yes?”

‘Play his game, Mall. For Molly.’

“A Time To Kill, The Pelican Brief, and The Firm—my top three choices,” he said. “You’ve read them all, right? I don’t want to spoil anything for you.”

I wanted to barf when he tried to sound caring.

Wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“Alright. It’s a date, then,” I replied, gaining a smile from him in return.

He’s so fucking easy.

---

We decided to watch the movie three days from the day I agreed. I figured I needed to make him crave for my presence, so I faked an important event that I needed to go to.

Truth was, I was researching on his past girlfriends to know his type. Well, all of them are beautiful, to say the least. They all came from good families. They are all fucking smart—almost all of them graduated top of their class, including the actress.

I gotta hand it to Nathan—he had a good taste… if only he had morals to accompany that.

After my thorough research—though definitely not as good as Pamela’s—I decided to swing by the mall to pick up clothes. Whatever his past girlfriends like to wear, I decided to wear the opposite.

All his girlfriends were prim and proper. They all wear pretty dresses and gowns and heels. Their hair was always done to perfection.

In the end, I chose to wear fitted black pants and white shirt with low neckline. I also put my hair up in a messy bun since I notice Nathan staring at my neck all the freaking time—it’s like he has no shame.

Came Saturday night, I was arrived at the coffee shop. Hindi sinabi ni Nathan kung saan kami manonood, but I was hoping against all odds na sa unit niya kami manood.

I needed to get inside that fucking unit. Curiosity was killing me already! Even Pamela couldn’t tell me what’s inside that unit that needed heavy guarding!

“Hey,” Nathan said upon seeing me.

“Sorry, traffic,” I said.

“I thought you’re staying with—”

Fuck.

Sinabi ko nga pala sa kanya na sa unit.

“I… came from an event,” I said, then realized that I was wearing just pants and white shirt! Nathan looked confused for a second, but I quickly landed on my feet. “So, where are we going?” mabilis kong tanong sa kanya para hindi niya na isipin pa iyong kasinungalingan ko.

“There are two choices,” sabi niya habang naglalakad kami. “One, there’s a place I discovered where we can watch movies… but I was advised not to go anywhere public,” sabi niya na naka-tingin nang mabuti sa reaksyon ko.

“Why? Artista ka ba or something?”

Bigla siyang natawa. “No, no,” sabi niya. “Don’t you watch news?”

Suddenly, my insides felt like being clenched.

Fuck.

“N-no,” I replied, trying to hold it all in.

Nathan looked like he’s the victim—his face sullen all of a sudden. I had this urge to slap him in the face—to make him feel even just a fucking inkling of what he made me feel when he pushed Molly to do what she did.

“Well…” sabi niya habang naka-tingin sa akin. Like he was asking for sympathy when he’s the one who’s still breathing, and Molly’s the one who’s buried six feet deep. “I was wrongly accused in a case. It’s pretty controversial, so my lawyers advised me to avoid the public eye for a while.”

Wrongly accused.

God.

He’s so disgusting.

“Oh,” was all I managed to say after exerting an effort to hide my disdain.

“But if you want to go there, I can always bend the rule,” he said with a boyish smile. Paano niya nagagawang ngumiti kahit alam niya na may buhay na nawala dahil sa ginawa niya? Paano niya nagagawang mabuhay ng normal kahit na alam niya na may mga tao na nawalan ng mahal sa buhay dahil sa kanya?

“Wag na,” I replied, slowly taking breaths. “Where’s the other option?”

He stared.

“In my condo… though I don’t want you getting the wrong idea,” he quickly explained.

“Alright,” I replied. It’s time to up my game.

IV. Money talks; Power Silences

IV.

Money talks; Power Silences

“Are you sure?” Nathan asked, a little surprised that I agreed to come to his place.

I eyed him. “Why? Ayaw mo ba?”

“No, no,” he said, waiving his hands. “Just a little surprised, that’s all,” he continued. There was a hint of happiness on his face, but I refused to think that he’s capable of anything other than being rotten.

“I’m not worried, Pierce. I can take care of myself,” I said with a lingering smile. All of his exes were practically princesses with guards tailing their every movement. Well, I’m different. Bata pa lang ako, tinuruan na ako na dapat marunong akong protektahan ang sarili ko. Otherwise, I wouldn’t last in this world.

While on our way up, he asked me what I preferred to eat while watching movies. He’s very attentive, but even though he’s been nothing but pleasant since our meeting, tuwing tinitignan ko siya, pagkamatay ni Molly ang palagi kong naaala.

“Pizza?” he asked.

“It’s fine.”

“Burger?” he asked again.

“Anything’s fine, really. I’m not picky when it comes to food,” I said, smiling. All of his past girlfriends were high maintenance—coming from the fact that they all hailed from prominent families. Pretty sure naninibago si Nathan sa akin na okay lang kahit ano.

What he’s used to, I’d go the other way. That’s the way to reel him in.

When we stopped by the 39th floor, agad kong nakita iyong unit niya. Ilang beses akong tumitingin doon—wondering how I’d be able to get in. And now, he’s the one who’s willing to let me in.

“Let me,” he said, and then stood in front of the door and began to punch in the code. Hindi ko alam kung sinadya niya ba na pumwesto sa lugar kung saan hindi ko talaga nakikita kung ano iyong nilalagay niya. I couldn’t act too obviously na tinitignan ko kung ano ang nilalagay. But I leaned a little, and saw that the last two digits were 09.

I didn’t know if that would help much, pero hindi naman pwede na magpahalata ako masyado.

“Let’s go,” he said when the door opened after placing his thumb in front of the scanner. Seriously, how the fuck would I be able to get inside?

Pagpasok ko, agad kong pinaikot iyong mata ko. His unit was that of a typical bachelor pad. It’s black with white accents. Walang masyadong naka-lagay sa dingding. But he had a tall shelf filled with law books.

“Thought I’d see a shelf dedicated to Grisham alone,” I commented while I pretended to scan his law books.

He laughed, a little. “Well, yeah. Novels are inside my room. I prefer to read to fall asleep,” he said.

“Too bad…” I trailed.

“Take a seat first. I’ll just order,” sabi niya.

Naka-tayo siya habang naka-talikod sa akin. I was tempted to make a run to his room, but decided against it. It was the first time he invited me, and I didn’t want it to be my last. Kung mamalasin ako na hindi ko malalaman iyong password niya, his invites were the only way para maka-pasok ako.

After placing his order, bumalik na siya na may hawak na bowl ng popcorn.

“Plain and cheese—didn’t know what you prefer,” he said.

“I prefer the plain one,” I replied, then got the bowl from his hand. I grabbed a handful, and stuffed it in my mouth. I could feel him watching my every movement—like he was enticed with everything I do.

“At least be subtle when staring,” I kidded.

He let out a nervous laugh. “You’re just so fascinating,” sabi niya.

“Are you usually this fast?” tanong ko. “We just met a few days ago—”

“Today’s the 9th day, actually.”

My jaw fell. “Oh.”

“You’re just different from all the girl’s I’ve met,” he said, not breaking the contact between our eyes. This guy. He really knows how to deal with girls. Ganito rin ba ang ginawa niya kay Molly? Did he reel her in, also? Staring into her eyes? Saying things like this?

Then push her to the edge?

“Why? Because I didn’t gawk when I first saw you?”

He laughed. “Well, yeah, that was refreshing… but not that.”

I adjusted in my seat, and stared back at him with the same intensity. I saw him gulping, his Adam’s apple moving up and down as he stared at my face.

“Then what?” I asked, then saw him staring at my lips as they moved to speak.

God, was he going to kiss me?

How do I stop him?

I wasn’t that desperate to let someone like him kiss me!

Fuck.

“Wait,” sabi niya at saka biglang tumayo nang tumunog iyong doorbell. I smiled at him, but truth was, I was fucking relieved! Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko kung hinalikan niya ako! I couldn’t push him away—that would be against everything I’d shown him so far… but I also couldn’t let him just fucking kiss me!

I fixed myself, then looked at the door and saw Nathan talking to someone. It seemed like he was trying to block the view, pero kita ko pa rin naman na lalaki iyong kausap niya. The guy was wearing Italian loafers, and about the same height as Nathan.

Who could that be?

Thomas Marius Aranza III?

John Harvey Melendrez?

Andres Alcantara?

Or Christian Blake Valderrama?

After a few seconds, Nathan closed the door behind him. He looked tensed—he was sweating a little. It was weird because his entire unit was air-conditioned. Pati hallway nitong tower, centralized.

Curiouser and curiouser.

“Who was that?” nagawa kong itanong kahit na alam ko hindi ko dapat itanong. Curiosity got the best of me. I needed to know kung isa iyon sa mga kaibigan niya.

The five bastards who were last seen with Molly.

“Workmate,” he simply replied. It was so obvious that he was lying. He reached for a glass of water, and downed it in a gulp. Sino kaya iyong kausap niya para ganito ang reaksyon niya?

“Speaking of work, ano’ng trabaho mo?” I asked.

I needed to reel him in. Hindi sapat na gusto niya lang ako—I needed him to want me so bad that he’d never suspect that I had other motives.

I needed to find evidence that would prove his unequivocal guilt with Molly’s allegations.

I wouldn’t let Molly’s death be in vain.

Victims shouldn’t be shamed to silence. They never asked for it. The perpetrators should be the one to burn in fucking hell.

“I’m a lawyer,” he answered.

“That’s nice,” I replied.

The side of his lips rose. “Nice?”

I nodded. “Yeah, why? Gusto mo ba pumalakpak ako?”

Bigla siyang natawa. “No. It’s just weird. Not the usual reaction I get when girls hear what my job is.”

I stared at him, and smiled a little. “Those are girls, and I’m not a girl.”

And also, you’re a horrible piece of shit.

---

We tried to watch A Time To Kill, but in the middle of watching, Nathan began throwing questions.

“Akala ko ba manonood tayo?” I asked. I was enjoying the movie, actually.

“Well, yeah… but I’m more curious. What do you do for a living?” he asked.

“I’m in between jobs,” I said, shrugging. “I used to take photos for NatGeo, but I’m considering other jobs.”

“That’s cool,” he replied, seeming engrossed. “Why did you decide to become a lawyer?” I asked back. Figured I should use this opportunity to ask about him. I should ease in gently before asking the pertinent questions.

“I like studying the law,” he said.

“Are you practicing now? Considering you need to lie low?” I asked, seemingly not to interested in what his answer would be. I even reached for a slice of pizza as I waited for his answer.

“Nah,” he said. “I’m on vacation right now.”

“That sucks,” I commented.

“It’s fine. It means more time,” he said while looking at me. I decided to ignore that comment, and looked at the screen again. Nathan kept on asking me questions while I was trying to watch the movie.

“Pierce,” I called his name. It’s weird. I’d rather he introduced himself as Nathan.

“Hmm?”

“CR,” I said. “Drank too much iced tea.”

I purposely drank too much para hindi siya magtaka kapag sinabi ko na pupunta akong CR. Kanina ko pa tinitignan iyong buong unit niya. His unit’s at the same floor as Molly’s. And if the floor plan was the same, nasa kwarto rin iyong CR.

Tumayo si Nathan at sumunod ako sa kanya.

Bingo.

“There,” sabi niya habang tinuturo iyong pinto. Alam ko na hindi niya ako iiwan mag-isa sa kwarto niya. Nathan may act harmless in front of me, but it didn’t change the fact that he’s a rapist and a killer. No matter how much he tries to hide the stink, he’s still rotten on the inside.

My eyes quickly roamed around his room. There were pictures of his friends—wala kahit isa sa pamilya niya. True enough, there was a shelf for novels alone. May diploma din siya pero iyong sa law school lang.

Interesting.

“I’m sorry, I need to leave,” I said.

“Already?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Forgot I have commitment today,” I replied, and quickly grabbed my bag. Naglakad ako palapit sa pinto, but not before making a quick scan of everything.

“Do you need me to—”

“I can handle myself,” I cut him off. “I’ll see you when I see you.”

Nagsimula akong maglakad, pero ramdam ko pa rin na naka-tingin siya sa akin. After a few steps, I stopped and turned around.

“I had fun,” I said with a smile. I knew he’d be thinking about me tonight.

---

Two days after, I was finally finished with the sketch. Sinabi ko kay Pamela na magkita kami dahil kailangan niya akong tulungan.

“So… what do you want me to do with this?” tanong niya nang iabot ko sa kanya iyong layout ng unit ni Nathan. I was no expert in drawing, but I did the best that I could to replicate the unit as I saw it.

“That’s the layout of his unit,” I began. “Based on my observation, when Nathan goes to the bathroom, it takes him exactly 1 minute and 50 seconds before he goes back.”

“That’s… an odd observation, Mallary,” Pamela said.

I ignored her comment. “Kapag naman pupunta siya sa kitchen para kumuha ng tubig, it takes him 55 seconds.”

“So, ano’ng point mo?”

“My point is, based on the layout and if I’m right, nasa drawer sa kwarto niya ang kung anuman ang hinahanap ko,” I said and then pointed out at the drawer on the side of Nathan’s room. I took a quick glance, and it was locked. “I need 10 seconds to get into his room, and a minute to unlock that drawer.”

“Whoah, Mallary. Seryoso ka ba?”

“Mukha bang joke lang, Pamela?” I sarcastically said.

“I mean, ano’ng gagawin mo kung makita mo nga ’yung hinahanap mo?”

“I’ll give it to the police. That’s the evidence they say they’re looking for,” I said.

She laughed. “I forgot na sa New York ka nga pala,” she said, laughing so bad her eyes watered a little. I felt offended with her reaction—like she wasn’t taking me seriously.

“In this country, the law is blind and justice is silent when you’re without money. Money talks; power silences. That’s the rule you need to know before digging your grave.”

Bigla akong natahimik.

“What? Ayaw mo na?” she asked.

I clenched my jaw.

“I’m not discouraging you, Mallary. I’m telling you to play wiser,” she said, and then pointed at the sketch I made. “If you really wanna play, here’s what you should do,” she said, and then told me things.

V. How Fast We Forget

V. How Fast We Forget

And the charade continued.

“Hi,” Nathan said, sitting on the seat across me. “Sorry, got caught in traffic.”

“No problem,” I replied. Binaba ko iyong binabasa ko. I was currently reading James Patterson’s Along Came A Spider. Nathan suggested that I mix up my reading list para naman daw may variety. He even bought the books, and gave them to me as a gift.

“I already ordered for you. Thought baka gutom ka na pagdating mo,” I said. The past few days, I tried to be more affectionate towards him. Studying Nathan, the more I showed affection, the more he clung on to me.

“Thanks,” he replied as he put his brief case on the adjacent chair.

A month passed.

A fucking month with no development whatsoever. David was already begging me to come back to New York because he was sure like all the other cases, Molly’s death would soon be forgotten, too.

Kasi ganoon naman daw talaga. We all like to pretend that we care… but as soon as another event tickles our attention, we quickly lose interest.

Unlike like all else, justice remains a fantasy.

“How’s the first day?” tanong ko sa kanya. Walang pagbabago sa kaso ni Molly. Everyone seems to believe that Nathan was innocent—but the more I spent time with him, the more I believed that he was nowhere near innocent.

All those times he spent with his friends? I knew something was fucking off.

Nathan was nowhere secretive—that I learned. He let me roam around his unit like I owned it. Kapag nagtatanong ako tungkol sa pamilya niya, sinasagot niya. I checked all his answers, and they all checked out.

But there’s one thing he never wanted to discuss with me.

His friends.

“Fine,” he replied. “How about you? Find anything interesting?” tanong niya sa akin.

Since I figured that I’d be staying, I made a quick backstory about my life. Of course, tinulungan ako ni Pamela. We made a life about Ary Fuentes, the NatGeo photographer. I didn’t know how she did it, but the articles on the Internet all seemed legit.

“Nothing definitive yet,” I said. “But I may accept some magazine gig,” sabi ko sa kanya. “So… nothing interesting sa work mo?”

Nathan just shrugged, which frustrated me a bit. Of course, I wanted to know more about his work! Hanggang ngayon kasi, wala pa rin akong makuha na kahit ano sa mga kaibigan niya. Sa ilang beses na pagpunta ko sa unit niya, ni minsan, hindi ko na ulit naabutan kahit sino. It felt like he purposely told them to avoid going to his condo.

Which just made me more curious than ever.

What was it with them na ayaw niyang makita ko? It just didn’t add up. Base sa mga litrato sa kwarto niya, he valued his friends—probably more than his family. But for some weird reasons, ayaw niya na magtagpo kami.

Yeah. He’s definitely hiding something.

“Just the usual people looking… nothing worth mentioning,” he said. I wanted to shake my head. He really just… forgot about Molly. He just… went on with his life.

And that’s the reason why even though I see good things about him, one bad trumps them all out.

When the food arrived, Nathan excused himself to go to the washroom. Usually, he brings his phone with him wherever he goes kaya hindi ko pa nagagawa iyong matagal ng pinapagawa sa akin ni Pamela.

But fuck. The stress of his first day probably made him slip off. Finally.

I quickly looked around, then realized that everyone’s busy with their own businesses. Mabilis kong kinuha iyong cellphone ni Nathan, at saka nilagay sa tabi ng simcard iyong binigay sa akin ni Pamela. My hands were freaking shaking as I feared that he’d emerge any second from now.

But this was now or never. I knew he’d never make this mistake again. Nathan’s crazy organized with his things. Kaya nga isang buwan na, pero ngayon lang niya naiwan iyong cellphone niya.

“You okay?” he asked upon return. I just realized that I sweated a little.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, and we proceeded to eat.

---

It was a little after 10 nang matapos kami. I told him I needed to go somewhere else. Usually, he’d tell me that he’d accompany me, pero dahil bumalik na siya sa trabaho, he just told me to text him kapag nakarating na ako.

“So… after a month,” Pamela said, rolling her eyes. “Took you long enough.”

“Para saan ba ’yun?” I asked her. She brought out her freaky laptop, at saka may binigay sa akin na phone.

“That’s Nathan’s phone’s clone,” she said.

“Nathan’s what?” I asked, a little confused. Ang naaalala ko lang dati, sabi niya, ingatan ko raw iyong chip na ibibigay niya sa akin. And to carefully plant it in Nathan’s phone.

“The chip I gave you, it copies all the information and activity of Nathan’s phone,” she explained. My jaw just fucking dropped. “That way, hindi ka na mahihirapan na silipin ’yung phone niya. We both know how hopeless you are at spying,” she continued, rolling her eyes in the process.

Mabilis kong binuksan iyong phone. Pamela was busy eating—she always freaking eats whenever we meet. And she always makes me pay.

First, I checked his inbox. Unang nakita ko na kaunti lang ang messages niya. I first checked the thread of Tommy— pretty sure this was Thomas Marius Aranza III—the fucking asshole who was thankful that Molly killed herself.

Tommy:

Where are you?

10pm.

Fucker, galit na si undress

Harvey:

Usual

Usual

The Loft

Vice:

Now.

No late.

Lie low.

Kunut-noo kong binasa lahat ng messages sa phone ni Nathan, pero wala akong maintindihan. All messages were days apart, and no conversation ever occurred.

“Clever,” Pamela said after I showed him the thread. ’Di ko kasi talaga maintindihan.

“I can’t understand,” I replied.

“Told you we’re messing with the wrong people. Hindi sila nag-uusap ng kahit ano gamit ang text—because that’s just stupid. You see kapag usual ang sinasabi nila? It probably means na magkikita sila sa usual place. I’d bet that that’s their hideout. Doon siguro nakatago ’yung hinahanap mo na makakapagdiin sa kanila sa kaso ni Molly.”

Holy fuck.

Seriously?

“Wala bang tracker ’yung nilagay ko?” I asked, desperate to know where this hideout was.

“Unfortunately, wala,” she said. My face fell. “But—”

“I can’t do that again. It almost gave me a heart attack!” sabi ko sa kanya. Na-swertehan ko lang na nalimutan ni Nathan iyong phone niya. I knew that would never happen again. Mas lalo na ngayon na nasa phone pala niya lahat ng ginagawa nila ng mga kaibigan niya.

Pamela shrugged. “Suit yourself,” she said before continuing to eat.

Frustrated, I began to look at his gallery. Walang masyadong naka-lagay, just a few pictures of books in bookstores. Ni wala pang 100 iyong laman ng gallery niya—not even pictures of his friends.

Seriously.

Nathan suddenly seemed more interesting than ever. It felt like he’s hiding more than he’s showing me. Maybe I just became too comfortable thinking that he was an easy subject.

---

The next day, nagkita ulit kami ni Nathan for dinner. I was itching to ask him about his friends, but I didn’t know how to proceed without drawing unwanted attention from him.

“Won’t you answer that?” tanong ko nang biglang magvibrate iyong phone niya. Tommy— the caller ID said.

“Later,” he said, then quickly declined the call.

“Who was that?” I asked, feigning disinterest.

“A friend.”

I put down the fork I was holding, then looked at him. “Speaking of friends… when will you introduce me?” I asked, eyeing him as if everything was fucking casual.

I saw his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. I knew it. Something was up with his friends.

“Or… maybe they don’t know about me?” I asked, being a bit playful to loosen him up a bit.

“That’s crazy,” he said. “They do know.”

“Then introduce me,” I said, sounding adamant.

But as quickly as he showed his nerve, the quicker he was to make his face void of any useful expression once again.

“Sure,” he said. “I’ll ask them.” I shrugged, but silently, I wished he’d introduce me. I was already dying from curiosity.

---

Later on to the night, biglang nagvibrate ulit iyong phone ni Nathan. I quickly averted my eyes, so that he’d check his phone. Pa-simple ko ring kinuha iyong hawak ko na phone at saka tinignan kung ano iyong natanggap niya.

Tommy:

Usual.

Now.

“Ary,” Nathan said. I almost jumped from my seat when he called me. “Sorry to cut our dinner short. Work calls.”

“Sure,” I said. “I’ll probably stay here for a while,” sabi ko pa. Nagsorry si Nathan dahil maiiwan niya ako. Nang makaalis na siya, mabilis akong nagbayad, at saka sinundan siya.

I hailed a cab, and told the driver to follow Nathan’s car. I noticed that he was driving himself. Usually, his driver drives for him. Also, his hoard of guards wasn’t following him.

God, this was really sketchy of him.

“Holy fuck,” I whispered to myself. “I’m fucking nervous.”

After almost an hour, we stopped by a gated property. We were a few meters away from the gate, as I didn’t want them to notice a fucking taxi in the middle of nowhere.

We stayed for a few good minutes before telling the driver to drop me off in a coffee shop. I sent a quick text to Pamela, telling her to come meet me.

“Why?” she asked, yawning.

“I followed Nathan. Alam ko na kung saan ’yung hideout nila.”

“Okay?”

“That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for,” I told her.

She yawned again. “Sorry, kakagising ko pa lang. Wala talaga akong kwenta pag bagong gising,” sabi niya, at saka inabot iyong tasa ng kape. “Saan pala ’tong hideout nila? Ano’ng klaseng security? Mukha bang sobrang hirap pasukin?” she asked.

“I wasn’t sure about the exact address, but I know how to get there,” I told her. “Mataas iyong gate. Pretty sure I saw at least 3 guard dogs. May camera din sa gate. Medyo malayo mula sa gate papunta doon sa parang cabin.”

It was already pretty dark when I arrived there. Kung medyo maliwanag, I could’ve made a sketch. But it was better than nothing. At least now, alam ko na kung saan pumupunta si Nathan kapag nawawala na lang siya bigla. Work call my ass.

“Cabin, you say?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah… which was pretty weird. I was sure that we’re still in the city, so I found it weird to see a cabin in the middle of the city.”

Pamela took a quick sip of her coffee, before getting her freaky laptop. Then she showed me an affidavit.

“Where… did you get this?” I asked, my heart beating wildly as I stared at a scanned copy of Molly’s affidavit. It was dated August 1, 2015.

She shrugged. “Cyber security of NBI is a big joke.”

REPUBLIC OF THE PHILIPPINES

DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE

NATIONAL PROSECUTION SERVICE

OFFICE OF THE CITY PROSECUTOR

MAKATI CITY

Molly Esquivel

Complainant

vs. I.S. No. 4527197

For: Rape

Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez

Respondent.

x—————————————————————————————–x

COMPLAINT-AFFIDAVIT

I, Molly Tan Esquivel, Filipino, of legal age, and with residence at No. 67 Mckinley Hill, Forbes Park, Makati City, after having been duly sworn in accordance with law, hereby depose and state that:

(1)

This complaint-affidavit is being filed to charge Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez a.k.a “Nathan”, Filipino, of legal age, and with residence at 2211 Mckinley Road, Forbes Park, Makati City, of the crime of Rape under Article (Art.) 266 of the Revised Penal Code (RPC), committed as follows:

(a)

On 25th of November 2015, at around 9:00 in the evening, I was attending a party hosted by Mia del Castillo at Shangri-La, Makati.

(b)

There, I met a few people whom I knew from school. At around 11pm, I saw Nathan. We began to talk when his friend, Andres, suddenly approached us.

Biglang natigil iyong pagbabasa ko nang magsalita si Pamela.

“Skip ka na sa letter g. Mahaba pa ’yan. Maiinis ka lang,” she advised. Dumiretso na ako sa sinabi niya, but I promised that I’d study this entire thing—notwithstanding the fact that I was annoyed. All this time, meron pala siyang kopya nito! Hindi man lang sinabi sa ’kin!

(g)

I was blindfolded. I didn’t know where I was, but I knew I was in a cabin. It smelled like resin everywhere, like our vacation house in Tagaytay… and there were barks of dogs everywhere.

Hindi ako maka-hinga.

Holy fuck. 

The cabin… 

Shit.

“Kaya mo pa?” Pamela asked.

“I don’t know,” I answered. Reading about this… it felt fucking vivid. Like I was there, too. Like I could feel her fear.

Only in this case, I was only reading about the doom that was impending to happen.

Nagulat ako nang biglang kunin sa akin ni Pamela iyong laptop niya. “That’s enough for this night,” she said.

“I wasn’t finished!”

“You’ll read more. Just not tonight. I promise, the next paragraphs would wreck you. Trust me,” she said, her face softened a bit.

“I can take it,” I said, tilting my chin up.

“No, not tonight,” she pressed.

“I can—”

“She describes how she was raped, Mallary. You think you can handle that?”

VI. Dura lex sed lex

VI . Dura lex sed lex

“I can,” I foolishly said, even though I knew myself that reading about that would break me in ways I couldn’t even imagine.

Hearing about it would be devastating.

But to experience it the way Molly did? It would destroy me.

In some ways… I understood why she gave up. Just like that.

“Fine,” she said. “Suit yourself. I had nightmares myself when I read that. Hindi ko pa siya kilala niyan. Pano ka pa kaya?” she continued, while handing over the laptop.

Unti-unting lumalim ang paghinga ko.

Ito na ba ’yun?

’Yung dahilan kung bakit bumalik ako dito? Para malaman kung ano ang nangyari sa kanya? Para malaman kung sino ang may kasalanan?

(h) I was made to sit down. For a few minutes, I think. I really couldn’t remember. My head was still aching from what they made me drink.

(i) After a while, I heard voices again. They were coming from another room. The voices were muffled. Some people were laughing; they sounded drunk. There was a girl… I heard her crying.

(j) Then shouting. Again. And crying. Again. Then it just stopped.

Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko.

Wala pang nangyayari, pero parang tatakasan na ako ng bait anumang segundo. Pamela was just looking at me, probably thinking how foolish I was to still continue reading. But I knew I needed to read this—to know the kind of evil I was playing with.

To draw strength to continue seeking justice.

(k) Then someone whispered near my ear, “You’re next,” he said.

Holy fuck.

I suddenly reached for a glass of water, and quickly finished it. Napa-hawak ako sa dibdib ko. Sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko.

“Okay ka lang?” Pamela asked.

Slowly and with staggering breath, I nodded. “Y-yeah…” I replied.

“Saang banda ka na?”

“Dun sa may bumulong sa kanya,” sagot ko.

“Ah… That part,” she said. “Malayo ka pa pala.”

My heart was still racing inside my chest. I still couldn’t breathe properly. She was right; this was too much to take in one night. I didn’t want to stop reading… but I wasn’t sure how much more I could take without breaking down.

“This affidavit,” I began, “It’s too detailed. Paano’ng nakalaya si Nathan?”

Pamela smiled at little. “It’s all about technicalities, Mallary. One small detail destroyed the testimony of Molly,” she said.

“What detail?” tanong ko habang naka-kunot ang noo. Maybe I hadn’t noticed that detail because I was too busy fearing for Molly’s inevitable fate.

“Letter h, “ she said. “Nathan’s lawyers argued that Molly was probably too smashed to even remember anything.”

“That’s crazy!” sigaw ko. “I know Molly. Hindi siya umiinom!”

Pamela looked at me like she pitied me. “They showed videos, Mall. That night, at the party, there was a video of Molly looking pretty trashed. The defense also argued that since Molly was drunk… and probably some drugs were involved, her testimonies shouldn’t be considered credible.”

What.

The.

Fuck.

“Sino’ng matinong babae ang magsasabi na na-rape siya? Just for fucking fun?” I said through gritted teeth. Did they think Molly was fabricating all those details? To lie that she was raped?

Why the fuck would she even do that?!

“It’s a drunk girl’s allegations versus Nathaniel Ramirez—hotshot lawyer, from a prominent family, with clean records, and someone who’s never been involved in any scandal until this one.”

I didn’t know what to feel—to get mad for this injustice or to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. It was crystal clear. She was raped. But what? Because of a technicality—just because she said she was forced to drink something, suddenly, her words shouldn’t be trusted anymore?

Tinignan niya ako nang mabuti. “It is frustrating, yes, but it’s the law, Mallary. They couldn’t convict him based on circumstantial evidence.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“That’s law, Mallary,” she said. “ Dura lex sed lex, “ she continued, and looked at me. “The law may be harsh, but it is still the law.”

“Bullshit,” I repeated. “What about DNA? Other evidence? You can’t tell me they’re all lies.”

“Mall, they’re smart… do you think they’ll just leave crumbs of evidence? Of course, everything that could be destroyed are now gone,” she said like it was just one of the truths I should accept.

Tumayo ako. I couldn’t listen to any more of this bullshit. She was raped! That was clear! Pero ano? Dahil lang sa isang maling salita, nawala na lahat? What kind of fucking justice does this country serve?!

“Aalis ka na?” she asked.

“If I don’t go right now, I’ll probably break everything in this place,” I said, my hands fisted in anger.

“It’s all in the little details, Mallary,” she said before I got out of the door.

---

I spent the whole night boxing. I was mad as hell; I was frustrated as fuck. Hindi ko maintindihan kung paano nangyari ’yun. They should’ve believed Molly. Sa tingin ba nila sasabihin niya na lang na na-rape siya dahil lang gusto niyang magpapansin? Didn’t they know the stigma Molly would get once people know that she was raped?

Baka kasi gusto niya.

Baka kasi maigsi suot niya.

Baka kasi nagpakita ng motibo.

Baka kasi.

Puro baka kasi.

Always blaming the victim.

From: Pamela

Left something at your door.

Mabilis akong pumunta sa pintuan ko. Naka-kita ako ng envelope. Nang buksan ko ’yun, mabilis kong nakita iyong affidavit ni Molly na binasa ko kahapon.

There was also a note from Pamela that said, “Thought this might interest you. Letter p. Little details, Mall.”

Naglakad ako papunta sa kusina habang dala iyong envelope. I left that on the counter top while I got myself a glass of water. After drinking, I opened the envelope again, and scanned for letter p. I didn’t have the heart to go through the affidavit, so I tried my best to ignore every word.

Every time I read the words I screamed for help, a part inside me died a little.

(p) “Smile for the camera, Molly. You’re a good bitch, aren’t you? Come on, open your legs for us,” someone said. Then I felt something being inserted inside me. I tried to scream… but I was tired. So tired.

Hindi ko namalayan ang pagtulo ng luha ko. I got myself another glass of water, but I couldn’t because my hands were shaking so bad. I had to collect myself because I was trembling with anger and pain for what happened to Molly.

Teeth gritting.

Hands shaking.

Heart breaking.

Ilang minuto ang hinintay ko bago ako kumalma. I got the affidavit again, and carefully scanned through the words.

Smile for the camera, Molly

Come on, open your legs for us

I read those words over and over again.

Until I couldn’t get them out of my mind.

From: Pierce

Coffee?

To: Pierce

I don’t play games, Pierce. I don’t have time for it. I won’t be your dirty secret. If you’re not in this, I’m out.

---

I was right; Nathan would bite on to my hook. A few hours later, he was calling me, telling me that there’s a party this Friday, and he’d introduce me to his friends.

Ilang beses ko binasa iyong affidavit. Pamela was right; the little details matter. Hindi nag-iisa si Nathan… marami sila. Pero bakit siya lang ang kinasuhan?

He must love his fucking friends so bad to carry the case alone.

And the fucking video camera.

I was sure they’re hiding it in their cabin.

“This good?” tanong ko kay David. Mamayang gabi na iyong party. I needed to look my best.

“Do you have a death wish, Mall?” he asked through the screen.

“I just want justice for Moll’s death, you know that,” I replied, and looked at myself at the mirror. I looked fine—but I was looking for exquisite. I needed to make an impression on his friends.

Nathan’s already hooked. I needed to get close to his friends.

“I know you love that girl to death, but do you seriously think that Molly will be happy seeing you put yourself in danger?” he asked.

I looked at him. “You don’t know what she’d want. She’s already dead.”

“Alright. Just take care of yourself, Mall. There are people who still want you alive,” he reminded. I wasn’t sure about that, though. I was sure they’d rather I was the one buried six feet under.

After talking with David, I finally settled on a red long gown. It hugged my curves perfectly, and I matched it with a bloody red lipstick. I just wanted to make a statement—and to get Nathan’s friends attention.

“Wow,” Nathan said upon seeing me. “You look…”

“Too good to be a secret?” I asked, arching a brow.

He smiled. “I told you you’re not a secret,” he said.

“I know. I was just kidding,” I replied with a forced smile on my face. When he put his hand on the small of my back, I fought so hard the urge to flinch.

Every time he’d touch me, I was reminded of the affidavit.

Every time I’d look at him, it was like I could hear Molly’s scream for help.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Tumango ako. “I’m fine,” I lied.

“My friends… they can be real jackasses.” I bet. “But they’re good people.”

My lips quivered a little.

How could one person tell so much lies?

“Ecstatic to meet them,” I just said.

---

Upon arriving at the ballroom of the hotel, I immediately excused myself. I got myself a glass of champagne, and quickly downed it.

I needed to get myself a little drunk to be able to meet his friends.

Pumasok din ako sa CR, at saka tinignan ang sarili ko. I looked nothing like Molly… I was nothing close to how smart she was, to how talented she was.

She was full of potential, but they took all of that away.

“We’ll make them pay,” I whispered as I stared at myself. “I promise you that.”

The program was already starting when I got out. It was a charity event of the family of John Harvey Melendrez. I was sure all of Nathan’s friends would be present.

Paglabas ko, hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa sobrang kaba o dahil sa sobrang galit, pero muntik na akong matumba.

“I’m sorry,” I said, as I tried to pull the hem of my dress from my feet. As I looked up, my heart suddenly froze.

It was him.

Christian Blake Valderrama

“Next time, watch where you’re going,” he said, before walking away. I watched as he disappeared in the sea of people. It was surreal seeing him alive, as I’d only saw him in Nathan’s walls.

“Ary?” Bigla akong natigilan nang marinig ko ang boses ni Nathan. “I’ll introduce you to my friends,” he said.

Fuck.

This was it.

As we were walking, I was telling myself that I could do this. For Molly. I knew that if this happened to me, she’d do the same. She’d also want justice for my death.

Kaya ko ’to.

Nang huminto kami, agad na nakita ko lahat ng mga kaibigan niya. Two of them were laughing; the other two were listening to the one speaking in front.

“Ready?” Nathan whispered in my ears.

“Always,” I replied, as I watched their eyes turn on me.

Game officially starting.

VII. A Good Challenge

VII. A Good Challenge

“Ary, this is Harvey, Thomas,” he said, motioning at the two guys who were laughing. I calmed myself so hard. Sila ’yung dalawang lalaki na narinig kong nag-uusap sa bar tungkol kay Molly.

My hand was slightly trembling with rage when I took their hands, but they probably didn’t notice because they were busy looking at me as if I was a prey waiting to be pounced on.

“So… you’re the reason why Pierce is always busy,” Thomas said as he shook my hand. I felt him pressed my hand.

“You mean his cases,” I said in a light tone. How it took my everything to be able to hold my shit together. “Nice to finally meet Pierce’s friends,” I continued, looking at both Thomas and Harvey.

I glanced at Nathan, then I realized that he was turning pale. He’s so fucking guilty, he couldn’t even hide it anymore. Nang mukhang mapansin din nila Harvey iyong pagbabago sa kulay ng kaibigan nila, bigla silang nagsalita.

“Ary,” Thomas said. I almost shivered when he said my name. “This grumpy one’s Andres,” he continued, and motioned at the moreno guy who looked like he’s about to snap someone’s neck any second now.

I threw him a small smile, but I was ignored. Great.

“Don’t worry, he’s always mad at something,” Thomas whispered in my ears. He’s too fucking close! I felt the hair on my nape stood on their freaking ends! I looked at Nathan, but I just saw him looking away, with his jaw clenched.

Ganito ba?

Wala siyang magawa basta sa kaibigan niya?

“And that one,” Thomas continued despite me trying to subtly put distance between us. Couldn’t he tell that I wasn’t comfortable with him touching me like he freaking owned me?

Thomas motioned at him. The guy I accidentally bumped into.

“Friendly advice, just ignore him,” Thomas whispered. “But he’s Blake, for the sake of knowing him.”

Thomas and Harvey seemed like easy targets. I knew their type—they’d probably hit on me behind Nathan’s back. And Nathan, being the spineless and ball-less asshole that he was, would pretend that nothing’s happening.

But that Andres and Blake? Hindi ko pa alam kung paano ako makaka-lapit sa kanilang dalawa. I needed more intel.

Thankfully, may dumaan na kakilala si Thomas at Harvey kaya nilubayan niya na ako. I looked at Nathan who was then talking to Andres. They were whispering, but I knew it was a heated altercation. There was a rather obvious crease on Andres’ forehead, and Nathan was wearing his face whenever he’s trying to argue a hopeless case.

Interesting.

It seemed like Andres wasn’t on board with the idea of me meeting Nathan’s friends. Wala pa nga akong ginagawa kaya bakit ganyan na agad siya?

“Anything interesting on my face?” I asked Blake who was unabashedly staring at me.

His face was void of any emotion; he was hard to read. I thought he was going to say something smart, but he just stared at me before walking away.

I needed more intel on that guy. He seemed like he’d be the hardest to crack. He’s not giving anything away—at least Andres was mad. Anger is still an emotion.

Figuring out that I’d let Nathan sort the issue out first with Andres, I got myself a glass of cocktail first. Uminom ako nang lapitan ako ng isang babae. She was just interested in me dahil kasama ako ni Nathan. After all, Nathan’s still a Ramirez.

But while I was chatting, I could feel Blake’s eyes on me.

Like he was studying me.

Like he knew what my intent was.

“Are you okay?” Nathan said after a few minutes. He looked better now.

“Yeah, I was just chatting with someone,” I replied. “Andres seemed mad,” I commented.

Nathan gulped; always too obvious with his emotion. “He’s just usually like that,” he explained. “If the party’s boring you, we can leave.”

I waived my hand, and said, “I’m enjoying.”

There’s no way that I’d leave. This was their nest. What better way to study the preys than to observe them in their natural habitat?

“Your friends seem nice,” I stated, trying to steer the conversation back to his friends. Napapansin ko na palaging iniiwas ni Nathan doon ang usapan. Ayaw niya talaga na makilala ko ang kaibigan niya.

“Yeah, they are,” he replied.

“Paano mo sila nakilala?”

It was so obvious that he wasn’t comfortable with the conversation, but at the same time, he didn’t want to draw suspicion from me.

“Family friends,” he simply replied.

“Since you were kids?”

“Yeah.”

I nodded. “You all must be very close, then.” Close enough to let yourself be indicted alone for something all of you did.

I still couldn’t decide if that was selfless of him or just plainly stupid. Like how the fuck did they made him carry the charge alone? To let his name be ruined that way?

“Yeah,” he simply replied. Ang tipid niyang sumagot. “Are you hungry?” he asked. I just nodded; it would be too weird if I kept on pressing him about his friends. The night was still young, anyway.

---

It seemed like Nathan planned for me not to meet his friends again. All through the night, ibang mga kaibigan niya ang nakilala ko. Most of them, Nathan introduced them as friends, but it was obvious that they were mere acquaintances of his. Ayaw niya lang talaga na maka-usap ko iyong apat.

We were sitting when I felt the phone vibrate inside my bag. Then, I saw Nathan reading something on his phone. Alam ko na agad kung sino ang nagtext. Isa lang naman ang nakaka-gawa ng ganyang itsura sa mukha niya.

“Ary,” he began.

“Work call,” I continued.

His face fell, but he was quick to hide his real emotion. “I apologize. I’ll just take you to dinner tomorrow.”

“It’s alright. I’ll just take an Uber,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. Nang makaalis siya, agad kong binuksan, at tinignan kung sino iyong nagtext sa kanya.

From: Tommy

Usual. Lagot ka hahaha

Damn.

Magkikita na naman sila! And I was pissed because I badly wanted to get inside that fucking cabin, but until now, I couldn’t think of a way to be able to get inside that. Kung condo pa lang ni Nathan, hindi na ako makapasok, sa cabin pa kaya? Sa cabin na lima sila na nagpo-protekta?

I was so fucked.

I didn’t even attempt to follow Nathan again dahil alam ko naman na kung paano magpunta doon. Sigurado din ako na hindi basta-basta makakapasok… unless papasukin nila ako. Which was impossible. Kasi kahit kanina na pinakilala ako, I still felt the invisible wall between me and them.

Like I could try, but they’d never really let me in.

Maybe this was really a suicide mission.

---

“So… suko ka na?” Pamela asked. We met again, and I just told her about everything that happened last night. Nothing monumental; just me observing my prey in their natural habitat.

“Of course not,” I replied. “Just finally realizing what an impossible mission this is.”

Pamela shrugged, then continued to enjoy her plate of seafood pasta. “Who was the one who kept on talking to you?” she asked as she wiped the side of her lips with a napkin.

“Thomas,” I replied.

Pamela got her laptop, and did whatever she does whenever she’s holding that prized possession of her. “Hmm,” she murmured. “According to my research, Tommy here likes playing poker.”

“So?” I asked, and Pamela shook her head in dismay.

“If you can’t destroy them together, destroy the enemy one by one.”

God, when she said things like this.

“I’ll send you a copy of the place he frequents. Do you play high stakes poker?” she asked.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “And high stakes? I don’t have the kind of money to gamble with rich boys like him.

“It’s not gambling if you’re sure you’ll win,” she said.

“I don’t even know how to play!” I reasoned. Seriously, Pamela must think that I was some spy. Did she really think that I could just learn how to play poker in a day?

“Then you better start learning now,” she said, shrugging.

---

Nathan was busy lately. Alam ko na hindi iyon tungkol sa mga kaibigan niya dahil wala naman akong nababasa na text mula sa kanila. It seemed like the group had been quiet for a while.

It was a good thing for me, though. I’d been trying to learn how to play poker for the last few days, and I must say that so far, this was a fun game.

“Ready?” Pamela asked.

“I kinda get the game already, but not sure about betting on myself,” I replied. “Baka mas lalo lang mapasama kung maglalaro ako tapos—”

“Ms. Nega,” Pamela said. “Just use your charm the way you did with Nathan. And don’t worry with the bet. Ako na bahala ’dun.”

I creased my forehead. “What do you mean?”

She shrugged. “Basta. Just focus on getting close to Tommy.”

Tumango ako. Sinimulan kong basahin iyong binigay ni Pamela. Listed on the paper were the rules of the establishment, as well as Thomas’ habits when it came to playing. I really couldn’t say anything when it came to Pamela and her research.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked. She was doing so much without asking anything in return. I was thankful, yes, but also, I was wondering why.

This wasn’t just about the money, I was sure.

“I’m bored,” she replied.

“Bullshit,” I shot back.

She laughed. “Just focus on your goal, Mallary. I’m just here to help.”

---

The next day, I was all dressed up. I knew Thomas liked girls—probably a little too much—so I dressed up in a way that he’d like.

I also reviewed my poker knowledge. I didn’t want to look like a fool when I play later.

From: Pierce

Dinner?

To: Pierce

Busy. Next time?

Nathan’s already hooked. It’s high time I play with his friends now. And Pamela’s right—if you can’t conquer them together, destroy them one by one.

And tonight, Thomas Marius Aranza III was the target.

I went to the establishment Thomas was frequenting. Pagdating ko roon, wala pa siya. I decided to play to try my luck in poker. A few men tried to hit on me, but I was ignoring them. I was so focused on playing when I almost jumped on my seat when I heard someone whispering in my ear.

“Weird seeing you here,” biglang sabi ni Thomas.

Napa-tingin ako sa kanya. He was wearing his usual cocky grin and his fucking annoying persona. He’s the kind of guy who I wanted to punch every time I see his face. He’s just so full of it, and he didn’t even make an effort to hide it.

“Weird seeing you here,” I replied, trying to sound flirtatious.

“You play?” he asked.

I arched my brow. “You like stating the obvious?”

The side of his lips rose. “I see why my friend likes you,” he said, then ran his eyes on me. I felt shivers in my spine when he looked at me like he’s ready to pounce on me. This asshole. I wasn’t quite sure if he wanted me to notice, or he’s just useless at hiding that lust in his face.

I was about to reply, when the dealer announced that a new game would start.

“Wanna play?” he asked.

“Sure,” I replied. “What’s at stake?”

“What do you want?” he asked.

“You can’t give me what I want,” I replied, arching my brow. Guys like him, they like a good challenge.

He seemed pleased with the conversation. He even cocked his head sideway. “If I win, will you give me what I want?” he asked back.

“Win first, then we’ll see,” I said, then quickly turned my gaze at the table. But even as I turned my back on him, I could still feel his gaze on me.

VIII. There’s No Murder If There’s No Body

VIII. There’s No Murder If There’s No Body

Thomas was sitting on the seat across mine. It was so obvious that he was comfortable in this place. He was known to everybody; and I swear I just saw him tapping the ass of one of the waitress who just passed by.

Asshole.

“Ready?” he asked, smirking at me while the dealer was distributing the cards.

I just answered him with a shrug. With every card placed in front of me, my heart just kept on beating faster. Pakiramdam ko ay magkakaroon na ako ng sakit sa puso bago pa matapos ang laro na ’to.

“I open…” Thomas said while looking at me. “50 thousand,” he said, cocking his head to the side as if challenging me.

I stared at my card. I only got three of a kind—10 diamond, 10 club, and 10 spades. I didn’t like my chances… but I needed to be aggressive.

“I raise to 100,” I replied, looking smug. Sabi ni Pamela, siya ang bahala. Bahala talaga siya dito.

The side of his lips rose. The other players with us, they just folded. Kaming dalawa na lang ni Thomas ang natira. “Call,” he said.

When I placed my cards on the table, mas lalong umangat ang labi ni Thomas. He seemed impressed with my guts.

“Three of a kind,” he said when he stared at my cards. “You have guts,” he continued while he was taking the chips to his side.

“The game is just starting,” I said, smiling at him, but inside, I was pissed. I just fucking lost a hundred thousand pesos! Pamela better be serious about what she said the last time! Sure, I had that money, but I didn’t want to waste it on gambling.

The game continued, and I continued to play aggressively. We played 6 rounds, and I won twice. Thomas won twice, too. I already won 800 thousand, and lost 900. On the seventh, hindi ko alam kung ano ang pumasok sa isip ni Thomas.

“I open 1 million,” he said, smirking at me.

I stared at my card. Straight flush. I liked my chances… what were the chances that Thomas was holding a Royal flush? It was slim to fucking none. Wala pang naglalabas ng Royal flush sa buong laro namin.

“Raise to 2 million,” I replied.

“Call,” sabi niya.

Molly, if you’re looking down at me, please tell the angels to save me. Even if it’s not my money that I’d lose, hindi pa rin maganda sa pakiramdam na matalo ng dalawang milyon.

With heart beating so fucking wild inside my chest, I laid down my cards, then stared at Thomas’.

My lips almost parted.

This mother fucking asshole. He only got a high card but he betted 2 million?!

“You’re crazy,” I uttered.

He shrugged. “Consider that as a gift,” he said like he didn’t just lose 2 million on purpose.

Fucking rich guys.

My system was still slightly trembling from the fear of losing that amount of money, but I willed myself to act calmly. The game of poker was now done; I was now playing the game they started when they played with Molly.

“I don’t believe in gifts,” I said, staring back at him. He was looking at me like he wanted to do bad things to me. He was just so shameful. “I’m sure you’d want something in return.”

“You think too much, Ary Fuentes,” he said, running his eyes up and down on me. “I’ll see you again,” he continued with a lingering stare.

---

“Nice. 4.5 million,” Pamela said while counting my total winning. “Want me to put them in your bank account?” she asked.

Umiling ako. “No. That’s dirty money. If you know any charities for victims of rape, just make an anonymous donation.”

My only goal was to find justice for Molly, and if in the process I could help someone else, too, then good. But I never wanted to gain anything from this—not money nor fucking connections with those rich assholes.

Pamela looked taken aback with what I just did. I didn’t know why she was so surprised. If she’s really good at what she does, she should know that if I really wanted money, I could always just… go back.

But I’d rather be poor than to go back to that hell.

“So, what’s the next plan?” she asked.

“Usual,” simula ko. “Will still date Nathan, then I’ll try to get closer with Thomas. He said he’d see me soon. I’m just waiting for that soon. “

Pamela nodded. She was typing something in her laptop. For a change, ako naman iyong kumakain. I just let her do her magic while I eat and simultaneously text with Nathan. I promised him that we’d have dinner tonight. I couldn’t keep on ditching him. After all, should my plan of getting close to his friends fail, Nathan would be my only chance.

From: Thomas

Yacht party. Friday. Game? -Thomas

“Speak of the devil,” I murmured as I read his text. Hindi ko alam kung saan niya nakuha iyong number ko. I surely didn’t give it to him. Isa lang ang alam ko na pwedeng magbigay sa kanya—si Nathan.

It was obvious that he didn’t want me close with his friends. Yet for some reason, he just gave my number to Thomas. His manwhore friend. Talk about missing a spine in his back.

“What?” Pamela asked.

“Thomas just texted. He’s inviting me in some yacht party,” sabi ko.

“Sino’ng kasama?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Not sure.” I glanced at Pamela, and she looked worried. “I’ll be fine.”

“That was probably what Molly thought, too. That she’ll be fine. But look where she ended up in,” Pamela said. My jaw clenched at the mention of Molly. It was… still a sore topic. Until now, I still hadn’t read the whole affidavit. Every time I’d try, suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.

It was more than reading; it was like I was reliving the whole nightmare.

And I didn’t think I could do that just yet.

It was… too much.

“I’m not Molly,” I told her with serious eyes.

“I know. But you’re being stupid if you’ll come to this yacht party. Paano kapag may ginawa sila sa ’yo? Tatalon ka sa dagat? Magpapaka-lunod?”

“Ikaw ’yung nagsabi na kailangan kong lumapit—”

“There’s a thin line between being brave and being stupid, Mallary. Once you cross the line, death might be the end game,” she said, staring at me like she meant every word.

Alam ko naman na tama siya. This was dangerous… but I knew that, but that didn’t stop me from playing. I wasn’t just playing for fun, I was playing for justice. For Molly.

This was bigger than me.

“Sometimes, you just have to cross the line… and hope for the best,” I said before picking up my phone to confirm my attendance in the party.

---

“What? May dumi ba sa mukha ko?” kunut-noo kong tanong kay Nathan nang mapansin ko na nakatitig lang siya sa mukha ko. We were dining, but he’s been unusually quiet. Usually, we’d talk about books, current events, or anything the interests the both of us. But tonight, he was quiet, and he just kept on staring at me.

I had an inkling that this had something to do with me suddenly being poker-buddies with Thomas.

“Nothing,” he said. Sabi ko na nga ba; he’s too spineless to even address the situation. I was pretty sure that he’d just let me do whatever I wanted… hindi dahil sa may tiwala siya sa akin kung hindi dahil takot siya sa mga kaibigan niya.

I couldn’t wait until I find out what his friends were holding over his head.

“This Friday…” he began while cutting his steak. His steak was already cut to tiny pieces—that’s how bothered he was. “Want… to go somewhere?”

This was new.

And fast.

We’d been only seeing each other for almost 3 months. If he’d invite me in an out of town trip, then me going in a yacht party with Thomas must really be bothering him.

“I already committed my Friday night,” I said, staring right into his eyes. How easy would it be if he’d just confess everything. I wanted to believe that Nathan wasn’t capable of doing everything that I thought he did… but if he’s keeping his silence to protect his friends, then he’s just as worse.

The veins in his neck looked like they’re ready to burst anytime. I continued enjoying my steak. I had a feeling that after the yacht party, tuluyan ko nang makukuha ang tiwala ni Thomas. Right after that, I’d probably work on Harvey.

Then the two bane of my existence—Andres and Blake.

“Can’t you reschedule?” he asked, sounding adamant.

“No,” I said. “But you’re free to come.”

Pero hindi siya sumagot.

Wala talagang kwenta.

---

When I arrived at the Manila Yacht Club, I was immediately ushered to the yacht of Thomas. The music was already blasting, and people were already on deck.

Pag-akyat ko, at saka ko napansin na naka-bikini lahat ng babae. I was trying to figure my way around nang maka-salubong ko si Harvey.

Bingo.

Two in one.

“Ary?” he asked, his forehead creased. Hindi sinabi sa kanya ni Thomas na invited ako? Nakakapagtaka talaga… these guys, they all seemed close, but in reality, there were walls that separate them from one another.

“Oh, hi,” I said, smiling. “Finally, a familiar face,” sabi ko habang biglang napa-lapit sa kanya bigla dahil may dumaan sa likod ko. I sensually ran my hand over his chest when I pretended to have lost my balance.

“First time seeing you in Tommy’s party,” sabi niya habang tinutulungan ako na tumayo.

I nodded. “Accidentally bumped into Thomas last Tuesday, and he invited me,” I said, shrugging. “But I didn’t get the memo that I should be wearing bikinis,” I continued, as I glanced at the bikini-cladded ladies parading around.

“Don’t worry, you’re still hotter than those girls.” I almost jumped when Thomas suddenly whispered in my ears. Seriously! He should stop doing that!

“Is Nate here?” Harvey asked. Instead of answering, Thomas just laughed.

Hindi ko talaga maintindihan ’yung pagkakaibigan nila. It’s like they’re friends… but not really.

Pagkatapos naming mag-usap, mabilis na pumasok kami sa loob. Mas tahimik dito dahil walang masyadong tao. It seemed like only a few people were allowed to get inside. An exclusive place within an exclusive place.

“Don’t worry, she’s cool,” I heard Thomas saying. I tried to walk faster to be able to hear their conversation, but Harvey already was on the other side.

“Thanks,” I said when Thomas handed me a red cup. “Looks like Harvey doesn’t want me here,” I commented.

Thomas waived his hand. “He’ll get over it. You’re just new in his eyes.”

“Alright,” I replied, shrugging.

“Does Pierce know that you’re here?” tanong ni Thomas.

“Yes,” sagot ko, naka-tingin sa kanya.

“Hmm,” he hummed, then downed the content of his cup.

“He’s not the boss of me, Thomas. No one is the boss of me,” I said with a lingering smile as I left him to wonder about me.

Paglabas ko, napansin ko na sa magkakaibigan, si Harvey lang ang nandito. It confirmed my theory that those people were not friends—not really. There’s just something that connected the five of them.

And I fucking needed to know that.

Harvey was talking to some girl, and the next thing, his tongue was already inside the girl’s mouth. O…kay.

Tumalikod na ako, at naghanap ng ibang gagawin. I discreetly went inside the rooms, but nothing useful there. I just saw some couples making-out.

A few minutes later, Thomas pulled me, and told me that I should join the game.

“Seriously?” I asked when I learned what they’re playing.

“It’s the best way to know somebody,” he replied, shrugging. He sat on the couch, and I figured, fuck it. Nandito na ako.

The game began. Some of their friends joined; some were unlucky because they’re still outside. It seemed like they couldn’t get in unless they’re invited.

I was playing with the in crowd. I wondered if any of these people knew what happened that night. After all, the world of the rich is unbelievably small.

“Never have I ever…” I began as I directly stared at Thomas. “Killed somebody.”

I heard whispers.

But the jaws of the people around me dropped when I drank the content of the cup.

“What the fuck, Ary?” Thomas said, unable to believe what I just did.

“There’s no murder if there’s no body,” I said, smiling at him. And I knew then, by the look on his face, that Thomas Marius Aranza III’s already on my hook.

IX. A Story Worth Telling

IX. A Story Worth Telling

It felt like I was cheating on Nathan even though I wasn’t really dating him. I mean, not really. But with the rate things were going, with Thomas constantly texting me, yeah… it kinda felt like cheating.

“Surprise, surprise,” Thomas said when I finally arrived. He invited me to a few parties, but I respectfully declined them all. Of course, I didn’t want his friends to think that I was just playing Nathan. I still needed them to believe that I had no other ulterior motive, and I was just here because I sincerely like their friend.

Naupo ako sa bakanteng couch. We were in The Loft, and it was still pretty early kaya wala pang masyadong tao. Pinili ko na rin na pumunta dahil alam ko na dito madalas tumambay si Blake at Andres.

“What changed?” Thomas asked as he gave me a drink.

I shrugged. “Just a petty fight,” I replied.

I was still unsure about my game plan with Thomas. I mean, it was obvious that he had a thing for me, but I didn’t know if I was ready to ditch Nathan—who was safer and more comfortable.

But undoubtedly, without a spine.

With Thomas, it seemed more likely that he’d slip because he’s too playful.

“What do you even see in him?” Thomas asked, gazing at me again.

I cocked my head to the side. “Well, isn’t he your friend?” I asked, the side of my lips raising.

“He is…” he trailed, his eyes never leaving my face. “But bad girls like you? You’ll get bored of him.”

I raised the glass to my lips, and gently tapped Thomas’ cheek. “You’re a bad friend, Thomas,” sabi ko habang naiiling.

“You’re not so good yourself, Ary,” he replied, not breaking the contact between our eyes. Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal naka-tingin sa kanya. Ang alam ko lang, hindi ako pwedeng magpatalo. I needed to keep Thomas by my side for as long as I could.

I believed that one day, I’d need him to be on my side.

After a few seconds, I slowly laughed. “Where are your other friends?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

“Who?”

“Harvey? And the two silent dudes,” I said, even shrugging my shoulders.

“Harvey’s attending a charity auction,” Thomas said.

“Sounds fun,” I commented.

“Well, free money’s fun,” he shot back. My eyebrow automatically arched when he made the comment. It seemed like that Melendrez family wasn’t as clean as the public perceived them to be. I mean, Thomas wouldn’t make that comment out of nothing.

As they say, when there’s smoke, there’s fire.

I better ask Pamela to dig deeper about this. I couldn’t risk showing too much interest. Masyadong magtataka si Thomas.

“How about the other two?” I asked. I reached for another glass of whisky. Good thing that my alcohol tolerance was high. Kailangan kong sabayan si Thomas tuwing umiinom niya. Hindi kagaya kay Nathan na puro kape lang.

“They’ll come, they’ll go, I really don’t know,” Thomas answered as if he was reciting a really bad poetry. “Pierce keeps on texting,” he said, diverting the topic when he saw my phone who kept on showing Pierce’s name.

“Should I invite him here?” I asked Thomas.

He shrugged. “I see no reason why not,” maka-hulugan niyang sagot.

My head began ache. The questions just kept on piling. Ano’ng klaseng pagkakaibigan ba ang meron sa kanila? Do they fucking share girls? Kaya ba walang magawa si Nathan kapag gusto akong kausapin ni Thomas?

Ganoon ba ang ginawa nila kay Molly?

But it didn’t make sense. According to Molly’s diary, kahit ilang beses siyang pinakilala kay Nathan, hindi siya nito maalala.

…until one day, he finally remembered.

What fucking changed?

---

A few minutes after I texted Nathan my whereabouts, I pretended to go to the bathroom. I had an inkling that a little confrontation would happen when Nathan arrive.

And I must hear every word.

I stayed inside the comfort room for a few minutes. Paglabas ko, napahinto ako dahil nakita ko si Blake.

“You’re everywhere I go,” he said.

“Touché. You’re always in my face, too,” I shot back. I figured being a smart ass like I did with Nathan wouldn’t work with Blake; nor flirting a little like I did with Thomas.

Blake’s on an another level.

“You just appeared out of nowhere,” he said again.

“Your friend’s the one who approached me. If you have a problem, take it up with him,” I replied, tilting my chin upward. I wouldn’t be intimidated by this guy. I’d already dipped my foot in hell when I decided to play with them.

For some reason, I was beginning to fear nothing.

When I sensed that he wouldn’t be saying anything anymore, tumalikod na ako, at naglakad pabalik sa pwesto namin. I was more pissed dahil nagsisimula nang mag-usap sila Thomas at Nathan.

Nang tumalikod ako, nakita ko na wala na si Blake. I tried to look around, but it felt like he just disappeared. Still, I couldn’t risk him watching me, and seeing me sneak up on Thomas and Nathan.

Annoying.

When I approached Nathan and Thomas, I noticed that Nathan’s chest was heaving—probably in anger—while Thomas had this smirk on his face.

“Let’s go,” Nathan said.

“Ano ba kasing problema mo?” I asked him, pretending to be mad. “You’ve been acting like an ass.”

Thomas cocked his head. “Yeah, Pierce. What’s your problem?” dagdag niya.

Nathan looked like he was about to explode in anger. Inside my head, I was counting… but I already reached 10, yet, I heard nothing from Nathan.

Was he really like this?

Did he really just let his friends walk all over him?

What the fuck did they have on him to render him petrified like this?

Tumingin sa akin si Nathan. “Ary,” he said, his voice gentler. “Please.”

Fuck.

Kanino ako kakampi?

Pumikit ako sandali. Molly. There’s a reason why Molly only filed a case against Nathan. There must be a reason.

“Alright,” sagot ko makalipas ang ilang segundo. Kinuha ko iyong bag ko. But as I was picking up my bag, I saw Thomas mouthing ‘ditch him’ to me. He’s really not Nathan’s friend. For him to do that.

Habang papalabas kami, nakita ko si Blake. He was on the second floor, watching down on us. Like he could see everything.

He raised his glass of whisky with our gaze unfaltering.

Christian Blake Valderrama, just so you wait. Your time would come.

Paglabas namin, agad kaming dumiretso sa sasakyan ni Nathan. Nakaupo lang kaming dalawa. He didn’t start the engine, so I figured that we’d talk.

I remained silent for a few minutes, giving him the opportunity to start the conversation, but it seemed like he was in deep thoughts.

“What’s your problem?” I began asking him. “You don’t talk to me. You ignore my calls. And now, you dragged me out of a club.”

His hands were on the steering wheel. Mahigpit ang hawak niya doon. But when he suddenly rested his head on the steering wheel, and when his grasp on it loosened, I was thrown off.

“I’m tired,” he said.

“From what?”

“Everything.”

Molly.

Biglang lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko. This… seemed all too familiar. Like Molly’s last entry.

She was tired, too.

No one believed her.

Pilit kong kinalma ang sarili ko. This was Nathan’s low point, and I needed to exploit it. Hindi ko alam kung mauulit pa ba ulit ito. Not now that Blake seemed to be on my tail.

Gently, I placed my hand on top of Nathan’s head, and slowly brushed his hair. If only he wasn’t involved in Molly’s case… maybe I’d like him.

But the imagine of him would forever be tarnished with death.

I didn’t think I could ever move on from that.

“You can tell me,” I cooed.

“You’ll leave me if I tell you,” he replied in his muffled voice.

“You want to hear a story?” I asked. I needed to make him feel that I trust him before he could trust me. “Once upon a time, there were three siblings—Lala, Dipsy, and Po.”

Biglang umangat iyong ulo ni Nathan mula sa pagkakasandal. “Teletubbies? Really?”

“This is my story,” I said.

There was a smile on his face. “Fine.”

“Anyway, since Lala was always getting sick, their parents were always at the hospital, taking care of Lala. Because of that, palaging naiiwan sa bahay si Dipsy at Po,” I said.

And as words fell out of my tongue, my heart constricted a little. But I held on.

“They were fifteen that time. One night, while Po was reading her book, Dipsy barged inside her room. Po asked him why, but she was surprised when Po pulled down his pants.”

“You’re giving teletubbies a new meaning, Ary,” Nathan said.

I smiled at him, and caressed his cheek. Hinawakan niya iyong kamay ko, at saka dinala sa labi ko.

“Dipsy told Po to lie down on the bed, and to remove her underwear. Of course, Dipsy didn’t want to. But Po told her that if she did not obey, he’d kill her.”

“Was Po a psycho? Dipsy’s his sister, right?”

I nodded. “They’re triplets.”

“That’s gross.”

I stared at Nathan’s face. He didn’t seem bothered that I was talking about a rape case—similar to what was charged against him.

It felt like rape was just another word for him.

“Dipsy had his way with her. And again. And again. Until one night, Po had enough,” I said. I was thankful for the lack of lightning in Nathan’s car. “She hid a knife under her pillow. So, after Dipsy got on top of her, she got the knife, and stabbed him. Again. And again. And again… until she felt like the wrong had been vindicated.”

My lips felt dry.

“Dipsy deserved that,” Nathan commented.

And as I stared at him, I said, “You think so?”

“Of course,” Nathan said. “But what happened after?”

“Their parents didn’t want to file a case. They kept it as a secret, and buried it,” I said. “Instead, they sent Po abroad, and removed her from the entire family registry… then lived like she never existed.”

“Poor Po,” Nathan said.

‘Poor Molly,’ I thought.

“Why do you think Po did that?” I asked him.

“I don’t know… some people are just evil,” he said. “Some… do it for reasons only them would know.”

“But even behind those evil, there’s still a story worth telling,” I replied. “Will you tell me yours?” I asked. He already told me that there was a case he was involved in, but he never got into details.

He just said that he was falsely accused, and he did nothing wrong. He even told me that it was a rape allegation, but nothing more than that.

He stared at me.

Contemplating.

But in the end, he still chose to listen to the demons inside his head.

---

During the entire ride, I pretended that I wasn’t pissed. I should’ve stayed with Thomas.

Nathan wouldn’t break.

Whatever his friends were holding over him, it was good. So fucking good that he wouldn’t tell a soul about it. A promise he’d surely take to his grave.

“What?” Pamela asked.

“John Harvey Melendrez,” I said.

“What about him?”

“I think his family’s involved in charity scam,” I said. “Dig deep about that, then give me evidence.”

“Ano’ng gagawin mo ’dun?” she asked.

“I’m tired of trying to get in. They’re not letting me,” pagod na sabi ko. “Hindi sila maghihiwalay. Hindi sila nagpapapasok ng kahit sino.”

“Ano’ng plano mo?”

I let out a deep breath.

“Time to destroy the wall,” I said. “If I can’t get inside, I’ll just let them destroy that wall for me.”

“And how do you plan to do that?”

“If I can’t destroy them, I’ll make them destroy one another.”

X. Showtime

X. Showtime

It had been seven days of silence from my part. Both Nathan and Thomas kept on sending texts, and I did reply to some. As they say, make yourself scarce so that they’d keep coming back for more.

But it wasn’t the sole reason why I decided to take a step back. Talking with Pamela really did put things into perspective. I realized that I’d been playing this game the wrong way. I just couldn’t admit it at first that they’re way better players than I was. I was playing in their turf; they control the rules.

If you can’t beat the enemy, join them. And if you still can’t join, play them.

“Are you playing darts?” David asked. My life had been crazy for the past few weeks, but having David in my life made me feel more normal. He’s my anchor; he keeps me grounded.

“Yeah,” I replied, then threw a shot straight at Blake’s face. Ilang araw ko na siyang iniisip. There’s just something about him that I couldn’t quite pin-point at. Tahimik lang siya… but that only made him even more dangerous.

Less talk, less mistake.

A fatal flaw of Thomas Marius Aranza III.

“Is that a face?” naguguluhan na tanong ni David nung kinuha ko iyong board.

I nodded. “Yeah. This is Harvey,” sabi ko habang inaalis iyong dart na naka-tusok sa gitna ng mukha ni Harvey. Pamela already sent me all the files I needed. It was… astonishing. It’s really true that fruits don’t fall far from trees.

“Just take care, okay, Mall?” David asked.

I nodded. Of course I’d take care. I needed to live until I finish this game they started. “By the way, David, how did you know Pamela?” I asked. I’d been itching to ask this question for so long. Hindi ko pa rin alam kung paano naging magkakilala si David at Pamela. As long was I was concerned, David’s a banker in New York. And Pamela’s… I still had no idea. She wouldn’t tell me anything! Sinubukan ko na rin magsearch online pero wala akong makita. It’s like the woman’s a ghost!

“Family friend,” David said like it was a rehearsed answer. Like he was already expecting that I’d ask questions. Of course! Sino ba ang hindi magtataka? With the length she’s willing to go just to help me?

And we’re messing with people no one should even dare try to mess with.

I arched my brow. “David?” I asked. He knew I didn’t like it when people lie to me.

“Just do what you need to do, Mall. Then come home,” he said before quickly dropping the call.

Sino ka ba, Pamela?

---

“Thought you decided to become a hermit or something,” Thomas asked as he kissed me on the cheek, and ran his hand down my back. And as he was doing this, Nathan was just behind me.

“You’re throwing parties every week. It’s not like I’m missing out on a lot,” I said, then he laughed. Mabilis kong nilibot ang mga mata ko. Agad kong nakita si Andres sa isang gilid. Si Harvey? Everything’s going according to plan.

And Blake? I had no idea. That guy’s fucking with my head, and he hadn’t done anything yet.

Naupo ako sa couch. Thomas was talking to someone, while Nathan got us drinks. Nilibot ko iyong mata ko sa paligid. There were CCTV cameras, but there were still a few blind spots. Good thing I was kind of an expert when it comes to evading cameras. Been hiding for as long as I could remember.

“Thanks, babe,” I said to Nathan when he came back with our drinks. Nakaupo lang siya sa tabi ko. His hand was resting on my lap.

“May problema ba kayo ni Thomas?” I asked, brushing my fingers against his hair.

“We’re good,” he replied.

“You sure? You looked tensed earlier,” I stated. Nathan had been nothing short of a gentleman to me. Sometimes, it did cross my mind that… what if he’s just caught in the middle of this? Na wala lang din siyang magawa laban sa mga kaibigan niya?

But then, those who turn a blind eye against oppression are just as guilty as the oppressors.

Apathy is worse than a guilty conscience.

“We’re good, babe,” he said, then caressed his thumb against the skin of my thigh. I just shrugged. Nasasanay na rin naman ako na pagdating sa mga kaibigan niya, wala talagang masabi si Nathan.

Later, as the party grew wilder, most people were already trashed. I already dealt with Nathan. There were few people making out in a corner. I saw Harvey’s hand up in the girl’s skirt.

Then there he was.

Finally, in position.

The weakest link.

“Where’s the dog?” Thomas asked.

I handed him the drink. “He’s my boyfriend,” naiiling ko na sabi.

“Huh,” he said, then sipped on the glass. “Thought I saw a leash on him.”

I eyed him. “You’re such an ass to Pierce,” I said. It was true, though. Sometimes, it annoyed me how he pushed Nathan around. I mean, you already made him face the charges alone—the least he could do is to probably treat him nicely.

Thomas just shrugged, then finally finished his drink. I stayed for a few minutes, and humored him. Pero habang kausap ko siya, tumitingin pa rin ako sa paligid ko. I couldn’t risk Blake watching me and screw this whole plan.

When time passed, I pulled Thomas to a side. I already mastered the way to get around the house without getting caught on cam.

Thomas was grinning. “You’re a bad girl, Ary,” he said. His eyes looked drunk.

Wrapping my hands around his neck, I grinned at him. “Think you can keep up with me?” I asked.

Oh, God.

Thomas smirked before leaning in, and kissing me. I forced myself to kiss him back because this was a part of the plan. I kept on telling myself that this would all be worth it in the end. I needed to make small sacrifices in order to win the war.

While Thomas was busy kissing me, I put my hand inside his pocket and grabbed his phone. Pamela wasn’t with me, and I needed to do this quick. I just needed this plan to work. I couldn’t waste another day in this forsaken country.

Fuck.

The things I was willing to do for Moll.

I reached for Thomas’ finger, and sucked on it. “Fuck, Ary,” he breathed as I sucked on his index finger. He was so caught up in the situation that he didn’t notice that I got his phone from his pocket.

I breathed harder.

Thomas looked like he’d come any second from now.

I distracted him while I reached for his finger, and placed it on the scanner of his phone. I was disgusting myself with what I was doing, but this needed to be done.

“Got a room?” I asked.

“Upstairs,” he replied, the intensity in his eyes was scaring the shit out of me, but this needed to be done.

“I’ll see you in five,” I said.

He tugged on my hand. “Let’s just go together.”

I licked my lower lip. Ten seconds. “I still need to get rid of Nathan,” I said, cocking my head, then tapping his cheek. “I’ll find you,” I said, then gently pushed him away.

“Turn off the lights, and be quiet,” pahabol ko kay Thomas. “It’s a surprise,” I mouthed, and I swear, his breathing got even more ragged.

Nang makaalis na siya, mabilis kong hinanap si Harvey. I was right; kasama niya iyong si Sabrina. Nilabas ko iyong clone ng phone ni Nathan, at saka nagsend ng text. And it worked like magic. Mukhang may sinabi muna si Harvey kay Sabrina—more like warned her based on the expression on her face.

Nang makaalis na si Harvey, huminga ako nang malalim.

“Hi,” I introduced myself. Sabrina looked at me like a scared puppy. I didn’t want to involve her in this mess, but she’s already in the middle of it.

As Pamela said, no one would get out of this without bloodied hand.

“You’re Harvey’s girl, right? I’m Pierce’s girlfriend,” I continued even though I was getting no response from her. “Here, I got you a drink,” sabi ko sabay abot sa kanya nung baso. She looked like she didn’t want to get the drink, so I had to press on. “I’m Ary, by the way,” I said with a smile.

Good thing I sent Harvey to a pretty far away place. But I needed to work fast. Hindi naman ’yun tanga para hindi mapansin na wala talaga si Nathan… because Nathan’s sound asleep already. I tucked him in some safe place. He didn’t need to get involved tonight.

I had to talk to Sabrina, and make her feel safe around me before I finally got her to drink. Just a little sip would set things in motion.

“I’m just… gonna find Harvey,” she said, her eyes dazed. She kept on fanning herself like she’s in heat.

Tumayo ako at tinulungan siya. “I think he’s upstairs,” I said, pushing her in the right direction. Habang naglalakad siya, sinundan ko si Sabrina para maging sigurado na sa kwarto siya na pinuntahan ni Thomas papasok.

As I watched things in motion, my heart was beating erratically inside my chest. It was exciting me as much as it scared the shit out of me.

But I fucking love the thrill of it.

And when Sabrina went inside the room…

‘Bingo,’ I thought to myself.

“So… you’ll just send the file from the phone of Thomas?” Pamela asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. Bakit?”

“Do you never learn, Mallary?” Pamela asked with her annoying sigh—the sigh that made me feel stupid. Like I kept on doing the wrong things.

“Bakit naman gagawin ni Thomas ’yun kay Harvey? Out of the blue lang?” sunud-sunod na tanong ni Pamela. “There’s no motive.”

Fuck.

“Those guys… you already know how far they’d go to protect each other. Do you seriously think that they won’t find it weird that suddenly, Thomas just decided to go rogue? That he just magically sent incriminating documents to the press?”

Hindi ako nakapagsalita.

“Sabrina Corpuz,” Pamela said, handing over a picture. The girl looked familiar. “She’s the on and off girlfriend of Harvey.”

Oh. Iyong babae na palagi kong nakikita na kasama ni Harvey! The reason why I never had the chance to talk to Harvey—because he’s always around the girl.

“Ano’ng meron sa kanya?” I asked.

“When you had me investigate Harvey’s family, I kinda stumbled upon medical records. Apparently, Harvey has very bad anger management issues among others. His family went great lengths para lang pagtakpan si Harvey because you know, they’re involved in a charity.”

“Ano’ng kinalaman nito sa gagawin ko?”

Pamela shook her head. “To make the perfect crime, you have to focus on the details, Mallary. The details.”

God, who are you, Pamela?

“We’ll stick to your original plan… with some modifications,” she continued. “You’ll lure Thomas to a room. Then you need to bring Sabrina there, too.”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “And how will I even do that? I’d seen them a few times—palaging kadikit ni Harvey ’yung babae.”

“What will you even do without me?” naiiling na sabi niya. “You have a clone of Nathan’s phone, right?” she asked, and I nodded. “Text Harvey from there. Tell him to meet Nathan outside.”

“They’ll just find out that Nathan didn’t send the text,” I replied.

“Harvey will soon forget that after the second part of your plan commences,” Pamela said with a smile so devious that I felt shivers running down my spine. “Now, let’s give them a motive.”

Habang hinihintay ko si Harvey na makabalik, I opened Thomas’ email then downloaded the file that Pamela sent from an untraceable source. Then I created a scheduled email.

Three days from now.

Maybe that would suffice. I really needed to finish this game. I couldn’t risk staying longer. I needed to disappear once again.

After I was done, a few minutes passed, and I saw Harvey walking. Naka-kunot ang noo niya dahil wala si Sabrina sa pinag-iwanan niya.

“Ary,” he said when he saw me. “Have you seen—”

But he didn’t finish his sentence because I accidentally bumped into him. I even poured the content of my drink on his shirt.

“I’m sorry,” I said as I began to wipe the stain. I acted like I was smashed in front of him, in front of the cameras. I didn’t need them all looking at my direction. As far as they were concerned, I was Pierce’s drunk, innocent girlfriend.

“It’s fine,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I just… had too much to drink,” I slurred.

“It’s fine,” he repeated.

“But if you’re looking for that girl… I think I saw her going up… or I don’t know…” I said, then giggled.

“Thanks,” he said, then went upstairs.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

“Showtime,” I thought to myself, as I sent Harvey a series of pictures that would make him lose his mind.

XI. One Way Or Another

XI. One Way Or Another

“What are—oh my god,” I uttered to myself when I looked at the pictures Pamela handed to me. Halos maputol ang paghinga ko habang tinitignan ko iyong mga picture.

I already knew that Thomas was a pig, but this… this was so fucking low of him.

“Saan mo ’to nakuha?” I asked Pamela as I shuffled through the pictures. The pictures covered a span of two months. And the pictures were so clear—Thomas and Sabrina couldn’t deny that it was the two of them.

“I have my ways,” Pamela said, shrugging. “You have to get Thomas inside the room first, then si Sabrina… and for the finale, si Harvey. You think you can handle that?” she asked me.

It felt like them was a drum inside my chest.

My heart was beating so fast.

This… this felt like everything’s starting. For real.

I nodded at her. “Pero… akala ko magkaibigan si Harvey at Thomas,” I uttered, still in utter disbelief. Maiintindihan ko pa kung si Nathan ang ginago ni Thomas. Pero si Harvey? Among his friends, it was Harvey who Thomas was always with.

I guess devils can’t change their ways.

“You seriously should stop assuming, Mallary. These people… I don’t even think they have limitations. Thinking that the enemies have limits, that’s the first step to getting yourself killed.”

Hindi pa rin ako maka-hinga. Isa-isa kong tinignan iyong mga litrato. Mga litrato ni Thomas at Sabrina na pumapasok sa hotel room. I didn’t even know if they had sex inside that room… but if these photos would be given to Harvey? To Harvey who had a bad history of anger management?

Fuck.

Hell would break loose.

“Yan ’yung panahon na break pa si Sabrina at Harvey. ’Wag mo na akong tanungin kung paano nangyari o bakit magkasama si Sabrina at Thomas dahil hindi ko alam,” she said while I was still going through the incriminating photos. “What’s important is we’re now giving Harvey a motive.”

Napa-tingin ako kay Pamela. “A motive?”

She smiled—the kind of smile that would make the hair at my nape shiver in fear.

“To destroy his friend,” she said with a sinister smile. “That’s what you want, right?”

---

“Fuck.”

I almost flinched when I heard a loud bang coming from upstairs. Hindi ko sigurado kung marami bang naka-rinig ’nun dahil sobrang lakas ng tugtog. Or because most of the guests were already hammered.

Nang sigurado na ako na nagsisimula na iyong plano, iniwan ko iyong cellphone ni Thomas sa isang gilid. With the chaos I brought upon them, he wouldn’t bother to wonder kung bakit nasa sahig iyong phone niya.

After that, I sneaked inside the room where I left Nathan. I lay beside him, and rested my head against his body. I closed my eyes as I silently counted until the door swung open.

“Nathan.”

Andres.

I felt Andres poking Nathan until the latter woke up. I pretended that I was sleeping soundly. Hindi ko alam kung naniniwala sila, but when I heard faint voices, I figured that the mess was so big that these two guys didn’t even bother going out to talk.

Huh. It seemed like surprising them was a good plan. They were not prepared for this. No contingency plan for the devils.

I didn’t understand what they were talking about—all I knew was that not a minute passed when both of them were already out the door.

After making sure that they’re already out, I slightly opened the door just to witness the scene I created.

“I’m sorry,” I heard Sabrina said. She was trying to hug Harvey, but Harvey was already raging.

“Don’t touch me, you fucking slut!” sigaw niya habang pilit na inaalis iyong hawak ni Sabrina sa kanya. “You fucking dirty slut!”

My chest tightened. Walang kasalanan si Sabrina dito… but fuck, she was right in the middle of this—smack right at the middle.

“You’re just over-acting, Harvey,” Thomas said while wiping the bloodied side of his lips. “She’s not even that good in bed.”

God, Thomas.

I really wanted to staple his mouth sometimes.

“Shut up,” Andres snapped. Biglang napa-tigil si Thomas nang magsalita si Andres.

Sighing, I, then, reached for my phone. I couldn’t have them calmed down. I already began this. I needed them to hate each other so fucking much that they wouldn’t doubt when the documents were leaked to the press.

The motive. I’d give Harvey a motive so fucking good no one would suspect a thing.

I sent a document to Harvey’s phone, and three other pictures that would surely make him lose his shit.

It was like I was watching a movie. Binuksan ni Harvey iyong document. His mouth went agape; his breathing more ragged than ever.

He fucking looked murderous.

There were tears in his eyes—he was that angry.

Sino ba naman ang hindi magagalit kapag nalaman mo na pina-abort ng girlfriend mo ’yung anak mo… o anak ng best friend mo?

It would surely drive him crazy wondering whose child it was who got aborted.

Pamela… she’s one devious woman, that’s for sure.

No word was said. Harvey just went for the kill, and assaulted Thomas. He was so enraged that even Nathan was too stunned to do anything. Sabrina tried to help, but she was pushed away that she hit her back against the side of a table. I saw her yelp in pain, but Harvey was on the verge of killing Thomas that no one noticed her.

Shit.

I didn’t want to hurt her, but she was a collateral damage.

“You motherfucking piece of shit! I will kill you!” sigaw ni Harvey habang sinusuntok si Thomas. He was punching him—never stopping until I couldn’t even recognize Thomas’ face.

But Thomas? He was laughing like this was just a big joke.

“It’s just a pussy, Thomas,” he said, laughing. God, he was a devil.

Huminga ako nang malalim. I couldn’t have Harvey kill Thomas; that wasn’t a part of the plan. I wanted restitution, but I didn’t need them killed. Death is too easy a payment. I needed them to suffer for the rest of their lives… rotting behind bars. To feel powerless—like the rest of us against them.

“Oh, my god,” I said, acting surprised upon seeing the scene before me. “Pierce!” sigaw ko. “Get Harvey off of Thomas!” I shouted, acting scared of what was happening.

Good thing Blake wasn’t here because I was sure that he’d look at me like I planned this. Not the he was wrong; but I really didn’t need him questioning my every move.

Nathan looked at me first, before breaking the fight. Mabilis kong nilapitan si Sabrina, at saka tinulungan na tumayo.

“Are you okay?” I asked, worried. I saw her hitting the edge of the table; it must have hurt like a fucking bitch.

Sabrina didn’t answer me; she was just staring at Harvey while tears were falling from her eyes. Tumayo siya nang makita niya na papaalis na si Harvey.

“Harvey—”

Pero natigilan siya nang mapa-tingin siya kay Andres. He didn’t even say a word, but his eyes were enough to send the message across.

“Next time, know where to draw the line,” Andres said to Thomas before following Harvey.

I just realized that I wasn’t breathing when Andres left. That guy was every definition of intense. He didn’t even have to say anything. His mere presence was enough to make you feel scared for your life.

Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Nathan. I subtly picked up Thomas’ phone, and handed it to him na para bang nahulog lang ’to sabang sinisira ni Harvey iyong mukha niya.

“Let’s bring you to the hospital,” I said, wincing as I stared at his face. Harvey knew how to throw a punch.

Thomas shook his head, then tried to say something, but stopped midway probably because it hurt even to speak. Putok iyong gilid ng labi niya.

Nathan looked at me, his face serious and nervous at the same time. “Bring Sabrina to the hospital. I’ll look after Thomas,” he said with finality. I guessed they’d clean after the mess.

But the plan was already starting. And I doubted if they could clean up after the mess that I created.

---

To: Pierce

Busy?

From: Pierce

Yes. Sorry.

I smirked to myself. Two days had passed since the incident. I hadn’t heard from Nathan since then. I figured he’s still busy since I created such a mess.

“You sure this will work?” I asked Pamela. We were at a coffee shop, waiting for news to break.

She nodded, then sipped her lemon water. “This plan is solid,” she said, then handed me her phone. “See? Worked like magic.”

Aranza Shipping Industry Gets Involved in Drug Smuggling in Cebu

Cebu, Philippines—Last week, Philippine authorities seized more than 600 kg of methamphetamines in the largest such bust since the government launched a crackdown on drug-smuggling in cooperation with the Southeast Asian nation, Chinese customs said on Monday.

China is the main source of methamphetamine consumed in the Philippines, which is caught in the throes of a brutal war on drugs waged by government. Five people were arrested in a raid that was tipped by an anonymous source.

The drugs were able to reach the Philippine islands with the use of the ships courtesy of the Aranza Shipping Industry. Because of this, a warrant was given to halt all operations until the investigation was ongoing. This came as a big shock since the Aranza Shipping Industry has just signed an agreement with the government as a part of the five-year economic plan of the president.

The Aranzas still remain silent about the issue.

“You’re frightening.”

Pamela looked me straight in the eyes. “You’re not so good yourself.”

“So, what happens after this?” tanong ko sa kanya.

“You scheduled the email, right?” I nodded. “Thomas probably thinks that Harvey is the anonymous tipper. Maybe he’ll confront him, maybe not. But the thing is, tomorrow, incriminating documents about the scam in the charity of the Melendrezes will come out… And I’m pretty sure that Harvey will think that it’s Thomas who leaked the documents.”

I stared back at her. “Paano ka nakaka-sigurado? Won’t they wonder why everything seemed to be… so orchestrated?”

Pamela smiled at me. “An angry person is a person without reason.”

---

The whole news world was flooded with news about the scandal involving the Aranzas. Soon enough, the Melendrezes would follow.

A crack was already inflicted on the wall. Sigurado ako na sandali na lang, lalabas na rin ang katotohanan. After all, why bother protecting someone who stabbed you on the back?

“Hey, it’s okay,” I told Nathan. He’s been saying sorry for always ditching me. “What will happen now?” I asked, attempting to sound genuinely worried for Thomas.

“I can’t talk about the case,” he said.

I sighed. Abogado nga pala siya. Minsan kasi nalilimutan ko lalo na kapag wala siyang magawa sa mga kaibigan niya. For a lawyer, he lacked the backbone.

Reaching for his hand, I looked at him, and said, “Just take your time. Thomas needs you right now.”

He smiled at me. “What did I do to deserve you?”

You killed Molly, that’s what.

---

That night, Thomas sent me a text. He was asking where I was. Kasama ko pa si Nathan, but I quickly excused myself. I already started their downfall, but I shouldn’t stop until they’re at the ground.

Until they couldn’t sink lower anymore.

“You look like shit,” sabi ko nang makita ko iyong mukha ni Thomas. His whole face was purple. There were also stitches.

“Wow, thanks,” he said, wincing with every word that came out of his stupid mouth. He deserved every inch of this. He was such an asshole. He shouldn’t have messed with Sabrina knowing that Harvey’s in love with the girl.

“You okay?” I asked, sitting on the sofa. I couldn’t be near him. He disgusted me down to the core.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Sure? The news are all about your family,” sabi ko na parang may pakielam talaga ako.

“That’ll be fine,” he said dismissively. Like he was sure that the issue would just magically go away… Like all the other cases… but I’d make sure that this would be his downfall.

I may not be able to make you pay for Molly’s death, but you’d all pay one way or another.

XII. Nothing Left To Lose

XII. Nothing Left To Lose

I stared at Thomas, wondering how could someone be as… evil as him? Was he dropped so much as a child that it literally messed with his head?

“Must be nice to have powerful parents,” I commented, shrugging. Pamela said that I had to sympathize with him—as if he needed that. But she argued that for Thomas to feel really at ease with me, I needed him to feel like I could understand him.

That I was the only one left.

After all, his best friend just sold him out—well, that didn’t really happen, but Thomas didn’t need to know that.

“You never talked about your parents,” Thomas replied.

“Didn’t think you’re interested,” I shot back.

The side of his lips rose. “Maybe I am.”

I laughed. “Oh, Thomas,” I said, brushing him off. “We both know you’re just interested in me because I’m with your friend. Let’s not pretend there’s more to it.”

Crossing my legs, I cocked my head, challenging him. I knew his game—this was the way to reel him in harder.

“So, what about your parents, Ary?” he asked.

I arched my brow. “What’s with the sudden interest?”

He shrugged. “Maybe you’re the one who will finally made me quit playing,” he said, staring so deep in my eyes that for a second, I was afraid that maybe he’d see the lies I was hiding.

I shifted uncomfortably on my seat. “Both my parents are dead.” Well, at least, for me they’re both dead. “I had two siblings.”

“Had?”

I nodded. “The one was murdered, the other one committed suicide,” I answered, looking him straight in the eyes as I did.

But him being a devil, the word suicide didn’t even made him feel anything. No reaction. At all.

He just didn’t fucking care.

“Your life seems to come straight out of a movie,” he commented.

“Well, that’s life. A bitch,” I answered, shrugging. “But I have my friends, so that’s fine,” I continued. I stared at him, then took a deep breath as I began the third leg of the plan. “Nagpunta na ba sila Harvey dito?”

He scoffed.

Bingo.

“I mean, I didn’t completely understand what happened the last time, but you’re still friends, right?”

As I looked at him, I knew that our plan succeeded. Maybe inside his head, he was thinking what we wanted him to think.

Na si Harvey iyong may kasalanan.

“I don’t want to talk about that asshole,” he said.

“You need a friend, Thomas. Admit it or not, you’re going through a hard time. Someone just tipped off the police—telling them about your family’s involvement in drugs.”

He scoffed again.

Kinunot ko iyong noo ko. Then I acted shocked and disgusted.

Seriously, even I was scaring myself at how good I was becoming at this circus I was playing in.

“You…” I trailed, letting the feeling of disbelief materialize. “You don’t think it was Harvey who did that… right?”

If he wasn’t thinking that already, then I already planted the idea inside his head. Pretty sure that he’d come to his own terms and blame Harvey for everything.

Sighing, I said, “I mean… sure, he’s mad… but for him to cause a mess this big? Surely, he did know where to draw the line,” I continued, quoting Andres in the process.

I forced myself to stop smiling when I saw the conflicted look in Thomas’ face. Like he was just coming into realization that it was really his best friend who betrayed him like that.

“Pero hindi naman siguro…” sabi ko.

“You don’t know Harvey,” he said, the spite was so palpable I could almost taste it.

“But he’s your friend.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

Tumayo ako at saka lumapit sa kanya.

“I’m sure he won’t betray you like that. Friends protect each other…” I said, then whispered, “because if not, why even bother?”

I placed my hand on top of his head, and gently brushed his hair. He looked up to me, and I smiled at him.

You’re mine now to play, Thomas Marius Aranza III.

---

I stayed for a little while, and humored Thomas. I needed to make him feel like I was the only one he could trust… After all, another bomb was about to drop.

It was such a busy week for me. Good thing that Nathan was preoccupied with his work and his friends kaya hindi na muna kami nagpapakita. He always told me he’s thankful that I was very understanding, hindi niya alam na iniintindi ko rin iyong kaibigan niya.

The next morning, I woke up with a big smile on my face. Ngayon naka-schedule na magsend iyong email ni Thomas sa press. I just knew that he’d call me. After all, he couldn’t trust his friends anymore… not after all the shits I planted inside his head.

“What?” I said after I called David. I woke up with 10 missed calls from him. And he knew I didn’t like people calling without texting first. It gave me anxiety.

“Someone’s looking for you.”

I arched my brow. “Who?” I asked. I was careful not to make many acquaintances over the years. I quickly came into realization that when it came to friends, it’s always quality over quantity. Didn’t need people who’d stab me on the back.

“Don’t know. Never seen the man before… but he asked around about you,” he said, then halted. When he spoke again, his voice sounded nervous. “Do you think…” he said.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit pera dalawang tao ang pumasok agad sa isip ko nang sinabi sa akin ni David na may naghahanap sa akin. Hindi naman ako tanga. I was aware that they put a tail on me—and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t just completely shake it off.

It’s like they didn’t want me, but at the same time, they couldn’t let go of the leash.

And with the rate things were going, I didn’t want to be their replacement.

“I can’t deal with that right now, David.”

“Alright,” he breathed. “Just take care, okay, Mall?”

I smiled, though he couldn’t see me. “Of course,” I replied. “And Dave? I think I’ll see you soon,” I said with a smile on my face.

This nightmare? I had a feeling that it’s about to be over very soon.

---

It was almost dinner time when my phone rang. Just in time for the seven o’clock news.

“Hello?” I answered the call, sounding a little groggy. I needed to pretend that I still wasn’t aware that the media was having a field day or week, probably? I mean, the Aranzas

and the Melendrezes both in a controversy in the same week? Press wouldn’t have a problem with headlines for at least a week.

“You down?” Thomas asked, his voice sounding stressed.

“Ha? Bakit?” I replied, sounding confused. I turned on the TV, and was greeted with the headline ‘Melendrez Charity Involved in the Biggest Scam in Decades.’ I sat down, and put the TV in mute. Hindi ko mapigilan iyong ngiti sa mukha ko nang makita ko iyong mukha ni Harvey sa TV. And there was Nathan, as well.

To: Pierce

Saw the news. Hope you’re okay.

Of course I still needed to be the perfect girlfriend. There were five of them, and I was still yet to be done with the two. Hindi pwede na mawala sa akin si Nathan—he’s the end to this all.

“Need to drink,” Thomas said.

“And your friends aren’t around?” sagot ko.

“I can’t be with those shitfaces right now,” he replied. “So, you down?”

“Alright,” I said. “But I pick the place,” I continued, then ended the call. I knew Thomas liked it when I was assertive—totally opposite of all the girls who fed at his palm.

While I was picking my clothes, Pamela called. Agad kong kinuha iyong cellphone ko dahil hindi naman tumatawag si Pamela. She had this weird rule of not calling.

“What?” I asked.

“I’ll call one of the disposable phones,” she said.

“I thought no—”

“I know, but I ought to break the rules sometimes,” she began. “I need to tell you something,” she continued then ended the call. True enough, not ten seconds later, one of the disposable phones rang. “I’ll be very quick.”

“Nasaan ka ba?”

“Work stuff,” she replied, somehow, that didn’t seem very convincing. I refused to believe that there’s nothing more to Pamela… or if that is even her real name.

“Anyway, nung sinabi mo sa akin na parang wala lang kay Thomas ’yung nangyari, I decided to dig around,” sabi niya. I decided to just tell Pamela everything, since she’s the one who’s obsessed with little details. And I just wasn’t as good as her. No shame in admitting defeat. After all, I didn’t plan on making a career as a spy. “As of the moment, all of their ships are in the custody of the government, their accounts are frozen, and the whole family’s in the no-fly list.”

“I know that,” I said. Every news outlet talked about that issue.

“But… of course, like every evil family, they had an offshore account.”

Agad na kumunot ang ulo ko. “Had?”

“Yeah… Had. I transferred all the money to their account here in the Philippines.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. “You did what?! Paano mo nagawa ’yun?!” gulat na gulat na sabi ko. David’s a banker. Sometimes, he’d bore me with his tales about finance. And I may not be finance savvy, but I knew enough para malaman na offshore accounts were not for garnishment. That’s why outlaw people liked putting their money in their Swiss accounts.

God, Pamela could be real scary when she wanted to.

“Remember when you won against Thomas?” she asked. “Well, he’s stupid enough to transfer the money from their Swiss account. I just had to work to find the connection. I found all their 8 accounts from different countries,” she said like it was just some thing she did because she’s fucking bored.

“Wait… are you saying that Thomas is broke?”

I couldn’t see her, but I could just imagine the sinister look on her face.

“I’m saying that now, Thomas has nothing left to lose.”

---

Pagdating ko sa sinabi ko na lugar kay Thomas, agad akong natigilan dahil nakita ko si Blake. He was looking at me. I cocked my head.

“What?” I said.

“You know, it’s weird,” he began.

“Yeah, it’s weird that you’re in my face again,” I shot at him. I needed to appear tough in front of him, because in reality, Blake scared the shit out of me. More than Andres did.

There’s something about his silence that is threatening.

“I know what you’re doing,” Blake said when I tried to get away from him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied. Nagsimula na akong maglakad papasok ng bar nang bigla akong matigilan.

“Mallary Esquivel.”

Shit.

I couldn’t move.

I couldn’t breathe.

It’s like the world stopped spinning the moment I heard him say my name.

Then Blake leaned in, and whispered in my ear, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

My heart was beating so fast.

My chest was tightening.

I was… trembling in fear.

Blake never touched me, never threatened me, yet somehow, my whole system trembles at the sight of him. And when he talks, I just… lose it.

“W-why?” I had to ask.

“I’d like to see you try,” he replied, leaving me breathless.

XIII. The Girl Who Cried Wolf

XIII. The Girl Who Cried Wolf

I almost jumped when Thomas touched the small of my back. I didn’t realize that I was holding my breath until he asked me if I was all right.

“Y-yeah,” I replied, my heart still racing so bad inside my chest. Ilang minuto nang wala si Blake, pero iyong tibok ng puso ko, hindi pa rin humihinto.

I just… didn’t know what he was playing.

If he already knew about my plans… about me… why didn’t he say anything? Why was he letting me do my plans? Ano ba ang gusto niya?

God, he’s so good at messing with my head without even trying!

“You sure?” Thomas asked.

Inayos ko iyong sarili ko, at saka tumango. ‘Get your head in the game,’ I reminded myself. Blake still wasn’t saying anything—at least for the moment. Hindi ko kayang isipin mag-isa kung ano ang gagawin ko sa kanya. I needed Pamela for this, but I wasn’t sure if I could reach her. She said she’s out of the grid for a few days for work.

“Are you okay?” balik na tanong ko kay Thomas. Pamela said that Thomas and his family lost a few hundred millions because of the controversy. All of their accounts and assets were frozen. I imagined that that was heartbreaking—even for someone as heartless as Thomas.

“No, but I don’t want to talk about that,” he said, the whipped out a cigarette. “You smoke?” tanong niya.

I shook my head. “But I can still be a good company,” I said, though I was already hating the idea of being around him while he smoked. I could already feel the lung cancer cells waving at me.

“Let’s just get inside,” he said, cocking his head.

“Are you alone?” tanong ko. I just saw Blake, and I didn’t want to risk being around him. I still hated the fact that he had some sort of control over me. I needed to sort things out before seeing him again. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me at loss for words. Again.

“Yeah,” he said. Kung mag-isa lang si Thomas, bakit nandito si Blake? Did he purposely run into me just to mess with my head?

To tell me that he’s onto me?

To make me even more paranoid?!

I tried to breathe hard para kumalma ako. Pagpasok namin sa loob, agad kaming dumiretso sa isang gilid. It was a little different since whenever Thomas was in a club, he always stays in the center. He loved being the center of attention, but tonight, it was like he’s trying to stay away from anyone’s sight.

Look who’s affected.

“Thanks, but I’ll still drive,” I said when he offered me a drink.

“Get an Uber or something,” he demanded.

I gave in, and sipped a little. After all, ako naman ang dahilan kung bakit siya nagkakaganyan. But I shouldn’t feel pity—he deserved every inch of this. Hindi lang si Molly iyong ginago niya—kahit best friend niya na si Harvey, nagawa niyang gaguhin. Kaya bakit ako maaawa sa kanya?

I wasn’t even done with my first glass, pero nakaka-tatlong baso na agad si Thomas.

“Are you trying to get alcohol poisoning?” tanong ko nang magsasalin na siya ng pang-apat.

He scoffed. “I’m just fucking pissed, that’s all,” he said.

“Harvey?” I asked, picking up the glass, and looking at him.

“Yeah,” he replied like a sulking boy.

“What did he do again?”

“He’s fucking blaming me for the issue.”

“About the scam?” I asked, and he nodded. Issue after issue. I wondered how much more do I need to push before Thomas jumps over the edge. “Why would he even be thinking that?” gulat na tanong ko.

“I guess another screw in his head got loose,” he shot. “And I should be blaming him. He’s the one who fucked with me first.”

Was he fucking serious? He literally fucked Harvey’s girlfriend. May short-term memory ba ’tong tao na ’to? Did he think that the world revolves around him, and that we’re all in duty to serve him?

“He’s still your friend,” I said, shrugging.

He just scoffed.

Habang busy sa pagpapaka-lunod sa alak si Thomas, tinignan ko kung nagreply na ba si Pamela. I just sent her an SOS text because I really needed her right now. I couldn’t deal with Blake on my own. Baka kung ano ang magawa ko. With what we’re doing, one mistake could send us both to our graves.

Or maybe just me. I had this feeling that if I die, Pamela could still get away unscathed.

Nang may tumawag kay Thomas, naiwan ako mag-isa. There was a text from Nathan asking me where I was. Bigla akong nagtaka. Nathan never asked me about my whereabouts—something about him trusting me enough not to lie to him.

Dahil ba ’to kay Blake?

Did he tell Nathan about me? Pero sabi niya—

And why was I even trusting his words? Amongst all of them, Blake was the one I should be wary about the most. His silence was unnerving—dangerous, even. I should never trust him.

“Hey,” I immediately said when Nathan answered my call. “Bakit mo ko hinahanap?” I asked, not beating around the bush. My heart was beating erratically inside my chest. It felt like I needed to hear it from him—na walang sinabi sa kanya si Blake.

But even if Blake did tell him something, sasabihin ba sa akin ni Nathan?

Even if he claimed that he liked me… was that enough for him to protect me? To choose me over his friends ?

“Are you with Thomas?”

Thomas?

Not Blake?

I paused for a while. If I lie to him… I knew Nathan wasn’t stupid. And it’s not as if he could do anything. Wala naman talaga siyang ginagawa laban sa mga kaibigan niya.

But things had changed—for the worse. Thomas lost it all already… Nathan had nothing to fear… maliban na lang kung ang sikreto ng nangyari kay Molly iyong dahilan kaya wala siyang magawa.

Things were slowly falling into their places.

“Yeah,” I said, finally deciding to push Nathan a little.

Nanatili akong tahimik habang hinihintay iyong sagot niya. Would he be the little coward that he always had been… or would he finally start pushing back?

“Stay with him.”

Bigla akong natigilan sa sagot niya.

“What?” hindi ko napigilan na sabihin. Although Nathan wouldn’t say anything, I knew he hated it whenever Thomas would touch me… tapos ngayon gusto niyang samahan ko si Thomas?

What the fuck was happening?

“I can’t explain—”

“Well, you should,” I cut him off. “You’re asking me to stay with Thomas, Pierce. I need to know why.”

For some reason, it felt like things were escalating faster than usual. Hindi ko rin inaasahan na malalaman ni Blake kung sino ako. I fucking underestimated him too much. He’s so good at keeping himself at the dark that I failed to see the darkness that loomed over him.

Far into the game, I still made mistakes.

I heard Nathan sighing. “Have you watched the news?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied. “That’s why Thomas asked to see me.”

I knew this had something to do with Harvey, but I still needed to confirm. With Pamela missing in action, I felt like I was missing a hand. I needed to be extra careful with everything—one mistake could be fatal.

“Harvey is…” he trailed. “A little complicated. Learning about Thomas and Sabrina is already too much for him. But when he learned about the scam his family’s currently involved in, it’s just… I can’t explain.”

“He’s dangerous,” I continued for him.

Sinabi na sa ’kin ’to ni Pamela. Na may problema si Harvey—anger management problem. And with the way things were going, it wasn’t the hard to imagine that we really did push him over the edge.

“Very,” Nathan replied. “And Harvey believes that it was Thomas who leaked the document.”

Hindi ako nagsalita sandali.

Para isipin niya na naguguluhan din ako sa nangyayari.

“…but why would he even think that?” I almost whispered, like I was too overwhelmed with the way things were unfolding—perfectly, if I were to use my own word.

“It’s a long story,” he said.

“Wow, thanks for keeping me in the dark,” I shot at him.

Nathan wasn’t in front of me, but it was as if I could see him running his fingers through his hair out of frustration. He always did so.

“It’s better this way,” he said.

“Yeah, because ignorance is bliss, right?”

“Babe, that’s not—”

Then I saw him.

Fuck him.

Palagi lang ba siyang naka-tingin sa akin kapag hindi ko alam? Kaya ba madali niyang nalaman kung sino ako? Dahil habang abala ako sa iba, siya naman ang abala sa akin?

He stared at me.

I stared at him.

So, he was fucking done ignoring me.

“Never mind,” I told Nathan. “Blake is here. Maybe I’ll ask him.”

If this were a normal relationship, I would’ve hanged up my phone. But I needed to know how Nathan would react to Blake being around me.

I needed to figure out who’s pulling the strings.

I needed to figure out who’s the beginning to ending this.

“No!” he shouted. “Ary, please.”

“Then why?” tanong ko sa kanya habang naka-tingin ako kay Blake. He was looking at me—his face void of anything, but that only made him more terrifying.

I didn’t know what he was thinking.

And he wasn’t giving out anything.

It was like I was playing blind in a game only he knows the rules.

“My friends…” he said, like he was pained to tell me this. “They’re dangerous.”

“How?”

I heard him cursing.

Nathan almost never curses.

He really didn’t want me around Blake. But he only made me want to be around Blake more. Even if he scared the shit out of me.

“I’ll tell you in person. I can’t explain through phone,” he said. “But please…” he pleaded. “Don’t talk to Blake.”

“Okay,” I said, but we both knew I was lying.

Nang matapos ang tawag ko kay Nathan, agad akong lumapit kay Blake. And with every step, I could feel my heart raging inside my chest. But I had to pacify myself. I needed to learn how to calm myself around him.

It’s Blake.

If he wanted me dead, I would already be dead. And since I was still breathing, I knew he needed me for something.

“What do you want?” tanong ko sa kanya. Hindi ko nagawang magsalita kanina dahil sa bigla sa sinabi niya. But the call with Nathan told me that Blake’s behind everything.

That if I really wanted to end this game, it’s him I should end.

Blake didn’t move. He just continued to stare at me.

“Paano mo nalaman kung sino ako?” tanong ko.

“The eyes,” he said. Two words. Two words from him were enough to make me tremble up to my toes.

I clenched my jaw. “Kung alam mo na kung sino ako, bakit hindi mo sinasabi sa kanila?” matapang na tanong ko.

The way Blake stared at me, it was like he knew every piece of me. That every lie that came out of my mouth, he knew it even before I knew it.

“You came here all the way from New York. Who am I to ruin your fun?”

Mas lalong sumikip ang dibdib ko.

Tinignan ko siya.

“Did you do it?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied.

“You didn’t even—”

He smiled.

The kind that made me fear for my life.

“Fear, Mallary,” he said, making my spine shiver in terror. “It’s a way to keep people’s mouth shut.”

I looked at him. I was breathing so heavily.

“I’m not afraid of you,” I told him.

“Maybe you’re not… but everyone else?” he said, then smiled. “The girl who cried wolf. That’s you.”

XIV. Class of 2015

XIV. Class of 2015

My chest was heaving in anger. Did he just blatantly confess to Molly’s death, and told me that there’s nothing that I could do? Because everyone here fears him?

God, I could just kill him right now!

I tried to calm myself down, but I couldn’t be calmed down. Sobrang panginginig ng mga kamay ko. I tried to ball my fists, but the anger inside me was nowhere near subsiding. All I knew was that I hated this guy in front of me.

I hated how he knew he’s protected.

That he’s above the law.

Above everything.

“You… killed Molly?” I asked. I just wanted to hear it straight from the devil’s mouth. Na pinatay niya si Molly. Na siya iyong dahilan kung bakit nangyayari ang lahat ng ’to.

Blake looked at me. There was a hint of twisted amusement on his face.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. It doesn’t matter, does it?” he asked while slightly grinning at me. I was slightly tempted to strangle him.

I counted inside my head. I could feel myself slowly being eaten by anger, but I knew I needed to be logical. I needed to be rational. I needed to ask him the right questions because I didn’t know when he’d let me be this close again.

“It does matter,” I said with my small voice.

Akala ko matapang ako, pero ngayon na nasa harap ko siya, it was like I was helpless, powerless. It’s like he’s holding the strings, and I was just a puppet dancing at his every tug.

Blake didn’t say anything. He was just staring at me with those cold, ruthless eyes. I knew he was enjoying my despair, otherwise, he would’ve already divulged my identity. He would’ve already told his friends about what I did.

“Did Nathan really rape Molly?”

I stared at him.

And prayed.

I just wanted to fucking know.

A small smirk appeared on his face. “Does it really matter who did what, Mallary?” he asked while staring straight into my eyes. Mas lalo lang lumalim ang paghinga ko dahil sa ginawa niya.

“It matters to me!” I shouted.

“If it really matters to you, then you find it out yourself,” sabi niya bago ako talikuran. I was about to run after him but I heard Thomas calling my name. I cursed under my breath. Buhay pa nga pala ’tong gagong ’to.

---

Staying with Thomas was the last thing I wanted to do. Amongst the five of them, he’s the one I couldn’t stomach to be with. He’s a literal pig. He fucked his best friend’s girlfriend, and he wasn’t even sorry about it! Hindi ko alam na may nag-e-exist pa pala talaga na ganoong tao.

“Won’t your dog get mad?” he asked as I was helping him get inside his condo. Well, at least may condo pa siya. I was starting to believe that he’s literally broke.

I rolled my eyes. “Pierce’s the one who asked me to accompany you,” sabi ko sa kanya. I knew I shouldn’t be telling him this, but I was seriously tired of him acting like a real asshole towards Nathan.

He scoffed. “Really…”

“Really,” I reiterated. “Apparently, Harvey’s mad or something,” I said. I didn’t want to tell him that I knew of the loose screws in Harvey’s head. But on the other hand, I was excited to see what Harvey could do. I mean, he must be real scary when triggered to the point na si Nathan na mismo ang nagsabi na samahan ko muna si Thomas—si Thomas na walang konsensya.

Thomas dropped his body on the couch. Naka-tayo lang ako na naka-tingin sa kanya. He placed his arm on his eyes. I saw him mouthing a curse.

Tss.

He’s acting like he’s unaffected, but it was so evident that he’s affected by all this. After all, without money, sino ba siya? He’s just another pig in the city.

“Do you want coffee or something?” I asked him.

Umiling siya. “You can leave.”

I squinted my eyes at him. “Nathan told me to stay—”

“I can manage, Ary,” he cut me off. Tinanggal niya iyong braso sa pagkakatakip sa mata niya. He sat down, then brushed his fingers through his hair. Then, he let out a heavy sigh.

It was weird, yet satisfying, seeing Thomas like this. I mean, after all the shit he pulled, it’s nice to see karma working its way in his life. To vindicate everything he’d done.

“Yeah, right,” I scoffed. I sat on the one-seater across him. “Don’t you need to have your face checked?” I asked. His face was just getting worse. ’Di ko nga alam kung bakit nagagawa niyang pumunta sa club nang ganyan ang itsura. The public knows about the scandal his family’s involved in, I was sure that seeing him this smashed wasn’t going to be of any help.

“That’s the least of my priorities now,” sabi niya. Bahagyang napaawang iyong bibig ko dahil sa narinig ko sa kanya. It was just so unbecoming of him to be this… I didn’t know. It’s throwing me off.

“Aren’t you worried about Harvey?” tanong ko sa kanya.

Umiling siya. “Not really.”

“Why?”

Tumingin siya sa akin. Akala ko may sasabihin siya, pero wala akong narinig na kung ano pa man. In fact, he looked really confident that Harvey wouldn’t do anything stupid… as if his family’s accounts being frozen weren’t enough trouble.

“Don’t you really need coffee? You look like shit.”

“Just go home, Ary. I’m really fine.”

I rolled my eyes. “Alright. But can I use the CR first?” tanong ko sa kanya.

If it were the usual Thomas, I knew he’d suggest something, but seeing as how he’s already down, he simply just nodded. Kawawang bata.

Agad na pumasok ako sa kwarto niya. I turned to check on him, and saw that he was lying down again. I saw him texting—probably his friends. Pagpasok ko, agad kong tinignan kung may camera ba. Wala akong nakita, but I still couldn’t be too sure. Ngayon pa lang ako naka-punta sa lugar ni Thomas.

And I still couldn’t understand what the fuck Nathan was thinking asking to stay with Thomas.

Thomas’ room was… fuck, how do I even describe his room? There were ropes on the post of his bed! I couldn’t even begin to imagine kung ano ang ginagawa niya sa kwarto niya!

I was pretty sure I saw some sex toys, so nagmadali akong lumabas. I felt my eyes burning just at the mere sight of his toys. Pero bago pa ako makalabas, something caught my attention.

There was a shelf in his room.

What a fucking surprise.

Mabilis akong lumapit doon. Mas lalong napa-kunot ang noo ko nang mapansin ko kung anong klaseng mga libro ang nandoon.

“Is he a fucking lawyer, too?” nagtataka na tanong ko sa sarili ko nang makita ko kung anong klaseng mga libro iyong nasa shelf ni Thomas.

I wanted to linger longer, but I knew that Thomas would find it weird. I couldn’t also take a snap of the shelf. In case there’s a hidden camera, I didn’t want to look too suspicious.

Paglabas ko, nakita ko na may kausap si Thomas. He was near the door, pacing back and forth. He was breathing hard while massaging his temple. Good to see him actually taking this seriously. Akala ko ’di siya naapektuhan na wala na silang pera, e.

“What do you mean—” sigaw niya sa kausap niya. His face was red all over. Mukhang puputok na rin iyong ugat sa noo niya. I badly wanted to take a photo of him para souvenir, but even I knew that it would be weird. “Why the fuck would it even be an offshore account if someone can fucking mess with it?!” galit na galit na sigaw niya.

Agad na umawang ang labi ko.

Ah. That must be Pamela’s doing. Iyon iyong sinasabi niya na nilipat niya lahat ng pera sa offshore accounts ni Thomas dito sa Pilipinas. Too bad he only got the wind of it now. Wala na siyang magagawa. Kasama na iyong pera niya sa na-freeze ng gobyerno dahil sa pagkaka-sangkot nila sa drug smuggling.

And that must be why he wasn’t that worried dahil akala niya may pera pa siya… too bad he’s wrong in so many level.

“Fix it! Fix it before I fucking kill you!” sigaw niya bago babaan iyong kausap niya. He was still breathing hard seconds after the phone call ended. I was afraid to even utter a word because he looked… scary.

Pera lang pala makakapagpa-galit dito.

“Thomas…” I said after a few minutes of tensed silence.

Tinignan niya ako. “Please leave.”

Hindi na ako umangal. Mabilis akong tumayo, at naglakad palabas. But even before I could completely close the door behind me, I heard a loud crash.

---

Pag-uwi ko sa hotel, agad kong sinubukan na itext si Pamela, but I still couldn’t contact her. I didn’t bother sending another text because if she didn’t want to be found, alam ko na ’di ko talaga siya makita.

“Are you home?” Nathan asked. Nagulat ako nung tumawag siya. Akala ko kasi busy siya. I mean, I thought I did a nice job—enough to keep him occupied for a while.

“Yeah,” I said while kicking my heels off of my feet. “Are you okay?”

I heard him sighing. “Yeah…” he said, but he didn’t make an effort to sound believable. “Did Thomas do anything?”

“Even if he wanted to, I don’t think he has the energy,” I said. “Heard him having a shouting match with someone,” sabi ko. “It sounded like someone messed with his offshore accounts. I’m not sure,” I continued like I was just telling him things I heard. Like I didn’t care. “Okay ba si Harvey?” I asked because that was what I was curious about. Kung ano ang gagawin ni Harvey. Kung kailan pipitik si Harvey.

Because of Pamela’s right, shit’s about to go down once Harvey’s got enough.

“He’s… fine,” he simply said. I shrugged. Maybe they’re keeping eyes at him. After all, he’s like a bomb waiting to explode. Sino nga ba naman ang makakapagsabi ng kung ano ang magagawa ni Harvey? His family’s in the middle of a scandal, he learned the his girlfriend cheated on him, and that his best friend betrayed him. What a time to be alive for Harvey.

“Alright. Just text me if you need anything,” I told him.

“I will,” he said. “Thank you for being understanding, Ary.”

After the call, I opened the television, and my vision was flooded with news about Thomas and Harvey’s families. I prepared a bowl of popcorn as I entertained myself. I even turned the volume up. It sounds like music to my ears hearing how they’re finally getting a dose of what they deserved.

“Ayon sa inilabas na opisyal na pahayag ng PDEA, napag-alaman na sangkot ang mga Aranza sa mas marami pang transaksyon na may kinalaman sa droga. Bultu-bultong sako ng droga ang nahuli sa isa sa mga barko na papunta sana ng Davao. Hanggang ngayon ay wala pa ring opisyal na pahayag ang mga Aranza, pero natitiyak ng PDEA na sa dami ng ebidensyang hawak nila, wala ng kawala ang mga ito.”

I scoffed.

Molly’s statement could’ve sufficed, but look where it got her? Six feet under.

“The authorities are still silent as to the full length of involvement of the Melendrez family, but sources said that upon further investigation, the authorities managed to uncover covert transactions of the Melendrez that violates the Anti-Money Laundering Act of 2001.”

I rolled my eyes. Mas maganda sana kung ang binabalita nila ay lahat ng krimen na ginawa ni Harvey na pinagtakpan ng pamilya niya. I knew Harvey’s got some anger management problem, but does that really give him the license to hurt people and still go unscathed?

I skimmed through the channels, and was contented to see all the news channels focused about Thomas and Harvey’s families. After that, I got a laptop I recently bought, and muted the TV. After all, it was still calming to see their faces in television.

After typing Thomas’ name, puro articles tungkol sa mga nangyayari ngayon ang lumabas. Agad na umangat iyong gilid ng labi ko. Sinubukan kong hanapin iyong facebook account niya, pero wala akong nakita. It seemed unusual—I mean, si Thomas na mahal na mahal ang sarili, walang social media account? His lawyers—if ever he could still afford one—must have advised him to deactivate his accounts. Knowing Thomas, he probably posted a lot of pictures showing his extravagant lifestyle. Nagawa nga akong regaluhan ng dalawang milyon, e.

But I needed to know kung lawyer ba si Thomas because the shelf in his room was bugging me. Patuloy akong naghanap hanggang sa makakita ako ng picture.

Kita mo nga naman.

St. Claire’s Academy — College of Law

1H- Batch 2015

XV. Incomplete

XV. Incomplete

I tried to look for any related articles with regards to them being law students. Lahat na yata sinubukan ko. I already tried typing all possible keywords, but none whatsoever appeared.

It felt like everything had been deliberately erased.

I felt defeated.

Sinubukan ko ulit na itext si Pamela, pero wala pa rin akong nakuhang sagot. Mas lalo lang tumitindi iyong curiosity ko sa mga pangyayari. Na para bang mas lumalapit na ako sa katotohanan, pero kahit na ganon, sobrang layo ko pa rin.

And it fucking annoyed the shit out of me.

At dahil sa sobrang inis ko, pumunta ako sa kwarto, at saka kinuha iyong binigay sa akin ni Pamela na kopya ng affidavit ni Molly.

I tried reading it.

Numerous of times.

But every time I did, a little part inside me died. Hindi ko magawang isipin na nangyari ’to sa kanya… and I wasn’t there to protect her. I couldn’t stop blaming myself for what happened… Na kung sana nasa tabi niya ako, hindi mangyayari ’to. Na kung sana nasagot ko lang ’yung tawag niya, nasabihan ko sana siya na ’wag pumunta.

In the end, I could still feel that everything could have happened differently.

Na sana buhay pa si Molly.

REPUBLIC OF THE PHILIPPINES

DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE

NATIONAL PROSECUTION SERVICE

OFFICE OF THE CITY PROSECUTOR

MAKATI CITY

Molly Esquivel

Complainant

vs.

Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez

Respondent.

I.S. No. 4527197 For: Rape

x––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––x

COMPLAINT-AFFIDAVIT

I, Molly Tan Esquivel, Filipino, of legal age, and with residence at No. 67 Mckinley Hill, Forbes Park, Makati City, after having been duly sworn in accordance with law, hereby depose and state that:

(1)

This complaint-affidavit is being filed to charge Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez a.k.a “Nathan”, Filipino, of legal age, and with residence at 2211 Mckinley Road, Forbes Park, Makati City, of the crime of Rape under Article (Art.) 266 of the Revised Penal Code (RPC), committed as follows:

(a)

On 25th of July 2015, at around 9:00 in the evening, I was attending a party hosted by Mia del Castillo at Shangri-La, Makati.

(b)

There, I met a few people whom I knew from school. At around 11pm, I saw Nathan. We began to talk when his friend, Andres, suddenly approached us.

(c)

I suddenly wanted to walk away. I knew he didn’t like me especially after what happened. I didn’t know why they were blaming me for what they did, but I couldn’t question that. I simply just wanted to avoid them.

(d)

Later on, we were joined by Nathan’s other friends. They introduced themselves as if we didn’t know each other. As if they weren’t mad at me. But I didn’t want any trouble since I knew that they all belong to powerful families. It will just make things harder for me.

(e)

In an attempt to make amends, I accepted the drinks they offered. They seemed nice. I thought they were finally okay with it. We talked for a while, they asked questions, we laughed. Nathan was being weird, but his friends were funny, so I stayed.

(f)

The last thing I remembered was it being past 11pm because I tried calling someone. That was the last thing I could recall.

(g)

I was blindfolded. I didn’t know where I was, but I knew I was in a cabin. It smelled like resin everywhere, like our vacation house in Tagaytay… and there were barks of dogs everywhere.

My breathing became labored. What the fuck was Molly talking about?! Bakit siya nilapitan ni Andres? Bakit gusto niyang umalis nung lumapit ito?

What the fuck was happening?!

Mabilis kong kinuha iyong laptop ko. I tried skimming through the past emails that Molly and I exchanged, but there was nothing she mentioned about this.

She was always happy.

She was always excited to talk to me.

Fuck. Ni hindi ko man lang natanong sa kanya kung may problema ba siya.

Huminga ako nang malalim. Sinubukan kong balikan iyong iMessages namin. I needed to find something. Kahit maliit lang. I just needed to know where to start looking. Kasi nararamdaman ko na kung anuman iyong dahilan kung bakit natakot si Molly nung lapitan siya ni Andres, may kinalaman iyon sa lahat ng nangyari.

Molly: sorry late ako, Mal

Me: it’s fine. What did you do today?

Molly: wala naman…

Me: you sound downtrodden

Molly: obvious ba?

Me: yup can feel it from miles away. So whats up?

Molly: wala naman, pinatawag lang ako sa dean’s office

Me: wowwww finally being rebellious?

Molly: baliw hindi. Basta may something lang, pero ayos naman na yata siya hehe

Molly: kamusta pala? Pwede ba akong dumalaw jan this summer?

I stared at the screen.

Pinatawag siya sa dean’s office. It was off-putting. Molly was never the kind of student na pinapatawag sa dean’s office. If anything, she’s a model student.

Huminga muna ako nang malalim. If only I pushed a little; if only I was more concerned. If only I asked her what was wrong, what happened, hindi na sana umabot sa ganito.

Sinubukan ko pang maghanap sa ibang usapan namin, pero hindi na ulit nabanggit ni Molly na pinatawag siya sa dean’s office. Pero sa lahat ng usapan namin, iyon lang iyong isang pagkakataon na parang problemado siya.

Hindi ako maka-tulog. Sinubukan ko, pero hindi ko magawa. Instead, I went to Molly’s place. I wanted to turn the place upside down para lang malaman kung ano iyong nangyari… pero bago pa man ako makarating doon, napahinto ako nang maka-salubong ko si Nathan.

“Ary,” he said upon seeing me.

I halted.

My heart almost jumped out of its cage.

“I was just worried, so I came to see you,” mabilis kong sabi. Agad ko siyang nilapitan. I touched his cheek with the back of my hand, and stared at him lovingly. Bakit naman kasi sa lahat ng pagkakataon, ngayon ko pa siya nakita?! I wanted to go to Molly’s unit, and find something that would enlighten the fucking situation!

Nathan smiled a little. He looked tired. Harvey was a handful, after all. Isama pa na siya mismo ay mainit pa rin sa mata ng publiko. Kahit ano’ng sabihin niya, siya pa rin ang sinisisi ng karamihan sa pagkamatay ni Molly.

“Thank you, Ary,” sabi niya, pagkatapos ay hinuli ang kamay ko.

“Have you eaten dinner?” I asked kahit madaling-araw na.

Umiling siya. “Been busy the whole day,” he said then kissed the back of my hand. “I’m sorry for asking you to look after Thomas.”

“It’s alright. It looked like he really needed someone to look after him,” I replied. “Let’s go somewhere. You’re eating,” I declared. He just smiled, and nodded.

We drove around until we found a place that’s still open. Walang masyadong tao, but Nathan didn’t seem to mind kahit merong nakakakilala sa kanya.

“Let’s get takeout na lang,” I suggested since even I could feel their eyes on Nathan.

“Why?” he asked. He was holding my hand. Kanina pa niya ayaw pakawalan kahit nung nagda-drive siya.

“They’re looking at you,” I said, not discreetly pointing at the people who were looking at Nathan. Kung sila nga hindi nahiya na tumingin, bakit ako mahihiya na ituro sila?

Nathan just looked at them for a second, then turned his eyes on me again. “It’s alright,” he said.

“Aren’t you bothered?”

Umiling siya. “The case is already over, Ary. I wasn’t indicted. They didn’t file for an appeal. The judgment is final. That’s good enough for me,” sabi niya. Mabilis niyang binaling iyong atensyon sa menu habang pumipili ng pagkain.

My breathing deepened again.

Ganoon na lang? Just because he wasn’t found guilty in the court of law, he’d continue on like nothing fucking happened? That no one killed herself because of him?

Na dahil lasing si Molly. That because she was too intoxicated, her statements wouldn’t hold in the court of law.

Minsan, nakaka-tangina na lang.

Nasaan ang konsensya ng tao na ’to?

I quickly got my hand from his grasp. Agad siyang napa-tingin sa ’kin.

“I’ll just go to the comfort room,” I excused. Hindi ko lang maatim na hawakan siya. Sa tuwing pakiramdam ko ay walang kasalanan si Nathan, bigla siyang gagawa ng bagay na nakakapagpagalit sa ’kin.

Pagpasok ko, mabilis kong tinignan iyong sarili ko. I could see myself shaking slightly in anger, but I begged myself to calm down. Walang mangyayari kung papaganahin ko ang init ng ulo. I needed to be logical, to be rational, to play as if I have the upper hand when in fact, I felt like I was lost in a maze.

“Head in the game, Mall,” I reminded myself. “Head in the game.”

Paglabas ko, nakita ko na mayroong kape sa harap ni Nathan. There was one for me, too.

“I saw something interesting,” I told him after I sat down. Tumingin siya sa akin. “Lawyer din si Thomas?” I asked, feigning surprise.

Sandali lang iyon.

Mabilis na segundo.

Pero kitang-kita ko iyong pagbabago sa mukha niya.

“I mean, I saw a couple of law books in his unit. Really didn’t peg him as a lawyer. I mean, Thomas, really, of all people? He’s the kind who breaks the law, not one who upholds them…” sabi ko na natatawa habang medyo naiiling.

Nathan also tried to make light of the situation, but I could clearly see that he wasn’t comfortable with the situation. “He’s not really a lawyer,” he simply said.

“Dropped out?” I asked.

He didn’t clearly respond. “It’s complicated.”

I just nodded. I knew I couldn’t push it further.

Habang abala siyang kumain, nagsimula na akong mag-isip. Hindi lawyer si Thomas. Natakot si Molly nang lapitan siya ni Andres. Kinabahan siya ng lumapit iyong mga kaibigan ni Andres. Was she talking about Thomas, Harvey, and Blake?

Why was she called in the dean’s office?

Why didn’t Nathan want to tell me why Thomas wasn’t a lawyer like him? Kung sabay naman pala silang pumasok sa law school?

Fuck. I was so fucking tempted to break in that fucking dean’s office to look for the records!

“Will you still be busy tomorrow?” I asked while we were on the way back to the condo. He would just drop me off since kailangan niya daw umuwi sa bahay nila sa San Juan… o baka naman magkikita na naman sila.

He nodded. “Yeah…” he tiredly said. “We’re trying to prepare for the pleadings.”

“Do you need me to go see Thomas again?” I asked.

Umiling siya. “No,” he quickly said. “Just… stay away from this, Ary. I don’t want you getting involved,” he said like he cared.

Tumango na lang ako, at ngumiti. Nathan kissed my forehead before leaving. Mabilis akong umakyat sa unit ni Molly. I looked for anything related to why she was called to the dean’s office, but nothing turned up! Gusto ko na ring basagin iyong cellphone ko dahil hindi sumasagot si Pamela!

I was so fucking angry.

And frustrated.

I went to the secret server Pamela told me, and uploaded videos of Thomas and Sabrina. Videos Harvey surely didn’t want to see.

Bahala kayong magpatayan.

XVI. Afraid To Get Burned

XV. Afraid To Get Burned

“Shit!” mabilis na sigaw ni Nathan pagbalik ko mula sa CR. I just finished uploading all the videos I got of Thomas and Sabrina. I made sure that I uploaded all… I was getting too tired of this game. I needed everyone to know that nothing would remain the same. Not after what they did to Molly, no. There’s no way in hell that I’d let them continue to live the way they did before.

I’d destroy every normal thing in their life until chaos was the only comfort they’d know.

“What happened?” I asked, feigning concern.

“I’d explain later,” sabi niya at mabilis na naglapag ng pera sa lamesa. Nathan almost ran outside. Panic was painted all over his face. I knew it was about the video; it had to be about the video.

Nathan beat all the red lights. I almost feared for my life with how reckless he was driving. Gusto ko man siyang tanungin ay hindi ko magawa—not with that scowl on his face that seemed to be permanent.

After a few death-defying minutes, agad kaming nakarating sa condo.

“I’ll see you later,” he said.

“Why—”

“I’ll explain later,” he said, cutting me off.

I pressed my lips. Fuck. Ni hindi ko na nagawa pang sumagot dahil mabilis siyang nagdrive nang makababa ako sa sasakyan niya. I immediately hailed a cab and followed him. Hindi na ako nagtaka nang huminto ang sasakyan niya sa harap ng cabin. Ngunit mabilis na umawang ang labi ko nang imbes na pumasok ang sasakyan niya sa loob gaya ng ginagawa nila, mabilis na bumaba si Nathan mula sa sasakyan.

“Fuck,” I uttered to myself when I saw that they were all there.

I whipped my phone out, capturing everything. Nanggigigil ako dahil hindi ko marinig kung ano ang pinag-uusapan nila. Harvey looked enraged. Even from the distance, I could see how red his face was. And Thomas? Thomas looked pissed. Sino nga ba naman ang hindi magagalit kung palagi siyang pinagbibintangan sa mga bagay na hindi niya ginawa? But served him right. He’s an asshole. He deserved every inch of this.

“Don’t mind me. Look away,” I told the cab driver as I handed him a few thousand bills. I knew this would buy his silence. Ganito naman talaga. Kaunting halaga ng salapi; kaunting ginhawa. Ito lang ang katapat ng pananahimik ng ilan.

After the driver busied himself listening to music with his earphone, ibinalik ko ang atensyon ko sa kaguluhan na nangyayari sa labas. Halos mapigti ang hininga ko nang makita ko kung paano pigilan ni Nathan si Harvey, at kung paano pumagitna si Andres.

Si Blake? Kill me if he wasn’t enjoying this.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal doon. I was too engrossed with the scene that was unfolding before me. Ngunit mas umawang ang labi ko nang makita ko si Sabrina.

Holy fuck. Why was she here?!

I was holding on to the edge of my seat. A part of me was begging me to get out… to get a little closer… to know what the hell was going on. Halos mamatay ako sa kagustuhan na malaman kung ano ang pinagsisigawan nila.

But I couldn’t.

I knew I should stay.

I needed patience. That’s all I got.

Halos manginig ang mga kamay ko habang kinukuhanan lahat ng mga pangyayari. Tahimik akong nagmamasid, kasabay ng mabilis na paghinga at mabilis na tambol ng dibdib ko.

“Shit!” I cursed when I saw Harvey slap Sabrina so hard that she fell on the ground. Gusto kong lumabas para tulungan siya, pero wala akong magawa. Pakiramdam ko ay isa akong preso na nanonood sa kanila.

Nang mahulog si Sabrina ay nagsimulang magkagulo. Ni hindi ko masundan ang mga pangyayari dahil sa bilis. Ang tanging umagaw ng pansin ko ay si Blake na tahimik na naka-tingin kay Sabrina. Na sa gitna ng gulo, tahimik na lumapit si Blake kay Sabrina at mabilis itong binuhat. Mabilis na natigilan ang lahat.

I squinted my eyes, begging my vision to let me see what was happening. Ngunit masyado akong malayo. Ang tanging nakikita ko lang ay ang paggalaw nila. Nakita ko na ipinasok ni Blake sa sasakyan niya si Sabrina. Mabilis na sumunod doon si Blake at Harvey. Naiwan si Andres at Thomas.

What the fuck did just happen?!

---

We followed them. I felt like my heart was in my throat as I awaited every second. Palakas nang palakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko nang huminto kami sa harap ng emergency room ng ospital.

“Oh, my god…” I gasped when I saw Sabrina’s bloodied legs as she was being transferred on a gurney. Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. Fuck. Fuck!

My knees were trembling as I got out. I almost fell on the ground.

“That’s your work.”

My lips parted when I heard that voice.

“Still wanna play this little game, Mallary ?” he whispered in my ear.

I wanted to run. Away. But my feet wouldn’t move. Nanatili ang mga mata ko sa pintong pinagpasukan kay Sabrina. Halos hindi ako maka-hinga… Was she pregnant? Did… Did I kill her baby?

My lips quivered.

I couldn’t breathe.

“Coward,” Blake said, facing me. He looked into my eyes, as if he was trying to unearth every secret I was trying to keep. As if he was reading every fiber of my soul.

“I didn’t—”

“Didn’t expect that it’d get this far?” he cut me off. Hindi ako naka-sagot. He cocked his head, still watching my every move, still watching as I fought to keep it together. “You’re playing with fire, yet you don’t want to get burned.”

Umiling ako. “I didn’t want to kill her baby.”

“You don’t get to control what happens, Mallary. You began this; you have to see it to the end,” he said as he began to drag me inside.

Halos magmakaawa ako na huwag niya akong dalhin sa loob. I couldn’t see Sabrina, not after what I did! Alam ko na may kasalanan si Harvey, pero hindi ko ginusto na madamay ang isang bata na wala namang alam sa mga nangyari.

“Ary,” naka-awang ang labi na sabi ni Nathan. Mabilis na lumipat ang mga mata niya kay Blake na nasa tabi ko.

“I…” I said, gulping the nerves that were winning over my system. “I was visiting someone… Blake saw me…”

Nathan clenched his jaw, but didn’t question further because Harvey came back. His hands were covered in blood. In blood that I helped spill. Halos tumalikod ako, ngunit mabilis na naramdaman ko ang kamay ni Blake sa likuran ko.

“Watch this,” Blake whispered in my ear. “You did this.”

My whole system was shivering in something uncharted. I didn’t know what to make of it. I was scared. I was disgusted. I was appalled with what I did.

I felt like I was slowly becoming one of them.

I was playing god. I was messing with innocent lives.

“Harvey,” Nathan said. I didn’t know what was in his voice—fear or worry.

“She’s dead.”

Mabilis na umawang ang labi ko—kasing bilis ng paglaglag ng puso ko. I studied Harvey’s face, but his face remained impassive. There was nothing to read. And it scared me. He looked like he’s got nothing to lose. Like he was ready to ruin everything because there’s nothing left for him to protect.

“What—”

“Call the prosecutor. I’ll cut a deal.”

“Harvey—”

But Harvey got a tissue from the table. He wiped the dried blood from his hands. He looked… empty. It was frightening. The blank look on his face was sending shivers in my spine.

“Get me what I need,” he said as he wiped the blood. Nanatili doon ang mga mata niya. Nanatiling nanonood sa pilit na pagtanggal ng dugong nakakapit.

“Talk to Andres first,” Nathan said.

Harvey looked at him, his eyes empty but his face sinister. “I’m done talking,” he said as he left us all as we watched his back disappear.

---

I didn’t know what Harvey wanted to do. Isang beses na tinanong ko si Nathan, ngunit maging siya ay hindi alam kung nasaan si Harvey. Lahat kami ay tahimik na nag-aabang sa susunod niyang gagawin.

We were attending the funeral of Sabrina. I almost ran when I saw the little coffin. Para akong binabaon ng konsensya ko. Gusto kong tumakbo, pero hindi ko magawa. Not when Blake was watching me.

I was hoping that Harvey would be here. He should be here. He should say his goodbye. Hindi siya matatahimik gaya ko kung hindi siya magpapaalam…

Nasa gitna ako ni Nathan at Blake. I could feel the tension between them. Until now, I couldn’t understand the thing that bound the three of them. The thing that was so strong that it was forcing them to deal with things like this.

Na kahit gaano kaayaw ni Nathan, tila ba wala siyang pagpipilian kundi ang gawin ito.

“Andres will not like this,” Blake said.

Nathan clenched his jaw. “What do you want me to do? I can’t even find him.”

“Just make sure he knows his place,” Blake stated… more like warned. Did Harvey have something on him, too? Akala ko ba ay wala siyang kinatatakutan?

“Excuse me,” Nathan said when his phone vibrated. Hindi pa ako nakaka-sagot nang iwan niya ako. Sa tabi ni Blake.

Agad akong napapikit. I had nowhere to go.

“Do you think it was a boy or girl?” Blake asked.

“Blake, please,” I begged.

“What? Aren’t you a bit curious? Do you think the baby looked more like Harvey or Sabrina?” he continued.

Mabilis akong tumayo. I couldn’t deal with his shits right now. I didn’t have the patience to accommodate his sick humor.

“No! Shit, listen to me!”

Agad akong napahinto. Sinundan ko iyong pinanggagalingan ng boses ni Nathan.

“No, you stay there. Don’t—fuck! You know I’m risking my life by doing this! Just—”

Ngunit biglang natigil. I watched as Nathan grew frustrated. He combed his fingers through his hair. Pabalik-balik siyang naglakad. Mabilis na kinuha ko iyong clone ng cellphone niya at tinignan kung sino ang kausap niya. Kumunot ang noo ko nang makita ko na unregistered iyon. Sinubukan kong maghanap sa inbox niya, ngunit wala rin akong makita.

“Please,” he said after a few seconds. His voice was much tamer, but frustration was more palpable. “Please. This will be okay… Just not now…”

I was watching his every move, listening to his every word… but all that stopped when I heard a voice that I buried in my past.

“Mallary,” the voice called, sending shivers in my nape.

XVII. Ghost

XVI. Ghost

I froze.

With fear.

I wanted to run, but my whole system shut down to scream panic. Biglang nanginig ang buong katawan ko nang marinig ko ang boses na iyon. Iyong boses na matagal ko ng kinalimutan… Na pilit kong ibinaon sa limot…

“Mallary,” the voice said again, his tone dripping in authority. Ngunit pilit kong nilabanan ang takot na gumagapang sa buong sistema ko. I begged myself not to be engulfed with the sea of fear. I begged myself to stand on my ground. Kahit ngayon lang.

“Come home,” he said again.

My lips quivered in fear. The ever-familiar feeling that I only got when he’s around.

“Mallary,” he said again.

I took a step away. From him. Again. I tried to run faster, but my feet betrayed me. Pakiramdam ko ay bigla na lamang akong babagsak sa sahig dahil sa panghihina ng mga tuhod ko.

Halos habol ko ang hininga ko nang makaalis ako. I kept on looking around, fearing for my safety. I didn’t know what he wanted from me. I kept my end of the bargain—I disappeared from their world. To act as if I was devoid of roots.

Halos manginig ako sa takot nang may maramdaman ako sa likod ko. I tried to run, but I immediately halted when I saw Thomas. Agad na umawang ang labi ko nang makita ko siya. Halos hindi ko siya mamukhaan. He was wearing hoodie and black cap. It seemed as if he was hiding.

“T-Thomas.”

I stared at him, lost for words. I didn’t know what to say. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin sa kanya. Pakiramdam ko ay unti-unti akong nalulunod sa lahat ng kasinungalingang pumapalibot sa akin. Halos hindi ako maka-hinga.

“Have you seen Harvey?” he asked, his jaw clenched in unmistakable anger.

Umiling ako. “No,” I replied. Everyone was looking for Harvey. Tila walang nakakaalam kung nasaan siya.

Thomas adjusted his hoodie. He looked around, too, as if he was hiding like I was. Tinignan niya akong muli—parang tinitimbang kung mapagkakatiwalaan ba ako.

“Ary,” he mentioned my name. I looked at him innocently, wanting him to trust me… Wanting him to believe that I was the only person left for him to trust… Wanting him to believe that his friends already turned their back against him.

“I need you…” he trailed. “I need you to tell me if you hear them talking about Harvey.”

I nodded. “Okay… but will you tell me why?”

His jaw clenched again. Anger was very palpable. But I wasn’t scared. I’d never been scared of Thomas. He was disgusting, but I never feared him like I did with his friends.

“Harvey’s gonna screw me over,” he said.

“I don’t understand.”

“He made a deal with the prosecutor. He’s gonna throw me under the bus. Reveal everything about my family.”

My lips parted in surprise. I… I didn’t know that Harvey’s gonna do this. I thought he’d get mad. I even considered that he’d kill Thomas with his bare hands. What I didn’t expect was him acting so calmly, so logical. Everything that Harvey was doing was something I didn’t expect of him.

It almost felt like Sabrina’s death made him calculating and even more heartless. Na gagawin niya ang lahat para mawala ang meron si Thomas.

“Can’t you do the same?”

“No. The government wants my family more,” galit niyang sagot. “They won’t give up the chance to get us all in jail.”

Habang naka-tingin ako kay Thomas, hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman. This was starting to be deeper than my quest for revenge for what happened to Molly. This was a problem that ran deeper than I ever knew.

Was I doing the world a favor by getting these people behind bars? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe this was what Molly would’ve wanted. Na kung hindi man sila makulong dahil sa kasalanan na ginawa nila sa kanya, at the end of the day, they’d still pay for it just the same.

This didn’t feel right… but the end justifies the means…

Thomas made me promise that I’d contact him once I hear anything about Harvey. Nag-iwan siya sa akin ng numero para doon ko raw siya tawagan. Nanatili ang mga mata ko roon nang biglang may tumawag sa akin.

“Ary,” Nathan said, looking at me with his forehead creased. “Are you alright?” he asked.

I forced a smile. “Y-yeah,” I said. “I… I just needed some fresh air,” I reasoned. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa papel na may numero ni Thomas. Nagtatalo ang isip ko kung ano ang gagawin ko. Should I even tell him kung sakali mang malaman ko kung nasaan si Harvey? Should I just let them kill each other? Kasi sigurado ako na iyon ang magaganap. Because with the way Thomas looked, he was gonna do everything to get even with Harvey.

“Have you heard from Harvey?” I asked. “Won’t he visit?”

Nathan’s face changed—just for a second—before his face remained calmed and controlled yet again.

“He’s somewhere,” he replied.

“Somewhere more important than him being here?” tanong ko.

Nathan looked frustrated. Alam ko na sa aming lahat, siya ang pinaka-nahihirapan. Even if he wouldn’t tell me, I knew that he was caught in the middle of it all. I didn’t know which side he was playing for, but something was amiss…

I didn’t know what to make of Nathan.

“Yes,” he answered. “But please stop asking, Ary. I can’t answer anymore.”

I nodded, not wanting to ask more because it would seem suspicious. Kahit na punung-puno ng pagtataka ang buong pagkatao ko. Alam ko na tinanong siya ni Blake kung alam ba niya kung nasaan si Harvey… Nathan acted like he didn’t know where Harvey was… But now? I was beginning to think that he knew where Harvey was.

That’s he’s hiding him.

That’s he’s hiding something.

Iginiya ako ni Nathan pabalik sa loob ng memorial chapel. My whole body went into panic.

“I… I need to go home,” I said. I didn’t want to come back inside. Hindi ko sigurado kung nandoon pa siya. I didn’t want to see him; I didn’t want to risk seeing him.

Worry flooded Nathan’s face. “Ary…” malambing niyang sabi. He cupped my face, and made me look at him. “Hey, are you alright?”

I forced a smile as I nodded. “Y-yeah. It’s just been a long day.”

“Alright. I’ll bring you home,” sabi niya.

Umiling ako. “No, I can manage. Dito ka na lang. Baka… baka dumating si Harvey.”

Hindi nagtaka si Nathan. Pakiramdam ko ay marami siyang iniisip kaya hindi niya na rin ako masyadong inalala pa. He just waited for me to get in the car bago siya naglakad pabalik sa loob. I didn’t even know where I’d go. I was afraid to go to the unit I was staying. Natatakot ako na baka nandun siya at nag-aabang sa akin.

I decided to go to a coffee shop. Just anywhere I could be around people. I felt safe when I was surrounded by people. It made me feel like he couldn’t touch me.

Nang maggagabi na ay napagpasyahan kong umuwi. The whole way home, my whole body was trembling with fear. I didn’t know how to stop myself from feeling this way. I felt like my demons finally caught up with me, and there’s nowhere to hide from them anymore.

When I got out of the car, I stood in front of the tower. I couldn’t move. I begged myself to move, but I couldn’t. I kept on picturing seeing him. I kept on seeing him inside my head.

“You’re really everywhere, aren’t you?”

I knew I shouldn’t, but I felt relief when I saw Blake standing in front of me. He was looking at me as if he was studying my face.

“Blake,” I called his name. He just stared at me. “Can I ask for a favor?”

His forehead creased. “I don’t think we’re in the position where you—”

I didn’t give him the chance to continue to say anything. Mabilis akong nagtago sa likod niyang nang makita ko siya. I felt Blake stiffening against the trembling of my body.

Fuck!

What did he want from me?! Bakit ba niya ako sinusundan?!

“The fuck?” Blake said, prying my arms from him. Puno ng pagtataka ang mukha niya habang pinag-aaralan ang mukha ko. Mabilis na gumalaw ang katawan ko. Halos tumakbo ako papunta sa kabilang direksyon. Fuck! Did David know?!

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako dadalhin ng mga paa ko. Patuloy lang ako sa pagtakbo hanggang sa maramdaman ko ang paghila sa braso ko.

“Calm down,” Blake said, staring at my face.

With my trembling lips, I shook my head. “I c-can’t.”

“Breathe,” he ordered.

“He found me.”

“Fucking breathe, Mallary.”

Umiling ako. Bumaling ang mga mata, nag-aabang dahil baka nandyan lang siya sa tabi.

“H-he’s here. Shit. He’s here!”

Blake held my face. “Breathe,” he commanded. He held my face even tighter. “Look at me,” he said. “Breathe,” he repeated.

I stared into his eyes. I only stared into his eyes. I forced myself not to think about anything else. I forced myself to breathe.

“I can’t be here,” I said. Mabilis kong kinalas ang kamay niya sa mukha ko. Nagsisimula pa lang akong maglakad nang maramdaman ko ang kamay niya. “Blake—” I said when he started to drag me.

“Quiet,” he replied before he pushed me inside a car.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked him.

He didn’t answer. He just kept on driving until we reached the place. Nagsimula na namang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko nang huminto kami sa harap ng isang gate. My jaw clenched, feeling anger at his fucking audacity. 

“You—”

“You said you need to hide,” he replied.

“And fucking brought me here?!”

He looked at me with those dangerous eyes. “What can you even do, Mallary?” he asked me as I stared at the cabin where they—shit. He fucking brought me here! Wala na talaga siyang takot! 

“What? Are you gonna call the police?” he mockingly asked.

“You fucking asshole,” I said, my teeth seething in the anger that I felt for him. 

Nanginginig ang kamay ko sa galit. He’s a fucking demon! He’s playing with me knowing that there’s nothing I could do against him!

“Just get inside, Mallary… You can even stay in the room that your sister used.”

“Fuck you!”

He laughed. “Your father or Molly? Choose the ghost from your past that you’d face, Mallary,” he whispered in my ear.

XVIII. Forwarded

XVIII. Forwarded

There was a taunting grin on his face. My jaw was clenched as I stared at the monster in front of me. Hindi ko siya maintindihan. I tried, I fucking tried, but he’s like a puzzle that was out to confuse the shit out of me. I didn’t know what his end game was—all I knew was that he was having the time of his life watching me unravel before him.

“You want clothes?” he asked habang tinalikuran ako. Diretso siyang naglakad. Binuksan niya iyong ref, at saka kumuha ng bote ng tubig mula roon.

I didn’t answer. My heart was filled with anger and hatred for him. Ang kapal ng mukha niyang dalhin ako dito! Dito kung saan nila ginago si Molly!

And what was making me shiver in rage was knowing that there’s nothing I could do to him. Kahit na harap-harapan niyang inamin sa akin na may kasalanan siya… And how he was freely making a comment about it—not caring in the world because he knew that he could get away with it.

God, I wanted to kill him!

“I can’t offer you Molly’s clothes. She only stayed for a night.”

Pilit kong ikinuyom ang kamao ko. Muling humarap sa akin si Blake, may ngisi sa kanyang labi. He was enjoying this—he was enjoying seeing me vexed with fury.

“I’m just gonna get some clothes from my car,” sabi niya habang nagsimulang humakbang papunta sa pinto. Ngunit bigla siyang tumigil. At humarap sa akin. “And if you’re going to look around, this place has been wiped clean already, Mallary.”

My lips quivered with unabashed anger. “You fucking devil.”

The side of his lips rose. “Just don’t want you to waste time looking for something that doesn’t exist, Ary. “

Halos mapaupo ako nang mawala siya sa paningin ko. Pilit kong kino-kontrol ang sarili ko, pero hindi ko magawa. A frenzy of rampage ran through my veins.

“Calm down,” I whispered to myself. “Please,” I begged. “Please calm down…”

Patuloy ako sa paghinga nang malalim. Gusto ko na lamang ipikit ang mga mata ko sa dami ng nangyari ngayong araw. I wanted to go away—I wanted to go back to US. I just wanted to get away from everyone here.

Naputol ang pagpikit ko nang may maramdaman akong tumama sa mukha ko. I opened my eyes, only to see Blake looking at me. He was watching me with curious eyes.

He thought he knew everything about me… but he didn’t. No one knew everything about me.

No one will know.

No one could know.

“It’s been a long day for the both of us,” sabi niya. He tossed me a blanket. “Sleep.”

Nanatili akong naka-tingin at pinapanood siya nang mahiga siya sa isang sofa. Mabilis niyang ipinikit ang mga mata niya, ’tila walang pakielam sa pwede kong gawin sa kanya. And it frustrated the hell out of me seeing him like this—him knowing that there’s nothing I could do, so he had the fucking nerve to act like this!

“Just sleep, Mallary,” he said with his eyes still closed. “Or go look for something. Suit yourself. I’m tired.”

Nanginginig ang mga paa ko nang magsimula akong pumasok sa loob ng kwarto. Halos maputol ang hininga ko nang magsimula kong ilibot ang mga mata ko. Was it here? Was this the place where they did those horrible things to Molly? Ito ba iyong lugar na sinasabi ni Molly sa affidavit niya?

“I’m sorry,” I kept on repeating as tears began to stream down. My entire body was shaking in unmistakable anger. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you…” patuloy kong pagbulong hanggang sa mapaupo ako sa sahig.

Hapon na nang magising ako. Ni hindi ko namalayan na naka-tulog pala ako sa sahig. I woke up with a searing pain on my back, but all that was forgotten when I realized where I was. Suddenly, the physical pain didn’t hurt as much as the thought that I was at the place where Molly was violated.

Agad akong napa-pikit, at napa-hugot nang malalim na hininga. I stood up, and decided to look around. I braved through the pain that flooded my mind. I fought through the urge to run away. Dahil sa pagtingin ko sa paligid ko, tila naaalala ko lahat ng naka-sulat sa affidavit ni Molly.

Those fucking animals.

I looked at every crevice—hoping that they left something, anything. I just couldn’t give up that easily. Not now when Blake was just outside the door, acting so careless because he was so convinced that there’s nothing that could tie him up to the devious crime he participated in.

I didn’t care anymore if he joined his fucking friends to rape Molly—the fact that he let them, he’s just as guilty as the ones who did it.

Pero bigo ako. Walang kahit na ano ang naiwan na makakapagdiin sa kanila. Halos baliktarin ko na iyong buong kwarto, pero wala akong nahanap. Umasa ako na dito nila itinatago iyong video camera na ginamit para kuhanan si Molly.

“Done looking around?” Blake asked the moment I went out of the room.

I clenched my jaw, but remained calm. “I need to call someone,” I said. I needed David. Only him could calm me. Pakiramdam ko ay tatakasan na ako ng bait dahil sa lahat ng nangyayari.

“Not here,” Blake said. “Signal jammer.” Nanatiling blangko ang mukha ko. “Andres installed it. He’s paranoid.”

Andres.

That man.

Alam ko na pabagsak na si Thomas at Harvey. I just needed to push them a little, and they’d be out of the equation. I needed to focus on Andres next. I felt like he’s important in this wretched game that we’re playing. I just needed to know his role.

“Then drive me back to the city,” I said. I needed to contact David even more. I needed to ask him about Pamela. Hindi siya nagpaparamdam. I was worried before, but now, I needed to see her. I couldn’t do this alone. Not without her. She played this game better than I could ever.

He shrugged. Nagpatuloy siya sa pagkain. Hindi ko alam kung paano niya nagagawang umakto nang ganito. This was the very place where they destroyed a girl’s life! Didn’t that mean something?! O baka naman talagang wala ng kaluluwa si Blake para ganitong magwalang bahala siya?!

After Blake finished eating, he got his jacket from the couch. Diretso siyang naglakad papunta sa labas. Tahimik lang akong naka-sakay sa sasakyan habang nagda-drive siya. In the middle of the drive, I saw his phone vibrating. The caller ID only said One. Everything about this guy screamed mystery. Nakita ko rin ang phone niya kagabi. May nagtext, at ang pangalan ay Twenty-three. He never uses name. This clever devil.

“Do you mind?” he asked when he reached for his phone. Hindi ako sumagot. He pulled over on the side of the road, and answered the call.

“Speaking,” he said. “Yes. No, not really. Okay. I’ll report before the day ends.”

When he was done, he looked at me. “Where will I drop you off?”

I looked at him. “Is this really just a game to you, Blake?” tanong ko.

He looked at me, seemingly fascinated that I was at my wit’s end when it came to him. “Yeah.”

I fisted my hand. “Someone died.”

“I didn’t kill her.”

“She killed herself because of you.”

Blake’s eyes were intently staring at mine. My chest was heaving in unrestrained anger. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to scream at him. But I knew it wouldn’t do anything. This man in front of me wasn’t capable of feeling anything. He’s a monster.

“Mallary,” he said, my name sounded so dirty when it came from his mouth. “You were gone for what? Six? Seven years? You don’t know anything that happened here. Stop acting like you know everything when you only know what’s been fed to you,” he continued before he began to drive again.

“Then tell me!” sigaw ko sa kanya.

He turned at me with a grin on his face. “Now, where’s the fun in that?”

---

I was tempted to take over the steering wheel, and to just drive us off the bridge. At that moment, I didn’t care if I’d die basta kasama ko si Blake na mamamatay. He’s a devil. Sigurado na ako.

“Mall…” nag-aalala na sagot ni David nang tumawag ako sa kanya.

“Do you know where Pamela is?” I asked. Agad kong nakita ang mabilis na pagbabago sa mukha niya. I knew something was up. Hindi magaling magtago ng nararamdaman si David. But I also knew that if wasn’t one to tell a story that wasn’t his.

“She’s preoccupied at the moment.”

“I need her.”

“She’ll come when—”

“I need her!” I shouted. I was losing control. Nagagalit ako sa paligid ko. Nagagalit ako dahil wala akong magawa! I was mad at the system here in the Philippines! Na kahit harap-harapan ng gumagawa ng krimen, pilit pa ring nagbubulag-bulagan! And there’s nothing you can do but watch those with power abuse the authority. Kasi sino ka naman ba? You’re nothing. Nakiki-nood ka lang sa buhay nila.

David looked at me with pity.

“Don’t,” I said. “Don’t look at me like that.”

I quickly wiped the tears that escaped my eyes. I tried to breathe, to calm myself down. I didn’t want to see him looking at me like that… Kagaya nang una ko siyang makita… I didn’t need him to remind me of the past that I was badly trying to erase.

“Mall, just go back. You already made the two of them pay, right? Isn’t that enough?”

“No. I won’t stop. I can’t .”

“Why? Molly wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger.”

Biglang pumasok sa isip ko ang sinabi ni Blake. I was gone. For long. I didn’t know who Molly was… I didn’t know except for the things that she told me over the Internet… But she wasn’t a monster like Blake. Sigurado ako doon.

“Just… just please find Pamela for me, David. Tell her I need to find Harvey,” I said before I ended the call. Mabilis din akong tumayo nang makita ko ang text ni Nathan. I knew he’d come to my rescue. And I knew that no one would bother me if he’s around. After all, he’s a Ramirez.

“Hey…” nag-aalala niyang tanong pagkatapos akong hatakin at yakapin. “You look off, babe,” he continued, planting a kiss on the top of my head.

“I’m tired,” I said. My whole body still ached from sleeping on the floor. My system ached from all the anger that Blake made me feel. I was so tired.

He nodded, still keeping me inside his arms. “All right. I’ll bring you to the condo. You sleep. I’ll cook for you. I’ll wake you up after. Sounds like a plan?”

I looked at him, and smiled. “Sounds nice.”

Nathan drove us to his condo. Pinatulog niya ako sa kwarto niya. I slept comfortably. Paggising ko, nakita ko siya na abala sa kusina at nagluluto. Agad akong lumapit sa kanya.

“What are you cooking?” I asked while hugging him from behind.

“Just pasta. It’s the easiest to cook,” he said. “Are you hungry?”

I nodded. “Yeah…” sagot ko. Hindi ako kumain ng kahit ano’ng binigay sa akin ni Blake. Iniisip ko pa lang na sabay kaming kumain, nasusuka na agad ako.

After Nathan cooked, he prepared the table for us. He made spaghetti and opened a bottle of wine.

“How’s Thomas?” I asked.

“Missing,” he replied curtly. He didn’t discuss further. Typical. Hindi na ako muling nagtanong pa dahil alam ko na wala akong makukuhang sagot mula sa kanya. Ngunit sa gitna ng pagkain, biglang nagvibrate ang cellphone ko. It was from an unregistered number, but I knew it was from Pamela.

Agad na umangat ang gilid ng labi ko.

“Babe?” Nathan called. “Are you okay?”

Bumaling ako sa kanya. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, smiling as I forwarded the address to the number Thomas gave me.

XIX. Burned Bridge

XIX. Burned Bridge

I slept soundly that night knowing that when I wake up, one of my problems would be taken cared of… permanently. I only woke up when Nathan began making noises. He was pacing back and forth inside the room, trying to find something.

“Hey…” I called as I sat down on the bed.

“Sorry if I woke you up,” he replied as he kept on looking for something. I was about to ask him another question nang maunahan niya ako. “I gotta go somewhere. You can stay here if you want. I’ll talk to you later.” Then he kissed my forehead.

Puno ng pagtataka ang mukha ko sa bilis ng pangyayari. I went to the bathroom instead. I took my time in taking a bath. Sinuot ko iyong t-shirt at boxers ni Nathan. I was plopped in front of a TV, watching a news about the whistle blower gone missing.

“Tanga kasi kayo,” bulong ko habang tutok ang mga mata sa nagbabalita. I figured that since I couldn’t rely on the system here in the Philippines, might as well use that weakness to my advantage. Hindi na ako nagulat pa na nahanap ni Pamela si Harvey kahit pa nasa witness protection ito.

The police force here’s incompetent, in general. That’s the truth. Walang aasahan sa kanila. Mamumuti ang buhok mo bago pa may mangyari.

I was watching the police chief who was giving a statement with regards to the status of the case now that the primary source of information’s gone. Halos matawa ako sa mga sagot na binibigay niya. Kasi kung gusto talaga nilang protektahan si Harvey, they’d find a way.

Kung sabagay… kung gusto din ni Pamela na mahanap si Harvey, she’d find a way, that’s for sure.

“Hey,” I said upon answering Thomas’ call.

“Ary,” he replied, his voice laced with fear. “Fuck!” he cursed.

I crossed my legs, and leaned against the cushion of the sofa. “What’s wrong?” nag-aalala kong tanong. I looked around, and remembered that I was still in Nathan’s loft. Mabilis akong tumayo para pumunta sa CR. Mahirap na. Hindi ko alam kung may hidden camera pala sa lugar na ’to. After all, why would Nathan even bother to secure this place so badly kung wala naman palang dapat itago?

“I… shit!” mura niya ulit. “Can you help me?”

Naka-tayo ako sa harap ng salamin habang tinitignan ang itsura ko. I was far from the fifteen year old who ran to a foreign land. I could barely recognize the old me. I didn’t know if it was the circumstances or just the mere fact that I badly wanted to change everything about me, but it happened.

I looked different.

But the eyes… God, Blake was right. Baguhin ko man ang lahat sa akin, hindi ko kayang baguhin ang mga mata ko.

“Please tell me what happened first, Thomas. You’re making me worried,” mahinahong sabi ko kahit na may ideya ako kung ano ang naganap. The fact that it was Thomas who was calling me, I knew that it was Harvey who lost. Too bad. I’d really rather deal with Harvey than Thomas. Dahil kung ako ang papipiliin? Mas malala si Thomas. This guy didn’t have remorse for anything. Na kahit harap-harapan mong sabihin sa kanya ang mali niya, he’d still find a way to make it about him.

Such a first grade asshole.

“I can’t. Shit! Please meet me, okay? I need you, Ary,” sabi niya bago sinimulang sabihin ang isang address.

Nang matapos ang tawag, lumabas ako. Naglakad-lakad ako habang iniisip kung ano ang gagawin ko. I could… I could just call the police on him. Sa tipo ni Thomas? He wouldn’t last a day in jail. Or if he would, he’d be some prisoner’s bitch. Lihim akong natawa. It would be such a sight to see Thomas being fucked in the ass. Kabayaran sa lahat ng kagaguhan niya sa buhay.

But then…

What if Thomas talks to Andres? That one’s not stupid. Sigurado ako na mapapagtagpi niya lahat ng pangyayari. And I wasn’t done. Not yet. Hindi ako pwedeng tumigil habang humihinga pa si Blake. Only when his feet are cold could I rest. Until then, no one could stop me.

I left a note for Nathan. Mabilis akong pumunta sa lugar na sinabi ni Thomas. I was carefully holding a Swiss knife on my hand dahil hindi ako mapakali sa lugar na pinili niya.

“Ary.”

Halos mapatalon ako nang marinig ko ang boses niya. Agad akong lumingon. He was still sporting the hoodie that I saw him wearing before. Only now…

“Oh, my God,” I said, gasping in faked surprise when I saw traces of blood on his hand. “Thomas…”

“He’s gonna ruin everything!” sigaw niya.

“What did you do?!”

He was pacing back and forth, his hands pulling his hair. He looked deranged. He was losing it from losing all the money. I knew that it was the only thing that Thomas cared about—his money. Without it, he’s no one.

I knew he’d do anything to save it.

Taking care of the threat included.

“Call Andres,” he said.

Agad kong nahigit ang hininga ko. “W-why?”

“He knows what to do. He’ll take care of it.”

Shit! Hindi pwede!

“W-what do you need, Thomas?” tanong ko. I knew this was stupid, but anything to stop him from contacting Andres. I knew I was done the moment this comes to his attention! Hanggang ngayon ay hindi nila alam ang tungkol sa ginawa ni Thomas. Hell, they didn’t even know where Harvey was!

“I need a place to hide! And to leave this fucking country!” he roared.

I nodded. “Okay,” I said, holding his arm. “But calm down, okay?”

But he didn’t.

I hailed a cab for us. Siguro nga nasisiraan na ako ng bait dahil sa ginagawa ko. But I wasn’t done, and I wouldn’t let Thomas ruin everything for me! Not now!

“Where are we going?” he asked, but I didn’t answer. Truth was, I didn’t have a clue kung saan ko siya dadalhin. Ang alam ko lang, dadalhin ko siya kahit saan ’wag lang kay Andres.

Thomas fell asleep. He must’ve been so tired from whatever he did. Tinapik ko ang pisngi niya nang makarating na kami.

“Thomas,” I called his name. “We’re here.”

Agad na inilibot niya ang paningin niya. We were in a secluded place here in the Metro. This was registered under a dummy corporation. Walang nakakaalam ng lugar na ’to maliban sa kanya.

And I doubted that he’d come here after what happened.

“Where are we?” he asked.

“Don’t ask questions.”

Pumasok kami sa isang maliit na bahay. Pinauna ko siya dahil hindi ko pa kayang bumalik doon. I stood outside for minutes that felt like eternity. Shit. Breathe, Mallary. You shouldn’t be weak. Not right now.

“Ary,” tawag ni Thomas.

“W-why?” tanong ko habang nasa labas pa rin.

“I still need to call Andres.”

Umigting ang panga ko. “Okay. Tomorrow.”

“I need him now.”

“Police are investigating him,” sabi ko kahit hindi ako sigurado doon. “He’s close to you and Harvey.”

Napa-mura na naman si Thomas. Hindi niya alam kung ano na ang totoo sa hindi. He’s far too detached from reality. Now, all he cared for was his survival.

My phone vibrated. It was Nathan. “I need to go back.”

“Ary—”

I cut him off. “You’re safe here, okay? I just need to do something. I’ll be back, I promise,” sabi ko bago mabilis na iniwan siya doon. Naglakad ako nang naglakad hanggang sa maka-hanap ako ng pwede kong masakyan pabalik. Hindi ako lumingon ni isang beses. I just needed to get out of that place! Kung hindi lang ako desperado para hanapan ng pwedeng mapagtaguan si Thomas ay hinding-hindi ako babalik sa lugar na iyon.

---

“You’re stupid, you know that?” naka-simangot na sabi sa akin ni Pamela.

“Wow. You were gone for days, tapos iyan ang bungad mo sa akin?”

“Exactly! I was gone for days! Days only! Tapos pagbalik ko, ano? Accessory to the crime ka na? My God, Mallary! Why did you help Thomas hide? He’s wanted!” sabi niya tapos mabilis na ipinakita sa akin ang isang article online na mayroong mukha ni Thomas. “He shot Harvey! Now, along with drug-related charges, he’s also wanted for murder! Tapos tinulungan mo!”

“What did you want me to do?!”

“Call the police, you dummy! Let them handle him!”

“He’s gonna call Andres!”

“And we’ll cross the bridge when we get there, not burn the fucking bridge! My god, Mallary! Nase-stress ako sa ’yo!”

We were glaring at each other for a few minutes before I gave up. Pamela looked like she could hold a grudge for decades. And I didn’t have time for that. Not now.

“I’m sorry,” I said, giving in. “I just got scared. I didn’t want him to call Andres. I was sure he’d figure out. Hindi pa pwede. I’m not done, Pamela.”

She sighed. “Where did you bring Thomas?” Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin. She could see right through me. “Mallary? Where did you bring him?”

“Somewhere…”

“Somewhere?” ulit niya habang naka-taas ang kilay. “Mallary, you have to tell me. Paano ko maaayos ’yang ginawa mo kung hindi mo sasabihin?”

I clenched my jaw. “I brought him to my father’s property, okay?!”

“You did what?!” sigaw niya. “I thought you were hiding? Tapos dinala mo doon?! Nababaliw ka na ba talaga?!”

“I was running out of option! Wala akong ibang alam—”

Ngunit hindi ko natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil agad-agad na tumayo si Pamela.

“Saan ka pupunta?”

“Para kunin si Thomas,” she said, then I quickly followed her.

I was full of questions. Hindi ko alam kung bakit alam ni Pamela iyong tungkol sa pamilya ko… Did David tell her? Pero nangako si David sa akin na wala siyang sasabihan…

God, my head was aching so bad!

I gave the address to her. Pareho kaming tahimik habang nagda-drive siya pabalik doon. Habang papalapit kami, papasikip na naman nang papasikip ang dibdib ko. I didn’t want to come back here. The memories I badly tried to forget kept on coming back. The pain was so palpable that I could almost feel it again.

“Holy shit,” she said when we saw a car parked right in front.

My heart started to beat loudly.

I knew that car.

“Umalis na tayo,” mabilis kong sabi sa kanya.

“But si Thomas—”

“I don’t care! Let’s leave!” I shouted. Panic ran quickly through my system. He’s here! I shouldn’t be here! I needed to leave!

“Thomas is good as dead kung iiwan natin siya!” she shouted.

“I don’t care!” sigaw ko bago mabilis na binuksan iyong pintuan at pinalipat siya. I needed to leave! Right now!

“My God, Mallary! He’s your—”

But we both stopped when we heard a loud bang.

XX. Finding Thomas

XX. Finding Thomas

“Please! Let’s leave!” I begged of Pamela. Patuloy pa rin siyang tulala at naka-tingin sa pinanggalingan ng putok. Patuloy pa rin sa pagwawala ang buong sistema ko sa pag-iisip na baka sundan niya ako… na baka ako naman…

I was tempted to push her off of her seat and to just drive away. I didn’t want to be here for any more second! I wanted to leave! I didn’t want to take the risk of staying and him finding out that I was here!

“Mallary!” Pamela shouted. “Umayos ka nga!”

“No! Let’s leave!”

“And what? Leave Thomas alone?!”

“Ikaw na rin ang nagsabi, ’di ba? Wala siyang kwentang tao! Kaya bakit—”

But we both stopped when I felt a stinging sensation on my cheek when she slapped me.

“Look at yourself! Are you really—”

I nodded, with my lips quivering in fear. “You don’t know him… You don’t know what he’ll do if he sees me…”

Lumambot ang tingin niya sa akin. Alam ko na nagdadalawang-isip siya kung iiwan namin si Thomas. But I was right. If… If it were really him… walang pag-asa na buhay pa siya. Sigurado ako. Dahil kung akong sariling niyang dugo ay nagawa niyang saktan… paano pa sa ibang tao?

“Okay…” she said, giving in. She began to drive. The farther we got, the more at ease I felt. But even then, I couldn’t stop the trembling of my fingers. I couldn’t shake the feeling off.

I was petrified.

I would never stop being scared of him.

“Where are we?” I asked when we stopped at a building. Pamela stopped inside the parking lot.

“It’s David’s place.”

Umiling ako. “No. I won’t include David in this,” matigas kong sabi. I would include literally anyone in this fucking mess except for David. Hindi ako papayag na madamay siya sa gulo na ’to.

“Mallary—”

“No,” I firmly said, cutting her off.

She sighed. “Pero saan ka titira? You know you can’t go back to Molly’s unit dahil alam iyon ng tatay mo.”

“I… I don’t know. I’ll figure something out,” I said. “But not here. I won’t stay here.”

She nodded. “Okay. But please contact David. Nag-aalala siya sa ’yo.”

Umiling ako. “No. Please… please tell him that I won’t be talking to him anytime soon,” sabi ko bago ako mabilis na lumabas ng sasakyan. I didn’t want to talk to David and risk my father knowing about him. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko kung pati siya ay madamay sa gulo ng buhay ko.

Naglakad ako hanggang sa makarating ako sa labas. I walked as quickly as I could, trying to evade any attention that I might get. I just wanted to get away.

“San po tayo, Ma’am?” the driver asked.

“Just drive,” I said, looking out the window, trying to see if someone was following me. I couldn’t rest. I… I just couldn’t rest after knowing that I almost saw him. That… that what if we arrived earlier? What if I was there when he arrived? Ano ang gagawin niya?

Ano ang gagawin ko?

“Ma’am… saan po ba talaga kayo? Kanina pa tayo paikot-ikot.”

My lips parted upon noticing the mixture of orange and pink hues on the sky. Ni hindi ko napansin ang pagtakbo ng oras dahil sa labis na pag-aalala sa pwedeng mangyari.

I gave him Nathan’s address. I didn’t even know if he was there. All I knew was that I needed to see him. I needed to be with him. I didn’t have anyone with me anymore.

I immediately went to Nathan’s unit. I rang the doorbell, praying that he was here. Dahil kung wala siya, hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta… And I didn’t have the heart to run anymore. I was tired. I was too tired from everything.

“Ary—” he said upon seeing me. But I quickly crossed the distance between us to hug him.

“I’m so tired,” I said against his chest.

I felt him wrapping his arms around me. “What happened?” he asked.

Umiling ako. “Can I stay here?”

“Of course, babe…”

Nathan made me lay on his couch while he prepared tea for me. He didn’t ask me anymore about my problem, but he made sure that I was comfortable.

“Do you want to change clothes?” he asked. I simply nodded. He looked at me, then planted a kiss on my forehead. “Go to the bathroom. I’ll get you something to wear. Then we’ll sleep, okay? Tomorrow, you’ll feel brand new.”

But I was too tired to walk. Too tired to do anything. Even too tired to remain awake.

Nathan carried me to the bathroom. He had worry in his eyes, but even then, he didn’t push me to tell him what was bothering me. Maybe this was the reason why I knew I wanted to go to him—because he never made me do anything I didn’t want. He’s always careful not to cross any line.

God, I wished he didn’t have anything to do with Molly’s death. It was making everything harder.

---

I was on the bed. Nathan tucked me in.

“I’m gonna stay on the couch,” he said, caressing my cheek while intently staring into my eyes.

“Okay…”

“If you need anything, I’m just outside,” he replied, then planed a kiss on my forehead. Iniwan niya ako sa kama niya. I wanted to sleep, but sleep eluded me. Every time I would close my eyes, I could see his face… And suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. Suddenly, I felt like I was there again…

I could feel the fear.

I could taste it in my mouth.

Agad akong napatayo.

“Hey… Can’t sleep?” Nathan asked upon seeing me. I saw how he quickly scanned my legs that were showing. I was wearing his boxer shorts and white shirt.

I nodded, slowly walking towards him. I noticed the papers on the table. He was working.

“Busy?” I asked.

He nodded. “Harvey’s still missing.”

Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin. I didn’t know where Harvey was. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang ginawa sa kanya ni Thomas. And I didn’t know where Thomas was—not anymore. I could only hope that he was still breathing somewhere.

I didn’t want his blood on my hands.

“He’ll be fine,” I said, leaning my head against his shoulder.

“I hope. Everyone’s looking for him.”

Hindi na ako nagsalita pa. More talk, more mistake. I didn’t know how much I was supposed to know. I didn’t want to make a slip and make Nathan wonder why I knew so much.

Without him, I wouldn’t be able to move. Alam ko na siya ang dapat kong lapitan… After all, he’s a Ramirez. He’s untouchable. I should use that to my advantage. I should stay with him kung ayaw kong malapitan pa akong muli ng nag-iisang tao na pilit kong tinatakbuhan.

A few minutes later, I could feel my lids getting heavy. I knew I was about to fall asleep when I heard Nathan cursing. I kept my eyes closed as he carefully transferred my head from his lap to the couch. Tahimik kong pinakiramdaman hanggang sa marinig ko ang pagsara ng pinto.

My heart was beating preposterously fast. I silently went to the door, and took a peek. Umawang ang labi ko nang makita kong naka-tayo si Andres doon.

“Harvey’s dead,” Andres said.

“What? How? Where did you—”

“It doesn’t matter. We need to find Thomas.”

Nathan combed his fingers through his hair. Frustration evident in his voice. “I told you. I don’t know where Thomas is.”

“Well, find him.”

“The police are looking for him! What more can I do?”

“Use your family. I don’t care! Find him!” pagtataas ng boses ni Andres. His eyes were blazing. It was the first time that I saw him lose control. Ngayon lang. “We’re all gonna be ruined if the police gets to him first,” he hissed.

I saw how Nathan’s face became pale at what Andres said.

“Find Thomas. Find out what the fuck is happening. Find that fucking video. Find that before the police gets to it!” he roared before walking away.

Halos matumba ako sa sahig sa pagmamadali na bumalik sa pagkakatulog. My mind was going dizzy with everything that I just heard. The video? Were they pertaining to the video they took the night that they raped Molly?

Si Thomas ba ang may hawak nun?

But Thomas—shit! I shouldn’t have left him there!

Paikut-ikot si Nathan habang naglalakad. My heart was still beating so fast that I felt like I ran in a marathon. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang susunod niyang gagawin. I didn’t know what to think about him anymore… Because the second that I was trying to consider that maybe he’s just caught in the middle of it, he’s here… he’s here playing with the demons.

“I need help,” I heard him say. I carefully opened my eyes, only to see him on the phone. His back was on me, and his right hand was leaning on the table. “I need you to find someone. Thomas Marius Aranza III. Yes. I just need you to find him. Don’t do anything. And… ask him about the video. If there’s any, give it to me.”

What would you do with the video, Nathan?

Narinig ko siyang pumasok sa kwarto. I heard him closing the door, but the sound of things breaking didn’t escape my ears.

XXI. His Eyes

XXI. His Eyes

I wanted to follow Nathan. Simula nang marinig ko iyong sinabi niya kagabi, hindi na ako matahimik. I wanted to know about the video… if it was the video that Molly stated in her affidavit. I wanted to know if it really exists… because if it did, then Blake was playing me all along. He kept on telling me that I wouldn’t find any evidence because everything that could be destroyed had already been destroyed…

But what if he was wrong?

What if there’s a video that could prove all of Molly’s allegations true? Dahil bakit siya magsisinungaling? Why would Molly risk ruining the family name for nothing?

Unless there’s something more to it…

Fuck!

“You’re leaving?” I asked upon seeing Nathan pick up his things.

He nodded. His had dark circles under his eyes. I knew he didn’t sleep last night. He kept on doing something in his laptop, and he was on the phone with someone at wee hours of the morning. Gustuhin ko mang mapakinggan ay hindi ko magawa dahil masyado siyang malayo sa akin. And he was using a different phone!

“I have to fix something.”

“Harvey?”

“Yeah,” he simply said, but I knew there was more to it.

“Is there anything I can do?” tanong ko sa kanya.

Nathan stared at me. Like he was studying my face. He did it for a few seconds before he released what seemed like a tortured sigh.

“Just… just stay safe, okay?” Then he planted a kiss on my lips. Wala na akong nagawa pa nang lumabas siya ng pintuan. I started to pace back and forth—iniisip kung ano ang pwede kong gawin. I knew I needed to find Thomas, too, but how would I even do that? There’s no way that I’d go back to that place—much more contact him!

Alam ko rin na kahit kailan, hindi malalaman kahit nino na doon ko dinala si Thomas. There’s a reason why I brought him there…

Because when I was brought there, no one saved me.

No one but myself.

---

My heart was racing dangerously fast inside my chest as I attempted to go to Molly’s unit. It was so fucking stupid of me to leave the affidavit there! Gusto ko sanang tawagan si Pamela para humingi ng bagong kopya, but she wasn’t answering! Again! She’s so preoccupied lately!

I needed that affidavit. I needed to find clues tungkol sa video na hinahanap nila Nathan.

And if it’s true that Thomas was the one holding the video, it was possible that he’s also the one who fucking took a video of everything that transpired that night.

My hands were shaking as I tried to open Molly’s unit.

At ganoon na lang ang pagtigil ng tibok ng puso ko nang makita ko ang—

“Mallary.”

Hindi ako maka-hinga.

Shit.

Fuck!

“You—”

“He was noisy,” he said.

My whole system was shaking in fear. I didn’t know what to do. Gusto kong ibaling ang paningin ko ngunit hindi ko maialis ang mga mata ko sa kanya. He was staring at me… his eyes were wide open…

“I assume he was your friend.”

Sumisikip ang dibdib ko.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

Gusto kong gumalaw ngunit hindi ko magawa. I wanted to run. I wanted to run far away from him, but my feet wouldn’t let me. My eyes wouldn’t leave Thomas’ eyes as they stared at me… As if asking me why I left him with that monster.

“Why were you friends with him, Mallary?”

Hindi ako makagalaw.

“Why are you friends with the guy who raped your sister?” he asked, taking a step closer, making me fear for my life even more. I could feel his eyes on me, never leaving me. “Or was he your gift to me?”

His eyes…

His eyes were staring at me…

Gusto kong gumalaw, pero hindi ko magawa. Gusto kong lumapit at isara ang mga mata niya, ngunit hindi ako makagalaw.

“Come home, Mallary.”

“No!” mabilis kong sigaw bago nagsimulang tumakbo palapit sa pinto. I shouldn’t be here! Not like this! Not again! I wouldn’t let myself be in this situation again! I’d rather kill myself than experience the hell he put me in!

“Mallary!” pagsigaw niya bago ko pa tuluyang mabuksan ang pintuan. “Go home,” he said using the authority that I feared before… and still fear now.

Nanginginig ang kamay ko habang naka-hawak sa seradura ng pintuan. “No.”

Halos mapatalon ako nang maramdaman ko siya sa likuran ko. I almost wanted to cower in the intensity of the fear that I was feeling for him. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I wanted to disappear again.

“W-where are you going?” tanong ko nang buksan niya ang pintuan. Muling napako ang tingin ko kay Thomas na patuloy pa ring naka-tingin sa akin. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to puke my guts out.

“Home. I will go home and wait for you to come home.”

Matigas akong umiling. “I will never go home.”

He looked at me and sighed. “Then I’ll leave you to take care of that pig,” he said, throwing a disgusted stare at Thomas.

Mabilis na umawang ang labi ko. “W-what?”

“You don’t want to come home. You don’t expect me to take care of you mess, do you?”

Biglang umikot ang paningin ko.

Biglang sumikip ang dibdib ko.

He glanced at Thomas again. “You can take care of that. You have the experience,” he said before finally opening the door, leaving me with Thomas.

---

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to shout.

I didn’t know what to do.

Nanginginig ang mga tuhod ko nang dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa katawan ni Thomas. My tears were flowing as my shaking hands tried to see if there’s something in his pockets.

“Breathe,” I kept on telling myself.

Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na masuka habang naghahanap ng pwedeng magamit para malaman kung totoo nga ang sinasabi ni Nathan tungkol sa video. Hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang gagawin ko sa katawan ni Thomas. I knew I couldn’t just leave him here! But I also couldn’t just drag him outside!

Ni hindi ko alam kung paano siya nagawang dalhin dito!

Shit!

I should’ve been more careful! I should’ve stayed hidden more! I didn’t know how to deal with Nathan when my own ghost was running after me!

“Phone,” I uttered when I couldn’t find any indication of the video. I closed my eyes and stopped breathing. I wanted to hurl. I wanted to get away from his body as soon as possible.

But his death shouldn’t be for nothing!

Everything that has happened shouldn’t be for nothing!

And if my own father said that Thomas raped Molly, then this fucking asshole didn’t deserve an inch of my mercy! Pati sila Nathan! They’re all in this!

I should keep my eyes on my goal! Na hindi dahil mabait sa akin si Nathan ay dapat ko ng kalimutan lahat ng kasalanan na ginawa niya kay Molly. His goodness to me didn’t erase the fact that he was a devil to someone else.

I began to drag Thomas’ body towards the bathroom. I put him inside the tub. Hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. I didn’t know how to dispose a fucking body! And Pamela wasn’t answering any of my calls!

For a second, I thought about calling Blake. Stupid. Bakit ko siya tatawagan?! I knew he already knew who I was, but that didn’t change the fact that he was a part of this mess!

And I didn’t trust him.

I didn’t trust him enough to ask for his help. I knew that he’d screw me over once it’s convenient for him. Siya ang klase ng tao na hindi dapat pinagkakatiwalaan… kahit kailan.

Nanginginig pa rin ang mga tuhod ko nang bumaba ako. I needed to look for something, anything that I could use to get out of this mess!

Ngunit agad akong napatigil nang makita ko si Andres sa harap ng pintuan ni Nathan. I wanted to turn around and to run from him. My problems were quickly piling up, and the last thing that I needed were his suspicious eyes on me!

But it was too late.

He was looking at me.

He was looking at me like he caught me doing something I shouldn’t be doing…

“Ary… right?” he asked, his voice giving shivers in my spine.

I kept on telling myself to calm down, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t with him right in front of me. With him looking at me like that. I couldn’t calm down!

My throat felt dry.

“Y-yeah,” sabi ko. Agad kong itinago ang kamay ko sa likod. I… I didn’t know if I had traces of blood on me. I didn’t want to raise any more suspicion. I couldn’t handle Andres. Not right now.

His eyes surveyed me. I kept my face passive, but my heart was screaming in panic.

“You look… nervous,” he said.

Pilit akong ngumiti. “I used the stairs. Just catching my breath.”

He nodded, his eyes still on me. “What did you get?”

“Food.”

“Didn’t Pierce have food here?”

“Nothing that I like.”

There was a beat.

My heart.

Fuck.

“Tell Pierce that I came,” he said.

I nodded. “What will I tell him?”

His eyes… His eyes were intently looking at me. Like he knew me. Like he knew my soul.

“Tell him that I found Thomas.”

Fuck.

XXII. Revealing Faces

XXII. Revealing Faces

I was panicking. So fucking bad. Shit! What did Andres mean?! Alam niya kung nasaan si Thomas?! But Thomas was just upstairs! In Molly’s bathtub! Alam niya? Nakita niya ba ako?!

Fuck!

My whole body was trembling in fear. A part of me wanted to just escape—to just hide and disappear once again. But another part of me was telling me that I should stay and finished what I started.

I left Molly here.

I left her alone knowing how our parents are.

I owed her this much. I owed her justice for the ending that she got.

I went to the comfort room and washed my face. I needed to calm down—I needed to. I wouldn’t be able to think clearly and straightly if I would be panicking like this. Mas lalong mapapahamak ako kung hindi ako mag-iisip nang maayos.

Paglabas ko, agad akong uminom ng tubig. Pilit kong kinalma ang sarili ko habang iniisip ang lahat ng bagay na ginawa ko. I knew no one followed me when I brought Thomas to the house… At mas nakaka-sigurado ako na walang nakakita kay Thomas nang dinala siya dito. My father had always worked clean.

That’s the reason why he’s at the top.

He never lets anything get ruined… and that’s why it was bothering me so much kung paano nagawang magsampa ng kaso ni Molly laban kay Nathan. Because knowing my father? He’d clean this silently . Like he did with me. He wouldn’t let Molly taint the name that he worked so hard to build.

Something must’ve happened.

Something should’ve happened.

---

Nathan was looking at me worriedly when he arrived. I was acting weird. Paano ako kakalma kung alam ko na nasa taas lang si Thomas? That it was just a matter of time before his corpse began to stink?

And that I was desperate for a solution because I could feel it in my bones that Andres was on my tail?

“Are you okay?” he asked again.

I nodded, plastering a smile on my face. I could still salvage this. I didn’t reach this far only to back down right now.

“Yeah… How was your meeting?”

“Fine.”

I nodded again. “Andres came.” Agad umalerto ang mga mata niya. His whole attention was on me, waiting as I said another word. Hindi ko pinahalata na nararamdaman ko rin ang kaba na nararamdaman niya. “He… he said that he knows where Thomas is.”

Quietly, I studied his face. I wanted to know if he was in on this, too. If Andres already talked to him. If he was wary of my presence right now, like I was of him. Hindi ko na alam kung kanino ako magtitiwala… Hindi ko na alam kung sino ang dapat pagkatiwalaan…

I didn’t know who was telling the truth anymore.

Heck, I couldn’t even discern the right from wrong anymore!

But Nathan just stood up, and got his phone. He was standing a few meters from me. His voice wasn’t loud, but I could see from where I was sitting that he was arguing on the phone.

And then he looked at me.

He looked at me like something was wrong.

Shit.

Did Andres tell him his suspicion? Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko! Should I run? But what if—

“Was that Andres?” I asked when Nathan ended the call. He was still looking at me, like his eyes were trying to fin answers from mine. Pinilit kong kumalma ang sarili ko. Panic would take me nowhere. It would only make things worse than they already were.

And I didn’t need that.

That’s the last thing that I needed.

“No,” he said, but his face said otherwise.

I pressed my lips, not knowing how to react further. My guts was telling me that Nathan was already beginning to suspect me… Na para bang iniisip niya iyong simula ng pagkakakilala namin. Na kung may kakaiba ba akong ginawa mula noo pa man.

Did I ever slip in front of him? I knew I was careful… but I could never really tell. I knew I was playing with the wrong people. They’re smart. And cunning.

And much more now that the stakes are higher than ever.

“Hungry?” he asked.

I shook my head, remembering that I just told Andres that I went down to eat. I was trying so fucking hard to remember all the lies that I told… but the more they got, the harder it was to keep track.

“I’ll just… buy coffee. Do you want me to get you a cup?” tanong ko sa kanya.

Umiling siya, ngunit ang mga mata niya ay nasa akin pa rin. Na para bang ayaw akong paalisin. Na para bang hinuhukay ang bawat sikreto sa aking pagkatao.

I nodded. “Okay… I’ll be in the coffee shop if you need me,” sabi ko bago kinuha ang wallet ko at bumaba. Hanggang sa makalabas ako, ramdam na ramdam ko pa rin ang pagsunod ng mga mata niya sa akin.

I was breathing so hard when I got out. I began to panic. Again.

I stayed true to what I told Nathan. I really went to the coffee shop. I even burned my tongue when I sipped the coffee carelessly. My mind was just drifting. I was so stressed with the thought of Thomas being in Molly’s unit!

And Pamela’s MIA again! Pakiramdam ko ay tuluyan na akong mababaliw!

And as much as I wanted to go to Molly’s unit, I just couldn’t! I was scared! I kept on looking behind my shoulders! I didn’t know if I was just being paranoid, but I could always feel Andres’ eyes on me.

It was much worse.

Dahil nung kay Blake, alam ko na gusto niya lang akong paglaruan… He found it fascinating to see me try… But with Andres? The fear I was feeling was lethal. I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant if he ever knew what I was doing.

I tried contacting Pamela one more time before I decided to go back to Nathan’s unit. Tahimik lang ako habang nasa elevator. I was thinking about what I would do with Thomas. Sumasakit ang ulo ko. My father was really hell bent on making my life harder! How the fuck did he get Thomas in this unit?! At mas lalong paano ko maiaalis doon iyong katawan ni Thomas?!

“You think we should report?”

My attention automatically shifted upon hearing the word report.

“Maybe it’s just garbage,” the other girl replied.

“But it stinks so bad!”

“If it’s still there by tomorrow, we’ll report. Let’s just stay at Anne’s unit tonight.”

Fuck.

I looked at the floor they’re heading at. They’re headed at Molly’s floor! God! 

Halos mamatay na ako sa sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. My knees were shaking dangerously as I stepped outside the elevator. I was looking at their faces as the elevator doors shut down.

Fuck.

What would I do?! Baka i-report nila! I was so screwed!

Mabilis akong pumunta sa loob ng unit ni Nathan. I tried to call his name, but no one was answering. I tried to sit down, but I couldn’t calm down. My mind had gone haywire; I was already imagining the worst fucking scenario.

“No,” I uttered to myself. “You already survived the worst, Mallary… This is nothing,” I kept on reminding myself.

But I was lying.

I knew I was lying.

Dahil kapag hindi ko ito nagawan ng paraan, tomorrow, everything would be fucking ruined.

And everything I worked so hard for would be for nothing.

---

Nathan arrived a few hours later. He was silent the whole time. He was talking to me, but it didn’t feel the same. I didn’t care, though. I just wanted him to fall asleep so I could sneak out. Hindi ko na kaya pang isipin kung ano ang mangyayari sa katawan ni Thomas. I wouldn’t risk those two girls reporting about the stink! Alam ko na dadating ang mga pulis. Kung kailan hindi ko sila kailangan! Mga wala talagang kwenta!

“Nathan,” I whispered in his ears as I watched his sleeping form. He looked so peaceful… but I knew that it was just a facade. No one’s innocent in this game we’re all playing. Underneath it all, we were all keeping our own dark secrets.

When I was certain that he was asleep, tahimik akong lumabas. I was so careful not to make any noise. God, I just wanted this who debacle to be over! Hanggang kamatayan ni Thomas ay binibigyan niya pa rin ako ng problema!

I discreetly walked towards the fire exit. I couldn’t risk getting caught by the security cameras right now. Alam ko na nagdududa na si Andres sa akin. One wrong moved and I would be royally screwed.

But not right now.

Not when I was so near.

Tahimik akong naglakad papunta sa unit ni Molly. I didn’t know if this plan would work… I just wanted to get rid of Thomas once and for all. I wanted this nightmare to be over.

Halos masuka ako nang makarating ako sa loob. Shit! It smelled so horrible! Mabilis akong naghanap ng bagahe para doon ipasok ang katawan. I just wanted to throw this corpse and be done with this! I didn’t want my father to continuously hold this over my head! I wasn’t done with the others; I couldn’t dwell on this for much longer.

Hanggang nandyan pa si Blake, hindi ako matatapos.

He’s the end of this all.

I wouldn’t stop until he’s breathing.

“This will be over,” I said as I kept my hair inside a tight bun and wore gloves. I patted him one more time. I just didn’t want to risk losing anything that I could use to solve this mystery.

“Shit. Shit. Shit!” I kept on cursing as I tried to get Thomas to fit inside the luggage. Punung-puno ng luha ang mga mata ko habang pilit kong ipinapasok siya sa loob. Halos masuka ako sa baho. Shit!

I hugged the toilet when I finally got Thomas inside the luggage. Inilabas ko lahat ng kinain ko mula kahapon. God, I didn’t even know what I was doing anymore! I was so blinded and consumed by everything!

“Malapit na…” I told myself as I stared at the mirror. “You’ll be back in New York. Malapit na…”

Mabilis kong iniayos ang sarili ko. I got Molly’s keys. I just needed to find a place where I could dump the body. This would be over soon. Konti na lang.

I breathed one more time. I needed to calm down. I badly needed to calm down.

When I was finally calmed down, I was about to walk towards the door… when it opened… revealing faces I didn’t want to see. Not right now. Shit.

XXIII. Preparing For The End

XXIII. Preparing For The End

I couldn’t breathe.

Shit!

“Ary?” Nathan asked, looking at me like he was begging for this to not be true. His eyes were on me… pleading. But we both knew the truth. He’s staring at the truth. He was just refusing to acknowledge it.

My eyes went to Andres. His eyes were blazing with the anger that scared me to my core. Gusto kong umatras, pero hindi ko magawa. I felt like one move would be enough for him to unleash all the anger he was keeping.

And that I was the target.

I was a fucking goner.

“I knew there’s something wrong with you,” Andres said, looking at me with his clenched jaw. “You appeared from nowhere. Then things started to get messy.”

Shit.

Shit.

Shit!

I wanted to run, but they were standing in front of the door. I looked around me, and I could make a run towards the room, but I knew I would just be buying time! Andres looked like he was ready to snap my neck anytime!

I was a dead man walking.

“Pierce—”

“Don’t talk to him, you bitch,” Andres said, cutting me off. Humarang siya sa harapan ni Nathan. He knew my game. He knew what I was playing! “Where’s Thomas?”

“I don’t—”

But I wasn’t able to finish what I was saying when I saw him bringing out a gun. His eyes were blazing with rage, and my heart was racing with fear.

“I hate liars,” he continued while he was putting silencer on the gun.

“Pierce—”

Andres pointed the gun at my face. “Who are you?” he asked.

“Ary—”

He fired a shot. Halos mahigit ko ang hininga ko nang tumama iyon sa gilid ko. Shit! An inch more and it would’ve hit me!

“No more lies, Ary, “ he said.

I looked at Nathan in panic, but he looked like he was conflicted. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko! I knew I was screwed! Lalo na kapag nalaman nila na nasa loob ng bagahe ang katawan ni Thomas! How would I even explain that?!

Shaking my head, I looked at him. “I’m not lying.”

Andres clenched his jaw. I caught my breath when I saw him almost pulling the trigger while the gun was aimed at my head. But Nathan stood in front of him.

“Move,” Andres hissed, but Nathan remained unfazed, his eyes on me. Only on me.

“Who are you?” Nathan asked, looking directly into my eyes. I would’ve believed that he was innocent in all this… but he kept on giving me reasons not to! Bakit siya nandito? Bakit niya hinahanap iyong video? Bakit siya lang ang kinasuhan ni Molly? I had so many questions!

I tried to say something, anything, but words failed me. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what I could say to turn the situation around! I knew I was almost as good as dead! Ramdam ko na kung magkakamali ako ng sasabihin, hindi na ako makakalabas pa ng buhay sa kwartong ito!

Not with Andres looking at me with fury that I hadn’t seen in my life before.

“Nathan, move,” Andres said again. Fear crept into my system. I needed to think! I needed to get Nathan on my side!

So, I looked at him.

If… If what I thought was right, he has feelings for me. Kahit kaunti. I’d hold on to that. I needed to hold on to that because I had nothing .

“I…” I croaked. “I’m—”

But I wasn’t able to finish what I was saying when I felt a piercing sensation on my shoulder. My eyes were wide-open upon the realization that I just got shot.

Fuck!

He’s really gonna kill me!

“Andres!” gulat na sigaw ni Nathan. “Shit!”

“Tell us who you are,” Andres demanded.

But I couldn’t move! I couldn’t say a word! I was too stunned by the fact that I just got shot! It was as if I was just realizing the gravity of the situation I was in! That this was beyond serious! That they were willing to have me killed if it means evading the sins they committed in the past!

“Stop! You’ll kill her!”

“I don’t care.”

Fuck! What do I do?!

“Move,” Andres commanded.

Nathan stood still. “Andres, stop this.”

“Are you really gonna trust this over me?” Nathan clenched his jaw. “Know where your loyalty lies, Nathan. Move.”

Nanatiling nakatayo lamang si Nathan. His eyes quickly darted from me. But he wasn’t doing anything. He looked torn. He looked confused. He looked… innocent.

“Nathan—” pagtawag ko.

“Shut your mouth,” Andres said. “You’re lying from the beginning. There’s no Ary Fuentes. I don’t know who you are, but you messed with the wrong people.”

“Andres…” Nathan said. “Just leave her to me,” he continued, trying to convince Andres who seemed to have lost it. He seemed so mad. He looked like he was about to murder me.

“If… If she’s really lying… I’ll take care of it,” he said, looking at Andres, convincing him. “Like I did with Corinne, remember?”

Who was Corinne? And what did Nathan do?

Fuck, I couldn’t die! Not when I still didn’t know what happened that night! And who really were responsible for everything that followed!

For a second, Andres seemed convinced. But that only lasted for a second. He looked like he’s decided to end me tonight. And nothing Nathan says could make him think otherwise.

Umiling si Andres. “Move, or I’ll shoot you both.”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Shit! Would he really shoot Nathan? Pero kakampi niya ito! And as far as I was concerned, he’s the one who’s been cleaning all their mess!

Was I wrong?

Was Nathan really innocent? Was he really just caught in the middle of it all? Like how I was right now? Fucking caught, and now, in the danger of dying without even attaining that justice that I badly wanted.

Nathan looked at him, his jaw clenched in anger that I’d never seen him have before. In a split second, he changed. Ibang-iba sa Nathan na nakikita ko dati… And I didn’t know what to believe. Was this the real him? Was he just pretending all along?

“I’m tired of getting my hands dirty,” Nathan said, fury burning in his eyes. I couldn’t breathe. I was so afraid. I didn’t know what they’d do!

Andres’ face was void of any emotion. And it scared me. He’s like the devil… he looked so dangerous. My entire system was shouting for me to leave, to run far away from him… But I couldn’t move. And I couldn’t leave Nathan with him! Lalo na ngayon at hindi na ako sigurado kung sino ang totoo sa hindi! Kung sino ang kaaway sa kakampi!

I was losing my mind!

“Then let’s end your misery,” Andres said.

Nathan wasn’t backing down. He was looking at Andres like he knew what he was doing. I didn’t know what was happening!

“If I die… If Ary dies…” he said, throwing me a quick glance. I saw his jaw clenched when he saw my bleeding arm. “The video will leak.”

I saw how Andres’ face contorted in anger.

“And you know who will be in a lot of trouble if that gets out… Vice,” Nathan hissed.

Shit!

Unti-unting umiling si Andres. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me,” Nathan taunted. “I’m tired of cleaning after your mess. I’m not your fucking errand boy,” he said, his eyes still on Andres, taunting him, mocking him. Gusto kong itanong kung ano ang meron sa video na iyon para makaramdam ng ganitong klase ng takot si Andres. Dahil ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagbabago ng sitwasyon nang marinig niya ang tungkol doon.

“Kill me,” Nathan said. “Harvey is dead. Thomas is dead. I’ll be dead. Who will die next, Vice? Because my guess is just as good as yours,” he continued. I felt like they were talking about something that only the two of them knew…

Was it Blake?

Siya ba?

Hindi ko na alam!

“You’re lying,” Andres said. “There’s no video.”

“There is,” Nathan replied. “But take the chance. I don’t care. I’m done with your games.”

Umiling si Andres. “No. And move.”

Umigting ang panga ni Nathan. He knew. And I knew. I wasn’t gonna survive this day. At kung hindi man ngayon, alam ko na hindi na ako magtatagal pa. Looking at Andres, I knew that he wouldn’t stop until I was still breathing. I knew that he’d make it his personal mission to make sure that I’d be dead.

This needed to end tonight.

I wasn’t sure about tomorrow anymore.

Nang hindi gumalaw si Nathan, mabilis siyang hinawi ni Andres. I froze at the realization that the gun was right in front of me! Na isang galaw niya lang, tapos na ang buong pagkatao ko!

I wanted to move.

I wanted to get out of the way!

But I was frozen in fear!

My entire body was convulsing in fear as I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable. Gusto kong ipikit ang mga mata ko para hintayin na lang ang pagtatapos ng buhay ko.

Pamela was right; death was the only end for me.

And I was about to get it.

I closed my eyes, preparing for the end of it all.

XXIV. Face Of Betrayal

XXIV. Face Of Betrayal

My breathing hitched upon hearing a loud bang. I felt like my world stopped. I thought I was dead… so, I opened my eyes. But what was before me made me scared for my life even more.

“N-Nathan…” I said as I stared at the lifeless body of Andres before me.

Nathan’s eyes were wide in shock—as if he was just realizing the gravity of the situation that we were both in. Like I was, I felt like he wasn’t breathing, too. I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was stuck in the middle of an impossible situation. A situation that the both of us couldn’t get out of.

“Shit…” I uttered and cursed even more. Pakiramdam ko ay nasasakal ako. Hindi ako maka-hinga. Gusto kong umiyak. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang una kong dapat maramdaman!

“Shit,” I repeated as I stared at Andres in front of me. Blood was starting to pool around his body. Gusto ko na lang umalis. Gusto kong tumakbo. Gusto kong bumalik sa pagtatago.

Nathan still wasn’t moving. I didn’t know what I’d do! I didn’t know what to do with Thomas and Andres!

“What are you doing?” he asked when he saw me getting the phone. Noon lang siya nagsalita nang makita niyang may hawak ako.

“Calling the police,” I said as I began to dial. “Doing something I should’ve done a long time ago!”

“Hello—” I said when the other line answered, but the call was cut short when Nathan snatched the phone from my hand. “What do you think you’re doing?!” I shouted at him. Dalawang katawan ang nasa kwarto ngayon! Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin ko! I wasn’t a criminal! I didn’t want to dispose two bodies because I knew that if Andres didn’t manage to kill me now, this… this fucking memory would haunt me until my dying breath! And I didn’t want to live like that!

“Don’t,” he said.

“But he’s dead! Someone’s dead!”

But Nathan only remained calm. Muli ko na namang naramdaman ang galit sa puso ko. Was this the real him?! I didn’t know what’s real with him anymore! Oo, pinatanggol niya ako kay Andres, but we’re about to go to the same path they all treaded before! Pagtatakpan ba namin ang nangyari ngayon?!

Because if that’s what’s about to happen, I was just like them.

I’d become the person I hate.

A fucking hypocrite.

“Nathan—”

“Who are you?” he asked.

I looked him in the eye. I wanted him to know who I was. I was tired of pretending. I was tired of playing. I just wanted this to end.

“You know who I am,” I breathed.

“I don’t know you,” he replied.

My jaw clenched. He didn’t know me? He couldn’t see the resemblance between Molly and me? Iyong babae na isang taon niyang nakita sa korte dahil sa kaso na kinaharap nilang dalawa?!

Did Molly’s life really did not matter to him? Para kalimutan niya nang ganoon na lang?

“You know… I want to think that you’re innocent, Nathan. That you’re a good person who’s just caught in the middle of this all… But you don’t care. You don’t care about the person who killed herself because of you. You’re fucking apathetic. And that makes you the worst of them all.”

Nathan’s looked at me like realization was just starting to dawn on him.

“Molly…” he breathed. I remained silent. I wanted him to bathe in the fact that I was the sister of the girl who killed herself because of him. I wanted him to know that. I wanted him to stare at me knowing that I lost someone because of him.

I wanted him to hurt like I was hurting.

I wanted him to suffer.

“I didn’t—” he began. “Fuck. I didn’t touch your sister, Ary… if that’s even your name. I didn’t touch her. I didn’t even talk to her. I didn’t even wanna know her.”

Umiling ako. “Why would I even believe you? You’re a liar. You’re a coward, Nathan!”

“Because that’s the truth! I didn’t touch Molly. I’d never do that to someone!”

“No—”

“Why? Because you believe everything you read on the papers? Watched on the news?”

“You’re lying…” I whispered, but he continued to stand right in front of me, looking at me as if he was telling me that he wasn’t lying. That I should look at him, that I should listen.

“I’m not,” he said. He took another step, making me hold on to my breath. He held my chin, and made me look at him. “Listen to me…” sabi niya, seryoso. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng kaba… ng takot… “You won’t call the police. You won’t tell anyone about this…”

Umiling ako. “I’m not like you—”

“You don’t know me.”

“I know you. You’re a coward.”

Ramdam ko ang paghigpit ng hawak niya sa akin. I could see him gritting his teeth in controlled anger.

“I’m not a coward.”

“Then why are you doing this?! Bakit ka pumapayag na gawin nila iyon?! Why are you cleaning after their mess?!”

“Because this is not just about me!”

“Then who is this about?! Tell me because I don’t understand anything anymore!”

Instead of saying something, he dragged me outside of the unit. I tried to fight him, but it was of no use. He was determined to bring me to wherever it was!

“Nathan—”

“Shut up. Please.”

Agad akong natigilan. I… I could never understand him.

“Please…” he pleaded. “I’m tired. I’m tired of doing this again and again.”

Hindi ako nakapagsalita. Hindi ko alam kung ano pa ang dapat kong gawin.

“Get inside,” sabi niya nang huminto kami sa tapat ng isang sasakyan. I went in. I didn’t know what to do anymore. Nang pumasok si Nathan, mayroon siyang tinawagan. I remained silent on my seat. “Hi. I need a favor. I need you to clean something. Yes. No, not like before. I’ll send you the other details. Don’t tell my dad,” he finally said before ending the call.

Umawang ang labi ko. He’s… he’s gonna bury it. He’s gonna bury the crime like he did before.

“Seatbelt,” he said. I didn’t move. He clenched his jaw before removing his seatbelt to fix mine. I could feel his breathe on my face. “Stop being so stubborn, please,” he said, his face just inches away from mine.

“Are you gonna kill me, too? Like you did with everyone else? And then bury the evidence? Like you did with everything else?”

But he didn’t answer.

He just drove in silence.

---

I kept my eyes on every road we took. I wanted to remember everything… in case Nathan would really kill me. Hindi ko na kasi alam. Pagdating sa kanya, naguguluhan ako. Hindi ko alam kung alin ang dapat kong paniwalaan sa iba-ibang bagay na ipinapakita niya.

He’s a mystery.

The hardest to solve.

Because every version seemed believable.

To the point of confusion and warped reality.

“You can’t stop me,” I told him when we stopped. “I want to go to the police, Nathan. I want to tell them everything. I want this to end.”

“But it won’t end,” he said. The engine was dead. There was only this unnerving silence between us. The cold brush of air against our skin. It was chilling. It was daunting.

“It will. There’s an end to everything.”

We were both seating in silence. As if we were deciding on how everything would go down. He couldn’t convince me otherwise. Pagod na ako. Gusto ko na lang matapos ang lahat ng ’to.

“Say you go to the police,” he began. “I get jailed. It’s fine, really. I don’t care anymore.”

“Are you saying that you’re guilty?”

“Of being pushed around? I am.”

“Of killing Molly?”

“I told you… I never touched her. I didn’t even talk to her.”

“You’re lying. I saw her affidavit. Nagkita kayo. Nag-usap kayo.”

He laid his head against the headrest. Ipinikit ang mga mata.

“Even after everything, you still haven’t learned anything,” he said before he opened the door. Mabilis akong sumunod sa kanya. We weren’t done talking! I wasn’t done asking!

“I’m gonna go—”

“Then go,” he cut me off. “But me being in jail doesn’t mean this all ends.”

“What do you mean?”

But he didn’t stop. He continued to walk until we reached the inside of a house. Pero agad akong natigilan nang nakita ko roon si Pamela. And another girl.

“You… you know each other?” I asked, my heart constricting from the betrayal that was unraveling before me.

XXV. Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez

XXV. Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez

“Have you already passed your requirements?” Dad asked.

I nodded, silently eating my food and wishing that this mandatory dinner once a month be done and over with.

“What about review center? Have you picked one yet?” he asked again.

“Still deciding,” I replied, but of course I got an earful from him. I couldn’t be less than ‘perfect.’ I needed to live up to the standards he set for us. After all, I was supposed to follow after his footsteps. Justin’s not really interested in anything but being a first grade asshole. Kier has shut the door to politics a long time ago. It’s just me. Everything is on my fucking shoulders.

After that tensed dinner, I immediately drove back to Manila. I didn’t care that it was almost midnight. I needed to get away from this hellhole as soon as possible. Even a second more would send me over the edge.

I was supposed to go to the condo to rest when I received a text from Andres. I knew it was serious. He never texts… It’s almost always Thomas. And receiving a text from Andres? It scared me. A little. That guy always scared me. He’s not more of a word kind of person. He’s more on the action. And it’s fucking scary because he wouldn’t really ask you—he’d straight up give you what he thinks you deserve.

The door was open.

Which was uncommon.

My lips parted when I saw how messy the cabin was. It felt like someone ransacked the place.

“What—”

“That bitch!” Andres shouted in anger.

“We’re not allowed to take the BAR,” Blake casually said while sipping whiskey.

Agad na kumunot ang noo ko. “What? Why? I thought you already passed your requirements earlier?” I asked. They passed earlier. I wasn’t supposed to pass together with them because I was the ‘neophyte.’ Stupid tradition. I wouldn’t even have joined this fucking fraternity if not for the ‘legacy.’ My father just threatened to disown me if I didn’t join. Kaya kahit dulo na, pinayagan pa rin akong sumali. Why wouldn’t they, anyway? Kapag may gulo ang frat nila, tatay ko ang umaayos. I didn’t understand. My father badly wanted to remain in their good graces. It was funny, really. I never thought I’d live to see the day where the great Congressman Norberto Ramirez would bow down to anyone.

That’s the thing I didn’t like the most about this brotherhood. Pinagtatakpan kahit mali. Nakaka-suka.

“Well, that holier-than-thou Molly snitched us to the admin!”

My forehead creased. Molly? Who was that? Tumingin ako kay Blake para magtanong. I really couldn’t remember who that was. I really try not to pay attention to anything related to this little group. As much as possible, I’d like to stay away from their business.

“Julian,” Blake simply said.

Ah. Julian. Iyong lalaki na nambastos kay Sabrina. Iyong binugbog nila na nasa ICU pa rin hanggang ngayon. Akala ko walang nakakita? Sinumbong pala sila ni Molly?

I stayed until the sun rose. I really didn’t know what to do, anyway. It was already done. The only choice was to appeal to the Supreme Court, but I doubt that they’d do that. Julian’s case was a pretty popular one. It grazed all the big networks. Tanga din kasi sila Thomas. Hindi naisip na anak ng senador si Julian.

The next few days, I continued with my life. I reviewed for the BAR subjects—quietly, if I could manage. But I really couldn’t find peace because every time they’d look at me, I could see resentment. Na parang kasalanan ko pa na hindi sila makakapagtake ng exam? Sino ba ang tanga na gumawa ng gulo kahit na alam nila na mahigpit ang requirement? You can’t be involved in a crime of moral turpitude. It’s as if they forgot everything we learned in Legal Ethics.

“What?” I asked when I saw Cris, one of the members, approaching me. I really didn’t know everyone—I didn’t bother to know them. I was already almost done here. I just wanted to leave in peace. But of course that was impossible.

He cocked his head. “I’ll introduce you.”

“To whom?” I asked. I really didn’t need any distraction right now. I just wanted to finish reviewing. To take the BAR. To pass it.

He pointed at a girl who was standing behind the line. She looked familiar. Saan ko siya nakita?

“Bakit mo ko ipapakilala?”

He shrugged. “Vice said.”

“Why?”

“Di ko alam, okay? Tara na,” sabi niya kaya tumayo na ako. Lumapit kami sa babae. Para akong nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig nang marinig ko kung ano ang pangalan niya.

“Hi! Nathan, right?”

Fuck.

Fuck!

Bakit ako nandito?! I didn’t want to be connected with their mess! I was almost done with everything! Why did they keep on trying to pull me down?!

I didn’t answer. I ignored her. I didn’t care if she thought I was rude.

Ayokong madamay.

That’s her choice to tell on them. It’s my choice to stay away.

But of course Andres wouldn’t let me get off the hook.

“I have to study,” I told him when he forced me to attend a party. I knew there’s something that’s going to happen.

“Come on!” Thomas said, draping his arm around my shoulder. “It’s Mia’s party! BAR send-off!”

What the fuck were they up to? Bakit kailangang kasama ako? They knew I was studying.

“It’s the last weekend,” I said.

“Exactly! You already finished three weeks of the exam!” Thomas butted in. He just had to. He’s so fucking talkative. It would be a pleasure to shut his mouth for once. “And it’s just remedial law. You got it.”

Shit.

I couldn’t do anything. They wouldn’t let me go. Resisting them was futile. Pumayag na lang ako na sumama sa kanila. Hindi ako mapakali sa tingin ni Blake. Kanina pa siya patingin-tingin. I knew something was up. They wouldn’t force me like this for nothing.

Pagdating namin sa Shangri-la, agad akong naghanap ng tubig. I shouldn’t be drunk tonight. I still needed to study tomorrow. I had an exam on Friday. I couldn’t waste all the effort I exerted just to follow these guys’ whims.

And I should be alert. They’re planning something—something I surely wouldn’t want to be a part of. I needed to stay focused.

In the middle of the party, I saw how Thomas and Harvey were already starting to get drunk—drunker than usual. Blake and Andres still looked fine—which made me even more nervous. What was these two up to? And what was my part in this shit?

“Nathan,” Andres called me.

“What?”

Hindi siya sumagot. Nagsimula siyang maglakad. Sumunod kaming dalawa ni Blake sa kanya. Napa-mura na lang ako nang makita ko kung sino ang nasa harap namin.

“Hi…” Molly said, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. Of course, why wouldn’t she be? She’s face to face with the guys she snitched on. The guys who weren’t able to take the BAR because of her. The guys whose parents were immensely disappointed. And those parents? It’s not nice to see them disappointed.

“Hey, Molls!” Thomas whispered in Molly’s ears, making her jump in surprise. Molls? The fuck.

“H-hi…”

“Have a drink,” Thomas said, offering her a glass of alcohol. Molly looked at me for rescue, but I immediately looked away. What was she doing here anyway?! She’s not a law student! Didn’t she even find the invitation weird?!

“N-no, thanks…”

“Oh, come on! I thought we’re all good?” Thomas asked, still pushing Molly to take a sip.

Pressured, Molly finally gave in. But the drinks didn’t stop. They kept on giving her drinks until she couldn’t stand straight anymore.

Nakita ko na may binulong si Blake sa tenga ni Andres. Andres turned to Thomas. And Thomas started to guide Molly.

“Andres—”

But he cut me off with his stares. “You have to review, right? You can now go home,” he said. But of course I couldn’t! Paano ako uuwi kung ganoon si Molly?! I felt fucking responsible kahit wala naman akong ginawa!

Fuck! I just wanted to live in peace?! Bakit ba nila ako dinadamay dito?!

I followed them hanggang sa makarating kami sa basement. A van was waiting. It felt all planned.

“Blake,” I called. He looked like he’s the only one whom I could talk with sense. “What are they doing?”

He only grinned. “She had her fun… Let them have theirs,” he only said before he shut the door of the van.

---

I felt like I’d die from fear. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin nila. Natutulog si Molly sa tabi ko. Mukhang lasing na lasing na sila Harvey. Pati si Andres, hindi ko maintindihan. Tawa nang tawa si Blake.

“Stop!” Thomas said in the middle of the drive. Napa-tingin ako nang bigla siyang bumaba. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang biglang hatakin niya iyong babae papasok sa van.

Fuck! Tangina?!

“Molly’s pussy can’t satisfy us all!” Thomas roared in laughter habang sumisigaw pa rin iyong babae. Tumatawa silang lahat. They looked—did they take drugs?!

“Are you all high?!” sigaw ko.

“You want a drag, boy?” Thomas asked, tapping my cheek who was red in anger from everything. “Hey, Blake! Do you still have some?”

Nanginginig ako hanggang sa makarating kami sa cabin. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang ginawa ni Thomas para tumigil iyong babae sa pagsigaw. Tahimik pa rin si Molly na natutulog sa tabi ko.

Binuhat ni Harvey si Molly papasok.

“What?” Blake asked. We were left outside. I was frozen. Everything happened quickly. Shit.

“This… this is illegal.”

“We’re not doing anything,” he said, then turned his eyes on the door of the cabin that was still wide open. Kitang-kita namin kung paanong nilalagyan ng piring nila ang mata ni Molly. Rinig na rinig ko ang sigaw nung babae.

“Blake—”

“You already ditched us before, Nathan. Ditch us again and you’ll see,” he said, tapping my shoulder, before he went inside.

Hindi ako maka-galaw. Para akong mabibingi sa bawat sigaw na naririnig ko. Gusto kong umalis. Gusto kong umuwi. Gusto kong magpanggap na hindi nangyayari lahat ng ’to.

“Nathan!” Thomas shouted. “Come join the fun!”

“Hey, boy! If you’re just gonna stand there, might as well take the camera from Thomas and record everything!” Harvey shouted. I could see how red his eyes were. How he was acting strangely. This wasn’t him.

I still couldn’t move. I saw Blake emerging. He was staring at me. Like he was trying to ascertain where my loyalty lies. But how could I be loyal to them?

To such vindictive people?

To people who believe that the world owed them?

“Are you a traitor, Nathan? You let us take the fall with Julian. Are you gonna do that again? Are you gonna choose that bitch who messed with us, your brothers?” Blake asked. He took a step forward. “Your father wouldn’t appreciate you being like this, Nathan…” he said, tapping my cheek.

Nagsimula siyang maglakad palayo.

“Stay… or leave and never show your face in front of me again,” he said before he went back inside.

---

I tried to leave.

But I came back.

Every time I would close my eyes, I could see Molly’s face. I could see the girl’s scream. Kaya bago pa man ako makarating sa condo, bumaling na ulit ako para bumalik… pero mabilis akong napaatras nang makita ko kung ano ang nangyayari.

“Nathan, no!” I heard Molly’s voice.

“You came back,” Blake said. He was sitting with his legs crossed. He was drinking. He looked at me, amused.

My heart was beating fast. What the fuck was happening?!

“Nathan, please stop!” I heard Molly’s shouts again. And groaning. And laughing. “Please don’t do this! Nathan! No! Please! Stop!”

My whole body was shaking. Why… why was she shouting my name?!

Blake looked at me, amused, as my feet dragged me. Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko nang buksan ko ang pinto. Halos tumigil ang paghinga ko nang makita ko si Molly sa sahig… at makita ko sila Thomas na may suot na maskara na may mukha ko.

“Sorry,” Blake said. “We thought you bailed. As usual.”

My breathing deepened.

They… they’re using my face. As they raped her.

“Nathan…” she said. “Stop…”

I couldn’t move.

“Since you’re here, you can help me with something,” Blake said, tapping my shoulder. “Take care of the girl in the other room.”

I couldn’t move.

I couldn’t breathe.

I… I just kept on hearing her shout my name.

---

They thought she was dead.

The girl in the other room.

They… used her until she couldn’t move. Binuhat ko siya palabas. Gusto ko lang umalis. Gusto ko lang matigil ang pagsigaw niya sa pangalan ko.

I put her in the backseat of my car. I didn’t know where I’d go.

“Nathan,” Blake said while knocking on the window. I rolled it down. “After that, don’t come back.”

“What will you do with her?”

Sabay kaming napatingin sa loob nang sumigaw na naman siya nang malakas—pero mas malakas ang pagtawa nila Thomas.

“Clean her. We won’t kill her, if that’s what you’re worried about. She’s an Esquivel, afterall,” he said, then threw a glance at the girl on the backseat. “That, however… Take care of it, Nathan. She seemed dead already, anyway. Just dump her somewhere. Don’t make a problem for us.”

I knew what he meant. I knew what he wanted me to do. But I wasn’t that kind of person. I didn’t want to be that kind of person. I refused to be that kind of person.

I drove around. I didn’t want to stop driving. I didn’t want to stop because if I stopped… what would I do?

“T-tulong…”

I almost hit the brake when I heard a voice behind me. I looked at the rearview mirror and saw the girl with her eyes open, trying to ask for help. My heart began to beat faster. Shit! Shit! She’s alive! Ano’ng gagawin ko?!

“What did you do, Nathan?” Ary asked me. She was shaking. She was shaking in anger. She was looking at me with disgust. I was disgusted with myself, too. I was disgusted because I chose not to do anything.

Until now, I could still remember how I felt that night.

“I… I tried to leave her. I couldn’t kill her. I’m not a murderer,” I began. “I tried to leave her… but Pamela saw her. She helped her… And I guess after she learned about Molly, she tracked you down. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.”

She wasn’t breathing.

“And that girl… That was the girl you saw earlier.”

Her lips parted. “Corinne?” she asked. I nodded. “Why… why did you just let her come forward, Nathan?! This could’ve been avoided! Hindi ka naman kasama sa mga ginawa nila! Bakit hindi mo sila sinumbong?!”

I stared at her, jealous of the faith she still had.

I had no more of that.

I was already jaded.

There’s no justice.

You only make justice.

“Blake,” I said. “Blake knows that Corinne is still alive when I took her away. It’s either she’s still alive… which makes me a traitor… or I killed her… which makes me a murderer. There’s no winning this.”

She shook her head. “Why are you so afraid of him, Nathan? What did he have on you?! Bakit ka ganyan ka-duwag?!”

“I’m not afraid of him.”

“Then who are you afraid of?”

“His father,” I said. Her lips parted. I guessed she didn’t know who his father is.

Epilogue I

This Is How It Ends

Everyone would pay.

No one would get away.

“Do you have an appointment?” the secretary asked me as I stood in front of her. I looked around, immensely dismayed at how the justice works… Or was justice really just a social construct? Something that was made for us to feel safer—even if it was just a false sense of security?

I nodded. “Yes,” I said. “Mallary Esquivel,” I continued. I made sure to use my real last name. I knew that if I used another, he’d never agree to see me. But I need to see him. I need to talk to him.

Before I do anything, I needed to give him a chance. Because I knew that once I start, there’s no going back.

At least not for Blake.

The secretary’s lips parted as she heard my name. “O-okay… I’ll assist you to his chamber,” she said as she guided me. Tahimik lang akong naglalakad hanggang sa makarating kami doon. Napa-titig ako sa naka-sulat sa pintuan niya.

Honorable Oscar Valderrama

Presiding Judge

Sandiganbayan

“He’s inside, Ma’am,” she said, and I thanked her. Ilang segundo akong nanatiling nakatayo sa labas ng pintuan niya, patuloy na humihinga nang malalaim habang naghahanap ng lakas ng loob.

Bakit ba ako nandito?

Kasi walang pag-asa iyong anak niya. I tried… I tried to talk to Blake but he’s beyond saving! He believed that no one could touch him because of his father! And maybe he was right… but up to what extent?

Hanggang saan lang ba siya kayang protektahan?

“Mallary Esquivel.”

His mere voice was enough to send shivers up to my spine. Halos hindi ako maka-hinga nang makita ko siya. The real devil in flesh. I was finally face to face with him.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked as I stood frozen in front of him. My eyes roamed around. I could see piles of folders… isa ba doon ang kaso ng pamilya ni Nathan? Iyong dahilan kung bakit hindi niya magawang magsumbong? Dahil sa takot na baka sila na ang susunod?

Justice… a work of imagination.

Something to make you sleep better at night.

“I know you know who I am.”

He plopped his hands on top of the table, and stared at me as if he was studying my every move. I didn’t know what was with him that scared me like this? Was it because he’s really the one behind everything? The person who’s the reason why Blake’s unstoppable?

“Of course,” he replied. “Who do you think helped your father bury everything about you and your brother?”

Halos manginig ang buong pagkatao ko nang marinig ko iyon.

“For a fifteen year old, you’re quite violent, Mallary. Have you seen your Dad? The last time I heard, he’s looking for you,” he said. “He needs you now that Molly’s dead.”

How fucking dare him say Molly’s name?!

“Blake killed Molly,” I said through gritted teeth and controlled anger. I couldn’t lose myself right now. Siguro nga tanga ako dahil umaasa ako na pwede ko siyang makausap… but I needed to gamble!

He laid his back against his chair. “As far as I am concerned, Molly overdosed. And Blake was with me when that happened.”

Ikinuyom ko ang mga kamay ko. “You know what I mean.”

“What do you really want? Molly’s case is closed.”

“You know it was Blake,” I said with my lips shivering with fury. How could he be this relaxed?! Was this normal for him?! His son doing shits like this, and him cleaning up after him?!

“As I have said, there is no evidence to point to that conclusion, Mallary. It’s hard to make accusations without facts to back them up.”

Gusto kong maiyak sa galit.

Ganito ba?

Ito ba ang dahilan kung bakit siya nag-aral? Para gamitin ang batas sa kapakanan nila?!

“Blake did that…” I said, tears brimming in my eyes. I felt so frustrated! Frustrated because I was again slapped with the truth that I didn’t have the law behind me! That the very law that was supposed to protect Molly was being twisted and used to protect the person who hurt her!

He stared at me. With sinister expression on his face.

“Dura lex sed lex, Mallary Esquivel…” he said. “The law may be harsh, but it is the law.”

---

I left that fucking building with an angered heart and furious soul. I knew he was a devil… but I didn’t know he could be that heartless! He knew everything that his son did, but he didn’t care! All he knew was that as long as there’s no evidence, there’s no crime!

That’s the law?! Well, fuck him!

“I’m in,” I said when Nathan answered the call.

“Okay,” he replied. I could sense the hesitation in his voice. I couldn’t let him snap out of his conscience. Not now. Not when I was shaking in anger because of the fucking injustice in this forsaken country!

“Remember Molly… and Corinne…” I reminded him.

His end of the line became silent. And the silence was so sharp that it could almost slice me open.

“For once, Nathan… Do what’s right,” I said before ending the call.

I knew what I would be doing was a suicide mission. I didn’t even know if it would work, but I needed to do this. I didn’t have anyone anymore. I didn’t have anyone to help me but myself.

And I refused to trust anyone.

No one is worthy to be trusted.

They are all liars.

Like myself.

We all tell lies to protect ourselves…

Hind pa man ako nakaka-ilang hakbang ay mabilis kong nakita ang taong pinaka-tinatakbuhan ko.

“What?” I snapped when I saw him again. Ano ba’ng hindi niya maintindihan na wala akong balak bumalik sa kanya?! He already lived as if I was dead! Ano bang dapat pang magbago?!

“Come home.”

“No,” I said as I tried to get past him.

“Mallary,” he said in the voice the he used to use when he was trying to scare me. But that didn’t work on me. Not anymore. I was tired of everyone trying to scare me. They all wanted the same thing—to be above all else.

I stopped to face him. He stared at me. I didn’t care. No amount of melancholy in his eyes could convince me that he changed… Not when he fucking left me in that house with my brother’s corpse. Not when he told me to stare at the result of my callousness.

That haunted me for months.

The very reason why I couldn’t stare at his face.

Because he looked like him.

And every time I’d look at my father, I’d remember him.

I’d remember all those days where I watched my brother rot. Nang mga panahon na pakiramdam ko ay tuluyan na akong tatakasan ng bait… Na kung hindi dahil kay David, kung hindi siya huminto nang makita niya akong tumatakbo, sigurado akong mamamatay na lang ako sa takot na nararamdaman ko.

David saved me.

If not for him, I would’ve died earlier than Molly.

But maybe that was better. Because if that happened, I wouldn’t have to confront the fucking reality that I couldn’t do anything… That my hands are tied… Just because there’s no evidence to back up the truth.

Truth.

Funny how it’s now subject to validation.

“What do you want for you to come home?” he asked.

“Molly,” I said. “Can you give me justice for Molly’s death?” I asked, but he remained silent. “I thought so.”

Nagsimula akong muling maglakad nang marinig ko na naman ang boses niya mula sa likuran ko. Bakit niya ba ako kailangan? I wasn’t interested in whatever he has to offer! No amount of money could entice me to go back to that hell he called home.

“Don’t,” he said. “Whatever you’re planning, don’t.”

Agad akong napa-hinto.

“Mallary—”

“Is that what you told Molly?”

I could see the hesitation in his eyes. His fear of answering my question. Did he really think that there’s anything he could tell me that would make me hate him than I already do?

I scoffed. “You’re so afraid of him… When you should be afraid of yourself… Of the monster that you’ve become.”

---

I began with the plan. I did everything that I was asked. I convinced myself over and over again that this was the only way… That if I couldn’t get justice, then I’d use it the same way they bent it.

I’d have to play it the way they did.

It’s the only way.

“Are you ready?” Nathan asked.

I nodded. “Let’s do this.”

---

This was a long con. It wasn’t even something that I was sure would work… but it was a risk that I was very much willing to take.

With Blake grinning in front of me, I stomached the disdain that I felt for him. I had nothing but anger for him.

“What? You’re done chasing justice?” he asked as he was standing in front of me.

Nathan said that I had to do this right. Sabi niya, kapag may mali akong nagawa, hindi kami magtatagumpay. Magagaya sa nangyari sa kaso ni Molly… How a mere fucking technicality trashed the whole case…

Nakaka-suka.

I nodded, looking at him. “It’s useless. There’s no justice.”

He arched his brow, surprised with the sudden change of my stance. We had been going out for days—and I was careful. I made sure that for every time we went out, at least a soul could confirm that we’re together. That there’s a connection between us.

That there’s an affair.

Because if we’d pull this off, we needed to be careful with the details.

I took a step, stopping in front of him. I made sure that there were cameras in all angles that would record everything that would go down.

“Didn’t you feel the least apologetic, Blake?” I asked, leaning in, staring directly into the eyes of the murderer.

His eyes were cold, unforgiving. “I didn’t touch anyone,” he said.

There’s no point in trying to understand him.

He’s beyond saving.

He’s too caught with his reality—the reality his father built inside his head. The as long as you did nothing that the law could punish, you did nothing wrong…

And that’s precisely what was wrong with him.

He’s fucking rotten from the inside.

“Aren’t you curious about what happened to your friends?” I asked, touching his cheek.

His eyes were on me, calculating my every move, but he didn’t know what I was up to… not right now, at least.

“I don’t let myself wonder about things that don’t concern me.”

I nodded, finally convinced that there’s no hope for him.

I touched his face, then closed the distance between us. I knew he didn’t love me—he was not capable of love, no. But he wanted me. At least.

And when I felt him responding to my kiss, I quickly discarded both our clothes. Ilang segundo pa lang ang halik niya sa akin ay parang gusto ko nang tumakbo palayo. But I needed to do this. I needed to end this now.

“You’re fucked in the head, too, huh?” he asked as I straddled his legs. “Have you forgotten what I did to Molly?” he whispered in my ears. The devil was careful. He never slipped—not once. I could never catch him blatantly revealing his true self.

I grinned, trying to conceal the disdain I was feeling. “Maybe it’s true, what they said. Birds of the same feather fuck together,” I said as I lowered myself on him.

“What’s the plan,” I asked Nathan.

“You want to get revenge on Blake?”

I nodded. “And his father,” I said through gritted teeth. That monster! He’s the reason why Blake turned out the way he was! If I wanted this to end, I should cut the root!

“What do you want?”

“I want Blake to die,” I breathed. I tried. I tried so hard to understand him, to make him understand, but there’s no saving his soul. And jail? That would be pushing it too hard. Tanggap ko na. Tanggap ko na na kahit kailan, hindi makukulong si Blake… At least not in this goddamn lifetime.

Nathan nodded, sensing how serious I was. Because I am .

“Do you know Article 247 of the Revised Penal Code?” he asked.

Umiling ako. “What’s that?”

“Death under exceptional circumstances…” he said as he began to explain to me everything that we needed to do. Halos hindi ako huminga nang magsimula siyang magpaliwanag.

My lips parted.

My heart racing.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.

I looked at him. “Are you sure you wanna do this?” I asked him back.

And we both nodded.

Epilogue II

High Profile Murder Case Involving Two of the Most Powerful Political Clans in the Country Takes A Surprising Turn

Manila, Philippines — On November 25, 2018, Blake Christian Valderrama, son of Honorable Oscar Valderrama, was found dead inside the house of Nathaniel Pierce Ramirez.

The Timeline

November 2018

Officers were called to 122 Salcedo Village, Makati around 9 p.m. Sunday night, after a neighbor had reported hearing a heated altercation and a suspected gunshot. The officers promptly responded, but when they arrived at the scene, they found Valderrama already dead on the spot. Reports showed that Valderrama died from blunt force trauma to the head. 

December 2018

Further investigations revealed that Valderrama was having an affair with Mallary Esquivel when Ramirez caught them in the act of sexual intercourse, which ultimately led to the death of Valderrama. 

Following the arraignments, Ramirez pleaded guilty of the murder of Valderrama, but has offered the defense of death under exemplary circumstances. Ramirez claimed that he found Valderrama and Esquivel, his alleged wife, in throes of passion, which prompted him to act against the deceased. 

January 2019

The trial that caught the interest of the whole nation ensued. The majority believed that Ramirez would get acquitted because of the video that verified his claim of catching Valderrama and Esquivel in the middle of intercourse. 

But Esquivel, who was supposed to testify in favor of Ramirez, surprisingly turned against him when she testified under oath that she is already married to a certain David Gallardo, making her alleged marriage with Ramirez void ab initio.

Ramirez, who seemed to be surprised with the sudden turn of events, is still in the custody of the police pending the trial for his case of murder.

Epilogue III

This Is How Irony Works

“I’m sorry you had to go home,” I said as I personally picked David up from the airport. The prosecution summoned for his presence because his statement was needed to verify my statement that we’re married.

It was true.

We’re married.

At least, on papers.

I could see the look of disappointment in his eyes. Nang una akong nagsabi na uuwi ako sa Pilipinas, hindi siya pumayag. He was there when I was at my lowest—he was the one who patiently waited until the nightmares subsided…

“What did you do, Mallary?” he asked as I helped him carry his bag. He only brought a single bag. Halatang ayaw magtagal dito. “And why are we surrounded with—” he said as a man in uniform assisted us inside the car.

Tumahimik muna ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano iyon sasagutin. How would I tell him that I gave up the fight against my father? I initially didn’t want to see even his shadow… pero nang sabihin sa akin na kailangang umuwi ni David, naisip ko na sino ang po-protekta sa kanya?

I had no one.

Only my family could extend protection.

So, I swallowed my pride. I told them that I’d come back… I’d take Molly’s place, anything, just to make sure that when David comes home, he’d be protected. Dahil alam ko na hindi titigil ang pamilya ni Nathan hanggang hindi ito napapalaya.

And the only thing that’s stopping them was David’s presence in my life. Because as long as I am legally married to David, Nathan couldn’t use me as his defense.

“It’s… protocol,” sabi ko na lang. Mabuti at mukhang pagod si David sa byahe kaya naman naka-tulog siya. I couldn’t answer more of his questions. I didn’t want to lie to him.

Ginising ko siya nang makarating kami sa hotel. The whole floor was rented. My father’s men were roaming around, making sure that there’s no threat.

Dapat lang.

Sa oras na may mangyari kay David, sinisigurado ko na kahit anino ko, hinding-hindi makikita ng tatay ko. I’d make sure that he’d die without an heir. I’d make sure na mapupunta sa wala lahat ng pinaghirapan niya.

“Tomorrow, you’d be cross-examined,” I said.

“About?”

“Our marriage.”

“Aren’t you the least bit worried that they’re gonna find out?”

“About what?”

“Your deal with Nathan… That you two agreed to ‘get married’ and… kill Blake? That you were in it all along?”

I looked at him. It’s funny what a short amount of time could do to you. Kung dati? Sigurado ako na hindi ko iyon magagawa. I’d probably be too fucking weak to even agree to the idea… but staying here? Being exposed to every injustice? I finally learned the hard lesson—you make your own justice.

“Technically, I did nothing wrong, David. Technically, based on all records gathered for the trial, I was under a lot of duress when I got married to Nathan…” I said, my lips stretched into a sinister smile. “ Technically , the law couldn’t touch me.“

He sighed, obviously displeased with how drastically I’ve changed. But if I didn’t, no one would pay for anything… Paulit-ulit lang ’tong mangyayari. This fucking cycle would continue.

“Did you really have to do that?”

I pressed my lips. Did I? I didn’t have to… Kung tutuusin, si Nathan ang nag-isip ng lahat… He’s the one who devised the plan in which I could get what I wanted without having to suffer the legal consequences of my actions.

And I planned to go through with the plan.

Until I talked to Pamela.

“Don’t,” I said when I saw Pamela walking near me. Ayoko siyang makausap. Ayoko siyang makita. Even looking at her reminded me of how she fucking played me like a fool. Pinagkatiwalaan ko siya, tapos ganito lang ang gagawin niya?!

“I understand that you’re mad.”

I gritted my teeth. “Mad? That’s an understatement of what I feel,” I snapped. “All along, you knew everything! You could’ve just told me that there’s Corinne! I could’ve just asked her to testify!”

Disappointment flooded her face. And I hated it. I hated seeing it. “It’s not my story to tell, Mallary… And it’s not yours, either.”

Umawang ang labi ko. “Molly is dead. My sister is dead.”

“I know… but you can’t force Corinne to testify just because you want. Don’t you think I didn’t try that? Don’t you think I would’ve gone as far as tracking you kung alam ko na may pag-asa na lumabas si Corinne?”

“Alam mo na walang pag-asa na managot si Blake sa lahat ng ginawa niya kung hindi lalabas si Corinne! You know that she’s the end to this all!”

“But that’s beside the point, Mallary! My point is, you can’t force Corinne to testify if she doesn’t want to! She was raped, violated, and left to die! You can’t blame her if she’s scared! Stop blaming the victim, Mallary.”

Napa-tigil siya.

Napa-tigil ako.

We both knew that we’re fucked.

We were both denying it… but it’s the truth.

We both played this game while fully knowing where this would head. Because it’s the truth—you make justice. And you can only make justice if you’re with power…

I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I felt like I was surrounded with liars… and everything I heard were nothing but lies.

It was frightening.

It was frightening how far they’d all go just to protect themselves.

Pamela looked at me. I couldn’t trust her. Not anymore.

“How did you meet Nathan?” I asked her.

“What did he tell you?”

“I asked you first,” I said. Nathan told me his version of the story… but how could I ever believe him after all the lies that surrounded me? I was wary of everything.

I trusted nothing.

“Nathan… I met Nathan more than a year ago. I was having a bad day, so I decided to stay in this secluded area. I just needed to clear my head. Pero nang madaling araw na, naka-rinig ako ng pagdating ng sasakyan.”

She paused.

“What happened next?” I demanded.

I could see the hesitation in her eyes. Did Nathan lie to me? Sabi niya… sabi niya iniwan niya lang si Corinne. He told me he’s not a murderer.

“What did he—”

“I asked you first!”

She was taken aback. She was surprised by my anger. Hindi ko na makilala ang sarili ko. Galit ako sa kanilang lahat. Galit ako dahil pinaglalaruan nila lahat. Dahil lang kaya niya.

“He… He dumped Corinne. Then… then he was trying to dig a hole,” she said, then looked at me. “I think… I think he was gonna bury her alive… kung hindi ako nagpakita.”

That liar.

I blame myself for believing him even just for a second. He was just using me again. He was using me to get back to Blake. He knew he couldn’t get to him without me.

In the end, he only cared about himself.

In the end, he’s still the same spineless asshole I first met.

“Yeah,” I replied. “If I wanted the entire problem gone, I need to nip it in the bud.” David just shook his head in disappointment, but what could his disappointment do? It’s already done.

And besides, finally, the law is in my side.

---

The next day, I accompanied David to his cross-examination. I was confident because he would just tell the truth—na kasal kami. I knew Nathan’s family would urge him to file a case of bigamy against me, but I didn’t care. It was my father’s problem. If he still wanted me as his heir, he’d find a way to make that case disappear.

Habang naghihintay akong matapos ang deposition ni David, nagsimulang magkaroon ng ingay. Agad na na-alerto ang mga tauhan na nagbabantay sa akin.

I stood up, trying to find out what was happening… when I learned that the Honorable Oscar Valderrama was here…

Akalain mo nga naman? Nailibing na ba ’yung demonyo niyang anak?

“I’m fine,” I said when the guards tried to stop me as I took a step towards the original devil. He didn’t look so good. He looked stressed, even. Ibang-iba sa nung huli ko siyang nakausap.

“Justice…” I said, smiling at him. “What brings you here?”

I could see his chest heaving in anger.

“Ah… Nandito ka ba para magfollow up sa kaso ng anak mo?” pagpapatuloy ko.

His jaw was clenched.

I wanted more reaction from him.

Gusto kong maramdaman niya ang pinaramdam niya sa akin nang ipamukha niya kung gaano ako ka-walang laban. Dahil nasa panig niya ang batas.

I’d fucking feed him every bit of frustration that he made me go through!

“You killed my son!” sigaw niya.

Nagbulungan ang mga tao sa paligid.

Nagsimulang mag-ingay ang mga reporter.

“Nathan killed him,” I said. I stared right into his eyes—his eyes that were blazing in rage. “As far as I am concerned, Blake was killed by Nathan. And I was not the one who caused the fatal blow,” I said, mimicking the infuriating statement that he told me before.

“You killed Blake!” he repeated like a grieving father that he was.

I sighed. “As I have said, there is no evidence to point to that conclusion, Justice. It’s hard to make accusations without facts to back them up.”

His chest.

It was heaving with much anger.

The tables have turned.

“You—”

But I cut him off. I smiled as I leaned in to whisper, “Dura lex sed lex, Oscar Valderrama…” I began. “The law may be harsh, but it is the law.”

In the end, no one will know what I did to them. In the end, I got my own brand of justice. In the end, it all worked out. 

For Molly.

NOWK Book (Popfic and Self-pub)

No One Will Know will have two versions–the popfic version and the selfpub version. The popfic version will be available in all bookstores nationwide, while the self-pub version is available via Eydee GDL on fb.

What’s the difference?

No One Will Know (popfic version) will contain the toned down version of the story + the full affidavit.

No One Will Know (selfpub version) will contain the original chapters + full affidavit +  10 chapters that will tackle the aftermath of the story. The additional chapters will NOT be a love story. Just want to throw it out in the open hehe NOWK is NOT A LOVE STORY.

Thank you x