Prologue

S. 4th

Reese looks at the looming building before him, heart pounding inside his chest and stomach churning with incessant nerves that make his palms sweaty. He swallows with difficulty, still finding it hard to take a deep breath and calm down. He closes his eyes and counts to 10, wondering if he’s really willing to start all over again.

Memories of the past year resurface and cross through his mind like a raging storm. It leaves nothing behind except the feelings of hurt, hate, confusion, and deep-rooted sadness bordering depression. He’s left drained and tired of those haunting memories. He wants nothing more than to let those memories be just that… memories, buried long ago and in the past.

However, those memories, those scars, are what hold him back now. They’re grabbing a hold of his shirt and pulling him back.

He takes a deep breath.

He breaks through that hardship first and cautiously peeks through the glass doors with heart still stuck in his throat.

He’s greeted by the sight of rushing students hurrying to class chattering away and complaining about one teacher or the other.

For a moment he wonders if it’ll be the same here or worse than before. He wonders if they’ll ridicule him if they knew the truth.

He shakes his head from the “what if’s” and steels his nerves.  He doesn’t need to say anything. He doesn’t owe anyone anything.  He can live life here however he wants. No one ever has to know.

So, he gathers his remaining courage and gets over the second hurdle, walking into the school.

---

M. 25, 2022 A/N: because many cannot be bothered to check the tags and just to give a heads up, this story involves a trans character who identifies as a man hence mpreg (a man becoming pregnant, whatever you’re definition of a man is I am not interested, this is my take). If you do not like, please do not read or leave rude comments just keep on browsing.

Chapter One

S.

18th

Reese stares out the window, thoughts spiralling and drifting away like the fluffy clouds that seem so inviting the more he stares at them.  He’s tired.  He wants nothing more than to lay his head on his arms and sleep until this exhaustion melts away.  He wants to sleep and forget he exists, forget this is real.

He thought moving and changing schools would solve everything.  But honestly, a few weeks later, he doesn’t know whether it’s even made a difference.

He still receives unwanted attention.  He still gets picked on.  He’s been intentionally tripped and ridiculed for many things (primarily his height and piercings).  He hears wisps of rumors and speculations of his past, nosy students wondering who he is and where he’s from.  Wondering about his shady past. 

He snorts. 

He could never be involved with anything shady.

“Is something funny Mr. Reese?”

Reese looks up wide eyed, wincing when he catches sight of his expectant teacher who has a brow quirked in question.  Fellow students quickly turn around and face him just as curiously.  It makes his cheeks tint red in embarrassment.

“No-No,” he coughs, voice cracking and breaking like a pre-pubescent boy.

It only serves to further ignite the heat under his skin, making him flustered and palms sweaty.

He quickly utters a quick apology before downcasting his eyes back to his notebook scribbled with randomly spaced notes and terribly drawn doodles on the margins.

The teacher lets it go after a few beats of silence before she returns to droning on about Macbeth .

Reese can’t help but breathe a small sigh of relief under his breath. 

That was close, too close for comfort.

He hates being the center of attention.

He hates when people stare at him, when they try to gauge him out and pretend they know him.  He hates when they see him as an easy target for being quiet and minding his own business. He hates their assumptions.  Hates their speculation.

His skin crawls when they’re eyes linger on him for too long, when they taunt him and shove him for being weak.

It makes his self-esteem crash into the cold pits of hell.  It makes him feel less of who he is because he can’t fight back.  At least they’re just words.  Words that cut into his heart and jam themselves in his mind, but words nonetheless.

It could be worse.

He knows.

He’s been there.

He’s been beaten and broken countless of times before.

At least these scars won’t leave a physical mark.

He shudders at the cruel memories.

He’ll take the laughter from the football team and the snickers from the cheerleaders any time.

Rather sluggishly, he reaches for his pen and drowns out the voice of his English Lit teacher.  He already read Macbeth anyway, so he quietly draws a never-ending whirl next to a meadow of flowers.  Right underneath he writes a little note of encouragement.  If only to get him through the day.  If only to stop this ache.

Chapter Two

S.

21st

Reese looks up in surprise when one of the popular jocks casually takes a seat beside him. The desk next to his is usually left empty. No one ever seems to take the proffered seat, not after having established cliques long before he showed up. But it gives him a sense of privacy, a sense of peace that he gets to be by himself next to the window. It gives him the chance to escape and doze off when the lecture becomes unbearable.

But today is different.

Today he feels trapped.

The desks, though separated to create a small pathway between rows, still feel too close together. Still makes Reese feel crowded, pressed against the radiator with no way to escape. He feels shy and uncomfortable, hoping he can continue being invisible even when there’s someone beside him.

He flinches when he hears Anderson, a football player, yell across the room, “Payton!”

Payton simply throws them a cheeky smile, giving the beehive group a light nonchalant shake of his head. Anderson shrugs, turning back to wooing the head of the cheerleaders.

Reese, however, pretends he didn’t see the exchange. His shoulders are slumped as he glares at the blank page of his notebook. His hand is clammy, sweaty and cold, as he grabs his pen. His grip is weak and his hand trembles as he writes the date at the top a bit wobbly.

He’s self conscious.

He wonders if he’s breathing too loud. He even stops breathing for a split second as his body tenses until it hurts. He doesn’t dare move, barely blinks.

It’s only when the class fills and the teacher finally begins that Reese begins to calm down. He finally breathes, letting the sound of their math instructor wash over him and drown his anxiety. He relaxes bit by bit, losing himself to his thoughts as he jots down a few notes and useless formulas.

He doesn’t know why, but he sneaks a peek at the captain of the football team.

Payton.

He’s surprised to see the older teen fast asleep, head of curls resting over crossed arms which are toned from practice. Dark lashes are curved against tanned cheeks as he breathes deeply and evenly. Reese can’t help but trace every detail with his eyes, frowning when he catches sight of dark circles from sleepless nights. He’s almost tempted to reach out, to brush back a loose curl and feel the warm skin that seems to glow with the sun’s rays.

It’s not the first time his eyes have strayed to the captain of the football team. Payton has never hurt him. Not physically. He has never pushed him, has never tripped or mocked him.

And still Reese doesn’t stop the anger that wells inside his chest. He turns back to the board with a small angry pout, brows furrowed and chest aching because Payton has never hurt him physically nor with his words, but he has never stopped his tormentors either. Payton had always been the bystander, simply watching with an expression of boredom as his so-called friends made fun of the weaker students.

He rolls his eyes and sighs a small huff, trying hard to ignore his rapid heartbeat and heated cheeks.

It isn’t until the bell finally rings that he catches a sleepy rough voice say, “You look cute when you’re angry.”

Reese’s eyes widen, his breath hitching as he witnesses Payton pack his belongings and leave with his posse as if he didn’t just make Reese’s heart skip a beat.

Chapter Three

S.

24th

He stuffs his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched just so.  He looks up at the sky, clouds grey and heavy a few scattered droplets landing on his face but the concrete absolutely drenched.

He quickly tugs on his hoodie, hiding away from the cool autumn breeze that caresses his warm face, making his nose slightly runny and pinking at the tip.

He sniffles, steps deliberately slowing down when the traffic light changes.  Humming softly, he waits until he can cross, shivering despite the thick humidity hanging in the air.

He manages to avoid growing puddles on the rest of his way, resisting the urge to jump in them and make a mess.  He hides an embarrassed blush at the thought.  He’s 17 for heaven’s sake!  He should really stop with the childish thoughts.

He rushes the rest of the way to school, pulling out an ear bud until his song fades and is instead replaced with the sound of his squeaking shoes and chattering students.  The hood of his sweater slips off and reveals messy brown hair and tired doe eyes.

He’s determined to stop at his locket first to shove in some books and take out the others.

But immediately he regrets his decision when he sees a few scattered jocks milling around and joking about.  He ducks his head trying to hide himself in the loose filtering crowd of students.  He’s just about to make it when his eyes grow wide in horror as someone brushes up against him causing his shoes to lose traction.  His first instinct is to close his eyes shut, to reach out for something– anything.

He holds his breath.

Only to feel a warm hand wrap around his arm to steady him.

“Hey,” a familiar voice calls.

Reese’s breath hitches, eyes opening in surprise.

“You should really dry your shoes at the entrance rug before stepping into the halls, it’s slippery as hell but the school doesn’t have enough money for a lawsuit,” Payton says casually, before snorting, “trust me, we’ve tried.”

Reese figures it’s an attempt at a joke.

And for some reason it makes him smile a bit awkwardly.

But before he can even thank the older teen, Payton is gone.  Rejoining his posse as if nothing happened.

Still, his smile grows wide and he hides it as he pops open his locker.  Feeling a warmth brush against him as Payton passes by, walking leisurely behind his group of friends.  Reese looks up, heart fluttering without his consent when he finds Payton subtly glancing back.

And he has to remind himself who Payton really is.

Chapter Four

S.

25th

“Why are you always quiet?”

Reese jumps in surprise at the voice suddenly beside him.  He looks up at Payton with wide eyes, mind filled with confusion as the jock takes a seat next to him.  Payton, however, isn’t looking at him.  The jock is too busy pulling out his binder and pen, but his words are clearly directed at Reese.

“What?” The younger croaks weakly.

And it’s only then that Payton looks at him, his own eyes reflecting surprise, “You speak?”

Reese’s cheeks color a rosy hue at that and his eyes fall on his desk as he tries to shrink in on himself.

Payton seems to recover from his mild shock as he coughs to clear his throat and begins rambling, “Sorry, it’s just… you never talk.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard you… You have a nice voice.”

Feeling slightly overwhelmed, Reese manages a small nod, “thank you.”

“Is anyone sitting here?”

Reese stares at Payton.

It’s only courtesy, Reese supposes, considering Payton already set up.

So, Reese says the only thing that comes to mind, “Just you.”

Payton stares at his belongings for a moment, realizing belatedly how stupid he must seem, “Right, sorry just kind of out of it… a bit tired.”

“It’s.. okay,” Reese assures, “it’s fine.”

“Name’s Payton,” the jock introduces awkwardly then, hoping to keep the conversation going.

Reese hides the fact that he already knows.  He’s known since the first week he began attending NPHS.   Everyone knows who Payton is. 

“I-I’m Reese,” he finally says.

“Reese, nice name.”

“Likewise,” the younger mumbles shyly.

“So.. Do you mind if I sit next to you?”

Reese shakes his head, vaguely gesturing in a way that reads ‘go ahead’.

And before Payton can say anything, their teacher strides in.  The man is tall, skin dark and smooth, face marred with laugh lines and slightly balding.  He looks good for his age, but his eyes are those of someone who doesn’t take nonsense.  He’s a great teacher and tutor, but strict to no end.

“Good morning class-”

And thus lecture begins.

But Payton can’t concentrate.

He can’t even fall asleep and take a nap.

He’s solely focused on Reese, the younger boy looking just as bored and randomly scribbling in his notebook.  He looks a bit tired, an occasional yawn escaping him here or there.

And his eyes, light as honey, are slightly dull.

Payton swallows thickly and bites his bottom lip.

He’s curious, so damn curious about the boy.  Still, he feels guilty.  He shouldn’t have agreed to this stupid dare.  He knows he’ll only end up hurting Reese.  But he can’t help his curiosity.  He’s almost desperate to know more about him, just like the rest of the school.

So what if he lost?

So what if his dare is to make Reese open up?

He knows he would’ve approached Reese regardless.

Sooner or later, Reese would’ve been his.

Chapter Five

S. 27th

His head is down, brow furrowed, and pink tongue poking out in concentration. His hand is cramping, his bright eyes occasionally glancing up at the white board before he starts scribbling notes in his scrawny handwriting as quickly as he can. However, just before the bell rings, the teacher stops and he can’t help but feel relief. His hand aches with tension from writing for nearly 40 minutes.

“Alright class, about your upcoming project-”

The class groans in unison.

But Reese is holding onto every word until she decides that she wants the projects done in partners. Partners that she’ll choose.

The class is in utter outrage, begging to be able to pick who to work with. But Ms. Brayn is stubborn and immovable. She gives her class a small grin as she begins calling the names of who will work with who.

Reese discreetly rolls his eyes when he hears students bemoaning their bad luck when they’re not partnered with him. Everyone is suddenly interested in him, knowing he gets high marks despite his lack of studying. He almost feels smug, but he knows that if they had it their way, he would be doing all the work and that pisses him off even more.

He hopes and prays he gets stuck with someone willing to put some effort. He’s tempted to take that F if it means he won’t be forced in doing all the work.

But his heart stops and his breath hitches when he finally hears his name.

“Reese Rivera and Payton Parker.”

He looks up and finds Payton staring at him from across the room, a few cheerleaders complaining that they’ve lost their chance at spending time with the captain of the football team.

But to him, they’re background noise.

All Reese can hear is the pounding of his heart, blood rushing to his head and making his cheeks burn red.

Payton has been… kind (of sorts). He’s been occasionally sitting next to him and invading his personal bubble of space. The jock jokes around in hopes of making him smile. Payton has become… his light, as cheesy as it may sound.

Reese no longer feels alone. He no longer dreads walking to school, not when he knows that he’ll bump into Payton sooner or later. And slowly, bit by bit, Payton has wiggled into his routine. It scares Reese, of just how easy it was for the jock to worm his way into his life

Payton grins at him then, and Reese ducks his head, eyes returning to his notes as he begins thinking of their project. It’ll be due in three weeks, they have time to choose a topic and plan. They have to…

Payton smiles to himself.

They’ll have time to get to know each other.

Chapter Six

O.

8th

He feels cold as his back stiffens.  His hands clench into fists on top of his lap as his nails bite into his clammy palms.  His body trembles with rage, gritting his teeth until his jaw hurts.  

Soon, tears sting his eyes, tears he blinks away so as not to show weakness.

“I’m truly sorry,” the man before him says, his voice full of sympathy but his face one of hypocrisy.

“I don’t understand why ,” Reese stresses.

“Because you are not a boy,” the man sighs, holding back a roll of his eyes.

“Yes.  I.  Am.”

“From what I see, no you are not.”

Reese makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat, face flushing a bright red.

But the man isn’t done, “Your birth certificate clearly states otherwise, and thus, you are not allowed to change in the boy’s locker room for P.E.  Honestly, I have half a mind to prevent you from using the boy’s facilities.  But as it is, that is of no issue yet.”

“You can’t do that though!” Reese shouts, voice growing high.

“Sorry, Mr. Rivera, but do calm down unless you want detention for disrespecting the vice principal.”

Reese swallows past the lump in his throat.  He can’t.  He can’t breathe.  He’s so angry, so frustrated that he can’t stop the tears from spilling.

He stands up abruptly, keeping his head down as he reaches for his bag before darting out of the office without another word.  The door closes harsher than it should, a resounding bang following behind him.  But he doesn’t care.  He’s angry.  He’s hurting.  

It’s not f*cking fair!

He rushes down the empty hall until he reaches a bathroom.  He pushes open the door and rushes to a stall where he begins to throw up.  He feels pissed and angry and repulsed, hating that his sex defines his identity.

He flushes the bile down the toilet and presses his back against the bowl, hunching forward and sobbing.  He grips his short hair, shuddering for breath and muffling his cries before someone passing by hears his pathetic whimpers.

“It’s not fair,” he croaks weakly, throat burning, “It’s not fair .”

Chapter Seven

O.

9th

Payton follows Reese to lunch a few days later, grabbing a hold of a thin arm just before they can enter the cafeteria. He leads the younger boy toward an empty classroom, but Reese doesn’t say anything, doesn’t really struggle. He simply lets the older teen drag him around until it’s just them.

“Reese,” the jock begins.

Reese doesn’t react, his shoulders hunched and eyes dull… sad.

“Reese, what’s wrong?”

Payton will never admit it aloud, but he’s worried.

He’s personally known Reese for a month, they’ve spent a week brainstorming for their project together in the library. He’s gotten used to seeing sides of Reese he’d never thought he’d see. But the Reese that gets embarrassed easily, that blushes shyly, and smiles at a simple look his way… is gone.

The Reese standing before him is a shell.

He doesn’t talk anymore, simply giving Payton monosyllabic answers.

And Payton hates that.

The boy doesn’t even change in the locker room with the others. He always manages to hide away. Payton swears he’s seen him sneaking into the boy’s bathroom, head down as if in shame.

“Look at me,” he orders, voice soft but demanding.

Reese looks up, but he’s not seeing Payton. He can’t meet the jock’s eye.

“Reese, what’s wrong?” Payton repeats firmly.

Reese shrugs, brushing past Payton and taking a seat in an empty desk. He doesn’t want to talk. He doesn’t want to tell Payton anything, he doesn’t want to tell him what he really is. It terrifies him, to think that Payton will view him differently. It scares him that Payton will find him disgusting and push him away.

There’s only so much he can handle after what happened a few days ago.

Payton glares at the floor. His jaw ticking with frustration when he can’t get through Reese. He turns to face the younger boy and finds wide eyes staring at him.

“You’re the only friend I have,” Reese whispers, tears welling in his eyes.

Payton’s heart surges with panic at the broken sight. He kneels down in front of Reese and cups his cheek.

“Talk to me Reese,” Payton begs helplessly, watching as the first tear rolls down.

Reese slumps against the desk top, hiding his face in embarrassment as he cries. He’s been feeling so dysphoric lately. He hates this but he can’t deal with it any other way.

“Reese…”

“I’m okay,” Reese mumbles, voice muffled against his arm.

“No, you’re not,” Payton states.

“I will be.”

Payton opens his mouth to retort when Reese finally looks up, wiping away the salty tracks on his chubby cheeks, “I’ll be okay, thanks to you.”

The jock’s heart clenches tight in his chest at those words.

“Thank you, Payton, for these past few weeks. Thank you for being my friend when you didn’t have to,” he whispers.

Payton stands, “A lot of people would love to be your friend. You’re so kind and helpful, smart and absolutely… amazing.”

But despite the compliments, Reese shakes his head, “All people would ever want is to use me for one thing or another. But you… you’ve tried to make me laugh, you’ve gone out of your way regardless of how closed off I am. I wish… I wish I could trust you completely, but right now I need time alone.”

“You can trust me, but if you don’t want to talk, that’s fine too. However, right now you don’t need to be alone and you won’t. You’re stuck with me.”

Reese rolls his eyes, a small smile twitching on his lips, “thank you.”

“Whatever is bothering you, just tell me and I’ll figure out a way to make things okay again.”

Chapter Eight

O. 12th

Reese breathes softly, eyes droopy as his brush glides across the canvas of dull sad colors. Blues and purples swirling together with dark clouds of black and grey joining in. The paint moving on it’s own, spreading and taking form into something breathtaking. Splotches of white are flickered off a thicker brush and land onto the nonsensical painting in just the right place.

He hums softly, momentarily pausing and closing his eyes. He let’s his imagination take him away for just a moment. He can see it, the overpowering blues fading into harsher tones of purple until it’s darker yet. The sky captured onto paper. Stars glistening impossibly bright. Clouds blown away by imaginary winds.

He breathes deeply, eyes opening as he continues to paint, allowing himself to get lost in the music and the colors. He’s so immersed in his work, in just being , that he doesn’t hear his name being called.

A tap on the shoulder startles him and he looks up, finding his name on Payton’s lips, “Reese?”

“Hi,” Reese whispers, slipping off an earbud.

“Hey,” Payton greets just as softly, “Why are we whispering?”

Reese cocks his head to the side, realizing that Payton has never experienced something so stress relieving, something so close to magic.

He shrugs, finding the words too hard to explain, “no reason.”

Payton nods, dragging a stool next to Reese’s. He plops down and his eyes are briefly drawn to the painting. It’s… something. He’s never been much for fine arts, but it’s rather beautiful. He’s seen thousands of galaxies in different medias and still, for some inexplicable reason, the one before him beats any other.

“It’s beautiful,” he admires.

“Thanks,” Reese hums, shutting off his music and placing the brush in the dirty water.

“Sorry if I interrupted you,” the jock apologizes.

“It’s fine.”

They sit in silence for a few seconds before Payton turns to face Reese. A small laugh on his lips as he reaches out to swipe at some blue paint on Reese’s cheek.

Reese looks into Payton’s warm eyes, gaze tender and kind.

His cheeks heat up and he forces himself to look away, coughing a small, “Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Payton says, voice tight with his own embarrassment.

He doesn’t know why he did that.

All he knows is that he could get lost in Reese’s eyes.

Reese grabs a clean paper towel and passes it over his cheek to get rid of any residue.

“So,” Payton begins, “about our project.”

“It’s almost done, right?”

“Yeah, I just finished proof reading over both our parts and added any extra resources we used just in case,” Payton nods.

“Awesome,” Reese smiles, “We can send it in almost an entire week before it’s due.”

“Yeah…”

They lapse into an uncomfortable silence again.

After their touching talk a few days ago, they’ve become more distant. It’s almost like when they first met, when they first began getting to know each other. The silence filled with awkwardness that is comforting in an odd sort of way.

“Are you scared?” Payton blurts out suddenly.

Reese raises a brow.

“About presenting?” He continues.

The younger teen bites his lip before breathing deeply and deciding to be honest, “Yes, actually. I’m not… I’ve never been good with public speaking or presentations.”

“Me neither,” Payton says.

“Liar,” Reese retorts easily, a small smile on his lips, “you lead a team, I mean, you’re the captain. You give speeches all the time.”

“Yeah… guess you’re right, but if I’m honest, sometimes it’s hard.”

“Oh,” Reese frowns, he reaches out to touch Payton’s hand on his thigh, at the last moment stopping himself, “I can’t control the volume of my voice. Sometimes I speak so low that no one can hear me or I feel like I speak too loud it’s deafening. My hands get cold and I can’t stand still.”

“I… My voice wavers a bit and sometimes it even cracks,” Payton blushes, “it’s a problem.”

“I’m a problem,” Reese huffs with a small laugh.

Payton looks at him with wide eyes before he snorts a laugh of his own, “You’re anything but a problem, and if you were, I guess you’d be my problem.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Reese asks, wondering if he should be offended.

“You’d be mine to figure out, like a rubix cube. I’d refuse anyone else to touch you, because you’d be mine and only mine.”

“Oh,” Reese breathes.

Payton clears his throat a bit making Reese snap out of his trans and look at his lap.

“I’ll catch you again tomorrow?” Payton wonders, his voice returning to a gentler and softer tone.

“Yes,” Reese nods, “tomorrow.”

Payton smiles, quickly squashing the urge to lean in, to brush away the loose curls of chocolate dyed hair that frames Reese’s chubby face.

Reese waits until Payton is gone before turning on his music and slipping on his earbuds. He looks at his painting and he can just see his reflection in the wet paint.

Chapter Nine

O.

15th

Reese stands a bit awkwardly to the side, flinching when the soccer ball is kicked fiercely across the gym and bounces with a thunderous thud against the metal bleachers.  Someone reaches out to kick it back in a pathetic attempt of a soccer game. He, however, tries to keep toward the back of the gym and away from the physical activity.

On the other side of the gym, in the opposing team, he spots Payton. The older teen is grinning at him, smiling eyes filled with mirth. Reese can’t help but smile back, if only a shy twitch of his lips.

But even Payton knows something is wrong.

Reese looks pale, an unhealthy pallidness to his round face.  He’s biting his lip, breath hitching and legs squeezed tightly together.  But as soon as he does, the ball is kicked into play once more.  The force used on the ball is astounding when it’s kicked again, but the strength behind the punt isn’t enough to guide the ball toward its intended target.  Instead it veers off in the air and it shouldn’t have hit Reese.

But it does.

Reese loses his breath upon impact as it lands against his abdomen, the pain is stinging but what knocks him down is the sudden way his stomach cramps.

“Reese!” Payton yells.

He hears rather than sees everyone circle toward him, but he’s too focused on breathing through the sharp pain.  Somewhere in the background, Payton is scolding the jock who kicked the ball for being so careless and stupid. 

But his scolding abruptly stops, choosing to punish the jock on the field instead.

Right now, he needs get to Reese and within moments he’s kneeling before him, helping him up slowly.

“Are you okay?” He asks softly.

Reese is about to nod, the pain a bit more manageable now, when a girl screams.

Payton and Reese look down, only to discover a trickle of blood rolling down Reese’s inner thigh.  Reese’s breath hitches in his throat and Payton turns pale.

“Shit,” the jock curses, anger quickly overpowering his shock again.

Forget about increasing the number of laps the stupid idiot who hurt Reese would’ve had to run on the football field, he’s about to pummel the crap out of him right now.

“Mr. Payton,” their teacher intervenes hastily, “before starting a fight with your teammate, please lead Mr. Reese to the nurses office immediately.”

Reese has tears welling up in his terrified eyes and Payton can barely breathe from the heartbroken sight before him. 

Still, he takes a deep breath and nods. 

He needs to pull himself together, for Reese.

“Hey,” he coos, voice cracking with his nerves, “it’s okay, come on, we’ll go to the nurses office and see what she says, see what’s broken.”

Reese grasps the front of his shirt, twisting the fabric in his hands.

He already knows what it is.

But he’s too embarrassed to say it.

It’s too horrifying to think of.

“Com’on,” Payton coaxes gently.

Reese squeezes his thighs together, before letting Payton wrap his arm around his waist to guide him out of the gym.

“Payton,” he whimpers nearly half way to their destination.

“It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay,” Payton comforts.

Reese nods, needing to trust him, to believe him just this once.

■●■●■

Upon arriving at the nurse’s office, the nurse takes one quick look at him and carefully guides him to one of the little cots  in the corner of the room.

“What happened?” She asks.

Payton explains quickly, nearly begging her to help Reese.

But the nurse knows Reese’s case.

So, with a stern voice, she asks Payton to leave, “Why don’t you wait outside, Mr. Parker.”

Payton looks at Reese, pale and trembling, a refusal at the tip of his tongue.

“Go,” Reese begs, “Please, I’ll be okay.”

The jock is reluctant.  He can’t bring himself to move, not until a soft hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes reassuringly.  It’s only then that he concedes with one last look at Reese’s begging face, cheeks stained with tears.

In the end, Payton is left pacing outside the nurses office with his heart in his throat constricting painfully tight as he remembers Reese and the… the blood .

Chapter Ten

O.

15th

Payton is sent back to the gym where he grabs Reese’s bag to take it back to the nurses office.  He sneaks inside and heads to the little clinical bed in the corner of the room where Reese is curled up, glaring daggers into thin air.  He’s almost nervous to approach the younger teen, but he does so anyway.

He takes a seat beside Reese’s legs and looks at the teen expectantly, “Are you okay?”

Reese finally looks at him, eyes red rimmed and glistening with sadness and frustration, “Yeah.”

“Really?” Payton asks skeptically.

“Yes, just… achy.”

“What did she say?”

Reese opens his mouth, but he stops himself from saying something stupid, something like the truth, “Says I’m fine.”

Payton’s look of disbelief only amplifies.

“I’ll live,” Reese adds just to appease the jock.

“But the blood-”

“Was nothing serious,” the younger interrupts, voice growing cold.

Payton doesn’t know what else to do, to say.  He looks almost helpless around the room and Reese finally takes pity on him, “I’m okay, Payton, really.”

The jock nods uncertainly.

“Payton,” Reese sighs, struggling to sit up.

Payton quickly helps him up, faces inches apart and breaths mingling together. 

Payton doesn’t know what possesses him to do what he does.  He leans in just so and brushes his lips lightly against Reese’s.  The kiss is brief, short and sweet.  And Payton quickly realizes he likes the feel of Reese’s plush lips on his.

But Reese looks scared, terrified and he pulls away first.

Payton is confused.

He’s confused by his own feelings and his own thoughts and the butterflies riling up in his stomach.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he whispers a bit strained.

Reese nods, cheeks aflame and lips tingling, “Thank you, for worrying about me.”

Payton wants to reach out and touch him, push away the loose hair falling in front of his eyes and brush his lips against Reese’s once more time.

But he doesn’t.

He knows he crossed the line.

He’s not even gay so why would Reese… why would Reese make him feel like this?

“You’re welcome,” he says at last.

Reese nods before turning to look at the wall behind Payton, “Maybe you should go.”

The jock is close to protesting but he agrees soon enough, he needs to clear his head, needs to get away, “maybe I should.”

He gets up and makes his way toward the door, heart aching when he hears Reese shuffling about on the cot.

He doesn’t look back, doesn’t think he can walk out if he does.

He needs to breathe, to gather his thoughts before he can face Reese again.

For now he needs to forget the incident, make sure it doesn’t happen again.

He needs to walk away.

●■●■●

Reese looks after Payton’s retreating form.

Heart hammering inside his chest.

He closes his eyes and breathes.

His fingertips trace the curvature of his lips, the phantom feeling of Payton’s lips still there.

Chapter Eleven

O.

16th

His shoulders are slumped, body hunched and belly still cramping as he walks to class the following day.

From the moment he stepped inside the school, eyes followed him every where. Students whisper behind his back, so loud even he can hear.

“ Look

it’s

that gir l,“ a cheerleader snickers.

Reese’s cheeks heat up as he takes a seat at the back by the window.

“ I hear she

pretended

to be a guy so she could spy on them, pervert.“

He feels tears well up in his eyes, trying and failing to suck it up. They’re just rumors. And still it hurts because they’re not true.

He hears laughter approaching the classroom and among the voices, he picks out Payton’s.

His heart hammers inside his chest as he waits for the jock. And when he finally spots him, it’s like the air is knocked out of his lungs.

Payton is by the entrance, eyes automatically finding his. But the jock doesn’t make his way to his usual seat, right beside him.

No. A cheerleader grabs Payton’s arm and yanks him toward an empty seat beside her. The jock doesn’t complain, doesn’t stop her.

And Reese can feel his heart break.

Does he believe the rumors too?

He rests his head on his desk and closes his eyes. Memories of the day before cruelly resurface, the touch of Payton’s lips on his, the feeling of being loved, all crashes into the forefront of his mind.

“Did you know, Payton,” the captain of the cheerleaders begins, “that that girl over there pretends to be a guy so she can sneak into the boy’s bathroom and locker room to spy on you. Isn’t s

he a pervert?“

Reese’s face pinches into a grimace and he can’t bear to hear his reply.

He stands from his seat and rushes out the room, nearly knocking into his teacher on the way out. He doesn’t stop though. He runs until he finds the bathroom (thankfully empty).

Inside the last stall with his back pressed to the door, he cries. His sobs are small and shuddering, almost breathless. Yet the tears are incessant as they roll down his cheeks.

He feels disgusting and just not right. He’s struggling with himself, trying to accept who he is without people bringing him down and smudging his name.

He’s not a girl.

There’s nothing wrong with being a girl, he knows.

But he’s not one.

He’s a boy.

It’s who he is, how he feels.

“Did you hear?”

Reese tenses.

“About the little slut trying to catch a peek of us while we piss and change?”

And that’s Anderson’s voice.

A small pained whimper escapes him before he can stop it.

“Oh? Looks like we find her.”

No, no, no he begs.

The door is rattled until the cheap lock gives in.

“There you are!”

The posse usually accompanying Anderson laugh.

“You think you can just continue being a disgusting pervert, you sick slut?”

The front of his hoodie is grabbed in fistfulls and twisted until Reese can feel the jock’s breath on his skin.

“You really thought wrong .”

Reese flinches and stumbles back as Anderson is ripped away from him.

Payton is panting, face red in anger, “leave him alone.”

“Didn’t you hear what they’re saying about this–”

“I heard perfectly well what stupid people are spreading. But they weren’t there when I took him to the nurse. He nearly broke something important, if you can catch my drift. So shove those fucking stupid words down your throat and leave him alone. He’s been through enough stupidity from our team so as not to be accused of those shitty names. Now go tell your little girlfriends how wrong they are spreading lies about people they don’t even know. And I swear, I hear one more insult directed toward him and I’ll make you run twice the number of laps for practice.”

The small posse scrambles out of the bathroom without a word.

All except Anderson who spits out one last threat, “I won’t forget this, Pay ton.”

“Neither will I, Anderson.”

Anderson leaves with one last nasty glance toward them before the door closes and Reese can breathe again.

“Are you okay?” Payton asks.

Reese nods, still a bit mute in fear.

Payton reaches out and it’s like last time. He flinches and cowers away from the touch. The kind jock stops, noticing how tense Reese is– how his eyes are screwed shut in fear.

And Payton realizes he’s been here before.

“I’m sorry they hurt you,” he whispers softly.

Reese slowly, but surely, uncurls from himself and looks up at Payton.

“You don’t believe them?” He asks, voice small and trembling.

“No,” Payton answers, “I don’t believe in rumors spun out of jealousy and malice… Are you okay?”

Reese nods, “yes, thank you.”

Payton smiles, hand resting at the back of his neck awkwardly. He doesn’t know what to do, not after their kiss. He doesn’t know if they’re okay. If that kiss ruined everything.

But he doesn’t need to do anything, he simply needs to be himself.

Reese hugs him tightly, heart light as he realizes he can trust Payton.

Payton returns the warm hug, wraps his arms around the younger boy and holds him tight.

He looks down as Reese whispers a muffled, “Thank you, Payton,” into his shirt.

Chapter Twelve

O. 19th

With their projects behind them now, Payton gets nervous and jittery.  They still spend time together, their oh-so-wonderful teacher having assigned yet another project for the end of the school year about words and descriptions.

But the thing is, he already knows Reese and he wants to spend time as more than just English partners.

He just doesn’t know what to do or how to say what he wants to say. He sucks it up though and just goes for it on Friday during study hall.

“Do you want to come to the football game and you know… sleep over my place afterwards?”

Reese hums, “Yeah sure.”

“Tonight?”

He doesn’t think Reese knows what he’s agreed to because the younger boy stares at him with wide eyes after he’s processed what the jock just asked, “wait what?”

“Do you want to come over and you know… stay the night?”

Reese looks like a fish out of water before snapping his mouth shut.

This time around it’s a bit more shaky and reluctant but he still agrees nonetheless, “sure just lemme ask my mum.”

“Really?” Payton asks in slight disbelief.

“I… Uh yeah,” he smiles shyly.

“Are you sure, I mean the guys were being really stupid and mean ,” the jock mumbles.

“I’ll be cheering for you, not them,” Reese says, cheeks heating up.

Payton grins at that, his smile bright with a small dimple showing as his eyes light up.

Reese hides his face in the jock’s chest when Payton pulls him closer, “Thank you.”

“I can’t believe I just said that,” Reese mumbles in utter embarrassment.

“I think it was cute,” Payton shrugs, “and encouraging. I’ll do my fucking best to win for sure.”

“It’s not just you playing,” Reese snorts softly.

“Might as well be,” the jock grins cockily, “I got this.”

“Just in case you lose, I’ll be there to pick up the pieces,” Reese snickers.

“With pizza and soda?”

“Yeah, with pizza and soda.”

●■●■●

Reese stands in the crowd watching enraptured as the game starts. His eyes never leaving number 62.

He isn’t much of a football fan or a fan of sports. He only knows that whenever the Canucks score, he cheers. His smile is wide as he watches Payton play and he can just picture how sweaty the jock is underneath that uniform.

He stops his inappropriate thoughts, shouting when the game finally ends and the Canucks win. The crowd goes wild, the colorful white and maroon side celebrating while the white and red groan in disappointment.

He’s on his toes eagerly waiting to see Payton as the players shake hands. Payton takes off his helmet, revealing curly hair sweat slick and sticking to his forehead. He’s talking to a few of his team members, smiling proudly as they high-five. He looks gorgeous like that, happy and content and proud.

His chest is puffed out and their eyes lock from across the field.

Payton waves at him and he waves back, rushing down the stairs of the bleachers. He sprints toward the locker room where the football team is heading to change and waits outside.

It takes a while, maybe half an hour before he finally sees Payton again.

“Congratulations!” Reese yells giddily as soon as he sees the captain.

Payton catches the younger boy easily, his bag falling to the tiled floor as he hold onto Reese’s lithe body, “Thank you.”

“You were amazing,” the younger continues, gushing about how awesome that was.

“I never pegged you for a sports person,” Payton chuckles.

“I’m not,” Reese admits, “but you were mind-boggling.”

Payton laughs, pushing back his wet curls from his face revealing his brilliant coffee brown eyes. He picks up his back and grabs a hold of Reese’s hand.

They giggle as they walk to Payton’s, talking about the game and parts Reese didn’t understand. It’s easy and light to just talk to one another about anything and everything.

When they finally arrive, the older teen pulls out his keys and swipes a card at the entrance before going to the 4th floor. His keys clink together, opening the door and stepping aside to let Reese in.

Reese stares amazed at the place. The apartment is big and spotless, really breathtaking and not at all like his home.

“You can out your stuff down anywhere,” Payton says, demonstrating by tossing his own gym bag over the couch.

“Where are your parents?” Reese asks, noticing their absence.

Payton shrugs, “Working. I rarely see them to be honest. I think we see each other maybe once a week and only for ‘family time’ which is a bunch of bullshit if I do say so myself.”

Reese frowns.

Payton notices, “But it’s alright, I prefer my space and they’re always busy so it works out perfectly.”

“Don’t you get lonely?” The boy asks with a tilt of his head.

“Sometimes,” the jock shrugs, “come on, you wanna order or do you want to make something?”

The question effectively distracts Reese.

“You can cook?”

“There’s a lot I can do,” Payton winks.

“I uh… order pizza maybe?” Reese stammers.

They order a large pizza and fill their glasses with cherry flavored Pepsi. They polish their plates until they’re full and satisfied while they watch a silly horror movie completely unrealistic on the couch turned bed.

At the end, Reese excuses himself and sneaks to the bathroom to change from his jeans and tee to his comfy pjs. He slips on some sweats and stares at his reflection. His eyes land on his chest, fingers tracing the edge of the binder. He debates on taking it off. But he’s still scared, still doesn’t have the courage to tell Payton the truth.

It’s beginning to hurt and he can’t really breathe properly. It’s uncomfortable and tight, but he just can’t take it off. Biting his lip, he grabs his clean shirt and slips it on. He can sleep with his binder on right? Just for one night?

He steps out the bathroom and joins Payton on the couch-bed-thingy.

He can’t get comfortable and he stares into space for a while, both playing 21 questions until eventually, he manages to doze off.

Payton reaches for a blanket and covers Reese, keeping the younger teen warm even as he wraps his arm around his waist.

Chapter Thirteen

O.

20

th

Payton’s brows furrow when he hears small whines of pain and discomfort, the warm weight in his arms shifting restlessly. His eyes flutter open and it takes him a minute to remember what woke him up. He looks around slightly disoriented before his gaze falls on Reese, the younger teen frowning and whimpering in his sleep.

He sits up slowly, carefully dislodging his arm from around the boy’s body and grimacing when he feels it numb and tingling. But that little noise of pain and discomfort makes him forget his own dilemma.

He faces Reese and places his hand on the boy’s chest to shake him awake when he feels something underneath his fingers.

“The hell?” He rasps tiredly.

The minimal pressure added there makes Reese shudder in clear pain. Payton frowns, the black tee riding up as Reese writhes and squirms to get a comfortable position, revealing pale flesh and–

“Reese!”

The poor boy jerks awake.

He looks lost and confused as he sits up, heart hammering inside his chest in alarm.

“How can you be so reckless?” Payton asks just a bit angrily.

Reese looks at the jock with his head tilted to the side, still half asleep and not following along.

“Take it off,” he orders.

This seems to pull him into alertness as his voice grows high and panicked, “take what off?”

Payton’s eyes narrow, nodding his head to Reese’s chest, “don’t play dumb, take it off now. You can do serious damage if you sleep with it on. What were you even thinking? Do you know how fucking dangerous that is?”

Tears well up in the boy’s honey eyes and instantly Payton feels bad for being so harsh. He cups Reese’s chubby cheek and wipes away a salty tear as he coos, “hey, don’t cry, come on take your shirt off, I’ll help you take the binder off.”

Reluctantly, Reese does as told, sniffling and whimpering as deft fingers help unclasp his binder.

He’ll never admit how good it feels to be free, to take a deep breath as his bruised chest expands to its full capacity. He covers his breasts with his arms in shame and Payton gently rests the blanket over his shoulders before helping put his shirt back on.

He doesn’t know how this works, but he knows there’s a grimace of discomfort on Reese’s face being bare.

“Turn around,” the jock orders, but softer and calmer.

Reese slowly faces away from the jock, hissing when callous fingers run over his tender sides and upper back underneath his tee.

“You might get some bruising but I think it should be fine for now,” Payton mumbles.

“You’re not mad? Or… or disgusted?” The younger boy asks, voice quivering in fear and almost glad he can’t see Payton’s reaction.

“Why would I be disgusted?” Payton questions, “or mad?”

Reese shrugs, sniffling pathetically.

A heavy sigh escapes Payton’s lips and he taps the boy so he can face him once more.

Reese uses the blanket to cover himself up, even if his shirt is already on, the blanket is like a safety net.

“Look, maybe we both need to confess a few things,” Payton admits, before starting, “I was dared to get close to you and to find out everything about you, all your dirty little secrets and whatnot to publicly shame you, I guess.”

Panic runs through Reese’s hair at the admission and he tries to get up from the bed and run.

But Payton’s strong hold keeps him put, “You have to understand that what started as a joke to lead you on and expose you and all that, was never going to come to fruition.”

The younger’s heart is racing too fast, blood is rushing to his head and he can’t hear because he feels so betrayed. Payton was using him to make fun of him and humiliate him and–

“I fell in love with you,” the jock whispers, voice low and breaking with his embarrassment.

“What?”

“The plan was to do the dare and hurt you but I fell so fucking hard for you that I could never do that to you. It’s fucked up and stupid and childish. Those jackasses need to stop using people’s pain and humiliation as entertainment. I’ve tried everything these past few weeks to make them stop because hell, I never even thought I’d be gay but I met you and I couldn’t be happier because you’re just amazing and I… I’m crushing on you, like really bad.”

Reese’s cheeks turn a beautiful rosy hue that drives Payton mad with how adorable he is. And his voice is soft and quiet as he asks, “and you’re okay with me being… you know…”

Payton raises a brow as Reese’s voice goes even softer than before, barely a whisper as he murmers, “trans.”

“Does it look like I care? I only care that you stop hurting yourself like this, you should’ve told me.”

“I know,” Reese mumbles ashamed, “I was just scared, terrified that you’d hate me and find me disgusting and a freak and just so… so repulsive. You were my only friend it was so terrifying to think I’d lose you.”

“Hey, take it easy, take a deep breath,” Payton instructs, “I don’t hate you, it’s literally impossible for me to hate you when I’m so far gone for you.”

Reese takes a shuddering breath as he says, “I… I like you too… love you even.”

Payton smiles sheepishly, “really?”

A small nod and a bright blush are his only answer.

He wraps his arms around the little blanket burrito that’s Reese and hugs him tightly, but not enough to hurt his aching torso.

“You okay?”

Reese nods, finding it hard to say the words with the lump in his throat caused purely by relief.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Payton hushes gently.

“I’m just so… so relieved. “

“Promise me you’ll never do that again, though. Promise you’ll never wear your binder for longer than intended.”

Reese fishes out his hand and sticks out his pinky, “I promise.”

“Good,” Payton breathes in relief, taking the proffered pinky in his before pressing a kiss to Reese’s forehead.

•••

If Reese falls asleep half naked and curled up against Payton, no one can blame him. The jock’s chest is too comfortable to not use as his personal pillow, his warmth more than enough to battle the Autumn cold.

And if Payton presses a kiss to the top of his boyfriend’s head, that’s alright too.

Chapter Fourteen

N.

2nd

They’re in the back of the library for study hall, both working on their calculus homework as they hold hands underneath the table. On more than one occasion does Payton sneak a glance of his boyfriend. Reese is doing that thing where he has the tip of his tongue sticking out as he furrows his brow in concentration, scribbling on the margins of his paper.

It’s been about half a month since they began dating, since they became “official”. And although they keep it to themselves, like nothing has changed, everything is different. Payton finds himself more attuned to Reese, always aware of the younger’s presence. They’ve even gone out on silly little dates. They’ve eaten ice cream despite the chilling weather, they’ve gone to the movies, and even the park to play on the swings like children as they watch the falling leaves.

Just watching Reese reminds Payton of the day before, how the younger had a mess of leaves sticking out of his wind-blown hair. The image engraved in his mind and saved as his home screen.

“What is it?” Reese asks timidly.

“Huh?”

“You’re staring,” he points out.

“Oh… oh !” Payton blushes, “sorry I just… your so… I can’t concentrate.”

Reese blushes softly at the jumbled explanation with a small smile on his plump lips, “here.”

Payton takes the paper and looks over at the calculations, trying hard to focus as he reviews the answers, checking all of them to make sure they’re right.

“You’re coming tonight, right?” He asks after a minute.

“What’s tonight?” Reese asks innocently.

The pen Payton was holding to correct the worksheet falls from his grasps and the look on his face can only be described as one of a dejected man.

Reese snorts, “I’m kidding!”

Payton pouts, “You’re so mean.”

“I’d never forget to cheer you on against SPHS,” Reese assures.

But the pout doesn’t leave the jock.

Reese smiles with a roll of his eyes and presses a kiss to his cheek, “Do your homework so we can have the rest of the day off.”

However, Payton shakes his head and refuses to continue, not until Reese gives him a shy kiss on the lips.

“Better?” He mumbles timidly.

“Mm, much,” the jock agrees, giving the boy his papers back and stealing one last kiss before he can protest.

●■●■●

Just before the game, Payton is changing in the boy’s locker room when he gets cornered by Anderson and his posse. He doesn’t pay them any mind and simply grabs his helmet after tying his shoes. But Anderson doesn’t let him through. Not yet.

“So, you figure out the little fagot’s secret? Like why he moved here and shit?”

“No,” Payton grits impatiently, “now get out my way.”

“What the fuck man? This isn’t the first time you fuck with someone,” the jock huffs, “What gives?”

“What gives is that I’m done doing this bullshit. Stop bothering Reese, stop messing with him and stop bullying him,” Payton demands.

“Or else what?” Anderson’s back-up questions.

“Or else I’ll make sure you regret ever hurting him again.”

Payton slams his locker hard, the sound echoing through the room and capturing everyone’s attention. He walls past Anderson, making sure his shoulder collides with the stupid airhead of a bully.

But this only seems to anger him more, “You’re not the boss of us Parker! We’ll do whatever the fuck we want and that brat is going down, we’ll expose her for the tranny she is.”

Payton wants to stop, to turn around and punch the asshole in the face and break his nose. But he doesn’t. He takes a deep breath and continues out onto the field. Like hell is he going to let a jackass ruin his night, let him hurt his boyfriend again.

Out on the field, tension runs high and everyone is on their toes as the game starts off.

He searches for Reese in the crowds and finds the boy with a wide smile, looking tiny in Payton’s too-big hoodie. He takes his strength from the smaller boy, from his pillar.

And for two and a half hours, he doesn’t let Anderson and his goons touch the ball.

They lose.

But Payton already knew that was the outcome, especially when a few of his teammates caught onto what he was up to.

Needless to say, Anderson was pissed.

“What the FUCK Parker!” He rages, stomping in front of Payton and poking his finger into the captain’s chest.

Payton brings himself to his full height, eyes narrowing into dangerous slits, “This is a warning. I don’t need to fight you to ruin everything you’ve built for yourself. So, take my words to heart, next time you even say Reese’s name, I’ll fucking end your football career and you can say goodbye to ever getting a scholarship for whatever stupid college decides to accept you. Ever hurt him and I’ll break your face, got that you dickhead?”

He marches off leaving Anderson fuming.

He doesn’t care though, and he ignores him as he shakes hands with the opposing team’s captain, a forced smile on his face throughout the exchange.

All he wants is to be with Reese, to hold him close and never let him go.

Reese, who waits for him impatiently at the entrance of the boy’s locker room. His Reese.

“Hey,” the younger greets, voice small and cautious.

Payton grabs his bag without bothering to shower or even change. He’s still mad, still pissed at everything they’ve said and done to Reese. He’s angry that he didn’t put a stop to it sooner.

“Are you okay?” His angel asks softly.

Payton comes to his senses and shakes his head, frowning as he wraps his arms around Reese without so much as a word. He buries his face in the boy’s neck and takes a deep breath, willing himself to calm down.

Reese hugs him back, holds him close, “I’m sorry you lost.”

Payton snorts, “I’m not.”

“Hm, really? Why?”

“’Cause I’m still a winner.”

“How so?” Reese asks.

“I still got you.”

Chapter Fifteen

N. 2nd

After the horrible football game, they’re in Payton’s bed sharing languid kisses that slowly become more passionate and filled with hunger and need.  They’re panting harshly, breaths mingling together, and hands exploring each other’s bodies.  It’s all too much and still not enough.

There’s a niggling doubt in the back of Reese’s mind, still nervous but wanting more, n

eeding more.

He moans, arching into the jock’s touch and whimpering when deft fingers help relieve the pressure of his binder.

And there’s that doubt again.

That fear whispering in his ear.

Payton leans down and trails kisses down his jaw and toward his neck, biting and bruising the pale flesh.  He cups one of Reese’s small breast, kneading it and toying with the small bud of his nipple until it’s erect.  It’s a sensation the younger can’t quite describe.  It’s odd and sexual and he’s almost sensitive to the touch, but it feels so good he can’t help the whimper that falls from his swollen lips.

But all too soon, Payton stops.  The jock pulls his hands away and looks into Reese’s honeyed eyes, pupils blown wide in arousal.

“Do you want to?” He asks nervously.

Reese’s breath hitches, “what?”

“Do you want to… you know… have sex?”

The younger boy bites his lip, the tips of his ears turning red, “I’ve never… I don’t even…”

“It’s okay,” Payton assures, “I’ll be gentle and I’ll stop if you want me to.  Hell, we don’t even have to if you don’t want to.”

“I do,” Reese whispers embarrassed, “I want to.”

He closes his legs tightly, his sex aching with need and want, but for so long he’s denied that part of himself and he’s terrified.

“I’m just scared,” he admits softly, “I’ve… played with myself before, but every time… afterwards I’ve always felt wrong… Like I shouldn’t have.”

“Your sex doesn’t and shouldn’t define who you are, you are you and I love you for that,” Payton assures vehemently.

“I know… But it’s weird… being aroused and feeling dysphoria towards parts of your body.  I just… I don’t want to feel like that, and I’m scared I will because I love you and I don’t want to ruin this.”

“I love you too, baby boy,” Payton says, “and I’ll do everything I can to make you feel good, so good that all you’ll can think about is my name.  You’re gorgeous and so fucking handsome and I need you to know that.  I need you to know that it’s okay to feel how you feel and that you won’t ruin anything.  I want your comfort and above all else, I want you to be sure.”

Reese closes his eyes and breathes, clearing his mind for a brief moment, “okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” he nods, giving his consent.

They undress.

And they’re a little awkward and shy, but those hands are back on his body and Reese melts.

He turns into absolute putty.

Payton carefully lays him on the bed, reaching for some lube from the bedside table. He uses the lube to slick up his fingers and part the glistening folds that hide Reese’s very core.

Reese covers his face in slight mortification, grimacing at the odd feeling of two fingers inside of him as he parts his thighs for the older teen.

Payton is slow and patient though.  He pumps his fingers and scissors them until he stretches the younger boy enough to add a third.  And Reese can’t help but wriggle about, nearly choking on air when Payton’s thumb rubs his rosy clit.

“Fuck,” he gasps.

A throaty chuckle rumbles from Payton’s chest, “like that?”

Reese nods, squeezing around the thick fingers inside his slick pussy greedily.  It’s too much.

“Payton,” he cries.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’ve got you.”

He slicks his erection and fumbles a bit as he aligns himself with the boy’s aching little hole begging to be stuffed.

And sliding into the tight heat that’s Reese is like a punch to the stomach, all air rushes out of him as he finally slips inside inch by torturous inch. 

Blunt nails rake across his back as he crushes wide hips in his bruising hold.

Fuck .

He’s panting breathlessly against Reese’s shoulder, trying hard to compose himself as he sits fully sheathed inside Reese.

It’s overwhelming and hot and absolutely amazing.

He looks at Reese’s flushed face, bright eyes screwed shut.  He smooths away the frown and kisses the boy’s forehead, beads of sweats covering their bodies.

“Move,” Reese orders huskily, “please.”

Payton obeys, pulling out slowly before setting a rhythm that works for them.

It’s soft and slow and fuck… just-

“I love you,” Payton whispers.

A tear escapes Reese’s beautiful eyes as he croaks a weak, “I love you too.”

Payton pistons his hips, thrusting hard and fast until the bed creaks.

He suckles on a nipple while he plays with the other, giving both his attention.  He leaves hickies and bites on the soft tissue of Reese’s breasts, the boy sobbing at the feel.

“So good, so beautiful and gorgeous and fucking handsome,” Payton grunts.

“More,” Reese begs, “harder.”

And it’s almost like he can’t breathe.  The stimulation is too much, Payton’s heavy weight atop of him, his fingers teasing his sensitive clit, warm lips on his skin, cock buried deep inside–

Reese’s body tenses.

His orgasm takes him by surprise as he tightens around the thick length fucking into him.

“Payton,” he mewls, “Payton, please.”

He doesn’t know what he’s begging for.

Simply knows that his body is wracked with pleasure, thighs trembling in overstimulation.

Payton tries to focus, chasing his own orgasm and pulling out his weeping cock at the brink of it only to spill atop of Reese’s quivering belly.

They’re breathless and just a bit exhausted.

He can’t help but nuzzle the boy’s neck, kissing a particularly bad bite mark he might have left. He feels content and completely satisfied, loving how weak Reese is, how out of it the boy seems to be as he comes down from his high.

“Are you okay?” He manages to ask.

Reese nods, eyes half lidded with exhaustion as he mumbles a sleepy, “was good.”

Payton chortles, “yeah, it was.”

“Thank you,” Reese smiles doopily.

“Nothing to thank me for, baby boy,” Payton grins.

He falls onto the bed beside Reese and pulls the boy closer.  They’re sticky and gross but they bask in the afterglow of their orgasm, their flushed bodies pressed together.

Reese rests his head on the jock’s chest, falling asleep to the feel of fingers gently rubbing his lower back and the swell of his ass. 

His sex slightly tingles and he knows he’ll still feel Payton when he wakes up.

And he’s okay with that.

Chapter Sixteen

D. 8th

Reese hadn’t thought anything was wrong with him at first.

After having hormone replacement and starting T, his period became irregular until it simply stopped.

But before starting senior year, he realized his body began acting up again and his period returned, sometimes just spotting but it meant one thing. His body was becoming used to the hormones and the T he was prescribed just wasn’t enough to suppress that part of himself anymore. They’ve become sporadic but a constant reminder of what he is even if he hasn’t stopped taking T.

He had decided to finish the little tubes of gel before asking to ump up the dosage.

Except, now he can’t.

His heart is racing inside his chest, constricting tightly as he fights back the threatening nausea. His hands tremble as he picks up the little pink box of tests from the shelf.

He only has 10$ in his pocket, but it should be enough.

He’s a ball of stress as he uses his allowance to pay for it, avoiding the look the cashier sends his way.

“That’ll be $9.62,” says the checkout boy.

Reese hands him the crumpled bill, his clammy hands taking the little bag that barely hides the bright pink.

“Your change is $0.38.”

Reese takes the coins, nearly dropping them with how high-strung he feels.

It’s even worse when the cashier gives him a sympathetic, “good luck, man.”

•••

At home, he’s too much of a mess to even open the box neatly. Two tests fall out and he stares at them with his heart in his throat. He reads and rereads the instructions torn in two when he realizes he needs to calm down.

Nothing’s certain yet.

It could be a fluke.

He could be coming down with something, maybe the flu? Maybe the plague?

He swears he misses when he pees on the sticks, but caps them nonetheless and puts his timer on.

Two minutes have never felt longer in his life.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

His parents are so gonna kill him.

Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck .

When the timer goes off, he chokes on air.

He can’t control his shaking hands as he picks up the first test. He holds his breath and flips it over.

And his heart nearly stops.

He compares the results with the instructions on the box.

Two little pink lines.

Two little pink lines .

A shuddering breath escapes his lips.

P

ositive .

He feels like crying, like he can’t think (his mind going numb).

He doesn’t even need to see the second one to know what it says.

He takes a heavy seat on the tiled floor of the bathroom and brings his knees to his chest, arms wrapping around them as he curls into himself.

How?

Scratch that, he knows the how but he thought… he couldn’t…

He needs to tell Payton, but he can’t move.

He’s scared of how the older boy will react and tears well up in his eyes.

He can’t sit with this heavy weight upon him, inside him.

He dials his boyfriend’s number through blurry vision, hiccuping slightly when it rings.

“ Hello? “ Comes the answering click.

“Payton?” He whimpers.

“ Reese? W h at’s

wrong? Why are you crying? Reese? “

“Ca-Can I come over?” Reese asks, voice breaking pathetically.

“ Yes, of course, “ Payton agrees immediately.

And as soon as the door opens Reese jumps into Payton’s unsuspecting arms and buries his flushed face in the jock’s chest. Payton wraps his arms around Reese protectively, guiding the smaller teen inside and toward the couch.

They don’t talk at first, mostly because Reese can’t find the words to say what he needs to say.

He can’t bring himself to actually say it out loud.

Payton doesn’t mind and let’s his baby boy take all the time in the world as he rubs the younger’s back until his small sobs become shuddering breaths.

He’s worried about his boyfriend, never thinking he’d see him so distraught. But he doesn’t want to probe. He wants Reese to come around on his own terms.

Still, nothing manages to prepare him for the words the younger says, “I think I’m pregnant…”

He stares wide eyed at the smaller boy who digs through his pocket and takes out two pregnancy tests.

Two positive tests.

“Holy shit,” Payton curses for lack of a better response, taking the tests in his calloused hands.

The weight of them is heavy yet light and he looks them over thinking a litany of curses.

He returns his shocked gaze towards Reese and whispers an apology, “I’m so sorry, Reese, I should’ve worn a fucking condom, I thought… fuck I should’ve listened to our sex ed teacher and… fuck I’m sorry.”

Reese sniffles, shaking his head as he grabs Payton’s trembling hand in his, “don’t- don’t apologize, Payt, we were both a bit at fault. I thought it was okay too, I didn’t think I could get pregnant while taking T and having such an irregular cycle…”

Payton gets himself together when it looks like his baby boy is about to start bawling again.

He cups Reese’s warm cheek and presses a kiss to his head, “we gotta make an appointment with your doctor to… to make sure, but I think you gotta stop T for now.”

“What about… what if I really am? Do-Do you want to have the baby?”

Payton scrubs his face tiredly, “we’ll do whatever you wanna do.”

“But you’re the dad too,” Reese objects.

“But it’s your body, Reese. It’s your body that’s going to be flooded with hormones, your body which will accommodate our baby. Everything you’ve tried to suppress until thus far will come crashing into you like a broken dam. It should be your choice whether you want to keep the baby and go through this pregnancy or.. you know.”

He can’t even say it for fuck’s sake.

But he knows that what he wants means nothing compared to what Reese wants. It’s his baby boy going through pregnancy, battling and struggling with himself as he’s filled with new and foreign hormones.

Reese bites his lip and hugs his middle a bit protectively, “I don’t think I could do it. I don’t think I could go through an abor-abortion .”

“Okay, then we’ll call your doctor and your therapist to make an appointment,” Payton says, his tensed muscles relaxing at the boy’s words.

But then Reese says something that makes him stiff again, “Our parents are gonna kill us.”

“We gotta tell them sooner or later,” Payton mumbles.

“I can’t tell my parents,” Reese whimpers, “I can’t.”

“I know sweatheart, but there’s only so much we can hide from them and I’m sure that at some point they’ll notice an adorable baby that looks like us appear out of no where. They’ll ask questions and they’ll figure it out… unless you want to put them up for adoption.”

The look Reese gives him is one of horror as he shakes his head immediately, “No, this is our baby… I couldn’t do that either… I… even if we’re too young… Payton, no.”

“Good,” Payton sighs in relief, “we’re on the same page, then.”

He opens his arms and let’s Reese crawl into his embrace. He holds him tightly and closes his eye, breathing deeply.

“I’m kind of scared,” his precious boy confesses after a few minutes.

“So am I,” Payton admits, “but we’ll figure things out as we go. I promise.”

Chapter Seventeen

D.

11th

They manage to squeeze into an appointment slot on Tuesday right after school.

They’re nervous and jittery and they don’t talk much.

Reese even jumps when his name is finally called.

He goes through the routine physical.  His height, weight, and temperature are taken in a span of five minutes.  They then ask him to fill a small bottle with urine and he can’t sit still once everything is done and over with.

Payton gives him a reassuring smile and they hold hands only to break apart when they hear a soft knock on the door.

The pediatrics doctor is a petite bubbly woman with her red hair held back from her round face by a rubber band.

“Hello Mr. Reese River,” she greets, giving him a handshake, “and who is joining us today?”

“Payton Parker,” the jock introduces himself, “his boyfriend.”

“Alright boys, its nice to meet you,” she smiles, taking a seat in front of them, “So, what brings you here today?”

Noticing that Reese is still too nervous to actually talk, Payton takes it upon himself to simply blurt it out, “we think he’s pregnant!”

“Oh,” Dr. Abell gasps, “Alright okay.  Want to tell me why you think this?”

With heated cheeks, Reese finally speaks up, “we had unprotected sex.”

“I pulled out,” Payton offers, trying and failing to keep the mortification at bay.

“And I haven’t been feeling well.  I thought I was coming down with something, like the flu.  But the nausea is persistent and it attacks when I smell certain foods and strong smells and I haven’t had a fever.”

“The pull out method isn’t always successful which is why it’s recommended to pair it up with another form of contraception,” she explains before directing her attention to Reese, “Has there been anything else you’ve experienced?  Dizzy spells? Vomiting?  Bloating?”

“I got dizzy a few days ago when I got up too fast… I kind of refused to eat because everything made me sick,” Reese mumbles.

“Did you throw up?”

The boy wrinkles his nose, “yeah.”

She scribbles everything down on Reese’s medical chart, muttering to herself, “suffering from vertigo, nausea accompanied with vomiting…”

Reese wriggles in his chair, tapping his foot.

“And you’re sure it can’t be food poisoning?  You haven’t eaten any raw fish or meats?  Or improperly canned foods?”

“No… at least I don’t think it’s food poisoning.  It’s kind of been a week and then some.”

“Alright, sweetheart,” she hums, “no sign of botulism.  So, what about your menstrual cycle?”

Reese’s cheeks heat up, “I think I missed it.”

“And you’re on the gel form of testosterone, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Are you still on it?”

“No,” Reese answers honestly, “I stopped when we thought I might be pregnant.”

“That’s good, we don’t know the adverse effects that could happen if you continued taking testosterone, so it was very smart of you boys to stop at once.”

“I uh… I took two pregnancy tests at home,” Reese adds shyly, “they both came back positive.”

“I really don’t want to alarm you, but some tests are very accurate in detecting pregnancy hormones and the fact that it found traces of it in your system while on testosterone is a big indicator.  However, some tests are not so good and it could have been a fluke.  But don’t worry, by the end of this visit I’m sure we’ll know for sure if your expecting or not.”

They both nod, sharing a small look of anticipation.

“Now, boys, I know you’re both still young so I need you to know that you have options.  Especially you, Reese,” she begins, “your situation isn’t the first but it is unique.  It can and will be an uncomfortable ride if you decide to go through with the pregnancy, that is, if you are pregnant.”

“We.. uh talked about it,” Payton says, “We discussed what we would do if he actually is pregnant and even though it’s not even certain, we’ve come to an agreement that we want to keep the baby.”

Dr. Abell gives them a small smile, “I won’t lie, it’s going to be a bumpy ride and some times your going to want to throw in the towel.  But despite the aches and pain of pregnancy, the end result is so worth it.  You both seem quite mature for your age and I can tell you’re decided.  Honestly, it’s a rare sight to see a couple like you, so determined and strong.  It’s truly amazing.”

They both blush at the praise, they still feel like little kids, but they are determined.  They want this baby, their baby.

A knock interrupts them and an MA in colorful scrubs steps in and hands the doctor a few papers before leaving.

“Well that was certainly fast,” the doctor laughs, “Alright boys, ready for the verdict?”

Reese grasps Payton’s hand and they both hold their breath as they wait.

“I think you’re going to be wonderful parents,” Dr. Abell says, “so I suppose congratulations are in order, boys.  Seems like you’re pregnant.”

Reese lets go of the breath he was holding.  Everything feels so surreal.

“I’m sure I can sneak you into the OB GYN so you can get an ultrasound and get the necessary bloodwork done,” she says.

“That’s be… that’d be great actually,” Payton breathes.

They follow the doctor across the small clinic to double doors labeled OB GYN.  They don’t know how, but they’re sure Dr. Abell pulls some strings because they’re in a little room in no time.

They go through all the questions from before until finally they can get started.

The doctor, an older man in his late 60s, tells Reese to pull up his shirt and unbutton his jeans.

The machine whirs to life and cold icy gel is squirted onto his belly making him flinch.  Payton grabs his clammy hand, both getting strength from the other.

The transducer probe is pressed against Reese’s skin and they watch enraptured as the doctor shows them the screen.

Tears well up in Reese’s eyes at the small grainy image.

“Is that…? That’s our baby?” Payton chokes out.

“Yes,” the doctor smiles, always happy to see the awestruck gazes on new-time parents.

“The baby seems to be growing accordingly.  From the date of conception you’ve given, I’d say you’re in between weeks five and six.  The baby is almost the size of a sweet pea.”

“A sweet pea,” Reese breathes.

“Yes, now I’ll print a few copies of this because I’m sure you want some and then we’ll get some bloodwork done.  I would definitely like to see you in a week or two.  From there, we can discuss how to proceed with the prgnancy, what vitamins you can take and what to worry about.  Remember that the first three months are crucial for the fetal survival rate.  Each day closer to the second trimester is another day the baby develops and grows stronger.”

They walk out of the clinic in a daze, ultrasound pictures gripped tightly in their hands as they stare at the little blob, at their little sweet pea.

Chapter Eighteen

D.

11th

Payton looks at the ultrasound picture in his hand and he traces the little figure adoringly.

He knows there’s a time and place for telling his parents, but frankly he just wants to get  it out of the way.  He doesn’t really think his parents deserve the courtesy to have a sit down with him after being absent for most of his life anyway.

So, he calls his parents respectively and drops the bombshell as if he were discussing the weather the second they pick up.

He gets yelled at for being irresponsible and they each promise they’re going to have a family meeting. 

He snorts, how funny that now they’re interested in his life.

However, true to their word they get out of work for once and meet later that night.

Dinner is… dinner.  It’s tense and quiet, the only sound is the clinking of forks scratching against their plate as they eat spaghetti (which he made, for himself).

“How could you be so stupid?” His father finally bellows, caving into his anger.

“It was a happy accident,” Payton shrugs nonchalantly, not at all fazed by the old man’s rage.

“Payton,” his mother bemoans, brows pinched in stress, “You should have known better!”

“I should shouldn’t I have, right?  Except my parents weren’t always there and from what I remember we never even had ‘The Talk’.  My curiosity and my shitty sex ed class were enough to guide me through my teens, so don’t come to me trying to say that I should’ve known better.  Nothing excuses our lack of protection and childish stupidity, but at least we’re owning up to our responsibility.”

His parents both look rightfully reprimanded and he almost feels satisfied.

He’s angry and hurt that they think they can say shit like that to him.  They have no fucking right after choosing work over him.

With a small huff his mother drops her fork and pushes her food away, “You’re right.  We weren’t always there and I’m sorry, Payton, really.  I wish things could’ve been differently.”

“I think at some point I did too, but not anymore.”

If things were different he might not have met Reese, and from all of this, he and their baby are the only good he has.

“So,” his father grumbles, “Who is she?”

“He, actually,” Payton corrects, shoving some food in his mouth.

“He?”

A nod.

“Since when are you gay?!” His father growls, face turning red.

“Bisexual if anything,” Payton adds after swallowing, “You can be pissed all you want but nothing is going to change the past.  We’re keeping the baby by the way.  Right now, my priority is my child and my boyfriend.”

They’re not too happy.  They might even be slightly furious and frustrated.  But neither will admit how proud they are of their son for stepping up despite the odds. 

So, they do what they do best.

“We’re not going to disown you, because for one, that’s barbaric and two, you’re our son .  This apartment is your home and will always be your home.  You can do as you please here and we’ll continue paying rent, but we will not pay for your baby’s expenses.  I think it’s time you learn how to take care of yourself and the family you’re choosing to have.  This means, you need to get a job to provide for your boyfriend and your baby,” his father grumbles.

“While balancing school work,” his mother adds, “I want you to finish school, both of you should, and I want you to go to college after graduation even if it’s community college to start off your degree in business.”

He nods, “okay.”

And that’s that.

They don’t say anything else.

But when he catches his mother staring at the ultrasound picture he taped up on the fridge, he swears he sees a small smile.

Chapter Nineteen

D. 19th

Reese manages to hide his pregnancy the best he can even when the nausea threatens to send him rushing toward the bathroom every morning.

After fighting against the horrible feeling, he drags his weary body to school and spends time with Payton in the library before needing to focus in class.

He tries to eat food during lunch and just in general to stay healthy, but it’s hard when almost everything makes him want to throw up. The school lunch doesn’t do him any favors either. And not to mention the sense of dizziness that accompanies him everywhere he goes, making itself known when he stands up too quickly.

But no matter what he does, he knows sooner or later his parents are going to find out, especially when he starts showing.

Unfortunately, they find out sooner than he anticipated and not on his terms.

He gets home from a particular rough day at school, hating that it’s only Wednesday and still has two more days before winter break.

The house is oddly quite, bit he chalks it up to his parents being out, maybe grocery shopping.

Except, they’re not.

He finds them in his room, both silent and turning to look at him as soon as he opens the door.

He stops in his tracks, the smile on his rosy face turning into a small frown.

“Is something wrong?” He asks in a small voice.

“I don’t know,” his father begins, “why don’t you tell us?”

For a split second Reese is confused until his eyes land on the pregnancy test he hid at the bottom of his drawer along with the ultrasound picture of his baby.

“Do you mind explaining what the fuck this is?” His father demands.

He stares panicked as the man stands from his seat on the bed and glowers at him.

“I-I-” Reese can’t move, can’t speak, he’s petrified.

“You tell us you’re transgender and we pay for everything, all your fucking medicine and bullshit only for you to repay us with your fucking stupidity? Aren’t you supposed to be a guy now? How the fuck did you let this happen?”

Tears fill Reese’s eyes as he chokes out a broken, “I’m sorry. It was an accident, but I didn’t do it on purpose!”

“You think you’re so special saying you’re a boy when in reality you’re a liar and an attention seeker who likes to spread their legs. You’re truly just a big disappointment and an embarrassment to this family. You better get rid of that mistake as soon as possible before everyone knows what you really are.”

Reese whimpers, hating how weak he sounds when he says, “No. I won’t. This is my baby and I won’t just get rid of them because you say so. You don’t have the right to make that decision for me and I refuse to lose my baby because of your ego.”

“Oh really then? You think you can just go against my word you little brat? Show some respect.”

Reese clenches his hands into fists and stands his ground though.

“Alright, then,” his father concedes, “You won’t do as I say, then grab your shit and go.”

“What?” Reese breathes.

“I don’t ever want to see you again. Not you or your little bastard.”

The words stab his heart, but what kills him inside is watching the man he calls father crumple the picture of his baby and discard it onto the floor before stomping on it.

“You have one hour to pack your bags and get out of my house,” the man scowls.

He looks pleadingly to his mother, but she doesn’t even have the guts to face him.

His father shoves him harshly to the side as he stomps out of the room with his mother silently trailing after him.

And it feels like he can’t breathe.

Reese stares at the ultrasound picture of his baby completely ruined and wrinkled and- and he cries. He picks up the scrunched up ball with trembling hands and tries to smooth over the wrinkles but the image is ruined and it tears his heart.

He sniffles pathetically and with the picture clutched in his hand he manages to pack his meager belongings: only stuffing a few shirts, boxers, and pants before grabbing his school bag.

He’s slow to leave the place he wanted to call home.

He hesitates at the door, hoping maybe they’ve changed their mind.

His father stands before him and there’s a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Hope that’s crushed when the man takes his phone and keys.

“Get. Out.”

When he steps outside it’s snowing. The howling wind wraps around him and makes the tip of his nose numb.

His eyes are red rimmed, cheeks stained with salty tears, and face flushed.

He’s shivering and cold and homeless.

And when he knocks on the door before him, he can’t help but bawl in relief when it’s opened.

Payton is fucking terrified when he sees Reese trembling from the cold with an inch of snow dusting the top of his hair. He looks like a mess. He looks tired and defeated and scared and just… at the brink of falling apart.

He lets him inside immediately and holds him close when he’s within arms reach.

He holds the smaller boy in his arms as he cries inconsolably, all the time clutching something in his hand.

Payton’s heart clenches tightly and he fears the worst.

But he doesn’t ask because Reese can’t speak. He’s sobbing and still shivering even as he holds and bundles him up in a blanket.

Eventually he curls up against Payton’s warmth and cries until he falls asleep, his bags forgetton at the entrance.

Chapter Twenty

D. 19th

“They found out,” Reese whispers tiredly, “and they kicked me out.”

Payton stares at his boyfriend in horror, hands clenching into fists, “what?”

But Reese is tired and the only thing he offers is a small shrug.

“They just… what the…” Payton trails off, not knowing how to express the anger he feels, so instead he focuses on his baby boy, “are you okay?”

Reese doesn’t really know.  He kind of feels hollow and exhausted and achy.  His hand tightens around the ultrasound picture and when he looks down at it, he wants to cry again.

Payton sighs and takes a seat beside Reese, holding the boy in his arms and gently prying the picture out of his hand.

“He-He crumpled it,” Reese whimpers,  “and stepped on it and told me to get rid of our baby.  I said no and he-he kicked me out, said I was a disappointment and an embarrassment and an-an attention seeker who spreads their thighs.”

With each word out of his boyfriends chattering lips he gets angrier and more pissed off. 

“Did you walk here?” Payton asks.

A small sniffle and a nod.

“You should’ve called me, I would’ve-”

“He took my phone and my keys, made sure I had nothing but my clothes.”

“Shit baby,” Payton curses.

And he realizes something that makes him even more furious and sick to the stomach.  They kicked Reese out just days before his birthday, before Reese could even turn 18.  They kicked him out alone and in the cold while fucking pregnant!

Payton stands up and reaches for the front door, intent on finding the man who could be so cruel and heartless to his own son, to his pregnant

son.

A warm hand wraps around his wrist and pulls him back, a small body soon pressed against him.

“Don’t,” Reese mutters, “’s not worth it.”

“You’re worth it,” Payton argues.

In any other situation Reese would’ve smiled at how corny Payton is, but he can’t bring himself to do that.  He hurts all over.

Payton’s hand rests on his belly before kneeling down and pressing a warm kiss to it, nuzzling against it.

Reese runs his hands through Payton’s unruly hair with a small sigh.

“Come on,” the jock whispers, “let’s get some food in you and then you can sleep.  I know you’re tired.”

Reese nods and soon finds himself in the kitchen with Payton who tries to figure out what to cook so as not to upset Reese’s stomach.

“-do you want chicken stir fry or pasta or cereal-”

Reese isn’t paying attention, though.  His eyes are on the little ultrasound picture hung up on the fridge door proudly.  His trembling fingers trace the edges and he nearly flinches when the picture is snatched from in front of him.  He wants to protest and cry, thinking it’ll be destroyed like the last one.  But Payton only takes off the sticky tape and hands the picture to Reese.

“Here, baby boy,” Payton offers.

Reese takes it and doesn’t let go of it, not even when he’s finally eating something.  And when he’s curled up in Payton’s bed (their bed, Payton insists), he places the picture on the bedside table.  Payton tucks him in, making sure the cold can’t touch him before turning off the lights and stepping out the room.

He calls his parents to tell them what happened.  His mother is completely indignant about how Reese was treated at home.  His father doesn’t answer.

He scrubs his face and thinks about what to do.

He knows what to do.

He needs to take care of Reese and their baby.

Chapter Twenty One

D.

20th

Payton doesn’t have the heart to wake him up, but as soon as he gets out of bed Reese is peering at him through tired bleary eyes, the blanket hiding half his chubby face slipping off.

“Good morning, baby,” Payton greets when he feels a tug on his shirt.

“Morning,” Reese mumbles, carefully sitting up.

Reese looks so adorable with hair wild and messy from sleep, cheeks rosy and eyes half lidded. His clothes are rumpled and skewed, shirt riding up just so and it’s almost too distracting for Payton.

He coughs a bit to snap out of it, and rubs the nape of his neck.

Reese doesn’t notice and if he does, he doesn’t say anything (the little tease).

“So,” Payton begins, “do you want to go to school or would you rather stay home?  I know you still feel emotionally and physically drained.”

Reese does that little thing with his tongue when he’s thinking before sighing his answer, “I think I’m gonna go, I don’t wanna stay alone.”

Payton nods, reaching for a clean shirt to change.

Reese tries to get up, ready to slip off of the bed, only to be overwhelmed by the sense of nausea.

He ends up scrambling out from under the covers before rushing toward the bathroom where he just manages to throw up until he dry heaves.

Payton follows right behind him in concern, dropping to his knees and gently rubbing Reese’s lower back as the younger teen leans over the bowl and gags.

When he’s finally done, Reese is left breathless and panting and Payton reaches out to flush the toilet.

“Can you stand?” Payton asks worriedly.

The color is completely gone from Reese’s face, a thin sheen of sweat covers his brow and his body trembles from the effort it just went through.

He struggles to get up, but somehow manages. He uses Payton’s arm for support and after brushing their teeth, they head back to the room where they change for school.

And when all’s said and done, Payton offers Reese breakfast, but the younger teen refuses with a wrinkle of his nose.

“Alright,” Payton chuckles, kissing the top of his head, “are you ready?”

“Yeah, as I’ll ever be.”

A/N: Kind of (really) short, but sweet.

# Chapter Twenty Two

D. 24th

They're finally enjoying winter break and it's Christmas eve, consequently Reese's birthday, when Payton discovers his boyfriend has a sweet tooth.

Reese was incredibly confused when Payton had covered his eyes as soon as he woke up from a nap only to be led toward the living room.

Payton was excited.  He knows Reese has been feeling sad these past few days and he wants nothing more than to celebrate and see his boyfriend happy despite his discouragement.

As soon as Payton steps away, Reese looks around.  Payton had converted the couch to the bed and piled soft blankets and squishy pillows on top.

Reese bites his lip, trying to resist the urge to slip under the blankets and failing.  He crawls on the nest of blankets and pillows and curls up, drawing a small chuckle from Payton.

"You hungry, baby boy?"

The younger nods eagerly and Payton hands him his favorite takeout from the Chinese place down the street.

The jock puts on "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" while they eat and Reese can't help himself from stealing food from Payton's plate despite ordering the exact same thing. Payton is simply too happy to indulge his boyfriend to say anything.

Afterwards, as the movie ends and the credits roll, Payton brings out a single cupcake from the bakery across the street with a lit candle smack in the middle.  Payton sings Happy Birthday a little off key, but it still manages to bring tears to the younger's eyes.

And when it's time to make a wish, Reese squeezes his eyes shut tight and blows until there's a small stream of smoke swirling up.

Payton might have sneakily taken a picture of that moment with his phone, but no one has to know.

He hands the cupcake to Reese and watches the younger boy unwrap it excitedly.  The moment he takes a bite, his eyes flutter closed and he moans in delight.  His cheeks flush a bright rosy hue and he looks genuinely happy.  It's more than Payton could've asked for.

When those honey eyes open and stare up at him, he can't help but lean down and lick at a small dollop of chocolate frosting smeared on the corner of Reese's plump lips.  It draws a happy giggle from the younger boy as arms wraps around him in a warm hug.

"Thank you," Reese says breathlessly happy.

"You're welcome," Payton grins, kissing him soundly, "Happy Christmas and merry birthday, baby boy."

Reese rolls his eyes at that with a small smile before he starts feeling guilty, "I didn't get you anything."

"I don't need anything, just both of you happy is enough for me," Payton assures, his hand resting on Reese's belly.

And after sharing the cupcake, with a promise of more, they begin a make out session that gets very heated very quickly.  Payton lays his mark on Reese's skin, sucking and nibbling at his skin until there are faint bruises left behind.

Reese whimpers and moans as he lays bare before Payton, hungry eyes devouring him as he fucks him slowly and deep.

He cries out his lover's name as he orgasms, sobbing with how intense it is.

Panting, sharing a single breath, they can't help but laugh as they bask in the afterglow.

"Merry Christmas," Reese breathes contently.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart" Payton smiles back with a kiss to Reese's forehead.

# Chapter Twenty Three

J. 7th

"Is that him?" His mother asks.

Payton is more than surprised to see his parents home, but when he sees who they're looking at, he can't help but give a proud little nod, "Yeah."

Reese is curled up on the couch fast asleep, in Payton's jersey with homework scattered around him and an ultrasound picture clutched to his chest.

He no longer wears a binder, the pressure has become too much to bear on his filling breasts these past few days and some of his clothes are even beginning to feel a bit snug around his hips and belly too. 

He always feels tired nowadays, barely staying awake in their classes (which resumed less than a week ago) and the nausea isn't that bad, although some days are worse than others.

And today he's completely exhausted.

Just an hour ago they had their second doctor's appointment and it was more surreal than the first time because this time around, they heard their baby's heartbeat.

At almost ten weeks, they're baby is as big as a strawberry and their heartbeat is loud and strong and it sounds absolutely amazing. It had brought tears to their eyes, witnessing their little sweet pea wiggle about.  It was all overwhelmingly breathtaking.

"Is this...?" The woman trails off, her eyes landing on the picture.

Payton nods again and nonchalantly answers, "that's your grandchild."

Those words seem to bring tears to her eyes and he has never been more glad that she is his mother despite their differences. Payton hands her a copy, figuring that she'd want one for her office. He gives one to his father and the man takes it with a grunt, barely even glancing at it before he disappears to the bedroom to change.

"We're sorry we couldn't make it for Christmas or New Year's," she says.

"I'm used to it," Payton shrugs, it's not like it's the first time they've done this.

But this year he wasn't alone, he had his little family with him and he's so thankful for that.

"Payton," she sighs, "we promise to work harder in order to spend more time with you and him, especially when our grandchild is born."

"Last time I heard that promise I was 14 and you didn't even think of calling to check up on me. I stayed up all night Christmas Eve waiting for you until I couldn't stay awake anymore. But of course I'll believe you now, right?  I'm sure you'll keep your promise this time," Payton retorts, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

His mother looks almost physically pained, but he's not going to make this easy.

So, a bit bitterly he says, "don't make promises you can't keep, not to me and certainly not to Reese or our child."

A small whine draws their attention as Reese fumbles about.  He sits up completely dazed and tired, his body aches and belly hurts just a bit.  The doctor said that would happen, especially as the baby gets bigger and bigger so he's not too worried.

"Hey there sleeping beauty," Payton smiles, approaching the couch and kissing his cheek.

"Hi," Reese croaks.

The younger teen looks around the living room and finds an unfamiliar woman staring at him.  In his opinion, there's only one word to describe her.  Elegant.

Her hair is a light chestnut color pulled tightly back into a secured bun with a few flyaways sticking out.  Her face is framed by black squared glasses, brows done neatly and make up flawless.  She looks professional, if a little weary and tired.

And Payton looks reluctant but introduces her anyway, "Reese, this is mother.  Mother, this is Reese, my boyfriend."

She offers Reese a warm smile as she sticks out her hand in a handshake.  He gives into the gesture and finds her soft hand firm.  He swears his arm is almost ripped off its socket.

"Hello," she greets, "I'm Mrs. Parker, but you can call me Emma."

"Uh, hello Mrs- I mean- Emma," Reese corrects, "I'm Reese Rivera."

"It's so good to finally meet you," she says.

Reese nods a bit uncomfortable and mumbles to himself, "I thought we were going to meet during the holidays."

But she must have heard him because her expression becomes regretful and dejected.  She's ashamed of the kind of impression they've already left on the younger boy that's become part of their family.  What does he think of them?

"I'm sorry for not joining you for the holidays," she apologizes sincerely, "the hospital got incredibly busy and the snow storm only made it worse.  My husband's office also got swarmed with work after everyone took off."

Reese stares at her, not knowing what to say.  He's not exactly happy.  He saw how much it affected Payton and how down he was no matter how much the older teen feigned.  Reese feels angry on Payton's behalf and all the neglect he had to deal with, all the lonely nights and cold dinners by himself.  It pisses him off to think of a little Payton staying up late hoping to have a normal family dinner only to be deprived of his parents.

Tears well up in his eyes, tears of anger.  But he bites it back because he's not rude, but he doesn't offer the woman any comfort either.

By the end of the night he's met Emma and Elijah (her husband and Payton's father) for a total of 30 minutes before they're off again to their respective jobs.

And Reese finds that kind of lonely and sad.  They don't even seem to spend time with each other.  They're as cold as the iceberg that sank the titanic.

He turns to face Payton and wraps the older teen in his arms, "Are you okay?"

Payton lies just as he's been lying to himself all these years, "yeah, I'm okay.  I'm used to it."

# Chapter Twenty Four

F

. 11th
 

Reese notices something's wrong a month after returning to school.  

He's resorted to wearing big hoodies to hide the curves he wishes he didn't have, but he finds that people still stare.

After returning from break, things have gone from bad to worse.

He hears the new rumors about him everyday and he tries not to let them get to him.  He really does.

But he hears Anderson sneer behind his back, saying how they heard he was kicked out of his house and disowned because he spread his thighs.  Someone had claimed they saw him leave with a bag of clothes and his school things, and of course with nothing better to do, it's spread like wildfire.

He's only glad Payton isn't caught in the middle.

No one knows exactly where Payton lives, so when they saw him enter the rather expensive looking building another story was spun.  Rumor has it he's with a college student and he's dying of AIDS because he's a slut.  They're even placing bets on when his so-called boyfriend will dump him.

And despite all the hurtful things said about him, he doesn't say anything back.  He doesn't even bother to correct them, because the last thing he wants is for everyone to turn on Payton and start giving him shit.  So, he quietly takes the brunt of it and lets it roll off his back.

It doesn't bother him as much, because he knows the truth.  The truth is so much better and so much purer than what they believe in.  It's growing inside him every day, moving and fluttering like a little butterfly.  His baby is his truth and his pillar, much like Payton.  So, he stays strong or as strong as can be.

And he tries to protect Payton from Anderson's lies and hate.

Except, Payton has been acting different.

And Reese is slowly giving into a deep rooted sadness.

They spend time together at school and Reese has even joined him in the "football table" for lunch.  Everyone thinks they're just friends.  And despite the horrible rumors, he's even managed to make friends with a cute curly haired football player named Benjamin (Benji for short).  They've hit it off and Benji stands up for him whenever he hears Anderson's annoying voice.

But that's not the problem.

The problem is 
after
 school because Payton is... 
cold.

He's distant and leaves home after barely being there for five minutes.  He's always in a rush and doesn't even do his homework.

Reese doesn't pry though, he's not clingy and understands Payton needs time to himself sometimes.  

But most nights, he waits for Payton only for the older teen to arrive late into the night, sometimes at two in the morning.

Payton always checks up on him, texts him and occasionally calls to say he'll be home late.  Reese, however, still waits for him.  He cooks dinner for two and bears the pain of cut fingers and burn marks, only for their dinner to turn cold and stale because when Payton does arrive, the teen is usually too tired to eat.

Reese notices.  He notices what Payton fails to see.

He's losing weight.

He's failing classes.

He's falling behind.

And he doesn't say a word.

Reese doesn't know where he goes to and he's getting worried.

Until one day, he snaps.

It's 2:23 in the morning when Payton decides to arrive home.

Reese has his arms crossed over his chest, Payton's shirt snug around his belly as he taps his foot impatiently.

Payton doesn't even see him.

The older teen undresses and makes to head to the bathroom until Reese stops him with a hand closing the door.

"Hey," Payton says tiredly, dark bags under his eyes.

"Don't hey me," Reese grits.

"What's wrong?" The jock asks, voice nasally and raspy.

"What's wrong is that you're never home."

Payton sighs at this and it irks Reese.

"I'm tired, can we talk about this in the morni-"

"No," Reese cuts him off with a shove, "if you check your fucking phone you'll notice it 
is
 morning."

Payton glares, "What the fuck, Reese."

And Reese glares right back, "You're never home, you're acting like a dick, and you-you-"

Payton stares at the younger boy as he fumes and stews in anger, face turning red.

"You don't even do your school work, you're failing in your classes and... and you're missing something great."

Payton tilts his head, his foggy mind clearing as he takes in the picture of his distressed boyfriend.  Reese's hand is cupping the swell of his belly, something he swears wasn't there yesterday.

He stares in awe, "when did you start showing?"

Reese sniffles, "this, 
this, 
is what I mean.  You're never home, you're always late and you're so tired you look like death.  I might be acting bitchy and hormonal but I'm just worried about you.  You're losing weight, Payton, because you never eat."

The little crack in Reese's voice and the tears that roll down his cheeks snaps Payton into reality.  He's fucked up.

"Hey, hey, baby," he coos, hands cupping his cheeks and wiping away his tears, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Reese."

"You're never home and I miss you," he hiccups.

Payton hugs him tightly, ignoring the light headedness that clouds his vision for a split second.

"I'm sorry," he whispers soothingly, "I'm so sorry, fuck Reese, I fucked up. And no you're not bitchy, you're tired and sore and growing another person inside of you.  You're entitled to be hormonal and worried and scared.  I'm sorry I wasn't here these past few weeks, I'm sorry I was a ghost."

Reese buries his face in the crook of Payton's neck, arms wrapped around his shoulders and belly pressed against the jock's.

"I can't believe I was missing this," Payton says.

Reese pulls back, "You were missing a lot."

It's then Payton checks his phone and realizes he literally was.  He has two missed calls, six text messages, and a reminder set off.  All have gone ignored.

"Your doctor's appointment," he laments.

"I didn't go," Reese responds.

"What?  Why? You should've gone, fuck, Reese, I'm sorry!"

"I'm still angry," Reese sniffs softly, "but I'm also tired and I know you are too."

Reese leads Payton to bed, ready to crawl under and fall asleep only to have the jock stop him.

"Reese, I'm sorry," he repeats.

"I know," Reese sighs, "come 'ere."

Once settled, he opens his arms for Payton and let's the teen hold him close and tight until he falls asleep atop Reese's chest, hand splayed on his baby bump.

But Reese doesn't fall asleep just yet.

He studies Payton's greyish pallor.  He notices how he has difficulty breathing and coughs uncontrollably, how he shivers and trembles despite the thick comforter covering the both of them.

He brushes away unruly hair and kisses Payton's warm forehead, frowning at the small sound of discomfort.

He sighs deeply, "What have you been doing Payton?"

# Chapter Twenty Five

F. 12th

Payton stumbles out of bed and toward the bathroom, intent on taking a quick shower.

Reese peers at the time, yawning with a frown when he realizes it's only 5:41 in the morning.  His brows furrow when he hears the shower turn on, but he's too tired to question why Payton is up so early.  He turns onto his side and buries his face in Payton's pillow, scenting his boyfriend's faint smell.  He hums tiredly and dozes off.

But it isn't long before something wakes him up.  It's annoying and incessant.  Sounds like a vibrating phone.  With a grunt, Reese blindly reaches for it and answers the call without checking the caller ID.

"
Payton, where 

the

 hell are you?  Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is 

to

 have 

my

 own employees ask for my own son, claiming 

that

 

he's

 late to work?  

It's

 rather 

humiliating

 to say my own son is 

late

 to the job 

I've

 provided for him.  

Don't

 

you

 think 

it's

 

enough

 for me to give you a job, but now 

I

 

have

 to cover for you?  How 

irresponsible

 are you?  Do you 

really

 think you can take care of a 

child

 when you can barely keep--"

"
Please stop, Mr. Parker," Reese intervenes, voice hardening with anger.

"And you are?"
 The man demands impatiently.

"I'm Reese, I believe we met briefly a few weeks ago," Reese grits, "and I don't know what gives but you really have no right to talk to or about Payton like that."

"
I talk to my son 

however

 

I

 want and he is clearly irresponsible
," the man growls.

Reese's brow furrows in anger, "Payton is tired, he has school to worry about and he shouldn't be receiving hell from someone who neglected him all his life."

"
For

 your information
," the man drawls, "
he is my son and he does as 

I

 say.  It's enough that 

he

 got someone like 

you

 pregnant, the least he can do is 

maintain

 a job to cater to a freeloader and his 

child's

 needs.
"

Reese cheeks heat up, "Payton didn't tell me he was working, much less that he was working for you."

"
Of course not
," Elijah scoffs, "
now 

I'm

 

done

 chattering, hand 

the

 

phone

 over to 

Payton

 

this

 instant.
"

The younger boy heads to the bathroom with the intention of hanging up on Payton's father, "he's not going to work.  He's staying home and he's going to rest.  If anything, he should be at school instead of skipping just to please you and your ego."

"
Look, you 

insolent

 child, give 

the

 phone to Payton immediately or else-
"

Reese doesn't hear the rest of it.

His heart beats fast when he pushes open the door and finds Payton passed out cold on the tiled floor.  He nearly stops breathing at the sight, and he drops the phone in his haste to get to the unconscious teen.

"Payton?  Payton wake up!"  He cries.

Payton is burning up, body shivering uncontrollably as he burns with fever.  He's flushed and sweaty, lips pale and mumbling in delirium.  His breathing is shallow and the wheezing almost sounds painful.

"Payton," Reese whimpers, brushing the teen's hair back, "Payton wake up, please."

"
Hello? Payton?  Reese?"

Reese looks at the discarded phone and he picks it up with trembling hands, voice shaky as as he begs for help.

"
What happened?"  
Elijah demands, papers rustling in the background.

"I-I don't know.  He, Payton, I don't know.  He won't wake up," Reese blubbers, "he's not waking up."

"
Stay

 on the line, 

I'm

 on my way."

Reese nods despite the man not being able to see him.

He quickly sets the phone on loud speaker beside him and carefully picks up Payton's head, placing it on his lap.

He closes his eyes and begs for Payton to wake up, to be okay, "Please Payton, please, please, please."

Elijah steps inside the apartment and looks around in a panic.

He finds the boys in the bathroom.  He suppresses his fear and helps the pregnant teen up, making sure he's alright before focusing on his son.

Payton isn't reacting and he's so scared that he'll lose him.  That the last thing he said to his son, was what a disappointment he was for a stupid mistake in the bank's calculations.

He feels so guilty, so horrible, for not noticing how worn his son was.  For pushing him beyond his limits until he collapsed.

"Are you okay?" He asks the terrified teen cowering by the door.

Reese gives a small sniffle and a nod.

"Come on, were going to the hospital."

Reese follows behind him, with a t-shirt, sweats, and slippers on.  He barely feels the cold that surrounds him even as his body shivers in protest.  His sole focus is on Payton, guilt gnawing at him as well.  The last thing he did was yell at the person he loves who only wanted to provide for him and their child.

# Chapter Twenty Six

F. 14th

Payton groans, eyes heavy and head stuffed with cotton.  The first thing he feels is a warm body pressed against his and when he looks down, he finds Reese fast asleep curled up against him.  He can't help but smile at the sight, his baby boy snoring softly and completely at ease, vulnerable.  His arm wraps around Reese and it's then he feels a sharp tug in his arm.  He looks down with furrowed brows when he spots the IV stuck in his arm.

He finally looks around and finds his surroundings unfamiliar.  The light is dim but even then he can make out the shape of the room, of the 
hospital 
room.

"Shit," he groans, thudding his head against the pillow.

He looks back at Reese and only now notices a small hospital mask covering his nose and mouth.  He squints at the white board across the room quickly, across it is scribbled the date.

February 14th.

Fuck!  He's been out for two day!

Reese snuffles sleepily, huffing tiredly as his eyes flutter open.

"Hey," he rasps.

Payton croaks in a panic, "Reese, fuck baby boy, I'm so sorry, I-"

Reese shuts him up with a small kiss to the lips through the thin material of the mask, effectively stopping his blabbering, "hush, it's okay."

"You just... Reese! I'm sick, you can't just kiss me like that.  You can get sick and-"

"I'm okay," Reese assures, pulling off the mask, "We're okay."

Payton sighs deeply, asking, "what happened?"

"You have pneumonia," Reese answers, "and you suddenly collapsed, scaring me half to death."

"Pneumonia?"

"Started as a cold but it got worse," Reese explains.

"I'm sorry," Payton apologizes.

"What for?" Reese asks with a small tilt to his head, "I should be apologizing to you.  You... You were working so hard for us, and all I did was yell at you and... and fuck."

Payton's heart clenches at the sight of his precious boy crying, tears welling in his tired eyes and spilling down his cheeks, "hey, hey it's okay.  Shh, don't cry, sweetheart."

"Yo-You wouldn't wake up," Reese shudders, shoulders shaking, "and I was so terrified."

"Hey," Payton whispers, "I'm okay, don't cry.  I'm right here."

He presses a kiss to Reese's forehead, gently placing the mask over his face before kissing his lips through the surgical mask next.

Reese sniffles, "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"You shouldn't apologize.  You were right, sweetheart.  I wasn't thinking about myself and I was slowly killing myself without even realizing it," Payton exhales, "And I'm so mad with myself, so 
angry
.  I did the one thing I promised to myself that I wouldn't do.  I became my parents and put work before all else.  I ignored you, neglected you, and left you so alone.  And fuck, that's the one thing I said I would never do.  I never wanted you to feel like I felt.  Our baby isn't even born yet and I already failed."

Reese snivels, "You didn't fail me or our baby.  You were doing your best to provide for us, to care for us in your own way.  It hurt and it made me angry when I found out your father was exploiting you, but I'm not... I'm not angry 
at 
you.  I'm just... I was just so worried about you, so scared and then you just collapsed and it was terrifying."

"I promise I won't do that again.  I promise, Reese, to you and our child."

Payton's large hand cups the younger's small baby bump, still in awe that Reese is actually showing, "I missed so much."

Reese snuggles against him, "We'll make up for it."

They talk for an hour, Reese finally succumbing to sleep around 12: 02 AM.

Payton doesn't sleep just yet.  He's tired of sleeping and he's perfectly content with watching the rise and fall of Reese's chest.

A soft knock on the door grasps his attention and his mother steps inside.

She offers him a small smile as she asks, "how are you feeling?"

Payton shrugs, "better, I guess."

She administers another dose of antibiotics through his IV, her gaze falling on Reese.

"He's given the nurses a battle," she chuckles, "wouldn't leave your side for anything in the world.  Your father had to give him his coat because he refused to go home and change."

Payton nods, not really knowing how to reply.  The awkward silence fills the tension between them, making her sigh.

She pats his leg before leaving, saying that his father wants a word.

And he steels his nerves, ready to confront his old man.

"I'm glad to see you awake," Elijah says in lieu of greeting.

"I'm quitting," Payton states.

The man stares in surprise, "excuse me?"

"I've been doing what you've done throughout all my life and I'm done.  I refuse to continue hurting Reese like that.  He and our baby are my priority, they should've been my priory all along, and I'm done putting your bank and your offer before my family.  So, I'm quitting.  I'll find another place to work in, I'll figure out how to survive for them because I don't want to be your puppet anymore."

And before his father can answer or argue, Payton adds, "I know Emma said you wanted to speak to me, but I'm done talking, Mr. Parker.  Now if you could please leave, I'd appreciate it.  I'm tired and so are they."

# Chapter Twenty Seven

F. 17th

Payton and Reese celebrate Valentine's Day that weekend, considering Payton was hospitalized they didn't have time to actually enjoy the sweet holiday.  However, now it's even sweeter because they're finally home and in a matter of days Payton has managed to get a quick easy job in the bakery across the street.  It won't pay as much, but it'll be enough to buy baby stuff and new clothes for Reese.

"I swear," Reese sighs, a small smile on his lips, "I'm going to get so big."

Payton grins, "You're only going to look more amazing, be more handsome and gorgeous."

"Not if you keep feeding me sweets and cupcakes," the pregnant teen complains.

But despite his pouting, he takes another bite of the chocolate cupcake Payton swiped on his way home from the interview.  Payton leans in and licks a bit of frosting from the corner of his boyfriend's lip, humming around the sweet confection melting on his tongue.

"You love cupcakes," he notes, "and chocolates."

Reese smiles a bit, "I don't think you remember when we first met if you've just realized I love chocolate."

Payton tilts his head in confusion, "Wasn't it in math class when I stole the seat beside you?"

With a small shake of his head, Reese recounts, "We met a few days before, it was after English Lit.  I uh.. was hungry and I accidentally bumped into you.  You weren't angry though, at least that's what you said.  Instead you actually gave me chocolate before walking away without a word."

Recognition lights Payton's eyes.

"Do you remember now?"

"Yeah," Payton laughs, "I saw you eating chocolate the first day of school and... and I thought you looked cute devouring it, so I kind of wanted to give you some.  I didn't think I'd actually... that you and I... and I wasn't dared by the way!"

"I know," Reese reassures, giggling at how flustered the jock appears.

"I'm glad I met you, you know that right?  And I don't ever regret being dared, otherwise I would've never gotten the courage to approach again.  I would've been too... sucked in my own world to look around me."

"I'm glad too," Reese admits, looking down where Payton's hand is.

The jock's hand never leaves the younger's swollen belly, wishing he could feels what Reese feels.

"I know they'll love you." Reese whispers, more than aware of Payton's fears, "you'll be an amazing daddy."

Payton nods, leaning down to kiss the warm mound, "and they'll love you too, but if anything you'll be daddy."

"What about you?  We can't both be daddy, right?"

Payton shrugs, "I'm not sure, I think I'll be papa or maybe father?"

Reese laughs, "as if you'll ever be the disciplinary parent."

"One of us will have to be," the jock pouts, cheeks becoming rosy in embarrassment because Reese is right.

"You can try all you want, fafa," Reese snickers, "but you will always be wrapped around their little fingers."

Payton sighs, "You're right."

"What?  What's wrong?"

"Our little sweet pea is already the size of an orange," Payton says, "and I can't help but think how they only get bigger."

"Really?" Reese replies sarcastically, "I haven't noticed."

Payton pinches his chubby cheek, "don't get so cheeky, baby boy."

Reese grins, but his smile falls when he sniffles.  He wipes under his nose and grimaces when he finds blood.

"Fuck," Payton exclaims in alert, reaching for the nearest cloth, which so happens to be one of his t-shirts.

Reese wrinkles his nose, thankful that Payton takes control.

"Have you had these often?"

"No," Reese frowns, voice sounding stuffy, "first time I've ever had a nosebleed."

"I read it's a bit normal," Payton explains, "What with your blood volume increasing to help our baby."

Reese raises a brow, "so, Dr. Payton Parker, what else should I expect?"

Another bright blush covers Payton's cheeks and spreads all the way to the tips of his ears, "maybe a bit of heartburn."

Reese smiles, pushing away Payton's hand, thankful that the bleeding has stopped.

"What?"

"Maybe you should be an OB/GYN?"

"Maybe you should take your nap," Payton retorts, "You're beginning to think you're funny."

"But I'm serious!"

Payton kisses his head, "sleep, sleepy head."

Reese yells in indignation when Payton lays him down and wraps him up in a blanket.  He soon finds himself failing to stay awake.

And when he's almost asleep, he pokes Payton's side, "I'm serious, you know that right?"

"I know," Payton whispers, "but it's not something that'll be possible for me."

Reese falls asleep with a small frown on his lips, not at all liking how Payton sounds so resigned.

He wants to ask why.

But he quickly loses the fight against his exhaustion, feeling warm and safe as he curls up agaisnt Payton.

# Chapter Twenty Eight

M. 18th

Reese is 20 weeks pregnant and every day he's showing more and more.  It's getting harder to hide his growing belly and he's more reluctant to go to school and pretend like another person isn't growing inside him.

He ducks and cowers, fearing a hard blow to his round belly whenever he walks down the halls.  His hoodies are starting to fit too tight and they do nothing to hide his pregnancy.  He can't even tie his shoes without Payton's help anymore.

And, of course, everyone notices.

Everybody whispers behind his back.  He doesn't know if the rumors are worse than before or not.  They're mostly just about how much of a slut he is.  He doesn't let it affect him though.  Or at least he tries.

That is, until Anderson decides to take it a step further.

He's walking toward his locker, intent on putting his books away, to meet Payton in the library.

Anderson takes the opportunity to stop him halfway there.

"Hey slut," the jock sneers.

Reese tries to ignore him, he really does, but what comes out of his mouth next pisses him off.

"Is it true you're carrying a little parasitic bastard?  Does that mean you really are a 
gir
l?  You fucking tranny."

"My baby isn't a bastard or a parasite unlike you," Reese growls angrily, face flushed, "so shove your words down your throat."

"Oh!" Anderson exclaims in shock, "so it 
is
 true, you're a fucking tranny!  A real slut ain't you.  Where's the little brat's dad?  Bet he left you when he realized what a b-"

"Shut the fuck up, Anderson," Payton quickly intervenes.

Anderson rolls his eyes in annoyance, "What the fuck do you want now?  You can't be his savior all the time, and why the fuck do you even care?"

"I care, because the person you're insulting and therefore hurting, is the carrier of 
my
 baby and I refuse to see him deal with scum like you while pregnant."

The shock on Anderson's face is priceless until it morphs into one of mischief.

Reese stares at Payton horrified.  Does he know what he just did?

"You're lying," Anderson tries.

Payton only puffs out his chest, arm wrapping around Reese's waist and eyes narrowing, challenging him, "does it look like I am?"

"Shit," Anderson laughs, "You actually took the slut to bed!  You're a fucking fag!"

Reese looks down, his belly covering the view of where his feet should be, but his embarrassment and shame is palpable.

Payton's body burns with anger.  He knew they were making fun of Reese.  He never thought that they escalated to horrible fucking names.  He strides right up to Anderson, clenches his hands and throws the first fist.

Anderson fights back and all Payton can hear is Reese begging for them to stop.

At one point he even tries to pull Payton back only to be shoved by Anderson into the lockers.

He hits hard with his hip and his knees buckle with the breath knocked out of him at the sharp pain.  He closes his eyes before impact and the first thing he thinks of is his baby.  His sweet little pea.

"Reese!"

He tries to breathe through the filling pain, but his breaths only come out harshly with his slight panic.

"Reese," Payton repeats 

He looks up as Payton kneels beside him with a split lip and blood dribbling down his chin.

"Reese?  Reese, baby are you okay?"

It takes a while for Reese to react, his hand automatically on his belly as tears well up in his eyes.

"Shit," Anderson mutters under his breath.

The vice principal and a nearby teacher rush down the hallway and toward them, assessing the sight immediately.

"Reese, right?" Vice Principal Harry asks.

Reese manages a weak nod.

"Are you okay?  Can you stand?"

Payton helps him up slowly, arm wrapping around his waist and making him wince.

"Let's get you to the nurse's office, Mr. Parker and Mr. Smith, to the main office."

Reese looks panicked between the adults before settling on Payton, shaking his head quickly, "No, not Payton, please."

The teacher and VP share a look before reluctantly agreeing, "Alright, it's okay Reese, Payton can come with you."

They take him to the nurse's office and call his doctor.  All the while he holds his breath.

"Any bleeding?  Sharp pain?"

Reese bites his lip, "no blood and it hurts a little."

"Do you mind if I see?"

Payton holds his breath, keeping his own fear in check as Reese lifts his hoodie and tee.

He can make out the pink stretch marks beginning to adorn his belly and just above his hip is a nasty forming bruise.

"Just a bit of bruising and swelling," the nurse notes, relaying everything to the doctor on the phone line, "no vaginal bleeding or discharge."

They wait impatiently for the verdict with bated breath.

"Alright boys," she sighs, giving them a small smile, "for now you seem stable, but your doctor wants to see you as soon as possible just to make sure.  How are you feeling, Reese?"

"A bit nauseas," Reese admits, although the pallor of his face is being replaced with that healthy pregnancy glow he had before the incident.

"That's normal after a scare like that," the nurse hums, "here, put a little ice for the swelling."

Reese lays down on his side and places the ice pack on his bruising hip.

"What about you boys?"

Payton has an ice pack on his busted lip and Anderson has tissue up his nose.  

They both look ashamed, lying through gritted teeth, "we're good."

She tsks, but her anger is directed solely at Anderson, "now you leave the poor boy alone.  It's enough with your cruel words.  He has to worry about himself and his child, not about your silly and childish disputes and bullying.  I'm sure the principal will lecture you, both of you, and you better hope this doesn't repeat itself because that little baby can only take so much."

They nod, effectively reprimanded, and when she leaves to report to the main office, Payton hops off his bed and scurries to Reese's side.

"Hey," he whispers, afraid to touch.

"Hi," Reese sniffs, head pillowed on his arm.

Payton reaches out, but holds back.

Reese huffs and takes his hand with a wince, "it's okay, we're okay."

Payton lays his hand carefully on the warm skin and breathes in relief.

Another wince crosses Reese's face and Payton stares wide eyed.

"Is that?"

"Yeah," Reese breathes, "baby's kicking."

Payton's heart melts, "that's our baby.  Our strong little sweet pea."

# Chapter Twenty Nine

A. 26th

After the incident a month ago, Reese has been more cautious.  There was an announcement that violence and bullying against any student is prohibited and although the snickers and whispers continue, they're less than before.

However, due to the little stunt Payton and Anderson pulled, both were suspended for three days from school.  They even had to write an apology letter, not only to each other, but to Reese as well.

He had giggled as Payton read it to him with his deepest most ridiculous "sincere" apologetic voice back in the comfort of their home.

It was comical, but a painful reminder of what could've happened that day.

So, since then, Payton has been extra careful.  He keeps an eye on Reese and the baby, making sure both of them are alright and safe from any danger.  He's become a complete mother hen.  It should annoy Reese, and at times it does, but it's also endearing.

And at 26 weeks, Reese has gotten huge.  Well, at least that's what he thinks.  His ankles are always swollen and it hurts to walk.  He can't bend down anymore.  He's always hungry and horny (sometimes it's hard to distinguish between the two) and he's just tired, like all the time.

Not to mention that his clothes no longer fit and Payton's are starting to feel too snug around his waist too.

They go shopping, of course, and Reese's eyes always stray to the baby section.

Payton never has the heart to tell him no.  In fact, he drags the younger boy toward the baby stuff where they admire and coo at how tiny the clothes are.

And Reese always buys a gender neutral outfit with each trip.  Just one because he knows Payton is working hard and he knows his boyfriend is saving up to put together the nursery.  He conforms himself to buying things one at a time, even though Payton sneaks a few more items without his knowledge.  They're important, he swears.  Except that little white teddy bear with large round eyes begging to be bought.

It's all they can do to prepare for their baby's arrival really.

And with winter turning into spring, nostalgia also comes along for the ride.  

The football coach asked Payton to return to the field to encourage the newbies and to teach them a thing or two about football.  So, Payton's been busier than ever, getting home sweaty and flushed from practice before showering and going to the bakery.

Spring break was spent between working and at home giving Reese foot rubs or at the guest room next door to their bedroom to fix up the nursery.

Benji has even visited a few times to help out and the jock is proud to say they managed to put the crib together with minimal problems and disputes about which bolt was A and which was C.

Even when Reese wasn't allowed in the room (he still isn't), he could still hear their arguing and he always found it hilarious.

It's been an interesting few weeks.

Despite the downsides of pregnancy like heartburn and restless nights, Reese is more than excited.

He waddles around the house now too, making Payton hide his little smile as he watches the younger huff and puff and complain about how hard it is breathe now.

He finds it adorably amusing.

Reese doesn't think the same.

"Reese?"

"Hm?"

"Do you want to find out the sex of the baby?"

Reese stops what he's doing, spoonful of ice cream sticking out his mouth as he stares at Payton.  He gives a little shake of his head and a quick mutter around the utensil, "no, do you?"

Payton shrugs, "I don't know.  I don't mind, it's up to you really."

"If you want to know, we can always ask at our next check up," Reese says.

The jock takes the proffered bit of ice cream with a small hum of appreciation, "how about we leave it as a surprise?  Our sweet little pea is still ours regardless."

Reese smiles, "sounds like a plan but... we should really talk about names."

"Really?" Payton groans.

"We can't just call them sweet pea forever!"

Payton raises a brow, "is that a dare?"

That receives a small smack to the head, "No, it's not a dare.  Why are you like this?"

Payton chuckles, sobering quickly as he admits, "It just... It feels like a heavy responsibility to name our baby.  What if they hate their name?  What if they hate me because I chose a horrible name?"

"They won't hate you even if you name them Darth Vader," Reese assures, "they'll love you regardless.  I mean, they love you now."

Payton rolls his eyes but smiles at that, his hands cupping the swell of Reese's belly only to receive a sharp kick to the palm.

"See?" Reese wheezes.

"Oh now that's just an exaggeration!"

"Yes, it is, but I'm serious.  They love you already Payton, we love you so much, please don't ever doubt that."

"I don't," Payton assures, "by the way, Darth Vader?  We have a better chance of them surviving high school as Spock."

"You did not just say that!"  Reese gasps.

Payton sticks out his tongue, laughing when Reese punches his arm.

"Since when are you so violent!"  Payton shouts in indignation.

"Since you got me pregnant," Reese retorts.

Yeah, it's been an interesting 
good
 few weeks.

# Chapter Thirty

J. 21st

Reese is uncomfortable.

It's the only word to describe how he feels being 33 weeks pregnant.  Everything hurts and it's hard to breath properly, similar to when he was wearing a binder but different because the pressure is lower.

His breasts are swollen.  They're sore and feels heavy.  He's generally always sore and cranky and tired though, because the baby won't let him sleep and he has to pee 24/7.  He's a bit of a mess.

He's also half asleep as they rehearse for graduation and the June heat isn't helping.

He feels like he's suffocating.

"You okay?" Payton asks.

"I'm tired," Reese mutters, breathing through a sharp pain gripping his swollen belly.

It's been going on and off for the better half of the morning but he chalks it up to simple Braxton Hicks.  They suck.

"You look a little pale," Payton comments concerned.

"I'm also a little hot," Reese snaps, fanning himself to no avail.

Payton frowns.

Reese has definitely been more cranky, but today in particular has been really bad.  He watches as the younger places his hands against his lower back to relieve the pressure, making his belly stick out even further.  His hair is a mess and he's sweating, a permanent grimace on his face.

"Payton Parker!"

Payton looks up as his name is called and he's forced to leave Reese alone as he gets his fake diploma.  He shakes the principal's hand and the person who hands him the flimsy scroll of paper before walking off the stage.

His eyes search for Reese and he immediately finds him with his eyes closed shut and face scrunched in pain.

"Reese Rivera!"

One of the cheerleaders has to tap him on the shoulder to grasp his attention when his name is finally called.

His gait is slow and heavy and it's clear that he's not okay.

When he's off the stage the staff even offer him water and a seat.  So, he's not the only one who's noticed.

As the day progresses things seem to get worse.

Reese is irritable when they get home to change into white dress shirts and nice pants with shiny shoes.

Payton ties the leather laces for him, and helps zip up his maroon gown before placing the cap on his head.

"You okay?" He asks again.

"'m fine," Reese lies through his teeth, "let's just get this over with."

Payton is more than pleased to see his parents waiting for them.  They've been keeping their promise.  They're home more often and they spend more time getting to know them both.  It was weird and awkward at first, Payton was (is) still bitter, but he's opened up some.  Only because Reese insisted.  Reese knows what it feels like to lose his parents, he doesn't want Payton to go through that either, so he encourages him to fix what's not yet broken.

"You both look so handsome," his mother coos.

Payton's cheeks flush, as he gives her a loose hug, "thanks."

His father gives him an awkward pat on the back in pride before the man and Emma turn to hug Reese.

"Are you okay, Reese?" His mother asks.

"Just peachy," Reese replies.

But there's something in the way his voice hitches, the way he holds himself, that screams otherwise.

The cheers and applause when they arrive at school and file into the ceremony, files everything to the back of his mind.

Payton keeps an eye on Reese, but it's all so surreal.  Hearing his name called, the applause of the football team, the proud smiles of his parents, and the thunderous applause drowns out the image of Reese doubled over in agony.

Reese doesn't even wait for the last syllable of his own name to be called when he's waddling down the stage to grab his fake diploma.  He doesn't even notice his own parents applauding in the crowd.  It's not like he would care.  It's too late for that.

But it's then, at that moment, that Payton sees Reese, truly takes in his battered appearance.

"What's wrong?" He demands as soon as the younger boy is within reach.

Reese is about to reply when he feels something wet flood his pants, the pressure in his stomach unbearable.  His eyes grow wide in horror as his heart stops.

No
.

Payton looks down to see Reese pressing his hand to his groin and lower belly in shock and pain, the silk fabric slowly darkening.

Fuck!

They think simultaneously.

Payton stares wide eyed at the scene before him, "Reese?"

"My water just broke," Reese chokes out.

Adrenaline immediately rushes through Payton as he wraps his arm around Reese.  They sneak away from the crowd and hurry out the back.

"Fuck," Reese whimpers as tears blur his vision, "it hurts."

"I know baby boy, it's okay well get you to the hospital and you can-"

He gets cut off by a panicked look and a shake of the head, "too late."

"What?"

They're outside in the parking lot, Reese barely in the passenger seat with his legs spread, "it's too late, gotta push, need to push.  It 
hurts
 Payton!"

"No," Payton breathes, "No, no, no.  Baby's too early and we're supposed to be at the hospital and-and-"

The sound of running feet catch up them, Emma approaching them quickly.

"Payt?  Reese?" She huffs.

Payton turns to his mother, seeking her, begging for guidance and help.

"His water broke, please, please we need to help him.  He's too early!"

Elijah nods, already taking the keys out to the car, urging everyone inside.

Reese is oddly quiet on the ride to the hospital

The only sounds are his little whimpers and Payton's soft encouragements whispered in his ear.

At the hospital everything is a bit of a mess.

They whisk Reese toward labor and delivery.

Only to discover that it's too late to stop the contractions.  His water already broke and the baby is ready to come out 
now
.

Payton is in the room, hastily throwing on skewed blue scrubs and a mask.

His mother is at the other side of the bed for moral support as the midwife stands at the foot where Reese's legs are held up in stirrups.

"Fuck!" The younger curses, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks as his back arches.

Payton grits through the pain as his hand is crushed in Reese's tight hold.

He bears with it because what Reese is going through is so much more worse.

"Come on Reese!" Emma encourages eagerly, "one more push!"

One more push turns into several until finally he hears a sharp cry fill the room of bated breath.

The baby is a little gross, wet, and slimey with gunk covering it's tiny little body and face.  But the tiny wailing scream is strong.

"A boy," the midwife announces, holding the newborn up for everyone to, "congratulations, you have a little boy."

Reese has tears in his eyes, hiccuping slightly at the precious sight of his little boy.

But they carry him away quickly and not just to clean him up.

He's immediately placed in an incubator, his lungs still weak and developing.

The sight of the staff sticking his little body with needles breaks Reese's heart and he cries out begging to hold his baby.

"It's okay," Payton whispers, kissing the top of his sweat soaked hair, "he's okay, he just needs a little more time."

Reese sniffles at that, barely feeling when they encourage him to pass the placenta.

His sole focus is on his baby boy.

His arms empty and aching.

Baby Parker weighs 5 lbs 2 oz and measures 17.5 inches long.

They don't name him Darth Vader or Spock.

His name is River Luc Parker, born on June 21st at 10:27 PM.

![](https://img.wattpad.com/590bc00894a7a29e0d427415495d6067a9e03454/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f575938376562623864477a6152773d3d2d3632383233363930342e313535316666373862633366613437303736363332303931363331392e6a7067)

A/N: Originally baby River was going to be a girl, but due to popular demand... surprise!  Also, we're at the end of the line 😢.  It might seem rushed but I really just wanted to complete the story and why wait when I finally managed to write it out, right?  

(I also didn't want to have these chapters sitting unpublished because then I'd get the urge to rewrite everything and I'm a bit too excited to work on something else.)

So, sorry if it does seem too fast paced or rushed.  Nonetheless, I hope you liked it!

# Epilogue

Reese looks down at the baby in his arms suckling soundly on his nipple as he eats.  His cheeks are chubby and red, heart shaped lips pink and button nose upturned.  The baby coos and gurgles, clearly enjoying his meal as he drinks up.

Payton steps into the nursery quietly.  He looks a bit shy at the scene, watching their baby River eat hungrily from Reese.

Just three weeks ago they had graduated high school and they thought they'd lost River after being born prematurely.  Everything felt like a dream, like a really bad dream when River was taken to NICU.

But now he's big and getting stronger each day, little hand curled into a fist on Reese's bare chest.

"Hey," Payton smiles.

"Hey, yourself," Reese smiles brightly.

He looks good, healthy.  The anguish and fear of losing River replaced with contentment at having the little body in his arms, warm and heavy.

Payton leans down to kiss River's head before kissing Reese's plump lips.

"You hungry?" He asks.

Reese snorts, gently dislodging River from his nipple and making the baby scrunch up his face and cry in anger.

"Sorry, buddy," Payton apologizes, helping Reese rearrange the small bundle.

River snuffles, nuzzling against Reese's breast and resuming his eating.

"Okay, so he's hungry," Payton chuckles.

"You would think I'm starving him," Reese smiles, more careful not to piss of their baby boy as he huffs a small laugh.

"Clearly," Payton agrees, "I brought some food.  Well... actually someone else did."

"Benji?  He does know he's already god-father right?  He doesn't need to bribe me with food anymore."

"No, I mean River's grandparents," Payton continues, evasively.

"Emma and Elijah?  They said they were gonna be late tonight," Reese frowns.

"No," Payton sighs, "I mean your parents."

Reese looks at Payton, expecting the older teen to say, "just kidding!"

But he's not joking and this isn't a prank.

"They were at graduation and I tried to tell them 
politely
 to fudge off," Payton continues, "but they're a bit adamant."

"I'm not... I don't want to see them."

"I know, sweetheart, but-"

"No buts," Reese frowns, "I was here all along, why did it take so darn long for them to come around?  Why now?"

"I know and I'll tell them if you want me to," Payton agrees, "but one day, in the future, if River asks, don't keep him away."

"That'll be his decision," Reese nods, "but until then it's mine.  And I refuse to see them, I refuse to expose our son to the people who never wanted him, to the people who told me to get rid of him."

Payton kisses away his tears and does just that.

He turns them away and closes the door with a breath of relief.

When he returns to the nursery, he finds Reese still in the rocking chair dozing off.

Baby River is fast asleep, little mouth slack with milk smeared across his chin and cheek.

He carefully takes the bundle and carries him to the mahogany crib next to the little white teddy bear before picking up Reese effortlessly and setting him to bed.

Reese curls in Payton's arms.

And Payton misses the way Reese's belly filled out with their baby and pressed against him.

But at this moment, regardless of the nostalgia and sadness that their baby isn't between them anymore, he's more than happy to be where he is.

Their baby boy fast asleep in his little crib as his exhausted daddy sleeps in his arms.

Regardless of the ups and downs they've faced and will no doubt continue to face, he's proud to call Reese his, because Reese is the strongest person he knows.

Despite society wanting to paint him pink.

He grabbed the brush and screamed at the top of his lungs to paint him blue.

Because he's who he is and nothing and no one can define him as something he isn't and doesn't want to be.  Not the dysphoria and depression, not the pressure of conforming to society's standard, not his breasts or the stretch marks that scream otherwise.

Reese is himself.

Reese is blue.

The End.