PRETTY LITTLE SAVAGE

This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, incidents are produced by the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events and locales are extremely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this story may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including, photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the author, except where permitted by law.

© AMoRe2025

Date Posted: March 25, 2025 Ended: July 18, 2025

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Zenver Maranzano’s story.

PROLOGUE

Prologue

Sumilip muna ako sa labas ng aking silid. Tingin sa kanan, tingin sa kaliwa! Check and clear! Wala ng tao! Tulog na ang mga tao sa bahay! Inayos ko saglit ang suot kong croprop tee and leather highwaisted shorts.

Tinampal ko ang dalawang pisngi at naglagay ulit ng lipbalm sa lips ko na already pink na ang kulay! Thanks to my Papadad and Daddy for this kind of genes!

Sinilid ko sa aking shoulder bag ang lipbalm at saka yumuko upang abutin ang aking louboutin heels. Magpa-paa ako pababa kasi naka-high resolution pa naman ang mga pandinig ng mga pamilya ko!

Ngiti akong lumabas sa aking kwarto. Pero pigil hininga naman ako sa pagsara sa aking pinto upang huwag makalikha ng kahit na anong ingay! Ito ang mahirap sa pamilya na may mga… tsk… extra ordinary na skills. Kahit kaluskos naririnig yata nila! Kulang na lang pati paghinga ay naririnig na rin nila.

Tsini-tsek ko ang aking phone, cards, and car keys nang may biglang humarang na paa sa aking harapan! Paa… paa palang ay kilala ko na. Dahan-dahan kong inilipat ang aking mata mula sa aking bag tungo sa taong nagmamay-ari ng paa.

Hilaw akong napangiti nang makita ko si Daddy sa aking harapan. Naka-cross arms sa malapad na dibdib ni Dad ang kanyang braso habang tamad akong pinupukol ng tingin. He was wearing a long  army green night robe and a black pants. Dahil hindi nakasintas ang lace no’ng robe ni Dad, kitang-kita ko ang namumula niyang dibdib na parang may kumalmot!

“My Rainbow Princess, where are you going?”

“H-hihihi! Daddy!” Ngusong anang ko at niyakap ang aking ama.

“Answer me, Zenver.”

Napabitiw ako sa yakap ko mula kay Daddy. Pinagsiklop ko ang kamay ko at nagpuppy eyes kay Dad.

“Dad, lalabas ako! Please!”

Bumuntong hininga siya. Alam kong hindi ako matitiis ni Daddy! Konting luha at konting paawa ko lang dito bibigay na ito! D’yan nga kinakabahan si Papadad eh kasi alam niyang hinding-hindi ako mahihindian ni Tyson Greg Maranzano!

Daddy’s eyes scanned my body. “What… what kind of clothes are those, Zen? You’re going out late at night, and you’re only wearing a thin piece of fabric to cover yourself.”

“I-iinom lang naman ako sa labas, Daddy. Sila… sila Zhuri nga at Kuya Zy… umiinom rin sa labas.”

Rinig ko ang marahas na hininga ni Daddy bago lumapit sa akin. Niyakap niya ako.

“Alam mo kung bakit ako ganito, Zen.”

“I am careful, Dad! I won’t spread my legs for anyone!”

My father’s jaws just clicked!

“You can’t say that, Zen, when temptation comes your way.”

Tingingala ko ang aking ama. My parents were not getting any younger, but my Daddy is still as handsome as ever! Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan kong gaano ako na-gwapuhan kay Daddy noon. My Papa Pike is handsome, but my Daddy Tyson is brutally handsome. If my Daddy is devilishly good-looking, then Papa Pike is genuinely handsome. However, you don’t want a good guy gone mad, because they become merciless! I witnessed that firsthand when Tita Sean’s life was in danger. It was my first time seeing Papa Pike look like he wanted to turn the world upside down just to save Tita Sean.

“I promise, Daddy! I’ll be a very well-behaved princess!”

Hinigpitan ko pa ang pagkakayakap ko sa aking pinakamasungit ngunit pinaka-under na ama kay Papadad.

“Okay, I’ll let Ehann accompany you—”

“No, no, no, Daddy! I have my own car. I can drive myself.” Ano pa ba ang silbi no’ng lahat ng natutunan ko kay Zhuri kung hindi ko gagamitin?

“Zenver,”

“Please, daddy! Please!”

Uubusin ko talaga lahat ng paawa ko rito kay Daddy ngayon! Nakatanggap kasi ako ng text galing sa aking kaibigan, who’s the owner of the bar, na aking pupuntahan ngayon na nando’n daw sa bar niya si Ezequil… Ezequil Suldua! Our family’s mortal enemy! That brute! Papaluhurin ko ’yon! And I’ll bring success in this clan too! At iyang mga Suldua ang gagamitin ko.

“Zenver—”

“Love? Oh, Zen?” Dahil sa pagsingit ni Papadad. Naputol ang kung anuman ang sasabihin ni Dad.

Kinalas ko ang yakap ko kay Daddy at pareho kaming nakatingin kay Papadad.

Oh! Nakaroba lang din si Papadad pero pansin ko ang mga pulang marka sa kanyang leeg! Oh, ever lovely parents. Balak pa yatang dagdagan ang anim na anak! Baka gusto nila ng isang dosena. Nahiya pa itong ama ko, eh!

Nilapitan ni Daddy si Papadad at humalik sa noo. My parents may not be perfect and have had their rough past, but seeing how in love they are after all these years makes me wonder if I, too, can find this kind of affection and admiration for someone.

Every time I witness my father’s love for my Papadad, it reminds me that this kind of love is rare nowadays—especially in a time when cheating and infidelity are becoming common. Hindi naman sana uso na kailangang sabayan iyon pero ang dami ng tao ang gumawa.

“Saan ka pupunta, Zen? It’s so late na, anak.” si Papadad at yumakap sa katawan ni Daddy.

See? Kahit saan sila ilagay o sa kahit anong sitwasyon, ganito ang parents ko, ang sweet nila kahit may katandaan na! Ako na tumatanda, ito hindi pa nakakapag-boyfriend!

Hmp! Dapat si Zyrho at Zhuri ang sisihin ko nito, eh. Kasi dati no’ng nags-school kami tinataboy nila ang mga lalaking gustong lumapit sa akin. Ngayon na gustong-gusto ko na magboyfriend. Wala na! Tatanda akong mag-isa nito! Oh, well, kasama ko si Zhuri na tatandang dalaga! Sa maldita at sungit na iyon ni Zhuri, alam ko hindi rin iyon magkakaroon ng asawa! She’s just too… too masungit!

“Sa bar lang, papadad. Iinom.”

“May maraming alak sa baba, anak.”

Sumimangot ako. “I’m a big princess na, Papadad.”

Nilapitan ko ang dalawang magulang at nagpa-awa ng todo! Puppy eyes kung puppy eyes.

“Hay, malaki ka na nga at mas lalo akong nangangamba para sa’yo, Zen.” si Papadad.

“Papadad, I’m careful, okay? Besides, I won’t spread my legs to any guys!”

Napasinghap si Papadad sa wordings ko.

Nagkatinginan ang dalawa kong magulang. Takot lang silang mabuntis ako dahil may treat ako na kagaya no’ng kay Papadad. I’m a bearer, which means I am capable of conceiving a baby.

“Fine, pero huwag iinom ng hindi kaya sa katawan, Zen, at—”

“Thank you, Daddy! Thank you, Papadad! I love you!” Putol ko na kay Daddy dahil baka magbago pa ang isip.

Mabilis akong bumaba ng hagdanan.

“Zen, mag-ingat ka! Kung malasing ka tumawag ka kay Ehann o kahit kay Evren para masundo ka! O alinman dito sa bahay para masundo ka!”

“Got it, Papadad!” At nag-flying kiss ako sa aking mga magulang!

Pagkasakay ko sa aking kotse ay nakatanggap ako ng text kay Milan, my girl best friend na owner no’ng bar.

‘Where are you, bruja? Nandito na si Ezequil.’

‘On the way, I was caught by my dad sneaking out!’

‘Deserved! Anyway, ang dami ng girls ni Ezequil dito. Ewan ko kung papaano ka sisingit sa pila!’

I raised my eyebrows.

‘Bruja, do you think I’ll join the queue? I’ll cut the queue!’

‘Wanna see you try!’

I smirked before starting my car.

Humingang malalim ako bago inapak ang paa sa baitang papasok sa loob ng bar. Sa hagdanan pa lang ay dim na ang ilaw at kahit papasok ako, naririnig ko na ang mga sigawan ng tao at ang malakas na music. Malapit na rin mag- 12pm kaya siguro may tama na ang mga tao.

I squinted as the strobe lights flickered and flashed, casting sharp beams into my eyes. The swirling disco balls and vibrant lights spun wildly, painting a kaleidoscope of colors that seemed to dance before me in a hypnotic rhythm.

May apat na baitang tungo sa dance floor pero sa kanan ko ay nandon din ang isang hagdanan na gawa sa bakal at patungo iyon sa mga VIP seats.

A beep from my shoulder bag pulled my attention away from the sea of people. I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone. Milan’s text flashed on the lock screen.

‘VIP seats, west wing.’

Pagkatapos kong basahin iyon muli kong sinilid sa aking bag ang telepono at tinahak ang daan pakanluran.

“Bruja!”

Nilingon ko si Milan na sumulpot mula sa likod ko. She handed me a glass of alcohol.

“Pampalakas loob!”

Inilingan ko siya. “Kanina pa siya? May kasama?”

“Nope! He’s alone but girls flock around him.”

Tsk! May hitsura kasi kaya dinudumog din!

“Gusto mong samahan kita sa pwesto niya? Or…”

“Kaya ko na, bruja.” Pagtatagpos ko kay Milan.

“Be careful, bruja. No to…”

“Spreading of legs!”

Natawa si Milan bago tinapik ang balikat ko.

Isang malalim na hininga ang aking pinakawalan bago nagmartsa tungo sa table ni Ezequil. Hinigpitan ko ang hawak ko sa aking baso nang makita ko ang apat na babae na kasama niya. Dalawa sa kanan, dalawa sa kaliwa! Ang lalaki naman ay nakasandal sa sofa na kinalang kinauupuan. Ang braso ng lalaki ay nasa sandalan ng sofa at bahagyang nakahiwalay sa isa’t isa ang binti niya.

Ezequil Suldua was clad in a white long-sleeved shirt, rolled up to his elbows, with the top four buttons deliberately left undone, revealing a glimpse of his broad chest. His trousers stretched to cover his long legs, and I tried to ignore how his masculinity pressed against the fabric.

I took a seat on the sofa directly across from where Ezequil was. Despite the music and the hum of voices around us, Ezequil’s deep, baritone voice still reached my ears.

I brought the rim of my glass to my lips as my eyes discreetly observed Ezequil across from me. I watched as one of the girls cupped his chin before delivering a wild kiss to him.

I was enjoying the view and my drink when Ezequil’s eyes locked on mine, even as the girl’s lips lingered on his. I grinned at him. Binaba ko ng konti ang aking baso bago dinilaan ang aking labi habang ang mata ko ay hindi tinatanggal kay Ezequil.

“One, two, thr—” Hindi ako nakatapos sa aking munting pagbibilang nang itulak ni Ezequil ang babaeng kahalikan at sunod na tinaboy ang mga babaeng kasama niya.

I straightened my back before sauntering slowly toward Ezequil.

I felt proud as his eyes scrutinized my body. Ezequil licked his lips.

Tumayo ako sa pagitan ng hita niya at inilayo ko ang mga iyon sa isa’t isa. Biglang hinila ni Ezequil ang kamay ko dahilan para matapon ang aking inumin sa kanyang puting long sleeves. Umawang ang labi ko nang ang pulang alak ko ay kumalat sa kanyang damit!

Gosh! This is not part of the plan—

“Ouch!” Ang daing ko nang hilahin niya akong muli tungo sa kanyang kandungan.

I fell helplessly on his lap!

“Let go of me you, idiot!” Pagmumumiglas ko sa hawak ni Ezequil ngunit tinanday niya ang malaking binti sa aking hita. Sasampalin ko na sana siya nang mahawakan niya ang kamay ko!

“What is the Maranzano princess doing in a place like this?” he asked, his jaw clenching.

“Uminom! Nag-enjoy!”

“Really?” he mocked, raising his eyebrows. “Do Zhuri and Zyrho know?”

“I’m old enough! I don’t need their permission…”

“You’re the Maranzano clan’s most… most precious princess, Zen.” I hate how my name rolls off his tongue.

“And you’re your clan’s heiress.”

“We’re rivals. Our family names cannot be together. So what are you doing here, Maranzano? What are you planning?”

Sinubukan kong bawiin ng akong kamay mula sa kanya kaso malakas siya! Marunong akong makipaglaban at bumaril pero sadyang malakas lang si Ezequil at mas malaki sa akin!

“I’m here to drink!”

“Do you think I’ll buy that when you show up here and try to seduce me?”

“Excuse me?!”

“Excuse you, my queen,” Ezequil grinned.

“Let go of me!” Angal ko sa kanya.

A sly grinned crossed his face.

“I don’t want to. You just brought yourself to the tiger’s den, and there’s no turning back, Maranzano.” Ezequil said, angling his head to kiss me, but I dodged, so his lips landed on my jaw.

“Sorry, Suldua. Hindi ako nagpapahalik sa lalaking hinalikan na ng babae sa harapan ko.” saad ko bago binaba ang mukha sa kanyang exposed na dibdib at dinilaan ko ang balat niya doon na natapunan ng alak ko.

At namalayan ko na lang na binitbit na ako ni Ezequil palabas ng bar ni Milan! The heck! I won’t spread my legs for him!  

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CHAPTER 1

Chapter 1

I won’t spread my legs for him!

Kahit naman kanino ay hinding-hindi ko talaga ibubuka ang hita ko! Nino man ay hinding-hindi! Unless, kapag asawa ko na o boyfriend ko.

Mariin kong pinikit ang aking mga mata. Biglang pumasok sa isip ko ang laging mga paalala ni Papa Owell sa akin. Mentor ko kasi si Papa Owell when it comes to the art of seduction! Kidding aside!

“Maganda ka, Zen, tulad ko. Mana ang beauty mo sa akin kaya hinding-hindi mo ibubuka ang hita mo sa kahit na sinong lalaki!”

“Maranzano ka, Zen, maganda, at matalino. Kaya dapat gamitin ang utak hindi ang libog! Okay lang lumandi basta hindi ibubuka ang hita. Hinding-hindi tutuwad at magpapaputok sa loob!”

“Huwag kang gagaya sa Papadad mo na konting haplos lang ni Maranzanong Tunay ay nako, tumuwad na! Iba pa naman ang mga lahi ninyo!”

Actually, ang tinutukoy ni Papa Owell na Maranzanong Tunay ay si Daddy Tyson— si Tyson Greg Maranzano. Ang dating Mafia Lord ay ginaganyan lang ni Papa Owell. Papa Owell was just lucky that my dad has a lot of patience and showed mercy on him. Kung ibang tao na iyon ay baka matagal nang hindi nakakapag-hunting ng lalaki si papa Owell.

Kawawa ang Papa Owell ko, mga boys pa naman ang mga kasiyahan niya! Syempre kami rin na mga inaanak niya!

“Zen, umuwi kaagad ng bahay.”

“Huwag kang sasama sa kahit na sinong lalaki ha?”

“Huwag kang maniniwala sa mga mabubulaklak na mga sinasabi ng mga lalaki, Zen.”

“Tumawag ka sa bahay kapag tingin mo nalalasing ka na, Zen.”

Bigla namang bumulong sa isip ko ang mga paalala ni Papadad. My Papadad, Cassidy Barromeo-Maranzano, was the best for me. Papadad was beautiful, kind, and forgiving. Now that I’ve started to realize and understand the things happening around us, a thought hit me—my Daddy was the complete opposite of my Papadad. Tyson Greg was merciless, cold, and an ill-tempered ruffian.

However, when my Daddy was with Papadad, it seemed like he transformed into a different man. With Papadad, he became a loving and doting husband and a good father to us.

“I actually have a car parked nearby…” My words were cut short when Ezequil slapped my butt, leaving a stinging sensation on my cheek!

Oh my! Ni hindi ako pinagbubuhatan ng kamay ng Mafia Lord kong ama, tapos siya…? What a thick-faced bastard!

I made a face! Ah ganon pala ha!

Bigla kong pinagpapatid ang paa ko at sinuntok ang likod ni Ezequil. With all my strength and the force I could muster, I put everything into every punch I threw at Ezequil’s wide back! But to my dismay, he didn’t even flinch or complain about my punches. Masyadong matigas ang katawan ni Ezequil at siguro immune na rin.

“Put me down, you obnoxious scoundrel!” I shouted, my voice echoing off the walls of the basement.

“Titigil ka sa pagwawala mo o mapapalo na naman kita, Zen!”

I just smirked and was about to reach for Ezequil’s neck to strangle him when he suddenly dropped me onto a car hood, trapping my legs with his freaking muscular legs! Dammit!

Bakit ba ang laki ng taong ito?! Magkasing-edad lang naman kami ah! Bakit halos triplehin na ng katawan niya ang laki ko?! God!

God, Zen! You should carve it into your mind that you’re a bearer. You carry the trait— the X-linked trait that causes my body to grow just like a woman’s. Like Papadad, para lang kaming pinanganak na lalaki pero ang characteristics ng aming katawan ay sa babae. That’s why most of the bearers have a woman-like body.

Tumaas-baba ang balikat ko dahil hiningal ako sa ginawa kong pagwawala kaso nauwi rin naman ako sa pagkaka-trap dito sa ilalim ni Ezequil.

“I thought you wanted me, my queen?”

I almost puked because his words!

Me? Wanting him? Over my drop dead gorgeous body? Maghahabol ako at gusto itong lalaking ito? Come on, I’m Maranzano and there’s a lot of fish in the sea that I can catch. Pero sa mga isdang iyon ay wala itong si Suldua! Ayaw ko nga sa kanya!

Tsk! Kung hindi lang dahil sa kagustuhan kong makaambag din kay Kuya Zy at Zhuri, hindi ko ito gagawin. Hindi ko ibabalandra itong maganda kong pagkatao kay Ezequil. Takot ko lang kay Papadad at Daddy.

Dahil sa maliwanag na ilaw ng basement kitang-kita ko ang pamumula ng dibdib ni Ezequil. May mantsa na rin ang kanyang long sleeves kaso gwapo rin talaga ito. Parang kahit nga basahan ipasuot dito ay gwapo pa rin. Matitiis ko ang lalaking ito dahil gwapo siya.

“I…” Nahihirapan akong sagutin siya. “I don’t want you, Suldua.”

He shook his head and laughed, his masculine and deep-rooted voice echoing through the entire basement.

Bawiin mo, Zen! May plano ka pang bakla ka! Para ka namang hindi na-train ng Papa Owell! Si Papadad kasi puro kabutihan lang tinuturo. Kaya naman sa mga ganitong bagay ay si Papa Owell na ang nagtuturo sa akin. Tingnan mo, sa landi ni Papa Owell, hanggang ngayon single pa rin. Aniya’y kutang-kuta na rin siya sa amin. Kutang-kuta na sa dami ng sperm sa bahay!

““I… I mean, I want you.” Eww! “I want you, but… I’m not referring to having sex with you. I just want to spend time with you,” I said seductively, surrendering myself. Gusto kong masuka.

Kinuha ko ang kamay ko mula sa kanyang pagkakahawak at saka ko hinaplos ang kanyang umiigting na panga! Wow! I mean, eww!

Kahit na anong gwapo ng mukha nitong lalaki na ’to, walang hita na bubuka, Zen. Mapapatay ka ng Daddy mo at Papadad mo. Ayaw kong magalit si Tyson Greg Maranzano, baka bawiin niya ang pink house ko, pink, cars, and pink guns!

“You… you want to spend time with me?” He uttered in a guttural manner.

“Yes,” para sa plano ko.

“We’re enemies.”

I almost rolled my eyes, but thankfully, I managed to hold myself back.

“Your father and my father are rivals. Zyrho and I are rivals…”

“But we’re not rivals,” I point out.

Syempre, nagkikita naman kami nitong Suldua na ’to sa mga social gatherings. Hindi lang talaga kami lumalapit sa isa’t isa dahil baka sa isang iglap halik  nasa sentido namin ang baril.

I saw him sigh and loosen his grip on my other wrist. Nang makalaya na ang dalawang kamay ko ay bumangon ako mula sa pagkakahiga ko rito sa hood ng kotse. Kaso nanatiling magkalayo ang hita niya sa isa’t isa at pagitan no’n ay ang legs ko, trapping me.

“Can I get your number?” Matapang kong saad na halos kinasamid niya sa kanyang laway.

Ezequil scoffed.

“What will you do with my number?” He stepped back before taking the space beside me. He holds his neck and flexes his neck to the other side. Veins on his hands were evident!

“We will be textmates from now on. You tell me kung kailan ka susunod na lalabas.”

Napabaling siya sa akin at natatawa.

“Are you serious? Wala ka bang makausap kaya ako ang tripping mo ngayon? Come on, Maranzano. What… do you want?” His jaws ticked!

“Just wanna have someone to mess up with.” I shrugged. Alangan naman na sabihin ko sa kanya na gusto ko siyang gamitin para sa sarili kong interes? Malamang ay tututukan na ako nito ng baril ngayon! Though mas matatakot ako kapag itong baril siya ngayon ang itututok niya sa akin. Kidding!

Napahagikhik naman ako sa sarili kong naisip.

Ezequil let out another weary sigh, running his fingers through his hair. Pinaghiwalay niya ang kanyang malalaki at mahabang biyas.

It really didn’t occur to me that Ezequil was this huge of a man until now. I mean, I’ve seen him many times, but we never had an interaction as close as this until now. At ngayon na magkatabi ang aming hita sa isa’t isa, parang ti-triple-in nito ang laki ng hita ko. Also, he was so tall! Hanggang kili-kili niya lang yata ako!

My eyes traveled to his upper extremities, and I noticed the stain of wine on his white long sleeves. He reeked of alcohol, but the minty, alpine-like scent dominating my senses overpowered it.

“Are you drunk?” he asked after a moment of silence.

I had been shamelessly staring at him, and when he turned his gaze at me, he arched an eyebrow.

I rummaged through my purse for my phone.

“Your number. Also, send me your social media,” I said.

He laughed—a deep, manly, guttural sound. Damn!

“When I heard the Maranzanos calling you ‘princess,’ I thought it was just a nickname. But you really do act like one.”

Binaba ko ang aking kamay na may hawak na phone.

“Why?” Takang tanong ko sa kanya at halos mag-isa na ang kilay ko.

He chuckled. Even his mere chuckle and laugh sound like dollars! Well, baka naninibago lang ako kasi sa bahay namin si Kuya Zy soft spoken iyon lalo na kapag kasama namin si Papadad. Si Daddy naman… lagi iyong nagpapalambing kay Papadad. Malalamig na tao at parang distant sila Daddy at Kuya Zy kaso parang may sanib kapag kasama namin si Papadad, nagiging anghel sila. Tapos sina Ehann at Evren wala lagi sa bahay.

“Coz you’re like this, Maranzano.”

“Like… this?”

“Hmm! Demanding at tingin mo lahat makukuha mo. Tingin mo lahat ng gusto mo. Kaya mong makuha.”

I smirked at him, crossing my arms defiantly over my chest. Ezequil met my gaze with an equally intense glare, his eyes burning with unspoken challenge.

“Nakukuha ko naman talaga ang lahat ng gusto ko.” May pagmamalaki kong sabi sa kanya.

“P’wes ako, hindi mo makukuha.” May hamon niyang sabi.

“Excuse me?” Muntik na akong masuka sa kanya ha. Ang feeling naman pala nitong Suldua na ’to!

Ngayon lang kami nagkakausap ng ganito ka casual at walang tension. Hindi ko alam kung may dala ba siyang baril o ano pero hindi ako natatakot na tutukan niya ako ng baril. Tsk! Kaya ko rin naman siyang barilin.

“I just want your number, okay? Kung ayaw mo. Okay, fine!” Suko ko.

Inayos ko ang suot ko at sinuklay-suklay ko ang aking buhok. Bumuntong hininga ako. Mukhang wala talaga akong mapapala sa lalaking ito. Walang silbi! What if itumba ko na lang ’to? Hmp! Hahanap pa ako ng malaking gulo sa organisasyon.

I was about to stand when my phone vibrated. Kaagad ko itong tiningnan.

Milan: bruja, nagtext sa akin si Tita Cass if nandito ka pa ba sa bar. nasaan ka? hindi kita mahanap sa pwesto mo kanina. also, tinatanong ni Tita if you’re drunk ba raw para masundo ka ni Evren.

Matapos kong basahin ang mensahe ni Milan ay magt-type na sana ako ng reply ko kaso lang biglang nagsalita sa tabi ko si Ezequil.

“You can’t drive? Ilang baso ang nainom mo?”

Sumama ang mukha ko sa kanya. “Paki mo?” sabi ko at nagreply kay Milan.

Ako: pauwi na ako. i’ll text my Papadad na lang, bruja. ty!

Tumayo ako at aalis na sana nang biglang hulihin ni Ezequil ang wrist ko. Biglang uminit ulo ko sa kanya. Gusto ko lang ng number niya pero pakipot siya sa akin. Tapos ngayon, pipigilan niya ako?

“What?”

Kung ayaw niya ibigay ang number niya sa akin hahanap ako ng ibang paraan!

“Where’s your car?”

“…” Tumaas ang kilay ko sa kanya.

“Nasaan?” sunod niyang tanong.

Winaksi ko ang kamay niya at tinuro ang kotse ko na kulay pink.

“Prfft!”

“May nakakatuwa?” Sarkastiko kong wika sa kanya.

Umiling siya.

“You really love pink?” aniya at napatingin sa hawak kong phone na kulay pink din.

“Yes, mawala na lang ang lahat ng kulay huwag lang ang favorite color ko.”

“I don’t like pink.”

Sumama ang mukha ko sa kanya. Ano ’tong pakulo niya ngayon?

“Pakielam ko?” Taas kilay kong untag.

“I like black.”

“Tinanong ba kita? Share mo lang?” Pagtataray ko sa kanya.

Umigting ang panga niya at bigla itong tumayo. Humakbang siya palapit sa akin pero hindi ako umatras. Apakan ko pa siya sa heels nitong suot kong heels! Akala naman nito aatrasan ko siya.

I almost jumped when I felt his fingers run along my arm, giving me a light stroke down to my palm. Then, he took my phone.

My forehead creased as I watched him manipulate my phone. After a while, he handed it back to me.

“I already wrote my number in your notes. Now…” He stepped closer until our bodies touched. Dahil ayaw kong umatras muntik na akong matumba kaso mabilis ang galaw ng kamay niya at umangkla kaagad ang braso niya sa baywang ko, keeping me still.

“Ezequil,” diin kong sambit.

“I’m looking forward to seeing how you’re going to mess with me, Maranzano.”

Nagkatinginan kami ni Ezequil mata sa mata. I don’t know. I can’t comprehend how those deep ocean eyes look at me. It’s as if they’re calling danger, making every strand of hair on my body stand. But I won’t back down! I’m a Maranzano!

“Brixx Ezequil Suldua.”

“Zenith Vernizz Maranzano.”

We said in unison as our eyes locked onto each other. Our voices were laced with danger, sending an unknown signal of the forthcoming disaster.

---

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CHAPTER 2

Chapter 2

“Anong oras ka nakauwi kagabi?”

Bumaba ako for breakfast at naabutan ko si Zhuri na kumakain din. Really, may kanya-kanya kaming mga bahay pero tingin ko hindi namin magagamit dahil gusto ni Papadad na rito lang kami. Unless siguro kapag mag-aasawa na.

“Papadad, were so worried dahil gabing-gabi na nang umalis ka.” Pahabol ni Zhu.

I pulled out a chair for myself and carefully served a portion of rice onto my plate. “Hindi naman ako nagtagal sa labas, Zhu. Nagkita lang kami ni Milan.”

“Sa bar niya?”

“Hmm!”

Kumalampag ang utensils ni Zhuri kaya naman inangat ko ang tingin ko sa kanya.

“I was there last night.”

My hands shook!

What? Nando’n siya? Nakita niya ba ako?

Shit!

“Really? I didn’t see you.”

“Hindi siguro tayo nag-abot. Next time huwag kang lalabas na sobrang lalim na ng gabi. Hindi nakakatulog si Papadad.”

Ngumuso ako. “Uhmm!”

Iyong pag-aalala ni Papadad sa akin ay hindi na nakaka-prinsesa. I’m old enough to stand on my own, but I can’t shake the feeling that they still see me as a fragile, childlike Zenver-someone to protect, not someone to trust with real weight.

“Anyways, wala ka bang gagawin this weekend?”

“Why?” Kumuha ako ng ulam.

“May business conference. Hindi ako pwede kasi may medical mission kami. Then, Zyrho can’t either because of his personal itinerary.” sabi ni Zhuri na para bang ang sama-sama ng araw niya kahit na umaga pa naman. Laging nakakunot ang noo at parang laging may kaaway. Nagiging anghel lang ’yang si Zhuri sa harap ni Papadad. Kumbaga nagiging soft girl siya whenever Papadad was around.

“Oh, really? Saan naman?” Interesanting tanong ko. Kahit saan pa ’yan basta para sa family namin ay pupuntahan ko iyan. I will do everything for this family.

“Sa Palawan.”

Nanlaki ang mata ko. “Talaga? When ito? Ako lang ba pupunta o kasama ko sina Ehann?”

“Busy sila Ehann sa Gamma Es. Mukhang naghahanda na sila for the company’s annual event.”

My forehead creased. “Matagal pa iyon.”

“Pinaghahandaan lang since malaki ang event.”

“May list na ng mga partners?”

“I think meron na, but I’m not sure. I’ve just been so busy at the hospital.”

I know how busy she was, halos doon na nga ito matulog sa ospital. Parang umuuwi lang siya kapag nais ni Papadad na kumain kaming lahat. Parang suminghot lang siya rito sa bahay tapos lipad na naman sa ospital o kung hindi naman nasa underground organization ang mukha ni Zhuri. Sa bar din since malakas siya uminom. And because of that, I haven’t heard of her having anyone or dating anyone. I mean, Zhuri is a very gorgeous woman. A lot of men tried to court her back then, but eventually, none of them appealed to her.

“I’ll go.” Tumingin siya sa kanyang wrist watch. “Just tell Papadad na nauna na ako.”

“Hmm! Ingat, Zhu.”

“You too, Zen.”

“Dito lang naman ako sa bahay.”

Sumama ang mukha niya.

Umiling ako. Edi ako na ang halata na lakwatsera- responsableng lakwatsera! I don’t personally manage our businesses, but I do know how to run one-I earned a degree in Business Administration, majoring in Marketing Management, and have even worked for one of our companies before. Sa underground organization namin, hindi ko talaga alam ang kalakaran nila doon pero sumasama ako sa mga gatherings. Para makainom na rin. Kidding! Pero hindi rin ako nagtagal doon at kahit na nandirito lang ako sa bahay ay araw-araw naman na may pumapasok na pera sa banks ko.

Nang matapos akong kumakain ay naisipan kung pumunta sa aming indoor swimming pool. I wore a vibrant pink swimsuit, with my laptop tucked under one arm and my cellphone in hand-ready for both relaxation and a bit of work on the go.

Dahil ayaw ko munang magtampisaw ay umupo muna ako sa isang lounger na nasa gilid ng pool. I saw Zhuri’s email-that’s why I opened it. It was about the business conference she had been talking about in Palawan.

I was about to go for a swim when my phone vibrated. I checked it and saw that Milan was calling.

“Bruja!” my best friend exclaimed, her voice echoing across the entire swimming area.

“What?”

Milan raised an eyebrow at me, her judging eyes scanning my face through the screen.

“Mags-swimming ka?” Gulat niyang sabi.

“Yeah,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“You’re not drunk ba from last night? Bigla kang nawala! Hindi kita nabantayan!” Pagalit niya pang sabi sa akin.

“Bruja, I’m not a child naman na babantayan mo!”

“Even if! Sa akin ka kasi hinahanap nila Tita Cass. Hindi mo talaga alam kung anong klaseng kaba ang nararamdaman ko kapag tumatawag o nagt-text sa akin ang parents mo!”

I laughed. Milan doesn’t really know what my family is. Ang alam niya lang mayaman at maimpluwensya ang family namin. Milan met my family a long time ago, which is why they kind of know her. At alam din naman ng family ko na si Milan lang din ang true and only best friend ko. I know a lot of people-I mean, I can call myself a social butterfly-but Milan was a special case. She’s so close to my heart!

“Mmm!” Tumango ako pero natatawa. “Sorry na.”

“Wala nang next time, ’no! Hindi ko na sasabihin sa’yo kapag nakita ko si Ezequil dito sa bar!”

“You’re so harsh naman akin, bruja!”

“Talaga lang! Ayaw ko lang na mag-alala rin sila Tita Cass ’no! Saka… are you really sure of your plan, bruja?”

“Of course,” I purred.

“Bruja, that’s your family rival! What if malaman ito ng family mo? Nang mga kapatid mo?”

Hindi alam ni Milan kung anong organisasyon meron ang family ko at ni Ezequil. Ang alam niya lang may hidwaan na talaga sa mga Maranzano at mga Suldua.

“Ikaw at ako lang ang nakakaalam sa plano, Milan. And I know what I’m doing. Kung sa tingin ko wala talagang patutunguhan ito, titigil ako.”

Agitation and doubt were palpable in Milan’s eyes as she stood there with me. I know she’s just concerned and worried about me, as siblings often are. But I still want to give it a shot. Zhuri and Zyrho may not share what’s happening in the organization, but I overheard them talking about the Sulduas-their weaknesses. We need to exploit those weaknesses to bring them down and prevent them from interfering in our business. From what I know, the Sulduas have already been a nuisance to our family, and we must eliminate them without breaking the organization’s laws.

“You know where my fears are coming from, Zen.”

I smiled, reassuring her. “I know, Milan. I know.”

Protective ang family ko sa akin dahil may condition ako na tulad sa aming Papadad. But other than that, they’re also extra protective of me because I was once kidnapped! It happened a long time ago, but it haunted my family, especially my parents. We were in our last year of elementary school at the time. The school had a camping trip, and we were encouraged to join. Unfortunately, during that camping trip, I was kidnapped-I was the only one taken because I got separated from Zhuri and Zyrho. I was kidnapped for ransom, but I was rescued by Daddy’s people. And I doubt those people are still alive today, knowing my Daddy.

“Anyways, why don’t you join me sa swimming ko. I’m so lonely here, oh.” Inikot ko pa ang aking phone.

“Sige na nga! Pupunta ako d’yan!”

True enough, Milan arrived at our house just minutes after our call!

“Dapat nagsasabi ka sa mga plano mo na ganito. Hindi iyong ina-ambush mo ako.” She ranted angrily, stripping off her dress with a swift motion, revealing her sleek two-piece bikini underneath. Milan stormed toward the pool, her frustration bubbling over, before diving in with a splash. She emerged moments later, her strokes cutting through the water with precision, the coolness of the pool offering some relief from her heated emotions.

“Kapag kasi sinasabi ko sa’yo hindi natutuloy. Mabuti na itong ganito.” sagot ko na sa kanya nang makaahon siya.

Tumawa siya. “Right! Sa weekend baka gusto mo mag-Maldives tayo. I’ll free my sched na kaagad if you want.”

“Heh! I’m not available!”

“What?” Naghilamos siya sa kanyang mukha.

Bumaba ako sa pool.

“I’m not available nga sa weekend.”

“Oh, that’s new. Saan ka pupunta?”

“Proxi ako ni Zhuri, she can’t come kasi sa business conference sa Palawan kaya ako ang pupunta.”

Tumango-tango si Milan at saka ako hinila. We talked about things and made plans for our next little getaway after my business conference in Palawan.

“Wait, di ba may property naman kayo sa Palawan?”

I nodded. “Gusto mo pumunta roon? You can stay there naman. Kaso hindi kasi doon ang venue ng conference, sa ibang isla.”

“Sayang naman. Next time na lang ulit tayo mag-Palawan. Let’s bring our other friends.”

“Hmm! It would be fun.”

Umahon din kami ni Milan sa pool nang dumating ang aming foods.

““You know what, Zen, you don’t have to prove yourself to your family. They love you, and what matters to them is you-yourself, your safety,” Milan stated as we devoured the food between us. Our feet were still soaked from the pool, and towels hung over our shoulders.

What Milan said might sound comforting to some, but to me, it didn’t. It felt like belonging to a powerful enemy, but being the only one who’s weak. Iyong pakiramdam na malakas nga pamilya namin pero ako mismo walang ambag. Sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam. That’s why I’m an easy target for our enemies - because I’m weak. But I want to prove them wrong. Gusto ko rin na kagaya ako ni Zhuri at ni Kuya Zyrho. Their mere presence screams autonomy and power, making everyone fear them.

“Gagamitin mo si Ezequil para may mapatunayan ka sa pamilya mo. But, Zen, we knew Ezequil’s reputation. He is a womanizer, and he treats women like toys. Once he loses interest in them, he throws them away like they’re nothing.”

I glanced at Milan, who was watching me. “Wala ka bang believe sa akin?”

She sneered. “You don’t have experience with men.”

“And Ezekiel would be a good experience for me.”

Milan sighed, reminded of her defeat.

“Okay, I’m done with this discussion of ours. Basta kapag tingin mo, bruja, dehado ka na sa plano mo. Bumitiw ka na kaagad. Baka ma-fall ka pa roon!”

I shot my best friend a glare filled with disgust, it could’ve frozen the air between us.

“Really? Ako? Maf-fall doon? Never!”

---

Papadad protests when he learns that I’m going to be away! The trauma of me being held by some goons still haunts my Papadad, even after all these years! But thankfully, Daddy calmed him down and assured him that I’ll be fine and safe when I return home.

Before my departure, I received a message from Kuya Zy as well.

“Be careful, Zen. Call me if something feels off with the conference.”

“Got it, Kuya Zy.”

“I love you, Zen.”

“I know, Kuya! Love you too!”

Pagkatapos kong isend iyon kay Zy ay sinilid ko na ang aking phone sa aking bag at sumakay sa kotse ni Zhuri! Nakahinga ako nang maluwag doon dahil akala ko papa-angkasin niya ako sa motor niya!

“I heard you plan to stay in Palawan after the conference?” Zhuri asked as the car sped down the road like a blur.

“Hmm,” I hummed, peeking through the car’s window.

“I’ll inform Tita Aileen and Tita Gretel.”

“There’s no need, Zhu. Ako na tatawag kina Tita.”

We own a helicopter, a private jet, and a luxury yacht-yet for some inexplicable reason, I found myself choosing to travel by a local ship. It’s a decision that defies all logic, but perhaps there’s a certain charm to embracing the simpler, slower journey this time.

“Take care, and don’t hesitate to call us whenever you need us.”

“I will, Zhuri!”

Zhuri rolled her eyes and watched me walk away.

Madilim na nang dumating ako sa isla (kung saan gaganapin iyong conference). There’s a resort nearby and I choose to stay there rather than sa hotel kung saan mismo ang convention center. Alam ko kasi na marami ang dadalo sa conference na ’to and by now baka fully booked na rin ang hotel.

As I approached the front desk, the staff warmly greeted me with friendly smiles and attentive eyes, quickly inquiring about my needs and offering assistance in finding a room for my stay. Ilang days lang din naman ako sa isla na ito since pupunta rin ako sa isla na pagmamay-ari namin.

By the next day, maaga akong dumating sa convention center. I slip into a sharply tailored pink coat, its crisp fabric perfectly complementing my polished look. Maraming tao sa hall nang dumating ako kaya sa bandang likod na ako nakaupo.

The conference was held in a high-end convention center, with the theme of today’s event being “Philippine Hospitality Summit 202*,” now one of the most prestigious business conferences. The event was attended by numerous entrepreneurs, including hotel owners, investors, marketing executives, and tech innovators from the hospitality industry.

My eyes darted on the huge screen in front. “Expounding Guest Experience in the Digital Age,” I mentally read.

“Let’s begin this session with a question for our panel: With the rise of AI and contactless tech, how can hotels strike a balance between automation and the ‘human touch’ that defines hospitality?” The moderator narrated.

While listening to the talk, I can’t help but feel something odd. I recognize some of the faces in the convention hall, yet I sense eyes on me. The weight of the stare feels like a log resting on my shoulder.

Lumingon ako at wala naman, normal lang namang nakikinig ang mga tao sa likod ko. I roamed my eyes around. Most people were minding their own business, exchanging a few courteous nods and brief smiles.

I don’t know if I’m just paranoid, but ever since I stepped foot inside the convention, I’ve felt a pair of eyes watching me. I tried to ignore it and act like nothing was wrong, but as the minutes passed, the stare grew bolder!

Hapon na nang matapos ang unang araw ng convention. Hindi muna ako umuwi sa hotel kung saan ako tumutuloy at naisipan kong maglakad-lakad sa lugar.

Nakataas hanggang sa tuhod ko ang aking slacks, ang coat ko naman ay hinubad ko kaya naiwan na lang ang aking puting inner shirt at ang aking sapatos ay nasa kabilang kamay ko.

I fumbled through the pocket of my coat, my fingers grazing the familiar outline of my phone as I struggled to get a perfect shot of the fiery orange sunset. Just as I was about to capture the moment, when someone had grabbed my shoes off my hand! Instinct took over, and without thinking, I whipped around, launching a punch and a swift kick toward the thief. But before either could land, my attack was intercepted. That’s when it hit me-standing there, grinning with that all-too-familiar mischievous glint in his eyes, was none other than Brixx Ezequil Suldua!

“What the hell?!” I shouted, yanking my fist away from his grip and snatching my shoes back from him.

Anong ginagawa ng taong ito rito? Bakit nandito siya?! Tiningnan ko siya. His white and navy-blue long sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, the buttons deliberately undone, revealing his broad chest. His black slacks had been washed by the saltwater from the short waves crashing on the shore.

“Hi, my queen!” he said, his eyebrows waggling at me.

I almost gagged at his playful remark.

“Excuse me, you obnoxious scoundrel!” I shrugged him off, but he grabbed my arms.

“Not so fast, my queen.”

Nairita ako. “Tigilan mo nga kaka-queen sa akin?”

He just grinned.

“Why didn’t you text me? I thought you were going to mess with me.”

Napatawa ako. “Aha, so you’re anticipating my text?”

“Not that I’m anticipating it. Nais ko lang makita kong papaano ako guguluhin ng isang… Maranzano. I wanna see you try, Maranzano.”

“Are you challenging me?” I asked, my voice steady.

“Let’s see if you can infiltrate my defiance, my queen,” he smirked.

I was about to retaliate when a sharp voice sliced through the tension between us.

“Brixx Ezequil!”

“Fuck!” Ezequil cursed under his breath.

Hindi ko nasundan ang kanyang ginawa nang agawan niya sa akin ang aking coat at sapatos bago hinila ang wrist ko at tumakbo na kami! I’m not sure what’s going on, but right now, we’re sprinting wildly along the seashore, the golden hues of the setting sun casting long shadows before us, as the waves crash softly at our feet.

---

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CHAPTER 3

Chapter 3

‘You’re such an idiot, gorgeous Zenith Vernizz!’ I scolded myself, my feet sinking into the soft, reluctant sand with every desperate stride. Each step I took was long and frantic, a futile attempt to match Ezequil’s effortlessly wide pace.

The salty wind lashed against my face, sharp and stinging, while the cold air clung to my skin like icy claws. I wasn’t watching the path ahead-I couldn’t. My eyes were locked on Ezequil’s hair, wild and free, dancing through the wind like flames in a storm. Together, we charged into the gusts, defying their force, running as if the world behind us no longer mattered.

Nagpapasalamat talaga ako sa training at morning routine na hobbies ko dahil nakakatakbo ako ng ganito kabilis at kahaba na hindi nalalagutan ng hininga.

“What the hell is happening, Suldua? Why the heck are we running for our damn lives here?!” May oras pa akong singahalan si Ezequil sa gitna ng aming pagtakbo!

“At saan tayo pupunta?” Masungit kong sabi.

Ezequil turned to me-and would you believe it? The guy actually had the nerve to wink, like we weren’t knee-deep in chaos!

“We’ll be right there.” Nguso niya sa isang bato na nasa dagat.

Parang tanga lang kasi sumunod lang din ako sa lalaking ito! Lumingon ako at hindi ko na maaninag kung sino iyong babae na humababol sa amin.

Parang sumali lang kami sa marathon ni Ezequil sa bilis ng aming takbo. Matapos ng ilang minutong pagtakbo ay basta na lang ako hinila ni Ezequil at niyakap bago siniksik ang katawan sa likod ng isang bato.

Hanggang sa tuhod namin ang dagat kaya nabasa na ang slacks ko. Sinampay ni Ezequil ang coat ko sa kanyang balikat hindi ko alam kung saan niya inipit ang sapatos ko!

“Fuck you!” Hinihingal man ay namura ko pa rin siya!

I clenched my jaw as a jarring realization struck me like a punch to the face-I finally understood the gravity of our situation. Ezequil was leaning against the rock, one strong arm wrapped around my waist, anchoring me close. My hands rested on his broad, rising chest, feeling the shaky rhythm of his breath. His exhale fanned across my skin, a subtle reminder of how much taller he was than me.

“You let go of me!” Masungit kong tulak sa kanya.

“Not yet, queen.” Humigpit ang pagkakaangkla ng kanyang kamay sa baywang ko.

“Excuse me? Ikaw lang ang tinawag no’ng babae kaya bitiwan mo ako!” Oh my god! It’s getting dark already!

The hum of the wind echoed with the rhythm of my breath, while the sea crashed against our legs, blending seamlessly with the symphony of nature.

“She saw I’m with you.”

“Ano naman iyon sa akin-”

“Brixx? Brixx Ezequil!” The woman’s voice sounded strained and furious.

My breath caught in my throat as the woman’s voice drew nearer.

My eyes widened when Ezequil suddenly pushed my head against his chest. The rumbling of his heartbeat vibrated against my cheek. We had sprinted earlier, and though my own chest had already calmed, his heart was still pounding wildly, like it was trying to break free.

I swallowed hard, pulling my face away from his chest. It felt like a sin, listening to his racing heartbeat.

“Wala na siya,” I said.

Lumuwag ang kanyang pagkakayakap sa akin. Tumayo ako nang maayos at saka napatingin sa aming paligid. The dark orange glow of the setting sun framed Ezequil’s angular face, casting shadows that sharpened his already rugged features. He looked every bit the hardened man his demeanor suggested.

We’d spoken a few times before, but I’d never had the chance to study him this closely. His eyebrows were thick and meticulously shaped. His eyes, large and framed by unexpectedly long lashes, held a guarded intensity. Though his pale blue irises were hard to read, the golden-orange hue from the sun lent them an otherworldly shimmer. His nose was strikingly sculpted-sharp, elegant, and unapologetically perfect. And his lips, slightly thin, sat in a line.

I sighed. He’s handsome. Hindi na bago sa akin dahil sa dami ba namang lalaki sa bahay namin at lahat ay nagmana sa aming parents. Cassidy Maranzano and Tyson Maranzano. It’s no wonder because it runs on the genes.

Kaya rin siguro habulin ng babae itong si Ezequil dahil may hitsura talaga. And I hate to admit it but he has a charming smile. Asset niya rin talaga iyon.

“Wait,” I said when I realized something. May tanong pa pala akong gustong itanong sa kanya kaso hindi ko nagawa since bigla niya akong hinila! “What are you doing here? Don’t tell me you’re stalking me?!” I taunted.

A sly smile played on his lips. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I find his lips… sexy-ugh! So much for that Zen. He’s a family rival for crying out loud!

“Do you think I am?” he countered.

Hah. Dodging my question, huh?

“Malay ko. Baka… crush mo ako?” I ridiculed.

He tsked. “I don’t do that crush thing.”

Ulol! Ako pa niloloko nito!

“Hmp! Bakit ba ayaw mo sabihin kung ano ang ginagawa mo rito?” Balik ko sa tanong ko sa kanya.

He shook his head. “Business,”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “You’re invited as well?”

“Of course!”

Tinitigan ko siya. Nang wala na akong maisip na sasabihin sa kanya ay bumuntong hininga ako. Inagaw ko sa kanya ang coat ko. Hindi bagay sa kanya ang pink!

Humampas ang malakas na hangin kaya naman nagulo ang buhok namin.

Biglang pumasok sa isip ko ang mga sinabi ni Milan sa akin. Halos makita ko na sa isip ko ang mukha ni Milan.

May mapapala kaya ako sa lalaking ito? Magtatagumpay kaya ako sa plano ko? Will it be worth a try?

“Where are my shoes?” I asked, extending my hand.

Parang baliw, ngisi nang ngisi sa akin. What if punch that face of him?

Hinugot niya mula sa kanyang likuran ang sapatos ko. Mabilis ko itong kinuha mula sa kanya. Walang sabi akong naglakad palayo sa kanya pero narinig ko naman ang mga bayolente niyang yapak sa tubig sa likod ko.

“Hindi ka rito nag-stay?”

“Yes,”

“Where?”

Muntik nang mawala ang mata ko kakairap. Mabilis ang mga hakbang ko at ito naman ay nakasunod lang sa akin. At kahit na hindi ko siya nakikita, ramdam ko ang kanyang mga titig sa likod ko. His eyes burned into me, scorching like fire, as if they were trying to carve holes straight through my skin.

“Why would I tell you? Para ma-ambush mo ako? Papatayin mo ako pagtulog ko?”

He let out a guttural laugh.

“Ang sama naman ng tingin mo sa akin.”

“Hindi ba?”

Natahimik ito.

“Well… I have no choice.”

Kusang tumigil ang mga paa ko. I glanced back over my shoulder and found him staring blankly at the sand, as if he had drifted away into some far-off place. The cocky, arrogant Ezequil I once knew was nowhere to be found. The mischievous smile that always played at the corners of his lips had vanished, replaced by an unsettling emptiness.

I opened my mouth to speak, but the words were stuck somewhere deep inside me, refusing to come out. Kinuyom ko ang aking kamay at saka tuluyan na siyang iniwan doon.

---

Kakalabas ko lang sa banyo at nagpupunas ako sa aking buhok. Umupo ako sa aking kama. My eyes landed on my phone, which was placed on the nightstand.

I draped the towel over my neck and reached for my phone. Binuksan ko siya at saka pumunta sa notes ng phone ko. I stared at Ezequil’s number. It’s almost a week since binigay niya sa akin ang kanyang number pero hindi ko ito nasi-save sa phone ko.

I’m desperate about my plan, yet there’s a lot running through my mind. At first, I was so eager to get Ezequil’s number, but after I got it, I didn’t follow through with what I had planned. My plan was to flirt with him and use him as my pawn to extract information that would benefit us. However, I’ve become lost in my thoughts and my own agenda. Because, to be honest, I’m afraid too. Afraid that everything I set in motion will backfire on me. Afraid that Ezequil will turn the tables in his favor!

I’m a Maranzano. Our family is known to be strong and influential, but then there’s me-Zenver Maranzano, weak and full of fear. I can mask my fears by being cold and blunt, but when I’m alone, it’s always like this.

Why can’t I be as strong as Kuya Zyrho and Zhuri? Why can’t I be as smart as my siblings?

Papadad always reminds me that I’m smart enough, good enough, but there’s always an invisible string dragging my self-esteem down.

A sudden glow coming from the window struck, followed by the loud sound of thunder! I jumped in my seat, dropping my phone in the process.

Mabilis akong tumayo at saka pumunta sa bintana. Sinara ko ang puting kurtina at umakyat sa aking kama. Siniksik ko ang aking katawan sa headboard.

Night. Lightning. Thunder. The voices of those abductors still ring in my ears! Humiga ako sa kama at saka tinakpan ko ang aking mata gamit ang unan. I silently pray that the thunder and lighting would be over soon!

---

On the last day of the conference, I wore a baby pink long-sleeve shirt, black slacks, and shoes on my feet. Once I was finally satisfied with my look, I descended to the restaurant of the hotel where I was staying to grab breakfast.

I was enduring a headache when I headed down, but it only worsened when I saw a man sitting in a corner! His pale blue eyes locked onto mine, and he immediately waved at me as if we were old friends!

I quickly turned around and headed to the buffet. Shit! Why is he here? Don’t tell me he followed me yesterday?

Dala ang pagkain na kinuha ko ay umupo ako malayo sa kanya. Since maaga pa, konti pa lang ang tao at tahimik. The silence I had been yearning for was immediately interrupted when Ezequil joined me at my table.

Sarap naman isaksak nitong table knife ko sa kanya!

“Good morning, my queen!” he greeted, though it was clear he was teasing me.

Rolling my eyes, I lifted my head to him. “Anong ginagawa mo rito?”

“No good morning at all?” He kid. “But to answer you, tumigil ako rito para magbreakfast!”

Sumama ang mukha ko sa kanya. I studied him intently, noting the details that seemed to speak volumes about his style. He wore an olive green polo shirt, the fabric hugging his frame just enough to accentuate his posture. A silver necklace peeked out from beneath the unbuttoned collar. From our recent encounters, I’d also observed that the same wristwatch adorned his left wrist. His hair was perfectly styled, sleek and flawless, as if every strand had been meticulously placed.

“No, when I see you in the morning!” I said frankly, making him chuckle.

“Did you bring your pink car with you?”

I sliced my steak and stabbed it with my fork. Ninamnam ko muna ang steak sa aking bibig bago ko siya sinagot. Kumakain naman siya sa tapat ko pero ang mata niya nakatitig lang sa akin.

“I don’t but I-”

“Sabay na tayo sa convention center.”

“And what made you think that I’ll ride with you?”

He shrugged. “Because I said so.”

Nilalaro niya ako! Akala ko ba ako ang mahihirapan sa pagsunod at uto sa taong ito? Bakit iba na ang nangyayari ngayon? Alam niya kaya ang plano ko? Nakatunog na ba siya base sa mga galaw ko?

Tsk! Has this little game of ours already started? Damn!

“Fine!” ani ko. Kung ganito ang gusto mong laro, Ezequil. Then, it’ll be an honor to be your opponent!

Namumublema pa ako sa’yo ha! Let’s just see how this game unfolds!

Ezequil gave me a ride to the convention center. He talks a lot, but one thing I’ve noticed is that he never talks about his family! He was nothing short of a gentleman to me kahit hanggang sa loob ng hall. Tinabihan niya rin ako.

Kahit sa paglalakad ko tungo sa iba’t ibang exhibitors booth ay nakasunod lang sa akin si Ezequil and even shared his thoughts and insights on some of the products we saw.

“Wala ka bang balak na maki-negotiate sa iba? Kung sa akin ka lilingkis wala kang mapapala, Ezequil.” sabi ko sa kanya.

“I don’t mind. I already made a good deal yesterday.”

Humarap ako sa kanya dahil may sasabihin na naman sana ako sa kanya nang bigla niya akong hinila sabay dapa namin sa sahig!

“Damn you- shit!” Malakas kong mura sa kanya nang marinig ang pag-ulan ng bala at pagyanig ng lugar! Did someone bomb the place?

Nagkagulo ang mga tao sa loob ng hall. Nagkanya-kanya silang takbo at tago!

Hinagilap ko ang aking likuran, ang nakasanayan kong gawin kapag nalalagay sa panganib, kaso wala akong baril! My guns- my pink guns weren’t with me!

Ezequil and I scrambled desperately on the floor, our bodies pressed against the cold, hard ground, as the deafening sound of gunfire rained down above us. Glass shattered, furniture splintered, and debris rained from every direction.

“What the heck?!”

“Do you have your gun?” tanong ni Ezequil sa akin.

“What? No!”

“Take this!” aniya sabay abot sa akin ng kanyang baril. Hindi siya pink!

“Straight to the exit. I’ll cover you!” he shouted.

“What? W-what about you?”

“Save yourself first.”

“Suldua!”

“Maranzano!”

“Ezequil, it’s your time to kill me now. And I could kill you right now.” Hindi mangingialam ang headquarter sa ganito dahil ambush and unexpected things happen sa ganitong pangyayari.

“Shoot me,” sabi niya sabay diin ng muzzle ng baril sa kanyang dibdib!

Kinasa niya ang baril at nilagay ang daliri ko sa trigger.

Kanina kung hindi niya ako hinila at pinadapa baka naliligo na ako ngayon sa dugo ko. Pero niligtas niya ako. He even shielded me from the debris falling around us!

Inis kong binawi sa kanya ang baril at saka itinuon ko ang baril sa lalaking nasa likod niya at ito ang binaril bago pa nito matamaan si Ezequil!

“Let’s get out of here.” sabi ko sa kanya sabay sipa sa malapit na mesa sa amin. It was a steel table, and we used it as cover as we made our way to the exit! Ako ang naging mata namin ni Ezequil likod at siya naman sa harap at siya rin ang nagtutulak ng mesa!

“Gracious fuck!” Mura ko sabay paulan ng bala sa mga nakamask at naka-itim na lalaki na walang tigil ang pagdating at pagpapaulan ng bala!

Nang bumukas ang pinto ay inakay ako ni Ezequil patayo at tumakbo kami tungo sa exit! Nakikipagbarilan kami habang tumatakbo.

Halos masira ang button ng elevator sa pagpindot doon ni Ezequil at nang bumukas ito ay una akong pumasok.

Hinihingal ako.

“Halika ka na, Suldua!” sigaw ko sa kanya dahil nakikipagbarilan pa siya!

Papasok na siya sa loob nang matamaan ang kanyang dibdib! My eyes widen!

Mabilis ko siyang inabot at hinila sa loob. Pasara na ang pinto ng elevator nang may isa pang nakamask na sumunod sa amin! Konting-konti na lang para masara ang elevator but I took one final shot at the man, and the bullet of my gun struck him square on his forehead!

---

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CHAPTER 4

Chapter 4

I must have gone mad because I was here driving my rival’s car. Not only that, we’re heading to his house! Well, I don’t know if it was really his or his family’s property. But one thing is for sure right was I’m going to set my foot in my enemy’s territory! If there’s something that happened to me when we get there, no one will suspect him because I voluntarily drove him to his house. This wasn’t considered kidnapping because I was literally the driver here while he was writhing on the shotgun seat!

I was wrong when I thought that he only got a shot on his shoulder because he has a gunshot on his belly as well! I want to bring him to the hospital but this stubborn man won’t allow me. We’re just going to seek professional help here with these gunshots yet he has his own plan! Gasto yatang mamatay sa mga tama niya!

“A-are you okay?” I asked, taking a glimpse at him covering his belly that was bleeding nonstop!

“S-should we go to the hospital and—”

“And get caught with those whackers who ambushed the convention?”

Bwesit siya! May gana pa siyang maging sarcastic sa akin! Paano kung patayin ko na siya ngayon dito?

But the plan, Zenver.

Hmp! I can really abandon him right now and go straight home however, I was caught in this situation with him.

Well, utang na loob ko lang ito. Tumatanaw naman kasi ako ng utang na loob kaya ko ito ginagawa ngayon. I have no other agenda here aside from helping him!

“Fine, fine, now, ituro mo na ang daan sa bahay ninyo!” Pagalit kong untag sa kanya. Humigpit naman ang pagkakahawak ko sa steering wheel ng kotse.

“Hmm, h-here.” Inabot niya ang telepono niya sa akin at naka-pin na ang location ng kanyang bahay.

And I never knew that his house would be situated in a secluded area. I noticed that on our way to his house that there were no houses along the way. Malayo ang huling bahay na aming nadaanan at napansin ko ang mga kahoy at puno ng niyog sa daan.

When we reached the location, I was greeted with a bungalow type of house dominated by a navy blue and white color.

Kaagad kong inalalayan si Ezequil tungo sa pinto ng bahay. Wala kaming oras na dapat sayangin dahil sa tama niya. Tang ina, ang bigat niya!

“Susi. Nasaan ang susi?” tanong ko sa kanya na bumibigat na ang hininga.

“It d-doesn’t need a key, it’ll o-only need my f-fingerprint.” He said.

Doon ko lang napagtanto ang sinabi niyang fingerprint nang makarating kami sa harap ng pinto at may scanner nga doon sa gilid ng pinto.

Nilagay ni Ezequil ang thumb sa scanner.

Scanned. Umilaw ng berde ang scanner. Open. Tumunog ang pinto at na-unlock na iyon! Wala akong panahon para tingnan ang bahay niya pagkapasok namin.

“L-let’s head to t-the b-bathroom. N-nando’n ang first a-aid kit.” He uttered airily, and then he pointed the white door on the corner.

Dinala ko siya roon sa banyo. Akala ko maliit ang banyo pero ang spacious niya pala sa loob. Well-illuminated pa.

“W-wait, I’ll get you a chair!” ani ko nang makita ang wala masyadong gamit sa loob except for the towels and other bathroom necessities.

Sumandal siya sa sink at mabilis akong lumabas. Kumuha ko ng isang silya sa dining niya at dinala ko sa banyo! Mahirapan pa ako dahil mabigat siya!

Pagkabalik ko sa banyo ay pumipikit na ang mga mata ni Ezequil na parang inaantok.

“U-upo ka rito.” ani ko sa kanya. Inalalayan ko pa siya dahil hindi na siya nakakatayo ng maayos at nakita kong nawawalan na ng kulay ang kanyang mga labi.  “W-what do we do? Hindi ako doktor o nars, Suldua! Tandaan, mo hindi ako ang doktor sa family namin!”

“I-I’m very w-well aware of that, Z-Zen.” Natatawa niya pang sabi sa kabila ng panganganib ng kanyang buhay!

“Alam mo naman pala pero bakit nagmamatigas kang pumunta tayo rito? Kung sa ospital lang sana—”

“Ang k-kit nasa ibabaw n-ng s-sink, may p-pulang bag d’yan at nand’yan ang mga k-kailangan n-natin.”

Tumalima naman kaagad ako upang kunin ang first aid kit nito. The hell! I’m shaking right now! I don’t have much experience in a situation like this. Usually, Zhuri and Zyrho won’t allow me to come with them every time there’s a warfare or battle.

I may know combat (hand combats) and use any type of guns but I’ve never really got a chance to use my skills in the field. Zhuri taught me how to perform first aid pero hindi pa talaga ako nakagamot ng isang tao! Iyong mga natutunan ko from Zhuri ay hanggang sa utak ko lang!

Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko sa mga dugong nakita ko kay Ezequil. Masyado ng maraming dugo ang nawala sa kanya mula pa kanina!

“A-anong gagawin natin? Ezequil hindi ako si Zhuri na doktor!”

Hinawakan ni Ezequil ang nanginginig kong kamay.

“I t-trust y-you, Zen. I k-know you learn a thing or two about this, right?”

Shit! I may know a thing but the problem is there’s a bullet inside his shoulder and on his belly! We don’t have enough equipment here and I’m not a professional to do this! What if may magalaw akong hindi tama sa organ niya that can worsen his situation?

“Ezequil,”

“W-we need to take the b-bullet out of my shoulder and on my abdomen. Take it out, Zen, before I lose my blood right now.”

“A-ako? Me!” Bulyaw ko sa kanya.

“We don’t have e-enough time to a-argue, my queen. It’s either y-you’ll take it out or I’m g-gonna die due to b-blood loss.”

We were helpless and it was all because of him. Masyadong matigas ang ulo niya kaya magdoktor-doktor-an ako ngayon sa kanya.

Tiningnan ko ang kit at binuksan ko ito. Damn! Tumingin ako kay Ezequil na namumutla at namimilipit na sa sakit! Puno na ng dugo ang suot niyang olive green na polo shirt.

I need something to tear his clothes off! Nang may makita akong gunting kit ay kinuha ko ito at hinati ko ang kanyang damit.

I washed my hands and wore the gloves that I found on his kit. I’m not professional and we don’t have much equipment with us. That’s why I used the scissor to take the bullet on his belly!

“Please, talk, Suldua! Don’t you fucking die here! I don’t want to see you die!”

“I-I… know…”

His voice gives me hope that his, somewhat, alive.

Binuhusan ko ng alcohol and gunting at saka ko ito ginamit bilang tweezers upang makuha ko ang bala na bumaan sa kanyang katawan!

I pressed the scissor and more blood flowed out! My heart was going crazy as I saw the fresh blood coming out. I saw the bullet and pulled it out using the scissor and as I pulled it out there was a blood splash on my face! However, I successfully took out the bullet.

Binaba ko ang bala na nakuha sa isang tissue at kaagad na bumalik sa sugat ni Ezequil. Dinisinfect ko ang kanyang sugat at saka ko ito nilagyan ng sterile dressing at pinulupot ko ang benda sa kanyang katawan bago ito nilagyan no’ng elastic tape para pumirmi ang nilagay kong gasa.

Tumayo ako upang kunin naman ang bala sa na bumaon din sa kanyang balikat.

“T-tissue,” pikit matang usal ni Ezequil. Parang kinakapos na rin siya sa hangin!

Kahit na hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin niya sa tissue sinunod ko pa rin siya.

I disinfected the scissor again and looked at Ezequil’s shoulder that was shot by a gun. Hindi siya malalim kumpara sa tama niya doon sa abdomen niya.

Yumuko at akmang pupulutin ko na ang bala na bumaon doon sa balikat niya nang punasan niya ang noo at pisngi ko gamit iyong bakante niyang kamay.

Our eyes locked to each other when he opened his groggy and cloudy eyes.

“D-don’t move, Ezequil!” Suway ko sa kanya na parang bata na matigas ang ulo at ayaw makinig sa kanyang ina!

“Blood… doesn’t suit you, Zen.” He uttered. I clenched my jaws. “Red… black… they don’t suit you. You were born… just to be a sunshine… a rainbow.” Putol-putol niyang wika.

Uumungol siya nang kinuha ko ang bala sa kanyang balikat sa gitna ng kanyang pagdedeliryo. Kung ano-ano na lang ang kanyang sinasabi!

“I… I now u-understand why I d-didn’t see you even once on a b-battlefield. You are the light a-after the dark. A w-window of h-hope after the d-door closes.” Litanya niya habang dini-dressing-an ko ang kanyang sugat sa balikat.

Nakarating pa kami ni Ezequil sa kanyang silid. Pagod akong napaupo sa paanan ng kanyang kama habang binabantayan siya na natutulog! Panay pa ang check ko kung humihinga pa ba siya!

Baka kasi patay na! Ayaw kong maglibing ng kalaban!

Dahil may dugo na rin ang suot ko. Pinakailaman ko na ang banyo ng kanyang silid. I took all of my clothes except for my underwear and cleaned my body! I wore a robe that was available in the bathroom before I went out.

I checked Ezequil’s pulse at pumipitik pa naman! I wasn’t comfortable with only those dark robes on my body that’s why I went to Ezequil’s thing and got a white shirt.

Hindi ako natuwa sa kanyang wardrobe na halos dark ang mga colors. Ni wala akong makita na light color except for white! Wala siyang pink sa kanyang gamit! I don’t like it!

Natatabunan ang aking maliit na boxer shorts sa t-shirt ni Ezequil. Umupo ako sa sofa na nasa paanan ng kama nito at tiningnan ko ang aking telepono. I almost dropped my phone when it rang and Zhuri’s name flashed on my screen.

I cleared my throat before answering her call!

“Zhuri—”

“Zenver!” She shouted, cutting me off!

“Hi!”

“Anong ‘hi’?! Are you okay? God-damned, nasaan ka ngayon? Bakit ngayon mo lang sinagot ang tawag ko?!” Yeah, nakilang tawag na rin kasi si Zhuri sa akin!

Bumuntong hininga ako. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang pagod sa katawan ko after ng lahat ng nangyari.

Tumayo ako at saka lumapit doon sa binatana na nakaharap sa dagat. Hapon na at malapit ng mawala ang araw.

“I’m safe, Zhu. I’m really, really fine!”

“Dammit, Zen! Were you there when an infiltration happened?”

I unconsciously bobbed my head as if I was talking to her personally. “I was… I was there.”

“Shit!”

“Yeah, shit!” I joked.

“It’s really a mistake choice to send you there—”

“Zhu, I’m alright.” Aside sa nandito ako sa bahay ng mortal nating kalaban ay maayos naman ako.

“Even if, Zen! Papadad will skin us alive if he learns about this.”

“Hindi ito makakarating kay Papadad. If you zip your mouth walang malalaman si Papadad. Besides, I am well here.”

Umungol siya. “Nasaan ka ngayon? Hindi mo ako sinagot.”

“O-oh,” lumingon ako kay Ezequil na walang malay sa kanyang kama. Dinaga ang dibdib ko sa pag-iisip kung ano ang isasagot ko sa aking kapatid! Tang ina! Kung sasabihin ko sa kanya na nandirito ako sa bahay ni Ezequil, malamang liliparin ako no’n dito! “Nasa hotel na ako, Zhu. Ahm, medyo malayo kasi itong hotel na tinuluyan ko sa convention center.”

“Doc, may naghahanap po sa inyo sa labas.” rinig kong may tumawag kay Zhu.

“Fine… please, Zen, be careful.”

“I-I will, Zhu. Thank you!”

Nang mamatay ang tawag ay lumabas ako sa silid ni Ezequil. Pumunta ako sa kanyang kusina at humanap ng maaaring lutuin ko para sa amin!

Nang makapagluto ako ng pwede naming maging dinner namin ni Ezequil ay bumalik ako sa taas. Habang naglalakad ako sa mababang hagdanan ay bigla akong napaisip! Damn!

“Bakit ba ang bait ko sa kanya—sa kaaway ko? Bakit inaalagaan ko siya ngayon?” ani ng devil side ng utak ko.

“Syempre, Zenver, iniligtas ka!” Kontra naman ng mabuting side ng aking utak!

“Tama, tama, may utang na loob lang ako sa pagligtas niya sa akin kaya ko ito ginawa! After this, aalis na ako. Tama, Zen! Hindi ka dapat magtagal dito dahil baka mahuli ka rin ng mga kapatid mo!” ani ko sa sarili sabay tampal sa aking dibdib!

Bumalik ako sa silid ni Ezequil. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Ezequil quivering!

“E-Ezequil! Ezequil!” May taranta kong wika sabay gising ko sa kanya.

Is he going to die?

“M-mom,” mahina niyang sambit.

Bumuga ako ng malalim na hininga at aalis na sana ako sa tabi niya nang hawakan niya ang kamay ko! Doon ko rin na-realize na ang lamig ng kanyang palad!

I checked his forehead and his neck only to find that he has a fever! I was about to tug my hands away from him to get some wet towel for his fever when he pulled me.

Nasubsob ako sa kanyang dibdib, mabuti na lang at hindi ko nahawakan ang kanyang sugat!

“Please, stay. I don’t want to be alone. Please!” he muttered, pulling me close to him and wound his arms around my body!

---

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CHAPTER 5

Chapter 5

I counted from one to ten, but Ezequil’s arms were still wound around my body like a vine clinging to a tree, as if its life depended on it!

Umirap ako at bumuntong hininga.

‘May sugat ang taong pinapatungan mo ngayon, Zenver. Malalim ang kanyang sugat kaya huwag kang malikot!’ Sulsol ko sa aking sarili, trying my best to remain calm and collected despite my deep-shit situation on top of Ezequil!

Once again, my eyes rolled a full 360 degrees as I remembered how this goddamned man called me his mother!

Gosh! Sa pretty kong ito? Sa baby face kong ito pagkakamalan niya akong Mommy niya? Tsk! Kung hindi lang talaga siya sugatan at wala akong utang na loob, malamang nakauwi na ako sa aming resort at nagpapakasaya! Malamang iniwan ko na siyang naubusan ng dugo!

The longer I lay on my stomach on top of him, the stiffer my neck becomes. Left with no other choice, I reluctantly use his unscathed, barrel-like chest as a pillow, hoping to ease the creeping numbness in my neck! It was his fault din naman kaya ako nagkaganito!

No matter how hard I tried to pry his fingers off my back, it was useless - I felt like a helpless rat trapped in the cage of his arms! It was as if those steel arms of his were terrified to ever let me go!

Umungol ako. Ang hirap ng situation ko rito sa ibabaw niya habang siya mukhang enjoy na enjoy sa kanyang idlip!

I tried to close my eyes and steal a short nap, but his warmth and the steady, rhythmic thumps of his heart against his chest pulled me back from the edge of sleep.

Tamad akong tumingala sa tulog na aking kinapapatungan ngayon. Unlike earlier, he seems calm right now. Nawala na ang wrinkles sa kanyang noo at hindi na rin siya pinagpapawisan. Kung anuman ang napanaginipan niya kanina ay wala na iyon sa akin. Though something within me wants to figure out the cause of his nightmare and why he was calling his mother in it.

Sobrang lapit na ng mukha ko sa kanya at ngayon kita ko na ang mga maliliit na ugat sa kanyang maputing mukha. Mahaba ang pilik mata niya at hulmado ang kanyang eyebrows. Ang tangos din ng ilong niya. Akala ko wala nang kapintasan ang lalaking ito ngunit nang bumaba ang mata ko ay nakita ko ang malaking piklat sa kanyang leeg. Malaki siya at malalim! Saan niya nakuha iyon? At ska nakita ko rin ang kanyang katawan kanina na maraming piklat, though hindi sila inintindi since nasa bingit siya kamatayan.

My eyes landed on his silver necklace. The pendant was round, and I was about to touch it when I heard him grunting!

Bumalik ang mata ko sa kanya. His lashes fluttered before his eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the light. For a moment, he seemed lost in the brightness - and then, his gaze finally found me.

“Z-Zen,”

Inismiran ko siya. “Let go of me, idiot!” I blurted out in disgust.

Nakuha niya pang ngumiti. “Kung gusto mo pang humiga, ayos lang naman. Mamaya ka na bumangon-”

“I’m hungry! Gutom ako kaya bitiwan mo na ako! At saka, ayaw ko kayang humiga rito sa taas mo! Kinikilabutan ako!” May disgusto kong sabi sa kanya.

“Really?” His arms loosened around me, and I took the chance to bounce off of him. Inayos ko ang aking damit. “Akala ko kasi gustong-gusto mo rito sa pecs ko humiga.”

I crossed my arms, my face painted with annoyance. “Pecs my ass! Kumain na tayo. Pinakailaman ko ang kitchen mo downstairs at nagluto ako for us ng dinner. Come on.”

His eyes soften, but I can still see the playful grin forming on his lips. Ni-uuto ako nito!

“My queen, I can’t get up.”

“What?” I spits. “Sa pagkakaalala ko ay nasa abdomen at balikat lang ang tama mo. Hindi ko akalain na baldado ka na.”

Sumubok siyang bumangon ngunit nakita ko ang sakit sa kanyang mukha sa pagpipilit niyang pagbangon.

“Okay! Stop it! Dadalhin ko na lang ang food mo rito.”

Inaarte-an pa ako eh!

“But I don’t want to eat alone,” he said, almost pouting his lips, which made every strand of my hair stand on end in horror!

“Hmp! Fine! We’ll eat together. Happy?!”

Tumango lang siya na may ngiwi sa mukha dahil sa kanyang sugat na iniinda!

“Don’t move! Baka bumuka pa lalo ang wounds mo! Dammit!”

Ang swerte naman nitong Suldua na ’to dahil inaalagaan ko siya. Kung alam niya lang talaga na halos hindi ako pinakikilos sa bahay! Dito parang naging alipin na niya ako! Dammit!

Bumaba ako at saka hinanda ang magiging dinner namin ni Ezequil. Medyo lumamig na ang mga niluto ko dahil sa pag-aarte niya kanina.

Nag-iinarte pero hindi mo matulak, Zen?

Tsk! Naaawa lang naman ako roon dahil may sugat siya! Kung wala ay baka nabugbog ko na.

Labag man sa loob ko itong ginagawa ko ngayon ay bumalik ako sa taas dala ang dinner namin ni Ezequil. Iniwan kong bukas ang pinto ng silid niya kaya naman nakapasok lang ako agad.

At parang naramdaman ni Ezequil na pumasok ako dahil nagmulat din siya sa kanyang mga mata. Due to the white light illuminating his bedroom, I saw his pale blue eyes light up when he saw me.

Dammit! I must be hungry! Kung ano-ano na kasi ang nakikita ko! Baka mamaya hindi na ako magulat kung pati mga espirito makita ko na!

“Ito na po!” Sarkastiko at pabagsak kong sabi sabay lapag ko sa isang bowl ng soup na ginawa ko for him.

Umalis ako sa kama at lumapit sa bilogang mesa sa isang sulok. Naghila ako ng upuan at umupo. My excitement skyrocketed as I eyed my dinner, but my happiness plummeted when Ezequil spoke.

“Won’t you feed me?”“

I almost pulled my hair out in frustration!

“Gosh! Can’t you be thankful na lang na nilutuan kita at inalagaan tonight? I can clearly see naman na maayos ang isang kamay mo, kaya kumakain ka na d’yan. Ang dami mong arte, Suldua! Hindi bagay!”

“At least help me to get up, my queen.”

I groaned like an animal in pain! Sumusobra na itong lalaki na ’to! Ang sarap ilunod sa soup!

Relax, Zen! Relax! Ngayon lang ito self kaya magtiis ka! Remember, he saved your ass just hours ago!

Inalalayan ko na si Ezequil sa pagbangon. Sinandal ko na rin siya sa headboard no’ng kama niya at nilapit ang kanyang dinner para hindi na niya ako madisturbo sa dinner ko.

“Thank you, my queen!” He said playfully.

I just rolled my eyes at him before getting off his bed. Bumalik na ako sa pwesto ko.

Habang humihigop ako ay di ko maiwasang hindi sumulyap sa direksyon ni Ezequil. Damn! Ewan ko ba kung bakit parang ang lakas ng hatak niya! Why is he so unfazed by those bandages coiled around his body? The bandages frame his big, brawny pectorals. Every curve and contour of his muscles is defined because of them! His body is so… so hefty!

When my eyes moved north, I jerked in my seat as our eyes locked. Damn! My blood was pumping wildly!

Did this brute just catch me staring at him?

“Do you like it?”

“Yes-what?” My tongue slipped! Damn it! I felt my cheeks burn even more. “What I mean is, are you done with your soup? Yes?”

I fucking wanted to erase the sly grin beginning to form on his face. I wanted to punch that grin off his face, but I restrained myself from doing so! Mas magiging halata ako! Tang ina!

Dahil talaga sa lalaking ito napapadalas na ang pagmumura ko!

Maharas akong tumayo. “Akin na ang pinagkain mo!”

“No need to wash the dishes, my queen.”

“Ayoko!” Sagot ko at kinuha ang kanyang pinagkain. Tumayo ako sa gilid ng kanyang malaking kama.

“Zen,”

“Basta maglilinis ako sa baba. Ayaw kong mag-iwan ng dumi at ni isang hibla ng buhok ko rito sa bahay mo.”

The playful smirk that had been lingering on his lips suddenly transformed into a grim expression. His eyes darkened, an unsettling shift I couldn’t quite place. I had no idea what I did to provoke this sudden change in him, but the air around us grew tense with the mystery of it! Gosh! He was so unpredictable!

Nakailang oras palang akong kasama siya pero tingin ko pagod na pagod na ako sa kanya! Ganito siguro kapag kasama mo ang kalaban mo!

“Aalis ka?” tanong niya na para bang hindi niya inaasahan na aalis ako rito sa bahay niya.

Napatawa ako. “Malamang. Ano bang inaakala mo? Magtatagal ako rito sa bahay mo? I don’t have a death wish for my beautiful and gorgeous body, Ezequil!” I point out.

“Why are you always pointing that out?”

“What?”

“That I’m going to kill!”

“It’s given! It’s given knowing that you’re a Suldua and I am a Maranzano! We’re rivals! The organization law was the only standing rule that made us alive right now.” Kahit hindi ko alam ang mga pasikot-sikot ng underground society alam ko ang katayuan ng mga buhay namin. Hindi dapat ito nangyayari ngayon!

Mas nandilim ang kanyang mga mata sa akin. His jaw clenched even harder.

“Then why didn’t you kill me? Why did you help me?” His dark, thick eyebrows furrowed.

“Because you helped me! Utang na loob lang ang lahat ng ginagawa ko sa’yo ngayon!”

“Zenver, I don’t know why you’re so fixated with me killing you, but-”

“Let’s just cut this crap out. Aalis ako bukas at ikaw na ang bahala sa sarili mo.” I said in finality before storming out of his room!

Even though I’m already in his kitchen, I can still feel his burning gaze piercing through me. I want to throw away and forget his stare, but my mind keeps replaying those moments from earlier!

Binagsak ko ang bowl sa sink dahil sa inis ko!

“Ano bang gusto niya? Anong gusto niyang palabasin?! Uuwi naman talaga ako! Anong akala niya? Pagsisilbihan ko siyang hanggang sa gumaling siya? Gago ba siya?!” Inis kong sabi sabay sampal ko sa gilid no’ng sink.

Naiinis na ako sa lahat ng nangyayari ngayon!

“Shit siya! Sana pala hinayaan ko na lang siyang maubusan ng dugo kanina. Nagbait-baitan pa kasi ako eh!”

Natuptop ko ang aking kamay. Napailing ako.

“What if parte ito ng plano niya? Nang laro niya? Tsk!” Dapat talaga mag-ingat ako sa kanya. Baka patibong lang ang lahat ng ito!

Sinadya kong magtagal sa kusina at nang umakyat ako sa silid niya ay tulog na siya. Pinatay ko ang ilaw at iniwang bukas iyong lampshade sa tabi niya. Ewan ko kung tulog ba talaga siya, nagtulog-tulogan o baka patay na.

Tiningnan ko siyang nakapikit ang mata. Jesus Christ! Sarap lagyan ng unan ang mukha nang hindi na makahinga!

Kumuha ko ang unan at saka doon naisipang humiga sa isang sofa! Maliit naman ang katawan ko kaya kakasya ako roon. Humiga na ako at tiningnan ang telepono ko! In-open ko ito dahil in-off ko kasi siya. Ganon na lang ang takot ko nang makita ko ang text messages ni Kuya Zyrho na sunod-sunod ang pag-pop!

‘Zen, I heard from Zhuri about what happened at the convention. How are you? Are you safe? Who’s with you?’

‘I want to call you, but I can’t reach your damn phone! Tell me where you are. I’ll send my most trusted men to fetch you!’

‘Zen, Zhuri told me that you’re in a hotel. Are you sure you’re okay there? Did you turn off your phone?’

‘Zen, please reply once you read my messages.’

Mabilis akong bumuo ng reply ko kay Kuya Zy! Anong send ng tauhan niya?!

‘Hello, Kuya! I’m fine! Yes, Zhuri was right na nasa isang hotel lang ako, so no need to send your men, Kuya. Also, maybe tomorrow or the day after tomorrow pupunta na ako sa hotel natin.’ Send ko kaagad sa reply ko.

Ilang saglit ay nagreply naman siya.

‘I’ll send someone to accompany you papunta sa hotel.’

Bumilog ang mata ko sa kanyang reply.

‘No need, Kuya. I can handle myself just fine!’

‘Are you sure? Baka may mga goons pa d’yan. Hindi naman ikaw ang target ng mga sumugod d’yan, but we don’t know, Zen. I think it would be better if umuwi ka na lang.’

‘No, Kuya! Magbabakasyon muna ako rito. I’ll just update you or Zhuri once uuwi na ako.’

‘Fine, but make sure to call Papadad or Daddy. Don’t make them worry about you. I love you, Zenver.’

‘I know! I love you too, Kuya!’

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag. As soon as possible dapat makaalis na talaga ako rito sa bahay ni Ezequil. Ayaw kong dumating ang oras na sila mismo ang makakadiskubre na nandito ako sa bahay ng kalaban namin.

In-off ko muli ang aking telepono at inilagay sa ilalim ng aking unan.

Kagaya ni Ezequil, masyadong madilim ang kwarto niya. Halos itim ang nakikita ko sa loob maliban sa puting pintura ng dingding at ng mga vases. Napaka-plain ng kwarto para akong sinasakal sa pangit ng silid niya! Walang kulay pink! Well, baka rest house lang naman ito.

Masama ang loob kong natulog. Ngunit nagising ako na yumayanig na ang mundo ko! May lindol ba?

“Zen, Zen wake up!” Half-yelled ng isang boses ng lalaki!

Sumama ang timpla ng mukha ko.

“Stop it, Ehann! Matutulog pa ako! Kayo na muna ang magbreakfast!” Inis kong sambit at napakamot sa ulo ko.

“Zen, Zen, please wake up!”

“Argh! Ano ba, Ehann-!” Galit kong wika pero kaagad din akong napatigil nang makita kong si Ezequil ang gumigising sa akin!

“A-anong-”

“Wake up! Come on!”

Bumangon ako. “T-teka lang bakit ka ba nagmamadali? Bakit ka napa-praning d’yan?”

Shit! Muntik ko nang makalimutan na nasa bahay nga pala ako ni Ezequil! Nagiging ulyanin pa ako!

Kumunot naman ang noo ko nang mapansin kong nasa kama ako. Wait, sa pagkakatanda ko ay sa sofa naman ako natulog!

“Ezequil, bakit nandito ako sa-”

“You need to hide, Zen! My father… nasa baba siya!”

Dinaga ang dibdib ko. “A-ano?”

“Magtago ka. Come on,” aniya.

Lito ako sa kung ano ang gagawin namin pero dahil sa kaba ko nang marinig na nandito ang kanyang ama, nagpatianod ako kay Ezequil. Dinala niya ako sa tabing closet ng kanyang silid.

Binuhat niya ako at binaba kasama ang kanyang mga damit. Nakapatong ako ngayon sa mga naka-pile niyang damit.

“E-Ezequil,”

“Stay here. Hanggang hindi umaalis si Papa ay hindi ka pwedeng lumabas. Understand?” Kinakabahan niyang sabi. Bakit ito namumutla?

Lumunok ako. Mapagkakatiwalaan ko ba siya?

“You only have me now, Zen. I promise to keep you safe, okay?”

The only thing I did was nod my head and believe him.

“Brixx Ezequil!”

Napatalon ako kasabay nang pagsara ni Ezequil sa pinto ng closet. Tinakpan ko ang aking bibig. Sa maliit na siwang ng door frame ng closet ay sumilip ako.

Nandito na sa loob ng kwarto ni Ezequil ang kanyang ama!

Sa lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko ay parang nabibingi na ako. Parang nasa tenga ko na ang mga alpas ng dugo ko!

“Pa,”

“Pa?! You bastard! Bakit mo iniwan si Britta?” Bailey Suldua, Ezequil’s father shouted!

Britta?

“She’s not my responsibility, Pa!” sigaw din ni Ezequil!

“She’s not but you’re supposed to look after her!”

“I don’t care about that woman at all! I don’t even know her!” Parang mapuputol na ang ugat ni Ezequil sa pagsigaw niya! Fuck! Ang sugat niya! Baliw ba siya?!

“You son of a bitch!” Galit na bwelta ni Bailey Suldua ay sinipa si Ezequil sa t’yan!

Umungol si Ezequil at naluhod sa sahig, nag-iinda sa natamong sipa ng kanyang ama.

Napasinghap ako! Mabuti na lang at nakatakip sa bibig ko ang aking kamay dahil hindi nila iyon narinig!

“Wala ka talagang silbi! Simpleng utos ko pero hindi mo magawa, deputa!”

Nanlaki ang mata ko nang tanggalin ni Bailey ang kanyang sinturon at saka iyon nilago kay Ezequil!

Unknowingly, I feel Ezequil’s pain as I watch him get hit by his father’s belt. Bailey was beating his son, Ezequil, with his belt nonstop until fresh blood started to spill everywhere from Ezequil.

Walang ginawa si Ezequil kung hindi ang tanggapin lang ang mga latigo ng kanyang ama. I watched Ezequil as he writhe on the floor. He just curled on the floor, bathing in his own blood!

Umupo si Bailey at marahas na inangat ang ulo ni Ezequil. “Sa susunod na suwayin mo ako… sa kabaong na pupulutin ang katawan mo, Brixx. Remember your mother? You’ll end up like her because of your foolishness!”

---

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CHAPTER 6

Chapter 6

Ezequil was writhing in pain on the floor, at hindi nakakatulong ang madidiing hawak ng kanyang ama sa kanya. Nakikita ko sa pamamagitan ng maliit na siwang kung papaano pumikit ang mga mata ni Ezequil sa sakit.

“Y-you… wala kang karapatan banggitin ang Mom ko sa harapan ko!” Ezequil choked out, despite his vulnerable state.

“Matigas ang ulo mo!” Idiniin ni Bailey ang mukha ni Ezequil sa sahig at sumigaw naman si Ezequil sa sakit.

Tinakpan ko ang bibig. Halos hindi na ako huminga rito sa closet.

I don’t know what kind of person the old Suldua is. Yes, I’ve heard his name many times, but I’ve never interacted with him. This is the first time I’ve seen him up close.

Sa bahay namin, lalo na kapag tungkol sa underground society, ay malimit lang ang alam ko. Naririnig ko sila Zhuri at Zyrho na nag-uusap tungkol sa mga Suldua, especially Bailey Suldua. Sabi nila malupit itong tao, strict, walang awa— demonyo rin sa underground society. Pero hindi ko naman alam na pati sa anak niya ay ganon siya.

Well, my father, Tyson Maranzano, was a Mafia lord back then. I knew about his reputation and standing, but he was different with us, especially with Papadad. Tyson Maranzano, my father, was an affectionate, caring, and family-oriented man. However, he became merciless and ruthless when it came to our safety. Nagiging demonyo talaga si Daddy kapag kami na ang pag-uusapan.

And now, watching Bailey beat, punch, kick, and lash his very own son, I can’t fathom how evil he truly is. My father would never do this to Zyrho or to any of my siblings. I would bet my life on it—our father would rather die than ever lash out or punch us.

My tears silently sympathize with Ezekiel, who lies bleeding on the floor, just as he receives another brutal kick from his father. My heart squeezes painfully as I stare at the helpless man, the only thing visible on his body now is the red liquid of his own blood.

“Ugh!” Bailey hissed, throwing a deadly glare at Ezekiel. He stood up. “You’re still nothing compared to me, Brixx. Don’t you dare raise your voice at me! You are nowhere near my level. Obey me, follow my commands, and don’t be stubborn!”

Kumalansing ang belt ni Bailey na puno ng dugo sa harap ni Ezequil. Nirolyo niya ang sleeves ng kanyang long sleeves na may dugo. Dismayado siyang umiling at saka tinalikuran si Ezequil.

Hindi kaagad ako nakagalaw sa loob ng closet.

What the hell… Did he really just leave his son in that kind of situation? Parang nag-iwan na lang siya ng konting buhay sa anak niya!

I dried my tears and palmed my face, taking a deep breath before opening the closet. I hopped out and rushed toward Ezekiel.

Lumuhod ako malapit sa kanya. I don’t care if maduguan itong binti at tuhod ko.

“E-Ezequil, we need to call a doctor. Kailangan mong magpagamot,” I said, working hard to steady myself as I looked at his condition.

I wanted to touch him, to examine his wounds, but my hands were trembling. The horror I had witnessed earlier sent waves of fear coursing through my body, and it still hadn’t subsided.

Ezequil slowly opened his eyes. At first, they were weary and fluttering, but when he saw me, terror quickly overtook his ocean-like gaze.

“Z-Zen, you need to leave,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

“No,” I protested, shooting him a scornful look. “We need a doctor, Ezequil.”

Mahina siyang umiling. “I can take care of myself, Zen. Please, baka bumalik si Papa at makita ka. Baby, I can’t fight for you right now.”

In spite of his situation ay nagawa niya pa rin talagang painitin ang ulo ko. What the heck was ‘baby’? No’ng ‘my queen’ ang tawag niya sa akin hinayaan ko siya pero ngayon iba na naman. He really has his own way of pestering me without him lifting a finger.

Tumayo ako. Kaagad kong tinungo ang pinto. Sumilip ako at nang masigurong wala ng tao ay lumabas ako. Naalala ko tuloy ang mga pagkakataon na tumatakas ako sa bahay.

Kinuha ko ang first aid kit ni Ezequil sa baba at bumalik sa taas. Pagkapasok ko sa silid niya, nakasandal na si Ezequil sa gilid ng kanyang kama. Gulat ang rumehistro sa kanyang mukha nang makita ako sa pintuan.

“I-I thought you already left?” There was relief in his voice.

So he wants me to leave, but he also wants me to stay. Psh!

Umirap ako.

“I’m not a doctor.”

“Alam ko nga. Paulit-ulit ka.”

“Hindi ko alam kung papaano ka gamutin at alagaan pero… titingnan muna kita ngayon bago ako umalis.” sabi ko at tumayo upang kumuha ng basang towel para ipunas ko sa kanyang katawan na duguan.

I’m not used to this kind of thing. I saw a lot of blood on the floor, and it smelled awful, but thankfully, I could endure it. Maybe Ezequil was right — I wasn’t born for this. I wasn’t created for it, but it runs in my blood. No matter how much my family tries to shield me, and no matter how much I try to avoid it, it will always track me down — because I am a Maranzano.

Nilinis ko ang sugat ni Ezequil at saka pinalitan ko ang bandage sa kanyang katawan. Muling dumugo ang sugat niya kahapon. Ginamot ko na rin ang mga sugat na gawa ng kanyang ama. That monster! I really don’t understand this shit of rules. ‘Thou shall not kill thy family’. Pero pwedeng ganituhin ang anak? Bailey Suldua was one of a sick man!

Sinandal ko siya sa headboard ng kanyang kama dahil ayaw niyang ihiga ko siya sa kama at saka nilinis ko ang sahig. Alam ko naman ang maglinis pero hindi ko aakalain na maglilinis ako sa bahay ng kaaway namin. Hindi ko aakalain na dugo ng kaaway namin ng lilinisin ko.

Lumabas ako ng banyo pagkatapos kong linisin ang sahig. Nangangamoy dugo na rin ako.

“I smell awful, so I’ll take a shower… I need to borrow some clothes,” I informed him.

Ezequil opened his eyes and gave me a long stare. Despite his aching body, he managed to smile.

“Bakit ka pa nagpapaalam? Kahapon hindi ka naman nagpaalam.” He huskily said, his eyes drifting over my body.

I cleared my throat, feeling his gaze roam over me. Gosh! I was wearing his white t-shirt that fell down to my mid-thigh, with just a pair of boxers underneath. Yet, I could still feel the heat of his fiery gaze on my body, as if he were burning me… slowly.

“Of course, because you looked like a vegetable yesterday!” he teased. Pagtataray ko sa kanya.

Ngayon na nakikita ko na siyang ngumisi at nakikipagtalo sa akin. Gumaan ang pakiramdam ko.

Gumaan siguro ang pakiramdam ko kasi alam kong makakauwi na ako kapag maayos na siya.

He grinned. “You can wear my shirts, my queen. By the way, my clothes look sexy on you.”

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin bago nagmartsa pabalik sa banyo. Irap ako nang irap sa banyo habang inaalala ang sinabi niya. Ayaw ko man pero I have no choice but to wear his clothes. Mag-iinarte pa ba ako ngayon? Nagluto na rin ako para sa amin.

“I’ve never been this tired in my whole life!” I groaned, dropping my body beside Ezequil. I watched him sleeping next to me, his breath labored. “You need to eat before you drift off.”

Ezequil opened his eyes and looked in my direction, his gaze heavy with exhaustion. “I’m so sorry, Zen.”

“Save your apology for later. You need to eat something after that beating earlier.”

Mabibigat ang kanyang paghinga. Tiningnan ko siya na kinuha ang kutsara at sumandok sa gawa kong sopas.

“It’s hot pa.” ani ko sa kanya.

“Tapos ka nang kumain?”

Tumango ako. Umalis ako sa kama niya at saka binuksan ko ang bintana ng kanyang silid. Para naman makapasok ang araw. Ang dilim na masyado ng kwarto niya.

Umupo ako malapit sa bintana at nilanghap ang hangin. Mula sa kinauupuan ko ay naririnig ko ang mga hampas ng alon sa unahan.

“Zen,”

“Hmm?” ani ko pero ang mga mata ay nasa dagat na kulay asul.

“You… you saw me earlier, didn’t you?”

I sighed. Humalumbaba ako sa window frame. Ayaw kong bumaling sa kanya.

“Yes.”

“Can you forget about it?”

“How can I? How can I forget that incident, Ezequil? You… you were beaten by your father!”

“Dad was just lecturing me. Hindi ako sumunod sa kanya kaya ganon.”

Ezequil sounded natural. Wala naman akong paki. Wala akong karapatan na kwestsu-in ang pagpapalaki niya kasi kaaway kami. Dapat nga siguro matuwa na ako ngayon sa kalagayan niya kaso hindi eh. Iba ang nararamdaman ko. Galit ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanyang ama.

May mali na sa akin. May mali na sa utak ko.

“Ganyan siya magleksyon?” tanong ko at humarap sa kanya. Tapos na siyang kumain.

“That is his way of disciplining his son.”

Pumikit ako. My dad won’t do it in any of us.

Umiling ako.

Maling-mali ako sa pagkukumpara ko sa ama ko sa hayop na matandang Suldua na iyon. Tyson Maranzano was a monster in the underground society during his prime, but not to his family, at least. He made a huge mistake back then, toward our Papadad—and toward us. But he’s already paid for it a thousandfold.

I locked my gaze with Ezequil. “Your father is an asshole and a motherfucking monster,” I said without hesitation. “A real father wouldn’t do that. A real father who truly cares and loves his son wouldn’t go to such lengths just to ‘lecture’ him. He wants you to obey him? Through that? By beating you? Sorry, not sorry, but your father deserves my family’s hatred. Sa organisasyon man o hindi, karapat-dapat siyang kamuhian ng kahit na sino!”

Natulala siya. Siya ang unang bumitiw ang aming titigan.

“I thought highly of you, Brixx Ezequil. But you’ve proven me wrong. You’re weak. You can’t even stand your ground.”

He laughed humorlessly. “What are you insinuating? That I should kill him? You really don’t understand the organization—”

“I know you can’t kill him, but at least be a man for yourself! You can’t kill him because of the rules. I get that. But you’re old enough, Ezequil. You don’t need to be chained down and act like a dog to your father.”

“It… it’s easy for you to say that because you have a good family and an easy life! While I…” He heaved a breath. “…my family is fucked up!”

He doesn’t understand a thing about us. He doesn’t know what we’ve been through either.

Naranasan namin noon ang palipat-lipat na bahay para lang magtago. Masaya kami ngayon dahil sa mga sakripisyo ng mga magulang namin noon.

Papadad killed our grandfather, Dad’s father. We almost lost our dad, too. Papadad had a miscarriage. Our lives were a disaster back then.

Tumayo ako. Pinuno ko ng hangin ang dibdib ko.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about as well, Suldua.” I said as cold as an ice.

Napakurap-kurap siya. “Z-Zen,”

“I can see that you’re well after your monster of a father beat you up. So, aalis na ako.”

“Zenver—”

“Magpabugbog ka ulit doon sa Papa mo. That’s what you’re good at, right? Being a coward and a dog? Let’s not see each other again, Suldua. Thank you for saving me. It think bayad na naman ako sa pagligtas mo sa akin.” Deretsong sabi ko sa kanya.

Hindi ko na siya hinayaan pang magsalita at dumeretso na ako sa banyo at kinuha ko ang nalabhan ko ng damit at nagpalit.

Walang lingon kong iniwan si Ezequil. Thankfully, hindi pa low battery ang phone ko kaya nakatawag ako sa hotel na aking tinutuluyan at nagpasundo ako. Hindi ako nagtagal sa hotel at nagcheckout din kaagad ako para makaalis sa lugar na iyon.

Pumunta ako sa resort namin sa Palawan.

“Ang pretty at favorite kong pamangkin!” sigaw ni tita Aileen at sinalubong ako ng yakap. Kakahanap nito ng afam, tumandang dalaga na rito sa resort. Samantalang si tita Gretel naman ay may asawa kaso wala silang anak. Si Lola Tanya naman ay kasama ni tita Aileen dito lang sa tabi ng resort.

“Ang sexy na, ah. Magaganda ba ang turo ni Owell sa’yo?”

“Oo naman, tita!”

“Ang baklang iyon, hindi na bumibisita rito. May asawa na ba iyon o kagaya ko?”

Tumawa ako. “Kagaya po ninyo, tita.”

Nang malaman nila Tita Gretel at Lola Tanya na dumating ako ay napasugod din sila sa resort.

“Hindi ba pupunta rito ang Papadad at Daddy mo, Zen?” tanong ni Lola Tanya.

“Hindi, lola. Ako lang po muna ngayon!”

“Masaya kami na napadalaw ka rito, Zen.” si Tita Gretel.

Naging masaya ang mga araw ko sa resort. Nakatawag na rin ako kina Papadad at Daddy. Masaya sila na maayos akong nakarating dito sa resort namin.

Sa loob ng isang linggo ko rito sa resort at wala namang bumibwesit sa akin. Kinalimutan ko na rin si Ezequil at iyong pinag-usapan namin. Siguro mali na gamitin ko siya sa gusto ko. I mean, wala akong makukuha sa kanya dahil ganon ang trato ng kanyang ama sa kanya. Wala na siyang gamit sa akin kung ganon ang relasyon nila ng ama niya! Kaya ano pa ang saysay ng plano ko?

Tama lang siguro na ibaon ko na lang ang mga plano ko sa limot.

Dressed in my worn-out denim shorts and a fitted body shirt that accentuated my every movement, I stepped out of my room, my phone the only item I carried with me. The cool air brushed against my skin as I walked. Gusto ko na namang manood ng sunset kaya tatambay ako sa labas.

The surroundings greeted me with a warm embrace, as the sky shifted from a soft orange to a deep, fiery red, casting a breathtaking glow over everything. Napapangiti ako sa sunset kaso biglang nagvibrate ang phone ko. Tiningnan ko ang phone ko and someone was calling me. Not registered ang kanyang number sa akin.

I slid the screen to the right.

“Hello?” I answered the call.

I furrowed my brows when no one responded.

“Hello?” I repeated.

“My queen,” Ezequil’s baritone voice came through, and I almost dropped my phone in shock.

“Ezequil?”

“May tumatawag pa ba sa’yong reyna niya?” Lumalim pa ang boses nito.

Umirap ako. My queen, my ass! “I’ll block your number. Kalimutan na natin ang mga interaksyon natin last week—”

“I don’t want to.”

“What?”

“Ayoko ko silang kalimutan.”

“Ezequil,”

“Tama ka, Zen.. I’m a coward. And now, I’m standing and fighting for my ground.”

I fell silent.

“The sunset looks so lovely, right, my queen?”

“W-what?”

“Right behind you, baby.”

Unti-unti akong umikot. Tumaob ang paa ko sa buhangin kasabay ng pagwawala ng dibdib ko. The waves crashing on the shore, the hum of the wind, and the distant laughter were drowned out by the pounding of my heart. I almost puked. Dammit!

“Why…” I breathed. “Why are you here?”

The distance between us didn’t stop me from seeing his lips curl into a smirk. “I’m here to mess with you, my queen. If you won’t mess with me, then I’ll be the one to mess with you.”

---

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CHAPTER 7

Chapter 7

Ever since our daddy, Tyson, came into our lives, there hasn’t been a thing I couldn’t have—he gives us everything. I don’t know if that’s his way of showing affection, or if he’s still trying to make up for the past. He made a huge mistake back then, one that caused them (Papadad and Daddy) to drift apart.

When Daddy came back into our lives, I can honestly say things got better. Our Papadad no longer had to work himself to the bone almost 24/7 just to provide for us. But before that happened, we went through so much. Our family faced many challenges before we finally got to the life we have now.

Nasanay na ako sa mga bagay na kapag gusto ko, nabibili ko o nakukuha ko. Kapag may ayaw rin ako, madali ko lang din silang nakakalimutan o sinasa-walang bahala. And it was the same with how much I wanted to use Ezequil in my plan, but after witnessing his difficult situation with his father, I withdrew everything. Wala siyang silbi sa  plano ko dahil ganon lang pala siya kung ituring ni Bailey—parang hayop lang.

I waltzed toward him, my slippers sinking into the sand with every desperate step I took toward Ezequil, whose lips curled into a cunning, knowing smile.

God! Akala niya ba natutuwa ako? Akala niya ba talaga ay may nakakatuwa ngayon? To hell with this Suldua! I already erased him from my mind and my plans, yet he shows up here—as if to slap me in the face and remind me that I can’t just brush him out of my life that easily!

Nang makalapit ako sa kanya ay binaba niya ang kanyang telepono at sinilid sa bulsa ng kanyang slacks.

Maayos na ba ang Suldua na ’to?

Oh shit! Bakit problema ko pa kung hindi na siya maayos? As if I care? Ano ba ang papel niya sa buhay ko? Wala!

Galit kong hinampas ang dibdib niya gamit ang phone ko.

“What the hell are you doing here, Ezequil?!” I half-yelled at him, my bloodshot eyes fixed on him.

“Vacation—”

“Oh, don’t make me a fool! Dito talaga sa resort namin? Out of all beautiful and fine resorts dotting all over Palawan dito talaga sa amin?!”

I quickly withdrew my hand from his chest, a pang of guilt creeping into my system as I watched him flinch, his hand pressing into the spot where I had struck him, as if trying to ease the pain I had caused.

“Wala ka sa hotel na tinuluyan mo.”

Umirap ako, winaksi ko ang pag-aalala sa kanyang mga sugat. Shit! Mukhang tinamaan ko pa ang tama ng bala niya.

“Ano naman ang gagawin ko roon? I wasn’t planning on taking a vacation there when we have our own resort.” Maldita kong sabi sa kanya.

“Naisip ko nga ’yan kaya nandito ako.”

May eskandalo sa mga titig ko nang balingan siya. Alam niya ba ang mga sinasabi niya? Nag-iisip ba siya? Dahil ba sa bugbog ng ama niya ay naalog na rin pati ang kanyang pag-iisip?

“Stop it, Suldua.”

“Why, Zen? Di ba ito ng gusto mo?”

Kahit isaksak mo pa ’yan sa baga ko, itatanggi ko ’yan!

Nagtagpo ang kilay ko. “Ano ba ang sinasabi mo?”

“Like I told you, I’m here to mess with your life,” he said, staring right into my eyes. It felt like he was trying to prove that he wasn’t fooling me.

If only he weren’t a Suldua, I wouldn’t be this stressed about his life. Where is he putting his brain right now? He literally stepped into his enemy’s territory. Mabuti na lang talaga at walang mga espiya ang pamilya ko rito.

But on the contrary, why was I so fixated on him being here when, in the first place, he was just a nobody—an enemy of our family? Why am I so frustrated by him? Why do I feel so uneasy every time I think about him?

Mukhang hindi na ito makatarungan. Nawawala na ako sa sarili ko nito. For heaven’s sake, niligtas niya lang ako ng isang beses, well, kung isasali iyong ginawa niyang pagtago sa akin sa cabinet upang hindi ako makita ng kanyang ama, ay dalawang beses na. Konting landi lang naman ang ginawa ko sa kanya pero, bakit ako nagkakaganito? Natatanga na ako para sa sarili ko.

“Shut up, Ezequil. Let’s just forget what happened in the past few weeks, okay? Let’s go back to our lives as if we never knew each other— as strangers. Hmm? Easy, right?” sabi ko sa kanya kaso nakatitig lang siya sa mukha ko na parang wala siyang naririnig mula sa akin.

Nabato siya sa kanyang kinatatayuan na para bang kahit sagasaan siya ng sasakyan ay hindi siya aalis doon. Matigas talaga ang lalaking ito.

I hate this. I hate how I desperately want him to stay away from me because I’m thinking of his well-being. Naa-out of character na ako dahil sa kanya.

“I won’t do that.”

Marahas akong bumuntong hininga. “Ano ba ang gusto mo, Ezequil?”

“Ikaw!”

“What!” My voice cut through the silence, sharp and unanticipated.

“I mean…” Huminga siya ng malalim. “Dito… dito ko gusto.” He mumbled after recovering.

“Alam mo… aaminin akong ako ang unang lumapit at medyo nag-flirt sa’yo. Pero tumigil na tayo dito, Ezequil, okay? Wala tayong makukuha sa paglapit mo na ’to sa akin. We were like digging at each other’s graves. Always remember that you’re a Suldua and I’m a Maranzano.”

“Damn names. I’ll do whatever I want.”

I poked my cheek with my tongue and looked at him lazily. “You really want to die?”

“I’d gladly die… if it means having a chance to be with you.”

Napatawa ako. God! Ang romantic pakinggan. Halos maniwala na ang marupok kong puso sa kanya ha. Kung makapagbitiw siya ng ganong salita ay para bang matagal na niya akong nagustuhan. His words were just too big, too unbelievable.

Heck! Don’t tell me na-inlove siya sa akin sa loob ng isang gabi naming magkasama sa bahay niya? Ano? Na-inlove ba siya dahil inalagaan ko siya? Utang na loob ko lang iyon kaya ko iyon ginawa sa kanya.

“Lamunin mo ’yang sinasabi mo, Ezequil. Hindi ka na nakakatuwa.”

“Zen,”

“Huwag kang bumabanggit ng ganon sa harapan ko dahil kinikilabutan ako.”

“Hindi ako titigil, Zen.”

Masama ko siyang tiningnan. “Bahala ka sa buhay mo! Binabalaan na kita… ikakamatay mo itong paandar mong ’to.”

“I’m glad to see you today. Babalik ako rito.” Aniya na para bang wala siyang narinig mula sa akin. Bwesit!

“I’ll be fine kung hindi ka na babalik pa.” sabi ko sabay talikod sa kanya. I don’t need to look back. I don’t need to feel guilty about how rude my words were to him, but my mind was focused on its own business while my conscience slowly ate away at me. Nagmatigas ako at hindi na siya nilingon.

Kinarma ako sa sarili kong plano. Ngayon na parang naghahabol ang Suldua, ako na naman ang ayaw. Dati gustong-gusto kong nagpapansin at ngayon na sinusundan na ako, tinutulak ko na siya palayo.

---

“Zen, mabuti naman at nandito ka na. Kumain na tayo.” Aya sa akin ni tita Gretel. Nandito kami ngayon sa bahay nila ni Kuya Jefferson.

Kumunot ang noo ko nang may sumulpot na lalaki galing sa kusina.

“Ay, oo nga pala, Zen, ito si Jet ang pamingkin ng kuya Jefferson mo.” Dagdag ni Tita Gretel. Si Kuya Jefferson ay ang kanyang asawa. “Magkasing edad lang kayo nito, Zen.”

“Hi, Zen!” Jet said, his voice soft, before extending his hand toward me.

Tinanggap ko ang kamay ni Jet. “Nice to meet you, Jet. Ngayon lang kita nakita rito.”

“Ahm,” kumamot siya sa kanyang batok. Mukhang nahihiya siya. “Sa Cebu rin kasi ako nag-aral at ngayon naman kakababa ko lang sa barko at naisipan kong dumalaw rito kina Ate Gretel at Kuya Jefferson.”

“Siya iyong pinapaaral ni Jefferson sa Cebu, Zen. Sa iaang private school siya nag-aaral.” Singit naman ni Tita Gretel sa amin. “Halika na kayo sa kusina para makapaghupunan na.”

Pareho kami ni Jet na tumango kay Tita Gretel. Si Kuya Jefferson ay sinundo pa sina Lola Tanya at Tita Aileen sa resort. Nauna na kasi ako rito sa kanila.

“You said na kakababa mo palang sa barko. Hindi ka pa ba nagsasawa sa dagat?” I mean, sa panahon na nasa barko siya halos dagat na ang nakikita niya tapos pumunta siya rito na dagat din.

Ngumiti si Jet. “Nagsawa na kaso namiss ko rin kasi sila Kuya. Ilang taon na rin kasi akong hindi nakauwi.”

“Ohh,” tanging sambit ko.

“Pagkatapos kasi ng apprenticeship niya, Zen, ay mabilis din siyang nakasampa ng barko dahil nagustuhan siya ng kompanya kung saan siya nag-apprentice.”

“May board exam din ba iyang kinuha mo?” Kuryosong tanong ko kay Jet.

Tumango siya. “Rice?” aniya sabay abot sa aking no’ng kanin.

“Oh, sure!”

“Ahm, oo, may board din kaso hindi pa ako nakapag-take.”

“Wala ka bang balak na magboard?”

Binaba ko ang bowl ng kanin pagkatapos kong kumuha.

“Pagkabalik ko ng Cebu, magrereview ako.”

Nagtuloy-tuloy ang aming pag-uusap ni Jet. Sa una lang siya parang nahihiya sa akin at hindi makatingin ng deretso sa aking mukha. At kalaunan naman ay nawala na ang awkwardness niya. Magaang kausap si Jet at marami siyang maging kwento sa akin tungkol sa kanyang pag-aaral sa Cebu. Sa kanilang university raw dati, nagmimistulang dagat pa ang eskwelahan kapag malakas ang ulan! Tumataas ang tubig!

Umabot kami sa ganong usapan since napag-usapan namin ang mga unforgettable experience namin sa college.

Nang dumating sila Lola Tanya at Tita Aileen ay mas naging maingay ang bahay ni Tita Gretel. At tinukso pa nga kaming dalawa ni Jet. It was nothing to me since lagi naman akong natutukso sa mga boys pero si Jet, para na siyang kinumbulsyon sa pamumula ng kanyang mukha! He had a hint of moreno skin, but when his face flushed, the contrast was still strikingly evident!

“Ikaw, ha, kumiringking ka na roon sa pamangkin ni Jefferson?” Kurot ni Tita Aileen sa akin.

Papasok kami ng resort nang sabihin niya iyon.

“Tita!” Angil ko.

“Oh, bakit? May pa hatid-hatid na kasi sa’yo eh.”

“Tayo, tita. Hinatid niya tayo rito. Hindi lang ako.”

Inismiran ako ni Tita Aileen. “Naku, baka kagaya ka roon sa Papadad mo ha. May pagkamarupok pa naman iyon. Pero sino ba namang hindi rurupok doon sa Daddy ninyo. Hay!”

I shook my head.

“I’m not, tita. Saka ngayon ko lang nakilala iyong guy.”

“Aysus, ano iyong narinig kong pupunta siya rito bukas?”

“Maliligo lang daw kami.”

“Naku! Galing sa dagat pero susuongin ulit ang dagat para sa’yo!” Panunukso muli ni Tita Aileen sa akin.

I rolled my eyes. “Nais niya lang daw na mamasyal dito, tita. Wala naman daw siyang friends dito kaya nag-volunteer ako.”

“D’yan iyan nagsisimula, Zen!”

“Tita!” Inis kong sabi.

“Walang masama d’yan pero mag-iingat ka. Ika nga nila, seaman-loloko raw!”

Sinamaan ko lang ng tingin si Tita pero tinawanan niya lang ako. Umakyat na ako sa unit ko. Hindi ko na inisip iyong mga pasiring ni tita Aileen sa akin. I don’t have any hidden motives for being close to Jet. Besides, Milan isn’t here, I don’t have any company, and it just so happened that Jet was around. There’s nothing wrong with making friends.

At kinabukasan, around 1 PM na dumating si Jet sa  resort. Jet was taller than I was, but I couldn’t help but feel that Ezequil still towered over him!

Dammit! Bakit ko ba nasisingit ang lalaking iyon? Bakit kinumpara ko si Jet sa Suldua na iyon?

Pinilig ko ang aking ulo. Tiningnan ko si Jet sa kanyang suot na Hawaiian polo, shorts, at slippers. Bukas ang tatlong butones ng kanyang polo at lantad ang kanyang dibdib. But i think mas matipuno ang dibdib ni—aherm! Mas makikisig ang mga kapatid ko kaysa rito.

“May mga water activities din rito. May jetski, diving, scuba diving, snorkeling, and if you want pwede tayong mag-island hopping. Pero, alam ko naman na sawa ka na sa dagat.” Saad ko kay Jet habang naglalakad kami tungo sa dagat. Marami pa akong nabanggit na pwede naming gawin habang naglalakad. Nakapag-check-in na rin siya rito sa hotel bago kami lumabas.

“No, okay lang ako sa mga iyon. Gusto mo ba iyon, Zen?”

Napatingin naman ako sa kanya. “Okay ako roon pero ikaw ang iniisip ko since kakababa mo nga lang sa barko—”

“No! Okay lang talaga sila sa akin. May oras pa naman ako kung gusto ko ng land adventures.” Welga niya.

With our private yacht, a skilled yacht driver, and a team of professional divers and instructors, we indulged in a day of adventure. We enjoyed free diving, snorkeling, scuba diving, and swimming. Jet and I had so much fun that we lost track of time. The sun was already sinking into the horizon as we docked, casting a warm golden glow over the water.

My head was still buzzing with joy, eager to share the experience with Milan, but my happy thoughts were abruptly interrupted when I noticed someone standing on the shore. His hand was casually placed behind his back, but his gaze—sharp and intense—was piercing through me, like he was studying every inch of my body.

My heart began to race in my chest as the realization hit me—it was Ezequil. Jet quickly helped me disembark from the yacht, and we walked toward the shore, the waves gently lapping at our feet.

Nang makita kong papalapit sa amin si Ezequil. Binalingan ko naman si Jet. Daldal nang daldal si Jet sa tabi kaso nabibingi ako sa kabog ng dibdib ko.

Shit! I feel like a lovesick fool!

No! Oh my God, love? That’s such a damn huge word!

I can’t even begin to explain how my heart is pounding like a wild horse kicking at my chest. Each throb echoes in my ears, and I hate every single bit of it.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Sasabihin ko na sana kay Jet na mauna na siya sa sa loob ng resort upang makaligo at makapagbihis siya nang maunahan niya ako.

“Zen, sabay na tayong magdinner mamaya—”

“And why would he?”

My eyes snapped shut tightly sa biglaang pagsingit ni Ezequil.

“Sino ka?”

“I should be the one asking you that, dude. Who are you?” Ezequil said, gritting his teeth.

“Ezequil!”

“Kilala mo siya, Zen?”

Tinanguan ko si Jet pero ang mata ko ay nakay Ezequil pa rin. He wore white shorts and a black sleeveless shirt that clung to his muscular frame, the fabric stretching tight as if struggling to contain the power of his well-defined muscles.

Ezequil’s eyes darkened, a storm brewing beneath their surface. His jaw clenched so tightly that it seemed like it might crack from the pressure.

What the hell?

“Ezequil, anong ginawa mo rito? Sana rumespeto ka naman sa kaibigan ko. Jet’s my friend.”

“Really? As far as I know, si Milan lang ang alam kong friend mo, Zen.”

Ha! Kung makapagsalita siya ay akala mo naman alam niya ang lahat tungkol sa buhay ko!

“He is my new friend from Cebu, Ezequil, kaya tumigil ka! Ano bang ginawa mo rito?”

“Cebu?” He uttered blandly, dismissing my question again.

“Oo, anong problema mo roon? Zen, halika ka na—”

Kinuha ni Jet ang isang kamay ko at ang isa naman ay hinawakan ni Ezequil, pinigilan akong makaalis kasama si Jet.

The hell!

“Pare, bitiwan mo si Zen.”

“Ikaw ang bumitiw!” Ezequil’s voice was dark and tense as he pulled my hand.

“Ano ba!” sigaw ko sa kanila. Para na silang magt-tug of war at ako ang rope!

“You’re going with me, Zen.” When our eyes met, Ezequil muttered something under his breath. His gaze softened.

---

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CHAPTER 8

Chapter 8

And I don’t know how I ended up sitting at the same table as Jet and Ezequil. Ayaw nilang magpapigil sa’kin kanina. Halos hatiin na nila ako sa dalawa sa kakahila nila sa kamay ko. No one was willing to let go. No one wanted to give up. Ewan ko rin dito kay Jet dahil ang lakas ng loob niyang hilain ako. At ito namang si Ezequil ay masyadong makapal ang mukha at feeling close sa akin. Porque nagkasama lang kami sa bahay niya ay tingin niya may kakayahan na siyang maging possessive!

These idiots! Kung hindi lang talaga ako nahihiya rito kay Jet, baka kanina ko pa pinag-uuntog ang mga ulo nila. But then, Jet was only here for his vacation. I didn’t want to ruin it. Besides, he was just a victim of Ezequil’s craziness.

Pinatunog ko ang aking leeg. Nangangawit na ito kakabaling ko sa kanilang dalawa. Gusto ko na lang talagang matapos itong dinner na ’to. Dinner had already been served, and these idiots were still being relentless. Tingin ko nagpapatayan na sila sa pamamagitan ng mga titig nila!

Malakas kong binagsak ang aking kamay sa table. Together, they turned their eyes to me. This time, the invisible light of hostility in their gaze softened as they fixed their eyes on me.

“Zen.”

“My queen!”

They spoke in unison. Jet’s eyes sharpened as he cast a piercing gaze toward the shameless Suldua.

Aish! Kailangan ba talaga niya iyong sabihin sa harap ni Jet? Napaka niya talaga!

My queen mo mukha mo Ezequil!

I cleared my throat. “Kumain na tayo. Pagod ako. Gusto ko nang magpahinga.” I said blandly.

Tumango si Ezequil at si Jet naman ay mukhang na-guilty.

“Masyado kasi akong nag-enjoy kanina kasama ka, Jet. At ngayon mukhang nanghihingi na ng pahinga ang katawan ko.” Bawi ko naman, but because of what I said, Ezequil’s eyes darkened.

I shrugged off his hostile gaze.

“Sige, kumain na tayo. Ihahatid kita sa kwarto mo, Zen.” A smile drawn on Jet’s lips.

Umiling ako at akmang magsasalita nang maunahan na ako ni Ezequil.

“There’s no need to, dude. Ako na ang maghahatid kay Zen.”

“Ako na, pare.”

“Ako na nga sabi.”

“Ako ang unang nagsabi sa kanya na ihahatid ko siya.” Pagmamatigas ni Jet.

“Hindi naman siya pumayag kaya ako na-”

Pinutol ko na si Ezequil.

“Kaya ko na! Walang maghahatid sa akin!” Wika ko para tumigil na sila. “Let’s eat!”

The tension between the two men was so palpable that I couldn’t even taste the food in my mouth. I was eating, but it felt like I was chewing air. I wanted to ignore these idiots, but they were just too much for me to brush off!

Thankfully the dinner was over. Magpaalam na ako sa kanila dahil ayaw ko nang maipit sa tensyon nila. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto nilang patunayan sa akin.

“Saang floor ka ba?” tanong ko kay Jet.

“Sa 2nd floor lang…” He answered, but was immediately interrupted by his phone ringing. “I’ll just take this call,” he said. At tumayo siya.

Medyo lumayo si Jet sa amin ni Ezequil. Walang nagsalita sa aming dalawa kaso ramdam ko ang kanyang mga titig sa akin and it’s making me anxious for some undescribable reason.

Hanggang sa bumalik si Jet. “Zen, mauna na ako sa room ko. May kailangan pa kasi akong ipasang dokumento na nasa laptop ko.”

I smiled at him.

“Sure, no problem. Aakyat na rin naman ako later. Magpapatunaw lang ako.” I said quietly.

“Mmm! Thank you for today, Zen. I really enjoy our time together. Sana… may susunod pa.”

“Of course!”

Malaki ang ngiti ni Jet na umalis.

My wide smile faded as soon as Jet disappeared from my line of sight. Ezekiel’s unmistakable gaze felt like it was burning holes into my face. I sharply turned my eyes to him. The creases on his forehead were visible as he looked at me.

“What’s wrong with you? Kanina ka pa!” I can yell at him freely since the other diners are a few meters away from us.

“Kilala mo ba ang lalaking iyon?”

I rolled my eyes. “Sasama ba ako sa kanya kung hindi?”

“Matagal na kayong magkakilala?” He further asks.

Oh God! What’s with the sudden question? I didn’t want to answer him, but my mouth gave in before I could stop it.

“No…”

“That guy is obviously interested in you.”

A grin appeared on my lips. “Then that’s nice! I’m old enough now to mingle with men and have relationships.”

But it seemed like my answer triggered something inside him, and his mood turned sour.

“Don’t be so careless when it comes to men, Zen.”

“I should be more careful whenever you’re around, Ezequil. You’re our rival.”

I chuckled without humor. My eyes seemed to play ridiculous tricks as I watched the pain cross his ocean-blue eyes. Or maybe there was something wrong with my perception.

“Do you really think I see you as my rival, Zen?”

“Bakit? Hindi ba?” May panghahamong untag ko.

“What if I say, yes. Maniniwala ka?”

“No!” I said, looking straight into his eyes,

“I already saw that answer coming because I am a Suldua. Pero… kung hindi ba ako Suldua…”

“What?”

He was thrilling me, and I hated it.

“Nothing.” He dismissed.

Tumayo ako. Gusto ko nang humiga. Parang mas pagod pa ako ngayon na nakikipag-usap lang sa kanya.

“Umalis ka na, Ezequil. Don’t be too complacent na walang tauhan si Daddy dito. I’m done paying you for saving me.” Malamig kong sabi sa kanya.

Tuluyan ko na siyang iniwan nang tumahimik lang siya. I already feel that something is wrong with my body-the way it reacts to Ezequil. And even now, I don’t want this feeling to grow any further. While the seed of this feeling is still young, I want to cut it off immediately. I don’t want to nurture this feeling for my rival. Because no matter how beautiful the flower when it blooms, it will still wither.

I’ve been denying this for days, but the more I deny it, the heavier it becomes in my heart.

And when he said he came here to mess with me… honestly, I felt nervous and scared. Nervous because I might actually accept him. Scared because we might put ourselves on a pedestal.

Nakapasok na ako sa elevator. I watched the elevator doors slowly sliding shut when suddenly, a hand slipped in between, stopping them from closing. It was Ezequil’s hand.

My heart clenched the moment I saw him. Without hesitation, he stepped inside the elevator to join me. The air seemed to freeze, caught tight in my throat.

“Ezequil, what are you doing here?” I uttered, breathless.

Nanatili siyang seryoso. Umandar na ang elevator.

“Zen…” He catches his breath. “Kung hindi ba ako Suldua… tatanggapin mo ako?”

“What?” My voice shaking.

“Ezequil, what are you saying? Are you drunk?”

“Tatanggapin mo ba ako? Kung hindi ko dala ang apilyedo ni Dad… tatawa ka ba sa akin tulad ng pagtawa mo no’ng magkasama kayo ni Jet? Kung hindi ako Suldua, hahayaan mo ba akong ayain kang lumabas? Would you flirt with me?”

“E-Ezequil.”

“Zen, answer me.”

He was dismissing my frail and nonsensical argument.

“Ezequil, ano bang gusto mong malaman? You’re not like this!”

“Yeah, I wasn’t. Hindi nga ako ganito kung hindi mo lang pinasok ang buhay ko.”

“And fault ko na naman?!” I rebutt angrily.

Tumunog ang elevator, tanda na dumating na ako sa floor ko kaso bago pa ako makalabas ay pinindot na niya ang close button at muling bumaba ang elevator.

“Ano ba?! Bababa ako!”

“Answer me first!” He demanded like he was my boss!

“Ezequil!”

Huminga siya ng malalim at akala ko sisigawan niya ako kaso lumambot ang boses niya kasabay nang panghihina ng kanyang mga mata.

“Zenver…”

“Fine! Oo! Masaya ka na?” Singhal ko sa kanya. “Kahit pa anong maging sagot ko, Ezequil, walang magbabago! Suldua ka, Maranzano ako.”

Isaksak niya sana iyan sa kukuti niya!

“I don’t care about our names, Zen.” He snorts.

“Don’t be selfish.” I laughed through gritted teeth.

“Zen, I have no intention of entertaining my feelings for you. But when you walk into my life, you unknowingly break the tiniest thread of my sanity…”

“Stop it, Ezequil!”

“I don’t want to.”

“Don’t be stubborn!”

“I get to decide what I want, Zen. I’m done with my father toying with me and treating me like his obedient dog!”

Ezequil’s words kept ringing in my ears like a song stuck on repeat. I buried my face into my soft pillow, hoping it would stop my mind from replaying what happened in the elevator.

So, is this my punishment for the plan I had for Ezequil? Ito ba ang karma niya sa akin?

How the hell did this happen? We just spent a couple of hours talking and annoying each other. We only spent one night together, and unbeknownst to me, a tiny seed of emotion started to grow within me. Those few minutes we had were a curse!

Ito na ba ang sinasabi ni Milan? Dahil ba ito wala akong masyadong karanasan sa mga lalaki kaya ang bilis bumigay ng sarili ko? Iyong mga sinabi ni Papa Owell sa akin lumabas lang ba sila lahat sa tenga ko?

Gosh! It’s easier said than done!

But I shouldn’t be carried away by his words. Baka ginamit na niya rin iyon sa mga past women niya! At kung maniniwala ako… I’m no longer different from the rest of his women.

“Argh! Grabe talaga ang bibig ni Milan!” Inis kong sambit!

The next morning, I felt like a zombie when I opened my eyes-only to be greeted by a call from my friend! Great! Ni hindi pa ako nakakabangon!

“Hello, bruja?” Masayang bati ni Milan sa akin.

“Hmm!” Binuksan ko ang camera sa aming tawag.

“Oh, kakagising mo lang ba? It’s already eleven in the morning!”

Hinagilap pa ng mata ko ang orasan upang makumpirma kung totoo ba ang sinasabi ni Milan. At eleven na nga! Shit! Anong oras ba ako nakatulog kagabi?

“Mmm!” I moaned, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Why do you sound… tired? Oh my God! Don’t tell me you slept with someone there?!”

“What?! No!”

“Hmm?” May duda sa kanyang tono.

“Wala-okay! Besides, I won’t spread my legs that easily to someone.”

“Yeah, mantra mo na naman! Anyways, tumawag ako because gusto kong malaman ang progress ng plano mo kay Ezequil! Narinig ko ang mga girls dito na naghahanap sa kanya pero umalis pala. Nasa Palawan din! Nagkita ba kayo?”

Someone please help me! Umagang-umaga pa tapos pangalan kaagad ni Ezequil ang naririnig ko! Kaya nga ako natagalan sa pagtulog at paggising ngayon dahil sa litseng lalaking iyon. Tapos ngayon ito pa ang ibubungad ng mabuti kong kaibigan?! Just how nice this friend of mine!

“Bruja?”

I jerked back and raised my eyebrows at Milan.

She puckered her lips.

“Natutulala ka bigla d’yan! Huwag mo akong tarayan, Zenver Maranzano!”

“Whatever!”

“So, ano nga?”

“Anong ‘ano nga’?”

“Duh! My question earlier sa’yo! Nagkita ba kayo ni Ezequil d’yan!” She said, a teasing grin plastered on her playful face.

“Bakit ka ba nagtatanong d’yan? Hindi ba pwedeng ako muna ang tanungin mo if okay ba ako rito?”

She laughed. I noticed from her background that she was in the mini office of her bar. I’ve been there several times, so it looked familiar to me.

“Sa pagtataray mo sa akin right now-hindi ko na kailangan pang tanungin if you’re well ba d’yan!”

I rolled my eyes.

“Answer, please! Update mo ako sa mga ganap mo d’yan!”

“I almost died!” I exhaled.

“You’re… you’re what?!” sigaw niya!

“But he was with me. He saved me-”

“Si Ezequil?!”

I nodded and she shrieked.

“Oh my god-”

“But even if he wasn’t there. I know naman na kaya ko ang sarili ko.” Pagmamalaki ko kaso kinikilig pa itong kaibigan ko.

“So your plan is finally progressing as expected!”

“No!”

“Huh?”

Ang kanyang kilig ay napalitan ng pagtataka.

“I’ve already abandoned the plan, bruja.”

“Wait, I don’t get it.”

“He’s no longer useful to my plan. He can’t help me,” I explained.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’ve already fallen for him-that’s why you’re giving up on your plan!”

“No!” I exclaimed. “Of course not, bruja!”

“Then what? I can’t think of any other reason!”

Naalala ko na naman si Bailey Suldua. I know I shouldn’t feel sympathy for my enemy, yet my heart goes out to Ezequil. The way he writhed, endured his father’s rage, and bathed in his own blood is still vivid in my mind.

“Sa… sa’kin na iyon. I’ll tell you about it some… other time.” But wala talaga akong plano ipagsabi iyon. I’m not the type of person to gossip about Ezequil’s life. Labas na ako sa buhay niya.

“Bruja, be honest with me nga. Gusto mo na ba itong si Ezequil Suldua?”

Natigilan ako sa kanyang tanong. The question was just too simple yet I couldn’t answer her directly. Nag-isip pa ako!

“Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed when I recovered.

“Don’t ‘oh my gosh’ me, Zenver!”

“Why? You’re asking something horrendous, bruja! Did you hear yourself?!”

“My question was just simple, Zen. Yes or No lang ang sagot!”

“Of course, no!”

“Liar!” She accused.

“What?!”

“It’s written all over your face.”

“What the hell, bruja?!”

“Why? I’m just stating what I read on your face, Zen!”

I tsked nervously. “Hindi ba pwedeng threaten lang ako? Threaten lang ako because he’s my enemy pa rin, no!”

Tumawa lang siya at na-offend ako roon.

“My gosh, Zenith Verniz! Iba ang sinasabi mo sa nararamdaman mo!”

---

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CHAPTER 9

Chapter 9

My day started off terribly, and it was all because of Milan! How dare she say something so nonsensical? Tiningnan ko ang aking pagkain na para bang doon ko makikita ang solusyon dito sa nararamdaman ko. Naguguluhan ako, natatakot, at kinakabahan. Naguguluhan ako dahil hindi dapat ako nakakaramdam ng ganito. Natatakot ako na baka tama si Milan. At kinakabahan ako dahil baka walang saysay itong pagpatay ko sa sarili kong nararamdaman dahil huli na ang lahat.

My mind was in a haywire state because I mistook this feeling of mine for something else. Utang na loob pa ba ito? Baka hindi na nga ito awa at konsensya. Baka malalim na. But of course, hindi ako tanga. Kung ano man itong nararamdaman ko. Wala akong balak palakihin ito. Because, in the first place, I shouldn’t feel this way toward my enemy.

Ni hindi pa nga umusad iyong plano ko nagbackfire na kaagad siya sa akin. I hate this. I hate all of this!

“Zen, okay ka lang ba?” Biglang dumating si tita Aileen.

“Oo naman, tita!”

She shook her head softly and drew a chair close beside me, the legs scraping lightly against the wooden deck. Tita Aileen’s eyes wandered to the breathtaking view before us—the vast expanse of blue sea stretching endlessly, meeting the shore lined with powdery white sand. The water shimmered under the scorching midday sun, each ripple catching the light like scattered diamonds. Below, the lively chorus of laughter, playful squeals, and boisterous chatter rose from the beach, blending harmoniously with the occasional whisper of the sea breeze brushing past us.

“May problema ba, Zen?” sunod na tanong ni Tita, saglit siyang tumingin sa akin bago binalik ang mata sa harap.

Tita wore a loose, white oversized t-shirt paired with rugged, tattered maong shorts, her sunglasses perched casually atop her head. She sat with an effortless, boyish grace, folding one leg over the other as if completely at ease with the world.

“Wala, tita.”

“Aysus! Gagaya ka ba kay Cassidy na mahilig sarilihin ang problema?”

Ngumuso ako. Ginulo ng hangin ang suot kong manipis na polo na nakasara ang dalawang butones mula sa baba. Natatabunan ng polo ko ang aking maikli na shorts.

“Hindi naman, tita!”

“Ano ba ang iniisip mo? Hindi ka kumain ah.”

My eyes fell on my cold food. Nawalan na akong gana kumain dahil sa mga iniisip ko. Sino ba kasi ang gustong kumakain kapag naiisip mo ang rival mo? Sino ba ang gaganahan sa pagkain kung problema kaagad ang bubungad sa’yo?

“I’m still full, Tita,” I pouted, giving her the cutest puppy look I could muster.

“Tigilan mo ako d’yan, Zen. Aminado akong hindi ako perpektong tita sa’yo—sa inyo at hindi kaagad tayo nagkakilala pero hindi mo ako maloloko, Zen. Pwede kang magkunwari gamit ang salita mo pero hinding-hindi magsisinungaling ang mata mo.” Ngumisi si Tita sa akin.

Napaayos ako mula sa aking pagkakahilig sa silya. Suddenly, I feel something on my throat that starts to grow.

“Zen, nakita ko kayo ng mga kapatid mo na lumaki. Nakita kita kung papaano ka lumaki bilang isang bibo at magandang bata. Ngunit… anong nangyari, Zen?”

A wry smile surfaced on my lips. I played with my fingers above my lap.

“T-Tita…” I stammered, a lump beginning to form in my throat.

Tita Aileen’s warm palm gently rubbed my shoulder. “Makikinig ako, Zen. Kung komportable kang sabihin iyan sa’kin makikinig ako. And I promise na hindi ito makakarating sa Papadad mo o sa Daddy mo kung iyan ang kinakatakot mo.”

Lumabi ako kay Tita. My eyes began to feel warm—a telltale sign of the tears welling up, gathering at the corners. Slowly, my vision blurred, the world around me dissolving behind a veil of emotion.

“Tita… tingin ko po napag-iiwanan na ako.”

Yes, aside from my predicament with Ezequil’s presence, which is beginning to corrupt my system, I am also burdened by my stagnant life. I feel like I have reached the plateau of my life, yet there’s still something missing. I was at the peak, but I still yearn for more!

I feel like my efforts aren’t appreciated. I feel like no one sees what I do. I’m always behind Kuya Zyrho. I’m always beneath Zhuri. I was at the peak, but I’m still living under their shadow.

My parents didn’t lack anything when it came to raising us. They were always available whenever we needed them. They showered us with affection and attention. They didn’t fall short in raising us, whether in tangible or intangible ways.

Tingin ko ako ang may mali—ang may pagkukulang. Naibibigay naman kasi ng family ko ang mga bagay-bagay na nais ko. Pero pakiramdam ko may kulang pa rin na hindi ko mapunto.

“Zen,” inusog ni Tita ang silya palapit sa akin at niyakap ang ako.

Tinago ko ang mukha ko sa balikat ni Tita.

“Natatakot din ako, Tita. I think I will only bring trouble and disgrace to my family. I don’t know what to do, Tita.”

For a moment, Tita Aileen didn’t say anything. She simply let me lean on her shoulder and allowed me to pour out my heart without interruption.

The peace that followed after crying my eyes out was so serene. My heart was pounding, but it didn’t hurt. I felt as if something heavy had been lifted from my shoulders—something I had been carrying for a long time.

“Namumula na ang mga mata at ilong mo.” I let Tita wipe my wet face. “Malaki ka na, Zen, at pwede nang mag-asawa pero tingin ko ikaw pa rin iyong Zen na madaldal at palangiti noon. Ikaw pa rin ang Zen na nag-aaya sa akin na mangolekta ng seashells d’yan sa labas.”

“And ikaw pa rin ang Tita ko na hindi ako natitiis!”

“Hmm!”

Inayos ni Tita ang buhok ko.

“Zen, hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyayari ngayon sa buhay mo pero huwag kang matakot. Kung alam mo lang noon na ikaw ang sunshine ng pamilya mo. Hindi mo man alam o nakikita, pero sigurado akong proud sa’yo si Cassidy at Tyson. Iyong mga kapatid mo, I’m sure they’re so thankful to have a sibling like you. You bring something in your family na ikaw lang ang nakakagawa. Ikaw nga ang rainbow princess ni Tyson, eh!”

“D-do you think so, tita?”

“Mmm! Isipin mo na lang, Zen, na para kang ilaw sa pamilya ninyo. Ikaw ang nagbibigay ng linawag sa kanila. Linawag na nakakapagpasaya sa pamilya mo, liwanag na hindi nawawalan ng lakas.” Pinisil ni Tita ang cheeks ko. “Don’t compare yourself to anyone. Everyone has their own timing. Everyone experiences their own wins and losses. You shine in this world because you are special—unique.”

Niyakap ako ni Tita. I allow myself to be vulnerable in Tita’s arms. Okay rin naman pala ang ganito. Okay lang naman ang maging mahina paminsan-minsan. Nakakagaan din pala siya sa damdamin.

That’s why I was so eager to prove myself to my family—I was hungry for recognition. I was so caught up in comparing myself to my siblings that I forgot my own self in the process. I was blinded by my own ego.

At nang dahil doon umabot ako sa desisyong gumamit ng tao para pansarili kong gusto. I was in this pit right now because of my own doing. Walang ibang sisisihin kung hindi ang sarili ko lang.

“Siya nga pala, kumusta kayo no’ng pamangkin ni Jefferson? Balita ko nagyate pala kayo kahapon.” Biglang tanong ni Tita sa akin.

Napaahon ako mula sa pagkakayakap ko sa kanya. Sinimangutan ko si Tita.

“Ano? Pinakitaan ka na ba no’n?” Tukso niya.

“Tita!” Annoyed kong sabi.

“Friends lang kami ni Jet, tita. Gusto lang no’n ng company at nagmabuting loob lang ako na samahan siya.”

“Sigurado ka ba d’yan? Naku! Gwapo pa naman ang batang iyon!”

“He’s gwapo, tita, but not my type!”

Tita Aileen waggled her eyebrows. Her playful expression somehow lifted my gloomy mood from earlier. I think this was the best part of my vacation so far. I was lost, but after talking to Tita, I finally found my way back to myself.

Ngayon ang iisipin ko na lang ay si Ezequil at ang kanyang presensya na parang naninirahan na sa akin. Bwesit iyon!

“Bakit? Sino ba ang type mo? Iyon bang kausap mo kagabi sa restaurant sa baba? Iyong kasama ninyo ni Jet?”

My jaw dropped to the ground, and my eyes grew wide.

“T-tita!”

“Hahaha, bakit nauutal ka d’yan? Pero mas gwapo nga iyon kaysa kay Jet. Mukha lang malupit at istriktong tao.”

Thankfully, Tita Aileen didn’t know about the Sulduas, especially Brixx Ezequil!

“Saan ang gwapo roon, tita? I don’t like him!”

“Naku ang defensive mo naman, Zen. Hindi naman ako nagtatanong kung gusto mo ba iyong tao.”

“Stop it na, Tita!” Inis kong sambit. She was fishing an answer through her wicked questions and I took the bait blindedly!

“Okay, okay, titigil na pero kumain ka na. Saka wala ka bang itinerary ngayon? O gustong puntahan?”

Umiling ako kay Tita. Plano ko lang sigurong matulog ngayon o maglakad-lakad sa labas kapag hindi na maaraw.

“Bakit hindi mo subukang pumunta sa ibang isla, Zen? Balita ko kasi may foam party raw doon mamayang gabi. Ipapahatid kita kung gusto mo. Saka kung magmumok ka rito mas lalo ka lang mabuburyo.” Tita offered.

I mentally take note of Tita Aileen’s suggestions. After I eat nagpa-room service ako for a full body massage. Dinalhan ako ni Tita Aileen ng snack by the afternoon. Habang kumakain ako ay tumawag naman sila si Papadad at Daddy sa akin.

“Umuwi ka na rito, Zen. Miss ka na namin.” It was Papadad, and on his back was Daddy, hugging him and sniffing Papadad’s neck.

Halos araw-araw kong nakikitang ganon ang parents ko pero kapag naghaharutan sila kinikilig pa rin ako. Hindi sila nakakasawang tingnan.

“Pinapatanong ng daddy mo, Zen, kung wala ba raw’ng lalaki d’yan sa room mo.”

Nilibot ko ang camera sa buong kwarto upang matahimik ang aking ama.

“Okay ka ng magboyfriend o mag-asawa, Zen. Basta ipakilala mo muna sa amin. Huwag mong intindihin ang daddy mo, hmm?”

“Love!” Daing naman ni Daddy sa likod ni Papadad. Pinanggigilan ni Daddy ang mukha ni Papadad at pinugpog ito ng halik. Biro pa itong kumagat sa leeg ni Papadad.

“Laway mo, Tyson Maranzano!”

“Oh, I know you like it, love. You love my fluids—”

“Ahh, sige na, Zen. Sinumpong na naman ang daddy mo. Mag-iingat ka d’yan, okay? I love you!”

“I love you, rainbow princess.”

I smiled, waving my hand at them. “I love you, Daddy! I love you, Papadad! Please use protection, okay?”

I saw Papadad’s ears flush before they turned off the phone.

Dahil naburyo ako sa kwarto naisipan kong sundin ang suggestions ni Tita Aileen sa akin na pumunta sa ibang isla. Explore na rin. Yayayain ko sana si Jet kaso nang itext ko siya ay nagcheckout na pala siya sa hotel dahil uuwi muna raw siya ng Cebu dahil may kailangan siyang ilakad na papers. Babawi raw siya at ito-tour niya ako sa Cebu.

“Ayaw mo bang samahan kita roon?” Usisa ni Tita sa akin. Hinatid niya kaso ako sa boat na aking sasakyan.

“No need na, tita. I’ll just keep you updated na lang.”

“Sige. Mag-iingat ka ha.”

Tumango ako kay Tita. Isinukbit ko ang aking knitted na tote bag sa aking balikat bago tinanggap ang kamay ni Manong na siyang maghahatid sa akin sa kabilang isla.

Madilim na nang makarating ako sa isla na tinutukoy ni Tita Aileen. The sky glows with a gradient of orange fading into violet. At kahit na kakakagat palang ng gabi ay nakita kong marami nang tao. Halos naka-bikini ang lahat ng nakikita kong girls at ang boys naman ay shorts.

May live DJ sa stage, may mga drinks, at umuulan ng bola sa ere.

“Hey!”

Nagulat ako nang may bumundol sa likod ko kaya lumingon ako. It was a foreign guy. Blonde ang kanyang buhok at sobrang tangkad niya! Ngumingisi pa siya sa akin bitbit ang dalawang cup ng drinks.

“I’m sorry…” Bahagya siyang napatigil at pinasadahan ako ng tingin. “Miss?”

Sa tono ng kanyang pananalita na parang mahangin at sa kanyang accent, mukhang British ito. Parang kinakain na niya ang English niya.

Umiling ako. “No,”

“Sorry,” friendly niyang untag.

“It’s fine.”

“Drink?” aniya at nilahad sa akin ang isang baso.

I don’t wanna be rude. Siya ang unang lalaki na nag-approach sa akin dito kaya tinanggap ko ang baso.

He beamed.

Medyo lumapit siya sa akin at bumulong. “Are you from here?” He slurred over my ears. Malakas kasi ang music at nagwawala na ang mga tao.

“Yeah, how about you?”

“I’m only here on vacation.” sagot niya. “But you don’t look Filipino.”

I smirked. “I got my genes from my father.”

“That explains it.”

Napatango ako. “I hope you’re enjoying your vacation so far. How do you like the Philippines?”

He smiled widely. “I’m loving it here. The people are so friendly and good at communicating. It feels like everyone knows English.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“By the way, I’m Josh.” He extended his hand.

“Zen,” I said, pulling my hand out to shake his.

Hindi ko muna ininom ang bigay na inumin ni Josh nag-enjoy muna ako at nakikipagtawanan sa mga tao. Ang daming mga foreigners! Si Josh naman ay hindi ako nilulubayan! Medyo hindi na ako komportable kasi umaabot na ang kamay niya sa buttocks ko!

I jumped along with the crowd as the music went wild, the pounding beat electrifying the air. I tossed my cup high into the air before chugging it down in one swift gulp. The massive LED screen at the front and the swirling disco lights were the only sources of illumination, casting vibrant colors across the energized crowd.

Napatigil ako sa aking pagtatalon at sayaw nang maramdaman ko ang pagkahilo. The heck! What’s wrong with me? Hindi naman ako mabilis malasing. Ano itong nangyayari sa akin?

Iyong mga paningin ko parang umiikot na sila at para na akong lumulutang. Nabitiwan ko ang baso at pinukpok ko ang aking ulo. Niyakap ko ang basa at manipis kong polo sa aking katawan. Ngunit ilang saglit lang ay may yumakap na sa baywang ko.

“Zen, are you okay?”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “J-Josh?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Malandi niyang untag at saka yumakap sa akin.

I pushed him, but my strength has no match to him. Masyadong malamya ang aking pagtulak sa kanya.

Kinilabutan ako nang bumaba ang mukha ni Josh sa leeg ko! I wanted to shout, however something was wrong with my throat. Parang walang lumalabas na boses. Wala akong lakas!

“J-Josh, no! N-no!” My frail protest.

I felt his lips brush against my neck, his teeth lightly grazing my skin—just before he could bite or suck, a strong, forceful hand yanked me away from Josh.

“Zen? Zenver, are you alright? Can you hear me?!”

Tumingala ako sa kung sinong humaklit sa akin. The shade of his ocean eyes deepened, darkening like a stormy sea. His scent, his grip—everything about him felt achingly familiar, stirring memories I thought were buried.

“E-Ezequil,” I whispered softly, my voice trembling as I rested my head against his chest.

---

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CHAPTER 10

Chapter 10

The door closed with a loud bang, echoing in my ears and through every corner of the house. My eyes were groggy, weary, and blurry. No matter how much I squinted, it felt like something was pulling my eyelids shut.

The thin fabric of my clothes clung to my damp skin, sticking to me like a second layer I couldn’t peel off. I was wet and sticky from the bubbles earlier, the residue clinging to me as if refusing to let go.

My world finally stopped spinning when Ezequil set me down on the cold, hard tiles. I blinked, disoriented, then looked around—a bathroom. I had no idea if it was his house or someone else’s. All I remembered was us rushing through the door, me slung over his shoulder like a sack of rice.

“Oh, it’s so hot!” I groaned and started to undo the buttons of my polo. I was about to take it off when a firm hand grasped mine—like a vein pulsing with urgency—stopping me from undressing my soaked clothes.

My eyes trailed to the owner of the hand. Of course. Who else could it be? No other than the man I needed to see, now standing just a meter away from me. He stood there like a statue—jaw clenched tightly, veins bulging from his neck and arms.

I ran my tongue across my lips and bit them gently as I stepped closer to him. Sa bawat hakbang ko paabante, paurong naman siyang humahakbang.

I didn’t dare tear my eyes away from his. I could feel the burn beneath those long lashes. Behind his ocean eyes, I was drowning in a fire that surged through me like a toxic drug.

“Don’t you dare take another step forward, Zen!” Ezequil thundered.

I giggled.

His eyes darkened.

I didn’t know what the hell was happening to my body—but I liked how affected he was.I liked how bothered he seemed by my presence.I liked knowing I could disturb him with just a glance.

He was panicking beneath my deadly stare, but I didn’t care.

I took a bold step forward and yanked his collar closer to me.

He grunted, as if I’d touched a fresh wound.

“Kiss me,” I challenged, trapping his troubled gaze with my vixen eyes.

“Zen!” He roared.

I rubbed my body against his.

Nanginig siya sa pagdikit ng mga basa naming balat. Malalaki ang naging lunok niya habang nakatingin sa mga mata ko. Konting push na lang sa kanya ay bibigay na rin siya. Wala akong pakialam kung pumalatak man ang ngipin niya sa pagtitimpi ngayon!

“Why? You don’t want to kiss me? Should I let Josh do it instead?”“

“Stop talking!”

“Hmp!” I tiptoed, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Fuck!”

“Why should I stop, hmm? Tell me, Ezequil—don’t you want to kiss me? I may not be a good kisser, but I’m a fast learner. Teach me how to do it right!”“

“You’re drunk!” Namumula na siya sa pagtitimpi!

I sneered at him. Kahit sa gitna ng nagsasayawan kong mata ay klaro pa rin sa paningin ko ang pamumula niya sa pagtitimpi sa akin. Ang kanyang panga ay mas kumuyom pa nga ng todo.

“What if I am?”

“You’re going to regret this afterwards!”

“At least nahalikan mo na ako!” Maswerte pa nga siya kung ganon, hindi ba?

Shit! Nangangalay na ang paa ko kakatingkayad!

“Lift me! Masakit na ang paa ko!” Maarte kong utos sa kanya.

“Zen,” konsumisyon niya pero binuhat niya pa rin ako. Hindi niya ako natitiis!

I flashed a wicked smile the moment he started walking toward the shower room.

Just before we stepped inside, I tilted my head toward his and captured his parted lips in a hungry kiss.

Oh my gosh—he tasted divine. His lips were firm, but not in a way that overwhelmed me. Their perfect balance of thickness and tenderness sent a sinful thrill through me—so right, it felt deliciously wrong.

It was my first time kissing him. No’ng nasa bar kami ay muntik na niya akong halikan pero umiwas ako. Ngayon ako ang nag-initiate. Siguro nga dala ito ng alak na nainom ko kanina.

My morals and inhibitions seemed to slip away the moment my lips met his. The weight of the situation hit me—enough to terrify me. I had been avoiding this, denying it, refusing to acknowledge any part of it. And yet, here I was, surrendering myself to the predator, to the lion, to the one who could very well be my undoing.

Ewan ko ba, kasi gustong-gusto kong humalik ngayon. Gusto kong mahawakan ang katawan ko. Gusto kong ilabas itong init ngayon sa katawan ko. Naliliyo ako sa init na parang kumukulo sa loob ng aking katawan. Para bang kung hindi ko ito mailabas ay sasabog ako.

Napahawak si Ezequil sa hamba ng pintuan papasok ng banyo pero ang isa niyang kamay ay mahigpit na nakagapos sa baywang ko—dahilan para hindi ako mahulog ng tuluyan.

“Kiss me already!” I hissed in between our lock lips.

Dumiin ang kamay niya sa baywang ko bago niya ako sinandal sa salamin na dingding. Biglain ang kilos niyang iyon kaya medyo malakas ang impak ng katawan ko sa dingding.

Umawang ang labi ko kaso sinugod naman ni Ezequil ang bibig ko. Humihimod ng kanyang dila sa loob ng bibig ko na parang naghahanap ng kung ano sa loob ng aking bibig.

My fingers buried themselves in his hair, tugging at the strands as his tongue delved deeper into my mouth like a drill. Behind my closed lids, my eyes rolled back from the sensation of Ezequil’s possessive, firm, and unrelenting tongue.

He kept shifting his angle, his kisses growing harsher, more ravenous. Our saliva mixed, our tongues fencing wildly inside the heat of our joined mouths.

I swallowed a moan when Ezequil captured my tongue and sucked it again. I tasted something metallic—faint and sharp—in the midst of our feverish exchange.

A whimper escaped me under his mouth. His pace changed. The slow pull and suck left me dazed. His groans, mingled with my cries, lingered in the air like a hypnotic stereo, drawing us deeper into madness.

Ramdam ko ang pamimigat ng hininga ni Ezequil sa  pagitan ng bibig namin. Muli niya akong binuhat upang makawala sa pagkakasandal sa dingding at saka binaba.

He pulled away from our long French kiss. My mouth hung open like a tight band that had been stretched too far. He ran a finger across my swollen lips. He lowered his head, and I thought he was going to claim my lips again—until cold water suddenly poured over my head.

I closed my eyes tightly. Bumitiw ako mula sa pagkakayakap ko sa kanyang leeg at naghilamos ako sa aking mukha. Para akong apoy na biglang sinabuyan ng tubig!

When I opened my eyes, they bulged out as I saw Ezequil standing right in front of me. He was drenched, water cascading down his mouthwatering body! The water trickled down in a slow, deliberate manner, as if taking its time.

Shit! Did I just say mouthwatering? I must be going mad!

I shook my head vehemently.

My face twisted into a wince. “What are you doing here?!”

Bumuntonghininga siya na para bang inaasahan na niya ang sasabihin ko. Bigo siyang umiling.

“What do you think?” Mahina niyang usal ngunit nando’n ang diin at seryoso sa kanyang boses.

I shuddered all of a sudden! What the hell?

Nilibot ko ang aking mata. Nasa shower room kami!  At hindi ako pamilyar sa interior ng shower room na ’to! Definitely wala ko sa resort namin!

Wait! Anong nangyayari?!

Shit! Of course, wala talaga kasi nasa ibang isla pala ako!

“Nawala na ba ang epekto ng drugs sa’yo?”

“D-drugs?”

Nanlaki ang mata ko nang mapagtanto ko ang kanyang sinabi!

That foreigner! That fucking British guy! Damn him! Fuck him to death! He drugged me!

I’m fuming mad! I let my guard down and I was taken advantage of that guy. How foolish of me?!

Tumingin ako kay Ezequil. Basang-basa siya. Magulo ang kanyang buhok at namumula ang mga labi—dumudugo pa nga! Dahil hindi naman naka-butones ang kanyang polo kita ko ang matigas niyang katawan at namumula ang banda sa leeg!

Bumaba pa ang aking mata. I gulped when I saw how huge he was down there! His thick and voluminous cock was slightly splayed to one side, and it was hard not to notice.

Kumiyom ang kanyang kamay at doon ko nakita na namumula iyon at may galos.

I marched toward the shower room door, but he stopped me before I could reach the threshold.

“What? I’ll kill that bastard who dared to drug me!”

He sighed heavily. “It’s too late.”

“Huh?”“

“He’s now limping in the hospital.”

Kumunot ang noo ko sa pagtataka sa kanyang mga sinasabi.

“I beat him. I made sure he wouldn’t be able to stand for months,” he explained. “Now, maligo ka at magbihis. I’ll get your clothes ready.”

Tumalikod siya sa akin.

“Wait!” Pigil ko sa kanya.

“N-nasaan ako?”

Ilang beses tumaas-baba ang kanyang balikat.

“In my villa.” Sagot niya at tuluyan akong iniwan!

Naligo ako tulad ng kanyang utos at kahit hindi niya ako utusan maliligo ako dahil basa na naman ako. Thankfully, when I stepped out of the shower room, there was a towel and clothes on top of the stool. I guess nilagay iyon ni Ezequil doon for me.

Before, I went out tiningnan ko muna ang sarili ko sa salamin. Ang suot kong white t-shirt ay hanggang sa gitna ng hita ko at halos matabunan na no’n ang suot kong boxer shorts (unused siya since ako pa ang kumuha no’ng tag).

Nanliit ang mata ko nang makita kong may konting sugat ang labi ko.

‘Kaya pala mahapdi siya kanina!’

I grimaced when I touch the fresh cut. Pilit kong inaalala kung saan ko nakuha ang sugat sa aking labi ngunit mabilis akong nagsisi!

Nasapo ko ang aking ulo habang nakatingin sa repleksyon ko sa salamin. Did it really happen? Tumingin ako sa buong banyo. It was clear in my mind that what was playing inside my head was in this toilet and bathroom!

Ginawa ko talaga siya? Did I just jump myself into Ezequil and challenge him to kiss me?

Halos maiyak ako sa harap ng salamin! Papaano ko siya haharapin nito ngayon? Lasing din ba siya? Nakainom? But it was impossible since he was so composed earlier! Shit!

Pinapak ko ang aking daliri at napamartsa sa loob ng banyo! Just wow! Parang kahapon lang pinapatay ko siya sa isip at panaginip ko. Tapos ngayon hinalkan ko na! It feels like I’ve chugged down my own poison!

“Zen?”

Napatalon ako sa gulat nang biglang kumatok si Ezequil sa pinto.

“What?!”

“Tapos ka na ba?”

“And?”

“May niluto akong pagkain. Just in case you want to eat.”

I didn’t reply and went out of the bathroom. Hindi ako makatingin sa kanya nang deretso nang mamataan ko siya sa isang biloging mesa at nando’n ang umuusok na pagkain.

Bigla akong nagutom!

I roamed my eyes around until I spotted the wall clock. It was already 12 AM!

“Where’s my bag? Aalis na ako. Hindi ako kakain since hindi naman ako gutom.” Pagtataray ko sa gitna ng gutom.

My pride is more important than my hungry stomach!

Nginuso niya ang bag ko na nasa sofa. Akmang lalapit na ako roon kaso nagsalita siya.

“Kumain ka muna at saka hindi ka makakaalis.”

Natawa ako. He is really persistent! Nice!

May sarkastikong ngisi sa labi ko nang balingan ko siya. My eyes landed on his lips. Not now! Qala akong panahon para halik na iyon! I was under the influence of drug that time!

“What? Hindi mo ako papauwiin? Ikukulong mo ako rito sa villa mo? Do you want war, Ezequil?”

He grinned and crossed his long legs.

Bigla namang pumasok sa isip ko ang kanyang pagkalalaki kanina na nakatabingi! Shit!

“I know I said I would mess with you, Zen, but I’m not a psychopath to do what you suggested. I still want to be with you. I still want to pursue you. So, I don’t want a war.”

Sumama ang mukha ko. “Eh, bakit sinabi mong hindi ako makakaalis, ha!”

“Malakas ang ulan at alon sa labas. May bagyo.” At pagkatapos niyang sabihin iyon bigla namang kumidlat sa labas, like a paid actor in his stead!

“What?! Are you serious?!” My heart pounded.

“Hmm! Lahat ng byahe ngayon suspended. Walang pinapalayag sa dagat dahil nakataas ang warning.”

“Oh my gosh!”

“Kaya kumain ka na rito—”

“No! Alis ako rito. Ayokong kasama ka. I will find myself a hotel room or somewhere to stay.”

“Unfortunately, the island’s hotels are fully booked because there are a lot of tourists right now.”

Nanginginig ang boses kong tumawa. “Tell me you’re kidding me!”

Like an idiot who just fucking won the lottery, Ezequil smiled at me triumphantly.

Shit! I wanted to punch him right then! Damn the weather! Damn all of this!

“I’m afraid I’m not, my queen!”

My shoulders sank to the floor from his answer.

---

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CHAPTER 11

Chapter 11

Ayaw ko man. Labag man sa loob ko pero umupo ako sa kabilang silya na nasa tapat ni Ezequil. Ngayon pa talaga na gusto ko siyang iwasan ay mas minalas pa ako. I’m now stranded on this island with him — and in his villa! Shit!

I already texted Tita Aileen about my situation, but she can’t rescue me right now because of the bad weather. Nagtext na lang din siya sa akin na mag-ingat ako rito at sana raw nakapag-book kaagad ako ng hotel na aking tutuluyan. Pero dahil minamalas ako—I’m stuck in Ezequil’s place!

I eyed the food on the table. There was a sunny-side-up egg, bacon, fried rice, and a glass of coffee. Takam na takam na talaga ko kaso ayaw kong ipahalata sa kanya. Ang pride ko! Ang pride ko na lang ang meron ako ngayon sa harapan ng lalaking ito.

“I’m not very good at cooking, but I did try my best not to burn the eggs and bacon.” Mahina niyang sabi. Pumapapel ba ito sa akin?

Kahit sunog ang ihain niya ngayon sa harapan ko ay kakain ko dahil nagwawala na ang tiyan ko.

“Let’s eat.” Dugtong niya.

Hindi ako umimik pero tumango ako sa kanya. Sumandok ako ng no’ng fried rice niya at itlog. I inwardly groan as the smell of bacon assaults my nose—I’m already salivating deep inside.

While chewing the food in my mouth, I turn my head toward the nearby transparent glass window. I watch as lightning streaks across the dark sky, and raindrops cascade down the pane.

Nakikita kong malakas ang ulan sa labas pero hindi siya naririnig dito sa loob ng kwarto. The silence between us makes me sick. The clatter of our utensils, the hum of the aircon—I can almost hear our breathing because no one dares to break the silence.

What the hell did I just get myself into? I just wanted to have fun. I purposely left our resort to kill my boredom—and, of course, to purge my mind of Ezequil. The man I tried to bury and erase from my thoughts is now sitting right in front of me. It’s like fate is slapping me in the face, making sure I can’t escape this hellhole. I’ve fallen into this mess, and there’s no turning back.

I’m already full. Ezequil said he was good at cooking—and damn it, the food was good. Siguro dahil simpleng fry lang naman ang ginawa niya tapos gutom pa ako kaya masarap na ang lahat na ipasok ko sa bibig ko.

I took a slow sip of my coffee, letting the warmth seep through me, washing over my cold, shaken system. For a moment, I felt more grounded—steadier. But even as my hands stilled, my mind and heart remained adrift, lost in a daze I couldn’t quite escape. Parang bumagsak ang lahat ng takot at pangamba.

“Hindi ka ba nahihilo?” Finally, Ezequil broke the long silence between us.

“I’m fine now. Thank you. Just a little headache, but it’s tolerable.”

But of course, I wasn’t able to say those two words in the middle. Thank you only lingered on the tip of my tongue.

“Maybe the drug wasn’t that potent.”

“Yeah,” I croaked.

Hindi ako mapakali sa aking kinauupuan dahil pakiramdam ko sinusundan ako ng mga mata ni Ezequil. Ewan ko lang kung assuming lang ba ako o overthinker? O baka silang dalawa sinalo ko na.

Hindi ko rin siya magawang tingnan ng matagal sa mata dahil tingin ko mahahalata niya ang pagkabalisa ko. I feel like a sheet of glass—bare, transparent—like he could see straight through me, read every thought and emotion with just one glance.

“S-so, might tell me. Kung ano ang nangyari doon sa foam party?” I glanced at him for a fleeting second before lowering my gaze to the dark swirl of my coffee, suddenly finding it easier to face the steam than the storm in his eyes. Malapit na siyang maubos.

“Wala kang maalala roon?”

Nag-fake cough ako.

“All I remember is you bringing me here. Everything that happened at the foam party is a blur in my mind.”

“But you remember that guy?” he said through gritted teeth.

“Si Josh?” Nagtagpo ang kilay ko.

His face turned grim. “Tsk!”

“Of course, naalala ko siya dahil siya ang nagbigay no’ng drinks sa akin!” Punto ko. “He was the guy who first approached me, which is why I cordially accepted the drink. I’m just being kind.” And I don’t know why I’m even explaining myself here. Dammit!

“Kung hindi ako dumating baka kung saan ka na dinala ng lalaking iyon, Zenith Verniz!”

Kumibot ang bibig ko. Gusto kong gumanti sa kanya ngunit wala akong makapa ni isang salita.

“That guy…” Kumuyom ang kanyang kamay sa ibabaw ng mesa. “He took advantage of your innocence!”

“I’m not… that innocent!”

“Yeah!” Patuya niya.

“Totoo! Ayaw ko lang maging rude sa tourist na iyon kaya tinanggap ko ang drinks. Hindi ko naman alam na may drugs iyon! I’m not that crazy para inumin ang alak na may drugs, okay!”

“Hindi mo kasi alam na sa mga gano’ng event ay may mga nagkakalat talagang ganon.”

“Nakakalusot?”

“There’s a syndicate everywhere, Zen.”

“At least…” I’m here and safe because of you! “At least hindi natuloy ni Josh ang binabalak niya sa akin.”

Dumilim ang mg mata niya.

“I caused a little chaos out there. I left him barely alive. And after that, I brought you here.” Maikli niyang paliwanag.

Napatingin ako sa nakakuyom niyang kamao. Namumula pa rin iyon at may konting galos. Ang tigas pala ng mukha ni Josh!

“Kaya ka ba… nasugatan?”

Tumingin siya roon sa kamao. Tinago niya iyon sa ilalim ng mesa.

“It was nothing.”

“Gumawa ka ng eksena roon.” Pumikit ako. Shit! Bakit ba inaalala ko siya lagi? I’m really doom, do I?

“Don’t worry about it—”

“Don’t worry about it. But what if your evil father finds out? He might beat you up again! At tatanggapin mo ulit ang mga suntok at sipa niya! Ezequil, you don’t have to put yourself in a dangerous situation because of—”

“Because of you?” He cut me off.

I sighed.

“Ezequil, I don’t want to have to repeat myself over and over again, but please think about what I said last time!”

“What? Ano ba ang sinabi mo last time?”

Muntik na akong mapasabunot sa aking buhok dahil sa kanyang sinabi. Nagmamaang-maangan ba siya? Sinusubok niya talaga ako! Nakaka-frustrate siya!

“That we should go back to being strangers!” Mariin kong sabi.

Mapakla siyang tumawa. “And like what I said to you last time…” Pagbibitin niya. Malapit ko na siyang sabuyan nitong nanlalamig kong kape! “I don’t want to!” He emphasized.

“Ezequil, I know na ako ang unang lumapit sa’yo.” Pumikit ako ng mariin. “Ang unang lumandi… ng konti… pero hindi mo naman kailangang gumanti ng ganito sa akin!”

“Hindi ako gumaganti, Zen.”

I looked at him. Helpless. Mukhang hindi ko na siya mapipilit. Malabo na yatang mabago pa ang kanyang desisyon!

“Ezequil,”

“Yes, at first, I didn’t like you hanging around me. I didn’t want you near me or flirting with me. But you triggered something in me, Zen. You awakened my sleeping desire for you!”

“Gosh!” I exclaimed, exaggerating.

“I’m in this game—if it’s still a game for you, Zen. I’m glad to be a player in it. Or whatever it is you’re up to. But I’m telling you… I’m serious. I’m serious about my feelings and intentions. To hell with our names. I don’t care that you’re a Maranzano.”

I was about to retaliate when a phone ringing interrupted us. Hindi ko iyong ringtone kaya malamang sa kanya iyon.

Pairap akong umiwas ng tingin sa kanya. Tumayo ako bitbit ang aking coffee.

“Where are you going?” tanong niya nang tumayo ako.

“Sa labas. Answer that call.” sabi ko at tinalikuran siya.

As I stepped out, I was greeted by the rich scent of wood mixed with the faint saltiness of the ocean air that crept in through a slightly ajar window. The spacious room, warm with ambient light and soft textures, offered comfort from the storm outside. White curtains danced gently with each breeze, as if they too were enjoying the change in weather.

Umupo ako sa isang sofa na nasa tapat ng transparent na salamin. Rain tapped steadily against the villa’s wide glass windows—soft and rhythmic.

Matapos kong inumin ang aking kape ay saka ko pa naalala na hindi ko pala dala ang aking phone. Tumayo ako at tumungo sa silid ngunit hindi pa ako nakakapasok ay narinig ko na ang galit na boses ni Ezequil.

“I don’t fucking care, Pa!”

“She’s fine on her own! I’m not her babysitter!”

“I’m somewhere right now! Hindi ako makakapunta sa kanya.”

“I’ll go home soon.”

I clenched my fists before dragging my feet back to the sofa.. Humalumbaba ako sa sandalan no’ng sofa at tumingin sa labas. Hindi na ganon ka lakas ang kidlat sa labas. Despite the chaos of nature outside, the room inside was still and calm.

But my situation was the opposite. I was calm on the outside, but inside, I was at war. Warring because my emotions were slowly corrupting my mind. My logic was no longer strong, and my mind was adrift at sea.

A long tear suddenly fell from my eyes. My heart tightened at the thought that I had now accepted. Matagal ko na siyang iniiwasan. Ayaw ko siyang aminin. Natatakot ako sa salitang iyon.

My eyes fluttered as I looked at the dark, wailing skies. I stared at the sky as if begging it to enlighten my mind. I looked up, silently asking for clarity.

God! Why him, of all people? Bakit sa kaaway pa namin? Bakit sa taong iyon pa?

I can accept whoever that guy is, pero bakit si Ezequil pa? Bakit siya pa?

Humawak ako sa dibdib ko at pumikit. Pumatak ang mga luha. It felt like a heartbreaking realization. Liking him was like scattering half of my heart. It was too late for me to run away from the fire anymore. I had thrown myself into this fire, and now I have no choice but to let myself burn. I’m hurting, but I have no choice but to let the fire consume me.

Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako sa gano’ng position. Naalimpungatan na lang ako na para akong lumulutang at dahil sa pagod ko, hindi ko na lang iyon inintindi at nagpatangay na lang sa antok.

Nang magising ako ay nagtaka ako nang nasa kama na ako. Gusto ko sang gumalaw kaso hirap akong igalaw ang aking katawan. Napatingin ako aking katawan. May malaking braso na nakagapos sa aking katawan!

What the hell?

Gumalaw ako at humarap dito.

Bríxx Ezequil!

Shit! Ang lakas ng loob niya!

I wanted to punch him and scratch his handsome face, but I was held captive between his strong arms. Yet, he looked so calm and serene in his sleep, as if he hadn’t beaten a man last night.

I glanced at the clock. Umaga na. It was already 7 AM, but it was still dark outside because of the bad weather.

Hindi na lang ako gumalaw at tiningnan ko siya. Gwapo talaga siya. Dito ba ako nahulog? Of course hindi, dahil sa dami ng sperm sa bahay ay umay na umay na ako.

But watching him this close… shit! Ganito ba talaga kapag gusto mo ang isang tao? Gwapong-gwapo ka na sa mukha? Hindi ka na nauumay?

Pilit kong kinuha ang kamay ko na naipit sa kanyang braso. Sadya kong pinasadahan ang kanyang makapal na kilay. Sunod kong t-in-race ang kanyang pointed na ilong at ang kanyang makinis na mukha. Though mas makinis pa ang mukha ko rito. I ran my fingers along his jawline when he opened his eyes.

At parang pusa na nahuling kumakain ng isda sa mesa, mabilis kong nilayo ang kamay ko mula sa kanyang mukha pero mabilis niyang nahuli ang kamay ko at binalik sa kanyang mukha.

Namumungay ang kanyang mga mata sa umaga. Parang ang linaw ng kanyang asul na mata ngayon. His lips tugged upward into a smile.

“Good morning, my queen!” he said in a low, deep voice that made my heart leap.

“L-let go of me!” I snorts.

“You wanted to touch me?”

“A-ano?!” Nahihintakutan kong sambit.

Hinawakan ko lang siya pero nagmamalabis na siya! Napaka niya!

“Touch me wherever you want.”

“Ezequil,”

Hindi ba siya kinikilabutan?

“I won’t get mad, Zen. I even yearn for your touch.”

“Shut up!” Pinandilatan ko siya sa mata ko.

“Zen,”

“What!” Singhal ko.

Sinisigawan ko na siya at tinatarayan kaso natutuwa siya sa ginagawa ko! Gusto niya yata itong nag-aalburuto na ako!

“I have a proposal.”

“P-proposal?”

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko na nasa kanyang mukha.

“I know na magmamatigas ka talaga. Ayaw mo sa akin dahil sa apilyedo ko which is hindi ko naman mababago. Kaya naisip ko…”

“Naisip mo na ako?”

“Naisip ko na habang nandito tayo sa isla—dito sa Palawan, na kalimutan muna natin ang mga apilyedo natin. Let’s pretend that you’re just Zenith Verniz and I’m just Brixx Ezequil.”

“N-nothing serious? Kakalimutan din natin ang lahat when we go back to Manila?” Pagkaklaro ko.

Perhaps this is the solution to my predicament. I don’t need to confess my feelings, yet we can do whatever we want.

Humingang malalim si Ezequil. “Yes…”

“Just like a game?”

Dahan-dahan siyang tumango. “Yeah, like a game.” Usal nito na parang nahihirapan!

---

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CHAPTER 12

Chapter 12

This feels like suicide. What am I even doing here in the kitchen? Well, I’m watching Ezequil cook our breakfast. He won’t let me help—he just wants me to sit and watch him move gracefully around the kitchen of his villa. And who is Ezequil? Siya lang naman ang sinasabi kong kaaway ng pamilya namin pero ngayon pinagmamasdan ko na para bang aliw na aliw ako! Hirap akong putulin ang titig ko sa kanya. Akala mo naman mawawala kung mawawaglit ko ang aking mata sa kanya.

Ezequil wore nothing but a pair of plain sweatpants and a black-and-white striped apron that clung to his torso. Because of that, I had a clear view of how his muscles flexed, tensed, and rippled with every movement—each subtle shift bringing his strength into sharp, mesmerizing focus.

Ako naman ay nakayakap sa aking katawan ang isang sweater at sa ilalim no’n ay ang damit niya na pinahiram sa akin. Malamig pa kasi at malakas ang ulan sa labas. As much as I wanted to lie on the hammock outside the villa, the weather was really bad today.

If someone were to launch a huge punch at my face, I don’t think I’d do anything to dodge it—just like how I was sitting comfortably on this stainless steel stool, with Ezequil right across from me. I’m definitely weak and vulnerable right now. I simply let my pleasure override my logic.

I agreed to Ezequil’s proposal—for the sake of satisfying my desires and for the contentment of my heart. Alam ko naman na hindi kami magtatagal ni Ezequil dito sa Palawan kasi wala rito ang buhay namin. I need to go home, and he has his own life outside this place too. Once we part ways, we’ll go back to being strangers. That’s… that’s the plan — and it’s what I wanted.

Yeah.

“You know I could really help you out there, right?” sabi ko habang pinagmamasdan siya. He didn’t have to do this. Hindi niya naman ako kailangang pa- impress-in eh. Sinabi niya rin kaya sa akin na hindi siya marunong magluto. Ako, hindi naman ganon kagaling pero may alam since dati pa man nakikialam na kami kay Papadad sa kitchen.

“I know, but I want to cook something for you again. I love doing things for you, Zen.”

Natatawa ko siyang inikutan sa mata ko.

Aliw na aliw ’yan, Zenver?

“Are you doing this to make me fall for you really hard?” Biro kong untag sa kanya. Tinungkod ko ang aking siko sa countertop.

He flashed a playful grin at me before chopping the onions into smaller portions.

“Does it work?” Patuya niyang sagot sa akin.

Hindi na kailangan, Ezequil!

But, of course, hindi ko talaga siya sinabi sa kanya. Magiging isang bansa muna ang North at South Korea bago ko iyan sabihin sa kanya.

“Of course, it will never work for me! I’m already used to that kind of antics!”

Syempre joke siya since wala naman akong masyadong karanasan sa mga boys. Kaya nga siguro ibang-iba ang datingan ni Ezequil sa akin kasi siya lang itong nakakagawa ng ganito sa akin. Siya lang itong masyadong makapal ang mukha at feeler?

I’m not sure about the word though.

“Really, huh!” He chuckled softly, shaking his head as a mischievous grin spread across his face, flashing a perfect set of pearly white teeth that gleamed under the light. Kung basagin ko kaya ang ngipin nito?

Nakakainis siya! Nakakainis na may kakaibang dating talaga sa dibdib ko ang mga simpleng galawan ng lalaking ’to. This brute was so… urgh!

“Anyway, dito ka pala nags-stay?”

He nodded. “Mmm, after you left my house, I looked after you. I didn’t want to stay at your hotel, so I opted for this island since it’s the nearest one to your resort.”

Kapal talaga! Pero no’ng dumating ang father niya sa kanyang bahay, halos itulak na ako palayo. Tapos ngayon parang naghahabol na siya.

“You’re also having your vacation here? Alone?”

“If it wasn’t for you, hindi rin naman ako magtatagal dito. Kung bumalik ka sa Manila, babalik din sana ako roon.”

Pero ano iyong narinig ko kagabi? I mean, no’ng katawagan niya ang kanyang Papa? Sino ba ang ‘her’ na iyon? Iyon din ba ang babaeng humabol sa amin? Ano nga ulit ang pangalan ng babaeng iyon? Britta? I don’t know kung sino ang babaeng iyon sa buhay ni Ezequil. But I think this Britta was connected or related to him since nabugbog siya ng kanyang ama dahil din sa babaeng iyon. Sa pagkakaalala ko hindi siya kilala ni Ezequil pero kailangan niyang bantayan (sort of) iyon ang gusto ni Bailey Suldua.

“Kailan mo planong umalis dito?” tanong ko mayamaya.

“Ikaw? Kailan mo gusto?”

“I’m… I’m not yet sure kung kailan.”

“We’ll, go to Manila together.”

“We can’t.” I emphasized.

Saglit siyang natigilan pero tumango pa rin siya.

I take a final sip of my coffee before climbing down from the stool and setting the glass gently in the sink. Hinugasan ko iyon nang maramdaman ko sa aking likod ang malaking katawan ni Ezequil.

Lumundag ang puso ko.

Ezequil’s arms wrapped around me like a protective barrier, pulling me close before his forehead gently rested on my shoulder. Even through the two layers of fabric between us, the warmth radiating from his body seeped into mine—like a comforting heat wave that melted away the chill around us.

My heart throbbed.

“E-Ezequil…”

“I’m cold.” His baritone voice softens like a butter melting.

“Sino ba kasing nagsabi sa’yong na mag-topless ka rito sa kusina habang may bagyo sa labas?”

“I wanted to impress you.”

I chuckled. Totoo nga pala ang kutob ko! Bwesit siya.

Pinigilan ko ang aking sarili sa pagngiti. Kakaibang sakit yata talaga ang dala nitong si Ezequil sa dibdib ko.

“Naghuhugas ako rito at nagluluto ka. Bitiw na. Ang landi mo pala eh.” Panunukso ko sa kanya.

Humigpit ang kamay niya sa pagkakayakap sa akin. Tanginang laro itong pinasukan namin. We were like two heads of fools!

I needed to take a deep breath because my heart started beating erratically. My heart was really excited by whatever this brute behind me was doing. My poor heart—just a simple embrace could make it race as if I had run a thousand miles.

“Ganito ako… sa’yo.” Malumanay niyang wika.

“Ezequil baka nakakalimutan mo na magkaaway—”

“We’re going to forget our names—our surnames—while we’re here, right?”

Biro ko lang naman sana iyon. Ang bilis naman nitong pikunin.

“Fine, fine, fine!”

Pagkatapos kong maghugas ng aking inumang baso ay umikot ako. Ang kamay ni Ezequil na dating nakayakap sa akin ay tinuko niya sa sink na nasa aking likuran at niyuko ang kanyang ulo upang mapantayan ang aking taas.

I could feel my heart pounding so hard it seemed to rise all the way up to my throat, every beat louder the longer Ezequil’s eyes stayed locked on my face. Malikot ang kanyang mga mata. Dumadapo ito sa aking mata, ilong, pisngi, at labi. Parang hinahanapan niya ng kapintasan ang mukha ko kaso wala siyang makita. Of course, wala siyang mapupuna sa mukha ko pero sa ugali… marami. Sa taray ko ba naman sa kanya.

“Your eyes are so beautiful, my queen.” That damn nickname again!

“Hmm?” I hummed. Ayaw kong mautal-utal dito sa harap niya. Baka lumaki ang ulo nito kapag naramdaman niya ang epekto ng kanyang mga salita sa aking katawan.

“Your eyes are so deep and dark. They’re dark, but they glimmer even in the midst of darkness,” he said softly.

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, making me feel like I might puke.

“Ano… ano bang pinagsasabi mo?”

“You’re so attractive no matter how I see you, Zen.”

I gave him my proudest smile. “It’s all thanks to my parents.”

“Yeah.” He immediately agreed. I thought he might deny what I said. “Indeed, Tyson Maranzano and Cassidy Maranzano made a pretty little savage like you.”

I wrinkled my nose. “What?”

“It’s my way of calling you beautiful, my queen.” With my nose and forehead scrunched, Ezequil planted a quick kiss on my lips that made my eyes widen.

After the quick kiss, he blatantly licked his own lips in front of me, wetting them.

“Ezequil!” I yelled.

“Papainit lang. Nilalamig na kasi ako.” He said, closing the mere distance that separates us.

“Ano? Ganyan ka ba ’pag nilalamig? Nanghahalik? Magdamit ka. Hindi iyong nanghahalik ka bigla!”

Kunwari ay inis kong pinunas ang likod ng aking palad sa aking labi. Damn this brute! Hindi na niya pinapakalma ang dibdib ko!

Muling nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang nilapit niya ang mukha niya sa akin. Nagpipigil hininga ako at naduduling sa lapit ng aming mukha. His breath fanned my parted lips.

“We’re in this set-up right now, Zen. We can do whatever we want. And while we’re in this set-up, we’re in a relationship. Hmm, baby?”

I swallowed hard, my mind spinning in a daze. Ezequil was clearly plotting a trap for me. He was flirting openly, making me feel small and inferior. This haughty brute really knew exactly what he was doing to me.

But I couldn’t allow myself to fall any further. Tama na ito. Tama na itong kinabagsakan ko ngayon.

Despite my trembling body, I was able to cup Ezequil’s face and look at him with the same playful expression on my face.

“Okay, my man.” I muttered naughtily.

Napahigit si Ezequil sa kanyang hininga. Mukhang hindi rin niya inaasahan ang aking sinabi.

Nagdiwang ang kaloob-looban ko dahil sa kanyang reaksyon. Laro pala huh. Humanda ka sa akin. Ezequil!

I was about to wrap my arms around his neck, nang maamoy namin pareho ang nasusunog niyang niluluto! In the end, kumain kami sa sunog niyang niluto.

After breakfast, Ezequil and I decided to watch a series in his living room. We sat together on the floor, which was covered by a thick, soft fur carpet. In front of us stood a small coffee table, holding some finger foods and drinks.

Ang mata ko ay nasa television lang (mabuti nga at hindi nawala ang kuryente at signal kahit masama ang panahon). Pero ang aking panonood sa TV ay nadisturbo nang maramdaman ko ang labi ni Ezequil sa aking balikat.

“Eherm.” Sadya kong tikhim kaso parang wala lang siya.

Nagpatuloy ako sa panonood kaso hati na ang atensyon ko sa TV at kay Ezequil.

At ilang sandali lang ay naramdaman ko na ang kamay niya na pumasok sa loob ng aking t-shirt (basically kay Ezequil itong t-shirt). My skin tingles as he prowls his fingers along my sides, running them up and down, creating a friction that sends shivers through me.

Susuwayin ko na sana si Ezequil sa kanyang ginagawa nang tumunog ang aking telepono sa ibabaw ng center table. Dali-dali ko itong kinuha at tiningnan kung sino ang tumawag sa akin. It was Papa Owell! Oh my god!

I cleared my throat before sliding my phone’s screen to answer my Papa Owell’s call.

“Papa!”

“My pretty inaanak!”

“Ahh!” Daing ko at nilayo ko ang aking telepono sa aking bibig!

Inis kong nilingon si Ezequil dahil kinurot niya ang dibdib ko! The heck! Gaano ba kabilis gumalaw ang kamay ng lalaking ito at umabot na ang kamay niya sa dibdib ko?

“Ezequil!” Half-yelled ko sa kanya.

“What?” He mouthed before lifting my shirt up until my chest was exposed!

Supposedly, giginawin na ako right now because malamig sa labas—umuulan at mahangin kaso dahil sa kamay ni Ezequil na nasa katawan ko ay nag-iinit ako!

“I’m talking to my Papa Owell!” Diin kong untag at pinanlakihan siya sa aking mata.

Ezequil just shrugged his shoulders before pulling me close, wrapping his arms around me from behind and settling me between his parted thighs.

“Just answer your Papa while I take care of my business here, my queen,” he whispered softly into my ear. My toes curled, and even the tiniest hairs on my body stood on end in response.

“Zen? Zenver Maranzano!” Papa Owell shouted from the other end.

“P-Papa, nandito pa ako.” Tumalbog ang puso ko sa kaba.

Hindi naman siguro ako narinig ni Papa Owell, right?

Mariin akong pumikit. Alam ko at saksi ako kung papaano tuksuhin ni Papa Owell si Papadad noon. Kahit nga ang Daddy Tyson ko na kinakatakutan ng marami hindi niya pinapalampas!

“Anong nangyayari d’yan? Nasaan ka, Zenver?!”

“P-papa… I’m here in Palawan. Hindi ba nabanggit ni Papadad sa’yo? Proxi ako ni Zhuri sa conference dito.”

I heard Papa Owell sigh heavily. “Umungol ka d’yan, Zen. Kaya nagtataka ako. Narinig ko pa naman na may bagyo d’yan. Baka napaano ka na.”

“Oh!” Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. “I’m fine, Pa.”

“Mabuti naman. Pero malungkot ako kasi ikaw ang pinunta ko rito sa bahay ni Maranzanong Tunay kaso wala ka. Nag-Palawan ka pala.”

“I’ll be back—uhm!” Shit! Kumawala ang ungol sa aking bibig nang pitikin ni Ezequil ang dibdib ko! Fuck this brute! “I’ll be back s-soon, Pa.”

Biglang nanahimik ang linya ni Papa Owell.

“Zenver, I know you’re an adult now, but please practice safe sex, okay?”

Nasunog ang mukha ko dahil sa tinuran ni Papa Owell.

“Papa!” Inis kong sigaw.

“Ano? Sus, alam kong kumikiringking ka na d’yan pero huwag ninyong kalilimutang gumamit ng kapote!”

“Papa Owell!” Gaano ba talaga kalakas ang radar ni Papa Owell?

Ayoko na! Ayoko na! Pulang pula na ako ngayon!

“Oh, bakit? Pinapaalala ko lang kasi iba pa naman ang mga lahi ninyo! Kayo nga isang putok ni Maranzanong Tunay kay Cassidy ayon tatlo kaagad. Tapos no’ng sumunod… hay lima sana.”

Pinutol ko na ang tawag namin ni Papa Owell at saka ko hinarap si Ezequil. The brute was smiling so widely, like he’d just sealed an important deal. Akala niya ba mananalo siya sa larong ito?

“Sinadya mo ba iyon?”

“Baby, no!” Tanggi niya kaso natatawa.

His lips pouted like those of an innocent puppy.

Dammit! Baby niya mukha niya!

“Damn you!” Asik ko sa kanya bago sumampa sa kanyang balakang at sinakal siya. But it was a mistake the moment I felt his sword aimed at my entrance.

---

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CHAPTER 13

Chapter 13

The moment I stepped into the room, I bolted toward the bed and plunged my face into the soft pillow, as if its warmth could muffle the chaos unraveling in my mind after what just happened in the living room.

“Shit! You’re really digging your own grave, Zenver Maranzano!”

With a groan, I tugged at my hair in frustration and pressed my face deeper into the pillow, hoping it could somehow smother both my thoughts and the weight of my stupidity. Impit akong sumigaw habang nakabaon ang aking mukha sa unan. Kahit na ilang minuto na ako rito sa kwarto ay ramdam ko pa rin ang init sa aking mukha.

I can still feel his hands on my body—his fiery touch, every stroke of his fingers, still vivid in my mind as if imprinted on my skin. The way he squeezed my flesh remains overwhelming, and I can still feel his heat lingering, as though I were still under his hands.

Tumihaya ako sa kama at dumeretso ang aking mata sa ceiling ng kwarto.

Being in my enemy’s hands feels wrong—unrighteous—yet why does my body crave it even more? I know it’s a dangerous game, but still, something in me wants to dive into it. Why do I feel so comfortable in a situation that should terrify me?

Don’t tell me dala lang ito sa masamang panahon? Nilalamig lang kami kaya gusto naming magpainit?

“Argh!” Sinabunutan ko ang aking sarili at saka bumangon. Tumungo ako sa banyo upang maghilamos dahil baka matauhan na ako. Bakb kailangan ko ng malamig na tubig!

Sinara ko ang sink at saka ko iyon pinuno ng tubig. Nilublob ko ang aking mukha sa tubig ng ilang sandali bago ako umahon. The cold water did nothing to soothe the heat burning in my cheeks. I stared at my flushed, wet face in the mirror, breathing unevenly.

My fingers brushed the side of my neck, where several red marks stood out against my skin—evidence of my rival’s claim. The longer I looked at myself, the more my thoughts returned to what had just occurred in the living room.

My eyes widened slightly as I recalled the moment Ezequil pressed against me. He wasn’t fully aroused, yet I could already feel the weight and imposing size of him nudging at my entrance—unrelenting and impossible to ignore.

Akmang tatayo na ako at lalayo sa kanya kaso humawak siya sa aking baywang at muli akong pinaupo.

My breath hitch.

Rinig ko na ang pagkakagulo sa pinapanood naming palabas. Mukhang may labanan na sa aming pinapanood pero mas engrossed na ako ngayon sa sitwasyon namin ni Ezequil.

Those ocean orbs behind his long lashes stared at me, as if calculating my every move and guarding against any stray expression.

It was shameful to admit, but my breasts had hardened because of what he did earlier. They ached for attention beneath my shirt. Hindi pa nakakatulong ang mga titig ngayon ni Ezequil sa akin.

My lips parted on their own as Ezequiel’s hand began to slide under my shirt. Nasemento ako sa kanyang kandungan at hindi makagalaw. I can’t even take my eyes off him.

“Can I?” He grumbled under his breath. Kahit siya ay nauubusan ng hangin sa kanyang ginagawa sa katawan ko.

“W-what?” I stuttered, gritting my teeth. No matter how much I wanted to keep my face stoic, it was difficult when he was making me feel so on edge.

“Can I… ravish you?” he asked in a low growl. His fingers sank into my skin.

My face reddened before I closed my eyes. And before I could take back my response to his question, my head had already nodded in agreement. Lagi na lang ganito. Lagi na lang akong tinatraydor ng sarili kong katawan.

“My queen, open your eyes.”

My eyes gaped on their own accord. Sinalubong ng mga mata ko ang mata ni Ezequil na namumungay pero nag-aalab ang pagnanasa roon.

“I want you to see how I ravish this beautiful body of yours, my queen. I want you to witness how deeply I crave to taste every inch of you.”

Tinakpan ko ang aking bibig nang ginapang niya paitaas ang kanyang kamay hanggang sa tumigil ito sa dibdib ko at pasimple niya itong minasahe.

I feel my body burn as I join Ezequil in his fiery craving. I bite my lip hard to stifle the moans threatening to escape. My other hand grips his shoulder, fingers pressing into his flesh as he once again runs a palm over my hypersensitive nipples.

“Don’t cover your mouth, Zen. Let me hear you moan.” His voice was deep—and unmistakably seductive. Hindi ko alam kung dahil lang ba ito sa umuusbong na pagnanasa o ano.

My hand draped into my side, at ramdam na ramdam ko na ang pamumula sa aking mukha. My chest heaved as I looked down at him.

Ezequil rolled up my shirt again, and this time he pulled it over my head before discarding it to the side.

I shuddered. My body trembled—not from the cold, but because I felt a burning heat inside, despite the rain pouring outside the villa. It was as if he was leading me straight into an inferno. The heat was unbearable, almost ungodly.

The last remnants of pride and defiance within me eloded as Ezequil lowered his mouth to my hardened, oversensitive nipples.

“Nghh!” I let out a half-whispered whimper as his tongue expertly circled my nipple, then suckled it. His fingers occupied the other nipple, playing with it like rubber—pinching and pulling gently between them.

Napaliyad ako. Masakit siya pero ewan ko kung bakit naliliyo ako sa sakit na dala ng kanyang pagkurot at hila sa aking nipple!

Ezequil sucked my breast like a thirsty beast deprived of water for a year. He lapped at me and carried me to the edge of wilderness. Shivers coursed through my body, and I couldn’t help but hum lewd, indecent sounds that drowned out the noise from the television.

Ezequil left my breast swollen, red, and aching as he moved north, tracing a path from my collarbone to my neck, to my earlobe, and then to my jaw. Finally, he reached my lips and brushed his against my nose.

“You taste divine, my queen,” he said earnestly.

Dammit! I hated how I could read the emotions lingering in his eyes. He looked up at me like I was a goddess, ready to worship me and lick my feet.

“S-shut up!” I blushed harder!

He smirked, held my chin, and kissed my lips. He kissed me slowly and deliberately, tasting me like candy. I was like ice, slowly melting under his intense heat. I allowed myself to sink into his sinful kisses that made me weak. He devoured and consumed me as if my lips were his last meal.

I answered his kisses with the same ferocity, scratching my fingers into his back while the other hand pulled his hair.

“Ahh, uhmm!” I whimpered when he nipped at my neck like a vampire.

Ezequil lifted me and dropped me on the sofa behind him before kneeling in front of me. Unti-unti niyang pinaghiwalay ang mga binti ko. Binuhat niya ang hita ko at sinapay iyon sa kanyang magkabilang balikat.

“E-Ezequil…” I wasn’t able to utter another word when he started licking my thigh.

Tumaas nang tumaas ang kanyang pagdila sa aking hita hanggang sa umabot na siya sa singit ko. Hinawi niya ang suot kong boxers dahilan para ma-expose ang aking sensitibong parte na kanina pa naninigas at namamasa! I knew that my boxer was already drenched.

Ezequil wrapped his hand around my manhood and began to stroke my stiffened member.

“Argh!” Muli kong sinabunutan ang aking buhok. Nasabuyan ko pa ng tubig ng salamin sa aking harapan.

“Do you want to die, Zen?”

Para na akong baliw dito sa loob ng banyo na kinakausap ang sarili.

Pinakialaman ko ang mga gamit ni Ezequil at saka ako nagbihis. I make sure na labhan ang aking suot na boxer.

Tinulog ko na lang ang aking sama ng loob sa aking sarili. Nang magising ako ay madilim ang silid at ang konting ilaw sa labas na tumatagos sa glass window ang umiilaw sa loob ng silid. Mabilis kong inabot ng lampshade sa tabi dahil baka nandito na naman sa tabi ko si Ezequil.

At nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag nang makitang mag-isa lang ako sa kama at mukhang walang ibang pumasok sa kwarto. Akala ko pagkagising ko mawawala na sa isip ko ang nangyari kanina sa labas pero heto ako at nagre-reminisce na.

Inis kong ginulo ang aking buhok at umungol. Ayaw ko sanang lumabas at iindain ko lang sana ang gutom ngunit tumunog ang aking t’yan.

“You’re really betraying me right now!” Pagkakausap ko sa aking flat na t’yan.

My stomach kept grumbling, so I had no choice but to haul myself out of bed and go outside. Sumama ang mukha ko nang makita ko si Ezequil sa kusina na umiinom mag-isa. Bumaba ang mata ko sa kanyang kamay na mahigpit na nakahawak doon sa baso. Umuusli ang ugat ng kanyang kamay.

Suddenly, a memory from earlier flashed before me, as if I were watching myself writhe in pleasure while Ezequil’s hand stroked my member—and how my sperm shot into the air.

Tumikhim ako bago tumuloy sa loob ng kitchen. I saw the bottle of rum on the countertop next to his arms. Mukhang kakainom niya palang dahil konti pa lang ang nakuha niya doon sa alak.

“Gising ka na pala.” He grumbled.

Inismiran ko siya. “Malamang gising na ako. Alangan naman na nags-sleep walk ako rito.”

“Zen,”

“Shut up! Gutom ako. Gusto kong kumain.” Masungit kong untag.

“Tama. Nagluto ako. This time hindi na siya sunog i-reheat ko muna…”

“D’yan ka lang.” Pigil ko sa kanyang akmang pagtayo doon sa high chair.

“Ako na ang magre-reheat doon.”

I knew the game we were playing pero ngayon kasi ay preskong-presko pa sa akin ang nangyari kanina.

Ininit ko ang niluto niyang pagkain at saka kumain ng mag-isa. Umiinom siya at ako naman ay kumakain. Dahil sa tahimik naming dalawa naririnig ko pati ang pagsalin niya ng alak sa kanyang baso.

Nagmamadali na ako sa pagsubo dahil bumibigat na ang atmosphere sa kitchen kaso nagugutom ako. Naparami ako ng kain!

“Zen,” sambit niya na kinatigil ng aking kamay sa pagsubo no’ng beef.

Sinulyapan ko lang siya at tinuloy ang aking pagsubo.

“Are you mad at me?”

The heck!

“Mad? Saan naman?” Kunwari ko.

“For what happened earlier in the living room.”

Naibaba ko ang aking kamay at nilunok ang kanin sa bibig. Inabot ko ang pineapple juice at uminom.

“We’re both adults. Okay lang iyon. I mean, it was okay as long as wala kang sabit. Naiintindihan ko ang nangyari kanina.” Because we were both hungry animals.

“I’m not sorry about it.”

My head snapped at him. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I’m not sorry, but I’m worried about you. I’m worried dahil baka nagalit ka sa ginawa ko kanina.”

“I’m not mad.” sabi ko.

I’m just disappointed at how easily I gave in to his command. But to be honest… shit! I like it. I like the kiss. I like how he touches my skin. I like his lips on my skin. Yeah, it was forbidden because our families were enemies. However, doing that unholy thing with my enemy awakened something inside me that I can’t explain. It feels like Ezequil is stimulating a long-dead desire living within my body. A long-dead desire that hasn’t touch by anyone but him.

“But why do I feel like you are?”

Umirap ako sa kanya. Ang dami niyang alam!

“Lasing ka na ba?”

“No,”

“Iyon naman pala. Kung sinabi kong hindi ako galit. Hindi ako galit!”

Kung galit man ako… dapat sa sarili ko dahil bumigay rin ako. Hindi rin naman kasi iyon mangyayari if walang consent ko. Mukhang nahuhumaling na ako sa larong ito.

“No, galit ka.” Pagmamatigas niya.

Napadaing naman ako. Para siyang bata na pinipilit ang kanyang opinyon kahit wala namang kabuluhan! Ngumunguso pa siya doon na akala niya naman bagay sa kanya! Nagmumukha siyang asong ulol!

“Hindi nga sabi, di ba?!” Naiinis na ako!

“Then why did you leave me? Why did you run away after I made you cum with my hand?”

Uminit ang mukha ko.

Naitampal ko ang aking kamay sa countertop. Padabog akong umalis doon sa silya ko at inikot siya doon sa pwesto niya. I shot him a fierce glare, then suddenly yanked his neck down and crashed my lips onto his lips.

Dahil nakaawang ang kanyang labi mabilis kong naipasok ang aking dila sa kanyang bibig. I tasted the rum inside his mouth as I shoved my tongue into his mouth. I angled my head before nipping his lips, which earned a moan from him.

When he was about to kiss me back, I pulled my head away. I wiped the saliva from my mouth.

“Sapat na ba iyon para malaman mong hindi ako galit?” anas ko at hinihingal.

Namungay ang kanyang mga mata sa akin at walang sabing hinapit ang baywang ko bago ako siniil ng halik!

---

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CHAPTER 14

⚠️

R18

Chapter 14

Now it was my turn to be astonished. Naestatwa ako sa aking kinatatayuan. Bukas ang mata at parang nagsara ang aking utak sa biglaan niyang paghalik sa akin!

Dammit! I just want to redeem myself for running away from him earlier. Wala akong ibang intensyon sa halik ko sa kanya ngayon lang. I just want him to know that I’m not really mad at him. Gosh! We’re not kids anymore para doon. Besides, nagkaintindihan na kami sa set-up namin ngayon dito.

Ito talagang pagiging impulsive ko minsan ang nagdadala sa akin ng kapahamakan. Itong desisyon ko na hindi ko masyadong pinag-iisipan ang magdadala sa akin ng problema!

Ezequil’s tug on my bottom lip woke me from my deep reverie. I raised my hand and pressed against his chest, trying to push him away, but his large hand grasped the back of my neck to steady my head and plunged his tongue inside my mouth. His fierce kisses elicited some lewd moans from me.

“Eze… hmmp!” I tried to bite his tongue to stop him from kissing me, but he was persistent! Humigpit ang kanyang kamay sa aking baywang at ang isang kamay niya na nasa likod ng leeg ko ay dumiin.

Damn this brute!

He wasn’t gentle. Ang mga halik niya ngayon ay mas intense pa kanina at parang may hinahanap siya sa loob ng bibig ko.

Despite my mind arguing about this kiss, my body says the opposite. My body wants to dance with Ezequil’s kisses. Is it because I’m inexperienced with this kind of thing that my body reacts this way? And since when did I become this sensitive? Why can’t I control my lust?

Ezequil panted when he broke the kiss. Heat surged through my face as his eyes roamed over me. There was a fire burning in his eyes — a fire of salaciousness and hunger beneath his otherwise amiable stare.

Pakiramdam ko nauubusan din ako ng hangin dahil sa kanyang mga titig sa akin. I grew up knowing how pretty I am. I’m confident and proud of the genes I inherited from my parents. However, the longer Ezequil’s eyes linger on my face, the weaker I suddenly feel in front of him. His ocean eyes make my knees wobble.

“Zen,” he breathes.

Hindi pa rin nawawala ang pagnanasa na sumasayaw sa kanyang mga mata. It felt like he was hypnotizing me with those orbs. No matter how much I reprimanded myself for my abhorrence toward the guy, I still found myself locking my gaze with his, like I was allowing myself to be mesmerized.

“E-Ezequil,” I uttered, breathless like him.

“I still want you. I still want to kiss you. To hold you. And… goddammit! I want to pin you down on the bed. I still want to explore your body. I thought… I thought that one kiss would suffice. I thought I would be satiated with that kiss, with making out with you.” He shook his head, disappointed with himself. “I don’t know how to get over you. I want you, Zenver Maranzano.”

At that moment, I realized that we’re both doomed. We can’t control the urges of our bodies. Our thoughts run and function fine, but our bodies are at their limits. Our real foe here was our own bodies.

“What…” Zenver, it’s over for you. “What do you want to do?”“

His eyes glistened with pure lust, like he was in heat.

“Fuck! Don’t ask me that question, my queen.”

I gulped. “Tell me.”

Bumaba siya sa silyang kinauupuan niya. Tiningala ko siya dahil mas matangkad siya at… mas malaki rin talaga sa akin.

Tinaas niya ang kanyang kamay at saka nilagay sa leeg ko. His thumb rubbed my neck, creating friction that made my body feel hot.

My body shuddered in response.

“I wanted…” he started without breaking our eye contact, “…to undress you. I wanted to see your flushed face above the bed. I wanted to hear you scream my name. I wanted my dick inside your hole.”

I took a huge gulp. I should be running away right now. Pero nandito pa rin ako sa kanyang harapan. Parang tinakbuhan na ako ng aking logic ngayon. I can’t think straight anymore.

Ezequil played my shirt (shirt niya na naman itong suot ko. Pirasong damit lang naman kasi ang laman no’ng tote bag ko at nabasa pa siya sa foam party).

“Zen,” usal niya ulit. “Can I?”

My eyes blinked. “W-w-what?”

He took another step until that mere inch kept our bodies in contact. From what I remember, the temperature in the kitchen wasn’t that hot earlier. But right now, I feel beads of sweat starting to form on my temple. It seems like gravity feels heavier around us.

“You already heard what I wanted to do. So I’m asking for your permission. Your permission is important to me. I don’t want you to get mad at me.”

“Y-you really want those?”

Tumango siya. “I fucking really do, Zen.”

“Just this one? After this… wala na?” Pagkatapos ng larong ito. Wala na ba?

“I can’t promise you that.”

“What?!”

“While we’re on this island, of course. But while we’re together, I can’t promise you anything since you’ve been such a temptress.”

“Damn you! It’s not my fault that I make you hard just by looking at me!”

The hell! What kind of foes does he have?!

“So, can I?” he probes.

“We are in this set-up. Remember your proposal?” Paalala ko sa kanya.

Napalunok siya at sumeryoso bigla ang mukha. Para bang may nasabi akong nakasira sa kanyang mood.

“O-of course,” parang labag pa sa loob niyang wika.

“We can do whatever we want while we’re here. So… yeah, you have my permission!” Pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon ay lihim akong napalunok ng malalim.

Hindi mo ba talaga ito pagsisihan, Zenver? Binigay mo talaga ang permission mo sa kalaban mo? Ganito ka ba talaga ka-sex deprived?

Whatever! Saka ko naiisipin ang consequences kapag tapos na kami rito. Hindi naman kami magtatagal dito. At kung ano man ang nangyari sa islang ito… mananatili siya rito. Wala kaming dadalhin pag-alis namin sa lugar na ’to!

Napatili naman ako nang bigla niya akong buhatin at nilapag sa high chair kung saan siya umupo kanina.

Pinanliitan ko siya sa aking mata.

“I’ll take this off.” aniya sabay taas sa suot kong damit.

“W-we’re in the kitchen, Ezequil.” sabi ko dahil baka nakakalimutan niya kung saan kami ngayon.

Libog na libog na ba siya?

He just flashed an evil smirk before pulling my shirt off over my head and tossing it onto the floor!

Hindi niya nilalayo ang kanyang tingin sa akin at saka inabot ang bote ng rum at binuksan niya ito.

The heck!

“E-Ezequil…”

Kusang nalusaw ang nanginginig kong boses nang buhusan niya ng rum ang leeg ko! Tremors shot through my body! My skin was highly sensitive right now, and pouring rum on it didn’t help at all. It only made me feel more tingling. The rum was cold against my skin.

“Ezequil!”

Ezequil just stuck out his tongue and ran it after the trickling rum down to my belly!

I bit my lips hard as he licked my skin. He poured an ample amount of rum on my nipples before sucking them. He pushed my body onto the counter and spilled more rum all over me before cleaning it up with his tongue!

Para akong nakikiliti na ewan. Every cell in my body ignited as he traced his tongue over my skin, leaving invisible trails of fire in his wake.

Tumayo siya sa harap ko bago niya iginapos ang aking binti sa kanyang baywang at saka ako binuhat. One of his hands was on my butt, supporting my weight, while the other carried the bottle of rum. He carried me back to the villa’s room and laid me on the bed.

I didn’t realize he did all that without breaking our kiss. He finally pulled away and set the rum down on the floor.

Naitungkod ko ang aking siko sa kama at umatras. I’m only wearing my black boxers right now, and I smell alcohol on me because of what he did in the kitchen. Iligo ba naman sa katawan ko ang alak!

I was gasping for air as I fixed my eyes on him below the bed. My heart slammed violently against my chest.

He undressed by pulling his shirt over his head. Tumambad sa akin ang kanyang mabatong katawan. My eyes feasted on his ripped body, traveling from his muscled chest down the crest of his abs.

I involuntarily licked my lips.

This isn’t new to me. I’ve seen a lot of beautiful and mouthwatering bodies, but no one has ever made me feel like this — the feeling of wanting my hand on his hard muscles. I wanted to feel them under my palm.

I’m fucking nervous as hell. Of course! Sino ba namang hindi kakabahan sa gagawin ko ngayon kasama ang tinuring kong kaaway? Shit! But my anticipation took away my nervousness and hesitation at once. Ngayon hindi na ako makahintay sa susunod niyang gagawin!

May kinuha siyang ilang sachet ng foil doon sa kanyang closet at tinapon iyon sa kama bago siya sumampa bitbit ang bote ng alak. Tiningnan ko kung ano ang mga sachet na iyon at ganon na lang ang aking paglunok nang mapagtanto kong mga condoms iyon. Nanikip ang dibdib ko at mas uminit ang aking pakiramdam. Naka-on naman ang AC. Dammit!

Are we really doing this? Can we go back to the way we used to be after this? Shit!

He spilled the remaining rum on my body. As much as I wanted to protest, he had already discarded the bottle aside. I could only widen my eyes. Ezequil parted my legs. Then, he crawled on top of me and began to lick the rum off my skin. My toes curled in the air.

Kumapit ang kamay ko sa kanyang katawan. His body felt stiff yet smooth and hot under my palm. My nails clawed his back like a cat.

“Uhmm!” I hummed. My heels scraped the bedsheets as he switched between licking and sucking my skin. I couldn’t hold back my moan when he sucked my skin hard. Para bang pinanggigilan niya iyon.

After licking me clean, his head moved down until his mouth reached my hard member.

Inamoy niya ako doon sa baba. Sinubukan kong pagsiklupin ang aking binti kaso mabilis niyang hinawakan ang magkabilang hita ko at ipinid iyon sa kama.

“Urgh!” I groaned as he sucked me, still wearing my boxers.

Ezequil brushed his hand roughly over my private parts, and my hand clenched the bedsheets. Napapikit ako ang hubarin niya sa akin ang boxer at tinapon iyon sa tabi. When my eyes landed on my length, I could see my precum leaking around the tip. And the man below me didn’t hesitate to swallow my whole length at once.

My hips jerked as he bobbed his head up and down on my member. As I looked down at him, he peered up at me and smirked with my dick still in his mouth. The audacity!

I moved my hips, causing him to gag. But what I did only made him more animalistic! Habang nasa bibig niya ako ay inabot niya ang isang pakete ng condom. Pinunit niya iyon saka sinuot sa kanyang daliri ang condom.

Kumurba ang aking katawan nang himasin niya ang namamasa kong lagusan sa baba gamit ang daliring may kapote.. My member twitched inside his mouth, and I tried to push him away because I could already feel my orgasm coming—but he was so stubborn! Mas binilisan niya ang himas sa aking butas sa baba hanggang sa napuno ang kwarto ng ungol ko, daing niya, at mababasang tunog ng aking kweba.

My body trembled as my orgasm hit! Ezequil tried to pull away, but it was too late—my cum spurted right onto his face!

“E-Ezequil,” hingal kong untag habang nakatitig sa kanya.

The guy simply grinned before licking the beads of my cum from the corner of his mouth. He didn’t give me a chance to recover as he hovered over me and pressed his lips against mine.

Nakagat ko ang kanyang labi nang maramdaman ko ang pagsalakay ng kanyang mga daliri sa loob ng butas ko. His fingers moved so fast, I could barely catch my breath. He was fingering me roughly, skillfully circling and scissoring my hole.

Hinihingal siyang lumuhod sa harap ng aking nakabukang hita. Binaba niya ang kanyang boxer at brief, freeing his huge, thick, and lengthy manhood.

My ears rang as blood rushed through me when Ezequil guided my hand to his dick. Fuck! It was veiny—so long, so thick, so big. Gosh, how did this kind of cock even fit inside his briefs all this time? Kaya ba no’ng maupuan ko ito para na akong tinusok nito dahil ganito pala siya kalaki?

Pinadaan ni Ezequil ang kamay ko sa ulo no’n pababa sa kanyang dalawang malulusog na bola sa baba. Dammit! This penis was about to ruin my hole right now. Kakayanin ko kaya itong size na ’to?

Napatingala si Ezequil sa kisame na parang nagdadasal habang ginagabayan niya ang kamay ko sa kanyang titi.

I clasped my hand around his balls, causing him to mutter filthy words that made my cheeks turn even redder. His moans encouraged me to do better. Ezequil looked so helpless, weak—vulnerable—above me.

Tang ina, kamay ko palang iyan pero parang langit na sa kanya!

“Zen! Ahh, fuck!” Mura niya nang paglaruan ko ang munting butas sa tuktok ng kanyang pagkalalaki!

I was about to squeeze him again when he stopped me.

“Stop it!” His labored breath.

I smiled evilly at him.

Aabutin ko na sana ulit ang malusog niyang titi kaso nag-abot na siya ng condom at pinunit iyon gamit ang ngipin niya.

Ngumisi siya sa akin bago sinuot ang condom. Shit!

Itinaas niya ang isang binti ko, pinatong sa knayang balikat, habang ang isa ay nasa kama. Hindi pa siya nakakapasok pero nanginginig na ako.

“Ahmm! Fuck you! Put it in already!” I yelled at him while he was still teasing my hole!

He knew I was already consumed with so much lust—that’s why he was playing with me!

“Tell me, how do you want me to take you, my queen?” he said lazily, teasing the tip of his cock at my entrance. . Shit! Shit! Shit! This guy was fucking fooling me around!

“Damn you! Alam mo na!” sigaw ko sa kanya.

“I don’t know, my queen.” aniya at pinasok ang tip ng kanyang pagkalalaki sa akin pero kaagad niya rin itong binawi!

Damn him!

“Fuck you, Ezequil!” Galit kong untag sa kanya.

“Tell me, my queen. Command me, and I’ll obey you,” he said, biting his lip seductively at me.

My eyes shut tightly. “Fuck me. Fuck. Me. Hard!”

Lumaki ang ngisi niya.

Nasaan na ang sinasabi nating, ‘I won’t spread my legs for him’, Zen? Ang galing mo naman!

“Ahh!” Malakas kong ungol nang lumusob siya sa butas ko.

My head falls back as I scream in pleasure. Shit! He feels so good inside me. Yes, he’s fucking huge—I feel like I’m breaking apart, yet there’s heaven in this pain. He brings both pain and pleasure to my body. My stomach feels so full because of his thick, hard cock.

Ezequil spread my legs wide on the bed as he pounded into me mercilessly, like he was digging for treasure inside.

“Fuck! So tight, baby! Damn this hole!”

“Urk, nghh, ngh, ahh, ahh!”

Ezequil’s ruthless thrusts make my head spin. My vision grows hazy with tears.

“Ha! Ahh, nghh, nnhh!”

“Agh, t-try to calm down, baby. You’re fucking choking me! I don’t want to cum yet.”

“Argh, Ezequil! Please, hurry! P-please… hurry!”

“Do you want… more?” He asked, holding the back of my knees and pushing them against the bed before banging into me with all his strength. Ezequil took another forceful yet long thrust, drilling into me with his dick.

“Ahh, yes! F-faster… faster, E-Ezequil!” Nalilibog kong wika.

Ezequil pulled out his dick just as I was so close! He hastily took off the condom before shoving it back inside me—raw!

He leaned on me and kissed my lips before thrusting harder, pushing his dick inside me until my vision blurred.

He came. I came.

I felt his cum filling me inside. I could only bite his neck as I felt his penis shake inside me.

---

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CHAPTER 15

Chapter 15

I wasn’t prepared for this. Yes! What happened to us-Ezequil and me-that night was amazing… it blew my mind more than I could have imagined! I do pleasure myself, but experiencing that was on a whole other level of pleasure. Though at some point, it felt so wrong and bad.

So wrong pero namaos ako? Galing ko rin talaga!

Or maybe I’m just thinking this way because I did it with Ezequil-the person I considered my enemy. Maybe I felt bad because I actually enjoyed it.

However, because of that, I was bedridden for more than a day! I really had it bad. Siguro dahil na rin masyadong naging mapusok si Ezequil kaya ganon. Though, mukhang pareho naman kaming gigil dalawa nang gabing iyon.

I’ve been staying in Ezequil’s villa for five days now. Hindi pa ako umuuwi sa aming resort na isang sakay lang naman sana ng bangka. Gusto ko pang mag-fade itong mga red marks sa katawan ko bago ako umuwi. Baka kasi magtaka si Tita Aileen kapag nakita akong nagturtle neck at PJ sa resort.

Damn that brute din naman kasi. Pati leeg ko hindi na niya pinatawad at nilagyan din ng mga marka.

“Y-yes, tita!” Kaagad kong sagot kay Tita Aileen. Nagtatanong kasi siya kung kailan daw ako uuwi sa resort. Araw-gabi niya akong tinatawagan.

Habang bedridden ako no’ng mga nakaraan ay busy naman ako sa mga tawag ng pamilya ko. Una tumawag sina Papadad at Daddy, sunod si Kuya Zy, si Zhu, at ang tatlo ko pang mga kapatid. They heard the news kasi tungkol sa bagyo na dumaan dito.

“Talaga? Mukhang enjoy na enjoy ka na d’yan, Zen. Iisipin ko tuloy na mas nagagandahan ka d’yan kaysa sa sarili ninyong resort dito!”

“No, Tita!” Halos mapabangon ako roon. But of course, hindi ako nakabangon kasi naka-lock ang braso ni Ezequil sa aking katawan.

Ezequil was lying on the hammock, and I was also lying on top of him with my back against his chest. He was silently planting soft kisses on my shoulders while I was talking to my Tita Aileen. Nakikiliti na nga ako roon. At sinusuway ko naman siya kaso matigas ang ulo! Damn him!

I was only wearing a white long-sleeved polo, and underneath, just my boxer shorts. The man beneath me was wearing only his shorts as well. That’s why I could feel the ridges of his thick, hard muscles pressing against my back.

I’m still a little sore down there, and this kind of position really helps relieve some of the pain. Hindi masakit ang pang-upo ko.

“Joke lang, Zen! Enjoy ka lang d’yan. Basta kung may kailangan ka o uuwi ka na. Mag-text ka lang sa akin dahil ipapakuha kita d’yan, okay?”

I smiled. “Okay, Tita. Thank you!”

“Ingat ka d’yan, Zenver. Lalo na sa mga lalaki pero alam ko naman na naturuan ka na ng Papa Owell mo sa mga bagay-bagay.”

Si Tita ang unang nagbaba sa tawag namin at napatitig na lang ako sa aking telepono. Tapos na ang tawag kaso ang huling sinabi ni Tita ay parang naririnig ko pa rin sa aking tenga.

Paano ito ngayon? Tapos na. Lahat ng paalala ni Papa Owell at ni Papadad parang naging bula na lang siya na pumutok sa ere. Pinagmamalaki ko pa naman ang sinasabi ko sa aking sarili na, ‘I won’t spread my legs’.

I won’t spread my legs, my ass! Huli na. Huli na dahil nilusob na ako ni Ezequil out of all guys out there.

I’m so sorry, Papadad! I’m so sorry Papa Owell… but I enjoy it!

I sighed, bowed my head, and found Ezequil’s arms wrapped around me like iron-strong and sturdy. It felt like his own way of saying he owned the one in his embrace. I still couldn’t believe I gave my first to this.

“My queen?”

I was pulled from my deep thoughts when Ezequil spoke, just before planting another kiss on my shoulder. Gumawa talaga siya ng paraan para makita ang balikat ko. Talagang binuksan niya ang butones ng polo ko.

“Hmm?” Tatanggapin ko na talaga na ganyan na ang tawag niya sa akin. Minsan naman ‘baby’. Tsk! Inaamin ko na kahit puro ako reklamo sa tawag niya sa akin. Nanunuot pa rin talaga ang konting… kilig! Dammit!

“Tapos na kayong mag-usap ng tita mo?” He asked, his lips beginning to move up to my neck as he sniffed my scent.

“Obviously,” pabalang kong sagot sa kanya at itinaas ang phone ko upang makita niya.

Napatili naman ako nang bigla niyang baligtarin ang aking katawan upang padapain ako sa ibabaw niya. Uminit ang mukha ko dahil sa lapit ng aming mukha. Shit!

Damn you, Zen! What’s with the blush? Don’t act like a damn teenager experiencing their first crush!“

Ezequil lightly brushed against my skin, sending a jolt of electricity through my entire system. Muntik na akong manginsay dito sa ibabaw niya.

“Okay na ba ang katawan mo?” He asked gently. Unti-unti nang tumaas ang kanyang isang kamay na nasa likod ko. While his other hand was busy combing my hair.

“I-I’m fine na!”

“Hindi na masakit?”

Umasim ang mukha ko sa kanya. Really? Magtatanong talaga siyang ganon pagkatapos niya akong angkinin sa gano’ng paraan?

“Yeah!” Pairap kong sagot sa kanya. Though may konting sakit pa nga kaso bearable na naman siya.

“The weather is good today. Would you like to take a dip?” were his tender remarks. His voice was deep and throaty, yet it came out soft.

I don’t know what’s happening, because it seems like every little word that comes out of Ezequil’s mouth sounds so soft and subtle to my ears.

Kahapon din ay tinanong niya ako kaso inirapan ko lang siya. Tingin ko kasi kapag naligo ako sa dagat hahapdi ang pwet ko. Ewan ko baka kasi… napunit niya? Ang sakit kasi tapos para pang umaapoy!

“Mmm, okay.”

“Right now?” aniya.

“Sa hapon na. Masyado pang mainit.” Pagkatapos nang sobrang samang panahon ay sobrang init na naman.

“Whatever you want,” he mumbled, then swiftly gave me a quick peck on the lips.“

“Hey!” Protesta ko kaso tapos na ang halik.

“What?”

“Don’t what-what me, Ezequil!”

“I just want to kiss you, my queen. What’s wrong with that?” Hagikhik niya pa.

“Hindi naman porket gusto mo ay gagawin mo na without my consent!”

Nag-puppy eyes siya sa akin.

“Sorry,” mahina niyang sabi. “Can I kiss you once more?”

His eyes were fixed on my lips, as if they were really his target from the start.

I sighed.

“F-fine!” Napapadalas na yata ang pagkakautal ko sa harap ng lalaking ito.

Ezequil propped me up until our heads were level with each other. He bit his lip before subtly pulling my head down to his lips.

The man beneath me grunted as our lips locked in a kiss. He attacked my lips, biting my lower lip and sucking it occasionally. He angled his head and raided my mouth with his long, warm tongue. As he devoured my mouth, his hand under my long sleeves stroked and pressed my skin, sending tingles down to my toes.

In the broad daylight, outside his villa, and in the woven hammock, I allowed Ezequil to kiss me however he wanted. The longer I stayed with Ezequil, the more I became a stranger to my own body. It felt like I was hypnotized and couldn’t control my body anymore whenever I was with him. This change in my body frightened me. It scared me because I knew I was getting accustomed to it - Ezequil’s lips on my skin, his hands on me, his eyes on me, his actions towards me.

I saw it all coming, and though I may not have anticipated it, I should have guarded myself. But now it was too late.

“Baby?” he murmured against my lips.“

Nagbukas ko sa aking mata at nakita kong nakatitig siya sa akin.

He put some space between our lips, yet the tips of our noses still touched. Ezequil’s chest rippled.

“What?” I uttered, still winded from his kisses.

“Is there something bothering you? I don’t mind if you tell me what it is. My ears are open for you.”

Is this still a benefit of this kind of setup we have? Was this still part of the setup?Baka naman nakakalimutan na niya?

Umiling ako sa kanya. Napatigil lang ako saglit sa halikan namin nagtatanong na kaagad siya.

He brushed the back of his palm across my cheeks.

“Did I hurt you somehow? Masyado bang mapusok ang halik ko?”

I slapped my hand on his chest playfully before uttering, “No!”

“Why did you stop kissing me? You’re spacing out more often, like yesterday too.”

This man was really observant!

“Nothing. Napagtanto ko lang kung gaano ka ka-clingy sa akin on those days na magkasama tayo!” Natatawa kong sabi. I’m trying to mask my worries and what-ifs with my laugh.

Pinanliitan niya ko sa kanyang mata. I stared back at him, matching the intensity of his gaze. In the end, he was the one who looked away. Ezequil heaved.

“May mas lala pa rito.”

Tumawa na ako ng malakas.

Mabuti at kinagat niya naman ang paing ko.

“Really? Should I be afraid of it?”

Ngumisi lang siya.

Ramdam ko ang pag-alis ng kanyang kamay sa loob ng long sleeve ko. Inayos niya ang damit ko sa likod bago kinulong ang aking mukha gamit ang kanyang malalaking palad!

“Ang liit ng mukha mo.”

I rolled my eyes at him.

The guy suppressed a deep laugh.

“But this face has been the subject of my desire for quite some time now.”

Dahan-dahang kumunot ang noo ko.

“What are you talking about, Ezequil? Kulang ka ba sa tulog? Tulog ka muna bago tayo mag-swimming mamaya.” sabi at akmang aalis na rito sa ibabaw niya pero binagsak niya muli ang kanyang braso sa baywang ko.

My heart kicked.

“I would trade everything I have right now just to spend time with you, Zenver Maranzano. I will do everything to hold you in my arms like this again.”

“E-Ezequil…” No matter how hard I tried to keep my voice steady, that word still came out weak.

“Even if I have to walk through fire and shattered glass… even if I have to face the former mafia lord and the current one-I will, Zen. I’m willing to start a war for you.”

Tinawanan ko lang ang kaseryosohan ng kanyang mukha. However, deep inside I’m now shaking. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan at bakit ako nanginginig ng ganito ngayon. Dammit! Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa mga sinabi niya o sa mga handa niyang gawin. I feel like he was dead serious when he spouted those words right in front of my face.

“Plano mo yatang sumali sa mga Marvel heroes sa mga pinagsasabi mo, huh!” Panunukso ko sa kanya. Akala ko ngingisi siya kaso nanatiling seryoso ang kanyang mukha at nanunukat ang kanyang mga titig sa aking mukha.

“I’m not kidding here, Zenver.”

“Heh! You will do everything? Lahat talaga, Suldua?”

He grimaced when I say his name.

“Hmm!”

“Paano kong sabihin kong mag-invest ka sa Gamma Es?” Nangingiti kong wika. Tukoy ko sa mga negosyong hawak nina Ehann, Evren, at Ester.

“Do you really want me to?”

“Tsk! Biro lang iyan, ’no! Halibawa lang.”

Ngumisi siya pero hindi naman iyon abot sa kanyang mga mata. Hinaplos na niya naman ang mukha ko.

“Of course, alam kong biro mo lang iyon.” Ngumisi siya pero ang boses niya nanatiling seryoso. “I bet you wouldn’t even want to conceive a baby with my genes, would you?”

My eyes expanded. Bigla na lang akong nanlamig nang marinig ko iyon mula sa kanya. Para akong binuhusan ng nagyeyelong katotohanan!

Dammit! Shit! Damn you, Zenver! How did you fucking forget about that thing?

“W-what the hell are you talking about?” My heart is pounding.

“Forget about it, my queen. I’m just… spouting nonsense,” he said, shaking his head.

“Yeah… super… nonsense! Besides, gusto mo bang magka-anak na?” With his current state and situation with his father? Of course, hindi naman ako ang bubuntisin niya kaya bakit ba ako nagkakaganito?

“No,” he sneered.

I knew he would say it.

He was about to capture my lips again when we heard his phone ringing inside the villa. Sabay kaming napatingin sa nakabukas na bintana. Kita ko rin ang telepono niyang nagwawala sa center table ng sala.

Inalalayan niya ako sa pagbangon mula sa pagkakadapa sa kanyang ibabaw.

“Ayaw mo pang pumasok?”

Umiling ako sa kanya. “Susunod ako.”

“Okay,”

Nang pumasok siya; humarap naman ako sa dagat na kulay asul. Ginugulo ng hangin ang aking buhok at long sleeves na suot. Pumikit ako at dinama ang maalat na simoy ng hangin.

Pumasok sa isip ko ang nangyari sa amin nang gabing iyon!

Safe ba iyong ginawa ni Ezequil? Damn! For what I remember… he cum inside me! For god’s sake. Sa loob ko! Pero kinaumagahan naman no’n naramdaman ko naman na may lumabas sa akin. I was leaking despite him cleaning me before we sleep. Ipagdarasal ko talaga sa lahat ng santo at santa na sana lumabas lang ang lahat ng pinutok ni Ezequil sa loob ko! Shit!

My eyes fixed on the limestone cliff rising from the seawater like a sleeping giant. The scenery was breathtaking, with white sand stretching endlessly and the sea glimmering in hues of blue. But despite that, my thoughts about what Ezequil said earlier kept dragging my mood down to its lowest.

Isang buntonghininga ang aking pinakawalan bago ako nag-decide na pumasok sa loob. Tama rin naman dahil gusto kong uminom ng malamig na malamig na tubig upang mahimasmasan ako.

Pagkapasok ko sa loob ay wala si Ezequil sa sala. Sa pag-aakala kong nasa kwarto siya ay dumeretso naman ako sa kusina kaso hindi ako tuluyang nakalapit doon nang marinig ko ang mahina ngunit pagalit na boses ni Ezequil.

“I fucking know what I’m doing! You don’t have to remind of that!”

I turned around. Ayaw kong mang-eavesdrops.

“I’m almost done with this game. Just watch and it will be over soon! I also hate this situation!”

Napakurap-kurap ako roon. Gusto kong sumugod kay Ezequil at magtanong pero wala akong lakas. Nakuyom ko ang aking mga kamay. Wala naman siyang binanggiy na pangalan pero bakit pakiramdam ko… dammit!

Kahit gaano pa ako kakuryoso kung sino ang katawagan ni Ezequil. Umakto akong parang walang narinig. What does he mean by ‘game’? Sa set-up ba iyon namin? Papaano iyong situation? Gosh! Everything I heard fit perfectly into our arrangement. Everything matches our current situation exactly! Hindi siya nag-drop ng name pero tingin ko… he was pertaining to our current situation?

“Ayaw mo pa bang maligo?” tanong niya sa akin.

Nakahiga lang kasi ako sa buhangin at suot ang sunglasses ko. Nag-ooverthink ako rito.

“You go first.” sagot ko.

“My queen,”

Bakit ayaw ko nang marinig ang petname na iyon mula sa kanya? Alam ko naman sa una na laro lang itong lahat. Set-up lang at pansamantala, pero bakit ganito? Bakit parang nasasakal ako?

Bumangon ako at saka binaba ang sunglasses ko sa tungki ng aking ilong.

“I forgot my sunblock. Kukunin ko lang sa villa.”

May distansya sa villa itong pwesto namin ngayon.

“Hindi na naman masakit ang araw. It’s fine na wala ng sunblock.”

“I don’t want to. I have sensitive skin!” Pag-aarte ko. Tsk! Noon nga naglalaro kami ng lupa sa Sagada! Talagang badtrip lang ako ngayon!

“Then, I’ll get it for you!”

“No, need. Ako na.” sabi ko at tumayo.

Inabot ko ang panga niyang kumukuyom. “Just wait for me, hmm?”

Damn, game and situation!

“Okay, bilisan mo.” Binigay niya sa akin ang susi ng villa niya.

Tumango ako sa kanya.

Naglakad ako tungo sa villa at paminsan-minsan ay nililingon ko rin si Ezequil sa likod. Nakaharap lamg siya sa dagat.

Nang makapasok ako sa villa ay kaagad akong tumungo sa kwarto dahil nando’n pa rin ang bag ko. Kahit saan ako basta may dagat hindi ko talaga nakakalimutan magdala ng sunblock.

Lumabas din kaagad ako bitbit ang sunblock ko. Nilock ko ang pinto at ganon na lang ang pag-alpas ng dibdib ko nang pag-ikot ko bumungad sa akin ang isang babae!

She’s a tall, petite, and beautiful woman with an innocent look, her long hair framing her heart-shaped face. Matangkad siya ng konti sa akin.

This woman… she’s familiar!

“Who are you?” I asked cautiously.

She raised her eyebrow at me.

“I should be the one who’s asking you that, miss!” May arte niyang sabi.

God! Her voice. I think I’ve heard her voice somewhere before!

“I’m sorry?” I said, shaking my head.

She heaved, crossing her arms over her bouncy breasts.

“Well, let me introduce myself. I’m Britta… Britta Morigan, Ezequil Suldua’s fiancée!”

Fiancée?

What the hell?!

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CHAPTER 16

Chapter 16

Disappointment was an understatement of what I felt that day. I was ashamed. I was frustrated. I was furious. I felt ashamed of how brazen I had been in front of that girl—Britta. I was frustrated with how it affected me. It was more than I had ever imagined. I was furious—not at anyone, not even at him, but at myself. I was mad because I fell for it. I fell into his trap—his words, his actions. I was like a lamb caught in a predator’s net: helpless and maimed.

Ever since I got home, I’ve felt like I’m not myself. I feel lost and reckless. Lahat ng mga sinasabi ko dati bumuhos sa akin ngayon at nahihiya ako. Nahihiya ako sa kinasasadlakan ko ngayon.

Galit na galit ako pero hindi ko alam kung saan ko ito ibubuhos. Gusto kong magwala, sumigaw, at manakit pero hindi ko alam kung sino ang pagbubuhusan ko nito. Kahit na magkulong ako roon sa pink room ko kung saan din iyong mga collections ko hindi na nali-lift no’n ang bumabagsak kong mood!

I knew, even before I agreed to Ezequil’s proposal, how I truly felt about him. I was aware of my feelings. I thought his proposal would be the best solution—an answer to my predicaments. But it only worsened my problems. Now, I think I’m not really good at making decisions. I’m only good at reading and understanding myself better.

And even before, lagi na akong nakadepende kay Papadad at kay Dad. Nasanay ko sa atensyon na binibigay nila sa akin. Nasanay ako komportableng buhay na binigay nina Dad sa akin. I was too dependent, to the point that it wrecked me right now.

It was no one’s fault except my own. I’ve never stood up for myself. I’ve never fought for myself. I always had Kuya Zy and Zhu (even though I’m older by a few minutes).

I blinked back the tears that were starting to form in my eyes.

Nakakatuwang isipin na ayaw kong tingnan ako ng pamilya ko na mahina ako at kailangan lagi ng proteksyon nila pero hindi ko naman kayang harapin ang problema ko ngayon. Nagpakampante ako ng sobra. I was only thinking about a certain moment, and I didn’t consider its aftermath.

Dammit! I knew I liked Ezequil Suldua, yet I dove into his proposal like it was a fountain of joy. I swam in it, and now I can’t fight back the repercussions of my actions.

Para kong tangang tumalon sa malalim na lawa. Nagandahan lang ako at tingin ko mababaw lang siya kaya tumalon ako. At ngayon nagtatampisaw na ako sa desisyong ako lang din ang nagtulak sa aking sarili. Hindi ko na alam kung papaano ko iaahon ang aking sarili sa lupa.

It has been almost two weeks since I left Ezequil’s villa without him knowing. I just left a short message for him. I only texted him that I had an emergency, which is why I needed to head back home. After that brief moment I had with him, the reality hit me—how dull my life had become after he added some color to it.

Shit! Sounds so cheesy but… yeah… iba talaga ang epekto ng impaktong iyon sa akin. Bwesit!

Bumangon ako sa aking kama. Tiningnan ko ang aking telepono at napunta ako sa GC namin (naming pamilya). Maagang uuwi sina Ehann, Evren, at Ester dahil nag-aya si Papadad na magb-barbecue kami. Simula naman nang makauwi ako ay pansin kong hindi na gaanong umuuwi dito si Kuya Zy.

Dati pa man busy na siya lagi sa work pero ngayon mas naging madalang na! O baka ako lang ang nagkukulong sa kwarto ko?

At sa gabi ring iyon ay napuna ako ni Kuya Zy. Napuno niya ako sa palagian kong papak ng lollipop! Bago umakyat si Kuya para puntahan si Zhu sa room nito may sinabi pa siya sa akin.

Kuya Zy’s eyes scrutinized me before he shook his head. “Never mind… eat responsibly!”

When Kuya Zy was out of my sight. Inis kong niluwa ang lollipop na nasa bibig ko at tinitigan ito. What the hell!?

I took a deep breath to fill my lungs with air. Lately… just lately, I’ve found myself sleeping more often. I love sweets—dati pa man ay favorite ko na naman sila pero ngayon… itong lollipop na ang kina-aadikan ko which is hindi naman ako ganon ka-fan ng lollipop!

“Anak?”

Sumigla kaagad ang mukha ko nang marinig ko ang boses ni Papadad. Umupo si Papadad sa tabi ko. Amoy BBQ na si Papadad kaso gusto ko pa rin ang amoy niya!

“Okay ka lang ba?” tanong niya sa akin at kinuha ang kamay ko.

I smiled widely. “Yes, Papadad!”

Pinanliitan niya ako aa kanyang mata. “Talaga? Simula nang umuwi ka galing sa Palawan ay panay na lang ang kulong mo rito sa bahay. Wala ba kayong lakad ni Milan?”

See? Even Papadad noticed—napapansin niya ang pagbabago sa akin!

Ngumuso lang ako. Actually, Milan has been flooding my inbox in the past few days. Gusto niyang mag Switzerland kami kaso ayaw ng katawan ko. Tinatamad na ako sa gala! Shit! It was one thing as well na nagbago sa akin. Mas gusto ko nang humilata sa kama kaysa lumabas!

“I just got back home from Palawan, Papadad!” Gusto ko muna rito.“ Niyakap ko si Papadad. Ang sarap niya pa rin talagang yakapin! Noon nag-aagawan pa kami rito ay Papadad eh!

Natuwa naman siya at niyakap ako.

“Mabuti naman. Ang tamlay ng bahay kapag wala ka rito, Zen.”

“Ako kasi ang rainbow sa bahay na ’to, Papadad!”

Humaklak si Papadad. “Tama. Talagang bagay sa’yo ang palayaw ng Daddy mo sa’yo. Rainbow princess!”

I giggled. Somehow, gumaan ang pakiramdam ko habang niyayakap ni Papadad. Iba pa rin talaga ang comfort na dala ng mga maliliit na braso ni Papadad! Kaya siguro dito nahumaling ang Daddy namin.

I chuckled inwardly.

“Love,”

Kumalas si Papadad sa pagkakayakap namin nang marinig niya si Dad.

“Zen, you are eating sweets again. Nag-iihaw na kami sa labas ng Papadad mo.”

“Hmm! Sina Evren parating na rin sila!” Excited na wika ni Papadad.

Umupo si Daddy sa tabi ni Papadad at walang hiyang humalik si Dad sa leeg ni Papadad. I think my daddy’s favorite part of Papadad’s body was his neck!! Sa tagal na naming magkakasama sa bahay talagang napapansin ko iyon. Of course, very vocal sina Papadad at Daddy sa isa’t isa.

“Love, ano ba! Amoy usok na ako!” Papadad’s frail protest.

“It still smells like my Cassidy Maranzano,” Daddy grumbled against Papadad’s neck.

“Tyson, mahiya ka sa anak mo rito!”

“Daddy, I’m here.” Biro ko naman.

Inalis ni Daddy ang mukha sa leeg ni Papadad. Tinampal naman ni Papadad ang bibig ni Daddy.

“Bibig mo talaga, Tyson!”

Daddy just grinned at Papadad.

“Oh my rainbow princess,” si Dad.

Napailing ako.

Sa dinner naming iyon ay may napansin akong kakaiba kay Kuya Zy. Pansin ko na panay na ang ngiti niya which is so… so unusual! Hindi naman kasi palangiti itong si Kuya. Lagi nga siyang nasasabihan na carbon copy raw ni Daddy.

In the following days, I busied myself helping Papadad in the kitchen. Tingin ko kasi kung wala akong gagawin sa loob ng kwarto at titingin lang sa kisame ay masisiraan na ako ng bait. Maliban sa pagtingin ko sa oras-oras na paglaki ng pera ko wala na kong pinagkakaabalahan pa.

At isa pa ayaw kong mapansin nina Papadad ang pagbabago ko. Ang pagbabago ng aking sarili na kahit ako kinakabahan na! Dammit!

“Papadad, ang dami naman nitong adobo na niluto mo.” sabi ko habang hawak ang babasaging lalagyan ng adobo. Hinahain na kasi iyon ni Papadad.

“Dadalhan ko ang mga kapatid mo nito, Zen. Sasama ka ba?”

I crunched my nose. “Don’t wanna, Papadad. Gabi na rin.”

“Sasama ang Daddy mo sa akin, Zen. Matatagalan kasi ang mga kapatid mo kaya dadalhan ko ng pagkain sa opisina nila.”

“Ay oo nga pala, Ma’am Cass sabi ni Ate Bebet kanina na nagtanong sa kanya si Sir Zyrho kung saan daw ang may pinakamasarap magluto ng letson sa Cebu!” untag ng isang katulong namin. Si Ate Bebet ay katulong namin na mula pa sa Carcar, Cebu.

Nakakatuwa rin itong mga katulong namin kasi kahit alam nilang lalaki si Papadad. Tinatawag nila itong Ma’am. Si Papadad naman hindi na problema sa kanya kung ano man ang tawag sa kanya ng nga tao.

“Huh? May occasion ba, Papadad?”

Napatigil din si Papadad. “Hindi ko alam, Zen. Wala naman yata.” Lito ring sabi ni Papadad.

“Kung ganon, bakit nagtatanong si Kuya ng ganon kay Ate Bebet, Papadad?”

Dahil doon sinadya ko si Kuya Zy sa bahay niya! Nagdala na rin ako ng adobo na luto ni Papadad. Wala sa plano ko ito. Plano ko lang na humiga sa bahay at tawagan si Milan kaso nakuryoso ako bigla dahil sa sinabi ng aming katulong. Kahit gabi na; bumyahe talaga ako to feed my curiosity!

Kilala na naman ako ng mga tauhan ni Kuya Zy kaya naman pinapasok lang nila ako sa bahay ng deretso. Sinabi pa kung saan si Kuya na siyang hindi pa raw matagal bago dumating. As usual busy-busy’ing na naman siya. Akala mo talaga pamilyadong tao na.

Nang makarating ako sa dining area ay masigla akong sumigaw.

“Kuya! Nagpapayesta ka pala rito hindi mo naman kami inimbitahan…” Unti-unting nawala ang boses ko sa aking lalamunan.

Dumapo naman ang mata ko sa isang lalaki. Lalaki na maliit, mukhang mataray, at maarte. Medyo maliit din siya kompara sa akin. Nagkatitigan kaming dalawa.

What the hell? Sino ito? Hindi naman ito tauhan ng Kuya ko, right?!

“Zen?” Si Kuya Zyrho at kaagad na napatayo nang makabawi. “What are you doing here?”

Pinutol ko ang titig ko sa lalaking iyon. Honestly, he’s really beautiful! Kahit palaging pagalit siya kung tumingin, hindi nababawasan ang kanyang kagandahan. Dammit! His face card never declined!

Nakita kong naaalarma si Kuya kaya binalik ko ang mata ko sa maliit ay magandang lalaki. Ngayon ko lang nakita na ganito ang Kuya ko.

“Who are you?” Mataman kong tanong sa magandang lalaki.

In my peripheral vision, I saw how Seiven, one of Kuya Zy’s men, gulped.

Tumayo siya mula sa kanyang kinauupuang silya. Did I ruin their dinner?

Nanlaki ang mata ni Kuya at saka mabilis na lumapit sa akin. Hinawakan niya ako.

“Zen let’s talk sa labas.” Tila nais na akong hila-in ni Kuya palayo ng dining.

Tinaasan ko sa aking kilay ang magandang lalaki. Ngayon na nakatayo na siya kitang-kita ko na ang buong katawan niya. Tinitigan ko siya mula ulo hanggang sa paa niya. He is not just beautiful; he also has a nicely built body—lean and petite. Makinis at maputi rin.

“Zen,” si Kuya.

“Your boyfriend, kuya?” tanong ko para kay Kuya pero ang tingin ko nasa maliit na lalaki pa rin.

“Hindi!”

Napakurap-kurap naman ako sa biglaan nitong pagsigaw bago pa makasagot ang kapatid ko!

“Why are you here?” Parang nagsusumamo na si Kuya sa tabi ko.

Shit! Who is this person? Bakit tingin ko… hindi lang ito nakikikain sa bahay ni Kuya? Ang lakas din ng loob niyang pandilatan ng mata si Kuya! The audacity!

“I just heard na pumunta kang Cebu to buy lechon, akala ko kung ano ang occasion at bumili ka. That’s why pumunta ako rito. Makikikain sana.” Pagbabaling ko na kay Kuya. Marami namang foods sa bahay.

“At ano iyang dala mo?” Nagbaba ng tingin si Kuya sa dala kong Tupperware.

Ngumiti ako. Binigyan ko lang ng side eye iyong maganda at maliit na lalaki bago ko itinaas ang bitbit na baunan at binuksan. I almost forgot the adobo.

“Charan! It’s adowbow! Nagluto si Papadad kanina at naisip kong dalhan ka!” Makulit kong untag.

Kaagad namang binaba ni Kuya ang takip ng baunan na hawak ko.

My eyes widened in shock as I watched that beautiful, petite man cover his mouth and let out a gagging sound, as if he were about to throw up.

“Blargh—”

Hindi ako nakagalaw sa aking kinatatayuan at tiningnan ko lang si Kuya na mabilis na sumunod sa lalaking dumuduwal!

Binigay ko kay Seiven ang baunan at sumunod kina Kuya na patungo sa banyo.

With my very own two eyes, I witnessed how caring, gentle, and tender Kuya Zy was toward the man. The way my Kuya rubbed the man’s back said a lot — things I remembered seeing when my Papadad was pregnant back then.

That night, nalaman kong buntis pala ang lalaking iyon. Dammit! Nabuntis siya ni Kuya at tinatago sa bahay niya! Nakaramdam ako ng tampo nang malaman kong alam ni Zhu pero hindi niya nasabi sa akin.

Sinunod naman ni Kuya ang sinabi ko sa kanya na ipakilala itong nabuntis niya sa aming pamilya. At hindi ko naman inaasahan na magiging magaan ang loob ko kay Arth— kay Maximilian Arthur Lacsamana!

Nagwala lang ako nang pinaglihian niya yata ang rare collection ko na si Ken! Because of it, sinasadya ko na si Ken sa bahay ni Kuya but of course to see Arth na rin. Natutuwa ako na may nakikita akong tulad ko na bearer din, aside kay Papadad. Sometimes, si Kuya Zy naman ay tumatawag na rin sa akin to cheer up Arth. Kaya naman mabilis akong napanatag sa kanya. One thing I can say about him is that he was in denial—just like I was the first time I had feelings for ’ that’ man. Arth was so deep in denial that he couldn’t admit he liked—no, loved—my Kuya Zy!

Galing ako sa bahay ni Kuya Zy. Bumisita na naman ako roon at dumeretso ako sa kwarto dahil pakiramdam ko pagod na pagod ang katawan ko.

“Dammit!” Mura ko at humiga sa kama.

Nahihilo rin ako na hindi ko maipaliwanag ang nararamdaman ko! Ilang beses na akong nahilo at parang nasusuka pero bearable naman siya. Not until today na parang buong mundo ko umiikot na.

Awtomatik akong napaahon mula sa aking pagkakahiga nang maramdaman ko ang pagbaliktad ng aking sikmura.

Sumuka ako ng puro laway sa toilet.

“Dammit! Lord, please hindi naman siguro ako…”

Kahit na nahihirapan ako ay sinikap kong makuha ang Pregnancy Test na binili ko last week sa drugstore. May kutob na kasi ako dahil sa mga symptoms na nararamdaman ko pero hindi ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na gamitin iyon. Sinunod ko ang guidelines kong papaano ito gamitin at pikit matang naghintay sa results!

Nilapag ko ito sa aking kama. At ganon na lang ng paglambot ng tuhod ko nang makita ko ang resulta nito. Lihim na bumaha ang luha ko nang makita ko ang resulta no’n.

The two red lines say it all—it’s positive! I’m carrying his child!

“T-this can’t be true! Papadad, Daddy!” Iyak kong sambit kahit na mag-isa naman ako sa kwarto at napaupo sa sahig!

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CHAPTER 17

Chapter 17

I feel guilty. Nag-aalala sa akin sina Papadad dahil sa sama ng pakiramdam ko. Dinadalhan pa ako ng gamot dito sa silid at kapag tapos na akong kumain ay pinapainom din ako ng gamot pero niluluwa ko lang din ang mga iyon. Dahil sa tamlay ko at pamumutla ay gusto na nila akong dalhin sa ospital upang matingnan kaso umayaw ako. Kahit si Zhuri gusto na akong suriin kaso ayaw ko. Nagpapalusot lang ako na masakit ang t’yan ko, ang ulo ko at kung ano-ano pa.

Naiiyak ako. Kahit na ilang beses na akong nag-PT ganon pa rin ang resulta. I thought may defect lang iyong unang pregnancy test na ginamit ko kaya umulit ako nang umulit dahil baka mali lang kaso hindi talaga. Positive silang lahat.

“Damn this! Damn that brute!” I cursed, collecting the pregnancy tests scattered on my bed and throwing them into the drawer beside it.

I remembered how that brute wore a condom-then took it off! He fucking removed it and plunged his flesh inside me, releasing his seed! Shit!

Sinadya niya ba iyon?

Napaismid naman ako. Sinadya niya tapos ayaw niya naman ng anak. I mean, sa huling pag-uusap namin ay iyon ang intindi ko sa kanyang sagot sa akin.

Sasabihin ko ba ito sa kanya? Dammit! I won’t! Kung kaya kong ipagbuntis itong nasa sinapupunan ko na malayo sa pamilya ko at sa lahat… gagawin ko. Kung kinakailangan na umalis ako ng bansa at itago ito sa lahat. Gagawin ko!

I lean my body against the headboard. My eyes dart to the picture frame hanging in the upper left corner of the wall, just above the wide TV screen. It’s a photo of our family. We love having photoshoots together. Sobrang dami na nga ng family pictures namin dahil taon-taon yata namin iyong ginagawa.

I wasn’t prepared for this! I didn’t see it coming! Walang-wala ito sa plano ko! Pero ngayon na nandito na siya… wala akong plano na ipalaglag ito. Hindi sumagi sa isip ko na ipakuha ito o ano.

I know the feeling. We’ve been there-Kuya Zy and Zhuri-we know what it’s like. We loathed our father when we learned that he wanted us gone. Galit, panghihinayang, lungkot at pagkadismaya. Ilan lamang iyan sa nararamdaman namin nang malaman namin na gusto kaming ipakuha ng daddy. Nangulila kami sa isang ama namin pero grabe rin ang bigo na naramdaman nang malaman namin ang katotohanang iyon.

That’s why I don’t want my soon-to-be child to feel that way. Ayaw kong maramdaman niya ang ganoon. Hindi man magiging buo ang pamilya namin tulad ng meron ako ngayon… pero susubukan ko. Susubukan ko punan ang lahat ng kailangan niya.

But honestly, right now, I’m so scared. The fear is twice as intense as what I felt before. This time, it really hits some sensitive points in my heart. Ito na yata ang consequences ng mga action at ng mga decision ko na hindi ko pinag-iisipan ng mabuti.

Napahawak naman ako sa aking t’yan. I detached myself from the headboard when I felt my stomach twist. Mabilis akong bumaba ng kama at tumakbo tungo sa bathroom ng kwarto ko. Ngunit hindi pa ako nakaabot kahit sa sink man lang ng banyo ay dumuwal na ako. Naupo ako sa sahig at saka dumuwal nang dumuwal doon.

Sa bawat duwal ko tumutulo ng kusa ang aking mga luha. Pakiramdam ko parang gusto nang lumabas ng mga laman ko sa t’yan.

I was panting when I stopped vomiting. I’m still feeling nauseous, but I’m no longer throwing up. I also feel dizzy right now and keep salivating.

Nang makaya ko nang itayo ang aking sarili ay nagmumug ako at naghilamos bago nilinis ang sahig na nasuka-an ko.

Pagkalabas ko ay kumuha ako ng isang lollipop na nasa drawer ko at sinalampak ko sa aking bibig upang matigil ang paglalaway ko.

The knock on my door made me alert. I turned toward the door and forced myself out of bed.

“Princess? Anak? Bumaba ka na kakain na tayo.” It was Daddy.

I took a deep breath before twisting the doorknob and swinging the door open. I saw my father smile widely at me, but his smile faded when he saw my face.

“Princess, what happened to you? Are you okay? Are you still sick?” Pag-aalalang tanong ni Daddy. Lumapit siya sa akin at saka kinulong ang mukha ko. Sinuri niya ang mukha.

“I will call your sister…”

“I’m fine, dad. U-uminom na naman ako ng meds.” Taranta ko namang sagot.

Daddy narrowed his eyes at me.

“Zen, ayaw kong itinatago mo ang totoong nararamdaman mo ngayon. If you feel sick, tell us. If you’re not well, let’s go and see a doctor. I’m worried, princess.”

Yumakap lang ako kay Daddy.

“I’m really fine, Dad.”

“Okay, bumaba na tayo. Your Papadad is waiting in the dining room.”

“You go first, Dad. I’ll follow in a bit.”

“You’re not skipping dinner, are you?”

Ngumiti ako ng matamlay kay Dad. “Susunod ako, Daddy.”

Nginingitian ko si Dad hanggang sa tumalikod na siya. Napahinga naman ako ng malalim at saka sumandal sa hamba ng pintuan.

Guilt was now engulfing me, especially seeing how worried they were about me. Tears welled up in my eyes. I wiped them away and went inside my room before I completely broke down in tears. Sumandal ako sa likod ng pinto at tumingala para huwag tumulo muli ang mga luha ko.

Nang kumurap ako ay hindi ko na napigilan ang aking mga luha. Naalala ko ang gabi no’ng nag-barbecue kami sa labas. Nabanggit ni Evren na partner pala ng Gamma Es ang Suldua ngayon!

God knows how hard I tried not to react or show any kind of emotion when I hear his surname! Also, kahit apilyedo lang nila kita ko rin ang disgusto ni Kuya Zy sa mga Sulduas. Pero mukhang wala nang magawa since sealed na yata ang partnership.

The heck! Bakit hindi ko alam na partner namin sila this year? O baka lately lang naging partner namin? I don’t fucking know what’s happening right now!

“Zen, dito ka anak.” Tapik ni Papadad sa tabi niya nang makarating ako sa dining.

“Kuya Zen, good evening!” ani Esther.

“Good evening, kuya!” si Ehann

“Kuya, are you alright?” si Evren naman.

Nginitian ko lang ang tatlo at saka tumabi kay Papadad. Ang hindi present sa hapag ay si Zhuri at si Kuya Zy. Si Daddy ay pinanood lang ako.

“Kumain ka ng marami, Zen, para manumbalik na ang lakas mo. Heto, kain na.” Hinainan pa talaga ako ni Papadad.

“Kami rin, Papadad!” ani naman ng tatlo.

Ngiting-ngiti sana si Papadad at akmang tatayo ngunit pinigilan siya ni Daddy.

“Malalaki na ang mga ’yan, love.”

Esther snorted. “Pero bakit ikaw pwede, dad? Papadad is even spoon-feeding you!”

Daddy grinned proudly. “Because I’ll always be your Papadad’s baby!”

“Eww! Cringe, Dad! So cringe!” sabi naman ni Ehann.

“May white hair ka na, dad! Tama na ang pa-baby mo kay Papadad.” Gatong pa talaga ni Evren. “Kami dapat bini-baby ni Papadad, right?” At humanap pa talaga siya ng kakampi!

Naging maingay ang aming dinner. Somewhat, nabawasan ang aking iniisip dahil sa mga kapatid ko at kina Daddy na nag-aasaran.

I don’t know how I’m going to tell my family about this pregnancy. I don’t know how to bring it up without them asking who the father is or who got me pregnant. Just the thought of opening up to them scares the hell out of me. And just imagining their reactions makes my heart tighten.

“Oh my gosh! I’ve been texting you to come here! You finally showed up!” Eksaherada ni Milan matapos bumeso sa akin. Hinila niya ako tungo sa leather na sofa dito sa mini office niya.

Kaagad siyang kumuha ng baso, liquor, at ice cubes. Tinabihan niya ako pagkatapos no’n.

“Sorry, I’m… I’m just not feeling well kaya hindi ako nakapunta sa’yo rito.” sabi ko sa kanya.

“Oh my! Kaya pala parang pagod ang boses mo sa mga calls natin. So…” tumingin siya sa alak sa harap namin bago muling binalik ang mata sa akin. “hindi ka iinom? Or keri lang ng katawan mo?”

Malungkot akong tumingin sa alak. Kung sana lang talaga karamdaman lang itong dinadala ko, iinom ako. Pero iba ito. May buhay na naunti-unting lumalaki sa t’yan ko. Yes, hindi pa man ito bata pero it’s a sign of a new vertebrate- individual that starts to grow in my womb.

“I’ll pass for now, Milan.”

“It’s fine.” Tinabi niya ang alak. “Sana hindi mo pinilit ang katawan mo na pumunta rito because of my texts, bruja. If you’re not feeling well, ipapahatid kita.”

“It’s fine, bruja. Nababagot na rin ako sa bahay kaya naisipan kung pumunta sa’yo.” Also, gusto kong sabihin kay Milan itong pagbubuntis ko. Tingin ko kasi mababawasan lang itong invisible na pasan-pasan ko sa aking balikat kung may pagsasabihan ako sa aking hinaharap ngayon.

“Yeah, ang tagal mong hindi lumabas sa mansion ninyo! I thought may something na nangyari sa Palawan kaya ka hindi lumalabas eh!” Natatawa niyang sabi.

Pinanlamigan ako sa kanyang sinabi.

“Pero, I know naman na wala since… you know. The last time we talked, you said that you had already abandoned your plan,” he said cautiously.

Kanina habang papunta ako rito ay determined na akong sasabihin ko sa kanya itong dinadala kong suliranin. Pero ngayon umuurong na ang lakas ng loob ko.

Also, she was the first person who noticed that I had feelings for Ezequil. Though, mukhang binibiro lang niya ako that time but jokes sometimes are half meant truth!

“Wala namang nangyari sa Palawan na… special or anything.” wika ko.

Milan cocked her eyebrow before dropping her weight onto the armrest of the sofa.

“Yeah… but since you’re already here, I might as well tell you the news I heard.” Pag-iintriga niya sa akin.

Tumaas naman ang kilay ko sa kanya.

“What news?” Bigla akong kinabahan!

Wala namang nakakaalam na buntis ako. Hindi naman siguro iyon ang narinig niya, right? Ako palang ang nakakaalam na buntis ako!

“It’s about Brixx Ezequil Suldua!”

I gulped.

“I heard that he is getting married!”

Napakurap-kurap ako. Parang may bumara sa lalamunan nang marinig ko iyon. I know that he has a fiancée, Britta, but I didn’t know it would happen this fast!“

“Zen? Bruja?”

Milan shook my arm.

“Yes?”

“Narinig mo ba ba ang sinabi ko? You’re spacing out.”

Hilaw akong ngumiti sa kanya. For some unknown reason my lips quiver.

“Narinig kita… ikakasal na si Ezequil. That’s… great!” Putol-putol kong wika.

“Pero baka hindi naman totoo? I mean, sa mukhang iyon ni Ezequil mukha namang hindi pa iyon ready magsettle down.”

“Well, we don’t know.” I shrugged my shoulders and took a deep breath to fill the void in my heart with air.

Hindi ako nagtagal sa opisina ni Milan at nagpaalam din ako sa kanya. I don’t want this day to over na wala akong mapagsasabihan about my situation. I need an ear to listen to me! That’s why I texted Arth.

‘Help me, Arth. I think I’m pregnant too! Please, don’t tell Kuya yet; he will skin me alive!’

Sent ko ng message kay Arth. Of course, alam ko na naman na pregnant talaga ako pero sinadya ko ang mensaheng iyon sa kanya. Ayaw ko lang na i-chika niya ito sa kapatid ko. Though hindi pa steady ang relasyon nila pero baka lang ilaglag niya ako.

“If you need someone to talk to, I’m ready to listen to you, Zen. If you want pumunta ka sa house ni Zyrho.’

Basa ko naman sa reply ni Arth sa akin. Hindi na ako nagdalawang isip at dumeretso na ako sa bahay ni Kuya. Wala si Arth at si Kuya nang makarating ako roon kaya naghintay ako sa kanila.

Habang naghihintay ako kay Arth ay hindi ako mapalagay sa sala. Panay ang upo at tayo ko tapos lakad. Inalok ako ng mga pagkain ng mga katulong sa bahay kaso wala akong ganang kumain. Naduduwal na nga ako eh.

At nang makita kong pumasok si Kuya at Arth ay kaagad akong tumayo. Sinalubong si Kuya ng kanyang tauhan. I saw them-Arth and Kuya Zy-talking quietly. Kuya Zy gently planted a kiss on Arth’s forehead before turning around and heading out.

Nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag nang makita kong umalis si Kuya. Si Arth naman ay nagmamadaling lumapit sa akin at niyakap niya ako.

Shit! This man is really lucky to have our brother. As much as we want our brother for ourselves, we knew this day would come.

“Hindi mo naman ako tini-trip lang sa message mo sa akin kanina, ’di ba, Zen?” Arth said as he pulled away from our embrace.

Naiyak ako sa harap ni Arth. Siguro dahil may mapagsasabihan na ako kaya ganito ako ka-emosyonal ngayon. Konting kilabit lang naiiyak na. Nagpunas ako sa aking mga luha.

“Sana trip or prank nga lang ito.” sabi ko sa kanya at kinuha ko ang aking handbag. Pinulot ko ang dala kong pregnancy tests. Ito sana ang ipapakita ko kay Milan kanina kaso nagbago ang isip ko nang marinig ko ang sinabi. Inabot ko kay Arth ang mga pregnancy test.

Napatitig siya roon.

“Kailan pa?” tanong niya.

Nagkibit ako kunwari sa aking balikat. “Lately, naging obsessed ako sa candies especially lollipops tapos panay ang tulog ko, nahihilo rin ako at nagsusuka.” Damn those things! Iyon talaga ang isa pa sa mga nagpapahirap sa akin.

“Walang ibang nakakaalam?”

I shook my head.

“Ikaw lang.”

“Hindi ba nakahalata sina Tita at Tito?”

Inilingan ko ulit siya.

“Sinabi ko lang na nilalagnat ako. Pinapainom nga ako ng gamot pero niluluwa ko lang din dahil may kutob na ako ever since someone took me.” Sobrang guilty ko na nga sa mga ginawa ko pero kapag naiisip kong magsabi sa kanila ay pinapangunahan ako ng kaba at takot.

“Hindi ba kayo gumamit ng proteksyon?”

Napaikot ako sa aking mata sa kanya. Gumamit pero hinubad ng tanga! Tanga talaga pero mukhang tanga rin ako. Hindi ako nagprotesta eh.

“Pareho ninyo ni Kuya Zy, Arth hindi rin.”

Sumama ang mukha niya saglit.

“Anyway, sino ba ang ama? Kilala mo? Tanda mo ang mukha? Ang pangalan nakuha mo ba?” Curious niyang tanong.

“All of the above, Arth.”

“Huh?”

“Kilala ko kung sino siya, kilala kong ama nang nakabuntis sa akin, tanda ko ang mukha niya, at alam ko kahit ang buong pangalan niya.”

“Then tell him.” aniya na para bang ang dali no’ng gawin!

I wet my lips with my tongue and crossed my arms over my chest. I sighed heavily before flopping back against the sofa’s headrest.

“I will never.”

“Why? Itatago mo ang anak mo?”

Oo! Oo, itatago ko!

“I don’t like him, Arth.” Damn lie, Zenver! Damn lie!

“I don’t like Zyrho too.”

Napairap ako roon at nag-side eye sa kanya.

“But you’re here with Kuya.”

“I like him now. I fell in his little trap.” Mukha pang labag sa loob niyang untag. Napaawang na lang ako sa aking bibig.

“Oh, so romantic.” I said bitterly!

Zen took my hand. “Tell me, sinong ama, Zen?”

“I won’t tell you, Arth. I’m so sorry. Sorry talaga, Arth, for now ayaw kong sabihin kung sino ang father nitong magiging baby ko. Ngayon masaya lang ako na may masasabihan ako about this.”

Napapikit na lamang siya sa kanyang mata. Tumingala ako sa mataas na ceiling ng bahay.

“Pero hindi mo iyan matatago forever, Zen, especially sa pamilyang meron ka. Eventually, they will find out about this. At saka isipin mo rin magiging baby mo.”

“My family will hate me if they learn who impregnated me.” Mahina kong sabi saka huminga ng malalim bago ko ito muling binuga.

“They will understand, Zen.”

I gave Arth only a lopsided smile.

But secrets aren’t meant to be kept forever-like smoke, no matter how tightly you try to grasp it, it always slips through your fingers.

I was in the bathroom, vomiting violently, and Papadad was with me. He had brought some food because I hadn’t come down for our meal. Pero nagsusuka ako nang maabutan ni Papadad. Lumabas siya sa banyo upang maghanap ng gamot sa drawer ko.

The blood drained from my face, and a chilling coldness enveloped my body like a second skin as realization struck me!

Nagmamadali akong lumabas at ganon na lamang ang kinalaki ng mata ko nang makita kong hawak-hawak na ni Papadad ang mga pregnancy test na naiwan sa drawer ko.

“P-papadad,” I uttered, tears streaming down my cheeks.

“Zen,” umiyak na rin si Papadad at napatakip sa kanyang bibig.

Natulos lang ako sa aking kinatatayuan habang umiiyak si Papadad.

---

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CHAPTER 18

Chapter 18

Papadad shook his head, as if struggling to make sense of the result of the pregnancy test. Or perhaps, he simply didn’t expect something like this to happen to me. Siguro niya ito inaasahan kasi may pagka-attitude rin ako. May pagkataray at mapili rin ako kaya baka hindi ito inaasahan ni Papadad na mangyayari sa akin.

I’m old enough to have a family. May iba pa nga d’yan na mas bata pa na nabubuntis kaysa sa akin. However, I understand my Papadad. I understand why he reacts the way he does-because I’ve always been the most sheltered, the most protected in this household. Others say I’m the most precious member of the family, but the truth is, our parents have always treated us equally.

“Zenver,” usal ni Papadad at saka napapailing sa akin.

“Papadad…”

“These are yours?” Tukoy ni Papadad sa mga pregnancy test.

Nakagat ko ang aking ibabang labi at saka bumuhos muli ang aking mga luha. I tore my eyes away from Papadad. It hurt so much to know that I was the reason behind his tears. Seeing him cry felt like a sharp blade carving into my heart.

Tumango ako. Rinig ko ang pagsinghap ni Papadad.

“Zenver, h-how? Zenver nandito ka lang sa bahay. Papaano ito? I didn’t know that you had a boyfriend.”

Wala naman talaga akong boyfriend at hindi ko naman boyfriend ang nakabuntis sa akin.

Tiningnan ko si Papadad na patuloy ang pag-agos ng luha sa kanyang mga mata. Mahigpit din ang kanyang pagkakahawak doon sa pregnancy test sa kamay niya.

“Papadad, i-it’s not like that.” I choked out.

“Huh? Zenver, please tell me. Anak, sabihin mo sa akin kung papaano ito nangyari at sino ang ama ng dinadala mo. May nobyo ka ba? You tell me.” Humakbang si Papadad palapit sa akin kaso umatras ako. Napatigil siya nang makitang lumalayo ako sa kanya. A flicker of pain crosses Papadad’s face. “Anak, hindi ako magagalit. Si Kuya Zy mo magkakaanak na rin kaya ayos lang kung ikaw ay gusto mo na ring magpamilya. Hindi namin kayo pipigilan.” Pagsusumamo ni Papadad kaso umiling lang ako sa kanya.

“Papadad,”

“Zen, pakiusap naman! Kailangan ko ng paliwanag mo, anak! Papaano ito nangyari at sino ang ama? Nasaan siya ngayon? Alam niya ba ito? Pananagutan ka niya? Hayaan mo ang lalaking nakabuntis sa’yo na humarap dito. You know our reputation, Zen, but we won’t hurt the guy who got you pregnant!”

“No. No, Papadad! Hindi mo ’yan masasabi once you learn everything!” Diin kong sambit.

Binaba ni Papadad ang pregnancy tests sa kama at muling humakbang palapit sa akin pero umatras ako. Itinaas ko ang kamay ko para pigilan siya sa kanyang paglapit sa akin.

“Papadad, I’m sorry. I’m sorry but I can’t!” Hagulhol ko.

“Anak naman. Paano ka namin matutulungan? Papaano kita maiintindihan kung ganito ka?”

“M-maybe… soon. Maybe soon masasabi ko sa inyo, Papadad.”

Napahilamos si Papadad sa kanyang mukha.

“At ano, Zen? Palalakihin mo ang bata ng mag-isa?”

“I can, Papadad!”

“Zenver…” Lumunok si Papadad. “H-hindi mo kilala ang nakabuntis sa’yo? Ano ito? One n-night stand?”

Hindi ko inimik si Papadad. I just lowered my eyes to the floor. I didn’t want to see Papadad’s sad and teary eyes anymore. Doble ang sakit pabalik no’n sa akin.

Lumabas si Papadad sa kwarto ko. I heard him calling my dad’s name, so I rushed to the door and locked it. My room’s door has two locks, and they won’t be able to open it from the outside.

Umupo lang ako sa kama ko at umiiyak. Nabunyag na ang pinakalilihim kong sekreto sa kanila. A few days ago, bago umalis si Kuya Zy at Arth ay bigla na lang din akong tinanong ni Papadad kung napaano ba raw ako dahil nag-aalala raw sa akin si Arth. Nabanggit kasi ako ng buntis na iyon! Pahamak!

I thought that was the end. I believed my secret was still safe because my father, Tyson Maranzano, didn’t press any further. But then this happened!

I was biting my nails, my foot anxiously tapping against the floor. I felt anxious, nervous, and terrified. Any moment now, Daddy-and possibly my entire family-would find out about my pregnancy. How can I escape this? Is there still a way to hide… to run away?

Napatalon ako nang may kumatok na sa pinto!

“Princess, it’s Daddy. Please, open the door. Let’s talk!”

Even though I couldn’t see my Daddy’s face, I could clearly imagine his serious and cold expression. Just hearing his deep, baritone voice was enough to make my body tremble in fear.

“Kuya, please!” This time, it was Esther.

“Kuya, we can talk about this.” ani naman ni Ehann.

“Kuya, what are you so afraid of? If you’re pregnant, then that’s actually good!” Pareho kayo ni Kuya Zy na magkaka-baby.“ Si Evren.

Bakit pa sila nandito? Wala pa silang trabaho? Akala ko busy sila sa nalalapit na event ng Gamma Es? Sino lang ba ang wala sa labas ngayon?

“Anak, h-hindi kami galit. Ang Daddy mo… k-kung siya ang inaalala mo, huwag kang mag-alala kasi hindi naman kami galit. We just want explanation. We just want to know who’s the father. That’s all, Zen.” si Papadad naman.

“No! Ayoko! Ewan n’yo muna ako! Ayaw kong maka-usap kayo!” sigaw ko naman sa kanila.

“Zenver!” Daddy roared.

“Love, calm down!”

“Kuya, nag-aalala lang kami. Si Papadad. Sige na, Kuya!” Pamimilit pa ni Esther.

“Ayoko nga! I want to be alone right now! I don’t want to talk to all of you!” I yelled.

“Kuya!”

“Kuya, gusto ko lang naming tulungan-”

“I don’t need i-it!” sigaw ko pero nanginig ang boses ko dahil sa iyak ko.

Inis kong winalis ang aking mga luha. Basang-basa na ang pisngi ko dahil sa aking mga luha.

“Zenver!”

“If you keep on insisting, aalis ako. Aalis ako at hindi ninyo ako mahahanap!” Banta ko sa kanila.

“Princess… are you really threatening us with that? Do you think I will never find you? Nahanap ko nga ang Papadad ninyo noon… ikaw pa kaya?”

Napalunok ako ng malalim dahil sa sinabi Daddy. This time, his voice was as cold as ice, and the restraint in his tone was unmistakably clear.

“I… I can, Dad.” My tears streamed down my cheeks once again.

How much more can I endure? How far will I go just to push them away?

“Princess, I love you so much. I never minded all your whims before. I understood you, loved you, and gave you everything-because that’s how much you mean to me. But right now, I don’t understand why you’re doing this. If… if you’re pregnant with someone else’s child, I won’t mind-we won’t mind. We’re just asking for an explanation, Zen.”

Hindi ko na sila inimik. Dumapa ako sa kama ko at binaon ko ang aking mukha at saka doon humagulhol ng iyak. Tinakpan ko ang aking tenga dahil ayaw ko nang marinig ang kanilang mga boses.

I’m not yet ready! Ayaw ko pa! I don’t want to see their disappointed faces!

Tumigil din sila. Natahimik sila sa labas. Dumaan ang ilang oras at kumalam na ang sikmura ko kaso hindi ako kumain. I don’t have an appetite to eat even with the foods that Papadad has brought. Mas pinili kong magbalat doon sa lollipop at iyon ang pinagdiskitaan. Gutom ako pero iba ang gusto ko ng aking katawan.

Ngunit ilang sandali lang ay muli na naman silang kumatok sa labas. Pinipilit na naman nila akong palabasin. Sinusubukan pa nilang buksan ang pinto kaso naka-lock ito rito sa loob ng silid ko kaya hindi sila nagtagumpay. Even though I threatened them, they still keep banging on my door.

Hanggang na natigilan ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni Kuya Zy!

“Kuya?” Mahina kong usal. I thought they were on their short getaway. I thought they were in Sagada? Umuwi sila ni Arth? Nandito rin si Arth?

“Zen, please! We’re not mad, okay? Let us talk,” Kuya Zy pleaded from the other side of the door.

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa pituan. Humawak ako sa doorknob kaso napaigik naman ako nang biglang may sumapak sa pinto.

“Zhuri mas lalong hindi tayo pagbubuksan ni Zen dahil sa ginawa mo.” Kuya Zyrho growled.

Nanghihina ang mga kamay ko. Naibaba ko itong muli at saka bumalik sa aking kama. Ngayon kompleto na sila sa labas.

Rinig ko ang inis na pagbuga ng hangin ni Zhuri.

“Anak, Zhuri.” It was Papadad’s low yet shaky voice.

“Siya ang may kasalanan dito, Papadad, pero siya ang nagmumukmok sa loob. We need an explanation kung papaanong nabuntis siya pero nagkukulong siya d’yan.” I closed my eyes when Zhuri shouted, and a loud bang on my door followed. “May rounds pa ako later, Zen!”

“Zhuri!” Kuya Zy interferes.

I balled my hands into fists. “I don’t want to talk to all of you!”

“Fuck, Zen! Sinong gago ang gumawa nito sa’yo? Pinilit ka ba? Tell me the name, ako ang tatapos kung sino–” Pinutol ko si Zhuri.

“No! No, Zhuri! Gusto kong mapag-isa! Umalis kayo!” Mabilis kong alma sa kanya.

My heart constricted when I heard Papadad’s cry again. Mabilis din naman akong umiyak.

“Zen, Papadad is crying.” sabi ni Kiya Zy.

“I will… try.” Napatayo ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni Arth mula sa labas! “Susubukan kong kausapin siya.”

“Zen?”

Lumapit ako sa pinto at humawak doon. Si Arth nga!

“Arth?!” usal ko.

“Can I come in? Let’s talk.” Napangiti ako sa kabila ng lumuluha kong mata.

“Nand’yan sila…” I weakly said.

“Palabasin mo siya sa room niya, Arth. Please!” Napalabi ako nang marinig ko ang pakiusap ni Papadad kay Arth.

“Thanks, baby.” Ang boses ni Kuya Zy ang huli kong narinig mula sa labas bago tumahimik at nagsalita ulit si Arth.

“Wala na sila, Zen.”

I dried my cheeks and lightly tapped my face before unlocking the door and opening it slightly for Arth. When I saw that he was alone, I opened the door wide for him.

Pinapasok ko siya sa kwarto ko at inakay ko siya sa kama ko. Pansin ko naman ang pangingiwi niya nang makita ang pink kong room.

What’s wrong? It’s my favorite color! Ang ganda kaya ng pink!

“Bakit hindi ka lumalabas? Zen, you need to talk to them.” aniya mayamaya.

Muli na naman akong naging emosyonal at bumalik sa aking isip ang mga nangyari kanina.

“Zen,” Arth subtly whispers.

“I don’t want to see their faces of disappointment.” My tears pour like heavy rainfal.

“They’re not, Zen. Worried lang sila.”

“They’re not sa ngayon, hindi sila disappointed but once malaman nila kung sino ang nakabuntis sa akin… they will, Arth.”

“Hindi naman judgemental ang pamilya mo, Zen. Alam mo ’yan.” Pag-aalo niya pa sa akin.

I closed my eyes tightly.

“I know pero hindi kasi ganoon, Arth. I got pregnant… b-by the son of our… o-our enemy.”

“Enemy?” Nagtagpo ang kanyang kilay.

Tamlay akong umiling kay Arth. “Family rival, Arth.”

“Hindi mababaw ang pamilya mo, Zen. They will understand. Kaya nga mag-uusap kayo. Talk to them, Zen. Si tita Cass umiiyak.”

“Natatakot din ako, Arth. Kuya… kuya will get mad, I’m sure of that. I disappointed them.” Argue ko kay Arth.

It’s ironic how I wanted to use Ezequil for this family, yet I ended up getting pregnant by the very guy I intended to use!

“No, Zen. Sa lahat si Zyrho ang makakaintindi sa’yo kasi… kasi pareho tayo ng pinagdaanan.”

I smiled at him melancholically.

“Zen,” Arth said, taking my hands and giving them a gentle squeeze.

“Mahal ka kasi ni Kuya from the beginning, Arth. Ako… laro-laro lang naman. Asshole pa ang nakabuntis sa akin.” I said bitterly.

“Zen, you are Maranzano’s princess. They love you, and I know they will understand. Sige, ipalagay natin na ma-dissapoint sila kagaya ng sinasabi mo at kinakatakutan mo, pero eventually, matatanggap din naman nila ito. Napapangunahan ka lang ng kaba mo, Zen. Saka, hindi ka nag-iisa okay? Nandito ako. Hmm?”

Tiningnan ko ang kamay namin ni Arth na magkahawak. I put some pressure on our intertwined hands.

“Thank you, Arth. Thank you for being here with me. You’ve been my shoulder, ear, and a good friend, Arth. I appreciate you so much!”

Ngumisi siya. “Wala iyon! Masaya ako na kahit papaano nakatulong ako sa’yo. Saka sino pa ba ang magtutulungan kundi tayo-tayo lang din naman!” He giggles.

After calming myself down, Arth and I decided to head down. Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa kamay ni Arth habang pababa kami!

“Zen, my princess!” Si Daddy ang unang yumakap sa akin at sinundan naman iyon ni Papadad.

“I’m so sorry, daddy.” I pouted as my tears made their way down my cheeks again for the nth time today!

Lumapit muna si Kuya Zy kay Arth. Niyakap ako nina Ehann, Evren, at Esther. And I murmured countless apologies to them-sorry for making them worry, sorry for shouting at them, sorry for being a cowardly sibling.

Giniya ako ni Esther paupo. Magkatabi kaming apat (Ehann, Evren, Esther at ako), sa kabila namin ay sina Daddy.

Their curious and eager eyes were fixed on me. My palms were sweating so much because of their gazes. I took a deep breath before starting.

“We’re not serious…” I said, fidgeting my fingers on top of my lap. “Ako… kaming dalawa… alam naming walang seryosong namamagitan sa amin. We’re just having fun until this happens.” Iyon naman din talaga ang katotohanan. Laro-laro lang iyong sa amin. Set-up lang na pinagkasunduan namin.

“You mean your fuck buddy impregnated you?” Si Zhuri ang unang nakapagsalita at hindi na maipinta ang kanyang mukha.

I just bend my head down, zipping my mouth.

“That’s not important anymore. We just wanna know who… who is he, Zen? Come, on, princess.” Daddy asked.

I looked up and saw daddy’s inquisitive stare fixed at me.

“Dad,” I uttered, my throat vibrated.

“Please, Zen.” Sinundan iyon ni Kuya Zy. “Hindi ako makakatulog nito, Zen. Knowing you are pregnant with whoever that motherfucker-”

Pero naputol si Kuya nang walang pag-aalilangan siyang binatukan ni Arth.

“Baby,” ungol nito.

“I said, be gentle to him, okay?” si Arth.

Napabuntonghininga na lang si Kuya at magsasalita na sana siya nang unahan ko na siya.

“Brixx Ezequil.” Dammit! Napa-crossed finger ako at nagwala ang puso ko sa loob ng aking dibdib.

“Brixx Ezequil… Zen,” si Ehann.

“Shit!” Mura naman ni Evren.

“Suldua, Zen?” Tumaas ang boses ni Zhuri.

I chose to shut my mouth and nodded to answer Zhuri.

“Brixx Ezequil Suldua! Fuck! Kaya ba pinasok na rin no’n ang negosyo natin kasi… alam na niya ito?” Zhuri’s tone holds so much hostility!

Muli ko siyang binalingan.

“No! Wala siyang alam, Zhuri. Matagal na ang huli naming communication.” Sangga ko naman.

“Why, Zen? Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa Suldua na iyon ito?” si Kuya naman.

I sneered, the bitterness spreading throughout my mouth as I heard Kuya’s question.

“He is getting married, kuya! Can you hear yourself?!” I pointed out!

“Right. Narinig ko rin iyan.” Evren seconded.

“That bastard! Ginawa ka niyang pampalipas oras? Fuck! Ako ang tatapos sa batang iyan!” Nagmumula si Dad sa kanyang pagtitimpi.

“Love, please!” Awat naman ni Papadad.

“Love you don’t understand. Our princess, si Zen…”

Papadad hugged Daddy. “I know, love. I know. I’m mad as well pero for Zen. Let’s all calm down.”

“Ayaw ko nang makita si Brixx. Wala siyang pakialam, kaya bakit ko sasabihin sa kanya itong baby ko? I want peace. Sinabi na niya rin naman na ayaw niya ng bata.” I said blandly.

I thought I would see disappointment on their faces. I thought they would get mad at me and scold me. But neither of those happened! Instead, I saw worry in their eyes.

Do I deserve them? Do I deserve their love and affection? Do I deserve these amazing people? Ito ba talaga ang sinigawan ko kanina at pinagbantaan ko?

“We will talk about the other matters some time. Ngayon ang importante alam na natin kung sino ang nakabuntis kay Zen. Isa pa… kung concern o may pag-aalala ang Brixx Ezequil na iyon kay Zen. He must be here right now. He must be fighting for Zen. Pero wala siya and is getting married. We will respect whatever Zen’s decision this time.” Papadad said.

Si Zhuri… galit siya, hindi sa akin pero kay Ezequil. But before she left my sinabi siya sa akin.

“I have an OBGYN friend. Sa kanya ka magpacheck-up okay? You take care of yourself and I’m so sorry for shouting earlier. We’re just worried, okay? I love you, Zen.” Si Zhuri at saka humalik sa aking noo. “Hindi mo kailangan ng duwag at asshole na lalaki. Kami na bahala sa’yo.”

Sina Ehann, Evren at Esther ay hindi na umalis, sinamahan na lang nila ako rito sa sala habang si Daddy at Kuya Zy ay nag-uusap. At si Arth at Papadad naman ay tumungo sa kitchen.

Inaaliw ako ng tatlo. Nagtanong pa kung sumisipa na ba ang bata sa t’yan ko! Si Esther naman ay nag-promise na lalabas kami. Ipagma-mall niya raw ako!

The next day, Zhuri and Esther accompany me to the hospital for my check-up. Papadad wants to come with us, but he and Daddy have prior commitments. Also, ayaw ko rin na samahan ako nina Papadad at Daddy. Kaya ko na naman eh. Mapilit lang ang dalawang babae na ’to!

“Kuya Zen, kumakain ka ba rito?” Tanong ni Esther sa akin. Nandito na kami sa mall after my check-up in the hospital. Dumeretso kami rito for our lunch at para na rin bumili ng vitamins at ibang essential ko.

“Yes, of course! I love the food here.” sagot ko naman.

“Great!” si Esther at saka pumaso na kami sa loob ng restaurant.

“Kuya, ako na ang mag-oorder sa food mo. Umupo ka na lang. Don’t tire yourself, please!” Esther said sweetly.

“Huwag mo akong i-baby, Esther.”

“Upo ka na roon, Kuya!” Supo niya pa sa akin.

Ngiting-ngiti akong tumungo sa bakanteng upuan. Nakaupo na ako ngunit bigla akong nakaamoy ng cheese sa paligid. Tinakpan ko kaagad ang bibig nang bumaliktad ang sikmura ko sa amoy no’n.

Mabilis akong tumayo ako at tumakbo papuntang banyo!

Muntik na akong hindi makaabot sa sink ng banyo but thankfully nakaabot ako doon! Maingay ang bawat duwal ko at naluluha. At sa pagsusuka ko ay bigla namang may nagsalita sa likod ko.

“Zen?”

My feet were rooted to the floor as my eyes slowly moved up to look at the mirror. They widened as if I had just seen an alien. Shock and agitation washed over me when I saw Ezequil behind me, silently watching as I vomited uncontrollably.

---

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CHAPTER 19

Chapter 19

I swiftly wiped my mouth before turning on the faucet and washing my hands. Beneath the flowing water were my trembling hands. The bathroom was air-conditioned, so I couldn’t think of any other reason for why I was sweating so badly—of course, it was because of the man behind me.

I could feel his piercing gaze stabbing into my back. He was watching me, and I couldn’t feel myself anymore. The pounding of my heart was more intense than anything else around me. I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t move my feet. But then again—why would I run? May kasalanan ba ako? Bakit ako tatakbo? Nahuli lang niya naman akong sumusuka. Walang kaso roon. Lahat namang tao ay pwedeng masuka kaya hindi niya iisipin na ganon ako—na buntis ako.

I wiped my mouth with water and cleansed my hands again. I couldn’t bring myself to look up, knowing he was still there. The weight of his stare was unmistakable behind me, so even without looking back, I knew he hadn’t left. He was watching me like a hawk, ready to catch its prey at its most vulnerable.

Weeks had passed since our encounter in Palawan—since my stupidity with him there, of all places… dito pa talaga kami nagkita sa bathroom ng isang restaurant!

Kailan pa siya nakauwi? Kasama niya ba ang fiancée niya? And why would I care if magkasama silang umuwi? I think that’s appropriate, knowing that they’re bound to marry each other.

Winisik ko ang aking kamay at humugot ng isang mahabang hininga bago ko ito pinakawalan sa bibig at ilong.

‘You’re not this weak, Zenver,’ I whispered to myself. I may have done something unforgivably stupid and allowed my libido to take over my mind, but I’m not this weak.

“Zen,” tawag niya ulit sa akin.

Bakit ba walang pumapasok ngayon dito sa banyo? Bakit walang naiihi o natatae? Bakit hinahayaan kami ng tadhana na magsamang dalawa sa loob nitong banyo?

“Hey!” untag ko sabay ikot. I plastered a wide smile on my lips, but it eventually faded when I saw him pinning me with an intense gaze.

“Why are you vomiting?” he asked, even glancing behind me—at the sink where I had just puked all the food I ate at home.

Shit!

“Well… I’m feeling under the weather.”

“Did you already go to the hospital?”

Why does he care?

Clearly, we already talked about this in Palawan. We made a deal that when we got home, we would forget everything that happened there and go back to square one.

“My sister is a doctor,” I pointed out.

“And she allows you to go out when you’re not feeling well?”

I rolled my eyes at him and crossed my arms. “Why do you care? My body, my choice. I’ll do whatever I want! Paki mo ba kung lumabas-labas ako? D’yan ka na nga!” Asik ko sa kanya. Wow! I really said those words without stammering! Applause to myself!

Nagmartsa ako tungo sa pinto ngunit hindi pa ako nakakahawak sa doorknob nang haklitin niya ang aking braso. Inikot niya ako ng walang kahirap-hirap. Tiim bagang niya akong pinupukol ng tingin. 

I yanked my arm, but his grip was iron-strong, locking me in place.

Malalalim na ang hininga ko. My heart pounded so hard, it felt like it was about to rip through my ribcage. Dammit! Hindi na ako magpapadala sa emosyon ko! Not now!

“Bitiwan mo nga ako!”

This brute didn’t even flinch, not even a bit, despite my rage!

“Why?”

Kinunutan ko siya sa aking noo. Nagtatagis na rin ang bagang ko habang sinasalubong ko ang kanyang mga titig. Nagpalipat-lipat ang mga mata ko sa kanyang mukha at sa kanyang mata. Nagtitimpi na siya ngayon pero bakit parang malungkot ang mata niya? In the midst of his furious expression were his woeful eyes.“

“Why did you leave me? Why did you have to leave me like that?” he said through gritted teeth.

Napakurap-kurap ako. I turned my eyes away from his face.

“I texted you! Hindi pa ba sapat iyon? May emergency nga kami sa bahay, ’di ba? Alangan naman kung hintayin pa kita?”

“You’re lying.”

Galit akong tumingin muli sa kanya.

“Nice! Mas magaling ka pa pala sa akin?” Panunuya kong untag.

Winaksi ko ang kanyang kamay at sa pagkakataong iyon ay binitiwan na niya ako. Hinaplos ko ang bahagi ng aking braso na hinawakan niya. Masakit talaga siya.

“You’re lying.” Ulit na niya naman.

“Bahala ka kung ano ang gusto mong—”

“Did I do something wrong?”

My eyes furrowed at him.

Meron! Meron kang ginawa gago ka! Gago ka hinubad mo ang condom! Tanga, kung huhubarin mo lang naman pala sana hindi ka nagsuot no’n in the first place! Bobo! Grrr!

Gusto ko talagang isigaw iyan sa pagmumukha niya pero magtataka naman siya kung bakit ako nag-aalburuto tungkol doon. At kung mamalasin ay malalaman niya pang nabuntis niya ako! Eh wala nga akong balak sabihin ito sa kanya!

Ang tanga ko rin kasi hinayaan ko. Nagpapadala ako kaagad sa libog! Bwesit!

“Pwede ba tigilan mo na ang kakatanong? Klaro na sa usapan natin na kakalimutan na natin ang nangyari sa Palawan. Ngayon na nandito na tayo—nakauwi na. We’re strangers again.” Pahayag ko.

“Zenver, I know that something happened before—”

But his words vanished into thin air when my sister’s voice cut in.

“Kuya? Kuya Zen, nand’yan ka ba sa loob? Kuya, ayos ka lang ba? Anong nararamdaman mo? Can I come in? Is anyone there? I’m a woman papasok sana ako kasi ang kapatid ay bun—”

“Esther!” sigaw ko mula rito sa loob ng banyo. Mabilis kong binuksan ang pinto ng bathroom.

“K-kuya…” she spoke, but her voice eventually faded into the air as her eyes drifted past me and landed on the tall, broad-shouldered man exuding a dark, intimidating aura.

“L-let’s go, Esther. I’m really hungry because I vomit everything I e-eat earlier.”

Napatango-tango siya habang ang mga mata ay nasa likod ko.

“Oh, y-yeah. Let’s go, Kuya. Na-serve na rin naman ang foods natin.” Kinuha ni Esther ang aking braso at saka inalalayan ako palayo roon.

Halos matumba na ako nang makarating kami ni Esther sa aming mesa. Suddenly, the tears that had been welling up in my eyes burst out like pouring rain. I clutched my chest tightly, struggling to breathe, still suffocating from the encounter I had with Ezequil just moments ago.

Tumabi sa akin si Esther at saka hinaplos ang likod ko.

“Kuya, what’s wrong? Did that Suldua do something to you?”

Inilingan ko si Esther.

Hindi ko rin alam. Shit! Hindi ko alam kung bakit umiiyak ako ngayon. Mas nagiging emosyonal na ako ngayon. Ever since I got pregnant I noticed that my emotions weren’t that stable anymore. Minsan nagagalit na lang ako ng walang dahilan. Sinusumpong. Umiiyak.

“I-I’m fine, Esther.”

Inabot niya sa akin ang tissue.

Tahimik kaming kumain ni Esther. Hindi niya ako inusisa sa pagkikita namin ni Ezequil doon sa banyo o nagtanong kung nag-usap ba kami ng lalaki.

Hanggang sa makarating kami sa bahay ay tahimik lang siya. Tumawag si Papadad at Daddy sa amin kinagabihan. Hindi rin sila makakauwi ngayon sa bahay kaya naman todo ang mga paalala sa akin ni Papadad.

Pagkatapos ng tawag ay naisipan ko na ring umakyat sa silid ko. Wala pa sina Ehann at Evren kaya naman ang kasama lang namin ni Esther ngayon sa bahay ay ang mga bodyguards at ang mga kasambahay.

“Kuya, I’ll prepare your milk. Isusunod ko lang sa’yo,” ani Esther.

“Thank you, Esther.” I smiled at her.

Nakarating ako sa aking silid at saka naman ako nakaramdam ng paghilab sa aking t’yan. Malalaki ang hakbang kong tumungo sa banyo. I silently thanked the heavens as I reached the sink just in time to throw up my dinner!

“Please, baby, be good to me,” bulong ko sabay haplos sa aking flat pa na t’yan.

I stayed in the bathroom for a minute before I went out. I put on my pink silk pajamas before climbing into bed. I was about to reach for my phone on the bedside table when the door opened.

“Kuya,” it was Esther. She let herself in, holding a glass of milk in her hand. “Gatas mo.” Inabot niya sa akin ang baso ng gatas.

“Thanks again, Esther. But really, you don’t have to do this. Pwede namang ako na lang ang gumawa ng gatas para sa sarili ko.”

Umupo siya sa gilid ko. “I know naman, Kuya. Pero gusto ko kasi itong gawin. Saka huwag mong isipin, Kuya Zen, na kaya ko ito ginagawa kasi kailangan mo o hindi mo kaya. Gusto ko lang talagang mag-alaga ng buntis!”

Sinimangutan ko siya.

“Hindi madaling mabuntis, Esther.”

“That’s why we’re here for you, Kuya. You’re not alone.”

“I know. Ayaw ko lang na maging pabigat dito sa bahay.”

Esther pouted her lips. “Hindi ka naging pabigat sa bahay na ’to, Kuya.”

“But I feel useless in this household,  Esther.”

“Kuya,”

I blinked my tears. Uminom ako sa gatas nang maramdaman ko ang pagsikip ng aking lalamunan.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, Kuya.” Kinuha niya ang isa kong kamay. Kinulong niya ito gamit ang dalawang palad niya. “Kuya, hindi porket buntis ka ay useless ka na rito. You’ve never been useless in this house.”

My tears escaped from my eyes.

“I… I’ve done foolishness because of this sick mindset of mine, Esther.”

Her forehead crumpled.

“Kuya, what did you do?” she asked.

I looked at her and saw her eyes watered with unshed tears.

Umiyak lang ako sa harapan ni Esther. She didn’t ask any further questions. Instead, she scooted over to me and gave me a hug.

“I don’t know what’s happening to you, Kuya. I don’t know what’s running through your mind, but I hope you can tell us—or at least Papadad and Daddy. Kuya Zen, if you’re carrying too much in your heart, please allow us to help you. We will be your shoulder and your hand. We will help you carry your burdens. We’re family, right?”

Tumango ako kay Esther. That night, she slept beside me. I couldn’t blame her if she wanted to—I’m too emotional right now, and my mind isn’t stable at the moment. I could break down at any moment, and I can’t seem to control myself.

Days rolled by like a breeze. Papadad and Daddy are already here. After what I said to Esther, she became more attentive to me than ever. Even when she’s at work, she finds time to talk to me and ask me what I want.

Sina Ehann at Evren naman ay nadidisturbo ko rin dahil may cravings ako bigla sa gitna ng gabi at sila ang nauutusan ko. Kagaya ngayon na gusto kong kumain ng pritong hipon.

“Prito lang. ’Wag nang lagyan ng asin o kahit na anong pampalasa,” sabi ko kay Evren na siyang nagluluto. Si Ehann kasi ang naglinis no’n.

“Are you sure, Kuya? Ano na lang ang lasa nito ngayon?” Sunang tanong ni Evren, di sure kung susundin ba ang utos ko.

“Basta i-prito mo lang.”

“Just fry it, Evren,” ani naman ni Ehann. Naglilinis siya roon sa sink. Hindi na kasi sila nagpatulong ng katulong.

“I know. I know!”

Natawa ako sa kanila.

“Saka gusto ko rin na i-arrange siya sa plato. Gusto ko pantay sila.”

“K-kuya, papaano namin ito papantayin?” Tigalgal ni Evren.

“Basta gusto ko pantay sila at dapat odd number ang dami.”

Dahil doon napabilang sila ni Ehann sa pritong shrimps! Pinaalis ko lang din sila pagkatapos maluto at i-arrange ang hipon sa puting plato. Binilang ko talaga sila at tiningnan ng maayos kong pantay ba ang haba ng hipon at laki!

Kanina takam na takam ako sa shrimps pero ngayon ay gusto ko na lang silang titigan sa plato.

“Kuya?”

I turned my head and saw Esther walking toward me with a huge smile on her lips.

“Bakit ang saya mo ngayon?” tanong ako sa kanila.

“Nothing, kuya. Natatawa lang ako sa hitsura nina Evren at Ehann. They’re sweating bullets when I saw them upstairs.”

Tinabihan niya ako.

Natatawa niyang tingnan ang hipon sa harap ko.

“They made this?”

Tumango ako. Humagikhik siya. “Bakit hindi ka pa natutulog? May trabaho ka bukas.”

“Hindi ako makatulog kaya naisipan kong bumaba. At tama naman dahil nandito ka, Kuya. Sasamahan na lang kita.”

“Esther, if you’re worried because of what I said to you last time. I’m fine now. Siguro naging emosyonal lang talaga ako sa gabing iyon. Don’t worry. I won’t  harm myself, okay?” sabi ko sa kanya. Alam ko kasi na kahit hindi niya sabihin nag-aalala siya sa akin dahil sa pag-amin ko sa kanya ng gabing iyon.

“Kuya, ayaw mo bang sabihin kina Papadad ang mga worries mo at ang mga dinidibdib mo? That might help you…”

“Esther,”

“Kuya, we aren’t perfect. You said you did something foolish, but whatever it is, I’m sure Papadad, Daddy, and even I are ready to listen. Huwag mo namang sarilihin ang mga problema mo, Kuya.”

“E-Esther, I’m afraid…”

Nilalabanan ko ang aking mga luha. Tuluyan ko nang nakalimutan ang mga hipon ko.

“Tungkol ba ito sa pagkabuntis mo, Kuya?”

My teeth sank into my lips. My eyes blinked back tears.

“Esther… all of you will be very disappointed once you hear about it—especially Papadad and Daddy.”

“Zenver, saan at bakit kami madi-disappoint sa’yo?”

The blood drained from my face the moment I heard Papadad’s voice. I slowly turned my head in his direction, and the tears I had been holding back came pouring down my cheeks.

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CHAPTER 20

Chapter 20

“P-Papadad… Daddy,” it was Esther who broke the long silence that had been lingering in the kitchen. All I could do was cry while looking into my parents’ eyes. I couldn’t read any emotion or expression from them.

“Zen,” Papadad mumbled. Daddy wrapped his arm around Papadad’s waist to support him when his legs gave out.

I wanted to run and lock myself in my room, but I also knew it would be impossible right now. I wanted to move my feet, yet I couldn’t bring myself to take a step or even lift them. My knees had already turned to jelly.

My heart slammed against my chest when I saw Papadad’s eyes begin to glisten with tears of his own.

“Papadad,” Esther whispered as she walked over to him.

“Ano iyong narinig ko, Esther? Ano ang sinasabi ng kapatid mo?” Tiim bagang tanong ni Papadad kay Esther. It seemed like Papadad knew I couldn’t answer him properly because I was crying so hard. My sobs echoed through the walled kitchen.

“I-it’s nothing, Papadad. Magpahinga na po kayo.” si Esther. “Daddy, please?” Nagsusumamong saad ni Esther kay Dad.

“Answer your Papadad, Esther.”

My eyes shut tightly. Daddy’s stiff response was enough evidence of how serious he was right now.

“D-Daddy, we… Kuya and I were just talking about—”

“I… I tried w-wooing Ezequil Suldua.”

Several gasps followed after I meddled in my sister’s notions.

“Zen!” Lumapit si Esther sa akin.

I flashed a smile at her that didn’t reach my eyes.

“It’s fine, Esther. No matter how much I try to hold on to this, it will eventually slip away from my hands. And right now… it’s already out of control.”

Esther wiped her tears. “I’m so sorry, Kuya.”

“It’s really okay.”

Esther wanted to protest, however, Papadad and Daddy approached us.

Daddy’s eyebrows furrowed, and Papadad’s eyes searched mine for answers.

“A-ano iyong sinabi mo, anak?” si Papadad.

“P-Papadad, Daddy, please take a seat first. I-It’s a long story.” I swallowed the lump that started to block my throat.

Umupo sina Papadad at Daddy sa tapat namin ni Esther. Si Esther tumabi lang sa akin at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

I smiled at how her hands enclosed mine. Growing up, I used to play with Esther—I let her borrow my toys and Barbies. Si Esther din talaga ang naging parang babydoll ko noon. Tingin ko nga ako ang pinakamasaya nang malaman ko na may baby sister na kami.

“Princess, t-tama ba ako ng narinig kanina?” tanong ni Daddy sa akin. Kung ang kamay ko ay hinahawakan ni Esther si Daddy at Papadad naman ay magkahawak ang kamay.

“Y-yes, dad.”

“Zenver, m-may gusto ka sa lalaking iyon?” This time it was Papadad.

Their face says it all. They’re so confused, like they can’t figure out a puzzle right in front of them. They want to understand me, yet they find it hard to decipher everything.

“No!” Deny ko naman.

Mas lalong lumalim ang pagkakunot ni Daddy sa kanyang noo. Si Papadad naman ay parang nakikitaan ko na ng malaking question mark sa ibabaw ng ulo.

“How can I like him when, growing up, I’ve always known they were our rivals? I never saw Ezequil that way. Besides, he’s a playboy and seems like a conceited man,” I grumbled.

Ezequil’s face suddenly crossed my mind. Aaminin kong wala naman talaga akong interes kay Ezequil. Not until naisip ko ang planong iyon—ang planong gamitin siya para maging pawn ko, para maging insider ko sa loob ng kanyang pamilya. However, everything backfired to me tenfolds!

“Then, why, Zen?” Naguguluhang tanong ni Papadad.

Si Dad naman ay napahilamos lang sa kanyang palad.

“Papadad…” I burbled, but my voice shrank in my throat. My eyes welled up with tears again.

“Zenver,” inabot ni Papadad ang isa kong kamay. Pinisil niya ito. Parang pinaparating niya sa akin na ayos lang—na okay lang na ilabas ko kung anuman itong nagpapabigat sa dibdib ko.

Tumingin ako kay Esther, kay Papadad, at kay Daddy. Pareho silang naghihintay sa kung anuman ang aking sasabihin.

And now that I think about my plan involving Ezequil, I feel ashamed—ashamed of how pitiful my plan is. Ashamed because I had to use other people just to prove myself.

I bowed my head and fixed my eyes on my hand, which was resting between Esther’s hands.

“I’m so sorry, Papadad. I’m so sorry, Daddy.” The moment I raised my head to look at them was the moment my Papadad’s tears streamed down his cheeks like there was no tomorrow.

“Zenver,” tanging pangalan ko lang ang nauusal ni Papadad.

“Walang pwedeng sisihin sa katangan kong ito, Papadad, Dad.” Umiling naman sila. Kumuyom ang panga ni Daddy. “I tried to use Ezequil. I tried to woo him so I could have an insider in their family—someone who could tell me their next move or their plans.”

“But you didn’t have to do that, Princess,” Daddy said through gritted teeth.

I nodded slowly.

“I know I didn’t need to… yeah, I didn’t need to, Daddy. But I felt like I had to!” Daddy’s eyebrows drew together in deep confusion.

“Growing up, Dad, you did nothing but provide me with everything. All of you showered me with love, care, and protection. I was like a lamb—sheltered and watched over. And because of that, I started to feel… useless. Out of all of us, I felt like I was the most useless one. Ni wala akong naitulong sa pamilyang ito. I didn’t bring any pride in this family. Lahat ng natatanggap ko ay proteksyon ninyo kasi mahina ako!”

“My princess, no!” Daddy argued. Papadad only cried beside him, unable to speak a word through his tears.

The tension was so heavy. Pakiramdam ko hinihila na ako nito pababa.

“No, Dad. That’s how I feel. That’s exactly why I came up with that foolish plan—to get close to Ezequil. I thought that through him, I could squeeze out some information that might help me—help us!” I ranted. “I was desperate for validation. I was so eager to prove myself to this family! I wanted recognition too!” I wailed.

Papadad and Daddy’s faces blurred in my vision because of my unending tears. My heart ached so much. I had to pause for a moment to catch my breath—I was running out of air.

“Pero hindi mo na kailangan gawin iyan, Zenver.” This time, it was Papadad. It seemed like he had finally found his voice to speak. “You’ve proven enough to this family.”

“No, Papadad. Because whenever I think about my situation, I feel like I’m the worst! Kuya Zy is doing great—he’s powerful in his career and respected in the organization. Zhuri is doing really well in hers, too. And the triplets… they’re so good at handling their business. But me? I’m just a decoration—a member of this family who always needs the most protection because I’m weak. I’m an easy target for our enemies, especially since I’m the most fragile.”

The whole kitchen was filled with the sound of my sobs, along with Papadad’s and Esther’s. Dad was the only one who remained strong among us.

“Tingin mo sa sarili mo ay mahina ka, Zen. Tingin mo kailangan mong patunayan ang sarili mo sa akin kaya gusto mong gamitin si Ezequil Suldua. Para may ambag ka. Iyon ang sinasabi mo, di ba?” Umiiyak na saad ni Papadad. Hinahaplos naman ni Daddy ang likod niya.

Pumikit lang ako at umagos muli ang mga bagong luha pababa sa aking pisngi. 

“Zen… what you did just now was an act of courage.” Tumingin ako kay Papadad. Si Esther naman ay tinutulungan akong punasan ang basa kong pisngi. “Owning your mistake. Admitting you faults and standing on your ground was already an evident of how strong you are, Zen. Hindi lahat ng tao kayang akuin ang pagkakamali nila. Hindi lahat ng tao kayang manindigan sa kanilang pagkakamali.”

Iyak na lang ang naging sagot ko sa mga sinasabi ni Papadad.

“Zenver anak kita. Hindi ko ito sinasabi sa’yo just to console your wounded ego. I’m saying this because I saw you grow up. You’re strong—because back then, when Zhuri couldn’t stand up for herself, you did. Ikaw ang nagtatanggol sa kanya. When your Kuya Zyrho wasn’t around, ikaw ang nagiging Kuya sa mga kapatid mo.” Saysay ni Papadad na siyang naging dahilan ng pagbuhos ng aking mga luha. “Hindi mo na kailangang patunayan sa amin kung gaano ka katapang o katatag, Zen. Kasi noon pa man nakikita na namin iyon. Nakita na namin iyon ng Daddy mo.”

Daddy nodded in agreement with Papadad’s statement.

“S-Sorry, Papadad!” I cried, pouring my heart out

Ito ba talaga ang pamilya—ang mga taong kinatakutan kong na-disappoint ko? Ito ba talaga ang mga taong pinagdudahan kong magagalit sa akin?

“Zen, we are not sheltering you because you are weak. We’re not protecting you because you’re weak or fragile, as you said. We’re doing this because we’re afraid of what you can do,” Daddy said before shutting his eyes. When he opened them, his amethyst orbs had darkened. “A-ayaw lang namin maulit ang nangyari noon, princess.”

Kumunot ang noo ko.

“W-what are you talking about, dad?”

Nagkatingin si Papadad at si Daddy. Pinunasan muna ni Daddy ang basang pisngi ni Papadad. Sa kanilang pagtitigan ay parang nag-uusap ang kanilang mga mata. Mayamaya ay tumango si Papadad kay Daddy. 

Seryosong bumaling sa akin si Daddy.

“Zenver… the whole idea of protecting you wasn’t because you couldn’t defend yourself from your predator or our enemies. We’re like this because… when you were still a kid—just in elementary school… you…” Daddy took a deep breath. “You almost killed your schoolmate.”

My eyes flickered.

“W-what?”

“Zen, lumaki kang bibo, pala-ngiti, friendly, at matapang. When everything was alright for us. Pinasok namin kayo nina Zhuri at Zyrho sa elementary school. Gusto rin kasi naming ma-experience ninyo ang ganon at ’di lang homeschool. Gusto namin na makipaghalubilo rin kayo sa ibang mga bata tulad no’ng nasa Sagada pa tayo. Pero one time… may mga batang umaway sa inyo. Base sa sinabi ni Zyrho, naunang sumagod sa inyo ang lalaking bata na inagaw ang pinaglalaruan ninyo ni Zhuri na bola. At saka inaway rin kayo kasi puro daw lalaki ang parents ninyo… at may sinabing masama tungkol sa akin.” Saysay ni Papadad.

Habang nakikinig ako kay Papadad ay parang may bumalik na alaala sa aking utak. Alaala na matagal nang nakabaon.

“Hindi ka napigilan ni Zyrho, Zen. Sinugod mo ang lalaking umaway sa inyo. A-And you stabbed him with your pencil. That kid… he lost one of his eyes because of what you did.”

Inagaw ko ang aking kamay mula kay Esther. Tiningnan ko ang aking kamay at parang may nag-blur ang aking paningin. Nang luminaw ang mata ko ay mistulang nakita ko ang aking kamay na napuno ng dugo at may hawak akong isang lapis.

Bumalik sa isip ko ang batang sumisigaw ng iyak at pilit akong nilalabanan pero pinagsasaksak ko siya ng lapis. Walang buhay ang mata ko habang ginagawa ko iyon sa lalaking bata!

I almost threw up because of that memory! I… I really did that to the kid? Shit! My hands were covered in blood—some of it even splashed on my face!

“Z-Zen…”

“I… I was a murderer, Papadad?”

Mabilis na umiling si Papadad. Tumayo siya at lumapit sa akin. Niyakap ako ni Papadad at nanginginig akong yumakap sa kanya.

“N-no! Hindi ka murderer, Zen. Hindi. Sshhh!”

Sunod na tumayo si Daddy at yumakap din sa akin.

“Don’t ever think that we’re protecting you because you’re weak, princess. Hmm?” Daddy whispers to me.

“S-so, b-bakit ko nakalimutan iyon, Papadad, Daddy?”

Kumalas sila sa pagkakayakap sa akin.

“You went through a series of therapy sessions, Zen. That’s why you’re fine now.”

“And the boy?” Tukoy ko sa lalaking nasaksak ko.

“His family already moved away, Zen. The boy is fine now, and he’s with his own family too.”

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag doon.

Tulala ako matapos ang pag-uusap naming iyon. Nailabas ko na ang labis na nagpapabigat sa aking dibdib. Ngunit may pumalit namin. How can a child do that? Papaano ko iyon nagawa? I was only an elementary grader.

After pondering everything, I realized that the reason my family won’t allow me into the underground society is because they’re afraid my memories from back then will resurface. No one talks about it anymore because it was buried a long time ago.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I felt so much shame after talking to my parents. They have appreciated me from the very beginning. They saw my strength from the very start. Yet I was the only one who couldn’t see it. I was clouded by my own thoughts. I was driven by so many insecurities about my siblings that I lost my sense of self-worth.

“Kuya, halika ka na!” Ang boses ni Esther sa labas ang nagbalik sa akin sa reyalidad.

“Y-yeah! Coming!”

May schedule ako ngayon for my checkup kaya pupunta kaming ospital. Lumiban sa trabaho niya si Esther para sumama sa akin.

“Bakit ang tagal mo sa banyo, Kuya? You don’t need makeup or anything like that—you’re already pretty! A very pretty pregnant!”

Natawa ako sa kanya. Magaling din talagang mambola ang kapatid kong ito! Hindi nga ako naglalagay ng makeup. Matindi ang tiwala ko sa genes ng parents ko.

Esther hooked her arm around mine before we headed down. Dinadaan kami nina Papadad at Daddy sa ospital. Bibisita sila sa GEs kaya dinaan na nila kami. Mamaya naman ay si Evren o si Ehann ang kukuha sa amin ni Esther sa ospital. 

“So far, you’re doing well, Zen. Did you follow the recommendations I gave you during your first visit—the vitamins and the dietary advice?”

I nodded at my OB-GYN. Kahit nga wala akong gana minsan pilit akong kumakain. Nagpapasalamat na lang ako na hindi ko sinusuka ang mga kinain ko.

“That’s good to hear,” said my OB-GYN.

“Is there any medication for morning sickness and these strange cravings?”

She chuckled at my question.

“If only there were, Zen. A lot of my patients ask me the same thing. But don’t worry—it will eventually go away.” Aniya.

Si Esther lang talaga ang ngiting-ngiti sa ganito. Mas excited siya sa lahat kumpara sa akin. Napaka-attentive niya sa pagbubuntis ko.

“Bibili na ba tayo ng damit para sa baby mo, Kuya Zen?

I rolled my eyes at her. “Ang aga pa para d’yan, Esther. Saka na iyan kapag alam ba natin ang gender ni baby.”

“Oh, you’re right, Kuya. Wait, Kuya, CR lang ako saglit. Okay?”

“Hintayin na kita sa labas. Tatawagan ko rin si Evren o kung sino ang available sa kanila ni Ehann.” sabi ko.

She smiled before nodding. 

Nasa labas na ako ng ospital. Tumigil ako saglit upang matawagan ko si Evren nang may biglang humawak sa braso ko. Muntik ko pang mabitiwan ang telepono ko!

Galit kong binalingan ang taong humawak sa akin kaso naestatwa ako nang makita ko kung sino ito.

“Zen,”

“Ezequil,”

Sabay pa naming untag.

“We need to talk.”

I yanked my arm away from him, but he tightened his grip around it.

“Ezequil!”

“Come with me.”

And before I could protest, he had already dragged me toward the parking lot.

---

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CHAPTER 21

Chapter 21

“Ano ba!? Bakit mo ba ako dinala rito? Anong kailangan mo sa akin?!” Ang malakas kong sigaw sa pagmumukha ni Ezequil nang ipasok niya ako sa sasakyan niya. Apprently dito niya ako pinasok sa backseat ng kanyang sasakyan at mabilis siyang sumunod sa akin. Mabuti rin kasi nasigawan ko kaagad siya.

“This is kidnapping! Malalaman ito ng kapatid ko at alam kong hahanapin niya ako!” Talak ko. “Huwag ka ng magtaka kong may kakalampag na ngayon dito sa kotse mo dahil kapatid ko na iyon!” Dagdag ko pa pero nanatili siyang nakatingin sa akin.

I was like a volcano ready to erupt at any moment, yet Ezequil only stared at me as if I were nothing more than a beautiful scenery. And even if I did erupt, he would still be fascinated-like it was a beautiful disaster.

My fury meant nothing to him. I wanted to pounce on him and punch that calm, undisturbed face. However, I stayed rooted to my spot, seething with anger.

“Stop the act, my queen.”

Natigalgal ako sa kanyang sinabi. Maarte kong tinakpan ang aking bibig. Napahigit ako ng hangin sa ere.

“You… what did you say?”

“Stop acting and stop shouting. I won’t harm you. I just want to talk to you.”

Inirapan ko siya. Pabagsak kong sinandal ang aking katawan sa headrest ng backseat. Kahit anong pagpupuyos ko sa aking damdamin wala lang sa kanya. Kahit nga siguro bugahan ko siya ng apoy ngayon tatanggapin niya!

The hell! What’s wrong with him? Igigiit na naman ba niya ang tanong kung bakit ko siya iniwan sa Palawan ng walang paalam? Big deal ba sa isang katulad niya na may fiancée iyon?

“Kung magtatanong ka na naman kung bakit ako umalis ng Palawan ng walang paalam sa’yo. Ngayon palang sinasabi ko sa’yo, Ezequil, na tumigil ka na. My answer to you last time won’t change. Mas mabuti pang palabasin mo na ako bago pa man tumawag si Esther sa family namin!” Talak ko ulit pero nakatingin lang siya sa akin na para bang isa akong yelo sa harapan niya na natutunaw at gusto niyang makita ang bawat patak ng tubig mula sa akin.

Nanatili siyang tahimik kaya naniningkit ang mata kong bumaling sa kanya. But I was taken aback when I saw those familiar orbs looking at me solemnly. Ezequil was pinning me with a stare, as though he had been longing for this moment. Parang pinararating ng kanyang mga titig sa akin ang kanyang pangugulila.

Pangungulila?

Saan naman?

Sa akin?

Tsk!

I puffed out some air through my nose and tilted my head back. Dumeretso ang titig ko sa kulay abong ceiling ng sasakyan niya.

Hindi nakakabuti sa akin na ganito ako kalapit kay Ezequil. Delikado ang puso ko. Delikadong-delikado kasi may fiancée na siya. Right now, dapat nagm-move on na ako. Oo, buntis ako pero kakayanin ko namang wala siya. Hindi ko naman siguro ikakamatay ito?

Umayos ako sa aking pagkakaupo. Inabot ko ang pinto ng sasakyan dahil lalabas na ako nang hawakan niya ang palapulsuhan ko.

“I miss you.”

My heart leaps.

Shit! No! Hindi pwede ito. Hindi pwede ang ganito!

Binaba ko ang aking tingin sa bandang dibdib ko.

Nagwawala ngayon ang puso ko. Tang ina naman! Isang ‘I miss you’ lang ba ang magpaparupok sa akin? Ganito ba ako kahina sa kanya? Fuck!

I tried to pull my arm from his grip, but it was as if his hand was rooted to it.

No matter how much I told myself that this guy fooled me and played with my feelings, my heart still beats for him. He made me his plaything while he has a fiancée! I’m the other woman-and I don’t deserve this! I’m a Maranzano!

“Let go! Let go of me, Ezequil!”

Once again, I tried to pull my arm back, but he pulled me in instead! Hindi ko iyon inaasahan. Kaya naman sa lakas ng pagkakahatak niya sa akin ay napabalik ako sa aking kinauupuan. Marahas akong bumaling kay Ezequil pero na-trap ang aking hininga sa aking lalamunan nang paglingon ko ay mukha niya ang bumungad sa akin!

My mind was telling me to pull away, but another part of it was holding me back. I stood like a statue in front of Ezequil-unable to move, unable to speak. For some reason, the mere distance between our faces pained me.

I didn’t even have a chance to turn my head away before Ezequil claimed my lips. It was a light kiss, but it brought back so many memories from Palawan-memories that clung to my mind like a damn disease.

“I missed you so much, baby,” Ezequil said between kisses.

He pulled away and gently cupped my face. Namumungay ang mga mata niya. Dahil sa lapit naming dalawa. Kitang-kita ko ang pamumula ng kanyang mga mata. Ang lungkot, sakit, at pangungulila. They were so clear in his tear-filled eyes.

“Did you say that to your fiancée too?”

Natigilan siya.

“Zen,” sambit niya. Rumihestro ang gulat sa kanyang mukha.

I mustered a good smile for him. I hope it didn’t come out awkward.

Tinanggal ko ang kamay niya na nasa mukha ko. Binaba ko ito at tiningnan ang kamay niya. Ngayon ko lang napansin ang maliliit na sugat doon at pamumula. Ito ba ang dahilan kung bakit nandito siya sa ospital? Pinagamot niya ba ito?

Oh, damn! Concern na naman ako! Concern na naman ang walang karapatan! The hell!

“Gulat ka? Gulat ka na alam ko? It’s not a secret anymore. Marami na namang may alam d’yan. Mukhang ako nga lang ang nauto mo eh!” Pumait ang boses ko roon.

Bitter na bitter ba, Zen?

Deserve mo ’yan! Akala mo kasi kaya mo ang lahat. Akala mo kasi kaya mo ang karma. Akala mo kasi hindi magba-backfire sa’yo ang mga walang kwenta mong desisyon!

“No! My queen, I wasn’t fooling you! Hindi ko iyan magagawa sa’yo-”

“Hindi nga ba?” Putol ko sa kanya. Kahit na anong gawin ko para lang hindi ako magtunog nagseselos. Bakas na bakas pa rin iyon sa tono ko. Tanga naman itong si Ezequil kaya hindi niya naman siguro iyon mapapansin?

“Of course! When I decided to mess with you in Palawan, I don’t have an intention to fool you or-”

“Pero nando’n din si Britta, di ba? Magkasama kayo sa conference doon. Don’t tell me hindi mo rin alam na nando’n siya at hindi mo siya fiancée sa mga panahong iyon?” Paalala ko sa kanya. Baka kasi nakalimutan na iyon. Tapos sinama niya pa ako no’ng tinakbuhan niya iyong Britta!

Ezequil sighed.

See? I’m spitting facts here.

“Pupunta akong Palawan mag-isa.”

“Sinungaling!” I roared.

Pumikit siya.

“Again, I came to Palawan alone. Yes, I knew Britta. Bigla na lang siyang dumating sa bahay namin. Sinabi ni Papa na babantay ko siya pero ayoko ko. Bakit ko naman babantayan eh matanda na iyon. She’s old enough to look after herself. If she needs protection, she can’t get it from me.”

“Tsk!”

“It’s true, Zen. Yes, nando’n din siya sa Palawan pero hindi ko alam na sumunod siya sa akin. I didn’t even know how she found out that I was there.” He explained. “Si Papa lang ang nag-announce ng ng engagement namin ni Britta. I didn’t know about it…”

“Sana sinabi mo sa akin para naman malayuan kita! I was like your whore, knowing that you already have a fiancée and are bound to get married!”

Kumuyom ang panga niya.

“But I like it! What we have in Palawan! Hindi na iyon simpleng agreement o set-up natin para sa akin! Gusto ko na iyon, Zen. Gustong-gusto ko kasi matagal ko na iyong pinapangarap! Gusto kita-” umiling siya. “No, I love you!” Ezequil suddenly announced.

Para akong nasuntok dahil sa biglaang pag-amin niya sa akin. My body moved back on its own, trying to put some distance between us. My mind couldn’t process everything he had just said. What the hell?

I don’t know what came over me, but I slapped Ezequil across the face. The sting in my palm after hitting him was enough proof that I wasn’t dreaming or hallucinating.

Nalaglag ang panga ni Ezequil pagkatapos ng sampal ko sa kanya. Tiningnan niya na ako na para bang hindi niya ma-point out kung bakit ko siya sinampal.

Ewan ko rin ba kung bakit ko siya sinampal!

“A-ano bang pinagsasabi mo d’yan!” Utal kong untag. “Are you out o-of your mind?!”

Hinaplos niya ang pisnging namumula dahil sa sampal ko pero kalaunan ay ngumiti ito. Baliw!

“I must be, my queen. Because how else could I still smile after that crispy slap?” he said, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

“Y-you… it’s your fault for blurting out those words.”

I panicked when he scooted closer to me, closing the little distance that gave us just enough space to breathe.

“Huwag kang lalapit!” Sigaw ko. “Sige ka. Lalabas ako!”

“Kung makakalabas ka.” Hamon niya naman sa akin.

Kinapa ng kamay ko ang pinto ng kotse at sinubukan itong buksan pero naka-lock siya!

Fuck! This brute! Alam niya talaga kung papaano ako galitin!

Susugurin ko na sana siya ng suntok sa mukha nang sanggain niya ang kamay ko. At saka niya ako niyakap!

“Baby, please. Accept me again.” His voice suddenly turned mournful. I struggled in his arms, but he locked them tightly around me. “I’ve never begged for love from my father. I’ve never begged for anything-not even for myself. I’ve never asked him to show me mercy. But with you, Zen… I will beg. I will beg for you. Handa kong lumuhod at gumapang patungo sa’yo… tanggapin mo lang ako sa buhay mo.”

Kung maka-accept me again naman siya ay parang naging kami!

“Inuuto mo na naman ba ako?”

“Fuck, no!” he grunts against my neck.

“Bakit hindi mo na lang mahalin ang fiancée mo? Doon… wala kang magiging problema kasi gusto siya ng ama mo.”

“She’s not you, my queen. Hindi siya tulad mo na gusto ang pink. Hindi siya tulad mo na may pagka-maarte, mataray, maingay, at sobrang ganda! In short, she’s not Zenith Verniz Maranzano.”

Tinulak ko siya. Ano iyong sinabi niya? Compliment ba iyon? Bwesit siya!

Tiningnan ko siya sa kanyang mga mata. Namumula pa rin ito.

“Bago mo ’yan sabihin… dapat walang Britta sa buhay mo, Ezequil.”

“Wala naman talagang Britta, Zen. There’s no formality between Britta and I. Si Papa at ang pamilya lang ni Britta ang nag-uusap. And even right now, hindi ako umuuwi sa bahay. Nando’n kasi si Britta. Ayaw kong bigyan ka rason para lang mas magalit o lumayo sa akin.”

Nasamid ako sa aking laway.

“A-ano? Ang advance mo naman mag-isip!”

I tried to mask my flushed face with anger. This brute! Arghh!

“Zen, I’m madly in love with you. Please, allow me to visit you and be with you. Ayaw ko nang maghintay kung kailan ka lalabas para lang makita ka.”

Mas lalo akong nahintakutan sa kanyang sinabi.

“Nahihibang ka na ba? Pinag-iisipan mo bang mabuti ang mga sinasabi mo? Visiting me means you have to face my family! The Maranzanos!”

Malaki ang kanyang naging ngiti.

“Don’t worry, my queen. Besides, I’m now close with your sister, Esther.”

My jaw dropped.

“W-what? Y-you’ve been communicating with Esther!?”

“Just recently.”

“A-anong pinag-uusapan ninyo?” Kumabog ng malakas ang puso ko. Hindi naman siguro ako ilalaglag ng kapatid ko?

“Nothing. Just about you. I asked her about you and she feed my hunger for you.”

I swallowed.

“Wala… ng iba?”

“May dapat ba akong malaman?” tanong niya sabay lapit ng mukha niya sa akin!

Walang alinlangan kong kinalmot ang gwapo niyang mukha! Napasigaw siya sa ginawa ko. Pero tumawa lang ako! Sumabog ang aking tawa sa buong sasakyan ni Ezequil. Natutuwa ako sa hitsura niya habang iniinda ang sakit at hapdi ng kalmot ko sa kanya. Yumugyog ng husto ang aking balikat sa tawa!

Shocks! Kailan ba ako huling nakatawa ng ganito? After the confrontation with Papadad and Daddy, and everything I learned about my past, I didn’t think I’d be able to laugh or feel this happy again.

Ngayon lang ako tumawa ng ganito. And as I ponder the things that have been happening to me over the past few months, I came to the conclusion that I can be my true self when I’m with this man. It’s not that I can’t be honest with my family-it’s just that Ezequil is different.

Ezequil is different because he’s not family or a relative. He’s my enemy-and how ironic it is that he understands me. He knows me. He can handle my tantrums. He knows when I’m sulking. He can soothe my gloomy moods.

“Baby,”

Napagitla ako nang maramdaman ko ang hininga ni Ezequil sa aking pisngi!

“What?”

“May dapat pa ba akong malaman?” Lumambot bigla ang boses niya.

Sasabihin ko ba ito sa kanya? Last time sinabi niyang ayaw niya pa ng bata. Pero may paki pa ba ako kung tatanggapin niya ang bata o hindi? Kung matatanggap niya magpapaka-ama siya (kung gusto niya). Kung hindi naman bubugbugin ko siya at hindi na talaga ako magpapakita sa kanya.

“Alam ko na may fiancée ka na-”

“Ayaw ko nga roon. Ikaw ang gusto ko. I will settle everything with Britta my own. Then, haharapin ko ang mga Maranzano.”

Umingos ako sa sinabi niya. Sana ganito siya katapang sa harap ng kanyang ama.

Kinuha ko ang kamay niya at sumandal ako sa headrest ng backseat. Sunod kong dinala ang kanyang palad sa t’yan ko.

Kumunot lang ang noo ng hinayupak.

“W-what are you doing, my queen? We are in the parking lot at ang aga pa. Kitang-kita kapag umalog ang sasakyan-”

Pinutol siya sa pamamagitan ng pagsapak sa kanyang batok!

“Tanga! Buntis ako!” sigaw ko sa pagmumukha niya. Tumalsik pa ang laway ko sa mukha niya!

“W-what…” unti-unting humina ang boses niya hanggang sa mistulang lumambot ang katawan niya at nahulog sa sahig ng sasakyan.

Shit! Brixx Ezequil Suldua fainted!

---

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CHAPTER 22

Chapter 22

“So you’ve been communicating with Ezequil? Since when, lil sis?” I fired the question at my sister.

Esther’s face said it all! May guilt sa mukha niya pero walang pagsisi roon. Kailan ba ito nangyari? Dahil sa pagbubuntis ko ay wala na akong panahon para sa ibang bagay. Tapos mangyayari ito? Nag-uusap pala si Esther at Ezequil? At mukhang close na?

“I-in… the company. Lagi na kasi siyang bumisibita roon. Pakiramdam ko nga kaya siya nag-invest sa GEs ay para sa’yo. So that he can have a reason to go there anytime he wants. Akala niya siguro nasa GEs ka,” saysay naman ng kapatid ko.

“May iba pa bang nakakaalam na nagkakausap kayo?”

She gave a small shake of her head.

“Walang alam sina Ehann at Evren?”

“Wala. Ang susungit kasi nila kay Ezequil. Naawa lang ako sa kanya kaya one time kinausap ko. Tapos ayon…”

“Nagtuloy-tuloy na?”

All my sister could do was pout her lips and nod her head in agreement with my statement.

When Ezequil passed out, I called her for help. Nawalan kasi ng malay si Ezequil, siguro dahil sa sobrang flabbergasted niya sa sinabi ko. Well, sino ba naman ang hindi magugulat kapag may biglang nagsabi sa’yo na buntis siya.

When Ezequil regained consciousness, he drove us home. Hindi naman ako nakatawag kay Evren o kay Ehann kaya ayos lang. Habang nasa byahe kami kanina ay panay ang tanong ni Ezequil kay Esther tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko. At dahil alam ni Esther ang mga detalye tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko siya na ang sumagot kay Ezequil. Inaantok na kasi ako sa tabi ni Ezequil kanina.

Ezequil asked if we can meet sometimes pero sinabi kong pag-iisipan ko muna. Anong gusto niya? Maging secret paramore ako? Ayoko no’n!

“Bakit kinakausap mo siya, Esther? Hindi ba kayo galit sa kanya?” tanong ko kay Esther na nakadapa sa kama ko.

Yumakap siya sa isang unan. “Of course, I was mad at him. But when I talked to him, it felt like he likes you, Zen - like he’s truly being sincere with you. Kasi unang pag-uusap namin… ikaw kaagad ang tinanong niya. He was asking how you are, where you are, if you’ve been eating, and things like that,” Esther stated, looking into my eyes. “And I know you like him too, Kuya.”

Nakasandal ako sa headboard ng kama ko kaya naman parang nakatingala siya sa akin ngayon.

“Esther… you know that he has a fiancée.”

Gusto ko si Ezequil. Pero ano ang magagawa no’n? He has a fiancée. I don’t want to look like I snatched him from Britta.

“I know, kuya. But when someone is into another person, you can tell. You’ll know when someone likes someone. Because when they talk about that person, their eyes shine and their mood changes.”

Honestly, in situations like this, I want to talk to Arth. But I can’t always trust his mouth. Baka kasi may masabi na naman siya kay Kuya Zy o sa family ko!

That night, for some reason, I fell asleep without the heaviness in my chest. Pakiramdam ko may nawalang mabigat na dumadagan sa dibdib ko. I fell asleep with my heart at ease, and my mind was undisturbed by any kind of thoughts.

Maybe it was because I finally talked to him? Maybe because I no longer kept any secrets from anyone? (Well, aside from meeting Ezequil earlier-I didn’t hide anything else from my family.)

For the past weeks, all I felt was fear, uneasiness, worry, and discomfort. Fear of how my parents would react if they found out what I did. Uneasiness, because I felt like such a huge disappointment. Worry, because I knew they might blame me. And discomfort, because I was hiding so much from them. And I felt sick because of all those things. They kept dragging my mind down to the edge.

But the things that were pulling me down were finally out of my heart. My heart was now at peace. My mind was now in serenity. For a long time, I felt like I was chained by my insecurities and fears. The worry and discomfort were choking me to the point where I almost forgot how to breathe. And finally, I was free from those things and could see the beauty of my life. I finally saw the light in the midst of the darkness that had been drowning me.

“How are you?” Zhuri asked when we finally had time to eat our breakfast together. “May morning sickness ka pa at cravings, right?”

Sinubo ko ng kanin at tumango sa kanya.

“Hmm! I hope these things will be over soon!”

“If only I could help you with your cravings and morning sickness, Zen.”

Nginitian ko siya. “Just pray for me, Zhu, na sana mawala na ’to!”

“I always do that, Zen.”

Nag-usap kami ni Zhuri tungkol sa mga cravings ko at mga nararamdaman ko hanggang sa napunta na sa ospital ang aming pinag-uusapan. Hindi ko na alam ang iba niyang sinasabi kaya tango na lang ako nang tango!

“Anyway, I’ve got to go. Take care, okay? Call me if you need someone or anything.” Zhuri kissed my forehead before walking out.

’Yan ang hirap kay Zhu, sobrang hirap niyang hagilapin dito sa bahay. Si Kuya Zy naman ay abala rin kasi Arth.

Pagkatapos kong inumin ang mga vitamins ko ay humiga sa lounger sa labas ng bahay namin, sa poolside ng aming outdoor swimming pool. Kakatapos ko lang din kasing mag-ikot-ikot dito sa pool. Ayaw ko na kasing lumayo pa sa bahay. Kasi kung lalayo ako, tatawag na naman ako ng cart to pick me up pabalik dito sa bahay.

Iidlip lang sana ako nang magring ang aking cellphone. Without checking who it was, I answered the call right away.

“Baby.”

I almost threw my cellphone into the pool when I heard that familiar deep, throaty voice on the other end.

Nagmulat ako sa aking mata at napaahon mula sa aking pagkakahiga. Tiningnan ko kung sino ang tumawag ngunit hindi ito register sa phone ko. Binalik ko sa aking tenga ang cellphone.

“Sino ’to?” tanong ko kahit alam ko naman kung sino.

“It’s none other than me, baby-the one who made you the prettiest pregnant alive!”

My face twisted.

“Fuck you, Ezequil! B-in-lock na kita ah! Pinagmamalaki mo pang binuntis mo ako eh, nawalan ka nga ng malay!”

Ezequil groaned. I smiled. For some reason, I felt a feathery lightness in my chest whenever I pissed him off.

“I changed my phone number,” he answered.

Napairap ako. Mga paraan talaga nito.

“Bakit ka tumatawag?” Maldita kong untag. Kunwari ay nabo-bore ako kausap siya. But deep within me, I hope we talked for another minutes. Syempre ayaw ko naman iyong aminin sa kanya kasi lalaki ang ulo nito eh.

“Can we talk?”

I grimaced at his reply.

“We’re already talking, Ezequil.”

“I mean in person. I want to see you, my queen. Please? I miss you-and our baby.” Inipit pa nito ang boses na parang nanlalambing!

Kinilabutan ako.

“Crazy! Anong namimiss mo ang anak natin? Ni hindi pa buo ang buto nito.” Pambabara ko sa kanya pero namumula na ang pisngi ko.

“Sige na, please? Nandito ako sa harap ng bahay ninyo.”

Napatayo ako roon!

“Ano?” pasigaw kong sambit.

“Baby, don’t shout.”

“Anong ginagawa mo d’yan sa labas? What if makita ka ng mga guards?”

Bwesit siya! Ang dami pa namang mga guard na nagro-roving sa paligid ng bahay.

“I just miss you, Zen. And I feel like… there’s still so much we haven’t talked about. About our baby-and something important I need to tell you. It’s about Britta.”

I didn’t respond. Instead, I ended the call without a word.

Frustration bubbled inside me as I walked back into the house, heading straight to my room. I changed into a baby pink hoodie and soft white cotton pants. Of course, my Crocs matched in pink too.

My gaze drifted to my vanity, where my perfumes stood proudly like delicate ornaments on display. Each bottle had its own scent-gathered from different brands. Sometimes kasi nag-iiba ako ng taste sa mga perfumes. Sometimes gusto ko ng something sweet, minsan naman ay iyong sakto lang.

I picked one of my perfumes from Dior. I opened it before bringing it close to my nose, but I immediately regretted it when the smell almost made me puke. In the end, I chose not to wear any perfume.

Baka kasi masuka pa ako eh.

Bumaba ako at may nakasalubong akong maid.

“Sir, saan po kayo pupunta?”

Natigilan ako.

“A-ah, magkikita lang kami saglit ni Milan. Saglit lang ako.”

“Sige po. At itatanong ko lang, sir, kung may gusto po kayong ipaluto para sa lunch ninyo?”

I shooked my head.

“No, need na. Sa labas na ako kakain.”

Bumuga ako ng isang malalim na hininga nang makalabas sa bahay. Kinuha ko ang aking cellphone sa bulsa ang aking hoodie. Kailangang ma-inform ni Milan ginamit ko siya bilang alibi para makipagkita kay Ezequil!

To Milan: bruja, just wanna inform you na lumabas ako at ginamit kita.

I immediately received a reply from her.

Milan: saan ka? baka kung saan ka na naman mapadpad! tell me.

I tapped my fingers on my chin as I think of how to reply to her message.

To Milan: papahangin lang. if any of my family ask you kung nasaan ako. just tell them we’re together, okay? loveyou, bruja!

Milan: whatever, anyways, let’s meet soon. i miss you, bruja.

To Milan: yeah, let’s do that. i miss you too, bruja.

I placed my phone back in my bag before waltzing to the gate. Kaagad naman akong pinagbuksan ng guard. Nang makalabas ako ay luminga ako upang hanapin ang itim na sasakyan ni Ezequil. Namataan ko rin naman ito kaagad kaya lumapit ako roon.

Mabilis na bumukas ang pinto ng shotgun seat. I tilted my head toward Ezequil and was greeted by his face, a bright smile playfully dancing on his lips.

Inirapan ko siya bago ako umakyat sa sasakyan niya.

“Ano ang sasabihin mo at talagang pinapunta mo ako-”

“Let’s go somewhere else,” he said, meddling me.

“What?” I exclaimed, raising an eyebrow.

“Do you have a place in mind you want to go to? What do you want to eat? It’s almost lunchtime,” he continued, as if he hadn’t heard my weak protest.

I rolled my eyes before letting my body fall backward mindlessly.

“Ikaw,” I scoffed.

“W-what?” Nautal niyang sabi.

Pagod ko siyang tiningnan.

“What I mean is, ikaw kung saan mo gusto. But let me warn you-I don’t like the smell of cheese, and I don’t like anything too sweet,” I stated.

Ewan ko ba kasi sa taste buds ko ngayon.

“Noted, my queen,” came his playful response, followed by a wag of his eyebrows at me.

Ezequil started the engine and slowly left the place. Hinayaan ko siya kung saan man kami kakain o mag-uusap. Ngunit napaahon naman ako sa aking kinauupuan nang makita kong papasok na kami sa isang subdivision.

Luminga ako. Binaba ko ang salamin ng bintana at pansin ko ang pagkatahimik ng lugar! Pare-parehong malalaki ang bahay na aming nadaraanan.

Ilang sandali lang ay tumigil na kami sa isang malaking bahay na kulay itim at puti ang painting sa labas. It’s a bungalow type of house pero sobrang lawak niya.

Kusang bumukas ang iron gate at pumasok ang sasakyan. May censor yata.

“Where. The. Hell. Are. We?” I hissed.

“We’re in my house, baby.”

“Your… what?” I screeched, my eyes bulging out in shock.

“In my house. But don’t worry, Zen-this isn’t my father’s property. Sarili kong pera ito. And I’m living here alone.”

I’m still in awe as Ezequil guided me inside his house. Mangha man ako sa laki ng bahay kaso dismayado ako sa kulay nito; sa labas white and black ang kulay. Dito naman sa loob ay concrete at black! Muntik na akong masuka!

Wala man lang pink? Pero paki ko ba? Bahay ko ba ito?

“Let’s go to the kitchen, Zen.”

Sumunod ako sa kanya sa kitchen. Sobrang laki ng kitchen niya! At pati kusina concrete at itim talaga ang kulay!

Yeah, favorite niya pala ang black.

“Magluluto ka? May alam kang lutuin? Baka malason ako,” saad ko at umupo sa isang high chair na nasa harap ng countertop.

“I know a little. Nang bumalik ako rito I attended some cooking classes so that I can cook something for you. Hindi lang iyong mga processed foods.” Sagot niya naman habang naghahagilap ng mga kailangan niya sa cupboards na kulay itim din!

Natamimi naman ako saglit.

“Y-You really did that?” I stammered, my heart suddenly skipping a beat.

“Hmm!” Nakangiting tugon niya.

I suddenly felt like I was hyperventilating, despite the cool air from the AC gently brushing against my skin. He carefully plated a bowl of vegetable salad, red lean meat, whole-wheat pasta, and brown rice. When he said he took cooking classes, I didn’t think much of it-but now, I can tell he took it seriously. The food he prepared was surprisingly good.

I let out a small burp after finishing the salad. Shocks! That was the first time I had eaten that much in one sitting! Sa amin kasi ang pihikan ko sa mga foods. Masasarap din naman ang luto ng chefs sa bahay ah! Masarap din magluto si Papadad.

What makes these foods special?

“How’s the foods?”

Lumipad ang mata ko kay Ezequil. Ngayon pa talaga niya iyan itatanong? After kong malinis ang plato ko?

Uminom ako ng juice. “O-okay lang.”

Nag-urong sulong ang ngiti sa kanyang labi. Bago ko pa siya masuway ay yumuko na siya at umalog ang balikat.

Bwesit! Arghh! Grrr!

Kalmutin ko kaya ito?

Siya ang naglinis ng kitchen, ng dining table, at naghugas ng pinagkainan namin. Of course, out of respect I offer a help but he turned it down.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan pa kami mag-uusap pero dinala niya ako sa kwarto niya. Maliligo raw siya kasi nangangamoy na siya!

“You can watch a movie or read books while waiting for me. Saglit lang ako sa banyo.” aniya sa akin.

Nakatingala ako sa kanya kasi nandito ako sa kama niya. Pero walang ano-ano’y naghubad siya sa kanyang tshirt sa harap ko!

Mabilis akong napaiwas ng tingin! What the hell? My cheeks burn! Shit! Ako pa talaga ang mahihiya sa ginawa niya?

Nang marinig ko ang pagsara ng pinto sa banyo ay saka lang ako nakahinga ng maluwag!

I fanned myself with my hands, trying to calm the heat rising in my chest. Stepping away from his bed, I began pacing around the room, my eyes wandering until they landed on a photo frame resting on the bedside table. Curiosity got the better of me. I crouched down and picked it up.

The photo showed a young boy beaming with joy, his full set of white teeth on display. His eyes had nearly vanished into crescents. Beside him stood a beautiful woman in a beige dress, her features are soft and graceful. Her eyes-and the color of her irises-were a perfect match to the boy’s. There was no mistaking it. She had to be his mother.

Kahit batang-bata pa ang lalaki sa larawan nakikilala ko siya. It was a photo of Ezequil as a child, standing beside his mother. The edges were jagged-torn, as if someone wanted to erase a part of the picture. Kitang-kita ko pa kasi sa gilid ang punit no’n.

“What kind of pain have you endured, Ezequil?” I whispered, my fingers gently tracing the edge of the frame.

Bago pa ako maabutan ni Ezequil na nakikialam sa gamit niya binalik ko na ang frame.

Umupo ulit ako sa kama. Tumingala ako sa concrete na ceiling. Ang laki nitong silid ni Ezequil. Ang laki nitong bahay pero ang lungkot-lungkot tingnan.

“Aish! Why do I care ba kasi?” Ungot ko at napasimangot.

Nilingon ko ang malaking kama at nakita ko ang hinubad na tshirt ni Ezequil.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sumapi sa akin at kinuha ko ang tshirt at dinala sa ilong ko.

Oh my gosh! It smells amazing! I gasped. Ezequil said he was smelly, but why does his shirt smell this good? Napapapikit ako habang amoy-amoy ko iyon! Para akong dinadala sa malawak na garden dahil sa amoy no’n. Parang naghalo-halo ang amoy ng mga bulaklak na siyang nagpapakalma sa akin.

“Zen?”

Agad akong napadilat.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Bumaba ang mata ni Ezequil sa tshirt niyang inaamoy ko!

Lord, please, buksan n’yo itong sahig ngayon at lalumin ako!

“W-what are yo-”

Ezequil didn’t get to finish his sentence when I hurled his shirt at him, it landed squarely on his face, cutting him off mid-word.

“Ahhhh! Wala akong naririnig!” Pikit mata akong sumigaw. Ayaw kong marinig kong anuman ang sasabihin ni Ezequil dahil sa nakita niya! Baka isipin niyang pinagnanasaan ko siya!

Huminto lang ako kakasigaw nang may humawak na kamay sa magkabilang balikat ko. Nagdilat ako ng mata. Nagpipigil ako sa aking hininga.

A mixture of amusement and happiness danced on Ezequil’s face, his smile too bright to hide.

“Gusto mo pala ang amoy ko ha,” he teased.

“Fuck you!” Malakas kong sigaw. Natalsikan na naman siya ng laway ko.

Siya na itong natalsikan ng laway pero nakangiti pa rin.

“Bitiwa-”

“Gusto ba ng baby natin ang amoy ng daddy niya?” malambing niyang tanong.

Sininok ako bigla!

“Hin-”

Ezequil cut me off with his mouth, planting a soft kiss on my lips that hypnotized me into silence, making me focus only on the feel of his lips on mine.

---

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CHAPTER 23

Chapter 23

Shit!

What the hell! I thought we were just going to talk. I didn’t know he would take me to his house and cook for me. Then, eventually, I ended up embarrassing myself in front of him. And then… he kissed me! Dammit!

Lihim kong kinukutos ang aking sarili habang nakaupo rito sa sofa. Nakakahiya! No! Shame was an understatement of what I felt earlier. Ikaw ba naman ang mahuli sa ganoong akto! Inaamoy ang shirt!

Bwesit kasi eh! Bakit ba kasi ang sarap amuyin no’ng shirt niya? Sinuot na niya iyon, may pawis na pero bakit ang bango? O baka ako lang ang ganito!? Shit talaga! O baka dahil nagcrave ang baby namin sa amoy ng daddy niya?

Naka-indian sit ako habang si Ezequil naman ay naka-krus ang hita sa isa’t isa. Sinampay rin ni Ezequil ang kanyang isang braso sa headrest nitong sofa. Of course, there’s a space between us. Dapat lang! Sa haba ba naman nitong sofa niya.

“So, ano ang sasabihin mo about Britta.” Patiuna ko. Baka kasi hindi na kami makapag-usap dahil mapupunta na naman kami sa ibang bagay.

Prente siyang nag-side sa akin. He was wearing white shorts and a dri-fit shirt. The shirt hugged his broad chest. Despite his casual look, his handsomeness was still domineering.

He lightly moved his head from side to side before turning his full attention to me.

“I talked to Britta last night.”

I simply raised my eyebrows at him.

He drew a sigh before continuing. “I talked to her about our engagement. I told her I want it called off-that I don’t like her nor do I want to marry her. At first, she didn’t understand me. Naghahanap siya ng ibang rason. Hanggang sa…”

“Sa?” sabad ko na sa kanya dahil inaantala niya pa.

“Sinabi ko sa kanya na may gusto akong iba-mahal na iba. Sinabi ko na kung magpapakasal man ako. Doon na sa taong mahal ko. Ayaw kong mag-suffer siya dahil lang nagpakasal kami out of business.” Dugtong niya sa akin.

I wet my lips by running my tongue over them.

“May mga nagw-work na arrange marriage, Ezequil.” Sabi ko at nagbaba ako ng tingin sa aking kamay na namamahinga sa aking binti.

“Pero meron ding hindi. Ikaw ang gusto ko, Zen. Kung magpapakasal man ako… sa’yo na.” Maingat niyang sabi na para bang takot siyang mabungangaan ko na naman.

“Ezequil-”

“For me, it’s better to choose someone that I love kaysa naman piliin ko ang taong hindi ko mahal. Kasi, kaya ko namang maging tapat sa taong mahal ko. Hindi ko siya sasaktan. Hindi ko siya bibigyan ng rason para magselos sa iba o bibigyan ng aalahanin.” Pagputol niya sa akin. While he said those words, he looked into my eyes as if he wanted them to penetrate not just my heart but my soul as well.

Ezequil didn’t give me the chance to say a word before he continued lamenting.

“My father did enough, baby. I just want that, in this matter… I get to decide. I get to decide who I want to marry. Ayokong may taong magiging katulad ng mom ko.”

He gave me a sorrowful smile.

“Zen, alam mo ba kung bakit galit ang si Papa sa pamilya mo?”

Unti-unting nalukot ang aking noo. Bakit naiba bigla ang pinag-uusapan namin?

“We’ve been rivals since we were born, Ezequil.” Mataman kong wika.

“Yes, dati pa man magkalaban na talaga ang pamilya natin. Not just in business, but also in the underground society. My father, Bailey Suldua, can’t override your father, Tyson Maranzano, when it comes to connections, operations, and even his personnel. They’re top-notch in the organization. Gustong mahigitan ni Papa ang Daddy mo, gusto niyang maging Mafia Lord pero hindi niya kaya. Hanggang sa… nakilala ni Papa ang Papadad mo, si Mr. Cassidy Barromeo, kaya naman-”

“It’s Cassidy Barromeo-Maranzano.” Pagtatama ko sa kanya.

He smiled and bobbed his head.

“Your Papadad became my father’s obsession.”

“What?” I shrieked.

“Gusto rin ni Papa makuha ang Papadad mo. Nanaisin niya lahat ng pag-aari ni Tyson Maranzano. Pero… hindi rin naman siya nagtagumpay kasi kinasal ang Papadad mo at ang Daddy. That’s why… when my mother’s family came into the picture and offered a business merger through marriage, my father married her.”

I couldn’t utter a single word. What Ezequil said left me dumbfounded. It was like he threw a dreadful truth right in front of me.

Hindi lang pala tungkol sa agawan ng kapangyarihan sa organization itong alitan ng pamilya namin? Hindi lang tungkol sa negosyo o agawan ng teritoryo. It was something personal to Bailey Suldua because… he likes my Papadad.

“Kaya sa sinabi mong pakasalan ko si Britta. Hindi ko iyon magagawa, Zen. Hindi ko kaya kasi ayokong may makaranas sa dinanas ng Mom ko kay Papa.” Ezequil blinked his eyes. Namumula ang kanyang mga mata at may mga luhang nagbabadyang umagos.

“My father used to b-beat my mom, Zen,” he said.

Ezequil pressed a finger against the bridge of his nose as if it could stop his tears from falling.

My vision blurred with my own tears as well. For some reason, my heart ached for Ezequil and for his mother.

“I-I know I can’t beat Britta the way my father did to my mother-or to any woman. I just can’t. But… I-I saw my mother beg for attention. I witnessed her sleepless nights waiting for my father to come home, only to find out he was with another woman. I saw her cry because my father couldn’t give her the smallest bit of respect-especially when he fucked around with someone else. A-and… my mom died na hindi man lang nakaranas na maging masaya sa marrige nila ni Papa.”

My tears made their way down my cheeks no matter how hard I tried to hold them back. At nang makita kong umiyak siya sa harapan ko. Wala akong ibang ginawa kung hindi ang umusog sa kanya. Dinala ko ang kanyang mukha sa aking balikat.

I let Ezequil cry on my shoulder. I was patting his back like a baby while I was crying too.

“No… no woman should feel that way. Walang babae o sino man ang dapat makaranas no’n.”

Tumango-tango ako.

Marrying someone shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s hard to find someone who can truly reciprocate your feelings. And I know very well that not all marriages are successful. Some fall out of love over the course of their marriage. Some commit sins along the way.

That’s why we need to learn to let go. Learn to let go when it’s already too much. When a marriage is no longer healthy, people should know when to walk away. What’s the essence of love and marriage if it’s already hurting you? Pulling you down to the abyss?

May pagmamahalang ipinaglalaban pero may pagmamahalang dapat tinatalikuran. Lalo na kung sira na naman ito.

Umahon siya mula sa pagkakasandal sa aking balikat. He rubbed my cheeks with his thumbs. His eyes were still bloodshot and solemn. I couldn’t fathom how much pain his father had caused him-and his mother.

“Please, don’t push me to marry Britta, Zen. Ayoko… ayoko talaga.”

Bumuntonghininga ako. Sinalubong ko ang kanyang mga titig sa akin. Dahan-dahan akong tumango sa kanya.

“Mmm,” tango ko. “Hindi na.”

Napabuga siya ng isang mahabang hininga bago ako niyakap. Humihikbi pa siya kaya naman hinayaan ko na siyang magmalabis kahit sa oras na iyon. Hinayaan ko siyang maging mahina sa gitna ng yakapan namin.

Kusang bumigat aking mga takip-mata nang malanghap ko na naman ang kanyang amoy. There’s really something about Ezequil’s scent that soothes my system. For some unknown reason, I find it relaxing.

Gusto ko lang damayan si Ezequil ngunit hindi ko naman inaasahan na makakatulog ako.

Nagising na lang ako sa mga munting pagpindot sa aking ilong, pisngi, at labi. Nagmulat ako.

A smile spread across my lips when I saw that it was Ezequil. He smiled back and continued tapping my face, as if it fascinated him. Magkatabi at sobrang lapit sa isa’t isa.

Wait!!!

Kinurap-kurap ko ang aking mga mata. Bumilog ang mata ko nang mapagtanto kong hindi ito panaginip at nasa bahay ako ni Ezequil!

Mabilis ko siyang naitulak dahil sa aking realization! Bumulagta si Ezequil sa sahig! Ezequil stifled a painful groan while writhing on the floor!

Bumangon ako at tumingin sa buong paligid. Nalaglag ang panga ko nang makita kong papalubog na ang araw! I abruptly stood up, but I stumbled when my vision suddenly spun.

“Zen,” Ezequil immediately attended to me.

Napahawak ako sa aking noo. Binalik ako ni Ezequil sa aking kinauupuan.

“Do you need something? Nasusuka ka ba? Do you want me to carry you to the bathroom?”

Umiling ako sa kanya.

I massaged my temple, and when I finally felt better, I glared at him.

“Bakit hindi mo ako ginising? Pagabi na! I need to go home!”

“Don’t worry if you’re thinking your family might find you or something. I already texted Esther that you’re with me.”

Umirap ako sa kanya. Dahil malapit siya sa akin nalanghap ko ang amoy niya. Ang bango niya! Shit! Gusto ko tuloy’ng ibaon ang aking mukha sa kanyang dibdib at langhapin ang kanyang bango!

I facepalmed.

Kumalma ka nga, Zenver! Tama na ang kahihiyan mo kanina!

“What do you want?”

“T-tubig. Nauhaw ako.”

Agad siyang tumayo at patakbong tumungo sa kusina. Pagkabalik niya ay dala na niya ang isang baso ng tubig.

“Do you like tuna salad? Hindi ko nilagyan ng mayonnaise iyon. Gusto mong kunin ko? Hinanda ko siya just in case magutom ka pagkagising mo.”

“Later na lang iyan.” ani ko.

Dinala ko ang baso sa aking labi upang uminom.

“Hmm.” Ugong niya. “How are you feeling?”

Ibinaba ko ang baso.

“Ikaw dapat ang tinatanong ko n’yan.” I said, wrinkling my face. Kinunutan niya ako sa kanyang noo. “Of course-after what you… you said to me earlier about your past.”

“It was nice. It felt nice because, after so many years, I’m finally able to share my thoughts with someone. Tingin ko lahat ng nakadagan sa dibdib ko nawala after ko siyang sabihin sa’yo.” Ezequil took my hands and brought them to his lips for a heartfelt kiss. “Thank you for listening to me, Zen. My heart has never felt this good until now. Thank you for bringing peace into it. It always feels right when I’m with you.”

“A-ahm… thank you?”

Sa dami ng gusto kong sabihin kay Ezequil iyon pa talaga ang lumabas sa bibig ko. Binaba niya ang kamay ko at humalakhak siya!

Inis kong binawi ang aking kamay sa kanya. Inis kong pinag-krus ang aking braso sa harap ng dibdib ko. I rolled my eyes dramatically before twisting my lips.

Ngumiti siya lalo at nilapit ang mukha sa akin. Hinawakan niya ang chin ko bago pinugpog ng halik ang aking labi. And I can’t even bring myself to push him or resist his kisses.

“You’re so cute when you act like that, my queen. You’re the prettiest pregnant woman when you’re pissed!”

Hinatid ako ni Ezequil pero hindi mismo sa tapat ng bahay namin. Isang bahay ang layo bago ang bahay namin ay nagpababa na ako sa kanya.

To Ezequil: umalis ka na.

Text ko sa kanya nang makarating ako sa harap ng gate namin.

Ezequil: Okay. Goodnight, baby.

To Ezequil: call me when you arrive at your house.

Ezequil: I will, my queen.😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

To Ezequil: ang sakit sa mata ng emojis mo. super dami ng heart

Kinakagat ko ang aking labi upang pigilan ang pagngiti.

Ezequil: Five hearts for, ‘I love you so much!’

To Ezequil: eww! corny!

Iling-iling akong pumasok sa gate. Ngiti-ngiti ako hanggang sa loob ng bahay.

“Ahh!” Gulat kong sambit. Muntik ko pang mahulog ang aking cellphone nang makita ko si Zhu na naka-de kuatro sa sala! “Zhu, ikaw pala.”

“Saan ka galing?” Magaslaw siyang tumayo at lumapit sa akin.

I unconsciously stepped back, afraid she might smell something on me. I’ve been in Ezequil’s house for hours, so there’s a chance his scent clung to me.

“Sa labas. Kay Milan.”

Pinaningkitan niya ako sa kanyang mata.

“Don’t lie.”

My lips trembled.

“Kay Milan nga!” Pero naningkit pa rin ang mga mata niya sa akin. She looked at me like I was some specimen under a microscope that she wanted to study. “Tsk! Ikaw nga hindi kita inusisa no’ng dinala mo sa bahay si Mason.” Sumbat ko.

Zhuri rolled her eyes and tucked her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. Parang kararating lang din nito kung saan man siya galing.

“I’m just helping him.”

“Tsk!”

“Zen, buntis ka. Huwag kang lumalabas ng ganitong oras. Makakasama ’yan sa’yo.” Mabilis niyang naibalik sa akin ang aming topic.

Really, kahit kuryoso ako kung bakit kasama niya si Mason, hindi ako nagtanong. Kung sinabi niyang tinulungan niya lang si Mason… I guess baka ganon nga. Tulong lang.

Humalik lang ako kay Zhu sa pisngi at umakyat sa taas.

---

After I took a half-bath and changed into my pink nightwear, my phone beeped. Ewan ko kung anong meron pero excited ko iyong kinuha. But when I saw that it was Milan, something within me felt like it crashed - as if I had been waiting for someone else’s message.

Milan: bruja, are you home? hinanap ka kasi ni zhuri sa akin.

Matamlay akong nagtype ng reply kay Milan.

To Milan: yes, bruja. nakauwi na ako. thank you for covering me. loveya!

Milan: welcome:0

Pinatay ko ang ilaw sa silid at hinayaan ang isang lampshade ang magsilbing ilaw ng room ko. Pahiga na ako nang muling magvibrate ang phone ko sa aking kama. Inaasahan kong si Milan na naman iyon kaya naman ang laking gulat ko nang si Ezequil pala ang nagtext.

Ezequil: I’m home, my queen. Can I call you?

Ngiti akong humiga at nagtipa ng reply.

To Ezequil: ok.

Ilang sandali lang ay tumawag nga siya.

“Hmm, bakit gusto mong tumawag. Don’t tell me you miss me!” Pagbibiro ko.

“Namiss nga kita.” Hindi man lang tinanggi.

Tumagilid ako. I feel tingles all over my body!

“B-baliw! Matutulog na ako.”

“Pwede bang… huwag mong ibaba ang tawag?”

“Huh?”

“I want to hear your snores.”

Inipit ko ang aking labi. Bwesit! Nakakalusot pa rin ang ngiti! Shit! Kahit tawag lang ito kinikilig ako na parang teenager!

“I-ikaw bahala.” Tugon ko naman at nilagay ang telepono ko sa katabing unan.

“Goodnight, baby.”

I wasn’t able to answer him, but a bright smile spread across my lips upon hearing his voice before the darkness pulled me in.

---

I don’t know how to explain it, but I found myself at Ezequil’s house again the next day. The only person who knew I was there was Esther. She was the one who covered for me every time Ezequil fetched me from a few meters away from our house.

I got addicted to how Ezequil pampered me. I was already falling in love with the food he cooked for me. He tucked me in at night, then brought me home in the afternoon. I also liked how he massaged my legs while I lay on the couch and we watched movies together. Just like today. We’ve been doing this for a week now.

“You’ve been eating too much ice cream, Zen. I think that’s enough already.” Suway ni Ezequil sa akin.

Nanlilisik ang mata kong bumaling sa kanya. Tumigil siya sa kakamasahe sa binti ko.

“Malapit mo na siyang maubos.” He pointed at the ice cream on the center table in front of us.

Kita kong mango flavor na lang iyon. Ako pa ang kumuha no’n sa ref niya. I’m already comfortable inside his house. Hindi ko nga napigilang magkomento sa kanya tungkol sa interior nitong bahay niya. At nagulat na lang ako nang pagkabalik ko rito ay pink na ang kulay ng kanyang mga sofa. Pati ang kama niya sa kwarto ay pink na. Sobrang pangit nga ng combination dahil concrete at itim nga itong bahay niya tapos nalagyan ng pink.

Akmang aabutin na ni Ezequil ang ice cream container kaya inunahan ko na siya. Mabilis akong sumandok doon at dinala sa bibig ko.

Ngunit ganon na lang ang panlalaki ng aking mga mata nang malasahan ko ang keso sa loob ng bibig ko. Damn! I thought it was a mango flavor. Dilaw din kasi ang kulay!

My stomach twisted.

Nabitiwan ko ang container ng ice cream at tumakbo tungo sa banyo.

“Baby!” sigaw ni Ezequil sa likod ko.

Nakaabot ako sa banyo at doon sumuka. Dinaluhan niya naman ako at hinagod ang likod ako. Duwal ako nang duwal nang makita ko sa malaking salamin ang repleksyon niya. Naiiyak na si Ezequil.

“I-I’m fine. Ganito talaga kapag may nakain ako o naamoy na sensitibo sa aking panlasa ngayon.” ani ko dahil paiyak na siya habang hinahagod ako.

“Pwedeng ako na lang ang ganito? Amg maglihi?” Concern niyang untag.

Natawa na lang ako at humingos.

Kapwa kami natigilan nang may marinig kaming doorbell. Kumunot ang noo niya.

“Labasin mo na,” sabi ko.

“I wasn’t expecting any visitors, baby.”

“Tingnan mo na lang. Baka kung sino iyan.”

“But-”

“Maghihilamos na lang ako.” Putol ko sa protesta niya.

Bumuntonghininga siya. Inabot niya ang isang malinis na towel at binigay sa akin bago ako iniwan.

Matapos ko sa banyo ay lumabas ako habang nagpupunas sa aking kamay. Wala si Ezequil sa sala kaya inisip kong nasa labas pa siya. Lumabas ako upang sumilip kung sino ang bisita niya.

“No, ayaw kong umalis! Isusumbong kita kay Tito Bailey kapag pinaalis mo ako.”

Natigilan ako nang makita kong nagtatalo si Ezequil at si… Britta sa may gate.

Natulos ako sa aking kinatatayuan. Napatingin sa gawi ko si Britta kaya ganon din ang kanyang gulat nang makita ako.

Fuck! What is she doing here?

---

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CHAPTER 24

Chapter 24

I hope I didn’t go to see Ezequil and his visitor. I should have just gone home. Or better yet, I wish I hadn’t come here in the first place. But who am I kidding? I wanted Ezequil’s presence. I don’t know if it’s because I’m pregnant or what.

I know I’ve already said before that I don’t need him. However, my body unconsciously yearns for him. Not in bed-but just his presence, and those little, gentle deeds he does for me. And I can’t believe I’ve become like this. I can’t even admit my feelings for Ezequil. I listened to all his confessions, but all I said were two words: ‘thank you.’

Kung sana lang umuwi ako ng maaga o hindi pumunta rito sa bahay ni Ezequil ay wala akong maabutang Britta. Sana wala akong iisipin!

I swallowed. The last time Britta and I talked, it didn’t go that well. The ex-fiancée is here-Britta Morigan! She’s a beautiful woman. Nakalugay na naman ang buhok niya at titig na titig siya sa akin ngayon. It feels as though she’s trying to puzzle me.

Nandito kami ngayon sa sala ng bahay ni Ezequil. Ezequil was sitting near to me but not too close. Sa harap namin ay si Britta. Tumingin siya kay Ezequil pero binabalik kaagad sa akin ang atensyon niya. Uuwi pa ba ako, eh, nakita na niya ako. Ano pa ang saysay? Saka kung aalis ako ay mas lalong magiging obvious na may tinatago kami ni Ezequil.

I knew that our brief interaction in Palawan-specifically at Ezequil’s villa-was enough for her to remember me.

“I… remember you,” Britta finally found her voice. With that, she broke the long silence that hovered around us.

I thought so!

I don’t know if it was just me, but I suddenly felt something-something I couldn’t explain while looking at Britta. She carried herself with grace. I don’t know much about the Morigans, but judging from Britta and her clothes, she’s clearly wealthy. Her arched eyebrows made her look strict.

“We’ve met before!” she probed.

Hindi pa rin ako nagsasalita.

Dammit! Malalaman ba ni Ezequil ngayon kung bakit ako tumatakas sa villa niya sa Palawan? Wala talaga sa timing itong si Britta. She suddenly showed up at the most unexpected hour. Lagi na lang!

Kapag tingin ko maayos na ang lahat. Lagi talagang may bagay na nagpapaalala sa akin na hindi, hindi pa maayos ang lahat.

“You’ve met? When? Where?” Ezequil asked, his eyes darting back and forth between me and Britta across from us.

Britta snapped her fingers in the air.

“In Palawan! God, it really was you!”

I gritted my teeth! Hindi ko na magawang humarap o bumaling kay Ezequil. And I don’t need to look at him to know that he’s glaring at me. His gaze is so palpable from behind! Ramdam ko na nga na parang gusto na niya akong higitin ngayon paharap sa kanya.

“Palawan?” usal ni Ezequil.

Kung kaibigan o si Milan lang itong si Britta ay baka kanina ko pa ito dinambahan at binusalan ang bibig. Kaso hindi eh.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit tila tuwang-tuwa siya ngayon dito. She can’t hide the amusement dancing in her eyes.

Shit! Wala namang nakakatawa ah! Ano bang problema ng babaeng ito? Baka kaya ayaw rin ni Ezequil sa babaeneg ito dahil sa mga asal niya?

“Hmm! We exchange a few words to each other that time. Nag-abot kasi kaming dalawa sa villa mo, Ez. Remember, no’ng naabutan kita sa beach? That was also the time when we talked. Zenver… Maranzano, right?”

Tanging pagpikit na lang sa mata ang aking nagawa. Talaga namang ang sarap ding busalan ng bibig nito. Hindi ko lang alam kung sinasadya niya ba ito o hindi.

“Mmm… yeah, I remember you,” I managed to utter.

“Zen,” Ezequil called me, but I didn’t give him a single look.

“Akala ko napadpad ka lang sa villa ni Ez back then. Kilala mo naman ako, di ba? I formally introduced myself to you, Zenver Maranzano.”

Nakuyom ko ang aking kamay.

“Britta, whatever you’re trying to say, please-I don’t want to hear it. You may go,” Ezequil interrupted.

But Britta was persistent. She gave me a smug look, and I raised an eyebrow at her. God, my hands were shaking right now!

“Alam mo naman na girlfriend-fiancée ko na si Ezequil-”

“Britta!” Ezequil meddled.

“…alam mong may namanagitan sa amin ni Ezequil pero lumandi ka!”

“Britta, you know what happened that day too, right?” Bahala na. Sinabi niya na rin naman kay Ezequil eh. “Umalis ako. I leave his villa. Lumayo ako sa kanya. I knew I did wrong, na hinayaan kong landiin din ako ni Ezequil. Hindi ko alam na may fiancée siya. Pero nang malaman ko… again… umalis ako. Hindi ako nagparamdam sa inyo!” I said it without stammering, which made me so glad!

“Baby,”

Sinubukan akong hawakan ni Ezequil pero winaksi ko ang kanyang kamay.

“Really? Eh, ano ito? Bakit kayo magkasama? Ikaw rin ba ang nagsabi kay Ez na putulin ang engagement namin?”

“As I said-”

“What the fuck, Britta!” Ezequil’s voice drowned out mine as he spat. “Britta, maayos tayong nag-usap. I thought you understand me! Alam mong sa simula palang ayaw ko na sa meron tayo. Sinabi ko na sa’yo… I really like someone else. Hindi ka pa man dumating… may gusto na akong iba.”

“At siya iyon, Ez?” Mariin niya akong tinuro. “Gusto ka rin ba nito? He’s a Maranzano. Hindi mo ba iniisip na gagamitin ka lang nito? God! He’s your enemy! Are you even thinking, Ez?”

“I know that, Britta. I know that very well. But I don’t care. He can use me however he wants.”

“Does Tito Bailey know about this craziness of yours, Ez?”

“Britta,”

“Baka sini-seduce ka lang nito, Ez. Tapos ikaw, handa ka nang magsakripisyo-”

“He wasn’t… hindi siya ang lumandi sa amin, Britta! I was the one who flirted with him. I was the one who was hungry for his attention! Kung may lumandi man, ako iyon. Kung may nang seduce man, ako iyon.” Gigil na putol ni Ezequil kay Britta. “Britta, we already talked about us and ended whatever we had. Kahit kayo-kayo lang ang nag-uusap. Akala ko malinaw na iyon sa’yo? Why are you here? Why are you suddenly talking about those trivial things?” Batid ko na ang pagkadisgusto ni Ezequil sa boses niya palang.

Hindi ko nilulubayan ng titig si Britta kaya naman kita ko talaga ang pagdaan ng sakit sa kanyang mga mata. This woman… she likes Ezequil. There’s no doubt about that. She’s hurting, yet she was able to hide it by maintaining her cold expression.

“Because Tito Bailey said, Ez. Sinabi niyang pagod ka lang daw- frustrate, kaya mo iyon nasabi. Maybe you just need time.” Britta reasoned.

“I don’t want to repeat myself over and over again for you, Britta. From the very beginning… my heart already belonged to someone else. It’s better if you leave now. You can’t change my mind, nor what my heart wants anymore, Britta. You said you left everything in Paris just to come here-but maybe your life truly belongs there.”

Britta’s eyes flickered with pain.

“And what you meant when you said your heart belongs to someone is…” Nilipat ni Britta ang kanyang mata sa akin. Tumalim iyon. The pain lingering around her eyes shifted into something else… detestation. “…this man… Zenver Maranzano.”

“Yes, so please leave,” Ezequil remarked without hesitation.

May gentleness sa mga titig ni Britta kay Ezequil pero ang lalaki walang pakialam. Tingin ko nga kung kaya niya lang pitikin paalis si Britta ay gagawin niya. Nang bumaling sa akin si Britta ay nanunusok na ang kanyang mga tingin sa akin.

Somehow, I feel sympathy towards her; however, there’s a part of me that doesn’t feel sorry about any of this. Masama na ba ako nito?

Nang umalis si Britta namayani ang katahimikan sa buong bahay.

Heto na naman ako. Natatakot na ulit ako. What if Britta tells Bailey Suldua about what happened today? She likes Ezequil, and if she decides to pursue him by telling Bailey, things could get complicated. Kailangang may bumitiw. Kailangang may magsakripisyo. Sa tindi ba naman ng galit ni Bailey sa family ko.

“My queen,”

I softened when Ezequil called me. I turned to face him, my eyes welling up with tears.

“Inagaw ba kita? Nang agaw ba ako?” I said, almost a whisper.

Ezequil shook his head vehemently. “Baby, no. You didn’t steal me. Wala kang inagaw. Please, huwag mong isipin ang sinabi ni Britta, Zen.”

I didn’t see or think carefully the repercussions of my decisions back then. I didn’t know it would turn into this mess. No’ng naisipan kong lapitan si Ezequil, ang tanging nasa isip ko lang ay gamitin siya. Pero ngayon wala na. Ngayon gusto ko na lang naiparaya siya. Ayaw kong masaktan siya. Lalo na kung dahil sa akin.

“Ezequil… alam mo bang nilapitan kita dahil… gusto kitang gamitin? No’ng pinuntahan kita sa bar… that was the first step of my plan. Britta was right. I planned to seduce you, to use you so I could use you as my ear inside your own family.” Amin ko sa kanya.

Ezequil took my hand and pressed them.

“I know.”

My jaw dropped to the ground!

“What?”

“Baby, I’m not really that stupid. Oo, nanibago nga ako nang bigla ka lang lumapit sa akin. Hindi mo pa kasi siya ginagawa eversince. I already have a hunch.”

“Bakit hindi mo ako kinumpronta? Bakit sinarili mo? M-may plano ka rin ba? You have plans on using me as well?” My heart hammered painfully against my chest.

“Yes,”

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa naging tugon niya sa akin. Nanikip ang dibdib ko.

“May plano ako pero hindi tulad ng sa’yo. you planned to seduce me just to use me, then on the other hand, I planned to play along so you’d fall for me. I wanted you to like me too, Zen,” he explained. “That little hint you gave me broke down the walls I had tried to build for years. I crawled on the ground just to put those walls up, but you tore them down so easily. I’ve always liked you, Zen. At walang makakapagpapabago d’yan. Not our names. Not our family. Not anyone.”

As he said those words, my tears slowly made their way down my cheeks. No matter how hard I tried to blink them back, they still fell-like they had a will of their own.

“I-I’m sorry, Ezequil,” I blurted out between sobs.

“Baby, please, don’t cry. You’re pregnant with our child,” Ezequil cooed gently, his thumb brushing my wet cheeks. “If you can’t reciprocate what I feel, I’ll understand. Just… let me be a man and a father to our child-”

“Stupid!” I barked.

His forehead creased in confusion.

“My queen…”

Damn him.

“I’m sorry… for not telling you how I truly feel about you! Tanga mo naman! I also feel the same way. I also like you. S-siguro nga… nagtagumpay ka sa plano mo. Dammit!” I grumbled under my breath.

“Fuck!” Malakas niyang untag. Lumipad ang kamay niya sa aking balikat. “Really, my queen? You like me too? Hindi ka naman nagkamali, right?”

Umirap ako sa kanya.

“OA! Oo nga!” Dahil sa kanyang reaksyon ay nainis ako. Over naman siya sa kanyang reaksyon! Tingin ko mas OA siya ngayon kumpara no’ng nalaman niyang buntis ako. Though… nawalan nga pala siya ng malay no’n.

Sinugod ako ni Ezequil ng kisses. Kahit na naiinis ako sa kanya ay hinayaan ko siya. Labag siya sa loob pero gusto ng baby namin eh.

“Magpakasal na tayo-”

Sinalampak ko sa kanyang bibig ang throw pillow.

“Anong kasal?” Banas kong saad.

“Baka kasi… bawiin mo. Or worse-this is just a dream! Can you repeat your confession, my queen? I want to record it on my phone!”

Inikutan ko siya sa aking mata at pinagkrus ang aking braso sa harap ng aking dibdib!

“But, baby, kaya ka ba umalis no’n sa Palawan kasi nagkita kayo ni Britta? Hindi totoo ang family emergency na sinasabi mo?” Sumeryoso ang kanyang boses.

I gulped. “I was just disappointed with myself back then, Ezequil. You can’t blame me.”

He pulled me into a hug. “I’m so sorry, my queen. That won’t happen again.”

---

Esther dragged me to the mall! Hindi na siya makakapaghintay sa gender ng baby ko dahil gusto na niyang mamili. Actually, pwede namang siya na lang ang mamili kaso kinaladkad niya ako rito.

“Mas gusto mo na lang kasama si Kuya Ezequil, Kuya Zen. I’m so sad na. I feel like kuya Ezequil took you away from us! Kahit na nahihirapan akong magsinungaling kina Papadad, ginagawa ko for you, Kuya!” Pangungunsensya niya pa sa akin kaya sumama na ako.

“Which one is pretty, Kuya?” Kinikilig niyang taas sa dalawang pares ng maliliit na sapatos. Sky blue and pink iyon.

“The pink-”

“Oh, I like the both of them na pala. Bilhin ko na lang. Baka kasi maubos na ito sa susunod na balik natin.” Putol niya naman sa akin.

Umiling ako.

Kung kay Arth niya ito ibibigay ay sasaya pa ako. Feeling ko kasi magiging kambal o triplets din iyong baby niya. Sana tama ako.

Though thankful ako sa lahat ng ginagawa ni Esther for me.

“Esther, upo lang ako.”

Dumaan naman ang pag-aalala sa kanyang mga mata.

“Oh, so inconsiderate of me. Sige, kuya, ipapa-counter ko na rin ito then will go the next store.”

Tumango ako sa kanya at humanap ng mauupuan.

Sa harap ng store ay may blocks kaya doon ako umupo. I opened my phone and felt ecstatic when I saw a series of messages from Ezequil.

From Ezequil: I hope you’re here, my queen.

From Ezequil: My house feels lonely without you.

From Ezequil: I bought some groceries for you. Ready na ang kitchen ko kung kailan ka pupunta ulit dito, Zen.

From Ezequil: I’m off to work, baby. Have a good day with your sister. I love you and our child.

My lips curved into a smile as I began crafting my reply to Ezequil-when suddenly, a shadow appeared in front of me!

Inangat ko ang aking tingin at ganon na lang ang pagtataka ko nang makita ko si Britta sa harapan ko.

“Don’t you ever shout!” she threatened.

My teeth ground against each other. I didn’t even have any intention of shouting.

“Britta-”

“Stay away from Ezequil, Zenver Maranzano. You’ll only drag him down.”

I raised an eyebrow at her and threw her a death glare.

“What if I don’t want to?” I smirked.

“He’s mine!”

Crazy.

“No one belongs to you, bitch. Get him if you can. But let me tell you this… you’ll see hell.” I declared.

---

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CHAPTER 25

Chapter 25

What they only ever saw was my exterior. They always saw me as meek, seemingly submissive, and the easiest target among all the Maranzanos. I’ve never been given a chance to fight or join any operation in the underground society. But I am capable. I am capable of fighting. I am capable of defending myself.

Just because I have soft features and a modest appearance doesn’t mean I’m not bold and fearless. They shouldn’t forget—I have Tyson Maranzano’s blood running through my veins.

Britta’s eyes pierced through me, her heavy stare brimming with emotion. I could only name a few: anxiety, hostility, and loathing.

We feel the same way. But I’m not afraid of her. I’m just anxious—because I’m pregnant! I’m healthy, and so is my baby. But I won’t risk my child because of this woman. Kung anuman ang gagawin niya ngayon hindi ako natatakot. It’s just that I’m more concerned about my baby. If this woman dislikes me, then I dislike her too. I don’t like her.

Kahit no’ng sa Palawan, hindi na talaga mabuti ang loob ko sa kanya. Hindi lang dahil fiancée siya ni Ezequil. Kung hindi mas may malalim pa roon na hindi ko maipaliwanag!

Sa likod nitong maganda niyang mukha ay batid kong may nakakubli roon. And I can’t wait to find out what it is!

“What? Are you just going to stand there?” I glare at her, my eyes burning with intensity. I want her to know just how much I despise her too.

Iritado rin ako rito kasi tawag nang tawag kay Ezequil ng Ez! Something inside me irks whenever I remember her calling Ezequil what way!

“Are you stalking me? Bakit nandito ka? Bakit alam mo kung nasaan ako? Inaakala mo bang kasama ko si Ezequil? Hindi ako kagaya ng ama niya na ginagawang aso ang anak. Hayop kung tumingin sa anak niya.” Prangka ko.

Suminghap siya. Her eyes stretched to its limit, shock by my boldness.

Anong akala niya? Paplastikin ko siya? Tapos na ako sa phase na iyan. I’m done hiding. I’m done masking my true self.

“How dare you say something like that to Tito Bailey!?”

Tumayo ako. Kahit na mas matangkad siya sa akin hindi ako natatakot sa kanya. Sana lang wala itong backup ngayon. Nasa labas pa naman ang mga tauhan namin. I wasn’t comfortable kasi na ang daming nakasunod sa amin ni Esther. Shopping lang naman at nasa mall kami. We can’t make a scene.

“Why? What do you expect me to say? Do you want me to sugarcoat my words? Eh, hayop naman talaga ang lalaking iyon ah. You like my man. You truly like Ezequil, but you don’t even know what he’s been through at the hands of her father, Britta Morigan.”

Her forehead creased—those deep lines clearly showing she had no idea about Bailey Suldua’s true nature. Poor Morigans.

“Y-you… you’re only strong because of your family! You’re only this bold because of them! Kung wala sila, you’re just nothing too, Zenver. Without them at your disposal… you’re just nothing.”

Humakbang ako paabante sa kanya at umaatras naman siya. Naalarma siya.

“Alam mo ba ang sinasabi mo, Britta? Do you… wanna see who Zenith Verniz really is? I wasn’t named Zenith just to be at the bottom,” I said, my eyes burning with rage—dangerous and serious.

“What? What are you going to do? Hurt me? I have my men all around us.”

Pagkaksabi niya no’n ay saglit kong nilibot ang aking mata sa paligid. And she wasn’t bluffing at all. I saw several men in their all black uniform around us. Nakaabang lang din sila kay Britta.

“Coward.” Ang maikli kong sabi sa kanya.

She laughed hysterically. Baliw!

“Where is your gut now, Zenith Verniz?” she scoffed, covering her mouth.

Kung hindi lang talaga ako buntis ngayon. Tatamaan na ito sa akin! Bwesit! Arghh!

My lips curved upward.

Nang makita niya ang ngisi ko ay napatigil naman siya sa tawa niya.

“You’re not worth it, Britta. Do whatever you want to Ezequil—I’ve already given you my warning. If you don’t heed what I said… don’t blame me for what I might do to you. Hmm?”

Britta glared at me.

“I’m not afraid of you, Zenver. You don’t know me that well.”

“Bitch, I feel the same way!” I shot her my deadliest glare before turning my back on her.

Ayokong bumalik sa loob ng store. Ayaw kong bigyan pa ng ideya si Britta about sa pregnancy ko. Ayokong gamitin niya ito bilang kahinaan ko. Dahil  kapag nangyari iyon… magkakamatayan kami!

To Esther: Esther nauna na ako sa sasakyan. I’m sleepy.

After a while I received her reply.

From Esther: Okay, Kuya. Do you want anything? How about food?

To Esther: I wanted to see Ezequil.

I smirked after sending my reply.

From Esther: That’s not fair, Kuya. Foods na lang.

Natawa ako sa reply niya. Nakikita ko sa aking isip ang histura ng kapatid ko. Kahit busy sila sa GEs talagang nilalaanan nila ako ng time lagi. Tagos na tagos talaga sa puso ko ang pagmamahal at aruga nila sa akin at sa baby ko.

Si Evren at Ehann laging may pasalubong sa akin pagkauwi nila. Alam nilang naging mahilig ako sa sweets kaya laging puno ang ref namin sa mga sweets. Careful na rin sila sa mga foods dahil alam nilang sensitibo ako ngayon.

Humilig ako at heardrest nitong backseat. Pumikit ako at pilit na kinakalma ang aking sarili. Sobrang lakas kasi ng tibok ng puso ko at nanginginig ang kamay ko. Parang naghahanap ng bagay ang kamay ko at gustong manakit!

Unti-unti ay huminahon ako habang inaalala ang mga masasayang alaala ko kasama ang aking pamilya. Papadad and Daddy’s small banters, their flirting moments, ans our teasing to them. Zhuri’s disgusted face (natatawa kasi talaga ako sa mukha ni Zhu kapag ganon). And then Ezequil face showed in my head. Ang mga papansin niya sa akin. Ang mga ngiti niya kahit naiinis na ako. At ang mga corny niyang banat sa akin.

What more can I ask for? I have a loving and happy family. I have a man who resonates with what I feel. Shit! Kung magugulo ito dahil kay Britta. She will have to pay the price, and I’ll make sure she never forgets it! Bailey Suldua or Britta Morigan — I’m not afraid of either of them.

Sa paghihintay ko kay Esther sa sasakyan ay nakatulog na ako. Naalimpungatan na lang ako na para na akong dinuduyan.

Sniff. It was my favorite scent or smell this past few days.

Sniff. The smell was so familiar!

Sniff. Smells like… Ezequil!

Nagmulat ako. My eyes zoom out when I saw it was Ezequil carrying me in a bridal style. Naramdaman niya siguro ang mga titig ko sa kanya kaya nagbaba siya ng tingin sa akin.

“Good afternoon, my queen.”

“G-good afternoon.” Tumingin ako sa paligid. Shit! Nasa labas kami ng bahay niya. Naglalakad siya ngayon patungo sa main door ng bahay! “T-teka! Why am I here? Where’s my sister? Our bodyguards?”

Ezequil chuckled.

“Esther texted me that you miss me.”

Kumalampit ako sa kanyang leeg. I hid my face in the nook of his neck before sniffing his scent. One of this day, hindi na ako magtataka kung kukuha na ako ng tshirt ni Ezequil sa laundry basket niya.

Gusto kasi ng baby namin ang amoy ng daddy niya. Amoy ng pawis nito.

Naipikit ko ang aking mata. Hindi ko aakalain na kapatid ko pa talaga ang maglalaglag sa akin ng ganito!

“Hindi! Hindi naman kita namiss.” Pabulong kong wika at diniin ko ang aking mukha sa leeg niya.

I can’t help but feel something in my stomach. It seems like there are insects flying around in there, making it flip.

‘Miss na miss kita, Ezequil. And I want us to stay like this. I hope you’re not a Suldua.’ 

Of course, I didn’t say it out loud. He already dislike being a Suldua. Ayaw ko nang dagdagan pa iyon.

He gently put me on the sofa before kneeling in front of me. Hinubad niya ang sapatos ko at itinabi iyon.

“Anong gusto mong kainin? Sinabi ni Esther kanina na hindi raw kayo kumain.”

I pursed my lips before nodding my head.

“I crave chicken legs. Can you cook something with it? Gusto ko rin ng apple juice for my drink. And also… gusto ko iyong paa ng manok ay puro kaliwa.”

Ang ngiti ni Ezequil ay unti-unting napalitan ng pagkalito.

“Kaliwa? Kaliwang paa ng manok?”

Tumango ako.

“Dapat pantay din ang laki nila. Dapat odd number ang dami ng legs.”

“Baby,” nahihirapan niyang untag.

Umirap ako sa kanya.

“Sabi mo, gusto ko.” Pagmamaktol ko.

“Y-yeah, of course. Magluluto na ako ngayon.”

Akmang tatayo na siya nang hulihin ko ang kanyang kamay.

“I want mangoes too.”

Ngumiti siya. “Sure. Ilan ang gusto mo?”

“Tatlo.”

“Okay—”

“Pero gusto ko makita kitang umakyat sa puno ng mangga. Gusto ko na ikaw ang magpitas sa kanila. Tapos isa-isa mo silang ibaba. Hindi pwede na sabay.”

Nalaglag ang kanyang panga sa sinabi ko.

“My q-queen, I still have to cook for you chicken legs…”

Padarag akong tumayo.

“Edi, kung ayaw mo uuwi na lang ako.”

“No!” Aniya sabay tayo at hawak sa magkabilang balikat ko.

“Uunahin natin ang mangga mo tapos magluluto ako. Is that okay with you?” Natataranta niyang saad.

Kumibot ang bibig ko. Gusto kong magprotesta kaso kailangan may unahin siya. Hindi naman pwedeng sabay-sabay niya iyong gawin.

“Okay,” labag pa sa loob kong wika.

I was confident when I said I wanted freshly picked mangoes because I saw a mango tree in his backyard the last time I was here.

Excited akong sumunod sa kanya. Kaso napatigil ako nang bigyan ako ni Ezequil ng pambahay na tsinelas.

Lumabi akong tumingin sa kanya. Naluluha ako. Pink kasi ang kulay no’ng slippers tapos mabalahibo siya at parang may tenga ng rabbit! Ang cute-cute niya! Dahil sa akin unti-unti nang nagkakaroon ng kulay itong bahay niya. Nahahaluan na ng pink ang concrete at black na kulay.

“Thank you! Binili mo ito?”

“Hmm. Ayaw mo kasing magsuot no’ng mga itim kong tsinelas dito.”

Nang nasa labas na kami ay napapalakpak ako. Hitik na hitik sa bunga ang mangga!

“Take off your shirt.” Utos ko sa kanya.

“Baby.” May alinlangan niyang untag kaso naghubad din naman.

Bigla namang uminit ang mga pisngi ko nang sa harapan ko talaga niya iyon ginawa. Nagpapasikat siya sa akin!

I smiled inwardly as I accepted his black shirt and hugged it secretly. I wanted to keep it so I could bring it back home.

I was smiling from ear to ear as I watched Ezequil climb up the mango tree. He was struggling, but I never heard a word from him. At kagaya ng utos ko. Isa-isa niya talagang binaba ang mga mangga ko.

Tumatagaktak ang pawis ni Ezequil mula sa noo niya pababa sa kanyang katawan. Ang malalapad niyang dibdib ay tumataas baba rin.

“A-are you tired? Later ka na lang magluto.” May guilt kong untag nang makita ko ang mga malalaki niyang pawis.

“It’s fine, my queen. Baka nagugutom ka na rin. Anyway, ayos na ba sa’yo ang mga mangga na ’yan?”

Ngumuso ako. “Hmm!”

Dumeretso kami sa kusina. Hinugasan niya ang mangga at siya na rin ang nagbalat no’n para sa akin. Habang seryoso siyang nagbabalat sa mangga ko ay pinagmamasdan ko naman ang kanyang hubad na katawan. It was shimmering with his sweat from earlier. And of course, hindi ko talaga binalik sa kanya ang shirt niya! Akin na ’to!

“Here,” sabi niya sabay tulak sa plato. Nandon na ang tatlo kong mangga.

“Hindi ko sila… kakainin.” Putol-putol mong sambit.

Ezequil’s mouth hanged open.

“Z-Zen,”

Kinuha ko ang plato. “Manonood ako habang nagluluto ka. Aamuyin ko lang itong mga mangga.”

“Pwede mo silang kainin, Zen. Marami naman sa labas. Aakyat ulit ako kapag naubusan ka.”

“Ayoko nga! Aamuyin ko lang sila. Gusto ko ang amoy nila eh.”

Ezequil could only sigh before rummaging through his cupboards. Magluluto na naman kasi siya.

Watching him dedicate so much effort to cooking for me melted my heart. I knew he was tired from climbing the tree back and forth three times. But he didn’t complain—and now, he was cooking for me. Nagsusukat pa siya sa paa ng manok at sinisiguro na kaliwa ang mga ito.

As much as I want to talk about Britta, but I don’t want to spoil this moment with him. Gusto kong sulitin ang mga oras na kasama siya kasi mamaya ay iuuwi niya rin ako.

For so many years, no man had ever managed to slip inside my heart—until Ezequil. Aside from my family, Ezequil also took a special place in my heart. That’s why I wanted to protect this man just like how I wanted to protect my family.

“Thank you!” I said, eyes glowing as I stared at the chicken legs on my plate. Nandito na rin ang juice ko.

Binilang ko ito at sinigurong puro mga kaliwa!

Umupo si Ezequil sa katabing silya.

“You’re always welcome, my queen.”

I turned to face him.

“You must be tired.”

Sinuklay niya ang buhok ko. “Don’t worry about me, Zen. This is the least I can do for you. I know how hard it is to carry our baby. Hindi kita natutulungan sa mga morning sickness mo. Kaya dito ako bumabawi. At least I can cook something for you and for our baby.”

“Thank you so much, Ezequil.”

“No need to thank me, baby. As a soon to be father, this is the least that I can do for you and for our baby.” Humalik siya sa aking noo. “I love you, Zen. Magtitiis ako ngayon sa patago nating pagkikita. I will wait until you’re ready to introduce me to your family. And it’s just a shame because… I don’t have a family like yours.”

Umiling ako sa kanya. “It’s not that I’m not ready, Ezequil. I’m just finding a right time. Saka, wala akong pali kung wala kang family na tulad ng sa akin.”

“Hmm! Babawi na lang ako sa atinnmg pamilya.”

“And I… I-I love you too!”

Ezequil bit his lip so hard to suppress his smile. His ears reddened before he murmured a curse under his breath.

Gabing-gabi na nang ihatid ako ni Ezequil sa bahay kaya naman hinatid niya ako hanggang sa harap ng gate namin. Kampante rin naman kasi ako na tulog na ang nasa bahay sa ganitong oras.

Ezequil opened the car’s door for me, which is what he usually do.

“Text me if nakarating ka na sa bahay mo.” Ang palaging linya ko kapag hinahatid na niya ako sa bahay.

He smiled sweetly.

“I will, Zen.” Si Ezequil at lumapit sa akin.

I instinctively closed my eyes when he lowered his head to kiss my lips. His kiss was slow and so gentle that it made my stomach twist. I moved with the slow, sweet rhythm of his lips.

Ezequil’s kisses made me forget the world around me. I was so drowned in the way his lips massaged mine—until someone’s voice cut through my hazy sanity.

“Princess!?” My father’s voice echoed like thunder in the midst of the storm!

Naputol ang halikan namin ni Ezequil nang dahil sa malakas na boses ni Daddy Tyson!

---

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CHAPTER 26

Chapter 26

The pounding of my heart against my chest rises to my throat. I can even feel the pulse of my blood in my ears. Nanlalaki ang mga mata kong bumaling sa direksyon kung saan nanggaling ang malakas na boses ni Daddy. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead despite the cold breeze.

Ezequil and I were like two cats caught by their owner while eating the chicken on the table. Time seemed to stop. At ang tanging naririnig ko na lang ay ang malakas na kabog ng dibdib ko. Hindi pa nakakatulong ang malamig na hampas ng hangin.

Kasama ni Daddy si Papadad. Nakapantulog na sila at eskandalong nakatitig sa amin ni Ezequil. Gosh! Sa lahat ng pagkakataon na pwede kaming mahuli ng mga parent ko ay ngayon pa talaga. Ngayon pa talaga na humalik sa akin si Ezequil. Ngayon pa talaga na nandito kami sa harap ng bahay. Ngayon pa talaga na lumabas ang Daddy at Papadad!

The loud beating of my heart ceases when I feel a warm palm intertwine with mine. I glance down at my hand, only to find Ezequil gently squeezing it. It’s as if he knows exactly how I feel right now.

Eventually, my heartbeat slows as Ezequil softly rubs his thumb over my hand. Nawala ang buong atensyon ko kina Papadad sa harapan namin dahil sa daliri ni Ezequil. Parang ina-assure niya ako sa pamamagitan no’n. 

It seems like he was trying to say that, no matter what happens, he will always stand by my side, and that he won’t leave me—that we’re in this together. Hindi ko kayang takasan pa ito. Wala ng alibi ang makaka-obra ngayon dahil nahuli kami sa akto.

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay ni Ezequil. Nang tingnan ko si Papadad ay saglit akong natigilan.  Nakatingin siya sa kamay namin ni Ezequil na magkahawak.

Slowly, Papadad snaked his arms around Daddy’s arm.

“Let’s get inside first. Love, come on.” Anyaya ni Papadad sa nabato kong ama. It was so rare to see the mighty Tyson Greg Maranzano this shock. “Zen, sumunod kayo. Ipapasok ninyo sa tauhan natin ang sasakyan ni Ezequil.”

Nang tumalikod sina Papadad ay rinig ko ang pagbuga ni Ezequil ng marahas na hininga. Hinagod niya ang dibdib na para bang may bumara doon na gusto niyang maalis sa pamamagitan ng paghagod.

“Are you okay?” I asked worriedly.

“I’m fine, my queen. It’s just that… your daddy is so intimidating, no matter how many interactions we had back then in the organization and at some galas. Hindi ako nasasanay.”

Humagikhik ako.

“Akala ko ang tapang mo. Parang dati lang handang-handa kang harapin sila, pero ngayon nangangatog na pala ang tuhod mo?” Panunukso ko sa kanya.

Naningkit ang mata niya bago ako hinagkan sa labi.

“Kinakabahan lang ako pero hindi ako natatakot. Of course, your father is Tyson Maranzano, the former Mafia Lord. Who wouldn’t be nervous?”

Nginitian ko siya.

“Pasok na tayo.”

“Right, nilalamig ka na ba?”

Umiling ako sa kanya.

“Hindi naman. You keep me warm so I don’t feel cold anymore.”

Sabay kaming pumasok ni Ezequil at hindi ko alam na ganito pala kabilis kumilos ang pamilya ko. Dahil nang makarating kami sa sala ay nando’n na ang triplets. Sina Zhuri at kuya Zy lang ang wala.

Esther looked at me worriedly. Sina Ehann at Evren naman ay pinagmamatiyagan lang si Ezequil. 

“Dito na kayo, kuya.” ani Esther.

Hindi ko magawang pakawalan ang kamay ni Ezequil. It’s not that I don’t trust my family. Tingin ko kasi kapag bibitiwan ko siya ay mawawalan din ako ng lakas.

“Thank you, Esther.” Mahina kong untag.

Esther gave me a lopsided smile. “Papadad and Daddy caught the two of you?”

Tumango ako.

Hindi na hinintay sina Zhuri at kuya Zy. Kitang-kita ko na atat na atat na si Daddy.  Masama rin ang kanyang titig kay Ezequil at kung hindi lang kay Papadad sa tabi ay baka kanina pa nito sinugod si Ezequil. Si Ehann naman ay parang naghihintay lang din ng isang pagkakamali mula kay Ezequil at handa nang makipag-away. Si Evren ay panay ang pisil sa kamay. Nangangati na rin sigurong manuntok. But of course, they cannot do that. Una nilang babanggain ang kamay ni Papadad kapag susugod sila.

Nakakahinga na ako ngayon ng maluwag dahil nakita kong pangiti-ngiti na si Papadad habang nakatingin sa amin ni Ezequil. Particularly sa kamay namin na magkahawak.

“Matagal na itong nangyayari?” Kumuyom ang panga ni Daddy. Hinaplos ni Papadad ang braso ni Dad.

“N-not that long, dad.” Sagot ko.

“And no one knows about this? Tumatakas ka sa bahay, Zen, para makasama ang lalaking ito?” Turo ni Dad kay Ezequil na parang hindi niya ito kilala.

“I know!” Saad ni Esther!

“What? You know about his, Ate?” Nai-eskandalong sambit ni Evren. “You are conspiring with them?”

Esther signed.

“Kaya ba ikaw ang laging kasama ni kuya Zen, Esther? Anong ginawa ng lalaking ito para mapasunod ka niya? Did he threatened—”

“Kuya Ehann, no!” Putol na ni Esther kay Ehann.

“Walang kasalan si Esther. It was all my fault.” Singit naman ni Ezequil sa mga nagkakainitan kong kapatid.

“Dahil talaga lahat ng ito sa’yo.” si Ehann.

“Mabuti at alam mo.” ani Evren.

Pumagitna naman si Esther.

“Ginawa ko siya not for Kuya Ezequil, okay? I’m doing it for kuya Zen. I know na kahit hindi man sabihin ni Kuya Zen. He’s missing Kuya Ezequil’s presence. No matter how much we spoil him, there’s always one person who can truly satisfy him and make him happy—and that’s Kuya Ezequil. I know he’s our rival, but right now, I’m just thinking about Kuya Zen’s situation.” Esther explained. “Kaya ako pumapayag at hi ayaang ilihim ito kasi alam kong safe naman si Kuya Zen kay Kuya Ezequil. I know how sincere he is with his feelings. I saw how he takes care of Kuya Zen, and it’s the same way Daddy took care of and loved Papadad.” Esther’s voice trembled.

Naluha ako habang nakikinig kay Esther. There are also tears welling up in her eyes, but she manages to explain things to me.

Dumaan ang sakit sa mata nina Ehann at Evren bago hinagod ang likod ni Esther. They murmured something to Esther and I saw Esther nodding her head.

“I’m so sorry.” Napunta sa akin ang kanilang atensyon. “Alam kong mali ko na naman ito na nilihim ko ang nangyayari sa amin ni Ezequil. Hindi naman ako natatakot. I’m just looking for the right time to explain things… but w-we got caught.”

Kita ko ang pagpikit ni Daddy.  Si Papadad naman ay tumango lang. Parang pinaparating niya na magpatuloy ako.

I cleared my throat before continuing. “Walang kasalanan si Esther dito. Ginagawa ko ito kasi… ito nga ang gusto ko. Aminin ko man o hindi sa sarili ko… I really love Ezequil, Daddy, Papadad. I don’t know how it happened, but one day, I just opened my eyes and found myself looking for him. I used to hate him, but my poor heart still yearns for him. Hindi rin naman ako tatakas ng bahay at lihim na pupunta sa bahay niya… kung wala akong gusto sa kanya. I’m so sorry if I only bring disappointment—”

“Princess,  no!”

“Zenver, hindi.”

Sabay pa ang pagputol ni Papadad at Daddy sa akin.

“I know what you feel, Zen. Alam ko ang pakiramdam na ayaw mo na pero iba ang tinitibok ng puso mo. Alam ko iyang pakiramdam na galit ka dapat pero sa puso mo alam mong espesyal siya at hinahanap mo siya. I’ve…” Ngumiti si Papadad. “I’ve been there, Zen. And I can’t blame you. Huwag mong isipin na disappointment ka just because you fell in love to the man you used to hate.”

Hinawakan ni Daddy ang kamay ni Papadad.

“Your Papadad is right, princess. We’re not really mad at you. We’re mad because that man tried to sneak you behind our backs.” Sumama ang timpla ng mukha ni Dad nang balingan si Ezequil. “Kung gusto mo ang anak ko. Bakit kailangang palihim at patago? Hindi mo kayang maging lalaki? Hindi kami kayang pakiharapan? Where’s your balls, Suldua?”

“Sir, it’s not like that—”

“Daddy, ako ang may gusto na huwag munang humarap…”

“Let him speak for himself, kuya.” Awat naman sa akin ni Ehann.

Tumingin ako kay Ezequil nang pisilin niya ang kamay ko.

“It’s okay.” Bulong niya sa akin.

Bumaling muli si Ezequil sa kina Daddy, Papadad, Ehann, at Evren bago matapang na sinalubong ang mga matatalim na titig ni Daddy.

“I know my faults here, sir. I’m sorry. I’m sorry na sa gano’ng sitwasyon niyo pa nalaman ang tungkol sa amin ni Zen.” Saysay ni Ezequil. Habang naglilitanya siya ay nakatitig lang ako sa mukha niya. While he was busy defending us, I was busy admiring him.

“Wala po akong balak na itago kung ano ang meron sa amin ni Zen. He doesn’t deserve to be hidden or anything. Hinihintay ko lang din po kung kailan handa si Zen.”

Napapangiti ako sa bawat salitang lumalabas sa kanyang bibig.

“Sir, I’m a Suldua. Alam ko ang matagal nang alitan ng ating pamilya pero totoo po ang nararamdaman ko kay Zen. At uunahan ko na po kayo, kung sasabihin n’yo pong layuan ko ang anak ninyo. I will apologize in advance, sir. I cannot do it. I love him with all my heart. I love him not because he’s carrying our child, but because of how brave he is. I didn’t fall for him because of how he looks. I love him because he makes me do things I never thought I could do. And I will fight for him, even if it means turning my back on my family.”

“E-Ezequil,” I uttered.

Tumingin siya sa akin. “I love you so much, my queen.”

Tumango ako. Akmang hahalik ako sa kanya nang maramdaman ko ang mga matang nakatingin sa amin. I recoiled beside Ezequil.

“But you have a fiancée, Brixx Ezequil.” Evren’s thick voice cut through the air.

“Yes, we heard about it.” si Ehann.

“May balak ka bang gawing the other man ang kapatid namin?” Matapang na saad ni Evren.

“No,” mabilis na umiling si Ezequil.

Parang ako ang nahilo sa kanyang pag-iling.

“I already talked to her and ended whatever we had. Besides, I wasn’t even aware of the engagement — it was arranged by my father and her family.” Paliwanag ni Ezequil.

Napahilamos si Daddy sa kanyang palad. Parang problemado siya.

“Hijo, kung anuman ang meron kayo ng anak namin, irerespeto ko iyon. Nabigla kami… sobra pero kung saan sasaya si Zen. Irerespeto ko at… susuportahan ko.” Ani Papadad. “Just promise us that you’ll protect him and always be true to him.”

“I will… madame.”

Natawa si Papadad.

“Masyado namang pormal ang madame. Kung komportable ka pwede mo akong tawaging Tita o kung hindi naman ay—”

“I’m fine with it po!” Mabilis na putol ni Ezequil kay Papadad.

Ngingiti na sana ako roon nang biglang magsalita si Daddy. Nakatuon lang ang kanyang mga mata sa sahig.

“I can’t accept this.”

“Love,” alma ni Papadad.

“Daddy,” ani ko naman.

Nag-angat ng tingin si Daddy sa akin.

“I just can’t give my rainbow princess to you, young man.” Tiim bagang na saad ni Daddy.  “Especially that you’re a son of my rival. However,” humina ang boses ni Daddy. Nanlambot ang titig ni Daddy sa akin. “…I can see how my princess looks at you. My daughter, Esther—was right. We can provide everything and spoil Zen, but we cannot give him the happiness that you bring to him. At ayokong ako ang maging dahilan ng pagkalungkot niya. Fuck… this is really hard for me, but I’ll try to be civil with you, Ezequil Suldua. And promise me that you won’t let your evil of a father touch even a strand of my princess’s hair. Because if that happens, you’ll be crawling back home with your bones ruined.”

“I promise, sir! Thank you so much!”

“Huwag na kayong patago kung magkita ha. P-pwede kang pumunta rito, hijo. O kung gusto mong dalhin si Zen sa bahay mo, ayos lang naman. Kung saan kayo komportable.” Dagdag ni Papadad.

I thought the night was over, but then Zhuri and Kuya Zy arrived. Zhuri almost launched a punch at Ezequil, but thankfully, Ehann and Evren were able to stop her. Kuya Zy had the same reaction as Daddy—he was still skeptical and didn’t fully trust Ezequil.

The night dragged on because of it. But despite everything, I’m happy. They didn’t trust Ezequil that much because of his background. However, what matters to me right now is that I didn’t keep anything from them.

Masaya na ako na nakakapasok na ng bahay si Ezequil. Sa paglabas at pasok ni Ezequil sa bahay may inspections. I wanted to protest about it but Ezequil refrain me from doing so. Naiintindihan niya raw ang ginagawa ng family ko.

“I think I lost my shirt. Have you seen it? Iyong tshirt na suot ko no’ng umakyat ako sa puno. I remember taking it off pero nakalimutan ko kung saan ko siya nalagay.”

It’s already been days at ngayon niya pa hahanapin ang shirt na iyon? Nandito siya sa kwarto ko. Nasa tabi ko! Sinuot ko sa isang unan ko at iyon ang niyayakap ko pagtulog! Nakakahiya nga pero hindi kasi ako nakakatulog kapag hindi ko ito naamoy!

“I-I don’t know. Baka nasa laundry mo.” Pagsisinungaling ko. Nahihirapan akong aminin sa kanya na kinuha ko ito. Nahihiya ako na baka inisipin niyang minamanyak ko siya! “Bakit mo naman hinahanap iyon? Can’t you just buy some shirts? God! Isang shirt lang iyon!”

“Oh, right.”

Nang marinig ko iyon ay nakahinga ako ng maayos.

“Anyways, can I come in your house? I’ll fetch you. Ipagpaalam din kita kung pwede na dito ka sa bahay ko magdinner at… mag-overnight.”

“Of course, you can.” Pagpapaunlak ko sa kanya.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit, baby. I love you.”

“T-thank you… I-I mean… I love you rin.”

I heard his suppressed laugh. Pinatayin ko na lang siya ng tawag! Inis kong tinapon ang telepono ko.

Kinuha ako ang unan kung saan ko sinuot ang kanyang shirt. Amoy Ezequil pa rin ito. Nakakasuka nga tingnan kasi itim ang kulay pero gusto ko kasi ang amoy! Pinanggigilan ko ang unan at saka pinagsusuntok!

“Nakakainis ang owner mo! Pasalamat talaga siya na mahal ko siya!” sabi ko sa walang malay na unan. Kalaunan ay niyakap ko naman ito.

Hay! Bakit ba kasi gusto ni baby ang amoy ng daddy niya? Arrghh! Ggrrr!

---

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CHAPTER 27

Chapter 27

Binuksan ni Ezequil ang pinto at saka ako pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Kakapasok ko palang sa bahay niya pero kitang-kita ko na ang mga pink kong gamit sa bahay niya. Pati iyong mga furniture ng bahay na p-in-urchase niya kasi nagreklamo ako sa kulay.

Very contrasting kasi talaga ang favorite color namin ni Ezequil. Pink at black! The colors pink and black may seem to contrast a lot, but when placed side by side, they complement each other. Their differences don’t make them look bad—in fact, it feels like their colors uplift one another.

And it was just like us. Ezequil had brought so much into my life. I thought he was going to take away my brightness. But no—I shared some of my color with his world. And now, we’re even.

Ezequil and I both have things within ourselves that need fixing. We have issues that must be addressed and problems yet to face in this relationship of ours. I just hope neither of us lets go of the rope that binds us.

I’m already aware of the realities of relationships. There will always be temptations around. But it always depends on the people—because committing sin is a choice.

“We’ll be sharing a bed again. Finally!” Ezequil breathed as he guided me toward the kitchen.

On our way here, he mentioned that he cooked something for me. Excited siyang matikman ko ang kanyang luto. Kasi sa totoo lang sa bawat punta ko rito sa bahaya niya; aaminin kong nilo-look forward ko ang mga luto niya. They’re not that special. His cooking skills aren’t top-notch, but for me, it’s already delicious.

Thinking about the food he cooks makes me salivate.

Kaya ganito rin ang reaksyon niya kasi kanina kausap niya si Daddy. Pinagpaalam niya ako na rito ako matutulog sa bahay niya.

“I don’t want to share a bed with you!” I snapped at him.

“Baby,” he groaned.

“Baka black na naman ang sheets mo!” I complained. Of course, I’ve been to his bedroom a couple of times. He bought pink sheets for me. However, he keeps changing the sheets on his bed.

“It’s pink, Zen. I knew you’d say that, that’s why I already changed the master’s bedroom sheets to pink,” he said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and carefully dropped myself onto the chair. My mouth watered when Ezequil took out the food he was talking about earlier in the car!

Nasa tatlong putahi ang mga iyon. At kahit hindi ko pa sila natitikman ay naglalaway na ako. Tingin ko nga wala na akong pakielamn kung ano ang lasa ng mga no’n. Mukha pa lang kasi no’n ay nakakatakam na. Idagdag pa ag amoy no’n. 

“We’ll share a bed, okay?” Paniniguro niyang tanong sa akin bago ako hainan.

Prinsesang-prinsesa na ba, Zenver? Taray mo naman, bakla!

“Oo na! Baka hindi mo ako pakainin kapag hindi ako pumayag eh!” Patuya ko sa kanya.

Ezequil pouted his lips. I almost gagged!

I was so engrossed with the food in front of me. It was too hard to resist! It smelled so good, and I wanted it all in my tummy right now!

I giggled as I took my first bite.

Arghh! I inwardly groaned as I chewed the food in my mouth. Halos tumirik ang mata ko!

“Okay ba?”

I opened my eyes and bobbed my head a couple of times at Ezequil. His lips curved in triumph.

“Let me feed you.” Alok niya naman at hinayaan ko siya. Hindi ako sanay na nagpapa-baby masyado. Kay Papadad lang ako nagpapalambing kaso hindi ko naman mahindian ang lalaking ito!

“Ikaw kumain ka rin.”

Nakakahiya naman na siya ang nagluto tapos hindi niya matitikman ito!

“Mamaya na. Kayo muna ni baby.”

Natikom ko ang aking bibig at kinagat ang loob ng bibig sa pagpipigil na huwag ngumiti. Shit! Kinikiliti talaga ako ng kilig!

I’ve never knew I would be this dependent on Ezequil. If I ever got the chance to tell my younger self that I’d end up this clingy and reliant on him, I’d probably throw up and laugh my ass off.

I never saw myself being with someone like this—especially Ezequil. But right now, I feel like my life is somehow connected to his.

Pinaakyat ko na naman si Ezequil ng mangga matapos naming kumain. Habang nagbabalat siya sa mangga ay tumunog naman ang telepono ko sa aking bulsa.

I fished my phone out of my pocket and almost dropped it when I saw Papa Owell’s name flashing on the screen.

Lately, I’ve been busy with my pregnancy. Hindi naman napapadalaw si Papa Owell sa bahay kaya hindi ko rin ito masabi sa kanya. Kahit si Papa Pike wala iyong alam. They’re also busy with Keira. Gumawa kasi iyon ng komosyon sa bahay ni Kuya Zy eh.

“P-papa, hi!”

Nilayo ko sa aking mukha ang telepono at kumaway sa camera. Video call kasi siya kaya naman nakikita ko si Papa. And I couldn’t miss how Papa Owell’s eyebrows raised—almost reaching his hairline!

I unconsciously swallowed as I felt a small lump starting to form in my throat.

“Iyan lang ba ang sasabihin mo sa akin, Zenver? Oo, favorite kitang inaanak pero may limitasyon iyon. At may narinig akong balita tungkol  sa’yo.” Nakataas ang kilay na wika ni Papa Owell.

Basta talaga mga chismis ang bilis kumalat.

My palm turned icy.

“Narinig kong buntis ka, Zen.” Untag ni Papa.

Nanahimik na lang ako.

“Hindi mo pala nagamit ang mga advices ko sa’yo noon, inaanak. Pero, pero, pero… totoo ba itong narinig ko na ang nakabuntis sa’yo ay kalaban ninyo?”

Hinabaan ko sa aking nguso si Papa bago tumango.

“Hindi mo nga nagamit ang mga tinuro ko noon, Zen. Ano bang hitsura ng lalaking iyan at bakit bumuka ka? Was he worth it? Ano? Malaki ba ang burat? Mataba—”

“Papa!” Awat ko na sa kanya. Ito na naman kasi ang bibig niyang walang preno!

Namumula na ako rito sa kabila ng malakas na aircon!

“Baby?”

Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Ezequil nang bigla siyang magsalita. Before I could speak, Papa Owell’s voice roared.

“Tang ina! Sino ’yan? Iyan ba ang lalaki mo, Zenith Verniz?!”

My teeth buried to my lips. Binalik ko ang aking mata sa screen at kita ko ang mapanuring titig ni Papa Owell sa akin.

H-He was just a houseboy, Papa,“ I lied, crossing my fingers.

“Ako pa talaga lolokohin mo, Zenver? Kilala ko lahat ng may tarub d’yan sa bahay ninyo! Hindi ko pa naririnig ang boses na iyon sa bahay ninyo kahit kailan!”

Malamang hindi maririnig ni Papa iyon kasi isang beses pang nakapasok sa bahay namin si Ezequil. Suldua ang lalaki kaya malamang ’di makakatapak sa bahay!

Ezequil came to me with a plate of peeled mangoes in his hand.

“S-sorry, Papa.”

I saw Papa Owell’s long sigh. “Matanda ka na, Zen. Malamang aabot ka talaga sa puntong ito— kayo ng triplets. Si Zyhro nga pakiramdam ko handa na ring magpakasal kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung ikaw rin.”

Yes, Ezequil and I may be on good terms right now, and of course, we’ve somehow been able to take our relationship to the next level. Kahit papaano ay tanggap siya ng parents ko. Okay ang parents ko sa aming dalawa. But how about his father?

Maayos kami ni Ezequil ngayon at mahal namin ang isa’t isa. There’s no question about that. However, marriage is another thing—something we’re not thinking about right now. Oo nabanggit niya naman ang kasal pero mukhang dala lang iyon sa bugso ng damdamin niya.

Naramdaman ko si Ezequil na tumabi sa akin. I really don’t know if it’s because of my pregnancy, but whenever he’s around, his presence calms me down.

I glanced back at my phone before looking at Ezequil.

“What?” he mouthed.

Bahagya kong nilayo ang telepono para makita si Ezequil sa tabi ko. Nagpipigil ako sa aking hininga at kinakagat ang labi. Sa bawat segundo lumilipas na walang reaksyon si Papa Owell ay mas lalong lumalakas ang kabog ng puso ko. The pumping of my blood reached my ears, making me almost numb to my surroundings.

“My queen,” Ezequil said gently, his hand reaching for mine on top of the countertop.

“Hayst! Ito ba, Zen?”

I slowly moved my head up and down.

“Can’t blame you.” ani Papa Owell na may malaking ngiti sa kanyang labi. Even though we were only talking on screen, I could see how Papa Owell’s eyes softened as he watched me with Ezequil. The relief in his eyes when he saw me nodding was clearly visible on his face.

Kahit na hindi kami personal na nag-uusap ni Papa Owell ramdam kong masaya rin siya para sa akin.

Hinila ko ng konti si Ezequil. Nginuso ko ang screen ng telepono ko. Bahagya siyang yumuko. 

“Hello,  sir—”

“Madame, pogi!” Pagputol ni Papa Owell kay Ezequil. 

Nagpanic ng konti si Ezequil kaso humagalpak ng tawa si Papa Owell sa kabilang linya, dahilan para matigilan ang lalaki. 

“Biro lang, hijo!” Pagbawi naman Papa.

“Ezequil, siya ang Papa Owell ko. Kilala mo naman si Papa Pike, di ba?” Tumango siya. “Kapatid siya ni Papa Pike. Isa siya sa mga nakasaksi habang lumalaki kaming tatlo ni Kuya Zy at Zhuri. At isa si Papa Owell sa pinaka-importanteng tao sa buhay ko.”

Bumaling naman ako kay Papa Owell na napapalabi.

“Papa Owell, this is Ezequil… he is the one who impregnated me and he is… my current boyfriend…”

Oh god! Wrong choice of word!

“Baby, what do you mean current?”

I grinned at him. “I’m just kidding. Akala ko hindi mo mapapansin since gulat na gulat ka d’yan sa presensya ng Papa Owell ko.”

He blatantly kissed my hand in front of Papa Owell.

“I’m very keen and observant about everything you do and say, Zen.”

I was about to refute his statement when Papa Owell’s voice cut through.

“Tama na ’yan! Mga walang awa talaga sa akin. Sa harap ko pa talaga kayo naglalandian!”

“Oh, sorry, madame.”

“Just call him papa or tito as well.” I elbowed him.

Muling tumingin sa screen si Ezequil at ngumiti kay Papa Owell. 

“It’s nice to know you, Tito.”

Umirap pa si Papa.

“Ayusin mo ang inaanak ko, Ezequil o kung anuman ang apilyedo mo. Prinsesa ’yan sa bahay nila…”

“And he’s a queen in my house, Tito. I always treat him like a queen.”

“Mabuti nang magkalinawan tayo, hijo. Saka masyadong maselan ang mga bearer. I hope you’ll always in Zen’s side.”

“Always, Tito.”

“Teka,” pahabol pa ni Papa Owell. “Wala akong paki kung anong klaseng tao ka, hijo. Tandaan mo, kahit ang nag-iisang Maranzanong Tunay hindi ko inatrasan iyon. Kaya, ikaw, huwag mo akong subukan.”

“There’s no need for that, Tito. But, I’ll always bear that in mind.”

Pagkatapos naman ng tawag ay kinain ko na ang mangga ko. Unlike no’ng una na inamoy-amoy ko lang.

Kinagabihan pagkatapos ng dinner namin ni Ezequil ay tumungo kami sa kanyang kwarto upang makapagpahinga. Natuwa ako nang makita ko ang pink na kama.

“I told you. It’s pink.”

Nilingon ko siya. Ngumisi ako.

“You wanna use the bathroom? I already put some of your essentials there. There’s also a towel for you, and everything is in your favorite color,” Ezequil said.

“Ikaw? Hindi ka magbabanyo?”

Lumapit siya sa akin at walang hiyang yumakap sa baywang ko.

“Gusto mong sabay tayo?”

Kinulamos ko ang mukha niya sabay tulak. Napapadaibg siya sa kalmot ko.

“Ayaw! Ayoko!”

Natatawa niya akong pinakawalan. Nauna ako sa kanya sa banyo. Pagkatapos kong maglinis sa katawan ay humarap muna ako sa salamin. Nagtagal naman ang mata ko sa salamin nang makita kong unti-unti nang umuumbok ang t’yan ko. Hinaplos ko ito.

At sa ganong akto ay bumukas naman ang pinto. Nagtama ang mata namin ni Ezequil bago bumaba ang mata niya sa kamay ko na nasa aking t’yan.

Ezequil took a long stride toward me.

“What’s wrong? Does something hurt? What’s wrong with our baby?” he asked worriedly, his eyes darting back and forth between my face and my tummy.

Umiling ako.  “Wala. It’s just that my baby bump na ako.” Kinikilig kong saad sa kanya. “Wanna see it?”

Magana siyang tumango.

Pangiti-ngiti kong itinaas ang shirt ko hanggang sa makita niya ang baby bump ko.

I gasped when Ezequil suddenly bent his knee before me and planted soft kisses on my baby bump. When he looked up, his eyes were filled with unshed tears.

My heart leapt with so much joy.

“Thank you so much, Zen. Thank you for carrying my child. I may not have grown up in a good household… but I promise to be a good father and a good partner to you.” He dropped his gaze to my baby bump. “Hindi mo mararanasan ang dinanas ko sa sarili kong ama. I will be a better father.”

A warm feeling spread in my heart upon hearing his words. Masuyo akong tumango kay Ezequil. Yumuko ako upang pantayan siya sa pagkakaluhod sa harapan ko. Kinulong ko ang mukha niya bago ko siya hinalkan.

“You will, Ezequil. I know you’ll be a good father—I can see it. The way you take care of me and look after me says it all.”

Mula sa pagkain, sa mga cravings ko at kahit sa pagtulog ko (though hindi kami magkasama at via video call lang) sinasamahan niya ako. He was talking to me until I got sleep. Kahit minsan nagiging nonsense na ang pinag-uusapan namin.

Bago kami natulog ni Ezequil ay minasahe niya muna ang binti ko bago humiga.

I snuggled my face into his chest as I closed my eyes. Nakatabi ko na naman siyang matulog maliban no’ng magkasama kami sa Palawan. Kaso ngayon parang iba sa pakiramdam. Magaan ang loob ko at ang sarap matulog sa tabi niya.

At nagising naman ako sa aking masarap na tulog dahil sa sigawan na naririnig ko mula sa labas.

“You’re a fool! Stupid! Bakit hindi mo masunod ang inuutos ko sa’yo, Ezequil! How many times do I have to tell you that you’re going to marry Britta Morigan?” Bailey Suldua’s voice echoed through the walls.

“We already talked about it, Pa! Ayokong magpasakal sa kanya. I love someone else, Pa! Can I just do what I want for once? All my life… fuck! All my life, I’ve dedicated it to following your orders! I’ve been a good follower ever since. Kahit labag na sa loob ko, ginagawa ko pa rin ang mga utos mo. Pero ito lang… ito lang, Pa. Just give me this one. Allow me to marry the one I love!”

Napahawak ako sa hamba ng pinto. Batid ko ang gigil sa boses ni Ezequil. 

“I plan to settle, Pa, but not with Britta—”

“Because of that Maranzano, Ezequil? Is that it?”

“Pa,” Ezequil’s voice trembled.

“Tanga! Ang tanga-tanga mo, Ezequil! Gagaya ka ba sa akin!?” Galit na bwelta ni Bailey.

“No! Dammit! Hinding-hindi ako gagaya sa’yo, Pa. Because,  I love Zen. We both love each other—”

Naputol si Ezequil dahil sa mala-demonyong tawa ng ama niya. Iniwan kong bukas ang pinto. Bumalik ako sa silid ni Ezequil at hinalughog ang drawers niya.

“Gagamitin ka lang din n’yan, Ezequil. Kung magpapabulag ka d’yan. Gamitin mo na lang din ang batang iyon!”

“And that will never happen, Pa…”

“Maranzano iyon, Ezequil. Malamang gagamitin ka lang din no’n. At kapag tapos na sa’yo ay iiwan ka. Ang bobo mo, Ezequil. Pwede kang magpakasal kay Britta at gamitin ang—”

“Kung magagawa niyan iyan.” Singit ko.

Ezequil turned to me in a split second. His face turned paper white, and he briskly walked toward me.

“Baby, go back to our room.” Aligaga niyang untag.

“No. Let’s face him right now. Hindi rin naman natin matatakasan ang ama mo.”

“Baby,”

Gamit ang bakante kong kamay ay hinawakan ko ang mukha niya. Humalik ako sa pisngi niya. Napangisi naman ako nang makita ko kung papaano nanlaki ang mata ni Bailey Suldua. 

“Pa—”

Paharap palang si Ezequil sa ama niya nang makita ko itong may binunot ito sa likod niya. At sabay nga naming itinaas ang aming kamay na may hawak na baril.

My arm was stretched forward without even shaking a bit. I aimed my pistol at Bailey’s head. I knew I wouldn’t miss because he was just a few steps away from me.

Kinalabit ko ang gatilyo. Walang kurap ko siyang tiningnan. 

“My queen,” usal ni Ezequil at hinarang ang katawan sa harap ko.

“What the hell did you do to my son, you son of a bitch!?”

Tsk! Son of a bitch, parang hindi na-obssess sa Papadad ko. Inggit pa sa daddy ko!

Gago!

Sinilip ko siya. Hindi ko binababa ang baril. Alinman sa amin ni Ezequil ang barilin. Uuwi siyang may balang nakabaon sa kanyang ulo. I swear to God!

“What did I do? Simple. Minahal ko siya. Isang bagay na hindi mo nagawa sa kanya at hindi mo magagawa kung ipuputok mo ’yang baril mo.” Dahil babaha ng dugo kapag nagpaputok siya!

---

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CHAPTER 28

Chapter 28

“Pa, put the gun down!” Malakas na sigaw ni Ezequil.

“What? I will kill that bastard!” Bailey retorted. His hand was trembling with so much anger. He was throwing a deadly stare at me, but I didn’t flinch.

However, I was shaking too. My knees wanted to give out already, but I needed to stand firm. I felt like I had to stand not just for myself, but also for Ezequil and for our baby. Because from the very beginning, I knew this relationship wouldn’t be easy. But I learned to fight. I learned that not everything you want will automatically be presented to you. Sometimes, you need to fight for it. Sometimes, you need to find it yourself.

Nasanay man akong lahat nakukuha ko at lahat ng gusto ay lagi kong nakukuha. Ngunit ibang usapan na kasi ito. I fell in love with someone who came from our family’s rival clan.

“Then you have to kill me first!” Ezequil argued firmly, keeping me behind him. Siguro kung kaya niya lang takpan ang buong katawan ko ay ginawa na niya maprotektahan lang ako.

My eyes widened when I saw Bailey pointing a gun at Ezequil. Yet, Ezequil remained unfazed. It was like he was used to it-as if it wasn’t new to him, his own father pointing a gun at his head.

“You want me to blow that foolish head of yours?!” Bailey said through gritted teeth. He took a step forward in our direction, so my grip tightened on the pistol.

“I won’t allow you to hurt him, Pa.”

Bailey let out a sarcastic laugh, like he was losing his mind. Parang naiiyak na nga siya kakatawa. Animo’y may nakakatawa sa sinabi ni Ezequil sa kanya.

My father wasn’t perfect. Tyson Maranzano was far from being one, but he wasn’t as crazy as this person. Una pa sigurong patayin ni Dad ang kanyang sarili bago niya kami matuonan ng baril.

But, Bailey Suldua was insane. No’ng insidente pa lang sa Palawan, iyong pagbugbog niya kay Ezequil na halos iwan na lang ito ng katiting na buhay. Masasabi kong wala talaga siyang awa kahit sa anak niya. Kung makaturing siya kay Ezequil ay parang hindi niya ito anak. Parang utusan niya ito.

“When did you fall this low, Ezequil? Bakit hinayaan mo ang sarili mong mahulog sa ganito? This is madness!” Bailey Suldua’s eyes turned bloodshot. He may have a handsome face, but it seemed like he suddenly transformed into someone possessed-like pure evil.

“No, Pa! This isn’t madness at all-this is my happiness. I’m happy being in love. I feel alive again because of Zen.” All of a sudden, Ezequil’s voice trembled.

I swallowed hard.

“When Mom died… I felt like half of me died too, Pa. Kasi pakiramdam ko siya lang ang meron ako, siya lang ang may gustong mabuhay ako. But… when I saw Zen, parang binuhay niya muli ang namatay kong puso-ang namatay na parte ng puso ko. Despite knowing that he’s our enemy, my heart still beats for him. He gave me another reason to live in the midst of the darkness in my life. He became my light-the one who gave me the vision to keep walking the dark path I was on. And when I’m with him… I know I won’t be alone, Pa,” Ezequil declared.

Every word he said hit my heart like a truck. As much as I wanted to hug him and comfort him, I couldn’t be complacent in front of his father.

“Is this what you’ve become, Ezequil?” Tunog disappointed na saad ni Bailey. “Love is foolishness, Ezequil. Love makes you weak. Love makes you suffer! I’m telling you!”

“You’re wrong, Pa.” Kaagad na sumbat ni Ezequil sa kanyang ama.

I feel like a proud partner to him. I’m so proud that he was able to voice his thoughts to his father. I’m so glad that he’s no longer holding himself back.

“I don’t want to invalidate what you feel, Pa. But in my case, love makes me strong. This emotion brings out the best version of myself. It stirs emotions I never knew I was capable of feeling! And I know it isn’t foolishness. It’s not weakness either-and most of all, it doesn’t make me suffer. Instead, this feeling makes me feel alive and want to live.”

Bigong umiling si Bailey kay Ezequil at dumiin ang kamay sa pagkakahawak niya sa kanyang baril. Kumabog ng malakas ang dibdib ko.

“I owe my life to you, Pa. Pero sapat na naman siguro ang mga ginawa ko para sa’yo upang mabayaran ko iyon. I’m sorry that I can’t follow your order this time. Marriage for convenience isn’t for me.”

Naalarma naman ako nang bigla niyang pagbarilin ang mga vases na naka-dislay sa bahay. Kahit ang mga naka-hang na mamahaling paintings ay hindi niya iyon pinalampas.

Napuno ng usok ang buong bahay, ang matapang na amoy ng pulbura, at nagliparan ang mga pira-pirasong gamit. Hindi ako gumalaw sa kinatatayuan. I was just waiting for Bailey to aim at us or shoot at us before I pulled my trigger, but no bullet came our way.

Sa pagpapaputok ni Bailey sa kanyang baril ay naubusan siya ng ammo.

Parang nanghihina niyang binaba ang kanyang baril. Tumingin siya sa amin ni Ezequil. Hindi ko maintindihan ang mga titig niya sa amin. Parang nanghihinayang siya, bigo, may lungkot sa kanyang mga mata, at pait.

“I… I can’t accept this,” he said, his voice heavy.

“If you can’t accept this, Pa… then at least respect what I want-respect what we wanted.”

Yukong umiling si Bailey, tila hindi niya pa rin maarok ang pinagsasabi ng kanyang anak.

“I don’t fucking know how I’m supposed to swallow this, Ezequil. It feels like you’re asking me to take back what I already spat out!” Ang tanging sinabi ni Bailey bago niya kami tinalikuran.

When the door shut, that’s when I dropped my hand. Parang walang lakas ang kamay ko pero mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa baril.

Ezequil turned on his heels and wrapped his arms around me. I felt his hand move to where I was holding the gun and dismantle the ammo. The bullets clattered on the floor.

Binitiwan ko ang baril at hinayaan itong mahulog sa sahig bago ko niyakap si Ezequil ng mahigpit. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero basta na lang lumandas ang mga luha ko sa gitna ng yakapan namin.

“I was so damn scared, baby. You almost gave me a heart attack!” he gritted. He gently pushed me and eyed me from head to toe. “Are you alright? How are you feeling? Are you feeling nauseous?” he inquired, his eyes softening.

“I’m fine. I just feel a little bit dizzy.”

Binuhat niya naman ako tungo sa isang sofa. Makalat na ang bahay at puno ng bubog ang sahig. Bwesit kasi ang ama niya eh. But honestly, I was so surprised that he didn’t shoot me or Ezequil. Sa temper na meron siya talagang nakakagulat ang lahat! Nakita ko na kung gaano siya ka-brutal pagdating kay Ezequil. Kaya naman nagtataka ako kung bakit hindi niya kami binaril sa galit niya kanina.

Lumuhod si Ezequil sa harapan ko.

“I’ll just get you a water, okay? Anything you want? Please, baby, tell me.”

Hinaplos ko ang mukha niya.

“Brixx Ezequil, breath.” I commanded but in sweet tone.

Mariin siyang pumikit at kinuha ang kamay ko. Dinala niya sa kanyang labi ang aking kamay at mariin itong hinagkan.

“I’m really fine, Ezequil. Our baby and I are both, okay. Please, relax. Stop panicking. Wala na naman ang father mo.” ani ko sa kanya.

Bailey Suldua may be your father, Ezequil, but I won’t allow him to hurt me or our child, okay? Not even you. You’re mine, Ezequil. Kaya hindi ko rin hahayaang saktan ka niya,“ I said, rubbing his cheek with my free thumb. “I was just waiting for him to make the first move-but thankfully, he didn’t.”

Malalim ang naging paghinga niya. “Papaano mo nahanap ang pistol ko?”

Ngumisi ako sa kanya. “Sa mga drawers mo. Kinalkal ko sila. Narinig ko kasi ang sigawan ninyo kanina. Kasi naalala ko ang ginawa niya sa’yo sa Palawan. I saw how merciless your father is. That’s why I need a weapon too.”

“Baby, what you did earlier was so dangerous! Papa could have shot you, and it might have endangered you and our baby!”

I nodded at him. I know where his fear is coming from. Of course, he knows his father very well-how cruel and evil he is-because he experienced it firsthand.

However, I just want him to know that I’m with him. That this time, he’s not alone anymore. Kung noon wala siyang malalapitan, ngayon nandito na ako. Gusto ko lang ding malaman niya na ngayon may kasangga na siya sa lahat.

I planted a long, wet kiss on his lips. His mouth remained closed and firm.

“I know. I know what I’m doing, Ezequil. But I want you to understand that this is our fight. You’re not alone. We’ll fight for this relationship together. Mmm?” I explained. “Ayokong isipin ng ama mo na hindi ko kayang ipagtanggol ang sarili ko. Ayokong maliitin niya tayo at gipitin tayo. We will not allow anyone to use each other’s weaknesses to trap us.”

Kinabig niya ako at hinalkan sa labi. Naduwal naman ako bigla. Mabilis siyang tumakbo sa kusina at pagkabalik niya ay may dala na siyang stainless na basin at tubig.

“S-sa banyo na lang ako,” sabi ko habang nakatakip sa bibig ko ang aking kamay.

“No, madaming bubog sa sahig. Baka mapaano ka pa. Just use the basin if you’re going to throw up. I’ll clean the house and cook our breakfast, okay? While waiting for me, call Tito Tyson and Tita Cassidy.”

So much had happened, but I didn’t tell my family about it. Hindi naman grabe ang nangyari at kaya pa naman namin ni Ezequil. I don’t want to spark another rift between both families. Because if my family finds out about the incident, I know they won’t allow me to be with Ezequil. Iisipin nilang delikado ako sa bahay ni Ezequil.

It’s been a week since the incident, and so far, Bailey Suldua has gone silent and hasn’t bothered us anymore.

“I will be proposing to Arth.” Anunsyo ni Kuya Zy isang gabi habang nasa hapag kami.

Napalabi lang ako. Si Zhuri naman ay ngumisi lang na parang inaasahan na niya iyon. Ang tatlo naman, sina Ehann, Evren, at Esther ay binati kaagad si Kuya. Wala pa nga eh!

Parang kailan lang na parang ang distant na tao ni Kuya Zy. Masyado siyang strict tingnan at seryoso. Kaso nang dumating si Arth ay parang nag-iba siya. Unti-unti ay naging open siya. Iba rin talaga ang epekto ni Maximilian Arthur Lacsamana kay Kuya.

Napaigtad ako nang may bumalot na isang makapal na tela sa balikat ko. Jacket pala iyon.

“Kuya,” ani ko nang makita si Kuya Zy.

Tumabi siya sa akin dito sa kinauupuan kong lounger. Tumingala rin siya sa kalagitan na may iilang bituin.

“Aren’t they pretty?” he murmured, looking at the stars.

“They are.”

“Pero mas maraming bituin noon sa Sagada.”

Napatango ako kay Kuya.

“Parang kailan lang, kuya, ’no? Noon, takot na takot pa tayo kay Dad. Galit tayo sa kanya dahil sa nagawa niya kay Papadad. But look at us right now, ibang iba na. You now rule the underground society. Ano kaya ang nangyari kung naging duwag noon si Papadad at nagtago tayo kay Dad?” Saysay ko habang inaalala ang simple naming buhay noon sa Sagada.

Hindi biro ang naging buhay namin noon.

“We won’t be this happy, Zen. Baka wala ang tatlo. Baka hindi ganito ka-saya si Papadad.”

“At wala kang papakasalan ngayon dahil hindi mo makikilala si Arth.” Sabi ko sabay lingon kay Kuya. Nakatingala pa rin siya.

“Ako muna ang magpapakasal, ha. Sa sunod ka na. I still don’t trust your man, Zen.” Baling niya sa akin.

Umingos ako kay Kuya. “Kuya! Ezequil is a good man!”

“Whatever!”

“Ehh!” Inis kong untag pero niyakap lang niya ako bigla.

“I’m trying my best, Zen. I just need time as well. But I’m happy for you, too. I just hope that man won’t hurt you!”

Dumating naman si Zhuri at nakisali sa yakapan naming tatlo! Parang kagaya lang no’ng dati. Noon at hanggang ngayon ako ang pinakamaliit sa amin. At laging naaasar.

Nauna ako kay Zhuri at Kuya Zy sa loob. Malamig na kasi.

Paakyat ako sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay namin nang mag-vibrate ang telepono ko sa bulsa. Kinuha ko ito at tiningnan. A text from an unknown number. As much as I didn’t want to open the message, something was whispering to me to open it.

Nang buksan ko ito ay muntik ko nang mabitiwan ang telepono ko! May larawan na pinadala sa akin. It was a photo of Ezequil chained to a chair, and he was bleeding. Before I could reply, the unknown number called me.

I swiped my phone to answer the call.

“Hi, Zenith Verniz!”

My vision suddenly turned red when I heard the familiar voice of a woman.

“What did you do?” I asked, my teeth grinding against each other.

“Chill, Zenver.” Tumawa pa ito. “I just invited Ez over to have dinner with me, but he didn’t want to. Pinilit ko lang siya… ng konti!”

“Damn you!” Mahina ngunit mariin kong untag.

“You want to save him? Come here, Zen. And don’t you dare bring anyone, or else… bang! You won’t see Ez’s head intact! Isn’t that nice?”

“Bitch!”

“Hindi rin naman siya magiging akin, eh. Mas mabuting… hindi rin siya mapunta sa iba!” She giggled like a madwoman!

I took long strides toward my room. I pressed a button beside my vanity, and my collection of guns and pink Barbies slowly appeared.

I clenched my fist. That Britta-I will make her remember me. Hinding-hindi niya makakalimutan ang taong susugod sa kanya na naka-pink! Sisiguraduhin kong kapag nakakita siya ng pink ay ako ang maaalala niya! I will hunt her down in my pink gear, even while she’s asleep!

---

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CHAPTER 29

Thank you so much for reading Pretty Little Savage. This is the final chapter of the story, and I truly appreciate you making it this far. Thank you for joining Ezequil and Zenver in their smooth yet slightly sassy journey. I hope to see you in my other works. I love you all!

Chapter 29

I wiped the sweat from my forehead. Despite the blasting aircon in my room, I couldn’t help but sweat at the thought of Ezequil in Britta’s hands.

Hindi kasi pumunta ngayon sa bahay si Ezequil kasi alam niyang may family dinner kami. He was invited, though, but he respectfully declined, thinking that the dinner would be awkward with his presence. So after dropping me off at our house in the morning, he went to work. He wasn’t only working for his father—he had also started his own business. That’s what I know.

I didn’t bother nagging him all day, thinking that he was still at work. Hindi rin naman ako nagtaka na hindi siya nagti-text o tumawag sa akin. Iniisip ko kasing nasa trabaho lang siya. Because lately I’ve been occupying most of his days. Ayokong isturbuhin siya sa kanyang trabaho ngunit ito pa ang nangyari!

Sinara ko ang duffel bag kung saan ko nilagay ang mga baril, ammo, ang isusuot ko, at ang iba ko pang kailangan. I never thought that I’d be using my collections in this kind of situation. Akala ko magiging palamuti na lang talaga sila sa silid ko.

Binuhat ko ito tungo sa aking kama at nagpalit ng damit. Nagsuot din ako ng pink na hoodie jacket at cotton pants.

“Zen? Where are you going?” Ang tanong ni Zhu sa akin nang mag-abot kami sa hallway. Mukhang kakaakyat niya lang. Sumilip ako sa likod niya at hindi ko nakita si Kuya Zy. 

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa sling ng duffel bag na dala ko. Mabigat talaga siya sa totoo lang. Ilang ammo ba naman ang dala ko plus ang baril na dala ko, bayonet, at ang isusuot ko mamaya. Ilang kilo rin siguro ito.

Zhuri’s eyes were fixed on my bag before she looked at me suspiciously. It was only right that I didn’t bother to change. Alam ko kasing may possibility na makita nila ako.

I smirked. “Pupuntahan ko si Ezequil… I mean pupunta ako sa bahay niya. Overnight in my boyfriend’s house, Zhu!”

Nanatili ang panunuring titig ni Zhuri sa akin.

I laughed.

“Aalis na ako.”

“Bakit hindi ka niya sinundo ngayon? Gabi na, Zen.”

“Galing pa iyon sa trabaho, Zhuri. Syempre,  hindi naman robot ang boyfriend ko para hindi maka-feel ng pagod!” I dismissed her.

“Then, ihahatid kita!”

“No! Kaya ko na, Zhuri. Matulog ka na lang para mabawasan iyang eyebags mo!” Agap ko sa plano niya.

“Zen,”

“Sige na! Bye!” Mabilis akong humalik sa kanyang pisngi at saka lumakad. Halos doblehin ko na ang aking hakbang pababa ng hagdan.

Napabuga naman ako ng isang malalim na hininga nang makasakay na ako sa kotse. Sumilip ako sa bahay namin ng isang beses bago binuhay ang makina ng sasakyan ko.

Honestly, I’m scared and nervous right now. My mind keeps drifting to Ezequil. Akala ko kapag tapos na naming harapin ang ama niya ay magiging maayos na. Tapos ngayon i-eksena na naman si Britta.

Talagang tama ang kutob ko. Tama ako na mukha lang iyong maamo pero iba ang takbo ng pag-iisip.

I pressed my foot on the brake when the traffic light turned red. The longer I waited, the more my heart drummed against my chest. Hindi ko napipirmi ang aking kamay. And the time passes by like a century. It feels excruciatingly long.

I glanced at my phone. It was on top of my duffel bag on the front seat. I picked it up and reviewed the pin address Britta sent me.

Nang mag-green ang traffic light ay muli kong pinaandar ang sasakyan at diniin ang paa sa accelerator. I saw that the place was quite far and located outside the city.

Saglit akong tumigil at itinabi ang sasakyan sa daan. Nasa gitna ako ng tahimik na lugar at mga puno ng kahoy lang ang nakikita ko.

Kinuha ko ang duffel bag na dala ko at naghubad para makapagbihis sa mas komportableng damit. I wore a pink jumpsuit paired with matching combat boots and leather gloves. Even my primary and secondary weapons were decked out in pink.. Lahat ng dala ko pati nga ang sunglasses ko ay pink. Granades, knieves, everything was in pink!

Sinabi ni Britta na huwag akong magdala ng tauhan pero hindi niya sinabing h’wag akong maghanda.

Ilang metro bago ako makarating sa tinext na lugar ni Britta ay tinigil ko ang kotse. Naglakad ako ng maingat papasok sa isang masukal na kagubatan. Hanggang sa makita ko ang isang abandonadong gusali. It was situated in an open field. In-assemble ko ang aking dalang drone at pinalipad ko iyon.

Sumandal ako sa isang puno. Ang ingay na naririnig ko ay mga kuliglig, ang marahang ihip ng hangin at ang nga tuyong dahon na naglilikha ng ingay kapag natatapakan. Sa pamamagitan ng drone ay nakita ko ang mga tauhan ni Britta na nagkalat sa labas. May lima sa likod at lima harap ng gusali at may lima rin sa loob. Hindi sila gumagalaw. Mukhang nag-aabang lang.

I brought night vision goggles with me, but under the full moon’s glow, I could see the surroundings clearly. This is my first time infiltrating enemy territory—and I’m doing it alone!

Mabilis kong natandaan ang mga lugar ng tauhan ni Britta. I assembled the sniper rifle I brought and attached a silencer to minimize the noise as much as possible. Then, I dropped to one knee and took aim at my first target through the scope. Dahil pabor sa akin ang mga tauhan niyang nasa likod ng gusali sila ang una kong tinarget.

Dahil hindi naman malapit ang mga tauhan sa isa’t isa. Wala silang kamalay-malay na iniisa ko na ang mga ito. I made sure to shoot them straight in the head.

“Cleared,” I whispered to myself once the backside was secured. I dashed toward the field, swift and silent. One by one, I eliminated Britta’s men stationed in front of the building—wringing their necks with precision and plunging my blade deep into their vital points.

“Ughh!” Tanging ungol lang ang nagawa ng lalaki bago siya nawalan ng buhay.

Humigop ako ng hangin matapos ligpitin ang sampung tauhan ni Britta. 

“Shit!” I uttered when I saw my pink gloves covered with blood.

Hinubad ko ito dahil nasusuka ako sa amoy!

There was no other way to enter the building except through the front door.

“Britta, please stop this!”

I froze mid-step as Ezequil’s voice rang out behind me. A surge of warmth rushed through my veins at the sound—familiar, real, alive.

“He’s safe. He’s alive,” I whispered to myself, barely believing the words as they left my lips.

“Stop this? Inisip mo sana iyan before you chose that fag!”

The clamp of my hand on my gun’s grip tightened.

“Britta! Don’t you dare call Zen that way!” Ezequil’s voice echoed throughout the place.

“If I dare, do you think you can do something? You’re tied to that chair and can’t even fight, Ez! If only you had chosen me over that little bitch!” The woman laughed. “I bet your little fag is trembling right now. And when he gets here… my men will kill him right in front of you, Ez!”

“I fucking swear to all saints, Britta. Kapag sinaktan mo si Zen… kahit babae ka, hindi kita sasantuhin! You’re crazy!”

“Because you made me do it! You’re bound to get married to me! And yet you broke it just for that—”

“It’s because I don’t like you! And I’m fucking thankful for that!”

Britta sneered. “Well then, let’s see if you and your little lover can get out of here alive.”

Fuck you, bitch! I shouted in my mind.

I looked around until I spotted a steel ladder on my right. I rushed to the rusting ladder so I could get a better view of the entire place. I think this used to be a factory warehouse—abandoned now. Kinakalawang na kasi ang mga bagay sa loob.

I saw Britta’s five men around, and I didn’t hesitate to fire at them using my pink HK416. As I successfully killed one of Britta’s men, everyone became alert.

“Shit! An enemy has infiltrated!” I-alerto ang mga tauhan!“ Sigaw ni Britta sa gitna ng pagpapaulan ng bala ng kanyang mga tauhan!

Ngumisi ako habang nakatago sa isang malapad na bakal!

“Ma’am, hindi na ma-contact ang ibang kasamahan ko.”

“Stupid! Tanga!” Britta shouted!

“Come out, you fool!”

Lumabas ako sa aking pinagtataguan at maingat na gumulong sa bakal na sahig bago nagpaulan ng bala!

One down!

Two down!

Dalawang tauhan na lang ni Britta ang natira. They were firing in my direction, but I was able to hide behind a nearby drum!

“Hanapin ninyo kung sino ang nakapasok! Patayin ninyo!” Hysterical na mando ni Britta.

I heard footsteps. I peered down and saw a man ascending the stairs I had climbed! Binaril ko ito at tumama iyon sa paa niya dahilan para gumulong siya pababa ng hagdan. I wasn’t content with it and continued firing at him until I saw him lose his life!

Bumunot ako ng ammo sa likod ko nang maubusan ako ng bala. Of course, I bring enough ammunition with me!

Kakapalit ko lang sa magazine sa baril ko nang paulanan ako ng bala. Kumalansing ng ingay ang mga bakal na natataman. It flared up and released a trail of smoke.

“Bwesit!”

Lumabas ako sa aking pinagtataguan at nagpaulan ng bala. My eyes widened slightly when I saw one of Britta’s men coming toward me. I rolled to the floor and fired three shots, one of which struck him in the forehead.

Tang ina! Muntik na ako roon!

Bumaba ako sa hagdanan. Tinapon ko ang aking baril sa tabi at pinulot ko ang isang tubo. Hinubad ko rin ang load-bearing equipment sa aking katawan dahil masyado silang mabigat.

Malakas kong tinampal ang kalapit na dingding gamit ang tubo!

“Who are you!?” Sigaw ni Britta, nanginginig ang kanyang boses.

Napangisi ako. “You asked for my presence, didn’t you?”

“Baby!” si Ezequil.

“Zenith Verniz?” Matalis na sigaw ni Britta.

“You hired the wrong man, Britta. Or maybe you underestimated my capability. Hindi mo ba naisip na anak ako ni Tyson Maranzano?”

I walked as if I were on a runway in my pink jumpsuit, dragging the metal pipe behind me, its harsh screech echoing as it scraped against the ground.

Nang makita ko ang pwesto ni Ezequil na nakatali sa isang silya. Napabuga ako ng hangin. Ngunit sumama ang mukha ko nang makita ko si Britta na aligagang nagpaikot-ikot at may hawak na handgun. Nanginginig.

“I’m here, bitch!” ani ko.

Mukhang nagulat si Britta at basta na lamang siya nagpaputok ng baril sa kung saang direksyon. Hanggang sa magtama ang mga mata namin.

I looked at her blankly and menacingly.

“Y-you’re a monster!”

I laughed humorlessly.

“Am I? You asked for this, Britta Morigan!”

Nanginginig ang kanyang kamay. Kahit na dalawang kamay na niya ang may hawak doon sa baril, hindi na niya ito maipirmi!

“Zen!” Pag-aalalang tawag ni Ezequil sa akin. Tinapunan ko lang siya ng saglit na titig bago mariing tumingin kay Britta.

Nagwawala si Ezequil sa kanyang pagkakatali pero mukhang mahigpit ang pagkakatali sa kanya.

All I can see right now is red! Seeing Ezequil’s head bleeding and his lips cut makes me want to butcher someone!

Britta shot me in the chest. I staggered back from the force of it. Thankfully, I was wearing a level III ballistic plates under my jumpsuit! Pero masakit pa rin ang impact no’n.

Napangiwi ako!

“Zen! Baby!” Halos maputol na ang litid sa leeg ni Ezequil kakasigaw.

Walang kabuhay-buhay kong inangat ang aking ulo. Britta keeps pressing her finger on the trigger, but she ran out of bullets!

Tumayo ako ng maayos. Naglakad ako tungo sa kanya.

“Don’t come near me, you monster!” Paghihisterya niya.

Ngumisi lang ako sa kanya at nang nasa tamang distansya na ako ay walang alingan ko siyang hinampas ng tubo sa tagiliran! Tumilapon ang kanyang katawan sa sahig at napaungol!

Ezequil kept calling me, but I was too occupied with Britta, who was squirming in pain on the floor.

Tinapon ko ang tubo at saka ko kinuha ang kutsilyo mula sa loob ng aking jumpsuit. Pinatihaya ko si Britta bago lumuhod.

I stabbed her shoulder, and her blood splashed onto my face. She screamed in pain.

“Y-You’re… crazy, Zenver. You’re a—a monster!”

“Am I?” I teased, as I buried my knife into her chest, deliberately missing her vitals.

“Y-You’re the craziest person… I’ve ever met!” she choked, spitting out blood.

I was about to carve another hole into Britta’s body when Ezequil’s voice roared—snapping me out of the darkness and hatred.

“Baby, please, stop it already!”

Lumingon ako kay Ezequil. His eyes were pleading. Dali-dali akong lumapit sa kanya at iniwan si Britta.

Naiyak ako. “They hurt you!”

“I’m fine, baby. Fuck! Why did you come here alone?” Problemado niyang sambit at tiningnan ako ng maigi.

“I’m here to save you!”

“I know, baby. But you were alone. I almost died seeing you exchange bullets with Britta’s men.”

“But I’m okay.”

Umiyak ako sa harap niya.

“Britta shot you. That was at close range.”

“I wore a vest.”

Bumuga siya ng hangin. Kinalagan ko siya gamit ang kutsilyong dala ko. Nagyakapan kami nang makawala siya.

“You will be my death, baby. Dammit! You shouldn’t endangered yourself for me.”

“Shut up!” Pagtatahimik ko sa kanya. “Let’s get out of here.” ani ko sa gitna ng yakapan namin.

“Okay,”

“I’m so tired.” Pagbi-baby talk ko sa kanya.

“Our baby?” His eyes fell on my tummy.

“We’re fine. Nag-ingat ako sa mga gulong kanina.” Pinanindigan ko ang pagbi-baby talk ko.

Humalik siya sa aking noo.

“I’ll just carry you. I know how tired you are.”

Binuhat ako ni Ezequil. Pinulot ko ang binti ko sa kanyang baywang at sinuportahan niya naman ang pang-upo ko.

“Ezequil!”

Kapwa kami nagulat ni Ezequil nang makita namin ang kanyang ama. Humahangos. Magulo ang buhok. Pawisan at nag-aabot ang hininga.

“Pa?”

“Goddammit! You’re safe!”

“Yeah, my baby saved me.” Malamig na wika ni Ezequil.

Tumingin sa akin si Bailey. Tumango lang siya at lumambot ang titig sa amin ni Ezequil. Parang ang dami niyang gustong sabihin kaso walang lumalabas sa kanyang bibig.

“H-how did you know I’m here, Pa?”

“Britta’s father told me. That’s why I came here to save—”

“I will kill you both!” Britta shouted from our back!

“Dapa!” sigaw ni Bailey Suldua sa amin ni Ezequil. 

Napapikit ako.

Ezequil dropped us off, and we heard several exchanges of gunfire. Nang magmulat ako ay doon ko nakitang sumusuka na ng dugo si Bailey. Yet he was smiling at us. He was saying something, but no words came out of his mouth.

Nilingon ko si Britta at kasabay no’n ang pagbagsak ng kanyang katawan sa sahig! Shit! She ran out of bullets earlier, however may tauhan nga pala siyang napatay ko kanina at tingin ko fully loaded pa ang baril no’n. Iyon yata ang ginamit niya.

Ezequil stiffened.

---

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EPILOGUE I

Epilogue: Part 1

“They’re our rivals. Don’t you ever get close to them or befriend them,” Papa warned me as he showed some pictures on the screen. “This is Tyson Maranzano, the mafia lord. Soon, his son or daughter will take over his throne. This is Zyhro Maranzano, Zenver Maranzano, and Zhuri Maranzano. One of them will be the next mafia lord.”

Habang nagsasalita si Papa sa harap ko, nakapukos lang ang mata ko sa screen. Hindi ko na nasundan ang mga sinasabi ni Papa dahil kuhang-kuha no’ng isang batang lalaki ang aking atensyon. Malaki ang ngiti niya roon sa larawan. May bitbit pa siyang Barbie doll at nawawala ang mata dahil sa laki ng ngiti niya. Maputi siya at namumula ang mukha. For some reason, I cannot pull my eyes away from him.

Bata palang ako tinatak na sa utak ko na kalaban namin ang mga Maranzano. May it be in power, influence, money, and leadership—lahat nagbabanggaan ang pamilya namin.

Bata palang ako inaral ko ang paghawak ng baril, kung papaano ito paputukin at papaano pumatay. I learned mixed martial arts and joined an operation at an early age. Gusto ni Papa na makita ko ang kanyang ginagawa. Gusto niyang gumaya ako sa kanya. But I am weak—I have a soft heart, just like my mother—Avery.

I don’t want to kill, but I have to. I don’t want chaos, but I have no choice. I want to be free, but I can’t escape the chains. And it’s all because of my father. I do what he wants me to do just so I can survive. I don’t know if it’s love or cruelty anymore.

“Oh my God!” my mother gasped when she saw me bathed in blood.

“Mom, I’m fine it’s not my blood.” Pagtatahan ko kay Mommy.

“You’re so young, Ezequil. You shouldn’t be holding guns. You should be holding pens.”

“But this is what Papa wants, Mom.”

“But you don’t want it!”

“We have no choice, mom!”

Kapag sa mga ganoong nangyayari ay iyak na lang ang nagagawa ni Mommy para sa akin. She wanted to run away, but she chose not to because of me. She could have a peaceful and happy life outside our house, yet she stays where I am. Kasi kung aalis siya maiiwan ako rito and she doesn’t want to leave me behind.

“He will go to school, Bailey!”

One night, my Papa and Mommy had a huge fight. Gusto ni Mommy na pumasok ako sa school. May nagtuturo naman sa akin sa bahay kaso, nais ni Mommy na pumasok ako sa eskwela at maranasan kong mag-aral kasama ang ibang mga bata.

“Ano bang gusto mo, Avery? Hindi pa ba sapat na may guro si Ezequil dito? Gusto mo talagang sa labas?!”

“Oo! Gusto kong sa labas siya kaysa naman dito na puro karahasan ang tinuturo mo sa anak ko!”

Kadalasan sa pag-aaway nina Mommy at Papa ay ako ang dahilan. Kung hindi naman ay ang pangbababae ni Papa.

I hate him. I hate my father for emotionally and physically torturing my mother. I heard my mommy cry every night because my father was having affairs. I’ve learned that physical pain inflicted by someone may fade, but emotional pain doesn’t disappear that easily.

My mother’s pain and suffering pushed me to become stronger. I wanted to get her out of our house. I wanted to surpass my father so I could protect my mother.

“You will go to school. You will no longer hold a gun. Simula ngayon ay mag-aaral ka na, ha?” saad ni Mommy sa akin habang nasa kotse kami.

Kahit na nag-away sila, napapayag ni Mommy si Papa na mag-aral ako sa isang school sa labas.

“Mom, did Papa hit you?” tanong ko kay Mommy nang makita ko ang sugat sa kanyang labi at pasa sa mukha.

Napatigil si Mommy sa pag-aayos ng uniform ko.

“Don’t mind me, Ezequil. Basta behave ka lang sa school, okay? Don’t hit someone. Be a good classmate, mmm?”

Hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Mommy. “I will, Mom.” And I will be strong enough to protect you from Papa.

I silently prayed for my mother’s health, her safety, and for the chance to see her happy again. I just wanted to see her smile.

“Smile, Ezequil.” Udyok ng aming guro sa akin kaso hindi ko magawang ngumiti. I feel awkward.

Wala akong naging kaibigan sa aming classroom kasi sabi nila masungit daw ako. Hindi lang nila alam na gusto ko ring makipagkaibigan kaso lang hindi ko alam kung papaano. Nahihirapan ako sa pakikipaghalubilo.

Uwian na namin nang mapatigil ako sa paglalakad palabas ng school. Nakuha ng tatlong bata ang aking atensyon. Nagtatalo sila.

“Kuya, laro muna tayo! Ayoko ko pa umuwi! Sa swing tayo!”

“Zen, may swing naman tayo sa bahay.”

“Zhuri is right, Zen. Sa bahay na lang.”

“But marami ang kids dito.” Pagmamaktol nito.

“Fine, pero saglit lang.”

“Yey! Thank you, Kuya! Zhu, come!” Tili nito.

And I can’t be wrong. Kung ano ang mukha niya sa larawan na pinapakita ni Papa sa akin, iyon din talaga ang histura niya sa personal. Maliit ang mukha, namumula sa pagkaputi, nawawala ang mata kapag ngumiti at ang bilog ng kanyang mga pisngi.

Hindi ko alam kung ano bang meron sa kanya na natutulala na lang ako. All I could see was his smiling face, and all I could hear was his laughter that made my heart flutter.

Naging routine ko siya. Ang panoorin siya habang naglalaro. Same level kami kaso magkaiba ang section.

I was so excited to go to school because I got to see him. But one day, naglalaro sila ng kanyang kapatid na babae—si Zhuri. Nang may lalaking bata na lumapit sa kanila at hinablot ang bolang pinaglalaruan nila.

“Mga anak ng salot!”

“Anak ng bading!”

“Bading ang mga parent ninyo!”

Napatayo ako mula sa aking kinauupuan. I wanted to protect Zen from the boy, but what I didn’t expect was seeing Zenver take something from his bag and run toward the boy.

Sa una ay hindi nakalapit si Zen dahil binato siya no’ng bata ng bola pero nang makabawi si Zen ay sinugod niya ito. Tinulak niya ang umaway na bata sa kanya dahilan para mahiga ito sa bermuda na playground. 

Umawang ang labi ko nang makita ko kung papaano niya sinaksak ang batang lalaki gamit ang… lapis! Parang sa isang iglap ay nawala ang kanyang pagiging bibong bata. His sparkling eyes turned grim. No matter how much his brother, Zyrho, tried to stop him, he seemed unstoppable!

Dapat ay natakot ako dahil sa nakita ko. However, I feel the opposite one. Mas humanga ako dahil sa tapang niya. Sa tapang niyang tumayo para sa mahal niya.

Kinuyom ko ang aking kamao nang marinig ko ang pagkakagulo sa kwarto nina Mommy at Papa. Gusto ko sanang ipakita kay Mommy ang perfect score ko sa exam.

“Kailan ka ba titigil, Bailey? I’m very much alive, yet you’re blatantly shoving your infidelity in my face! I even received a message from my friends who saw you with a different woman in a hotel! How dare you!”

“Will you shut up?! Nandito na ako! Ano pa ba ang gusto mo? At least, umuuwi pa ako sa’yo!”

Narinig ang malakas na pag-iyak ni Mommy.

“Umuwi ka… umuwi ka rito ngayon pero galing ka sa babae mo! Nandidiri ako sa sarili ko, Bailey! Nandidiri ako! I’m not your whore!”

Napaigtad naman ako nang marinig ko ang malakas na sampal.

“Nandidiri ka? Kung nandidiri ka, Avery, then just die! Deputang buhay!”

And one day, I got home from school. Deretso ako sa kwarto ni Mommy para ipakita sa kanya ang report card ko. Ngunit hindi ko inaasahan ang bumungad sa akin. Madilim ang kwarto ni Mommy at walang ilaw.

“Mommy?” Tawag ko, humihigpit na ang pagkakahawak ko sa aking report card.

“Mommy, I’m home.” Ulit ko ngunit walang nagsasalita at walang ingay. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero ramdam ko ang lamig at kakaibang katahimikan sa kwarto.

I decided to turn on the lights. I looked around the room, only to find my mother’s lifeless body on her bed. She was wearing a black dress, her face fully made up, though her eyeliner was smudged. I could also see the dried tears at the corners of her eyes. There was also a white substance coming from her mouth. At doon ko rin napansin ang mga nagkalat na gamot sa sahig.

Mommy took her own life, and I blame my father for it. However, I also blame myself for her death. I’m weak. Hindi ko siya naprotektahan. Hindi siya umalis sa bahay dahil sa akin. Nagtitiis siya dahil sa akin. At umabot na siya sa sukdulan.

When my mother was gone, I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore. There was no light in my life anymore. I never saw her smile again. I failed my mother.

“You’re so good, Ezequil.”

“You’re doing a great job, Ezequil.”

“My baby, I’m always proud of you.”

“I love you so much, Ezequil.”

Ang mga linya ni Mommy na namimiss ko. Ang rason kung bakit pa ako nabubuhay ay biglang nawala. I was so lost after my Mommy’s death.

Lumabas ako sa amin at tumakbo na lang kung saan. Abala sa bahay dahil sa pag-aasikaso sa katawan ni Mommy kaya walang nakapansin nang lumabas ako.

I was running and crying at the same time when a white van stopped in front of me and instantly pulled me inside. I didn’t get a chance to fight or wriggle because they were too fast!

Magwawala na sana ako sa dahil sa kanilang ginawa nang mapansin ko ang isa pang bata na mukhang kinidnap din nila. My eyes widened as realization hit me. It was Zenver Maranzano—he was crying and curled up in a corner.

“Tahimik! Kung ayaw ninyong patayin namin kayo ay tumatahimik kayo!”

“I-isusumbong ko kayo sa daddy ko! Daddy! Papadad! Huhuhuhu!” Iyak niya.

I wanted to comfort him, but then I’m a stranger to him. Tahimik lang akong umupo sa tabi niya. Humihikbi siya ng malakas.

Dahil sa iyak ni Zenver ay nairita yata ang mga kidnappers dahil hinarap nila kami at sasampalin na sana nito si Zen nang iharang ko ang aking katawan. Sa mukha ko lumapat ang malakas na sampal ng lalaki. Halos mabingi ako sa lakas no’n.

“Puta! Anong ginagawa mong bata ka?” ani ng lalaki.

Masama ko lang siyang tiningnan.

“Aba’t matapang ka—”

“Tama na ’yan. Peperahan pa natin ang mga batang iyan bago ibenta. “ saad naman ng lalaking nagda-drive.

Dinala nila kami sa isang lumang bahay. Tinalian ang aming mga paa. Akala ko kami lang ang nakidnap nilang bata ngunit marami pala kami.

Hindi ako umiyak. Hindi ako natakot. Siguro dahil ubos na ubos na ako sa pagkawala ni Mommy.

May isang bata na malakas umiyak kaya naman kinuha siya no’ng lalaki at nilatigo sa harap namin!

“Kapag hindi kayo tumahimik. Ganito ang sasapitin ninyo!” Sigaw ng lalaki at tinuro ang batang nilatigo na ngayon ay humandusay na sa sahig.

Hindi ako lumayo kay Zen. Kahit sa pwesto namin ay magkatabi kami. His shoulder vibrated.

“Shh!” ani ko sa kanya. “We will get out of here alive.” I’m sure of it because I know his father.

“When? I’m sure Kuya Zy and Zhuri would be so worried about me. Dapat kasi sa malapit lang ako sa kanila. Dapat hindi ako lumayo sa camp site.” Hikbi niya.

“Sshh,”

“Who are you?” Bumaling siya sa akin.

“I’m Eze—”

“Tahimik!”

Nalamon ng lalaking sumigaw ang aking sinabi. Ilang sandali lang ay binigyan nila kami ng pagkain. Isang pirasong kamote, tinapay, at tubig lang.

Kumakain ako sa tinapay nang mapansin ko si Zen na ubos na ang kanyang kamote at tinapay. He was eyeing on my boiled sweet potato. Tinitipid ko kasi ang akin. Baka kasi bukas wala na silang maipakain sa amin.

“You want?” Alok ko sa kanya sa kamote ko.

Ngumunguso siyang tumingin sa akin. I find him cute. Napangiti ako. Sa kabila ng mga nangyari sa akin sa araw na iyon napangiti pa rin ako dahil sa kanya.

“Hindi ka ba gutom? You only eat a piece of bread.”

Gutom ako. “Busog pa. Okay na ako sa tinapay.”

Ngumiti siya at kinuha ang kamote ko. “Thank you!” Ngiting wika niya.

“Y-you’re welcome.” Nautal kong untag. Ang ganda niyang ngumiti lalo na kapag nawawala ang mata niya.

Kung saan kami nakaupo ay doon lang kami matutulog. Si Zen ay inaantok na at nangangati dahil maraming lamok.

“You’re sleepy.” ani ko sa kanya.

“No, I’m not! I will wait for my dad to find me.”

I straightened up for him and tapped my legs.

“You can use my legs as your pillow.” Alok ko sa kanya.

Napatitig siya sa binti ko. Lumabi siya bago dahan-dahan na humiga at umunan sa hita ko. I didn’t sleep at binantayan siya. Binibugaw ko rin ang lamok dahil nangangati na siya.

Hindi rin kami umabot ng umaga mula sa kamay ng mga kidnappers dahil dumating ang mga tauhan ni Tyson Maranzano. We were rescued, and I didn’t get the chance to bid farewell to Zen when he ran toward his father.

There’s something about Tyson Maranzano that makes me shudder in fear. He walks into the house holding a gun in his hand, like he’s a king. His dark aura makes you bow your head the moment you see him. Masyadong malakas ang dating niya.

Right after Tyson Maranzano took Zen, the cops arrived and the place was raided.

In the following years, I rarely saw Zenver Maranzano. Nakikita ko lang siya minsan sa mga gala at ibang gatherings pero hindi niya ako tinatapunan ng tingin. Kapag naman nagkakatinginan kami ay iniirapan niya ako. He was always so brazen and hot for me.

For years, I had only been looking at him in a discreet manner. We hadn’t even had any proper interactions since the kidnapping incident. Not until I swung by Milan’s bar—his best friend’s bar.

I was sipping from my glass when I saw him walk in like he owned the place. His head was held high, and his eyes were filled with a kind of determination I couldn’t name. He took the table across from me.

Ang babae sa magkabilang kamay ko ay may binubulong sa akin kaso distracted na ako.

‘Fuck! I’m so done with this! Lumapit lang siya hindi na siya makakawala sa akin!’

I was slightly shocked when a girl grabbed my chin and kissed me. She was kissing me when my eyes found Zen’s. I couldn’t respond to the kiss while my gaze was locked on him. I couldn’t take it anymore—I made the girls leave.

I eyed him with blazing desire.

I smirked when I saw him waltzing toward me. Damn those white legs! How I wish I could spread them for me. How I wish he could choke me with those legs.

I was sipping from my glass when I saw him walking in like he owned the place. His head was held high, his eyes filled with a determination I couldn’t name. He took the table across from mine.

‘Damn, Ezequil! What the hell are you thinking?’

I wet my lips as he stood in front of me and spread my legs. He spread them apart. Hinila ko ang kamay niya at natapon sa aking puting polo ang kanyang inumin.

His lips parted

“Ouch!” He groaned as he landed on my thigh.

“Let go of me you, idiot!” Nagpupumiglas siya kaso tinanday ko ang binti ko sa kanyang hita. Akmang sasampalin niya ako kaso nahawakan ko ang kamay niya.

“What is the Maranzano princess doing in a place like this?” I asked, my jaw clenching.

“Uminom! Nag-enjoy!” He answered.

My queen, you’re not good at lying.

“Really?” he teased, raising my eyebrows. “Do Zhuri and Zyrho know?”

“I’m old enough! I don’t need their permission…”

“You’re the Maranzano clan’s most… most precious princess, Zen.”

“And you’re your clan’s heiress.”

“We’re rivals. Our family names cannot be together. So what are you doing here, Maranzano? What are you planning?”

He tried to pull his hand away from me, but I held him tightly.

“I’m here to drink!”

“Do you think I’ll buy that when you show up here and try to seduce me?”

“Excuse me?!”

“Excuse you, my queen,” I said, a grin surfacing my lips.

“Let go of me!”

Ngumisi ako lalo.

“I don’t want to. You just brought yourself to the tiger’s den, and there’s no turning back, Maranzano.” Maybe it was because of the alcohol, but I tried to kiss him. However, he dodged, and my lips landed on his jaw.

“Sorry, Suldua. Hindi ako nagpapahalik sa lalaking hinalikan na ng babae sa harapan ko.”

Damn!

My breath caught in my throat when he suddenly dropped his face onto my exposed chest before licking my skin. I felt my dick throb.

---

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EPILOGUE II

Epilogue: Part 2 (FINALE)

I was already enjoying it, Zenver Maranzano nagging me and flirting with me, even though I knew he had an ulterior motive. I liked it. It was like a drug, something I knew could harm me, yet I still craved it. I wanted it all, as if I would die without taking that destructive dose. As if not having it would leave me breathless.

I was bleeding, with a medical professional tending to my wounds inside our headquarters, we had just returned from a mission. Unfortunately, nagkaroon ng matinding ingkwentro at isa ako sa napuruhan. May dalawang daplis ako ng bala at buhay pa naman.

It was a successful infiltration, but I knew my father wouldn’t be pleased. We lost a few men, and I knew he would blame me for it. Para kasing ako na rin ang nilalabasan niya sa kanyang mga sama ng loob at galit niya. And that’s the most annoying part.

After my wound was patched up, my father sent me a message, ordering me to come to his office.

“Stupid!” Madiing wika ni Papa bago sinundot ang muzzle ng pistol niya sa sintedo ko.

This isn’t new to me. I’m already used to my father maltreating me and pointing a gun at my head. I wouldn’t be surprised if he pulled the trigger one of these days. I think his frustrations were passed on to me after my mother died. Dahil wala na si Mommy na kanyang mabubog kapag galit siya, sa akin na niya iyon binabaling.

“This was a simple mission, yet you still—”

“And it was a successful one,” I cut in, already fed up with his lecturing.

Dahil sa pagsagot ko sa kanya ay sinapak niya sa akin ang baril. I staggered back as my vision blurred, a sharp ringing echoing in my ears. Heat surged through my head, spreading like fire beneath my skin.

“Deputa! You now dared to talk back?”

Pinilig ko ang aking ulo. Nahihilo pa mula sa sapak.

Humaba pa lalo ang kanyang sermon sa akin kaya mas tumagal ako sa opisina niya.

Binagsak ko ang aking katawan sa kama ko. My dark room comforted me. Walang sinag ng araw ang nakakapasok sa bintana. At tanging ang kulay dilaw na ilaw lang ang nagsisilbing ilaw dito sa loob na nagmumula sa lampshade sa tabi ng kama.

Pinikit ko ang aking mata at biglang pumasok sa isip ko ang kulay pink na kotse ni Zen. Bigla akong napangisi sa kabila ng kirot sa ulo ko. Even our favorite colors scream opposition, he loves pink, while I love black.

I rummaged through the bed for my phone, right where I had tossed it. Binuksan ko ito at walang text o missed calls.

“Ano ba ang silbi ng pagbigay ko ng number ko sa kanya? Bakit niya hiningi ang number ko kung hindi niya ako iti-text?” Muli kong nabagsak ang kamay.

Sa sumunod na araw ay pinatawag ako ni Papa. Akala ko mabubugbog na naman ako ngunit sinabi niya lang sa akin na may dadaluhan akong business conference sa Palawan.

“Britta will be there too. Susunod siya sa’yo, so you better watch after her.”

Binalewala ko ang sinabi ni Papa. Bigla na lang dumating ang babaeng iyon sa bahay namin at fiancée ko raw! Dammit! Wala akong kaalam-alam.

“She’s not a kid.” Walang gana kong saad.

“She’s your fiancée!”

Kumuyom ang kamay ko. May fiancée na ako na hindi ko man lang alam. Talagang siya na ang nagdedesisyon sa buhay ko! Nakakasakal na!

I was waiting for Zen to mess with me, but not even a single text appeared in my inbox. Hanggang sa umabot na ako sa Palawan at dumalo sa unang araw ng conference.

I don’t know if it was destiny or if we were simply fated to cross paths, but the moment my eyes caught sight of a pink tailored suit, my mind knew, it was Zenver. I silently followed him. And when the conference ended, I discreetly went after him.

Sa pagsunod ko sa kanya ay nakarating kami sa dalampasigan. The sunset had never been so beautiful, until that afternoon. I snatched his shoes. Para siyang nakakita ng multo nang lumingon sa akin.

“What the hell?” Inagaw niya ang sapatos mula sa akin.

“Hi, my queen!” I said, playfully wagging my eyebrows.

Para na siyang nasusuka sa akin. Pero naaaliw ako.

“Excuse me, you obnoxious scoundrel!”

“Not so fast, my queen.”

“Tigilan mo nga kaka-queen sa akin?”

I just grinned. That pet name slipped out of my mouth, and I liked it. I think it suits him better!

“Why didn’t you text me? I thought you were going to mess with me.”

“Aha, so you’re anticipating my text?” He concluded.

“Not that I’m anticipating it. Nais ko lang makita kong papaano ako guguluhin ng isang… Maranzano. I wanna see you try, Maranzano.” I said.

“Are you challenging me?”

“Let’s see if you can infiltrate my defiance, my queen,” I smirked mischievously.

“Brixx Ezequil!”

Pumanting ang tenga ko nang marinig ko ang boses ni Britta! Akala ko hindi niya ako masusundan kasi hindi ako tumuloy sa hotel na binook sa akin. Dammit!

“Fuck!” I let out a sharp curse before grabbing Zen’s wrist and pulling him into a run, away from Britta.

I didn’t know that conference in Palawan would change me so much, my thoughts, my heart, even who I was. I thought I was just being challenged. I thought I only wanted Zen’s attention, to figure out what he was capable of. But I was so wrong. What I believed to be a simple obsession, a passing whim, turned into something deeper.

My heart wanted more. I craved more, not just his attention, but his eyes, his mind. I wanted everything about him to be mine.

Nang magkagulo sa loob ng convention ay siya kaagad ang inuna ko, ang pinrotektahan ko. Umusok na ang lugar sa mga pulbura at mga nagbabasagang bagay.

Damn! Old habits die hard. Kahit noong na-kidnap kami siya pa rin ang inuna ko no’n.

“What the heck?!” He spits, frustrated.

“Do you have your gun?” I asked him

“What? No!” Matigas niyang sagot.

“Take this!” sabi ko sabay bigay sa kanya ng baril.

Ngumiwi pa.

“Straight to the exit. I’ll cover you!” I yelled in between the defying bullets.

“What? W-what about you?”

“Save yourself first.”

“Suldua!”

“Maranzano!”

“Ezequil, it’s your time to kill me now. And I could kill you right now.”

How I wish I could. Killing him right now wouldn’t raise much suspicion from the organization, but I can’t. I just can’t pull the trigger on someone this precious to me.

“Shoot me,” aniya at dinala ang muzzle ng baril sa dibdib niya. I was stunned.

Kinasa niya ang baril at dinala ang daliri ko sa trigger.

Nakatitig lang siya sa akin na para bang hinihintay kung ano ang gagawin ko. Pero hindi ako makagalaw.

In that very moment, I realized how weak I was when it came to him. Before I could even regain my composure, he yanked his hand from mine and fired at whoever was behind me.

I was shot, but strangely, it felt like the best feeling ever. Sinong baliw ang matutuwa kapag nabaril? Ako lang! Ako lang kasi nagawa niya akong tingnan at alagaan.

I could sense that Zen was trying his best to act indifferent and composed around me. But his façade betrayed him, he couldn’t hide the worry in his eyes. Just seeing Zenver do his best to tend to my wounds brought light to my dark world.

And before I knew it, the next time I opened my eyes, he was in my arms, my other arm wrapped around him. Ito ba ang tinatawag nilang blessing in disguise?

However, my happiness was short-lived when I received a message from my father na darating siya. Akala ko malayo pa siya ngunit kumalabog na ang bahay sa baba.

I couldn’t let my father find out that I was sheltering the son of our enemy, so I hid Zen in my closet.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko sa puntong iyon. Alam ko kasi na naririnig ni Zen ang mga sinasabi ni Papa. As much as I didn’t want him to see me in such a pitiful state, I had no strength left. And it was all because I left Britta alone. Dammit!

“I can take care of myself, Zen. Please, baka bumalik si Papa at makita ka. Baby, I can’t fight for you right now.” Nanghihina kong sabi sa kanya. I just didn’t want my father to find out that Zenver had been with me the whole time, because I knew, personally and without a doubt, that Bailey Suldua would raise hell.

“Magpabugbog ka ulit doon sa Papa mo. That’s what you’re good at, right? Being a coward and a dog? Let’s not see each other again, Suldua. Thank you for saving me. It think bayad na naman ako sa pagligtas mo sa akin.”

I stared at the door where he left. Gusto ko lang na kalimutan niya iyong nangyari, iyong ginawa ni Papa sa akin. But I didn’t know our conversation would escalate this much.

But a week without him felt like hell. My body was aching for his presence. Parang hindi ako nabuhay ng ilang taon na wala si Zen. Para akong naparalisa nang bigla niya akong iwan.

One week was enough, I’d had enough. That’s why, once I recovered, I found him myself. He wasn’t hard to find because I know hindi naman siya lalayo. At tama akong hanapin siya sa resort nila.

When I saw him walking along the shore, I took out my phone and dialed his number. Of course, I had memorized it. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang makita siya.

“Hello?” Fuck! I miss his voice so much! “Hello?”

“My queen,” my guttural response.

“Ezequil?”

“May tumatawag pa ba sa’yong reyna niya?” Uminit bigla ang ulo ko.

“I’ll block your number. Kalimutan na natin ang mga interaksyon natin last week—”

“I don’t want to.” That would never happen. I won’t let that happen! Never!

“What?”

“Ayoko ko silang kalimutan.”

“Ezequil,”

“Tama ka, Zen.. I’m a coward. And now, I’m standing and fighting for my ground.”

The other line fell into silence. Pinanood ko lang siya.

I smiled. “The sunset looks so lovely, right, my queen?”

“W-what?”

“Right behind you, baby.” Namamaos kong untag.

“Why…” he murmured as if he was out of air. “Why are you here?”

“I’m here to mess with you, my queen. If you won’t mess with me, then I’ll be the one to mess with you.”

It wasn’t easy though. Akala ko magiging madali kasi siya itong may gusto no’ng una na magpapansin. At ngayon na ako na naman ang gustong magpapansin ay parang may nakakahawang sakit na ’ko kung ipagtulakan niya.

Was it because I was weak? Was it because of what he witnessed back at my house? Did he realize that I’m worthless? Was I no longer a challenge to him?

“Stop it, Suldua.” Gigil niyang saad.

“Why, Zen? Di ba ito ng gusto mo?”

“Ano ba ang sinasabi mo?”

“Like I told you, I’m here to mess with your life,” huminga ako ng malalim.

“Shut up, Ezequil. Let’s just forget what happened in the past few weeks, okay? Let’s go back to our lives as if we never knew each other, as strangers. Hmm? Easy, right?” sabi niya na parang ang dali no’n.

Papaano na ako? Papaano na ako na ang lalim na ng pagkahulog? Maisasalba pa ba ito?

I stood in front of him firmly.

“I won’t do that.” I finally mustered to utter.

Mararahas ang kanyang paghinga. “Ano ba ang gusto mo, Ezequil?”

“Ikaw!” I answered as matter as fact!

“What!”

“I mean…” I heaved. “Dito… dito ko gusto.”

“Alam mo… aaminin akong ako ang unang lumapit at medyo nag-flirt sa’yo. Pero tumigil na tayo dito, Ezequil, okay? Wala tayong makukuha sa paglapit mo na ’to sa akin. We were like digging at each other’s graves. Always remember that you’re a Suldua and I’m a Maranzano.”

“Damn names. I’ll do whatever I want.” I lashed out.

“You really want to die?”

Die? Tsk!

“I’d gladly die… if it means having a chance to be with you.”

I’m fucking willing! I’m fucking willing to be his pawn or whatever he was up to. Alam ko rin naman na hindi niya ako lalapitan kung wala siyang plano. It doesn’t take much intelligence to figure it out.

I was in the middle of following and pursuing Zen when a guy, Jet, a marine from Cebu, entered the picture.

My whole world shook when I saw Zen laughing with the boy! The marine made Zen laugh heartily, while I only seemed to give him headaches.

Finally, I understood. He hated me because of our names. That’s why he pushed me away. But I don’t care if I look like a pushover anymore. I’ll never let him go!

“I don’t care about our names, Zen.” I spits.

“Don’t be selfish.”

“Zen, I have no intention of entertaining my feelings for you. But when you walk into my life, you unknowingly break the tiniest thread of my sanity…”

“Stop it, Ezequil!”

“I don’t want to.”

“Don’t be stubborn!”

“I get to decide what I want, Zen. I’m done with my father toying with me and treating me like his obedient dog!” I said, into his troubled eyes.

We were now stuck to each other!

Lapitin talaga siya ng mga lalaki! Tang ina! Nang mapadpad din siya sa isla kung saan ako nags-stay ay nakita ko rin siyang masayang nakikipag-usap sa isang foreigner. But I was so thankful I saw him, because that guy had drugged him! If it weren’t for me… baka kung ano na ang nangyari sa kanya!

“Fuck you!” I launched a hard punch on the foreigner’s face. Lumipad ang katawan niya sa buhangin at bago pa siya makatayo ay sinugod ko na ulit siya ng suntok.

“You’re messing with the person, man!”

Kung wala lang umawat ay baka bangkay na siya kapag dumating sa ospital.

That night, I didn’t expect to taste his lips. I may have admired him from afar, but holding him unguarded in my arms, he moaning softly as I ravished his lips, was something wildly intoxicating.

“I have a proposal.”

Batid ko na kasi na ayaw niya talaga. Magmamatigas talaga siya kapag pinilit ko ang gusto ko. Ayaw niya akong tanggapin dahil magkalaban kami. Kaya may naisip ako.

“P-proposal?”

“I know na magmamatigas ka talaga. Ayaw mo sa akin dahil sa apilyedo ko which is hindi ko naman mababago. Kaya naisip ko…”

“Naisip mo na ako?”

“Naisip ko na habang nandito tayo sa isla, dito sa Palawan, na kalimutan muna natin ang mga apilyedo natin. Let’s pretend that you’re just Zenith Verniz and I’m just Brixx Ezequil.”

“N-nothing serious? Kakalimutan din natin ang lahat when we go back to Manila?” Ulit niya.

Ayaw ko nito but I have no choice. Desperado rin akong makasama siya. Hindi ko man alam kung hanggang kailan pero susubukan ko. I will make him fall for me!

“Yes…” ani ko kahit nahihirapan.

“Just like a game?”

I nodded deliberately. “Yeah, like a game.” Hirap kong untag. My heart doesn’t want this. I want a real one!

What happened in Palawan was amazing and worth the risk. We were like a couple enjoying their honeymoon on the island.

I was already loving it, I almost forgot that I was the one who suggested our setup. At nang inaakala ko’y maayos na, ay hindi pa pala. Zenith Verniz suddenly left me. He literally left me without even saying anything!

“And what are doing here?” I fired to Britta.

Hindi na kasi bumalik sa dalampasigan si Zen kaya sumunod ako sa kanya. At ngayon nakita ko si Britta!

“I was looking for you everywhere, Ez. Nandito ka lang pala.”

“And who cares? Pwede ka ng umalis!”

Mabilis na ang kabog ng puso ko nang hindi ko mahanap sa loob ng villa si Zen.

“May hinahanap ka ba?”

Marahas akong humarap sa kanya. “Wala! Please leave!” Tinuro ko ang pinto.

“I’m your fiancée, Ez. Treat me like one!”

“I’m already being nice to you, Britta. I respect you because you’re a woman. Pero ayoko talaga. I’m not ready to settle down yet. Now, leave!”

When I saw Zen’s short text message, halos matawa ako. Emergency? Really? Iyon na ’yon? Akala ko sa mga oras na magkasama kami sa villa ay nagawa kong baguhin ang kanyang isip. Akala ko… nabago ko na ang isip niya.

On the following day, I was barely alive. Bumalik ako ng Manila at ibang-iba na. Wala na akong paki sa mga sinasabi ni Papa sa akin. Then, when the opportunity came, I invested in one of their businesses, the Gamma Es. It was under a different name, but I knew they would eventually find out. I’m willing to go to any length just for Zen. I miss him so much. I don’t care if I have to face the entire Maranzano clan. I miss my baby more than anything.

I know I’m a bad cook, so I decided to learn how to cook. I found a new hobby, one born out of missing him. Gusto ko na sa susunod na lulutuan ko siya ay maayos na ang maihahanda kong pagkain sa kanya.

I knew my pretty little baby wouldn’t answer my calls or texts once he recognized my number, so I changed my SIM.

Out of all places kung saan kami pwedeng magkita ni Zen. Sa banyo pa talaga ng isang restaurant. Sumusuka siya nang makita ko. I was so worried. He was sick!

I had been aggressive in approaching him, but I noticed that my approach only made him slip further from my grasp. That’s why I needed to be patient, I had to learn how to wait.

Nagdududa ako sa rason niya no’ng umalis siya sa villa sa Palawan. Pero hindi ko na siya piniga pa roon. Pansin ko rin kasi na ang dali nang uminit ng ulo niya. Konting kausap lang nanininghal na siya.

“Hi!” Esther, Zen’s sister, approached me after the meeting with the board.

Malaki ang na-invest ko sa GEs kaya naman malaya akong nagagawi rito. Pansin ko ang init ng dugo ng mga Maranzano sa akin pero iniinda ko sila. I just want to see Zen. Siya lang ang rason kung bakit pinasok ko itong GEs.

“Hi!” Ngumisi siya sa akin. Naalala ko ang ngiti ni Zen. “Thank you for investing in our company and, of course, for being one of our partners.”

Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya. Nagkamot naman siya sa kanyang batok.

“You’re not investing because you want to expand your business, right?”

Napatanga ako sa pagiging prangka niya.

“Is it because of my brother—Zen?”

My lips pressed into a thin line.

“I’m sorry.” My voice soften together with my eyes. Maranzano nga ito ang bilis makahuli.

“There’s no need to.”

“Thank you, Esther.”

“You wanted to see my brother?”

Napatingin ako sa paligid. Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko.

Dahil kay Esther nagkaroon ako ng oras na makasama at makausap si Zen. Pero hindi ko naman inaasahan na sa muli naming pag-uusap ni Zen ay malalaman kong buntis siya! Sa sobrang gulat ko nang malaman iyon ay nawalan ako ng malay!

Now that I’m having a child with Zen, I need to break off and clear up whatever issues Britta and I have. Wala man ako o nando’n man ako nang pagkasunduan ng pamilya namin na ikasal kami ay parte pa rin ako roon. Kaya kailangang linawin ko na ito kay Britta habang mas maaga pa.

“I’m really sorry, Britta. When you arrived at our house, I thought we could be friends, not fiancés.”

“Ez,”

“I don’t like you, Britta.”

“We still have time to get to know each other, Ez.”

Umiling ako sa kanya. Pinagsiklop ko ang aking kamay sa ibabaw ng mesa.

“I already like someone else, Britta. Please, respect my decision.”

“You… you like someone else?” Parang hindi makapaniwala niyang untag.

“Yes. I want to marry someone I truly like, Britta. I will only settle down with someone I love, and I’ve already found that person. So, let’s set each other free.”

Kinagat niya lang ang kanyang labi.

“I know there was no formal introduction when we were bound to marry each other, but I want some formality in breaking this off.”

Britta nodded.

“Hmm… if… if that’s what you wanted, Ez.”

---

Simula no’n ay lihim ko nang inaabangan sa labas ng kanilang bahay si Zen. Hanggang sa pumupuslit na kami para makasama ang isa’t isa. Naging tulay talaga namin si Esther sa mga patagong pagtatagpo namin!

Pero hindi naman iyon nagtagal kasi nahuli rin kami ng parents ni Zen. I was really scared of Tyson Maranzano. Tumanda man siya pero nando’n pa rin ang tikas at kakisigan niya. Pati na ang kanyang dating ay kakaiba pa rin. On the contrary, Cassidy Maranzano was truly like an angel sent from heaven. He was not only beautiful but also very kind, and he had a good aura that left you stunned. Manang-mana sa kanya si Zen, iyon nga lang si Zen ay may pagka-prangka at medyo may attitude. Nonetheless, I like it.

When he’s pissed, annoyed, and angry, I find it amusing. Lahat ng expressions niya ay naaliw ako. Lumulundag ang puso ko kapag tumatawa siya, naiinis, at galit!

Zen was also the first person with whom I felt comfortable sharing my life. I had no fear of showing him my true self, and I was no longer afraid to be vulnerable around him.

I used to love black and white, but Zen’s arrival in my life changed everything. Maganda naman pala ang pink.

I didn’t beg for love. I hated that word because my mother suffered because of it. My father beat me because of it. And if that’s love, I don’t want it. My father instilled in my mind that love would make me weak.

However, Zen showed me a different meaning of love. Zen’s affection brought me back to life again. I feel like living again because of him.

Love makes people stupid. Love makes people both weak and strong. I understand the true meaning of it because of my queen, Zen. He makes me feel weak, but he is also my strength.

“Our baby kick again!” Tuwa kong sambit at nilagay ang dalawa kong palad sa kanyang malaking baby bump!

I saw Zen grimaced. Mabilis na nawala ang tuwa ko.

I kissed his big tummy. “Sshh! Huwag pahirapan si Mom, baby. Sshh!”

“Tumayo ka nga d’yan.” Suway niya sa akin. Nakaluhod kasi ako sa harapan niya na parang sinasamba siya.

“Is it really painful?” I asked worriedly, only to receive a smack on my head.

“Ikaw kaya magbuntis? Ang kulit nitong baby natin! Panay ang sipa! Gusto na yatang lumabas!”

“Relax, my queen. Baka sumipa na naman si baby.”

Kinurot niya ako. Tanging daing na lang ang nagawa ko.

Inalalayan ko siya tungo sa sofa. Kaso napatigil kami nang dumaing siya. Sumipa na naman ang bata.

“Nasobrahan yata sa pagka-healthy si baby.” Ungol niya at hiningal.

Malaki na talaga ang baby bump ni Zen. Nag-aalala ako lalo tapos ngayon ang likot-likot na ang baby namin. Nagigising na nga si Zen sa madaling araw dahil sa mga sipa ng bata.

“My queen,” I pouted.

“Tumgil ka, Suldua! Bakit ikaw ang naiiyak eh ako ang sinipa ng baby natin?”

Binuhat ko na lang siya at pinaupo sa sofa. Hinaplos ko ang kanyang t’yan na malaki at bilog na bilog.

“Baby, I’m really worried. I was there when Arth Lacsamana gave birth to their twins. It was so painful. Even Zyhro almost lost himself that night!”

“Praning ka!” aniya.

Nilabian ko siya. Simula talaga no’ng araw na iyon ay tinutukan ko na si Zen. Hindi na ako umaalis sa tabi niya para safe siya at may kasama rito sa bahay namin.

“Magiging okay lang kami ni baby. Basta nasa tabi ka namin. I know we will be okay and safe.”

My quick kiss on his lips was met with a sweet response. God, the restraint I’ve shown since his pregnancy has been excruciating! Hindi ko na tanda kung kailan ang huli naming love making. Sinabi naman ng doktor na okay lang mag-sex basta mag-ingat kami. Pero ayaw kong i-risk ang pamilya ko. Kapag nanganak naman siya ay makakabawi naman ako.

“I love you so much, my queen.”

“I love you too, Brixx Ezequil.”

Sa sumunod na buwan ay kapanganakan na ni Zen. Sinamahan ako nina Esther at Zhuri. Evren, Ehann, and Tita and Tito Tyson also promised to follow us.

Inside the delivery room, I was sweating profusely, my hand clammy as I clung to Zen’s. Nanlalamig na rin ako nang marinig ang mga gamit sa cesarean ni Zen. Pinilig ko ang aking ulo nang biglang nanlabo ang mata ko. Akala ko kinakabahan lang ako at normal lang ang malalamig kong pawis. Kaso nang marinig ko ang iyak ng anak namin ni Zen ay kasabay din no’n ang pag-ikot ng mundo ko at nilukob ako ng dilim!

“Congratulations, sir!”

“Sir?”

“Sir!?”

“Tulungan ninyo! Nawalan ng malay—”

I had planned to give Zen the ring I bought months ago, right after he gave birth to our baby, but darkness had already enveloped me, swallowing everything whole.

When I finally regained consciousness, I found myself in the room, lying beside Zen and our twin babies, their gentle breaths filling the quiet air.

Mabilis akong bumangon. My eyes watered with tears.

“Sshh! They’re sleeping, Ezequil!”

Lumipad ang mata ko kay Zen. My baby! Tapos na ang panganganak niya! Dammit! Nawalan na naman ako ng malay!

“Baby, thank you for giving these cute angels!”

Our babies, Blaise Zenaia, our precious little girl, and Barrett Zell, our sweet baby boy.

“Silly! Iiyak ka na naman!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Shut it! By the way, Esther found this among your things. Is this for me?” Zen said, raising his hand.

My eyes widened when I saw that he was already wearing the ring I had meant to give him earlier.

“I-I was just about to give it to you… I’ve been meaning to ask you to m-marry me, my queen.”

He rolled his eyes. “Then it’s a yes. I’ll marry you, Brixx Ezequil Suldua.”

And just like that, I broke into tears, overwhelmed with happiness.