Chapter 1

Liam POV:

The sunlight beamed in my eyes, simultaneously blinding and waking me up. I tried to get up, but a heavy weight on my chest made it hard to do that. Now that I think about it, it’s also making it hard to breathe.

I blindly pushed the naked body from mine and rolled over to get the sun out of my eyes. I thought about going back to sleep but a knock at the door let me know that plan wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

I climbed out of bed, squinting as I tried to find my pants in this bright room. Any other time I wouldn’t exactly mind the sunlight, but today I’m hungover and feel like hurling by just standing. I almost toppled over when putting on my slacks and barely made it to the door when a second knock sounded.

I opened the door with a less than pleasant expression on my face. “Good morning, Your Royal Highness.” Avery greeted me as soon as I opened the door.

“Good morning, Avery. Is everything okay?”

“Yes sir. The queen would like to speak with you in the main ballroom, with matters concerning the ball.”

I rubbed my temples and sighed. “I’ll be down in a few minutes, thank you.” I tried closing the door but his foot stopped it. “Was there something else?”

“Would you like me to send your…guests home?”

I looked behind me and remembered about the sleeping girls in my bed. There were three of them in total and they were now all taking up the entire bed. I don’t even remember talking to them last night. I talked to a red head girl, Kelsey i think, and planned on taking her home but she wasn’t upon the three women currently in my bed.

There’s usually not a night where I sleep in bed alone. I almost always have someone in my bed. I’m not sure if it has something to do with commitment issues, which i personally don’t think I have. If I want a relationship I’ll get one. It’s not hard to do, being the Prince of Avalon and all. I’m simply not interested. It’s the attention that I’m interested in. I don’t plan on settling down anytime soon, seeing as both my parents are alive and healthy so there’s really no need to.

My older brother, Luca is already married to his sweet wife, Princess Olivia of Lennard. So I won’t be ruling Avalon anytime soon, well unless everybody died in some freak accident or something crazy. Seeing as Luca is next in line for the throne I won’t have to worry about any of that. Which, I think is for the best, considering all of the articles written about me in ‘Avalon Times’.

I’m always caught doing stuff I’m ‘not supposed to do’, such as being caught at a sex party the night before a charity event. Somewhere along the way I’ve become known as ‘Liam, the Failure Prince of Avalon’. Does it bother me? Somewhat, but I don’t want to change my ways because people think it makes me a less of a prince.

Respectfully anyone who has a problem with the way I live my life can suck my royal dick.

“Please send them home after I leave. I’d rather not have to talk to them anymore.” I saw a flash of disgust in his eyes when I said those words, but I chose to ignore it. I’m used to that look, especially from people so close to the royal family.

“Yes sir.” He bowed then turned to leave.

I closed the door and made my way to the bathroom attached to my room. I tried closing the door as quietly as possible. The last thing I want is to wake the women up and have them asking when our next hookup is, because the answer is and will always be, never. I don’t hook up with the same person more than once. And i damn sure won’t hookup with a girl from a group of girls that I hooked up with the night before, seeing as that’s basically the same thing.

I took a quick shower to wash the smell of sex and alcohol off of me before I see the queen. Of course she doesn’t like to keep waiting, but she dislikes it even more if I walk around smelling like the things I do behind closed doors.

I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist as I walked over to the sink. I started brushing my teeth as I made my way to my closet. I grabbed the first pair of briefs I saw and put on some black slacks and a grey sweater.

I finished brushing my teeth and went to grab socks and shoes which I put on as fast as possible, still not wanting to be here when the women wakes up, which could be at anytime from now. I grabbed my phone off the charger and wallet out of my drawer and bolted out of my room as if I was the one night stand at someone else’s house.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I ran down the hundreds of steps in the palace. It took less time than usual to get to the main ballroom. Guards were waiting by the door and when I got close enough they opened the double doors for me.

My Mother was talking to Axel, the head planner for the ball. He was showing her different color fabrics and I can honestly say, I have no idea what they plan on using that for. I also don’t care either.

“Your Majesty.” I bowed, greeting my mother.

She looked up from the fabrics. “Which one do you like more?” She held up two pieces of fabric. “This Cobalt blue or this Imperial blue?” They looked the same to me. I didn’t say it but I was definitely thinking it.

“See. This one is lighter than this one.” She raised the fabrics, making her point.

“I like the Imperial blue more.” I have no idea which one is the Imperial blue.

She gave both of the fabrics to Axel. “We’re going with the imperial blue.”

“Yes ma’am. I’ll go get started on it and have it ready by tomorrow.”

I watched as Axel took the fabrics and walked out of the main ballroom. “As you know, tomorrow is our annual Avalon Alliance Ball.” I nodded, already knowing where this conversation was going. “I need you to make sure you do absolutely any and everything to stay out of the papers until then. The last thing this kingdom needs is neighboring kingdoms thinking we don’t care about the alliances and bonds we’ve spent so long forming.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“As you know our country has went to war with some of these kingdoms that are coming to this ball. It’s important to show that we are still strong, still reliable, and dependable. I don’t need you being reckless and making other kingdoms think we don’t have control over our royal family.”

“I promise to be on my best behavior until then.”

She glared at me. “I wish you would be on your best behavior all the time but we both know that’s asking too much.”

She sighed. “The kingdom of Balemont is suffering. Mainly financially, but this ball is more important than the rest of them because we have to support our longest standing alliance. Your great great grandfather formed this alliance with the kingdom of Balemont many years ago when our kingdom was struggling the most. We have to make sure to repay the favor and show them that we’re here for them in any way that they may need us.” I had no idea the kingdom of Balemont was struggling at all. They do a damn good job at hiding it, that’s for sure.

“Tomorrow I need you to socialize like you’ve never socialized before. Make a friendship with Prince Nyx and keep the other kingdoms happy. We can’t afford any of your screw ups tomorrow.” I nodded. “You’re dismissed.”

Did they really wake me up to tell me not to fuck up for the next thirty eight hours?

Dear diary,

    I’m not looking forward to this ball. Send help.

Chapter 2

Nyx’s POV:

“He’s never been this reckless…he always listens to what we say. What happened?” Mom spoke in a defeated tone, her tissue in hand wiping away the fallen tears. I cast my eyes down unable to keep on looking at her sad face, even if I don’t want to regret my decision her face makes me want to cry and apologize but I don’t want to. I want to take a stand for once, I want to take part in my life.

“Mom-”

“Don’t call her that.” The King bellowed standing up. I held my hand nervously trying to calm down my erratic heart. I had to think carefully before I spoke or angered him more.

“My King, let’s talk calmly.” Mom tried to calm him down. He looked like he was ready to slice me into pieces and I had to look down just to avoid it.

“I apologize.” It came out meekly, I couldn’t find it in my voice to speak louder. All the confidence escaping my body, I pinched my elbow skin as I forced my eyes up to look into his eyes once again. They had softened yet still lethal. “I-i- I love her dad.” I confessed, this is the first time I am going against anything he says. Shouldn’t that mean something? “I love her…she-” I went down on my knees. “What I tried to do was out of line punish me how you see fit Your Majesty, but let me be with her…please.”

“What is love without our people? This is about our people. Your people.”

“I know, I know father but I have been sacrificing for my people all my life. I have given them everything, all of me…can’t I just have one thing?” I took a defeated exhale as I glanced both of them in the eyes. “Just her, we can have an alliance with her family.” The bitterness on the king’s face was enough to tell me it was impossible.

Mom came close to me, held my shoulders, and made me look her in the eye. “The final decision is being made tomorrow in Avalon, I know you will do the right thing.”

“You trust him to show up?” The King took a seat as he gestured to me with a look of disappointment from my first ever mistake. Maybe it’s because he didn’t think I had it in me, honestly, I didn’t think I had it in me frankly speaking.

“I trust he will do the right thing like he always does.” She patted my shoulder. “Go get ready, we are set to travel at dawn.” It was like they didn’t listen to a thing I said. The decision was already made before I tried to make a statement, I became a bad person for considering myself for once.

“I will.” I got off my knees bowed at them then made my way to the door.

“Don’t go looking for that girl, we have a reputation to uphold.” I bowed once again, and as soon as I got out I closed the door behind me. I wiped at my eyes while taking in deep breaths to calm my erratic broken heart.

I took slow firm steps trying to think of everything. It was foolish of me to try and run away. I should have never tried such a thing. As a man in love, I support my decision but as a prince and soon-to-be king, I have a kingdom to think about.

I cleared my throat upon reaching her room. “Can I see the lady?” The guards at the door knocked and one went in to inform her. She came and pulled me inside with her. Without saying a word she pulled me into a deep hug, and I reciprocated holding her with all my might. “They didn’t listen?” I could hear her cry into my chest. I had to hold my tears back to be brave for both of us. “I’m sorry.” when I apologized she pulled back.

“You’re going to listen to them?” She pulled out of the hug “We were supposed to run away, be together not listen to them. You were going to take a stand.”

“I don’t have a choice.”

“We don’t have to listen to them.”

“They are the king and queen.” She knows we don’t have a choice. I have known that my entire life yet I still try to please them “They need me to save the kingdom.”

“When will it be your turn to save yourself? You have given them everything. They will support you if you choose me as your queen.” Who wouldn’t support her? She is Lady Augustus, a child of Lord Xylem and Lady Ylem of the Veeral kingdom. It’s not as big as Balemont or Avalon but it is the most peaceful kingdom in the entire dynasty.

Everyone would approve if I chose her to be our Queen, she would rule beside me for years and years. The thought of this made my heart break, all the dreams we have came crashing down.

“The entire dynasty would want you as their Queen.” The entire dynasty except the Balemont rulers. They have despised the Veeral kingdom since the beginning. They try to put up a front when they’re around, yet behind closed doors they loathe them and what they stand for.

My father’s ego would go down if it was the Avalon kingdom, but not the Veeral kingdom. Now I have to say goodbye to the only person who has shown me what real happiness is, what real love without expectation is.

She showed me what love stands for, the kind of love my parents nor my people will ever provide me. They all want something from me in order to love me. No one to lean on, yet show how strong I am.

I turned away from her when I felt the first tear trying to fall down. A lady shouldn’t see me cry, I need to be strong when she breaks down.

“Are you choosing your people?”

“I have to.” She doesn’t know how hard I’m trying not to break down right now. Acting strong when my heart is breaking has always been hard but it’s what is expected from the Prince. I am to provide, to unite…I can’t break. I’m not allowed to.

They lean on me and I have to still stand straight. They ask, and I have to serve. My life is for them, never mine…and I have no choice except to please them by going with what the Avalons want.

To reunite our kingdoms. They are using our fall down to unite and become strong. Their help comes with a price, a sacrifice…me.

Nothing and no one can save me from the misery I am about to enter without the love of my life.

My eyes found hers and the pity she showed, she looked at me as if I was the only one in pain. “I thought you would finally take a stand.” She held the side of my face. “You’re not ready yet, my love. You’re not ready to choose you.” She smiled lightly as she hugged me. “Once you get married, consider me gone…forever.”

I couldn’t hold it in, my heart broke a thousand times today. First when we got caught trying to run away, second when the king wouldn’t let me choose, and third when she said those words.

“If you’re gone what will I become?”

“Hopefully, you will search for freedom. Hopefully, you will one day choose. Hopefully, you will never be afraid of what they think. And hopefully, you will consider loving and caring for yourself before anyone else or love enough to fight.”

She tiptoed and pecked my lips, it was a goodbye. I felt her soft lips try to pull away but I pulled her back in afraid to let go. Afraid to say goodbye. Afraid of the thought that this might be our last time together, and then she will float away.

Dear Diary

,

  People pleasing always kills the pleaser

Chapter 3

Liam POV:

This morning was one of the few mornings I woke up in an empty bed. There were no naked women to push off of my own naked body. There were no women to avoid. It was just me, laying in this cold bed alone.

I finally got out of my bed and decided to get started with my day. Any minute now, Avery will knock on my door to tell me to come downstairs for breakfast with the King and Queen. Today is the day of the annual Avalon Alliance Ball. In about eleven hours or so I’ll have to socialize with every kingdom we’ve ever had an alliance with, Balemont included. I have to be sure to socialize with them the most otherwise my mother’s going to tear me a new one.

I took a shower and stepped out, grabbing my towel and wrapping it around my waist. As I was brushing my teeth I heard a knock at my door. With my toothbrush in my mouth and in only a towel, I walked over to my door and opened it.

It was Avery, like I expected. He had a black Garment bag in his hand, most likely what I’m expected to wear to the ball tonight. “Good morning, Your Highness. Breakfast has been served, The royal family are awaiting your arrival.”

I nodded, taking the bag. I watched as he bowed before leaving. I close the door and threw the bag on my unmade bed.

I walked in the bathroom and continued getting ready. I finished brushing my teeth and went in my closet and grabbed a pair of black briefs. I put those on and grabbed a pair of khaki slacks. I wore a white button down shirt which was tucked into the pants and a brown sweater vest. I put on my socks and designer brown wing tip dress shoes. I grabbed a brown watch, which I put on as I made my way to my nightstand. I grabbed my phone and wallet before making my way downstairs.

I went to the dining room and found my family, my brother included, sitting at the table. I sat across from my brother and his wife. My parents both sat at the heads of the table. The seat on my right was empty and cold. It would be collecting dust by now if the maids didn’t clean the palace from top to bottom daily.

The seat next to me is where my wife was supposed to sit, but seeing as I don’t have one and definitely won’t be having one any time soon.

“Good morning.” I greeted.

“Good morning, son.” My father spoke. “How’d you sleep?”

I smiled. “Like a log.”

“Are you excited for the ball tonight?” My mom asked as a sever placed food in front of her before moving to Princess Olivia.

“I’m so excited I can’t contain it.” I said in obviously fake excitement. My brother snorted at my comment causing my mother to glare at him.

The sever placed a plate of food in front of me. I grabbed a napkin from the table and placed it neatly on my lap. My breakfast consisted of a bowl of assorted fruits, A butter cream bagel, and two hard boiled eggs.

“Did you get the suit for the ball?”

“The one Avery brought?” She nodded. “Yes, though I have yet to look at it.”

“I asked Axel to make it in that lovely Imperial blue you chose yesterday.” She smiled.

“That’s very kind of you, It was such a beautiful color. I’m glad to have a suit in that color.” I still have no idea which blue is which, but she doesn’t know that.

We had small talk for the rest of the breakfast. I then went to help set up for the ball but after knocking down a vase I was sent to my room. To be fair that vase shouldn’t have been there. Who puts a vase right next to the entrance? It was bound to get knocked over by someone.

The time for the ball came faster than I’d like. I was currently standing in front of my mirror, trying to get a single hair to stay down. After many tried and failed attempts I finally got it to stay in place.

A knock on the door let me know they were ready. I did one more quick onceover in the mirror, fixing my cuffs and straightening my suit. I let out a deep exhale before leaving my room.

I walked behind my family as they were being announced. My mother and father were announced first as the King and Queen of Avalon. My brother and sister in law were announced next, as Prince Luca of Avalon and Princess Olivia of Lennard. I watched as they walked in side by side.

Finally I was announced. “Presenting, Prince Liam of Avalon.” The announcer spoke in a voice so loud God himself would cower. I entered the ballroom and all eyes were on me. Soon after, the party started.

It was time to socialize and make good on our alliances. A sever offered me a glass of champagne. I took it and made my way over to Sofia, the princess of Briles.

I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. “You look stunning tonight, Princess.” Truly, she did look stunning in her bright red ball gown which made her stand out from everyone else. She wore a slash with the colors of her kingdoms flag on it.

“Trying to sweeten me up so I could get in bed with you tonight, Prince Liam?”

I smiled. “That wasn’t my plan but if that’s how you want to end this night, I don’t mind at all.” I winked.

She rolled her eyes playfully. “Not a chance. Are you enjoying yourself so far?”

I looked around at the party. “I enjoy every second of talking to you.”

“Yet I don’t have your full attention, why is that?”

I looked back at Sofia. “I apologize I’m trying to find someone.”

“Clearly. Who?”

“Prince Nyx of Balemont.”

She laughed. “He’s not a hard one to find.” She pointed at a tall black haired man that was standing next to a wall, socializing with a half empty glass of red wine in his hand.

He looked like he didn’t want to be here. He was doing a good job at hiding it, but I’ve had that look in my eyes many times.

“I’m sorry, Princess. I’ll be back in a moment.” I didn’t wait for her response before making my way over to Prince Nyx.

“Good evening, I’m Prince Liam of Avalon. You must be Prince Nyx.” I extended my hand. He not only didn’t take my hand to shake it, but he also wasn’t looking at me at all. “Um…hello?” I wave my hand in his face, as rude as it was I had to get his attention somehow.

“Good evening.” He finally looks at me and extends his hand. I grab it and shake it. “I’m Prince Nyx Lada of the Balemont kingdom.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Prince Nyx. I’ve heard so much about you.” I’m definitely lying. The only thing I’ve heard about Prince Nyx is that his kingdom is falling and he’s somewhat of a perfect prince. Although our families are aligned, this is the first we’ve met formally. We’ve had no reason to speak at any of the other balls and or formal events.

He nodded but still, I could see he wasn’t fully paying attention to me. “I can’t say the same.” He said, taking me by surprise as he finished the remains of his wine. “Excuse me, I have to leave right now.”

My smile dropped as he pushed past me, placing his empty glass in my hand. Did he just leave? Is this how Sofia felt when I left before? Did she also get this pit of anger building in her stomach?

I turn to see where the hell he could’ve gone. What’s more important than forming friendships? Who would’ve thought the perfect prince was such a rude prick.

He walked over to a girl, his steps were hesitant but hopeful. Did he fancy her? I mean who wouldn’t. He was approaching Lady Augustus of the Veeral kingdom, the most peaceful kingdom in the entire realm.

She had long beautiful brunette hair and chocolate brown eyes. An oval face, making her overall features soft and feminine in every way. She was wearing a big beautiful white ball gown with green floral patterns at the bottom of it. She wore floral hair clips in her hair, keeping her hair out of her face but also going with her dress nicely.

She wore a diamond necklace around her neck which looked like she cherished greatly. She was the definition of beauty and there’s no wonder Prince Nyx walked over there, but to do it in the middle of our conversation? It left an unsettling feeling in my stomach that I’ve come to know as anger.

We avoided each other for the rest of the ball. Every time I looked over at him he was either standing by himself or in conversations that he wasn’t fully attentive for. It felt good knowing I wasn’t the only one the Prince ignored like a peasant.

Dear diary,

today I met prince nyx of Balemont and was ignored. I don’t like him.

Chapter 4

Nyx’s pov:

My head was all over the place, I still couldn’t function properly. I was trying to be me, to give everyone myself yet I couldn’t. I couldn’t when I was looking at the love of my life walk around ignoring the life out of me.

For the entire night I couldn’t remember any conversation I had. I couldn’t remember any requests made, any promises made. The only thing I wanted was to talk to her and maybe tell her I am ready, I am ready to make the decision. A part of me wanted to choose her and leave everything behind.

I tried to talk to her, she was smiling but refused to talk to me privately. Away from the party, away from everyone and without saying more she made her way to her father who guided her to a dance on the dance floor.

I swiped a glass of wine off of a tray that was passing by me gulping it all down. Maybe if I drink enough I will find the courage…maybe-

A hand wrapped around my elbow. The Queen held my hand and with a smile still plastered on her lips she said, “You should be interacting with Prince Liam.” She took the glass from my hand. “This is our chance to save the kingdom-”

“Will anything I do ever be enough?” I got out of her touch and excused myself from the ball. I will have to apologize tomorrow but at least for once in my life let me get a night to myself. I am losing the one person I have ever loved, this should be enough. Out of all the sacrifices I have made this is the biggest one.

Ever since I was young I was groomed into the man I am right now. To please my people, to always listen to them, the manners needed, to stay quiet when my opinion is not needed. I have always known my place. I have always been what they want. Turned into who they want me to be.

I sighed looking up in the sky, wishing and hoping for a different life. A life where I can be who I want to be. Where I can love who I want to love and not be apologetic about it.

“Prince Nyx.” I took in a deep breath before turning my head around towards the voice. On instinct, a smile got plastered on my lips as I stared down the bulky man standing a few feet from me.

“Lord Selo, a pleasure. It’s been a long time.”

“A long time indeed, when I left you were half the age your are now.” I laughed even when nothing was amusing. “Now you are a fully grown man.” I nodded having no words to add. I’m always a sweet talker when I need something from someone. Persuading is one of my traits but right now I would need nothing from this man. “I have heard the news about your kingdom, my apologies.”

“Thank you.”

“We all kind of knew the Belmonts would kneel down to the Avalons. I guess the time has finally come.” I decided to laugh it off, trying to not get offended. If it were me I wouldn’t be kneeling to Avalons, it’s my father who is bound to this alliance as if his life depended on it.

“You can never know when change is about to attack you hard-”

“Have you heard what the Avalons are planning to do to your kingdom?” Lord Selo whispered, getting closer to me. “They are planning on making you marry their son, Liam.”

“I didn’t know.” I spoke with bitterness with a slightly fake surprised tone to keep it real.

“If you merge with the Avalons, won’t you lose other alliances? Other kingdoms will cut the Belmonts out, it’s a wrong move.”

“You don’t say.” He was about to continue, having missed the boredom in my voice so I decided to cut him off. “How is your wife?”

“She is doing fine, she sent her regards.”

“Thank you.” I smiled as I held out my hand. “It has been a long night, I need to get some rest.” As I was escorting Lord Selo back to the party I watched Lady Augustus get into the car with her father. I watched it leave until it disappeared leaving me with a heavy heart.

The Avalons had assigned us to our rooms, so with heavy footsteps I made my way to my room. As I took off my clothes I knew tomorrow was the beginning of something big, something more.

I had to prepare myself for it, after cleaning myself up I walked up to the window and glanced down the bright kingdom of Avalon.

For the entire night, my mind wandered everywhere trying to escape the reality that waited for me the next day.

The night was long, yet short because the sun sprung up into the sky before I could get myself completely ready for it. ‘There was no more than this.’ I went into the bathroom to take a shower once again and I had just finished putting on my clothes when a knock came to my door.

I opened it to find a valet with dark hair, he took a step back after gasping then bowed. “Good morning Your Royal Highness, I came to invite you to breakfast with His Majesty, the King and Her Majesty, the Queen.”

“Alright.” I closed the door and waited for him to lead the way yet he stammered. “Um-um breakfast is in twenty minutes. I came to wake you up…”

“I’m already awake.”

“Yes Your Royal Highness.” He bowed as he started leading the way through the large mansion. My eyes lazily loitered around until we walked to the gardens. A table was already set but no one was there yet. Good, I like being on time. I took my seat and waited for the others to show up sooner or later I didn’t mind.

I was still enjoying the morning sun when my parents arrived hand in hand with their valet leading the way. I stood up and greeted them before we all took our seats. Just a few seconds and the Queen and King of Avalon arrived in their formal clothes. Next was the prince and princess of Avalon.

With pleasant greetings, we all took our seats once again and waited for one party to arrive.

I knew once he came out then it would be the beginning of everything and the end of a lot of things. A part of me wishes he didn’t show. I didn’t know him, but I was praying he didn’t show. But if I didn’t have a choice did he?

Dear Diary

,

Today I

make

plans

of my

marriage.

Chapter 5

Liam pov:

I ran down the stairs as fast as I could. Of course I was late to breakfast, leaving everyone waiting on me. This morning I thought it was good idea to get in a quicky before breakfast and it ended up lasting longer than it should’ve. On top of that the girl left a hickey on my neck for the entire world to see. God knows I don’t like having evidence of my sexual activities on my body, and the royal family of Balemont stayed over last night, meaning they would have breakfast with us.

I was walking around with a massive hickey on my neck and to make it worse I was late, which would bring even more attention to me, and my neck. I caught my breath before walking in the garden.

As I expected, all eyes were on me and on my neck. I cleared my throat. “Good morning everyone.”

“Looks like a good morning indeed.” My brother said, motioning to my neck. I kicked him under the table, his grunt in pain made it obvious what just happened.

My mother glared at me and my brother, then glared at my neck even harder. Her eyes finally left my neck when the severs came in, serving our plates.

I glanced over at Nyx, who was sitting to the left of me. His eyes were on the plate in front of him with an unreadable expression on his face. I wanted to ask if he was okay but then the memory of lasts nights events flashed through my mind and I got angry all over again.

Maybe I should ask if he talked to the lady that he was dying to talk to. I cleared my throat, accidentally catching everyone’s attention once again. “So did you talk to the lady?” I asked him.

He glanced at me, then quickly glanced towards his parents, who also seemed interested in our conversation although they tried to hide it and keep neutral expressions. “Yes I did, thank you for your concern.” He replied with a smile.

It was clearly a fake smile. He might fool others but as someone who’s been giving fake smiles when talking to someone for as long as I can remember, I know what a fake smile looks like, and how to make them appear genuine.

This seems like a topic he doesn’t want to talk about but being the asshole I am, I decided to say something else. “Really? It seemed like she wasn’t too interested in talking to you.” I took a sip of my coffee but I didn’t miss the way his eye twitched.

Prince Nyx glanced around the table with a laugh. “Not everyone is interested in this conversation.” He glared at me, seemingly unable to hide his irritation at this point.

“But I am, Prince Nyx. So please tell me, how did your conversation go?” Of course I saw how irritated he was. Serves him right for leaving me to go speak with someone else at my own ball. As if I was some dirty peasant. Some lowlife he couldn’t spare a second glance to.

“It went very well.” He gritted out, barely holding his anger back.

I smiled at his anger. “That’s good, I’m glad you were able to talk to her. Although it wasn’t very princely of you to do what you did.” I said, not elaborating because he already knew what I was referring to.

“I don’t know what you mean, but my apologies.”

I licked my lips. “I’m sure you don’t, Prince Nyx. I’m sure you don’t.” I looked over at his parents who were looking at us curiously. “How are you this morning? Were you comfortable last night?” I plastered the same fake smile on my face that Nyx wore mere minutes ago.

Nyx sighed loudly, causing me to glance at him and his parents to glare at him before responding. “It was a pleasant night, we felt very welcomed.” The Queen replied and the King nodded while drinking juice. My mother smiled at her comment.

I smiled. “I’m glad. If there’s anything you need, please feel free to let us know.” I looked over at Nyx. “How’d you sleep, Prince Nyx.” I asked, accidentally letting a hint of amusement slip through.

“My night was quiet, unlike yours.” He motioned to my neck.

“Oh it was anything but.” I winked. “Did we wake you?” I pouted.

“I don’t think one second can wake anyone up, and your screams were easy to drown out.” Did he just call me a minute man?

“You-” I was about to say something but my mother chimed in.

“I’m glad to see you two getting along, but don’t you think this conversation is a little….vulgar for the breakfast table?”

My eyes snapped to my mom before going back to Nyx. I kept my eyes on him as I responded to my mother. “You’re right mother, Nyx and I apologize, right?”

“My apologies your Majesties, that wasn’t my best behavior, I deeply apologize.” He ignored the glares of his parents as he eyes focused on the scones and assorted fruits on his plate.

As I took a bite out of my avocado toast my mom spoke. “There’s a reason the royal family of Balemont stayed over last night.” I hummed. Of course there was a reason.

The queen of Balemont looked over at my mother. “We are glad you invited us to your kingdom to discuss the matters further, with our princes present.”

I smiled awkwardly. “What matters?” I looked over at Nyx, whose shoulders stiffened. “What are they talking about?” He seemed like he knew exactly where this conversation was going while I was completely in the dark.

Nyx refused to reply with a stiff body and a look of dread. My eyebrows furrowed at the lack of knowledge. “Mother. What are you talking about?”

My mother looked over at my father. “As you know, the kingdom of Balemont is falling.”

I nodded. “Of course and we’ll do everything in our power to help.”

“We have already found a solution.” The entire table looked at them, waiting for more information, yet the Queen of Balemont didn’t add as she gave my mother the honors. “Your Majesty, you should be the one to inform them of the news.”

My mother looked hesitant at first but nodded nevertheless. “To save the kingdom of Balemont, we will be merging our nations in an arranged marriage.”

I smiled awkwardly. “Mother, Luca is already married to Princess Olivia, there is no one left in our family for you to marry to Prince Nyx.”

My mother eyed me. “There is one other person.”

I looked around. “Who is it?” Maybe there’s an illegitimate child we didn’t know about. If so, where is she?

She motioned to me. “You’ll be marrying prince Nyx and joining our nations.” My heart dropped.

There’s no way she’s serious. I dropped my avocado toast and laughed. “There’s no way.” I laughed even harder. “I can’t marry him.”

I was hysterical at this point. “I can’t. I’m sorry I can’t marry him.” I stood up.

My father stood up and slammed his hands on the table, causing the glass to jump and me to flinch. “Sit down.”

I sat down and my father glared at me as he sat back down. “I can’t marry him father.” I whispered.

“You can and you will.”

“But won’t we lose alliances with this marriage? Not everyone is accepting of gay marriages.” I tried talking my way out of it.

The king of Balemont chimed in, “It’s true, we will lose alliances but with a marriage between both kingdoms, we will be stronger than all kingdoms. Our protection, finances, and jobs for our people will all improve. This improvement is better than losing a few alliances here and there. Even if we lose the important ones, they will need us again.” Nyx shook his head but didn’t say anything.

I looked at Nyx, completely ignoring his father. “You knew about this?” I ask.

Nyx’s eyes were still on his plate. “Yes.” He looked at me. “This is for our people, not you so stop being selfish.”

I huffed out a laugh. “Selfish? You’re the one who outright ignored me at the ball when I tried being cordial. You calling me selfish is really rich. It’s fucking laughable actually.”

“Can you be civil and watch your language.”

I looked in his eyes, they showed nothing but irritation. Is he being serious? “Fuck.” I said just to rile him up.

“Language Liam.” My head snapped to my parents.

“Liam-” Olivia spoke softly.

“Liam we all know how this is going to end, just accept it and stop fighting.” I looked at my brother. “Nyx is right, you are being selfish. There are other lives at stake. Other kingdoms, other nations. You have to do this for your nation and theirs.”

Am I really being selfish? I looked over at Nyx who refused to make eye contact with me. This is something everyone but me seems to want.

Maybe I am being selfish, but this is my life and I’m allowed to be selfish. Even if I accept this marriage without a fight its not like it’ll earn me brownie points with the rest of the kingdom. I’ll still be known as the failure prince.

I stood up. “May I be excused?” I asked but stormed off before I received an answer. I can’t do this.

Dear diary,

Why me? Why Prince Nyx of Balemont?

Chapter 6

Nyx’s pov:

I never thought Prince Liam would dare stand up in front of everyone and just curse, or even raise his voice like that. So unprincely of him but I applaud him for that, I would never dare raise my voice to my parents and I am glad he did so.

At least he released his anger and frustration about this marriage to them. I wouldn’t dare. Even my futile attempt to try and rebel ended in me apologizing and actually feeling terrible about my decisions.

No matter how much he tried to speak out, it will all end in him accepting because we have no choice whatsoever. It’s better to stay quiet and go with the flow. “Prince Nyx.” Princess Olivia called me after Prince Liam just stormed out childishly. I replied politely. “Prince Liam tends to not see the bigger picture right away. Could you please go talk to him?”

“Yes, you should.” My mother, the Queen encouraged me when I was ready to frown at the request. I don’t know him that well, why would I be the one to talk to him? Why not his brother or parents or something?

“I would love to but I don’t know him…I don’t think there is much I can do.” I tried to turn them down politely.

“Your Majesty spoke of you as the Prince of persuasion, I bet it will work on my son as well.” The Queen replied with a smile. I knew I was trapped and the look on both my parents’ faces was enough to make me know I couldn’t turn down the offer twice.

So I smiled while pushing my chair back. “May I know where he is?” The Queen motioned to one valet to help take me where Prince Liam was.

After a bow and a goodbye, I followed the valet while already dreading the conversation. Prince Liam seemed like someone who it would be hard to have a persuasive conversation with. My eyes found him leaning on the balcony up on the second floor.

The valet led me inside the palace up into the unlocked room. With strong strides I made my way to him, standing a few feet from him I said, “hey.” He didn’t look away from his kingdom.

“If you’re here to tell me how selfish I am save it. I already know.”

“Then I guess you will make this conversation short by going back down and telling them you now see the bigger picture.” Liam laughed glancing back at me, his eyes filled with amusement with a hint of doubt.

“Is this how you persuade people, by telling them what to do?” He seemed like he was undermining my authority or calling me unpersuasive but why need that with him.

“With the way you stormed out of breakfast, it showed how much you lack maturity. Immature princes need to be told what to do.”

Liam’s smile faded his eyes moving up and down my body. He slightly cocked his head to the side. “And you think you can tell me what to do?”

“You think this behavior is gonna make the situation disappear?” I scoffed, I am normally patient with people but for some reason I can’t be with him. “Is this your first day at being a prince? Stop wasting both of our time.”

“No but maybe if I throw a tantrum like the child you think I am, I could stall this a little longer.” I laughed shaking my head at his ridiculous attempt to escape this reality.

“Is this how you usually get what you want?” If it is then lucky him.

“Not usually, but I do find it amusing to see you irritated. You’re going to pop a vein if you stay any longer.” His eyes suddenly measured me in a way that showed little respect. “Plus I don’t want to marry you, you’re fucking rude.” Which part of this got him thinking we were marrying each other because of want ?

This was happening because we have no choice. He’s unlucky he’s marrying me but so am I with marrying him. “I know how to accept the truth and not try futile tactics to escape the inevitable.” Even if I had tried and failed he doesn’t need to know that. Right now he is talking to the Nyx that has accepted this. “When you’re ready to grow up come outside.”

I turned to walk away when he spoke through gritted teeth. “I really wish you would stop walking away from me Nyx “ I stopped with a sigh turning back to him.

I decided to talk to him as a big person and stop my cheap talks of how immature he is. “Here’s the thing Prince Liam.” I walked back to the balcony. “We do this, we merge the kingdoms, we become Kings but we still get to do what we want separately. Just because we are getting married doesn’t mean both our worlds are over.”

“But isn’t it? It’s over for my sex life that is damn for sure! No one is gonna want a married man, bound by contract or not marriage is marriage.” That hit close to home because the love of my life left me because the love of my life left me because of this marriage.

“A marriage between us can never work why can’t you see that! You’re thinking about this in a business way but what if in years you wake up and fall in love with someone else. You can’t marry them because our parents forced us to get married and divorced will be the end of both kingdoms.”

I understood him completely but I didn’t need years to fall in love, I was already in love. “You say I am being selfish but you’re not even thinking about what this could mean for the two of us. Fuck the kingdom, think about what this could mean for your future Prince Nyx.”

I walked even closer leaning my elbow on the rails with my eyes at the view ahead of us. “I look at this in a business way because its the only way I get power.” I lifted my hand and pointed. “Look at all that.” Prince Liam looks over. “With marriage all of that becomes ours. We get to make the rules, a divorce can happen. Trust me, I will make sure it happens.”

Liam studied my face as I looked down onto the kingdom with a focused but fascinated look in his eyes. I don’t know him but he looked like ruling was not his cup of tea.

He leaned over the rails and sighed. “I don’t want power. I won’t make a good king.” He looked over at me. “but you, although I hate to admit it …you’d make a great king.” He sighed again. “Is this something that you really want? Are you okay with going through with this marriage? Even if it means we’re bound together forever? Because we both know divorce isn’t going to happen, although you seem to believe you can change things, that’s one thing that we can’t change seeing as it would mean failure for both our kingdoms. Is this marriage something you want to do? Fuck what your parents want. Be selfish. Choose you. What do you want?”

“Choose you.” I whispered, remembering what Lady Augustus told me. Even if I choose myself right now it will come with a great regret. The way I see this is to become what I have worked hard for. I laughed looking in the distance. “I have taken enough. I can’t get out of this no matter what, but…I will choose me.”

Dear Diary,

A marriage of business begins

Chapter 7

Liam pov:

Nyx left me on the balcony by myself. I thought about what he said. “It’s the only way I get power.” Do I want power? I’ve lived my entire life thinking I would never rule, -not in this lifetime anyway- and I was okay with that.

I understand how selfish I’m being but this is my life too. Unlike Nyx and the rest of the royal family, I don’t live for the kingdom. I am the youngest prince in the Avalon kingdom and ruling had never even been in the equation when I have perfectly healthy parents and a brother who would make the perfect king.

Will the people of Avalon and Balemont even accept me as their king? I thought about Nyx, as the first born prince he was groomed at a young age to become king.

Am I really going to throw all of his hard work away and let him rule a nation that will eventually fall? Knowing I could have a part and combine both nations and have him rule as the great king he was made to be.

I’ve made my decision.

I turned away from the view of the kingdom and made my way back to the garden. Nyx was there sitting at the table, in a small conversation with everyone else. The breakfast plates were no longer at the table.

All eyes were on me when I entered the garden and sat at the table, next to Nyx. “I’ll do it. I’ll marry Prince Nyx.” I looked over at nyx and nodded, making sure this is what he wanted.

Nyx gave me a single nod, his father looked at him proudly. My mother clasped her hands with an excited smile on her face. “The wedding has to happen before the coronation. After the coronation, the Kings and Queens of Avalon and Balemont will become the council of Avalont and you, the Princes of Avalon and Balemont will become the Kings of Avalont, the new combined nation of Avalon and Balemont.”

My mother looked at the queen of Balemont excitedly. “We have a wedding to plan!”

The queen of Balemont smiled. “Oh and let’s not forget about the engagement ball.”

“Prince Nyx and I are happy to help with the planning.” I smiled. “Right Prince Nyx?”

Nyx glanced at me. “I think they know more about this kind of thing than us…how about we let them do it.” He gritted out the last part.

I only smiled. “It’s our wedding I think we should have a say in it, right?”

The Queen of Balemont nodded. “He’s right.”

I grabbed Nyx’s hand into mine and put it on the table, showing everyone that we were holding hands. “See he’s really excited to be planning our future together. Upstairs we even agreed to go tux shopping together in the morning.” I turned to nyx. “Remember?” I smiled amused at his irritation.

The horror on Nyx’s face was even more amusing. “Um..um did I?”

“Yes?” I looked at him in fake confusion. “Are you feeling alright?” I put my hand on his forehead to check for a temperature that I knew he didn’t have. I didn’t miss the way he glared at me as I did so.

Nyx abruptly stood up. “Can we have a moment?” Without waiting for a reply he dragged me out of the garden by my hand. “Aren’t you getting a little too bold?” He said, dropping my hand and turning to me when we were out of eyesight and earshot.

“Very bold, but your reactions when you’re put on the spot are so amusing I can’t help it.” I laughed.

“Is this a joke to you?” Nyx knitted his eyebrows together like he had one thousand things running through his head at once. “Suddenly holding my hand, suddenly too ‘okay’ with this.”

He’s overthinking it.

Nyx pointed towards the garden where we left our family. “Are you trying to sell this to them? They- we can all see through that stupid act of yours. Now you’re going to go back in there and cancel the plans you’ve just made.” He folded his arms in a way that made it seem like I didn’t have a choice.

I smirked. “No.” I stepped closer to him. “You’re going to go along with the plans I’ve just made. You know why?”

He looked me up and down. “Why?”

“Because you’re a people pleaser. I can see right through you. You’re going to go out there with me and when I cancel the plans you’ll see the disappointed look on our parents’ faces and you’re going to change your mind, because that’s just who you are. You can’t be selfish and make decisions for yourself even when you find yourself in situations like this one.” I looked him in his eyes. “Tell me I’m wrong, Nyx.”

“Congratulations, you saw through me! So you decided to thrust me into such a situation in order to get what you want?” Nyx pinched his nose. “Do what you want, just know you’re wasting both of our time.”

“I always get what I want.” I smiled. “I’d happily waste my time if it means wasting yours as well. I’ll see you tomorrow at the tux fitting, Prince Nyx . Don’t be late.” I winked to infuriate him even more before walking away.

“Wait!” Nyx called after me. I turned around. “What am I supposed to tell our parents?”

I shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” I turned to leave.

Dear diary,

I’m engaged and I think I enjoy annoying Prince Nyx more than I should.

Chapter 8

Nyx’s pov:

I walked back to the room assigned to me, dreading the fact that I must stay behind for several days before I get to go back to Balemont. I have to stay all because Liam told everyone I wanted to get involved with the engagement ball and tux shopping.

All those things can be done without us, just get our measurements and then boom the tuxedos are made. Now Liam is making it a bit more complicated, why should princes be involved with such futile matters?

We have so much to do before the coronation, here I am staying in Avalon trying to help arrange things that I should just be attending. A knock on the door had me fixing my clothes before saying, “Come in.” Both my parents came in already dressed for their leave back to Balemont.

“Everything worked out well.” Dad came and gave me a hug. I was uncomfortable in it because it’s his way of telling me how proud of me he was. In the past it was the best, to know I pleased him -because yes I am a people pleaser- yet right now even if I did what I did to please them, I didn’t want him to feel proud.

“Yes it did.” Mom chimed in tapping my shoulder as Dad pulled back. “You will be back home after the tux fitting, but before that Prince Liam has decided to show you around during your stay.”

I hid my shock well, neither of them noticed that I was already running inside. I smiled with a nod not trusting my voice at the moment. “The way you not only made Prince Liam agree but also befriended him is a truly impressive son.” Dad smiled boldly. “Prince Liam is nothing like you, he was raised as an extra Prince in case his brother couldn’t rule, so his ways are different from yours.” I nodded “Now that he is about to rule, we all know who the true king of Avalont will be”

“I will do my best.”

“I know you will son.” He gave my shoulder a tap with a wide smile. His eyes of a proud King and dad my heart felt pleased for having made him so proud he was looking at me like that.

I guess I can never escape who I am.

“Oh and remember,” Dad said turning back to me before he could reach the door. “We need them more than they need us, try to please Prince Liam and if possible make him fall in love…I doubt he has felt something like that.”

“Will do.” I smiled as I watched their back leave the room. I tugged at my head with a loud exhale. When I am in love it’s immature but if I have to make Prince Liam fall then it will be ’ investive’

I sighed sitting back down trying to rack my head, trying to fight the feeling I would feel if I did this and he told me, “You’re the best son”, like he always does every time I achieve something. But when will it be enough? When will nothing be needed from me and I will get to be in peace?

Pleasing today will need you to please again the next day.

I went to take off my clothes to shower when a knock and an entry later appeared. I let go of my shirt so it fell back down as I looked at Liam. “Did you need something?” I was fighting myself to even bear to be with him.

“Yes actually. We have an hour or two before the tux fitting and I’m starved. I was also told to show you around during your stay, something about having you get to know Avalon.” He smiled. “Aren’t you excited to spend the day with me?”

Why can’t I just be alone? “Do we need to do anything?”

“Yes, and you’re going to enjoy it. You have an hour to get dressed.” Liam walked out and I couldn’t help but groan in frustration. Now my shower that was supposed to calm me down became dreadful because I had to go out with Liam.

But what did I expect, for him to leave me alone, get married, become King, and not do anything else with him?

I took a shower and afterward dressed in an off-white sweater collared shirt that zips up only at the top and white casual pants.

I put on some cologne to smell better and I was done before the hour. I decided to take a walk around and avoid the boredom only to spot Liam down the stairs talking to someone.

I groaned and was about to go back, deciding on staying inside instead of going out but he spotted me. With a deep breath I made my way downstairs and met up with him.

“Well it took you long enough, your royal highness .” this should be considered a vacation from all my prince duties but look where I am spending my time.

“It’s because I would prefer to stay in my room.” I was already feeling exhausted. He does that, he squeezes the life out of me.

“Well that’s too bad because you’re stuck with me for the next five days.” The pride in his voice made me want to groan. Why is he so happy and proud right now?

“Good thing you know it’s bad.” I snarled but then sighed. “Where are going, I want to get over with this right now.”

“Food. I’m going to take you to the best restaurant in Avalon. They serve the best pancakes you’ve ever tasted, guaranteed.” Food? I don’t have an appetite.

“I am not hungry.”

“Ice cream?”

I stared at him. “I am not a child, I don’t eat ice cream. Too much sugar, it’s not good for you.”

Liam looked at me in disbelief. “Have you ever tried ice cream?”

I have never but I know it’s loaded with sugar. “I-I don’t need to try it.” I sighed. “I don’t need to try it to know it’s for kids.”

Liam grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the palace. The driver opened the door to the royal black limo with the Avalon flag on it. Liam pushed me into the car first then got in.

I looked at him in disbelief but said nothing as the limo started moving. I didn’t say a thing, just outright ignored him the all way.

It wasn’t long until he told the limo driver to stop the car right next to an ice cream stand in a park with a lot of people. We were already gaining attention from the limo and then he told me to get out. “Liam no.” I said sternly.

Liam grabbed my hand once again, getting out of the car hand in hand. As soon as we exited the car there were murmurs and pictures taken of us, I tried to hide my face. Liam continued holding my hand as he ordered the ice cream. “What kind would you like, Prince Nyx?”

“This is too childish, I can’t eat ice cream with everyone watching.” I whispered in his ear already nervous with eyes. I have never been in such a situation, ever. My people always saw me in a proper manner, not on my way to grab ice cream hand in hand with another Prince.

I felt like I wanted to disappear from here, maybe shamelessly run away but that would be more embarrassing than actually having the ice cream. “Did you say rocky road? That’s a great choice.” Liam’s eyes showed how amused he was as he ordered our ice cream. Vanilla for him and rocky road for me. He finally let go of my hand to take both ice cream cones and handed one to me.

I took it to make this encounter shorter than it should have been because I knew he would not give up. “Now can we go?” I tried to rush him.

“We can’t eat ice cream in the car, it gets messy.” Liam began walking away from the ice cream stand and down a path in the park, where hundreds of Avalon civilians were watching him. I had no choice but to follow seeing as I didn’t know where I was and I didn’t want eyes to be on just me.

“Are we going to find a seat?” I asked, “It is improper to eat while walking.”

Liam glanced at me and mumbled. “Sure.” He walked over to a bench in front of a water fountain and patted the vacant spot next to him.

I took the seat, and my eyes moved to all the eyes on us. “I am usually used to the eyes, but not like this.”

“What’s different about these eyes?” Liam asked his eyes moving from all the people to me.

I shrugged not really ready to indulge in everything. “I am always ready for them to see me as a proper mature prince, not me holding an ice cream.” I like my people to see me as someone who is mature, to look up to me. This felt like I was doing what they usually do, eat sugary things to calm their empty hearts.

“Speaking of, you should eat it before it melts onto your clothes. Then you really wouldn’t want to be seen.” Liam said before licking his ice cream. I released a shocked gasp, causing him to chuckle. Maybe they should have given us spoons. We have to lick this and in public.

I held a hand over my mouth glancing at Liam before whispering. “I can’t.” I offered it to him. “You seem to like it, you should enjoy this one too.”

Liam took the ice cream out of my hand. “Thank-” I tried to thank him for not pushing yet my words were cut off by him putting the ice cream cone in my mouth. Liam doubled over in laughter while I sat there in pure shock as pictures snapped.

I have never been this embarrassed in my entire life, I felt like I should hide and never come out ever again.

Dear Diary,

I hate Prince Liam.

Chapter 9

Liam pov:

I was laughing so hard it had me gasping for air. Nyx’s annoyed but embarrassed expression didn’t make it any better.

“Look! You’re trending!” I laughed even harder as I pushed my phone in his face to show him the headline from Avalon Times.

‘Prince Nyx of Balemont enjoys a sweet treat in a rather interesting way’, the article read. It went on to talk about how we exited the royal limo hand in hand and even sat down at the Fountain of Avalon, where couples throw a coin in the fountain together to ensure love and happiness for a lifetime.

Nyx held the phone in his hand with wide eyes. “This- this was because of you. I have never had something like this written about me.” He shook his head. “How-this is all your fault.”

I hummed, taking my phone back. “You’ve never had a bad article written about you?”

“Never.” Nyx’s leg started bouncing. “How do I even deal with something like this. It’s embarrassing. Should I try to explain what happened so they don’t misunderstand?”

“It’s just ice cream, not the end of the world.” I laughed.

“It might as well be the end of the world.” Nyx looked at my phone. “Never thought I would ever be trending in Avalon Times with  such a misunderstanding.”

I laughed, pocketing my phone. “You’ll get used to it. Just wait until Royal News hears about this. The perfect prince enjoying ice cream.” I fake gasped. “Scandalous.”

“You speak insouciantly, have you had something like this written about you?”

I laughed. “I’ve had much worse things written about me.”

He tilted his head. “A lot of the time or more?”

“More often than not. The paparazzi caught me getting my dick sucked in the bathroom of Kisses.” I smiled, recalling the memory.

The shocked gasp that came from Nyx was laughable. “That’s vulgar, couldn’t you find a private space?”

I shrugged. “I think the thrill of getting caught….excites me.”

“Are you that nonchalant of what they all think of you?”

I shrugged again. “It’s what they’ve always thought of me. The extra prince who does nothing right, so why try?”

“What do you mean by that?” He pushed.

I looked away, suddenly feeling vulnerable. I’ve had sex with so many people because, truth be told, I’m afraid to be alone but I’m also afraid of being with someone. I can’t give my all to someone because I’m afraid that they’ll eventually leave me, so I come off as this nonchalant, emotionally unavailable playboy prince because that’s what they expect that’s what’s kept my heart intact all these years. That mask is the reason the articles written about me, and why what the people say about me doesn’t bother me.

I looked back at Nyx. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“I think I should be alone, if you don’t mind.”

I knocked on the window of the limo, letting the driver know I was ready to get out now. “You have five minutes.” I said before getting out of the limo and walking into the tuxedo shop.

The shop keeper greeted me. “Good afternoon, your highness.” He bowed. “I am very honored to have you visit my shop.”

I smiled. “The honor is all mine, I’ve heard great things about your shop.”

His eyes widened and his cheeks flushed. “W- what were you looking for, my Prince.”

I looked around his shop. “I am newly engaged and my fiancé and I were looking for custom made tuxedos for our engagement ball.”

He hummed. “There’s a rumor going around that your fiancé is a man, not only a man but the Prince Nyx of Balemont.”

I looked the shop keeper up and down. “The rumor is true but the royal families have yet to announce it, so please keep quiet about it.”

He cleared his throat. “Ri- right. Well um….what were you looking for?”

I hummed. “What do you recommend?”

He walked over to some fabrics and laid them out on a table. “This blue has just came in. It’s the perfect blue, inspired by the Balemont kingdom. I heard of our alliance with them and put in an order right away.” I inspected the blue. It would look good on Nyx. Not only would it match his black hair and storm grey eyes perfectly, but it’s also the color of his kingdom’s flag.

The shop keeper pulled another fabric. “This is our Avalon red. It’s very popular around here seeing as it matches our flag.” He smiled proudly. I nodded. It was definitely the perfect red.

“Now if you’re looking for something traditional.” He frowned as he pulled out a white fabric, causing me to raise my eyebrows. “I’m sorry, Prince Liam, but which one of you two would be wearing white?”

The question caught me off guard because I hadn’t thought about it. Which one of us would walk down the aisle?

Just then the bell rang, letting us know someone was entering the shop. It had been exactly five minutes. God forbid the perfect prince be late for one time in his entire life.

“I’m glad you’re here.” I said without looking at Nyx. “We’re having a bit of a problem deciding.” I peel my eyes off of the fabrics and look at him.

His cheeks were as red as his now blood shot eyes. My heart dropped. Was he crying?

I turned to the shop keeper. “Can you give us the room?” He was hesitant but seeing as I was a prince there wasn’t much he could do.

“I- there’s a dressing room in the back, I’m sure that’ll be more private.” I turned to Nyx and grabbed his hand, leading him into the back room. As soon as I closed the door behind us I pulled him into a hug that he looked like he needed.

The tears began flowing almost immediately after I pulled him into a hug. I tightened the hug and he cried even more. I’d never hugged anybody before.

“What am I going to do?” Nyx whispered.

I ran my fingers through his jet black hair as he tightened his grip on me. “I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

I truly was sorry if I had known he’d react like this to an article written about him I would have never done that. Let alone tease him about it either. I had no idea Nyx had never been in a situation where the paparazzi published a bad article about him.

“I’ll handle it.” I assured him. “I’ll do everything to make sure the article gets taken down. I promise.” I felt a lump in my throat as I tried not to let this get to me as well. I fucked up.

Having an article written about you, even if it’s something as silly as eating ice cream could hurt, because they judge you for every little thing you do. Is that why he tries so hard to be perfect? I might like messing with him and irritating him but not to the point where he cries.

Ever since our conversation on the balcony I’ve seen a different side of him, not the perfect prince of Balemont, but the real him, Nyx Lada of Balemont. I don’t like seeing him get emotional like this. I get this weird pain in my heart from it. I hate it.

“I’m sorry, I’m not usually like this.” Nyx apologized while pulling back.

I pulled him closer, but not into a hug. I wiped his tears with my thumb. “Why are you apologizing for crying? You can’t always be strong, Prince Nyx. It’s okay to cry, it shows that you’re human and that you have emotions too. For a second there I was thinking you were a robot.” I joked, hoping to make him smile.

“I don’t cry in front of people, I handle it myself very well just give me a second.” Nyx turned around wiped his face and took in deep breaths before turning back to me with a clearly fake smile plastered on his face. “Now…we should get started with the tux fitting right?”

He’s obviously not fine and I wanted nothing more than to push it. “I can see right through you, Nyx. You may fool the rest of the kingdom, but you can’t fool me. I’ve had that look in my eyes before.” I pulled him into another hug, not only because I knew he needed it, but also because in a way, I needed it too.

“We are not the same, let it go.” He pushed me, hard.

I tried to hide the crack in my voice as I spoke. “Right.” I opened the door and walked out, leaving Nyx in the dressing room alone. I don’t care if he follows me or not.

He ended up following me, but now there was an awkward tension in the air.

The shop keeper walked over to us with an excited smile. “Are you two ready for your engagement ball?” I nodded, not really feeling like talking.

I walked over to the fabrics I was looking at earlier. “ Prince Nyx .“ I said his name like it was poison on my tongue. “We were deciding on who was wearing white, so choose.” I didn’t hide the lack of emotion in my voice. I honestly don’t want to be here anymore. I’m starting to regret these plans I’ve gotten us into.

“Anything, I just want to leave as soon as possible.” His tone was irritated.

I scoffed. “Then go.” I motioned to the door. “Take the limo for fucks sake.”

“I wouldn’t be here if you had kept your mouth shut.” Nyx was about to storm out but he turned back. “You know what everything…every bad thing that is happening to me is because of you and your lack of empathy and consideration. Always doing what you feel like in the moment not thinking about the pain you cause the people around you. Always so selfish and immature!”

I turned around. “Selfish and immature?” I scoffed. “I took responsibility for that article! I apologized! I consoled you! And what did you do? You pushed me away!” I turned away from him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Prince Nyx.” I tried keeping my voice monotone as I spoke, but you couldn’t hide the slight shakiness in it.

I heard the bell ring as Nyx left the shop. I didn’t turn around to look at him. I can’t get my heart involved with someone like him.

I shook my head at my thoughts. Getting my heart involved? Bullshit. I’m straight. There’s no way I could fall in love with someone like that. Even if he wasn’t a guy.

I shouldn’t have agreed to this marriage.

“My prince, do you need a moment?”

I blinked a few times. “No, I’m fine.” I pointed at the blue fabric. “I want this one for Prince Nyx. With a white glitter threading.” I pointed to the red. “This one will be for me, with the same white glitter threading.” I decided to go with white threading since we never talked about who would be wearing white.

The shop keeper nodded. “I’ll send over some sketches to make sure I make exactly what you’re looking for, your highness.”

I forced a smile. “I’ll have someone send over our measurements. I apologize for not doing that today. Today went a way neither of us expected. Please forgive us for our rudeness.” I nodded at the shop keeper. Seeing as I’m not allowed to bow to people that aren’t royalty, a nod was the best I could do.

“Please don’t apologize, my prince.” He looked uncomfortable like this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about.

I sighed. “Thank you for helping today I’ll see you again in one week.”

“I’ll see you soon, my Prince. Please be safe.” He bowed, and with that I left.

I began walking down the street. I had no guard, no car, and absolutely no form of protection other than my martial arts training that I’m required to take.

It was starting to get dark and I was a very long way from home, but not a long way from a club. I could use a drink or eight. I thought as I walked into a popular club, Kisses, where all the bad decisions happen.

“Give me your strongest drink.” I said to the bartender. He handed me a clear shot and I have no idea what it was but I sure as hell drank it. At this point I’d do anything to get my mind off Nyx and how badly I fucked up. Speaking of, I need to get someone to take that article down, if they haven’t by now.

God this is going to be a long night.

Dear diary,

I fucked up once again.

Chapter 10

Nyx’s pov:

I had gotten into the limo to get back to the Avalon palace, but then remembered that I had shared the same limo with Prince Liam which means he had no ride back.

I was angry but the guilt of leaving him behind weighed on me heavily. When I asked the driver about it he said he will come back for him, which also sounded unfair. Why wait for me to reach then come back and pick him up when we could just do it now?

I instructed the driver to take me back. I sighed in distress. Just a couple of days and I don’t feel like myself at all. These articles were already messing me up ‘Prince Nyx enjoying a sweet treat in a rather interesting way.’ What are they trying to point out?

We got back to the tux shop and I waited inside as the driver went to get Liam only to come back a few seconds later to inform me about how he left earlier. The shop owner came to the car door and bowed. “Where did he go?” I asked.

“You’re Highness I am not sure but he went that way.” He pointed into the other direction.

“Does that lead to the mansion as well?” I am new here. Maybe if he passed that way he would get back safely.

“Your Royal Highness it doesn’t.” I sighed leaning back in my seat trying to figure out what I should do. He has lived here all his life, maybe he does know another way back. I went to thank the shop owner only for him to speak once again. “Your Royal Highness seemed rather stressed when he left.” That made me pause.

I remembered the words he said last, they were filled with some pain. Maybe I had been too harsh on him…for goodness’ sake, he comforted me when I was crying with no judgment. Only Lady Augustus has seen me cry and I always try to hide it. Yet without hesitation, he just comforted me, even if our relationship was complicated.

That gesture showed there was a good guy hiding behind all those facades.

I knew I needed to apologize to him. Exiting the limo I decided to follow where the shop owner said he went. “I will be back, you can stay here.” I instructed the driver as I started walking on the sidewalk. The sun was going down and I was glad because it meant I wouldn’t be recognized that easily.

Avalon structure building was different from ours, I could feel that I was in a different kingdom than mine. It was refreshing, new scenery is always appreciated. My steps were slow as I tried to look all around for Prince Liam.

I hadn’t thought about how hard this would be since I was in a different kingdom with new people. I think I lost my way once or twice or even more. I could hardly find my way back to the limo and it was completely dark.

On my way to search for the limo having failed to locate Liam, I found cameras flushing not far away from the tux shop.

Paparazzi were screaming, their lights were blinding. My eyes widened when I saw Liam in the center of all the lights. I could hardly see him but he was in front of a club.

I ran over and pushed through all of them. Prince Liam was a mess throwing up, no one was helping. Everyone just taking pictures of him when he was clearly not okay and needed help. “Step back.” I ordered, some listened moving back yet most of them focused on taking pictures.

I held onto Liam’s shoulder, he was highly intoxicated. I stood in front of him trying to shield him from all the blinding lights. I took off my coat, draped it over his head, and with my hold on his shoulders, I guided him through all the chaos. The driver had brought the limo closer and I appreciated this a lot because it was easier to get Liam in and drive off.

Liam took the jacket off of his head and looked at me with a lopsided drunken grin plastered on his face. “I tried taking the-” he hiccupped. “Cameras off of you. Did it-” He hiccupped again. “Work?”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to make him more comfortable by unbuttoning his shirt around the collar. He reeked of both alcohol and puke.

Liam’s eyes followed my movements. “The article. It was genius!” Liam said and I think he was louder than he had intended to which was clear by the genuine shock of the volume of his own voice. “I made an even bigger scandal than you did.” He hiccupped. “And now everyone forgot about your article.” He smiled with his eyes closed.

I opened my lips but I was flabbergasted “That back there was intentional?” Is he crazy?? No actually no, he is crazy.

Liam hummed. “Not at first. I was fucking pissed at you.” He opened his eyes to look at me. “You’re a dick, you know that?” Despite his words he had a small smile on his face. “After a few drinks I thought.” He hiccupped. “What better way of getting rid of- rid of a-” he hiccupped again. “Scandal than making a bigger-” he covered his mouth and gagged.

“One second.” Liam gagged again as he frantically tapped the privacy window, trying to get the royal driver to pull over. Before he could come to a full stop Liam got out of the car, stumbled a few steps away from the limo, and threw up what looked like everything that was in his stomach.

I followed out, it was a good thing the paparazzi were left far behind and there was no one to disturb him. I tapped his back and asked, “Are you better now?”

Liam nodded as he wiped mouth. He pushed past me as if he didn’t need my help. Of course, he couldn’t just get back in the car in his drunken state, before reaching the car Liam tumbled forward accidentally hitting his head on the open car door. I ran to him holding onto his shoulders to inspect his wound.

The wound wasn’t serious enough for stitches but he did need first aid treatment. The driver got out of the car wide-eyed as Liam groaned with his hand on his head, where the wound was. “Can I get a first aid kit?” I asked the driver as I helped Liam back inside. “Thank you.”

I opened up the kit. “Remove your hand.” I said after noticing that he still had his hand over his wound. He pulled it down giving me a clear view of his wound. Not deep, I think it is just a scratch that needs disinfecting and a cover-up.

I started cleaning and disinfecting it ignoring the fact that his unwavering eyes were on me. “Drinking as if it’s the end of the world is never okay. Even if you were trying to help me, next time find better solutions than alcohol.”

“Yeah, next time I’ll punch a random old lady and get thrown in jail.” Liam laughed.

I laughed despite myself then realized what Liam said. “Um let’s not do that.” I hoped it was just a joke. That was not even funny yet for some reason when he said it, it was. Let’s hope there won’t be more scandals to cover up cause I wouldn’t want to see some old lady punched for nothing.

Liam smiled. “You have a beautiful laugh, did you know that?” I did my best to not show my surprise, he is weird and maybe it’s easy for him to compliment others just like that.

“I didn’t because no one has ever told me that.” I finished patching him up, I closed up the kit and rested it to the side as I wiped my hands.

“Well now you do.” He paused. “It’s like….finally having peace and quiet after an overwhelming day.” His eyes studied my features before looking away, his face red with embarrassment of what he said or it was the high levels of alcohol in his system. “That was stupid ..forget it.” He refused to look at me again leaving me wondering what the hell that was.

‘Peace and quiet after and overwhelming day’ probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. The surprising part being I did nothing to earn those words.

So why did he say them?

Dear Diary,

Prince Liam is stupid.

Chapter 11

Liam pov:

I woke up with a massive headache. It was the worst headache I’ve ever experienced. Last night I drank more than I’ve ever drank in my life, even as an immature rebellious teenager. Yet, I drank so much I was puking on the side of the street and called the paparazzi on myself, all to get the attention off of Nyx.

Why did it affect me so much when he cried? I’d never seen him vulnerable and when I was the one that caused it I got this weird feeling in my stomach. Was it guilt?

I watched Nyx’s sleeping figure in the small chair in my room. Even sleeping he looked princely. Like how’d you expect the perfect prince to sleep. The only word to describe how he looked is perfect. He reminded me of Aurora from sleeping beauty when he slept.

I’m not sure how long I was looking (staring) at him but he shifted in the likely uncomfortable chair. After a few seconds of rubbing them, his storm grey eyes met mine. “Good morning.” I said.

“Good morning.” Nyx shifted while passing his hands through his face. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine. Why- what happened?”

“You drank like crazy, puked in front of a camera all to create a scandal to cover up my ice cream one.” Nyx’s voice held anger behind each word. “You hurt your head, is it throbbing?” His voice softened again.

I don’t think he’s ever talked to me in the soft way he just did. It was weird.

My hand moved to the bandage that was on my forehead. I definitely remember everything that happened last night. I just felt like fucking with him a little.

I smiled. “My head is definitely still throbbing.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Are you sure you didn’t hit me in the head and maybe that’s how I got this ugly bandaid?”

“I wish.” Nyx mumbled while getting up. “And…even if what you did was stupid..thank you.”

“And what exactly did I do?” I asked, tilting my head in fake confusion.

“You will know once the news comes out.” Nyx held his finger glancing down. “You didn’t have to go that far, especially when I said some terrible words to you… I’m sorry.” He refused to look me in my eyes.

I laughed, deciding to drop the act. “If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have been put in a situation where you became so…” I paused. “vulnerable. So I’m the one who should be apologizing. I pushed you too far and I’m sorry.”

“Ugh, you mess around a lot.” He walked towards me and stretched his hand. “Truce?” He said, causing me to smile.

I extended my hand with a soft smile. “Truce.” I grabbed his hand and shook it. “You should leave before your valet knocks on your door to wake you up and you’re not there and all hell breaks loose.” My eyes widened in fake horror. “Or worse, someone sees you leave my room and think we were involved in….” I paused, looking him up and down. “Indecent activities.”

“You’re so unserious.” Nyx laughed while taking his hand back. “See you later.” He made his way to the door before stopping.  “Indecent activities with you? Now that is a scandal that doesn’t terrify me.” Nyx clicked his tongue before closing the door behind him.

I smiled before realizing what he said. He just basically told me he wanted to have sex with me…right?

No.

That couldn’t be what he said. I mean this is Nyx we’re talking about. He doesn’t have a single unserious bone in his perfect body.

I got out of my bed and walked over to the nightstand, taking the pills and water left out for me. I’m not entirely sure who left them but I was still grateful. A part of me wants to believe Nyx was the one to leave it.

I walked into my bathroom and took a long, much needed shower. I reeked of alcohol and puke. Much different from other nights where I usually smell like alcohol and sex.

I stepped out of the shower and grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my waist.

I brushed my teeth and as I took my towel off to put on my clothes, there was a knock at the door.

I sighed and rewrapped the towel around my waist as I walked to the door. I expected to see Avery, telling me that breakfast was ready. Instead, Nyx was standing there, fully clothed and freshly showered. He looked much more put together than he was a few minutes ago.

My eyebrows furrowed together. “Did you forget something?” I smirked. “Or maybe you were actually planning on going through with the indecent activities plan you said earlier?”

“That was to cheer you up, I’m not the funniest.” Nyx rubbed his neck sheepishly. “Anyway I offered to come get you for breakfast. Go get ready, I will wait here.”

I licked my lips. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in and watch as I get dressed?” I teased.

“Yes, I will come in.” He entered then closed the door behind him.

I stood there stunned. I turned to nyx, who was now standing in front of my bed. “I- I wasn’t serious.” I felt my face heat up. He’s not seriously going to watch as I get dressed is he?

“I came in thinking you were, are you backing out? Did I make you uncomfortable?” He paused. “Should I leave?” Nyx spoke with all seriousness.

“No!” I responded faster and louder than I’d like. I cleared my throat. “I mean…no you don’t have to leave. It- it doesn’t bother me….or anything like that.” Fuck why am I turning to a shy blushing freak?

“Good.” He sat down in the chair he was just sleeping in an hour ago. He kept staring at me, looking completely unfazed by the situation.

“Um…” I looked away from his intense, focused gaze. “I’m going to go get dressed now.” I whispered so low I barely heard it. I’m not usually like this. I’m also not usually the one on the receiving end of the teasing.

“What happened to dressing in front of me?” The tiny smile on Nyx’s face let me know he enjoyed my suffering.

That evil prick of a prince. I didn’t think he had it in him. He’s like a rose with tiny thorns. You don’t see them until it’s too late.

Despite knowing this I still felt my face get hot. “My um…clothes are in the closet.” I said, trying not to look at the clothes that were laid out on my bed.

Nyx laughed. “I’m just messing with you, go get dressed we have breakfast to attend.”

I glared at him. “You’re not funny. You’re actually the unfunniest person ever. And yes I know that’s not a word but that’s the only thing I can think of at this moment.” I said before pouting and stomping away like a child.

“I’m not but you should have seen your face.” Nyx was laughing. “Were you going to pass out, it looked like you were.”

I walked in my closet and put on my clothes. “I- I wasn’t! I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t.” I heard the amusement in Nyx’s voice and it sounded unnatural but natural at the same time. I like this playful side of him it’s interesting.

I stepped out of the closet fully dressed in my black ripped jeans, black shirt, black leather jacket, and combat boots. I looked like I hadn’t stayed in a castle my entire life. I grabbed my phone and wallet and put them in my pocket.

“You’re outfits aren’t made for princes but they suit you.” Nyx commented while standing up and heading to the door. “Come on let’s go.”

“Was that a compliment?” I asked, following him downstairs. I ran my fingers through my hair in attempt to control it just a bit.

“It is exactly what I said, take it as you want.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment. Next time just say I look sexy, I promise it’ll get me out of these clothes faster than I got in, Prince Nyx .” I winked as I walked past him and into the dining room.

“I would like for you to stay in your clothes, if you don’t mind.” Nyx chuckled while slightly raising his hand in surrender. God his laugh is like your favorite song that you want to play on repeat for the rest of your life.

“Why wouldn’t Prince Liam be in his clothes?” My father asked, accidentally overhearing the last bit of our conversation. I sat in my usual seat and looked over to Nyx who sat to the left of me, to see if he was going to answer. Which he did not.

I cleared my throat. “Um we were talking about going … swimming at the um ..you know.” I looked at nyx for help but his eyes were everywhere but on me. “Yeah and he was saying It’d be funny if um I’d stay in my clothes …. while swimming…….in the beach…..I mean the ocean……yeah.” I saw the servers come in with our plates in their hands. “Oh look our food.” I said, trying to change the topic.

The servers sat hot fluffy buttermilk pancakes in front of each of us. I poured syrup on mine and took a bite. They were literally the best pancakes I’d ever tasted.

“Prince Liam.” My mother said in a voice that made my back stiffen.

I swallowed the food in my mouth. “Yes mother?”

“Care to tell us why you were in the Avalon Times today?”

I shook my head. “Not really.”

“Do you think this is funny Liam?” My father said, anger evident in his voice.

“No.” I took a bite of my food so I don’t have to talk anymore.

“What you did was completely reckless and stupid. You cannot go around Avalon and act immature anymore. Your engagement ball is in two weeks and your wedding is not far behind.” My mother scolded.

“How do you expect to be king if you’re still getting drunk at clubs and puking on the side of buildings?” My father asked.

I didn’t have an answer for him. I mostly did what I did for Nyx and I won’t apologize for that. I’m also not going to explain myself to them.

My mother sighed. “Prince Nyx thank you for helping our reckless, immature son. God knows how much worse it would be if you weren’t there.”

Nyx stiffened but raised his head with a nod. “Prince Liam has been good to me, so it was nothing.”

My mom looked at me with a pleased expression on her face. “I’m glad to see you two getting along but don’t ever do something like that again Liam. As the future king of Avalont you have to-”

“Be calm, centered, decisive, in control, empathetic, and a role model.” I said, repeating the words she’s repeated to me and my brother since I could remember.

“I’m glad you know.” My mother said, pleased.

The remainder of the breakfast was filled with small talk. We all went our separate ways to get ready to go to the Avalon History Museum.

Since Nyx and I were already dressed, I planned on going to the garden with him. For some reason he likes sitting out there. I’ve found him out there a few times since he’s been here. It’s usually in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping. He’s always looking up at the moon, lost in thought.

“Liam.” My brother, Luca called as I was about to follow Nyx to the garden.

I turned to him, trying to hide my annoyance. “Yes?”

“Could you help me with something?” I looked around for one of the helpers but it was just my luck that no one was around.

I sighed. “Okay.” I followed him upstairs and into his room. I tried to hide my confusion. “What did you need help with?”

“What happened?” He turned to me after closing his room door. I looked at him confused and he sighed. “The article.” He grabbed his phone out of his pocket. “You were so wasted that you threw up in the middle of the street.”

I shrugged. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? You make headlines an hour after Prince Nyx’s first less than decent headline.” His eyes softened. “Look, I understand that you don’t like him or this situation, but trying to one up him? Trying to see who could have the worst article written about them? It’s not okay.”

I was barely hiding my annoyance at this point. I’m used to my parents chewing me out for things like this but not Luca. He’s usually quiet and telling me that everything would be okay. He didn’t hide the disappointment in his tone as he spoke. He sounded just like my father.

“I wasn’t- I was helping him! I was fixing my mistakes!” I yelled, completely losing all self control.

His eyebrows furrowed. “Helping him?”

I grabbed my hair, gripping it so tight I could pull my hair out. It was the only way to calm my rapid thoughts. Everybody’s been telling me how what I did was reckless, but I was only trying to make things better.

I inhaled then exhaled and repeated this until I was calm.

“It- it was Nyx’s first bad article and he…. wasn’t handling it well. I figured since I was used to how cruel the paparazzi could be, I could do something worse and get the attention off of him.”

Luca didn’t say anything for a while. “What you…” he sighed. “What you did was reckless, but I’m proud of you for attempting to help the situation. You’re still trending on all news sites, including Royal News, but I guess that was your goal, huh?” He smiled.

I smiled. “Royal News hasn’t seen the last of me.”

Luca shook his head with a smile on his face. “Of course they haven’t.” He pushed me towards the door. “Now stop playing hard to get and go down there with your fiancé.”

“I’m not playing hard to get, I am hard to get.”

Luca rolled his eyes. “With that attitude? You’re hard to want.”

My eyebrows raised in momentarily shock. “And you’re hard to look at.”

“For the sake of your ego, I’ll agree. Now get out of my room.” I rolled my eyes and left his room, making my way to the garden where Nyx was.

Dear diary,

I might crave Prince Nyx’s attention more than I let on.

Chapter 12

Nyx’s pov:

We had to visit the museum because of the new historical figure that had been added and needed to be shown to the public for the first time.

The Queen, King and both Princes of Avalon has to attend and since I will be a part of the Avalon family I too had to attend.

Prince Liam had to change out of his jeans, I couldn’t help but laugh as he put on a suit. Suitable for this kind of event. I had no problem with seeing historical figures because I love history yet for some reason Liam was dreading the entire thing.

By the time we sat into our car he was showing even less interest. I laughed at him, he was acting so immature right now so I had to ask, “Where would you want to go if not the museum?” Out of all the Prince and Princess I have met, I have never met anyone like him.

We all try to put up with what we don’t like professionally yet he just shows it without any hiding. I admire that he is free to show who he is, but what I have come to admire the most is the fact that he would sacrifice his reputation for me.

He makes its seem small as if the weight of the situation is just a speck of dirt yet the entire kingdom is having a field day. All the bad things they are saying, ‘He shouldn’t be king’ and so much more. I have realized now that he has always been in Avalon Times and all for not good reasons.

He looked me in the eyes. “Honestly? I feel as if the museum isn’t showing you what our kingdom is like. It shows the historical boring parts. So I’d want to get in a cab and have them drive us around, giving you a real experience of Avalon. The first stop would be the Garden of Avalon.”

That would be a no for me but for once, I just wanted to do what he said even if it sounded reckless and less princely. “Okay, let’s do it.”

His eyebrows raised in surprise. “Wait really? You don’t want to…” He paused. “You don’t want to stay at the museum?” Let’s say I am curious about what kind of world he lives in.

“You took the attention off of me, I guess I want to do something for you.” I glanced out the window with an exhale. “And…I see how bored you are at the thought of the museum.” I glanced back at him. “I want you to show me Avalon, I want to know your world.” And more, how he manages to be free even when he is not.

I saw a smile make its way to his face. He looked away from me and instead looked at his hands that sat in his lap. He began twiddling his thumbs as he spoke, he looked suddenly nervous but then cleared his throat. “Okay…you like flowers right?”

I love flowers. “Very.” I replied. I don’t know but I could see he looked kind of…let me just forget. Maybe I am over reading into it.

The cars came to a stop in front of Avalon Museum where news reporters were already standing. Body guards stood in front of them keeping clear order as we all started exiting our cars.

Liam was still speaking as we went to get some pictures together ignoring the reporters Liam smiled. “Well here at Avalon, we have a community garden. It’s beautiful and huge.” He said, seemingly not able to contain his excitement anymore. “Anyone is allowed to plant things. And they have a really great view from a balcony, which the royal family usually sit and watch as the community comes together and makes something beautiful.” He looked at me. “Would you be interested in that? We could plant something or just watch. It’s really beautiful I just want to take- show you.”

“We can plant.” I whispered back. “I like the feeling of mud on my fingers.” I replied honestly.

He leaned in closer to me. “Do you want to leave after a few pictures?” I was about to reply when a news reporter suddenly spoke loudly overpowering all the noise around us.

“What do you have to say about your drunken stupor last night, Prince Liam?” Everyone quieted down waiting for his response. He immediately looks at me, he smiled trying to comfort me but I was far away from being able to be comforted.

I raised my voice to make sure I was heard loud and clear. “You didn’t ask if he was okay. Clearly you don’t care and shouldn’t be in the position to be asking questions. He could have died and you all stood there taking pictures instead of helping him out. Prince or not, he is a human being first.” I held his hand and directed him back towards the cars.

We will end the museum tour here, these people are not worth it no matter how much you sacrifice for them. “Take us out of here.” I ordered the driver and once away from all the reporters I told him to stop.

I needed to breathe. “They are so ungrateful, no matter what you do for them they always find something to complain about.”

Liam grabbed my hand. “Don’t let it get to you they say things like that all the time. I usually just ignore it, but thank you for standing up for me.”

I sighed out “Should we go to the garden now? I need to clear my head.” I didn’t need to think about what I had done. Liam took his coat off and I followed, pulled out his tucked shirt, messed with mine and his hair then got a hold of my hand taking me out of the limo.

“Yes. I’m really excited to show you.” He raises his hand stopping a taxi. We both got into the back. “To the community garden.” The driver started driving and that is when I noticed that our hands were still intertwined. He seemed not to notice so I let him be.

To my surprise he rested his head on my shoulder, I relaxed my body to make him a little more comfortable. The position seemed comfortable for him so I looked around and watched the city. People going on about their evening, i didn’t know why but something about this moment felt so comfortable. Even if the city was loud it was silent for me, it was a rare kind of peace that I think I have searched for almost my entire life.

I never thought I could find it in a moment like this. The driver disturbed the peace when he parked in front of what I believe to be the community garden.

Liam lifted his head from my shoulder, he paid the taxi driver then we made our way out of the cab hand in hand. The twinkling lights at the entrance were already enticing.

We walked in, and the silence that surrounded us remained calm. There were couples and families inside the garden, no one paid attention to us, and everyone was doing their own thing and that was so calming.

We made our way to a bench, Liam was surprisingly so quiet that when we sat his head went back to my shoulder. I thought we were going to do some gardening yet here we are sitting down in silence not doing any of it. “This is a beautiful garden.” I commented “This is peaceful.”

Dear Diary

,

For the first time in my life, I spoke harshly towards the media but also for the first time in my life I felt peace. From the moment in the taxi to this garden… this is something I never want to forget, the feeling I wish could stay with me for the rest of my life.

Chapter 13

Liam pov:

“Yeah.” I sighed. “It is.” I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked him in his storm grey eyes. They held calmness and peacefulness that I’d never seen. He looked at ease. “Were you serious about wanting to plant something?”

“Hmmm.” Nyx looked at the garden. “I’ve always wanted to plant with my own two hands, but since princes aren’t allowed to get their hands dirty, I’ve never had the chance to do it.”

“Honestly? I wasn’t allowed to plant anything either, but when I was eleven I helped an elderly lady plant her son’s favorite flower.” I looked at the people watering flowers and laughing with other civilians. “Other than that one experience, I’m as clueless as the next Prince.” I looked at Nyx. “We could learn together, but it would cause you to go against every royal expectation. Are you up for that?”

“Tonight, I’m up for anything.” He rubbed his hands together. “Where do we begin?”

I stood up and grabbed his hand, leading him to where the gardening supplies were. The people of Avalon bring their own supplies but I always make sure they have everything they need to keep this garden beautiful and thriving. “Do you have a favorite flower?” I asked as I looked at the bags of flower seeds.

“Petunias have to be my favorite.”

I hummed. “I like roses.” I looked at an older lady who was also looking at the seeds. “Do you know how to plant roses and petunias?”

She turned to me with a bright smile. “Of course, darling.” Her smile dropped when she saw me. “Oh my!” She dropped her empty pot as she tried fixing her dress. I smiled as she bowed. “Your highness.”

I bent down to grab the pot and gave it to her with a smile. “Do you-”

“Oh! Yes. I can teach you, my prince.” She grabbed the seeds for the flowers we wanted to plant. I grabbed two flower pots.  Nyx grabbed two watering cans and went to fill them up.

The woman sat down on the dirty ground, sitting the supplies in front of her. I frowned and looked at Nyx. “Do you want to sit….on the ground?”

“She’s doing it.” Nyx followed the lady.

My eyes widened but I sat, nevertheless. The lady smiled, completely oblivious to my reluctancy. “Thank you for helping us, miss……” I trailed off, not knowing her name.

“Vivian.” She smiled.

I returned the smile. “Miss Vivian.”

“Oh no, just Vivian, my prince.” I nodded.

She showed us the basics of planting a flower in a pot. I don’t know what I expected, but it sure wasn’t a pot of wet dirt and hidden seeds. I looked at the pot. “So when does the flower start to show?” I asked, standing up. Nyx stood as well, fixing his suit.

“Within a few weeks. You have to make sure to water it often as well as make sure it has plenty of sunlight. If you do that, your rose will bloom in no time.” Vivian stood up and dusted herself off. “I must get going, my prince.”

I smiled. “Thank you for helping us.” Vivian bowed before leaving with her newly planted flower in her hand. I turned to Nyx. I planned on grabbing his hand and leading him to the balcony, where we’d be able to see the garden from a beautiful view. I saw a few pots full of wet dirt from our several failed attempts at the potted flowers. I took his pot out of his hand and sat both of our pots down in safer place.

I picked up one of the failed mud pots and before he could ask me what I was doing, I picked it up and threw the mud at him.

Nyx gasped in shock. He grabbed my hair, the mud pot with the most mud in it. He directed my  face straight into the mud. I lifted my face and was all covered in fucking mud. “Now that’s funny.” He laughed.

I wiped my eyes, looking at Nyx in disbelief. “You did not!” I grabbed another mud pot and dumped it on his head.

Nyx huffed. “I am not gonna give up today!” Nyx picked up mud with his bare hands and smeared it on my white shirt.

I looked down at my shirt. I threw another mud pot at him then took off running.

“Liam!!!” Nyx followed.

I was laughing as I ran down the street covered in mud. I occasionally looked behind me to see if he was still following. A few minutes later my running slowed down to jogging and eventually I was walking. Nyx was still behind me as out of breath as I was. I ran to a private beach that was about ten minutes away from the garden.

The sun was starting to set as I walked up to the ocean, stepping into the water until my shoes were completely covered. Nyx ran up behind me and pushed me into the water completely. I grabbed his arm as I fell, causing him to fall in too.

I laughed as he coughed up the salty water. I swam deeper in the ocean, where the water reached just above my shoulders. I motioned for Nyx to come closer.

Nyx swam closer, sand still falling out of his hair, mixed with clumps of mud. “Give me a hand here.” He leaned his head back, motioning for me to wash his hair. Seeing as I was the reason his hair looked like this, I guess I’ll help him.

I pull him in closer, using my hand to scoop up water and rinse his hair. After his hair was free of both mud and sand, I turned him around to face me. “Be a doll and help me get the mud off of my face?” I honestly couldn’t just put my head underwater and it’d easily come off but for some reason I wanted his help although I didn’t need it.

He scooped water in his hands and washed my face gently. As he was finishing up, he scooped water with his hands and splashed it into my face before swimming off and taking a seat in the sand.

I swam to shore, ignoring the slight stinging in my eyes from the salty water. As I was getting out of the water, I unbuttoned my shirt. I walked over to a giant rock and laid my clothes out there, including my shoes which I had to shake out because of the sand and water. I was standing on the moon lit beach in just boxer briefs. “You should um…” I looked away from Nyx. “You know…put your clothes over here to dry. You could get sick sitting in wet clothes.”

I watched as Nyx unbuttoned his shirt and pants. He got up in his black tight briefs and laid his clothes on the rock beside mine. “It’s nice out.” He commented while taking a seat on the sand, leaning back on his elbows and looking at the sky.

I forced myself to look away from his surprisingly fit body.  “Yeah.” I sat next to Nyx. “It is.” I watched as Nyx looked at the sky in amazement. “So what is your fascination with the sky?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Nothing.” He chuckled as he glanced at me. “It’s the fact that I have never done something like this. Something young, today made me feel so alive…now I see why you live the way you live.”

I smiled. “You haven’t seen everything yet. Just wait until you try chocolate and ride your first motorcycle.”

“Chocolate maybe but I don’t think life-threatening experiences are my thing.”

“I’ve never crashed, I’d be happy to take you on your first ride.” I offered.

Nyx laughed while replying, “We will see.”

There’s that beautiful sound that makes my heart ache. “I’ve never seen you laugh so much.” I licked my lips. “I think you’re starting to like me, Prince Nyx.”

“And I honestly didn’t think I would.” His eyes moved back to the water. “We seemed so different but yeah I do like you.”

I’m not sure what came over me, but looking at Nyx’s face as he said the words, ‘Yeah I do like you.’ Filled me with an overwhelming sense of want, need, and desire. My body had a mind of its own and before I could even process it myself I kissed him. It was a quick peck before I pulled back.

Nyx gasped in shock, it took him a second to process what happened but he stayed in place. His eyes stayed on me, but I could despher the emotion in them.

I know I shouldn’t have but I leaned in once again.

All his shock seemingly washed away as my tongue passed over his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He opened his mouth and without missing a beat my tongue entered his mouth. When he kissed back, I decided then and there that this was the best kiss that I’ve ever had in my entire life.

I threaded my fingers in his hair, deepening our kiss as my tongue explored his mouth. Nyx kept his hands to the side but still kissed back, matching my intensity.

We didn’t kiss for nearly as long as I’d wanted before we had to pull back for air. I looked at his red cheeks and dazed grey eyes as we both caught our breath. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him again.

Nyx cleared his throat. “I think our clothes are dry.” He stood up and walked over to our clothes.

I touched my lips as I watched him walk away. What the fuck have I just done?

Dear diary,

I kissed Prince Nyx today and surprisingly, I don’t regret it. I’m not sure what this means for my sexuality because I’d always considered myself as straight, but the feelings I felt in that moment were anything but.

I’ve also learned that I am not a fan of the beach. Why does sand get everywhere? I’ve showered and still, finding grains of sand. Where the fuck is the sand coming from?

Chapter 14

Nyx’s pov:

The shock of what happened, of what I had let happen stayed with me until we got back to the mansion. I was still dropping sand everywhere. It was so uncomfortable that I had to take a longer shower.

My heart pounded so in my chest so hard that it was causing pain and difficulty breathing. My lungs hurt as if I had taken enough water to collapse them.

I turned the shower off with my head on the tile still thinking of a few hours back. I didn’t see it coming yet I didn’t say no to it. I didn’t want to say no to it. I was doing things I have never done before yet I was not expecting the ending at all and I don’t know what to think of it.

A spur-of-moment kind of kiss or was there something behind it? I didn’t stay there to listen or say more due to my mind going completely blank.

Liam does know how to make me think less. At the moment my mind was just drawing blanks and my heart was heavy. I couldn’t say a thing and if I am completely honest with myself the kiss was nice.

Liam is indeed a good kisser, there wasn’t any trace of hesitation or rashness. It was slow and sweet, his hand in my hair as he pulled me closer got me filled with goosebumps all over.

I can’t describe the feeling I got….it was indeed a new feeling for me.

It took me even more hours to finish showering and when I finally went back to my assigned room my phone was ringing. Looking at it I was surprised to find Lady Augustus, I instantly picked up. “Hello, Lady Augustus…is it you?”

“Prince Nyx.” Her voice came and I sighed in relief as I took a seat on the bed.

“How are you?” It has been a couple of days since I heard from her. I last saw her on the day I entered Avalon.

“I saw your interview.” I frowned, interview? “You sounded brave.” It finally clicked. The one with Liam. “You stood up for him and I called to say I am really proud of you.”

“That is all you called to say?” I thought maybe she wanted to take back what she had said.

“That is not all, I wanted to…I was thinking that maybe when you come back to Balemont I should visit.”

“That would be amazing, I will be back in two days.” I added right away but then remembered what happened with Liam and I couldn’t help but want to go there and ask or do it again just to be sure.

After saying our goodbyes, I ended the call.

As I slipped into my nightwear I heard a knock on my door. It was late now, almost 2 in the morning. I walked over and pulled the door open to find Liam on the other side.

He had his head low, refusing to make eye contact. He was playing with his thumbs, a nervous habit that he had. He sighed, finally raising his head but not looking me in his eyes. “I apologize, what I did was completely out of line…”

“Come in.” I held his hand pulling him in. I could see how uncertain he was at the moment. I closed the door behind us making sure to lock it as I directed him onto the bed. “You didn’t cross any lines, calm down okay.” I held onto his shoulder in comfort.

Liam shrugged my hand off. “I feel like I have though.” He started playing with his thumbs again. “You shouldn’t be comforting me. You should be angry at me for…. kissing you without your permission.” He looked at me. “Why aren’t you angry?”

“Because I kissed back.” I smiled walking closer to him. What was this reaction he was giving me? “Stop beating yourself up about it, I am not angry.” I inhaled. “It was a nice kiss, you’re a good kisser.” I added just to put him more at ease, it wasn’t a lie either.

Liam’s eyes softened and he huffed out a laugh. “Thank you.”

“Let’s sit.” I guided him to the bed again.

Liam followed. “I didn’t expect us to make it this far. I expected to maybe get punched in the face.” He eyed me. “You’re not going to punch me in the face are you?” It came out as a joke but there was a hint of seriousness in it.

“Should I?” I laughed, lying on my back. “Wouldn’t that be hypocritical since I gave a go-ahead to?” I smiled. “A fun night that ended with a kiss, you really know how to end them.” I added with a laugh.

Liam laid back as well with a smile on his face. “Would you say it was the best kiss and day you’ve ever had?”

“Honestly, yeah.” I turned to him, his green eyes looking brighter now. “You gave me all of my firsts.”

“Oh shit.” He mumbled turning towards me. “Like….firsts as in first time eating ice cream? And planting a flower? Maybe the first time on the beach?” He said nervously.

“I have been on the beach a couple of times with…” I trailed off.

Liam didn’t even have to ask what he meant. “You had a lover?” He whispered, like didn’t want to actually know the answer.

“You could say that.” I laughed nervously. “She was my first in a lot of things too…guess she beat you to most.”

“So I’m just your first kiss with a guy?” I got lost in my thoughts thinking of all the times I sneaked out just so I could see Lady Augustus. Those times are the only times she didn’t act like a lady. She would jump over the-

“Yes.”

“Well…..let’s think of it as a practice wedding kiss.” Liam said, trying to sound neutral.

“You’re not pushing your tongue into me with the Queens and Kings there, the whole nation watching.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Let me hope you’re being unserious like usual.” He flipped around laying on my stomach. “You’re soon becoming King, let me hope you don’t expect me to do everything while you enjoy your life.”

“Well of course not, my prince. I’ll be around to annoy the fuck out of you.” Liam smiled.

“Ugh, I like getting things done…you’re going to be a burden.” If someone can’t do their job I do it just to get it out of the way.

“The kind of burden that teaches you not everything this about is the crown?”

I waved my hand trying to not indulge my brain in the throne business. I might end up stressing. “So tell me Prince Liam, how did you start being rebellious?”

He smiled softly but it had a sad undertone. “I just realized that I was an extra prince. Another heir in case something happened to my elder brother. I wasn’t seen as the future king of Avalon, but as a backup plan if things went wrong. I had the same training as my older brother, Luca but I wasn’t prioritized. I could get away with more stuff than the average prince.” Liam paused, looking at the ceiling.

“I was only important too when it came to things for the crown. I started rebelling so someone would notice me.” He huffed out a laugh. “Eventually they got used to my rebellious acts. The media gave me attention but my family…. ignored me even more than they did before, which I didn’t even think was possible. So I turned to sex. The attention that I got from the women at the moment was what I craved. They paid attention to me….all of me, but they didn’t know me. I never gave them the chance to because I didn’t want to get hurt like my family did. So I put on this mask as the playboy prince and I slept around for the attention of another person. I didn’t need their validation, just their focus on me and me alone….even if it was for just a moment. It was enough for me.”

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t want to pity him so I kept my eyes down. I guess I always thought his situation was more like mine, his explanation shows we are on different spectrums. “Do you know what’s annoying, everyone thinking that being a prince is a blessing.”

He laughed. “It’s anything but. As a normal person, you’re allowed to be as selfish as you want and nobody would even bat an eye, but as a prince being selfish isn’t an option. Everything you do has to be for the good of your nation. The only reason I’m allowed to be as selfish as I am is because I’m just an extra prince.”

“Allowed to be selfish?” I scoffed “You’re not allowed, they judge you. I read some articles about you and I almost threw up. All they do is judge…you don’t do anything they judge. You give them your life they judge. They judge and judge and judge like they are the Almighty judging you for your sins. I get sick and sick of every single one of them…they are unpleasable and I hate it when I still try my best for them.”

“They’ll never be satisfied so I don’t try as hard. As for the articles, don’t give them much thought it was also my fault.” I know he is lying, the things spoken about him are enough to get you crying a river.

“You don’t need to hide it, those articles would sting even the strongest. Unless you’re a robot then I would believe they don’t hurt.” I know he is strong cause he is still standing. I get one complaint and I am in my office racking my brain trying to find solutions to fix that one thing that might not even be important and if I can’t then I am thinking ‘How useless I am’ Then I try and try to fix the unfixable.

Liam laughed gaining my attention once again. “I seem to remember telling you the same thing a few days ago.”

“Yeah?” I exhaled. “Then I guess we don’t need to lie to each other. Words hurt, they sting harder than a slap and that’s a fact.” A slap would disappear in a few seconds, a word might never.

“Actions do too. Maybe worse.”

“I beg to disagree.” I sat up folding my legs over the other ready for an argument. “I was seven when my father told me, ‘It’s exhausting teaching you’ and it stayed with me until now yet I don’t remember how I broke my leg at sixteen or even how much it hurt.” Yet I am still trying to make it easier to be taught. I try to learn quickly, but I still stay up at night to educate myself just so I can be ahead of my father in case we get into a discussion.

Liam sat up too, matching Nyx’s position. “When I was thirteen I was told that the royal family loved me and I was never a second choice, later that same year I had a track meet and my brother had a piano lesson. They decided to stay and watch him play piano instead of leaving him with the teacher to come watch me do something I loved. That same year I quit track.”

“Physically unavailable, you win that one.” I raised my index finger. “How about always and I mean always around but the only talk you have is, ‘Nyx you need to do better in your lessons, Nyx your walking teacher complained, Nyx a meeting is waiting for you. Nyx go study, Nyx read to us…did you memorize your speech…did you follow your diet? You waved terribly today, your eyes were more on the left and you ignored your people.’” I took in a deep breath “They see me, they are there but they don’t care about me.”

“They see your flaws. They see everything you’re not but everything they want you to be.” He shook his head. “I can definitely relate to that. Maybe not as much seeing as I turned out like this.” Liam motioned to himself. “But that’s because I rebelled. Have you tried it? It does wonders for the skin.” he smiled.

His smile forced me to smile too, he was a sad yet bright person and interesting even with all his problems. “I tried recently, one time and it ended so badly.”

“Bad like being sent to the dungeon?” Liam laughed. “That’s not fun at all.”

“Dungeon?” I laughed falling back. “Wait, have you been put into a dungeon cause I have never…I didn’t even know that was a punishment for a prince.” My voice turned serious.

“Yeah…I was caught sneaking out by the guards. I was heading to a party and after getting chewed out by my parents and sent to my room I tried leaving again. To make sure I didn’t leave they locked me in the dungeon for the weekend.” Liam sighed as if he was recalling a fond memory. “Fun times yeah?”

I looked at him in horror. “I apologize for my language but what the actual fuck.” My first time cursing out loud or even thinking of it. “Liam…” I pulled my hair back totally out of words. “That is beyond not okay.”

Liam smiled. “You just cursed. Say shit.” He encouraged with both amusement and amazement in his eyes. “It’s okay. The dungeon is not a horrible place. It’s cold…. isolated…. dark…eerily quiet, but not bad.” He talked like he was trying to convince himself rather than me. Like he didn’t want me to worry about him or feel bad.

“That all sounds terrible and I am not cursing again. A Prince doesn’t.” I laughed as I added, “But a prince can say shit in his room.” I felt like I was being bad, too bad to go back.

Liam smiled. “You curse so …proper. It’s fulfilling…like someone hugging you when you need it the most.”

“You need a hug.” I tilted my head. “Has anyone ever hugged you hard enough to forget all your problems?” I asked, if he hasn’t then I will do it right now without a second thought. He has been through so much, he hides it with humor and pretends it’s nothing yet it is a huge deal.

He laughed awkwardly. “No? Is that a thing? My family doesn’t really do …that.” He said, referring to hugging. “When I hugged you at the tux shop, that was foreign but I knew you needed it at the time. You were making the face that they make in movies when a person needs a hug.” He paused. “Did I do it right?”

“I really appreciated it even if I wasn’t on my best behavior at the time.” I looked deep into his eyes. “For no specific reason can I hug you. I know it’s always better when it’s someone you love or from family but…” I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

“Can you hug someone you….like?”

“It’s even better.” I sighed. “Tomorrow walk up to them and hug them, it will be the best hug of your life because you will feel at home for the first time.” I laid back down while glancing at my clock. “We talked so much it’s almost 5 in the morning…never done that.” I have never done a lot of things in my entire life, yet I am doing so much in these past days.

“So it’s technically tomorrow, correct?”

“Tomorrow, today…same thing.”

“One second.” Liam stood up and left the room, closing the door behind him. Not even a second later a knock sounded at the door, causing me to get up to answer it. As soon as I did Liam pulled me into a hug.

I stood paralyzed. “What are you doing? I thought you were going to hug someone you like tomorrow.” I thought he didn’t want a hug from me.

“Tomorrow, today…same thing.”

“Wait” I pulled out of the hug. “You like me?”

Dear diary,

I spent my morning night talking to Liam, trauma-sharing. But the he confessed… he knows how to end everything with a bang. I don’t know how to feel.

Chapter 15

Liam pov:

I looked away from him. “Yeah, as a friend….did I do it wrong?” I stepped back. “I’m sorry.”

Nyx chuckled with a sigh of relief. “I didn’t know you liked me and wanted to hug me.” Nyx pulled me into a hug once again. “As someone you like and likes you, I will hug you. So try to relax, this will be a long one.”

I felt my shoulders relax, but there was the slightest bit of tension in them. “Okay, what do we do now?” I asked. Is it weird that I don’t know how to hug someone? To show any sort of physical affection other than sex.

“You relax and forget.” He hummed. “Or I can tell a story to calm you down. We can lie down too.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, walking to his bed. I watched as he climbed into bed. I got in bed with him, but kept a reasonable distance between us, seeing as I wasn’t sure if cuddling and hugging were the same thing. If they were, am I supposed to initiate it? How close is too close?

Fuck am I overthinking this?

“What are you doing?” Nyx pulled me closer. “It’s already morning, so lie here and relax.” Nyx brought my head to his chest and wrapped my hands around him without a second thought, like this was natural to him.

I froze against Nyx’s body. “Like this?” I asked, my voice came out shaky.

“What is your dreamland?” He asked as he passed his hands through my hair gently.

“Dreamland?” I asked, inhaling Nyx’s intoxicating scent, leaning into his touch as he racked his hands through my hair.

“The place you see peace or happiness.”

“Hmm” I hummed. “I’m not sure I have a place like that.” Being in his arms is peaceful but, I don’t think I should say that. It’s a weird sense of calmness that washes over me when he plays with my hair.

“Okay then, just imagine a grey sky. A tiny sky quake before it rains.” Nyx’s voice lowered as if reading a book to a half sleep child. “You’re in a dark room only lit by scented candles and a fireplace. A cup of warm chocolate next to a fireplace. A blanket warming you up with your eyes looking through the glass window to the grey sky. The humming of a slow tone…” Nyx started humming slowly. “Right then small rain drops start hitting the glass.” Nyx continued humming, his hand caressing my hair, creating a calm atmosphere.

I felt myself getting calmer with each word he spoke. The tension in my shoulders were no longer there. “Keep talking.” His voice brings more peace and calmness than I thought was possible.

Nyx talked about the sky, then the conversation moved to flowers and how he sat in the garden sometimes to get away from things. I just listened and eventually fell asleep to the sound of his angelic voice.

I woke up to loud frantic knocking at the door. Nyx’s arms were wrapped around me, completely trapping me. Instead of pushing him off I pulled him in closer.

Nyx woke up from the loud knocking as well. I felt as his breathing pattern changed when he woke up. He removed his hands from my body and did his best to get out of my hands but I protested. “It’s time wake up.” He said lowly to likely not startle me with his hand caressing me back.

His voice was raspy and the weird thing is, it was turning my morning wood into something much worse, something unexplainable in a situation such as this one. I chalked it down to me not having sex in a while and the slightest breeze getting me hard, because there’s no fucking way that I just- I’m not finishing that thought. “Can you get the door?”

“If you let go.” Nyx chuckled.

“Oh shit…right.” I didn’t even realize that I held on to him tighter when I asked him to get up. I let go of him, allowing him to get up.

“You’re warm.” Nyx commented while swinging his legs off the bed, leaving me in this soft warm bed alone. “And cute and tiny.” He shook his head while heading for the door pulling it open to find Avery standing there with a worried look on his face.

“Good afternoon, your highness.” Avery bowed. “I apologize for waking you, but have you seen Prince Liam? He wasn’t in his chamber when I went to wake him. The palace is getting worried.”

“He is in my room, tell everyone not to worry.” Nyx replied nonchalantly, closing the door after Avery bowed.

“Did you call me cute and tiny?” I asked, still caught up on that.

“When you cuddled into me you became really small with a flaming red face.”

“I was not!” I felt my face heat from embarrassment. “Does the years and hours I spent in the gym mean nothing to you?” I huffed.

Nyx raised his eyebrows “You go to the gym? I didn’t notice.” He teased.

I got out of bed. “We are never cuddling again.”

Nyx raised his hands “You will come back, I am good at putting people to sleep.” Oh so he does this often? He unbuttoned his silky night shirt. “I don’t know about you, but I can’t function without a shower first.”

My eyes moved to his now bare chest. “Was that an offer to join you, Prince Nyx?”

“I have been told my showers are abnormally long. It could save you time if you joined.” Nyx said his voice not giving away if he was joking or not.

“Well I’m all for saving time.” I said, despite the fact that I’m always late.

“Come on.” Nyx gave me his hand to take. I grabbed it but I still wasn’t sure if he was messing with me or not. “Do you use a specific shampoo?”

“I’m not sure I don’t usually buy the things I need.” I laughed. He can’t actually be serious about showering together right?

“You can use mine.” Nyx took his pants off as he entered the bathroom and turned the shower on. His products were all neatly laid in a drawer which he just opened and holy fuck who has five different brands of shampoo. Am I washing my hair wrong or something? He’s like an hair influencer. He has strawberry scented shampoo in here, it has me wondering what scent my shampoo is. Is it even scented? Is this why his hair looks so perfect and silky?

I peeled my eyes from the drawer of hair products that I didn’t even know existed. He turned to find me still standing in the doorway, staring at him wide eyed as he stood there in just boxers. “Take off your clothes and come in.” He finally took off his boxers and was now butt naked as he stepped into the shower, letting the water drip down his body. He started with shampooing his hair and moved to conditioning three times with different conditioners. Different fucking conditioners. Then moved to his body, he exfoliated, then shaved his lower region.

I stepped out of my clothes, pulling my eyes off of Nyx as he started shaving his….his lower region. When I stepped into the huge shower, Nyx handed me a bottle of shampoo. I washed my hair as he rinsed his hair. We were at the beach yesterday and I was still finding grains of sand. We’re never going to the beach again if I have something to say about it. “So… how’d you sleep?” I asked as we switched places so I could rinse my hair.

“You snored all night.” Nyx stepped out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around himself and put on a face mask. He faced to watch me as he waited for the mask to dry.

“I don’t snore.” I said as I began washing my body. “Is that how you get your face to look so….perfect?” I motioned to his face mask.

“You did.” Nyx pulled off his mask five minutes later and rinsed as he picked up his toothbrush. “It was not loud enough to cause sleeplessness, more like heavy breathing.” Nyx raised his toothbrush pointing at me. “You looked peaceful.”

I laughed. “Thanks to you.” I turned the water off after washing myself a few more times, and wrapped one of his spare towels around my waist. “Got an extra toothbrush or do I need to walk to my room half naked?”

He pulled out a brand new one and handed it to me. “I have like one day left, what are you gonna do to say goodbye to your new favorite friend?”

“Favorite friend?” I laughed as I began brushing my teeth. “You think you’re my favorite friend?” The words didn’t come out right since I was brushing my teeth but he understood. Truthfully he was my only friend.

Nyx moved behind me, his chest touching my back. “I have never felt a connection this strong with anyone.” He looked at my green eyes through the mirror. “You’re my favorite friend and I want to protect you.” Protect me? No one’s ever said that to me before, not even my parents.

I rinsed my mouth out with water then spit it in the sink, using the running water to wash it down before doing the same with mouthwash. “Careful, your highness, I might start to think you’re in love with me. Or worse.” I turn to him. “I might start to crave your attention.” I completely understood the connection thing. We’ve only known each other for a few days and somehow I feel comfortable enough to share things with him that I haven’t even shared with my own brother.

“Many things want my attention and once I go back to Balemont, I will be so busy. I don’t think I will have time for other things.” His tone was sad and showed there was more that he didn’t say. “I’m starving now.” He said, changing the subject.

“I can make time for something like this.” I said, looking Nyx in his eyes. “The faster we get dressed the faster we can go and I can introduce you to foods I guarantee you’ve never tried but would love.”

“I can’t wait.” He stepped back, going to his room.

I grabbed his hand and led him out of his room and into mine. He protested seeing as we were both still in towels, saying it was indecent to walk around like this. I led him to my closet.

“What are you doing?”

I handed him a brand new pair of briefs. “Put these on.” I said then dropped my towel and put underwear on as well. I grabbed two pairs of ripped jeans. “You look like you’re about my size.” I said looking at his lower half.

Without a question Nyx pulled on my briefs “Cool tattoo.” He said, referring to my ‘Choking Hazard’ tattoo that was above my dick but below my navel.

“If you wanted another look at my dick, all you had to do was ask.” I said, playfully. Truthfully it caught me off guard when he pulled the hem of my briefs to comment on my tattoo. The tattoo was a slut move that I decided to get when I was eighteen.

“I didn’t look at it once, now that you point it out now I wanna see it. My eyes are respectful not like yours that have been following my naked body.”

“Are you asking to see my dick, Prince Nyx?” I stepped closer to him, ignoring the fact that I was caught looking at him naked.

“Prince Liam… I’m hungry… for food.”

His voice snapped me back into reality and what we came in here for. I handed him a pair of jeans and he looked at them like they were foreign. “You’re not wearing a suit where we’re going and I don’t think your sweater vests are appropriate either.”

I put my jeans on and grabbed a black T-shirt, handing an exact replica to Nyx.

“Jeans? Jeans…I hate them but…” Nyx pulled them on despite himself.

“Have you ever worn jeans?”

“No, they are not for princes.” Nyx pulled on the shirt too, matching me exactly.

“Then what am I?” I asked grabbing two leather jackets. “Black or red?”

“No comment.” Nyx pointed to the red jacket.

I smiled, handing him the red jacket. “Converse or combat boots? Designer wing tips are not an option.”

“I know I have no other option…converse.”

I handed him a pair of converse as I put on the combat boots. Once we were done, he went back to his room to grab his phone and wallet while I did the same.

I was still waiting on him when I spotted Avery. “Can you go get the keys to my bike and have it parked out front please?” Avery bowed before leaving. Not long after, Nyx came walking down the stairs. “It’s lovely to make your acquaintance again, your highness.” I bowed. “Are you ready to ride off into the sunset?”

“So romantic, you make me feel special.” He laughed.

“Good to know. No one has ever gotten this much of my attention.” I said, truthfully. I grabbed his hand and led him outside, where my 2024 Suzuki Hayabusa was parked in the driveway. Thankfully Avery saw where this was going and made sure that there was enough room for Nyx. Avery handed us both a helmet. I put it on my head and got on the bike. “Are you ready?” I asked Nyx who was sitting behind me.

“Please be a good rider, I would like to see myself as king if you don’t mind.” He said before putting the helmet on.

I laughed. “Hold on tight.”

Dear diary,

I think I’m attracted to Nyx, and even worse, his attention.

Chapter 16

Nyx’s pov:

Holding onto Liam was a must, one because he is a reckless rider but because if I didn’t I would end up with my body scattered on the road. I have never ridden such a dangerous thing and I have to admit, it brings a feeling of freedom.

The exhilarating experience was worth the feeling of death. The way we passed everything a a quick speed…I have never been in a vehicle that has ever gone beyond the speed limits and I have never complained a single day for the speed yet today shows a little faster can be better.

Liam made it make noise as he passed through the cars, cutting off some traffic. I laughed behind my helmet tightening my hold on his torso, the turns were even more amazing because it meant we bent enough to the point I thought my knee would hit the ground but it didn’t.

The trust I had in him was beyond my understanding. I wondered if it was because I really felt bad for him that I wanted to protect him so badly or because we were both in the same yet different situations. His parents neglected him because he was the extra prince, yet mine paid attention but only because I had a role to fill. They gave birth to me with a purpose.

In some way we were alike and I just loved how he didn’t let things get to him. I know sometimes they do but I loved that nothing stopped him from being who he is. Now look at me, how would I have experienced such a life if he let things get to him but most of all he is a guy with a great heart.

I like meeting great people and I think they need protection because it is very rare to meet someone just good. Someone who doesn’t want to use others for their benefit.

I get used a lot of the time because I can’t say no, I like pleasing and I get taken advantage of quite often. I know that but for once Liam didn’t try any of that. That’s why I want to take it upon myself to make sure no one ever hurts him again no matter what it takes. For what he did for me I will forever try to repay him.

The bike came to a stop in front of a pizza shop, tiny yet unique with beautiful logos. I swung my leg off the bike with my eyes on the shop. Liam turned to me with a bright smile and red cheeks. “So how was it?”

“Well your turns are risky but either way I would rate a solid 5” I teased a bit with a serious tone, hard to catch on. I have never teased anyone yet all I do is tease him every chance I get. It’s fun, like a game I have been playing all my life. I am never like this, I am always serious.

“Out of ten? And my turns are not risky maybe if you held on a little tighter you’d be fine.”

“That ride was the true definition of finally letting go. It was beyond measure.” I smiled honestly. “It was a nice unforgettable experience”

Liam smiled. “I can teach you if you want.” Ha, there is the smile that makes him look so innocent and problem-free. I want to make him happy and I don’t know why. Last night I wanted to calm him down, I just wanted to help him relax.

“I can’t drive a car and you want me to ride that?”

“You can’t drive a car?”

“What Prince learns to drive…” I trailed off when I realized I was talking to a prince who did. “I don’t need to…I get taken everywhere.” I have never even thought of learning, put me behind the wheel and I promise it will not make a single sound.

“I’m going to teach you to drive a car. After our engagement ball.” Liam grabbed my hand and pulled me into the pizza shop. The bell rang as we entered the store hand-in-hand. I didn’t want to deny him right now but there is no force that is forcing me behind the wheel at my 23 years of age. I am way beyond learning that, I missed it and now it’s gone.

The shop looked like it was built in the 80s it was vibrant with neon lights on almost everything. There was a wall of famous people that had visited the shop. A young Liam was on that wall with a girl who looked like she was in her early twenties. He had a bright smile on his face and he was eating the pizza, looking at the woman with loving eyes. The overall vibe of the shop was welcoming over all and gave a sense of joy when you walked in. There wasn’t many people in there but the people were enough to have the shop owner smiling. The shop was conversational and had good vibes as they entered the the owner greeted them with the biggest smile.

Still hand in hand, Liam walked up to the counter with a bright smile. The shop owner gasped and she bowed. “Good afternoon your highness. How are you today?”

“I’m good. I brought my favorite friend here, to try one of my favorite foods.”

“Well, I’m honored, my prince.” She turned to me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Prince Nyx.” She sounded so sweet and lovely, I instantly liked her.

“The pleasure is all mine, Prince Liam told me you have the best meals.” Her polite smile and soft eyes glanced down shyly for a second as if unable to handle the compliment.

She smiled. “Well I wouldn’t say the best, but our Prince seems to like it.” She turned to Liam. “The usual? Or would you like to change things up today?”

Liam hummed. “Both. The usual and surprise me with something new. I’ll have sweet tea and Nyx would like….” he turned to me.

“Green Tea with no sugar please”

“Baby….that’s not a thing here,” Liam said with an amused smile. Baby? Okay, let’s let that slide.

“What do you mean?” My eyes moved from him to the nice lady. They don’t have green tea, what shop doesn’t have green tea?

“They don’t serve tea. Do you know what fountain drinks are?”

“I don’t think I have heard of those.” I sighed with dread. “Let me hope they are not loaded with sugar.” Why do I feel like they are indeed loaded with sugar? He just ordered a sweet tea.

Liam shook his head with a smile. “He’ll have fruit punch.” That does not sound bad.

The shop owner nodded. “We’ll bring them to you as soon as possible.”

“Thank you, Kristen,” Liam said as he led me to a secluded booth. I took a seat opposite him, my eyes wandered back to the picture from earlier on the regular wall.

I pointed “Regular?” I didn’t want to ask deeply. I wanted it to come out as a simple question.

Liam looked at the picture. “Yeah. I actually have this photo in my room.”

“You seem happy.” His smile was so wide and so were his eyes. Beaming with happiness, I wondered what made him that happy.

“I was.” He didn’t take his eyes off the picture even as the drinks came.

I wondered if he was gonna indulge into it more but when he remained silent I decided to let it go as I held the drink. I took the sip and I was immediately shocked. “Um, not bad.”

Liam took his eyes off the picture and looked at me. “You know it’s full of sugar right?”

“I know.” I leaned my hands onto the table. “Wanna talk about that day?” I had to ask, it just didn’t sit well with me that he was gonna bottle this up too and pretend it’s nothing.

Liam’s eyes fell to the picture once again. “Isabella. She was my nanny from age five to thirteen. Her mother, Rebecca was my nanny before then, until she died of cancer two weeks after I turned five. I threw a fit and wouldn’t go with anyone other than Isabella. At sixteen she was babysitting a rowdy five year old kid. She was like my older sister. We did everything together and one of our favorite places to visit was here. She was the first to show me what pizza tastes like.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Although she got in a hell of a lot of trouble for it.”

His eyes held sadness that I had never seen before, not even when he was talking about the dungeon. “When I was eleven she fell sick and we weren’t able to do as much anymore. Two years later, she died of the same illness that killed her mom.” Liam looked away from the picture and didn’t dare look at me again. “She was only twenty-four when she passed.”

I looked at him closely and I had zero words to tell him. I pushed myself through the seat and moved to his, I pulled him so that his head moved to my chest. “Tell me more about her.” I wished I could do more for him, the worst part is that I had nothing more to do for him except try to make him talk about her so he remembers only the best times and not the time he lost her.

Dear Diary,

Seeing him hurt, wounds me.

Chapter 17

Liam’s pov:

I don’t usually talk about my feelings and I damn sure don’t talk about them with people I’ve met barely a week ago. For some reason I feel extremally comfortable around him. More comfortable than I’ve felt with anyone, my own family, and Isabella included.

Yet here I was, with my head pressed against Nyx’s chest at a pizza parlor, completely prepared to tell him everything. It’s a little weird isn’t it? Everything about me is weird though, especially as a prince.

“She was the first person to introduce me to a lot of unprincely things. She had a motorcycle and the first time I got on it was when we came here. It was a BMW R nineT and she loved it so much, would even let me watch as she fixed it. She didn’t follow the rules like her mom did and fuck did she get in trouble every time, but she always said that it was worth it to see a genuine smile on my face.” I grabbed Nyx’s hands and started messing with his fingers as I spoke.

“Please do continue.” Nyx whispered.

“She was overall fun and somewhat like a role model.” I laughed. “That sounds bad since I just said she does things she wasn’t supposed to do, but it’s true. Now that I think about it, I wished I would have hugged her at least once. You know how it is though, we’re not allowed to touch ‘the help’. I think that’s my one regret.” Now, as a twenty two year old, I would’ve definitely hugged her had I known how things would’ve turned out.

“What do you regret the most?”

“In life or just my experience with her?”

“What do you wish you had done or said to her?” He reworded it.

I paused for a second, thinking about it. “I think my biggest regret is not telling her how much I looked up to her.” While her hospital expenses were paid while she was on her death bed, I wasn’t allowed to see her at all. When she fell sick, my parents decided to start raising me as a prince in case something happened to Luca. I wasn’t allowed to do anything but attend prince classes.

“Maybe one day you should do something she would have done…in her honor.” Nyx suggested in a calming voice.

“She always talked about running her own bakery. She loved sweets more than anything. There was-” I paused. “Can we talk about something else?” I felt myself getting a bit emotional.

“At least you got all of that off your chest.” Nyx squeezed my hand trying to comfort me. Nyx leaned closer to me so that his lips were a few meters from my ear. “My heart is burning from the sweetness.” He grimaced touching his chest.

When he whispered in my ear it sent a shiver up my spine that I don’t want to think about. It took me a few moments to process what he said. Before I could suggest anything, Kristen came to our table with two medium size pizzas. One was meat lovers and the other was pepperoni and sausage. “Do you mind bringing us a cup of water? And if you could find some place around here that serves green tea, that’d be amazing.”

Kristen shook her head with a smile. “There’s a shop five minutes away, I’ll ask Nick to go get some, no sugar right?” I nodded but my head was still on Nyx’s chest. “You two make a lovely couple.”

“Oh we’re not-” I sighed seeing as she was already gone before I could correct her.

I sat up, getting off of Nyx’s chest so we could eat. Out of the corner of my eye I see him picking up a fork. “Nyx…what are you doing?”

“Eating?” His voice held a question with a slightly confused face.

I tried not to laugh at his expression. He’s new at this kind of thing. “Babe-” I sighed and picked up the pizza with my hands. “Like this.” I said before taking a bite.

Nyx shook the pizza out of my hands. “Wash them first.”

“You’re right.” I got up with Nyx in hand and walked to the bathroom. We both washed our hands before going back to our booth. “You’re supposed to use your hands to eat this dish.”

Nyx picked up the piece. “Greasy.” He commented but brought the slice to his lips taking a single bite. A tiny one at first, after being bombarded the taste of different flavors mixed well together he went for another bigger bite. After swallowing he couldn’t help but chuckle “This is amazing, I don’t…” Nyx laughed in disbelief. “How is it good?”

I smiled. It made me happy that he enjoyed something I liked. He took another bite. I laughed. “It’s my favorite food.”

“Now I understand why pizza is liked.” Nyx picked up a second piece.

“Loved.” I corrected. “Just wait until you try brownie pizzas.” I paused. “Have you ever had a brownie?”

“I’m not good with sweets and they were forbidden ever since I was young.”

I frowned. “Why?” Even as the future king, Luca was able to have something sweet from time to time.

“I had them once when I was eight, a maid snuck me some to have a taste. I became so hyper I couldn’t attend my classes.”

“And after that you haven’t had anything sweet?” I asked, before taking a bite of pizza.

“Like I said, forbidden and everything I eat is prepared for me by a chef and overlooked by my mom. It’s always healthy food, she always knows what I eat.”

“How would you feel about eating something sweet now?” I motioned to the fruit punch. “You said you liked it but then later said it made your heart burn ..maybe it was a sugar rush coming on?”

“It suddenly became to much but I always wanted to try chocolate.”

“Really?” Kristen walked to our table with a cup of green tea and water. “That took a little longer than expected, I apologize, my prince.” She put them on the table and turned to leave. “When we finish eating, let’s go to Avalon’s house of sweets. I promise I can handle a sugar rush.” I smiled.

“I don’t know what I will become.” He said, looking at me with a worried look in his eyes.

“We can find out together.”

“Fine” Nyx picked up his water. “I hope this isn’t my last time eating pizza.” He said then drank a sip of water.

“You’ll be married to me, this definitely won’t be the last time. We can do pizza Fridays. Every Friday no matter what, we get pizza. We can switch it up and try different flavors and places, and even make homemade pizza one day.”

“Pizza Friday? I can’t say no to that. It sounds amazing already.” It will be, especially if i can spend every Friday with him.

“Where’s your favorite place in the world?” I asked Nyx. I felt like he knew almost everything about me but I barely knew about him.

“I thought I had gotten that place when I met the love of my life, but that blew away. Now I don’t have it.” He kept his eyes on the pizza but you couldn’t mistake the sadness in his voice.

“Like a comfort zone? You found that in a person?” I asked curiously.

“There can never be a favorite place if I don’t have the one I love next to me.” Nyx confirmed. “Lady Augustus was that for me.”

“Was she now?” I hummed, trying to push down the bitterness I felt when he mentioned Lady Augustus. I shouldn’t have anything against her, but I thought about how he pushed me aside when we first met to go over to her. Would he do that again? “How’d you two meet?” If I recall correctly the king of Balemont despises the king of Veeral. He tries to hide it, but everyone knows.

“Balemont ball.” Nyx rested his elbow onto the table with a dreamy look as he recalled the memory. “The celebration of our kingdom. I was up on a balcony on the second floor and I saw her walking through the guests on the first floor.” Nyx laughed with the same dreamy look. “She looked so enticing that she brought light to the entire ball.”

It took everything in me not to roll my eyes. “She looks…cool.” I said, not being able to find a better word to describe her. “What happened?” I’m not sure why I’m pressing for information that I’d be better off not knowing, especially with the bitterness I felt at the mere mention of her name.

“She can’t love a married man.” Nyx replied with a sad look.

“Oh…” I said, completely losing my appetite. “We can- we don’t have to…” I couldn’t bring myself to say that we can call off the engagement, or that we don’t have to get married. I’ve already grown accustomed to the idea of us getting married and it doesn’t bother me. I looked over at Nyx.

The sad look on his face completely broke me. Has he been this sad the whole time? Would he be happier if we didn’t get married so he could go be with Lady Augustus? I’m too selfish to let him go for the sake of others, but am I too selfish to let him go for the sake of him?

Nyx laughed. “I tried to run away with her when I heard about the marriage. The first time I went against my parents but in the end, I couldn’t do that. This marriage is not mine to call off.” He sighed. “I am just glad I am marrying someone like you.”

I hummed. “So am I allowed to call the wedding off?” I paused. “What do you mean someone like me?”

“Someone I can learn from.” Nyx spoke firmly. “You’re a nice person and funny…I guess I feel like this marriage wouldn’t be a burden.” He smiled his eyes on me. “And if you call off the wedding when will all of this end?”

“All of what?” I asked curiously, trying not to feel angry.

“I’m twenty three and this is my first time having pizza.” He motioned to the pizza in front of us. “That should explain enough. The minute I go back home I will be going back to my routine until the merging. I will be chewed out for speaking out to the news reporters, the ice cream incident…I need it to end. All of it.”

“…So you’re using me? To be king and get out of the control of your parents?” My voice showed the anger I was feeling clearly.

“I’m not using you.” He was calm but surprised. “It’s the situation we can’t escape.” He shrugged like it was nothing.

“But you are.” I laughed out of anger. “Saying nice shit about me doesn’t change the fact that you’re clearly using me.”

“Can we talk calmly?” He paused. “I don’t know where this attitude is coming from and I am not using you.”

“I am calm.” I said through gritted teeth. “You don’t know where my attitude came from? You just sat here and basically said that if I called off the wedding you wouldn’t be able to be independent like you want to be.”

“You can’t call off the wedding, you were never given a choice to begin with. You want me to apologize for trying to find an opportunity out of this?”

“No…Prince Nyx, you don’t have to apologize. But do understand I’m not going to sit around and let you use me. I’m not going to sit back and let you hold me, telling me that you want to protect me when really you want to protect yourself. Protect yourself from your parents control. You never wanted to protect me, you were just using me to be king. You know how many times you’ve sat here and called me selfish like you were all mighty when you’ve been more selfish than me this entire time.” I shook my head.

“I want to protect you.” Nyx firmed. “I only want to become king because it’s already happening with or without my will. I am not using you, I am using the circumstances that we are both stuck in.”

“That’s not the only reason you want to be king. Remember on the balcony? You said ‘I look at this in a business way because it’s the only way I get power.’ “ I huffed out a laugh as I recalled his words. “ ‘With a marriage all of that becomes ours. We get to make the rules. A divorce can happen. Trust me I’ll make sure it happens.’ So was that your plan all along? To get my kingdom and divorce me? Saying that you’ve never had a connection like this with anyone, putting me to sleep while laying in bed with you, letting me kiss you on the beach. All of that so you could divorce me? Were you just saying that so I’d marry you because you knew I was capable of calling off the wedding?” I couldn’t hide the pain in my voice.

“You think I am going to throw away the woman I love by staying in a marriage that will not take me anywhere?”

I froze. So it’s true? He planned on divorcing me from the start. “Yeah ..but now I’m not so sure, Prince Nyx.” I stood up. “Go on marry her and benefit from those circumstances. I’ll do everything in my power to get us out of these circumstances that you so desperately don’t want to be a part of.”

Nyx grabbed my hand as I stood up. “My kingdom needs this merging to happen. I am also being used here.” Nyx held my hand harder when I tried to pull back. “I don’t understand where the problem is coming from. Is it the divorce you don’t want? You clearly spoke of finding love…would you want to do that while still married to me?”

“I don’t want to be married to you at all, Prince Nyx. The difference between us is that you’re being used by your parents. I’m being used by the one person I opened up to. We are not the same.” I yanked my hand away, forcing him to let go. I put some money on the table for a cab. “Find your way back to the palace.”

I paid for our food then got on my bike and drove off. I drove for five minutes before the emotions became too much and my tears were too blurry to see.

I somehow managed to pull over safely. I pulled my helmet off and threw it on the ground out of anger.

How could he do this? How could I fall for it? Him acting like he cared was just a bunch of bullshit. He never cared about me. He only cares for him and the good of his kingdom. I was just collateral damage.

Dear diary,

Nyx is a liar and a user, just like his father. I will do everything I can to make sure this wedding doesn’t happen. How could I fall for something that was so painfully obvious from the start?

Chapter 18

Nyx pov:

I thought we had an understanding, we both didn’t want this marriage and we knew that a divorce would be the way out in each getting with the love of our lives.

Was I too focused on the outcome of this entire merging that I forgot something. But what…does he want us to stay married? It just didn’t make sense.

I was not using him, I had never dreamed of anything like that. We were becoming good friends so that it would be easier for us to rule together. For us to be the most important people in both kingdoms. Is that not his dream? To get back at his parents for the way they treated him, made him quit track by not attending.

Locked him in a dungeon…I was reading into this the wrong way. Yes Liam has never expressed about anything like pay back. He always didn’t indulge in his emotions when it came to his parents but I still thought us becoming Kings would help us…maybe I forgot he is not like me.

He is sweet and not into becoming King and being free. He is into being himself no matter what happens.

I got out of the cab and walked back into the Avalon palace. The Royal guards were all surprised by my outfit as they stepped back letting me in. As soon as I entered I found the Queen and my personal assistant having a conversation.

“Prince Nyx.” Lenon bowed “We have been searching for you. We heard you left with Prince Liam but he came back an hour ago and said he had not seen you all day.” His eyes racked my outfit before looking back at the Queen. “Were you mugged, your Highness?”

I glanced down at my clothes before releasing an exhausted breath. I greeted the Queen with a smile before excusing myself without an explanation. I could hear Lenon telling someone to get me my suit.

I walked up the stairs and towards Liam’s bedroom. He came back an hour ago which means he was in his room yet when I knocked I got no reply. It took like five minutes and still no reply. “Prince Liam, It’s Nyx can we please talk.”

No reply. Lenon stood behind me with my clothes. “We don’t have much time. We need to depart soon, you have dinner with His Majesty the King and Her Majesty the Queen.”

I knocked once more hoping to have a conversation before I left but the door didn’t open. I squat down and pushed the money he had left behind through the door then made my way into my assigned room.

I took a shower, it took even longer than usual for all my attempts to stall. When I could no longer stall, I got out and put on my suit then followed Lenon out. I passed Liam’s room with a heavy heart, this wasn’t the way I wanted to leave.

I wished I had fixed it before I bid my goodbyes to both the King and Queen plus Prince Luca and his wife. I stood outside the door of the limo and glanced up hoping to get a glimpse of Liam and I saw him through the window. I raised my hand when he closed the drapes showing how uninterested he was in communicating with me.

I got into the limo my heart aching so bad, I hate when someone is not pleased with me. “Can I get some calming pills?” I asked Lenon, and he handed me some red capsules with a bottle of water. I swallowed them and took a sip of the water before laying back.

Lenon had starred catching me up with everything I had missed and what needed my attention but I waved him off. “Not today, tomorrow.” I didn’t think I could function. I have always felt terrible pain whenever I felt like I didn’t do my best but today it felt more intense.

I could hardly breathe, I was breaking a sweat. I shrugged off the suit coat. He doesn’t want this? Why did I assume he was okay with everything?

This is why you don’t assume Nyx.

I shouldn’t have assumed he was okay with this. I disregarded the fact that he was not okay with this. I disregarded everything.

What does he think of me now?

I wasn’t trying to use him, I was trying to be there for him because we are in this together. We are friends…I thought when we became Kings we would stick together and not waver for anything. We will finally fight back, our word won’t be questioned by anyone.

This merging…no business. The most important thing should be how Liam feels about this. It’s his life too…

I am not using him…I swear I am not. I want to tell him that, I am genuine when I say I want to protect him. Everything was not for any hidden intentions. I am not a bad person and mostly I am not a user.

“Prince Nyx, are you doing fine?”

“I am not a bad person right?” I turned to him. “I do what I am told I…I do my best to give everyone what they want. You have been with me for a long time…am I a user?” Am I who I thought I was all this time?

“You’re not a user Prince Nyx.”

“No I am…he said I am…he said I did everything for me…maybe I was-”

“Whoever said that doesn’t know you, Prince Nyx.” I looked at Lenon, my eyes were filled with tears. “The Prince I know would never be selfish, and if you did something it was to help. Even if you don’t like something you sacrifice to please someone else. That’s you.”

“I don’t know what he wants from me.” I pulled at my fingers. “I don’t know what he wants…what can I do to make it better? What is it that he doesn’t like? I don’t understand.” I almost yelled.

What is it that he doesn’t want? Being King and trying to be my own person…I can stop it. Is it the divorce? He thinks I want to take his kingdom…I don’t. I don’t want to become King for the sake of the kingdoms. I am becoming one because I can not refuse to be one.

Is that the problem… I want to become king?

Is the problem with wanting to marry Lady Augustus, is it that? If it is then I don’t understand. He said the marriage would trap him from finding the love of his life. I am trying to make this better for both of us.

I am trying to choose both of our hearts, is it wrong too?

The loud sound of the Balemont people made me lift my eyes. Everyone was right there to welcome me back, I nodded to them with simple waves while fighting with the fact that I was still trying to figure out what I did wrong.

Flowers and gifts were handed to me as soon as I got out of the limo to greet my people. I smiled while receiving the gifts, all of them congratulating me for managing to convince Prince Liam about the marriage. Guess my parents already shared the news with them.

It took an hour of greeting and small talk with people. Some shared their appreciation while some told me their problems. Others wanted to tell me stories, I listened well enough and fought off the heavy heart. I gave them all of my attention until Lenon told them it was time to leave.

I finally made it back to the castle where the King and Queen waited for me. Mom came and gave me a hug, after her it was my dad. “I am so proud of you son.” My heart skipped.

Liam isn’t.

Dear Diary

What am I to do to make him be proud of me??

Chapter 19

Liam pov:

“So what happened.” Luca asked as he gripped the bar above him. I held my hands at a reasonable distance under the weights, fully prepared to take over in case he can’t lift the weights anymore.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” I watched as he lifted the weight with ease.

“Don’t play coy. I’m talking about Nyx.” I tensed at the mention of him. “You’ve been a grumpy bitch since he left.” His words made me want to add a few more weights.

“I haven’t been grumpy.” I muttered.

“Uh huh lovers quarrel?” He asked, lifting the weight with a grunt.

“We’re not lovers. We’re far from lovers. The complete opposite actually. What’s the opposite of lovers? Whatever it is, that’s what we are.” I huffed.

“Enemers?” He said with a huff of laughter as he pulled the bar closer to him.

“It’s enemies. And you think this shits funny?”

“No but the way you’re acting all pissy about it is. Mom said you tried getting out of the engagement?” He said in more of a questioning tone, likely to confirm.

“I am trying and I won’t stop trying until the day of the wedding.” Pretty soon I’ll pull a Nyx and run the fuck away. Only this time I’ll actually be successful.

Maybe leave his ass at the altar and make Balemont pay for the wedding.

“What did he do to piss you off so bad?”

I tightened my jaw. “Nothing.”

“It’s obviously something because you’re-”

“Luca! Drop it.” I said through gritted teeth.

“The bar? On my chest? No I’m okay.” He pushed the weight up, with a slightly shaky hand.

“Your jokes aren’t needed right now.”

“No, but they’re funny right?”

I stepped back from him and his stupid bench pressing. I walked over to the treadmill.

“Hey! You’re supposed to be spotting me!” He yelled as I was walking away.

“I can see you.” I said as I put an airpod in.

“That’s not what spotting means and you know-” I put my other airpod in. ‘Any Kind Of Life’ by Lewis Capaldi blasted through my headphones as I ran in the treadmill.

I hate him. I really do. What I hate more is how I allowed him to use me. Why? Was it because he fucking put me to sleep with his stupid fucking voice? Or is it his storm grey eyes that I can’t seem to get out of my head?

How did I let this man break down every single wall that I’ve spent years building in a matter of days? I melted like ice cream in hell, falling right into his hands, exactly where he wanted me to. Laying on his chest as he played with my hair. Holding his hand. Fucking kissing him on the beach.

All things I shouldn’t have done because I’m straight. Right? I don’t know what I am with him around.

What hurts the most is I told him things I’ve never told anyone. He listened, probably planning on using it later when he served me divorce papers.

He was in love with someone, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is dragging me into his shit. Not only did I feel used, but I also felt like he was leading me on. Which again, is absolutely insane seeing as I’m straight.

Straight doesn’t sound like the right label. Especially since the things I thought and did when he was around was less than straight. Until I can find a better label I’m going with bisexual.

Holy fuck that’s a bi-awakening for you. Wanting someone who only wants you for your royal status and kingdom’s money. Too bad, I don’t want him anymore.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw a text notification from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: I apologize for indirectly getting a hold of your number. I wanted to apologize for that day and the way I made you feel. For making you feel like I was using you, it wasn’t my intention. If you could please text me back I would appreciate it.

I frowned reading the text.

Me: Prince Nyx?

Unknown Number: Yes

My heart dropped. I lost my footing while running and fell off the treadmill.

I looked up to see Luca laughing as he pushed weights with his legs. I flipped him off before grabbing my phone off the floor.

Me: Why are you apologizing over text?

Everybody knows if you want to apologize it’s better to do it in person.

Unknown Number: It’s killing me thinking you are still angry with me. I can’t focus…please

I can’t focus either. It puts me at ease knowing he’s feeling the same, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m mad.

Me: Of course I’m still mad at you.

So let your mind rest knowing that I am still very much angry.

Unknown number: I have an important meeting I need to get in right now. Can I call you afterwards and we talk about this a little more. I really need to know what offended you that you refused to talk to me

Me: No.

I have absolutely no interest in talking to him.

Unknown Number: Please…Can I text you again?

Me: Lose my number, your highness

This time the text was left on delivered.

My phone was snatched out of my hand before I could even exit the app. I looked up to see Luca with my phone in his hand. I jumped up, taking my airpods out in the process.

“Give me my phone.” I tried grabbing it.

“No. I’m reading.” He held the phone higher.

“Luca I’m serious I don’t have time for your bullshit!”

“You were just sitting on the floor looking like a kicked puppy. I’m reading whatever has you so down Debby.” He tripped me and I decided to just stay on the floor cause there was no way I was getting that phone back. He’s 6’5 compared to my 6’3 and is a little bit more fit seeing as he is required to go to the gym daily while I do it as a hobby.

“You’re twenty six. There’s no way you should be acting this childish.”

“I am no longer supposed to be king so I am now allowed to act childish. You.” He tossed my phone to me. “You are supposed to be king. There’s no way you should be as stubborn as you’re being. Go talk to him. I don’t know what he did to piss you off but go talk about it.” He paused. “With him. Not me I don’t want to hear about your shit anymore.”

“He’s in a meeting I can’t talk to him anymore.” I mumbled, turning off my phone.

“Then go to Balemont. It’s a three hour drive I’m sure he’ll be done by time you get there.” He helped me off the ground. “Now go. Pack a bag. Your engagement ball is in three days. I suggest you work your shit out before then before I lock you two in a supply closet for the entire ball.” He pushed me towards the door.

I sighed. There’s absolutely nothing I can do and he’s right, I am being stubborn. But only a little bit.

I went to my room and packed one outfit. I’ll probably get a hotel and come back tomorrow. I packed everything I needed for an over night trip. I put the duffel bag on my shoulder and walked out of the palace.

I grabbed the keys to my Rolls Royce Ghost and after putting my bag in the backseat, I drove off, heading to Balemont.

It was a three hour drive and I don’t think it was long enough. My mind was everywhere. What do I really have to say to him? Do I really want to hear him out? How will he feel, seeing me show up unannounced? Did he want to see me in person?

All questions were left unanswered as I pulled up to the gate of the Balemont palace.

“ID please.” The guard said, with his hand out. I grabbed my ID from my wallet and handed it to him. He looked up at me with wide eyes before clearing his throat. “I apologize, your highness, but we have to search your car…it’s mandatory.”

I nodded, watching as five guards searched my car top to bottom. “You’re all clear. Please enjoy your visit.” The guard handed me my ID then bowed.

I drove into the castle. I parked my car in the front, greeted by a valet who took my keys to park it. Another valet took my bag and brought it to a room, I didn’t really hear which one.

“Good evening, your highness.” A man bowed. “I am Lenon, Prince Nyx’s personal attendant.”

“Do you know where he is?” I asked, putting my hands in the pockets of my grey sweatpants. It was only then did I realize I was still in my gym clothes, wearing a black short sleeved compression shirt and grey sweatpants.

“You’re just in luck, Prince Liam. Prince Nyx just got back from a meeting. I’d be more than willing to escort you.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

I followed Lenon into the palace and to say it was beautiful was an understatement. Everything was fancy and polished to perfection. It reflected what everyone thinks the royal family is like to a T.

I saw Nyx walking with Lady Augustus and it caused me to stop in my tracks. Why is he with her? Did he really go back to her? I wasn’t serious when I suggested that.

Here I am, standing in Balemont Palace, watching as Nyx walks with his ex without a care in the world. He has yet to notice me, too busy looking at her. I would’ve done anything to make him look at me like that.

Dear diary,

I came here to see him and he actually went back to his ex. This was a mistake. I fucking hate this.

Chapter 20

Nyx’s pov:

As soon as I exited the meeting room I checked my phone to find a text message from Liam, ’ Lose my number, you’re Royal Highness.’ I felt a pang of guilt but then again frustration. He should talk to me so that we can fix things..now he is stressing me with his refusal to communicate.

“Your Royal Highness.” My head lifted stopping me from thinking of a reply for Liam. My eyes connected with Lady Augustus and all the worry I had been carrying disappeared.

“Lady Augustus.” I glanced around even if I knew I had nothing to worry about since we were no longer hiding. The marriage is in the works so she is no longer a threat to both the King and Queen, who are not present to begin with. I walked closer to her and I didn’t know how to greet her…give her a hug, a peck on the cheek.

I think she noticed the struggle that she raised her hand. “A peck on the hand will be enough.” I took her tiny pale delicate hand and pecked it. I gently let go with a smile. “How have you been…future king of both Avalon and Balemont.”

I didn’t know if she was congratulating me or kind of being sarcastic but something was there. “Hanging in and I am one of the kings.” I corrected as we started walking towards the garden.

“How is that going?”

“Currently on no speaking terms with the other king.” And I am still wondering how I can fix that.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know but he is angry.” I know that much, I just can’t figure out which part. I sighed with my eyes casting down to her. “And you, how have you been?”

“Still dreaming of what could have happened if you had said no.” I felt guilty once again, why am I supposed to be in between everyone? Why do I have to choose who I please and who I don’t? “I’m trying to be understanding though, if you had said no to your people then that wouldn’t have been you.”

I didn’t know what to reply with, lately, I don’t know myself. It’s like I am discovering a new me, someone who enjoys things I never thought I would ever enjoy…lately, I am also a user.

“Hey.” She rested her hand on my shoulder as she stepped closer. “Is something bothering you…” I frowned drowning out her voice when my eyes landed on Prince Liam standing next to Lenon.

Was I dreaming or something? Is he really here? “Prince Liam.” I voiced out in disbelief. Was it him here right now?

Liam walked towards me. Anger was evident in every step. His hands were in fists, looking like he was about to hit something or someone. He reached me and I legit expected a punch so when he grabbed my throat I expected pain to come after. Yet instead of pain his lips met mine in a heated, angry, and also possessive kiss. I could taste the jealousy and anger that radiated between the kiss.

I stumbled back a bit with the force he was using. I had to hold onto him in order to stay on my feet and with that, my mouth opened up to him. He kissed possessively, not like our first kiss at the beach which was gentler. This was harsh, his hold on my neck was tight and I knew it would bruise.

I didn’t know what happened but with my struggle to keep up I ended up kissing back intensely as my hand moved to his cheek trying to taste more of his sweet lips. There was something between every stroke of his tongue that tasted hotter and sweeter that I craved for more in the moment.

A hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me in. His hold was rough and kind of painful that I grunted in both pain and pleasure until I heard, “I think I should go.”

I tried to pull apart and fix myself once I realized that we weren’t alone, but Liam only pulled me in closer. His hand in my hair restricted me from moving away and the taste of his lips kept me dazed and drowned to kiss him more until Liam pulled away despite me still wanting to continue.

We stood inches apart panting and looking into each other’s eyes as we did when we kissed on the beach, only this time there was a jealous, possessive undertone.

My eyes studied his entire reddish face, I couldn’t believe I missed it and seeing it now was a dream come true after days that felt like months. But wait…is he still angry with me? Well, obviously that kiss had nothing to do with reconciling but more with anger.

Liam was the first to break the silence. “We’re getting married. You can’t see her again so please get her out of your fucking head. I want you to think of me and only me. When you wake up, I want you to wonder if I’m awake yet. While you’re in a meeting, let your mind drift and ask yourself, ‘Is Liam also in a meeting as boring as this one?’. While you eat, I want you to wonder what I ate that day. When you’re getting ready for bed, I want you to ask if I’ve already been to sleep yet. When you shower, think about the time we showered together and how it was so much better than doing it alone. I want your every waking thought to be of me and me alone.” Liam paused. “And the kingdom…occasionally.”

I tried to take a step back but Liam still had a hold on me. “Okay?” I replied, unsure.

“Nyx I’m not fucking playing. You can use me to benefit your kingdom but if you think we’re getting a divorce you’re fucking crazy. You’ve fucked with my head too much for me to just let you walk out of my life without a care in the world. I’ve had my head filled with only thoughts of you, it’s time for you to step up and do the same.”

“I don’t want to use you.”

“Then don’t. You have that option. Other things are non-negotiable.” Liam looked around. “Show me to your room?”

“Um..” I nervously pushed my hair back, my hands trembling a bit as I asked, “Does that mean you’re no longer angry with me?”

“Depends. Have you done something else that’s going to piss me off?”

“I don’t know what pisses you off?” If I did we wouldn’t have cut ties for two days.

“Lady Augustus.” He said flatly. “She pisses me off more than anything because she has something I do not.”

“I don’t understand. What do you want me to do??” Sometimes I feel like we are speaking a different language.

“She has your heart, Prince Nyx. I want it. I- I want you.”

I glanced at the area before taking his hand. My room was on the up at the last level and at the end of the castle.  No room occupied was close by mine which meant I had enough privacy. I opened my room using my thumbprint and once inside I locked it. “I’m sorry I had to bring you all the way here but I needed to confirm something without anyone peeking in…” I took in a deep shaky breath. “You got angry because of the divorce. You don’t want me to be with Lady Augustus because you want me…like…you want my heart?”

“I want all of you, but your heart is most important.” Liam exhaled. “I was mad because you said you tried running away when you first heard of the marriage, which is understandable, but what would have happened if you did? Would I be as happy as I am when you’re around? My reasons for getting mad at that were purely selfish. I got angry at you calling me a burden. Fuck I’ve heard it so many times in my life it shouldn’t affect me but when you said it, it hurt worse than any other time. When you said with this marriage you could end the control your parents have on you, it made me feel used, because at that point I had already told you so much. Some of which, I haven’t even admitted to myself. I was genuinely trying to be friends and make this arranged marriage work for us, but you had alternative motives. After finding out about that, none of what we did felt genuine anymore. I felt used, and played.”

“Walls that I’ve spent years building came down in a matter of seconds with you and I was going to be left to pick up the pieces after you got what you wanted and divorced me like you said you would in the beginning. I thought that since we were becoming closer, things were going to change and we would rule both nations together. Although I don’t want to be king, it’s something you want to do. Being king was what you were born to do and I wanted to do it with you.”

Listening to everything now everything makes sense. It makes sense why he was angry with me about everything. “I want to protect you, with all my heart I do but-” Liam cuts him off.

“I know.” Liam kissed me again. “I know.” He held my hand and pulled me towards the bed wrapping his hands around me protectively. As if he was not willing to let me go…as if trying to make a statement.

I held onto his hands. “I’m sorry.” He shushed me then held me tighter. I rested back comfortably, still feeling guilty because my heart couldn’t be his.

Dear Diary

Why doesn’t it sound bad to give Prince Liam my heart?

Chapter 21

Liam pov:

We just finished showering together and I was standing in the bathroom with Nyx as he washed the face mask off. We both already brushed our teeth while waiting for his mask to dry.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of him as I waited, which he has commented on more than once. Maybe I should get into the face routine thing so we can do it together. This is definitely not how I planned for my night to go.

Nyx finally finished and led me to his closet. Everything in there was designer and suitable for a prince. Everything except- “Is that my fucking jacket?” I turned to Nyx with an amused smile.

“I wanted to wash your clothes before I gave them back.” He sounded so honest that you could not sense a hint of a lie.

I eyed him. “Is that the only reason?”

“Yes.” He nodded honestly with his eyes on the night wear, but his face was kind of red. “What are you gonna wear? Choose anything you would like.”

“Although I sleep naked, anything black will do.”

“Suit yourself with whatever makes you comfortable.” Nyx picked out a blue night outfit.

I shook my head. “Just give me a black one.”

Nyx handed me the black one and after he finished getting dressed he walked out of the closet.

I was fully dressed in Nyx’s black night wear and I did a spin once I was in eyesight. “What do you think?” I said, walking closer to him as he put our phones on the charger.

“Looks better on me but I guess you tried.” Nyx teased.

I pushed Nyx on the bed, getting on top of him and  trapping him in between myself and the mattress. “Admit I look good.” I whispered in his ear.

“Um…you look good.” Nyx breathed out.

“I know, right?” I looked down at him with a smile. My eyes fell to his lips. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him again. “Let’s practice kissing….you know for the wedding.”

“Practice?” Nyx laughed while looking up at me until he saw a serious look on my face. He cleared his throat. “Um…I don’t understand.”

I can’t even get mad at him for laughing at me seeing as this was merely an excuse to kiss him. “Yeah. You said you didn’t want me to tongue kiss you in front of thousands of royals so let’s practice.” I paused. “Unless you want me to tongue kiss you.”

Nyx looked deep into my eyes then lifted his head and pecked me on the lips. “Like that?”

I tried to hide my smile. “No. More than that.” I said almost breathlessly.

“No tongue?” Nyx asked to confirm. “Isn’t that like a long peck?”

“In a way I guess you could say that.”

Nyx raised his head and gave me a peck. He didn’t pull back for a few seconds, and before I even realized it his hands were in my hair. No tongue, but his lips moved gracefully on mine. He pulled back for a second. “Like that?” He breathed out softly, his face hot and red.

“Yeah…but I think we need more practice.” I lied. I adjusted myself to sit on his groin, seeing as my arms were getting tired from holding myself up.

Nyx licked his lips as he attached our lips once again, his hand pushing through my night shirt.

I hummed as I deepened the kiss. I surprised myself with the fact that I haven’t added tongue. My hands went into his hair, tugging on the soft locks, and his hands went around my waist, pulling me closer.

Our groin collided causing Nyx to moan while instinctively pulling me down further, deepening the kiss even more. His tongue slightly pushed out creating an electric feeling that I’m sure we both felt since it made him groan. I felt like it was not enough I wanted more, no I needed more.

He flipped us over, getting on top while moving my hand towards his thigh almost his ass when he stopped, likely just now realizing what he was doing.

He jumped off of me. “I’m sorry.” He apologized while adjusting his bulge, obviously trying to calm himself down.

I pulled Nyx in by the collar of his night shirt. I pulled him back on top of me, where he sat on my groin. “Do that again.” I mumbled, nipping at his neck. “Please.” I said breathlessly in his ear.

Nyx pulled me out of his neck by my hair, connecting our lips once again. His hand trailed up my thigh and gripped it pulling me closer to ground our hips together creating a euphoric feeling between us.

Nyx pulled his lips back and went for my neck. He nibbled while licking on his neck. We both grunted while moving our hips against each other.

“Harder.” I gasped, my hips still moving against his. He simultaneously added pressure and bit my neck. I swear I saw stars. My eyes rolled back and my thrusts were more erratic.

Nyx fully immersed into lust and sheer bliss, giving up on persistence he pushed his hand into my pants grabbing my ass and squeezing it as he pulled me so we were grinding harder, creating more friction. The torment of ecstasy as we both breathed hard almost close to our climax.

The hotness of Nyx’s body made me forget every single thought as I focused on feeling him. Before long all I could think about was getting to the climax. The way our bodies felt together. The delicacy of his skin. This arousal increased with each passing second. Even after using his products, he held a smell so irresistible.

The feeling of my skin below Nyx’s skin was not enough. Everything felt like it wasn’t enough. We needed more. Nyx’s body trembled as his hard cock ground harder and faster onto mine. The sounds that escaped my lips could rival that of a porn star’s. It only managed to bring him closer to the edge.

“Ah!” Nyx rested his head into my neck as he trembled so close to his climax. He quivered. His hold on my ass tightening as a beautiful violent orgasm tore right through him. I could feel every pulse of his dick as his orgasm shot out of him. He inhaled, breathing in my scent as his head still rested into my shoulder.

My orgasm wasn’t far behind as I still used his now sensitive body to get myself off. “Nyx.” I gasped once I felt like I was going to cum. Before I could say anything else I came in my briefs, with Nyx’s head in my neck and both of us breathing hard.

“Holy fuck.” I said breathlessly.

Once Nyx caught his breath he pulled out of my neck and glanced down at my face. He smiled while biting his lips. “We had tension to cool down.”

I smiled. “Do we have to wait until the tension builds back up before we can do that again?”

Dear diary,

I don’t want to talk about it. Yes I enjoyed it and if he wants I will gladly do it again, but you will NOT judge me for that. Yes my last diary entry was a little…. different, but you wouldn’t understand. He’s like a drug and I’m addicted in the worst way. I find myself craving more of him with each passing day.

Chapter 22

Nyx’s POV

Early morning we were headed toward the breakfast table with Liam wearing one of my casual fits. He doubted he could look casual without jeans since he tended to wear them more but I wanted him to dress in my clothes and he did.

He looked gracious honestly, he rocked the clothe putting his sexy ass in them looking like a biscuit I could bite. I bit my lip with a smile as last night appeared through my eyes, probably one of the best feelings I have ever gotten in my entire life.

His body grinding on mine, even with clothes the need I had was extremely new to me. I couldn’t help but admire his smile as we walked side by side, I had a few meetings to attend today but I wished I could cancel them all just to spend the day with him.

My eyes landed on both my father and mother at the dinner table who stood up once they took a glimpse of us. I leaned down to Liam’s ear. “If I tell them I want to show you around I might get a free day with you.”

Liam whispered in my ear, his eyes still on the King and Queen of Balemont. “Let me do the talking. I promise you’ll have the next two days off.”

I nodded while getting closer. “Prince Liam…good morning. We were told you came yesterday evening and we missed the chance to officially welcome you to our kingdom.” The king spoke with a loud in a loud bold voice.

Liam smiled. “Good morning your majesties. I apologize for showing up unannounced.”

“That is entirely fine, we are about to become family.” The Queen replied this time. “Please join us for breakfast.” It was not like the normal breakfast. It had various meals, not like the healthy one I was used to. We both took a seat beside each other, I pinched Liam under the table trying hard not to laugh and I didn’t know why. Maybe it’s because my parent’s behavior has done a one-eighty.

“It looks delicious.” Liam smiled at my parents while simultaneously reaching for my hand under the table. “I was planning on leaving soon, seeing as I was informed about Prince Nyx’s meetings only this morning. I was hoping I could see you both before my departure.”

“No, no…Nyx’s schedule can be cleared right away.” The King replied while waving a hand towards Lenon. “Cancel all Prince Nyx’s meetings. He needs to show Prince Liam arou…”

Liam tried not to smile. “Are you sure? I really don’t mind going back, his prince duties are of utmost importance.”

The Queen waved her hand. “You’re of more importance plus the Queen of Avalon phoned me this morning reminding me of the photoshoot you two have today evening.”

Liam looked at me. “We have a what?”

“A photo shoot for the Royal Times magazine. It will be released on the same day of the engagement ball to show people a little inside of their two kings.” My father replied, I was surprised yet I couldn’t wait to get out of here and show Liam my kingdom.

“This might be incredibly rude of me, but could we be excused? I would love to see as much of Balemont as I can before I have to leave.”

“It’s completely fine.” The King replied. “Let us get the ride read-”

“Could we go just the two of us?” I interjected when he started trying to get us security. It will only put more attention on us that I didn’t want. I wanted it to be just us.

“That is dangerous Nyx.” Mom objected with a worried face… “You can’t put Prince Liam in danger like that.”

“We could compromise. You may get the security but they ride in different cars and stay a more than reasonable distance. Preferably in civilian clothing to blend in even more. That way they can step in if needed and Nyx and I could… tour without feeling….like there’s a spotlight on us.” Liam looked at me, eyes asking if I was okay with that.

“That’s fine,” I replied even if I was less pleased. I don’t know but I wanted the freedom that I got from Avalon here however it looks like I can’t get away with anything here. I sighed getting up “Let me go change then come back.” I walked back upstairs and got out of the suit and into a more casual outfit paired it with Liam’s coat in hand.

He was still talking with my parents when I got back down. He smiled and then walked towards me. “I hate that we are going to be followed around all day.” I complained with a low voice while I fixed my shoe that had untied itself.

Already in a bad mood, I was thinking of taking him to a private place but now I have to take him to official boring places. “I promise we’re ditching them the first chance we get, baby.” Liam looked at my parents who were having small talk with each other. “They have yet to call the bodyguards and driver and I have my keys on me so let’s go.” Liam grabbed my hand as soon as I finished tying my shoes and we bolted out of the palace.

“Oh my god they will kill me as soon as we get back.” I laughed knowing I was in trouble yet none of that stopped me from getting inside Liam’s car and letting him drive away. It was easy to pass through security and as soon as we left the castle behind I sighed out a groan. “You saved me from the worst adventure. They were gonna force me to show you our riches just to brag… to our winery…our farms…honestly boring.” I turned to him. “I want to show you the cutest thing ever.” I pressed in the co-ordinates. “I have been dying to show it to you since this morning.”

Liam smiled, following the GPS. “It’s only fair you get to show me your kingdom the way you want me to see it, like I showed you mine. I want to see all of your favorite parts of the kingdom you grew up in.” Liam grabbed my hand, driving with only one hand.

“We might not get time for everything since we have a sudden photoshoot, but I will try to show you some.” I rested back and let him drive until we reached to our destination. I put on Liam’s coat and as we got out of the car I led him through a willow tree and into a completely dark area. “Whistle.” I instructed with my hand holding his.

Liam didn’t even question it and whistled.

The Blue flaming bird appeared lighting up the dark place. It now glowed blue and the fountain contained colors similar to the rainbow. I was so excited, I have loved this bird since I was eight and finally showing it to someone and especially Liam was like a dream come true.

I moved behind him and wrapped my hand over his shoulder. “What do you think?” I rested my chin on his other shoulder as I watched the bird fly about peacefully.

Liam’s eyes followed the bird. “It’s….. beautiful.” He said almost breathlessly. “How’d you find out about this place?”

“I didn’t.” I confessed. “I stole this bird and brought it here.”

Liam smiled. “No, you didn’t.” His smile faded. “Wait you didn’t right?”

I smiled while letting go of him. “Actually I did.” I did steal it. “But I won’t tell you where…do you want to feed it?” I tried to change the topic.

“Lead the way, my love.”

I pulled his hand and led him near the bird’s home picking up the container with its food. “Lenon hired someone to feed him every day.” I poured some into my palm before holding out Liam’s hand. “I named him Oscar but Lenon told me it was an ugly name for a bird so he named him bluey.” I called the bird and it jumped into my wrist and started eating.

“Oscar is a beautiful name for a bird. Bluey is a little on the nose don’t you think?”

“You really think so?” He nodded making me smile, now I regret having changed my bird’s name.

He nodded. “I love the name Oscar.” We started feeding it and I laughed when Liam flinched thinking it was going to bite his palm.

Time went by and soon we had to leave the bird, I took him for a drive through the kingdom. Most parts I pointed out since it was risky getting out, people would have swarmed us and that was the last thing he needed.

I finally took him to our winery but that was to get some wine and leave. Not to learn the history that I have been telling everyone since a very young age. I also took him to a mountain where we could see the entire kingdom of Balemont. It’s where we had some wine. I drank more since I didn’t have to drive.

Honestly, I was getting drunk, not used to taking more than one glass of wine and that is to help hold a conversation.

My phone rang. “Hello.” I tried my hardest to not slur.

“Where are you, the photo shoot is about to begin. Come to Royal Times now.” I nodded even if she couldn’t see me before hanging up.

“The photo shoot is about to start we should go.” Liam held my hand and guided me to the car once more. I clutched my almost empty wine bottle. “Drinking irresponsibly is so fun.”

“I hate to rain on your parade but you’re going to have to sober up a little before we get in front of the cameras and paparazzi.”

“The what? Oh, I’m good. So perfectly fine.” I leaned forward brought out my tongue and licked his cheek as he drove before laughing so hard.

Liam let go of my hand and blindly reached for a bottle of water. Keeping his eyes on the road, he grabbed it and handed it to me. “Baby I need you to drink this. If not all of it then half of it at least.”

“But I have this.” I held up the wine bottle.

Liam snatched the wine bottle. “No, you don’t.”

“Liam!!!”

“Scream my name like that again and we might not make it to this photoshoot.” Liam joked. “Drink the water.”

I took the bottle and chugged down the water he so persistently wanted me to drink. “Now can I get my wine back?”

“There would literally be no point in me giving you water if I gave the wine back.” Liam glanced at me. “But I will say I’m proud of you for drinking the water.”

“Because you were being mean to me…oh shit.” I cursed leaning down when I noticed the paparazzi outside of the Royal Times. “I’m not sober enough to face them…fuck…fuck…fuck.”

“Do you trust me?” Liam asked, parking in their reserved parking spot.

“I’m going to fuckin curse…Oh shit…no, no, no stop it. What the fuck is wrong with me?? No cursing shit…Liam!!?” I looked at him needing help, how am I to stop this from going completely wrong? What if the entire nation hears me curse or worse say shit I am not supposed to say. I am cursing even in my thoughts. This is bad.

Liam was smiling, clearly amused, and enjoying while I was losing my shit. “I’m sorry it’s not funny I just really like it when you curse.” He cleared his throat. He grabbed my face and pecked my lips. “Calm down. Breathe.” He watched as I inhaled and exhaled. “Do you trust me?” I nodded. “Good.” Liam grabbed a pack of mint gum from a secret compartment in his car. He unwrapped it and put the stick of gum into my mouth. “Chew discreetly while I find someone to get us mints…yeah?”

“Okay,” I held his hand before he could leave. “Please don’t leave me alone.” I was scared of being seen alone and wasted. What if I say shit..no..no.. What if I say horrible things? No shit. I don’t say shit…I held my lips trying to shut myself up.

“I promise I’m not leaving you for a second.” He looked at the paparazzi. “I need you to keep your head down, steps as steady as possible. If you need to lean on me then do that, but-” Before he could finish his sentence somebody knocked on his window. When we turned to see who it was, it was the guards that we were supposed to leave with. They couldn’t have come at a better time because now we’d get past the paparazzi alot easier and have less of a chance of the paparazzi getting pictures of me intoxicated.

He opened the door. “Nyx needs more protection than I do. Do whatever you have to do to make sure they don’t get a single clear picture of him.” Liam reached into his glove compartment and grabbed two flashlights, handing them both to the guards. “Flash this into their cameras and all pictures come out bad. I swear if I see a single news article of Prince Nyx that isn’t about this magazine, you’re both losing your jobs.”

I felt bad for creating all this trouble for him, even if he looked hot giving out such orders, it was still not okay. I am supposed to always be in my right mind. I don’t even know what came over me to want to drink yet I don’t drink. I was helped out of the car, I had to cover my face with my hands. Before I knew it Liam held my hand pulling me closer to him. I tried to hide from all the flashlights as the bodyguards tried to keep us safe from the chaos.

Soon we were inside where were safe from the paparazzi but not my parents. “Shit I need to use the bathroom.” I didn’t wait, I could see her try to make her way to us. If she finds out I am drunk I will never hear the end of it.

As we went into the bathroom I took my hands off my face. “I’m sorry.” Me being drunk was stressing not only me but also him. “I didn’t mean to be like this.” I shouldn’t have gotten drunk. I’m never going near a drink ever again.

“Why are you apologizing? We were having fun and we’re still having fun. It was your first time letting loose. If anything I should be apologizing for my mother, she set this meeting up and interrupted our date. We’d probably be at home drinking together while watching stupid movies.” Liam splashed water on my face and then dried it with a paper towel. He straightened my clothes. “Okay show me your walk.”

He was being super nice and caring to me. I liked it so much but I hated being in this state. It might annoy him, but I can’t let myself ever be like this again.

I tried walking and I was happy when I could walk straight almost close to my trained walk. “I think I am ready.” This would have gone horribly if he hadn’t been here. “After this we should do more stupid things but I might never drink again.” I opened the door and led us towards the shoot.

“I want to do stupid and non stupid things as long as I do it with you.” Liam whispered in my ear before turning to the approach director of this photoshoot with a smile.

Before I could reply I saw my mom walking towards us again. I was sober enough to hold a conversation but I was not trusting myself. I held Liam’s hand behind my back squeezing it a little too hard in order to get some comfort. “Hey, is everything okay?” She asked with a smile that surprised me.

“Yes ma’am, everything’s fine. Why do you ask?”

“You… let’s forget it. Good thing you’re both here safe and sound. Let go get you ready for the shoot” I knew she wanted to say something. She held back because I was with Liam and she didn’t want to show that side of her.

We made it to the shoot, and changed into our suits. The hair and makeup took some time and I was getting hungry. We hadn’t eaten a thing all day. As soon as we were done with the makeup and ready to shoot I whispered to Liam. “I’m so fucking hungry..oops.” I held a hand over my lips hoping no one heard that.

Liam smiled then looked at the director. “Do we get lunch breaks? I’m starved.”

“Um…” The director looked at the Queen. “Yeah…do you mind taking pictures while we wait for the food?” Liam looked at me, waiting for my answer.

“We don’t mind at all.” I replied but couldn’t help but laugh as I leaned into Liam once again. “Mom is losing her shit as we speak…she is probably thinking we are going to ruin the suits and the makeup but she can’t say anything because you’re here.”

Liam chuckled. “So vulgar, Prince Nyx.” He looked over at the Queen, who looked like she was going to pop a vein but kept the fake smile on her face.

The direction called for a pose. I sat next to Liam and straightened my back yet my attention was mostly on him. “You look handsome Prince Liam-”

“Prince Nyx…eyes in the front.” Mom finally cut in. I glanced to the front but the only thing I wanted to do was laugh. I tried to fight the smile yet I failed miserably and I ended up laughing when suddenly the flash clicked.

Liam also laughed. If we get in trouble we’d get in trouble together. “Apologies,” Liam said through laughter. “Inside joke.” He managed to say.

“I would like to clarify… it’s his fault.” I pointed at him.

“He’s right. It’s completely my fault I apologize. It’s extremely rude of me.” I messed with his hair before leaning my back on his chest and telling the director to take the picture. His shocked gasp helped me smile as the photograph was taken.

Dear Diary

,

I am still drunk…but I am so happy and it’s all thanks to Prince Liam.

^^^For the ones who can’t see the picture at the top.

Chapter 23

Liam’s pov:

I was in Nyx’s room, packing our bags while he was in a last minute meeting. Today is the day of the engagement ball and I’m not sure if I’m really looking forward to it or not.

I want to spend time with Nyx no matter where we are, but I enjoy spending time with him alone, more than anything.

I just finished packing the bags when Nyx walked into the room. “How was the meeting?”

“Boring, all I was thinking about was leaving.”

“Were you also thinking of me?” I asked, pulling him in by his waist.

“What if I was?” He smirked. Never have I ever thought I’d see a smirk on Prince Nyx’s face.

“Then you’d be following those non-negotiables I mentioned the other night.” I looked at his lips, licking my own. I thought of the kiss from the first night. From the practice kissing, to the aggressive jealous kiss. Both were so perfect and everything I needed and more. “So tell me, were you thinking of me?”

“Yes.” Nyx nodded while biting his lip unconsciously.

I smiled and kissed him. “Want to take a shower before we get on the road?”

“I showered before the meeting, I was planning on showering after the ball.”

I sighed. My attempts at seeing him naked again were unsuccessful. “Then let’s atleast get food. I don’t want to get there early enough to help set up for the ball.”

“Can we have takeout?” Nyx was already excited about the idea of having something as good as a pizza, you could see it on his face.

I smiled. “Have you ever had Chinese food?”

“Are mocking me or something? Of course I have never.”

I laughed. “I promise you’re going to love it.” I paused. “Maybe more than pizza.”

Chinese food is definitely one of my favorite things to order. I was craving it right now too.

“I don’t like ruling out, but pizza has to be number one right now.” No lies, Nyx has been craving it since he had the first bite.

“Baby would you rather get pizza instead? I’m sure they have good pizza places in Balemont.”

“No let me try something new. I already tried pizza and I noticed how you keep calling me baby…you’re turning me on.” He bit his bottom lip seductivly before grabbing our packed bags and making his way to my car.

I thought of what happened the night I first came to Balemont and it was enough to have my dick stirring in my pants. How bad I want that to happen again is crazy, but I refuse to initiate anything because I want Nyx to be comfortable.

I ran after Nyx. “You can’t just say shit like that and then leave.” Fuck me if I don’t say it more often now. The thought of him getting turned on is turning me on.

“Say what?” Nyx gave a genuinely confused face while putting the bags in the trunk then took a seat in the passenger seat.

I cursed under my breath before getting in the driver’s seat. “I don’t think you know what you’re doing to me,” I looked at him before saying, “baby.”

Nyx leaned in and attached our lips together, kissing me with a certain roughness yet with some gentleness before pulling back. “Why do we always have plans?” He eyed me. “I would rather be on that, than the ball.” He motioned to my crotch.

“Oh god help us all.” I muttered before turning around and driving off. I feel like he’s trying to kill me and is getting a good laugh out of it. I’m trying not to pop a boner right now.

“We don’t have plans after the ball..maybe we can be stupid then.” He shrugged.

I glanced at him. “Are you suggesting we have sex?”

Nyx fake gasped. “Before marriage? That is so impure.”

“Baby …if you want me to fuck you, all you have to do is ask.” I glanced at him again. “You could also fuck me.” I paused, my eyes back on the road. “Think of it as practice sex.”

Practice sex sounded dumb when I suggested it. Almost as dumb as practice kissing. Though it did work. Maybe it’ll work this time too.

Fuck I sound sex craved. Truth is, I am, but only with him. I only want his body against mine. In the morning, I want to pull his body closer instead of pushing it off. I want to wake up and do it again, instead of running off before he wakes up.

This feeling is new and foreign. I’ve never wanted this with anyone else. I’ve never been one to sleep with the same person more than once. But fuck me if I don’t want to show him exactly why I got this choking hazard tattoo he seems to like looking at so much.

“If I want you, I will have you. Maybe you can practice screaming louder.”

“That’s if you can make me scream.”

“Got a point there…gotta make my research then. Guess nothing is happening tonight.” His voice was sad but his eyes were playful.

I lifted my hips enough to get my phone out of my back pocket while keeping my eyes on the road. I threw my phone at Nyx. “Do your research now.” I glanced at him. “I promise to only listen to the sinful moans coming from your newly impure mouth.”

It was completely a joke I didn’t expect Nyx to do anything with my phone. So when he picked it up I was already surprised.

Nyx laughed with a tiny blush as he went into some research. Instead of reading he decided to learn about it visually. Moans instantly filled the car startling me, yet Nyx was attentive to the phone closely. “You know what’s weird? I don’t find this attractive.” He commented yet his eyes were still on the porn he was watching.

It took a few more minutes of listening to slutty clearly faked moans blast out of my phone speaker before he paused it. “I can never randomly fuck someone, guess that is why I have little sex experiences but according to this we need lube…a condom and one of our holes to have fun. Seems doable and painful…i think.”

Painful? Yes. I’ve done anal before. Not on me but a girl who was into it insisted. I was just drunk enough to agree but not drunk enough to forget.

It felt good but I wouldn’t bring up trying it when having sex with someone. Though, I wouldn’t mind doing it with Nyx. It actually turns me on more than it did when the girl suggested it, and I don’t even have alcohol in my system.

“I’m not a random person. You could always find one of those first person pov videos of blowjobs.” I paused. “Or those grinding videos similar to what we did.” I glanced at him. “I have everything we need at home.”

“We are not sleeping until we are married.” Nyx confirmed. “We can have a repeat but we are not going all the way.”

That’s his boundary and I’ll respect it. Though, I want to clarify a few things.

“What’s all the way? I think we should prep before even thinking about putting something…as big as our dicks up there on the first time.”

Prepping before our wedding day so on our wedding night it won’t be as painful. I don’t mind pain at all but I want him to feel pleasure more than anything. Getting him up to three fingers would be ideal but I make some things work with two.

Nyx glanced to the front. “I am prepping the mind. Not the body.” He tried to avoid more questions by pointing to a Chinese take-out restaurant.

“This conversation isn’t over. I’d like to know your boundaries.” I said, turning into the parking lot of the Chinese restaurant.

The whole boundary thing is a very important conversation to have because maybe we don’t go all the way, as in anal sex until our wedding night. But does that mean blowjobs and handjobs are out of the question? It should definitely be brought up again so I know his boundaries. I’d respect whatever he decides.

I went into the restaurant with Nyx in hand. He decided to go look at the art on the wall, leaving me to order by myself.

I ordered shrimp fried rice and egg rolls for me. I ordered chicken and shrimp fried rice with egg rolls for Nyx as well. Shrimp fried rice was my favorite thing at Chinese restaurants and I’m 98% sure he’s going to like it.

I walked over to Nyx with two to-go cups. “It’ll be ready in five minutes but the way they were acting, I wouldn’t be surprised if paparazzi showed up.” I looked back at the cashier who was on the phone, staring at us with wide eyes. “We have to get the fuck out of here before then.”

“We can eat at the ball..I probably won’t eat that much but I guess another day I can try chinese.” His eyes casted down as he suggested it.

I sighed, not liking the sad look in his eyes. I handed him my keys. “If the paparazzi show, you get your ass in the fucking car as fast as you can, okay?”

“Have we had a peaceful day out in Balemont?” Nyx sighed. “Let’s just get out of here, we will eat when the time is right.”

“Okay.” I put the cups down and grabbed Nyx’s hand, leading him out of the restaurant and into my car. I opened the passenger door for him and pushed him inside. I rolled the windows down slightly and closed the door. “I’ll be right back.” I locked him in the car, not listening to his protests. He’s trying Chinese food whether he likes it or not.

I went back inside the restaurant and to no one’s surprise there was paparazzi. I’d gladly get hundreds of pictures taken of me if it meant Nyx would be safe from them. I grabbed our food and walked out of the door.

I hate restaurants who use my celebrity status to bring more attention to their restaurants. I unlocked the car and got in, ignoring the paparazzi that tried surrounding the door. I gave them a warning before backing out of the parking spot. If they get hit it’s their fault at that point.

“We’re eating this in the car and we’re going to enjoy it…yeah?” I glanced at Nyx. I planned on eating this in the car anyway but his mood seems to dampen when we mention paparazzi.

I parked into a vacant parking lot and we had a car date. Nyx enjoyed the Chinese food, but said it still wasn’t better than pizza. We laughed and talked. His mood was so much better than it was at the restaurant.

The engagement ball started in exactly four hours and fifteen minutes so we hit the road.

It didn’t take long to get to the palace. I parked in front of the palace and a valet grabbed my bags while another parked my car in the garage. I walked in with Nyx hand in hand. They were finishing up with the decorations seeing as the ball started in an hour. We were able to successfully sneak past our parents and upstairs to my room.

“I’m going to shower before the ball.” I said taking my shirt off. “I understand you already showered but another one wouldn’t hurt, right?” I just wanted this last hour of peace before the ball, where we’d be forced to socialize.

Nyx shrugged also taking off his clothes. We actually showered and nothing else. Okay…we also kissed…a little bit…. alot. We were out of the shower in thirty minutes so it doesn’t matter.

When we got out of the shower our suits were waiting for us, sitting neatly on the bed. I put on the red one while Nyx wore the blue one.

“I chose them to match our kingdom colors. Are we allowed to have new colors when we combine kingdoms?” I asked, fixing Nyx’s collar.

“I think we should choose new colors that differentiate us from what our single kingdoms stood for.”

“Black? Because this red isn’t my color.” I said, fixing my suit. It was a nice suit I just don’t the color anymore.

“I like silver.”

“Black and silver it is.” I looked in the mirror. “I don’t want to go.”

Nyx held my shoulders, looking at me in the mirror. “We have done this a billion times, we can pass through one night.” Nyx held my hand. “Let’s go.”

I followed Nyx. Truth is, I’d follow him wherever he led me. We were downstairs with the rest of our family. The hosts, my parents were announced first. Then Nyx’s parents. Then my brother. Finally Nyx and I were announced as the future kings of Avalont.

I pulled Nyx to a corner in the ballroom where no one was at. People were mostly dancing and talking with the dreadful classical music in the background. “We’re not going to have much alone time.” I said, looking over my shoulder at the party.

“So your solution is to keep us in the corner?” Nyx laughed at how childish I was being. “The ball is about us, everyone will notice in a second.”

“A second of peace with you is definitely worth it.” A second was all we had. I looked over my shoulder again to see someone approach us with a full glass of champagne in hand.

“Good evening I’m Lord-”

I grabbed the champagne out of his hand and downed it. “It’s nice to meet you I’m so glad you could come.” I pushed the glass back into his hand. “But if you could please-” Another person started walking towards us. “God help us all.” I muttered.

We might as well be in the middle of the fucking ball. These types of events put me on edge.

I looked over at Nyx and he was now in his own conversation with one of the people that approached us. I pushed through the crowd of fake smiles that were trying to suck up to us and went to grab a glass of champagne. I downed it before the server could even offer someone else one. I traded my empty one for a full one, but didn’t drink this one as fast. I made eye contact with Nyx and motioned towards the door. I just need five minutes.

Nyx shook his head but excused himself and walked towards me nevertheless. “I just need five minutes alone before I drink myself into a problem.”

“It’s so unprofessional.” Nyx teased, but started leading me towards the door. I hoped no one stopped us before we could get a break.

Just our luck, we were approached. Not just by anyone, we were approached by Lady Augustus. I could feel my irritation growing deeper.

Jealousy, fear, and possessiveness were all emotions I was feeling. I didn’t know whether to drop his hand and let him talk to her or hold his hand even tighter while we sit through this dreadful conversation he probably wants to have.

“Good evening your royal majesties.” She curtsied with a tilt of her dress. “Can I speak with Prince Nyx?” She glanced at my eyes then added. “Alone.”

Nyx clutched his wine glass, his hands twiddling nervously. “Um.” He glanced at me.

“It’s extremely rude to interrupt someone like you’ve just done.” I said harsher than I intended. I looked at Nyx. “If you want to talk to her….no one’s stopping you.”

“Are you giving me permission or are you gonna be angry about it later?” Nyx made his voice lower. “I need to talk to her and explain-”

“Explain what?” I shouldn’t be angry but fuck what am I supposed to do? It’s not like he’d choose me if I asked him to. His heart belongs to her and no matter how bad I want it, I can’t change it. If he chooses her I’d know where we stand.

“She is a guest, I can’t just turn her down.” Nyx tried to explain even more.

“Actually you can. You just don’t want to. Didn’t you see me turn down Lord what’s his face just so I could talk to you for another second?” I sighed.

This is going no where. He clearly wants to talk to her. Why am I fighting it?

Lady Augustus sensed the heat that was growing. “Maybe another time.” She decided to be understanding but before she could leave Nyx held her wrist.

“Don’t go.” His eyes moved to me and I was fuming now. “Liam…” Nyx sighed. “Why are you being so hard?”

“Stop touching her.” I said through gritted teeth. “Please…” I muttered.

Nyx let Lady Augustus’ hand go. “Can we talk later?” She nodded before excusing herself. “Liam…we need to talk.” Nyx turned to me.

“Why do you keep doing things to please her? She doesn’t love you anymore.” I snapped. I didn’t mean to but fuck it makes me mad. Why can’t he just leave her alone?

“I-” Nyx closed his mouth. “I just want to have a conversation with her.”

“That’s not what you want why are you lying to yourself? We both know Lady Augustus doesn’t love you anymore it’s you who keep chasing after the star that’s always out of reach and will always be out of reach.” I lowered my voice to not draw attention to ourselves.

Nyx glanced down. “You didn’t need to say all of that.” He was hurt by my words and it was clear on his face. “I will not talk with her if that’s what you want…excuse me.”

I watched as he walked away. I didn’t stop him. I knew who his heart belonged to in the beginning. I know it still belongs to her and I’m just wedging myself in between them. I’m selfish and I’ve accepted that.

I downed my champagne and set the glass down.

I’m selfish enough to walk over there and take what I want. As a selfish person that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I walked over to Nyx, who had went to the balcony. I couldn’t stop thinking that he might have went there to talk to her. I grabbed his hand and dragged him away from the party.

I pulled us into the bathroom and used his body to close the door. I kissed him, pouring every emotion I was feeling out. I showed him the jealousy, the possessiveness, the fear, and anger.

Nyx kissed back and I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him as close to me as possible.

I broke the kiss and pulled Nyx into a hug. “Please…you’re hurting me.” I mumbled into his neck.

Nyx’s hands wrapped around me. “I didn’t talk to her.” He defended.

“But you wanted to. Are you trying to hurt me? I don’t like her, Nyx please.” I begged. I’m not sure why I was begging. Maybe it was for something that was going to stop the pain I felt in my heart when he touched her. Why did he touch her?

“I’m sorry.” Nyx held my cheeks to make me look him in the eye. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, you’ve been so amazing to me. The last thing I want is to hurt you.”

I pulled Nyx in tighter, afraid if I let go he’d leave and be with her again. I need him to stay with me.

Dear diary,

I won’t let Nyx be with Lady Augustus. I will do whatever it takes to have his heart, even if it means hurting my own heart in the process.

Chapter 24

Nyx’s pov:

We got out of the bathroom after making it up, I understood my problem. He clearly told me how he felt about Lady Augustus and I guess I should have listened more than try to push him with something he is clearly not okay with.

I should put my priorities in front of me. I need Liam on my side and he has helped me so much to just for me to let him down like that. We need to stand together.

We left the bathroom hand in hand, already back to the engagement ball. Liam kept me close to him at all times, as if I were to run away. No matter how much I told him we needed to socialize he was focused on doing it together.

“Hello, good evening Kings, Queens, Ladies, and Lords.” A voice announced on the stage gaining the attention of everyone at the party. “Welcome to the engagement ball for Prince Liam and Prince Nyx.” The spotlight immediately shone down on us, along with a few small claps from those around us. “We had a chance to get an interview between our future Kings with Royal News and I believe we got the best of them…” he pointed to the screen. “Here are a few moments we managed to capture.”

Liam looked at me. “Holy shit we’re fucked.”

“I don’t think they will show the chaotic scenes.” I was very much wasted. Hope they didn’t catch that.

The pictures started off and we were both smiling. Our smiles were as bright as day and I could see it, that was a genuine smile right there. I squeezed Liam’s hand because he was the cause of that smile. “I told you they-” before I could finish a video of us started playing. We speaking about only stupid things, me blaming Liam for my stupid laugh.

“You were saying?” Liam laughed.

Almost everyone laughed at us, especially me. I was being silly and they captured all those moments. “They were recording us…this is embarrassing. Everyone is laughing at me.” I hid on Liam’s shoulder.

Liam wrapped his arms around me and let me bury my face in his shoulder. “I love the genuine smile on your face, baby.” His eyes were still on the screen, studying my face as I laughed about absolutely nothing.

I sighed and watched the agonizing video go by praying they didn’t notice how wasted I was. The worst part is, I get drunk once and it’s the day I am recorded. I couldn’t help but sigh in relief when the video ended.

People around us clapped once again. They invited the Queen and King of Avalon to give a speech. They announced the merging and what exactly waited for out two nations.

We nodded here and there from time to time until it was over. Liam got called up to give a speech only for him to pull me up with him.

“I’m aware of what you all think of me. I’m a failure prince, a playboy, unfit to be king. I would just like to say none of that matters. I couldn’t give zero fucks about that. Never once have I failed to do my job as a prince. Never once will I fail to do my job as a king. What happens in my personal life is my business alone. I wasn’t born to be king so this is somewhat new to me.” Liam grabbed my hand. “I’m thankful for this merging because I met an excellent prince who will be ruling with me as King.”

Even if his language was offensive and shocked many I honestly didn’t care. One of us should have had the guts to say such things to these people. We are willing to serve, protect, and give everything we can but we are also not slaves to them.

We were about to leave the stage when I was asked to give a speech. I walked over with Liam not once letting go of my hand. “Good evening.” I raised my voice, instantly getting stronger. “Thank you for coming.” I glanced at Liam…I didn’t feel like convincing them that I would do a good job. “I am thankful for everything but I am mostly thankful that I am doing this with someone like Liam. He doesn’t show it but if you all tried to see it…you would see the greatness of the man, the Prince he is. Thank you.”

We got off the platform where light hand claps were given. Liam led me outside almost immediately. As soon as we entered the garden in a dark spot he pulled me into a kiss. I wrapped my hands around his torso and kissed back matching his intensity when his thigh moved between my legs rubbing my dick. “Liam.” I breathed out while pulling back from the kiss.

His thigh rubbing my growing bulge made me pull him into another one, this time tightly with more need of friction. My mouth opened wide trying to catch my breath as he rubbed me through the slacks, getting me hot and bothered.

I was losing sanity and awareness of where we were exactly when a voice called out to us. I held onto Liam as I held my breath, hoping we weren’t found. I have had an embarrassing night already, this shouldn’t be added. This was indecent of me, I am not like this.

I pushed Liam away and tried to fix my clothes. He stood in front of me then yelled. “We’ll be there in a minute.” I heard the valet’s footsteps as they continued on further away from us.

I sighed while doing my best to get rid of the flushness on my skin. “Will they believe it was the cold that got me all red?” I asked to have some hope for them to believe me. Why do things like these happen when we have to make a public appearance?

I have never seen myself in situations like these get here I am almost every day. Liam placed featherlight kisses on my neck, fully aware he was making it worse. “Nope.”

“Liam.” I warned weakly already getting enticed by the small kisses. I wanted to stop him yet my neck was only opening up for him even more. I shouldn’t let myself get captured by his sweet kisses. “We-need to go-back.” I stuttered all the way through my words.

“Then let’s go.” Liam said but made no move to step back. Instead, he began rubbing my body as he kissed my neck.

“Um.” I bit my lips as all the resolve I had snapped and I ended up kissing him again. He pushed into me completely trapping my body that I had no escape, not like I needed any escape at all. I needed this more than I knew.

I needed him like I needed air. I needed him so much I would do anything just to have him. That is how much captivity he had pulled on me, I don’t mind anything else. All I need is him, I wanted him so bad I whined because his body wasn’t on mine the way I needed it.

“Prince Nyx.” My eyes opened to find Mom standing not too far from us with a shocked look.

“Mom.” I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

Dear Diary,

My first indecent act and I was caught… talk about bad luck.

Chapter 25

Liam pov:

Holy fucking shit. I’ve never separated from a person faster. His mom stared at us like we just committed arson.

Personally, I was used to the look, but I doubt Nyx has ever seen that look in his life. I moved back over to Nyx and stood in front of him protectively.

“Fix yourselves.” She gritted out. Nyx tried to fix his clothes and I did the same. I tried to fix his hair but he swatted my hand away. “Back inside right now.” She whisper-yelled.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered to Nyx as we went back to the ball.

The awkwardness between us as we walked back to socialize was clear as day. Nyx was keeping distance.

Every time I looked at him, he’d look away. He did everything in his power to avoid me. I understand why, but fuck did it hurt like hell. Even as they called us to sign the treaty, he wouldn’t even stand next to me.

The party ended two hours ago and after showering, I was laying in my bed alone. I’m so used to having Nyx in here, it felt empty without him.

There was too much space. Usually, I’d roll over and there he was with open arms. Now, I rolled over and the only thing I was met with was coldness and too many damn pillows.

I barely got a wink of sleep. Avery knocked on my door to wake me up and after doing my routine I was downstairs faster than ever. I wanted to see Nyx as soon as possible. I wanted to apologize to him.

When I went to the dining room, Nyx was already sitting at the table looking lost in thought. “Hey.” I said softly.

“Good morning.” He cleared his throat while fidgeting in his seat.

“I’m sorry about last night.” I couldn’t even look him in the eye.

Nyx took my hand under the table while looking around as if someone would walk in. “I can’t breathe.” He laughed nervously. “You shouldn’t be sorry, you did nothing wrong. It’s not like I regret anything…maybe a tiny bit but…”  Nyx’s body was basically trembling. “My mom is…she is gonna be disappointed in me.”

I felt my heart ache at the sad but scared look on his face. “I’m proud of you.” I said truthfully. “I’ll never be disappointed in you, ever.” I wanted nothing more than to kiss him senseless, but look at where that got us.

“Thank you, that actually made me feel better.” Nyx laughed. “Now I want to kiss you.”

“No one’s stopping you baby.” I looked at his lips, biting my bottom lip.

Nyx’s eyes trailed from my eyes to my lips. He was tempted to just attach them and you could see it written on his face clearly. Since he couldn’t hold himself back he leaned down but only for a peck then pulled back. “We are getting married, why are we sneaking around?”

“I’m a bad influence baby.” I said softly, wanting nothing more than to kiss him longer.

“I’m supposed to influence you, my parents are gonna say that as soon as I get to see them alone.” I could tell he was already dreading that conversation.

“Then I won’t let you be alone with them.” I lightly squeezed his hand.

Immediately after saying that, Nyx’s parents walked in with their valets walking behind them. Nyx stood up taking his hand out of mine. “Good morning.” Nyx greeted with a bow, both the King and Queen took a seat. King William of Balemont didn’t look angry at all, but his wife, Queen Ashley of Balemont was glaring daggers to the both of us.

“Where is Queen Amelia?” Ashley asked while taking a seat opposite of us.

I looked around. “It appears she’s not here. Have you tried checking her room? If not I’m sure she’ll be down in a moment.” My tone was disrespectful but I couldn’t stop thinking about how Nyx trembled behind me when she caught us. It brought up memories that I wish I could forget.

“You don’t get to speak  to me like that you uneducated prince.” Ashley snapped back.

“Remember who’s kingdom you’re in, your Majesty.” I replied with a tight smile. I stood up when I saw my parents enter the room. I bowed. “Good morning your majesties.”

“Did you hear what you’re son has said to me?” Ashley got up, throwing the napkin harshly as if it would make some noise. “You never taught him enough manners or at least the basics.” She spoke venomously.

“No ma’am, make no mistake I was taught manners. Forgive me if my words have angered you. People are usually a little sensitive the day after a big event.” My tone was apologetic but I was still glaring at her with the same intensity.

“Prince Liam. Is everything alright this morning?” My mother asked, looking at me like I lost my mind.

“Everything’s fine mother.”

“Your son is influencing my son into indecent activities in a public area.” Ashley whispered as if embarrassed to even say it.

“Liam?” My mother looked at me curiously. “What is Queen Ashley talking about?” There was a spark of anger in her eyes.

“Prince Nyx and I went outside to take a break from the party and Queen Ashley decided to sneak up at an odd time.” I glared at the Queen of Balemont. “We were absolutely no where near the party so the only way someone could have seen us was if they were purposely trying to and find an excuse to complain.” I looked Queen Ashley up and down. “Tell me, ma’am. Were you just looking for an excuse to complain?”

“My wife found them kissing.” William chimed in when his wife didn’t have any words. “In a place where anyone could see them…my son would never do something like that unless yours influenced him.”

I laughed. “Just say your sex life is boring it’ll make you seem less jealous.” I snapped.

“Prince Liam!” My father shouted. “What has gotten into you this morning?”

“You didn’t teach him well.” William added. “My son would never speak like he grew up on the streets.”

“With all due respect, your Majesty. Why are you making this a dick measuring contest?” I rolled my eyes. “Just accept the fact that your wife was looking for something to complain about.”

“Liam.” My mother said through gritted teeth. “I want to see you in my office after this.”

“I would like to apologize.” Nyx finally spoke after being quiet the entire argument. “Our actions last night were…shameful and we should have known better.” Nyx held my hand. “Apologize.” I  shook my head. “I would like to apologize on his behalf-”

“Don’t apologize on my behalf. I’m not going to pull some fake ass apology out my ass to please these stuck up ass people.”

“Your son is vile.” Ashley breathed out.

“I understand that.” My father glared at me. “But don’t you see you’ve been insulting him since we came in? Comparing him to your picture perfect son and invading their privacy? It’s a little disrespectful if you ask me.” My dad defended me, which surprised me.

“You’re going to defend this-” Ashley shook her head before holding her dress. “Nyx, come we go.”

“I’m sorry your Majesty, but I have business with my fiancé, whom I can freely kiss as much as I want.”

“Liam it’s fine, I will be back.” Nyx spoke softly.

“You can’t go.” I whispered. What if they lock him in the dungeon because of me? I can’t let the same thing happen to him. I was truly terrified and I’m sure the only person who could see it is Nyx.

“I will be fine, no need to worry.” He smiled but squeezed my hand for a second before following his mom.

I was worried though. What if something happened to him? How was I to protect him if he wasn’t with me?

Dear diary,

I think I fucked up more than usual. I hope Nyx’s parents don’t take their anger out on him. I’d rather be the one hurt.

Chapter 26

Nyx’s pov:

We entered into the office that was offered to us by King William. I knew this was going to be bad but I was also proud of Liam for not letting them push us down. For making us feel like we are doing something wrong when we weren’t. Yes, it was a new thing but Liam was right, we were far away from any human being.

“Did you hear what that low excuse of a prince said to me?” Mom held her head in fury. Dad walked over and hugged her, it was a rare sight. They usually never have any skin ship except to hold hands…at least in my presence.

“Let him be, we are soon going to rule both kingdoms.” Dad spoke as if Liam wouldn’t be the second King. “The treaty is signed, I don’t see why you wasted your breath on such an unsavable creature with no manners.” I was hurt with the way they were speaking of Liam. He was anything but unsavable because he didn’t need saving.

He was perfect, there was nothing to save. “Nyx, I like how you got him on your side but did you have to do such an act in the open?” Finally their attention was back to me, Dad was not angry like Mom.

“I got caught up in the moment.”

“You’ve seen the way he acts. You should be more mature than that…getting caught up in the moment.” She scoffed getting out of Dad’s arms. “You don’t get caught up in the moment, you always think Nyx.”

“Yes Mom, I apologize.”

“Look me in the eye.” I lifted my eyes. “When you ran away with Prince Liam, did you get drunk?” I tried to not panic but the surprise was evident on my face. Even Dad was surprised.

“You got drunk?”

“I can explain.” I can’t…

“He thinks I would not see through him, the way you were acting was embarrassing. Surprisingly Prince Liam was sober that day- did he force you?”

“No, no he didn’t. I took him to the winery…we had some wine but I didn’t realise I had taken more than I could handle. Liam was the one who took care of me.” I tried to explain, it was my fault. No one forced me to drink I was so happy that I didn’t realise I had taken more than I could handle.

“Ashley, I think all of this is good.” Dad held her shoulders. “Nyx can never be like him, let Liam be who he is. The people will dethrone him after seeing who the real King should be.” Dad walked over to me holding a hand on my shoulder. “After becoming King you will get to find a wonderful woman who will keep our bloodline flowing, you can even marry Lady Augustus.”

“Lady Augustus?” I stuttered out, I thought they didn’t want to know a thing about her. Matter of fact they hate her guts and her family.

“Her father is willing to offer the riches we want for your hand in marriage.” I took a step back, are they trying to sell me now? “After having control over both kingdoms we get to have the kingdom of Veeral too.”

“Can I be excused?” I felt like crying, this kind of greediness was over the top.

“I’m proud of you, I’m glad you’re my son.” He pat my shoulder before I walked out feeling beyond disgusted. They are not only bad parents but also terrible human beings. They are just gonna sell me towards anything that can help them just do they can get a few dollars.

Who does that? Why do they need more when they already have enough… more than enough. With the luxurious life they get to live there can never be more that they want, yet there is.

I felt suffocated and disgusted, the thought of them disturbed me. Don’t they feel a little bit of remorse, towards the people they are hurting…towards me?

I wanted to be alone but I have been alone for a long time. I need Liam. He is the only person who can take all the weight off. I went to his room searching for him but he was nowhere to be found. Maybe he was still in the meeting with his parents?

I decided to give up the search before walking to the back of the palace towards the pool. I sat next to it still holding my tears in. It’s hurtful to find out that the people who raised me can go beyond all for material things.

Is that why our kingdom is collapsing?Did they rob it…no they can’t. They at least care about our people…right? Or did they lead us to failure? In my stupid mind didn’t think of questioning anything that happened.

I will believe I am wrong, I wouldn’t want to look at my parents in such a light. I will lose all the respect that I have in them and I don’t want that. I want to respect and love them even with their flows so I refuse to believe they would willingly try to sink our kingdom because of greed.

I heard fast-paced footsteps and as I turned my head, Liam dropped to his knees in front of me with panic written on his face. Liam took my face into his hands. “Are you okay?” He asked, inspecting my face.

“I’m fine.” I slightly shook my head, making Liam drop his hands. “Nothing happened.” I sighed in despair. “I just found out terrible things about my parents…I don’t want to think of them more than I should or I will lose my mind.”

“Then don’t.” Liam pecked my lips. “Think of me.”

I smiled pulling him into a hug. “You’re always a calming thought.” I sighed, he took off the weight that was pulling me down.

Liam ran his fingers in my hair, calming me even more. “Do we have anything scheduled for today?”

“I hope not.” I pulled out of the hug to look at him in the eye, it is always to look at his green caring eyes. “I don’t want to do anything.”

Liam pulled his phone out of his pocket. “We have a charity event at the hospital.” He sighed. “We can cancel and stay home if you like. Maybe watch some stupid movie?”

“No, let’s attend, canceling has never been an option.” It will be done whether we like it or not. We should just do it and get it over with.

He helped me up and I was glad he didn’t ask for more information. I don’t know how I am supposed to tell him of my parent’s plans. I have always wanted to have a wedding with Lady Augustus but I have never been so disgusted by that fact as I am right now.

All I wanted was to marry her because of my heart and not because of my parents. Right now I am wishing I could cancel mine and Liam’s wedding so that we can do it at our terms. Because yes, my heart is no longer with Lady Augustus, but with him.

Only two weeks but I can’t explain how he makes me feel. He makes me want to fight back yet be weak and vulnerable knowing he has me. That’s why my heart is wavering, I can let go and fall and not be scared of bruising.

That is the feeling he brings and that is why my heart is wavering for him.

Dear Diary,

There’s a storm around me, and he calms it.

Chapter 27

Liam pov:

“I’m tired.” I buried my face in Nyx’s neck as he pressed the button on the elevator. We’ve been at this hospital practically all day, helping raise money for sick cancer kids.

I truly don’t mind helping, especially because two important people in my life died from it. With the royal family promoting the charity, people are more open and likely to donate.

“Need a massage?” Nyx was teasing but serious at the same time. The minute the elevator opened I turned to our guards. “We will meet you downstairs.”

Nyx pulled me inside and as it closed his arms moved to my shoulders. “Never had massage classes, forgive me if it’s painful.” He squeezed me, intentionally making it painful.

I hummed. “You’re just making it worse.” I pulled back and pressed the button on the elevator that leads to the garage. We were ten floors up so it’ll probably take two or three minutes. I went back to Nyx and wrapped my arms around his waist. “When do you go back?” I asked, kissing his neck.

“I think two days, the merging is gonna eat up all my time.”

“Well can you stay with me tonight?” I couldn’t sleep last night because he wasn’t next to me.

“Um sounds good to me.” Nyx leaned back into my arms I enjoyed the feeling of his body against mine.

I went to kiss his neck when the elevator stopped, pushing us both to the wall. I’m not claustrophobic so the elevator stopping wasn’t that big of a deal.

I let go of Nyx and pressed the help button. As soon as I pressed it, the lights turned off. I could feel myself start to panic.

I was holding on to the rails, shaking and hyperventilating when Nyx pulled his phone out and turned on his flashlight. “Liam.” He walked towards me. “Liam, hey.” Nyx tried touching me. “Liam, it’s okay. We will get out soon.”

“Don’t! Don’t to-touch me.” I backed away from him. I backed myself in a corner. It was the only place I felt safe right now.

Images of Frank flooded through my head. He wore his gold brass knuckles on his right hand. Following Steven’s orders, he hit me. He didn’t stop even as I was bleeding. The force of his punches were enough to knock me breath out of me. I just want it to stop.

Nyx immediately stepped back to create the space I needed. He walked over to the elevator button and tried them but with no luck, he decided to yell for help. “Is anyone there?” his eyes moved back to me. “We need help!” Nyx became even more desperate. He walked over to me. “Someone is going to come and get us, in the meantime can you try to relax…please.”

I shook my head. “I- I can’t-” I sank to the floor. Images of Steven flashed through my mind. He’d never hit me, except from throwing me around from time to time. Yet, I feared him more than Frank.

Nyx ran over and kneeled in front of me. “What? Can calm you down? Please let me help you.”

“I don’t-” It’s hot. I can’t breathe. I can’t stop shaking. I can’t stop thinking of that night.

“Hey.” Nyx pulled me onto his chest, hugging me as tightly as he could. “It’s going to be fine.”

He’s wrong. He’s coming and he’s going to hurt you.

I shook my head. No I’m just in an elevator. I’m not alone. Nyx is here.

No he’s not. You’re back in the dungeon. Steven’s coming.

My heart was pounding so hard and loud it was the only thing I could hear.

Reminds you of the cell doesn’t it? Alone, isolated, scared.

I’m not scared. I’m not alone. I’m not in the cell. It’s an elevator.

Why is it so dark? Why is it so quiet? Why aren’t you moving? You’re in the cell. He’s coming. Steven’s coming. When Steven comes, Frank isn’t far behind.

“We are going to get out soon.” Nyx soothed.

He’s right. We will get out of here, because Steven’s on his way. Remember his smile as he sat and ordered Frank to beat you? Remember him telling Amelia you didn’t learn your lesson? Remember when you stayed there and got beat even more?

He’s coming Liam and you’re too weak to stop him. You shouldn’t have said anything to Ashley. This is your punishment.

“He’s- he’s coming.” I sobbed into his shoulder.

“Who- no, no one is coming.” Nyx said, realization evident in his voice. “I’m here and I will not allow anyone to hurt you. I promise, no one.”

He held my face to make me look him in the eye to show how serious he was. “My prince no one is coming to hurt you, I got you okay.” Nyx held me again into a tight hug. “No one, absolutely no one.”

He’s wrong. He’s never met Steven. Steven always comes.

“He always comes.” I whispered.

“He is not going to come today.” Nyx filled me with pecks on his head trying to comfort me.

He will come. He will make Frank hurt you. You’re weak. You’ll sit there and let him because you’re too weak to do anything about it.

You think going to the gym will stop Frank? Frank has always been able to over power you because you’re weak. You’re worthless.

Shut up! Please…just stop.

It’ll never stop. He will never love you.

No. You’re wrong.

I’m right. His heart belongs to Lady Augustus. Give in to the fear. Be afraid. You should be, because Steven is coming and he’s going to use everything he can against you.

“We are going to get out of here and watch the sunset together. Enjoy Christmas seated on a small couch. We probably won’t fit, but we will be holding each other so it will be fine. The weather will be so cold that we won’t want to let our bodies separate…what more do you want us to do?” Nyx asked.

“Cocoa.” I breathed out, feeling safe in his arms.

You’re not safe.

I’m safe. I’m safe with Nyx. I’m safe. I’m safe. I’m safe. I’m safe. I repeated this, drowning the voice out.

“Yeah…how many cups? Or until we are tired. No rules maybe get drunk and laugh until we are shitting ourselves.”

I huffed out a laugh. “You cursed.”

“I surprise myself everyday and I have no alcohol to blame it on.”

“Thank you.” I mumbled.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“My heart…it still hurts.” I said truthfully. It was pounding so hard and so loud it was making everything worse.

“Is it something I can help with?”

I’m not sure what to say. The way I’m pressed against him, the way his voice is speaking softly soothing me, and his hand, rubbing small circles on my back calming me even more. Everything about him right now is helping me in ways I myself don’t understand.

It’s fading the voice in my head telling me to be afraid. Yes I’m still scared, but him talking about other things is helping get my mind off of the pictures that were flashing through my head a moment ago. I want nothing more than to pull him closer.

He feels safer than any corner I could back myself into.

The hesitation on my face made Nyx nod in understanding. “You don’t need to say a thing. I can talk to get your mind off of everything.”

I nodded. That’s exactly what I needed right now.

“I watched a video a few days ago, like a birthday party. Two siblings, it was the girl’s birthday but the brother blew out the candles, stealing the moment from her so she pushed him face-first into the cake…like it was a reflex.”

Nyx smiled. “It got me thinking about the future, I want a family where we can all throw cakes at each other, tease each other travel…like watch the kids argue and you know who is wrong but can’t take sides. Ugh I want to spoil them.”

I smiled as he talked about what he wanted in the future. “I didn’t know you wanted kids.”

“I love kids, I want like ten. A loud house always sounded a great idea.”

“Ten is too many. I can compromise with three…maybe five.” I said, although five is alot. I’ve never seen myself having kids. I’m barely responsible enough to take care of myself.

It doesn’t seem like such a bad idea with Nyx though. If we do end up having kids, I only want one. If he wants more than that, we could compromise.

“If they give us more grandkids then five is fine.”

“Five was a maybe. Don’t take it and run with it.”

“Five was a maybe?” Nyx was shocked. “How many are you okay with?”

“Three….but I only want one or two.” I said truthfully.

“Since I like you, I will agree with you but don’t think for a second that I will not talk you into more kids as time goes by.”

“I’m not going to be fifty chasing around after some toddler.” I paused. “Unless it’s my grandkids then I might consider.”

“What would you rather do at fifty than chase around toddlers? Life is boring at that age…trust me.”

“Are you secretly fifty?” I pulled back, studying his face.

Nyx laughed “Have you ever seen grandparents with their grandkids…they always want the kids with them. That is how I know and I am not afraid of being fifty, I will age gracefully…I will be the handsome granddad.”

“You strive to be a DILF? I mean we all have different goals in life…”

“For my partner yes but it also wouldn’t hurt if other people ogle me. It’s never boring to feel wanted by everyone.”

“I’m already wanted by everyone.” I smiled.

“Oh I know, I have seen the comments on your Instagram and before you say anything yes I kinda stalked you.” Nyx admitted before he could get teased. “Comments were ‘I would let you step on me’. People do have kinks.”

“I’m very aware of your stalking. You don’t make it subtle, baby. As for the comments, worse has been said in person.”

“Oh I know but you have also given most of them hope.” Nyx glanced at me. “How many people have you slept with?”

“Is this really the conversation you want to have while stuck in an elevator?” I asked, trying to avoid the question.

I don’t really want to talk about my sex life, especially after just having a panic attack less than ten minutes ago.

“Why not?” Nyx smiled looking unbothered “Should I take a guess?”

“You don’t have to.” I sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to give up. “Go ahead.”

“If you get someone every day I am guessing over three hundred…correct me if I am wrong.”

He’s not wrong, but I only sleep around because I don’t like to feel alone. It’s the attention and presence of another that I crave, not the sex.

“I don’t have someone everyday.” I’m starting to get irritated. Where is he going with this? Why is he so curious all of a sudden?

“Oh really?” Nyx leaned his head into the wall. “But you bring three or four on the days you bring back. Each person is counted.”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Then how many?” Nyx sighed with a wide smile that was a bit suspicious. “This is the answer I am willing to pull out of you no matter what.”

Why though? Is my sex life really that important? He knows I sleep around so why is he pushing it?

“Over three hundred.” I said, looking away from him.

“Wow.” Nyx leaned back his eyes at the wall. “Guess I should have done more too.” He said, thinking out loud.

“I was intoxicated for every single one of them.” I admitted. All except two. He was one of the ones I wasn’t intoxicated during.

“So they were more like let loose fucks.” Nyx turned his entire body towards me. “Which fuck would you say was most memorable?”

I wanted to smile at him cursing but holy shit was he pissing me off.

“I don’t know. Do you want to talk about something else?”

“Nope, give me one…I need to know.” Nyx pushed.

“Nyx…” I sighed. “Princess Sofia of Briles. She…” I trailed off, not being able to find a word to describe how good it was. “She’s the only other person I broke my rule for.” Sofia and I slept together quite a few times and each time she always managed to surprise me. We stopped sleeping together when she got a boyfriend.

Nyx leaned in and kissed me. It was full of jealousy and possessiveness. It was anything but soft and sweet. It was rough, hard, and possessive. He pulled out of the kiss when I grunted. “Oh shit sorry.” He said after realizing that he bit me. My lip was bleeding.

I touched my lip. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“I have never done something like that in my entire life.” Nyx removed my hand to examine the wound. “Shit.” His eyes widened, looking at my lip. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” I pushed his hand away. “Why’d you ask questions you didn’t want the answer to?”

“I thought I could handle them.” He admitted. “I didn’t think they would actually anger me.” He leaned toward me and pulled me into a hug. He pushed his hand through my pants and immediately took hold of my dick.

“It really made me angry.” He whispered with anger but also a hint of jealousy. His hand roughly started stroking my dick and I don’t think he had knowledge of what he was doing. My dick was now rock hard in his hand and he continued stroking it.

“I’m not sorry for biting you… I wanted to…” He leaned into my neck and bit down on my flesh. I moaned at the pain. It felt so good I wanted nothing more than for him to leave his teeth marks all over my body. It felt like he wanted to mark his territory.

“Uh Liam, you’re mine.” Nyx moaned out as his hands increased its pace. I felt like I could cum just hearing those words come from his mouth.

“Ny-” I moaned. “Nyx you’re- I’m- fuck!” My words weren’t forming and I couldn’t process his words while he had my dick in his hand.

Nyx licked my now bruised neck but his hand didn’t stop for any second. The bubbling anger was still evident with each stroke of his hand. Was he thinking of how many had done this to me? None had felt as good as what he was doing now.

He lifted my face by my chin to look up at him. He looked at me for a second before attaching our lips again, with little regard for the bruised skin. He wrapped his hands through my hair, pulling my head back before burying his head into my neck again licking my Adams Apple.

I moaned, my eyes rolled back at the feeling of him licking such a sensitive spot.

My balls start swelling, my body trembling while grabbing his hand tight. My shallow breaths and moans filled the elevator until I finally orgasmed onto his hand.

Nyx stopped stroking, his head still buried in my neck while we both breathed hard. He pulled his hand out of my pants. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…that was out of line. I didn’t-get your consent.” Nyx pushed himself back, looking completely shocked.

“I- it’s fine.” I said breathlessly. My body was still twitching as I leaned my head against the wall. “You have my consent whenever.” I let out a shaky breath. “You have my full permission to use my body as you want.”

Nyx physically calmed down but felt the need to explain himself. “I am not an aggressive person I promise, I am always gentle and careful. I don’t know who that was earlier.” His eyes searched my body. Even in the flashlight lit room, he could see the redness on my skin. “Oh my god.” He covered his face. “You’re all bruised…”

Since the bruises were on my neck I couldn’t exactly see what he was talking about. What just happened looked a lot like jealousy and it seems it’s his first time experiencing it. Was he jealous of my past partners? “I’m fine. It felt good.”

“Is your dick okay?” Nyx whispered in embarrassment.

“It’s fine.” I crawled over to him and sat in his lap. I grabbed his hands and put them on my waist. “I liked the pain.” I mumbled, kissing his neck.

Dear diary,

How does a panic attack end in a handjob in a broken elevator?

Chapter 28

Nyx’s pov:

What did I just do?

Why did I do that? How… It’s like I was fine with knowing about his past sex experiences but then suddenly I wasn’t okay with any of it. I was beyond pissed off…I wanted to bite him. It felt like if I did it will all wash away somehow but instead, it got stronger because the taste of his lips was intoxicating.

It made me want to hurt him…no. I don’t want to hurt him, I like him he is my Liam. The one I want to protect, why the hell did I feel the urge…it was jealousy. Of course, it was because of that why would I suddenly want to bite him unless it’s that?

I should stay away from jealousy because I am beyond embarrassed right now. What will he think? He will think I am not right in the head…I just went full-on vampire on him.

I need to stay away from him, I want to disappear. How did I end up doing something like this to him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he leaves me. Who bites people?

“It’s fine.” Liam crawled over to me and sat in my lap. He grabbed my hands and put them on his waist. “I liked the pain.” He mumbled, kissing my neck.

“You’re just trying to make me feel better, I’m so embarrassed by my actions.” He is just being nice like he always is when I mess up. Like when I got drunk and became a burden he didn’t get angry at me or the ice cream incident.

“No really.” He unbuttoned my shirt, leaving a kiss with each button he undid.

I watched him push my shirt to the side, his hands trailing my chest. I bit my lip while taking in his face, I have never felt this needy in my life. His lips not being on mine felt like a crime so I pulled him down and attached them.

My hands moved inside his shirt while I moaned deepening the kiss. I pushed the back of his head to ensure his lips stay on mine, I pushed his ass into me and he collided with my dick giving me the best friction that I needed so badly.

I held his hand pushing it into my pants and onto my throbbing dick, I needed more friction. “What are you doing to me?” I questioned but didn’t wait long enough to kiss him again.

I didn’t care about how indecent this was, I needed him.

Liam broke the kiss, his hand still in my pants. “I want you to feel good, baby.” He kissed my neck again, rocking his hips into mine, already making me feel good.

He kissed a spot on my neck that made me moan and tighten my grip on his waist. He kissed that spot again and my moans got louder. He licked it, then began sucking on the spot. I knew a hickey was forming on my neck but the continuous strokes on my dick distracted me enough to forget that I might probably be getting his revenge for how I bit him earlier.

Liam sat back and looked at it in the dimmed room. Yep he was purposely trying to bruise me as well. I was glad his wasn’t painful but rather gentle and nice. “You look so beautiful. So perfect.” He mumbled, stroking me faster.

My hands shot on the ground helping stabilize me. The sounds were flowing out of me like a recorded audio but it felt so good. Having his hand move that way, his thighs gripping my hips made the experience even better. He was indeed experienced in this kind of thing.

I pushed the wet strand of hair away from my forehead. “Oh fuck yes.” My body went stiff yet trembling, I could hardly catch my breath as I was getting closer to my climax

Liam kissed a trail on my jawline. “You’re doing so good.” He praised. “So fucking good.” He ran his thumb over my slit and I trembled beneath him.

I almost came instantly, I like it when someone is pleased with me but I love it when it’s him but then I remembered what I did to him earlier. I pulled him into a hug still breathing heavily. “I’m sorry for hurting you, I will learn to do it and be as good as you…please don’t do it with anyone else.”

“Baby…I don’t want anyone else.” He pulled his cum covered hand out of my pants. He looked around as if trying to find something to clean up with. When he came up empty, he shrugged and licked it. I was shocked by his action. “That’s actually not as bad as I thought it’d be.” He laughed but decided to take his jacket off and wipe the rest off.

I gently turned his head to take in his bruised neck and I almost felt the pain. It was not a hickey but rather a big bite. “How are you going to hide this?” I felt so bad. “You’re going to need to disinfect it.”

“Why would I hide it?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“You’re saying that because you don’t know how bad it looks.” I pulled my phone and switched on the camera. “It’s like an animal bite.”

He looked at the camera and instead of the face of horror that I expected, Liam cracked a smile. “I like it. I’ll disinfect it but really I like it.” He said, admiring the bite mark in the camera.

“Liam stop messing around.” I gently slapped his thigh. Why was he joking at a time like this? Before I could complain more I heard a voice outside. “You hear that?”

“Thats-” the elevator lights turned on, blinding us both.

The smell of sex was strong. “This is going to be so embarrassing.” I tend to end up in these moments quite a lot nowadays. I pushed the stop button on the elevator to give us more time to at least look decent.

Liam got up and used his coat to clean himself. I did the same too before pulling out a cologne and tried to change the smell of the elevator as best as I could. “This is hopeless.” I gave up.

I pressed the button when I heard a scraping sound. Someone was trying to break in, I stepped back ready for whoever it was coz it couldn’t be that bad. I was proven wrong because when the elevator opened both our parents were there with their guards and the elevator man.

I couldn’t look any of them in the eye. Our wrinkled clothes, cum smeared jackets, flushed faces, and not to mention the smell coming from us. This was the worst moment of my life, I wished for nothing more but to vanish.

“Th- thank you for um… rescuing us.” Liam cleared his throat, stepping away from me. I did the same stepping as far away as I could as if wishing to erase the fact that we were both in here.

“I’m glad we didn’t come ‘rescue’ you sooner.” Luca said. “Who knows what we would’ve walked into.” He mumbled.

And there goes someone with a mouth to point out exactly what everyone was afraid to say. The disappointment in my parent’s eyes made me want to run and never come back. This seems like something I have been doing lately. I am becoming something I don’t recognize. I saw Mom try to walk away. “Mom I can explain!” I went after her.

“Don’t you dare follow me.” She stopped me with a warning. “Don’t think of coming home.” My mouth opened in shock, I wanted to explain myself but she walked away without hearing me out.

Dad walked next to me, he shook his head in disappointment before following Mom out. I took another path wanting to be away from everyone.

I walked out ignoring the noise behind me. I had to change my destination when I saw the paparazzi at the front of the hospital. “Nyx…baby.” Liam grabbed my hand.

I turned to him, tears flowing down my eyes. “They looked at me like…” I couldn’t even voice out the look. “I disgusted them.”

Liam pulled him into a hug, rubbing small circles on my back. “Baby…”

“I disappointed them.” I cried into Liam’s shoulder. My worst fears were happening. I wanted what I did at the moment but now…all I wanted was for Liam to not let me go.

Dear Diary,

I want to regret the elevated scene but I can’t, I did what my heart yearned for though it still hurts that I can’t please everybody.

chapter 29

Liam pov:

Nyx laid on my chest, while I held a protective arm around him. It’d been hours since the whole elevator thing and we were currently laying in my bed.

We laid there in silence, he seemed like he needed it. I tried giving him space but he grabbed my hand before I could even leave. We’d been laying here ever since.

I wasn’t exactly sure what to say to him. It was somewhat my fault for what happened in the elevator.

I heard Nyx sniffle in the silent room. I lifted his chin, wiping the tear the just fell. “Nyx…baby talk to me.”

“It hurts that I am beating myself up for disappointing them.” He sniffed. “They do things every other day but I can’t be angry or disappointed in them. I always understand them, they do what they do because it’s the reason why they gave birth to me and I am not allowed to let them down. This is my third mistake and it’s killing me.”

It hurt seeing him so sad. “They’ll never be satisfied. You care so much about what they think and say and it’s hurting you. Did you like what happened in the elevator?”

“I started it, I wanted it…it was for me. Why does thinking about me sound selfish?”

“That’s all that matters then. Believe it or not but it’s really easy to be selfish, especially when you’ve been selfless your entire life.”

Nyx turned his entire body to me. “Have you always been selfish?”

“Yes. But I’ve always been able to be selfish. Being born as an extra prince granted me that.”

“I try and it kills me, but it’s also exhausting being unable to please everyone.” He said softly. “Sorry for being like this.”

“Don’t apologize baby. How about you stop trying to please everyone.” I knew it was easier said than done. “Be selfish for once. Tell me, what’s something you want?”

“To kiss you anytime I want and not feel like I should be sorry about it.” Nyx held my hand. “But mostly, I want you but I am also scared of not knowing how to please you enough.” Nyx held my hand bringing it to his chest and hugging it tightly. “I’m a quick learner.” his pleading eyes connected with mine.

“Then do it. Kiss me.” Please me, I wanted to say but decided not to.

Nyx leaned in and attached our lips, for a second he didn’t move them. The electric feeling of his soft lips was everything we needed. The feeling of reassurance as he brought his hand onto my cheek while pulling himself closer to deepen the kiss even more was what we needed. “Tell me how you like it.” Nyx’s thumb massaged my neck as he whispered down onto my lips.

“I like whatever you do to me.” I said, biting back a moan.

Nyx’s hands trailed my body up to my ass, cupping it. He pulled my pajama pants down. His hands started tracing my inner thigh gently. He paid attention to every whimper and moan I let out.

His fingers found my balls and he massaged them while pulling his own pants down. He took hold of both of our dicks and we both grunted when he started stroking. It felt so good I found myself arching into him.

This is what he wanted, to be body-to-body with me like this. He held my hair, pushing my head back then kissed my Adam’s Apple, licking it. I moaned. That’s the spot he was nibbling at earlier, so it was more sensitive than usual.

He pushed himself closer. “Unbutton your shirt for me,” he asked.

I did as I was asked and unbuttoned my shirt. My eyes were on him, watching every move he made. I wanted this just as bad, if not more.

I craved his touch, his full attention on me. I craved everything about him. I want him more than I’ve wanted anyone else ever.

Nyx’s lips trailed down to my nipples, sucking and nibbling on them. His hand was still pumping fast, our moans and grunts filled the room. With each pump, with each friction of our dicks increasing the sensation. It felt amazing.

“Liam, am I doing well?” Nyx breathed out heavily.

“Yes baby, you’re doing well.” I raked my fingers through his damp hair, pushing it out of his face. “You’re so perfect.” I muttered.

Nyx smiled leaning down giving me a peck that deepened, becoming sloppy. Nyx’s mouth opened with a silent laugh. “I like pleasing you like this.” He moved his head into my neck once again. “I can do it every day.” His words were bringing me closer and closer to my climax. His movements and grip became stronger and faster bringing us both to our orgasm.

My eyes rolled back and hips thrusted forward as I came into Nyx’s hand. I was panting and moaning mess as Nyx kept stroking riding out our orgasm and mixing our cum. “Oh fuck.” I panted, my body still trembling as he let go of our dicks and fell beside me.

He rolled over and grabbed his pants and wiped the semen off of his hand as well as our bodies. He threw the pants back on the floor before turning around and hugging me while pecking my shoulder. “I like you.”

I laughed. “I like you too.”

“No, I like you.” Nyx pulled his head back to glance into my green eyes. “My heart is starting to belong to you.”

My eyebrows furrowed. “That’s not something you should joke about.” I want his heart more than I want my next breath.

Nyx leaned in for a little kiss. “Why would I joke when I am already scared at how fast I am starting to like you? You have no idea how much you bring into my life. I never thought life could feel peaceful and disorderly yet being happy. You give me something I never thought I needed, something I didn’t know existed.” Nyx smiled sadly. “I always feel ashamed when I cry but you make me feel like it’s fine even if I feel like I am being a burden you comfort me in ways I never knew I needed. You have shown me life can be fine if you break the rules…I like you so much it’s hard to explain but I like everything about you.”

“Baby-” I didn’t know what to say. It made my heart happy to know he liked me, and not just as a friend but as a lover. I pushed him onto the bed and kissed him like my life depended on it.

I could never make him feel like a burden. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me and I’m so glad I met him. I’ve never been able to open up to someone like I open up to him. I’ve never been one to want to stay in bed all day just to cuddle. Hell I’ve never been one to cuddle, but I want to do it with him.

Nyx wrapped his hands around me, deepening the kiss even more. He moaned, still not getting enough so he pulled me lower so we were body to body.

As we were about to go another round Nyx’s phone started ringing. He glanced at it. “It might be my parents.” I nodded, understanding as he pushed me away before quickly picking up the phone only to find Lady Augustus’ name.

I got a glance at the caller ID and I was not fuckin happy anymore. I’m angry that she interrupted us but also scared that he might hear her voice and realize that his heart wasn’t becoming mine after all. I watched, waiting on what he was going to do. I mean of course he was going to answer it.

I was surprised when Nyx pushed the silent button before rolling back on the bed and kissing me once again.

I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest. He chose me over her! I pulled him closer, kissing him more passionately than I ever have. I kissed his neck. “I want you….now.” I flipped us over so I was on top of him. I kissed my way down his body. “Tell me I can have you baby….please.”

“Whatever you want take it.” He said like he didn’t even have to think about it. Like it was natural and he wanted it just as bad as I did.

“I want to go all the way…..are you ready for that?” I wouldn’t do something that makes him uncomfortable. I’d gladly go at his pace at whatever we do.

“Everything.” Nyx pulled me back to his lips.

I want all of him.

Right now.

I pulled back and got up to grab condoms and lube from my drawer. I looked at Nyx who was watching my every move. “Are you sure you’re ready? If you change your mind I understand.” I said, giving him a chance to back out.

“Come here.” Nyx pulled me back onto him. “Whatever you’re thinking of doing, do it.”

“Nyx I want to have sex with you. Full on sex, kind of like what you saw in that video when you were doing research on this.” I said it as clearly as I could, making sure he fully understood what I wanted in this moment.

“Are you worried about something?” Nyx got nervous. Probably because I sounded more like I was backing out.

“A little.” I admitted truthfully. I’m worried about hurting him.

Nyx smiled. “Makes me want this more.” Nyx pulled me down for another kiss.

I kissed him back, pouring all of my desire into the kiss. I began unconsciously grinding into him. My hands found its way into his hair.

Nyx matched the intensity and slowness of the kiss. His moves matched mine as low moans escaped. His body burning up with a desire to have me onto him or under his skin. Like he needed it all and more.

I pulled back. “If we keep doing this I’m going to cum before even have a chance to be inside you.” I breathed out.

I pulled away from him and grabbed the lube. I poured some on my fingers before lining a finger with his entrance. I felt him tense. “If it hurts please tell me and I’ll stop.” The last thing I wanted was to hurt him.

“Okay.” Nyx breathed in deeply.

I pulled him into a kiss, trying to distract him as my finger slowly entered him. I was so focus on not hurting him that I was the one becoming tense.

Nyx couldn’t really get into the kiss, he broke it to glance down at what I was doing. “If you’re going to take care of me you should be more calm.” Nyx pulled me into a tiny kiss just for reassurance. “Right my prince?”

“This isn’t you first time calling me that.” I said, avoiding the fact that he could see I was definitely not calm in the slightest. I loved when he called me his prince. It turned me on and made my heart beat faster.

“Aren’t you….uh-” I stopped my movements. “Why did you stop?”

“Not important.” I said, but slipped a second finger in nevertheless. It was slow if not slower than the first one. “Why do you call me your prince?”

“Because I want you to be mine.” Nyx moaned biting his lip while grabbing onto the sheet. My dick twitched at both the sight and his words.

“I am yours baby.” I said, planting a delicate kiss on his shoulder. My fingers were fully inside him now. I slowly pulled my fingers out before pushing them back in, getting him used to this feeling before I insert another finger.

“Mhm aah…right there.” Nyx moaned when my finger lightly brushed his spot. He pushed his head deeper into the pillow, shivering from sheer need.

I used my other hand to rub his body as I inserted a third finger. “You’re doing so good baby.” I muttered as I watched him come apart from just my fingers.

Nyx wrapped his hands around me and pulled me into a kiss. It was sloppy but fucking perfect. He’s perfect.

I separated my fingers while still inside him, one touched his spot dead on. He pulled back, gasping and pressing himself down, fucking my fingers.

“Oh fuck.” Nyx pushed himself onto my fingers needing more. I never thought hearing someone curse would turn me on, but when Nyx did it I wanted nothing more than to hear him say it over and over again.

I wanted to fuck him but I wasn’t sure if I’d prepped him enough. “Baby….are you ready?”

“Yes…yes I’m ready.” Nyx trembled, a bead of sweat fall to the side of his temple.

I slowly pulled my fingers out. I grabbed the condom, used my teeth to open it and put it on. I grabbed the lube and put more on the already lubricated rubber. I grabbed Nyx’s hips and flipped us over. I was now laying on the bed with Nyx above me.

He looked at me confused. “I don’t want to hurt you.” I said, looking in his storm grey eyes. “I want you to go at your own pace.” I grabbed his hips, pressing him down until the tip of my dick lined with his hole. “We can go as slow as you need.”

He slowly sank down. He gasped in both pain and surprise. He completely froze after just getting the tip inside him. I was going to suggest we stop. Maybe it’s too soon.

Nyx shook his head, like he was reading my thoughts. He sunk down a little further before stopping. Tears brimmed in his eyes and he held his breath, sinking down another inch.

Nyx leaned down and hid his head into my shoulder but I could feel as tears fell down his cheeks. He held on to me and I didn’t mind. He could do whatever he needed to do.

It hurt me to see him like this. I encouraged him to quit if he felt like he couldn’t go on. He was doing well so far but if it hurt then he shouldn’t feel like he has to keep going. He released a shaky breath unable to hold the pain and the fact that he was tearing up.

“Baby you’re doing good.” I reassured him.

Nyx held harder onto me like an anchor. He slowly slid down slowly but stopped with the pain being so strong he couldn’t go on. He lifted his head and glanced into my eyes. We were experiencing the same pain together, his was just worse and it hurt me to the core. Nyx leaned down and pecked me.

I gripped the sheets so that I wouldn’t touch him and make him go faster than he needed. I felt like my dick was going to break in half. I was more than halfway in now. He sank down some more, gripping my arms as he did so. A few minutes and another shaky breath later, he sank down some more.

“You’re almost there baby.” I gasped in encouragement. He held his breath as he sank down another inch. I was fully inside of him now and holy fuck it’s a tight fit. Nyx hadn’t moved. He sat there, stiff, trying to get used to the feeling. “You did good baby.” I rubbed his thighs. “So good.”

“It hurts.” Nyx admitted, the pain was evident in his voice. He was stiff, like the slightest movements hurt. He gripped me hard as if that would wipe away all the pain. Fuck I wish it did. His once hard dripping dick was now limp.

“I know…I know.” I took a deep breath, not liking the fact that he was in pain. “Do you trust me baby?”

“Mhm hmm.” Nyx moaned out in pain.

I grabbed his hips and lifted him up, not enough to where my dick wasn’t still inside him, just enough to where I was aligned with his prostate. I slowly pulled him back down, hitting his spot. He shivered. “That feeling…” I gasped, getting used to feeling him gripping me again. “That’s what we’re doing this for.”

Nyx slightly arched his back but still moaned in pain. His dick was now semi-hard, leaking once again. “Do that harder please.”

“Harder?” If he’s still in pain I don’t want to do it too hard.

“Please hit it harder.” He was desperately shivering for it.

I’m not one to deny him so despite my better judgment I lifted him up, lined myself with his prostate, and slammed him down.

“Uhh!” Nyx grunted now full-on hard, his sheer need coming back. I kept doing this, hoping that with every slam onto his spot, the pain was going away.

I let go of him. “Ride me, let’s go at your pace.” I said, handing him full control. I don’t want to accidentally do something he’s not ready for.

“No…no, fuck me.” Nyx begged.

“Baby….are you sure?” I’m more experienced than he is and I can 100% handle going at his pace, but can he handle going at mine?

“Yes…please.”

I pulled him off of my dick and laid him down on his back, next to me. I got on top of him, lining myself up with his entrance one again and slammed into him, not as hard as I could but harder than before. I was still worried about hurting him. It might feel good now but when we wake up tomorrow it won’t feel as nice.

“Liam harder please harder…I can take it.”

“Fuck.” I muttered. Sometimes I hate the fact that I can’t tell him no. I pulled out and slammed back in, this time also letting myself get out of my head enough to enjoy it too. Fuck did it feel good.

I think I enjoyed the pleasured face he was making, the lustful look in his eyes, and the moans of pleasure coming out of his mouth more than I enjoyed the pleasure I was feeling. It’s weird but he was what was making me horny. It’s usually just about sex, but sex with him is different and I don’t know why.

“Aah-ah!” He held his fist into the sheets with one hand, and the other touching my hand for support he didn’t need yet needed.

The sounds he was making encouraged me even more. I kept pounding him exactly how he wanted to. I didn’t hold back. I didn’t let myself get lost in my head. I just fucked him and kept fucking him.

Nyx held a hand over his lips afraid to make more noise than what he was already making.

I grabbed his hand. “Baby, I want to hear you.” I don’t care if others hear him, if they have a problem they can take it up with me. I want to hear every moan and whimper that he’s making because of me and my dick.

Nyx pulled me down moaning inside my mouth unable to contain his sounds no matter what so he let it go. I enjoyed every second of it. He locked his hands into me as he stared into my eyes.

He screamed while tightening around me his back arching before slamming back down, meeting my thrusts. His legs wrapped around my hips while pulling the sheets hard his body and breath shivering with each slam.

I enjoyed watching him come apart on my dick. It brought me joy to see him so indulged in pleasure that he just forgets and lets it take over. “Fuck baby I wish you could see how perfect you look right now.”

Nyx’s already red face flushed harder, he pulled me in and hid into my shoulder with a smile that wiped off when I increased my pace, faster yet steady.

A few more harsh thrusts later, Nyx came. Completely untouched. He was a trembling sensitive moaning mess and the sight alone had me filling the condom. I collapsed on top of him without even pulling out. “I’m sorry I can’t get up right now.” I breathed out.

Nyx only hugged me while pecking my  shoulder. “First cool down.” He too was breathing heavily still trying to catch his breath.

I slowly pulled out after catching my breath. “I’ve never met someone who wants it as rough as you do.” I huffed out a laugh as I tied the condom.

“Oh my god.” Nyx hid behind his hands, he was completely naked and dirty and had to hide his entire body but his red face needed it even more. “Please don’t tease me please…please, please.” He mumbled and pleaded behind his hands.

I walked back over to him and pulled his hands from his face. I pecked him on the lips. “I’m not teasing you baby. You were amazing.” I kissed him on his neck. “You did so good baby.”

“I did?” Nyx wrapped his hands around me. “But you did everything…so well.” He added his face burning.

“Thank you, you were even better than I was. You were so perfect, so beautiful.” I kissed his jawline.

“When you say things like that it turns me on.” Nyx whispered against my lips. “I like it when you say things like that.” He pulled me into a kiss while pulling his body onto mine to lose any space between. “Can you fuck me again?”

I was shocked to say the least. We’d just finished less than five minutes ago and he was ready to go again? I’m definitely not complaining.

“Now?” I asked, already feeling myself getting hard again.

“We are both hard.”

How could I turn someone who’s as beautiful as him down?

Dear diary,

I am going to fuck him senseless and enjoy every moan that comes out of his perfect mouth.

Chapter 30

Nyx’s pov:

I felt like I had discovered a new thing after constantly being unable to be satisfied with Liam. I wanted more and he was able to deliver each time. At one point I felt like I had discovered something that I have been lacking all along.

It had to be the best body-to-body I have ever experienced. I don’t want to compare anything but I have to admit Liam blew me away.

Too sad I didn’t get to spend the day with him because my parents sent a driver to come pick me up. They had thrown me out yesterday, I wasn’t expecting them to want me back almost immediately.

As we approached the palace I held my lower back with a wince in the aftermath of everything that went down last night. My door got opened and I had to take in a deep breath before pushing myself up. I almost landed on the ground but Gary held me.

“Are you okay Sir?” I nodded taking a deep breath fighting to not wince. It was not working and I couldn’t completely take out the limp as I walked.

Ugh, this is embarrassing. Can everyone tell what happened? “Um…I knocked my toe.” I felt the need to defend myself even without any questions asked. No one would dare ask but I had to explain.

“Should we call a doctor?”

“No!” The hastiness in my voice almost gave it away that I was indeed hiding something. I cleared my throat. “I mean no, it will heal.”

I limped all the way to my room unable to meet my parents right away. I needed to rest for a bit before I could face anyone. I didn’t know how long I was out it I woke up to the ringing of my phone.

Upon picking it up I saw Liam’s name but before I could answer Mom walked in with an angry-looking face. “You came back and you didn’t bother to come see me?” I declined Liam’s phone as I pushed myself off of the bed with a hiss.

“I apologize, I got tired during the ride-”

“Why didn’t you come back yesterday? Why did we have to get a driver to bring you back?” She lifted her dress while getting closer to me. “Is he ruining you?”

“Um-I-” She held my hand and directed me back to my bed, I winced at how roughly she pulled me.

“What happened? Are you hurt?”

“No…I knocked my toe. It’s nothing.” She nodded as we took a seat. She remained close to me, her hand still in mine. She pushed the hair that had fallen onto my forehead. “I was sleeping…I didn’t get time to prepare myself for the meeting.” I had to be always clean, she doesn’t take disorganization very well.

“That doesn’t matter right now.” She said while still fixing my hair to perfection. “You were never like this, you always listen. When you make a mistake you would find me right away.”

“I apologize.”

“You didn’t come to find me. Are you having so much fun with him that you didn’t try to come and find me? You didn’t try to explain yourself?”

“I like him.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Her hands retracted from my body.

“I want to date him.” She stood up with a huff while holding onto her dress. Her eyes were wide I think until they grasped the weight of what I have just said. “And I am glad I am marrying him.”

“You can’t like him.” She spoke sternly with the swipe of her hand as if indicating that this was not debatable.

“Shouldn’t it be good to like someone I have to marry so I can help both our kingdoms and also be happy?” These have to be the best circumstances and I am lucky that the marriage is between him and me.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She say back down and this time spoke softly. “Just two weeks ago you were willing to run away with Lady Augustus but you saw the truth. Soon you will see that- that prince is not what you need.” The venom in her voice when she said ‘that prince’ sent fear down my spine.

“He is I am sure and I did love Lady Augustus.”

“Good cause you are going to marry her.”

“I don’t want to marry her anymore, I want Liam.”

“You have always been a good boy.” She held my cheek, I tried to wiggle out of her hands but she made me look at her. “Don’t you remember how you cried in your father’s office wanting to marry Lady Augustus? We want to reward you for being a good boy and marry her. Isn’t that what you want?”

“But I don’t want to anymore.”

“You’re not sure.” She caressed my cheek. “This is why you should listen to me and your father. We will decide the right thing for you.”

“You want me to marry her because of the riches she will provide.”

“But it will make you happy-”

“I don’t want her!” A hard slap made my head turn to the side.

“Is that how we speak?” I held my cheek while biting my lip to stop the tears from flowing. “I asked you a question, is that how we speak?”

“No.” I whispered.

“A prince should…”

“A prince should always remain calm and collected. No matter what situation he is pushed into he should always set an example. Be polite, efficient and talk with respect. He should always listen and provide whatever is needed of him because his life is not only his but his people’s.”

“Now apologize for this rude behavior of yours.”

“I am sorry for raising my voice when you were only correcting and guiding me.”

“Come here.” I leaned into her touch and she hugged me. “I am forgiving you, my sweet boy.” She cooed. “I’m sorry for slapping you. I did it because you were out of line, let me see.” She checked my cheek. “It’s turning red, I would have never done it if you didn’t raise your voice.”

“I deserved it.” I hugged her again. “You have never hurt me before.”

“Because you have always been a good boy.” She pulled me out of the hug and looked me in the eye. I was still holding my tears in. “What happened in that elevator?”

I took in a deep breath not knowing where to start from. “It will never happen again.”

“I asked what happened?” She still sounded soft but I knew not to push her even more.

“We touched…I got caught up in the moment mom it will never happen again I promise.” The tears I was holding in finally fell.

“Did you enjoy it?”

I opened my mouth but I blanked out unable to breath. The question was too heavy to answer, I glanced down while twiddling with my fingers. “ Yes. “ I whispered.

She sighed with a smile. “Is that why you think you like him?” Why was she happy? “You told Lady Augustus you loved her the minutes she slept with you.” She took my hand again. “Just because it was fun doesn’t mean you like him.” She pecked my cheek with a smile. “Clean up and come down for dinner.”

“Yes, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She pecked my cheek again with a wide smile. “I love you, you’re my pride and joy and I am so glad to have you as my one and only son.” I hummed then watched her walk out leaving me in my thoughts.

Maybe I don’t like Liam and I like him because we touched. I started feeling strongly about him after we touched and the same goes for Lady Augustus. I started loving her after our first time.

I held my head feeling everything crumbling, I was so happy knowing I liked Liam but now…I might not like him.

Dear Diary,

I’m confused.

Chapter 31

Liam’s pov:

I sat on my bed, waiting for a notification. Nyx hasn’t answered my calls or texts and I’m worried. He went back home a few days ago and I haven’t heard from him.

Did I go too far with the sex? Maybe he wasn’t ready and hates me for it. Maybe after he left he realized he loved Lady Augustus and was just confused.

God I’m over thinking it but I’ve never been more scared in my life. I grabbed my phone and decided to send another text.

Me: You didn’t say good bye before you left…..I’m worried

Are you okay?

Text me when you get a chance

Fuck….nyx are you okay?

Can you please text me back

Are you mad at me?

If i did something wrong please tell me I’m sorry

Baby

I’m sorry

I called you…. several times

Call me back

Please

Are you okay?

I’ll see you at the ball tonight…can we talk?

I tossed my phone on the bed after sending the message. I shouldn’t be stressing over this maybe he’s just busy. Like really busy. Yup that’s it. He’s just busier than ever.

A knock that the door pulled me out of my thoughts. I got up to open it and found Avery in his suit as usual. He had a bag in his hand.

“Good evening your highness.” He bowed. “The Charity ball starts in one hour. Her majesty would like to leave in thirty minutes. I brought your suit, black just like you asked.”

I grabbed the suit bag. “Thank you, Avery I’ll be down shortly.” I closed the door and put the bag on the bed.

I glanced at my phone, still no notification. After spending twenty minutes getting dressed I checked my phone once again. Absolutely nothing.

I fixed my suit then grabbed my phone and wallet. I walked downstairs. He’s going to be at the ball so there’s nothing to worry about. The sooner we leave the sooner I get to see him.

“What’s with the sad look?” Luca asked when he saw me.

“I’m not sad.” I mumbled, pushing past him. Unfortunately Luca didn’t take the hint and followed me.

“Talk to me.”

“I’m being fucking ghosted that’s what’s wrong.”

“By who?” He asked, confused.

“Nyx! Who else would I actually care about ghosting me?”

He rolled his eyes. “Well why is he ghosting you. Did you say something? You kind of don’t have a filter.”

I thought about it for a second. “No…I don’t think I said anything.”

He hummed. “Maybe it was the elevator? We’re going to the charity ball so why don’t you ask him there?”

I practically ran to the car. It took longer than I would’ve liked to make it to the venue and we were far from being the first people there.

Nyx was no where in sight but I did see Lady Augustus and Princess Sofia. I glared at Lady Augustus and gave Princess Sofia a small wave.

I grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and downed it. Nyx was still no where to be found and I was kind of scared he wasn’t going to show at all.

Finally, he and his family walked in. I walked over to him. “Nyx…can we talk?”

Nyx pretended to not hear me and kept on following his mom while greeting every guest except me.

“Nyx.” I walked over to him when his mom was busy in a conversation with another Queen.

“I am busy.” Nyx snapped his eyes cast down unable to look me in the eye before walking back to his mom pretending to be busy even if he was doing nothing.

Before I could follow him, someone grabbed my arm. I turned around and there stood Princess Sofia. She looked beautiful as always.

“Prince Liam, what do I have to do to get you to talk to me?” She said, shamelessly rubbing her hand up my arm.

That’s exactly my question. What do I have to do to get him to talk to me?

I glanced at Nyx. He was very obviously pretending to be engaged in a conversation. I sighed and turned back to Princess Sofia. “Well you have my attention now Princess.”

“Just the way I like it.” She smiled. “Want to get out of here and do something fun?” She whispered in my ear.

I glanced over at Nyx. “No. I have to stay here.”

“Well how about tonight. I’m staying here in Avalon another day so maybe we can…hang out.” Her advances were not subtle and I don’t think she was trying to hide the fact that she wanted to have sex. I looked over at Nyx again, he was still in a conversation, not sparing a single glance at me. I felt like we were strangers now. “Who do you keep looking at?” Sofia asked, slightly annoyed.

“Prince Nyx, and I’m not interested in anything sexual.” I answered honestly.

“I didn’t know you were turning over a new leaf. I’ve never met Prince Nyx. Why don’t you introduce us?”

I looked at her. “That’s not such a good idea.”

“Why’s that?”

“Um….” I looked back at Nyx. I sighed. “Why not?” It might be a chance to actually talk to him. I grabbed her hand and brought her over to Nyx. His mother was indulged in a conversation with someone else once again. “Good evening Prince Nyx.” I put on a fake smile. “Princess Sofia and I were just talking and she mentioned she’s never met you. Princess Sofia is a close friend of mine.” I pulled her closer. “I’m sure you remember her right?” I looked at Sofia. “This is Prince Nyx of Balemont, my fiancé.”

“Ah yes I almost forgot about your engagement. My apologies for not being able to attend your engagement ball. This is a rather interesting business marriage.” Princess Sofia said with a smile. “You’re making history.”

Nyx looked her up and down then back to me, completely ignoring her. “I’m not sure I do.” He pointed behind him. “I need to go back.”

I let go of Sofia and grabbed Nyx’s hand, pulling him close enough to whisper in his ear. “Are you sure? I remember you biting me because of her.”

Nyx tensed up, his eyes moving towards her. His eyes stayed on her for a good thirty seconds before his eyes moved back to me. “What are you trying to say?” His voice was irritated.

I shrugged. “Nothing. She just wanted to meet you before we left. Be polite.” This wasn’t how I planned for this conversation to go but when he acts like I don’t exist it irritates me so much I can’t help wanting to piss him off too.

Nyx pulled me by the back of my head bringing me closer. He leaned in closer to my ear and whispered dangerously.“Fuck you.” He pushed me away before walking out of the ball.

I smiled. “Yes fuck me.” I mumbled, watching him walk away.

“Took the words right out my mouth.” Sofia said, wrapping her arms around me.

“I’m sorry.” I pushed Sofia off of me. “I have to go talk to him. Even if we leave together it’s strictly hanging out. I have no interest in have sex with you or any other intimate activities.” I walked away from her and out the door that Nyx went through. I walked up the stairs and opened several doors before finding Nyx in one.

“So…can I take you up on your offer?” I said once I saw him in the moonlit room.

Nyx glanced at me for a second. “Leave me the fuck alone.” He snapped.

I stepped closer to him. “It turns me on when you curse.”

“Sofia looked available.” Nyx shook his head while pushing his hair back, messing it up in the process. “You knew it would hurt me and you did it.”

“You ignored me for days. How do you think that made me feel?” I huffed. “I’ve been trying to get your attention all night and the only thing you said was ‘I’m busy’ you stuck to your mom like fucking glue so you wouldn’t have to talk to me. How do you think that made me feel?” I stepped back.

“I always fall for people I sleep with.” Nyx voiced out while wrapping his hand over his chest. “That’s what Mom said and she was right. I always catch feelings as soon as someone touches me…and I believe her because it is true. It happened with Lady Augustus then I moved on as soon as I touched you maybe this will disappear as soon as someone else touched me.”

I frowned. “So you decided to ghost me without an explanation?”

“I don’t know… I-I’m confused. She confuses me. She gets into my head, and she gets me scared. She makes me feel like if I choose something on my own it’s wrong and it starts to feel wrong.” Nyx cried as he turned away from me.

I wanted to touch him, to hold him in my arms and tell him that everything would be okay, but that’s just what I want. What does he want?

“What do you want? …without thinking about it being wrong or right, what is it that you want?” I asked, deciding not to touch him.

“You haven’t asked if I’m okay.” Nyx turned towards me. I frowned. “Maybe if you did I would have let all these thoughts go and went after what I wanted. But all night you haven’t felt like the person I like…all night I was waiting for you to come pull me away from her but all you did was-” Nyx sighed. “I don’t need you to hurt me every time I mess up. I’m not perfect, I have tried my all life. I’m not about to go through the same thing twice with you.” Nyx headed to the door.

I grabbed his hand before he could leave. “If you’d check your messages you’d see that I’ve done nothing but ask if you were okay. And why do I have to be the one to pull you away when every time I approached you, you basically tell me to fuck off. I did plan on leaving with Sofia but I didn’t plan on fucking her, not only because you’re the only person that turns me on, but also because although people throw themselves at me everyday, you’re the only person I want.”

“I’m sorry.” Nyx gently took my hand back. “I’m sorry for being confused, in sorry for not checking my phone to see how much you asked if I am okay. I’m sorry for ignoring you all night. I’m sorry for pushing you to Sofia…I’m sorry.” Nyx laughed through the tears glancing at the ceiling looking like he was to burst. “I’m sorry for not putting into consideration that I am the only one that turns you on…that I’m the only one you want…I am so sorry Liam. I’m at fault Liam I’m sorry…please-please forgive me.” Nyx finished with anger in his voice.

“I can apologize all you want, I can even kneel if that’s what you want because I am used to it. I am always at fault, I always do wrong and everyone forgets I ever did a right. I count my mistakes by hand but they have cost me.” Nyx continued. “And all those mistakes came from me not listening to her.”

“What is it that you want from me? She has you under her control and we both know it. I’ve been telling you since we met that you need to choose you. You’re miserable. You might not want to admit but every time you listen to her you become even more miserable. So maybe they weren’t mistakes, maybe they were just things that she didn’t want you to do. Because every single one of those ‘mistakes’ are things you wanted to do. Probably things you’ve enjoyed, but God forbid you be happy right? So choose, do you want to make mistakes like a normal fucking human and be happy, or be picture perfect on the outside but miserable as fuck?”

“You don’t understand, I can feel it when she gets inside my head. I can but I still can’t fight it because, at the end of the day, I want to make her happy. So no matter what I choose I will not be happy if she isn’t.”

I pulled him into a hug, finally touching him like I’ve been wanting to for days. “I’ll choose for you.” I kissed him on the cheek. “Choose your mom, because there’s no way you can make us both happy.” I pulled away. I know I shouldn’t have asked him to choose. As a people pleaser it’s damn near impossible. He has to grow and learn on his own. There’s nothing I can do now.

I left him in the room and went back to the ball. I put on a smile but I was hurting inside. I didn’t want to be here any more.

Dear diary,

It hurts, but it had to be done.

Chapter 32

Nyx’s pov:

I threw my phone into the wall in anger, I had screamed my lungs out all week. I have never been messed up like I am right now, it’s like I can’t function on my own without him in my life.

I feel so foreign already, ever since we parted I haven’t felt the same. It was like a switch in my brain that turned around and reminded me how much I do like him but it was too late. I had said too much and I had lost him, lost the one person that brought me life once again.

I curled up into a ball whimpering all my years over now. They have dried up now yet the pain hasn’t dulled up even a bit. Why am I like this? Every time I try to choose other people I end up neglecting myself in the worst way ever.

I can always take it, this time it feels more like I let myself down. I set myself on fire yet blow out others with everything in me.

I sat up when I got a glimpse of my clock, I had an appointment I knew I had to stop laying down in my self-pity and go out there and do my duties even if all that I needed was to stay inside and cry maybe I should stop making myself suffer.

The worst part is I know I am setting myself on fire but I don’t know how to burn it out so I let the flames scorch me slowly. The worst kind of death, every time I try to fight for myself I end up going back to where I was.

I walked into the bathroom wishing so much I could drink some alcohol and let loose but I knew I couldn’t. That will disappoint- ‘Just do it’ I tried to encourage myself but I knew I just couldn’t.

So I took a shower not caring about all of the conditioners, I was too exhausted to think of using everything or doing some skin care. I ended up fixing myself up as much as I could before getting out of the world and smiling.

Breakfast was as unpleasant as always before my schedule began. For an entire day, everyone gave genuine smiles and all I could do was smile falsely yet none of them noticed. Not even my own mom, she never once asked if I was fine or not.

“Hey.” A voice sounded from my side, Lady Augustus was smiling in her green flowery dress. “Your fake smile is no longer convincing, you look drained. Shouldn’t you rest?” When haven’t I been drained.

“I can handle it.” I try to fight off the heavy heart of not being convincing enough. Am I doing a terrible job right now? I sighed at myself for caring and feeling hurt about doing a bad job.

“I know something is wrong.” She waved at a girl at the center of the people before glancing back at me. “And I saw how worried you were when I talked to you. You were with Liam- did he threaten you?” I stopped in my tracks almost getting run over by the guards behind me. The slight commotion made all the attention come to me and I had to smile while waving to clear the air. “Did he?”

“He has never threatened me.” I defended.

“Then why were you acting like you were on a leash?” Because he doesn’t like it when I speak to you and I always want to put everyone’s interest above mine. “If he didn’t then I’m disappointed you would treat me like a stranger.” She turned back and passed through all the people that surrounded us before disappearing.

I played with my hands now unable to even fake a smile. I was breathing heavily and before I knew it the world turned black.

When I woke up I was at the hospital with my mom and Alex seated next to my hospital bed. I tried to sit up and that gained both of their attention they got closer. “Are you okay Prince Nyx?” Before I could reply Mom spoke.

“You fainted in front of everyone.” She snapped. “Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?”

“I didn’t think it was serious-” the door opened and in walked Liam. I felt my breath halt because I had missed Liam so much. I am sure I like him but still don’t think I can be able to please both of them and it kills me because I know and I don’t know how I can change that.

Liam completely ignored my mom and walked over to me. “How are you feeling?” He grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry it took so long to get here.”

“It’s completely fine.” I was surprised he even came. I grabbed his hands with both my hands, desperate to have him close but also afraid he would just leave me and I would be completely alone and miserable. “Can I get a minute with Prince Liam, please?”

Alex nodded and immediately walked out. Mom looked at me for the longest before also walking out leaving just the two of us.

“Nyx…it’s not fine. We’re in the hospital right now.” It wasn’t fine, I wanted him to be mine again. I am willing to give him everything he needs this time around, I can handle it all. Give him what he wants and give mom what she wants. She doesn’t need to know anything about this because she will make me feel bad about it and I don’t want to feel bad about liking the person I am about to marry in less than two months now.

“No.” I glanced at him. “I’m sorry for last time. I like you, I do.”

“It’s-” He sighed. “I know.” He rubbed my hand. “I know.”

“I will pick up your phone calls and answer your texts no matter what. I’ll try to ignore my mother…she doesn’t need to know what we do. I can give you my all Liam.”

“I came here to make sure you’re okay, let’s not talk about that now. Have you eaten today?”

“Liam.” He pulled his hand from mine. “If I wasn’t sick you wouldn’t have come to see me.”

Liam looked away, not being able to look at me. “No…. I wouldn’t.”

“You hate me because I can’t say no to my mother.”

“No….bab-” He sighed. “Nyx. I don’t hate you. I don’t think I have it in me to hate you. You’ve done nothing wrong. Your only crime is not choosing your happiness first. Your crime is being selfless.”

“I want to, I really do but I can’t do it alone. I need you, you were my strength.”

“And I want to continue being your strength. I want nothing more than to see you happy.”

I pulled him into a hug, I needed it more than anything. He has no idea how this week has been so tough on me that I could barely go on. It felt like a ton of bricks landed on my body and I could hardly get up. “I understand why you got angry when I ignored you for days. It’s painful and I am sorry. Let’s not do it again.”

“Nyx.” He sighed, I guess backing out from what he had to add. “It’s fine.”

“I missed you.” I sighed but then lifted my head to look into his green eyes. I pulled him down and attached our lips. God knows how much I missed them so freaking much, the taste hasn’t changed at all but it was somehow even better.

Liam hummed against my mouth, pulling me closer. The more he pulled me closer the harder I kissed him getting lost in the amazing kiss. I pulled away before it went too far. “Get in bed with me.” I shifted to the side while lifting the sheet to give him space.

Liam looked at the door. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I think he was wondering about my mom coming back in on us.

“We are not going to do anything, I just want to cuddle you.” I gave him a pleading look, hoping to soften his heart. Cuddling shouldn’t be wrong, it isn’t right? I just need to cuddle him even if it’s for only a few minutes.

“Fuck.” He muttered but got in bed anyway. He put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

I rested my head onto his shoulder, taking in his smell when I noticed the clear neck. “It disappeared.” I sounded disappointed because I was kind of disappointed. I never wanted it to disappear as selfish as that sounds. I want it to be known that he is mine. I don’t know why I was so possessive like that.

“Hickeys and bite marks disappear. Unless you want me to tattoo your name on me.” I laughed like it was the craziest suggestion ever because it was, why would he do that when we are going to get married plus tattoos aren’t my thing at all even if I like them on him.

“Let’s keep your skin for something else.” I leaned onto his chest and looked him in the eye. “I can recreate the hickey and I promise it will not be a bite like last time.” But why does he look so biteable, like sometimes I just want to bite him. Though I can’t confess that, I will sound like a weirdo.

“I promise I can handle biting. I’ve been through worse.”

“Through worse?” I scoffed rolling off of him “This is why I bite you, do you always gotta tell me your sex history.”

“Well of course, what better way to find out what I like?”

“But when I ask you always never tell me what you like.” Even if I hate hearing about his past hookups I really want to know what he is into.

“Because things I like, not everyone is comfortable doing.” He admitted.

It sounded like he was terrified of voicing out what he was into. Is this why he always never answers when I ask? “I know I will be comfortable with whatever or adapt to anything but if you’re not ready to share then it’s perfectly fine.”

“I like pain.”

“What?” I pushed myself to sit almost feeling dizzy instantly. I remembered that I was still sick but that didn’t matter right now. “I’m sorry I don’t understand…care to explain more?”

He laughed. “I’m not sure how to explain it more.” He paused. “During sex, I like feeling pain.”

“Like the pain, I felt when you…that kind of pain.” I couldn’t bring myself to say it but I knew he would understand.

He laughed again. “I’ve never experienced that kind of pain before. I like when you bite me, that kind of pain feels good. Choking feels good too. Hair pulling is always welcome, among other things.”

“So like… I feel so stupid.” I admitted. I always try to educate myself but look where I am. Talking of a topic I should know the most…actually, the most important one and I have zero clue about it. “I have like so many questions and I don’t know if you’re okay with them. I am just curious and just want to learn more about it because I want to learn about your body.”

“Are you a visual learner?” He asked, teasing. “You can ask questions I don’t mind.”

“Specific things you’re into.” I don’t want to assume anything since it all sounded like something to be so careful with. A wrong move can lead to death…choking.

“I’ve already named the ones I’ve tried. Others I haven’t tried because I wasn’t comfortable enough with the person that I would be trying it with. Which sounds crazy because I just mentioned choking, but I tried that with princess- a friend of mine.”

I smiled. “With Princess Sofia?” I finished for him but didn’t want to get distracted. “We have done things and they involved almost zero pain for you, was it real?”

“Yes. It’s not like I can cum on command or something. It was all real, because it was with you.”

I smiled pecking his lips. “So can I bite you right now?” I teased, not actually going to do it but if he says yes then I will. I know I had so many questions to ask him and I will with time, I will get to know each thing so I will let him rest for now and we will talk about it some other time.

Dear Diary

Liam likes pain but that is not what is most important. WE ARE BACK TOGETHER, I feel like a feather. I’m so happy.

Chapter 33

Liam pov:

It’s been two weeks since I last saw Nyx. Two weeks since we got back together. And two weeks since the hospital.

Granted I didn’t expect the hospital to go like it did. I ran out of a meeting to be by his side. Just because I’d ended things doesn’t mean I lost feelings for him. I did what I felt was best at the time even though it hurt me to the core to do it.

Things are going well now. We’ve been talking on the phone daily. We text as well, and we’ve even sexted once. It’s not enough. I miss holding him, kissing him, and being in his presence in general.

I was walking out of a meeting when my phone rang. I seem to have a lot of meetings now that the wedding is getting closer. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and it was a face time call from Nyx.

I answered it. “Hi baby.” I said, watching as he left the balcony to go into his room. While he walked, I let my eyes trail to his half buttoned white shirt. His suit jacket and tie were no where to be found so he likely just got out of a meeting mere minutes ago.

“Are you off?” Nyx smiled.

“Yes I’m done for the day.” I said, walking upstairs to my room. “How was your day?”

“Not exciting.” He sighed with a smile as he took in my face “You’re really handsome my prince.”

I looked around to make sure no one was in sight before responding. “You know it really turns me on when you call me that.”

“Is it the pet name or are you just horny?”

I shrugged as I entered my room. “Both?” I propped my phone up against a half empty water bottle. “It also turns me on when you curse, but you already know that.” I said, taking off my jacket.

“It’s been long since I have had you in my arms. Why should we be so busy? All I want is to see you and kiss the horniness out of you.”

I laughed, unbuttoning my shirt. “If you think you can kiss the horniness away, be my guest. Speaking of, we have to watch a Disney movie together. Earlier you mentioned how you’ve never seen one.”

“Never really got into movies. I fall asleep in the first five minutes.” Nyx laid down. “And I bet we won’t be doing any of the watching but more of the touching. That sounds bad.” He grimaced.

“God I wish I could kiss you right now.” I kicked my shoes off and grabbed my phone before falling on the bed.

“Kiss Me through the phone…kiss me through the phone see you when I get home” Nyx sang with a teasing smile.

I laughed. “As soon as I find out how to do that, I will.” The artist didn’t really disclose how you’re supposed to kiss through the phone.

“No magic powers I’m kind of disappointed in you”

“None. Just an ordinary prince.” I sighed dramatically.

“Ordinary?” Nyx changed positions, lying on his stomach. “You’re not ordinary to me, you’re extraordinary.”

“Even without magical powers?” I teased.

“Well I guess I can live without that.” Nyx feigned sadness.

“I’ll go off on some great adventure and come back with magical powers I promise.” I did a fake salute.

“You should keep that promise, I tend to cry when promises aren’t kept.” He presented to be wiping away a fake tear.

“We wouldn’t want you to cry.”

“Yeah.” He stopped, looking at me for about three seconds. “I really miss you.” Before I could respond he continued. “And I was thinking we should go on a date, an official date as boyfriend. That is if you want to be my boyfriend.” Nyx added glancing to the side.

“Oh.” I didn’t know what to say. We haven’t talked about where we stand. “Um…” of course I want to be his boyfriend, but what about his mom? She doesn’t like me and that’s clear as fucking day. He already said he wouldn’t be happy unless his mom was happy and she wouldn’t be happy if we were an actual couple and not just married for our kingdoms. “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

“Yes.” He glanced back at me. “Don’t you want to be my boyfriend?”

“I do….” I sighed pushing my hair out of my face. “What about your mom?”

“She doesn’t need to know, if she doesn’t she won’t interfere with anything.” Nyx held a hand over his forehead. “I’m trying but it isn’t a competition between you two. Please don’t put me in this situation again, I don’t want to lose you over something I am trying my best to fight. I’m not there yet but I will.”

I sighed. I don’t want to have this fight again either, seeing how it ended last time, but this is something I want to talk about. “Okay…” I believe him. “Promise me we won’t hide forever.” I said, looking for some sense of hope. I couldn’t be in a relationship where I have to sneak around with the one I lo- like.

“Thank you.” Nyx smiled visibly relaxing his tense shoulders. “We are not hiding, I am just escaping what she will say.” He rolled around on bed. “When should we set our date… I was thinking a star theater. Would you like that?”

I looked at him confused. “What’s that?”

“It might probably bore you, you can choose.”

I frowned. “Absolutely not.” If he suggested it, it’s something that he wants to do. “I’m excited. I’ve never been on a date before.”

“Well it’s…like a theater but you lie down and gaze at the moving stars. Like a fake planet with the moon. You can set whatever setting you like..” Nyx cut himself off, getting a little excited. “I saw it at on a commercial and I have always wanted to visit it with a special someone.”

“When are you free?” I asked, even more excited now.

“Next week, I know it’s far but I am fixed this week.” He said with an exhausted sigh.

“Fuck. Which day next week?” I asked.

“Between Saturday or Sunday. I’m not so sure but we will have to leave in the evening since it’s in Rosefall Kingdom and might take some time to get there.”

“I’m free Saturday afternoon but not Saturday morning. Mother wants me to do a photo shoot.” I sighed.

“I still need to check my schedule on Saturday. It keeps on getting altered so I am not entirely sure. I will confirm on Friday.”

“How much longer do we have to schedule meeting up?” Our schedules have been so hectic we’ve had to schedule fucking face time calls.

“We need to get tuxedos, three weeks from now, the closer the wedding the better my schedule clears.”

“I can check my schedule. I’m sure if she knows it’s for the wedding we can work some shit out.” I paused, looking at him for a few seconds. “Our palace is supposed to be ready after our coronation. Maybe we can go furniture shopping?” It’s something I’ve seen people do and it looks like fun.

“Mom and the council are already doing that. I heard we are not allowed to decorate anything, that is how it’s been done for a long time.”

I frowned. “Really? They’re going to make everything bright and ugly.”

“Yes, most of them are ancient pieces.”

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

“But how will they not know? They will be cleaning and checking them every single day.” Nyx shrugged. “Unless we change our bedroom maybe they won’t but I also doubt they won’t cause they will.”

“I’ve never been one to follow orders, I’ll find a way.”

“Suit yourself.” Nyx laughed.

“I can’t wait to see you.” I admitted.

“Me either and I am so sad that I have to say goodbye now.”

I sighed. “Okay…I love yo..gurt….good night.” I said before hanging up. I dropped the phone on the bed next to me. My heart was pounding so hard I felt it would burst out of my chest. I…love him?

Dear diary,

What did I just do?

Chapter 34

Nyx’s pov:

I packed a few of the items I would need, took them into the car, and let the driver take me away from the palace. I had managed to get a free Saturday evening plus a free Sunday.

I wasn’t planning on coming back today, I plan on spending my weekend with my boyfriend slash fiance. It really didn’t matter, all I knew was that I liked him enough for both ideas to seem great to me.

I glanced at the seat next to me where a basket of my surprise sat. I was kind of nervous about the surprise I prepared. Will he like it? I might have enjoyed his way of life but at the end of the day resting back and relaxing in a quiet place is my thing. I love relaxing and with someone I feel comfortable with even better.

I bought yogurt, I didn’t know why he had abruptly brought that up at our last FaceTime call but I listened and brought him some. I got strawberry and some vanilla flavors, hope he likes them.

We passed through the last checkpoint and as soon as we were let through I saw Liam’s car not far away. “Park there.” I ordered, unable to contain my excitement. He got out of his car with a smile even though he couldn’t see me through the blacked-out windows.

As soon as the car was parked I didn’t wait for the driver to open for me. I picked up my bag and basket before speed-walking toward Liam. Once I got into arms reach with him I tried pulling him into a hug but he was already pulling me into one.

I laughed hugging him harder after resting the basket on the hood of his car. “I missed you.” I whispered into his neck.

“I missed you too baby.” He said, pulling me closer.

I pulled back so excited to get going. “I got us a private room. It’s gonna be fun can’t wait to show you.” I picked up the basket and bag and planned on entering the car so we could head to Rosefall for our date when Liam stopped me.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” He said, licking his lips. I watched the action and I almost bit my lips but kept it in.

I glanced at both my bag and basket. “I don’t think so.” I put both into the back seat. “Come on let’s go!” I was beyond excited and I couldn’t wait to get Rosefall.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer so we were chest to chest. “Are you sure?”

“Liam, anyone can take a picture of us here.” It’s not something I would want to be flowing on the internet. “I want to kiss you so bad.” We both know those get heated real quick and I was barely holding on. “Get in the car.”

He looked around. There were a few people but no one that looked like paparazzi. He sighed and let go of my hand. He walked over to the driver’s side and got in. As soon as I closed the passenger door Liam had already pulled me in and attached our lips.

I leaned in with my hand on his chest kissing him back as hard as I wanted to do earlier. The taste of his lips after three weeks felt like heaven right now but I had to pull back when I felt my dick steer awake. I have been so horny, I can’t even explain how badly I need relief but not in the car. That is why I got a private room, there’s no way I am not getting laid this weekend. “I think we should go.” I breathed hard.

Liam pulled me closer. “Just a few minutes.” He said, kissing my neck.

I let him kiss my neck making the stimulation much worse. I tend to not think when I get so horny, I held him by the neck and roughly pushed him back. I thought I was gonna stop but him moaning was not part of the plan. It all made sense when I remembered that he is into choking even if I wasn’t doing that however my hand was on his neck.

Now I was horny enough to erase all rational thoughts from my head. I pulled him back for another kiss this time not worried about stopping but rather fighting to calm my arousal.

I grabbed his hand leading it to my dick while I started massaging his. He pulled away from the kiss, kissing my neck again. “What happened to stop?” He asked, sucking on a sensitive spot on my neck.

I was not getting enough from this. “How can I get you closer?” I asked, desperately. I needed him on my lap but I didn’t know if we can fit. “How do I push this seat back a bit?” It was also pissing me off limiting my space.

Liam laughed, pushing me back. He reached over and grabbed a handle that was next to me, which made my seat slide back. He pressed another button that reclined my seat. There, he climbed in the passenger seat, sitting on my lap before attaching our lips again. His lower half started grinding against mine as he grabbed my hands, placing them on his ass.

I loosened his pants before pushing my hand through touching his ass and guiding him to my dick. The friction made me shiver moaning into his mouth. I kept on guiding his hips increasing my pace with each friction. “I want you to do something for me.” I grabbed his fingers directing them into my mouth and sucking onto them.

After wetting them I directed them down after unbuttoning my trousers. I led them to my hole as I took hold of his dick. “Make me cum.”

“Fuck….now?” He asked breathlessly.

“Just do it god damnit!” I snapped but then remembered what I just said. “Fuck.” I pulled his hands out of my pants while slightly pushing him back. “I’m so fucking horny and I get angry when I am horny. I just need a release.” I sighed trying to calm my brain but I couldn’t because I was still so horny. “I hate questions when the instructions were so clear. So are you gonna do it or should I just fuck you so I can get off right fucking now? If you don’t mind right fuckin now Liam!”

He stuck his fingers back in my mouth. “If fucking me is something you want to do, then go ahead. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were asking for, seeing as you just said you didn’t want to kiss me in a nearly empty parking lot because you didn’t want anyone to see.” He took his fingers out of my mouth and stuck them back in my pants. “I think fucking in a car is an even bigger scandal, don’t you?” He asked, lining his finger up with my hole. “And stop cursing so much before I cum in my pants.” He said, pushing his finger inside me.

I smiled pulling him down and kissing him again as he pushed his fingers into me. I gasped the feeling still foreign but the pleasure I knew I was gonna receive kept me on my tip toes. “I fear not releasing more than any scandal.” I replied back.

When I’m horny I’m horny and when I am with someone I am comfortable with then fuck the world. I have waited long enough it’s my time to be selfish. He hit my spot almost immediately and I leaned back with a pleasured sigh. There we go. I pulled him closer to me, kissing his neck while taking hold of his dick stroking it and matching his moves.

“If I stopped right now, how would you feel?” He asked, fingers hitting his spot dead on, hard just how he liked it.

I looked him into his green eyes. “Don’t try it.” I warned seriously, that is not something I would like him to mess with. I pushed his shirt to the side before sinking my teeth into his shoulder. They didn’t dig in but it was enough to sting.

He hummed. “Bite.”

I moved closer to his neck sucking on it, making the area sensitive before biting down this time harder than before, he trembled and I felt his dick swell in between my fingers. I quickened my strokes while biting into the same wound. I guess the pain was stronger this time because he screamed while shooting right onto my shirt. The sight made me ejaculate almost immediately while Liam held onto me to stabilize himself. We were both panting yet Liam’s eyes looked delirious as if still coming back from his high. I held his cheeks making him focus on me. If causing him pain made him like this I swear I can’t wait to harm his body more and explore.

I’m so ready for this weekend.

Dear Diary,

What is it called when you like someone more??

What is it called when you can’t wait to see how they react to pain?

Chapter 35

Liam pov:

I have come to realize I have the best orgasms with Nyx. Somehow he does everything perfectly and…fuck I can’t even explain it. I love it.

I grabbed Nyx’s hand as I drove to the theater we were about halfway there when I glanced at him. He was wearing my clothes since he packed only enough outfits for the trip while I over packed.

“Are you calm now that you’ve had your release?” I teased.

“So calm.” Nyx laughed, missing the teasing tone. “I’m sorry I yelled at you but you understand right??”

“Understand that you’re batshit when you’re horny? Yeah baby, understood.” I laughed.

“I warned you not to turn me on.” He shrugged.

“Baby you raising your voice is not going to stop me from turning you on.” I rubbed his hand. “I like when you’re aggressive.”

“I should add that to the list.” He turned to me. I could only see him out the corner of my eye since my eyes were on the road. “I have a surprise, I have been preparing it for all these weeks.”

“A surprise?” I glanced at him. “What surprise?”

“It’s a surprise, who reveals a surprise?” Nyx rolled his eyes. “After what I witnessed earlier I know you’re gonna like it.”

I racked my brain trying to remember what he witnessed earlier. I glanced at him. “Can I get a clue?”

“Let the curiosity build up to the moment, that is a good start.” He proudly boosted.

I glared at him for a second before looking back at the road. I huffed. “Fine.” I glanced at him. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” The rest of the way was silent until we reached the theater. I was mostly thinking about what he could’ve witnessed in the short time we’ve been together.

I took my seatbelt off and pulled him in for a kiss. I missed touching him more than I’ve ever missed anything. Kissing him brought calmness and made my heart race at the same time. I slipped my tongue in his mouth, practically climbing in the passenger seat again.

“Liam…Liam…” He moaned trying to push me away. “Not again…”

“Fuck sorry.” I forced myself to pull back. I sat in the drivers seat and looked at the tent in my pants. I looked over at Nyx and felt relieved that he had a matching one. “Um..” I swallowed. “We can’t go in like this.” I felt my face heat up.

“This is all your fault.” He sighed angrily. “I booked us a private room for this but look where we are getting horny.”

“But I want you now.” Although we just did it less than fifteen minutes ago, I felt as if I could devour him right now. I wanted to. I wanted to fuck him, suck him, touch him, anything he would let me do. I wanted it all and I wanted it now.

“Should we skip the stars?” Nyx suggested. “We can book the theater again tomorrow after being satisfied. It’s not like they can say no.”

I bit my bottom lip. Fuck was it tempting. Nyx was really excited to come here and I don’t want to have to reschedule because my dick won’t cooperate. I sighed. “No, we’re already here.” I looked down at my dick. “We just need a few minutes before going in.”

“I need some cool air.” Nyx pushed the door getting out and before he could rest or say a thing the staff members were all running towards him.  “People can’t follow simple rules. I said I needed only one person was that too hard to understand.” He argued, yet when they got close he smiled and greeted them with a cheery attitude.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen” He held his hand out and the manager took it, he held it down for all of them until they were over. “I am so honored you scheduled me into your night. Thank you so much, I know I will remember this experience.”

“It’s nothing Your Royal Highness.” The manager smiled while holding his hands nervously. I stepped out of the car and walked over to them. “I remember you said you needed just one staff member but I thought you would need more help and we wanted to be agile and quick to your service as you enjoy your time with us.” Nyx smiled while glancing at me, silently asking for help.

“I think he was clear when saying we need one staff member.” I looked at the medium built worker that stood in the back. “He can be the one staff member, the rest of you can go home.”

“I’m so sorry for wasting all your time. Prince Liam does need his privacy.” he said, throwing me completely under the bus. He  pulled out his wallet giving each one of them a tip to make up for their wasted time.

“It’s not wasting their time if the orders were clear.” I mumbled. “Do I need to get any bags out of the car?” I asked Nyx.

“Sorry.” Nyx whispered as he watched them walk away. “The basket, the bag should stay there. I think I don’t need it now.”

I grabbed Nyx’s hand and squeezed lightly. “I’ll be back.”

Nyx looked confused. “Where are you going?”

“The basket? Unless you wanted that guy to get it.” I motioned to the brown haired worker.

“Oh yeah.” He nodded and watched me leave.

I walked to the car and grabbed the basket and was back by Nyx’s side in two minutes. “What the hell do you have in here? Your life?” I asked adjusting the basket.

“Your yogurt.” Nyx shrugged while we started heading to the theater. “The last time we video-called you ended with ‘I love yogurt’ so I bought big packs.”

“My what? You what?” I felt my face heat up in embarrassment when I realized what he was talking about. Fucking yogurt.

“Your yogurt… I thought you were informing me of your love for yogurt. so I did the courtesy of getting you some.”

“I- thank you.” I felt as if I would die of embarrassment.

“It’s always my pleasure.” Nyx took my hand. “So what else are you in love with besides yogurt.”

“Um…chocolate.” I swallowed, looking at our intertwined hands. “Yo….gurt…..again.”

“I didn’t get chocolate yogurt, I got strawberry and vanilla. I saw a post and you had strawberry so I thought you like strawberry yogurt.”

“Yeah….strawberry yogurt is my favorite.” I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

“Then great.” We continued inside the theater.

The one assistant opened the door for us then started showing us how to enjoy the best of the stars. After a few minutes, he was out of site. I put the basket down my eyes up at the stars, they were mesmerizing.

Nyx held me. “It’s already peaceful.”

I sighed, looking at the stars. “Yeah…it is.”

Nyx walked over to the machine and selected a playlist then picked up the remote before pulling me onto the blanket that was neatly laid down. He switched the stars going for a brighter scene with an orange moon with a reflection of a rainbow and shooting stars.

He sat back down and it’s almost like he forgot that he even had company. His eyes focused on the stars above. He sighed in contentment, his hands resting behind his head as he lay all the way down.

I watched the stars above us. “I never knew this place existed. It’s beautiful.” I said, admiring the scene above.

Nyx pulled out the basket getting out every snack and fruit he had packed and laying them down. He picked the strawberry yogurt threw in some fruits then added two spoons. He moved closer to me and held the yogurt between us. “Hmm.” He hummed while taking the first spoonful, his eyes back to the stars. “Doesn’t it give you the illusion of entrapment or am I overthinking it?”

I looked at the stars, eating the yogurt. “Somewhat. Their purpose is to burn bright, lighting up the night along with the moon. I don’t know a lot about stars but the endless cycle does seem like entrapment in a way.” I turned to him. “Do you relate to a star?”

“I don’t relate to them but I feel like they are there to look pretty.” He glanced at me. “Like that is their only purpose and people look up to them because they are pretty.”

I set my yogurt down. “Well you can’t deny your beauty- I mean their beauty. I’ve never really thought about it like that before.”

Nyx smiled while shaking his head. “Get this, no one gets attracted to ugly things. You have to know that thing before you’re like I want it. With stars it’s love at first sight, you look up, and boom you’re in love. You don’t need to know them just stare at them and you will never be bored but then you forget their feelings or what they stand for because it either doesn’t matter or it’s crushed under the fact that they are pretty.” he glanced at Liam again “Was it my ‘beauty’ that captivated you?” He air quoted the word beauty.

I stared at him for a second. “You’re beautiful, but in all honesty, I did not like you at first. My first impression of you wasn’t a good one, and I’m sure the same could be said about me. What captivated me was your ability to care for others, although you didn’t have to.” I licked my lips. “That night I got drunk, I pissed you off that day and got you in deep shit, even made you cry, yet you came back and took care of me the whole night. Your beauty wasn’t the thing I noticed first, it was your compassion….I’ve never felt anything like it.”

“Has no one ever cared like that?”

“No….never.”

“Really? Never.” Nyx turned his entire body, his knees to his chest. “Tell me about your childhood.” The question was so forward he thought twice. “If you don’t mind.”

I shrugged, picking my yogurt up and stirring it around. “After eight years old, I’ve never really had much of a childhood.”

“What do you mean you stopped?”

I sighed. “I started my prince training at eight.” I looks at him. “Tell me about your childhood.”

“I have always been watched….you know what let’s not dive into all that.” Nyx picked up some juice. “What do you want to eat? Only healthy food. That is all we had.”

“You.” It slipped out before I could even think about it.

“It’s not my fault this is all we had, but it tastes good. Our chefs are nice.” The food consisted of nice looking salads, carrot cupcakes and brownies. Chicken with mashed potatoes among other things.

He didn’t understand my comment so I decided not to say anything. “I’ll take the only unhealthy option.” I said, grabbing a brownie. “Thank you.”

Nyx laughed. “They are healthy but try them, you will not know.”

I took a bite and hummed. “It’s not horrible.” I probably wouldn’t have guessed it was healthy. “Do you eat this everyday?” I asked, motioning to the food.

“Every single day, I didn’t know what I was missing until I tasted pizza and Chinese.” He shrugged. “In all honesty I can have this for the rest of my life, I am used to it.”

Time passed as we laughed and talked about everything and nothing at the same time. The enjoyment of each other’s company was calming and everything I have missed in weeks. It took hours of this before we decided to pack up and leave. I didn’t want to but it was starting to get late.

I grabbed his hand while we were walking back to my car. “So when do I get this surprise?”

Dear diary,

My first ever date was a success. I’m glad it’s with someone like Nyx. Fuck that. I’m glad it’s with Nyx. He’s the only person I want to go on a date with.

I’m curious to see what this surprise is.

Chapter 36

Nyx’s pov:

We reached our private room, the secluded ones with much more privacy than their normal rooms. I chose this because of my plans for the night and I hope they come out as planned.

I was nervous but after that car session, I was sure I could do it. I led Liam inside, I took the basket from him and took it into the kitchen as I spoke too loud to him. “Do you wanna take a shower first?” I walked back to him, he was taking in the room. It was exquisite with a homey feeling to it, the air was fresh and everything looked squeaky clean.

I leaned next to the door frame waiting for his answer. “Uh…sure? Are you taking one with me?”

“Let’s go take a shower.” I held out my hand for Liam. After getting closer, I helped up his shirt and then started with the jeans unbuttoning them slowly while keeping eye contact with him.

I pushed them to his ankles and then held his underwear with my index finger. I pushed it in and it massaged Liam’s tattoo. “Vision or no vision?” He did a ‘huh’ as if not paying attention. I laughed while pulling him closer by his underwear’s waistband. “I need your ears to listen to every word I say.” I held his chin. “Are you listening?”

Liam nodded, eyes on my lips. “Let’s go and shower.” I pulled his underwear off. I stripped myself before leading him into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and it was hot damn near instantly. It was a little too hot so I turned it down then soaked us both. I took hold of the soap and started massaging his shoulders. “Today is about you, so relax.”

I massaged his entire body, from the hair to his ears to his neck. Down up to the soles of his feet, I touched everything except for his dick which was hard but I wasn’t gonna touch it.

“Well, you’re touching everything else.” Liam motioned to his dick with a smile.

“Relax and I will.” I rested his leg on my thigh and continued massaging it for a few minutes. My hand moved up to his inner thigh to be specific, I massaged and groped it it. My hand was close to his dick but I did nothing to touch it at all.

“Okay.” He let out a shaky sigh. “Now you’re just teasing me.”

I stood up and picked up the shower head before pouring water onto his body, washing the soap off. I dried his body then I took his hand and took him back into our room. “The more you talk the more I look forward to this.” I took out my underwear and pulled it on. I walked over to my bag and threw the contents inside down. I picked up the rope and walked over to him. “You…are going to go by my rules tonight.” I tied the rope around his wrists. “Safe word?”

“Um…fuck.” He moaned, watching my every move. “Yogurt?”

I laughed. “You do love yogurt.” I tied the rope before wrapping it around his arms to his body. I knotted it well before hugging him from behind I pecked his temple before my hands started roaming his entire chest. My fingers roamed to his nipples massaging gently before I scratched my nail down his chest.

“Mmm.” He moaned. “I didn’t think you were into bondage.”

I scrapped all my four nails into his chest over and over. I bit his chest. He trembled in both pain and pleasure. He was shaking in my arms and I bet it stung, the more he reacted to it the more I was encouraged to cause more. My fingers moved to his thigh and I scratched from down close to his dick.

His legs got so weak that he was leaning his entire body into me. He was leaking all over the floor, breathing heavily. I pushed him into the bed, turning him to face me.

I climbed on top and then started kissing his neck going down to his chest. I had to admit having his arms out of the way was a plus. I got to do whatever I wanted at the pace I wanted to. I didn’t think this kind of power would feel so great.

I kissed my way down to his nipples before sinking my teeth into them. He groaned making me stop. “Too far?” Did I get caught up?

He shook his head. “Keep going baby….fuck.” He moaned, throwing his head back.

“Good.” I smiled before digging my teeth into his other nipple. He groaned but pushed his lower half into me as if needy for some release. I laughed while holding his hips down. “I love how helpless you are.” I wrapped my hand around his neck but didn’t do anything when I saw how eager he was waiting for it. I laughed even harder. “This is for you but I am enjoying it better.”

“Fuck.” He tried breaking free of the restraints. “Baby….I want to touch you.”

“No.” I spoke while shaking my head. “This is when I do what I want. It’s like finally having what’s mine in my arms.” I moved my fingers down to his thigh and scratched. He grunted but lifted his hips up again. “Keep them down.” I ordered.

He did as instructed, keeping his eyes on me the entire time. The way he listened gave made me feel even better, my dick throbbing needing release. At first, I thought of turning him around and finishing this but I still needed a little more torment.

I slid off his body before pulling his thigh up. With my eyes on him, I started licking his inner thigh before sinking my teeth in. He cursed while hitting his head on the pillow roughly. I bit him again while flicking the space next to his dick. He growled while shaking, his eyes diluted the same way they did inside the car which meant I was reaching a spot.

I took a hold of his dick and started stroking him while still biting down into his skin.“Fuck baby if you keep-” he moaned, not being able to finish his words. He whimpered with pleasure and bliss as he finally spilled his cum right onto my fingers. I smiled while squeezing his dick, trying to drive his orgasm all the way out.

I leaned down and attached our lips into a deep kiss. I fought everything in me not to bite his lip. “How was your surprise, my prince?”

“Fucking amazing.” He shivered. “Can I touch you?” He tried breaking free of the restraints again. “Please.” He leaned forward, kissing my neck. “Please, baby.”

“I don’t think so.” I licked his cheek. “I want you to want me but can’t have me.” I leaned into my elbow with my leg over his body. “I had fun, at first I was worried that it would not be fun for me. I was thinking ‘I just have to do this, do something good for him’ but when I started I enjoyed it. I guess trying something new is never a bad thing. And I am glad I did a good job.”

“You did so good baby.” He struggled against the restraints. “Why am I still tied up? I want to fuck you.”

I slapped his abs lightly while standing up. “Let’s eat something.” I walked over to the fridge which had various meals. I picked up some grapes craving some sugar and oranges. I picked up underwear on the way back then threw a sheet over his lower body before getting back in bed. I picked up the grape directing it onto his lips. “So I was thinking, what if after our wedding on our honeymoon, we go to an island for some relaxation before we start all the crown duties.”

Liam took the grape in his mouth, licking my finger in the process. “Okay. Which island?” He asked, confused as to why I was basically ignoring all of his questions.

“Any, I don’t care. I just want to try something new and stop being scared.” I put an orange into his mouth again when I remembered that he was still tied up. “Oh fuck.” I pushed him to the side and tried to undo the knots. “Fuck, I didn’t learn how to undo these.”

“Fuck me. Scissors?” He tried wiggling out of the ropes.

I laughed while undoing it. “As much as I would like to see you panic more I can’t keep you in these any longer.” I undid them and took his wrists. I massaged them for a bit. “Okay I bought some lotion for the aftercare.”

As soon as he was free from the ropes he pinned me to the bed. “Why…are you ignoring me?” He asked, kissing my neck. He lightly grazed his teeth across a spot on my neck before sucking on it.

“You always mess with my plans. This is why I had to keep you tied up.” I laughed as he continued to suck my neck. I pulled him away and glanced into his eyes. “We need to take of your skin.” I was told it was a must. A strain on the body needs relaxing.

“Later. What did you plan? Because right now…” he kissed my neck. “I’m either going to fuck you or you’re going to fuck me.” He ran his hand down my body, cupping my balls before gripping my dick. “What’s it going to be baby?”

I held onto the sheets with a moan, he was always like someone who didn’t go by the rules. “I don’t care.” I licked my lips, I didn’t care what he did. Whatever happens, I am completely fine with it

Dear Diary,

Every day I learn new experiences and all from

One man and one Prince, Liam De Conto.

Chapter 37

Liam’s pov:

I wanted him and I wanted him now I didn’t care if I was topping or bottoming, I just wanted him. I looked down at him and decided then and there that I would bottom.

Fuck I’ve never done this before but I’m craving him, and I want to feel him. I want to know how it feels when he’s deep inside me. I’m throbbing just thinking about it.

“Baby…did you bring lube?” I asked.

“In the things I threw down there.”

I got up and grabbed a few condoms along with the lube. I went back to Nyx and sat back in my position on his thighs. “Okay.” I said, ripping the condom open with my teeth. “Here’s what’s going to happen.” I said, putting the condom on his dick.

I stroked it a few times before putting lube on my fingers. “You’re going to fuck me.” I said, leaning forward and pressing a lubed finger on my hole.

“I’ve never done this before so be gentle.” I joked as I pushed a finger inside. I moaned at the pain. “Fuck.” I said breathlessly before adding another one. I pushed it in and out a few times before separating them inside me.

I tried finding my prostate with no luck. I pushed my fingers deeper inside me when my finger brushed against it I trembled. “Nyx.” I moaned breathlessly.

“Liam aren’t you rushing this?” He held my hand. “Liam it hurts.” He said with a worried look in his eyes.

“No it’s fine. It feels good.” It wasn’t completely a lie, I liked some of the pain but fuck. I want to get this over with as fast as possible so he can fuck me. I looked down at Nyx who was watching me intensely. Maybe I should slow down a little. I slowed the pace of my thrusts.

“I don’t know but my heart is really pounding.” Nyx’s dick was pulsing, already ready to get some kind of release. He looked at me like I was the best thing he’s ever seen, it made me want this even more. “I can’t wait for you to sit on me…you’re really hot like that.”

“Patience.” I licked my lips. “You’re the one who told me to slow down.” I said, inserting a third finger.

“Actually you know what, move faster.” I pulled him by the neck kissing him deeply. “You should be done in the next two seconds, do a good job and fast.” Nyx stroked his dick already in need of more

I did a few more thrusts before taking my fingers out. I grabbed the lube and put some on his dick. “Ready?” I said leaning forward to line the tip with my hole.

I sat down on his dick, feeling the tip enter me, stretching me out even more. I inhaled before taking an inch. I took in another inch before pausing. Fuck I could feel him stretching me out the deeper he went.

“Fuck baby.” I moaned, taking him in another inch. The deeper he went the more oxygen I felt like I was losing.

I sank down, taking two more inches of him that I wasn’t ready for. I was breathless, but I needed this to be over so he could fuck me.

Nyx gripped the sheets visibly stopping himself from thrusting up. “Ugh.” He pulled at his hair already pissed, even if he wasn’t pissed at me but for his lack of patience. “Fuckin fuck.”

“Fuck….wait.” I huffed out. “I’m almost there.” I felt sweat dripping down my forehead as I went deeper. I pulled him into a kiss to distract us both from how long this was taking.

Nyx gripped my thighs hard with his hips trembling wanting to move. I knew it was complete torture. I’ve been there before. “Listen, we don’t need to finish all the way. Here is enough.” Nyx’s eyes were begging for me to say yes. He was willing to work with anything and it was obvious.

I wanted to laugh at his desperation but I was just as desperate. “Fuck it.” I pushed through and fucking finally he was in, all of him. I’m not so sure that was a good idea though. It hurt more that way. I took a deep breath. Nyx was inside me and I couldn’t be happier.

I leaned back and grabbed his hand. “Look…” I put his hand on my stomach. He touched the visible bulge. “You’re in.” I said breathlessly. “Holy fuck.”

Nyx held my lower back with his other hand on my upper back before flipping us around and getting between my legs. We both moaned due to the friction that was caused duringthe rotation and the fact that Nyx’s dick rubbed into my prostate.

Nyx leaned into my neck as he slowly pulled out then pushed back in. “Please tell me you’re ready. He kept his pace slow but the way his hips trembled when he thrusted let me know he was dying to speed up, to fuck me.

“Fuck me Nyx.” I moaned, pressing into him.

“The words I have been waiting for.” He pecked me before leaning back and started pushing in. All his restraint that he had been holding onto very poorly let loose and he plunged into me without missing a single bit. Each push deeper than the previous one. I gripped his waist, pulling him closer.

The sound of his balls hitting my ass consumed the room, along with the moans of pleasure coming from me. His dick swelled even harder inside me and I gasped. He started moving faster while slightly lifting my hips up to get a better position to plunge directly into my ass deep.

All his focus was on my hole and the amount of pleasure it was bringing in. He didn’t take his eyes off of his dick going in and out of me. He held my leg, resting it onto his shoulder and as he did his tongue moved out and started licking and nibbling onto my leg.

“Fuck! Harder baby.” I wanted him to fuck me so hard I’d have to crawl out of this room tomorrow.

The more I encouraged the faster Nyx’s hips moved. He put my leg down and leaned down, licking my abs while moving up to my nipples sucking on them. His hips stopped moving yet sucked while biting down on my nipples, his other hand pumping my dick. I was losing all of my senses.

Almost all pleasure spots were given attention. I haven’t felt this good since…ever and I’ve been in plenty of threesomes. This was just one man. He was making me feel better than three girls at once have.

Nyx pulled out. “On your fours.” He gave me one lick before leaning back, waiting for me to get in position.

I did as he asked, getting on all fours. My body was already trembling and if he kept fucking me like he was, I don’t think I’d be able to hold the position.

He held my hips before positioning himself. He pushed in slowly and groaned, throwing his head back as he started plunging in faster. His grip was hard and for some reason, he felt compelled to give it a slap. I groaned and moaned at the same time, my hands already getting weaker.

With each move Nyx made sure our hips met in the middle, owning me like never before.

His grunts became coherent, his jaw tightening as I arched my back. He moved his hand holding onto the bulge print on my stomach. I shook with intense pleasure, falling onto my head as my hands gave out.

“Come here.” I moaned as he pulled me by the hair making sure I arched my back before massaging the place once again. He stopped moving and could see the imprint clearly. I trembled beneath him while wheezing and gasping.

“I wish I could see your face at this moment.” He mumbled in my ear, nipping at the lobe. His constant massages got me to spill my load. I moaned, trembling as cum leaked from my dick and onto the bed.

Nyx gasped in shock. “Guess I was being too harsh.” He pulled me by the hair, all the way to my knees so that my back was leaning into his chest. I moaned at how fast he was moving and how rough he was being. “I’m sorry but you need to get up again, I am nowhere near done.” He didn’t care that I just had a really intense orgasm. His only focus was to go on, and that’s what he did.

Nyx started by kissing my ear while his hands massaged my abs. He seemed obsessed with the spot where you could see his dick inside me. Like touching it was now his favorite thing to do. He pulled out as he took hold of my soft dick and started pumping it.

“Ny- Nyx.” I trembled. “It’s not go- going to…” My dick grew harder, despite the fact that it was still twitching from the orgasm I just had less than a minute ago. “Nyx…I-” my words got stuck in my throat when he rubbed his thumb over my slit. My legs were shaking uncontrollably and I was sensitive all over but Nyx still lined himself up with my hole.

Nyx’s pumps became faster when I was completely hard once again. He leaned into my shoulder and sniffed me. “Your smell right now is not helping you…it is only making me want to fuck you harder.” I moaned the thought of him fucking me harder. Unconsciously, my hips thrusted forward to make his pumps.

Nyx stopped pumping me as his hand wrapped around my neck. “Tap my thigh if it gets too much.” He instructed but I gave no reply. He held my chin, turning me to face him. He smiled at the sight of me and ended up kissing me until I was even more breathless. “Tap my thigh if it gets too much.” I nodded and that was enough for him.

He wrapped his hand around my neck and choked me. This time around he wasn’t soft like before. He choked me for a few seconds before letting go. He did this a few more times, watching my reactions.

He held onto my neck a little longer. This time I gripped his thigh with a grunt. I felt myself getting lightheaded. He let go of my neck and held my hair while sliding back in. I held onto the hand on my hair. He seemed to like that position because he said something about it. “Don’t move from that position.”

He gripped my hair harder, causing me to moan louder. He used my hair as an anchor to bring my ass closer to him. Nyx slapped my ass earning a loud yelp and a scream as I moaned louder for him to hear.

The more I screamed the harder he assaulted, both my hole and my skin that was now completely red. He held onto my abs feeling the bulge that was poking out. I shivered.

“No.” I moaned out knowing what was going to happen. He smiled and touched it. I screamed while getting out of position landing back down into the bed.

He grabbed my hair once again and pulled me back . “Hands up.” I moaned trembling but did as he ordered and he touched the spot again, causing me to tremble and my back to arch. “If you come before me we are doing this again.” Nyx warned.

Nyx smiled when he saw my toes curl up. I was doing everything I could to not cum but fuck it was hard. “Cum for me.” Nyx teased.

It felt like he was giving permission but I knew he wasn’t. He’s fucking with me. “You-” I moaned, trembling. “Sadist.” I managed to say. Everything was sensitive and Nyx wasn’t letting up. I’m overstimulated and any longer I was going to pass out.

I’m not sure if letting him fuck me was a good thing or bad thing. Now that I think about it, when I fucked him he didn’t want to stop either. It was almost like he was addicted, not to sex, but to me. Like he couldn’t get enough of me. An everlasting craving.

He bit down on my neck, causing me to tremble even more. “Nyx!” I screamed, my back arching even more. It’s like my body didn’t understand that we’ve had enough, it’s addicted to Nyx as well.

I came all over the bed sheets. Even in my trembling orgasmic state I knew that cumming wasn’t a good thing.

Nyx laughed when I couldn’t hold my orgasm, like he was enjoying this. He pulled out of my hole, letting me fall down on the bed, breathing heavily. I sighed in relief thinking it was over.

Nyx hadn’t come, I didn’t know how he was holding it but he was. He pushed himself off the bed as he took off his condom. He went into the kitchen and got a bottle of water taking a sip as he picked up another condom on his way back. I tried to crawl away but I didn’t have enough strength.

“Get some water.” He pulled me enough to help me drink some water. I chugged it down. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was.

Nyx finished the bottle before getting back on the bed. He peeled my legs apart and as soon as he held my dick it was hard. “Well, guess we are back.” He ripped the new condom and applied some lube before pushing back into me. I moaned.

“Nyx…oh fuck.” I held the pillow hiding my heaving face, my eyes were rolling back as I arched my back harder than I knew was possible.

“I’m not even moving.” He wasn’t, but just feeling him inside me and knowing what’s going to happen had my back arching. He held my lower abs and I immediately fell back down with a loud moan at the feeling of him pressing on his dick inside me.

My dick twitched oozing with more pre-cum, if it can be called that now. Nyx resumed his plunging. Faster and harder all his focus on me. I loved the feeling of having his full attention on me. “Ughh… Jesus Christ Nyx!!!”

Nyx slapped my inner thigh once again. My head was fuzzy. Everything tingled…I was so sensitive all over that even a tiny nibble got me screaming, yet I couldn’t help but tell Nyx to go faster and harder. I wanted to bring him to his orgasm.

“I’m so close my prince.” Nyx groaned. “I need you to arch your back for me.”

I moved my trembling body and arched my body, giving Nyx the exposure he needed. Nyx caressed my abs while moving in and out. This time harder. The closer he got, the harder he plunged in.

The sensation made me whimper in delight. I could see Nyx getting closer. I came three times now and he was already close. My toes curled up once again, the beautiful yet painful sensation traveling toward my lower region.

My body had reached its limit. “Nyx cum!” I yelled desperately. I squeezed around Nyx causing constant grunts from him with each movement.

The pleasure begun to accumulate through both our stomachs, Nyx finally reached his limit to explode.

And just seconds later I exploded, my body jerking violently. It was when I rolled over that I realized nothing came out. My balls had been dried out from one mother fuckin fuck.

Nyx has left the submissiveness outside and fucked me into oblivion. I could hardly catch my breath.

“Nyx!” I gasped. I felt my eyes getting heavy. “I- can’t…”

Dear diary,

I fucked up. I pushed Nyx so far that he’s now… I don’t know what he is but he’s not Nyx. It’s like a sex demon took over his body and fucked me til I passed out. Fuck I’m not sure if I’ll recover.

Chapter 38

Nyx pov:

I ordered breakfast, an unhealthy one. I got some buttery pancakes with some muffins to the side with bread and Nutella along with milk and orange juice. I wheeled them in slowly trying not to make my noise, I got a flower in the jar too accompanied by an envelope to the side.

I put everything in place then remembered the body lotion for his red skin with a note that said ‘Sorry, let me treat you.’ It wasn’t sealed like the first one.

I saw him move but with my already guilty heart, I sprinted out of the room as if my life depended on it. To my relief, he did wake up which made me sigh. I locked the bathroom door before picking up my phone and dialing his number. A part of me wanted him to pick up yet another part of me wasn’t ready for it.

I played with my fingers nervously. I felt like my heart might fall out of my chest. When he picked up and yelled my name. “Nyx!” I froze. He was furious, I didn’t even have to look at him to know that, his voice said it all. “Nyx…where are you?”

“Read the red envelope.” I whispered, I hope he can see how sorry I was for last night. I don’t know what happened to me, in the envelope I ensured he read it. I Nyx the Prince of Balemont am deeply ashamed of what I passed you through last night.’ even thinking about it drove me crazy.

When I woke up to his bruised skin I was horrified of myself. “Baby….where are you? I read the note just-” he sighed. “Where are you?” His voice was frantic now. He is still calling me baby after last night, I felt a hint of hope even in my distress.

Who treats their partner the way I did last night?

“In the bathroom.” I whispered while getting back to my feet. I cracked the door open for a bit to see Liam looking at me. “I…I’m sorry if I crossed any…I crossed so many lines.” I glanced down while tapping my foot nervously. I went too far. I don’t even know how he will look at me from now on.

Liking pain and what I did are two different things, the more I think about it the more I can’t look at myself.

“Come here.” Liam’s voice was hard and angry.

“You have every right to be-”

“Nyx please don’t make me get up.” Can he even get up? He must be in so much pain. I hung up the phone and slowly walked back to the bed.

I kept my distance grimacing at the sight of his red body yet a part of me couldn’t help but feel turned on. I’m sick, I’m a sick person. I looked at my feet. “I caused extreme pain last night, I understand why you’re angry but please don’t break up with me.” That thought made me run to him taking his hand. “I will gain more control to this sudden sickness-”

He reached for me and winced while doing so but managed to grab me and pull me into a hug nevertheless. “Holy fuck.” He sighed, visibly relaxing. “I thought you left.” He pulled back and as if finally grasping my words he frowned. “How could I break up with you? You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. Yeah, you turn into a completely different person when you’re horny but I find that hot.”

My face heated up. “You’re really not angry with me for…” I cut myself off. I couldn’t say the things I did out loud. I slapped him and made him cum like what four times. “You passed out, I was so worried I had injured you but also too embarrassed to call the ambulance. I watched you all night to make sure I didn’t kill you.” It was scary all night but his normal pulse kept me calm.

“I came five times last night I’m surprised I didn’t pass out sooner. I was so scared when I woke up and you weren’t here.” He looked away. “I thought you left….again.”

“Oh.” Last time my parents sent a car and I was unable to say goodbye to him. “I’m sorry for hiding like a coward. I should have been here when you woke up.” I sighed feeling relieved that he wasn’t upset about last night. “Now breakfast first or shower? I cleaned you as much as I could but still, a shower would be better.” I leaned over him picking up the ointment “We need to add more this to help heal your skin” I applied it last night, I should do it again today “And I got you flowers” I handed them to him.

I have never been as conniving as I am right now, I need to be a better boyfriend and I am willing to up my game just so he could forget I get ‘batshit’ crazy when horny. If I make him like me more he will forget and maybe allow me to have a repeat. See? This is not how I usually think… it’s conniving but to have a repeat I would do anything.

The plan is to make him like me more so that he allows me to do it again. I should be the best caring boyfriend.

“Shower then ointment then breakfast?” He asked, picking up the flowers.

I smiled, pecking his cheek. “Let me carry you.” I passed my hands under his body and got him off the bed and into the bathroom. I sat him down once inside. I turned the shower on then turned around to take his clothes off. I helped him into the shower then helped him shower. “Should we stay in and watch a movie or do you have something else in mind?”

“Movie. I’m going to make you watch a Disney movie.”

I smiled. “I’ll watch it, if it’s with you I would watch anything.” I pecked his lips before rinsing him off. I wrapped a towel around his body and then carried him back inside the bedroom. I got him some clothes and then brought out the ointment. I massaged slowly on every red spot, I made it quick to not get turned on. I helped him get into his pajamas. It’s not like we are about to go anywhere. I wheeled the breakfast closer handing him a plate. “Or do you want me to feed you?” I teased but I was half-serious.

“After being carried to the shower, I don’t think I can do anything by myself.” He joked.

I laughed as I raised both my hands. “Today, your wish is my command.” I picked up the plate and helped him eat.

He shook his head, taking the plate from me with a smile. “I got it.” He cut the pancake and fed it to me. “I can feed you though.”

I rolled my eyes but opened my mouth and let him feed me. “Holy fuck.” I gasped at the first taste. This is how pancakes taste like with sweet syrup instead of the unsweetened one. I picked up the waffles dying to know their taste as well. “Feed me this too.” I had to taste the different flavors.

He rolled his eyes playfully but cut the waffle nevertheless. He held it to my mouth. “I only have the taste for hash browns right now.”

I finished swallowing. “I can ask for some.” I laid on my stomach between his legs with my hands on his thigh. “I think we should stuff our bellies today, I want to try everything.” I opened up my mouth for another bite after changing the plate of waffles for pancakes. They are better.

“Yeah I woke up starving.” He took a bite of the pancakes. “What’s your favorite food?”

“Pizza and now pancakes.” I picked up a muffin, I wanted to try more sugar. I moaned after taking a bite, our chefs were good with healthy food but this was epic. “Now muffin.” I laughed picking up another, willing to eat them both at once.

“You’re so fucking cute.” He mumbled before leaning forward and taking a bite of my muffin.

“Hey!” I teased but didn’t take any other chances. I put the entire muffin in my mouth while picking up another one, it was too big to chew but I managed to break it down vigorously. I covered my mouth with a laugh. “I have always wanted to do that.”

“You’ve never stuffed your mouth with food?” He asked, taking a bite of the pancakes.

I shook my head. “A Prince should not act like that.” I said while stuffing another into my mouth, I didn’t care too much. “Can I get sick from too much sugar?” I asked with my hand on my mouth trying to break down the cupcake until I won. It was fun for reasons I’m not sure of.

“I’m pretty sure that’s called diabetes so yeah.” He said with a smile.

“I don’t care.” A day of sugar can’t kill me. “Feed me juice.” I could reach it but I didn’t want to. Funny how I said today was about him yet now…I don’t care. I want him to baby me for the day before I get back into reality.

He reached for the juice and held it to my lips. “What else can I do for you, Your Highness?”

“Feed me sweets.” I wrapped my hands around his waist getting my head into his abs. I lifted my head. “You smell fucking amazing.” It came out abruptly but yes, he smells so fuckin good. I couldn’t help myself but smell him even more curious about what he uses. “What do you use?”

He put the pancakes on the cart, trading it out for a plate of brownies. “Uh…soap….body wash.” He put the brownie to my lips. “Maybe a hint of love.”

I took the brownie while pushing my head into his pajama shirt trying to get a strong whiff of his scent when it finally hit me what he said. “A hint of what?”

“Dove….the soap.”

“Dove.” I nodded, I knew I heard wrong. The word was Dove. I opened my mouth for him to feed me again when he gave me another brownie I started playing with his shirt. “By the way these are better than muffins.” I admitted but then glanced up at him. “What type of Dove do you use?” I should buy some, maybe it will remind me of him whenever we are apart.

“Lavender.” He said, looking away.

“Lavender, you smell nothing like lavender.” I lifted his shirt again and sniffed. “You smell like-” I noticed his eyes cast away. “Hey, What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s definitely lavender.”

“You’re lying.” I pushed myself up so my chin was in his chest. “But I won’t force you to tell me.” I hugged him while sniffing but ended in laughter. “Definitely not lavender.” Why was he lying? The next time I go into his room I will find out.

“I’ll send you the soap.” He smiled, attaching our lips in a kiss.

“Good idea.” I moaned while pushing my tongue into his mouth. I hummed leaning on my hands to push higher than before so that I could consume his lips. I pulled back and smiled glancing at his wet lips. “Your lips give me butterflies.”

He smiled. “Maybe you’re just in love with me.”

“I think I would know if I was in love.” I leaned down kissing his skin. “For now I am just addicted to everything that is you.”

Dear Diary,

I don’t think I would know if I was in love, I lied when I said I would. I also don’t know if I want to be in love with him or not…call me confused round two.

Chapter 39

Liam pov:

We have two weeks until the wedding and I was currently in a meeting with the King of Veeral. After, I have a tux fitting with Nyx and I can’t wait to have him in my arms. The last time I saw him was when he fucked me into oblivion and then became a completely different person the next day. I have come to learn that Nyx has an insanely high sex drive.

The king of Veeral held his hands together, his eyes held kindness with his aged lines showing with every movement of his face. “We will definitely be in alliance with Avalont. My daughter and I have already discussed this with both the King and Queen of Balemont.”

I was surprised by his answer. I was led to believe that the King and Queen of Balemont didn’t like the King of Veeral. Them having a meeting with a kingdom they hate, instead of sending Nyx to do it is surprising.

“Lady Augustus? How is she doing.” I asked but I didn’t really care. I’m still not very fond of her even if she has done absolutely nothing wrong.

He laughed. “She has been sad but now she is ecstatic. She will get to marry the love of her life.”

My eyebrows raised. “Oh? Congratulations on the engagement.” I said with a smile. “Who will she be marrying?” I couldn’t help but ask. I’m glad she’s going to have a spouse, it’ll put my mind at ease when she’s around, knowing that she’s married and wouldn’t be coming after Nyx.

“After the merging of the two kingdoms, she will get married to Nyx Lada of Balemont.” 

I felt like my entire world just fell. What is he talking about? Nyx is supposed to get married to me in two weeks. He can’t marry Lady Augustus. Why does he seem to have so much information about something that’s affecting my life as well and I’m completely in the dark.

He smiled as he took a sip of his drink before humming. “She finally understood that the marriage between you and Prince Nyx will is just for the merger and soon you two will choose your loves. When I heard this I immediately took the chance of making my daughter the immediate bride of Prince Nyx.”

Just married for the merging? While it’s true, I fell for Nyx. I believed that we would be married and have children in a big palace and rule Avalont together.

Without noticing my anger he added. “Have you found your bride too?”

I glared at him. “Elaborate. How’s the wedding supposed to happen after Prince Nyx and I are married?” I said, trying to hide my anger. “My apologies, I’ve been so busy that my parents haven’t gotten a chance to go over the details.”

Maybe Nyx doesn’t know about this and he isn’t purposely playing with my heart. Maybe he has the same goals as me. Maybe this was his parents doing. He wouldn’t have asked me to be his boyfriend if he was going to do this, right?

“Queen Ashley and King William sat my daughter and I down, they told us after you two get married you will divorce to marry your loves.” He smiled. “Everyone knows you’re not getting married for love and after the merging, you will get to find the ones for you.”

I smiled. “And I’m sure prince Nyx has been informed of this, yes?” I need to know if Nyx was just playing with my heart.

“Oh yes.” He nodded and I felt like I was going to puke. “He has always been in love with my Augustus, this is news that got them over the moon after being separated. Love always wins.” He looked so happy about the news like the world was clear once again.

“Well congratulations to them.” I stood up. “If you’ll excuse me, I have another appointment. Sorry for leaving so quickly, my schedule’s tight.” I gritted out.

“I understand.” King stood up to shake his hand. “I am getting old and have little to no appointments. I start to forget how busy a prince can be, I apologize and have a safe trip back home.”

“I will. Take care.” I said before leaving. I stormed out of the palace absolutely livid. He knew this entire time and was acting all lovey dovey to fuck with me. Asking me to be his boyfriend like it’s some sick joke to him.

We couldn’t have made it to the tux shop fast enough. I was still furious. When I saw Nyx my anger only grew. His bright smile and eyes that sparkled when he saw me were nothing but a lie. He didn’t want me, he just wanted my kingdom.

“Hey.” Nyx smiled while approaching me. “Your appointment took longer than I had expected. I really missed you.” He leaned in for a kiss.

I stepped to the side, entering the shop without a word to him. “Good afternoon my prince.” The shop keeper bowed.

“Can we get this done as fast as possible?” I said. I didn’t even want to be in the same room as Nyx anymore.

We had a FaceTime call today and I thought everything was going good, only to find out he planned on divorcing me immediately. All so he could be with Lady Augustus. This is the pizza parlor all over again, except I might be in love with him this time.

Nyx walked over and stood beside me looking worried. It was fake. It had to have been fake, but why did it seem so genuine? “Is something wrong?” He asked his eyes showing nothing but pure concern.

I stepped away from him but he stepped closer. “Nyx get the fuck away from me….please.”

Nyx glanced at the shop owner. “Can you give us a minute.”

I looked at the shop owner. “Stay. We have nothing to talk about.” I didn’t want to talk to him at all. I didn’t want to speak of the wedding he planned on having after serving me divorce papers. He was going to go and be happy with Lady Augustus and live in luxury with my kingdoms money, not caring about how others felt.

He walked to the other side quietly with his arms over his chest. The worker started taking my measurements. Nyx had already had his done so he stood there and watched in silence. I didn’t make eye contact with Nyx the entire time I was getting my measurements done. I was ready to just get out of here.

“Since you’re in a hurry today, Prince Liam, We can try on your tux tomorrow.” I nodded. The original plan was to stay while the tux was getting made so we can alter anything we wanted while he was doing it. My schedule was free for a couple of hours for this exact thing.

I grabbed my jacket and was about to walk out when Nyx stopped me. “My Prince, let’s talk.” Nyx took my hand and pulled me into the fitting room we were in when I hugged him for the first time. He locked the door before turning back to me. “Did something bad happen?”

“Why are you acting like you care?”

Nyx’s eyes widened in shock before softening. “I do care, did I do something?” Nyx got a little closer. “Baby, I care about you so much. If I did anything to make you feel like I don’t I’m so sorry…please forgive me.” Pet names that used to turn me on now made me want to vomit.

“Don’t call me that!” I yelled. “Get away from me.” I stepped back as far as I could. “You fucking disgust me.” I shook my head. “How could you?”

Nyx took a step back with tears in his eyes. “I-” he held a hand over his chest while holding onto the wall with tears streaming down his face. “What did I do to deserve such words?”

“You planned on divorcing me to go marry Lady Augustus! You’re playing with my heart again! And you sit there and act innocent again! King Arthur told me everything.” I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to calm down. “Do you hate me?” I said softly. “That has to be it…right?”

He hates me. That’s the only logical explanation for why he’s doing this. Why he’s using me. He was just lying when he said he liked me. I was being played this entire time.

“It was not my plan, you have to believe me. I was told after the elevator. I was never gonna go through with it believe me.” Nyx walked over to me. “I don’t hate you.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “If that wasn’t true then as soon as you found out you would’ve told me. Instead you kept it a secret and let me find out in the worst way possible. I was in a meeting, completely caught off guard when King Arthur brought it up. He told me that my fiancé, my boyfriend, the man that I trust with my life was going to marry the woman I hate the most.” I looked at him, tears falling down my face.

“Why’d…” I sighed, wiping my tears. “Why’d you ask me to be your boyfriend if you were going to marry her. Don’t tell me that you weren’t going to marry her because not only is that what you wanted this entire time, but it’s also what your mother wants and you’ve said it before, you’ll do anything she asks of you. So tell me, why do you choose to hurt me? Why do you hate me so much?”

“Liam listen to me.” Nyx tried to hold my hands but I pushed him away. “I won’t do it…I promise. I will not go through with it.” He pleaded but I knew it was all just a lie. He said before he wouldn’t be happy unless his mother was happen and his mother was probably the one who suggested the wedding with Lady Augustus.

I shook my head. “I don’t believe you. Your heart belongs to her. Your heart has always belonged to her. I’m just standing in the way of you and the love of your life. I apologize for not figuring this out sooner and wasting your time.”

“My heart belongs to you not her.” Nyx pleaded. He’s lying.

“Why are you still lying? Be honest…please. You’re hurting me enough just…”

“I don’t want to hurt you, I will say no to her.” Nyx firmed. “You make me brave Liam, I will say no to my mom.”

“No you won’t.” I shook my head. “I don’t make you brave. You’re just saying things to make me want to marry you. You need us more than we need you, right? Did your mother also tell you to get me to like you so I have no choice but to want to marry you?”

Nyx kept quiet for a second. “My father did but-”

“Was this before or after the elevator? Before or after you asked me to be your boyfriend?” I asked in disbelief.

Nyx turned away from me as he played with his hands, a nervous habit he picked up from me. “Before everything.” He whispered. He glanced at me “On our first meeting.”

I exhaled. “Before everything.” I repeated, shaking my head. “Was this what was going through your head when you made all of those promises? When you promised to protect me? When you promised…” I let out a shaky breath.

“Was this what went through your head when you asked me to be your boyfriend? Or when we kissed? All those times we were being intimate?”

I looked at the ceiling with my hands on my hips. “Fuck this must’ve been on your mind the entire time. None of it was genuine was it? As always you were doing what your parents told you to do, following orders like a good boy. Being the perfect prince and doing whatever your parents ask of you, no matter who you hurt.”

“Everything was real.” Nyx cried holding his fists over his mouth. “I wasn’t following anyone…just my heart. My heart was following you, please believe me please, please, please, please, please.” Nyx chanted hoping I believed that for once he was not pleasing anyone when he was with me. It was for him, but I don’t believe him.

“I don’t believe you. No matter how many times you beg and plead for me to believe you, I don’t.” I wiped my tears. “There’s nothing I can do to get out of this marriage now that the public knows.” We’re this far along, the palace is already being built, houses, communities. We’ve done so much for the kingdom of Avalont already it’s too late to back out, no matter how much I want to. “I’ll expect you to sign a prenup before the wedding. My lawyers will be in contact.” I looked at him. “I’ll see you at the rehearsal, Prince Nyx.”

Dear diary,

I don’t know what to say. I was falling in love with him. The entire time he was just following orders. He never wanted me. I can’t believe I fell for it…again.

Chapter 40

Nyx pov:

“Nyx fix your hair.”

“Yes Mom I’m sorry.”

“Nyx where did you get dirt on your shirt?” I glanced at it and found a tiny spot on my arm. Almost invisible. “I taught you to be careful, are you two?” She yelled.

“I’m sorry Mom.” I replied while running back to my bedroom to change.

“This goes with this why are you so stupid?!” She slammed the book down in anger. “It is exhausting teaching you!” She stood up and walked away.

I cried while picking up the book trying to understand what she was teaching me. Day and night I read, I read just so I could be easier to teach.

“Nyx.” Mom called when I was in my class, she walked to me with one arm open. “You passed.” She pulled out a paper from her back. I got a 100. “You made me proud my sweet boy.” She smiled while fixing my hair. “No classes today, let’s go and play.”

Every time I pleased her we played, she would let me play hide and seek or roll in the grass from time to time. It all depended on my performance. Whenever my dad was not busy and I did well he would carry me or read me an uneducational book to sleep.

That is how everything began, I pleased them and they made me happy. When I didn’t they stopped talking to me or telling me how they were disappointed in me, I would cry all day and try my best the next.

I developed an attachment to it. They were my only friends and they were always right. They loved me and would never throw me into the Lion’s Den. I didn’t know back then and I still don’t know now.

No matter how much I was dying inside I still wanted to make her happy. “Why do you look like a ghost?” She commented. “Jonathan, apply makeup on him…heavily and fix whatever is going on with him.” She motioned to my face before walking away without asking if I was okay or not.

She used to, but nowadays she couldn’t care less. I got up before Jonathan could start and walked over to her. “Mom can I have a hug?” She stopped walking and glanced at me.

“I can’t even look at you when you’re looking like that, go fix your face. You look like you’re about to fall dead…are you sick again?”

“No Mom, I’m not sick.” I took her hand. “If I fix myself up will you give me a hug?” She nodded, and I smiled. “Your hand is soft.”

“Because I take care of my skin.” She took her hand from mine and then held my face. “You’re grown, I shouldn’t be reminding you of everything.” She sighed while glancing around. She saw a servant and called out to her. “Go tell the king I will be late, his son needs some cleaning.” She pulled my hand and took me to the steaming baths. “Get into the tub.”

She walked away and when she came back I was already in the bathtub that was filled with rose-scented warm water. The scent had nothing to do with Liam but he consumed my head when I remembered how he smelled.

I held my hands over my face and sobbed. I tried calling him but now I think he blocked me, his phone keeps saying busy. I miss him so much. “Nyx.” I glanced up. “Why are you crying?” She had rested the shampoo, conditioner, and soap down as she sat next to the tub, looking at me. “Is it Prince Liam?” I nodded. “What happened?”

“He called me disgusting.” I cried even harder, she held my chin lifting my head up.

“You care about what that useless excuse of a prince thinks of you?” She clicked her tongue. “I taught you better than that.”

“He found out about my marriage with Lady Augustus.” Her eyes widened, and her hold on my chin tightened.

“You told him” I shook my head.

“He had a meeting with King Authur-”

“That old dying wench.” She let go of me while glancing back with a deep exhale. “What else did Liam say?”

“He wants a prenup.”

“What did you say?” Was I supposed to say something?

“Nothing.”

“Are you stupid?” She almost yelled yet managed to keep her voice sharp but low. “You’re going to ruin all of our plans.” She stood up holding her dress. “I can’t believe you, out of all the words in this world you could’ve said, you said nothing.” She scoffed before walking away, I leaned back in the tub.

What could I have said? There is nothing- I love him.

I am terrified of it but I do love him even if I try to skip it. I wanted to tell him that day but he was angry, he couldn’t have received it well. He would have thought I was lying to save myself and the last thing I need is for him to think my love is not real.

I heard hushed footsteps and soon a servant walked in. He bowed. “Your highness, the Queen requests for your presence.” I nodded and as soon as he disappeared I stood up and took off my wet boxers before drying myself up. I put on some new clothes and fixed myself up as well as I could to be presentable.

I walked out of the steam baths without actually using any. The minute I got to the first living room I saw my valet with my suitcase. “Are we going somewhere?”

“Yes my prince, we are going to visit Avalon” My heart thumped happily. Finally, I was going to meet up with him. Mom appeared from upstairs.

“Let’s go.” She ordered I walked by her side until we got into the car and drove away into Avalon. I didn’t know if Liam was ready to see me or not. Was I ready? “Listen.” Mom caught my attention. “We are going to go there and you are going to make sure he doesn’t go along with the prenup.”

“What if I can’t?”

“Then do whatever it takes even if it means you groveling at his feet do it.” I glanced out of the car.

“What if I still can’t?”

“This is the most important thing to your people if you can’t do it then what use are you to us?” I glanced at her, and I felt my heart break at her words. “If he wants to sleep with you anywhere accept.” She finally held eye contact with me. “Why are you crying when you have let him in an elevator, it wouldn’t be the first time. Do it for your people and make yourself presentable.”

I cleaned myself up and tried to fix myself up. I think I didn’t reach her standards because she pulled me in and fixed me up then hugged me. “You know I love you.” I nodded. “I know I am asking for a lot here but you’re the one who messed up.” She caressed the back of my head even if I knew she was just fixing it, it felt nice. “If you do this you will be a good boy, not only to me and your father but to all the people. And you will be given anything you want.”

“Anything?” I asked while hugging her tighter feeling her warmth.

“Anything.”

“Can I not marry Lady Augustus?”

“Choose something else.” The finality in her voice made me shut up. I didn’t argue with her and just nodded. “What do you want?”

“Nothing, this is enough.” I replied, staying in the hug. I had even fallen asleep in her arms until I was awakened when we reached Avalon.

We got out of the car after fixing myself again, we were given a warm welcome by Queen Amelia, who stood next to Luca. They were talking when Liam finally joined, he stopped upon seeing me. Instead of approaching, he walked away. “Go talk to him.” Mom pushed me.

I nodded but instead of going after him I took another turn, I was not going to talk or grovel or have sex with Liam to save my people. I need to make sure when I talk to Liam again I decide that and not someone else.

If I decide to grovel it should be me, if I decide to have a second elevator scene then it will be me too and to prove that I love Liam I needed to make sure I am not under my mom’s influence.

For the entire day, I didn’t speak with Liam. When dinner time came we all had to sit down. Mom kept on pushing me to have a conversation but I kept silent. It was killing me not talking to Liam but I knew this had to be done to prove to myself that I was growing or I would forever be in the same place.

Once dinner was done I excused myself and made my way to my assigned room. I closed the door and immediately broke down, everything hurt.

My heart was being pulled not only for talking to Liam but also for not doing what I was told to do. I was conflicted and it made my head and heart heavy. This is when I do as I am told. The look on her face makes me sad but the way Liam thought low and disgusted by me made me sadder.

I had to be selfish like she had been in the car. She can’t do anything or sacrifice for me yet here I am willing to grovel so I can do it for her, but I won’t this time. My heart might hurt but I won’t. I had to pull myself out of her manipulation tactics and save myself.

I needed to fight for myself, this was me against me.

When morning arrived I had finished cleaning myself up when a knock came. I opened the door already knowing who it was, she entered and closed the door behind her. “What happened? You haven’t tried to mend things.”

‘I’m going to.’ That’s what I wanted to say, I wanted to do it. Convince Liam. “He told me to pretend he doesn’t exist, I failed Mom.” I lied, I walked back to the bed feeling like if I didn’t sit I would pass out.

“Are you sure you tried everything?” I nodded but kept my eyes down unable to look her in the eye. I might finally crack and tell her I didn’t. “What is going to sway that stupid Prince?” I played with my fingers, saddened because of the fact that I couldn’t defend him in front of my mother. He was anything but stupid. “Okay, wait here.” She walked out before I could say another thing.

Twenty or so minutes later my assigned valet called me and told me she needed to see me. I expected to be led into…any room honestly and not the basement. “Get in.” Mom opened the freezer.

I glanced at her. “It’s a freezer.” Without a reply, she pushed me in and then locked the door “Mom.” I called, already feeling cold, A suit was not meant for cold. “Mom please get me out.” Instead she just walked away with the valet leaving me behind. “Mom.” I trembled holding onto the wall that was so cold, I was trying to find a less cold place but I couldn’t final any.

I slid down the cold wall and sat on the cold floor my skin already feeling like it was cold enough to pass out.

Dear Diary,

My third time going against her and I ended up in a freezer… I’m sick and tired, maybe if I die in here I will finally find some peace.

Chapter 41

Liam pov:

Nyx was the last person I wanted to see, yet here he was in the palace once again. I’ve been trying my best to avoid him and surprisingly he hasn’t went out of his way to talk to me. I can’t stand the sight of him. The storm grey eyes that I used to love looking at, now made me sick to my stomach.

I was hemmed up in my room, avoiding Nyx as much as possible. I will be called down for breakfast soon and I’m hoping we don’t run into each other before then. We sat at the same dinner table and we didn’t even look at each other. It hurt not talking to him, but it hurt even more knowing everything he did was a lie. It was all a lie to get me to marry him.

He never actually liked me, yet I fell in love with him. My walls came crashing down before I could even see it. I hate that I let myself fall for someone like that.

A knock at the door pulled me out of my thoughts. I opened it to find Ashley. I rolled my eyes, tightening my robe. “Can I help you?”

“Prince Nyx…he..” She held a hand over her chest crying. “He got stuck in the freezer.”

I looked at her with a frown. “What exactly would you like me to do?” Of course I was worried about him, but I’d like to avoid him as much as possible. Couldn’t they help a prince who somehow got stuck in a freezer?

“He is going to die.” She spoke while holding her dress. “You’re room was closer, the butler lives all the way- forget it. Let your future husband die you heartless…” She cut herself off as she frantically started running away.

I immediately ran downstairs into the kitchen, not caring that I was practically naked. There was no way I was letting him die. It took some pulling but I was finally able to get the freezer door open. It was cold as fuck in there but I stepped in anyway. “Nyx…let’s go.” I said, reaching out for him.

“Liam?” Nyx was shivering. He was about to take my hand when the door was locked behind us.

I immediately turned away from Nyx, pounding on the freezer door. “Fuck!”

Nyx wrapped his hands around himself, unable to move. I sighed, taking off my robe and handing it to Nyx. “Here.” I said, looking away from him.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Nyx take the fucking robe. You’re turning blue don’t make this harder than it has to be.” It took everything in me not to yell. If he’s clearly cold why wouldn’t he just take the robe? He’s been in here longer than me, he needs it more than I do.

Nyx pushed himself further away from me, without taking the robe. He leaned his head into his knees and covered his face.

I got on my knees in front of Nyx and wrapped the robe around him. “Why are you being so fucking stubborn?”

“You told me to not listen to her, I’m doing exactly that.” Nyx got the robe pulled it off, and rested it back in my hands. “This is exactly what she wants.”

I grabbed his hand and forced his arm into the sleeve of the robe before doing the same to the other. “Nyx what are you talking about?” I asked, getting irritated.

“I refused her.” Nyx cried while pulling the robe closer to his cold body, trying to get some warmth. “Now here we are, in a freezer. I don’t know what she expects but I am not doing it.”

“You’re not making sense.” I was starting to get cold too now that I didn’t have my robe.

“You told me not to listen to her now you’re going to die in here.” Nyx tried to take off the robe and hand it back to me.

I stopped him from taking the robe off. “Nyx…you’re confusing me.” What is he talking about? Listen to who?

“She told to do anything it takes to make you forgive me but I don’t want to. I want to talk to you after making sure she is not in my head. I don’t want you to think I am doing all this because of her, I get confused sometimes. But I know I like you with all my heart and not because of her but if I speak with you on her command then it means I am doing it for her and I don’t…I don’t want that.”

“Your mom?” I asked.

Nyx nodded with a hum. “I’m trying to fight it and I know you can never believe a word I say but I am.”

Strangely enough, I did believe him. Maybe I just missed being this close to him and was ready to except anything he says. “Why the change of heart?”

“I can’t tell you now, you won’t believe me.”

I looked in his storm grey eyes, searching for a lie. When I couldn’t find one I said, “Try me.”

Nyx looked at his face before glancing away when a tear fell. “You don’t have to say anything, even if you don’t believe just stay quiet. Okay?”

I wanted to wipe the tear away but decided against it. “Okay.”

“I love you.” My heart dropped when he said those words. The three words I couldn’t bring myself to say weeks ago.

Nyx’s eyes were cast down. “You don’t have to believe me, but I do. I love you and I am scared that nothing will ever grow from this because of my inability to fight my mom out of my head. I am sure I love you, but this is not how I wanted to tell you. I wanted to say it when we were in a good place. I don’t think we will ever get there after breaking your trust.”

“You what?” I asked, to hear him saying again.

“I’m sorry it is inappropriate for me to say this.” He sighed while pulling the robe closer. “Forget I said anything.”

“Nyx…say it again.”

“I love you.” His eyes holding eye contact this time showing the pain and love behind those words.

I pulled him into a kiss and kissed him until we were breathless. I missed the way his lips felt against mine. Nyx wrapped his cold hands around me while pushing himself into me.

He pushed himself more only to collapse on me. “I think I am going to die.” He whispered unable to move his body.

I held on to him. I’m not sure how long we’d been in there but the sound of the freezer door opening was like music to my ears. “My goodness! Your highness! What are you doing in here?” A maid said, running to us. “You could’ve froze to death in here. Hold on, I’ll be back with some blankets.” She said, turning around.

“Don’t!” Nyx and I yelled at the same time.

She looked at us with a sigh. “Lily, could you bring some blankets to the freezer? Our princes got stuck.” Lily came with blankets within two minutes and Nyx and I were still cuddled together, trying to find warmth in each other.

We had blankets wrapped around us and we were helped out of the freezer. “I’ll make you two a hot bath.”

“Just make one I’ll be fine.” I said to the made, but really I just planned on sneaking into Nyx’s bath. I want to talk to him.

I walked over to Nyx and grabbed his hand. “Um…can we talk…later?” Nyx nodded still unable to function properly.

The maid came back downstairs. “Your highness, the bath is ready. Would you like me to help you?”

I looked at Nyx. “I can help him.” I grabbed him and picked him up bridal style. I walked up the stairs and made my way to Nyx’s room. We entered the bathroom and I put him down. I helped him out of his clothes and into the bath. Once he was in I stripped from my clothes and got in with him.

Nyx leaned into me still freezing, he needed more warmth. “Do you think I will get hypothermia?”

“Probably not. How’d you get in there?”

“She had brought me here to talk to you but I didn’t.” Nyx sighed, the warmness starting to reach his skin now. “Early today she came to me asking why I wasn’t trying and I lied…first time lying to her. I told her I did and you didn’t want to. The next thing I know she takes me into the freezer and locks the door.”

“Fuck…she knocked on my door and told me you were stuck in the freezer.”

“She wanted us to make up so I can convince you to not let me sign the prenup.” Nyx glanced back. “We are going to sign it…” he glanced back to the front. “I want you to trust me and I will sign it despite her being against it.”

I sighed. “I wish I could say that you don’t need to sign it but I don’t fully trust you. I’m not entirely sure why I trusted you when you said you loved me….but I did.” I looked at him. “You meant it right? That’s not something your dad put you up to?”

“My mom asked what I said after you suggested a prenup. I told her nothing and she said, ‘Out of all the things you could have said you said nothing’. That is when it hit me…I could have said I love you but that was not how I wanted to say it. I wanted us to be happy before I said it.” Nyx glanced back at me. “I am willing to tell you the truth but you don’t trust me, I don’t trust myself either and I love you. It doesn’t mean I have completely changed. I am still mentally struggling.”

“What do you want?”

“To grow.” He sighed “And realize that I shouldn’t please in order to get something back. It’s always nice to do nice things without anything in return but to always be in constant yearning for affection that can only be gotten after doing something…that is what I am fighting. I don’t want my heart to hurt because I turned down something that is mentally and physically challenging just because I am searching for that praise from anyone.” Nyx lifted his head.

“Do you want to grow….together or is this something you feel like you need to do on your own?”

“If you’re not ready to do it with me you don’t have to.” His head moved to my shoulder looking, me in the eye. “If I am being honest, If I do it without you I might end up where I started and doing the same thing, still yearning. I can do anything for at least a friend and if I can’t then I will be looking at my mom again and taking the scrapes she gives me. Do everything on her timeline just so I could get something from her. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t let myself go back there, but searching for someone to be comfortable with as I am with you will take long and I still don’t think I will find anyone even remotely close.”

“I want you to be the best person you can be.” I looked at him. “Let’s do it together.”

“Really?” Nyx smiled brightly. His smile made me melt.

I moved around in the tub until I eventually got in between his legs. I pecked him on the lips. “Really.”

Nyx glanced at me wondering what I was planning on doing. I looked at Nyx. “What are you comfortable doing right now?”

“When you make me horny I take whatever is served”

“Let’s get out of here. I want to try something.”

Dear diary,

We’re growing….together.

Chapter 42

Nyx pov:

As soon as we left the bath we went into bed, I was warm now but I still felt cold. I was shivering and Liam holding me was my anchor to not feel like my heart might stop any time from now.

I still couldn’t feel my fingers so Liam helped me with the hot chocolate the maids made. I was given some out-of-the-oven bread, it was milky and sweet better than the oats I am used to. I felt warm and fuzzy with this kind of treatment.

A very well-deserved treatment after being stuck in the freezer for more than thirty minutes. “Um, I love this.” This had to be one of the best moments. I was still enjoying myself when the door opened again this time my mom walking in.

She hasn’t come to see me hours after the freezer. She smiled while closing the door. “I’m glad to see you two doing better.” She didn’t even ask if I was okay. I like being asked if I am okay. I like it when someone cares for me and growing up striving for it makes me crave it even more, especially from her but now I need to take it out of my head.

“I didn’t like what you did.” I didn’t specify but I hoped she knew what I was saying exactly.

“The most important thing is that you two are doing better.” She smiled before leaving as if I had said nothing to her. I hugged Liam harder, feeling like crying once again.

“She almost killed me but she doesn’t care.” Not like she ever did. I made myself believe she did when she actually didn’t and it was all in my head because she would only care if I did what she wanted.

I would have never realized any of this if I had never met Liam. He showed me how to be cared for without anything in return. No matter the mistake I make he brushes it off as if it’s a human thing to do and not something to be ashamed of. After how I treated him on our date I thought he would never speak to me but he stayed.

He has been patient with me, he has seen me and tried to accept me even after I told him I would always want to please my mother. At that time…no even now she is the only friend I have and her paying attention to me has always been everything to me.

“Did she just walk out without asking how you were feeling?” Liam asked, anger evident in his voice. He looked at me and sighed, pulling me closer. “It’s okay baby…I’m here.”

“I will be okay.” I smiled but hid something behind it. It still hurt that she didn’t and I don’t know how I should get over the attachment I have to her because I would miss something like this and try harder so I can get asked, ‘Are you okay?’

“Is there anything I can do?”

I shook my head. “You’re already doing enough.” I just needed to be strong and fight my conflicting thoughts and feelings. “Should we watch a Disney movie? We never got to it last time.”

“You said you didn’t stay up long enough for movies.”

“Yes, but the silence is killing me.” I don’t want to think any more than I am because now it’s getting to the point where I am worried about disappointing him when I can’t fight my mother. Those are not the kind of thoughts I need right now.

“Okay…what movie?” He asked, grabbing his phone.

“Your favorite.”

“Animation or live action?” He asked, biting his bottom lip to hide his excitement.

“Your favorite.” I laughed, not helping at all but he should choose the thing he likes. I want to see if I will like it too. “Let it be funny though, I need a good laugh.”

“Let’s watch The Lion King it’s my favorite.”

“Okay.” This got me extremely excited, watching his favorite film.

Liam put on The Lion King and just the beginning got me captivated.  When Mufasa died I held my heart, almost tearing up. “Scar is a bitch for that but keep watching I promise it gets better.” Liam reassured me.

The movie went on, the music was relieving but there was a certain song that got Liam singing, ‘Hakuna Matata’. I looked at him while laughing.

I laughed while nodding my head following the beat. It was indeed a catchy song…I followed the movie and it was captivating, my eyes could barely leave the screen. By the time the movie ended, I was over the moon. The best movie I have ever watched and Liam made the experience great. “Wow, it’s been a long time since I saw a movie this great.”

“The Lion King is a classic. I’m glad you like it.” Liam said, snuggling closer to me.

“The best.” There were no words to describe it. “Watch it again?”

He laughed. “Now?”

I nodded “Do you have any movie better than this one? This movie is like pizza, what movie is gonna beat it?”

He hummed. “Iron man? It’s technically not Disney.”

“Iron Man…what?” I sat up glancing at him. I decided to not judge. “Okay, let’s try it.”

He shook his head with a smile, like he knew I would like it better. He played the movie. I leaned over him picking up the snacks as the movie started. “Violence.” I hummed while crunching on the snack. “Oh that’s a cool suit.” I leaned back to Liam. “Does it mean I’m gay? I am actually attracted to him.”

“You could be bisexual.” He shrugged. “He’s hot.”

“I know like…” I opened my mouth, at the way he walked. His suit going on was like drool-worthy. “Yeah…I think bisexual is the word.” The girl is like hot too.

“I’m bisexual too…if it makes you feel any better.”

“Did you know all along?” I asked my eyes completely submerged in the movie I couldn’t even look at him. The first time I had relaxed enough and enjoyed a movie in such a long time.

“Somewhat…that night I went to Balemont is the night my bisexuality was confirmed.”

“Huh…oh my god.” I wanted to ask more yet the movie took my attention and I ended up ignoring him for the entire movie. I glanced back at him with a smile then remembered I ignored him. “Sorry…you were saying?”

He shook his head with a small smile on his face. “What did you think about the movie?”

“So good…should we start another one?” I was ready to binge-watch anything for the day.

“Beauty and the Beast?”

“Let’s go” And with this, we binge-watched movies left and right. I snacked on everything I could get my hands on until my stomach hurt. We were alternating between some action and some animated movies, the worst one was a romance movie.

Didn’t like it…it bored me I almost fell asleep but then another animation came on, ‘Cars’ I woke up with that one. The comedy one was also good. ‘The Hungover’ I laughed the whole way through.

And by evening I could barely keep my eyes open and I fell asleep in Liam’s arms. I finally had some sleep. I didn’t sleep because of pain but instead because of contentment.

Dear Diary

Today I start my healing and growth journey. For the first time, I didn’t think about my mom after disobeying her. I still have a long way, but with Liam, I am already finding my place. The place I have been searching for my whole life, the place where I want to stay forever.

Chapter 43

Liam pov:

“This might sound really weird…but I want to bite you.” It sounded weird when I thought it. I’m not sure how to explain it but I want to touch him every second and if I could, actually be in his skin. Fuck that sounds completely insane.

Nyx gasped, holding himself. “Should I be hiding my skin from you?” He teased, feigning horror.

I looked at him. “I think that’s a good idea.” This urge to just randomly bite him is absolutely insane.

“Or… this is gonna sound insane, but maybe you could not bite.”

“Yeah no that’s insane.” I rolled my eyes.

Nyx laughed throwing his head back. “Now I want to bite.” Nyx leaned in and bit my shoulder teasingly not enough to cause any bruises but at least a numbing pain.

“Ah yes my very own vampire.”

“Too bad I lack fangs, I could be sucking on you all day and night.”

“I’m sure you’d like that.” I laughed.

“I am betting that would be better.” Nyx pointed between my legs.

I hummed. “I can definitely show you why I got this choking hazard tattoo.” I smiled, kissing along his jawline.

Nyx smiled while wrapping his hands over his chest. “It would have been better if I had it.” He raised his hands in surrender. “I don’t make the rules.”

“You want one?” I don’t think a choking hazard tattoo would suit him but fuck would he look amazing with my name on him.

“Like I said, I don’t do well with pain. A lot of things make me cry, I am not putting a needle on that list when I have a choice.”

“Understandable.” The car came to a stop. “Want to leave now or can I take you up on that offer to suck my dick?” I teased.

“Oh dirty.” He said in a seductive, teasing way. He unbuckled his seat belt and then leaned over to my side. He leaned down, looking like he was going to actually suck my dick, but instead unclasped my seat belt before running out of the car with a loud laugh.

“That’s not fucking funny!” I yelled, chasing after him.

“I know.” Nyx let himself get caught before wrapping his hands around me. “I would hate you for it but I just wanted to tease you.” He pecked my lips. “It was funny to me though.”

I pulled him into a kiss, not caring that we were still outside at the entrance of the rehearsal where anyone could see.

Nyx moaned, his hands finding the back of my neck, deepening the kiss even more. “One of these days, I’m actually gonna make love to you.”

I hummed. “Sounds like a honeymoon thing.”

“Sounds like something that should wait until you fall for me.” Nyx pulled me before I could reply and as we reached the gates he added. “No pressure though.”

“No pressure.” I mumbled, allowing him to drag me into the building.

Nyx leaned back into me when he saw our moms talking to famous designers. “This is gonna be a long one.” He cleared his throat as he approached. He greeted his mom along with my mom.

“Nyx.” His mom smiled while holding onto his arm. “Which ribbon is better?” There were like five different types.

“Neither.” She rubbed his hand up and down with an even wider smile. She kept eyeing the green ribbon.

“Think.” Nyx glanced at them again and after following his mother’s eyes he finally understood what color she wanted him to pick.

“Um.” Nyx rubbed his ear, clearly not wanting to say green. He pulled me while getting away from his mother. “Liam and I chose silver and black.”

“Nyx.” She pulled him back. “You always like green, it will look good up there.” She sighed while pointing at my mother. “She wanted white but we think green will be better, everyone does and now my son does too.” She pointed at the famous designers who smiled despite of it.

Nyx sighed. I could tell he was about to agree to not embarrass her. “Yeah, green is better.” He replied, defeated.

“I think green is ugly so we’re going with black and silver.” I said, glaring at Ashley.

She smiled “Prince Liam, shouldn’t you consider you’re soon to be husband’s wishes? He wants green. Right Nyx?”

“I do like green but black and silver would be better.” Nyx looked like someone was throwing tons of bricks at his chest. “Or…we can put green in there somewhere.”

“No green is actually my least favorite color.” I lied. Nyx looks like he doesn’t want green in the wedding at all. “Black and silver.”

Both Nyx and his mom stayed quiet. “If we choose black and silver we will have to change all the decorations, the themes, the cakes, the invitations and we have no time to redo everything with the wedding only a week away” One of the wedding planners spoke.

Nyx glanced at me, eyes asking if we were really going to make them redo everything.

“Well I suggest you hurry and get the orders in.” I smiled at the wedding planner before glaring at Ashley. “If I see even a green leaf at our wedding you’re going to regret it. As of today all wedding related things will go through me.”

Nyx walked over to me and whispered in my ear. “I like an illusion on our cake.” He stood back and waited for me to tell them. He hates feeling like he is disturbing anyone. It’s a good thing I  don’t care.

“I think illusion cakes are cool so put an order in for that.” I said although I had no idea what the fuck that was. He wanted it so we’ll get it.

Nyx whispered again. “The chairs have to be black, the tablecloths silver. They should put white flowers in black rectangular vases. All flowers should be white…tell them.”

I grabbed his hand and started walking around, inspecting the chairs. “I want black chairs, silver tablecloths that green is an abomination.” I said, glancing at Ashley who looked like she’d pop a vein. “All flowers should be white in black rectangular vases.” I glanced at Nyx. “How do you feel about white roses?”

Nyx nodded then whispered again. “They should add our flag.”

“I was doing some thinking and for our new nation, we should change the colors to separate ourselves from what Avalon and Balemont stood for. Our new colors will be silver and black. I’ve already talked with the flag maker and she will be making the flag for us.”

The shock on everyone was laughable. “Who decided this?” Ashley asked “The flag colors are supposed to represent both Avalon and Balemomt, not be washed away. Queen Amelia say something to your kid.”

“She’s right Liam. Our kingdoms colors have important historical meaning you cannot simply come in and change it because you felt like it.”

“No?” I asked to confirm. “Well as the future king it will change eventually so you can either accept it willingly now or be forced to accept it later.” I started walking towards Ashley. “If you have something to say to me-” Nyx pulled me back by my hand, causing me to rethink my words. “Count your days Ashley.”

“I think we should put everything in perspective. You are trusting us with both kingdoms and I think we should also be given a chance to make decisions on our own.” Nyx interrupted the cold air. I glared at Ashley daring her to say something. “We should start the rehearsals.” Nyx added.

“Yes I think you’re right.” I said still looking at Ashley. There’s no way in fuck I’m going to let her say something and make Nyx doubt his own opinion.

We went through the entire rehearsal, changing things that we didn’t like and making it our own. Our moms were not happy, especially Ashley, but in the end we got what we wanted.

Nyx and I walked out of the building hand in hand. “Baby are you hungry?” I asked. He had a small smile on his face which made me smile. Nyx hummed, his smile not disappearing at all. “Baby.” I turned to him and pulled him into a hug.

“We should have some pizza.” Nyx said, kind of lost in thought.

“Pizza?” I hummed. “Do you want to order it or sit at the pizza shop?”

“We should sit at the shop, I want some fresh air.”

“You did good today…you know standing up to your mom…I’m proud of you.” I didn’t really know if it was appropriate for me to say that since he said he was trying not to please people as much.

“Yeah…no. I still cracked but I am not disappointed in myself.” Nyx smiled. “I tried and that is a step too. Thank you for being there, I would have let them keep the decorations.”

I didn’t respond, only nodded. I didn’t know what to say. I will always be here for him and say the things he’s not able to. I want him to be comfortable at all times.

We drove to the pizza parlor and tried so many different kinds of pizza. I don’t really care for the plain cheese pizza but Nyx says it’s pretty good. I’m pretty sure he likes every pizza out there. I’m willing to try every single one with him.

The driver drove us to the fountain of Avalon and we got out the car and walked around. The sun was starting to set and we were hand in hand.

The silence between us was calm and peaceful that no word was needed for the moment to rise to one of the best.

“Do-” I cleared my throat, getting nervous all of a sudden. “Do you want to…throw a coin in the fountain?” I asked, my eyes glued to my feet.

“Alright but how do we do it?”

“Basically couples throw a coin in the fountain together to ensure love and happiness for a lifetime.”

“Can I use ten coins?” Nyx glanced at me. “Or is the rule just one?”

“Um…” I looked at the fountain. “I’m not entirely sure of the rules so I guess you can do ten.” I looked at him. “Why ten?”

“One for the first lifetime, two for a second up to ten lifetimes. I gotta ensure that when I reincarnate I meet you in each and every lifetime. One is not enough.”

I didn’t know what to say. I feel this warm feeling in my heart when he said he wanted to spend ten lifetimes with me. “Oh…” I looked at the fountain. “Ten…ten is good.”

“You’re not surviving me in each lifetime.” Nyx hugged from behind. “Even if I fail to make you fall for me in this lifetime, I will not fail in all ten.” He held out his palm. “I don’t have any coins.”

I think I’m already in love with him. We haven’t been intimate since we’ve been back together. This has brought us closer and we’ve been having more conversations. We still flirted and teased each other but this…I’m not sure how to explain it. It’s better than before. We communicate more.

“Ah yes let’s use my coins.” I rolled my eyes but grabbed coins out of my wallet anyway. I handed him twenty coins. “We’re supposed to kiss it and just toss it in. Some couples make a wish while doing it.”

He took ten coins. He kissed the first one. “I wish for Prince Liam of Balemont to be my lifetime in this life and the next.” He tossed the coin. He went on and with each coin, he would make a different wish but with the same result, I am his forever and ever. It made my heart beat faster than normal, hearing him wish for me to be his love in every life time.

I kissed a coin. I wish for Nyx to be my love in every life time. I tossed it in the fountain.

I kissed another. I wish for Nyx to be the person he has always wanted to be. I tossed it in. I kept kissing and tossing in coins making different wishes, all revolving around Nyx.

“Okay…kiss this one.” I kissed it. Nyx kissed it too then threw the last one into the fountain. He glanced back at me. “Do you think I did the same thing in my past life?”

I hummed. “Possibly. Do you feel drawn to me?” I asked.

“I don’t know…all I know is if I did then I managed to meet you again and this couldn’t have made me more than happy.” Nyx hugged me once again, his eyes still on the fountain. “My question is did I have the same life and family or not? Was I poor and you were rich? We’re you a dick head or was I? Was I a people pleaser or selfish? Now I am curious.”

I pulled him in closer. “I think you were yourself.” I said, looking at the fountain. “Maybe you were the person you’re trying to be now, Nyx Lada.”

“Do I win?” Nyx whispered more to himself. He didn’t want to question himself but he also couldn’t help himself but worry. I know he is scared to let me down and no matter how many times I tell him that he couldn’t let me down, he can’t seem to shake those thoughts. I also know he’s more scared to let himself down.

“You always win.”

Nyx smiled while pecking my neck. “I will, I know I will.” He leaned his chin on my shoulder. “I have you, I won.”

“Nyx.” I turned to him with a serious expression on my face. I looked at him for a second. My heart felt like it would burst out of my chest at any second. “I love you.”

Nyx stepped back, his eyes mistful. He looked straight into my eyes and saw the truth in them. He ended up crying while sitting back down unable to stay on his legs. I looked at him confused.

“Liam.” He cried unable to say a thing. He stood up once again and hugged me tightly. It was then I realized that he cried not with sadness but with happiness. “You don’t know how happy you’ve made me.” Nyx wept, unable to control it. “I didn’t think you would love me now, when I am still a mess. Thank you, for seeing me even if I am still like this. Thank you.”

I hugged him back, feeling myself tear up as well. “I love you.” I repeated.

“I love you so much. So much.” He said into my neck.

I pulled him into a kiss. This kiss was different from the others. It was full of love and happiness. It was emotional. It was soft. It was everything and more.

Nyx held me and held the kiss, we felt closer to each other now. As if in he was still in disbelief, he pulled back and laughed while cleaning his face. Without any words to say, he kissed me again. This time deeper, blocking out everything but the fact that we are in love with each other.

Dear diary,

I have never been happier. With only one week until our wedding, I’ve told Nyx that I love him. I meant every word. I love every part of him. Even the part of him that finds it hard to stand up for himself. I love the part of him that tries to be better. And the part of him that loves me. I love all of him.

Chapter 44

Nyx pov:

Finally. Our wedding day has arrived, only a few hours before I get to walk down the aisle. Three months ago I would have dreaded this moment but now I am the happiest man alive because I am going to get married to the man I fell in love with.

I am so nervous but also happy. Most people have a best man but I don’t have one. Just my valet who only says little to nothing, good thing I am going to marry my best friend. Life is going to be the best and I can’t wait to tie the knot with him today.

I was still staring at myself in the mirror, fixing my black suit when both Mom and Dad walked in. “Finally the day has come.” Dad sighed as he walked close to me patting my back. “Great job.” I wasn’t even fazed with his praise, all I wanted to do was go and meet my man.

I walked away from them and pushed my leg into my black well-polished designer shoes. I walked back into the mirror, ignoring them. I don’t know if it didn’t hurt because I am over it or because I am so happy to care. I am still baffled by the two. My valet walked in and said. “Your Royal Highness, it’s time.” My heart started pounding so hard I had to hold my chest to calm myself.

“I’m so nervous.” I thought out loud while wiggling my fingers trying to calm my pulse down. This was nerve-wracking. How could I be so happy but nervous? Was he nervous?

“Why are you nervous? You seem to be getting along with him.” I glanced at her and decided to ignore her. No ruining my day even if I was the only one excited about it in my family. “You took his side and embarrassed me, and until now you haven’t apologized.”

Ignore. I smiled passing her. “Dad it’s time.” I walked ahead of them until I reached the venue. Everyone was seated and as soon as people took a glimpse of me the room quieted down and a slow piano started followed by a violin playing one of Liam’s favorite songs. He wanted to walk down the aisle to it.

I glanced at his side, where he was supposed to be standing but I could not get a glimpse of him. Dad came to my side. “Welcome Prince Nyx Lada of Balemont and Prince Liam De Conto of Avalon. The two future Kings of the United nation, Avalont.” I took in a deep breath before taking a step forward, my eyes were at Liam’s side and as soon as he came out I couldn’t help but smile.

He looked so hot. I bit my bottom lip, trying to stop the ridiculous smile that was making its way to my lips. I made a heart sign with my hands next to my heart.

Liam smiled before throwing one back at his chest. There were a million people here to witness our marriage because with this marriage is to come bigger and greater things yet here I am smitten with the other King unable to focus on any of the people around.

I love him. Just the thought makes me more in love with him. The aisle was like ten minutes long. That is how big the place is and as soon as we reached the front I wanted to hug Liam but there were a few traditions to do before that.

My dad gave me his blessing after we knelt in front of the Pope. He blessed us with holy water, gave a prayer we were allowed to get off of the soft cushions that were placed below our knees. We finally got up and we stood face-to-face with each other. We didn’t say a word as the Pope was still speaking and the only thing we could do was smile.

A black and silver ribbon was placed on my wrist, Liam got his two then they tied both of our left hands to each other. I took that chance to squeeze Liam’s hand, “Are you prepared as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?”

“I am.” We both said at the same time, my face was heating up a bit.

“Since its your intention to enter the covenant of Holy matrimony. Join your hands and declare you’re cognate before god.”

The priest held out the script for us as we held our right hand to our chests. “In the name of God, I Liam De Conto take you, Nyx Lada to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.” I smiled.

It was my turn, I glanced at the script and repeated. “In the name of God, I Nyx Lada take you, Liam De Conto to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.”

The Pope took away the script as our rings were brought in, the ones we chose for ourselves. We made sure to take control of the wedding in the past week and almost everything was decided by us.

I took out two paper stars from my suit. I handed him the blue one with a sad face. “That is how you met me, sad and lost and lonely. I didn’t know my place, always silently following with each step I took.” I took out the yellow one and handed it to him. It had a happy face. “That is how I have felt with every minute of knowing you. I feel even happier with each second that passes when I am with you. I love you.”

“Prince Liam De Conto, I love you for everything you are and stand for. You’re like the opposite of me yet so far…no matter what hits you you never let anything deem you’re light. You encouraged me and made me want to become someone more, someone greater. You’re always forgiving but most of all so kind and loving and…knowing you, the real you has been a gift. I can’t thank you enough for. I know our kingdom will soon realize what a wonderful brother, father, role model and most importantly a wonder full King your gonna make.” I slid the ring onto his finger. “You will be the light of Avalont and I know as long as I am with you, I will always have my never deeming light with me.”

I took in a deep breath as the Pope told him to start his vows. “As cliché as it sounds, you are my best friend. You’re the first person I want to talk to when I’m happy and the only person I want to talk to when I’m sad. You’re the first person I want to see when I wake up and the last person I want to see when I go to sleep. I know we came together in the most unexpected way but I couldn’t imagine my life without you. You might not know it, but you’ve made me a better person. You’ve made me better to myself, and better to others….in a way I still couldn’t give a fuck what they think of me but I’m nicer? I think. Um.” He paused, staring into my eyes.

“I’m not really good at this wedding shit but when I see you I want to say cheesy shit like you make me feel like the luckiest person in the world and you’re so cute when you smile, which are both true statements…but still.” He cleared his throat. “Who knew that love could bring so much happiness?” He said with a laugh that made me smile. “If I said everything I want to right now, we’d be up here for weeks. There’s no better feeling than waking up and knowing you’re right beside me.  I can’t promise you everything but I can promise to be by your side, forever and always, no matter what.  I love you and I’m really excited to spend the rest of my life with you.”

The entire building was all silent, not a single movement could be heard yet the two of us just couldn’t take our eyes off of each other. Liam slid his ring onto my finger too before the Pope announced we were married. “I now pronounce you husband and husband…You may kiss the groom.” I smile getting close to Liam.

“We never practiced the kiss.” I whispered but I bet everyone could hear with all the microphones around us. Every single moment between us was being seen by the entire nation and beyond.

“This kiss cannot be like our…practice one.” He said, likely recalling the dry humping that followed soon after that kiss. “I mean how hard can it be? No tongue right?”

I laughed a bit before leaning in with my hands behind my back just to keep myself polite. Kids were watching this and I know they will bleep Liam out with all the cursing he did. I wanted the kiss to be aired. This was the beginning of two nations, this was our first kiss as a married couple but also the beginning of our journey as Kings.

Liam’s hand moved to my cheek as we attached our lips in a tiny sweet kiss. The tingling feeling increased because this was now my husband, he was mine from now on and forever.

I gasped when Liam’s tongue pushed past my lips. ‘He is breaking the rules.’ I almost laughed but ended up kissing back. The kiss kept sweet and not heated before we both pulled back. “You’re going to be king, don’t start with breaking the rules.” I teased but kept my face serious.

“Rules are meant to be broken. Fuck I can’t say that on national tv somebody might think that applies to laws and shit. I may have gotten carried away. I mean if you could kiss you you’d understand.” He rolled his eyes playfully.

I had to hide my face laughing and before I knew it everyone was almost laughing. “Don’t listen to him, sometimes even Kings are wrong.” I tried to clean up his mess. “Rules are good, let’s follow them as we enter the new nation.”

“Fuck I forgot about the mics. Shit I should stop cursing.” He cleared his throat. “Yes rules are great and…fun? Yeah, I can’t lie like that rules are not fun but fuck me if we don’t need them. They’re like…important and shit.”

“We should start with you not cursing every two seconds.” I glanced at the Pope. “Please take away his mic, the kid’s nation doesn’t need their ears destroyed.” I had never heard someone curse so much until I met him. I considered it vulgar but now I don’t mind however since we are on live TV I need to be professional even if I know he doesn’t care about it.

We will complement each other like that, that is why we are going to lead this nation to greatness.

Dear Diary

I am a married and happy man. Liam is my best friend and the best thing to ever happen to me. I thought I would be sad on my wedding day…funny how times have changed and I am so in love with the person my parents chose for me.

They’ve been wrong in so many things but they were right when they chose him, guess I have to thank them for life.

Chapter 45

Liam pov:

Everything was exactly how we wanted it. There wasn’t a speck of green in sight. I’m actually surprised Ashley didn’t wear a green dress just to spite me.

I’m fucking married to Nyx! I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life. In two weeks we will become official Kings and rule our new nation together.

I grabbed Nyx’s hand as the song, “Heartbeat” by Carrie Underwood started to play. I led him to the middle of the dance floor. I stood there for a second, looking at him. “Um…was I supposed to…” I wasn’t exactly sure if I was supposed to lead or not.

“Please do.” Nyx smiled. “Just know I had classes but I will let you.”

“I had classes but I wasn’t really…yeah.” I put my hands on his waist and we danced along to the song I chose. This song reminded me of Nyx and when I heard it I knew that this would be our wedding song. “Dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat.” I sang along softly, pulling Nyx in closer.

Nyx rested his head on my shoulder the song pulling him in that he got caught up in the moment. Each word, each phrase was everything that he pulled me even closer.

We spent the entire song dancing, pulling each other as close as possible and singing the lyrics to each other. The song ended and I didn’t want to pull away. Shivers by Ed Sheeran played, startling Nyx a bit and I laughed and stepped back with his hand in mine. I spun him around then pulled him closer. This dance was nothing like the last one. We didn’t slow dance nor did we ballroom dance. We were just being silly together and dancing how we wanted to.

I spun Nyx around until his back was against my chest. The song was over and all I wanted was to sit here and hold him all night. “I love you so much.” I whispered in his ear as another song started to play and the guests started to make their way to the dance floor.

He hummed “I love you more.” Nyx leaned his head back in comfort. Just being here with each other, experiencing this was like a dream come true in so many ways.

“I don’t think that’s possible baby.” I kissed his shoulder. I love him so much I don’t know how to express it half the time. I just want to be near him all the time. Annoy him until our dying breath. I want forever and more with him.

“I think it’s possible if I keep falling for you every second.” Nyx closed his eyes, savoring the moment. Our whispered conversation drowned out everything else. The moment felt like we were alone, yet we were in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by thousands of people.

“And if I keep falling for you every half second?”

“Then it makes me feel better because then we get to last for a long time.” That is what he wanted. Forever.

“We’re lasting forever and more.”

“That is what I want to hear.” Nyx turned around and pecked my lips. “When do we get out of here, I want to have you tonight. All Night, every second…no rest.”

“Fucking hell.” I muttered, trying not to think of the activities we were going to do tonight. I grabbed his hand and led him outside to the balcony. “Five minutes?” I asked but before he could respond I started talking again. “I know we’re not exactly supposed to leave our wedding, but I wanted actual privacy, even if it’s just for five minutes.”

Nyx followed, I know he wanted privacy too. He looked at me like he wanted to bite me. Like he could devour me right here and now.

“You’re drooling baby.”

“Truthfully, I’m horny and you look so good.” He stepped closer.

I looked back at the party. “We have five minutes until they realize we’re gone.” I said before attaching our lips.

Nyx pushed me back. “Five minutes?” He said like it wasn’t going to work. We had to leave around midnight for our honey moon. He pulled me back inside the reception. He clicked the glass gaining everyone’s attention. “Good evening, I hope everyone is having a nice time and thank you for showing up on this special day to not only us, but the entire nation. We appreciate the love you have shown but unfortunately, My Prince is not feeling very well and would like to retire for the night.” Nyx glanced at me. “And since I am his husband as of today I have to be there and take care of him until he is ready to face the night. Thank you for your understanding and please keep enjoying.”

“Baby-” I said but he started dragging me out of the reception. “We haven’t even cut the cake or anything.” I tried getting through to a very horny Nyx but from past experiences I know that’s damn near impossible. I’m really craving cake right now and that vanilla and chocolate cake sounds amazing. Knowing Nyx he’s going to suggest we get Lenon to pack it up and bring it over.

We somehow made it the entire car ride back to the palace without jumping on each other. A lot of kissing and touching but we didn’t exit the car naked so that’s something. I let him drag me up the stairs, his horniness completely taking over.

Nyx took me into our bedroom and locked the door behind us before pulling off his coat then his shirt. He pulled me in. His kisses started out aggressive, his horniness pushing through with each pull and push of our bodies. His hands pulled out my belt, loosening my pants. He slipped his hands inside, grabbing my butt.

“I’m I being too fast…how do you want us to go?” He pulled back for a second retracting his hands with a big exhale, trying to control his horniness. “You should lead and take it to the pace you’re into right now.” He might have realized that when he’s horny, he’s not very good at holding himself back.

I pulled him in by his belt loop. “I want whatever you’re willing to give me.” I kissed his neck. “I want all of you. Top. Bottom. Doesn’t matter. I want you.”

Nyx stepped, held me, and brought his lips to mine in one movement. The kiss slowed as he finally undid my pants throwing them down. I stepped out of them while we stepped back and landed on the bed with Nyx between my legs.

He kissed me to his heart’s content which still seemed endless. Nyx explored every inch of my mouth, every nook but still couldn’t get enough. Kissing him was so intoxicating, so sweet. It pulled me in wanting more and more with each passing second.

He pulled back after a kiss that took more than six minutes but felt like two seconds. Nyx pulled out the lube while watching me. I was breathing heavily with wet swollen lips, watching his every move.

After getting a hold of lube Nyx got off the bed and knelt on the floor while pulling me to the edge. I let out an embarrassing yelp at his unexpected movements. He slowly took off my boxers while kissing and licking my inner thigh.

I shuddered as my underwear completely left my body. Nyx kissed next to my dick, his hand slowly pumping my hard leaking dick.

With Nyx’s fingers trialing my abs and thighs, I was breathing heavily, my dick pulsing as Nyx’s tempting lips kissed closer and closer to both my balls and dick. I wanted nothing more than to have his lips wrapped around my dick.

Nyx finally licked my slit causing me to hold onto his hair but he held my hand. “Hands up.” He ordered. I did as instructed and removed my hands, letting him go at his own insanely slow pace.

Nyx brought his lips around the  tip and he started swiping his tongue all around it…in a circular motion, up and down then sideways. I wanted this in ways I couldn’t explain.

He pulled back while slowly pumping my twitching dick. His lips finally came back and this time he took an inch of my dick into his mouth and I felt like I could cum on the spot. He did the same thing while going down a bit more.

He pulled back then took me into his mouth again, this time bobbing his head up and down my dick. He still didn’t take in all of it just a few inches, his hand pumping the rest.

Both his mouth and his hand matched his rhythm as his tongue swiped all around my dick. He moaned, causing me to shiver.

His lips moved onto my balls taking one into his mouth sucking on it then doing the same onto the other before going back onto my dick taking a bit more then bobbing up and down faster. I was a moaning panting mess now. He was attentive to every single part of me, not leaving anything untouched.

He almost took too much and choked but that made me moan even louder. He pulled back with a rasp laugh. “I don’t know about my throating technique but I will try for you.” I didn’t respond but my dick grew harder at his comment.

This was his first time. I remember him saying he was a quick and visual learner, which I can definitely see. He was doing better than anyone ever has, especially for his first time. Not everyone could deep throat though, that isn’t something someone could learn in a day and he was bound to choke. “Do you mind choking sounds?”

“No keep going.” I gasped. It turned me on even more that he was willing to try something like this for me.

Nyx took in a deep breath but didn’t take my dick all the way. He took a few inches and as he took more and it reached the back of his throat. His throat contracted from the intrusion.

I could feel him about to pull back but I moaned louder and that made him hold a bit longer before finally pulling back.

He took the lube spreading a good amount on his fingers and onto my hole. He pushed one finger in and I bit my lip at the intrusion, his other hand kept on pumping me until he had two fingers inside of me.

He fixed himself and started moving his fingers inside me then moved his lips back onto my dick, pleasuring me in two ways. I moaned and my back arched as he brushed past my spot. He constantly kept on hitting it and rubbing it while his lips moved up and down occasionally deep-throating me.

My hands went back into his hair, they didn’t push him or anything. I just wanted to run my fingers through his hair, a nonverbal gesture that he was doing fucking amazing. He continued on until I was shaking and became a moaning mess, my grip tightening around Nyx’s hair.

I was so focused on the pleasure Nyx was providing that I didn’t even realize when I came. Everything felt so fucking amazing I came without warning. He wasn’t ready for that and pulled back in a coughing fit. The cum shot straight down his throat, causing him to cough so hard that he held onto the ground.

“No….warning-” he said between coughs.

“I’m sorry baby.” I gasped. “Fuck that was amazing.” I said, feeling like I was on cloud nine. I looked at him and my eyes widened. “Are you okay?” I said, feeling the panic take over the euphoria I felt a second ago.

“I guess I should take credit that I made you cum without realizing it but damn.” Nyx held his throat. “I’m still a learner, that should not be forgotten.” I definitely forgot. He was doing so fucking good that you couldn’t even tell this was his first time giving a blowjob.

I pulled him on top of me. “I’m sorry baby.” I kissed his chest, simultaneously undoing his pants. “What can I do to make you forgive me?” I sucked on his skin, making a hickey.

Nyx pecked my neck. “I want you inside of me.”

My dick was hard damn near instantly. “Baby…” I pulled back and looked at him. “How do you feel about riding me?” I had a wet dream about him riding me last night and fuck do I want to make it a reality. Right now if possible.

“Prep me.” Nyx licked on my neck, creating a hickey before taking on another spot. “Then take me.”

I pulled him off of me for a second to rip off his pants and boxers before pulling him back onto my lap. I grabbed the lube and put some on my fingers before lining it up with his hole. I licked his skin. I wanted to bite him, not hard enough to leave a mark just like a really soft bite. Taking his flesh in between my teeth but not actually applying pressure. Pain is not his thing, which is completely acceptable. I started sucking on his skin as I pushed a finger in.

“You taste good.” I commented, finding another spot to suck on. It’d be seen as some weird cannibalism shit if I had said that to anyone else but I feel like Nyx understands seeing as he licks and bites on me any chance he gets.

“Mm…mmh.” Nyx hummed while holding onto me. “I want you so bad now but I will regret it.”

I inserted a second finger. I brushed past his prostate causing him to shiver and moan in my ear. I pushed them in deeper before pulling back out. With every thrust I was hitting his spot. I entered a third finger and started getting rougher with my thrusts. “Tell me if I’m being too rough.” I said, speeding up, hitting his spot just right because his back arched and he bit my neck to suppress a moan.

“That’s fine…uhh! That’s fine… stretch me.” Nyx moaned, leaning his head on my chest and pressing his ass on to my fingers.

I did exactly that, I stretched him out, hitting his prostate every time. His moans became too much and I was holding on to all rationality by a thread. “Baby.” I used my other hand to stroke my dick. “Please tell me you’re ready.” I practically begged.

“I am, push into me right now.” Nyx was shaking with sheer need, his frustration building up as well.

I took my fingers out of him damn near instantly. I applied lube to my dick before lining up with his hole. I wasn’t sure how slow I should go. We’ve done this before so do I have to go faster than that? I looked at him, biting my lip trying to figure out what to do. I don’t want to hurt him but I also want him wrapped around me as fast as possible.

“Don’t worry.” Nyx hugged me like he knew it had to hurt but that pain would disappear anyway.

I shook my head. “Can you do it?” He has his fears of having a repeat of our date and I have my fears of doing more than he can handle. I’d feel better if we went at his pace right now.

Nyx shook his head with a smile, taking my dick in his hand and directing it to his hole. “I don’t know if I should love you more or laugh at your inability to do this.” He definitely loved me more and there was no question, he just felt like teasing me. He sat down and immediately his hole stretched causing pain yet I probably looked like I was the one in pain. The way he squeezed around me so tightly made me feel breathless.

He took little by little. He leaned down and captured my lips. “I love you.” He whispered while pushing himself lower.

“I love you too.” I held his waist to steady him but didn’t apply any pressure. I didn’t want to force him onto it.

“I love you so much.” Nyx leaned back, my dick was not fully in but from the looks of it I was going to have to work with that. He moved his hips in circles getting me the friction I needed yet hitting his spot at the same time. The pleasure made him forget about the pain as he fully sat all the way down. He groaned loudly while throwing his head back in complete pleasure.

He started moving up and down with his head back and eyes closed. “Uhh…uhh…fuck.” Nyx ground his hips, pleasure taking over. The feeling of being filled made him moan loudly, his legs tightening around my hips.

My hold on his hips brought him back to the real world making him open his eyes the pleasure increasing ten more times, that face was the cause. We loved each other so much that just looking at each other was enough to increase the pleasure. “In your wet dream, was it like this, or is this better?” Nyx started bouncing up making me grunt while biting my lip.

I gripped his thighs. “So much better. How’d you know about the dream though?” I gasped. Yes he was sleeping right next to me but I thought I’d been subtle with hiding the wet spot in my briefs this morning.

“Nyx like that! Ride me!” Nyx mocked my voice with a smile. “Not a silent wet dreamer at all.” He said, still riding me.

“Babyyyy.” I whined. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” I felt embarrassed that I was having a wet dream like a teenager.

“Aww I didn’t want you to be embarrassed.” Nyx leaned down and pecked me lightly.

“The dream was better.” I lied. Nyx is a fucking dream. Everything about him is perfect.

Nyx slapped me on the arm while stopping his movement. “Take that back.” He smiled but pushed his hands into my shoulders pinning me to the bed. “I don’t want to be evil to you.” He shook his head. “I know you’re lying, I am better.”

“Am I?” I asked. I wanted to see what evil Nyx looked like. “Wet dream Nyx did this thing with his hips that…” I trailed off, biting my lower lip to taunt him.

“Now you’re pushing it.” Nyx smiled but it wasn’t the happy one. He leaned down and kissed me on the mouth roughly I hummed at the force of the kiss. His finger roughly pulling at my cheek while nibbling my lower lip. His was nibbling so lightly it was almost as if he was fighting everything in him to not bite me.

I hummed. I liked this aggressiveness. It made me want to taunt him even more. “Is that what you call evil?” I asked curiously.

Nyx leaned back up. “Or you’re trying to rile me up.” Nyx finally caught on. “You don’t need that, just tell me what you want and I will give it to you.”

That’s the problem. I’m not exactly sure what I want. I want him to be aggressive yet passionate. I grabbed his hips and slowly pushed him down to the base of my cock. “Show me your aggressive side baby.” I muttered, lightly nipping at his jawline.

Nyx tightened around me while grinding his hips at a slow pace, causing me to groan. “Yogurt is our safe word right?” I nodded. “Use it or tap my thigh if you want to stop.”

“Yes sir.” I said, watching him, waiting on what he was going to do.

Nyx pushed himself off of my dick and laid his entire weight onto me. “And next time don’t try to rile me up, if you want me to be aggressive just ask. You’re my baby and I want to give you everything and more.” Doing something like this when he is angry might lead to danger. “It’s our wedding night and I want us to leave this bed when you are 100 percent satisfied.”

Nyx started pumping me slowly then tightened his grip squeezing my dick. “Talk to me baby, too soft or too hard?”

“Soft.” I still want him to ride me before the night is over.

Nyx tightened his grip more while his lips moved to my nipples, biting on them. He licked and swiped his lips over the now-bruised nipple before moving to the other, My shivering body got me wanting release once again.

He climbed on top of me before sitting back down and started riding me again. His hands moved onto my neck while the other slapped me hard across the cheek. To say I was shocked would be an understatement I wasn’t expecting to get slapped at all.

He threw his head back and his hands around my neck while pushing them us to the edge. “Uhh!” With each moan his grip tightened around my neck. “Ahh fuck!” He slapped me again before holding my hair pulling me up.

I leaned on his hands with a smile watching Nyx bounce on and off my dick. He pulled me up and roughly kissed me again while getting closer and closer.

Nyx wrapped his hands around me, moving faster. “Ah fuck…fuck!” He trembled, his climax getting closer. “Cum with me…Cum with me!”

I tightened my grip in his hair. “Nyx!” I moaned, feeling myself getting closer and closer to my release.

Nyx held me tightly before his release finally hit, I came not long after. We both breathe heavily without moving from position our bodies slowly getting down from their high.

Nyx leaned back and took in my red face. “Are you okay? I didn’t go too far did I?”

I pulled him closer. “No it was perfect.” I gasped. “I didn’t know I was into slapping.”

“Shit…any discomfort…like bad ones?”

“If it was I would’ve said our safe word…yogurt.” I rolled my eyes just thinking about that safe word.

“I love you.” Nyx pushed himself into me and inspected my body. He got off my dick but stayed on top of me, now calmer that he had confirmed he didn’t do much damage. “I bet it’s almost time for our honeymoon but I wanna stay here.” He gave my chest little pecks. “I can’t believe you’re my husband. Doesn’t feel it like we rushed this marriage thing?” Nyx teased. He knew we had no say in the marriage. “We should have waited a couple of years.”

“Yeah…I wish we could’ve went at our own pace with our relationship, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re like vanilla.” I love everything vanilla. Candles, food, shampoo. If it has vanilla I love it. He is my vanilla.

“Yes, yes, yes you smell vanilla!” Nyx pulled the sheet over our bodies. “I knew you were lying when you said you use lavender…you don’t smell like lavender. Why did you lie to me?”

“My love for vanilla is embarrassing.”

“No need for embarrassment. Now I know things you like the most. Vanilla, yogurt, anything unhealthy and me.”

“Oh god.” I muttered. “Yogurt is…okay.

“Okay…just okay. You said you love it”

“I meant I love you.”

“No, you said you love…” Nyx sat back leaning off of my body. “It’s impossible Liam stop messing around, that was weeks ago… like two months ago. You told me you love me a week ago.”

I sighed, sitting up. “At the end of the FaceTime call I was going to tell you I loved you. I chickened out and said I love yogurt.” I said, embarrassed.

Nyx tried to hold in his laughter but couldn’t. He fell off me, lying on his back still dying laughing. “All this time I thought…this is the best wedding gift.” Nyx leaned in and kissed my temple before getting off the bed, still laughing.

He was about to enter the bathroom before he stopped glancing back at me. “What else don’t you like that you tried to cover up?”

I hummed. “I think that’s it.”

“What about Lavender Dove soap?”

“Oh. I also meant love. I’m not really a fan of lavender. Though Dove is a good brand.”

“Yogurt and Dove should be your safe words.” Nyx teased laughing, while disappearing into the bathroom before peeking his head out. “Come we shower.”

“You’re not funny.” I sighed but got up to follow him into the bathroom.

Dear diary,

Nyx Lada of Balemont is officially my husband. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. I honestly can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him. In two weeks we will be ruling Avalont together as Kings. First time leading a nation…kinda nervous.

Chapter 46

Nyx pov:

I sat back after taking a bite of my buttery pancake, my eyes were on the blue sea that was staring directly at us. So blue and beautiful with all kinds of boats. “I remember our first beach experience.” He suddenly kissed me and I didn’t know how to act the next day. So embarrassing but now that I think about it it’s true he liked me first.

I was too blind to see it then. If he hadn’t taken a step I don’t think I would have done it or even thought of it. Maybe I would have liked him silently. All I know is it was never love at first sight but I am so glad he was brave enough to take a step. We would have missed something this beautiful in our lives.

“God.” He muttered, taking a bite of his hash browns. It’s like the only thing he seems to want to eat nowadays. “I can’t believe I actually kissed you that night.”

“Very brave of you to think I was interested.” I teased even if I kissed back that night, I did because I hate leaving people hanging and I tend to want to please them.

“Well, you did kiss me back.”

“Because I people please a lot, if I left you hanging I would have died inside.” I explained myself “However I appreciate you doing so, you showed me that I can find love somewhere.”

“Ah yes thank you for the pity kiss that you seemed to enjoy so much.” He rolled his eyes playfully. “Though, I have to say it was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had.”

“From pity kiss to love kiss, such an improvement.” I laughed finishing my breakfast, I had not had any healthy food for weeks and I had noticed how my belly was starting to come out. “I need to start working out again, I am getting out of shape.”

“We can do it together…before the stupid King duties.”

“Mmh hmm.” I hummed wiping my hands. “For now, I need a speed boat. We gotta enjoy this wonderful weather and sea.”

“Oh…like…go out there. In the water?”

“Yeah…and ride boats.” I have had classes for swimming but I rarely do it. On my honeymoon, I am going to swim to my heart’s content.

He hummed, grabbing my hand. “As long as these boats have a full tank of gas and we don’t go too far out. I may or may not have a fear of being stranded in the middle of the fucking ocean.”

“That wouldn’t be nice but I know if it happens we would be rescued in a hour tops.” We are almost Kings, we are the most important people in the two nations of course there would be the biggest search parties. “Let’s go see who is the fastest.” We walked out of the restaurant and to the beach. We got helped into our life jackets, I took a seat on my speed boat while glancing a Liam. “Ready?”

“Wait.” He got off of his speedboat and kissed me. “What are the stakes?” He asked, kissing my neck.

“You want to put something at stake?” I had not thought of that, but it will make the competition even better. “What do you want?”

“Right this second? Hash browns but I want you to fuck me. Preferably before the coronation.”

“Liam.” I sighed while looking at the sea with my hand on my head. “I don’t need to bet on sex, of course, I will fuck you.” I pulled him closer to me. “How about the loser gets to do one thing the other doesn’t wanna do?”

“It’s so much more fun if I win it.” He said, showing his competitive side. “But…that’s not a bad idea either.”

“Alright then, let’s go.” I waited for him to get back on his. At the count of three, we were off and I think I underestimated how good he is on that thing. I stood up on mine while increasing the speed catching up to him, I had a feeling he was going to win and to hell I lose like this.

I made a risky move. I let go of my boat and jumped onto his sending us both into the water.

“Nyx!” He yelled out of pure shock.

I swam away after seeing the look he was giving me. I wasn’t about to meet that wrath but I was also not prepared to lose like an amateur. “Catch me if you can!” I yelled back.

“Fuck!” He started swimming towards me. “Who suggested life jackets?!”

I swam faster than I thought I was capable of. I saw Liam struggling with his jacket, I took mine off before diving under and swimming towards him.

When I reached I hugged his legs. “Holy shit!” He tried to swim away in panic and if I wasn’t in the water I would be laughing my ass off.

I touched his dick before coming back up and hugging him from behind. “Hello. Miss me?”

“Baby if you’re trying to fuck in the middle of the ocean I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Fucking is not only physical, if I fuck with your mind it is considered fucking.” I pecked his lips before diving back in, touching his butt and squeezing it before swimming away.

“Nyx!” He ditched the life jacket and was swimming faster now. I had not realized that Liam had ditched his jacket until he caught up to me. I yelled when his hands touched my body in shock.

“Baby.” He kissed my neck. “You cheated. And we lost our boats.”

“You were going to win.” I held him closer before giving him a big kiss. This moment of relaxation is why I am here, the fun time is good but holding or kissing him like this always makes this better. I wrapped my legs around his torso and he instantly held onto my ass.

I deepened the kiss, my tongue tasting him even more and when I couldn’t breathe I pulled back but hugged him. “Uhh, it’s a moment like these that make me feel like I fuckin love you so much.”

“I fucking love you too, baby. And I was serious when I said it turns me on when you curse.” He said, pressing me down on his hardening dick.

“Liam!” I screamed jumping back into the water. “There is no way we are getting naughty on the beach!” Even if we have like two people here I still can’t do something like that no matter how tempted I am.

“Yes we are.” He said, despite the fact that he absolutely hates sand, which means he hates the beach.

I laughed, swimming away from him. “You are not going to catch me.”

“Baby I’m hard I can’t swim that fucking fast.” He caught me before I could get far enough and jumped on my back.

“Before you do anything first think about other people who are gonna want to swim in here.”

“Yes yes I was planning on getting to shore first.” His erection was pressing into my back. “Now swim your highness, because somebody’s getting fucked on this beach.” He paused. “Unless we can make it to our room…then I’ll reconsider.”

I laughed trying to fight out of his hands but he was strong. Is a horny person always strong or I am not fighting hard enough? “Are we really going to do it here?” He was pulling me to the shore faster than I could comprehend. This beach is not empty, we have two people and they might see us.

“Now that is entirely up to you.” It’s a two-minute walk from the beach to our room so I’m sure that’s the main reason he let me decide.

“Let’s go back to the room.” The last thing I need is sand in my hair. I wanted to enjoy the water a little more but I knew after our honeymoon we would barely get any time for us.

“Thank god. My horny mind says sex on the beach is amazing but my sane mind fucking hates sand. Do you know that shit gets everywhere? Then you’re finding sand for fucking weeks after.” He sighed as we got out of the water.

I glanced at the sea, I will miss it but priorities come first. We don’t have many days left here.

Dear Diary,

Sex plus Liam equals honeymoon.

Chapter 47

Liam pov:

I did a once over in the mirror. I straightened my tie. Before I could grab my suit jacket I looked over at Nyx. He wore the same designer suit as me and was just now fixing his tie.

I walked over to him and tied his tie for him. He watched me with a small smile on his face. As I tightened his tie I kissed him on the lips. What was meant to be a small peck ended in a full on make out session.

I broke the kiss and started kissing along his jawline before making my way down to his Adam’s apple. I sucked on it, leaving a very noticeable hickey before going back to his jawline. I left a trail of kisses all the way to his mouth. I kissed him again and once he moaned into my mouth I pulled back.

Nyx chased after my lips, pulling me back into a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer. I grabbed a handful of his ass before pulling back. “I love you so fucking much.” I said breathlessly.

Nyx laughed. “And I too.” He didn’t announce it all as he tucked in his shirt.

“Can we skip the dinner and just stay inside and do stupid things?” I asked although I knew the answer.

“I would but we’ve been doing stupid things since yesterday plus you suggested the date.”

“I did?” Well fuck me.

I grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room. We went to the garden where I helped set up everything. I did it while Nyx was asleep and I can’t wait for his reaction when he sees it.

There were candles, making a path all the way to the dinner table. Rose petals were on the ground. I squeezed Nyx’s hand slightly as we walked through the path.

The table was on a balcony where we had a beautiful view of the island. I opted not to have music because classical music seems like the kind of music a date like this would have, but I fucking hate classical. I pulled Nyx’s chair out for him then sat on the opposite side of him. “Do you like classical music?” I asked as the waiters brought out food.

“This is beautiful.” He smiled taking everything in. “No, the silence is nice and the view…thank you.”

I looked at him. “You’re beautiful.” More beautiful than any view, any sunset, any person. Everything about him is just beautiful.

He blushed but kept eye contact, giving me a sweet look. “These moments…I will cherish them forever. You’re amazing and the best man. I’m glad to be the one receiving such attention and love.”

I wanted to go over there and hug him and never let go. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life. No. I know I’ve never been happier in my life. “You complete me.”

I stood up and grabbed his hand. We slow danced to absolutely nothing but the rhythm of each other’s heartbeat. You could hear as the waves from  the ocean crashed into each other. “I can’t imagine my life without you…you know?” I continued to dance, focusing more on the sound of his breathing rather than the waves. “It’s….you’re perfect.”

“I’m not, I have never been and I will never be and-” he pulled back holding my face. “I don’t want to be and I know you don’t want me to reach standards that you know I can’t reach. I want us to be…Kings, husbands, fathers, and most especially best friends. I wish happiness for us, not perfection.”

I didn’t want to comment on it because it was something he was hell bent on and I’m proud of him. In my eyes he has been perfect, for a very long time. I will not express how or why I think he’s perfect so I don’t risk fucking up the process he has made to better himself. He is perfect…for me. “You will always be my best friend….you’re actually my first friend…did you know that? Is that possible to be my best friend still?” I paused, thinking about it.

“You are mine…my mom was but we both know that was conditional.” He lightly chuckled. “It was a lonely life.” He pretended to be fixing my shirt while struggling to hold his tears back. “It has not been an easy life for the both of us and it’s…I can’t explain how happy I am that we met and we are here now. If you didn’t fight for us I would have given up and let go of us…thank you.” His tears streamed down as he hugged me. “I didn’t want to get emotional but thank you for fighting for us.”

“Thank you for being you.” I rubbed his back and ran my fingers through his hair. Was I messing it up in the process? Absolutely. “I want hash browns.” I mumbled, but it was more of an out loud thought.

“Always.” He laughed while wiping his tears. He pulled my chair, resting it next to his. “Let’s sit close and enjoy the view.”

“You don’t want to see what food I picked out?” I sat next to him, grabbing his hand.

“I want to but I also want to see you, the view, the decorations.” He sighed. “Makes me wish I had six eyes. “

“Eyes aren’t expensive.” I hummed. “About seven twenty on the black market.” I smiled when his eyes widened. I pulled my glasses case out of my suit pocket and handed them to him. “I’m not sure what this would do for your 20/20 vision but..”

He sighed with his hand over his chest. “You are the worst” He chuckled lightly.

I shook my head. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” I said, getting serious.

“Yeah?” He leaned his elbow on the table, giving me his full attention.

“Kids.” I looked at him. “Seeing as we’re going to be the future of Avalont, they’re going force us to have them….early.” I sighed. “I know you want thirty million.” I exaggerated with a playful eye roll. “But….is it possible for this to be the one thing we take at our own pace?” I genuinely didn’t know.

“I mean I’m twenty two and you’re twenty three…does it have to be now?” I wanted it to be us for as long as we can. I know he wants kids and I’ll happily start a family with him, but are we allowed to enjoy this marriage as it is right now? Without the tiny humans…at least for a few years.

He sighed glancing into the distance. “They are going to pressure us.” He sounded worried about me. “Unless…unless we put a child like your brother’s kid as our potential heir maybe then…”

“Technically his unborn child would’ve been the rightful heir…but what about our children?”

“We are only handing them a heir as we get ready. When we are then we can change.”

“Like a place holder?” That’s kind of fucked…but what can you do.

“Yes, it’s wrong but it will keep them off our backs for the mean time.”

I hummed. “I can’t guarantee anything until I talk with Luca and Olivia.” I stood up. “That brings me to my next topic.”

“Alright.”

I went into the building for a minute and came back outside with a box behind my back. “So…um. I’m actually not sure how to say this.”

“Yeah?” He had a nervous smile.

“Do you like puppies…and if so…can we get one?” The box started moving. Because of course, at this moment it decided to move.

He laughed while leaning on the table. He glanced at me and laughed even harder. “Open the box.”

I shook my head. “Answer the question.” The box has holes in it. Honestly it’s too many but I didn’t want to accidentally kill it. And he looks alive to me.

He leaned in and took the cover off revealing the puppy. His smile widened. “Hello, nice to meet you.” He picked it up. “Even if your daddy didn’t tell me he was gonna pick you, I like you.”

I rolled my eyes and put the box down. “Isn’t he just the softest cutest thing. I couldn’t not get him.” I looked at Nyx. “Baby…you didn’t see the way he looked at me.”

“Um hmm.” he hummed as if saying I am lying. “That’s how you’re looking at me, don’t worry we will keep him.”

I looked back at the puppy. “He’s so tiny and adorable.”

“You’re adorable.” He leaned down and pecked my lips.

“And tiny too?” I rolled my eyes, thinking back to the time he called me tiny after we cuddled.

“Yes…yes. Definitely tiny, the both of you.” He held the puppy up and started making goo goo sounds.

“Am I allowed to be jealous of a dog?” I looked at the puppy and instantly melted.

“You’re gonna be sharing my love.” He said without thinking hard of what he was saying. “He is so cute…so so cute. What should we name him?”

“I was going to let you name him….andtherestofhissiblings.” I rubbed the dogs head like I didn’t say anything.

“Liam!” He spoke loudly while pulling the dog away. “How many dogs did you get?”

“Hm?” I looked away from him, not answering his question.

“Liam, baby we can’t have many dogs. We are going to be so busy with King duties.”

“It’s not too many. I think it’s reasonable and plus when we’re not here we have enough resources to hire people to look after them. Dog sitting is a very good business you know.” I tried convincing him. “I don’t think I went overboard with the number of puppies…plus I kinda had to.”

“How many are they?”

“How many what?” I asked, dodging his question. I was unsuccessful because he glared at me. I sighed. “Not many…just…nine…or so.”

“Nine or so? Liam.” He stood up and ushered a waiter over, handing him the puppy before telling him to go. “What is the exact number Liam…three is okay but nine or so. The number is what twelve?”

“What? Twelve is so unreasonable. It’s ten. I had to get the mom as well.” I looked at where the waiter took the tiny dog.

“You got the who now?” He held a hand on his waist. He looked at me as if I had grown a double-head. “Oh Jesus Christ.”

“Okay okay let me explain.”

“Explain… you want to explain ten puppies? Are we creating a dog house?”

“No it’s nine puppies and a dog.” I corrected.

“Do you know what?” He looked at me before raising his voice. “That sounds even worse!” He licked his lips with panic. “This like going from zero kids to ten in a second. I can’t breathe.”

“Okay but hear me out.” I pulled him into a hug. “I wanted like four…right? And well Luca has also wanted dogs. And he planned on keeping all of them at his castle…we were going to see how you felt about them at first. A friend of Luca’s had a pregnant dog he wasn’t able to care for seeing as his mother fell sick. Luca ended up buying the dog and it gave birth like four weeks ago…or so.” I want all of them, though now seeing Nyx’s reaction and how Luca feels about dogs that’s definitely not happening.

I stepped back. “Is four fine? I think four is reasonable….but you don’t have to agree.” Luca has more than enough room for the dogs and I’m pretty sure Olivia has become attached. I looked away, not wanting him to feel pressured. “Probably should’ve thought about this first huh?”

He sighed holding his head. “Ten…ten …ten.” He chanted as if the number was not clicking inside his head. “I will consider only if we can handle it.” He sighed. “Let’s keep them.” He glanced at the island.

“Four is fine, my love. And if you only want to keep the tiny one we can.” I tried seeing it from his point of view and this was insane. I have no doubt in my mind that we could take care of them though. And if the responsibility just happens to fall on me…I’ll take it.

He pulled me into a hug. “Let it be my gift to you…a wedding gift. Nine puppies and a dog.”

I tried not to smile. “Yeah…cool.” I was screaming on the inside. I’ve always wanted dogs and I can finally have them. I hugged him tighter. “I love dogs- I meant you. I love you. So so so so much.”

“And dogs.” He laughed looking at me with love in his eyes.

“I love you more I promise.” I picked him up and spun him around. “We have dogs!” We spun around three times before I put him on solid ground.

“Can we consider a child…please. Only one, just one and not now. In a year or two or three or even four.” He sounded nervous.

“Consider? You’ve said you wanted kids and that you wanted to be a dad. Of course we’re having kids.” I held out my pinky. “A year from today, we will look for a surrogate.”

“Oh my god!” He hugged me tighter than before. “Thank you, they will be the cutest thing ever!”

I hugged him just as tight. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Impossible.” I muttered, looking in his storm grey eyes.

Dear diary,

I’ve never been happier. I have my amazing husband. I have a few puppies…and a dog. I also have the kingdom, that I’ll be ruling with my husband by my side. Can life get any better? The answer is yes. In one year we are planning a child. A baby. Holy hell it doesn’t seem real but holy shit it’s happening.

Chapter 48

Nyx pov:

After the coronation which consisted of a lot of talking. From the previous Kings of the two nations to the Queens, and ambassadors. The priest opened it and closed it, he also got an hour of speech in between trying to pray for a wonderful new era.

I couldn’t wait for everything to be done. An entire day of swearing in, crowns, strolls around the city, waving and meeting with a few people.

It was a long day for the both of us and at the end, we were both exhausted. When we got back to the castle, our new home I was beyond tired yet tomorrow was our first day as Kings. More exhaustion was waiting for us and I couldn’t help but be even more exhausted from the thought.

After having multiple days off and all the fun we had on our honeymoon. I have officially forgotten all about being a King, leisure is fun and no one can ever get tired of fun.

One of our puppies walked in…haven’t caught the names since they all look alike. All cute and tiny. “Hey baby.” I picked it up as I threw my shirt down feeling my body ache all over. “Babe!” I called out to Liam. “I know tomorrow is our first day as official Kings but do you think we can schedule a massage in between, it would be better if it’s a couple massage.”

“Yeah. I’ll talk to Lenon and see how our schedule is looking.” He walked back into the room and sighed. “This room is absolutely atrocious.” He rubbed the puppy in my hands. “Hi sleepy baby…Honey is definitely one of my favorites.”

“Oh, this is Honey?” I glanced at him. “You have favorites now?”

“I’ve always had favorites. Rocky.” He looked at me, knowing I didn’t know the difference. “Is our first dog. He’s my favorite. Reminds me of our honeymoon date and your smile when you saw him.”

“Stop saying that.” I covered Honey’s ears. “You will hurt their feelings by saying that. That is why I don’t learn their names because I don’t like socialism.”

“Fine.” He huffed. “I don’t have favorites I love them all equally.” He wouldn’t look at me as he said it. “You should learn their names though, it’ll be easier when we train them.”

“I need a class for it.” I covered Honey’s ears again. “They look alike, even the spots.”

“Baby…they don’t. Remember Socks? He has all black fur and white and brown on his paws.” He sighed. “Though, Luca has been hogging Socks. He’s not good at sharing apparently. I feel like he comes over just to play with our dogs…although he denies it.”

“You named our dog socks?” I let Honey go and she slid through the door. “Now I’m glad I never learned their names…I now know you should never be put in place to name anything at all.” I emphasized the last part. He clearly sucks. Who names Socks, Rocky and Honey? God knows what else he named our poor puppies.

“Wait until you find out about Wink. And Socks was a good name! His fur literally looks like little socks on his paws. It’s the cutest thing ever!” He said excitedly.

“You can’t go around naming names based on tiny characteristics. So Wink winks so much..is that it?”

He stayed silent. “I have you know I put thought into their names.” He mumbled.

“Thought? They sound like a toddler came up with those names actually a toddler would find a better name. I’m sorry babe but naming and you don’t match up.”

“You have a better name?”

“Not right now but I can, any name is better than Wink.” I shivered in pain. “The poor dog hearing, ‘wink come here’.”

He burst out laughing. “It does sound ridiculous doesn’t it?”

I stood up and pecked him. “We will keep the names but you are not naming any of our kids.” I hugged him with a sigh. “How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

“Can I name one?” He asked, looking like a kicked puppy. “Oh I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“I’m sorry but I won’t budge. I’m not willing to let my kid get Wink for a name or worse.” For once he is not getting what wanted. “Why are you gonna throw up?”

“We can talk about names together.” He shrugged. “Just nervous about the king duties. What if I’m not a good king. What if they hate me. What if I mess up. What if I forget something important. What if-”

“Have you seen the tweets about us recently?” I held his shoulders. “Everyone likes you, especially teenagers and I am the ideal King for old people. It makes us a great deal, teens love you and I have the old. Don’t worry about a thing you have the best generation behind you.”

“This is a lot of pressure though…” He stepped back, looking like he was on the verge of a panic attack. “Holy fuck. I’m scared.” He looked at me. “I’m scared.”

I pulled him into a kiss when I pulled back I held his face. “If it’s too much all you have to do is tap me three times and I will take over until you are ready.”

He nodded. “I- okay.”

“Let me take a shower so we can cuddle.” I pecked his temple before going into the bathroom. It was a short shower since my entire body still ached from the day.

I went back into the room and found Liam seated, watching his phone. I pulled the blanket up and got under. “Let’s cuddle…ugh my body aches.”

He put his phone down and got under the blanket. “I’m not going to be little spoon.” He muttered, likely talking about the time I called him tiny. Will he ever let that go?

“Just hold me, I can barely go on.” I pulled his hand as I turned. He wrapped his hands around me.

“I love you.”

“I love you and the dogs…good night.” I yawned while pushing into him, my hand locking with his. I have never been bored of having him close to me every night, especially when I am this tired.

“Good night baby.” He kissed my neck.

Not even seconds later I was out like a light but in the morning I was up early. I left Liam still sleeping as I went into the office and organized everything so that when he comes in he gets fewer jobs.

I ordered us breakfast too and kept it warm for him. I need him full before the beginning of the day.

Dear Diary,

First day as Kings…Kings of Avalont.

Chapter 49

Liam pov:

To say I was scared would be an understatement. I’m freaking the fuck out. I don’t even want to eat the breakfast Nyx got for me because I’m scared I’ll puke.

I ate tiny bites so when he asks I can tell him I ate. He got me a full plate of hash browns and pancakes. I love him.

I got up and got ready for the day. I showered, brushed my teeth, washed my face, all other hygiene things, and fixed my hair.

I looked in my closet and realized just how immature and unprofessional my clothing was. I looked over at Nyx’s side of the closet. I grabbed his black v neck sweater and black slacks. I grabbed a white collar shirt.

If I show skin on my first day is that considered unprofessional and unfit? I have to wear a collar shirt right?

I put on the outfit. My hands were shaking and I was nervous as shit. I went to the home office, where Lenon said Nyx would be. “Hi.” I kissed him on his head.

“Good morning, have some breakfast.” He said while pointing at it. “And don’t worry I have fixed everything that needs you. I will pass you through it after.” He gave a short encouraging smile.

“I ate the breakfast you sent to the room?” I said confused, but took a bite of the hash browns anyway. “Do we have any room in our schedule for a couples massage?” I forgot to ask Lenon.

“I just went through everything and we will only have that next month.” He stood up and handed me the files. “They only need your signature and you’re done for the next three hours.”

“What about you?” I asked, confused.

He pointed to the pile of files that needed his attention. “We have three meetings after that.”

I sat down and started signing the papers he gave me. Some agreements and approvals for Avalont, he had already signed them and it was my turn to approve.

After passing my eyes through the ideas that were too good not to agree to, I signed. After a few minutes I was done. That wasn’t hard at all and as he said it took me only a few minutes.

I looked at him, he seemed so busy I offered to help. He handed me some files and I did my job, by an hour I was tired but I held on because he was holding on.

The entire day I spent with him but didn’t have a chance to have a free conversation that wasn’t about bettering Avalont. Not that I am mad about it, I’m just mad that this feels like we are spending time together for other people and not us.

The next days became even worse, he would stay in the office or leave for a trip, I couldn’t go with him as I had my own places to be to.

Days became weeks. And I was exhausted. I only see Nyx when we go to sleep and the few meetings we have together. Although we rule together, we specialize in different things. We’re needed for different things for the kingdom therefore have different schedules. Not everything requires us both in attendance and it fucking sucks.

When we get back to the castle one of us is already sleep or too exhausted for more than a ‘hey’ and ‘good night’. To be fair we have tried to have longer conversations but one of us falls asleep within the first few minutes.

This got worse when he had even more trips and we went weeks without seeing each other. I miss him like crazy and I don’t know what to do. Who knew being King would be so…lonely.

I walked into our room and saw Nyx sleeping with his laptop in his hand. I smiled and kissed him on his forehead. He stirred a bit but didn’t wake up. I grabbed his laptop he was working on his upcoming speech. He’d just gotten back early this morning but I was out doing stupid King shit.

I looked at his laptop when he received a notification that his schedule was updated. I clicked the notification, hoping to find a free day in his schedule. Maybe we could go out to dinner or just stay inside. As long as we do it together I don’t care.

I frowned at his schedule. He didn’t have anything open which wasn’t much of a surprise, but what did shock me was all of the meetings with Lady Augustus. I slammed his computer shut and went to find Lenon. I was fucking pissed.

I ran downstairs and banged on Lenon’s door. I don’t care that it’s twelve a.m. I wanted answers now. He opened his door and looked at me confused, but fixed his stance upon seeing who it was. “Your majesty.” He bowed.

I didn’t bother trying to be polite. “Why does Nyx have so many meetings with Lady Augustus?”

“Um…Queen Mother of Balemont told me to update King Nyx’s schedule.”

“She’s not the Queen of shit now. Refer to her as his mother. Why did she tell you to update his schedule to…..that.” I couldn’t even bring myself to say it.

“She wanted King Nyx to spend more time with Lady Augustus.” He glanced down. “She said she hopes for them to get close once again.”

“That fucking bitch. Where is she?”

“I-I don’t know.” He stuttered with surprise. “I have no idea my King.”

“Find out. Today.” I said before leaving. I went back to our room to find Nyx still sleeping. I sighed and went to our balcony to get some air.

It started with me getting air, then I started playing with my lighter before finally pulling out a cigarette to light it. I inhaled the smoke and felt myself starting to calm down. I know I told Nyx I wouldn’t smoke as much, but I’ve been smoking a lot recently.

I’m not sure how long I was out here, but it had to have been hours because Nyx came out to the balcony freshly showered and full dressed. “Good morning.” I said before inhaling the smoke.

He wrapped a coat over my shoulders and pecked my cheek. “How long have you been here?”

I shrugged. “A few hours maybe? How’d you sleep?”

He took the cigarette from my lips and stomped on it. “Did you get any sleep?” I sighed before shaking my head. “Is something bothering you?” He asked but I noticed how he glanced at his watch.

“Yes-” I sighed when he glanced at his watch again. “Do you have somewhere to be?” I asked, although I knew he was meeting with Lady Augustus today.

“Yes…in a few minutes but I want to know what is wrong with you first. Is the pressure of everything catching up with you?”

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“Today my schedule is filed with checking out the projects. They are almost done with our first hospital, and might get open in the next three months. And after that, I have to visit the elderly…soon to be transferred then back to the office. Not much maybe we can finally get some time to catch a dinner.”

I nodded. “Except we can’t. You’re meeting Lady Augustus for dinner tonight.” I looked at him. “Did you know that?”

“I have no dinner plans.” He looked at me before going inside. He came out a few seconds later with his phone in hand. He frowned. “I checked my schedule last night, I had no plans with Lady Augustus for this entire month. I had only one which was important but I had switched it to you.”

“You have over six meetings with her in the span of a month now.” I pulled another cigarette out and lit it when I felt tears building up. I know it’s not his fault or anything but fuck does it hurt to see him spend so much time with one person when I barely see him for an hour. And the fact that the person is Lady Augustus. This is our longest conversation in weeks.

“I’m going to fix it…” he put the phone in his pocket and made me look at him. He took the cigarette from between my lips and stomped on this one too. “I’m sorry, I am going to fix it or we leave it in and instead of going to dinner with her I go with you.”

I nodded. “You’re wasting my cigarettes.” I muttered.

“Sorry.” He pecked my lips. “I have to get going.” He was about to leave but came back. “Wait…are you free at the same time as Lady Augustus’ dinner?”

I nodded. I wasn’t sure, but if I wasn’t I will be. “Have a good day.”

He blew me a kiss before walking out of the room. I kept my eyes on the door for a few minutes. I can’t keep living like this.

Dear diary,

I’m exhausted, both mentally and physically. I don’t care about being King. I just want to come home to my husband everyday and shower him with love and affection. I can’t do this.

Chapter 50

Nyx pov:

“Who told you to change my schedule?” My voice was anything but nice, it was laced with the anger I felt deep inside of me. I had to wake up to Liam angry at me for that schedule I knew nothing about. Moreover a dinner, I know how much Liam hates Lady Augustus, there will never be any amount of ‘I love you’ that will ever ease his worries and I get that.

I had my first love with her. I get where he is coming from that is why when I saw an appointment with her I immediately switched it to him.

I don’t wanna make my husband angry and today was one of those days that got me riled up. I have not been seeing him often and him to see my schedule like that only brings up further insecurities that he should not be having.

“Queen mother.” I stopped walking and glanced at Lenon.

“If she ever tells you to change my schedule inform me immediately. I am the King she has no power over what I do. I don’t expect this kind of mistake from you ever again or I’m firing you.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” I was about to walk away but I stopped and glanced back at him. “I need you to start adding my husband to my schedule.” I walked away without waiting for his reply.

My day is about to be done, I would have went ahead and spoke with my mother right now but I don’t want to get into a bad mood right before my dinner date with my husband.

As I was leaving the nursing home, a car parked next to mine and Lady Augustus together with my mother pulled up. “Fuck.” I cursed under my breath making sure no one hear me before plastering a fake smile. “Good afternoon, what are you two doing here?” I gave them both a peck on the cheek. Cameras flashing made me know I was in deep shit already.

If Liam sees this what is he gonna think? “Queen Mother said you won’t be able to make it to dinner tonight so we should have lunch together.”

“But I have an appointment right now-”

“It’s just office work, you can push it towards the evening.” I wanted to stand back and plainly say no but with the environment I was in, I decided against it. I got into my car, Lady Augustus joined but my mother took her own car.

My driver took us to the closest restaurant, they opened the door for the both of us and we went inside. I noticed the window seats but I changed them to a private room, I needed that much privacy with her.

Just as we had taken our seats mother walked in. I didn’t expect her to join. “Why did you change the seats Nyx?”

“I need some privacy for what I am about to say, I’m glad you decided to join. Take a seat.” I have been cutting our meetings short, making sure I am too busy for her, but I guess she is not too busy for me like I would have hoped.

Here she is trying to set this up with Lady Augustus all because she can never be satisfied with what she has. She took a seat. “Isn’t Lady Augustus looking exceptionally good today?”

“She always looks her best.” I replied politely before smiling at her. “I-”

“I told you he will like your outfit so very much. Mother knows best.” She cut me off. I licked my lips, really getting ticked off. After seeing Liam angry and on the verge of tears today I am not in the mood to be dealing with bullshit when I have an amazing family that I would be spending time with. It’s even been so long since I cuddled my puppies.

A waitress came in and they ordered. I denied then sat back and waited, silently watching them speak to each other. Lady Augustus would glance at me from time to time. Finally their food arrived. “Are you sure you don’t want anything?” She asked with a worried tone, her beautiful eyes softening. She is indeed still as pretty as always she deserves someone to give her the world.

“No, I’m good.”

“Maybe he wants to be fed.” I clenched my jaw, fighting everything in me to snap at her. I hate being rude to anyone even my mother, but I just don’t want whatever this is she is trying to pull.

I held a hand over my head before glancing at her. “I don’t like this, I don’t like whatever you’re trying to pull with me. Interrupting my schedule was inappropriate on all levels and you crossed the line.” I spoke sternly.

“I am your mother, I never cross the line.”

“You always do.” I stood up. “It should end now and today. Never mess with my schedules ever again.” I glanced at Lady Augustus. “I’m so sorry for all of this or for whatever lie she has told you. You are so beautiful and you need to be appreciated and keep your dignity like you always have. You told me you will take me out of your heart once I get married…I am and that is not going to change ever because I am happy with what I have now. I am happy with who I am now.”

“I know.” She smiled, I was a tad bit taken back. “I am not here to get you back. You are out of my heart, the day you put a ring on I knew I would be a fool if I kept wanting you.” She stood up. “Your Mother just wanted us to have dinner and rekindle like old friends. She told me you agreed but if it makes you uncomfortable then we don’t have to do it again.” She picked up her bag. “It was nice to see you King Nyx Lada-De Conto.” She gave a courtesy before leaving the room.

“Why did you have to go and ruin this!” Mom yelled behind me, I turned to her. “Are you out of your mind? This was the time to get back your first love-”

“Shut up.” It was rude but she made it hard not to be. “Just because you’re no longer Queen doesn’t mean you have to raise your voice mother.”

“What did you just tell me?” She walked closer. “Did you forget who you are talking to? Your mother. I am the person who raised you into the king you are and you are meant to obey me.” My heart skipped a bit and as if on instinct I wanted to apologize, yet what came out of my mouth was nothing but laughter.

“I’m free.” I held my hands over my mouth. “I admit these past months I felt bad for ignoring you and it would weigh on me all day. It made me sleepless, I wanted to crack and call you or meet up with you but all the work…away from you distracted me enough to not do it. Meeting you today I thought my anger was making me confident but now…now I see it. That’s is not it. I actually don’t care about what you think of me-” She slapped me hard. It stung but I swallowed it before turning toward her.

She looked livid, I didn’t expect a second slap but it did come. I closed my eyes now really angry that when I opened them I forgot she was actually my mother. I picked up Lady Augustus’s plate and poured the soup on her hair. I had to step back so I didn’t get any on me and watched it slop down on her expensive dress. She looked at me, angrily. “Next time you lay a finger on me, you will spend the day in jail. This is me being lenient for all the shit you have done to me.”

“I have given you everything. I am the reason you are who you are. I am the reason you are the most important person in the kingdom and you’re ruling this great nation. I taught you everything…loved you.”

“You only ever loved me if I pleased you. Love is unconditional and that is the kind of love Liam gives me. The love I have for myself is unconditional. You never loved me, you loved yourself so much you were willing to use me to get it. I guess it’s my turn but I am not going to use anyone like you did.”

I stepped out leaving her behind dripping with soup. Liam made me love myself and even if I give my attention to the kingdom it is because I want to and I love what I do.

I love myself enough to do what I love and love who I love.

Dear Diary,

Self-growth has been a hard journey for me. After getting married I didn’t think I was growing when I kept on ignoring my problem, yet in the process of love and family I was growing.

Liam has been patient and he showed me even with all the flaws, I was loved. I fought hard to be the King, the man I am right now. This was me, my process and in the end, I am not a bad person….I am still a good person in the right place.

Chapter 51

Liam pov:

I walked to the garden where Lenon said Nyx was. I was confused because I thought we were going on a date. I was dressed in this stupid suit. I’m tired of suits, but I wanted to look my best for my husband. Suits are the definition of best…right?

I followed the path to the garden and stopped in my tracks when I saw Nyx standing in front of picnic things with a bouquet of roses in his hand.

I stepped closer. “Wh…what is this?”

“An apology for not being able to see you or take you out and treasure you like you deserve.” He inhaled. “But it’s also an appreciation for everything you have brought and keeps bringing in my life…like our nine puppies and a dog.”

I smiled. “Have you learned their names yet?” I kissed him. “I love you.”

“Rocky…Honey…Wink…Socks…Mercury…Tami…Tobi…Perky…Chase and the mother…”

“It’s not perky.” I shook my head. “Percy…his name is Percy.”

“Yes, Percy. I’m glad he can’t hear it.” He laughed while handing the flowers.

I grabbed the flowers. “I love you.” I peppered his face in kisses until he started giggling while simultaneously trying to push me away.

He pulled me to sit down. “I had a big day…mom and Lady Augustus cut me off after the nursing home appointment. They took me to this restaurant and shit went down…I poured soup on my mom.” He held a hand over his mouth as if still in shock.

My eyes widened. “That was you?!” I laughed. “She was on Royal News.” I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him.

“I took a screenshot of it in case it was taken down. They also took pictures of you and Lady Augustus. It’s in Avalon Times.” I told him in case he wasn’t aware. I didn’t need someone bringing it up and he was completely clueless.

“She called the reporters herself, she got what she deserved.”

“Why?”

“She was using Lady Augustus on her ambitious mission to get their riches. I turned that down and Lady Augustus is aware that I am still not ready to be friends. She agreed to give me time.”

I nodded. “You know what’s funny?” I asked but didn’t wait for a response. “When I saw the news article of you kissing Lady Augustus’ cheek, I wasn’t mad. I knew it was out of courtesy.” I looked at him. “I’ve grown as well. Holy shit I’ve never thought I’d get to this level of maturity but I trust you with everything in me.”

“So we can all be friends or are you not comfortable with that yet?”

“If you want to be friends with her then go ahead. I trust you and…I guess I can try to get to know her as well…or something.”

“Liam.” He leaned in and kissed my lips. “You’re the best and she is amazing. You will like her.”

I smiled, kissing him again. “I want to talk about something.”

“Uh..huh.”

I took my jacket off, loosened my tie before taking it off, and unbuttoned my shirt. “Geez I was fucking uncomfortable.” I took off my belt. “If I stayed in that suit any longer I would’ve died.”

“It looks comfy but I guess that’s me.” He loves suits and I hate them.

“I’ll never understand your love for suits and lack of sweatpants and hoodies.” I shook my head.

“You own a lot, I don’t need to get more, and suits are better. You are never changing my mind.”

“Still better when it takes longer to get undressed and you’re horny?”

“I despise all clothes when I’m horny.”

I couldn’t even say anything because he was right. I looked at him. “I’ve never found the right time to talk about this…and I guess there is never a right time. It’s a big part of who I am today and I feel like you have the right to know.” I grabbed his hand and started playing with his wedding band.

“Yeah?” He seemed worried.

“The dungeon…I didn’t tell you everything that happened there. I’m sure you…realize especially after what happened in the elevator.” I looked at his hand.

“Yes.” He held onto my hand.

“Um…my mother locked me in the dungeon and….sent two guards to beat me.” I looked everywhere but him. “She uh..said it-” I inhaled. “Until I learned my lesson. I guess I learned it?”

He squeezed my hand tighter but didn’t speak. Waiting for me to be ready to add on.

“It’s um…I get nightmares about it…and um panic attacks as well….like the one on the elevator. Small dark spaces are usually the trigger and I’m not entirely sure what triggers the nightmares. But the experience in the dungeon also affected my sex life. It was around the time I was going through puberty and I don’t it affected my dick?” I said with an awkward laugh. I didn’t fully understand why I liked pain, especially after what happened, but I do.

“I’m sorry.” He held my hand with both his hands. “Is there something I can do to help or like if you’re comfortable we can get some help for you?”

“Like therapy?”

“Yes, but of course if you’re ready and comfortable with it.”

“I’ve never thought about therapy….do you think it’s something I should do?”

“I think you need sessions to dig out all the effects of the panic attacks and nightmares.” He held my hand gently rubbed it. “Whenever you’re ready, telling me doesn’t mean you are ready to share with another person so take your time and pace with everything.” He pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

I didn’t know what to say so I stayed silent for a few minutes. “I wanted you to know everything about me. I talked to my mother today…and although I can’t bring myself to forgive her for what she’s done, I did thank her. Without that experience, although traumatic, I wouldn’t be the man you see today. I am thankful for every event in my life that has brought me to you. I love you with every fiber of my being.”

“We live, cry, and laugh. Doesn’t mean we forget or forgive…it means we can be happy despite all the trauma and terrible events.”

“I’m happier than I’ve ever been right now.” I looked at him. “You make me happy.”

“I love you.” He pecked my lips when one of our dogs came out. “Percy.” He picked him up.

I looked at Percy. “I can’t believe you thought I named him perky.”

“Wouldn’t you?” He picked up a piece of meat feeding it to him before Perky ran away with his treat in the mouth.

I shook my head at both the dog and my husband. “No I wouldn’t.” I probably would.

“I’m glad you wouldn’t-” Before he could finish all our dogs came running towards us. “I think it was a bad idea to give Percy a treat.”

I fell down as the dogs got on the blanket and surrounded us. Being the good dogs they are, they didn’t eat any of the food. I laughed. “We can order pizza?” I grabbed a piece of ham and gave it to one of the dogs.

The caretaker came running and tried to apologize. “It’s fine, can you get them more meat?” He nodded before running away. We stayed back and continued playing with the dogs. Nyx got up and played catch with them.

I don’t think this date could be any more perfect. I looked at Nyx who was playing with the dogs. I grabbed my phone and played ‘Heartbeat’ by Carrie Underwood. As the song started playing I grabbed Nyx and pulled him in. “This is my favorite song, you know. Reminds me of one of the best nights of my life.”

“Our first dance as a married couple.”

I nodded. “You know we didn’t even stay for the actual celebration?”

“We had a better one.” He held me. “I could never change it for anything else.”

“Oh I never said I wanted to change it. I enjoyed every second of it.” I kissed him.

Silence consumed us, with only the song and the sounds of our dogs running around we enjoyed the evening.

Dear diary,

Life couldn’t get any more perfect. I’m glad I found someone like Nyx. I love him so much it hurts. I can’t wait to see what our future looks like, together.

Epilogue

Nyx pov:

I stood outside of the bedroom where Sarah, our surrogate was going to give birth to our first child and I couldn’t help but feel like I would pass out any second from now.

It was just as I was when she had our sperm put into her, I lost sleep and filtered any work I had just to see if she had gotten pregnant. I had to wait for three weeks to find that out. Oh the pressure was killing me. Three weeks felt like a year. I was losing my brain.

But when it was confirmed that she was indeed pregnant I couldn’t have been more happier. I have always wanted to be a father and this was a big dream of mine come true. I was worried but also excited about everything.

Right now she is about to give birth and she has been in there for hours now. We keep getting updates with everything but it’s not enough. I need to know if they are both fine. Yes no complications so far but I want to hear that both the child and Sarah are fine.

“Babe.” I held onto Liam, my legs could hardly keep up. “I can’t breathe.” I glanced at Lenon. “Can I please get some water?”

Liam pulled me into a hug. “It feels unreal.” He said, running his fingers through my hair, trying to calm me. It worked a little but nothing could ease this anxiety in me other than the news that they’re both healthy and okay.

These past months I have been dreaming of this day, but I guess I forgot about the pressure this brings to us as new parents. While the entire nation is waiting for their heir we are waiting for our first child and it feels unreal yet so real that I can’t help but be over the moon. “I can’t wait to hold him.”

He let out a shaky breath. “We still haven’t settled on a name, you know.”

“I like Onyx Lada-De Conto, it still sounds beautiful. But it sounds close to my name.” I looked up to him hoping he doesn’t have a problem with it.

“Oh? I’m ninety percent sure I suggest Onyx and you told me, ‘you’re not choosing his name.’” He mocked my voice, making me sound high pitched. I also remember saying in that very same sentence how he named our dog pickle. I finally learned the mother’s name and it turned out to be pickle. He said because she ate his burger when he wasn’t looking but left the pickles.

“I hadn’t listened very well. You are terrible with names so I thought whatever name comes out of your mouth would be insanely bad.” I pecked him. “But Onyx is a great name.”

He smiled. “I know right? What can I say? I’m great at choosing names.”

“You’re still bad.” I muttered out with a light chuckle. This conversation was actually calming me down for a bit. “You named our mother dog pickle I’m still not over that.”

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “She ate everything but the pickles. Even the fries! She deserved it.” He muttered.

“Which means she hates pickles but you chose to name her what she hates . You should have tried fries…not like it’s a good name. Your craziness is rubbing off of me” I sighed, now he is gonna name something fries. Why did I suggest that?

“That’s actually a great idea. Thank you, my life.” He pecked me.

I pinched him. “You suck, but I like it.” The door opened and I immediately heard the child’s cries. I stood up with my mouth open, still in disbelief.

Our head nurse, Carol came out with our child in hand. “Your majesties, you have a healthy baby boy.” She handed him to us, I was shaking I couldn’t take him and I was glad when Liam did.

His entire face lit up. “He’s- he’s so tiny.” He stood next to me. “Holy shit we’re dads.” He whisper yelled.

“Don’t curse. Are you sure those are the first words you want our child to hear?” I scolded with an eye roll. I looked at the kid and I almost cried. “Fuck.” My eyes widened at the words that came out of my lips. Is that what I had to say to my kid first? ‘Fuck.’ Who am I?

He looked at me with a smile. “You were saying, my love?” He teased, but pecked me on the cheek. “Do you want to hold him now?”

“Let me sit first.” I took a seat and after a deep breath I accepted him. The moment I felt him in my arms a tear fell. He is so tiny and fragile. “Is he okay like perfectly fine?” I had to make sure, his tiny face was so red and puffy, his eyes closed. He looked cute but didn’t look like me at all yet we used my sperm.

Carol nodded. “Yes your majesty, he’s perfectly healthy. You have a healthy baby boy.” She reassured me.

Liam sat down next to me. “He’s-” he sniffed. “So beautiful.” His voice cracked.

Lenon walked in. “I’m sorry to interrupt you, your majesties, but you have to address the public and let it be known that our future King has been born.”

“Can we have a minute with our child?” I replied back before looking at my kid again. I looked at Liam. “We are fathers.” Still unbelievable. After almost two years we are officially fathers not only to the nation, but also to a baby boy.

He smiled. “It seems like a dream.”

I smiled while leaning my head on him…the nurse took our child. Onyx now was in the world with us. “This is a miracle day, one of the best days of my life.”

“I love you….our baby boy is so precious.” He squeezed my hand.

“He is.” I pecked his lips. “I love you.” We have been a great team in our two years of marriage. I could never exchange it for anything else, I never expected this kind of life with anyone and now I am living the best dream that I wouldn’t exchange for anything at all.

Dear diary,

We’re fathers. I’m excited to start this new journey into fatherhood. If I could go back, I’d do it all over again. Everything in my life has led me to this point, with an amazing husband, a beautiful healthy baby boy, and an amazing nation. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. Liam and I will make great fathers.

I have to go sign Onyx’s birth certificate. Before I go, I wanted to thank you for being on this journey with me. This will be my last diary entry. Thank you, diary.

Extra

Liam pov:

“Daddy!” Was the first thing I heard then tiny footsteps followed. I couldn’t help the smile that made its way to my lips.

I didn’t turn around until my name was called again. “Daddy!!”

The tiny voice said louder. I turned around and he finally entered the room. “Inside voice, my angel.” I smiled. “What can I help you with?” I asked, putting his new remote controlled car down. I was put on battery duty, so while he played with the toys that didn’t require batteries, I was putting batteries in the toys that needed them.

“Uncle Luca and Auntie Liv are here!” He said, his storm grey eyes sparkling.

I smiled, wiping frosting off of his nose. I grabbed his little hand. “Let’s go.”

We walked into the kitchen where a very pregnant Olivia sat on a barstool. Luca was next to her, sipping hot cocoa and talking to Nyx. Onyx let go of my hand and ran to Luca, he saw us enter and tried to subtly sneak Onyx a cookie.

“Merry Christmas.” I spoke to my brother and sister in law.

“Merry Christmas.” They both said in unison.

I walked over to Nyx and hugged him from behind. “Merry Christmas, my love.” I kissed him on the cheek. We’d already seen each other today when we opened Christmas gifts at the ass crack of dawn. I don’t understand why we do it so early, but Nyx insisted.

“Merry Christmas.” He pecked my cheek before glancing at Onyx. “Feed him cookies and he will become something else.”

Onyx is very hyper when he gets sweets, we learned that the hard way when I let him get a brownie before bed. It took hours before he finally settled enough to lay down and sleep.

Luca hummed. “He’ll be fine…it’s Christmas.” He looked at Onyx, who was reaching for another cookie. “Mind if we kidnap the tiny kid for a few hours?”

“Please.” Nyx was practically begging.

I shook my head with a smile. “We’re supposed to fight a little then reluctantly allow him to take our child. You know, follow them out the doors with tears in our eyes?”

“I don’t know about you but I could go a day without him.” He whispered, making sure Onyx didn’t hear him. “Especially today.” He added.

“Christmas is about family and spending time with each other.” I said although I was definitely going to allow Luca to take him for the day. I looked at Luca. “Have him back by the ball.”

Luca nodded and grabbed Onyx causing him to let out a screech of laughter. He ran off.

I sighed and looked at Olivia who was just now getting out of the chair. “Can you make sure he packs a suit for the ball?”

“Of course.” She smiled. “Marry Christmas.” She left and two minutes later Luca yelled a quick bye before the door slammed shut.

“Where is my ‘I love you’?” Nyx scoffed as if he wasn’t the one who wanted him gone.

“It left with him.” I laughed. “We’ll see him again in like five hours.” I turned him towards me. “In the meantime…what should we do?”

“I should go get my ‘I love you’ he can’t go like that.” He tried to wiggle out of my arms but I pulled him back he laughed while pecking my lips. “You hear that?” The silence, the peace. “It bothers me now, I miss him.”

“I miss him too…you know Luca and Olivia got him a car? It’ll be even louder when he gets back.” It was the kind he could fit in and actually drive. He’d be riding up and down the halls making all kinds of noise.

“Let’s enjoy the silence while it lasts.” He pulled out of my hands and started making hot chocolate. “Can you prepare some snacks and a blanket?”

“Cookies, brownies, cake?” I asked, hopeful.

“Don’t forget gummies. Look out for the milk I’ll be back.” He ran upstairs and with in a minute he was back down. He finished the hot chocolate adding some marshmallows with heavy cream. He carried the tray in front of the fire place where a three-seater couch was.

I brought a plate of the baked goods as well as gummies and sat next to him. “Christmas movie?” I asked, sitting the plate on the coffee table as well as the things he had in his hand. I grabbed the blanket then opened his arms and settled in between them.

“Maybe later.” He pulled me closer. “For now I just want to hold you.”

We sat in silence for a while. “You’re right…it’s too quiet.” I said after a few minutes. “We haven’t had this kind of quiet in five years.”

“No, we haven’t and as much as I hate it, I needed it today.” He sipped on his hot chocolate, his eyes staring directly into the fire. “I have been living the dream, every day. Our son, the kingdom, you…everything. I get tired but I sit down and feel grateful every day for this.”

I nodded. We all have days where we need quiet. It’s hard to do that with a kid around. It’s also not like we just didn’t spend Christmas with Onyx. It was well into the day and we baked cookies, watched a movie, opened gifts, and so many other things. I’m happy for this moment alone with my husband.

“Do you have something you want to do before Onyx gets back?”

“This.” His hands showed a black box. “You can open it.”

“I thought we already exchanged gifts.” I looked at him, taking the box.

“This one is special and I would like it if it were you, me and Onyx.” I opened the box and a diamond ring was revealed. “For family and love. No arrangement and Onyx can be our witness and priest…what do you say? Will you renew our marriage?”

I pulled him into a kiss. “This is the best Christmas gift I’ve ever received.”

Nyx and I have been married legally for seven years. Onyx just turned five not too long ago. Everything is perfect. The kingdom is doing great, Nyx and I see each other damn near every day, Onyx is happy and healthy, and our dogs are as playful as always. They’ve gotten big.

Onyx is the splitting image of Nyx. He has his storm grey eyes and his jet black hair. It’s hard to tame most days but we manage….barely but still. He has my personality and is the sassiest kid you’ll ever meet.

He’s a wild one. If he’s not outside, getting a new injury then he’s inside breaking an expensive vase. He says what’s on his mind and can go on for literal hours. Sweets make everything worse though.

At first I couldn’t imagine myself being a dad, now I can’t imagine myself not being a dad. I have an amazing husband by my side and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Dear diary,

Holy shit it’s been a minute. Nyx was going through some old boxes and found my diary. He teased me about having one until we found his in the next box. I can’t believe we both had diaries. I wonder what his diary is like. Of course I won’t go in it…just curious.

I’m not sure what to talk about. It’s been years. How are you?

You know you’ve helped me through some shit in my early twenties. Especially when I was dealing with things with Nyx and the kingdom. It felt good writing my thoughts down.

How old is too old to own a diary? We have a son and overcame a lot of shit to get here. I’m happy.

I’m getting old too. Yesterday I found a grey hair. Yes I will cry about it. A fucking grey hair. Me? I’m only thirty. A grey hair is…I’m- change of subject I don’t even wanna get into it anymore.

Nyx is on the road of being a dilf. Okay that’s a lie he is a dilf. My dlif though. I wish I could write more, but we’re on the last page. I think I should end this by saying we’re doing well.

Nyx thinks we should add our Christmas card in here but we couldn’t decide which we liked better. I think this is a good way to close out the diary entry.

What’s next?

Thank you for making it this far. Before we start talking about other books, we’d first like to thank all of our commenters, voters, and readers in general. We’re thankful for anyone who took the time to read our book. It was one hell of a rollercoaster, wasn’t it?

We had a blast writing this book. It was so much fun, that we started another book together. This book is absolutely nothing like Royal Diaries. If you’re looking for something like that, we don’t recommend this book.

The name of our next book is, “The Soul Factor”. It will be published Monday, January 1st 2024. On @criseada The Soul Factor is a LGBT supernatural dual pov dark romance with versatile characters.

As we said before, this book is nothing like Royal Diaries. It includes trigger warnings which are shown below. Please read the triggers carefully . If you feel slightly triggered or bothered by any of the triggers below, do not read . You have been warned, we will not be responsible for anything that happens if you read this book.

Triggers:

Graphic violence

Bondage

Extremely rough sex

Haematophillia

Physical torture

Sexual torture

Extreme breath play

Whipping

Near death experiences

Blood gore

Manipulation

Killing

Slight narcissism

Threats

Possession

Psychopathic tendencies

Hate sex

Fighting

Erotophonophilla

Autassinophilla

Dub-con

Somnophilla

Knife play

Sounding

Fire play

Threesome

Asphyxiaphilia

Dacryphilia

Odaxelagnia

Sadism

Masochism

Algolagnia

Fisting

If you’ve read the triggers and are still interested, please go read it. We hope you enjoy. Comments and votes are always appreciated. We do not support any of the actions in this book. This is strictly fictional and written for entertainment purposes

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