A/N

Hey! English is not my first language, so please forgive me for any minor mistakes!

There’s a big age gap between the characters (12 years), so if

you don’t like this type of story, please don’t continue reading further. The main character is above the age nineteen. I’d never write a story where one is minor.

This is

not

a

slowburn

romance. But if you’re looking for one, read my story

Adopted by a Vampire

.

TW

: Sexual Content, Mentions of SA

,

Attempt of SA

(first and second chapter). Dark themes. Obsessive behavior.

Hope you’ll enjoy my new wlw story <3

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A E S T H E T I C

1 - Saving

TW: Attempt of Sexual Assault

Conor and I were sent to do our usual patrol around the chosen area. The night was usual, like all the ones before this one. It was Friday night, and many people were having fun outside, getting drunk, and doing drugs. I was once like them. Careless. I guess that’s what my tattoos say about me when someone from the other departments at work sees them for the first time. I try to wear long sleeves and jackets, but when it’s too hot, I have to show off my proud work.

I would never get rid of them. They are a part of me. Of my imperfect past that will stay with me till the day that I die.

I grew up in the poorer parts of my hometown. I was never bullied, which I was thankful for. But many kids weren’t used to meeting Korean people. Let alone being in class with them. I always got the stares and whispers, but no one dared to say a word to me. I guess a part of the reason was that they’d seen my huge, 6’7“ father, who always persisted in walking me to school.

My mother was constantly worried and paranoid that people wanted to kidnap me and sell me for organs. My father was losing his mind because of that. He even urged her to go to therapy. My mother went through a lot of shit during her childhood. Parts of her were not healed when I was born. Thankfully, after a couple of years when I got older, her worry subsided and she no longer was so stressed for me.

Both of my parents are still together, living in the countryside. They have a small farm and a few gorgeous black horses that I rode a few times. I visit them during the holidays.

They are proud of me. That their daughter became a police officer who is highly respected.

As we stopped at the gas station, Conor asked me, “Want some coffee?”

“Cigarettes,” I replied with a grin, and he laughed.

“Roger,” he said and gave me a salute. I shook my head, and he exited the car.

I checked my phone for any text messages, but it was dry. I frowned and opened a social media app. Nothing but a boring news popped out. Before I knew it, Conor came back with my cigarettes and his coffee. I exited the car and shut the door. I leaned against the hood of the car and grabbed the cigarettes from his hand which was reaching to me. I quickly unpacked them and placed one between my lips, then lit it.

I took a deep drag into my lungs, feeling immediately better. One day I will stop smoking. Just not today . A thought of an everyday smoker.

“Doesn’t it seem it’s too quiet for a Friday?” Conor asked.

I exhaled the smoke. “Maybe because all the young people are in the clubs and not drinking at the gas station?” I said in an obvious tone, and Conor narrowed his brown eyes at me.

I looked at him with an expression that said, What? But he only rolled his eyes. I love it when we get paired. He has been my friend since I started working as an officer. He’s probably the only person here that I truly like.

“I need a vocation.” I burst out.

Conor chuckled and finished his coffee, then threw the plastic cup into the trash can from a distance. “I need it as well, Miya. Don’t act so important.” He teased.

I nudged him into his shoulder and leaned off the hood. I threw the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. We got back in the car and drove off to our next destination. Where it was the busiest.

Conor was slowly driving through the narrow, busy streets, but nothing dangerous was happening anywhere. So, we decided to park the car on the sidewalk and walk around the club building.

This was usually the only club in the town where shit happened every single night. It was weird that we hadn’t gotten any calls about fights or drugging drinks.

We checked this small alleyway every time we passed past it. Not even once something happened there, but my instincts told me to run there immediately.

“Conor, go from the other side,” I whispered.

“Is something wrong?” He asked quietly.

I nodded, and he immediately hurried the other way. I pulled out my gun, aiming it to the ground. Silently, I strode to the two trash containers that were beside each other. There was a gap between them, and something moved there. My senses were on overdrive, my body buzzing with adrenaline.

I loaded the gun and pointed it to the space between the trash containers, slowly drawing closer. And as I went closer, I became more aware of what I was seeing. I could make out a pair of legs thrashing in the dark space, the movement frenzied and chaotic.

My heart banged in my chest as I saw a girl being strapped by a older man. Her top was gone, and the man’s hands held her wrists to the side of her head. Her long blond hair covered her face, and sobbing escaped her mouth.

I had to stop myself from firing a bullet through his brain and merely kicked him in the head with my boot. I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him away from the girl. Then I kicked him between his legs, and he groaned in pain. The sound of music filled my ears.

Man agony.

I turned him to his stomach and immediately cuffed his wrists behind his back, pressing my foot onto his lower back the entire time. Conor ran to me, helping me hold him down.

“Did he…” He didn’t dare to finish the sentence.

I swallowed hard and glanced at the girl who was lifelessly lying down on the cold ground.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled and spun, heading to the girl. I took off my jacket and crouched down next to her. I moved a few strands of her blond hair away from her face, and she seemed to be conscious.

“I’m Officer Kim. You’re safe now. We won’t harm you.” I said and roamed my eyes down her body. Her jeans were still up, and I couldn’t detect any blood. But if we were a minute late—

No.

I can’t think of that. 

I wrapped the jacket around her bare chest and lifted her into my arms. I turned to Conor, who was already calling a backup.

“I’m taking her to the hospital. Please, don’t let him get away.” I said.

Conor smacked him with a gun and smiled. “Don’t underestimate me.”

I faintly smiled and hurried to the car. Our colleagues were pretty near because when I unlocked the car, they were already there.

I opened the back door and gently placed her on the seats to keep her lying down. She had some bruises over her face and neck, and I could only hope there weren’t any hidden beneath her jeans.

I drove past the speed limit with the sirens on and pulled to the nearest hospital. I called them beforehand so they would be ready for our arrival.

It took them half an hour to let me know how bad her condition was. It seemed that the man inserted a needle into her and drugged her. She wasn’t able to fight off. Her body was numb.

I should’ve blown his brains off, I thought as I walked back and forth in the waiting room.

My phone started to ring, and Conor was calling me.

Conor:

There’s a ninety-nine percent chance he will get arrested, but we still need her statement.

Miya:

She’s getting treated right now, but I’ll try to find her guardians.

I hung up and waited for the nurse to return. She needs to get the justice she deserves. God knows how many women and girls were overpowered by this fucker. How many times he got away with this and the victims didn’t get their justice.

The nurse exited the room where the girl was treated.

“Excuse me,” I stopped her. “We need to speak to her parents because of the statement. Is there any chance I can get her name and age?”

The nurse sighed, worry across her face. “I spoke to the girl, and it seems she is an orphan. She has no one at all. She turned nineteen just a few weeks ago, and she has been at the orphanage for years. She didn’t want to talk anymore after I asked that.”

“Oh.” That was all I could utter. I was speechless. Horrified.

The nurse then left, and I had to take a seat.

That sick fuck will pay for her suffering and for all the other victims. I will make sure of it.

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Heyyyy, so I’m back again. I know y’all have missed me, lol. 

Follow me on my socials and don’t forget to

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2 - Helping

I came back to the hospital the next day. I didn’t want to pressure the girl to speak. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through, and she was absolutely alone.

Conor wanted to join me, but I told him to rather stay at the station. I’m sure the girl wouldn’t appreciate seeing a man so soon.

I walked inside the building, talked to the receptionist, and explained the situation. However, it seemed she was already aware of it. Gossip spreads fast.

A nurse accompanied me into the room where the girl was hospitalized. She opened the door and let me go in first. The girl was turned to the window, so I couldn’t see her face.

The nurse walked over to her and explained the situation. She merely nodded, and the nurse left me with her alone. I settled down onto the chair that was placed in the middle of the room and clicked the pen I was holding to write everything down.

“Hello,” I began softly, keeping my tone steady. “I’m Officer Kim. I know this is the last thing you want to do right now, but it would help us tremendously if you’d tried to explain everything that happened yesterday. Anything you can tell us will make a difference.”

She stayed motionless, her back to me, the hospital gown hanging loosely off her frail shoulders. For a moment, I wondered if she even heard me.

The girl’s name was Ivy Owens. She was placed in an orphanage at the age of twelve. Her father and mother both lost her due to drugs. As of now, they’re still using narcotics and haven’t quit. They don’t even live in a house, but on the streets. Anywhere outside where it’s available.

Ivy started working shortly after she left the orphanage. For some time, she lived the same way as her parents, on the street, but since she started working and saved up some money, I suppose, she slept in some cheap motels.

She didn’t respond to me for a while. I was sure I wouldn’t get an answer from her, but then she slowly sat up and tucked the strands of her long blond hair behind her ear. Her blue eyes pierced mine, empty and lifeless, like a shell.

It broke my heart to see that.

“I was walking home from work,” she started, her voice quiet and hoarse, like it hurt just to speak. “There’s this alley…I don’t usually take it, but I was tired, and it was shorter.”

She paused, swallowing hard. I waited, giving her the space she needed.

“I didn’t hear anyone behind me. Didn’t see anything. I just felt…the needle. It went into my arm so fast, I didn’t even have time to scream.” Her hands trembled as she gripped the edge of the blanket. “I fell. I couldn’t move. Everything went blurry.”

“Is there anything else you can remember?” I asked gently. “Anything at all?”

She shook her head. “It happened too fast. I didn’t even see his face.”

I clenched the pen in my hand, fighting the urge to say something-anything-to make it better. But there were no words for this.

I nodded. “Thank you for telling me. I know that wasn’t easy.”

I wrote her statement down, added in her personal information, and stood up from the chair to let her sign it off with her signature. As I held out the paper and pen to her, I couldn’t ignore the bruises, dark circles under her eyes, and bony cheeks. She was a very pretty girl, even in this state.

“Is that it?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

“For now,” I said. “But if you remember anything-no matter how small-you can reach out to me anytime.”

As I turned to leave, her voice stopped me in my steps.

“Will he go to jail?”

I turned to her; worry splashed across her face. “I promise you, I will make sure he will rot in there.”

A tear slowly rolled down her cheek, and not a lot was missing for me to start crying. I said goodbye to her and left the hospital. It was hard to be in her presence. She was going through so much, and I had no clue how to comfort her. She had lost her parents and hardly had a place to live, let alone bread to eat.

This world was cruel and unfair. And even though I couldn’t get rid of every criminal on this planet, I’d still try to get rid of the most I can while I live.

• • •

The drive back to the station was a blur, the road stretching endlessly ahead as Ivy’s empty eyes haunted me. I gripped the wheel tighter, trying to shake the image, but it clung to me like a shadow.

My mind was too uneasy to focus, my thoughts circling back to her bruises, her hollow voice, and the unbearable weight of everything she’d been through.

By the time I pulled into the station parking lot, I was already reaching for my pack of cigarettes-only to remember I didn’t have any. I slammed the car door a little harder than necessary, muttering under my breath as I strode inside.

The whole time at the station, I couldn’t focus on my work. My computer was turned on, but I couldn’t pay attention to the small letters. Ivy Owens filled my entire head and her unfortunate fate.

She needed an angel to come into her life. An angel who could make her life better and easier. To give her the will to live fully again.

I opened her profile case on the computer and stared at it for what felt like hours. She had no living relatives, no friends, and no connections. Her life got ten times worse since yesterday, and it wouldn’t become better out of nowhere.

I sighed and leaned into my palms, my elbows resting on the desk.

“I have what you need, Officer Kim.” Conor’s voice brought my face up.

He held a pack of cigarettes in his hand, and my eyes grew wide. That’s exactly what I needed. Nicotine.

“Thank God you exist,” I announced, and he laughed. Together we went to the roof to smoke.

Conor always had cigarettes for me since I never had any with me. We made a deal a long time ago that I could only smoke when I was with him since I was too deeply addicted a few years ago. Now I smoke one cigarette per day, trying to quit once and for all, but something comes into my healing path every week and I start smoking again.

“Are you so unbearable because of what happened yesterday?” Conor wondered after five minutes of silence.

I rolled my eyes, exhaling the smoke. “Do you have a problem with me? If so, then deal with it yourself.” I snapped.

“Oh, please, calm down.” He bumped his fist into my arm gently.

I bounced slightly, narrowing my gaze at him.

“I want to help her,” I murmured and looked at the ground. I felt Conor’s eyes bore into me.

“You’re not the only one who feels this way. We’ve all experienced this, Miya.” He said and tossed the burned cigarette away.

I sighed loudly and swiftly pulled the gun from the holster. I quickly loaded it, ready to shoot to the sky, when Conor’s hands stopped me.

“Woman, calm down! Do you want to get fired?!” He shouted, creased on his forehead.

A smirk slowly crept to my face. Conor shoved me, and I cackled.

“You’re not sane.” He pointed an accusatory finger at me.

“I’m a cop. Of course, I’m not sane.” I joked, and his lips turned into thin line.

“I’m leaving.” He whirled and rushed back inside, flipping me off.

I cocked my head heavenward and stared at the clouds and blue sky. Birds flying around and music coming from down the street.

Even small things like this made me want to live. Would Ivy feel the same way when she leaves the hospital? Would such small things make her day?

I doubt.

Miracles don’t happen. One can’t save himself, if they hit the rock bottom. I experienced that. Just a few years ago, and if it wasn’t for Conor, God knows how would I live now. Perhaps without a job, and friendship. Just by myself, still depressed.

I despise that version of me. I don’t ever want to bring it back from dead because what is no longer alive should stay buried. And I want the same for Ivy. Destroy the non living part of her, and save the remaining living part.

I pulled my phone from my pocket, the weight of it suddenly feeling heavier than usual, and dialed the number I’d gotten earlier that morning. Clearing my throat, I tried to steady myself. This wasn’t protocol-far from it-but I didn’t care.

“Good afternoon. I’m Officer Kim. I spoke with you this morning.” My voice was calm, professional, even as my mind raced. “The patient is called Ivy Owens. Do you have an update on when she’s expected to be discharged?”

There was a pause, followed by the sound of a typing keyboard. “Friday,” the nurse replied.

“Friday? Thank you so much for the information. Have a nice day.” I said to the nurse and hung up.

The logical part of me screamed that this was a bad idea. The risks were obvious-professionally, personally. But logic had never been my strong quality.

Ivy Owens couldn’t go back to the life she’d been barely surviving. Not after this. The thought of her returning to some dirty motel room, haunted by memories of what had happened, made my stomach churn. She deserved a chance-a real one.

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and straightened my shoulders. My decision was already made, even if I was still trying to convince myself it wasn’t insane.

As I walked back inside, a sudden burst of energy coursed through me. There was so much to do-a bed to buy, space to clear, explanations to prepare. But for the first time all day, I felt something close to hope.

Ivy wouldn’t be alone anymore. Not if I could help it.

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Btw, Ivy is kind of inspired by the dark romance books I’ve read. So don’t be surprised about her toxic behavior.

3 - Understanding

Friday came, and I had my day off. The timing couldn’t be more perfect. Very early in the morning, I prepared everything for Ivy’s arrival.

I bought her a new bed, dresser, desk, and many other stuff. I even bought her clothes, but I’m sure the sizes were wrong.

It may sound bad, but it felt like I was a kid again, buying new stuff for my dog. Of course, Ivy was a human being, and she meant much more than just a pet. But I didn’t think of her as my daughter, even though I was thirty-one years old.

Young people say people around that age are old, but I’m greatly offended by that. Yes, I don’t understand all the new slangs and trends, but I don’t feel ancient. I don’t feel like the mummy. Maybe like a grandma sometimes.

So, I’ve picked everything that is trendy and neutral since I had no idea what color she likes. Hell, I didn’t know what food she ate or if she wanted to stay with me. I should’ve asked her that before I bought everything, huh? Well, too late for that.

When noon came, I drove off to the hospital, finally not dressed in my uniform but in comfortable sweatpants and a hoodie.

Once I parked and got inside, I immediately informed the nearest nurse about taking Ivy away. The nurses looked like they were glad someone would take care of her and she wouldn’t be left at her own mercy.

Quietly, I strode into her room, seeing her standing

before the large glass wall, staring outside.

I closed the door behind me, and that startled her.

She looked at me petrified, but when she recognized me, her shoulders dropped. She crossed her arms over her chest and got on top of the bed.

“Hey,” I said awkwardly.

She didn’t answer, only glared at me.

“This may look insane to you, and I’ll understand if you refuse me, but since you’re being discharged today and you have nowhere to go, I thought you could stay with me for some time.” I proposed.

Her eyebrows furrowed. That’s probably a bad sign.

“If you want, of course,” I added and put my arms behind my back.

She looked away and, after a few seconds, shrugged. Her eyes were focused on the floor, her fingers fidgeting and her body slightly shivering as she wore a hospital gown that was thin as a paper.

“I brought you new clothes. I don’t think the size will match though.” I placed a bag on the bed, and she peeked inside, looking a bit interested.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at me. “Why are you doing all this? What’s in it for you?” She asked.

“Nothing. I just want to help you. That’s all.” I replied instantly, my face serious.

She ignored me and grabbed the bag. She took out the powder pink hoodie, examining it, paying me a confused glance.

“Do you not like it?” I wondered, coming closer to the bed.

She shrugged again but didn’t place the hoodie back inside the bag. She held it tightly in her grip.

“There are sweatpants as well. I had no idea what type of clothes you like to wear, but you can choose whatever you like, and I’ll buy it for you.” I said.

Silence ruled over for a few moments. I was sure she would send me to hell.

“I’ll change.” She mumbled, and I couldn’t believe my ears.

I hid the happiness as much as I was able to. Internally, I was in a frenzy. I controlled my smile and nodded, leaving her to have some privacy.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when she got into my car. She didn’t have many belongings but one huge purse with everything inside.

I maintained a distance between us so I wouldn’t touch her. But as she struggled with the seatbelt, her hands trembling, I leaned over to help. My fingers brushed against hers for a short moment. She didn’t flinch, but she immediately retreated.

I understood her reaction and I didn’t mind it. I was glad she wasn’t scared of me.

Slowly, I drove home to my apartment. I always had one spare bedroom for guests. Since I had no friends coming over or my parents visiting, it became a storage room. It took me two hours to clean it all.

I parked the car in front of the building, helping Ivy with the seatbelt again. She was a bit weak. I’m sure she didn’t eat much at the hospital.

Then I walked around the car and opened the door for her. She carefully exited the car,

clutching her purse.

I beckoned her inside the building as the doors were unlocked. When we reached the elevator, a man was already waiting. Ivy froze. Her entire body stiffened, her gaze fixated on him like he was some kind of predator. I could see her hands trembling again, clutching the strap of her purse until her knuckles turned white.

I was living on the fifth floor; walking there would take us a long time with her health condition.

“Can I touch you?” I asked her.

She hardly tore her gaze from the man in front of us. She pierced through my gaze, her body quivering.

“I will touch you now, okay?” I whispered and placed my palm on her eyes. With my other hand, I supported her back.

“Take a deep breath,” I murmured, rubbing her back. “In… and out. You’re safe.”

She followed my instructions, though her breaths were shaky at first. The elevator arrived, and the man stepped inside.

Once he was gone, I pressed the button again and we waited.

After a few moments, her breathing slowed down, though her body remained tense.

Some minutes later, the elevator came, and we entered it. I kept my distance again, as I thought it was for the best. The doors opened directly in front of my apartment. I pulled out my key card, unlocking the door quickly.

I let Ivy go in first. Careful and scared, she darted inside. I was right behind her. I lit up the entrance hall, illuminating it. Ivy stopped inside, her eyes scanning every detail-the floor tiles, my shoes. The small painting I had hung of black roses.

I took off my shoes and moved beside her.

“Here’s the kitchen emerged with a living room.” I pointed at it. “And here’s my room. Yours is next to mine.” I explained.

She peeked inside the kitchen and living room, and before walking further in, she took off her sneakers.

“You want to see your room?” I asked, and she nodded.

Together we went into her bedroom. I turned on the light and folded my arms. Her eyes widened. She examined every single thing, going back and forth as if she couldn’t believe her eyes.

“You bought all of this for me?” She asked.

I chuckled. “Yes, I did. I picked up what I thought you would like or what I’d like if I was your age.”

She glanced at me as if only realizing I was older than her. Many people told me I didn’t look my age, but I no longer felt like a teenager. Inside, I was a one thousand-year-old vampire.

She ran her hand over the edge of the desk, her expression unreadable.

“Thank you,” she said, so softly I almost missed it.

“If there’s anything you want to change, just tell me. Now, I’ll go order us some food. You must be hungry.” I said and exited her room. She needed time to adjust to a new place. To me.

I was an awful cook. Every time my parents came over and I had to make something for them as they don’t eat takeout or fast food, I got scolded. The food was somehow edible. But was burned and uncocked most of the time. So, ordering a pizza was the rational solution.

Once I ordered three pizzas, I took off my hoodie and changed into a short-sleeve T-shirt. Since I got so nervous about Ivy coming to my apartment, my blood pressure rose.

Was this the right thing? I have no clue how to raise someone or take care of them. I don’t even have a pet. Well, it’s not like Ivy is a child, but still, she needs some guidance.

“Uhm.” Her voice alarmed me.

I spun around, seeing her stand at the threshold.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, my eyebrows raised.

“Yes, I just need to find the bathroom.” She mumbled, and I could barely hear her.

I slapped my forehead. “Oh, right. I’m so stupid.”

I showed her where the bathroom was, and she thanked me. I nodded and went to make a strong coffee.

Ivy took a long time in there, and I was starting to get worried. What if she tried to do something to herself? Or am I overreacting?

The door to the bathroom opened, and I straightened my posture.

“Do you have a blow dryer?” She asked loudly.

I hurried to the bathroom to find her all wet, only dressed in a towel. I stared at her for too long, so I blinked my eyes and crouched down to the cabinet under the sink.

I don’t blow dry my hair since they’re not very long, and it’s honestly annoying for me, so I just threw it in the cabinet.

“Here,” I said as I handed it to her.

She faintly smiled and took it from me. I didn’t leave immediately. I watched her as she plugged the cord in and turned it on. But after a solid two minutes, her hand was lowering. She was still weak. She didn’t even eat anything.

I moved behind her, grabbing the handle of the blow dryer. My hand wrapped around hers, and she didn’t seem to mind it. Her skin was cold-too cold.

“Let me help you,” I said, and she let me.

Her hair was so long it took an hour to make it dry. They weren’t damaged or tangled anymore. They were shiny and beautiful.

“I didn’t want to make your bed and sheets dirty.” She suddenly said when I brushed her hair.

I stopped midway and then continued. “It’s your bed now. And you wouldn’t make it dirty.”

She turned to me, and I noticed all the bruises that the fucker left behind on her fragile body. I forced my eyes up to not let her notice. But it was difficult. I was reminded of what happened, and my blood boiled again.

“I want to thank you for saving me, Officer.” She stared into my eyes.

I smiled. “Don’t thank me. And call me Miya.” I extended my hand toward her.

Her gaze dropped down and back up. “Okay, Miya.” She shook my hand.

After that, the pizza delivery came, and together we ate in the living room. I gave her at least three blankets and turned on some sitcom.

It was unusual to have someone new in my home. This feeling was unknown. Weird. Curious.

I watched her as she stuffed her mouth with the pizza and I secretly smiled. I was overjoyed to see her eat. To see a glimpse of hope of her being happy.

⸻⸻

4 - Explaining

The next morning, I was back at work, my mind already elsewhere. Before leaving, I’d walked Ivy through the basics of my apartment—the quirks of the thermostat, the coffee machine that needed a little extra care, and where to find the spare towels. I told her to call me if she needed anything, but she never did. Not even once.

I was worried.

“Daydreaming, Officer Kim?” Conor jolted me out of my head.

We were on patrol together. Driving through the town.

“Pay attention to the road.” I scolded him.

He just laughed, reaching for the radio to put on some music. I’m glad he did so. That way I was focused on the music and not on Ivy. Or at least not entirely.

“How’s your mom doing these days? Any plans to visit her soon?” he asked after a moment.

“She’s doing well,” I replied, glancing out the window. “Still busy with the farm and my dad. I’ll visit her soon, though I’m preparing for the usual lecture about being single.”

Conor turned right and then went straight ahead. Everything looked calm. No chaos, fights, or suspicious behavior.

“You know, maybe you should lie to her. Say that you’re dating someone, but it’s fresh. That way she won’t ask to meet him.” He speculated.

I frowned, half-smiling at the absurdity. “Him?”

Conor sighed, annoyed. “I didn’t know you already announced your sexuality to the world.”

“You have no clue how Asian parents are! She wants me to find a husband who is a doctor or a lawyer. Who is a bit older than me and has a lot of money saved in his bank account.”

Conor stopped at the gas station and put the car in the park. “One day you will have to tell her the truth, Miya.” He said to get out of the car to buy a coffee.

The first person I’d come out to was my dad. He was the easiest to confess to. I’ve never felt I had to hide things from him. I was relieved he didn’t mind it and that he supported me.

Second was Conor. He never judged me or made me feel like some weirdo. Even some of my coworkers know about me.

But my mother? That was different. I always felt I would disappoint her with this information. Ever since I was out of college, she couldn’t wait to be a grandmother. To organize a wedding for me.

I never had the guts to tell her she wouldn’t be a grandmother. That I won’t marry a rich doctor.

Conor doesn’t understand me. It feels like I’ve failed my mother in some way, and because she’s so proud of me for building such a career, I didn’t want to ruin it.

I got out of the car, waiting for him to return and give me a cigarette. This was our unspoken routine—smoke breaks at gas stations, sharing some quiet moments before diving back into the chaos.

“Waiting for me as a dog?” He shouted, and I rolled my eyes. He handed me the pack of cigarettes, and I couldn’t wait to feel the nicotine fill my lungs.

“You’re suspiciously quiet about your situation .” I teased, exhaling the smoke.

Conor stirred his coffee, staring into the swirling liquid like it held all the answers. “I don’t think it will work out. She’s beautiful, smart, and intelligent, but it feels like I’m not doing enough for her. We’re not even at the stage where we can talk about being serious.” He confessed.

I came closer to him and tapped his shoulder. “I’m not surprised.”

He immediately kicked me in my knee, and I wheezed in pain. “I’m kidding! I wasn’t serious, God.”

“Then don’t say such things! You always make me feel like shit.” He pouted.

“After all these years working together, you still can’t get my humor?” I shook my head in disbelief. “She’s a fool for not wanting a relationship with you. If I was into men, I’d marry you.” I winked at him.

He narrowed his eyes at me. “I don’t know if I should hate you or love you.”

I smiled. “Both, Conor. Both.”

We got back into the car and finished the rest of our route. I told Conor to take me home because I wasn’t sure if I unplugged the hair straightener.

He almost smacked me in the face after hearing that.

However, he had no clue I was lying. I just needed a reason to get back home and check on Ivy. I couldn’t spend my whole shift thinking something happened to her.

Once we stopped before my apartment, I rushed out of the car and impatiently waited for the elevator. It felt like hours passed since it came down.

I quickly unlocked the door, and when I took steps to the living room, I found Ivy sitting cross-legged on the fluffy black carpet, folding freshly laundered clothes.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

She jolted, spinning toward me. Her eyes widened, and her chest rose and fell in quick, uneven breaths.

“I-I thought I could help you with the laundry.” She replied.

I took off my boots and walked toward her. “You don’t have to do any of that. You should be resting in bed. You’re not fully recovered.” I scolded her in the softest voice possible, a few octaves higher.

“But you brought me into your home. A stranger. I have to repay you somehow for your kindness.” Ivy reasoned.

I crouched down and took the laundry out of her hand. “It’s not your responsibility to repay me. I’m doing this out of my own will. No one is forcing me to take care of you. So please, just rest for now, and later we will talk about the household matters.”

She ducked her head down and bit on her lower lip.

Was I too harsh? Fuck.

I placed my hand on top of her head and stroked it. “Sorry. I’m just worried about you.”

She looked up at me with her big blue eyes, and something inside of me snapped.

We stared at each other for several seconds. My pulse quickened, and I didn’t understand why. Why would her eyes make me uneasy all of a sudden?

Everything was ruined when the front door busted open and Conor showed up at the doorsteps, out of breath.

“What is she doing here?!” He asked, gasping for air.

I immediately rose to my feet and hid Ivy behind my legs.

“She? I don’t see anyone.” I panicked, and Conor frowned.

“Really? Are you five years old?” He said and took a step forward. Ivy immediately grabbed the back of my knees.

“Don’t take another step forward!” I said, my tone firm. “Can’t you see she’s afraid of you?!”

He placed his hands on his hips. “Miya, what is Ivy Owens doing in your apartment?” He questioned, his tone no longer playful.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. My head was starting to hurt. “I’ll explain everything on our way back. Wait for me in the car.”

He stared at me for a moment, and then without a word left my apartment. Despite his leaving, Ivy still held me; her fingers bore into my skin.

I turned to Ivy and roamed my fingers through my hair. “Conor is a great guy. I know you don’t believe me now, but soon, when you see him more, you’ll understand he means no harm. He saved you as well.” I softly said.

She didn’t say anything; she just stared at me. I analyzed the living room, and everything seemed to be fine. She didn’t need my help. I guess I underestimated her. She lived on her own for a whole year. It’s not like she’s a child.

“I have to go now. I’ll be home by eight. And order a pizza or hamburger, or whatever you prefer to eat. Just ask them to leave it by the door.” I added and smiled before I left.

She wouldn’t know if the delivery person was male or not, so it’s better to not risk anything while I’m not at home.

When I got back to the car, Conor’s eyes pierced at me. He demanded an explanation and a good one.

I slid down in the passenger seat and spread my legs.

“I couldn’t overlook her like some pet on the road. She needed help—a home. Don’t judge me, Conor.” I stated.

He took a deep breath. “I’m not. But you can’t just take some random kid from the hospital and act as if you knew her for years. What if she’s dangerous? Does she take any medications? Is she ill? You have no idea what her mental state is.” Conor argued.

I snapped my head at him. “Mental state?” I laughed in disbelief. “She’s not crazy. She’s just a lonely girl who needs someone by her side.” I burst out.

Then we sat in silence for some minutes until we both calmed down.

“I know you want to help her. And I’m not saying she’s crazy. I’m just worried about you. You know better than anyone in this field how unpredictable people are. I don’t want you to regret this decision when she gets attached to you.” Conor softly pointed out.

I rearranged myself in the seat and buckled up. “She won’t stay with me until the day I die. Only for some time, when she finds a good job and saves some money.”

Conor shook his head as he started the car. “If you think you will get rid of her so easily, then you’re a fool.”

⸻⸻

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5 - Asking

Today I decided to have a talk with Ivy. After giving it some thought, I realized she needed something to do besides sitting on the couch all day, watching TV. Being alone for hours while I was at work couldn’t be good for her, so this seemed the most reasonable.

We sat in the living room on the couch. The TV was playing as background noise at a lower volume. Ivy was paying attention to it, though. I noticed she always does it. But I wanted to talk, not to watch the shitty shows.

“I said we would talk about the household matters. So I decided from now on, you should fold the laundry. I suck at it, and that’s why my clothes are wrinkled most of the time.” I laughed, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Are you okay with that?”

She nodded, paying full attention to me. She was hugging her knees, her chin resting on top of them. She was wearing an oversized beige sweater and black leggings that I bought her. She looked so cute.

I can think that, right?

Hmm, probably not.

“Do you have any questions? I mean, about anything really.” I said, trying to maintain a conversation with her. She hardly ever speaks to me.

Her eyes moved from side to side as if she needed to create a reason to ask me something.

Finally, she spoke, “Could I use your kitchen once a week?”

The request caught me off guard. “You can use it every day if you want,” I said with a shrug. “I barely cook anyway. And when I do? Disaster.”

A small laugh escaped her lips. She picked up her mug of tea, holding it close.

We needed to get to know each other better, to destroy the barrier of protection. I was an introvert, so it was hard for me to open up to people, but with Ivy, I feel like I can be myself, like she wouldn’t judge me.

“Let’s ask each other three questions about ourselves. I want to get to know you, Ivy.” I announced.

She took a sip of the tea before answering. “Okay.”

I cleared my throat and sat cross-legged to be more comfortable. “What is your favorite color?”

“I think pink and black.” She replied. “What about you?”

“As you can see, everything in this apartment is black. So I’d definitely say black, but I love gray and purple.” I answered.

We were silent for some seconds. I wanted her to ask me something in return. Or maybe she didn’t want to know anything about me. I was boring anyway. Except for work, I barely had time for hobbies. I love to go to the gym and eat unhealthy food. Rewatch my favorite movies over and over again. Go for walks at the park and annoy Conor until he is sick of me.

“How old are you?” Ivy suddenly asked, examining my face. I returned to reality from my thoughts at the speed of the light.

“I’m thirty-one. Do I look old?” I joked, laughing.

She flushed, shaking her head. “N-No, you don’t.”

I smiled and leaned against the back of the couch. “That makes my ego bigger,” I said. “Might be careful with that.”

Since I knew her age, I didn’t ask about it. But it was interesting; she chose to ask me this out of all the numerous options. 

“Do you think it’s weird that I brought you into my home without knowing you? I mean, I’m so much older than you; you might be uncomfortable. I didn’t even reconsider that—” I burst out.

“No!” She cut me off. “I-I’m thankful. I can tell you have a good heart, and I don’t care for your age.” 

I nodded and focused my attention on the TV screen. Why did it suddenly become awkward? And why did I feel so much tension in the air?

“Oh, and I’d like to look for a job,” Ivy announced, changing the topic.

I snapped my gaze at her. “Job? You still need to rest. And I make enough money to take care of you.” I said, confidently.

She waved her hands in disagreement. “I’d like to make my own money again. Please, let me work on myself.”

I sighed and stretched my legs on top of the couch. “Let’s give it a few more weeks, and then we will look for a job for you.”

She smiled and nodded.

She was nineteen, so of course she wanted to have a job and save up money, but I needed her to be completely okay mentally. She might act fine in front of me, but I have no clue what’s running up her mind. Is she thinking about what happened or what would happen if we didn’t help her? 

I wanted to ask, but I knew better. Such questions were too early to be spoken.

I looked at the time; it was almost nine o’clock. It’s the time I usually go to the gym for an hour or two, but today I decided to work out at home. I wanted to spend more time with Ivy since I’m always at work. We only see each other for a couple of hours before going to bed. I basically know nothing about her.

I got off the couch and changed into gym shorts and a sports bra. I tied my hair in a low ponytail and returned to the living room. Ivy was still sitting on the couch, drinking the tea.

I grabbed the TV remote and connected to Spotify to play my workout playlist.

“You won’t mind if I’ll have a small workout here, right?” I asked.

She looked at me up and down. “N-No, it’s alright.” She stuttered.

I thought she would leave to her bedroom, but she didn’t move an inch. Her eyes never straying from me.

I was used to people watching me work out. Especially at the gym where it’s crowded. I always had my headphones on and shut off the outside world. Some men stared at me as if craved their attention or approval. 

The music started to play, and I was slowly setting myself into the right mood. I rolled down the gym mat in the middle of the living room and stretched my body.

Today I decided to do thirty push-ups. For some, it was a crazy number, and for others it was lame. I never pushed myself against my limits. I knew what I was capable of.

I was used to worse at the police academy. I gained a lot of muscles, and they’re visible on my arms, thighs, and stomach. But I’m still trying to keep my feminine figure. I don’t want to be too bulky.

I positioned myself on my knees and then moved my hands in front of me. I started doing push-ups, feeling the muscles tense everywhere, but especially in my arms.

I was breathing heavily, exhaling through my nose.

In the periphery of my eye, I caught Ivy staring at me. As if she purposely wanted to stay in the living room to watch me.

Or maybe I just imagined it all.

When I ended my last push-up, Ivy sprang from the couch into the kitchen. She returned with a glass full of icy water.

She handed me the glass, looking worried.

“I’m fine.” I breathed. “I’m used to such exercises.”

Her arms were folded, eyebrows knitted. She didn’t believe me for some reason.

I stood up, my chest falling rapidly up and down. “You have really long hair,” I said and stretched my hand to grab a few strands of her hair. Her hair was healthy even to the touch. They were soft and shiny.

My eyes rose back to her face, but she was focused on something else.

On the sweat dripping down my stomach.

“Ivy,” I murmured.

As if I woke her from a trance, she looked up at me. But she realized I caught her staring, so she looked away.

My fingers were still holding her hair for some reason. I decided to tuck them behind her ear. The skin contact electrifying when I grazed her skin.

She slightly shivered, her cheeks turning red. Adorable .

I immediately drew away, realizing what I was doing. I sighed.

She went through so much trauma, and I’m giving her no space. She must think I’m some weirdo.

I smiled, and sat down on the gym mat and looked through my text messages. Ivy, meanwhile, left for her bedroom, and I was relieved.

But at the same time terrified.

Why was my heart pounding so fast when I touched her?

⸻⸻

6 - Needing

A few days later, I woke up early for work. The small light in the kitchen was lit. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I changed into my uniform and strode to the kitchen.

Ivy was there, cutting vegetables and wearing only an oversized hoodie. Her long blond hair was tied into a high ponytail.

I quietly walked up behind her, staring at what she was preparing. A row of sandwiches was laid out beside her, with different kinds of chopped vegetables. I preferred fruit for breakfast, but something about the effort she was putting in warmed me.

“What are you making?” I whispered.

She jumped a little, the knife slipping out of her grasp.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to scare you.” I said, laughing.

She held herself against the kitchen counter, breathing heavily. “I-It’s okay, just please, don’t do it ever again.” She softly proclaimed.

She returned back to what she was doing, but I couldn’t help but notice how far she drew away from me.

“Making breakfast for yourself?” I asked, leaning against the counter with my arms folded.

She shook her head. “It’s for you.”

“For me?” I asked, shocked.

She cracked a smile and glanced at me before she spoke. “I will be cooking the lunch today. I know you will come home late, so you will have to heat it up. I hope that’s okay.”

I was speechless. She could cook? And here I was barely managing instant noodles most nights. I have never felt so embarrassed in my whole life.

“I’ll finally have a home-cooked meal,” I admitted, laughing lightly. “It’s been so long since I’ve had anything but takeout.”

She only smiled, reaching up to open the cabinet above the counter. My eyes, as if programmed, slid down her body. The hoodie barely covered her thighs, and my eyes quickly darted back up, heat rising to my face.

Fucking hell. What’s wrong with me? I can’t be checking out a nineteen-year-old girl. 

Nineteen.

I chose to stare at the wall ahead of me to avoid the forbidden apple.

“Miya?” She called.

I hummed in response, not meeting her gaze.

“Do you like lettuce?” She asked.

“I think so?” I said.

A couple of seconds passed in silence before she asked me something again, but I wasn’t paying attention. Ivy then moved in front of me, her big eyes staring at me. For some reason, I liked that she had to look up at me. She was so close I could feel the warmth radiating from her.

“Is something wrong? You didn’t answer me.” She wondered, studying my face.

I took a deep breath, trying to contain myself. I was supposed to take care of her. Instead, my head is messing with me. Playing pictures in my mind of what could happen if I only moved a bit closer to her.

I have to get out.

I leaned off the counter and grabbed the sandwiches that looked almost done. “I don’t need anything else in it. Thank you so much, but I have to go now.” I quickly said, and packed it into a lunch box.

She had no time to stop me. I hurried to escape her. To escape from what was happening between us. Or it was only me who saw that.

Everything is fine until I come home and I’m alone with her. Either in the living room or kitchen. I try to avoid such situations, but how can I constantly do that when we live together?

I don’t want to grow any feelings for her. She won’t stay with me for too long, and I’m too old anyway.

Because I was in a hurry, I forgot to say bye to her. I was already outside, getting into the car as Conor waited for me. I opened the door and got inside. I was out of breath as I took the stairs instead of the elevator.

“You missed me that much you had to run to me? Is it finally happening? The day you will tell me that you love me?” Conor joked.

I rolled my eyes, placing the lunch box and my stuff in the back seat.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself and drive off. We have work to do.” I scolded him, and he huffed. I know. I’m no fun at work.

• • •

From laughing and joking became the terror.

We got a call that someone had a gun in the mall, aiming it at people. With a backup, we rushed there. I barely registered the weight of my bulletproof vest or the gun in my hand as we stormed in, adrenaline drowning out everything else. Conor was right beside me as we sprinted inside. The shooter could strike at any time and kill more than just one person.

Not a single moment could be wasted in such a situation.

We located him in the middle of the mall. He was dressed all in black. Balaclava hiding his face. Once he noticed us, he loaded the gun, and my stomach twisted. Please, no.

“Put the gun down!” Conor yelled.

We all circled around him, so he had no chance to escape us. But the risk was big. He could kill any one of us if he wanted.

“Put the gun down. You don’t want to spend your entire life in jail.” I said, pointing my gun at him.

He fixed his gaze on all the people who couldn’t hide or leave anymore as he aimed his gun at them. They were terrified and powerless.

“Oh really?” He finally spoke, his voice raspy.

His eyes moved to a little boy who was being shielded by his mother. My finger tightened on the trigger.

“Now watch.” He shouted and fired right at the boy’s mother. She fell to her knees and then dropped to her back. The little boy stood there, frozen in shock. His eyes were wide with fear, and his mouth was wide open.

My eyes grew in horror. I should’ve killed him when I had the chance.

I immediately pressed the trigger, aiming at his stomach. Once he fell down, I ran to him, pinning him down with my heavy boot. I held the gun steady, making sure he was dead before I walked away.

“Conor! Ambulance immediately!” I yelled, and he dashed to the mother, pressing down on her wound to prevent her from bleeding out and shouting into the walkie-talkie for medical care.

The boy started to sob, clutching his mother’s arm. But the woman was barely conscious. She couldn’t comfort him. She lay motionless, her face pale and her eyes vacant. The boy’s cries echoed in the empty room.

People were rushed outside, chaos in the air, heavy and tense. From all the rage building inside me, I wanted to crash his skull and feed it to the wolves.

When I looked down, a pool of blood was all around him. He was dead. But I still couldn’t stop pressing my boot into him as if I was scared he’d do any more harm.

“Miss, stay with me,” Conor yelled, gently slapping her face, but it was too late. It was too late to save her.

I kicked my feet into the shooter’s body, so hard it hurt my toes.

“Take care of this fucker!” I commanded the other cops and helped Conor. I took off my jacket and pressed it into the woman’s wound.

Her eyes were barely open. The light in them was almost gone.

“P-please,” She stuttered, gasping for air. “My boy.”

“Ma’am, your boy is safe now. No danger can happen to him.” I said, holding her hand tightly.

Conor hoisted the boy into his arm, walking further away so he wouldn’t need to see his mother die. Such a trauma can be remembered even if they’re young.

“Tell him.” She whispered. “That I love him more than anything.”

Her eyes then blinked for the last time.

• • •

Going home felt like a privilege. The boy just lost his mother and the feeling of home. He’d be in foster care if he didn’t have a father or someone to take care of him. His life was now a living hell.

Meanwhile, I have both of my parents. I was sick.

I got inside the apartment, taking a long, cold shower immediately. I couldn’t sleep, even though it was eleven o’clock. My head was picturing the shooter. How carelessly he fired on a hopeless woman who only wanted to protect her child.

I walked into the living room, water dripping down the floor. I wore a bathrobe that was barely tied up. My eyes moved to the kitchen table with the food that Ivy cooked for dinner. Fuck, I was so excited to eat it.

But all my appetite vanished.

I opened the balcony and went outside. I lit up a cigarette Conor gave me when he took me home, and I took a long drag of it.

I loved my job. I always wanted to help people. But nothing can prepare you for losing. To lose against the evil people. I can’t bear the defeat. It’s eating me alive.

Until I was sure Ivy’s attacker was put in jail, I did everything in my power to let him rot in there. I was happy he wouldn’t hurt anymore. But even though I stopped a shooter today, one life was lost. Forever gone.

“Miya?” A soft voice alarmed me.

I turned around, and Ivy stood before me just in her tank top and panties, rubbing her eyes.

“Did I wake you up?” I asked, tossing the cigarette away.

“No, not at all. Did you eat? You should if you didn’t.” She said moving next to me.

My lips curled into a faint smile, and I turned around to look at the sky. “Thank you, but I’m not hungry at all,” I mumbled.

“Is everything alright?” Ivy wondered and drew closer.

I shook my head, leaning my forearms against the balcony rail. Before I could stop myself, tears streamed down my cheeks. I looked down and saw tears falling to the ground. I was a complete wreck.

Suddenly, her hand touched mine, and our eyes locked. Her eyebrows were knitted, sympathy written all over her face.

“I could’ve saved her.” I broke down. “If only I reacted quicker.”

I began to shake, the tears hard to manage. I don’t usually break down so easily. I keep my walls strong, but today they collapsed. I’m not shielded anymore.

Ivy patted my back with one hand, and the other held my hand tightly.

I don’t know what got into me, but I had to be comforted. I had to feel someone’s arms around me. I needed to be held and reassured. I wanted to be held and told that everything was going to be alright. I needed to feel the warmth of another human being.

My face fell into the crook of her neck, my tears still spilling. My arms wrapped around her body, and I let it all out.

“I-It will be alright.” She whispered, slightly shocked.

I felt her slender arms wind around me, holding me close. Her touch was gentle yet firm, giving me the support I desperately needed.

With my face nuzzled into her neck, I continued to cry, my tears staining her skin. But she didn’t pull away. Instead, she held me tighter, allowing me to release all the emotions boiling within me.

“Shh,” she whispered. “Let it all out. It’s going to be alright. I’m here.”

In her embrace, it truly felt like it all could be eventually okay. But I’d have to keep her. To cage her close to me. To never let her out of my sight. To never let her out of my grasp.

I needed her more than I thought.

⸻⸻

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7 - Holding

ONE YEAR LATER

Eating a home-cooked meal is everything compared to takeout.

Since Ivy started to cook, we haven’t ordered any more fast food. She even packs me lunch and breakfast. I’ve been eating healthier, even vegetables. Crazy, right? I can’t believe it either. Once she came into my life, she turned it upside down.

When my parents visited me, I had to lie that my friend needed somewhere to live since she got divorced. Such a stupid lie, but I couldn’t tell them I’d been living with a twenty-year-old girl. That I didn’t find myself a man, and that I’m not getting married.

I almost thought they wouldn’t buy it, especially my mom since Ivy looks very young to be married. However, she never asked any questions, and Ivy was at work that day, so she never saw her. Thank God. Otherwise, it wouldn’t turn out well. My mom is like an FBI agent.

My father did suspect me for a couple of minutes at first. But he didn’t ask me anything. He knows I hate when I’m forced to talk. If I have something to say, I will do so of my own will.

A lot has changed since the night at the balcony. Not only my eating habits but the relationship between me and Ivy.

After a couple of months, she changed into a different person. She began working in the grocery store and dyed her hair in a powder pink color. She became more confident and fearless. She started taking painting classes a couple of times a month, as she always wanted to know how to paint, and she even designs clothes for herself out of old fabric or clothes she found at the thrift store.

Now, she has her own money and could leave me behind for a new life and future.

But, after a year, she still hasn’t left my side.

It’s the other way around because now she can’t leave me alone even for a couple of minutes. She visits me at work and calls me when I have a break. She always has to make sure I’m doing well; otherwise, she’s worried about me.

She became attached to me.

I grabbed my phone and belongings, and before I left for work, I checked on Ivy in her bedroom. She was curled up like a kitten, her pink hair covering her face. I walked inside and tucked her in. She usually slept like this: one leg against the wall, the other hanging over the edge of the bed.

I brushed the hair from her face, and she shifted. I didn’t want to wake her up when she slept like a baby, so I turned on my heel towards the door. As I took a few steps, I came to a halt. Ivy’s arms wrapped around my stomach as she hugged me from behind.

“Go back to bed. It’s too early.” I whispered.

“Don’t forget your lunch.” She mumbled, half asleep, her forehead pressed against my back.

I chuckled and turned around, grabbing her shoulders. “Sleep. We will see each other when I get home.”

Ivy slammed herself against my chest, burying her face into my neck. I think I forgot how to breathe for a second. Why was the warmth of her body so compelling? I didn’t want her to let go of me. Even though it was wrong to feel that way. I loved her face buried in my neck. The sweet scent of hers filled my nose.

She messed with my head.

God, I could be her aunt.

I pulled back from her, creating a distance between us. “Bye,” I said and exited her bedroom. She still watched me as I was leaving. She does this a lot.

I grabbed my lunch and rushed down the stairs because Conor was waiting for me for ten minutes. I got inside the car, his eyes intently watching me.

“What?” I asked as I buckled up.

“That girl will be the end of you, Miya.” He said.

I rolled my eyes and huffed. “She just packs me lunch, nothing more, nothing less. You’re overreacting.”

He turned on the car and drove off the parking spot. “She does this every single day you work, which is like every single day. She’s obsessed with you.”

“Ugh, so what? Are you jealous that someone packs me lunch for work? She does it because she’s showing me her gratitude.” I stated.

Conor glanced at me, his eyes narrowed. “Gratitude, my ass. That girl wants you. If you could only see the look in her eyes when she visits you at work.” He remarked.

“There’s no such thing. I’m much older than her. She can’t like me.” I claimed.

“You’re so dense, Miya. Younger people can be attracted to older shit like us.” Conor said in disbelief.

I sighed. I hated arguing with Conor. Most of the time, he won over me. Even now, he was correct. But a part of me had to deny it. To believe such a thing is unacceptable.

“I think you should admit to yourself that what I’m saying is the truth.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s wrong!” I burst out. “I feel like a pervert, Conor. I’m soon in my mid-thirties. Ivy should be liking people in their twenties.”

He started to laugh, and I felt blood rush to my cheeks. I’m the smartest one between us too. I’m the leader; however, this time I felt like a kid who said something very embarrassing.

I nudged him into his shoulder and crossed my arms. “Yeah, keep laughing. As if your situation was any better than mine.” I muttered.

“Excuse you!” He snapped in a high-pitched voice. “Don’t compare your relationship with mine, okay?”

I turned my head at him, my brow raised. “Relationship? You mean hanging out with a woman for seven months without making it official? I mean, sure.”

For the rest of the ride, he was silent. I guess I hit the right spot. I was a bitch; I knew that, but Conor was used to it. He’d be angry at me for a couple of hours and then go back to speaking to me.

Each of us has a complicated love life.

• • •

Today I’d spent the time at the office, behind my desk. There was so much paperwork; that I’d have to work overtime to finish it on time. Thank God Conor exists and will help me with it. What would I do without him? Dealing with endless paperwork often feels overwhelming and monotonous, draining my energy. I prefer to be outside, where the danger happens. Where I can help people in need or catch the bad guys.

My phone vibrated with a new text message. I grabbed my phone, and an invisible thread tugged the corner of my mouth.

Ivy: Do you have a taste for a citrus pie? I may have overbaked it today, and we will be eating it until Christmas.

Miya: I wouldn’t mind it if I’m honest. I love the sweets more than Christmas food, lol.

Ivy: But I’m serious! Do your colleagues like pies?

Miya: I think so? Why?

Ivy: I’ll come over :)

I stared at my phone, frozen.

She visits me almost every single day. If she’s at work, during the lunch break, she comes over to eat with me. I told her it was not necessary, but she insisted.

Fuck, if I tell Conor she will come; he’d be right.

Miya: I’m a bit busy, though. What about next week?

Ivy: Next week?! The pies will be rotten by then…

I sighed and turned the phone screen off. There was no way to get out of this situation. Ivy somehow finds her way to me every single minute. She’s unstoppable.

“What’s up with that look on your face, Kim?” Brandon asked me as he sat down next to me behind his desk.

He was the nicest to me, if not too much. I guess he liked me, but he never asked me out. Thank God he didn’t. Just imagining the awkward scenario of me refusing him makes me cringe.

“It’s called beauty, Brandon.” I winked at him.

He shook his head with a smile.

As I was getting back to focusing on my work, the familiar voice greeting everyone in the hall alarmed me.

A few moments later, Ivy showed up on the doorstep. Her long pink hair was slightly wavy, cascading down her arms. She wore low-waisted gray jeans with a white tank top. In her grip, were packed lemon pies.

I sprang up from my seat and dashed to her. “Did you fly here? You got here so fast.” I said and helped her with the pies.

“Oh, well, I was already on my way here when I texted you. Don’t be angry.” She whispered.

This girl never listens to me. So, it’s pointless for me to say don’t go or don’t come here. She will do as she pleases, which is great, but not in this situation.

“Oh my god! You brought us something?” My coworker Hailey exclaimed, running to us.

She snatched the pies from my hand and observed them.

“I baked too much, so I thought I’d share it with you all. They’re lemon pies.” Ivy said.

“Do you want us to get fat, kid?” Conor chimed in.

He and Ivy don’t get along very well. Or at least they try to. Since that day he found her hiding behind my legs, both of them don’t like each other. Even when we go somewhere together, they act as if only I was there.

“Of course not. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.” She smiled at Conor, but I could tell it was a fake one. Full of dislike.

Hailey slapped Conor’s arm, frowning at him. “Don’t be rude to Ivy! She’s always so caring.”

Conor’s eyes grew wide, and I could tell a million thoughts rushed through his mind. And they weren’t nice.

Hailey took a portion of the pie, instantly eating. So did my other coworkers. Conor stared at it as if he craved it, but because Ivy made it, he wouldn’t take a single bite.

“Could you at least pretend to like me, Conor?” Ivy whispered, eyeing everyone to be sure they wouldn’t hear her.

He laughed and took a deep breath, turning his eyes to her. “Do I look like an actor?”

Please, God. Help me.

“That’s enough. Both of you.” I snapped, and they simultaneously looked at the ground, their heads lowered.

Suddenly, Brandon came. He stood beside me, his hip touching mine. He was totally uninterested in our conversation. He merely grabbed a piece of the pie and took a bite.

The cream was all over his mouth; I had to chuckle.

“Take a bite as well, Officer Kim. Join the club of I-don’t-know-how-to-not-eat-like-a-pig.” Brandon’s hand wrapped around my waist, and the other that was holding the pie drew to my mouth.

I leaned back, waving my hands. “I’d rather not. I don’t want to get dirty!” I shrieked.

“C’mon, a little fun won’t harm you.” He smiled with his teeth, his blond hair complimenting his deep blue eyes.

“Miya.”

I snapped my head at Ivy, who was glaring at me, her forehead creased and cheeks red as tomatoes.

Brandon drew away, but his hand was still on my waist.

“C-Can I talk to you outside?” She quickly asked, her fingers fidgeting.

“Sure.”

We left the room and walked upstairs to the roof. Ivy at first stared at the cloudless sky, her arms crossed, but her fingers were tapping.

I came closer to her, leaning down to look at her face. She met my gaze for some seconds before looking down.

“Did something happen you wanted to talk about outside?” I wondered.

“Uhm, I’m sorry for barging in there.” She said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

“It’s okay, Ivy. You don’t have to apologize—”

“I think I should, though. I know I always do this, but I can’t help myself.”

Her big eyes pierced into mine, setting her hand on my waist. I moved my gaze to her hand as she clutched onto my uniform.

“I’ve missed you.” She whispered and wrapped her arms around me.

I froze, not breathing for a few seconds.

Her hair flew in the air because of the breeze, and their strawberry scent filled my nostrils. I shouldn’t have liked how it felt to be embraced by her, but I did. I’ve liked it ever since she started to hug me. Sometimes my thoughts drift to something so twisted when her face is buried in my neck that I wouldn’t dare to speak it.

I let my hands hang in the air, but her body is calling me to touch her. To hold her tight.

Fuck.

“I-I have to go work now.” I stammered.

She lifted her head to look at me, and I swear I saw a glimpse of disappointment in them.

“Have a nice day. Don’t overdo yourself.” She said, her smile faint.

We walked together downstairs, and she said goodbye to my colleagues. Before she left, her eyes lingered on Brandon, and they narrowed.

It only lasted a couple of seconds, but it sent chills down my spine.

Was she jealous because he touched my waist?

⸻⸻

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8 - Breaking

My head was in chaos.

My entire being, in fact.

I was not present at work, even though I was sitting behind my desk and staring at the computer. I tried to get some work done, but it was impossible. Since yesterday, I can’t think straight.

I need Conor to throw a rock at me or something. Otherwise, I’ll get fired for the lack of work performance.

My fingers hovered over the keyboard, but my pulse was too distracting. I couldn’t calm it down since yesterday. I feel like a kid. This is definitely not normal.

Should I visit the doctor? I could be dying without knowing. It might have nothing to do with Ivy feeling jealous of my coworker. I don’t recall the last time someone was possessive of me. I didn’t date much since I had no time. Studying and work were played on repeat. That’s why I’m lonely in my thirties.

While my high school and college classmates are married and have multiple kids, I’m alone in my apartment with nothing but Netflix.

I don’t particularly like small children; however, I don’t hate them. I prefer the freedom, of course. No responsibility over small humans.

My phone buzzed, and that tore me from my thoughts. I picked it up and opened the text message from Ivy.

Ivy: You’re an angel, Miya.

I frowned; my heartbeat quickened.

Miya: Is everything alright?

Ivy: You have such pretty eyes.

Oh no. I was having a panic attack.

I immediately rushed to Conor and grabbed him by the collar of his uniform. “Hand me the poison,” I said, my eyes wide.

He got startled and eyed me. He didn’t ask me any questions, just gave me the pack of cigarettes. I snatched it from his fingers and ran to the roof. It wasn’t allowed to smoke there, but I needed the nicotine to calm me down.

Once I took a drag of it, my lungs filled with the poison, only then I could take a deep breath. I crouched down, roaming my hands through my hair in a frenzy. Then rubbing the back of my neck.

If I had a mirror in front of me, I’d surely be flushed.

Fuck me for acting like a goddamn teenager.

I pulled my phone from the pocket of my pants and stared at her message. I had to reply, but the problem was I didn’t know what to say. Thank you? Or you too?

Miya: You’re so kind, lol.

Yeah, I was only able to write that as an answer.

Almost immediately Ivy started to call me. I debated if I should answer her now, but I had to be sure she was okay. She never sent me such texts before.

“Ivy?”

She was laughing and then said my name.

“Can you hear me?” I asked and took another drag of the cigarette.

“I want you to find me.” She giggled, and I heard the chatter of other people in the background. “I miss you!” She yelled.

“Okay, but tell me where you are. Are you not at work?” She never went somewhere after work. She waited for me until I came home, and we spent time together. Catching up. For some reason I was irritated she was not at home like always.

“At work! I’m waiting for youuuu. Bye.” She hung up, and I drew the phone from my ear to look at it.

I tossed the cigarette to the ground and rushed downstairs to grab my stuff and leave. She could be in an emergency. Be drugged or drunk but not by her own will.

“I think Ivy is in trouble. Cover for me.” I told Conor. I only had one hour left in my shift to end. I can’t get into that much trouble.

“Should I come with you?” He asked.

“I’ll handle it. Thanks.” I mumbled and tapped his shoulder as I dashed off the office.

Driving to Ivy’s work with the police car brought the memories of the night I found her to the surface.

I even put the emergency lights on. Every car avoided my way. I had a clear road ahead of me. I sped as fast as I could go, the sirens echoing in my ears. So much adrenaline rushed through my veins, I felt undefeatable.

I didn’t even care to park straight when I stopped before the building she worked at. I rushed out of the car into the front door. They were unlocked, slightly ajar.

I busted the door open with my boot and found Ivy with other people her age, sitting on the ground with a bottle of vodka in her hand.

I stormed toward her and snatched it from her hand.

“Is this how you spend your free time? Getting drunk until you don’t know your own name?” I snapped, my voice loud.

They all gawked at me as if they saw Jesus. It was probably because I was in my police uniform.

Of course, I partied and got wasted when I was their age, but I never had any pleasant memories I could look back at. You remembered shit from it and puked for days straight.

I don’t want Ivy to go through that.

I crouched down before her and caressed her face. Her cheeks were a bit hot, but her skin remained soft. I brushed some hair from her face and then hoisted her into my arms. I made sure I took her stuff and calmly left the store.

I’ll make her find another job with better influence.

I got her seated in the passenger seat and shut the door. Before I got into the car, I lit another cigarette. Now I couldn’t smoke tomorrow. I broke my promise of smoking only one cigarette a day.

I released a long puff of smoke and turned to the passenger’s window. My free hand was inside my pocket, curled in a fist. How could she get drunk when she was still working? Thank God no customers were there.

She will surely get into trouble because of this and get fired. But that’s a great lesson for her. She shouldn’t have done it, even if her coworkers were pursuing her. She’s not a little kid anymore. She can tell what’s wrong, and what’s right.

After I finished my cigarette, I tossed it to the ground and got inside the car. I leaned over to Ivy and buckled her. For a moment, I observed her flushed cheeks which were very evident due to her pale skin.

She giggled and turned her face to me. She must have been dreaming.

I retreated and drove off to our apartment. I took a deep breath, trying to process everything that had happened. I was numb, and my mind was racing. I drove in silence, which is unusual for me because I need music when I’m driving, but I didn’t want to wake up Ivy, and I needed some quiet.

I parked the car and headed to the passenger seat. I stared at Ivy for some seconds, deciding my next step. Should I wake her up? No, I should just let her be for tonight and scold her tomorrow.

I opened the door and lifted her into my arms. Her head automatically fell onto my shoulder, and when my head ducked down, I swore I saw a faint smile play on her lips.

Once we had got upstairs, I laid her into her bed. I walked to her dresser and picked up her pajamas. When I returned in front of her, I questioned myself and my intentions. What was I about to do? Change her?

But Ivy hated her outside clothes on her bed. She couldn’t stand it that even I couldn’t sit on her bed in my uniform.

I let out an exaggerated exhale and placed the pajamas beside her body. I moved in front of her legs and reached for the hem of her jeans. My heartbeat began hammering against my chest. I clutched the fabric between my fingers and shimmed the jeans down her thighs, and then slowly down her legs.

I swallowed hard, sweat forming on my forehead. I was more nervous than I was at firing a gun.

The jeans ended up on the floor, and I moved to her T-shirt. It was a vintage long-sleeved shirt with white lace from the inside that Ivy found in a thrift store. She loves the 2000s clothes, trends, and music.

I placed my hand on her back and pushed her up. “Ivy, I need to get this off you,” I whispered.

She hummed, her hands slowly raising up. I took the opportunity to slide the shirt off. I succeeded, and tossed it on the bed. Her hands then suddenly wrapped around my neck and pulled me closer to her. Her back then hit the bed, and I hovered over her.

“What are you doing? Go to sleep.” I softly said.

Her eyes sprang open and met with mine. Her hand wandered through the back of my hair, and all the hair on my body rose to life.

“Have me,” she began quietly; it was hard to understand. “I need your hands on my body. I will be your pawn. I will be anything you want me to be.”

A lump stuck in my throat, and I had to force myself to speak. “Y-You’re wasted. Don’t say such stuff.”

She snatched my hand and placed it on her breast. My eyes grew wide. My hands shaking—

“Touch me like this, Miya.” She breathed. “Show me what you’re capable of.”

“Oh, Princess, you don’t want to test that out,” I whispered, too aware of her breast in my grasp.

I moved my fingers ever so slightly, and she shuddered, staring at my hand. It was like I controlled her. Like I had power over her.

I have no clue what got into me, but my fingers slipped inside her bra cup and caressed her hard nipple. Ivy let out a moan when I stimulated it. And the more I heard her sweet voice, the more I wanted to push her to the edge.

“M-Make me stop. This is m-madness.” I stammered. However, I didn’t stop, and she didn’t stop me.

With each stroke, pinch, and twist, my heartbeat fastened. And the pulsing between my legs I didn’t experience for years felt so fucking good. It was difficult to not shove my fingers inside my panties to let the orgasm take over me. I was already wet as hell.

Ivy’s hand fell to my belt, and she tugged on it with such force that I collapsed on top of her, her breasts pressing onto mine. Breath knocked out of my lungs, my lips just an inch from hers.

“Own me.” Ivy softly said, staring at my lips.

My lips parted, hovering over hers. I was about to press my mouth against hers when I slightly retreated, my harsh breaths echoing in the silent space.

I closed my mouth and swallowed the knot in my throat. This is wrong. I can’t be doing this.

The voices in my head were screaming at me to not stop, but I knew better than to get swayed by demons.

I placed my hands beside her head and pushed myself up until I got back onto my feet. I stood over her motionless body, studying her every curve. Hell, she was gorgeous; it took every bit of my strength not to crawl back on top of her.

But she was drunk. Not in her right mind.

What kind of person would I be if I did what the fucker a year ago did to her? Her words mean nothing if she’s not sober.

“I’ll pretend this never happened. Tomorrow we will find a new job for you. Somewhere where it’s safe and with nonalcoholic coworkers.” I said clearly and walked out of the room, the feel of her skin still imprinted on the pads of my fingers.

⸻⸻

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9 - Denying

Ivy was in her bedroom all day. I took a day off that I had to request because of her state. I couldn’t leave her by herself like this. She was throwing up almost the whole morning. She didn’t even want me to hold her hair up.

She caused this to herself, and she’s paying the price.

I cooked for her a very simple soup. Something light on her stomach. I tried my best, since I can’t cook well.

I placed the soup on a tray and carried it to her bedroom. I set it on the nightstand and walked around the bed to open the curtains. She groaned, hiding beneath the comforter.

“It’s lunchtime, Ivy. I let you sleep without disturbance, but it’s time to wake up.” I said, my hands placed on my hips.

“I-I still don’t feel well…” She muttered.

“I don’t care.” I grabbed the comforter and yanked it from her body. “Eat what I cooked for you.”

She tilted her head at me, her eyes looking like puppies. She wore white satin shorts and a matching tank top. I could see the shapes of every part of her body. And I mean every.

“I-I don’t know if you’ll like it. I didn’t even give it a taste.” I stammered and looked away.

Ivy reluctantly sat up and grabbed the tray with the soup. She stared at it for a long moment and then scooped its contents with a spoon, bringing it to her mouth. On purpose I drew closer to see her reaction. She tried to play it cool that she liked it, but I saw how her mouth twitched.

“Thank you.” She said after she swallowed it. “It’s good.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” I smiled.

I strode to the door, grabbed the handle, and glanced back at her, cringing as she forced herself to eat the soup. “When you’re done, we’re heading out to job hunt.” I announced and exited her bedroom.

Even though I said to her I’d forget what happened between us, it was impossible to accomplish. I barely got any sleep over it. It clouded my mind, taking every bit of the space. And when I saw her in her pajamas, the feeling of her hard nipple between my fingers flooded my mind like a tsunami.

This girl will ruin me.

I went to change into black slack pants and an oversized gray hoodie. After that, I knocked on Ivy’s door, impatiently waiting for her.

Breath almost knocked out of my lungs, when she opened the door, wearing a white dress patterned with cherries and tied at the waist with a red ribbon. They weren’t sexual at all. Even their length was slightly above her knees.

“Have you made this?” I asked, studying it.

She crossed her arms and nodded. “I finished them a few days ago. D-Do you like them?”

“I love them!” I exclaimed. “This is your best work. It’s very cute.”

For a moment, her eyebrows furrowed. But then, as if she had reset her facial expression, she smiled at me. “That’s what I was going for.”

I absentmindedly reached to her shoulder and fixed the strap that was falling down. It was after a couple of seconds that I realized what I did.

Her wide eyes met mine, and I quickly pulled back, shoving my hands into my pockets. “We should go,” I said, my voice slightly strained. “It’s going to be a long day.”

She nodded quickly, her cheeks tinted with a faint blush. Grabbing my car keys, I headed for the door, but my thoughts remained firmly on Ivy. No matter how much I tried to suppress it, she was always there, taking over every corner of my mind.

• • •

On our drive to the first place where Ivy could get a job, we didn’t say a word to each other. I played our favorite playlist, so we wouldn’t sit in awkward silence.

One of my high school classmates, Lauren, is a seamstress. She once told me that if I needed anything, I could visit her in her shop. She lives in the same town, which is very convenient for us.

Lauren has a bit of a different style in clothing than Ivy, but she could learn so much from her and even get paid.

Ivy always wanted either to paint or design clothes for a living, but it’s not easy to make a name for yourself in this business. I do think Ivy is capable of doing that. But she needs a bit of help. A guidance to reach her goal.

I want her to do what is her passion.

Same as me.

Once we reached our destination, I parked the car, and together we headed to the older-looking Victorian building that was white. I rang the bell, and shortly after, Lauren greeted me with her smile. She recognized me immediately. I didn’t change much from a couple of years ago, when we last saw each other.

“Miya!” She exclaimed and wrapped her arms around me.

“Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t text you beforehand. I hope you don’t have a lot of work on your hands.” I said and hugged her back.

“Of course not. It’s rare to see you.” She said and drew away, paying her attention to Ivy.

“Oh, this is my father’s aunt’s cousin, Ivy,” I explained, gesturing toward her. “She loves designing her own clothes—like this dress.” I pointed out. “I was wondering if you might need some help? She’s currently looking for a job.”

Ivy smiled at her, but it wasn’t her honest smile. It looked forced.

“Nice to meet you,” Ivy said, extending her hand toward Lauren.

Lauren’s face lit up as she took Ivy’s hand in a warm shake. “You’re absolutely adorable! And this dress is stunning.”

“Thank you,” Ivy replied, her voice soft. “The stitching isn’t perfect, though. I’m still trying to improve.”

I don’t think anything was lacking. It was the other way around. She looked lovely in them. They didn’t look badly done at all. She’s always harsh on herself.

“It’s okay! You will improve in no time. I had the same issues when I was your age as I started sewing.” She sighed and looked at me. “Remember when we were teenagers? It doesn’t even seem to be true we were once so young.”

I chuckled, glancing at Ivy, who looked interested in my reply. “Yeah, I feel the same way. Sometimes I think of myself as a granny. We are almost in our mid-thirties.”

Lauren put her arm around my shoulders, and Ivy’s eyes narrowed.

“I want to be young again and not have to worry about a thing. Be carefree.” Lauren announced, pointing with a finger.

I laughed and nodded. Ivy’s eyes were solely focused on Lauren’s arm, and I felt uneasy. Anger was radiating from her. Rage and annoyance. If her eyes were lasers instead, she would have burned away her arm from my shoulders.

“I’ll prepare some drinks, and we can talk about the job,” Lauren said. “Take a seat.” She beckoned to the small couch and rushed off to the back.

Ivy sat down first, her arms folded. I took a seat next to her, leaving some space between us. When Lauren returned, Ivy closed the distance and locked her arm with mine. I looked at her in disbelief. Lauren might think we have a close relationship, but it still may look weird since we are “distant family”.

She placed the cold drinks on the small coffee table and sat opposite us on a chair. Ivy’s fingers dig into my arm; it hurt. I wanted to say something, but Lauren would’ve heard it.

“So, you’re interested in becoming my help?” Lauren asked Ivy.

“Of course.” She replied but in a monotone.

“I’m looking for someone who can be high-spirited and who really wants to be in use,” Lauren added, glancing at me.

“I understand. I’m a very passionate person, and I adore your shop, so it would mean a lot if you gave me a chance.” Ivy said.

Lauren looked at me with a smirk. “Dedication runs in your family, it seems.” She remarked.

I laughed and roamed my fingers through my hair. “I know.”

Lauren took a deep breath and shifted her attention to Ivy. “Even though I’m not in huge need of an assistant, I do admit I need a bit of help. So, I’ll gladly take you under my wing, Ivy.”

Ivy looked hesitant and unsure. But I knew she wanted to improve and get better at sewing. This was the one and only opportunity. No one would hire her since she doesn’t have a school or certificate for it. And especially, no experience. Only in her bedroom, and that doesn’t count.

“Thank you so much.” Ivy softly replied and squeezed my arm.

After we chatted for several minutes, I got hungry. My stomach was empty as hell. It needed to be filled with a delicious cheese pizza and a large Coke.

On our way to my favorite restaurant, Ivy was staring into her phone, answering me nonchalantly when I asked her questions like if she’s happy with the job or if she would rather go work somewhere else.

Her answers were only Yes

and No.

Even when we got seated in the booth, she didn’t tear her gaze from the phone. I swear only people her age do this.

Because I was starting to get irritated, I snatched the phone from her hand and shoved it into my pocket.

“Pay attention to me,” I demanded, and Ivy looked at me in disbelief.

“You know how much I despise when you play on your phone, ignoring me.” I added, holding eye contact.

“Well, maybe that’s why I did so.” She burst out, her eyes full of anger.

I frowned and leaned against the chair. “Oh, and why are you mad at me now? Because I found you a job you’ll actually enjoy and won’t end up wasted at? Let me remind you— I didn’t magically forget how drunk you were. How irresponsible of you to do that at work!” I snapped.

“I see now. This has been on your mind the whole time, hasn’t it? Why are you acting as if you were all perfect and you did nothing wrong in your life? You constantly make me feel like I’m below you. I’m aware of the fact that you’re older than me and lived longer than I, but that doesn’t make you superior. I went through shit, Miya. So I apologize that I had a bit of alcohol in my twenty years of living.”

The waiter came to our table and shifted his eyes from me to Ivy. We weren’t exactly quiet, but we weren’t shouting. He placed the food in front of us, and we both thanked him in unison.

“I’m not acting superior, Ivy. I’m just trying to make you avoid such mistakes in your life. Drinking, smoking, and other bullshit won’t make your problems disappear. And if you wanted to have fun, you could’ve done it with me.” I scoffed, my arms folded.

“Have fun with you?” She laughed. “If I told you what kind of fun I had in mind, you’d never say that.” She whisper-shouted, peering at me.

I swallowed hard, noticing how blue her eyes were.

“Ivy, don’t.”

She looked like she wanted to cry and was barely holding the tears back. She abruptly stood up and tried to leave when I caught her wrist. Her arm writhed, but my firm hold wouldn’t let her go anywhere.

“Please, I want to go back home.” She murmured, her eyes directed to the exit.

“No, you’re not going anywhere,” I protested. “I want you to see you eat.”

“I’m not hungry. I want to be alone—”

“I said, you’re staying with me. I’m not letting you go, Ivy.” I tugged her toward me and she crashed down beside me. I wrapped my hand around her waist, so she wouldn’t try to escape, and moved her food in front of her.

She blinked a couple of times before she grabbed the pizza between her fingers and took a bite.

The longer I touched her, the more my chest hurt.

What the actual hell was happening to me?

“I remember every single thing that happened yesterday evening. And even if you want to erase those memories, I won’t. Because I’m not the one who’s denying her feelings.” Ivy said calmly before taking another bite, and I was left speechless. Frozen.

For the first time in years, I had no good argument. I was silenced.

⸻⸻

What’s up with me and the soups in every single story I wrote???

Guess we will never know.

10 - Feeling

Our whole police department decided to celebrate Conor’s birthday together. And of course, it would lead to a bar.

I was again reminded of Ivy’s words at the restaurant two days ago. I’ve never been more quiet than on that ride home.

I just had no clue what to say.

Or what to feel.

I was already very confused by my own feelings. Hearing such things coming out of her mouth was difficult to process, to believe.

Since the beginning, she looked at me in this yearning way, but I told myself I was imagining it that a girl her age couldn’t be attracted to me. Or that she even likes women.

I ignored her when she asked to come to the gym with me and solely watched me work out. Or when I once, during the summer, only wore a bra and shorts for the entire day because I was hot, and I caught her eyes in my cleavage.

I ignored every sign that could indicate that she had any sort of romantic or physical feelings for me.

Because it wasn’t right.

I was thirty-two, and she was freshly twenty. What kind of person would that make me, if I let her grow these feelings for me? Rejection is the right answer. I had to shut it before it would ascend into something that couldn’t be taken back.

But I hated the knot in my stomach every time she paid more attention to me than she should. When she randomly hugs me, and I can barely contain myself.

I can’t let myself feel such things. I would break and fall apart if I let my demons win. If I let them take over me and realize my deepest desires.

So, even if I don’t drink, I’m glad I can push these thoughts away for one evening and drown them with alcohol.

Conor chose his favorite bar, where people my age go, and we sat in the very back, where there was the biggest space for us to settle.

When twenty people sit down behind one table, you can barely listen to one conversation as everyone is talking over each other. But Conor was very happy, and I was glad to see him smile. He would spend his birthday alone, and I would never allow that.

“Seriously, we need to find you some hot milf, Conor.” Noah suddenly stated, louder than anyone.

“You know what? That’s a great idea. My aunt is painfully available now.” Hailey said, and everyone laughed, including me.

“Stop laughing in my face!” Conor’s brow rose. “Who said I’m single?”

I snapped my eyes at him. Is he seriously going to lie?

“My very good friend right here,” he wrapped his arm around me. “Is my wife.”

My jaw dropped, hanging to the floor. Conor winked at me, and I tried to figure out what sign that was and how I should interpret it.

All of our coworkers gasped loudly, gawking at us.

He tugged me against his chest and whispered, “Play along.”

Now, this makes a lot more sense.

Conor wants to avoid the questions about his dating life, and so do I. Even though I like my coworkers, sometimes they’re a pain in the ass. How can thirty-year-olds be so nosy?

I snatched the drink from Conor’s hand and swallowed it in one go. If this act was going to be convincing, only something strong would do the trick.

“In fact, we are getting married soon!” Conor exclaimed, and my eyes popped out of my skull. My coworkers gasped again.

I giggled after I put on a fake smile and jumped on Conor’s lap, wrapping my hands around his neck. You dug your own grave, my dear friend.

Conor looked at me as if he saw a Jesus. Honestly, he needed acting lessons if he was going to crack so easily. “That’s right, my darling bear,” I said in an exaggeratedly sweet voice. “Our wedding is just around the corner, and after that, I’ll need a baby girl from you.”

He was frozen, slight disgust on his face. I squeezed his cheeks in my hands and let out a chuckle. Inside, I was boiling. I wanted to laugh so hard in his face.

“I can’t believe what I’m seeing,” Clara said slowly.

“Me neither.” Brandon agreed, and I looked at him. He had a smirk on, and I was sure he saw through this charade. He wasn’t a big drinker like everybody else. Half of them were barely sitting straight.

If I hadn’t drunk, I’d be so fucking embarrassed. But at that moment, I only wanted to make fun of Conor and my coworkers for believing this shit.

“Let’s toast to our marriage and future child!” I held up the drink, and everyone followed my move with confused faces.

• • •

It went on and on until I didn’t know my name. It didn’t take a lot for me to get stoned. I’m not used to alcohol, only cigarettes. I haven’t had a drink with my coworkers for years. I always avoid it. But today, it felt right. And I needed it.

I have no memory of how I ended up in an Uber or who helped me back to my apartment, but somehow, I made it home. After typing the entry code four times wrong, I banged my fist against the door in frustration. My movements were clumsy, and I could barely stay on my feet. Everything was duplicated. The staircase, the doors, and then Ivy—

“Oh gosh! You’re reeking from alcohol.” She said and helped me get inside.

She placed her hand on my waist and held my arm around her shoulder. She carried me into the living room and sat me down on the coffee table. In the making, I stumbled and bumped into a million things in the hallway and into some decorations we have in the living room.

As I sat on the coffee table, my head spinning from the alcohol, I could sense the tension in the air. Ivy was clearly not happy about the situation.

She rushed to the kitchen, and I heard the water pouring. She returned with a glass of water, her expression stern. “Drink,” she instructed, holding the glass out to me. I could feel her eyes watching me as I carefully took a sip, the cool liquid easing my dry throat.

“Where were you?” she demanded.

“I was…out with my colleagues,” I muttered, avoiding her gaze.

“Out drinking, you mean,” she snapped, placing the glass down with a loud clink.

I fidgeted uncomfortably on the coffee table.

“It’s not like that,” I protested, knowing that she wasn’t buying it.

Ivy crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing. “Then what is it like? Because from where I’m standing, you look like you’ve had way too much to drink.”

I winced at her words. “It’s just a few drinks; it’s not a big deal,” I attempted to defend myself, even though I knew how weak my argument sounded.

Ivy’s expression hardened. “It is a big deal. You said I shouldn’t make such mistakes in my life that drinking won’t help solve my problems, yet here you are. Totally wasted.”

“Because there’s nothing that can solve it!” I shouted. “My problem is unsolvable.”

“Talk to me. Did something happen at work?” She wondered.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the swirling emotions in my chest. “No, it’s not connected with work. The problem…it’s not something I can just talk about,” I said, my voice growing quiet.

Ivy’s expression softened slightly, and she took a step closer to me. “Why not? You can tell me anything. I will try to help you, Miya.”

Her hand brushed against my cheek, and instinctively, I leaned into her touch. My breathing grew rapid, each inhale coming harsher.

I closed my eyes, feeling the warmth of her hand on my cheek. It was comforting and also excruciating, reminding me of how much I wanted everything I couldn’t have. Having her .

What was in those drinks?

“Do you want me to make you feel better?” Ivy asked, her voice soft, seductive.

I nodded absentmindedly.

“I’ll make your worries go away for tonight.” She whispered.

Please do.

Her hand disappeared and reappeared on my waist. I was tugged toward her, to the edge of the table. Then she got my belt off, and that is where I frowned. I was still dressed in my uniform. My blurry eyes could see her silhouette and pink hair, how she slowly moved down on her knees.

I was pretty much numb. It was a miracle I could hold myself with my hands behind my back. But I was greatly aware of every move she made.

Then with a force, she took my pants off, revealing my black panties. My heart began to throb like it wanted to jump out of my chest. Am I dreaming? This can’t be happening for real.

She parted my legs wide and held my thighs while staring at me.

“I-Ivy, what are you doing? We can’t be doing this .” I mumbled, trying to focus my eyes that were disobeying me.

“I want to make you feel good.” She answered and slid my panties down my legs. “I will make you happy.”

I tried to protest, to tell her we couldn’t do this. But the words wouldn’t come out. They were stuck in my throat like a lump of fire.

So I said nothing, my heart pounding as I felt myself getting wet. Seeing her on her knees in front of me made me body ignite.

I could only shake my head, my mind and body at war with each other. Part of me knew this was a bad idea, that it could only lead to heartache and complications. But the other part of me was completely overwhelmed by the feelings Ivy was stirring up inside me.

She leaned in close, her lips only inches from my pussy. “You do want this,” she repeated, her voice a whisper that sent shivers down my spine.

“But we—” I attempted to protest one more time, my voice trembling.

But before I could finish my sentence, she pressed her lips against my heat, silencing my protests with a kiss. I wanted to resist, to pull away, but I couldn’t. The kiss was too intoxicating, too perfect.

She ran her hands up my thighs, her touch leaving a trail of heat in its wake. “Just let go,” she breathed between my legs. “Let me take care of you.”

I closed my eyes, trying to clear my head and find some shred of resistance, but I was too far gone. I wanted her, needed her, even though I knew it was wrong.

I groaned when her tongue flicked over my clit, and my back sharply arched. Was I in heaven or hell? Because I wanted to stay there forever.

She sucked on me, kissed me, and licked me on repeat until I was moaning, and I laid back on the table, allowing her to do whatever she wanted with me.

“You taste so good.” She said between the licks, and I felt myself wetter.

I unconsciously rocked my hips, wishing she would go deeper. To explore the depths of me that have been untouched for years.

She pushed her tongue inside me, and I cried out. She whimpered against me, and my eyes rolled back from the intense pleasure that coursed

through me.

She twisted her tongue inside me, my walls clenching, begging for more. The warm, soft tongue going in and out of me was everything I’d ever wanted. I secretly imagined how she would feel inside me. But she exceeded every expectation, every imagination.

Ivy pulled her tongue out and swapped it with her two fingers. She thrust them into me, and tears spilled out of my eyes. She started off slowly, then sped up the rhythm. Thrusting more aggressively, her hitched breath was the only noise in the room.

“You have no idea.” Thrust. “How long I’ve been dreaming about this moment.” Thrust. “Of my fingers sliding in and out of you.” Thrust. “To taste your cunt. To have you moan because of my touch.”

Her fingers were rubbing against my sweet spot, and all my limbs trembled with pleasure. Even though I was in ecstasy, her words were carved into my head, and the way she said it with her dominant voice. I’ve never heard her talk like this before.

My walls clenched around her fingers, my hips jerking with each thrust. My breathing was ragged and shallow. I was a complete mess. This girl is my destruction. My weakness. Everything that I don’t want.

But can I stop this when it feels so fucking good?

“Go. Faster.” I demanded.

“I will after you admit that you like me.” She slowed down. And my orgasm was on the verge of explosion.

“I can’t do that—”

“Yes, you can, Miya.” Fuck. My name sounded so sweet out of her mouth.

“This is wrong,” I said with breathiness.

She leaned over me, her fingers still inside me but not moving. “I’m not your family, your cousin, or your sister. I’m a stranger you found and took home. So, stop acting as if what we are doing is a crime. I’m not a teenager anymore.”

My pussy pulsed, and not just because I wanted to come, but because of her words. She spat them at me as if they were nails. I liked her strong tongue.

“Will you finish fucking me after I answer?” I asked, meeting her gaze.

“It depends on how you answer.” She grinned and moved her fingers slightly to tease me.

I gasped, my chest rapidly falling up and down. “I-I do fucking like you,” I burst out.

She smiled, and it was that kind of smile that could kill someone.

She added a third finger inside me and slid them all the furthest and hardest she could.

I felt my muscles clench, and her smile grew wider. She kept pushing her fingers deeper and faster, and I could feel my orgasm. I screamed out in pleasure as I climaxed all over her fingers, my hips rocking against her hand.

“Fuckkkk,” I moaned, and I regulated my breathing.

Ivy slowly pulled her fingers out and crawled on top of me, her long hair framing her beautiful face. “I’ll be everything you want me to be, Miya. Let me be on my knees for you,” she said, licking her fingers that were covered with my come. She sighed in her sweet voice as if she were eating the most delicious dessert.

“I’ll be your servant.”

⸻⸻

Y’all’s thoughts? 👀 Hope you liked today’s chapter.

11 - Starving

My head throbbed with a pulsing pain when I opened my eyes. My throat was dry, and I felt sick to my core. It took me a few moments to recall why I was feeling this way.

Then another couple of seconds passed before I sensed something lying on my stomach. I tilted my head to find Ivy’s head on my stomach. She was sleeping so effortlessly pretty. She looked like an angel.

But as I watched her, remembering last night, I realized that this girl was no angel. She is a sin, and I let my guard down around her to notice it. I ignored her hugs and looks, but yesterday, she confirmed she always wanted more with me.

A lot more.

She must’ve imagined doing this with me for the whole year. Touching me, kissing me, and fucking me.

Now I must look like a fool. I’m a grown-up woman who enjoyed being dominated by a twenty-year-old.

I slapped my face, roaming then my fingers through my hair. I checked the time on my phone, and it was eleven o’clock.

What was I going to do now? Play like nothing happened, or do the exact opposite?

I reached my hand to Ivy’s cheeks and grazed it. “Ivy, it’s almost lunch,” I said.

Ivy opened her eyes at the third try and took a long, deep breath. She, half asleep, crawled up and fell on my chest, her face buried in my neck.

“No, you’re not going anywhere.” She mumbled, her hot breath tickling my skin.

“I-I’m not going anywhere, princess. I’m just hungry and need a shower.” I said softly.

Suddenly, Ivy’s lips brushed my neck, and her teeth bore into my skin. For a few seconds, she sucked on it, and I was simply letting her do whatever she wanted.

I felt so stupid. So naive that a girl her age would want me, but her touch sent tingles all over my body, and I liked it way too much to stop her.

She released her teeth from my skin and kissed the bruised spot afterward.

“Don’t hide my mark. I want everyone to see you’re no longer available.” Ivy declared.

I gulped, trying to find an excuse to leave the bed.

“I need to pee.” I quickly announced and writhed from her grasp. I rushed to the bathroom and was shocked when I saw the huge hickey on the side of my neck.

“I want to mark you everywhere.”

I flinched from the sound of Ivy’s voice. She stood at the threshold, her hands folded.

“Y-You can’t do that. Nobody can see this at work.” I stated.

She frowned and took a step forward. “Why not? Because you don’t want Brandon to see? Or the woman Hailey?” She asked.

“What? Why do you think that?”

“Because they must clearly like you.”

“No, they don’t. We’re colleagues, that’s all.”

“So what are we then? Tenant’s? Or mother and daughter?”

“Ivy, you’re saying crazy things.”

She laughed and closed the space between us. “It’s because I’m crazy about you.”

I sighed and folded my arms. “I have to take a shower now. We will talk about this after lunch.”

“But I want to wash you.” She paused. “Take care of you.” She smirked.

Blood rushed to my cheeks. My skin was hot, and my throat got dry.

“N-No, not now. Please, Ivy, just—wait for me in the kitchen.”

Her lips turned into a thin line. “As you wish.” She turned around and walked away.

I finally let out a long exhale, my heartbeat slowing down to a normal tempo. I shook my head and went inside the shower. I turned on the cold water and let it cascade down my body.

I needed the cold. I needed to wake up from this fantasy.

My eyes grew wide as warm hands locked around my waist from behind. I wanted to turn around, but Ivy held her hands tight around me. I could feel the fabric of her pajamas against me.

“Ivy,” I whispered.

“Why are you so distant again? You’re hot and then cold all of a sudden.” She said, resting her forehead against my back.

“We both know this is simply wrong and could never work no matter our feelings. I don’t want to hurt you, Ivy.” I whispered.

“What is so wrong about wanting to touch you? To kiss you? Is that a crime, Miya?” Ivy’s hands then shifted from my stomach to my chest. She cupped my breasts in her palms and squeezed them. Unintentionally, I let out a moan.

“See? You love this. You like my hands on your body.”

“B-But I’m so fucking old,” I breathed.

She gave my breasts one last squeeze and moved in front of me. “I don’t care how old you are. I want you.”

She had this determination in her eyes I’ve never seen before. Even when she was talking about her clothes or paintings, she never had this fire in them.

My gaze dropped to her top, and the water made it see-through. I felt my heart flutter as I saw the shape of her breasts, her hard nipples. I gulped, feeling my cheeks flush. I quickly looked away, trying to focus my attention on the conversation.

“Let’s talk about this when I get outside,” I said, breathing heavily.

I could sense Ivy’s eyes linger on my body for a few seconds before she exited the shower. I was sure she wouldn’t leave. She never listens to me. For that, I’d spank her.

I finished taking my shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I changed into comfortable clothes and headed to the kitchen, where Ivy sat behind a kitchen island, her hands on her lap. I strode to her and leaned my elbows on the counter; her attention immediately shifted to me.

“Let’s cook together,” I suggested.

The look on her face made it clear—she was hoping I’d bring up the topic of us. But I needed time to find the right words for such an important conversation.

“What should we cook?” She asked with a faint smile.

“Well, I really missed my favorite meal from you,” I smirked.

“Tteokbokki?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed, and she laughed.

Ivy wanted to learn my favorite Korean meals, so I asked my mother for some recipes. She was very worried I’d burnt my kitchen, but I said I wasn’t planning on cooking; it was for a friend.

My parents speak Korean fluently. I know some sentences, and I can understand them, but my Korean is very poor. I’ve rarely spoken to a Korean, and I don’t have a chance to practice it. But I’d love to speak it fluently like my parents.

We took everything out from the fridge that we needed and spread it on the counter. I washed the vegetables first, and Ivy placed the rice cakes into warm water. When I grabbed the onion springs, ready to cut them into smaller pieces, Ivy grabbed my wrist.

“What are you doing? Do you want to cut off your fingers?” She shook her head and moved behind me. She showed me how to use the knife properly, making sure my grip was firm and my fingers were positioned correctly. She watched me carefully as I sliced through the vegetable, and I raised my eyebrow, waiting for approval.

I was truly awful at cooking.

“How can you be a cop when you can’t even hold the knife right?” She laughed, and I frowned.

“But I can hold the gun and shoot from it,” I said and grinned.

She rolled her eyes and focused on my cutting again. Her chest was pressed against my back, and I felt how she wasn’t wearing any bra.

I named every curse word under the sun to keep my thoughts innocent. But then her other hand slipped on my hip, and my heart skipped a beat.

“Stop trying to find an excuse not to talk about what happened between us.” Ivy suddenly said.

“It’s not an easy topic, Ivy.” I began and kept cutting the onion. “It’s serious; I’m not a teenager anymore.”

“So am I! Why do you keep making it seem like I’m a child?” She asked, and I let the knife down.

“Because I’m not sure if this is just fun for you or something serious,” I stated.

Ivy remained silent for longer than I expected. I turned quickly, and a sharp pang shot through my chest.

She looked devastated.

“Hey, I didn’t want it to say it like that.” I grabbed her shoulder and gently rubbed it. “But you have to understand me. I’m no longer looking for fun. I want a long-term relationship.”

She came closer and placed her hands on my stomach. “And I want that as well. I want to stay with you. I’ll make you happy, Miya.”

I sighed and moved my hands behind me on the edge of the counter to lean against it.

“We can try it, but if it doesn’t work—”

Ivy slammed her lips against mine, and I almost fell down. She wrapped her arms around my neck and devoured my lips. Kissing them in a starving way. She gently brushed her tongue against them and broke inside my mouth. Her tongue crashed against mine in a dominant way, but I fought back.

I leaned off the counter and placed my hands on her back. Ivy jumped onto me and locked her legs around my waist. I moved to the wall and gently pressed her against it.

A muffled moan escaped her throat when my lips kissed her harder. Hungrier. With more passion.

She broke our lips apart after a while and panted, her loud breaths echoing in the room.

“I always…get turned on when I see you in your uniform.” She breathed. “You’re so incredibly sexy in it, Officer Kim.” She smirked, and something inside me snapped.

I don’t know what it was. I couldn’t specify it. But I suddenly felt happier than before. I felt wanted and liked.

“Oh yeah? What else do you like about me?” I wondered and buried my face into her neck. I kissed her right under the jaw, inhaling her sweet scent.

“I like when you work out and I see your body. So strong and beautiful.” She whispered and stretched her neck.

I bit slightly on her skin to not hurt her, and she gasped. I glanced at her to be sure she was okay, and then I continued.

“Touch me, Miya.” She squeezed her thighs around me. “Please.”

I gave her a last kiss on her lips and shifted her on top of the counter. She was all flustered and panting, but I needed to cool my head. My heart was hammering against my chest, and butterflies went flying in my stomach.

Fuck, I couldn’t control myself at all.

“I’m hungry, princess. Let’s eat first.”

A flicker of disappointment crossed her face, but she quickly masked it, sliding off the counter and returning her focus to the cooking.

• • •

When we finished cooking, and by we I mean I was mostly watching how she was preparing it, we sat down behind the dining table and began to eat.

“I want to ask you something, but if you don’t want to answer, I won’t pressure you.” I started.

Ivy looked up from her plate and nodded.

“Have you visited your parents since you’re living with me?” I asked.

Ivy’s smile dropped. She always gets uncomfortable when I ask about them. She doesn’t like to talk about them.

“I saw my mother once, but it was by accident. Otherwise no.” She answered.

“Do you sometimes miss them?” I wondered.

She took a long breath and looked down.

“Yes and no. I do because they’re my parents, but I don’t because they should’ve taken care of me and loved me.” She replied with a sad tone.

I stretched my arm across the table and grabbed her hand. “I’m so sorry, Ivy. I won’t ask about them again. I can’t imagine the pain that you felt.”

She intertwined her fingers with mine and smiled. “It’s okay now. I have you, and that’s all I need.”

I merely smiled back and squeezed her hand. We finished our food and then washed the dishes together.

“By the way, I haven’t seen you paint for a while now. Are you no longer interested in it?” I asked as we sat down on the couch to watch our favorite Korean drama.

“I am. It’s just we were told to paint a big canvas for a showcase, and I still haven’t decided what I will paint.” Ivy explained and moved closer to me.

I took a sip of the coffee that I made and spoke, “You should paint something that you like to look at. Something that gives you happiness.”

Ivy’s eyes suddenly widened. “You just gave me an idea! Thank you.” She exclaimed and lunged at me, hugging me very tightly.

I smiled and patted the top of her head.

⸻⸻

My knowledge of Korean food comes from k-drama’s that I watch non-stop. Don’t come for me!

What’s your favorite k-drama, btw?

12 - Provoking

Ivy’s POV

During my time in the orphanage, I wondered how my parents were doing. I probably should’ve never thought of them—spend even a second of my life on them, but it wasn’t possible. I tried so many times, but my brain kept rewinding the memories about them. When we were happy. When they weren’t addicted to the drugs. When we were a family.

I lied when I said to Miya I ran into my mother by accident. I really wanted to see her—know how she was doing. I purposely went where she and my father are ‘living.’ I discovered their location while out for a walk one afternoon. They never saw me, and they never will. Because they’re not worthy of seeing my face or hearing my voice.

But sometimes I missed my mother. She fought at the beginning very hard. It was my father who pulled her into this mess. He made her addicted.

I loathe him.

He’d always get drunk and come home so wasted he could barely walk or talk. My mother tried to send him to a hospital to get treated so he’d stop being addicted to alcohol, but what my amazing father do? He decided to switch to drugs.

I was being untaken care of, and when I was fourteen, the CPS was called by my teachers. I was taken away from my parents and sent to the orphanage.

Just like that, my life turned around, and it was only because of their stupid love for drugs. Because they loved it more than me. It was more important than me.

As I stared at my mother sitting on the ground with dirty and thorned clothes, I sensed a pang in my chest. Her blond hair was cut short, and they were thin. I wanted to run to her and hug her, to tell her how much I hate her but miss her.

But all I was able to do was stand behind the corner of the empty tunnel and watch her. I don’t know for how long I stood there. I just know that when I left, I felt hollow.

Since then I haven’t seen her. I didn’t want to.

The only person I needed was Miya. No one else.

Ever since she helped me get a new job, I’ve become busier to paint. Not that I don’t have ideas; I do, but every time I start to paint, it becomes a portrait of Miya.

I like Futurism, Realism, and Modern art. However, in these past few weeks, I only seem to care to paint Miya in her uniform sitting in different positions. If she found out about them, I’m sure she’d send me to a hospital.

My Miya is the only thing I like to look at, to think of. She has been occupying my mind for a year. The longer she’s in there, the more I want her. Crave her.

I’ve become crazy for her.

I’ve lost my sanity.

So as I helped Lauren to cut the fabric she gave me, my mind was in the clouds, thinking of what happened between us and that she agreed to give us a try.

I checked my phone for any messages, but there were no notifications. I sighed and sent her a short text asking how her day was going.

“Are you managing?” Lauren asked from the other side of the room.

“Yes! It’s going well.” I replied.

She has been very nice to me. I can’t be mad at her, but I don’t like how she was touching Miya. Leaning onto her, hugging her when she saw her. I can’t stand that. I’ve claimed Miya. She’s mine.

“If you need help, just call for me,” Lauren spoke again.

“Of course.”

I focused on the fabric I was cutting to not make any mistakes. Even though I prefer to make the dress my own way, I had to listen to Lauren. This was her shop and her fabric that she paid for. I’m well aware of how one mistake can cost you the whole creation. So I listened intently when she told me about her techniques. They were much different from mine since I was learning everything by myself with the help of the internet.

Miya helped me with buying the sewing machine and other required stuff. I tried to talk her out of it because I wanted to buy it all with my money, but I didn’t have much saved back then. She secretly bought everything behind my back so I could do what I loved.

Painting and sewing make me relax. It’s because I have to focus; my mind gets a break from all the horrible, painful memories.

My life before Miya was full of black and gray colors. With her, it’s colorful and bright. Warm and no longer cold.

Suddenly my phone buzzed with a new text message.

Miya: I’m barely alive. How about you? Is Lauren good to you?

I smiled and immediately replied.

Ivy: Yes, she’s wonderful. Can I wait for you when you finish working?

She saw my message but started typing after a couple of seconds.

Miya: Rather not. I don’t want you to walk by yourself at night.

I frowned.

Ivy : Don’t worry about me anymore. I have pepper spray with me. And also…I want to see you.

Miya: Don’t go anywhere alone, Ivy. Listen to me.

I sighed and tossed the phone on the table. She treats me like a kid who can’t take care of themselves. I know she’s worried because of what happened to me, but I don’t want my past to dwell on me.

I can’t always be caged at home during the night as a vampire.

When I finished my work, Lauren sent me home and praised me. She said I’m a fast learner and that I haven’t made a single mistake.

I suppressed a smile at the thought of it. I shouldn’t be glad to hear that from Lauren, but I was. Maybe she isn’t so bad after all.

I got home, cooked dinner, and when it was close to eight o’clock, I traveled by bus to the police station.

I patiently waited for Miya at the parking lot, since she was on a patrol today with Conor.

I stood there, dressed in my own dress that I made, but this time they were more provocative. Of course, I wore a huge hoodie and took it off right when I got there.

In ten minutes, a police car parked in the back, and it was Miya. She got out of the car, a cigarette lit between her lips. The tight pants and shirt showed off her curves. Her perfect, bigger thighs and full breasts. God, she was so gifted. She must’ve been created in heaven. Her black hair was tied in a low ponytail, but shorter pieces that couldn’t be held by the hair tie framed the sides of her face.

She laughed at something Conor said, and I rolled my eyes. I want her to see me now. Only me.

She leaned against the hood of the car, her arms folded, taking a long drag of the cigarette. Conor was smoking with her as well.

I pulled out my phone and typed quickly.

Ivy: Turned to three o’clock.

Miya took out her phone, and when she read my message, she slowly turned her head to me. My dress was above my knees, sucked to my skin. They were black, as it’s Miya’s favorite color, and they had a bigger cleavage.

Once she saw me, she took another quick drag of the cigarette and threw it to the ground. Then she looked at Conor and said something to him. He merely nodded and left her by herself as he rushed inside.

Miya leaned off the hood and shoved her hands in her pockets, strolling to me. She kept her gaze on the ground, and I took my chance to pull the dress down so more of my breasts would show.

Only seeing her made me fully soaked. She was so handsome.

When she stopped before me, her scent of masculine perfume with the smell of cigarettes hit my nostrils.

Her eyes darkened, and by the look of her stance, she wasn’t pleased I came.

“What are you doing here? Didn’t you read my message? I said don’t come here alone. And to be dressed like this! Are you insane?” Miya shout-whispered.

“I was wearing a hoodie on top of it. No one saw anything, and I missed you. I couldn’t wait until you got home.” I said.

She sighed, shaking her head. “Ivy, don’t do this from now on. I don’t appreciate it when you’re not listening to me. Anything could’ve happened to you.”

I took a step closer to her. “But I’m alright! I came here by bus, and it was full of people. You don’t have to always worry about me.”

She frowned, anger written across her face. “You have no idea what kind of cases I went through. Young girls are being killed, kidnapped, beaten up, or assaulted. So don’t you dare say I don’t have to worry about you.”

I flinched. She never spoke to me in such a harsh way. She barely raised her voice at me.

I closed the distance between us until my chest was touching hers. “I-I’m so sorry, Miya. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

The anger suddenly disappeared from her face, and she pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, I shouldn’t talk to you in such a way. I apologize.” She met my gaze. “But promise me, you won’t ever do this again. You can only go outside at night when I’m with you.”

I nodded and placed my hands on her hips. “I swear I won’t go anywhere alone at night without you.” I smiled, and she chuckled.

She stared into my eyes for a long moment before they dropped down my body.

“Is this new?” She asked, touching the strap of the dress.

“Yes, it is. Do you like them?”

She opened her lips slightly, but then shut them. I wanted her to say I look hot, not cute. I don’t want only to be seen in her eyes as a younger girl. I want her to look at me as a woman.

I snuck my hand to her ass and tightly squeezed it.

She flinched, her eyes wide and cheeks heated.

“W-What are you doing? Someone could see us.” She whispered, and my hand started to caress her ass cheek. Many would pay to have such a body as my Miya.

“Tell me with your pretty voice that I look sexy in your eyes right now,” I said softly, my hand clutching her hip so she wouldn’t leave.

She shivered, her breath getting more rapid.

“Miya, please. I’m begging you.” I urged, my voice helpless. “I swear on my life I’ll be a good girl.”

Miya let out a muffled noise and leaned into my face as she was taller. Her hand reached to my face, and she gently grazed my cheek with the back of her hand.

Her eyes moved to my chest, and they stayed there. “Hell, you look very sexy, princess.” She murmured.

I couldn’t take it any longer.

I threw myself at her, and we crashed onto the bench beside us as Miya lost her balance. I straddled her and grabbed her hands to guide them on my breast while my lips pressed on hers.

“C’mon, grab them tight,” I said between my breaths.

Miya listened to me and cupped them in her palms, giving them a tight squeeze.

I licked, bit, and played with her lips until they were sore. She moaned and whimpered, and I was totally losing it. I wanted to tear the uniform off her body and run my tongue over her pussy, which must’ve been so wet for me.

“I need more.” I panted.

She shook her head and leaned into my lips again, which I was surprised at. I’m the one who initiates the intimacy between us.

“More,” I begged, and she moaned between my lips.

Then I heard the sound of people coming from the police station, and Miya froze. She drew away and snapped her head to the front door. We weren’t seen since we were sitting behind tall bushes, but Miya was afraid of being caught anyway.

She suddenly grabbed me by my waist and lifted me. She placed me beside her and got up.

She crouched down to snatch my hoodie, which I forgot about, and handed it to me.

She ran her hands on her face and took a deep breath.

“P-Put it on. Conor will take us home,” she said.

I nodded and slid the hoodie on me. Together we then walked to Conor, who was already standing by the car with Miya’s belongings in his grip.

We waited, though, until all her coworkers left the parking lot.

“Since when did she get here?” Conor asked, eyeing me.

I narrowed my eyes. “Did you miss me?” I mocked.

“Only in your nightmares, little girl.” He seethed.

I rolled my eyes and looked beside me to not find Miya there anymore. She was already in the car, waiting for us. She hates our bickering.

We got into the car, and Miya sat in the passenger seat. I guess she was afraid I’d try something with Conor being in the car.

“Why are you so red?” Conor exclaimed, and Miya covered her face.

“J-Just drive, Conor!” She shrieked.

I smirked.

⸻⸻

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13 - Craving

A couple of days have passed since what happened in front of the police station. And I have been avoiding Ivy a tiny bit. I know that’s childish, coming from someone my age, but I haven’t experienced such feelings for what feels like a century.

This igniting desire. Cravings. Obsession. It’s all happening because of her.

We also see each other less because I’m working nonstop, and Ivy has work, so she can’t visit me like before. Am I missing her visits? No, that can’t be.

But three days ago, my working time was changed, and I woke up around eight o’clock. Ivy was already gone, but she left me the prepared breakfast.

I didn’t snoop around, but I needed to see Ivy’s room.

She had everything spotlessly clean and organized. Nothing was out of place, except for the larger canvas hidden behind a dresser.

At first, I hesitated to look. It had been so long since Ivy had shown me any of her work. She always said she was working on something and promised to share it once it was finished.

But I didn’t want to wait.

I grabbed one of the large canvases and pulled it toward me carefully. When I caught sight of it, I almost dropped it. I blinked repeatedly, to be sure I wasn’t seeing stuff. But it was real.

It was a large portrait of me, in my uniform, with my legs spread. I was sitting on a basic wooden chair, and my body was leaning back.

I almost dropped it to the ground. I picked another canvas and found myself again but in a different position. They were all like that. Not only one or two but all fifteen of them. I didn’t know if I should feel flattered or scared.

Such obsession can’t be healthy or right, yet it felt so good knowing someone had memorized every curve of my body, the distance between my eyes, and how big my lips were. How could anyone hold such details so vividly in their mind?

I slid the canvases back into place and left the room. I was a bit afraid of finding more things. Because I wasn’t sure I’d handle more. It was already impossible to restrain myself from Ivy, even though I said I’d give us a try.

Maybe I’m just frightened I’ll get hurt.

I strode to my bedroom and lay on my bed. Millions of thoughts ran through my mind. But I was positive about one thing: I liked Ivy. But I was afraid of people’s reactions. Not that it would hurt me because I couldn’t care less about their opinion, but because of Ivy.

She went through hell all her life. I don’t want to make it worse.

I covered my eyes with my forearm and let out a long sigh. I fell asleep and woke up to someone rubbing my thigh. I partially opened my eyes to find Ivy sitting on the edge of the bed.

“What are you doing home?” I asked, my voice deep.

“Lauren had to close the shop. She had some important errands.” Ivy softly replied.

I sighed and stretched myself. “What’s the time?”

“It’s eleven.” Ivy’s hand moved higher, and I seized her hand.

“I have to go to work soon,” I said, looking at her.

She looked a bit disappointed.

“We haven’t spent much time together.” She whispered and crawled on top of me.

My heartbeat hammered against my chest. “I-Ivy, we can’t right now.”

“I only want your arms around me.” She smiled. “Please.”

I carefully shifted my hands to her back and started to gently rub it. I didn’t know what else to do, since I had almost no experience in dating.

But this felt right.

It was comforting and also warm. I liked her face buried in my chest, smelling her sweet scent. She was so addictive. I couldn’t imagine a day she wouldn’t be next to me.

“I miss you.” She murmured and nuzzled into my neck as if she wanted to get under my skin. “Say it back!” She urged.

I cleared my throat. “I do as well, princess.”

“Why are you so shy toward me? Don’t tell me you’re nervous.” Ivy laughed, and she was unfortunately right.

Was I going to admit that? Hell, no.

“I’m not!” I rolled my eyes. “Why would I be the one nervous?”

She raised her head, looking at me. I was sure she’d laugh at me. I was a bad liar.

But she did something completely unexpected.

Her knee shifted between my legs and moved in an agonizingly slow motion. If she didn’t set my insides on flames, then I don’t know what.

I could feel my face burn, my fast pulse echoing in my ears. Even though this feeling was uncomfortable, it was at the same time beautiful.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.” She whispered and grind her knee against me. A throbbing pleasure bloomed in my lower stomach. I wanted to satisfy it. Feel her fingers on my clit again. Fuck, this girl will ruin me.

“If only you could see your expression right now.” She giggled into my ear. “You want me so bad, Miya. It’s getting harder to resist me, isn’t it?”

I lazily shook my head and swallowed hard. But my needs were growing stronger with each passing second. I just needed her tongue in me again. Her lips kiss me there. I needed her to claim me.

“Please- go harder,” I begged, my voice hoarse.

She let out an exaggerated exhale and moved harder—faster. She trembled above me, her face fully aroused and flushed.

If she looked like that, then how could I possibly look? Ten times worse?

Moans escaped my lips, and the harder her knee moved, the more desperate they sounded. I wanted more than that. I was like a slave to her. I’d do anything at this moment to have her fingers shoved inside me.

“You’re killing me, you know what?” I panted.

She replied between breaths, “And it’s all because of you. Because you walked into my life and made chaos of it.”

I let out a loud cry in pleasure and frustration, my hips bucking in rhythm with her knee. She moved faster and harder until I whimpered. 

She finally stopped, leaving me trembling and panting with pleasure as my body reached the climax.

.

Ivy’s POV

I loved that Miya came so early. That must’ve meant she was already aroused for me.

I expected her to be more touchy with me. But she was never like that. For the whole year, I have known her; she never once touched me first in an intimate way.

I don’t know if what happened to me might have had something to do with it, but I’d tell her if I hated it. That she should ask for permission first.

But I never wanted her to ask because I was comfortable enough to let her get close to me whenever she felt like it.

I can’t understand her at times. She loves when I embrace her, lean against her, and play with her cunt, but she’s shy to reciprocate it.

I want to break the wall she’s hiding behind. To see her be wild and free. To no longer act like she has to be this perfect adult around me.

No one is perfect. Even Miya. And there’s nothing wrong with it.

I’d like her even if I saw the worst in her.

Miya’s ringing phone disturbed our intimate moment. She picked it up after she steadied her breaths.

“Yeah, give me ten minutes,” Miya said to whoever was on the other end of the call before hanging up.

Her eyes lingered on me before she sat up, and I moved off her.

“Who was calling you?” I asked as she adjusted her uniform.

“Conor,” she replied, not meeting my gaze. “He will pick me up soon.”

As I was about to say something, my phone started to buzz. Lauren was calling me.

“Hey, I need help. I wasn’t sure if Miya was working, so I didn’t want to disturb her, but I have no one else to call.” Lauren said, panic in her tone.

“What happened? Miya is about to go to work.”

“It’s my tire! I was driving because I had something very important, as you know, and my tire is gone! And I don’t want to waste money on calling someone to fix it. It’s too expensive.” Lauren explained.

Miya stared at me, her eyebrows furrowed. She badly wanted to know what happened.

“It’s alright. Just text me the location and we will get there.” I said.

“Oh heavens! Thank you so much, Ivy. You’re my savior.” Lauren sounded relieved.

After the call, I explained to Miya the situation, and she texted Conor to hurry up. Though she was supposed to go to the police station, saving people in need was her job as well.

And I had to tag along.

Conor wasn’t glad to see me, and neither was I him. He never liked me. He thinks I’m too obsessive and possessive. I hate that he’s right. Everything that comes to Miya is my business.

“Conor, hurry up. She’s got a flat tire on a highway. It’s so dangerous to be there.” Miya said.

“Woman, calm down. Conor will handle the situation.” He turned on the sirens, and I rolled my eyes. “And why is the little girl here as well?” He asked, staring at me in the rearview mirror.

Not this shit again.

“Stop calling me that. I’m an adult, you know? And Lauren is my boss. So, I’m making sure she’s safe and sound.” I said.

I could hear Miya chuckle. She never liked when we were arguing, so why was that interaction comical to her?

“Oh, I didn’t know you could care about someone else other than Miya.”

“Conor—”

“What? It’s only the truth. She only cares about you and nothing else. Don’t you remember when we went hiking and we both tripped, and she immediately ran to you but didn’t mind enough to check on me?”

Okay, that happened, but isn’t he a grown-ass man to take care of himself?

“I wasn’t aware you needed a babysitter, Conor. Should I hire one, so you wouldn’t yap about not being taken care of?” I mocked.

Miya sighed, and Conor frowned.

“I swear to God, you—”

“Stop, Conor. I see Lauren. Slow down.” Miya cut him off.

We stopped the car behind hers. She was standing on the side of the road, tears streaming down her eyes.

We all got out of the car and walked to her.

“Thank God you came! No one wanted to help me; some people even flipped me off. I was so scared.” Lauren sobbed.

Miya wrapped her arms around her, and Conor checked out the tire.

I wasn’t exactly happy that she was touching her so easily when she didn’t want to hug me first, but Lauren was startled and crying.

Still, it fucking hurt.

“Calm down, Lauren. You should have called me right away, though. We will help you.” Miya reasured her and rubbed her back.

I had to look away to Conor; otherwise, I’d get furious. I was so selfish and unfair. But I didn’t care. Miya was mine to touch. Only mine.

“Do you have a spare tire?” Conor asked as he darted back to us.

“Yes, I do,” Lauren said, eyeing Conor.

He opened the trunk and grabbed the spare tire and all the tools needed for its change. He began to change it, and Lauren and Miya started to talk. Lauren explained what happened, and Miya comforted her.

“Little girl, come here to help me,” Conor yelled.

I was hesitant at first, but I needed to make myself busy. I crouched down beside him and handed him the heavy tools.

“You surely regret coming with us,” Conor murmured.

“No, why would I?” I smiled.

He glanced at me. “You’re not very skilled at hiding your true feelings, Ivy. You are barely holding yourself back from dragging Miya away from Lauren.” He stated.

Why does he know me so well?

“I really can’t stand you, you know that?” I said, looking at him.

He turned to me with a smirk. “I’m very happy to hear that.”

When he was finished, we drove to the nearest fast-food place to get something to eat. Apparently, Conor got hungry from all the work he had done.

We ordered food and ate it in Lauren’s car since it had a lot more space. Thankfully, Miya was sitting with me in the back, and Conor was in the passenger seat. Why do I have a feeling he did that because of me?

“Thank you so much, Conor. I want to repay your kindness with a dinner.” Lauren annouced.

He turned red, touching his neck. “That’s not needed, Miss. It’s my job to help.”

“Still, let me cook you a dinner! At my place, whenever you’re free.” Lauren was strangely looking at him.

Is she attracted to him?

“He’s very free this weekend, right, Conor?” Miya chimed in, grinning.

“Ohh, yeah, right. I totally am.” He laughed, giving a side glance to Miya.

Lauren smiled at him, her face a bit flushed. “It’s settled then.”

The two of them started to chat, and we let them be. I guess someone could be attracted to Conor. Strange taste.

“Oh, sorry,” Miya murmured as she accidentally bumped her leg against mine.

I looked at her, not understanding why she apologized.

I reached my hand to hers that was resting next to her thigh and intertwined our fingers. Miya’s eyes grew wide, blood rushing to her cheeks. She looked out of the window, taking deep breaths.

Was she glad I touched her? Or she hated it? I couldn’t tell at all.

But she will have no other choice than to like my fingers intertwined with hers.

⸻⸻

I

vy

was heavily inspired by the dark romance books I’m reading. I need therapy.

Thank you for your support! We reached 11k reads <3

14 - Suffering

Ivy’s POV

Lauren gave me a day off because, apparently, because of me, she could meet Conor, and she wants to be friends with him—well, at least for now.

I was grateful for a small break since I needed to work on my canvas. Other than the clothes in the shop, I haven’t sewed for quite some time.

I usually make dresses because I think they are the easiest to make, but I decided to try something else.

I’ll give Miya a hoodie on Christmas. She is so obsessed with wearing them. The only time she takes them off is when it is too hot during summer.

I started sketching some designs to prepare beforehand. But I was more focused on my painting. It needed to be good. Not excellent or perfect. I’m nowhere near that level.

I dipped the brush into the paint and contoured the most important places on a human face. The ones that defined our appearance. Painting Miya’s face was a very easy job because I memorized her face like a tattoo stencil. Every line, every curve.

I settled on a colorful, close-up portrait of half of her face. While I loved the huge canvas of her in uniform, this felt much different. Special. Better. More intimate. It showed off her beauty, her Korean features that were asymmetrical.

The more I painted, the more I realized how stunning this woman looked. She looked hardly in her thirties. She had this eternal youth I could only wish for.

Her high cheekbones, the curve of her sharp jawline, and the slight tilt of her almond-shaped eyes all came to life under my brush. The colors I chose—soft peaches, deep browns, and light gold—weren’t just to match her skin but to show the warmth she carried.

I couldn’t help but smile as I worked on the small details—the small birthmark that was on her cheek, the subtle shadow beneath her bottom lip. Her beauty wasn’t just in her symmetry but in her flaws, the tiny imperfections that made her look real, grounded, human.

As the hours passed, I became so focused that I barely noticed the ache in my back or the growing stiffness in my fingers.   I took a couple of breaks to eat and drink, but I couldn’t stop. Not when I was the most inspired.

My clothes were dirty from the paint, even some of it got into my hair, and I won’t mention my skin. I was fully covered in paint.

But the final result was worth it.

It would take a couple of days to finish it completely, but the more I worked on it, the sooner I’d be done with it.

I heard that some paintings were sold if they were good enough and for a very high price. Not that I’m hoping I’d find a buyer, but it would be a nice feeling to sell my first painting.

• 

• 

•

The sun was setting when I realized I had spent the whole day in my room, and with paint. I took a long shower, cooked dinner for Miya, and turned on the TV. I had to stop myself; otherwise, I’d work on the canvas until midnight.

Also, I wanted to see Miya.

So I turned on my favorite show and binge-watched a whole season of it until I heard the door getting unlocked. I jumped onto my feet and ran to Miya. I wrapped my arms around her neck and locked my legs around her waist.

She was quite startled.

“How was work?” I asked, my chin on her shoulder.

She put her hands around my back and walked with me into her bedroom.

“We were on a chase. It was truly a hard day. We almost lost the criminal.” Miya replied, opening her dresser. I hugged her tighter.

“But you caught him. And that’s all that matters.” I said.

“Yes, but if the backup didn’t come in time, we wouldn’t.”

She sounded exhausted and angry, she even forgot to get shy. I’ll make your night better, though.

“Dinner is ready,” I whispered.

She sighed and put me down on her bed. “Thank you, Ivy. I’ll take a shower first.” She briefly smiled.

While she was showering, I went to my bedroom and changed into the black lingerie I had bought a couple of weeks ago. I braided my hair so it wouldn’t cover what I wanted to be exposed and took one last thing that I had hidden in a safe place. I was hesitant to buy it. Even embarrassed. But I wanted it for a while, so I ordered it online.

Once I was ready, I put on a pink bathrobe and strode to Miya’s bedroom, my heart hammering against my chest. She was turned back to me, only dressed in oversized shorts, her hair tied in a low bun. Even from behind she looked like a goddess. Those arm muscles, and finer ass.

As she turned around and caught the sight of me, her eyes grew wide. She immediately folded her arms over her chest, as if I didn’t already see her breasts.

“Why are you here?” She asked, her voice slightly trembled.

My eyes narrowed.

“Am I annoying you?” I questioned.

She cleared her throat. “Of course not. You could never annoy me, but I was changing.”

I started moving toward her. “I’ve already seen how gifted you are,” I said, and she moved backward.

“You shouldn’t hide them from me, Miya. They are only meant for my eyes.” I whispered, and Miya sat down on the edge of the bed as she had nowhere else to go.

“T-That’s nice to hear, really, but I have to go—”

“Go? Where?” I untied my bathrobe and let it fall from my shoulders to the floor.

She looked at me as a deer staring at headlights.

She drank in my body, her eyes betraying her as they went up and down. I saw her gulp. She fucking loved me dressed in this.

“I’m going to make you suffer.” I softly said, and crawled on top of the bed, while Miya’s eyes followed me.

I positioned myself on my knees and then opened them wide. Miya’s arms fell to the sides of her body. I guess she didn’t care anymore that I was seeing her chest.

“Do you know what it’s like being touch-starved? You shouldn’t be because I always hug you and touch you whenever possible. But it seems you have no desire to do so as well.” I said and shifted my hand to my breast. “Why don’t you want to touch me, Miya?” I asked and started circling my nipple.

“You can easily hug other people, but you apologize for accidentally bumping your knee against mine?” I pinched my nipple and twisted it.

She stared at what I was doing to myself. Her breaths became louder, and I smirked because my plan was working.

“Don’t you want to lay your hands on me? For a whole year, not even once did you have the desire?” I squeezed my breast and let out a soft gasp.

She looked hypnotized or rather mesmerized. But it was not enough to push her. To touch me.

My hand then traveled slowly down my chest to my stomach and slipped between my legs. “I’ve always imagined you rub my pussy like this.” I circled my clit and held eye contact with her.

“While you were at work, I sneaked into your bedroom. I smelled your clothes, touched your stuff, and then made myself come on your bed.” I fastened my fingers and let out a moan.

Miya’s lips parted, her breaths ragged.

“This…this is what I do to myself every day because you never once touched me.” I panted. “And you know what I’m saying over and over until I feel myself tremble?”

Miya moved slightly forward, her fingers curled into fists.

“Miyaaa, oh please, Miyyyaa…” I moaned, feeling myself closer to coming.

“Stop!” I was shoved on my back. Miya’s body trapping me, her lips on mine. Needy, rough, and wild. She never kissed me so passionately, so full of lust.

“You’re killing me. Please stop.” She murmured against my lips and bit them.

I whimpered, getting more wet than ever before. I dreamt of experiencing this for months. So for it to finally happen was surreal.

Her lips moved under my jaw, tracing a path down my neck with kisses and biting. I didn’t care I’d be full of marks. That’s exactly what I wanted. To be marked by her.

When Miya caressed my inner thigh, I was in heaven.

I never want this to end.

Her fingers didn’t wait and entered me, first circling my clit and then sliding inside me.

“Oh God,” I exclaimed, and Miya’s lips were brushing against my hardened nipple.

She thrust in a fast rhythm, not slowing down. I was dripping wet, her fingers fully soaked in my wetness.

“Miyaaa,” I gasped as she bit my nipple.

Afterward, she licked it and kissed me all over my breasts. She was so wild, so carefree. I’ve never seen her like this. Her fingers moved faster and faster until I was completely losing it, my voice echoing through the whole apartment and probably even through the building.

“You have no idea how much you tortured me,” Miya spoke for the first time into my ear. “How dare you walk in your little dress outside and make me so thirsty for you? You’re so fragile; I don’t want to break you. I’m scared of hurting you, Ivy. But you’re always tempting me.” She laughed, and it tickled.

What she said sent me over the edge; I came all over her fingers, my body twitching. Loud moans escaped my mouth, and I made sure they went directly into Miya’s ear.

For a couple of seconds, I was only breathing heavily, and her fingers were still inside me. Her lips returned to mine, and she began to kiss me in painfully slow motions.

She devoured me as I did her. But it was still not over. Not until I had her.

I broke our mouths apart and looked into her eyes. “Take your shorts off and lie on your back,” I whispered, and she nodded. Her fingers pulled out of me, and its warmth was missed. I was a bit sore, but the pain was worth it.

I got off the bed to grab the bathrobe and pull from the pocket a strap-on. I put it on and glanced at Miya, whose mouth was open.

I smirked and got back to bed.

“This is my present for you,” I said as my hand reached out and stroked her hair, the soft strands cascaded around her face. She looked like she was in another universe, not understanding what was happening.

I pushed her on her back and spread her legs wide. Even though I’d never done this, I was confident enough to make her orgasm.

I rubbed my fingers against her pussy, and God, she was so wet. I licked my fingers and grabbed her wrists, holding them beside her head. I took a deep breath and thrust the dildo inside her on the first try. She gasped because it probably hurt a bit.

She was fully red as a tomato, tears in her eyes.

I started slowly thrusting inside her to let her slowly readjust, but she took it better than I thought. Because after a couple of seconds, her hips rocked in my rhythm.

God, her face was so aroused. Her breasts slightly bouncing. It was the perfect view.

I started moving quicker, and she kept moaning, drowning in pleasure. I was lost in the moment, and I could feel her orgasm approaching.

It didn’t take long for her to come. Her nails bore into my arms, and her back arched. She let out a really loud moan, and I already wanted another round. I took then the strap off and collapsed on top of her. She wrapped her arms around me, breathing heavily.

I felt like we progressed in our relationship. I broke the wall Miya was hiding behind and saw every bit of her. The good and the bad.

She tightened her arms around me, and I smiled.

I finally felt loved.

⸻⸻

This is probably the wildest smut scene I’ve ever written…

Be nice! Lol.

15 - Confessing

The next day at work was a total blur.

I couldn’t get rid of the image of Ivy dressed in her black lingerie, fingering herself in front of me. Hell, I was fighting my demons when I saw that.

I couldn’t suppress the temptation. It was impossible when she was moaning my name, her face red and breaths heavy.

Like I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t have a lot of experience with these sorts of things, but shoving my fingers inside her was easy enough.

I’ve been secretly thinking about it from time to time. Especially, when she was running around in her thin pajamas or short dress.

But these thoughts didn’t last for long, as I felt immediately guilty.

I had to erase these thoughts when I made love to her. I didn’t want the guilt to dwell on me. But as I looked around at my coworkers, I wondered if they would judge me for liking a twenty-year-old girl. Fuck, they probably would.

I’ve never had any bad intentions with Ivy. I always wanted to protect her and cherish her. But she fucking broke me.

I’ve fallen for her. For her encouraging words. For her cooking. For the way, she smiles at me when I come home from work. For the way, she tucks her hair behind her ear when she’s deep in thought. For the way she hums while she sews, completely lost in her own world.

I’ve fallen for the way she makes me feel like I belong somewhere—like I belong with her.

Even the little things, the things that should annoy me, only make me love her more. The way she always leaves the cap off the toothpaste. How she steals my hoodies and pretends she doesn’t know where they’ve gone. The way she clings to me in her sleep, as if even in her dreams, she doesn’t want to let me go.

Suddenly, I couldn’t imagine a day I wouldn’t see her run to me, greet me, and hug me. She’s what my life was missing.

“Hey.” Conor’s voice alarmed me.

“Yeah?” I looked at him.

“We got to go. We had a call.” He announced.

I nodded, and together we hurried out of the office. We drove to our destination in silence. I was looking out of the window, thinking. And Conor has been thinking as well. His eyebrows were drawn together when he was in his head.

It took me ten minutes to finally speak.

“Conor, I have to tell you something.”

“Actually, so do I.”

We looked at each other in unison. I cleared my throat, staring back at the road.

“Go on first. Yours must be more important.” I said.

He coughed. “I’m sure yours must be even more, so don’t hold back. Spill out everything.”

I thought about the best way to say this. But there was no way to say it safely.

“Uhm, you might kill me for this, but…” I looked at him. “I started dating.”

“What? That’s great news! What do you mean—”

“I started dating Ivy.”

A long silence filled the air, and I swallowed hard.

Conor’s opinion was something I valued. This was by no means the right decision from my side since I’m the older one, but I can’t make myself not like her.

Conor hit the gas pedal and took a deep breath.

“You’re dating Ivy? Ivy Owens?” He questioned.

“Yes, I’m dating the Ivy. I know it’s a shock.”

“Actually,” he paused. “It isn’t a shock at all. I waited for the day you would tell me that the little girl caught you in her birdcage. It took longer than I expected.” Conor laughed, and I couldn’t believe my ears.

“Little girl in what now?” I exclaimed, frowning. “You know I’m the older one, so it’s me who caught her in a birdcage, not the other way around.”

Conor began to laugh hysterically, and I swear if he wasn’t driving, he would get smacked in the head.

“Ok, that’s enough. What did you want to tell me?”

And suddenly he became quiet.

“Conor. Speak.” I bore my eyes into his skull.

“Well, I’ve been on a couple of dates.” He burst out, and my eyes shot out of my skull.

“Is it…” I began. “Lauren?”

He parked the car and got out of it. I rushed after him, not caring where we were headed.

“I can’t believe you two are going out!” I shouted, and Conor turned red. “It’s a good thing, really. Lauren is the sweetest woman, who loves men in uniform.” I laughed.

“Tell me about it.” He said more to himself with a smirk.

I didn’t want to know what that meant.

He cleared his throat and pulled out his gun. “Let’s talk about this later, Officer Kim.”

“Roger,” I grinned.

• • •

Two hours later, we came back to the station. What I wasn’t expecting was to find Ivy sitting behind my desk and all my coworkers circled around her like a pack of wolves. She was laughing and answering their questions, which I could barely hear.

I strode inside, toward my desk, and it took a few seconds for everyone to notice me.

“You’re already back?” Hailey asked as she turned around.

“Yeah, if you mean already, like, two hours later, then yes.” I joked, and Ivy met my eyes.

“Don’t be a meanie, Kim,” Hailey said as she wrapped her hand around my arm.

I could feel Ivy’s piercing eyes like a bullet.

“Be careful, Williams. Miya is taken.” Conor suddenly chimed in.

I shot him a death glare, and he only shrugged. Everyone in the room gasped, their eyes on me as if I was about to tell them who I was dating.

I mean, I would eventually. But it felt a bit risky to reveal it now, and I had no idea how Ivy would feel about it.

“Since when?” Eliot asked.

“Yeah, why haven’t you announced the news?” Marcus said.

I took a deep breath and carefully writhed out of Hailey’s grasp. She didn’t seem to mind it, and I was glad. I knew Ivy hated it when other people touched me. She’s a very possessive person.

“I was about to tell you, but it’s still new,” I said, looking at Ivy for a moment.

“Exactly, so leave her be, and you will soon know everything.” Conor put his arm around my shoulders.

They were all pretty disappointed, but I wasn’t comfortable with the pressure. I would tell them about Ivy when it felt right.

They all turned back to Ivy and tried to get an answer from her. But she was simply smiling, saying she didn’t know who I was dating. I knew she was hurt. I could see it on her face.

“Thank you for the food, Ivy. You’re such an angel.” Hailey said to her.

“Don’t thank me. It’s nothing.” Ivy replied and then glanced at me.

I coughed, trying to show them it was time to go back to their own desk. Thankfully, they understood, and I got closer to Ivy. I grabbed a free chair and sat next to her.

“Aren’t you working today?” I wondered, staring into her beautiful blue eyes.

“I’m working, but Lauren asked me to bring Conor something she baked for him. So she sent me over. We didn’t have a lot of work.” Ivy explained.

I nodded, examining the cake that was placed on my desk.

“Ivy, listen—”

“Shh, we will talk about this at home, Miya. I have to go back.” Ivy cut me off.

She was smiling at me, but I could recognize the fakeness. I hated it. It wasn’t a sincere smile.

“Alright.”

Ivy walked over to Conor, handed him the cake, and whispered something in his ear that instantly turned his face bright red. Before leaving, she waved goodbye to my coworkers. I took the chance to step outside for a quick smoke, using it as an excuse to steal a few minutes alone with her.

We walked outside the station to the parking lot. Ivy was dressed in a mini denim skirt and a black crop top with pink text that said, You wish.

My eyes slid down her long legs, and I recalled everything again.

“My eyes are up here, Officer.”

I cleared my throat and looked up. She was smirking, her arms folded.

“I love this skirt on you, but I hate that everyone can see you so exposed,” I whispered and closed the distance between us.

She placed her hand on my stomach to stop me from coming even closer. “Someone could see us. You don’t want that, right?” Her eyebrows rose.

I threw the cigarette on the ground and sighed. “Ivy, it’s not that easy. Our age gap is quite big. And not all of them know I’m a lesbian.”

“Why do you care what other people think? And I’m not a little child anymore, Miya. It’s getting on my nerves. You always talk about me like I’m a five-year-old.” She snapped.

I wrapped my hands around Ivy’s stomach despite her hands pushing me away. I leaned down to be at the same eye level as her.

“I’m sorry, princess. I guess I just don’t know how this should work and what I should do next. But that doesn’t change the fact that you mean so much to me.”

Ivy’s eyes softened, and a faint smile appeared on her lips. I wanted to say the word love , but I wasn’t sure if it was too soon for it to be spoken out loud. I knew it was a love I felt toward her. It wasn’t just mere lust. I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

“Take your time, Miya. I don’t want to pressure you.” She said. “But since Conor knows about us?”

I smirked. “I told him today. He’s my best friend. I don’t want to hide this from him.” My hand gently grazed her cheek.

She leaned into my touch and closed her eyes. I noticed her long lashes and a couple of freckles decorating her nose. It was the cutest thing ever.

“I have to go back,” I said softly, and she opened her eyes.

“Me too, but I don’t want to.” She whispered, looking at my lips.

My hands cupped her cheeks, and I gently brushed my thumb across her lips. They were so soft, so full, and slightly red. I could never get enough of them.

“You’re so beautiful,” I murmured, and Ivy shivered. Then I quickly looked around, and when I saw no one familiar, I grabbed her face and gave her a brief kiss.

Only then did she finally smile at me like she always does. 

⸻⸻

16 - Dating

The weekend came, and Lauren and Ivy arranged behind mine and Conor’s back a picnic date. From the very start it wasn’t the greatest idea, but could we refuse?

Lauren seemed to figure out that Ivy and I were together. We weren’t exactly hiding our relationship. When I sometimes visited Ivy at work during my patrol, she clung to me like she always does, and I was smiling from ear to ear like a fool.

Everyone who is not blind could clearly see we are together.

Lauren knew about my sexuality, and she was always very supportive, which I appreciate. Ivy said she tried to deny her claims about us, but Lauren said we were crystal clear, and no one could convince her otherwise.

Before we headed to the picnic, Ivy nervously stood in front of me in the living room. She was dressed in black shorts and a light blue cami tank top with a little white ribbon at the cleavage.

I don’t remember the last time I saw her this nervous, let alone in front of me. She usually hides it. She doesn’t like to be weak in my presence.

“Is something wrong?” I asked as I turned off the TV.

Ivy kept shifting her weight, her hands behind her back.

“I need to show you something.” She said, glancing at me.

I raised a brow. “What is it?” I wondered.

She suddenly grabbed my hands and pulled me from the couch. She was a lot stronger than I thought.

“It’s in my room.” She said, staring at me.

My eyes narrowed. “Is this some kind of a trick? Ivy, we have to leave for the picnic in fifteen minutes.”

She shook her head frantically. “No! Not this time. Just please go take a look.” She urged.

I sighed and nodded. She then dragged me into her bedroom, and I stood in front of a canvas holder that was half hidden with a piece of large fabric.

“Remember when I told you I have to paint a canvas for a showcase?” Ivy said.

“Yes, I do. But you didn’t know what to paint.”

“Well, you gave me an idea.” She smiled and hesitantly revealed the canvas.

My jaw dropped to the floor. It was a portrait of me. Half of my face. She painted every single detail of my features that even I’m not aware of.

So this is what I look like in her eyes.

I couldn’t stop looking at it. It was a perfection in every way.

“Oh my God,” I mumbled. “Ivy, this is unbelievable.”

She strode to me and linked her arm with mine. “I worked on this for a week. Now I’m finally happy with the result.” She stated, proudly looking at her creation.

I cupped her cheek, and she looked up at me.

“I’m so proud of you, Ivy. You’re so fucking talented. You’re the most amazing person I know.” I softly spoke.

She shook her head. “I could be even better. I want to improve, Miya. Not only as a painter but as a person as well.”

I smiled. “Of course, princess. Together we will change for the better.” Then I kissed her on top of her forehead.

• • •

We drove to the meeting location, and Conor and Lauren were already waiting for us. Lauren held glasses of wine, and Conor held two baskets full of food. I had to suppress a smile when I saw he was dressed in a polo shirt and very elegant shorts.

When he’s not on duty, he looks like a homeless person. We do have the same clothing style, though. So I guess I’m looking like a homeless person all the time as well?

Anyway, as we grabbed the desserts from the trunk that Ivy baked, she immediately intertwined our fingers. I smirked at her, and she didn’t even meet my gaze. I can’t believe she’s shy now.

We walked toward Conor and Lauren, our hands interlocked. It felt strange to finally have someone’s hand in mine. My chest was about to burst from the ecstasy.

Conor immediately smiled at me in a sly way, and I rolled my eyes. I guess it will take time for him to not tease me.

“I’m so happy we have met!” Lauren exclaimed and hooked her arm through Conor’s. He turned into a tomato in the next second, embarrassingly looking at the ground.

“Me too, Lauren. You two seemed to get pretty close, huh?” I said, looking back and forth between Lauren and Ivy.

“Of course we did! Lauren is the best boss I could ever ask for.” Ivy smiled.

“Oh my god, Ivy. Stop fluttering me.” Lauren laughed.

Then we decided to move on the grass after Conor spread a blanket over it. It was so large we all fit to sit on it. The weather was amazing. No clouds in the sky, just the shining sun. So many people apparently had the same idea as us and were having a picnic with their partner or kids. My introverted ass somehow didn’t mind it. It felt quite nice.

I snatched the bottle of wine and opened it. I began to pour the wine into the glasses, and Conor grabbed my wrist as I was about to fill Ivy’s glass.

“Don’t you know the law, Miya?” Conor taunted.

I sighed, and Ivy and Lauren looked confused at us.

“Ivy is not twenty-one yet,” I said.

Ivy shot a death glare at Conor, and he was already laughing.

“Do you always have to be so unbearable, or were you born that way?” Ivy began.

“And here we go again…” I mumbled and took a sip of the wine.

Conor gasped, clutching his heart. “Kid, you better take that back.”

Ivy scoffed. “And if I don’t, what will you do? Slap me?” She held out a hand before he spoke. “Right, you can’t do that. You’re a police officer.” She grinned.

While they were bickering, Lauren and I ate the desserts Ivy made, and God, she’s blessed with those hands to make something taste this good.

“For how long will this last?” Lauren asked in a whisper.

“Just a couple more minutes. Sorry for that.” I said.

Lauren moved closer to me and stared at Conor as she spoke. “When I saw him for the first time changing my tire, it was like love at first sight. When I looked at him, flowers bloomed in my stomach, and I felt slightly embarrassed by that since I’m thirty-two. I couldn’t help myself, though. I knew that if I let him slip through my fingers, I’d regret it till the day that I die.”

I understood her words too well. I was looking at Ivy as well, and I felt every word Lauren said. No matter how wrong our relationship was, I couldn’t let her go. It’s selfish to want someone and not consider if you’re the best option for them. However, I knew Ivy was made for me. That there wouldn’t be someone better than her. She was the one and only option.

“Lauren, as a friend, I want the best for Conor and you. But please, don’t break his heart. He’s too good.” I said.

Lauren giggled and bumped into my shoulder. “I have no plans of doing that, Miya. I want Conor for life.”

“What are you two talking about?” Conor chimed in.

I rolled my eyes. “Are you finally done?”

“Yeah,” Ivy replied.

After that, we began to talk and eat. It was truly a relaxing weekend with the people I care about. I couldn’t wish for more. This was enough for me.

Lauren and Conor looked like a great match, and I was overjoyed he finally found someone worthy of his time. Someone who truly wants him.

Ivy was leaning against my shoulder, laughing at something Conor said, and Lauren didn’t get what he was saying. I watched them talk over each other. Conor trying to find the right words, Ivy dying laughing at him, and Lauren almost getting angry at everyone.

The afternoon was going according to the plans.

Until it wasn’t.

I don’t know whose bright idea it was to go to a club, but it definitely wasn’t mine. We had to walk there since we had many glasses of wine, and I can’t emphasize how many times Conor tripped and bumped into things.

But we somehow made it inside. We were all a bit drunk when we made the decision to go there.

“I don’t think this is for us anymore,” Conor whispered into my ear.

“I think so as well,” I murmured as I stared at the crowds of people on the dance floor. Hearing the loud music belting in my ears only made me realize this was not for someone like me.

Ivy glued to my waist, and I almost lost all my balance. “You two! Stop being so grumpy. You act as if you were eighty years old.”

“Exactly! People our age are having fun. Just look around.” Lauren exclaimed.

I scanned the crowd and watched as people danced without a care in the world, their laughter blending with the pounding music. “Yeah, people our age are having fun, but they’re not the ones stuck working overtime every day,” I muttered.

Ivy rolled her eyes and tugged at my hand. “Oh, stop it, Miya. You need to loosen up a bit.”

I sighed. Ivy was always dragging me into situations I didn’t want to be in, and the worst part? I always gave in. “Fine, but don’t expect me to dance.”

“I don’t take no for an answer!” she grinned.

“Come on!” she said, dragging me toward the dance floor.

The music hit me like a wave as we pushed through the crowd, bodies swaying and moving to the beat. Ivy turned to face me, her pink hair glowing under the strobe lights, her smile radiant.

“Just follow me.” She placed her hands on my shoulders.

I stood there stiffly, unsure of what to do. Dancing had never been my thing. But Ivy didn’t seem to care. She started moving, swaying her hips in time with the music, and her enthusiasm was contagious.

“Loosen up, Miya!” She laughed, grabbing my hands and pulling me closer.

I couldn’t help but smile at her determination. Taking a deep breath, I let myself move, letting the music guide me. At first, it felt awkward, but Ivy didn’t stop encouraging me, her laugh infectious as she spun me around.

Ivy giggled and tilted her head back, the lights catching her face in a way that made my chest tighten. She was glowing, alive in a way I rarely saw, and for a moment, I couldn’t look away.

“There you go!” she shouted.

“You’re actually enjoying this, aren’t you?” I asked, her gaze meeting mine.

She shook her head. “Maybe a little.”

She leaned in again—this time, her lips finding mine. The kiss was warm and familiar, yet it sent a thrill through me, just like it always did. My arms tightened around her instinctively, holding her close as I lost myself in her touch, her scent, the taste of her.

The rest of the club seemed to vanish. There were no flashing lights, no pounding bass, and no crowd of strangers surrounding us. Just Ivy and the way she kissed me, slow and cautious, like we had all the time in the world.

When we finally pulled apart, her forehead rested against mine, her breath warm against my lips. She grinned, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling. “See? You’re even more gorgeous when you smile.”

“You’re impossible,” I murmured, but I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me.

“And yet, you like me,” she teased, her fingers brushing against my cheek.

“I do,” I admitted softly, pushing a strand of pink hair out of her face. “I like you very much.”

Her smile widened, and she kissed me again—quick and light this time—before taking my hand. “C’mon. Let’s keep dancing. I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”

“Neither am I,” I laced my fingers with hers as we returned to the rhythm of the music.

⸻⸻

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17 - Hurting

Ivy’s POV

Two weeks went by at the speed of light. Miya was less and less shy around me. She began to hug me out of nowhere, even though she was flushed most of the time. She was trying to change, and be more open to me. I felt my heart swell because of that.

When someone chooses to become a better person because of you, it means they truly care. They want to see you happy and refuse to let you down.

Unlike Miya, my parents never cared. And no matter how much time passed, their betrayal over drugs still cut deep. I was never their priority, and that wouldn’t have changed even if I hadn’t ended up in the orphanage. God knows where I’d be now—maybe surviving on the streets like

a canal rat until there would be nothing left of me, just bones. 

I’m grateful for the orphanage. The time there wasn’t easy, but the suffering was worth it because it led me to Miya. My savior, and one and only soulmate.

I smiled and opened the design on my laptop of Miya’s hoodie to show it to Lauren. It was a black hoodie with a red inside and strings.

The most interesting part about the hoodie was the embroidery scattered across the chest, cascading down the right sleeve with vivid roses, their petal’s deep red color, stitched with such precision that they seemed almost alive. Surrounding it were smaller buds and leaves, in a sage green shade.

“Ivy! This is a masterpiece,” Lauren gasped. “Miya is going to absolutely love this hoodie.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You really think so? I was a little worried she might not like it. Doesn’t it seem a bit too youthful?”

Lauren nudged me into my shoulder playfully and chuckled. “Silly, of course not! And Miya isn’t sixty years old.” 

“Yeah, I know, but—”

“No buts, Ivy. She’s going to love it. That’s a fact.” Lauren flashed me a reassuring smile, and just like that, some of my worries faded.

She browsed through a few purple fabrics, comparing different shades against each other. “So, when are you planning to give it to her?”

“On Christmas,” I replied. “It’s only a couple of months away, so I need to hurry up.”

“I can help if you’d like,” Lauren offered.

I shook my head. “It’s so nice of you, but I want to make it myself. I want to prove I’m able to do anything I put my mind to, and this project means much more to me than all the previous ones.”

“I love your spirit, Ivy. Never lose it. Always be like this.” Lauren said.

As I was about to say something, Lauren’s phone began to ring. She picked it up and immediately had a smirk on her face.

“What’s up? Did you miss me?” She teased, twisting a strand of hair around her finger. “Hello? Are you there? Why are you quiet?” Her eyebrows furrowed.

I began to cut some fabric, not trying to eavesdrop, but Lauren seemed to be distraught. Her lips turned into a thin line.

“Uhm, yes. She’s with me,” she whispered, but I heard it. She was definitely talking about me.

The scissors fell out of my fingers, and I strode to Lauren. Her eyes suddenly grew wide, and her posture straightened. I started to worry about why her behavior changed so out of the blue, and what could Conor possibly say to her. 

“Y-Yes, we will be right there,” she stammered before quickly hanging up. She shoved her phone into her pocket and snatched her purse from the chair.

“What happened? Where are we going?” I asked, eyeing her.

Lauren froze mid-step, taking a deep breath before turning to face me. Her expression was tense, worry written into her furrowed brows. “Ivy, you have to promise me you won’t freak out when I tell you this.”

I swallowed hard, my breathing getting rapid. “I don’t know. W-What is wrong, Lauren? Why are acting this way?”

“Conor called me. He told me to make sure you’re calm, and won’t freak out.” Lauren started. “Ivy, we have to leave immediately. We have to go to a hospital.”

My heart skipped a beat. “H-Hospital? W-Why?” 

I knew why. But I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe something had happened to her .

“Ivy, Miya is in a critical condition. She was shot.”

And my world suddenly crumbled. The time slowed down, and despite Lauren’s words, I became deaf. I was only hearing my fast-beating heart. For a second, I couldn’t feel my legs, and I was sure I was about to faint, but Lauren was quick enough to grab me, and started to call my name.

I don’t know how I got into the hospital. I was hyperventilating, and the images of Miya being dead flashed before my eyes. No tears spilled down my cheeks. I couldn’t react that way or I’d totally lose it.

When I ran from the car to the hospital hall, I found Conor crouching down against a wall, his face in his hands. Tears in his eyes.

“Where is she?” I yelled, and Conor lifted his gaze.

“In the operating room.” He replied, his eyes red from crying.

Isn’t it crazy how your world can turn upside down in a matter of seconds? For one minute you’re happy, and then one phone call changes everything, and you can no longer care what you will have for dinner, or if you’re hungry or exhausted. 

You can only think about one thing, and that is the person who can no longer be by your side. You begin to imagine the world without them, and slowly you shatter. You’re on the floor, your arms around your knees, and you’re rocking back and forth, waiting for the doctor to tell you that she will live. That she will survive. But you’re also preparing for the worst-case scenario. And that is when her heart will no longer beat.

I lost my family, but I can’t survive losing my love.

•

Miya’s POV

We have been following a case of drug dealers for half a year. We always lost track of them, and today, we by a miracle found a clue. A very important one. Because it led to their warehouse where they stored all the narcotics.

Conor, Brandon, Hailey, Noah, and I followed them in a hidden police car. Conor, Noah, and I were in one car, and Bradon and Hailey in another. We kept a safe distance not to uncover us. The mini gray van was speeding, turning left and right exiting the town. 

If only they knew, they were leading us into their secret base.

When they stopped before an abandoned warehouse, we took a hiding near the gas station to not raise suspicion.

The tension in the car was excruciating as we watched a man step out, tall and slim, wearing a hoodie that hid most of his face. Another man followed, swinging a duffle bag over his shoulder.

I kept my eyes on the men as they approached the warehouse doors. Noah was in the back seat, fumbling with the radio to inform Brandon and Hailey. “We’ve got movement,” he said into the mic. “Two suspects entering the building.”

Brandon’s voice spoke back through the speaker. “Copy that. We’re parked on the west side, ready to move when you are.”

Conor glanced at me. “What’s the plan?”

I exhaled sharply. “We wait until they’re inside, then we move in quietly. The goal is to confirm this is their stash, not blow our cover.”

Noah scoffed. “Quietly? You know this is going to go to hell the second we step in there.”

“Maybe,” I said, checking the gun holstered at my side. “But we’ve been chasing these guys for months. If we let them slip away now—” I stopped, unable to finish the sentence. The thought of losing them again was unbearable.

We watched as the men pushed open the heavy metal doors and disappeared inside. Moments later, a faint light flickered on, casting eerie shadows through the warehouse’s dirty windows.

“Alright, let’s go. Brandon and Hailey will cover the rear. We’ll take the front.” I said.

I stepped out of the car, my heart pounding fast as we crept toward the warehouse, staying low to avoid being seen.

As we reached the side of the building, Conor held up a hand, signaling us to stop. He peeked around the corner before motioning for us to follow. We pressed ourselves against the wall, listening intently. Faint voices and the metallic clinking of objects being moved echoed from within.

Noah leaned in close to whisper, “This place looks like it’s ready to collapse. We’d better hope they don’t start a gunfight in here.”

I gave him a sly smirk. “Let’s not give them the chance.”

Conor reached for the radio. “Brandon, Hailey, are you in position?”

“Yes,” Hailey’s voice replied. “Ready when you are.”

“On my count,” Conor said. “Three…two…”

Before he could finish, a loud crash came from inside, followed by shouting. The drug dealers must have heard something—or one of us.

“Move!” Conor yelled, drawing his weapon. We rushed toward the entrance, and as soon as we stepped inside, chaos began.

The inside of the warehouse was a mess. Crates stacked against the walls, some cracked open, spilling bags of white powder onto the floor. Two of the guys we’d been following were arguing with another man, who was rushing to load the bags into a larger wooden crate near the center of the room.

They looked frantic, completely unaware they’d just brought the cops right to their front door.

I raised my gun. “Police! Hands in the air!”

The suspects froze, their heads snapping toward us. For a split second, everything was still. Then, one of them rushed toward the back exit, and the others fled for cover.

“Split up!” Conor ordered. “Noah, with me! Miya, take the left side!”

I nodded, heart pounding as I pivoted left, weaving between the crates. I drew a sharp breath as I scanned the dimly lit room for movement. Somewhere to my right, I could hear Hailey and Brandon shouting from the rear entrance.

I nodded, my heart racing as I moved left, slipping between the towering crates. My breaths came quick and shallow, the dim light making every shadow feel alive. From somewhere to my right, Hailey and Brandon’s shouts echoed near the rear entrance.

Then, a loud bang shattered the air—a gunshot. My body tensed, instinctively ducking as I pressed myself against a stack of crates.

“Shots fired!” Conor’s voice boomed over the radio. “Suspect is armed!”

I peeked around the corner and spotted one of the men, crouched behind a pile of barrels. His hand was trembling as he held a pistol, his eyes darting wildly.

“Drop the weapon!” I shouted, aiming my gun at him. “Now!”

Instead of submitting, he raised the pistol, and my stomach twisted. Before I could react, he fired.

Pain exploded in my thigh like a hot brand. I stumbled back, the shock knocking me off balance. My legs gave under me, and I hit the ground hard, clutching my leg as a warm, wet sensation spread beneath my hand.

“Miya!” Conor’s voice roared, but I couldn’t focus. The pain was overwhelming, sharp, and relentless. My vision blurred as I tried to stay awake.

Noah’s footsteps thundered nearby, followed by another series of gunshots. The man who shot me let out a cry and collapsed, clutching his arm where Noah had hit him.

“I’ve got you!” Noah shouted, dropping to his knees beside me. He pressed his hands against my wound, trying to stem the bleeding. “Stay with me, Miya!”

“Brandon, Hailey, we need backup inside!” Conor’s voice was frantic over the radio. “Officer down—get EMTs here now!”

The world around me felt distant, muffled by the pounding in my ears. I clenched my teeth, fighting the darkness. The chaos of the warehouse faded into the background as I focused on Conor’s voice.

“You’re going to be fine,” he said, his tone firm. “Just keep breathing.”

But as the adrenaline subsided, I couldn’t stop the fear crawling in my skin.

I wasn’t ready for this chase to end—not like this. But as my vision blurred, I realized I didn’t have much choice. I was done for.

⸻⸻

18 - Revealing

I’ve been through a lot of agony in my life, but the white-hot pain I felt in my thigh couldn’t be compared to it. I could barely open my eyes and move my lips as I was under the anesthesia. The room was too blue, and it smelled of chemicals. I was all alone with no one by my side. Did they leave me, or didn’t they let Ivy know what happened?

I slightly turned my head to the nightstand and pressed the button on it. A couple of minutes later, a nurse rushed inside, calling the doctor. But I was more concerned about Conor and Ivy.

“Is my colleague alright?” I asked, my throat completely dry.

The nurse wrote something down and stared at the patient monitor. “You had a very long operation, so we suggested he get some sleep in the room next to this one. He was crying the moment he got here. So did the girl.”

A knot formed in my stomach. “S-She’s sleeping as well?”

The nurse laughed and moved her gaze to my shocked face. “No, she didn’t close her eyes for one second. We will call them once the doctor sees you, Miss.”

I was relieved that they were here. I was no longer feeling lonely. But I was scared because they must’ve been sick worried for me. Especially Ivy.

When the doctor came, he told me in what condition I was. The bullet went through my muscle. I won’t be able to walk properly for a couple of months, but it’s not fatal. He said it was a miracle. And it truly felt like one.

I’d be staying in the hospital for a few weeks until I’m in stable condition.

I thanked the doctor for saving me, and he merely said it was his job to save people. He smiled and left the room. The nurse then called Conor.

“Miya.” Tears were falling down his cheeks.

I faintly smiled, taking a deep breath. “It’s great to see you crying for me,” I whispered.

He sat down on a chair beside the nightstand and grabbed my hand. Black circles were under his eyes.

“You have no idea how afraid I was.” He began, his voice trembling. “And not just me but the whole department and Ivy.”

I swallowed, trying my best to keep my eyes open. “I know, Conor. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want it to end up like this. I guess you will have a substitute for me for some time.” I tried to laugh.

He chuckled, wiping the tears with the back of his hand. “No one will replace you, Miya. I’ll be alone, waiting for you.”

A small tear escaped my eye. “Okay.”

• • •

Ivy didn’t show up that day. And I was devastated.

Conor told me she went home shortly after I woke up. He said she was in a rush and told Conor to call her when I woke up.

I wanted to call her to ask her why she would leave when I was finally awake. What was so important to not stay?

But I was barely awake as the medication kept me weary. My body was doing well. It was slowly healing. I was glad for that. I couldn’t imagine a life where I couldn’t walk or jog and do my job.

However, my heart ached.

The next day my coworkers showed up. They brought with them all kinds of treats, vegetables, fruit, and home-cooked food. They sat in a circle around my hospital bed for hours.

I was smiling and faintly laughing, but my mind was somewhere else. Conor said he called Ivy, but she didn’t pick up. I ordered him to go to my apartment to be sure she was okay, or if she even was there.

Then, several hours passed, and my coworkers were still with me. The door opened, and my eyes grew wide.

My mother and father walked through the door, and Ivy was right behind them. She looked even worse than Conor. For a moment, my heart stopped beating.

“Miya!” My mother exclaimed and ran to me, hugging me tight.

“W-When did you get here?” I stammered, still in shock.

“Yesterday evening. We were nearby, so we wanted to visit you, but when we called you, Ivy picked up the phone and told us what happened.” My father chimed in.

My eyes strayed to Ivy. She stood motionlessly in the middle of the room, her fingers tangled together, and her gaze focused on the floor.

I patted my mother’s shoulder and smiled at her when our eyes met. “Thank you all for coming. You have no idea how happy that makes me that so many people care about my well-being, but I need a few minutes alone with Ivy.” I announced.

All of them looked stunned. Even that was a weak word to compare it to, but they, after all, slowly exited the room. My father had to drag my mother out of the room; otherwise, she wouldn’t leave by herself.

When only the two of us remained in the room, I could feel the tension floating in the air. I hated it. Ivy was acting weird and distant. I had no clue why. She looked the same way as when we first met in the hospital after I saved her.

I cleared my throat and sat up more straight. “Come here,” I said.

At first, she didn’t move, but then as if she changed her mind, she closed the distance between us. She was within reach, but I kept my hands to myself.

“You looked tired.” I softly said, and ducked my head to look at her face that she was hiding. Her eyebrows were knitted together, her smile upside down, and her eyes empty as a shell.

I sighed and leaned closer to her, but she took a step back, and I frowned.

“Ivy, what’s wrong? Won’t you even hug me?” I asked.

She finally looked up at me, sadness written all over her face. “I thought you were about to leave me.” She began, her voice a mere whisper. “I thought I would never hear your voice again.”

I let out a ragged breath and beckoned her to me. “Don’t make me stand up, princess. It already hurts like hell.”

After a split second, she lunged at me, making me fall on the pillow. I wrapped my arms around her like my life depended on it, and I felt so safe. I felt alive again.

“I’d never leave you. I’m a lot stronger than a mere bullet.” I whispered into her ear, caressing her head.

She suddenly began to sob, her hot tears streaming down her face. “I-I couldn’t sleep or eat. I was so fucking afraid of the p-possibility of losing you.”

I clenched my arms tighter. “Shhh, don’t say such things. I would rather kill myself than leave you all alone. I’m here now in your arms. I’m alright, Ivy.”

She cried even harder, her tight grip almost suffocating me, but I didn’t mind it. On the contrary, I could be sure I wasn’t hallucinating, and I was truly awake.

I

scooped to the side and pulled Ivy closer to my chest. I traced my fingertips along her spine, and her breath slowly regulated. Yet, her heart still pulsed fast.

A knock on the door then startled us. The door opened, and my father came in. Ivy immediately drew away from me.

“No!” My father exclaimed. “You don’t have to do that, sweetheart. I know you two are together.”

We both glanced at each other in shock.

“Y-You do?” Ivy asked.

He nodded and walked over to my bed. He sat down on the chair and reached for my hand.

“Miya, I knew from the start your friend who is ‘divorced.’” He made an imaginary question mark with his fingers. “Is not exactly your friend. How could you possibly think I’d believe such a lie?” He chuckled, shaking his head.

I shrugged with a smile, and the door opened again. It was Conor with Lauren and all my coworkers behind him.

Ivy panicked and tried to quickly jump off the bed, but I snatched her wrist and held it in a firm grip.

“Miya…they will know.” She whisper-shouted.

I looked at her and nodded. Her eyes widened as she understood what I was implying by that.

When all my coworkers and lastly my mother came into the room, I was sure this was the right moment to finally admit my relationship with Ivy.

Why wait any longer and play this stupid hide-and-seek?

Of course, they didn’t understand what was happening. Ivy was basically glued to me, and it didn’t look friendly at all.

I cleared my throat. “Since we’re all here together, I decided to announce something very important to me.” I began. “Because I survived a bullet through my thigh, I think I should manage what I’m about to reveal to all of you.” My eyes locked with my mother’s and I saw the flick of worry in her eyes.

I intertwined my fingers with Ivy’s and tilted my chin upward. “Me and Ivy are not family or friends. We love each other. And I’d like if all of you had no problems with that. I think she’s in good hands with me.” I proclaimed.

Lauren applauded for me, and Conor smiled. It was that kind of smile that told me he was proud of me coming out with this secret, I couldn’t hold inside any longer.

“Nothing matters other than both of your happiness, Miya,” Hailey spoke first in a soft voice.

“Thank you,” I replied.

Then everyone else congratulated us, and I was happy they all approved of us. I was a bit scared of their reaction, but how could I doubt them? They are my friends.

However, my mother hasn’t said a word. She just stood there near the door with her arms folded. Her facial expression was unreadable.

I kindly asked everyone to let me talk to her alone, even my father. When it was just the two of us, I felt like a kid again. Afraid of what my mother would think of me now. A disappointment? Disgrace?

I couldn’t give her grandchildren. I wasn’t going to marry a rich doctor. A “total” nightmare.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell-” I began.

“I had my suspicions.” She cut me off and continued. “It happened on the day we went out for an ice cream, and a little girl your age about ten was sitting on a bench next to us. You began to talk to her and started to play with her hair. I thought maybe you just really liked her shiny brown hair, but some other occurrences happened even later on.”

She sighed and put her eyeglasses down. “I’m not mad at you, Miya. But it will take me a while to come to terms with it. Ivy seems like a nice girl, though.”

She patted my shoulder and kissed me on the cheek. Before I could utter a word, she vanished.

I didn’t want to hide from my mother. I was already an adult. It was my life, and my decision who would I date, but I sensed a pang in my heart from the look on her face before she left.

Father told me, he’d make sure my mother would accept my sexuality. He always had a way of pursuing her, that I couldn’t really grasp.

I just hoped that she’d one day accept me.

.

A few weeks later

My thigh was getting better at recovering; however, I’d go back to work in several months.

I could barely walk by myself. I needed constant help from crutches and Ivy’s hands. She helped me walk and change my pants. She has been the greatest human being, not daring to leave me at my worst. Her love for me only intensified.

Conor and Lauren had been visiting our apartment more often, bringing food or cakes. Even the relationship between Ivy and Conor progressed. They’re still not friends, but no longer enemies.

My father has been my support as well. He calls me frequently. Asking me how’s my thigh and how’s Ivy doing.

My mother, on the other hand, hasn’t called me or texted me much. I respect her decision, though.

Without a warning, I revealed such intimate news. Perhaps I should’ve approached it in a different way. More carefully, but time is sacred. I can’t be wasting it by masking what I truly am.

None of us should be living our lives as fake ones. Pretend that we are something; we are certainly not.

I like women and always will. I love Ivy, and I always will.

The truth is simple.

Despite all the problems that occurred to me, I’d never quit my job. Such professions as this are always dangerous. I knew the risks, and still, I wanted to be a police officer.

I can’t, however, be sad; I’d be a couple of months only lying on the couch or in my bed with Ivy.

We were snuggled up in bed together, watching Ivy’s favorite American show called Lucifer . She was in my arms as I rubbed my fingers at the back of her arm. She only wore an oversized T-shirt of mine and panties. I was sure she wanted to provoke me, but I was a cripple for a time. Trying to do sudden movements would send a shooting pain into my leg.

“You resemble Chloe a lot,” Ivy said, talking about the main character in the show.

“Oh, really? Does that mean I also fell in love with the Devil?” I raised a brow.

She touched her chin in a thoughtful way and nodded. “Yes, you did. And there’s no chance I’ll ever let you go.” She giggled.

“Hmm.” A smirk plastered on my face. I suddenly seized Ivy’s chin and tilted it slightly upward. “It’s the other way around, princess. I’m the older one. I’m the one who will never let you leave this house or escape me.” I said my voice low.

Ivy’s eyes grew wide. A hint of desire sparkling in them.

“I love when you’re rough with me.” She whispered in her soothing voice that I couldn’t resist.

I clutched her face in my fingers in a firm hold and brushed my lips against hers in a slow movement. Then I did it again but with the exchange of my tongue. Her lips tasted like vanilla.

She trembled and released a muffled moan through her slightly parted lips.

“I’ll turn into an animal if you don’t stop.” She warned.

I smiled against her lips. “Then I guess you have no other choice.”

I devoured her mouth, nibbling at her lower lip. My hand moved to her throat, and I gently squeezed it. I was confident to take control. I craved to overpower her.

She moaned, breathing a sharp breath into her lungs. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and before I knew it, she straddled my hips, careful not to sit on my wounded thigh.

“I’ll lick every spot on your body with my needy tongue. But I’ll take a great measure of time on your sweet cunt.” Ivy murmured.

“Oh God,” I whispered and crushed my mouth against hers again. A pool formed between my legs. If I could, I’d let her fuck me with her strap-on again.

Her tongue invaded my mouth, twisting around mine. She was like a fire, spreading and growing quickly.

Before she could take action, my hand sneaked between her legs, feeling her wetness through her panties. I slightly circled my fingers over her sensitive spot, and she whimpered.

She shoved her panties down her thighs and guided my hand to her clit. Her gaze connected with mine, and I watched her lips part. Soft breaths escape her mouth every time I stroke my fingers over her clit. She rocked her hips, fucking my fingers as if it wasn’t enough.

I lifted her T-shirt over her chest and sucked on her breast. Her head tilted heavenward, desperate sounds leaving her throat.

“Oh please, Miya. Bite me!” She yelled, and I made her wish my command. Her hard nipple was between my teeth. I flicked my tongue in a harsh way around it, enjoying every twitch of her body as she responded to my touch.

I didn’t need to push my fingers inside her for her to come. She was too aroused to last for longer, and so was I.

Ivy came as I sucked harder on her breast, my fingers circling her clit in a frantic motion.

As I was trying to steady my breath, she was already crawling backward to take off my pants.

Then my phone buzzed with a new message.

My shaky hands reached for my phone as Ivy shimmied my pants down, and then throwing them across the room.

I was so stunned as my eyes acknowledged the words in the message.

“My mother.” I began, and Ivy stopped moving. “She sent me a message with a recipe for one of my favorite Korean meals. She said I should give you the recipe.”

Ivy’s eyes grew wide, and then a smile appeared. “I think she’s beginning to like me.”

“I think so as well.” I laughed, overjoyed that my mother was slowly warming up to Ivy and to our relationship.

Ivy lunged herself between my legs, holding them wildly apart. “And now, let me eat my feast.” She murmured, and her smile turned wicked.

The End

⸻⸻

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WLW❘

Adopted by a Vampire - Completed

WLW❘ Fatal Attraction - Completed

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Saving Grace as an eBook!

Heyy, thank y’all for your comments and votes. I read everything!

I decided to put Saving Grace on Kindle. If you want to support me, I’d be forever grateful.

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