Introduction

“I don’t want to have him. I want to be him.”

Gunner

B
i
g

Top

B

ully

Dominant

High School Drop-out

Complete

walking disaster

Caspian

Small

Rich

Bottom

Victim

Submissive

College graduate

Organized and diligent

Which one is which when they swap bodies? … And do they even want to switch back?

Full Chapter

Chapter 1 - Caspian

“You can do this. You’re twenty-three, a grown man. You don’t care
anymore how others judge you,” Caspian told himself, staring at the newest
Instagram photo of a bodybuilder he followed. The bastard had two women
hanging off his flexed arms, as if he were a tree, and he’d surely eaten
Caspian’s daily calorie allowance for breakfast. Since everyone went lowcarb nowadays, his diet was likely based on nuts—one of the many
mundane things that could kill Caspian.
It seemed to come so easily to this guy, as if he actually enjoyed
several hours of exercise per day and never got bored of grilled chicken.
Perhaps Caspian was looking for excuses. Nobody had blocked his way into
the college gym, but the shame of revealing his frail arms and legs to
anyone there terrified him to the point where he never used their facilities
despite paying for the membership each year.
He’d tried calisthenics and workouts utilizing everyday objects, but
neither did anything for him, and after attempting a ‘healthy’ diet several
times, even the scent of protein powder gave him nausea. Still, those were
excuses.
So maybe he’d never grow taller than five-foot-three, but he could
most definitely gain muscle mass, and exceed the hundred and twelve

pounds he’d been stuck at since graduating from high school. If he was
lucky, maybe he’d escape the purgatory called undateable while he was at
it. Despite the dislike for his physique, Caspian could see he wasn’t ugly.
He did have a good enough face, with plump lips that could have been
considered sexy, and if he gained weight, his large blue eyes would make
him look attractive rather than childlike.
Tonight, he would stop holding himself back. He’d just obtained his
bachelor’s degree, chosen a specialization, and returned home to work at
Dad’s firm. And since he considered this the start of a new life, he was
determined to make a change. To no longer be the nerdy kid who tried to fit
in by means of self-deprecating humor. So he motivated himself with more
photos from the same Instagram account and stepped into the dark parking
lot, facing the sprawling gym across the street.
As soon as he spotted the bulky men in tank tops chatting in front of
the entrance, his instincts screamed for him to hide in the vehicle. They told
him that he could use his mom’s kettlebells for at-home weight training.
That he could eat two extra chicken breasts a day instead of putting himself
through this grinder.
But what he needed wasn’t a workout video on YouTube. Only real
engagement, advice, and the motivation of being watched during exercise
could change things. Maybe, just maybe, he’d even meet someone with
boyfriend potential, but that wasn’t his priority. No. This was Caspian
staking his claim. Battling for ground in uncharted territory. Molding
himself into the man he was meant to be.
Fortune favors the bold.
“Excuse me,” he mumbled once he stood behind the man blocking his
way into the gym.
Nothing.

“Excuse me,” he repeated to no avail. “Excuse me?” Caspian tuttutted in frustration and dared to tap the man in front of him on the arm.
The human tank turned his bald head in surprise. “Didn’t see you
there.”
“That’s okay.” Caspian lifted his eyebrows expectantly and glanced
from the guy’s square face to the door.
It was only then that the living mountain stepped away from his two
friends, creating a corridor for Caspian. Mumbling his thanks, Caspian
walked in, assaulted by the bright lights revealing every detail of his small
form. He always dressed in layers to create the illusion of more bulk on his
upper body, but the LEDs were merciless and surely cast shadows on his
narrow cheeks, making him look as if he were starving himself.
He didn’t like it here. Unlike the sleek gyms in the city where he
studied, this one seemed… unwashed, for lack of a better word. Like the
kind of guy who maintained the very basics of hygiene but sported oily hair
and wore the same clothes three days in a row. Ugly graffiti covered the
walls in the exercise space, and the floor had cracks no one had bothered to
repair. Worst of all, it smelled—of sweat, cheap male deodorant, and dust.
Hint of mold maybe? But what was he to expect of Grit, Ohio?
The woman at the reception desk gave him a wide smile, which was
more professional than he’d expected from this dump. But he still hated
having to interact with her in a place where men like the three at the
entrance passed through the door every single day. She might not see how
bony Caspian was through his clothes, but there was no hiding the fact that
she was taller than him.
Caspian endured a brief introduction, signed papers, paid, and
accepted a key before hiding in the locker room. Relief made him exhale
when he realized the small interior with light blue tiles on both the floor and

walls was empty, even if a bit grimy. At least the faint scent of disinfectant
promised he wouldn’t be getting athlete’s foot. Hopefully.
Farther down, a corridor led to another room, and the sounds of
splashing water and someone’s humming coming from there were Caspian’s
cue to hurry before the stranger finished his shower.
He took advantage of being alone and threw his duffel bag to the
bench. If he was quick enough, he could avoid meeting anyone here, and
get on with his training. He might have to discuss the use of weight
machines with a member of staff, but he’d worry about that later. One thing
at a time.
Working out wasn’t a competition. He would do his thing and ignore
the people who hadn’t let their bodies down, and who’d surely believe he
didn’t belong there. But he did, and the bill in his pocket was the proof. He
just wished his heart would stop rattling like a cow bell. The lockers
reminded him of high school, but he’d grown up since then. If not in size,
then in maturity, class, and determination.
He was no longer the short gay kid who used to be mercilessly bullied
by a bunch of teen degenerates. He could still recall their mean faces and
undeservedly strong arms. Tall like a bunch of trolls, sons of criminals,
bikers, and trailer trash, they considered themselves so much better than
Caspian just because he didn’t have their brute strength.
Even at university, he’d been christened pocket-rocket as if it was
somehow so cute that he was tiny but feisty. Because at his size, he wasn’t a
force to be reckoned with. No. He was feisty. Plucky. Spirited.
With silent fury burning his veins, Caspian squeezed the oversized Tshirt that still smelled of Mom’s fabric softener, but he didn’t get to change.
“The ladies’ locker room is on the other side,” a low male voice said,
and as Caspian froze, the sound of flip flops tapping against damp tiles

echoed in his head like a warning.
But while his throat tightened with shame and discomfort, he
reminded himself that he’d paid for time spent here, and therefore had every
right to be in the locker room, regardless of what some meathead thought.
“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna stare,” Caspian said and spun around,
losing his breath when he realized the half-naked man stood closer than
he’d thought. And that he wasn’t a random stranger.
It was Gunner Russo.
The object of Caspian’s hate, fear, and fascination all rolled into one
big, tattooed body.
But while the Gunner Russo from high school had been a relentless
shithead, much taller and stronger than Caspian, the Gunner Russo in front
of him was… well, even bigger. At least six-five and ripped as if being
dehydrated was his natural state, he had wide shoulders and biceps like
bread loaves. His upper body, tattooed with a cacophony of skulls and
predator animals, made Caspian’s fight or flight instinct ring.
His hair had been styled into a crew cut, which left nothing to obscure
Gunner’s features. And his face wasn’t one people could ignore. Not just
because it was enviably symmetrical and belonged on the cover of a sports
magazine with its striking dark eyes, and a big nose so unlike Caspian’s
button-sized one.
Caspian noticed all those because he remembered Gunner from high
school, but what would’ve stood out to a casual observer was the animal
skull tattooed over the left half of the ruggedly masculine face. He wasn’t
sure whether the outline of bones belonged to a wolf, bear, or some other
creature, because regardless of what predator it was, its very presence
would’ve made any normal person pause and consider Gunner’s sanity.

Still, in his most secret fantasies Caspian had always cast Gunner as
Ares in his personal Pantheon of male Greek gods. The man was that hot.
But Caspian didn’t want to fuck him. He’d have given his left arm to
be him.
“You’re already staring. You expect a show or something?” Gunner
growled and opened the towel, which had covered his crotch so far.
Caspian should’ve looked away. Not doing so would be suicide.
But he’d wanted to see Gunner Russo’s junk throughout high school,
so how was he to deny himself when it was so casually revealed to him?
Thick and long like half a baton of French bread, it hung between the broad
thighs along with a sac that was twice the size of Caspian’s. Gunner’s naked
body was hairy too, with a dense thatch of pubes and dark strands
peppering the skin in all the places where Caspian had only a soft dusting.
For all the anger and hate Caspian still harbored for Gunner’s endless
bullying in the past, he couldn’t deny that Gunner had grown into a damn
fine man who dwarfed him in every way. How different Caspian’s life
would have been if he were as tall as Gunner and as muscular as him?
Nobody would have bullied him if he had a body like that.
Gunner’s thick, dark eyebrows drew together just as the door behind
Caspian slammed against the lockers.
“Whoa!” a man laughed, sending a cold shiver down Caspian’s back.
“What? What’s going on?” Another asked as the door shut again.
Gunner looked over Caspian’s head, to the men who’d entered,
despite still holding his towel open. “Little gay boy wanted to have a look.
I’m a generous man, and he’s never gonna see another cock this big.”
Caspian had been out at his college, but now that he’d been trapped
by these three gorillas, whose bulks blocked all exits, his survival instinct
told him to deny everything he was. But before his mouth could have turned

the whole thing into a joke, anger rose inside him again, because he hadn’t
asked for any of this.
“If that’s how you see it. I’m here to work out, not ogle anyone.”
One of the newcomers, who had a pot belly pushing at the front of his
shirt, and dull skin that said a lot about his habits, gave a low chuckle that
took Caspian right back to middle school, when even the word sex had
made all the kids giggle as if they knew what fucking was about.
“Oh, Gunner, did you want him to see your schlong?”
It took Caspian a moment to recognize him, but the voice was
distinctive enough to identify him as Bud Dorset. Literally named after the
beer, as he’d boasted many times in high school, unaware that it made him
pathetic instead of cool to anyone with half a brain.
Gunner shrugged and rearranged the towel around his hips. “Show’s
over.”
The third guy, freckled, bald, and with a big red beard stepped right in
front of him like a ginger wolf about to play with its prey. He wasn’t as
massive as Gunner, but then again… few people were.
“Wait. Aren’t you… Casper, right? Like the ghost?”
Todd Brown. A bully even worse than Gunner. Back in high school
the fact that he was a year older than the rest of his hyena pack had made
him their informal leader, and it seemed he hadn’t turned into a decent
human being since.
Clenching his jaw, Caspian stuffed the T-shirt back into his backpack.
“I see you really want this space to yourselves. I won’t disturb you.”
“Wait. We’re not done here,” Todd said and pushed Caspian at the
locker so hard all of his survival instincts kicked in and… he froze, like a
rabbit facing three wolves with nowhere to run.

He was sixteen again, small and weak. Defenseless against a pack of
predators who didn’t care about his valuable skills, or the fact that lots of
people loved him. Civilization might have moved forward since the Stone
Age, but those troglodytes hadn’t gotten the memo.
Gunner laughed, leaning against the wall as if he were trying to lure
Caspian in, not intimidate him. “What are you even doing here, shrimp?”
Bud rested against the door, as if to make sure Caspian understood he
wasn’t going anywhere until they allowed it. “I don’t think it’s fair that you
got to see Gunner’s dick, but we didn’t see yours.”
Caspian’s head hurt where it had hit the locker, and he squeezed the
backpack to his chest, as if it could stop his heart from going frantic. “I
learned my lesson, all right? I’ll just go—”
He tried to take a step toward the door, but Bud and Todd grabbed his
arms and pushed him right back, as if they’d agreed on it telepathically.
He should have screamed then, called for assistance, but when he
tried to rip his arms out of their grip and found out their hands were like
shackles, his voice just wouldn’t come out, leaving him vulnerable to
whatever was to happen next.
Gunner groaned. “I really don’t need to see his dick. Just kick him
out.”
Todd faced him with a scowl. “Stop being such a fucking spoilsport.”
“Take off his pants, Gun. Let’s see what this faggot has to offer.” Bud
laughed.
“No—” Caspian tried, but his voice came out tiny, like the squeak of
a mouse. This was his nightmare come alive. The price he’d be paying for
wanting to better himself. Who had he been kidding? He didn’t belong here.
Unable to get away from the grip of sweaty hands, he shut his eyes
and waited, listening to the slow clap of Gunner’s flip flops. He couldn’t

think. Couldn’t breathe. He wished he could leave his body and not have to
go through this humiliation. But it was no use.
When big hands pulled on his pants and unceremoniously slid them
down to his thighs along with his underwear, the seconds of endless silence
were somehow even worse than the burst of laughter that followed. It meant
that while they hadn’t expected him to be big, they were stunned at just how
small his cock was.
Bud was the first to voice it. “My thumb is longer than that.”
Gunner backed off, and when Caspian dared to have a peek at the
room, desperate for a way out, he saw that his tormentor was glaring at his
crotch in silence. It was hard to say whether Gunner was about to kick
someone’s teeth out, or if this was his neutral expression.
Todd tut-tutted in mockery. “Dunno. About what I expected. Guess
his ass gets all the action anyway.”
Caspian shivered. He didn’t know whether it was out of fear, anger, or
disgust, but the cause didn’t matter either, because he could do nothing
against such brute strength. People like those guys deserved to die. They
did not belong in society. They should be fucking shot or shipped off to
some deserted island where they’d fight for dominance among themselves
without bothering decent people.
If only he had Gunner’s physique, he’d have broken all their noses
and teeth, but he was nothing like Gunner. Small, frail, and weak, with a
cock those gorillas felt nothing but contempt for, he was a sad excuse for a
male.
Angry and proud, but with no physical presence to back it up. A top
without the kind of tool his potential partner wanted.
“Get lost,” Todd said, hauling Caspian forward hard enough that he
smashed into Gunner with his pants still pooled at his ankles. The mountain

of muscle didn’t even budge, still damp from the shower and mocking him
with the size of his pecs.
Caspian croaked an unnecessary goodbye and shuffled forward,
stunned like a pig before slaughter. Heat ate him up as he continued toward
the exit because he was too afraid to bend over and pull up his bottoms with
those three watching.
A friend had once told him there was nothing to be afraid of. That
everyone did their own thing at the gym, and nobody would pay any mind
to the size of his body, but clearly that wasn’t the case. Not in Grit, Ohio,
where high school bullies never grew out of their shitty personas.
He was able to breathe again once he stepped between the two sets of
doors dividing the locker room from the reception area and only then pulled
up his pants.
He would never come back here.
Worse yet, he needed to leave town. He could never face Gunner,
Todd, or Bud again after this.
He went outside, struggling for air when his windpipe suddenly
became tighter, but he couldn’t break down in front of all the strangers
enjoying their favorite pastime. He didn’t want them to hold back laughter
and pat him on the back. He didn’t want to answer any questions or lie to
reassure them that nothing was wrong. And besides, the three brutes might
come out any moment and tell everyone what happened.
And then, he’d die.
Like a zombie on the lookout for fresh meat, Caspian staggered along
the building, far from the bright glow of the lamps. By the time he scooted
down and leaned against the rough wall that smelled of piss, his body was
warning him of impending doom, but this wasn’t the first time he’d been
close to a panic attack, so he tried to focus and breathed in.

Then out.
Breathed in.
Then out.
The rattle of metal startled him so much he opened his eyes wide and
instinctively held his arm up for protection.
But while he’d expected a punch, a long, warm tongue licked his
elbow instead, and a dog with an uncanny resemblance to a dingo stared at
him with its ears up.
The rattle had been made by a shopping cart pushed by an elderly
woman with a shock of pink hair tangled up on her head like a neon pretzel.
“Mad Madge,” Caspian said, naming the town’s most known
eccentric without thinking. When the horror of what he’d just done
occurred to him, he shot to his feet, the panic attack replaced by yet more
shame. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I thought you were…
someone else,” he finished, staring at the large, round blots of rouge
coloring her cheeks. They were dark enough to stand out against her skin
even in the dark.
“Oh, yes, my sister, she’s a right old wacko,” Madge laughed and
adjusted the glittery, heart-shaped glasses that were part of her unforgettable
look. She rattled her cart closer and presented Caspian with a jar. “Can you
help open it for me, sweetheart?”
That was it. The universe was mocking him.
But it wasn’t like he could refuse help to an older lady, whom he’d
called mad to her face. So he tightened his hands on the jar and tried to
twist off the lid. To no avail.
He really was a loser.
A sob left his lips, and he pulled the glass container to his chest,
unable to keep tears in once they started flowing. He gave up and sank to

his knees.
The dog barked, and when it stepped closer to lick Caspian’s face, he
didn’t fight it. He couldn’t believe what had happened to him at the gym,
and worst of all, that no matter how much he hated Gunner for what he’d
done, admiration remained so tightly entangled with the disgust he felt.
Caspian didn’t have a crush on the bastard. He didn’t want to fuck
him. He wanted to be him.
“Oh, honey… there’s no point crying over a jar of moonshine. Here,
maybe this one will be easier to open,” Madge said and struggled with
another container. She didn’t even bother to give it to him this time, surely
afraid he’d fail again.
The dog was licking Caspian’s hands now, its whining like a lullaby
to calm Caspian and stop him from embarrassing himself further.
“There. Have a sip. It’ll do you some good,” Madge said and handed
him the open jar. The smell of the liquid inside made it obvious that this
was homemade booze, produced with no certification whatsoever, but
Caspian let it burn his throat as he imagined a life in Gunner Russo’s body.
He’d be strong.
He’d be fuckable.
He’d get to decide his own fate.
Gunner had no idea how lucky he’d been to be born in that skin.

Chapter 2 - Caspian
Caspian’s back clicked as he rolled under the covers, trying to amend
the discomfort caused by the uneven mattress. The pull in his spine made
him settle in a horizontal position, but between sunlight shining straight into
his face and his butt sinking deep into the bed, the need to sleep soon
became irrelevant.
He grunted with displeasure and threw his arms to the sides, scowling
when he realized that the bedding was made with some kind of satin.
Had he hooked up with someone?
Impossible. That wasn’t his thing. He wouldn’t have bothered going
to someone’s place for a blowjob, and as much as he wanted to try anal, he
would have liked to at least remember doing it for the first time. Had he
really drank that much last night? He vaguely remembered getting back
home, so why was he… here? And where was here anyway?
He sat up, alerted by a loud meow.
“Get up, Gun!” a female voice hollered as Caspian took in his
surroundings, from the satin sheets sliding against his skin, to the sharp
smell of bleach coming from not far away.
He was sitting in a small double bed by a curtained window of what
had to be a trailer. There was only so much space beyond the reach of the

mattress, and he froze, realizing that whoever he ended up in bed with had a
woman living with him. Shit.
He looked around the pale walls and built-in cupboards covered with
pictures of cars and chiseled, sweaty men staring at Caspian from behind
boxing gloves. But as he moved to the narrow space at the foot of the bed,
frantically searching for his clothes, the door opened, and a woman stepped
in, folding her arms under a pair of large breasts that were about to pop out
of her orange tube top.
She wore tiny denim shorts with white pockets sticking out at the
front of her thighs like twin flags, and jewelry in a bright shade of gold that
contrasted with the duskiness of her tan.
But just as Caspian stilled, readying himself for an onslaught of
questions and fists, the woman offered him a bright smile and applied some
lip balm to her plump mouth before dropping her pert behind in his lap.
“Good morning, McDreamy. Where did you hide your wallet?”
Caspian froze, raising his arms to avoid touching her by accident.
“I… what?” He unexpectedly hit the wall, as if the space was closing in on
him. How small was this place for him to feel like it was a trailer for dolls?
He stalled with his lips parted, staring up at the arms that both were and
weren’t his.
Thick. Inked. Tanned and covered with dark hair. He wiggled the
tattooed knuckles for good measure, and even though the hand was most
definitely not his, it moved as expected.
“Your wallet, big man. I need to get some food for Fluffer and do
some other shopping too.” The woman smiled, and when she leaned in,
Caspian could smell her fresh, minty breath. He froze when her breast, so
big for her tiny frame, pressed against his shoulder, in a bid to distract him

and make him do what she wanted. She hadn’t taken into account that he
might not have the slightest interest in what she offered.
Caspian’s brain pulsed with unease when he looked down at thick,
hairy thighs that weren’t even close to his own slim legs. He needed a
moment. He needed air and space. And maybe some water, because he’d
clearly taken or eaten something he shouldn’t have.
“I’m not giving you anything. I just woke up, and I need time. Okay?”
She frowned at him as if that was the last thing she expected to hear.
“Rude! You can try sucking your own dick then.” She rubbed her ass
against his crotch for emphasis before jumping off his lap.
“I’ll just find someone who doesn’t want my money for it,” Caspian
snapped and shot up, dropping when his head smashed into the ceiling.
She frowned and reached up to pat his pec.
Reached up. For his pec.
“Um, honey pie? You sure you’re okay? I know you can be a grump
when you’re hungry…”
Something was wrong about his size perception. The trailer was either
tiny, or he had become a giant.
“Honey? What? I don’t know you. Is this some kind of scam?
Because if it is, it’s not working,” Caspian said, gently pushing her aside as
he lowered his head to avoid hitting his forehead against the doorframe.
Even out of the room, his head brushed the ceiling unless he hunched over,
making his neck cry out with discomfort.
“Oh, my God, Gun! You’re using again! I thought you said you never
touched smack after getting your face tattooed.” She took a deep breath and
stepped back, rubbing away an imaginary tear. “I can’t deal with you when
you’re like this. I’ll be back later. Feed Fluffer.”
“Fluffer?”

But she pushed past him and ran down a corridor that was almost too
narrow even for her, toward a larger space at the end. Assaulted by sunlight
streaming through a small window to his side, Caspian followed her past an
open bathroom, which reeked of sewage and fruity deodorant, but before he
could have reached the woman’s side, she grabbed a pink handbag, glared
at him, and let herself out.
“I expect you to be sober when I come back!”
He took a deep breath but gave up on arguing with her when he faced
a kitchen area cluttered with dirty dishes, boxes, and multipacks of canned
food. Beyond the counter that divided the kitchen from the living area was a
stretch of old dark red carpeting and at the very end—a booth of sorts, with
a gray sofa wrapped around a table, and a recliner that faced a TV hanging
below the ceiling.
He’d never been this confused in his life. Not even when he’d had a
concussion back in high school. He ran his large fingers over a photo stuck
to the fridge with sellotape. It featured none other than Gunner Russo
standing next to the woman who had just harassed him. In the picture,
Gunner embraced her with one arm and showed off knuckles tattooed with
a random assortment of letters that looked suspiciously like the ink on
Caspian’s hands.
Could… was it possible that—?
He spun around and faced Gunner. With eyes still puffy from sleep,
scruffy cheeks, and short, messy hair, he wasn’t nearly as threatening as
he’d been the night before, but Caspian stepped back nevertheless, hitting
the counter at the same moment as Gunner. Two mouths opened, but only
one made a sound.
Caspian was facing a mirror, and the low, husky voice he’d spoken
with to the woman was not his own.

His heart beat faster, its echo drumming in his ears, but he wouldn’t
blink, too shocked by what he was seeing. He ran his fingers over the ink
covering half his face in an outline of a toothy animal skull. Was he to
believe that his consciousness had somehow taken over the body of Gunner
Russo overnight? Just like that? What kind of fucked-up dream was this?
No wonder everything around him was small when he was a six-foot-five
giant with arms like branches of an old oak and legs like tree trunks. Even
his hands were massive, as were his feet—
Caspian pulled on the waistband of his boxers, and yep, his cock was
a beast to be reckoned with too. Long. Thick. Powerful.
A flush climbed up his neck by the time he looked up again, facing
the handsome brute who’d turned his time at school into a nightmare and
had humiliated him last night. Oh, how easy his life would have been if this
weren’t only some strange dream that felt deceptively real. With a body like
this, he could achieve anything.
He exhaled and faced the kitchen when his stomach grumbled,
twisting with unfamiliar intensity. If this was a lucid dream, could he
imagine a cute twink sitting on the counter and fuck him with the massive
tool that was temporarily his?
Caspian lowered the boxer shorts, exhaling as the fat dong twitched,
getting harder when he imagined his favorite singer sprawled in front of
him and already pushing down his skinny jeans with a flush on his angular
face.
Caspian exhaled and touched the table to make room on it, but
something dark dashed from behind a plate at speed and sent him crashing
back into cupboards.
“Was that a fucking cockroach?” he uttered, as if there was anyone
here to answer that question.

Another, and then its whole family, rushed across the floor next.
Caspian let out a squeal and jumped onto the sofa with his dick swinging
between his legs. It might not have been dignified, but he didn’t care, since
no one was watching.
Something sharp hid between the cushions, and he stepped right
fucking on it! A short examination revealed that it was the lid of a can, not a
used needle, so he exhaled with relief and bent down, pulling his shorts
back up. At least the dining table was clean, or rather cleared, because the
dark circular stains left on the white surface weren’t going anywhere. He
rested his forehead against it, trying to breathe.
This wasn’t right. He didn’t know what day it was, or how he’d gotten
here. Gray sweatpants rested on the sofa next to him, and he put them on
after shaking them over the floor, to make sure no bugs hid between the
folds of fabric.
Maybe he’d consumed some hallucinogenic drugs by accident?
The dark form of a smartphone resting next to a butt-shaped dip in the
seat drew him in, and he picked it up, swiping his thumb across the cracked
screen. The phone asked for his PIN, so he entered it, but the damn thing
claimed it was incorrect.
Of course. Because it wasn’t his phone. His was a brand new iPhone
in a wooden case while the piece of junk in his hand didn’t even have a logo
anywhere.
Caspian’s stomach growled, distracting him from the task at hand, and
all of a sudden, he was not only still horny, but also ravenous.
His gaze swiped across the messy kitchen counter, but while there
were no roaches in sight, he was barefoot. What if he stepped on one, and it
wiggled under his sole? Or worse yet, what if its exoskeleton broke under

his weight, and he’d end up covered with not only its juices, but also the
eggs it carried?
Revulsion shook Caspian’s entire body, but his stomach twisted again,
and his brain buzzed with annoyance as he caught sight of an open
cupboard and the bread stashed inside.
He hated white bread and its bland cotton-like flavor, but in this
moment he’d gladly drench all the slices within sight with bacon grease,
and then douse his thirst with a protein shake.
A ball of white fluff leapt between the crumpled paper bags on the
counter and opened its flat face in a wild meow.
It seemed Fluffer hated roaches as much as Caspian and—
Caspian scowled. Who named their cat after sex workers preparing
porn actors for a scene? Had names like Fluffy or Snowflake been taken?
The cat meowed again, then got down to the floor and circled its
empty bowl before releasing a brutal sneeze that sprayed snot over the steel
trash can next to his food. Caspian stilled, wondering where he could find
some tissues, because yet more of the clear goo glistened under the pet’s
nose.
“I’m hungry too. I’ll be with you in a sec,” Caspian said. His voice
was… sexy. He could work as a fucking sex phone operator with a voice
this raspy and low, so unlike the sounds his own body produced.
But before he could have devised a strategy of protecting himself
from roaches, someone banged on the door, making him still. Maybe the
girl was back in an even more revealing outfit? Caspian was fine giving her
Russo’s money as long as she agreed to make him some food.
After a brief scan of the floor, he found it bug-free and strode to the
door held shut by the kind of flimsy lock a petty criminal could have
opened with a credit card.

A bit of plywood fell to the floor as he tugged on the handle, but it
wasn’t his shitty trailer, so he ignored it and stuck his head out into the sun.
The air smelled of eggs, bacon, and gasoline, but as he set his bare
feet in the sparse grass outside, a large silhouette in a brown suit caught his
eye. A man in his early fifties, with a pot belly stretching the front of his
striped shirt, stepped closer, combing back his graying hair over and over,
as if he couldn’t get a leaf out of the short strands.
“Russo! How are you this fine morning?” the stranger asked, pulling
close a folder, which crooked his tie to one side. The pale stubble peppered
over the man’s cheeks made the pinkness of his skin appear brighter, and
his eyes wouldn’t stop darting around, as if he’d drank several cups of
coffee since he’d rolled out of bed.
“Good morning,” Caspian said, unsure how he should act. This
stranger had come here for a reason, but his appearance revealed few clues
as to his identity. The man straightened up, as if surprised by Caspian’s
mundane answer.
“I’m happy to hear that. Let’s make this quick then.” He smiled and
held out his hand.
Caspian squeezed it in greeting, but it earned him a frown.
“Russo. Stop fucking with me. I don’t have time for this. Give me the
money, and I’ll be out of your hair. Surely, you don’t want any trouble.”
Money?
Was this scruffy guy some kind of debt-collector?
Caspian’s stomach rumbled. “Oh… was it today? I must have
confused the dates. I’m sorry,” he said, because at this point he didn’t know
where Gunner’s wallet was, and if he lived with a money sponge like that
girlfriend of Gunner’s, he’d have hidden a large sum where she wouldn’t
find it. Even a meathead would have taken precautions against robbery.

“Seriously? You think that kind of shit will fly?” The man shook his
head. “It’s five hundred tomorrow, or we’ll be looking at higher interest
rates,” he said as if he were a hedge fund manager, not some lowlife in an
ill-fitting polyester suit. “And with the amount you owe us, Russo, you
don’t wanna go there.”
The hell?
Then again, it wasn’t his problem what kind of trouble Gunner’s
stupidity had gotten him into. Gambling? Drugs? None of Caspian’s
business. Though the scent of cigarettes wafting from the debt collector did
make his lip twitch with an urge he’d never felt before. Almost as if he…
wanted to fill his lungs with calmingly warm smoke. But he would not do
that, because it was a disgusting habit!
“Sorry. Should I expect you tomorrow circa nine?”
The man nodded, the frown on his face deepening. “Yeah. ‘Circa’
nine, Russo.” He walked off, shaking his head.
A loud bark made Caspian glance over the shoulder, and only then did
he realize Gunner’s unsightly home was at the very edge of the vast trailer
park, because the mesh fence and trees were just behind the nearest mobile
home.
An orange dog sat in the middle of a cluttered lawn, between a pink
flamingo that had long lost its bright color, and a garden gnome that missed
half of its hat. When Caspian looked beyond the animal’s curious ears, he
saw no one other than Mad Madge sitting on the steps to the old trailer with
a mug of coffee between her bony fingers.
“Hey there, honey!” She waved at him and smiled. “Will your brother
walk Dingo for me tomorrow?”
“My brother?” Caspian asked before he could have bitten his tongue.
Mad Madge wore a lush pink dress, and purple leggings paired with denim

trainers. She didn’t pick up on Caspian’s blunder and exhaled, taking
another sip of her warm beverage.
“Dingo really likes Noah. And I think walking the dog does him a lot
of good too. Way more important than rehabilitation, if you ask me.”
It seemed both brothers were bad eggs then.
“Sure… yes, I think he will,” Caspian said, retreating to his trailer,
but he didn’t get to dive into the dingy old box. A strong hand fell on his
shoulder and squeezed.
Caspian was out of patience at this point, but when he realized it was
Todd Brown, he yelped in a pitch so high the menace actually stepped back
with his eyebrows raised high.
“What’s up with you, Gun? Did the Snowman scare you?” he asked,
looking back at another man, whom Caspian also recognized as a member
of Gunner’s high school gang. Todd’s younger brother, Ralph, had fiery hair
and a long scar along the whole of his grim face, but he’d doubled in size
since teenagehood, and his chest muscles and biceps threatened to rip open
the flimsy T-shirt he wore.
Caspian stepped back, his stomach twisting as if Todd had stuffed his
big hand through his navel and pulled at his guts. The horrible moment
from last night came back, crashing into Caspian like a bottle smashed on
the side of his head. He could feel hands holding him in place as his pants
were yanked down. And then, silence. Mocking laughter.
Maybe this lucid dream was his chance to get back at them? In
Gunner’s body, he was taller than either of these bastards and just as big—
no longer a tiny twerp, helpless at their feet, but a man who could smash his
fist into Todd Brown’s face so hard the creep could never again claim to be
the ginger Casanova.

As he simmered in his fury, Ralph cocked his head, drawing more of
Caspian’s attention to the hairs growing between his thick eyebrows. “I
texted you, Gunner. Did you get my message?”
Caspian took his phone out and put in the PIN number—the PIN
number! It wasn’t stored in his memory, but his fingers knew it, and the
cracked screen revealed the picture of a boxing champion set as the desktop
image. And over it, alongside information about a new message was today’s
date. Only one day had passed since Caspian’s unfortunate gym visit.
“I haven’t read it yet. My girl kept me busy all morning,” he
improvised, and the lie made both brothers grin.
“Fair enough. Just don’t be like him and get tied down with three
screaming brats,” Todd said, and Ralph slapped him on the head.
“The meathead’s just jealous my Trinny is fertile like a well-plowed
field.”
No.
Jesus Christ.
Caspian laughed with the two men, wondering what indecent
comment he was expected to make.
You just make sure your plow is the only one digging into that fertile
ground?
No. That didn’t seem like the right thing to say at all. So he opened
the message instead while the two brothers teased one another.
[We comin to talk about the THING] was all the text said, and Caspian
couldn’t help but feel the message not only didn’t bring anything to the
table, but was redundant altogether.
“So… the thing?” he urged when the brothers stopped bickering for a
second.

Todd’s face got more serious, and he nodded. “We move the drugs
tomorrow. I know you need the money, so be there.”
No more cryptology then.
Sweat beaded on Caspian’s neck. “Oh. And the drugs are so heavy
that I’m required…?”
Ralph regarded him with a scowl, but Todd laughed out loud.
“Always the joker, eh?” he said. “Dumbass. We need more muscle,
just in case.”
In case… what? But Caspian kept the confusion to himself this time.
His gaze wandered to the cracked screen again, then to the bulge at the front
of his pants, to the strong, tattooed abs, and as Todd muttered something in
his low, rumbly voice, the words Bud had said to the real Caspian last night
came right back.
My thumb’s longer than his dick!
Caspian’s head pulsed, and his hand trembled around the smartphone.
The things he could do with Gunner’s body and the right app… Nobody
would ever dare mock Gunner Russo’s size. And nobody would ever
complain about the length of his dick.
But no matter how much his knuckles itched, he nodded, unwilling to
get hurt over nothing when he could be downloading Grindr. “I’ll be there,”
he said to end this worthless conversation. “See you later, gotta go to
work.”
Ralph blinked several times. “You got a job?”
Of course scum like Russo would be unemployed.
“Something like that,” Caspian mumbled and rushed back to the
trailer with his finger tapping the screen every now and then so he wouldn’t
have to guess the PIN again.

But as he shut the door behind him and opened the app store, a new
thought appeared in his mind, inflating to a point where both hunger and
lust diminished.
If he was in Gunner Russo’s body, then where was Gunner?

Chapter 3 - Gunner
Gunner couldn’t remember ever sleeping this soundly. Instead of the
tap of cockroach legs marching over packets of chips, he could hear birds
tweeting outside, and Sandy must have done the laundry for once, because
the fresh scent of cotton lulled him into keeping his eyes shut for a bit
longer.
He was also alone. Sandy didn’t bother him. Fluffer wasn’t meowing
for food. No one knocked at his door. He actually enjoyed the furball
cuddling up to him in the morning, but it was nice to just enjoy a bit of
peace. The one thing that could make this morning better would be the
sound of a piano, but he didn’t feel like getting up to attach earbuds to his
phone. He stretched and was surprised when neither his knuckles nor toes
reached the walls.
But what made him open his eyes was the scent of pancakes coming
from somewhere farther away, because it could only mean Sandy had done
something so terrible it warranted a cooked breakfast to appease him. What
was it this time? Had she stolen his credit card and maxed it out? Gunner
was already knee-deep in shit, since he’d only managed to gather half the
money he owed Snowman this week. His nerves became tight strings, and
he sat up, ready to face another shitty day.

Instead of the formerly-white cupboards at the footboard of his bed,
he saw flat concrete blocks attached to the opposite wall and windows
hidden behind long black curtains reaching all the way from the ceiling to
the floor.
It was bright enough outside that the light peeking in around the dense
fabric revealed a large television hung across from the bed, with display
cabinets on one side and shelves full of DVDs on the other. Under the
screen was a modern-looking media unit boasting at least two game
consoles along with some more tech. As Gunner took in the room larger
than his entire trailer, he noticed a fitted wardrobe taking up the entirety of
the side wall, and above the wooden headboard—a massive painting
depicting a sports car racing on a white background.
Where the hell was he, and who had he cheated on Sandy with last
night?
He rolled out of bed, already dreading that he might bump into the
woman’s husband or boyfriend, but the longer he took in the interior, the
more confused he got. Nothing about the space could be considered even
remotely feminine.
The lump in Gunner’s throat obstructed his airways when he
considered that he might have gotten drunk enough to drive to another town
and somehow hook up with a man.
And didn’t remember it.
He opened the curtains in an effort to get in more light and make the
search for last night’s clothes a bit easier, but he froze when his gaze fell on
the long, slim fingers of his hand.
His tattoos were gone, and the dense dark hair covering his forearms
had been replaced by a sparse dusting, barely visible on pale, smooth skin.
A garden extended beyond the window with a green lawn while across the

street, a house straight out of affluent suburbia blinded him with its white
walls and shiny golden gate
But his whereabouts no longer mattered, even though the wooden
floor felt so clean and pleasant under his bare feet.
Struggling to find breath and increasingly agitated, he pressed his
palms to his face to find it without a hint of stubble. His lips were narrow
yet soft and plump. His small nose had a cute upturned tip. Even his hair
was the wrong length and would have been so easy to grab, unlike the short
crop he sported.
Something was wrong.
Terribly wrong.
He ran over to the wardrobe because that would be the logical place
to keep a mirror. He swung open its door and—
Gunner screamed, because no other course of action would do at the
sight in front of him. Caspian Brady stared back at him from the mirror,
dressed in a gray pajama set worthy of a middle-aged man, and with his
mid-length brown hair still messy from sleep. He was the perfect little
twink, with smooth limbs and big blue eyes that shone like the Swarovski
crystal pendant Gunner had gotten Sandy for Christmas when things had
still worked between them. Breathless, Gunner leaned in, enchanted by the
smooth texture of the skin on Caspian’s cheeks, which made him look way
under his real age of twenty-three.
Did Caspian have to shave in order to achieve this boyish radiance,
with rosy lips opening above a chin that had the faintest dip in the middle?
When Gunner tested a smile, his fake grin turned real at the sight of
adorable dimples. Whatever this messed-up dream was, he wasn’t in a hurry
to wake up, so he stood still, captivated by his reflection.

As one of the smallest guys Gunner had ever met since his teens,
Caspian was a source of fascination, and even though Gunner hated himself
a little for what he’d gone along with at the gym, he’d have lied if he
claimed he hadn’t been a little bit curious of the dick that went with the
smooth twinky body.
With the stupidly cute grin still on his face, Gunner pushed down the
pajama pants and bit his lip when he revealed the lovely pink cock he’d
now get to ogle at his leisure. He was getting horny just thinking about
being the one inside this body. Even Caspian’s—his balls were fuzzy like
two tiny peaches.
He turned around to get a peek at his buttocks, and his ears went
aflame when he pondered whether the rumors about Caspian were true. Did
he really fuck around with men? Did he let them use this pert, hairless ass?
Gunner pulled on one of the butt cheeks, and his brain stalled at all the
things he could do in Caspian’s life. No one would expect him to make
tough decisions, fight for dominance, or always make the first move. He
was the prey. The temptation. A single wink of his jewel-like eyes would
send guys into a frenzy and make them dream of pinning him down with
their cocks.
A hot shiver shot up his spine, and his prick twitched as a ghost of hot
breath made the baby hair at the back of his neck rise.
A sharp knock on the door froze him to the floor. He frantically
adjusted his pajama pants, but with the cock already up and interested in
Gunner’s secret fantasies, he made a dash for the bed and rolled into it to
cover his crotch with the checkered comforter in the most boring navy
shade of all.
“Yes?”

Oh, even his voice was perfect. Smooth and sweet like the expensive
milk chocolate he’d once gotten for his birthday from Mr. and Mrs. Wagner.
But he didn’t get to focus on how it sounded, because the door
opened, revealing a short man with graying hair cut in a tidy style. He wore
slacks and a dress shirt, with the tie tucked between the buttons at the front,
and as Gunner looked on, the resemblance between Caspian and the
stranger was impossible to overlook.
“Morning, son! Your mother wants you at the breakfast table, so get
up pronto,” Caspian’s father said with a wide smile that revealed that he
also had dimples. He tapped both his hands against the doorframe, as if
suggesting that he wasn’t moving without his son.
Gunner shifted under the covers, relieved that his boner was going
down. “Oh-okay… I’ll be right with you,” he mumbled.
“It’s not like you to sleep in like this. But I guess last night was out of
the ordinary. Right?” The man raised his eyebrows expectantly, prompting
Gunner to nod.
He had no idea what the fuck he’d done last night—or had it been
Caspian?—to end up here, but it must have been ‘out of the ordinary’ for
sure.
“Don’t be long. Pancakes will cure your hangover.”
Gunner watched Caspian’s father disappear behind the door and then
sat up in stunned silence. He was piecing together that Caspian must have
come home drunk. His father knew of it, but hadn’t yelled at him. And
Caspian’s mother was making him pancakes, because they presumed he
wasn’t feeling too fresh.
No wonder Caspian was such an entitled little prick when he’d grown
up with two loving parents, abundant food, money, and a TV larger than

Gunner’s bedroom window. All this was so very unlike the childhood filled
with yelling and violence Gunner had endured.
Whether this was a dream or not, Gunner would be taking advantage
of it for as long as it lasted. He would have started off by finding out how
much spunk that cute dick produced if it wasn’t for the fact that Dad might
come back if he didn’t hurry.
He got out of bed, found black slippers that fit Caspian’s small feet
perfectly, and peeked into a hallway that intimidated him with its elegance.
Stretching endlessly from the window by Caspian’s door, it belonged in one
of the grand, old-fashioned houses featured in every meet-the-parents
movie. The wooden floor had no scratches in sight, and fresh flowers in a
vase on a side table perfumed the air.
As he made himself move along the two rows of doors, his gaze
locked on picture frames hung on the way to the staircase. Some featured
larger family gatherings, but most were only of Caspian, his dad, and a
plump blonde woman, who was surely Caspian’s mother. Images from a
happy childhood flashed in front of Gunner’s eyes like stills from a cartoon
that didn’t reflect his own reality.
Caspian and his parents sitting by the Christmas tree in matching
pajamas and surrounded by piles of gifts. On a trip to Disney World.
Making s’mores by a campfire. A graduation photo with proud Mom and
Dad.
Gunner didn’t get to finish high school, but now that he looked at
Caspian’s adorable pout he almost wished he’d been there just to watch
Caspian receive his diploma.
“Caspian! Come on! We’re leaving for work soon!” A female voice
resounded from below, so he peeled his gaze away from the life he could

never dream of having, and padded down the stairs that were wider than his
bathroom.
The stairs spat him out into a large hallway featuring a massive mirror
in a wooden frame carved into a complex tangle of fruit and leaves, but the
scent of pancakes drew him straight to the kitchen, which looked
suspiciously similar to the one in a suburban villa he’d broke into with the
guys two months prior.
“Good morning, mother,” he said, but when her brows rose, he
figured this wasn’t the way Caspian would address her. “I mean, Mom.”
Maybe silence was the key until he got his bearings.
Three pendant lamps hung above a massive kitchen island with
shelves full of cookbooks on one end and a row of four bar stools standing
along the outer edge. The dominant color of the cupboards was a pristine
shade of white, but the warm hue of the wooden floor, and the little herb
garden set up on shelves by the window made it cozy despite the restaurantsized cooker and an equally large hood above.
“Go on now, sit. I made you coffee,” Caspian’s mom said, adjusting
the pink apron that protected her neat blue dress as she flipped one of the
pancakes with a spatula. Even while cooking, she was the epitome of
understated elegance with makeup that was barely visible and hair styled
into a roll at the back of her head. She couldn’t have looked more different
from the women in Gunner’s life.
After a moment of hesitation, he took the seat next to his new father,
still dazed by the unfamiliarity of it all. This strange morning had to be part
of some odd dream, even if it didn’t feel like one, but he could go with it.
Especially since fresh pancakes were on the menu.
Several bowls of toppings to choose from stood in front of them next
to chocolate, caramel, and strawberry syrups. And it wasn’t cheap shit

either. Each product had the kind of classy branding that would have told
Gunner he couldn’t afford it without the need to check the price.
“Must have been a rowdy party with your friends last night,” Fake
Mom said and even winked at him as if they were in on the same joke.
“Don’t make that face. I work in event planning, honey. I see things.”
Gunner stared at the selection of fruit, sprinkles and sauces he could
add to the pancake Fake Mom put on his plate, and wondered if this was
how Caspian ate each day. Since for some inexplicable reason Gunner got
to experience this breakfast, he’d enjoy himself and forget that cereal or
sandwiches purchased at the gas station were his usual morning fare.
He topped the pancake with bananas, chocolate chips, and strawberry
jam with huge chunks of fruit, then finished his edible artwork with a
dollop of whipped cream and caramel before digging in.
Fake Dad laughed. “Someone’s got an appetite for once.”
Gunner stalled with his mouth full. This couldn’t be how they worked
out he was an impostor, could it? But Fake Dad went on.
“We’re happy to have you back, and I’m sure it will take you a few
days to settle in, but consider looking at the courses we talked about.
They’re the sensible next step now that you have your degree, and you’ll be
able to do them while gaining experience at the firm.”
Oh, so this wasn’t a normal breakfast after all.
Gunner swallowed and was more careful with the next bit he cut,
because Caspian surely didn’t gorge on food like a pig. “I’d have to
consider how much they cost first,” he uttered, but Fake Mom gave a little
chuckle and dug into a pancake of her own on the other side of the counter.
“Nonsense, honey. You know we’ll help you. You need to keep
studying if you want to be successful in the future.”

Which in this case clearly meant they’d pay for the course. Caspian
had been born into a golden cradle! The proposition was overwhelming,
and while this wasn’t his life, and those nice people weren’t his parents, he
offered them a smile and continued eating dainty pieces of the dessertbreakfast as his mind entertained what his life could have been if he hadn’t
been born to Leo Russo of the Rabid Hogs MC and a woman who
disappeared from their lives so early Gunner had no recollection of her.
“Of course. I met some of my high school friends at the gym, but
today might be the day to read up on the courses.” He had no idea what
degree Caspian had, but there would be clues to find in his bedroom.
Fake Mom groaned, taking off her apron. “Why would you waste
time going to that dirty place when we have machines at home?”
“Or is there some high school sweetheart you left behind, hm?” Fake
Dad tapped Gunner with his elbow. “We wouldn’t be offended if you
brought her here. You’re an adult now. Just make sure you give us notice
—”
Fake Mom shook her head. “Only if it’s serious.”
Gunner felt the food rise in his throat from a surge of anxiety. Oh. So
Caspian wasn’t out. Come to think of it, Caspian might be straight. Nobody
had seen him with a guy, and all the rumors started because he was so
small, pretty, and quiet. Gunner’s dirty mind did the rest, creating a guy
who might have very little in common with the real Caspian Brady.
“N-no, there’s no girl,” he muttered, realizing in frustration that after
eating only three pancakes he was so full even the caramel sauce had lost its
appeal.
“Better to wait than date the first girl that comes along,” Fake Mom
said and reached across the counter to pat Gunner’s cheek. Maybe he
should’ve been offended by the gesture, but it felt nice to be in someone’s

care for once, so he smiled back at her and put down his cutlery, so very
sated he feared walking might be an issue.
“There’s a perfect person for everyone,” Fake Dad said and gave his
wife a kiss on the cheek.
Gunner rarely met couples who actually got along, and his disastrous
on-off relationship with Sandy was just the tip of the iceberg. He hadn’t
noticed when she’d moved in, and didn’t know how to get rid of her,
because when he got drunk enough, her blowjobs did take the edge off. She
was a glimpse of possibility that he might be bisexual not gay.
Caspian’s family would probably accept him as a gay man, even if it
created a bump in their dynamic. Could Gunner hijack this life and start
over? His existence would have been as full of joy as his plate had been of
carbs.
Fake Dad walked out first, but Fake Mom wasn’t far behind and
grabbed a pair of nude high heels on the way. “Remember to get your car
washed, and practice the piano. Usus est magister optimus.”
Gunner nodded slowly, even though he had no idea what language
she’d just used, let alone what the expression meant.
“Have a good day, Cas. Put the dishes into the washer, will you?”
Fake Dad asked, and moments later Gunner was alone in the huge, beautiful
house, staring at a stack of pancakes this new body couldn’t fit in.
The silence was disturbed by a bird trilling outside, but it was oh-soquiet otherwise. No children shouting. No arguments. The cooking
enthusiast from the trailer on the left of his wasn’t here to disturb his peace
with her hand mixer, and Mad Madge wasn’t playing her TV too loudly.
Even the constant whizz of the highway was gone.
For once, Gunner was alone with his thoughts.

He knew it would have been best to clean up first, but his stomach
might rumble in an hour, so he left everything on the counter, picked up the
cooling mug of coffee and headed to the closed door on the side of the
kitchen.
It led to a smaller living room decorated in cozy shades of red and
furniture in dark mahogany. A big window let in lots of light, and a piano
stood by a set of leather armchairs and a matching sofa. A knot formed in
Gunner’s stomach at the sight of several framed diplomas boasting about
Caspian’s achievements. Could a person claim brain damage to explain why
they couldn’t play music anymore?
Gunner hadn’t touched a piano since he was twelve, and even then, it
had been just for fun. He’d already grown tall, and Dad wanted to groom
him into an enforcer at his motorcycle club, so he’d set Gunner up with a
boxing trainer. Gunner had expected the same kind of punch-or-be-punched
schooling he got at home, but Mr. Wagner had been a different kind of man
than Dad and his friends.
The Wagner house hadn’t been as grand as the one belonging to
Caspian’s family, but it was clean and cozy, with a small garden where
Gunner got to train most days. Mrs. Wagner filled it with music whenever
she had students over, but she played for fun as well and encouraged
Gunner to improvise sometimes. The streams and rivulets of classical music
would often flow through the open windows when he trained with Mr.
Wagner, and it hadn’t been love at first note for him at all.
If anything, he’d initially found the music jarring, as if it wasn’t
meant for him and represented a world where he wasn’t welcome. He’d
been an angry child, an angry teenager, and hadn’t grown into the most
well-adjusted adult, but Mr. Wagner had recognized his attitude off the bat
and had become a mentor Gunner’s dad could never be. He sneakily

introduced Gunner to classical music by convincing him he’d be a better
boxer if he used it to clear his mind and stay calm under pressure.
Mr. Wagner had taught him to store his fury for the fight and to focus
his thoughts on technique instead of unleashing the storm raging inside him
at a whim. Gunner never quite mastered those lessons, but he tried his best,
and the stillness he experienced when secretly listening to Beethoven or
Mozart remained his anchor to this day.
Classical music reminded him of being invited to family dinners with
the Wagners, and getting to press keys on the piano to make sounds—
because what he did couldn’t be called playing. Of meals that didn’t come
from a microwave or a blender, of getting to play with their cat, and being
allowed to decorate cookies, because in the Wagner household it wasn’t
considered a woman’s job, but a fun activity for the whole family.
His friends wouldn’t have understood his taste in music, so he kept it
hidden. But no matter how much he loved the brilliant tone of the piano, he
couldn’t play it.
Still, with no one to watch him, he might as well press some keys
before he got inevitably unmasked as a fraud.
The instrument called to him without making a sound, and when
Gunner sat in front of it and saw his reflection in the polished oak,
memories took him back to a moment when Mrs. Wagner had sat on a
cushioned bench alongside him and taught him how to perform a simple
duet. His own digits had looked so clumsy in comparison to her long and
narrow fingers, but he’d learned to play that melody by heart and had
performed it for Mr. Wagner’s sister when she came to visit from Florida.
No one ever shouted at him in their home. And he’d never left
hungry, as if they knew his father didn’t always remember to keep the
fridge full. They’d been the best people Gunner had ever met, but they’d

moved away when he was only fifteen, and the lifeline they offered had
broken.
Still, he was overcome with a sense of nostalgia as he uncovered the
keys and put Caspian’s graceful fingers on their smooth white surface. He
still remembered how to play the C-major scale and smiled when his index
finger pressed the keys one by one, making the instrument sing. Its sound
wasn’t as clear as it ought to be, just off-key, as if it hadn’t been tuned in a
long time, but the tremor that accompanied each note was almost welcome.
Even if Caspian himself were here to play, the music wouldn’t have come
out perfect. Gunner picked up a thin book of sheet music from a stack that
lay on top of the piano, alongside a metronome and a wooden bust of
Frederick Chopin, and opened it on the first page.
It was Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata’, but what he saw below the
title wasn’t just a meaningless tangle of symbols written into rows of staffs.
When he took in the sheet, the music spoke to him as if it were an
alphabet of sounds, as easy to read as a short newspaper article. His heart
skipped a beat in reaction to the melody already playing out in his mind,
and he put his fingers on the keys without needing to look down. His body
knew exactly where to start the soft, melancholic tune, and he didn’t need to
question the score in front of him.
Then again… he didn’t need to read the sheet music, because he
knew this piece by heart, and the body he occupied could bring it to life. He
closed his eyes and tuned into the soft sounds echoing in his heart. A
minute later, he stopped thinking at all, and his fingers produced music as
refined as the piano players whose recordings Gunner kept in a secret folder
on his phone. Even as the pace picked up, challenging his small hands, he
didn’t make a single mistake, lost in this impossible dream where his whole
life was as refined as the music he loved.

Both peaceful and passionate. Removed from grit and grime.
Fulfilled, overwhelmingly beautiful. There was nobody to stop him. He had
no debt, no tattoo covering his face, and no girlfriend whose company he
didn’t even enjoy.
In this new world where his fingers glided over the keyboard, he
wasn’t a hulking brute you sent to make your neighbor give back that
toaster they borrowed, but a graceful boy who could openly walk down the
street holding his boyfriend’s hand. Because no one would question him
about it. Being gay wasn’t a thing in Gunner’s world. But Caspian? He was
slender, cute, polite, and played the piano.
Caspian could be gay.
As the tune changed, turning into a wild, speedy chase of fingers
along the keys, each inhale pulled Gunner higher. Off the chair. Off the
ground, as if he were floating up to another dimension while his body
stayed behind, as alluring as it was material.
But an erratic ping made him drop right back to the bench, and to a
reality where Caspian’s elegant iPhone called for his attention.
The fog of music hadn’t yet settled, but he picked up the device and
opened the screen with a swipe of his thumb. The message wasn’t meant for
him, but in this moment it felt like he could steal Caspian’s life and remain
in this amazing dream forever.
The content of the notification threw him right back to the gutter.
[Let me suck your balls]
He stilled with his cheeks flushed, and stared at the message that
didn’t sound like something any woman would say to a random stranger.
Seconds later, he received a picture of a mouth that most definitely
belonged to a male. The young guy in the picture was showing off his
tongue, as if begging for something to lick.

Gunner curled his legs and could hardly breathe as he scrolled up the
chain of filthy messages on the same app. Caspian went by Chris in all the
conversations, and the photos he attached didn’t show his compact body but
bulging muscles belonging to someone else.
A part of Gunner thought that maybe Caspian had just bought a stolen
smartphone, but people who lived in such a massive house had no need for
second-hand electronics.
The messages were all Caspian’s, and the dirty, dirty things he wrote
to a whole array of men who clamored for the attention of the fake person
Caspian masqueraded as, had Gunner’s body burning.
[I’ll bend you over the hood of my car and fuck you so hard I’ll have
to drive you home.]
[Finger yourself, slut. Open up that hole.]
[I want to see my spunk clinging to that stubble. Are you gonna be my
bitch?]
The dissonance between the person he knew and the things Caspian
had written to strangers made Gunner’s head hurt.
Caspian wanted to be dominant, as hard as it was to imagine. But then
again, he was impersonating a different guy, and always avoided meeting
guys in person. Was he getting off on the catfishing?
Gunner bit his lip, mesmerized by the filthy nature that apparently hid
in this small body.
How many guys had touched it? Did Caspian have sex with a condom
or without? Did he kiss his hook-ups? Even though he lived with his parents
now and wasn’t out, he’d just graduated from university. He’d surely
fucked around while he was away. Maybe he even had boyfriends there?
Gunner’s frantic search through Caspian’s regular text messages
found nothing, but he was done reading anyway. He needed to get a better

look at Caspian’s body now that he was alone.
He sent the piano a kiss before rushing up the stairs with the phone in
hand. Could he find a man to fool around with before this madness ended?
He’d never tried searching for someone, but fantasies about strong
male hands, broad chests, and cocks with balls full of cum had always
lingered at the back of his brain, trying to creep out whenever he got drunk.
At times, he imagined himself as this cute twink with long legs, narrow
hips, and soft lips, but he could never be that boy, and the idea of looking
for men he could have sex with was so illicit he wouldn’t dare go through
with it. In his world, there was no room for weakness or otherness.
He was big, inked, the son of a biker, and enjoyed boxing.
His massive body might be imposing but not graceful.
His face handsome but not tempting.
Even his cock was of an intimidating size.
But all those things weren’t true today. Today, he had this new,
perfectly lovable body, and as he pulled off the ugly pajamas to reveal pale,
smooth skin in front of the mirror in Caspian’s bedroom, the cute, uncut
prick responded to the fantasy of a man breaking into this house and finding
him like this—naked and vulnerable.
With a face that many girls would envy.
He turned around to get a better look at his round butt.
“Anyone want a piece of this?” he whispered, testing his voice. “You
have to earn it.”
God, even his voice sounded seductive!
He laughed out loud and rearranged his hair. Then rearranged it again.
The smooth brown haircut was a bit boring, but Gunner could work with it.
He’d seen boys with mid-length hair, who were absolutely stunning. And

who knew what the future held? Maybe he’d get enough time to grow it
out?
The longer he watched his reflection in the warm rays of the morning
sun, the more certain he was that any guy with even the remotest interest in
men would be up for the cutie in the mirror. Gunner would shave off the
mess of pubes to showcase his cock, and maybe get rid of the leg hair, but if
he were to wish upon a star, he couldn’t have asked for a nicer form to
inhabit.
A sudden urgency twisted his chest, and he took in the open
wardrobe, at shelves stacked with boxes and a row of identical drawers.
What kind of underwear did Caspian wear? Would it be colorful and fun or
sexy, with sheer panels of mesh?
But when he opened the top drawer, it revealed neatly folded pieces
of fabric in various combinations of black, brown, navy, and gray. Dirty red
was the most daring shade in the collection, and as Gunner picked out a
checkered piece, it unfolded into loose boxer shorts that were less inspired
than Gunner’s own underwear.
This couldn’t be all of it. Could it? Caspian surely had something he
wore when he intended to have sex.
Annoyed, Gunner pulled the long drawer all the way out and grinned
when he found a wad of cash hidden at the very bottom, but his attention
was soon drawn to a stack of white undershirts covering an uneven shape.
A secret stash of sexy undies Caspian hid from his mom?
But the smile dropped from his mouth the moment he pulled the
fabric aside to reveal twin silicone globes.
He wasn’t sure what he was looking at for a while, so he pulled the
thing out only to stare, stunned, because there was no denying what it was
now.

A fake butt.
A silicone, peachy, fake butt.
Squishy to the touch, with a hole for fucking and a set of artificial
balls sticking out from between the legs that ended just below the pertest
ass. As he breathlessly held the globes open, a crack appeared in the
artificial skin, but before he could have gathered his thoughts, the door
slammed against the wall, and a cool breeze touched his skin as a dark
silhouette towered in the corridor.
A part of Gunner believed for a moment that his home invasion
fantasy had come to life the same way the one about a perfect twinky body,
a loving family, and playing the piano had, but then the intruder screamed,
and his voice sounded familiar enough to shatter his hopes.
Gunner he was face to face with… himself.

Chapter 4 - Caspian
The damn pickup choked again. The transmission needed fixing, and
judging by the stale smell in the cab, the air-con needed work too. Caspian
couldn’t believe even someone as slovenly as Gunner Russo could have
neglected his vehicle so badly. The repairs would take money, but clean-up
was free. There was no excuse for the crumbs littering the dips in
upholstery nor the beer cans and other trash piled up on the floor.
The state of the car made Caspian think of the man himself. Mother
Nature had given Gunner the body of a god, yet he’d wrecked it by inking
his face, smoking cigarettes—which sadly Caspian now craved—and living
in a hovel. The things Caspian could do in life with a body like Gunner’s…
And the worst thing was that among all the litter surrounding Caspian
wasn’t a single snack to stifle the ravenous hunger that not only twisted
Caspian’s insides but also sat on his skull and squeezed his brain, so he
pulled into a gas station the moment he spotted it. The real Gunner could
wait while Caspian stuffed his face with junk.
He managed not to hit his head this time and rolled out of the old
truck with eyes already set on the Doritos he’d spotted through the shop
window. Pulling out the wallet he’d managed to track down once he found
the clothes Gunner had worn the previous night, he sped through the

automatic doors, his feet carrying him to the snack aisle when he walked
straight into someone.
Caspian stepped back, instantly focused on the collision. “I’m so
sorry. My mistake.”
The other participant, a middle-aged man with a prominent bald spot
at the top of his head, stalled at first but then laughed nervously and backed
away, raising his hands. “No harm done, I have to pay more attention to
where I’m going.”
“Have a good day, sir,” Caspian said, but before he could have made
his way to the blue bag of crispy tortilla goodness, a low laugh made him
glance over the shoulder and freeze.
Bud Dorset was approaching him with a wide grin that had meant
mockery just last night at the gym. His pot belly stretched the front of the
graphic tee with a message too indecent to be worn at work—or anywhere,
if Caspian had something to say about it—but the name tag attached to his
top meant that he was in fact employed here.
The open can of beer in his hand signified he wasn’t fazed by the
possibility of being fired.
“You surprised me there, Gun. Thought that bastard would have left
trembling, but you seem in a real good mood.”
Caspian needed to breathe. This guy might have overpowered him
with ease any other time, but today he had access to every weapon in
Gunner Russo’s arsenal and could use all this strength to his advantage, as
if he were wearing a military-grade exoskeleton. There wasn’t a person in
this town that could have intimidated Gunner, so Caspian should act the
part.
“It’s my girlfriend. She’s a star,” he said.

Bud grinned, showing off the unusually white teeth that didn’t go
with his grey complexion or puffy eyes. “Sandy? I bet her star’s good and
tight.”
Caspian spotted the opportunity and he’d grab it. He slapped Bud’s
forehead hard. No one could blame him for defending his woman’s honor,
even in this world of degenerates.
“That’s my girl you’re talking about, asshole!”
When Bud raised his hands and smiled apologetically, Caspian
walked off to the aisle of junk food with a spring to his step. He normally
had this kind of food on special occasions. But in Gunner’s body? He
wanted to stuff his face with it. The blue packet of Doritos evoked a
visceral feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he also grabbed two chicken
sandwiches on the way to the cash registers. He could only hope the
pittance in his wallet was enough to pay for the food, because his mind was
too scrambled by hunger to count his funds.
He exchanged a few meaningless words with Bud and was off,
packing his mouth full of Doritos while he sped away from the trailer park
and toward the lovely suburb where he’d grown up. He finished the bag
before he reached the right exit but still didn’t feel satisfied enough and
glanced at the cold sandwiches with longing, even though they likely tasted
like salt and cardboard.
He supposed mayonnaise would make up for the flavorless iceberg
lettuce isolating the chicken salad from bread, but it wasn’t something to eat
while driving, so he paced himself and followed the familiar route through a
woodland separating the residential area from the highway.
It was only once he drove past the stone marker at the entryway to
Wild Oaks that he realized the old pickup with rust peeking out from under
its white coat and a sticker of a busty skeleton woman on the window of the

passenger’s side didn’t quite fit the vibe of this neighborhood. Oh, how
different this piece of junk was from the vintage Southfield, which Caspian
had renovated last summer. The old car was one of only twelve ever made
by a genius mechanic dedicated to craft rather than making money, and one
of the very few things his friends envied him for. But one couldn’t have
everything.
He grunted, speeding up on the empty road winding between homes
tucked among trees, in hope that none of his parents’ neighbors would call
the police to report him as a suspicious individual.
His parents should be at work at this time of day, but worry still
settled in his chest when the pale walls of their sprawling home emerged
from the greenery. He’d have parked in the driveway any other time, but a
vehicle like Gunner’s was bound to raise eyebrows, so he ended up pulling
into a narrow service alley in the bushes behind the house.
He needed to find the dumb gorilla before he stole all of Mom’s
jewelry!
Getting into the house was a breeze since he knew the entry codes,
but what he wasn’t prepared for was the smell that hit him the moment he
stepped inside.
Pancakes. Fresh, delicious, Mom’s pancakes, which she infused with
a tiny bit of Bourbon vanilla. He could barely handle three most days, but
his hunger knew no bounds in this overgrown body, so despite being here to
confront the menace who had taken over his identity, he made a U-turn for
the kitchen with saliva already pooling in his mouth.
He narrowly avoided hitting the shoe cupboard with his hip, but the
open doorway was what ended up confusing him, because he almost hit his
head. Again. He knew this house by heart. He’d grown up here, yet
everything seemed different now that he was so much taller and broader in

the shoulders. It was as if he’d walked in wearing a muscle suit and with
two ladders attached to his legs, but those pancakes? They were familiar
despite looking so small from high up.
The chicken salad sandwiches lay forgotten in the dirty truck as he
packed cream, sauce, and fruit between two pancakes and ate them that way
before chugging milk straight from the bottle. He wished he could have
tried them with peanut butter, but because of his allergy, Mom and Dad
didn’t keep any in the house.
He repeated the process with different pancake-sandwich fillings
three times before he was full and sat in the barstool, patting his belly with
a blissful smile. His happiness didn’t last long though.
Someone was speaking upstairs!
Right.
Gunner.
Who on earth could he be talking to? Judging by the three plates still
on the counter, the wolf in sheep’s skin had sat with his parents at breakfast,
and Caspian cringed at the thought of how that conversation might have
gone.
But it didn’t matter. He was here to find out what had happened and
put an end to this bastard’s stay in his home.
The carpet dulled the sound of his steps on the stairs, but he didn’t
waste a second and headed straight for the end of the corridor in the second
floor. Whoever was in Caspian’s bedroom with Gunner would fly out of
here faster than he could apologize for invading someone else’s home!
Caspian pressed on the handle and entered his bedroom, but where
he’d expected to find Gunner with a crony of his, already counting money
from the things they’d collected since Mom and Dad had left, he saw his
own naked form.

But that wasn’t the worst of it.
Gunner was holding Twinkie, Caspian’s favorite sex toy.
Caspian screamed.
The big blue eyes widened, narrow shoulders stiffened and Gunner
dropped Twinkie with a shrill cry.
“W-what are you doing?” Caspian uttered through his choking throat.
His gaze settled on the slab of silicone and then wandered up the slim legs,
the lean torso, all the way to Gunner’s horrified expression.
Gunner’s expression. On his face.
Caspian could hardly stand this mindfuck.
Gunner wouldn’t take his eyes off Caspian even as he grabbed a
blanket. “I… I… What is that?!” he demanded, holding the checkered
fabric in front of himself with one hand and pointing to Twinkie with the
other. “I sure as hell wasn’t fucking it!”
Fire burned in Caspian’s massive form, and he slammed the door
shut, approaching the tiny man, who was both him and not him at the same
time. “None of your damn business! Who told you to rummage through my
stuff, Russo, huh?” he roared and pushed at his chest. There was no
resistance to his force, and Gunner dropped on the bed, clutching the
blanket to his chest.
So this was how easy he’d been to overpower. He both resented
knowing it and revelled in his newfound force. Yesterday at the gym, he’d
been so furious, so angry, yet so very helpless and meek. Or so he’d
thought, because it seemed he was only now realizing what true anger
meant. His whole body buzzed as if he were a human tuning fork, and
Gunner—the object hitting it with his sole existence. An unstoppable force
raged in him with glee when he noticed the wide-eyed look of fear. Like a
shark sensing blood in the water, he followed.

“I didn’t! How did you do this? And that thing has balls by the way!
Are you gay, Casper?” Gunner asked with a mean twist to his lips, but his
hitched breath and the pitch of his voice told Caspian everything. Gunner
could at best be an angry Chihuahua while Caspian had turned into a wolf.
He loved it.
“Why? You afraid of gay cooties, Russo?” he asked with a wide grin
and grabbed the slender ankle, pulling Gunner off the bed with a single tug.
It was easy to feel unstoppable being this tall and strong. To a man
like Gunner, other people didn’t matter. He didn’t have to take their
opinions into account, because if someone confronted him, he could beat
them into a pulp. Gunner probably bench pressed more than Caspian
weighed.
“Who’s got a small cock now, huh?” he asked, ripping the blanket off
Gunner’s naked body.
Understanding flashed through Gunner’s eyes, and he covered his
crotch in panic. “I didn’t say that!” he yelped. Was this pathetic squeak
really how Caspian sounded?
Either way, the sad excuse of wasn’t-me wouldn’t help Gunner after
the torment he’d put Caspian through back in high school.
It was his turn to be afraid, and Caspian pulled him up by the arm.
“Yes, I am gay, and I’ll enjoy being your gay alter ego,” he purred, staring
straight into the wide-open eyes.
It was funny how different his face looked now that he didn’t see it in
the mirror but through another pair of eyes. The delicate lines of his jaw
were youthful rather than emasculated, and his lips—so plump he kind of
wanted to check whether they’d feel different against Gunner’s rough
fingers. And he could check, because Gunner wouldn’t be able to stop him.

“N-no! Don’t you dare be gay in my body!” Gunner yelled in the
sweet voice that made Caspian increasingly amused. Gunner writhed
against him, but even when he punched Caspian’s forearm again and again,
the force behind it was laughably small and couldn’t stop the assault.
For once. For the first time in his life Caspian held all the cards. He
shook Gunner for good measure.
“Remember that time you slammed me against the door, and I got a
concussion, huh? You grew up so strong, and tall, even though you’ve done
nothing to deserve it, and you used it against all those who were weaker
than you. You still do,” Caspian growled, and when Gunner tried to hit him
again, kicking around with both legs, he pushed him down and squeezed his
pale, delicate throat.
Blue eyes opened wide, staring straight at him, and as the naked form
under him arched, seeking a way out of the trap of strong arms, a jolt of
heat passed through Caspian and left his balls throbbing. He’d hated his old
body when he’d lived in it, because it held him back, but it was now
impossible to ignore the rosy nipples perking up toward him like raspberries
that would release sweet juice if he bit in.
So it was fucked up, but no one needed to know.
It wasn’t his fault that his new body was guided by hunger and too
much testosterone.
“You’ve got no idea about me!” Gunner whined and in a bid to free
himself, pressed his palm against Caspian’s chin.
Caspian roared with laughter and grabbed the slim wrist before
pinning it down and leaning over Gunner, whose lips trembled as he looked
up, squirming. “Pretty interesting experience to walk a few miles in my
shoes, isn’t it, Russo?”

His grin might have split his face in half when the big blue eyes
glossed over with tears. He refused to see the body under him as his own,
and the more he adjusted to the new one, the more he rejected the one he’d
been born with, as if it were a transplant from the wrong donor.
His dick might have twitched when a tear slid down the flushed
cheek, but… oh well, if that scared Gunner—all the better.
“You’re a sick fuck! How did you do this?” Gunner choked out when
Caspian loosened his hold on his throat to allow it. Because he was in
charge. He decided who talked and who didn’t. Who walked and who got
their legs broken.
In this new reality, he had all the assets.
“Me? I didn’t do a damn thing. It’s you who attacked me for no
reason. Maybe there’s a God after all, and he’s fed up with your shit,
Russo!” he uttered, increasingly breathless as Gunner’s knee trailed up his
inner thigh.
He was so tiny. Compact and defenseless.
Caspian could do anything to him, and Russo would have no way of
stopping him.
The teary eyes looked up at him as though they were about to pop out
of Gunner’s new head. “You’re… hard,” he whispered, as if afraid to
complain more loudly. “Get off me.” Gunner must have realized that his
position in the food chain had changed, because he was pleading, not
demanding. He might be a rabid animal, but he learned fast.
“You’re one to talk,” Caspian purred, noticing the stiff prick resting
against Gunner’s flat stomach. Funny. It wasn’t that small or pathetic when
not attached to him.
The blue gaze was off him in an instant, and Gunner covered his
crotch with his free hand. “It’s your fault! It’s your gay body!”

Caspian laughed and, at last, let go of Gunner, but he didn’t deny
himself another glance at all that smooth skin. He’d always been attracted
to small guys with cute faces. He just didn’t want to be one himself, and
now, in some fucked-up fashion, the world had responded to his wishes.
There was no guarantee he’d stay this way, so he wasn’t about to
waste this opportunity. “Enjoy the soft bed and pancakes. Don’t eat
anything with nuts. Don’t kill my parents, your EpiPen is in the top drawer
in the closet,” he said, rising to his feet.
Gunner instantly grabbed the blanket and covered himself, as if that
could offer any protection if Caspian chose to hurt him. “You can’t be
serious. We need to do something about this.”
“I’m good.”
Caspian

enjoyed

the

way

Gunner

stared

at

him

without

comprehension before wiping away what was left of the earlier tears.
“Your parents are nice. The pancakes were delicious. The soft bed
gave me the best sleep of my life, and I don’t even like peanuts. So fuck
you sideways.” Gunner showed him the finger but the scowl on his face
was adorable rather than threatening. “Go deal with my life if you think I
had it easy.”
Caspian

stopped

smiling

the

moment

he

remembered

the

confrontation from earlier. “Actually, your buddies want me to move drugs.
You’re seriously worse than I’d thought. I don’t believe in drugs!”
Gunner’s pink lips twisted into an ugly smile. “You figure it out. Or
you won’t have anything to eat. Up to you really.”
Caspian laughed in his face. “You’re what? Twenty-five? And you
haven’t achieved a thing. A smarter man could milk so much more out of
the assets you’ve been born with!”

That rubbed the smirk off Gunner’s face, but he remained still under
the blanket, which meant that this morning’s lesson must have sank in.
Good.
He licked his lips. “And you’re supposed to be gay? Your wardrobe
sucks ass. I could live your life so much better. You got everything handed
to you on a platter.” A weak comeback, but what could one expect from the
likes of Gunner?
“Oh, really? We shall see what I can turn your miserable existence
into with some intelligence and skill.”
Gunner got up and walked over to the bedside table with only the
bottom part of his legs showing from under the blanket cape. Caspian
seriously needed to get laid because even the pink toes were getting him
horny. To his disbelief, Gunner pulled out the small wad of emergency cash
he kept in the underwear drawer and held it out to him.
“Feed my cat. Pay Snowman. This will get you through two weeks of
debt. You pick up the drugs at the Coconut Bar. The password to get to the
basement is air fryer.”
“I will not pay off your debt with my hard-earned savings!” Caspian
said the moment the money was in his hands. He couldn’t believe this
bastard’s audacity!
The smug smile spreading on Gunner’s youthful face made Caspian
want to punch the fucker. “You don’t want the fallout, but suit yourself. Do
you think I’ll just get pancakes for the rest of my life if you go and get
yourself killed in my body?”
“How much do you even owe?”
Gunner shrugged. “A hundred grand or so.”
Heat burned the back of Caspian’s neck. “‘Or so’? You don’t even
know exactly how much? I could just beat the fucker up and be done with

it. Why haven’t you done it?”
Gunner shook his head. “You’ve got no idea how this works, do you?
The Snowman is just the collector. You touch him, and you’re dealing with
bigger fish. Seriously, just pay the man if you don’t want to spend the time
you got in my body in a hospital.”
The sense of safety Gunner’s body had given Caspian was slipping
from under his feet. Russo might be fucking with him, but he was correct
when it came to one thing—Caspian didn’t know how the criminal
underworld worked. Not beyond the things one could see in stupid crime
shows with holoscreens and instant lab results. And if he was to survive his
first clash with it, before he learned his way around, his only choice was to
trust Russo’s word.
“Fine,” he said and spun around, heading off to meet his destiny. His
new body might have come with problems, but he’d untangle them all.
“Fine!” Gunner yelled after him. The damn gorilla always needed to
have the last word.

Chapter 5 Gunner
Gunner was so tense he expected his tendons to break like threads that
had been stretched too thin, and the relief at the sound of the door slamming
downstairs was so great he collapsed onto the bed in a state of shock.
His heart still thudded like mad, and even though he’d tried to put up
a front, the encounter with a man so aggressive and so much bigger than
him left him sitting motionless and unable to calm down. Terrified.
He’d been in some nasty fights since his teenage years, but had
forgotten how it felt to be this frightened. No matter how much he’d
writhed and kicked, it had done nothing against Caspian when the fucker
was armed with Gunner’s body. It took him back to being a ten-year-old
boy, at the mercy of a father who was not only twice his size but also often
came home drunk, or on drugs.
While it was obvious being small had some disadvantages, Gunner
hadn’t expected it to affect him so viscerally.
And as if being squashed like a bug hadn’t been humiliating enough,
he’d gotten a boner on top of it all. If he made his mind blank enough,
could he forget that embarrassing moment ever happened?
Not really, because every time he tried to not think about it, he saw
the scene unravel in explicit detail. Him. In Caspian’s body. So small and

helpless. Trapped under a man twice his size. A strong, massive hand
against his throat. The other holding his wrist down. And a big dick he
knew all too well pressing against him through thick denim.
Gunner curled his toes and laid back in the bedding with a soft groan.
Was he still hard or had he just gotten another erection? He wasn’t sure and
it didn’t matter, because he was alone and no one needed to know what he
was about to do. He pushed down the blanket to look down the body he was
yet to discover. While slim, Caspian definitely worked out in one way or
another, because his muscles had a hint of definition. But Gunner’s onetrack mind led him straight down the treasure trail of hairs, to the cock
resting on a bed of dark pubes. While indeed on the small side, the shaft had
some girth, and Gunner wrapped his slim fingers around it, both horny and
confused by how different it felt in his hand in comparison to the thick
sausage he was used to carrying in his pants.
And unlike his, Caspian’s prick was uncut.
Would there be any difference in how it felt to the touch? He spat in
his hand for good measure, too horny to search for lube, and flushed when
his fingers pulled on the soft hood, exposing the head. He rubbed the tip,
like usual, but the sensation felt almost too intense, so he touched the damp
slit and only then glided the digit around while his balls heated. Small
tingles trailed up the backs of his legs as he let his head fall back, drawn to
the scary moment when the hulking body had stretched over him.
The memory of his own face staring back at him with anger burning
in eyes he so often saw in the mirror was a bit of a cold shower, so he
replaced it with another one. Mike Choi was the sole gay man Gunner
knew, and he too was seriously ripped, with massive guns for arms and pecs
like huge, juicy steaks. Yeah. This would work.

Mike straddling him and opening his pants to present his firm dick.
He was a no-nonsense kind of guy, and he’d show Gunner his place by
shoving that stiff tool down his throat from the get-go.
Gunner had never tried using any toys to play with his hole. It didn’t
feel right, even if he were to plan going somewhere truly private for such an
experiment. He was afraid he’d like it too much, that it would change how
he perceived himself, and he shouldn’t want to get dicked in the first place.
But was it something he should try now? No longer constricted by who he
ought to be or what he should represent, could he explore a part of himself
he never dared to acknowledge?
Maybe. He’d need to find out if he had it in him.
For now, he was far too engrossed in the fantasy of submitting to
another man to bother working out the technicalities of anal.
He glanced down his smooth chest and pinched one of the pink
nipples, imagining not the real Gunner, but this body being teased and
grabbed by a hot, muscular guy like Mike Choi. For once, he didn’t want to
close his eyes and drift off while jerking off. He wanted to see every detail
of his own trembling thighs, tiny feet and slim fingers around a cock that
barely peeked from out of his clenched fist when he stroked it.
His toes curled when he imagined the weight of Mike’s hand on his
head, the scent of male arousal, and above all—the cock forcing its way
past Gunner’s gag reflex. It would move, caressing him from the inside, and
within moments he’d be red-faced and damp with spit, but he’d let Mike
use him however he pleased anyway.
To be desired like this, touched, rubbed and squeezed, was a need that
always penetrated Gunner’s secret fantasies. He moved his hand over the
pulsing cock, raising his hips as the lewd scene playing in his head
intensified and the imaginary balls met his chin.

Heat flashed through his body, and as phantom cum splashed down
his throat, the scent of his own filled the air, and he shivered with pleasure,
rocking in the middle of the bed until his balls dried.
He lay in the soft sheets for a while. This was exactly what he needed
to take the edge off after confronting Caspian. It would had been amazing to
take a nap, but he wasn’t sure how much time he’d be given in this body, so
he intended to make the best of this fuckery. He just needed to make sure he
stayed away from fights.
He took a shower in Caspian’s en-suite bathroom, which was half the
size of Gunner’s whole trailer. The water never changed temperature when
he washed, covering him in a steady stream from the square rain
showerhead above. Just like Caspian’s boring room and wardrobe, the
interior of the bathroom was an expensive-looking mix of white, greys and
blacks in a variety of textures. Gunner had actually gone over to one of the
other bathrooms to pick up a shampoo that wasn’t mint or sandalwood. And
what was Caspian’s obsession with tea tree anyway? It didn’t even smell
like tea.
With his hair refreshed with the scent of raspberry and banana,
Gunner was ready to take on the world, so he opened the closet with a wide
smile that faltered as soon as the sea of gray, black, brown, and navy blue
swallowed him like a tsunami of dull. The situation went from bad to worse
when Gunner started laying the garments out on the bed, only to discover
that monotonous colors weren’t the biggest issue about Caspian’s wardrobe.
Everything was two sizes too big. The suit Gunner found in a remote
corner was the single tailored piece that might showcase the narrow lines of
Caspian’s body, but where Gunner had hoped to emerge from the house like
a butterfly about to have the time of his life, he now feared he might end up
looking more like a moth.

In his own life, Gunner didn’t have money to spare and was far from
being flashy in his fashion choices, but even he incorporated more fun in
his clothes than… whatever this was. No sane guy would as much as glance
at him in any of the things filling up the two rails in the vast closet, which
meant that he had one option—to let Caspian’s credit card take him out for
a shopping spree.
His hands trembled when he realized that the best spot to go through
with that plan was the mall in one of the nearby towns located along the
highway.
The same one where Mike Choi had his sports nutrition store.
Was that destiny, or what?
A cold shiver went all the way to his stomach when he remembered
the ease with which Caspian had pushed him over, but he couldn’t live
guided by fear. Mike Choi was rough around the edges, but surely wouldn’t
be aggressive toward a gay man he could fuck?
Or date.
Would they date?
Gunner stared into the tall mirror. He was cute. Why wouldn’t another
guy treat him for once? When he dated girls, it was his job to pay for them,
but shouldn’t he be the one getting treated when he was this motherfucking
adorable?
The strands on his head barely reached the ends of his earlobes, but
that was still more hair than he was used to dealing with. Should he splurge
on a visit to the barber’s? Caspian didn’t have any jewelry either, only a
fancy oversized watch that had extra holes punched in to fit his slim wrist.
Even in his old body, Gunner liked to sport a bit of bling and could get
away with signets, but there was nothing to put on his long, slim fingers in
any of the drawers. He could only hope Caspian had lots of credit.

He ended up putting on a pair of torn jeans he’d found tucked at the
back of a drawer, because while worn, they were small enough to kind-of fit
Gunner’s new body. There was a hole on one of the legs, but it looked like
some pathetic accidental rip, so he tore the denim all the way to the seam
for it to appear more deliberate. There was nothing to be done about the
tent-like tops though, so Gunner resigned himself to one of the white polo
shirts, hoping he’d get to replace it with something more interesting soon
enough.
Five minutes later, he opened the garage door and hardly believed his
eyes when he found a beautiful vintage car waiting for him. The dragon
logo at the front of the hood told him nothing, but the shape of its body was
reminiscent of luxurious cars from the 1950s. Painted a cherry red, it had an
interior furnished with cream leather upholstery and marbled wood. And
while obviously an antique of sorts, it was in excellent shape, polished to
perfection as if it had been deep-cleaned last night.
The driver’s seat was comically close to the wheel, but Gunner
realized how much sense that made with Caspian’s short legs the moment
he sat inside the vehicle, rubbing the thin steering wheel as if it were a
sacred artefact.
Now that he got to see the console from up close, he decided that the
car wasn’t just clean. There wasn’t a scratch or imperfection in sight, as if it
were either new or recently renovated. He didn’t think he’d ever sat in a
vehicle this flawless outside of a showroom.
It took him a while to find the keys attached to a laser-cut token
shaped like a pony car, but he screamed in glee the moment he realized how
smoothly the vehicle ran. Not a single issue with this pristine mechanical
beast, regardless of how old it was. Oh, how he wished to show off this
beauty, and flaunt it in front of the Brown brothers. Then again, those two

fucks meant nothing in his new life. In this car, he was the king of the road
even with the unruly damp hair that kept getting into his eyes.
He might not get to enjoy this forever, but for as long as this craziness
lasted, he’d live Caspian’s life to the fullest. Only it would be a better
version of it. With fun, and color, and his pert ass turning heads.
Getting to the mall was a breeze, and he entered its hallways with a
spring to his step and a smile on his face as shop windows passed in front of
his eyes, trying to tempt him inside. He was on the lookout for the perfect
clothes, but fifteen minutes into his spree, it was starting to become clear
that while he had a vague idea what kind of clothes looked attractive on the
pretty twinks he’d been so often envious of, he had no reference where to
find them.
Prone to distraction as he was though, he drifted off to get himself the
biggest strawberry Frappuccino topped with extra cream and sprinkles. Just
because he could. Usually, he’d consider it a wasteful thing to buy on his
tight budget, but Caspian’s account could take that hit. The guys would
have given him shit for buying a girly drink as well, but that didn’t matter
when he was a tiny speck of a boy no one paid mind to at the mall.
For once, he wasn’t making any waves, he wasn’t gathering wary
glances, and wasn’t followed by security. He could sit by the fountain with
his pink drink, unnoticed, and not worry that someone might bother him.
He could just be.
He drifted through the corridors, surrounded by shops he’d only ever
entered when carrying Sandy’s bags, still too intimidated to go into any of
the ones that might stock the kind of clothes that would complement his
new slender body. But as he stepped into a large circular interior that was
often used for special events at the mall, his feet grew roots into the fake
marble floor.

The clear song of a piano was out of sync with the pop music blasting
from the speakers, but even before Gunner’s gaze drifted to the large white
instrument standing next to a fountain on the side of the hall, he’d been
briefly taken back to his late childhood and the lunches eaten with Mr.
Wagner after boxing practice while Mrs. Wagner played the piano in the
other room.
Several people stood still and watched the performer play, but most
didn’t pay him any attention, going about their business while the stranger’s
fingers danced over the keyboard like ballerinas repeating the same
performance for the hundredth time. There wasn’t a hint of discord in the
music, and when the man rocked, as if hypnotized by the melody he
produced, Gunner found himself gravitating ever closer to the grand piano.
The player had longish wavy hair, which he styled back, a graceful
profile, and the slender body of a model. He moved with the music, as if it
was carrying him to a different world altogether.
Gunner’s fingers itched to join the musician. He could imagine
himself playing alongside the stranger, showing off his new-found skills
and flowing with the music they created together.
In a burst of courage he couldn’t comprehend, he approached, put his
drink by the music rack, and sat by the man, who looked back at him with a
frown of surprise.
But he didn’t stop playing, so Gunner closed his eyes and joined in,
letting his fingers guide him over the keys. He was intimidated at first, but
once he tuned in to the unknown melody, his hands found their rhythm,
producing a background tune that elevated the piece, making its sound yet
more refined.
The other man’s knee pressed against his in appreciation, and they
moved together, floating on the waves of classical music, as if it was for

everyone, not just wealthy people who could afford fancy instruments and
visits to the opera.
They didn’t have to discuss anything, and the music came to an end
without one awkward note, as if they both implicitly understood it needed
to happen, based on prior knowledge.
Adrenaline rushed through Gunner’s veins, and he smiled widely as
the small crowd that had gathered around them erupted in applause.
Gunner’s mouth stretched into a smile, even though he wasn’t sure
what would have been the appropriate reaction. But when the other guy rose
from the bench and bowed, Gunner hurried to follow his example and bask
in the appreciation of perfect strangers.
People had cheered him on when he boxed for money. But not like
this. Not just because they appreciated the performance. When Gunner
entered the ring, bets were made, and whether he won or lost, someone
always left with a scowl. But those people? They simply enjoyed the
beautiful sound of the piano.
The stranger stared straight at Gunner, adjusting his crisp green shirt
before putting on a sleek leather jacket.
Gunner got a bit nervous, suddenly worried that he’d messed up the
guy’s moment. “That was fun, right?”
“Why? You’ve grown out of hating it, Cas?” the other man asked,
pinching a mole on his chin, which was the only imperfection on his
pristine face.
Oh, so Caspian knew this person? Did all piano players know one
another? There couldn’t be that many of them around.
Gunner grabbed his drink, because he wasn’t sure what to do with his
hands. “People change.”

The stranger shrugged and stepped away from the piano, which saved
Gunner the effort of tilting his head all the way back in order to see his face.
“Is that why you’ve changed your style, Cas? Ripped jeans?” A wide smile
stretched the handsome mouth, but the question made Gunner selfconscious.
“I… I don’t know really. I’m shopping for some new stuff. I just came
back to town, had a look at my wardrobe, and I’m thinking I need
something more… current, you know?”
The other man took another step back and watched Gunner in a way
that made him feel like a bug pinned under a microscope. They weren’t…
exes, were they?
“That shirt isn’t doing your frame any favors.”
“Hey Alex, amazing performance!” A young woman smiled in
passing and tapped Alex on the shoulder, but didn’t acknowledge Gunner,
as if he wasn’t even there.
Not that Gunner wanted to be noticed, and by a woman at that, but it
still stung a bit. He pulled on the front of the polo shirt with a scowl. “Do
you have time to help me look for something more appropriate? You seem
like you’ve got your shit together.” He hoped the compliment could win
him a competent advisor.
Alex went quiet, and just as Gunner was about to retreat, embarrassed
over wasting this guy’s time, Caspian’s friend offered him a wide smile and
squeezed his shoulder. “Oh, yeah. I lead such a busy life in Atlanta, but I’m
here just visiting my parents, so I have lots of time. You must tell me about
your plans for the future. Where should we go first?”
Put on the spot, Gunner wasn’t sure, but he did have Caspian’s credit
card to boost his confidence. He thought back to Caspian’s boring

wardrobe. “I’m done looking like my own dad, you know. I wanna feel
fresh.”
Alex’s smile widened. “Of course you do. I know just the thing. With
your height, we should probably hit the teenager section though. If I do a
good enough job, maybe you’ll reconsider and sell me the car.”
Gunner chuckled when Alex put his arm over his shoulders. Surely
with the help of a friend so stylish, everything would work out for him. This
day would be good. He’d make himself into the perfect bait for Mike Choi.

Chapter 6 - Caspian
Snowman had to count the money three times, as if his racing mind
couldn’t cope with the job at hand. He only succeeded once he divided the
cash into five piles accounting for a hundred dollars each. His face was dark
pink, like some extravagant kid’s drink from the nineties, and his short,
white hair hung over the prematurely-wrinkled forehead like a torn spider
web.
Caspian’s feet kept tapping the floor of the dingy office as he watched
his hard-earned money disappear into a safe, but Gunner suggested the
person he was actually indebted to—the man behind Snowman—was a
dangerous character, and Caspian wasn’t willing to suffer the consequences
of Gunner’s disastrous financial decisions.
Unfortunately, since he now inhabited Gunner’s body, the bastard’s
problems had become his own, and unless something changed, he’d have to
visit the cramped office in one of the buildings by the entryway into the
trailer park many more times in the future.
“Pleasure doing business with you,” Snowman said and took another
gulp of coffee that smelled so sharp it could have risen the dead.
“So we’re done?” Caspian asked just to confirm what he already
knew.

Snowman nodded. “For two weeks.”
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
“And when will I be done paying this off?” Caspian asked, trying to
keep his voice steady, because if he was to deal with the pressing financial
issues and move on, he needed to make plans—something Gunner
apparently wasn’t very good at.
Caspian didn’t know how long he’d get to live as this alpha guy, and
he wanted to enjoy it to the fullest, without worrying about a debt he knew
nothing about!
Snowman chuckled and rubbed his scruffy cheek. “I’m not the person
to discuss the terms with. You know that.”
It seemed he’d need to have another chat with Gunner then. And
soon.
“Fine. See you in two weeks,” Caspian said, cursing when he rose and
hit his head on the lamp. Being tall had its downsides too.
He walked out of the office and toward his new home with shoulders
squared and mind clouded by rage he couldn’t pinpoint. It was like smoke
in his brain, obscuring all logical thought and making his fists clench.
Nobody paid him any attention as he made his way down the narrow
asphalt road winding through the trailer park. He took his time to spy on the
unfamiliar community and get to know his neighbors. Some of the residents
kept their places tidy and even owned small gardens, while others had
literal trash piles around their homes, as if the owner of the grounds didn’t
care about everyone’s health and hygiene.
He put on a pair of sunglasses to protect himself from the sun and fed
his curiosity from behind the reflective lenses. A couple fought nearby,
shouting at the tops of their lungs. An older gentleman made a table in a
makeshift carpentry workshop set up under an awning in front of his trailer.

A mom watched her kids play outside, sitting on the steps of her home with
a thick layer of green cream on her face and a magazine in her lap. It was
the society in microcosm, with its own heroes and villains.
And a bunch of lazy asses who did nothing useful with their time.
He scowled when Sandy lifted a pair of bejeweled shades from her
eyes and waved at him from a sun chair. She was chatting to a bunch of
female friends, who’d gathered by a trailer near the road, drinking cocktails
and making full use of the sun in their bikinis.
“Hey! Gun-gun! Wait up, we need to talk!”
“I’m not giving you money,” Caspian said, heading straight for
Gunner’s place and the truck parked next to it. He needed to get away from
here. From the cockroaches. From Snowman. From the thugs dumb luck
had cast in the roles of his friends. And from Gunner’s girl.
At least hunger was no longer a problem, since he’d stolen provisions
from his parents’ fridge, but who the hell knew how long those would last?
This wasn’t the life he’d imagined when he dreamed of having a body like
this. He’d been dealing with problems all morning when he could have been
looking for a sweet piece of ass to pin.
“Asshole!” One of Sandy’s friends yelled. “This woman could be
carrying your baby, and you’re making her pay for your cat’s food? What
kind of man are you?”
“But she’s not,” Caspian said, hoping that Gunner didn’t in fact owe
anyone child support. He went faster as he approached the beat-up truck
and slid into the cab, muting the squeaky voices of Sandy’s friends with
loud music. In the corner of his eye, he saw one of them hurry his way, but
he had no intention of letting anyone berate him. He might have to deal
with the debt, but considering that Gunner had mentioned his cat, but not
his girlfriend when they’d met, Caspian assumed she wasn’t that important,

and he wouldn’t jump through hoops to please her. She had her own two
hands and could search for a job instead of sitting around in the middle of
the day if she needed cash.
He only relaxed once he could no longer see the gate of the trailer
park in his rearview mirror. The road, and the familiar buzz of the engine
made him relax. He glanced at the thick fingers resting on the steering
wheel and imagined what those massive hands could do to a man… The
right kind of guy would also think so. Maybe Caspian didn’t even need
Grindr to hook up? He was hot now and could surely find someone willing
to bend over in no time.
His face heated when he remembered finding the cute barista from his
favorite coffee shop on the app, and since he knew where the pretty boy
worked, he could just go there and casually propose a date while he placed
his order.
His wallet might have gotten lighter by five hundred dollars minutes
ago, but he still had enough cash on him for a coffee. Or two, if the barista
agreed to a rendezvous after work.
In his mind, he was already pressing the blond cutie against the wall
at the back of the building, smelling the coffee and sugar in his hair, and
lowering the pale jeans to expose the round globes of his buttocks.
He stepped on the gas with fire burning in his veins, but just as he was
about to make a dash toward the cafe, a red Porsche blocked his way,
changing lanes as if its driver hadn’t noticed that Caspian had picked up his
pace. He punched the horn, getting agitated when the rude fuck refused to
go faster and rolled forward at the pace of a turtle, laboriously overtaking
the car on the other lane, as if it were a long-haul truck, not a sports vehicle.
And unless it was only Caspian’s imagination sparking with anger, the
fucker had slowed down, as if trying to punish him for daring to honk at a

fancy car with obnoxious personalized licence plates—ALEXG.
Caspian knew an Alex who never failed to mention that his parents
named him after Alexander the Great. That Alex’s parents owned a large
funerary company with shops all over the state, earned a crazy amount of
money on pushing unnecessary products on bereaved people, and he wasn’t
better himself. For whatever reason Alex had decided he and Caspian were
mortal enemies back in middle school, when Caspian won a piano
competition, relegating Alex to second place.
They’d never fought or openly spoke against one another, but while
their rivalry remained implicit, even Caspian’s parents had caught its scent
and kept mentioning a start-up Alex had presided over, as if they hoped it
would motivate him.
Caspian really didn’t care what Alex did with his life, or whether he’d
won any more piano contests for amateurs. The fact that he’d grown so
much taller than Caspian, however? That shit was pissing him off to this
day. Especially since the fucker never failed to mention it. At least he still
had the beautiful, cherry-red Southfield to flaunt in front of the bastard.
Caspian would make sure Alex didn’t get his hands on the vehicle, even if
he offered millions of dollars for it.
Caspian rolled down his window and looked out when the car in front
of him came to a standstill at a large crossing. “Just move the damn thing!
Can’t you see the green light?” he yelled despite knowing that the traffic
lights at this particular intersection were kind of confusing, and he’d fallen
victim to it several times when he’d first learned to drive.
A head stuck out of the Porsche, and Caspian stilled when it turned
out that it was none other than his frenemy Alexander the Not-so-Great.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you in a hurry?” the bastard shouted back but
didn’t move despite the light for their lane still being green! Cars in the

other lane kept passing them now that their lights changed, and he could
have technically just maneuvered around Alex, but at this point, it was a
matter of principles
Caspian’s hand went for the horn before he could have thought his
reaction through, and he drove closer to Alex’s vehicle, stopping two inches
away. “Are you blind? If you can’t read traffic lights, get a fucking taxi!”
“Learn some manners.” Alex shook his head and showed him the
finger, but there was an attentiveness in his eyes that Caspian had never
seen before.
Yeah, asshole, you just flipped off a dangerous motherfucker, and
you’ll regret it.
Caspian opened the car and dashed toward Alex’s vehicle, slamming
his hand on the roof so loudly Mr. Not-so-Great flinched in fear. Here was
to hoping he’d pissed his pristine slacks.
“Get out of my way or I’ll slash your tires!” Caspian roared, and hit
Alex’s side window to make his point. The bastard was lucky he’d closed it.
Rage burned through his veins, growing, like a bonfire fueled by
gasoline, and this was as good an opportunity as any to unleash it. He was
finding out what it was like to make Alex pay attention, and he was getting
weirdly horny because of it. His hook-up couldn’t come any sooner.
“Get lost, or I’ll call the cops!” Alex yelled from inside the car, but he
was leaning away ever-so-slightly, as if he were afraid that the muscular
giant might smash his window and drag him out.
Caspian didn’t think. He reached for the key in his pocket and showed
it to Alex before lowering his hand, ready to spoil the pristine red paint.
The pure, unadulterated terror in Alex’s eyes was the sweetest
ambrosia for Caspian’s heart.

“No! Oh, my god! Are you insane? Don’t! Sorry, sorry! Jeeesus!” He
raised his hands for good measure.
“Fuck off then. Go! Go,” Caspian said and kicked the bastard’s wheel,
breaking into ecstatic laughter when Alex rode off with a squeak of tires,
dashing through the intersection. The fumes he’d left behind smelled like
spring sunshine. The lights had changed during their exchange, but Alex
always had more luck than reason, and he hadn’t collided with anyone on
the way.
When Caspian turned around, satisfied with this victory, his gaze
lingered on the old car behind his truck and he felt a pang of guilt when the
elderly lady hunched over behind the wheel, as if she expected him to yell
at her next. She must have watched the fight and hadn’t even bothered to
use her horn to break it up. She’d done nothing wrong and shouldn’t have to
fear a stranger, just because he was bigger and stronger than her, so he
saluted her with a manic grin and got back to his car with adrenaline
flushing his body.
Was this what life was like for Gunner Russo? Undeserved respect?
He might have to deal with debt, with the gang shit, and share his trailer
with an extended family of roaches for as long as this crazy dream lasted,
but people at last paid attention to him. Caspian was used to being invisible,
to people’s eyes sliding past him as if he didn’t matter, but now he could
feel the weight of his bulk in every step he took, and he would enjoy it.
Starting now.
Once the light changed to green again, he drove straight into the
swath of gray emptiness that made up the town centre. Dotted with
warehouses, old shops, and bungalows, it was a landscape of long-lost
prosperity. But when Gunner drove past the small church, which stood out
with its elegant white facade, and the school, the red brick of the county

library called out to him. It used to be his favorite place in this town, and
had become more so since a modern café opened within its walls. Mom had
told him the locals initially predicted its failure, but turned out even a town
as insignificant and drab as Grit, Ohio, needed a place for casual dates and
meetups with friends that were a bit classier than sitting around on the
bleachers.
His skin itched in anticipation, even though he didn’t yet know
whether the pretty boy he had in mind was working this afternoon. He
slammed the door shut and was about to march straight at the door to
present his new improved self, but stepped back to check himself out in the
rearview mirror. Gunner kept his hair in a crew cut so short Caspian didn’t
have to worry about any of it being out of place, but he did make sure his
ears were clean, and that the front of his shirt wasn’t stained.
The eyes looking back at him had the color of milky hot chocolate,
and they shimmered when he smiled, making the expression as charming as
he’d always wanted to appear. Even the face tattoo couldn’t spoil the
perfection of Gunner’s masculine features, so Caspian smoothed out his
clothes once more and entered the café.
It was modern yet not pretentious, spacious but cozy, with pale
wooden chairs and green plants on shelves, tables, and in strategic spots on
the floor.
Whenever he visited his parents, he loved to come here and sit by the
window with a flat white and watch people or read. The chatter of other
customers created the right amount of white noise to calm him, and the staff
was both proficient, polite, and eye candy.
But as he stepped through the door, something was noticeably
different in the atmosphere that greeted him inside. The pretty barista stood
behind the counter, but something was off about the smile he greeted

Caspian with. Since everyone was allowed to have a bad day, Caspian
ignored the way the barista whispered something to his co-worker and
captured the blue gaze from afar.
He could sense many pairs of eyes sliding across his tall, muscular
form, but he hadn’t come for the patrons. He was here for the boy with the
septum ring and silvery hair.
“Didn’t know Grit had places like this,” rolled off his tongue
effortlessly as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. He used to hate the low,
rumbly tone of Gunner’s voice when the guy had intimidated him with it,
but now that it wasn’t being used against him, he recognized it as capable of
charming pants off pert boy asses.
The barista, whose name tag read Adam wouldn’t stop smiling but his
gaze drifted off to the ordering screen in a way it never had when Caspian
came over in his own, insignificant body. Was he shy? Caspian could work
with that. In fact, he wouldn’t mind doing all the heavy lifting. He’d love to
be the man who asked out, the man who made the first move, and the man
who pounded his partner into the mattress.
Though he was getting ahead of himself.
“Yeah, it’s been here a few years. What can I get you?”
Caspian toyed with having his usual order, but instead grinned,
hoping to engage the barista. “What’s your favorite?” he dared to ask in a
flirtatious way. Short and small, Caspian had always been too selfconscious to flirt with the guys he liked and settled on whoever seemed
least choosy, but he was no longer the shy man no one wanted. Today, he
walked the world as a muscular hunk that wouldn’t be crossed or
overlooked.
The question made Adam look up, and a deep flush colored the boy’s
cheeks when their eyes met. How amazing was it that his sheer presence

could do that?
“I… um, the mocha is the best in town. Would you like to try one?”
Emboldened by the sight of Adam’s tongue touching the corner of his
lips, Caspian leaned forward and winked. “How about I pay for two and we
drink them together?”
When Adam glanced up at him again, Caspian could have sworn he
heard the boy’s speeding heartbeat. “I’m sorry, I can’t… I’m at work, you
know. Sorry,” he mumbled. “Mocha? Extra sprinkles on the house,” he
added as if wanting to… finish the transaction even though Caspian’s
presence at the counter wasn’t blocking anyone else from placing their
order.
But it then occurred to Caspian that maybe Adam’s boss was a
hardass who didn’t want his employees flirting with customers. Would the
boy write his number on Caspian’s receipt, like people did in the movies?
Either way, Caspian hadn’t come here to walk away empty-handed.
“When do you get off? I could wait,” Caspian said and rubbed the
boy’s finger on the counter. The brief touch sparked arousal in his balls, as
if his libido were out of control. They could fuck in Gunner’s old fucked-up
truck, if the boy were up for it, because no one in their right mind would
care about the vehicle being a piece of junk when such prime dick was on
the line.
But Adam froze, sucking on his bottom lip in a way that sent
Caspian’s mind down the rabbit hole of cocksucking.
A man in a suit and tie approached the counter with a smile. “Is
everything okay?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?” Caspian asked, taken aback by the intrusion. It
wasn’t as though Adam had other customers to serve at the moment.

“I just noticed you haven’t yet received your drink, sir. Would you
like me to take over, Adam?” the man asked, and to Caspian’s frustration,
the boy nodded and stepped away from the register as if he were fleeing.
He walked off with a mumbled “Sorry, I mean, thank you.”
The fuck was that? Why would the pretty boy miss out on the dick
ride of his life? Caspian might not have any experience topping, but it
wasn’t like he’d never had sex, and what he didn’t know he could surely
make up for in enthusiasm.
“Since when is it not appropriate for staff to chat with customers? Is
that some new policy I’m not aware of?” Caspian asked, fighting the
boiling heat under his skin. He’d spent his life as a permanently pissed-off
guy with no muscle to enforce his will, and yet despite now having this
large, imposing body, he didn’t know how to fight such rudeness when the
people involved weren’t scum.
“I could see my barista getting uncomfortable. Please just order your
coffee and—”
“What was there to be uncomfortable about? I wasn’t being
unpleasant.”
“You are being unpleasant now, sir. Please don’t cause a scene.”
He wasn’t causing a scene! What on earth was this about?
It was as if someone had injected adrenaline straight into Caspian’s
veins. “What’s your problem?”
He could sense at least a dozen eyes sticking to his back in unhealthy
curiosity. Of customers, and even of the other staff as if he were a freak
show just because he looked imposing. Of course Gunner would have
marked his perfectly handsome face with an ugly tattoo. The bastard had no
future beyond bars, orange jumpsuits and an early grave, and therefore no
reason to keep such natural perfection unspoiled.

Fucking idiot.
The manager raised his hands, but frowned. “There will be no
problems as long as you leave peacefully, sir.”
Caspian’s own body wouldn’t have had long enough arms to grab the
huge jar of roasted coffee beans standing by the espresso machine. But
Gunner’s did, and Caspian grabbed it before tossing the entire contents at
the manager. “Congratulations. You’ve just earned yourself a ton of
reviews, but for now this is me throwing pearls to the pigs,” he growled and
spun around, storming for the door.
He hadn’t been insulted like this in his entire life! These people
treated him as if his sole presence was an infection that needed to be
contained with a cocktail of vodka and antibiotics. Un-fucking-believable.
And even though he was in the right, his head boiled with
embarrassment at the sound of whispers meant to chastise him and chase
him farther away. Worst of all—it was working.
And Adam, who had always been polite, had turned out to be a prissy,
elitist fucker, who dismissed a guy just because he looked as if he might
have been born on the wrong side of the tracks! So he wasn’t good enough
to plow that precious ass, because he had old shoes and a rusty truck?
There wasn’t enough money in Caspian’s wallet to splurge on a new
wardrobe right now, and he had no doubt that this massive frame was as
difficult to shop for as his own tiny one. Couldn’t he just enjoy this fuckedup dream for what it was?
He hit the roof of his truck a dozen times, but that didn’t quite take
the edge off his anger. Apparently, he was now too intimidating for real-life
hook-ups, so Grindr it was.
And he was hungry. Again.

He could only think of one place in Grit where he’d get a plateful of
filling food on the cheap and have the peace and quiet to browse a dating
app.
And yes, he’d have peanut butter, because he now wasn’t allergic to
it.

Chapter 7 - Gunner
The new clothes hugged every line of Gunner’s body. He hadn’t been
sure about the sizes at first, but Alex had insisted that they fit so much
better than the baggy outfits Caspian had always hidden behind. It only
made sense to listen to the advice of a man who looked so good himself.
Because what did Gunner know about fashion? He wore the safest possible
options and clothes that showed off his muscular form, but the body he now
occupied was short, slender, and would be complemented by different
styles.
Most of the load he now carried in several plastic bags came from the
teenager ranges of popular brands. All of it, really, apart from the high-tops
in a pretty lavender hue, which were the smallest men’s size in the large
store specializing in sneakers. Their color had intimidated Gunner at first,
but Alex convinced him it was okay to wear for young men, and he’d ended
up putting them on right away.
The shade of the trainers went surprisingly well with his new green tie
dye T-shirt and jeans, both of which were a skin-tight fit. Walking around in
such snug clothes made Gunner self-conscious, but the longer he wore
them, the more he liked his own reflection in shop windows. He was getting
some eyeballs from strangers, even a couple of smiles, and when Alex

suggested that he should think about getting his hair done in order to match
the new style, Gunner didn’t hesitate and reached for Caspian’s credit card.
Alex had to be a very good friend of Caspian’s to be so supportive
and spend so much time on the wild shopping spree. When Gunner wasn’t
sure about going blond, Alex reassured him about it, and then talked
Gunner into being bold, grabbing life by the balls, and so… Gunner now
sported a crystal stud at the top of his ear. Because it was his body now, and
since he was no longer an imposing, hulking presence, no one would care
that he experimented with his looks in a way that would have made people
in his past life question his masculinity.
There was only one question left to answer—was he as fuckable as he
considered himself to be?
He was almost regretful when Alex needed to go home, but maybe it
was just nerves. With his new/old friend gone, Gunner no longer had an
excuse to delay the planned visit to Mike Choi’s store, but maybe his
worries were unwarranted now that the new style had transformed him into
someone this sexy. And the bright hair color made his face so much perkier
than Caspian had ever seemed.
There was no point in overthinking all this when he knew for a fact
that Mike was gay and therefore up for what Gunner was currently offering.
Gunner walked into the store stocked with shelves of energy bars and
protein shakes with confidence, but his energy depleted with each step,
because the customers, who were mostly buff gym bunnies, gave him
curious glances. He didn’t belong here anymore, and his skin crawled with
the realization that he was no longer sure where he belonged.
In his old body, he’d felt right at home here whenever he shopped for
supplements, or just stopped by to chat to Mike about his workout routine.
But he was a different person now—not the regular known to all the staff

but a pretty thing with a juicy ass presented in tight jeans, and a face to turn
heads. He hadn’t come for healthy snacks or advice. He was here for Mike.
The familiar tattoo of a stylized dragon crawled up Mike’s arm as he
leaned over the counter at the back of the store, writing something down in
a large notebook. He wasn’t very tall, and in his own body Gunner easily
towered over him, but still seemed like a giant compared to Caspian’s form,
with thick biceps, a big chest pushing at the front of the black muscle shirt,
and smooth black hair pulled into a ponytail at the back of his head.
Gunner felt as if he were in a video game, wearing a full-body VR set.
How should he act to attract a man like Mike? In porn, guys always went
straight down to business, and while Mike never hid his sexual preferences,
it wasn’t like he ever talked about that side of his life in Gunner’s presence.
But he was a business owner, always well-groomed, and drove a nice car.
Gunner would be intimidated approaching a guy like him if he didn’t know
that Mike was cool, and mingled with all kinds of people.
“Hey,” he tried when Mike hadn’t noticed him standing there for at
least half a minute.
Brown eyes looked up, but the handsome face that always had broad
smiles for Gunner froze in a neutral expression. “Can I help you?” Mike
asked, straightening up, as if he wanted to show off his superior height.
Now what he was available to Gunner, it was impossible to miss the sexy
way his upper lip protruded ever-so slightly.
Gunner glanced over his shoulder, suddenly self-conscious about
what he was about to do. Not just because this was the first time he
intended to approach a guy he wanted to hook up with but because he didn’t
want to out Mike to customers. But no one was close enough to hear a
hushed conversation at the counter, so he raised his chin and met Mike’s
gaze to the intense drumming of his heart.

“You look like the kind of guy who knows about all these protein
powders and workouts. Do you offer personal training?”
So it was suggestive. And bold. But also dressed up in enough lies to
keep Gunner from running off in embarrassment.
Mike’s brows rose, and he let the silence hang in the air as if it were a
dead mouse stinking up the place. “Sorry, I’m not a trainer. But if you tell
me what you want to achieve, I can tell you which products to use.”
He clearly didn’t catch the suggestion, which meant that hiding
behind indirect propositions was dead in the water.
Gunner licked his lips and leaned against the counter. Even the fresh
hole in his ear seemed to throb with worry and excitement, but in this body,
he could do such things. He could pursue these illicit needs. Nobody would
recognize him behind the big blue eyes and blond hair. In this body, he was
safe to truly be himself. “I’d like to achieve you on top of me,” he
whispered, too nervous to blink.
Mike snorted, then tried to compose himself, only to laugh again,
hiding behind the notebook he’d been writing in. “What? Is this a joke?
Have you seen yourself in the mirror, kid?”
Gunner stared back, not sure what to make of this. Yes, he’d glanced
in the mirror hundreds of times today, and he was super fucking cute. And
he hadn’t been called kid since his early teens. Caspian was twenty-three!
“No. And I know you’re gay, so I don’t see what your problem is.” It
came out more harshly than he’d wished, but while he looked very different
on the outside, this new body hadn’t changed his personality.
“There is a problem. You’d break in two if I poked you with a finger,
and you look like you’ve stolen those clothes from your younger brother.
Come back when you grow some muscle, and then maybe I’ll consider

taking another look at you,” Mike said, staring straight at Gunner, as if he
wanted to see him crushed.
The body that attracted such vicious words wasn’t even his, yet it still
stung. Clearly, just because he thought he was a cute twink, didn’t mean
everyone shared the sentiment.
Someone behind him snorted. “Won’t you even give his mouth a test
drive, Mike?”
Gunner’s lips parted in shock at the indignity of it all, but Mike
answered first.
“Nah, he wouldn’t fit it all in.”
Gunner squared his shoulders and turned to face the other guy. “The
fuck did you say?” As much as he enjoyed being compact, having to look
up to meet the bastard’s eyes doused him with a sense of humiliation.
He vaguely knew this guy but wasn’t sure of his name. Doherty?
Whatever Doherty’s actual name was, he wasn’t hesitant about
showing his true colors to someone weaker than him. “She’s a feisty one,
isn’t she? Is that a sock?” he asked, gesturing at Gunner’s crotch with a leer
that told him that perhaps this guy would have been up for giving Gunner a
go, were they alone. But only as long as no one found out.
Gunner wasn’t a blowjob vending machine.
Mike shook his head. “Get lost. Don’t proposition people in my store.
Gays like you give us all a bad name,” Mike said in a low voice, staring at
Gunner from under lowered brows.
Gunner opened his mouth, but someone grabbed his arm and pulled
him back. His first instinct was to lash out, so he swung his fist and hit
someone’s pec.
“Ow!” Noah scowled at him, and a lock of brown, coily hair fell into
his face as he took a step back. “I was just gonna ask if you’re okay…”

Mike spread his massive arms. “Psychoslut-boy is clearly fucked in
the head. Get him out of here!”
Gunner stilled, staring at his half-sibling with a growing sense of
doom. He’d been found out. His little brother, the only family Gunner still
had left, had seen him proposition another guy, and their relationship would
be ruined forever.
But all of Noah’s attention was on Mike as he stepped forward with a
flush darkening his tan skin, which made the lightning-shaped scars
spreading across his cheek appear even paler than they were. The terrible
accident that had drowned Gunner in crippling debt and tied him to
Snowman and the gang he worked for left scars all over Noah’s body, and
even on his face, but he seemed stronger and healthier than ever when he
stood in front of Gunner with both hands on his hips.
“This is really uncalled for. Give the guy a break!”
Only then it occurred to Gunner that to Noah he was just a stranger,
not the older brother he was meant to look up to.
Mike rolled his eyes. “You should take your break now. Maybe he’ll
suck your dick as a thank-you.”
Noah scowled and rubbed his wide, freckled nose. “See you in fifteen.
Let’s go, hm?” He pointed to the door, and Gunner took this opportunity to
exit, but there wasn’t much dignity to it.
He might still have his personality, but what was that good for when
he couldn’t challenge neither Doherty nor Mike? His pride was
deteriorating, and he questioned every fashion choice he’d made today.
“Thanks for butting in,” he mumbled as they left, his gaze stopping on
the store’s logo at the front of Noah’s T-shirt. Had he recently started
working for Mike?

Noah was such a good kid. He didn’t have to step in but had still
chosen to challenge his boss to help out a perfect stranger. The brown
freckles sprinkled across his nose and cheeks made Noah look very young,
but when he met Gunner’s gaze, walking him out of the store and into the
afternoon sun, he seemed so put together it made Gunner ashamed of his
own lewd actions.
Suddenly, he wanted to cover himself with something big and baggy,
straight from Caspian’s ugly wardrobe, but Noah made him sit on a bench
in front of a fountain close to the mall entrance and rested alongside him.
Even seated, the seventeen-year-old who usually reached up to Gunner’s
shoulder, was taller than him.
“I’m really sorry. They’re douchebags.”
“I can see. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Gunner hid his face in
his hands as dark thoughts swirled in his head, replacing the earlier cotton
candy. He’d been so preoccupied with presenting cute and getting his belly
full of pancakes that he forgot all about his responsibility to Noah.
With their father dead and Noah’s mom earning peanuts at her two
jobs, Gunner had been the one to take on the burden of paying for Noah’s
medical bills, and the physiotherapy that had brought him back into shape
and prevented him from having a limp for the rest of his life. The massive
sum Gunner had borrowed from Snowman and his boss paid for it all, but it
kept mounting up, and who would take care of it if not Gunner?
Who would make sure Noah had a chance for a better, more honest
life when the accident had already put him at a disadvantage financially and
with school? Caspian was too self-absorbed to continue paying off the debt
and would surely disappear on Noah and his mom, leaving them to deal
with the fallout.

Noah’s hand moved up and down Gunner’s back. “Don’t worry.
Mike’s super-hot but has the personality of a turd. You’re better off finding
someone else.”
Gunner’s self-flagellating thoughts came to a halt, and he looked up,
meeting his brother’s dark brown eyes.
Had Noah just complimented Mike Choi’s physique?
What?
“I just… I thought I had it in the bag. I don’t know what I was
thinking. I’m sorry. I’m wasting your break.” Gunner stared at the lilac
shoes he’d considered cute only an hour back yet now wasn’t so sure about.
Noah patted his shoulder and got up with a snort. “It’s okay. Plenty
more fish in the sea. I heard Grindr is where it’s at.” He winked at Gunner
and walked off, leaving him stunned.
How did his little brother know such things?
From Mike Choi, no doubt, but there was no point in focusing on that
when Gunner didn’t know how much time he still had in this new body.
Maybe he should listen to Noah and… take the plunge?
He decided to forget the hurtful words and ignore the intrusive
thoughts about whether his new style made him ridiculous or sexy in a
“gay” way, and stared at Caspian’s expensive phone. He’d seen Caspian’s
message exchanges on the hook-up app before, but now that he was
considering finding a partner for himself, he wasn’t sure how to approach
that daunting task. Taking new photos, ones that presented his real self,
should be a good start.
But all plans died in his mind when he entered Caspian’s profile on
the app and saw that the bastard had replaced the unknown hunk that had
featured there before with photos of… Gunner. Or himself. However that
worked now.

Gunner’s heart pounded as if it were trying to crash its way through
his ribcage. Swept up by growing panic, he was about to delete the photos
and change the password to block Caspian out of it, but an incoming
message made him freeze. He tapped it only to find a whole conversation
Caspian was having with some horny stranger, and it seemed they’d be
hooking up… right… about… now.
Gunner took a screenshot of the address, jumped to his feet and ran.
“Not in my fucking body!”

Chapter 8 - Caspian
Anticipation buzzed in Caspian’s veins as he sipped coffee in a booth
at the back of the diner. Unlike at the cafe he’d lost some of his warm
feelings for, in the dingy box of concrete, glass, and plastic everyone was
equally welcome as long as they paid for their orders. Not a single person
here piqued his interest, but he hadn’t come to eat or chat with the server.
He’d come here to get laid.
The box of condoms and lube, both of which he’d got at the nearby
gas station, burned through the pocket of his jeans like a constant reminder
that this was it—he’d finally have anal. His new tattooed face didn’t have as
many takers as the photo of the handsome blond guy Caspian had stolen off
the internet and used on Grindr since he’d first downloaded the app, but
following the confrontation at the café, he decided to be upfront about the
ink, because having someone run off would have been much worse than
getting fewer messages. Not to mention, less productive in the hook-up
department.
What counted was that he was about to hook up, and while he did
have stage fright, he kept telling himself that it didn’t matter if he fucked up
with a stranger. So what if he came too soon or made some other blunder?

He didn’t know the man he was about to fuck, so even if something didn’t
go according to plan, he could just forget it and move on.
It was safe.
Easy.
It would be fun.
“Here we go,” the server said with a smile and placed a juicy burger
in front of Caspian. He was so girly-looking with his painted eyelids and
small frame that Caspian had mistaken him for a woman at first, but his
chest was flat as the table, and his voice, while high in pitch, sounded male.
Caspian had gotten hungry. Again. He’d never considered how many
calories a body as big as this burned through, but at this rate, he’d be
spending everything he earned on food.
“Getting ready for a long drive?” Gale, the server, asked, which made
some sense considering how many trucks were parked close to the diner.
Caspian shrugged, smiling up at the guy as he dug in, eager to sate his
hunger before his hook-up called him over to the motel. He groaned in
pleasure as beef, chili jam, and peanut butter combined in his mouth. Yes,
he could finally have peanuts, and they were fucking glorious.
“No, I’m local. Are you sure we’ve never met?”
Gale snorted and tugged on his short blond hair. “I would have
remembered.”
Was he flirting? Caspian wasn’t very good at telling, but he could see
how this new body could attract attention. It was everything he wanted—
big, firm, tall, with ruggedly masculine features. Only the big face tattoo
spoiled the perfection of Caspian’s current form, because the other ink,
while not perfect, gave him that hot and dangerous vibe he was going for
without being too much.

The server wasn’t quite his type but maybe they could meet up some
other time? No reason to be overly choosy when Caspian didn’t know how
long he’d get to enjoy Gunner’s body.
“I would hope so. Will you give me your number?”
Gale bit his lip, shifted from side to side, then wrote down something
in his notepad and passed it to Gunner. “Enjoy your meal, and call me over
if you need anything.”
The piece of paper had Gale’s number written down along with ‘I
finish at 10pm’ and a heart. Living as Gunner was that easy. A wink. A
direct question, and—boom—he had a potential date set up for the night
while he hadn’t dared to approach guys until college, and his first sexual
experience was blowing a classmate at a drunken party. To this day, Caspian
wasn’t sure whether the guy really hadn’t remembered a thing or had
chosen to pretend it hadn’t happened. And even after that, Caspian
struggled to find hook-ups so much he didn’t bother to try dating. Clearly,
there were no takers for someone his size.
The ease with which he obtained someone’s phone number kept
niggling at the back of his head, and he couldn’t decide whether he was
glad or frustrated to see the insecurities that plagued him since puberty
proven true. So what if some guys passed on him because he looked
intimidating when others flocked to his muscles and ink like cats to a bowl
of fresh milk?
He used to be invisible, but now even the strangers sitting in the other
booths took notice of his presence, regarding him with respect and a drop of
suspicion. As if he were potentially dangerous.
And he liked that, no matter how humiliated he’d felt at the cafe.
Maybe one couldn’t have everything?

He wasn’t yet certain if he’d call Gale, but knowing he had the note in
his pocket was enough to ease some of the worries knotting his insides.
It would be fine. He was horny and ready to finally fuck a guy. What
was the worst that could happen? One had to start somewhere, and his
experience in giving and receiving blowjobs, while not extensive, proved
that one learned best in practice.
He finished his food and was still nursing the coffee when his phone
chimed, kick-starting his usual insecurities. He opened the message,
worried he’d find it full of excuses from the Grindr guy, but his hook-up
only wanted to let him know he awaited Caspian in room number fourteen
at the Karma Motel.
Heat shot to Caspian’s face, but this was his sink-or-swim moment,
and he wasn’t about to drop to the seabed before he emptied his balls.
He placed cash on the table, waved at Gale, and left the diner, facing
the expanse of the vast parking lot filled with trucks. The afternoon sun
colored the massive vehicles with gold, but it also shone straight into
Caspian’s eyes, so he lowered his gaze to the asphalt and breathed in
gasoline-scented air as he walked along a patch of dry grass separating the
truck stop from the road.
The motel, a three-story monstrosity of concrete, was easy to spot
from afar when the landscape was so flat, but he couldn’t have been more
excited even if he were to enter a luxurious hotel in Paris. He was about to
get laid. And for the first time it didn’t feel like being picked because there
was no one else around.
Number fourteen was on the first floor, and he could enter it straight
from the parking lot located between the arms of the horseshoe-shaped
building. Regardless of how hot he now was, the anxiety over this being his
first time to top remained a steady presence at the back of his mind. But he

was determined to go through with his plans and knocked on the wooden
door that had paint peeling off at the edges.
His hook-up opened right away, as if he were a dog waiting at the
door for its master to return home. The guy was average-looking, like a
semi-handsome accountant in his thirties, with short dark hair and a cleanshaven face. He was the kind of person whose features would have been
impossible to describe accurately, but Caspian already knew that he’d never
forget the first person he’d fuck. So what that he wasn’t Caspian’s type and
wore a white T-shirt with gray checkered shorts? His ass would feel as good
as that of the hot barista’s would have, were the kid not so stuck-up.
The stranger smiled and took a few steps back to make room for
Caspian. “Wow. You weren’t joking about six-foot-five.”
Caspian’s balls tightened, and he gave the man a little push, entering
the small room with only one window by the bathroom door. Curtains with
a vintage-style flower pattern blocked most of the daylight, but enough of it
seeped in to reveal a large bed and a collection of simple furniture. It was an
ugly, forgettable space that surely cost very little money, but it would serve
its purpose just fine.
The room smelled of cotton air freshener, as if someone had tried to
mask the odor of old carpets or mold, but Caspian didn’t care. He wasn’t
here to relax.
“Jordan, was it?”
The guy’s eyes widened, and his flush became a dark red. “Y-yeah.”
Yes, Jordan, you’re about to get the ride of your life. Caspian might
not have the physical experience, but he knew what he wanted, and for
once, his body wouldn’t stand in the way of his fantasies.
He might have never done this, but he’d researched what to do and
watched tons of porn. It would be fine.

No. It would be amazing.
When Caspian stepped closer, thinking was no longer necessary. He
caught the whiff of soap on the other man’s skin and took hold of his throat,
leaning in to smell his warm neck. Jordan gasped, and the way his Adam’s
apple bobbed under Caspian’s massive palm made Caspian’s underwear feel
tighter, just like it had when he’d held Gunner down that morning. So
maybe it was fucked up that he found promises of violence a turn-on, but he
refused to feel guilty about it after years of living as the underdog everyone
overlooked.
Not anymore. Jordan’s breath trembled as he slid his hand across
Caspian’s pecs, and his eyes clouded with admiration for the hunk he
wanted to submit to. At very long last, Caspian was right where he was
supposed to be, in the skin he deserved, following the needs he’d ignored
for most of his life. This was his moment.
“I’m going to bend you over that bed. And I’m going to make you
beg for my dick,” he uttered, tightening his hand on Jordan’s throat as they
gravitated through the dusky room, toward the place where Caspian would
become the man he’d always wanted to be.
Jordan’s consent was a broken mewl, but as he touched Caspian’s
groin, a rapping at the door startled them both before they could have made
it to the bed.
Caspian looked over the shoulder, but he wasn’t expecting anyone,
and Jordan wouldn’t have invited any friends without asking him first, so he
pushed his hand under Jordan’s top and pawed at his to-be lover’s smoothly
shaven chest. A jolt of arousal made his toes curl when he buried his face in
the hot neck, but the knocking wouldn’t stop, intent on breaking them apart.
This couldn’t be Jordan’s wife, or girlfriend, or something, could it?

“I know you’re fucking in there!” said a high-pitched, but male,
voice. “I do not agree to this!”
Jordan offered Caspian a confused stare. “Mistake?”
But Caspian froze when he realized how familiar the voice was, even
though it always sounded slightly different when he was the one using that
same mouth.
It couldn’t be.
He couldn’t have come here!
“Go away!” he roared and spun around, banging his fist against the
door. That did shut up Gunner, but his silence only lasted for a second.
“You want me to make a scene? I can make a fucking scene! That’s
my dick, my body, and my face!” He started kicking the door so hard it
rattled.
Jordan stepped back, and his face fell as he adjusted his clothes. “Err,
sorry, I don’t want any boyfriend drama.”
“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s—” To make his point, Caspian moved
his hand to the side of his head and made a cuckoo sound.
He couldn’t fucking believe this. Jordan had been so pliant and ready,
yet now he smiled in an awkward, apologetic way and went for the door as
soon as he was dressed.
“Let me know when you work it out. I really wanna try this again.”
“Open the fucking door, or I’m gonna break it down!” Gunner yelled
as if he still had a body that could break anything sturdier than thin
plywood.
And as if Gunner wasn’t being pathetic enough, Jordan opened the
door at the very moment the little shrimp chose to throw himself at it, and
he fell inside, straight to the dusty carpet.

Confusion stopped Caspian from lashing out at the nosy fucker when
he realized that the person picking themselves up from the floor did not
match the voice he’d heard. Where there should have been brown hair, was
a pale blond mane, and the garishly colorful, tight clothes revealing how
tiny the intruder’s frame was didn’t resemble a single piece Caspian owned.
But when the guy looked up, Caspian saw the soft features he’d been stuck
with until today.
Caspian’s ears were drumming so loudly he couldn’t hear anything
beyond the echo of his heartbeat.
“Is that a piercing?” he uttered and grabbed Gunner by the nape to
better see the crystal glinting in Gunner’s ear.
“So… bye, we’ll be in touch,” Jordan said and shut the door behind
him before Caspian could have said a thing.
Maybe it was for the better that he left. If Caspian murdered Gunner
and permanently took over his body, there would be no witnesses.
“What—what the fuck have you done to me?” Caspian uttered,
pulling Gunner up to his feet in a single yank.
He made a ridiculous picture in clothes that seemed to have shrunk in
the washing machine, and with the ear stud, but the platinum blond hair he
was sporting weirdly complimented Caspian’s face, which bore an
unfamiliar expression.
This was the ugly scowl that had twisted Gunner’s mouth when he’d
yanked Caspian’s backpack off in high school, or pushed him into the
swimming pool. Only that it looked much less threatening on the gentle
features of Caspian’s own face.
Almost cute.
Gunner frowned and glanced all the way down to the lilac high-tops
he wore instead of normal shoes. “I made you presentable, so you look your

age, not like a middle-aged accountant.”
Caspian tightened his hands on Gunner’s shoulders—or were they
his? He wasn’t sure anymore—and frowned at him. “Those tight-fitting
clothes. That hair… are you trying to hook up with guys? Are you gay?”
For a moment of hesitation Gunner seemed so lost Caspian almost
patted the fucker’s shoulder in support, but Gunner was right back to his
shitty attitude. “N-No! But you are, so I just… like… I had to go with the
flow. Your friend Alex helped me pick it all out, and he knows you, so it’s
for you.”
Caspian’s mind came to a halt before exploding with rage so hot
Gunner might find himself burnt. “Alex is not my friend! He made you
wear that? And dye your hair?” he asked, tugging on a fluffy strand so hard
Gunner flinched.
He slapped Caspian’s hand away as if he weren’t a tiny pup barking at
a Doberman. “I chose it all, because it’s cute. Alex just gave me the
confidence to do it.”
Caspian stalled, because when Gunner glared at him that was exactly
how he looked.
Cute.
Adorable in his anger.
“Yeah? That’s what you wanted? To show off your ass like this?” he
whispered, mouth dry as he slapped Gunner’s buttock and saw it jiggle in
the elongated mirror on the wall.
Gunner’s face went aflame, and the pink flush only made his eyes
bluer. Had they always been so bright, or was the pale hair bringing out
their color? “Hey! It’s not for you to touch, you… big gay!” Gunner choked
out and pushed at Caspian’s chest, but he could as well have been a kitten
trying to pounce on its mom.

Caspian shoved him at the wall, his nerves stretched thin in
anticipation, and he grabbed the slim neck to make sure Gunner understood
his place in the food chain. “No? It’s my body. My ass. My mouth,” he
whispered, standing right in front of Gunner. His head was boiling. He
could hardly think, but when Gunner looked up, his pink lips open, Caspian
pushed in his thumb and pressed down on the soft, wet tongue.
His dick twitched.
It was fucked up. Insane.
But he couldn’t make himself pull away.
The pink of Gunner’s face turned into a bright red, and it hit Caspian
how fuckable he was in comparison to an average Joe like Jordan. The big
blue eyes betrayed tension, but instead of biting Caspian’s finger and
running to safety, Gunner stood still like Caspian’s twinky wet dream and
stared back.
There had to be a reason for this crazy body swap, so what if the
universe had realized it made a mistake and put them back in the bodies
they should have been born in? If Caspian was now a buff giant with a big
dick, maybe Gunner was a gay little bottom, and his outside finally matched
his inside? Why else would he have chosen to dress like the hotties Caspian
watched on social media?
“You chased off my hook-up. I think you should pay up,” Caspian
whispered, shocked yet increasingly aroused by the blurry gaze Gunner met
his with. So maybe it was fucked up to lust after his own body this way, but
it no longer felt his. Gunner wore it differently, as if it were a shabby jacket
he’d found in the thrift store and upcycled with sequins.
He said nothing, and his passivity only fueled Caspian’s fire. He
moved his thumb in and out of that warm mouth. Gunner raised his

eyebrows and pointed to his chest with a question. Oh, the things Caspian
could do to that slim body…
“Yes, you little slut,” Caspian said, so hot the air coming from his lips
felt like smoke. He grabbed Gunner’s hand and pressed it to his crotch,
gasping when his dick twitched in response to the touch.
Gunner melted against the wall, and the tight bright top clung to
hardening nipples. He lowered his gaze, as if he were shy, but his soft lips
tightened around Caspian’s digit, and… he sucked on it before squeezing
Caspian’s growing package with a bit more boldness.
Gunner Russo was gay.
A revelation that made Caspian both giddy and horny for so many
different reasons.
“All this time, you’ve been hiding in plain sight. You’ve been after
me and called me slurs, and you’re gay yourself?” Caspian asked, pressing
his thumb to the flesh under Gunner’s tongue and pulling him along as if his
finger were a hook lodged in flesh.
His brain was turning into mush. Hatred, anger, and lust spun
together, creating an intoxicating concoction that made his balls throb in
equal measure to his fists. The need to dominate this man was so primal that
bending him over felt like the only logical choice to make.
Gunner mumbled something, but with Caspian’s finger in the way, it
came out unintelligibly. Since it sounded like excuses, Caspian didn’t care
to listen and held Gunner by the jaw even as the slim fingers wrapped
around his wrist. He’d show Gunner Russo what it felt like to be small,
powerless, and forced into submission.
The clothes that would have seemed so alien, so wrong for Caspian
emphasized how available Gunner was. And to think that all this time he’d
kept the girlfriend as a beard and fucked around in secret.

Caspian shoved Gunner onto the bed the moment they reached it,
already kicking off his shoes and climbing after him. His gaze licked up the
line of Gunner’s ass, which the tight jeans showed off so perfectly. So
shamelessly. He slapped it hard. “Take off your top.”
He sounded raspy.
Sexy.
Like he’d always wanted to.
His hand was so big when compared to the pert backside, and he
couldn’t look away from this proof of his dominance, so aroused it was
making his vision blurry. He could snap this guy in two, but chose to fuck
him instead.
Gunner glanced from side to side, and some of the blond stands fell
into his face. “Are you sure you w-wanna—?” he asked, but was taking off
his shoes.
That was it. He didn’t want to wait any longer.
Caspian ground his hips against Gunner’s ass and reached to his front,
pulling at the T-shirt. The bright fabric clung to the flushed face, but once it
was peeled over his head and remained only on his back and shoulders,
Caspian twisted the top to secure the slender arms covered with a dusting of
hair. Gunner made a small, soft sound but didn’t fight him, and even tilted
his hips so Caspian’s groin rubbed against the balls trapped in tight denim.
Regardless of the fake hesitation, the dirty boy wanted this as much as
Caspian.
“Yes. You have to pay for what you’ve done. And all those tight
clothes you’re wearing gave me just the idea.”
When Caspian pushed Gunner’s knees apart to make room for
himself, the slender back arched when Gunner hid his face in the pillow.
Which was for the better, because this way Caspian wouldn’t have to

confront who he was about to fuck. The blond hair, the clothes, and the
submissive way Gunner acted would be enough to hide the strange truth.
Because if destiny chose to give Caspian this big, strong body to play
around in for a while in an act of cosmic justice, he would not turn his back
on what he’d been offered.
He grasped Gunner’s hip with the big, tattooed hand the size of
Gunner’s buttock, and even though he hadn’t been the one to choose the ink
covering his arms, he’d never felt more comfortable in his body. For once,
it was Caspian who called the shots.
He was the man. And he’d conquer the body trembling under his
touch.
Without thinking twice, he stretched over Gunner and bit into his
shoulder blade. The soft gasp muffled by the pillow set him on fire, and he
reached to his belt, fumbling with it as he tasted smooth skin, rolling the
flesh between his teeth and then teasing the shallow bite marks with his
tongue.
“I should have known this was what you wanted all along. You hard
yet, Russo? Hard for a cock deep inside you?” He slid one hand between
Gunner’s legs to find an erection. When Gunner wiggled, releasing a little
moan, his ass pressed against Caspian’s cock, as if he were trying to tease
the shark floating in the water with him, not escape.
His belt fell open, and he yanked it out of the loops, rocking his
painfully stiff prick against Gunner. The worn leather went around the
slender wrists, tying them together, and only once Caspian was certain his
lover would stay put did he free his own erection. Cool air felt like a pinch
on heated skin, but he ignored it and opened the skin-tight jeans keeping
him from seeing Gunner’s goods.

He no longer could think of all that smooth skin as his own, and
eagerly peeled the denim off the waiting ass, exposing tight boxer shorts
made of neon-blue fabric with a print of pizza slices.
His mouth watered. His brain buzzed, and all of a sudden he was
starved enough to bite off a chunk of flesh through the underwear and then
drag the flimsy piece of clothing with his teeth.
“I’m gonna make you my bitch, and you’re gonna love it,” he
whispered against the gooseflesh on Gunner’s naked buttock.
There was so much to love about a small frame and smooth skin. As
long as it wasn’t his. But fate fixed its mistake today, and he could be the
stud he’d always wanted to be. A man allowed to do whatever he wanted
with the pliant body shivering under him.
He plucked the lube and condoms out of his pocket and went straight
for the virgin hole winking at him when Gunner hugged the pillow and
tilted his hips a bit more. One touch was enough, and Gunner raised his feet
with toes curled in pleasure. He looked so obscene with pants and boxers
lowered just enough to expose his ass yet still hiding the balls and cock in
shadow.
He was everything Caspian had always wanted in a hook-up, and as
his slickened finger dove into the tight channel, discovering how hot it was,
his thoughts caught fire and filled his head with fragrant smoke.
“Did you not hear me? What are you?” he asked and slapped
Gunner’s buttock, leaving a pink impression of his massive hand.
Gunner yelped and peeked over his shoulder with wide blue eyes
partially covered by the blond hair. The dissonance of seeing so much
beauty in the body he’d always judged made Caspian stall, but the choked
words coming out of Gunner’s mouth brought him back to life.
“I’m your bitch,” he whispered.

“Hell yes, you are. That’s why you’re gonna take my cock,” Caspian
rasped, slamming his knuckles against the hole as his entire middle finger
went in. He was surprised to discover that the channel wasn’t snug and
smooth all the way in, and licked his lips, probing at the flesh beyond the
sleeve of tight muscle. He couldn’t believe this was happening. That he was
about to not only fuck a guy for the first time but also do it with someone so
damn pretty.
If he could have been certain of Gunner’s health status, he’d have
ditched the rubbers, no questions asked, because just thinking about filling
up this lovely ass with his cream and marking his territory had him
shivering in anticipation.
God, he couldn’t wait much longer!
“Oh yeah? I’ll screw you so wide open with my big dick,” he gasped
and slapped his tool against the same buttock that still bore the mark of his
palm. The slender arms tied with the shirt and belt were the picture of
submission, and the ragged noise of Gunner breathing into the pillow made
Caspian’s heart pound in his chest like a machine. He was no longer a twig
of a boy but a beast to be feared.
“Yes. Fuck me,” Gunner uttered and spread the trembling thighs
wider while his little hole tightened around Caspian’s finger in a promise of
what it would soon do to his dick.
His cock had a mind of its own and wanted to dive in already, but
Caspian would do it right and distracted himself by counting flowers on the
curtains as his fingers stretched the tight hole until Gunner no longer
tightened up.
But once he decided that this delicious ass, framed by lowered
underwear and a leather belt holding still a pair of wrists, was ready, he
pulled on the condom, and pushed his dick at Gunner’s hole. The muscle

didn’t give in right away, and the entrance dipped under pressure, which
only aroused him more.
“Yes. Fuck. Take it.”
The little moans and mewls Gunner uttered were ambrosia to his ears,
but he could barely think straight when the tight ring of muscle relaxed
enough to accept his cockhead. Having a man under him like this had
always been an unfulfilled fantasy of Caspian’s, and he held his breath,
watching the rigid length sink between pale buttocks, one of which was still
flushed from the single strike. He hoped the faint hand imprint would mark
Gunner as his forever, and while this was in no way a rational wish, he still
indulged in the fantasy of owning this boy.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Gunner uttered, rolling his face over the pillow
as sweat beaded on his back. He was tense but didn’t try to pull away when
Caspian took hold of his narrow hips and made shallow thrusts, pushing
farther past his partner’s resistance each time. Gunner’s channel felt like a
vice made of hot silk, but Caspian didn’t want to finish yet and alternated
between staring at the glorious flesh under him and closing his eyes to let
excitement dim just enough that he could continue.
He felt like Alexander the Great conquering Persia.
Begging for more dick with each movement of his hips, Gunner
seemed to relax. His fingers kept twitching and squeezing the brown leather
tightened around his wrists, and if it were doable, Caspian would have
loved to nip and suck on each digit as he jackhammered the tight ass.
“Too much for you, virgin boy? Too bad you no longer have a
choice,” he whispered, moaning when his cock went in farther and finally
bottomed out. “You’re mine until you milk my cock, get it?”
Gunner gave a frantic nod, and squeezed his ass on Caspian’s cock
without even being prompted. “Yes. Please, use me.”

Never before did Caspian have such ultimate control of anyone. The
boy under him voiced his submission with every little moan, and Caspian
could’ve gotten high on the sounds alone. It didn’t matter which body was
whose and why. He, Caspian, was on top and giving his lover cock while
being encouraged to fuck harder.
He’d never been this wanted, this desired, and the feeling was already
sinking its teeth into his flesh. He wanted to always feel like this.
“Yeah? Gunner Russo loves my cock up his slutty ass?” he uttered,
squeezing his hands on Gunner’s waist as he entered him ever faster.
The other body no longer resisted, and his dick moved in and out
freely, a fat baton stabbing into the soft, warm hole over and over. As he
picked up his pace, Gunner’s buttocks shook every time Caspian slammed
home, his entire body yielding to the force behind Caspian’s thrusts. The
moans escaping Gunner’s lips went straight to Caspian’s balls, so every
now and then, he gave Gunner a little slap on the ass just to get a reaction.
But what aroused him most was feeling the difference between their
bodies, so he dropped to all fours, locking the smaller man under him and
fucking Gunner like the bitch he was. He even grabbed his throat for good
measure, loving how the pulse quickened under his touch.
“That’s it, you’ll be riding my cock every day until I’m done with
you,” Caspian growled and bit on Gunner’s nape like a wolf pinning his
prey.
Gunner’s moan sounded like a confirmation, but Caspian wanted to
see proof and sat back on his heels taking his boy with him so they both
kneeled, with Gunner sitting in Caspian’s lap.
Blue eyes peeked at him from a flushed face, hazy as if Gunner were
drunk on the thick dick drilling his ass. Caspian pushed two fingers into the

soft mouth and shivered when the boy sucked on them right away, greedy
for more. Harder. Faster.
“Go on. Milk me. You better hope that condom doesn’t break, slut, or
you’ll be leaking cum all the way home,” Caspian growled and rolled his
teeth over the exposed throat.
When Gunner started pumping his cute round ass against Caspian’s
groin, heaven opened above them. What was supposed to be a hate fuck, a
way to get off and punish Gunner at the same time, was turning into an
addictive feast for all senses. He’d wanted sex before, but until now he’d
had no idea just how hungry he’d been for this exact meal.
Gunner rolled his narrow hips at a quick pace, legs spread wide to
accommodate Caspian’s thighs, rising and falling as if his life depended on
it, and he sucked on Caspian’s fingers while mumbling something. He
squeezed the tight channel of muscles as if the only thing that mattered now
was Caspian’s pleasure.
When the tied hands pressed to the bare flesh of Caspian’s stomach,
he was lost.
Pleasure buzzed at the base of his spine before jolting up and down
his body as he pushed his hips up, thrusting into Gunner until his balls
emptied. The world spun, and he already knew that he needed to buy the
very same brand of cotton-scented air freshener that hung in the air, so it
would always remind him of this moment.
Spent, he pulled Gunner close and dove his hand down the slender
body, capturing the hard cock and pumping it at a merciless pace.
Gunner’s mouth was free again to make those painfully arousing
noises, but those didn’t last long. He cried out, and hot spunk covered
Caspian’s fist like the physical manifestation of pleasure leaving his body.

The tight hole started throbbing with heat around Caspian’s cock as if it
didn’t want to let go yet.
Caspian could well have been called Zeus, because he felt like a god
when he lazily lapped at the bite mark he’d left on Gunner’s shoulder. As he
pushed the boy forward, and the warm ass slid off Caspian’s softening dick,
he found himself staring at the hole, which now shone with lube.
“Fuck… that was—” Hot. So very hot. The hottest thing on the
planet.
But instead of the horny promises he was expecting, Caspian heard a
sob. His brain stilled. His bones turned into ice, and the lingering arousal
into confusion. Hadn’t Gunner come while asking for more?
The boy curled up, rolling his face into the pillow, and Caspian stared
at him as horror took root in his flesh and chased away the pride he’d felt
moments ago.
He did hate Gunner. Always had. But he’d also wanted to excite him
and fuck him more thoroughly than any man before. This was supposed to
be his moment of triumph.
Uncertain, Caspian touched Gunner’s side with the back of his hand.
“I… are you hurt?”
“N-no, just take this off,” Gunner said between one sob and another,
hiding his face, but awkwardly holding out his bound wrists to Caspian.
Caspian’s head throbbed with static as he released Gunner from the
belt and T-shirt. Had he done something wrong? The sight of tears
streaming down the reddened face didn’t give him the rush of power they’d
had in the morning. His sexual fantasies could get a bit violent, but not
because he wanted to hurt anyone. Even Gunner.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he tried in a softer voice as he watched
Gunner pull up his pants and hide the flesh still marked by Caspian’s slaps.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just—never with a man—” Gunner looked around
the floor, as if searching for something, but got up while Caspian was still
processing what he’d just heard.
“But you’re gay. And had this hot body.” He pointed to his chest, not
bothered to zip up, but he did throw away the condom.
Gunner ran his fingers through the blond hair, and Caspian once again
marveled at how it suited his blue eyes. “I’ll… see you around,” Gunner
mumbled, and Caspian frowned in shock, but Gunner opened the door and
bolted.
Barefoot. In only his jeans.
No.
This wasn’t over!

Chapter 9 - Gunner
Gunner collided with the door and fumbled with the broken handle,
his mind screaming that the predator who’d just sampled him was about to
bite in again. He managed to open the motel room and stumbled outside
when his stomach twisted in discomfort. The sun was still up and shone
straight into his eyes as he ran into the parking lot, trying not to think about
the forbidden thing he’d done. And with Caspian of all people.
What the hell was wrong with him?
Had the lack of opportunity really been the only reason stopping him
from having sex with a man before? Impossible. This body must have been
what made him lose all inhibition. Just like he couldn’t control his new
eyes, and they kept leaking tears when his real body seemed to be made of
stone.
He didn’t know where he was going, he was barefoot, and had left his
phone in the room, but none of it mattered. The urge to run was too great to
ignore. He needed to escape what he’d done.
Gunner hadn’t just let Caspian fuck him. He’d ridden the guy’s dick.
Said he was Caspian’s bitch.
And the worst thing was that in the moment, he hadn’t cared about
what all of it meant, too lost in pleasure of those massive hands holding him

down and dirty whispers in his ear. He’d let Caspian show him his place
using Gunner’s own flesh against him!
And he’d gone with it like a cheap whore. He wasn’t normal. None of
this was normal.
He wanted to disappear.
A loud honk tore through the air, and Gunner looked left in time to
see wide eyes staring at him from behind a windshield. The car came to an
abrupt stop, but its hood still pushed at Gunner’s hip. With his head
spinning and legs far from stable, he didn’t manage to remain standing and
fell onto the asphalt.
Caspian—in Gunner’s old body—slammed both his hands on the roof
of the car, his neck and face blooming with a dark flush. “Are you fucking
blind?” he roared in a low voice that sounded as if it had come from a rusty
pipe. “You just hit him! If there’s a single bruise on that boy, I’ll find you,
and I’ll break your neck!”
Gunner got up on shaky legs, unsure what to say, but just as he turned
around and was about to run into oblivion, Caspian grabbed him from
behind and threw him over his shoulder as if he weighed nothing.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he whispered, and the vicious tone in
his voice prompted Gunner to curl his toes. Was this how he sounded to
others? Like a lion purring at his mate? That did explain why so many girls
leaned closer when he spoke to them and why Sandy stuck around.
The guy in the car didn’t even care to shout anything back and drove
off with a squeal of tires.
Gunner’s head throbbed with questions he had no way of answering.
“I… We don’t have to talk about it!” He wiggled in the hold, but it was like
steel. He shouldn’t have been surprised. He knew his body was strong. He’d

worked all his life to make it so, and still, to be on the receiving end of that
force was both thrilling and terrifying.
“We absolutely do,” Caspian said and carried him toward the open
door to their motel room as if Gunner were weightless. But as the asphalt
and trash littering the parking lot passed under Gunner, it occurred to him
that his hole felt damp, and a bit sore, and that he needed to be alone.
Process everything that happened and clean up without anyone staring at
him. Especially not Caspian.
But shock kept him quiet and clutching to the other man’s massive
form.
“Hey, where are you taking him?”
Caspian spun around, and when Gunner crooked his neck, he saw a
woman staring at them with a stern expression. And while Gunner saw her
upside-down, he recognized the body language of someone ready to run. Or
call the cops.
He wanted neither to happen. This was between him and Caspian.
Their situation was fucked up enough without the interference of an
outsider.
“It’s okay,” he laughed nervously. “Just a game we play.”
The woman’s shoulders relaxed, and she took a step back, adjusting a
large weekend bag on her shoulder. “If you say so—”
She let her gaze linger on Gunner, as if offering him another chance to
ask for help, but Gunner’s indecision was put to rest when Caspian gave
him a slap on the ass—a call-back to the glorious moments from fifteen
minutes ago when Gunner’s skin had burned with blows much harder than
this one.
“You’re coming with me, boy. Brace yourself,” Caspian said so
loudly it could only be for the benefit of strangers, and Gunner found

himself cooking on the inside.
Caspian put him down once the door was locked behind them, and
Gunner’s stomach cramped at the discomfort of the upcoming conversation,
because he didn’t want to have it. He’d never even told anyone of his gay
feelings, and had only tried to get together with Mike because it couldn’t be
traced back to him once he returned to his own body, and he’d somehow
ended up submitting to the one person who knew the truth.
He’d let a man fuck him. Call him slut. Slap his ass.
And he’d begged for it.
He covered his face with both hands and kept them there when
Caspian grabbed his forearms and steered him back until Gunner’s calves
hit the bed. With hope leaking out of him like air from a slashed tire,
Gunner sat down, resigned to his fate. He parted his fingers enough to
glance at Caspian.
But instead of rolling him over for another round, Caspian took a
cautious step back and crossed his arms on his chest, just staring. Gunner
wasn’t used to being in the presence of someone who could overpower him
with such ease, and he couldn’t help but peek at the massive tattooed pecs
that, unbelievably, still felt like a part of him. He’d chosen that ink to look
dangerous, to intimidate, and it was working even though he knew it was
Caspian Brady on the inside.
The silent scrutiny felt like a hand tightening around Gunner’s throat,
and he wished for his body to cave in on itself, so he didn’t have to confront
the reality of what happened. But there was only so long the truth could be
avoided, because Caspian knew all about Gunner’s shame.
“I don’t know how to do this, okay? I don’t know how to be gay!” he
choked out breathlessly. “I can’t blame it on your body, since you’re in

mine, and you’ve clearly got a mind of your own. So I guess this is me. A
faggy fag.” He sobbed, too overwhelmed to fight it.
“Jesus, don’t say that,” Caspian muttered and dragged over an old
chair, which he sat in back-to-front. He even put on his T-shirt as if they
needed decency all of a sudden. He then speared Gunner with an inquisitive
gaze that didn’t belong on the boorish face. It was so strange to see
someone else behind features Gunner had seen in the mirror all his life. Not
just because he wasn’t the one inside there, but because Caspian’s body
language and expressions were so different to his own that they transformed
the familiar physique into something unknown.
Gunner spread his arms, helpless against the interrogating gaze.
“Well, it’s true. I just let you drill me like I didn’t have a brain anymore.
And now I’m crying about it like a wuss! Can I just stop fucking crying?”
He grabbed a tissue from the side of the bed and rubbed off the tears that
kept coming.
Caspian remained silent, his thick, handsome brows lowering, as if he
were taking his time to think over what Gunner said. “Is that something you
wanted? You know… before?” he asked, and while the question was
intrusive, there wasn’t even a hint of a mocking smile tugging at the corners
of his mouth.
Gunner needed to take a deep breath to stop his teeth from clattering.
There was no point in lying, was there? “Y-yes. But I’ve never done it. And
then you put your hand on my throat, like you owned me, and I fucking lost
it.”
Caspian cleared his throat and moved in the chair, as if he were
attempting to lessen the pressure of fabric on his crotch. Was this awkward
conversation turning him on?

“That’s okay. People have all kinds of fantasies. Maybe you just felt
free to go with what you wanted because… you’re not yourself? Does that
make sense?”
Gunner gave a weak nod, because just like he’d felt more confident
about drinking a girly drink in public in this new body, the desire to submit
no longer felt as jarring as it had in his own hulking form. He took a
moment to assess this new situation and looked down at his curled toes.
Even his feet were cute now—narrow and nearly hairless. “I guess. Those
things are just… not something I should even consider.”
“Why?”
Gunner groaned in frustration. Why did he have to explain this?
“‘Cause you don’t get any respect if you are that way. You’ve got no idea
about my life, so please make sure to keep your needs on the down low
while you’re in my body.” Though it seemed that Caspian’s needs were
exactly what Gunner’s body was made for.
Caspian shifted, as if Gunner’s response made him uncomfortable. He
embraced the back of the chair and rested his chin on the wood. “I used to
be out in college, but no one in this town knows. No one needs to know
what we do in bed, right?” he asked, and his brown gaze pinned Gunner
down, as if he were an insect on a board, not yet dead but already knowing
its fate.
Heat climbed Gunner’s neck when their eyes met. Was Caspian
suggesting they’d fuck again? Gunner’s stomach clenched at the memory of
being under all that bulk, his hands twitching in bondage while a thick cock
pounded him like a jackhammer.
“You’d want that? Just until we err… work out what happened…”
Gunner’s heart started rattling the moment he realized that he could finally
explore the desires he’d kept secret all his life. Temptation was being

handed to him on a silver platter, and he suddenly wished to be much closer
to the man who’d taken him with such ferocity.
Caspian stretched and cleared his throat before meeting his gaze. “It
makes sense, doesn’t it? You want to explore your fantasies, and I want to
—enjoy having this body,” he said, pointing to his chest as he rose,
towering over Gunner even from two steps away.
When Gunner hadn’t managed to produce a sound, Caspian sat next
to him on the bed, legs spread so his knee poked Gunner’s. How strange
was it that he was aroused by his own body when it wasn’t his anymore?
Had it been this sex or masturbation?
“And… no hook-ups with other people,” Gunner muttered, daring to
run his fingers over Caspian’s sturdy thigh. “We’ve got reputations and
stuff.”
A scowl passed through Caspian’s face, but after a tense second, he
offered Gunner his hand. “But I’m seriously horny. You need to be around
if we’re not gonna see other people.”
Gunner squeezed the massive fingers as if they were his lifeline. It
felt so strange to shake on something and feel so small when compared to
the other guy. The fingers touching his were thick, and rough, and so very
hot to the touch. And he liked it. Being small. Being weaker. Being the
object of another man’s lust.
“Yeah. We’ll make it work. I know what you’re talking about. Like if
you don’t get your dick sucked, you might just punch someone.”
Caspian broke into a chuckle and leaned closer, bumping his head
against Gunner’s with a smile so friendly it transformed the familiar
features into those of a stranger. A very handsome one at that. “Yes. Very
much yes. How do you deal with this?”

Gunner’s heart fluttered. “I guess I’m just angry very often. I box—
but also… Have you met Sandy?”
Caspian groaned. “Right. Your girlfriend.”
“No, she’s… I mean she was my girlfriend. We’re kinda on-off. Like,
mostly off, but I let her stay at mine. Don’t know how to get rid of her.”
“So I can kick her out?”
Gunner shook his head. “You can try. I haven’t succeeded. She always
turns it around somehow. Point is, sometimes, if I got really horny, it
worked with her. But never really, you know?”
Caspian nuzzled the bridge of Gunner’s nose. “Because you’re gay.”
Gunner swallowed. “Yeah. Probably. Only one way to check, right?
Can I kiss you? Or is that too weird?”
Caspian licked his lips, and his hand moved over the mattress to rest
behind Gunner. “I might have gone about this the wrong way. And I might
not be the uber-gay you always thought I was, but I do have some
experience. I could teach you,” he said and moved his finger up Gunner’s
throat, eventually pulling on his chin as he leaned in and pressed his lips to
Gunner’s.
Gunner had kissed quite a few women in his life. Mostly when drunk
at parties, but this couldn’t have been more different. This was the kiss he
wanted. He closed his eyes and in this body, with this man, didn’t feel the
pressure to take over. He didn’t know what was expected of him, and
instead of stressing out about it, he embraced being passive and let Caspian
guide him.
The arm behind him pressed closer, providing support to his back, and
Caspian’s other hand moved to his neck, so very warm as it squeezed his
throat. Caspian opened Gunner’s lips and teased them with the tip of his
tongue.

A giddy smile spread Gunner’s mouth as he let it happen. For once,
he didn’t have to make decisions and call the shots. He was free to go with
the flow and that gave him the confidence to kiss back. He let his fingertips
travel up the large forearm of the man who’d already fucked him once and
would do it again.
It gave him such a thrill to know this for certain, and when Caspian
nipped on his lips, pulling away, Gunner leaned in, trying to capture that
stubborn mouth. Caspian grinned at him.
“Say it.”
Gunner had a vague feeling he knew what this was about, but feigned
obliviousness. “Say what?” He attempted to distract Caspian by sliding his
hand between his legs, but it wasn’t as effective as he’d hoped, and Caspian
grabbed his jaw, forcing Gunner to meet his gaze.
“Say that you’re my bitch,” he whispered with a wolfish smile, and
the raspiness of his voice sent a shiver all the way to Gunner’s cock.
It would have been easier after a few colorful shots, but Gunner still
did as told, because Caspian’s confidence was too hot to resist. “I’m your
bitch,” he whispered and cupped Caspian’s package, elated at being allowed
to do such a thing.
This time, the distraction worked, but was it really a distraction at that
point? Caspian let out a soft gasp and covered Gunner’s cute palm with his
paw while rocking his hips up. “This is lesson number one, bitch. Undress
me,” he whispered, pulling Gunner’s hand to the hem of his shirt.
Gunner shouldn’t enjoy being humiliated with words, nor serving
another man, yet here they were. For as long as this craziness lasted, he
would be bold and take life by the balls.
Drunk on the freedom to touch another man, he climbed into
Caspian’s lap and pulled up his T-shirt, amazed by the powerful chest and

arms as if they hadn’t been his own only yesterday. He would often worry
whether he shouldn’t bulk up more, but seen from the perspective of
someone else, his old body was huge and oozed danger out of every line of
ink. Gunner trailed his fingers over the tense stomach, and couldn’t help but
feel a prickle of arousal at the scent of sweat that had seeped into the T-shirt
Caspian had worn during their first fuck.
“Do you like it? Touching a man?” Caspian asked, resting his fingers
on Gunner’s hips but not yet moving them anywhere else, even though the
chub in his pants made his excitement obvious.
Gunner nodded and put one of his arms around Caspian’s shoulders as
he unzipped Caspian’s pants with the other hand. “I’m fucking
overheating,” he rasped. “It’s not too weird, right? I look at you, and I don’t
see… myself, you know?”
“So weird. But me neither. You’re—” Caspian licked his lips and
pushed his thumbs up Gunner’s chest. “The blond really suits you,” he said,
rolling his hips up to rub his underwear against Gunner’s hand. How had
this much confidence hidden in the tiny frame Gunner now lived in?
He sighed with relief. “Yeah? ‘Cause I thought it was cute. And then
you said Alex isn’t your friend, and I was like… fuuuck!” He leaned in for a
quick kiss, just because he could.
Caspian growled but didn’t push Gunner away and lifted his hips so
Gunner could pull the jeans off. “He’s Judas incarnate. A real snake. But
dealing with him will be on my agenda,” he said, almost as if it excited him
as much as the touching. The desire for revenge looked so sexy on those
stern features, wrinkling the broad nose and twisting the lips that had called
Gunner such derogatory things.
Gunner sniggered at the unfamiliar words. He hopped off Caspian’s
lap to take his pants off with more ease. There, he’d undress him and be his

bitch.
The ugly word floated in his head like fizzing candy—sweet, sour,
and provoking constant excitement as he rolled his hands down Caspian’s
thighs and watched him like a good boy.
“Are your parents immigrants? They say shit in strange languages
too.” His eyes glided over the thick package, and he curled his toes at the
memory of that dick sliding up and down his crack. He could still feel the
burn it left behind. And now he wished to make the discomfort even more
aggravating.
Caspian didn’t answer right away, but he rolled his knuckles down
Gunner’s cheek in an unusually affectionate gesture. “It’s Latin. Mom’s in
the habit of using some proverbs and the like, and I picked it up from her.”
“Oh,” was all Gunner had. He’d never graduated high school. But it
wasn’t as though Caspian needed a conversation partner. Their exchange
would be physical. That much he could offer.
After a moment of hesitation, Gunner kneeled in front of Caspian,
sliding his fingers over the thighs covered in short dark hair. He’d always
wanted to know what it was like to suck cock, and now he could try it
without fear or shame. Caspian was gay and probably saw nothing
humiliating about what Gunner was about to do. He was safe to experiment
with for as long as their strange situation lasted.
“You want to taste it?” Caspian asked and pressed his heel against
Gunner’s back, bringing him closer to the stiff length filling the front of
Caspian’s underwear.
The aroma of cum still hung in the air, and Gunner’s ass throbbed
when he remembered coming in the crumpled sheets less than fifteen
minutes ago.

It was insanity, yet he wanted to continue. To now taste Caspian’s—or
was it his own—cum. “It’s not weird, right? That I want to?” he asked,
looking up from the floor at the powerful man above. In this new body, he
could be completely submissive and hand over the reins to someone else.
Without worry or fear.
Caspian shook his head, staring at Gunner with eyes so dark they
were like twin wells in the middle of the night. He covered Gunner’s hands
with his own and pulled them up his thighs, as if he wanted Gunner to feel
how muscular and hairy they were. “You’re doing good.”
While Gunner regretted getting the face tattoo, he did like the other
ink on his body, and it took on a different meaning to him now that he saw
it as an outsider. The man he was about to serve with his mouth had threats
pushed into his skin, and every dark line, even the ones forming the
grotesque skull shape on the right side of his face, communicated to the
world that he’d crush anyone who dared challenge him.
To be of interest to a man like that was both frightening and exciting.
The strength packed into the thick muscles meant Gunner could be easily
carried, overpowered, but if he belonged to such a stud, he’d also be
protected, cared for. In his fantasies at least.
Gunner had butterflies in his stomach as he pushed Caspian’s briefs
down enough to see that his cock was hard for him again. His female
partners liked its size, since, while large, it wasn’t too big to handle, and
thank fuck for that, because it still left his ass aching a bit. But when he
leaned in to lick the tip, it occurred to him that he wasn’t sure how much of
it he’d fit into a mouth so gracefully small.
How perverse was it that it made him even hornier for dick?
Caspian’s hand felt so big against his face. The thick fingers that used
to be so familiar pushed into Gunner’s hair, caressing his scalp as he rolled

his tongue around the head like a good boy.
“Just… go slow first. Taste it,” Caspian whispered, watching Gunner
like a hungry wolf about to pounce its meal. The large teeth tattooed above
and under his lips on one side transformed him into a beast that might rip
out his throat if he didn’t service its cock well enough.
It gave Gunner a thrill to wrap his slim fingers around the hot girth
and lick the drop of pre-cum glinting at the pisshole. His own dick throbbed
in anticipation, but what he wanted was those dark eyes on him, and fingers
squeezing his hair to make him understand that he wouldn’t get to touch
himself until he served his purpose.
“Like this?” he whispered with his lips lovingly pressed to the
cockhead.
Caspian’s dick was salty and tasted of the cum it had shot into the
condom. Touching it made Gunner’s own cock twitch in his pants as he
closed his eyes and focused on all his other senses while Caspian petted his
head.
“Lick it. Like it’s a popsicle and it’s so hot you’re craving it more
than anything.”
The fantasy Caspian presented was so very close to Gunner’s desires,
but if he was to avoid staining his new jeans, he needed to release the
pressure on his groin. Relief flooded him along with the excitement when
he pushed the denim lower, but while it aroused him that his ass was again
exposed, the only desires that counted were Caspian’s, so Gunner got right
back to the dick in need of attention.
He first sucked in the bulbous head and closed his eyes with a groan
as his fingers once more found their way to Caspian’s sturdy thighs.
“That’s a good boy. Feel it. I want to shoot down your throat and see
you swallow all of it. My cum belongs inside you,” Caspian whispered,

spreading his legs farther and pushing up his hips.
How had this much erotic energy hidden in Caspian’s small body all
this time?
Gunner was so eager to suck in more of it he quickly leaned in,
testing how much he could take. His ears burned when he imagined himself
on his knees, with cock-sucking as his one obligation.
Caspian’s hand tightened in his hair, holding him down when the cock
rolled up Gunner’s tongue and pushed at the back of his throat. It felt so big
in his mouth already, but despite instinctively wanting to pull away, he
couldn’t, or didn’t want to, resist the dominant gesture and tightened his lips
on the girth, sucking on the thick meat.
Caspian uttered a low grunt and raised his knees on either side of
Gunner’s head. “Fuck… yes. You like how it tastes, little cocksucker?”
Gunner grunted his enthusiasm and ran his hands up to Caspian’s
tense stomach. All the muscles he’d worked so hard to chisel were now
available to his touch, so he closed his eyes and inhaled the musky scent
clinging to dark pubic hair. If Caspian wanted to come down his throat three
times a day, he’d just need to call, and Gunner would be there to provide his
services.
He was so masculine, and decisive, and each ugly word coming from
his mouth went straight to Gunner’s balls. Their fantasies were perfectly
aligned, and whatever power had made them swap bodies intended to give
them both what they wanted.
“Touch my balls. Gently,” Caspian said and made a little stir with his
hips, which pushed the head of his cock past Gunner’s gag reflex, making
him choke ever-so-slightly.
He followed the request, petting the tight sac, as if he wanted to coax
cum into his mouth. He was so horny for this. For this man. For what

Caspian offered. Not only for the body he could experiment with, but also
the aura of dominance that stroked Gunner’s dick without touch.
Another moan. Gunner loved how it sounded—somehow both needy
and masculine—and he sucked on the hard prick with more force, rubbing
his tongue against the shaft until Caspian pushed him lower.
“Look up. Look at me.”
Gunner’s eyes darted to Caspian’s dark gaze and the smile of a
predator on his lips.
“That’s it. Let me see that mouth full of cock,” Caspian purred in a
low tone that made every hair bristle on Gunner’s body. And then Caspian
pushed up his hips while firmly holding on to Gunner’s hair, and drool
rolled out of Gunner’s mouth down the thick shaft as if he were an animal,
helpless against his desires.
“I’m not sure if you can fit in all of it. You’re so small,” Caspian said
with a mean smile stretching his mouth. His cock rocked back and forth,
riding Gunner’s tongue and hitting the back of his throat each time, as if he
were preparing ground for his next move.
Gunner frowned, straining with the effort to stop gagging, yet
Caspian’s distracting touch made him shiver and lose focus. The stiff cock
throbbed in his mouth, and he traced every ridge with his tongue as his
heart rattled in fear and anticipation.
“If only I’d known back in high school that Gunner Russo would be
sucking my cock with so much devotion… Would have made my days so
much sweeter. Go on. Take it. I’m not letting you go until you swallow my
cum,” Caspian rasped and made an abrupt thrust with his hips, making
Gunner gag as the cockhead slid past his soft palate and forced its way into
his throat.

Panic struck, flashing white in Gunnar’s eyes as he trembled and tried
to pull away. But Caspian held him steady and made a little shushing noise.
“Breathe. I’m not gonna hurt you,” he said in a voice so different from the
vicious yet exciting tone he’d used before. But he didn’t move, keeping his
prick somewhere inside Gunner’s neck, where it provoked the gag reflex
and uncontrollable drooling.
Gunner took several long inhales through his nose, then looked up
into Caspian’s face despite the dampness in his eyes. He shouldn’t trust
Caspian. Not after high school. And especially not after what had happened
at the gym yesterday. Yet here he was. Still on his knees, still caressing
Caspian’s cock with his tongue.
He wanted this so bad. Wanted him so bad that he couldn’t help
himself and eventually calmed down, swallowing when instructed. Once he
relaxed, the intrusion no longer felt so threatening, and he even leaned into
the fingers rolling across his scalp.
“I know you can take it. I know,” Caspian said, and pushed Gunner’s
head lower as soon as he finished filling his lungs with air.
Gunner’s cock twitched when yet more of the length dove into his
throat, and this time he managed not to gag. He was Caspian’s bitch and
didn’t have the right to refuse him. In this warped world of arousing
humiliation, his mouth only existed for Caspian’s pleasure. Losing the
control over his access to air was damn scary, but he needed to trust that
Caspian wouldn’t choke him to death and just needed to wait until his
master chose to let him breathe.
Maybe it was a fucked-up way to think about this, maybe trusting the
guy he’d bullied made Gunner a fool, but he was getting dick for the first
time in his life and couldn’t be expected to make rational decisions. He
reached between his own legs with a choked moan.

“Keep those hands on me,” Caspian said in a voice so demanding
Gunner didn’t dare refuse him and embraced both of the firm thighs
keeping him trapped. His mind heated, screaming that he might start
choking soon, but Caspian mercifully pulled out, letting his cockhead rest
on Gunner’s tongue. The salty aroma filled his mouth, heightening the
anticipation building in his body. He’d swallow cum. Finally, after all the
years of dreaming about it, he’d taste the real thing!
“Open wide. I want to see everything,” Caspian ordered, and kept
speaking as he watched his own cock leaking pre-cum into Gunner’s mouth,
beautiful and scary like a beast that held Gunner’s life in his hands. “I’m
gonna fuck that hot little mouth hole of yours now. Tap my thigh if you
need air, but you better not.”
Gunner whimpered, and Caspian didn’t give him any more warnings.
He pulled on Gunner’s hair, holding him in place and sawed his cock into
Gunner’s mouth, forcing the thick meat down his throat every other thrust.
Just like he’d promised.
Gunner was scared at first, despite knowing Caspian wouldn’t hurt his
own body, but when Caspian eventually pulled his cock out to let him
breathe, the fear transformed into lust so primal he wished Caspian had a
twin to fuck Gunner again while he sucked.
Not allowed to touch himself, he was reduced to being a willing tool.
A hole Caspian could use for sexual relief however and whenever he
wanted. Gunner used to fantasize about his friends getting him drunk and
having his way with him, since it had seemed like the only way he’d ever
get to experience sex with men, but this was a hundred times better. The
humiliation came with a sense of safety, since Caspian didn’t seem like a
bad person, and as Gunner got used to the prick pushing into him at the
angle Caspian chose, the thrusts became hypnotic. His skin burned. His

head was a mess of random thoughts and images, but he floated beyond it
all, focused on the strong, steady hands and the dick taking him again.
He’d never produced so much saliva, and each time Caspian pulled
out, threads of thick spit stretched between the cock and Gunner’s waiting
mouth hole.
Mouth hole.
In this moment, he wished it was his name.
“That’s good. Keep that pretty little mouth open,” Caspian rasped and
slid one of his massive hands to Gunner’s throat, making him mewl.
The next few thrusts were brutal, but felt almost necessary. A
predator like Caspian couldn’t come without drawing at least a bit of blood,
and when he reached his high, the nails digging into the side of Gunner’s
neck were the confirmation of his nature as prey.
He swallowed when the first gob of spunk hit the back of his throat,
ready to do whatever Caspian required. His head spun. His back was damp
with perspiration. He was shaking.
Caspian let out a sequence of low, raspy grunts as his balls emptied
down Gunner’s hole, but once he was done, he cupped Gunner’s heated
face with both his paws and held it up, with his cock softening on the soft,
damp bed of Gunner’s tongue.
“Did you like it, bitch?” he whispered, struggling for breath while
Gunner kept his thighs wide open to avoid putting too much pressure on his
own dick and coming all over his pants.
He nodded, a shivering mess with his neck still aching where the nails
had bit in. This was madness. Pure fucking madness. Yesterday, he’d
reluctantly joined in on the taunting at the gym, and now, here they were,
with Gunner swallowing Caspian’s cum in apology.

“Thank you,” he slurred around the cock in his mouth. All this time,
he’d been hiding the nature of a slut, and he could finally let his freak flag
fly.
Caspian’s eyes brightened when he smiled, so very handsome it was
making Gunner’s erection painful. “You ever had a man give you a
blowjob?”
Gunner shook his head with air caught in his throat. “I’ve never done
any of this with a man,” he uttered once Caspian finally removed his cock.
Their eyes met, and the dangerous glint in those brown eyes made
Gunner shiver even before Caspian threw him onto the bed as if he were a
ragdoll. The crumpled sheets dug into Gunner’s back, but he didn’t dare
move when Caspian rolled over him, and licked Gunner from his balls to
the tip of his dick.
“Oh God!” Gunner whimpered and bit down on his fist. This man was
a beast. He should have been born in Gunner’s body.
Would have made so much better use of it. But as Caspian took in the
entire dick with no issue, Gunner questioned how much practice Caspian
had at this. How many cocks have already come inside this small, elegant
body before Gunner got to live in it?
It turned him on that he didn’t know. As if he’d been used by
anonymous men while wearing a blindfold.
It only took several bobs of Caspian’s head and a few licks for
Gunner to come with a ferocity that shook his whole body, and he cried out,
curling his legs and grabbing at Caspian’s head.
No thoughts existed in his mind for several seconds, only pure
fulfillment. He clutched Caspian’s short hair, worried the other man might
pull away too soon, but he stayed, caressing Gunner’s cock with his tongue
and stroking his bare skin until waves of pleasure left him adrift.

There was a squashed fly on the ceiling above the bed.
But it didn’t matter that the air smelled stale, or that no one had
bothered to properly clean the room when Gunner had just had sex with a
man for the first time.
Caspian looked up and let Gunner’s cock drop with a wide smile.
“You were so turned on.”
Gunner was still barely breathing and too tired to feign coyness. “I’m
such a fucking slut,” he said with resignation. He loved it. How would he
deny what was obviously true?
“A very sexy one,” Caspian said, grinning as he crawled up the bed
and rested his head next to Gunner’s. His arm was heavy as it lay across
Gunner’s chest, but while their bodies cooled, there was nothing but
pleasure in the loose embrace.
Gunner hesitated, but eventually turned to Caspian and hugged him.
He fought the overwhelming feelings drowning him when Caspian held him
in a way so different from short bear hugs and pats on the back. The
embrace offered comfort that made the rough sex they’d just had seem less
illicit. A sense of melancholy flooded him the moment he came and
threatened to drown him, but Caspian’s presence was the life jacket keeping
his head above murky waters of regret.
“Do you know if this hotel works by the hour? Not sure when we
should leave,” Caspian said and yawned, lazily rubbing Gunner’s back.
Gunner put his cheek against the meaty pec with a smile. “We need to
go soon anyway. You’re giving boxing lessons at seven.”
Caspian frowned. “What? I know nothing about boxing.”
Gunner bit his lip and pulled on Caspian’s nipple with a silly smile.
“It’s important, okay? I’ll go with you and coach you through it.”

Caspian rolled his face into the covers. “Okay. Fine. But we’ll eat
some real food right after. I’m already starving.”
Gunner considered that for a bit, but he was still stuffed since having
pancakes and the sweet coffee drink. “I could eat…” he paused, and when
Caspian looked up at him with raised eyebrows, he finished. “Dick.”
“Idiot.”

Chapter 10 - Caspian
Caspian would have never admitted it to Gunner, but he was sweating
bullets. Just twenty minutes after their quick shower at the motel, his T-shirt
was starting to stick to his back, but he’d used some Old Spice he’d found
in the glove compartment of Gunner’s rusty truck, so there was at least a
chance that no one would smell the fear on him.
It was one thing to carry his head high and send people menacing
stares. Teaching a skill he didn’t have—quite another. He was setting
himself up for failure, but he figured it might be all right if the lesson
happened in private.
No such luck. Gunner drove Caspian’s lovingly-restored Southfield to
the same goddamn gym where Caspian had been put through the worst
humiliation ever, and while it now felt like a lifetime ago, he’d only woken
up in Gunner’s body this morning. He’d been on edge on the way there, but
Gunner turned out to be a surprisingly good driver, so he didn’t have to
worry about his rare vintage baby at least.
Though, considering the vehicle was fully insured, that was still the
least of his worries.
The gym was swarming with people, and by the time Caspian stepped
out of the truck and faced its bright lights, his legs felt as if they were made

of cotton, no matter how muscular they now were.
He was glad that Gunner’s presence provided him with a distraction,
because he looked stupidly cute in the oversized hoodie he’d borrowed
from Caspian. He’d gotten self-conscious about the tight, colorful T-shirt
he’d worn to the motel, and said he needed to rethink his style after all.
Caspian hoped the tight jeans weren’t going anywhere though. A part of
him regretted that the hoodie obscured Gunner’s ass, but another part, one
weirdly primal, was glad that no one other than him would get to see it.
“So… who am I looking for? I know this is short notice, but can you
actually tell me if there’s an easy way of training someone without actually
showing everyone that I don’t know what I’m doing?” Caspian waved back
at two massive men, who gestured at him from a bench by the gym’s front
door.
“The kid’s fourteen and only started a few months back, I’ll guide you
through it. You’ll only be training one move today to perfect it, and I’ll
show it to you before he comes.”
Gunner put his hands in the pockets of the hoodie, leading the way as
if this place wasn’t a sanctuary for monsters. Caspian had been picked apart
by them just last night, and Gunner was obviously aware of the risk of
showing up here in Caspian’s body, so fuck only knew how he managed to
stay so confident.
Caspian followed him inside like a sheep, confused as to why Gunner
Russo would be training kids. Did he intend to pull them into some kind of
gang activity Caspian didn’t yet know about? He did vaguely know most
criminals started out early in their lives.
As the two of them approached the entrance, he cringed, already
anticipating that Gunner would get the same treatment he’d had last night,
but when he gave a loud whistle, the two guys blocking the way noticed

him right away and stepped aside, parting like the Red Sea had for Moses
and the Israelites.
How was the little shrimp doing that?
He nodded at the guys and followed Gunner into the bright front
room, but while he’d expected having to chat to the receptionist first,
Gunner headed for the locker room, as if it were a safe place for him to be.
Maybe he still didn’t realize how others saw him? Or did he rely on
Caspian’s protection?
Or maybe he knew some moves he could pull off even in a body with
short and thin limbs.
“I’ll show you the move in the lockers,” Gunner whispered and blew
air at the strand of hair falling into his eyes. It was still hard to comprehend
how different he seemed despite wearing Caspian’s own skin.
Inside, a tall meathead with a tattoo on his bald head sat up on the
bench and followed them with his gaze, frowning. “Come to grow some
inches?” he laughed, and Caspian stopped in his tracks, mortified beyond
reason.
But Gunner just spread his arms with a stupid grin. “What? You don’t
recognize me? I’m the extra weights. A hundred pounds, so you better get
lifting.”
A hundred and twelve, actually, but Caspian bit his tongue. No matter
how big he now was, he didn’t want to fight the other guy. But instead of
getting angry at the impudent answer, the man laughed out loud.
“I could lift two of you on each arm!”
Gunner smiled even wider, and answered as he walked on to the
locker rooms. “Okay, okay, I’ll get my three brothers next week.”
Why was Gunner lying? He didn’t have any brothers, or siblings for
that matter. But the muscular stranger seemed amused and offered Caspian

a smile as he followed Gunner past a set of lockers, where they’d have
enough privacy to practice the move he was to teach Gunner’s fourteenyear-old student. It was called the lead hook and involved rotating his body,
shifting his weight and jabbing his fist at the right angle. He wasn’t sure
how he was to teach this to anyone when it felt so very awkward to him, but
several tries later, Gunner assured him that he was doing well.
Whatever the teacher said.
“You’ll get the hang of it. I just don’t want the kid feeling like I bailed
on him,” Gunner added for encouragement and clapped before spreading
his legs and resting his hands on his hips in a very masculine gesture that
seemed surprisingly natural.
Sexy.
Yet it still felt weird to Caspian to see himself doing it.
“If you say so. I’m afraid there’s only so long I can pretend I know
what I’m doing,” he whispered, leaning to Gunner’s ear. The pale hair still
looked good, even after all the tumbling at the motel, and it smelled nice
too.
Gunner bit his lips with a grin and stroked Caspian’s side. “You seem
to be a fast learner.”
A deep shudder went from the tips of Caspian’s toes to the top of his
head, and he captured Gunner’s gaze, embarrassed that he didn’t remain the
steady presence to command the room. But the touch felt so good.
“So I’ve been told. Now… where’s that student of yours?” he asked
and cleared his throat to get rid of the raspiness.
Gunner led him to a room with mirrors on one of the walls and a
whole stack of mats in the corner. Every glance at his new reflection was
both confusing and exhilarating, but there was no time to ogle himself as
they approached a boy roughly Gunner’s size. His black hair could have

used a wash, and Caspian cringed at the severity of the poor guy’s acne, but
before he could have decided what to say, Gunner extended his hand to the
boy.
“Hey! You must be Brian. Gun’s told me all about you.”
Brian’s grim face lit up, and he smiled at Caspian, like a puppy eager
for praise from his new master. “He did?”
Caspian shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Sure. He’s
another student of mine and was really eager to meet you.”
The way Brian stared at the jeans leaving nothing to imagination
when it came to the shape of Gunner’s legs told Caspian he might have
blundered. But despite now having a body that didn’t fit in with the dirty
walls and the smell of sweat hanging in the air due to insufficient
ventilation, Gunner took everything in stride.
“It’s a bit difficult sometimes, because Gunner’s so much taller than
me. He said it would be easier if I got to train a bit with someone closer to
my own size. So the angles are right, and all that.”
“Yeah, but first, the lead hook,” Caspian said, deciding it was time to
grab the bull by the horns and step into the shoes he now needed to inhabit.
Gunner gave a brief shake of his head, but Caspian stepped closer to
Brian and explained the move like Gunner had to him earlier, word for
word, making sure to show each element several times, so that Brian
understood what was expected of him.
But as Caspian looked up and asked if his protégé had any questions,
Brian cleared his throat and uttered. “I mean… I know this one already.”
Fire ate the skin of Caspian’s face and reached his mind, making him
stutter when his brain stalled. “I-I… yeah. Just w-wanted you to perfect it.
That’s all.”

“So we can practice,” Gunner added quickly. “Gun was telling me it’s
time to test your progress with someone in a similar weight category.” He
took off his hoodie without even a hint of worry about his new body being
tiny.
Brian seemed to accept that explanation and soon enough entered the
boxing ring in the gym’s largest interior. Despite the high ceiling swarming
with pipes and AC ducts, the air smelled of sweat and rivalry, and Caspian
tried to ignore the crowd of massive guys training in small groups all
around him. They might not see him as an intruder, but he sure as hell knew
that he didn’t fit in, and in the new body—neither did Gunner.
Caspian wasn’t sure what he’d expected to see in the ring, but when
Gunner focused on his opponent as if this was a real fight, his stomach
suddenly felt heavy. Gunner had only taken over Caspian’s body earlier
today, but when he moved, avoiding Brian’s jabs or making strikes of his
own, it seemed that nothing at all was left of Caspian in the slender shell of
flesh and bone. Gunner might not be as strong as he was used to, but he
knew how and when to jab at Brian to hit him with gloved fingers.
Caspian had never much cared for boxing, or any other combat sport
for that matter, but as the two boys in front of him locked eyes, searching
for weaknesses in one another’s guard, he felt weirdly engaged. Brian might
be small, but he had more muscle on him than Gunner, and Caspian wasn’t
even sure who he was rooting for more. The younger boy to show Gunner
that size was a challenge, or for Gunner to show him that one could win
with more than brute force.
The hour passed like barely minutes, and while Caspian spent most of
that time ogling Gunner and remembering how that slender body had taken
his cock, he made sure to offer Brian praise whenever it seemed that the
boy had done something right.

To Caspian’s relief, Brian didn’t seem to notice anything was off, and
left after fist-bumping Gunner.
Caspian leaned over the ropes with a smile. “And how does it work?
Does he pay the money straight into your bank account, or…?”
Gunner stretched, as if he wanted to show off his body—the same one
Caspian had been so focused on hiding. How did this guy manage to wear it
with so much confidence? “No, no! Don’t mention cash to him. He’s got a
tough situation right now.”
Caspian frowned. “But you made a big deal over not losing this
client.” And where was he supposed to get money for food and bills?
Wasn’t this his part-time job?
“Yeah, he is. He’s a good kid, and if things get better, he’ll pay me in
a month or two. His dad lost his job, and it’s all a bit shit for him right
now.”
Caspian frowned, self-conscious about all the other men training in
various spots around them, even though nobody tried to approach him
beyond offering nods or brief waves.
“But… you’re poor. And you have that debt. You need all the money
you can get.”
Gunner deflated as if Caspian had punctured him. “Well, yeah. So?”
he snapped. “So I can’t do a good deed because I’m poor?”
Caspian took a step back and would have fallen off the edge of the
ring if he hadn’t grabbed the thick, stiff rope that surely had never been
cleaned. “No… it’s just that you could train someone else instead of Brian.
Someone who could actually pay you for your work.”
Gunner scowled and wouldn’t even look at him. “Clients aren’t
exactly busting my door, Casper.”
“You know my name.”

Gunner shrugged. “Whatever.”
What the hell?
Caspian grabbed Gunner’s shoulder and pulled him so they faced one
another across the ropes. “I don’t like this attitude.”
“So stop pointing out what a failure I am!” Gunner scowled, showing
his teeth like a rabid dog. His muscles went so rigid it seemed that only the
public setting stopped him from roaring.
Caspian counted to five and took a deep breath, meeting Gunner’s
gaze, meeting the same icy shade of blue he used to see in the mirror.
“I don’t know your life, okay? But that debt thing needs to be dealt
with. That’s not an opinion but a fact.”
Gunner sighed, as if the weight of the world had dropped onto his
shoulders. “I’ve got some business lined up. But there was this boxing
teacher that used to be really kind to me when I was a kid and had a shitty
home life, and I wanna give back, you know? We’re all in the same boat on
this side of the tracks.”
“Oh.” Caspian stared at him, his mind wiped in the face of something
he’d never associated with Gunner—compassion for another person. How
could this guy taunt him without blinking an eye, and then work for free,
just because he felt sorry for a kid. It didn’t make sense. “But I’m from the
other side of the tracks, and that made me fair game?”
Gunner shrugged and removed his boxing gloves. “Kinda. You’ve got
the fancy car, the pancakes Mommy made for breakfast—” He stalled and
bit his lip before shaking his head—“but I’m still sorry about yesterday,
okay? It was shit of me to provoke you and then let my buddies do that to
you. And for the record, your dick is perfectly fine.”
Caspian stalled when his mind went aflame with the realization that
the cock he’d enjoyed sucking earlier was the same one he’d resented all his

life. So maybe it was on the smaller end of average, but when he’d taken it
in his mouth, it had been smooth, and warm, and tasty. There was nothing
wrong with it.
Nothing.
He was so confused he’d only noticed Gunner fighting for his
attention when an open hand waved inches from his face.
“Are you there?”
“Yeah. But I’m still angry. You could have just told them to leave me
be!”
“Like that would have worked on those idiots. You don’t know them
like I do—” Gunner stalled with his gaze fixed on something to their right.
“Goddamn it.”
“What the fuck, slut boy? You stalking me?”
Caspian was startled at first, but when Gunner’s nostrils flared as if he
were a bull about to charge, Caspian followed his gaze across the floor, all
the way to a corner where a buff Asian guy stepped in front of a swinging
sandbag he must have been hitting, and laughed, peeling the sweaty front of
his T-shirt from his torso.
“Get over yourself, Mike. Like I did,” Gunner said, bristling. He
grabbed the hoodie and slid off the ring.
Slut boy?
Slut boy?
What did you call him?” Caspian asked, jumping off the platform and
already heading in Mike’s direction as sparks exploded under his skin. He
didn’t know what this was about, but the scraps of information he already
had were enough fuel for his anger.
“Gun? What’s up? Why are you hanging out with that piece of trash?”
Mike asked, intent on not reading the room.

“Let it go, Gunner,” the actual Gunner said, following him, but
Caspian was already making his way toward Mike, who seemed to have
realized the tables had turned only when Caspian shoved him back so hard
the bastard barely kept himself upright.
“Who are you calling trash, huh? Do you have a death wish?”
Mike frowned, but raised his hands. “Wait, wait, I don’t get it. He
your cousin or something? He tried to make a move on me at the store
today, so I thought maybe he followed me here. Boy’s too thirsty for his
own good.”
Frost cut into Caspian as he looked back at Gunner, so tense he felt
like his ligaments might snap from the pressure.
But he couldn’t start a fight. Not when he didn’t know what the fuck
he was doing. So he rolled his head over his nape, to loosen up the tension
there and was about to dismiss the whole thing and walk off to have a
serious fucking chat with the little flea.
But as he opened his mouth to speak, Gunner roared and charged at
Mike. “Says the fucking king of one-night stands! It was just a fucking
offer!” he yelled and before Caspian could have grabbed him, Gunner
climbed the guy like a tree, using his arm as leverage, and punched the side
of his head.
Mike hadn’t anticipated this and fell under the unexpected weight on
top of him. Their altercation could no longer be ignored, and the other guys
stopped their training, gravitating closer like crows to a bagful of crumbs
Fumes of heat and blood-scented smoke filled Caspian’s head, but he
only moved when Mike jabbed Gunner’s side with his fist. He grabbed the
boy from behind and yanked, peeling him off the other man as if he were
plucking a baby out of a burning building.
“What the fuck are you doing?”

Gunner stilled, clutching at his side. “He fucking started it. I know
he’s gay, so what’s the big deal in me hitting on him? Big fucking whoop!
You’re not even all that anyway!” He showed Mike the finger.
Mike’s face was red as he rolled back to his feet, fists already rising,
but Caspian turned around so Gunner’s opponent couldn’t easily reach him.
“I’m training him now, so if you touch him again, it’s gonna get personal,”
he bluffed, struggling to keep his body steady with all the eyes pushing
hooks into him.
Those guys could’ve ripped him to shreds if they smelled that
something was fishy about him, and in an instant, he understood why it
might have been hard for Gunner yesterday to stand up to his pseudofriends who also happened to be drug dealers.
Mike took a deep breath and pointed at Gunner, but didn’t step any
closer. “You talk to me again, you come to my store, or as much as make
eye contact, you’re dead, you little shit! Understood?”
Gunner waved his hand. “Fine, whatever.”
He was at least sane enough to leave before things could have
escalated and walked toward the exit as soon as Caspian put him down.
Caspian had never seen a more volatile twink.
“See you,” Caspian muttered to Mike, because it felt like the thing to
do, and followed Gunner while someone else asked the men to go back to
whatever they’d been doing, since the show was over.
But it definitely wasn’t over for Caspian.
What the fuck had Gunner been up to while he hadn’t been looking?
“You have some explaining to do,” he whispered and grabbed
Gunner’s arm as soon as they were in a dusky corridor, out of everyone’s
sight.

Gunner groaned, but didn’t fight Caspian the way he had Mike. “I
was just trying things out, okay? He’s the only gay guy I know.”
“You just walked into his shop, and what, offered him a blowjob?
Maybe you should carry around a price list, while you’re at it?” Caspian
forced out through his tightening throat and shook Gunner.
“It wasn’t like that! I thought we could, like, date or something…” He
didn’t sound convinced himself, but when a woman passed them and barely
hid a smirk, Caspian knew they should continue this conversation out of
sight.
“Take me somewhere private. Now,” he said, burning with the desire
to break Mike’s jaw himself.

Chapter 11 - Caspian
Gunner groaned and led the way down the corridor, to a large storage
closet filled with metal shelves stacked full of protein powders. “He pissed
me off, okay? He made me feel like shit. Like I shouldn’t have even asked,
and I’m fucking adorable.”
Caspian’s hand stopped on the lock, which he hastily turned as soon
as they were both in. “So he’s a douche, I get it! Believe me, I get it! You
can’t go around offering yourself to randos! This is mine,” he growled,
gesturing at Gunner’s compact form in the tight jeans that looked so cute
with the oversized hoodie.
Gunner hesitated, and his blue eyes met Caspian’s. “What if I’m
really horny, and you’re not around?”
Liquid fire rose in Caspian, and he grabbed Gunner’s shoulders,
bringing him closer. He couldn’t even think of what he’d do if he found
Gunner flirting with some other guy. That wasn’t what they’d agreed on.
“I don’t care if you’re too horny to wait. Come and see me or fuck
your little boy hole with a dildo!”
Gunner had the audacity to laugh. “You mean the rubber one in your
closet? I don’t know how that will help with my need.” He stood on his toes
and pulled Caspian a bit lower to lick his lips.

Oh Damn. He might have as well grabbed Caspian by the balls.
The moment when he’d walked in on Gunner holding Twinky would
forever be one of the most embarrassing in his life, but he couldn’t let the
boy take charge of this moment and pushed him at the wall. “Then I’ll get
you a dildo, and you’ll ride it whenever I can’t be there to satisfy you.”
“And should I make videos of me doing it, so you can watch them
later?” Gunner ran his fingers over Caspian’s forearm, and his touch was
like a match setting Caspian’s skin on fire. Never before had his cock
hardened so fast.
Gunner was a shameless slut, and Caspian wanted him all to himself.
He’d had crushes before, mostly on cute twinks who seemed so
unattainable. But he’d never felt so jealous. He wasn’t sure whether it was
because Gunner was his first bottom, or because Gunner was a sexy
firecracker, but Caspian wanted to keep him.
He wanted to get tested now and cream his tight hole as soon as he
made sure this body had no STIs to pass on.
“Yes. But no face,” Caspian added, because the last thing he wanted
was to deal with the potential fallout, if the recording got into the wrong
hands.
“Why? Is my come-face ugly?” Gunner purred and ran his hands up
Caspian’s chest, all the way to his neck until he wrapped his arms around it.
He truly was fucking adorable in the big hoodie, which only reinforced the
idea of him being small when compared to Caspian’s hulking form. Yet that
didn’t stop him from knowing how to tease a guy like a pro.
Caspian had already fucked him twice today, but his dick was
throbbing for more.
He needed the release more than he needed food, despite being so
perpetually hungry, and he grabbed the slender neck, trapping it against the

wall as he nipped on the smooth skin of Gunner’s jaw and smelled his hair.
“No, but I’m the only one allowed to ever see it.”
Caspian had told himself fucking Gunner was about scratching a
physical itch, yet here he was, becoming obsessed with the person who’d
bullied him for months back in high school. Gunner’s Adam’s apple bobbed
against Caspian’s palm, like a reminder that he was now in a position of
power and could have put pressure on that delicate neck, if his intentions
were any different. He had no desire to frighten Gunner, but it gave him a
thrill to know that he was the predator. And when Gunner’s eyes glazed
over in response, it became clear they both appreciated this new reality in
equal measure.
“You wanna see it now?” Gunner whispered, and the nostrils of his
small nose flared with each quick inhale.
“Fuck,” Caspian whispered and clashed their mouths, sliding his other
hand into Gunner’s mane and holding on as if it were reins. His lips tingled
with the need for more, and he poked the soft mouth with his tongue just as
his knee pushed between Gunner’s thighs.
Yeah, he did want to see it now.
How was that even a question?
“You dirty little slut. You wanna do it here? There’s people who have
keys to this room,” he whispered, but for once the perspective of being
walked in on aroused rather than scared him.
“You gotta be quick then,” Gunner whimpered and arched his neck
instead of trying to free himself from the hand collaring his slender neck.
His stare was filled with lust, as if Caspian were the hottest man on
the planet, and that was exactly what Caspian had always wanted to see
reflected in the eyes of his partners. He now had the body to get him what
he needed, and he’d make the most of it.

“Take my cock now. I wanna see you holding it.”
Gunner immediately cupped Caspian’s crotch with so much affection
it felt like a hug, but he didn’t stall for long and unzipped Caspian’s jeans
soon after.
His small, slender hand felt so damn hot, and when it rolled up and
down the shaft, Caspian could have sworn that his balls cooked in
response.
“I’m gonna destroy you. Right here. In this room where someone
could hear us,” he uttered in a heated whisper and rolled his tongue along
Gunner’s ear.
He’d seen Gunner fight that Mike guy and run his mouth at people
with such ease, yet in Caspian’s hands he became putty, as if he had special
powers to transform the little bastard into a lustful kitten. Nobody had ever
made Caspian feel so wanted. So powerful.
Gunner let out a little whimper and squeezed Caspian’s cock. “I’ll be
quiet.”
“You won’t be able to keep it in when I drill you with this,” Caspian
said and thrust his stiff cock through the tube made by Gunner’s hands.
Arousal crawled up his back, buzzing ever louder, and when Gunner met
his gaze, once again blushing like an innocent, Caspian squeezed his neck
and gave him a hard, breathless kiss.
The soft lips were so pliant for him, and he could just see himself
becoming addicted to their eagerness. He might see himself as the one in
charge, but was he really when Gunner’s wanton gestures and looks baited
him as if he were a tomcat called upon by a female in heat?
It didn’t matter where they were, or that the room had a stale scent to
it, or that the wall had patches of dirt in places people regularly brushed
against. He could sense Gunner’s desire in every shiver going through his

delicious body. He could feel it in the hard-on rubbing his leg, and see it in
the way eyelids lowered over the blue gaze.
“Jesus. You’re such a fucking honeypot,” Caspian rasped and reached
under the loose top, quick to unzip Gunner’s pants. He didn’t want to wait
any longer than necessary and swiftly lubed himself up, dropping the tube
to the floor as soon as he had a generous amount of the gel in his palm.
“Then lick me…” The spaced-out smile when Caspian pulled
Gunner’s pants down told him all he needed to know about the connection.
He ran his tongue up the scratches on Gunner’s neck, his jaw, and all
the way up Gunner’s cheek. The little moan escaping those tempting lips
made Caspian breathless with the urge to drive his cock into the slutty boy.
He would. Any moment now.
Without thinking much, he leaned down, grabbed Gunner under the
knees, where his jeans pooled, and lifted him against the wall, because he
was strong enough for this now. Oh, yes. He’d be looking into Gunner’s
eyes this time, because he was no longer afraid to see his own face as he
drove his cock in. While his new, massive body already felt like home, the
old one no longer did, and when he met the lustful gaze, all he saw was
Gunner… or rather, a version of him that was delicious instead of
threatening.
Gunner wrapped his arms more tightly against Caspian’s neck. When
Caspian pushed Gunner against the wall, his cock slid into the welcoming
valley between the pert buttocks, right where it belonged.
They both gasped, lips joining as Gunner clawed his fingers and
massaged Caspian’s flesh through the clothes. There was an unexpected
tenderness to the touch, but Caspian’s dick was throbbing for release
already, and his balls felt so tight he could barely think.

Folding Gunner in half, he reached down, grabbed his shaft and
changed the angle of his hips, pushing the head at the sweet dip in flesh that
promised him heaven.
And when the hole twitched, opening up to the pressure, butterflies
fluttered in Caspian’s stomach, making him shiver.
“Oh, baby… that’s so good.”
Gunner whimpered and squeezed him tight when Caspian pushed just
enough for his cockhead to pass the ring of muscles. Gunner had lost his
anal cherry only earlier today, so this surely hurt or was at least a bit
uncomfortable, yet instead of trying to make Caspian go slower, he let his
head drop against the wall and fought for air, rosy as if he were already
about to come.
“That’s it, such a horny boy. I bet you can’t wait for me to be ballsdeep in you,” Caspian cooed into Gunner’s ear, and it sparkled back at him
with the new piercing. How could a body be so well known to him, yet feel
so new?
Gunner let out a soft groan that went straight to Caspian’s balls.
“Fuck. It’s so thick.”
“It is. So thick, and you’ll still take all of it, because you’re my bitch,”
Caspian said, but despite the arousal cooking his brain, he kept his eyes
open and held still, watching his boy’s face for signs of discomfort.
Gunner’s top lip trembled, his brows drew together, but instead of
asking for Caspian to slow down, he leaned in for a quick kiss. “I’ll take
anything you want me to.”
How had this guy lived so many years and stayed a virgin? He clearly
had a desire for sex to match Caspian’s own.
“Tell me why,” he rasped, watching the flushed face without blinking,
while his cock sank farther into that hot, willing body. It didn’t matter that

someone could walk in, or that they were doing it in an ugly, badly lit
storage closet. All that mattered was the boy in his arms, taking his dick and
asking for more. He’d never felt this validated as a man.
“‘Cause… Cause I’m your bitch. And I’ll only take your cock. Only
suck yours. Swallow only your cum. And film myself only for your
pleasure.”
This was the fulfillment of all Caspian’s fantasies, and as he pushed
up, burying his prick deeper and deeper in the snug hole that wouldn’t stop
sucking him in, he captured Gunner’s lips and traced them with his tongue
before diving in. He’d penetrate both of his holes as often as Gunner
wanted. He’d keep him for as long as he could, because their sex was
something out of this world. So good that the memory of Gunner’s past
actions paled like an old photograph left in the sun for too long.
So what if he used to be a bully when now he’d become this pliant,
sexy boy who offered himself to Caspian as if he really had no shame. That
was all the atonement Caspian needed, perhaps because his dick was doing
the thinking.
He picked up pace with every thrust of his hips, so focused on the
radiant face in front of him that he barely broke a sweat despite carrying
another person’s weight and moving at the same time. He was the king of
the fucking world.
His kisses muffled the little moans Gunner made every time Caspian
pumped his cock into the searing heat of the compact body folded between
him and the wall. Just yesterday, he’d been an unfulfilled guy who’d never
topped and doubted he’d ever find a bottom willing to give him a chance.
Today he was on his third fuck and had a slutty thing spreading his legs in
the supply closet because he couldn’t fucking wait for Caspian to fill him
with spunk.

They worked together like a well-oiled machine, and while it was a
tight fit, and the friction became hotter with each thrust, Caspian let himself
go and drilled his prick into Gunner’s body like a piston. His blood bubbled
with joy when his balls pulled closer to his body, and when he knew it was
almost over, he bit down on the boy’s lips to stifle the grunts pushing at his
mouth as he trembled, shoving his cock as deep as he could.
“Oh!” Gunner’s eyes flew open and his moan became louder. “Oh,
fuck, fuck, fuck! Right there!”
Spurt after spurt, Caspian planted his load, but once his climax was
over, Gunner suddenly felt heavy, and Caspian found himself sliding to his
knees. With ecstasy painted all over Gunner’s face and biting his pink lips,
Gunner rode Caspian’s cock in a frenzy, and Caspian barely had enough
brain power to cover the boy’s mouth when he cried out. Hot, damp breath
tickled Caspian’s hand as he slumped against the wall, flushed and heaving.
The dark stain spreading at the front of Gunner’s grey hoodie told
Caspian his boy had come too.
“How are you so damn hot? I want to keep you in my closet,”
Caspian whispered, kissing his way up Gunner’s throat, which smelled so
delicious he wished he could carry that scent with him wherever he went.
Gunner grinned with his eyes still closed in the afterglow. “Maybe
you should. You could then pull me out and use me whenever you need to
nut.”
Caspian might have just come, but his dick still gave a little twitch.
“You’re trying to kill me. Suck out all my juices like a little cum vampire,”
he whimpered, pushing his hands under the hoodie so he could touch the
pliant flesh he was already addicted to.
“We’re at a gym. Wanna go shower and pretend we’re just two bros
casually washing next to each other?” Gunner wiggled his eyebrows. How

were his features so playful, so alive when Caspian had often felt like the
dullest guy in the room?
How had he not noticed that his face was quite handsome when he
smiled?
Out of breath, he gave a quick nod and reached down to keep the
condom from slipping off his shaft, but when he touched Gunner’s hole,
reality smashed into him like a glass bottle.
“I didn’t rubber up…”

Chapter 12 - Gunner
Gunner’s mind was still hazy after the earth-shattering orgasm when
he met the dark eyes that seemed to scorch him.
“I mean, we’re gonna shower anyway.” Gunner shrugged. His ass
throbbed around the softening cock, yet he wouldn’t have had it any other
way. The pressure inside made him feel like a new person, as if taking
Caspian’s cock was starting to transform him into someone much closer to
his true nature than he’d ever been.
Caspian took a deep breath and looked away, as if he’d just
swallowed a fly. “No… I mean… aren’t you worried about STDs?”
Gunner shrivelled up a little on the inside, frustrated by this change of
topic when they’d been engaged in perfectly good teasing. He stepped away
from Caspian, and while he was annoyed Caspian brought the real world
into their cocoon of lust, he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he
loved being Caspian’s spunk hole.
“Dunno. Not really.”
Caspian exhaled, pulled up his pants to hide his junk, and showed him
a packet of condoms. “I’ve been educated about safe sex ad nauseam and I
had condoms right there. I could have used them. What the fuck is wrong
with me?”

Gunner kissed his pec, eager to go back to the relentless flirting.
“Because you’re a horny stud?”
Caspian stilled, staring at him with an unreadable expression. “I’m
sorry. I should have asked, but it’s like my brain’s just boiled over.” He
rubbed his face up and down. “We need to get tested.”
Gunner rolled his eyes and rearranged his clothes, though he wasn’t
sure how to deal with the cum inside him. Should he keep his buttocks
squeezed tight until they reached the shower?
But then his brain glitched, and he looked up at Caspian. “Why? How
much do you sleep around? I’ve only got Sandy. Had. I suppose.”
Caspian’s frown was so deep it might have dug into bone. “What?
You mean that girlfriend of yours? You only ever slept with her?”
He made it sound like a bad thing.
Gunner led the way out of the closet to avoid Caspian’s gaze. “Not
like ‘ever’, but nowadays. How’s that so strange?”
Caspian shifted his weight and wrapped his fingers on his nape. “It’s
not bad. It’s just… that you’re so hot. How do you not bang everything that
moves?”
Gunner glanced over his shoulder as they made their way down the
corridor. He just hoped they wouldn’t meet anyone on the way to the
showers, because he felt like he had filled-with-cum painted across his face.
And a stain of his own spunk on the hoodie. Fuck. Did Caspian’s mom do
his laundry for him?
“‘Cause I don’t wanna. It gets so complicated. I only fuck Sandy
sometimes to take the edge off. I don’t think she cares for it, and I kinda
like it that way.” Gunner shrugged at how pathetic that sounded.
They both stilled when one of the regulars walked past them,
acknowledging Caspian with a nod, but once the coast was clear, Caspian

leaned down to whisper. “So you really never had a guy? Not even a drunk
blowjob?”
Gunner sped toward the lockers with his ears on fire. “Maybe it’s
easier to slut around with guys in your world,” he grumbled. “You don’t
have a boyfriend, do you?” Changing the subject was a go-to strategy that
never failed.
Caspian stilled and stayed behind before catching up with Gunner.
“No. I’m just surprised. But how can you be sure Sandy isn’t sleeping
around? Have you ever been tested?”
“Stop grilling me like I’m some disease-riddled maggot! And Sandy’s
too lazy to cheat on me anyway. Even with us not being together anymore.”
Two women who’d passed along the corridor at the bottom of the
stairs gave them brief looks of disgust before hurrying off. Just great.
“It’s not like that,” Caspian said, grabbing Gunner’s arm and pulling
him back.
“What’s it like then, huh? No, I haven’t been tested, but I’m fine,
okay?” He didn’t know whether he wanted to shower with Caspian
anymore. His feelings were as erratic as the exhaust on his old truck.
“Don’t be like that! We can just go together. Do it as a team,” Caspian
tried, but it
was obvious that he feared he’d accidentally soiled his pristine body
with trailer trash cum. Joke was on him, because he was the one in said
body now.
Gunner slipped out of Caspian’s grasp and jogged until he finally
reached the locker room. “We’re all gonna die someday anyway.”
The door slammed shut behind him, and before he knew what got
him, strong hands grabbed his shoulders, spun him around, and pushed him

against the wall so he had no choice but to meet Caspian’s dark, inquisitive
gaze.
How was it that Caspian seemed so hot to him now when Gunner had
so often felt like an awkward lump of flesh when interacting with people in
that same skin?
“Do not walk away from me. Is that clear?”
Gunner’s heart throbbed, and he had to take a deep breath to calm
down. He wasn’t afraid of Caspian anymore. Not so soon after they’d
fucked like bunnies on speed. But whenever Caspian got this dominant, his
behavior pushed all of Gunner’s buttons at once and left him confused as to
whether he should run or pull down his pants.
“Fine,” he mumbled.
The wide shoulders relaxed, and Caspian leaned closer, watching
Gunner as if he were examining a particularly interesting beetle specimen.
“If we’re to be exclusive, it makes sense to discuss such things. I’ve been
regularly tested. Just in case. I expect you to do the same if you want to
ditch the rubbers.” He cleared his throat and blinked, because he must have
realized Gunner had said nothing of the sort.
Oh, this is fun.
Gunner smirked. “Aren’t you gonna invite me to dinner first?”
Caspian stretched and looked around, as if he were suddenly afraid
they might not be alone in the locker room. But no. There was no one else
present.
“Okay. But… do you? Want to not use condoms, I mean,” he said and
stuffed his massive hands into his pockets, back to his sexy confident self.
Gunner ruffled his hair to obscure his face. “Y-yeah. It’s hot. Like
you’re marking me. Breeding my tight ass like that…”

The way Caspian’s Adam’s apple pushed at the skin of his throat,
going up and down, had Gunner’s toes curling.
“I like that too. It’s so damn erotic. I already know I’m gonna jerk off
thinking about it later,” he said and cupped Gunner’s face with one hand,
rubbing his coarse thumb across his mouth.
Gunner bit his lip, fighting a silly smile. That hand was so big. It
turned him on just how small he was in comparison. “So you get tested
frequently?” he mumbled. “Is it expensive?”
Caspian cleared his throat, averting his gaze. “I—maybe not a lot, but
I’ve done it several times. And some places even test you for free, since it’s
a public health issue.”
Gunner grabbed a clean towel from the shelf by the wall and led the
way to the showers. “So how many guys have you slept with?” he asked,
while secretly sizzling at the thought that the body he now inhabited had
been touched by strangers, though he wasn’t sure whether this aroused or
horrified him.
Caspian shuffled behind him in silence, as if he wanted to leave
Gunner in suspense and never satisfy his curiosity.
“Not that many. I don’t know… ten?” Caspian said in a voice so quiet
it barely sounded like the rich baritone that had sent shivers down Gunner’s
spine minutes ago.
Gunner processed that with a frown as he pulled off his hoodie.
“Okay, so… you’re not as slutty as your Grindr suggests?”
Caspian pushed the fresh towel against his face and screamed. The
fabric muffled the sound, but it was loud enough for Gunner to take a step
back.
“Oh no. You saw it. Please, tell me you haven’t actually read any of
it!” Caspian uttered, still keeping his face hidden in rough fabric that had

long ago turned grayish.
“Sorry, it was too juicy to pass on, but there was so much it’d be hard
to read all of it. Bet those ten guys had the ride of their lives.” Gunner
rushed to take all of his clothes off and surprise Caspian with his nakedness
by the time he looked up again.
“You got it all wrong. Sorry. I got to be honest with you, I—” Caspian
stalled when he lowered the towel just in time to see Gunner’s jeans sliding
down his ass. Was he thinking about there being his cum deep inside it?
Because Gunner totally was. “What I mean is… I had the wrong body for
the things I wanted to pursue.”
Gunner pushed off his clothes while meeting Caspian’s gaze. He
could relate to that. He hated the need to voice those embarrassing thoughts,
but three fucks in, they were way past being strangers. “I think I know what
you mean. I never even considered searching for guys, ‘cause I feel like
there’s all these expectations when you look a certain way. I live where I
live, and… it was just easier not to face the reality of who I am.”
He’d never shared that with anyone. Hell, until today, he’d never told
anyone he was gay, but if there was one person he didn’t need to pretend
for, it was the man standing in front of him.
Caspian went still and rubbed his massive chest. “Yeah, but… you
could have gone to another town. You’re so handsome any gay guy would
have wanted you. And I was just this… shrimp,” he said with a twist to his
lips, using the same comparison that had been thrown against him last
night.
Gunner stepped closer over the cold tiles and pushed Caspian’s T-shirt
off him, then ran his fingers over the tattooed chest. Skulls above the collar
bones, barbed wire becoming a snake with a large knife stabbing its head,
its long body winding all the way around the torso as if it originated in the

navel. Spiders on a web adorned his forearms along with a scorpion
reaching onto one of his hands. Insects and reptiles. Poison and death. All
saying do not approach. The ink had been his armor, a deterrent to make
him appear more threatening than he was. But the story told by the designs
was only skin-deep and kept Gunner’s secrets in the dark.
“It’s a nice, muscular body, but won’t attract people who want to pick
me up and roll me over. You’ve fucked me enough times to know what I
like. Those muscles come with expectations. This?” Gunner looked down
his new frame and gently stroked the flat chest with smooth skin and little
definition. “This is perfect for me. Just not for what you wanted.”
Caspian’s nostrils flared, and he shrugged, visibly uncomfortable. He
cleared his throat, took off his remaining clothing, and headed for the
showers. Unbelievable. Was he running from this conversation after starting
it himself?
Gunner rushed after him, and since there wasn’t a soul around, he
didn’t have qualms about pouncing on Caspian. He grabbed his shoulders
and pulled himself up on Caspian’s back, while wrapping his short legs
around Caspian’s waist for stability.
He lowered his voice to a rasp, imitating Caspian. “Do not walk away
from me. Is that clear?”
Caspian looked back, his arms spread for balance. Oh, he was so firm
to the touch!
“Sorry. It’s just embarrassing,” he said and continued toward the row
of identical showers that had fixed showerheads and brown tiles to hide dirt
for as long as possible. Grabbing Gunner’s knees helped him carry the
additional weight with more comfort.
Gunner laughed, stupidly exhilarated. He hadn’t piggybacked on
anyone since he was a kid, instead always being expected to give rides.

Clinging to the fragrant body, he kissed the side of Caspian’s neck. Just
because he could. He’d been hiding those secret needs for so long, but
Caspian allowed him to spread his wings and fucked him until Gunner was
happy like a teen who’d gotten his braces taken off.
“What’s embarrassing, is the rubber boy toy in your closet. Better tell
me about the guys you’d fucked. Was my new ass virginal?” he teased.
“I’ve never done any anal,” Caspian muttered in a small voice and
stepped on wet tiles, straight into a cloud of vapor scented like someone’s
shower gel. There was also a hint of moldiness in the air, but the
sandalwood notes hid its presence well enough.
Gunner kissed him on the back of the head. He was getting some
seriously tense vibes from Caspian and was eager to soothe him. “I’ve only
done it with this one girl a few years back, ‘cause I was curious, but fucking
her just wasn’t what I wanted. And she was all like, ‘yeah, slam that big
dick in, stud’, and that was a massive turn off for me. Barely kept it up
really, so we’ve all got some skeletons in the closet.”
“You don’t mind? That I’m not experienced?” Caspian uttered and
scooted down so Gunner could get off him.
Gunner jumped down and shrugged. “Not really, no. You, like… seem
to know what you’re doing.” He couldn’t get over how amazing his old
body looked from the perspective of someone much shorter. Gunner had
always felt too big for any space he entered, but Caspian carried his form
with a silent strength that was somehow both imposing and calming.
“I suppose I should be glad you’d worked up some stamina while you
still had this body. It’s probably the only reason why I hadn’t come the
moment I pushed into you the first time,” Caspian said, spreading his firm
arms. He stopped with his mouth open and met Gunner’s gaze. “It was
everything I ever wanted.”

“Me?” Gunner could only hope this wasn’t some elaborate dream
he’d wake up from any moment now. He knew Caspian meant the body
he’d got to fuck three times already, but the acknowledgement still felt
good. Gunner had dreams of being wanted this way, of a man stronger than
him putting him in his place and breeding him over and over while he
mewled in helpless pleasure.
His stomach fluttered, and he could sense the heat rushing to his face,
so he turned on the water with a quick flick of his hand.
They’d been naked before, but this wasn’t a private space. Someone
could come in at any moment, but instead of frightening him, it gave
Gunner a thrill to stand so close to Caspian. Whoever might enter would
immediately notice how small and cute he was compared to the massive
guy under the other showerhead.
A smile pulled on Caspian’s lips, and while he too switched on the
flow, he remained close to Gunner. The warm water splashed his bare chest
and drizzled lower, to the cock that had been inside Gunner so recently.
“Yeah. You, you nasty little sexpot.”
Gunner turned around under the water and pulled his butt cheeks
apart, looking over his shoulder to catch Caspian’s expression. “I’m the
nasty one? Look how filthy you made me.”
The predatory stare that stabbed into his flesh when Caspian faced
him was worth the risk of acting so lewdly in a gym bathroom. He wanted
to be the center of Caspian’s wet dreams and with each hour, he was finding
his feet as the manic pixie twink.
“You better watch out, or I might just bend you over my knees and
spank you.”
Gunner got himself some mint-scented soap from the dispenser on the
wall and started lathering up. This was all fun and games, but it was late,

and he had cum to wash off.
“What if I like it?” he teased and splashed some water on Caspian,
who delivered a fast hit to Gunner’s ass with the back of his hand.
“Then I’ll have to come up with a different way to punish you.”
While his old body was a handsome cage with a face marked by
mistakes of his past, in the new one, Gunner felt free for the first time in
years. As if he could do anything. Reinvent himself and explore his identity
without boundaries.
“I am a free-spirited twink, and I will not be constrained,” he said
with feigned seriousness and lifted his chin.
Caspian grabbed Gunner under the armpits and lifted him up. Their
bodies collided under the steady stream of the shower, and by the time
Gunner crossed his ankles on Caspian’s ass, he was sandwiched between
the strong chest and the cold, cold wall anyway.
“How am I supposed to let you sleep in my old bed without me?”
Caspian rasped and licked the side of Gunner’s face, making him shiver
with the heat of his tongue.
Gunner chuckled feeling shy, even though he literally had Caspian’s
cum inside him.
He wanted to come up with some witty, erotic remark, but then a door
opened, letting in a whiff of cool air, and he pushed at Caspian’s torso with
so much force he ended up slipping out of his partner’s grasp and falling to
his poor aching ass under a stream of water.
Noah stood in the doorway with his mouth open, but he ignored
Gunner and instead focused all his attention on Caspian. Of course.
Fuck.
“Err… Gunner?” Noah choked out.

Chapter 13 - Gunner
Caspian stood still at first, but then offered Gunner his hand and faced
Noah, unaware of who that was. “We’re busy.”
Noah spread his arms, and his dark brows lowered. “What?” His
attention finally drifted to Gunner. “And what the hell are you doing with
my brother?”
Gunner got to his feet and rushed out from under the water. “It was
just a prank—dare—thing…”
“Brother?” Caspian uttered, staring at Noah as if he’d never seen
anything freakier in his entire life.
Noah swallowed and rested his hands on his hips, his face going
slack. “Are you okay?”
“He’s fine. Perfectly normal,” Gunner said, searching for a way out of
this madness.
The showers, which only moments before had been the stage for
Gunner’s self-discovery, now felt oppressive, and he grabbed the towel off
the hanger to wrap it around his hips. He knew he needed to come up to an
answer that made sense, but all coherent thoughts had evaporated from his
brain, leaving him drowning without anything to keep him on the surface.

Noah spoke again before Gunner could have come up with an idea for
damage control. “Gunner. Do you want to tell me something? Or is this a
bad time, or—”
Gunner rubbed his face in frustration that seemed to have no end. But
if he was to tell someone about what was going on, it would be his little
brother. “I will talk to him,” he said to Caspian. “Go on, tell him it’s fine.”
Caspian’s big, tattooed chest grew as he inhaled. “I think it’s best if he
waits for us outside. We could go somewhere private and discuss this.”
At this point, Noah’s eyes were the size of saucers, and if Gunner
didn’t do something fast, he might end up with a psychiatrist knocking at
his door.
He turned to Caspian and shook his head. “No, no, no, I said I’ll
handle this.”
Noah took a strangled breath and kneaded his face, as if he were
trying to rub off his freckles. “Is this how you paid off Snowman this week?
I came to ask because I was worried. I mean… I’m not judging, but you
don’t have to do this. I’ll take on some extra shifts—”
Oh Jesus.
Caspian frowned and raised his hands, finally settling into his role.
“Look, I know it might be a shock, and I didn’t want you finding out this
way, but I’ve been living with this secret for some time—”
“No! You have not! Shut up!” Gunner yelled and pushed at the
massive chest, which barely budged at the pressure. He looked back at
Noah, because it wasn’t as though Caspian would slap him back. “We’re
gonna talk, and you’ll understand. And he will stop talking shit.” He gave
Caspian a warning glare, because coming out in Gunner’s body wasn’t his
decision to make!

“Hey, don’t shove me,” Caspian growled, and his hand went straight
for Gunner’s throat. The collar of fingers didn’t hurt, but its presence still
shocked Gunner into a stupor. Hadn’t they flirted a minute ago? Hadn’t they
just fucked? Hadn’t Gunner given Caspian pleasure?
In sex that same hold had driven him frantic, and his body responded
to the memory by flushing him with heat.
Noah stepped closer and put his hand on Caspian’s arm. “Hey,
Gunner… It’s okay, whatever’s going on, we can talk it over.”
No. It was not okay.
Caspian leaned in to meet Gunner’s eyes. “Did you hear that? He says
it’s fine. Calm down, let’s dress, and we can figure this thing out together.”
There was something calming about the steady way he spoke, but
everything Gunner was, everything that made him, rebelled against the idea
of his little brother knowing about his secret cravings.
Gunner stepped away as soon as Caspian let go. “No. I need to tell
him stuff, and you’re not part of that. Stop confusing him!”
Noah raised his hands. “What the hell is going on?”
Caspian’s mouth pressed together, and he took a deep breath. “He
already saw us. Don’t you see he’s fine with it?”
Gunner shook his head. He’d gotten caught up in a fantasy that had no
place anywhere near his real life. “No! It might be fine to be a faggot in
your world, but this is out of control. I need to talk to my brother, and you
don’t belong in that conversation! Don’t know what you thought this was,
but you’re wrong.”
Caspian frowned, taken aback, and his mouth twitched into a bitter
smile. “I thought you wanted to be my bitch.”
An involuntary whimper escaped Gunner’s mouth, but before he
could have spoken, Noah stepped in between them with a twist to his full

lips.
“I don’t know what’s up, but don’t speak to him like that. I met him
today, and I think he’s having some kind of mental breakdown.” Noah
glanced back at Gunner. “Do you have any family I could call for you?” he
asked softly.
This couldn’t be happening.
“You know what? Fuck you,” Caspian said, his patience finally
snapping. He glared at Noah. “Sure, take him with you. He’ll explain and
lie, or whatever.”
Shame seeped into every pore of Gunner’s body, but Caspian’s anger
was preferable to getting his real life wrecked. His shoulders slumped as
Caspian stormed out, a bulldozer of a man with clenched fists.
“I’ll see you later!” Noah yelled after him, but then looked back at
Gunner with questions in his brown eyes. “What’s your name?”
Gunner gave a deep sigh, and once he heard the locker room door
slamming hard, they walked out of the showers so he could get dressed.
“It’s complicated.”
“Your name is complicated? Shoot, I’ll do my best not to
mispronounce—”
“It’s Gunner, okay?”
Noah frowned. “Okay, that’s confusing.”
“Tell me about it,” Gunner grumbled, but Noah didn’t say anything
more and just waited for him to get dressed.
Now that Caspian was gone, Gunner was feeling as if someone had
taken away his anchor. They’d spent the whole afternoon together,
discovering each other’s bodies, they’d had lunch, and then gone through
the boxing together, fucked again… He shouldn’t have snapped like that,

but he’d panicked. He didn’t know how to navigate being gay, not to
mention the insane body swap situation.
The wait was painful, and Gunner hoped to gather his thoughts while
it lasted, but by the time he and Noah left the locker rooms and headed
toward Gunner’s fancy vintage car, he hadn’t come up with any
revolutionary ideas on how to deal with this mess.
“Are you sure you can drive?” Noah inquired, getting a step ahead
and having the audacity to stare at Gunner’s eyes in the light of the
streetlamps, as if he were checking for signs of drug use.
“Yeah, I’ll take you home, and tell you everything on the way.”
It felt strange to be smaller than his seventeen-year-old brother. Noah
had really grown up in the past two years despite spending months in the
hospital after his accident. And yet Gunner was responsible for him, and
had vowed to give Noah the support he’d never had growing up.
The way he’d stood up to his own brother to protect a perfect stranger
spoke volumes about the kind of person he was growing to be. Maybe his
life would be less burdened with sadness and failure than Gunner’s had
been.
“Uh… okay. This is weird though. Why isn’t Gunner with us? I get it
that he’s embarrassed, but he’s still my brother, and I don’t know you,”
Noah said but opened the passenger door of Caspian’s fancy car, suddenly
stilling. His gaze slid over the pristine leather upholstery and cream and
cherry red, over the wooden steering wheel, the shiny dashboard… and he
didn’t get in, as if he were afraid to do some damage to the expensive car
and end up liable for repair costs.
Because he couldn’t be afraid of Gunner, could he?
“I’m not a serial killer, okay?”

Noah’s lips pressed together. “That’s exactly what a serial killer
would say.”
Gunner groaned. “Fine. There’s no sane way to say it. I’m Gunner.
Your brother Gunner. I know it’s hard—”
“What? You’re making less and less sense.”
“No! It’s true.” Gunner looked around and slid into the seat, forcing
Noah to bend down in order to keep seeing his face. “It’s one of those body
swap things.”
Noah crooked his head like a befuddled cartoon character. “Say
what?”
“I’m Gunner.”
Noah wrapped his arms on his chest and lifted his chin, exposing the
long scar running up the side of his throat. “Oh really? Then prove it. Tell
me something only my brother Gunner, would know.”
Gunner growled to himself and leaned against the steering wheel,
racking his brain. He bit back a smile when he found the right memory.
“Remember after your accident, when you first woke up—”
Noah dismissed him with a gesture. “My accident’s no secret.”
Gunner grinned. “No, no, stay with me here. When you first woke up,
you were so drugged up you couldn’t feel your body well, and you couldn’t
move much either, so you asked me if I could check if your dick was okay.
And I did. ‘Cause that’s the kind of big brother I am.”
Noah slid into the seat, shut the door, and turned his head to stare at
Gunner, his face tense. “What the fuck?”
Gunner had to take a deep breath before starting the car, because the
tension in his muscles was making him overheat. “I know. It happened
today. I woke up like this. It’s been… a weird day. Do you think it will wear
off overnight?” Being able to discuss this with someone other than Caspian

was such a relief he melted into the seat, breathing deeply for the first time
since Noah had walked in on them in the gym.
“I—I don’t know. This is some sci-fi shit,” Noah said and closed his
seatbelt, never looking away from Gunner. His bright eyes shone in the
dusky interior, peeling the protective layers Gunner tried to establish.
“And… your secret…”
“It’s not what you think!” Gunner said as they drove off, and he was
annoyed that it was now dark, and he couldn’t excuse putting on shades. “I
was just… confused at the mall. Because of this body. The other guy,
Caspian, he’s gay, and his body is—it has these urges.” He was ashamed of
throwing Caspian under the bus like that, but what was he to say to Noah
after all that he’d seen today? It wasn’t like he’d care about the sexual
habits of a stranger.
“Yes, but you don’t have to sleep with people you don’t like. Anyway,
it’s okay. I don’t mi—”
“Well, you should mind! ‘Cause I’m not gay.” Gunner snarled,
keeping his eyes on the road as the deliciously filthy things he’d done with
Caspian sizzled in his memory. He hadn’t simply allowed Caspian drill him,
but he’d been a willing participant. Thrice. Just today.
Noah looked out of the window and rubbed his hands together. His
left ring finger was slightly crooked, but it was amazing how well the
surgeons had managed to mend his broken body following the accident.
“But it doesn’t matter. Clearly, you want to explore this now.”
Gunner went silent. Could this be a loophole he could exploit? His
way to have his cake and eat it? Then again, what if Caspian was pissed off
at him and wouldn’t want to fuck anymore? After today, Gunner couldn’t
imagine having sex with anyone else but the beast of a man now living in

his old body. They might not know each other well but they’d understood
things about each other no one else could.
Caspian wouldn’t have gone to find another hook-up, just to go
against Gunner’s wishes, would he? It wasn’t like he’d have that much
stamina left after coming three times already.
“So who’s the other guy?” Noah asked, pulling Gunner out of his
chaotic, needy thoughts.
“Caspian. I knew him back in high school.”
“Oh… so he was the one who paid Snowman. And… this swap
thing… how did it happen. Why him?” Noah asked, watching Gunner as if
he really expected a coherent answer when the situation Gunner was in had
no place in the real world. It was some movie shit, but he hadn’t
accidentally broken an ancient statue, or whatever else caused people to
swap bodies in wacky comedies. He’d met Caspian at the gym, then had
beer with the guys, and fallen asleep.
“I don’t know. He doesn’t either. But maybe it’s some kind of
punishment from the universe. I… might have done a shit thing to him
yesterday.” He blinked, staring ahead as the car passed trees on the way to
the trailer park at the edge of town. “Oh. Maybe I need to redeem myself
somehow.”
Noah leaned back in the seat. “Gunner… no.”
“No?”
“Why do you pick on people?”
The judgement in Noah’s voice made Gunner shrink. “I don’t know. I
got caught up in it, and Todd was there, spurring me on. I didn’t mean to
hurt him. If anything, I kinda just wanted it to be over, so I went with it.
Okay, maybe I was a bit—” curious to see his dick. “Never mind. What’s

done is done. The universe is telling me to live a day in his shoes. That’s it.
We’ll be back to normal tomorrow. For sure.”
“So how was it?” Noah asked as they drove past all the fast food
joints and toward the scorched remains of the Rabid Hyenas biker club.
“Hm? How was what?” Gunner looked at the road in front of him to
avoid the dreadful memories of the fire that had taken their father. He’d
been a bad man, but their financial situation had been better when he was
still around.
Noah cleared his throat. “You know, touching another guy.”
Gunner’s face went aflame. Everything I ever wanted and lusted for.
“Weird. Especially since it’s my body.”
“So a bit like masturbation?”
“No! Jesus. I guess… I kinda felt free to go with it, since this isn’t my
body, my life, you know?”
Gunner drove past the sign welcoming them to the trailer park and
headed for the bungalow where Noah lived with his mom, Zahra. Their
home was only a fifteen-minute walk away from the trailer park, but any
reason to avoid confronting Caspian just yet was good enough.
Noah licked his lips. “So it’s something you might do again? Once
you’re back in your own body?”
Gunner scowled. “You’re such a fucking smartass. No, it’s not, and I
won’t. Don’t you ever do shit in a dream that you wouldn’t do in real life,
but then you wake up and think to yourself, oh, okay, so that was a thing?”
Noah shrugged, in no rush to leave when Gunner stopped in front of
the white bungalow. What could he possibly be thinking about? “Depends
on the stuff. I guess if I had like… a sex fantasy, I’d like to try it out in real
life.”

“Well I don’t. End of story. You don’t always get everything you want
in life, and you should know that.”
Noah slumped against the door, making Gunner regret his words.
Maybe he’d been too harsh, but it was for Noah’s own good. Living in
fantasy land of big dreams was what had gotten Noah into his car accident
in the first place.
Noah chewed on his lips for a while. “And you’ll be going back to his
house?”
Just thinking of the mansion of a house made Gunner relax. His life in
Caspian’s body might be temporary, but he’d enjoy it for as long as it
lasted. “Yeah. I’ll just go check on Fluffer.”
“Okay, but I’ll see you tomorrow, and if nothing changes, we’ll
investigate, right?”
Gunner didn’t want to think that far ahead when his life was already
chaos. “Yes, Noah, you can become the paranormal detective tomorrow. If
I’m not back to normal. Which I will be.”
Noah hesitated but then rolled out of the seat and waved. “Need to go.
Mom’s gonna be mad if I’m late.”
Gunner waited until Noah disappeared from sight and let out a scream
of anguish while banging the steering wheel.
What a fucking mess.
It took him several moments to calm down, and once he felt ready to
face the world, he headed for the trailer park. Sandy wasn’t always
responsible enough to feed Fluffer, and even though he’d told Caspian to do
it, it was better to be safe than sorry.
He parked not far from the entrance, to avoid meandering among the
trailers when someone’s car was already blocking half the driveway. He was
used to people giving him looks, but while in his own body he was a

predator everyone watched out for, Caspian was prey, and he sped up when
a group of teen boys noticed him from afar. Darkness hid him from sight as
he made his way through the labyrinth of mobile homes, cars, and sheds,
and he was relieved that there was no menacing laughter or hurried steps
behind him.
The disappointment in Noah’s voice came back to him the moment he
felt relatively safe from the kids.
Why do you pick on people?
Was he too impulsive? Or just mean to the bone? He’d always had a
bit of a grudge against Caspian over things that had happened in high
school, but that was some bullshit drama that should have been long left in
the past. So was he jealous? Being born into a rich and loving family wasn’t
an achievement, but it wasn’t a crime either. It wasn’t Caspian’s fault that
Gunner’s life had been filled with anguish and violence.
“Hey sweetie,” he cooed when he spotted Fluffer’s big, inquisitive
eyes reflecting lamplight. “It’s me.”
The cat opened its mouth and rose from its place on the step leading
to the trailer. Did he recognize who Gunner truly was, even though the
fancy cologne he’d used this morning smelled nothing like his former self?
Speeding up, Gunner was about to run up to his pet when someone
grabbed his forearm and tossed him at the nearest wall.
“Who do we have here? Are you here to spy on Gunner?”
Ice weighed on Gunner’s stomach when three shadows closed in on
him, like demons in some dumb paranormal TV show.
But this was real, and his heart thudded.
He wanted to speak up, to tell Todd to go fuck himself, yet his voice
got stuck in his throat, because unlike at the gym, where there had been too
many witnesses for Mike to inflict any serious damage, the dark alley

between trailers was a place where anything could happen. A woman had
been murdered on the other side of the grounds just two weeks ago, and her
killer hadn’t been found.
“Hey, shrimp, he’s talking to you.” Bud slapped him, blowing out
fumes of beer, and even though it didn’t hurt much, the humiliation of being
prodded like this hit Gunner like a truck.
“I was just…” What would be the best lie in his position? If he were
in Caspian’s shoes—fuck. He was in Caspian’s shoes. “To talk about his
cat,” he blurted out. Reason had clearly left his body.
“What do you want with it? Maybe we should take your wallet?
Provided there’s enough dough in there, the puss can be yours. Maybe,”
Todd said with a mean chuckle.
Bud frowned. “Gun wouldn’t sell his—”
Ralph shoved at him without saying a word.
This might be his end. Those three vultures would rip him apart and
consume all the juiciest bits, leaving only blood and bones. But then hope
filled his lungs like fresh air. He dashed forward, slipping out of Bud’s
clutches and hit the living room window with both hands before two pairs
of arms roughly dragged him away from it.
“Gunner! Help!” he cried, but his voice broke when a hard kick to the
back of his knee sent him into the dirt.
“Where do you think you’re going, huh? We were talking to you,”
Todd hissed, shoving Gunner to his hands and knees.
Darkness had settled on the trailer park, and the music coming from a
nearby home would obscure his screams. He knew this, because he’d been
on the other side of that situation many times, and those were things one
needed to consider to avoid getting caught.

He wouldn’t get his redemption, but what was about to unfold would
be punishment he’d never forget.
“Let go of me!” he yelled, because any noise he could make would
work in his favor. Bud tried to silence him with a kick to the stomach, but
Gunner grabbed his leg and bit the fucker on the calf like a rabid dog. So he
was small, but he wouldn’t go down without leaving his tormentors with
battle scars.
Something collided with his ribs, and he might have rolled over twice
before he landed on his back, with pain radiating all over his slender body,
which didn’t have the protective layer of dense muscle he could tighten in
order to lessen the blow.
The world around him trembled, and he tried to get up, but when his
gaze passed over the window of his trailer, he saw an eye looking at him
from behind the curtain, and realization stabbed his heart
Caspian was here.
Yet he stayed hidden and refused to help.

Chapter 14 - Caspian
Caspian went straight back to the trailer park. His blood buzzed with
fury, and he’d almost driven a slow car off the road when it got in his way,
but all he could think about was Gunner and the casual way he’d dismissed
him, when they were in this hell together. If anyone else was to know of
their situation, Caspian should have been a part of that conversation too.
He’d known what the bastard was doing—trying to shift all the blame for
what Noah had seen to Caspian. Just like when they’d met in the morning
and Gunner had claimed Caspian’s body was ‘gay’. It was such a shitty
thing to do. Especially after everything that happened since Gunner had
hounded Caspian down at the motel.
Bitterness tingled at the back of his tongue and trailed to the pit of his
stomach where it slowly turned into an inferno that had him hitting the horn
and driving way too fast in Gunner’s useless piece of junk.
He was gay. So was Gunner. They’d both enjoyed each other’s bodies
throughout the day, and there was nothing wrong about that. To have that
thrown into his face as an insult made him want to find the piece of shit and
charge at him.
But when he parked by Gunner’s trailer and saw that the lights were
on inside, he knew there was another problem he needed to face.

The ex-girlfriend Gunner couldn’t get rid of. Caspian left the vehicle
with a sense of purpose and jumped up the three steps with his blood
already pumping faster. Enough was enough.
Sandy was sitting in front of the TV and eating chips as he entered,
but her face twisted the moment she spotted him. She looked like a demon
about to pounce him and eat his soul.
“You can’t watch The Beach Bachelor with me. You’ve been a shit all
day, and left me with no money.”
“Why didn’t you go get yourself a job and earn some yourself? You
sit on your ass all fucking day,” Caspian barked, taking in the messy
kitchen. If Gunner was the one bringing money home, shouldn’t she at least
have the decency to keep the small trailer relatively clean?
Sandy threw the chips to the sofa, and Caspian cringed when some of
them scattered and rolled to the floor. “Oh yeah? And who fed Fluffer,
huh?” She got up, spreading her arms, as if she were the threat, and he—
someone who should cower.
Had Gunner really been such a pussycat with her? Caspian bet she
was staying here rent-free too.
“You fed a cat. That’s the only thing you’ve done all day long? Are
you high?” he asked, staring her down, because while Gunner might not
have known how to deal with this cash-sponge, Caspian had no fucks left to
give.
She shifted her weight and cocked her head as if she were seeing him
for the first time. “Well, yeah. But just on weed.”
“This isn’t working for me. Pack your bags,” he said, guided by the
fury singing in his veins. He wanted to smash something, but getting rid of
this annoying fly was the next best thing.

She folded her arms on her chest. “You’ve gotta be kidding me! I put
up with your bullshit for a year, and you’re throwing me out?”
“Evidently.”
“Oh yeah? Just watch me then! This is the last straw!” She licked the
orange chip dust from her fingers and scooted down. With one tug, she
pulled the TV cable out of the plug.
“Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Caspian asked,
thrown off guard.
“This is mine. You told me to pack my bags, and that’s what I’m
doing,” she said and dragged over a chair, which she climbed on so abruptly
the top of her nipple peeked from above the tube top she was wearing, as if
her breast were fighting for its freedom.
This made zero sense. Gunner would have had a television of his
own. And even if it belonged to her, for reasons he could only speculate
about, Gunner had earned it back ten times over, if he’d been supporting her
unproductive lifestyle all along.
“I’m vetoing this. Leave the TV, or we’re gonna have a serious
conversation,” he said, unsure how to act. He could have just punched
another guy, but what was he to do about a woman? He’d been taught to be
respectful, but it wasn’t working.
“You barely use it” she yelled, not caring that the neighbors would
hear her through the thin walls. “If you want me out, you can live without
your precious British Bake Off. And by the way, I know you’ve been using
my shampoo, and I’ll be taking that too!”
She slid off the chair and walked straight at Caspian with the screen
tucked to her chest.
He did the one thing that came to his mind and blocked her way. “You
will place the TV back on the table and go pack your personal things. Do

not play with me,” he added, because it seemed like the right thing to say.
Sandy pursed her lips, turned around, and… threw the TV at the table.
The flat screen landed on the edge and cracked in the middle, while a piece
of black plastic broke off its frame when it collapsed to the floor.
“There! Your precious TV! All yours! And on the table, like you
always wanted,” she screeched and grabbed the packet of crisps. “I guess
these are yours too, huh?”
Before Caspian could react, she dipped her hand into the packet, then
threw crushed chips at him.
What. The. Fuck. This woman was feral!
But he couldn’t bring himself to just grab her, even as she went red
and pouted at him like an overgrown child. This wasn’t who he was.
“I said pack your bags. Now.”
“Or what? Like it can’t wait till morning?” She shook her head with a
smirk.
Gunner must have let her walk all over him. But he wasn’t Gunner
and wouldn’t be convinced by the incentive of sex, which was surely what
she intended to hold over his head next.
“If you don’t go now, I will make you leave.”
She rolled her eyes. Actually rolled her eyes at him. “Oh, come on,
Gun. You can posture to your friends, but I know you’re a marshmallow, so
cut this shit out and we’ll talk in the morning.” She turned around and
walked off toward the bedroom at the end of the trailer as if she hadn’t just
trashed the TV.
Caspian’s hesitation only lasted a moment. He didn’t want to
manhandle her, but there was no other way, so he caught up, grabbed her by
the waist and lifted her as if she were a large teddy bear and weighed close
to nothing.

“That’s a goodbye.”
“Let go of me!” She screeched and pounded on his arms with her
fists, but while it hurt, it couldn’t make him let go, nor deal any real
damage. “Or I’ll tell everyone you liked a finger up your butt when I blew
you!”
“Nobody’s gonna believe I’d want you to do it with those sharp
nails,” Caspian snapped back, but his mind instantly went to territories it
didn’t belong. He opened the door and put her outside, by the steps. “If you
won’t pack your stuff, I’ll just have to do it for you,” he said and shut the
door in her face, heading straight for the bedroom.
Enough was enough, and Gunner would thank him once they were
back in their respective bodies. Sandy hollered outside, likely cursing him
with all the black magic she knew from TV shows, but he grabbed a trash
bag, and stuffed it with all the clothes and trinkets that looked like hers. On
the way to the door, he also visited the bathroom, swept all her toiletries in
too, and then grabbed her handbag from the kitchen counter.
Two of her friends had joined the sad scene outside by the time
Caspian opened the door and threw two bags of her shit to the ground,
drunk on his victory. “And take the damn cat too,” he said, glaring over his
shoulder to find the flat-faced furball on the table.
All three women stared at him, but Sandy was the first to speak. “I’m
not taking the ugly stinker! You wanted him, so keep him and wipe his
leaky nose!”
Oh. Ooh. So the cat was… Gunner’s?
He flinched as something touched his calf, but when he looked down,
the pet’s big eyes met his before it gingerly leapt down the steps and laid on
the one in the middle.

“Just… get lost. Don’t wanna see you here again, lazy ass,” he
muttered, glaring at Sandy and her crew.
“Well, same here, asshole! You don’t know how to treat a lady right!”
She grabbed one of the bags, leaving the other to one of her friends.
“Don’t worry about him, Sands, you can stay at my place,” said a
woman who could have been Sandy’s twin before glaring at Caspian as if
he were in the wrong.
A short examination of the door told him there was a cat flap at the
bottom, so he petted Fluffer and left him outside, breathing a sigh of relief
as the sense of justice settled in his chest.
But he was still left with a mess.
Caspian approached the broken TV set with a soft sigh. “Well, I didn’t
need you anyway, but Gunner’s gonna be livid.”
Fatigue got to him when he parked his ass on the sofa. But there was
nothing strange about being tired after swapping bodies, fighting, topping
for the first time, and eating for three people. All that since morning.
With a sigh of mindless exhaustion, he switched off the light and
curled up on the seat, his eyelids heavy as if they had weights attached.
It seemed he’d only shut his eyes for a moment when someone called
out Gunner’s name in a shrill voice. Caspian didn’t react at first, but when
more voices joined in, and the distressed tone of the first person got through
to him, he rose to his knees and pulled on the curtain, peeking outside in
time to see Gunner close his teeth on Bud’s bare calf while a dog barked as
if it were about to cough out its lungs.
He was about to do a slow clap, but then Todd took a step closer and
kicked Gunner in the ribs so hard the small body rolled over like something
that shouldn’t be that weightless.

Rage burned Caspian’s insides, because it was still his body, and he’d
be the one to bear all the bruises once his mind returned where it belonged.
But while witnessing the attack made him stiffen with discomfort, it was
obvious the bullies were just toying with their prey and had no intention of
really hurting him.
He could break it up. He could step outside, claim Gunner as his
boxing student, like he had at the gym, and put an end to the pathetic
spectacle, but an ugly part of him wanted to see Gunner get a taste of his
own medicine. And to suffer for saying all the mean things he’d had after
Noah walked in on them in the shower. If he was so eager to avoid any
association with Caspian, why was he expecting help?
A third shadow emerged, and Caspian recognized Todd’s brother,
Ralph. Hyenas always travelled in packs.
“I’ll go take his car for a spin in the meanwhile. You won’t mind, lil’
Flea, will you?” Ralph didn’t touch Gunner, but watched on as Todd
stepped on the boy’s back in order to pin him in place.
The lesson Caspian hoped Gunner would learn definitely did not
include his one-of-a-kind Southfield getting scratched by this maniac!
He rolled off the sofa and burst outside, jumping down the steps to
avoid Fluffer, who gave a little hiss when he opened the door.
“What the hell is this racket?”
“Just having some fun with our little friend over here,” Todd said, his
green eyes shining with glee, as if life didn’t offer him worthier
amusements. “Said he wanted to buy your cat or some shit.”
What an asshole.
Gunner remained on the ground, defeated by a pack of wolves he’d
never had a chance against. Guilt seeped to the back of Caspian’s throat
when the boy scrambled to his knees, visibly shaking. Some of the

neighbors stepped out of their trailers or opened windows, and watched the
situation unfold, as if Gunner’s real-life misery was better entertainment
than trash TV.
“Don’t touch him again. He’s my new student.”
Bud laughed. “Student? Of what?”
When Gunner tried to use the opportunity to rise to his feet, Todd
shoved him right back to the ground. “Where do you think you’re going?
We’re not done.”
Hot rage burst into Caspian’s skull, and he smashed his fist against
Todd’s head, sending him crashing into the wall of the nearest trailer.
Nothing had ever felt this good. Well, at least since coming inside
Gunner’s tight little ass.
“Am I not speaking clearly? Fuck off and don’t touch him again.”
Todd stared at him as he slid to his ass, holding his head. “What the
fuck, man?” he choked out.
Even Bud stepped away from Gunner, letting the boy scramble to his
feet. He might have tripped several times, but this was Gunner, so he glared
at Caspian with glossy eyes as soon as he felt safe enough to do so.
“So you only come out when they threaten the car? Fuck you!” he
yelled and spat Caspian’s way, even though he was too far away for the
glob to reach him.
It wasn’t untrue, and while just moments before it had felt right to let
Gunner suffer for the way he’d acted, the straight-up question stabbed
Caspian with guilt. He should act like the real Gunner would have and
break the little fucker’s nose, but even in this body, Caspian couldn’t let
himself become the kind of piece of shit Gunner had been to him in school.
But it wasn’t as though he could explain himself in front of all the

onlookers. Even Mad Madge was enjoying the show, sipping off-brand root
beer in front of her home. They needed to get away.
“Wait for me in the car,” Caspian said, meeting Gunner’s eyes.
Gunner opened his loud, vulgar mouth, about to spew more venom,
but then hesitated, and finally closed it. He turned around and limped away,
holding onto his stomach and for once doing as he was told. He was like a
wounded puppy, eager to go lick his wounds yet in too much pain to run.
Gunner deserved a lesson, but maybe not one this violent. What if he
had cracked ribs, or something?
Caspian had to take a deep breath before he faced the three bullies
who’d ganged up on a guy who couldn’t have taken on even one of them. “I
said don’t touch him. How hard is that to understand, Todd?” Caspian asked
with pent-up rage coursing through his veins. He wished he could’ve
twisted off this bastard’s balls for everyone to see, just to make him feel a
fraction of the fear and anguish Caspian himself had been through because
of people like him. The adrenaline of being stronger than Todd still buzzed
in his veins as he zeroed in on the guy.
“Since when do you care about people like him? He must be paying a
lot for those boxing lessons.” Todd scowled, but didn’t try to fight Caspian.
“Since when do I have to explain myself to you?”
Ralph shook his head and stood by his brother, opening his mouth for
once. He sounded as if his throat were covered with rust. “I’m gonna let this
slide, ‘cause I heard you broke up with Sandy. Get a grip, man. I just hope
you’re less unhinged on the job tomorrow.”
The job.
The thing.
The fucking drug-muling.
What the fuck had he gotten himself into?

“You bet I did. Gonna find myself a real woman this time,” Caspian
said.
Bud laughed like a cartoon villain. “So you broke up for real this
time?”
So Gunner couldn’t even get himself a girlfriend who’d win the
approval of his deadbeat friends? How pathetic. “This whole thing’s really
making me rethink my priorities. You guys do the job tomorrow without
me. I’m done. Satis est satis!”
It was as if even the birds had stilled at those words.
Bud cocked his head with his lips parted. “What?”
Caspian spread his arms in frustration. “Enough is enough!”
Todd stared at him without a hint of a smile. “The fuck are you
talking about?”
“Oh, so I’ve punched you deaf?”
Todd straightened up, and while Caspian remembered him as a tall
guy, he was of an average size when seen from Gunner’s perspective. “No,
I’m just worried, you know? We’d be one man short, but I guess we can
take your brother instead. He doesn’t have your muscle, but I’m sure he can
be persuaded.”
Caspian wanted to say that he didn’t have a brother so the joke was on
them. But then he remembered the kid with a brown mop of curls, dark eyes
and freckles, who’d left the gym with Gunner, and his lips clamped shut.
He shouldn’t have cared, because Noah wasn’t really his brother. But
he seemed like a good kid and wasn’t even eighteen yet. Things like that
mattered. “Leave him out of it,” he said, and the way Todd’s face relaxed
told him it had been blackmail all along.
Caspian itched to break the fucker’s nose to make him look more
distinctive from the twin brother, but there would be a better time for such

pleasures. Right now, he and Gunner bore one another’s responsibilities,
and that meant no matter how much he disagreed with drug use on
principle, or how much everything in him balked at the idea of committing
a crime, he’d need to go through with the job this once, because there
wasn’t enough time to get himself out of it.
“Fine. I’ll go.”
Bud was already walking off, but Ralph shot Caspian another grim
look before turning away. “See you tomorrow,” he said in a tone that
sounded like a warning.
Fuckers.
Caspian didn’t yet know how, but he would make sure those three
bastards paid for all the things they’d done. To him. To Gunner. And
everyone else.
“Show’s over,” he shouted to all the not-so-discreet spectators and
picked up Fluffer, who stared up at him, confused like a person who’d just
been woken from the REM phase of sleep. “And you’re under house arrest
until your master’s back,” he whispered and put the cat inside before
locking the door, the cat flap, and heading toward the gates of the trailer
park, where he expected to find Gunner.
He didn’t pin the big, burly guy as someone who’d own cats,
especially fluffballs who spent their days grooming, but what did he know?
Maybe it used to belong to an ex of Gunner’s, and he’d gotten attached to
the thing?
Even though midnight was approaching, in his new form, he wasn’t
afraid to walk up to a stranger smoking a joint in front of his home. The guy
had a ZZ Top beard and wore sunglasses despite it being so dark.
“Hey, have you seen a guy in a vintage car? It’s dark red.”

The man took a long drag of smoke with a thoughtful expression.
“Oh, yeah… Little guy, big car. He drove away.”
Caspian’s arms dropped in helpless anger, but he bit into his lip to
stifle the roar pushing at his mouth and faced the open gate.
Gunner was going against him again. But this time, Caspian wouldn’t
let him get away with it.

Chapter 15 - Gunner
The bastard had watched it happen. Just hidden away behind the
curtain and let those fuckers kick Gunner about, as if none of what had
happened between them earlier mattered. Maybe it didn’t, and Gunner had
gotten ahead of himself thinking that he and Caspian were on the same
team. Caspian had seen glimpses of it when he took charge in sex, stripping
Gunner of his armor, but he didn’t seem to understand what those moments
meant to Gunner and had only seen being in charge as a power trip. Was
this all there had been to their frantic, lusty encounters?
So maybe Gunner had been a bit of a shit to Caspian in front of Noah,
but he’d panicked. Wasn’t he allowed some slack?
Unwilling to face anyone, he ended up parking in front of a bar,
frustrated and hurting. The bright moon illuminated him like a spotlight and
pushed Gunner’s thoughts farther down the rabbit hole of fantastical events
that he’d woken up to. He’d turned on his favorite rendition of Mozart’s
‘piano concerto no. 24’ to get lost in the music and calm down, but his mind
raced with questions.
If he died, would he go back to his body, or would Caspian end up in
his skin forever? Would their brains remember what each of them did once

they swapped? Would he go back to his own body once the clock struck
midnight, like Cinderella?
He didn’t deserve a prince though. He didn’t even deserve a good,
guiltless dicking for the way he’d treated Caspian, and maybe the universe
wanted to prove this to him today? The humbling experience of fearing
people intent on hurting him for no reason would stay with him forever, as
would the memory of having a bite of the forbidden fruit.
He’d been allowed a peek at what his life could have been if he’d
been born someone else, and losing that new identity after just one day
would be his punishment. Because Caspian’s actions at the trailer park
proved that he’d never forgive Gunner.
He shot a longing look at the broken neon above the entrance to the
bar. A drink or two would have made everything better. And who knew,
maybe not all the patrons were straight and Gunner could bask in male
attention for a few hours more, forgetting the bitterness at the back of his
tongue.
He was psyching himself to leave the car when his cell phone beeped.
He glanced at it to make sure it wasn’t Caspian, but no, the screen read
Mom.
He answered with a heavy heart. He’d barely known his mom, but
this one made him pancakes and was so nice he didn’t want to worry her by
ignoring the call.
“Hey, what’s up?” Gunner asked, not sure if that was what Caspian
would have said, but staying silent would have been even weirder.
After a short silence, the voice he’d first heard that morning spoke.
“We’re worried about you, Caspian. Will you be home soon? It’s almost
midnight.”

Gunner rubbed his face, but his gaze followed two men leaving the
bar. Both were tall, and he was almost certain he’d seen them around. One
had long hair and a guitar on his back, the other wore a distressed leather
jacket. Gunner would have forgotten all about them if the first one hadn’t
pushed his friend at the wall for a kiss that most definitely shouldn’t have
been happening in public, Gunner looked down at the phone, embarrassed
as if he’d walked in on two people having sex.
“Caspian? Are you there?”
“Yes, Mom. Sorry. It’s been a rough day.”
He stole one more glance at the couple, but they didn’t stay and were
headed toward the Karma motel. He was already missing Caspian’s touch,
regardless of how betrayed he still felt, but good things had always been
temporary in Gunner’s life. Tomorrow, he’d wake up in his old body, and
he’d be grateful for getting to experience one day in someone else’s shoes,
even if right now his ribs ached.
“It’s okay. Come home and we can talk about it.” Fake Mom fumbled
with something. “Yes, he says he’s coming,” she said, likely to Caspian’s
dad.
They cared. They wanted him aro— No. They wanted Caspian.
Gunner was an impostor in their son’s skin.
“See you in a bit,” he said and ended the call.
He might not have been who they were expecting, but they’d been
kind to him and deserved a peaceful night, so he started the car and spent
the next half an hour on autopilot, which switched off only once he arrived
at Caspian’s massive family home and realized he didn’t know how to open
the garage. Fortunately, his fake parents must have noticed his arrival,
because the gate lifted, allowing him to park.

He sat in the dark for a whole minute, unsure how to deal with
confrontation as Caspian, but he couldn’t spend the whole night behind the
wheel and eventually arrived at the front door, which opened before he
could have started worrying about not having keys.
Caspian’s mom already wore a dressing gown over a satin pajama set,
but her eyes widened when she spotted him. “H-hello, dear,” she said, and
while it was obvious she didn’t want to show the extent of her shock, her
gaze slid up and down Gunner’s body in silent judgment.
Right. The new clothes. The tight jeans, the lilac shoes, and the
massive hoodie that clearly didn’t belong to him. He should have thrown it
in Caspian’s face. And yet here he was, curling his fingers around the long
sleeves and wishing he could just hide inside it and soak up Caspian’s scent.
“Hi, I’m sorry. I left the keys home.”
Caspian’s dad walked up to the door in plaid pajamas that resembled
the ones in Caspian’s drawers. “You haven’t been drinking, have you? I
wouldn’t like to see you making a habit out of that. Not to mention that you
were driving—”
“I’m sober, jeez!” Gunner pushed past Caspian’s mom, rigid with
frustration, his leg and ribs aching from bruises that were developing on his
body.
“What are you wearing? Where are your clothes?” Mom asked as the
door shut.
Caspian had intended to go straight to his room, but knew he couldn’t
leave such questions unanswered, so he spun around and spread his arms
wide.
“This is me now. Take it or leave it.”
Caspian’s dad frowned as they all walked farther into the grand house.
“No need to be rude.” He turned to his wife. “Look, Barb, we had all sorts

of fashions back in our day.”
Fake Mom—Barb—shook her head. “Yes, but I’m not recognizing
my son anymore. What’s gotten into you, Caspian?”
A big bad motherfucker with a chip on his shoulder, Gunner wanted
to say but bit his lips and mumbled, “I’m just experimenting.”
“Oh, so you want to change your style… start fresh?” Barb asked,
cupping her cheek with one hand with concern painted all over her face.
“Is that color on your hair permanent? Why didn’t you do any of this
in college, like everyone else?” Fake Dad inquired, frowning.
Gunner ran his fingers through his blond hair. He’d loved it at the
barber’s, and the large mirror confirmed that he still looked cute. “I wanted
to switch things up.”
Barb cleared her throat. “Some men dye their hair now. At least it’s a
nice natural shade,” she said, but then her eyes went wide, and she stepped
up to Gunner. “Is that a piercing in your ear? Caspian! Are you seeing this,
Thomas?”
Gunner spread his arms. “I’m not a child! If I want to get a piercing, I
will. Who knows, maybe I’ll do my nose next!”
“Are you not too old for this kind of rebellious phase?” Barb asked,
gesturing at Gunner’s ear. “It looks unprofessional. What if some of your
clients dislike it?”
Gunner clutched at his hair. “Looks have nothing to do with doing my
job well!” he said, even though he still didn’t know what degree Caspian
had.
“Tell that to all the people who won’t ever get employed because
they’d tattooed their hands or faces.”
The words struck Gunner harder than Bud’s steel-capped boot had.
He clenched his fists, breathing hard. “Sure, just write people off based on

their looks! You don’t know their lives or what led to some of their—”
Thomas rubbed his grey moustache and spoke. “Caspian, I’ve got
work tomorrow. I don’t have time for these theoretical constructs. I
understand you’re adjusting to life after college. We’ll iron out the wrinkles
with time. If you’re looking to reinvent yourself, tomorrow is a good time.
You need a new suit for our garden party, and your mom’s taking you
shopping. You’ll be meeting Mr. Sadler and the rest of the firm as a future
employee, and need to make a good impression if you’re to put your best
foot forward for the job.”
Gunner screamed out in helpless rage, because there was nowhere
else he could channel it. “Fine!” He took a swipe at a notebook resting on
the edge of the side table, and sent it to the floor with a clatter.
“Caspian!” Barb held her finger up in warning, but Gunner was
already running upstairs. While he wouldn’t have to worry about any of
those expectations come tomorrow, they now felt oppressive and very much
real. The demands of Caspian’s parents were a bitter reminder that he
wasn’t good enough, even in this body, with a smooth face that didn’t carry
the mark of his worst decisions.
His fake parents must have given up for tonight, because he couldn’t
hear any shouting or footsteps banging on the stairs as he stepped into the
dark bedroom and turned the key to lock himself in. He was midway
through a frantic inhale when big, strong hands closed around him and
pulled him against a sturdy body. He wanted to scream out, but a meaty
palm closed tightly on his face and would block any sound.
Was it Bud? Todd? Had they both snuck in here to finish what they’d
started?
Panic sank into his muscles when he realized he couldn’t breathe, but
before he could have thrown the first ineffective punch, ready to fight for

his life, a familiar voice whispered straight into his ear.
“What the hell was that downstairs, huh?”
He should know his own voice, yet it sounded different when he
heard it through someone else’s ears. Deep and raspy, it sent chills down his
back. He stilled at the realization that the massive hand against his face and
the body squeezing him from behind weren’t a threat. The scent of cologne
he didn’t know enveloped him in a confusing mix of fear and excitement.
Caspian must have been there for a while and used a perfume from his own
collection instead of the cheap cologne Gunner had at home. It had a
thrilling, spicy quality that made Gunner’s toes curl in his pretty new shoes,
even though he was still angry at the treasonous bastard.
“And don’t you walk out on me again. I told you to wait in the car,”
Caspian said. When he inhaled and the breath tickled Gunner’s scalp, it felt
like being smelled by a predator who still considered whether he wanted to
eat his prey now or leave it for later.
He whimpered and tried to fight the firm hold of steel-hard arms, but
his struggling achieved nothing. A jolt of arousal ricocheted in his balls the
moment he remembered Caspian tying his wrists back with the belt.
But Caspian didn’t try to undress him and took his warm hand off
Gunner’s lips before spinning him around so they faced one another in the
dark. He loomed over Gunner like the hottest manifestation of danger.
Gunner didn’t want to show how much Caspian’s presence affected
him, but he didn’t manage to keep his lips from trembling. He could have
screamed, and Caspian’s parents would have come running, but he wasn’t
in danger and had no right to chase Caspian out of his own room. “I didn’t
wanna wait, and I still don’t want to see your traitor face.”
Caspian snorted. “I thought you wanted me to have a good
relationship with those fuckers you call friends.”

Gunner’s mouth went dry, but Caspian held him by the shoulders
when he tried to step back, away from that inquisitive gaze. “Yeah, but…
not like that. Like, I’m really small now, okay? Everything hurts.”
Caspian went still, his face stern like that of some old sculpture.
“You’re right.”
Gunner frowned. “I am?”
Caspian sighed and spread his arms. “Yes. I wanted you to learn a
lesson on how it is to be in my shoes, but it was also cruel and
unnecessary.”
Gunner took a few steps back and hugged himself, unsure what to do
with this declaration. He wasn’t used to talking about feelings honestly.
“And you regret it?”
Caspian rubbed the top of his head, chewing on his lip before he
spoke. “Yeah. It was a shitty thing to do, but I got so angry that I just went
with what my gut was telling me. And I acted like a terrible person. I’m
sorry,” he said, stuffing both hands into his pockets.
“You don’t… You don’t think I deserved it?” Gunner mumbled and
turned on the bedside lamp, just to do something with his hands, but as his
adrenaline levels dropped, every movement reminded him of what had
happened, creating a cycle of discomfort.
Caspian’s lips twisted, but he stood in the middle of the room, rigid
like a statue. “I did. But you were defenseless. It wasn’t fair. I thought I was
the better man, but maybe I’m not,” he said, exhaling as he met Gunner’s
gaze.
“I told Noah. About the thing.”
“That you’re gay?”
“No!” Gunner whined and pulled off the hoodie to hide his face in its
folds, even if just for a moment. “About the body swap. I’m pretty sure I

convinced him, and we kinda talked about some things I did in the past.
And how maybe this situation is my fault. That maybe the universe is trying
to tell me I need to change my ways or whatever.” He took a deep breath
and looked Caspian’s way with a heavy sensation in the chest, “I’m also
sorry. For yesterday. I shouldn’t have let them do what they did. I see that
now.”
Caspian might’ve honestly regretted the way he’d handled the
situation at the trailer park, but the truth was that it allowed Gunner to
understand the terror he’d put Caspian through the previous evening.
They’d surrounded him, and he’d been unable to fight back. Gunner could
only imagine how Caspian had felt when the guys pulled his pants down
just to mock him.
With eyes stubbornly welling up in a way they never did in his own
body, Gunner shoved the hoodie at Caspian for distraction. But before he
could have gotten away, Caspian grabbed his wrist and stared at a bruise
forming above his elbow.
“Shit. How hurt are you?” he asked in a voice that was oddly soft for
a man his size.
“I don’t know. What I’m saying is that I probably deserved it
anyway.”
But Caspian wouldn’t give it a rest and urged Gunner to take off his
top. There had been quite a lot of pain since the altercation with Bud and
the Brown brothers, but the sight of ugly bruises forming on his side and
stomach still came as a surprise. His arm didn’t look much better.
Caspian’s face became grimmer with every new mark discovered on
Gunner’s body, and he kneeled by the bed, gently touching the bruises with
his fingertips in a tender way that didn’t seem even remotely sexual. Yet the
gentleness of his hands still made Gunner close his eyes. Sandy had never

done that when he’d come back from a boxing match with the taste of blood
on his tongue and a swollen face. As if the discomfort he’d suffered was
just a fact of life and didn’t need any special attention. But Caspian was
there for him, worried as if Gunner had at least suffered a broken bone.
“I know, I know, I injured your body. I’m sorry. I should have been
more careful.”
Caspian swallowed and faced him. “Bruises will fade. But you had to
be in this skin when it happened, and I could have helped. It’s my fault. Lie
down,” he said and walked to the ensuite.
“You’re not mad about it?” Gunner mumbled and did as told.
Fatigue settled in his muscles the moment he rested his head on the
pillow, as if the stress of this past day had only caught up with him.
“It’s not your fault those damn gorillas targeted you,” Caspian said,
reappearing with a plastic bowl of water and two dry cloths. “I know how it
is. You’re doing your own thing, and some asshole just chooses to fuck your
day up out of boredom.” He sat on the bed, dunked the pieces of fabric in
the water and placed them on Gunner’s ribs and stomach, where he’d gotten
hit the hardest. Cool yet not unpleasantly so, the damp compresses offered
instant relief.
In the faint glow of the lamp, the frown on Caspian’s face appeared
deeper, and he was so focused on his task Gunner chose to stay still and let
him do his thing.
The heavy silence must have weighed on them both, because Caspian
finally spoke. “I won’t let this ever happen again. No one’s gonna hurt you
on my watch.”
Gunner choked up. He’d learned to fend for himself at an early age
and had been his dad’s pushover, Noah’s protector, always on his toes
around ’friends’ to avoid showing weakness. No one had ever promised to

keep him safe, but despite the grudge Caspian held toward him, he was
being sincere.
“Why?” was the single thing that came to Gunner’s mind as his heart
drummed at a frantic pace, desperate to communicate that it wanted to
believe those promises, even though they were made by an almost-stranger
who’d been Gunner’s enemy only a day ago.
Caspian cleared his throat, looking away, but the twitching at the side
of his jaw betrayed how nervous he was. “Because it’s right. And because I
can. And because I want to,” he said, his gaze spearing Gunner’s bruised
chest.
Gunner knew he shouldn’t, knew he ought to be angry, but he
couldn’t help himself and ran his fingers over Caspian’s thick, muscular
forearm. The temptation to roll into bed with the man who promised to
protect him became too strong.
“We’ll change back tomorrow. The universe, or whatever, has taught
me my lesson.”
Caspian’s shoulders sagged, and he entwined their fingers.
“You really think so?”
Gunner nodded. “It makes sense. Happened after I… hurt you last
night.”
Caspian mumbled something and rubbed his face. “Back to the
drawing board, huh? At least I won’t have to transport drugs and pretend I
know how to box.”
“And I won’t have to work out what suit to choose for a party where I
don’t fit in, to secure a job I can’t do. I don’t even know what you used to
study.”
But for all that talk, Gunner was missing this new body already. He
squeezed Caspian’s hand, but instead of giving it a shake, Caspian pulled it

to his face, pressing a kiss to the delicate skin at the inner side of Gunner’s
wrist.
“It doesn’t matter now.”
How was Gunner to let go of this gentle touch? Sure, he liked the
pancakes, the big house, and comfy bed, but this? What he’d shared with
Caspian today? He mourned the loss already.
“It doesn’t. I don’t need to pretend when I’m with you.”
Caspian nodded, rubbing Gunner’s arm. “Can I stay here tonight?” he
asked, as if it wasn’t his house, his room, and his bed. But he wasn’t asking
for a more comfortable sleep. Like Gunner, he didn’t want to let go of this
strange dream yet.
Gunner pulled him onto the bed. “Yeah, Sandy can be loud in the
morning and you need the rest.” A stupid excuse to be close. He had no idea
how he would live on in his old body after today.
Back to being a big bad bastard with a tattooed face.
Back to ‘friends’ whom he didn’t trust.
Back to constant financial worries and the ever-looming threat of
Snowman’s boss sending Gunner to the bottom of a lake with sandbags
attached to his ankles.
But tonight, he could be the sweet boy Caspian desired, and when the
other man leaned in, Gunner shut his eyes before warm lips touched his in a
soft, soothing kiss. So unlike the greedy ones from before yet just as
delicious.
He wrapped his arms around the thick neck, and even the pain in his
ribs subsided when Caspian slid his thigh between Gunner’s legs. Their
earlier conflict didn’t matter, and all of it would unravel tomorrow anyway,
so what would be this one more indulgence? Until the dream lasted, Gunner

chose to believe the big guy stroking his side was his man and his protector.
It was okay to be vulnerable and sweet with him.
Neither of them was in a hurry this time, and even when Gunner’s
cock hardened from all that touching and kissing, he didn’t try to push for
more and raised his chin in submission, accepting each and every peck
Caspian showered on his neck, then down his chest. He opened his eyes and
peeked down in time to see Caspian rub the tip of his nose against Gunner’s
nipple before teasing it with the underside of his tongue.
The unexpected pleasure of the caress made him gasp, and he petted
Caspian’s nape before glancing to the door. “Are you sure your parents
won’t—”
“Their bedroom is on the other side of the house, and they respect the
locked door.”
Of course. Because they were nice. Nothing like Gunner’s father had
been.
Caspian returned for a kiss that was gentle but sparked something
inside Gunner, prompting him to arch his body against the muscular form
above.
“It’s just us,” Caspian promised before returning to Gunner’s nipples,
squeezing both between his fingers, then sucking on each one and rubbing
his rough tongue against the sensitive flesh.
He was such a beast. He could have rolled Gunner over and fucked
him again, and Gunner would have let him. But that wasn’t what this
moment was about. For the first time, Caspian was taking his time to
explore every bit of the wonderful, smooth form. And Gunner wanted that
too.
“It’s nice to be in your body, but not have to pretend to be you. Does
that make sense?” Gunner ran his fingers through the short hair on top of

Caspian’s head and met the dark gaze. The faint light of the bedside lamp
blurred the edges between their bodies and cast long shadows, creating an
intimate atmosphere.
“Yeah. It is,” Caspian agreed and blew hot breath on Gunner’s skin as
he moved lower and pressed his mouth to the bulge at the front of Gunner’s
jeans. He kept staring up too, as if he wasn’t in the least bit embarrassed by
this gesture.
Gunner groaned and spread his thighs in invitation. “How are you this
hot? I had no idea I was so irresistible.”
Caspian laughed and moved like a rattlesnake, biting Gunner’s left
nipple, and then resting his weight on top of Gunner as he nipped on his lip.
“Right back at you. Such a fine piece of ass. And only mine,” he said,
rocking his hips against Gunner’s.
Gunner slid his fingers up Caspian’s T-shirt, pulling it up as he trailed
each rib. This was what he wanted as a gay man. Not to go on Grindr and
hook up with strangers or find new dick each day. He craved to belong, to
be the apple of another man’s eye.
He wanted to be Caspian’s.
He chuckled and kissed Caspian under the stubbly chin. “You like
touching yourself?”
Caspian swallowed, staring back at him with slack features. “I think
I’ll like it more from now on,” he said and moved back down, settling
between Gunner’s thighs and opening his skinny jeans. “Even my cock
looks better on you.”
Gunner snickered as he pulled the T-shirt off Caspian, ready to
indulge in whatever this stud wanted to unleash on him. “I felt amazing
when you had it in your mouth. It’s so pink, and fits this body.”

The smile stretching Caspian’s face was genuine and so warm even
the hyena skull tattoo looked exciting rather than menacing. Gunner
whimpered when the denim was peeled off him, but Caspian didn’t intend
to wait and removed Gunner’s underwear too before gently tapping the
swollen cockhead.
“Tasted pretty good too,” he whispered. When he lowered himself,
resting his elbows between Gunner’s thighs, Gunner’s flesh became so
sensitive he could feel the gentlest breeze, and his skin broke out in
goosebumps when Caspian licked his way from Gunner’s balls to his shaft.
The illicit pleasure of watching his own face sucking cock was as
arousing as it was confusing. “All yours,” Gunner whispered, because
saying it any louder would have felt too real. But in the world of his
fantasies, on this big, comfortable bed, they belonged to one another
forever.
Thick, warm fingers dug into his thighs, and he shuddered when
Caspian rubbed his stubbly chin against their sensitive insides. But then he
leaned forward and rolled his tongue over Gunner’s balls before sucking the
wrinkled skin as if he’d never sampled anything more delicious.
When the universe had decided to teach him a lesson, had it known
he’d be craving to stay in the body of the man he’d hurt? Even being so
short, so much weaker than he was used to, and too dumb to understand
anything about the job Caspian was to take on, he would have chosen to
stay like this. Desired. Protected by a man who was truly good at the core.
He moaned and clenched Caspian’s shoulder, his cock throbbing with
the desire to come already.
He hadn’t known just how much he needed for someone else to take
the reins. To set the tone and take care of him. Tomorrow morning, he’d be
back living his shitty life, but didn’t want to focus on that when Caspian

touched him with so much hunger, licking, rubbing, and sucking without
shame.
He looked so damn hot when his cheeks hollowed around the hard
prick in his mouth, but it was when their eyes met that Gunner really
couldn’t stop himself from squirming with lust. Rough fingers ghosted in
the crack of Gunner’s ass, and one of them slid in, reminding Gunner of the
times he’d been fucked today, the slight burn added to the pressure
mounting in his balls.
He was such a fucking slut for getting dicked.
When the teasing took him over the edge, he grabbed a pillow and put
it over his face, arching violently as orgasm ripped through him in hurried
waves.
Caspian didn’t pull away, didn’t resist when Gunner rocked against
him, fucking the wet, hot vacuum of his mouth, and only let the cock out
once it started to soften. He pulled the pillow off Gunner’s face, as if he
wanted more than just a pliant body to fuck. The room was still spinning
around Gunner’s spent form when Caspian straddled his hips and freed his
fat dick with a groan of relief. He spat on his hand, squeezed Gunner’s
nipple and grabbed his own cock.
“You’re so hot.”
Despite barely catching his breath, Gunner squeezed Caspian’s thigh.
“Come here, I wanna see it up close. I want it so close you drizzle my face
with spunk when you come.” His cheeks were on fire when he said it, but
this was his one night in the small body, and he would not censor himself.
Yes, he did want cum shooting from that dick on his lips and cheeks.
He wouldn’t shower after it happened, and tomorrow, Caspian would wake
up with the memento of crusty, dried spunk.

The brown gaze flickered with arousal, and Caspian rolled his hips
forward, pointing his meat straight at Gunner as he started jerking off. The
thick, purple cockhead kept disappearing in his fist, only to reveal itself
again, deliciously slick with pre-cum Gunner wanted to gather with his
tongue.
“That’s what you want slut? For me to turn your face into abstract
art?” Caspian growled, his cheeks a dark red.
Gunner locked his eyes with Caspian with the thick cock right above
his face. “Yes. Go on. Fill my greedy mouth.” He spread his lips and rolled
his tongue out in invitation. He’d never been in such a sexual frenzy.
Caspian had opened him as if he were a shaken bottle of champagne, and
there was no end to his fizz.
Caspian’s thighs tightened around his chest, trembling, and his body
stiffened in preparation for what was to come. He let out a frantic grunt and
covered Gunner’s eyes with one hand.
Gunner wanted to protest and see the prick erupt straight at him, but
when the first splash of salty cum hit his mouth, he held it open,
anticipating each and every string of sticky heat marking his flesh.
“Oh fuck. Oh fuck,” Caspian hummed, and his thighs trembled under
Gunner’s fingers.
Gunner exhaled when Caspian took his hand away, and once it
became clear there was no more cum coming, he stuck his tongue out as far
as it could go and scooped the musky liquid. He gathered some cum off his
cheek with his fingers and sucked that off too while glancing at Caspian
from under lowered eyelids. If only he had a few more days, he’d make
Caspian as obsessed with him as it already was the other way around.
“Happy, stud?”

Caspian was still catching his breath when he nodded and leaned in,
offering Gunner whatever was left of the cum at the tip of his prick. “Fair
warning. Don’t get cum in your eyes. That stuff stings like a motherfucker.”
A ball of cotton candy sprouted in Gunner’s stomach. It wouldn’t stop
rolling around and releasing butterflies as Gunner sucked Caspian’s cock
clean, wordlessly thanking him for taking such care not to hurt him.
“And you know that from experience?” Gunner teased, stroking up
Caspian’s treasure trail and licking spunk off Caspian’s hand when it was
offered to him. The salty flavor spread over his tongue and covered his
entire mouth, leaving him purring.
Caspian chuckled and rolled to the mattress, lazily trying to kick off
his clothes. “It’s a rite of passage,” he said, his eyes flickering with humor
as he glanced at Gunner.
“Let me do this for you, since you’re such a gentleman.” Gunner
grinned and pulled Caspian’s jeans and underwear off, before relieving him
of socks too.
Gunner folded it all on the chair, weirdly emotional about the whole
thing, but as he returned to bed, Caspian was already waiting for him under
the covers, one arm lifting the comforter in invitation.
“Come here.”
Gunner was so eager to be back in the safety of those big arms he
tripped and fell right into the embrace. A part of him didn’t want to sleep
and let this day end, but his eyelids felt as if rocks were attached to his
lashes.
Caspian dropped the comforter and stretched on the bed, pulling
Gunner close, until his head rested on Caspian’s thick bicep and his leg
straddled one of Caspian’s.
He fell asleep so fast he didn’t even know when it happened.

Chapter 16 - Gunner
The harsh beep of the alarm clock startled Gunner so much he almost
sat up in bed.
Almost.
Because a heavy arm kept him down as if he were a kitten stuck under
a Mastiff’s paw. He blinked several times, trying to work out what was
going on when reality struck him like lightning. This was Caspian’s room.
He moved his head over the pillow and stilled, looking at the
handsome profile that used to belong to him. The facial tattoo side bared its
teeth at him, but he wasn’t sure whether the hyena skull was snarling in
warning or grinning.
Caspian rubbed his cheek, frowned, and stretched his arm while
rolling to his side so he could reach the offending alarm clock. The screech
stopped like a bird that had been shot off a tree, but Caspian yawned and
rolled back, pressing his face to Gunner’s hair, still half-asleep.
Gunner was about to wake him, but the presence of someone else in
his bed must have been alarming enough, because Caspian’s brown eyes
flew open, and he blinked, sucking in air as if he expected a stab in the
chest.
“You’re here!”

Gunner slipped out from under Caspian’s arm, all too aware of the
crustiness on his face. Leaving it on had seemed like a good idea last night.
Now? Not so much.
“Yeah I’m here! What the fuck?” He jumped out of bed and spread
his arms.
“You said we’d be back to normal by morning. And I didn’t question
it, like the idiot I am,” Caspian mused, sitting on the edge of the bed with
his head hung and tense shoulders.
“I don’t know. Aren’t you the one with the college degree and shit?”
Gunner’s lungs were working overtime, and he couldn’t focus, too
overwhelmed by the unknown.
They were stuck, and while he loved being in Caspian’s skin, this
fantasy needed to end. He had a brother to take care of and didn’t know a
thing about the fancy life he’d be supposed to lead if he stayed like this. He
hadn’t even finished high school, so there was only so long he could
pretend he knew what was doing at Caspian’s shiny new job.
“I don’t have a degree in fucking magic,” Caspian said and stood,
rubbing his palm over the top of his head.
Gunner stalled, unable to take his eyes off the V-shaped muscles he’d
worked so hard to maintain. How was he to think with all that hotness on
show?
“I’ll think about it in the shower.” He shook his head and dashed to
the en suite bathroom. The banging of heels made Gunner speed up to
escape the giant chasing him, but Caspian blocked the bathroom door with
his leg and wouldn’t let him close it.
“Don’t run from me!”
This was starting to become a pattern. Gunner took a deep breath and
turned to face Caspian. “I’m not!” He so was. “I just… I’m not gonna greet

your dad with cum on my face, am I?”
Caspian’s brows rose and he pushed the door open, stepping right into
the bathroom. No privacy then.
“We can talk about this while we shower.” He walked straight into the
large stall in the corner, offering Gunner an excellent view of the tattooed
shoulders, but also the broad, muscular back and strong legs.
The bathroom was as gray and stark as Caspian’s bedroom, but there
was a serene quality to it, which complimented Caspian’s tall, masculine
form. In this space of glass and tile, he didn’t hit the ceiling with the top of
his head, and the stall was perfectly suitable to fit them both.
Gunner followed Caspian like the horny sheep he was. “Okay. But…
you know this can’t go on, right?”
Caspian stilled and glanced over his shoulder as the first droplets of
water from the rain shower hit the floor. “It’s not that bad.”
Gunner stepped in, watching Caspian in confusion. “What? You must
want your life back.” He’d be getting cramps in his neck from looking up.
Was Caspian this tall or he this short?
Caspian adjusted the temperature of the water and stepped under the
stream, releasing a soft exhale. “I mean… I now live with an extended
family of cockroaches, and there’s this debt I need to take care of, but I
could work things out. Just look at me. Look at this body.” He spread his
long arms and made a slow turn, presenting his godlike form while warm
droplets cascaded down the bulging muscles.
Gunner could barely breathe, so he washed his face, standing on the
very edge of the stall.
“But—”
“No ‘buts’. I’ve got the perfect dick, don’t you think?”

Gunner bit his lip as he glanced at the thick tool, but then compared it
to the one attached to his own new body. “I’m not… too small, right?” he
asked, suddenly self-conscious.
Caspian stalled, and his gaze slid down Gunner’s stomach, to his soft
cock. It was unnerving to see him take his time with the answer, but he
shook his head in the end and took Gunner’s hand. “No. It fits you. And it
tastes good too. We don’t all have to be the same,” he whispered, pulling
Gunner under the artificial rain, which sank into Gunner’s fluffy blond hair
and drizzled down his body.
Gunner hesitated, but wrapped his arms around Caspian’s waist,
putting his cheek against the meaty pec. “I have… obligations in my life. I
can’t just become a happy-go-lucky twink. That’s not me.”
But when Caspian’s arms locked around him, there was nothing he
wanted more than to remain his sweet, pliant boy. To let Caspian take care
of him. To sleep in a soft bed and no longer worry whether he’d have food
on the table next week. To no longer feel the weight of the world on
shoulders that, while strong and sturdy, always felt like they were about to
crack.
Caspian kissed the top of Gunner’s head and reached for the shower
gel. The fruity scent of the soap Gunner had brought here yesterday
perfumed the damp air. “There’s the debt and Noah. Anything else?”
Gunner could have melted into Caspian and the comfort he provided
by suggesting that no problem was without a solution. “It’s not that simple.
I have to make the payments on time, and I don’t exactly have a steady job.
The debt keeps coming at me like a wave that can’t be stopped. And then I
don’t know how to handle Sandy, even though I don’t think she even likes
me.”
“You no longer need to worry about her.”

Gunner stopped breathing and looked up into the dark eyes. “You
killed her? No! She’s annoying, but not—”
Caspian frowned. “What?” He stepped back before Gunner could
have reacted. “What the fuck? I just made her move out. Did you kill
someone that it was even an idea in your head?” he asked with a squeaky
note in his voice.
“No!” Gunner said quickly. “I just…don’t know you that well, and
thought maybe you wanted to kill someone without consequences. Since it’s
not your body…” Caspian’s deepening frown made him shut up. “I got it.
I’m happy you don’t.”
Caspian blinked, resting his hands on his hips with his gaze stern as if
he’d been born to become a drill sergeant. “You better not, because bullying
and dealing drugs are one thing, but murder crosses the line of things I
could live with.”
Gunner spread his arms, frustrated by how short they were. The
come-at-me! gesture didn’t work so well when he was five-three. “I’ve
done some bad shit, but I’m not a murderer! Wait. Sandy. She didn’t take
my cat, did she?”
Caspian shook his head and stepped closer, rubbing his soaped-up
hands down Gunner’s shoulders. “No. She said he was yours. Does he need
to see a vet over this leaking nose?”
Shame hit Gunner like a bag of bricks, and he lowered his gaze, but
that resulted in even greater awkwardness when he zeroed in on Caspian’s
dick. “I can’t afford it right now…”
Caspian was silent as he massaged the sweet-smelling foam into
Gunner’s neck before moving his hands to the smooth chest. “Actually, you
can.”

Gunner stroked up all the way to Caspian’s pec and put his hand over
his heart. “I can?”
Caspian exhaled but didn’t stop lathering Gunner’s body. “I won’t lie
that I’m not dreading my credit card bill for after the spree you’ve had
yesterday, but Fluffer needs some help. We’ll make it happen.”
Gunner smiled and arched into Caspian’s touch like a happy cat. He’d
sometimes dreamed what living as a pet would be like. Taken care of, fed,
and free to lounge in the sun all day. “Thanks. I love the little fucker,” he
admitted.
“What about your brother though? What did you end up telling him?”
Gunner closed his eyes when Caspian went on to wash his hair and
soapy suds slipped down his face. “A thing only I’d know, and he believed
it was me. Maybe he’ll be able to help us. Don’t… I didn’t tell him I’m gay
though, so keep that on the down low.”
He sensed Caspian’s judgment in the way he slowed down the scalp
massage, and while he braced himself for the questions coming his way, he
still felt defenseless when Caspian spoke.
“Why not? What’s the big issue? He seemed fine with it when he saw
us.”
Gunner huffed and ran his palms up and down Caspian’s sides.
“‘Cause it’s not… It’s not like me. We’ll work out what’s going on with us,
and I don’t wanna deal with yet another issue when I’m back in there.”
“I’d say it’s very much like you. Being gay really suits you,” Caspian
whispered, pushing back Gunner’s lathered mane before directing him
under the stream of water, so it would all wash off.
“For now just let Noah think it’s the body. I don’t know how to talk to
him about it. It changes everything he knows about me. I’m his big brother.
I’m supposed to protect him. He’s been through enough shit.”

Caspian let go of Gunner and handed him the pink bottle before
grabbing one from his own collection. The brown shower gel disturbed the
perfect sweetness of the air with a spicy, wood-like aroma. “He’s got scars.
What happened?”
“He was in a car accident two years ago. His passenger didn’t make it.
He survived but spent months in rehabilitation and still has issues. It’s…”
Gunner took a deep breath of the scented air. “I went into debt so he could
get the best care, but I don’t exactly have a good credit score, so it is what it
is.”
“Oh… so the only way you could pay for it was to borrow money
from a loan shark?” Caspian asked. Gunner shrunk under the weight of
shame, but there was no judgment in Caspian’s gaze. “I didn’t… I didn’t
think you’d do something like this.”
Gunner stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel softer than a
kitten’s fur. “Why? ‘Cause I’m a shitty person?”
“What would you have thought if you were in my place?” Caspian
asked, quickly washing his body.
Gunner thought back to how he’d felt yesterday, helpless against three
guys who’d shoved him around and kicked him. He stilled, wrapping
himself in the massive towel. “Yeah, I wouldn’t expect much of someone
like me.”
“Maybe you should? Who knows how long we’ll live in these bodies.
We need to work something out.”
“We can’t stay like this! What’s that amazing job your parents keep
mentioning?” Gunner rubbed his face to hide it for that bit longer. He
couldn’t handle Caspian’s life no matter how exciting living in this body
was.

“I’m an accountant,” Caspian said with a little smile stretching his
lips as he switched off the water and grabbed a spare towel. “Scared of
numbers?”
“Fuck!” Gunner raised his hands in frustration. He didn’t bother
picking up the towel as he walked back into the room to get dressed. “I
could wing being a manager or something, but I don’t know shit about
accounting. Noah’s mom does my taxes, for fuck’s sake. I kinda… I kinda
thought you might be a piano player.”
Caspian blinked. “That’s… obscure. How do you know I play the
piano?” he asked and wrapped the towel around his hips, following Gunner
into the bedroom.
Gunner put on one of the new pairs of boxers he’d gotten yesterday,
with a pattern of ice cream cones. “I was just… Your parents might have
said something. And when I touched the keys, there was this feeling that I
could.”
Caspian rubbed his head and picked his clothes up from the floor. “I
learned to play because it’s a tradition in Dad’s family. Everyone needs to
learn how to play an instrument of their choice. And they were very proud
of me winning some contests, but I don’t really enjoy it and rarely play
nowadays.”
“Well, then we’re fucked, because I don’t know how to be gay, don’t
know how to do accountancy, and your parents already noticed that there’s
something fishy about me. What about you? You seem strangely chill about
all this.” Gunner pulled on the new jeans and hesitated, holding up the big
hoodie, but handed it to Caspian.
“Because this is what I wanted. I no longer have a reason to be scared
of other guys. I am a stud!” Caspian gestured at his broad chest with a wide
smile.

Gunner watched him in disbelief. “So you just wanna take over my
life?”
Caspian pulled on his jeans and shrugged. “I’m gonna fix your life.
Carpe diem, Gunner!”
His confidence was both infuriating and arousing. Gunner bit his lip,
about to speak when someone knocked on the door.
“Honey! We’re leaving in a bit!” Barb yelled from the other side, and
Gunner’s eyes went wide.
“I’m supposed to choose a suit,” he whispered to Caspian in panic,
out of breath as if he’d just run a marathon. “What am I supposed to pick?”
Caspian froze, staring at the closed door with shoulders so stiff it
looked painful. “Just… a nice suit,” he said, swiftly putting on the
remaining clothes while Barb knocked once more. “Whatever you like. It’s
your life now.” He smiled and planted a sweet kiss on Gunner’s lips before
climbing out the window.
Was it? Was this his life now?

Chapter 17 – Caspian
Could a man get high from handling drugs? Or inhaling invisible
particles floating through the air? His mind denied it, but the sense of
weightlessness that transformed his head into a balloon filled with helium
screamed that his system had somehow absorbed whatever substance they’d
been moving.
He’d been on pins and needles throughout the long drive between Grit
and Columbus, wary of every siren, every police car spotted on the way.
But no one stopped them, and the exchange of drugs for money went as
smoothly as any other transaction. Buying a television set took longer.
And now what? Caspian had no idea who he worked for or how many
times Gunner had taken such risks to pay off a debt he’d taken on to help
his little brother. What was the protocol? He remained quiet while their—
What? Customers? Partners?—packed up and left the dark street in the
deserted industrial area on the outskirts of the city, but once they were gone,
he was stuck with the people he hated, didn’t trust, and without his own
truck.
“Jeez, I’m tired,” he said, watching Bud and the Brown brothers for
cues.

Despite them having a fight the previous night, Todd patted him on
the back. Maybe in the world of thugs little scuffles were a daily
occurrence, like in a pack of wolves.
“I bet you’re not too tired for a visit to Tiffany’s,” Todd said, and his
silent brother grinned with appreciation.
Caspian frowned. “I don’t think they’re open at night.” Or was it their
idea of fun to rob a jewelry store now that the drug deal had been finalized?
Bud laughed. “Tiffany’s Babes keep their legs open at all hours.”
Oh goddamn it.
“Not feeling it tonight. Next time?” Caspian proposed and yawned as
realistically as he could. “I feel as if I’d been knocked out in the ring.”
Todd shrugged. “By who? Your tiny student? I mean, he’s tall enough
to punch your dick, so I guess it would make sense, but it’s our tradition.
We gotta go see the girls while we’re here with all this fresh cash.”
“We’re not married to tradition. Let’s just go home,” he said and
moved toward Bud’s van as if it was a done deal. He sure hoped confidence
would be enough to put an end to this stressful night. Transporting drugs
had been enough excitement for one evening, and he definitely didn’t want
to sit on his ass and feign interest in strippers.
Bud snorted, following him toward the van parked in front of a
massive warehouse. “If you don’t want to go to Tiff’s, get yourself an Uber.
I’m not wasting the trip.”
Caspian’s fate was sealed then.
He had a hard time keeping distaste out of his voice, but he was still
reliant on those fuckers, so he took the wad of cash Todd pushed at him and
stuffed it in his pocket. “Fine. Lead the way to the pit of Jezebels.”
“Pit for jizz more like,” Bud laughed, toying with the shirt stretched
over his pot belly. Caspian was getting a growing feeling that he was most

eager out of the three, but the brothers went off to their car, and so Caspian
was stuck with Bud.
When the door on his side shut, locking him in the messy cab. The air
inside smelled sharply of pine-scented air freshener, which barely obscured
a stale odor that reminded Caspian of the funk clinging to the bottom of
dirty trash cans.
So here it was. He’d just handled Class-A drugs, and as if that hadn’t
been bad enough, he’d have to now pretend to have an interest in women.
When the car moved, following the vehicle belonging to the Brown
brothers, the inevitability of a couple of hours more in the company of those
three troglodytes made him want to scream. How the hell was he supposed
to act at the club?
Bud went on about his inappropriate fantasies on the way there, but
Caspian only tuned in when Sandy’s name popped out of Bud’s mouth.
“I wanted to know if that’s okay with you.”
“What?” Caspian squinted, unsure what he’d heard.
“You know, to ask Sandy out. She’s not like some of those other golddigging whores. That girl’s really something, and since you’re not…”
Caspian wouldn’t have pegged her for wife material, but he supposed
that to someone like Bud she was the pinnacle of feminine charms,
especially that he’d badmouthed her just the day before. Also, she was most
definitely a gold digger, but that wasn’t his problem anymore.
“I have nothing against it. Things burned out between us, you know.
Go ahead.”
There, Gunner had tried to get her out of his hair for God-knew how
long, and Caspian had managed to do it within a day.
He mentally patted himself on the back.

“You’re a real friend, Gun,” Bud said and gave his shoulder a brief
squeeze. Caspian still couldn’t comprehend that he’d had several fights with
Bud since yesterday, and the man still didn’t consider him an enemy.
By the time they arrived at the club, Caspian knew all the strippers’
names, their specialities and how big their breasts were. Bud had ranked
them too, and didn’t spare Caspian the details.
He wondered how Gunner had managed to fool his friends into
believing he enjoyed outings like this, but it all became clear when they
entered the club buzzing with loud, pulsing music. It was large, but not
glamorous in the slightest, with all the spotlights focused on the girls, which
left everything else in shadow.
Nobody would see just how uninterested his shlong was in the lady
swirling around a pole in latex boots with heels so high they forced her feet
into a shape reminiscent of a tiptoeing ballerina.
The air smelled of the smoke swirling through the air around the
dancer, beer, booze and sweat, and the colorful lights didn’t even reflect off
the dark walls and platforms, as if this place were a black hole. How long
would they stay here? Until Bud got off? Caspian could only hope it would
be a quick affair.
“Hey there ladies,” Todd smiled and opened his arms, staring at two
women in skimpy gold bikinis. They must have known he had money on
him, because they flocked to him like wasps to a donut dropped in the park.
Bud pointed out a Black woman with long braids and yelled, so
Caspian could hear him over the music. “That’s Ralph’s favorite. ‘Cause
she’s mute. Get it?” he whispered to Caspian, and it took a while to
understand the joke. Right. Because Ralph didn’t speak much.
“Isn’t he married though?” Caspian asked. He realized he’d said the
wrong thing the moment Bud frowned, so he laughed out loud and slapped

the dumb bastard’s back. “Got you!”
Okay then. Caspian shouldn’t be surprised that these guys were
cheaters on top of being bullies and drug dealers, but he sure hoped Gunner
didn’t share that habit. Just thinking about Gunner being with another man
right now, behind Caspian’s back, made liquid fire pump into his veins and
he stopped listening to the conversations around him.
He followed Bud in the dark, but just as he was about to reach for his
phone and check on Gunner, a slender hand slid around his, and soft flesh
clad in thin fabric rubbed against his skin.
He froze and stared at the busty woman clinging to his arm. What was
the code of conduct in this place? In movies, customers were never allowed
to touch the girls, though technically he wasn’t the one doing the touching.
“Hello there,” he said and cringed at the stupidity of this line. Then
again, he had no idea what was expected of him here, and maybe by
holding on to this lady, he’d be left unbothered by anyone else.
Women had never expressed interest in him, so he easily flew under
the radar when it came to being gay. This was literally virgin territory for
him.
Todd patted his shoulder from behind but spoke to the woman. “This
one broke up with his girl yesterday, I think he needs some comfort.”
Bud snorted. “Yeah, in her tits.”
Caspian glanced at the breasts covered in tattoos of state flags and
instantly knew from Bud’s earlier descriptions that this had to be Marvel,
which was most definitely not her real name.
Could he spend time with this one sitting next to him while other girls
danced? Or would she soon need to get up on one of the stages and leave
him to fend for himself? There were fewer customers around than he’d
expected, but the crowd of guys cheering on the girl in ballet shoes was

large enough to liven up the space, even though the rest of the club was
sparsely peppered with men sitting alone or in small groups.
Gunner knew those women, but Caspian was stuck wanting to ask
how she’d been, because what if that was too personal of a question? On the
way here, Bud had talked about the girls as if they were friends, but what
the hell could he know if he only came over once or twice a month to get a
lap dance? Gunner should have warned Caspian of the tradition he observed
with his buddies and told him how to act around the girls.
As soon as they all sat in a booth, Marvel straddled Caspian’s lap so
unexpectedly, he leaned back into the plush upholstery.
“I bet you deserve better than her anyway,” Marvel said and winked
at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck, suffocating him with the
strong scent of perfume.
The other guys had girls vying for their attention too, so this tradition
likely involved leaving large amounts of cash at Tiffany’s, but as Caspian
tried to come up with something to say, Todd’s gaze swept over him for an
uncomfortably long time.
Just watching.
Could he… suspect Gunner was gay? Or just wondering what was off
about his buddy’s behavior tonight?
Sweat beaded on Caspian’s back when he met Marvel’s gaze, unsure
what was expected of him. In the movies he watched, lap dances happened
somewhere private, not in the middle of the room while another girl bowed
onstage, gathering her tips to an applause so loud it could be heard even
over the roar of music.
“Can I touch you?” he asked in the end, because while Ralph was
already waiting for his favorite performer in front of the vacated pole and
Bud had his face between the breasts of a blonde girl with no distinguishing

features, Todd would become suspicious if Caspian couldn’t get his shit
together.
He could do this. It wasn’t like he’d have sex with her.
“Sure thing, big boy!” Marvel laughed and to Caspian’s horror, she
started rocking over his crotch as soon as a new song flowed from the
speakers.
Bud pulled his face out from between the other lady’s breasts to laugh
at Gunner. “You shy, Gun?”
Marvel’s butt was clad in golden shorts so tight they should’ve been
considered panties, and he froze, stuck in a hell a lot of men would’ve loved
to spend an eternity in. But this was just a performance for the benefit of the
other guys, so he looked past Marvel’s face, at the pipes crowding the
ceiling, and imagined a hot twink in her stead. Dressed in a crop top and
jean shorts, the boy would rock against him like she did, his palms rolling
down Caspian’s chest, only to move back up the moment they got anywhere
near his dick.
That twink had Gunner’s face, of course. His face. Which was fucked
up, but no one needed to know what hid in Caspian’s brain. Gunner was the
sexiest, sluttiest little cocksucker. And when he came…
Lord have mercy.
In Caspian’s fantasies, the vanilla-scented hair that swept across his
face was blond and much shorter than Marvel’s. He saw fluttering lashes,
trembling lips, felt slim fingers clutching at Caspian’s T-shirt just as tightly
as Gunner’s hole hugged his dick—
Marvel laughed, spoiling the imaginary perfection. “Someone’s ready
for more,” she said and slid her hand to the zipper of his jeans.
There were many things Caspian was willing to do in order to avoid
suspicion, but sex with a complete stranger wasn’t one of them.

“Maybe we should go somewhere private,” he whispered, already
plotting to tell her a sob story so she’d play along and pretend something
happened. Because while he didn’t find female bodies unpleasant in any
way, he would not force himself to fuck one. Especially not for the sake of
satisfying someone like Todd Brown, the big bully who deserved a fork in
his knee for all the things he’d done to Caspian in the past.
“Sure, babe.” Marvel squeezed his cock through the fabric with a
wink, but Todd wouldn’t give it a rest.
“Oh, come on! We’re celebrating. She can blow you under the table,”
Todd said and handed him a beer. This wasn’t a legit club, was it?
“You want that, sweetie?” Marvel asked as if there was nothing wrong
with Todd’s suggestion, but Caspian spotted the stiffness of her smile right
away. Did Gunner go along with this pressure? Had he lied about only
having sex with Sandy?
“You want to see my dick that much, Toddie?” Caspian asked, giving
Marvel a gentle nudge, so she’d slide off him. His cock had gotten hard
from the mix of touch and imagination, but he refused to be uncomfortable
about it.
When Bud snorted, pulling his own lady closer, Todd slapped the
back of his head. “It’s not me who’s besties with the tiny gay boy.”
Bud frowned, looking up from between the two large breasts. “It’s not
not true.”
Marvel had enough experience to smell trouble from a mile away and
fled the booth, but Caspian feared no one and let the adrenaline flooding his
veins take over. “You expect me to have gay cooties, like I’m a twelve-yearold?”
Todd’s lip curled as if he were a ginger wolf and he spoke loudly
enough for Caspian to hear him despite the music. “I expect you to be on

our side. Are you on our side, Gun? Or is there another team you’re playing
for?”
The question was like a piece of plutonium dropped to the middle of
the table, and Caspian felt his stomach tighten with worry, even though he
was a big bastard, taller than either Todd or Bud. He might be able to break
both their jaws now, but these crazy motherfuckers wouldn’t let it go and
could mess with his life in the future. The desire to knock teeth out burned
in his gut, but he couldn’t let his instincts guide him down a path of
mayhem.
“I just wanted to enjoy a girl in peace. It’s you who’s being a prima
donna!”
It was as if he’d thrown a piece of venison at a wolf. Todd shoved the
table away, sending bottles to the floor, and went straight for Caspian.
“What’d you call me, bitch?”
Caspian’s fist collided with Todd’s jaw in a split second. The bastard
hadn’t expected him to act so fast, because he hadn’t put up his guard and
spun like a rag doll, hit his head on Bud’s knee, and slid to the floor.
Caspian went still, staring at the carnage in front of him, and then at
his fist, which didn’t even hurt. His mind had been hesitant about getting
into a fight, but Gunner’s body knew exactly what to do in order to keep
itself safe. Muscle memory had taken over just like it had when he’d
unlocked Gunner’s phone without knowing the PIN number.
Todd got to his knees with blood dripping from his nose and fire in
his eyes. “I’m gonna fucking kill you!” he screamed, but when he attempted
to reach Caspian, Bud, who’d also lost his girl, pulled him back.
“Come on man, cool off!”
Caspian’s fists itched for more action, but despite the unexpected rush
coursing through his veins, his mind grasped the reins again. It made way

more sense to pull back now.
“Some celebration, Todd!” he said, spreading his arms.
“What’s going on?” Ralph asked, coming over, even though his
favorite girl was still on stage, rubbing her behind against the pole.
Caspian was so done with this bullshit when he had a perfectly horny
twink waiting for him at home—his old home, but still—and he wasn’t
about to waste any more time in this shithole. The last time he’d seen
Gunner, he’d been stressed out about the swap, about the new life and body,
and instead of talking to him about it, Caspian was stuck at a shady strip
club.
Bud shook his head. “Nothing, I think I’ll take Gunner home. He’s
had one too many.”
Gunner hadn’t had any booze at all, but he wasn’t about to point that
out. “Thanks, man,” he said while Ralph offered Todd a crumpled
handkerchief in order to stop the blood drizzling from his nose. The tissue
was used, which made Caspian hope the bastard ended up with gangrene
and lost his nose altogether.
Or better yet, died in a ditch. Gunner might have done terrible things
to Caspian, but he was at least remorseful. Maybe Todd would swap bodies
with the stripper and get a taste of his own medicine. Caspian just didn’t
wish it on the poor girl.
The Brown brothers didn’t bother to bid him goodbye, but Caspian
didn’t care and followed Bud to the van, somewhat surprised the vulgar
bastard cared about his friends enough to stop their fight.
“Sorry about that. Don’t know why he’s on my case,” Caspian tried as
they both sat in the vehicle, because the silence was already making him
uncomfortable. As rotten as Bud was, he remained on Caspian’s side, and

until this was over, Caspian needed all the support he could get, because he
had no doubt Ralph would follow his brother’s lead.
“Just be fucking normal,” Bud grunted and hit the steering wheel with
both hands. “Have a beer, get your dick sucked, and don’t pick fights with
Todd. It’s not that hard. You don’t want to be his enemy.”
Caspian used to think that a tall, strong body capable of easy violence
would keep vermin like Todd out of his sight, but it seemed that staying
afloat in the murky world of crime and degeneracy involved way more than
that. He’d judged Gunner over not wanting to come out to his brother, but
Noah was still a kid and might accidentally spill the beans to someone who
shouldn’t know.
Caspian didn’t even want to imagine what would have happened if
those gorillas found out the truth, and in Gunner’s world being alone meant
becoming prey.
He might have had the body of a bull and its strength to match, but
there was only one of him and hundreds of Todds, for whom a gay man like
Gunner, one of their own, posed a threat. Caspian didn’t quite understand
the mindset behind it, but the possibility of Gunner not being into chicks
was very clearly a stab at the twisted system of values those people lived
by. And unless he removed himself from their company altogether, he too
would be forever bound by those same rules.
Caspian spent the drive dwelling on the difficult choices Gunner had
been forced to make all his life, but they arrived at the trailer park before
11pm, and despite fatigue weighing down his muscles, he got into his truck
the moment Bud disappeared from sight.
He needed to talk to Gunner and point out all the things he should
have warned Caspian about. But the anger he’d felt at some point had

evaporated, replaced by the dull need to see him and relax in the company
of the one person who understood what Caspian was going through.
He parked in the service road, just like before, and was baffled to see
lights on in the living room. His parents were usually in bed at this hour.
Were they entertaining? He couldn’t see any cars in the driveway.
Caspian wondered whether he shouldn’t send Gunner a message, but
the open window in the first floor drew his attention before he could have
done that.
The old Caspian would have never climbed to the second floor, even
at the back of the building where none of the neighbors could have seen
him fail, but this new Caspian had done a drug deal tonight and punched
Todd Brown. What was a little risk to him now? Having long limbs and
enough strength to hold on to the drainpipe helped too.
He climbed to the protruding roof above the home office and from
there, getting into his bedroom was a piece of cake.
The sound of the piano lured him through the dark interior, all the
way to the door. His dad played the violin, and while mom loved classical
music, she’d never learned to play this proficiently, which meant that the
person producing the sounds downstairs would have to be a guest.
Unless…
Caspian squeezed his fist, remembering how instinctual the punch in
the strip club had been. His body had led the way even though his mind had
no framework for striking an opponent or defending himself, and it surely
worked the same for Gunner. But wasn’t the simple instinct to protect
himself different from playing elaborate pieces of music? Gunner had
mentioned that he’d felt as though he could play when he touched the
keyboard, but the complex melody coming from downstairs sounded lighter
and more passionate than anything Caspian had ever played.

Was it possible that Gunner had talent for this, and could express it in
a body that knew the right moves?
He didn’t remember the title of the melody, nor its composer, but it
felt like sunshine on a summer morning and soothed the aches in Caspian’s
body as he leaned against the door to hear it better. Like a heart, it beat
evenly, making him relax as he slid to the floor and listened to all the
nuance he’d never have been able to bring out from sheet music. But
passion led Gunner’s every finger.
The overwhelming harmony of sound brought him to dark shores
when the tone of the piece grew deeper, sinking him in peaceful warmth.
When the music wound down in an improvised ending to the sonata
Caspian had finally recognized, he found himself amazed and filled with
questions. But his mood soured minutes later when the house erupted with
yelling.
“What if I don’t want to?” Gunner raised his voice and Caspian
struggled to hear the muted conversation, but still cringed when he heard
his father’s response.
“…rethink your priorities!”
Dad was understanding, and barely ever angry. What was Gunner
doing down there to cause such a ruckus?
Caspian found himself scratching the door in frustration, but he
couldn’t go downstairs and berate Gunner, because in his parents’ eyes he’d
be a stranger who’d invaded their home. A stranger with a tattoo on his face
and of a threatening size.
So he stayed still, shaking his head at Gunner’s audacity. His parents
were kind, and loving, and always had his best interest in mind, so why
would Gunner talk to them with so much anger? That guy needed a talking
to.

This was yet more proof that the swap could not go on. Gunner
needed to sort out his own problems, and as much as Caspian enjoyed this
new body, his family was more important. He couldn’t lose his parents over
some muscle.
The quick footsteps thudding on the stairs told him Gunner was
coming his way, and Caspian wasn’t looking forward to the conversation
they needed to have.

Chapter 18 – Gunner
Raw fury replaced brains in Gunner’s head as he ran up the stairs.
He’d done nothing wrong. As a young man, Caspian had every right to
question the direction he wanted to take his life in. So maybe his time at
university cost a lot of money, but if Caspian didn’t want to go back to his
body and take over, then Gunner needed to act before he messed something
up in Thomas’s company.
He’d been afraid to broach the topic, but when both of Caspian’s
parents praised his skill at the piano, he blurted out that he’d rather make
music and teach for a living. And that was when all hell broke loose.
How the hell was he to pursue a career in accounting? All the relevant
knowledge and manners were Caspian’s, not his. After Caspian had left in
the morning, he’d experimented with some math challenges on his phone to
check if the new brain would do the work for him the same way it helped
him play the piano.
No such luck.
How was he to navigate this? Not only was he not particularly good at
math but also didn’t know the tax laws. He didn’t even know how to act at
the fancy party he was supposed to attend in two weeks.

He opened the door to his room and barely held back a scream when
his gaze zeroed in on a tall figure leaning against the window. But when the
intruder didn’t charge at him and instead made a slow turn, moonlight
caught the skull outline on his face.
It was Caspian.
Without thinking, Gunner locked the door, rushed across the room
and hugged him, hiding his face between the firm pecs. Caspian smelled
faintly of smoke, but despite the distress raging inside Gunner, the familiar
scent didn’t awaken the need to ask for a cigarette.
For a moment, Caspian remained stiff, but before Gunner could have
questioned him, thick arms settled around him like an impenetrable ring of
safety.
“What was that about? Why are you yelling at them?” Caspian asked.
“I… I just…” Gunner rubbed his cheek against Caspian’s T-shirt as he
fought through the tightness in his throat. “I suggested I might want to
develop the piano thing,” he mumbled. “They sent you to the lessons.
Shouldn’t they be happy for me?”
Caspian’s shoulders slumped. “Yes, but they’re your parents now, so
don’t raise your voice at them. Put yourself in their shoes. I’ve been excited
to start working with Dad, and I told them that many times. It’s a good job.
Good money. Then, all of a sudden their son starts acting like a different
person, so cut them some slack.”
Gunner stepped away with guilt chewing at his insides. “I don’t know
how. My dad was a mean son of a bitch, and we always yelled at each other.
And they’re just… just so nice. I don’t know how they manage to keep their
cool like that.”
Caspian bit his lip, watching him without a word. His mouth went
slack, and he frowned but no longer seemed angry.

Gunner didn’t need his pity. He opened his mouth to say something
mean, but Caspian offered him a smile that warmed even the cool
moonlight. “You play beautifully. You told me you knew how to play, but I
wasn’t expecting this. You gave quite the concert.”
Gunner bit back a shy smile, struck by a compliment that for once
wasn’t about his physical attributes, and ran his fingers through his hair.
He’d been worried about the drug deal going wrong and started playing to
soothe his nerves, and… well, it hadn’t been meant for Caspian’s ears. He’d
half-expected for Caspian to laugh at his attempts at the piano, but got
praise and validation instead.
“Thanks. I… I always wanted to be able to play. I mean, not alwaysalways. But when I was still a kid I used to have this boxing trainer, Mr.
Wagner, and his wife taught piano lessons. Their house was always filled
with classical music, and they got me into it. It was something that was only
my own, you know? I never told anyone, not even my girlfriends.”
Caspian frowned. “Why didn’t you learn?”
Gunner stared at him. “What? You know where I live. If anyone
found out, it would hound me forever. Also, I don’t have access to a piano.
Even if Mrs. Wagner wanted to make me her charity case, they eventually
moved out. And when would I even find the time for practice? I was always
doing shit for my dad, and had to take care of Noah once he was gone.”
Caspian scowled, but he shook his head moments later. “It’s a shame.
You have real talent. When I play, I just follow the notes correctly, but you
bring the music to life. It’s incredible.”
Gunner huffed, unsure whether he should beam with pride or punch
something. Because yeah, it was a fucking shame. Not much he could do
about it now. “I just imagine things that fit the melody and let my feelings
take over. I listen to classical music when I need to calm down, when I’m

happy, when I’m sad. It’s… like I can feel it flowing through me. And for
the first time, I can add some value to it too. Interpret it in my own way.”
Caspian’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and he sat on the edge of the bed
with a slight frown that was barely visible in the dark room. “I wouldn’t
have pinned you for the type to do that. Since you always seemed to value
everything that was hyper-masculine. If you believe it’s okay to be a slim
artistic kid, why did you bully me so much?” he asked softly, keeping his
gaze on Gunner’s chest. In that moment of vulnerability, even the facial
tattoo couldn’t hide who he was.
Gunner twisted his fingers, uncomfortable with the memories
flooding his head as if the dam keeping them out of mind had broken down.
“Remember that motorcycle club fire years ago?”
Caspian shrugged. “Who doesn’t? Bunch of low-lifes got burned to a
crisp. Why?”
Gunner squinted and crossed his arms. Memories were in freefall and
cut his soul with their sharp edges. “Yeah, pretty much what you said back
at school. That they deserved it and that no one would miss trailer trash
scum. One of those bikers was my dad. And yeah, he was not a good guy,
but when I heard you trash-talking him like that at school, laughing about
his death, I lost my shit. You became my target, and that was that. So yeah,
being small didn’t win you favors with me at the time, but you crossed the
line. Because I was jealous. Because I was that scum, and didn’t even have
a dad anymore, when you had everything.”
Caspian went very quiet, but then pulled Gunner to sit in his lap and
squeezed his hand. He took in air, as if he wanted to say something, but in
the end just shook his head and rested his forehead against Gunner’s
shoulder. It took him another three seconds for him to open his mouth
again.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
Gunner took a deep breath and pressed his face to Caspian’s cheek.
Tears burned his eyes, but he wasn’t ashamed of it for once, because
Caspian wasn’t like the other men in his life, and wouldn’t judge him for a
moment of weakness. “My life went off the rails after that. I missed school,
I was on drugs half the time. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you anyway,
but I couldn’t stand the look of you. And yet I wanted to be you.”
“You didn’t. I was miserable,” Caspian said in a tight voice and
squeezed his hand on Gunner’s knee. “Scared of going to school.”
Gunner wrapped his arms around the thick neck and breathed in the
faint aroma of cologne and smoke that still clung to Caspian. “I don’t know
how to fix that. I’m sorry. Hope college was better for you. You no longer
had to mix with the likes of me.” Maybe the universe was actually playing a
joke on Caspian, not him, by forcing him to interact with the man he wished
to forget.
But Caspian swallowed and met Gunner’s eyes. “The world must
have really turned on its head. Because I like being around you. Don’t know
if it’s this body, or if you’ve been hiding who you truly are, but you’re not
how I remember you at all.”
Gunner hesitated but ended up leaning in for a kiss, charmed by the
softness in Caspian’s voice. “Right back at you. You’re kind, not snotty.
How did it go tonight? You paid Snowman for the next two weeks, but
time’s always ticking. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.”
Caspian let out a groan. “Why didn’t you tell me about the strippers?
Todd started a fight because I didn’t want to have my dick sucked in
public!”
Gunner’s shoulders sagged. “Right. That. I had a busy day. I didn’t
think about it.”

Caspian shook his head. “You need a better job.”
“I’ve got a tattoo covering half my face. Who’s gonna give me a
sensible job around here, huh?” He wished he wasn’t sitting in Caspian’s
lap, being grilled about things he didn’t want to discuss.
“Why did you get it in the first place?” Caspian asked, sliding his
arms around Gunner and pulling him closer. As unnerved as Gunner was,
with Caspian holding him like this, a real conversation didn’t seem
impossible. As if he didn’t have to shrug off uncomfortable topics or get
defensive.
“It’s… I was going through a bad time after Dad’s death, I dropped
out of school ‘cause I couldn’t keep up anyway. I don’t remember that time
very well, because I was on drugs, but I had the smart idea to commemorate
the club. They were called Rabid Hyenas. So here we are. A hyena skull on
my face.” He sighed and stroked the ink etched into the left half of
Caspian’s face. “I don’t dislike it on you. The design’s cool, just like the
others on my body… but it’s closed a lot of doors.”
Caspian sighed, moving his hand up and down Gunner’s back, as if he
wanted to soothe him. “Must have been really hard without your dad…”
Gunner swallowed, hugging Caspian tightly. No one had ever spoken
to him about it this way. He’d gotten a few silent pats on the back with a bit
of sympathy, but never this kind of acknowledgement, because he’d always
been expected to ‘take it like a man’.
“He wasn’t a good guy. A part of me was even relieved that he was
gone, because he could get really violent when things didn’t go his way,
kicked me out whenever he brought women home, but… I was seventeen,
my brother was eight, so I had to fend for myself. Making sure I seemed
tough to everyone around was the only kind of survival I knew.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what it must have been like to have a
parent like that.”
Gunner shrugged. “It’s no big deal. Lots of people—”
Caspian grabbed his jaw and forced Gunner to meet his gaze. “It’s not
fine. No kid deserves to be treated like that.”
Gunner took a deep breath, taking it in and realizing he’d never really
dug this deep into the rotting truths about his past. “I suppose they don’t. He
was getting me ready for only one kind of future. I knew I’d be a biker, I
knew I had to be tough, I knew I couldn’t be gay.”
Caspian watched him, listened, without a hint of judgement in the
deep brown eyes. It was a strange feeling to be acknowledged like this. As
if he were looking in the mirror, and telling himself all this for the first
time. Admitting to himself just how shitty his life had been.
“I hid in plain sight. Covered any attraction to guys with fighting a
lot, fucking girls, and getting tattoos that made me look dangerous, so no
one dared mess with me.” Gunner ran his fingertips over the lines of ink on
Caspian’s face. “But that also meant normal, nice people avoided me. I got
so angry that no one would give me a chance when I managed to get off
drugs. It really hit me hard when I was applying for jobs after Noah’s
accident, and then I stopped trying, ‘cause what’s the point? I am what I am.
”
“Would you consider removing the face tattoo?”
“I don’t have money for that.”
“But I have credit. And some more savings,” Caspian said softly.
Gunner stared at him, not sure what to say. Caspian wanted to offer
him the cash just like that? “Until I pay off my debt with Snowman’s boss,
no other expenses matter. And then I’d still have scars on my face. Can’t

win really. Wait.” He glanced at Caspian and wiggled his eyebrows. “I can
think of a few ways to make money in this form.”
Caspian’s brows rose. He loudly sucked in air and squeezed Gunner’s
shoulder. “This is my body, and only I get to fuck it,” he said in a voice so
raspy it sent shivers down Gunner’s spine, all the way to his hole.
If only it weren’t just about that.
It would have been so hot to see Caspian’s eyes burn with real
jealousy. To feel desired in every way by a guy who saw him as something
more than a piece of ass.
“I’d make sure you didn’t find out,” Gunner teased and pulled on
Caspian’s ear with his tongue. “I’d have a sugar daddy on the side.”
“I’m a drug runner now. Can’t I be your sugar daddy?” Caspian
asked, watching Gunner as he produced a fat wad of cash. “How about you
show me the pretty things you’d gotten yourself today? Might just tip you.”
Gunner tried to take the money, but Caspian was faster, so he ended
up empty-handed. “Fine. But don’t laugh, okay? I spent all day in the store
with your mom so they could adjust it all. Close your eyes.”
He jumped off Caspian’s lap and ventured to the bag hiding his new
suit.
“Oh no, what did you get? A dressy romper?” Caspian asked,
laughing, but he did shut his eyes like a good boy.
Gunner had never considered himself ugly, but Caspian smiled a lot,
and it somehow made the same features more handsome, as if the
satisfaction he felt inside radiated over his face. He’d also got himself a
switchblade when he was out. Next time people like Bud or Todd wanted to
assault him, he’d be drawing blood.
“Dumbass. It’s a suit. Your mom’s holding a garden party in two
weeks, and she insisted I don’t have anything appropriate. She wasn’t

wrong.” Gunner undressed and pulled out his new treasure.
The clothes Alex had helped him choose had felt like a bit too much
from the start, but the outfit Barb had advised on inspired confidence. The
restrictive nature of fitted clothing made him feel like even more of an
impostor though.
He hadn’t thought he could pull off a suit before they’d arrived at the
store, but Barb had guided him through the process, and listened when he’d
suggested he’d be happy to experiment with color and get something more
suitable for summer.
She even reassured him in his choice, saying that suits in brighter
colors were getting increasingly popular at weddings. Barb helped him
choose a shirt with a faint stripy pattern and a green tie to go with the light
blue set, which suited him perfectly.
“I bet you look real hot in it,” Caspian insisted, grinning.
“Promise not to laugh,” Gunner said as he adjusted his tie according
to Barb’s instructions and glanced at the mirror. He looked like he had his
shit together, despite his knot-tying skills remaining questionable. Elegant,
pretty, confident—the person staring back at him from in the mirror was
definitely not trash.
“I can’t promise you anything,” Caspian said and tapped his feet
against the floor. “When can I look?”
Gunner cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “Now.”
Caspian’s eyes flew open, and the silly smile dropped from his face
almost immediately. Seeing him like this had Gunner’s stomach filling with
ice, but before he could have dismissed his clothing choice or run off to the
en suite, Caspian raised both hands and spoke.
“Wow. You look… different.”

Gunner grabbed a pillow from the chair and threw it at him.
“Different good, or different bad?”
Caspian chortled and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, which he waved
in front of Gunner. “Come to daddy.”
Something flipped in his stomach and went straight to his balls. He
had to take a deep breath to calm down first, and only then walked up to
Caspian, imitating a male model coming down the catwalk to the best of his
ability. Caspian taking care of him, and making life smooth as they fucked
each other brainless? That would have been the life.
“You like it? A classy boy with a dirty mind?” Gunner grinned and
patted his pocket when he stepped close enough.
Caspian pushed the money in, but then dove his fingers deeper into
the pocket, touching Gunner’s cock.
“I like him doing his job.”
“Didn’t you say you refused a blowjob tonight?” Gunner arched to the
touch, putting his hands on Caspian’s shoulders. He couldn’t get over the
size difference. His brain still remembered that he used to be this massive,
fearsome guy just two days ago, yet now perceived Caspian as much larger
and stronger than he’d ever imagined himself.
“It was your mouth I wanted on my dick,” Caspian said, pinching
Gunner’s chin between his thumb and forefinger.
“You know I’m a slut for my sugar daddy,” Gunner said, shocked at
how comfortable he was speaking like this when they were alone. He felt
neither shame nor awkwardness, only arousal. “But I don’t wanna get my
new suit all wrinkled.” He pulled on the tie to undo it.
Caspian cupped his crotch, which sent yet more shivers over Gunner’s
skin. “Then take it off.”

Button after button, Gunner opened the suit jacket, then the shirt,
showing off just a peek of skin. Last night’s fuck felt like something that
had happened centuries ago and there was nothing Gunner wanted more
than to feel Caspian’s dick inside him again. He had no idea where this
would lead them, or when the unexplained change would end, but he’d
enjoy the ride.
“Is this what you want? A sweet guy?” he asked with a bit of
trepidation, because he wasn’t sweet. He had a softer side, sure, but was far
from an innocent twink, and hoped it didn’t put Caspian off.
Caspian’s teeth sank into his lip as he watched Gunner strip and place
garments across a little stool, so they wouldn’t wrinkle. The warm glow of
the bedside lamp softened his features when he grinned and took off the
hoodie. “As long as he leaves his morals at the door when he comes to me,
ready to take my dick in his tight, greedy hole.”
Gunner should’ve felt offended, but the dirty talk made his heart
flutter. “Think I can do that…” He ran his thumb along the waistband of the
white boxer briefs Barb had insisted to buy for him earlier, even though it
had been embarrassing as fuck.
“Then say it.” Caspian hooked two fingers under the fabric and pulled
Gunner closer, devouring him with his gaze alone. “Tell me how much you
missed my dick all day.”
Gunner bit his lip and stroked Caspian’s ears with his thumbs. “What
if I’m too shy?”
“Then I’ll have to make you,” Caspian said and gestured at Gunner’s
feet, which were still clad in socks. A chuckle left Gunner’s lips, but he
placed one of his feet on Caspian’s knee, as if he were wearing high heels.
A gasp left his lips when rough fingers massaged his calf and then peeled
the fabric off him.

Gunner couldn’t wait for Caspian to squeeze the confession out of
him, to lose control under the force of those strong hands. He pretended to
zip his lips and challenged Caspian with his eyes as the other sock followed
its partner to the floor
Caspian’s hand went straight for his throat. “Oh, I can make my little
bitch talk.”
With his other arm, he swooped Gunner off his feet and pulled him
into bed, leaving no doubt that soon enough, Gunner would be singing to
Caspian’s tune.

Chapter 19 – Gunner
Gunner enjoyed many things about his new body. How smooth it was,
how nonthreatening he seemed, and how beautiful it made him feel. Just
two weeks since the unexpected swap, he sometimes forgot the flesh that
seemed so very right for him was actually Caspian’s. He felt so very at
home in it he struggled with the idea that he shouldn’t get used to it too
much.
But regardless of how many things were easier with a fresh face, a
credit card, and a cushy home, he still had the responsibility to take care of
his family, and it unnerved him that he currently needed to rely on someone
else to handle his debt. And Noah. So far, both of them succeeded at living
one another’s lives, but there would come a time when feigned confidence
and looks wouldn’t be enough to make up for the lack of experience. And
then, everything would fall apart.
Gunner frowned, rising to his toes in an attempt to grab his favorite
protein powder off the shelf, but no matter how much he strained his calves,
it remained out of reach.
So yeah, there were disadvantages to being cute and tiny.
“Let me help you with that,” Caspian said, standing right behind
Gunner as he effortlessly picked up the plastic container. He wore his own

expensive cologne, and its spicy aroma overwhelmed Gunner’s senses when
they stood so close.
Little things like this were what made Gunner’s heart float. Caspian
was there for him whenever possible, and they couldn’t take their hands off
each other. Gunner didn’t even care that it was freaky anymore, because the
pure joy of being with a man overshadowed the concerns he should have
had.
Caspian was an unstoppable tide not just because of the size and
strength of his new body, but because he exuded confidence Gunner would
have never imagined hiding behind Caspian’s original features. He was
cockier each day, and Gunner couldn’t help but be drawn to his attitude. For
once, he didn’t have to make all the decisions, because Caspian was more
than willing to take charge. Like yesterday, when Caspian had taken them to
the clinic for an STD test. Despite protesting the very idea just two weeks
prior, Gunner did what Caspian wanted, because that was how they rolled.
It was a little late for that, really, but Gunner kept that opinion to
himself. What mattered was that it was important to Caspian. Their
relationship was tainted by bad blood and ugly events from the past that
couldn’t be changed, but their connection already felt as if it had been
tattooed into Gunner’s flesh with ink only he could see. The intensity of
their time together made Gunner realize that if they figured out how to swap
back, removing that emotional tattoo would leave him with scars.
He smiled back at Caspian, thrilled over having such a massive man
at his side. “Thanks. Could you carry it? I’ll write down how much and how
often you should have it.” Because Caspian had no idea about maintaining
muscle mass.
Gunner used to be obsessed with keeping his body as large and
intimidating as possible, since in his world that commanded respect, but his

new form offered a new perspective, and he realized that losing a couple of
pounds while being six-five wouldn’t make that much of a difference in the
grand scheme of things.
But Caspian was on board with both training and nutrition, excited
about the size of his biceps, and eagerly listened to everything Gunner had
to say on the topic.
“I could even carry you, if that’s what you want,” Caspian said with a
wiggle of his brows and slid his hand along Gunner’s shoulders.
They were at a big supermarket out of town where Gunner got his
supplies in bulk, so while he wouldn’t kiss Caspian in public, this casual
closeness didn’t petrify him as much. His fear had two dimensions now. Of
being out as Caspian, but also of someone spotting Caspian being sweet
with him. The big body with an inked face didn’t allow much anonymity in
a town like Grit, Ohio.
He playfully shoved at Caspian with his shoulders. “Show off.”
“You know me. Always eager to show my boy his place on my dick,”
Caspian whispered, leaning in so his breath tickled Gunner’s ear.
Heat climbed up Gunner’s neck. This did not get old. Caspian had the
filthiest mouth, the meanest hands, the best cock, and Gunner loved
everything about his company. The constant excitement between them made
Gunner lose his breath, and his mind.
“Not in the store…” He laughed, but didn’t miss the opportunity to
squeeze Caspian’s pec when he gave his chest a playful shove. It was such a
delicious slab of meat.
“Are you sure? You don’t want everyone to know you’re taken?”
Caspian said and led Gunner forward by pressing his palm to his back, as if
he wanted to make sure at least Gunner realized whom he belonged to.

Hot cotton candy sprouted in Gunner’s chest as he lifted his eyes,
staring at Caspian. “I kinda do.”
Never in a thousand years had Gunner imagined any of his gay
fantasies would come to life, yet here they were, and he had no doubt
they’d be fucking on some side road within minutes of leaving the store.
And while he loved drinking cum, gagging on Caspian’s dick, and
getting drilled from behind, there was also a softer side to Caspian’s desire.
He was an amazing kisser and could be so gentle and sweet when the
mood was right. No one had ever been so tender with Gunner before, and it
was as if in those new bodies, they’d become one another’s perfect partners.
A part of Gunner, which wanted to remain cautious, suggested that
maybe he was just drunk on being with a guy for the first time, but did the
cause of his affection matter when Caspian pulled him close, making
butterflies flutter in Gunner’s stomach until his knees got soft?
Caspian always caught him in such moments of weakness.
“We could, you know. I was planning to tell my parents sometime,”
Caspian said.
Gunner laughed, but stilled the moment Caspian’s brows gathered in a
deep frown. “Oh. You’re serious. Me? As in… this body? You would
introduce this guy,” he poked Caspian’s chest, “as your boyfriend to your
parents?”
A scowl passed through Caspian’s features, but he wouldn’t let go of
Gunner and led him into the main aisle of the supermarket. “They’d need
some convincing, but we could make up a story about me overcoming the
challenges of my upbringing and all that. Then, I wouldn’t have to sneak in
and out through the window every night to get to my boyfriend.”
Gunner’s toes curled inside his new grey-pink sneakers, but he tried
to sound casual when he spoke. “Yeah? We’re a thing?”

He hadn’t been sure, because their relationship had gone from
vengeful to caring so fast his mind was barely keeping up with it. They’d
come a long way since agreeing to fuck for practical reasons on that first
day.
He liked being in Caspian’s company, and while at times he didn’t get
Caspian’s jokes or misunderstood the meanings of difficult words, Caspian
always explained them to him or changed the topic before Gunner could
have felt inadequate. Gunner, on the other hand, had introduced Caspian to
the joys of ’90-Day Fiancé and it turned out Caspian wasn’t above enjoying
trashy TV shows. They now even had an inside joke about the universe
giving them a ninety-day trial run.
While their lives had been nothing alike, none of that mattered when
they were together, joking around or being there for each other, as if fate
itself was pointing out that they were way less different than it seemed on
the surface.
“Of course we are, so you better not flirt with anyone else.”
Gunner loved how confident Caspian was about this. He wanted them
to be together and said it so plainly, without any ifs nor buts.
The shrill ring of Gunner’s phone spoiled the perfect moment
between the cereal aisle and the checkout, but he picked up the video call as
soon as he saw Noah’s name on the screen.
“What’s up?”
His brother kept one of his eyes shut to protect it from bright sunlight,
and wind swiped his coily hair into his face, but that stopped once he went
into shadow. “You must hear thi—are you with Cas?” Noah asked when
Caspian peeked over Gunner’s shoulder.
“Yeah, I was just showing him where to get the good protein
powders.”

Nothing to see here. Your brother isn’t a little cum bucket.
“That’s good,” Noah said, undisturbed. “You won’t believe this. I just
came over to Madge’s, and she told me there’s more people in town,
who’ve been affected by some weird magic!” he said, and the video shook
before showing Mad Madge’s bright pink cheek from way too close. Noah
helped her adjust the phone, and she cleared her throat, offering Gunner a
smile.
“What a pretty boy! Is that your friend, Noah?”
“Hello,” Caspian said, resting his hand on Gunner’s shoulder.
“So what’s the magic, Madge?” Gunner asked skeptically because
everyone in town knew her as the local eccentric, and she didn’t make any
sense half the time. He was inclined to believe she was just imagining
things, but since Noah was so eager to help, Gunner didn’t want to dismiss
it.
She exhaled and pulled off her pink shades to reveal watery blue eyes
weighed down by dark brown eyeshadow. “See, a few years ago, those two
men came to my trailer and accused me of witchcraft. They said I made
them feel each other’s pain, and they showed me that when one was cut, the
other got the same wound out of nowhere. It was really strange.”
Gunner stilled, catching Caspian’s serious expression in the corner of
his eye. “Are you sure this happened when you were sober? Do you
remember who they were?”
Noah pushed his way into the screen. “I know one of them. I mean
not know-know, but Madge told me who he is. He’s a musician and does
gigs at Tony’s bar on Saturdays.”
Madge pushed him out of the way and pointed her finger at the phone.
“Wait, wait… I know you. You’re that boy who wanted to be bigger.
Couldn’t open my jar—”

Gunner frowned. “Say what?”
Caspian reached over his shoulder and ended the call. “I wouldn’t
have believed her if this weird thing hadn’t happened to us. It’s Saturday.
We could go straight from here.”
Gunner stared back at him as the ground shifted under his feet. “Oh.
So you wanna go. And… who knows, maybe swap tonight if we can?”
Caspian stilled, pulling the protein powder to his chest as he
contemplated the lid. The speakers blasted loud pop music, and other
customers went about their business, but in the little corner of the healthy
snacks aisle, clouds gathered over Gunner and Caspian.
“It only makes sense. You can’t work as an accountant, and I don’t
want to lose my parents. It’s only been two weeks, and I already kind of
miss them,” Caspian admitted in a soft voice.
All of a sudden, his boots became Gunner’s focus. “Makes sense. And
then there’s your parents’ party tomorrow. I wouldn’t know which fork to
use for what.” He gave a nervous laugh, but a chill was already spreading
through his bones. It didn’t matter if they called each other boyfriends now,
because this situation was temporary. If anything, he was postponing the
inevitable by playing twink and indulging in piano-playing whenever he got
the chance.
Maybe it would be for the better if they put an end to this fantasy
instead of gradually forgetting that life wasn’t about fun and pleasure.
They left the aisle and headed to the cash registers without uttering
another word.

Chapter 20 – Gunner
Gunner’s favorite burgers tasted bland. He and Caspian attempted to
make conversation over food, but it was no use. The storm cloud that had
descended on them after talking to Madge wouldn’t lift, and every moment
in each other’s presence stretched, until Gunner longed to just go home and
leave Caspian to handle this.
But he couldn’t run from responsibility any longer, so he sucked it up,
and they parked their vehicles in front of the bar half an hour before the live
music performance was about to start.
Gunner stiffened when a man he vaguely recognized left the bar and
lit a cigarette in front of the entrance, and realization made Gunner break
out in goosebumps. For a moment, he tried to convince himself that the
setting sun and the long shadows it cast fooled his eyes, but he couldn’t be
mistaken.
“Fuck. See that guy? He used to be a biker in my dad’s club. The only
one who survived the fire. He might recognize the face tattoo, so keep it
cool.”
“Doesn’t everyone know about the face tattoo? It’s kind of obvious,
don’t you think?” Caspian asked and offered Gunner a stiff smile. At least
he was trying to make this easier. “What’s his name?” Caspian asked.

“Roach. I don’t know how he’s really called. A grim bastard, so stay
on your guard— Wait.” Something clicked in his head when a tall, longhaired man with a guitar stepped outside seconds later.
He’d seen them kissing.
Two weeks ago when he’d parked here, too upset to go home. It had
been too dark for Gunner to recognize Roach’s face, but it clicked into
place now.
The new knowledge made as little sense as the smile emerging on
Roach’s features when the handsome stranger approached. Gunner couldn’t
remember ever seeing Roach smile when the Rabid Hyenas MC still
existed.
He’d always been so grim, so subdued, but there was a lightness to
his posture now, as if he were a normal guy who worked nine to five and
didn’t have to look over his shoulder all the time.
The guy with long hair put his arms on Roach’s shoulders and moved,
prompting the former biker into something akin to a clumsy slow dance.
“Doesn’t look grim to me,” Caspian said with a chuckle as the couple
swayed in the orange glow of the flickering neon above the bar entrance.
“I don’t get it. He’s… gay?” Gunner asked flatly as his mind worked
at full speed, trying to come to terms with what this meant.
Roach had been approaching thirty when all his club brothers had
perished in a sudden fire. Tall, broad in the shoulders, he’d been a ‘man’s
man’, and the fact that he was touching another guy in Grit, Ohio, was like
an explosion to shatter everything Gunner believed.
Mike Choi was a masculine guy, but one who owned a legit store, and
had a business degree. He didn’t need to cater to scumbags in order to
survive another month. Roach, however, was the kind of person Gunner had
imagined himself growing into, had the motorcycle club not crumbled.

If he could be open about his affection for another guy, if he wasn’t
afraid to be openly gay, they maybe it wasn’t out of reach for Gunner
either? Was the future really not set in stone?
“Evidently. They look hot together,” Caspian said, stretching in the
seat.
Gunner burst out with nervous laughter, rubbing his stomach when it
twisted in a cramp. “Seriously?”
“I actually know them. Well, not personally,” Caspian said and
showed Gunner his phone, which featured a photograph of a very naked
Roach holding the other guy in his lap.
“Jesus fucking Christ! What the hell?” Gunner flinched so violently
he hit his head on the window. “Where did you get that?”
“They do amateur porn together. Been watching them for a while,”
Caspian said with a shrug and stuffed the phone back into his pocket. “So
yeah, your old friend is very gay and doesn’t hide it.”
Gunner’s head boiled in confusion, as if it didn’t have the capacity to
process all this, but Caspian remained chill and unbuckled his seatbelt. The
two men stepped farther away from the building when several cars arrived,
full of people dressed with way more elegance than a night out at a shabby
bar warranted.
“Let’s talk to them,” he said and stole a kiss off Gunner’s parted lips.
That did trigger him into motion. “Okay, okay,” he said and jumped
out of the car to the dull sound of Metallica playing inside the venue, even
though he’d rather kiss a rat’s balls than face Roach and his… paramour..
He was intent on dealing with this as fast as humanly possible, so they
could move on from the silly notion that Mad Madge hadn’t just imagined
her story, but as he took a step closer toward the loud music and the couple
hugging in the faint glow of the neon, Caspian’s heavy arm dropped to his

shoulders, and the agitation Gunner had felt moments ago turned into
something else. He was wary of showing this side of himself to a former
friend of his father’s, but if Roach not only was gay but even did porn, what
was there to worry about?
His heart pounded when the long-haired guy spotted them over
Roach’s shoulder.
“You here for the bachelor party?” the musician asked in a deep,
southern drawl. “I’ll be playing in half an hour.”
Roach looked back, and his widening eyes had Gunner’s stomach
plummeting as if it was being filled with lead. Of course he’d have
recognized a friend’s kid, even after so many years.
“Roach, right?” Caspian asked with a friendly wave. “We’ve got an
inquiry.”
“It’s Reed, actually,” Roach said, squaring his shoulders as he turned
to face them, and there was no mistaking his inquisitive gaze for anything
but danger assessment. He focused on Caspian for a moment too long but
pointed to his partner. “And this is Zane.”
After coming to the conclusion that Alex had purposefully tried to
make him into a caricature, Gunner was still looking for fashions to suit
him. He’d kept the gray jeans on the tighter side, and stuck with the lilac
sneakers, but went with a looser fit of clothes that many cute young guys
favored. Due to his size, he’d begrudgingly bought the short black leather
jacket in the women’s section. This style felt more like him than the sweet
print tops he’d gotten before.
Caspian grinned and squeezed Zane’s hand before doing the same
with Roach. “Right, sorry. It’s been a long time, and I forgot,” he said,
petting Gunner’s shoulder.

Despite Roach still holding his lover, Gunner had a hard time
shedding the sense of discomfort over being embraced in public. He used to
look up to the bikers from his father’s club. They’d been rowdy, aggressive,
and made their money in ways outsiders shouldn’t ask about, but they had
been the masculine ideals of Gunner’s youth, and facing one of them with a
man on his arm made shame creep up his back like a parasite.
Roach had changed. In fact, he looked better. His short hair was
shinier, and the shallow wrinkles he’d had even as a young man were now
barely visible.
“What do you want?” Zane asked, shifting to face them alongside
Roach. He wore a leather jacket and thick, dark locks of hair cascaded
down his chest in messy waves. Gunner could see what attracted Roach—
Reed—to this guy.
“So we… um… This might be a strange question,” Gunner said, but
his brain was fizzling and all he could think of was that he had a man’s
hand on his shoulder in public, wordlessly professing that he was taken.
“You want to get into porn too? All you need is a smartphone,” Zane
said with a wave of his hand and embraced Roach, squeezing his hip.
Gunner’s face must have gone the shade of a ripe tomato. No. No no
no! The filthy things he did with Caspian were for them only, and he’d
never share them with strangers. “No! Nothing like that!”
Roach groaned and took a long drag of smoke, focusing on Caspian
with a grim expression. “We don’t do guest appearances either.”
Caspian smiled. He not only used different words than Gunner but his
body language had changed. Politer than his exterior suggested, he
confused the hell out of people. And while it seemed to reassure many
strangers who’d normally act anxious around Gunner, Roach went stiffer

with every passing second, as if he sensed a bullseye on his forehead and
didn’t know where the snipers were.
“Oh, no, I know you’re perfect together,” Caspian said, betraying that
he watched Roach and Zane’s content. “This is about a thing Mad Madge
told us about.”
Enough was enough.
“The magic thing?” Gunner tried, kicking the butt of a cigarette
across the asphalt.
“What ‘magic thing’?” Roach asked.
“The one where one of you gets cut, and the other bleeds in the same
place,” Caspian said, and Zane stared at him, his brows rising ever higher.
“You two need to stop smoking whatever it is you’re smoking,” he
said with a shake of his head.
Gunner took a deep breath and stepped up to Zane with a frown. It
was in moments like this that he really wished to be a bit taller, because he
needed to rest the back of his head on his nape in order to meet his gaze.
“Hey, man. This is serious. Might sound messed up, but we need to know if
there’s something you know about this shit.”
Roach choked on smoke when chuckles came from deep in his throat.
“Chill, boy, I don’t know what—”
Gunner pulled out his switchblade and swung it at Zane’s arm. He’d
either prove those two bastards were lying, or find out it was a fluke, but it
was high time to find out.
Roach stepped in front of Zane, his eyes wide, but before he could
have dashed forward, Caspian captured Gunner from behind and lifted him
off the ground.
“There, there. No reason for all this anger!”

Gunner’s chance to test out Madge’s theory was gone the moment his
feet flew into the air.
“The fuck’s wrong with you!” Roach yelled, keeping Zane back when
he tried to step forward. “Keep that chihuahua on a leash, for fuck’s sake!”
Caspian exhaled, holding Gunner high up, so he couldn’t attack
anyone. “Yeah, yeah, sorry. He’s just a bit on edge. Because of magic—”
“There is no such thing. Grow up,” Zane growled, once again
restrained by Roach’s gesture. His mane floated in the breeze like that of a
lion about to launch an attack on its rival.
Roach scowled and showed them the middle finger but didn’t attempt
to use force in order to chase them off and nudged his boyfriend toward the
bar. “Come on, it’s your time to play.”
Zane hesitated but then met Roach’s gaze and didn’t protest.
Gunner sighed deeply as they watched them walk away, but Caspian
let him down once the two men disappeared inside the bar.
“Why did you stop me? We would have known if it’s true!” Gunner
whined, but kinda realized he’d taken it too far. Sometimes, he only
understood what position he put himself in once the burning wheel of
destruction he’d pushed off the hill could no longer be stopped.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Caspian asked, spinning him
around with a deep frown. “You could have hurt somebody with this!”
Gunner stilled and let Caspian pluck the knife out of his hand as if he
were a parent pulling a child’s hand away from the electric outlet. “I… That
was the point.”
“You stab a guy like that, and he’ll break your neck. What the hell,
Gun?” Caspian roared, his face flushed a deep red.
Gunner spread his arms in frustration, but his stomach was sinking
ever deeper. “I don’t know! It made sense at the time!”

Caspian shook his head, folded the knife, and instead of giving it back
to Gunner, he shoved it down his own pocket. “I’ll get you some pepper
spray.”
Gunner lowered his head in shame. “Sorry, I got carried away. So that
was useless. We should have known not to listen to Mad Madge.”
Caspian frowned but glanced at the entrance to the bar when a girl
walked outside with a stepladder and a rainbow flag, which she swiftly
hung high by the door.
“Didn’t know Grit has gay club nights,” Caspian said when disco
suddenly blasted from inside, replacing the earlier rock music. His lips
crooked. “Maybe they’ll still let us in, if you behave.”
“What?” Gunner couldn’t be more confused. “I mean… they host
events. Why would we go? Those guys won’t tell us shit.”
“What do you mean why? We could have some fun,” Caspian said
and swayed his hips in a way Gunner never would have in this hulking
body.
Gunner sucked in beer-scented air. “I told you I’m not out, and you
want me to go to a gay party? Seriously? No.”
Caspian’s arms dropped. “It’s not a big deal. It’s not like your friends
are gonna be here. I won’t have this body for long. I just want to go to a
club and for once be the one people check out, not the other way around.”
Gunner looked Caspian up and down. He was so damn hot even in
simple jeans and T-shirt combination.
Would they? Would they check him out?
“You didn’t go to clubs? Didn’t you say you were out at University?”
Caspian scowled and averted his gaze, folding his arms over his chest.
“I did, but I’ve never been… you know, noticed. Never the kind of guy

people wanted to pursue. Always the fucking ugly duckling,” he said and
kicked a bottle cap resting by the tip of his shoe.
Gunner wanted to answer, but a huge white limo, of the unnaturally
long variety, drove into the parking lot and stopped a stone’s throw away.
Its doors opened, letting out a flood of people who’d already infused
themselves with alcohol.
He swallowed when the two bachelors stepped outside in matching
denim suits and denim cowboy hats to a rain of confetti thrown by their
friends. The bouncer let them all through as Caspian and Gunner stood
watching with tension sizzling in the air between them. The music inside
became louder when the guests of honor arrived, and Gunner shoved his
hands into his pockets.
He glanced into a side mirror of a nearby car. “But I’m not ugly,” he
mumbled.
Caspian swallowed. “No. You’re so hot, and so cute. It’s just that… I
never wanted to be cute.”
“Okay.” Gunner took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He could
understand the sentiment in reverse, so he wouldn’t deny this to Caspian,
but he was growing nervous.
What if Caspian’s experience was universal, and he wasn’t nearly as
cute as he thought he was? How would he feel if Caspian got all the
attention while he remained ignored? And what if that wasn’t the case?
How would it even feel to be seen as available by a lot of people?
But while opposing fears gathered in his skull like a storm cloud, he
didn’t want to be selfish. If it was Caspian’s dream to have this experience,
Gunner wanted to do this for him. They’d have a drink, enjoy some music,
and go home. What was the worst that could happen?

“Yeah?” Caspian asked softly as two women arrived in a Volkswagen
Beetle and entered the bar holding hands. He licked his lips and reached out
for Gunner. “I’d never pull someone as cute as you without those broad
shoulders you gave me.”
Gunner snorted. “I’ve seen you’re good at bondage. And now you’ve
got a knife too. Easy-peasy kidnap-easy.”
Caspian chuckled and leaned in, stealing a quick kiss before pulling
Gunner toward the entrance. Their hearts pulsed in unison, faster than the
loud, joyful music inside, but just as Caspian was about to step through the
door, a massive guy blocked their way and eyed Caspian’s face in all-toofamiliar judgment Gunner had almost forgotten in the past two weeks.
“Hey, friend. I don’t think it’s your kind of party tonight. We don’t
want any problems,” the bouncer said with squared shoulders.
Caspian mimicked his movement. “It is my kind of party,” he said and
squeezed Gunner’s hand.
Gunner’s instinct was to pull away, to deny everything, but while he
remembered how important this was to Caspian, it also hurt him that this
stranger made assumptions about his body, and by extension—him. The
man assessed his size, his clothes, at his inked face, and decided Caspian—
Gunner—didn’t belong.
“You think he doesn’t belong just ‘cause he’s big and tattooed?”
Gunner choked out, squeezing Caspian’s hand. “My boyfriend’s not gay
enough for you?”
Caspian looked down at him and swallowed before meeting the
bouncer’s gaze again. “Dude, you don’t want to know just how gay I am.”
The bouncer’s lips twitched before spreading in a wide grin. He let
out a roaring laugh and stepped aside. “Fair enough. Enjoy yourselves.”

Gunner’s heart rattled like a cup of dice, but for once those fell in his
favor, and he winked at Caspian, drunk on the freedom the declaration had
given him.

Chapter 21 - Caspian
Roach kept giving Caspian and Gunner the stink-eye throughout
Zane’s concert, but the two of them left once the performance was over. The
bar was relatively small, but so packed, all of the queer men and women
from the area must have come for the party. With some straights mixed in,
the crowd was huge and even included two glamorous drag queens.
Caspian felt as if they’d stepped into a venue in some big city. While
the decor was basic and uninspired, the bright lights and fun music made up
for the generic interior. And yes, he was being checked out. Often. But the
face tattoo had to be scaring off most people who might have been
interested otherwise, because no one was biting other than the odd fish who
chose to see what he was about by making some small talk. He vaguely
recognized a few of the guests, and those who knew Gunner from
somewhere acknowledged him with brief nods but didn’t seem keen on
making conversation.
Then again… it wasn’t as though he was searching for someone to
flirt the pants off, because how was he to focus his attention on any of the
other people when Gunner was there.
Drunk. Cute. Laughing. Dancing. The life of the party.

So maybe he’d never wanted to be the adorable shorty, but the
attention his boy was getting hit home. He could have gone to more parties
while at university. He could have made friends and not have been a
wallflower so much if he hadn’t been so obsessed with picking apart every
flaw he saw in his body. He’d lost so much time in his own head, worried
that his arms were too skinny, that his legs were too short, or what
prospective partners might think of his naked body that he’d forgotten to
live.
And seeing Gunner so comfortable in the skin he used to loathe so
much didn’t just unlock stuck windows at the back of Caspian’s brain.
Reality barged right through them, throwing open all doors until he had to
face the fact that while his body wasn’t the kind he’d always wanted, it
shouldn’t have been a hindrance. Those twinks he’d always stared at in
secret on campus? Maybe they’d have gone for him, were he to make a
move. Gunner had no trouble attracting the attention of all kinds of guys,
and was currently back-to-back with a cute boy of the emo variety, who
made very obvious attempts to lure Gunner into more than dancing.
The flush on Gunner’s face suggested he’d had one or three too many,
so Caspian kept his eyes on his cutie at all times, while giving him space to
have fun. Gunner had had so many doubts about coming here in the first
place that Caspian had expected him to sit in the corner, but as soon as the
drinks had started coming, he’d loosened up and was loving his first nonstraight party.
Someone blocked Caspian’s view, so he got up without thinking,
because losing sight of Gunner raised his blood pressure.
“Whoa! You’re taller than I thought,” the guy said, raising his hands.
He wasn’t as tiny as Gunner, but Caspian was six-foot-five now and
towered over most people.

The stranger had a broad, handsome smile and wore a shirt that
showcased his muscular frame. He wasn’t Caspian’s type, since that skirted
more toward what Gunner currently represented, but the attention was
flattering nevertheless, so he grinned and leaned in to speak, because the
music was loud enough to make communication difficult.
“I drank a lot of milk growing up,” he stated, cringing as soon as he’d
said it. He wasn’t used to flirting. Not in real life at least, where he didn’t
have whole minutes to come up with a perfect response.
The man leaned in too, looking up at Caspian. Up. At Caspian. The
thrill of being taller would never get old. “I’d drink some of your milk. Your
hands look like they have a good grip on a man’s neck.”
That was forward. Holding Gunner’s throat and squeezing it, to let
him know who was in control, had come naturally to Caspian, but he didn’t
quite think about it as choking, and having a stranger suggest this off the bat
sucked all the magic out of the gesture.
Still, after making sure Gunner was safe, happily grinding back
against a splendid dude with dimples, he decided to experiment and placed
his hand on the stranger’s throat. Blood rushed to his groin the moment he
felt the man’s Adam’s apple bob against his palm.
“You’d have to find out.” It rolled off his tongue, the perfect thing to
say in response, yet despite the sudden excitement, he felt like a cardboard
cut-out. Like a character he’d made up on Grindr rather than a real person.
He always thought he wanted to be seen for who he was inside—a badass,
dominant fucker who had all the confidence in the world, but that also
wasn’t all there was to him?
The handsome stranger stared straight at him, and the attention tickled
Caspian’s ego, but he didn’t feel seen. They were in a bar, not on a hook-up
app, where getting straight down to business made perfect sense, and it

struck Caspian that this guy hadn’t even asked for Caspian’s name. He
wanted a type, and he’d have taken anyone who fit the bill. De gustibus non
est disputandum, and all that, but it was a bit too objectifying for Caspian’s
taste.
“My place? I’ve never been with a guy like you. I’m gonna choke on
that D and rasp when I tell my bestie all about it tomorrow.” The stranger
chuckled, but his eyes were hazy, as if his thoughts were already in his bed,
and his mouth—on Caspian’s cock.
This was everything Caspian had wanted and fantasized about. For
someone to submit to his strength and be his willing bitch. Maybe if this
had happened on day one of his new life in Gunner’s body, he’d have gone
for it, no questions asked, but the muscles, broad shoulders, and thick dick
weren’t what he was. In fact, he’d only been enjoying them for two weeks,
and while they felt like his own now, they were still a costume for the real
Caspian to wear.
The handsome stranger didn’t want Caspian. He didn’t even care that
the hot stud he desired was horrible at flirting. Maybe it shouldn’t have
bothered him, but it did, because there was a guy who wanted him knowing
who he was, and who appreciated him regardless. A guy who watched trash
TV with him, enjoyed learning sayings in Latin, and taught him boxing
moves.
His gaze gravitated to Gunner again, who at this point drunkenly
leaned on the man he’d danced with earlier. There was a bit too much
familiarity in the way they touched for Caspian’s taste, but Gunner had
overestimated his drinking capacity. It would soon be time to step in, so he
offered the stranger a smile and let go of his neck.
“I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for.”

The guy snorted. “Are you kidding me? You look like you’d wreck
me, and that’s exactly what I’m looking for.”
Throughout his life, Caspian had often been afraid to react the way he
wanted to when people tested his boundaries or were rude to him. Small
and physically weak, he’d often been worried about the fallout, but he no
longer had such concerns.
“If that was what I was looking for, you’d be bent over the hood of
my truck already.”
“Why not then?” The guy asked with disappointment painted all over
his face, but Caspian’s attention lapsed the moment he glanced at the
dancefloor again and couldn’t spot Gunner anywhere.
“Because I’m taken,” Caspian said to soften the blow of rejection,
since he knew all too well how badly that could sting a man’s ego
He tapped the guy’s shoulder and pushed through the middle of the
dusky bar, scanning the rocking bodies. Someone touched his hip, but he
didn’t even bother looking their way, on high alert as he sought anything
that would point him to Gunner’s whereabouts. But none of the faces within
sight belonged to the boy, and he couldn’t see his leather jacket or T-shirt
either.
He walked from one end of the interior to the other and came to the
conclusion that Gunner must have left, which meant that he was either
outside or—Caspian’s gaze trailed to the neon sign pointing to the
restrooms. He followed the blue arrow right away, prompted by an urgency
burning in the pit of his stomach.
Had he started caring about Gunner’s safety when he’d stepped in and
saved him from his old buddies, or when he’d realized Gunner didn’t have
his shit together in life? It didn’t matter. What did matter was that he loved
falling asleep with Gunner’s cheek on his pec and holding his hand.

He walked into the grimy bathroom and frowned when a lightbulb
blinked in warning, but only one stall was closed. That was where he was
headed.
“Come on, you wanted it on the dancefloor,” a man cooed to
someone, and cold slime filled Caspian’s stomach.
He didn’t speak out or call Gunner’s name and, with tunnel vision
guiding him to the shut door, he banged his fist on the scratched wood, not
even bothering to look inside through the wide gap. “Open up. The party’s
over.”
“Fuck off, man! Mind your own business,” the stranger yelled back.
“C-Cas?” That was Gunner. And the fact that he mumbled his name
as if he had trouble pronouncing it correctly made Caspian’s self-control
dry up.
This was war.
“This is your last chance,” Caspian growled and banged his whole
palm on the door, fueled by growing rage. He should have known Gunner
might drink more than his new, smaller body could take and watched him
with more attention.
But despite offering the stranger a way out, Caspian didn’t have the
patience to wait. He stepped back and slammed his shoulder into the flimsy
door. A part of him didn’t expect it to work, but the lock gave and the door
smashed into someone.
Gunner wasn’t the one who cried out, which meant Caspian hadn’t hit
him by accident, but when he peeked inside rage turned his gaze red. The
same fucker who’d been handsy with Gunner on the dancefloor held on to
his face, staring at Caspian with eyes so wide they might’ve popped out of
their sockets any moment.

Gunner was sprawled on the closed toilet, with legs spread wide and
head rolling against the wall. Jealousy had simmered under the surface of
Caspian’s skin when he stepped in there, but Gunner was in no state to
entice anyone but a disgusting opportunist.
Who the hell wanted to bang someone who was literally falling
asleep?
Fury rushed through Caspian’s veins like a wild river. He grabbed the
bastard by the collar, tossed him out of the cubicle, and before he could
have attempted to explain his actions, Caspian’s fist collided with his nose.
Bone gave way. Blood trickled to the man’s white shirt, and his head
banged against the tiles like a basketball. He rolled to the floor with a shriek
and climbed to his knees, one hand feeling up his rapidly swelling face
while he supported himself with the other.
“What… the fuck? You broke my nose!”
“You should be happy I didn’t break your neck,” Caspian roared and
kicked the bastard over for good measure. He was a shark tasting blood in
the water, and instinct told him to split the fucker’s lip next, break his legs,
slam his head into the mirror and see whether his brain was pink or gray.
But the soft whine coming from the stall was like a bucket of icy water
thrown on his head.
Also, he wasn’t a psycho.
Gunner was attempting to get up but slipped and dropped back on the
closed seat. His face was flushed a pretty pink color, but his eyes were
clouded in a way that looked like sleepiness rather than lust.
“Cas, I think I drank too much,” he slurred, but Caspian was right by
him and pulled him up by the armpits.
“We both forgot you can’t take as much booze as you’re used to.
Don’t worry, I’ll take you home,” he whispered and, after a moment’s

hesitation, picked Gunner up and cradled him against his chest while the
bastard who’d tried to assault him crawled into the corner in an attempt to
get out of their way.
Good. Maybe he’d learn something from this.
“Nn, mea culpa, right Cas?” Gunner grinned, and wrapped his limbs
around Caspian as if he were a little monkey when they walked out to a few
curious glances. The sooner they left, the better, because Caspian didn’t
want to explain himself to the police if the bathroom guy had the audacity
to report the incident and claim he’d been the victim.
He nodded at the bouncer who’d let them in earlier and walked out
into the cold night, heading straight for his fancy car. Gunner hummed
against Caspian’s neck but didn’t protest when Caspian searched his
pockets for the key and then placed him on the passenger’s seat. He looked
so adorable in the tight jeans worn with a loose T-shirt and leather jacket
that temptation lured Caspian into placing his hand on the warm thigh, but
he only gave it a squeeze and smiled at Gunner, who was still conscious
despite the limpness of his body.
“Give it half an hour, and you’ll be sleeping like a baby.”
“What? Noooo… Let’s go to the backseat.” Gunner offered Caspian a
silly smile and grabbed at Caspian’s shirt, even though he could barely hold
his eyes open. “I love you—your dick.”
Caspian’s heart skipped a beat at first, but he shook his head when the
drunk boy corrected himself. “Wow, I’m touched.”
Gunner giggled and leaned forward, planting his face in Caspian’s
crotch. “No, you will be touched.”
Caspian could have gone with it. Gunner was hot, and they fucked
around like bunnies, so it was unlikely Gunner would be unhappy over a bit
of drunk sex, but it still didn’t feel right, so he gently peeled the boy off him

and buckled his seatbelt. “I’d rather you remember every time I come inside
you.”
“Cum.” Gunner chuckled like an eight-grader and rolled his head over
the back of the seat.
“I’ll give you some tomorrow, to cure your hangover,” Caspian said
and shook his head as he took in the driver’s seat, which had been adjusted
to Gunner’s size and wouldn’t offer him enough space to fit in. So he rolled
it back and sat in the vehicle, preparing it for the drive.
“I don’t want tomorrow. The fucking garden party’s tomorrow,”
Gunner whined, his voice suddenly betraying upset.
Caspian started the car and drove away from the bar just as the guy
who’d tried to assault Gunner spilled out into the parking lot, holding a
tissue to his face. Caspian had no regrets over breaking his nose, even
though he wasn’t a fan of solving conflict with violence.
“We can still meet up once it’s over.”
“Yeah, but like, everyone will see I’m a fraud,” Gunner’s breathing
got louder as he stared ahead. “How am I supposed to fake being you, when
you’re so smart, and all the Latin I know is Scio me nihil scire.”
Caspian bit back a smile, because that was actually a pretty good use
of I know that I know nothing in a sentence.
“Just keep calm and you’ll be fine. It’s just a garden party with a
buffet, not high tea with the queen of England. I’m sure you’ll manage,” he
said, even though deep down he worried that Gunner might end up saying
something inappropriate. Caspian’s parents would then be embarrassed and
never let him forget it, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. There was no
point in making Gunner self-conscious about things he couldn’t
immediately change.

“And then what? I’ll fail at your job, ‘cause I’m too stupid to do it,
and your dad’s really putting pressure on me. I’m meeting his partner
tomorrow.” Gunner sniffed and rubbed his face.
Oh. So it was this stage of a drunken night.
Caspian headed toward the highway and placed his hand on Gunner’s
sweaty fingers. “You’re not stupid. You just didn’t study accounting. And
by the time I need to start working, we might as well be back to normal. So
don’t worry.”
A part of him dimmed at the thought of going back to life as he
remembered it, but maybe it would not be the same? Maybe this experience
changed him forever? It certainly affected the way he saw his body, as if
he’d been wearing distorted glasses and the swap allowed him to see things
clearly.
And then there was Gunner. Gunner Russo. The man he’d envied in
some ways but loathed in others. In his head, he’d always framed Gunner as
this confident meathead with an I-don’t-give-a-fuck tattoo on his face. What
he’d found was a man lost in his sexuality, regretting the ink he’d gotten
while on drugs, and saddled with debt he couldn’t handle.
Whether they were to swap or not, Caspian wanted to sort out as
many of those problems for Gunner as he could and leave him in improved
circumstances. While Gunner might not realize it, he’d already shown
Caspian that his body hadn’t been what held him back.
And if they couldn’t swap… well, they’d make it work. Caspian knew
Dad wanted to pay him generously enough to afford a modest living for
two, and if Gunner agreed to that scenario, Caspian could do the accounting
for him. They’d work it out one way or another.
Gunner looked like the cutest little peach when he fell asleep with his
lips half open. They’d need to have the your-body-can’t-take-as-much-

alcohol talk, but that could wait until morning. For now, Caspian wanted to
tuck Gunner into bed and kiss his sweaty forehead, wishing him an
awakening without headaches and nausea.
But as Caspian approached his house on autopilot, he realized he
couldn’t just drop Gunner off at the doorstep like a booze-infused gift
basket. He’d need to face his parents. Worse yet, Caspian had driven here in
the Southfield, and since he didn’t want to keep this one-of-a-kind car
overnight anywhere that wasn’t safe, he begrudgingly stopped right in front
of the garage. He’d get back to the trailer park. Somehow. Eventually.
The lights downstairs were still on, and he didn’t need to check
Gunner’s phone to know it was full of messages and missed phone calls. He
scooted down to pull the limp body out of the cab and froze when the door
opened behind him.
He knew he’d have to meet his parents tonight but wasn’t prepared
for it yet.
Dad’s face stilled in mortification. “Who are you?” he choked out,
hovering his foot in the air mid-step, likely assessing how fast he could call
the police.
Caspian shouldn’t have felt hurt, because Dad didn’t know it was him,
but the judgmental stare still stabbed him deeply. And what pained him
even more was that he’d also been insensitive and judgmental of people in
different circumstances, lacking the insight that it wasn’t easy to pull
yourself by the bootstraps if your bootstraps were torn from wear. He still
cringed at the memory of expressing joy over the death of several people,
just because he considered them social vermin. He used to be too free with
his tongue in high school, calling others trailer trash, and the cruel things
he’d said about Gunner’s dad had been such an afterthought he’d forgotten
all about it.

Maybe he wasn’t as good of a person as he’d thought himself to be.
He rose, holding Gunner to his chest. “Mr. Brady? I went to the same
school as Caspian.”
Dad blinked as Gunner mumbled something and drooled a little on
Caspian’s shoulder.
“What—what happened?” Dad asked and finally made the step he’d
intended to. “Is he okay?”
Caspian approached him, hunching over to seem that bit smaller. His
dad was as short as he used to be, and he knew how intimidating someone
like the current him was, even if one ignored the face tattoo. “He overdid it
with alcohol. Better make sure there’s aspirin and water on his side table.”
“What’s your name again? Caspian, can you walk?” Dad asked, and
when he was close enough, Caspian helped Gunner stand. His legs were
wobbly, but he managed to stay upright with Dad’s help.
“I’m sorry,” Gunner mumbled.
“Is he back? He better be fine tomorrow!” Mom yelled from the
house but stilled just like Dad had the moment she peeked out.
Caspian missed her. He’d looked forward to a day in her company,
having cake and lunch between shopping, but she no longer recognized him
as her son.
“Good evening. I drove Caspian here,” he said, gesturing at the car
before stepping forward to offer his hand. “Gunner Russo.”
His only saving grace was that he’d never told his parents about the
bullying, too ashamed to involve them.
Mom hesitated, but when Dad nodded, she extended her arm.
“Barbara. Thank you for bringing him home safely. But… who are you
exactly? Are you friends with our Caspian?” the incredulity in her voice

gave away what she thought of that concept, and Caspian couldn’t blame
her. Two weeks back, he couldn’t have imagined it either.
“It’s an old friendship, but we’ve reconnected when he came back
home. I should have told him he couldn’t handle what they were serving at
that bar, but I’ve brought his car too, so… they’re both safe,” he finished
awkwardly, staring at Gunner, who slumped against Dad like a mannequin.
Neither of his parents could get him upstairs. “I could carry him to his
bedroom, if you’d like.”
Mom offered him a stiff smile and shook her head. “Oh, he can sleep
on the sofa tonight.”
“Don’t want the sofa,” Gunner slurred and Caspian cringed, torn
between embarrassment and the itch to stroke Gunner’s hair and make sure
he was fine.
Dad rolled his eyes and took the car keys from Caspian. “Yes, sofa it
is if he can’t get up the stairs on his own. Thank you for bringing him here.
Barb, please get Mr. Russo a taxi. It’s the least we can do.”
Caspian stared back at them, with a sense of doom weighing on his
stomach. Of course they were afraid of letting him into their home. At least
he wouldn’t have to walk or try to hitchhike home.
“Thank you. Tell Caspian I’ll call him tomorrow,” he said, stepping
back.
Instead of taking Gunner to the living room, Dad made some
awkward small talk about booze and bars. That taxi couldn’t arrive fast
enough, because he had no doubt the reason they all stood there was Dad
not wanting to leave Mom alone with a stranger. And while Caspian
understood that, it still hurt to see them so wary of him
When he finally got into the car, Caspian pulled out his phone to text
Gunner.

[Sweet dreams, babe. Call me when you’re awake.] He sat on the
message for five minutes, unsure whether it didn’t sound lame or cheesy,
but pressed send in the end and looked out the window, hoping they both
survived tomorrow’s party.

Chapter 22 – Gunner
Gunner had nursed a head-splitting hangover in the morning, but it
cleared by the early afternoon, and he felt good as new. He was dressed in a
fine blue suit, drank fresh orange juice, and gentle piano music resounded
through the speakers in the sunny garden. He’d even enjoyed several
salmon canapés.
He might have been an impostor, a big fat fast food burger among
fancy sliders made with grass-fed beef and garnished with caviar
guacamole, but despite earlier fears, he’d been enjoying himself so far. It
wasn’t like he’d be expected to do accounting at the party, so he pretended
he knew who he was supposed to, and mingled with people, complimenting
women on their colorful cocktail dresses, and even helped Barb hang up
some fairy lights for the evening.
Caspian’s parents weren’t happy about last night, so he worked hard
to get back into their good graces. He’d first judged them as snotty rich
folk, but while they had their oblivious moments and insisted on only
drinking organic milk, they were kind and had lots of love for their son. If
anything, guilt filled Gunner whenever he thought that he’d taken Caspian
from them. No matter how much he wished to have parents like that, it
wasn’t the case, and he would have been a different person if he’d grown up

in this household. His thoughts drifted off to being brothers with Caspian,
so he quickly dismissed the creepy brain vomit.
The lush garden was the size of half a football field, and while most
of it was manicured grass, flowers Barb had chosen and took care of herself
grew in several beds surrounded by smooth stone. Gunner didn’t dare enter
there on his own, for fear of damaging the lawn, but it wasn’t a great
concern of the Bradys, considering that they’d invited so many people.
Several guests had come with children in tiny suits and dresses. A
small area in the far corner had been surrounded by a temporary fence and
featured toys, a bubble machine, and was minded by two young women
dressed as princesses. The reality those kids lived was a world apart from
the trailer park he’d grown up in. Maybe if he stayed Caspian for a while
longer, he could help Noah find a good job and set him up with people who
wouldn’t pull him into drug deals or put him down for his scars.
Gunner might have read the text message where Caspian called him
babe a few times too many before he called him. He’d been filled in on the
fuzzy details of last night, and the fact that he’d almost been abused while
drunk put him off alcohol today.
But Caspian had been there, watching out for him. It made Gunner’s
insides all mushy and wishing to hug his boyfriend all day instead of
interacting with all these fancy strangers.
Caspian’s presence would have been a lifesaver, but he knew better
than to discuss a last-minute invitation with the Bradys. While Barb and
Thomas had expressed gratitude toward Caspian’s high school classmate,
he had no doubt a guy with a skull tattooed over half of his face wouldn’t be
welcome at a party like this, even if he did own a suit to fit his broadshouldered body.

The cell phone buzzed in his pocket, and he hurried toward the edge
of the garden, to a modern statue shaped like a wave, which Caspian’s
parents had received as a present from an artist they knew. With heat
climbing up his back, he stood behind its stone bulk and peeked at the
crowd of guests in ‘cocktail attire’, as Barb called it, and pulled out the cell
phone when he deemed it safe.
It was Caspian!
A stupid grin spread on Gunner’s face. “Hey, I think it’s going well,
but what’s foie gras?”
A soft chuckle came after a moment’s silence. “It’s pâté made with
livers of force-fed geese or ducks.”
Gunner eyed the far-away table of canapés, spotting Barb speaking to
a blonde woman in a flared knee-length dress. “Thanks but no thanks.”
“I thought not. I wanted to check up on you, but seems you’ve got it
under control,” Caspian said in a warm tone that felt like a stroke to
Gunner’s nape. Oh, how he wished to be wherever Caspian was instead of
stuck with all those people and their expectations…
“And how’s your day going? No unexpected drama?” He leaned
against the statue, feeling guilty over burdening Caspian with his shitty life
and its demands.
“I’ve found some odd jobs for the day, and I’m having my lunch now.
It’s all good. I wanted to tell you that if you needed something, just call or
message me.”
“Can you come over, kidnap me and—”
“You’ll be fine. It’s just a few hours.”
“I know, I know, it’s just stressful.” Weakness. Something he’d rarely
admit to anyone in his old body but felt comfortable to disclose to Caspian.

“I can take you away once it’s all over. Let’s go somewhere quiet and
have a little picnic.”
Gunner chuckled. “A picnic? Like with a basket and shit? On a
blanket?”
“Yep. I checked the forecast, and the sky should be clear throughout
the night too. We could stay out until late.”
“That’s like… real sweet, Cas.” Gunner had an urge to bury his face
in Caspian’s chest and tightened his hold on the phone. He’d dated women
since his teens but never had anyone organize something for him. For some
reason, Caspian believed he was worth pampering. And while neither of
them used the word date in relation to meeting up, getting together had
been increasingly about spending time with one another instead of trying to
solve the issue that turned the world on its head. Some days it felt Noah was
more invested in it than either of them.
They only ate at inexpensive places, but despite having less cash,
Caspian had always picked up the bill, as if he were trying to make a point
of it. And Gunner let him, more flattered every time.
“Can’t wait to see you and hear all the gossip,” Caspian said with a
smile to his voice.
Thomas waved at Gunner from around the dessert buffet, indicating
he required his presence. “I gotta go. But I can already tell you Aletia had
pretended to take French lessons when she was really going to chess
practice. Saucy stuff.”
Caspian laughed louder this time, but ended up smacking his lips, as
if he were giving Gunner a peck on the cheek. “Good luck keeping up
appearances.”
Gunner put the phone back into his pocket and made his way toward
Thomas, hoping the luck that had kept him blunder-free so far would not

turn away from him now.
“Hey, Dad, what’s up?” He was toying with asking Barb and Thomas
if he could start calling them by their names, because calling the man he
met two weeks ago Dad was painfully awkward. But that could wait.
“I know you don’t like those events, but now that you’re out of
college, you should start thinking of networking as part of the job,” Thomas
said, putting his hand between Gunner’s shoulder blades and leading him
through the crowd gathered in little groups all around the garden while soft
piano music played in the background.
Gunner had only seen events like this on television, but as it turned
out, some people really organized lavish parties featuring large chocolate
fountains as centerpieces, staff to wait on the guests, and expensive clothes.
He wondered if, unlike him, they were actually having fun, or if it was a
performance for all other members of the local upper crust.
Gunner nodded. “Am I getting paid for the overtime then?”
The joke fell flat and Gunner cringed when Thomas cleared his throat.
“No, but I talked with John about starting you on the job as early as
next week, so—oh, look, he’s coming over,” Thomas pointed out a graying
man in a sharp navy blue suit. But Gunner was still processing what he’d
just heard.
What?
What?
The older gentleman’s gaze met his, and a small smile stretched his
mouth, which seemed pale in contrast with his tanned skin. He looked as if
he’d gotten back from a vacation in Florida very recently.
“Ah, Caspian,” he said, putting a small plate on the edge of the large
table housing the chocolate fountain and a buffet of foods to dunk in the
dark liquid cascading down the tiers. “Your Dad said you’ve really grown

up while in college, but I now see what he meant. It’s been years since I’ve
last seen you!”
Gunner forced a smile on his face, and he sweated bullets as
Thomas’s words jiggled in his empty skull, creating an echo. Next week?
He was supposed to start work as an accountant next week? He could
probably bluff for a few days, but that shit could only last so long. Would
anyone believe him if he faked a concussion and claimed it caused brain
damage that irreversibly erased his college education?
Caspian would have killed him.
He shook John’s hand, clinging to the present. “I’m pleased to meet
you, sir. I’m looking forward to a summer vacation. Those final exams
really tired me out.”
John stalled with his warm hand in Gunner’s, but then chuckled and
let go after a brief squeeze. “Your son shares your sense of humor,
Thomas.”
Gunner froze when his fake dad’s fingers dug into the flesh on his
back in warning, but there was no anger to Thomas’s tone when he spoke.
“Caspian can’t wait to start.”
A familiar voice cut into their conversation, and Gunner’s blood froze
when he realized that it was Alexander. The fucking menace who’d put him
in children’s clothes and called it fashion!
The bastard came closer and offered his hand to John, looking as
stylish as he had been when they’d last met. “Mr. Sadler? I thought that was
your car in the driveway. I’m sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I just
had to come over and ask where you got the interior upholstered. I need to
update mine, and I’m looking for a good shop.”
John smiled, and all his attention shifted to the damn party crasher,
who very obviously came over to make Gunner’s life more difficult! Since

the shopping fiasco Gunner had learned all about Alexander and his
frenemy status in Caspian’s life. Gunner didn’t know why Caspian bothered
with passive aggression. If he slashed Alex’s tires once, the fucker would be
out of his hair forever.
“Ah, I know a guy in Pittsburgh, who specializes in customization.
They make their own patterns and colors, and it’s always flawless work.”
For Gunner, cars had always been about their utilitarian use, even
though he could do basic upkeep. Driving the vintage Southfield, a one-ofa-kind vehicle Caspian had apparently purchased from someone selling his
late grandfather’s belongings, was a whole different ballgame. That car
turned heads.
Gunner didn’t care about its value as a collectible, but what counted
was that Alexander had been jealous of the unique car since Caspian had
restored it.
“I’d love to get their number,” Alexander said.
Gunner smiled stiffly, unsure where to go with this, but John went on.
“Tell me, Alexander, did you take the summer off after graduating?”
Alexander shook his head and pushed his fingers through his tidy
blond waves. “No, why would I? Graduating means you’re ready. Isn’t
everyone revving to get into things once they’re done with education?”
Caspian wished he could squish his fucking face like an overripe
peach. “Yeah, but, you gotta live a little too.”
“You don’t sound very excited,” John said with a dry chuckle, and his
gaze darted to Thomas, who stood next to Caspian, stiff as a statue.
“It’s just performance anxiety. He’s afraid he’ll disappoint me, but I
know he’s talented, and intelligent, and has a stellar work ethic,” Thomas
said.

John nodded. “I understand, but you’ll be fine, Caspian. My niece
joined the team last month and already feels right at home.”
“You’ll be working closely with me at first, so you can get acquainted
with our procedures and how we work with other branches,” Thomas said
in a reassuring tone that, unfortunately, didn’t calm Gunner down in the
slightest.
Alexander nudged Gunner with his elbow. “I bet Caspian’s ready to
mingle with everyone.”
John laughed. “Well, my niece is a lesbian, so that kind of mingling is
off the table.”
Gunner gave a startled chuckle. This was a piece of information he
needed to pass to Caspian. Maybe he wouldn’t have to worry about coming
out if the company when it already employed a gay woman.
But before he could have said something coherent, Alexander butted
in with a wide grin. “Caspian and her will have a lot to talk about then. It’s
good to have diversity in the office.”
John’s blue eyes sharpened as they zeroed in on Gunner. “Oh. You’re
gay, Caspian? Your father hasn’t mentioned—I mean, sorry, there’s no
reason for it to just come up.”
“No. I—what?” Gunner’s heart sped up and rattled like the engine of
his old wreck of a truck. He was going to be sick.
Thomas paled while the white noise around them echoed in Gunner’s
ears. “Caspian?”
Alexander cocked his head as if he was a confused parrot. “You’re not
out? I’m so sorry, I just assumed… you know, when we went shopping, and
you talked about wanting to look a certain way…”
Something cracked in Gunner, and he pushed Alexander’s chest. “You
know exactly what you’re doing, you motherfucker!”

Alexander’s lips widened into a sneer, and his eyes glinted with
triumph, as if he’d already won, not only this confrontation but the whole
war of piano contests and attention. He had no idea how wrong he was.
Thomas squeezed Gunner’s arm, but rage had already overflowed
deep inside him, and there was no stopping it. This was for all the shitty
gossip Alexander had spread about Caspian in school, the sabotaged piano,
the offhand shortness quips, and wrecking Caspian’s seventeenth birthday
party by organizing his own swimming pool extravaganza with Taylor Swift
as the star on the same day. Taylor Swift had really been an impersonator
with a cover band, but the damage had been done.
He kicked Alexander straight in the nuts. The bastard folded in half,
uttering a comically high-pitched sound, and when he met Gunner’s gaze,
his red face was the signal for the bull that had been huffing with aggression
inside Gunner.
He charged at the lying fucker, who couldn’t even be nasty to his face
and had had to resort to backstabbing. Alexander lost his footing, his eyes
went wide, and they both fell onto the table behind him, crashing between
the little bowls filled with fruit and candy, the chocolate fountain, and the
marshmallow stand. Sweet brown goo sprayed everywhere, covering them
both like a representation of the years of shit between them.
Alexander writhed under him with a squeal, but Gunner didn’t
hesitate and punched him in the face with all the force he could muster. The
table shook, and the chocolate from the unsteady fountain splashed onto his
face before spilling into Alexander’s hair as it fell over and rolled to the
grass.
The garden erupted with squeaks and shouts, but while he could see
figures moving in the corner of his eye, he was grounded in this moment of

violence and wouldn’t stop punching the self-satisfied bastard’s face until
even his mother wouldn’t be able to recognize him.
“You think you can just toy with people’s lives?” he yelled despite his
next punch slipping along Alexander’s forearm when the snake covered his
face.
“Stop, you psycho!” Alexander cried.
“No! Get the fuck out of my life!”
He didn’t get to land the next chocolate-stained blow because two sets
of arms pulled him back.
His knees hit the edge of the table as he rolled off, but moments later,
he found himself facing Barb, who stared at him from behind hands clasped
on her face. “Caspian! What are you doing?”
Thomas helped Alexander off the table, keeping him up when Alex
almost rolled onto the ground, holding his beaten face. Gunner bet his ears
were ringing too. Good.
It was about time someone taught the smug bastard a lesson!
“Me?” he yelled, spreading his arms. “Why does everyone think it’s
okay for this cunt boy to out me, huh? So yeah, I’m fucking gay!”
“Go back to the house, Caspian! This is unacceptable!” Thomas said
through clenched teeth, his kind face stiff with anger.
“No, I won’t! He fucking deserved a good thrashing!” Adrenaline
boiled in Gunner’s veins and poisoned his mind until he couldn’t think
straight.
“I am so, so sorry,” Barb shook her head, looking at her guests.
“Dessert will be served shortly. I’ll soon be back with you,” she said and
approached Gunner, digging her fingers into his arm. “Into the house.
Now.”

She pushed him forward with surprising strength, but he gave up the
fight, because it wasn’t as though he was gonna attack Alexander again. He
stared at his feet, the grass, and then tiles as they walked on, because while
he wasn’t sorry about landing those punches, he didn’t want to confront the
judgemental stares and whispers stabbing at him from every direction.
Staff occupied the kitchen, so Barb led him to a side door, into a
utility area and slammed the door shut before grabbing his shoulders.
“What do you think you’re doing? I don’t know what he said to you, but
you need to apologize and make amends before he presses charges! And in
front of Mr. Sadler? Are you insane? Do you want to ruin your future, or
just our reputation?” she asked, so flushed he could even see it through her
makeup.
Something balked inside of Gunner, and he squeezed his fists, looking
up at her. “I don’t even wanna be an accountant! I told you I wanna play the
piano! I’m so done with all of this!”
She took a deep breath and pushed her fingers into her smooth locks.
“Since when? You’ve been planning this for years. And if you changed your
mind, there are better ways to tell us!” she said, hissing in an effort to keep
her voice down without compromising on her anger.
One of the servers passed through the corridor, no doubt lured by the
commotion, and Barb dragged Caspian farther from the kitchen, to the
home office.
She continued when Gunner couldn’t find the right words to respond.
“You can’t just bail on everything you’ve worked for on a whim! You’re an
adult, Caspian, so act like one!”
“Oh yeah?” Gunner fired up. “I don’t fit into your plans? Then I’m
just gonna fucking go!”
She stared at him. “G-go where?”

“I don’t know! I’ll figure it out!”
Barb pressed her lips together. “Sure. Don’t let the door hit you on the
way out.”
Barely able to breathe from the sense of doom sitting on his chest,
Gunner stormed out of the office and dashed upstairs to gather some basics
into a duffel bag and change out of the chocolate-stained suit.
But as he headed out with the few things he could carry, guilt and
panic had already chewed their way deep into his flesh.
What had he done? What had he done?

Chapter 23 – Caspian
Caspian shuddered when the damp shower curtain stuck to his ass
again. He’d gotten a new one, because there was no way he’d be dealing
with the mold on the one originally hanging in the bathroom, but he still
hated the cold sensation of it clinging to him. He barely fit into the stall
with a showerhead that faced him instead of hanging above his head. He
needed to twist his body in order to clean himself everywhere, and kneel for
the droplets to fall on his head, but it was what it was, since he couldn’t
sneak into his real home during the party.
He’d gotten motor oil all over himself by the time he finished
repairing two of his neighbor’s cars and made some improvements to
Gunner’s truck, so showering was a must. Especially since he’d planned an
outing with Gunner, to treat him after the stressful day.
It wouldn’t be much, but he had more than enough time to pack a
blanket and other necessities, and stop at the grocery store to get food. The
menu he had in mind was simple, but everyone appreciated fresh
sandwiches and salad, even on days when they’d had fancy canapés for
lunch.
He walked out of the bathroom dressed in a towel and took in the
main room. He hadn’t been able to stand the mess he’d woken up to on the

first day of their swap, but while he was still battling roaches, he’d gotten
rid of all the trash and bought a potted plant from Mad Madge to put on the
counter, which made the place way more homely.
He usually left the curtains drawn over the windows, but it was bright
enough outside for the sun to seep through the fabric and color everything
within sight a pleasant warm hue. He hoped Gunner would appreciate all
the changes and see them as the improvements they were instead of an
intrusion into his home.
Caspian bit his lip, thinking of the way Gunner’s head had rolled to
the back of his seat as Caspian drove him home. Gunner might have been a
red-blooded guy with a short temper, but he was also a sweet creature
who’d thrive in the right circumstances. He played the piano with a passion
Caspian never had for the instrument, and had more intelligence than
Caspian gave him credit for. He might be stubborn but was kind at heart,
and taken out of the environment that gave him a reason to hide his true
self, Gunner became a different person.
Someone Caspian really liked around, as unbelievable as that was.
He was whistling to himself as he caught Fluffer and attempted to
apply eye drops the vet had prescribed him last week when a rapid
knocking on his door scared the cat away.
“Who is it?” he yelled and approached the source of the sound in the
towel-skirt. While he liked to think of himself as modest and understated,
he couldn’t help but enjoy the fact that he now had a body he itched to show
off.
“It’s me!” Gunner said, and the smooth sound of his voice lifted the
corners of Caspian’s mouth, making him unlock the door with more vigor.
He grinned when it flung open, revealing the compact form dressed in

casual jeans, a T-shirt with a gray snake, and the same leather jacket he’d
worn last night.
“So you couldn’t wait to see me,” he said and stepped away to let
Gunner in.
Gunner locked the trailer, and then stood on his toes to pull Caspian
down for a kiss, as if he’d been suffering without it. His warm lips tasted of
mint and strawberry, prompting Caspian to nip at them, imagining sweet
juice drizzling down his tongue.
He chuckled, hooking his thumbs through the belt loops of Gunner’s
jeans and pulling him closer. “How did it go?”
“Later,” Gunner hummed and pushed Caspian’s towel to the floor,
leaving him naked. “Oh yess…” He ran his palms up the tattooed chest and
sides, provoking a sudden hunger for pale, juicy flesh.
If his cutie was too horny to chat and wait for the picnic, Caspian was
glad to fulfill his wishes.
“So impatient. Gonna help you let off all that steam,” Caspian
whispered, dragging his hands up and down Gunner’s chest, and exposing
the rosy nipples under the T-shirt. He’d become slightly obsessed with
them, as Gunner made the cutest little noises when Caspian squeezed and
pinched them, or just rolled them between the fingers.
Gunner nodded, already unzipping his pants. “That’s all I need. You.”
Their eyes met, and the hunger burning in Gunner’s eyes was the
match to light a raging fire in Caspian. He pushed Gunner at the empty
table and sat him on the edge before dragging the offending piece of fabric
off him. “Then you’ll get what you deserve, slut. My big, throbbing cock
drilling you until you have to bite your lips to keep from screaming,” he
said and nipped on Gunner’s nipple.

Gunner whimpered and wrapped his arms around Caspian’s neck,
already spreading his legs. His pliant eagerness was like a ripening fruit,
sweeter each time Caspian bit in. Not only did he love the shape of Gunner
and what his body did for Caspian’s cock, but it was Gunner’s wicked mind
and filthy mouth that had Caspian revving from zero to a hundred each
time.
“All yours,” Gunner whispered.
Caspian pushed between his thighs, wrapping the slender legs around
him as he loudly breathed in Gunner’s scent, licking and kissing the soft
skin until his prick was so heavy he needed to widen his stance.
“Come on,” Gunner said between one gasp and another. “I need to
feel your dick in me now. Give it to me hard. Give it to me rough. Give it to
me like I’m your little bitch. Cause I am.”
Caspian had been in the mood for a hot, passionate tumble, but
Caspian’s words triggered the right switches in his brain, and he grabbed
Gunner’s narrow jaw, staring straight into his eyes. “Is that right? You want
me to bruise you too?”
He knew he was spot-on when Gunner’s lip trembled, and his eyes
turned into deep wells. “Bite me, scratch me, mark me, and leave me
dripping,” he whispered, and no dirty talk on Grindr could ever match the
intensity in his voice. This was real. A handsome twink who loved to be
around Caspian wanted to be marked by him. Wanted to submit to him.
Wanted to take his spunk.
It was all Caspian had ever wanted, and in his mind he was already
tattooing Gunner’s skin with his name.
“You are mine. Do you even remember another guy was trying to take
you from me last night?” he asked and slapped Gunner’s cheek. His heart
stopped when the boy’s eyes widened, because maybe he should have asked

if that was okay, but then Gunner licked the inside of his palm and Caspian
roughly twisted his nipple, grinding his crotch against the supple buttocks.
“Vaguely. He was no match for you though, was he?” Gunner reached
for Caspian’s pec, but he was no longer in charge.
“Pass me the belt.” Caspian pointed to the piece of leather resting on
the chair, and his cock twitched when Gunner reached for it without
question. As soon as the small hand squeezed around the loop, Caspian
dragged him back to his feet, took the belt and bent Gunner over, pressing
his naked chest to the smooth white table top.
Holding the leather strap between his teeth, he pulled the boy’s hands
back with enough pressure for it to feel like a threat yet not cause pain.
“You followed him to the restroom, and he’d have had you over the toilet if
I hadn’t come to get you. You drank far too much, you reckless, volatile
slut. From now on, I’m in control of your drinking, understood?” he said
and pushed his knee against the backs of Gunner’s balls as he prepared the
belt cuffs in a way he’d seen online. Gunner wouldn’t be able to get out of
those so easily. He’d be trapped and at Caspian’s mercy for as long as
necessary.
“Yes. You’re in charge.” Gunner trembled, and his beautiful
submission lured out Caspian’s inner wolf.
He ran his fingers along the ridges of Gunner’s spine. He loved being
this massive guy, and Gunner’s size only made him feel more powerful. He
could do anything with the strength he now possessed, yet the trembling
body under him gave in willingly. Caspian wasn’t particularly sadistic, but
it turned him on to no end that his lover allowed him to do as he pleased. So
he scratched the side of Gunner’s ribs, leaving red marks behind.
“I’m gonna fuck you here, then tie you to my bed and return once I
want more,” he whispered, pulling Gunner’s wrists through the double loop

made with the belt before tightening the impromptu handcuffs to make sure
the boy wouldn’t free himself. Heat climbed his face as he looked at the
marks he left on the smooth skin and smacked the pert ass still hiding in
denim. “And you know why?”
“Because I’m your bitch!” Gunner whimpered, and the submissive
tone in his voice made not only Caspian’s cock but also his gums tingle
with desire. He ducked, pushing his crotch at the jean-clad buttocks, and bit
down on the warm nape.
“Yes you are, and you’re gonna be a good little slut, because you
don’t want me sharing you around, do you?” Not that he would, even if he
had gay friends who were up for that kind of play. Gunner was his only to
indulge in. Only his to use and spoil.
“No, your cock is the only one I need,” Gunner said, spreading his
thighs in invitation.
Could a boy be any sexier that this slutty twink, who opened his legs
as wide as Caspian desired? So pliant. So available. Caspian had never had
as much sex as in the past two weeks, but his lover was relentlessly greedy
for cum and shameless about it. Gunner’s snug hole had been trained well,
and as Caspian’s attention focused on the tight little butt before him, a sense
of urgency diluted his patience until he had none left.
Caspian reached to the front of Gunner’s jeans and opened them
before dragging cotton and denim off his hips to expose the peach-like
globes that promised him sweet release. But he’d spoil the perfection of
Gunner’s body first and slapped the left buttock with all his strength.
“That’s for almost cheating on me!”
Gunner caught his yelp midway and bit his lips, huffing through the
nose. “I didn’t mean to.”

The next stroke of Caspian’s hand made Gunner rise to his toes, and
he barely swallowed the cry pushing at his mouth.
“That’s for thinking I’ll care whether you meant it or not,” Caspian
growled, his mind clouded by arousal as he focused on the red marks left
behind by his palm, and on the sexy jiggle that followed each of the blows.
“And for not taking off your clothes the moment you crossed the
threshold!”
In moments like this he didn’t miss anything about his old life. His
dick was stiff as a tire iron, and Gunner was here with him, ready to fulfill
any fantasy Caspian might have. They were two dirty-minded fucks, and
Caspian wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Gunner clenched his fingers hard and rubbed his cheek against the
table. He shifted from one foot to the other, and as his hips tilted, the
buttocks moved too, offering Caspian a glimpse of the soft, wrinkled skin
between.
“I’m gonna destroy your little hole,” he purred and pushed his thumb
into the crack, touching the pucker.
The flesh yielded to his touch, and Gunner’s opening widened, as if it
were sucking on his fingertip. Already hungry. Prepared to take a rough
plowing and keep in his cum.
Caspian kicked Gunner’s feet farther open, as wide as the lowered
jeans allowed, and raked his nails down the flawless back, finishing their
journey by squeezing the bound wrists. His cock was as eager as Gunner’s
hole was, and he looked around, trying to remember where he’d put lube.
“Don’t you dare move, bitch.”
“Don’t go,” Gunner whined despite surely throbbing with pain where
Caspian had marked flesh with his hand.

It was the first time Caspian was glad for the size of the trailer,
because the tube was just a couple of steps away. The soft, lustful mewl
Gunner uttered scorched Caspian all the way to the tips of his ears. Gunner
not only hadn’t moved. He was calling his stud over, provoking him.
“Come on, beg for it,” Caspian whispered as he drizzled lube down
Gunner’s crack, watching the clear gel slicken the hole and then drip to
Gunner’s fuzzy balls.
“Please fill my greedy hole,” Gunner said with a gasp. “I’m a filthy
piece of ass and I need to be wrecked.”
Caspian’s brain scrambled. He could barely think beyond dick, and
cum, and hole. As he spread the pert globes and saw the anus winking at
him, the need to take became the single loudest voice in his mind.
He slapped his erection against the slick crack, which had them both
squirming in pleasure. “You’re such a horny little thing. I should teach you
a lesson and tie you to this table once I’m done, and then invite all the
willing guys in this trailer park to have a go.”
Gunner’s breathing got so fast and hot it left steam on the table next
to his lips. “No, I’ll please you right, keep me to yourself.”
Caspian grinned, pressing his cockhead against Gunner’s eager hole.
“Is that right? You better, because I’ll be fucking until I got what I’m owed.
So that tight little asshole of yours better milk me good.”
He thrust his cock in when Gunner felt ripe for the taking, and the
boy’s muffled whimper went straight to Caspian’s balls. Now that he was
in, hugged in the heat of the other body, he leaned forward over Gunner’s
back, rested his forearm on the table, and grabbed that slender neck in his
palm. He loved sensing Gunner’s every breath, his quickening pulse and
bobbing Adam’s apple when they fucked.
“I will,” Gunner rasped. “I’ll be your pliant little sex toy. Use me.”

“I will use you. I will make your hole burn,” Caspian said,
increasingly overcome by lust. It could no longer be stopped. He needed to
fuck Gunner right. The fuck. Now.
He shifted back, grabbed Gunner’s hips and pushed, watching the
tender flesh swallow his throbbing prick inch after inch as he forced it in.
Gunner’s moans fuelled his fire, but the teasing squeezes of his ass told
Caspian exactly what his boy wanted. The little sex pest even raised his
bound hands to tickle Caspian’s stomach, so he squashed the smaller body
under his and slammed home, making his lover squeal and tremble.
Passion burned through his body, leaving his insides scorched and his
mouth dry, but he was close to the well and closed his mouth on Gunner’s
shoulder, dragging his cock out, only to push back in. Gunner’s body was
so tight around him it felt as if he was being sucked back in each time, so he
shut his eyes, dug his fingers into flesh and jabbed his hips at Gunner’s ass.
His balls vibrated when they slapped against buttocks covered by a peachlike fuzz, so he sped up, holding Gunner still for his pleasure as he rutted on
top of him, ever faster and harder.
The muffled cries escaping Gunner’s lips were the lure making him
go faster with each passing second. He was where he was supposed to be,
and Gunner’s scent intoxicated him beyond the rush booze could offer.
Every stifled moan was confirmation that he was the stud Gunner craved,
and no one else would do.
“You’re mine, you little tramp. From now on, I’ll oversee how much
you drink. I’ll tell you when to go to sleep, and when to suck my cock. Is
that understood?” Caspian asked, grabbing Gunner’s throat just hard
enough to briefly make him stiffen. But the moment of fear had the boy
moaning a seconds later.

Caspian shut his eyes and moved faster, focusing on his own pleasure,
because he’d take care of his lover’s once he was done. For now, he’d give
him the experience of being treated like a cumbucket, and he’d leave him
with enough spunk to make that point clear.
“Yes,” Gunner choked out. “I’ll be on your call.”
The channel of muscles hugged him so tightly, he wished he could
fall asleep right after the fuck, with his dick still in Gunner. Under his
fingers, his lover’s flesh was sunshine hot, and the quick pulsing of blood in
the neck reminded Caspian he not only had Gunner pinned down to the
table and open for his spunk, but also held Gunner’s life in his hand.
“Good. That. We. Understand each other,” Caspian grunted, already
chasing the pleasure promised by the throbbing in his balls. It didn’t matter
that they were in a shabby trailer and had to keep quiet for the sake of all
the neighbors, because as far as Caspian was concerned this might have
been a palace, and the scent of Gunner’s sweat would still have been the
one thing he cared about. His thighs trembled, and he rested even more of
his weight on the boy as the pressure in his dick rose until he could no
longer stop himself from jabbing into the tight hole at a frantic rate.
Cum shot out of Caspian in several spurts, coating the walls of
Gunner’s sensitive ass, and he moaned against his lover’s warm flesh just
picturing it in his mind. No guy ever had made him feel so wanted. So
powerful. So validated.
And while he knew they’d have to find a way back to their own
bodies, he secretly wished it wasn’t a possibility.
He slid his hand up Gunner’s throat, chin, and to the trembling lips
that sucked on his fingers, as if they were a delicious lollipop. But there was
also moisture on his cheek, too much of it to be explained with perspiration.

Caspian stilled with his nose buried in the pale, cherry-scented hair, unsure
whether he should point out the tears.
“I want you to come, babe,” he uttered, kissing Gunner’s temple. His
hand moved down the boy’s stomach and took hold of his prick, which was
so hard they both shivered with discomfort. The hole squeezed around
Caspian’s softening cock, as Gunner shuddered, giving in to the touch.
“Yes, please, please,” he mumbled around the fingers, already
thrusting into Caspian’s hand.
A devilish voice at the back of Caspian’s head told him to deny
pleasure, to bait and switch, and make Gunner beg with that filthy mouth of
his, but his muscles were becoming heavy, and the cock in Caspian’s hand
felt so hot and swollen he didn’t have the heart to torture his lover any
further.
He trembled when his own dick left the tight body with a loud smack,
but remained steady behind the boy and hugged him from behind while his
fist worked the hard length, which he used to scorn so much yet now loved
to touch and suck.
“You’re such a dirty boy. Coming here and demanding cum, as if you
were an addict,” he uttered while Caspian trembled in his arms, jerking in
throes of frantic passion.
“Maybe… I am,” the last word turned into a moan when Gunner
came, spilling cum between Caspian’s thick fingers.
It was so hot it burned Caspian’s skin, but instead of having a taste, he
went with the same emotions that had guided him through this sex game
and wiped the spunk on Gunner’s face. “There, have more, you greedy
thing,” he said before spinning Gunner around to watch him.
A beautiful mess with flushed cheeks and cum-stained lips, he was
barely catching his breath when he looked up at Caspian with angelic eyes.

But no matter how much that blue gaze glinted with innocence, the boy had
more in common with demons.
As Gunner licked spunk off Caspian’s fingers, the soft light seeping
through the curtains caught the damp stains trailing from his eyes, making
Caspian’s mind stall in alarm.
“Are you okay?” he asked, gently cupping the smooth cheeks and
rubbing the tears off with his thumbs.
No boy had a prettier smile than Gunner. There was a vulnerability to
it that set Caspian’s heart on fire whenever he was graced with the sight of
those pink lips crooking in joy. Gunner wobbled forward, with the pants
pooling above his knees and leaned against Caspian, as if he were seeking
his care. “I am now. That was mind blowing. Just… so intense.”
Caspian relaxed, and while he felt like giving himself time to
recuperate, he picked Gunner up into his arms and carried him to the
bedroom. The little cum vampire had sucked him dry, and he was relieved
when they rolled onto the bed.
“This was exactly what I needed.” Gunner closed his eyes and settled
his head on Caspian’s arm, not even asking for the belt to be removed. He
seemed thoroughly satisfied, and Caspian longed to give him everything he
needed. Fulfill his every craving. Or just stay in bed together forever. For
now, he claimed his lips in a kiss that tasted of spunk and desire.
“So how was the party?”
Gunner rolled his forehead over Caspian’s bicep with a low groan.
“Hmm… Would it be okay for me to stay here for a few days?”
Caspian blinked, and surprise quickly turned into worry as ice sank
deep into his flesh.
The post-orgasmic bliss melted from his overheated body.
“What did you do?”

“I mean… it wasn’t that bad, but I may have had an argument with
your parents, and shit went a bit sideways.”
The ice in Caspian grew colder as he sat up, his body awoken by
adrenaline. “What kind of argument? Out with it!”
He suspected the reason Gunner rolled to his knees instead of sitting
up, like him, was to seem taller, but that couldn’t make him look dignified
when he still had his pants down and hands tied behind his back.
“I said I was leaving, okay? I lost my shit with Alex, they wanted me
to start in the firm next week, which I couldn’t possibly do, and also, John
Sadler now thinks I’m a psycho, but I’m not, I’m just not gonna bend over
when Alexander Dickface wants to fuck me over!”
“You did what? Jesus Christ!” Caspian’s chest sank, keeping his
breathing shallow as he met the glinting blue eyes. He couldn’t believe
what he was hearing, nor understand it for that matter. “What do you
fucking mean? All you needed to do was keep your head down for a couple
of hours,” he rasped, rolling off the bed, only to hit his elbow on the
cupboard, because there was too little fucking space to accommodate his
size! “What did you do?” he roared, imagining flames engulfing his family
home, police arriving in great numbers, and John Sadler losing his temper
when his relationship with Dad had been so good before. They were as
close to friends as business associates could get.
This couldn’t be fucking happening!
Gunner sat back on his heels with a huff. How could one man be so
tiny, and yet wreck the world around him like a bull on steroids? “I didn’t
do shit! Alexander outed me in front of them! So I lost my cool! I was
doing just fine before that, but no, he had to come over and throw me under
the bus! So I threw him at a table. Big fucking deal! Would you fucking
untie me?”

Caspian moved back and forth in the tight space between the bed and
cupboards, his brain on fire. “What do you mean he ‘outed’ you? How the
fuck would he know?” He yelled and flinched when he spread his arm and
hit the wall.
“He made assumptions after the shopping we did. Asshole. After I
broke his nose—”
“The hell?”
“I told you we had a fight. So I was buzzing after, and kinda…
admitted it was true?” Gunner’s shoulders dropped, but he offered Caspian
a hesitant smile, as if he didn’t realize that there was nothing amusing about
his behavior. This was dreadful. Absolutely fucking worst.
“You admitted—?” But the fact that Gunner had come out in his stead
to his parents and their entire social circle wasn’t the worst of it. He’d also
beat up another person severely enough to break bone, and there had been
at least three dozen witnesses to back up Alex’s story.
He couldn’t fucking breathe.
“You need to go back. You need to apologize to Alex right the fuck
now, and beg him not to press charges!”
“What kind of pussy is he? I barely fucking scratched him!”
“You said you broke his nose!”
Gunner pouted. “Potato tomato.”
Caspian stared at him in horror. “That’s not how the saying goes!”
“And I said untie me! I don’t wanna be here anymore!”
“Yeah, you shouldn’t be,” Caspian yelled, raising his voice. “We’ll
dress and go together, so I can keep you in check, because clearly you can’t
control your fucking temper.” He roughly flipped Gunner over and pulled
on the right fragment of the looped belt in order to loosen the cuff.

He couldn’t believe this was happening. This party had been very
important for Mom and Dad, and Gunner had ruined it. The possibility of
fallout was so great it was making his insides cramp with the stress of it all.
Gunner slid off the bed with a miserable expression and pulled his
pants up. “I’m not going! What if they arrest me?”
“Then you’ll be a good boy and go with the police, apologize, and tell
them you panicked because he outed you in front of everyone,” Caspian
yelled, tossing the belt at the wall, before quickly putting on underwear and
jeans from a pile of clean stuff. “How could you do this to my parents?”
Gunner hugged himself, looking lost, and for a moment Caspian
wanted to give in and tell him everything would be all right. But what the
fuck was wrong with his head? The walking disaster deserved a kick in the
ass, not consolation.
“I’m just a bad fucking person, and you know this!” Gunner finally
yelled as if a dam had broken inside of him, and secret truths could no
longer be held in. He put on his T-shirt but stilled with the jacket in hand
when someone knocked on the door.
“Will you fucking shut it? My baby’s trying to sleep!” Carla, one of
his neighbors yelled.
“I will not shut up! Tell your baby to suck it up. It’s the middle of the
day,” Caspian roared, banging his hand against the wall, out of fucks to
give. It didn’t matter whether people liked him, because at the end of the
day, this wasn’t his world, his home, or his neighbors. If Gunner couldn’t
respect those in his old life, then he’d return the favor.
Gunner put on the jacket, glaring at Caspian as if he had any right to
be pissed off, and headed for the door. “This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t
have come here.”

But Carla wouldn’t give it a rest with the banging, splitting Caspian’s
overworked brain in half. “I’ll tell my husband, you no good bastard!”
This was it.
Caspian pushed past Gunner and ran to the door, opening it into the
woman’s face. Dressed in a skater dress and an open hoodie, she stepped
back, as if suddenly reminded who she was confronting. “You and your
husband fart out of your mouths every other day, and I have to listen to that,
so don’t you fucking come in here and tell me when to argue with my
boyfriend!”
Carla stared at him, for once stunned into silence. Good. But the other
neighbors already peeking at the situation from nearby only angered
Caspian further—as if containing his aggression on a daily basis hadn’t
been hard enough.
Gunner slipped out under his arm and faced Carla. “He’s talking
bullshit, we’re not— It’s not that.”
“Yes, it fucking is,” Caspian said, struck that Gunner had no problem
ruining his life and, possibly, getting him a criminal conviction to stain the
perfect record, yet for some reason expected Caspian to stay civil. “I’m
fucking this guy, because I’m gay. All out in the open now,” he finished,
moving his gaze from Carla to Gunner’s pale face, which was still stained
with cum.
Nearby, Mad Madge got up from her sun chair and started clapping
while her dog bounced around. “Good for you!” she yelled gleefully.
Gunner clenched his fists. “You really think you can do this?”
Caspian laughed and spread his arms as the dark fire of satisfaction
ate through his chest. “What are you gonna do? Burn down my house?”
Carla’s husband, a big bald bastard with a tattooed skull, walked up to
them like a bulldozer looking for a building to demolish. “Russo’s a queer?”

he asked his wife as if Caspian wasn’t there to hear them.
Carla crossed her arms on her chest. “Apparently.”
Gunner screamed out in helpless fury, and for once Caspian was glad
to see him suffer for what he’d done. There were consequences to actions,
and it was about time Gunner learned that.
“Oh, you crossed the line!” Gunner said. “You’ll regret this!”
“Oh really? How will you make me pay, you dwarf?”
Gunner’s shoulders went rigid when a couple of people around burst
out with laughter. “You sure liked fucking this dwarf ten minutes ago, so
who’s the joke now, huh?”
It didn’t even make sense. As if Gunner couldn’t see he was digging a
hole for himself, not Caspian, because once they swapped back, this would
be his life again. Forever.
“What’s not to like? You’re pretty as a picture. But that doesn’t mean
you aren’t acting like a dick and refusing to take responsibility!”
Gunner grabbed the metal trash can outside Caspian’s trailer, but
wasn’t strong enough to pick it up with all the stuff inside, so he ended up
tipping it over in his rage. He kicked around the empty boxes and cans, then
stormed off with another scream.
The gleeful satisfaction of outing him in revenge fizzled out fast, and
Caspian stared at Carla and her man with no joy.
“Show’s over,” he said as he climbed back into his trailer and
slammed the door behind him, suddenly so nauseated he wondered whether
he shouldn’t run to the bathroom to empty his stomach. But he managed to
keep it down and sat on the floor, staring at the covered windows while his
body cooled, leaving behind a dull sensation.
Gunner was crazy. Completely fucking nuts.

How could Caspian have even entertained the possibility that their
relationship could have ever gone beyond sex?

Chapter 24 – Caspian
Caspian’s skin was on fire, and no matter how quickly he paced
around his cramped living room or how many times he’d rolled into bed
and screamed into the pillow, the sense of failure wouldn’t leave him,
buried deep like a rusty knife that would soon cause gangrene.
A part of him wanted to jump into the truck and drive to his parents’
place, do something to pick up the pieces of Gunner’s mess, but the last
thing they needed was a hulking stranger coming over to offer his aid. So he
gave up, lost in the sense of failure.
He’d never smoked, but the moment he found an old pack of
cigarettes at the back of the kitchen cupboard, everything inside him told
him the tobacco would bring some relief.
And it did.
Caspian wasn’t proud of it, but he smoked three in a row while sitting
on the steps leading into his trailer and petting Fluffer, who reluctantly
accepted his company after being offered a catnip snack. And while the air
went cool as the sun set, he was so exhausted following the fight with
Gunner and his neighbors that he stayed still, trying to absorb warmth from
the cat in his lap.

He flinched when a silhouette loomed in the dark, because several
people had casually strolled around his trailer in the past few hours to gape
at the newly out Gunner Russo. But as the slender form approached,
Caspian realized it was Noah. Gunner’s brother didn’t talk to him much,
weirded out by the whole body swap situation, but Caspian had heard from
Gunner that they kept in touch. Too bad Gunner refused to answer any of
his calls and didn’t reply to any of the messages Caspian had sent him, even
though he’d read them all.
“Hey, I just finished work. Is Gunner here?” Noah asked right off the
bat and adjusted his tie dye T-shirt.
“You should call him. Maybe he’ll actually respond,” Caspian said
grimly and stepped on the butt of his cigarette.
Noah pushed back his hair and groaned. “Oh. So he’s not talking to
you either. Figures. You had a fight over the video?”
Something icy stabbed the back of Caspian’s head, and when he
stiffened, Fluffer jumped off his lap with a shriek, as if he felt threatened.
“What video?”
Noah stilled and his eyes widened. “You… you have seen the video,
right?”
Caspian rose, feeling faint. “What’s this about?”
Noah pulled out his phone, fiddled with it, and then turned it to
Caspian, showing him a paused video. “I’m… sorry. I don’t know what he
was thinking.”
But Caspian could no longer hear Noah, freezing to the ground when
the video started with indiscernible shouting. He recognized his parents’
garden, filmed from the balcony above the kitchen. A young man in a shirt
and bow tie, likely a server hired for the event, was posing for a selfie when

shouting erupted on the lawn below. The image shook before focusing on
the action.
It was chaos.
Caspian barely heard his own thoughts through the drumming of
blood in his head. Alex didn’t even sound like himself when he cried out
following a hard kick in the nuts. Flooded by chocolate, with marshmallows
flying from the falling table, the brawl was as brutal as it was glorious.
Witnessing Alexander get his comeuppance was a pleasure as guilty as a
marathon of ’90-Day Fiancé with Gunner.
The camera zoomed back in on the server after Dad dragged Gunner
off Alexander.
“All you need to know about the guy getting his ass kicked by the
twink in the blue suit, is that he asked me about the origin of the cocoa
because ‘he only ate Trinidadian’,” the server said with a pout and stared
into the camera.
Of course he fucking did, the snob. Clearly, the Ecuadorian variety
Mom preferred wasn’t good enough for him!
Caspian was mortified. For his mom. For his dad. For the damage this
would do to his reputation.
But seeing Alex put in his place after years of suffering the indignity
of his snide remarks, and especially after the stunt he’d pulled helping
Gunner shop, was too much of a treat to pass on. So he put the video on
loop and chuckled every time Gunner, the rabid twink, kicked Caspian’s
frenemy in the nuts. The moment when they both collapsed on the table,
covered by splashing chocolate was sublime.
And just about the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.
“So… um… You don’t think he’s in jail, right?” Noah asked when the
chocolate fountain on the screen collapsed for the fourth time.

Caspian choked on air and stared at him, suddenly frozen with fear.
“He was here a few hours ago. Do you think they could have gotten to
him?”
Noah raised his eyebrows. “I just asked you if you knew.”
“What if they put him in a cell with some psycho? He’s so small,”
Caspian uttered, rubbing the top of his head and once again choosing
Gunner’s number. Should he go to the police station and demand to see
him, if he was there? Was that kind of thing allowed? Caspian had never
even been to a police station. And while he wanted to advocate on Gunner’s
behalf if it was needed, he didn’t wish to draw attention to the violent
encounter between Gunner’s fists and Alexander’s face either. Which left
him at a crossroads, and without any indication about which path was the
better option.
After hours of ignoring Caspian’s calls, Gunner finally picked up.
“Don’t fucking call me, I’m busy!” he yelled, and… hung up.
The audacity!
Caspian roared and punched the side of the trailer, shocked when its
wall gave, creating a fist-sized dip.
“You call him. You ask him where he is, or I’m gonna kill him!”
Noah frowned and pressed his full lips into a tight line. “Did you beat
him up? He’s half your size now!”
Caspian raised his hands, because the accusation felt like a slap.
“What? I would never! He told me he fucked up my parents’ party, and we
argued. That’s it!”
Noah put his phone in his pocket and shook his head. “Okay, listen, I
hoped he’d be here, but this is getting out of hand, and I know you really
want to swap back, so we should write down exactly what happened to you

on the night before you changed places and see what stands out. I wanna
help, and I know my brother can be a bit… much.”
Today’s events proved that life couldn’t go on until Caspian was back
in his own body. He missed his parents, and Gunner wasn’t equipped to
handle the unfamiliar life, but still, he couldn’t stop the deep sadness
spreading through his chest like wine over white cotton when he thought of
this adventure coming to an end.
“We need to find him. This guy he beat up? He’ll do everything in his
power to fuck me over, and now he has me by the balls.”
Noah rested both his hands on his nape, pacing in front of Caspian.
“But I talked to Madge. She told me how she remembered that night. You
drank with her, but she never even saw Gun that evening. She said she’s
happy to—”
“I don’t fucking care, okay? We need to find Gunner. He might be in
trouble!” Caspian demanded and locked the door to the trailer. Fluffer
escaped right under his feet, but he didn’t have time to deal with the furball
right now. If he wanted back home, the flap at the bottom of the door was
all he needed.
Noah stared at him for a prolonged moment, as if he were trying to
read his thoughts. “Are you worried about him or your real body?”
Caspian walked toward the truck, nervously glancing around. It was
dark, and Gunner wasn’t used to being in danger. He might walk into a bad
situation without knowing, unless Caspian managed to locate him. “How
can you even ask that question?”
Noah had to power-walk in order to keep up with him. “I mean… he
told me he hadn’t exactly been kind to you.”
Caspian barely remembered it anymore, as if the old Gunner had been
a different person, separate from the cute boy occupying too many of

Caspian’s thoughts. “I’m not gonna fault him for something he did in high
school. We’ve both outgrown this.”
“I’m happy to hear that you think so. He puts up a front, but he’s—”
Noah froze at the sight of Todd and his brother leaning against the back of
Gunner’s truck.
“Heard you got some news, Russo,” Todd said with a scowl, casually
resting a baseball bat on his shoulder.

Chapter 25 – Caspian
A baseball bat? Really? The instincts instilled in Gunner’s body
allowed Caspian to defend himself just fine against fists, but how was he to
deal with a weapon when he didn’t have one of his own? Still, the fire
burning inside him grew when he realized those fuckers were yet another
obstacle to finding Gunner.
“Not now.”
Todd scowled, and his brother obstructed the way to the door on the
driver’s side, his eyes glinting like a coyote’s. “Yes, fucking now. Or does
your little boyfriend not let you talk to strangers, huh?”
Neither Todd nor his brother were strangers. But Caspian had no
doubt this conversation would be going off the rails for reasons other than
logical sentence structure.
Noah licked his lips. “Is he talking about…?”
“Not in front of my little brother, fuck face,” Caspian growled,
squeezing his hands into fists. His vision blurred at the edges, and he
stepped closer, only mildly wary of the baseball bat. Something inside him
told him to go forward. To confront. To punch first. He’d never experienced
such impulses in his own body, but he loved the rush they gave him, and his
confidence had soared after the daily boxing lessons with Gunner.

Todd cocked his head with a mean grin. “Why not? You told the
whole trailer park you’re a faggot. Why hide it now? Took you long enough
to show your true colors, but I always felt there was something off about
you.”
Caspian stopped inches away from Todd and stared straight into his
mean, squinting eyes. “Yeah, I don’t fucking care. Is that all, or do you
actually have something to say? Don’t have time for idle chatter.”
Todd pushed at his chest with the handle of the bat, but Caspian
wouldn’t budge. “Sure fucking do. You’re out, fag. We do a man’s job, so
there’s no place for you with us, get it?”
Which might just have been the best thing that happened today, yet it
still hurt to be called a slur to his face. Todd had done it back in high
school, and when Gunner and his buddies had ganged up on Caspian at the
gym, but it was different this time. This time, Todd wasn’t using it as a
generic belittling remark but a weapon against a man whose sexuality he
knew.
“Fine. Now get away from my truck,” he said and shoved at Todd.
“You watch those hands!” Todd yelled and pushed him back. “We’re
done when I say we’re done!”
The desire to destroy this fucker burned hot in Caspian, like a pile of
paper covered in gasoline. The humiliating confrontation at the gym came
right back, and Caspian wished to rip the bat out of Todd’s hand and smash
in his skull. “Fuck you. You want me out? Fine. Now get out of my way, or
you’ll regret it!”
Ralph stood behind his brother like a silent warning. They couldn’t
shun Caspian and be done with it. No, they had to make it a fight. Caspian
didn’t know if this was some gangster masculinity issue he didn’t
comprehend, or simply years of low-key animosity being let off the chain,

but once more he was forced to see Gunner’s life issues weren’t a question
of just changing jobs. He was in debt, entangled with these homophobic
assholes, and a witness of the many crimes they’d committed together.
“No!” Noah yelled the second Caspian realized Todd swung the
baseball bat at him.
He should have foreseen this and not been this slow, but as he raised
his hand, trying to grab it, the weapon skidded over his arm and hit his ribs.
Out of breath from the sudden pain, he slammed into the side of the truck.
The world trembled, its shades fading as he focused on movement and
backed away right before the baseball bat collided with his body again. This
time, it hit metal, and Caspian grabbed it with so much fury, the single,
powerful tug not only ripped the weapon out of Todd’s hands but also made
him stumble.
Caspian brought the bat down on the fucker’s back, knocking him
into the dirt.
Ralph shoved him away before Caspian could have hit Todd another
time, but the rush of adrenaline was enough to give him a high. Todd Brown
was scum and deserved nothing beyond a kick in the nuts, broken bones,
and years in prison.
So Caspian charged right back and smashed his boot into the bastard’s
stomach for good measure.
“Stop it! You’re gonna kill him!” Noah yelled and tugged on his arm
just as Ralph pulled out a switchblade.
Todd squirmed in the dirt, curled into a ball. “You’ll regret this,
Russo,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Right back at you. Fuck the fuck off and out of my life, both of
you!” Caspian roared, ignoring all the shadows appearing in trailer
windows around them.

“Kill yourself, you damn faggot. It’s gonna be mercy,” Ralph hollered
but didn’t attack and instead dragged Todd away, constantly looking over
the shoulder, as if he’d finally realized Caspian was a force to be reckoned
with.
The baseball bat felt so right in Caspian’s hand he swung it through
the air for good measure before opening the truck. “Get in,” he told Noah
and tossed the weapon inside.
Noah shook his head with a pained expression, but did as told. “They
won’t let this go. Fuck!”
Well, at least Caspian had unleashed some of the pent-up fury.
“What can those troglodytes do? Fuck them. I don’t deserve to hide
all my life, and neither does Gunner,” Caspian said and reached across
Noah’s body to grab the seatbelt. Gunner had told him in detail about the
terrible accident that had left his brother with scars and Gunner—in debt,
and while the boy wasn’t really Caspian’s relative, he needed to take care of
him for Gunner’s sake.
They didn’t speak for a while as Caspian started the truck and drove
off with a screech of tires. He didn’t know where to yet, but he needed to be
out of this shithole.
“So… Gunner’s gay, isn’t he?” Noah said quietly once they were out
on the main road.
Caspian stilled, wishing he’d bitten his tongue. “Well… yeah. But
you didn’t hear it from me,” he said, heading for the town centre.
Noah played with his seatbelt, his face hidden behind the mass of
curls. “Are you two like… doing stuff?”
Caspian’s face flushed with intense heat, and he focused on the
headlights revealing the asphalt road ahead. He wasn’t sure how much
Gunner would have wanted him to say, but Noah seemed like a good

enough kid, and Gunner would need all the support he could get once the
two of them returned to their own bodies. “We’re… dating,” he said,
realizing that he wasn’t comfortable keeping that fact hidden. As crazy as
Gunner sometimes made him, their relationship wasn’t just about sex.
“Oh. Isn’t that really weird though?” Noah cocked his head and
scratched his nose, as if he were trying to remove a freckle.
Caspian scowled. “It used to be weird at first, but my face looks
completely different when he’s the one behind it.”
Noah squinted. “Okay, I get it, ‘cause your expressions are often
different to Gunner’s. It’s freaking me out, to be honest.”
“There you go. He’s much cuter than I was. And he had this I’ll-cutyou twink mode, which is weirdly hot on him, right?” Caspian asked with a
weak laugh.
Noah’s eyebrows rose. “I err… wouldn’t know. Since he’s my brother
and all? But it’s kinda funny that he’s smaller than me and still has that
stupid swagger. And then you’re so put together in comparison. Fixed his
car, cleaned the trailer… I heard you sorted out Mrs. Weller’s plumbing,
and she already recommended you to her brother. I’m sorry he’s messing up
your life, but we’ll work out how to swap you two back eventually.”
Swap back.
That was what Caspian should’ve wanted, but along with getting back
his life, his degree, his parents, and possessions, he’d be losing a body that
made him feel so comfortable. The cute boy who smelled of berries and had
fluffy blond hair would be gone forever.
Caspian already missed him.
“I just want him safe. He’s your brother. Where could he be?”
Noah listed several places around town and promised to be on the
lookout, but the suggestion that Gunner was messing up Caspian’s life

wouldn’t stop bugging him, and he was itching to set the matter straight.
So Gunner had made a scene at the party, but Caspian knew how hard
he’d tried to fit in. He simply didn’t have the same upbringing and made a
mistake. “He’s trying really hard. I shouted at him, and I shouldn’t have, but
he refused to apologize for the scene he made at the party, and I lost my
temper,” he said, kneading the wheel nervously as they passed the first
location on Noah’s list. Unfortunately, Gunner was nowhere to be seen
around the closed video rental shop.
Noah snorted. “Sounds like him all right. Does he also disappear on
you when he doesn’t wanna deal with something?”
“That’s Gunner. I need to re-educate him when it comes to this shit,”
Caspian said, shaking his head.
Noah twirled his fingers, swallowing several times, as if he were
psyching himself up. “I was surprised he stuck around when our dad died.
But… he’s always there when it matters, you know? And I think you matter
to him. You’re all he talks about. And not just because of the swap. It’s all
‘Caspian was so good at boxing today’, and ‘Caspian knows all this fancy
food’. Apparently you had him taste basil ice cream?”
A small flame flickered deep in Caspian’s heart, only to grow,
coursing through his veins along with blood. “Does he really? What else did
he say?” Caspian asked, suddenly desperate to dig up every clue Gunner
could have dropped.
Noah grinned. “I was laughing that you probably eat a burger with a
knife and fork, and he got so angry on your behalf it was hilarious. He was
all, ‘he’s nothing like that, he’s nice, you don’t know him’.”
Caspian chuckled, feeling warm, as if Noah had served him a cup of
hot chocolate with chili. He kind of knew Gunner liked him, but didn’t

expect him to be so serious about it and even defend him from such silly
accusations, just because he thought they were an insult.
“Yeah… he can be quite sensitive when you know where to look,”
Caspian said, in disbelief, because this description sounded nothing like the
guy he used to hate for so many years. The same one he’d hated only weeks
ago.
“It makes sense now that you said you’re dating. I teased him about it,
but he wouldn’t say yes or no. I don’t know what he’s scared of. I don’t
even…” Noah bit his lip, glancing at Caspian, “know where I stand on the
sexuality thing.”
Oh. Oooooh.
“He might freak out, but he’ll understand,” Caspian said quickly,
passing the library and the café where he’d been humiliated over daring to
flirt with the barista.
“Look.” Noah straightened up like a meerkat and tapped Caspian’s
shoulder. “By the gas station. Is that him?”
He pointed to a figure occupying a bench with a bottle in hand, and
while it was far from the roofing above the pumps, and its lights, there was
a familiarity to the silhouette.
Caspian stepped on the gas pedal and cut through the other lane,
passing right in front of a vehicle that rapidly slowed down. He ignored the
sound of the horn and parked by the store, rolling out of the truck the
moment its engine stilled.
His heart beat fast with worry, but when his gaze trailed to the bench
and the hunched figure, he immediately recognized the lavender trainers
and the pale hair falling into Gunner’s face.
“Gun!”

Gunner looked up at him in the faint light that reached his sad little
spot surrounded by random trash, and stiffened with a cigarette in one hand
and a beer in the other. His car was parked in the shadows nearby, as if he
planned to drive the expensive Southfield while drunk. Then again, he’d
said he’d moved out so he probably meant to sleep in the car, or even on the
fucking bench, since the night was so warm.
“What do you want?” Gunner asked, glancing to Noah, who stayed a
few steps behind Caspian.
Caspian exhaled, determined to reassure him. “I saw you destroy
Alex. That was quite something,” he said with a small smile.
Gunner’s shoulders relaxed a bit, and while Caspian was itching to
pull the cigarette out of his hand, it could wait. “I shouldn’t have done that.
I…”
Go on, say it. Say you’re sorry.
And then Caspian noticed it. Ink. Right under Gunner’s collar bones,
clearly visible under the loose white tank top. Caspian’s anger came back
like a tsunami and crashed over him. While Caspian had been agonizing
about their argument for all those hours, Gunner had taken revenge against
him by tattooing his body without Caspian’s consent?
Un-fucking-believable.
He grabbed the collar with both hands and ripped it open in a
powerful tug. “What. The. Fuck, Gunner?” He uttered, staring at the huge
black letters on reddened skin. The fucker had even removed the dressing,
as if he wanted it all to get infected!
Between the outlines of two guns, bold gothic script read GUNNER.
Caspian wanted to cry but no tears would fill his eyes.
Gunner yelped and his half-smoked cigarette fell to the ground, but
the ripped fabric revealed not only the tattoo but also… pierced nipples.

This was insanity.
Instead of fighting Caspian though, Gunner looked down his chest
and… sobbed. “It made sense at the time.”
“How did you even pay for this?”
Gunner bit his trembling lip. “I know a guy…”
What a fucking mess.
And the worst thing? The moment Gunner made that pathetic sound,
the fury buzzing inside Caspian was replaced by worry. Had someone hurt
him? Was he unwell?
And that was when Caspian saw something even more disturbing than
the tattoo. Or the piercings.
A small piece of a Snickers bar remaining in an opened wrapper. It
just sat on the bench, right next to the bottle of beer Gunner had been
drinking from.
Caspian’s head filled with red hot smoke. “Had… did you eat this?”
he asked breathlessly and pointed to the bar.
Gunner rubbed his eyes. “What? Eating healthy is the least of our
problems, isn’t it?”
“You’re allergic to nuts! Where’s your EpiPen?” Caspian asked,
squeezing Gunner’s hips to see if he could feel the familiar shape in the jean
pockets. Nothing.
“Am I?” Gunner looked up with dazed eyes. How much had he
already drank? “Why do I need a pen?”
Panic filled Caspian from head to toe. He needed to take Gunner to
the hospital, and fast!
“Yes, I fucking told you. What the hell were you thinking?” Caspian
asked, pulling him up to his feet. A middle-aged couple watched them from

inside the store, but he ignored them, focused on getting to the emergency
room before the allergic reaction took hold.
“I don’t know!” Gunner cried. “We’ve already established I’m a dumb
fuck, who can’t get anything right. How allergic am I? Am I gonna die?” He
gasped and grabbed his neck, staring up at Caspian with reddened eyes.
“You’re not gonna die, because we’ll take you to the ER,” Caspian
said and took the car keys from Gunner before opening the passenger seat
of the Southfield to help him in. His attention briefly lapsed when the damp
blue eyes met his, and he wiped away a tear rolling down Gunner’s cheek.
“And you’re not dumb. Now strap your seatbelt.”
“Is he okay? What’s going on?” Noah asked, approaching them
quickly.
“I’m taking him to the hospital. Take care of my truck,” Caspian said
and tossed him the keys.
“But—”
“Noah?” Gunner rasped. “If I die, you can take all my stuff, okay?”
“He’s not gonna die. I’ll call you” Caspian said and turned on the
engine as soon as he sat behind the wheel, determined to make it to the ER
before the idiot living in his body choked to death. He stepped on the gas
hard and drove onto the road, speeding toward the nearest hospital.

Chapter 26 – Gunner
Gunner went into full-on panic mode even before his airways started
to swell, but Caspian had been there, holding his hand, rubbing his back,
telling him when to inhale, and when to exhale. He’d felt sick and got an
ugly rash. By the time they’d arrived at the ER, Caspian was so frantic he
carried Gunner in and demanded help. It had all been a whirlwind after that.
Eventually, the symptoms had subsided, and Gunner had fallen asleep with
Caspian sitting at his bedside, exhausted.
A ping brought him back to reality, and he blinked, opening his eyes
to see Caspian chewing on a rice waffle and typing something on the
iPhone, which, theoretically, belonged to Gunner now. He had shadows
under the eyes, but those couldn’t make him any less handsome to Gunner.
The room was small and basic, with no decoration nor comforts
beyond the blanket covering Gunner and the chair Caspian occupied, but it
was where Gunner managed not to die, and that counted for something.
“Um… what time is it? Did you use my finger to unlock the phone?”
Gunner asked, still a bit dazed.
Caspian looked up, blinking. “Uh… between two and three a.m. How
are you feeling?” He asked, pulling the stool closer to the hospital bed and
taking hold of Caspian’s hand. He dropped the phone in his lap.

Gunner didn’t deserve all this care after what he’d put Caspian
through. He was an embarrassment. “Just tired, and a bit achy. Do I… do I
have insurance for this?” He squeezed Caspian’s hand even though he
didn’t know why Caspian would want to touch him after today. But he was
needy, and he’d take whatever he could get.
Caspian offered him a weak smile. “Yeah, I gave them the insurance
number, remember?”
Gunner didn’t, but he’d been too frantic to notice such things. Caspian
had taken care of everything.
“I exchanged some messages with Mom and Dad. They’re worried.
And they say they’ll love me no matter what,” Caspian said, and his smile
broadened, as if there was a positive to this whole situation, other than
Gunner not dying. “They seem to think you panicked because Alex outed
you in front of everyone, so I guess that’s why they’re so forgiving.”
Gunner fell back on the pillow with a deep sigh, painfully sober again
and all too aware of what he’d done. “Well, it’s not not true. You said
there’s a video?”
Caspian chuckled, grabbed the phone and rubbed the fingerprint
reader against Gunner’s digit. “Oh, and Noah also knows you’re okay. He’s
the one who showed me this,” he said, offering him the phone.
Gunner watched the video in growing horror. Had he really done that?
At an elegant party? He was fucking rabid and didn’t deserve to walk
among people. No wonder others thought he was scum. He hid his face in
his hands as soon as the video ended.
“Why am I such a shit? Sometimes I just can’t think fast enough, and
then I—I can’t live your life. I’m useless.”
“I wouldn’t go that far, but yeah, you screwed up and didn’t even say
sorry,” Caspian replied, a bit more harshly this time. “And that tattoo?

And… piercings? What—?”
Gunner shook his head, overwhelmed by regret chewing through his
insides. “I just wanted to feel more like myself. B-but I am sorry,” he
whispered from behind his hands. “I’d like to make things right, but I’ll
never be like you. I don’t have your vocabulary, or skills, or brains. I love
being in this body, but I can’t be you.”
Caspian exhaled, his shoulders dropping as he squeezed his own
nipples through the T-shirt. “Last time I checked you didn’t have them
pierced. Was that just about getting back at me somehow?”
Gunner knocked his fist against his forehead. “I guess I… I was at the
tattoo studio, and I remembered how you liked playing with them, and it
was a bit of a spur of the moment kinda decision. Do you… like it?” Heat
shot to his head when he realized how embarrassing that was. “Sorry. Don’t
answer that. I’m an idiot. I need to make things right for you.”
Caspian sucked in his bottom lip. Chewed it. And then grabbed the
sides of Gunner’s collar, only to rip the top all the way to the bottom,
making it into a flimsy vest. Cool air tickled Gunner’s chest, and he froze in
a moment of unexpected excitement when Caspian leaned in and placed his
massive, warm hands on his skin, as if he were about to gather all the meat
on Gunner’s pecs.
The tender flesh ached, but when Caspian kept his warm palms
motionless, the throbbing became oddly pleasant.
“It’s… it’s a good look on you.”
Excitement tickled Gunner’s skin, but this really wasn’t the time to
indulge in compliments. “How are you not smashing my face in?” He
glanced down at those massive, tattooed hands, and while they used to
belong to him, now they were Caspian’s, and he wanted to kiss them all
over.

Caspian rolled his eyes and scowled before meeting Gunner’s gaze.
“Mostly because you could have died. Also, you’re so cute it should be
considered a lethal weapon,” he muttered and shook his head.
Gunner placed his hands over Caspian’s and held them to his chest,
imagining an alternative world where this man’s strong arms would never
let him go. It might have been a fantasy, but a beautiful one. “How can I
make things better?” he asked, desperate to show Caspian that he wasn’t a
waste of space.
He half-expected Caspian to laugh, ask for a lap dance, or a blowjob,
but he sucked on his teeth and looked at Gunner. “Noah keeps talking about
ways to swap us back, and I… I want to see my parents again, talk to them
like I’m not a stranger. And I was really excited about starting my new job.”
The faint smile died on his lips, and he pulled on Gunner’s hand,
enfolding it in his massive paws. If Caspian’s parents could excuse what
Gunner had done earlier, then they must really love him.
“Yes, of course,” Gunner said right away. “I’ll do everything I can to
make it happen. I’m so sorry I outed you, but Alex—and… yeah. We’re
even on that front.” He dreaded to even think about the gossip that must
have spread through the trailer park like wildfire.
“About that… I had a fight with Ralph and Todd. They don’t want to
sell drugs with you anymore,” Caspian said quietly, his eyes turning as if he
didn’t dare look up.
Gunner couldn’t blame Caspian. This whole mess was his fault, but
how was he to pay off his debt without those two clowns? “Fuck. Fuck,
fuck, fuck. Did it get violent? Are you okay?”
Caspian shrugged and lifted his shirt, showing off the bruises on his
side. “Todd’s hurt more. But don’t worry, we’ll think of something and
work out a new status quo,” he said with so much conviction a part of

Gunner believed that his life might take a turn for the better, even once he
was back in the body that had restricted him.
“Sure. I’m sure it will work out,” he said, just because he didn’t want
to dim Caspian’s optimism, but he’d already lost hope that his life could
change course and avoid the eventual crash-landing in prison or in a body
bag. They needed to find a way to swap back, but Gunner had no future
plans or ideas beyond that. The vague dream of becoming a piano teacher
would be dead in the water as soon as he was back in his hulking body, with
fingers that didn’t understand how to play and a brain that couldn’t read
sheet music.
“There’s one more thing,” Caspian said, moving to sit on the edge of
Gunner’s bed. Even so late at night, after carrying him to the ER, he
smelled so good Gunner wished to open his pants and show him how much
his help was appreciated. But Caspian squeezed Gunner’s shoulder in a very
non-sexual way and spoke. “Alex is here.”
Gunner’s stomach clenched in panic. “Oh no. You want him to beat
me up so we’re even?” He met Caspian’s gaze, unsure if he could take that
right now when so pumped out.
But the handsome face froze. Was he having a stroke?
“Er… no. I want you to go to his room and grovel.”
Oh. Oh no. That was so much worse. Gunner’s cheeks already heated
up from the shame of it. His tongue tied in his mouth, as if it didn’t want to
produce words, and his expression must have made his opinion clear,
because Caspian frowned.
“Gunner…” he said in warning.
“Okay. Okay. I’ll do it. I just… I’ll try not to mess up.”
“You will not mess this up, because I’m not going to court over this,”
Caspian said in a stern voice that was annoyingly sexy.

Gunner couldn’t even discern anymore if he was doing this for
himself or for Caspian, but for Caspian’s sake, yeah, he’d apologize, grovel,
and kiss ass to Alex if need be.
He took a deep breath and sat up with a nervous smile. “Or we could
like, go off the grid and never come back.”
Caspian stilled, and his arm slowly rested on Gunner’s shoulders. “It
would be a dream, and we’d never have to wake up from it. But I can’t
leave my family. I don’t want to.”
And Gunner would have never demanded that from Caspian. He gave
Caspian a quick hug, because fuck knew how much longer they had with
the swap, and he’d squeeze as much joy as he could out of every second
together. “Just kidding, I wouldn’t leave Noah either. Let’s get this over
with. Where’s Alex?”
Caspian’s nose rubbed the top of his head as he breathed in, and the
tickle of air moving over Gunner’s hair was so pleasant he curled his toes,
as if he’d been caressed deliberately.
“I don’t think anyone’s ever hit him like you did.”
Gunner groaned but let Caspian lead him into the bright hospital
corridor. “‘Cause he was so fucking rude, and expected me to just take it. Is
that what I should have done? Grinded my teeth and kept my mouth shut?”
Caspian shushed him by placing one finger across Gunner’s mouth
and gestured at the empty corridor. Right, it was late at night, and many
patients were asleep.
“I still can’t decide whether I’m angry at you or if I find the whole
rabid twink thing sexy,” Caspian whispered, herding Gunner by gently
pushing his back.
Gunner bit back a nervous laugh. He sure hoped it was the latter. “I’m
not very good at apologies,” he whispered when they stood in front of a

mint-green door. His hands were already sweating with unease at the
upcoming confrontation, but Caspian didn’t leave him a choice and
knocked.
A dull sound came from inside, but Caspian didn’t hesitate and
opened the small room with several bouquets of flowers resting on a table
close to the bed, as if Alex had suffered a serious accident, not a couple of
punches to his face.
Wimp.
Gunner had to admit he barely recognized the man behind the
dressing and heavy bruising, but Alex realized who’d walked in, because he
went stiff and moved his hand toward a button on the wall, as if he were
trying to suggest that he’d call for staff at even the smallest hint of hint of
threat.
“What the hell are you doing here, dwarf? You have a henchman
now?”
Gunner stuffed his hands into his pockets, simmering in the indignity
of the offence he wished to punch off Alex’s lips.
“No… that… he’s my boyfriend,” Gunner mumbled. “No need to
alarm anyone. I came to say… to say…” Caspian nudged his back. “To say
I’m sorry.”
Alex stared at them, his arms folding across his chest. “You’re just
scared shitless of having to deal with the police.”
Caspian spoke first, in a clear, stern voice. “No. He panicked because
you outed him at a party. To his parents, their friends, and co-workers. That
was really not cool, but errare humanum est. Let’s work it out between the
three of us.”
Alex stared at him with more attention. “I know you.”
“Impossible,” Caspian said. “I don’t move in your kind of circles.”

But Alex was already bristling, and an oily lock of blond hair fell on
his forehead and the massive dressing covering the nose. “You had a road
rage freak-out at me two weeks ago or so.” He glanced back to Gunner.
“Like peas in a pod, the two of you, huh? Though I never actually pegged
you for a gay man before, Cas. You never had any style.”
Gunner had to bite the inside of his cheek to bear this. “Can we please
consider this a misunderstanding between old friends? Look at me, I
wouldn’t last in jail.” He laughed, hoping the self-deprecation would be up
Alex’s alley.
Alex exhaled, staring at him for the longest time. “No, you would not.
Though you might end up with a whole collection of big bad boyfriends
from the other side of the tracks if the judge decided not to let you off the
hook with just a fine and some community service.”
Gunner’s face flushed at the threat. He couldn’t bring himself to meet
Alex’s eyes, and was nervously pulling on his own fingers. It felt like being
a teen again, and having to answer to his father for a job he’d fucked up.
“Is there anything I can do to make things better?” he tried.
“Sell me your car.”
Just like that. It came out as if Alex had been keeping this sentence at
the back of his throat and waiting for an opportunity to let it out.
Gunner wasn’t sure how to answer, and his tongue tangled, because
the vehicle wasn’t his, but Caspian answered before Gunner could have
decided what to do.
“Yes. He will sell it, won’t you, Caspian?” he asked, glaring at
Gunner, who at this point could only nod. He knew how much Caspian
loved that car. He’d even insisted on washing it himself the few times
Gunner came to visit him at the trailer park, because he didn’t want it
accidentally scratched by car wash workers.

He’d just sell it, as if it meant nothing?
Alex’s gaze moved between the two of them, but when Gunner didn’t
protest, he spoke on. “For a hundred grand.”
It was a ridiculous amount of money for a car so old and this unique,
but Caspian spoke faster than Gunner again. “You gotta be joking. If you
want to pay so little, get a 1930s Ford model A, not a unique vehicle like
the Southfield. You’ll need to pull at least twice that out of your pocket.”
Alex raised his eyebrows, as if he knew he’d won. “You’re the one
haggling with me over your tiny boyfriend getting dragged through court
and jail? My forgiveness is worth more than that car, but I’m willing to be
kind for old times’ sake…”
Gunner swallowed, glancing up at Caspian. This mess was his fault,
and therefore he should’ve been bearing the consequences, but life wasn’t
fair, and Caspian would be the one to have his future put through the
grinder once they swapped. It only made sense he wanted this over as soon
as possible and without charges.
But he didn’t flinch. “Three hundred and fifty grand and the car is
yours.”
Alex might have flushed under all the swelling and dressings, but he
kept still, and for the longest moment, the room sunk in tense silence. And
then, he shook his head at Gunner. “You know what? Keep the car. I’ll see
you in court.”
Caspian’s jaw muscles twitched, and for the longest moment the
world stood still. And then he spoke. “Hundred and fifty then. You know
that’s dirt cheap.”
Alexander grinned, and his gaze stopped on Gunner, as if he wanted
to make a point of humiliating him. “I win.”
“I guess you do,” Caspian said and gently pushed Gunner forward.

Gunner gave a nervous smile and reached out to Alex. “I’m sorry. For
the nose and shit.”
Alex hesitated, but in the end gave Gunner’s hand a brief squeeze.
“I’ll be calling you about the car once I feel better. You should really
apologize to your parents.”
Gunner groaned, eager to just be out of here as fast as possible. He
wasn’t looking forward to the conversation with Barb and Thomas, even
though Caspian had already handled the worst of it for him through
messages.
He mumbled a goodbye and an awkward “get well soon” as they left,
but back in the empty corridor, he clung to Caspian with a tight hug. “I’m
so sorry.”
He couldn’t believe Caspian would be losing his beloved car because
of him, and to his arch nemesis at that!
Caspian patted him on the back, already leading the way down the
hallway. “It’s just a car. Don’t worry.”
Gunner rubbed his face. “How are you not angry with me?”
Caspian exhaled, staring at the exit ahead. “Honestly, I have no idea,
but here we are.”
Gunner snorted and dared to entwine their hands in public even
though the only person to see them was a nurse behind the desk close to a
double door. “Is it ‘cause I’m real cute?” Something that would end as soon
as they swapped back.
“Yeah, that could have something to do with it. Though I might use
those pierced nipples to punish you once we’re home,” Caspian said with a
small smile before segwaying to the desk in order to deal with a few
formalities.

They were already in the dark parking lot when Gunner’s phone rang,
and he stilled, knowing no one called in the middle of the night, unless it
was important, but his shoulders relaxed when he saw Noah’s name on the
screen.
“Hey, didn’t Cas tell you I’m fine? You can’t take my stuff,” Gunner
said as he picked up the call.
The silence alarmed him, sending visions of his brother beaten up and
held hostage by the Brown brothers, but Noah finally spoke. “There’s
nothing left to take, Gun. They set your trailer on fire. I woke up to sirens.
The fire is still going, but there’s… there’s nothing left. I’ve got Fluffer,” he
added quickly. “I’m so sorry.”
Reality kept hitting Gunner’s skull again and again, yet didn’t seem to
land a punch. He couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t comprehend it. He didn’t
have much, but the trailer had been his home for years. He had nowhere to
go.
Caspian grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the truck. “Let’s
go!”

Chapter 27 – Gunner
Barely anything was left of Gunner’s old life by the time they reached
the trailer park. All the residents were up, frantically packing, in case the
fire spread, or watching the firefighters deal with the damage. Gunner’s
place had been ground zero, but the flames had taken over several homes
around it. It was over by the time the sky started to brighten.
The air still smelled of the fumes, and Gunner doubted anyone would
get any sleep after waking up to face the fragility of their existence, but the
reality that had burnt down didn’t feel like his own anymore. His and
Caspian’s identities had been entangled so tightly he couldn’t tell where one
began and the other ended. At times, he wasn’t even sure what to call
himself.
But he knew for sure that Caspian was the one who’d have to live in
the ruins of Gunner’s life now—homeless. While Gunner could support him
with the money earned on the sale of the Southfield, it wasn’t his money to
spend. For all they knew, Alex could call the transaction off come
tomorrow, and then Caspian would be fucked.
Once it was clear that there was nothing left to salvage from Gunner’s
home, they’d ended up resting on a log set up in front of an old, charred
barbeque grill by a neighbor’s trailer. Deep in his self-punishing thoughts,

Gunner hadn’t noticed Noah’s approach and flinched when a blanket
dropped to his shoulders.
“I took Fluffer to my mom’s,” Noah said, rubbing his eyes.
It was such a relief to know that at least the cat survived. The fluffball
had been with Gunner for over two years now, and Todd would find out the
meaning of war if the pet had suffered.
Because he had no doubt that his ex-friends were behind the fire.
Furious that the pair of them hadn’t managed to intimidate and beat up a
gay man, the arson was an expression of fury, homophobia, and a big fuckyou for the years they’d spent together. A voice at the back of Gunner’s
head told him that Caspian should have known some actions had bitter
consequences, but the truth was that Caspian had no point of reference for
this kind of situation. And while he shouldn’t have outed Gunner in the first
place, there was no turning back time.
Without a job or a roof over his head, Caspian was vulnerable in ways
he didn’t seem to understand, and if Gunner cared for him, he needed to do
the right thing.
“Caspian said you had an idea for the swap? That you spoke with
Madge?” Gunner said, looking up at his kid brother. It was still night time,
but the horizon had already turned pink and blue.
Noah opened his mouth but didn’t speak, his eyes fixed on a stretcher
carried by two of the firefighters. There was a black bag on it, shaped like a
person, and all three of them stilled, watching the dead body being carried
away.
“Yeah. Just before—” Noah uttered and gestured at the stretcher.
Smoke filled Gunner’s lungs and scratched his throat. “No…”
“Everyone else got away in time. But there was so much stuff in her
trailer. She might have gotten blocked and couldn’t get out.”

Caspian exhaled and rubbed his face. “Shit.”
Gunner had liked Madge. Sure, she was the wacky neighbor who
asked uncomfortable questions and often listened to music too loudly, but
she didn’t deserve a death like this, through no fault of her own.
Gunner got up and handed Noah the blanket. His brother had even
brought him a T-shirt he could wear for now. “Let’s at least try to retrace
your steps that night.”
“Will it count if she’s not with us?” Caspian uttered in a bland voice.
“She appeared with her dog and talked to me, and we drank moonshine.”
Gunner spread his arms with despair filling his heart. “I don’t know.
What else do we have left? Maybe if we at least found Dingo—do you
know if he was in the trailer with her, Noah? And you, Cas, what else do
you remember? All the details.”
Noah’s shoulders relaxed. “I saw him running around and whining
while everything burned. He’s either still here or someone had taken him
in”
“We should find the dog,” Caspian said, standing up somewhat
shakily, as if he were in a daze.
Since it was safe, most of the residents had already gone back to their
homes, so the three of them switched on the flashlight option in their
phones and ventured out, determined to find Dingo. Noah managed to
secure two jars of Madge’s moonshine from a neighbor who was
particularly fond of it, and made them pay premium for the questionable
drink, but it wasn’t the time to be stingy.
As they all wandered the trailer park, searching for a glimpse of
orange fur, Caspian filled them in on everything that had happened on his
last evening before the swap, including the panic attack outside the gym and
Dingo constantly licking his hands while Madge fed him ‘shine. Gunner’s

mind lagged at the brief mention of what caused Caspian’s distress in the
first place, but then shame scratched his back bloody when he realized
Noah would now find out about the horrible things he’d done to Caspian.
His younger brother didn’t comment and just listened to the brief
description of what happened in the locker room, but Gunner still cringed in
silence.
Caspian spoke in a small voice, looking ahead as if he didn’t want to
meet anyone’s eyes. “I don’t remember if I said it, but I definitely thought a
lot about wanting to have your body. That no one would hurt me like that if
I was your size.”
Gunner still didn’t see affection between men as something normal in
public, but despite Noah’s presence, he slid his fingers between Caspian’s,
because that cat was out of the bag. “I could never make up for any of it.
I’m sorry.”
Caspian squeezed his hand, and as they faced the bushes on the edge
of the trailer park, his warm fingers felt like the only thing anchoring
Gunner to a world where he could become a better person.
“The longer I live in your skin, the more I grasp what you’ve been
through,” Caspian whispered.
Gunner bit his lips and nodded quickly, but he didn’t want Caspian to
understand. Born with a chip on his shoulder, he’d often thought that people
like Caspian should try walking a mile in his shoes and fail at survival. But
no one deserved a hard life just because the world as a whole wasn’t fair.
Caspian was a good person, genuine, caring, patient, and Gunner wanted
him to have the best life. Loving parents, a good job, and better self-esteem,
now that he’d seen his body from a new perspective. He deserved a
boyfriend who wasn’t a deadbeat loser.

Noah took a deep breath and moved his flashlight in a hurry. “Look.
There he is.”
The white beam snuck under a nearby trailer and reflected off a pair
of eyes, turning them yellow, but the dog stayed quiet, as if it were still in
shock after running for his life and having to leave his mistress behind.
Gunner kneeled and stuck his head under the floor of the home, reaching
toward Dingo as his heart beat in desperation. He needed to guide Caspian
back where he belonged, even if it left him with nothing.
“Come here, boy. Don’t be scared!”
Dingo made a quiet yelp and rested his orange head on his front paws,
but when Gunner kept cooing, the dog started a slow, laborious crawl
toward them.
Once Dingo was out, he whimpered and sat next to Gunner, licking
his hands and face the moment Gunner settled his arms around the furry
neck.
“I know, poor thing, I know. You’ll be okay, boy.” He looked up at
Noah and Caspian, gently trying to pat the dog clean of the sand and dust
he’d just dragged himself through. “Let’s try it. Drink some moonshine, let
him lick you, and make the wish.”
Noah’s eyes glinted in the first rays of sunlight. “Right. I can make a
wish too. I want to win the lottery.”
Gunner rolled his eyes. “Sure. Knock yourself out.”
Caspian stalled, staring at the dog as if reality hadn’t yet convinced
him that going back to their own bodies was the only way forward. Their
adventure had been fun while it lasted, but Caspian deserved more than
Gunner’s wretched existence.
And yes, he’d learned the word wretched thanks to Caspian.

“It probably won’t work anyway,” Caspian muttered but patted his
thigh and whistled, prompting Dingo to follow him toward a set of benches
made of concrete blocks and wood, where Gunner himself used to often sit
around with his so-called friends, but the Brown brothers were likely away
in order to secure an alibi, so Gunner didn’t expect to see them around
anytime soon.
“Still worth a shot,” he said and took a few gulps of the incredibly
potent alcohol before turning to see his brother with the other jar. “Noah!
Don’t drink it! Your mom will say it’s my fault if you start puking.” He
frowned and was ready to wrestle for the ‘shine, but Caspian was the one to
take the container out of Noah’s hand.
“You’re seventeen. If you must drink, stick to beer.”
Noah sucked in air, going red in the faint light of the upcoming
morning, but he had the good sense not to argue.
Gunner met Caspian’s gaze and imagined a future where it worked
out between the two of them. Sleeping in the same bed. Going on picnics
and to the movies. Like a normal couple. But no matter how much his heart
yearned for it, he knew it was a pipe dream, so he let the liquor burn his
throat again and rubbed his palm against the side of Dingo’s muzzle. The
dog hummed, responding to the touch by rolling his hot, damp tongue along
Gunner’s palm and down his wrist. And as Gunner closed his eyes, feeling
the sticky trail cool, he wished with all his heart for Caspian to get his body
back.
Because he was good.
Because he had a future that would be wasted on Gunner.
And because he deserved all the best things.
Caspian took two sips of the moonshine, and his handsome face
twisted as he passed the jar back to Gunner. “Here goes nothing.”

“Make sure to make the wish as he licks you,” Gunner said even
though warmth was already rushing through his head. Maybe he should
have stuck to that first sip. His heart beat fast, as if fate was playing
staccato in his chest while he watched Dingo turn his muzzle to sniff
Caspian.
If this ridiculous plan worked, would they change right away, or wake
up in the correct bodies in the morning, like last time? Technically, it was
morning already, so would it only happen after they fell asleep?
Caspian’s throat bobbed, but he extended his hand to Dingo. The dog
licked his wrist in a couple of long laps, as if he were sampling the essence
of who Caspian was.
“And… what now?” Noah asked in the dull silence that followed.
Caspian shrugged and put his hand on Gunner’s shoulders. “We
should go to sleep.”
Gunner’s throat felt tight, and the gentle touch on his shoulder only
made it worse. “Where?”
Noah petted his head as if Gunner were his younger brother, not the
other way around. “You can stay with me and my mom for a bit. She’ll
understand.”
Caspian’s fingers tightened on Gunner’s flesh. His dark, attentive eyes
focused on Gunner’s face, and while he looked relaxed, shadows made the
hyena tattoo seem sunken, as if the skeletal face was about to burst into
tears. “I want us to stay together tonight.”
Gunner was so afraid he’d fall apart that he closed his eyes and didn’t
utter a word.
Noah exhaled. “Right. ‘Cause it’s you my mom would expect
anyway. You can both stay. She’s got an early shift.”

Caspian’s chest sank, and he rose, pulling Gunner with him. “Thank
you. For helping us out with this and… everything.”
“Are you joking? He’s my brother. He was there for me when I
needed him, and I’ll always be there for him too,” Noah said and squeezed
Gunner’s arm before spinning around, as if he were afraid his face might
betray too much emotion. Oh, how Gunner understood him. Living in
Caspian’s body gave him an excuse to express himself more, but he’d
grown to enjoy it, and the perspective of going back to his real existence
weighed heavily on his shoulders. But Caspian was still there for him, even
if he’d be gone from Gunner’s miserable life soon enough.
If this worked.
He was disgusted at a part of him that wished it would not.
Noah’s home was a short drive away. They tried to stay quiet while
parking in front of the pale single-storey house located in a quiet street
close to the woods, but as they approached the door, it swung open, and
Noah’s mom, Zahra, stepped out in the black clothes she wore when
working in a cafe at the mall, and a large handbag slung over the shoulder.
Black box braids slipped across her shoulder when she moved her head,
wary of the shadows standing in front of her home so early in the morning.
But when she realized who they were, her body language relaxed.
Still, she raised her voice at Noah. “Why aren’t you in your bed? Did
you go out while I was sleeping?” She tugged on Noah’s shirt, pulling him
to the door. “We will talk about this once I’m back.”
“It’s my fault—” Caspian tried, but she glared back at him with a
deep frown that pinched her round face.
“I bet it is.” She wouldn’t have been so stern if she knew about the
fire, but there was no point in letting her know what happened when she
was on her way to work. She stared at them before clicking her tongue in

exasperation. “Food’s in the fridge. Just don’t eat from the red containers.
That’s for dinner,” she said and rushed off to her car.
She didn’t have the time to assess who Gunner was, but maybe he
looked harmless enough to leave with her son and his half-brother.
Gunner would miss not being constantly perceived as a threat.
“Thank you,” Caspian called out and waved at her, but she was gone
two seconds later.
Since it was still quite dark, Noah switched on the light inside and
invited them in with a broad gesture.
The house was small and modest, but it was always clean and smelled
of Zahra’s favorite spring-scented air freshener. The pale green walls of the
living room were decorated with family photos and two framed posters
depicting the Italian Riviera hung over a brown sofa with large potted plants
on either side. The rest of the house remained dark, but Noah stepped
through the nearest door, into the kitchen.
“I’m off to sleep. Do you want anything?”
“No, thanks, we’re good,” Gunner said, approaching the sofa. He’d
stayed here enough times to know how to unfold it into a bed. “Where’s
Fluffer?”
Noah snorted. “On the counter by the microwave. He decided to fall
asleep in the fruit basket.”
Gunner exhaled, fighting off the instinct to run to his pet. This might
as well be his last night in this body, and he wanted to spend it with
Caspian.
Noah whistled at the dog, but Dingo stalled and stared at Gunner and
Caspian with the eyes of a sage, who’d seen it all. Gunner froze, but Noah
didn’t seem to notice anything amiss and showed Dingo a piece of ham.

The sage transformed into a pet, immediately losing interest in
Gunner and Caspian.
“Goodnight,” Noah said before slamming the door of his room shut as
soon as the dog ran inside.
Silence dawned on the living room, and Gunner rubbed his shoulders,
suddenly cold.
“That was… an eventful day,” Caspian muttered, gravitating closer
with both hands down his pockets.
Gunner returned to setting up the bed. They’d touched and kissed
since their argument, but he still wasn’t sure where they stood or whether
that mattered, if the dog saliva was to swap them back. “Too eventful, if
you ask me.”
He’d wrecked a fancy party, broken Alex’s nose, got a tattoo and two
piercings, argued with Caspian, got outed, outed Caspian, almost died
because of a stupid Snickers bar, and was now about to sleep at Zahra’s
because his trailer had burned down.
Fucking mayhem.
At least he would have a sofa to sleep on until he managed to get a
place of his own. Many people in his position couldn’t count even on that.
The pregnant silence weighed on Gunner’s shoulders, but he said
nothing despite Caspian’s eyes burning his back as he spread the bed sheet
over the unfolded sofa.
“Can we… I mean, how big is the shower?” Caspian asked.
Gunner licked his lips, frustrated by the awkwardness between them
when this could be their last morning together. He took a deep breath and
turned around to face Caspian when he finished setting up the bed.
“Big enough for two.”

The frown pinching Caspian’s forehead relaxed. He placed his hands
on Gunner’s hips and pulled him in, as if this might not be the end of their
dream.
“I’ll give you a sponge bath,” he said and flicked his finger against
Gunner’s swollen nipple.
Gunner chuckled, relaxing. “Dumbass. They’re sensitive, okay?”
“How sensitive exactly?” Caspian leaned in, taking hold of the
piercing and applying the smallest amount of pressure to the sore flesh.
“Very. Now come on.” Gunner pulled on Caspian’s hand, leading him
toward the bathroom. “Will you keep them? If… you know, if we swap
back?”
Caspian remained silent until they entered the dark room, which still
smelled of the shower Zahra had taken before driving off to work. The
bathroom had been designed without a shower stall, and instead had a floor
that gently sloped toward the drain in the corner.
“Do you think we will actually turn? Because a dog licked us? I’ve
gotten used to the fact that this fantastical thing happened to us, but still…
wouldn’t that be simply… too easy of a solution?” he asked and switched
on the light.
Gunner shrugged as he peeled off his T-shirt. “We’re kinda low on
ideas, so magical dog it is. Who knows, maybe Noah will win the lottery
too. Or did Madge’s moonshine cause all this? We’ll never know,” he
finished in a whisper.
Caspian hummed, and pulled off his top. “It just feels like déjà vu.
Remember that first evening, when you convinced me we’d just wake up in
our own bodies?”
Gunner didn’t look his way as he undressed, flinching when the
mirror showed him the tattoo he’d put on Caspian’s body. Why was he such

an impulsive shit? “I know, but we can only do trial and error.”
Caspian shrugged, taking off his pants and socks next. “We can’t tell
my parents. They won’t believe a word of it. So… yeah.” He gave Gunner a
tight smile and stretched, already naked.
Gunner hugged himself when his heart throbbed as if someone
punched it. “I know I messed up for you today, but… can we be close one
more time? In case we do swap back…”
Caspian shook his head and placed his hand on Gunner’s cheek, with
the rough thumb swiping along his lips, as if he were trying to memorize
their texture. “Stop it with the apologizing. Very few things can’t be
undone,” he said and moved toward the showerhead attached high on the
wall in the other corner of the wet room. Gunner didn’t know when he
followed, as if the gentle hand was a leash.
How could Caspian be so calm? He’d be losing his beloved car,
dealing with his parents’ anger, and an unwanted tattoo all because of
Gunner’s thoughtless decisions, yet he was so understanding. As if Gunner
deserved the second, third, and even fourth chance. It was so beyond
Gunner’s experience he could’ve cried. Nobody had been this considerate
before. He was so used to fighting that he’d sometimes lash out just in case,
before the other person could land the first blow.
Caspian was different. Kind. Loving. Compassionate. And a demon in
bed.
Gunner took one more step and hugged him tightly, because he didn’t
know how to explain his emotions in words.
Caspian laughed. “I’m gonna miss this.”
Words got stuck in Gunner’s throat and tears stung his eyes, but then
Caspian switched on the water, and the murmur of the shower replaced the

uncomfortable silence. He would miss this too. How could anyone ever
compare to this guy who’d so quickly become his everything?
The water falling into his eyes gave Gunner an excuse to close them
as he ran his hands up Caspian’s chest, over the hard muscles and up the
pecs.
“Stand back. We don’t want your chest getting wet,” Caspian decided
and gently moved Gunner into the corner, away from the flowing water. But
before Gunner could have answered, Caspian took two steps back and
walked under the rain of droplets, which rolled down his muscular form in
fat rivulets. He grabbed shower gel from a shelf right next to him and
swiftly lathered up his chest, face, arms, as if he were in a hurry to get it
done.
His body emanated strength, and while he used to resent the way it
obscured the real him with bulging muscle and bold tattoos, Caspian had
shown him that the strength it carried didn’t have to be brutish. That was
something he ought to remember for the future when he was back in the
cage of his own flesh and bones. He’d let it stifle the real him in the past,
but if Caspian could be both steady and wicked, maybe so could he? Maybe
he too could use his strength to protect rather than lash out at whatever life
threw his way.
Maybe with the ties to his toxic friends cut, and with the new outlook
living in Caspian’s shoes had given him, something could really change in
his own? Maybe this short time would leave him with more than just the
loveliest memories?
He stopped breathing when Caspian washed his cock and balls, and
then rubbed his thighs in energetic swipes, but everything about those
moves was utilitarian, and moments later, Caspian stepped out from under
the water. The mirror had already fogged up, and moisture hung in the air,

making it hot and dense. He picked up a bright orange shower gel with fruit
and spices depicted on the package.
“Put both your hands on your nape.”
That got Gunner’s attention. He looked up into Caspian’s eyes and
followed the order without thinking, because letting him take charge left
Gunner’s shoulders light and his heart soaring. He trusted Caspian to make
the right decisions when he was so prone to failing.
Caspian brushed back Gunner’s damp hair and poured a generous
portion of the gel into his palm before rubbing it between his hands. His
dark gaze pinned Gunner to the wall before trailing lower. “That design.
Did you want to make sure I never forget you?” he asked before tickling
Gunner’s exposed armpits.
Gunner laughed, but kept his hands in place, staring into the brown
eyes watching him from the shadow of damp eyelashes. “You can get it
covered with something else,” he whispered even though he wished for
Caspian to keep his name forever etched into skin, like Caspian’s was into
his heart.
His life would never be the same. And not just because he’d
experienced living in someone else’s shoes. Caspian showed him that real
kindness and forgiveness existed. While his past set him up for failure, there
were always people he could turn to for help.
“I have to think about it,” Caspian said, rubbing the soap into
Gunner’s skin. His touch moved ever lower, past his belly button, and when
he grabbed Gunner’s cock and went down to his knees, staying still was no
longer possible.
Gunner held his breath, closed his eyes, and focused on the slick
fingers rolling his balls and prick with a gentleness that had him getting to
his toes. A fire started at the base of his spine and then crawled all over,

climbing his ribs and wrapping around his throat. But its hot tentacles
dashed down his thighs too, and his cock stiffened.
“There I am, just helping you clean, and you’re getting frisky. Such a
dirty boy,” Caspian whispered, staring up at Gunner while the pink dick
rose, pointing at his handsome face. The big hands were in constant motion,
drawing patterns all over Gunner’s thighs, but it was when they settled on
Gunner’s ass that all and any thoughts in his head turned into vapor and
leaked out into the steamy air around them.
Cooking on the inside, he looked at Caspian, already trembling, the
reality outside the wet room forgotten. “I can’t help myself,” he rasped,
confused whether he was more desperate for closeness or Caspian’s mouth
on his dick. But he didn’t have to choose, because this moment wasn’t just
about pleasure. It was safe for him to let go. To be himself and play.
Caspian’s lips stretched and as shadows danced over the lines tattooed
on his face, it seemed as though his mouth became one with the hyena
skull’s sharp teeth. A jolt of arousal squeezed Gunner’s balls when he
thought about his lover’s predatory instincts, but he was left to mewl as
both of Caspian’s hands moved, with fingers sliding into Gunner’s crack
and spreading the soap over sensitive skin.
“I bet. My pretty little slut.”
He stirred against the fingers with a moan. “It’s all your doing. I
wasn’t like this before.” Oh, but he was. Deep inside, he’d always craved
this.
Caspian grinned and blew air on Gunner’s slick cock as he rubbed his
fingertips over his hole, probing and teasing. It only lasted a moment, but
by the time one finger dipped into the ring of muscle ever-so slightly,
Gunner was ready to beg. He wanted to be on his hands and knees, taking
Caspian’s firm cock as many times as Caspian could get it up.

But instead of pushing the digit in farther, Caspian stepped back,
leaving Gunner with an aching hard on. “Time to get all that lather off you,”
he said and pulled the showerhead off its attachment on the wall. “Turn
around.”
Gunner glanced at his needy dick, then to Caspian’s growing erection.
“You don’t wanna—”
“Turn around.”
Gunner bit his lip and did as told, unsure if the steam in the room
came from the heat, or straight off his skin, because the fire coursing
through his body became ever more scorching, and the droplets cascading
down Gunner’s back felt lukewarm in comparison. The gentle stream
tickled his skin, and the fact that it was water, not hands that touched him
now, stretched each second into an endless wait. But Caspian was the one in
control, so Gunner bit his lip and waited while rivulets drizzled down his
prick and thighs, and then snuck their way between his buttocks when
Caspian opened them with one hand.
Overwhelmed by the gentle teasing, Gunner leaned forward and
rested his forehead against the wall, but when the flow of water stopped,
there was no certainty about what would happen next, so he stilled,
breathless as all kinds of scenes played out in his mind.
Would Caspian drag him to the living room and fuck him under the
covers? Would he do it here, rolling Gunner onto the wet floor? Would he—
His thoughts went awry when stubble scratched his buttock, and then
Caspian’s face rolled over it until his large nose dipped into the newlywashed crack.
“Oh my God…” he whimpered against the wet tiles, and arched his
back as his mind blanked. In the time they’d been given so far, they’d never
done that. He hadn’t even dared to imagine that Caspian would—

He didn’t have the brain power to control himself when the slick
tongue teased his hole and he took his hands off his nape, to helplessly slide
his palms over the tiles over and over.
Caspian was so hungry for him, and all Gunner wanted was to lie
down on a silver platter and await consumption. When hot breath tickled
Gunner’s skin, every hair on his body bristled to attention.
Caspian exhaled, pulling Gunner’s buttocks apart. He stopped
moving, and the reason for it made goosebumps erupt all over Gunner’s
flesh. Caspian was staring at his butthole. Just watching it, while he stood
with his legs parted, so very eager to give his man anything he might want.
His insides felt so ready to stretch and accommodate Caspian’s dick, but as
embarrassing as this moment was, Gunner longed for more. To experience
everything before unknown magic took this away from them.
Caspian started slow, as if Gunner wasn’t eager enough already, but
by the time he replaced his fingers with lips and tongue, Gunner’s cock was
so very hard he wished for something less gentle.
No such luck, because his lover seemed intent on taunting him until
Gunner begged.
“Please…” Gunner uttered, with his cheek flat against the tiles.
“Please what?” Caspian teased and blew hot air at the damp skin of
Gunner’s crack.
That was it. There were limits to Gunner’s patience, and right now, all
he could think of was Caspian’s thick rod spearing his hungry hole. He
turned around, and just as Caspian opened his mouth in protest, Gunner
pushed on his shoulders, forcing him to the floor. Technically, he didn’t
have enough strength to force Caspian to do anything, but the moment of
surprise was enough to go through with his evil scheme.

As soon as Caspian’s ass hit the tiles, Gunner straddled his hips and
wrapped his arms around his thick neck, planting a kiss on his lips.
The broad mouth widened in a smile, and Caspian slapped his damp
hands on Gunner’s ass, making him arch at the flash of pain. “What is it,
needy, greedy boy? You want my cock in your fuckhole this much? It’s not
like you’d die without it,” he whispered and reached to the side, grabbing a
bottle of baby oil Zahra probably used for her skin.
Gunner bit his lips, fighting the pinch of sadness that tainted his
thoughts. He rocked against Caspian’s slick fingers when they slipped
against his ass. “I would,” he choked out. “I’d die.”
Caspian’s smile froze, but he didn’t pull away or chastise Gunner for
reminding him of their situation.
“Come here, baby,” he whispered instead, pulling Gunner’s head to
rest on his shoulder while he pushed one slickened finger up his hole,
without any more preamble. They were both desperate for closeness, and
Gunner hung his weight on Caspian’s neck, then moved his legs around him
and locked them behind his back.
“It’ll be okay. I promise,” Caspian said next and kissed his way up
Gunner’s throat as the digit went inside him up to the knuckle, spreading
the oil.
Gunner nodded, too choked up to speak, and overwhelmed by the
need to stay connected. He ran his fingertips over Caspian’s nape, trying to
remember every single hair, every inch of skin, because this body he knew
so well was different when Caspian lived inside it. Gunner’s perspective got
turned on its head, and it didn’t feel strange at all to make love to someone
who wore his flesh. It was him, and it also wasn’t.
None of it mattered when they moved as one.

Caspian pushed the bottle of oil away and must have been spreading
the lubricant over his cock, because moments later, the tip pushed Gunner’s
buttocks apart and nudged his hole.
“Ready?” Caspian whispered, nipping on Gunner’s lips, but he didn’t
wait for an answer and tightened his arm, holding Gunner steady as the
pressure rose, until his body relaxed and let in the cockhead.
“Oh, yes…” might have slipped out of Gunner’s lips when the hard
dick made its way in, opening him up.
Nothing could compare to this closeness. The damp air smelled of
orange and their arousal, and Gunner wished to explore every inch of
Caspian’s wet skin as Caspian’s breath became more ragged. They moved
in sync without having to discuss their needs, even though this gentle, more
equal act wasn’t the kind of sex they usually had.
Since Caspian sat with his legs stretched out and Gunner in his lap,
impaled on the hard cock, the position wasn’t made for vigorous thrusting,
but now that the void inside him had been filled, Gunner felt much calmer
and could think straight. He held on to Caspian with all his limbs while they
moved, slowly rolling their bodies. The hard prick shifted within Gunner’s
body, fueling the lust burning inside him, but its flames didn’t grow,
keeping them both in that pleasant state of anticipation.
Caspian kept stroking Gunner’s back, his arms, buttocks, he even
rubbed the flesh stretching around his dick, but they were in a trance,
grinding endlessly while their mouths played, passing warm air and sweet
saliva until the continuous sensation teasing Gunner’s prostate became too
much, and his dick started twitching for attention.
He had no idea how long they lasted in the comfort of their sexual yet
weirdly tender embrace, but once Caspian curled his hand around Gunner’s
dick, everything sped up. It only took several strokes for Gunner to

whimper and clutch at Caspian’s thick forearms as he came, clenching his
ass over the stiff, hot prick inside him.
He writhed against Caspian, on the verge of crying, but Caspian was
there to soothe him with sweet kisses and whispered words Gunner didn’t
hear through the blood thudding in his ears.
I love you. I love you, his whole being yelled, but he bit his lips, not
daring to voice truths that would make their situation even more difficult.
He was hot, throbbing flesh, and bones made of liquid fire when
Caspian repeatedly jammed his dick into him, shivering as he held on to
Gunners hips. The thrusts were hard. And rough. And a wonderful contrast
to the tender loving from before. By the time Caspian came, fatigue had
already taken over and left them both in a mess of gasps and twitching
muscle.
Caspian’s cum was hot inside Gunner, and when his dick finally
shrank, retreating from the tender hole, a strand of spunk rolled out, leaving
a scorching trail down Gunner’s balls.
Gunner closed his eyes, a boneless puppet still shivering from the
intensity of the fuck, yet so safe against Caspian’s wide chest. “How long
can a person go without sleep?” he mumbled, already knowing they’d need
one more quick shower before rolling into bed.
Caspian chuckled against him, and his stubble scratched Gunner’s
cheek as they kissed. “I’ll take care of everything. Don’t worry.”
What Gunner tried to say was that falling asleep could end his time as
the cute twink. That maybe if he prolonged this body swap for one more
day… drank lots of coffee, had a Red Bull—But he was barely awake already, and the intense lovemaking had
drained his energy even further, so he let destiny take its course.

Chapter 28 – Caspian
Caspian knew it had happened the moment he awoke.
His limbs felt light, and the presence behind his back—hot and
massive, like a living shield. But he didn’t want to face the reality of it just
yet. So he kept his eyes closed and listened to soft footsteps followed by a
muted whirring reminiscent of a kitchen mixer.
He should’ve been happy his life was about to go back on its usual
rails. That he’d get to sleep in a comfortable home and once again talk to
his parents. He’d even get to make sure they were proud of him and unfuck
every single thing Gunner messed up.
But deep down, he wished to go back to sleep and wake up again,
curled around the slender presence of Gunner’s body instead of inside it,
because while this body might truly belong to him, at the moment it felt
stolen. But there was only so long he could pretend to still be asleep.
Even tucked between the wall and Gunner’s form, he couldn’t ignore
the bright light shining into his face any longer. So he ripped off that BandAid and sat up.
Gunner groaned and rolled over to his back, but while his eyes
remained closed, he was waking up too. A frown pinched his face when he
stretched and ended up hitting the wall with his knuckles. His stern,

masculine features were the same ones Caspian had looked at in the mirror
for the past two weeks, and seeing them on someone else couldn’t have felt
odder.
Gunner opened one eye and stilled for half a second, but then sat up
as well, patting his body as if he couldn’t believe it was there.
“It worked.” he stated the obvious.
He was so big, his face so masculine with strong, rigid features, and
the tattoo covering half of it in a scary lineart, but despite being back in this
body, Gunner no longer resembled a predator. His expression was soft, and
the way he touched his massive pecs with wonder took Caspian right back
to last night and the way Gunner had clung to him, asking to be close.
“It did,” Caspian agreed, swallowing the rock forming in his throat.
Gunner wouldn’t meet his eyes as he nervously scratched his nape.
“Hm. So… this is weird, right?”
The old Caspian, the one from before the swap, would have never
leaned in and touched Gunner’s face for comfort, but the gesture had been
so ingrained in him for the past few weeks, he’d done it without thinking.
Gunner glanced at him, and while they were dark brown rather than
the blue he’d gotten used to, their gaze was familiar. Caspian froze and
pulled back his hand, suddenly self-conscious. One look at his own chest
reminded him why it was throbbing. Gunner’s name was still etched into
his reddened skin in bold black letters, and the metal balls squeezed his
nipples like tiny torture devices. But while those additions made his
appearance edgier, he no longer was the man Gunner wanted.
He was embarrassing himself by trying to comfort Gunner in a way
that had felt so natural only yesterday. If he was to survive this day, his
focus should be on keeping his shit together.

It was strange to sit next to this Gunner without it triggering a fight or
flight response, but when Caspian took in his broad form now, all he could
see was the man who’d craved his support and apologized for fucking up.
The man who’d barely had a handle on his life, confused, in the closet, and
constantly getting in trouble.
Gunner licked his lips, moving to the edge of the bed. At least both of
them were wearing underwear, since this sofa bed wasn’t a private space.
“Do you need help removing those?” he muttered and pointed to Caspian’s
nipple.
Caspian cleared his throat. He wanted to say something funny and
turn it all into a joke, but voice got stuck in his throat, and he shook his
head instead, faking a smile. “Nah. I kind of dig this look. And it’s not like
clients are gonna see it under my ironed T-shirts, right?” he asked and
joined Gunner on the edge of the bed, painfully aware of how much they
differed in terms of size.
And the strangest thing was that when he looked at his slim legs
dusted with just a bit of hair next to Gunner’s tree trunk-like thighs, he no
longer felt self-conscious. Yes, he was smaller. Yes, he’d never grow into
the kind of hulking man Gunner was, but after seeing his own form as an
outsider, he realized that there wasn’t anything wrong with it. It was as if a
deforming film had been peeled off his eyes, allowing him to see who he
was.
He wasn’t ugly, and never had been.
“Yeah? You gonna be that secret threat at the office? Undercover
motherfucker.” Gunner snorted as he got up, and towered over Caspian.
“Yeah, I think—I think things will change for me,” Caspian said. His
confused instincts told him to step closer and put his arms around Gunner’s
midsection. He no longer saw himself as unattractive, but Gunner wasn’t

into small guys. He wanted to be one himself, and regardless of Caspian’s
secret desire, he didn’t want to make things between them any weirder.
So he stayed where he was and tried to focus on Gunner’s face rather
than his body.
“I’m sorry about the trailer. And your friends. I really messed up.”
Gunner looked around for his jeans, because Caspian had been the
one to take them off last night, but he’d found them before Caspian could
have pointed out where they were. Just like he’d have to manage everything
else without Caspian from now on.
“I guess they never were my friends in the first place. I’m really sorry
about the tattoo. I wanted to retaliate, but it’s permanent, and I wasn’t
thinking straight.”
Caspian shrugged. “It’s fine. It’s just a tattoo. At least I’ll have
something to remember this crazy time by, right?” he asked with a small
chuckle that left a scratch in his throat.
Don’t fall apart. Don’t fall apart. Don’t fall apart.
“And you’ll look like a badass at the boxing lessons. You’ll still come
by, right?” Gunner asked, and despite standing there, six-foot-five and so
broad in the shoulders, Caspian could now see the vulnerability in his
brown eyes. Gunner might have changed on the outside, but he was still shy
in romantic matters, had few friends, liked fruity shampoo and classical
music. Still, his exterior inevitably affected how people perceived him, and
his sensitive side was in direct opposition to his appearance.
Gunner needed help reinventing himself, and Caspian would be there
for him, no matter how awkward spending time together might prove.
“Yes. And I’ll pay you for your time, of course. Do you—” He
remembered last night’s fire, and his heart tightened a bit when Gunner
approached the windowsill and picked up Fluffer, who must have walked

over there as they slept. The cat let out a little meow and rubbed his
forehead against Gunner’s when he leaned in toward it.
Caspian’s heart tightened with longing, wishing Gunner would do the
same with him, but it wasn’t his place to make such demands anymore.
“I mean—do you have a place to stay? I know this is your family, but
it’s because of me that you lost your home.”
“You did what you did, but it’s not exactly your fault Todd’s a
pyromaniac psycho gay-hater.” Gunner sighed deeply and kissed Fluffer on
the forehead as the cat stretched, resting its paws on Gunner’s shoulder.
“Noah’s mom will let me stay here for a bit, I’m sure. And then I’ll sort
something out. It’s not like I’ll need privacy to bring anyone over for a
while.”
The thought of Gunner going off to find a new lover hit Caspian like a
red-hot poker in the eye. He had no right to feel jealous, because they
weren’t together, and the lust they’d shared had been caused by the crazy
change in their bodies. But when he thought of some stranger climbing on
top of Gunner—touching him, kissing him, clutching at the short hair at the
top of his head—his brain went up in flames so scorching he could no
longer think straight.
He didn’t want to think about it.
And in fact, it was time for him to go.
Paws tapped against the floor, and Dingo came in, watching them
with brown eyes that didn’t look more intelligent than any other dog’s. And
yet, he’d been the one to fulfill their wishes, like a fucked-up version of a
genie, one without a bottle and with way more fur.
Caspian needed to get out of here before he went crazy.
Gunner watched him intently, but remained physically distant, as if
the air between them was too dense for walking through. “And um… Can I

do anything for you? Like… go tell your parents it was somehow my fault?
That I gave you drugs or something? You can throw me under the bus, I
don’t mind.”
It hurt Caspian to even think about it, and he shook his head. “No. I
want to stay in touch,” he said softly and pushed his feet into the lavenderhued trainers Gunner had gotten during that first shopping trip with
Alexander.
He might not feel like the cute, twinky style Gunner had adapted
during his brief time in Caspian’s body was him but had to admit that the
new clothes Gunner purchased fit him much better than the plain, baggy
stuff that still filled his wardrobe. It might take a while, but Caspian would
eventually find himself somewhere between the somber style he used to
prefer and the youthful, colorful clothes Gunner favored.
Noah’s head popped out of the kitchen, and he walked into the living
room with a large smoothie in hand when he saw neither of them was
naked. “So it worked.”
Gunner smiled. “It did. Have you won the lottery yet?”
Noah’s face soured. “No, still poor. Are you staying for lunch?” he
asked Caspian. “Wow, this is so weird. I keep seeing you as Gunner.”
Caspian did want to stay, but when Gunner looked at him in a way
that felt all-too-familiar, he knew he might not keep himself together unless
he ran. So he shook his head and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Thanks, but I need to talk to my mom and dad. I have your number, Gun.”
Gunner finally met his eyes. “I’ll make sure to delete your browser
history.” He winked, but Caspian could sense the awkwardness for miles, so
with stiff knees and shoulders, he went straight for the door.

---

“So it was meds? All of it?” Dad asked, staring at Caspian with brows
lowered to shadow his eyes. It was a peaceful Sunday, and while Caspian
knew he’d have to personally apologize to all the guests who’d seen
Gunner’s outburst at yesterday’s party, his parents seemed to have brought
the situation under control. He couldn’t feel sorry for something he hadn’t
done, but the sense of shame was still there.
“I’m sorry. I forgot I’d already taken one tablet, took another one, and
it made me so agitated. And when Alex—I wanted to eventually tell you.
But not like that, in front of everyone, and I just snapped.”
Mom sipped coffee from her favorite mug. “Oh. So that part was
true?” she asked, and her inquisitive gaze bore into him with the force of a
drill. “Wait. Is this related to that man who’d brought you home drunk? Tell
us, Caspian. Was it meds or drugs?”
Caspian’s shoulders dropped as he breathed in the fresh air seeping
into the bright, elegant living room through a window larger than the
shower stall in Gunner’s burned-down trailer. Life really wasn’t fair.
“It’s meds. I got nervous about all those changes, and that’s why—”
He exhaled and looked at them again, because he didn’t want to remove
Gunner out of his life. In one way or another, he’d always be someone
important. And while Caspian could never have Gunner the way he wanted,
he needed to make sure his friend was welcome here. “He had nothing to do
with this. Gunner’s a really good guy, deep down.”
Dad frowned, and Caspian cringed at him, connecting the dots in his
head. “That man, Gunner. Did he seduce you into this? We all experiment
when we’re young. It’s okay—”
Caspian stood up. “No.”
In fact, it had been the other way around.

Sweat beaded on Caspian’s back, but it felt good to speak more
plainly about things that were so important. “No, I’ve had… partners at
university. Gunner and I… we reconnected when I got back. He might look
like a thug, because he’s been through a lot, but he’s trying really hard to
turn his life around.”
Mom raised her hand. “Okay, okay, no need to raise your voice. So…
Is he your boyfriend?”
Caspian swallowed the anger buzzing inside him when he
remembered how wary his parents had been when he’d brought Gunner
here some time ago. It still hurt. “You are so judgmental. You think you’re
not, but you are. So he has a tattooed face. And his dad was a criminal, and
he dropped out of high school, but he really cares for people. Just yesterday,
he took me to the ER after I had peanuts!”
It had been the other way around, but he was so confused about where
he started and where Gunner began at this point that it didn’t seem to
matter.
Dad got to his feet, eyes wide. “Why did you have peanuts? You
know you’re not supposed to have them! Caspian!”
“I was upset after the argument with Alex and ate a cake without
checking the label. But he was there, and he—took care of me,” Caspian
muttered, dropping back into the armchair, weighed down by his parents’
scrutiny.
Mom rubbed her forehead, flushed behind her mug. “Okay, so, is this
Gunner person a serious boyfriend?”
It was well-intentioned and softly-spoken, but the question still felt
like a punch in the gut. Caspian swallowed and shook his head, his heart
like a ball of lead dragging him to the bottom of a dark ocean. “We—we
split up.”

In that moment, he knew that he’d never get over his regret.
Tears filled his eyes all too quickly and spilled down his cheeks. He’d
fallen for Gunner so fast, so intensely, but their relationship had been built
on the foundation of snow that had now melted.
Mom reached him within half a second and pulled him into a hug.
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. We had no idea what was going on with you.”
Sinking into her arms was relief, but the embrace couldn’t soothe the
pain of knowing that he’d never get to hold Gunner again. Maybe his heart
would cover the thorn there with hardened tissue, but it would always
remain there, stuck with him for the rest of his life.

Chapter 29 – Gunner
This was worse than detox. Gunner had no idea he’d become addicted
to Caspian’s presence, but a week later, he was starved for his touch,
craving Caspian’s attention, and an overall mess of a human being. It didn’t
help that he’d been uprooted from his home, and his so-called friends had
all turned their backs on him. A few acquaintances still talked to him at the
gym, but Gunner was well aware that his life would be very different from
now on.
He wasn’t about to roll over and show his soft underbelly to just
anyone, but he didn’t want to be the old Gunner either, and planned to make
amends for the shitty things he’d done in the past.
If he was to clean up his act, the first step was to bite the bullet and
have a serious chat with Snowman. Whether he liked it or not, the unsavory
business he was now attempting to escape had funded the debt payments, so
there had to be a way to go around it. He felt like a fool even hoping for
such miracles, because no one cared about his personal problems when
money was involved, but there was no shame in asking.
He could only ignore reality for so long, so he promised Zahra he’d
pick up some cookies from the amateur baker who lived at the trailer park
and ventured out of her home, followed by Dingo.

Gunner was surprised Snowman hadn’t knocked on his door already,
but maybe the cokehead had enough decency left in him to give Gunner a
few days’ slack following the fire. He presumed the kindness wouldn’t
come cheap, but he didn’t want to look as though he was avoiding the issue.
With a cigarette in hand, Gunner leaned down to pet Dingo’s head
when the dog whined, staring toward his former home, as if he could still
smell his mistress. “I know, I know, Madge had you for many years— How
old are you anyway?” He frowned, wondering how this strange magic
worked. He and Caspian had swapped twice already, but Noah hadn’t been
granted the lottery win. Gunner had experimented with drinking Madge’s
alcohol in case that was the trigger, but he hadn’t gotten his wish either.
Dingo barked at him and dashed forward, greeted by the brilliant
laughter of two small boys playing in front of one of the trailers. A part of
Gunner worried the children might accidentally wish on something and get
stuck in a situation they couldn’t comprehend, but Madge had never
restrained her dog, so he left Dingo with the children and approached the
gray box-like building close to the gate.
Snowman’s office was at the back, but as he passed the windows of
the administrator’s quarters, one of them opened, and Phyllis’s bright
blonde head peeked out. “There you are! We need to talk about next
month’s rent!”
“Rent? My trailer’s burned down,” Gunner muttered, facing her with
a deep frown, but Phyllis didn’t miss a beat and raised a cigarette to her
wrinkled mouth.
“It’s still taking up space on my property. If you want to leave, you’ll
have to remove what’s left of your home and clear the slot.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me—”

Gunner let Mozart play in his mind, because he’d vowed to become a
better person, and violence wasn’t the way to achieve that. He needed to
control his impulsive behavior, because the last time he let himself go, his
attack on Alex had almost ruined Caspian’s life. And while Phyllis was
being heartless, it was her right to demand payment for the services she
provided, so he took a deep breath and, much calmer, met her gaze.
“I’ll work something out. Is Snowman in?”
“I’m not his mother,” she said and shut the window without saying
goodbye.
Typical.
Gunner rubbed his face, adjusted his T-shirt to make it tidier, and
walked around the building to find the office on the other side open.
Snowman looked up from behind his desk, as if some sixth sense told
him he had a visitor. “Gunner! Long time no see,” he said and pulled a
folder off a giant pile next to him.
“Hey, I came to let you know I wasn’t dodging you. It’s just that with
the fire, and the… general situation… you know how it is sometimes.” He
took a long drag of smoke, but the fire had reached the filter already. He
really needed to quit. The habit was bad not only for his health but also his
already-thin wallet.
Snowman stared at him and dropped the folder before swiping back
the wispy hair covering the flushed skin at the top of his head. “Why? You
missed me or something?”
Gunner put the cigarette out in Snowman’s overflowing ashtray and
stuffed his hands into his pockets, ignoring the stale scent of the half-eaten
burger resting on a plate by the edge of the desk. “My payment. I’ll get you
something next week, okay?”

Snowman’s eyes narrowed, red as if he badly needed to see a doctor
about pinkeye. “Are you fucking with me, Russo? You’ve been acting real
strange lately.”
“No, I’m serious. I’m out of work, but I should be able to get some
cash by the end of the week.” He spread his arms for emphasis, because his
patience was running thin.
Snowman leaned back and pulled at the front of his sweaty shirt,
peeling it from his skin. “Are you on crack again? You already sent a guy.
The debt’s been cleared.”
Gunner stared at him with the confusion of a drowning man who’d
just realized his feet touched ground. “What? Who?” He knew the answer
the moment his lips uttered the question.
Snowman exhaled and poured himself some coffee from a glass jug
with lots of ice cubes floating on the surface and chugged half of the mug in
one go. “This small guy. Short. With pink shoes.”
They were lavender. Not that such details mattered when Caspian had
taken the massive burden chaining Gunner to his circumstances off his
shoulders.
Just like that, without asking for anything in return. Just because he
could.
“S-so, we’re good?” Gunner asked, fighting the tremble in his voice.
Snowman sighed. “Don’t know what you did for that guy, but my lips
are sealed. If you ever need more cash, my boss will gladly lend to you,
since you’ve been so good about paying up this time.”
Wow, so his credit score with drug dealers was on the rise. All thanks
to Caspian.
Gunner left the building in stunned silence.

Two years—that was how long he’d been saddled with this burden.
He’d taken it on to help the only family he had left, but the interest was so
high he lost hope of ever paying the whole sum off.
He couldn’t believe he was free. So his plans for the future were
tentative at best, but he could actually breathe now, and reconsider his
options.
His mind whirled with a thousand thoughts. His first impulse was to
call Caspian and ask him about everything. From why he chose to pay off
the debt, to why he kept the cute sneakers, but if Caspian didn’t bother to
tell him about the money, maybe he didn’t want to keep in touch?
What if this was a way for Caspian to cut ties without feeling guilty
about it? The closeness they’d experienced during their unusual relationship
had been intense, but back in his own body, in his nice home, with his nice
parents, and nice job, Caspian likely wanted to distance himself from that
crazy period in his life. And from Gunner. Could it be that he no longer
cared? After all the things they did with each other?
Gunner’s face flushed with heat at the memory of Caspian holding
him by the ears as he face-fucked him.
But that had happened in a different life. A life within a dream that
was over and would never cloud their minds again.
Gunner was now free to start his life over. Get an honest job. Move
somewhere safer. Never have to see Todd’s fucking face.
But he didn’t know where to start. His life choices had always been
about responding to other people’s actions, and now, faced with the freedom
to forge whatever path suited him, he had no idea where to turn.
Caspian was so put-together in comparison. Thoughtful and smart, he
was a man Gunner had learned to admire in their short time together. But
while Gunner knew it would be best for them to stay apart, the Caspian-

sized hole in his heart was there to stay. It might eventually stop bleeding,
but the scars would forever be a reminder of the happiest time in Gunner’s
life.
Gunner once more itched to grab the cell phone and make the call. He
wasn’t too proud to take the money if Caspian had chosen to gift it to him,
but such kindness should be repaid with words of gratitude at least.
With a strong conviction to contact him later in the day, Gunner
whistled at Dingo and hurried back to Zahra’s, because he’d promised to
give Noah a ride to work. He could look at job offers at the mall. His ink
shouldn’t be an issue in a stockroom. And if there weren’t any vacancies, he
could ask Tiamat at the tattoo shop if they needed anyone for maintenance
and clean-up. Gunner would take any position at this point, as long as it
didn’t push him back into crime.
Perhaps the universe had caused the body swap to help Caspian
understand his worth, but Gunner learned a lot too, and he wasn’t about to
fuck things up again.
But what did he know of leading an honest life? He’d never had a
regular job, and his brief life in Caspian’s skin proved that he didn’t know
how to behave among normal people. He crossed unwritten boundaries
without realizing, and would surely get himself kicked out of any job he
might find. But what then? What if he met Caspian in town and revealed
himself as a failure?
Just the thought of it had him breaking out in cold sweat.
“The truck’s so much cleaner now,” Noah said from the passenger
seat, pulling Gunner out of his thought jumble just as they arrived at the
mall. “You think you’ll be able to keep that up?”
Gunner rolled his eyes. “Ha. Ha. So funny. I had more important shit
to do than clean.” Though in truth, his truck had ended up looking like a

hoarder’s dream because he’d been too lazy to clean or forgot to do it.
Caspian left the truck in better condition than it had been on the day Gunner
purchased it second-hand. He’d even managed to get the transmission to
run smooth-ish.
Was there anything this guy couldn’t do? Unlike Gunner, Caspian
planned things, and didn’t get so easily frustrated, so he must have found a
solution and applied it with the same ease he’d cleaned crumbs from
Gunner’s car seat. Caspian managed to take care of him even without being
there. The vehicle would eventually become messy again, and the pinescented air freshener would hang off the rearview mirror after losing its
smell, but the debt Caspian had paid off for Gunner had been dealt with for
good.
A parting gift.
Was it guilt that had prompted Caspian to deal with the debt, or did he
still have feelings for Gunner? Like that time he’d covered Gunner’s eyes,
so cum wouldn’t get into them. That had been so thoughtful.
“Gun, come on, we only have an hour before I start my shift, and I
wanna get a sandwich.”
“When I had his body, people didn’t stare at me, you know?” Gunner
said, sighing as he took a final glance into the rearview mirror. His left eye
glinted, as if it belonged to a hyena, but he shook his head and stepped out
of the truck, because some things couldn’t be overcome with Caspian’s
money, and he needed to face reality at some point.
Noah licked his lips and approached him. “Is that why you’ve been so
quiet on the way here? That’s what you’ve been thinking about?”
Gunner shrugged. “Yeah, everything’s different now. It’s hard to get
used to it.”

“I mean, the tattoo is a bit of a bummer, but they’re always looking
for staff here. Try the notice board by the photo booths?”
His baby brother stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked ahead
as a young woman went out of her way to avoid walking too close to
Gunner. It was easiest to pretend neither of them noticed, but shit like this
happened to Gunner all the time. It was hard to not take such things
personally after the brief time in a non-intimidating body.
“Let’s get your sandwich first, it’s on me.” Gunner forced a smile and
ruffled Noah’s curls.
He should’ve been happy. His heaviest burden, the thing that had kept
him in chains, was now gone. And yet he’d never felt so lost.
He’d lived in Caspian’s flesh for three weeks, but he was starting to
think there was no going back from that experience. It had showed him
there was more to life than survival and violence, but every gaze frightfully
sliding off him proved that most people wouldn’t give someone like him,
with a tattooed face and bulging muscles, the benefit of the doubt and a
chance to prove himself. He had no education, no skills other than boxing,
and was currently wearing his only surviving T-shirt.
Noah whistled and nudged Gunner with his elbow as they approached
one of the cafés. “Rolling in cash, huh?”
“It’s not funny. I… I actually just found out Caspian paid off my
debt.” It sounded so simple when said like that. As if this didn’t change
both his and Noah’s life for good.
Noah grabbed Gunner’s shoulder and stepped in front of him, brown
eyes wide. “No way! What the fuck? That’s insane!”
Gunner chuckled. “Guess I gave good head, huh?” The dirty joke
made him flush, because he was still getting accustomed to his brother

knowing about his sexuality. But, damn, it felt so good to be open about
this.
Noah wouldn’t stop laughing, his smile so wide and pristine. “So
what? You’re his sugar baby now?”
“It’s not like that. I told you we’re not… you know, we’re just not
anymore. It’s different now. I’m pretty sure he wants to move on with his
life.”
Noah frowned. “Come on, Gun! No one donates thousands of dollars
to get on with their life. Have you actually talked to him since… you
know?” he asked, pushing Gunner at a bench adjacent to a decorative
platform made up to look like a deserted island, complete with a fake palm
tree and sand.
“Not yet. He’s probably very busy with his new job and shit. He’s
like… really smart, and needs to unfuck everything I did.” Gunner pulled
on his thumb in frustration as his gaze drifted to the piano, where he’d first
met Alexander Fuckface. Was there a chance that his soul, or whatever had
travelled between him and Caspian, still remembered how to play? He’d
been too afraid to check so far, but the vacant bench by the instrument
tempted him even when he ignored its call and focused on Noah.
“Don’t say that! Gunner, are you blind? This guy likes you. And I
mean that he’s into you,” Noah said and dropped next to Gunner.
“He was into a tiny cutie with big blue eyes. So even if he still likes
me as a friend, he doesn’t—” Pain speared Gunner’s heart as if it had been
stabbed with an ice pick. “Fuck. Why are you making me talk about it?”
Noah rolled his eyes and grinned. “‘Cause I don’t have a love life?
Mom’s TV broke down, so how else am I to entertain myself?”
Gunner shook his head, once again looking toward the piano. “You’re
such a little shit.”

Noah must have noticed where his attention went, because he pointed
at the instrument. “Try playing. You knew how to when you were in his
body. Let’s see if your brain still remembers.”
Gunner’s back covered in goosebumps, but he wasn’t a coward and
wouldn’t back down from a challenge. Yet as he neared the piano, worry
snuck its way under his skin and whispered that he was being watched, and
that every single person passing by knew he didn’t belong behind the
gorgeous instrument. That he was a brainless chunk of muscle no one
wanted around. Still, he hovered his fingers over the black and white keys
and tried not to panic when he realized how thick and inelegant they were.
But Noah was close, so Gunner swallowed his fear and sat, placing
both hands on the keyboard. The speakers, which so far blasted pop songs,
went quiet, as if leaving space for him to make music, but as the air
thickened in his throat, he couldn’t help but feel out of place with his
sausage-like digits resting on the smooth keys.
Closing his eyes, Gunner shut out the white noise around him and
remembered the first piece of music he’d played in Caspian’s home. The
desire to bring the beautiful melody to life kindled deep in his chest, but
while he remembered its sound by heart, his hands remained still, like dead
weights that couldn’t recognize why they were on the keyboard in the first
place.
The sound system came back to life, roaring about a sale in the
department store, but the speaker’s cheerful voice beat Gunner down
farther.
He should have never touched the piano.
It wasn’t for someone like him.
He pressed a few of the keys in hope that their sound would spark his
memory, but he couldn’t remember someone else’s life and experience.

“You can’t do it?” Noah whispered, as if he were afraid that he might
shatter Gunner by talking too loudly.
A part of Gunner had stupidly hoped that if all else failed, he could
try his hand at becoming a piano teacher. A pipe dream that could never
come true now.
He shook his head, too choked up to speak, but set on not crying in
public. Or at all.
That was it. He’d never play again, because he was a dumb ogre who
hadn’t even finished high school. Jobless. Homeless. With a murky past and
no friends.
Without the man who made him feel so many things and took care of
him.
His life was worthless.
“Look, I shouldn’t have asked. Let’s have lunch, okay?” Noah tried,
pulling on Gunner’s arm.
“He hasn’t even texted,” Gunner uttered, hunching his shoulders to
keep the dark void inside him from spreading. “But I don’t want to call first
and bother him, you know?”
“He did pay your debt. What if he did it to give you a reason to call?”
Noah asked, resting his hands on his hips.
“I should probably give back that money, but I’m in no position to
reject it.”
“Gunner. You’ve been taking care of me, helping Mom, and you even
borrowed all that cash so I could get good treatment and physio. If you
hadn’t done it, I’d be limping and living with constant pain. I’m pretty sure
you deserve to be treated for once. You don’t have to do everything
yourself.”

Gunner chewed on that with sorrow squeezing his heart every time he
glanced at the keyboard. “So you think it would be okay if I called him?”
Noah spread his arms. “Are you blind? I know it might be awkward
now that both of you changed, but he does like you. Otherwise, the two of
you wouldn’t have been spending all that time together.”
There were sexual matters Gunner wouldn’t discuss with his
seventeen year old brother, but he craved contact with Caspian too much to
let go.
He took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll call him.”
But when he pulled out his phone, it rang.
Caspian.

Chapter 30 – Caspian
Caspian’s hands were sweating so much he might’ve considered
rehydrating before the loss of moisture made his head spin. Gunner was
coming over. Finally.
On the day they woke in their own bodies, they had decided to keep
meeting up. He was meant to get boxing lessons that he even wanted to pay
for, but his phone remained silent.
For a day, then two, then a week.
It hadn’t seemed like that big of a deal at first, since he’d been so
eager to reconnect with his parents and make amends for the things Gunner
unwittingly messed up, but as time went on, it occurred to him that maybe
Gunner had changed his mind about the whole thing. Maybe he wanted to
move on, or didn’t have the time to contact Caspian when so much of his
life had ended up in pieces, but his silence had gnawed at Caspian even
deep in the night, when he lay in bed, trying to remember how it felt to
spoon Gunner from behind.
Things had changed since they’d last lain together. Gunner was no
longer the cute, compact twink, and Caspian no longer had the broad chest
Gunner used to curl up into, but the longing for the familiar touch was still
there, like an infected wound at the back of Caspian’s mind.

He’d driven by to check on Gunner but didn’t trust himself to knock
on his door. He’d almost sent out a dozen flirty messages, and tried to
distract himself with his new job, but it was hopeless.
So he’d called and they had an incredibly awkward conversation. But
Gunner had accepted the invitation to come over as it would make more
sense to talk in person. When he’d mentioned it to his parents, they insisted
they wanted to treat Gunner to dinner for saving Caspian’s life by taking
him to the ER. Caspian only agreed to all four of them having dinner
together once Mom and Dad promised to keep their lips sealed about
knowing of their relationship. But by the time their guest knocked on the
door, he still wasn’t sure if that was a good idea.
“Will you let him in, honey? We’re busy in the kitchen,” Mom said,
but Caspian knew his parents wanted to give him and Gunner some privacy,
and he wasn’t entirely sure whether he was glad or about to have a panic
attack. He glanced into the large mirror in the foyer and smoothed back the
blond hair, which fit his coloring so well he hadn’t yet decided what to do
about it. He might have lived in Gunner’s body for less than a month, but
that brief time had changed everything, and while he wouldn’t have been
caught dead in the kind of cutesy, tight clothes Gunner liked to wear, seeing
his own form as an outsider convinced him that fitted clothes were the way
to go. The emerald green pullover he was sporting tonight not only brought
out his eyes but also accentuated the shape of his torso.
He looked good.
Not Gunner-would-have-eaten-him-up good, but definitely attractive.
There was no reason to feel embarrassed in the presence of a man who had
quite literally inhabited his body just over a week ago.
So Caspian manned up and opened the door, only to have his knees
weaken a little. Not because he was all of a sudden attracted to buff guys

twice his size, but because it was Gunner. While the eyes he saw in the
handsome face were brown instead of blue, they reflected everything they’d
done with each other, and every tender word they’d shared.
But they weren’t a good fit anymore, no matter how much he wanted
to throw Gunner over the shoulder and show him that he could still be the
same guy.
“Hey,” Gunner said in that low rumble of a voice, and scratched his
chin, no longer intimidating, despite his size or the ink.
Caspian exhaled and took in Gunner’s simple look of blue jeans worn
with a white T-shirt. It had the faint rectangular creases that betrayed he’d
just taken the top out of its packaging.
A lump got stuck in Caspian’s throat, so he stepped aside, trying to
gather his courage. “Welcome. It’s been a while.”
Gunner walked past him, and the banana & raspberry shampoo scent
he carried with him triggered so many filthy memories Caspian held his
breath in stunned silence.
“Yeah, I kinda thought you gave up on me. That this whole thing was
just too weird.”
Something inside Caspian balked at the accusation, but he calmed
down by the time the door was once again locked. The air smelled of the
meat roasting in the oven, but its familiar, homey aroma wasn’t enough to
soothe the storm raging inside him. “I mean… you said you wanted to give
me boxing lessons, but you just lost your home, so I didn’t want to bother
you.”
Gunner smiled and ruffled his hair as if they were buds not ex-lovers.
“Just teasing. I was about to message you when you called.”
Caspian’s lips twitched, and while he didn’t appreciate other people
infantilizing him, he enjoyed the brief touch. “Someone had to make the

first move. It’s not like anyone else can understand what I’ve been
through.”
“No. No one would.” Was that a faint flush on Gunner’s tan skin, or
was Caspian imagining things? “I got this for your parents…” Gunner held
up a bottle of wine.
A part of Caspian was impressed Gunner was thoughtful enough to
bring a small gift for his hosts, but another cringed over him feeling obliged
to spend the little money he had on the present.
“They will really appreciate this.” Such insignificant small talk, but
the things Caspian truly wanted to say should be left unspoken.
Caspian no longer considered his body a hindrance when it came to
dating, but it was painfully clear that he wasn’t Gunner’s type, and he
needed to live with that, no matter how much he yearned for the messy guy
who’d taught him so many things during their brief relationship.
“Are you sure they wanna meet me?” Gunner whispered, and it was
time to admit why Caspian had invited Gunner instead of meeting him
someplace else.
While Caspian had been craving to see him for reasons he wouldn’t
speak of, they were still friends, and he was set on pulling Gunner out of the
tight spot he was in. Because Gunner deserved a helping hand.
Caspian cleared his throat and stepped closer, amazed that the hulking
guy who was so much taller and broader than him smelled of the same
shampoo the twinky Gunner had.
“They know you helped me when I ate peanuts, and they want to
thank you, since you saved my life.”
Gunner chuckled and bit his lip. “Only that I didn’t. It was all you.”
Caspian shrugged and winked at Gunner. “Tomato, potato, what’s the
difference, right?”

“Everything got kinda mixed up… But at least I came out of the
whole experience knowing some Latin. Did you plant a dead rat in the car
when Alex took it?”
Caspian chuckled and squeezed Gunner’s shoulder, stealing a touch
like some lecher. “It’s not worth it. I’m actually happy I got rid of it. It was
a beautiful car, but the truth is I don’t need to have it right now, and the
money went to something much more urgent and important,” he said and
met Gunner’s gaze, wondering if he’d already found out that Caspian had
paid off his debt, or if he’d have to tell him.
A month ago, he would have called his own actions crazy. He’d
arguably been forced to sell the Southfield for a fraction of its value in order
to appease Alexander. But the fact that he’d spent most of the money he’d
gotten for it on the man who caused the whole mess made him a clown. He
was at peace with that.
His time in Gunner’s body had been short, but it had made the
helplessness of the man’s situation abundantly clear. A good person at his
core, Gunner had fought a losing battle against the system and people
around him since childhood. If Caspian could take some of that burden off
his shoulders, he was determined to do so.
The truth was that he didn’t need the money. Sure, had he kept it, he
could have gotten a nicer car as a replacement, but he wouldn’t have
become homeless or hungry even if Alexander had taken the Southfield
without paying anything. Gunner, on the other hand, might have fallen right
back into crime, were he not offered help.
So that was what Caspian was going to do. He might not have a future
at Gunner’s side, but still had feelings for him, still knew they’d stay close
forever, and he couldn’t have lived with himself if he left the massive

financial burden on Gunner’s shoulders, when he had the means to deal
with it.
It only now struck him that Gunner might take his gesture the wrong
way and storm off, slighted by the charity, but he stood his ground and
smiled.
Gunner kept his gaze for a while. “I’m sorry I didn’t thank you yet.
It’s just so much money. I didn’t know how to say it. I really hope it’s not
‘cause you felt obligated—”
Caspian grabbed his hand and squeezed it, his heart thumping. “No. I
did it because I saw that you’re in a bad situation and deserve help. You’re
my friend, and I want to do this. But let’s keep that between us, all right?”
he asked, because his parents surely would have balked at him giving away
so much money when it could have gone toward something they considered
sensible.
Gunner held on to the slender hand as if he were drowning. “Yes.
We’ll stay friends, right?”
“Do you want to stay here?” Caspian asked, because this was one of
the reasons why he’d invited Gunner in the first place. It was his fault
Gunner was now homeless, and it only made sense to offer him a
comfortable bed to sleep in until he was back on his feet.
Gunner cocked his head in a manner painfully reminiscent of the way
he acted while in Caspian’s body. Even his squint was the same. “What?”
“As in, in our guest room. Sleeping on the sofa can’t be comfortable
in the long run, and it really is the least we could do,” Caspian said as heat
burned his cheeks.
Gunner slipped his hand out of Caspian’s grip. “No, thanks, but, no,
that’s too much. And your parents live here. It would be awkward. I
couldn’t.”

The floor was crumbling under Caspian’s feet. “But my parents
already agreed. And they’re out for most of the day.”
“No, really, you already did too much for me. But thank you. I need to
take care of myself.”
But he didn’t. Every fibre of Caspian’s being craved to take over and
ensure Gunner was safe and comfortable. One step at a time, though.
“We can talk about this again later. I’m sure Mom and Dad are
waiting for us already,” Caspian said and cleared his throat, leading the way
past the home office and into the bright dining room, which also served as
Mom’s green space and was filled with all kinds of potted plants and
flowers arranged on shelves.
Mom was fantastic at making people feel welcome, and while
Caspian expected awkwardness, the meet-and-greet went smoothly, even
though the ice-breaker had been a joke at his expense about the time
Gunner had brought him home drunk. Caspian wouldn’t complain as long
as it made Gunner feel more comfortable.
Caspian was intent on showing Gunner that he wouldn’t be a burden
for them if he stayed for a while. Without the pressure to take the first job
available, he’d get to think through what he wanted to do with his future,
not just survive. After a lifetime of not being given a fair chance, this was
what Gunner deserved. A fresh start.
“You won’t believe how patient this guy is,” Caspian said, gesturing
at Gunner while they ate his dad’s signature tiramisu two hours later.
“When I was trying to make changes to my wardrobe and went on that big
shopping spree, he just walked with me and carried all bags so I could
comfortably browse. And not a single complaint.”
Gunner laughed and hid half his face with the massive hand. At least
the wine seemed to relax him a bit. “It’s not a big deal, I was happy to

help.”
The cake fork looked so tiny in his chunky fingers, and Caspian
would have lied if he said he didn’t miss being the big guy, but his size no
longer made him feel inadequate.
Gunner was still the same person, with the same needs and a gentle
personality hidden inside the rock-hard shell of muscle. If it weren’t for
Gunner’s preferences, Caspian would have picked up where they’d started
in a heartbeat. Now that he knew who Gunner really was, every single thing
he did, even in this large, strong body, was too cute for words and made
Caspian’s heart melt. The desire to take care of him was still there, and
Caspian wouldn’t let go of it regardless of Gunner’s pride.
“Actually, didn’t you just lose a worker after he behaved
inappropriately toward the bridesmaid at that wedding last weekend?”
Caspian asked, glancing at his mother across the table.
There. Everyone had loosened up, and it was the perfect time to bring
up another reason why he’d wanted Gunner to come over and show his
parents that he wasn’t a dumb brute.
Mom picked up on the cue with a smile. “Yes. Gunner, Caspian
mentioned you’re looking for a job right now, and you’re strong and handy.
Would you like a trial run with us? There’s a lot of little odd jobs in event
organizing…”
Say yes, say yes.
Gunner stilled with the fork in his mouth and took a moment to
swallow. “Oh. I don’t know if I’m what people wanna see at their wedding,
or conference, or—” he mumbled and pointed to his face with an awkward
smile.
Mom shook her head before Caspian could have butted in.
“Nonsense. I’m not offering you a job at the reception, so it won’t be an

issue. But strong men are always needed to help with decorating, moving
things, minor carpentry, and so on.”
Gunner seemed lost, so Caspian smiled at him in encouragement.
“What do you think? I know you like doing practical things, and even
if you end up finding something better in a while, why not try this for now?
All the people who work for Mom are really friendly, and customers have
different requests, so you’d be doing a variety of jobs,” he said, trying not
to sound pushy, even though he knew that Gunner should say yes to this.
Because he was right about his tattoos putting him at a disadvantage when
job-hunting no matter how unfair that was.
Gunner gave a slow nod. “Thank you. Yes, I’d love to. As a trial. I
don’t want it to be awkward if it turns out I’m not a good fit.”
“Of course. You can join the team for a month, and we shall see
where we want to go from there,” Dad said, pouring the remaining wine
into Mom’s glass.
She clapped and shook her blonde locks. “I don’t know about you, but
I’m full. How about we move to the music room? Caspian has recently been
playing the piano as if he’d been possessed by the ghost of Mozart. How
about that, sweetheart?” she asked, smiling in a way that froze Caspian’s
blood.
She kept insisting on hearing him play, and had even asked Caspian to
perform at an event—a first since he’d graduated junior high—so Gunner’s
dedication to playing the piano must have impressed her. And no wonder,
because while Caspian was good at following sheet music, Gunner made
music with passion.
Gunner offered to clean the dishes, but Mom wouldn’t have it, and
they ended up going to the music room, like she wanted. Caspian sat on the
bench at the instrument without any more coercing, because he might as

well get it over with. He had a set repertoire of five pieces, which he could
play from memory, and once his mom was satisfied, they could all go back
to their conversation.
He was almost done with the first tune when Gunner whispered
something to Mom and left.
Caspian’s first thought was that maybe he needed to use the
washroom, but why wouldn’t he have done that before Caspian started
playing? Caspian’s skin broke out in goosebumps, and he raised his hands
off the keyboard, stopping the music abruptly.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
Mom shrugged and was about to say something when Caspian rose.
“I’ll be back in a second,” he said and hurried out of the room,
searching for a sign of Gunner’s presence. He heard a door shut down the
corridor, so he rushed over there, only to realize that he was being stupid,
and Gunner really did go to the restroom, because there was light coming
from under its door.
Caspian hovered his hand over the handle, but before he could have
returned to his parents, a muffled sob echoed behind the door, turning his
bones into ice.
Each was a stab piercing through his flesh and touching his heart with
its freezing claws. Perhaps he should have backed away and given Gunner a
moment of peace, but he stepped closer instead and spoke.
“Gunner?”
The gasp inside broke his heart, and made him want to break down
the door just so he could be in there, comforting Gunner over whatever the
problem was.
“Out in a minute!” Gunner said in a shaky voice.

Caspian banged his forehead against the wood, his hand already
squeezing the handle while his heart raced. “No. Now. I want to come in.
Please.”
It took a while, but Caspian eventually heard the lock open, and he
walked in so fast, he hit Gunner’s foot with the door.
“Fuck!” Gunner hissed, rubbing his reddened eyes. “It’s fine, really.”
Caspian shut the door behind him, instinctively resting his hands on
Gunner’s ribs. “It clearly isn’t. What’s wrong?” Caspian asked in a soft
voice, crooking his head to keep looking at Gunner’s face, even when the
stubborn bull tried to turn it away.
There was a dull moment of silence. And then—
“I can’t play anymore,” Gunner choked out. “I tried. At the mall. And
I don’t remember how to. I loved it so much.” He tried to hold in another
sob, but tears still ran down his cheeks and he leaned down to tighten his
arms around Caspian.
The pain in his voice was so shocking that Caspian hugged him back
without thinking, his mind ablaze with sympathy. For him, playing the
piano was a skill, for other people it was a job, maybe a passion, but
Gunner had only been able to play for the short three weeks he’d spent in
Caspian’s body, so it hadn’t occurred to Caspian that he might have missed
it.
Yet the massive man who had enough strength to turn people’s faces
into bloody steaks was crying over his inability to play an instrument, as if
he’d just lost a dearest friend.
“I… I’m sorry, Gun. I had no idea you enjoyed it so much,” Caspian
whispered, pressing his face to the meaty chest in order to embrace him
fully. He could sense every tremor passing through the firm body, and
stroked Gunner’s back to soothe him.

“It’s… it’s like magic to me. It takes me to a different world and
brings back happy memories, like a light at the end of a dark tunnel. And
when I played myself, I felt like I could reach that light and feel its warmth
on my skin. Doesn’t matter now, does it?”
Caspian knew Gunner had a romantic side to him, but he’d never
expected he could be so poetic. With his throat tight, he gently wiped the
tears off the stern masculine features and was on the verge of pulling him
down, so their lips could meet like they used to. But he couldn’t. Gunner
wouldn’t have appreciated it, and Caspian shouldn’t use this moment of
weakness to satisfy his selfish need. Regardless of how much he wanted to
curl around Gunner and protect him from everything that might end up
hurting his soft insides, Caspian shook off the silly notion of them maybe,
possibly getting back together.
He cleared his throat. “I could teach you.”
Gunner took a deep, raspy inhale, staring at the ceiling, as if he were
afraid to meet Caspian’s gaze. “I’d like that. But let’s be real. It will take
years. I even had this idea I could teach the piano if I learned to play, but
who’d let me anywhere near their kid?”
Caspian’s chest tightened, as if ribs were curling around his lungs and
heart to protect them from sadness. But it was no use, because the regret
twisting Gunner’s face kept making him bleed. “I’m sorry,” he said and
offered Gunner the firmest hug.
Caspian’s toes curled when warm fingers swept across his nape.
“It is what it is. I thought I was over it, but then you played, and I fell
apart. I’m such a mess. But who knows? Maybe if I get the basics in five
years or something, I could become a viral sensation on the internet? ‘Looks
like a thug, but plays Mozart’,” Gunner said with a bitter note to his voice.

He was joking, but Caspian knew him well enough to realize it was a
ploy to hide Gunner’s true feelings.
He needed protection. Maybe not his body but definitely his heart,
and Caspian would do anything in his power to make life work out for
Gunner in one way or another.
“You know, if you decided to stay here after all, we could have
lessons every day.”
Caspian could sense the battle inside of Gunner in the prolonged
silence, and held his breath. Stay, stay, stay…
“Would that really be okay? With your parents and stuff?”
“Yes,” Caspian said almost too fast. “This is a huge house, and they
already agreed to it, because I told them about your trailer.”
Gunner licked his lips. Caspian had liked him all small and cute, but
the gentle giant wasn’t any less adorable. “But you’ll tell me if it starts
feeling weird, yeah? I don’t want to ruin this.”
Caspian swallowed, entranced by the raw emotion in Gunner’s eyes.
He took his hands and squeezed them, standing a bit closer than just a
friend should, but their intimacy had long gone beyond friendship. “You
won’t.”

Chapter 31 – Caspian
A week had passed, but each night Caspian would step out of his
bedroom and walk down the corridor, hoping Gunner might open his door
and invite him in. It never happened, and Caspian didn’t want to make
Gunner feel pressured into anything just because they now lived together.
There was no denying facts, though—Caspian missed Gunner. Not his
presence, because they spent lots of time together, but the kind of
relationship they used to have, and which had been cut short by reality.
He’d never been into big, tall guys, but Gunner was… well, he was Gunner,
and while it made Caspian self-conscious that he was again so much
smaller than his sort-of-ex, who very clearly told him he liked buff,
dominant men, he couldn’t shake off the thought that maybe he was
overthinking things. Maybe their bond went beyond looks and wouldn’t
matter to Gunner either?
And if Gunner was the same lost boy with a bad handle on decision
making, only packaged in a bulky body, maybe he was waiting for Caspian
to make a move? Caspian could swear Gunner had rubbed his elbows
against him on purpose when they had a piano lesson yesterday.
Fortune favored the bold, and while nerves were eating up Caspian’s
stomach like ants swarming a piece of cake, he was determined to make his

intentions clear. Dressed in a dark blue suit with a slim tie, hair slicked
back, and in a pair of fancy new brown oxfords with navy laces, he could
barely remember the boy from two months ago, who wore oversized
clothes, and ruffled his hair over his forehead.
Because he was hot now. Maybe not buff or tall, but the tailored
clothes accentuated his narrow hips and shoulders that were quite broad for
his size. Today was the day. Work finished early on Friday, and he hopped
into his new car—a second hand blue Subaru Legacy he’d gotten with the
money remaining from what Alexander had paid him for the Southfield.
Gunner was working on a rustic wedding his mom organized for a
busy lawyer couple, and he’d surely appreciate a bit of leisure at the end of
his day. So Caspian decided to bite the bullet, and drove all the way to the
farm where the event was to be hosted.
He could see garlands of artificial flowers hung on wooden poles all
the way from the parking lot, and he checked his hair a final time before
stepping outside and marching toward the newly-built wooden barn.
He couldn’t spot Gunner anywhere, but Lionel, Mom’s assistant, was
there with his assistant, Katie, both of them chatting over a clipboard in the
bright sunshine. Stylish as always, in a white T-shirt peppered with pastel
polka dots, Lionel smiled at Caspian as soon as he saw him.
“Looks like this caterpillar’s growing wings.”
Caspian’s mouth stretched into a smile, and he approached them
down an aisle between rows of seats meant for the outdoor part of the
ceremony. “I can’t hold a candle to you two. Might have to try harder.”
Katie laughed, and her lush brown curls bounced on her shoulders.
With the large rainbow-colored glasses and a flared skirt, she was a dead
ringer for Zooey Deschanel. “What’s the occasion? You have to live up to
your celebrity status now?”

Caspian struggled to keep on the smile, and discreetly looked around,
but none of the two workers setting up fairy lights resembled Gunner. “It
was a bad day.”
“The jerk had it coming,” Lionel said, straightening his back with an
angry set to his lips. “You shouldn’t out people under any circumstances.”
“Unless they’re a hypocritical public servant,” Katie said, pretending
she was browsing through her folder.
Lionel nodded. “Or a televangelist. Or a homophobic Fox News
anchor.”
“We can all agree on that,” Caspian said, but his eyes were instantly
drawn to a tall silhouette stepping out of the barn, and his heart drummed in
anticipation.
Gunner looked great in black, even though his clothes were a bit
dusty after a whole day’s work. Lionel’s gaze must have drifted the same
way, because he stood closer to Caspian and lowered his voice.
“His name’s Gunner. Don’t know which ex-con reformation program
your mom found him at, but at least he’s eye candy, right?”
“He could have gone with more stylish tattoos on his face though,”
Katie said, twirling her hair. “Some celebrities make it look good, but that
skull is so-so. Like he didn’t want to commit to the bad boy aesthetic.”
Caspian’s stomach filled with ice, but Gunner noticed him before he
could have responded, and when the ruggedly handsome face brightened, so
did Caspian’s. Lionel and Katie were excellent at their jobs, but they were
so snotty he wondered what they said about him behind his back.
“Not everything needs to be an aesthetic.”
“Well, I don’t think he’ll stay with us long, considering he didn’t
know what boho was,” Katie continued.
“What is boho?” Caspian asked, just to fuck with her.

Katie frowned, but then Lionel winked at her and invited Gunner over
with a gesture. “Gunner, tell our friend Cas what you thought boho style
was.”
Gunner glanced at Caspian with a slight pinch to his brows, and put
his hands in his pockets with a deep sigh. “I thought it was hobo, and that
people wanted to use trash cans for decoration…”
Katie burst out laughing, and when she patted Gunner’s bicep
patronizingly, Caspian wished to peel her arm off him out of pure jealousy.
Instead, he’d make her squirm with embarrassment—the thing she probably
feared most.
“Are you saying it’s not? I thought hobo was for men and boho—for
women?”
The little smile on Gunner’s face was barely there, but Caspian
noticed it. He hated the way Gunner slouched though, as if he were trying
to make himself smaller.
Katie groaned. “Oh come on. You know what it is. Tapestries, rugs,
saturated colors, long, floaty skirts…”
Caspian made sure to appear bewildered. “I have no idea what you’re
talking about.”
She huffed in frustration, but Lionel stepped in to cover for the faux
pas. “You done with the fire pit, Gunner?”
“Yeah, all done.”
“You’re sure you checked it twice?”
Gunner frowned. “I’m not—” He took a deep breath. “Yes, I checked
twice.”
Caspian was done with the mean kids attitude. “Gunner’s reliable. I’m
sure it’s all done. Can I take my friend out for lunch yet, or is there
something else you need him for today?”

“Oh. You know each other?” Katie straightened with, and Caspian
couldn’t help the satisfaction he felt at the terror in her eyes. He could only
wonder what other shit Gunner had been put through so far.
“Oh yes, we’ve known each other since high school. Gunner’s giving
me boxing lessons,” Caspian said and glanced at Lionel, who stood still,
with a fake smile.
“I think we will be wrapping up for the day anyway.”
“Fantastic. You up for some food, Gun?” Caspian asked, more than
ready to rub their friendship into both those clowns’ faces.
“Yeah, starving.” The warm grin made Caspian want to kiss him,
cuddle, and then stuff his mouth full of dick. How on earth did Gunner
manage to look cute in his own body was impossible to tell, but his smiles
made Caspian’s heart skip a beat every day.
Katie’s grin was so uncomfortably wide it almost reached her ears.
“You should have said! Do you two want some cake samples to go? We’ve
got orange, fennel, and vanilla, all nut-free,” she babbled as if to make up
for her blunder.
“Sounds delicious. We’d love to have some,” Caspian said and,
despite Lionel still standing close, rubbed Gunner’s arm.
There was a moment of silence when Katie rushed off, but once she
was gone Lionel cleared his throat. “To be perfectly honest, I didn’t know
what boho was until I got into this business. It’s more of a girl thing. But it
kind of goes with the barn wedding and all that.”
So now he was trying to blame all this embarrassment and low-key
bullying of Gunner on Katie. Staying classy, Lionel. “Maybe.”
“The rustic wedding thing is so 2014 anyway. But the bride’s in her
forties, so that’s probably why she chose this theme.”

“I don’t know. I think it’s a nice style. Very warm and inviting,”
Caspian answered, to make Lionel even more uncomfortable. Was the guy
sweating yet?
“You’d wear burlap for your wedding?” Gunner snorted and poked
Caspian with his elbow.
Lionel laughed. “I’m sure his mother wouldn’t allow it. Any husband
on the horizon, Caspian?”
Caspian stilled, because Lionel had kicked his feet from under him
without knowing. And the worst thing was that while he’d never thought of
marriage or commitment, there was only one name that passed through his
mind when he heard the question.
“I would consider it if someone offered to carry me over the threshold
of a nice barn, like this one,” he said and smiled at Gunner, freezing when
their eyes met. Had he said too much?
Katie dispersed the tension by dashing toward them with a big paper
bag filled with tiny boxes of cake samples. “Enjoy! The lemon and
rosemary cupcakes are out of this world.”
“See you tomorrow?” Lionel smiled at Gunner, squeezing the
clipboard a bit too tightly. “You’ve done amazing today.”
Of course he did. Here was to hoping Gunner’s job would be more
pleasant from now on. Caspian was extremely polite when saying his
goodbyes, to keep Katie and Lionel on their toes, and then led Gunner back
toward the parking lot.
“Hope that teaches them a lesson. You don’t have to know everything
from the get-go,” Caspian said as they approached the Subaru.
Gunner shook his head. “It was a good day of work, but they don’t
like me.”

“They’re snobs. Just ignore them as long as they’re being civil. And
they should be, from now on,” Caspian said and opened the door for
Gunner before stalling when he realized what he’d done. Would Gunner
notice?
Would he like it?
Or would he hate it?
He definitely hesitated and gave the door a prolonged look, but then
he sat in the passenger’s seat. In a way, Caspian was glad for the new car,
because the old one was uncomfortably tight for Gunner.
“You look… good in the suit.”
“Yeah? You like it?” Caspian asked, holding the door open, because
as long as he wasn’t in the driver’s seat, something off-plan could still
happen, and all he wanted was to lean inside and give Gunner the kind of
kiss he used to when Gunner had been a sweet, tiny thing. “Seeing you in
my body made me rethink my style choices.”
Gunner snorted. “Has it now? I don’t see you wearing lilac sneakers.”
“Well, they’re not me, but the way you dressed made me see wearing
clothes that are actually my size makes me look better,” Caspian said and
finally shut the door before climbing into the driver’s side.
“You look so put together.” Gunner glanced at him with a little smile,
and Caspian tried to assess whether it was flirting or not. He couldn’t tell,
and making the wrong move might wreck the fragile friendship, which he
so desperately didn’t want to lose. They had been joined in an experience
they could only share with each other, so he never wanted them to lose
touch.
“You think? Do I give off hot boss vibes?” Caspian asked and started
the car.

Gunner laughed out loud, and… was he blushing? “You do. Already
bossing me round. You haven’t even told me where we’re going, and I just
follow your lead like a dumbass.”
Caspian licked his lips, on the verge of suggesting that he intended
this to be more than a casual lunch, but in the end, he shrugged and briefly
touched Gunner’s hand. “Food. Some tea. How about that café by the Grit
library?” Caspian asked but stilled, suddenly remembering the rude way
he’d been treated when he went there last time, while wearing Gunner’s
body.
Shit.
“Actually… we can’t go there.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty expensive, isn’t it?”
It wasn’t expensive for Caspian, but he didn’t want to embarrass
Gunner so he shrugged. “It’s more… look, I might have done something
stupid there when I was still you, on the first day. There’s this guy who
works there, and I’d seen him on Grindr, and I might have come on too
strong. And also might have thrown coffee beans at the manager,” he added,
fighting through the embarrassment twisting his insides.
Gunner laughed out loud instead of being mortified. “You did what? I
didn’t know you had it in you. Then again… you did break Alexander’s
nose,” he teased with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
“We both made mistakes. But yes, the café is off limits for you, I’m
afraid. What do you want to eat? Meat? Pizza?”
Gunner’s face brightened. “Oh, hell yes! Pizza. Are we celebrating
something?”
Just… being in each other’s company.
Caspian, again, had the gnawing urge to touch Gunner in a way that
would have made his intentions obvious, but what if it forced Gunner to

reject him? They’d be stuck in this moving car.
“We can make it whatever we want it to be. Pick up a pizza and make
it a picnic or eat indoors? Your choice.”
“We missed out on a picnic. We should do that in this great weather.
People always stare at me when I go places. I’m kinda used to it, but I just
wanna eat in peace, you know?”
Caspian did know, and this time he squeezed Gunner’s hand as they
drove down the highway, heading to Grit. Gunner squeezed back, leaving
Caspian in the limbo of not knowing what the touch meant. Were they two
gay friends who were close enough to express their support for each other
through touch, or was this a prelude to more?
After a while, Gunner spoke in a softer tone. “I liked that about being
you. I could grab a strawberry Frappuccino at the mall, and no one stared at
me because of it. But that’s probably not what you want.”
“No. Not really,” Caspian said and sped up.
Soon enough, they arrived at the only pizza place in town, which
branded itself with a jungle theme and had a lion mascot. Caspian had to let
go of Gunner in order to change the gears, and the warmth of their physical
touch was gone as if he’d dreamed it.
But he didn’t want to cause any awkwardness, so he smiled at Gunner
and led the way into the restaurant, which smelled pleasantly of dough and
cheese. A roar accompanied their entry, and since Gunner didn’t want to
stay, Caspian went straight to a pickup station set up between two artificial
palms. He was about to press the toucan-shaped bell when a familiar face
emerged from behind the tacky decoration.
Adam, the infamous barista of all people, smiled at him with
recognition. “Oh hey, haven’t seen you in a while. I’m afraid we don’t do
flat whites here.” He pointed to his hat, which bore the logo of the pizzeria.

“Oh, I haven’t been at the café since my friend got thrown out
because someone there didn’t like him,” Caspian said without losing a beat
and glanced over his shoulder back, leading Adam’s attention straight to
Gunner, who’d just gravitated closer.
Adam’s stunned expression was as delicious as Katie getting flustered
earlier. Caspian was so done with people judging Gunner for his exterior.
“I was there, you know,” Adam choked out and glanced toward the
open kitchen, as if he were making sure he had backup. “That’s not exactly
how it went down.”
“No? Then how?” Caspian asked and reached back to grab Gunner’s
hand again, because he now actually had an excuse.
Gunner, who must have realized who Adam was, rolled his eyes.
“Come on, it’s not worth it.”
Adam bit his thumb, avoiding Caspian’s gaze. “He hit on me and was
very inappropriate. If he’s your boyfriend, keep him on a leash.”
“Oh, is hitting on people illegal now? That’s new, considering that
you flirt with most customers to get better tips,” Caspian said, offended
both for Gunner and himself. Adam’s face might be pretty on the surface,
but now that his judgmental nature shone through, it was oddly reminiscent
of a rat muzzle. “You’re not better than him just because you’re a freshfaced boy with a buzzing Grindr profile.”
Adam flushed and leaned back behind the wooden stand. “No, I
flirted with you, ‘cause I thought you were cute. Excuse me for not being
into tattooed meatheads! Maybe if you’d actually asked me out, we
wouldn’t be having this conversation!”
Caspian stalled, struck by the dissonance rattling through his head.
Adam had been into him?

Gunner ran his fingers through his hair, never letting go of Caspian’s
hand. “We’re not getting this pizza, are we?”
“No. And I’m happy I haven’t asked you out, because you’re a
judgmental prick, Adam. This guy here has way more brains and heart than
you,” Caspian said and stormed out with his stomach twisted in fury. He
couldn’t believe this shit.
Gunner only slipped his hand out of Caspian’s when they reached the
car. “Are you okay? We still have lots of cake.”
Caspian pushed his hands into his hair, trying to ease the burning heat
inside him. “I’m fine. I’m just angry at the way he treated you.”
“Yeah, I know, I’m working on not punching people myself.” Gunner
leaned against the vehicle. “He’s your type, isn’t he?”
Caspian stalled, at a loss. “His pretty face doesn’t matter. I don’t want
him. And now we can’t have pizza ever again because I can’t control my
anger,” he said and slapped the roof.
“Were you too shy to ask him out before?” Gunner whispered, drilling
his inquisitive gaze into Caspian. But standing in the parking lot gave
Caspian nothing to do with his hands, and he ended up sliding into the car,
with Gunner following suit.
Words were stuck in his throat, but when he forced himself, more
came out, as if dragged by an avalanche. “I didn’t think anyone would ever
want me. I was small, and thin, and weak, and I thought my face was
average. Whenever I got sex I assumed the guys were just desperate for
anyone, and… yeah, he’s so cute that I assumed he was just being nice. I
wanted to be a big guy. Someone who is immediately seen as masculine,
and dominant, and it was killing me inside that I could never become that.”
Gunner stroked Caspian’s forearm as Caspian tried to work out the
best place to sit down with the cakes, but his mind was a mess of upsetting

memories.
“But you know you’re not, right? People have different tastes. Just
like that pizza barista liked you more than me.”
“I know that now,” Caspian hummed and hit the steering wheel. “But
I used to look in the mirror and see this warped version of myself. And
then, you were there, rocking the blond hair, and the tight clothes, and when
I touched your… my cock, I realized there was so much to like about my
body. It’s thanks to you that I have the confidence to wear this suit.”
He’d intended to go out of town, but the moment he spotted the
library next to the school and the empty bleachers nearby, he took a turn
into the parking lot.
Gunner exhaled. “You have no idea how much it means for me to hear
that. I’ll probably always feel guilty over being a shit to you back at
school.”
“Well, I didn’t treat you that well when we’d first swapped, so let’s
call it even,” Caspian said as soon as they left the car. He grabbed the bag
of cakes and led the way to the school football field while shadows
lengthened and the sun turned a warmer shade.
“And yeah, there’s nothing wrong with your cock, just so you know”
Gunner added with a chuckle. He followed without even questioning where
they were going. “First thing I did when I woke up in your body was jerk
off.”
Heat climbed up Caspian’s back, as if Gunner touched his bare skin.
“I… you know you were my first. The first guy I topped. Because I was too
self-conscious before.”
Gunner pushed his hands into his pockets and slouched a bit as they
got to the bleachers. “You shouldn’t be. You were… err… really good at it.
Not ‘cause you had my body, but because of what you said and did with it.

How you took charge and all. One day soon, you’ll find yourself pretty
twink, and he’ll worship the ground you walk on.”
It should have felt better than it did, but Caspian didn’t want just any
pretty twink. The past month had changed him forever, and he chewed on
his next words as they climbed the bleachers and eventually sat in the top
row, watching the empty field.
“What about you? Now that you’re out… are you looking?” Caspian
asked with ants crawling under his skin. Wouldn’t this be the perfect place
to make a move? At the same school where they’d first met?
Gunner stared out into the football field as Caspian passed him a
dainty cupcake. “Nah… I don’t think I’m ready. I wanna sort out my life
first. Make sure I can handle the new job, get a place of my own and all
that.”
Caspian had been wise not to say anything then.
While Gunner might not have realized he’d rejected him. The hope
Caspian still held on to withered, and there would be no getting it back.
Gunner wasn’t interested.
Not in him. Not in anyone else.
So Caspian might as well stop clinging to the illusion and move on,
regardless of how much his heart balked at the thought of pursuing another
guy.
But he wasn’t a child and had long learned to hide his true feelings, so
he picked up a cupcake of his own and bumped it against Gunner’s, as if
they were holding champagne glasses, not food. “To a bright future for both
of us.”

Chapter 32 – Gunner
After the first bumpy days of working for Barb, Gunner slowly eased
into the job and got to know his co-workers. Even Lionel and Katie, who’d
been distant at first, ended up warming up to him. While he didn’t always
get along with everyone, or grasp every joke, once people got to know him,
they could see the man behind his looks and background.
He wasn’t earning sacks of gold, but without bills to pay, he was able
to not only help out Zahra and Noah but also replace the necessities he’d
lost in the fire. The generosity of the Bradys overwhelmed Gunner at times,
but he’d put his pride in his pocket, because any help he could get was a
lifeline at this point.
Living at a house so lovely was a guilty pleasure, but any time he
considered moving out, he stalled for reasons other than a piano and a
kitchen that had two ovens. Leaving would mean seeing less of Caspian,
and knowing it would eventually happen already gnawed at Gunner’s heart.
A month on from the swap back, Gunner missed Caspian more than
ever, despite them spending so much time together. They’d watch trash TV
after work, and even when tired, both of them always made the effort to
practice the piano. Gunner was making some extremely basic progress, but
playing also meant sitting close enough to feel the warmth of Caspian’s

body and get a whiff of the cologne Gunner associated with the one man to
ever give him what he truly needed.
Even if he found a toppy guy whose sexual taste aligned with his, that
person would never understand him the way Caspian did. The experience
they’d shared forged a bond that couldn’t be broken, but each passing day
reminded Gunner that the fantastical adventure was over, and that he should
be satisfied with having a friend willing to go to such great lengths to help
him out.
Still, each time they were alone, sitting close, or when Caspian looked
at him with the slight frown that reminded him of the bedroom eyes he used
to give Gunner while they were still in the wrong bodies, he got a glimmer
of hope that maybe he wasn’t the only one missing what they used to have.
“How’s it going, Gun?” Lionel asked, approaching him in a maroon
blazer that brought out the color of his eyes.
While a bit of an asshole at times, Lionel wasn’t a bad events
underboss. He was organized and on top of everything, even if a bit
pedantic. Gunner had once witnessed Lionel losing his shit at a flower
delivery company over the phone, and he’d been surprised at how persistent
the fucker could be. They had those lilac roses delivered right on time.
“All good,” Gunner mumbled with a nail between his lips.
He was putting together a donut station for the Candyland-themed
wedding. The bride was a baker, and the groom, a pastry chef, which
explained a lot, though Gunner still couldn’t get over how much time,
effort, and money some people were ready to spend on a single party.
The cost of this wedding could have funded a small house.
“I don’t know if working in wedding planning makes me feel more
romantic or resent the whole thing,” Lionel said with a huff and waved his
folder to produce a breeze His mid-length hair made up the perfect

pompadour and wouldn’t fall out of place, surely held by some magical
product.
Gunner hammered in the last nail on a board meant to hold donuts. “I
guess it’s nice that people want to celebrate their love and shit. If they have
the money, might as well. And they get lots of gifts.”
“You haven’t been doing this long enough. And you’re not actually
seeing all the meltdowns that happen at weddings,” Lionel said and opened
his eyes comically wide. “Just a week ago, this one guy got so drunk before
the ceremony his best man needed to step in for him at the first dance.
Makes me wonder if he became the stand-in on the wedding night too.”
Gunner whistled. “Maybe it’s one of those throuple situations. You
don’t have anyone? Always the bridesmaid, never the bride?”
“Gunner. That’s offensive. How about always-the-best-man-neverthe-groom, huh?”
Gunner rubbed his face in embarrassment. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I
just meant… you know.”
Lionel grinned and robbed his smoothly-shaven cheek. “Just pulling
your leg. There actually is someone, but I told him it’s not gonna happen.”
When Gunner stared at him in disbelief, Lionel shrugged. “I feel this
pressure to have this perfect wedding all the straights would envy, but as
much as I like nice suits and food, stuff like this doesn’t speak to me,” he
said, gesturing at the garlands made of fake candy and macaroons, at the
pastel-hued ribbons attached to table cloths, and the rustic booths meant for
food and painted in all the sweetest colors.
Lionel went on. “All my life I heard that I shouldn’t rub my sexuality
in people’s faces, so I low-key want to, but I also think organizing giant
parties to celebrate that uh-we’re-in-a-legal-relationship-now, is kinda
tacky. And the presentation takes over what’s actually important. I’d rather

have my guy stay with me because he wants to, not because there’s
formalities involved in leaving.”
Gunner hadn’t expected such a thoughtful answer from a guy who
usually needed to be taken with a grain of salt any time business wasn’t the
topic at hand. “How did you um… find him?”
Gunner’s stomach tightened with the stress of inquiring about such
private things, so he toyed with the hammer to occupy his hands. He wasn’t
out to the people he worked with, and none of them were the sort to have
friends at the trailer park where Gunner used to live, so they didn’t know
about him.
Deep down, he knew he could come out to them and no one would
bat an eye. There was Lionel, one of the women was bisexual, and last
week Gunner found out their carpenter was a trans man, yet taking that step
felt like crossing a canyon. Deep down he feared that everything would
change if people knew. He worried they’d treat him differently or ask
questions he wasn’t ready to answer. Or worse, try to set him up with
someone when he wasn’t ready to meet another someone.
Lionel rolled his eyes. “I tell everyone I met him at a charity event,
but the truth is we met on Facebook, in a group with memes about county
politics. We bonded over mocking the previous sheriff, and now I’m stuck
with a guy who sits on his ass all day and streams video games for a living.”
Gunner snorted, surprised that a fashionable guy like Lionel would
have looked at that kind of man twice. “I always kinda imagined you with a
high-powered lawyer.”
“Or a fashion designer, I know,” Lionel said and, after a moment’s
hesitation, browsed through his phone before showing Gunner a picture
clearly taken at a Halloween party. In the photo, Lionel wore a skin-tight
bodysuit in a pearlescent white shade, fake hoofs, and a wig that

incorporated horse-like ears and a spiral horn on the forehead. Next to him
was a man of average size dressed in a My Little Pony T-shirt and a rubber
horse head mask that could have been purchased at the dollar store.
“We were supposed to match and go as horses. Couple goals, right?”
Lionel asked with a chuckle.
Gunner laughed with him, getting all warm inside. It felt like crossing
a threshold in their relationship, as if Lionel no longer saw him as just a
worker he spoke to solely about the job. Gunner itched to share that bit
more about himself too, and since Lionel was gay, maybe even open up
about his sexuality, but something inside him kept balking at the notion of
others knowing his secret. As if he were trying to climb over barbed wire
made of fear and inadequacy.
Admitting his sexuality in Caspian’s body had been one thing. This
one? Quite another. Even telling Noah the truth had been tough.
“I mean… he seems fun. Xbox controller wedding cake?” he teased.
Lionel pressed his hand to his chest in a theatrical gesture. “You, sir,
are inspiring me! Ha, I might consider it if we kept the party on the downlow. Though if I surprised him with something like this, he’d surely cry. My
guy’s a big softie,” he said and put the phone back into his pocket. He
hesitated, but glanced at Gunner again. “And you? Any wedding bells on
the horizon?”
He’d asked about that before, but it always came with a dose of
teasing, which prompted Gunner to reply with vague jokes. But after Lionel
had shared his story, Gunner’s throat dried with the lies it didn’t want to
produce. He could ask Lionel to keep his truth to himself. Before the
exchange they’d just had, Gunner assumed his secret would go straight into
the gossip bin, but—

“Oh. Okay. The bride wasn’t supposed to be here yet.” Lionel turned
his face to speak into the little device he used to communicate with Katie
when she was far away. “Bride alert. I repeat, bride alert.”
Three people stepped through a gap in the manicured bushes
surrounding the garden where the reception was to take place in two days’
time, and while one of them was tall as a giraffe, it wasn’t the groom.
The only man in the party was handsome, with a muscular chest and
arms, but he looked extremely average between a woman in fishnet and
leather, and a pink-haired stunner whose simple clothes couldn’t hide her
enormous height. She not only dwarfed her male companion but was twice
the size of the goth chick.
“Aaand we might have to raise the wedding arch a bit more,” Lionel
said absent-mindedly before welcoming the bride with a smile.
The woman was taller than Gunner, yet she still wore high heels,
approaching them in quick strides. “I just had to see it, you know? And this
is the donut station? Oh, God… it’s everything I’ve ever wanted!” She
wiped the tears already glistening in her eyes, leaving Gunner bewildered.
It was just a board with rows of nails made to her specification. It
hadn’t even been painted yet.
“Yeah. Katie will apply the finishing touches later. You wanna talk to
her… maybe?” Gunner didn’t feel like the right face for a Candyland
wedding, and he’d hate himself if Barb got complaints about him, but the
bride nodded, offering him a broad smile.
“Oh, yes, I’d love to chat to her, but this is amazing!” She pointed to
the board with a glittery nail before Lionel swooped her away.
The groom smiled at Gunner and patted his arm. “Great job, man,” he
said and quickly followed, leaving Gunner with a warm feeling in his gut.

The board hadn’t been his idea, and he’d simply done his job, but
being appreciated felt nice anyway. Working for Barb and living with the
Bradys had opened his eyes to just how little of it he used to get. Every now
and then, he’d hear Barb complimenting Thomas’s tie, or Caspian telling
his mom how much he liked her breakfasts. Gunner tried slowly adapting to
that, yet still struggled with feeling awkward during such exchanges.
To express his gratitude for letting him stay, and as an excuse to spend
more time with Caspian, Gunner was learning to cook. He hadn’t tried
making anything too fancy, but he was allowed to use any of the many
recipe books and kitchen staples, and he found that he enjoyed transforming
ingredients into food. In a kitchen as grand as the one in the Brady home,
cooking wasn’t solely a utilitarian task to fill his stomach, but a pleasure in
itself.
Just like melodies consisted of single notes, elaborate food was made
of many ingredients, which created a symphony of flavor only once he put
them together. Without having to worry over wastage if he messed up,
Gunner felt free to experiment and added his own flair to the culinary tunes.
But there was one thing he enjoyed even more than the challenge learning
to cook posed.
Feeding his hosts.
He’d served them pancakes for breakfast last Sunday. Since then,
they’d acted as if he was King Sugar, Barb had bought him a book on
baking, and Caspian had gifted him a jar of vanilla pods. At first, he
worried they were patronising him, offering praise as if he were a dog that
finally learned to fetch. But the truth was that the Bradys were genuinely
nice and appreciated his efforts to give back.
Now that they knew him as a person, not a stranger with a facial
tattoo and bulging muscles, they no longer saw him as a threat. While

Gunner had experienced as much unreasonable hostility as kindness since
he’d started working for Barb, he decided to at least try seeing people the
way they were instead of making the same kinds of assumptions others
made about him.
He was about to return to his work when he realized that the goth
chick in cut-out leather pants that showcased the fishnet stockings she wore
underneath stayed behind and was now smiling at him. She had unusual
makeup, with lots of pink and peach hues on the cheeks, nose, even around
the eyes, but the amount of piercings she managed to collect on her face
would have set off metal detectors at any airport. There was even a silver
chain resting across her nose, above the upturned tip, and unless Gunner’s
eyes were tricking him, it was attached to piercings in both wings of her
nose.
He bit back a smile, because it made him remember the barbells in
Caspian’s nipples. Why he still wore them would remain a mystery, because
Gunner didn’t dare ask. “Can I help you with anything?”
“I was hoping you’d ask. What are you doing this Friday?” She
grinned and knocked on the donut board Gunner had set up.
Gunner didn’t think the Bradys had anything planned. “Don’t know
yet. Why? You need a piercing station made?” He winked, pointing to the
board, but cringed on the inside. He shouldn’t have said that. This was the
bride’s friend, and the last thing he needed was finding out from Barb that
someone complained about his behavior. He kept working on his selfcontrol, but sometimes his mouth spewed things and nothing could be done
about it.
But she didn’t seem offended and chuckled. “No. My plus one
decided to run off to the other side of the country without telling me, and

you look like a worthy replacement,” she said, letting her gaze linger on his
tattooed arms.
Gunner raised his eyebrows. “Oh. Oh. I do?” He wasn’t used to
women hitting on him. Usually, he scared them off with his looks even if
they considered him attractive, and since he never made the first move, he
lived in a happy catch-22.
But now was the time to make a decision, because he’d either reject
her and risk the consequences, if she felt offended, or go with the flow the
way he always did and—what—end up with another girlfriend?
“Big. Dangerous. Just the way I like them,” she teased but didn’t
approach, as if she hadn’t yet decided if he were the biting type or not.
Sink or swim.
“I… I’m gay,” he mumbled with his heart pounding as if it wanted to
launch into space.
She laughed. He stared. Her laugh died.
“Oh. You’re serious,” she said with wide eyes. “Sorry.”
Gunner could hardly hear her through the blood thudding in his ears.
“No, it’s okay. You couldn’t know. I… I could still go with you. Just…
yeah.”
The woman relaxed and waved her hand through the air. “It was
worth a try.”
They smiled at each other, and Gunner felt overcome by a weird
weightlessness, as if the shackles he’d always worn had crumbled to pieces.
But Katie sent him a message, asking for his presence in the main building,
which kept him from agonizing about what he’d just done. He said his
goodbyes to the goth chick and rushed off, ready to hear about whatever
dramatic turn of events stressed out Katie this time. Chair covers arriving in
a hot pink instead of pastel? The plastic pony sculpture having unwanted

genitals? It had happened before, and it had been Gunner’s job to saw off
the horse cock, then sand down its crotch.
Katie waved at him from the wooden arch that had been custom-made
for the occasion. He saw what the issue was from afar.
Lionel had been right about the size of the thing. Both the bride and
groom fit under the contraption, but her head was too close to the highest
point of the arch and would look terrible in photos.
“Gunner, do you think we can bring the arch up altogether? From the
bottom?” Katie asked as soon as he approached.
Gunner shrugged and cocked his head. “Sure, we’ll just need more
wooden crates.”
Katie sighed. “And more of the flowers to cover them…”
The groom smiled and kissed his bride’s hand. “Anything for my
queen.”
A part of Gunner wanted to laugh at the image, considering their size
difference, but their affection was kind of endearing. It made him imagine a
world where it didn’t matter to Caspian that Gunner wasn’t a cute twink
anymore.
If a guy didn’t have an issue with marrying a woman who was so
much taller than him, and Lionel dated a guy with completely different
interests, then maybe he didn’t have to feel ashamed about who he was?
Easier said than done, of course, but one had to start somewhere.
“We’ll take care of it, don’t worry,” Lionel said and gestured toward a
steep flower bed filled with red and pink tulips. “This is where we’re
planning to set up the photo booth. Katie, would you take them through the
details?” he asked, and his assistant led away the happy couple.
That left Gunner with Lionel and Fay, an artist who often made
custom decorations for Barb’s company and had a penchant for flower

crowns.
Gunner scratched his head and scooted to get a better look at the
bottom of the arch. “I’d rather the carpenter did this, really. We don’t want
all this wood falling on them as they say their vows…”
Fay smiled, typing on her phone. “I’m texting him right now. Lionel?
Guess who my brother has a date with tonight…”
Lionel gave a little gasp. “Is it our prince?”
“The very same,” Fay said with a grin. “My brother is a stick of
dynamite. Poor Caspian won’t know what hit him.”
Gunner stumbled to his knees, out of breath and confused. Caspian
had a date? And hadn’t told him? He was getting hot and cold all at once, as
if his brain was short circuiting.
Lionel snorted, not realizing Gunner was about to crash-land and
break all his bones. “He’s actually cleaned up quite nicely last month.
Breaking that guy’s nose gave him all the big dick energy he’s been
lacking.”
Fay laughed and pushed at Lionel’s arm. “Stop it!”
“Stop what? It’s true!” Lionel grinned. “He’s a five-foot-three Don
Draper now.”
“W-who’s your brother?” Gunner choked out.
Fay shrugged and pressed the tape measure to the side of the arch
before making a note in her cell phone. “Don’t think you know him. He’s a
graphic artist.”
“And a hot twink. Just Caspian’s type,” Lionel mused, stepping away
when Fay tried to slap his calf.
Gunner got back to his feet, dizzy from all the emotions hitting him
like a hammer to the head. Caspian wasn’t the kind of person to maliciously
withhold information, so he likely didn’t think it was a big deal, but being

kept out of the loop still hurt, because Caspian was moving on while
Gunner… was still hopelessly in love.
“I’m gay,” he stated without even stuttering.
Both Fay and Lionel turned their heads to stare at him.
The silence went on for so long Gunner was starting to get chills, but
Fay finally broke it with a chortle to Lionel. “Told you that’s how Caspian
knew him.”
Lionel spread his arms, sizing up Gunner from head to toe. “Well fuck
me sideways. My gaydar didn’t even make a blip.”
Fay rubbed her nose. “Is there a reason you’re telling us? If you want
a shot at my brother, you gotta stand in line.”
“N-no. I just wanted you to know.”
Lionel opened his arms but only hugged Gunner when given
permission. “Thanks for telling us, big guy.”
He’d broken a lot of barriers today, and the world hadn’t ended.
Which meant it would remain standing even if he took one more bold
step. One that was probably more sink than swim, but if he didn’t at least
try, he’d never know if he’d missed out on the love of his life.

Chapter 33 – Caspian
Caspian stared at the house through the open garage door but hadn’t
stepped out of the car since he’d parked it five minutes back.
The date with Finneas, Fay’s brother, had gone well. Nothing
explosive or life-altering, but they did have many topics in common, and
the guy was a cutie with long black hair and a beautiful, tempting mouth.
And while a bit taller than Caspian, their flirting suggested he was a bottom,
and interested in what Caspian had to offer.
With Mom and Dad away for the weekend, Caspian could have
invited him over for the night, but he didn’t want to put Gunner on the spot.
He could have also gone to Finneas’ place, but when that came up, Caspian
found himself stalling.
He did enjoy Finn’s company, and found him attractive, and maybe
something more than sex could have come out of this if he gave the guy a
chance. But the truth was that no matter how much he wanted to move on
from the past, his heart still beat for only one man.
So he came back, giving up on sex with a pretty boy in order to teach
Gunner how to play the piano, and watch a movie with him. Because they
were best buddies, and he really cared.

Caspian rolled his forehead against the steering wheel and left the car
at long last. He relaxed his shoulders and entered his parents’ home, hoping
to at least change into something more comfortable before Gunner noticed
his presence.
But the shuffling of a chair in the kitchen lit up by a couple of LEDs
put an end to those hopes, and he faced Gunner, who watched him from the
breakfast bar. The faint glow behind him cast a shadow on his face but also
illuminated his broad shoulders and thick arms as he slid off the barstool,
dressed in a simple outfit of blue jeans and a white T-shirt, which fit him
just right.
“Hey,” Gunner said, arching his neck, as if he wanted to see
something behind Caspian.
Caspian glanced over his shoulder, but they were alone. “How was
your day?”
Gunner exhaled and crooked his hips, drawing Caspian’s attention to
the way denim shifted on his crotch. “Oh, you know, the regular wedding
drama. But… You know Fay right? She said you had a date tonight? How’d
it go?” He lowered his gaze to the counter and swirled his finger over the
marble.
Caspian stilled, but his heart thumped with unease, and he leaned
against the wall, briefly avoiding Gunner’s gaze, because this
uncomfortable atmosphere was his fault. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It’s
just… it’s weird, you know? And I didn’t know how it’d go so I figured
there was no reason to say anything unless things got serious.”
“And did they? Get serious?” Gunner looked like a wall of muscle,
yet Caspian was all too aware of the fragility hiding in that big body.
And the question hiding behind the one Gunner had verbalized
squeezed around his heart. They both remembered their brief relationship

and longed for the sense of fulfillment it used to give them, but things were
different now, and it wasn’t healthy to focus on what was lost. “We had
dinner.”
“Soo…” Gunner stepped back to reveal two small plates on the
counter. “Room for dessert?”
Tightness grabbed Caspian’s throat. He shouldn’t have been upset. It
was a good thing that Gunner wasn’t jealous of him and instead offered him
a sample of yet another of his culinary experiments.
But he was upset. And the fact that he couldn’t have Gunner had
never before been made so clear.
“Yeah.”
Gunner’s smile twisted the knife in Caspian’s heart. “I made us
tiramisu,” he said, presenting the slab of cake dusted with cocoa. “I made
too much, but I’m sure your parents will enjoy some once they’re back.”
“Yeah, Dad keeps asking me what your secret ingredient is,” Caspian
mused and placed his blazer on a side table in the hall before joining
Gunner in the kitchen. His gaze trailed down the muscular back and settled
on Gunner’s ass. He had such hard buttocks, muscular from all the physical
exercise.
Caspian really should focus on something else.
“Better not tell him it’s my special cream.” Gunner wiggled his
eyebrows when they both sat in barstools in front of generous portions of
dessert.
Idiot. Caspian loved his crude jokes.
They always made him think of dirty things he’d told Gunner during
sex. And the tiramisu was great. Satisfying, sweet, with some bitterness
from the coffee, and having a mouthful allowed Caspian to keep his lips
shut for a bit longer.

“Leave that kind of spice for a boyfriend,” he said.
The silence that settled between them next was surprisingly
uncomfortable. Had he overstepped? Gunner had no snappy comebacks,
didn’t turn the comment into a joke, nor attempt to make the conversation
even dirtier.
Caspian’s back itched, as if he were about to start sweating, and he
swallowed a piece of cream and sponge. “You’ll find someone very soon,
I’m sure.”
Gunner put his spoon down and took a deep breath. “Could we really
not work? I know I don’t look like the guys you’re after, but I’m the same
person, okay?”
Caspian stilled, and the spoon fell out of his hand, clattering on the
plate. Hot fingers clawed at his shoulders and kept him still as he watched
emotion wash over Gunner’s stern, masculine features.
Was this… really possible? Had they both been thinking about this
and not said a thing for weeks?
“Are you serious? I’m half your size,” he said, hot at the humiliation
of having to spell it out. But it was true, and there was no escaping it.
Gunner chewed on that, but then… got off the chair and went down to
his knees in front of Caspian. And once he sat back on his heels, he tilted
his head back and looked up with shiny brown eyes. “How about now? I
wanna be your bitch, whatever your size is.” His voice trembled, and just
knowing he provoked such strong feelings in Gunner shot pure adrenaline
into Caspian’s system.
Fire exploded in the pit of Caspian’s stomach and scorched his
insides, traveling all the way to his head. His treacherous mind told him that
this wasn’t possible. That Gunner couldn’t want this. That maybe he was

lonely and didn’t know how to approach another man now that he was back
in his own body.
But his heart beat faster, and he slid off the chair, lured by the
pleading eyes that watched him as if he were the only man left in the world.
“I like that,” he found himself saying. “You look beautiful on your
knees.”
The tremble in Gunner’s lips and the red tint flooding his face
switched something in Caspian. He was now a predator, and he’d tasted
blood in the water.
Gunner didn’t even blink, his eyes following Caspian’s every move,
as if he too recognized the shift in mood.
“I’m not… ‘beautiful’ anymore, but I could be yours.”
Caspian stalled, struck by the resignation in that statement. It was true
that Gunner no longer looked like the pretty boys Caspian used to have eyes
for, but he was handsome, and sturdy, and not in any way unattractive. He
might not have been what Caspian considered his type, but it did not matter
when Caspian saw him as so much more than the muscular body he wished
to have.
“Don’t say that. You’re still the same person,” Caspian whispered,
cupping Gunner’s face with both hands. It blew his mind that he was in a
position to reassure someone like Gunner.
“You can see that?” The brown eyes staring up at him were as needy
and starved for affection as the blue ones had been when Gunner had worn
Caspian’s face.
Caspian nodded, for a moment too choked up to speak. “Gunner, I’ve
never known another person more intimately. I see you how you really are.”
Gunner took a deep breath, not moving an inch off the floor. “I love
you.”

He might have as well have swept Caspian off his feet and hugged
him forever.
Caspian kneeled next to him and opened Gunner’s mouth with a hard,
demanding kiss, just like the ones he’d dreamed of since they returned to
their own bodies. Gunner’s skin was rough to the touch in a way it hadn’t
been, but he yielded with familiar ease.
“You told me you didn’t want to date. I thought… it was over
between us.”
Gunner let out a whine, grabbing Caspian’s forearms. “I didn’t want
to date anyone else.”
“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. I’m back with you,” Caspian whispered,
pulling Gunner close and kissing the top of his head. A sense of power
burned through his core, telling him to claw at his reclaimed lover’s flesh
and truly make him his again. Despite the size difference, Gunner was
already putty in his hands, and Caspian couldn’t wait to mold him.
It didn’t matter that Gunner was bigger when he wanted to submit to
Caspian despite being so buff and strong.
When Gunner arched up for another kiss, it was in Caspian’s power to
tease him with denial, so he leaned back with a wicked smile. His mind
soaked in visions of what could happen next, playing out hundreds of
scenarios, and suggesting that he could demand things a smaller man
wouldn’t have been able to do for him.
“Take off your clothes. You belong to me now. And you will do
everything I say,” Caspian said, standing up and unwinding his tie.
The way Gunner’s eyes followed him made Caspian stand even taller.
The man kneeling before him saw him for who he was, and no one could
ever replace him. When Gunner peeled off his T-shirt, showing off all that
tattooed flesh, Caspian could see himself teasing this big guy, and slowly

exploring how much the strong body could take. A faint aroma of fruit and
flowers radiated from the newly bared flesh. Caspian had learned to
associate it with Gunner during their swap and couldn’t help but smile at
how adorable it was that Gunner had showered before this impromptu date
and used his favorite pink shower gel.
Had he prepared himself in hope of Caspian taking the bait? Had he
played with his ass, inserting fingers, a smooth bottleneck, or some other
phallic item? Did he want to be treated exactly like before, or had
something changed?
Gunner didn’t bother folding his clothes and dropped them to the
floor. His hands shook, as if he were on the verge of a meltdown, and seeing
him so nervous stoked the predator within Caspian, triggering thoughts so
lewd he needed to adjust his package.
“Did you jerk off thinking about me?”
Gunner rubbed his hair, and even though he was so much taller, when
he stood naked in front of Caspian, he couldn’t have seemed more
vulnerable.
“Hell yes,” he admitted in a raspy voice. “Every fucking day. A few
times I even drifted off at work and had to take care of it in the bathroom.
I’m fucking obsessed with you.”
His words caressed Caspian’s balls, forcing him to spread his legs,
because the last thing he wanted was to get overly excited too soon. He’d
never thought anyone could want him this much and so shamelessly, but
maybe the fact that he was small and short didn’t matter with the right
person. He stepped closer, twisting both of Gunner’s nipples until the
handsome face creased with pain.
“How come those aren’t yet pierced like mine?”

“You want them to be?” Gunner bit his lip, and covered his growing
erection with his hand. Caspian knew that body inside and out, yet couldn’t
wait to learn all the new things he could do with it.
He wanted to see whether Gunner would produce as much pre-cum as
he used to in the other form, or whether he was as reactive to teasing. After
a month of thirst and longing, he was entering the candy store, and he could
reach into all the jars, taking whatever struck his fancy.
Caspian had to rise to his toes in order to grab Gunner’s jaw, but he
made sure to dig his fingers real hard into flesh. “Hands back. You don’t
have the right to modesty when you’re with me.”
Gunner’s breath tickled Caspian’s fingers, but it was the speed with
which he followed the order that made Caspian’s dick harden. Gunner
didn’t have to listen. Caspian wouldn’t be able to force him. But Gunner
wanted to submit.
All of Gunner was on show and his to touch. The hairs on his
forearms bristled at the sight of Gunner’s cock twitching, and he knew he
would take his time tonight until both of them couldn’t stand it anymore.
He opened a drawer in the kitchen island and pulled out two plastic
clamps used to reseal packages. “I do want them pierced. Mine are still
healing, but they’re so sensitive, and whenever I feel something rub against
them, I remember that you put them there,” he said and pulled on one of
Gunner’s nipples before mercilessly closing the clamp on the tender flesh.
Gunner gasped, and his face relaxed, expressing the insecurities and
nerves that still plagued him. He didn’t need to wear a mask when he was
with Caspian, and his openness made Caspian want to push him further than
ever before.
“I liked you teasing me there,” Gunner said, but his chest rose and fell
ever faster as he breathed in and out. He held his hands behind his back

submissively—a bull of a man, yet willing to be at Caspian’s mercy.
Caspian put a clamp on Gunner’s other nipple and flicked them both,
cooking on the inside when tension passed over Gunner’s handsome
features. This guy could’ve broken Caspian in half, yet he chose to put
himself in his care.
Caspian had never been interested in burly men, so he’d considered
his recent attraction to Gunner as seeing beyond his exterior. But watching
him kneel brought out a new kind of thirst. “I won’t spare you. It’s not like I
could break someone so big and strong,” he muttered and slid his hand over
Gunner’s flesh as he walked behind him. The massive hands were clasped
together at the small of Gunner’s back, but Caspian still twisted Gunner’s
arms to make his point. The fancy silk tie would be the perfect thing to
ensure Gunner knew his place.
Anticipating a submissive lover in his future, Caspian had spent some
time last month learning knots, and while Gunner wasn’t going anywhere, a
bit of bondage would enforce the notion that he wasn’t the one in charge.
Moments later, both thick wrists were secured.
“You can always try,” Gunner said, and the teasing in his voice
prompted Caspian to slap his ass. Muscular, yet with enough give for a
good squeeze, the buttocks had Caspian staring. And they were his to play
with.
He kicked Gunner’s feet apart and pushed on his back, wordlessly
forcing him to bend over. And before Caspian could have lost the benefit of
surprise, he grabbed the meaty cheeks and spread them wide.
Gunner’s hole looked so snug with the delicate, wrinkled skin around
it, and when Caspian smelled musk and soap, he leaned in and let hot spit
drizzle to the vulnerable flesh.

Gunner whimpered, strained by the uncomfortable position, but he
was fit enough to take any challenge Caspian wanted to put him through.
The soft flesh felt good against Caspian’s finger when he ran it down
Gunner’s crack, and it was only then that he realized Gunner had shaved
that entire area.
Sweat beaded on Caspian’s back.
“I see you’ve prepared for this,” he whispered and rubbed his crotch
against Gunner’s thigh.
Arousal was a constant pressure in his balls, but he wanted to make
this last. To tease Gunner into oblivion and deny him release for hours. Just
because Gunner had given him the reins.
Just because he could.
“All smooth,” Caspian said, rubbing his saliva all around the hole
while Gunner squirmed and clenched his bound hands. He was big, strong,
yet so helpless and open.
Gunner didn’t dare try to pull his legs together or protest. “I… I
thought you might like that. In case. In case of this.”
Caspian didn’t find hair in any way repulsive, but the fact that Gunner
was willing to shave his intimate parts for him made his dick so rigid he
couldn’t wait any longer and spat at the hole again before screwing in his
thumb. Gunner was tight. But despite flinching at the sudden penetration,
he didn’t protest. And his passivity was so damn hot Caspian could barely
stand still when his brain clouded with lust.
Maybe they should have talked about limits, but Caspian was positive
he couldn’t come up with anything Gunner wouldn’t have wanted to at least
try, so he moved the digit inside the snug channel and slapped Gunner’s
buttock, grinning when the sphincter tightened around his thumb.
This ass belonged to him now.

And he wanted Gunner to know.
“I want to come before we keep on playing. You’ll get to your knees,
you will put your cheek on the floor, and you’ll let me use you.”
Never in his wildest dreams would have Caspian imagined that this
was what he’d be doing with Gunner Russo, and yet here they were.
Gunner shivered when Caspian pulled the digit out of him, but didn’t
hesitate and lowered himself to the floor. “I… I’ve never… I bought a
dildo, but I didn’t—”
Right. Gunner’s body had never been penetrated. In a way, Caspian
would be taking his virginity for the second time, and that thought forced
him to frantically open his pants as pressure in his balls rose. “Okay. So you
want to go slow after all?” he asked, because as much as he liked the idea of
using Gunner for his pleasure without any foreplay, he wanted Gunner to
have a good time and crave the things Caspian wanted to unleash on him.
“No. Just need you to know. I wanna feel you in me,” Gunner
mumbled and lowered the front of his body until his cheek met the cold
tiles. All his muscles strained to keep him from falling on his face, and he
awkwardly spread his legs wide in a bid to compensate for the bound hands
and achieve greater balance. It paid off, and watching him in this
compromising position had Caspian gasping for air.
Gunner was so showing the dildo to Caspian later, but he wanted to
load his lover with cum first, so he pulled out a packet of lube, which he’d
taken with him in case the date went well.
“It’s your lucky day, Gun. I’m gonna pump you full of cum, and
you’ll have to just take it,” he whispered, trying not to lose his mind as the
cool lubricant covered his shaft. Even the way he saw his own dick had
changed now. So maybe it wasn’t massive, but his average cock was more

than enough to take a guy for a ride. And because it had a nice girth to it,
he’d have to be careful with Gunner’s virgin ass.
“Christ. I’ve had so many wet dreams about this. I never knew how
much of a slut I was,” Gunner mumbled, arching his ass back, as if he
wanted to tease Caspian into going for it without any more preparation.
“Only for me. Otherwise you’d be giving out freebies behind the
Karma motel already,” Caspian said and smeared some more lube over
Gunner’s entrance. He pressed his cockhead to the tight opening and
waited, breathing slowly to resist the urge to just push on.
“Sounds like me. Go on. I want you in me. Wanna know what it’s
like,” Gunner muttered, and Caspian could hardly believe they’d taken the
plunge.
It felt so right no matter which body he was in.
Gunner would always be his.
He squeezed the back of Gunner’s neck as the sphincter yielded to the
pressure and let him in. The heat inside him made Caspian vibrate, and he
worried he might come right away, but when he bottomed out, and his balls
rested against Gunner’s ass, they were still full of cum.
“That’s it. Your cherry popped again,” he muttered, moving his limbs
until almost all his weight rested on Gunner’s hips and back. He would ride
him like a bull. Because he could. “I’m not gonna touch your dick, because
this is about me. But I’m gonna use you to deposit all the cum I’ve saved
this past month.”
“Oh, yeah…” Gunner whimpered in a broken voice, and when
Caspian moved his hand to the front of Gunner’s neck, his Adam’s apple
bobbed against the sensitive palm, as vulnerable to pressure as anyone
else’s.

“Yeah, you like that? You like being my boy?” Caspian whispered,
shivering with pleasure the moment he said that, but he didn’t wait for an
answer from Gunner and leaned back, grabbing his lover’s meaty hips.
A soft gasp escaped Gunner’s mouth when Caspian pulled almost all
the way out before slamming back into the vise-like grip of that hot
channel.
It felt so good. Heavenly.
“Yes,” Gunner choked out. “I’m just your greedy hole. Yours to use
whenever you’re horny.”
Gunner’s thighs trembled, and he presented the picture of total
submission with his ass in the air. So Caspian squeezed the flesh of his
buttocks and rode. Rode him as hard and fast as he could, not even trying to
last longer as dirty fantasies spilled out of his mouth. “I’m gonna come over
on your lunch break, I’m gonna fuck you like this, and leave you with cum
up your ass, so you can’t stop thinking about me until evening. Maybe I’ll
even plug you.”
“Oh yeah, you’ll have me on the fucking bathroom floor,” Gunner
moaned, and Caspian got a glimpse of his face—red and twisted in
pleasure. He’d even drooled a little. Caspian would make him lick it off the
tiles. Or rub the floor dry with the flushed cheek. But regardless of how hot
it made him to speak of such dirty deeds, those fantasies took second place
to the pleasure of sawing into the tight hole. Gunner remained pliant and
moaned as Caspian fucked him at full speed, slamming his hips against the
firm buttocks until his balls flooded Gunner’s hole with spunk.
They both gasped when Caspian twisted the meat of Gunner’s ass,
entering him a few final times. He had no idea how much time it took him
to come, but it didn’t matter, because the fact that he used Gunner’s body
solely for his pleasure excited them both.

“There you go, bitch. Drink it all.”
Gunner let out a soft whimper as Caspian pulled away, still trembling
with his orgasm. There was something deliciously obscene in a big guy like
Gunner being left hanging, and he craved to see that pink pucker dripping
with creamy spunk.
Gunner’s rigid cock swung between his legs, but he wouldn’t dare ask
about his own pleasure, just kneeled there, gasping for air, with his ass on
show and pleading for a picture.
He was so hot. The very essence of what Caspian desired, and
Caspian chose to pet his back as reward for doing his job well. “Where’s
that dildo of yours, cream donut?” he asked with a lewd smile.
Gunner hesitated, so Caspian gave his ass a little slap. The way his
slick ass clenched, letting out a drop of cum to slide down to his balls, made
Caspian want to fuck him again, but climax had temporarily taken the edge
off his urgency. He’d make Gunner wait for more. Maybe even beg.
“In a box by my bed.”
Caspian twisted his fingers in the hair at the top of Gunner’s head and
licked his cheek, savoring the saltiness of his sweat. The shivers going
through the big, muscular body were the perfect spice.
“Stay like this. I’m not done with you,” he promised and rose,
walking off on invisible wings. He wanted to keep teasing Gunner but
couldn’t wait to see what kind of toy he’d purchased. He ended up stopping
in the bathroom, where he’d washed his dick in the sink, before going
straight for the elusive box, which he opened with a hurried heartbeat.
The dildo was of an average size, made of purple silicone threaded
with swirls of glittery pink, and had a wide suction base. Just the thought
that Gunner owned it, that he’d bought it at some point in the last month
because he missed being fucked made Caspian grin.

And yet he’d needed Caspian to pop his cherry. How sweet was that?
There was an unused tube of lubricant in the box too, and Caspian
took both the items downstairs, shedding his remaining clothes on the way.
A part of him wondered whether Gunner adhered to his orders, but finding
him in the same submissive position Caspian left him in sent a pang of
pleasure to his balls.
“Look at this pretty thing,” he said, lifting the sex toy. “Couldn’t help
yourself? It had to be pink?”
“I… I mean, might as well get a cute one.” Gunner’s cock was a stiff
baton between his legs, and it had dripped enough pre-cum to make a small
pool under him.
Gunner’s gaze followed him, as if he were a hungry dog dependent on
its master for food and water.
“You should have a taste then,” Caspian said, squatting next to
Gunner and roughly pulling his head up by the hair. “Tell me if it tastes like
candy,” he ordered, rubbing the toy against Gunner’s lips.
Gunner opened his mouth without protest, and Caspian stuffed the toy
in, aroused by the way it spread Gunner’s lips. Their eyes met as Gunner
sucked on the silicone without prompting, and Caspian already knew he’d
be getting his dick sucked by that greedy mouth before this night was over.
He just hadn’t decided if he wanted Gunner to swallow, or if he’d come all
over his face.
“Good boy. That’s where you belong. On your knees. With at least
one of your holes filled. You’re gonna take so much of my cum,” he uttered
in a low voice and pushed the dildo in until Gunner choked.
Despite his eyes watering and drool trailing down his chin, he still
nodded. Even now, he kneeled with his legs spread to avoid touching the fat
dick hanging between his thighs, desperate for attention.

“I almost wish there was two of me to spit-roast you,” Caspian said
and gently removed the toy out of Gunner’s mouth. It was going in up the
other end, so he opened the tub of lube and squirted a generous amount over
the pink silicone.
Gunner watched his every move, gasping for air with damp lips. A
perfect mess with his bound arms, drool on his chin and dripping with
spunk. “Maybe you should invite a friend,” he teased with a silly grin.
Desire clawed into Caspian’s flesh when he imagined a faceless
stranger fucking Gunner against the wall, but while it was an exciting
vision, he didn’t want to share what they had with anyone else.
“Greedy slut,” he said and slapped Gunner’s ass. “Get up and bend
over the counter.”
Caspian kinda enjoyed watching Gunner struggle to rise with his
hands bound, but made sure to be close enough in case Gunner’s legs
cramped. His lover managed to get to the breakfast bar on his own and
leaned against it, presenting his ass with a little sigh.
“It’s your fault. Leaving me all needy.”
“That’s because I enjoy it,” Caspian said and placed the slick toy
between Gunner’s buttocks. There was no need for further preparation after
the rough fuck, so Caspian put his hand between Gunner’s shoulder blades
and pushed until the tight hole opened up and sucked in the colorful
silicone.
He already knew they’d be getting more toys, because they gave him
so much more control. When his own cock was inside Gunner, he found it
hard to focus on much beyond the sheer pleasure of this tight body milking
his dick, but dildos would be perfect for then he wanted to tease Gunner and
watch his pucker swallow a fake dong. Gunner had no idea what was

coming. Maybe Caspian could buy one of those vibrating plugs with a
remote and watch him squirm in public?
Gunner moaned at every slow thrust, pliant and sweet despite the
aggressive ink that singled him out as dangerous.
“Good boy. How do you like that?” Caspian whispered and changed
the angle at which the toy entered Gunner’s hole, on the lookout for the
perfect way to torment Gunner’s prostate. He knew he’d succeeded when
his partner hummed and arched his hips in a way so pleading Caspian bit
one of his buttocks, leaving a bitemark.
“Oh fuck! Oh fuck!” Gunner whimpered, sliding his legs apart, as if
he wanted to take in more. He even tried to thrust against the the counter, so
Caspian moved the dildo again, carefully pumping it in and out as if he
didn’t notice that his lover was going crazy from the direct stimulation.
Caspian needed to get one of those dedicated prostate massagers and tease
bucketfuls of pre-cum out of Gunner before letting him come. He’d buy
cuffs. And nipple clamps. And have Gunner lie on top of Twinky while
fucking his ass.
He loved the control toys offered and continued thrusting with the
dildo until Gunner’s face reached the color of raspberry juice. He pushed
the toy in all the way to the flared base and grinned. “Hold it, or I won’t let
you come today.”
It was an empty threat, since he didn’t actually want to have this kind
of power over another person, but saying such things out loud made his
cock stiffen again. Oh, he was getting ready for the next round.
Caspian must have broken Gunner’s smart mouth too, because he
wasn’t spewing any stupid talk and just lay there against the counter with
little moans coming out of his lips as he squeezed the toy with his ass.

Happy with the result of his threats, Caspian took hold of Gunner’s
shoulder and pulled until the firm body stood straight, with impromptu
nipple clamps still on his chest. He made a delicious sight, but Caspian
wasn’t sure how long they should sit there, and opened one, releasing the
flesh.
Gunner let out a pained grunt and clenched his thighs, which
prompted Caspian into hugging him. His lips closed around the tortured
flesh, and he gently teased it with his tongue, holding on to one of Gunner’s
bound hands. The thick fingers instantly grabbed him when he reached for
the other clamp. The massive chest heaved, and the nipple he soothed with
his tongue burned with heat.
“It hurts,” Gunner whimpered but didn’t otherwise complain or ask to
be released.
There was no anger in his voice, only pleading.
“It still needs to be removed, baby. I can go slower this time,”
Caspian whispered and licked the freed nipple, which felt so hot and
swollen he wasn’t sure whether Gunner’s discomfort made him aroused or
sympathetic.
“Uhm. Slower.” Gunner took a deep breath as Caspian took his time
with the other clamp, replacing it with his lips as soon as he pulled it off. He
licked the sensitive flesh, then blew air on it and gave Gunner a firm hug.
“You still can’t come. And you won’t until I say so,” he said and
reached to the open drawer with kitchen utensils. The silicone spatula he so
often used would work perfectly for what he intended.
Gunner shifted from one leg to the other, watching Caspian with a
hazy gaze that only reminded Caspian of the dildo stuck in Gunner’s cumfilled hole.

“Please,” he uttered, so the teasing must have sweetened his filthy
mouth.
“No,” Caspian told him and slapped the wide end of the spatula
against one of the damp nipples. Gunner stiffened but didn’t protest when
Caspian repeated this several times.
Caspian felt odd about deriving so much pleasure from Gunner’s pain,
but this wasn’t what truly got him going. The reason why he liked watching
his lover squirm was about Gunner submitting to his will, even when he
didn’t quite enjoy the process. They’d have to discuss this in the future, but
since Gunner wasn’t protesting, Caspian went with his gut and delivered
fast, loud strikes all over Gunner’s body. To his back and the buttocks
tightened around a sex toy. To his chest and thighs. And then, Caspian
squatted in front of Gunner and tapped the stiff prick hanging between
Gunner’s legs in the gentlest way possible.
His lover fidgeted, backing into the counter, but Caspian had all of his
attention when he looked up into the wide eyes on a tattooed face that
anyone else would have found threatening. But not Caspian. Not anymore.
This was the face of an overgrown puppy. The cutest he’d ever seen.
But a puppy needed training as much as cuddles, so Caspian held on to
Gunner’s nape and slapped his balls next.
“Poor thing. This must be torture.”
Gunner got to his toes with a loud moan. “I just wanna come,” he
pleaded. “Please let me come.”
He was shivering and sweating, yet tightened his legs to keep in the
dildo and sobbed, as if he’d truly given up the right to make decisions about
his own pleasure.
Caspian loved it.
This man was the fulfillment of all his dreams.

“You’ll get to come when you suck me off.”
Caspian had to stop Gunner when he almost dropped to his knees.
“No. Stay here.”
Instead, Caspian climbed the bar stool and sat on the marble counter.
He spread his legs, inviting Gunner to feast on the stiff cock throbbing
between his legs, ready for more action.
Gunner didn’t say a word and leaned in, happy to get his mouth
around a juicy dick. Caspian slid his fingers into the short hair on top of
Gunner’s head with a groan of satisfaction. He could get used to this. Not
just to having an eager lover with a hot and ready mouth, but to Gunner
being his.
Pleasure pulled him right back to reality, and he lay on the cool
surface, with heels digging into the edge of the counter, and hands pushing
Gunner’s head down until all of Caspian’s cock was buried in the heat of his
throat.
His cock wasn’t big enough to injure someone like Gunner, and
seeing him take it all like a champ, Caspian forced his head up and down,
hypnotized by the sight of his dick gliding in and out while streaks of saliva
coated their skin.
Just imagining that at the same time Gunner was squeezing his ass
around the dildo, all because Caspian told him to, brought Caspian to the
edge of orgasm. He couldn’t have felt more fulfilled as a man. Even in this
body, which didn’t come with the inbuilt benefits of height and size, he
could top Gunner, and be the center of his universe.
To master him. And care for him.
Caspian came, setting the countertop on fire as his burning body
shook violently in pleasure. Gunner’s face flashed at the back of his eyelids

when he shut them, and as tension left his body, the warm head between his
thighs was the one thing keeping him from drifting into sleep.
He willed his eyes open and sat, bringing Gunner up for a spunkflavored kiss. Gunner was eager as if he’d never tasted anything better. He
arched into Caspian, but with his arms bound, he could only rub against him
like an over-excited Labrador. He even licked along Caspian’s jaw to
express his appreciation.
A deep shiver ran up Caspian’s body as he finally slid to the floor
while still keeping his hand on his giant’s throat. “Let’s see if I can take
your dick as easily.”
“Oh, God… yes, please,” Gunner whispered with bloodshot eyes
focused on Caspian.
That loving gaze gave Caspian such a sense of power even as he
dropped to his knees and faced Gunner’s massive cock for the first time. It
was dark, dripping with pre-cum, and he didn’t expect this to last long, but
in the future, he’d take his time exploring the length and caressing Gunner’s
balls. Now though, he reached between his man’s legs and grabbed the
dildo, moving it out the moment Caspian flicked his tongue against the salty
cockhead.
Gunner moaned, and when he jerked his hips, the hard cock slid along
Caspian’s cheek.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck!” He was a restless, beautiful puppet, and Caspian
would be pulling his strings however he liked.
He loved the sense of power it gave him and opened his mouth,
looking up as the cock rode his tongue until Caspian hollowed his cheeks
and sucked.
Gunner’s flesh was so rosy now, and he shook so violently Caspian
feared he might fall over, but that didn’t stop him from pumping the pink

dildo against Gunner’s prostate and playing with his tool. So he was teasing
instead of going for the hard stimulation that would have brought Gunner
off in no time, but he also wasn’t denying his lover anything, dedicated to
giving him all the pleasure he needed.
When the fat dick twitched in Caspian’s mouth right before spurting
cum, there could be no greater satisfaction than Gunner’s sobbing.
Everything about Gunner, from the scent of his arousal, to the pliant way he
took cock was perfection.
Caspian embraced Gunner, holding him still as spurts of cum flooded
his mouth, but he swallowed all of it and held the dildo still, soothing his
man with gentle petting.
“It’s all right, baby. You did good,” he whispered when he finally
leaned back, letting the spent cock drop out of his mouth.
Gunner struggled to catch his breath, but his expression was so bare
and open. The damp streaks running down his face made Caspian want to
kiss the tears away and make sure Gunner knew he’d be taken care of.
Because Caspian would do anything for him.
“It’s… it was more than—” Gunner struggled to find the right words
to describe his experience, but Caspian understood him anyway.
He gently removed the dildo, and, for lack of better options, placed it
on the floor. His parents weren’t coming home until next evening, so there
would be more than enough time for cleanup. “I know. I loved it too,”
Caspian said, climbing Gunner’s body until he stood straight. The knot
tying Gunner’s hands together unwound with a single tug, and Caspian
pulled the freed arms around him. It felt strange to find himself in an
embrace of a man so massive yet still feel like the one giving support.
He had no doubt this was a defining moment in his life. With
Gunner’s help, he’d kicked his insecurities in the face, because he’d never

again let his size stop him from reaching for what he wanted.
“I have one more request, Gunner. Carry me to my parents’
bathroom,” he whispered, petting Gunner’s muscular pec in appreciation.
This would work out. The swap had changed the way he thought
about his body in the first place, but this proved that he didn’t have to look
a certain way in order to have the relationship and sex he wanted. For the
first time in his life, he could have it all. All thanks to Gunner and the silly
orange dog, who might or might not understand the magic he caused.
Gunner’s gaze was still hazy, but his breath evened out. He pulled
back from Caspian and glanced at him, as if assessing the best way to pick
him up, but then turned around and offered his back.
“Hop on.”
He was so delicious, with all those firm muscles under tattooed skin.
Caspian grinned and climbed on, giddy like a kid getting to ride a pony for
the first time. “This is the life.” He didn’t need to feel self-conscious about
his boyfriend—because they were back together—carrying him. Who was
to tell Caspian what made him a man when only he and Gunner got to
decide the rules in their relationship?
Gunner chuckled as he left the kitchen, arching his head with pleasure
when Caspian kissed his ear. “Are we gonna take a long bath?”
“Mhmm, you deserve a nice bath bomb, and lots of foam, and
cuddles,” Caspian whispered, winking at Dingo, who peeked at them from
his bed in the corridor and slammed his tail against the padding, as if he
were letting Caspian know he was happy for them. Or maybe he was just a
dog being a dog. One could never know with him.
Gunner climbed the stairs without trouble, despite carrying additional
weight, and walked toward the master bedroom. “I would have never

admitted in the past that I loved shit like that. But like… why wouldn’t I,
right?”
Warmth filled Caspian’s chest when he showered gentle kisses all
over Gunner’s bare shoulder. “No. No reason not to. And I never thought
I’d feel comfortable dominating a big guy like you, or really anyone, but it
felt so natural. Like we were made for each other,” he added, tightening his
embrace around Gunner’s neck.
“You think the dog knew this?” Gunner snorted, but then smacked his
lips a few times, and the sound of paws thudding on the floor resonated in
the silent house.
“I think he knows everything, and we should start making homemade
organic food for him,” Caspian muttered, enjoying the steadiness of
Gunner’s body.
His parents’ bathroom was big, with a large window, which was
currently hidden behind a curtain, and lots of plants surrounding the big
corner tub that would fit two people, even if one of them was Gunner-sized.
Dingo squeezed past Gunner’s legs in the doorway and sat on a plush
green rug by the sink.
Caspian slid off Gunner’s back and went straight for the taps, making
sure the water was warm before grinning at Gunner. “How do you feel?” he
asked, reaching for a basket where his mom kept her bathing supplies.
Gunner slouched a little and petted Dingo’s head with a smile. “Tired.
But happy. I’ve never imagined I could feel like this in the body I have now.
I thought my chance was gone the moment we changed places.”
Caspian took his time chewing over what Gunner had said, and
eventually chose the rose-scented bath bomb he knew Gunner would love,
before tossing it into the filling tub.

“You are perfect. The way you are, and in my body both. You are still
the same person to me.”
“I worried you’d only want a little cutie.” Gunner met Caspian’s gaze
with a shy smile.
Caspian reached for his hand and pulled him closer, caressing the
front of Gunner’s torso, overcome with warm feelings. “You are a cutie.
And if you want different clothes, we can go shopping together, find
something that fits your taste more.”
“Will you… take care of me?” Gunner whispered and stroked
Caspian’s shoulder. “I’ve always been taught I have to do everything
myself. As a man, you know? And you just seem to have it all figured out.
Would it be so bad if I wanted you to take charge? Even if just a little?’
He couldn’t have said anything more perfect. Caspian took hold of
Gunner’s hands and looked at him while the flowery aroma spread in the
air. “I love you, Gunner. I will always take care of you.”
The gentle smile spreading over Gunner’s features was worth all the
effort Caspian would have to put into this relationship in the future. “I don’t
wanna be a burden on you, but I love you too much to let go,” he said as
Caspian urged him into the bubbly water.
“Don’t be dumb. You’re not a burden. I like this. I want to be the man
and make you feel safe. And you made me realize today that I don’t need to
change to offer you all that. You have no idea how happy this makes me,”
he said and picked up a new natural sponge, which he drizzled with Mom’s
shower gel, the same Gunner liked so much.
When Gunner slid into the water, the level rose so much that no more
was needed. Caspian’s giant smiled at him and washed his face. “I’ve never
been in love before you,” he said, so enamoured with Caspian it bordered
on sappy.

But Caspian liked it, and each word from Gunner’s mouth made his
heart fuller. “Me neither. But you are exactly what I always wanted, even
though I didn’t know,” he said and rubbed the sponge over sweaty skin that
still kept some of its flush. He was careful around the nipples, since he
expected them to be still very tender, and lifted Gunner’s arm, lathering him
up.
While surprised at first, Gunner tuned into the touch and let Caspian
take care of him. “I just miss the piano, you know? A different life seemed
within my reach when I had your fingers.”
Caspian stilled, meeting Gunner’s eyes. He’d expected Gunner to
long for being small and cute, or having Caspian’s secure financial
situation, not this. “You really love playing, don’t you?”
“Yeah. But you’re teaching me now, so it is what it is,” Gunner said,
looking away. “Do you miss anything about being me?”
Small things. The pleasure of being seen as strong and potentially
dangerous without needing to establish his position every single time he
met new people, but his newfound confidence made up for the loss in
pounds of muscle. Life had given him a priceless lesson, and he could from
now on be the master of his fate, with a body he no longer resented, a man
who loved him, caring parents, and a good job. He could have it all.
But Gunner wanted to play the piano.
Music lived in his heart, but he could no longer make it and it would
take years until he became proficient in the same way Caspian was. If it was
even possible, because while Caspian didn’t want to dampen his
enthusiasm, he did notice that Gunner wasn’t as good at feeling rhythm or
hearing nuance in sounds. Whether it was because of lack of early
exposure, or because his body was just built that way, he would never

become a teacher or performer. And knowing this became an instant weight
in Caspian’s heart.
“I liked being big and tall. It made carrying you around easy-peasy.”
Gunner smiled at him, and leaned in for a little kiss, but then grabbed
Caspian’s arm hard and pulled him into the rose-scented water with a splash
that reached Dingo.
Caspian snorted, shaking his damp hair like a dog. “You’re the
worst!” he said and gently punched Gunner’s chest before sliding into his
lap. But Gunner’s words stayed with him, and no matter how happy he was,
the thought of Gunner truly missing something from the brief time of their
swap remained a thorn in Caspian’s heart even as they kissed and joked
around while Fluffer graced them with his presence and settled on the
closed toilet seat.
Caspian had promised to take care of Gunner. So he would.

Chapter 34 – Gunner
Gunner woke up surprisingly not-sore, but when he patted the soft
bedding next to him, he realized Caspian wasn’t there. It took several big
yawns for him to open his eyes wide, and he frowned at his outstretched
fingers.
They were slim.
Pale.
“Caspian?” he uttered, sitting up in panic. This couldn’t be happening.
Not again. Not when they’d re-established their lives.
“Cas!” But Caspian was nowhere to be seen, so Gunner jumped out of
the bed and pulled on a pair of shorts.
The bedroom door was open, and the sweet scent of frying batter
pulled him into the hallway. He stalled, wondering whether Caspian’s
parents hadn’t returned home already, but they wouldn’t have driven all
night without letting them know that something had cut their weekend trip
short. So he took a deep breath and looked down the staircase, feeling
naked. A part of him wanted to run back for a shirt, but they were alone,
and the sound of sizzling oil lured him onto the steps. Once the cool wood
touched his bare feet, he walked all the way to the first floor.

Dingo spotted him first and got up from his spot at Caspian’s feet
with a short bark that got Caspian’s attention. To Gunner’s bewilderment,
Caspian smiled at him, grabbing the front of his black T-shirt and fanning
himself with it to cool his broad chest. The kitchen was quite hot, due to the
sun shining in through the windows, and the steaming pancakes on the
stove.
He was once again in Gunner’s body.
“Morning.”
Gunner’s heart rattled when he entered the kitchen. “Why are you so
calm about this? Why didn’t you wake me up?”
Caspian cupped Gunner’s face and leaned in, kissing both of his
cheeks before claiming his lips with a soft groan. “It’s all right. You needed
the rest.”
“What do you mean?” Gunner’s shoulders relaxed, and he reached for
Caspian’s hands as the dog sniffed around them, tapping its paws over the
tiles.
Caspian pulled him into a warm hug that smelled of soap and the
maddening cologne he liked to wear. “Why don’t you play for me, hm? I’m
almost done with breakfast.”
Gunner stilled in the warm embrace, overwhelmed by being back in
the form that allowed him to be so small next to Caspian. But most of all…
“You did this? You just asked Dingo?”
Caspian’s teeth rolled over his tongue, but he ended up nodding. The
rays of sun made his brown eyes brighter, and his features were so relaxed
even the stark lines of the tattoo on his face couldn’t have made them look
threatening. “I did. You can change back, if you like, but I wanted to
surprise you. Needed to see if it works when I’m the only one to make a
wish. Didn’t want you to be disappointed if it didn’t work out.”

Gunner bit his lip, glancing down at his elegant hands when he
stepped away from Caspian. “And you… want to hear me play?” Joy filled
his heart already. Maybe once a month or so, they could take the risk and
swap for a day? And he could play? Also, they could play together, but that
was a different ball game.
“Whatever you like. Beethoven. Mozart. Chopin. Or improvise,”
Caspian said and unexpectedly pulled on Gunner’s pierced nipple while the
air heated, dense with fumes of fried dough and love.
Gunner laughed out loud and returned the favor. “How does this body
feel in the aftermath, huh?”
A flush climbed Caspian’s neck, and he turned around to flip the
pancakes. “Well… I’m quite sore, actually. You sure I wasn’t too rough?”
Gunner stalled for a second, then laughed out loud when he realized
Caspian wasn’t talking about his nipples. “I like it rough!” he yelled,
walking off, because the piano was calling to him.
“Duly noted,” Caspian said, but Gunner was already in the music
room and lifting the keyboard cover. His gaze swept over the collection of
sheet music gathered on shelves close by, but he didn’t need any of them
today and gingerly sat on the bench, placing his hands on the white and
black keys.
He inhaled the sweet, sun-spiced air and looked at his thighs, dusted
with faint, golden hairs, his chest, marked with the tattoo he’d put on
Caspian’s body in an act of thoughtless revenge, and at the blue veins at the
tops of the graceful hands he’d missed every day since he got back the
coarse, meaty paws given to him by nature.
But the boy he so loved being was back, and he let his inner voice
come out in a series of fast, joyful chords. He jumped between one melody

and another, between composers decades apart, and then added his own
little twists with the same ease he improvised in the boxing ring.
Caspian’s generosity took his breath away, and he fought the tears of
happiness while his fingers danced across the keyboard. He’d never felt
more loved, and let the instrument boast about his happiness. The piano
he’d barely started making any progress with, was once more an extension
of him, not an object of wood and string.
His whole body moved as he played, and by the time he froze,
finishing his improvised mashup on a strong note, warm hands gently
squeezed his shoulders. “You have such talent. It’s amazing.”
Gunner’s grin could split his face in two as he looked up. “You liked
it?” he asked, greedy for appreciation. “You taught me all I know after all.”
Caspian pulled Gunner up. “I can’t play like that. You use what I
know and take it to another level.”
“Are the pancakes ready? How do I deserve such an amazing
boyfriend?” Gunner took the opportunity to hug Caspian again. He still
couldn’t get over last night. He’d risked their friendship by putting all his
cards on the table in front of Caspian, and it couldn’t have been more worth
it.
They were together. In love. And for the first time, he could rely on
someone else’s care instead of trying to keep himself afloat in the stormy
ocean of life.
“Everything for you,” Caspian said and pulled Gunner along, to the
dining room, which smelled so green because of all the plants heating up in
the sunlight. The table was crowded with little bowls full of fruit and other
toppings, but there was also coffee, juice, and a huge stack of steaming
pancakes as the centerpiece.

Caspian sped up and pulled the chair back for Gunner. Always the
gentleman. Gunner laughed and gave him a kiss before sitting down. He
couldn’t have felt more pampered. “Am I a prince today? You must have
really enjoyed yourself last night.”
They’d been too tired to fuck again, but made out in bed so late into
the night, Gunner didn’t even remember when he’d fallen asleep.
Firm arms settled around Gunner’s neck as Caspian leaned down,
pressing his stubbly cheek to Gunner’s with a soft sigh. It was as if he
couldn’t bring himself to stay physically distant. “You’ll always be my little
prince. If that’s what you want.”
His words hung in the air, stealing Gunner’s breath away when their
meaning sunk in. The concept of staying like this shimmered in Gunner’s
mind with thousands of colors, but he held back his enthusiasm for
Caspian’s sake, and distracted himself by grabbing a pancake.
“I would, but also, I get it that we couldn’t. Your job, your parents—
it’s okay, Cas.”
“I wouldn’t be offering if I didn’t want to do it,” Caspian said, his
voice sounding a bit sterner this time.
Gunner glanced over his shoulder, out of breath. “You’re serious.” His
mind went blank. He’d already made peace with his future and didn’t know
how to deal with this nuclear bomb of an offer.
Caspian kissed him on the cheek and sat in front of the other plate.
“I’ve thought about it all night,” he said and took a pancake from the platter
in the middle.
Gunner absentmindedly poured some maple syrup over his own, still
too confused to think straight. “You know I want you no matter which body
you’re in, right? I meant that.”

“Me too,” Caspian said and reached across the table to squeeze
Gunner’s hand. “I realized that last night. But you can only play the piano
as you are now, and you love that so much. I couldn’t look at myself in the
mirror if I took that away from you.”
Gunner’s eyes filled with tears. This was so thoughtful. So selfless.
“And… and how would it work? When Dingo dies one day, there will be no
going back.”
Caspian shrugged and drizzled syrup on top of his pancake. “Then we
better not swap often. I’m happy being in either body, but you need those
hands, and I want you to have them.” He swallowed, briefly looking away
and pretending he was too focused on the choice of fruit to meet Gunner’s
gaze.
“Cas? This has to be the best thing anyone’s done for me. I won’t let
you down, won’t ruin your reputation, and I’ll try my best to make it work.
But you know I can’t be an accountant, right?” He rubbed his eyes with a
napkin and added more toppings on his pancake as his mind raced with the
possibilities opening in front of him.
Caspian grinned. “No. You’ll be a piano teacher. And if you want,
maybe you’ll even perform. And I’ll finish high school and think of my
options. We’re still very young.”
Gunner chewed his sweet breakfast, watching Caspian with so much
love it threatened to break his heart open. “First of all, the pancakes are
amazing. Other than that, are you really okay with taking on the job I do for
your mom?”
“I’m not a snob, I hope. And I like DIY, so it’ll be perfect for now.”
Caspian added a dollop of whipped cream and cut a piece of his pancake,
smiling at Gunner. “But you have to promise you’ll make my parents love
me like their own, okay?”

“I will. I promise. They won’t be happy about me quitting accounting,
but they’ll swallow it, won’t they?” Gunner didn’t want to seem ungrateful
and filled his mouth with food but couldn’t stop looking at the perfection
that was his man. Caspian would carry all that baggage, and put in so much
effort, effectively starting his life over, just to make him happy. But he
seemed adamant to do it, as if he’d considered all the pros and cons, and no
longer had any doubts. If he wanted this, who was Gunner to reject such a
generous offer?
Caspian shrugged. “Yes. But you really need to grovel. My education
cost a lot of money.”
Gunner nodded so eagerly a berry fell off his fork. “I will. I’m gonna
make it up to them. I’ll—wait. Are they gonna lose their shit about us
dating?”
Caspian grinned. “They know we used to date, so I don’t think it’ll
come as that much of a shock. But it will probably be a bit awkward for
them, so we should look for a place of our own soon.”
The pancakes tasted even sweeter. “It’s really happening? We’re
gonna make it work?”
Caspian leaned back in the chair, the food forgotten on his plate. “Last
night was transformative for me. I understood what I really wanted. I want
you. And I want to give you everything you deserve but couldn’t get. We
will find a small home, and move in with Fluffer and Dingo. You will play,
I’ll try to get a qualification, so I can make use of everything I already
learned and earn decent money. I really wanted to go to Italy for our
honeymoon, but feel free to come up with a counter-suggestion.”
Gunner dropped his fork. “Say what?” He cleared his throat, staring at
Caspian with his face on fire. “Did you just propose to me?”

Caspian froze and quickly hid his hand under the table when it shook.
“Um… I figured it was obvious, since we share everything. Don’t you want
to?”
Gunner laughed, and just had to get up. He pushed into Caspian’s lap
and kissed his sweet lips. A forever with Caspian. Who could ever say no to
that? “I do. I totally do. This is it. I wanna be with you. You know your
mom will organize the most lavish wedding ever?”
Caspian smiled with relief and hugged Gunner. “I count on it. Need to
let everyone know what a hottie I scored.”
“No, I’m the one who got myself a sugar daddy.” Gunner kissed
Caspian all over the face that was no longer his.
They didn’t just swap this time. They somehow melted together and
each held a piece of the other in their heart.

Epilogue – Caspian
3 years later
Caspian’s balls throbbed as he slammed into Gunner’s tight body,
rolling his hands over his lover’s slender mid-riff. His fingers snuck under
the pink T-shirt, slid over the sweat gathered between his shoulder blades,
and settled on the nape, just below the knot of pale hair.
“Go on. You still haven’t filled the page,” Caspian uttered, breathless
and focused only on his lover, who helplessly held onto the side table and
scribbled on a large piece of paper while Caspian railed him from behind.
“B-but I’m… almost done,” Gunner whined, filling the sheet with
crooked letters.
Caspian slapped his ass hard, and the boy barely managed to bite back
a cry. “No buts. Write it down: Caspian has the hardest dick,” he uttered,
increasingly breathless. The game they were playing both amused and
aroused him, and he wasn’t about to let his bitch off the hook.
There was a tiny bit of real satisfaction to role-playing the bully who
fucked Gunner and demanded his homework done while it happened, but
no one needed to know that. Especially since Gunner was eating it up.

“I’ll report you!” Gunner warned between one moan and another,
knowing very well he was waving a red flag in front of a bull. Up for some
rough play, then.
Caspian grabbed him by the hair and squashed Gunner’s face against
the desktop as he sawed into him ever harder. “No one will believe you,
little bitch, because I’m not leaving any DNA inside you,” he grunted,
referring to their use of a condom. No one wanted to deal with cum-stained
pants on a six-hour drive.
Gunner cried out, gripping the sides of the desk, and when his tight
hole twitched around Caspian’s cock, there was no doubt that he’d come.
The way he still writhed and wiggled in Caspian’s grip only made fucking
him more delightful.
Caspian grabbed his hips as if they were handles and let his head drop
to his nape, no longer focused on the angle of his thrusts, and let his instinct
carry him.
Gunner braced against the table and whimpered. “Fuck, you’re so
good at this…”
Caspian came, bending over his lover as he pumped a few more
times. “Damn, you’re so… so hot, baby,” he uttered, burying his face in the
folds of Gunner’s T-shirt.
“We’re so fucking late,” Gunner groaned but kept his eyes shut and
rested atop the desk. His skin was scorching to the touch, and Caspian
didn’t want to let go yet, but Gunner wasn’t wrong about the clock ticking
away precious seconds.
Caspian held on to the condom as he withdrew from Gunner but
kissed his nape, breathing in the scent of fresh perspiration and the sweet
aroma of Gunner’s fruity body spray.

“It’s okay. Don’t want to be married to the schedule now that I finally
got a few days off,” he muttered and finally tied the condom before tossing
it into the trash can on the other side of the hallway.
Their home was modest, nothing like the villa owned by Caspian’s
parents, but the neighborhood was nice and safe, and they didn’t need that
much. Three years on, Gunner was still the sweetest little slut of a boyfriend
Caspian could have wished for. He’d secretly worried whether he made the
right choice by offering Gunner the permanent swap, but as strange as the
whole experience had been, he had no regrets.
After some growing pains and tense months with Caspian’s parents,
Gunner got their support to pursue his dream of becoming a piano teacher.
He got a certification for it while Caspian graduated high school in his
stead. Their wedding, while lavish, had been small and featured no
chocolate fountains. Mom and Dad hadn’t been thrilled about Caspian
“rushing into things”, but once all was said and done, they’d slowly
warmed up to ‘Gunner’. Caspian did everything in his power to make sure
they saw him for who he was, and while things would never be as they used
to be, he was always welcome in their home and often chatted to both of
them.
Life had been tough for him, since he needed to not only pass his high
school exam again but also restart his further education while also working,
but now that he’d gotten a secretarial job at Dad’s firm, things were finally
looking up.
Impressed by how well their ‘son’s’ ex-delinquent partner had
cleaned up his life, Caspian’s parents gave him more support than he could
have anticipated, and if he kept up his hard work, he could count on a
promotion and a job more suitable to his education. Gunner also contributed
to their budget, but earned less, and Caspian couldn’t help feeling proud

that he supported Gunner no matter how heteronormative that was. It suited
them both, so he didn’t care about the opinions of others.
But working so much pumped Caspian out, and he was eager for a
weekend getaway with his boy. They’d be staying at a nice hotel, but since
there was nothing he loved more than pampering Gunner and seeing the
awe on his face whenever Caspian managed to surprise him, he’d also
booked tickets for Don Giovani.
Gunner, on the other hand, was happy to take on most of the house
chores. He’d expanded his cooking repertoire and never failed to prepare
dinner for them like a good little house husband.
Some days were harder than others, but Caspian wouldn’t change a
thing in their relationship. He absent-mindedly petted Dingo on the way to
the bedroom where they’d left their bags, when the doorbell rang.
They finished just in time.
“I’ll get it,” Gunner called out and ran down the corridor while
Caspian scratched Fluffer’s head goodbye and carried their luggage toward
the entrance.
Caspian looked around the bedroom once more, to make sure
Gunner’s little brother didn’t find any sex toys while he stayed with their
pets, but it seemed all the naughty boxes had been tucked away in the
closet.
Caspian stilled as he glanced at the tall mirror. He still sometimes
caught himself surprised by the reflection staring back at him. He had a bit
of a flush left from the sex, and wasn’t nearly as buff as he used to be when
he’d first taken over Gunner’s skin, but his silhouette was imposing thanks
to his height. Three years were a lot, so he’d grown out his hair to a midlength, which he liked to slick back, and wore clothes that were way more
stylish than Gunner’s original wardrobe. A series of painful laser treatments

ensured that while the face tattoo remained visible up close, it was no
longer so stark against his flesh.
He was tall and handsome though, and glancing into the mirror never
stopped being a delight. He’d had to learn to navigate attention from
women which was a surprising minefield he’d never walked into before, but
when the wedding band on his hand didn’t do the trick, revealing that a
husband waited for him at home was usually more than enough.
“Hello, Noah,” he called out.
Noah cooed at Dingo before yelling a ‘Hey!’ He was the only person
who knew the truth about them, and they’d grown close thanks to that.
Noah was also the one person they trusted with Dingo, despite his constant
attempts to encourage the dog to grace him with a lottery win.
Gunner was talking to his brother when Caspian approached with
their bags. “So you’ve got food in the fridge, and I bought the ice cream
you like, but remember—”
Noah rolled his eyes. “I know, don’t bring peanuts into the house.”
“Have fun. Call if anything’s wrong. And don’t invite strangers over,”
Caspian added and pressed a little kiss to the top of Gunner’s head on his
way out.
Gunner grinned back at him, the blue eyes sparkling with so much
love Caspian got a happy tingle in his chest. Moments later, Gunner was
running to catch up with him by the car.
“I can’t wait to see New York!” he said, putting his sunglasses on. In
the knee-length shorts and a pink T-shirt, he couldn’t have looked more
relaxed.
“I can’t want to see you in New York. I suppose we both win,”
Caspian said and squeezed Gunner’s hand as soon as they both sat in the
car.

Gunner gave him a toothy smile. “You make my dreams come true.”
Caspian grinned. “This whole life is a dream. But we’re not gonna
wake up.”
The following hour passed on listening to Gunner’s favorite playlist
of classical music remixes, but when Caspian’s gaze briefly focused on his
husband’s pink fingertips, his mind was taken right back to the quickie
they’d had just before leaving.
“Fuck! The paper.”
Gunner pushed his shades down his nose, and Caspian groaned.
“The paper where you wrote ‘Caspian has the hardest dick’ a hundred
times. We left it on the desk.”
Gunner started laughing so hard tears glistened in his eyes. “Oopsie.”
The End

Thank you for reading Take My Body. If you enjoyed your time with our
story, we would really appreciate it if you took a few minutes to leave a
review on your favorite platform. It is especially important for us as selfpublishing authors, who don’t have the backing of an established press.
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Kat&Agnes AKA K.A. Merikan
kamerikan@gmail.com
http://kamerikan.com

Feel My Pain
K.A. Merikan
—Two enemies cursed to feel each other’s pain.—
Zane. “I will burn your life to the ground.”
Roach. “I’m a cockroach. I’ll survive.”
Two years ago, the Rabid Hyenas MC ripped Zane apart like a pack of
starving wolves. But he’s not only a survivor, he took revenge that same
night.
Turns out, one of the bikers is still alive, and as long as that’s the case, Zane
will not know peace. Especially since Roach is the dirtbag who caused all
the mayhem in the first place.

When an act of revenge meant to close that chapter of Zane’s life takes a
shocking turn, all hell breaks loose.
Roach’s pain is his.
When Roach bleeds, he does.
When Zane suffers, Roach screams.
So until Zane can figure out how to lift the curse and kill Roach, he’s stuck
caring for the dumbass who drinks too much, works like a dog, and hasn’t
moved on an inch since he lost his motorcycle club.
But Roach has other plans for the man twisting his miserable life around.
For him, Zane is hope, lust, and love combined, so Roach will gladly stay
bound to him forever.
Even if it kills them.
Dirty, dark, and delicious, “Feel My Pain” is a gritty M/M dark romance
novel with magical elements and a happy ending. Prepare for violence,
intense jealousy, and scorching hot, emotional, explicit scenes.
POSSIBLE SPOILERS:
Themes: Enemies to lovers, forced proximity, magical bond, revenge,
poverty, disability, small town, vulnerability, versatile lovers
Length: ~110,000 words (Standalone novel)
WARNING: This story contains scenes of violence, offensive language and
morally ambiguous characters as well as sensitive topics of child abuse,

addiction, and suicide

Laurent and the Beast
K.A. Merikan
—Nothing can stop true love. Not time. Not even the devil himself.—
1805. Laurent. Indentured servant. Desperate to escape a life that is falling
apart.
2017. Beast. Kings of Hell Motorcycle Club vice president. His fists do the
talking.
Beast has been disfigured in a fire, but he’s covered his skin with tattoos to
make sure no one mistakes his scars for weakness. The accident not only
hurt his body, but damaged his soul and self-esteem, so he’s wrapped
himself in a tight cocoon of violence and mayhem where no one can reach
him.

Until one night, when he finds a young man covered in blood in their
clubhouse. Sweet, innocent, and as beautiful as an angel fallen from heaven,
Laurent pulls on all of Beast’s heartstrings. Laurent is so lost in the world
around him, and is such a tangled mystery, that Beast can’t help but let the
man claw his way into the stone that is Beast’s heart.
In 1805, Laurent has no family, no means, and his eyesight is failing. To
escape a life of poverty, he uses his beauty, but that only backfires and leads
him to a catastrophe that changes his life forever. He takes one step into the
abyss and is transported to the future, ready to fight for a life worth living.
What he doesn’t expect in his way is a brutal, gruff wall of tattooed muscle
with a tender side that only Laurent is allowed to touch. And yet, if Laurent
ever wants to earn his freedom, he might have to tear out the heart of the
very man who took care of him when it mattered most.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS:
Themes: time travel, servitude, serial killer, cruelty, motorcycle club,
alternative lifestyles, disability, demons, tattoos, impossible choices,
deception, crime, self-discovery, healing, virginity, black magic, gothic
Genre: Dark, paranormal romance
Length: ~135,000 words (Book 1 in the series, can be read as a standalone)
WARNING: This story contains scenes of violence, offensive language, and
morally ambiguous characters.

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About the author
K.A. Merikan are a team of writers always eager to explore the murky
waters of the weird and wonderful, K.A. Merikan don’t follow fixed
formulas and want each of their books to be a surprise for those who choose
to hop on for the ride.
K.A. Merikan have a few sweeter M/M romances as well, but they
specialize in the dark, dirty, and dangerous side of M/M, full of bikers, bad
boys, mafiosi, and scorching hot romance.